The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-04-22
aFtit any Dultiur.

W " AWa gumur.
- The oldest reyolver-The earth.
--'rhe Home MeHdist' The baby
Every cardsplayer knows good
deal. .
a An. exchange ia not far from
right in .sayiugs that sour-fac.d vile
sften helps the liquor trade.
IA New,Ydf paper speaks Of ga
man with ons e. e named Roheft WeIch
batedoe. not toll swhst his other exc
J --A dandy Inquired at a frnlf stah
tAre these apples ii. Tor 4 hog to .a,!'
TRY one. aid see. sold the Money.
- ----.The popular mode al asking one
what he will take to drink,fn vicks
burg IS, please napinate } cur fsthl,
disturbance. ~
- Could frogs havsehosen q log
for sovereign. with such love NE they
have fora crow-kiag?
- Generosity Is the seashies feel
Ing of the heart. Feel As il YOU could
and You will lave nearly all the self
satisfaction that you would hive had i.
you really had elleved distress.
My SON. said an old lady, how
must Jonah nave felt when the whals
swallowed him!' .Alttlr down in tie
mouth suppose, Was young hepetul's
reply.
- Extract from the last sensation
romance: "rhen, Horiensc. il thor
dost wish to SWEET him from Inv path
lure him to the goddess city or Chicags
and his doom, Is certaiii.f NAV M,
not tina : though wouItkill the bods
] weuld not slaw his SOUL"
"Bfidgct what have ron .ion..
with ths.erenn? These children can.
not eat skim milk for break last 'Surp
ma am and isn't myself that would be
after given til~ scum TO vez, tux that
on and gave u 10 he .cats,"
--"1s that niarbleY" said a gentle
man, pointing 10 4 bust OF Kentuck' :
great sfateman. recently, in New
York store. Ne sir; that's c lay IRE
piled the dealer.
- A toppisL fellow advised friend
not to marry A poor girl. as he would
find matrimony with poverty '.up hill
work. =" ..Good," said his friend. !!
would rather go up hill than down hill
any time"
- The father of orabella found
that little girls chubby little hands full
OF the blossoms 81 a btauIiftl. tea rofe
on which be had bestowed great care.
MY dear" he said ~diint | tell Yen
not to PICK ons of those flowers without
leayey" eyes. papa" said Dorabella
shut all these had leaves"
Joe, what makes your Aose 30
redY"
.sFriendship."
"Friend<hip! How do you make
shat oat!"
1--WE got friend who Is very fond
OF brandy. and he's too weak to take Ii
strong, and I've constituted myse II hi.
taster."
- Little Willie having hunted Il
all the corners tor his shoes. at last al.
pears to give them up. and climbing on
a chair. betAkeA himseit to big book
lying en- the side-table. Mother saws
to him: Nv hat IL darling Doing wiki
the book It'ta he dictionary; papr
looktb IN the dictionary for things. and
am looking TO see II can md my
Shoes"
---tSanI. did you see Sir. jenkins,
the new oveTseer
"Yes. massa, | met him down By tbs
cotton GIN
"iIe's good-looking fellow isn't hsg
swell, nassa, he talks llk. good
Locking man he made bow, dat's al
he said"
- A tutor Of a college, leeturing to
ayonng man onshis irregular conduct,
added with great patllas, .'The repoi !
OF yonr vices viii bring your father.
gray hairs with sorrow 10 the grave. =
81 beg yom pardon, sir," replied the
pupil, ''my father wears wig"
- A baby is problem PROFOUND
ed by the world. to he solved lv time.
geographically speaking short ar
ticle with heading in small ca ps.
Graphically speaking a morseI of hn-
manity, which is generally the adinira-
ton OF one SIX and the aggravation d
the other. Phil'osophieally speaking
moral lessons in long clothes, SCI before
US T. remind the gre Attest OF what they
once have been. and to worry the irrl-
table old bachelor.
- In attempting to carve tnwl
one day gentleman found consIdera-
BILE difficulty IN separating its ioints
and exclaimed against tie man who
had sold him AT Old hen for youn.
chicken. s8 NEa
My dear said the enraged man
wife. "don'B talk so much about the
aged and respectable Mr.. b.; he plant
the first hill az corn that was planted
In orr town."
II know that" said her husband
and 3elieNe this hen serai che,l II up.
- A droH fellow WAS asked BY an
old lady to read tile news paler, and
taking 1t up. began as follows:
Last night, yer er,lay morning. r.
bort two o'clock in the Afternoon. Just
before breakfast, ahimgry hoy. a6oni
forty years old. bnfght Zip cusrard
for levy, rau thro' b lex Wnll vii
feet thick. and jumping oyer II. broke
hs right ankle above the lrit knee. e. Il
ih.S dry mill pond aud wa drown :.
Apost fifty years after that. on the
same csY an old cat Ind nine trrka,
gobIets,Na high wind BLEW Yani.-e
Doodis sif'S igyingpHn. aud knork,.,i
Nht eid petoN ehusn down aud killed
SOW ana TWO, dead pigs vt Boston.
lug rench to his Arnr Abe.
The old lady. tsking long breath.
exslainsd-"Du tell"