The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-09-23
Punchinello at the White Sulphur
Springs.


Punchinello at the White Sulphur
Springs.
From experience in the matter
Mr., P. is prepared to say, that not
only as an exponent of the beauties
of nature, but drink, mint-iulip is
far superior to the water which gives
this resort its celebrity. Why pso-
pie persist in drinking that vilest Of
all water which is found at the fash
ionable springs, Mr.. P. cannot di-
vine. Ifit is medicine you want,
you can get your drugs at any
apothecary's, and he will mix them
in water for you for a very small
sum extra. And the saving in ex-
pense of travel, board and extras,
will be enormous.
That evening at supper Mr.. P. re-
marked that this biscuits were ra-
ther hard, and he bIandly requested
waiter to take one Of them outside
and crack it. The elder Peyton,
who runs the hotel, overheard Mr..
P.'s remark, and stepping up to him,
said:
"Sir, you should not be so partic-
ular about your food. What you
pay me, while you stay at my place,
is my charge for the water you
drink. The food and lodging I
throw in, gratis"
Mr.. P. arose.
"Mr. Peyton," said he, ''when l
was quite a little boy, my father,
making the tour Of America, brought
me here, and l distinctly remember
you making that remark to him.
Since then many of my friends have
visited the White Sulphur, and you
invariably made the same remark to
them. Is there no way to escape the
venerable joker"
The gentle Peyton made no an
swer, but walked away, and after
supper, one Of the boarders took
Mr., P. aside and urged him to ex-
cuse their host, as he was obliged
to make the joke in question to ev-
cry guest. The obligation was in
his lease.
So the matter blew over.
Rejecting, however, that if he had
to pay sc much for the water, that
he had better drink little, Mr.. P.
went down to the spring to see what
could be done. On the way, he met
Uncle Aaron, formerly one ofWash-
ington's body-servants. The vener-
able patriarch touched his hat, and
Mr.. P, hoping from such great age
to gain little wisdom, propounded
the following questions:
"Uncle, is this water good for the !
Dile?"
"Oh, lor! no, mah'sr! Dat dar
Tater'nd jis spile anything you billed |
IN it. Make it tase of rotten eggs,
for all the world, sir! Deed it would
But what l want to know" said
Mr.. p, ''is why the people drink it."
"Lor bless you, mah'sr! Dis here
chile kin tell you dat. You see de
gem'men from de Norf dey drinks it
bekase they eat so much cold wheat
bread. Alters makes 'em sick. sir"
"And why do the Southerners
1rink itg''
oval, mah'sr, you see dey eats SO
much hot wheat bread, and it don't
lgree wild d'em, no how"
"But how about the colored peo-
lie? 1 have seen them drinking it,
frequently" said Mr.. P.
"Oh lor, mah'sr, how you is a ask
n questions! Don't you know dat
lie colored folks who hab to drink it
'ekase dey don't get no wheat bread
It alp,
Mr.. ?. heard no better philosophy
nan this on the suject while he re-
named at the White Sulpher. When
le left ne brought couple Of gal
ohs OF the water with him, and in
ends keeping it in the water-cooler ]
n his Office, for loungers.-Punc6-
.neUo. /
The right side of a drinking 90