Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-06-24
CAVALIER Dogs,
Mark Twain History of the Founder
of tho Family and his Descendants.

Mark Twain History of the Founder
OF tho Family and his Descendants.
When Noah disembarked at Ararat, he
had scarcely touched the pier when he pro-
ceeded to rally his passengers. He had
| Just checked his last item in the list-a Mr..
and Mrs. Bedbug-when the cringing fig.
ure of quadruped came sneaking down
the gang-plank with his tail between his
legs 'Drat, it, if there amt that yalle1
dogp says Noah, aiming vicious kick with
his brogan at the brute. But, with facil
ity born of long and bitter experience, the
brute lodged the projectile, and ejaculat.
ing tki-yi," which is Syriac for declined
with thanks" or mot for Jo," he disap.
peared, while Noah, who had his sea-legs
on, was unable to recover his equilibrium,
and sat down with emphasis on the back
of his head.
| Noah arose, and, in accordance with the
style prevalent among the patriarchs, he
proceeded to soothe his affronted dignity
by pronouncing variegated anathema
upon the yaller dog, which had character.
istically sneaked unobserved on board, in
the confusion of putting to sea, and cap.
sized the captain at the first port. He
cursed that dog in body, limb, bark, hide,
hair, tail, and wag, and all his generations,
relations, and kindred, by consequently or
affinity, and his heirs and assigns. He
cursed him with endless hunger, with per-
petual fear, with perennial laz1ness, with
| hopeless mango, with incessant deas, and
with his tail between his legs. He closed
| his stock of maledictions by sparkling
display of pyrotechnics, from the democrat
izing effect of which the yaller dog has
never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like a
revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't help
being "cussed." He don't try to help it.
He follows Noah's programme with sneak
| ing fidelity. He is an Ishmaelite among
dogs He receives the most oppressive
courtesies in the form of brickbats, boots,
and hot water, which make his life an ami
mated target excursion. He boards around
! like district school-teacher, and itismeal
time with him "a hours in the day. The
rest of the time he bankers after something
to eat He is too omniverOus for an cpl
cure. Cram him at Delmomico's, and he
would hunger for dessert from an Albany
boarding house.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired
AS swill-cart locomotive, hunter, or q
sentinel, he is an ignominious failure. The
dog-churn was strategic attempt to en-
ploy his waste energies, but he hadn't any
waste energies, and butter had too much
self-respect to s'come" at his persuasion.
So the dog-churn was dropped.
No sausage maker dare foreclose his lien
on the yaller dog, lest his customers-no
longer ''soothed and sustained by an un.
faltering trust transfer their patronage
to some less audacious dealer. The say.
ages, who admire baked dog, and who can
even attack tripe and explore the myster-
les of hash without dismay, acknowledged
the yaller dog to be too much for their gas
trio intrepidity.
He always manages to belong to rag
ged, tobacco.chewing, whisky drinking
master, whose business is swapping dogs
and evading the dog tax. The yaller dog
is acquainted with himself, and he ENJOYS
the intimacy with edifying contempt. He
sinks along through lie, on a diagonal
dog-trot, as in doubt as to which end of
him is entitled to the precedence. He is
always pervaded by a hang.dog sense of
guilt, and when retributive tinware is fast
ened to his tail, he ''flies from the wrath
to come" with Mortified cslsrity which
ought to be very suggestive to two legged
sinners of q similar ordeal in store for him.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak in ital-
| les he is q SLOUGH.