Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-23

heard of that wasn't spoiled by bsaYG IL
| Onized Wa. a Jew named Daniel.
Fashionable young lady detaching her
hair previous to retiring: What dreams
may come when we have shufficd off this
! mortal col:' ~
Problems: how to make bread and but
ter come out even, and how to make the
upper leather last as long the soles, or
the soles as long as the upper leather.
Mrs Elizabeth Hogg, widow of the EFT
trick Shepherd" died recently in Scotland,
aged eighty-one, having survived her hus-
band thirty five years
A sensible newspaper is very severe on
"drivelling grammar-smashers who ruth.
lessly deplcte the labor market of plow-
boys and overstock the supply of bad
editors"
No matter how much desire you have
to fight, never begin on a mule or cross
eyed man. Their looks don't advertise
clearly enough where they are going TO
hit
Atmospherical knowledge, SAYS the
Dinbury, Mass, Neus, is not thoroughly
distributed in our schools. 4 boy being
asked What is mist." vaguely responded
"An umbrella"
country girl coming from the field
was told by her cousin that she looked as
fresh as a daisy kissed by the morning
dew. ''No indeed WAS The simple reply,
that wasn't his name"
A philosophical young lady of this city
thus moralizes on the late storm: 1T is
wisely ordained that the same wind that
sweeps our dresses aside also fills the
eyes Of naughty young meri Wits dirt
A company of New York sporting men
have purchased l2 600 acres of land, in
! Pike county, Pa, and intend stocking it
with fish and game, after the manner of
| the preserves in England and Scotland
A mosquito taper is Pittsburr irvci.
| ton. 1t creates such a smell when burn.
ing that the mosquitoes ask to be excused.
II drives human beings out of doors also,
which is its only defect
A horse thief, named Tullev. was par.
doned from the Vermont prison a few
weeks ago, and ten days after his liberia
ton stole horse from the first man who
signed the petition for his pardon and rode
him forth strange countries for to see.
Lady Burgoyne has received from the
Empress Eugene costly gold locket, in
which her Majesty's photograph is to be
| inclosed, as souvenir of her memorable
voyage to England in Sir John Burgoyne's
yacht, the Gazcllc
A Mississippi paper was so occupied
with an explanation Of the editors policy
that there was not place left for the elec-
tion returns, which were laid over a week
owing to the ''extraOriinary press" of
important matter
I ut is pleasant thing to reflect upon"
\ says Dickens land furnishes a complete
answer to those who contend for the
gradual degeneration of the human spe-
| cies, that every baby born into the world
| Is finer one than the last"
A cruel mother. in Indiana. recently
captured and married her daughters in.
tended, whereat the young lady took um.
bragg and by way of dire revenge, set offa
half dozen punches of fire crackers under
the bridal couch
A new loom, exhibited few days since
at Providence, was operated by the in.
| ventor in presence of large number of
manufacturers and business men, and
produced cloth Of the best quality at the
enormous rate Of nearly one thousand
yards day.
The Rev. O. B. Judd. whose divorce
suit in New Haven, year and a half ago,
created such a stencil. is reported to have
separated from the young woman Susan
ma, whom he married after the suit The
former Mrs. Judd is said to have fallen
heir to $4,000. A rich theme for a
Braddon novel
Des Moines printer went farming
last year. He planted an acre of fine
land with some excellent c0bJage seed.
In the fall he harvested from that acre an
extraordinary good crop OF rHtd50gas
Tie marked the large vegetables wrong
| font took them to the market, and dis
posed of them to good advantage
The liberal hearted proprietor of lag
cr beer saloon in Rutland, recently lost
his pockctbook, containing 5000. II was
found and returned by Young man. and
the gratitied Teuton tluS gave vent to
his delight: Bob. you is one honest
man. tells you what III Go: II shake
you for de lager"
In rccountlng the signs of rID times as
bearing upon the Adventist theory of the
earth'S destruction, ut The Concord IN. II.
church on recent Sunday evening. one
of the cheerful prophets of speedy ami
hilation affirmed THAT there were more
earthquakes during the last live Years
than during the preceding twenty-five
hundred years
"tllow me-" said an American host in
his most persuasive tones, TO "A friend
dining with him ALLOW me to help Won
to piece of Washington pie" Sir"
replied the gentleman, oratoricallv wav-
ing his napkin, George Washington was
the first in war, first in peace and first in
the hearts Of his cauntrymon I admire
him for his purity, his riety and his ra-
triotism, but detest his pies"
\ servant girl who had been admonsh-
ed by her mistress to be very careful in
washing up" the best tea things, was
overheard shortly afterwards. in the back
kitchen. indulging in the following solio-
guy While in the act of wiping the sugar
basin: If was to drop this ere sugar
basin. and was to catch it, | s'pose |
| shouldn't catch it; but if was to drop it
and wasn't to catch ii, reckon | should
catch it,"
At recent lecture delivered before the
students Of the Cincinnati Medical Col
lege, DIR. Brewer gave very interest
ing account of how Prof Morse discover
ed that the use Of one wire was only nee
essary in tclegraphing. Prot Morsc's
first line, according to the doctor, CON
sisted of two parallel wires, six feet apart.
but after severe storm, in which one OF
the wires was blown down and broken.
he found that he could send messages as
well rs before, ut which he was greatly
astonishcd. On going to the break he
discovered that each part of the broken
wire was dropped into the soft wet earth.
Every Englishman has his joke about
the new open postal cards. Punch has u
cut representing venerable hndlady
reading in amaZement one of the new,
open letters addressed to her loilpcr with
this inscriptions "Marlhro House.-Dcar
Joe: Look in to tea and shrinlps on your
way home tonight We're ah alone. and
the Princess and the young ones'll be de-
lighted. Yours ever, Albert Edward"
well if ever did! I'd no idea An I
was just goin to give the poor. dear young
fellow bit o my mind about his rent"
N. B-The stratagem was successful.