The Placer herald., 1870-12-03
TERENCE MIGRANT.
Comes to New York TO Elect WO0df0rd--
Makes a Colsred Speech.
GnNEnNnKS OuANn.
C'V ' Taas-NIFN y NIIf89f9NHi
Jist Forninst New York, Oct. 27

MISrHER PUMMERY. Not long since,
when heard the yellow faver was devash-
tating Governors Oiland, and numbering
United Shtates soldiers fashter than iver we
could recruit new wones, | thanked me shtars
| was not soldier, compelled to ate haired
tack, and die and turn yellow like an orange,
but be gorra me fradom was short-lived
Little did think then that would SO sooL
be here, drawing mule mate for rations, and
divil the chance to get pass to 90 to Brook
lyn to get iishky, or to hare Bacher prache
his new doctrine about thare not being ony
hell to shpake Of | think Bacher is right
Fhat the divil is the use Of praching about
hell hereafther, whin Governors Oiland is so
near Brooklyn, wid the yallor flver the yare
round It's washte OF wind that costs the
congregation a moiehty big salary.
Me cousin Ulisses held Cabinet mating
in box-shtall in the barn, fhich was attend
ed be Dint and meself and the bulldog
He made a short spache, in fhich he alluded
to the wideshpread ignorance Of the voters
Of the coanthry, as shown be the returns Of
the late election, and said that unless some
thing was Immediately done to gain a Re-
publican victory, we might all be packing
our Trunks for the poor-house at once
Then me cousin Ulsses alluded to the cleo
ton about to be held in New York, and
gave it as his unbiased opinion that unless
Woodford was assishted be the Government
he would be baten, which would room me
cousins proshpects for reelection in 1872.
Then he said he had made up his mind to
sind throops to New York to prevent the
Dmmecrats from voting, and he wanted me
to go there and do fiat | could for the com
mon cause of humanity, be numbering ony
quantity Of Dimmecrats, and ony such
amusements | might deem loyal, and the
loike. | towld him | was as patriotic as
onybody, and would willingly die for me
country, but would choose ony other death
but yellow faver. Handing me demijohn
of fshky, he said l naden't have ony fear
if I used it judiciously. He said he had
lived for years in country where all the
inhabitants died livery year of yellow faver
and he niver had divil the attack Of it, So
tuck the bottle, and hare | am, dhrunk as
me cousin iver was, while | write this. If
there is ony virtue in the medicine, | am in
divi the danger.
The firsht thing did on arriving here,
and inshpecting the throops, to see how many
had died during the pravious night wild yel-
low fayer, was to sind to Gineral Woodford,
and request his highness to call on me. |
had heard me cousin tell so much about his
bravery, and thirstness for human gore,
that had fears he might ate me up. Whn
| saw him coming got behind house, and
addressed him thus:
General, says |, "the accounts of the
daring dades which you have performed on
the bloody field of carnage have precaded
you, and you musht kape your dishtance.
am not afraid, but having family Of nu
merous wives to maintain, | musht protect
meself So the first intimation have of a
desire on your part to make meal of me,
shall call the police Besides, by gorging
yourself on me, you run narrow chance of
taking the yellow faver. Beware says |,
He said was nadelessly alarmed. He also
towld me that the populace had got wrong
impression as to his blood-letting propensi-
ties. In time of peace he informed me he
was ordinarily as mild as a bread pill, but
whin the blast of war blew in any of his ears,
then he initiated the action of Morrisseys
tiger, by stitfening his sinews, servinga sum-
mons on his blood, and slaughterng count
less millions, by proxy, and drawing pay as
brigader. Hc soon Gained mr. fears, and