Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1870-08-06
Getting Sewed Up.

How Tom Benaen fired Joe Thomson
on his 0edding night.
Joe " as abou, the NEST fancy dressed
chap IN iown-over nice and particulars
perfect Miss Nancy IN manner. always
putting on airs. and more dainty snd
modest ,han a gil. We'll, when 3his
wedding night came be was dressed,
trunk empty, and his pants, especially
fitted him as il they had been moulds and
his legs candles, snd run into ihcm.
Tight was no name for them. Their seat
; was immense. aud he Was Proudcr ihsn
a half dozen pescOcAs.
Aren't ,hey nice, boys = he asked
OF The Two who were 10 be groomsmen.
and see that he threw hlnself away IN
the most approved fashion.
Stunning Gorgeous !! replied Tenn
Bennett. Never saw anything equal 10
them. Bu, lsay, Joe, sren't they JusI
the least bit ughI! II strikes me that you
will have some difficulty IN bending, won't
you p
"Pshaw. no they are as easy as an
old glove see -
To prove the matter he bent down 50
as 10 touch his patent feathers when
crack crack followed like tie twin re-
port of a revolver.
Thunder :" exclaimed Joe, as ae
clasped his hands behind and found rent
in lhe cashmere from stem 10 stern.
Thunder the pants have burst and what
shall do !!
Il should think they had answered
Tom geIling purple IN The face as he en-
deayored TO control lis laughter. Bot
there is no time 10 get another par IL
only wants hall an hour 10 the stand Up
,ime and We have a mile TO 60. Carriage
waiting, too.
"Whal shal do What shsII | do =
"lII tell you What, Joe. II nine would
fl and ou should have them welcome.
but they are a mile too big. scc no
way but to have them mcnded.
Who can got to DO II, Tom :
Well am somthIng OF isIlor "nd
can fix them so that they won't show.
Hold on a minute and I'll get needle
and thread.
Can YOU May heaven bless YOU
.OT with your coat, commanded Tom.
as came back. Now lay yourself over
on the bed anj | will fix you IN short
order
The command was obeycd-the pants
mended-,hc coat tails carefully pinned
/ over, sol a. TO conceal the distress Tor
/ rent and all went merry as mNrrisso
bell. until Joe followed hls blushIng BRIDE
to the nuprial couch.
There was only dim light IN room,
/ bu, If enabled Joe, az he glsnced blush.
! fully around, to zee ;he sweetest face IN
the world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips,
the lovely and loving blue eyes. and the
golden curls just preplug out from The
snowy sheets, aud he cXungulshed n al
together, snd FASTENED to dI-robc him
self. Oh came coat vest, fancy nockiIc
and collar, boot, aud socks, IN a hurry
but somehow the pants stuck. The
more he tried. tie more they woudn {
come, and no Iugged valny Tor half an
hour
Thunder = murdered Joe.
What is the matlcr, dear : came IN
the sollss, accents from ito bed, whore
somebody was wondering what II W"
that annoyed bin.
|, was moment Of desperation. Joe
was entirely overcome by ,ho situation.
aud forgetting hls ba'hiulness, blur'ed
out:
Molly, Ihst cursed Ton Bennett has
sewed my pants, drawers, shrI aud un'
der.shir, all together!
81, is 100 bad. Wal. momenI.
dear"
A lulo slocklngles' foot first peeped
oul, then rullleG night dfes', the lamp
was lighted. pair Of scissors lonnd and
Joe released, mentally yowlng that II ho
ever go, an opportunity lie would pay
his friend Tom back with interest for the
Joke he had played on him.
A CATTLE EPDEsIC.-Ibe people Of