The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-09-08
SoissOrinotunl.

"i'N'n III lOuT heau Will uuOTu you; Dut
beth your necessity will serve you.
A little boy out West was asked if he
knew where liars went, and answered, yes,
they went to New York to write for the
papers.
Two twin brothers in New York are so
much alike that they frequently borrow
money from one another without knowing
it.
A man in Pottsville, Pennsylvania, set
a trap in his chicken coop, and in the
morning found a thumb in it. The thumb
had formerly been the property of col
orod person.
The Mormons now trot out a woman
who has married her brother, and chal-
lenge New England to show anything like
it. Will Boston be beaten in sociability
in that wayl
"It wasn't so very late-only quarter
of twelve" "How dare you sit there and
tell me that lie? l looked at my watch
and it was three O'clock" "Well, isn't
three quarter of twelve 2"
Speaking of last words, that was stri-
king ly appropriate remark of California
stage driver, who on his death bed was
visited by brother "whip." Said he,
"Bill, Pm on the down grade, and can't
reach the brake"
The census will show decrease of from
six to ten thousand in the population of
New Hampshire. This is the first inst
ance of loss of population by State
since the formation of the Constitution.
A man in Polk county, Missouri, who
committed suicide, took the precaution to
write in the sand, 81 am mad" AS his
wife had run off with negro, it is rather
to be supposed that he was.
A wild cat attempted to take a baby
out of its cradle in cabin near Maukato,
Minnesota, but little black and tan dog
attacked it and fought it until the mother
came in and drove the wild beast of with
a brand of fire.
A young gentleman of only six was be-
set by baby of eighteen months, with
decided manifestations of fondness. "DC
you not see, Johnny, that the baby wants
to talk to you :" said his mother. "Yes
ma'am, it's cause he takes me for his pa
pa" was the reply.
Lawyer-"How do you identify this
handkerchief" Witness-"By its gener.
al appearance, and the fact that l have
others like it." Lawyer-"That is nc
proof, for have one just like it in my
pocket" Witness-"I don't doubt it, az
had more than one of the same sort sto.
len."
An indianapolis German recently had
occasion to bury large wife, and SQUAD.
bled with the sexton about the fee. "Dat
ish not a big grave" said the disconsOlate
husband. "Not big grave" Indignantly
replied the sexton; "why, d-n it, that's
a cellar"
A German statistical writer remarks
that the invention of the sewing machine
has enabled one woman to sew as much as
hundred could by hand century ago.
But, he continues, one woman now de-
mands as much clothing as hundred did
a century ago-so that matters are not
much changed after all.
A long continued drouth il New Eng.
land recalls the story Of minister of New
Hampshire who prayed for rain in this
fashion: "Oh, Lord, we pray for rain. Not
tearin', drivin' rain, such as harrers up
the face of natur', but drizzlin', sozzlin'
rain, such as lasts all day and pretty much
all night"
A farmer went to Troy few days ago
and kissed another mans wife, and though
the woman did not object to the kissing,
her husband has sued the farmer for one
thousand dollars damages. The farmer
thinks that the price is too high, and in
sists that the woman shall pay half, as she
had as much fun out of it as he had.
At Quincy, Illinois, John Davidson, an
ambitious pedestrian, completed task of
walking l05 hours, without sleeping or
stopping to eat. Soon after he was seized
with paralysis and his life is despaired of.
During the last ten or twelve hours of his
walk, his hackers frequently applied the
whip to his back with vigor, to keep him
from dropping to sleep.
A farmer living near Elkhart, Michigan,
refused for several years to sell his wool,
because he could not get the price he de-
manded. The other day he concluded to
come down, and brought to town over five
thousand pounds of wool, selling it at thir-
ty-fve to thirty-eight cents pound. For
a large portion of this wool he had been
offered one dollar pound, and refused it.
A clergyman in Washington county,
Maine, driving along a lonely road, over.
took countryman on foot, whom he in
vited to ride. After the crops had been
discussed, the clerical gentleman asked
his companion if he was prepared to die,
whereupon the countryman leaped out Of
the wagon and fed to a place of safety
evidently considering the question as
meaning the same as 'your money or your
life"