The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1870-12-08
lFrem the Louisville Courier-Journal1
LOVE AND TIGHT BOOTS.
Unpleasant Predicament of Young Man

LOVE AND TIGHT BOOTS.
Unpleasant Predicament of Young Man.
Among the amused auditors at the Opera
House there was at least one person who fail
ed to see where the laugh came in, and to
whom the mirth provoking antics of Tony De
nier were. anything but pleasant A double
clog by sixveeks old corps would have been
more entertaining to him than tho sylph-like
movements Of Mile Leah in the skipping roIe
redowa The bursts Of laughter from the de
lighted audience were like Goals OF fire upon
his head But to the story
A hobby, fascinating young gent, one Of the
handsonlest and politest conductors on the
lightning express train that flies over one oil
the best railroads that runs out of this city
like many other young gents, has among his
acquautances beautiful young lady, who is
his especial weakness In fact he adores the
very ground upon which she walks. The
young lady, as is usual in such cases HIS
''cruel PARENT" who labors under the delu-
sion that the young man leads fast lille (f,r-
ty miles an hour every other day } and thteat
ened to check him through without change
to the other world, he came fooling around
his daughter any more. But love laughs at
locksmiths, and the young folks contrivc to
see each other without the old gents knowl
edge Yesterday, the young lady, knowing
that it was the young mans day to ''lay over"
sent him word that she would attend the Or
era House last night, accompanied by young
er brother, and requested him to meet her
there and 60 home with her.
The young man got himself up regardless
of expense-new clothes, pew boots Ca pair
which, by the way, the Knight of St. Crispin
warranted to fit like the paper on the wall }
and went to the Opera House. He managed
to secure seat in the tier of seats just in the
rear of the one occupied by the young lady
and soon had his mustache close to her back
hair, whispering soft nonsense to her ear.
B ,fore the first act was half over thoughts OF
the warranty given by his boot maker began
to obtrude themselves upon his mind He
remembered that paper on the wall generally
fits close. As the moments flew by the fit
grew closer. His feet seemed to be swelling
half an inch an hour, and the boots shrinking
at the same rate. 5 @ ID BoijG
Those of our readers who have worn tight
boots (and who has not?) can appreciate his
situation. Finally the pain grew SO intolera-
Bile that he managed, while the young lady
was deeply Interested In one of the wonderful
transformation scenes, to slip the boot off,
The sense of relief nearly overpowered him
and when the curtain fell again, and friend
sitting near asked him out to see a man, he
accepted the invitation aud attempted to put
on his boot, but it would not go on. He pull
ed and tugged, but the calf-skin was obstinate
The cold perspirat;on stood out upon his brow
He was conscious that he was attracting at
tention, aud suddenly changed his mind, and
did not feel like drinking.
Then he thought of the object of his visit
to the Opera House, and, with half audible
maledicton upon all bootmakers, made des
perate effort to thrust on the boot. A friend,
attracted by his actions, inquired the cause
and was told what was the matter The friend
began to laugh, and the conductors anger to
rise. The whispered admonition that every
body was looking at him soothed him slightly,
and he hurled few choice epithcts in an IN
dertone at his friend
As he tugged at the straps till the stitches
gave way, he muttered, "Oh if these ID
reporters should get hold Of this"
"There's one on the next seat,'' said his
friend.
90, h--ll keep this said the unfortu-
nate victim, as he Strengthened up in his seat,
exhausted by the drain upon his energies,
IN never have any peace if they get hold of
it," 5" $4,000 li7a4-ss 9ala'-D q
The promise was made, but by this time
half dozen persons saw what was going on,
and he was overwhelmed with invitations to
go out; but he had "quit driuking;'' "dida't
want to smoke y "quit chewing "wanted to
see the play" etc. As tile play drew to a
close he made another effort to get on the
boot, but failed as before and tilast, nerved
| by the desperation Of despair, told the young
lady that he had received orders to take
train out right away, and could not accompa-
ny her home. At the close, he managed to
limp out with his boot half way on, and when
last seen was sitting on the curbstone rear the
| Opera House, surrounded by sympathizing
friends, not one of whom had knife, furious
y mutilating the offending boot with his
punch, which had never before punched a
hole in anything thicker than a coupon or
communication ticket. -iAt
| H ql ssPOIiy HOllered.,S