Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1870-04-21
Our New Number.

| -
Our New Number.
The attached MS. came into my hands
through a member of the family which
moved into No. s. or 13- c. square
after the removal of Mr.. Phineas Green
It is a proof of the relentless nature OF
Mr.. Green's fate that change pursues him
still.
Probably the uncertain location OF his
secretary was the occasion of his dropping
this record of his trials; for, though
aggravated and acidulated by his dis
cipline of pain, have never had any
reason to think he meant to do what the
finder insists upon my doing, viz pub.
lish it for a warning to tickle woman
kind. MAY HAWK.
| said to Minerva one night three weeks
ago. Minerva, by the way is not the
Goddess of Wisdom, but my wife,
Minerva" said !, "tbe residents on the
street have been ordered to change the
numbers of their houses. The order was
| issued q week ago. No one, however, as
far as can make out has taken any notice
of it, and I'm not going to. It's of no use
for one to change alone it will make con-
fusion. Besides, the authorities may per.
haps let the matter drop. 1 hope so. One
gets attached to their number"
Instead of coinciding with my opinions,
as, before / was married, | suppose wives
always did, Minerva frequently set up
entirely different and opposite ones, and
often too, upon what seems to me very
trifing occasions. And so now she re-
sponded; "Well, 1 am glad that our
number is going to be changed. 1t is the
next best thing to moving. And you
might as well put the number on first as
last-why not? OF course the matter
will not drop; but the order will be re-
peated and enforced. It is no matter il
the others haven't changed theirs. /, foI
one, never care what other people do. ooh
Minerva y I'll risk all the confusion that
will come of it, and am thankful that we
. can have the privilege Of changing. Gel
attached to number I'm sick and tired
to death of ours. Number Three / al
ways hated it,"
Like Hamlet, "knew my course" now
Minerva wanted the new number and
if wanted peace, the sooner the former
was put on the door the better. | was a
fool to have spoken of it at all. The next
day, before noon, tho old number was
ruthlessly torn off and the new one put in
its place: and before night my wife went
"down town" shopping, solely | knew,
for the sake of ordering some bundles
sent to our new residence. sometimes
think (of course am not so reckless OF
life as to speak of it, that had been aware
of one of the elements of Minerva's char.
acter, or rather of the extent to which
she was disposed to exercise this one ele-
ment, should have hesitated about bind
| ing myself SO closely to her. The highest
and ehiefest delight of her existence con-
sists in the change that she is able to
achieve. She rides this hobby-horse
without ever firing, and keeps me in a
perpetual state of bewilderment concern
ing the rooms and appointment of our
house and the articles therein. The house
itself is the same that we first "set up"
| housekeeping in seven years ago, for the
reason that l have absolutely and firmly
refused to racye out of it. The room that
we then selected for our lodging-room
was manifestly the most convenient and
desirable one for US. Nevertheless,
have slept in every room in the house,
| except the 4cold closet" believe, going
back every now and then for short time
to our first choice. | have also slept on
every side of these several apartments
heading sometimes north, then sonth, and
so on and have finally been brought to
a chronic state Of feeling, when | retire
at night, that it is uncertain In what room
or what part Of the room | may get up IN
the morning. The two children, with
their trundle-bed, always revolve around
us, and when we move, they move like
wise; consequently never know where
they are, and can boast of tumbfing out
of their bed more times than any other
children, and of having had more fractures
of their collar-bones.
| The above is only one of the ways IA
which my wife's desire for variety shows
itself; but everything else follows in the
same pleasing style, and it was because OF
| this spirit that cur nrmher was changed.
| should have mentioned before that the
new number corresponded to that CT a
boarding house near the foot OF the street.
| Two weeks passed by, and my wife un-
doubtedly experienced much inward pleas
ure on account of the new aspect of the
front door, That the rose had its thorns
I did not suspect. / am heartiaaa enough
to confess that l should have been glad if
| / had. But the matter was go extremely
.rifing that never gave it thought al
all, until one morning when L had over
slept somewhat, and vas just about tc
dive out of bed as my Oldest child, who
had been up for some time, ran into the
room, leaving the door wide open behind
her. The door opened directly into the
} sitting-room, and our bed was placed ex-
actly before it-a location that he'd
charmed Minerva the previous day.
happened, before making leap, tie cast
my eyes into the sitting-room, and there
beheld strange woman, who, Invested Of
bonnet and cloak, appeared to have taken
possession of the room, and was also hav
ing the advantage of full view of me
I Immediately sent the child back to shut
the door, and then explained the situation
to Minerva, concluding with the question,
"Who in thunder is she ?" I'm sure I
don't know" my wife answered, more
mildly than she was in the habit of doing
whenever l spoke with emphasis, and be-
gan to dress herself instantly, and sent
one of the children to call Bridget, that
she might make inquiry OF her. "It's a
dressmaker, ma'am," answered Bridget
'Why; l haven't engaged any such per-
son. said my wife. "However, I'll 90
and speak to her myself in a moment
which she did, and the result was that
the woman coon started off for the board
ing house at the foot Of tbs street. Mi
nerva made no comment on the mistabe,
and we went down TO breakfast / had
the night before ordered beefsteak to
be sent in for this meal My wife is ex-
ceedingly fond of steak, and is not fond
of tripe doesn't allow it to be brought
into the house. Nevertheless, to our mu-
tual surprise, goodly quantity of this
Objectionable article formed The chief dish
for breakfast. Minerva wanted to aboil
over,' knew, but controlled herself, and
quite calmly asked Biddy how the tripe
happened to be there.
| ga boy brought it here-brought as