The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-01-21

Men ana women differ on the
ring question. Women take to the
marriage ring and men to the whiskey-
ring.
- 1t is said that bisedlng a partial
~ Dllnd horse at the nose vii, restore
MIN to sight. So much SO for the hose.
10 open mans Dyes you bleed him
In the pocket.
-. A dandy swell in New York is
IN nx. His pants were made SO tight
Ior MN that he can't get his boots ON
and II he puts the boots on first he
can't get the pants OH.
Girls sometimes put their Inns
out poutingly because they are angry.
anu sometimes because they are incIii.
ed TO meet you half way.
49, A nice old lady, who was over
nice IN regard to cleanliness about her
mouse, once scrubbed her sitting room
moor until she fell through into. the
co. Mother, this book you gave me
.ens aDout tue angry waves OF the ocean,
Wv "hat makes the ocean get 90 an
gFy!" because it has bsen crossed
40 often, my son." s'
VII (you lis) Damyer fd-youl
seems to be worry Popular among the
youths OF this town. Nearly every one
Iii. MS pi"'so Vi
a Southern exchange tells of
negro who insisted that his race was
mentioned ia the Bible. He said he |
nesru the preacher read about how |
M gger Demus wanted to be born a.
gam"
a. waggish editor SAYS the streets
81 one OF the western cities arc to be
ngnted with red headed girls. Our
lamp posts. " As '"'
~ formal visitor thus addressed
. = little girl: How are you my dear ?n
VERY we'll thank you,n she replied.
Ihc visitor then added, New. INV
, dealr>y OH should ask mo how am
Inc child simply sl<l-honestly replied.
II don't want to know
All Fours. "A phriend pheellng
phunnily phiguratve, phurDishes the
phoiloNlng: 4ty 4tunats 4estere 4tu-
l5ously 4ty tying 4lorn 4tresses, 4cibIy '
4oade 4ty 4midable 4eigners dining
4aging 4ces.
MY dear Lucy, am surprised
ae your taste in wearing another wo-
man hair on your head, SAID Smith
TO his wife. "My dear Tom,n she re- ,
pied, 81 am equally astonisbed tbat !
you persist in wearing another sheep's 5
wool on your back.
- AS the sun in al; it's snlepdor i
was .peeping over tho eastern hills. a
newly married man exclaimed. uThe
glory of the world is rising! ~ His
vile who happened to be getting I'D at
that moment taking the compli-
ment to herself, simpered out. .What :
would you say dear, II had my silk
gown on !"
" You pull teeth here, suppose9'
inquired green looking customer
VINO dropped into dental office for in
ormation. S
Eyes, sir, take a chair" replied the
"our charge is only fifty
'e1ts' and can do il instantly. :
ell, guess III wait until get
iome Ior l can't pay that price because
'ur doctor charges only quarter. and
TT axes hun two hours. besides be nIIIs
'ou all around the room, and YOU get
he worth ofyour m rey."
- "Pennsylvania Bachelor
nus gets after 'lsvely woman {
lmPeach her in the name of the ly
'reaE whale OF the ocean, whose bones OF
re torn asundcr to enable her to keep D D
traight." !"
Il lmpeach her in the name of the pea 81
ock, whose strut without his permis- W
ion she has stealthfully and without ''
lonor assnmed.' =
VI lmpeach her in tho name of the
lorse, whose tail she has perverted
rom It's use to the making of wavy
re,ses to decorate the back of the head IS
nd neck" "
81 impeaeh her in the name of the
,angaroo whose beautiful figure. she in
aking upon herself the Greoian bend,
las brought into ill-fAVor and disre-
,ute."
Here the old fellow heaveaa sigh, 81
ND heaved himself overheard. in
~ i-rrt