Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1870-09-16

to get me q crntch. at Detroit, which,
added to my good Pee Dee hickory helped
me along. The accident was this. was
walking up Superior street, looking at
everything, when z In /" pointed out to
me the superiority Of the watering carts "
to those I. had seen in your city. felt
rather badly about it, and asked the driver
to stop and let me see how it was con
structed, which he kindly consented to do.
I went under the machine and found that
it was cistern instead of q square body,
and the jets to let the water out were semi
circular instead of straight. l. b ads just
satisfied myself on these points and had
started to come out when "a" In," very IN
nocently supposing I was clear, as he as
serted on honor, waved to the driver and
said "go ahead" which he did at once,
but as he started he opened the valve, and
in an instant was wet to my skin, soaked,
I might say, and rolling in the mud. /
arose in quite ''b bad pickle. y. If i had
slid down the red bank Of Pee Dee in a
thunder sho yer I could not have been worse.
Ny trunk, by mistake, had been checked
to Detroit, and had to cross Lake Erie
that night in d gale without change of
clothing Next morning could hardly
hcbble up to the Hotel. GIN said So it
was only square or two" but I think it
must have been two miles. I grunted for
several days there, and finally came down
here. Yesterday as was hobbliug along
Pine street, 1 came upon sign, !" DIR.
Leito," rheumatism, Neuralgia, aud all
pains cured, or no pay" So after looking
at it awhile, I concluded to try and get
clear Of these pains. I went in and asked
for the Doctor, smart servant girl told
me to enter the parlor, which I did, and
she pointed to the doctors diploma, which
she asked me to examine; being printed in
Latin, could not make much out of it.
Then she showed me some certificates of
wonderful cures performed by Dr. Lelto
by the patent polaric caloric - machine,
besides pic ures Of most woebegone look
, ing individuals, who entered one side of a
box perfectly distorted, and came out on
, the other side as grand and glorious in
manly and womanly beauty as Adam and
. Eve. I rejoiced that had found SO great
! a doctor. She then left me with the assur-
ance that the doctor would be with me as
, soon as some other patients were gone
In about half an hour the door opened and
J lady dressed in the height OF the prevail
, ing fashion, covered with blazing jewelry,
with silk dress founced to the last degree,
and the usual chignOn, with three sweet
little escaped curls dangling down near her
ear. came in, making e most majestic
courtesy introduced herself as DR.. Leito,
as nv service. Now, Major, I felt better
at once. I rose aud made polite bow,
leaving ciutch aud stick Oh the sofa, but
: it wrenched ne terribly; smiled and as
, sured her had bat slight twinge in my
: shoulders, which I was sure she could cure
, in few minutes. " Walk into the labor
! ato1y Mr.. Blossom SO went UP stairs
after her, but the hand rail cracked, held
8 so hard. She took me to q little room in
, one corner (it was about the size of those
, little rooms IL the corner of the railroad
cars) which she opened and I looked in.
3 In the centre vas what appeared to be 9
: copper stool On metal legs, then there we're
: two other copper foot stools, and vile
! running through the ceiling at the side.-
. "Strip," said she-which L did until
+ came to a state where my modesty begar
to make me halt ''What do you hesitate
e for % said She 81 m the Doctor" ''There
are no secrets from the Doctors" I still
hesitated, when she threw me O towel
{, which [ used as Eve did the fig leaf, anC
: at her command, stepped into the little
t room. After 1 was seated she shut down
! plank on each side like the drop leaf o
" B. table, which fitted close round my neck
= and lett me like fellow with his head il
q the stocks, then she slid large bolt jus
Il in front of my face on top, snatched no!
|. fig leaf-no, my towel away-pusled
s lighted kerosene lamp under the stool
II shut the door and left me. Oh Major
@ the agonics OF that hour can never be des
e cribed by mortal poE or tongue
= In O few seconds the plate on whicl
If l sat was hotter than hot rosin-
# jumped and hollerod, [ screamed
IF 7 cried murder; police police !! !! pc
! lice /! =! - at the top Of my voice. VIVA
st pared for such emergencies. might q
# well have been six miles under ground, j
:. the cave of Kentucky. I could not Ii
a. my body one-eighth of an inch. woul
"a have given my Pee Dee plantation for on
J. quarter of an inch play. Just then, TO
e. my feet began to jump and kick. Whe
a, I called them to lift me, found them sue
of denly jerked away, and then realize
N that a strong galvanic battery was playin
IN through 10Y feet and legs, and they wei
20 cutting fearful antics on their own accoun
n. When my voice failed for very hoarsenes
r. threw my head forward to see If [ coul
I'd not butt the door open. My eye can
,e fright opposite the key hole, and there
b. saw a sight that almost made me ma'
n. There sat that fellow 6 In" on the sof
"a smoking cigar, while his right arm W
ne laid round the Doctors waist, and hear
an them laughing and chatting, in great al
parent satisfaction to themselves, abo1
ia something that seemed amusing. L hear
n ''In p" say "what COMPOUNDED old fool
til or words to that effect but he solemn
nv assures me that it was not applied to N
ot I continued to groan and halloo for VIII
,st must have been many hours. My linn
*. played all sorts of antics under the boar
al [ tried to seize the bolt with my teeth. al
he was IN O s1ate OF sWoonlng despair "n
air the Doctor tnreW open the door, ana ask
ON how felt. How could I describe how
av felt? thanked her I felti go much bt
eft. ter if she would take the collar off
Ipt thought [ could walk to the hote
Ie- and told her would 81;