Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-09-04
CONNUBIALITIES.

, I'll couldn't, how could 2 could you2
At eve he tied under my chin
| Ny hood with its bright ribbons blue;
Why he gazed into my face, could tell 2
couldn't, how could II could you?
He told me my eyes were SO black,
The brightest Of any he knew;
blusned and looked down; could help 1t
| III couldn't, how could could You
. He left on my cheek warm kiss,
Then of with the lightnings speed few;
II could I'd have scolded and stampt;
III couldn't, how could E? could you
Twas long years ago, and since then
| He has spoken words loving and true;
1 only leaned close to his breast
For how could help 1t could you q?
You can't marry a-miss if you marry
widow
'sNo honeymoon" is the last marriage
announcement.
A widower was recently rejected by
been warmed over"
An old bachelor says women are like
parrots; they are willing to be Gagged up
if they only have ring to play with.
A young man recently married in Be
lott helped his wife, while counting, to
sew together rags enough to make sixty
yards of carpet.
| A young lady, about to be married,
says she will not promise TO Glove, honor
and obey" but will say instead, Glove,
honor and be gay"
An anti-matrimonial society is an Indi-
ana notion. They think marriage a use
less expense when you're bound to be di-
vorced in q month.
"What would you be, dearest" said
Walter TO his sweetheart, 'if i was to
press the seal of love upon those sealing
wax lips2" 81 should be stationary"
At late fashionable wedding the bri- |
dial party being little dilatory, the organ
ist played, ''Eager to meet thee, love-"
and again, the lovers not coming, he |
| sounded forth, ''Robin's not here"
"Wife, " said broker a few days since,
edo you think shall ever be worth fifty |
thousand dolIars2" 'tAin't l worth that |
to you?" said the confding spouse.
''Y -e-s,n said the other half; "but l |
can't put you out at interest,""
It's not speakin' ill of the place to say
that its Pekin, ILL.,, where the young
lady resided, who, few days since, was
divorced from her third husband, met,
loved and married her fourth, and started
East on her bridal tour-all within seven
| hours.
A rich heiress of France was betrothed
to an aristocratic young officer of high
rank in the French army. AT the first
| indication of war the young officer, whose
nuptials were to be celebrated at an early
day, resigned his commission. On hear
ing this his betrothed Sent him the follow
ing laconic letter: 81 had intended to
marry man. You are not even woman.
Count no longer on me-"
A sagacious "court" down in Georgia |
has ruled that ga bachelor is the head of
a family" whereupon the Albany Argus
calculates, 'Iet that prosecuted individ-
ual, the unmarried man, rejoice" We
doubt if ''the prosecuted individual will
look upon this family decision Sin that
light" 1t may be true that some bache.
lors are the ''heads of families" but such
usually take great pains to conceal the
fact They don't like to assume the Gre
sponsibilities.
A Welshman, at Toledo, Ohio, who has
suffered good deal from companionship
with a quarrelsome wife, read in one of
the New York weekles that husband
might pull the ears of his domestic part
ner without fear of the law. The next
occasion that offered he seized the unfor-
tunate woman by the ears and squeezed
them until she fell upon the floor insensi-
BILE. When arrested afterward, he pro-
duced the dirty piece of newspaper from
which he had taken his cue. There was
good deal of laughter, but the Judge be-
ing old and testy, could not see the joke
and imposed a heavy fine upon the pris-
oner.
A bachelor on Twenty seventh street,
New York, had the blues, and applied to
q doctor for some medicine. The doctor
inquired into his case and wrote pre-
scription in Latin, which the bachelor took
to drugstore. Translated, the prescrip-
ton read, Seventeen yards of silk, with
a woman in it. " The bachelor proposed
to lady that evening and was married in
two weeks.
A venerable, gray-haired citizen resid-
ing in Cambridge, Mass, felt aggrieved
with his better half for some shortcoming, |
and to revenge himself, he took valuable
gold watch he had given her after
the marriage ceremony, which he
carried to Boston to sell, CIV
ing as a reason that he had no
|
inquiries made for it, which brought forth
the acknowledgement of the aged culprit
that he had sold it, and was now square"
with his wife for her cOntumaciOus con-
duct. The wife heard the husbands
b0asting of what he had done without re-
| ply, reserving it to herself to get Square"
| with him, which she did. by taking his
false teeth from his sleeping-rOOm while
he was lost to all earthly movements. 1t
was her turn in the morning to chuckle
when ''my lord" came down to breakfast
only to look upon the tempting viands and
| hastily depart for Boston in quest of the
watch, with which he soon returned, the
wife restoring him his artificial mastica
tors, the old gentleman promising never
to trifle with the wife's feelings or her
property again.
The following touching epitaph is to be
found inscribed on a tombstone in down
East graveyard:
To the memory of
TABITHA,
Wife of Moses Skinner, Esq, the gentle
manly editor of the Trombone.
A kind mother and exemplary
wife.
Terms 81 a year, invariably in ad-
vance, Office over Hans grocery, up
two flights.
Knock hard.
I'VE shall miss thee.
We shall miss the
Job Printing solicited.
THE HEART THRoE.
never gave thee cause to break
Thy so freely given;
never thought that thou wouldst make
This heart so desoate, or shake
My souls belief in heaven!
never thought thou woudst be one
To blast me with look Of scorn.
What to thee have ever done
To turn thy very heart to stone,
Or plant in mine q thorn
What have done, that thou shouldst wiring
These tears, that will unbidden start
Is there no balm to heal the sting
That thy cold look will always bring,
And chill the hfe-blood of my heart
No! but in after years, when
Shall be forgotten-thou shalt see
From other realms beyond the sky
Ny spirit from its home on high
In visions bright watch over thee!