The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-04-30
CHTT CHAT ON TIE FASHIONS.
AZ SEEN THROUGH AUNT RHoDA's RRrA.
H.T.- CLES

AZ SEEN THROUGH AUNT 1IHODA'S S'EA'rA'
CHS.
NJ. LatakH0AetF: E a- H
DRAR stRs-Tm 4 Ions widder-but /
amt q moor un-and I'm on a visit TO MY
darter Jerushy. Shes q highhyer and I
amt. I'm Orlul lonely and yer an old &C
ouaintanCe, so I'm goin 10 write you few
lines to ease my akin heart, as the song
says. My trials Is mostly In the line Nv
fhShiOn. My darter Jerlshy Is my onllest
child and alters he'd her own way At hum,
and now she's married she's twiCt us bad.
used to think I'd spilled her, but sence
I've cum to town sec its all the fashion
70 snub tho old folks I'd set in the house
iii nv legs II will say legs when Jerushy
ait't ruundD aked, and ! sed, "Jcrlshy,
I'm VoIn out fur walk" Sea she mo
yer amt unless you wear the
new bonnet got for you" Sea
I "Jer1IsGy. nevefFF" Sea she, "AIam.
ma, would you ruinme" SEE 4, mo, my
Onliest, and as my Wills madCin yer favor
don't see any danger oy Il" :! speak
not Of filthy luCre," seq she, spreading her
hands open at me, then putin them
together ut tho finger ends and shutting
her eyes. "But Of the opinion Of my
friends" "Who are thcyT' seq l. First
there Is Mr.. Pcrcival Augustus Fritz"
La sakcs, Jcrushy, that slim teller that
came home with Jake, whose CLOTHES lifted
like the bark on birch swilclS" My
husbands friends are mine" SEE she, "and
Mamma, please remember that my hus,
bands name Is Marmaduke, or Duke, Il
YOU must shorten 1t, Jukc." "Indeed,
why not call him Lakeland be done with
it?" "Well," SEE |, "whose the rest"
Mrs, AIaier Gineral." claw sakes," seq
!, IA woman q NIaicr Gineral! Where did
she get her stfipess" Mamma, my
nerves" sea she, Iayin back as If she was
going TO faint. Sea /, "Jerushy, IT, you do
faint I'll louse hull pitcher Ov water on
YER" With that she mufiled her
face in q handkerchief and l bounced out
Of the room. I've no pashunce with her
nerves, and grammar, and fashins. SO l
nut on my cap with the deepest border
md stifest crown and my black poke
bonnet, my rectycule and umbrella,
and started for little exercise. My sym.
pathics always was overfiowin, but ! find
that they are out Of faShin too. III tell
YOU about how discovered It. 1wasgoin
along maxim the most Of my eyes and
specticles. seed a women with hair as
white us mine hangin down her back
and patch Of velvit on top other head to
hiver the soft place expect. She was
swinging along as grand as could be, and
thinks i, she don't know her hair Is down.
So | .rotted up to her and seq l, eyer
hairs all down yer back. Come In this
store and I'll lend you my comb and some
hair.pins." But Ia! she jist drew her
self up and look as II she was troze,
or wanted to freeze me. thought she
felt bad about her hair, 50 SCI l Its oil
tho fault Of yer bQnnit If It he'd back
part like mine, yer hair would neve staid
up CT the pins did lose" She give one
look ut my bonnit ard screamed; then
she drew her self up till she was rs long
md no thickOr than clothes prop. she
shet her teeth tight and kinder Kissed out
"SeuUa, mind ger OloE1 btlsinessY Sea ],
"Yesem, same to you" before ! knew
what to say l was taken back so. When
next observed any thing, seed a gal
with hump on her back, and she almost
doubled up every step she took My hu.
manity got over its back set and piticd
the poor thing. There was lots Of folks
lOOkin' at her, but no one offered to help
her home. So jist run into a candy
store and bought some strong PEPPERMINT
drops and run after the gal. l catched
up 10 her purity soon, for she trOtted along
20 feebly. ! list offered her my arm and
handful Of drops Sez !, "p0Or soul,
list take my urn and cat this PEPPERMINT !;
It's powerful good for II pain in the STUN.
ick." She looked at me us II were q
manyack, and SCI she, MADAM" SEE /,
am stranger, but I'm hOnest,-tNkc holt
Of my ann md we'll gOjin store and
shake yer hoops down; they've worked
all up TO yer whist in the back, and you're
feclin so bad yer didn't nOtiz it." Jest
then some one grabbed inc by the arm
and landed mo in the gutter. when !
got over seeing shooting stars Of all COl0rS,
and the air got kinder clear, looked up,
and here was Mr.. Pcrcival Augustus
Fritz. He'd stretched hisself up till he
looked like u bean pole with pumpkin
on top, and scz he, "Wrctchw See !,
"BCan lOlcw SEE he, allow dare ycrE
SEE l, "lve seen careCrows aforG mud
aint afeared." Jest then n Teller with Il
star on his blue coat came up, and l told
him all about it. Hc scattered the crowd
which was hanging round, and started
for home but with tho tluster md excite
ment | forgot where l come from or
where l was gOin. AFTER u while |
come to my senses md found my
way back, When | rot there. who
was in the parlor but the three
objects of my compassion and in
dignatiOn! When they seen me they all
riz rite up and saidAll at onCet "Scum !
Wretch VixinF' Jcrushy turned white
as her paint would let her, and scz she,
"AEothcr! MOthcr!" They all screamed
and turning their eyes up to the ceiling
they stitFcGcd up their backs anil walked
out, leavin the door open. "YOu'vc ruined
me-" screamed Jertlshy. "Why, who are
thcy?" SCI l. "NGr. Fritz, Miss Gay and
Mrs. Maler Gineral." "Who cares SCI
l, "for an old woman pcradin the streets
with her white hair hanging and patch
Of red velvit on top Of her son cope, or n
gal with n pain in her stumiCk 7" Twas
the Grccian bend, mother" "Then Iqlopc
she won't get over It, never" said |, and |
vowed I'd let people die aEOrc I'd speak to
'em before I'd see u doctor sit on their
case. Yours in much triOulatlon,
'n' AUNT RHoDA.
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