davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22
Smart Folks.

THERE is great deal said about certain
persons being smart, but do not believe
two individuals can be found who would
give the same definition of the term.
If a baby has teeth little sooner, or
prattles "Ba, ba," when little younger
than some other mothers baby did, why
it's "smsrt baby"
If child is bright and childlike, it is
called Smart" but ii it is bold and i'm.
pudent, 1t is Every smart" in the eyes Of
some people.
If boys or girls are studious, they are
styled smart" ii they work well, they
are "smsrt; !" but ii they are full Of the
very spirit of mischief, they are Smart
also.
II q young lady is dressy, smiles be-
witchingly, and prattles funny little moth
ings, she is SMART but if she is staid
and grave, or talks nuently of nebulD,
crustacea, and cotyledons, she is "smart"
too.
II she plays the pianoforte, she is sup
posed to be "smart;" but If, without
knowing fat from sharp, she wiclds
the rolling pin and broom, OF course she
is ''smart."
If q man is learned and wise, he Is
Smart" but If he is witty and funny,
even though he don't know verb from a
fraction, he Is ''smart" also.
If he makes speeches, of course he is
"smarr;" but if he does not, you will
surely be told that he "too smart 70
tell all he knows"
If he employs his superabundant brains
on other peoples affairs he IL "yery
SMART" but ii he has sense enough TO
mind his own business, he is "uncom-
monty smart" ~
, If a boy supports his widowed mother,
he is a good, smart, clever lad !" but If
he DULLES his little sisters, runs in debt,
and breaks his mothers heart, he may
still be spoken of as "smart young
rascal, after all. i" ...-..s
Early -risers are invariably dubbed
"smart;" but the lazy fellow who lies
abed till noon, and then rushes down
town and CANDLES shrewdly in stocks un-
til three, Is among the smartest Of the
smart. a.+. ~
A faithful book keeper, after years of
active service, may be called ga good,
smart fellow by his employers; buff he
cheats them sly ly out OF a few thousands,
they must admit, at the deno,teuae,st, that
he has been "too smart for them"
The fact is, very few persons are smart
enough TO define exactly what "smaTt T"
means.-Hedrthd and Home.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
THE RAIN.

