Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1870-03-29
MISCELLANEOUS.
How Mike Rode the Bull.

Mike took notion to 60 In swimming, and
he had just got his clothes off when he saw
Deacon Smiths bull making at, him. The
bull was vicious animal, and had come near
killing. two or three persons, consequently
Mike felt rather 'jubus." He didn't want
to call for help, for he was naked, and the
nearest pluce from whence assistance could ar
rive was the meeting house. which was at the
time filled with worshipers, among whom was
the '.gal Mike was paying his devours to-
So he lodged the BULL us the animal came at
him and managed to catch him by the tail.
He was dragged round till he was nearly dead,
and when he thought, he could hold out no
longer, be made up his mind he had better
holler.
And now we will let him tell his own
story
$50 looking at the matter in all its bearings,
l cum to the conclusion that I'd better let
some one know whar / was. So gin yell,
louder than locomotive whistle, and it warn't
long before [ seed the deacon's two dogs COM
could get there first. l KnOw'd who they
we're arter-they'd jine the bull og'in me-
go" sez I, cold brndle, as riGiin' is as cheep
as walkiu' on this route if you We no objections,
I'll list take deck passage on that ar back O.
astride of him. Then if you'd been thar,
you'd have sworn thar warn't nothing human
in that mix, the sile flew so orfully, as the
critter and | rolled round the feld-one dog
on one side, and one on the other, trying to
clinch my feet [ prayed and cussed, and
cussed and prayed, until | couldn't tell which
] did at last-and neither warn't Of no use,
they were so oriully mixed up.
7 I ,.i, Il ho1f Iorr
this way, when old briDdle thought it was
time to stop and take in supply of wind and
cool off little. So when we got round to
sez 1, old boy you'll lose one passenger sartain.
So just clum up branch, kalkerlating to
roost there till | starved alore I'd be rid
around that way any longer. war ma
king tracks for the top Of the tree when
heard sumthin making an oriul buzzin
overhead, L kinder looked up, and if thar
wasu't-well, thar's no use swearin'-but it
war the biggest hornets nest ever bilt. You'll
gin in now reckon, Mike, because there's no
help for you. But an idea struck me then
that l stood heap better chance rdin the
bull than whar 1, was. Sez old feler, if
you'll hold on. I'll ride TO tho next station
anyhow, let that be whar it will.
$50 L jist dropped aboard him again, and
looked ulGft to see what had gained by
chaugin' quartes, and gentlemen, I'm liar if
thar warn't nigh half bushel Of the stiugin
varments ready TO pitch into me when the
word ''go" was gin. Well reckon they got
it, for 'alI hands" started for our company
Some on em hit the dogs, about quart struck
me, and the rest charged on brindlQ.
"Thisitime the--dogs led off fust dead bent
for old deacons, and as soon as old brinde
and could get away we followed, and as
l was only deck passenger, had nothing to
do with the steerin' the craft; if L had we
shouldn't have run that channel anyhow
But as | said before, the dogs took the lead
-brindle holierin," and the hornets buzzin'
and stingin.
"Well, VIC had got about two hundred yards
from the house, and the deacon heard us, and
cum out [ seed him hold up his hand and
turn white. reckon he was prayin' then, for
he didn't expect to be called for so soon, and
it warn't long neither afore the whole con-
gregation-men women and children-cum
out, and then all hands went to yellin'. None
of EN- had the fust notion that brindle and |
belonged to this world. just turned my
head and passed the whole congregation. L
seed the run would be up soon, for brindle
cOuldn turn n men from fence that stood
dead ahed. Well, we reached that fence, and
1 went ashore, over the old critters head, land
ing on the other side, and lay there stunned
cit warn't long afore some Of them as was not
SCARED, came runnin' to see whar | war for
all hands kalkerlated that the bull and be-.
longed together. But when brindle walked
off by himself, they saw how it war and one
Of them said:
"NIike Finck has got the scrummage once
in his life"
Gentlemen, from that day dropped the
courtin bizness, and never spoke to a girl
since, and when my hunt is up upon this
yearth, there won't be any more Flincks, and
its all owin'to deacon Smiths brindle bull"
Coal OIL FOR BEE STINGs.-I have a
new remedy for bee sting. a gentleman
II.