davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
a Trick of tlle Trade.

The excitement and anxiety among those after
Office at the present time reminds us OF "A little
incident that may be given as a caution TO those
who want office very badly. In our own city
not many years ago there were several gentlemen
who wanted n particular office and had the
"want' as severely as mortal could have it,
which is saying considerable when we consider
the Office seekers Of Milwaukee. These gentle
men were considerably disturbed by the fact that
a worthy but most innocent German was after
the same place, and what was more, stood a
chance of getting it. They went TO him and
tried to induce him to leave the track, but no,
he had too good a thing. One day one of the
men went to this German and said
"You are running for such and such an
office?'
'sYaw, does him ~
g But look here, they all say you cannot write
your name. This will not answer. In that
Office a man must be able to write his name, at
least"
The German was naturally very indignant
Who say dat-who tell dat tam he'll fire
Yankee lie-who say no writcs-l make hell
nit him."
GAN say so. Bullock here-this is the way to
settle it--there is pen and nk-now write your
name on this paper and | will show it to the
boys, and they will see that you can write.
The innocent Office seeker did he was re-
quested, and wrote his name in pretty style.
;
"and they will believe what they see"
The poor German went off happy, and counted
upon the nomination. When the vote was de-
clared be did not receive one--not solitary one.
What cid it all mean lie went to see one Of
his pledged friends.
"Vot de hell-fre you does-vot for is dis"
Why" said the other, you have declined
to be a canddate-what are you talking abontY'
"Teclines-I teclines teclines notiugs-l
de blaPp mt al snV mt
now you does like dat. no sees dat"
The delegate hustled about aud soon found
the paper setting forth that he, the German in
question, was thankful for the honors they would
confer upon him, but he declined in favor of his
friend - (who was nominated).
" Look at that, and then tell me you have not
resigned, if you can. Every one knows your
signature and can tell it anywhere"
The poor Office seeker was nonplussed. There
was his signature just as plain as day at the
bottom of declination. He saw it all now.
He had been led into trap as told above, and
now he lost the Office he coveted so much. He
hunted up the man who managed to seduce the
signature out of him and gave him blessing
but the man equal to the task.
I" / did not believe there was so great rascal
in the world" said the man. 1" showed the
signature around and proud to work for Il
man that could write his name SO prettily
Somebody borrowed it to show to friend, and
that somebody has played this joke. 1t is good
joke, isn't itY'
The German failed to see the joke. He
stormed and swore and ripped and tore for fully
a day, and declared that he would never be
caught by any such hell-fre Yankee trick again
and we hope he will not, and we hope too that
none of the Office hunters anxious for a
place will be caught in the same or any like
trap.-NlVauhce Wisconsin.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

AN CNFoRruNATE MIsrAKE.-Mark Twain says
that while stopping recently at the Sherman
house, IN Chicago, he placed in room so
high up that water boiled there at l08 deg; and
although it was destitute Of many of the Injuries
OF comfortable bedroom, he was not sorry he
was sent there, ms il enabled him to oYerhear the
following story told by one friend to another in
an adjoining apartment
" No, sir, she wouldn't marry me. You were
misinformed. 1t was broken of, and in the
sHddest way. ! was not in the least to blame,
upon my word and honor, though neither the
girl nor her father the deacon ever believed or
ever forgaye me. It was during the big election
canvass when Lincoln the first time. Two
ihlrds OF the deacOns honest soul were in re-
lgiOn, aud the other third was in politics.
Lincoln man. ! never was seolier at reli gion
IN my life, but he half believed was. Well,
there was TO be political p0w-wow in the
village church where lie lived on Thursday
night, and he was to preside. / never thought
anything about the matter, but Williams hailed
me one afternoon, offered me seat in his buggy,
and away we started. 1t WAS Wednesday-curse
the almanac ! but we never thought of it.
Going into town, some devilsh instinct put it
into my head that 4 would help my case along if
] marched into church with rail on my
shoulder, seeing that the deacon and the girl
would both be there. So ! got rail, and we
came INTO town shouting and making grand
to-do generally. AS we went by the church
windows caught glimpse of her bonnet and
plenty other bonnets, and ! was happy.
shOuldered my rail and marched in. The house
ful or men and women were all quiet, and the
old deacon was standing up in the altar saying
something. Splendid | went booming up
the aisle with my rail, swinging my hat and
whooping, Hoo-ray for Old Abe Hoo-ray for
the Illinois rail-spitterr But never Il yelp out
Of that audience. quit, right in my tracks.
The deacon said, Sir, were engaged 10 ad-
Il. p1fp 81 .f al,
exhibition is ill-ftted to the solemnities of a
prayer-meetng never felt SO sick in my life,
John. never felt so much like taking walk.
1t was AL up between me and that family"
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
DR.. WiSlar'S BaISam of Wild Cherry,
THE EYES! THE EYFSl
Or. E. H. PAROEE,
OculiSt and AuriSt

