The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1870-01-07
'.sAaaiorals Column.
OLD ageafather makes graceless sin.
ners incorrigible than tends to their re.

OLD ageofather makes graceless sin.
ners incorrigible than tends to their re.
P'Vseeis:&GI G.oal E.Agla1 igara. GA,
Lz,n.WHY don't you ask your sweet
heart to marry you?" l have asked
he" "What did She sayg" "oh, i've
the fefosal of fier,"a~ std5 ay.il.i
E 'Jcsn BILLINGS says that IL man
proposes to serve the Lord, he likes to
see him do 1t when he measures corn as
well as when he hollers glory hallalu.
yer. -,
A YOUNG lady went into Music
Stofe, the other day, and asked for "fe-
Isline iintestines fer lyrical purposes"
She wasaccomodated with cat-gut gull
tar strings:a 20 SuNuiri b3rc'uu5yl
A good de6nition---A little girl in
school gave as definition of "bearing
false witness against your neighbor"
that ut was when nobody did nothing
and somebody wentand told oft"
10 eAiWfscoNsIN paper having exulted
over the fact ofits coming out in a new
dress, a rival sheet remarks "In this,
aassjn everything else, they are an age
behind our office, which was supplied
With new material years ago"
ABSENCE OF MrND.-We saw a ven.
cradle looking COW eating pine saw
dust under the impression that it was
bran. She didn't find out her mistake
till night, when it was found that she
p 10 ~ 49,
LITTLE three year old Mary was play
ing very roughly with the kitten, car
ryiug it by the tail. Her mother told
her that she would hurt pussy. "Why
mol wdn't,p said she," carrying it
by the handle." .,- .-.-.t
An exhOrter at a revival meeting be-
came rather indignant because BROTH
er was his superior in prayer and said:
"Brothel Ives can sing and pray; but,
blythe blessing of God there's one thing
. can beat him in--I can fiddle his shirt
oh."a .sacu..u, ,i.4.g l
~ A. NERVOUS old wag, who thought he
was dying,was assured by his nurse that
he would not die so long as his feet
were warm, such a thing was never
heard of. "But have heard of man
who died with very warm feet.n
"Who was he2n inquired the nurse.
John Rogers" !" replied the wit.
j. A LADY in Louisville, KY, was rob.
bed by fellow who secreted himself in
her chamber until she had retired. The
box containing her jewelry and that
containing her rouge were just alike
and the thief took the wrong box. She
looked pale on discovering her loss, but
her color came again the next day.
he THE New York Herald has start.
ling account of a suicide. 1t says, she
laid himself down, and with his big
toe shot himself" The New England
Farmer thinks toe a curious instru.
nent with which to commit suicide
and suggests that it was probably "load.
ed with nails"
j.. A CLERGYMAN, who was copsoling
young widow on the death of her hus-
band spoke in very serious tone, re-
marking that he was such 'Jewel ofa
Christian-you cannot find his equal,
you well KIN ow." To which the sob.
bing one replied, with an almost brok-
en- heart, ''I4f-bet / will"
"DAnafe,u said sable orator, 1.-TWO
roads through this world. De one am
q broad and narrow road dat leads to
perdition, and de other am a narrow
and broad road dat leads to sure destruc.
tion. " ''1If dat am de case," said a sa-
BILE hearer, "dIs culludindividusi takes
toTde woods.'' %'-'
A CoUNTRYMAN who had never paid
more than twenty-five cents to see an
exhibition. went to view the Forty
Thieves The ticket seller charged
him seyepty-fiye cents, for ticket
Passing the pastehoard back, he quiet
ly remark ed: Keep it, mister, don't
want to see the other thirty.nine,' and
out he marched.
IA TRAVELLER on one of the West
ern steamboats, recently, was landed
near his home, and as the boat was
aboutto leayehe bawled out
m,ss;na horo % ~ 'eie 'on'e''''s
"wbst ~ - i,ou aa,.o,,.o
"Hang mo if 80 oan ,ne nnao,,pa. captain.
said the tra,o,,.. .na. @ .eoo.''.' now,
INV t,,,rks hnxas 49, is a'"eie al
tbmdarI i,,s M, NE o | us'' an, ano-oh
that .orel asleen ~ az a"i'i.,1 M .ie eai,
there was 'sonaethins o,se !" A"e"
~. ! ~ - ~ -. e :, -
a NOVEL GOOSE RAoE,-The Omaha
ttepeottepn has the following account OF
a'goose race" that came of in that city.
over 2'ooo-People gathered on the
oanks above the pond, and along the
lower end oil Earnham street. on yes-
tefQay afternoon, to witness Bob Hart