Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-01-04
A CHAPTER ON TITLES.
Ana How tits that the Privates Never
GOT Home from the War.


The people Of the South have en- unac-
countable mania for titles that is always
remarked by strangers. 10 Georgia, for
instance, before the war, every man not
Judge" was Colonel" and the
lowest rank known was " Mejor," while
4" Generals we're as thick as blackberries
in briar patch. The same remark could
be made Of several States besides Gecr-
gia. II newcomer was curious enough
TO inquire the origin Of these tiiles, he
seldom received satisfactory reply.
The Generals had only been Attor-
ney Generals Of some backwoods political
district; or, perchsnce, General Of the
militia, which met twice q year to swap
horses and get drunk; the Colonies"
here and there had been connected with
public musters, where they wore epaulettes
and red sash, and a tall hat full Of
long feathers, rode snorting gray horse,
and carried o long sword, which was most
dangerous to the owner; and the
Motors were nice old gentlemen, who
we're brevetted by q generous public to
console them for numerous defeats in the
race for civil honors.
During the war this fine old crop OF
heroes died out, or by some convenient
metamorphosis resolved themselves into
plain Misters. But it remained for the
close of our late unhappiuess to develop
q crop of military titles thicker and worse
than feas at an old-fashioned camp
meeting. The people at home had rather
confused idea iof military rank, from
the fact that while the privates had been
cut off by the thousand at every battle,
the number of officers did not decrease
in proportion. If an officer was killed
or disabled, q subsltern or non COM
missioned officer was quickly promoted
to the vaeaeeg; but when a private was
killed lhere were no aspiranls for bis
place. Toward the latter part Of the
war it was difficult to find duties and
commands for oil the cfficers. The su-
pernumeraries were stuck about all over
the country at every crossroads post
and on every train and steamboat. The
officers had opportunities for going into
society even before the surrender, and
those in the rear were promoted more
rapidly than they had ever been in the
field. The non-commissioned officers
we're called lieutenant, the lieutenats,
captain; the captains, msjor, and the ma.
jors, colonel. When the war closed these
lieutenants, captains, msjors aGd col.
onels made strike for the cities and
towns; they made the trip successfully,
but the privstes. not having any money,
ratious, or horses, or suffers stores, ell
fell behind hnd we're waylaid BY bush
whackers. If any of them ever reached
the cities they came disguised as officers
and have kept up the deception ever
since. The people fell into the habit OF
calling every man who had been to the
army by some title, and thus every man
has one.
A man, the other day, looked dows
from a window at group of fourteen,
who we're talking on the corner, and
shouted, "Colonel' Eleven of the
crowd answered. He then cried out
"Msjor T. whereupon the remaining
three promptly answered there" just
when the new military measles we're of
their height, the old measles broke cut,
and we have Judges who never read
Blackstone, Generals who never
commanded anything more formidable
than saw mill, "Colonels" who never
drilled anything but rows Of corn, and
even Majors" and "Csptaius" who
won their titles by Sighting nobly
on fat boat years Rgo. And
thus it is that every other man
. at least has rank and title which
: he never denies. The habit is so neat
: universal tina. "colonel has lost ia
force, aud those who from once bearing
the rank in the army might bear it now
prefer TO be called plain mister. Ia the
North it is otherwise. A mau is seldom
, called colonel or captain unless be still
}. has the rank on his shoulder, and hi
commission in his pocket. We nearly
/, all have fallen into the habit, and ever
day Of our lives meet some one and say
; "How are yoa. Colonel" "How's you
7. folks. Colonel 2" " Call and see us
!. Colonel" GOOD day, Colonel" etc.
, when we know that the man spent hun
! dreds of dollars to keep out Of the army
: This is all very ridiculous, but it has thu
sanction of society and of public usage
and as long IS everybody calls everybody
t else major or colonel or general-and
: there was any higher rank would cal
them that also-the public press will b,
J. ant occasionally to fall iEto the sam
|, error. But the highest title yet bestowed
on man is Man.
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