Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-12-17
FACT AND FANCY.

An Indiana lawsuit about barrel of salt has
already cost 1852.
A thousand horses a day are said to be killed
for food in Paris.
Jerry Dunn, of New York, has killed man in
every State in the Union.
The census returns will show total popula-
tion of about 39, 900 900.
Boston ex-Mayor is going about now as
leader of minstrel troupe.
To he a merchant, the art consists more in
getting paid than in making sales
Bends, higb-heeled shoes and things, are fast
turning American women into crippes.
Why is the conductor of an orchestra like the
electric telegraph? Because he beats time.
Beware of judging hastily; it is better to
pend au opinion than to retract an assertion.
A girl in New York has received So, 900 for
her hand. 1t was mashed by ferryboat, and
she sued.
Value the friendship of him who stands by
you in the storms swarms of insects will sur
round you in sunshine.
Nashville, Tenn, man set a trap-gun in his
hen-house. In day two there was II darkey
funeral in the next alley.
There thirty-six publishers, with Sc, O0O-
600 capital, engaged in manufacturing Sunday
school books in this country.
western gentleman is under medical treat
ment for lead collie, induced by kissing young
lady of improved complexion.
Brougham's definition of lawyer" gentle
man who RECEIVERS your estate from the hands of
your enemy and keeps it himself"
An obedent daughter always makes faithful
wife. Let no man who values his own happi-
ness marry woman of an unilial nature.
An Illinois Postmaster gives notice as follows:
"After this date everybody must lick their own
postage stamps, for my tongue give OUT
New Haven announces the invention there Of
81 new style of rocker that will make the rock
ing-chair greater favorte than ever"
Hale Storms is n candidate for Sheriff in an
Illinois county. If be should be elected, rogues
will probably lookout for shelter at once.
man out West, who offered bail for friend,
was asked by Judge If he had an ncumberance
on his farm. "Oh, yes, said he "my old wo-
man"
Cincinnati child tied Grape on the door
knob TO see if the carriages would come to take
them out riding, as they did the family across
the street.
An old lady, gazing with astonishment at an
elephant in menagere, asked the keeper
" What kind of an animal is that eating hay
with his tail?
The New York Democrat says, incidentally :
" When you get the liver complaint, shut your
mouth tight when you see pill coming, and
W ihci out'
One of the sable orators of Old Virginia made
good point when he said I" De oyster got mo
sense than most folks, cause he knows when to
keep his mouf shet."
An Irshman, in recommending a cow, re.
marked: "S She will give milk year after year
without having calves, because she come of a
COW that never had a calf"
Punchnello gives this dialogue Aspiring
author-"Ah, you have read my essay? | hope
the verdict is favorable" Editor" Oh, yes
all right, acquitted on the ground of insanity"
An Illinois editor says: "Trying to do bust
ness without advertising is like winking in the
dark you know that you are keeping up pow
erful wnking, but nobody else has any idea
ofit."
Apron festivals are the latest novelties in the
charity line out West All the ladies attending
them wear aprons, and the gentlemen said
to submit kindly to being led about by apron
strings.
Infalbe remedies-For corns, easy shoes !;
for bile, exercise for rheumatism new flannel
and patience for gout, toast and water for the
toothache, dentist for debt, industry and for
love, matrimony.
A countryman in Detroit bet the engineer of a
foundry dollar that he could seize the hy-
wheel and hold it. He seized it, and was pick
ed up on pile of bricks outside of the building,
with window sash for a necktie.
A Grecian-bend foot-race Is announced amOug
the novelties of the Virginia State Fair. The
ladies will run bend foremost, and the prize will
be silver hustle. Twenty-six entries have
been recorded. There'll bo II rumpus.
As a river boat was loading at La Crosse,
large, gray mule refused to go on board. The
mate sung out to a deck hand, I" Twist his tail
and he'll come" Like Casabianca, that deck
hand obeyed orders, and like Casabiarca he no.
bly, died.
Two gentlemen were discussing the merits of
the Baptist and Universalist persuasions, when
the defender of the latter said " Why, you
Baptists cant save over three per cent. of the
people, while wei aarantee 90 out of every 100
ordinary sinners.
A man was married he lost bis wife, and had
stone erected over ber grave. He married a
second wife, and when she died he had the
gravestone split, and il thus served for the two
departed He proposed to a third, and the lady
quantity remarked "I do not believe that
stone will split again"
There Is a man in Dacotah, Iowa, so penuri-
ons that when sheling corn, and kernel flew
into q wood-pile, be removed seven cords of
wood to find it, neighbor standing near drop
ped kernel near where the searcher was look
ing. But when he found il he said "You
can. fool me with that small kernel the one |
lost was large one."
Mark Twain produces one Of the most striking
cases of meanness on record He says he knows
a society which hired a man to blast rocks as
he was pounding the powder with a crowbar an
explosion took place, sending the 'nan and crow
bar out of sight. Both came down all right and
the man went to work again promptly But
though he was gone only fifteen minutes, the