The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-06-11


psragr~ph rejecting On the management of his
department, had ordered h;s nnderstraprers 70
throw cold water on our efforts 20 entertain the
public. The city news market was Gs dull Us
the leaden sky, and the country sheets, guiltless
ot any thing that savored OF the sensational.
we're in every OF the phrase wet blankets"
Melancholy as q dyspeptic owl, our livelics.
head and finding nothing in it bu: vacuum. A
bright thought struck Us. Such things will
sometimes happen to an editor, even in q north.
east rain storm. Let somebody be iAterg.e'ce8,'
We exclaimed, looking up at our plsysd-out
dNache. He Frightened mp and inquired who it
should be. We cogitated. The leading politi-
clans, fnsnciers aud clergy men had all been done
in fact. overdone. The public was tired of
them--it was OF no use 'going through" any Of
them again. Another bright idea flashed through
our pericranium. ''nrop in" said we. ION man
who has never yet been interviewed-a public
benefactcr, whose name has been before the peo-
pie tor thirty years, and TO whom thousands Of
them owe the good digestion that waits on appe.
tite and the health that waits on botb-a vete-
ran phi!anthropst, whose name, from our boy
hoods hour bus been as conspicuous on every
coign OF vantage as the handwriting on the WALL
in Belshanzars palace, and who at "a time when
but too many candidates for public favor are
weighed in the balance and found wanting
continues to enjoy the confidence of the masses.
In short 10 and pay friendly visit to Dr. Hoof-
land and report the result at these headquarters.
ut is bitter day remarked our special.
The more appropriate" replied, "ior an
interview with the discOverer of the most popu-
lar Bitter in existence Electrified 10y our bit.
tel pun, he took his hat and un,brela aui van
ished tolt M sUih.
In about an hour and half he returned with
the following
REPORT
Found DIR. Hoofand in his laboratory with
face as full of benevolent sunshine as . 0uy in
June, and opened fire upon him ut once.
I2porter-Good morning, doctor. have come
Doctor H. Idryly)-Ah In my young days
they Quilted that sort OF thing pump,na But this
10 tho ase OF "word.psinting Go ahead
Reporser-How old are you, doctor !! sess
Doesor-Well. you needn't mention it 70 the
ladies; but I'm Ia my eighty. year.
R<1Or.er-You are q wonderfully hale.looking
man for that age. Excuse me, doctor; but do
you take your own medicines?
D"ctor--1 do, young man. perhaps il did not
shouldn't be the 'hale fellow, we'll met" you
| seem to think me-
Rporter--I can remember your remedies ever
since was boy. Are they still as popular as
evsrp
Doctor-Unlsss my ledger and my bank &C.
count deceive me, young man, their ssle has
been steadily increasing tor more than twenty
years.
ReD0rtey-How much, Ut . rough guess, have
you expended iu advertising during that period
| Ioc!or--In round numbers, about million of
dollars. 1t costs great deal to guide the people
to heslth through She newspaper. The tolls on
the turnpike OF the Press are pretty heavy.
Reporter-Yes; but its the only road by which
. good thing can resoh the goal of universal pub.
licity and universal acceptance. What remedies
are you preparing now? r
Uoctor-Four: "Hooaand's German Bitters,"
''HoofAnd's German Tonic" "Hooaaud's Greek
OIL" and "HuoAand'. Podophylin extract Of
Mandrak.) Pills
RYDr!er--I should like 10 have brief account
of the nature OF these remedies.
IIortor--Csrtainly. The Bitters is composed Of
fluid extraots--the active principle Of roots and
herbs grown in Germany. 1t contains no alco.
hslic stimnlant, and is the most potent general
remedy known for Dyspepsia, Liver Comp Amt,
Janndice, Debility and all diseases of the diges.
tive aud secretive organs.
RprteTThe Tonic is made from the same
ingredients, and is intended for the same class Of
ailments, is it not
LlniOr--Yss; but it contains in addition a
certain amount OF pure Santa Cruz Rum, the
finest stomachc in the world, whore ditfusive
stimulant is necessary. II is also delightfully."-
favored with aromatic extracts agreeable to the
Bitters in cases where there is lack of consttu-
:,onul viyor aud vitality. 1t is also powerful
blood depurent, and purifier Of all the animal
fluids. .....t..
Ml~s:<r--Weli, doctor. and what is Greek
Oil.
D,rto,-The great antagonist OF pain. 1t in.
stantly alleviates the torture of Rheumatism,
neuralgia, toothschs, headache. enrache, sprains
bruises aud the like. Pain cannot long exist
when II 10 properly applied.
RD,1er-Tho Pills, doctor, what they:
H,ri0r--A compound vi five vegetable extracts
The alcoholic extract of Mandrake, called Podo
ply lin, which acts on the liver as powerfully as
mercury, without any of the evil effects of tina,
pernicious minera!, is the most important. Oh
the Others, one acts upon the stomach, two upon
the upper and lower bowels and the remaining
one render, the operation of all the rest painless
! Used in connection with the Bitters and thu
Tonic, ,hey ARE absolute specific for Liver
Complaint, Dyspepsia and Constipation. In
, deed know of no disease, not organic, which
can withstand the Alternative nnd rsuovatin2
effects ., these three remedies.
hepo,feT-. These are certainly remarkable
statements Can yun establish them by conpe
: tent proofs
U09"r---r Proofs sir--iook here. taking dow,
from shelf u thick quarto volume, and display
ing it, contents This contains over five hun
dred testimonials, and | can show you severa
more volumes OF the same size, II you will stel
into my library in the next room. Here turn
, ing over the leaves You see, are letters OF tn
!, strongest character from Hon. Geo. W. Wood
ward, formerly Judge of the Supreme Court O
P,nnsylvaria now member of Congress; Hon
James Thompson, our present Chief Justice
Hon. George Sharswood, Justice of the Supreme
a Court; Hon. W. r. Rogers, Mayor of Buffalo