The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-03-20
orning Star and Catholic Messenger.
WIT AND WISDOM.
sW ORLEANS, SUNDAY, MARCH On Is7o

u K
| M WIT AND WISDOM.
Every bird pleases us with it's lay, esp,
fally the hen. ~ oop'
@X The darkest hour, as a rule. is lust befo,
4he gas is lighted.
What grows the less tired the more it
workedP A wagon wheel
= A thoroughly Independent man-On
W VINO depends on an inn for his living
4 R# There is nothing like adversely to 'brip,
& man out<at the knees and elbows.
& en- over scrupulous young lady-On,
Nho>wli not receive a stolen look.
Why is church bell like forgetful ser
L@&ntT Because it has to be tolled so often
unpopular personages-A fat man in an
pnibus, a tall man in a crowd and a short
an on parade.
- Why is policeman generally of satiri-
turn7 Because he has such a hab;t OF
ling people off,
The old gentleman whose memory carried
long way back is requested to return
his disconsolate friends.
lad having been advised by his parents
n "carry out a purpose,n innocentIv want
to know where to carry it.
The medical students of Michigan Uni
erslty are SO rapacious for ''subjects' that
nm ArbOr people don't dare to die
#2 The hardest thing to hold in this world
4E an unruly tongue. 1t beats hot smooth
Ng iron and a kicking horse considerably.
The dearest spot on earth is home, the
eong being believed. Mr.. Pegget says it's
true-costs him twice as much as anv other
epOt.
!" Is treacle good for a cough p INQUIRED
Ii youth with slight cough. cit ought to
be-" was the reply, sits sold for consump-
tiOn."
"COme out here and I'll lick the whole
- you" said an urchin to some sticks of |
I dorW." * :: '0n'eo''onef's Win
81 The very careful mamma who hid bars
N put across the nursery windows, to protect
the children, says it don't keep them from
80 80 falling; 0ut.
At a concert recently, at the conclusion
0f the song, "There's good time coming"
farmer got up and said, "Mister Won
couldn't fix the date, could you Z"
An observer of nature reports that be
mas seen some people who possessed the
regularity of having three hands-a right
hand, a left hand, and a little behind hand. :
s The Hartford Courant tantalizes it's read
e ss with tins atreety, ~, Have You heard of
me man VINO got shot :" Got shot? No;
how did he get shot?' "He bought ,em.,, t
. An old sailor finding corked bottle 5
noatlng on the sea, opened it, with the soli- !. .
loquy, Rum, hope; gin, think tracts 5
~by lingo" and threw them into the water 5
s. Horace Walpole tells a story of a Lord a
mayor OF London in his time, who having I
heard that friend had the smallpox twice r
and died of it, asked if he died the first "
time or second.
!. "A tavern boaster was once Wanting his s.
knowledge of the world, and was asked by n
q wag if lie had ever been in Algebra. .Oi. fl
yes" SAID he, .. once passed through it on "
top of a stage" v
A poor fellow having got his skull frac t!
tured, was told by the doctor that the brain II 1,
was visible; on which he remarked. u
Doctor write to my flasher for he always v
"Npw, George, you must divide the cake i T..
is honorably,' mother 2" " 1t means that ~
you must give him the largest piece a %,
:. Then, mother, I'd rather Charley would m
divide it." al d.
Digty met a friend who is terribly given.
TO fbblng, and accosted him thus, "Been 80
70 church day, Jones 2" No." was the az
uick response, "Pve been the bed all da
he day" "Just as expected" said Digby. an
you're always lying" ac
:" How is it, MISS" said census-taker. pe
that, that you give your age as only twenty at at
hree l was born the same year with pr,
ourseif, and, being thirty-fve, you must rs
e-" "Ah, but you see, you have lived no
1uch faster than l have"
An eccentric banker was cycling with sus- s.b,
icious caution a bill presented to him for 7
lscoune. You need not fear" said the VIII
1stomer, 'one of the parties keeps his A
arriage" "Ah," rejoined the banker, ~ ma
lall be glad if he keeps his feet" ed
Say, Mr.. Highfyer, won't you let fell pin
w go with you in that balloon Pn 81
mt possibly accommodate you, nv dear wor
lend" "Well, then, be kind enough to the
Ike my card along, for Il am determined all
get my name up somehow other" ilttl
&c Dan - said ,;t+Ia f, - L,,ua. luct
3 sixpence to buy a monkey" "We've LII i.
It one monkey in the house now" replied n aoos
e elder brother: " Who is it, Dan ~ in a aena
ired the little fellow. -" You,n was the eeye
ply. "Then give me sixpence to buy the r,t
,nkey some nuts" not
coroner in Arkansas, after empanel- thou
his jury, said, Now, gentlemen, you thin
} to determine whether the deceased In
ne to his death by accidence, by Incl edo
nee, or incendiary." The verdict was On
It :" The deceased came to his death by of w
ldence in the shape of bowie knife" and
\ fascinating young widow, having mar rush'
an elderly man, annoyed him by fire. Al