Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-12-08
The 9erald.
8
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS

Pet poodles are now amused with
rubber rats, which sQueal and jump
when bitten.
Why have the French bankers
stopped speculation ? Because all
their capital is invested.
An English Bishop once said f:
"0ur girls are poorly educated, but
our boys will never find it out"
A man in Illinois was bitten by a
rattlesnake seventeen years ago,
and is still taking whisky to cure
the bite
An old lady in Holland, whose
sole occupation was housewifery,
scrubbed her sitting room floor un-
til she fell through into the cellar
"Pa,p said a little friend of ours,
"what's'the use of giving our little
pigs so much milk? They make
hogs Of themselves Pa walked
off.
"How long do you wear shirt ?"
severely asked an inspecting Off
GER of a soldier, "Twenty- eight.
inches, sir" was the respectful re-
ply.
A contemporary thinks it must
be horrible on the battle field ito
hear the stided gIoans of the dying
and the heart-rending shrieks Of
the dead"
A Yankee has recently invented
a rat-exterminator, consisting of al
sort Of snuff. The animal is ex-
pected to jerk its head off at the
third sneeze.
When q man and q woman are
made one, the question is (which
OneW Sometimes there is a long
struggle between them before the
matter is settled.
Are you the mate of the ship p"
asked an emigrant Of the cook,
who was an Irishman,. "No, sir"
was the answer, "Pm the man that
cooks the mate"
A Wisconsin editor was called
out Of bed one night to receive
subscription. After that he set up |
nights for over a week, but the of |
fense wasn't repeated,
a Terre Haute bridegroom re-
fused to wed after he looked in the
family Bible and found that his
lady-loye was nine years older than
her mother had represented
An Irishman being asked why he
refused to pay doctors bill, said :
"Shure, he didn't give anything
but some emetics, and not a one
would stay in my stunmick at all,
at all.
A wise physician once said: "I
observe that every one wishes to
20 to heaven, but | also observe
that most people are willing to take
a great deal Of very disagreeable
medicine 6ift"
A lady was urged by her friends
to marry widower, and as an ar
gument they spoke Of the two
beautifulrhildren. "Children, I" re.
piled the lady, "are like toothpicks
"a person wants her own"
A little boy running, struck his
toe and fell on the pavement, "My
little fallow, don't cry, you wont
feeltie pain tomorrow" said a
bystander. "Then," answered the
boy, u won't cry Tomorrow"
tit is vain to stick your finger in
The water, and pulling II out, look
for hole, and equally vain to sup
pose, that, however large a space
you occupy, the world win miss
you when you have passed on.
A man in Ohio, while a collcc-
ton was taking to aid the heather,
poeketed all the money in the plate,
When asked to explain himself, he
replied that he was the greatest
hoathen in that section Of the coun-
try
The typos are well represented
in the North Carolina State Gov
There are no less than
ten prominent officials who were
printers, leading or with Governor
Holden, who toiled for years over
bis case"
"Johu," said poverty stricken
man to his son, 1--WE made my will [
.o.day.' "AhP replied John, {
You were liberal to nc, doubt.
ess N "Yes, John, came down
Eve willed you the on. .
ire State Of Virginia to make a i
living in, with the privilege Of go. .
ng elsewhere if you think you can
10 better"
A man in Arkansas has been sen
enced to be hung, but none OF the \
in The neighborhood A
will build his scafold. lie is him \
elf carpenter by trade, and the n
herif proposed that be should put &
Up the gallows. He says, however, &
hat Il is asking too much Of him,
md that he wont do it-that hen N
% unhanged thousand years be
ore he'll do IL.
An obsegyant philosopher lately g
expressed his belief that Russia and