The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1870-07-13

S"T. "u- as r.tHart..C .i..,; ..c-uI5s- s..
l,anurr> 80 hot make ii u,.u hui wl.u j.
made they improv, Iii hpprurunce vs-tIv."
THE poet lives by liz lines" 80 dors the
fisherman. and We h'lirve the latter lives Il.
great deal the best.
In New Orleans policeman ha> ieen dis
missed from the force f,r having Il wompn in
UNIFORM doing duty for him while h. slept.
A New Jersey farmer. advertising his es-
tate. commrnds it To purchasers on account
of the excellent champagne madef fromsits
turnips."
1t is said that two Philadelphia news
papers have lengthy obituaries OF Edwin
Forrest IN type. awaiting the demise Of the
great tragedian.
An Ohio girl has beeu widening her
sphere 10 New Michigan, by acting as FIRST
lieutenant of canal boat and Z. seeend nuse
OF a rake factory. in meas Clothes.
There was u jolly time when the las. Of
the Fenians left ST. Albans for home-they
were glad to go. and the citizens were glad
they were going.
An Iowa farmers harrow teeth scrsped
rock a few days ago. and revealed the fact
that it was nugget of pure copper. weigh
ing one hundred and seventeen pounds.
A tipsy sailor spent sonic Time in examining
a cane bOttOmed chair, and then said " Dang
my buttons, but 1T was a cute fellow that
twisted that cane around all them little
holes"
So plentiful are the grasshoppers III salt
Lake City that the stencil arising from the
accumulation of their dead carcassc6 IS terri
bic, and is tseriously affecting the health of
the city.
Fond mother, with son Of :. Very open
countenance-"H He's pretty good boy. but
he don't take to his letters "squire-"Well
he Oughter, for his mouth is like the slit of d
post Office box"
Josh Billings says bachelors are aiways
Dragging over their freedom, Freedom to
darn their own stockings and poultiss them
own shins. l had rather be widower once
in2 years, reglar, than to be grunting, old,
bachelor only 80 days. Ill
Said youngster in high gler. displaying
his purchases tn his hosom fri-nd on the side
walk. Two cocoanuts fer ten GENTS
They will make me sick i,- u"rrow. and III
not have tn 60 To >cho" " 5..
Fanny Fern (Mr<. Pnrinu) sav- IN ..she
hoes not bsl-v- man means anything he
-a, :" w".n"" unl~-- it is So n. thing dis
agreeable " What In the world has Mr.. P.
h.er doing!
AT a vocal enter anm..nt the .,ther eve
ing one nf the lady singers wore low
npckei dress. A little girl Of three years.
seeing her. exclaimed. tn the amusement of
til. ,-- in hearing. '.Oh. mamma. WI It makes
her go h,ref .oted on the neck'"
A Mr.. H,nnah J,ne- pi.n~Iv raised a
tablet T., the ,nrm"rv If The Departed j ,nes
wac lad t...e, a h,>ier the inscription of
which. after recording bis many virtues.
wound up with the following coaplet:
lie left his hose his Hannah and his love
To 60 and slug hosannsh in the realms above.
A dotiug mother of waggish bov. hay
ing bottled up nice lot of preserves. la
helled them. ''Put up by Mrs. D.
johnny, having discovered them. soon ate
tine contents of the bottl-, aud wrote on the
bottom Of the label. Put down by Johnny
D."
Vena and Minard had slight nisunder-
standing one day. and Vena. fired with In
dignation against her big brother, kicked
the cat. Johnny, who was Nena's favorite
brother. the performance. and said
). Vena. that cat amt all Minard's; its part
nine." Well" sal Fena, with self
satisfied air, - kicked Minard'> part"
Among the auditors at a Decoration Day
discourse in Massachusetts town, was Il
beautiful young lady. accompanied by
bright little boy of five years. Stirred, like
Itbers. by the eloquent words of the orator.
he eyes of the lady grew dim wth tears
Whereupon the little boy, too young to com
prehend the occasion, but p,ned to see bis
mother weep. said. softly: please, mother,
1on't cry; somebody eiee's folks hos talk
ng about.
a few days since, a little ragged urchin
was sent by tradesman TO collect bill.
He began in the usual way. but becoming
more aud more Importunate, at length the
,enileman's Patience being exhausted, he
,a'd to him: =" You need not dun ..a so i,ard;
am not going t" run away Il don't sup
pose you are" said ne boy, scratching his
head. :" but my master is, and he wants the
money"