davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13
Registered Letters.

The Postofice Department has
issued a circular relative to regis
tered letters, which will produce a
much needed reform In the regis
tering system. Heretofore, when
a registered letter was not called
for by the person to whom it was
addressed, it was sent to the Dead
Letter Office, to be from there re-
turned to the writer, provided the
name or address could be discov-
cred. This plan resulted in con-
siderable delay, at least; and to
obviate this, and provide for the
direct return of "uncalled for
letters to the writer's thereof, the
department directs that the Post
master receiving a registered let
ter shall require the sender to
write his pane and address, plaiL-
ly upon the end of the envelope,
in the same way as business men
print their names and addresses
upon their business envelopes
After a letter remains in an Office
for thirty days without being called
for, it is then returned to the Office
from which sent, the Postmaster
of which will endeavor to return
it to the writer. If he cannot be
found, the letter is then to be
sent to the Dead Letter Office,
where it will be opened and pur-
sued for some clue to the changed
location of the writer, as in the
case of all letters sent to that
office.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13
gtinplf Of the alnsrs.
To MY Mother.
Mother, once Tread a story


Mother, once read story
OF shell from oceans bed,
Carried far o'er land and water, AiL
By strangers hand, tits said;
Which, though long o'er dreary desert
With its captor forced to roam,
Never ceased its wailing, sighing T.
! For its pearly ocean home. 7r
So thy child, my precious mother,
Though he wanders far from thee.
In his heart is ever longing, f.e-
Longing by thy side to be;
l would hear thy loving counsels,
Feel thy tender sympathy; re
Have thy soft and soothing accents
In my heart make melody.
+ii gao 3il 5t ti-i n lslt 1
When my day of toll is over Rsr
And lay me down to rest,
l would have thy loving fingers z
Z Smooth the cover o'er my breast;
i would feel the gentle pressure
Onmy hot and wearied brow,
OF thy lips, so pure and holy
All, that joy has left me now. T.
Mother, if in life's hard battle
should quit me brave and well, rs
And for God and man and country
Do such deeds as shall excel,
1t was you who shaped my bearings
In my plastic infancy;
Under Him who gave me being,
Mother, be the praise to thee.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13
An ola German farmer manned

An old German farmer named
Peter Mock, at a late court day at
Grayson, KY, was party in suit
in which a jury was empannelled.
The Judge asked Peter if be OBJ
jected to anybody on the jury.
EYES," said Peter earnestly; Il
objects ter Pill Franklin" "Why
Bill franklin is not on the jury, I"
said the Judge. "VelL,I / don Il care
a tam, chudge;7I objects to Pill
Franklin any way: he's meddling
NIT my pisness all der time, and
/ object ter Pill Franklin on brin-
ciple all der time" His objec-
ton couldn't be considered under
the circumstances.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A congregation in Wisconsin
was almost driven to the brink of
despair, on Sunday last, in cOnse-
quence OF the unexplained absence
of the pastor, when the sexton
lose in his seat with awful solem-
nifty and said "There has been a
duplex arrival of the mail. Our
worthy shepherd has two little
lambs added to his flock. Twins,
brethren, twins. Let us pray"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A disgraceful scene was enacted
by two druken brothers, quite
recently, at Buffalo. Both had
neglected their wives, until death
had released one, and seemed
about to deal with similar kind
ness toward the other. The
drunkards met in bar near the
house where the corpse lay, and
fought about some trivial matter,
until they fell insensible to the
floor.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

Itwas reported in Williamsport,
Pa, among the elite, that one OF
the upper ten was in the habit of
beating his wife, and a committee
of old ladies were deputed to wait
upon her and learn the facts from
her own lips. They did SO, and
to their horror learned that he
was in the habit of beating her.
"But," remarked the lady, sit is
at euchre y The committee miz-
Zled.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

0 BAD BARGA1Ns.-Once a Sun
day. school teacher remarked that
he who buys the truth makes a
good bargain; and inquired if any
scholar recollected an instance in
Scripture Of a bad bargain.
81 do" replied boy. "Esau
made a bad bargain when he sold
his birthright for a mess of pot
tage." "la1ds' z9v-:s .l.ia D-os
s. A secondosaid l"Judas made a
bad bargain when he sold his Lord
for thirty pieces of silver"
A third boy observed: "Our
Lord tells us he makes bad bar
gain who, to gain the whole world,
loses his own soul."
| have seen a good many boys
in my time who have made bad
bargains. Some change the Sum-
day-school for the streets; aud
home for wicked company; and
the Bible for bad books; health for
tobacco. They always get the
worst of if. Boys, look out for
these bad bargains, - Young Reap
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A box containing a black bear
was received at an express Office
in San Francisco. the other day
with this inscription " Black Bare.
Ef you don't want to get bit, kepe
yer fingers outen the crax."
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

