davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

A good joke was perpetrated the other
day by a gentleman Of Manchester, who
was a passenger on the train from Boston.
There was some conversation among some
Manchester men on the train in relation
to various churches which were passed on
tho route. On nearing the station ut
Lowell the Jail in that city came iu sight,
when some one who did not know ITS
exact character, exclaimed "What
church is that?' IL guess that's close
communion church" said his ncighbor iu
the next seat, "at any rate it isn't free. l..
will church."
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

Why do certain structures, for instance,
the famous Tower Pisa, reman secure
although they have lost their pcrpendicu.
inrty? Because the line of their centre
OF gravity remains within the buse. The
Tower OF Pisa was built intentionally
inclining to frighten aud s1rpi ise. 1t il
l4O feet high and overhanes its buse l6
feet, At Bologna are two leaning tow
ers, one Of which, the Asinclli, il $50
feet high and 81 feet out of the pcrt ten.
dicular. Tho other. the Ga,isenda, ia
about l3O feet in height uNd inclincs 8
feet from the perpendicular.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

II is an old story. but q good one
which tells OF very negligent man who
was going away on q visit to some
frieuds. His wife extorted from him q
solemn promise that he would abandon
his usual custom, and put on = clean
shirt every day. So she packed a dusen
in his trunk. When he came home
again, bis wife vas glad to perceive be
had grown moro 6eshy but she was
alarmed when, on examining his trunk
she discovered there was not u shirt 10 II
tie had kept bis promise to mount q
clean one evcry day, but he alxays put
it on over the others; and now he va,
sporting around with a whole duxen on
his back Some meu will never let wo
men have their way.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

A story is told Of an ancient A'ohawk
notion that soae great misfortune wou d
happen If any one spoke on Saratoga
Lake. A strong minded English woman
on one occasion, while being ferried over,
insisted upon talking, mud US soon as she
got over in safety she rallied her boat.
man on his superstition. But he had
the best of it, after all, for he at once
replied, "The Great Spirit is merciful,
and knows that white woman canno
hold her tongue"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

SINGULAR COINCIDENCE. The strik-
ing resemblance in personal aud public
character between Washington and Lee
is not the only circumstance that asso
ciates them toge her 10 the memory OF
their oountrymen. The Leesburk (Vs.)
Washingtonian mentions these additional
condolences: That both we're born in
Westmoreland county, Virgiuia; tha,
each married . Custis; that each was q
.prominet, If indeed each was not in many
respects the most prominent 6gurc 10 .
great historical American war and eac''
has Marshall for his historian Chief
Justice Marshall having been the biogra.
pher Of Washington. and Col Charles
Marshall, his relative, having been
assigned the task Of writing the biogra
ply Of Lee.-Republican.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

No woman can be lady who would
wound or mortify another. No mattcr
how beautiful, how refined, how cul,iva-
ted she may be, she is in reality coarse,
aud the innate vulgarity Of her nature
manifests itself hero. Uniformly Kind.
courteous and polite treatment Of all
persons il one Rsark of true woman.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

A little boy, herring his father say.
"There is a time for all things" climbed
up behind his mothers Oh ,ir. aud whis.
pering in her ear. asked: "When 10 tho
proper time for hooking sssar cut Of tive
sugar b0w1?"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08
TERMS or ADvER Using.
A PARsoN.s PrARr,cAL Joxy.- A

