Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1870-07-27
NONSENSE.


Plain people-the Indians.
A thrilling tale-the rattIesnake's.
| Unredeemable bOnds-Vagabonds.
Amantle shelf-a lady's shoulders.
Baek-gammon-The Grecian Bend.
A scapegrace-A man late at dinner.
The slave of a ring-a new-made wife.
Can a baby be called a screaming farce?
Garden bugs and humbugs are thriv-
ing.
HOusemaid's Horticulture-Making
beds.
breath.
The oldest lunatic on recOrd-Time
out of mind.
July rOses-al the blooming girls
about town.
A good guess at a tailor's name-Mr,
lSO-and-SO.
Burglars Advertisement. Goodscar
fully removed.
What's in an aim, if you can't hit the
OulIS eye.-JUdy.
Melancholy trees-The aceeDiyag willow
and the pineapple
Who lives in any other way than from
hand to mouth?
The leading pillars Of the community
just now are the catterpillars.
What an asthmatie artist cannot draw
"a long breath.-PtmchiRelIO.
May a judge who retires from the
bench be said to lay down the law.
Why is an infant like a diamond
Because it is a "dear little thing"
Train tells the Fenians that uDefgat
is Victory" Inspiring thought!
He that pursues two hares at once.
don't catch one, and lets t'other go.
What kind of legs does a factory mule
go upon? Spindle-shank, Of course.
Why Is an account book like a stat
uary's shop? Because it is full of fig
ures.
Some of the Mississippi bOatman may
be sharp, but their boats are most fat.
Why not send Yates as Consul of
Rome He is the nOblest Rum'un of
them all.
The new thTee-eent postage stamps
had ought to hold out WeIl-they are
long enough.
Extraordinary feat of nature-Jump-
ing from winter to SIMMER without a
spring.
Wanted to know-When an officer
kisses his wife, does he give her a mill
tary salute
The most popular edition of The Young
Woman's Guide-yOung men from II to
The young lady who is unable to sport
a riding habit, should get into a walk
ing haEit.
A paper asks why it is that butchers
meat has not fallen? Does it not 20
down every day?
Why are a pin and a pokerlikea a blind
man? Because they have a head and
no eyes
What kind Of essence does a young
man like when he pops the question?
Acquiescence.
When a large widow weds a little
man, should he be called the widows
mite? He might.
Something to weep Over-A bushel of
onions.
How to make tall man shOrt-ask
him for a loan.
What is the least popular kind ofcuff?
The handouff.
Played Out-base bal; because it is
not played indoors.
When are thieves like IeOpaFds p
When they are spotted"
Some of the strOng-minded women
denOunce matTimOny, because, they saw
there is something childish in it.
money is very tight" said a thief
while trying to break open bank vault
Which is the most deeeitfuI part ofa
lady's costume? The false-hoOd on her
cloak.
Boise City, Idaho, has only one mn
married woman. This lack Of girls Is
bad for Boise.
Why would Sampson have made a
good opera singer? Because he cOuId
50 easily have brought down the house
'NLy dear,'' said the sentimental NTrs.
Waddles, 'hOme you know, is always
the dearest spot on earth.U We'll. yes.y
said the practical Mr.. Waddles, at does
cost me about twice as much as any
1ther spot"
n 4duy whose l0sDands an officer in
,he army, was ordered to Fort Larned
since the indian troubles, refused to ac-
company him, as "she had but very lit
lie hair on her head, but what she had
The preferred to keep
What a contrast there sometimes is
between an adjective and an adverb!
Reflect, for example, on the wide differ
snce shat exists between the man who
S constant in love and fha man who I,
constantly in love!