The Placer herald., 1870-10-15
TERENCE MIGRANT.
ThrOuble Again. .Fishk Abusing Ulisses...
Bridget on the War.Path.
LONG BRANCH. Siptim

| MISTHER PCMMERY-W G are still here,
lallygagging on the bache and thriving to
serve out our allotted time until the firsht OF
October, whin we shall be free again and LA
BILE to go anywhere we may be invited, wild
out being abliged to ak ovid Bradley, who
gave us this house here. If ony Jerseyman
iver gets me cousin Ulisses to accept pris-
ent, on conditions, be jabers it will not be
wild me consent, nor Bridgcts aither
doubt if money would hire Bridget to shtay
here another summer, the society not being
that she is accustomed to- Give her nice
shanty on railroad thrack, with nice
patch of praties and an Elegant pig, besides
her own Terence, and she is far happier than
in her prisint Responsible position as wife Of
the Assistant Prisident wild ovid Dent and
me cousin Ulissus growing around livery
time the tay or the sugar is out, and they
have to buy more. Arrah, sir, position is a
foine thing but it don't always bring happi-
ness, as the furrows on me brow, where
Bridget hit me wild shovel, testimony
Me cousin is having the divil's own throub-
bic again, be confding in politicians, and if
the newspapers don't kape aisy about telling
livery thing they know about us, there will
be gineral suppression of thin. Fhat the
dlvll is the use Of newspapers, ony way,
only to publish family sacrets, and advertise
patent medicins Me cousin is on sick
bed to-day, laying on a workbench in the
barn, just from overwork of the brain, thry-
ing to think of some way to counteract the
shtory that is going around the papers. Ye
see, whin me cousins friend, Rawlins, was
afther dying, and they got up subscription
to lave a legacy to his wildly, me cousin sub
scribed thousand dollars, on the express
understanding that the money should be
paid be Fishk and Gould, those AIRY railroad
chaps. He is moishty free wild money whin
ony one dies, and some one else will pay his
subscription, and these men wanted to pay
it, and me cousin let them because he thought
he was comforting great honor on thin, and
thought they would be aisy and kape shtill
about it. Ony quantity of loyal paple wrote
till me cousin and complimented him on his
liberality, and he thought that was the ind
of it. But that good speculation me cousin
and Corbin and thin fellows wint into, ye
mind, was not afther proving remunera-
tive enterprise, and they blamed me cousin
for bushting the bubble, and since that, be
gorra, they haven't thried to kape ony secret
to thimseves, and the lasht thing they have
done, afther bringing a regiment of blood
thirsty soldiers here to schare him, was to
60 and tell all about how they paid the mon
ey for me cousin. He denied it, but pape
wouldn't behave him, and now these divils
come out and publish the checks be which
they paid the money. Now me cousin says
that if they paid it they did so widout his
knowledge and consint. He says he don't
suppose onybody will behave him, but that
is the besht he can do. Bridget has unfold
ed a plan to me cousin be which he can be
revinged on Fishk, and we shall thry it ony-
how 1t is this Ye see Fishk kapes an
opera-house IN New York, and paplc say he
is moighty aisy to be impressed wild the
charms of the famal sex. Now, Bridget
proposes, and she is the divils own girl on
shtrategy-she proposes to go to New York
and get an engagement as a dancer in opera
bouffer-arrah, sir, she can dance a howl
through hure, i'll the wink of yer eyebrow
During her engagement she is to make her
self agrayabe to Fishk-ye know how it is
yerself-and so work on his tinder sinsibil-
ties that he will fall an aisy captive at her
feet, declare his love, and propose to her to
fly wild him to where the woodbine twineth,
and there revel in sweet communion-you
know--to wander in grassy shades and
pleasant dells, in shady hooks by babbling
brooks, and the like, as ye can asily imag-
,ine-in fact, have high ovid time giner-
ally, as Fishk always does. Well We see,
at this pint Bridget is to put on airs, fall
back on her dignity, be insulted, and shwear
Vengeance, and shed tears, and blubber
around, and at a preconcerted signal | am
to rush in as the injured husband, sthrike
an attitude, put a head on him, and challenge
him to mortal combat, whin | can aisily fix
him for an arishtocratc funeral. think
Vengeance that iver was planned, and if it
proves success | am to have ony office
will ashk for and me cousin says, ather way
it terminates he will be the gamer. BE gor-
ra, wonder if he thinks Fishk ma kill me
Onyway, Bridget shtarts for New York to-
night, and follow in few days. l have a
little mather to settle wild Fishk meself for
setting me on a prize-fghter here not long
since, and making me behave it was little
George Wilkes, that me cousin gave me a
commission to thrash, and l got whipped
mosht Elegantly.
Me cousin Ulisses has some other throuble
that he can't take ony comfort wild. Ye
mind told yez how he recognized the Frnch
Republic, because he got his pay in advance,
in goold. That was great mishtake on
me cousins part. He thought be doing the
lokes of that he conld secure the Frinch vote
in this country, but be jabers, in securing
moighty shmall Frinch vote and somefhat
goold, he has losht the extinsive lager-biel
vote. The Germans are writing lethers from
all parts of this disthracted country to me
cousin, shwearing they niver will vote fol
him for onything again, and he feels the loss
moightily. Take this disappointment witt
the idea of nominating nager for Vice
President, which is being freely discussed b.