Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-12-29
TIMOTHY'S TEA PARTY.

Christmas Eve, to be sure. You'll
come, won't youl Mullins and all first
rate . De-e-hghtfull sighed Timothy
ecstatically; "the incest little tea-party
/ ever had"
Dame Charmberry dropped her knit
ting and pricked up her ears but her
spouse, who had been dozing comforta-
bly, IN the great corner settle, gave only
a sound snore, and made no further re-
mark.
"Tea-party, indeed" qroth Dame
Charmberry. What's he up to nowi +"
Who's he after q That horrid smart
bar-maid at the Blue Cow I'll bet a
shillingl But I'll spoil his tea-parties
for him, I'll go bail Here, Timothy |
hoo-oo-oo, mani go to bed, and don't
he snoring there, like the raging hon
a-going about to dewour.n
And, by dint of thumps, scratches,
pinches, and pushes, supplemented by
very vigorous shaking. she aroused
the poor little man, and hunted him off
to his dormitory.
Timothy Charmberry was the small
est and shortest man in the rambling
parish of Hucklebroom, and, as such
tiny specimens do, (from some nyster-
ious influence leave to more scientific
folks to explain) had married one of
the biggest women for miles round; for
his wife was six feet high, and she
was stout In proportion. Now, much
no doubt, as Timothy had admired this
colossal stature in his bride in earlier
days, it had its disadvantages, for she
was most emphatically his better-hah,
IN every sense of the word; in fact, to
speak accurately, his three-quarters.
Poor Timothy, moreover, labored under
an affection, which practically dimin-
ished his chances of rulership, for he
was as deaf as Dame Eleanor Spearing:
Deaf to verbs and all their conpoundings,
Adjective, noun and adverb, and particle,
Deaf 10 even the definite article"
Now unfortunately, Dame Charm
berry had also a failing, an absurd one,
common, alas! to her sex-she was
most unreasonably jealons. Poor little
meek Timothy, who coufd never have
screwed up courage enough to say
"Bo." to a mouse, much less to a
goose, was far too modest to give her
any cause or reason for her disease, and
being, moreover, of a small size, was
liable to be overlooked by most of the
blooming maids and buxom WIDOWS
of Hucklebroom- Besides, Tmo.hy's
eyes were not pair, albeit both goose
berry green; and the fringe of thin
skull was more of the color of unravel-
ed string than anything else; and over
and above that, one bony shoulder was
higher than the other, and he had a
club foot. Now, the veriest old maid
In Hucklebroom could hardly have con-
jured him into an Adonis; but Dame
Charmberry doubtless imagined that
the charms which hvd caught her large
heart, might prove dangeroust to others !;
and thus, although a good, kind-heart-
ed woman in the main, she worried
both him and herself to death. On &C.
count of his deafness, she could not
curtain-lecture him, for Mrs. Caudle
herself could not have made him hear
a syllable, and though a series of signs
did tolerably well for the usual mode
of communication, they were not sufi-
cient to relieve her overcharged bosom.
Consequently her rage, diverted from
this safety-valve, fell to other modes OF
punishment She was too tender
hearted to infict personal chastise-
ment on him; and therefore, when her
rage got beyond endurance, she treated
him in an original fashion, by placing
all articles of food, his favorite dainties
especially, on such a very high shell
that he could not get them without
walking half a mile to borrow Sandy
- l. nj o1,
TO tea
On the present occasion, Mrs. Charm
berry, having heard these few mutter
ed words fall from poor Timothy,
sleeping lips, felt convinced that ht
meditated some amorous appointment
shortly, and in the secret rage of hel
heart resolved to discover the whole
So she dissembled her wrath, and tn,
next day announced her intention o
going to drink tea with her mother OF
Christmas Eve.
Eyes, my DEAR" replied Timothy
"to be sure, so you shall, and as earl,
as you like, too. It's the blessed Christ
mas time, and everybody ought to enjo.
themselves
And Timothy rubbed his skim,
hands, and winked his goggle-eye
through his great horn spectacles, Ike
an owl in daylight, and stitched ava,
faster than ever, for he was tailor
and was putting a patch on the parisl
clerk s best black indispensables agains
next Sunday, which was also Christina
Day.
Enjoy themselves, indeed" sal,
Dame Charmberry. indionantly. shak
ing her head, and poking the broom
stick at him. "Ah, you faithless wi
lain you think you will, / dar
say, you false, deceiving monster! Bu
I'll circumvent your tea-party, or m
name isn't Ruth Charmberry !"
Yes, my dear, to be sure you shall !,
replied the unconscious Timothy, con
placently, who heard and saw nothing
but went stitching ON with his face
the window, which so exasperated th
wife of his bosom that she gave tn
board such q violent shake that dow
went Timothy, thimble and all Quit
unconscious, however, of the cause {
the accident, he picked himself meekl
up, with the rest of his belongings, an
resumed his seat with all the calm of
Mohammedan, while Dame Charmber1
vented the rest of her wrath on the do,
who fled, bowling dismally.
Christmas Eve came, and after the
frugal meal, Dame CharmberTy, fir
setting her house in the strictest orde
departed, first giving last glance I
the high shelf, on which she had pl
the teapot and loaf. Timothy saw h,
to the gate, and there stood, rubbin
his hands as usual, to the ghost of
whistle, and watched her on her wa
down the long village street, past Il
butchers, past the Blue Cow" b
yond the general shop, past Sandy Say
pits, and at last vanishing in the dil
distance up Mill Lane.
"rn have holiday, too" says Tin
othy; "it's Christmas-time, and III {
on the spree! Oh, law, If Ruth on
heard me She's a dear, good sou
but awful strict She wouldn't tru
me with sixpence, I'm sure, If l ".
to ask her for fear I'd, spend it at Il
Blue Cow" but, law. shouldn
And here's the young Squire's hal
crown, ash provide for my tea-par
handsome"
And Timothy chuckled so that b
~