The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1870-05-07
THE BARBER OF sToCksBAwLER.
A TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL
BY MARK LEMON.

lCoO, ItoiuSu oDe IldtS ocFdpScH1ns, an
industrious and close shaving barber His
industry met with due encouragement
from the bearded portion of the commu-
nifty; and the softer sex, whose greatest
fault is fickleness, generally selected Hans
for the honor of new fronting them, when
they had grown tired of the ringlcts ma
urehad bestowed, and which" time had
frosted. q
Hans continued to shave and thrive,
and all the careful old burghers foretold
of his future well-doing; when he met
with misfortune, which promised for
time to shut up his shop and leave him
a beggar. He fell in love.
Neighbors warned Hans of the conse-
quences of his folly; but all remonstrance
was in vain. Customers became scarce,
wearing out their patience and their wigs
together; the shop became dirty, and
winter saw the flies of summer scattered
on his show board
Agnes Flirtitz was the prcttiest girl in
Stocksbawler. Her eyes were as blue as
summers sky, her cheeks as rosy as an
autumn sunset, and her teeth as white as
winters snow. Her hair was a beautiful
faxen-not drab-but that peculiar
seven-penny moist sugar tint which the
poets of old were wont to call golden.
Her voice was melodious; her notes an
all were equal to Crisis; in short, she
would have been desirable, lovable
young lady, if she had not been a CO.
quette.
Hans met her at festival given in
commemoration of the demise Of the bur
gomaster's second wlfe-I beg pardon, l
IL, L. Il, L
third bride. From that day Hans was
lost barber. Sleeping, waking, shaving,
curling, weaving, rowdering, he thought
of nothing but Agnes His love dreams
placed him in all kinds Of awkward pre-
dicaments.
And Agncs-what thought she of the
unhappy barber? Nothing, except that
he was presumptuous puppy, and wore
questionable garments. Hans received
an intimation of this latter opinion; and,
after sundry quailings and missivings, he
resolved to dispose of his remaining stock
in trade, and, for once, dress like gen
tleman. The measures had been taken
by the tailor, the garments had been
basted and tried on, and Hans was stand
ing at his door In state of fevcrish ex-
citement, awaiting their arrival in a COM
pleted condition Gas there was to be fctc
on the morrow, at which Agnes was to be
PRESENT. when stranger requested to be
shaved. Hans wished him at the-ncxt
barber's but there was something so un-
pleasantly positive in the visitors appear
ance, that he had not the power to object,
SO politely bowed him into the shop. The
stranger removed his cap, and discovered
two very ugly protuberances, one on each
side of his head, and of most uuphreno-
/ logical appearance. Hans commenced op-
erations-the lather dried as fast as he
laid it on, and the razor emitted small
sparks as it encountered the bristles on
the strangers face. Hans felt particu-
| larly uncomfortable, and not word had
hitherto passed on either side, when the
stranger broke the ice by asking rather
abruptly, * Have you any schnapps in the
house 2" Hans jumped like parched
pea. Without waiting for reply, the
stranger rose, and opened the cupboard
never take anything stronger than wa:
tor" said Hans, in reply to the "Pshaw''
which broke from the strangers lips as
he smelt at the contents of little brown
pitcher. More fool you," replied his
customer. Here, taste that-some oi
the richest grape blood of Rheinga;' "Ha
ha and yet you hope to thrive with the
women" said the stranger. 'sNo wonder
that Agnes treats you as she does. buI
drink, man. drink!"
The stranger took a pipe, and coolly
seated himself again in his chair, hung
one leg over the back of another, and
striking his finger briskly down his nose
elected fame that ignited his tobacco
and then he pulled and pufed, till every
moth in the shop coughed aloud The
uneasiness of Hans increased, and h'
looked toward the door with the mos
cowardly intention; and, 10! two laugh
ing, dimplcd faces was peeping In a
them. "Hawi how are you z" SAID th'
st.anger; sscome in! come In =, and t.
Hans horror, two very equivocal damsel
entered the shop. Hans felt scandalized
and was about to make most peWerlu
remonstrance, when he encountered tn.
eve of his impertinent customer; and
from its sinister expression, he though
it wise to be silent. One of the damsei
seated herself on the strangers knee
whilst the other looked most coaxlngly t
the barber; who, however, remained proc
to all her winks and blinks, and, "wreath
ed smiles"
"Sblitzen!" exclaimed the lady, 9Th
mans an icicle
Hans. you're fool!" said the stran
ger; and his inamorata coneurred IN th
, opinion. The flask was again pro1iere
the eye artillery again brought into &C
ton, but Hans remained constant {
pump water and Agnes Flirtitz. =.
, The stranger rubbed the palm OF HI
hand on one of his head ornaments, a
though he were somewhat perplexed
the contumacious conduct of the barber
then rising he graciously led the lad,e I1s
) out. As he stood, with one foot on th
step of the door, he turned his hea
scornfully over his shoulder and saie
J s.Hans, you are nothing but-a barber
but before cat, you shall repent of you
present determination.
"What security have ! that you vi
keep your word 7" replied Hans, VIII
| % j. k.xr. kfk.v. r