The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-11-10

else; or, if they do not 90 quite 50 far, they
inquire. with the air of knowing all about
it, whether he had not ordered such and
such things TO be done: and, if YOU say
no, they urge you to have their own medi-
cal man without delay, as they are sure
yours is making mistake And SO on,
till they have worried YOU into fever;
when they take their leave and bewail your
obstinacy to the next conner. ANY calami
" is a godscnd to them, for they have their
/ innings when their neighbors are so pros
trate by distress that they can buzz about
them at their will. They are sclfnatural
lzed Samaritans, physicians without diplo
mas, ministers Independent of orders or the
apostolic succession; and the unlucky ones
whom it is their pleasure to assist must
either keep them off with strong arm
which may lead to a quarrel, or yield
themselves helplessly into their active and
offciOus hands.
Old maids, they are great in the manage
mcnt ofchidren. and you may make up your
mind to much advice on the best methods
of feeding, instructing, and disciplining
your rising family if you number an Off
ciOuS spinster among your friends. They
do not often err on the side of tenderness.
being generally of decidedly Spartan
start of on a crusade of spelling and inter
fcre with You because of Your harshness
though on the other hand they will rcbuke
and even punish your little ones if they
feel called upon to testify in that form;
and they will tell YOU what they have done
quite cOmplaccntly. and think they have
deserved your gratitude. Being for the
most part people Of an overlooking energy,
without sufficient occupation, and afflicted
with untiring strength and activity, they
are up and about everywhere, prying out
all YOU wish concealed, and doing every
thing YOU want left alone. On their own
account, and unaskcd by you, they un-
dertake 10 do your business, and
nine times out of ten they do i.
wrong. If even they have your permis-
/ sion, and Won are about TO give accurate
/ directions they do not wait to hear all
YOU have to saw but 90 off half-charged,
and have fired their shot before they know
VIVA, they had to hit If intimately assO-
+ ciated with them. they reduce YOU to the
state of an imbecilc. with no will of your
/ own, no individuality, no Independent ac
tiOn-iust Il manikin, to be moved accord
+ inc To the will of your ofiicous friend, the
+ wircpuler If YOU are asked u question
/ they answer for YOU, and they make ar
engagements in which you are the principal
/ pc son concerned, to save YOU the trouble
( of deciding for yourself. If YOU are tired
they mount guard against your door, and
defend YOU from the presence of your
dearest friends whom YOU specially wish
/ To see; they buy YOU what YOU do not
want, because they thought such and such
things looked like YOU they commit
YOU To engagements YOU never dreamed of
undertaking; and seHd YOU teachers
tradespeoplc worker, Of all Kinds, with
an assurance that you are Ger
tain to employ them If they know
that YOU are invited bv common
friend they hustle over to his house. and
take il on themselves To inform him of
your peculiar habits and tastes, and you
who are shy and sensitive, and hate 10 be
/ sigular or rive trouble are made to- appear
in character of all others most distress
ing to YOU, because your otiicious friend
chose to betray your little weaknesses and
parade Your predictions rs necessities
ON II Journey or Il drive they smother
you with supcrnumcrary wraps. and 90
shivcring for their own share. lfyou have
arranged To accompany them on an expc
di,ion, they Judge unaSked as to the fitness
of the weather for YOU, and either 90 off
without you because il was not the right
Kind of Il day for you, or break up the
party on your account and in their charac
ter of watch dog guarding your interests
Ifyou decide on going, supposng the pos
sibility of decision is still left ven. they
dclugc YOU with their advice, AMI hamper
you with their help before you start Civ
ing youI cOachman private instructions as
to which way he is To 90, so that YOU shall
have this view or avoid that hill, rs they
!
being.
Indeed, as general characteristic, they
interfere not little with your servants all
round If they are women, rebuking the
maids for their feminine vaniies in dress.
and the men for their fondness for beer if
of the domestic sort, expressing them with
recipes tor furniture polish and plate now
der and rules for doing the work differ
emily from their present methods, which
serve only TO afllict their souls and Devil
der their minds, and Ia make them uncer-
tain in all they do They understand all
about everything. If they go into your
garden they nip off your first bud t.
strengthen the plant, and in their zeal for
Kidding YOU of dead leaves and seeding
flowers tear of your best blossoming
branches with them. They diminish the
number of peaches on your wall for the
sake, they say, of giving sunlight to all /;
and, if you let them into your winery with
Il pair of scissors when the grapes are form
ing, you will not have bunch fit To bring
10 the table, and their theory of thinning
Will account for il. They have always
some new doctrine about grating or train
ing your orchard and for your stable they
have private bits and shoes, saddles and
misheS, which are simply perfect, and beat
..1 :.
yourself lucky if cargo is not consigned
to you without delay, or il your groom Is
not won over to try experiments which
may cost you your best hack.
Women who are prosecuted by otliciOus
friends in society find company manners y
and the serenity demanded by their caste
difficult to compass. The ollicious male
Trend jumps up on the smallest provoca-
tlon and hovers about, insisting on doing
everything for his victim she does not
want done at all, or that she wants some
one else to do, and succeeds in making her
HE burden To her for the time being.
lie spills the wine or coffee in his struggle
To hold her glass or cup cannons against
her III his endeavor to wrest from her the
light chair she is dragging after her. with
pretty afiectatiOn of carrying burdens
that she knows becomes her; insists on
giving her a fOOtstOol which makes her
seat uncomfortable, and over which she
trips when she gets up and takes her
down to supper or her carriage before any
one else can offer, when she is PRAYING i'm
her heart for some other man half way
across The room and coming towards her
now to perform that pleasant office-some
other man To whom she has Il tender word
to say, and from whom she hopes to hear
one yet more tender I'm word he makes
himself nuisance. and spois the poor
creatures whole pleasure by his officious-
ness, when he meant only to do her n ser
vice. But this is just the way with your
ofliciols people; they always mean TO do
well, only they never manage To succeed.
-Eoery lSau,tiay