Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-09-15
Jenkins. Goes to a Pic Mic
What Happened, and
What he Thinks About

I
to go to pie ME.
Maria Ann is NY wife-unior-
tunately. She had plauned to 90
to it alone, so far as / was COM
cerned, on that picnic excursion /:
but when | heard about It ] de-
termined to assist. She pretended
she was very glad bat / don't
believe she was. 1T will do you
good to get away from your work
a day, poor fellow" she said (; "and'
we shall so much enjoy a cool
morning ride on the cars, and din,
ner in the woods"
On the morning of that memo
rabIe day Maria Ann got up at
6ye o'clock. About three min
utes later she disturbed my slum-
bers, and told me to come out to.
breakfast. I told her / wasn't
hungry, but it didn't make a bit of
difference, / had to get up. The
sun was up; / had no idea the;
sun began business so early in the
morning, but there be was.
"Now," said Maria Ann, eve
must fly around, for the cars start
at half past six. Eat all the
breakfast you can, for we won't
get anything before noon"
/ couldn't eat anything at that
time in the morning, and it was
we'll I couldn't, for / had all !
could do. There was Ice 10 be
pounded to go around the pail of
ice cream, and the sandwiches to
be cut, and / thought | never
should get the legs of the chicken
fixed so that | could put the cover
on the big basket. Maria Ann
flew around and piled up groceries
for me to pack, and gave direc-
tions to the girl about taking care
of the house, and was putting on
her new dress all at the same time.
There is a great deal of energy in
that woman-perhaps trile too
much.
At just twenty minutes past
six | stood on the front steps with
a basket on one arm and Maria
AIMS waterproof on the other.
and a pail in each hand, and a.
bottle of vinegar in my coat skirt.
pocket. There was a camp chair
hung on me somewhere, too, but l
forget how Just now.
"Now," said Marie Ann, "we,
must run or we shall not be I'M
time for the cars"
"Maria," said 1, "that is a rea-
sonable idea. How do you sup
pose l could run with all this.
freight?"
"You must, you brute. You
always try to tease me. If you
don't want a scene on the streets
you will start too"
So | ran.
/ had one comfort at least
Maria Ann fell down and broke
her parasol. She called me q
brute because / laughed. Maria
drove me all the way to the depot
On a brisk trot, and we got on the
cars; but neither Of us could get a
seat, and I could not find any
place where l could set the things
down, so l stood up and held
them.
"Maria," l said in most win
ming accents, show is this for a
cool ride in the morning?"
Said she, "You are a brute,
jenkins"
"My love, you have made that
remark before"
/ kept my courage up, yet L
knew there would be an hour of
wrath when we got home. While
we were getting out Of the cars
the bottle in my pocket got broke,
and consequently / had one boot
half full of vinegar all day. That
kept me pretty quiet, and Maria
Ann ran off with a big whiskered
music teacher, and lost her fan,
and got her ieet wet, and tore her
dress, and enjoyed herself much
after the fashion Of picnie-goers.
thought it never would come
dinner time, and Maria called me
3 pig because / wanted to open
our basket before the rest of the
baskets were open.
At last dinner time came-the
''nice dinner in the woods" you
know. Over three thousand lit
lie red ants had got into our din
ler, and they were worse to pick
put than fish bones. The ice
,ream had melted and there was
no vinegar for the cold meat, ex-
,ept what was in my boot, and of
course that was of no immediate
use. The music teacher spilled a
,up Of bot coffee on Maria's head,
and pulled all the frizzles out try
ing to wipe off the coffee with
his handkerchief. Then / sat on
piece OF raspberry pie, and spoiled
my white pants, and concluded I