A FTER A PROTRACTED BLINDNESS OF
n more than five years, Dr. Pardee has made
himself thoroughly and scientifically acquaint-
ed with all diseases of the Eye, and is now prac-
ticing with success not surpassed in the Uni
ted States.
All operations performed, such as Strabismus,
or cross eye, Cataract by linear extraction, De-
preston or Absorption, Pterygium, or feshy
membrane growing over the eye, Reduction of
Staphyloma, or bulging out of the eye, Artificial
Pupil, Fstula Lachrymalis or closing of tear
passage, and all detOrmities Of the Lids, etc
Artificial Eyes inserted without the least pain,
and possessing all the movements and brlliancy
of the real eye. large assortment constantly
on hand and for sale at reasonable prices. The
Doctors Eye Bath for the treatment and cure of
all nervous diseases is used all over this coast
Thankful to those physicians who have sent
him cases for operations, he hopes that his uni
versal success will warrant a continuation of
their confidence. His celebrity as an operatoris
co-extensive with his success, as patients are
presenting themselves for treatment and opera
tions, from New York and Boston, ,almostIhonth-
y. Many patients be seen at the Doctor s
office daily, in different stages of recovery
Ofiice-737 Clay street, OPPOSITE THE
PLAZA San Francisco. H..
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
FRENCH MEDICAL OFFICE!

TOR OF MEDICINE FACULTY OF PARIS GRADuATEoF TIE
UNIVERSITY QUEENS PscIANoF THE JonN's
BApTsTE SOCIETY," OF SAN Francisco.
DIR. PERRAULT has pleasure to inform patients, and
others seeking confidential medical advice, that he he
consulted daily at his office, "ARMORY HALL" BUILD
ING, Northeast Montgomery and Sacramento
Streets San Francisco Rooms, No o, 10 and IL, first
floor mp stairs from either Montgomery Sac
ramento streets.
DIR. PERRAULTs studies have been most exclusively
voted to the of the various forms of Nervous and Phys
ica Debility the results of injurious habits acquiI
YOUTH which usually terminate in impotence aud stery
and permanently induce all the concomitants OF old age
Where secret nfrmy exists involving the happiness OF
life, and that of Others and morality dictate the
necessity Of its removal for is fact that premature
decline Of the vgor of manhood matrimonial unha
compulsory single life etc. have their in
the of which planted in early c and the bitter
fruit tasted long afterward Patients abong under this
complaint Will complain of OF the following
symptoms: Nocturnal emissions, pains in the back and
head, weakness Of memory and sight discharge the
urehra the stool making WATER the intellectual
ulties weakened loss of memory ensues ideas are
couded, and there is disncnaon attend business
to reading, writing the society oil friends etc
The patient will probably complain dizziness vertigo
by dreams, melancholy, signing, palptatons, ainting g
coughs and slow fever; while some have eXte nal rheu
matte PAIN and numbness of the body. the most
common symptoms pmples in the face and aching in
different parts of the body. Patients suffering from this
disease should apply Immediately to Dir. PERRAuLT Ell
her in person by letter. he will guarantee cure
of Seminal emissions and impotence to eight weeks
Patients suffering from Venerea diseases any stage gon
orrhea geet structures bubo ulcers erupton
etc, will be treated successfully All syphtc and
rial taints entirely removed from the system.
DR. PERKAULTS diplomas are in his office where patients
see for themselves. We invite investigation claim not
to know everything to cure everybody but do claim
that in all taken under treatment fulfill our prom
ses. We particularly request those who have tried this
boosted DOCTOR and that advertised till
and discouraged, to call upon Low charges quick
cures Ladies' suffering from any complaint incidental
THEN consult the Doctor with OF relief
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
FREMONT HOTEL
d AND
s=aE
.Il1 G eneraI Stage Office.
MAIN STREET, RED BLUFF.
w. II. MAYHEM, PROPRIETOR.

