The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-08-12

woman t. dress. 49,
WIT Aower woutd furpish srdsas-
ing I'm Beet Rose would.
81. Ip,is- Tbefra d6psftstisa osss
pauper patient - The hospital.
Song Of the Radical Congressman
III love to ste al awhile away.
An Iowa girl wants to die, but she
prefers to be mothcrcd with kisses.
Do not triae with an accountant,
for when be stings, he'll sting like
an adder. ~
A church fair at New Orleans
sdvertises '.ths coolest champagne
punches. y
A woman 40 black as the aca of
spades says she was ''born to blush
unseen
When . person declares that his
''brain is on Ere. IS il etiquette to
blow il out
A delicate parcel to be forwarded
By rail--A young lady wrapped up
il herself.
Why is . worn out shoe like ancient
Greece? Because it once had .
Scion (sole on. .-.. Ill e..
The future is . sealed book, and
how wisely it is ordered, that We
can read but line At time.
A young lady in the rural districts
likes Mr.. Chomo's picture about as
we'll as anybody's.
Why is : lawyer like . sawyer I
Because whichever way he moves,
down must come the dust.
Though men boast of holding tho
reins, the women generally tell them
which way they must drive. 80.
Cards and birthstone make the best
matches. IS the clergyman said when
he married . gamester to shrew.
A1prisoner was examined in court
and contradicted himself. why do
you lie so? asked the judge.
''Haven't You lawyer :"
Did you ever know young lady
too soak to stand up during psalm
time in church, who couldn't dance
al night without being tired?
Well. my young gentleman. and
how would you like your hair cut ?"
20. like papa'se pleas, with little
ronna hole 1t the top" rs =azes Z
An illiterate correspondent who is
given to sporting wants to know
when the 'Anglo- Saxon race" 90
much talked about, is to come of.
Ikmay b said Of too many Of eur
public men that they are last in
war. last in peace, but first in the
pockets of their country-meu.
Rusticus in commenting on the
present style Of female coiffure says :
1T must be very poor soil that re-
quires SO mush top dressing" ..as
Asuecrs temperate. pledge was
once circulated in Russia. It bound
the signers to sbatsin from brandy
ELL A,>Aa5--sha.ld be lb>A+er- saa
toler.bly cheap. aa sass sssa
4 reporter on the Now York Sun
has heard something that it "makel
him blush to think Of" It don't
seem possible that he il permanently
engaged on the Sun.
A rural corres pondent asks 10 t.
explain what q sinking fund is. Any
sum Of public money which falls int.
the hands Of the present Administra
tion 10 sinking fund.
"You say" said . judge to
witness, s'that tho plaintiff resort
ed to an ingenious use Of circumstant
isI evideuce, state just exactly wha
you meant by that. "Well," sal,
thSwitness -My exact meaning j
that be lied"
A horticulturist advertised tha
he would supply all kinds Of seed
and plants. Some wag sent an or
der for one package Of custard pi
seed aud dozen Of mince pie plants
which he filed by sending txelv
hens eggs and . small dog.
Funny mistakes occurred 1T th
New York musical festival last week
In ono Of the crowded hotels 81,
ladies and three gentleman were -
sigasd . single apartment until on
Of the ladies, member Of promi
nsnt family in Boston. sent her carr
20 the clerk. saying that . mistsk
had been made. He must send tn
three gentleman away or send thre'
more.
It has been said that there il n,
one SO happy as maiden in her teens
We have many old soldiers who wcr,
fully - happy in their canteeas.
Natures sun rises ir the moruin,
and goes to rest 1T nightfall. Man,
Of the rising sons Of the present do,
get up It noon and retire 1t do,
break.
Tempting-An undertaker havin,
apartments to let. parted bic bill
upon the collins in the Windows, an
nouneing. '.Lodsings for singh
gentlemen. /"
Tbere is nothing like refining th