Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-05-05
WIT AND HUMoH.

!. Democracy: Shoe, Fly, DOM bod
der Hle!,z-D Detyoit Tribune.
It1houris in fact "wheat ground"
why should it not be entered as
real estate?
! WhS-'fs the letter L like an
r ~pisland? 1t is in the midst. Of the
sea. 49, ,
r." What is pride my son1 IT,
1''W alking with cane when you
amt lame,' replied the intelligent
boy.
Why is the letter II Of more value
than cream to dairy maid1 Be.
cause it makes "better" butter"
There is a man out west who
believes that Hon. placed before
a mans name stands for honest.
An Irishman tells of fight in
which there was but one whole
nose left in the crowd, "and that
belonged to the tay kettle"
A person who had been listen
ing to very dull address, remarked
that everything "went of well, es-
4 pecialIy the audience"
At what time of life may q man
be said to belong to the vegetable
kingdom? When long experience
has made him sage.
A clergyman who had been ac-
cused Of preaching long sermons,
excused himself on the ground that
the church was large one.
Some say the quickest way Of
destroying "weeds" is to marry q
widow. II is no doubt a most
agreeable species of husbandry.
After a wedding, it was former
ly the custom to drink honey, dis
solved in water, for thirty days,
moons ags. Hence the origin of
the honeymoon.
The man who sent us "ffteen
thousand dollars in good wishes"
will be indignant to learn that q
butcher refused quarter of NUT
| ton for them.
What is the difference between
a mischievous mouse and a beauti-
ful young lady? One harms the
cheese and the other charms the
he's.
The new York express gives
this rule for testing a Christian -
Set him to putting up old un-
matched stove-pipe, and keep him
at it an hour. If he don't swear,
he's seasoned"
Judy knows a man who got two
black eyes in endeavoring to find
out 1.-THE difference between man
and woman fighting in the street"
/ During the late rains an Alaba-
ma river raised to the gentle height
of fifty eight feet above low water
mark. Bottom land must have
been slow" about that time.
A parishioner inquired of his
pastor the meaning of this line Of
scripture: "He was clothed with
curses as with a garment" sit
signifies" replied the divine, "that
the individual had got bad habit
Of swearing"
When Daniel Webster was a
young man, about commencing the
study of law, he was advised not
to enter the legal profession, for it
was already crowded. His reply
was, There Is room enough at
the top"
All the lines of horse cars are
successful. They necessarily do a
driving business, and the profits
are always fare. Passengers have
numerous complaints oflOng stand
ing, which may deserve attention,
but although great many are Ia
ken in daily, it is usually at the
rear platform, and therefore justi-
fable.
A Michigan couple concluded to
dissolve, and the husband sent a
copy of the agreement with this
note explanatory; "This agree
ment has been maid and draud up
5etwixt my Self and my Wife and
! | doant now whether 1t is a COrden
to law or Knot and | want you
Sod record it if it is lawful and If
! it is knot draw won that is.
The G iffin, Ga, Star says Of
that State: "As she was among
the first to go out Of the Union, so
she is the last 10 get back. Hur-
rah for old Georgia the only sur
viving member of the old Confed-
eracy!"
"Why do you call me birdie, my
dear?" inquired wife of her hus-
band. "Because," was the answer,
YOU are always associated in my
mind with a bill"
A fashionable lady said going
out of church: "What powerful
sermon! ] was never befoLe so
impressed with the duty and priyi-
lege of giving freely, l am deter.
mined to do better, and to send
this very week, another new silk
dress to my daugeter."
A woman's rights advocate in.
sists that divorced women have a
right to vote under the Fifteenth
Amendment, which provides that
the right of suffrage shall not be
denied or abridged on account Of
rncn color. or 0nreViOus condition