davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19
I IFE INSURANCE

IL Taking the mortality in the thirty three
companies which did business in the State OF N.
York, for four years, (65, 66, 81, 6S,) as basis
Benefit COMPANY will be IS cents per week for
$1,000; SO cents per week for $500; it being
less than one-third the cost of insuring in any
other company in the United States.
AMOS DOUGLAS, Agent.
Middlebury, Vt. 16yl
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

A GENTS WANTED.-(SlO rrG pAr.)-
N by the AMERICAN KNITTING MACHINE Co,
Boston, Mass, or st. Louis, Mo 03,3m)
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19
AN APPETITE.

If one can't eat, to do his best,
If nothing nice the hunger rouse,
What gives him not moment rest
Till he's deyoured the widows houses
Q7;4w) DODDS Mex VINE
For sale by all Druggists. Price one dollar.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

Agentleman observing stranger stand.
ing on depot platform, said
Well, stranger, which way are YOU
travelling, sir-East ?'
No, sir"
West -
No, sir"
North" (gcrtng inpatient,
No, sir :"
Well, where in the devil are you 90.
ing you old 'mutton.head !"
Well, SIR said the stranger, IL am
como to preach at the brick church to.
night and try and convert two or three
old sinners like you.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19
w H DO N T. YOU Il II Y
Wells Carbolic Tablets

They are sure cure for Sore Throat, Coid, t6oap
Dahoid, CatdITh HodJstntsS; also q successful
remedy Jor kidnsy Difficulties. Price 81 cents per
box. Sent by mail on receipt of price, by J. q.
KELLOGG, "a Platt St, New York, sole agent
for N. Y. Sold by Druggists. (l0ws)
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

WANTED AGENTS-To sell the OC-
w TAaON SEWING MACHINE. 1t is h
cens,d makes the Elastic Lock Stitch" and Is
warranted for years. Price SIS. All other ina
chimes with an underfeed sold for SO or les. are
infringements. Address OcTAGoN SEWING MA
CHINE Co., st. Louis, Mo-, Chicago, ILL.,, Pitts
burgh, Pa, or Boston, Mass O3;3m)
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19
VIII At ARE,
They are not IA vile Fancy Drunk.

Made of poo, Rum, Whsksy, Proo( Spirits and
refuse Liquors, doctored, spiced and sweetened to
please the taste, called Tonics," " Restorers,"
"appetizers," SC, that lead the tippler on to
drunkenness and ruin, but are true Medicine,
made from the Native Roots and Herbs of Calfor-
nia free from, all Alcoholic Nimviants. They are
the GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER AND LIFE
GIVING PRINCIPLE, perfect Renoyator
and Invigorator of the System, carrying OH all
poisonous matter, and restoring the blood to
healthy condition. No person can take these Bit
ters according TO directions and remain long un-
well. slOO will be given for incurablc case,
provided the bones are not destroyed by mineral
poisons or other means. and the vital organs was
ted beyond the point of repair. }. WALKER,
Proprietor, X. II. MCDONALD CO., Druggists
and Gen. Agents, San Francisco, Cali and 81 and
and "a Commerce ST., N. \. SOLD BY ALL
DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. t'wD
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19


Nearly all the railroad tickets used
in this country are manufactured in Buff
falo.
Women telesrsphers or the rule in
Russia.
Lothair is the name of a new l.on.ion
street.
The geographers convene at Antwerp
in August.
Senator Norton OF Minnesota il very
low from consumption.
Colfax declines to speak iu the Ea~t
during the fall campaign, but will devote
al his time to Indiana.
Cincinnati is to have an industrial ex-
hibition, commencing Sept. 2l and con.
tinue till Ooct. Is.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

How INFANTS ARE EARNED oUr 70 DEATH
---PoIsoNEp At so Mucn PER HEAD -
REVELATION by THE LONDON PoIcE--
DE.b BODIES FoUND.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19
From the Buffalo Express
More Distinction.

| have received the following notice
The Western New York Poultry So.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

Subscribe for the Register.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-19

MARK TWAIN, ESQ. :-Sir-at recent
meeting Of the executive committee of the
Western New York Poultry Society you
were elected an honorary member of the
Society.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20
An Old Account.

