, 1870-03-20

O"NER.
A curious phase of the progress of
woman is in the recently invoked practice
Of dispensing with the encumbrauoe Of a
masculine escort in attending balls, and in
fitting up q sort Of temporary orphan asy-
lum, or nursery, in connection with the
ballroom, 80 that ladies' upon whom the
cares Of maternity ate too urgent to be de-
ferrcd for moro than one OF two quadrlles,
may deposit their responsibilities with tho
waiting maid, as the gentlemen deposit
their hats, take check for them,
and proceed to "chase the glow
ing hours with flying feet. "
Tbs system has worked admirably. While
Milford Is at his club, or intently engaged
over the last novel, having paraimonious
time at his business, or generous time
around town, secure in the belief that the
baby at home will protect its matron
from all hn1,n, the aforesaid baby lies
among some $50 Others, from which it
could only be distinguished by the curious
discernment Of parental affection, or by a
small check marked % or IS, and itaandoua
mamma is whir1ing in the German
with great bushwhiakered manp;,xin in
motion, whom Milord would not trust with
portnhnteau, and much less with NY Iaay's
waist, If he knew it. But thin elysiura o1
woman'a rights waa invade. :. recently in .
manner that for -, .,oo strnck conztarn nst;on ~
~" u into the hearts OF fond moth,
- The horrible outrage is thus described
means obtained Admission to the baby department
q tae bali, and set themselves to Hurk At chang
inR babies No less than nfty Infants, between the
g many seconds, and the party made their escape
Just g me anxious mothers, frcah frpm the til
nmpns Q! ne German, were making their Way 70 the
sic1.' Such turning down OF the right counter
panes, and turning up Of the wrong cherubsi It
Ras great transformation scene, better than that
necked RachesA weeping over their changed chill
iren; The Talis Of the chcTuhlm rose above the
swell Of tho orchestra"
How fortunate that such custom had not
come into vogue when we 'were young
How would it be possible for Us to tell
whether We wore ourselves or some one
else, o. who WIS who, or what was what, il
We knew that frequently from even tide to
midnight, in our early infancy we we're thus
dependent on baggage check for our
identity. How would We know We had not
been paid out On a wrong number,
deposited, perchnnee, by a rich
bankezess, as No. %, with ser
wants IN livery, and taken away by a
strolling actress on check. &c to earn our
living behind the footights, all because
Bridget turned the check over and gave
away COS destiny to 2e's offspring. We
treInble to think OF the yet unv1itten and
unnumbered novels that may seize upon
this new style Of performing the maternal
duties, as the ever-ready means Of e1ecting
the denesttn'ent Of tho plot. At times au-
thorn have found it difficult, after rearing
family Of children in company to prove
that one Of them is really the Npsy'a child,
while the true heiress turns up III the per-
son of the much-abusod but angelic latter
denalion who has been brought up by the
witch. Hereafter, the explanation will be
80 simple that none can doubt its veracity.
They we're paid out under the wrong checks
at dancing assembly Of progressive
mAmmas.