Vicksburg weekly herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1868-1883, 1870-10-22
FAOErIAE
Bad Taste--Assafetida.

-N~~- @N~~~N
The Cricketer's chief study-The
bat. pa
A cOunter-attractioR hand.
some shopman.
A bug that flourlshes all the year
rOund-Humbug,
A delicious flower Of speech
The heliO-trope.
A wonderful Aerial phenome-
mona flight Of stairs.
The most Difficult thing To- Re.
member-The poor.
Noah's Ark is the first piece of
architecture mentioned.
Advice to flsh.eaters-Deal gen.
tly with tho herring.
The. way to treat a man of doubt.
full credit is to take no note of him.
An "early.Closing movement
The morning-glories about seven
o'clock.
A Backward spring" Is produced
by presenting red-hot poker to q
man's'hOse.
Laziness is q good deal like mon
ey, the more q man has of II, the
more he wants.
The noise in a drum ought to be
very easily explained, because the
smallest drummer boy can make it
out.
To prevent beer going sour-in.
troduce two cabmen into your eel.
lar and give them the key of the
cask.
A lady in Syracuse is said to rest
her head on agrammar while sleep.
ing, in order that she may dream
correctly.
A man may be ever so poor, he
may be ever so unfortunate, but he
need never be hard up for candles,
so long as he makes light of his suf.
fering.
A matchmaker has a watch to
repair that (according to It's owners
statemen) frequently stops while
1t is going, and sometimes loses an
hour in twenty minutes.
One Of the miseries oflife is 10 be
beaten in an argument, and immc.
diatoly afterward to think of some
expression which would have total.
ly annihilated your opponent.
A contemporary asks, "IIow Is II
that the mouth OF rivers are larger
than their heads ~ Nothing out OF
the way in that; we know Of per.
sons in the same fix.
A wise physician once said: 81
observe that every one wishes 10 &C
to heaven but | observe, also, thai
most people are willing to take 9
great deal of disagreeable medicine
first"
Lovers of tobacco are now desig
mated "Tobaccophagoi," and t6t
Qualification of their taste is thii
respect, which ignorant people cal
"Chawin'" or "smokin,'" is hence
forth to be known as "Tobaccopha
gonism,'
A gipsy woman promised I,
show Two young ladies their hus
bands faces in pail of water. The,
looked, and exclaimed, "Why, WI
only see our faces ~ "Well," saiC
the gypsy, "thosc faces will be YOU
husbands when you are married."
A new minister at New Bedford
took a stroll before breakfast on tho
first Sunday he was Vere, and afteI
walking a dozen blocks he was &C
costed by shabby-looking individ
ual with: "YOu needn't look any
further; there isn't any salooi
open."
A poor fellow was brought be
fore one of the police justices re
Gently charged with being intoxica
ted, "Well, why did you &C
drunk "See here" was the reply
uttered in a hiccough and accent O
a drunken man ;"what did you Civ,
license for"
"Can'tyou manage to give my
son one of the prizes at the exhibi
ton 2" asked a mother ofa teacher
"No, madam" was the reply
your son will stand no chance
he obstinately persists in idleness.
"Oh, but them" exclaimed the fon(
mamma, "if that's so, you can givt
him a prize for perseverance y
A hog entered a grocery store il
Brunswick, Mo-, recently, when {
knowing dog attacked him, bit of
his tail, then seized the hog by tn,
ear, and led it shreaking back to III
quarters in the rear, The dog thel
returned to the store, picked up thl
tail, and carried it out TO the pig.
---7-zl= -==