The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1870-12-08

sented are believed to be correct and trustworthy
JAMES POLLOCK, Director OF the Mint
HANG IT UP" FOR THE HERALD.
--~~~->~-~>~>~~~~~~~
A Hungry Fraud Dimes without Cash-Hs
"Chucks" Away the Checks by Drawing
Check-Ths Cashier Checks his Check by
"Cauoking" Him over to "Cop''-
The Crack" Justice Cracks the Nut.
waiter r'
ayes, saah.n
Waiter disappears. Returns after three minutes
.Ordered YET saah ~
"Waiter, let me have-ah let me see; got any
turtle soupYn
"Not to-day, saan. Some excellent beef soup,
also tomato.u
damn tomato This bill Of fare is deyilish poor
to-day. Let me see; well, guess III have large
roast beef''
"All right saah."
"Waiter, let that roast beef be rare.n
GAN right saah."
Roast beef brought. Waiter retires.
Roast beef devoured in seven gulps
Waiter again signalled.
"Walter, another roast beef.n
can right. saah."
Roast beef brought Devoured in nine guips.
"Waiter guess III try little turkeyn
Turkey devoured in five inmates,
Total now communicative roast beefs, one turkey,
four plates potatoes four plates BREAD large plate
pickles. plate OF mashed turnips, hall pint Worcester
sauce and sundries.
s'waiter, now, In the way or dessert, what hare
you got9n
"Weli, saah, most everything; dumplings and
puddings OF al kinds saah; pies OF all kinds, and
'Let me see; well, guess III have baked dump.
lingn
IAN right, saahn
Dumping brought. Devoured.
"Water guess I'll have a cup of coree. let me J
see. I'll also take tapioca pudding. Don't delay
GAN right, saah."
PUDDING DEvoURED.
During the process OF consuming the coffee
walter leaves cheek for 81 As on table.
The dinner above alluded to took place at Goulds
dlning saloon in Nassau street. yesterday afternoon
between twelve and one O'clock ana the 'gentn
who consumed the food, to the quantity named, was
Tompkins entered the saloon to "chear outn
dinner he assumed the most acknowledgement"
most astonishing to that individuals long expert
ence In gents" 1t transpired after the consump-
proceeding Mr.. Tompkins had great difficulty In
restraining his legs from finding resting place
the table. large number OF newspapers tied up
In bundle seemed to have, In the leading position
assigned them, some very prominent purpose during
EASY sELF-sATIsFIEp AIR
with which the ''genr conned over the spicy para
graphs OF the Eueatng Telegram when his first pangs
| initiated civilian that MIR. Tompkins was not only
the author OF all the brilllancies OF that brilliant
sheet, but that the cartoon itself was the pro.
| Duct OF his satiric pencil. Another matter which
| might and must have given rise TO the interesting
specuatons OF the haoH Is OF Gould's was the ex-
.raordinary rapldity with which Tompklns in the
beginning ''got away with his food, herein being
certain class OF N5erpteurs, who are as the
world knows. afflicted with what the physicians
call false appetite. The smile OF sellcomplacency
| with which MIR. Tompkins leisurely returned the
check for 81 As to the table after seemingly saying
cheap as grass attracted the especial attention OF
| the sable waiter who, to his own words, on
being subsequently interviewed IN regard to the
matter, "Golly from dat out suspeckd dare was
| someing wrong" AT length, the meal being over,
and after fifteen minutes quiet reclamation IN
| A COMFORTABLE ATTITUDE
Mr. Tompkins rose and, In few majestic strides.
| approached the bar. browning scowl, indicating
there was only chance for the eruption, sat upon
his physlognomy and fierce glance of the Tomp-
bar as he modesty awaited the small sum OF 81 As.
ToaPKINs-Sr, am a HERALD reporter short Of
is attributable to domestic nellcaton ana not at
all cognizable to any one except an aunt, who with
the waywardness OF her sex-mind, reproach Is at
the far lhest limits Of my nsinuatory observation
| Is addicted, alas to gln."
CAsHIER-Did you say. sir, you wished changer
melancholy smile OF Indignation was the Tomp-
UAsHrIER-s1 As. SIR
| ToMPKINs-Sir, do you mean to Insult the
DIGNITY OF THE PRESS
| Have not as a man and gentleman told you that
am utterly deprived OF all consconabe ability to
liqudae tie insignificant indebtedness to which In
such contempluousy shop and trade-like manner
you allude2 SIR don't 81 40 me- when as the repre-.
Jude, sir, TO the New York HERALD, am, owing to
the railtles OF an esteemed, but, alasl an unortu
nate relative, In the melancholy predcament Of
bankruptcy In my monetary mobIlizatory affairs.
A blank stare did the cashier give at Mr.. Tomp-
klns; but by degrees 1t seemed to dawn on the man
of business that this was case in which the word
"Deatn might without danger Of error, be applied
nc, IoApK s Ms Bartender to come down TO the
blame you, my dear SIR no, TOmpkins, Of tue
HERALD, never blamed man for his
UNCOMFORTABLE DEFICIENCIES;
mental distortions arc malleated, and to speak
nrieny ana 70 me purpose-as 10 the little obllga
CASHIER GloughIfully and looking hard at Temp.
kinsI-aang 1t up, did you say.
| ToMPKINs-Slr, spoke that effect
Lne cashier, alLer making calculation as to the
nis connection with the HERALD, retired moment
from behind the counter and spoke to q gentleman
dining at one OF the tables and this being done
turned 70 MS place at the bar With q malicious
Mr.. Tompktns.
CAsalBR-ATe you reporter on the HERALDs
CAsnIER-Yon are an impostcr, and as such will
ueat you. Constantine, call an oficerp
ar. iompklns mere dren forth piece OF paper
ana SEEING pencil drew out IN the largest sized
WORDS pronissory note, with the addeudum
"or call at the HERALD otlce where the
MISERABLE, CONTRACTED LIABILITY
snali In the briefest space OF tme be honorably
made good, and yalldy discharged j. n To-
| THIS document, however was speedily torn up
into small parts and Mr. I. to be tragic, now con-
ndngly drew near TO the cashiers ear ami wins.
pered INTO that organ:-
"say, old teller, you wouldn't play that game,
would your III pay, so help me Cd If YOU only
| let me on. was as hungry as a starved hound.r
! ,GAsHIER-1ou.re swlndler, anu you'll leave
| this IN charge OF o policeman
ny thls Tune tue officer arrived. Mr.. Tompkns
! was paced under arrest. He promised to 40 along
Quietly, and did. change had come over the
spril Oh ms dream as within few minutes after he
hnlNre Alu