The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-09
Rir1mond nispattlt.
FRIDAY ..pEeEMBER 8, 1870.
Trials OF n Witness, IA accounted I'm
= letter to EsunchtDeIIo.

Trials OF a Witness, IA Rccounted tH
= letter 10 PunchtneHo.
Ms. PvScHlNELLo AT the beginning o
last week made my first appearance IN an,
courtroom in the character OF witness II
the case Of Valentine Is. Orson, in whici
the point in dispute was the ownership o
a tract OF land in Wyoming Territory.
knew something in regard TO the sale o
these lands, and was fully prepared to les
tify to the extent Of my knowledge i'll the
premises; but judge OF my utter surp,rlh,
and horror. on being obliged 10 so throu5 >, >.
such an ordeal as the following cN'Fa''s
from nv examination will indicate
The counsel for the plaintiff colnmenee9d
By asking me If was u married. nah'' an"
when answered that was, ne sa'o:
"Is your wife q believer In the 2hcaples
of the Woman's Rights party ~
could not. for the life Of me, see what
this had 10 do with the land In Wyoming,
but answered that was happy to say she
The examination then proceeded as fol-
lows:
Q. You are happy, then, In your ratrl-
monial reiationSI 4. Ees-(and Temem-
bcr,ng the osth) reasonably so.
Q. Is your wife pretty! A. (WitneNs re-
memberlng at once his oath and his wlte>s
presence in court.) She is pretty pretty.
O. What are her defects? A. (Witness
remembering only his wite's pfescnce) L
have never been able to discover them.
.. Doyou wear flannel: A. Yes, Ia WIN
ter.
Q. Can you testify, upon your oath, that
YOU DO not wear flannel in summer! 4. l
can.
Q. Now be careful in your answer. What
do you wear in the spring and tall' A. l.
Iwear my common clothes.
Q. With flannel or without flannel! a.
Sometimes with, and sometimes without.
Q. No evasion; you must tell the court
exactly when you wear flannel anu when
you do not.
A series of questions on this subject
brought out the fact that wore tannel
when the weather was cold, or cool; and
did not wear it when it was mild, or warm.
q. Have you ightning-rod Oh your
house? A. I have.
O. How much did 1t cost you to have it
nut upe A. 1t has not cost mo anything
Yeti owe Tor il.
Q. Is that all you owe for? A. No. I
have other debts.
Z. Have you any money with you now?
A. have.
Q. How muchs A. Counting contents
of porte-monnaie.) Sixty-two cents.
9. Where did you get that? a. with
embarrassment l borrowed it.
Q. Were you present when defendant
first offered his land for sale to the plain
tiff? A. Frightening up was.
Q. Do you burn gas or Kerosene in your
house? A. Gas.
0, How many burners: A. Ten, l think.
Q. Are you willing to assert, upon your
solemn cath, that there are only tenn a.
Witness counting on his fngcrS.) l am.
q. Do you wear studs or buttons on your
shirt fronts? A. studs.
Q. Gold or pearl: A. Mother-of-pearl,.l
as general thing, but sometimes wear
one gold one at the top.
Q. Were all your studs Of mother-of-pearl
ut the time when you first heard this trans
action mentioned between the parties: a.
They were.
q. Do YOU ever wear your gold stud in
the middle Of your bosom! 4. No, sir; l
always wear it at the top. 1
.. Do you ever wear 1t ut the bottom: /
Can you swear II was not at the bottom on !
the day of the transaction referred to: A. | |
distinctly remember that l did not wear ii |
at all that day.
@. Did you wear it that night? A. No, |
sir.
O. Can YOU swear that after YOU went |
to bed YOU did not wear ii g.: A. ! can.
Q. Have you ever been vaccinated? 4. l |
have.
.. On which arm? 4. The left.
.. At the time OF the first mention Of this
land to the plaintiff, who were present
A. Witness speaking with hopeful vlvacity, |
as if he hoped they were now coming to the
merits Of the easel The plaintiff, the Gle. |
PENDANT, and myself.
Q. Do you use the Old Dominion coffee
pot in your house? A. Dejectedly.) No,
sir.
Q. What kind of eofTce-pot do you use;
A. 4 common tin one.
Q. lou are willing to So ear it Is tin? 4. (
am. /
Q. Has your vile any sisterss a. She |
has two-Anna and Jane. !
Q. Are they married? j. They are.
q. are either Of them Us pretty as your |
wife? Il. Quickly No, sir.
Q. Have you any children? A. Two.
&. Have they had the measlesf A. They |
have.
Q. Has any other person in your house
had the measles: A. have had them and |
my wife has had them.
Q. How do you know your wife has had |
them? A. She told me SO.
Q. Then you did not see her have them?
Q. We want no hearsay evidence here |
how can YOU swear that she has had then
when you did not see her have themf A.
She told me 50, and I believed her
@. Did she take an oath ,hat she had
had them. A. No, sir.
Q. Then, sir, 20" ORC tris;nr with the
o ~ an oath understand The obligations
VI O. o. p psNA A. do.
u,,s WARE, then, that you are not com
-..led for perjury. syour gas metre ever
frozeny a. Yes, sir. IN
Q. What do you use when the gas VIII
not burn. A. Candles. >,.o
@. How many to the pound. A. Nine.
& How do YOU know there are nine TO
the pound? 4. They are sold as mines.
@. Then you never weighed them your
self A. No, sir. ..
Counsel to the court May it please your
Honor, this is the second time that THIS Wit
ness has positively testified, under solemn
oath, to important points, OF which lie has
no certain knowledge. l ask the court Tor
protection for myself and my client.
Here long discussion took place be-
tween the lawyers and the Judge, and at
the end Of 1t, the case was postponed for
four months. I suppose it is expected that
I will then re-ascend the witness-stand ;
but ! have determined that when l enter
a courtroom again I shall appear as a
criminal. These fellows have much the
easiest times, and they run SO little risk,
nowadays. that their position Is far prefer
able to that of the unfortunate witness.
j. BADGER.
JOSH BILLISGs.-Mankind love histories,
q hole in the ground excites more wonder
than star up in heaven.
,icfa Ee thlrp