WGIE PROPRIETOR WOULD RESPECTFULLY
l. announce to his friends and the travelling
public, that he has leased this wel-known brick
hotel, and will at all times be found ready to
wait upon all those who may favor him with the
light of their conference.-the latch string will
always be out. The table will be supplied with
the best the market affords. The rooms are
large and well ventilated, aud new spring beds
throughout Prices to suit the times.
Stages arrive and depart daily, both north and
south Call and see me-
Red Bluff, April 20, 1870. iG-tf
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
Weekly Grinity 9uurnal.
The Maiden and the millionaire.

Lady Gwendoline Gertrude We're
Is the luyee-t 2ir in all Mayfair.
Her eyes have strange, da h emerald tnSe,
Under the long brown la>hes fringe.
But auher-blight is her woudrous hair;
Her little red mouth has an arch of pride;
She walks the world like Princes bride:
Swift from her htart is her young bloods tide,
And she laughs at love aud she knows not care.
I whispered in that shell-like ear
That for her sweet sake would all filings dare:
thought All surely her young breast throbs. 2,
For my passionate words burst forth like sol,s:
was fierce with dread of great despair
Sweetly, sweetly she smiled on me,
TN light in her eyes full weird to see
And she said, - What fools we should both of us be
mean TO marry milliouaire."
Lady Gwendoline Gertrude We're
is "a very truthful girl, / swear
Yes tlat the man with his stealthy look,
Ana ms dirty hands and his nasal hook.
Aud the Chains ana riug> that a cad will wear
ANA her hir young torn So d.tutiN slim.
ANA her l'etul1nt lips are given to hiuI-
1lal Namiuuh-Wurshipper sly and grim;
laus II! she's married her millionaire.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
bread and Butter.

Tie girl engaged in moulding bread,
Shall make s,Ine sweetheart iintter,
W It'll hope to get that dairy maid
To make his bread and butter.
She may not play the game croquct,
Or French and German stutter.
] I well she knows the curd from whey,
And makes sweet bread and butter
In meal and cream shes elbow deep,
And cannot stop To- butter:
But says if he will SOW aud reap,
She will make his bread aud butter.
The dairy maid the farmers wife,
shall be the toast we utter;
Alone. man lea Is crusty life.
Without good bread and butter.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
FEMALE MONTHLY PILLS.
DR. pERRAULT is the only Agent in California for
Dr.. EriOfS Female M0ntl.ly Pills

Their immense sale has established their reputation as fe
male remedy, unaprruachcd, and tar in every
other medicine for Suppression and Irregularities, and other
distractions in females On the receipt OF Fte Dollars these
pills Will be sent by mail express, to any part of the
world, secure from curiosity o damage.
Persons at distance can be cured at home by addressing
letter to DE. j PAkAULT corner Sacramento Mont.
gomey streets Rooms Nos O. 10 and H. or Box 973 Post
ONCE san Francisco stating tie infinitely possible
general habits of living, occupation etc, etc
All communications confidential. 701y
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
TAKE NOTICE.

