The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-10-14
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HENRY CLAY used to say that there
were three classes of people with whom
it was never safe to quarrel. First
ministers; for the reason that they
could denounce me from the pulpit, and
had none through which to reply.
Second-editors for they had the most
powerful engines from which they could
every day hurl wrath and fury upon me,
and had none through which to reply.
And. finally, with women, for they
would have the last word any how.
A MOMENT OF THoUGHr. Forty
wears once seemed long and weary
pilgrimage to tread. 1t now seems but
step. And yet along the way arc broken
shrines where thousand hopes have
wasted into ashes; footprints sacred un-
der their drifting dust; green mounds,
the grass of which is fresh with the wa
tering of tears; shadows, even which
we would not forget.
A FLIRT.-It is common to speak of
those whom Airt has Tilted as her vic
tins. This is grave error. Her real
victim is the man whom she accepts.
This reminds us of happy smile; "a
coquelte is rose from whom every low
er plucks leaf-a thorn remains for her
future husband"
A country fellow went counting his
girl, and wishing to be conversational,
observed: "The themonkron is twenty
degrees below zelcn this evening"
"Yes, innocently replied the maiden,
"such kinds of birds do fly higher some
seasons Of the year than others"
"Dick," said a certain lawyer to a
countryman who was considered more
fool than knave, "what should you call
the two greatest curiosities in the
world 7" "Why," replied Dick, can
honest lawyer and river on fire.
IfI put money in the savings bank,
when can get it out again 2 asked one
of the newly arrived. Och said his
friend, sure an ifye put in to-day, you
can draw it out again Tomorrow by Civ
ing fortnight's notice.
A Grammarian's thought What a
contrast there sometimes is between the
adjective and its adverb Reflect, for
example, on the wide difference that ex
list between a man who is constant in
love, and the man who is constantly in
love-
81 say, friend, your horse is a little
contrary, is he not p No SIR what
makes him stop, then I? ooh, he's
afraid somebody will say whoa, and he
shan't hear H.
Landlord, said a traveller at the table
of a country tavern, this soup is a little
weaker than am used TO; | wish you'd
Just let that chicken of yours wade
through it once more if you please"
A money hunter being about to marry
a fortune, friend asked him how long
the honeymoon would last. "Don't tell
me of the honeymoon" he replied; "it
is the harvest with me-"
There is no such thing as determin-
ing the intellect of man. A count, in
point of mind, may be of no account
whatever, a baron may be as barren OF
brains as a chestnut tree of walnutSs
An indianapolis liquor establishment
has posted on its wall the following no
tice "Gentlamen will please not discuss
historical, religious or political subjects
in this house.
A tombstone in Maine graveyard,
erected to the memory of a wife, bears
this inscription: clears cannot restore
thee-therefore l weep" He know he
had safe thing.
The girls hirt desperately at Saratoga.
The young men are not safe unless lock
ed UP in their rooms. BIT the girls do
not strike SO many matches as the men.
Two sailors recently fought duel in
New Orleans one OF them was wounded
and the other killed-one laid up, and
the other laid out.
Why does young man only give
lady's hand gentle squeeze because
honesty can never give grip like a
vice.
Three things that never agree-Two
cats over one mouse two wives in one
house, and two lovers after one young
lady.
The hardest thing to hold in this
world is an unruly tongue. 1t beats a
hot smoothing iron and kicking horse
considerably.
The gentleman who "6red at random"
did not hit and, in disgust, handed his
rife over to the youth who Gains at inn
mortality"
Attachment-A 5ast number of at
tocbmantS suhsist on tLe common hatred