davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A few days ago very starchly dress
ed individual called at an out-of-the-
way shop on Howard street, New Or
leans, over which swung the sign OF
DIR. Jeffries. rs the Doctor in?'' he
inquired of q dilapidated old buck
darkey who answered his summons
"He am dat, sab p was the smiling re-
joinder. "Tell him I have symptoms
of smallpox, and wish to consult him. .
The whites of = > nigger's eyes grew
intense, and his dusky complexion as
sumed rapidly creamy hue, tsGol-
ly, boss, what you sayy' "Tcll the
doctor I'm sick with the smallpox, and
wish to see him." The astonished At
rican gave wild leap, and darting
Through an inner door, slamming it in
the visitors face, cried out: "Lebe
dis yer house don't want no small
pox r "But-the doctorY "Golly,
boss, Use de doctor, but I amt good
at smallpox. IN. O. Picayupe,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
THE QUAKER AND THE IRISH.
MAN.

The Jersey City Times tells this sto.
ry Of Philadelphia
Among the people who attended the
Philadelphia market the other after.
noon was citizen Of West Jersey
He brought stock of eggs and but
ter. In a big coop in tho remotest
part OF the wagon he had splendid
peacock, whose tail spread out beauti.
full, even to gorgeousness, like the
trail Of u lady's dress. An Irishman
passing observed the splendid plu.
mage of the bird and asked its price
"rhee can have it for fifteen dollars, >
was the reply OF the owner, whose
garb indicated him as q member Of the
Society Of Friends.
That's n good price," was the in.
terrogative remark Of the Celt, as be
smoothed the ample tail of the feath.
cred biped.
"There are plenty of people who
will give that for him, was the placid
and very true rejoinder.
The Celt surveyed the bird, admired
his proportions, but still endeavoreG
to cheaper him.
Mister" said he at last to the grav.
gentleman who had the bird for sale
"people say that these birds have 4
very bad voice"
II have nothing TO say about theil
voices" was the quiet reply. "If thee
wants the fowl thee can take it if the,
does not, its voice does not make an,
matter to thee"
But" says the Celt, don't then
birds holler like the devil?"
Friend" was the sweet reply
thee probably in that respect has NJ
advantage over me. Thee evidenti,
has acquaintances which I have Eot.-
If thee thinks that the scream of thi
bird is like to that Of my friend, whom
thee has ramed i, in my ignorance
VIII not Presume to contradict thee,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
A new township had been organic

A new township had been organized
out of an old one, and "ald W
an honest farmer, was elected Justice
of the Peace. He was new to the bus
mess, and the boys longed for q trial
to see how he would make it go. After
long time and nothing in the legal
line turning up, some of them had a
sham fight. and one party caused the
arrest Of the other. Several witnesses
were examined, and the boys had q
good time generally. At the close OF
the trial, the justice 6ned them all ten
dollars each. Then the boys laughed
and told him the joke had gone fai
enough-they We're in fun oil the time
"You was in fun, was your" said
the old man. striking his hard fist sav.
agely on the table. "You was in fun
was you? Well, I'll be id if I am
you'll pay that fine, every dog Of you
or go to Jail"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

MARK TwAIN's lIoTgL.-tlayin,
lately orcned u l,ashery, send you these
my rules and regulations:
intempcraie.
None but the brave deserve the fare
Persons owing bills for boasd will b,
bored for hills.
Boarders who DO not wish 20 pay il
advance are requested to advance ane
pay.
Ralrdcrs arc cxpee:cdto wal, on the col
orci eook-for meals.
Sheets will be rigidly changed once il
six mouths. or more il necessary.
Double boarders eau have two beds will
n room in it. OF two rooms with a bed il
it, us they choose.
+ loardcys are requested to pull of tbei
boots before retiring, If they can convent
entity do so.
Beds with or wi,hou, bugs.
All money and other ,aluables arc (,
be left in the care Of the proprietor.
This il insisted on, as he will be respon
sible for no other loss.
Dry goods clerks strictly prohibited
Inside matter will not be furnishe,
for editors under any consideration.
Relatives coming TO make six months
visit will DO welcomed; but wLcu the,
bring their household furniture, yirtu
ceases To be u fosbcaraucc.
Single men with families will not b
boarded.
Beds with or without boards.
Drains will be charged for by the dog
en-.
Nightmares hired out at reasonabl
rates.
Stone vaults will be furnished for snor
ing boardcrs, as the proprietor will in NJ
wise be responsible for tho broken tym
panums of others ears.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

