Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1870-11-11

AN art unlon-a cockney'5 mar-
riage..
What goes most against thelarmer'a
grain? His reaper.
An Boston is humming new song.
called Let Ne BE"
The Cashmere goat has been intro
duced into Nebraska.
Sweet potatoes are selling ia Leaveu-
worth, Kansas, at cent pound.
Why is a pig with a twisted taillike
the ghost in Hamlet Because it
could a tail unfold.
One Of the pleansatest kinds Of bus-
bandry is that Of destroying a widows
weeds.
How long do you wear shifl?"
severely asked an Inspecting officer of
a soldier Twenty eight inches, sir,
was the respectful reply.
Bridal parties now 20 West, Chicago
and st, Louis being the favorite 1ez-
aes00zfS this fall. European honey
moons are apparently quite out of
date among the ROmeos and Juliets Of
the period.
A little two year old Jersey young
ster was saying Nov lay me down
to SLEEP" the other night, and con
cluded that ADie0 was incorrect in bis
case, amended by saying q bgy
Gen. Joe Hooker is on visit 30
Hadley, Massachusetts,, his native
town He is fighting disease with the
same heroism he showed during the
war. His paralysis is favorobly modi-
fed.
A Milwaukee tobacconist has placed
in front OF his store q blackboard. on
which he bulletins sundry small Gee
counts that certain parties have neg
lected to settle.
An old parson, whose peouliaritios
of preaching we're proVerbial and whO
vas blessed with q temper Of great
mIldness, was one day told by p3r-
ishi0ner that he did not like bis SER
mons. ] don't wonder at it, said he,
i don't like 'em myselfI'
At the first election Of the late Nor
decai BARLEY TO Congress, 10 is related
By the Mansfield Herald that. havinga
delicacy about voting for himself, be
voted for his antagonist, Mr. Kelly,
thereby giving offense to some Of his
active friends, and the vote cast by
Mr.. BARLEY was the only one received
at that election by Mr.. Kelly at the
Mansfield polls.
A funny incident occurred at an ont
of-toWn wedding the other day The
pet Skye terrier, belonging TO the bride
slipped unObserVed into the church
after the party. He remained very
quiet till the end of the service, but
on the post-ceremOuial kiss being adj
ministered it entered his dOggish brain
that his mistress was suffering su in-
jury, so he attacked the unfortunate
groom. Barks, yelps, screams, eZplo-
tives. Tableau.
When all is done and the Wedding
tour completed, some parties have lit-
tie left with which to begin life. We
know one who run this fashionable
round-borroWed on several quarters
Of his salary-and come home On Sat
urday night to tell his young bride
that he could make no provision for
Sunday dinner, and found her equal
to the crisis. Don't be troubled, my
dear, said the young bride. We can
do eXcellently well tomorrow. / will
roast the canary and boil the gold
fish"
THE meanest man in the world is
a grape-groWer, and lives on CataWba
Island. His crop was so large this
year that he was obliged 20 employ
number Of town girls to assist iu gath
ering his harvest, and who, he diseov-
cred, was so fond Of grapes that they
would occasionally eat few. To pre-
vent this the grape grower came go
town and purchased q lot Of wax,
which he presented to the girls, aud
informed them they must 'chaW that
while picking .
While Ames' Circus and MenaEeris
was in Macon, a negro approached too
near one of the cages to which q dog
was chained, and the dog BIT him. The
negro got out an attaehmentf0E& &I 900
damages. The sheriff proceeded % levy
and was obliged to take such property
as was pointed out By the defendant
By instruction of the defendants at
torney, the sheriff was told 90 take
that Royal Bengal tiger, or the Asia
attic liOness with her cubs, ss either
was worth the amount sued for, but
they must be taken without their ca
ges, and Colonel Ames generously Of
fered to give the Sheriff a rope 60 so-
cure either animal he might prefer.
The matter was compromised By Col
onel Ames giving security ia the sum
of two hundred dollars for his appear
auce in court to answer for damages.
Theodore Hook says railroads ami
hilated time, space and passengers.
Yet Theodore Hook had no expert
enee Of American roads. We trust.
for the sake Of his reputation Tor can
dor, he did not intend TO hint that
England could compete with us in The
smashing business. Besides, these
bloody British only do such JOB qi
coarse manging Rs any brute force
may accomplish, while our American
roads have accomplished that point of
perfection where the job is voted i1-
artistic if the man is not put 60 q linz
gering death and burnt up alteEWarl.
that is, made TO unite ln his oUn
person the three classes of war bull
wounded and missing. q
eolored philosopher, whose theory
was formed some years since, argued
strongly in favor of death by rail, as
compared with death by boiler cEpI3-
sion on steamboat, because, said tLls
ingenious reasOner, when you ls
blowed up by de railroad. Gar You is
but when you is blowod up on
lghar fS J0HE Ihla rcl-
soning was unansWorable under tl1
old system, but now, similarly, Wleu
you is bloWed up by do 1'afhUEa, Whar
is vou?''- Chf0 STATE J0lfVEEL
DEWAILs OF THE EEhH-
MN ~Hru A ~ WHrrUT ETWrs a ME-