, 1870-07-17
TIT-BITS.

An exchange notes, as tho most harrow
ibe slgEt il ever saw, the spectacle Of gen-
tlenaan in dress suit Of black narrowing in 4
field, with = tall Plug hat on.
=" Sanho, did you ever See the Caiskill
Mountains: "No, sah but Eve seen en-
kilt nice"
=" ii, mr dear fellow" aail an old man
scnce to friend, " am quite weak aud broken
tie rask every day: but nov caa on1s walk
hall way round and blck again
"A revengefu1 individual, in the cxu5ctauce
OF his rage NJ rome one who had offended him,
said I'm have revenge. III do something
Bal ia not give sou Or shoe mat sher saonli-
Fer shoot thems as hard as to snlt them or sae,
And suicide It 10 this pHrEufn the sioux
-Smol1est tells an anecdotc Of half-crazcd
f7ee-thinker of his day, who, CHANGING in
| Home, stopped ono day before bust Of Jup1-
| Ter, and, having bowed low, thus addressed the
dc.hroned idol: 4'sir, If rouIshould ever &C..
! your head above water asain. hoEe ycn viii
remember that treated you politely In yoar
! adve1tity.
"A married couple went from the hrit.l
| ats. to dr. goods shop in keoknk, the othrs
! d.s. After s,.nd1y purchases had been made,
| the ignorant clerk asked the lady to bly hat
fe1 her bog. With quecp-like dignity she &c.
sro,,,lcd "So: have only been married
ahu,,, twenty MINUTES. have no boys yet"
| Faith and works we're we'll illustrated by.
Een,ureeornc little ei1-xear-old boy, who ran
INTO The forest after team and rode home
| mother il he wza not frightened when the
teau, cana down u very steep hill. he said:
.Yes : little but asked the Lord to help
ne, aud hung on like beaver"
Mrs, Barnes, Of Indiana. wa driving into
town for divorce, last week. when the horse
nm away, and her husband had to- ray her
funeral expenses. He eays ii il - iuss his
lrek. Two bours more and she would have
been her own cashier"
Al! efforts 10 make har hr s., light haye
fs,!ed but 1t ia discovered that Wild oats
can be scwn under its benign and cheerful
rsys
ehe wanted 70 SO to Sewport-so she told her
her dear pars, And whas isis rsay.r ssked
her mother, ;. that wish 50 much to ind for
you1 d.sr papa ?" "A bon-in.lkw," WAS the
gentle reply Of the btnshing m.iden.
-" The man nho raised 4 cabbage head has
, done more good than III the snetsphysscisns in
tie world" said q stump orator At a meeting.
'.Ihep." said wsE, ''your mother ought 10
have had the premium"
. "A wias physician once SKID: II observe
that ever one wishes 70 60 to Heaven: bns
observe alko that Enoat people are willing to
, take great deal of very aisasreeable medicine
+ fret"
: --.Msry Nagdalsn had seven devils cas1
, I ont Of hsr. never heard OF man having
| fEVeu QGFIt C1EE 0QI uI QlQl. HIUWlel an OIL
bachelor in tho course OF discussion On tht
i "wonaa question 80, they're not cas-
out get, believe" was the quiet response o'
9 his fir antagonist.
: Why docs the ocean commerce OF Amer
I ica remind ono Of the rulings OF a gallery
g because. Just now. it is simply ballast trade.
! Az bro1d "a it is long. 4 German statie
a I ticAl writer rtmaTta that the invention Of tn
sewing machine haa ensb1ed one woman +
E sew Is much se hundred could Sc. By han
|. century: but he confines. one woman no'
: demands n much clothing As > hundred
1 century sgo-so that rnatters are uot nucl
q changed. After all,
l. -"Mamma," !" said child one sundiy, eEan
!: ing, after having sat still in the house ~ "a!
d II doS't know. replied the mother; viz d
N shaking her head sadly, 'the ho!a ea!s
Honor thy fathe, and mother that tns "a!
10 may be long, and this ne oeeo' on' 't'e 1'-e
y NAf..eius,,pg Jouug widow. hasing ms1Tie
= ~ c3a.Tty nan, snnoyed him By frequent e
Is ferencss to her first husband" Theseas ID
= 1.nlied The fond creature .poutins her pTett
- ~. that vou will be glad to have me renen
= ber yon when seu are dead and gone and s'
he married again ,-..,.
"a for stealing chickens, but etoutly proteste
+. his Innocence, .'And Eou deny having take
ID the chickens, John :" asked The Court; = 4 q
- bose. sartiu. / never tux EN-. ~ But Il
be son" ':sar = Tou h.d them n roz
Is bands when arrested" "Ies, boss. but
Il. didn't stole EN-" "a How did you come
,st them :" II borrowed EN-" The OWN
" says not We'll, sou see, boss, he NJ
"a tsleep when I want to borrow dem chicken
an. didn't like to 'sturb him so I jus Il
ed EN-, and xaa Gwine back the next day to te
n. | him."
sex What IA the dineftnce petHeeu AAte %
RS | entry and Ryrons Conrad: hne was ~
.es 1 who loved to course hares; be WAS corsa
hy Who loved two ladies'
-The SNOW Yrs 30 deep IN Cheshire Count
ion New HAmpetsire, list wtnserl that it vas dH
me cult for persons meeting With teams to pa
Of | An eccentric citizen, well Known tn that cou
for y, md having defect in his speech, WIS CO
, Of ing to the viQigs With horse and sleigh, a
~ bai28 a5oc.. to Geet 4 stra15ss1 nth tea