Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-10-27
AS AN ADVERTISING MEnuM
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


What is pride, my dear ?n ''Walking
with cane when you amt lame,n re-
pied the Intelligent Juvenile"
Only to the perfect being in an imper-
feet world, or the imperfect being in a
perfect world, is everything irretrieva-
bly, out of joint. -.- .t'l
Why should marriage be spoken of az
tender tie, when it is so confounded
it?
No man ever offended his conscience.
but, first or last, it was revenged upon
him for it.
A tumDler of whisky, sugar and wa
ter, Is said to be the best fly killer in the
world. With the sugar and water left
out, 1ts efficacy as man-killer is unsur-
passed. - =.
When a man in power asks for time to
consid anything, it is generally in or
immediate inferior, without whose sane
ton be dafes not assent to anything.
"The happiest of pillows" saws Lam
der, is not that which To- first presses,
but that which death has frowned on.
ana passed over"
We often suffer ourselves to be mt ont
OF our BEARINGS by some misfortune. not
oil the most serious kind, With looks
yer black at the time, but which from
its nature, cannot be lasting. We are
then Ike ignorant hens that insist upon
going to roost IN midday because there
is brief transitory eclipse of the sun.
There have been many definitions of
a gentleman, but the prettiest and most
poetic is that given by yong lady.
= A gentleman says she, sis a human
being combining woman's tenderness
with mans courage" mind and
manners" might lave been added with
emphasis.
A bootblack, having taken a situation
in store to sweep out and run errands,
was questioned by some former associ-
ates whether he felt as good as when in
business for himself. "Well, 'tis hard
to be bussed round" was the reply, "but
L pay it oton the ash man."
Alcohol does not play the part, or
anything like the part, in the criminal
statistics of France, or Germany, or Ita-
ly, that 1t plays in ours. Beer and light
wines seem to be far safer than whisky
-fermented liquors than the distilled.
A courteous Frenchman, in reply to
a question why ladies were not admitted
into the Chamber of Deputies, said that
TO be member it was requisite 10 be
forty years of age, and it was impOssi Ole
to suppose that any lady, could reach
that unseemly age.
AS daylight can be seen through very
small holes, SO little things illustrate a
mans character Indeed, character con-
Sists i1s attte acts, HABITUALLY and HON
oRABLY performed: daily life being the
quarry from which we build it up, and
rough hew the habits that form it,
A WESTERN editor accused another of
having stolen his report of meeting,
which was recognized by certain ear
marks. The courteous retort is that the
first editor ''should tie his ears over the
top of his head while writing, to- keep
them out of the ink-bottle."
The only liberty-cap, says a clever
and witty author, is the night-cap. In
it men visit, one-third of their lives,
the only land where they are free and
equal. -a -'... 60.
SOME paragraphie philanthropist is
committing pious fraud on the fair sex,
by endeavoring to persuade them that
the only way to avoid red noses in win
ter is to keep their mouths shut.
PROFESSOR, said student in pur-
suit of knowledge concerning the habits
of animals, why does eat, while eat
ing, turn her head first one way and
then the other?" 'For the reason, - re-
piled the Professor, "that she cannot
turn it both ways at once"
lNTany loss the opportunity OF saying a
kind thing by waiting to weigh the
matter too long. Our best impulses are
too delicate to endure much handling.
If you fail to give them expression the
moment they rise, they effervesence,
evaporate, and are gone. If they do not
turn sour they become fat, losing all life
and sparkle by keeping Speak prompt
ly when you feel kindly.
"Look here, Squire, where was you
born?" said persistent Yankee to a five
minutes acquaintance. az was born, ,
said tn victim, 'inB Boston, Trmontstreet,
No. A, left hand side, on the 1st day of
August, 1890, at five o'clock in the after
noon; physician, DR.. Warren; nurse,
Sallie Benjamin" Yam kee was answer
ed completely. For moment he was
struck. Soon, however, his face bright
ed, and he quickly said: Yeas: wa'al 1
calculate you don't recollect whether it
was a frame or brick house dew YEP"
The blacksmith of French village
was shoeing the horse of q Prussian
hussar, and the husssr was holding his
horses foot. Suddenly the smith struck
the hussar with his hammer on the
head, killing him instantly. Some COM
rades of the murdered man had seen this
deed, and hastened forward, but now a
crow of villagers rushed Up and took
the smith into their midst, defending
him against the hussars. The latter
| fired their pistols into the mob, killing
the murderer and several of his defend
ers. A stronger force scoming up, the
peasants were dispersed and the village
burnt down as a punishment for this
treachery.
A private letter from Gen. James
Forsythe, of Gen. Sheridan's staff, in
speaking of the Prussian army, says IL
i is the noblest army in the world. Every
man is a professional soldior, tall, strong
and athletic, and all are between the
ages of % and 81. How many ofthese
horoes have already fallen! How many
wives made widows. How many mai
dens bereft of their bridegroomsl How
l. fel~ -, -
! sisters of their brothers! Truly, the sac.
4 rifices to the molech of war fall even
\ more heavily uron the living than the
dead Toledo Commercial.
A funny story is going the rounds in