The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-08-28
' ORLEA Rs. SUNDAY. AUGUST %. 1870.

on't they sometimes say rich but honest q"
Tut, tut, my son, nobody would believe
Aem," answered the father.
IAN American abroad being asked if there
bre any ruins on the banks of the Ameri-
IA rivers that could compare with those
i the Rhine, replied, "Our people don't
II much in ruins, but if we'd give 'em-a
lhtract, our builders could put us up a
W, reckon"
"a printer at Paris wrote tragedy called
Joshua" which he printed in the most
eutiful type, and gave copy to the cele-
= tied Bondoni, a printer at Parma. "What
you think of my tragedy 7" asked the
hor. Full of beauties," exclaimed
ndoni "your characters are perfect
uisite- especially the capitals"
u pretty good story is told of an express
- from one of the neighboring towns,
was very near-sighted. He one day
eived an order from physician for a
-ounce Britannia syringe. The next
Fning the worthy doctor was consider
~ astonished by receiving five pounds of
l&eogna sausage.
Once, when speaking in the House, Lord
which had crept in. He turned to the
|iBsiding officer, and said, " Mr.. Speaker,
$m interrupted by new member" The
was driven out, but got in again, and
3Gommenced barking, when Lord North,
bis drol way, added, "spoks once"
~ man was tried for stealing a pair of
&Dts from q shop door in Grand street,
NV York, with which he ran away. The
1Sge said to the witness, who had seized
- prisoner, "What did he say when you
ght him I" "Your honor, he said that
look the boots in joke" CHOW far did
4 barry the joke Z" "About forty yards,
Ase your honor"
2&d understand you make very good
I" "Yaw," said the Dutchman
ans, my poy, 60 pring mug of cider"
lbs soon returned with a mug brimming
and handed it to his father, who
he'd it to the bottom at one draught,
- turning to his astOnished visitor, he
IA "Dere now, if you dosh not dink dat
got cider, joost schnseN Of de mag"
How me-" said an American host, in
4 most persuasive tones, to friend dining
him, "allow me to help you to piece
leman, oratorically, waving his napkin,
|G&orge Washington was first in war,
HI in peace, and first in the hearts of his
e1ntrymen. 1 admire him for his purity,
M Yiety and his patriotism, but I detest
n lies"
tss:Why, Bill, what's the matter with you
Inn look down in the mouth" "Well,
|stef, dare say if you'd been through
|hsS have you'd look bad too" "What's
%atter - "Well, you ~ know :. %, Sarah 1
|Searded her last night" "You did!
lat for Z" DWELL, Ill tell you. She said
te wouldn't marry me, and T'll discard
~ girl that would treat me in that man
.Er. Bear was at public dinner, two
Satlemen. of the name of Bird being in
s4apany. After the cloth was removed,
rs Bear, who was q good singer was called
for song. He Immediately arose and
sd, Gentlemen, your conduct on this
Ecasion is 30 highly improper, that can
Us help noticing.it." "In what manner 2"
led the company. "Why, For calling
b Bear, when you have two Birds in the
Arty."
"a gentleman of a certain firm, who had
ways been in the habit of signing the let
jrs Of the house, fell desperately in love
18th a beautiful young lady. He used all
is persuasive. powers in wooing her, but
nding he could not succeed, wrote most
and pathetic letter. But the
,ver was forgotten in the man of business,
nd he signed himself, "Jones & Co." The
ldy tersely replied that she had at all
mes q great objection to Mr.. JONES' and
lerefore had no desire for his company.
A San Francisco school-teacher received
he following note from the b" ostensible"
aren't of one of his pupils &C. hope as to
~ John, you will fog him just as ofin as
on kin. Heas bad boy-is John. Altho
We been in habit of teachin him myself,
seems to me he never will larn anything
his spellin' is outrageous]y defishent.
7allop him we'll, ser, and you will receiv
" thanks. p. S.-What accounts for
ohm bein SIGH q scholar is that he is my
In by my wife's fust husband"
Judge K, of North Carolina, is great
iickler for forms. One day soldier who
ad been battered considerably in the war
as brought in as a witness. The Judge
I'D him to hold up his right hand. Cant
o it, sir" said the man. Why not 2"
Got a shot in that arm, sir" "Then hold
p your left" The man said he had got
lot in that arm too. "Then," said the
Judge, sternly, "you must hold up your
y. No man ever can be sworn in this
,urt by law, unless he holds up something,
r."
The following story is told of M. de Bal
&c: One night, while lying awake in bed,
Q saw a mau enter his room cautiously
nd try to pick the lock of his writing
esk. Rogue was disconnected by hearing
laugh from the occupant of the apart
emit, whom he supposed asleep. "Why
D YOU laugh ~ asked the thief. am
ughing, my good fellow, to think what
aims you are taking, and what risk you
In, in hope of finding money by night In
place where the lawful owner cannot ind