The Placer herald., 1870-02-05
NUMBER a..
LOSING A WIFE.

|
The hour was approaching for The depart.
urs Of The New Haven steamboat from hss
berth At New York. and the usosl csosd.sf
passsngers. news boys, fruit vsndsrs s6d'
dock Iosters, were assembled on AMI about
the boat. We we're gazing ia'susIy o. iAg
wo'ly group from tbs foot Of the psossssaasr
deck STARE. when our attention wss astssetr.-
I'd by ibs Singular action Of tsll bre1ss
faokss ~ M ua'neBss wool hss,. sbsuolsasss
coI"rsd scat aud pantsioons. aid iiaey.
vsst lie stood usar the starboafd psAdis-,
bvx. and scrssiu'zed sharply every kaale'
thsl came Oh board. every now aod thes
consulI,sg AL snormuus silver bulls-ego,
~st~h. whish he ss,ssd from The depshs e
acap~c'ous fob by ueans Of powerful stssf
cb"". After mounting The guard in this
manner he rushed fur iouslv down The gasg,
| plank. re.appsaring on board alWosi insisa
tsnsoUsly, With a flushed face, expressing
the moN Intense anxiety. This ssriss ef
opera!ions he performed several timss, sf,ss
which hs rushed about The boat. wildly 'ssdf
bOpe'sssy ejacu la'iDg
'Whs:s the time er dayi Wonder Il
my watch is fas, Z Whar's .bs Csp'u-ths'
boss that owns t5s ship?
| Vudt 10 be ndtteI bII W0 SeutuIUo W
ask him when he stopped.
'llau'. seen nv,hln' Of gal in blue eve.
bonoe,. with whre Canton Grape sks~i,
(cost tif'ssa dolars). pink gown and brown,
boots. sh come aboard while ! was i6okia'
fvr the Cap'0 ~ The end Of the ship, tave
you / s.-..
No 'uch person, I think. has come
aboard
/
'Tormeu,sd lightnin', shs's my ~ifsr hs
screamed. 'matrled yesterday. All hss'
lrun Ks aud mine aboard under pile Of bsR.
gage AS tail as a Connecticut s,-~pls. Ths'
darued black ngger says be Ssu't hsod IL
out; and | wont leave my baggage anyhow.
My wife. only to think ont. was 10 Cooe
abo.rd At baf past four, and here rs .
most five. What 10 hecoms Of her = She
can. Lave siopsd. You dou't think she
has been abducted. do you. Mlstert Speak
ans~er won't yerl TN usviD' distrss,sd!.
VIVA, are they ring iu' that bill fori 10 he
ship a6rss'
'Its the signal Gr depsstvss-ths 6sss
bell. Tho second bell will bs vuny 10 sbossa
four minutes ~ '''
Gracious, you don't say 90! Whar's the
Csp'u2
The Yaukss ,hsu dar,sd TO tbs Captaia's<
side.
'Cap'n, stop the ship for tsO miausss.,
wo"t ysri'
Cant do il air. @+
But you m"e,. ! tell you. III pay ysu'
for it, How much will you taku!'
i could not do it,
'Cap'o. LII give you two dollars,' gaspsd
the Yankee.
the Csp,nin shook his bead. e's'
I'm give yer five dollars and half-and'A
half-~s1 n half hs kept repeating while
he finally danced in his agony. -Is,.@
The boat starts At five precisely said The
Captain shortIy, and then turned away.
| On you stony hearted hsAihsn L mss-'
INJURED The Yankee, and be svnost busss
'"lO tears: 'partiu' \ mao aud wife aod We
jus, ~ rried.'
AT TIL. moment the huge paddle vhssis"
began to paw the water, and the wakios
beam descended heavily, shaking: ths huge
tat % to her centre. All BOT gong 70 NV
Haven went ashore. The hsnds b~gau 10
hsul in the gang plsnk-ths fasIs wsrsr at-r
really cast loose.
Let 20 that : crisd the Yank ., soiarisR
one Of tho hands. Drop It like het po.
iato. or III heavs you into The dock
'Yo, yo! shouted the men 10 = churus;
AS they hove en- the gangway.
Shut up, yen braylng doOksys!' yelled
he maddsusd Yankee. 'os there will bs' .ss
W ~ spot OF wo,k.' t.
But the plank was go, aboard, asd The
boat spIasbed hv the pier.
10 an instant The Yankee pulled of bic
coat, flung HE bat bssds it on the dsrk.
and rushed wildly to the guard
I'm gong to ing myself into the dock
and g. ashors. cried the Yankee. L mmu't
Ieavs Sally Ann sIons in New Yu,k CITY.
You must divide the luggage ~ .ng. yvu.
Lei me go! can SWIM
lie s'rugxled So furIUusly; that the c0n.
sequences Of bis hsrsbness might have been
la'ai, had not certain sppar:tiou changed
his purpose. very pretty young woman
~ blue bonnet. with Canton Grape skAwi,
pink dress aud brown boOls, came towxsds
him. . .
The big brown Yankee uttered one stsn-
tor'an cry Of Sally Ann! clsspsd her il
his arms. in spite OF Ter struggling, sad
kissed ber b-A,llly before ell the pssssngsrs.
Where did you come from = he ioqoirsd!
| From The ladies' cabin, answered the
bride. You told me half past four, but
| thought Id bs sure, and come at four.
"A little too punktoosl.' said The Yankee,
But it is all righ, now. don't care about
stopping. Come nigh loosiog- the passage
money aud baggage; but it is alright nov.
10 ahead steamboat! Rosn up fireman!
darn the expense!
AYERS AMERICAN ALMANAC. for 1870 has =,