Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1870-01-05
The Lawyers and the Cats.


Two Arkansas lawyers were domesticated
in the rude hotel of country town. The
hotel was crowded, and the room allotted 10
our two heroes was also occupied By six or
eight Others. Shake down beds enough to
accommodate the guest 8, were disposed a
bout the room, against the four walls, leav
ing an open space In the centre of the apart
ment
Judge Clark lay with his head to the
north, on one side, and Judge Thomas lay
with his heai to the south. on the other
side of the room. So far as that room was
concerned, it might be said that their heads
represented the north and south poles, re-
spectively.
All the other beds in the room were occu-
pied. The central part of the room was
deemed neutral ground, in ich the occu-
pants of the different beds had equal rights,
II ere in picturesque confusion, lay the boots,
hats coats and breeches of the sleepers
There were no windows, and though the
door was open, there being no moon, the
night was very dark in that ROOM
The willy lawyers, who had been opposing
counsel in a case tried in the town court
that day, and had opposed each other with
the contumacity of wild pigs, were now the
very incarnation OF meek ness, for when the
hungry swarms of mosquetoes settled down
and bit them on the one cheek, they slowly
| turned the other to be bitten also.
But hush bark F!
A deep sound strikes the ear like rising
knell!
Meow OWL
Judge Clark and Thomas were wide a
wake, and sitting bolt upright in an in
stant.
Again the startling cry
'Ye ow, ye ov y
There's d-il' cat whispered Clark
Scat, you = Kissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to. these demonstra
tions, but gave vent to another. much loud
er yowl.
''Oh, Lord - cried Clark. II can't stand
this Where is she Thomas p
''On your side of the room somewhere,
replied Thomas.
mo she is on your side" said Clark.
"Ye-ow- ow-owi -
.There,I told you she was on your side,
they both exclaimed in breath.
And still the ''yowl' went on.
The idea now entered ihs~heads of boil
| the lawyers, that by the exercise of certaiI
strategy they might DC enabled to execute
certain faux movement on the cat, and to
tally demoraiize him. Practically each de
termined to ''file motion to quash'' th
cat S attachment for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself. and, i
the dark, unable to see each ther,.prepare
for action.
Strange as it may appear, ii is neverthe
less true. that the same plan suggested itseI
to both In words, the plan would be abou
as follows:
The yowler is evidently looking and call
ing for another cat, with whom he has mad
an appointment. win initiate cat, an
this cat ,.ii think the other cats around
This cat viii come toward ne, and when h
shall have arrived within reach, III blaz
away with anything can get hold Of, an
kno X the NEW sic out Of him.
So each of the portly Judges, noislessl
as cream comes from the surface Of the mill
hoisted himself upon his hands and knees
and, hippopotamus fashion advance d to th
neutral ground occupying the central po
tion of the room. Arrived there, Jud2
Clark selected boot jack and Judge Thon
as heavy COW hide boot, from the heal
and settled themselves down to the work.
f Clark tighteued his grasp on the boo
jack, and throwing up his head, gave vel
to prolonged and unearthly 'Ye ow ow !
that would have reflected credit upon ten
the largest kind of cats.
, "Aha," thought Thomas who was NJ
six feet away, 'he is Immediately close
round. Now I'll invagle him!" and
t gave the regular dark night call of fem
uine cat.
Each of the Judges now advanced lit
E closer, and Clark produced question:
e ''Ow ow?"
Thomas answered by reassuring ''Pu
owl pur ow r. and they advanced a lit
? more.
r They were now within easy reach, al
G each imagined the cat had but nome
more to live, whaled away, the ono with
: boot, the other with lis boot jack
. The boot took Clark square in the mout
demoIishing his teeth, and the boot ja
/. came down on Thomas bald head just as
e was in the midst of triumphant "Ye-ow
e When lights were brought the cat hi
, disappeared, but the catastrophy was IN o
5 posite corners of the room, with heels IN Il
air, swearing blue streaks.
An Irish gentleman fought duel Wi
an intimate friend, because he had assert'