The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-11-05
TAKING CARE OF BABIES.


man who loves peace and quietness. l had "A dose
of it the other day. l called to see female,
who, when she WAS Is, used to tow home from
meeting and unhltch at the gate. The old gal
had got hitched to teller" who sold gum drops
at wholesale, and had fine specimen of gum
drop chewer about year old crawling around
on the carpet. got to the house just as he had
swallowed his sixth pin for that day. ! had a
quiet little chat with the old gal, when she sud-
denly sprang up, and throwing the little kid into
my lap, she requested me to hold it while she
lust run around the corner" She shot out the
door and | was left alone with that baby A lit.
tie willow chair which looked like 1t might be
made to put fire under to warm pies, stood in
one corner; some square towels hung on a rack !;
whistle, rubber rattle box, and some parts of
wax dolls were strewed about the floor When
took the baby its face was wreathed in smiles
1t was as sweet AS a sugar plum, and it didn't
weigh more than a base ball. Before let 60 my
hold on that little animal, it weighed more than
An elephant; and that little crab Just as long
as a breadth Of Brussels carpet Is wide, had more
solid, genuine, consolidated, pure noise in him
than an unground cart-wheel--more yell than
an Indian and a locomotive combined. I natu-
rally take to babies mot two bables) when they
are sweet and good, but when they commence
to yell, it is natural for to desire some one
else to take em and let me 70, as it is to put
butter OH sweet potatoes.
Well l sat like dear, good love of a man.
holding on to that gals first born. He kicked
me IN the "stomack" like it bsonx to him. He
laughed and he crowed He rammed his big
toe in his mouth and chewed it, and for Just
about two minutes Re beat pie for pare goodness
l was just beginning to think it wasn't much of
o Job to take care of babies, and it was no wonder
80 many advertise to 80 out wet missing" when
the little rascal bodied his head around and dis.
covered that | wasn't his ma and l never saw
such "pizen' expression on a piece of human
meat as came across that sweet babies face
lie didn't admire my looks, and he opened the
hole under his nose SO wide that looked in and
saw the top Of his socks, beside the arm OF
doll he had swallowed some time previous
Great Judas. how he yelled! People passing
must have taken the house for founding hos
pital. He kicked and scratched, and tried to cut
his teeth on my nose. / " missed" him up IN the
air, and whirled him around and sung Little
boy Blue, come blow your horn" This pie sed
him" in a horn" Thon | stuck him astraddle
of my foot and jounced him, and in pure alto,
like a bird, warbled forth the stirring strains
from Beethoven of "Tre., trot to Boston," He
probably preferred to 20 by rail, for the effect
was not pleasing. He yelled at perfect con-
out the window, and as though l never
wanted to be II mother, and found myself try
ing to calculate about how long it would proba-
bly, take for female to "just run around the
corner" could have run around dozen cor.
ners since that woman left me with her infant
in my arms. The yell progressed favorsbly for
the child. unfavorabiy for me. tapped on the
window, and shouted "Shoo, shoe Look at the
bonny horses" l set all the pictures on the
walls swinging like pendulums, upset the
chairs, played football with the spittooas I
ryhtSf1ad opd 1opoal opI 7 kkol
on my knee, aad said, "There, there" Iratted
my bunch of keys, and finally swore and gave
him cussed good shake. Whcw blazes didn't
he 20 it then I He only cried out of his throat
before; now it came in q roar from way down
In his bowels. jumped right up and down for
two minutes. then crammed him into bureau
drawer and shut it up, and I went TO tho front
door and asked little boy if hed seen any wo.
man that looked like a mother going around a
corner. He said NO. Then l looked to see how
far it was to a corner, and went up stairs again.
l toll you my dear readers, that never since the
Pyramids were built, did SO much noise come
though 30 small hole Us came through the key.
hole OF that bureau drawer. 1t fairly whistled
opened the drawer, aud gave that young uu
just enc yank, then l shouted, "Shut upl" 80
loud that the boy in the next street commenced
closing the store and was just on the point
OF unpinning his fxings TO give him a darned
Gooo spanking, when in rushed the mother, who
said l must have stuck pins in him and that is
all the thanks got for missing that babe for an
hour. When his mother grabbed him. he cut
hisyell off so short thought his spinal column
had busted sure. left, and my fingers kept
weighing for an hour, did so want to spank
that child. babe may be square thing but
1t amt the square thingt leave with man to
nuss, and 1t ever again any married female does
propose TO leave her "well spring of pleasure
while she lust runs around the corner" she'll
have the pleasure of seeing me /" inst run around
the corner" first. JOLLY WuIrr Row
man at Kansas City had a cat that was a