The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-04-22
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.

Marriage is fair transaction on the
tace of it.
Bus there IL quite too often put up
jobs in it.
II isau old institasbun, much older
thln the pyramids. and as iull ov l'y-
logiyphicks that nobody can parse.
History holds its tangue who the pair
wuz "A ho fus5 nut on the silken harness.
and pro,nised tpw work Kind In il. thru
tlIIck nnei thin, M lnil and down. ana oh
the level, rain or shine, sarv We or per-
ish, sink ~. swan. drown or ho'e.
But whoever II ey WIZ, thfy musf
hay made good thing ont oy II, or ="
menn, ov their posteTity would not nav
harnessed up since and tlrov out.
There is CRATE moral grip III mai
riage; 1t il the mortar that helds The
soshul bricks together.
But there ain't bat darn few pholks
who put their mnaey In n,atrimony,
who could set down and CIV a gooh
written opiIiyun whi OH arth they cum
tn did it.
This is CRATE proof that il is one cv
thsen natural kind ov aksidrhts that
must ha pnrn, list az birds ny out oy
the nest when they hav. feathers ehiiii.
without be in able tew tell why.
Sum marry tor buty. and never dis
koyer their mistake. This liz lucky
Sum marry Tor pedigree. aud feel mig
for ak months, and then very s,'ilsibiy
cn m 70 the konklHsion that pedigree
ain I no be. ter than skim mlik.
Sum marry to plrze their relashnns.
and are silrpfiz,d tew learn thai thf-ir
relashniis don't care cuss for tDo:D al
terwards. e
sun, marry bekaHse they ltav been
hgh~ted sun WHARF Else; this " u cross
match, a bav and a sorrei; pride may
make .sndirable.
Sum marry for love. Without a cent
ia tAsir pocket. nor friend III IN"
! world. nor drol, ~ redigeee. THIS
lock dcspe rate. bat II is the Sbeath Of The
If f.narryiniof@ov air TIA suckeess.
then matrmony IL d.d beet.
n,' - I,e skarA next year. aud i've
tewwonder huss the trop ll' Ids ont. .
Sem marry to get rd of themselves.
and d. skover that the game waz one
tnat two could pay at, and neither
win. M
Sum marry the seckund time tcw get
even. and find it IA gambling game
the more they put down., the less they
take up.
sum mary few be happy. and not
! finding ii, wonder where all the happi-
| ness sues to when II dies.
sum NAL ry they kant viii, and liv
they kant tell how.
Almost .ieoerv boldly gifts married
| and il iz a good joke.
| Sun. marry in haste, and then set
Down aud think it karetul over.
SWm think il kare'nl over fust, and
then set down and u}arry.
! Both ways are right |: they hit th'
mark.
sum marry rakes tew convert them'
this IL n little risky, and takes sinar
missionary taw do. II.
Sum marry coquetts; thisiz like buy
ing poor farm. hevily morgaged, am
working he balance Nv yure daysteN
clear oph the mortgage.
Married life haz lis chances. and thu
is inst what gives IT its hyor. Evei
boldly uvs tew phool with the cilaner
hekatise every boldly expects cew win
But am authorized tew state that ev
erv boldly don't win.
Bat. niter all. married lie is ft,l d
certain AZ the dry goods dizziness.
No man kan sware exactly where b
win fitch up when ~ touches kalco.
No man can tell iist What kalico IA
made NJ, It's .niHd tew d" next.
Ksl co don't kno evan herself.
Dri ronds ov all kinds IL the child o
circumstances.
r Srm never marry, but this IL list n
: risky: thr diseaze IL the same, With n
other name few It,.
: The man who stands on the bank shi'
: veriny. and dissent. IL more apt IL
! keteh cold than him who pitches Eea
: fust info ineyrivi4r.
There il hnt few who never MARI
. hekausr they wonf they all hank"
: and most ov them starye With slices
p bread hrfnre them. t~pred on Both sides
: list for the lack OK grit.
Mdrry yung IL mi motto.
}, have trie it, and kno wfat a
+" talkin about.
Iftunv boldly asks w whi WI g
mprried III it needs be,) tell him w do'
f., rekollect
Mari age IL safe wav tew ga,nbl. {
: if won win. Won win a pile. and " "
/ lose. You don't lose ANYTHING. only q
'e privilege ef living dismally alone. al
soakiu vure own feet.
n i repeat il. in ,tahcks. rlcrry Ving.
Al There IL bnt on" good excuse ter
h marriage late in life, and thatlz-a S
% ond marriage.