Two little children, with faces awry.
Sazed at the great black clouds marrying by;
And they looked Hight sous because Of The rain
NOW, why should they greet with such solemn
frown sa IA
The good little drops that came patterins down,
Whiie the buds 'neath the window looked up aud
smiled, tt
And the dusty old maple to Joy was beguiled,
ror ne laughed tire his limbs, and his leaves
In the mirth d the wind and the pat Of the rain.
o. they wished that day thro' the wood to roam,
To get away from their school ana home;
And Ned, at last, with glance behind,
Lest others should happen 70 hear his mind,
II ever wish in the woods to CO."
And Nelly replied, "Of course It is,"
And the tears ran over her little round phiz.
But for all their caution and whispering sly,' i.
listener lurked In the corner by,
And he chatted loud as over the Moor
He hoped In and out OF the open door.
Nelly and Ned saw him blthely pass
Into the wet and shining grass,
And across he path where the yellow head
OF bright Young psnsy peeped up as 1t said.
VIVA, beautiful rain " and she sighed in bliss,
Ard opened her mouth for the drops to kiss;
ia arother hour surely had died,
And Nelly her labor had lost besids
IN bringing me here and planting me
" here my pretty head she could daily see"
She lifted her leaves for the cricket To cover
HIMSELF from rain till the rsin was over;
And long they Eat, and with hearts content, t..
Talked low and soft TIL the rain was spent.
Now, OF course, these children no words colld
hear
From the good little cricket and pansy near;
But Nelly looked down on her saining flower
And said. why, how bright 1t Is aner the
And mother said she was sure It would die,
For The morning was late and the sun so high
When took IL out of lie native loan
And Get II down IN a strange, new home"
SO Nelly forgot that the rain had been I'D
source OF grief in this greater gain,
And IN her heart she blessed the shower ~
That had given new life to her looping flower.
Besides this flower were Thousand TIL ngs
That leaped TO life a. with new pumed wings,
Who, II Nelly and Ned could have stopped the
rain.
With meek reproaches In death would have lain.
And host Of beauty and bloom would have
gone,
II two little children their wishes had won.
so, little ones, though II is hard we know,
When you are all dressed and ready to 20,
That clouds should gather and rain should como
That hats must come ~ and you stay at tome;
Yet re member that while to you few, II is pain,
To many tits life, sweet life is the rain.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22
Long Branch In Slices,
BY JOSH KILLINGS.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.
LONG BRANCH liz the eastern terminus
ov sum real estate on the west side ov the
Atlantik Oshun, and izlokatid Gloss down
to the edge ov the water.
The populashun is homo genus WO-
man genus, girl and boy genus, yung
one genus, and divers other kind OV
genus - tH 5'H
The divers genus are sum plenty. They
go into the Atlantik Oshun, hand in
hand, man and wife, phcllow and gall,
stranger and strangeresses, drest in flow
ing robes, and cum out by and by like
statuary in a tite fit. |.. ~ }j t
The Atlantik Oshun IL CRATE success.
The author and proprietor ov 1t never
makes emmy blunders. a.#.E'
The fluid ov the Atlantik Oshun IL
salt, and haz bin so for more than 800
years to my knowledge. state this rs
stubborn fakt, and the "oldest inhH6itant'
may help himself if he can. '1esH "t
The ockashun of this psaltness has
bothered the clergy for years. sum ov
them say, that large Jumps ov psait wus
bi the Injans, for safe keeping, and some
say that the crate number of kOdhsh and
number makrel that travel in its waters
endorse the kodfsh and makrel Job,
not bekauze l think il liz true, hut be-
kauzse think 1t IL the weakest, and /
have alwus bin In the habit Ov standing
up for the weak and oppressed.
Millionaires are numerous, besides 9TH
ers who put on . millyun ov airs, more or
less. ~
Long Branch haz menny things TO In
Nar h. ,holl ,,~I - S~H
among which IL the race course, Just
bilt. -. ...
| attended this race course lately, and
saw sum very good rotary movements
on 1t.
Ididn't bet, bekause hav alwus been
principled against losening emmy money.
l think ! could win emmy quantity OF
money, and not Spite mi morality, but tho
out of repair for ages.
Long Branch IL also the home ov tho
miscellaneous crab and the world-re-
nOwned musketO.
The crab Is kaught In endless confusion
at Plczzure Bay cuss bi Long Branch.
He liz kaught hi tieing hard knot ON
the other end ov string, and then drop
ping the string down in the water, and
tickling the bottom of his feet with the
knot, in this way, sumtimes he Is kaught,
and sumtimes he liz not.
The musketo IL ez natral to NJ Jersee
az Jersee litening liz.
The musketo IL marvellous kuss, but
viii ne ever wuz allowed tew take out hiz
papers, and travel, IL unknown tew me, or
emmy ov mi near relations.
If he haz emmy destiny TO flll, II must be
his stummuk, for he is the biggest bore,
ackording tew the size ov hiz gimlet, /
hay ever met seldom. Itdon't look well
for philosopher tew be fracktious at
ennything, not even bug, but If emmy
boldly ever hears me swear tout Loudly he
may know thare. haz hin a knsaid mnaka-
teer on mi premises. aB dl"H
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

For travelling on another mans free
pass on the Lebanon VALLEY, Pa, railroad,
Lewis Snyder hAs been arrested and held
in $500 bau 70 answer the charge Of
ftaudulsntly uttering railroad paa. ~.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

THE following scene At the railroad de-
pot in that city is described by the st.
Joseph (Mo) Herald. 1'#
A woman, with baby six months old In
her arms, alights from an omnibus In tho
dusk of rainy evening, when up steps .
gentleman, with quiet, but firm manner,
and says, "Let me take him into the car"
The mother, with q calm indifference, re-
signs the child to the gentleman, who
takes 1t into the Car of the train which ID
ready to start. 1t needs no further in
formation than IL afforded by the fond
caresses lavished upon the child TO know
that 1t Ia in the arms Of its father, and the
wee sweet little thing is delighted, too,
while the mother sits sloof and gazes
coldly out Of the window. Soon the bell
Of the locomotive rings, the conductors
voice is heard warning the passengers TO
get on board, and the man, kissing the
baby wild kiss, places II in the lap Of
It's mother, whispers low "gOod bye" 70
the woman and leaves the car. As the
train moves of the prattling face Of the
infant Ia seen at the window by its father,
and its little hand Is extended toward him.
He touches II for brief moment with the
remOrseless movement Of the train, which,
doing the behest 81 hateful circumstance,
tears it away forever. The man retires
from the notice Of the crowd, his head b
bowed upon his bosom, and his great
frame IL shaken with the weight Of the
greater grief He weeps.
This scene was witnessed at the depot
last evening. II was the finale TO . d.
vorce suit that was recently decided in
our Circuit Court. 80
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

