Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1870-04-19
Why Aunt Sally Never Married.

minister, anu PROMISED LnaC you WOuIQ
tell US all about it sometime. Now,
Aunt, please do"
"Well, if ever did see such girls
ia all my born days. It's tease, tease
from morning till night, but what you
must know everything thatyou haven't
any business to know anything about.
Such inquisitive, pestilerous critters
as you are! When was young, girls
were different: they minded their
business, they didn't 90 sailing around
with whole string of beaux, getting
their heads filled with all kinds OF
nonsense. Inever dared to ask my
aunts, married or single, about any
of their sffairs. Pretty mess Id got
in if | had. When they offered to tell
NE anything of their own accord, |
kept my mouth shut and listened
Everything is different now days
young folks have no respect for their
elders. Bnt as l see | am not going
TO have any peace till | do tell, why
Just listen, and don't let me hear a
word out of one of your mouths till
get through
That's right, Aunt Sally, go right
ahead 60, and We will keep perfectly
still
"Well you see, when | was about
seventeen years old, | was living in
Utica, in the State Of New York
Though l say it myself, | was quite q
good looking girl then, and had sever
al beauX. The one that took my fan
cy most was a young minister, very
promising young man and remarkably
pious and steady. He thought 9
good deal of me, and had kind ol a
fancy to him, and things ran on till We
were engaged"
Zone evening he came to mel re
member it as well as if it were only
yesterday. When he came into the
parlor, where I was sitting alone, be
came up to NE and-but now pshaw
girls, | don't like to tell the rest.
"Oh. Aunt Sally, for mercy's sake
don't stop; tell US what he did"
"Well, as said, he came up to me
and put his arms around me, and rath
er hugged me, while [ got excited anC
some frustrated and it was a loue
time ago, and | don't know but wha
| might have hugged him back a little
Then | felt-but now Just clear out
every one of you, I shant tell yol
any more. -
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt sally
tell US how you felt. Didn't you fee
good, and what did he do next p
"Oh, such torments as you are?
was like any other girl, aud pretty
soon pretended to be mad about it
and pushed him away. though | WASH
mad a bit. You must know that th,
house where | lived was on one 0
the back streets Of the town. Their,
, were windows in the parIor, whicI
opened right out over the street, anC
no balcony or anything OF the kind il
front Of the house. As it was in tn,
summer season these doors were open
ed and shutters Just down too.
stepped back little from him, an,
when he edged up close | pushed hin
away again. | pushed harder than
. intended to, and don't you think, girls
the poor fellow lost his balance an,
i fell through one Of the doors into th
street? Yes. it's so. As he fell
gave a scream and caught him but
declare l won't tell any more. III
going to leave the room.
No, no, Aunt Sally! How did yo
catch him? Did it hurt him much ?7
"Wen, if | must, | must. He fe
> head first, and as he was going
= caught him by the leg of his trowser.
i | held on for a minute and tried t
: pull him back. but his suspender
= gave away, and the poor Young ma
fell clear out Of his pantaloons into
whole parcel ofyoung ladies and gel
tlemen passing on the street"
/ "Oh, Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, LQrdy
! He, he, he, p
S There, that's right; giggIe an
squeal as much as you want to. Cir
5 that cant hear about little thing lib
- that without tearing around the roo1
l. and he-heing in such q way, don
E. know enough to come home when
u rains. A nice time the man that eve
J. marries one of you will have, won
e he? Catch me telling anything agair
r. But Aunt Sally, what became
$ him? Did you ever see him again
e mo, the moment he touched tt
e ground he got up and left that plat
y in a terrible hurry. tell you it W;
ol a sight to be remembered. to see no
IN that man did run. Father happent
III to be coming up the street at Il
y time, and he said he never saw an
IL thing to equal it in his whole life.
.; heard others say that he did the faS
ID est running ever known in that pa
d of the country, and that he new
u stopped and looked behind until
tn was two miles out of town. He Sc
~ me a note few days afterwards sa
~ ing that the engagement must be bro
en- of, as he never could look me
n the face again after what had happe
ed.
>, He went out West, and | belle
La he is preaching in Illinois. But
never married. He was very mode
or and | suppose he was so badly frigl
ened that he never dared trust hi
70 self near a woman again. That, cir
~ is the reason l never married. f
- very bad about it for long time,
Oh he was a real good man, and I've oft
"a thought to myself that we should ha
been happy if his suspenders had
IN. giren 1cay.
A PRoBLEM.-The Ohio State 10,
nal publishes the following, which
To- said to be a nut not easily cracked
lal In one Of the smaller New Engla
5h- towns an agent was appointed to s
alcoholic liquors at salary of tweI
er- five dollars per annum; he was fu
'en ished with liquors valued at $57.
, it and with S32.19 in cash to CONNER
business during the year he purch
re- ed liquors to the amount of $50
ac- and received forliquors sold $l02
At the end Of the year he had liqu,
ex- on hand valued at $31.37. Did