Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-08-03


Vile gave "hot drops'-at night an IndiaI
Next morning. feverish-bedtlme gettIn,
Out OF his head-began to rave and curse:
The Doctor sent fOr-dOuble quick he came
Ant. TuTt. gran dii0, and repeat the same
II no et cetera- Third day-nothing new;
Percussed his thorax set him cussing, too
Z Lung-fever neutrality-suspicious. OF the
Out with the lancet-Iet him blood-aouart,
Ten leeches neLt-then blisters 70 his side.
Ten grains Of ofcalomel-just then he died.
The Deacon next required the Doctors care
Took cold by sitting In a draughtof air
I Pains in the back but what the matter Is
! Not quite so clear-wife calls Il ''rheumafiz %
Ruos back with hannel-gives him some
"Ah y says the Deacon, "that goes nigh the
] spot"
Next day a rigor-run my little man,
| And say the Deacon sends for Doctor Van.
] The Doctor came-percussi0n, as before,
humping and banging TIN his ribs were
"Rightside up the fattest'-then more vigO-
rous raps.
Fever-that's certain-pleurlsy, perhaps.
a quart OF blood viii ease the pain, no
Ten leeches next will help to suck It out,
Then clap blister on the painful part
Butnrs two grains OF AntinOnfitEl Tart.
Last, with n dose OF cleansing calomel
Unload the portal system-that sounds well!
But when the self-same remedies were tried,
And all the village knew the squire had
The neIghbors hinted-"this will never do.
He's killed the Squire-he'lI kill the Deacon,
too"
Now when doctors patients are perplexed.
A o0lSlilidtiOn comes in order next
You know what that is? In certain place
Meet certain doctors to discuss case,
And other matters. such as weather, crops.
pmfnfnl1E Nnmar a
For what's the use there's little to be said,
Nine times in ten your mans as good as
dead
At best a talk (the secret to diselose)
Where three men guess and sometimes one
man knows.
The counsel summoned came without delay;
Young Doctor Green and shrewd old Doctor
Gray,
They heard the story-"Bleedr' - says Doctor
That's downright murderl cut his throat,
you mean
LeechesI the reptiles! Why, for PHYS sake,
Not try an adder or rattlesnakei
Blisters why bless you, they're against the
It's rank assault and battery II they draw!
Tartrate OF Antimony! shade Of Luke,
stomaehs turn pale at thought Of such re-
The portal systeml What's the man about?
Unload your nonsense. CalOmels played
You've been asleep-you'd better sleep away
Till some one calls you"
"Stopr' says Doctor Gray
The story is you slept FOR thirty years:
With Brother Green, ! own that Il appears
You must have slumbered most amazing
sound;
But sleep once more till thirty years come
You'll ind the lancet in its honored place,
Leeches and blisters rescued from disgrace,
Your drugs redeemed from fashions passing
ScOrn.
And counted safe to give TO babes unborn
Poor sleepy Rip, NJ. MS. SIND.
A puzzled, serious. saddened man was he:
Home from the Deacon's house he plodded
slow
And filled one bumper Of elixir Pro-
Goodbye" he faltered, Mrs. Van. my dear! I
m going TO sleep, but wake me once a year; l
/ don't like bleaching in the frost and dew
I'll take the barn, II all the same to YOU.
ust once a year-remember! nomistake! I
Cry, Rip Van Winkle, time for YOU TO wake f.
Watch for the week in May when laylocZs I.
blow,
For then the Doctors meet, and I must co. |
Just once a year the Doctors worthy dame
Goes 10 the barn and shouts her husbands /
Come, Rip Van winkle," giving him a I
shake)
'Ripi RIP Van winklel time for you to .
LaylOcks in blossom It's the month ofNfay.
rhe doctors meeting is this blessed day,
And come what Will, you know heard you
swear
You'd never miss 1t, but be always there!n
And so IL IS, as every wear comes round.
Did Rip Van Winkle here IS always found.
You'll quickly know him by his mildewed /
air,
The hayseed sprinkled through his scanty
hair,
rhe lichens growing on his rusty suit
We seen toadstool sprOuting on his boot
. Tlrn
IoadstOOlf No matter, call IL mushroom.
Where Is his seat? He moves il every YEAR
iut lock, you'll nnd hlm-he isalWays here.
Perhaps you'll track him by Whit you
know
certain flavor OF elixir Pro-"
Vow, then, ] give you-as you seem to think
Ne can drink healths without a drop TO
drink
Health to the mighty sleeper-long live he!
bur brother Rip, N. NJ. s. s, NJ. d.