communicative near ofa GOOD
story Of a man who wcnt to the frontier
TO see friend. The family consisted Of
HUSBAND, his wife and two grown sons.
The good old lady was tho only one Of the
family who did no, take little of the 20
be joyful" Sitting by the fire few
minutes, the old man tipped him wink
and the visitor followed him out. Stop
ping By tree, b. pulled out long-neck
ed bottle, rcwarking. Il have to keep
this hid. for the boys might get To drink
ing. aad the old woman would raise the
ID" They took n dsipk, and returned
TO the Gro side. Sooa Yolu, the elder
son, asking the visitor out to see a colt
and taking him behind the barn, pulled
out flask, rcrarking, 81 have to keer
this hid, for the oil man will get drunk
and the d-l ia to pay" and thcy both
took drink aud returned. Soon Bob
stepped on the visitors toes, and walked
of, the visitor following. As they reach
cd the pig pen, Bob drew out good siscd
bottle, remarkin2: "You know the old
man and Tom will get drunk and ] have
to hide this" The visitor concluded he
couldn't stand it to drink confidentially
against the whole family, and started fol
home.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

The Two ScRoGGINEsEs.- John
II. Chisholm, who died in this city
about twenty years ago, was paying
teller of the Farmers and Mechanics
Bank for several years before his
death. He was q native of South
Carolina. and was about fifty years of
age at the time of his disease. His
fine social qualities made him very
popular. Among his 0thes talents
was his great ability as q suconieur, OF
relater of anecdotes. One of his great
stories was the following, which was
known among his friends as The
Two Scroggineses."" An Irishman,
who had been absent for some time
on fishing excursion, met one of his
friends, wbo inquired of him what
luck he had had. "Oh," he replied
1--WE had most illigant time entirely"
" Who were of your party p asked
his friend. "There was five of us, -
was his answer. There was myself,
one; the two Scroggineses, two; Terry
Toole, three Jim Kasin, four.
There were five of US. There was
Terry Toole, one myself, two; the
two Scroggineses three, and Jim
Kasin, four. There certainly ,oe,'e
five of us. There was Jim Kasin, one
Terry Toole, two, myself, three and
the two Scroggineses, four. IT'S very
strange that I can't remember who
the fifth man was There was my
self, one ; jim Kasin two; the two
Scroggineses. three; and Teyry Yoole,
four and may the devil fly away
with me if can recollect who the fifth
man was ?"--Our Monthly Gossip, IN
LipincoH for Apru.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

"CHARLIE," said grandma, rep4aving-
ly, "your portion will be in the bNrn-
ing lake at Last if you go on telling SO
many stories.
"Oh no. grandma. I couldn't stand
it,"
'But you will be made to stand it.
my boy
"Oh well, grandma, if I can only
stand it, it's all right"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

Etiquette is the art Of behaving your.
self. Manners not oaly make the man
but the woman, too what they ought tt
be-ladies and gentlemen-whcther they
roll through life ip their carriages, Of
trudge along the pavement in the lowly
Blucher. True gentil;y is the exercise
Of due regard for the feelings of youl
ueighbors, and equiette ia the escense o
gentisity.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!

xr1uE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fully iaform the citizens Of Albany and vi
sssity that he has taken charge OF this Establish
snsnt, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict atsntan to business, expects to suit all those
.rho .y favor him with their patronage. Having
hsrstsfore carried on nothing but
First-Clazs Hair Dressing Saloons.
he expects to give entire satisfaction to al
NJ Children and Ladies' Hair neatly cut and
shsupooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
apr4y3u33tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

RATES OF ADVERTISING PER YxAR One
Column, 500 Half Column, $50 Quarter Col
Column, $685.
ines or less Of this sized type. first insertion 81
each subse1uent insertion, 81.
square Is one inch in space down the column.
counting cuts, display limos, blanks, 4e., as solid
matter. No advertisement 10 be considered less
than q square, and all fractions counted full
square. All advertisements inserted for . less
period than three months to be regarded ~ tran
sicnt.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

If our lady readers wish to keep bou
quet fresh, let them drop tablespoonful
OF powdered charcoal into the water in
tended for the stalks, and they will keep
their freshness and perfume several days,
and look and smell tho same as those
just gathered. The charcoal settles at
the bottom OF the vase, the water remain
ing pure.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

