New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-07-08


matchmaking the various corporal men,
bers, and consigning the immortal part to
the realms Of woe, the whole crowned with
the expression of dire intent to break into
the tabernacle Of life. It took two hours to
commit the sin, and two minutes to mete
ont the punishment, which was a fine Of ten
dollars.
NJ. Mean, after finishing up the Fourth,
started for his room; but things had got so
mixed up that when he tried to undo the
lock with his keyhole, the obstinate thing
wouldn't hold still. The result was sleep
in the street, and the bitter end fine Of
Eve dollars
King Whisky arranged grand combat
of two, between brace Of his subjects, F.
Larsen and Johnny Tompson. Like two
bulls in spring they engaged in the usual
preliminary believing and paving. Ere
they joined horns up came the inevitable
Charlie. This had the effect of extending
the fight, for with such men of war,
single Charlie was nowhere. The
potent whistle brought speedy rein
forcements, and struggle ensued
that, if performed on the stage, would have
served for a general rebellion. But, as we
find in all well regulated romances and
plays, the righteous cause eventually pre-
vailed and the resisters of constituted au-
thority were triumphantly marched to the
place ordained for such offenders. Then
came the diretul doom-a bully fine for
each.
An individual with a cadaverous COM
plexion and an air Of injured innocence was
brought I'D, He labored under the usual
bibacious imputation that besets the bum
merlike and the seedy. His name was John
Dixy; his nose was purple, and hisshat was
rusty. In his hand he carried forlsrn
looking pipe that, like its owner, perhaps,
had seen better days. His mind
seemed to be torn by conflict
ing emotions, and his shirt was
torn by hard usage. His coat and
pants exhibited an air of indescribability,
indicative rather of damp pavements than OF
haircloth sofas. As he came forward with
mien suggesting cross between Uriah
Heep and Harold Skimpole; while the court
seemed to overcome him. From the frowsy
crown of his head down to the torn soles OF
his ventilated boots, he exhibited a pervad-
ing sensibility that communicated itself
even to the pipe in his hand. And it was
very pauper Of pipe.
"Not blacker pipe nor with a shorter stem
Smokes Cambro- Brton versed in pedigree"
But woeful as the poOr.pipe looked, 1t was
doomed to yet deeper woe; for the trem-
bling fingers, fraught with the nervelessness
Of countless drains, suddenly relaxed their
hold, and swiftly what the pipe, down to fell
| destruction.
He eyed his pipe, he piped his eye, and
| then he did tale unfold Had he been
the '.needy knife grinder he would have
lacked no 'pitiful story when compass
sionated by friend of the people.
He had met the day before with one who,
under the g,lise Of earnest friendship, had
inflicted wrong that cut deep into the
soul. The false friend had given him phy-
steal nourishment abundant and without
stint; had reinforced the solid aliment with
| fluid comfort more copious still-the fluid
being to the solid as the circumference to
the diameter. Thus his soul had waxed
merry within him, and carking care had
faded into the far distance. Thus tempted
into sweet forgettulness, he had been basely
deserted, and left to seek his weary couch
| wherever fate might lead him. The world
| was all before him, where to choose" so he
| chose the banquettc Of the Main street.
There, ere dawn approached, the guardian
of the night discovered him as he lay like
| warrior taking his rest
He sco1ned to retaliate on the base
oppressor who had filed him with bread,
lightened his heart with the juice of the rye,
and then abandoned him to a heartless
pavement He would blame none, except,
| perhaps. one who was well able to bear it
the Fourth of July.
The court took compassion on the pow
ertv-stricken architect of his own mistor-
tunes. He was gently lectured; he listened
with the devoted air Of candidate for
orders. Thus ripely advised, he went on his
way, and was seen no more.
METROPOLITAN PoLICE.-At a meeting of
the board, held Wednesday, Hon. 0. j..
Dunn, presiding, all the members present,
the following charges against members of
the police force, were examined and dis
posed of as follows:
William Downs, river precinct. Charge.
unofficerlike conduct; guilty, and fined
three days pay.
Corporal j. D. Corbett, sixth precinct
Charge, disobedience of orders; pleaded
guilty, and fined one days pay.
d. Garvey, sixth precinct. Charge, asleep
on his beat; guilty, and fined five days
pay.
ting down while on duty; guilty, and fined
three days pay.
JOSEPH Gaspard, fifth precinct. Charge,
sitting down while on duty; guilty, and
fined three days pay.
J. H. Haynes, fifth precinct. Charge,
asleep while on duty; guilty, and fined five
days pay.
H. Marks, fifth precinct. Charge, asleep
on his beat; guilty, and fined five days
pay.
J.J. Lentz, fifth precinct. Charge, intox-
icatiOn: guilty, and dismissed the service.
John Kabka, fifth precinct. Charge, i'll
sulting his superior officer; guilty, and fined
William Weaver, second precinct.
Charge, neglect of duty; reprimanded.
THE GREAT IRISH PEDEsTRIAN.-Patsey
Conkley, the great Irish pedestrian and
runner of America, has just arrived here
from Charlestown, Massachusetts. He will
run against any man ten or twelve miles,
for any amount of money.
| -A