The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-08-05
Iowa PLAIN DEALER.

JUST FOR FU.N.
Money is easy--To spend.
Feed stores-Public Offices.
The spice Of the p. R.-Mace.
Following the hounds--their tails.
An object Of intercst--seven-thir-
ties. -
Oncofthc great composers-Parc-
gorio -------
Unbleachsd domestics--Nsgro
servants.
A lady's sleeve link--A gentle
mans arm.
Men who "act on the square, -
Glaxiers. S.
The chief ends Of man--His head
and feet.
Tomorrow. is the day lazy people
like to work. . ..
Forney's golden calf-ths Georgia
Bullock.
A terrible bors--Tbo inside Of q
fifteen inch gun.
Floating capitalize heiresscs
bathing at Long Branch.
In what does Queen Victoria take
her pills =? In cider. s.@
Relatives who ought to make good
observation-disclosures.
It was Maine man who rema rked,
after hearing Anna Dickinson, oval
meow, there amt nuthin' very coar-
an about her, is they ?"
A man ever ready to scrapo an
acquaintance-The barber.
IF man blows his own trumpet,
Gun his opinions be SOUND?
What is the greatest curiosity in
the world A woman's.
Never tell your secrets in a corn
6elc, for it has thousand ears.
Why is love like a canal boat +?
Because it is an internal transport.
'.Mud, with the juice squeezed
out" is what little girl calls dust.
Why is life the greatest conun-
drum Because all must give it up.
"Horse ATTITUDES Those allowed
in the way Of lying, to horse-scllers.
May man justly consider his wife
poetical when she is verse to him.
Public spirit.-Readincss to do
any thing which is likely to prove
lucrative.
A. The degree Of an. D." most ap-
:. prcprate for ladies, is that Of
mother Dear" ..
2 Fond AZ Falstaff was of women,
he never objected to their giving him
! the sack.
Why should q ROSTERS feathers
always be smooth? Because he
always has a comb with him.
The difference between sealing wax
and womcn-one burns to keep .
secret, the other to tell it.
-. A red cheek is an ornament, but o
red nose is hardly so. Society will
have its little prejudices.
n It does not follow that babies will
make good auctioneers. because they
are such successful "criers.''
- in Boston the price Of lager Is
said to be going down, but here it is
tho article itself that is going down.
8. Some lawyers resemble folks who
can sleep in any position. It is i'm
material on which side they lie.
A man in Council Bluffs is both a
liquor saloon keeper aud an under
taker. One business helps the other.
80 When a woman tries to catch q
rich man, it is evident that she cares
y less about outstanding him than his
cash.
"A Cheyenne paper says that birds
0IC WV euCJ
are Jail birds, and at the limb end of
. rope.
y The most gorgeous name for q
newspaper firm is that Of the Phila-
d delphia BuLLEr1N-Peacock, Feath-
srs-ton & Co:
When reporter wants char
rowing case'' for . sensa ton, he
should search for it in an agricultural
district.
I'm sitting on the style Mary"
j as the fellow said when be uthlessly
sat down on his swcetheart's new
bonnet.
HE who drinks quart of rum
without winking." is the name Of an
Omaha Indian. He has some cousins
hereabouts.
The following sentence will show
tho Importance of the position of
comma -Woman--Without her man,
!. 10 brute"
Dobbs says he would have died Of
yellow fever in August, il it had not
been for one thing--"The doctor
gave him up.
A NeY York judge committed