The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1870-06-01
MIsCELLANEOUs ITEMS.

fslsss heods.
I, --when Is . bstfsray Ike, . k::. ?
Whsglt slights ob tu.lips.
-Ths bsss way To- got . sweet hus-
band. = 20 marry eoDfeetionsr.
AR ''snti oustsehe movement" has
been started ID .B>stop.
: why is : kiss like scaudle Be-
cause goes from mouth TO mouth.
1.-Two drinks OF Pittsburg whiskey
have proved enough to get up q funeral.
The lords. Of ereation-ths land
lord.
boston has subscribed 81 900 to
the Richmond sufferers.
j, Politicians are like Calvinists; !;
they believe in the doctrines Of elec-
tion.
Tho latest agony in New York is to
carry small scent bottles, lot into the
umbrellas handles.
Determined perseverance, seldom
fails Of reward. IF you whistle long
enough, breeze will spring up.
The husband Of scolding wife, on
being asked what he did for living,
replied that he "kept a hot house."
when boxing with friend uevor
hit him in the com mmissary department.
1t always hurts his feelings.
Gen. Longstreet appeared in the
procession gotten up by the negroes in
New Orleans in honor of the passage Of
the fifteenth amendment.
-Ap habitual drunkard differs from
a man about to be hanged in this res
peot ono must take drop to live-the
other takes<t to die.
-"Guilty or not guilty ?" said a
judge to native of the Emerald Isle
"Just As yer honor PLACES. It's not
the like o'em to dictate to yer honor's
Worship" was the reply.
An insane man alarmed Philadel-
Phia on Friday by ringing the State
House bell, bringing the 6rcmen aud
citizens to the spot. BE said he was
bringing the merry chimes of freedom" ("
Governor Hoffman, Of New York,
has signed the Staten Island bridge bill.
The work will COS. 81 ,OU0,O0O and viii!
be begun at an early day.
The principal occupation of the
"girl Of tho period" is said to be to sit
at her window and watch for "the
coming man."
m. p. Susiskey, the late city trea-
surer OF st. Louis, failing to give $780,.
OOO bonds, was sent to Jail On an indict.
mens against him for embezzling $140,-
600.
-"Remember who you are talking
to, cir r. said an indignant parent to a
traotious boy II am your father, sir |"
"W ell, who's to blame for that" said
young impertinence, tisn't me-"
An English writer asserts that
American women are as deep as the
Mediterranean. How does he know?
Has he been to seas
1t is estimated that over hundred
young ladies' are at present studying law
in this country. Probably they will all
become mothers.in-law one Of these
days.
An old bachelor having been laugh.
ed at by bevy of pretty girls, told
then that they were small potatoes.
awe may be small potatoes, ;" replied
one of the maidens, "but We are sweet
Ones"
-"Barber," said farmer to his
tonsor, "now oorn's cheap, you ought
to shave for half price" "Can't, Mr..
jones'" said the man of razors. 81
ought really to charge more, for when
corn's down, farmers make such long
faces that l have twice the ground to 20
over"
"A female lecturer said: "Get mar
ried, yonng men, and be quick about it.
Don't wait for the millennium, for the
girls to become angels. You'd lsok
well beside an angel, wouldn't you, you
brutes?"
-Ifa Chicago girl wants to get
breach of promise case, she makes bet
of kiss with him and loses She pays
him the kiss in the presence of q Wit
ness, then sues him for breach of
promise aud trifiiDg with her affections,
and 30 forth. Look out for 'em whcn
they offer to bet kiss.
"A civil engineer OF Edinburg, Scot.
land has invented steam engine, or
locomotive for common roads that has
proved capital success. A number of !
them of different sizes, and Of ten, six
and three horse power, have been in
use On the common, poor, crooked roads
in Scotland, and do an immense amount
of heavy work, with admirable facility.
Thick rubber tires are used on tho
wheels, thus preventing all coucussion,
and ipsuriog tho durability of the en-.
giDe. This important invention is be.
lieved to make it possible TO advantage
ously introduce steam ploughing into
this country.
1t is very prevalent notion that cats
are fond Of sucking the breath oG in.