The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1870-04-15
What Women are made OF.

"There was a time throughout the
great world,u says the Kickapoos,
"when neither on land nor IN water
was there q woman to be found. Vain
things there were plenty-there was
the turkey, and the blue-jay, the wood
duck and the wakon bird (; and noisy,
chattering creatures there were plenty
there was the jackdaw, the magpie,
and the rock; and gad-abouIs there
were plenty-there was the squirrel,
the startling and the mouse but OF
women, vain, noisy, chattering, gad-
about women, there was none. 1t was
quite still world to what it is BOW,
and it was a peaceable world too. Men
were in plenty, made of clay, and sum
dried, and they were then happy, oh !!
so happy! Wars were none then,
auarrels were none. The Kickapoos
ate their deer's flesh with the Potowat-
tonnes, hunted the otter with the Osa-
ges, and the beaver with the Hurons.
Then the great rather of the Kicka-
poos scratched the backs of the savage
froouois, and the .ruculent Iroquois re-
turned the compliment. Tribes which
now seek one another's scalps, then
sat smiling benevOlently in one ano-
theirs faces, smoking the never-laId-
aside calumut of peace.
"These first men were not quite like
the men now, for they had tails. Very
handsome tails they were, covered with
long silky hair; very convenient were
these apr endages in a country where
flies were numerous and troublesome
tails being more sudden in theif move
u,ents than hands, and more convent
en- tly situated for whisking of flies
which alighted on the back. 1t was
ple asant sight to see the ancestral man
ieis,urely smoking and waving their
flexible tails at the doors of their wig
wams i'm the golden Autumn evening,
and within were no squalling children,
no w ranging wives. The men doated
on tn cir tails, and they painted and
adorn ed them; they plated their hair
into beautiful tresses, and wOve bright
beads and shells and wampum with
the hair. They attached bows and
streamers of colored ribbons to the ex-
tremities of their tails, and when men
ran and pursued the elk or the moose,
there was a flutter of color behind
them, and tinkle of precious orna-
ments.
"But the red men got proud; they
were so happy, all went SO well with
them that they forgot the Great Spirit.
They no more offered the fattest and
choicest of their game upon the mema-
hoppa, or altar-stone, nor danced in his
praise who dispensed the rains to
cleanse the earth, and his lightnings to
cool and purify the air. Wherefore he
l.: i. ,or NIo 10 hmm hlo m, IN
by robbing them of what they most val
ued, and bestowing upon them q
scourge and aff1iction apequate to their
offence. The spirit obeyed his Master,
and. coming on earth, reached the
ground in the land of the Kickapoos.
He looked about him, and soon ascer-
tanned that the red men valued their
tails above every other possessiOn.-
Summoning together all the Indians,
he acquainted them with the will OF
the Wahconda, and demanded the in
slant sacrifice of the cherished men,
Der. 1t is impossible to describe the
sorrow and compunction which filled
their bosoms when they found that the
forfeit for their oblivion of the Great
Spirit was to be that beautiful and be-
loved appendage. Tail after tail was
laid upon the block and amputated.
1.-The mission of the spirit was, In
part, performed. He now took the
several tails and converted them into
vain, noisy, chattering and frisky wo-
men. Upon these objects the Kicka.
poos now lavished their admiration
they loaded them as before with beads
and wampum, and paint, and decorat.
ed them with tinkling ornaments and
colored ribbons. Yet the women had
lost one essential quality which as tail.
they had possessed. The caudal appen,
dage had brushed off IF man the wor
rying insects which sought to sting ol
suck his blood, whereas the new articl,
was itself provided with q sharp sting
called by us a tongue, and far IRON
brushing annoyances of man, II oe
came an instrument for accumuIaun:
them upon his back and shoulders
Pleasant and soothing to the primeva
Kickapoo was the wagging to and fr'
of the member stroking and fannIni
his back, but the new member becam
a scourge to lacerate.
However, women retains lndlca
tions of her origin. She is still bellows
as Of yore; she is still beautiful, wit
flowing hair; still adapted to trinket
nv. still she is frisky, vivacious an
s}appy; ;Snd still, as of old, does sh
ever follow iuan, dangling after him
hanging to his heels, and never, of he
own accord, separating from him.
..The Kickapoos, divested of thei
tails, the legend goes on to relate, wer
tormented by the mosquitoes, till th
Great Spirit, in compassion for the
woes. mercifully withdrew the create
mart of their insect tormentors. Over
joyed at their deliyeranee, the red me
supplicated the Wahconda also to r
move the other nuisance, the woman
but he replied the women were me ne
essary evil and must remain. Cur
ositios Of Olden Times.
4 man, in crossing a London sire
the other day; met woman and pus
ed hy her so hardly as to knock n
over. The police took him before u
municipal court, where he was flint