Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-03-10
What L DON'T Know of Farming.

What L DON'T Know OF Farming.
Mr.. Greeley, having devoted a long
and busy life to literature, politics, ana
philosophy, is publishing the results OF
his varied experience III a SERIES oFeSsays
entitled What | Know OF Farming" "
Unless he invades the realm of fancy,
or unless some body kindly volunteers
a supplement to his essays, 1 am afraid
his efforts will have done little 10 en-
tighten the depIorable ignorance upon
the subject of farming which is suppos-
ed TO Cypress the bucolic mind. l be-
lieve that don't know OF farming rath-
er more than he does know OF it, and if
We can persuade.the rural world 10 profit
! by the copiOuS array of facts embraced
in what he does know, and what don t
know, Of farming, our essays viii be as
valuable, pound for pound, as a compost
heap.
Mr.. Greeley expects to tell what he
knows about the matter in the course of
the year 1870; but, if 1 should be spared
so long, L expect to be pegging away at
the task of telling what don't know of
it, in 1870. None but Il phllanthropist
would devote so many of the best years
of his life to the humane task OF eleya-
ting The groyeling and sordid farmer. /
suppose L am phiianthrOpist. The
symptoms are confined to my bosom,
and am struggling, with a fair promise
of success, to keep the disease from eX-
tending to my pocket-book. L have a
paroXysm of philanthropy frequently.
L never see hard-isted son of the soil
generously divide the last cent with
himself, or modestly shun a toll-gate, or
tenderly refuse TO hire help when his
wife is sick, or otherwise characteristic
ally illustrate the homely rural virtues,
without feeling an almighty philan-
thropic desire to elevate him-with the
toe of my boot. Prudential considera-
tions have prevented my giving this i'm
pulse practical expression; but L bide
my time, and when | find farmer who
is sufficiently feeble and undersiZed TO
warrent the experiment, | shall try TO
| lift him from his debased condition.
The majority of farmers have been en-
gagged in agricultural pursuits during
all of their active lives, and they natur-
ally want to know, by this time, wheth-
er farming pays. They are waking up
to sense OF the vital Importance OF this
conundrum. Fortunately Nj. G. de-
cides the question affirmatively. If he
had announced, as among the things
that he k1ael0 about farming, that ii
didn't pay, as soon as the farmers had
read that decision and digested it, they
would become an extinct race. But the
momentous question arises, Is NJ. G.'s
decision binding on professional farmers?
He is only an amateur farmer, and an
amateur farmer is no more like the reg
ular breed than a fashionable preacher
is like one of the apostles.
Amateur farming undoubtedly pays
as well as any other expensive hobby.
Amateur farmers raise superb crops
every five or ten years, and as they buy
their country produce ofthe regular deal
ers, they manage to live on the fat OF the
land and fare sumptueously.every day.
There is 40 danger of their suffering from
the failure of crops, as long rs there are
any groceries flowing with milk and
| honey.n Long before one Of them hap
pens to rescue good crop, his bank ac-
count begins to look sick. His straw
costs him about cent apiece, and if he
could get his turnips off at cost, the pur
chaser would be hOpelessly y ruined. He
| farme it in linen duster under an UNI
brella, about six hours in the week, and
the rest of the time he gives advice to
those who have farmed all their lives,
and who, of course don't know any
| thing aboutit. Amateur farming saps a
mans energies as badly as carrying a
rattan cane.
Without disparaging the ability oftbeI
American Institute Farmers Club, in
other respects, l think if its members
We're placed on average farms, in the
pecuniary circumstaL ces of ordinary
farmers, one years experience would
queuch their romantic mOonshine about
farming, and restore several capable
Ishoemakers, tailors, grocers, and editors
to their appropriate spheres, cured of ag-
ricaltural yearnings.
Most of the farmers whomI know ARE
poor. | don't know that to be fact, be-
cause have heard nearly all of them,
within the last month assure the tax
collector that it was SO; and a majority |
of them seemed to be under oath, both
loud and deep, and emphasized the as
sertiOn by imprecating the eyes and the
souls, and the ingredients generally, of
the assessors for officially certifying to
the contrary.
When q common farmer goes to 'put-
ting on scollops," the chances are that
he has received a legacy, OF, is running
in debt. Common sized, legitimate ag-
ricultural pursuits are unfavOrable to
asthetic indulgence r to the develop
ment of that hairdie, tan-terrier ,laven-
der kid and French paste life for which
the American youth banker.
If you are looking for business that
pays, try patent medicines, or stocks of
craftsmanship, or some other vocation
that has liberal infusion OF guackery
or fraud. The longer misguided man
runs a farm, the less he will resemble
Extract Of Buchu, or Jim Fisk, or Nor
rissey, or any other eminent example of
financial notoriety.
But if, in spite of the dubious prospect,
you are determined to persist in the
riotous, extravagant and demOralizing
vocation of the farmer, move West
where there is some chance to profit by
the rise in real estate, and where agri-
cultural essayists do not corrupt[-Hy
Slocum, in Buffalo Express.
How to make Grating Wax,
Take good, clean bees wax, one-third: