Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1870-07-09
Why Aunt Sally Never Got Married

Why Aunt Sally Never Got Married.
Nov, Aunt Sally, do please tell us
why you never got married. You know
you said once that when you were girl
you were engaged to minister, and
promised you would tell us all about it
some time. Now, aunt, please do"
Well, if l ever did see such girls in
my born days. It's tease, tease, frcm
morning till night you must know all
about everything you haven't no business
to know anything about. Such inquisi-
tive, pestiferous critters as you are! When
was young, girls we're different !; they
minded their own business, and didn't go
sailing around with a whole string of
beaux, getting their heads filled with all
kinds of nonsense. never dared to asks
my aunts, married or single, about any of
their affairs. Pretty mess I'd have got in
if l had. When they offered to tell ME
anything of their own accord, I kept my
mouth shut and listened. Everything is
different .a-days; young folks have no
respect for their elders. But as 1 sec I'm
not going to have any peace till 1 do tell
you, why just listen, and don't let me hear
word out Of one Of your mouths till get
through"
"That's right, Aunt Sally, 90 right
ahead, do, and we'll keep perfectly still"
swell, you seeI was about seventeen
years old, and l was living in Utica, in
the State of New York Though l say
it myself. was quite good booking girl,
then, and had several beauxs. The one
that took my fancy most was young
minister, very promising young man,
and remarkably pious and steady. He
thought good deal of me, and l kind of
took fancy to him, aud things ran on till
we were engaged. One evening he came
to me-I remember it as we'll as if it were
only yesterday. When he came into the
parlor where was alone, he came up to
me and-but, now, pshaw, girls l don't
like to tell the rest" ...t ....
ooh, Aunt Sally, for mcrcy's sake,
don't stop; tell us what he did"
"Well, as l said, he came up to me,
and put his arms around me, and rather
huggeI me, when l got excited and somc-
what frustrated; it was long time ago.
and l don't know but what l might have
huggcd him back little. Then I felt
but just now--clear out, every one Of you,
I shan't tell you any more"
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally
Tell us how you felt. Didu't you feel
good? And what did he do next? ?"
"Oh, such tormcnts as you are! I
was like any other girl, and pretty soon l
pretended to be mad about it, and pushed
him way, though l wasn't mad bit
You must know that the house where /
lived was on one of the back streets of the
town. There were glass doors in the par
lor. which opened right out over the street,
and no balcony nor anything of the kind
in the front of the house. AS it was in
the summer season, these doors were open
and the shutters drawn to. l stepped
back little from him, and when he edged
up close pushed harder than | intended
to, and don't you think, girls, the poor
fellow lost his balance and fell through
one of the doors into the street yes, it's
so. As he fell gave a scream and caught
him-but declare won't tell any more.
Pm going to leave the ROOM" 4--
"No, no, Aunt Sally. How did you
catch him? Did it hurt him much ?'
"Well if must, must. He fell head
first, and as he was going l caught him
by the legs of his trowsers. held on for
minute and tried to pull him back, but
his suspenders gave way, and the poor
young man fell clear out of his pantaloons
into whole parcel of ladies, aud gentle.
man passing along the street"
ooh, Aunty, Auuty, Lordy, Lordy?"
"Thcrc, that's right, squall and giggle
as much as you want to. Girls that can't
hear little thing like that without tearing
around the room, and he being in such a
way, don't know enough to come home
when it rains. A nice time the man who
marrics one Of you will have, won't he !?
Catch me telling you anything again"
"But Aunt Sally, what became of him !?
Did you ever see him again:
"No; the moment he touched the
ground he got up, and left that place in a
terrible hurry. | tell you it was q sight
to Be remembered to see how that man did
run. Father happened to be coming up
the street at the time, and he said he
never saw anything to equal it in his
whole life. l heard others say he did the
fastest running ever known in that part
of country, and that he never stopped or
looked behind until he was two miles out
of town. He sent me note few days
afterwards, saying that the engagement
must be broken off, as he could never look
me in the face again after what had hap
pencd. He went out West, and believe
he is preaching out in Illinois. But he
never married. lie was very modest, and
l suppose he was so badly frightened at
that time he never dared to trust himself
near woman again. That girls, is the
reason never married. ! felt very bad
about it for a long time, for he was a real
good man, and ! have often thought to
myself that we should always have been
happy if his snspcnders hadn't give ray"