Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1870-11-18
Marriage.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

|
body can parse
History holds its tongue who the pair was
that first put on the silken harness and prom.
ised to work kind in it, thro' thick and thin,
up hill and down, and on the level, rain or
shine, survive or perish, sink or swim, drownd
or foat.
But whoever they was, they must have
made good thing out of it; or SO many of
their posterity would not have harnessed up
since and drove out
There is great moral grip to marriage
it is tho mortar that holds the social brick
! together.
But there amt but few folks who put their
money in matrimony, who could set down and
give good written opinion why on earth they
cum to do it.
This 10 great proof that it is Que Of them
natural kinds Of accidents that must happen,
just as birds fly out of the nest when they
have feathercd enough, without being able to
tell why.
Sum marry for beauty and never discover
their mistake. This is lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't SEQ it.
Sum marry for pedigree, and feel big for
six months, and then very scnsibly cum to
the conclusion that pedigree is no better than
skim milk.
Sum marry because they have been highs.
ted somewhere else This is cross mutoh
"a bay and sorrcl pride may make it in.
durable.
Sum marry for love without cent in their
pocket, nor friend in the world, nor drop
of pedigree. This looks desperate, but it is
the strength of the game.
If marrying for love is not success, then
matrimony is dead beat.
Sum marry because they think women
will De scarce next year, and live to wonder
how the crops holds out.
Sum marry to get rid of themselves and
discover che game was one two could play at.
and neither win.
>sum marry the second time to get even,
and find it q gambling game--the more they
put down the less they take up.
Sum marry to be happy, and not finding it,
wonder where all the happiness goes when it
dies.
Sum marry, they can't tell why, and live,
they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married and it is
good joke
Sum marry in haste, and then set and think
it carefully over.
Sum think it carefully over FIRST, and then
marry and SGT down.
Both ways are right if they hit the mark.
Sum marry rakcs, to convert them.
This is a little risky, and takes smart
missionary to do it.
Some marry couqucts. This is like buying
poor farm, heavily mortgaged, and working
the balance of your days to clear off the mort.
cages.
Married life has its chances, and this is
just what gives it its flavor. Everybody loves
to fool with chances, because everybody ex.
poets to win. But am authorized to state
that everybody don't win.
But after oil, married life is full as certain
as the dry goods business.
No man can swear exactly where he will
fetch up when he touches calico.
No man can tell just what calico has made
up its mind to do next.
Calico don't know even herself
Dry goods Of all kinds is the child of cir
oumstanccs.
Sum never marry, but this is just as risky,
the disease is the same with another name
with it.
The man who stands on the banks shiyer
ering and dassant, is more apt to catch cold
than him who pitches head first in the water.
There are few who never marry because
they won't-they all banker, and the most
Of them starve with bread before them, spread
on both sides, just for the lack Of grit
Marry young is my motto.
I have tried it and know " at ana talk.
ing about.
If anybody asks you why you got married.
if needs bc-tcll them you don't rocollcct.
Marriage is safe way to gamble---if you
win you get pilo; if you lose, you don't
lose anything, only the p.iviloge Of living
dismally alone, and soaking your own feet.
repeat it, marry young.
There is but one good excuse for mar
riage lato in life, and that is second mar
riage.
COUNTING Up.-A man who passed through
| Nevada City, Mo- one dav Inst week on his