The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-04-20
GheGftelIf9streer:
The Story Of the Good Little Roy
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MARK TWAIN IN THE OAGAXY,

name ~ dNCOD OINCIS' 4lC H""SS
Obcyctl his parents, no matter how absurd
aMd unreasonable their demands were;
and he always learned his book, md never
was late nj Sabbath school. lie would
not play hockey, even when his sober
Judgment told him IL was the most prOIita-
Die Thing he could do. Nome Of up0tllcr
Flows c0lIllE ever mako that boy out, he
,Lctel 10 strangely. u wouldn't Elio, no
matter how convenient 1t was He just
said II was wrong to lie, and that was
sufficient for him. And he was so honest
that he was simply ridiculous The
curious ways that Jacob had surpassed
everything. lie wouldn't play marbles
on Sunday, hC wouldn't rob birds nests,
he wouldn't give hot pennies 10 organ.
grinders monkeys; hG didn'tsCcm 0takc
Nny interest in any kind OF rational Amllsc-
mGnt, So the other boys used to try TO
reason it out ind come TO Nh understand
ing of him, but they couldn't arrive at my
satisfactory conclusion; us sNid before,
they could only figure out u sort Of vague
idea that he was "aillictcd," und so they
took him under their protection, and
never allowed any harm TO come to him.
This good little boy read all the Sunday
school hnOks; they were his greatest de-
light. This was the whole secret oft lie
believed in the good littleg boys they put
lin.tlc SnndRyjschoOl boOlis; he had,evcry
iisthein. HG l0ngc(ls to come
across one of them alive, once; but he never
did. They all died before his time, may
be. Whenever lIG read about u lhlrtiCu.
larly good one, he turned over quickly TO
tic end to see what became Of him, be.
causC he wanted 10 trIvcl thousands Of
miles and gazG OH him; but 1t wasn't my
use; TINT good little boy always died in
the lust chapter, and there was a picture
Of the funeral, with all his relations and
the Sunday school children standing
around the grave in pantalOOns that were
too short, and bOnnGts that were too large,
and everybody crying into lMndkercliets
that hal us much rs II yard and hall OF
stutI in them. lie was always healed OIL
In this way. lie never could sec one OF
those good little boys, on account OF his
always dying in the lust chapter.
jacob had anoblc aulbitionsto pc putin
n SHndsy.sclo0l hook. lie wanted TO be
put in, with pictures representing him
ElOriously tCcling TO lie To his mother, and
! she weeping for Joy about 1t; and pictures
representing him standing on the doorstep
giving n penny to II poor beggar-wOman
with six children, and telling her to spend
| It freely, hut not to be GXtrlvagaMl, he.
cause extravaganza is sin; and pictures
of him lnagnNnilnOrlsly refusing to tell on
the Ind hoy who always lay In wait for
him around the corner, us he came from
school, and wCltCd him over the head with
latll, and then chased him home, sAying
ali! hir' rs lcprOCCCdcd. That was the
ambition Of young Jacob BIivcns. lie
wished to he put in Sunday.scllOOl book.
1t made him feel u little uncomfortable
sOmeumesNvhen llo rClleCtcdtllat the goOtl
little bOys always died! lie loved To live,
YOU know, and this wG,the most rnplcas
int feature about being Il Sunday school
book boy. lie knew il was not healthy to
bU good lie knew TWAS more fatal than
consumption To be 50 slpGrnalurllly gNd
as the bows III the books were; he knew
Tint nous Of tlIcm hul ever been able. "
stand it LONG, anil 81 gained lin " think
that if tliGy pnt HMM book lie w0uldnt,
ever SEC It, or even il they did gctthc hook
ont before he died, il wouldn't be popular
without any picture u his funeral in the
buck part OF H., u,COuldn't be much Of u
I.SundayschOoli booH tlat couldn't tell
about The advice he give /" the commune.
IT, whrnfllC was dying. So, nj lust, OF
course he had TO make NJ ms mind To do
the best he could under the circumstances
Ito live right, and hung on is long us he
could and llavelIis dying speechalLrcady
when his time came =,
But somehow, nothing ever went right
with this good little boy; nothing ever
turned Out with him tho way Il turned out
with the good little boys in the hooks.
They always hNd II good time, and the had
BOYS hatl the broken legs; hut IN his cilSc
there was IL screw loose somewhere, and il
all happened just the other way! When
he found Jim Blake stealing apples, and
went under the tree to rend 10 him about
the bad little hoy who fell ont Of II neigh
boris apple tree and broke his arm, Jim
fell out Of the tree too, but lie fell IN him,
and broke h%arm, and Jim wasn't hurt nj
MI. Jacob couldn't understand tli4t.
There wasn't anything in the hooks like II.
And once, when some bad boys pushed
blind man over III ule nluu, anu J9C"D
ran 10 help him mp and receive his bless
Ing, the blind man did not give him any
blessing Mt Ill, hut 'whaCkCd him over the
head with Lis, stick AMI said hc would
like to catch linn showing him again and
then pretending to lrlp him up This
was hot N accordance with any OF the
books. Jacob looked them all over LOscc.
One thing that Jacob wanted Lol Ito was
To find hmc dog TINT hadn't any pIacc
IL stay, and was hungry and prosecuted,
and bring him home and pct him and
have TINT dogs impcrishNble gratitude.
And ut lust lS found one, and was happy;
and In hrOrphi him home nnl fed him,