The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-09-29
TIo,5T5 q IIoEe 4 Thousand Dollars.

NV. getting tho better Of my Wite's
father 4 one Of the richest things on re-
cord. pllte|l You how ii was. You must
know, that, he 6, mopstrOus stingy. The
COMPLAINT seems 10 run. Ii the family, and
everybody round our paris used to notice
thai; he never BY any chance asked any
body 10 dine with him. So one day, tist
7 for q chunk Of fun, j sai1lto u friend Of
mine, Jeddy-"l'Il bot you pcnn'orLh Of
shoestrings ginst a row Of pins, that get
old Ben McFkins, that's my wite's father,
10 ask me to dinner. i!'.. '''''
Yeou get on" said Teddy; why, yeOu
might as we'll try 10 coax cat into a
sh0werbath, or get mO0nbGams cout Of
cowcumbcrs" .-,I
swell" said !, "Tm going to try"
And try l did, and III tell yeol how l
went TO work. ...... r....,..
Y Jist as old Ben was sittin' down to din.
rier, at ! O'Clock, brushed up 10 the house,
At a high pressure pace, red.hot in the
face, with my coat-tails inthe air, my eyes
rollin' about like billiard ,bullssin cOllVul.
sions. Observation-Disclosures. l
kicked up an awful rumpus, and in flash
out came old Ben himself. / had struck
the right mint. He had q napkin under
his chin, and carying.knife in Z his hand.
smclt the dinner as he opened the door.
20, Mr.. Mcrkins," said !, "rm tarnatlon
glad to see you. feared you mOugln't
DO at home-Im almost out Of breath.
Tn come to tell you / can save YOU n
thousand dollars.M ."s @T l'T,:al
"a thousand dollars" roared the old
man; and defy weasel 10 80 "pOp"
quicker than his face burst into smiles.
"A thousand dollars YeOu don't say 80
Du tell
"Ohr' said I, ~ see you are justhavin'
dinner meow, III 90 I'M dine MYSELF and
then I'll come buck and tell you all about
it." ...f,..-..---.....
"Nonsesc," said he, "don't go away;
come in and sit down, and enjoy yourself,
like good fellow, and have a snack with
mo. am anxious to hear what you have
to say."Dfa ,. .t,'lt 2aylT.I ~ M =
I pretended to decline, sayin' I'D come
back" but I'd thoroughly stirred up the
old chaps curiosity, and it ended BY his
fairly DulIin' me into the house, and I
made d rattlin' dinner Of pork and beans.
managed for some time 10 dodge the
malp point Of his inquiry. At lastI fin
ishcd eating, and there was no further cxT.
cuse for delay besides, old Ben was
sComc, 4eGw," said he mo more pre-;
face. About that thousand dollars; come,
let it out" a., .f.y-i-s..,,cy j
swell, I'll tell you what" said !, "yeou
have dartcr, Misery Ann, to dispose of
lin marriage, have you not? "g., .a'l
A Whats that got to do with II" inter
ruptcd lie.
"lIold your proud stccds-don't run off
the tEnCk-a great deal to do with" said
/. '"NcOw answer my question"
"Well,r said he, II have" ~ ~
sand youintend, when she nlarries, TO
give, her $4,000 for portion" .7i.li
"IdO," he said. -. NJ.
"Well, meow, there's the pint I'm COM
ing tewt Let me have her, and I'll take
her with 49, 900; and So, 900 from $l0,-
900, aGcordin' r, 10 simple addition jlst
leaves 81 900, and that will BIO clean profit
-snVcd rs slick as a whistlc! s''
Thenext thing L. knew there was
rapid interview going on between old
Ben's foot and my cpat-tailS-and ! am In
clined 10 think THE latter got the worst
OF it. = ''.''- - '''su ''.'..'7