The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-01-21
lMISCELLANEeUS ITEMS.

BuH4lOs Ieceip5 OF nogS averaged
one and half per minute last year.
Troubles are like babies; they grow
big by nursing.
Lucy Stone Hkens boys to vinegar-
the more "mother" in them the Sharp
or they are.
Why should children never be teken
to artists studios? Because Of them
easels (measels) there.
: What Is the difference between n
pin and a hill? One is hard to get uD.
and the other is hard to get down.
In Floyd county, and New Albany.
Indiana, there have been, from 1919
to 1870 inclusive, 6,71S weddings.
a little girl in Milwaukee has col
lected 200 buttons, all unlike. She
would like to learn of party having
4 like number of button holes.
a London mercantile house has pro-
\ hlolted Its clerks from wearing NOUS
tacnes, and certain London girls are
indignant.
An exchange has the following: "a
young lady at KeOkuk, Iowa, has had
her under.jaw amputated, and her
occupation is gone. She is in great
demand among young men who want
to marry.
Papa" said Mr.. Browns Youngest
son the other day, lean l go to the
clrcus?" 'NO, my boy" affection
ately replied Mr.. Brown; eff YOU are
good boy 1 will take you out to see
ing.D
An indianapolis councilman I'm a
recent speech, said: "Any judge who
would issue such an order as that of
Judge Hines is a jackass ~ Forget
ting himself little further on, he
! added, "And 1 am the peer of such
man ~
who's that gentleman, my little
man?' was asked of an urchin. s"Ihat
one with the spike-tailed coat ?''-
"Ges, " was the response. "Why, he's
brevet uncle of mine" "How's
that ~ was asked. cause he's en-
gagged to my aunt Mary"
''BOy, may inquire where Robin
sons drug store is?'' Certainly, sir,u
responded the boy, very respectfully.
"Well, sir" said the gentleman
waiting awhile, ''where is it?u al
have not the least idea, your Honor"
said the urehin.
Pease is the name of a well-known
teacher inBangor, Me. A youth
named Bean, who attends his school,
was reciting his lesson one day, and
hesitated a moment, when the teach
er remarked; at takes beans a a long
time to sprOut." 'tNO longer than
peas, sir" replied the boy.
Sarah Hawkins, now one hundred
and two years old, came to Ohio i'm
1906, and settled near New Burlington,
where she still lives in good health
She has had seven children, twenty
nine grandchildren, seventy-nine
great grandchildren. All of these
one hundred and sixteen are now liv-
ing.
\ countryman stopped ut tele-
graph window in ROckpOrt, Me-,
few days ago, where a young lady was
receiving dispatches, and after look
paniOn, "Say, Bill, just you come and
see 'em make paper collars! Don't
she know her biz, hey, Bill%
The treasurer Of a church in Sioux
City was startled the other night, to
find one of his pew-hOlders come in
and join his party in playing faro
Neither spoke until No. 2 pushed
some chips across the table and said
quietly: "JOhn, just give me credit
for that amount upon my pew rent v
A little fOur-year-Old son of one of
our friends, of the ancient faith of Is
rael, said, on Thursday, to his moth
er: Mamma, may / fire crackers on
Saturday." mo, my son; Saturday
is your Sabbath "Well, it is Christ
mas, too" "But you have nothing
to do with Christmas" Son, [sObbingl
II dOn't-see-why-the-Chris-
tians-shOuld-have-all-the-fun."
N Y Picdylnle.
Mark Twain produces one of the
most striking cases of meanness on
record. He says he knows of ian in
corpOrated society which hired a man
te blast n rock, and he was punching
powder in hole with q crOwbar when
a premature explosion followed, send
ing the man and crOwbar out of sight;
and the man went to work again
promptly. But though he was gone
only fifteen minutes, the company
"dOcked him for lost time.u
The same God who moulded out the
sun and kindled the stars, watches
the flight of the insects. He who bal
ances the clouds, and hung the earth
upon nothing, notices the fall Of the
sparrow. He who gave Saturn his
two rings, and placed the moon like a
ball of silver, in the broad arch of
heaven, giver the rose its elegant tint.
And the same Being notices equally
the praises of the cherubim, and the
prayers of the little child.
We don't know exactly why, but il
there is anything i'm this world which
is ridiculous, il is a duel between two
Doctors Of Medicine, although almost
auy duel has come to be lauphable i'm
this country. Two young medical
men fought last week near the Ken
lucky and Tennessee line; or, at least,
they would have fought, only they
made up matters upon the field, with
out drawing one single drop Of each
others vital fluid-which, considering
that they were both professional phle- |
bOtOmists, and familiar with death,
strikes one as absurd. However, each
came out of the affair with unperfOra-
ted hearts; but in case of sickness Of
either, we don't think that it would be
exactly prudent for ono to call on the
other.