Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-12-07
PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS OF MRS.
MAGPIE.
BY ROSE PHILLIPS.

BY ROSE PHILLIPS es..
Wea not quite certain that our lady
bird ever had mate; yet-we children
used to call her Magpie, on account of
a certain traditionary legend of an old
half-crazed servant at our Uncle's place,
which ran on this wise:
mistress Magpie did possess hus-
band once, =" he said-''a handsome, dig
nifed-looking bird; but on the very day
that their nest in the hawthorne branch
es was completed he flew away, and did
not return again. They feared some
thing dreadful had befallen him, and
his wife had ever since remained very
proper widow. She had not been guilty
of single Irritation; and in fact, was
never known to have beau again, ex-
cept on one occasion, when an impudent
Jackdaw came accounting. But Mrs.
Magpie seemed displeased at such pre-
sumption on his part, and the disdain-
full manner with which she received all
his lover-like advances said palmer than
words could speak it, "A pretty figure
your dusky feathers would cut, to be
sure, alongside of my white and green
and purple and blue and golden plu
mage And then she glanced at his
head, as if to say: THAT member is
large for the size of your body, sir. A
sure indication of craftiness. Why, you
are not above the dimensions of a COM
mon pigeon Then those long legs and
feet Of yours I should think better suit
ed to your neighbor the chough, if they
were only of red color. And the rich
gilded combination of CLOSES upon Mrs.
Magpie's tail appeared to wax brighter
and brighter in the glinting sunlight, as
she kept hopping further and further
away from her would-be adorer, finally
disappearing from sight, leaving him
perhed up there upon the limb alone,
like a great, silly jack that he was, for
presuming that she would favor his
wooing. .
This simple tale of blighted welded
bliss and loyalty to the memory of her
departed lord inspired within our child
ish hearts feelings of pity almost akin
to love for poor, dear, disconsolate wild
ow Magpie. And, indeed, had her 9TH
er qualities been in keeping with her
personal attractions, we would have con-
tinued to remain among the most de-
voted of her admirers. Strange rumors
were afoat, though, concerning this in
teresting feathered friend, from which
we gathered that she was vain, restless,
noisy, quarrelsome, an unwelcome in
truder in the poultry yard, and never
missed an opportunity of doing mis-
chief But little Brother Fritz-who
said: & It's jolly fun to go barefoot,
and wear ones trousers rolled up to
ones knees was not inclined to give
such idle gossip credit. He thought
her enemies slandered Mrs. Magpie
and on the strength of this charitable
opinion undertook one time to cultivate
a more intimate acquaintance, when the
malicious bird spitefully assailed his
unprotected ankles, and pecked away
until his terrified screams brought the
entire household to the rescue Mrs.
Magpie's natural Incidence promoted
her to teaze the largest animals, when
she could do so with perfect security.
Hence, it was a favorite pastime with
her to alight on the back of a patient OK
or defenseless sheep, for the purpose
of seeking out the insects to be found
there, chattering and tornenting the
poor creatures meanwhile, till they
would turn their heads backward; then
she would stretch out her neck, and
mockingly initiate whatever sounds they
uttered. Indeed, no food whatsoever
seemed to come amiss to this german
dizer. She would make a dinner on
worms; was ready to share with the
raven in its carrion OF with the rook in
its grain. And if a young chicken
CHANGED to get separated from the moth
er hen, it was pretty sure TO fall vic
tim to her voracious appetite. Should
it prove too much for one meal, Mrs.
Magpie, with a providence rather un-
usual with gluttons, would carefully
hide the remainder of the feast, and af-
fer a time would return to the secret
hoard and devour the last morsel
Neither did she hesitate to make
swoop upon timid blackbird's nest
and, If the parent escaped with her life,
the unfedged little ones would fall an
easy prey to their merciless assassin.
But besides Mrs. Magpie's murder
ing and thieving propensities for rob-
bing bird 's-nests, she was likewise ad-
dicted to pilfering other articles Any
papers lying about, which happened to
attrack her notice, were instantly torn
to pieces, probably because she saw
they were valued. And this habit of
petit larceny finally paved the way to
the commission of a still greater crime,
for which she was destined to suffer the
Just penalty 1t seems that she had
contracted secret passions for shining
substances. And the whole family were
alarmed one day by the unaccountable
disappearance of diamond ring.
Every servant was accused; and each,
conscious of their own innocence, sus-
pected each other. No one thought of
Mrs. Magpie, until the stable-boy, upon
climbing on the roof to see abouta leak,
discovered a suspicious looking excava-
tion in the rotten timber In another
minute, Mrs. Magpie was beside him
displaying great uneasiness; and began
to pace back and forth, bowling and
'sPretty Mag, pretty Mag" But cir
cumstantial evidence was against her;
and, search being instituted, to Ben's
unspeakable JOY, the glittering jewel
came to light
As Fritz declared that he was little
preiudiced against the culprit, his name
was stricken from the jugy-hst selected
for her trial. Yet when our foreman
brought in the verdict, Guilty" and
the fiat had gone forth, death by de-
capitation,n - to the surprise OF all, Mas
ter Fritz arose in open court and made
most eloquent plea IN favor OF the
sentence being commuted to imprison-
onment for life. The stern judge re-
Tented, and Mrs Magpie was according
" shut up in a cage; and the elegant
plumage, which in happier days had
been her peculiar pride and boast, was
soon broken, torn, and sadly disorder
ed bv constant rubbing against her
prison walls.
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