The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1870-01-13
All Sorts.


/ Frederick g. Cozzens, the well-known au-
thor, was buried on Monday of last week.
Can people who indulge in smoking as well
| as drinking be called tobacchanalians.
i A young Kentuck an has married his grand
mothers sister, His CHILDREN will be his I'M
lcles and aunts.
1 A young lady, who has been studying fl
nance for some time past, wishes to know
whether the day rate of gold affects the nj
trate of silver. ssss A
j Letters, like fashionable young ladies, must
/ have the stamps before the malls (males)wili
take them.
! A Bostonian visiting Omaha paid $500 for
red mule, supposing 1T was genuine buff
falo bull. q ~
The United States mail has been robbed
twice SINCE Christmas between Cheyenne and
| Denver.
i Tom Thumb has sued the American Express
ICompany for a lot of photographs of himself,
lost in transportation. III gsFr na~e
A man who served four days on jury, says
HE is so full of law that it is hard work for
| him to keep from cheating somebody.
A little girl sent out to hunt for eggs came
1back unsuccessful, complaining that : lots of
hens were standing around doing nothing.
General BADEAU has resigned the post of
Secretary of Legation at London, and is back
at the White House at work on the second
volume of his Life of Grant.
Some of the strong minded women de-
nounce matrimony. because, they say, there
is something childish in it,
A gentleman recently went from Detroit to
the Far West. met Lo, the poor Indian, and
came back with his scalp in his pocket s-
I A southern paper announces that nothing
but red neckties are now worn, which must
be rather cool costume for this season, even
at the South. 'aA"FN 's'2
/ "IfI catch you at this again, p" yelled an
lexasperated farmer at a boy whom he had de
tected stealing the fruit, but failed to catch,
1" I'll shut you up in my ice house, and-and
warm your jacket for you,you young vaga-
bond y"
| From the latest reports, the war in Para.
| quay is at an end, and Lopez and his family
have fled to Bolivia.
A notorious confidenc man named Orr, who
claims to be a. relative of Gov. Hoffman, OF
New York, has been arrested in St. Louis.
| A Tennessee girl in order to make sure thing
of it, allowed two young men to take out
Ilicence to marry her.
! On recent night. the door knockers of
200 houses ih London were stolen by a band
| OF boys on !" lark. "
| Alexander Dumas. Sr', is now engaged in
dramatizing the 'Trauppman murder.
| DIR. Nelaton says that riding on horseback
for more than fifteen minutes may lead to the
| sudden death OF the Emperor Fapolean.
| Mrs. DR. Mary Walker had fuss in Kansas
lately with conductor, about her fare, Mary
called the official "dirty, sinking man."
and then paid the money, quite satisfied in
her own mind that she had come off victorious.
The Princess Matilde Demidoff has in her
service a young footman, named Andre Dur
ival, who was formerly Lieutenant In the I'm
perial Guard, and who is now reported to be
the lover of Her Imperial Highness. '0 81
A letter received by young Lopez, from
his father in Paraguay, warns him against
crediting any reports of his flight. Lopez, Sr.,
writes that he is maintaining himself success
| fully, and will die on his native SOIL, n 81
The son of an Ex-Governor of Western
lState ap1 now Yale College student, was
fined $50 Iva the New Haven Police Court,
Thursday, for breaking street lamp. and
will probably also be expelled from College.
| Mems lives should be like the day, more
beautiful in the evening, or like the summer
aglow with promise, and the autumn rich
with golden sheaves, where good works and
deeds have ripened on the field, 4
| A st, Louis court has decided that a COM
mission merchant, taking the benefit Of the
bankrupt act, is not rilieved from liability
| for goods sold by him on commission.
A little girl in Ogdensburg, NY, said she
saw her absent grandfather standing at her
bedside Facts subsequently ascertained
showed that the old man died violent death
in a storm on the lakes, at the moment the
! girl believed she saw his person. rs - - -
/ The San F Francisco Bulletin says Mrs. Cum
ningham, of the BurdeH murder notoriety,
has beenfor years living in California, con-
stantly seeking deserve the confidence and
respect of al who know her.
A lady noticed boy sprinkling salt on the
sidewalk, to take off the ice, and remarked
Ito a friend, pointing to the salt. /" Now that
is true benevolence. mo, itain't, I" said the
boy; tits salt" r@s@g
A White Pine, Nevada, paper is in ecstacies
over an importation of Chicago turkeys and
geese, and wakes eloquent over one 8 sturdy
| gander - who yielded a quart of '' goose
grease All the others yielded up the ghost.
An Iowa editor records avery prompt ar
rival of the mail in their town one day.
welt chased tide NAH carrier about four miles
The editor wants the government to put
wolves on all the routes.
Gen. Grant has made reduction in the
Government Offices at Washington under his
administration of SIS, 000,000a year. How does
that sound for extravaganza
The paragraph goir g the rounds that little
Minnie Warren was dangerously i'll, is said
to have grown out of funny remark of a
i Call1Ornla paper LnaJ sne was SO Sh0TC that
she could not live long. %Rfkgt@A
A lawyer in Bangor, Me-. who wanted to
get his Christmas turkey cheap, selected one
and inquired Of the gentleman from the rural
districts if was young, and being answered
in the affirmative, asked him if he would take
his oath of it. Nothing 10th, the poulterer as
sented. and the oath was administered by the
sprg of the law, who then demanded one dol
lar for his fee.
Fireproof furniture is the latest scientific
announcement in Germany 1t is said that
81 nntiraoc dor