The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-06-01


privately"
An Ohio housewife is 50 extremely neat
that She scrubbed her kitchen floor until
she fell through into the cellar.
Many mean man grumblcs because Il
costs as much per day for ice for his whole
family as a single drink for himself.
After wedding. it was formerly Gus
tom to drink honey dissolved in water for
twenty days, moon age. Hence the or
igin Of honey moon.
A school master, on being asked what
was meant by the word, fertilization. !"
answered, 1.-TWO twcntyfications makes
one ratification
A Spaniard in the first pages Of his Eng
lIh grammar, desiring one cyeningat table
ID Be helped to some boiled tongue, said:
Il win thank you, miss, to pass me the
language
s.Do you understand me Rotcl' thunder
cd a country pcdagogue TO an urchin, at
whose head he threw an inkstand.
..Pyc gotan i6F-ling Of what you meal"
said the boy.
A beautiful inscription, IL Is said. may
be found in an italian graveyard. 'tIIerc
lies Etella, who transported large fortune
to Heaven, in acts Of charity, and has gone
thithcr to enjoy it."
A colorcd man at Atlanta the next NOR
ming after he was married applied to the
Judge for divorce. All the witness he
had against his wife was an iron skillet and
hole made by its three legs on the top Of
his head.
Two wcll-drcsscd shocmakers being in the
company Of some gentlemen, were asked
their profession. Says one Of them:
Il practice the heeI-ing art.
..And \" says the other, labor for the
good Of mems solesr'
Somebody. whose estimate Of women Is
sadly at fault, spitcfully says: Eve did
tot know a. much as The females of the
present age. Had they been in Ewes
place, instead Of being deceived, they
would have deceived the devil"
Host twho has just finished carving
turkcy)--" VIII you have small piece u
the dark meat, or a small piece Of The white
meatY Hungry guest (whowas aldictedto
the habit Of plainpeaking)--" Thank you,
I'll take q large piece Of JOfhi'
A Pennsylvania widowcr with four chill
drcn lately married widow with nine, aud
now he is browsing around after divorce.
lie prayed for his own offspring at family
prayers. but wouldn't PIT up petition for
hers, aud she !" went q" him with a skillet.
A Dutehman, in describing a pair Of
horses hc had lost, said: "Dcy was very
much alike, specially de of one. One
lookt 70 much alike poth could not tell
fotllcr from which when | went after ono,
| always caught dc oder and whipped de-
one most dead because de oder kicked at me.
MADAME, can you give me glass 81
grog?o said traveller in Arkansas, as he
entered a cabin on the roadside.
Il ain I got drop, stranger"
s'But a gcntIeman told me just now that
You had received barrel. 4"
"Why, good gracious! What do You
reckon one barrel Of whisky Is to me and
my children when we arc out Of milk 7"
els my facc dirty?D asked a young Ia
dy from The backwoods, while seated with
her aunt at the dinner table on steam
boat running from Cairo TO New Orleans.
"Dirtys Why did you askr' Because
that insulting waiter insists upon putting a
towel beside my plate. I've thrown three
under the table, and yet every time he
comes around he puts another ono bciorome.
A paper Is going the rounds about girl
IN Chester, w., dying from tight lacing.
An editor, commenting ON the fact, says:
"Thcse corsets should be done away with !:
and II the girls can't live without being
squeezed. we suppose mon can be found
NNho would sacrifice themselves. As old as
Ne are, we would rather devote three hours
W without eentof pay, as brewt
Nthan see these girls dying of IN that
0FIice hours almost any time. =