THE PUBLIC ARE HEREBY INFORMED
| that have left my books and accounts with
NJ. f. Griffin, at Weayeryile, and constituted
him my agent to settle with all who are indebted
to me- All persons owing me are notified to
come forward and make immediate payment to
him. as must have the money. "a word to
the wise is sufficient"
JOHN JACKSON.
Wc'reryille, February lG, 1870. 7-tf
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

SCENE IN CoRUT WITH STUPID POLICEMAN
Those who are in the habit of attending police
and other courts must have observed the diff
Guilty unGer which the lawyers and Judges labor
sometimes in getting witnesses to testify in legal
form. The following, which took place at a
Cincinnati court last week, is an amusing and
perfect example. A man had been caught in
the act of theft, and pleaded in e4tenuation that
he drunk
Court TO the policeman who was witness y
What did the man say when you arrested him
Witness-IIe said he was drunk
Court want his precise words just as he mt
tered them be didn't use the pronoun he, did
he )? He didn't says she was drunk p
Wtness-Oh, yes, he did he said he was
drunk he acknowledged the corn.
Court (gettng impatient at the witness stu
pidity) )-You don't understand me at all | want
the words he uttered them didn't he say,
~ was drunk"2
Witness (deprecatingly )-Oh, no, your honor.
He didn' say y0u was drunk wouldn't allow
any man to charge that upon you in my pres
ence.
Presecutor-Pshaw, you don't comprehend at
all. His honor means, did not the prisoner say
to yon, ~ was drunk"
Witness (reheetively) We'll, he might have
said goa drunk, but didn't hear him.
Attorney for the prisoner-What the court de-
sires is to have you state the prisoners own
words preserving the precise form of pronoun
that he made use of in reply. Was it the first
person, the second, thou or the third per-
son, he, she or it Now, then, sir with sever
ity), upon your oath, didn't my client say, 81
was drunk p
Witness (getting mad No. he didn't say you
was drunk either but if he had, | reckon he
wouldn lied any. Do you 'spOse the poor
fellow charged this whole court with being
drunk
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

any dear" said A rural wife to her husband
on his return from town, 'w hat was the sweet
est thing you saw 10 h0nnets in Baltimore ~
The ladies faces, my love-
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

lOllS contamination unlu
they were painfully anlicng, have been radically
cured IN such great numbers in almost every sec
ton OF the country, that the public scarcely need
be informed OF its virtues or uses.
Scroiuous poison is of the most destructive
enemies OF our race. Often, this unseen and unclt
tenant oi thc organism tndermnes the constitution,
and invites the attack Of cnieeblng or fatal Diseases
Without exciting suspicion OF its presence. Again,
then on some favorable occasion raDidly develop
mto one or other of its hideous forms either the
surface among the vitals In the latter tuber-
Gles may be suddenly deposited in the lungs or
heart, or tumors formed in the liver, or it shows
la presence by eruphons ON the skin, foul ulcer
atoms ON some part of the body. Hence the occa-
slonai use of bottle of this SarsapariTIa is adj
vsabe, even when no active symptoms of disease
appear. Persons afflicted with tile following com
plants generally find immediate relief, and, at
length, cure, by the use of this SARS1PIRIL-
-: ~. IIdHOHU'S EiTe, Rose EIYJsilJeI0s,
IettcF, SAT- RheHn', ScaId Hedd, RiEg,r0rm,
S0re Eyes, Sore Ears, and other eruptions
@ visible forms OF Sc'ot"fo"s disease. Also in the
HeaH Disc0ae, Eifs, Enicrsy, Ne"rofgi0,
@ ana the various CtceFo"s affections Of the muscu-
lar ana nervous systems
SUphHiS or TcHeFedt and MercHriaI Diseases
are cured by II, though a long time is required for
subduing these obstinate malades bv any medicine.
Iiul long continued use of this medicine will
the complaint LeHcOrFhGd or Whites, uterine
UIcp1Wfi0hs, and Ecu,0Ie Djse0ses are com
monty soon relieved and ultimately cured by its
purifying and nVigoraling effect. Minute Drec-
tl9ns for each case are found in our Almanac, sup
pHed grains. Rheumatism and GOHt, when
caused by acCumulations of eNtraneous matters
N the blood yield quickly TO it, as also LireF
'""P"bt", IO|Pt"fU' C0HGeSttOl4 or IIIfdW-
M"tt"H nI the LirtF, and JG"ldice, when arising
as they often do, from the ranking poisons in the
blood. This S-1ES.ITIRILLI is a great re-
storer for the strength and vg0r of the system
ihose VINO are L0HUaid and LiStfeSS, Desp0h-
de"t' Scepfess, and troubled with Nervous .lp-
1TcheHst0nS or Fears, or any Of the affections
symptomatc of WeakHess, will find immediate
relef and convincing evidence of its restorative
power upon trial.
PREPA REDBY
Dr. q. G. AVER IL CD Eoweu Mass,
Practical ami An0Iytical chemists.
SOLD by ALL DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE.
Sold by all druggists dealers in medicine eyefy""
CRANE x BRIGHAM,
35-1y Wholesale Agents San Francisco
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

