New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-12-11


And that moral I've carefully shown
You should never look out, if in want OF a wife
For wife with a viii Of her ownl
At A PICNIC.
By FORLoRN HOPE.
1t was at a picnic, one of those delightful
summer affairs, when young and old &C
forth in search Of pleasure, hoping to forget
care, leaving the heat and dust and turmoil
Of the town to seek the cool, balmy breeze
that dallies in the shade of the trees, where
idleness reigns- goddess of the scene. and
love Turks in ambush, Sharing alike the wise
and the foolish.
"Say rather" hear some misanthropie
old bachelor exclaim, tone of the inventions
of Satan to delude quiet, sensible people
into making fools of themselves; where
sague, not love, is ever ready to catch I'M
: suspecting mortals deluded into seeking
rest where there can be none: where sense
aud wit are Mt a discount, and the vaporings
of some graduated Ounce the current coin.
Bah the very word is nauseating."
CROcum a droit a SON opinion, Mr.. Bache-
lOr, and no doubt, could become the jaun-
diced, enviOus creature you must be,
should should share in your opinion; but
being happy Benedict, and owing it all to
a picnic, it becomes impossible for me to
see through your spectacles, and l must
always maintain that picnics are delightful
affairs.
Though, truth to tell, came very near be-
coming convert to your doctrine on that par
ticulsr june morning. when everybody who
was anybody in the pretty town Of W,
Z had rendexy0used in the magnificent woods
that skirted the town, and l, Benjamin
Hawthorne, A No. on the subject of eligi-
bility, had not been slow in reaching the
. a<o1 & to ,vv, 8
laughing blue eyes that added tenf6ld to
the beauty of Miss Maud Richards, only
daughter of DR.. Richards, with whom was
eudcavOiing to fathOm the study of Escula-
Plus, and may here add that 1 proved far
less apt in the good doctors lessons than in
the love taught by the blue eyes aforesaid,
and ON that particular morning the learned
lectures on the sudden and irregular actions
of the heart were illustrated i'll prOpri0 per-
soma, as stood face to face with Miss Rich
ards, for was, and am still most bashful
man.
Miss Richards held out the tips of her
rdainty-glOved fingers to me as approached,
and said: 81 was dreadfully afraid, Mr..
Hawthorne, papa would keep you locked up
in that dull study, shutting you out from
one of the brightest days we have had yet. y
This she uttered in such charming way
that it sent the blood galloping to my face,
and conscious of looking my very worst,
~blurted out some commonplace fact in lieu of
enc of those pretty ,bewildering compliments
that is sure to please the most sensible of
women, and in which Jack Denning, on
whose arm Miss Richards leaned, was such
an adept.
Jack and were rivals, but the advantage
lay with him. We were both fine-lOOking
young fellows with fair share of brains.
but Jack had a quick, ready servant in that
useful member yclept the tongue, and was
bound to make his way in the world,
whereas l had but limited means, and my
tongue was a sluggard, refusing its services
when most they were required.
bad to worse; Jack monOpOlized Miss
Richards attention to such a degree, that
out of sheer desperation l left them, and
sauntered into the woods. My state of
mind was not enviable. cursed the fates
that had made me so difident, and yet had
not given me heart and brain enough keenly
to appreciate my plumbers. l heartily
wished the gift was given us to change our
selves as we most desired. There was Jack
Denning-
The thought was scarcely born ere felt a
heavy pressure on my brain. and felt that
was descending rapidly into the earth.
Thought was impossible during the time
the descent lasted, so great was the speed,
until found myself once more on firm
4
knowledge Of geography totally failed to in
form me. That it was dark could feel, for
it was feeling similar to that experienced
in moving through water, and not conveyed
by the optic nerve, for l could distinguish
surrounding objects.
1 stood in the centre Of what seemed to
be cross between blacksmith's shop and
corn-grinding establishment, yet was not
exactly like either. While debated the
probabilities, / was startled by the appear
ance of a little shEiveled-up old man or
dwarf, scarce four feet high, who stood grin
ming before me, as benignantly as his dis
tOrted features would allow Of such an ex-
preston.
"Can we do ANYTHING for you this morn
ing, sir r he asked, rubbing his hands in
expectation of job.
!Why, really, hardly think you can, for
/ came here without any v0litiOn of my own,
and, I may add, without any DESIRE re-
piled.
''Not a bit of it, not a bit of it !! you came
here because you were wishing you could be
like Jack Denning now, weren't you p
"HOw the deuce do you Know that = l
exclaimed startled to hear this dwarf speak
my thoughts as if they were his own.
THAT is my business, and yours is to get
your wishes. just say the word, and
through the mill you go. and you will be
astonished at the resule."
'sNO doubt, my friend. l replied obviously;
shut how am to know that I'll come out
at all p
physically you will not be disturbed
The process simply is mental. Say, shall
begin !"
And in spite of myself gave the required
nod.
Before fully realized what had done,
felt an indescribable wrenching and crunch
ing; then was again myself-nO, not my
self, but somebody entirely different.
"How do you feel now :" said the friendly
dwarf.
1--WE got a stock of impudence that viii
carry me through fire and water. l feel
could stand battery Of feminine eyes
without wincing: Much obliged to you
and if can do anything in the way of casl
to oblige you, I'll be most happy.
While spoke knew Jack Denning him
self could not be more patronizingly mag
uttered the words was casting about t.
find q ready means Of escape, should tho
dwarf take me at my word.
"YOu are the cleverest fellow l know
pom honor" l continued. ~ shall remain
your debtor for life"
81 don't doubt that" said my benefactor
1t was astonishing how deaf | could be
other development in my resemblance t,
1.Sorrv T. lenye You so soon, but you ar,
right: fke EiendlN have left in the wood
will become anxious at my prolonged alb
sence. Much as shall regret parting from
Won. / must take your advice, and return.
The accent was as rapid rs had been thu
descent, and gave no time for self congratu
iations, but no sooner was again on terri
1frma than recovered my equanimity, AM
.cxclaimed, sBrass Is an excellent com
modify, Benjamin, my boy It paeses ca,