Shoe Fly? This senseless, yet popular
song with the masses, is quite old, having
been sung long before the war by the me-
groes of Georgia. It is well known that
ere engine bore tho name of "Shoo Fly, !"
in Savannah as far back as 1856, having
derived its name from this ridiculous
song.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A Partisan beggar meets gentleman,
on the street corner.
Beggar I" Give NE asoa, my dear,
Sir"
Gentleman. "Will sou be enough foE
your"
Begsar. 'Yes, my dear Sir"
Gentleman. "Ihave no sou, but here Is
a teu-sou piece. You will owe me nine
sous"
Beggar. "Thank you. my dear Sirs
shall pray God to preserve your life un-
til the day when. shall give then,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

',Do you blieys in second love, Misther
McQuado?" "Humph II a man buys
pound of sugar, isn't it swate and
when it's gone, don't he want another
pound, md isn't that swate, too? Troth,
Murphy, | do believe in second lore"!
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A Parson surprised farmer whom he
seldom saw at his ministrations, by ask
ing him directly aftera little reproof Of
| sins Of omission, s'Shall We see you at
church next Sabbath" ayes" he re-
piled slowly, aI'llg go,-or send . hand Z"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A little girl wanted to say that she had
fan. but she had forgotten the name. so
she described it as thing to ebrush the
warm of you with it.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

"I wish you would give me that gold
ring on your finger" SAID village dandy:
to . country girl, "for it resembles tho.
duration Of my love for you-it has no,
.endp
"Excuse me 81" she said, 81 choose
to keep it,.for it is like my loye for Jon
lit has no, beginning"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

In Java, after the bride and groom are
at the alter, the law requires her to wash
his feet before the ceremony can be al
lowed to so on.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

Miss LILLE is a bright little girl o
four summers. Her Sunday Schoo
teachers, in questioning her few day
ago on the extent of her bible knowledge
asked her If she knew any of the com
mandmcnts. "Oh yes, tin say some,
said Miss Lille. "Then commence, m,
dear" replied the teacher. Miss Lilli,
confidently commenced thus:
"Mudder tin do out to swim,
Yes yoa tin, my daughter,
But hang your close on hic-wory lin,
And don't do fur in the water"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A Fort Plain, No., audience were so,
evidently displeased With lyceum lec'ur-.
er, the other evening that he stopped and
gave those who were Dissatisfied An oppor-
tun;ty to leave the room. The hall Waa
cleared in about frs minutes;
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

y REMARKBLE NEGRO, named Davi
Smart, died about a fortnight ago j
franklin county. Kentucky. Ahhoug
los years old at the time of his deati
aud Notwithstanding the FIRST 16 years
his life were spent in the s ate of Virgini,
this extraordinary colorcd American neve
claimed to have been the body servant {
General Washington. This is not his OF
ly title to-fame, He, was also the sole i,
ventor Of u new method Of hunting. Ha,
ing noticed that wild turkeys aud bac
hogs fed Familiarity together in the wood
the BIRDS even alighting on the backs of th
quadrupcds, he was seized by the nov,
conception os making himself pcsud,
swine, by stripping and going on all four
so us to be in q position to catch any tut
key that Saight light on his back. Th
most brilliant ingenuity is not alwa,
crowned with success, and the dusky il
ventor lie: :er Quilted seize turkey leg. a
though he was nearly frozen TO death dl
ing the experiments. Death always com,
too soon for the completed work of ger
ius and had Mr.. Smart lived Ion
enough, he meant TO- try it again.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

A Sunday School teacher in New Lon
don, Conn, asked little scholar what he
should do, If, on the way to Sunday,
School, the devil should whisper in his ear,
aud try to get him to go of to some bad.
place. The boy drew himself up to his
fall height, and said: II should say to.
him. 'Shoo, fly, don't bodder me- -
This brought tho house down.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
q. w. GRAY, ID. d. s..
aAouaTe or CINCINNATI DENTAL COLLEGE

vAYoULD INVITE ALL PERSONS DESIR-
w Jag Artificial teeth aud 6rst-class Dental
Operations. to give him . call.
Specimens Of yaiszuite Base with gold plate
Huinxs, aud other styles of work, may be
sssa ct his Office, up stairs in Parrish co.t
sriek, Albany, Oregon.
Residence, earaer Of Second and Raker streets.
aHriI'sSy3r3ftf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22

lV!Way from home, until he is able to taka
a second paper. His FIRST paper will be
his home sheet and be will SO identify
his own interests with those of his coun-
.ty paper, us to consider his yearly sub
'scriptiou as much matter of yearly duty
as the payment of his taxes"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
PARTNER WANTED.

