The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-03-31

MOVING DAY.-The following from the
Washington (Pa) Reporter Is SO appropri-
ate to this latitude Just ut this time TINT
We transfer it to our columns:
Next Friday will DO a genuine "black
Friday" in the calendar Of all those unfor-
tunatcs who will be compelled to perform
Il change of base, of whom We are which.
There Is undoubtedly great propriety in
designating tho first Of April as AL fools
day. for II ever people look and. feel
crazcd and ldiotic it Is when undergoing
the pangs and woes Ot moving" 1t Is a
day to be mathematical for months be-
iorchand, and execrNted ever afterwards.
It will be raining or showing, as o matter
Of course, md the mud will BIO possessed
Of all tho properties and virtues Of Spald-
ing's Glue. It will be q short, day; too,
in point of time; far too short to ac-
complish all that Is 10 BIO done. q The
sun will hasten his course on his dur
nal round and SGT long before you
aro ready for It. It will DO lengthy
enough, however, in point Of agony;
viewed in this light it will fairly equal
u young eternity. An age OF suffer
ing will be compressed between the
hours of Q A. NJ, and 6P. NJ. You will
havc o headache, too-evGrybody will
have a headache everybody has head
ache on moving day" 1t Is an INSOFAR
able adjunct Of the occasion. The man
or woman who has not Rn acho or pain,
all tho rest Of the year Is sure 10 feel panG
on the 1st Of April. An aching head Is
an inevitable thing upon that occasion,
because It is especially Consonant with the
misery Of the time; Il makes you feel so
dull, dismal md ill-humored. A tOOthaChG
Is not untrequently an accompaniment,
and IL you have Il hollow tooth In your
head It is morally certain TO get the mis-.
chief In 1t on moving day. You generally
have a twinge Of Rheumatism, TOO, and It
invariably comes in your back, just when
you need all the strength Of that part for
lifting tables, stoves and boxes. IfyOu are
predisposcd that way It will generally
manage to visit you ut that time, and Il
you never had It In your lie before It will
be sure To choose that occasion for an OK.
pertinent II you have children they will
DO all sick on tho firSt Of April, no matter
how healthy they may he at other times.
They nlay 90 to bed tho night before as
robust as young Simpsons, but they. will
be sure to get up unwell that morning and
be very i'll and pcGvish all day. II You
have friends at u distance they will be alb
sOlutely certain TO choose that time for a
visit You may have been inviting them all
the rest Of tic year, when you were In excel
lent condition for receiving them, but they
will prOCrNStinatc and postpone until they
finally drop down upon you when you
have everything torn topSy.turvey and
urc in absolute ettFemiS There arc a
thousand other cheering attendants and
blessings oFthe festive occasion which VIC
have not time 10 enumerate, but which
every unfortunate will experience wildly
on Friday next, Job must have been born
on the first Of April Judging from the bit.
terness with which he cursed his natal
day. Undoubtedly one Of the chief ILL
which sprang out Of PandOra's box when
the lid was taken oil, was this day Of days
tho worst. II Is q well established theo
logical rule that no man Is accountable
for what he docs on the LIST Of April! It'll
time when all creation Is awry; wher
everything is upset; when the elements arr
resolved back into confusion, and whcI
We have q very truthful pantomime q
what the world was before Its transfer
nation from chaos. II there was mort
than one LIST Of April In the year, liit
would DO too intoleFahle for any human
being to endure II.