The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-05-14
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


ssThe passage of the 18th amendment by con-
grsss is the quickest time on record"
Right! And it was accomplished in the asa-
Al hOrse.race fashion. Bribery and corruption
always win.
The same paper alleges in this manner, re-
spectng prominent editor:
NV. T. Dowdall, Esq, editor Of the Peoria
National Democrat paid our town flying visit
on Friday last. He was out on q drumming
tour, we think
Is he a bass or a snare drummist!
The Woodstock Sentinel has a lady CORES.
pondent, who signs herself "Britomarte," and
says "She is neither wife, widow nor maiden"
Is she a-what is il?
The Aarengo Republican says, Mr.. Van Leu.
ven, of that locality, committed suicide by TAX
ing morphine. Before the suicide, the same
day, he ate two breakfasts and two dinners.
Was it not rather his stomach than his mind
that was deranged?
Somebody lately presented the editor of the
Mendoza Chronicle with thing full of horse
radish, and he thus tearfuly expresses his
thanks:
"Whenever we partake of it, gratitude
wells right up into our eyes
The FREE TRADER of this week has half
column headed Cream Of our Exchanges" made
up mainly OF extracts from one paper-the Au-
rora Beacon infer that Osman's Eek
change list" is small one, or that the rest are
-milk.-Nendotn Chaon,cle.
The Chronicle fellow is mad because we didn't
copy from him. We can't help it. He shouldn't
grumble; skim-milk is good enough for most
calves.
The City Council of Morris pay night watch.
man one dollar per- toeek for watching the city
property. He must be very inferior watch
man. or the property isn't very valuable.
The Presbyterian Church at Pontiac has set
apart two pews for the use of the colored PEG.
pie, and thereupon the Peoples Adcocate, a sort
of nondescript concern, raises a doleful howl.
Is the editor of that paper married to negro
wench! If not what ails him ?
The same paper understands that the 'devil
is Dead" his Satanic Malesty's" skeleton having
been found somewhere in Indiana!
Hit -44llae44-e announces that "any number of
Satan's imps can be had at Pontiac" Where
at the Adcocdte Office
The Jacksonville Sentinel, in one of its loos-id
moments, states that
"Now by the substtutions proper for passing
from system of three rectangular coordinate
planes to the polar co.ordinates adopted in thi.
proplem, in the common formula Of integral cal
culus, ds2 equal dx2 y dy2 X dz, we ehtain dss
equal dp2 X p;, eff b2, dm2
al lac
The radicals of Wyandotre, Kansas, are very
mad because the Democrats not only beat them
on every office, but cleaned OUT the radical can.
didate with negro and pesky mean one, at
that. Of course, any negro is good enough tl
beat a radical with. Nothing like carrying the
war into Africa.
Niger at Quincy lately attempted to impose
upon white man, and was beautifully thrashed
The Herold calls it tanning black"
The city of Quincy lately went strongly dem
ocratic, and now the State Sunday School Con
vention is to be held there. They would no,
have gone into radical city Their experience
teaches them radicals are past redemption.
The Freeport Bulletin deplores as natlona
calamity the adjournment of Congress this sum
mer. Probably on the ground that mad dog.
are most dangerous when running at large.
An Alabama correspondent OF the Springfield
Mass Republican says:
Attending court day or two Since, found
three negroes on the Jury white woman in tn,
prisoners box, and a negress ON tn. witness
stand"
And then and there great rejoicing. Tn,
18th amendment is glorious thing!
They are mean up at Aurora that they stes
plants from graves in the cemetery.
The Beac0n say, man is now at Chicago do
ing business He is worth 100000 He wa
poor and lived at Aurora 6etore the war; Doe
that prove that poor men who live at Auror
had better move to Chicago, or does it raise tn
inquiry as to where this 100000 fellow va
sarang the war;
Several gentlemen who formerly lived ia ant
about Aurora, have recently returned from a
extended tour in Kansas. thoroughly disguise,
with that country and completely cured Of tn
Kansas fever.
negro barber at Aurora ha- hurrltied tn
radicals Of that region 10y turuln. nut to b. no
only .couudrel OF the da,k,st dye, 'ut the Or,
prietor OF four wives or more. He was a ,ru
radical, stealing, DC, being his "he-, hold" II
has gone South, and will doubtless soon turn u
as a frst.class radical carpet.bav.er couyre.
man!