A rough looking specimen of
tramping humanity was cruising
through Chatham street in New
York the other day, when he
came plumply upon a hook nosed
Jew, a specimen of his race about
which there could be no mistake,
Without a word of warning the
rough knocked him aprawling in,
to the gutter. Picking himself
up, and taking his claret faucet
between his thumb and finger be
demanded an explanation.
"Shut up, or I'll baste you
again." said the aggressor ap.
preaching him.
81 never done no tings NIT you.
unit what for you mash me in tel
nose 2" asked Abraham.
eyes, yer have, yer Jews cruci
fed Jesus Christ, and I've a mind
to 60 for You again"
"Put, mine Cot, dat vas eigh.
teen hundred years ago" said the
poor Jew.
"Wal, l don't care if it was, ]
only heard it last night" replied
the unwashed, again going for his
victim who wisely went a triAe
faster in the same direction.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A STORY OF A NosE.-The fol.
lowing remarkable anecdOte is go
ing the rounds of the western press:
"There resides in st. Joseph q
certain deacon whose nasal organ
is of unusually large dimensions
and bold curve. A few days ago
said deacon fell and pretty consid-
erably damaged the cutaneous con-
nection of the prominent feature
mentioned. Passing into a drug
store, he applied some plaster to
the wound. On the following
Sunday, while engaged in the
laudabIe occupation of passing
round the hat for stamps, the plas-
Ter fell off. The balance OF the
story is told in the following words
taken from the st. Joseph Gazette
of the 2Sth inst "While an unfor-
tunate sinner was feeling for a do
nation, the deacon made a hasty
dive for a small white object on
the carpet In the aisle, which he.
imagined was. the desired plaster
and speedily placed it on the end
OF his nasal organ. He bad scarce
ly done SO, however, when, to his
astonishment, several young la
dies seated in the pew before him
crowded their handkerchiefs into
their mouths to restrain their
laughter. He only discovered the
reason Of this unexpected action on
their part when he removed the
plaster which he found, upon ex-
animation, to be the label from
a cotton spool, from which stood
prominently forth the magical
words, Warranted to hold out two
hundred yards" The nose is not
quite this length
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

bringing him home with me
and presenting to him his old
flame, Belle Bronson-the pres
ent Mrs. Evergreen.
'Ah, Fred |! said he, after
dinner, when my wife and the
little Evergreens had left us to
ourselves = 'Ah, Fred, you
served me a shabby trick when
you allowed me to lose my heart
to the girl you were all along in
tending to marry yourseH-a
very shabby trick, one of which
| never suspected you 7
So / had to tell him Tin strict
confidence, of course, as | tell
you, reader) all about the bed
room affair at the Oakville Ho-
tel, andtthe love that grew out
of it.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

Here is a little story that came
floating all the way from Alsace
"Many peasants killed their
horses to prevent the Prussians
from taking them"
Now if the people of Alsace
are so German in their sympa-
thies and so anxious for the
reign of the House of Hohen-
zollern, why do they make a sac
rifice that a peasant would make
only under the pressure of
strong feeling. When nation
meets it's deliverer it does not
welcome him by sacrificing 4ts
property to do him injury.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20
TERMS.

PTwo Dollars for one year, iEva-
f.<tH ia advance.
- Single copies, Ten Cents each.
@AdTertisements inserted ct One Dollar
- sausre of Ten Lines or loss for the first
s:6szrtiou: Fifty Cents for each continuance.
~ Local and Special Notices, Twenty
Gc1ts per line.
"a liberal deduction will be made to
pssons advertising for three, six, nine, or
tEslye months.
f<-- Obituaries and calls on candidates,
EiIsy Cents per square.
AZ The privilege of yearly advertisers Is
zt<3rily limited to their own immediate and
tsrular business; and the business of an ad-
fsstising firm is not considered as including
tbst of It's individual m members. G~-No de-
7istion from these terms under any circum-
a<ances.
AZ Advertisements not marked with the
1unber of insertions when handed in, will be
1sntinued Until ordered out, and payment
1xacted.
O]TNo advertisement inserted gratu tously
/" Advertisements of an abusive nature
Nsll not be inserted at any price.
e1s Announcing candidates Five Dollars,
% be paid in advance 10 every case.
0T Job Printing of all kinds neatly
done on New Type, and on as reasonable
<srms as any Office in Tennessee.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20
The Fate Of a Prussian
Spy.

