The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-10-17

IN an obituary notice of little
Kansas baby seven months old, we
find the following griet-provoking
stanza: -
OR cottage, aye, ts lonesome now,
We see the DIRE IS and bib. s
Bat not the eye and noble brow a.
FRAT fiied her empty erib. ~
Now, if the eye of the deceased
badly was SO large and her brow so
expansive as to fill the empty crib,
whatan infant Hercules it must have
been. 9
How Is'it, my dear that you have
never kindled fame In the bosom of
a man?" ssid an old lady to a pretty
niece who was portionless. 1.-THE
reason, DEAR replied the young lady,
lis as you well know, that | am not
coed match" G1 G O.
1T is strange, says the Louisville
Courier Journal, how some men will
attempt to deceive the Almighty. For
instance, at q suburban church last
Sunday, one OF the congregation de-
Voutly joined in singing the hymn
No foot OF land do posses 80
No cottage in ta1s wilderness; "a
A poor wayfaring man, etc..
knowing atthe same time that every
body present knew that he owns the
finest villa inthe sneighborhood, and
at least three thousand acres Of the
best-fand in Texas. HS a.
In Trenton a petriied cat has been
found under the ftoor ofachurohVes-
try. AAShe was probably starved to
death while looking for church mice,
which are preVerbially poor. an
A BRIDEdRooM at Richmond, Va,
the other day, wassso charmed by the
prospect ofswedded bliss that he for
got TO procpre q license, aud keptsthe
wedding party IN the church for nearly
two hours, while be went to hunt up
the Clerk Of Hastings Court.
PaoFEssoR CoeKER. Of Michigan
University. an Englishman himself,
spent the sanmersin the oldhooun-
try, land tells the story that oneswell
informed person @demonstrated- to
him The impossibility of Americas
becoming great nation, because she
had no coob aud expressed aeon
meniable degree of surprise when he
learned thae.When We had scooped. all
the coal ukof some of our districts
their little Island could be dropped
cleaf-0ut oRsight lathe hole. g
Waea is a lady not . lady .whensDe is
whan is . man not MANI When he is
q shaving.
The above are some of those -sasy
and absurd oonundrums that some
peoplear so tickled at. ANY editor
whoaCan DO guilty of such perpetra
tion'O9ght to be seized by the police
and dragged TO the Asylum for con
firmed p unsters. This sort of thing
is demoralEing and degrading to
journalismg tits easy enough to do
it and think aboutseVeral other mat
tiers gtthe same time. We will i'm
provise a few specimens-after the
above cheap patterns-merely as a
warning to our Contemporaries. -
WHEN is. wife not a wife? When
she is q railing. ~ -
WHEN is q letter writer not letter
writer? When he is a ceiling.
WHEN issa bed not a bed? When
it is a little buggy g
Why is a cat skin muff disreputa.
bleH Because it is low fur. g
WHEN is baby like a spoon
When it is a tee thing.
When has an invalid got to pine
When he is a,coughin', &C., &C., Ne.
What is there about such a pursuit
calculated to elevate the. immortal
mind? Nothing-absolutely nothing
Il is an .employment unWOrthyof {
person, WHO'S of any value to thesact
i've world, aud should be given ovel
to George Francis Train, Louis Ma
poleou, and other such leisure-atHict-
cd trifers.- Chicago Post. ~