A PARsoN.s PgARTicAL JOKE A
clergyman. rather addicted to p,ucti, al
joking, was oure dining ut u c, untry inn.
it was his custom to carry with him on
his. journey , mall vial Of puueent cay.
enne and at the dinner one ot tie ps,iy
asked him for "a pinch or two Of his red
salt" 1t was impaired without o word
OF caution. The potent Fepper was nos
long in making the poor fellows ncQuaint.
anco. His face soon ccnmc scarlet, tho
tonsils OF bis throat began 10 swell, his
eyes began 10 Gil with tears, and he rose
in an agony Of distress and "roarcd like
the great brindle bull in his own cattle
yard ut home" lie caught ut the par
sons suggestion, water" and almost
drained a stone jug which stood upon q
sido table, just replenished with cold
spring water. As sOsn as he could speak
he said to his rural neip phbor:
"Jedediah. for lands sake. docs NV
mouth blaze ?"
"No, Hiram 1t don't but it smokes, [
tell you"
The fiery victim Of the clericu, Joke
stode in front Of the par,on, with "indig.
nation in his aspect" and said
do you know, mister, that | took vou
for a parson p
III am, indeed, an humble member Of
the cloth" was the reply.
'Oi you be, be you? And do you
think it anyhow consistent with your
calling TO travel about the country car.
rying lell fire iu your breeches pocket ?"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

Fulton county, Indiana. has q musical
prodigy in the person Of hoy four years
old who plays difficult operatio selections
on the piano, aud is addicted to marvel.
Gus periOr rnances on the violin.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

The St. Joseph people are proposing
to mine their own coal. and thiak they
can ratSe . home article 10 amPs supply
on . capital ofstA0, ,000 Il Is supposed
TO be abundant at a dcpN Of six hvad.ed
J to thousand feet.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

An Individual who was puzzled 10
know where all the Smiths came from,
has at last solved tho miStcry. At Wa.
terbury, Connecticut on the door of fae
tory appears q sign in,criboa .Smith
Manufacturing Company"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

>"What tipsy .gaiu?" SAID wife to
her husband. mo, my dear," said he
mot tipsy, but a dittle slippery. The
fct is. somebody has been rubbing my
boots till they are as smooth as glass"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

A JOKE ON EDIroRs. Soon after
Chief Justice Chase assumed the cubcr.
material chair in Ohio, he issued his
proclamation appointing q Thanksgiving
day. 10 make sure of being o,thotdox,
the Governor composed lis proclamation
almost exclusively Of passages from the
Bible, which he did not designate as
quotations. presuming that every one
would recognize them, and admire the
fitness Of the words as we'll as his taste
in their selection. The preclamati,n n
meeting the eyes of a Democratic editor,
he pouneed upon it-declared that 10
had read i. before-couldn't say exactly
where-but he would take his oath that
it was downright plagiarism from be.
ginning to end That would have been
a pretty fair joke but the next day the
Republican editor came out valliantlv in
defence of the governor. pronounced the
charge false and libelous. and challenged
any man living to produce one single
line Of the proclamation that had ever
appeared in print before.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-08

Why is pig with a twisted tail like
the ghost 10 Hamlet? Because it could
Q tail unfold.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27

In this rapid age IL Is absolutely necessary for ladies
to keep courant Of what Ia passing In the world
ar ound them.
For this purpose, no medium is 30 coed asa first
cl ass msgs zine.
We recommend TO ladies. who desire one useful and
sensible as we'll as fashionable, DtMoR EsTs 1LlusTRAf
sp MONTHLY, as the very best parior magazine that
we know
1t is more complete in its departments than any
other
Its fashions are more unique, because they are
authentic and original and not bind copeso Of French
and Ger man models.
II gives with every number full sized patterns,
which supply during the year all that any lady needs
for the cutting Of her own and childrep's wardrobe
Its always high toned and u Contributors include
some OF the finest talent In the country.
Its Laoies Club affords valuable and interesting
Information upon every subject.
1t "a the best magazine for the utilities and
mentaton Of the household; the hest magazine for
Horticulture, original music, architecture, sud other
topics interesting to lsdiesa calculated to assist In
making homes attractive aud happy.
1t is the most eutsrprisipg Of oil msgazines, and
gives more than twic. much for the mo6.y.
1t also offers large and magnificent i'arior Steel
Engraving, 2s by as inches, entitled 'Iiie Pnic ON
tn. Fourth OF July, valued vt $1,000, to each sub
sefiber q premium
The engraving IL all done In line and stipple, from
the original painting by Lille NJ spen Ger, and be.
sides the copyr h cost Thousand doilsrs,
aud acknowledged by srtsfs 70 be the most perfect
and beautiful large engraving ever Issued ,n this
country Certainly $40 90 will not procure another
that combines mn IN interest and besuty
Or. II Offers fine Chrome, worth 81 %. and other
premiums worth more than the cost 81 the magazine
subsc iber post free. and riordiDaEy pre-
III iums for eubs
subscription p,ice, $500 per snnuai. Commence al
any time.
lars mailed free on receipt Of Is cts.
Address W.JfsNINGS Z EM0REsT.
s3s Broadway, New York.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27
ADVANCE PAWN ENT.

