The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-18
a8rit au6 Bu,ttur +.

- A mans triend-a dollar or two.
The more, the more so.
The spen dthrift's prayer-'Leave
me a--loan xill your"
- A Philadelphia boy has "hair
resembling crys:alized rat tails"
- The world Is round--so are live
yy,ung men OF nights.
- Can small girl weeping be call
ed orisisp
- sour faced wife is the liquor
dealers friend.
- Perhaps the best definition of
the brink OF ruin is the brink of the
goblet M
- Why is a dog with broken leg
like a boy at arithmetic? Because he
puts down three and carries one.
- When Tennessee girl Is slyly
kissed, she puts'on frowR and says ::
''pnt that article right back, sir, where
yen stole it from"
lille !" eiasulatsd q tipsy hus-
bad MS he stumbled up stairs. facet,
answered his wife. completing the quo
tatioi as he fel: Gu the landing.
- There are few sights more pa
thetlc and sublime than to sec poor
virtuous young man, full Of Christian
fortitude, struggling TO grow NOUS
tache.
- A man warned his wife in New
Orleans not to light the fire with kerr
osene. She didn't heed tho warning.
Her clothes fl. his second wife remark
ably we'll.
- A little girl repeating her Sab
bath lesson, gave new version to a
q. It,~a 80 A. ~
God and mamma
Few men would attempt to dry
dampened gu,powder in kitchen
stove. A man in Canada, did. His
afflicted family would be glad of any
Information as to his whereabouts.
- A man IN New Hampshire the
other day ate fifteen dozen raw oysters
ona wager. The silver trimmings Oh
his coffin cost twelve dollars and
thirty five cents.
- On the Western end some of the
railway trains ruI 20 slow that they
have to detacll the a0w catcher from
tho engine and put it OF the rear car
t. keep the cows from running over 1t.
I'll like to see the dear little crea-
lures amusing themselves" said Mrs.
Brown, when her elder boy took the
visitors new bonnet aud fixed it to the
tail OF his Kite. 81
"Neyer fear,' said the good matron
TO her visitor, when she saw her bon
snetln the air, ''soon as the kite comes
down he will give it to you.'
- Another, I'm afraid q fever
would go hard with me-"
''Why. my SOM"
.'CaIse you see mother, I'm 81 small
that there wouldn't be room for IL to
turn"
-- A young fellow at a candy pull
ling the other night sat down tn a mar
BILE slab nicely covered over with but :
tertto prevent saccharine adhesion.
He hasn't stuck to ANY one thing slice.
Two little girls were heard ore
morning engaged in a dispute as to
what their amothers could do" The
dispute was ended by the Youngest
child saying: "Well, there's one thing
my mother can do that yours can't
my mother can take every one of her
teeth out at once"
- a witty urehin.-A gentleman
ospying number of mischievous little
rogues II. the act o. carrying off guam I.
tlty of fruit from his orchard, without
sleave or licese, bawled out very iusti-
y.'What are YOU about there. yout ras-
Gals ! about going,' said one, as he
seized his hat. and scampered off at a
double quick time.
- "But father, you know love
makes time fiy," said an enthusiastic
daughter who was arguing IN favor of
longer trip than usual. Eyes, my
dear, I know it does at first, but you
find that in the end time makes love
NY"
- During fine starlight evening
o three year old philosopher, after a
silent and apparently profound scru-
tiny of the heavens, asked his mother
abruptly where the starr came from.
= Mamma replied: lo
~ don't know, Willie"
''Yes, yon do, too.n
"No, Willie, don't know where the
stars came from"
''Weil, you bet do. Tho moon laid
'em."
- In the Wisconsin Legislature the
pages have been conducting themselves
In free and easy manner, throwing
spit-balls at the Speaker and playing
lsap-frog and hop scotch up and dow il
the Ai-les. The members at last have
determined to interfere in "a most heart
less manner with this Joyous hlarity
and a bill has been intro luced forbid
ding skinny in the chamber. making
1t y penitentiary offence to play mum
ble-peg' on the members desk, and n
capital crime to stick crooked pins and
carpat tacks, points upward, in the
chairs. This. it is thought, will be an
effective remedv. We think that some
Of these pages need turning ovcr-or
the knee.