New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-07-06
The EDITORIAL Once Bore.

He arrives Just as regularly as the clock
strikes nine in the morning. And SO he even
beats the editor sometimes, and the porter
must leave his work and climb two or three
pairs of stairs to unlock the Sanctum and
let him III. He lights one of the Office pipes
not rejecting, perhaps, that the editor may
be one Of those stuck-up" people who
would as soon have a stranger detile his
toothbrush as his pipe-stem.
Then he begins to lOll-for person who
can consent to loaf his useless life away in
ignOminiOus Incidence has not the energy to
sit up straight. He stretches full length on
the sofa awhile; then draws up to half
length; then gets into a chair, hangs his
head back and his arms abroad, and stretches
his legs till the rims of his bostheels rest
upon the floor; by and by sits up and leans
forward, with one leg or both over the arm
of the chair. But it is still observable that :,
with all his changes of position, he never
assumes the'upright or a fraudful affecta-
ton of dignity.
From time to time he yawns and stretches,
and scratches himself with tranquil,
NANCY enjoyment, and now and then he
grunts kind of stuffy, Overfed grunt,
which is full of animal cOntentment. At
rare and long intervals however, he signs a
sigh that is the eloquent expression of a Sc
cret confession, viz: Il am useless and a
nuisance, a cumberer of the EARTH"
The bore and his comrades-fOr there are
usually from two to four on hand, day and
night-mix into the conversation when men
come in to see the editors for moment ON
business; they hold noisy talks among
themselves about politics in particular and
all other subjects in general, even warming
I'D after a fashion sometimes and seeming
I'd take almost a real interest in what they
are discussing; they ruthlessly call an
editor from his work with such q remark as
did you see this, Smith, in the Gazette"
and proceed to read the paragraph while
the sufferer reins in his inpatient pen and
listens; and often lOll and sprawl around
the Office hour after hour, swapping anec
dotes and relating personal experiences to
each Other-hair-breadth escapes, social en-
counters with distinguished men, election
"reminiscences, sketches Of odd characters,
etc.
And through all those hours they smoke,
and sweat, and scratch, and perform such
other services for their fellOw-men as come
within the purview Of their gentle mission
,lpOn earth, and never seem to comprehend
that they are robbing the editors of their
time and the public of journalistic excellence
in next days paper:
At other times they browse, or dreamily
pore over exchanges, or drOOp limp or pen
sive over the chair-arms for an hour. Even
this solemn silence is small respite to the
thing to having people looking over his
shoulder, perhaps, is to have them sit by
in silence and listen to the scratching of his
pen.
If body desires to talk private business
with one OF the editors, he must call him
outside, for no hint other than blasting
powder of nitro-glycerin would be likely to
move the bores out of listening distance.
To have to sit and endure the presence of
a bore day after day; to feel your cheerful
on the stair, and utterly vanish away as his
tiresome form enters the door; to suffer
through his anecdotes and die slowly to his
"reminiscences; to feel always the letters of
his clogging presence; to long hopelessly
for one single days privacy; to note with
shudder, by and by, that to contemplate.
his funeral in fancy has ceased to sOOthe;
to imagine him undergoing in strict and
faithful detail the tortures OF the ancient