The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1870-09-16
VOL. XIV.---NO. 81

II they put him in a book he wouldn't ever
see 1t, or even if they did get the book out
before he died, it would not be popular
without any picture of his funeral in the
back part oft. 1t couldn't be much of a
Sunday-school book that couldn't tell
ABOUT the advice he gave to the community
when he was dying. So, at last he had to
make up his mind to do the best he could
under the circumstances-to live right.
hang on as long as he could, and have his
dying speech all ready when his time came.
But somehow, nothing ever went right
with him as it did with the good little
boys in the books. They always had
good time, and the bad boys had the brok-
en- legs; but in his case there was a screw
loose somewhere, and it all happened inst
the other way. When he found jim Blake
stealing apples, and went under the tree to
read to him about the bad little boy who
fell out OF neighbours apple tree, and
broke his arm, Jim fell out Of the tree too
but he fell on him, and broke his arm. And
jim wasn't hurt at all. Jacob couldn't I'm
derstand that. There wasn't anything in
the books about it, And once, when some
bad boys pushed blind man over in the mud
and Jacob ian to help him up and blessing
the blind man did not give him any bless
ing at all, but whacked him over the head
with his stick and said he would like to
catch him showing him again and then pre-
tending to help him up. This was not in
accordance with any of the books. Jacob
looked them all over to see.
One thing Jacob wanted to do was To
find lame dog that hadn't any place to
stay, and was hungry and prosecuted, and
bring him home and pet him and have
that dogs imperishable gratitude. And
at last he found one, and was happy; and
he brought him home and fed him,
but when he was going to pet him the
dog flew at him and tore all the clothes off
him except those that were in front, and
made spectacle of him that was astonisb
lug. He examined authorities, but he
could not understand the matter. 1t was
OF the same breed of dogs that was in the
books, but it acted very differently
Whatever this boy did, he got into trouble.
The very things the boys in the books
got rewarded for turned out to be about
the most Improbable things he could in
vest in.
Once when he was on his way to Sun
day school he saw some bad boys starting
off pleasuring in a sail-boat. He was fill
ed with CONSERVATION, because he knew
from his reading that boys who went sail
ing on Sunday invariably got drowned.
so he ran out on a raft to warn them, but
log turned with him and slid him into
the river. A man got him out pretty soon,
and the doctor pumped the water out of
him, and gave him fresh start with his
bellows, but he caught cold and Law sick
abed nine weeks. But the most unaccoun-
able thing about it was that the bad bows
in the boat had good time all day, and
reached home alive and well, in the most
surprising manner. Jacob Blivens said
there was nothing like these things in the
books. He was perfectly dumbfounded.
When he got we'll he was little dis
couraged, but he resolved to keep on try
ing, anyhow. He knew that so far his ex-
perlence wouldn't do to put in book, but
he hadn't yet reaceed the allotted term of
life for good little boys, and he hoped to
be able to make a record yet, if he could
hold on till his time was fully up. If
everything else failed, he had his diving
speech to fall back on.
He examined his authorities, and found
that 1t was now quite time for him to go
to sea as a cabin boy. He called on shin
captain and made his application, and
when the captain asked for his recommends
WIN az P'ouN'iJ tICW OuI IL lTuCI anu point
ed to the words: "To Jacob Biiyens
from his affectionate teacher" But the
captain was coarse, vulgar man, and he
said, cob, that be bowed; that wasn't
any proof that he knew how to wash dish
es or handle slush- bucket, and he guess
ed he didn't want him. This was alto.
gether the most extraordinary thing that
ever happened to Jacob in all his life. A
| com lmpnt from fannhor L. 4
never failed to move the tenderest emotions
of ship captains and open the way to all
offices of honor and profit in their gift
it never had in any book that ever he had
read. He could hardly believe his senses,
This boy always had hard time of it.
Nothing ever came out according to the
authorities with him. At last, one day
when he was around hunting up bad little
boys to admonish, he found lot of them
in the old iron foundry, fixing up little
joke on fourteen or fifteen dogs which the,
had tied together in long procession, and
were going to ornament with empty nitro
glycerine cans made fast to their tails.
Jacobs heart was touched. He sat down.
on one of those cans--for he never minded
grease when duty was before him and he
took hold of the foremost dog by the collar,
and turned his reproving eye upon wicked
Tom Jones. But just at that moment AL
derman McWelter, full of wraths stepped
in. All the bad boys ran away, but Jacob
Blivens rose in conscious innocence and be-
gan one of those stately little Sunday
school book speeches which always COM
mence with ooh, Sirw in dead opposi-
ton to the fact that no boy, good or bad,
ever starts a remark with "Oh, Sir !" But
the Alderman never waited to hear the
rest. He took Jacob Blivens by the ear
and turned him around, and hit him a
whack in the rear with the fiat of his hand;
and in an instant that good little boy shot
out through the roof and scared away to-
ward the sun with the fragments of those
fifteen dogs stringing after him like the
tail ola kite. And there wasn't sign of
that Alderman or that old iron foundry
left on the face of the earth and as for
young Jacob Blivens, he never got a
chance to make his last dying speech al
ter all his trouble fixing it up unless he
made it to the birds, because, although
the bulk of him came down all right in II
tree-top in an adjoining county, the rest of
him was apportioned around among four
townships, and so they had to hold five
inquests on him to find out whether he
| woa lao1 or not and how if occurral