The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-09-01
Things Wise and Otherwise.

~0" W AcC AAg0 VSAACA VAcOs
To save hutter-Make it 20 salt that no.
body caH eat it.
The Division of Time-''The Rest of the
week" Sunday.
The American poor are Ike oarpets-they
are held down BY taz.
Pleasant lapse Of time-laps of pretty
women of eighteen.
A fellow who pawned his watch, sid be
raised bis money with leaver.
ways keep out Of his estabfishmsnt9 Miss
Fit.
When is Chinese most ike . vegetable?
Why, when . cue eumbsrs Lis head of
course.
Why does the washing come homo on
Saturday? Because it is the close (clorh es)
of the week.
If as some logicians assert. there is no to.
morrow, We want to know how there can be
! , yesterday.
T. A widower w.s recently rejected BY . dam
Sc! who didn'. want affection that had been
warmed over"
! How to enjoy . nice embracing day at
the seaside-Get on board pleasure boat
and let her hig the shore.
, A business man may get along without
advertising, so may wagon without Greas-
, ins-but it is hard.
] Elder Smith, one Of the Mormon
prophets, hes buried 90 many wives tina. be
deserves to be called Elderbury Smith.
; The helmets worn by the London police
are said 10 be ION lie pattern of that worn
by the late Alexander the Great"
! Mr.. Blinks, whose wife presented him
with a pair of boys this week. speaks OF
himself as having been 500 struck.
A gentleman was asked TO give defni-
ton Of nonsense. Sir" he replied, ito
bolt door with boiled carrot is nom
sense"
To enjoy . pure feast of imagination
when your stomach is empty and your
pocket ditto, sit down and read cookery
book.
Cincinnati wants to know if fashionable
ladies hire their ball dresses 1t has been
remarked that they are becoming higher.
Mss Phelps in her latest book. "Hedg-
ed in, robes her spotless female charac-
ter in white, and her sinful one in black
night gown.
A sharp young lady says there is moth
ing more touching in this life than to see
poor but virtuous young man struggling
with weak moustache.
F.. A little boy who was praised for never
taking his eye off the preacher answered
with simplicity, Il wanted 10 see how near
he was to the end"
Al a recent Sabbash school concert,
little boy got up TO say his "plece" and,
forgetting the words Of the text, hcsitated
moment, then with all the assurance DO
,ible said Blessed are the sboemakers -
An old farmer said to his sons: boys,
don't you ever .pekerlate, or wait for sun
thin to turn up. Yuo might just Is we'll
so an sit down on stone in the middle
of medder, with . pail tetwixt your
legs, an wait for COW to back up to you
to be MIXED"
The Republican Platform.
3: The heap tavern schedule of board is
proverbia'. 1t J s.inS on Monday with
roast b"ef pr,ha =, which is warmed up
fOr Mon lay IA DAY brought on cold
Tor Wedne lay and Thu day, and for the
h,lanco Of The week is hash, hash. hash
Dor The las. five or eight yeas the faith, Il
who have been taking potlucE with the Re-
publican pa"ty bave had to patiently put
up vi i the same TN Of fare. Loyalty,
and R:coas uetion. and the Tariff, have
been put through the changes from year to
year, altered somewhat in general exterior
to relieve them from the old stories Of last
year. until they have come down to the
present time the merest Undesirable stuff
to be imagined. The same OLD ingredients
are there, but they have been SO altered
overt suit lew circumstances and changed
3aaesec. the ofissi6af ehSYee, Hpu(a
existing Republican platforms.
] One trouble with the Republicans has
been their method of Reconstruction. -
f., Perhaps greater pack of sconndl els and
nobodles ever came to the surface than the
Republican carpet baggers who went south
; upon the heels OF the Rebellion, and be
gan the work of reconstruction under
the flag of that party. Renewed quarrels
in those Stat :. rapid depletion OF the pub.
lie moneys and loss of all confidence in
the power of sincerity of the General Gov
eminent to restore order followed upon
these frauds, and to-day there is no create
5, ench in the nostrls Of the loyal 2opula.
ton there than this very Republican ele-
ment.
The Tariff, always article No l. of the
Wings. and their successor the Republicans
IS coming back to plague its inventors.
ihe most prominent papers of that creed
in the West repudiats it utterly and pros
nounce for free trade; while in the East
they demand it IS the means of party
saliva. on.
i These about exhaust the political field,
as the Republicans view it. Not daring to
venture on other grounds. they sit, always
pottering over the many phases and alter.
ed conditions of these questions, which
were dead and sinking long ago, and ask
only not to be disturbed in thu one great
element which binds them together, and
which they are yet united upon-the pos,
session of the of6ces.-[Green Bay Advo-
cate.
: Reducing Taxes.
The radicals are continually claiming
that taxes have been largely reduced since
Grant came into power. This is one Of
! the apologies which Senator Harlan makes
on behalf of the Grant administration
1t is aho the chief burden of the
song of the radical press of tie country.
They we'll know there is no truth in the