Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-09-29
THE JOSH KILLINGS PAPERS.
Long Branch I'm slices.

Long Branch IL the eastern terminus ov
sum real estate the west side ov the
Atlantik Oshun, and liz lokatid Gloss down
to the edge ov the water.
The populashun IL homo genus, woman
genus, girl and boy genus, yung one genus,
and divers other kind ov genus.
J The divers genus are sum plenty. They
go into the Atlantik Oshun, hand in hand,
man and wife, phellow and gall, stranger
and strangeresses, drest in flowing robes,
aud cum out by and by like statusry in a
tile fit.
Tie Atlautik Oshun liz a CRATE success.
Tho author and proprietor ov it never
makes emmy blunders.
Thare liz a CRATE deal ov morality here
at Long Branch. Thare is sum isolated
cases ov iniquity, and q clever sprinkliug
ov innocent deviltry.
am pleased to state that the ;ni1.fy n
principally in fust hands, and finds but Iew
takers.
| The find of tho Atlsutik Oshun liz salt.
aud haz blu 80 Tor more than 800 years 10
my knowledge. L state this as a stubborn
takt, and the 'Osdest illhGJitdRt" may help
himself if be can.
The ockasbun IF this psaltness has both
cred the clergy for years. sum ov them
say that large Jumps ofpsalt wus deposit
ed in the cshun, AT an early day, b, the in
Iuns, for safe keeping, and some say that
the great number ov kodfish and number
? makrel that travel It's waters haz favored
the oshun.
endorse the bodtiSh and makrel Job,
not bekauze l think II iz true, but be-
kauze I think 1T IL the weakest, and have
alwus bin i'll the habit NV standing up for
the weak and oppressed
Fl,rtashuns are thick mere, bu. princi-
paIly occur amung thoze who have wore the
c c.njugaJ yoke until their necks hav begun
10 git CALLED.
Iiieze flirtations are looked upon az en-
rely innocent, and are called recruiting. -
They are konsidered by sum (who call
themselves Judges, more bracsinq than sea-
airing.
hIillionaires are numerous, besides others
who put on a mill, un ov airs more or less.
Now and tben WI will see forrin snob
Just over from the other side ov the Allan
III O,hun. They wear long shirt-collars,
turned down, and short noses turned mp.
The landlord tells me they hav all paid
their bills thus lar. and he sez, the lasl
thing he duz at mite, before he goes tew
sleep. iz to pray that they will kontinue on
to do SO.
The prayers ov the righteous ARE sed tew
lie heavy, and weigh well. and tho land
lord being ov righteous turn ov mind,
think he will win.
The Continental Hotel iz the principal
one here, and il infested, Just now, by
eight hundred and fifty innocent creatures,
who eat meals per day.
The female portion ov these dear inno-
cent creatures, rool up their sleeves, and
90 down ones day, TO the keel Ov their
trunk, and drag ont bi the MAJ, ov the mex
sum clothes, that would make tho Queen
oy Sheeba sorry that she hadn't postponed
living until Long Branch had bin invented,
SO that she could have got the style.
advise all oy hi friends to come to the
Continental Hotel. and bring their best
clothes with them.
Long Branch hez menpy things to inter
est the scholar, and the philanthropist,
among which iz the race-course, Just bilt
Iattcnded this racc-course lately, and
saw some very good rotary movements on
il.
didn't bet, bekause hav alwus been
pricipled aginst losening emmy money.
think could win epny quantity ov
money. and spIle mi morality. but the loss
ov IN dollars would git mi virtew out ov
repair for ages.
Long Branch is ALSO the home ov the
miscellaneous crab, and the world re-
nowned musketo.
The crab is kaught i'm endless confusion
at Plezzure Bay cluss bi Long Branch.
He iz kaught bi tieing hard knot on the
other end ova string, and then dropping
the string down In the water, and tickling
tho bottom of his feet with the knot, in this
way, sumtimes ho is Mught, and sumtimes
he is not.
The musketo IL az natral to Nj Jersee az
Jersee lIteniDg is.
The musketo il a marvellous kuss, but viii
he ever wuz allowed tew take out hiz
papers, and travel, IL unknown tew me, or
emmy ov my near relations.
II he baz emmy destiny to fill, it must be
bis stummuk, for he is the biggest bore,
ackording tew the size ov hiz gimlet, i hay
ever met seldom. 1t don't look we'll for a
philosopher tew he fracktious at ennything,
not even bug, but if emmy boldly ever
hears me swear (out Ioud) he may know
thare has bin kussid musketeer on mi
premises.
L cum tew Long Branch Tin company
with mi wlfep at the opening ov the season,
and put up at the Continental Hotel, and
ihec'h ucW W htcp putttuG up tnafS until
tue house shuts up, If 1 hav tew kiimb the
ilag staff tn do it.
Every boldly who pats mp at this hotel
IL allowed tew put up regular. once u
week, for hiz board, and promiskuss
things
This IL a blessed privilege, which sun
folks kant never enjoy, until they are de-
prived ov II.
1t will then be forever too late.
am one ov them cunning kritters WIN.
when they find good hotel. 225 pound
landlord, and polite officials, dwell with
them heavily.
hey sed before (in writing about ho
tels) that almost emmy boldly thinks they
know how tew keep a hotel (aad they d.
kRoU ho,o). but thie ackounts for the CRATE
number ov kussid poor hotels all over the
country.