Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1870-10-06
Brevities.

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William Cullen Bryant is the rich
lest poet in the United States, his
last years income being $4,000.
ii There is general outcry made by
, railway passengers against the ex-
: tortionate prices demanded for
f sleeping-car berths on most lines.
The only liberty cap, says a clever
and witty author, is the night cap.
In it men visit one-third of their
lives the only land where they are
free and equal.
Fl The Boston Post says 1t was once
said of Boston money-lender that
he kept the trunk containing his Sc
curities near the head of his bed,
and lay awake to hear them draw
interest.
Il Why should young ladies never
wear stays? Because it is so horrid
to see a girl slight"
| A Scotch paper tells the story of q
i farmer who, after the burial of his
wife, drove hard bargain with the
Igrave-digger, who, bringing his hand
down on the shovel, exclaimed,
I'Down VII anither shillin', or up she
tcOmesw'
| Some one asked a boy how it was
he was so short of his age, when he
replied, "Father keeps me so
busy, ha'n't time to grow"
| An Irishman, having arrived in
this country, struck across the fields
in search of employment. While as
cending hill he suddenly came to a
stand-still at the sight of land
turtle slowly vending its way. Pat,
inever having seen the animal before,
lexclaimed: "Houly mither-the
divil of county is this, where the
snuff-boxes walk up hillp'
| 1t is said that the man who won't
take paper because he can borrow
one has invented a machine with
which he can cook his dinner by the
smoke of his neighbor's chimney.
A gentleman paid compliment to
a beautiful German lady at Newport,
by telling her she resembled the
Prussian army. "How so?" she
asked. "You are winning" was the
reply.
| An Irishman who was troubled
with the toothache determined to
have an old offender extracted, but
there being no dentist near, he re-
solved to do the job himself; where
upon he filled the excavation with
powder, but, being afraid to touch it
off, he put slow match to it, Lit it,
and then ran round the corner to get
out of the way.
A Rochester man has issued q
book of the names of men who don't
pay their debts in that city. 1t con-
tains so many names that it is fire.
quently mistaken for, and used in
the place of, a city directory.
"How," said Mr.. Munsell to Mr..
Yates, ''do you accomplish so much
in so short a time? Have you any
particular plan?'' Il have; l go and
do it."
A AVermont husband frustrated his
wife's elopement by locking up her
silk dress. She said she wouldn't
be seen eloping in a shilling calico.
Young ladies who wear blonde.
powder in their hair in the daytime,
and think it will not be noticed,
make great mistake, as it ought to
be worn by gas-light.
The largest transfer ever made at
the Treasury Department of bonds
belonging to single individual was
to George Rowland and others,
trustees to Sylvia Rowland, of New
Bedford. The amount was 100000.
The next largest sum is $550,0O0, in
registered bonds, belonging to
Partisan gentleman.
When a horse refuses to eat he
should Lot be made to do any more
service that day, for it may be
known that he is tired out or sick.
1t is barbarous to compel horse to
perform labor when in such a condi-
ton that he refuses grain, yet it is
often done, and by men, too, who
think they are merciful.
As many of our readers may not
know the best manner for cleaning
black lace, the following are the di-
rections for doing so: Sponge the
lace carefully with gin and wind it
around a bottle to dry, for if touched
with an iron it would look glossy
and fiattened. Some people fill the
bottle with warm water, which
causes the lace to dry more quickly.
1t must not be placed near the fire,
as it would give 1t a rusty appear
ance.
A simple fellow once said of . IA
nous beauty, Il could have courted
and married her easy enough, if I'd
wanted to- '.And, pray, why didn't
youY asked his friend. ''Oh, when
L began to court her, you see, she
took me one side and politely asked
to be excused, and so 1 excused her."
A New London Sabbath School
teacher said to little boy recently,
Suppose some bad, wicked boy
should stop you on your way to
church and ask you to go to some
bad place with him; what would
you say?" "What would 1 say?"
replied the little wag; Il would say
'Shoo fly, don't bodder me- ! am
bound for Sunday School,"
"Bob, is your sister at homeg"
"Yes, but she won't see you to-
night" sWhy?" Because she said
she was going to have one more
mess of onions if she never got an
other beau"
A voice comes from Washington
Territory, saying, "Send us wives"
And a thousand unhappy Benedicts
respond, Take oursw
Men are not to be judged by their
looks, habits and appearances; but
by their lives, and conversations,
and by their works. 1t is better
that a mans own works, than that
another mans words should praise