Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1870-01-01
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


. and bite like steel trap, and hang on like
> poor relation. .gF ss~F sET
, They are good eating for wet day
they are better than an umbreller to keep
a man dry.
Dried Goldfish il one of the luxurys of
life, but Goldfish three times day would
weaken my confidence in them.
I Goldfish never venture in fresh water;
they would Spite if they did.
/ never have been codtishing miself,
but think l should like it better than fish
ing for frogs.
think could catch frogs well enuff,
but should insist upon their taking them
sells off from the hook.
had rather take boss bumble-hee in
mi hand than live frog. not bekause
am afraid the frog would bite but am
afraid Nv their kicking. -. .l.s-.
Sum people amt afraid to take ennything
with their hands, that they kan reach, not
leven an eel, but iii should ever git caught
| by an eel, if couldn't settle with him.
right of, by giving him the hook and line,
| would throw the pole into the bargain
and put for home.
The Goldfish liz sed tew be an aristokrat,
and to keep aloof from the other Ash OF hiz
size in the sea, and claims tew be "a rela-
ton of the whales. but this looks to me
rather fishy.
| have noticed that the Goldfish alwuz
haz stiff upper lip, but l think this IL
more owing to the bone that IL in him than
it IL tew his blood.
THE MACKREL.
The mackrel IL game fish. They
ought tew be well edukatcd, for they are
alwas in schools.
They are easy to bite, and are caught
with piece ov old red flannel pettycoat
tied into hook.
They amt the only kind ov fish that are
caught by the same kind of bait.
Mackrel inhabt the sea, but thoze which
inhabit the grocerys alwus taste to me az
though they had been born and fatted on
salt.
They want a good deal of freshning be-
fore they are eaten, and want good deal
of freshning afterward.
If can have plenty of mackrel for
breakfast, can generally make the other
two meals out ov cold water.
Mackrel are considered by menny folks
the best fish that swims, and are called
1.-the salt ofthe earth"
THE PoLLYwoGG.
The pollywogg il created by the sides
ov the road out ov thick water, and spends
biz infancy in pollywogging.
After he haz got through poliywogging
he makes up hiz mind that this world want
made for pollywoggs and nothing ven
ture nothing have" and then he turns his
attention to bigger things.
He looks out upon life with the eye ov
wisdum, and studying the various ami
mails or creashun, he Gums tew the kon-
klusion that the best thing he can do is tew
bekum a frog.
This il the way that frogs fust cum tew
be made, and pollywoggs tew be lost.
The pollywogg now leaves the water,
and spends a part ov hiz summers upon
land.
| He haz tew fife his way through life,
generally goes on the jump.
Being better at diving than at dodge
ing, he often runs hiz he'd against sticks
and stuns that the boys throw at him, but
hiz two mortal enemys are the French
man and the striped snaik. .....
The Frenchman il satisfied with hiz
hind leggs. but the snaik swallows him
whole.
hav seen sum good time made by the
frog, and the snak, the snaik after the
frog, and the frog after dear life.
/ If the frog kan only reach tree and
and klimb IT., he IL safe, for snaik kant
travel a tree.
don't kno az the pollywogg gains
ennythng by swoopping himself oph fora
frog, unless it IL experience, but never
hav bin able to diskover much oy emmy
happiness in experience
| If experience ever made man happy,
should have happiness.to sell, for am
one of them happy phellows who never
found ennything mot even the bite of
lobster) only through the kindness of ex-
pcrience.
THE BULL HEAD.
This remarkable beast OF prey dwells in
mill ponds and mud puddles, cluss to the
ground, and lives upon the young lizards
and dirt.
They have no taste to their mouths, and
never spit out ennything that they kan
swallo. s n
They have two ugly black thorns stick
ing out on the sidas ov their he'd, and are
az dangerous tew handle az a sx-bladed
penknife. with the blades all open TO onst.
TLty are like a kat; you have got to
skin them before they are fit to eat, and