The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-09-18
forming Star ard Catholic Messenger.
NV ORLEANS. SUNDAY. sKPrEMBER IS, 1870
WIT AND w1sDoM.


4. The war spirit is SO reused in France
ashat printers cannot be found to do piece
york.
Will you demonstrate your agility in a
Nhlri !" Ia the way they ask 'em to dance
Ut Saratoga.
There is poor fellow at Bangor, Maine,
that's killing me-"
A vineger-hearted old bachelor says he
always looks under the head of Marriage"
Tor the news of the weak.
Boy, Have paper I" Man, ono, sir"
Boy cloud, to Jim), "Say, Jim, don't you
pity those follows as can't readf"
See here, mister" said lad who was
! freed by dog, "if you don't take that dog
4 away, I'll eat up all your apples"
"Oh, mommy, that was abominable in
you to eat your little sisters share of the
cake" Why" said Tommy, t'didn't you |
tell me, ma, that was always to take her |
part Z"
A Paris physician writes to ask the re-
newal of note which he owes, giving as
reason therefor: " We are in horrible
crisis: There is not q sick man in the dis
8 trict."
The colored servant of Miss Minnie Bra
!, bury, Of Marshall county, Ind. who is
studying for the ministry, says, Missus
brays berry well at present, but she'll do
better presently"
The Boston Transcript says that it was
once said of q Boston money-lender, that
/ he kept the trunk containing his securities
near the head of his bed, and lay'awake to
hear them draw interest.
ST can't speak in public; never did such
q thing in my life" said q man the other.
night at public meeting, who had been
called upon to hold forth, but if anybody
in the crowd will speak for me, I'll hold
his hat"
A gallant was lately sitting beside his be-
loved, and being unable to think Of any
thing better to say, asked her why she was
like tailor. 81 don't know" said she
with pouting lip, unless it is because
Pm sitting beside a goose"
"Father," said young hopeful, appa
rently rejecting intently upon something,
81 shan't send you any of my wedding
son I" was the fond fathers inquiry. "Be-
cause" said the young hopeful, "you didn't
send me any of yours"
gentleman by the name of Pepper had
been thrown several times from spirited
horse, and was relating the circumstance to
friend, at the same time observing he
had never given his horse a name.
think" observed his friend, "you should
call him " Pepper castor"
A Philadelphia carter says of a district
through which he drives, " If you run over
youngster in this ward, the folks done
say anything, 'kase they've got more chill.
dren than whites for 'em but just rur
over q goat or pig, and blast me II q mot
amt after you in two minutes"
An Oxford student Joined without invi
tation q party dining at an inn, after which
he boasted so much of his abilities that on,
of the party said, +" You have told us o
what you can do; tell us something 20.
cannot do" "Indeed," said he, ~ canno
eIo 49, ho oh
A Paris banker received from Berlin
banker q remittance of 44OOO, and alette
thus worded: The other $4,000 will b'
due next month shall bring it with ou
troops myself" He received as good a
he sent in this reply: 81 will endeavor t.
ameliorate your captivity by all the mean
in my power"
Madame de stael was a, pitiless talker
Some gentlemen, who wished to teach he
q lesson, introduced a person to her whom
: they said was a very learned man. She re
ceived him graciously, but eager to pro
duce an impression, began to talk away
and asked thousand questions, so en-
crossed with herself that she did not no
tice that her visitor made no reply. Whe'
the visit was over the gentlemen aske'
Madame de Stael how she liked thei
friend. "A most delightful man." was th
reply. "What wit and learning!" Her
the laugh came in-the visitor was deaf an
dumb.
During the trial of a case in Louisvill
recently, a witness persisted in testifyln
to what his wife told him. To this, {
course, the attorney objected, and it wa
ruled out by the judge. He would procee
to tell "shust how it .yas," when the attoI
ney would sing out, allow do you kno
that IN "Mine wife told me-" was the al
swer. This was repeated several time
Presently the judge, being unable to cor
tain himself longer, said, Suppose You
wife were to tell you the heavens had fail
en-, what would you think 7" "Fell, de-
drinks dey wos down."
We had thought that human ingenuit
was long ago exhausted in making al
phrases to describe the parsimony of tn
GLASS of men who never pretend to an
other service than that of mammon bl
! the language of friend of ours applied
old Pinchem outdoes anything of the klr
we ever heard or read. "The very meal
est man in the city, sir" said he eyes. tt
meanest man in the country-in the who
world! He is perfectly miserable In tn
d life because he can't make some none
every minute of 1t but he'll never die, +
he's bound to save his funeral expenses"
n Parish clerks are proverbial for the
" mistakes, but would back old Lee, (sa
an old resident of a country. villagel again
IA anv one of the fraternity. Though XII
E hearted fellow, he used to declare regular
~ that he was become ga lion to his mother
"a children.D instead of an alien. On one o
Mr. A