Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1870-08-30
Editorial Experience.
Howl Edited an Agricultural Paper once
BY MARK TWAIN.

| did not take the temporary ed
itorship of an agricultural paper with
out misgivings. Neither would
landsman take comrand Of a ship
without miSgivings. But ! was in
circumstances that made the salary
an object. The reguLr editor Of the
paper was going off 70 a holiday, and
| accepted the terms pc offered and
took his place.
The sensation of being at work
again was luxurious, aid | wrought
all the week with unfaging pleasure.
We went to press, and WAITED day
with some solicitude tosee whether
my effort was going to attract any
notice. As I lett the ofie, towards
sundown, a group of men ind boys at
the foot of the stairs dispersed with
one impulse and gave me passage way,
and | heard one or two of ITEM say
That's him." I was naturally pleased
with this incident. The nett morning
| found a similar group at he ioot of
the stairs, and scattering cNples and
individuals standing here md there
in the street, and over the way, watch
ing me with interest. TheToup sep
arated and fell back as [ approached,
and | heard a man say, "Lok at his
eye!" | pretended not to o'serve the
notice | was attracting, bu secretly
| was pleased with it, andwas pur-
posing to write an account # it to my
aunt. | went up the shoI fight Of
stairs, and heard CHEEKY voces and a
ringing laugh as | drew near the
door, which | opened, and caught
glimpse of two young, runl-looking
men, whose faces blancbed ad length
ened when they saw me, anGthen they
both plunged through tn window
with q great crash. l was8urprised.
In about half an hour an Id gentle
man, with a flowing beard md a fine
but rather austere face, enered and
sat down at my invitation. He seemed
to have something on his mind. He
took off his hat and set it o; the floor,
and got out of it a red six hand
kerchief and copy of our pper. He
put his paper on his lap, and while he
polished his spectacles withhis hand
kerchief, he said:
"Are you the new editor 7
| said | was.
"Have you ever edited al agricul-
tural paper before ?" .
NO" l said; this is m! first at
tempt"
very likely. Have you had any
experience in agriculture, Practical
ly?"
"No; l believe l have mott
"Somc instinct told me So said the
old gentleman, putting on lis spec
tacles and looking over then at me
with asperity, while he fohed his
paper into a convenient shape. "I
wish to read to you what must have
made me have that instinct. 1t was
this editorial. Listen, and see lit was
YOU that wrote it:
"'Turnips should never be pulled
it Injuries them. 1t is better. to send
a boy up and let him shake the tree. "
"Now, what do you think of that?-
for l really suppose you wrote it. F"
Think of it? Why, think it is
good. l think it is sense. | have no
doupt that, every year, millions and
millions of bushels of turnips are
spoiled, in this township alone, by be-
ing pulled in a half-ripe condition,
when, if they had sent boy up to
shake the tree
"Shake your grandmother! Tur.
nips do not grow on trees"
ooh, they don't, don't they Well
who said they did The language was
intended to be fgurative, wholly fig
urative. Anybody, that knows any.
thing, will know that l meant that the
boy should shake the vine"
Then this old person got up and
tore his paper into small shreds, and
stamped on them, and broke several
things with his cane, and said did
not know as much as a COW; and ther
went out, and banged the door after
him, and, in short, acted in such a way
that fancied he was displeased aboul
something. But, not knowing what
the trouble was, I could not be any
help to him.
Pretty soon after this long, ca
daverouS creature, with lanky lock;
hanging down to his shoulders, and {
weeks stubble bristling from the hill.
and valleys of his face, darted within
the door, and halted, motionless, will
finger on lip, and head and body ben
in listening attitude. No sound wa
heard. Still he listened. No sound
Then he turned the key in the door
and came elaborately tiptoeing toward
me, till be was within long reachin!
distance of me, when he stopped, anc
after scanning my face with intense
interest for a while, drew a folded cop,
of our paper from his bosom, ant
said:
"There-you wrote that. Read i
for me quick. Relieve mel suffer.
l read as follows; and as the sen
tenceS fell from my lips, could se
the relief come; l could see The draw
muscles relax, and the anxiety go ou
of his face, and rest and peace stea
over the features like the mercifu
moonlight over a desolate landscape
"'The guano is fne bird, bu
great care is necessary in rearing il
1t should not be imported earlier tina
June nor later than September. 1
the winter it should be kept in a war;
place. where it can hatch out it
young.
1T is evident that we are to hav
a backward season for grain. There
Ifore it will be well for the farmer t
begin setting out his cornstalks an
planting his buckwheat cakes in Jul
instead of August.
"'Concerning the pumpkin. Thi
berry is favorite with the natives {
the interior of New England, VIII
prefer it to the gooseberry. for th
making of fruit cake, and who like
wise give it the preference over th
raspberry for feeding cows, as bein
more filling and fully as satisfying
| Tho r,yp,piyfn i1 aconIoo@ i,