During the trial of case at
Louisville, a witness persisted in
testifying to what his wife told
him. To this the attorney object
ed and it was ruled out by the
Judge. He would proceed to tell
"shoots how it wash" when the at
torney would cry out:
"How do you know that 2"
"My wife told me-" was the re-
ply.
This was repeated several times.
The Judge unable to contain him
self, interrupted
Suppose your wife were to tell
you the heavens had fallen, what
would you think 2"
"Vell, think they wash down.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A lazy dyspeptic was bewailing
his own misfortunes, and speak
ing with a friend on the latter's
hearty appearance. "What do
you do to make you so strong and
healthy2' inquired the dyspep-
tic. 'Live on fruit alone" an
swered the friend. "What kind
Of fruit ?" ''rhe fruit of industry,
and | am never troubled with in
digestion" q
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

The colored servant Of Miss
Minnie Brab1ry, Of Marshallcoun-
ty, Ind, who was studying for the
ministry, says, "Missus prays berry
well at present, but will do better
presently"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

"Was il your eldest daughter,
madam, that was bitten by a mon-
key ?" ''No, sir, it was my young
est. My eldest daughter had q
worse misfortune she married u
monkey s1ow cd
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

ever again saw or heard of Lindley
Grey. e -
But although they stoutly de.
clare thar they are no believers in
theold times superstition, they are
both secretly inclined to put faith
in the fantastic prophesies Of
dreams.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

Charles-"Tell me, Laura,
why that sadness? Tell me why
that look of care? Why has fed
that look Of gladness that thy face
was won't to wear?' Laura
"Charles, It's useless to dissemble ;
well my face may wear frown, for
I've lost my largest hairpin, and my
chignon'S coming down y
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A Havana letter says that of
The 1000 recruits sent there last
fall from Spain, not $500 can
now be mustered for duty. Sick
ness, death and the chances of
the field have taken the rest.
Such are the results of war. %
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

They have turned up an an
cient grasshopper in Missouri,
measuring four inches In length,
an inch across the back, and hav-
ing hind- legs three and one-half
inches in length. 1t is supposed
to be the grasshopper mentioned
by the preacher as likely to "be-
come a burden"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A courteous Frenehman, In re-
ply to question why ladies were
not permitted in the Chamber of
Deputies, said, that to be a mem
Der it was required to be forty
years of age, and it was impossible
to suppose that any lady would
reach that unseemly age.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A Providence policeman asked
a drunken Ethiopian whom he
could scarcely see in the dim light
of a station house cell--"Are you
colored ?" "ColOged3 no, dis yer
chile born 81" ~
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

"Sir," said an asionished land
lady TO traveller who bad just
sent his cup forward for the sew.
enth time, "you must be very fond
of coffee" ''Yes, madam, I am" "
replied he, cor | never should have
drank so much water TO get a lit
tle."
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A LONG JoURNEY.-"Mamma,
will you go to Heaven when you
die?' 81 hope SO, my dear" Sand
nurse?" 81 hope so; she's good
woman, and all good people go to
Heaven" ''Then, please, may I
go to the dogs with papa? He
says he's going there and twill be
SO much nicer"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

An Illinois man bet that he
could eat a dozen green apples,
and he won the bet. The coro-
ner was Of the opinion that he
died OF cholera morbas-
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

81 have a great love for old
hymns" said a pretty girl to mas
culine companion. 81 am much
fonder of young hers" was his re-
ply.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A lady easght her husband
breaking her hoops. Two hours
afterwards the unfortunate nan
was seen at a drug store psrehas-
ing hair restorative.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A young man in Ohio recently
opened a clothing store, and was
sent to Jail for it. Reason-the
clothing store belonged to anUth-
er man.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13
Important Newspaper
z ili's Change. -u'')-i-

The Hearth and Home, a finely
illustrated family journal OF a
high character, hitherto isslied by
Messrs Pettengill, Bates & CO.,
has been purchased by Messrs.
Orange Judd & Co., Of 245 Broad
way, New York, the well-known
publishers of the Ameri;oah Agri.
culturist. Messrs. S. NJ. Petten-
gill & Co., whose great Advertis-
ing Agency, established in 1849,
is one of the largest and most re-
putable in the world, and that
their extensive business requir-s
their exclusive attention, and
they therefore transfer Hearth and
Home to the new Publishers,
whose long experience and abun-
dant facilities will enable them not
only to maintain the past high
character of the paper, but to add
materially TO It's value, The new
Publishers also announce a reduc-
tion of the terms to So per year.
The change will not at air affect
the American Agriculturist, which
will continue on Independently as
heretofore. The illustrations and,
reading matter of the two journals
will be entirely different, Either
Of the journals will be furnished
from now to the end of 1871 Us
at the yearly subscrip-
ton rate, viz !: the Weekly Hearth
and Home, at So the Monthly
Agriculturist, Sl.5O;
Or the two tor 81.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

