The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-01-11
OLD DUGOOD'S DOG.
OLD DUGooD came into the bar.

after listening to few wonderful stories,
Dugood Clipped in as follows
" Now boys, you may talk as you please
about the smart things ye hev done, but
can just tell you somethin' that will lay
over all yer stories.
" don't 'spect you'll believe a man
when he's tcllin yes truth, but this is as
true as the Gospel.
a" You's all know that big yallar dog Of
mine? Well, that dog is the smartest
dog in the drove He's an intellectual
dog, he is. Now, | know you won't be-
lieve me, but that ar dogs been larnin'
to sing
" Learning to sing? Get out |" in
terrupted one Of the listeners.
" Yes, sir, that's SO, every word of it E;
and III jest tell you how it was. 'Tother
night we had singing at our house. You
know our SAILS been goin' to the singin'
schools lately, and she and other gals,
and the young felars what go hev got SO
they can squawk like the very blazes.-
And so most every night they meet at
somebody's house and practice.
We'll, the other night there was
whole crew on 'em at our house, and they
had big time. Such screechin' and
squallin' and bellerin' you never heard
Of in all your lives You'd hev thought
that whole gang Of tomcatS had broken
loose and tacklen Squire Jones bull, and
were jest heying it hot and heavy. Well,
that ar dog was in the room while they
wOr singin and he was the most interest
ed crceter | ever saw He watched EN-
bcatin' time and going through their
mannoovers, an peared to understand
EN- as well as they did. At first they
sang lively tunes you know; and putty
soon, when they got tired Of these, they
commenced on salms and hymes and 9TH
er serious things, The dog 'peared to
like these better than he did the lively
tunes, and sot as close up to 'em as he
could while they sung.
" At last, the gals coaxed Jim Blow
hard to sing Old Hundred You know
what an old tearin bass voice Jim has.
When he commenced, the dog began to
get dreadfully interested He pointed
his nose right up at the ceilin', and every
time Jim came to the low notes he'd sort
er howl"
Who? Jim %
emo, blast you, the dog, Blowhard
he sang away Tor awhile, and jest then he
turned round and kinder bit his hind
legs"
"Gosh mighty! What, Blowhard ?"
Ono, you ALFRED fool you, the dog of
course. Then says | to the old woman
Nancy Jane, sez [, you jest bet your
boots that dogs got something in his head
And Nancy Jane, sez she, You git out
i shan't do it, Just then the dog
picked up. somethin in his mouth and
bolted out Of the room quicker a streak.
| didn't pay much attention to it and
nobody e Sc noticed.
When Blowhard finished, all the gals
crowded round him and commenced fiat
tering him, when suddenly we all heard
noise. 1t was the orfullest mixed up
noise ever anybody heard. Everybody
was scared nearly to death. Six of the
Sdls laluleu away III DloWndru arms all
at once. They wor hangin' on to him
from all sides, like string beans to pole.
Blowhard sot still for moment or two
it was more huggin' than he could stand,
and he wilted right off his seat onto the
floor and tried to crawl under the sofa.-
Before he got MORN his head and shoul-
ders under, the gals all came to and
caught him by the feet and tried to pull
him out. Blowhard held on to the sofa
legs and beloved murder; and the gals
screechod, and some on 'em ran around
the room nineteen times in minnit before
they could anything else to faint faint onto.
| picked up a candle and rushed into
the back yard with two Or three of the
spunkiest men, and what do you think
that intellectual old dog was dom? He'd
got music book spread out before him,
and was beatin' time with his tail on
tin-pan and howln' Old Hundred like
all possessed"