The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1870-12-10


n young lady at a ball was asked by
her lover of serious poetry, wheather
| she had seen Crabbe's Tales. uWhy
! no, she answered, ssI didn't know that
| crabs had tails" g L beg your pardon,
Miss said he g mean have you read
Crabbc's Tales?'' "And assure YOU,
sir, T did not know that red crabs, or
any other kind of crabs, had tails"
\ reporter Of the Newburyport Her
aid says, and says it boldly: "Last
evening, as soon as Tithonus had re-
tired for the night, aud was enjoying
his first snooze, his spouse, the rosy
fingered Aurora, daughter of the morn
ing, snatchcd the saffron coverlid from
his bed, and wrapping it about her
danced Il jig in the northern sky"
The Rev. DR.. Cumming, of London,
in recent lecture on the prophesies,
held that the Crimean War was the
commencement of the great battle de-
scribcd by the Revclator, in the valley
of ArmaGedon, and that the present
conflict will not be the last; that the
spots in the sun, and present changes
in the structure of the heavenly bodies,
are Mltilmcnts of the prophesy, ss In
the last days there shall be changes in
the sun, and in tho moon, and the
stars
West Union, Iowa, has IL lawyer who
follows the formal phraseology of legal
documents towel, to IL considerable
distance. Drawing up Il complaint for
assault and battery recently, he made
the following rcprcutation of facts:
! And plaintiff further alleges that, Mt
said time and place, the said a. b. said
to complainant, If you come another
step nearer, III kick you to h-l,'
| 'shieh complainant st,iiY be1ieses he ~oalel
husc tlo2P.'' ,. .t
The latest instance of Il bold attempt
to lacer,,tH the feelings of Il lovely wn-
man has been put upon record by II lit
crary man of Brooklyn, and runs thus:
a gcntlcman of that city, we'll known
for his mild and gentle disposition,
took the cars recently to attend to some
business at Elizabeth, New Jersey.
The cars being nearly full, he was
obliged to take II seat with Il lady, as
the young men say, GO one of uncertain
age" Not daring to engage in convcr-
s,tion with her, he remained quietly
| thinking, until nearing, as he thought,
his destination, he Vcntured to remark,
'.Is this Elizabeth "' Instantly draw
ing herself up, she quickly replied,
"What do you mean, Sir"' Without
perceiving that she had made mis-
take, he again asked, Is this Glizo
beth ?:' FurioJsly turning to him, n,
with half-frightcned air, she scream
out, ss You may think you are Il g
tlcmun, sir, to address Il lady so, br
do not wist, to continue any farthes1y
18th YOU" r-----'
The convers:t' 'H'''
mated by the stop
the conductor S:ln2a ioh KS
ont :tt ftIiZ.fbpt n p'T--",
rose and left the cars, b1tt tAAt.AAfNSss,
| heard sufficient laughter to convin,
him of the many pcrils be4n,,co, -,
road travelling. II
Widowcr Smiths wagon stoppe,t-ss~
morning before Widow Jones', ana
gave the usual signal that he wanted
somebody in the house, by dropping h
elbows on his knees out tripped [,
| widow, lively ats Il cricket, with Il trc
mcnhous black ribbon on her snow
white cap. Good morning was soon
said on boil, sides, and the widow
waited for what was further to be said.
"Nrl Ma'am Jones; perhaps you
don't want to sell one of your cows, no
how, nuthin', no way, do you?n
"Wcii, there, Mister Smith, you
couldn't have spoken my mind better
| \ poor, lone woman like me, does not
| know what to do with SO many Great
urcS, and | should be glad to trade, if
we can fix it,
So they adjourned to the meadow
Farmer Smith looked at Eoan-thcn at
the widow--thcn at the Downing COW
then ut the widow again and so on
over the whole forty. Tho Same call
was made every day for II week, but
| Farmer Smith could not decide which
COW he wanted. At length, on Satur-
day, when Widow Jones was in Il hur-
ry to get through her baking for Sun
| day-nnd had ever 50 much to do in
| the house, aS all farmers wives and
widows have on sSaturday-she was It
little inpatient. Farmer Smith was,
| as irrcSoutc rs ever.
"That Downing COW Is pretty fair
crcat,,rc-but''-hcs stopped and glanced
at the Widows face, and then walked
around hcr--nOt thc widow, but tn"
! COW.
" That ere short horn Durham is not
Il badlool<ing beast, but l don't know
| another look at the widow.
The Downing COW L knew before
the late DIR. J ones bought her" Her,
he sighed at the allusion to the late
Mr.. Jones. She sighed, and they botl
looked at each other. 1t was II highly
interesting moment.
cold Roam is Il faithful old nilch
and so is Brin,ilc-but l have know,
better" \ long stare succeeded thi.
ward, and ut iast Mrs. Jones broke out
" Law! Mr.. Smith, if Tnl the COW
YOU want, do say sop