Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1870-01-15
How the Government IL "Run."

How the Government IL "Kun."
The Cleveland Plai~dealer gives the
following insight into how the Grant fam
lily manage the rcius of government: "'
Cal. Thomas, late Postmaster at Cincin-
natl, is the author ofsome of the best Jokes
going the rounds of social circles There
are some stories in which hs figures most
prominently, which, however do not have
a very general circulation. Among these
is an account Of visit he paid the ycner-
able Jesse, father of our President, lust
after the inauguration Of the T"greatest
hero of modern times" and before he had
been deprived Of his official hold on the
Treasury. As this story is true, and can
be attested by any number Of competent
witnesses on either side of the Ohio, We
propose to tell II, regardless of the eonsc--
quenccs, and with . sublime indifference
to the wishes of our Ulysses and his pa.
Cal. had heard that one Thomas IL.
Foulds, citizen of Kentucky, ncighbor
of the Grants, and'a bankrupt business
man, had the promise of the Cincinnati
Post Office, and he concluded that he
would go over the river and pay his re-
spects to tho father of the President, GER
cmony he had before neglected to per-
form, with an indifference that would
shock any conscientious politician. Why
CAL has been so unmindful of hir inter-
csts-how he, being good looking wild
over, had so long remained indifferent to
the charms of Miss Jennie Grant, and al
lowed Corbin To carry off the prize, is more
than we arc able to explain, nor does that
really belong to the story. Cal. found the
venerable Jesse 10 a dingy room in the rear
Of the Post-O Oficc-thc place where postal
blanks are sigucd -. II. G., p. NJ" sit
ting crouched over a rickety old table. He
took off his hat and made a very deferen-
tial bow, but the father Of the Grants took
no notice of him. He cleared his throat,
and in his blandest tones addressed the
venerable figure in the chair, but without
attracting the least notice. Jesse has
way Of not seeing or hearing when he does
not want to, which quality in his son is
styled genius, 80 marvellous arc the favors
of fortune. Thomas now became faint
hearted, when just as he was about to fec
from 80 much dignity, tho clerk Of the Post.
Office addressed his chief: ,...;.. M. :
"Mr. Grant, this is, Mr.. Thomas, Post
master Of Cincinnati" ''' :
Jessec--Ah! have cheer, have cheer.
Glad to 10 yer. Yer we'll, amt YET I
haven't been since I got that pesky fall at
the Capitol. I was dOvn't Washington at
the Inauguration Of 'Lysses-Jenhie and
me; the General would have it 30. Well;
what can I do for YET .....d.a. 49,,
Calvin-I have called 10, Mr., Grant, to
talk with you about the Cincinnati Post
Office, having seen notice in the papers
that the President proposed to turn me out, ?
and .....,,,, az, -...,,,,c,c, i.aan.;
Jcsse-Oh! it aiu't anything agin you
personal. But, you sec, Jennie is very,
intimate with the Foulds, who arc neigh
bors Of ourn, and she and the General
fixed up that little matter several months
ago.
GCalvin-But, Mr.. Grant, l have had tho
office only two years did not seek the
Office, and our people are 7desirous for me-
to keep it. I believe they have pretty
generally given expression to the opinion
that there ought to be- no change. Re-,
publicsns and Democrats have Joined id d
statement to that effect. Don't you thiak
the President could be induced to recon-
slider the matter? -, .t.q.. ,,..,,,,s.: ,.,..i
/ Jesse-Wcll, you see, you are one Of
Johnson's men, and the General, he fit in
a hundrcd3 wars in fivo year. and he is
bound that all the 'copperheads-all of
them fellers who made trouble 1t home
while he was in front a fighting, aud all
who turned with Johnson -shall go out Of
Office, ofacae and a.ua their places be illed with loyal
men. ~
CALVIN But, Mr.. Craft, Tn q Ropubiii--
can, aud was . Union man during the war,
and it seems TINT lido not oomefunder the
title Of the condemned. ,solsas,efi qa,sgr.
Jessie-Oh, / assure yoS it Ant any
thing agin you perspQl but you sec that
Jennie, and Ulysses fixed that up with Mrs.
= Fculds l some s',ldH time .so, and the General,
Calvin (interrupting) g)-Thsn, after all,
this seems TO be merely 4 neighborly ar
rangsment, and the President b going TO
vindicate the policy you have iadicated by
turning mo, . consistent .Republicau, out,
and keeping in General Hiokenloopor, who
Johnsonised and joined the Pendleton
escott last year Gsii;-l o.l '
Jesse-But Hickenlooper fought with
the General, and he's. sorry now he ever
had ANYTHING To do with johnson or Sey-
mour. And, Mr.. Thomas, l assure you
it amt anything personal; only, you see,
Ulysses, he At i hundred wars in i've year.
and he's goiH to clear oat III these scounl
drels who didn't stand by him and the
Government. .Yaaa.1. aB1g gl ,g1g.jas
BY this time the ACiaoiunati Postmaster
was icosyinced ,ythat hs could make moth
ing, ,fas himself iost Of ths father efallthel
Grants, and 50 be sought 70 do,a, kindposs
for his friend Samuel NJ. Penn, Special
Agent of the Post Office Department. The
sss.s7.