The past was the hottest summer for
ninery two yearsl They have been over
hauling the records of Yale College.
From July 10 to August 10, 1870, the
mean daily tempersture was. at New
Haven. 80 de degree, Ind. and =! no season: =
secutive hot days. Our highest tempers
ture this summer was (July ~ noted at
50 degrees, and this has been exceeded
only four times during the period above
indicated, ct New Haven, the thermome-
ter rising 70 100 degrees one day each
year in 1854, 1900 and 1S45. In 1898 It
reached 101. ti'.
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22
Which Would You Rather Do!

JOHN ADAMS, father of John Quincy
Adams, used TO say, "When was boy,
/ had to study the Latin grammar, but it
was dull, and I hated it. My father was
anxious to send me TO college, and there
fore I studied the grammar till / could
bear 1t no longer, and, going TO my
father, told him did not like study, and
asked him for other employment. 1t was
opposing his wishes, and he was quick in
his answer.
"Well, john said he, if Latin gram.
mar does not suit you, you may try ditch
ing-perhaps that will. My meadow
yonder needs ditch, and you may put
by grammar and dig
"This seemed delightful change, and
to the meadow l went, but soon found
ditching harder than Latin, and the first
forenoon was the longest ever expert
enced.
''Thst day ate the bread of labor, and
glad was / when night came on. That
night made comparison between Latin
grammar and ditching, but said not a
word about it.
II dug the next forenoon, and wanted
10 return to Latin at dinner time but it
was humiliating, and could not do it,.
At night, toll conquered pride, and told
my father--one Of the severest lessons Of
my life-thst, if he chose would 90 back
to Latin grammar.
"He was glad Of II, and If ] have since
gained any distinction, it has been owing
TO my days labor in that sbominable
ditch"
Daniel Webster did not like moving
any better than John Adams liked ditch
ing. His father told him to chang" his
scythe TO suit himself, and he went and
hung Il ON q tree. However, both Adams
and Webster worked harder with their
brains than most boys with their muscles
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

A JURY in RocklAnd county, N. Y,
rendered the following verdict recently
1--WE lnd thst the aaid Waiter - Was
drowned August !, 1870. in the river ct
Tompkins' Cove, In the town Of Stony
Point, b. srecklessly jumping into the
river, while under the msddening infu.
ence OF intoxicating liquor, obtained q
the stores Of John Conner and John Con
mel, licensed by the Board Of Excise, IN
the face OF remonstrance against license,
signed by two hundred and fourtssn
names; and we do ny that . Board d
Excise that would grant such . license,
against such rem0nstrance - va pre-
sented In the case, are not, In our OH
ION, worthy the confidence or Gu0taEo q
. Christian Or moral peoplA"
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

States alone has granted more than 100,
600.
THR Janesville, Wis, Gazette says that
"a young lady who had been rendered q
position in our city schools for the coming
term, wrote note declining the appoint
nnent on the ground that she had received
better offer. She was married last Tues
day"
SOME idea of the magnitude Of the
work of taking the census may be gained
from the fact that from twelve to fifteen
hundred volumes of one thousand pages
each will be required in which 10 enter
the names Of the individuals returned by
the Assistant Marshals.
THE average age Of American dergy-
men, at death, is found to be "a, which is
years more than the longevity of the next
most favored class, 10 years more than in
the other professions, and from IL TO 10
years above that of mechanics, Artisans,
miners, operatives, and the like.
A GENTLEMAN and wife at Portland,
Me-, who recently arrived at the dignity
Of . "tin wedding" had the hallway Of
the house 20 stock cd with tin pans, kettIes
and other ornaments, that IL soon became
impossible for the servant TO answer the
doof-bell without going through the base.
ment.
Iris sometimes curious to nosice how
sharp b the dividing line between . coun.
try Visited BY shower and that which n
not. A recent rain In Ban Diego wus q
curiosity. The Ishowef WAS very heavy
n one part e tho town, but beyond {
certain line near the heaviest shower not
roof wAs VET Gah1 fln6t 4
4 Px1soN n Boston who found the
Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-22

1t was much like the Bardell and Pick.
wick case, and the letter sounded 90 bod.
SON & Foggish that 1t was impossible to
repress smile.
"What's TO be done" queried Saul,
anxiousy. "a
First and foremost, you might marry
the lady"
Saul shuddered.
"In the next place" But what passed
vas under The seal Of professional conf.
dispatched note Ia Messrs. Schuys-
ter d Skinner, soliciting, - Mr.. 6ereleafs
Attorney . conference on tho following
day, snd skiing them to have their client
present 10
At the appoi1sed hour, icunf the lady
and her legal advisers drawn up n order
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03
SLANDER-MEANNESS.

