, 1870-07-10
T1T-BITS.

ti.t clergyman aSkc,l Lila neiglbor the cA.,,: If
the u{rosr li.s night previous. Tho nei.al.r
hol1ihfl tia clergyman lAy replying tbs: hs
believed Baptist Convention had bacn ii, seq
eion, Us the },a1tiea lad been calling for water
eluce dayl,reak. with which to inmerse theit
rarvhed tlroats.
pr. Ueeclaer often related tic aneetlotc OF
minister wEo preecicltix sermons to show
Who NelclsedcA VA, aud eloseI his last ser
non with the stm1n ~: And so We SEQ,
lre;hren, that we 1ont know who Melchised.k
WAS. ana that il faint no matter"
-Tlo New Yntk Stsn has heading
q. .tuttcd," between tic = Marriages" aad
t.T.a.Ls.'' end tie record, Monday, related
<ieo-gc Field, and Et1ms C. Pastor fua,
Nilsa-a Il. Pa-tor. The inference Is that tie
ladies' tnteu1 TO "scek Srcener Fields asa
Pastors ne".'
~ s1utented hone missionary says ':tLat
t:tre are only tao missionaries 10 twenty
t.aa:ss nd e1nniba1s. Shall wn not i've them
l.sEe- rIpply:' In reply to this iii exchange
ta: t!..t two missionaries. either baked,
p:lt.', or stuffed, are certaisly ''snaH pot.-
toes among such croTl OF hearty eaters,
hna ihtrt ought to be ] railsing for thu
f4.lt.
lilo following Passage occurs in recent
Article in the New York H0rM upon Gustave
Ldu'iart. Do Ia Tcu,lleton. Having stated that
perhaps il wcro better not to recall tic precis,
year OF his birth. ti,a writer goes on : s. .lc-
curacy as to tho years Of comets nay 10 de-
Eitabla in Specific tgeatisea On astronomical
phenomena but wecn the chain!esa ull:id5 Of
the great nAss OF oppressed mankind usa the
dase Of one heavenly omen Of disaster 10 des-
pots az baeis wherefrom to compute t..o
probable date of the next anti-inpertL scroll
Of prophetic ire, it is better for al parties
that the chronology Of orlin1ry reading
should bo mercifnl.y vague. On tile. whole,
We arc inclined to agree with Linn. Seems
remarkably clehr-headed writer, with a neat,
fA4r r1fa rt1$n
4 loving vito at Long branch sill: "Tho
horrid suff makes INC keep M mouth SHUT
Sarcastic husband: 'Yake some Of it homo
with rou,"
:wo clergymeu, one Of whom was remarkable
fssf Ills dry AnmoE aa1 thu other for his pro-
! !ixi.y- Tho former meeting the latter, askl
linn to preach for him at his ~ Preparatory
Lecture" The latter replied that he could
Golden Calf.' :. That's Just tho thing
vas the rejoindes, come aud give US foz.s-
qEa5ter Of it.
- What is often called iaaolencc," eaya
Henry CTabhe Robinson, g is. in fact. The In
cousc.ous CONSCIOUSNESS OF incapaeity-
"A gentleman was praising the beautiful
halr OF lady. when one OF those terrible
children. whom Providence Seems to ha,e
sent Oh earth As scoarges. Of Hypocrisy anu
fasSehooL. exclaimed: My hAir would bs as
Handsome as mammals II she'd let me- take 81
much care OF it as slle takea Of hers- AIanuna
never s:eers iu her h7ir, but always puts it
away in tho wardsobe before she goes to
bod
Having faisl. in the st1ipturai promise thai
~ lie has eo"t, he suali reap. John Atkinson,
| u Lcr Esht1e, Maos., for some duae past 4
dealer in lsaseEt tut di, ines. las haateuel into
business as All undertaken, il order to reap tho
fruits ot Lis recent Industry.
| AT 4 recent Sunday School concert
| speaker asked tho !i,ic boys which they wuult
! prefer to DO, "sseal dollar or ha7e dollar
| stolen fren, them" Immediately hand WIS
raised. and = little urc!li;, eaEdi.!ly answered.
''rlease, sir. ia raadtr ssca a dollar r.
| ~ p,iler walked into Now York brokes'4
to steal coat, not to sell pens, sail tho trc-
ktr. rs he thr1.st him out. Tho following sat-
ulIay ill.,. leIsez alpoara%l i'll all tho Glarics
Of l.'s Sabbath clothes. Vow. sir, he a-ks:.
Attn Ill air of triumph. :. do looA Us thoas,
| L7tk.T. ''you look ~ tAca6h you'd stp.oa
Gi1r- Tln nedser ai.ln't wait.
| "A 'tTdt.; F1tsrh ildy having boeu asked
/ My sLo could endure tbs intcs,aiuaLie seq
iG,'us vi l,rr ptiest, replied that thuy Lo:pel
| pt.laf- let s,r L.r c:crni:y-
| -t:- attempting to ca1Fs : fowl, one day. =
gent. p,sn fo:,sl eo.siIerl.la difficult; N AN.
a1.sirG lie joints. aud exclaimed against tl.o
man WLo hal solI lin, an oil Len for young
chicken, Ny dear, enil tho enra;el mans
wife, don't talk ~ mnsh about Tic aged anil
| fef! ectahle Nr. u. He planted the nrss Hill
Of curn that Was planted i'll onr /. y-n'' II
know that. snarlel h-r hush4l.1, "sud b,-
llerc this hen scratched it up"
"A little sciitso1-hpy III Danvets, N,es.
whcn aekeI i.r hs teacher why wocaea should
not sute- answered: Cause they arc afraij
Of cate1pil.trs.'
y Sunday Sslcol teacher in GaI,asiu, c.
l1mlna County. \. y, on Snndar l4st asked
nire little boy il he hal learned ANYTHING tho
past week, and VAS stunuel by tho answer
ffom the bog that he lad learned ;. never to
trump his Partners ace-'
when General Elnka voice failed him in
his recent Cubau speech, An outsider wascruel
enough to make remark to the effect that
"Another Of the National Blnks lad busted"
The principal occupation Of the '.s,rl Of
the period il said to be to sit at tho window
AID watch for the coming man"
y shcEt tiEe ago. In Delaware Counts, Pa.
t!uaker LADY,. Ii ,lllcn who lad reached tia
re Of ca, accepted the offe: Of man VII,
te'oEfed to tia worlds people" an! ill.,,
lscehytsr7an church, and began to prepare for
the wedding. As us,:al. delegation OF F:i.C,1.
from her met ting waited On her. and rc.u M
at:ated with her for marrying ont OF r1asticy.
lite bride elect heard the visitors pat;eatiy.
ard then eaid: Look here! I've been wait
i'e just sixty years for the meeting to m1c.y
S.e: and il tue meeting don't Ike nc to mary
ut ct it. rSy d"5.t Lte meeting bring aim; Is
tcu.s" That was conclusive, and tho DEL
cEatinu merely rspI,et ''FareweIl!" ald vac-
ish1d.
Why is il Impossible for chickens to haS,
f1:turc esstcrce2 Because they Lave t.lcir
ctrku tUirtctt in this