The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-08-04
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A STAR of the evening-A policeman.
THE shades of night-Window cur
taiDs.
THE grandest verse in existence-The
universe.
FLOWERS that are always falling off
Bachelors buttons.
DOES a man lose his health when some
body drinks it9
A MAXIM for the salad season: Two
heads are better than one.
IT is said that the connecting link be-
tween the animal and vegetable is hash
EVERY member of the Washington Life
Insurance Company is interested IN its
success.
A GOOD kick out of doors, to some, is
better than all the rich uncles in the
world.
AMERICANS are said to be the greatest
wesrers of gloves of any nation III the
world.
A BosToN saloon displays a card on
which is, "No religious discussions allow
ed here"
THE policies of the Washington are
raid within sixty days after receipt of
proofs of death.
"VAcuUM CURE" is the happy name
placed upon the door Of boarding house
in Boston.
A LECTURER in New York is instruct
ing people how to distinguish mad dog.
A bite is good indication.
IT turns out that the woman who hasn't
spoken to her husband for twenty years
never had one to speak to.
In Hebron, on the gravestone of Mrs.
Buel, is this peculiar verse:
dear as thou art and justly dear,
We will not weep for thee.
One thought shall check the falling tear.
II IS that dmtree."
of should be drowned in this storm"
said soldier named Underwood, to the
captain of the ship, "could you get me
up an epitaph?' "Yes, I'd suggest this ::
"IIere lies, escaped from blood aud slaughter,
! Once Underwood, now under water"
Jimmy, my boy, take these eggs to the
store, and if you can't get quarter bring
them back. The boy went IS directed, and
came back, saying. Father, it takes me
to make trade. They all wanted them
for 40 cents, but screwed them down to
o."
A MAN, slightly pretentious, fond Of
display, and somewhat ignorant, recently
called the attention of some visitors to 8
snowy carpet on enc of his apartments
with the remark, "There, gentlemen, thai
is one of the best carpets Mr.. BrusSel
ever made !"
A JOURNALIST has been sOiourning for {
fortnight in the White Mountains, an(
says that he has enjoyed himself very
much, having fallen into six rivers
sprained his ankle, skinned his face an,
, neck, and broken three ribs the first MIN
DAYS.
VISITOR. "Well, George, and what d.
you mean to be when you have growl
up?" George (prornptly). can artist !
Visitor. "Well, then, You shall paint m.
portrait" George. "Ahl but | mean L
paint pretty things"
WORD was sent to the City Marshal c
Augusta that a fellow was selling ticker
l from wagon IN Market Square. Ee wen
: to arrest him and coDfiscate bis stock, an
e found himself the victim of an atrociou
t pun. The man was peddling horse sohlps
SAID distinguished politician to hi
e son: " Look a: me- began as an Alder
4 man, and here | am at the top Of the tree
: and Whist is my reward Why, when
8 die my son will be the greatest rascal i
: the United States" To this the y0un
i hopeful replied: eyes, dad, when yo
e Gle, but not till then"
i A PHOTOGRAPH room isn't q goo
place to sulk in. A short time since
: boy employed as assistant at Erie, got h
dander up because he couldn't have
holiday, and leaned against the d0OrpO:
IN brown study. The photographer
squiet joker, and instead Of berating tn
boy, he slyly adjusted the lens, took
negative, anu the next day presented til
youth with copy Of the most lifclik
sulkiness ever seen.
= A FOOL, a barber, and bald -heade
), man were travelling together. Losin
6 their way, they were forced to sleep i
% the open air, and to avert danger, il w
- agreed to watch by turns. The lot fir
. tell on the barber, who, for amusement
" shaved the fools head while he was sleeI
. ing. He then awoke him, and the foo
= raising his hand to scratch his head, e,
- claimed, Heres pretty mistake; yo
y have awakened the bald-headed man il
6 stead OF me-"
!. A NEW story of hotel charges A vsitC
d passed two days at famous hotel
If Chantilly, and then called for mis- bill.
n sight of the sum charged he was furiou
, "a hundred and ten francs for tw
e daysp he exclaimed; ga hundred az
n ten francs for two or three bad Dime
f" ard two wretched nights passed in bt
9 full of bugsi" Howl Were the
e bedbugs?" said the hotel keeper in
light, land l was going TO forget theI
r Give me the bill" The traveller hand,
back the bill to the landlord, who added
Bedbuga franc