Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-08-03
JENKINS GOES TO A PICNIC.
What HappeDeG, and What he Thinks
About IL.
~ ,l.fo-v,,fna1 IN

About IL.
Maria Ann recently determined %
60 to a picnic. 80.
Maria Ann Is my W1fe-uhIotle.'
nately. She had planned 70 60 y
alone, so far as I was eoneerhsuI On T.
that picnic excursion but When
heard about it, determined 20 assist
She pretended she was very slaG /;
but I don't believe she was. It VIII
do you good TO get away from your
work a day, poor fellow" she SAID,
and we shall so much enjoy cool
morning ride on the cars, and dinner
in the woods"
On the morning Of that memorable
day Maria Ann got up at five o'clock.
About three minutes later she dis
turbed my slumbers, and told me to
come out to breakfast. told her 1
wasn't hungry. But it didn't make
a bit Of difference, had to get up.
The sun was up; had no idea the
sun began business so early in the
morning, but there. he was.
Now" said Maria Ann, we must
fly around, for the cars start at half
past six. Eat all the breakfast you
can, for you won't get anything more
before nOOn."
1 could not eat anything at that
time in the morning, and it was Just
as well could not, for had all
L could do. There was ice to be
pounded to 90 around the pail of ice
cream, and the sandwiches to be cut,
and thought I should never get the
legs Of the chicken fixed so that I
Nne l. 10
Maria Ann flew around and piled uD
groceries for me to pack, and gave
directions to the girl about taking
care OF the house, and was putting on
her new dress all at once. There is a
great deal Of energy in that woman
PERHAPS a trifie too much.
At twenty minutes past six stood
on the front steps with a basket on
one arm and Maria AIMS waterproof
on the other, and a pail in each hand,
and bottle Of vinegar in my coat
skirt pocket. There was a camp
chair on me somewhere, too, but I
forget just now.
Now" said Maria Ann, 81 we must
run, or we shall not catch the cars
" Maria, said ], " that is a reasOna-
bic idea. How do you suppose I can
run with all this freight2n
' You must, you brute. You al
ways try to tease me. If you don't
want a scene on the streets, you viii
start, too"
So I ran.
1 had one comfort, at least. Maria
Ann fell down and broke her parasOl.
She called me a brute again because
L laughed. Maria drove me all the
way to the depot on a brisk trot, and
we got on the cars; but neither of US
could geta seat, and 1 could not find
any place where I could set the things
down, so I stood there and held them
NMaria," +" said I, in winning ac-
cents, 80 how is this for cool morn
ing ride?'
Said she, "YOu are a brute, Jen-
kins.n
Said I, My love, you have made
that remark before"
i kept my courage up, yet I knew
there would be an hour OF wrath
when we got home. While we were
getting out Of the cars the bottle in
my pocket got broke, and eOnse-
quently / had one boot half full Of
vinegar all day. That kept me pretty
quiet, and Maria Ann ran or with a
-whiskered music teacher, and lost
her fan, and got her feet wet, and tore
her dress, and enjoyed herself much
after the fashion Of picnic gOers. I
thought it would never come dinner
time, and Maria called me a pig, be-
cause I wanted to open our basket
before the rest Of the baskets were
open.
At last dinner time came-the
nice dinner in the woods" YOU
know. Over three thousand little
red ants had got into our dinner, and
they were worse to pick out than fish
bones The ice cream had melted,
and there was no vinegar for the cold
meat, except what was in my boot,
and Of course that was Of no imme-
diate use. The teacher spilled a cup
Of hot coffee on Maria's head, and
pulled all the friZzles out trying to
wipe OF the coffee with his hand
kerchief Then I sat on a piece Of
raspberry pie, and spoiled my white
pants, and concluded I didn't want
any more. I had to stand up against
q tree the rest Of the afternoon. The
day afforded considerable variety.
compared to everyday life, but there
were so many little drawbacks that i
did not enjoy it so much as I might
have done.