Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1870-10-28

eter stand?p
Against the wall, dad" .........
II mean, how is the mercury 7"
II guess it's pretty we'll" .....
"lou little rascal, Is it not colder
than yesterday % ..... ...
l don't know, dad but I'll go
and feel.
-Itincrant quacks find Pennsyl-
vania an Improbable field for opera.
tons, on account of the vigorous en-
forcement of an act passed by the
last Legislature, which prevents trav.
cling doctors from practicing in any
county without paying a special lie
ence of S3r0.
We wish iowa laws were just as
severe on these nulsances.
A woman went to circus i'm Ter
re Haute, accompanied 10y eleven
children, and, when neighbor
asked her where the old man was,
she said he was at home taking care
of the children. Another neighhor
called at the house, aud seeing the
old maa trying to amuse nine young
ones, asked where the old lady was.
lie said he had let her go to the cir
Gus with the children. "
1t is related that as some friends
of Campbell, the author of "Hohenl-
den,n were leaving his room after n
Late supper, one of the number had
the misfortune to fall to fall down n
long fight Of stairs. The poet,
alarmed by the noise, opened the
door and enquired, "What's that ?"
"'Tis !, sir, rolling rapidly" was the
immediate reply Of the fallen friend.
Gen. Sheridan has written let
ter to friend in Washington, In
which he says there is the same per-
centage of desertion and shirking
from military duty in the German
and French armies MS there was ia
the United States army during .he
late civil war, and speaks of the fall
of Paris as merely question of time.
During the late freshet in Vir-
ginia, and old negro woman living
i'm the upper Shenandoa was washed
away In her cabin, and hHated down
with the food hundred miles before
she was rescued. Upon being re-
leased che smilingly remarked :
"Bless your soul, honey ; neber see
such times. / done bin furder from
home than / ever was afore, and seed
heepo places whar 1 didn't know
the name on"
AN Indiana girl, who had been
loving a fellow mot wisely but too
we'll" and fearing her mother would
find out what was the matter, rode
twenty miles, with revolver In her
hand. to where the fellow was chop.
ping in the woods, and told him ii
he didn't marry her she would make
a tunnel through him. The we'd
ding came Off that afternoon. lie
said he never would quarrel with a
woman about a little thing like that.
Why will men be naughty, and
neglect the sweets of domestic life
for the bitter waters Of the tavern
There was Tommy B., who, one
night, returned to his domicil In a
state Of uncertainty that was ridien-
lous. Pushing heavily against the
door, it opened, and Tommy fell
sprawliug heavily across the thresh-
old. His prolonged but Intellectual
efforts TO regain an erect position
aroused his wife, in bed In the next
room, who said: Tommy, is that
you? What is the matter ~ To
which the inehriated Thomas ans
wered: "Yes, it's me; nothin's the
matter 'cept this ere bees got too
much honey on its wings to gig gin
into the hive ~
"A few Sundays ngo, as Dir.
Beeclier was about commencing his
sermon, q stout, falhcrly looking
man was endeavoring to make his
way through the crowd to get within
better hearing distance of the dis
tinguished orator. AT that moment
Mr. Beecher's voice rang out the
words Of the text: "Who art thou ~
"What ut thou ~ again cried out
the dramatic preacher.
/ The stout party thinking himself
| in the wrong. perhaps, by pressing
forward, and believing himself to be
personally addressed, startled tho
brethren aud non .plused their reyer-
end chieftain by sedately replying :
.I'm a big merchant from Chicago
sir. hope you ant mad. There
ant nary chair or else I'd u sot
/ down.
4 Plymouth church didn't recover
it's serenity for ten minutes.