Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-04-26
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS
The Ant.

inc mt
The ant is a menny footid insekt.
They live about one thousand five hun
dred and fifty of them (more or less) in
the same hole in the ground, and hold
their property In common.
They have no holy days, no eight-hour
system, nor never strike for emmy higher
wages. They are very cheerful little
toilers, and hay no malice, nor back door
TO their hearts.
There IL no sedentary lOafers among
them, and you never see one Ov Job.
They git up arly, go tew bed late, work
all the time, and eat on the run.
1u never see two ants aTgueiDg sum
phoolish question that neither of them
didn't understand; they didn't kare
whether the mooL il inhabited or not, nor
whether fish weighing two pounds, put
into pail ov water alreddy phull, will
make the pail slop over or weigh more.
They amt hunting after the philosO-
pliers stone, nor Citing crazy over the
cause of the sudden earthquakes.
They don't care whether Jupiter is
thirty or thirty-ive million of miles up in
the air, nor whether the earth hobs
around on IFS axes or not, so long as it
don't hob over their kOn crib and spill
their barley.
They are simple, little bizzy ants, full
ov faith, working hard, prudeatly, com
hitting no sin, prazeing God by minding
their own bizzness, and dieing when their
times comes, tew make room for the next
crop OV ants.
They are reproach tcw the ldzy an
encouragement tew the industrious, re-
buke tew the vicious, and a study tcw the
Christian.
If you want tcw take lesson in arki-
texture, go and set down bi the side of
their hole in the ground, and wonder how
so menny kan liv so thick.
If your pashuns need consolation,
watch the ants and be strengthened.
If man had added tew his capacity
the pashunes and grit of these atoms ov
animated natur every mountain on the
buZzum of the airth would, before this,
have been leveled, and every inch ov sur
face would scream with fruitfulness, and
countless of human critters would have
bin added tew the inhabitants Ov the uni
verse, anG bin fed on corn and other sass.
[ hev sot by the hour and half down
: near an anthill, and marvelled; hav won
dered at their instinkts, and hav thought
how big must be the jackass who was sat
isied to beleave that even an ant, the least
Ov the bugs, could hav been created, made
hizzy, and sot to work by chance.
Oh, how do pity the individual who
behaves that all things here are the work
ov an acksident. lie robs himself of all
plezzure on earth and all right in heaven.
| had rather be an ant (even humbly,
bandy-legged, profane, swearing anti than
TO look upon the things oV this world as
would upon the throw of the dice.
Ants are older than Adam.
Man Gor very wize reasons) warn't
built until all other things were finished
and pronounced good.
If a man had bin made fust, he would
nav insisted upon bossing the rest of the
job.
He probably would hav obiektcd TO
having emmy little bizzy aunts at all, and
various other objekshuns would hav bin
Offered, equally green.
am glad that man wuz the last thing
made.
If man hadn't have bin made at all,
you never would hay heard me find emmy
fault with it.
haven't much faith in man, not be-
kause he kant do well, but bekause he
wont
Ants have bye laws, and aconstitushun,
and they mean sumthing.
Their laws amt like our laws, made
with hole in them, SO that a man kan
steal boss and ride thru them on a
walk.
They don't hay any whisky ring, that
il virtewous, simply bekause it hooks
hi the millyun, and then legalizes its own
axis.
They don't hay emmy legislators that yu
kan buy, nor emmy judges layin around
on the half shell, ready to be swallered.
rather like The ants, and think now
shall sell out my money and real estate
and jine them.
| had rather jinC them than the bulls or
bears. like there morals better.
The bulls and bears handle more money,
it is true, and make a great deal more
noise in Wall street, one of EN- sticking
his horn into Il llab5y piece of Erie and
tossing it up into the air, and the other
ketching il when il come down and tramp
ling it under his paws.
This may be plum for the bulls and the
bears hut il IL wuss than the cholera
mOrbus for poor Erie.
Ants never disturb Erie; We couldn't
sell one cny Erie emmy more than you
could sell one skip on the Goldfish banks
of Newfoundland.
Ants are a honest, hard-tugging little
people, but whether they marry, and liv
in marriage, IL beyond my strength; but
if they don't they are no wusS oph than
they are out West (ncar the city of Chi
cago), where they marry to-day and apply
for an iniunkshun tomorrow, and are
reddy the next day to fife it out again on
some other line.
Wedlock out West (ncar the crate grain
mart, Chicago IL one of them kind oy
locks that almost emmy boldly ken pick
" y Weekly.