The Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1870-1875, 1870-12-19

MUMOROVs.


MOrTo for those who cut sausage !
meat: Carpe c1aena.
Tbs men Of The day most popular
with women-Hymen.
Why have widows the Fightto hirts /
Because the Bible says the widow
PIrTsFrELD has special feline cata-
combs, with epithets which DO honoF
10 the news.
AN aboripinal ferment is aaid to
threaten a general rising OF Indian
male next spring.
STARS are the best astronomers,
because they have studded the heaV-
mems since the creation.
WHAris it that Adam never saw,
never possessed, and yet he gave to
each or his children2 Parents.
VIcroR Emmanuel having put the
Pope's nose out OF Joint, Russia nat
urally looks to the end Of Turkey.
A VETERAN shopkeeper says that
although Eis clerks are very talkaHlve
during the day, they ar always READY
TO shut up Of night.
THE latest thing 10 dueliDg is for
both parties TO take siryehnine and
chen play old sledge for the first pull
nc the stomach-pump.
A KENTUCKY Baptist preacher
won't get his life insured, because, ne
SAYS, it's no more nor less than
straight betting against the Al
mighty"
,srv-, -. s.@... t..,waar
the Nerth aud South Pole2" ny by.
IN ne differences in the world" re-
Piled lady unWittingly; and that's
the answer.
CoLONEr. SUSAN B. AaTHoNY i o.
the opinion that women should never
marry. Is would seem that all men
concur in this opinion of the COLONEL
so far, nc least, as she himssit u
concerned.
II BEG your pardon. sir" said 40
editor to a man on whose toe be hac
aecidently stepped in q crowd. On
no matter. sir, was the good naturec
reply; sit was only an error Of th'
pFess!
A MORMON died the other day, anC
his twenty wives quarreled as to which
ahould ride ahead In the funeral pro
eessson. The matter was finally set
tied by their marching twenty abreast
right in front.
A NEW leaf 10 the family history
Jack. Now III be papa going {
ssllie. ''Oh, yasl-and III te th
nurse, and you must kiss me benin
che cellar doorg
A LITTLE boy. hearing his fathe
aav. sThere Is q time for all things,
climbed up behind his mothers chat
aud. whispering 10 her ear asked
when Is the proper time for hoOkln
sugar out Of the sugar BOWL
II FIND, Dick, that you are in th
habit Of taking my jokes and passiE
them off as your owu. Do you Ga
that Rentlemanly conduct" ITO
sure Il do. Tom. "A traa gentlems
will always take joke from o friend
THOSE heather Cherokess has
perpetrated joke on Uncie Sam
Appointing a day Of fasting and nray
for protection against the Uniti
States. The rcd mems aceustomi
stoiidity il at last relievef By Il
freak OF grim humor-
A JERsEYMAN who has a Chine
servant complains that the heath
will worship an old brass andre
wher tho family gathers tor pray
and the other morning offered up
fore Il two dead rats aud burned b
q Joss stick.
Az exchange. abiding 20 II.
Barnum's coming show, says: lie
the gentlman that recently enter
Fl land out West BY falling OF bis ho
INTO 4 prairie dog hole. The b
win Be exhibited among che ourie
ties"
MopoaaAaGs are als the rage now
aavs with people who consider the
seives anybody. A young man livi
0 rtff1 Avenue had one worked q
a@r ma eve ths other day, beoaas
sfisrd nj his lina 100 - -said h
about it,