Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1870-01-06
tFrom the Troy Budget.l
Hiram Green and Female Suffrage.

/
HIS EXPERIENCE WITH THE STRONG
MINDED At THE BALLOT BoX-soME
SENSIBLE ADVICE FROM THE
"IAIT GUsTICE."
/ On the last elecshun day | was servin
as Inspector of elecshun, when passil
of wimin drest partly in mems close cum
into the door. Thay was hedded by old
Sary Yoomans, who has bin an old made
for moren ] sentury Walkin up to the
railin WHARF votes are put in, Miss Yoo-
mans says:
Square Green. weeye cum to cast the
suffrage of a down trodden rase will
| you reserve our votes ?"
Not exactly / wont, my hi toned
greshun benders," says l.
"Do you know who air, sir ?" cride a
rale-fence lookin female, whose nose lookt
as if sheed been sokin it in bladder of
black snuff
"Well, madam" says l, "you look as
ii you was lot Of so.ealled strong
minded females who was mp to snuff and
had been pokin your nose into other
fokeses biziness and had axidently tum-
bled slap bang into the cole hole"
ave air, sir" says another he-lookin
female, members of the Skeensboro Sore
eye-sis sosiety. We believe wimins has
got rites which man is bound to respeck +;
we believe the ballit is calkilated to raise
woman to her proper speer we believe
Soosan Anthony, E. Cady Stanton, Parker
Pailsbury, and Mr.. Blackwell are just
as capable of bein President of theese
United States as the best man which ever
wore panterloons, and we are bound
hensforth and forever, one and inseper-
able, to stand up for our rites if sum
filanthropic sosiety will hold cur best
bonnit"
Durin her diskourse, about 40 wimin
was holdin ballits for me to take, while
others were vilently swiugin their ging-
ham parasols over my bald he'd. All
seemed as ii they was Jest bilin over to
git thar clutches about my breethin ap-
paratus Says L:
$50 hum and be females, and don't
make confounded noos lntsis of yourselfs
any longer, gitten mixed up with the
body polertick, for sures your born when
wimin votes shell trail her skirts in the
dust and you cant stop her when she
walks up to the ballit box and undertakes
to mix into suthin she don't nc more about
than some of the polisemen do about a
first class fite, when its THAR duty to be
THAR Thes when that air time comss /
VIII ecksclalm "Oh, woman, WHARF is
thy sting; oh, sore-eye-sis, WHARF is thy
victory ?"
What, miserable man, woodest thou
deny US the ballit ?" screamed another
female, as she tore 2 bushel waterfall
from her head and wildly swung it in the
air
With all doc respect to the seek" says
1, gettin little riled at theese female
loonaticks, ''you can just bet yoor Sun
day close, l woodent"
Hard harted monksteer, yool rooe this
day" they all cride TO wonst, and the hull
lot burst into teers.
kind sir, we langwish to cast our suf-
frage," says big fat woman wayin nj on
to 300.
"Well madam" says he gittin madder
and madder all the while, ''languish and
be gorn darned, you cant vote heer-
that's what's the matter, and l want you
to understand | mean bizness.''
At this they all started for the door,
remarkin that was an "old fool, beast,
an old horny headed villain" etsetery,
etsetery.
MY week minded and misgiided fe-
males of the feminine gender" sed 1,
"hold yOor horses mint until an old
Statesman who has served his country for
4 yeers as Gustice of the Peece says a few
words to you.
"When woman was made out of a rib
taken from man, it wasent calkilated
that she shood lower herself by mixin
into sich dirty bizness as you are up to
this day. Woman, in her natural eler-
ment, is jest one of the gushinist insti-
tooshens of this ere land, wich fioze with
milk and honey, and what poor miserable
critters man wood be without her Who
wood nuss our children if it wasen't for
wimin Who'd cheer our firesides if is
wasent for wimin ? Whood cook our Wit
tells if it wasent for wimin And who'd |
hall off our butes mites, when we cum
home tired, becaws natur had been con-
kered in fair stand up fite with logger
beer and Switzer? Agin | say, if it wasent
for wimin in her unadultrated state, afore |
sheed been made tarnal fool of by these
ere despoilers mans happiness, He 1ojB1iI1, |
man wook be a poor coot.
''Tharefore, | remark, go hum and re-
SOON yoor abnormal condishun. Git back |
into yoor own harness, and don't under |
take to assoom the bifukerated garments |
1t haint yoor fort, not by darned site it
haint, and you cant be man no morn
sum of our public ofishals can be honest.
l ratified away to em in this stile ontil
| beheld the last pair of bifukeraters skoot |
for mum, when I subsided into cheer,
and with my bandaner handkerchief
wiped ther perspirashun from my noble
brow. After Ide parshally recovered my
/ again resoomed my offishal
bizness, but | coodent help thinkin that
if wimin made such confounded hulaba- |
loo about votin as they is now doin, them
air feeders who are goin about the coun-
try like barral of Moo England rum,
seeking that they may gobble up sumbody, |
will have pile to anser for when woman
becomes a compornint part of the body |
polertic.
That's so, ar elts this ere cort is unaware
Of what she knows.
Respectfully ewers,
HIRAM GREEN, Esq,
Lait Gustiee of the Peece.