The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-01-27
Josh Billings Papers-Female
Remarks.

Dear gurlS are yu in sarch ov huz-
band? This is pumper and you are !
not required to say "Ycs," out loud, !
but are expedited tn throw your eyes
down onto the earth, az 9ho You was
Iookin for pin, and reply to the inter
rogatory with kind of draulia sigh,
as tho yu vas eating an oyster, juice
and all, offrom the half shell.
Not to press so tender theme until
It bcLums q thorn in the flesh, we will
presume (lew avoid argumcnt) that yu
are on the lookout for sumthing in the
male line to boost yn up in the uphill
~ life, and tn keep his eyes on the
br;tchin when w begin to 90 down he
other side ov the mountain. Let me
! givyu sum small chuhkssov advice how
to spoty uro fu!er huzband.
The man who is jelIus Of every little
attenshun which yu may git from sum
other Teller, yu will find after yu are
mprricd to him, luvs himself more than
he duz yu, and what yu mistook for
solissitudey u will diskover has chang
cd to Indifference Jellussy isn't a
1 heart disease; il is q liver complaint.
A mustash is Indispensable, it is on
|. " little more hair and is good deal
i like moss and other cXcrcsence3--olten
! duz the best on soil that won't Iaizc
Anything else. Don't forgit that
those things which yu admire in al
phci.oW before marriage, yu will prob
ably hev to admire in husband after
ward, and u mustash will get to be very
weak diet after long time
|, Il huzbunds could be took on trial
~ irish cooks are, two-thirds Of them
would probably be returned but there
8 dou' seem TO be. emmy law for this.
Therefore, purIs w will see that after
yu git q man yu hey got tn keep him,
even if you loose Oh him. Conse-
syQncHJIy if you hey got emmy kold Wit.
| Ties in the house, try him on them,
once in while during securing season
and if lie swaIcrs them well, and SCI
he will take sum more, lie IS q man
, who, when blue Monday Gums, vii!
, wash well.
7 Don't marry a phcllow who is al
+, ways telin how biz mother duz things
,, 1t is as hard tn suit these men as it is
! tn wean young one.
1t is one Ofthc most tuiicst things
for n female to be IN old maid success,
rully. \ CRATE mcny hez tried it and
made a bad job Oft Every body seems
to look upon old maids just as tina do
upon dried harbs--n the garrc,, handy
for sicEncsa--and therefore, girls, it
4 amt mistake that yu should be wilIin
d to swop yourself oph for sum trcw
/, fellow for a husband. The swop is u
D. rood one, but don't swop for emmy
If man who is respected jist because biz
T. father H. u had better be ;HI ole
maid for 4 thousand Years and then
line the Shakers, than tew buy rcpcn-
- lance at this price. No woman ever
q made this trade who didn't git either Il
@ phool, mean cuss, or clown for 4
p, huzbaud
In digging down into this subject i
find the digging grows .harder the fur
] cher git. 1t is much easier tcw in.
form va who not TO marry than who tc,
for the reason thnre i'd more ov them.
don't think You will follow mi ad-
J wise if civ il; and, therefore, i will
keep it, for look upon advise AS do
II upon castor oil ii mean dose to give
} and mean dose to take.
o. lblN HlloL HdN WV 'liiIg, gus VI
II Spite. lryou 2an find Albright eyed,
" healthy and wcll-ballasttd boy, who
looks upon poverty rs sassy AZ child
" looks upon wcaIth--who had rather
e sit down on the curl stun in front oy
q the 9th avenue hotel, and eat ham
Is sandwich than tn go inside and run in
e debt for his dinner and toothpick-onc
: who IL armed with that kind ov pluck
1t that mstakcsa defeat for victory
{ mi advise Is tn take him body and soul
u snare him at INST, for he is stray trout
, of breed very skase in our waters
= Take him say, and bid onto him as
hornets bid onto \ trec..-N y Week.
IT,
----------zn o s.
One of the leading Eastern railways
k has an arrangement nearly completed
to issue through tickets ny rail and
. | gt.lupr 'rnnnI tho world Thr whOln