The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-06-23
THE ART OF ,RETICENcE.
From the Saturday Reyiew.l

Of all personal qualities, this art of reticence
is the most important and valuable for pro-
fessiOnal man to possess. Lawyer or physl-
clan, he must be able to hold all and hear all
without betraying by word or look, by injudl-
cious defence any more than by overt treache-
ry, by anger at a malicious accusation. any
more than by a smile at an egregious mistake.
His business Is to be reticent, not eXculpatOry,
to maintain silence, not set up defence nor
vet proclaim the truth. To do this well. re-
uuires rare combination of good qualities,
among which are tact and self-respect, In
about equal amount, self.command and the
power Of hitting that fine line which marks
ever thoroughly successful as either lawyer
or physician who did not possess this combina-.
ton, and with 1t even modest amount OF
technical skill can be made to go long way.
Valuable In society, at home the reticent are
so many forms of living death. Eyes have they
and see not, ears and hear not, and the faculty
of speech seems to have been given them In
they tell you nothing Of all they have seen.
They have heard all sorts of news and seen no
end of pleasant things, but they come down to
breakfast the next morning as mute as fishes,
and II you want 1t you must dig out your own In
formation bit by bit by sequential, categorical
questioning. Not that they are surly or il-
natured; they are only reticent. They are dis
dSIrOuS elUllSl W IuOSc WIZ diS uosoSiotSu
with them, and make the worst partners IN the
world in business or marriage; for you never
know what is going on, or where yon are, and
you must be content to walk blindfold If you
walk with them. They tell you nothing be-
yond what they are obliged, take you Into no
confidence, never consult you. never arrest
their own action for your concurrence and
the consequence is that you live with them In
the dark, If you are timid, forever afraid OF
looming catastrophes, and more like captive
bound to the car of their fortunes than like
the coadjutor with voice in the manner of
the driving and the right to assist In the dlrec.
ton OF the Journey. This is the reticence of
temperament, and we see 1t IN children from
quite an early age-those children who are
trusted by the servants, and are their fayorites
in consequence. because they tell no tales;
but 1t is disposition that may become danger
Gus unless watched, and that Is always liable
to degenerate into falsehood. For reticence
Is lust on the boundary Of deception, and 1t
needs but q very little step to take one over
the border. Still nothing can be more foolish
or more suicidal, to say nothing OF It's sin,
than lying. No mans memory IS 30 good as
to enable him to lie with constant impunity.
Some day there must come the inevitable slip,
and one such slip of memory and consequent
discovery will undo the careful labor Of life,
and reduced the whole fabric to heap of un-
slightly ruins.
rades itself, which makes mysteries and lets
you see there are mysteries, which keeps
silence and flaunts it in your face as an inten-
tonai silence, broodlng over things you are
not worthy to know-that silence which Is as
loud as words Is one of the most irritating
things in the world, and can be made one OF
the most insulting. If words are sharp arrows.
this kind of dum6ness Is even sharper, and oil
the worse because 1t puts it out OF Your power
to complain. You cannot bring into court q
list of looks and shrugs, or make 1t grievance
that man held his tongue while you raved,
and to all appearance kept his temper when
you lost yours. Yet all of us who have had
any experience that way, know that his mold
ing his tongue was the very reason why you
raVed, and that If he had spoken for his. own
share the worst of the tempest would have
been allayed. This is common manner OF
tormenting, however, with reticent people
who nave i moral twist; and to fling stones ut
you from behind the shield OF silence by which
they have sheltered themselves is pastlme
that hurts only one Of the combatants Retl-
cence, though at times one OF the. greatest
| social virtues we possess, Is also at times one
of the most disastrous personal conditions.
Half our modern novels turn on the misery
brought about by mistaken reticence; and
though novelists generally exaggerate the cir-
| cumstances they deal with, they are not wrong
in their facts. II the waters of strife have been
been broken hearts before now because
of none, or not sufficient. Old proverbs,
to be sure, inculcate the value of retlcence,
and the wisdom of keeping ones own counsel.
II speech is silvern. silence is golden, in popu..
lar philosophy; and the youth Is ever enloined
to be like the wise man, and keep himself Tree
from the peril of words. Yet for all that, next
to truth, on which society rests, mutual know
ledge is the best working virtue. and state
of reticent distrust Is more prudent than no
BILE. Many people think 1t fine thing to live
with their most intimate friends as Il t1ey
would one day become their enemles,l A
never let even their deepest affections strike
root so far down as confidence. They rear
range La Bruyere's famous maxim, Lon neut
le cpur," and take it quite the contrary way;
but perhaps the heart which gives itself, d.
yorced from confidence, is not worth accept
ing, and retlcence where there Is love sounds
almost contradiction In terms. Indeed, the
certainty of unlimited condolences where there
is love- is one of the strongest OF all the arS!l-
ments in favor Of general reticence. For In
nine cases out of ten, you tell your secrets and
open your heart, not only to your friend, but
to your friends wife, or husband, or lover; and
secondhand confidence Is rarely held sacred If
It can be betrayed with impunity.
By IN apparent contradiction, retlcent peo-
pie who tell nothing, areoften The most charm
criptIons dashed of with warm and flowing
pen, giving all the latest news well authenti-
Gated and not scandalOus, and breathing just
the right amount of affection, according to the
circumstances of the correspondents natll-
rally eloquent person who has cultivated the
art of retlcence, writes letters unequalled for
charm of manner. The first impression Of
them Is superb, enchanting, enthralling, like
the bouquet of old wine; but, on reconsidera-
ton, what have they said? Absolutely moth
ing. This charming letter, apparently so full
of matter, is an answer to great good, hon
est outpour, wherein you laid bare. that foolish
heart of yours. and delivered up your soul for
anatomical examination; and you looked tor q
reply based on the same lines At first delight
ed, you are soon chilled and depressed by
such return, and you feel that You have
made fool of yourself, and that yorr cores
pondent is laughing In his sleeve at your in
sane propensity to ''gush." So must 1t be till
that good time comes when man shall have no
need to defend himself against his fellows,
when confidence shall not bring sorrow, nor
trust betrayal, and when the art of reticence
shall be MS obsolete as the art of fence. or the
Socratic method.
ALL FOR LOVE.