The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-08-21
Morning Star and Catholic Messenger.
NV ORLEANS. SUNDAY. 41s1sT 3, ;s5o
WIT AND w1sDom.


M What is that which by losing an eve hs
nothing but nose left A noise.
Ii One kind of high living that does nc
produce the gout-Living in garrett.
Because horses are used to reins. it doe
* not follow that they are unaffected by we
weather. ~ W.
Scandal, like kite, to fly we'll depend
greatly on the length Of the tale it has t
Ecarry. '-'''
Why are military officers the most un
SucA yot men Because they are Away
~ some mess or other.
4eaiiy believe that crocodiles shed tears
AOf ne had often seen whales blubber.
a deaf man has been appointed Judge O
mississippi court. He will probably looI
put for the interests of the defendants.
The age of a lady is now expressed &C.
cordlng to the present style of skirts by
wing, eighteen springs have passed ove1
The following is a copy of a letter re.
ceAved by village schoolmaster: "Sur, as
! Yen are man of noledge, intend to enter
- son in yoar skull"
Ehe Salem Standard speaks of lady
"died a few days since from injuries
e1ved by falling from q cherry tree in
torty ninth year of her age"
Please, sir, I don't think Mr.. Doseim
ZEE his physic reglar," said DOCTORS bow
It us employer. "Why SO ~ "'Cause w
getting well SO precious fast" -
An admirer of dogs having had new
iis1er OF fine breed, friend wished him to
de1n for one great while ago." was the
aver.
The Rocky Mounta in-Neys tells of an, en-
ptastic young Missouriap who, eulogiz-
the beauty of his "gal," said, "I'li be
goned if she ant as pretty as a red
bWgSOn."
little girl in school gave as definition
Ntg bearing false witness against thy
labor" that it was when nobody did
a4yehlng and somebody went and told
ASpnt it."
The answer lately given in a French
$500 BY prisoner accused of almost cut
'0n3 his wife to pieces was, with a smile.
Well, Monsieur lie President. you know
10y one has his little falling"
Scotch paper tells the story of a farmer
EgA4 after the burial of his wife, drove a
e4 bargain with the gravedigger, who,
18lng his hand down on the shovel. ex-
ned, Down VII anither shillin' or up
eomes."
- Walter Scott once lent a book to a
and as he gave it to him, begged |
he would not fail to return it, adding |
e@-humoredly, /" Although most of my
is are bad arithmeticians, they are all |
4Q& book keepers."
ESsSs May ask the time of day, sir ~ asked
sanger of Mr.. Buffers. "By all means.
III ipy all MEANS" replied the amiable Mr..
HSlbrs well, sir, what time is it ~
H5HOn my word don't know. have not
the time lately"
s41 say, Jim, they tell me there is a man
SSA East that is 30 industrious that he
! Is twenty-five hours a day" Chow is
Cnffy There are only twenty -four
go in a day" "Why, he gets Hp an
e before daylight, you stupid Niger"
saa fop was riding very fine horse,
rs and pretty lady was evidently ad- !;
ing the animal, when he stopped and =
AGentiy asked, "Are you admiring me, ;
No." was the ready reply, "i +
- Admiring the horse, not the donkey" =,
&A gentleman breakfasting at railway 3
ON refreshment-room notorious for bad r
sSsr, asked for tea, etc. "Any butter, I
said the waiter; otis frst-class, sir" +
xek first rate, Charley" said friend, who +
% Just then partaking of tea I" it's of the v
hast rank" =
~ Fellow, having a spite at sausage
saker, rushed into his shop, when crowded "
'2s1g customers, threw large dead cat IL
Fpn the counter, and said, "That makes g
Heteen. Wen settle when you're not so il
neyY and made his exit. He was, of NJ
SRrse, followed by the sausage amateurs, ci
ppsy handed. b.
Lille and her brother called at house al
sheir way to school, one cold morning, o.
warm themselves. Some doubts were &c
pressed as to her brother being old I'll
songh to attend school. "Oh, yes" said
lily, he is six and mother says if he er
lan't been sick he would be as much as be
ven or eight" til
my brethren" said country preacher, IA
gFe cannot sufficiently marvel at the wise OF
sethought of Divine Providence in placing oC
nth at the end of life, in order to give us WI
ne to prepare for it." elbow very well I'll
u preached to day" said the old on
lies on going out of church, thankful u, IN
nt life did not begin instead of end with ~ us
9Th. LOT
q certain genial, bald-headed gentleman, ie
sile in Paris, went one day to the Zoolo- ri
al Garden. The weather was oppressive, fel
q he lay down upon a bench. Pre- ex
stly he went to sleep, but was soon
Eakened by warmth about the head.
infatuated ostrich had come along and, are
Stalking his bald head for an egg, settled uu
'Fn with the determination to hatch it sPl
aG'
LAST week a gentleman of this city was ev,
hdering over what to give young lady The
End, and at last decided it should be a mn
3. "Now, my dear friend, what kind am
s ring would you like . 1t is SO very to
Ezling; there are so many sorts" Well, mo
johnson, one, you know, don't like his
make choice in these matters-little II
icate, you understanding really, if as