Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1870-05-24
ABOUT WALLER Dogs

When Noah disembarked at A rsrat he had
scarcely touched the pier when he proceeded 20
tally his passengers He had Just checked his
last item in the list-a Mr.. and Mrs. Bed-bug-
when the Bringing figure Of qnadruPed came
sneaking down the gsng-p:alk with his tau
yaller dog" says Noah. aiming n vicio Is kick
with his brogan at the brute. But, with q
facility born OF long and bitter experience. the
Xxi yi''~shich Is syriac for Declined win
thanks" or 'srrot for Joe'-he Disappeared
while Noah, who n had has has,, sea-legs on, was
with emphasis on the back of has head. 10
Noah arose. and In aecordan q with the style
prevalent ~, smong the Pafriarchs, he proceeded
10 soothe his afronted dignity by pronounciug
a yeriegated anathema upon the WALLER dog,
which had charscteristically sneaked unob-
served on board ia The confGs- ON of putting to
sea, and cspsized the captain at the first port.
De cursed that dog in body, limb, bark, hide,
hair, tan, and wag, and all his generations.
reiatons, and kindred by consanguinity or
aninity. and his heirs and assigns. He cursed
him with endless hunger, with perpetual fear.
with perennial laziness, with hopeless mango,
with ncessant fieas and with his tail between
his legs He closed his stock of maledictions by
a sparkling display Of pyrotechnics, from the
cemora lizing effects of which the yaller dog has
With this curse sticking to him IKE a revenue
lamp, the yaller dog can't help being cussed
He oar try To help It- He folio VS. Noah's pro-
lram with snes n fide'i ty. He is an Ishm aefte
among dogs He receives the most oppressive
courteses, in the form OF brick that's, boots, and
hot water, which make his lIfe animated
target excursion. He boards around like
district school teacher, and il Is meal time with
him twentv-fOur hours in the dav. The rest of
the time he bankers after something to eat. He
Is too oDDiyerous for an epicure. Cram him at
Delmonco's and he would hunger for desert
from an Albany boarding house.
He can't be utilized. He Is too tired. As a
swill-c locomotive, hunter, or n sentinel, he
l. an ignominious failure. The dog churn as a
strategic attempt to employ his waste energies,
but he hadn't any waste energies, and butter
had too much self-respect to come at his persua-
sion. So the dog churn was dropped.
NO sausage-maker dare fOrclose his lien on
the yaller dog, lest his customers-no longer
soothed and sustained by an unfaltering trust
transfer the patronage to some less audacious
dealer. The savages, who admire baked dog,
and who even attack tripe and explore the mys-
teries of hash, without dismay, acknowledge the
yaller dog to be too much for their gastric ntre-
pidity.
He always manages to belong to a ragged, to-
bacco-cbewng, whiskey-drinking err whose
business is swapping dogs and evading the dog
tax. The yaller dog is acquainted with himself,
and he enjoys the intimacy with edifying con-
tempt. He sinks along through life, on a dag
Ona! dog trOt, as If in doubt as to which end OF
him Is entitled to the precedence. He is always
prevailed by q hang-dOg sense of guilt and
when retributiye tn-ware is fastened TO his tail,
he flies from the wrath to come to a horritied
celebrity which ought to be very suggestive to
two-legged sinners of a similar ordeal in store
for them.
The yaller dog is-wel, to speake in italics.
he Is a slouch.-Mdrk Train.