A QUANDIARY.-A bachelor and young lady
bought some tickets in partnership in IL lottery
at the recent fair at Milwaukee, agreeing to d-
vide profits equitable. They drew double bed
stead, baby-crib, and a lunch-basket, and the
question is, how to divide them, or whether
they shall use them a" jintly"
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
Consultation FEEE.
CAUTION TO THE UNroRTUyATE

NNI IIUN 10 TTIE UNI VTT TNNT Z.
Beware Of the san Francisco quacks and pretcnlcr wlo
with bogus sworn certificates GHpe the unWary Uf
the sctsylcd doctors whose to be found
daily and weekly new Hpers Of SHn Francisco and otbp
places are Hdcsmen aud became too lazy to wor at their
Hics. Some tiusHiths. slocHH newspaper cati
intelligence office Keepers &c Look the san Francisco
Drectoy aud you Will NOT hud their Medical Institutes
H. but you VIII nnd their former occupation in it, look
the Directory for 1867 and 1868 The only avoid
position is to make nquryit will cost you nothing, and
may save you many regrets for, advertising physicians
eight cases out o ten bogus there safety in trusting
any Of theII until you know who and what they Dr.
dihhon does not deceive people by exhibiting bogus titles
ccruhtaca pretended patients Letters Sc Dr. Gihhon will
satisfy persons who lay call at his offices of his ability 20
treat diseases that he proposes to cure.
Consultation FREE
Correspondents will please inform Dr. Gibhon that they
read his adv ertscment in the Trinity Journal. 15l2y.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
THE LATEST DISCOVERY.
Nj l. ID G a ITO N
VUFGDFATDIFFICUIT
DIR. ERASMUS WINsLOW's


LIVER AND STOMACH LOZENGE
is the most important medical novelty that modern chem
iry has produced. 1t contains two botanical extracts
ectly harmless themselves. but emboying all the remed
m properties of mercury and destined in this pleasant
to supercede and Danish from general use the nauseous pills
and putOns of which that dangerous is the
gredient. More than thousand experiments made
by the inventor of this peerless remedy before IL brought
its present Of perfection The Lozene is harmless
in its operation and although the medical taste of its
tive components has been etxnguhed by chemical their
virtues remain ) active and potent
la Dyspepsia BliOusness Constipation Sick Nervous
Headache Piles Dropsy and the irregularities which the
eebes subject the LoIenges will be found infinitely
effective than any of the horrible and disgusting
pounds usually administered in such As anth-
ous specific aud general apereut they have equal either
amoug advertised preparations the ptOus of the
regular pharmacop0'ia.
DE- II is guaranteed that who has tried DR..
Eaasmls WinslOWs Liver and Stomach 0zeuge will
Tgain take purgatiye JWder, on draueht. uill.
KEDBiNGfON, llOSTErrER co.
silly Agents foI Pacific Coast
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

