The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-06-24

l have a great mind to expose him to
| her-but then
Yes, then all my pre-matrimOnial
! larks and fOllies will come out. My
! innocent little Bessie is so correct, and
! so ignorant of this naughty world, that
mOle-hills, in her eyes, will be noun
! tains. l am determined some day to
confront the danger. I will sit down
some evening at Bessie's feet and make
a clean breast of it. There is really no.
! thing to tell; but there is a wonderful
deal that a WOman's imagination may
surmise, if John Smith keeps up his
pretended mystery. Bessie only laughs
as yet. wonder if she really knows
anything of our former frOlics?
The man will drive me desperate
Yet I may laugh toO-if those may
! laugh who win. My petty cash shows
better balance than / ever knew be-
| fore. I have discovered that it actual
! ly costs less to support a ma wife
than to maintain bachelor. So John
Smith may think he has his joke; but
| the best of the joke is mine. Yet, oh,
Bessie, Bessie! If you only knew me
as I am, without the varnish with
! which that brother of yours has cover
| ed me, am sure you would like me
| all the better.
II.-FRO0I JOHN SMITHS STANDPOINT
William Jones was a tip-tOp fellow
befOr6~8e married my sister Bessie {;
and now he has settled down, in a
months time, into such a hum-drum
family man, that he is not worth con-
Tossing as an acquaintance, much less
claiming as q friend. l am surprised
that any man, with Jones' experience,
could be 50 conquered and reduced to
penal serVitude. For his condition is
no better. He is suffering the pains
and penalties of matrimOny. No long
er can he promptly answer whether he
can make an appointment, or keep
one. Perhaps Gin the wife's name
there is a tower of strength ;" but L
can't perceive how ringing a belle can
give her so much advantage. Perhaps
she gives out u more certain sound
Yet fancied l knew all the weapons
in her armory, and could resist them
all.
Tears? Don't [ know all about
them? When she pretended that was
in the highrOad to destruction, haven't
l left her, many morning, like NiObe;
and found her all right and smiling
when l came home to dinner; all rea-
dy to do anything, or to go anywhere
that l might suggest; and only too
happy to be asked?
EXpOstulatiOns Have I not heard
them on all subjects; boots, hats, gloves,
coats, and especially cigars the thea
tre, the opera, the billiard room, and es-
pecially base ball ?
Threats? ? Has she not declared,
many a time and oft, that she would
tell mamma ?n And when did she
do it, pray? What escapade Of mine
has she not covered over, for fear mo-
ther would detest me? And her hus-
band, the milk-sOp, has no mother to
fear, not even a mOther-in-laW. For
our maternal relative chooses to keep
her own house, and me in it. l honor
her wisdom and reciprOcate her aftec-
ton
Seedlings? ? And what Of seedlings d?
If sister had nOAscolded l should have
feared that she had outlived her afiec
4 ton, and took no more interest in me.
Ana what if she would sit up and wait
for me every night? I told her there
was % need of it. If, alter Rt, out Of
pure az ton, or pure Obsunacy, or
cOmpoO Of affection and Obstinacy,
she chose to sit i'll the parlor till ] camQ'
in, and intercept me in the hall, whad
matter? 1t was cheerful to find sOmeS
! body waiting up for you. L could ~
nance enormously about my pleasant
and profitable evening with William
OOIGSJ LSq. LllOuSiJ SOObiA " SeA = II
was not always that ] had spentE he
| tripping. Just as l was inventng
something which Jones had said to me,
| and something which / had said to
Jones, [ happened to discover that he
| bod spent the evening with my sister.
! 1t Wi 5 convenient, moreover, to have
Bessie to wait up for me. She could
assist me at breakfast in correcting my
mothers misappTehensiOns in regard to
the time of my coming home. My
dear mothers notions about clocks and
hours were always exceedingly vague
and unreasonable, after she had once
| herself retired to rest.
Temper? Well, yes, Bessie certainly
has some spirit, and there's the fun OF
| it! And poor Jones, in and out of the
house every day for years, never sus-
pected it! Don't l remember when he
stepped upon her skirt, and tore the
dress "half out of the gathers" as he
was taking his leave one evening?
" It's of no consequence whatever,
! Mr.. JONES'" she declared with the
blandest smile and the sweetest voice.
But I saw the lurking-sOmething ng-in
her eye. When l came back from
showing poor Will out, didn't 1 hear a
! squalI, aye, and see one too? Indeed,
I might have felt it besides, if / had not
retired in prompt time and in good CT
der. But when Jones retireS his wife
TetiTes with him. He cannot escape
when an evening breeze sets in.
think the worst plaques of Egypt were
the frogs, because they came up into
the chambers. a
And so, the Rext time we met, he
magnified to No Bessie's exceeding
good sense, and ner sweet temper, heI
dom from faulC-hnding or suspicious
temper. Was / to undeceive him? !
could not. l did not. only Ventured
the suggestion that Bessie was q pretty
little simpletOn. / could not 90 ON and
let him into the secret that she was q
fOrty-WOman power in watching, in de-
tecting, in caTeSSing, in scOldiug, in be-
Iseeching, in entreating.
He told me that he was going to mar
~ her. It took my breath away.
could only say My dear fellow ~ and
clasp his hand in the most fraternaI
manner. And they were married.
And l gave away the bride, with the
pleasant vision Of happy home before
me, whatever he might encounter.
could see Bessie as often ag convenient
, and love my dear sister more than
ever. She would no more terTify me
with her sUperhuman sharpness. NJ
, more would her face, like a chimeTG
dire, peep out of my midnight oyster
| roasted in the shell. The bubbles il
? the champagne would no more expanC
! into the threatening sparkle of her eye
) | could hencefOrth sing 81 won't 90
home till morning !" and do even as
= sang.
, On the whole, l suspect that rathe
, promoted than retarded that wedding
= Indeed, more than suspect. I kHOlC
: 1t is such a good joke! My mOthe
thinks that if there is a perfect mal
Q alive it is Jones. / was his advocate
, He was my shield. Indeed, he is still
5 poor unconscious spooney! My moth