Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-06-09
Che @eraId.
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

GONtA1 a luultlbuuC VI SlllS IilC oVb-
ond covers a multitude of sinners.
An Irishman, eating his first
green corn, handed the cob to the
waiter, and asked "Will We plaze
put some more banes upon me
sthiek.
"Gentlemen," said q conductor
brought before the terrible "Board"
Tor suspected pilfering, II am in
hocsnt Upon my honor | have
taken nothing but what was fire."
"John," asked a physician of the
apothecary's apprentice, "did Mrs.
Green get the medicine | ordered ?"
81 guess So" replied John, ''for !
saw Grape hanging on the door
knob this morning"
Young Gent--"I am going to
give the teacher a peice Of my
mind !"
Young Lady--"I would not, if .
were in your place; he has got all
he wants, and you hayn't any to
sparer
Hume and his wife, and several
of his children, were with Lamb
one day. Hume repeated the old
saying, "One fool makes many"
'Ay, Mr.. Hume said Lamb, ,poin ing
to the company you have a fine
family|
"When are you going to settle
this bill ?" "We've had settle
ment already" "When ?" "The
last time you called. Didn't | tell
you meant to settle the bill ?'--
yes" "Very well, then; wasn't
that a settlement"
- There is nothing like adyersi-
ty to bring man out-at the knees
and elbows.
- Never tell secrets in corn
field--just think of the ears
A very patient Georgia gentle
man, fond of making minute OBJ.
servations, timed the pace of
snail. 1t made seventy inches in
an hour.
A country exchange, in its fash =
ion report, says that the richest
dressed lady at recent fashiona
BILE party was the wife of man
who owed the editor thirteen dol
lars for seven years. 1
Two-thirds of the folks who 90
to church do so because it is fash
We wonder if the same pl,
cause will ever make an equal num- tn
Der become good?
A little six-year-old was walking n
with his father, and passing a 1
the child asked; "What
house is that 2" "That is the
Dutch Church" was the reply; Al
people go there be- -gSod, SO
that they may become angels. -
'Will there be Dutch angels, pa?"
A dentist presented a bill for the
enth time to rich skinAint. ut
strikes me-" said the latter, "that d
his is a pretty round bill" eyes" 8s
eplied the dentist, II have sent ii ~
ound often enough to make it APP
year so, and / have called now to M
lave it squared 5
"Why don't you wash the bot Z
ON of your feet, johnny" asked
grandmother of boy, when he -
yNs performing the operation be- VI
ore retiring for the night, to which
c very grayely replied, "Why,
ranny, you don't think Pm goin'
, stand up in bed, do you" r r
A notion seller was offering q and and
'ankee clock, finely vanished and o,.G g.
olored, with a looking glass in
ont, to lady not remarkable for
err personal beauty. "Why it's a
said the yender, "Beau \
fuI, indeed look at it almost N
ightens me-" SAID the lady W.,
Then, marm,' said Jonathan, 81
ink you had better take one that
ain'U got no looking glass"
- Don't depend upon your own
ngs alone, use the lungs Of the A
'ess. Ais
Don't depend alone upon your =
yn hands and the labor Of other :
ems hands; use steam power If Va
,ssible, and make it known by W
inter's ink that you are prepared RN
do business, Eva
Sell at small profits, for cash, and
AXE it known through the news poa
pers. Mon
- A lady made reference the NJ,
her day to Mr.. Bryants transia g,SyS f,,r.
IN Of Homer in the presence Of save
old lady, who suddenly remark Il ihe v
!, with a look Of wonder: "Why In Al
didn't knows this ever hut one -.
sides Enoch translated. | can't AH
ink Of his name now, but faint
omer, any way" MS
- Said a loving wife to her hus AV4
nd: "Will you never learn, my
ar, the difference between real
d exchangeable yNluey The hus.
nd, tired of political economists VIZ
petticoats, replied "Ah, yes, o0Mvn
y dear; / know your great learn tire
g and many virtues. That's your
al value. But know also that Ste
me Of my married friends would