The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-01-20
Where the Laugh Comes in.

When may a smith be said to commit
felonyl When he forges.
A Ahorse'steeth tell how old the creature
is but woman's tongue doesn't.
Why is butchers cart like his boots
Because he carries his calves there.
81 don't say as how NIissus drinks, but
dokiOw that the bottle in the dark closet
don't keep full all the time"
When may q man be strictly said to be
in the habit of always sleeping his wordl"
When nobody will ever take it.
A celebrated wit was asked if he knew
Theodore Hook. eyes," replied he /;
'4look and eye are old associates"
An editor out West says he is so short
sighted that he frequently rubs out with
his nose what he writes with his pencil.
An amateur astronomer says: "The
light supposed to be comets tail, is no.
thing more than streak of Lightning friz
up.
The brutal sport of bull batting has long
been abolished, but how many are there
even in the present day who bait their
horses!
"Pooh, pooh ]" said wife to her expiring
husband as he strove to utter few parting
words, "dOn't stop to talk but go on with
your dying"
A lap-dog biting a piece out of male
visitors leg, his mistress thus expressed
her compassion "Poor little creature
hope it will not make him sick"
"My son." said an old lady, chow must
Jonah have felt when the whale swallowed
him :" ga little down in the mouth,
suppose" was young hopeful's reply.
"Off she goesn said Mrs. Smith to her
spouse, as they started by the railway train
from Nine Elms. "Thero you are wrong"
said Mr.. Smith, "for thisis the mailtraim!"
A moral debating society out West is
engaged in discussion on the following
question: "Ifa man deserts his wife,
which is the most abandoned, the man or
the womanW
Charles H.. having asked at levee how
one of his ENJOYS, lately sent to a half-civ-
ilized country, had Jared, was Informed
that he had been we'll roasted. "I'll take
care (said his majesty how send them a
raw ambassador again"
A young lady from boarding school
yii"Ving made some progress in acquiring
Italian, addressed few words to an organ.
grinderin her purest accent, but was aston
ished at receiving the following response
81 no speak Inglis."
The following advertisement appeared
in the London Times: "Wanted, in a
house of business in the city young man
to wait at table, &c. He should be pious,
BUT must be moral. Address stating
qualifications and wages, to ABB"
"Pa," said an interesting juvenile to an
indulgent sire, Spa, haven't got veto as
we'll as the President!" "No, my child,''
eyes, 1 have, pa-my fifth toe is V toe,
| reckon" ''Thomas take that boy to his
mother-he's ruined"
An aged Forfarshire lady, knowing the
habits of her old and spoilt servants, when
she wished note to be taken without loss
of time, held it open, and read it over to
him, saying, There moo, Andrew, be ken
a. that's int; moo dinna stop to open it but
jest send it off,"
General Smith, in Congress, while de-
livering one of the long prosy speeches for
which he was noted, said Henry Clay.
"You speak, sir, for the present generation,
but l Ispeak of posterity." eyes," replied
the great Kontuckian, sand it seems you
are resolved to speak till your audiance
arrives"
"Gentlemen (said a pedler), the razors
Ihold in my hand were made in a cave,
by the light of diamond, in the province
of Andalusia, in Spain. They can cut as
quick as thought, and are as bright as the
morning star. Lay them under your pill
low at night, and you will find yourself
clean-shaved in the morning"
"Tissiger's jokes are rather far-fetchcd,"
observed one ofthe would-be wits Of West
minister Hall. "If they are," replied the
facetious barrister, who happened to be in
hearing, sit cannot be said of them as it
is of yours-that they are not only far
fetched, but when they come they are not
worth the carriage"
Pat, the favorite hostler of Gen. B., of
Shefman's Georgia army, got on one occa-
sion unmistakably drunk. The General
gave him lecture on discipline-the du-
ties of a soldier towards his superiors, and
temperance-rather mixed but pery strong,
and concluded as follows:
"Why, you were very drunk yesterday,
too"
"Yes, sir" Pat promptly replied.
"And you're drunk again"
every drunk" said pat, 81 know it to
my sorrow, General"
II won't allow this any more if it oc-
ours again, I'll send you to your regiment
for extra duty. Pm willing that you may
get drunk half as often as do-won't
that do you :"
"Well," said Pat, grinning, 81 dunno,
General, uon'U keen me niohtu bnsp,"