The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-08-25
Scissorinotum.

obliged to sit betweentwo girls at school.
Perhaps the best definition of the brink
of ruin is the brink of the goblet.
To cure corns, hold your feet to the ere
until the corns pop. This will cure every
pop.
Tho Camanche Indians don't like the
negro troops employed on the Texan from
tier. 1t is'too much trouble to scalp them.
A paper out west has this motto: "Good |
will to all men who pay promptly. De-
voted to news and making money"
ga man can't help what is done behind !
his back" as the scamp said when he was
kicked out of doors.
The reason there are SO many mutton
heads in existence is, because so many
children are "porfect little lambs"
The fences of graveyard in Ponnsyl-
vania bear an inscription in large letters
"Use Jones' bottled ale if you would keep
out of here"
Josh Billings says, "hunting after fame
il like hunting after heas--hard to ketch
and sure to make you Uneasy if you do Or
don't ketch him"
An exchange has heard of hen which
was found after three weeks search, in
back of a hardware store, vainly endeav-
oring to hatch out dozen porcelain door
knobs.
"Patriok, will you have your steak rare
or we'll done 2" "Well done, if yer PLACE,
for it was rare enough [ got it in the ould
country"
When q mans heart ossifes, or tulust to
bone, he dies at once; but when it petri-
fies, or turns to stone, he invariably lives
too long for any useful purpose.
A woman is Wisconsin says that when
her husband is little drunk he kicks her;
when he is very drunk she kicks him; and
she further adds that she does most of
the kicking.
A negro boy in Columbus rashly went
in bathing the other day and was drowned.
His mother said sit served him right for
taking new-fangled notions. He never
was washed befo'."
A veteran was relating his exploits to a
crowd of boys, and mentioned having been
in five engagements. "That's nothing
broke in little fellow; ''my sister Sa-
rah has been engaged seven times"
A lady asked her little girl, on return.
ing from church, if she remembered the
text. ooh yes" said she, sit was this
The Ladies' Sewing Society will meet al
Mrs. Smiths house on Monday evenin!
next"
A countryman in a Detroit factory bel
the engineer that he could catch the fly
wheel and hold it. He seized it, and wa
picked up from pile of bricks outside o
the building, with a window sash for I
neck-tie. ..
A Nashua, N. H., Irishman, while be
ing lowered into a deep we'll for cleanin!
f purposes the other day, became frighten
ed and called out, "Let me up Or Fll Gu
the rope"
Bridget, what have you done with tn,
cream These children cannot eat skin
milk for their breakfast" "Sare, ma'am
it isn't meself that would be after givin!
the SCUM to yer cbilders. took it Of
and gave it to the cats"
A sportive young lady says: "If tn,
course of true love don't run smooth, WI,
, don't they water it and roll it regularly
so man hours day, until they get it S,
smooth donkey can run on it?'
Bachelors are always Dragging of thei
: freedom-freedom to darn their owl
stockings and poultice their own shins
I'd rather be widower once in two year,
regular, than to be grunting, old hair
, dyed bachelor.
, AT a public sale of books in London
"Drew's Essay on Souls was knocked
down to a shoemaker, who, to the grea
amusement of the bystanders, asked tn
auctioneer if he had any more books O.
shpemaking to sell.
: A witness In divorce suit kept say
ing that the wife had a retaliatin9 dispo
sitiOn-tbat she retaliated for everything
, no matter how triAing. ''Did you eve
see her husband kiss her?" eyes, often
Well, what did she do then p 'She re
taliated."
A clergyman desired his clerk to Civ
, notice that there would be no service i
the afternoon, as he was going to oficiat
for clerical brother in the vicinity. In
: mediately after the service, the cler
! called out, 81 an desired to give motto
, that there will be no service this afta,
, noon, IS DR.. b. is going fishing with an
other clergyman"
Some time since a gentleman died wht
during life, refused to believe in any fy
ture punishment. Two or three weeE
9 after his death his wife received through
medium communication which read {
follows: Dear wife, I now believe. Sen
] me my thin clothes and barrel of il
water"