Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-08-24

A poor country doctor was once
called from his bed on q stormy night,
withthe startling summons, doctor,
/ want you to come right straight
away OF to Banks. His child is
dead.n "Then why do you come 2'
"a He's poisoned. They've given him
llaud'num for paragOrfc.n How
much have they given him ~ DO
/ nc. A great deal. Think he won't
| get over it.u The doctor pushes off
1 LhSoHghthe storm; meets with divers
| mishaps on the way, and at length
arrives at the house OF his poisoned
pRtienE and finds all closed. He
knocks sc the door; but no answer.
He knocks furiOusly, and at last a
nightcap=appeaHs from q chamber
window, andaWOman's voice squeaks
out. Who is there Pr THE doctor,
! to be sure YOU sent for me. What is
/ the matter? r aOh, it's no matter,
doctor. Ephraim is better. We got q
little frightened, that's alL.n How
much Iaudunum did he swallow ?'
a Only two drops. 'Taint hurt him
] at allii The doctor turned away,
] buttdning Hp his oYercoat under his
! throat and tries to whistle away his
modification and anger, when q voice
calls, doctor! doctor ~ We'll,
what do Won want 30 You won't
charge nothing for this visit, will
your
What the Ettrick shepherd said TO
his dog Hector is now going the
rounds: s4tis q guide sign Of a dowg,
I sir.p saws Hogg, when his face grows
like his masters Hector got sac like
me afore he deed, that 1 remember,
when was ewre lazy TO gang TO the
kirk. used to send him to take my
place in the pew, and the minister
never kent the difference. Indeed,
he once asked me neist day what 1
thooht o. thesermOn, for he saw me
go attentive among q rather sleepy
Congregation. Hector and me g1ed
one anitheF sic a look thatI was fear
ed Mr.. Patton would hae observed it
but he was q simple, primitive, I'M
suspeetinh autd mana very Nathan
ieI without gife, and jeafoused naeth-
ing though both Hector aud me
was like to split and the dowg, after
lsachini in his sleeve for mAir nor a
hundred yard, could stan'tn nae longer,
but was obliged to lOup ava owre a
hedge int0a potawtO field, pretending
he scented game
A traveller, fatigued with the mo-
notony of q long ride through a
sparsely settled region Of the country,
rode up to a boy who was engaged in
trimming and dressing out siekly
looking field Of corn, and relieved the
oppression Of his spirits thus:
any young man, it seems TO me
your corn is rather small.'
Yes daddy planted the small
kind.u
"Ah, but It appears rather yellow
too"
%Yes, daddy planted the yellow
kind"
sFrom appearances, my lad, you
won't get more than half a CROP"
Just halt, stranger, daddy planted
&c on halves"
The horseman proceeded on his
way, and has not been known TO
speak to q boy since.
Professionalism appears to be spread
ing fspldlyin Spain. Mr.. Lawrence
/ writes from Barcelona that Thousands
Of copies Of the Gospels have been
sold there. In Figueras, two priests
purchased 8 parcel Of Bibles and Tes-
taments, and piled them up in the
public square, poured q bottle Of spir-
It's Of tuFpentiue over them and set
them onIfire. A hystander rushed up
and kicked the books apart and res
eued some Of them. One Of them, a
partially burned Bible, is preserved
as a memorial. Upward Of athousand
copies were sold afterward in the
place
A country parsOn was invited to
tea among some OF his neighbons.-
During the ceremony two of the hope
fuls got into a wrangle, which the
fond mother found necessary to sup
press; when Sam. an interesting
youth OF Il, in spite Of his mothers
winks and sly chances, cried vehe-
mently : "0h, yesI Josh ean COB In,
and COB out, COB after COB; bat If 1
tech the leestest morsel, there's the
damdest kickin of shins.n The par
son slOped with 8 new subject for his
text.
An Inter State Fair has been loca-
ted at Pittsburgh, Pa, at Iron City
Park, commencing September 18th,
1870, and continuing five days. While
it is especially intended for Western
Pennsylvania, Western New York,
Eastern and Southern Ohio. and West
Virginia, and assumes a wider range
than the ordinary State fairs, compe-
titiOn is invited and expected from all
sources.
James Fisk, Jr., has prohibited the
sale OF the New York Tribune on the
Erie Railway, Of any Of the steamers
OF the Narragansett Steamship Com
nm hat innrnal having nhandad |