Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1870-03-04
OUR SPECTACLES.
By REV. T. DE WITT TALMAGE.

By REV. T. DE WITT TALMAGE.
j A man never looks more dighitied
than when he takes spectacle-cese
from his pocket, opens it, unfolds a
lens, sets 1t astride his nose. and
looks you in the eye. l have seen
audiences, ,overawed by such demon
stration, feeling that man who
could handle glasses in that way
must be equal to any thing. We have
known lady of plain face, who, by
placing an adornment oft this king on
the bridge of her nose, could give
an irresistible look, and by a glance
around the room would tranifx and
eat up the hearts of dozen old
bachelors. d.
There are men who, though they
never read word of Latin or Greek
have, by such facial appendage, been
made to look so classical, that the
momen they gaze on you,y quiver
as if you had been strucy by Sopho
cles or Jupiter. We strongly sus-
pect that pair of glasses on min
ister's nose would be worth to him
about three hundred and seventysix
dollars and forty two cents addition
al salary. Indeed, we have known
men who mad kept their parishes
quiet by this spectacular power. If
| Deacon Jones criticised, Or Mrs. Go
about gossipcd, the dominic would
! get them in range, shove his glasses
from the tip Of his nose close up to
his eyebrows, concenter all the mai
esty of his nature into a look that
consumed all opposition easier than
the burning glass ofArchimedes de-
voured the Roman ships.
But nearly all, young and old, near
sighted and far GIFTED, look through
spectacles. By reason of our pred
udices, ,or education, Or temperament,
things are apt to come to us magni-
fed, or lessened, Or distorted. We
all see thing diffierently-not so much
because our eyes are different,as be
cause the medium through which we
look is different.
Some Of us wear blue spectacles,
and consequently everything is blue.
Taking our position at Trinity
church, and looking down Wall st.
every thing is gloomy and depres
silg in financials, and looking up
broadway, every thing is horrible
in the fashions of the day. All is
wrong in churches, wrong in educa-
tion, wrong in society. An undi-
gested slice of corned-beef has Gov
cred up all the bright prospects of
the world. A drop of Vinegar has
extinguished star We understand
all the variations of a growl. What
makes the sunshine so dull, the foil
age so gloomy, men so heavy, and
the world SO dark +? Blue specta-
cles, my dear, -.-....--
| BLUE SPECTACLES!
An unwary young Inan came to
town. He buys elegant silk pocket
| handkerchiefs on Chatham street for
twelve cents, and diamonds at the
dollar store. He supposes that when
a play is advertised "for one night
only he will have but one. oppor-
tunity of seeing It, He takes green-
back with an x on it as sure sign
that it is ten dollars, not knowing
there are counterfeits. He takes
five shares of silver mining stock in
the company for developing the re
sources Of the moon. He supposes
that every man that dresses well is
gentleman. He goes to see the lions
not knowing that any of them will
bite, and that when people go to see
the lions, the lions sometimes come
oct TO see them. He has an idea
that fortunes lie thickly around,and
all he will have to do is to stoop
down and pick one up. Having been
brought up where the greatest dissi-
patton was blacksmith shop on a
rainy day, and where. the gold on the
wheat is never counterfeit, and buck
wheat fields never issue false stock,
and brooks are always "current,"
and ripe fall pipins are legal tender
and blossoms are honest when they
promise to pay, he was unprepared
to resist the allurements of city life.
a sharper has feeced him, an evil
companion has despoiled him, a po-
liceman's "billy'' has struck him on
the head, or p,ison's turnkey bids
him gruff 'good nightp' What got
him into all this trouble? Can any
moral optician inform us? Green
goggles, my dear, F.
GREEN GOGGLES.
Your neighbor's great idea in life
IS dollar; the second idea is dol
lar-making in all two dollars. The
smaller ideas are cents. Friendship
is with him a mere question of loss
aud gain. He will want your name
on his note. Every time he shakes
hands, he estimates the value of such
a greeting. He is down on Fourth
of Julys and Christmas days, be-
cause ON them you spend money in
stead of making it. He has reduced
every thing in life to vulgar frac
tions. He his been hunting all his
life for the cow that had the golden
calf. He has cut the Lords prayer
on the back of q three cent piece,
his only regret that he has spoiled
the piece. He has calculated how
much the interest would have been
on the widows sstwo mites'' if she
bad only kept them till now. He
thinks that the celestial city paved
with gold is d great waste of bullion.
No steel or bone eye glass would
fit the bridge of his nose, Through
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