Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-02-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


PAY down when you buy, and you
won't have to pay up by-and-by.
THE WOMAN QUESTION" Is that back
hair all your own ?"
A Coop RuLE-To keep good company,
and be one of the number.
WISE men insure in the Washington
Life Insurance Co., of New York.
WHEN apprentices desire most to travel
When they become journey-men.
"MEIN HERR, do you know what for
| we call our bow Hans? ?" II do not,
really" "Well, tell you. Der reason
that we call our boy Hans is-it is ish
name"
ASTONISHING fashions in spring hats
and bonnets are promised. Perhaps the
bonnet will be worn under the chin, and
a bow. not tied on the top Of the head.
THE New York fleming Post says: II
any very small boy asks what fruit is like
the site of the United States Naval Acad-
envy, tell him an apple is"
| A VERY VULGAR SILL" You ought
not to come to our dance in boots with
nails in EN-" II haven't" Then you've
had your toes cut of."-Punch.
SOMEBODY says that Ike's last trick was
to throw Mrs. Partington's gaiter into the
alley. and call the old lady down from the
third floor to see an alley gaiter.
A CORRESPONDENT Of the Country Gen.
Neman thinks if fruit trees were planted in
stead of naples, we could have shade, or
nament and fruit.
JOSH BILLINGS says: "The mewl is q
larger bird than the guse or turkey. II
has two legs to walk with and two more
to kick with and it wears its wings on
the side of its head"
HAVE made sufficient examination OF
the condition of the Washington Life In.
surance Company of New York to war.
rant me in taking policy of Twenty
Thousand Dollars. EDWARD F. JONES,
Pres. Jones' Scale Works.
New York, 1859.
EMILY Qittle sister)-What large fam
lily the spinsters must be. Ihear in church
every Sunday that some of them are going
to be married. Frances (elder sister)-Oh,
you little stupid. Don't you know what
spinsters are2 Bachelor ladies, OF course.
RATS and mice are completely destroy
ing the crops Of the Sandwich Islands.
In order to exterminate the pests, an at
tempt was lately made to introduce the
rice-swamp snakes Of Java, bat the
Kanaka Legislature, fearing the coming
of the serpent devil they had read about
in missionary books, ordered the snakes
to be thrown overheard in the harbor of
Honolulu.
SEVERAL persons have lately been ar
raigned in York County, Maine, for viola
ton of the liquor law, and much ingenu-
ity was manifested by their customers, in
evading the truth before the court. One
man, an unusually tall one, before starting
for court, stretched himself out on the
family cradle and had his wife rock him,
and then went and testified he had not
drank anything intoxicating since he was
rocked in the cradle.
j. w. Marshall, who first discovered
gold in California, at Suffers mill, Is now
living at Kelsey's Diggings, Ell Dorado
county. He is upward of 80 years of age,
and is 80 reduced in circumstances that,
though feeble, he is compelled to work for
his board and clothes, not being able to
earn more. In order to render him sub
stantial aid in his declining years, it is
proposed that the miners Of California
take up collection, limiting the subscrip-
ton to fifty cents each, and present it to
him.
IAN English gentleman entered bar
bers's shop at Calais, and addressed the
barber: IL am delicate about the skin.
Shave me without cutting me, and will
give you sovereign. Cut me, and-here
are two loaded pistols |" The barber,
nothing daunted, shaved the delicate skin
with admirable skill. "Humph!' said the
Englishman, "then my pistols did not
alarm your" "No, SIR" "And why not?"
"If my razor had slipped" said the bar.
Der, II should have finished by cutting
your throat" The Englishman disap.
peared.
Two females in New Orleans were ar
rested for q breach Of the peace: "What
did you fight about'" asked the justice:
Mr.. H." was the reply. where is hes'
he demanded. "Here," responded small,
squeaking voice from the far corner of the
room. "Here, Your Honorw and poor,
woe-begone looking article made his ap-
pearance. "Do you claim both of these
women as your wifes" the Recorder asked.
swell, AIRY one of 'em II dol" "Why do
you have two wivesY" "Well, you see,
when Sbne gets obstropercus l kin 60 to
tother, and she most generally pities me.
THE following letter comes to the sur.
face in Texas paper: GALVESTON, Jan.
uary the 7th, 1870. My Lovin Wyfe-Ime
comm ONE mex week an hav fOrgiv you
for jawin me. I'll come on the O'Clock
frame and shall stay ONE hereafter & tr
to be altered man. want peace and
80 do yew why shoodn't we love each
luther, as we use ter when we were first
jined together In the wholly bands of mad
lock, I've jined temperance society but
! If you ever jaw me agin for cummin ONE
i'll wsllap you like CITY fur we must heve
peese as grant ses."
THE New York Musical Gazette SAYS
that when the idea of learning to sing BY
note was first introduced into New Eng
land, something more than 100 years ago
1t was strongly opposed on religion
grounds 1t was regarded as nothing lesl
than Popery In disguise. The New Eng
land Chronicle put It in this form: III
the singing of songs by rule is allowed
the next thing will be to pray by rule, and
preach by rule, and then COMBS Popery.'
In the town Of Braintree, several mem.
bers Of the church were expelled because
they advocated singing by note.
"SERvE him right" said Mrs. Punch
impatiently throwing down the paper con.
tanning the report of breach Of promise