The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1870-11-02
The Protestant Cow

The Protestant Cow. Y
Paddy Murphy and his vile Bridget,
at'et m'ny years Of hard labor in Si,ch.
ing aad washing,.. had accumulated suf.
liclrncy to purchase COW, (uf course
they had piss,) which thoy did at tho
first opportunity. AS it was bought of
il Pfo'e tanL nciShbor, Pat stopped on
his way hcme at the honsc of tho priest
to procure bo,t!e ofholy water with
which to exercise the false faith out
Of her
"lsn't she foinc creature p asked Pat
OF the admir'ng Bdgdet "Just hold
her till fix tie she'd"
10 save the precious fluid from harm
he took IL into the house and set it up
IN cupboard until he hal fixed things.
Then hcrciurned and brought the bottle
back, and while Bridget was holding
lhc rope, proceeded to pour it upon her
back
But poor Pat had made slight ms.
take. Standing within the same closet
was " bottle of ogua/ortis, that had
been procured for different purpose,
and, as It dropped upon the back Of the
poor COW, and the hair began to smoke
aud the flesh to burn, she exhibited
decided appearance rcsllosssncss
Pour on more. Paddy" shou I'd
Bridget, as she tugged smarlly at the
rope.
"lll give her enough" quoth Pat
and he cmp'lcd the bottle.
u p went the heels Of the COW. down
went her head, over went Bridget and
and half doz"n ''childcrs," and awav
dashed the iniuriated bovine down the
street, to The terror Of all mothers and
the delight Of the dogs.
Poor Pat stood for a moment, breath
less with aslonlshmcnt, and then clap
ping his hands upon hia hips looked
sorrowlul'y after the rctrcatlng COW and
exclaimed
"Bc j'hb"rS. Bridget, hut isn't The
Protestant strong III her the baste p
PAY THAT DEBT is small one
to he sure, and apparently not worthy
Of s'rions thought. Why then no,
payit? I? Why be compelled to sntlrr he
morIlica'Ion Of n dun2 WAY not
lax" that little thorn out Of yonr Gnser
at once? IL will tester i allowed to
remain, aud cause ten times Tie trouble.
why not relieve the conscience of that
load I You contracted the debt know :
ing'y anl willingly. Did yon mean t,
pay it? Certainly You did. Then
why moi pay IT NJ once ? Every day
delay increases moraly the amount Of
obligation. Remember too that vnnr
little hrbt, and ano;rr mans lillle dcbt
and a thousand other mems debts, m IKE
little. fortune for vonr creditor, for they
enable him to pay his larger d,brs. or
feed h's workman and keep his machines
agoing III times like ,hcS,.. DON'T YOU
see how it is ? You dp? Well, then
remit the amoun, YOU are due the
News and Herald O'Ecn at once, that
the ghosi of that debt may not haunt
you in dreams
kNoTTY.-A short time since n Mr.
Knot was tried in an interior county
Of Georgia for n viol:,ion Of law.
The verdict Of the jury was: "We
Ind the defendant Knot guilty" The
Judge was alta loss whether TO sem
tencr Knot or Knot to sentence. H..
took time to consider. -LynchJu,y VW.
g'n'an.
This reminds rs, says the New Com
mon.wralth. of tho celebrated duel
between DR.. Shot and Col. Knot, in
which Shot shot not, and Kuott sho'
Shot; or in other words Sholt was
shot and Knott was not. No, we are
wrong Knott shot not, and Shot shot
Knot, yet Knott was shot and Shot
was not. .
| lND1AN.lluNTlNG The u. s. gov
rrnmcnt is about to 90 upon nn Indian
hunt o! a very novel character. The
hunt is not 10 DC upon the Western
I'ams tor purposes Of slaughter, but
through the ancient haunrs Of Man.
ton'mah, Of Phillip and Of Canonchet,
in New England, for purposes Of DC.
ncvolcncr. There are few remnants
OF tribes still scattered through that
country, and it is understood that the
government will have them hunted up
and take care Of them. Nobody viii
be more surprised at such an net OF
justice to the Indians OH the part Of tho
government than the Indians themselves
who have little reason, indeed, TO sup.
pose that the white man knows what
justice is.
| . . g.
AN ARKANSAS LOCAL" An Ar
kansas local" becoming lncensed a,
some remarks ofa brother qnill-drivcl
IN the same town concerning his per.
sonal appearance, launches tho following
tnb.foll Of Arkansan editorial lightning
at his contrerc's head
"rhe volcanic, pimple headed blister.
| IRA inr1 nwl f,r,I sn,l.,.l ,,o.o ...o11