The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-12-30
Family Government.
ny HENRY WARD BEEcHER.

Inc nrSt Cnllu OIL pbrentS VINO oIU ooth-
est and conscientious in their purpose Of
bringing him up right, Is apt 70 be excess
lively governed. The first child of easy
going, affectionate parents Is apt TO be ex-
cessively indulged. But rs the children
belong to different families, It Is hard to
make an average. Whichis nearer right?
Both! Neither Too much government and
too little government come TO about the
same thing. However, It Is q great mis-
take to suppose that the simple matter OF
government can be taken out OF tho whole
routine of family life, as II II were thing
by itself. Government Is but name for
the sum OF oil influences brought to bear
upon tho children. 1t Is not simply tho
repressive part. nor the punitive part, nor
the hortatory part, but of all these, togeth.
or with the permissions, the rewards, the
smiles, the genial influences, that consti-
tute government .,
The question of rigor. of severity, Of
physical chastisement, Is often treated
as II that peculiarly was government. 1t
Is the least part and the lowest form OF 1t.
Some say that physical punishment should
never be employed. All judicious persons
agree that 1t should be employed just rs
little rs possible; and that when employ
ed Mt all It should tend upward and not
downward-that Is. that the rod should
be so used u, to destroy the necessity for
using 1t again or often. The habitual and
frequent resort to physical pain In govern
ing children Is brutal and brutalizing. It
INJURIES both parent and child, teacher and
pupil. Without saying that there Is no
case in which tho rod should be resorted
TO, we believe that the old notion. that
every child should Mt ono time feel its
quickening influence, Is barbarous. ,.
There arc thousands of children that
never need il. In u wellregulated family,
with children of average moral excellence.
the rod ought to be unknown. Other
means of government may be found, re-
quiring perhaps more patience and In.
genuity on the part of the parent, but OF
vastly greater benefit to the child. Many
parents onco supposed that tho rod was
divine ordinance; that q debt was owed
to It by every Christian parent, which
must be settled on the child at ono time
or another. Solomon Is responsible for
whole tickets of switches ,roligiously oul-
tivated, cut and used. The most liberal
Interpretation was given to his rod. But
people more wisely interpret the rod to
mean simply government, whether with
or without physical ohastisement.
It Is quite easy. 20 discourse upon family
government, aud to cxhort and advise
parents touching tho bringing up Of their
children; but II Is quito another thing to
do 1t well yourself. ta.
No one can take an abstract rule or
scheme of family government and proceed
upon II without regard to the circum-
stances Of both sides, governors and gov
erned.
Very few stop to consider that the ca
pacity Of the parent to govern has very
much to do with the mode of government
to be adopted In any instance. II Is GER
t,,inly better 10 govern by bringing moral
influence to bear on the children. But
what IL that is tho very thing the parent
does not know how TO dop The gifts Of
are not alike In all. So It comes
to pass that many parents arc obliged to
employ the second or third best, simply
because they do not know how TO do bet
ter. -Abstrnctly they may be wrong; but
relatively to their own gifts. they may be
right.
1t Is precisely at this point that much Of
the modern writing on tho subject of gov
ernment fails. Everybody considers he
right and welfare Of the children. Few /
pause to consider that parents need pity
and sympathy. They must work accord
ing to their gifs. a feeble woman, rem
dcred excessively sensitive by sickness
sometimes reduced by the very birth of
her children to u tangle of nerves-Over.
with cares an,l bodily toll, finds
herself surrounded with crowd OF ncr-
vously organized children, quick, com.
bative, sensitive. restless. What can the
mother dop It Is not IN answer TO say.
that these supcr-oxcitable children need
calm and even treatment; that they need
liberty and room to work of their super
flOus exciiability. That Is very true. But
that Is not the question. What shall this
mother, In straitened home, with shat
tered health. do for her childrenp Her Ca
pacity Is ns much to be considered rs tho
children's necessity.
The same question arises In schools.
That which Is best for scholars cannot nj.
ways be had. Schools must be managed
to the capacity of the managers,
rs well rs the needs Of the scholars.
There Is case In medical practice. |
What would bc hest for n patient Is often
out of the reach of his friends. What, Of
those .hings within reach, Is best, Is tho
question which every physician asks HIM |
sele every day. Schools and families have
analogous necessities and limitations. But
This does not justify amy and ercry method.
There arc some PRACTICES now quite CON-
mon that should never lc allowed. Al
another time we will, perhaps, suggest
Y. Ledger. ,s,fl u'afi