The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-07-07
HUMOROUS.

II was N1alOe udU "nO TeuAEkeOs 1ItcI
hearing Anna Dickinson, Wal, meow,
there amt anything very coaxing about
her, is there?'
If you see Jones at the theatre with q
Young lady, yell out, Hello Jones, how is
your sick WIFI Jones will think it funny.
A young lady of Montgomery, Alabama,
who was caught smoking cigar, gave as a
reason for the act, That it made it smell
as though there was a man around
A sign on an eating house on the New
Jersey railroad says: Coffee and fresh
laid eggs by Mrs. Jones'
A traveller who has crossed the Atlantic,
tells story of storm, when the rain
poured down in such torrents that the
ocean rose ten inches. There's no mis-
take, said he, because the captain kept Il
mark on the side of the vessel
The census taker in Davis county, Iowa.
asked woman at q farm house the age OF
her oldest child, and the reply was: You
have come around about month too SOON
A rich old uncle who had two nephews
left his will as follows: TO my nephew
William, | leave my whole fortune, be-
cause | know he will bes;ow it on the
poor. To my nephew Albert, / leave
nothing, for the same reason
A young lawyer at Eatontowh, N. j., in
the midst of a brilliant outburst of elo>
quence, was interrupted by shril voice,
which yelled, Stop you lie. Stop! YOU
lie Young legality smoothed his ruff1ed
feathers when the sheriff announced that
it was only a parrot in neightoring
house.
A business that is always picking up-a
raggatherer's.
The latest parlor game Sitting up. 1t
takes two to play it.
A rude fellow once told Barnum he had
never exhibited anything that was not
barefaced humbug. Yes, | have said
Barnum; the bearded lady wasn't bare
faced.
A celebrated actor had ordered green
pea soup; it was served, but contained
only one pea. He took off his coat, but
the waiter informed him no one was al
lowed to dine liz shirt sleeves. Oh was
the reply, L am only going to dive after
my pea.
'Why does the operation Cf hanging kill
a MANI inquired Dr. Whateely. A ply
sioogist replied: Because inspiration is
checked, circulation stopped, and blood
suffuses and congests the brain. 'Bosh!'
replied his grace. 1t is because TIE rope
is not long enough to let his feet touch the
ground.
The Crown Prince of Prussia met the
other day. at court ball. his tailor, whom
he asked how he liked it. Very well,
your Royal Highness, replied the kpi ght
of the needle; only it seems to me the
company was little mixed Why re,
piled the Crown Prince Immediately, you
did not expect to see Oh y tailors here, did
you?'
A foolish fellow advised friend not to
marry poor girl, as he would find matri-
mony without money uphill work.
Goose said his friend, i would rather
20 up hill than down, any tune.
L say said Yankee to an Irishman
who was digging in garden, are you dig,
ging out a hole in that onion bed?' No,
said Pat, In digging out the dirt and
leaving the hole.
A little boy once said to his aunt:
'Aunty, | should think that Satan must
be an awful trouble to God He must be
trouble enough; indeed. 1 should think so,
she answered. L don't see how he came
TO turn out so, when there was no devil to
| put him up to it,
Jeannie," said a Scotchman to his
daughter, who was asking his consent to
accompany her urgent and favored sutton
to the altar, JEANNE, it is very solemn
thing to get married. L know it father,
said the sensible damsel, but it is a solemn
er not to-
A buffoon at the court of Francis l.
complained to the King that great lord
threatened to murder him. If be does, ,
said Francis, he shall be hanged in FIVE
minutes after L wish, replied the cons
plainant, your majesty would hang him
five minutes before.
An Indianapolis woman recently gave
birth to a child during her husbands alb
sence. and just before his return the
neighbors' borrowed two other babies aud
placed them in bed with the little stranger
! When the father asked to see his child, the
coverlid was turned down, and although he
must have been immensely surprised, he
coolly turned to his wife and asked-'Did
any get away?
A Lynn, Mass, correspondent mentions
little incident of d. f. and Bob G. The
latter had applied for admission to an or
thodox church His occupation was that
of cobtler, and an Indifferent cobbler he
was at that. After church F. beckoned
one Of the deacons across the street, and
said: We'll, deacon, Bob G. wants to
JOIN our meeting. Yes; DO you know
anything about hin?' We'll, no; bit be-
fore you take final vote on him, I'd Just
like to show you job of cobbling he did
for me: that's all
A friend was coming to New York from
Boston, and just opposite to him sat lady
and her child, the latter beautiful little
girl, with wonderful bright eyes, and lit
tie winsome face-the very picture in min
iature of her mother She attracted much
attention, and won many smiles and tender
ylances as she moved about the seat.
An elderly gentleman looked into the
witching things eyes, and was fascinated
at once. STOPPING, he lovingly patted her
cheek, andIasked: Wont you give me q
kiss, pretty one? like to kiss little girls.
She looked at him very archly for an in
slant. and then propounded the very EN-