The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-07-28
JOSH BlLLlNGs PAPERS.
A Loose BiIt EpIytIe.

A loose Bit EpIStIe.
DEAR BRIGHAM: Excuse this peripa'
tlCtlck letter. "'l ~ .''h
lam a vagraMt, and 4 wandercr on the
Trail OV literature, aud write letters, Just
as l spit not knowing Which way the
wind blows, nor where the SALIVA IL go.
ing I'd land '7' ''i.. i''t ".T ID
/ want harnessdd yung cnutE lew be
kind In all harness. .IuY.Jiy .gr
MI disposishun wa2 one Ol tho kind
that ought 10 have been made tGw turn a
grindstonC, instead Ov that | waS chasing
6utteriliEC around eVGrybotly's mlld.hOle
in our naberhOOdi and didn't hoe emmy
korn. #.... '..-.,,..-. ....
Tic oblique consequent Of this wuz
never had any tApe line in me, and
never kllu the square root Of anything,
unless it waS ov q prairie hogs noze,
This is unfortunate for me and Others
to, fDrI mite have been good fair 'shu!
maker r. ] had been waxCd properly In
my mellow years, instead nowoV being
q poor ink.spattcrcr fur q good paper ill.
II | had boy now who had any slmp'.
toms Of ChOlGry itlfantllm about him, or
any kind Ov lRwlcss, unixed and tlux
notions, and who couldn't tell where he
Nyaz last night till half past two this morn,
ing, and who wanted few 60 into bizzL:
ness fir himself dt sixteen years old with
u capitalO of two bottles OV PhalOn's eX'
tract, aud o mustash that rcsembled the
mold on u pound Of limberger cAleegse,
would say Coptilcnshally to linn
"Son, I hdvc.bih tcw blaine thus far in
framing your TIMBER butyu kan bet Thorn
patient boots w, hay got on, and which
haint bin paid for yet, that from now
hereafter, VI hay got few begin aSih, and
weed out yure garden sass, and sucker
yure grape vines andEplow up yurc wild
oats, and Mnderlrain ,yure swamp land
and Drllsh-loOk yure ,briar patch, and fix
yurc farm fir i krop 0v sum kind oy
Gratti TINT will not disgrace both son and
daddy.whcn is brought tew market
This IL 1he way / would converse with
the young Billings, and II he dil not he,
gin Ii len minitts 10 lake an akkount Of
his bad diets, and ackt ytlng rooster up an
down in frontOvmc, mi strong impreshlln
IL now, that wood retreat step and let
I'll my left pcrsuadcr, and land that boy
sum fifty feet further Oph than he waz.
at would hev bin six hundred dollars in
myNest pocket If sum filanthr0fst, about
thirty years ago, had gotmi mob in Chan,
Gerry, and not given up the case TIL he had
punched ont 0v my he'd the fresh water
i1oshun that tho best way to fOller blind
trail in the wilderness waz not 10 take
emmy kumpass.
This kind Of del sure knowlelgG,am0ng
fresh yung men, haz landed 400 out oV
evry five hundred Ov them, before they
had got hall throO life, into sum soft
swamp, and The other hundred llaye ssOt
out the close oyt their lives on fence, H.
menting the hard work they did in their
younger dazc,,fto make ~" rhOols oV
tllemgelfs.l s,a5 bG' / ~ %, ~ ~.
/ kno il was ezeYas Ghawin gum, tor II
yung .institootion oy boy, who has got u
burnin.fluid natur, tow be anxious to jinC
an the torch-lite duins In the country, and
tew holler "amen't befor tue prayer is hai
finished; but 1 find itmi duty to tell these
canphcne children tcw cork up their
litening.
~ don't want ennyboddy's boy Billyto
be ded hGl a sldm-millschecsc col
porter Of, water grcwel; q putty babe
ling; u kurl.papered nursery doll ; an
appointed anatomy blonde; q timmid
corpsc among his phellows, afraid ova
bug and satisfied with q Kitten. ,'g,el
l,h I amt YOLin for this breed oY bOys;l !
only ask the yirginity ov mi sex 10
matk Up their minds, from the expert.
ence oI those that have observed the
elephant, that youth was given them,
not tcw be boss, but apprcntiss; not tcw
foller; not To harvest, but tew plant,
There is no danger in turning q snatks
loose, oven before he gets fairly haired
out, natur teaches him 10 make his first
wiggle correct pattern for hiz last one.
She makes him snaik from the word
"go,' and nothing clSe, and, II he takes a
noshln TO go tcW tic leYil, who cares?
But ov all the most depi6r6blc lick that
can be the inAeritanCenU y camphme
boy, don't kno OvlR more dangerous one
than 70 be his owR n master g19 pr the master
!. i hive knowhf sonic ofttiese exccntricks
than Satanu couldn't ket0h, who have
lodged him suCcessflllyifo for the whole ov
6Gys, It IS 10 credit tewI n hitch yoursells
Rgainst the devil, evcn il you have 4 dcd
soft thing. This beating the devil at his
own game is like surviving The smallpox,
but W arc sure Nrl tew ish40y some 2f thc
Dcar Brigham, se'feihhrks are not
intended TEN be personal, they wouldn't
tlt ye emmy more than a side saddle would
1t tic back stretch. oV o trottin track, tor
i'know vi haY bin broke teW staru With
out tieing. HAs ~ ~ bii@' 'i'''r i'''t