The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-22
HOW / CAME TO BE MARRIED.


TT may be funny, but I've done it
I've got rib and a baby. I'll just
tell you how ] got caught. | was always
the darndest, most bashful fellow you ev-
er did see; it was kinder in my line to be
taken with the shakes every time | saw a
pretty gal approaching, and I'd cross the
street any time rather than face one
1t wasn't because [ didn't like the critters
for if [ was behind fence, looking thro'
a knot-hole, could not look long enough.
We'll, my sister Lib gave party one
night and | started away from home be-
cause | was too bashful to face the music.
I hung around the house whistling cod
Dan Tucker" dancing to keep my feet
warm, watching the heads bobbing up
and down behind the window curtains,
and wishing the laundering party would
break up, 50 [ could get to my room. [
smoked up bunch Of cigars and it was
getting late and mighty uncomfortable
[ concluded to shin up the door-post. No
sooner said than done, and l soon found
myself snug in bed.
"Now," says [, " let her rip! Dance
till your wind gives out" And cuddling
down under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed
me-"
l was dreaming of soft-shell crabs and
stewed tripe, and having a good time,
when some body knocked at the door and
woke me up. " Rap" again. L laid low.
Rap, rap, rapw Then | heard whis-
,,a,.;,,o ood I lynou, tboro ,uoc a w bo1n off
of gals outside. Then Lib sings out =
"Jack, are you there ?"
Yes" says |.
Then came roar of laughter.
g Let us in, said she.
81 won't" said [ ".can't you let fel
low alone?"
Are you abed ?" says she.
81 am" says I.
"Get out" says she.
81 won't" says l.
Then came another laugh.
BY thunder began to get riled.
"Get out, you petticoated scarecrows "
cried [. Can't you you get a beau with
out hauling fellow out Of bed? | won't
go home with one of you i won't, so
you may clear out"
And throwing boot at the door, I felt
better. But presently [ heard a still,
small voice, very much like sister Lbs,
and it said:
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all
the girls things are there"
Oh, mercy. what pickle. Think of
me. in bed. all covered with muffs. shawls,
bonnets and cloaks, and twenty girls out
side the door, waiting to get in. If [
had stopped to think L would have faint
ed =, on the spot. AS it was, l rolled
out among the bonnet ware and ribbons
in hurry. Smash went millinery in
every direction. l had to dress in the
dark-for there was a crack in the door,
and the girls will peep-and the way
fumbled about was death on straw hats.
The critical moment came. l opened the
door and found myself among the wo-
men.
90, my leghorn !" cried one. "My
dear, darling winter velvet !" cried anoth-
er; and they pitched in-pulled me this
way, and that, boxed my ears, and one
bright-eyed little piece-Sal, her name
was-put her arms right around my neck
and kissed me on the lips. Human ma
ture couldn't stand that, and gave her
one as good as she sent. 1t was the first
time ever got the taste, and it was pow,
erful good I believe [ could have kissed
that gal from Julius Caesar to the Fourth
Of July.
"Jack," said she, "we are sorry to dis
turb you, but won't yon see me home p
Yes, l will" said |.
[ did do it, and had another smack a
the gate.
After that we took kinder turtledov
after each other, both of as signing lik
a barrel Of new cider when we were ava,
from each other.
Twas at the close of glorious sum
mer day, the sun was setting behind
distant hen-roost, the bull-frogs were CON
mencing their evening songs, and polly
wogs, in their native mud-puddles, wer