Men who are not Congressional
candidates in a western district are
distinguished by their wearing
badges. There are only six.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

Brigham Young has twenty-tOur
marrlagesble daughters who are
on the market.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

A project is on foot to establish
a fair ground for the celored peo-
pie at Nashville.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

NOTHING LIKE GRAMMAR. Bet
ter go without cow than go with
out that. There are numberless
professors" who go "tramp, tramp,
tramp, my boys" around the coun-
try, peddling a weak article, by
which in twenty days they guar
antee to set a man thoroughly up
in the English language. An in-
stance in point comes from Green
vile, Alabama, where a prOfesso-
had labored with the youth Of
that people and taught them to
dote on grammar according to
"Morris's" system. During one
of the lectures, the sentence
"Mary milks the cow, was given
out to be parsed. Each word was
parsed save one, which fell to Bob
L., d sixteen-year-old near the
foot OF the class, who commenced
thus: "Cow is a noun, feminine
singular number, third per-
son, and stands for Mary" Islands
for Mary" said the excited pro-
fessor "How do you make that
out ?" because" answered the
noble pupil, ''if the cow didn't
stand for Mary, how could Mary
milk her ?"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

The following dirge appeared
as an obituary in late number Of
the Boston Post, the gifted author
not favering the world with his
name: o1 e. siIv owT q.
Grim Death has taken darling little Jerry,
The son of Joseph and Syrena Howells,
Seven days he wrestled with the dysentery,
And then he lost all of his little bowels
.E.1c. .-aga ~ .al enLrttR
Il was the Saviour wanted little Jerry,
Which suffers little children to come to Him
It's probable now that he's practicing very
AssiduOus like his little angel hymn,
Most likely it was weaving injured little
Jerry;
His bottle seemed to damp his stomach's
tone, M
But with the angels he gets plump and mer-
For there's no nursing bottle where he's
gone.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

California has five peach tFeesto
every voter-about 500, 900 in all.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13

dH rI1 f1A ~ Eaa 5ai
- as sat aai 80 ssssz
isarl H e sIsig9q b
= -rtf
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-13
N. o. WALLACE, ]

), q md
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-10-27
Tight Lacing.

There would be no tight lacing if girls could
be made to understand this simple fact-that
men dread the thought of marrying woman
wlo is subject to fits of irritable temper, to bad
headaches, and other ailments we need not
mention, all of which, everybody knows are the
direct and inevitable product of the compress
sion of the waist. Men like to see small
waist certainly, but there is very great differ,
ence between the waist which is well formed
and in proportion to the rest of the figure, and
waist which is obviously and artifcially COM
pressed, to the destruction of that easy and
graceful carriage which is one of the chief
charms of woman's appearance. An unnatu-
rally compressed waist is far more certain ofde-
lection than q mass of false hair or faint dus-
ting of violet powder The rawest youth who
| enters ballroom can pick out the women who
have Strengthened themselves artihcially; and
there is no more ready handle for his harmless
jokes If the young lady who, to obtain the
appearance of a dragon, has been subjectlIng
herself to considerable physical pain, and who
has been LAYING up for herself pretty store of
ailments. which only want time to pronounce
themselves, could only see the stare of scarcely
disguised contempt, and understand the scorn-
full pity which greets the result Of her labor, we
should have change of the fashion. There is
nothing intrnsically beautiful in an unnatur-
ally small waist, and if it were the fashion to
go into the opposite extreme, women would see
beauty in padded waists. 1t is great misfor-
time that popular taste never alters in this as
it alters in other matters. Observers may no
tice with what regular ebb and flow wide
skirts and narrow skirts. alternate; how we have
the peg top garments of men followed by the
sailors wide ankled attire; how square-pointed
boots gave place to peak-toed boots, and how
the peak-toes 20 out again for the square points.
Thro' all changes women remain true to only
| one fashion.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-10-27
JOSH BILLINGS,
Allmanacter.

