The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1870-03-30
SpIiRters.
Smokers Proverb-'Tt's an i'll weed
that blows no body any good"

that blows no body any good"
Sentiment for Temperance Host
Drink to me, ONLY with thine eyes"
Office seekers cry. "Oh! that / were
an event, that might take place."
New Book-As Grave as Judge is
He. By the author of AS Red as a
Rose is She.n
Fritz says that at the lecture the
other evening, the audience was SO
quiet you could hear a bed tick.
Logic-Strang as it may seem, it is
nevertheless fact that if you cut off
your left hand your right becomes
your left hand.
1t is a mistake to suppose that Ire
land has any national language like
Wales, for example; it is merely pat
ois that some of the inhabitants speak.
There is kind of grim humor in the
address of a devout deacon to his new
ly-settled pastor as he gave him the
usuel welcome: "The Lord keep YOU
humble and we will keep you poor.'
A Connecticut farmer going on a
spree, gave his pigs large quantity of
meal, telling his neighbor that he had
given his hogs enough fodder to last
till he came back, if they were pru
dent in it.
The Board of Oyerseers of Harvard
University have voted that there
should be Increased requirement. in
mathematics in examinations for all
mission, and that this study should
hereafter be elective in the whole Col
lege course.
A Cincinnati woman, who had re-
ceived from the Relief Union an I'M
fashionable pair OF boots for her
daughter, promptly returned them
with the request: '.Please give me a
finer pair, and the tops high, for my
daughter wears her dress short
The Boston doctors have been hold
ing an inquest upon their "original
Cardiff giant" a minority report affirm
ing its antiquity, while the majority
regard it as the worst specimen of
modern sculpture ever exl,ibited-cven
in Boston.
is now rendered: "And Satan smote
Job with circumscribed subcutaneous
lnHamamat.Ons, characterized by point
ed tumors, and suppurating with cen
trail cores.D
The quantity of gold produced in
Nova Scotia from the date of the first
discovery of the precious metal to the
end of 1868, a period of eight years,
amounts to 100, 900 ounces. The best
year was 1867, when the yield amount
ed to 10000 ounces.
Some rich men have pledged large
sum for the establishment of q new uni
versity on the line of the Pacific Rail-
road, somewhere east of the Rocky
Mountains, and have selected Rev. H.
r. Timlow. of East Cambridge, Mass,
to locate it, and then to preside over it,
A Chicago milliner has been trans
hitting female matter, in the shape of
furs, etc, through the post-olfice, done
up III newspaper wrappers. She prob
ably thought that if a paper could be
sent as fur as she chose for two cents,
there was no reason why the fur should
not be sent as paper.
A young man iii Indiana worked all
last summer to clear an eighty acre
tract of land belonging to a young wo-
man who had promised to marry him.
When, just us the weather began TO
get cold, he went to claim his reward.
she married another fellow who had
looked on while the victim was work
ing.
A California paper says that there is
no difficulty in finding. either in Cali
fornia, Oregon or Washington Terrific
ry, farming districts now unoccupied,
which must become valuable and pop
uious, and it thinks these are the
places which laborers ont OF employ
mcnt should seek.
According to recent estimate the
population of the globe is ,22S 900, 900
souls. OF this number, $50 ,000, 900 be-
long to the Mongolian race 300 Co.,
600 to the Caucasian; 10000 600 TO
the Ethiopian; 10000, 900 to the Ma
lay, and 100000 to the Indo- Ameri
can race. The annual mortality is
over 81, 100000.