70 THE PCBLTC:--It h hereby agreed between
Retzer Bros. Publishers OF the fSIa Bfade. Sperry
BARKER Publ. the ioscd Inter ano j. l. NcGor
mack Publisher OF the Marion County Democrat that
ali al the said Papers adopt the Advance Payment
system subscriptions md adhere 10 1t strictly,
herripsfr-r fperifed viz:
After this date OF friu uary .. 1870. no new sub
ecrpon shall received entered for either paper
unless scromps ued by payment ia advance for the
full time for whirh II is entered
On June let 1870 all subscriptions for each OF sal
papers. which all arrearsges have rot been paid
up and advance payment made, shall ne discontinued:
and thereafter the Advance Payment system for
rha he strictly adhered 20, BY all the
esia Payers Without exception
Advance Payments may be received sor - long @
~ short times ~ patropr nsy desire. whether for
vesr or fr any part Of year. but In all cares the
psp.rs shall be discontinued SO soon a. the payment
expires. -,
This Agreement does not preclude either publisher
from accepting any ether than cash payment ON
subscription. provided only that it is In advances
And To the strict tarryipg out OF this Agreement.
each Of the undersigned Is hereby pledged In honor
TO the others and To the public.
Our reasons are, hrify that all our expenses, for
pepper ink. hired help. &c. must be paid currently
10 cash and that supple experience has demonstrated
the Advance Payment system to be better safer and
more scnuouiictl not only for the publishers out
really also for their patrons and we'll for County
papers AZ for others.
And upon this basis we confidently solicit from the
3st.liieent and fsir minded Public that support ard
cement when their Local Press will strive 70
deserve and msy rsasopsbly expect
This agreement to be published continuously ID our
respective papersS
SPEhEY K BARKER. I0ter.
cancelled J. L. MCCORMACK. Dsraorrdt
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27

was gone. She felt that the field Of
her affection was growing more and
more circumscribed every day; bat
once more she frowned down her
relatives and renewed her betrothal.
Shortly before the time set for the
nuptials, another disaster occurred.
There was but one man scalped by
the Owen River Indians last year.
That man was Williamson Brecken-
ridge Caruthers,- of New Jersey. He
was hurrying home, with happiness
in his heart, when he lost his hair
forever; and in that hour of bitterness
he almost cursed the mistaken mercy
that had spared his head.
At last Aurelia is in serious per-
plexity as to what she ought to do.
She still loves her breckenridge, she
writes, with true womanly feeling
she still loves what is left of him
but her parents are bitterly opposed
to the match, because he has no
property. and is disabled from work
ing, and she has not sufficient means
to support both comfortably. "Now
what shall she do::" she asks with
painful and anxious solicitude.
1t is a delicate question; it is one
which involves the lifelong happi-
ness of woman, and that of nearly
two-thirls of a man; and feel that
it would be assuming too great a
responsibility to do more than.make
a mere suggestion in the case. How
would it do to build him: If Aurelia
can afford the expense, let her furnish
her mutilated lover with wooden
arms and wooden legs, and glass
eye and a wig, and give him another
show; give he: ninety days without
grace; and if he does not break his
neck in the meantime, marry him
and take the chances. 1t does not
seem to me that there is much risk,
any way, Aurelia, because If he stick
to his propensity for damaging HIM
self every time he sees a good oppor-
tunity, his next experiment is bound
to finish him; and then you are all
right, you know, married or single.
If married, the wooden legs and
such other valuables as he may
possess, revert to the widow, and
you see you sustain no actual loss
save the cherished fragment of a
noble but most unfortunate husband,
who honestly strove to do right, but
whose extraordinary instincts were
against him. Try it, Maria! I have
thought the matter over carefully
and well, and it is the only chance /
see for you. 1t would have been a
happy conceit on the part of Caruth-
ers if he had started with his neck
and broken that first; but since he
has seen fit to choose different
policy, and string himself out as long
as possible, do not think we ought
to upbraid him for it if he enjoyed it.
We must do the best we can under
the circumstances, and try not to feel
eXasperated at him.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27
DOTY'S WASHING MACHINE,
LATELY MUCH IMpRoyED-AND THE NEW


