The Greenville enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1870-1873, 1870-05-25
VOLUME XVII--NO. /.
TIE premium lazy man does all
his reading in the autumn, be-
canse the seasnn tnrns the leaves.

ing extent in Collin and adjoining
counties, in Texas. -. =
In pocket picking, az in almost
everything else, q man never sue
ceeds until he gets his hand in.
Why is the first chicken of 0
brood like a foremast 2-Because
il is just before the main hatch.
Way is the earth like q black.
board2 Because the children of.
men multiply upon the face of it.
The University of Naples has
been closed, owing to the disorder
ly conduct of the Students.
OLIVER WxsDRLL HOLMES says
that aRidows who cry easy are first
Efo MARRY again. There is nothirg
Ike wet weather for transplanting,
:AIanesr any young lady has pub.
nc spirit enough to be willing to
have her fathers house used for q
court house. ~ n ~ 80.
AN editor of a paper in, Indiana
wants to know if modern whisky
was ever seen "comin' through
the ryeg" q. .....f, -. ~ -
Why is q man who runs away
without paying his rent like an
army officers Because he's a left
tenant. ~. .''.
Why does being under a stone
bridge make the most stupid fell
low a bit Of wag 9-Becanse then
he has an arch way about him.
WHEN is drunkard's nose like
lighthouse 2-When it warns
others off the coast of Madeira and
Holland. ' ~. e.. .t:..,',.;
SIX men, most of them convict
ed OF petty larcenies, were whip.
ped in the Jail yard, at New Cas-
tie, Delaware, on the 14th. e..
A WESTERN editor offers q
church and graveyard as a prem.
ium for the largest club of sub
scribers.
AN old lady who was asked
what she thought of the eclipse,
replied: "WclI, it proved one thing
that the papers don't always tell
lies"
.TnE Postmaster General says if
the bill abolishing tho franking
privileges is passed, he will be
able to reduce letter postage from
three to two cents per half ounce.
A LoAFER left his wife in rage.
telling her that he would never
come back until he was rich enough
to come in carriage. He returned
the same evening in a wheel
barrow.
"sPEAKNa Of shaving" said a
pretty girl to an obdnrate old
bachelor. /" should think that a
pair of handsome eyes would be the
best mirror to shave by" Yes:
many poor fellow has been
shaved by thenl," the wretch re.
piled. -.-. .-.s.e., = -.
AN editor lately announced an
increase in his family, and in his
jollihcation over the event, pro-
pounded the following conundrnm
What is the dir erence between
editorial and matrimonial expert
ence2 In the former, the devil
cries for copy ; in the latter, the
copy, cries like the devil -
Coon RuLEs.-A good man oncs
said: The longer ! live, the impor-
tance OF adhering to the following
rules, which / laid down myself IN
relation to such matters, are moro
manifest:
l. To hear rs little as possible
of what is to the prejudice of 9th
ers. -. -.
Q. Believe nothing of the kind
until am absolutely forced to it.
3. Never drink in the spirit of
one who circulates an i'll report.
4. Always moderate as far as I
can, the unkinjness which ia ex.
pressed towards others.
8. Always to believe that if the
other side was heard, a very dif.
ferent account would be given.
| DANoNe.-It is well known that
the Methodist church .forbids dane
ing, bat it has been fondly hoped
by the younger members OF the
church, that at this General Confer.
ence, that part of the church dis
ciplino would be so altered and
amended, that this delightful
amusement would be allowed: but
the following, copied from the ad.
dress of the Bishops, docs not tend
much that way:
Indulgence in worldly and
fashionable diversions is another
great enemy of earnest piety, which
ID invading the church aud threat.
ening to estrange our children