The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-03-24
YALLER DOGS.


When Noah disembarked at Ararat,
he had scarcely touched the pier when
he was surrounded by a swarm of vo-
ciferous hack drivers and hotel run
ners, who assailed him with, 2 run
ming fire of hotel statistics, and tu-
multi of offers to convey him and his
baggage to any part of the eity.-sNe-
ah was just man, but he couldn't
stand everything, and after, being
pulled and hauled for few moments,
his bewilderment gave way to wrath.
Placing his carpet bag between his
feet, he pulled off his coat, girded up
his loins with suspenders, and re-
marked 81 am man of grace, but
if any among ye eremaineth two min
utes, him will l chastise! You hear
mep Then the rabble puttheir heads
together, saying: "Verily, the old
man is "a knocker! Let us depart =
Golah !" and so departed. Then No
! ah proceeded to tally his, passenge%.
He has just checked his last item in
the list-a Mr.. and Mrs. Bedbug-and
his equanimity was partially restored
by the favorable exhibit, when his
wrath was renewed by the cringing
figure of a quadruped that came
sneaking down the gang plank with
his tail between his legs. Dart i'll
if there amt that yaller dogl" says
Noah, aiming vicious kick with his
brogan at the brute. But, with a fa-
cility born of long and bitter expert
ence, the brute lodged the projectile,
and calculating ki yi"-whfch. is
Syriac for "declined with thanks, 7 or
anot for Joe n-he dispersed; while
Noah, who had his sea legs on, was
unable to recover his equilibrium, and
sat down with emphasis on the back
of his head. His chagrin was aggra-
vated by Hams Intellectual effort to
suppress a smile at the performance
Ham never could suppress his smile
without going down cellar and smoth'
ering it in obscurity. He never was
cured of that copious smile until, in
the process of mummifcation, they
converted him into sugar coated
/ Ham. sal
} Noah arose, and, IN accordance will
: the style prevalent among patriarchs
he proceeded to socthe his afrontet
: dignity by pronouncing yariegatet
anathema upon the yaller dog, whicl
had characteristically sneaked unob
! served on board, in the confusion o
putting to sea, and had capsized tn,
captain at the first port. He {curset
the dog in body, limb, bark, hide, tai
and wag and all his generations, re
: lations and kindred by consanguinit.
: or affinity and his heirs and assigns
!; He cursed him with endless hunger
E with hopeless mango, with ineessan
: fieas, with perpetual fear, with peren
nial laziness, and with his tail betweel
n his legs, He closed out his. stock o
e maledictions by sparkling displa,
: of denunciatory pyrotechnies, fron
8 the demoralizing effect of which tn
j; yaller dog has never recovered. Wit
Il this curse sticking to him like asreye
O nue. stamp, the yaller dog can't he'll
q being " cussed. He follows Noah
programme with sneaking fidelity
He is an Ishmaelite among dogs. H
receives the most oppressive conrte
sizes, in the form of brickbats, boot
and hot water, which make his life a
animated target excursion He board
around like district school-teachel
d and it is meal-time with him twenty
7 four hours in the day. The rest 6
the time he bankers after somethin
! to eat. He is too tired. AS swi
's cart locomotive, q hunter, or a sent
K mel, he is an ignominious failure. Th
10 dog-churn was q strategic attempt
employ his waste energies; but h
= hadn't any waste energies, and butte
u had too much self-respect to "come
,e at his persuasion. So the dog-chur
,r was dropped. No sausage e-maker daI
a foreclose his lien over the yaller do.
:, lest his customers-no longer sootf
~ ed and sustained by an unfalterin
v trust in his "linked " sausage Ion
es drawn out transfer their patronae
n to some less audacions dealer. @ {
of The savages who admire bake
y dog, and who can even attack triI
IL and explore the mysteries of has
of without dismay, acknowledge the va
as ler dog to be too much for their ga
~ trio intrepidity. He always 'nanag,
I! to belong to q ragged, tobacco-chev
X ing, whisky y-drinking master, who.
n business is swapping dogs and evat
ig ing the dog tax. The yaller dog
no acquainted with himself, f,and he enjoy
= - the intimacy with edlfying contemp
III He sinks along through life, on a
2 agonal dog trot, as if in doubt as i
le which end of him is entitled to pr
!. cedence. He is always peryaded by
hang-dog sense of guilt, and whit
OF retributive tin-ware is fastened to Ii
as tail, he fees from the wrath
he come !" with Mortified celebrity whit
ID, ought to be very suggestive to tw'
- legged sinners of similar tin-Rai
" ordeal in store for them. an iltss & Z
SO The .yaller dog is-is-well, q
Nv speak In italics, he's slouch. i .als