Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1870-07-15
5Aiscelianu.
Why Aunt Sally Never Married.

No"j NUM- Ro'lS w piSasS NSil uS
why you never married. You know
you said once that when you were a girl
you we're engaged to minister, and
promised that you would tell us all about
it sometime. Now, Aunt, please do"
"Well, if ever did see such girls in
all my born days. rs tease, tease from
morning till night, but what you must
know everything that you haven't any
business to know anything about. Such
inqusitive, pestiferous critters as you are
When | was young, girls were different; /;
they minded their business, they didn't
go sailing around with whole string of
6eaux, getting their heads filled with all
kinds of nonsense. | never dared to ask
my aunts, married or single, about any
of their affairs. Pretty mess I'd got in
if had When they offered to tell me
anything of their own accord, | kept my
mouth shut and listened. Everything is
different now days; young folks have no
respec. for their elders. But as I see /
am not going to have any peace till l do
tell, why just listen, and don't let me
hear word out of one of your mouths
till | get through" :"
"That's right, Aunt Sally, 60 right
ahead do, and we will keep perfectly
still"
"Well YOU see when was about sew
enteen years old, L was living in Utica
in the State Of New York. Though |
say it myself, was quite good looking
| girl then, and had several beaux. The
one that took my fancy most was a
young minister, very promising young
man and remarkably pious and steady
He thought a good deal of me, and
had kind of fancy to him, and thing;
ran on till we were engaged"
Zone evening he came to mel re
member it as well as if it were only yes
terday. When he came into the parlor
where l was sitting alone, he came VI
to me and-butnow pshaw girls l dom
like to tell the rest"
cob, Aunt Sally, for mercy's sak'
don't stop; tell US what he did,"
"Well, as | said, he came up to mt
and put his arms around me, and rathe
hugged me, while got excited and SOM
frustrated, and it was long time ago
and l don't know but what l might hav'
hugged him back a little. Then fel
but now just clear out, every one o
you, l shant tell you any more"
Goodness, gracious, no Aunt Sally
tell us how you felt Didn't you fee
good, and what did he do next %
ooh, such torments as you are?
was like any other girl, and pretty sooI
l pretended to be mad about it, an,
pushed him away, though | wasn't MAJ
bit. You must know that the hous
where I lived was on one of the bac,
streets of the town. There were win
dows in the parlor, which opened righ
out over the street, and no balcony Q
anything of the kind in front of th
kind in front of the house. As it wa
in the summer season these doors wer
open and shutters just down too. steI
ped back a little from him, and when b
edged up close | pushed him away agair
| pushed harder than ] intended to, an
don't you think, girls, the poor fello'
lost his balance and fell through one {
the doors into the street? Yes, it's so.-
As be fell | gave scream and caugl
him but | declare won't tell any NOR
I'm going to leave the room"
"No, no, Aunt Sally How did yo
catch him? Did it hurt him much p
"Well, if / must, / must. He fe
head first, and as he was going caugl
him by the leg Of his trowsers. | hel
ON for a minute and tried TO pull hi
back, but his suspenders gave away an
the poor young man fell clear out of hi
pantaloons into whole parcel OF your
ladies and gentlemen passing on ii
street"
"Oh, Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, Lord!
He, he, he"
"There, that's right; giggle al
soueal as much as you want TO. Gin
that can't hear about little thing lii
that without tearing around the roo
and he-heing in such a way, don't kno
enough to come home when it rains.
nice tine the man that ever marlies oil
of YOU will have, won't he Catch n
telling anything again"
But Aunt Sally, what became
him Did you ever see hiE- again 7
: "No. the moment he touched {
ground he got up and left that place
terrible hurry. / tell you it was
i sight TO be remembered, to see how tn