A GooD SELL.-During some of the late hot
days, as the noon train stopped at the Bricks
burg depot, jolly individual poked his head
out of the car window and shouted "Water F.!
Water! Fifty cents for a pitcher of water p
A good-natured but verdant man from Green
Vile, excited by the prospect of helping some
unfortunate out of a fainting fit and at the
same time of putting half dollar clear into
his trowsers pocket, ran like deer to the ho-
tel, snatched the water pitcher and tumbler off
the counter, and with astonishing expedition
passed both of them through the car window.
The gentleman with the glowing countenance,
who had his whiskey flash on his lap, illumin-
ated his face with gracious smile, took the
pitcher and tumbler, deliberately set them both
on the seat beside him then and found great diff
Guilty in looking up that delinquent fifty cents.
Just as he was successful to the extent of ten
cent stamp the cry of the conductor was heard,
"All aboard ?" The ten cents was thrust into
Mr. Verdants hand who stood aghast gazing
at the glowing countenance as it twhizzed away,
the owner of which, bowling his head, "Much
obliged and will pay the balance when bring
back the pitcher and tumbler; good bye p-
Amid the jeers of the crowd Verdant muttered,
"Well if that isn't flying brickp At this
moment he found himself taken by the arm by
the hotel man, who invited him to step over
and settle for that tumbler and pitcher which
he had taken without leave.-Monmowth Couaa-
ty Democrat.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-10-27
[oFEIcIAL BIzzNEss.l
Ofls's Ov sJosh Billings Farmers /
AllminaX for 1871" (

Ny Dear Editor: Sum men are born CRATE,
sum git CRATE after they are born, sum have
grateness hove upon them, and sum amt trou-
bled with neither.
But uni dear phello) the object in writing
this epistol is not this, but to inform you that
shall let loose about the middle of Oktober,
1870, GOSH BILLINGS FARMERS ALLMINAX
FOR 1871"
No family who keeps two hoss carriage,
should be without this Allminax.
Az anshunt Knower, phull oy phaith, let
slip the pure and innocent duy from his Ark,
so doth let slip this Allminax, and hope it
wont come back All good housewives will find
in this Allminax, how to train up their hus-
bands in the way they should 60, and they
wont depart from it, and also how tew make a
lively slap jax.
To the weary wanderer this Allminax will
be a glide board, showing the nearest cut to the
next town, and to the sorry, soda fountain OF
gimnastic delight.
This Allminax gives the biography, etimolo-
gy, sintax and prosidy of bugs, beasts and little
cod fishes, and tells us, with the fondness ov a
step parent, the right time to trade oph dog.
In konclushun, it'gives me CRATE plezzure to
remark,
That kussid are Holsters and milk for supper,
for they have no bowels ov mercy, nor mercy
for bowels.
With great flexibility of karacter, I am your
timber friend,
JOSH BILLINGS,
Allmanacter.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-10-27
MARK TwA1Ns DISTRESSING ACCIDENT"

MARK TWAIN's DISTRESSING ACCIDENT"
Last evening, about o'clock, as Mr.. William
Schuyler, an old and respectable citizen of South
Park, was leaving his residence go down town,
as has been his usual custom for many years,
with the exception only of a short interval in
the spring of 1850, during which he was con-
fined to his bed by injuries received in attempt
ing to stop runaway horse by thoughtlessly
placing himself directly in his wake and throw
ing up his hands and shouting which, if he had
done so even single moment sooner, must in
evitably have frightened the animal still more
instead of checking its speed, although disas-
trous enough to himself as it was, and rendered
more melancholy and distressing by reason of
the presence of mis- wife's mother, who was
there and saw the occurrence, Notwithstanding
it is at least likely, though not necessarily SO,
that she should be accommodating in another
direction when incidents occur, not being VI
vacious and on the lookout as general thing,
but even the reverse, as her own mother Is
stated, who is no more, but died in the full
hope of glorious resurrection, upwards OF
three years ago, aged eighty-six, being Chris
tian woman and without guile, as it were, or
property, in consequence of the fire of 1849,
which destroyed every solitary thing she had in
the world But such is life. Let us all take
warning by this solemn occurrence, and let us
endeayor so to conduct ourselves that when we
come to die we can do it. Let us place our
hands upon our hearts, and say with earnest
ness and sincerity that from this day forth we
will beware of the intoxicating bowl
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-10-27

THE WAY TO LOOK AT IT.-But few people
have taken the trouble to ascertain how much
and in what manner they are taxed. The
Philadelphia Age, in referring to this subject,
says: eff business men will sum up all the
taxes and deduct them from the profits of their
business for any given year, they will be able
to feel the weight of portion of the load they,
are carrying But only a portion-Radical
taxation operates in more than one way upon
the interests of all classes. In the first place
they pay direct tax upon capital, and vast
collection of articles of all descriptions. Then
comes the income tax. This is to many an
odious exaction, which the Radicals enforce
for the purpose of supporting a host of idle,
worthless men, who pocket seven dollars and
half out of every ten dollars collected. But
when these taxes are aggregated and deducted
from the labor of the country, the door is not
closed High taxes raise the price of all arti-
cles in the market. If man buys a hat, pair
of boots, coat, a pound of beet, bedstead, a
looking glass, or house, he feels the influence
of taxation. He pays so much for the article
obtained, and so much for Radical action in
keeping up the taxes to war standard in time
of peace When business men look at the
matter of taxation in this light, they will be
prepared to aid the Democratic party in their
efforts to reduce the burdens"