Improved with RowELL's PATENT DooELE
Coo. wnxELs, and tho PATENT Srop, are now
unquestionably far superior to any apparatus
for washing clothes ever invented, and vii
save their cost twice . year, by saving labor
and clothes.
The Editor Of this paper, who purchased
Washer and Wringer, thus testihes as to
their value:
"Dory's WASHING MACHINE is advertised
in this paper. We have had ono Of tho Ma
chimes on trial now for three weeks; and our
better half says 1t Is the best Washing Ma
chine she ever saw or heard of.--iora Vatsr,
Feb. ", 1870"
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27
81. Radasch,

NflnUIAcTURER sad Dealer 10 Cigar
lVl and Emohsn' Articles, ns1t door to
Lsoleds House, Msin Street. between IiYst
and ssecud Streets, KEoEcK, Iowa.
1~Ths Grsstsst Variety of Plug Tobacco,
Cheaper tAss shs chsspsst. (Sl)
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-10-27

TF you WANT 70 ret ysuS house or Barn
INSURED IN Ssed, rslistIs CenpspJ,
H.P. 6PgRRyis Agent fos susA ssAs.
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

OFFICE OF THE A. G. s.,
FORT PREBLE, Me-, Dec. nth, 1870.
CEALED proposals, in duplicate. OF tie form fur
y nished by The undersigned, will be received un-
til Wednesday, the 18th OF January, 1871, st 10 o.
clock a. m for all the fresh beet required at this
post, tor six months, or such less time as the Com
missary General may direct, commencing February
18th, 1871.
Details and requirements furnished by the under.
signed true copy of the latter with this advertise
ment to be attached to each proposal offered
B. X. ROBERTS,
dc12-6t LIST Lieut., 9th
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
International Steamship Co.
PASSPORT. Calais and st. John.
DIGBY, WINDSOR AND HALIFAX
FdU arrangement
TWO TRIPS PEE WEEK.

On and after MONDAY, October
,h Sd, the Steamer New Brupswick
n, n RTM Capt s. II. Pike, and the steamer
S2 xssA>New York, Capt. L. b. Winches.
ter, will leave Railroad Wharf. loot
Of State street, every MONDAY and THURSDAY.
at o'clock T. nj tor Eastport and st. John.
Returning will leave ST. John and Eastport ON
same days. VII
g Connecting at Eastport with Steamer
QUEEN, for st. Andrews and Calais and with
stations. gu" Aio"''on
Connecting at st. John with the St.aner EN-.
PRESS for Dgby and Annapolis, thence by rail 10
Windsor and HALIFAX. and with the r. X N
Railway for Schediac and intermediate stations and
with rail and steamer for Charottetown- p r
Freight received on days of sailing until n
cock T. Nj. Winter rates will be charged on and
after December 18th. s0N VI anu
sep21istO3oct then os A. STTrppc AGO..
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
Poetry.


