Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1870-08-13
4 wedding Night Incident.

It wasn't hardly the fair thing that the
boys didto Joe Thompson the mig ght he was
married, but the temptation was irresisti.
bic. They could not have helped il 10
have saved their lives. I'll tell you how
it was:
Joe was about the most fancy dressed
chap in town-over nice and PARTICULAR
perfect Miss Nancy in manter, always
putting on airs, aud more dainty and
modest than girl. Well, when his we'd.
ding night came he was dressed, trunk
te0Pt3, esd Bio pants especially, ftted him
~ If they had been molds, aud bis legs
candles, and run into them. Tight was no
name for them. Their set was immense,
and be was prouder than half dozen pea
cocks.
"Aren't they nice, boys? ?" he asked of
the two who were to be groomsmen, and
see that he threw himself away in the
most approved fashion.
"Stunnin Gorgeous !" replied Tom
Bennett. "Never saw anything equal to
them. But I say, Joe, aren't they just
the least bit tight? It strikes me that
you will find some difficulty in bending,
won't you ?"
Pshaw, no! They are as easy as an
old glove. Seew
To prove the matter he bent down so as
to touch his patent feathers, when crack
crack followed like the twin report of
revolver.
"Thunder exclaimed Joe, as he
clasped his hands behind and found rent
in the cashmere from stem % stern.
Thunder the pants have burst, and
what shall do!"
II should think they had" answered
Tom, getting purple in the face as he en-.
deavored to control his laughter. "But
there is no time to get another pair. 1t
only wants half an hour to the stand up
time, and we have mile to 60. Carriage
waiting, too"
What shall I do? what shall I do ?"
"Tll tell you what, Joe, if mine would
fit, you should have them and welcome,
but they are mile too big. I see no way
but to have them mended."
"Who can get to do it, Tom?"
"Well, l am something of tailor, and
can fix them SO they won't show. Hold
on a minute, and I'll get o needle and
thread"
"Can you? May Heaven bless you ~
"Off with your coat" commanded Tom,
as he came back. "Now lay yourself over
on the bed, and fix you 10 short order"
The command was obeyed-the pants
mended-the coat tails carefully pinned
over, so as to conceal the distress for
rent" aud all went merry as marriage
bell, until Joe followed his blushing bride
to the natal couch.
There was only dim light in the room,
but it enabled Joe, As he glanced bashfully
around, to see the sweetest face in the
world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips, the
lovely and loving blue eyes, and the golden
curls just peeping out from the snowy
sheets, and he extinguished it altogether.
aud fastened to disrobe himself. OF
came coat, vest, fancy necktie and collar,
boots and socks in a hurry but somehow
the pants stuck. The more he tried. the
more they wouldn't come, and he tugged
vainly for half an hour.
Thunder muttered joe
"What is the matter, dear!" came in
the softest Of accents from the bed, where
somebody was wondering what it was tha.
annoyed him.
1t was moment Of desperation. Joe
Was entirely overcome BY the situation,
and forgetting his bashfuluess, blurted
out:
MOLLY, that cursed Tom Bennett has
seved my pants. drawers, shirt and under
shir, all together!'
at 10 too bad. Wait . moment, dear"
A little ssockingless foot 6rss peeped out
then rufled night dress, the lamp was
lighted, pair Of scissors found, and Joe
released, mentally vOwing tha. If ever he
got the opportunity he would pay his
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