The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-10-21

Aue ueuTest tpot on cAfkD--lue
store where they Do not advertise.
Why have widows the right to Airt?
Because the Bible says the widow
mite. IT, -
Justi6ablc MISUNDERSTANDING q
friled tbs right oflaughiug at our ex-
nina is blissful region for place
Of Residence. There are no lawyers
thGpe. 10 @ @
Mental abstraction Stealing the
ideas Of others. and fancying them
your own.
A handsome dresspattern never ar.
rests . wonan's attention. She will
always SO buy it. 4
When = man gets so low that be
will aet even borrow trouble, bis case
issdssperate.
If = man loses his breath it is of no
use to run for it. lie can catch it
quicker by standing still.
All the girls in Wisconsin except
sovsnsare picking hops day times and
kicking at hops in evenings.
The Bonapartes we're originally
poor, but the first Napoleon gave his
bfothcfs ! crown apiece to start with.
Why are horses in cold Weather like
meddlesomc gossips? Because they
are the bearers Of idle tails. =
Blindman's buff is said to be genu-
inslhuman sympathy, because it is a
fellow-feeling for fellow creature.
Sheridan says the Prussians treated
himl kindly Anybody that treats
Sheridan comprehends his weakness.
The Boston Lecturer who has been
trying to prove that man is a vogeta-
BILE, has himself turned out to be a
dead beat. 3E.5-s 1914 3. r..
What 10 the difference between o
church organist aud the influenza?
Que. stops the nose and the other
knows the stops. ....- ...
1--WE know a girl,' says some one,
$50 industrious, that when she has
nothing else to. do, she sits and knits
her brow" u IL ~ ,-..'i- r.. .at.'
A literary man on retiring into
private life said that bis connection
with the press had thawed and resell
ve6-steslf into sdicu! 7a=a7.. -sas-.r7
Nolega Who is . single man, is
geHSrslly cohsidered honest, but says
there are-timea when his fingers have
itcbea to hook dress.
In rsiation to the census falling be-
low public expectation. the bachelors
sing in:chorus-thou canst not say we
did it.s
Ladies, just now, are anxious about
the trimming of their fall bonnets;
but it won't do to trim them much
closeE, or there will be nothing left.
A ssR-threading needle having been
invented, an anxious old bachelor
wants-to know if some one can't de-
sign 6 self-sewing shirt button.
A writer in Lippincott sets it down
~ an-axiom that man will fight for
bis dog who will not risk bis person
for his religion, property or : govern
ment.
Louis Napoleon recently, in a sc.
we're TT. Of tho govt, told his physi
elan he suffered the pains Of the damn
ed. The doctor only answered,
What, already p
Mary Krumpasitziky, of Jefferson
Vile, Illinois. has been divorced from
Hermann Krumpasitziky, and finds
relief in her maiden name, Pronyin-
tamatowski: . n @~ @@ ~r -
A club ofhenpccked husbands meet
once week, that meeting being their
only, day of enjoyment and rest.-.
WhSn they adjourned they called it
the rising Of the tied. r...s
"You say" said a judge to a
witness. "that the plaintiff resort
cd to an ingenious use of circum stan
tial evidence. state just exactly what
you sEnsapt by that" SWELL
sai tA1AitneSs, StMy exact mean
ing us that he lied.
A certain Boston clergyman who,
last week, had an overcoat and um-
brella stolen from his hall, thinks
that the man who took them is likely
to o4ng up in = world where neither
overooat nor umbrella will be essen
tial to comfort.
StephensPsarl Andrews, says -
/" Nothipgin the concrete sphere is
ever divided BY clear cut, geometric-
al lines. Hence there is overlapping
and mere perponderance and mex
pu| gn1bfHFy Of prime elements. -
That's the way We always looked at
It.
A Norwegian father and mother,
with twenty-ope- children lately ar
rived At Sheyhgygan. Vii. The rest
Of the family il expected BY the next
steamer.
A brakeman having sunk his shop
. couple Of feet, announces that, in
consequence Of recent improvements
goods will be solo considerably lower
than formerly.