The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1870-02-10
Ny Second wife and Her Bridal Tour.
Ny SAMMY ssIssra.

bridal tour / told her shed better
wait six months or year, and Id try
TO 20 with her but she said bhe'd
rather 90 ulone--whcn a woman was
travelling mau was an OFT and out
humbug.
So | gave her seventy FIVE cents, and
told her to 90 of aud have good time
| never begruge money where my
wife's happiness is concerned. by first
wife never could complaiu Of not go.
Ing anywhere, for I'm dreadful fierce TO
80 of ons good time myself, and always
was. | wonldd't pretend to say how
many times | took her out to see the
engine squirt, and there was 20 end To-
the free lectures let her 20 to. Tho
neighbors used to say, 1T does beat all
how the SINNERS do 20 =
When Signor Bliiz was 10 SlunkyilIe,-
with his wonderful Cauaries, he gave
my wife complimentary ticket. Inot
only sold that ticket for my wife but
gp her halt Of the money. ! don't
boast Of it, though only mention il
to show how much | thought of my
wife's happiness. -
| don't think any man ought to get
married till he can consider bis wife's
happiness only second 10 his own
John Wise, a neighbor of mine. did
thusly, aud when | got married I con-
cluded Id do likewise. ei
But the plan didu't work il the case
of my second wife. No | should say
not | preached the subject kindly.
Matilda" | said, II suppose you
are aware that am uow your lord aud
master r. ~
Z" Not much you amt" said she.
" Mrs Skinner" replied. you ard
fearfully demoralized. You need reor-
ganizing at once. You are erauky.s,
And | brandished my new sixtytwo
cent umbrella wildly around her.
She took the umbrella away from me,
and locked me up in the clothes press.
| am quick to draw an inference, aud
the Inference | drew here was that I
was not success as reorganizer Of
female women.
Alter this changed my tactics. I
let her have her own way, and the plau
worked to Il charm from the very first.
It's the best way Of managing wife
that know Of OF course this IS be.
tween you aud me.
SO when my wife said she was bound
to 80 off on bridal tour anyhow, /
cordially assentcd. $50, Matilda"
said |, and stay us long as you want
to, then if you feel as though you would
like to stay little while longer, stay,
my dear, stay" s
She told me to stop talking, and 70
up stairs aud get her red flannel night
cap, add that bag of pennyrcyal for
Aunt Abigail
My wife Is a very smart woman.
She was Baxter, aud tho Baxters are
very smart family indeed Her mother,
who is going on eighty, can fry more
slapjacks now than half these primped
up city girls, Who rattle 90 the pianos,
or else walk the streets with their fur
bellows and fxinss, pretending TO gss
mad IT young chap looks at en- pretty
hard, but getting mad 10 earnest If YOU
don't take any notice of them ut all.
All girls aiu't what they used 10 be
when was young, and the fellows are
worse stu. When | went courting,.for
instance, never thought Of staying
till after ten o'clock, and only went
twice week. Now they ed seven
nights 10 week, and cry because there
amt eight. Theu they write touching
notes to each other during the day Ism
Dear George. do Won 1--we ma a. mach
now as you did at quarter past twelve last
night. Say you do, dearest, and it viii give
me coarags % go down 70 dinner and tackle
80. ~ Ssa"s 'o'' oser from yes'efaaS'a
Wei, well, 1 suppose they enjoy
themselves, aud It amt for US old folks.
whose hearts have got little calIousing
BY long wear, TO Interfere. Let them
ana th'nK they do wasforty seven
When cour'ed my present vito, but i
seemeu Just as, nice TO SO on q little
c'lcse. a. ier ieet' aud let her smooth
my mar, as u dia thirty years ago
AS l said before, my wife IS a very
smart woman put she couldn't Be
lny,ning else, ana DC Baxter. She
ussa 'oSlveiectures on Won'aas Rights,
ana IN Que place where she lecturcd, .
d. upon her. But she woulda't saEc,
it. mo gentlemen, said she. .seiSe Il
| m tba ,,oor - = II 71