Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-02-10

buck, what Mr.. Robertson in his school "
calls "a floating, or fainting, or sink
ing. or q swimming" Perhaps marriage
is patched up, when the young people are
not whit better prepared to marry than
they were years ago, and perhaps with q
disturbing feeling that some Of the best
wears of life have been unwisely spent in
a long delay that has nothing to show for
ITSELF
There is no doubt but wise mother
will seek TO take daughter from such an
eminently unsatisfactory condition OF
affairs. She is not to be thought hard and
worldly, If, with president eye, she de-
tects possible entanglements and strste-
gically guards against them. She has
well. grounded aversion and objection to
the impecunious detrimental. If the mis-
chief is really done we advise her to make
the best of things We are by no means
certain, even if we put ourselves into a
very hard and worldly attitude, that the
rough.and. ready method Of getting rid OF
an injudicious engagement by the simple
process of breaking it off is really the
best. The principle is that if girls can
not form long engagements without
upsetting themselves in this sort Of way,
so far as possible they ought to be kept
from forming long engagements. The
demurrer will be that the young lady who
bears this set of circumstances so i'll must
be pale, colorless, thin, unsubstantial
character The reJoinder is, that young
ladies, although we will not apply to
them such uncivil adjectives, do, as a
rule, bear i'll the trial of long engage
ments. Perhaps they would also bear Ill
the trials OF wifehOOd and motherhood,
especially in chronic state of impecuni-
Osity. 1t may be allowed, also, that there
are some bright, elastic natures, on whom
long engagement has positively invig-
Grating effect. The body of exceptions
which they furnish indicates the extreme
difficulty of laying down any general law
on the subject.
If we might venture to frame a gener-
alization Of any sort, we should say that
the long engagement, which has
such an unsettling effect on the
lady, has frequently settling eff.
feet On the man. 1t makes and
keeps him simple, and steady, and earnest.
If the lover is worth having, the lover,
one would almost think, would be worth
waiting for. The mother of course says
that the long engagement affords such
hazard that II will be broken of, and her
daughter, after wasting her best years and
best feelings, may be Tilted. Perhaps,
however, it Is an inaccurate use of Ian
guage to say that what is earliest is best.
The argument merely cuts in different
way also, that 1t may often save girl
from an unworthy marriage. There is
certainly q constant possibility Of break
of, when the betrOthal Is not. as in Ger
many, solemn ceremony Of the highest
publicity.
There are certain people to whom an
engagement of marriage would be alto
gether forbidden If some sanction were
not given to the long engagement. The
curate in the church, the lieutenant In
the army, the clerk in the bank, such ami
able, domestic, well-educated, well.man-
nered young people would make such
satisfactory husbands, il only that vulgar
element Of filthy lucre existed in sufficient
force. Strange that the mineral sub
stances of gold and silver should make
such q difference to immortal souls But
they, too, are Gods creatures as well as
those who can afford to keep gig. They
may say that they fall in love and become
engaged, not because thcy keep banking
account, but on the simple ultimate
ground that they are human beings. We
think that 1t would be difficult to resist
this plea as matter Of legitimate srgu-
ment. But man cannot be both hare
and barrier. He cannot take broad hu-
man ground in one direction and narrow
conventional ground In another direction.
He should not make an engagement in
definitely long on the plea that he Is the
creature Of civilization. If he makes the
kind OF engagement which is long, he
should resolve that 1t shall not be pro-
longed beyond certain date.
Although the ladies', with their graceful
impetuosity, say that six months Is quite
long enough, yet we think that the Ro-
man law was probably quite fair in per-
hitting term of two years. After that,
let the pair, If the pair have made up their
minds that, for them, marriage is the su-
preme earthly good, get married at
any risk. Let them emigrate, keep q
school, live in an attic, work with
their hands, go without sugar and
butter, let the lady make the bed and
lay the tablecloth, and the gentleman an.
OWcI tuc Dcll 6nu DlhcK MS own DOOta.
Having made their log house in the back
woods of social life in their youth, they
will probably shake down into some good
thing before they have finished. But. If
they are people who fear Mrs. Grundy,
and who are nothing If they are not gen.
teel, they are hardly entitled to tie danger.
GUS luxury of long engagement.
The chief terrors that for the parent
birds surround along engagement arises
from the wretchedly mistaken views of
marriage that prevail among the majority
of women. Any one, we think, who at
tempts to take wide and impartial view
of life would find it extremely difficult to
give clear, unwavering note in favor
either of marriage or celibacy. When
the chances are SO evenly balanced, we
cannot imagine why there should be such
morbid anxiety on either side. We often
think that Q woman of liberal, refined
tastes, fond of life, of society, of intellect.
ual pursuits, makes disastrous exchange
when she surrounds herself with multi.
tudinous cares Of life. Even II we take
the extreme case of those who must do
something for their own livelihood
If they do not marry, there are
still undoubtedly discoversble equiva.
Tents or consolation. Mothers and
daughters, for the most part, attach an
exaggerated importance to marriage.
ThnV poOA ~ II oa n n and l., itacle &, - - 4