The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-05-13
JOSH BILLINGS LETTERS.
THE AUNT.

| THE AUNT.
The aunt IL IL menny footed insekt.
They live about one thousand five
hundred and fifty Of them (more OF
less, in the same hole in the ground,
and hold thare property in common.
They have no holydays, no eight
our sistem, nor never strike for emmy
higher wages.
They are cheerful little toilers, and
have no mails, nor back door to thare
hart9.
There IL no sedentary loafers among
them, and yu never see one out NV a
job.
They git up arly, go to bed late,
work all the time, and etc on the run.
Yu never see two ants argueing sum
phoolish question that neither oy them
didn't understand; they don't kare
whether the Inune is inhabited or not
nor whether fish weighing two
pounds, put into n pail ov water al
ready phull, will make the pail slop
over, or weigh more.
They amt hunting after the philos-
ofer's stone, nor getting crazy over
the cause oy the sudden earthquakes.
They don't care whether Jupiter IL
80 or 81 nilyun ov miles up in the air,
nor whether the eirth bobs around on
its axes or not, so long Us it don't bob
over thare korn krib and spill tharc
barley.
Tley are simple little bizzy ants, full
ov faith, working hard, living pru-
IDENTIFY, committing no sin, prazeing
God by minding their own bizzness,
and dieing when thare time comes,
tcw make room for the next crop OF
ants.
They are n reproach to the lazy, an
encouragement tew the Industrious, Il
rebuke tew the vishus, and study
tew the christian.
If yu want to take lesson in arki-
Texture, go and set down by the side
ov thare hole in the ground, and Won
der how SO menny kan live so thick.
If your pashunce needs consowla-
shun, watch the ants, and be strength
ened.
Ii man had added to his capacity
the pashunce and grit of thes little at-
oms oy animated natur, every noun
tin on the buzzum of the arth would
before this, hav bin levelled, and ev-
cry inch ov surface would scream with
fruitfulness, and countless lots ov hui
man critters would have bin added
tew the inhabitants ov the universe,
and bin fed on korn and other sass.
hay sot by the hour and q half
down near an ant hill, and marvelled /;
hay wondered ut thare instinkts, and
hav thought how big must be the jack
ass who was satisfied To beleave that
even an ant, the least oy the bugs,
could have been created, made billy,
and sot tew work by chance.
Oh, how / do pity the individual
who behaves that all things here are
the work ov an acksideut He robs
himself ov all plezure on arth, and all
right in heaven.
had rather be an ant (even hum
bic, bandy-legged, profane swearing
anti than tew look upon things ov this
world az I would upon the throw ov a
dice.
Ants are older than Adam.
Man (for very wise reasons) want
bilt until all other things were finish
ed, and pronounced good.
If man had bin first he would hav
insisted upon bossing the rest of the
job.
He probably would have objeckted
tew having emmy bizzy ants at all, and
various other objeckshuns would have
been offered, equally green.
/ am glad that man wuz the last
thing made.
If man hadn't hav bin made at all,
yu never wud hav herd me find emmy
fault about it.
Ants are honest, hard-tugging lit
tie people, but whether they marry, or
Civ in marriage, IL beyond my strength,
but if they don't they amt no wuzz
oph than they are out west (near the
city of Chicago), where they marry to-
day and apply for an injunkshun to-
morrow; and are reddy the next day
to fite it out again on sum other line.
Wedlock out west (near the CRATE
Crane mart, Chicago IL one ov them
kind of loks that almost emmy one kan
pick.