Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-08-18
Wit and HumOr,
INCREASING in strength-butter.

|
ADVICE to the farmer-Keep your wealth.
er-eye open.
IF YOUR bootmaker sends boots boma
you can't walk in, you should walk into
him,
THE latest news from Europe Grim.
visaged war has not smoothsd his wrinklef
| front.
THE Mormons 10 not take kindly to Gem
Augur and have already voted him bio
bore,
A HIGH-scHooL boy thinks this is not 81
much OF :. Aeated term" a. heated vaca.
ton.
AN enterprising Wolverine has dug m
the fossil remains CT squaw who was ten
feet high.
THE ladies at Burlington are organizinoa
military company. We presume they will
use the needle gun.
AN 1NvENTER of ''a machine to facilitate
marriages has sent a model to the Patent
office at Washington.
A STREET paving contractor in Savannah
is named Cash. He ought to make money
as laborers work cheap for cash.
THE chap who attempted to use the
cream of joke on a plate of berries found
1t thinner than even the saloon standard.
WHAT is the difference between tempta.
ton and eternity? The one is a vile Of
devil, and the other is the devil of while.
A CORRESPONDENT asks us which is the
most serviceable weapon, the ''sassybox
rife or the thimble gun" We think it is
ONCE when bad man died, savage wit
being appraised OF the event, observed that
the average value of mankind was sensibly
raised.
! A TALLow-CHANDLER said he didn't mean
any disparagement to the sun when he said
that his candles were the best lights ever
invented
The Charleston Ill.) Courier says
young lady of that place has been celebra-
ting her wooden wedding by marryinga
! blockhead.
FUNCHINE1Lo says the new three cent
postage stamp has portrait of General
Washington, with General Green in the
background.
A PHYSIOLOGICAL teacher having put up
in his class room the device, Mems Sdnd in
corpore sdno, one of his young lady pupils
wrote under it, and ,1onen'S also.
A WESTERN editor says; Chat interest.
ing and highly profitable story The Tax.
List found on our fourth page, will be
concluded on the Sth of October"
PUTTING up the price of milk during the
dry line. is owing, no doubt, to the arid
pastures, and not to the low condition of
the brooks ponds and town pumps.
On tombstone in churchyard in u
ster is the following epitaph; Erected to
the memory Of John Phillips, accidentally
shot as mari of affection by his brother +"
JAMES FISK, Jr, declares that President
Grant shall not be passed free over the
Erie Railroad or on his steamboats, We
sympathize with the President in this ne
trial.
TALLYRAND, on being askedby lady the
meaning of non,intervention,r replied" Mad-
anne, non-inter yention is a diplomatic and
enigmatic word, which signifies the Same
thing as intervention.
A MAN out West, hearing that dry cop
peras put in a bed of ants would cause
them to leave, put some in his mother-in.
laws bed to see if she would go. he says
she was there al last accounts
"MAMMA," said an intelligent little girl,
twhat is the meaning of a book being pub
lished in limo" "Why, my dear, re.
piled the mother, sit means the bo0kw Will
IL bl,obal IN tua1va ,nnpths
| A DRUNKEN soldier in Detroit amused
himself one hot day by cutting off canine
caudalities with sickle. He was knocked
down Just as be had harvested his ninety
fourth tail--that of three-hundred-dollar
pointer.
'INEvER shot bird in my life" said .
gentleman to an lrishman, who rephea'
81 never shot any thing in the shape OLA
bird but squirrel, which | killed with
stone, and it fell into the river and was
drowned.
Most Of the contractors on the Albany
and Susquehanna railroad have been dis.
charged The Directors secured evidence
that they were in the habit of retaining
large portion of the money that come ln'o
their hands.
'REMEMBER, Mrs. b., said Bobus, ma
huster, one day, "tbat you are the weaker
vessel. MAY be so, retorted the lsdy,
"but I'll take care you shan't forget that
the weaker vesse! may have the strongest
spirit in it"
A YOUNG lady from the rural district'
went to Des Moines to see an elephant
In the street-cars the conductor said 10 Del'
Miss you. fare" "Well, if am sne
replied, 81 don't want any more OF YOU
impertlnence.
A gentleman remarked lately that lle
backbone of the hot weather seemed 70 NC
broken. One would ike to see the las
ments of that remarkable osseous loina,
ton, since all other bones appear 10 Aa'V
been turned to pulp.
A MEMPHIS reporter "has seen the SUI l
20 down in the hyacinthine waves Oh ".
Saronic gulf in the Mediterranean elt