Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-03-17
Amusing Blunders or the Telegraph.

H
Amusing Blunders OF the Telegraph.
THE annals of the telegraph would, il
carefully searched. furnish list of errors
as long and certainly amusing as those
attributed to the press We offer few
examples Of the mistakes occasionally
made by the lightning when it under
takes to act as postman, or rather by those
| whose duty it is to mail the letters.
/ A gentleman residing in New York,
who was shortly to be married, had en-
gagged Protestant Episcopal bishop OF
one Of the Western States to perform the
ceremony. Some weeks before the period
originally fixed for the wedding the father
Of the lady was taken suddenly and dan
gerously ill, and expressed wish that his
daughter should be married as speedily as
possible for fear that he should not live to
witness her nuptials. The bridegroom
expectant accordingly telegraphed to his
friend the bishop respecting the change
of date, but as he wrote very inegible
| hand, the establishment Of the right rever-
end gentleman may be imagined on re-
ceiving the following dispatch: ~ sm to
| be tried on Thursday Can you come and
proffer your testimony" The message
really sent was II am to be married on
Thursday. Can you come on and per
form the ceremony"
The next instance we shall give was
rather more annoying in its results. A
Philadelphia, being on visit to New
York, and wishing to gladden. the hearts
of two of the New York bellies by offer
ing to them some Of the unrivalled pro-
duction of our Philadelphia een-houses,
telegraphed to one Of the leading florists
for two hand bouquets This message was
transformed into two hund bouquets;
and we can picture the gentleman's
dismay when he received box con-
tanning one hundred and eighty
superb bouquets, accompanied by a
letter from the florist, informing him
that the remaining twenty should be for
warded az soon g the necessary flowers
could be procured, the resources of his
greer. house having proved inadequate to
furnish the number required. Naturally,
the gentleman refused to pay for the one
hundred and ninety-eight bouquets which
he had neither ordered nor wanted. The
florist sued him, lost the suit, and then
commenced proceedings against the tele-
graph company with better fortune, this
second suit being decided in his favor.
| A story is told OF a young gensleman
residing in one of our large cities, who
was a member of small social club. His
most particular and intimate friend among
the members thereof was youth who
had gained for himself the sobriquet If
"Sarah's Young Man." from his devotion
to that once popular air, which in some
form or other-either sung, whistled or
hummed-was seldom absent from his
| lips. To this club our hero, whom We
will christen Mr.. z, one day found
himself. called upon to announce his ap-
preaching marriage, and his consequent
withdrawal from their circle. After the
usual congratulations had been rendered
and accepted, and the usual lamentations
uttered, the members decided upon ten
dering to their matrimonially disposed
and seeding comrade farewell dinner,
to take place as early as possible after the
termination Of the wedding-tour. The
marriage took place, and Mr.. and Mrs
u started on their bridal journey,
which terminated in that usual destipa-
ton Of newly-married ouples-Niagara
affectionate and charming of brides,
the happiest of zen. The period OF
their stay at the Falls was nearly ended,
when one day Mr. X -, on returning to
his room after short absence, was as
tonished to find his wife in state in
which indignation and Mysteries were
struggling for the mastery. She assailed
him with q torrent of reproaches. He was
a wretch--a villain; she was miserable,
ill.used, wretched woman. She would
leave him; she would go home TO her
mother! And here Mysteries got the up
per hand, and she burst into a passion of
tears. "Wha. is the matter?" the amazed
husband at last found breath to calculate.
Read, slr-read sobbed the poor little
bride pushing toward him an open yellow
envelope. :" / thought there might be bad
news from home, and | opened it; and
oh -oh-oh-" Here she broke down
again, and Mr.. Y unfolded the i'm
portant document which had produced
such startling effects in state of utter be-
wilderment. 1t was telegram, and 1t ran
as follows:
"Our spree is fixed for the Goth. Don't
forget. We will have glorious time.
"Yours ever, SARAH s. YoUNaMAN."
"There, sir! cried Mrs. Y. :" How
can you ever dare to look me in the face
again, Who is this Sarah Youngman
and what do you mean by promising to
go on spree with her? and you just mar
ried tool You are wicked" Here a
snout Oh iaugntcr rom NAT. A. inter-
rupted the flow of HE wife's eloquence
He had been staring blankly at the dis
patch, and suddenly the whole affair
flashed across his mind. The telegram
was in reference to the promised dinner,
his facetious friend had been entrusted
with the forwarding OF It, and he had
signed the dispatch "Sarah's Young Man"
"a signature which the telegraph opera
tors had seen at. Intentionally or other
villas, TO altar TO Sarah 8. Youhgman. Al
soon ~ his irrepressihle laughter would
allow him TO speak, he explained the mis-.
take TO his wondering and indignant wife,
who, however, being sensible iitale wo.
man, was speedily sppeased, Joined In the
laugh, and t0.dag numbers Sarah y, Young.
man among her most warmly welcomed
acknowledgement Mayasine.
EHLIsTNgAT In the army hss bean DO,
| ns1oN ,~nt A. ~. a nxMxAis.sa NJ ss(fe