The union Democrat., 1870-07-09
OLD BOOSTERS.

Most Of these Old Roosters are unmarried.
Some Of these Old Roosters will when 9
young hen chicken passes BY, rush to ofhce
and store doors and windows and crane and
twist their necks three or four feet even so
that without stirring from their tracks they
may follow With their eyes the young hen
chicken around two or three corners.
The Old Rooster as compared With the
Young Rooster affects an indifference towards
women. He knows them all. He has
studied the Sex. There is nothing new un-
der the Female Sun. Women will do to
amuse ones self with, like hunting, billiards
or cards. A new game comes along once in
n while. That. Of course is interesting until
the novelty wears of. Oh Yes! Women
are pretty, trifiing, amusing creatures.
This is the Old Roosters lie. 1t is hisweak
deception wherewith he seeks to delude the
Community. For he thinks of women from
morning till night. lie dreams of them from
night till morning. He is always in love
with from one to dozen. Alone, be builds
the softest, sickest, spooniest of sentimental
air castles and INDUCES in the tenderest of
love-sick conversations with his imaginary
Beloved. Outwardly, he affects directly the
reverse Of this character and at night goes
straight home and if there be two pillows on
his bed he idealizes one intoa woman's neck
or waist and sleeps with his arm thrown
round it. this poor, old, miserable draggle.
tailed brag with o cracked crow, and dys-
peptic gizzard.
These Old BOOSTERS fall in love with chick.
ems not pin-feathered, and with chickens
scarcely out Of the shell. They affect a
fatherly sort of air with young misses. who
have not shed short dresses; they tclk to
them of their books, their school and their
studies and they look down on these occu.
pants of the trundle bed in q grave, wise
notwithstanding way.
This is another of their weak, added de-
ceptions. For they are in lore. In love with
little chickens for whom they might be grand
fathers 1t is for these also as they pass
that the Old BOOSTERS crane and turn and
elongate their necks and twist their eyes into
a squint when they think no one sees them.
have at such time and occasion seen an
Old Rooster. who deemed himself in the most
secluded privacy smito his forehead and shed
tears. Then he went out and took q big
drink. The chicken was but ten years old
That same evening he gave an impromptu,
conversational discourse on the proper method
of managing women and laid it down as a
fundamental truth that no sensible. man
would care to marry after forty have no
doubt but that when he went to bed he slept
with one arm around bis spare pillow.
Old Roosters sometimes 60 peoking around
private hen-coops. They become day time
confdants of old married hens who may tell
great deal more than is necessary about the
connubial tifs and jars going on in the do
mestic roost. The Old Rooster has great
deal of sympathy to spare and when he leaves,
he nurses and to his heart cuddles the idea
how that poor, neglected hen may even now
be thinking how much more agreeable and
attentive is certain Old Rooster who is not
her husband than is another Old Rooster who
is her husband.
However, doors may not always be left too
long or too widely open even for Old Roosters.
When the Old Rooster reads this he will look
grati6ed and knowing and carry his head
higher than usual for two or three hours.