Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1870-11-18

on the fence,--'fIn the naCurai scale, Una
fgger is do !"
Hal ha!' sez I, well, if that haint tn
funniest I never seed any dough afor
except that you bake, unless it was San
Doe, and he haint half baked 7
Silence = seq the Prufessor-' the elias
will take the sound
He put little forked continuance init
his mouth, and gave it bit, and when i
come out, it buzzed just like humble bee
And at the same minnit, he held out hi
stick towards the ordinance--and seq agar
Take the sound
| Nobody stirred, and I kinder pitied him
[ expect he thought we sighted him not to
except his stick, so got UP and rushed
over after it.
'I'l takeit, Mister seq it'll do for a
bean pole, but don't see properness in
calling it sound =
He grabbed it away from me as mad as
could be- Iixpect he sot out to give it to
some Of the gals. and was afrnuted to think
! they didn't take no notice Of him.
BE kiad enuff to sound the note after
me 7 seq he screwing his face up till it all
Tuu 1IitO lLS IllOutIl, Guu lClt llGLlS d uOlS-
boo =
Everybody sung it rite over after him
with the rest-thought I must say
thought it sounded dreadful shaller.
The next note is ray seq he, pinting to
the next fgger-s sound that
They did it, and then he pinted to the
next fgger.
That is me y seq he.
oh what lie y scz 'as if you could
be Oh the floor, and on the blackboard, both
to oncc!'
The skule will be quiet seq he; if
that old lady who makes herself such a
newshank, don't keep still, I'd advise her
to go home
got up and looked all round after the
old lady that he spoke Of, but there warnt
a single old lady there, that could see.-
He went on explatering about the dos, and
mes, and laws, and seas, till was all be-
logged up I didn't know tother from
which.
Look here, Mister Purfessor,' seq L,
how long afore you've gwine to sing some
thing?'
II that old lady in green don't keep STILL
seq he, rapping on desk with his stick,
.Pll know the reasonp
I don't blame you a mite ? seq I. and |
looked round a gin, bat there warn't nobody
there dressed in green. [ began to think
that prehaps the feller's eyesight was green,
ewing to the cutler Of his eyes.
It's nv opinion that old folks had better
- La,.,o -. IL 1ooI1;,. l,..i- - ,>,o
Who do you mean by old folk p seq [.
1 mean you, seq he, as cross as he could
boiler. For minnit was umbfounded
then [ was mad as hatter I riz right
to my feet and frunted him.
'Look here-you red headed, lartern-
awed snipep seq I, I haint used to being
aboosed like this, at all paid your man
that come round with the description paper,
two dollars for the priverlidge of coming
here; and now, that you've insulted me
I'll thank you to pay back that money
When git that, I'll start for home
I made no child's bargain, seq he.
Nor I neither = seq I, jumping rite over
the writing bench, and coming down into
the floor where he was. will you give
me lny money!?
mol seq he
Then take that ? seq I, and struck at
him with umberill, with all my force, but
instid of hitting the Purfessor, I hit the
stove funnel -(about half mile of it was
strung up over the room)-and down it
came all together The smut, sparks, and
ashes, filled the whole premises, but Purfes-
sor not see things He streaked if for the
door the door was full of tolks-he couldn't
git out that way. He was bound to make
an opening, thro Ugh, and jumped right
through the windersash, glass, and all
| SHOULD have followed him, but some
mischievous boy had sowed the floor with
orange seeds. and on one Of these my feet
slipped, and fell head fust rite into the
stunluk OF DR.. Cooke-srnashing his watch
glass, and bottle of brandy, all to flinders!
Such time | never did see The skule-
house got afire. round where the funnel fell
bown-Susy Smith cried herself into the
hydrostatics Miss Beams bran new ground
skirt was trod clean off Siman Richards
hat was knocked into the fire and burnt
Sara Morgin's hair comb got squashed, and
all the wmmin's crinneroines was ruinated
Some people blamed me, and some didn't
| think actid jest right If could only
got that money, l should feel satisfied
Purfessor Main haiut showed his head in
Beanvile sense
| WoMANLY MoDEsrY.- loves Tie
mysterious. A cloudless sky, the full
blown rose, leaves him unmoved, but the
violet which hides its blushing beauties be.
hind the bush, and the moon when she
energies from behind cloud ire to hin
sources Of inspiration and of pleasure. Mod
esty is to merit what shade is to figures il
painting-it gives it holiness and promi
nence. Nothing adds more to female beau
tJ than modesty it sheds around the coun
tenance halo of light, which is borrowed
from virtue. Botanists have given to thu
rosy hue which tinges the cup of the white
rose the name of ''maiden blush" Thi
pure and delicate hue is the only pain
Christian virgins should use it is the rich
est ornament. A woman without modest,
is like faded flower, which difuses an I'm
wholesome odor, and which the pruden
gardener will throw from him. Her desti
ny is melancholy, for it terminates in sham
and repentance. Beauty passes like til
flower of the albo, which blooms and dies i
few hours; but modesty gives the femal
character charms which supply the place c
the transitory freshness of youth.
JeffersOnss Ten Rules.
/. Never put of till to morrow what 20
can do today.