Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-05-20
TN7'ietieS.

to the collector. 81 don't got mein
bapers, unit cant vote"
SUPERIORITY OF ANCIENT ARcHI.
TECTURE.-That was triumphant ap-
peal of an Irishman, lover Of antiq
uity, who in urging the superiority of
the old architecture over the new. said,
where will you find any modern
building tina. has lasted SO long as the
ancient ?" And it is not such bull
as it looks.
San franciscan, speaking of the
orchestra in the Chinese Theatre there,
says: II tell you, you::can go your bot
tom dollar that you never heard any.
thing like it; why, when that band
strikes up. it sounds like ten thousand
wash boilers tumbling off five story
building on brick sidewalk"
One of our bravest preachers
says: II have great hope of wicked
man; slender hope of mean one.
| A wicked man may he converted and
become a pre- eminent saint. A mean
man ought to be converted six or
seven times, one right after the other,
to give him fair start, and put him
on an equality with a bold wicked
man.
OuAcKERY. - Ma'am," said a
quack to nervous old lady, your
case is a scrutuntutury complaint"
:. Pray, doctor, what is that 2 1t is
the dropping of the nerves, ma am, the
nerves having fallen into the pizarin-
tum. the chest becomes morberous, and
the head goes tizarized, tizarieen. "
"Ah, doctor, exclaimed the old lady,
you have described my feelings ex-
actly."
Allegheny, Pa, has doctor OF
divinity, who, after writing ninety six
notes to lady about marrying her,
now wants to get out of it. He says
there is !" a divinity that shapes our
ends" in Boston, only eighteen years
old, and rich. too, that he wants tc
marry. The Allegheny girl says she
never did have any luck with minis
tiers
I'm one of the interior towns Of
Pennsylvania an enterprising fellow
deals in books, stationery, Yankee no
tons, etc. If the customer inquiries
for any article not on hand, the dealer
is sure to have something else which
will answer just as well Last summer
a gentleman entered the store and ask.
ed for copy Of "The Potiphar Pa.
pers." +" Haven't got them," was the
reply but / haze some most eacel-
lent fly paper r
OLD LADY.-''Can you tell me, my
good man, where l can find Mr.
Jones ?"
| PAT. "Sure ma'an. l expect il
would be at his house ye would find
him."
LADY-"Docs he live anywhere in
the street here ?"
PAT-"Sure. no indade /; it's not for
the likes of him to be living in the
street at all"
LApY-"You stupid fellow, mean
what number does his family stop at?''
PAT-"Now ma am you have me he
has six boys and four girls already, but
whether he means to stop at that NUN
Der"
LADY-"Oh, you block head !" FIX
it old lady in tremor of indignation.
SO rapid is their way Of doing
things in Chicago that, when man
makes up his mind to reform (rather a
tough job), it becomes important to fix
him promptly. 1t is therefore neces-
sary. at times, to cut a hole in the ice
| to perform the solemn ceremony Of bap-
tism. On one of these occasions a
convert, who had felt the necessity of
| that rite, was immersed, and on coming
out was asked by the minister, How
do you feel now, brother ?" Better"
was the reply; "put me in again. :"
The request was complied with, and af.
ter the second dip, the question was re.
pNated. How do you feel now 2"
j" Better! better e. was the response in
solemn tone of voice" the devil
may go to grass noao I"
Such is the plueky split Of the Chi
cago convert!
A HAPPY REJoINDER-AtO Oxford,
some twenty years ago. tutor of one
of the colleges limped in his walk.
Stopping one day last summer at rail-
way station, he was accosted by WELL
known politician, who recognized him,
and asked if he as not the chaplain
of the college at such time, naming
the year. The doctor replied that he
was. was there" said his inter-
rogator. and knew you by your limp"
" WE'LL" said the doctor, 9" it seems
my limping made deeper impression
on you than my preaching 'e4Ah,
DOCTOR was the reply with ready wit,
sit ia the highest compliment we can
pay a minister to say he is known by
his walk rather than by his CONVERSE
lion.