The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1870-02-23

trO0Oie TO DlmSelI, ana nave ner con-
stantly to his house like his sister-as
he tells his wife--calling lrr by hel
Christian name, and making her al.
most one of his own family, with sim.
| ply the house-door between. This car
be done sometimes with good sense
good temper, and steady principle al
round. But even these not too exces
sive manifestations of interest can bt
shown, as rule, only to widows o,
spinsters; not evento separated wives
Tor when once woman .mairies, SHE
loses her male friends more thorough.
~ than even a man loses his. Even il
she is separated. men are shy of be.
frierding her; if she is living with hel
husband the thing is out of the ques.
ton. Marriage is understood to include
every affection possible to two com
paniOns OF the opposite sex; the world
at least in England, not having come
yet to the recognition of classified loves
and life made mp of mosaic work OF
attachments. The wife or husband is
held to complete the cycle and if by
chance it happens, and it does same
times happen, that the marriage ia one
without sympathy or intellectual cam
partnership, the void must he endured
in silence, and no attempt made to fill
it up by ont-Of-d"or friend ships. We
cannot understand that man should
love his wife and yet have platonic
attachment for another woman. The
werld would laugh at the assumption
of the platonism, which it would take
as convenient mask for something
very different; and the wife would not
like it, and perhaps would believe in
it as little as the world. Aud what we
cannot accept with men we allow still
less to women; wherefore, as we said
before, friendship of any closeness
whatevery is next to impossible will, a
| married woman, unless the friend il
young enough to be her son, or the
husband is abnormally genetous or OBJ
fuse. And even with young men, il
we are to believe Dumas and Others OF
his school, friendship means only pas
sion IN disguise, and the last love OF
mature sirens is the first love of the
youth with whom she began by '.moti,-
| erhO0d." OF course a woman's best
friend should be her brother or her
husband, if she has one. Yet if her
husband is not sympathetic with her,
and If she has no brother, it seems
rather hard on her that she NAV have
no male friend to supplement her own
deticIences--nn manly Judgment to
guide her in difficult moments, no care.
no guardianship of any kind. But this
is one of the many lardships in mis-
matched marriage; and the wife, whose
nj INa nj 10 rcso
sent to be lonely-infinitely more lone.
" than she who has no husband at all.
Sometimes we see bold push made
for it, and a woman standing out
against the opinion of the world, and
fearlessly proclaiming her right to
have valuable friendship and her ex-
ercise of that right. The power OF
maintaining her position certainly lies
with her more tllan with the man, for
it is she who determines her lines of
relation with men, and the test of her
moral sincerely is in her ability to re-
sist encroachments. If a man feels
sure that exact limits have been set to
his position, he will respect them and
not risk the humiliation of repuise.
1t is only when women are weak, in
sincere to themselves, vain, cnqnet-
fish, or exceptionally passionate. that
men are tempted over the line, and the
platonism of their friendships falls to
the ground as confessed hnmbug. II
women are strong enough to be true
to the platonic programme, men will
be true TO it also; but most women have
but very shaky backbones, and the sex
as sex has not learnt yet to say. No.
Yet, if a mans friendliness is valuable
TO a woman. so is hers to him. The
honest affection and sympathy of sem
sible women are priceless to man;
and he must he mere cl0d who can-
not appreciate their beauty and nse.
There are thousand difficulties and
embarrassments in which he needs her
advice and help; and no one perhaps
is SD miserable as the man whose life is
wholly without womanly sympathy.
Still, one of the most foolish things Il
woman can do is to proffer her friend
ship to a man. She might as we'll
make him an offer of her love ont OF
hand. for the effect she will produce on
his mind. How sincere suever she may
be, she is not believed in; and even
men, who are not tops else, take her to
mean love when she says friendship,
and either accept her on their own
terms, which were never meant to be
hers, or laugh at her for futile attempt
The fact is, we rough, hirsu,e creatures
are so little used to intellectual init
maces with woman, or to good com
radeship with any belonging to US by
blood or marriage, that we do not
know what to do with their friendship
when offered. And perhaps, all things
considered, it is a dang, rous gift, save
with women of singularly exceptional
conditions-the condition counting
more than the temperament. For the
women, who are most capable of friend
ship are not the cold and phlegmatic,
as would seem at first sight, but those
who have life beside the mere life oi
emotion which is generally the only
one the sex possesses such as artists
or literary women-that is, women
with serious occupation and an ali.
sorbiug pursuit. These women have
large neutral tracts of interest where
they can meet men on equal terms; con.
sequently NIL that instinct Of flirting
and love-makihg and jealousy and ex-
clusiveness which spells SO many
friendships has no place with tnem
and they have neither time nor inter
| est tO snare for the f.llies of seDtimeD.