Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-12-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A R1srNa MAN-The balloonist.
THR DARK A Es"-Ladies' ages.
THE cobbler has sole purpose in life.
A SURE way to make an impression
Fall down in the mud.
A DOCTORS motto is supposed to be "pa-
tients and long suffering"
"A YOUNG lady of Boston counted among
her wedding presents, recently, eleven pie
knives.
MY first is equality, my second is in
feriority, and my whole is superiority.
Peerless.
NEARLY every considerable city in
Europe has charitable Home for Con-
sumptives."
A THANKSGIVING turkey in Syracuse
got away and made an ugly hole through
$3.50 pane of glass
SOME wit has discovered that the "em-
bers of the dying year. are September,
November and December.
DEATH is the great persuader, and
works more successfully than all the other
agents of the Washington Life.
"MA," said Fred, IL should rather be
wild turkey, and live my life out on the
prairies, than be tame turkey and be killed
every year."
A NEW HAVEN couple, recently cele-
brating their golden wedding, exhibited
piece Of cake reserved from their marriage
ceremony fifty years ago
A KANSAS CITY artist committed suicide
the other day because he could not pay his
tailor. The tailor wants to know how that
helped matters.
The anatomist who has discovered a
new muscle in the human body has taken
out patent, and no one can use the muscle
without paying royalty.
THE Mutual Life Insurance Company
of Chicago is a tavorite with the insuring
public 1t is one Of the few companies
which show good increase during the
past year.
A RApTURED writer inquiries: "What
| is there under heaven more humanizing, or
! if we may use the term, more angelizing,
than fine black eye in a lovely woman
Two black eyes, is the ready answer.
A PERSIAN philosopher being asked by
what method he had acquired so much
knowledge, answered, "By not being pre-
vented by shame from asking questions
when was ignorant"
THOMPSON is not going to do anything
more i'm conundrums. He recently asked
| his wife the difference between his head
and q hogshead, and she said there was
none. He says that is net the right answer
Two men have been sentenced to four
months imprisonment and hard labor for
obtaining money from weak minded per
sons in London toward paying Oft the ma
tional debt of England.
"JoHN," said a father to his son one day
when he caught him shaving the down"
off his upper lip, don't throw your shaw
| ing -water out where there are any bare
footed boys, for they might get their feet
| prickcd."
"WHAr is the difference between sixty
minutes and my youngest sistcr?' asked
precocious boy of his grave uncle. 81 don't
| know; what Is it?" was the uncle's reply.
"Why, ones an hour, and the others our
Ann" was the stunning explanation.
NuRsE-'I cannot allow butter and jam,
too, on your bread, Master Alfred. 1t is
very extravagant" Master Alfred--"It cant
be extravagant, Mary, If the same piece OF
bread does for both"
| SOME idea Of the enormous facilities az
forded for locomotfbn by the railways en-
tering London is given by statement
which shows an average Of about fifty'four
| trains per hour, or nearly one per minute,
during the whole twenty four hours OF the
day.
A NEW ticket printing machine, which
has lust been patented in England and
Prussia prints railway tickets on both
sides, perforates them, and numbers them
consecutively by one process, and does all
this at the rate Of 200 and 800 q minute.
THE American Tract Society, of Bos.
ton, Mass, have made a grant OF 5000
copies of their magazine, the Sabbath at
Hmm; to &c tifiistributud among the United
| States troops at the forts and stations OF
the army in the far West, for winter read
ing.
ONR Maine editor has sued another
Maine editor for defamation Of character,
and the defense is understood to be that,
in the first place, the plaintiff had no
character to speak of, and that, even If he
had, nothing the defendant could say
would injure anybody
A FOUR hundred dollar doll is novelty
in the New York market, whereupon the
Erpress, Of that city, asks: Can we
wonder that genuine, fesh-and blood
bellies outfit for an evening may be made
| to reach the value of a small fortune, when
human ingenuity and extravaganza have
united to dress doll to the actual value
| Of $4O0Y"
THE Chinese division of human life Is in.
teresting. The age Of 10 is called the
opening degree; 20, youth expired; ~,
strength and marriage; 40. officially apt |;
| 80, error, knowing; CO. cycle closing; 20,
rare bird of age; so, rusty visage; 80, de.
| layed; 100 ages extremity. Flourens'
division is moro scientific; ITO years, in
fancy; 1920, adolescence; 20-3O, first
youth; 3O-40, second youth; 4O.D, first
manhood; 55-70, second manhood 7O-05,
first old age; $500 second and last old
age.