The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1870-01-28

1--WE got to Ioway, as I was sayin', and
the boss was mighty teary one night lie
had a swivel.eye, and was hot when he was
drunk. and he Civ us partickler deviltry,
which no man bankers fur if he don't de-
serve il. which we didn't; and that night
Canvas comes 10 me, and says he, Centre
pole. 1 amt q goin' to sling this cart any
more And / says to him, 'Why2' No
man. says he, can drive over me with
sharp-corked horses Which l knew then
he meent to leave the show, and bound to
line him ANYWAY. And he says TO me-
There's an old pard Of mine here, and he
saws as how there's o Guv'ment train goin'
to start from Omaha next week, and we can
get q Job there to go to the Injun country.
Well, Canvas, says /, kinder slowly like,
If you goes, L goes All right says he.
1 couldn't help wishin' twas somers else
than the Ipjun country, for / had heard
them critters was lightnin' to fight, and ate
M the dead 'uns. It's all we'll enough TO
stay at home and talk about IL; but when
il comes to goin', it's q horse OF another
color"
you Transfers have o strange, wander
ing life. How do you manage to live sor
I'Most fellers as comes out TO work or
drive has run away from the East for rob
bin of murders. And can't stay IN no one
place; IL haunts them all the time,aud they
must keep a goin.' But | never did no such
thing. Have you ever been in the lnjun
country"
Never in my life; but Ihsvo often wish
ed to-" .
"You had better stow that, and keep out
of IL. It's attemptin' Providence and many
red devils, to 60 there. But, as / was say
in. we squared up with the boss-which
there wasn't much like sailors, and never
had a dollar in the dunnage-box-and 1t
don't take much drinkin, and dancin, and
poker 10 clean q Teller out. But we got
away from there, and got to Omaha the best
we could-there WASH any railroads in
them days-and Canvas and me wasn't long
in hiring out ter drive; for some o them
puv'ment soiers-partickly them as has
dirty uniforms-has q buggered smart eye
10 pick out a Teller rs knows his biz and
they see at onct as how Canvas and me
saveyed bosses up to the handle-which 1t
was true, though 1 say it, for Canvas and
me had saveyed bosses ever since we was
knee-high' to a snipe-7nd some o them
I drivers didn't know no more about bosses
than n dog does the price Of hymn books"
"what made you and Canvas such
friends?"
"waal, you see, we had padded togeth-
err, and was made TO 60 to in double har-
ness. Don't you know that Natur' makes
everything ia pair2 And some men gifts
married-which l never could aence that
city chap carried of Melia, and which is
resky, any how, cause one or t'other is
bound to kick over the pole or bust the
breechin'; but there's some as glts to be
pards, and them's better nor man and wife.
And old Canvas, he onst saved my life
when / was attacked by a euchre-slingeI
in Chicago, which l sometimes think he
didn't ought ter, as / hain't been with
much 10 nobody"
"But," said /, 'there's always something
for a man 10 do, ifhe only knows it."
And the teamster drained his glass, and
answered:
you're right, there, but it's lucky il
anybody can find It out, If he onst gifts
down like. You amt O gettin' tired, are
We? I'll go through the rest like the Ter
Commandments through a Sunday school
'By no means; it interests me very
much"
"waal, we started on our trip, and wal
/, bound for Arizona; twenty-eight wagons
! four a~mb1ances, and two companies ofcay
T airy q right smart line OF us. IL amt very
interetsin', goin' over the Plains; nothin
, but sage-brush aud jackass rabbits, ant
J deer, and such vermin. And the DESERT
: where we had to drag along, hub-deep, il
I the sand, water forty miles apart, and nj
. grass nor nothin'-in some O. them night
, / used TO wish to get home agin. But Can
u vas and me was goin' to git gold, and 8
. back rich and see the old folks-but whicI
it can never be. Canvas and me done tn
II best we-eould. We didn't see many Injun
fust along; onst in awhile q few would han
a around behind us, or we would see one o
y | NNva ulnNryinn mn n QnnOn After va on
/, well away from the settlements, they trie
n TO stampede the cattle; but we was pre-
= pared for them, and they didn't get but
70 few. II wasn't pleasant for a man to b
thinkin' o. Injuns all the time, and man
. a NIGHT as I've been on guurd / thought
II see a big 'un under every bush. My oil
- mother used TO read in the Scriptur' aboU
: 'roarin' lions and 'seekin' TO deyour,' bu
: that book don't say nothin' bout 'Pachei
o which is very singular, IL il makes for I
show us how TO go. P'r'aps the fellers a
wrote IL never was in Arizona and l ofte
" thought as how God left that country OF
Of his day-book, as bein' O. no account
leastwise, p'r'aps that was the place wher
the devil squatted when he was jerked on
l o. the garding, as gran'ther used to tell on.
"But the Government does its best there
u doesn't il? Spends millions of money!"
FINNhl Dt u AbAhk HULL u We hnO
u l thinks our Guv'ment is bilked in theI
. matters. They sends out agents, and bul
eaus, and commissioners, with pockets fu
! Of money, and them fellers cheats the In
~ juus, and cheats the Guv'ment, and ever,
p, body but themselves; and stead of wipil
~ out the cusses, writes reports, and send
!. home skillets Of yarns-how two regiment
~ c0rr1lei one squaw, and retired without n
&c loss. But they've got one bully boy theI
= now-Custer-and he's pattin' q head o
! them Injuns; and he Just don't wait for L
a. commissioners, but goes for EN-, and plul
~ to the devil goes Mr.. Iniun.
II see that some Quakers have been al
~ pointed that Department. Don'tyou thin
~ they will succeed?"
''You can just bet high agin' it, and b.
M to winl Did you ever try to keep of bun
= ble-bees by giyin' on 'em sugar? The
VI territories won never be with nothin' n,
Ns safe till them cussed varmints il wiped on
III Ill was the boss driver Of that Department
% I'd send enough sojers to dDrral all on 'er
and I'd take every blarstsd. copper. color,
thief and hang him up in what trees '
M could find, till the crows' day O. judgme'
~ had settled on EN-. But this amt n
~ story.
~ guess I'll lie up a little; it runs IA
llef nthNg lO-ulEntt hdlu uet hh nc MT
himself another glass, and continued:
an ''We camped out one night at the jaw
he a canon, ate our suppers, and Canyas al
"a me was on guard together, in the ear
se watch. We used TO meet at the sndof Il
AS walk, and stop a bit and talk. But we b
'at a good lookout all tho while. 1t was We
of dark, and every one was asleep. By-an
by, Canvas, says he, Centre, I'm going I
TO the spring TO get a drink The sPril
= was about a hundred yards up the guile
i among the bushes. We'll, says /, dol
he be long, and if you see anything, yell.
he And on ne went whlstlln softly IKE
va hlsSelt; and i stepped away again. He "