The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1870-03-18
THE LAWYERS AND CATS.

Two Arkansas lawyers were domestica-
ted in the rude hotel of country town.
The hotel was crowded, and the room al
lotted to our heroes was also occupied by
six or eight Others. Shake-down beds,
enough to accommodate the guests, were
disposed about the room, against the four
walls, leaving an open space in the centre
of the apartment.
Judge Clark lay with his head to the
north, one side, and Judge Thomas lay
with his head to the south, on the other
side of the ROOM So far as the room was
concerned, it might be said that their heads
represented the north and south poles re-
spectiyely.
All the other beds in the room were &C.
cupied. The central part of the room was
deemed neutral ground, in which the &C.
cupants of the different beds had equal
rights. Here, in picturesque confusion, lay
the boots, hats, coats and brceches of the
sleepers. There were no windows, and
though the door was open, there being no
moon, the night was very dark in that
room.
The willy lawyers, who had been oppos-
ing counsel in case tried in the town
court that day, and had opposed each other
with the cohtumacy of wild pigs, were now
the very incarnation of meekness for when
the hungry swarm of mosquitoes settled
down and bit them on the one check,
they slowly turned the other to be bitten
also.
But hush harkn
A deep sound strikes the ear like rising
knell!
sYe-oW-oW y
Judge Clark and Thomas, were wide
awake, and sitting bolt upright in an in
slant.
Again the startling cry
Yow-ye-ow
There's id cat p whispered Clark.
Scat, your Kissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these demon
STATIONS, but gave vent to another yowk
%, Lord = cried Clark, Il caat stand
this! Where is she, Thomas2'
'On your side of the room somewhere,
replied Thomas.
%, she's on your side said Clark.
'Ye-ow-owew y
"There, 1 told you she was on your side,
they both exclaimed in breath.
And still the 'yowP went on.
The idea now entered the heads of both
the lawyers, that by the exercise of certain
strategy they might be enabled to execute
a certain flank movement on the cat, and
totally demeralize him. Practically each
determined to file a motion to quash' the
cats attachment for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself, and in the
dark, unable to see each other, prepared
for action.
Strange as it may appear it is neverthe-
less true, that the same plan suggested it
self to both. In words, the plan would be
about as follows:
The yowler is evidently looking and
calling for another cat with whom he has
made an appointment. will initiate a
cat, and this cat will think the other cats
around. This cat will come toward me,
and when he ehall have arrived within
reach, I'll blaze away with anything I can
get hold of and knock the mew-sic out of
him.
So each of the portly judges, noiselessly
as cream comes to the surface of the milk,
hosted himself on his hands and knees,
and, hippopotamus fashion, advanced to
the neutral ground occupying the central
portion of the room.
Arrived there, Judge Clark selected a
boot,jack, and Judge Thomas heavy cow
hide boot, from the heap, and settled them
selves down to the work.
Clark tightening his grip on the boot
jack, throwing up his head, gave vent to a
prolonged and unearthly 'Ye-ow-ow = that
would reflect credit upon ten of the largest
kind of cats.
'Ahan thought Thomas, who was not
six feet away, hes Immediately close
around. Now III invite him p and he gave
the regular dark night call of a feminine
cat.
Each of the Judges now advanced a
questioning 'Ow-ow
Thomas answered by a reassuring 'Pur-
wo purr and they advanced little more
They were now within easy reach, and
each imagining the cat had but moment
more to live, whaled away, the one with
his boot, the other with his boot jack.
The boot took Clark square in the mouth,
demolishing his teeth, and the bootjack
came down on Thomas head just as he was
in the midst of u triumphant 'Yew-ow "
When lights were brought the cat had
disappeared, but the catastrophe was in
opposite corners of the room, with heels
in the air, swearing blue streaks.