Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-06-24
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
Pepper Pods.

If yu hav got spirited and noble boy,
appeal tew hiz generosity, if yu hav got a
heavy and sullen one appeal tew hiz back.
A crate menny oy our people go abroad
tew improve their mines, who hadn't got
emmy minds when they war at home;
knowledge, like charity, shud begin at
home and then spred.
Affiickshuns are the:compliments that
Heaven pays tew the Virtewous.
Nobody but phool will spend hiz
time trieing tew convince phool
Time IL like money, the less we hay ov
it teu spare the further we make it go.
The tongue IL really very fasst mem
bur ov the boldly politick, he duz all the
talking, and two-tbirds ov the thinking.
Hewhospend hiz younger days in disa-
pashun IL mortgaging himself tew dis
seaze and poverty, two inexOrable credit
ors, who are certain tew foIeclose at last,
and take possession ov the premises.
There il menny person who kan set a
mouse-trap tew perfeckshun, but not sat
isfied with sich small game, undertake
tew trap for bears, and git ketched by the
bears. Moral: study yure genius, and
stick tew mice.
Young man don't marry sbuv or below
yure rank, not that l think thare liz any
virtew in rank, but there IL custom in il,
and custom often outranks law and gospel.
Let him go, mi son, sed an ancient
father tew hiz boy, who had caught a
young rabbit and when he gifts bigger
ketch him agin. The boy did az he waz
told, and haZ been looking for that rabbit
ever since.
The world owes all its energys and re-
finement tew luxurys-digging roots for
breakfast and going naked for clothes, IL
the virtewous innocence oV a lazy savage.
Thare IL lots who eat well, and drink
well, and sleep well, and yet are sick all.
the time-theze are the folks who alwus
enjoy poor health.
If man hits yu, and you hits him
back, yu are even, but if yu don't strike
back he IL yure debtor, and alwus owes
yu crack.
A person with a little smattering ov
learning, IL good deal like hens egg
that haz been sot on for short time, and
then deserted by the hen it iz spite for
Matching out ennything.
"People of good sense" are those
whoze opinyuns agree with ours.
Thare il CRATE deal of magnificent
poverty in our big citys, people who eat
klam soup out ov 6 tin basin with gold
spoon. -s
The place where poverty, virtew, and
love meet and worship together, IL the
most sakred spot in this universe.
Experience don't make man so bold
az it duz so careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never has a
play spell or frolik; it il stiff from morn
ing till night, from top tew bottom, like
sled stake.
Thare amt but very little ginowine good
sense in this world ennyhow, and what
little thare IL amt in market, itiZ held for
a dividend. &c I.... 7 -
ThoZe who have made up their minds
tew lead q live of enjoyment will find the
following recipee ahelp tew them: ''To
one ounce ov plezzure add pound ov re-
pentance."
Adversely IL pOultess which reduces
our vanity and strengthens our virtew-
even boy never feels half so good az
when he haz just bin spanked and sot
away tew cool.
Pedantry IL the science ov investing
what little yu know in one kind ov per-
fumery and insisting upon sticking that
under every mans knose whom yu meet.
Licing IL like trieing to hide in fog,
If yu move about yure arc in danger Nv
humping yure he'd agin the truth, and az
soon az the fog blows oph yu are gone
ennyhow.
Marrying an angel IL the poetry ov
marriage, but living with her IL the proze,
and this IL all well enuff if the taste ov
the poetry haIn't spite our relish for the
proZe. .-
The man who livs on hope must pick
the bones oV disappointment.
The Devil IL sed tew be the father ov
lies, if this IL so, he haz got large fam
ly, and CRATE menny promising children
amung them. -
Life IL like mug ov beer, froth at the
top, all in the middle, and settings at the
bottom. 0
We should liv in this life az tho we
war walking on glaze ice, liable tew fall
at enny moment, and tew be laffed at bi
the bystanders.
Men, if theyain't too lazy, liv sumtimes
till they are so, and destroy the time a
good deal az follows: the fust 80 years
they spend in throwing stuns at a mark,
the seckond 80 they spend in examining
the mark tew see WHARF the stuns hit, and
the remainder il divided in cussing the
tun-throwing Dizziness and nussing the
rumatiz.
THOSE who have favorite cut flowers tC
preserve should change the water daily in
which they are set, and cut thin slice
off the stocks at every change Water
about milk warm, or containing q small
quantity of camphor dissolved in spirit:
| of WING. will often revive flowers thai