The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1870-05-03
MY WifES BR,DAEL TOUR
by NOSE SKINNER.

When / married my second wife size
was dreadfully set about going off on
bridal tour, told her she had bette
wait six months or year and I'd try
to 60 with her, but she said she'd rather
go alone-when a woman was travelling
a msn was out and-out humbug.
So ] gave her seventy-five cents and
told her to GO off and have good time
/ never begrudge money where my wife's
happiness is concerned. Nv first wife
never could complain ofnot going any
where's, for I'm dreadful fierce to 60 off
on a good time myself and always WIS.
/ don't pretend to say how many times I
tcelJ her out TO see the engine squirt,
and there was no end to the free oct-
ures ! let her 90 to. The neighbnrs
used to say: 1T does beat all how the
SINNERS do 90.
When Sicnor BIitz was in Slunksille,
vith his wonderful canaries, lie gave my
wife p complimentary ticket. ] not on
il sold that ticket for NV wife, but
gave her half the money. | don't boast
II It though; i only mention it to show
new much | thought Of my wife's happi~
moss
I don't think any man ought to mar
RI Till he can consider his wifes happi-
ness only second to his own. Wise, q
neiglbor Of mine did thuslY. and when
! cot ii arried concluded I'd do like
Wise
But the plan didn't work in the case
or my second wife. No, should think
Matilda said, I suppose you are
aware that am your lord and master.
Not much you ain T. said she
ttFrs skinner; 1 pnpliol Gynr1 nra
faur'Qlly demoralized. You need reorg
aplzine at once You arc cranky And
[ hrHnd shed my sixty two cent umbreal
ia wildly around her.
Sire took my umbrealla away from me,
and locked me up in the clothes press
all quick to draw an infer eDce and
the inference I drew here was that | was
not d success as a reorganizer Of female
women.
Nfser this l changed my tactics. /
let her have her own way, and the plan
worked TO q charm from tile very first.
It's the best way of managing wife |
know Of. OF course this Is between you
anil me-
SD when nv wife was bound to 90 of
oh bridal tour anyhow, | cordially SIS
sented. Go, Matilda, said !, and stay
" long as you want to- then if you feel
~ lAcngh you wanted stay little while
longer, stay, my dear stay
Size told mc to stop talking. and 90
It's attirs and get her red flannel night
en- aud that bag of penny-royal fol
ll aunt Abigail.
wife is smart woman. She was
= Baxter, and the Baxters are very
arr ast familys indeed. Her mother, who
" Going on eighty, can fry more flap
81, haIf
Ci+v gtrl5, who rattle on the piano, OF
c1sa walk tbs streets with their furbe
lows end lixings, pretending to get mad
II 3 Young chap looks at them pretty
hard but getting mad in earnest If you
don't notice them at all.
Ali! girls amt what they used to be
when [ was young. and the felIers are
worse slill. When / went counting, fo1
instance, / never thought Of staying ii
sNar ten O. clock, and only went twice {
week Now they 60 seven nights week.
and CRY because there amt eight They
write touching notes to each OTHER dur
inc The dav Dear George, you love
me as Won did at quarter past twelve
last niqht. say you Go dearest, and il
sgig Give nc courage to go down stairs
and tackle them cold beans left oyel
from Yesterday
Well, well, l suppose they enjoy them
selves, and it amt for US old folks, whose
harr.s have got q little calloused by long
vie to interfere. Let them 60 togcth
al aal court if they like it, and | thinl
theg do 1 was forty-seven when
coarted my present wife, but il seemed
1 as nice to sit on a little ricket at AeI
II. ana let her smooth my hair, as i
d} thitty Years ago.
As I said before, my wife is very
smart woman, but she couldn't be any.
hing else, and be q Baxter She uset
tn live lectures on Woman's Rights, am
FIJI ane place where she lectured, bis
College conferred the title Of L. L. y
on her. But she wouldn't take it, M
gentlemen she said, give it to the poor
size was always just so charitable. Sh
gave my boys permission to go barefoot
Ell al winter; and insisted upon it 81
much ia her kind way that they couiln'
refuse.
She fairly dotes on my children, ant
I've seen her many time go to thei
troWser5 pockets and take out their pen
MICS after they'd got to sleep, and pu
them ID her bureau drawer for fear the.
iii ebt lose them.
III conclusion / would say to al
yolng men: Marry your second wifi
fs5-, and keep out of debt BY all mean
even ii you have to borrow money to q
it.
THE NEW PRESIDING ELDER Key
n. nj. Beamer, appointed Presiding FL
der for this district by the recent con
fpVpugp ia we'll known i,, Perm and Mi