The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-02-10
LAUGHERANEOUS.
Pride goeth before fall. 1t also
goeth before waterfall.

goeth before waterfall.
An infantry officer mentions twins
as pair o pets attached to the breast
works.
A Cincinnati lady sues a miliner for
breach Of promise. She failed to finish
her bonnet whiting ten days.
No cards, no cake, no company, no
body's business, was recently appended
to the marriage notice of young cynlo.
Thin Man Boy, what that hun
CRY looking dog following me for? 2"
-Boy-''He thinks you are bone,
reckon ~
1t is said thatthe Editor Drawer"
in Harper S Magazine, is made up BY a
woman. So are great many editor
drawers.
The authorities of Waldeck, German
town, have given notice that no license
to marry will hereafter be granted to any
habitual drunkard.
Pittsburgh enjoyed bran new SEN
sation, last week, caused by young lady
leaving line Of bran along the sidewalks
as she was enjoying her afternoon pro-
mcnade.
A Dutchman Says Of the New York
ers, ''Dey go about der city scheating
each odder, and dey calls dat business
A lecturer at Patterson, n j., asked
his audience, in stentorian tones, ''What
did Moses say?" 'Shoo fy!' was the
answer from dozen boys in the gallery.
The Red Stockings gave Omaha the
credit Of having the worst base ball club
in the United States. 1t takes three Of
them to pick up ball, and then they
quarrel seventeen minutes to see who
shall throw it to the pitcher, when the
pitcher finally goes after it himself, and
gets his nose punched.
D., taking the portrait
of a young lady, perceived that when he
was working at her mouth she was try
ing to render 1t smaller by contracting her
lips. do not trouble yourself so much,
madam" exclaimed the painter If
you please, [ will draw your face without
any mouth at all.
A countryman having purchased a
gallon Of genuine mountain dew, for want
of more business ike label, wrote his
name upon a common playing card, which
happened to be the seven Of clubs, and
tied it to the handle of the bottle. A
wag coming along and observing the
vancouver, remarked: That an awful
careless way to leave that liquor. .
why SOP said Tom. 'Why somebody
might come along with the eight of clubs
and take it, Tom seized the bottle and
bolted.
Il live by the PEN said an editor,
wishing to impress young lady. You
look as if you lived in one," was her
reply.
-"My friend, have you sufficient con-
fidence in me to lend me dollar ?" ''Oh,
yes! confidence enough, but no dollar p"
Come, darling, it is bed time All
| the chickens have gone to bed. Y es,
mamma, so has the ole hen.
"A Western editor, speaking of a
rogue who lives in his vicinity, says =
THE rascal has broken every bank and
jail and Sabbath we have had in this
country for the last five years.
-''Professor, said student in pur-
suit Of knowledge concerning the habits
Of animals, why does cat, while eating,
turn her head first one way and then the
| other? For the reason" replied the
professor, THAT she cannot turn it both
ways at once.
DO you say your prayers regularly
every night and morning p asked sym
pathetic lady of little boot black, to
whom she had just given trife. L al
| luz seq UNI at night, mum, but any smart
boy can take care OF hisself in the day
time, was The little rogue's reply.
What is the difference between an
oyster and chicken? One is best just
from the shell-the other isn't.
Did you ever shave before ?" said
a gentleman to rough barber. ooh,
yes, sab - Did the man live ?''
MY DEAR" said wife to her hus-
band, "have you seen our new furniture?
It's splendid p No." said he but
| have seen the bill. -
| Brigham Young has another baby
He's funny mantle older he grows
the more young he gets.
Hurry, mamma" said the little in
nocent with his cut finger; hurry, its
| leaking"
An opened letter at the dead letter
| Office read as follows: "Seyen years is
rather long to kort gal but lie hav you
VT Kate
''Sambo, did you ever see the Cats
kill Mountains?'' mo, sab; but L Sc
seen um kill mice"
Why can't the cook eat her apron :?
Because it goes against her stomach
Tho bill of fare at hotel being
handed to country chap, he said he did
not care about reading now-wouid wait
| till after dinner.
A bore man who keeps talking to
you of himself when you are extremely
anxious to talk to him of yourself.
A colored couple visiting State
House were absorbed in admiration OF
the pictures, velvet cushions, polished
desks, etc. As they were leaving, Julius
fingered, rolled his eyes up to tie ceiling
and said Il clar to goodness, Silly,
dat's de best washing [ eber saw. -
DO not take that egg, the hen will
not lay without you leave one egg in the
nest, said a mother to a child five years
old.-Do they keep the egg for "a pattern,
mother?' asked the child.