Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-06-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

AN agreeable person is defined "as one |
who agrees with you"
THEATRICAL MEM.-The first walking
gentleman Adam. Fun.
How TO get the exact weight of fish
Weigh him in his own scales.
A TEXAS murderer wants his execution
delayed because he Is in poor health.
SOMETHING that most people would like
q little longer-strawberry short cake.
The Boston journal lays Decoration
Day with the ladies las, 8 the year round"
TIE Washington Life avoids the faults
of both mutual and stocl' companies.
Four boxes govern the world-the car
fridge box, the ballot box, the jury boz,
and the band box"
SOMEBODY advertises, as found in At.
lanta, Ga, "an accomplished young lady's
silk parasol."
THE President of the oldest Life Insur-
ance Company in New York is insured in
the Washington Life.
A vINEGAR-HBARTED old bachelor says
he always looks under the head of "Mar-
riages" for the news of the pedk.
IT is said that the reason there are so
many muttonheads in existence Is to be
found in the fact that such a number of
children are "perfect little lambs"
A WORTHY missionary in India says that
his congregation had not yet experienced
any trouble from the pew system, as they
were accustomed to sit on the ground.
al SAY" said Yankee to an Irishmsn
who was digging in garden, care you
digging out hole in that onion bed2"
"NO," said Pat, I'm digging out the dirt
and leaving the hole"
A FOOLISH fellow advised friend not
to marry poor girl, as he weuld find
matiimony without money "up-hill work ?"
Goose" said his friend, 81 would rather
go up hill than down, any time"
A WASHINGTON belle says: "In walk.
| ing up long room when the women who
don't like you are looking az your back,
there is moral support conveyed by a
Paris dress not to be derived from the
firmest religious principles"
| LOVERS of tobacco are now designated
"Tobaccophagoi," and the qualification of
their tastes in this regard, which ignorant
| people call "chawin," or "smosin'," Is
henceforth to be known as Tobacco
phagonism."
A RICH old uncle who had two nephews
LETT his will as follows: "To my nephew
William, leave my whole fortune, be-
cause know he will bestow it on the
poor To my nephew Albert, leave moth
ing, for the same reason"
A TRAVELLER who has crossed the At.
lantic, tells story of a storm, when the
rain poured down in such torrents that
the ocean rose ten inches. "There's no mis-
take" said he, because the captain kept
a mark on the side of the vessel"
IN the old time a Connecticut pastor
declined an addition of 500 to his salary
for the reason, among others, that the
hardest part of his labor, heretofore, haC
been the collection of his salary, and il
would kill him to try to collect $l0(
more.
A YOUNG gentleman recently founC
himself in company with three young
ladies, and generously divided an orange
amongst them. "You will rob yourself
exclaimed one of the damsels "Not a
all, }" replied the innocent; al have thre,
or four more in my pocket"
THE New York Express SAYS: 9TH,
types are compelled to make many awk
ward mistakes, but none more awkward
than that which made US say that DIV,
Logan had married her uncle when VIZ
had written 'sprained her ankle For
tunately, it did not get out before tn,
public"
A YOUNG lawyer at Eatontown, N. ].
in the midst of brilliant outburst of elo
quence, was interrupted by shrill voice
which yelled, "Stopl you lie. Stopl vol
lie" Young legality smoothed his ruffleC
feathers when the Sheriff announced tina
it was only parrot in neighboriny
house.
A PosER.-
Say, which enjoys the greater blsses,
Jonn, who Dorinda's picture kisses,
| Or Tom, his friend, the favored ELF
Who kisses fair DOrinda's self?
Faith It's not easy to divine,
- While both are thus with rapture fainting,
To which the balance should incline,
since Tom and John both kiss painting
ONE of the fire engine horses in Al
, lanta, Ga, was sick the other day, and tn
boys employed another, leaving him il
his place in the engine-ho whe
; they were called out. After they ha
gone, Joe, the horse, became restless, AM
, in short time broke his halter and gal
loped off TO the fire, where he took hi
5 place beside his mate and remained quit
t contented.
l Mrs. MARY POWELL, in her lecture o.
the Indians, makes a curious statemen
concerning children, who are fastened {
birch bark and their limbs kept con6ne
till they are two years cid. "I hav
4 seen," she says, "as many as two hundre
4 of them together at one time, and n
, noise came from their lips. They ar
4 healthy aud comfortable, and have no nee
: to cry. Their arms of course are not col
= fined, only their bodies and legs"
4 JOSH BILLINGS thus speaks of a ne,
a agricultural implement, to which the a
tentiOn of farmers is invited: "John Rol
4 ers revolving, expanding, unceremoniou
E selfadjusting, self-contrakting, self SHARP
/ ening, selfgreasing and self-righteou
f hoss rake IL now and forever offered te,
e a generous publik. These rakes are q
; eazy to keep in repair az a hitching pos
D and will rake up paper of pins sowe
1 broad kast in ten aker lot of whef
0 stubble. These rakes kan be used in tn
0 winter for hen roost, or be sawed up /
: stove wood for the kitchen fire. No farm
r er ov good moral karakter should t
: without this rake, even if he has to ste,
j one"