Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-04-05
From the St. Louis Republican.
THE GOOD TIME COMING.
Trial by Female Jurors of Female Cul-
prit.
FEMALE JUR1Es AND FEMALE OR

| FEMALE JUR1ES AND FEMALE CRIMINALS.
| Heaven protect that unhappy woman who is
yet to be tried before a jury of her sisters
1t any man ever sues me for breach of
promise or alimony. and the case is to come be-
fore female jury | shall prepare my soul for
another world. Nothing will save me. The
halter will be bought before the evidence is
the verdict, will see that the carpenter is at
work on the scaffolding necessary for the carry
Ing out OF female law and vengeance. This is
about the style of things | should expect
JURY RETIRE FOR DELIBERATIoN.
Forewoman-(To the eleven other unbiased
creatures )-"Well Mrs. Grundy, don't sup
pose there's any doubt in your minds as to the
guilt Of this awful thing-Miss Pettibone
You remember how she firted with Mrs Hem
stead's half witted husband right under our
noses? | never told you before, Mrs Hemp
stead, for didn't want to make trouble.
Miss T. and Mrs H. simultaneously
we remember-hanging is too good for her."
Forewoman to Mrs, Wolopper- Mother of
seven maidens, between 2S and 3S)-'I don't
presume you have forgotten the nasty things
doings-on at Saratoga wearing more clothes
than she could honestly have come by p"
Mrs. Wollopper (who recolects perfectly
well how Araminta and the rest of 'em were
unnotlced, while the prisoner under trial danced
with everybody, and enjoyed herself immensely
Her conduct was scandalous-she richly de-
serves hanging" 55-.a. f,,o.4 -, e.r;.
Five of the daughters being on the jury, cho-
rus a unanimous approval.
s. eri-i5ail THE VERDICT. s7aa7rrk ao as
In five minutes more all tongues wag at once
in rehearsing damniDg "reminiscences. The
jury start for the court room in double quick,
lest any weak mind form another opinion.
Handing black cap to the judge teach hav-
ing made one the night before, the forewoman,
with great dignity and looking horrible look
at the wretched culprit, thus delivers herself
"We fnd-that is Miss Pettibone and me-
that this vile, nasty thing hasn't begun to be
found cut in her dreadful doings, and we CEN
sure them young men on the back seats that
has encouraged her by bows and smiling whilst
We have been listening to the convincing evi-
dence of her guilt, and we find that in the evil
dence it hahn yet come to your worship and
honor, things that will make your hair stand
up on top of your head" )"
Bald headed Judge" Never mind further
narrowing details, come to your verdict"
Mrs. Grundy Indignantly That's just
what knew-the nasty thing always has the
men on her side-and didn't [ tell you, Miss
Pettlbone, that We d see the minute we give in
our verdict, We should meet opposition p
Judge (benignly) Render your verdict,
will you? 1t will meet 40 opposition from the
bench. +"
Mrs. Grundy (savagely)-"Perhaps some of
you would like to hear what this injured wo-
man, Mrs. Hampstead, can tell you OF the in
famous creature you are all so anxious to pro-
tect. M 81
Judge-'M Madam, if you have arrived at a
verdict, announce it and take up the time of
this court no longer.
Mrs Grundy, Pettibone. &C., blazing-"Yes,
we have come to verdict-Hapging is too
good for her.
Mrs: Wollopper-''She's 5 to be hung to-mor-
row afternoon at 2 clock
Mrs. Grundy (savagey)-''Be you head of
this jury or me? She's to be hung to-day"
A GENERAL ROW AND ADJOURNMENT.
General row in the jury box.) Judge (ye-
ling)-"Shut up these women and remove the
prisoner-ths court is adjourned. The jury
disagrees, and in this way | shall lipger on per-
haps-but finally be hanged here.