Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-03-27
BREvTTTEs AND LEvIrrEs.

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BREvITTEs AND LEyITIEs.
Beholders-Hiyes.
Light infantry
Pail creatures Dairymaids.
The last thing out-the truth.
A sscurl of the lip"-a moustache.
Expressive letters-C. o. d.
A hackneyed observation ''Cab, sir?n
Eyergreens- who don't take the |
papers.
Naked anticipations-bare announce
ments.
Wild ducks are drug on the Illinois
river.
Incorporate language et's imbibe."
Fast horses-Those that are safely Sc
cured.
The moaning of the tied-A husband 5
grumbling.
An actor ought to be happy man; his
works. all play.
The key to many mems undoings-
Whiskey.
Old-fashioned fire-places-Etna and We
suvitis. 1
The last blow-out-blowing out the
lamp of life. ht V
The time to buy an overcoat- when the
fit is on you. s'sh ~
Gov. Geary is called TRANSFORMERS
Truth Teller.n
The latest woman question" What is
home without a babygn
Bad taste-pretty young girls kissing
widowers' children.
New York z-Adolphuses wear brace
lets on their delicate wrists.
FfeSh-ets never happen with Salt
water. Not singular at all.
When theatrical managers make money
they thank their stars for it.
Who is the largest man? The lover;
he is man of tremendous signs.
Are belles-lettres necessarily the best
because written by the prettiest girls!
Grants fondness for animals and dress
has induced him to purchase clothes
horse.
Cape Cod muslin is described as 'three
threads to the armful with a jackass for q
shuttle"
The EUening Post thinks if postage is
reduced to one cent there will be two sent
where there is one sent now.
An Illinois domestic lost her voice in a
fit of rage, and has since worked in 81
lence. Such ''help" is in demand.
Boys, who have persistently whistled
"Shoo, Fly F" for the past six months, are
advised to try change of air.
A New York female failing to achieve
asphyxiation with her garter, tried swal-
lowing a hair-pin with no better result.
A little boy out West was asked if he
knew where liars went, and answered yes,
they went to New York to write for the
papers.
Models for the new fifty cent pieces
have been completed. We don't think
they will improve upon the oldsilver half
dollar.
New Orleans pickpockets send up &
host of India rubber balloons, and while
the crowd gazes heavenward, go through
its pockets.
A captious critic does not exactly un
derstand how Fechter should earn $40 {
night, and yet have to be supported by
Miss Leclercq and Mr.. Bangs.
A Boston writer, in abiding to thu
musical taste of the Hub, says: "Our ear
have been cultivated till they overshadoV
our other organs"
The architect of the Chicago Court
house thinks it was the weight of til,
plastering that made the roof fall. 4
strong roof that must have been.
The Psychologists advice, "man, know
myself" will never he needed by Butler
who, if he knew himself, ought to com
NIT suicide without delay.
A Sunday-school teacher at Warren
Mass, promises the boy who acts the best
during the year, and commits the mos
Testament, a meerschaum pipe.
A San Francisco Judge tempered justice
with mercy by filming starved girl TWEEN.
ty-five cents, and then raising $40 for he
on the spot from sympathizing spectators
An unknown Philadelphia philanthro
pist tried to lubIicate the pathway to thu
tomb of houseful of people, by pouring
coal oil in through window and firing il
the other night.
Kit Burns, the present famous man o.
Water street, New York, is said to have
voice '1ike the filing of saw, and whel
he laughs, resembles the agony of door
hinge in want of oil.
Lancaster, Penn, has no sturdy pau.
pers to support this winter, as the inmate
of the almshouse are all set at worl
breaking stone If beggar asks fo
bread they give him stone, and he is off
straightway.
A Western newspaper having repeated
the old paradox that if two'letters be ia
ken from money there will be but on,
left, the Vicksburg Times remarks: eve
once knew fellow who took money from
two letters and there was none left.
Some ''horid wretch in England says
woman mounts by insensible graduation
from dolls and kittens and pet brothers t,
the zenith of passion, to descend by the
same insensible gradations from the zenitl
of passion through pet brothers to tabbl
cats. =
The only great difference between Cali
fornia and Minnesota farmers is that tn,
former gets as much for dozen of egg
as the latter does for bushel of wheat
1t isn't near as much labor to lay eggs a
it is to raise wheat, at least to the farmer
In case of marital separation in Gin
cinnati, the plaintiff addressed the court
! JuuSC, SdlN SlC, L Cdu lOfC udJ tud
niger; nc kicked me in the ribs ono
until he loosened all my insides, and whel
dat occurred my affection for him van
ished."
A rich man died in Maine recently, anC
his last words to his heirs were: ''Plan
me as soon as l am cold, and don't car
me around for q side-show. Remembe
Peabody. F." He was buried according t,
his request, and is believed to be now en-
joying himself.
The captain of a Nova Scotia schoonel
at New York, from Jacmel, reports see
ing marine monster on the 18th instant
which was sixty feet long and twenty
four feet wide, with two forks to its tai
about four feet long, and ridges runnin2
from its head to its tail. 1t was rela
tive to the sea serpent, probably.
The Sheriff of the city of Richmond
has levied on all the fire apparatus of thu
city, including the steam fire engines
hose, reels and hook and ladder truck, anC
advertises them for sale at auction, Z
satisfy executions in his hands in favor o
parties whose liquor was destroyedin 1856;
on the evacuation of the city.
Susan A. Smith, NJ. D., of Philadelphia
resists payment of the income tax on tn
ground that it is oppressive on women
who are not allowed the same chance
for business that men have. She tells tn