The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-07-21
LAUGHERANEoUs.

-Man Is mister, but woman is mys
terry.
IF the foundation supports build
ling what is its salary?
"A friend at pinch-one who share
his snuf-box with you.
Il II have rot loved lightly said
ssman who married 300 pound widow
The cup that neither cheers nor In
ebriates-the hic cup.
So Wall street is seldom original, but i!
Is great in quotations.
- When is boat like pile of snow
When it is adrift.
an To cure aeafness-tell a man you We
leone to pay him money It beats acous-
tic oil all hollow. .---.
Why is the earth line blackb board ?
Because the children of men multiply
~wuponsthe face of it. sE
zssas The Comanche Indians don't like
negro troops employed on the Texan from
tier. It's TOO much trouble to scalp them.
a7ss The reason there are so many NUT
>, ton-heads in existence is, because such a
., number of children are perfect little
lambs
lss-H A prisoner was examined in court
and contradctea himself "Why do you
lie So asked the Judge. Haven tyou
"a lawver?'
.a'sT Why is a horse the most curious
i feeder in the world Because he eats
Z best when he has not a bit in his mouth.
-st -Four business firms in London have
ssynamcs which make curious combinations
Flint Il Steel, Ward & Lock, Lamb &
1 IT.1y @ -
81 IF yu want to find out the ruling
pashun ov boss, feed. him high on oats
1t IL just SO with mankind.
go A Missouri poper claims that the
hogs Of that state are so fat that, In or
der to find out where their heads are, it
Is necessary to make them squeal, and
then judge by the sonnd. ~
When person declares that hi s
brainis on fire is it etiquette to blow it
out.
The Chinese have written language.
1t is written mostly on tea chests.
.,.-Nussing revenge IL like missing
young hedgehog-the older he grows,
the sharper his quilts.
I'D The great evils of life are said to be
standing collars, stovepipe hats, tight
boots, bad whisky and cross women.
IF common school is located in
garnet is that any reason that it is a. high
school.
"A Maine gentleman sat. down on a
be e hive the other day, and now prefers
to stand.
The reason that women cannot be
economical is that there is waist to
every dress.
Blessed are they that are deaf; for
they never lend money, nor listen to te-
dious stories. as
A man with scolding wife says he
has less fears Of the jaws of death than
the jaws of life.
If you want to keep a dead man,
put him into whisky. IF you want to kill
living man, put the whisky into him.
ell neve shot anything in the shape of
d bird. but squirrel which [ killed with
{. stone, fell into the river and was drown
ed
The difference between the late Fe-
Man invasion and a military display :?
One is a parade, aud the other is raid
that didn't pay.
1t is not necessary that postman
should have good voice, but it is a most
essential thing that he should have a
good delivery.
The man who got wise by eating sage
cheese, has brother who proposes to be-
come skillful in the fashionable dances
by dieting on hops.
What bird is that which is absolute
ly necessary that we should have at din
ner, and yet need neither be cooked nor
served up? A swallow.
A young lady who was boasting of
her teeth. was asked if they were natu-
raj or artificial Neither, was the re-
ply; they are gutta l1ercha T
A thought for a TOPEKA man may
pronerly be said to have been drinking
like . fish when he finds that he has taken
enough to make his head swim.
leave you, my friend p said a
tipsy fellow, clinging to lamp post on a
not to take care of yourself! HE. never!' .
If ore lady's wardrobe for the spring
season costs $4,000 as shown by the Bos-
ton law suit, how much does it cost Brig
ham Young to support his family.
"A very polite young man, wishing to
ask young lady if he might speak to
her few moments, wanted to know IT
he could roll the wheel of conversation
around the axeltree of her understanding
for moment. The poor girl tainted.
"A man is said to be absent-minded
when he thinks he has left his watch at
home, and takes it out of his pocket to
see if he has time to return home to get
it.
A rude fellow once told Mr. Barnum
he never exhibited anything that WASH t
a harefaced humbug. Eyes, | have. y
said Barnum, ''the bearded lady WASH t
barefaced.
"A girl hearing the lady of her house,
at dinner, ask her husband to bring
''Dombey and Son" with him when he
came home to tea, had two extra plates
on the table for the supposed visitors.
Bachelors are always a braggin OF
their freedoml freedom to darn their
own stockings and poultice their own
shins. | had rather be widower once
in two years regular, than to be grunt-
ing old hair-dyed bachelor only 90 daze
A colored cook expected company oil
her own kind, and was at a loss how to
entertain her friends. Her mistress said
'Chlo, you must make an apology.
s'La, missis, how can | make 1t ? got
no apples, no eggs, no butter, no muir
to make it wild.
-Jemima Pangle was nervous spin
ster of thirty eight, and on the cars fol
the first time in her life, the cars stopped
and the brakeman flung open the dool
and cried out, "Madison's Cut. Mis-
oangle sprang up exclaiming, "Lal a
he much hurts gu
AT A nub|ic sale of hoots in To,don