Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1870-09-17
Gales and Sketehes.
THE MISSING JUROR.
Or how We tried Hcad.Centre O'H0uIehan.

lCoNCLUDED FROM YESTERDAYS PAPER.
The cloth was removed, the tumblers in
troduced, and the conversation began to
circulate, when Mr.. Slopmiss declared to
me that he must have q smoke.
you had better not think of it here
said !, ''for Old ChouZler hates the name
of tobacco"
my dear boys said |, it can't be done
If you like to wait till bedtime, perhaps by
putting your head up the chimney, or by
reclining from the window, you could man
age it; but, as things 60 it is utterly i'm
possible"
Slopman groaned. ''I'm a dead man.
by being on this ID jury! I've missed
my two daily smokes, and my digestion
will go astray forever"
| felt for the poor fellow he was evil
IDENTITY miserable. A bright thought will
sometimes burst into blossom even in the
dullest minds. | say this defcrentially, as
the idea emanated from mine. Along the
line of windows 0hree icing attached to
the apartment in which we were sitting)
ran a roomy balcony. tt
"By jiSgo.' said l. 'Slopmiss, you can
have your weed
"How ?-when? where? cries the vic
tim of tobacco, in very excited whisper.
"On the balcony? What balcony?
''The balcony outside the windows. You
can easily pull aside the curtain, gently
raise the sash, seat yourself, and smoke
until you are sick"
by Jove. Browne, you've saved my
life ~ said Slopmiss.
The foreman was busily discussing the
merits of certain clarets, with an JUNCTION
that attracted the attention of at least nine
of the jury, when Slopmiss cautiously stole
from the table, and with catlike steps
reached the curtain of the nearest window :;
and then with a deXterity of manipulation
of which | did not deem him capable,
gently pushed aside the drapery and dis
appeared as noselessly as ghost
lie had not been gone more than three or
four minutes when the wary constable
posted at the door popped in his head to
see that all was right-that the prisoners
We're safe. As the easiest mode of ascer-
tanning this important fact, he counted the
individuals present. | was seated exactly
opposite, having "closed mp in order to
render Slopmiss' absence as little remark
able as possible. When the constable
commenced his ''count," saw there would
be, as Dick Swiveller would term it,
scenery" He counted rapidly. and when
he came to the end, seemed somewhat puz-
zled, but recommended with more deter
mination-"One, two, three four, five, six,
seven, &c.,-his lips moving in solemn
slowness. Again, II sudden convulsive
stop. He rubbed his eyes, and began to
reckon round the other way: "Only
eleven" They held a consultation, which
ended by their locking the door. By this
time the foreman's attention was called to
the fact of their presence, and the some
what remarkable proceedings consequent
thereon.
what is the meaning of this intrusion ?'
shouted Mr.. Chouzler.
"Begorra, Sir, were fairly puzzled, y
said the constable. There was twelve OF
yez here five minutes ago sittin' fair an
aisy round the boord, and now, may the
devil fly away with me, but there's wan Of
yez gone"
Impossible. Sir" said Mr.. Chouzler !;
you're drunk"
'Be the hole in my coat, wish l had
the provocation, SIR but sorra dhrop of
anything stronger nor wather crossed me
lips this blessed night. But shure. sir, as
we doubt me word, count the skulls yer
SELF
Mr.. Chouzler acted upon the suggestion,
in which he was aided by every Juror pres
ent, the majority of whom insisted upon
twelve, Chouzler himself corroboratine
the constable's eleven.
Il beg your pardon, gntemin," OBJ
served the constable, ''but as one of yeZ is
missin the Sheriff will murdher us, so by
your lave We'll search the premises; but
if it has how yez are jokin', av coorse yez
can folly Yer pleasure, only say SO at
WanSt."
MIR. Chouzler denied the possibility of a
joke, and requested the constable to make
most rigorous search, admitting himself
to be fairly puzzled, and comparing his
list to ascertain the missing man. How L
anticipated the fun of Slopmiss being dis
covered and ushered into the presence of
the irate foreman Ten times l was on the
point of confessing, and ten times did l
funk the avowal
The constables ducked under the table,
and CROPPED for their prey among our legs.
Failing to discover him there, they drew
aside the window curtains, closing them
carefully. Upon finding emptiness, one
of them cautiously peered up the chin
ney, although laundering fire blazed ia
the CRATE; while the other, in an agony OF
search, lifted the lid of the coal scuttle, as
if the body of Slopmiss could by any aero
batic possibility fit into so small space.
Finding all these efforts produced nc
fruit they held council of war.
While they were beating their brains,
the gentlemen round the table were be-
ginning to feel perplexed.
What the devil has become of the
fool? ?n growled Chouzler.
II saw him not two minutes ago." OBJ
served Mr.. Frizzle ''he was sitting op
posite me.
Heavens he was beside me-" scream
ed Mr.. Bobley, nervous little gentleman
with shrill voice.
This is a id Fenian dodge =
shouted gentleman, whose loyalty wa
of the most uproarious nature; land cos
me what it will, Ill expose it,"
The constable advanced, and the othel
officer who had previously acted a
spokesman, came forward
"Gintlemin, this is a mighty quare bis
Mss. There's larks in it, or there's wuss
Now" (there he fixed his eyes on Chouz
ler) ''if this ould gent win only aise him
self of the truth. it'll save thrubble."
I n