The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-04-14
rne Josn nftIipgs Papers.
- THE ANT.

s.---.-----------
rne Josh Billings Papers. s
THE ANT.
rhs ant Is a nenny footed insekt.
They live about one thousand FIVE hun
dred and fifty of them (more or less) in the
anne hole in the ground, and hold their
property in common.
They have no holy days, no eight.hour
system, nor never etrike for any higher
wages.
bsv no malice, nor back door to their
hearts.
There IL no sedentary loafers among
them, and you never see one out ov 9 1o5.
They git up arly, go tew bed late, WORK
all the time, and eat on the run.
Yu never see two ants argueing sum
phooiish queetion that neither OF them
didn't understand they didn't kare
whether the moon il inhabited or not, MOI
whether a fish weighing two pounds, .pu,
into q rail ov water allreddy phuli, viii
make the pail slop over or weigh more.
They amt hunting after the philoso
piers stone, nor Citing crazy over thu
cause of the sudden earthquakes.
They don't care whether Jupiter is thirt,
or thirty-five millions Of miles up in thu
air, nor whether the earth bobs on it
axes or not, so long aR it don't bob owe
their korn crib and spill their barley.
They are simple, little bizzy ants, full o
faith, working hard, living prudently, com
mitting no sin, prazeing God by mindinl
their own dizziness, and dieing when thei
times comes tew make room for the mex
crop oy ants.
They are a reproach tew the lazy, an en-
courgement tew the Industrious, rebuk'
tew tho vicious, and study tew the Chris
tian.
If YOU want tew to take lesson in ar
kitekture, 60 and set down bi the side o'
their hole in the ground, and wonder how
30 nenny kan liv 80 thick.
If your pashunes needs consolashun
watch the aunts be strengthened.
If man had (added teW bis capacity thu
pasbunes and grit ov theze atoms ov ami
mated natur, every mountain on the buzz
yum of the airth would before this have
been levelled, and every inch ov surface
would scream with fruitfulness, and count
less oy human critters would hav bin added
tew the inhabitants ov the universe, and
bin fed on corn and other sass. -"
hev sot by the hour and half dowr
near an ant-hill, and marvelled; hav won
dered ct their instinkts, and hay thought
how big must be the jackass who was sat.
isfied to beleaye that even on ant, the least
ov bugs, could hav been created, made
bizzy, and sot to work by chance.
Oh, how I do pity the individual who be-
leaves that all things here are the work oE
en- aeksident He robs himself ov all plea
zure on. earth and all right in heaven.
had rather be an ant (even humoly
bandy-legged, profane, swearing anti than
took upon the things oy this world OF
would upon the throw of the dice.
Ants are older than Adam.
Man flor very wize reasons) warn't built
until all other things were finished and
pronounced good.
IF q man had bin made fust, he would
hav insisted upon bossing the rest OF the
job.
He probably would hav objektcd to hay
ing emmy little bizzy ants at all, and various
other obiekshuns would bav bin offered.
equally green.
I am glad that man wuz the last thing
made.
If man hadn't hav bin made at all, you
never would hav heard me find emmy fault
with it.
haven't much faith in man, not bekause
he kant do we'll, but bekause he wont.
Ants hav bye laws, and constitushun,
and they mean something.
Their laws Amt like our laws, made with
o hole in them, so that man kan steal
boss and ride thru them on walk.
They don't hav any whiskey ring, that Il
virtewous, simply bekause it hooks bl thu
millyun, and then legalizes it's own aekts
They don't hav emmy legislators that VI
kan buy, nor emmy judges laying around OF
the half shell reddy to be swallered.
l rather like the ants, and think now
shall sell out mi money and real estate an'
jine them.
had rather jine them than the bulls O
bears. like their morals better.
The bulls and the bears handle more mo
new. it is true, and make great deal NOR
noise in Wall street, one ov them sticking
his horn into flabby piece of Erie ant
tossing I'D into the air, and the other ketch
inr il when it comes down and trampiing
under hiz paws.
This may be plum for the bulls and TIN
bears, but it il wuss than the cholera NOR
bust for poor Erie.
Ants never disturb Erie; We couldn't sci
one eny Erie emmy more than you could sci
one skip on the goldfish banks of Nufound
land.
Ants are honest, hard-tugging LITTLE
people, but whether they marry and liy il
marriage il beyond my strength; but i
they don't they are no wuss oph than they
are out West (near the city of Chicago)
where they marry to-day and apply for oil
injunkshun tomorrow, aud are reddy TIT
next day to fite it out again on some othe
line. ...
Wedlock out West (near the CRATE grail
mart, Chicago,) IL one of them kind O
locks that almost emmy boldly kan pick
Neto York Weekly.
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