TEN CENTS worth Of Chicago whisky is said to
make man oblivious to all earthly things.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

Established in 1854, for the tr...
ment of Sexual and Seminal dis,n'.''t'
such as Gonorrhea, elect. Strictmyrs'
Syphilis in all its forms, Seminal w.
ness, Impotency, etc. Skin disco,cs|1Nc,
years standing and liberated Legs sro ro'
cessfully treated. 9'''"c-
DOCTOR GIBB0N has the pleosrro
Of announcing that he has retnrncd' re- e
this State. after an absence of one ,aa. ~
during which time he has yisito1 "i;
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
Ayers Sarsaparilla,
FOR FUEIFEIXG TEzE I3ECCLD.
The reputation this cN

INC ropuIatiOn ihis CN-
ccilpnt medicine enjoys,
j derived from its cures,
many of which are uuly
marvellous. iuNCtVNe
cases Of Scrofulous al
ease, where the system
seemed saturated with
corruption, have been
purilied and cured by it,.
SCrOlulous affections and
disorders, which were ag-
graVated by the scTOlll-
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23

Why is young lady from IA boarding school
like a building committee? Because she is
ready to receive proposals for consideration.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
afledital.
TO THE UNFORTUNATE !
rEK RENEDLES! VIEW REMEnLrc,

Private entrance on Commercial street,
SAN FRANCISCO,
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-12-04

Speculation has commenced on the
great contest for the Saratoga Cup of next
year, Notwithstanding the entries for the
race have not yet been made. The West
EN- aud the Eastern turf have each its
equine champion John, Harper's bay colt
Longfellow, proclaimed in Kentucky to
be Leamington's greatest and best son,
being the representative o. the former,
and A. BalmOnt's grand colt, Kingisher,
by Lexington, of the latter. B tn horses
will be tour years cid next eeason, and
both have highly distinguished them.
selves in their three year old careers.
Kingfsher won the Belmont and
Travers Stakes, the Champion and
Annual Stakes at Jerome Park and
Sa-at "a, and three-year old stakes at Bal
Imore. His only defeat was by En-
quirer at Ling Branch, at which time he
had Only rycen ly come into the hands of
his present able trainer, Jacob Pincus,
aud lie had not had him long enough To
get him thoroughly tit for a severe two
mile heat race. Since then, the horses
career has been one continued series of
triumphs, and the easy style ia which be
cut down his Oppon ms ia the Champion
Stakes at Jerome Park, and gall0ped
away from MILDLY at Baltimore, con-
WINGED the public that he was one of Lex
ingtOn's greatest sons. LongfeilOw, Ike
RIngfisher, never ran at two years old,
but he has won a!l~his engagements this
season in splendid style, at all distances,
beAting first class horses. He is The
equin- idel Of Kentucky, and his owner,
old John Harper, q man of vast racing
experience, believes him to be invincible
at two miles or over. He trains him him
self, and, although he has a. proverbial
dislike for leaving home, he has de-
Ciared his Intention of deserting the blue
grass region of Kentucky for a time, and
of bringing himself and Longfellow East
next season TO throw down the gauntlet to
the entire AmsTiCan turf with his rapid
son of bennington. Negotiations are
pending for the purchase of L1ngf. How
by new accession to the turf, q New
York millionaire, who has taken high
honor5 in yachting circles, and Is now
ambitious to distinguish himself III the
turf. Should Longfellow become his
property, and join the powerful stable that
he is forming, we shall witness in the
race for tie Saratoga cup of next year 8
turf contest which will rival if not sur.
pass in intense and widespread interest and
excitement that of Lexington and LIE
Comte, Henry and Eclipse, or the more
recent anticipated contest between Ken.
lucky and Asteroid.-N Y Tribune.