The Hawaiian gazette., 1870-11-09
The special Telegram Humbug.

P1HcAiasLO gives the following account Of thu
battle of Sedan, which it has received by cable from
ats special correspondent" The account is quit,
as Trustworthy some others which have beer
foisted upon the public;
1t was still, calm night, the glorious moon was
sailing through the sky; the running
water; the clouds were cloudy; he soldiers were
soldering. stepped out Of my tent and stumbled
over Won Moltke He took my arm and invited me
to the tent of the Crown Prince.
Molly" said l, I" what's your little game W
"Penny ante, replied he.
81 Tres 5ien,' added l.
"You are French spy. Ha ha ~ said he, grasp
ing my collar ''Hol hop
Dat ISL goot" added L
"Theu you're Dutch" sighed he, dropping me
like pair of hot tongs. r-a
In the tent we found the King. the Crown Prince,
Gen. Steinmetz, Gen, Sheridan, and Gen Forsyth.
Molly" said /, Introduce me 10 the King"
"Bnn said he, this is Jenkins.n
Bill held out his foot and took suck at his
great toe
Then went at the game Bill is pretty good at
it, but then he doesnt stand any chance beside Mol
ty The Crown Prince lost at least foucteen cents,
and, just be had splendid opportunity to re-
trieve his losses, in.came an aide who announced
that the French had squatted.
Where? ?" cried Won Moltke.
"At Sedan" replied the aide.
81 knew it" said Molly Bill, told you they
had no horses for a regular carriage"
Then We went out. The King invited me to sit
in his carriage with Molly and Sheridan We reach
ed the scene of war.
The moon shone; the mountains were mountain
Gus; the trees were treey, and the soft September
breeze was breezy Bismarck came up and asked
the King to let him cut behind.
BIS" said l. take my seat; I'll take trip to
the French camp"
So l tripped over TO the French camp, and found
things somewhat mixed. The moon shone. Stead
lily the Prussan troops advanced and with hero
ism worthy of better cause, the French retreated.
The Emperor wanted to die in the rear of his men.
Nap" said l, you'd better get up and get the
Prussians are coming"
Jenkins" said he kiss me for my mother, I'm
betrayed"
"Why didn't you have more cheesepots ?' said l.
"rIl surrender" said be, "get out white flag"
So l took one Of Eugenie's old pocket-ban
chiefs which found in the tent, stuck it the end
Of the sabre Of the nephew of his uncle put Nap in
the carriage, jumped in myself, and drove to the
Prussian camp. The moon shone; all nature smil-
ed; the rivers rivery; the Sedans chairy.
Nap said Bill, sis the game up?"
"Bin," said Nap, you've scored the game. Il
leave my old clothes to the Regent l hope she'll
like the breeehes."
Then he treated TO cigarettes, and we all went
back to game Of penny ante Nap wouldn't
join us. He said he'd just been playing a game
with crowns ante and he was busted We'd hardly
got the cards dealt when Bill turned to Bis and ask
ed, 81 say, BIS, won't you Overland telegraph to
the old woman something about our Fritz?"
LET Jenkins CO. said Bis
OF course l assented TO the proposition.
Where the devil is FntzT' said Bill.
"oh he's been sleeping for the last two hours"
said Motke.
"Never mind" said Bill, telegraph victory by
Fritz"
So 1 telegraphed "a great victory has been
won by our Fritz. What great things have we done
for ourselvesi Wen keep it up old woman.
(Signed) BILL"
When | reached the tent everybody was asleep.
Nap reclining gracefully the breast of Bis
marck, affectonately If they were brothers-in
law. The moon sbone; the sky was skyey; the
hills billy; and all nature was getting up.
Anybody who Gays the above did not come over
the cable lies, wiccdly nalicously lies, with intent
to deceive. As soon as Jack Smiths smack sails,
I'll send you piSce of the cable it came over.