Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1870-03-18
9 HALF MARRIED.

Il ~ .
A short time since, a young lady
and gentleman in Arkansas visited
Parson Curtis apparently, for the
purpose of uniting two fond hearts
in one.' The man was of sanguine
temperament, whose ruddy counte-
nance and glowing eye denoted the
of the happy hour when
his fondest hopes were to be realized.
He thrust a hand in each breechers
pocket, placed his right foot firmly
forward, and turning his head jaunt-
lily on one side, gazed first at the
parson, and then at his s'heart's de
light as much as to say-'I've got
her." "....a.. ..s ss.. .-..r - I'd. - FL.
The lady saith picture of health,
with an expression of countenance
that told the casual observer that
butter would not melt in her mouth.
There could be seen a suspicious
dimple, however, at each corner OF
her mouth, that came and went with
every glance of a pair of bright but
mischievous eyes-sparkling with
Ioguish restlessness-that might have
told her lover not to 'count his
chickens before they were hatch
ed" ....-. .--
The parson approached the parties
and inquired in his blandest manner,
"what he could do for his young
friends p
Groom-'What can you do for
us Why, darned sight. Can't he,
Sary p -. ~. 96
"Bride-"Well, I recon-1f ALPS
willin'."
G.-"Willin'! Why, what is up ?
Ant a goin' to gin up now, hope ?
You don't mean to say 1 shan't git
married! !' -
Bob, no John, you've come
to be married, and 1 won't baulk
you" se a--
G-"Good as goold There, Mr
Curtic, there is a pattern to begin
With seizes her,and planting a few
that would rival Tweedle's soda, y
puts ON the harness like dove. So
now, minister, gear up your fixins,
and crack your whip" z-7
Min.-''Well, if you are earnest,I I
can marry you" . ...
G.-In airnest! Of course we are
in airnest. Don't palaver so-go into
it, rip out the sarvice, you know
that Solomon says that delays are
dangerous keep the feet dry and
the head cool, and bid defiance to the
physlckers." F
B.-''La! John. there's no use in
being in such a hurry
G.-"Now, Sary, don't say boo
till it's over-let'em drive-go at it.
parson, hurry up the cakes, modrate,
but don't splurge, slow, but all fired
sartin. Wake snakes! won'tBradford
howl! when she hears I'm married
Won't she be mad ?'' .-
"Mr. Curtis proceeded solwly with
the ceremony, keeping a watchful
eye on the intended bride, whose
mischievous manner excited susplc
ion that a screw was loose some
where. When, however, he come tc
the response of the groom, the sol
emn scene was disturbed by some
thing like a stentorian yell:
G .-"Whoop,you'd better believe
it Of course l will take her, who
'sputes it? What I came here for
hallelewyer! May bet your life OF
that! Go on, sir, now give her {
haze"
The parson, in turn, performed
the service which was to- extor
acquiescence to her lovers wishes
but instead Of the precious words
Il will,'' gushing from the pure
fountain Of her maiden heart, .
distinct and emphatic ''NOr' blum
ted the senses of the parson an(
groom. . -.
G--"Great shakin ayers! Sary
what did you say p
| B-"No!"
The parson looks perplexed, and
Sarah, relaxing from her assume,
heroics, laughs outright, and Begin
to move off.
G.-"Stand your ground, Sary
Hold er, Mr.. Curtis Go on will
the sarvice, drive it through ano
clinch her on t'other side, rivet hel
noww
B. "No yon don't. You've n,
right to complain. You wanted t.
get married, and you are married
but I am not married! So pay thu
Zee, and run home, before you
mamma knows you're out %
And away skipped the little jill
almost convulsed with merry laugh
ter.
! G.-"Great Cesar, minister it i
your fault. If you'd only put he
through and hadn't stopped to mi
matters, I'd had her."
| The groom left with rather rue
full countenance, and appeared to b
lost in deep meditation, which wa
only disturbed by the merry peale
of bevy of girls, who salute
him with boisterous laughter :prom
inent among them was Betsey Brad
ford. s. er i0 F most .EAts0
He is universally known as til
young man who is half married !!
~ "Sambo, what your opinio
; oh dat bankrupt?' fsz Es
"Tink him fust rate. 1 imply fo
10 .,,rSnIfS3