The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1870-03-12

Australia, skilled in staples and scab and similar
sheepish lore, now for the first time in his lite placer
by the two knowing ones on terms OF the most per-
feet equality with a sfupendOEs position, and power
conferred to pass his IS blessed word =" that the Job
was n job as 1c0s n jobnand "Please TO pay
accordingly was the order received at the mOine
Department. Lucky genii of the lesser order! Three
days after the advent of this good shepherd came u
dandifed young Nor wester, frolicking along That
way, and espying an unusual and queer-looklng
excrescence hereabOuts at our feet, cooked ms eye
glass thereat, and giving the construction o con-
temptuous kick, passed on, humming n wild air,
leaving Of this baseless fabric not a tordcf behind
no, sir, not n Jack-straw nor q three-penny NAL :
So also did our Archinedian Excellency once on u
time conceive n stone bridge across the Wailukn
River, {" on terms of perfect EQUALITY" with London
or any other mans bridge, and incontinently makes
requisition on man Friday for drGwtngs, Ia real gun
of theirs are these same drawings, which L think
usually turn out heavy droffs- excuse me.) FUR
nished with these, a big letter A" On Service bear
ing outside evidence of meaning something, comes
Hilo-ward with no end Of regulation powder (such
as their yaliances of the Home Guard never sineh(
and slow fuse and so with flourish Of drills and
suffering of rocks the inferior genii begin their
spiriting. And so with much mortar and many
cords of p0hOehte, they stick up n ten-pin, or
something very like it, in the centre Of the
river, that serene and placid river, ankle deep
in places, (always. of course,) TO the admiTa-
ton of all passers-by, whilst the sun shone pleas
antly, the river rippled unsteady, and, as Tennyson
sings, Mcrrily rang the bells" But one unlucky
night, whilst all the unconscious GEM slept, "a SotJ
Hilo storm rose like an evil-mindc1 ghost, and the
winds blew, and the floods came, (totally unexpected
I'm sure,) and beat against that ten-pin, and IT fell,
and the next morning the primitive rock on which
twas based had resumed its old familiar face, smooth
as n baby's chin
Now, sir, our Solons of the Constituencies being
about to assemble ON terms of perfect equality with
the Legislature of the u. s. A., the Parliament of
England. and the Bund, Tor whatever they call it,
of Vaderland. do you think there will be n man
among them all plucky enough. patriotic enough, or
foolish enough, to make any inquiries about all this
split milk o We wisdom men from the four winds
and the seven seas the Onus is upon you-loOk to il
-eid kekGhi, as the yernacular has it.
Our engineering coInrade Of jenkins the great
seems latterly TO have been exercised about getting u
new road. tapping the bursting exuberance of Hilo
City, and to lead up through forests and swamps
and the like, and then along the mountain side to-
wards and TO Kawaihae on the other side, and he
has been calling for surveys and drawings and the
like, (and paying for them like Il man, } and he has,
as | learn, started some of his own familiar friends
in whom he trusted mt Koholalele. even the pair Of
enterprising genii of that lost cause, with n matter
Of some $500, to make a beginning, trusting to
Providence and n ~plethoric Legislature for the bal
ance. a very fine project rs this road, certainly.
Fifty thousand dollars and no less might make it
safe for an honest wheelbarrow, and the travellers
who will keep its grass from growing are not yet
born. But the Hamakua farmers (of whom l think
there may be two remaining) will find that route
80 easy and pleasant in comparison with the
gulches " (and the Gazette writer might have added
: ana neglect J OF the lower so-called Government
Road. an old friend of ours. who gives n dirty keep
sake to everybody who makes his acquaintance.
Now this kind proposition for the Hamakua farmers
is something like recommending a route from Homo
lulu to Waikiki by way of KoolaupOko, and one can
conceive the heaps of produce that will travel by
such a sensible circumbendibus, more especially rs
we all know that three legs of mutton and u peck of
potatoes will any day glut the Hilo market.
If there be a desire to do Hilo simple justice, let
that Slough of Despond already called a road, be
drained and made q road in fact, whereOn the future
traveller may sing praises. Hamakua wants 10 bring
a few things to the plantations, where markets to IL
small extent exist but whilst pigs are smothered in
mud, and horses have TO be dug out of ~quagmires,
and Deputy Sheriffs fall through rotten bridges,
they are naturally shy of il.
II, however, His enterprising Excellency persists
in carrying out lin bridge and harbor fashiOns) this
mountain folly, for folly it is at present, then ] think
that the two honest gentlemen who are even now in
process of b~egetting constituents, may fairly venture
to ask him, on terms Of the most perfect equality,
(f he has paid his taxes.) what he means by it.
Yours, truly, ..