Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-03-17
LacNniC Letters.


Laconic epistles are naturally suggested
by quaint and pithy ones The name Dor
set reminds me of an amusing correspon-
dence between two noble lords the date
of which ! am unable to specify somewhat
in the following terms:
My dear Dorset I have Just been mar
ried, and am the happiest dog alive,
(SignedD BERKELEY.
Answer
My Dear Berkeley Every dog has his
day (Signed) DORSET
Perhaps ought to state that my author.
ity for this correspondence is a bachelor of
more han seventy Summers
From the same source | have received
several other good examples of laoonic let
ters, some of which | shall here introduce:
"A Husband to his Wife on sailing sud
denly for North America.
Ny dear Wife, am going to North
America Your atfectionate husband
To which she thus replied -
My dear Hushand--i wish you happy
voyage. Your affectiouate wife.
A young man when Mt college addressed
his uncle, ON whose hberaIity he entirely
depended, as follows:
My dear Uncle Ready for the needful
Your affectionate nephew.
To which the uncle replied
My dear Nephew The needful is not
ready Your affectiouate uncle
Mr.. James Sihhald, editor of tho "Chron-
icles of Scottish Poetry" was q man of
eccentricity aud humor. For three or four
years he resided in London, without let
ting his Scotch friends know anything of
his proceedings, or even whore be lived
At last his brother Leith merchant
found means to get letter conveyed to
him. the object of which was to inquire in
to his circumstances and to ask where he
resided. Sibbald sent the following laco-
mic reply;
Dear Brother, I live in Soho, and my
business is $3.50. Yours,
JAMES SInpALp,
In the second series of his recent and
most interesting work, entitled "Half-hours
with the best Letter writers and Autobiog-
rapherS," Mr. Charles Knight gives an
amusing example of laconic correspondence
between Samuel Foote, the Aristophanes OF
his day, and his unfortunate mother:
Dear Sam, I am III prison Tor debt
come and assist your loving mother,
f. FooTE
Reply
Dear Mother, So am |, which prevents
his duty being paid to his loving mother
by her afectionate son. SAM FooTE.
lately met with curious account of a
courtsbip on the other side of the Atlantic,
n. the end of the seventeenth century in
which very brief epistle holds promi-
nent place. In $685. the Rev. Stephen Mix
made journey to Northampton in search
of wife. He arrived at the Rev. Solo
mon Stod6ard's. and informed him of the
object of his visit. Mr.. Stoddard introduced
him to his six daughters, and then retired,
Addressing Mary, the eldest, Mr. Mix said
that he had lately settled at Wethers6eld,
was desirious Of obtaining wife, and con-
Guided by offering his heart and hand, The
blushing damsel replied that so important
q proposal required time for consideration
and accordingly Mr.. Mix left the room in
order to smoke pipe with her father, while
she took the case to "avizandum." On her
answer being sent for, she requested fur
Their time for consideration, and it was
agreed that she should her answer by letter
to Wethersfsld. In the course of few
weeks Mr. Mix received her reply, which
was soon followed by the wedding
NORTHAMPTON, Sd Nov. 1893.
Rev. Stephen Mix, Yes.
MARY SToppARD.
A few years before the death of the Duke
of Wellington, captain in n certain regi-
ment of heavy Dragons, which had been
ordered to the Cape, applied to his Grace,
as commander ip-chief, TOR permission to
negotiate transfer to another corps. The
Duke merely turned up the corner of the
letter, and wrote the three significant
words. "Sail, or sell" and sent it back to
the unfortunate writer
According to Punch, Sir Charles Napier's
dispatch to the authorities, announcing the
capture Of Scinda, was cleverly expressed
in single Latin word-to W.T., 'peccdui'
q have sinn'd)
In reply to touching letter from lady,
announcing the death of her husband, Tai
leyrand simply wrote; "Heas! Madame"
Not very long afterwards, the same lady
wrote to inform him that she had married
another husband, an officer in the army
for whose promotion she urgently pleaded
On this occasion the statesman's reply was
as brief as before: "Ho, no Madame ~.
iaetons Gossip about LsttrS and Letter.
Writer'S.