The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-08-12

flannel. looking-thiug. about the sig
of big mcriuo potato, unioubtcdl.
awaits you. =s 49, =. - =. : -
II They will call it baby. Packc,
up with it you will find the first rea
50 squalls Of married s',ses-1.you ',ses can bet
?. Sd. Paregoria,AAd Soothing syr.
Fup, and catnip tea. ana'long flannel.
and diaper STUFF snd baby cnlie.lan d
! mere squalls--they will cems along,
!. too; in fact. will become just as much
at home in=tho hou seas dinner.
4th One Of the sc days, in ieaa.
'"Thc wee slna' hours ayont The twaP'--
you turn out again. This time you
arc found bare foot, distractsGly rock.
ing that baby back and forth, and
bobbiHg it up and down in 4 cane seat
chair; q sbiysrine, icy. disconsolats
sense Of dampness all about you; scat
hard, only q cotton shirt, or such a
matter, nearer than the bed to keep
you warm, roaring ,nusically As :
wild bull in slaughter-ysrl--,, 81
"We're coming, Father Abraham.
| Three hundred thousand more. J
Baby all tho time yelling like mad
with q bad pain, while Mary Ann, up
to her nose under the warm bed COW
ers, to help out, every now and then
impatiently puts in. just in the wrong
| place-"trot him faster. Samuel. -
And you trot him, oh how you do
trot him!T If you could only trot his
wind out so far that he could never
get any Of it back again, or break
his back, or neck, or something, you
would be UNNECESSARILY happy. @
But no. The little innocent is
tougher than an India rubber car
spriag. 81 Sse- ~..sa lss.: ens;a.
just as you are about giving up
concluding that you must freeze -
that there will certainly have to be
"a funeral in the house inside Of thirty
six hours, baby willis from sheer .sx- ,
hsustion. and then, with teeth chat.
,tering like Mccormick reaper, you
crawl ia BY Mary Ann again and try
to sleep. 70 IA - Hsj1f q 3 s3,L q.
9th. Gradually you glide away L
into . tangled maze Of cherry lips. 7
ice, May flowers. skating weather.
ehamomile, jockeye-club. slsigh.ridss
crinoline immense % tho old bell as
Moscow, Indian mbusesdes, CHG
mons like door mats. awful Greeian
bends, angels. snow-storms and forty
other cheerful remi miniscences.
9th. A snort, q thrash. . wild
throwing upward Of little arms and
legs, and then, keen and shrill, comes
that terrible ''Ah-waa !! 5Ah-waah!"
again. guess yoa wake up, don't
you?
''Get the paregorie and teaspoon
quick!' says Mary Ann. in . sharp.
staccato tone, and don't you get j: I
j In just three-eighths Of . second
you are . Grecian bend yourself out
there or'the cold floor, dropping par
egorio in . teaspoon. 4aa 7
Hurry! Oh, no; circumstances are
not such as to make you hurry any.
I Gracious little Peter, he IS des.
cribing diabolical curves with all the
arms and legs he's got, and screaming
loo pounds to the square inch, and
Mary Ann. she is rarcing around
there in the bed, making a rocking,
chair Of her back, and yelling bye.
bye, q, like = Wild Commanche on Is
the war,path-thatssll =
Nice, sin't it, 4.s ~. .s. .s
And then to think. that, as years
roll on, there has got to be more and
more Of just suoh distressed work.
7th. Then come the washing days
too. and the spring cleanings and
movings--when your books, and pa
pers. and custard pies, and carpets,
and plug bats, and molasses. and
feathers, and baby 6xings, and pam
cake batter all stirred up together;
when Mary Ann, dress tucked up,
handkerchief around her head, broom
in ono hand mop in the other, pretty
as cistern pole. temper searching
IS dose Of ipeoac, goes about hunt
ing spiders webs, and dirt, and
grease spots, and such things, while
Bridget, tho inevitable Bridget. slop-
ping soap suds all over everything.
brings up tho rear sss$ ses5i
9Th. Then there is that mother.
in-law Of yours, and the six or eight
female cousins. They have just come
over to visit l bit, and each one has
brought al her. trunks and band box.
es along. And that. too, when
you could 50 easily have spared al
but the mother in law.
! 9th. And 50 I might run on and
on. These things arc thickerin such
places than little stoads on . country
road after, summer thunder-shower.
You can't dodge them. They como
with married life just as sure as death
and taxes. =
Bad! Very bad, my friend. On.
II one condition in the world much
worse that I know Of. And that is :
{ I don't mind telling yor)-that ~
the single condition.
= afsa JEHIAL SLAB. t
Fanny Fern says she used to be-
1Snva ~ haomtv k,,t asncn than has