The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-05-27

Editorial Opinions Of the Leading Journals
upon Current Topics-compiIed Every
Day for the Evening 7 Telegraph.
PHILADELPHIA DOGS.

PHILADELPHIA DOGS.
From the NJ Y. Tribune
Dogs, we regret to say, still prove the OBJ
stinate unwelcome apparitions that stand be-
tween our sister city and her happiness.
Other communities are bestirring themselves
with regard to railroads, steamers, or other
great national topics but the City of Bro
therly Love still sits solitary, brooding over
the momentous question; What shall we
do with our dogs?' The cause of this solicit
tude it is impossible for us outsiders
rightly to comprehend; whether the canine
population has really become alarmingly ex-
cessive, or whether it arises from that rare
refinement of charitable spirit which charac-
terizes the neighboring village. We incline
to the latter supposition. From q careful
study of our Philadelphia exchanges we are
forced to the belief that every shape and
form of imaginable human suffering has been
there largely provided for, and that the phi
lanthropists, in sheer desperation for new
worlds to conquer, are compelled to turn to
the dogs. So entirely is the city free from
the poor and needy human beings to be
found elsewhere, and so comfortable is life
to every Philadelphian that the benevolent
who wish to confer gift on their employees
or associates can find nothing else to bestow
than graveyard lot. Tombstones are now
quite en- regSe to adorn Christmas trees, or as
pleasant friendly offerings.
II is no wonder, in this beatifc state of
completion and complacency, that the yet
uncared-for vagabond ours should have risen
like ghost to trouble Joy and have become
matter of deep public concern. For the last
year Philadelphias fair women and scientific
men have takegsQunsel together. An asylum
was proposed, ,lNE&ch homeless dogs of the
nobler breed shdHlf receive that bodily CON-
fort and sweet spiritual sympathy which
gentle woman is always ready to bestow
Dogs of the baser sort were sent to that
bourne from which no traveller is supposed to
return, especially if he be travelling on four
feet. The asylum was not built, owing to
some unreasonable stipginess and outcry
from persons lacking in the nobler sensibili-
ties. The ladies proposed to call it pound.
But the majority were still unmolliied.
Philadelphia stood in grief and doubt, wan
dering cur on every street without local
habitation or q name. Her lamentations
over them for a year past could be heard
of all men; her priests sighed, her virgins
were afflicted, and she was in bitterness. Last
week an idea came to her relief; but whether
itemanated from the brain of one of the ladies,
or the physicians whom they had summoned
to the council, it is impossible to discover.
The dogs were all collected tub constructed
of suitably grave and funereal aspect, the
animals committed to it, and closely sealed
With what solemn emotions this was done we
leave our readers to conjecture, and how this
novel burial service was watched by the fair
priestesses as a triumph of humanity and
science. Carbonic acid gas was then intro
duced. Silence for half an hour was observed
The sarcophagus was then opened; but in
stead of cohort of dead dogs, each with
smile of gratitude for his euthanasia upon his
iowls, behold the whole NANCY troop frsk-
ng and lively to the last degree.
The dogs were Philadelphia dogs, and de-
clined to be done to death in any mode not in
use in the days of Penn. Science and hu-
manity were worsted. Murder Is q fine art
was a failure The ladies and physicians beat
an ignoble retreat, and the dogs were
punched full of deadly holes" by the police,
according to immemorial usage. Since then,
additional gloom has fallen upon our staid
sister. The ghosts of the unscientifcally muir
dered dogs rest heavy on her soul, and be-
fore the unavailing pound, like Constance
mourning for her child's fate, there she and
Sorrow SIT