Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-04-26
NUMBER XXI.
Our Saturday Night.
He is Sleeping Now!
Hush |

He is sleeping now It is once more the
ending of the week-once more Saturday night,
and still live to work, to drudge, to toll, to
suffer, and to SORROW Thus spoke wife to
US tonight, and thus her heart says more than
her lips dare utter And we will tell you what
said her heart as it passed with its terrible his
tory like a panorama in tatters before her.
ONLY, her soliloquy.
He is sleeping now That hot, feverish,
deadened slumber which follows revel, drink,
dissipation And while he sleeps,
rather than look at him-the selfish island of
humanity in Gods Sea of Life on which my
heart was wrecked, let me look over the part Of
my own life-more torn, tattered. tear-wet and
trampled than his-more of a sad, sorrowing,
suffering picture than the world knows Of Once
| could tor hours gaze on him, who is sleeping
his drunken sleep, with joy and pride. But
now
Back to the past Like ship storm-driven
back to its harbor flies my soul ; my thoughts
d back to its wooing, the betrothal, the mating.
Then he was In his prime. A fair, frank manly
man. His step was light, yet firm His breath
was sweet, and his lips were like the velvet of
God And Q so full of that life and electri-
cal power. His hand was gentle In touch as
his words were ever lowtoned to me, and full
of mellow cadences from love-laden heart He
came like man, as he can be yet-as he is
when not stepped in poison and dead to all that
is pure, true, noble and immortal.
Then he came to me like smie-like hone
like joy-like heart-stay and comfort-as
do the green islands of the sea come to us in our
dreams He was kind, and good, and Thought
full, and for this, for. himself, for the noble in
him, and the promise of the future, said YES
to his woolng Then, others envied me. The
girls.s said was lucky. The women said I had
secured prize And men told him that he
was fortunate in winning the life, the love, the
bloom and freshness of maidenhood- andfriends
gave us good wishes.
Loved him? 4
/ did! God knows did And why not +? He
was good He was gentle and kind. His COM
ing was my JOY. His presence, my life. His
eyes, so full of deep, immortal fire, were nv
warmth The touch of his hand to mine-his
lips to mine-his gentle kiss on my forehead, as
he told me before God that he loved me- was
heaven ITSELF
And then | was happy. My heart was right.
Like zephyr, my soul danced over the seas of
fe laughing at the misery of others, resting in
the year-marked bowers, only to look back up-
on bissful, happy life. | was with him by
day and by night. When he was at home, gain
ing strength for the morrow's duties, I was in
his heart and he in mine when he was absent.
sent my heart with him-I thought of him
his love was like the soft-palmed hand of God,
holding me up, sustaining me, keeping me from
temptations, filling my soul with love for him.
had no hunger OF the heart, for his love was
my food. | felt no fear, for his brave, earnest,
manly worth was my protection. | saw others
but only thought of him. [ sighed, longed.
looked for his coming. And was happy when
came his loving torm-his soull lit eyes-his
word OF love and kiss Of gladness at his return
to welcome my heart to d still closer home in
his
And then, when to his heart he held mine
when he looked way down into the depths of
the truthful eyes to his so fondy gazing-when
his hand smoothed back the hair from my
temples, and on my brow he left another kiss
as seal tor the future, | grew so strong In love
and talth-so brave and trusting, that not all
the misfortune In the world-not all the golden
covered dlamondset temptations in the world
could have won me or my hearts allegiance
from hlm-my loved-my husband | could
have defied life, death, or the future for him,
for loved him. When he was sick l so loved
to be by him ; to wait on him; to care for him;
to sooth him and his nervousness to rest to sit
by him, with palm resting on his throbbing
temples-to smooth back the hair from his
brow-to administer remedies as only loving
woman can-to lift him from sickness to health
by that heart-suggested gentle nursing, in it's
fe-restoring power beyond all else in the world
to bathe his head, his breast-to kiss his lips,
which, to me, were sweet even in sickness, and
do by him as women do so faithfully by those
they love- Love him? did-God knows I
did And we were happy.
But, hush
Hei is sleeping now A dead. poisoned, un-
natural sleep. The picture of the past is a
dream A horrid horror Its air is heart
stirling. 1t chokes me to the soul Its roses
are thorns-Its bowers seem like clouds of fire
as in agony fly from the once hoppy past to
the dying present o. God pity me Why
this cruel rewarding of love Is there no honor,
no love, no manhood in man? Is this mans
reward for the love of woman? Is this mans
idea of happiness-of power-of greatness-of
life-of death Hours. days. weeks, wears have
l watched, and prayed, and waited, and suffer-
ed There is no more the heart-lit fire In his
eye. The step which so wakened the echoes of
my heart is now deadened, unsteady, uncertain
in its coming. His kind words died from poison.
His handi not the kind gentle hand of yore.
His kiss. Il,
Great God His kiss Once-once-once,
was not as now, hot, scalding, burning like these
bitter tears, but full of life and electric power
that the highest one would waken me from
sleep to clasp him to my bosom and whisper
voice of God is not more clear But now-his
his hot, stirling breath, wakens me with feel
ing none but woman or woman reading can
know-and l turn this way and that way. all
ways, to escape. And pray God to return the
sunlight of the past, to lift him | onced loved
back to his manhood and to my heart but
prayer is of no avail, for him | so loved will not
be man-and Gods power is powerless where
man aoM noti
He is sleeping-I am waiting for relief. His
touch is coarse, rough, often brutal He knows
no passions but his own. His desire is all. He
owns me as his slave. The law gave me to him.
as he says, with leer, and thickness of
speech. do his bidding like the slave that /
am. They tell me that l must. That prom
ised to love, cherish, and obey him
So | did But the ham | promised to love
was not the ham who is sleeping there. prom
ised to love the one who was good, and true
and kind to me, and be In return all this to him.
But the one who is sleeping there-he is not
the one gave my heart and promise to That
one loved me- tie wooed me. He won me-
He was GOOD to me. He promised to love me.
and to provide me with home. Is this loye3
Is this home? This prison-these bare walls
this bare floor-tbis abode of neglect-is this
a home? 7r- sss.r -s9 s5frs
But hush-he is waking Unjust go to him.
| must bend low to catch his maudin whisper,
lest he speak cross, scold, curse, rave, and per-
haps beat me. | must be gentle, good, true,
kind, virtuous dutiful wife, or he will not love
me! | must feel his hot breath in my face
must rest with hiln-must lay my head on the
pillow beside his-must feel his passion-deviled
hand over me like a crawling serpent, horror
coated as it is-Aust endure his hot, befumed.
and bedeviled caresses-must yield myself to