The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-12-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


THE cobbler has sole purpose in life.
A SURE way to make an impression
Fall down in the mud.
4 DOCTORS motto is supposed to be ''pa-
tients and long suffering"
y YOUNG lady of Boston counted among
her wedding presents, recently, eleven pie
knives
My first is equality, my second is in
feriOrity, and my whole is superiority.
Peerless.
NEARLY every considerable city in
Europe has charitable Home for Con
sumptives."
A THANKSGIVING turkey in Syracuse
got away and made an ugly hole through
$3.50 pane of glass.
SOME wit has discovered that the "em-
bers of the dying year are September,
November and December.
DEATH is the great persuader, and
works more successfully than all the other
agents of the Washington Life.
OVER $4,000 have been received for
conscience sake at the United States Treas
ury since November 30, 1863
AT Altoona, Pennsylvania, the police
furnish the liquor dealers with lists Of per
sons to whom il is unsafe to sell intoxicat-
ing drinks
MA" said Fred, II should rather he
wild turkey, and live my life out on the
prairies, than be a tame turkey and be killed
every year"
A NEW HAVEN couple, recently cele-
brating their golden wedding, exhibited a
piece of cake reserved from their marriage
ceremony fifty years ago.
THE Supreme Court Of Massachusetts,
has decided that a contract made and carried
into effect on Sunday cannot be repudiated
by either party.
A KANSAS CITY artist committed suicide
the other day because he could not pay his
tailor The tailor wants to know how that
helped matters.
THE anatomist who has discovered
new muscle in the human body has taken
out patent, and no one can use the muscle
without paying royalty.
THE Mutual Life Insurance Company
of Chicago is a favorite with the inSuTing
public. 1t is one of the few companies
which show good increase during the
past year.
\ RAPTURED writer inquiries: "What
is there under heaven more humaniZing, or
if we may use the term, more angelizing,
than a fine black eye in lovely woman?"
Two black eyes, is the ready answer
THOMPSON is not going to do anything
more in c0nundrums He recently asked
his wife the difference between his head
and hogshead, and she said there was
none. He says that is net the right answer.
Two men have been sentenced TO four
months Imprisonment and hard labor for
obtaining money from weak-mirded per
sons in London toward paying of the IA
tional debt of England.
JOHN said father to his son one day
when lie caught him shaving the down
off his upper lip, don't throw Your shay
ingwater out where there are any bare
footed boys, for they might get their feet
pricked."
WHAT is the difference between sixty
minutes and my youngest sister, asked
precoci0us boy of his grave uncle. Il don't
know what is it," was the uncle's reply.
why, ones an hour, and the others our
Ann" was the stunning explanation.
NURSE cannot allew butter and Jam,
too. on vour bread Master Alfred. 1t Is
very eXtravagant." Master Alfrcd-"It can't
be extravagant, Mary, if the same piece of
bread does for both"
A GENTLEMAN having pony that start
ed and broke his wife's neck. ncichbor
told him that he wished 10 purchase it for
his wife to ride upon. NO" says tho 9th
er, AZ will not sell the little fellow, be-
cause intend to marry again.
SOME idea of the enormous facilities al
forded for locomotion 10y the railways en-
tering London is given by a statement
which shows an average of about fifty -four
trains per hour, or nearly one per minute,
during the whole twenty four hours OF the
day.
A NEW ticket printing machine, which
has Just been patented in England and
Prussia, prints railway tickets on both
sides, perforates them, and numbers them
consecutively by one process, and docs all
this at the rate of 200 and 800 minute.
The American Tract Society, OF Bos-
ton, Mass, have made a grant of 5OOO
copies of their magazine, the SdJbUh al
Home, TO be distributed among the United
States troops at the forts and stations Of
the army in the far West, for winter read
ing.
ONE Maine editor has sued another
Maine editor for defamation of character,
and the defense is understood 10 be that,
in the first place, the plaintiff had no
character to speak of, and that, even if he
had, nothing the defendant could say
would injure anybody
A FOUR hundred dollar doll is a novelty
in the New York market, whereupon the
Express, of that city, asks: Can we
wonder that a genuine, fiesh-and blood
bellies outfit for an evening may be made
to reach the value of a small fortune, when
human ingenuity and extravaganza have
united to dress doll to the actual value
of $400y"
DRoUTH AND PoTAToEs.-HodTTh and
Home points 10 lesson from the drouth
in the fact that potatoes which were
planted on or near the top of the ground
in sections where the drouth has been ex
cessive, were hardly worth digging. while
those in adjoining fields which were pun al
the bottom of a deep furrow and never
hilled at all, yielded well.
A ROGUE lately gave waiter at we'll
known cafe in Brussels a ten-franc piece.
The waiter very correctly pronounced il
bad i et me see il again" said the fell
low; then examining it carefully, he ex-
claimed i'm a loud voice. as he put il back
in the walters hand. "ObServe the date.
1913; do you really suppose that if it was
bad they wouldn't have found it out by
this time? ?" and promptly departed, leaving
the astonished gdrcOR piece in hand.