Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-03-04
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
DREssEs-Baby clothes.

How to fire and fall back-get a gur
that kicks.
EVERY bird pleases us with its lay
especially the hen.
THE foundry for casting shadows is 10
Gated in the sun.
No farmer can plow field by turning
it over in his own mind.
SANTIAGO being Chill town, ought tt
be nice burg.
The most impetuous people IN The
world-The Rush-ons.
HINT to Loyer-To succeed as suit
or, you must suit her well.
EVERY Director is interested in thu
success of the Washington Life OF New
York.
DINNER for nothing is very good fun
but you can't say as much OF nothing To-
dinner. @.it'J aaf -ot -9. .3-
DEpREDATIoNs on the males-search
ing husbands pockets while they are
sleeping.
. PoND MAMMA" And what would
Johnny do if poor mamma were to die?
Johnny" Eat up all the sugar, "-Judy
THE story of man who had nose SC
large that he couldn't blow 1t without Tine
use Of gunpowder is said to be hoax.
A LEWISTON man says that if ever he
builds house he will have folding doors
They're so handy in case of funeral j.
THE Esquimaux say: "A man who
has three wives in this world is sure Of
heaven in the next" He ought to fine
peace somewhere.
A BOSTON writer, IN alludlng to the
musical taste of the Hub, says: "Oui
ears have been cultivated till they over
shadow our other organs"
THE Washington Life-its growth has
been steady, its success marked, It's sys'
tenn Of business pre-emlnently adapted TO
benefit the policy holders
WHAT bird is that which is absolutely
necessary that we should have at our din
ner, and yet need neither be cooked mol
served up? A swallow.
WHAT is that word in the English Ian
guage, of one syllable, which, if two let
tiers be taken from it, becomes a word O.
two syllables Plaque (Ague).
ALL the business houses at Sitka
Alaska, have succeeded in getting in theil
ice, and the crop is said to be very fine
almost q quarter ola mile thick.-Detr0a
Free Press.
HORACE WALPoLE tells a story OF
Lord Mayor of London in his time, who
having heard that friend had the small
pox twice, and died of it, asked if he dice
the first time or the second.
A TAVERN boaster the other day, vaunt
ing his knowledge of the world, was asked
by wag at his elbow if he had been in
Algebra ooh yes" said he, II once
passed through it on top of stage"
TEACHER" Boy at the foot of the class
spell admittance." Boy" Admittance
admittance." Teacher" Give the defini
ton" Boy" Fifty cents, children hal
price; front seats reserved for the ladies'.
THE entire alphabet is found in these
four lines. They form pleasant stanzs
for child to learn:
God gives the grazing OK his meat
He quickly hears the sleeps low cry;
But man, who tastes His finest wheat,
Should joy to lift His praises high.
A PROMISING young shaver of five OF
six years was reading his lesson at school
one day, in the deliberate manner fol-
which urchins Of that age are somewhat
remarkable. AS he proceeded with his
task he came upon the passage, "Keep thy
tongue from evil and thy lips from guile. ,
Master Hopeful drawled out, " Keep-thy
-tongue-from - evil -and-thy-Gps-
from-girls." s% 5ff@
A WESTERN undertaken sent the follow.
ing entertaining note to sick man
"Deor Sr.-Having positive proof that
you are rapidly approaching deaths gate
I have therefore thought it not imprudent
4 Ill oft 70 tha al Cd
vertisement of my abundant stock Of
ready-made collins, and desire to make
the suggestion that you signify to your
friends wish for the purchase Of your
burial outfit at my establishment"
A LONDON paper recently hurt the feel
ines of an artist by saying that his picture
had "too much lochre in it'a AS the
painting was twilight scene, partially
grey in color, the artist saw a chance to
read the critic lesson, which, he. did by
advising him to learn something about
colors before he undertook art criticism.
"There was no ochre whatever in my
picture" wrote the indignant artist. The
critic, knowing that soft answer turneth
away wrath, replied that the "ochre" he
meant was medi-ochre.
AN anecdote is told of a distinguished
bald-headed man who was not very quick
at repartee. A lady who was joking him
about the white bare spot so much like
the Arctic regions, on his poll, suggested
that he should be sure and attend the bal
dopsra which was soon to come off, and
made other remarks quite as unpleasant
to sensitive man. With, a sigh, and
looking directly at her, he said,: my
dear lady, it is much better to be bare
than empty" ooh, yes" she quickly
responded, "you are correct; but how
uncomfortable to be both !"
AN enthusiastic friend of the Elgin
Watch, dealer in Usage, Iowa, thus de-
livers himself in blank verse. The Poem(?)
is quite literary curiosity:
OF all the Watches
In the world,
l like the Egin Watch the best.
For that has stood
The Railroad mems
Most rigid test.
In freezing North,
Or burning South,
It's always just the same;
Or in the pocket of
Some engineer
Upon the lightning train.
All Europe stand amazed
TO see . ur work, how
Noble, true, and grand;
And say farewell,
Old Switzerland,
And all our. works by hand.
Now when you have read
These verses over and don't think
This is spealer,
just give j. c. Moreland
An early call,
And see fve-ounce-G. NJ Wheeler.