New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-10-30
Local Intelligence.

ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY AND
STUNNING REPORT THEREoS.-A lady,
which her name it is Callicot having been
possessed of movable property-househOld
chattels, which by some, lncOmprehenslble
to the outsider, process were in the posses
sion of another female party Of the name OF
Parker. and in such condition that the first
party preferred an imaginary value III cur
rency to the goods themselves. SHIT was
brought by the party Callicot against the
party Parker for the SUN OF twenty-s!N
dollars, tie alleged value Of said chattelS.
Justice Sadler held the scales Of justice,
and became so bewildered with the asseFcl-
atoms and counter asseverations of the Ca
Iicot-parker parties that lie brthonght him
to clear OFF the mist a little by appointing
an appraiser to value the articles III .Gltc'-
ton. which he did, selecting a wel-known
limb of the law. The appraiser performed
his duty. and wished to make a verbal re-
port. but Justice Sadler would not hear OF
such g loose proceeding. He wanted full
written report, and he got it. as viii oe seen
below.
After reading the report seventeen times
=, was enlightened to such supe.laIiNe
decree that he didn't understand what was
understandable before, and that which was
not clear before. became deeply hidden
mystery. Finally he made bewlidered
dash and dccreed that the hOTor-strcl"n
Calicot should take the property as it stood.
or lay. rs the case might be, thus clearing
Of
most miserable woman. Here il the report:
The undersigned, having been appointed
bv +his honorable court an expert. to in
oilirc into the value Of the property sued
for in the above entitled cause, bc9s lcaFe.
rndpr oath. to report the value OF sad
property. as suggested 10 him. after care
I'M. earnest and conscientious survey and
, iuspccti0n Of the same.
Il or about the hour of seven O'Clock. OF
the befoggcd and murky morning OF the
tWeptv-s:xth of October, 1870, this dcponent
arose from his chaste and virtuOus couch.
and with his gigantic intellect absorbed
with tie contemplation OF the portehtous
duty he was about TO perform. silently
wendell lis misty way toward the pal2tial
residence. wherein abided the aSgrieVed de-
PENDANT herein Mrs. Parker. so-calied: the
said lady quickly obeyed the fierce sum
mons Of this deponent by opening one OF
the MAGNIFICENT portals of the ediiicc. front
inc on that creme de la creme OF DooIe-
wards. ycept the Rue du BASIN D'Po-
nent was ushered into the noble mansion
with all the majesty the aforesaid Iafkci
could command who then and there, With
ont respect to the race, color, OF previous
condition Of this depOnent. exhibited 10 'Li'
deDonents astonished vision. the hI'terlE
controverted chattels. Yea, there they lay
before this deponents amazed anu ne
wildered Gaze. lamentable heap, al Wo
f,T 49,,
deed they 1.-THE chatteis) seemed 50 instinct
with living. sen ticnt EHoWfe69e OF theIi
degradation that | almost thought So"
item mare!
Fearing to pollute my, disital purity nS
contact with the repellant mass, peg,
shaded. or rather commanded, the aioresai '
Parker to exhibit 10 me, piece by piece, 'ht
tattered and battered trophies.
First. inspected with all the grace anc
dignity Of IA naturalist savan that Which l.
usually called a mattress. but Nhlch pOctI'
fancy might easily have conjurcd INTO a @i0"
inrr couch whereon in halcyon days when ar
was trumps some unwashed and falici
heauty had reposed her faded form. .lN
we'll known mathematical genius PEN:
called into action. and reasoning 1o'F''''
concluded that perhaps some 1oflofh an,
destitute representative Of the hlteentl
amendment might possibly, after haVint
listened to the persuasive eloqutncc
- be induced to part with on
dollar for that identical mattress proNiur'
bn were allowed to make partial payment
On the same, with credit OF SIX month";
fine residue of the money, aitct th5 4'i'
navment. to bear no interest.
Next were some dirty rags, "hcn "i'
6igni+ind in the plaintiff bill by Inc tltie
Gsl,i,ts" It would be Work OF SUPER y
cation. and a decided waste ana ahiIiln'
fi0n of ink and paper. to attempt Il foI II
delineatiOn of the present nouIIlui w, 49,
!,
ments: suffice it TO say that age hat.
shoin them Of their youthful sEinhieliS
and the shape. color and entirety that XII
them once Shall know them no more ioi
ever. / sadly suggested 10 the Iarhef .
reIioiously donate them to the 1ifai "a ?
man that CHANGED to pass her hospllapi
door. and. il he accepted her dlslhtefeSte'
,yi+t to utter a benedictlon upon his mead
Next were the blaDhets-and here lei NE
Gov Woe be to the daring man who Woul'
attempt to brave the winds OF Caucasian o
a-v other winter, with no othcr protection
for his guivering form 'nan In"so san, S"iiL
hIankets. They are, may the court please
p4;oIiv- simmer blankets, being g0l
essolI I@ a,.ohroidered by celebrated moths
So rats Ell id OD'ne 9cl,hS lncy TN
1In,ii,otsl have. undoubtedly, dohe III
ST. some service" but the SloTE VI thc1
a. hath fled-the gaEallus % tnsn Va !;
aJ sere and withered, ana never isi -
are &C. :. one of woman born en1oid IN
snaLl Of the Deity" within their hole-N
rii, As stood gazing upon thcir ie''iI ~
iolus ,e,,ts I could not but ponder upon III
fragm1en'7m ntabiity and restlessness of MOI
tai things ,,,,.1,et respectfnlly refe
AS Ig ,n and all other am ious lnqulrers
70 the myriad tia in ass shops Gr e1s might eas
u tne cpp;oIed into parting with spanklug ne ne
t Gv Iucket in every way superior " oo, W.
dialap adsas vessel now before tho ''af