The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1870-12-01
hit and H2t771Or.

The colors Of storm-blew.
An inn Notwithstanding bar.
A pound of fesh-A prize fight.
Backgammon-a lady's waterfall.
Match manufactory--a race course.
More people run for Office than reach it.
Tight drawers-A couple of artist on a
spree.
Children are actually kers-thcy cut
teeth.
A hourishing business-Ornamenta pen
manship.
The ship that everybody likcs-Good fell
lowship.
When the iron is most ironical? When it
is a railing.
What are the best letters of recommends
ton e. s. d.
A friend at pinch-One who shares his
snuff box with you.
Lawyers get their living by plumber. and
doctors by pill age.
mo lcSS tlidu tIiICo sOuS IuIdsueu
their fathers last week.
Housewives motto-whatever thou dost,
dust it with all thy might.
"I'm off whan you talk of working" as the
cork said to the ginger pop.
No class put more real feeling into their
vocation than the pickpocket
A Memphis poet describes dueling as ''this
wart on a Christian age"
Some one calls the time of squeezing girls
hands the palmy season Of life.
Skating has commenced in some parts of
the country-but it is on rollers.
There are various stations in life, but the
least desirable is police station.
What relation does tenant bear to his
landlord! A payrent.al relation.
People who live to "ripe old age" cannot
be blamed for getting "soft."
Why is a king who can't talk like his
dominions? Because he is king dumb
What species of love is that which is never
reciprocated A neuralgia affection
Our old friend, that pieneer with his 107
years of age, is just making new tour
Breaking and entering is not always crime
for instance an egg at breakfast.
It's SO long since Grant paid for anything |
that he can't even bear joke at his expense
A man in Boston is SO short that when he |
is i'll he doesn't know whether he has head
ache or corns.
A model surgical operation-To take the
cheek out of young man, and the jaw out of
q woman.
Eli Shu is the name of one of the oldest of
The Chinese deities. His name got mixed in
coming across.
Name the most unsociable things in the
world. Milestones for you never see two of
them together.
Because room should be airy it does not
ioilow that ones manners ought to be Of e
ike character.
Why are horses in cold weather like med
llesome gossips? Because they are the bear.
rs Of idle tails.
Because club belongs to policeman does
t necessarily follow that policeman belongs
o club.
Diggory says he always respects old age,
Except when some one cheats him with pair
# tough chickens.
When man falls down in the street he is
generally set up, and when he is set up he is
cry likely to fall down.
Can couple who have contracted clan
estine marriage be properly said to be carry
,g out their clandestiny?
Some one wrote in hotel visitors book tt
is initials, GA. S" A wag wrote under g
cath, 1.-TWO thirds Of the truth" -
Good words are not always indications of a =
pod heart. Even the lionesss first counsel q
her cubs-"let us prey"
One Partisan to another: "My wife is half th
lad at the idea Of siege" "Courage my
lend" was the reply, Gin this world one is m
yer completely happy" an
Sawdust pills, says an old physician, would
eetually cure Macy Of the diseases with =
,ich aank ind is afflicted, if every patient \