The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1870-02-24
HARP SERn0N.
BY A DISTINGUISHED HARD-SHELL RAITIsy
PREACHER.

| @ l' ~
| Ny Beloved Brethering: '"' ~ ~
| My text, which I shall choose for the CO.
casion, is in the leaves of that big and the
good book, somewhere between the secon
Chronikils and the last chapter of Timothy
Titus, Sisters, you won't find it in the songs
Of that great and wise man Solomon, 60 ! you
needn't look, } but when you do find it, you vi
find it in these words: '.For they shall knaw
a file and flee un the mountains of Hepsi.
dam, where the lion roareth and tho wang
doodle mourneth for his frst-horn." 'N'''s
My children. rejoice with you all, and
most especially with the sisters, that your
beloved Pastor is again permitted to stand
before you. restored to health and happiness
hale and hearty as two year-eld. And why do
[ rejoice more on the sisters account than
upon the brothers would merely say that
most of the sisters, that is the good looking
ones, will understand why (; and it is only ne-
knaw file and fec unto the mountains of
Hepsdan, where the lion roarcth and the
wang doodle mourneth for his first born."
How like angels did they seem, as thay
moved noiselessly, in the dim light of a
tallow dip. across my chamber floor or
smoothed the pillow for my fcverish, aching
head. Oh! how many times did they call
back to memory my sthlnry Ann but who,
long yoars since. became a back slider aud
the companion Of the fellow who "plays on
harp ola thousand strings" and went with
him to live where the spirits Of just men, and
suppose women too. are made perfect But
let me tell you my hearers they will have
hard time making her perfect For they
shall knaw file and fee unto the mountains
of Hepsidam, where the lion roareth and the
wang doodle mourneth for his first born"
4 NV beloved brcthering, the text says they
shall knaw file. 1t does not say they may,
but shall. Now, there is more than one kind
of fle There's the hand saw file, the rat tail
file, and single file and double file, and profile;
but the kind of file spoken of here isn't one'of
them kind, nather, bekaws it is a figure of
sneech and means goin' it alone and gettin'
ukered For they shall knaw flr, and Gee
unto the mountains of Hepsidam, where tho
lion roareth and the wang doodle mourneth
for his first born"--ah! .yii4i.{uis sdf
And there be some here that with fine
close on their backs, brass rings on their fl.
gers. and lard on their har, what goes it while
they're yung; aud thar be others here what,
as long as thar copstithoshins and forty cent
whiskey last, goes it blind. Thar be sisters
here what, when they gets sixteen years old,
cut thar tillar ropes and goes it with rush.
But say, my dear brcthering, take care you
don't find, when Gabriel blows his horn, your
hands played out, and you're ukered-ahl
For they shall knaw file, and fee unto the
mountains of Hcrsidam, whore the wang doc.
die mourneth for his first born"
Now, my brethering, ''they shall fee unto
the mountains of Hepsidam !" but thar's
more dams than Hepsidam. Thar's Rottcs-
dam, Haddam, Amsterdam, and Don't care
dam"-and the last Of which, my brethc-
ring, is the worst of all, and reminds me Of
circumstans I onst knowed in theaState of H.
lenoy. There was man what built him mill
on the north fork of Ager Crck, snd it was
good mill and ground site of grain; but
the man what built it was miserable sinner,
and never gave anything to the church; and,
my dear brethering, one night there came
dreadful storm of wind and rain, and the
| mountains of the great deep was broken up,
and the waters rushed down and swept that
| man s mill dam to kingdom cum, aud when
he woke np he found he wasn't worth dam
-ah! "For they shall knaw u file, aud ice
unto the mountains of Hepsiaam, where the
lion roareth and the wang doodle mourneth
for his first born"-ah
Now, where the lion roareth and the wang
doodle mourneth for his first born a-ah
This part of my text my beseeching brethe-
rim /, is not to be taken as the text says It
dom. mean the bowling wilderness whar
John. The Hard shell Baptist fed on looaacs
and wild asses, but 1t means my brethering.
| the city of----3the' mother harlots aud
| hardlots, whar corn is worth six bits one day,
| and narJfa red the next wharniggersi are as
| thick as black bugs in split bacon, ham, and
gamblers, thieves aud pick pockets goes
/ sneakiug about the streets like weaselso in a
] barniyart where honest men arc scaroer than
heu's teeth and strange woman once took
in your beluyed teachers and hamboozled him
out of Two hundred and twenty seven dollars
| in the twihkling of a Sleeps tail; But sho
csn't do it again! otiatlaIujah !aisiFor
they shall KIN: n. a 6ie,I nd q Q into the noun,
/ Of Hepsdam, where the lion roareths and the
wang doodle mourneth for his first born.a
I Ny bretherins Jam captain of that boa.
I youasec tied up thar, and have got abaard Of
| her -four, bacon, taters, aud as good AIonon.
4 sehalal whiskey as ever was drunk aand an
mighty Ugh y apt to get q big price for, them ali
but what, my dear bretheripg, would il al
4 be with If .ha dn't got religion 2 Thar
nothing like religion, my hrethering !; it i be.
4 teraaor silver or gold gimcracks; you cam II,
more get to heaven without it., than. q iav
!, ,bird, eau fly without a tail---ah Thank III,
! Lord! Tn an onedicated m man, my brx,ha
= bring hu, I'ye hsen sarshipo tie .s,i,,, :
trfl} all IN ri. "a r. t.re ~, -.