The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1870-04-23
A Love Letter.

The following is sublimely splendiferous,
and we recommend it as a model to letter.
writer's
My DEAR Miss C.:-Every time think
Of you my heart fleps up and down like a
churn-dasher. Sensations of uRutterable
joy caper over it like young goats on a sta
BILE roof, and thrill through it like Spanish
needles through pair of tow linen trow-
sers. As a gosling swimmith with delight
in a mud puddle, SO swim in sea of glory.
Visions of ecstatic rapture thicker than the
hairs on a backing brush, and brighter
than the hues of a humming bird's pinions
visit me in my slumbers and borne on
their invisible wings your image stands
before me, and reach out to grasp it, like
a pointer swapping at a blue bottle fly
When first beheld your angelic projections
l was bewildered, and my brain whlrled
around like humble bee under a glass
tumbler. My eyes stood open like cellar
doors in country town, and lifted up my
ears to catch the silvery accents of your
voice. My tongue refused to wag, and in
silent alteration / drank in the sweet infec-
| ton Of love as thirsty man swalloweth
tumbler of hot whiskey punch. Since the
light of your face fell upon my life Isome-
times feel as if l could lift myself up by
my boot straps to the top of the Presbyte-
rian steeple, and pull the l-rope for sing
ing school. Day and night you are in my
thoughts. When Aurora, blushing like
bride, rises from her saffron couch when
the jay bird pipes his tuneful lay IN the
apple tree by the spring house when the
chanticleer's shrill clarion heralds the COM
ing morn; when the awakened pig ariseth
from his bed and grunteth, and goeth forth
for his morning refreshments; when the
drowsy beetle wheels his droning flight at
sultry neentide, and when the lowing cows
come home at milking time, think of thee
and like a piece of gum elastic, my heart
seems to stretch clear across my BOSOM
Your hair is like the name of sorrel horse
powdered with gold and the brass pins
skewered through your waterfall fill me
with unbounded awe. Your forehead is
SiuootilSl lHC CIuOW VI ill Olu COdt.-
Your eyes are glorious to behold. In their
liquid depths l see legions of little Cupids
bathing like a colbert of ants in an old
army cracker. When their fire hit me upon
my manly breasts, it penetrated my whsle
anatomy as a load of bird shot would 60
through a rotten apple. Your nose is from
chunk of parian marble, and your mouth
puckered with sweetness. Nectar fingers
on your lips like honey on BEARS paw,
and myriads of unfledged kisses are there
ready to fly out and light somewhere, like
blue birds out of a parents nest. Your
laugh rings in my ears like the windharps
strain or the bleat Of a stray lamb on
bleak hillside. The dimples in your cheeks
are like bowers in beds of roses, or hollows
in cakes of homemade sugar.
am dying to fly to thy presence and
pour out the burning eloquenee of my love,
as thrifty housewives pour out hot coffee.
Away from you am as melancholy as a
sick rat. Sometimes can hear the June
bugs of dependency buzzing in my ears,
and feel the cold lizards of despair crawling
down my back. UncOuth fears, like a
thousand minnows, nibble at my spirits,
and my soul is pierced through with doubts,
as an old cheese is bored with shippers.
My love for you is stronger than the
smell of Coffy's patent butter or the kick of
young mule, and more unselfish than a
kittens first caterwaul. AS the song bird
bankers for the light of day, the cautious
mouse for the fresh bacon in the trap, as a
lean pup bankers for new milk, SO 1 leng
for thee.
You are fairer than a speckled pullet,
sweeter than Yankee doughnut fried in
sorgum molasses, brighter than the top
knot plumage on the head of muscovy
duck. You are candy Kisses raisins, pound
cake and sweetened toddy altogether.
If these few remarks will enable you to
see the inside of my soul, and me to win
your affections, l shall be as happy as
woodpecker on a cherry tree, or stage
horse in green pasture. If you cannot
reciprocate my thrilling passion will pine
away like poisoned bedbug, and fall away
from the 1ourishing vine of life, an untime-
ly branch; and in the coming years, when
the shadows grow from the hills and the
philosephic frog sings his cheerful evening
hymns, you, happy in anothers love, can
come and drop a tear and catch a cold upon
the last resting place Of
julius EPAMINoDUs MUGGINs.