The Van Buren press., 1870-11-15

brought up IN idleness. Ihg.e who con.
stitute tho business part Of the community
who make our great and useful men
we're taught in their boyhool to be indus
srious. Boy, take shst pipe out OF you
mouth aud think of this.
1umheldt was mistaken in saying thar
"old letters lose their vitality neatl,
every breach OF promise case shows what
extremely lively things old letters some
times are.
IL ia,.aid.tha, the juice Of one lem
Oh a day. taken in water, will cure tn
most obstinate case Of neuralgia No 81
gar should be taken, as it has trndsnc,
to eounteract. the effects of lemon juice.
- 1t was Dow. Jr, who statel that
the surora boreals was occssiopsd by the
npseiting Of dyepota Of glory ani he leak
ing their gorgeous contents through the
hrmament.
----- II ses the villisn in youie face. -
said Western Judge to an Irish prisoner
May it please your worship replied the
prisouer, that mus! be personal redsc-
ton"
"A practical Yankee. being told
ths, III the days Of the millennium the lion
and the lamb would lie down together.
ssid he expeetsd the lamb would lie
down inside the lion"
- Does smosquiio draw his bill at
sigh. when he draws it IN the dArkf
~--- \ Massachusetts, clergyman. who
on exchange preached II q brothers pul pit.
found upon opening the bible note, which
upon being opener, read that Brother -
requested the prayers OF the church that
the loss Of his wife might be blessed to
him. etc. The preacher prayed most fer.
vcntly. To his amazement aul moititlca-
tion he found that the note had lain in the
bible year, while the beresved gentleman
was. on this Sabbath, sitting with new
wits in the congregation.
- Young ladies. always give precc-
donce to age, and never 60 to the washtuh
il your mother or grand mother is present
shey might consider it disrespec.ful.
-" I've been a mem Der OF this church
nigh on to forty years said pinched up
libel on Christianity. and it hasn tcosl
me six and quarter cents cd bless
your poor, economical, 'withered-up old
soul (" said a tervsnt brother in tho corner,
---- A celebrated wit was asked il he
knew Thsodors Hook Yes" he replied,
Hook aud eye are old sssociatrs."
-" | came near selling my boots the
other day." said Scuttle to friend. How
so?' Well. had them half solsd.'
WHY does a young man only give
lady's hand q gentle squeeze BE ause
honesty can never give sgnp like vice.
- Thres things that never agres--
Two cats over one mouse (; two wives in
house. and two lovers after one young lady
The hardest thing to hold in this
world is an unru!y tongue. i, beats Ia,
smoothing iron and kicking horse consid-
srab!y.
A FACT IL duck ran ont Of village
doctors shop, the other day, crying.
"Quack qasek quack "
- A miserable wretch Of an oil bschc.
lor observes that he look, under the mar.
riage hssi for the news of tho weak
-" SO. you say walking sticks came
into use very long ago o. Not a doubt
ct II; don't We read that Adam had n
Cain 2"
-"Poor Lucirda took that circum.
stance very much to heart" Ibid she in.
deed The dear grill wish ! wao that,
cireulnstanee."
-A good conscencs ia to the soul
what health is to the body.
Employment is TO man what oil il
to machinery, it makes the wheels Of ex-
istence run smoothly.
- Mover are human beings smaller
than when they want to plague and punish
without knowing how.
- A smile is ever the m ost brgh. and
beautiful with tc.r upon it, What lie the
dawn without it's dew.
"A Great man complisi,es least in
an age Of power, as burning glasses bum
tscblsst ia tho hotties, days.
Manly spirit. as it is generally
called. is often little else than the .,oih
and foam Of hard -moutbcd insolsncc.
--If Death shonld cheat us out of onr
pleasant recolcctions Ia !,ie, we should
scsrcaly know ourselves in eternity.
THE cloudy weather melts a, lcng h
into beauty, ami the brightest suies ., the
hcsrt are b0ru OF ih tears.
-- Tie falIis Of the world can only be
learned by long acqusintsncs with II, end
by ss6ssiss frsm the ssquaintance.
- The msst beautiful may be the m ost
J limirsd and esressed, bnt thsy ere not 81.