The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-07-28
Timing q Fast Horse.

A friend of ours, who owns tine tarm near
Camp Dennison-John we will call him-ls
fond of horses, and has private race-track
where he puts his fast nags through course OF
equine sprouts. Those residing in the vicinity
who have, or think they have, fast nags ire
quently resort to this race-track for the purpose
of testing the speed of their horses. Now, John
is bit of wag, and numerous are the jokes
he has PLAYED off upon his friends in Ginning"
their horses with his patent stop watch. Ev-
cry man likes to think he has got fast horse,
and when told that his horse has made mile
in 2.3O when he has no idea he could get below
the ffties, he naturally feels elated, don't you
see-especially when so grave and earnest man
as our friend John holds the watch, and that
watch is known the country round for its reia-
bility.
If anybody else were to time the speed of the
mars thew might question its authenticity, but
JoRn-no one thought of questioning him or
his patent watch. One day last fall neigh
boring farmer, who couldn't sleep very well
nights because he had got it into his head that
colt he owned was fast, brought the said colt
to Johns race-track to try his speed. John
very accommodatingly held his patent watch
while the owner of the colt drove around the
track. :,
"Two-thirty-eight" {" yelled John, as the colt
passed the mile post.
"What's that?" shouted the man, in aston
| ishment
1.-TWO minutes and thirty-eight seconds ex-
actly," replied John, without moving muscle
This was so much better than the colt pro-
prietor had anticipated that he couldn't believe
it possible, and said so.
feHold the watch yourself, them" said John,
somewhat gruffly, eff you can't believe me"
"Oh," replied the man, fastening to conclll-
ate, ~ don't question your meaning IN the
matter but you might have made mistake on
the WATCH" =,
"Don'tyou know this is a patent stop watch p
inquired John. "It can't make any mistake
there, YOU see, it has stopped on two minutes
thirty-eight seconds. I'll drive around and you
time the colt"
Now the interior of the track was planted
with corn, and forest of corn-stalks reared
their lofty heads there, completely obstructlne
more than very limited view of the track
The word ego" was given, and John got.
AS soon as he was out of sight of the others ne
darted through woods that traversed the corn
field. cutting off nearly half the distance, sc
that when he reached the mile-post the owner
of the colt fairly danced with joy as he roareo
out:
"TUo-thirty-onc-and-a- By hokey."
The man was nearly wild with exclteHeno
refused five hundred dollars John offered tol
his colt on the spot, and hurried home with nj;
ncwlv-found treasure He was on the lookou
for some fair where he was confident of being
able to "scoop em ALL as he said: The Blan
chester fair came off in little while, and there
was our hero with his wonderful colt. lie pu
him in against the fastest trotter they had, be-
his money freely, and to his own horror and the
nearly five minutes in getting round: In utter
disgust, he sold the colt for a moderate sum
and is entirely cured of the fast horse com
plant He don't know to this day that John
stopped his "stop watch on him, and he is ig'
norant of the short cut through the corn held
but he don't want any more fast horses John
has cured several embryo horsemcn in the same
way, and looks upon himself as benefactor o.
his race if he isn't of the horse race. Hi;
treatment is expensive but effectual.-Ctnc'n
natl Times.