, 1870-05-01
TIT-BITH.

a ehoddy young lady surprised he9 moth,
~ snis1ed the .:hussins' set to music most
n xitty fellow; III IN speaking Of man OF IN
aisputahle stupidity, said To become peF-
feet brute he needs only instinct
" "becauec Il shoots from the eyes; ""or r1th-
er, sexclaimnd Byron, "because Il becomes less
"a Kansas gentleman lately ate three
pounds Of raisius for bet, but wss no petite.
not be until the general resurrection takes
"A Young lady, heips asked by rieh old
bachelor, III not yourself, who would you
rather be 2" replied, sweet]y ana modestly,
a sycar:old boy at tho school in Lincoln,
CAL, was asked what punishment was given 10 /
Adam and Eve for eating The forbidden fruit
in the Garden Of Eden. He replied, "They |
Dir. Ruskin said, in recent lecture at Or
ford, that life without industry is ain, but In |
dustry without art Is brutal.
What is the difference between donkey
and the only empire in South American Inc
one hrays well; the other Brazil
The "Great Organ Of Boston has been
discovered to BE- the organ Of self-esteem-
Conscience is "The rsal Central Criminal
Court
Tho answer to the question, s. What is
house without baty: is, well, compafa-
lively quiet"
a lady wished seat IN crowded hall; A
handsome gentleman gare her chair. /" You
aye Jewell she saidL 40 no. I am jewel
ler I 1have Just set the jewell
The following letter, which, .eeorling 70
eensa6onalists, "spe1ka volumes, WAS picked
up in the streets Of Bloomington. H.: the
other day: "Dearest c.: Your boots are in
side the garden tence, At the southeast corner.
under piece Of old carpet: Don't come any
| more, for Heavens sake. The old MAJ sWears
| fectionAte B."
"a Gctty, my dear" said = Sabbath School
teacher to one q her cass, s'yoa were ,;,, ye1y
help being good I got tid neck" said Ger
| tv, with perfect se1iousneas.
The story going the rounds Of the Little
| boy who refused to pray for his hzother " be-
cause be killed my Little htten this morning,
rsninds Us Of another ittlo fellow who, after
repeating the Lord's Prayer, WIS accustomed
to e1temporize, which on one OCCASION he did
thus: "please, God, bless papa and mamma,
and-and-andi Il you're mind to, you may
bless Aunt Ehie, but don't much care."
- B4 Jones sa!d : bullying utshin ; ,,5 11
fsoe YOU lie any thing s.Weu, replied Bill,
III an't often much Aone-l commonly have
my legs and fists with me-"
-It is said that tho reason American girls
naturally, IS bcc,nse thoy cat late dinners and
4 suppers. An old Spanish pruverb B1yB, in
reference to this fact: "a title breakfast is
enough; enough dinner il but little; Little
supper il too much.
rose to delivex hia sentiments on the bill to
! abolish capital punishment, with i diynihed
/ serenity Of couutenAncc, commenced with
"Mr. Spealer, the generality OF mankind in
general are disposed to exercise oppression o.
| At this point, one who sat inmediatelg behint
him pulled him By The coat-tsil, and cried
: "Stop. stop, say; you arc coming out Of III
! | same hole you just went in 1t"
: t,emen from New yort, who were not poste
!. In regard to the workings Of tho prohihitot
X Law, entered wen-known eating saloon in Ss'
Is 4 Bedford, and discussed bountitl spread c
IS of the gentlemen then called tho waiter an
= ! Asked for vine card The boy know OF q
= such document "Well, !" said the gentlema1
n lmpatsently, shave you any dry sllery?" ~
think not: replied The waises, "bnt We has
n | some cold cabbage"
> "A young nan who has tried until b
Y knows. tells us that il yon csl on youn
= lady, and ahc csochets diligently all the ever
"a ing, and only says "ycs" and "no," you ca
H. SO away about 9 or > quarter past wthoe
i breaking any Of tho rules OF etiquaste-
O. in California, when ; mAn quietly rotirt
+ from riotous crowd they cal it Pacif
- 4 slope. ...,
ans "A man Of inquinng mind wants to know
" \ modern whiskey has ever been seen co1ni
r through the rye.
