Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-09-21
TFron- the Netion.1
THE LATEST FASHION IN CLERGY
MEN.

He believes that ''religion isnOt the
gloomy and formal thing" that 1t is
made out to be in serniuuries. In
seminaries, pale, knOek-kneed young
men, with long hair, hollow chests
and bad digestiOns, eat Graham crack
ers, and read Jonathan Edwards, and
practice the writing Of elaborate ser
mons, and never take a walk, and are
afraid of a horse, and wear black
coats, and blush painfully when young
women look at them.
No; religion is a cheerful thing
So he wears q mustache- He says
nothing fOrbids the devOutest follow
er of Christ to keep his liver in good
order; and that, if a fast trotter con-
duces TO that effect, why he shall get
one. He holds that the weaker breth-
ren are vely weak, if they think his
glass Of wine is worse for him than
their strong coffee 3 for them. Why
should not a sinner set forth TO his fel-
low sinners the infinite merits OF the
Savior without tying up his neck in
white muslin? So he valiantly turns
down his shirt collar, and his eOnser-
vative deacOns are lucky ii he does
not wear q necktie Of some light shade
and smoke cigars in the outskirts Of
the village.
When he meets the infidel tailor, he
does not pass by him with an air Of
mingled pain and rebuke which eaus-
es the ill-tempered little scOundrel to
L blaspheme more hideously than ever,
and to bawl out to his sad-eyed wife,
| q believer yOked with an unbeliever,
that there goes another of her infer
nal hypocrite parsons. On the con-
/ trary, he stops genially at the shop
window; goes further in pointing out
| errors in our version Of the Scriptures
/ than Tom Paine himself, the tailoris
favorite author; gets his measure Ia
/ ken for a coat; makes the little bias
/ phemer think to himself, Well, any
how, this amt one Of your hollow
| chested croakers like old Smith, or
| Skimp, OF that Merkes; points out,
I then, that through this and a thOus-
and more errors may be alleged by the
scOfFer, and freely admitted by the
believer, the eternal truths Of the BIZ
/ bic are still as near the tailOr's soul, q,
aud of as tremendous importance to
it, as ever; gives the tailor's son a
lesson in boxing; leaves the tailor in
the shop, and, going into the back
parlor, prays with the tailOr's wife
not a dry set prayer like Skimp's but
a heartfelt talk with his Father, which
the tailor hears through the door, and
he comes out. gets a light for his cigar
from the infidePs pipe, recommends
/ him to procure such a brand Of tObae-
co, and goes away leaving Skeptieus
/ badly staggered, and on the high road
/ to Sunday clean shirts and surrepti-
Gus attendance at "evening meet
ings."
The Live Man in the ministry new
ler breaches; he talks. Christ is not
to him an abstraction, he says, but
/ his fiesh-and-blOOd brother, who loves
/ to be addressed familiarity. So, when
preaching and praying, he is net
/ averse to little slang-provided it is
not the kind called Sermonese. What
harm is there in a joke from the pull
pit? In short, the new Timothy is
usually a young gentleman with
more blood than brains with more
ability to talk fiuently than capacity
for thinking; about spiritual-mind-
ed as a stock broker, and not so well
hammered as learned as a magazine
writer; as witty as a sophomore; as
noisy as stump speaker; as displeas-
ing person to anybody who likes
spiritual and moral teachers to be Of
clear heads and clean hearts as any
person that can well be conceived of.