Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-09-04
TERENCE MIGRANT.
The President Goes 10 Newport, and
Teddy and Bridget Rum Things.

The President Goes 20 Newport, and
Teddy and Bridget Rum Things
Correspondence Of the New Yo;k Democrat.
Lone BRANCH, Augist Twenty SWIM
MISTER PUxMEBY-Ye mind that pas
sage of scripture finch says: "All men
are created fraa and aqual, endowed wild
uncertain fhatailsyonable rights, among
finch are life, deliberately pursued hsppi-
ness, and the like" Me Cousin Ulisses
said to me on Sunday, 'Teddy, bring
me the Bible!" Be CORA thought the
man was crazy, and l didn't know fhether
it was besht to indulge him In his wild
rawlings or not. It frsht occurred to me
he had neglected to get vaccinated, and
that he might have caught that Gu
taneous disease called repentance. -
that has been prevailing to a great
extent at camp-meeting near here, and
has carried off some of our most hard.
ened sinners. Then l meditated that the
disease must have tuck mighty firm
how'd on him to cause him to CRY out for
the Bible so sudden, whin divil the glance
had he given the good book since the early
part OF his life, whin he performed in a
circus on wake days, and attinded Sunday
school on the Lords Day, at the sugges-
ton OF ovid Jesse, who always ''sug-
glsted" such things to me cousin wild a
raw hide. As was saying, l feared to
give him the Bible on such short notice,
so tuck leather-covered book, pre-.
sented to me cousin be Democrat, who
thought me cousin deficient in knowl-
edge of the wording of the Constitution
and the Declaration of Independence,
and some such dead languages, handed
me cousin this book, finch he never saw
before, and the first thing that shtruck his
eyes was the passage quoted above, and
after reading it he said he never knew be-
fore that the Bible contained such beauti-
full language. He said it was equal, in point
of literary merit and convincing argument,
to Onything in ''Clsude Duval" or Gray
lays economical politics. Then says
he till me, Terrence, have me carriage
saddled up, and me thrunk and me wife
packed ct an early hour the morrow, and
| will throw off the cares of office, and
go to Newport to recuperate me exhausted
energies. The Bible says all men are en-
titled to the purshoOts of happiness, and
| will pursue her, even unto Rhode Is
land. If the people of Newport know
their business, as | am informed they do,
and presint me with bether house than
the one we now live 10, we shall move
there Immediately, and, be our presence,
give character till the house. In The Ian
guage of beautiful France, "Aw Reser-
voir." /
At an early hour on the following morn
ing "a solitary hoIseman might have been
seen, in a carriage wild a valise contain
ing five BOTTLES of cholera medicine and
cigars enough to keep the BOTTLES from
breaking, and the solitary horseman's |
wife, on the way till the dippo AS the |
train moved of, containing the head and
so forth of this great nation, including the |
cholera medicine, the aforesaid handed
me the following note, written wild a lead |
pencil on pine shingle:
To Terence McGrant, Assistant Presi- |
dent of the United States-Sir: During |
the three days absence of the Chief l
Magistrate, and the absence of the Vice /
president, who is unaccountably neglect
ing his duties by making speeches in the /
West, the cares and responsibilities of |
President will devolve upon you. You
will proceed TO carry out all plans that l |
may have inaugurated, and~support my
previously expressed opinions in every
thing, so far as my plans and opinions
may be known to you. Let US have peace.
Bridget has the key to the wine cellar
ULYSSES l.
Ony man that has liver been left in /
charge of great responsibilities can i'm
agine me feelings as l wendid me way
from the dippO till the cottage on the
bacle. pondered over that note till me
head ached, thrying to think that plans he
had liver inaugursted, but divll the won
could l think of, except a plan to get /
Bonner to prisent him wild Dexter, finch |
didn't appear to work. Thin l thried to |
remember fiat opinion he had ever ex-
pressed, finch | was expected to maintain, |
but divil the opinion could l bring to /
mind except those he had expressed wild
regard to fishky and cigars. But l gave
up thrying to fsthom the mystery, as l |
knew Bridget could see through it in a
minute. Arriving at the cottage, l tuck |
me seat in me cousins official chair, and |
ringing the bell, l ordered the servant to |
acquaint Bridget wild the fact that the AS |
sishtant President would have an interview
wild her. Bridget, who was engaged in the
pleasant and healthy recreation of wash
ing the back stoop wild soad suds, came in |
wild her sleeves rowled up, and says till |
me, says she:
"Teddy, ye sphalpeen, that are yez do
ing in that chair? Get out of it and pale |
the praties for dinner, or I'll busht the |
top of yer head like ripe melon"
This famail is getting distinguished at our |
mock Goldfish aristocrscy.
''Mrs. Assistant President" says ], |
''your ignorance of the position you oc- |
cupy, and your ignorance of the usages
of civilized society is a reasonable excuse
for the use of such language to the Brevet
Chief Magistrate. Favor me by perusal
of that shingle, as also your views on the
same.
This luscious famail reposed her schrub-
ing brush on the piano, and handing me a
bowl of soft-soap finch she had been
using, finch tashted of before l thought,
on the supposition that it was fishky, she
sat down Ontil the piano shtool and pro-
ceeded to unravel the signs of the zodiac
made on the shingle be me cousin. AS
the magnitude of our position gradually
worked its way through her Waterfall,
smile Illuminated her Mobile or New Or
leans mouth, and her countenance looked |
as open as navigation. She looked shwate |
at me, and says she:
Teddy, darlin' of me HART, forgive me |
for hurting your failings be a promise of |