The mcanest and dirtiest work a newsPa-
per scribbler can set himself about, is that of
advertising, Extensively, a mans habits, be-
canse he happens to be place before the poo
pie for an Office. Especially is this indica-
ton Of littleness Of spirit and delaunchery
of mind on the part of the writer and pub
Usher Of such ISLANDERS. when it is widely
known that the party so maligned has wres-
tied with his apetites like a hero, and tri-
umphed. These gentlemen who are now as-
sailing Archie Williams, our Republican
candidate for Attorney General, as drunk
ard, had better go into their private rooms
and examine themselves, whenever they
have lucid hour and can do 80, and deter.
mine whether they have sufficient strength
to go and do as Archie Williams has done
There is no sort of doubt about its being .
change in their habits desirable for their OWL
reputation and well being. and also some
thing that would cause the angels in the hca
vens to rejoice over. Society has a deep in
terest in such reform. A man who has
clear head, active conscience and a goot
heart, will never be found doing such dirt,
work. Such will always, under whatever
circumstances. be found doing what they car
10 strengthen the purpose, and help ths
reform of men who have been addicted t.
an excessive use of ardent spirits.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03
SPONTANEOUS GENERArION.


The Ancient Theory-Re~ults Or seven
Generations II ScieatiAe Researeh-
e'OsstAgtOn and Observation-Disclosures
icai faish-ritiity OF Science.
From the Speech Of Professor Huxley, before the
British Association.
1t Is matter OF everyday experience that
it is difficult to prevent many articles of food
from becoming covered with mould; that
fruit, sound enough to appearance, often
contains gruts at the core; that meat, left to
itself in the air, is apt to putrefy and swarm
with maggots. Even ordinary water, if al
lowed TO stand in an open vessel, sooner or
later becomes turbid and full Of living mat
ter. The philosophers of antiquity, when
interrogated as to the cause of these phenO-
mena, were provided with ready and plau-
sible answer. 1t did not answer their minds
even TO doubt that these low forms of life
were generated in the matters in which they
made their appearance, and the proposition
that life may and does proceed from that
which has no life, was held alike by the
philosophers, the poets, and the people OF
the most enlightened nations eighteen hun
dred years ago, and remained the accepted
doctrine of learned and unleaned Europe
through the middle ages down even to the
seventeenth century.
SPONTANEOUS GENERATION DISCREDIrED.
The first Reputation of it, the frs. distinct
enumeration Of the proposition that all living
matter has sprung from pre-existing living
matter, come from an Italian, francesca
Redi, man Of the widest knowledge and
most versatile abilities, distinguished alike
as scholar, poet, physician, and naturalist /;
who just 2O2 years ago give to the world the
idea which it is my purpose to trace. He
did not trouble himself with speculative con-
siderations, but attacked e1perimentaiiy
what had been considered to be particular
cases of spontaneous generation. "Here are
dead animals, pieces Of meat" he said; 81
expose them to the air in hot weather, and
in few days they will swarm with maggots.
You tell me that these are generated in the
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03
UNlvERSAL SUFERAGE-UNlVE
SAL AMNESTY-REPCD OF
THE NATIONAL DEBT

The Commercial says Benz. S. Turner, the
colorcd candidate for Congress in the Selma
District, is making a vigorous canvass upon
the broad grounds Of universal suffrage, uni
versal amnesty and Reputation of the public
debt. Ii proceeds 10 remark that the man.
NERVE suppose he means, in which he is
making the canvass-ought 10 put TO shame
some of the radicals. No doubt it should, If
the colored candidate is running as Republic
can, with such banner flung to the breeze.
But it is curious division of Interest in
him that is exhibited. Universal suffrage
makes him Republican, while the advoca-
cy Of universal amnesty almost takes him
into the fold Of such as the Commercial. But
Reputation of the public debt docs not be-
long to the Democratic creed. But our
neighbor forgets that Mr.. Turner may have
Profted himself in his brief tutilage in the
school of party politics by the inculcations of
the Democrats. Any sort of preaching to
gather the harvest of votes. He suits, or
tries to suit, all the different stripes Of DEM
ocrats. 1t is substantially incorrect to say
that Reputation is not Democratic doctrine.
There are a large class of Democrats
great army Of them-all through sections of
the country where Turner is Grating, who
fought the Government, who, for short, are
called rebels. They are all repudiationists.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03

