Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1870-07-22
HulllOr.

The Lady of Lyons lioness.
High pitch Earring the roof
Every fox praises his own tail.
Waste of co|ors-I Ladies blushing I'm.
seen.
The bump of destructivenes' railway
collision.
Galloping Consumption -Dinner at rail-
road restaurant .r
An old saw newly fled-Straws show
which way the fluid flows.
When does a farmer act with rudeness
towards his corn When he pulls its ears.
To remove stains from character-get
rich
When women come to sit In the jury box
possibly infants may get to be crcrs in
courts.
The last thing from an impassioned lover
to his mistress-Would you were an excla-
nation point and parenthesis o.
Game is said to be plentiful along the line
of the Pacific Railroad particularly euchre
and seven.up
4 Kansas woman weekly fagellates her
husband, and then locks herself in the par
lor and sings. Nearer, my God. to Thee
The difference between a country and a
city greenhorn' is, that the one would like
to know everything, and the other thinks
he can tell him.
A chandler having lad come candles sto-
len. person babe him be Of good cheer.
'for in short time they will all come to
light
A politician who recently returned from
Washington, in reply to question as to
where be had been, replied: II have been
after Office, and got the refusal Of it.
A mother had repeatedly called her little
son to come and say his prayers, as it was
bedtime. Finally he stopped his play and
said, whats the matter, mamma, Is God
in hurry?
4 tipsy sailor spent some time in examin-
ing cane bottom chair, and then said -
Dang my buttons, but it was a cute fellow
that twisted that cane around all them little
holes
A boy was lately asked by his teacher
vino first bit the applet 10 which he re-
piled:
I don't know, but I guess it was our
Sal, for she eats green apples like thunder.
A traveller who has crossed the Atlantic
tells story Of storm, when the rain came
down in such torrent that the ocean rose
ten inches There's no mistake said he
besides the Captain kcpta mark on the side
Of the vessel
Alta public sale Of books in London,
'Drew's Essay on Souls was knocked down
to shoemaker, who, to the great amuse-
ment of the assembly, asked the auctioneer
If he had any more books on shoemaking
to SELL
A learned young lady, the other day.
astonished the company by asking for the
loan OF diminative argenteous, truncated
cone, convex on its summit, and semiper.
forated with symmetrical indentations. She
wanted thimble !
Miss said a gentleman proffering his
arm and umbrella to lady in shower,
permit me to be your beau Thank you
foryour politeness,' was the reply, and as
have plenty of fair weather beaux I will
call you my rain beau.
Il can't speak in public never done
such thing in all my life. said chap the
other night at public meeting, who had
been called upon to hold forth "but if
anybody in the crowd will speak for me,
RI hold has hat.
SooTH1NG.-"To the parent whose son
dies in infancy" says the Louisville Jour-
pal, there must be something peculiarly
soothing in the thought that, no matter
what may be the fate of the child in the
next world, it can never become member
Of base ball club in this"
A man with four wives was brought be-
fore Dutch Justice for commitment on
charge Of bigamy. -Four viyos. exclaimed
the the astonished Hans, four wives -? dat
vas most hiuocous crme Dischareh him
at yonst.' 'Whyy protested the prosecutor,
why discharge him when the proof ia posi-.
siye? Will the Court explain? YES.
eekspiains. of ne Iilf nit four wives, he
got punishment enough. | lif NIT Won and
L got too much punishment already
A VENERABLE OLD AGE.-The following
from one who. was thar, is vouched for by
hn-That is, that the old lazy made the
reply gives here, not that she was quite as
old as she claimed: When the Fifteenth
Pennsylvania Cavalry entered the town of
Dawson, Georgia, in the Spring of 1866 |
among those who welcomed them was ne
gro woman whose appearance denoted ex-
tremc old age. Impelled by curiosity, one
OF the "boys" rode up to her and asked,
g How old are you, auntie ?" Well, !
chit', E" she replied II don't 'zactIy lnow
hov old I is. but was here when Clumbus
ome:"-Lippincot's Magazine,
The Little Corporal is responsible for the
following.
At one of our neighbours houses was
very bright little girl It CHANGED once that
they bad as guest a minister, an esteemed
friend. Little Anna watched him closely,
and finally sat down behind him and began
to draw on her slate.
What are you drawing Anna p asked
the clergyman.
Use maxim your pietue. answered the
child
So the gentleman sat very still, and she
worked away earnestly for a while. Then
stopped, compared her work with the origi-
nal and shook her little head.
Il don't like it much ? she said faint
great deal like you. I dess I'll put tail
20 it and tall it dog Fancy his feelings.