The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-06-09

Now is the time to be insured in the
| Washington. Tomorrow the time to en-
Joy it.
FORESIGHT is the right eve of Prudence
and Prudence dictates Life Insurance.
Insure in the Washington.
Life, young man, is only
slippery sheet of ice;
No girl there-lt's lonely;
One girl there ii nice.
Don't beat your carpets" says some
kind hearted person "try kindness and
trmness; and if that don't keep them
down, send for policeman and have them
taken up"
DIR HALL says sponge beds are healthy.
We know a man who has sponged beds.
and even sponged his meals, for five years,
and he isn't so very healthy-except at
meal-times
The buffalo isn't good thing to pas
ture. Put him into pasture and he will
pasture in every other pasture rather than
the pasture you want him to pasture in.
A WOULD BE suicide at Cincinnati was
pulled OF the track before coming train
by railroad man, who warned him
against trying to "muss up the engine in
any such way as that"
AN excellent old deacon, who, having
won fine turkey at charity rattle,
didn't like to tell his severely orthodox
wife how he came by it, quietly remaI k d,
as he handed her the fowl, that the
"Shakers" gave it to him.
THE New Orleans Times thinks the
first object of the Dental Convention,
about to sit in that city, should ne to OK
anime into the condition of the mouth of
the Mississippi-no trifling matter, since
the river has seven mouths, all full of
snags and stumps.
AT a collection made at charity fair
held in -, a lady offered the plate to a
rich man well known for his stinginess
Il have nothing" was his curt reply
"Then take something, sir" she an
swered; you know am begging for the
poor"
A PIoUs but injudicous individual with
set OF stencil plates devoles Saturday
nights, in Waterbury, Connecticut, to po St
ing scrintural questions on the dead wal S.
Working in the dark, he chooses some
queer places. It's apt to destroy the in
tended tffe't, says local paper, to read,
What must do 10 be saved - "Try DR.
Sprague's Female Strengthening l}itters."
vile, Come, come, isn't break fast ready !?
I've had nothing since Yesterday, and to-
morrow will be the third dayi" This is
equal to the call of the stirring house
wife, who aroused her maid at four
O'Clock with "COme, Bridget, get up !
Here It's Monday morning, to morrow is
Tuesday, the next day Wednesday,
the week gone, and nothing done yeti
YOUTHFUL generosity was illustrated in
Albany recently. A little boy, smeared
all over with molasses, came running up
from the river, flourishing dirty shingle,
and screaming at the top of his voice to a
cOmrade: "Oh, Bill Bill get as many
boys and shingles as you can, there's n
big hogsit of 'lasses busted on the pave
ment-busted all to smash !"
A CHEMICAL lecturer, while expatiating
on discoveries in chemical science remark
ed that snow has been found to possess a
considerable degree of heat. An indiviG-
ual present replied that, "truly chemistry
was valuable science and, anxious that
the discovery might be made profitable, he
inquired of the lecturer. "what number of
snowballs would be sufficient to boil tea
kettle"
SAID one student to another, whom he
caught swinging scythe most Justify in
field OF stout grass Frank, what makes
you work for living? A fellow with
your talents and abilities should not be
caught engaged in hard labor. mean to
getm my living by my wits" "WelI, Bill,
you can work with duller tools than | can"
was the reply.
AN instance of distinction without diff
ference was offered by the Irishman who,
having legs of different sizes, ordered boots
to be made accordingly His directions
were obeyed; but, as he tried the smaller
boot upon the larger leg, he exclaimed, in
dignantly: "COniound the fellow, or
dered him to make one larger than the 9TH
er, and, instead of that, he has made one
smaller than the other"
A CERTAIN town near Providence has
an exceedingly considerable man. The
other morning he awOke to find
the opposite house on fire. Par
tally dressing himself he ran across
the street, timidiy ringing his neigh
bor's door bell, and patiently waited for
some one to answer the summons After
little the man of the house" appear, d,
and the timid man said, Il do not wish to
create an unnecessary alarm, but your
house is on fire."
JESSIE WILLIAMS had been doing some
thlng which her mamma had told her she
Nusn't do She had been eating currants,
aud, Of course, got her mouth all stained
that's the way she got found out Mrs.
Williams said, "You know you were for
hidden to eat currants!" "But, mother,
Satan tempted mel" "Why didn't you
say, Get thee behind me, Satan 20" did
say, Get thee behind me, SATAN and he
went and got behind me, and pushed me
right into the Characteristics !"
A FEW days ago, says the London Echo,
a singular instance of mOtherly love was
brought under the notice OF the Sh, field
magistrates The mother of a lad who
stood charged with pocket picking had
come all the way from America to him.
the moment she heard he was in custody
here, and she now produced return
ticket for recrOssing the Atlantic the mo-
ment her unworthy son got liberty. Under
the circumstances, the chief constable
was instructed to Eberate the prisoner on
finding the story told by the mother was
accurate.
A PAPER gives the following reply to
correspondent: There is no stated rulo
for writing love letters You should write
on foolscap paper, and bear on as soft as
you can, using words of such burning love
that they will siZzle on the point of the
pen. 1t IS also advisable to sling in a
bunch of pathOs occasionally, such as
Dearest Augustus love you with love
as large as an elephants; l think OF you
every day, and by and by, when the days
grow longer, l shall II nix of you twice a
day 1t is also well en- ugh to put an ink
blot on the corner, viii the observation,
darling, | kissed this spot or, Il hove a
sigh in this vicinity
THE Barnstable (Mass) Patriot tells a
bird story, which it declares to be true,
thus Captain ID. w. Percival, of this
village, of the bark Sicilian, procured in
Messina, last winter, wild goldfnch,
which he Gagged on board the ship. A lew
weeks ago the bird escaped when off the
Capes of Delaware on the passage from