The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-11
WfiI ans Du,ttnr.


"A negro baby with ten fingers Of
each hand hos been born at Louisville
Bad news for chickens.
- The man who calls his wife
bird must be disappointed If she ask
him to buy her feathers.
- Why Is a mans coat larger whel
tho pulls It out Of carpet-bag? Be
cause he finds 1t Ill creases.
- An Iowa paper tells 1t reader
that they can get Oh nese lahore RS
wholesale, retail, pigtail.
- Why is a woman living up tw,
pair of stairs like a goddess Becaus,
she is a second Flora.
- See the sack open before vol
buy what is in it; for lie who trades Ii
the dark asks 20 to be cheated.
- The custem of throwing an ole
shoe After a newly married couple /:
deposited. The family now sing "Shoc
fly"
- An editor ont West gives vent
to his Indignation as follows: ale
that steals my purse, steals trash; but
he that stolc my umbrella-euss him. .
- A woman must be pretty when
she has a cataract in her eve, a water
fall on her head, creek in her back.
forty springs In her skirt, high tied
shoes and a notion in her head.
- An Indiana editor don't know
the difference between high mass, low
mass, and blue mass, although he has
been we'll brought up. He was brought
on windlass.
A Western paper, commenting
on the present high price of eggs, thinks
that "hsns could make piles If money
now by psyirg strict attention to busi-
ness"
a lecturer at Patterson New
Jersey, asked his audience In stento-
riaa tones. "What did Moses say ?''
.Shoo fly ~ Was the answer from a
dozen boys In the gallsry.
- A little three year old girl in
New Orleans recently AS, onished her
mother, who attempted to correct her
by motloning her away with her club
by little hand, scornrully saying, 'Shoc
fly, don't bodder me-"
- The small sewing machine
which some rascal in New York sends
to those people who respond to his adj
sertIsement by inclosing 81. is a shoe
makers awl worth about fifteen cents.
No man can do any thing against
his will" said q metaphy stefan to an
Irishman.
by jabers /" said Pat, 81 had n
brother that wint to Jail an faith.
know it was greatly against his own
WILL,
- negro was caught in n mans
garden at Roanoke, North Carolina,
the other Light, in close proximity TO
lot OF fine cabbage. When ;nterropat-
ed as TO what he was doing he replied:
"Good Lord! dis niger can't go no
whar to pray, without bein' troubled
by sompin."
- The French are cheerful race
and joke in things where no other PEG
pie whould think of looking for one.
a short time since steam boat expio.
sion blew Frenehnan's better half
into the bushes and eternity, whereup-
on the much bereayed husband OK
sllimed /: "Farewell much.steamed
wife !"
"A Memphis paper tells this anec.
dote An looking chap wan-
dered into the Mayors office the other
day. and asked permission to look at
the books in which the names of can.
dldates for office are entered The
SiSi N ~ ouuAy asheu. w nat 0Ilcc are |
you running for STRIP 10 which The |
other replied: well dunno: tbou0ht
I'd look over and 90 for any vacancv |
that might turn up. Pm beastly fond |
OF Ortis,
- Dir. O., OF Sycamore III.
riding in the country one tlay. saw a
sign upon gate post reading thus;
"This farm tor SAIL"
stopping his horse, hailed a little old |
woman, who stopped on tip-toc hang
lug OFT clothes. Il say, Madam. when
is this farm going to sdii?''
"Just rs soon, sir" replied the old
lady, placing her thumb to her nose.
"as any body GENES along who can
The doctor drove.thoughtfully on.
- Debt is a trap which man sets
and bats himself, and then deliberate.
ly gets into-and ketches a kussid
phool.
Tew get wrong things out of yure
ehiidreh's hesds-comb them often.
III you want 20 get sure kron and
big yield sow wild oate.
TeW milk a kicking COW. ktand onh
abott ton foot, aud holler. $50 darn
you."
Tew find the square root OF n hoo,s
n"se. turn hlmi into garden patch
J. B.
- There was knot o. sea-captai,ts
in a store ut Honolulu, the keeper Of
which had just bought a barrel of black
pepper. Old Captain--, of SALEM
came IN and seeing the pepper. took M
q handful of it. "
What did ron buy such stuff as that
Tor said he to the shopkeeper, it's
half peas.
peas J! replied the storekeeper.
there isn't 4 pea in it.
Taking up a handful as he spoke. he
appealed to the company. They ali
looked At 1t, and plunged their hands
into the barrel, and bit kernel or so.
sud Then gave it as their ii...,yersal opin-
ION ma there wasn't pea ia il.
zen we there is said tile old can
5 ,a1i AGAIN seooping up handful and
~, Ne old Boston argument all ov.r
me World, They took hin, IN 'ii over
mell, said he, spell that. po;nt;nn
- 'ne "oru 'P-e-p-p-e-r,' paintei -
ie sue OF the barul. ,If IL isn,, u,i
= men IN 10 .Iufl0n he - :, hstli I