The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1870-03-23
Recipe to avoid draughts-DOn't take

Recipe to avoid draughts-Don't take
any.
Waterproof dresses in all coloTs can
soon be had, by new process.
The woman question-can you let me
have - dollars this morning?
A rolling stone isn't the best seat you
can find on the edge of precipice.
When a lady strikes one agreeably, the
blow is supposed to be welcome.
Hens could make piles of money now by
paying strict attention to business.
No man ever yet worshipped God truly
that did not first worship some woman.
A Mobile youth recently read fran his
Bible Let not the wicked trump over
me-"
Velvet sacks are much worn" said
young lady on discovering a hole in the
sleeve of her Sunday best"
An Englishman has turned his attention
to securing a barn full of snakes, buying
all kinds and sizes offered.
A Salt Lake paper knows of one Nor
mon family that has buried one hundred
and forty-eight children.
The Wyoming-girls can vote at eighteen,
but the Wyoming BOYS must wait until
they are twenty-one, ike the rest of us.
1t is said that the finest entertainment
one can enjoy at a feast is to see bun
dance (abunpance) on the table.
Our devil has wrought out new saw:
"He who by his biz would rise,
Must either burst or advertise"
An old lady who imagined that the sea
must be very dirty, because so many peo-
pie batAed in it, was consoled on being
informed that it washed upon the beach
every morning.
A country hummer who had deserted
his family, recently sent the following let
ter to his wife: lime coming hum mex
week monday, and have furgiv you fur
iawin me, lie come on the ok trane &
shill stay to hum hereaftur and try to be
a altered man, want peece & so do you,
why shoodns. we love each urther as we
used ter we was fust lined together, i've
sined the pledge but if you ever Jaw me
agin fur comm hum tite lie wallup you for
we must have peece. N. B. have fish fur
supper when I git hum, I allwus did love
fish speshly tomkods" He came home
"tite, "and was sent to Jail the next day
for ''walluping" his wife.
When may man be ssrictly said to in
the habit of always keeping his word p
When nobodp will ever take it.
ITO be truly polite" says French wri-
ter, ga man must be dupe and sometimes
a martyr" In exemplifcation of this
great principle, he tells q story of a French
nobleman who visiting an English noble
man in London, was offered by the latter
glass of excellent port wsne." The
Englishman's butler made a mistake, how
ever, and somehow filled the visitors with
ood-liver oil This did not prevent the
Frenchman from swallowing the liquid
presented to him. He drank up the whole
we are told, without shunner, and said
it was indeed excellent. ga here" contin-
ues the writer with enthusiasm, "you see
the well-bred man p
A darkey returning from church, was
asked to give an account of the sermon.
"Well, sab, de sermon was upon de mira
Gle OBJ de loaves and de fishes. De minis
ter said how der was seven thousand
loaves, and five thousand fishes divided
between the twelve 'postles." "Well,
what miracle was there about that p
why, sab de miracle was dey didn't
bust dats my perception OBJ de circum-
stance"
Wills, WoNTs AND CANTs-Somebody
says there are three kinds of men in this
world.-the willis" the "Wonts," and
the Giants" The first effect everything,
the second oppose everything, and the last
fassl in everything. 81 WHIP builds our
railroads and steamboats, 81 Won't" don't
believe in experiments and nonsense
while 81 Can't grows weeds for wheat
and commonly ends his days in the slow
digestion of a court or bankruptcy.
"Are you looking for any one in partic'
lar?' as the rat said when he saw the cal
Watching for him.
Dear me p exclaimed Stiguins, "that
new surgeon gave Sqantum's boy a new
lip from the child's own check What 6
painful operation it must have been p
ave had pair of lips taken from my
cheek more than once" replied Mrs. Stig
gins. "and it wasd't painful operation a
all"
GENERosITY.-A young gentleman re
Gently found himself in the company o
three young ladies, and generously divided
an orange between them. "You will rol
yourself" exclaimed one of the damsels
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