The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-06-12
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.

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WE AID WINDOW.
Household words Papa, mamma.
A thorough washerwoman--Sal Soda.
!. /. A good name for . Scotch policeman
Aaenah.s ~ -
To cure deafnesslTcll . man you've
come to pay him money
An Illinois girl who lately lost her speech
has had forty Offers Of marriage.
The man who was looking for station in
life has found one-the police station.
How long can . goose stand on one foot Z
Try it-that's the way the goose found out.
Why ,is the root Of the tongue like a de-
jected mani Because it is down in the
The best sense, particularly for people
whqskavep't remarkable stock Of brains,
ID redcence.
II you have a scolding wife, trust to
tame; cid age may bring you the blessing
or deafness. t.fa syssi-n
It is said that the springtime makes the
skylark soar. This must be painful to the
poor skylark.
Four boxes govern the world-the car
tridge-box, the ballot box, the jury-box,
+. and the bandbox.
An ill-bred man is said to be like light
ming, because he does not know how to
conduct himself.
;WhX.;is it impossible for man to boil
his father thoroughly Because he can
only be par-boiled.
There 10 man in town who keeps list
-0f all the banks in the country, 30 as to be
-able to keep bank account.
Am observing correspondent thinks it
would be good idea to have eclipses more
irequently--it causes SO many eyes to turn
heavenward.
A sharp young lady says there is nothing
more touching in this life than to see poor
but virtu0us young man struggling with a
weak moustache.
az will preach from dat portion OBJ de
Scripture dis ebenin'," said colored par
son, nwhar de 'Postle Paul pints his 'pistle
at de iPhesians." = :. :
"Anyding pite you dare Z" inquired a
z Butchman of his neighbor, while angling.
sc No, nothing at ALL" !" Vell," he returned,
. @enoding Pite me too"
A lazy fellow once declared that he could
not find bread for his family. "Nor l."
replied an industrious mechanic; 81 am
Obliged to work for it."
cit is q curious fact" says some ento<
mologist, that it is the female mosquito
that tOrments u.s." An old bachelor says
that it is not at all curious.
A little Connecticut boy, asking COM
pani0n who Good Friday was, received the
-w4thering reply, "Well, you go home and
read yonr Robinson Crusoe."
There is q man in Germantown who has
a horse which is so fast that, if you stop
him suddenly while he is at full speed, it
turns his hair all the wrong way.
81 am afraid, dear wife, that when am
agOne, ebsence will conquer love-" ooh,
never fear, husband the longer you stay
away the better shall like YOU"
A country paper says there is q grave
yard in the neighborhood where may be
seen the impressive picture Of Q man sieep- |
ing pescefnhy BY tho side of his six wives.
A boys idea Of having tooth drawn
toz hitched fast ON me, pulled his best, and |
just before 1t killed me the tooth came out.n |
The last case of incidence is that of a |
man named John Hole, who was so lazy |
that, In writing his name, he simply used |
the letter ~ and then punched hole in |
the paper.
Some people arc never contented. After
having all their limbs broken, their heads
smashed, and their brains knocked out,
they will actually 60 to law, and try to get |
further damages.
An orator, holding forth in favor of
woman, dear, divine woman" concluded
thus: Oh, my hearers, depend upon it
nothing beats good wife," g. beg your
pardon" replied one of his auditors, ga
bad husband does"
A story is told of two men who Travelled
together three days ina stage-coach with
ont o word ever passing between them. On
Ehe fourth day one of them at length ven-
tured to remark that it was u fine morning.
'fAnd( who said it weren't ~ was the reply.
con, that mine enemy had written
book said Job. II" What do you suppose
job wanted fis enemy to write q book 2"
apupil was said 70 have asked her teacher,
who had something of q literary turn.
g Why, my dear, Job wanted to review it,
Of course, and cut it up"
An unhoppy father writes to Louisville
paper: T" am miserable man. My only /
SON is not quite eight years of age, and yet
he not only swears and chews tobacco, but
he persists in parting his hair in the mid
die, and in declaring that his mother has
better right to the ballot than have. Tell
me, for heavens sake, what shall do with I
him fn 4
A lady complimented Frederick the
Great,so extravagantly that he was rather :!
= scA ,nl q A. & L..