The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-07-02
H,x,s 10 AN,sKNEyr GoERs.

HINTS 10 AMUSEMENT GoERs.-
The following rules which have been
steadily pursued by q considerable num-
Der of the patrons of amusements, we
propose to publish as a sort Of code OF
good manners. 1t may be Of some
service to those who have adopted them
or are likely to do so:
If you are little behind time after
the commencement of the play or con-
cert, be sure to stamp your way as
loudly as possible as you pass along
the aisles. 1t announces the approach
of a distinguished q stranger, and in
dicates the late purchase Of b new pair
of cowhide boots. There is a method
of walking lightly which is always an
apology for unavoidable noise, but do
not adopt that, it is vulgar.
Having taken seat, after standing
long enough to assure the audience that
all Of you is there, and shutting out a
view of the stage from one or two per-
sons for ten or fifteen rows deep behind
you; don't forget to get up again soon,
and stumble out in few moments.
If you wish to take any refreshment,
60 out in this way, between every song
or act,-the best time, Of course, being
Tin order to secure the benediction OF
your neighbors on your in-going or out
going or never coming back short
time before the curtain drops and come
in little after it has been rung up. By
this means you get all the benefit Of the
benzine, and they,-very little if any
"of the benefit of the act.
After taking or resuming your seat,
expectorate freely about a half pint OF
nicotine distilled from fine cut in the
aisle. 1t prevents moths and reaches
from attacking you in the summer
months, and is q wonderful tint for i'm
proving the skirts of ladies' dresses
As the entertainment progresses, this
incessant correction Of the drOuthy con-
dition of ones clay will gradually work
itself into a hod full of soft bricks in
the head, and will also expand your
wisdom, and improve both your gram
mar and elocution. Then, in loud
whispers, criticise the performance and
performers. By this means, persons
that cannot read or write, or don't wish
to, become in time very original think
ers and teachers.
Tilt your armchair back lis far as
possible, and place Your boot firmly on
the seat OF the chair before you, insert
ing the toes we'll through the rung OF
the chair, on the coat tail of the
stranger occupying it, whom of course
YOU may always regard as a stranger.
/ By the first movement you will give the
sitter behind you the full aroma OF the
CONNECTION ofcastor oil, and cinnamon,
with which you have toned down your
shock of red hair-and by the last, the
toe movement, perhaps You may be
able to transplant one of your Seeding
corns that may bloom in time into a
carbuncle on the end of the back bone
of the intruding stranger aforesaid.
| During the fitting back position CLASP
both hands on the back of the head,
resting your elbows on the shoulders Of
those on either side Of you 1t is very
graceful, besides shutting ont a
view Of the stage from two or three
more behind you; if You keep your own
eyes on the ceiling at the time you arc
announcing your critique, it gives q
very wonderful effect to the originality
we speak Of
Finally, as you are IL citizen Of free
country, don't forget any Of the above
rules, for YOU know better than any
body, that the sum of fifty or seventy
five cents gives you letters patent (ridc
Const L. S, amendn't 1Sth) to do as
you please, and a perfect right to dis
turb all or one-third of the audience, u:
most convenient. Never, then, be SC
base as to forget your inalicnahlc rights
and die agentleman.