Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1870-07-21
Miseellanu.
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.


gentleman IL gentleman the world
over-loafers differ.
Benevolence is the cream that riZes on
the milk ov human kindness.
Courage without discretion IL ram
with horns on both ends--he will hey
more tites in hand than he ken well attend
to.
Hunting after happiness IL like hunting
after lost sheep in the wilderness: when
yu find it the chances are that it iz q skel-
tton.
A dog is the only animal kritter who
luvs yu more than he luvs himself.
There IL no more real satisfaction in lay
ing up in yure buzzum an injury than there
IL i'll stuffng a dead hornet, who haz stung
yu, and keeping him tew look at.
Old friends are like old cheese, the
strongest.
Lies are like illegitimate children-they
are liable tew call a man Father" when
he least expecks it.
All money that IL well spent IL good
investment.
If we could all ov us take kare ov our
own souls, and let our nabors alone,
thare would be less time lost, and more
souls saved.
Contentment is the yittles and drink ov
the soul
Did you ever hear son Dragging about
hiz father, whoze father could with justiss
brag about hiz son?
The safest kind ov faith kno oy is hu-
manity.
The man who never makes any mis-
takes, like the angle-worm, never gifts far
away from hiz hole.
| brilliant blunder in writer IL often
one oy his best hits
Tyranny IL often changed. but never
destroyed.
Sucking whipt sillybub, thru rhv
straw. IL a good deal like trieing tew liv
on buty.
| never knu a profound phool yet who
did not aifekt gravity, nor q truly wise
man whose face was not alwus cooked
and primed for laugh.
! Prudery IL nothing more than coquetry
gone to seed.
New York city IL fasst place-yu kant
even pass phuneral procession unless WI
hav got the fastest hoss.
Truth haz hardly clothing enuff tew
hide its nakedness,
A pompous man iz like full-blown
bladder; it IL pure malice tew prick him.
The money and morality NV this world
are good deal alike. the principle never
loses sight of the interest.
Pity costs nothing and aint worth
nothing.
What men kant do they are apt to ad-
mire-they don't criticise mountain. be-
kause they kant make one.
Poverty IL one ov them kind ov misfor-
tunes that we all of us dread, but none Oy
us pity.
There il lots ov people in this world
who covet misfortunes, just for the luxury
ov grunting.
1t IL comparatively easy few repent ov
the sins that VIC hav committed, but tew
repent ov those which we intend tew to
commit is asking tew mutch of emmy man
nowadays.
thank God for one thing, and that il.
when eyerybuddy else is happy, am sure
to be.
Most men go thru life as rivers go to
the sea, bi bifollowing the lay Nv the ground
In youth we run into diffikultys, in old
age difiikultys run into us.
Times amt as they used tew be-
this haz been the sollum and wize remark
ov mankind ever since Adam was boy.
Secrets are poor property at the best; if
you circulate them YOU lose the interest
on the investment
Prosecuted for the Devils sake, IL what
sinners get for their allegiance.
Sum people won't beleave anything
they kant prove the things can't prove
are the very things beleave the most
Pride never shows itsef more disgust
| ingly than in the pomp ov phuneral.
| Happiness IL not idleness, but its spirit
il as free from labor az the life of yearl-
ing heifer.
Good examples amung the rulers are
the best laws they kan enakr.
The devil IL probably the best judge ov
human natur that ever lived, and he must
hav beleayed in the doktrine ov total de-
pravity. or he wouldn't hav undertook tew
tempt the Saviour.
A gentleman about town" IL one who
pays cash for everything except his debts.
Money IL like charity-it kivvers null
titude of sins.
A pedant IL one who fills himself in
cellar with the klam broth ov literature,
and then picks his teeth in the society ov
the learned.
There IL but little if emmy ceremony be-
tween two wize men, but between wize
man and phool ceremony iz the only
thing that will make phool feel respekta-
BILE.
When you find man who IL very soils
titus about the wellfair ov everybody, yu
kan safely put him az one who il hunting
for a misfortune.
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