Oh! the world Is wide, aud its women arc fair,
And their beauties are all before you;
The azure-eyed with the golden hair,
The dusky orbs and locks are there
To shed their glamour DER you;
Aud ysu are Tree to choose, from amongst them ALL
The one who can most adore you.
From hearts that beat with tropical heat,
Adame at touch with passion,
TO camer ones hat by northern suns
Are fred in a CENTER fashion,
Y.u NAV range at will, tor now you're fre9
Asa nun ming bird or hOney-bee!
Eui whilst you are rowing from flower 10 Hover,
And slipping the honied treasure,
Yo.sa never find in your heart the power
10 taste Of JOYS full measure.
The sweetness all OH your sense snail pail
The honey. dew be turned TO gall,
10 poison be changed the pleasure!
Ttep YOUR soul in its bitterness shall ycarn
For the heart now scOrned and slighted;
once more In your breast shall purely burn
Loves fame by memory lighted.
sha l it burn in vain? BY this paItng pain
shall the flower of my heart be blghted?
no! tor the tears OF faithful years
Shall keep it fresh; and never
IN all the world so wide and fair,
shall YOU ii nd sweetness that can compare
With the love that is yOurs forever! 80
-The GALAXY for January.
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
Dissolution of COp0rtners1tip

II HE copartnership heretofore existing under the
J firm name of G. Rowe & Co., is this day dis
solved by mutu consent. All debts due to and from
authorized to sign the firm name in liquidation. The
business will be continued by CeylOn Rowe and
Edwin g. Rowe, under the firm name of c. q. f. G.
Rowe, CEYLON ROWE.
LEWIS A. SANBORN.
Bethel Noyemt er 2Stb 1870 nov29d3w
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

FALL RIPER LINE.
For New York, Philadelphia. Baltimore wo.h
Ihgy0n, ana all the principal points
West, South and South West
Via Tsuntsn, Fall River and Nevusr,
Cabin, $500; Deck $500. Baggage cbecrss
ths1ugn v and transferred in N Y free Of charge
port Railway Depot, corner of South and Kneeisnd
tSundays excepted as follows: at 20
M arriving in Fall River 40 minutes in advance al
tne regular Steamboat Train, which leaves Boston
AT 0.'sO M, connecting at Fall River with tha
new ana magnificent steamers PRovIDENcE. Capt..
These steamers are the fastest and most reliable,
Doats on the Sound, built expressly Tor spee saetvJ
anu comfort. This line connects with all the South
ern Boats and Railroad Lines from New York eoine,
West and South, and convenient to the Caliiornls.
Steamers. ~>
t'To shippers Of FreiRbt.o this Lima vum
It's new and extensive depht accommodations IN Hns
ton ana large pier in New York. fexclusiyeIv mr. M.
business OF the Lnel is supplied with facilities for
reight and passenger business which cannot be sur
passed Freight always taken at low rates and for
warded with dispatch.
New York Express Train leaves BOSTON nj I N :.
goods arrive in New York next mornnq about 4
A M. Freight leaving New York reaches Boston on.
the following day at 9.45 M.
For tickets, berths and staterooms apply st tina
c0mpany's Office at No Old State House, corner OF
washington and State streets and at Old Colony and
MS%port hailpoad Depot, corner of South and Knee
Steamers leave New York daily, (sundavs excs,..
ed) from Pier 30 North River, loot OF Chsmbsa.
ct, at 500 p N.
GEO. SHIvERICK, Passenger and FREIGHT AGENT
Mr. srpoNs , yJAMES FISK, JR., President
Steamship Co.
Nov5 diyr
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

NOR The Library of Poetry ard Song The hand
+ soonest and cheapest work extant. 1t has some
thing in it of the best for every one-or the DID, the
middle-aged and the young-and must become uni
versally popular. Excepting the Bible, this will be
the book most loved and the most frequently re-
ierred to in the family Every page has passed UNI
der the critical eye oil the great poet
VIM. CULLEN BRYANT.
Rare chance for best agents. The only book OF its
kind ever sold by subscription. Send at once ior
circulars, &c, to
dc1e4w 8 School Street, Boston, Mass.
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
III. 4. HeZ22abOzI's Rose Wash.

