Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-07-23
COnjugal Tins.


matrmony can scarce ever be known to out
slider. The provocative power of a woman,
which is naturally considerable becomes many
degrees intensified by marriage. First of all,
the intimacy of that mode of life renders her
| thoroughly acquainted with all the weak points
of her lord. She knows exactly where to hurt
him most severely, and where to touch a raw
place hidden from the world. There is no doabt
that when Nantippe pitched crOckery at the
scone of her husband, she accompanied the mis-
siles with jeers at the poor mans doctrines.
/ Milton, it is said, suffered horribly from the
tongue Of his helpmate, and we can imagine her,
not only hiding his pen and ink, but making fun
of his verses. But these are historical cases,
where the battles were of chronic occurrence.
In real life, people when married do not alto
gether bark and bite. There are intervals of
repose when the atmosphere is clear and the sun
shines or, as it may happen, the storms are eX-
| cepuonal and the squalls comparatively rare.
| Of-band encounters frequently tend TO postpone
more serious conclusion, and the little domestic
skirmisbes common to the matrimonial state act
| as safety-valyes which might, under strict con-
! hnement, burst into a disastrous explosion.
| There numbers of women who would be
| quite uncomfortable if they had not small quar-
rels with their husbands. The smooth and even
/ tenor of everyday existence is broken up into a
picturesque variety by these passages. Hus-
| bands Especially when new to their happiness }
are often puzzled to know what makes the angel
cross and, to use an expressive term, cantanker
Gus. They ask the cause, bat they are fenced
off until a chance occurs for treading on their
corns, and then the shindy commences in real
earnest. A lady of this delightful complexion is
completely happy if she can wind up with "A good
cry. The dear creature dissolves into tears and
the man feels himself at once a brute. This is
her revenge. There is nothing now for the hus-
| band but absolute submission, and full ac-
Acknowledgement of his being in the wrong.
woman has lost Der ground forever who fails in
! her object when she has recourse to her pocket
handkerchief, and to a display of swollen eyes
and red nose. Few, however, are stupid
enough to play this card until their adversary
becomes disgusted with the trick it is generally
kept back until the right time, and then used
! with vengeance.
Women with tempers are much more toerabe
than women without. They possess both action
and spirit, while the tame, equable, colorless
creature has neither. A landscape seen in per-
petual sunshine or moonshine would be dull it
is a relief to see it from time to time stirred by
the wind in the light of flushed and angry
sunset. lis this the reason why poets so often
marry shrewsO 1t is probable that lady who
becomes conscious her husband is analyzing her,
would, out Of sheer spite, give him something to
speculate upon of hard aud practical descrp-
tion-she would cross his romantic vision on a
broomstick, or, worse again, fit over his brain
with poker. Tifs are not sufficient causes for
separation, although they may lead to the most
penary reasons for parting. We should think
! that in most instances when they do the fault
lies with the husband. Marriage is science,
or, rather, fine art There is scarcely any
woman who could not be reduced by good sys-
TEN and discipline to an endurable line of con-
| duct. Whether every woman would be worth
! the trouble of such "A training is quite another
! question but undoubtedly to the man who is
married there is no more important task to take
| IN hand. 1t requires judgment, cOolness and
Just a little clever cruelty. The slightest sign Of
weakness (and bullying, mind, is ulgar ad-
mission of incapacity) will spoil the entire opcr-
! alton. Roughness of any kind is, indeed, most
| undesirable and is only the weapon of clumsy
reformers. Mild irony and satire, with the chill
off, is much more effectual. Petruehio was
! genuine woman tanner, who used his art not un-
! kindly. OF course there ncorrigibles, whose
| husbands have no alternative but study of the
book of Job, and strong faith in compensatiye
immortality. With them there is no rest.
When we read IN the papers of brutal violence
towards wives, we are often too sentimental in
condemning the husband We may not take
into account the unbearable proyocation to
which he is often subjected. A story is told of
an actor who had to repeat Tohin's celebrated
| piece OF clap-trap, "The man who lays his hand
! upon woman, save" etc. 1t occurred to him
at the moment that he had whacked his wife
about half an hour before, in the presence of the
green-room, and so in order not to appear incon-
| sistent, he altered the text thus: "The man
who lays his hand upon woman, Sape chcn she
deserceS ii, etc. We should be sorry to allow
this freedom with so noble modern toast, but
unqueslonably, there times when its literal
Interpretation must seem unjust to laborers
whose wives pawn the childrens clothes and
waste the money in drink.
Into this branch of the subject, however, it is
not our intention to enter. Disputes between
man and wife, in which the smoothing iron and
the dishes are employed rs arguments, are be-
yond the cooler region of titIs. 1t is well when
the tiff only resembles lovers quarrel, and is
established, perhaps by the lady, for the express
purpose Of II delightful makeup. On such oc-
casions good husband is expected to show his
appreciation Of the luxurious misery he has gone
through by box at the opera dress.
lie not only dances, but very properly pays the
piper, and he has the consolation of rejecting
that any future amusements of a similar nature
must be similarly purchased AS Selden says,
g If man keeps monkey, shall he not pay for
| the glasses he breaks 2'l