The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-10-20

Thousands OF laboring men are said
TO be out Of work in New York.
A prosperous man who yields him
self up to temptation bids farewell to
welfare.
IA fool and his moneyn-Are the
delight ofmatch-making mothers.
Yellow fever by way of San Fran
cisco-John Chinaman.
Cant we make your lover jealous,
missT' ''0h yes, think we can, If
We put our heads together"
A Frenchman, wishing to compli-
ment girl as '1ittle lamb" called
her "smau mutton"
Why is a carpenter like a barber
Because he can't get along without
shavings.
Pennsylvania has produced 28,O0O,-
600 barrels of petroleum in the pass
ed ten years.
The ruin Of most men dates from
some idle hour. Occupation is an ar
NOR to the soul.
A Punster passing by the shop Of a
certain Mr.. Taswell, observed that
his name would be As-well without
the T.
A woman in Windsor, Canada, has
become such an inveterate tobacco
chewer that sne puts ten cent pack
age into her mouth at once.
zone ought every day. says Goe.
the, sat least hear little song, read
81 good poem, see fine picture, and,
if it be possible, to speak ewreason-
able words
The word 'sstaten spelled backward
is "etGts" in French. 1t is not safe,
however, to undertake to learn French
simply by going back on your Eng
lish.
children. His name is Furlong, and
he he has four girls and four boys
eight furlongs make mile.
Gardeners mind their peas, actors
mind their cues, but church wardens,
instead Of minding their p's and q's,
very often give theirattention to their
pews and keys.
/ think / am rather fond of silent
people myself, 1 can not bear to live
with person who feels compelled to
talk because he is my companion
[Disraeli.
The official census gives Kansas
City 80, ,296 inhabitants. This shows
an increase OF about q, 600 since 1885,
and makes Kansas City the second
city in the State.
''There is not a single Confederate
prisoner in the custody of the United
States anywhere, at this time" So
says Adjutant General Townsend, in
response to an inquiry as to whether
there are any Confederate prisoners
in the Dry Tortugas.
A recent sermon of Spurgeon's con-
tains q sentence which be as much
appreciated here as in England:
Brethren said Spurgeon, Hif God
had referred the ark to a Committee
on Naval Affairs, in my opinion it
would not have been built yet"
A bashful youth was Iamenting to
his parental progenitor the ordeal of
popping the question "PoohID SAID
the patriarch, chow do you suppose I
managed?7 'fYou talk" responded
the hopeful; "you married mother.
and I've got to marrya strange girl.
The Shreveport Southwestern SAYS:
This morning small icullud pusson'
was at breakfast, when a diminutive
two-year-old Of the white persuasion
came up and drank all her coffee. The
following dialogue ensued: Oar,
you dun drunk up all my coffee. tEeb-
ct mind, Allie, God send you more
Look heah, boy God don't send coffee
ready parched and ground
The Grand Lodge of the Odd Eel
lows of Kansas, which has been in
session, adjourned the 18th inst. The
Annual Report of the Grand Master
shows the order to be in a very pros
porous condition. There are sixty.
four lodges in the State, and three
Thousand members.
The accounts of the Pension Office
Tor the year ending June 30th, show
the yearly expenditures last year
amounted to S27, ,750, 600, being S642,-
. 900 less than the year before, although
25,O0O pensioners have been added to
the list. 1t is thought that the ex-
penses for pensions will decrease from
year TO year, rather than increase.
The Providence Press says that one
of the census enumerators in that
city put down in his list, twins, oppo-
site the names Of two children, and
against the first he designated Provi-
dence as the birthplace. The thick
headed men in Washington sent the
list back to have the deficiency ac-
eouUted for. What they wanted to
know was-where that other twin
was born.