The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1870-06-08
About Yallr Dogs.

topics with appreciation to his read
ers, but he has, until lately, overlook.
ed the neglected subject" of which
he treats below:
When Noah disembarked ut Ararat
he had scarcely touched the pier when
no proceeded to tally his passengers.
He had just checked bis last item in
the list-a Mr.. and Mrs. Bed.bug-
when q cringing figure of quadru-
ped came down tho gang plank with
his tail between his legs. "Drat it |
It there ain't that yaller dog p says
Noah, aiming vicious kick with his
brogaD at the brute. But, with ia
cility born Of long and bitter expert
ence, the brute lodged the pro]ectile,
and calculating "ky yi"Lwhioh is
Syriac for s'Deolined with thanks" or
mot for. Joe"-d disappeared, whiIo
Noah, who had bis sea legs on, was
unable to recover his equilibrium, and
sat down, with emphasis, on the back
Of his head. srs g.
Noah arose, and in accordance with
tho style prevalent among tho patri-
archs, ho proceeded to soo,he his
affronted dignity by propouncing a
variegated anatbema upon the yaiier
dog, which had characteristioally
sncaked unobserved on board, iu tho
confusion of putting to sea, aud cap
sized the captain at the first port. Ho
cursed that dog in body and limb,
bat1e5 hide. hair, tail and wng, and all
his generations, relations and Kindred
by consanguinity or affinity, and his
heirs and assigns. He cursed him
with endless hunger, with perpetual
fear, with perennial luziness, with
hopeless mango, with inccssant feas.
and with his tail between his legs.
He closed his stock of mailed ictiors
by sparkling display Of pyroteoh-
MICS, from the demoralizing effects Of
which the Yaller dog has never recov-
cred. u.us at ua uI-.
With this curse sticking to him like
revenue stamp, tho yaller dog emit
help being cussed. He don't try to
help it. He follows Noah's programme
with sncaking fidelity. He is an Ish-
maelite among dogs. He receives tho
most oppressive oourtesies, in the
form Of brickbats, boots and hot wa.
ter, which makes hia life an animated
target excursion. He boards around
like a district school teacher, and it
is meal time with him twenty.four
hours in tho day. The rest of the
time he bankers after something to
cat. lie is too omuivorous for an
epicure. Cram him ut Delmonioo's
aud he would hunger for dessert from
an Albany boarding house. l.~E
He can't be utilized. lie is too
tired. Asa swill-oart locomotive, a
hunter or sentinel, he is an igno.
minious failure. The dog-ohurn was
strategic attempt to employ his
waste energies, but he badn'tr any
waste energies, and butter had too
much self-respect to, come at his per-
suasion. So the dog .churn was drop
ped. wa "s}. uf :
No sausage. maker dare foreclose
his lien on the yallor. dog, lest his
customers-no longer soothed and sus.
tained BY an unfaltering trust-trans-
fer their patronage to somo loss auda-
oious dealer. The savagcs, who ad-
mire baked dog. and whe e.n e=ss:
attack tripe and explore tho my ste-
ries Of hash, without dismay, acknowl-
edge the yallcr dog to be too much
for their gastric ihtrepidity. "
He always manages to belong to
ragged, tobacco. .chowing, whiskey-
drinking master. whose business is
swapping dogs and evading the dog
tax. The yaller dog is acquainted
with himself, and be enjoys the ;n::-
macy with edifying contempt. He
sinks along through life, on diago-
nal .dog-trot, as if in doubts as to
which end of him is entitled to the
precedence. He is always pervaded
by hang-dog sense Of guilt, and
when rotributive tinware is fastened
to- bis tai, he flies from the wrath to
come with a Mortified celebrity which
ought. to be, very suggestive to two
legged sinnors. of similar ordeal ID
store for them. 2F'A sT ssE s'# .
The yalier dog is~-wall, to speak
in italics, be his q SLOUGH. saa asi
.g,v ID i--41-----.---e % 1----r-1. ..t4Efa,
ARcApEs AmBo.--A Yankee car.
pet.bagger named Dunn, who is con.
testing Wbittemore's District, recent.
ly proved ih aspoeoh a that his oppo
nent was q thief. Whom ho conolud-
cd, the oolored> postmaster of the
place (florence) mounted the rostrnm
and said a..
'"i do not question that Whittemore
may be what Mr. Dnnn says be ia; but
Imast enquire, may not NJ. EDdnns
who ! 10 also from Massachusetts,, bo
also a thief ~ ,,,sr lid, 9y.,ier',
n the "reformers' really meant
"bis," they would nominate that dar.
key for Congress- against both Whit.
temorea and Daens st8fs 72'i 9niiiY
ij At !SH@--z..4a.,ss sss-k..ass-s4<gS!l !la Ittw