Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-07-15
HYALLEK DOKGS.D

When Noah disembarked at Ararat he
had scarcely touched the pier when he pro-
ceeded to tally his passengers. He had
ust checked his last item in the ist-Mr.
and Mrs. Bed ug-when the cringing figure
CT quadrnped came eaking down the
gang plank with his tail between his legs.
"Dra: it, if th,re amt that yaller dog !.
says Noah, aiming vicious kick with his
brogan at the brute.
But with a faculty born of long and bitter
experience, the brute lodged the projec,ie,
and calculating "kiyi," which is Syriac fer
declined with thanks or ''not for 10" be
disappeared, while Noah, who had his sea
legs on, was unable to recover his equllib-
rum, and >at down with emphasis on the
back ST his head.
Noah arose, and, in accordance with the
style prevalent among the patriarchs, he
proceeded to soothe his affronted dignity by
pronouncing a variegated anathema upon
the yaller dog, which had cbaracteristically
sneaked unobserved on board, in the contu
sion Of putting to sea. and capsized the cap
tain at the fest port. He cursed that dog
in body, limb, bark, hide, hair, tail and wag,
and ali his generations, relations and kin
dred, by consanguinity and affinity, and his
heirs and assigns. He cursed with endless
hunger, perpetual fear, with perennial lazi
ness, with hopeless mango, with incessant
feas, and with his tail between his legs He
closed his maledictions by a sparkling dis
play of pyrotechnics, from the demoralizing
effects of which the dog never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like
revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't help
being "cussed." He doni try to help it,
He follows Noah programme with sneaking
fidelity. lie is an Isb,aaeite among dogs.
He receives the most oppressive courtesies
in the way of brick bats, boots, aud bot wa
ter, which makes his life an animated tar
, get excursian.
He boards around like a district school
teacher, and it is meal time with him II
hours in the day. The rest of the time he
hankers after something 10 eat lie is too
omnivorous for an epicure. Cram him at
Delmorico's and he would hunger for des-
ser, at an Albany boarding house.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired.
AS swll cart locomotive. a hunter, or
sentinel, he is an ignomnious failure. The
dog churn was a strategic attempt to en-
10y his waste energies, but he hadn't any
waste energies, and butter had too much
<ef.respect TO ''come' at his persuasion.
SO lhe dog-churn was dropped.
No sausage maker dare toreclose his lien
on the yaler dog, lest his customers-no
longer "soo,hcd and sustained by an unfal-
,ering trust transfer their patronage 10
some less audacious dealer. The savages
who admire baked dog, and can even attack
tripe and explore the mysteries of hash
without cismay, acknowledged the yaler
dog too much for their gastric intrepid
ty.
He always manages to belong to a rag
ged, tobacco, chewing, hisky,diinkine mas
ter, whose business is swapping dogs and
evading the dog.ta The WALLER dog is ac-
ouan,ed with himself, and he erjoys the
intimacy with editying contempt. He sinks
along through life, on diagonal dog trot
as in doubt as to which end of him is enti-
tied to the precedence. He is always per-
vaded by hang-dog sense Of guilt, and
when retributive tinware is fastened to his
tail, he ''flies from the wrath to come with
horrifed celerilv which ought to be very
suggestive to two leg ed sinners of SINH
lar ordeal in store for them.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak in ltal
les, be is Il slouch.