The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1870-01-21
A Cheerful Wedding Party.


Solemnity is as natural to Boston as
to mausoleum. The Commercial Bul-
let", of that city, which lightens the
facts of finance with occasional CLEANS
of humor, is responsible for the fol-
lowing account of a particularly cheer
full marriage which took place in that
neighborhood lately:
Thore is Il "meiancholy interest, in
little affair that actually occurred
not thousand miles from Boston q
short time since. A wellknown clor-
gyman received an imperative sum-
mons to be in attendance to perform
the ceremony" at the residence of an
equally well-known undertaken, in the
evening. lie went accordingly, sup
posing, of course, that he was to ac-
company the man of grief to house
OF mourning, but was greatly disap-
o intod upon finding the house (ovcr
tho shop) brilliantly lighted and filled
with guests, whom tho undertaken
proceeded to introduce as fellows ::
"rhis is my intended wife, Sir, Miss
Grape. shall marry her tonight, if
you'll dictate" "Ccrtainly," said tho
Clergyman, somewhat amused "and
those are your friends to witness the
ceremony 2" looking around at the
crowded apartment. "Oh yes, YOU
know many Of theni-allow me-this
is Ir.Boncs, sexton of St. Charles
Church." Dir. Bones rose and heavod
hundred-dollar funeral sigh as he
bowed to the minister. "Mr. Mould,
sexton of the brick chapel" Mould,
who had low-cut, white vest, largo
glossy white shirt bosom aud collar, a
pale face and sunken eye, which gave
the appearance of being "laid out" re-
piled to the clergyman's greeting with
the usual sad shake of the head he
had practised at funerals the past
twenty years.
'This," said the host, as an individ-
ual came up on tip-toe, with down
cast gaze, as if afraid of disturbing
the silence Of griefstricken family
sitting in the front parlor at a funeral
"this is Mr.. Black, tho undertaken; I
believe you've met before" Black
bowed and inclined his head sideways
as if he expected the minister to whis-
per some directions to him before pro.
ceeding with tho service.
"Allow me to make you acquainted
with Mr.. Stone, the sculptor" (stono
gripped the minister's hand as he
would a mallet. Ho was proprietor
Of "Stone's monumental work.")
Then followed an introduction to the
supcrintendents of two cemetaries, a
plate engraver and others more or less
contracted with tho grim business of
the host, who, after finishing introduc-
tons, announced himself ready for
the marriage ceremony.
',You don't mind standing here and
using this blackwalnut case for a to-
Bile, do you ?" said the bridegroom.
ut was too heavy to move; besides
it's too full Of shrouds and caps we
don't want to tumble"
The minister acquesced, and the
twain were duly united, after which
cake, wine and. conversation pcrvad-
ed the company. TIE clergyman con-
graduated the bridegroom upon his
bride. eyes" replied the happy man
"she's been my housekeeper some time
-nice woman-ain't afraid of dead
olks." "Ah, indeed" said the clergy
man, getting little chilly down along
his backbone in spite of himself, and
wishing to change the subject he re-
marked. "Any news today, Mr..
Tressells ?" .:News, no-that is, yes.
You remember Murker, who jump
ed overheard and drowned himself
from ferryboat last week 2" eyes"
well, they found him this morning
in ten feet of water, and paving stone
in his pockets" "Indeedr. eyes
we've got him up stairs, if you'd like
to see him p
Not knowing what would come
next, tho clergyman thought best to
take his departure, and did so with a
grave demeanor suited to the occa-