The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-10-14

Falling In love, 10 Ike falling into molassss,
swsst but drvsdfal daaby.
when reporters are short Of tune al they have
y do ID 10 make fsw minutesL
All women Are k<ptomsniso to certain sa-
tsns They win hook dresses.
A oomplsoent editor announce, thai 'sc'sfn
deaths are unavoidably delayed I'LL next "eeA.
A Young farmer who inquired the best way
10 START . nursefy. Vas told to marry.
An Indiana youth challenges any man or
hoy In the State 10 an eating match for $40
side.
Hs man lcsss his breath Il 10 Of no use to
run for Il. He can catch Il quicker BY stand
ing still
young stone mason Of Louisville. shot him.
self because be thought there vas too many In
the trade already.
when Paris Was found TO be too tight place
for the bank Of France, the bank was taken 10
another plaee-rOulouse.
There are many important operations on foot
Of which the public know nothing-thoss OF the
chircpodists for instance.
An Irishman. eating his nrst green corn
handed the cob TO the waiter, and asket, xviii
Yea plass put some more bsnss on me stick Y"
Democratic papers are claiming gains in the
recent elections. There Is one gain they are
always sure Of.-snd that Il whipped again.
An Iowa doctor told man that he had . d.
Agnosis Of the polyphemus, and Il scared him
% he shot himself dead. That isn't any way
% use Q man.
The Archbishop Of Bogota has removed an
image Of John the Baptist from his cathedral
because the sculptor had dressed John in .
stovepips hat.
What reason have We 10 suppose that beer
was made In the ark The kangaroo was seen
10 70 In with hops, and the bear wS always
bruiu.
The driver Of q coal-cart anIiously inquired
ut several places for "the residence Of Mr..
james Nahum" after he had been directed TO
take load Of coal 10 the gymnasium.
A lady sd-ertises for employment s an ''or-
nsmentsl guest" She will assist ut dinner or
evening parties, and by her graoe, wit and
beauty, contribute 10 the entertainment Of the
guests. Terms moderate.
An English engineer has invented proiectils
charged With petroleum. for use on the walls Of
Paris against the Prussian. II spreads . sheet
Of fame over surface Of "a square yards.
The biography Of western senator closes in
the following style "He cannot prOPei him
self through the muddy pool Of politics at
higher rate Of speed than that Of rudderless
pollyvog through kettle Of cold mush."
Miss Ann Lash, . young lady In Peunsyl-
vania, has broken . young colt, cultivated nine
acres Of corn. cut ten ACRES OF wheat, nine OF
oats. and sixteen Of grass the present season.
She also plays the piano.
'Dh you present your account 10 the de
fendanti" inquired lawyer Of his client 81
dill, SIR" "And what did he sayf" "He told
me 10 20 70 the devil" "And what did you
do then 20 "why them came to you."
A Virginia editor wrote something about his
'Alma Mater" and the oompositor set u up
.alum water" The funeral OF the compassion
was quite largely attended by his brother print
ers The editor was eIOnerated by the eoro-
ner's jury.
An Irishman in distress asked man for 70
lief lie was repulsed with Ego TO h-n."
Pal iocked at him In such way rs to fx his
attention, and then replied "God bless your
honor for your eiyility for ye're the 6rst gen
tleman that's invited me to bis fathers house
since kim TO America"