A GOOD CARPENTER WITH A FEW HUN
IN dred dollars. can find the best opening to
make money honestly, in Linn county, by apply
ing 70 ). w. Mack. by letter at Lebanon, Oregon,
or personally at Waterloo on the South Santiam
At Lebanon. J. w. MACK.
aprsy5n5Hf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
ROSE TIME.
Br THOMAS HOOD.


II was not In the winter
Our loving lot was cast;
Ii was the time of rases-
We plucked them as wo passed
That ehurlish season never frowned
On early lovers yet;
o, no-the world was newly crowned
With flowers when We met!
Twas twilight. and bade you 60,
But still you held me fast;
II was the time of roses
We plucked them rs We passed!
Written for the DENocRAT.
FALSE.
Had known her as sister,
1 could soc her by bis side;
But, alas .he was n stranger.
And, perhaps, to be his bride.
They told mo she would win him.
And scorn the lore she'd bought
With the flashing Of her jewels
And her gaudy gems Of thought.
He sought her in the stately waltz
She had won him from my side;
did not deem he could be false
To me, his promised bride.
She has trodden on my sweetest aower,
And needed not my tears,
But saudered in one little hour
The chain that bound for years.
She snapped the golden cord Of love
That held our hearts ms one;
She smiled upon him. and, alas
My treasure from me won.
What was = tender heart 10 her,
Who had them by the scors?
Twas only one for her To crush
Among . thousand more.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
.rHE EYESi THE EARS
DR. 7. [. GOLDEN,
OcuLlST AND AURlST

DIR. GsIdea f. son of the Hot7d Old oPhthains &c
D.c,.r 5. C. Goden). has had experience IN treat
Jag tbs various diseases to which the eye aad ear
az ,.b;sct. and feels confident Of giving entire
s.tisf.etion to those who may place themselves
s,s,, hi, care. aprisv4u34f
aFFIcg or CoUSTT SCHOOL SUPERINTEN'T,
At WATERLOO, SIX MILES ABOVE LEB-
a .no, an the Ss atiaa Post Office address,
..o, J. W. MACK,
,s.lsIv ca. School Superintendent.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-04-22
5. n, REDFIelD B. CO.,

CONSTANTLY ON HAND AND REcEfv-
- ING large stock of Groceries and Provi
si.n,. W God and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigars,
C,nfecsivuery, Yankee Notions, etc., etc.
Wholesale and Retail.
1sS-oppo.its Z. C. Hill Sons Drug Store, Al
s.ny Oregon oc9v5nSy1
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-08-25
SPECIAL NOTICES.
The Season of Exhaustion.

The close sutry weather which usually pre-.
walls toward the end of summer is particularly
unisvoraDle to the feeble and enelvated. Even
he we'll. knit frames # strong men feel the in.
fuence of the season. and lsssi'ude and lsnguor
p rVade the whole community Ladies, espe
cislly those in delicste health suffrr much from
debility, occasioned by tho humid heat, srd
feel the Want Of = wholesome invigorant In
fact, necessity for something IT, recruit: the
exhausted system is experienced. moro or less,
bv sveryb dv, a'd the only question is, 1ohdt
that something wiU be. With those who have
tested the effect Eos!etter's stomach Bitters
on thtmselves, or have observed its effects o.
others, this question will not be in doubt for q
single moment. Its tonic and regulating oper-
ton, and its agency IN creating a healthy appe
t'te and promoting digestion, are rightly Glass
ed oy all who have resorted TO this unequalled
vegetable invigorant and corrective, among the
most extraordinary therapeutic wonders OF
modern times. 1t should be taken at this sea-
son as a safeguard against the epidemic dis
eases which are So apt TO attack the relaxed
system in the taIl of the year.
AS it is understood lh 1t M rcenary specula-
tors in various parts If the country arc endeav-
oring to supetsede the standard tonic of the age
with worthless articles m Manufactured by them.
selves VIII they represent 10 BIZ superior 10
this long Tried remedy, it is proper to put the
public on their guard against this species of i'm
position, and to warn them against the delete.
rious trash with which dishohorable dealers
seek to drench them. aug 22-eolw
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-08-25

