The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-12-15

like physlc,' to do good must be Glsagreeable.
Our devil was prevented from seeing his
sweetheart the other evening, bya pressing en-
gagement. ...,,...t -.
ga shoemaker" writes thatihe is not oily
willing to- give woman her rights, but her
= Anan in Ohio recently openeda clothing
clothing store belonged to another man. -.
-'1 am going to the post Office, Tom; shall
Inquire for your" "Well, yes, If you want
to; but don't think you'll find me there" q
Josh Billings says he has known q muls
to be good mule for six months so as to get q
chance to kick somebody. Ia . -. - NS'''i'
1t has become question as to Whether
phrenologist can tell what barrel contains by
examining its head. 80
= Ladies wear so much false hair with theft
own nowadays, that we are puzzled to tell
which from switch. -"
A line in one of Moore ssongsreads thus:
"Our couch shall be roses bespangedwith dew"
To which sensible girl replied i 'Twohld give
me the rhetmatiz, and so it would you"
Mr.. Henry Hostetter, of louisville, has
been sued for $4,000 for BREACH Of promise,
by young lady Of that city. This is evident.
ly some Of Hostetter's Bitters. -e,
"A contemporary thinks it must be hof.
rible ON the battlefield 'to hear the.stiaed
groans OF the dying and the shrieks Of thu
dead" 20 ,s a.. ~
"A wag, seeing door nearly off its hinges.
in which condition it had been some time, OBJ
sefved that When it had fallen and killed some
one it would probably be hung 1iai ee5aa.T =
= Those who admire the beauty which is 4
little more than skin deep. will learn with
pleasure that mine of bismrth has been found
in Archer County, Texas, CAPABLE of producing
several ht!ndred thousands tons OF lilly white.
"A Newark Inerchantgavea aEdeacon a lot
of fans on which business cards were printed.
to distribute at camp-meeting and the deacoli
set boys to- selling them at FIVE cents piece.
= The Marshall county (Iows) Times says
"Don't 60 back .on your newspaper. A SUBJ
scriber to the Times recently stopped his paper.
and the next week was Kicked by a horse SD
severely That his life is despaired off,
= Mrs. Partington has declared in favor OF
woman's rights, having been Convinced that
since the invention of the needle gun. there is
no reason why women shouldn't fight as we'll as
men.
No character can be slastingly injured by
a fearless discharge. of duty. Csl1mny ror
prejudice may obsthre it for a time, but in the.
end it will shine al the brighter for the clouds
which obscured it.! - .'l:'s 'sH 70, 9l21!
= If you are very precise man, and wish TO,
be certain of what you get, never marry girl,
named Ann, for we have the authority of Lind,
ley Murray and many others, for the assertion,
that "Ann is an indefinite article."a : 'tii -'-1
= A boy who heard the quotation, "a little
learning is dangerous thingJ" wished to stop
going, to school, because he was afraid he should
not live long enough to get past the dangerous
point. .-. - -. 6 ,.'@1''-f ~ .2-.a
' = Browning -"Well, have always made it,
rule to tell my wife everything that happens,
Smithkins-"Oh! my. dear fellow that is
nothing I tell my my wife lots Of things that nev'
er happens at all. '.@rf'''' D a
-.A,Vermont girl wants to knowif, the WOO
mans rights movement includes the right to do
the courtirg. If itdoes, she is in for it, as the
men in her vicinity are very bashful. There is
something practical in that: ' -: ]" a2;,i't
A Boston gentleman who could net waltz,
offered young lady one hundred dollars If she
would let him hug her as much as the man did
who had just waltzed with her. 1t was goot. :
offer and showed 5hat money wss mo- objecttu
him. -, ,aH .--.s.a', ,m1,o9, - = -;
I - 'It is pleasant thing to reject Upon.
says Dickens, "and furnishes complete an
swer to those who contend for the gradual de-.
generation of human species, that every bab.'
born into the world is : finer: ene5it than tles
last"
"A plain "chargeY by an oiitspoken judge:
Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the cou;;.=
sci ON both sides are unintelligible; the WI
nesses on both sides Incredible iand the plaiIIs
tiff and defendant are both such; bad charas ::
ters, that to me it is Indifferent which way yoA;
give your verdict. -.
- Just as traveller was writing his narns
on the reghter of a Leavefw0rth hotel, q bedE'
bug sailed out and took its way across the page.
The man paused and remarked: Tye been.
bled by St. Joe feas, bitten by Kansas city spi'
ders. and interviewed by Fort Scott gray backs,
but I'll be Id if was ever in place before
where the hedbugs looked over the hgtel regis
ter to find out where your room was r.
The late jeremiah Mason was once en-
gagged in famous trial, in which some good
Methodist brethren were concerned. One morn
ing, when court opened, an over-zealous friend
of his client came to him, and in solemn
whisper said "Mr. Mason had a. vision last
night. Gabriel appeared to me and told me
that brother A.. was innocent. No mistake
about it." every we'll" said the man of law,
not so much as lifting his head from over the
table on which he was writing every well, bet-
ter have him supenaed Immediately"
- Husbands ought to "keep out of the
kitchen" A husband who did not writes thus
of the consequences: 81 found fault some time
ago with Maria AIMS custard pie, ind tried to
to tell her how my mother made custard
pie. Maria made the pie after my receipt. 1t
lasted longer than any other pie we ever had.
Maria set it on the table every day for dinner,
and YOU see could not cat it because forgot
to tell her to put in any eggs OF shortening. 1t
was economical, but in fit of generosity stole
it from the pantry and gave it to poor little
was largely attended by bis former playmates,
l did not go myself" .r'J ..,7aa. ,1.ioa
A GERMAN SpY.-At Courcelles, a few days
since, the Gardes Mobiles discovered German
spy on the top OF very tall house. He was a
man in military uniform, holding blue flag in
one hand and a fed one in the other, and wear.
:..4z IL, fronr Of him a lnnn anrnn rainted dnll