The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-01-14

G, JANUARY Ia, ls7O.s
Il VICES ABOUT TowN-IpLENEss.-0u Our OBJ
lseryant reporter, who sees all he ean and
notes oil he sees, is about to contribute q
series of his observations about vices about
town, which he proposes to treat in the fol
lowing order: 1dleness,, Drunkenness, and
Gambling. Here is what he says about
1dleness: ss;s Il.
.Idleness is o first-class vice. 1t is said
to have been invented in Greece. When
William q. Ulysses, Esq. left his home to
60 to the wars to meet Hon. N. Bonaparte,
or some other gentleman, he left Mrs. Ulys-
ses behind to take care of the family. Mrs.
Ulysses wanted to go with him, but Ulys.
| couldn't see it. So she staid behind When
the old gentleman had sailed far away, etc,
o party of frst-class buns = and loafers
visited Mrs. Ulysses. Their intentions were
not honest. They wanted. .to. enter as sub
stftutes in the Home Guard. The old lady
was true blue, though, and enchred them
thoroughly. They succeeded, however in
getting their board free for twenty years!
Then Mr.. Ulysses came home and perfo-
rated the whole crowd. This was the first
bad case of idleness on record, and it was
severely punished. These facts may be
doubted, but stick to my first assertion.
Idleness is first-class vice. 1t exists every
| where in general and nowhere in particular.
do not know single city where idleness
| the world. Each city wears the belt accord
pr RI 20 T n a.
which is entitled to it, but / do know that
in every city there are three principal
classes of idlers. The first of these is the
idler of means, who has stamps, and can
afford it. There are few of these here
abouts.. In the first place there are few
stamps, and in the second the men of means
are generally the busiest men ef all. For
instance: The truck-patch farmer of He'll
town, Hanover county, is not half as busy
man as the wealthy planter of Halifax.
No, not exactly. The latter is up at early
morn, and busy each hour of the day. The
former only works two months of the year.
He idles twelve. His crops consist of sun
dry pumpkins and cucumbers, two cart
loads of watermelons, two bushels of corn,
hog, and twelve children. The proceeds
of the watermelons are jug of whiskey
and pound of coffee. The latter support
the paterfamilias for the year the remain
der keeps up the rest of the family. He is
limited cuss, and will tell you to so to the
devil as readily as the wealthy planter will
invite you to partake of his hospitality. In
both cases the readiness is very ready. But
am getting off the track. The idlers who
loaf because they can afford it are few and
far between. AS they can hardly be of any
damage to the community, mentally or ma
terially, have nothing more to say about
them.
The next class of gentlemen of leisure ore
the genteel paupers. They take their hash
with their parents. They have good clothes,
no money, and plenty of impudence,
which, as Josh B. would say, sis the next
think to MUMMY" They are the set who
are described as living within their in
comes, and borrowing money to do it with.
They inhabit hotel Offices, and bar-rooms,
and rally around street corners variously.
They are some on free lunch, and never re-
fuse to drink when asked. If mans
chances for salvation were as slender as the
hope for no' from one Of these gentle
men, he would be an object of great pity.
| He would not do to tie to on the last day. |
knew one of them to invite party to take
drink one day. 1t created sensation.
The party hesitated between the affrma-
tive and negative, and the bar-keeper hung
out his gilded sign "No Credit" This
made the inviter wink, but he was too
much of a gentleman to 60 back on his
| word. Indeed was he. We all drank, and
turning around to me, he said, "Lend me q
dollar to pay for drinks, wont you ~
made the loan, and he has been haunting
me ever since with assurances that he hasn't
| forgot that dollar. am afraid he will pay
me. Ii he does he will borrow two the next
| day. So make o dollar by his present
Indebtedness. The money that is made off
of these gentlemen in this way is enough
to make one man rich. There are some of
these genteel loafers who have some money
besides their good clothes. AS reflect how
they get it, my lofty intellect totters, a red
velvet blush mantles my cheek, and am
almost ashamed of being a man. They
live by the wages of others's sins. The wages
of sin are death and United States curren-
Icy. But, as [ am getting off the subject, l
must 90 on to begin with the conclusion.
The cure for this class of idlers is the ex-
tract of elbow-grease administered in the
shape of axes, trcadles, pick-axes, hoes,
shovels, etc. If this won't do, q draught
of water sufficient to take all the breath
out of the body will be sure.
those who are afflicted with idleness, and
have neither money, clothes, nor impu-
dence, to recommend them. They are, in
deed, loathsome cusses. The greatest exer-
ton they ever allow themselves is the steal
ing of "purps." Sometimes they will go
to the trouble of stealing loaf of bread !;
but healthy, ood-looking "purp" is
very shaky property when they are about.
There are many other characteristics about
them which prove them to be the most
| troublesome class that can infest a commu-
| nity. I know of but one cure for them
Prussic acid in one wholesome draught.
| The patient will never be troubled after
wards. He will be furnished with q neat
but substantial box to sleep in, and six
feet Of ground, at the expense of the corpo-
ration.
To conclude, idleness, like oil other vices,
is the root of all evil. 1t is q vice which,
from the harm that it does humanity, and
the evident worthlessness that character
ICES it, is-that is to say it is, the root OF
oil evil. It shows itself in community as
wildly as grasshopper on O sweet potato
vine, and affects its general interests worse
than lottery policies, and in the course OF
human events it is-yes, / repeat it is
that is to-say, it is o frst-class vice.
| WARM WEATHER.-The weather being very
warm just now, persons In search Of winter cloth.
| Ing may expect great bargains. Z. b. SPENCE &
| Son have still many desirable goods on hanc