Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-03-17
Josh Billings on Boston,

1t is city of lmmenses ponduhcks, CRATE
attempts, vast VICTORIES, and tremenjuous
learning.
The inevitable skool-marm, the kan
phene agitator, the warlike debater, all cum
red,hot from Boston.
am playkarded to ehtnr here tonight
Mt Muslck Hall, but how shall succeed the
Lord only knows, for |, man of no learn
ing, very poor speller and devoid of inn
pudense, and got TO face poets and skolars,
historyans and sages, besides lots OF VIM
min, who have got more education in one
minute than NebudkeneZzer had after 900
years of toll and sweat,
shall probably make fizzle Of it, but
have one consol shun to cheer me- it
won't be my fust tizzle,
Fust fzzes are what try n phellow; If he
kan manage one of them and not all leak
out, there is hope for him, aud also
slight sprinkling of salvashun.
What hav saw Of Boston suits me. -
The people are MS gentle Ms lambs, and
know stranger the minitt they git their
eyes on him.
Nobody hero is in too much of hurry
to be civil. If you hev lost yuro hotel
the first man you meet will waste hours
telling you of the different crooks yu must
take to reach it, and finally konklude the
safest way to tell yu how to get tbare is to
drop. everything and GO with yu
Boston is the ezyest place tew git lost in
with all its morality that have verified
You kan git lost and not kno it till hour
aiterward.
There don't seem tew be emmy streets
what run parallel. They all seem tew run
where they pleze, and every street has got
ut least one end to it, that brings up IN
somebody's door-yard.
To learn Boston one should be born acre.
or least serve I'm apprenticeship here ior Al ,
or so years
principally celebrated 0ustnow)
for its CRATE temperance question.
Whskee IN ms aktual skass here, as hair
on the he'd Of mi cane.
i haven't dared to ask the question for
fear of being arrested, but don't suppose,
AZ near as / kan Judge, that thare IL square
drink of corn whiskee within six miles OF
the city OF Boston, for sale or to let, What
on earth the people live on for drink is
mystery to me-
Virtew and morality are the two staple
krops in Boston. This afternoon am 60
ing to be invited out TO ride on the mill
dam, piece of fast read near the city,
which is built in q strait line to avoid the b
unworthy appearance of trotting track.
Bunker hill Is not fur oph, and am
teazed to stay over tomorrow and visit it,
but allus made it n rale, the quicker kan
leave a town, after have spoke ono of mi
lekturs, and got mi money for it, the more
pleaZant it il tor mi friends 10 entertain mo.
Plymouth rok is likewise sumware in
these adjacent parts would like to 90
and stan on 1.-THE man who kan stan ON
Pllmouth rok and not puff up sum is q
stony kuss.
Such man probably never had emmy
fouriathers nor emmy sonl, nor emmy giz-
gard, nor emmy fewter prospects in him,
spent two hours just after breakfast in
the common, which is an uncommon fine
piece of yetitable land, inhabited with
grand elms, and lit up day by day with hap
py children.
If had boy that wanted tew elevate
in the way he should go the most, i would
not undertake the job myself but would
take oph tho halter and turn him out loose
in the city of Boston.
1t has been sed 10y one of her historians.
"that man once born in Boston don hav
tew be born agn." If this is really 30 il
is great saving.
Relicks are very cheap just now in Boa
ton, ] was offered hemlock board ten
feet long, eight inches wide and an inch in
depth, taken in one piece from the CRATE
Colsseum, for the miserable pittaAce OF
SO SO.
1t was dorg 81 sage cheap, bu, it was
two dollars more money than had, and
more hemlok board than stood in need OF.
Brains il the chief artikle of consump-
ton in Boston Almos everything else il
negekted. and tho this IL IA sublime idear,
the consequence is that great deal OF
natural genius Is neglected, and the city IL
a leetle overlooked with morbid taylors
and languid mantau-makers.
There is one thing that / love and 70
spekt Boston for she lets her dead sleep
in old graveyards all about the city.
konsider mans bones fust mortgage
on land, that no process but the summons
Of Gabriel's horn kan remove.
How TO Go TO BED IN FREEZING WINTER
TINE. Do it in a hurry if there is no fire
in the room, and there ought not to be IN.
less you are an invalid
But if person is not in good health il
Is best to undressby good fire; warm and
Try the feet well, draw on the stockings
gam; run into the room without fire. Jump
nto bed, cudde up, with head and ears I'M
Ter cover for minute or more until You
EEL little warmth; then uncover your
lead; next draw off your stockings, straight
en- out, turn over on your right side, and
20 to sleep.
II n sense OF chilliness comes over You
IN getting into bed il will always do an in
my, and repetition increases the i'll effects
without having any tendency to harden"
you. Nature abhors violence. We are
lever shocked into health. Hard usage
makes no garments last longer. DR.. Hall.
In To faarad iba Ior;s;ooa $685.. -.