The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-05-25
,:pRoposAls IND. REFUsaLs.
from John Bull I

sMonHeur," said arc0urtly Frencnman,
when demanding the hand Off fair young lady
in rnarria9s from her father, "Je demande
NaiemoiseIie yotre file. 81 ellie de Pargent,
c,est biBnt.e eli ellie men o pas, o'est t0ujours
-GssAniAissns yoEe flle que 70 vons demanda"
This was aaproposal of the old school, OF that
sslmnss % ec6ld ito'iuse circus phrase) which
seat,Sa 70 be, cetfpletaly on the wane. Propo-
eaS5 fn!thssS days ara not generally based on
suth unspffsh ciples, or expressed IN such
hioh.bred 1gngnsg &c. Z The thought OF the pro-
oo,en too often as, how imucS the lady Will re-
ceivetas 81 marfiagel portion, and whether the
family will be an advantageous one 70 De con,
neUted with; while the object OF the proposa
ao her part Will speculate on the prospects OF
gentleman, and ooneider whether, IN the
event Of q richer sutton coming forward, she
could find loophole for dlsmisslng the accept
ed one, However, where there Is real love,
based upon mutual esteem, be the couples
young, old or middle-aged, the settlements"
are not the one primary consideration in the
cenSry.engsged couple is truly terrible thing
To see : but some allowance must be made for
the indirect influences brought TO bear on the
occasion .by,. essentially worldly parents and
custdians: '<Faults comes thick where love
Hes thin !" therefore, the less ardent the mutual
devotion, the more numerous the so-called
stitches" which so often occur In the attempts
Is people advance In years and still contem-
plate matrimony, there fs generally one who
Ia eager for an establishment or marriage at
any price-this being Of course the lady; while
the gentleman is not so anxious to be settled,
unless he sees that considerable advantages
W0ild accrue from 1t, tending to his personal
comfort or. convenience; Proposals are not @ so SO
age Of thirty, and are, therefore, more eagerly
grasped. A long engagement Is at that time
out Of the question, as both lady and gentle
man, we presume, are OF an age 70 Know tneir
own minds. But when man proposes 70
woman over forty IT ladies ever 20 % aTtan sIat
ted not so much her personal charms as those
of her personalty. The solfliquies OF such a
mftn over his cigar are In general much the
same as the reflections Of Mr. Alfred Jingle,
after escaping, under pretext OF getting the IL
cense, from the bony caresses OF the spinrster
Aunt. These thoughts found vent IN three
words -"Rum old gal. -
Waheard the other day of a curious refusal
to an offer of marriage. A gallant captain
proposed to young lady when playing game
at besique. Although she had no intention Of
accepting him, her only reply was grin, SUBJ
stituted for the monosyuable..No; thus con-
tladic'ing the proverb that "Silence gives con-
sent.n. The captain, in short, had to grin and
bear it; and but for the condolences OF the Lady
tn an indiscreet married friend OF her acquaint-
anca This little story would never have been
known. eWa16annot say that the lady IN her
refusal emuldeed the manners of the Srench
courtler whose manner Of demanding young
lady ia marriage we mentioned at the COM
mencement of this essay; but she certainly was
no WaSterof w0fds-a grand quality In woman
A proposal from a man who Is not only mer-
cenary, but penniless, suggests much that is
egotistical in his character, and one would not
argue much for the future happiness of he
lady should she accept him. Such man stops
at nothing that panders to his own convent
ence, and pause6 not to consider whether he
can nhsr her home and comforts in an, sort
of nrOp0rtion to what she has been accustomed
to In her parents house, and has the vanity to
think that his charms alone are sufficient to
dispense with the trivial matter Of balance at
his bankers. Supposing her 10 be an only
daughter, or the last unmarried one, and no
sons In the way, he may think her home con-
yenient pied d terre. Properly interpreted,
this would mean that he Is to be master OF the
situation, keep all the other members of the
family at 8 respectful distance, and rule over
the es-devant master and mistress Of the estab-
lishnent, playfully calling them the "Qld
Birds.n Let these antiquated fowls remember
that, saves fetus adult0s sue ipsorQp fduc@
permittunt,n and pause ere they resign the au
thority of their own home to the guardianship
of such man. There is something mean
spirited in man not wishing to make home
for the woman whom he has asked to be his
wife, and he must be greatly wanting In self
respect who can submit to be entirely depen-
dent on anothers bounty.
There are cases in which people propose
without the very smallest encouragement,
their vanity so binding them that they believe
they can win without the trouble Of woolng;
but the faintrhearted class, even under en-
couragement, procrastinate and shilly-shally
until the opportunity they, have long wished
for has passed away, and they have the mortl-
fcation of seeing the prize they. had lona
coveted appropriated by more prompt and
less hmid suitor: There are those who be-
neve in fate, and propose almost at first sight
or on the very shortest acquaintance, rlsklng
their chance Of refusal. Believing thoroughly
with Marlowe, in his once popular poem of
"Hero and Leander," that
'when both deliberate the love is slight:
Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?h
Treating of refusals, tits both heartless and
dishonorable In q woman to. encourage and
draw on man to make her an offer which she
no Intention of accepting, and when she mere
~ wishes to swell the list Of her suitors or to
boast of the, number of conquests. she has
male. But people do anything nowadays
break of engagements, make freslrproposals,
do not take refusal ofapy kind as sine die, and
conduct such affairs without principles, with
ont rlie. without remedy. We Lift our hands
regretfdny, and say, O tenpora! O nores!
BuHNrss ENvrIorEs.9THE NEWS Job Office
b now prepared to furnish good envelopes, with
Sudneco cards printed thereon, at s. per thous.
mo-, send Your orders. Every merchant ana
'usiness man shouM have his card printed on his
lnyNopeA