The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-07-15
Iowa PLAIN DEALER.

IOWA ILAlN7 DEALER.
Hard to beat--Carpets. "A
Generally Speakias--Women.
Sisters Of charity--faith and hope.
Not 4 miss--a rich and lovely Wild
ow.
In altar-ed circumst ances- Ben
edict.
A faveri.e air with the ladies'
millionaire.
The Beat Drawing Lesson-Draw-
ing = salary.
Years do not make sagcs; they on
" make old men.
Another favoritc air Of the ladies
the first heir.
Why Is = leaky barrel like = cow
ard? Because it runs.
Flowers that are always falling off
Bachelors buttons.
Ofice-holder believe In almost any
turn but turnout.
Galloping eonsumption--dinncr At
railroad restaurant.
Tie prime-evil forest was situated
in the Garden Of Eden.
The Indian custom Of lifting hair
is an unpopular form Of Barbcrism.
Contentment--to sit in the house
and see other people stuck IN the mud.
Why is tight shoe like 6ne sum-
mer weather. Because it makes the
corn grow. -.
To. cure bachelors aches--carry
to the patient eleven yards Of silk,
with lady in it.
II you have a scolding wife, trust
t9time; old age might bring you the
blessing Of deafness.
Why are indolent persons beds
too short for them? Because they arc
too long in them.
Now let US have those free baths
right sway, for it's-soap deferred
that maketl, the heart sick.
The best illustrated work abou,
this time is the volume Of nature. 1t
is pretty nearly wide open.
A man who sat upon paper of car.
pet nails the other day, said they re-
minded him Of the in come tacks.
If Greece doesn't look out for hel
brigands, there won't be Greece.
spot left on the map Of Europe long.
4 vinegar-hearted old bachelor say.
he always looks under tho head q
marriages" for the news Of tn.
a0eak.
Ono sort of jugglery elevates ani
pleases; and another sort Of jug-ler,
also cleyates, but in quite differ
eat way.
A sentimental youth says he pro
fers hanging on the neck to hangin,
by, the neck, but that both are dan
gerous.
An Ohio widower wears Eve weed
on his hat--for US many wives. Ism
this rather crowding the mourners?
How is it that butchers often hay
the propensities of betting men
Because they are frequently holdinI
steaks.
A country girl speaking Of dane
she had attended. said: ..The dane
ing was Eothin', but the Luggin' wa
heavenly"
A Buffalo commercial editor, i
his list of imports, notices the arr
val Of another hand-organ, with
soldier attached.
Zach Chandler says he both like
and fears Kentucky. He means b
this that he likes her whiskey an
fears her henp.
The ola-f.shioned, hut sensible
gingham sun bonnet will be all til
90 this summer, at tho fashionab III
watsring-plaees.
What is the difference between
blind man, and sailor in prison
One cant see to 60, and the othe
cant 60 to sea.
A fashion paper speaks Of 18th
Coming Bonaet. Well. let it coul
for there have been no bonnets
speak Of for years.
He is happy whose circumstance
suit his temper; but be is moro 81
sellent who can suit bis temper {
any circumstances.
Professional rivalry produced til
ill-natured inscription for the toml
stone Of Western editor, ..Her
lies m editor
Young gentlemen who would sue
ceed in life, should WOO gently |
is not fashionable for young ladies t
take ardent spirits.
A Boston paper declares Boston t
be the paradise Of the organ-grinders
. that all our organ-grinders Nigh
speedily enter paradise!
There Il this in favor of marriap