The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1870-03-03
The Common Crimes of Con
versation,
From the Old and New.


There are the careless people, those
" who know the right, and yet the wrong
pursue" They plunge recklessly on
without thought tor the words they use
their sentences abound with EXPLANATIONS
and explosives more expressive than
choice Their slang phrases are an of
fence to cultivated ears and they ex-
haust the superlatives of the language on
the most ordinary occasions. 1t is they
who preface every sentence, even on triv-
ial topics,with my stars?" "By George =
by Jupiter!" Gracious!" GOOD
Lord !" Thunder!" You bet ""No,
you don't!" In their vocabulary, Oh ! y
g Indeed, yes I" " Welli" And all" are
as thickly strewn as leaves in Vallambro-
sa. With them funeral is "jolly," a
prayer meeting funny" an ordinary
performance is first rate, the lowest
round on the ladder Of beauty is real
pretty" their indiscriminate admiration
is expressed by the much-abuscd epithets,
splendid, beautiful, magnificent, superb,
exquisite" etc. Any violation of law be-
longing to their code is shameful" a
refusal to conform to their wishes is
+" horrid mean !" common cold is " ter
lible," and headache is F" beyond endu-
rance" They are always roasted or
" frozen" or Melted" their friends are
beautified with every virtue; and their
enemies are the offscourings of the race.
They 80 completely exhaust the language
on common occasions that no words are
left to give expressions to their deeper
feelings
A second class includes those who vic
late the laws of etymology. They have
been thoroughly trained in the grammar
of language, and yet refuse to be regula
ted by its precepts. This class is large
one, and inclHdes among its audacious
sinners /:
/. Those who use the objective case for
the nominative ut is me-" for at is I :;
& It is her" for i" It is she :" 1T is us,
for 1t is We"
g.. Those who use the nominative case
for the objective; as s Between you and
l." for Between you and me-" Like
you and l." for Like you and me &" Z"
know who you mean" for" know whom
you mean"
g. Those whose subjects and verbs do
not agree in number, and person; as,
'sSays l." for " Say I !" i" You was" for
"You were;" "My feet's cold," for
f" MY feet are cold" "There's thirty
for There are thirty"
4. Those who use the indicative mood
for the subjunctlve :" If I was YOU" for
eff were you"
s. Those who use the present tense for
the past 81 see you yesterday" for /
saw you yesterday"
6. Those who use the intransitive verb,
for the transltivc; eff he is mind to-"
for If he has mind to-"
T. These who use incorrectly the nuch-
abused verbs sit and ,,lie; as, + am going
to lay down. for " I am going to lie
down." az laid down this morning,
for l lay down this mornings" IT shall
set there" for I" / shall sit there"
s Those who use the adverb for the
adjective as, "She looks beautifully"
for "She looks beautiful +" or it's oppo-
site "She walks graceful" for She
walks gracefully"
9. Those who uso. a plural adjective
with singular noun; "Those kind !"
for That kind" g Six pair" for Six
pairs"
10. Those who use the compound rela
tive for the conjunction; as, I" I do not
know but what WILL" for 81 do not
know but that will"
IL. Those who use the objective case
after the conjunction than" as He
knows more than me-" for "He knows
more than |.
10. Those who use double negatives !;
as No, you don't neither" for No, you
don't either"
10. Those who use the wrong preposi
ton as, Different to- for Different
from !" In regard to-" for "With re-
gard to-
IA. Those who use the superlative de-
gree for the comparative ; as, "The old
est of the two" for the elder of the
two"