An excellent Lotion for diseases arising from habits
Of used in connection with the Extracts
Buchu and Sarsaparilla, in such diseases ssrecom-
liable character will accompany the medicines Also
explicit directions for use, NTH hundreds of thou
SANDS living witnesses, and upwards 80, 900 unso-
many of which are from the highest sources inclnd-
ing eminent Physcions, Clsrgymen. Statesmen, &c.
The Proprietor has never resorted to their publica-
fact that his articles rank Standard Preparations
and do not need to be propped up by certificates.
The Science of Medicine, like the Doric Column,
should stand simple, pure, majestic, having Fact for
its basis. Induction Tor its pillar, and Truth alone
for its Capital.
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
Wanted

nN salary or commission, Agents for the Photo
- graphic Family Record. Something en-
tirely new 1t presents the family in one group,
and exhi bits the memorable incidents of life and
death at glance. Every family is securing one.
EK-Send tor Circular.
REDDING a. CO., Temple Building, 54i Broadway,
New York. dcl7-2t
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
MaxsicOZ Literature.

Beethoven Letters, 1890 1926 cl,th,. $500
' II sc6ee soe eIotb !.cn"aierl ha'ea by MO- m
Lie OF Chopin. By Lizt. Cloth. / 50
Lie OF Handel. By Schoelcher. Cloth. ......2 90
Mozart. Romantic Biography. Clolh, ........1 Is
Letter. ~ 2voIs Cotb Is
Ehlert's Letters on Music Cloth '. 7S
History Of Music: By Ritter. Cloth -. i 30
POlko's Musical Sketches. Cloth. .'' 4 75
Bound uniformly in Cloth. Sent postage paid. on
receipt OF price. f'
OLIVER DITSON & CO., Boston,
dc17tc C. II. DITSON q co. New yorL
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

AFTER January LIT young man OF exr fence
n in the Flour and Grocery business, and with a
thorough acquaintance with the Maine trade, will
be in want OF situation. Can influence trade any
where between Portland and HoultOn. Good refer
ences. ADDRESS, WILTON, box 1882, Bangor, Me.
dcl7t1W 81,
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

Al who have committed an excess OF any ind
het cher it be the solitary vice Of youth, the ting
re rebuke of misplaced confidence in maturer years,
GEEK FOR An ANrIDOTE IN SEASON.
Ths Pains and Aches, and Lassitude and Nervous
Prostitution that may follow Impure Cotton.
sre the Barometer to the whole system.
Do not wait for the contamination that lie sure 70 fl.
low; do not walt for Unsightly Ulcers, for
Disabled Limbs, for Loss Of Beauty
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
Wanted.

A experienced female canvasser in this city DUR
n ing the HOLIDAYS. Extra inducements offered.
II. A. MCKINNEY & CO.,
dc17-1w 2 Elm St., Portland, Maine.
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19

Fine Suburban Residence for Sale.
The subscriber offers for sale his
kMN~N mOdern-buit residence situated on
G4IIlte2 the eminence overlooking Wood
" nISfTil4 ford's Corner, Westbrook. 1t con-
u@l133EsE3l tai0s - goOd-sized rooms, with an
excellent cellar, is supplied with an abundance OF
hard and soft Vater and it is in good state of re-
pair. There Is large stable on the premises. The
grounds embrace two acres, handsomely laid out,
and on which is fine vegetable garden, the vegeta-
bles to be sold with the house.
This of the finest locations in the vicinity OF
POrtland-within five minutes walk of the horse
cas-, and Attending fine view of the city, harbor,
ocean, and the surrounding country. Price $4,000.
One third of the purchase money may remain on
mortgage il desired. Possession given Immediately.
Enquire OF SAML JORDAN, ESQ.
P. S. A grove containing tive acres adjoining on
the SOUTH also an acre OF tage land on the north,
will be sold with the premises, if desired aug25-f
The Portland daily press., 1870-12-19
d" a NTED

dc17-1w