j. In = school examination 4 la5y sppeale
" I to the elf-consciousness OF tho children, IN
tHed 10 teach them = little about their sense
-, They knew that theJ Baw and heard, but
20 ewes and hessd with can; 10 lie lady said
n tSem. n sYou hayo ono noses, vhat a1o they Tor
Il. The-a IVA de.d t;lence. .nd It lsst one y
ID venturous urchsn replied: Ia Please, na'.n,
ID ~fffHt Young Iady. $50 poor Susan
er de.d?" second Young Lady. 'sYes, po
re Ting. She suffered terribly, didn't she? a
ed fhinf aha couldn't wear that beautiful q
ID drest her mother gave ller, aud it is too abr
On for her 6ister."
al +,n If hlunderino in hor ersmmar, that
1nnitabla woman replied thus :. hThat
ch nothing We women have no hand in maxi
H. thaes 6Tsmnara Ten to oua they arc
[ch Eor1 u
re, "Ao's. ...p;,,+ r.,,+,,n,,, yror, f,er,n,
'pa ~ aIt teIt LIZ. ~ sn ame1can ehnrrh' hst
20 oa,4+;h,.,;on ~ hoI With = Fole in the ton y
nc senteo 70 nim nno Sn.sPe,sua sa ~ ~ srta
p- aon e e.. ~ me W,ss1sh,,,atss M dsacon 9ece
rat aeceasea, Was onse sana ~ bia aana
en- a91en nomo 'H1f Witb ereaf dea Of esrncstness
0n- reniv uas. "Hon't tell mo that I'm I
%ake1 know all about Conversational
a & lar nv son has taken the Congregational G
-. for years"
IN EP,tnch thinks that mill-Eaca comes NJ
ne. ne. +hs he'd Of souatic sr,orta.
the ,I ~aoe SAVE the mosquito was born OF r
~, but honest parents, who had in their v
.ha some Of tho best blood In the country.
eno ono "A litIe boy, on returning from Sur
rai1 School. said to his mother: eThis cateeh
mt is too hard isn't there xny Ettychizrn for
led tie boys Z"
ing "A gentleman gave his servant maid
M, 1 following !: character tho Other day: -
Int bearer has been In my house 3 yesr-mi
hut eleven montha. During that time she
;hAt shown he1seH d11igent-At tho housedo
,uld | fragal-in work; mindfu1-of herself; pro-
ailv in e1cues fsiendly-toward men; fait!
lys- TO her lovers; and dhoneat-when eve1Stt
nu- had vtnished ..u
! is An old lady N Lsconis, n: a., 4uli o.
hieh der sympathiss, vas ASasa n Inc hnaHo. aHoi
the conaouus III .uose ~ ~, 80 r~..s;,,1
pro- the oeAtn VI nls e.sa ~. ~ ~ ~,
ays: ing Is her OWL, for shc had w'thin year
lite dear husband, two eh'lofen' ano h'e 5A
at OF ~oonen nGr yn ia recea.,v ran aysv from h
yes "A !oaos isu a.rsT ubers ia Eas fnnnd
we're and went " 49, l., Il. month ~
sely menu Nnn 1a.rs ho1na - aa;d tha friend.
TWO mAae !oa 1 s. >, ss;d h.. .father md mo
,e;. saao eonlounu ~ s,,rv That I conJlnt stand it
ltea were eo Tue! 80.
were longer, 10 GU. en r., =,
the -DenonA Gum OF tosu ~ MAsnre, .re, u9, 49,
ollec- ed bis neighbora cow tns osnsi aa5'
pots, started with her tof taI4yeue. ne ,os 80
). and s1,red en- ro"ts, 70 lniGkIs ne ~ n-ru u ~
dec that he wonders wnat he ssn ~ aur, su.a,d,
! ele- Ar. Jullans !emHe iun saua-s n Rossn
EntA- to the Constitution = hAo"n N' Aoas"
9. A :" the aWeet S11teentn-
/ E{nAf6D fNOSl