The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-07-22

The most dificuit thing to rsmember-ths
POOR. t,r
Melancholy trss-.hs weeping willow and the
pineapple.
A man ever ready 10 scnps an scquainsanoe.
the barber.
Texas n mpremely happy. Water Is . dollar
bucket, and whiskey about the same price, 20
that IL doesn't pay 70 sdul<rsis the latter.
PcunsylyaniA fArmer went shopping with
his wife, recently and then went home and hung
himssii Tho connection between the two acts
ID not clearly shown.
Be careful how you mortgage 10 the devil.
His notes are all payable on demand, and there
Is no telling when he may take notion 10 fore
close.
A Nevada editor says that Olive Logan Is
"tbe most right up and snappy ebullitiou Of
womanly git up and git that We ever had the
pleasure Of meeting"
Josh Billings says that the lion and the lamb
may 20 ssibly o. mtime lay down In this world
togather for Q few mirnets, but when the lion
kums 70 get up the lamb win Be missing.
Chang, one Of the siamess twins, 10 plning
for North Carolina, but Eng win not leave Eur
ope, and Chang does not feel - II he could 90
home without him.
II has been scientifically discovered that We
have NO further use Tor the ''little busy bee,"
As honey can be made better IN cheaper by .
new process. Bees must 20 into sOue Other
business.
A traveller informed the proprietor Of one Of
the New York hotels that his room was 20 high
that he could not hear the gong rung down
stairs. though he ooul dhear the angels whisper
In heaven
A gentleman In Indiana says. In . note 40
company ing letter for publication In the Louis
VILE Courier-J ournal:-"I sumtimes miss-spell
. word" and Its possible have spelt sicafAnt
rons."
Hon. Hiram Appleton Of Mystic, Conn, TO
Gently forwarded letter 10 . neighboring town,
requesting the Postmaster 10 deliver Il "to any
respectable attorney" Amer ten days Il WAS
returned with the significant Endorsement: "None
here"
..Chsries. do you really love my daughter
Minnies'' ''You know do, Mrs SimkinS"
"well. how much do you love hers'' III love
her-I love her Is hard-hArder than . horse
strength Of his affection.
Mr.. Beecher tells us Of class In his mission
school which Was offered Q banner for good
behavior. One youngster made some kind VI
disturbance one Sunday before school, when
the rest took him out and punched him till he
promised to reform! That class has got the
banner.
A Western editor announces the demise OF his
paper a. follows: "The brilliancy Of our career
has only been equalled by It's brevity. But we
retire with one piece Of knowledge We never pos
Q SGD before. We are satisfied that We are
fully competent to close the Affairs Of any paper
on the shortest notice The business manage
p,ent Of the paper would have been eminently
successful. but there wasn't any business to
manage"
In Illinois. Ann Jordan, Of the Protestant
Methodist church, gained quito rep utStion As
local preacher. Ann Was always really. large
ly to the annoyance Of Peter Cartwright. She
WAS present at one Of Cartwright's camp-meet-
ings; good feeling prevailed, and many were
at the altar. Cartwright called to all to kneel,
and asked some one to lead In prayer. Ann
struck OF at once, with much feeling and pow
er. Cartwright. not recognising her voice,
shouted out "Amen" A brother kneehng close
by whisperei: 1T Is Ann Jordan praying"
Cartwright, looking round and seeing that IL
was 30, cried out: 81 take that Amen backP'