PoL1cE REpoRr-MAYoR's OFFICE Ida
Hew,.s, culored, for striking and abusing the
child OF Mr.. 4. Arlington, was fined and dis
charged. -:,.:., child
of . Watts, al coored. was fined and dis
charged. ,.,
ern part OF the city under suspicious elscu ula
stances, but On proving fair Character was
DISCHARGED with an Ammunition
MAeisTKATks' OFFICE Upon warrant oe.
ore,Juslice 8each by Charlotte Williams sgslns'
Mrs. Swansberry for two dncks, the justice
gave iudgme for the plaintiff.
NIsHrk F,RT The weather last night was
varv close and sultry. Windows, which for
several nights previous had bee been 9l FIJI
d s soma OF the colured popul ,tion in that
direction At colored fcstiy in the cd Logs x
rooms above the store, On the, s. W corner o.
i inv and West street, 20 much noise Was mn aG
az TO o,c ,sion compla lit on the part OF tne
Nigh bor.. A store On, the wharf w. h na oa'
TINE supposed TO have been catered ny 'hieno ,
tut the nl.rm turned out &c be lalSe one
One lodg-~, on q tramp looSlhg Tor W"rk'
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-08-25
AUCTION MALES.

ssUBLIC SALE.-By virtue Of g decree o.
{ the Circuit Court Ut Prince William county
pronounced ON the 1lth day OF October. 1866
in lie suit of Ls'ehaw vs.. Miner: The under
signed. who was appointed special Commits
soner for that purpose, will, on MONDAY,
the lst day of August, 1870, that being Court
day, at The front door of The Court House OF
said county, sell, by ublic auction, TWO
TRACTS Of LAND, adjoining each other
che containing 7O5 acres, | rood and 28s E3a
poles, and has on it comfortable DwEL- I4&
LING. The othor contains 60 acres, roods and
q poles
These tracts of land are situated in Prince
William county, on the telegraph road from
Duufries to Fredericksburg. about two miles
from the former place.
They are we'll timbered and watered, and are
considered very good lands, and are within two
miles Of nsvigable water.
TERMS-One. fourth Of the purchase money
to b. 10 cash on the day Of sale. and the residue
in tn ee equal instruments of six, twe!re and
eighteen months; the deferred pay ments to
bear interest from the day OF sale, and to be
secured by bonds with approved personal So.
curitv; the title to be retained and The land
subject to esse, under order Of the Court,
and ten per cent of the purchase me ney forfeit
cd in case the terms are not comp led with.
EPPA RUNTUN, Comm'r.
Prince William co. jy 1-eots
Aa-The above sale has been postponed until
MON DAY, September 9Th, 1917, at the same
hour and place. aug s-eots
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-08-25

The Steele this moroing, commenting on the
item of news that the imperial headquarters
are at Rheims, says Who cares hlcMahoa
can have only one headquarters-th ccutre OF
operations. TIE imperial headquarters can
only be >uperauity, superieta,ion, al en-.
barrassment-a pretext for losing battles. The
crisis is too dangerous to talk ofinperal head
quarters anywhere near hose Of the Comman-
der in Chief.
The following cable kilograms are from pri
vaie sources -
LONDON. Aug. 25.-The Bank OF England
has re uced It's rate of Interest to four per cent.
1t is reported here that the whole of Mona.
hons army eIt Rheims on Monday.
It is beloved that the Crown Prince will
Join the armies in front Of Metz.
There are strong detachm=nts Of Prussians
at Chaumont and BrienDe.
The garrison of foul made sorje yesterday,
and seven hundred PrussaDs We're killed and
wounded 10 the action which followed.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-08-25

A METEOR. About midnight, last night,
officer Jones, of the night force, reports that ne
saw the most brilliant meteor which has been
seen 10 this latitude for many years. As the
officer was crossing King street., he saw large
meteor flame out apparently from the zeDeth,
and sweep eastwardly in direction which ap-
neared to be directly above the middle of King
street, lighting the atmosphere for some sec
onds during its transit. When it arrived at
point apparently on level with the house'tops,
it burst without noise, displaying flames OF rid
and purple, before vanishing quite away.