The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1870-04-27
Brief Mention.

When is a grocer like highwayman
When he lies in weight.
Cincinnatiis is ambitious for the bigge.
hotel in the country.
| A Wall street clerk won $4,000 at far
ami was paid by John Morrissey.
Ills noticed that all the severe storms
this year. have come ON Sundays.
The Texas Legislature has refused /
| elect chaplain, thinking itself past pray
ing for.
The most exclusive circle-the Arcti
circle, which no cne has succeeded ii
getting into.
Fashionable women are like the con
ventional school mistress believ'
in the switch. -
1t is easy to break into an cid mani
house, because his gates are feeble and hi:
locks are few.
she tbarrAarries . -uran- -becaase. be -
good match, must not be surprised if be
turns out luciler.
Some of the Florida hotels have holes
in the floors, instead Of going to the ex.
pense of spittoons.
A ''mine Of petrifed mud turtles" has
been found in Montana They should be
used for moeis-turtle soup.
Father viii settle the. bill'' is the sug-
gestise title of new song. We know q
good many fathers that won't.
1t seems silly for men TO wear corsets
when they go out yetit is very desirable
for them to have stays at home.
Several new and elegant dog carts, Of
the genuine English style, have recently
appeared in New York Central Park.
Il any one wishes to borrow anything
of you this month you can safely tell them
that ''i,'s Lent
A backward spring is produced BY
presenting d red hot poker to mans
nose.
Never speak boastingly of your bus
mess; keep Jour own counsel about the
management Of your affairs.
BE always sure of doing good. This
viii make yoar life comfortable. your death
happy, and your account glorious.
The love Of money increases as fast as
our wealth, and be who has none wishes
for it the least
A crus'y old bachelor says that adams
wife was called Ere because when she APP
pearsd mans day Of happiness vas draw
ing to a close.
A lady in Indiana, with hair ten feet
long receives $40 per week for merely sill
ting in a hair-dresser's shop as show.
4 verdict for SIS. 900 was rendered on
Saturday against the Adams Express
Company for large lot OF peaches land
ed at Fortress Monroe instead Of New
York in 1867.
a Pennsylvania girl has reclaimed her
reHss ~ ~ teauss lie ,sosiid marry
her
Repeat not shat thou nearest By chance
Speak not Of what thou seest by chance.
Remember tbs, and no trouble shall ha-
rass thee.
The Iowa IA men lately run an indie
penden, localteket. 1t didn't amount to
a grease spot, aud their f4t was all in the
FIRE.
! charity scholar, under examisation
in The Psalms. being asked: What Is
the pestilence hat walketh in darkness p
replisd, please, sir, bed-bugs.7
a Cincinnati. circus-rider undertook to
go around the ring 200 times the other day,
standing on his head. His brains all ran
down into his skull and killed him.
4 lady wished seat in crowded halI.
\ handsome gentleman gave her g. clair
You are a jewell she said, 40 no,
am a jeweller;; have just setthe jewel"
A publisher ofa Juvenile magazine com
plains that he has an over supply Of kit
ten poetry" He don't appear to like that
sort of news.
"Remember who you are talking to,
siri' said an indignant parent to a face.
tious boy; Il am your father, sir!" i
" Well, who's 10 blame for that p said young
-.tisn't me-
Kind word; are among the brightest
flowers of Earth; they convert the hum
blest home into paradise therefore use
them especially around the freside circle. !
Specie payments" have been suspended
by nearly all the stores and saloons in
New York that were giving out silver
change a week ago.
A Yankee paper says, in an obituary
notice that the deceased had been for
several years a director OF a bank, not
which he died a Christian,
and universally respected.
rs that marble ?" inquired a gentleman,
pointing to bust of Kentucky's great |
the other day, in New York
store. mo sir! that's Clay promptly |
replied the dealer.
A distinguished poulterer says, that |
he occasional use of onions, mixed and |
ed to poultry with their other food, is one
IF the best ways of keeping yard of !
poultry in health.
An excellent old deacon, who, having |
Won fine tarkey at a charity rattle, didn't |
ike to tell bis severe orthodox wife how
he came by it, quietly remarked. as he
handed her the fowl, that the Shakers"
rave II to HIM
When any man speaks i'll of US, we are
o make use of it as caution, without
roubling ourselves at the calumny. He is
n wretcled case, who rules himself upon
,ther peoples opinions, and depends upon |
heir judgment for the peace of his life.
There was almost duel at lao gansport,
nd. the other day. A paper in that place |
iays that by dint Of extraordinary effort |
he seconds assisted the combatants on
he ground. Two more detected victims
IF wounded honor we never saw. The |
,~aI;,n;nar rias were oIicxlv arran9ed bv |