The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-06-23

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1 would jist like to kno who the
man was,who fust invented tite boots.
He must have been q narrow and
kentrakted kuss. rrrfcgIr-2
Ifhe still lives / hope he haz repent
ed oy hiz sin orig enjoying CRATE ago.
NY oY some kind.
hev been in a CRATE menny tite
!. spots in mi life, but generally could
manage to make them average; but
there IL no snch thing as making
pair ov tite boots average.
. q Yu kant git an average on the pinch
ov a tite boot emmy more than yu kan
on the bite of q lobster.
Emmy man who kan wear a pair of
tite boots, and be humble, and peni-
tent, and not indulge in profane liter
ature, will make a good husband.
!, He will do more than that, he will
do to divide up into several fust klass
husbands and be made to answer for a
whole neighborhood.
Oh! for the pen ov the departed
VIM. Shakespear to write an anethema
: against tite boots, that wonld make
anshunt Rome wake up and howl
agin, az she did once before on a pre-
Il Vious occasion.
Oil for the strength ov Herkules,
to tare into shu strings all the boots
ov creation and skater them to the 8
winds of heaven.
Obi for the butysiof Venus tew
make big foot look hansum without
q tile boot ON it.
Oil, for the psyshunceA of Job, the
Apostle, to nuss tite boot and bless
ii, -andlegen prefer one size smaller
and more pinchful.
Oh! for pair ov boots bigg enufi
for the foot ov a mountain.
I hav bin led into the above assort-
ment ov "Oh's" from having in my
posseshun, at this moment, pair ov
nine boots with pair of eleven feet
in them. z y Disi' s-''-Nt -14
Mi feet are as dogs noze the fust
time he wears mnzzle.
:. think mi feet will eventually choke
the boots to deth. sfs r,f;
I liv in hopes they will. 90
Isuppozed I had lived long enufl
not to be phooled again in this way,
but ], hay found that an ounce ov van.
!. ity weighs more than a pound ov rea.
son, espeshily when man mistakes a
bigg foot for small one.
Avoid tite boots, mi friend, az you
would the grip ov the devil, for many
i a man haz caught for life q fust rate
habitfor swearing by encouraging hiz
feet to hurt his boots.
I have promised mi two feet a
S1east a dozen of times during mi
checcurec life, that they never SHOULD
be strangled agin, but find them to
day az full of pain az the stummuk ak,
from sudden attack of tite boots.
4, 81. "a But this is solemnly the last pair o,
tite boots 1 will ever wear; I will
hereafter wear boots az big az mi fee
if have to go barefoot to do it.
I am too old and too respectable t,
be phooled emmy more. ,:yEr
Eazy boots il one of the luxuries o
life, but forgit what the other luxu
ry il, but I don't kno az 1 care, pro
vided kan git rid ov this pair o
p tite boots. - se..iij,ae +. s.a....s
= Euny man kan have them for sevel
dollars, just half what they kost, an
If they don't make hiz feet axe wus
than an angle worm in hot ashes, h
needn't pay for them.
Methuseles il the only man that
kan kan to mind now who could ha
afforded to hav wore tite boots an
enjoyed them; he had CRATE deal o
waste time to be miserable in, but Lii
new days IL too short and too full o
aksual dizziness to phool away enn
ov it on tite boots. isi5g ialis.ii,
Tite boots are an insult to enn
mans understanding.
he VINO wears tlte boots VIII haV
to acknowledge the corn.
Tite boots have no bowls of mersy
their insides are wrath and promisk
ous kussing.
Beware of titc boots.-Josh Bi
liags.
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- Sneakino of saoacitv IL reminds m