Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1870-06-01
A Brilliant and Witty Speech.


recently in the House of Representatives al
Washington, by j. Proctor Knott of Ken
tucky. The subject under consideration was
q bill to pave Pennsylvania Avenue and a
part of the expense, amounting to SlS0,OOO,
to be paid out of the U. s. Treasury. Mr..
Knott is a Democrat, as may be inferred from
some parts of his remarks; but he is one of
the most entertaining speakers in the House.
Our readers cannot fail to enjoy the capital
hits and the finished rhetoric with which the
speech abounds: ~ =
Ers rxncrb ssfu:
Sir, who, would ask, is benefited by the
location of the capital here Are your con-
stituents or mine any wiser, better, richer.
or happier than they would be if it were in
Cincinnati, St. Louis, or Chicago, or any
where else? Do they derive a solitary advan-
tage from the mere fact that the scat of
Government happens to be located here?
Under what obligation, then. can they be
3. held on account of that circumstance to pay
for this proposed pavement? On the other
- hand, / would be obliged if some gentleman
would tell me what the city of Washington
would be without the seat of Government
Suppose that this spacious and magnificent
structure, the Treasury building, the Patent
Office, the White House, the Agricultural
Department, the War Office, the Navy De-
partment, the Smithsonian Institution, the
City Hall, the public gardens, statuary,
fountains, trees, shrubbery, and a thousand
other things that the Government has placed
here to bcautify and adorn this city, without
one farthing's expense to its inhabitants
should tonight be removed by some powerful
genii, how do you imagine the place would
look in the morning? Would not you feel
like you had found " lodge in some vast
wilderness without '' the boundless con-
tiguity of shade ?'' Laughter.
Sir, let this city, which some seem to re-
gard as the pride of the Republic. if not the
glory of the entire universe, be stripped of the
advantages it derives from the mere fact that
the seat of government is located here ; from
Congress- with the countless hosts of hungry
lobbyists who crowd the corridors of this
Capitol from the Departments, with their
endless retinue of employees, retainers, super
numeraries, ofhce-seekers, and ofhce-brokers !;
let all the paraphernalia of the Government
be torn from it, and in ten years Pennsylvania
avenue will be Overrun with broom sedge.
the fox will make his den in the tangled
thickets of Lafayette park, and the owl
hoot at MONDAY amid the crumbing corridors
of Wizards Hotel and the Metropolitan.
IGreat laughter. While as it is, sir, the
location of the capital here is source of
direct revenue to every inhabitant of the
place, from the proprietOrs of the Arlington
House, whose retinue of liveried funkies
ministers to the luxurious tastes of the ex-
quisite-s barite, down to the bootblack who
waylays the unsus specting foOt-passenger up
on every corner of the streets. Laughter.
/ will say nothing of the splendid public
-SdirA - which although erected for its own
accommodation, reflect an immensely en-
HANGED value upon the property of the private
citizen, but simply call attention to the mil
lions it has expended in beautifying and
adOrning the public reservations, which it
purchased and paid for to the original pro-
prietors of the coil, thus rendering this one
of the most attractive cities on the continent
to the stranger, while to the resident it has
become one of the most delightful abodes
If any gentleman entertains doubt upon
this point let him walk through Lafayette
Square. Let him swing around the circle
south of the presidential palace, or stand on
the splendid esplanade in front of the Agri-
cultural Department. Let him snuff the
fragrant air that hangs over the public gar
dens. Let him look at the broad promenades,
paved with immense flags of polished sand
stone, the wide and commodious drives,
sweeping round up an easy and graceful
radius with the true line of beauty. Let
him tread the sinuous foot paths, laid with
an elastic concrete of white sea sand, bor-
dered with shrubbery, that would have lent
new charms to Calypso's fovorite bower, and
winding away in all the intricate mazes of
the Cretan labyrinth.
Let him do this, and he will find that the
Government has taken care so far as it is
concerned that no stain shall pollute the
satin slipper of the favored beauty as she
glides along in sylph-like loveliness that no
speck of dust shall settle upon the costly
laces of her gorgeous robe as she reclines in
ecstatic languor upon the downy cushions of
her splendid carriage; that even the per-
fumed zephyr, he steals from beds of rare
exotics, shall not kiss her velvet check too
rudely, nor the dancing sunbeam taste the
delicious fragrance that exhales from her
hoDeyed lips, [applause !; while the toll
Drowned, barefooted daughter of the honest,
hard-working, tax paying farmer or mechanic
in Indiana or Kentucky, in her home-spun
gown, innocent of crinoline or train, must
"SkeIpit through dub and mire.
Unmindin wind and rain and fire."
[Great laughter.
Understand me, SIR l am finding no fault
with the people of Washington about any OF
these things entertain none but the kind
est feelings in the world toward them, and
rejoice to know that they are so fortunate as
to have the privileges OF enjoying the fruits
of the Governments munifcence in improv-
ing " the nations capital" But do hope
sir-t1asies hesS afasfdW Wsersh aii1hfed
supplied all their houses with water, after
we shall have contributed in every possible
way to their comfort, convenience, and
taste, they will not insist our making an
appropriation to pay salaries to the little
cast-iron niggers which | see some gentlemen
have put up in front of their houses to hitch
their horses to. Great laughter
But, Mr.. Chairman, L have heard one rea-
son very frequently urged for the passage of
this bill which candor compels me to admit
almost convinced me that we ought not only
to appropriate this sum of $3.50, 900, but any
other amount that might be necessary to re-
pave Pennsylvania avenue at the very earliest
possible period of time and that is, that it
is so much used by the horde of Office holders
that throng the thoroughfares of this city,
In numbers almost equal to the hosts which
were hurled with Lucifer from the battle
ments of heaven. Laughter and applause
For, sir, If there is being on this earth for
whose comfort and convenience entertain
the profoundest solicitude, if there is one
whose smallest want stirs my sympathetic
soul to its serencst depths, it is your Office
holder, your public functionary. Laughter
When 1 see one of that " noble army of mar
tyrs " bidding adieu to his home and all the
sweets of private life, for which he is so
eminently fitted by nature, to immediate him.
self upon the altar of his country's service
for four long years. Homer's touching pic
ture of the last sad scene between the noble
Hector and his weeping family rises before
my sympathetic imagination. Great laugh
ter. When | see him plunging recklessly
into an Office of the duties of which he is
profoundly and de6antly ignorant | am re-
minded OF the self-sacrifcing heroism of Cur
tbs when be leaped into the yawning gulf
which opened in the Roman forum. When
behold him sadly contemplating his majes-
tic features in one of those gorgeous and
costly mirrors which il furnished him at the