Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-06-11

line tor each subsequent insertion .:-E. s.g'-
A QUESTION ANSWERED. Can any reader
tell why. when Eve was manufactured from one
OF Adams ribs, hired girl wasn't made at
the same time to wait on herr"
We can, easily. Because Adam never
came whining to Eve with ragged stocking
to be darned, collar string to be sewed on, or
glove 10 be mended right away, quick now !"
Because be never read tie newspaper until the
sun got down behind the palm trees and then
stretched himself, yawing out. "Ain't supper
most ready; my dear?' Not he. He made
the fire and hung over the tea-kettle. himself,
we'll venture, and pulled the -radishes, and
peeled the bananas, and did everything else
that he ought. He MIXED the COWS and fed
the chickens, and looked after the pigs hi1a-
self lie never brought home half o dozen
friends to dinner, when Eve Hadn't any fresh
pOmegranates, and the mango season was over.
he never stayed out until eleven clock to
ward meeting" hurrahing for the out and
out candidate, and then soolded because poor
dear Eve was sitting up and crying inside the
gates. To be sure. he acted rather coWardy
ABOUT apps gather us time, but then that don't
depreciate his general helpfulness about the
garden. lie never played billiards. nor drove
last horses, nor choked Eve with cigar smoke.
lie never loafed around corner groceries while
solitary Eve was rocking little Cain 5 cradle at
home. In short. be didn't think sha was spe
clally created for the purpose of waiting on
him, and wasn't under the impression that it
dlsgraced man TO tighten his wife S care lit:
tie. .'&1.f -.' az,'' .-..-i 80 H.'.' e.
That's the reason that Eve did not need a
plred girl, and We wish it was the reason that
pone OF her fair descendants did. . -s
WONDERFUL BIRDs.-Two new bind, have
arrived at the Geological Gardens, London
the alleged habits of which tsays the Pail Mall
a1ayettel afford curious theme for speculation, |
end serve to supply en- Illustration TO poets |
aud philosophers. The male has a strong, |
short, curved beak the female much longer
BILL The naturaists tell us that the male
lies hid the grub on which they feed and the
female pulls out the worm and presents her !
mate with half the meal. Here. Is ardelght-
full instance of the essential incomplete
nesa aud mutual helpfulness OF the sexes,
The two forming one, ss we are eolu
they should, in perfect conlugal union:
We hope that observation may confirm the
tale, but animals at the Hooloeloal dardene are
painfully apt to disappoint the expectations
which we have been led to form OF them. lhcrc
is the ayea aye, for instance. Every one mas
heard OF lCS IUurVSNOuoiJ iouS h1''t 49, 49, -
ailar adaptation to the necessities or the crea,
Iure,s existence. Professor Gwen has founded
an exquisite argument on the use OF the long
nail in extracting the creatures food IRON the
deem creyices in which it is supposed to had IT.
It is an admirable instance OF design. But
though all sorts of Ingenious devices nave oecn
aaop1ed to induce the aye aye to use its nall Tor
these purposes, it seems to have rooted OBJ
lection to do 20, and has never been known to
do anything else than scratch Its nose with IL,
which no one can suppose to De nnal cause.
RED MEN.-A iirriena o. ours, says 40 ex.
change, who took trip to California. said that
he was not afraid of the Indians, because ne
belongclldotb Benevolent Order OF the Hed
Men, a1 Knew all the passwords and wlnks,
and the fgGrative language and things, ana ne
savage was going to touch him, Initiated and
fixed up in regalia rs he was. He hadn't gone
more than hundred miles from Omaha before
band of Indians came at him and scooped
him up He took the chief aside and whispered
the password in his ear and gave him the grip
tyenty-six times on both hands, and made
some observations about fifth moons and
Happy hunting grounds. The chlet replied
in fraternsl manner by tomahaYking him and
;abbine his butcher knife into his vitals. Oul
friend remarked that these ceremonies were
not observed in his lodge; but the chiei
wanted TO show him all the pecullartles OF thf
Western system, so he scalped him and chopped
off his nose, and vas about 10 build bonfire
on his stomach, when some soldiers arrlVet
and rescued him. lie is now the bald-headed
est Red Man this side of the Pacific Ocean,
and YOU never saw person so disguised Witt
secret societies and Indian poetry. de Is golnl
to sue his lodge for passing counterfeit gfli
on him. and for damages done by loss OF M
-Erchange. .,.-.---. .-L-.--'>-
LATE HouRs.-R Rev. Henry Ward Beeche
,r;o.bed Anril "A on "Late llouls and th
..TJnfru;ttul Works of Darkness" and IN tn
course of his sermon said :-"1f you want I
make the ruin Of q child sure give. hin hoer.
aiterdark. You cannot do anything nearer t
insure damnation than to leave him at h9ett per
TO 20 where he will without restraint. Atee
dark he will be sure to get into communicate
with people that will undermine all MS goo goy
qualities. do not ike to speak to paren'
about their children, but there are Thousand
1obo think their Child cannot do wrong The
cb;ld will not lie, when his tongue ishke
Ssn5ed how; he will not drink, when there Is nt
- oSoIoonwithin mile OF his fathers housewhel
he il not as we'll known as one OF its own d
oanters he never does ubiquitous things. Whe
Ia 10 r,eking in filth. Nineteen out OF; eycl
,Uentv allowed perfect freedom at night "
he FOUNDED by it. There is nothing more u I
portant than for child to be at home at n'gn
or il be is abroad you should be wiin ,,1aa hi :u,
he is to see any sights or take any p.tu pha. =,
there is nothing that he should sec 'hny =" y
should not see with him. ...a---
TAYING BEEN APPOINTED AGENT GENT
II we .rs nrensred to furnishthe celebrsi
IaJ6D DSON GoYERNoRt,,I -, ..;t 10 .,
at factory prices No engine SAonsa 90 iDs'U i,' :"
xLo.r fanf