Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-03-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
la Go0n ann-Erorcise.

A Coon SrzR- Exercise.
The MlsER's DISEASE Money y-mania.
PorU1AR DRAWING Drawing big
salary.
The QUESTION OF THE HoUR--what
time is itY
AN oBJEcr tF INTEREST "A Treasury
pote coupon, .i
sTHE time 10 buy an overcoat--when
the fit Is on you.
PROVIDE for your own household. Do
itwith policy In the Washington Life.
"A coRnEsPoNDENr of the Advance
thinks that an M. ID. outranks ID. d.,
since NJ equals 1 1000, and ID. only 800
ssAfY friend, have you sufficient conf.
dence In me 10 loan me dollar2" "Oh,
yes confidence enough, but no dollar"
y'nE following complaint was dropped
in the Buffalo City Scavenger's box /;
"Ded Dugh In allie ate the foot of pearl
81. Running East"
sBRowN--HWhose boy is that, Jones ~
Jones'" Oh, a relative of mine by mar
rnge" Brown" What relation |" Jones
=" A son, that's all"
ais your house warm one, landlord ~
asked gentleman In search of house.
IN ought TO be-" was the reply. "The
painter gave IL two coats recently"
ONE of the most eminent lawyers in
England used TO tell young practitioners
that the finest line in modern poetry was
Scotts "Charge, Chester, chargei'
THE Cincinnati Chronicle compositor
who changed the name of the gun. boat
Oneida to One Idea," evidently had the
latter on the brain.-Bost0n Transcript.
THE assets Of the Washington arc
securely invested in bonds and Mortgages
FIRST liens), and United States and New
York State Stocks and Bonds, in com
pliance with the laws of the State of New
| York.
."FArnER," said lad, "I have otter
read of persons being "poor but honest,
why don't they sometimes say rich but
honest =" Tut, int, my son." replied the
father, "nobody would believe them"
A PERSON desiring a situation as teacher
in Nova Scotia, wrote TO the board "fal
| 4 1870. Sir Offer myslf to you for thai
place to the board which am wall quail
ide for my adge is 402" (meaning, doubt
less, 42).
A DEBATING society at Lyons has beer
| for some time engaged in the discussion o
] wv AlhtnNibns II 1Ou llth w iAiNt u bllti
where would you have it?" and its mem
bers have finally decided, con another
fellow"
Tue New Haven Palladium explaint
that lady's communication on woman
suffrage, which IL recently published
should have said "the cares and responsi
bilities of q family" and not "the curs
and responsibilities" as the rascally type
got it.
AS DIR, Dwight once passed through
region of very poor land, he said TO
I farmer "Sir, perceive your land here
not very productive" " No, sir," said th,
honest farmer tour land is Just like self
righteousness" "Ahl how is thatI
"Why the more man has of it the poore
4 he is"
THE CongrCgdti0Rdlia gives the lates
and most touching illustration of that ap
preciative mind which thankfully receive
the smallest favors-the case of clergy
man who, at a late ministerial gathering
gratefully acknowledged the parochial gif
of 1.-TWO pints of skim milk" Poor man
there must be very little cream to such
joke as that.
WHY SLEEP WAS INVENTED
When man was made, 1t puzzled Satan much
How Adams soul and body he could wnl
So he invented woman and With such
A soul ondow'd her, she was sure to sin;
And once get Adam underneath her thrall,
Satan was certain both of them should fall
But thcn another difficulty rose
How to get Adam to accept his BRIDE
This he O'ercnme, as everybody knows,
BY sending him 10 sleep; then by his side
Placed Eve-for Satan knew this much of life,
That wide awake he'd never take a wife
THE following notices to correspondent
are from the pen of Josh Billings: "Don'
write only on one side of the manuscript
and don't write on that Don't send
manuscript unless you can read it after
gets dry. We pay, all the way up hill
from ten cents TO one dollar for contribu
tons, according to the lenkth; and settle
ments made promptly at the end of tn
ensuing year Poetry and prose piece
respectfully solicited. The highest ma
ket price paid for awful railroad smashC
and elopements with another mans wifi
No swearing aloud In our paper, NOAH
flood Your remarks might possibly lea
one more man to think as you do, and W
don't want our columns to be held respoi
sible FOR increasing the number of phool
The world has already got more phoo
than there Is any need of"
A VERY PRETTY TAX is that which hi
been assessed by the United States AssessC
on the New York Central Railroad Con
pany, That company, we remember, i
sued once upon time scrip dividend ,
80 per cent, representing, according
the Commodore, improvements of the lii
and additions to the equipment not her
tolore reported withthe earnings. So th
Assessor assesses n tax of 5per cent. upo
that dividend, accepting with heartle
I 1stat.n n1no th.a nxytAar.na
it had not been reported before an
represented actual earnings. "Since the'
) earnings have not paid tax befor
they must pay one now," says the Asse
, sor, and, computing 8 per cent. ON Il
amount of the dividend, hands TO Il
) Collector bill for $i,152,000, to collect |
the first of May.
Moral Do not declare a scrip divider
so large that the undivided surplus ca
earnings in the treasury will not pay pt
cent. on the amount Railroad Gazette.
A FEW days ago, the Rev. w. T. Luck
Principal OF the State Normal SchoC
and frequently acting as Chaplain to Il
Penitentiary at San Quentin, was visitir
at Sacramento, and interviewing to son
extent perhaps, the members of u
Legislature Being In the Senate Chan
Der at the opening of the morning sc
; sion, he was requested by the President
, open the proceedings with a praye
which he did, with eyes olosed-wheth'
, forgetting the place he was was in, or Il
/, people surrounding him, we cannot say
. In the following manner; "Oh, Lor
/, we pray Thee that Thy mercies may |
! extended to these poor men, who hay
been sent here from all parts of the Stat
convicted for various crimes and misd
meanors; have mercy upon them, we b.
seeoh Thee, while they are here servin
out the times for which they were sent
and when they have served and are di
miSSnh from those walls may ihnN rnt,,r