the ranks of the French ZOuaves at very
early age, and distinguished himself at
Zaatcha, where he led the Africaa Turcos to
the assault having cigar in his mouth and
a wooden "cudgel" or big stick in his hand.
In the Crimea he had charge Of the French
telegraph. At Inkerman he was the first to
come to the assistance of the British troops
with his Zouavcs; and at the capture Of the
Malakof he was severely wosnded. A dis-
tinguishing trait in the character Of Bour-
baki is his frank bearing, and the outspoken
manner in whicrhe expresses his opinion on
all subjects in which it is required, to the
very highest authorities.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03

THE Oldest newspaper in the United States
is the New Hampshire Gazette, published at
Portsmouth. 1t began its existence in Aug
ust, l756. The next is the Newport Mercury,
in Rhode Island, which was started in Sep
TENDER, 175S, by James Franklin, son Of
James Franklin, and nephew Of Benjamine
Franklin. The third in age is the Conneeti-
cut Courant, which first appeared in Deem
Der, 176I. The COurant is now printed both
as weekly and a daily, and was never bet
ter than at present. 1t was established by
Thomas Green. The fourth is the Spy. And
these four are the only papers in the country
which existed previous to the revolution.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03
a Case lisa Point for Lawyers and
SsnerfmS.


\ correspondent; of the Toledo Commercial
writing ffbm Bowling Green, Wood County,
Oct. 18th, narrates The following amusing
item: ..... .-E -r
During the forenoon of to-day the Court
was a good deal annoyed by onc. Of the attor-
news being absent whenever a ease was called
i'm which he was interested. lie WIS sent
for several times and called into court, but
would leave at once when not absolutely cn-
gagged. The patience of the Judge became
exhausted after awhile, and he directed the
Sheriff that shouid the delinquent come into
the court room again not to suffer him tn de-
part ,hcrefrom without leave IF the court.
All passed along quietly until just at evening
when the truan, attorney slipped ont of the
door, but no, unseen by the Sheriff. The
latter dartcd after him and sliced Linn when
about half way down the stairs. He brought
him by force tn the court room door, when
the attorney resolved that he would not he
taken into the room, and resisted with all the
might he had. A severe and very noisy
sc,Iflle cnsucd, and both parties Were exhaust
cd. The Sheriff succeeded in dragging hin,
into the room and closing the door. The
discounted disciple Of Blackstone came for
ward and took scat, and in Two minutes
thereafter about peck of vest and pants but
tons might have been swept together on the
floor. The struggle took place in full view
Of the Court and bar.
Our Sheriff was soldier and had learned
that the greatest and best duty OF the soldier
was to obey orders. On 4 previous occasion
dog persisted in disturbing the Court, when
tine Judge ordered the Sheriff to pitch him
out of the window. In moment the do:.
was flying through the air between the Sec
ond story and the ground. When the Judge,
this evening, saw his order being fulfilled, he
exclaimed, 81 believe in that Sheriff. We
all do.
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03

If the wandering death-bed utterances OF
the two Confederate chieftains, "Stonewall !"
Jackson and Robert f. Lee, may be consid.
cred as final upon the matter, then Gen. A.
p. Hill, who lost his life at the closing battle
of the war, must be accepted by history as
the most trusted coadjutor of these COM
manders. In his dying moments, Jackson
exclaimed, "Send A. =. Hill to the front''
Upon his death-bed, at Lexington, Gen.
Lee, his mind reverting to the bloody events
of the war, "once ordered his tent to be
struck, and at another time desired Hill to
he sent for"
The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-03

We hasten TO return our profound thanks
to the young editor of the WauerIy Enterprise,
n. Y, for the clever words spoken in his
last paper about U.S. We have no doubt
about his future, if he lives and keeps his
health. He is born newspaper man and
journalist. We predict that the Enterprise
and its young editor and proprietor will
grow into an Constitution altogether too
large for the limits of Waverly, unless that
wide awake little town concludes to get into
her proper PAGES toward the achievement Of
the franchise of a CITY.