Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-15

knows too much to suit him, and he
| would like to find q man of better educa.
ton who would be willing to marry her
after she has been divorced.
of al the political repartees, one OF
the happiest was that Of Sheridan, who,
on being reproached by Pitt as forming .
drag chain on the wheels OF the govern
ment, bounded up with the reply that for
once he could compliment the minister
on the cor1ectness Of his allusion, since
the drag chain was never imposed
but when the vehicle was going down
hill.
"A medical gentleman has just come
ont with an article against tight boots.
He feelingly describes the connection be-
with red noses and weak eyes, and tells
those pretty martyrs who suffer In order
TO be lovely, that If they persist in wear
ing 6ottinss too small for them, "they will
get bashful looks, corrugated foreheads,
weakness Of sight, and, finally, astheso-
pta."
EFF you DO not close the window,
waiter, shall die from the draught,' said
a lady dining at the Crystal Palace"
"And if you do close It shall die from
the heat in this hot weather !" exclaimed
q stouter fair lady. Then there was 3
giggle among the diners at the dilemma of
the waiter, when literary gentleman
present said, "My good fellow, your duty
Is clear; close the window and kill one
lady, then open it and kill the other
lady"
While the great fire is still smoking,
the public are contrasting the showy
buildings burned with such fre-proof edi-
fees as the Tribune Block and the beauti-
full building on LsSalle street, owned by
the Republic Life Insurance Co. The man
ayers Of these two Institutions have wisely
secured homes for their business safe
against the destroyer, which fifty repre-
sent their own permanence and stability
the Tribune furnishing intelligence, and
the Republic Life protection for the fami.
lies Of the West Let the business men
follow their example. Chicago Tribune,
Sept. 6.
The managers of the Erie Railroad
ard the New York Tribune have quar-
relied, and the circulation Of that paper is
excluded from the road. Fisk, Jr. thereat
perpetrstes good joke on III. G. The
"Woodbine man" says his action in the
premises was prompted by motives of
kindness, especially to the farming inter.
ests; that there are many misguided men
along the line of the Erie road; who have
regulated their agricultural movements In
accordance with Fl. G's articles under the
head of "What know about Farming"
and that the earth, indignant at such NAL
treatment, refuses to yield her increase.
Happily, since the order went into effect
forbidding the Iribune's transmission. 1t
Is noticed that farming begins to revive.
The Boston Transcript says: When
Professor Dubois first came TO this coun-
try he boarded with lady, and one day
corn was set before him for the first time.
The professor took an ear of it, and tried
to eat it by putting the smallest end into
his mouth. OF course he found it tough
and UNBEATABLE. The waiter whispered
in his ear, Turn it over and take it the
other way The professor obeyed by try
ing to get the largest end in his mouth,
and finally gave it up as an impracticable
undertaking. His iandlady eventually
inquired, How do you like the corn, Pro-
lessor Dubois?' Oh he replied, I think
it very fine for de big pigs SO it is,
replied the lady, not noticing his plate,
and won't you have come more then 2
No one enjoyed the joke more than Du-
bois himself, and he tells the story now
with gusto and enjoyment that makes it
really plQudnt."