The Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1869-1872, 1870-02-19
A Tonno Court

..... ToASo, July l2, 1870.
EDITORS ISDEPESDEST.-An amusing trial
came of not thousand miles from here, n
few days ago which ought to be reported. 1t
happened in this way:
Our friend Dennis M, having taken IA
stroll about on several occasions, found him
self eventually minus n couple of watches.
He had no idea what became of watch No.
one, but No. two he found in the possession
Of one of the sweet sisters who represent the
Flowery Kingdom. The watch was given up
and apologies made. When Dennis came to
think over the matter be was certain that No.
one was also in Mongolian hands.
To be brief. Dennis swo ore fast and furiously
that he believed the barbarians had watch No.
one.
Well, we will suppose the accused arrested,
witnesses present, and case called for trial.
The CelestiAls had no counsel and had called
no witnesses. They seemed to be going it
blind" .'.. ...... .... .... ...........
Dennis M had secured the services of
our gushing young townsmnn, Dick Al,
hs counsel. The witnesses being sworn, Dick
made the statement TO the Court that il was
plainly evident that his client was perfectly
sober at the time Of losing his watches. The
Court reminded him that there was at pres
cnt no evidence before the Court, and that the
prosecuting witness had not been charged with
drunkenness. -0"'.
Dick then called Dennis as first witness:
20. Mr.. M. did you lose q watch some
time sincc?"
II did, lost two watches"
"Where did you lose those watchcs?'
81 lost them in China house"
Here Dick called on Pete - TO take the
stand as n witness:
"Did you see Mr.. NJ on the night he
lost his first watch?"
81 did, sir, the night watchman found Mr..
M living aSlppn wDD1Dilp the
China wash.hou and brought him into nv
place and told me ho had lost n watch"
Dick at this juncture, with n flush Of tri-
umph on his modest cOuntenance, assured the
Court that there was 10 doubt but that his
client was perfectly sober, and had lost his
property az claimed, and compAccntly sank
into his seat with II flourish that plainly said,
IL is perfectly plain.
Here tho Court informed him that he had
not made up a case, and asked him to proceed.
With look Of astonishment he arose to
ask If it was not perfectly plain that his client
was duly sober2
A litter Of nerriment prevniled for n mo-
ment, but Dick was serious.
, The Court then asked, ''do you want TO OK
anime any more witnesses Mr.. Alp"
After consultations; Eyes, I'd like to call
China Mary" Witness takes the stand.)
Mary didn' you tell the Constable that the
accused stole this gontlcmnn's watch7"i
"Me no know muche. man hab two watchec
brandy, no, me, know" Here Marys evidence
subsidized into Chinese lingo.
Dick turning TO Constable said, "didn't this
woman tell You, &C."
IL am not sworn; am no witness.'
well Judge, II seems 10 be perfectly plar
case; my client was duly sober"
lyon must confne yourself 10 the evidence
and draw out what is necessary to prove youl
complaint" ..-.... .. ...-. ..-
Dick turning to Mary, asked, care tho nc
cused not in the habit Of stealing your chick
ens?" ... f.-... ..........
II no know, no steale from me-"
''Well, Judge / think IL quito plain case
and my client was certainly duly sober"
=, DO you want TO rest the case hore2" sale
the Judge. .. ~
"Yes"
The Court thereupon examined ono or tw,
witnesses and failing 10 ndduco any conyinc
ing proof, commenced TO sum mp the case 70
decision thcIeupon, when he was assailet
by Dicks everlasting "Well Judge, think ]
quite plain case, for It's evident my ellen
was duly sober"
Whether his client wns adudecd "dul
SOBER or not cannot say, but tho case wa
OF course dismissed As went ont of tn
courtroom l saw Dick with the Justice but
ton-holod, and plainly heard, "Well Judge.
think 1t perfectly plain case, and that m
client was duly sober Yours, ...... +
SAssAcUs.