Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-05-18

good time all day, and then reached home
alive and wei, IN the most surprising man.
ner. Jacob Blivens said there was nothing
like these things in the books. He was
perfectly dumbfounded.
When he got well he was a little dis
couraged, but he resolved to keep on try
ing, anyhow. He knew that SO far his ex.
perience wouldn't do to go in book, but
he hadn't yet reached the allotted term OF
life for good little boys, and he hoped to be
able to make a record yet, if he could hold
on till his time was fully up. If every.
thing else failed, he had his dying speech
to fall on.
He examined his authorities, and found
that it was now time for him to go to sea as
a cabin boy. He called on ship captain
and made his application, and when the
captain asked for his recommendations he
proudly drew out tract and pointed to the
words: ITO Jacob Blivens, from his affec-
tionate teacher" But the captain was
coarse, vulgar man, and he said, ''Oh, that
be blowed that wasn't any proof that he
knew how n -
bucket, and he gI.ossOa-zu - want
him. This was altogether the most ex.
traordinary thing that ever had happened
to Jacob in all his life A compliment
from teacher, on tfact, had never failed
to move the tenderest emotions of ship
captains and open the way to all offices OF
honor and profit in their gift-it never had
in any book that ever he had read. He
could hardly believe his senses.
This boy always had hard time of it.
Nothing ever came out according to the au.
thorities with him. At least, one day
when he was around hunting up bad little
Il 60 H. ,soI1 L
In the old iron foundry, fixing up little
joke on fourteen or fifteen dogs, which
they had tied together in long procession
and were going to ornament with empty
nltro-g -glycerine cans made fast to then
tails. Jacobs heart was touched. He sal
down on. one of those eans-for he never
minded grease when duty was before him
and he took hold of the foremost dog by
the collar, and turned his reproving eye
upon wicked Sam Jones. But just at that
wrath, stepped in. All the bad BOYS
ran away; but Jacob Blivens rose in
conscious innocence and began one of those
stately little Sunday school book speeches
which always commence with "Ch, Sir i' in
dead opposition to the fact that no boy,
good Or bad, ever starts a remark with 'sOh,
Sir p But the Alderman never waited to
hear the rest. He took Jacob Blivers by
the ear and tut led him around, and hit
him a whack in the rear with the fiat of his
hand; and in an instant that good little
boy shot out through the roof and scared
away toward the sun with che fragments
of those fifteen dogs st1inging after him
like ne tail of kite. And there wasn't a
sign of that Alderman or that old iron
foundry left on the face of the earth; and
as for young Jacob Blivens, he never got
a chance to make his last dying speech
after all his trouble fixing it up,
unless he made it to the birds; because,
although the bulk of him came down all
right in tree-top in an adjoining county,
the rest of him was apportioned around
among four townships, and so they had to
held five inquests on him, to find out
whether he was dead or not, and how it
occurred. You never saw boy scatter
ed sos -- --
Thus perished the good little boy who
did the best he could, but didn't come out
according to the books. Every boy who
ever did as he did prospered except him.
His case is trUl ly remarkable. 1t will pro-
badly never be accounted for.
*Thls catastrophe is borrowed without the un-
known but most ingenious authors permission)
from stray newspaper item and trimmed up and
altered to fit Jacob Bivers, who stood sadly in
need OF doom that would send him out of the
world with ecJGt.-ED MEMORANDA.