In an inn at Strasbourg, says
a French paper, some Algerines,
officers, sub-officers, and French
soldiers, were engaged in eating a
comfortable dinner, the first fol-
eight days.
A stranger entered and asked
permission to join them at the ia.
ble. Gentlemen" said he, sal
though / do not have the honor
of being known to you, / am not
a stranger to the grand family of
the army. Capt. Brunei, of the
Twenty first line, is my test friend
almost my brother"
On account of Capt. Brunei, al.
though no one present knew him,
the stranger was allowed to take
a seat. He had alleady eaten the
c0telette and the ragostt, and had
commenced to chat with his com,
panions, when his evil destiny
brought into the room an officer
of the Twenty-frst.
"Ah !" said one to the stranger,
s'here is some one who will give
you news of your friend"
Lieutenant, we present to you
an intimate friend of Capt. Bru-
net"
"What Brunei 2"
"0f the Twenty-frst."
"We have never had a Capt.
Brunei during the ten years Ihave
been in it. !"
The intruder was visibly en-
barrassed. He stammered, and,
in his confusion, betrayed a for
eign accent.
Some Turcos took the lieuten-
ant aside, and said
"Are you sure Capt. Brunei is
unknown in the Twenty-frst p
81 give you my word of honor!'
They were going TO make short
work of the spy, but his next
neighbor, an officer of the trail
leurs arrested them with a gesture,
and said
"This gentleman is under my
care. Dine at your ease, sir. Per
NIT me to pass the cheese. Take
some of those mirabelles."
The dinner was ended in silence.
They went out. The officer took
the arm of the spy, passed into
the street, drew his revolver, and
gravely, and without a word of
remark, blew out his brains.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A case involving the ownership
| of two ducks came before Justice
Beach yesterday. Charlotte Viii
liams complained that Mrs. Swans
bury had seized and held possess
ion of two ducks belonging to her.
The Justice informs US that he
Immediately issued a warrant for
the "unlawful detainer" of the
ducks, and assigned yesterday af-
ternoon for the trial OF the case.
Each party appeared with numer-
GUS witnesses. The plaintiff s wit.
nesses proved that Charlotte Viii
liams had some ducks, but as there
was no means of identifying them
at the Magistrates Office, an officer
was dispatched with two witnesses
to the residence OF Mrs. Swansbury
to identify the ducks.
Some dozen of ducks were look
ed over, and two of them identi-
fed by witnesses as the property
Of Charlotte Williams. They re-
turned to the office and made re-
port. The defendants witnesses
then swore that Mrs. Swansbury
had many ducks, and some of
them added on oath that they be-
lieved the two ducks in controver-
sy belonged to Mrs. Swansbury.
The testimony was even, and for
awhile the scales of justice hung
undecided. The Justice, howey-
er, remarked the precedent of Sol
omon, followed in a noted case by
Sir Thomas Moore, and determined
to avail himself OF these venerable
precedents in the solution of his
case. Ascertaining that Charlotte
Williams resided not far distant
from Mrs. Swansbury, be adjourn
ed the trial to that neighborhood,
and proceeded thither, accompa-
MED by the crowd which had
gathered at the Magistrates Of
flee during the trial, and which by
the time the new arena of justice
was reached, lad swelled to over
a hundred persons.
Arriving at the spot the justice
caused the witnesses for the plain
tiff again to identify the ducks.
Then he directed the gates ofMrs.
SIS yard to be thrown open, and
the whole flock Of ducks to be
turned into the street. Out they
came, quacking and cackling, and
surrounded by halt the noises of
pandemonium. No sooner was
the open street gained than the
two ducks, whose testimony on
the subject of their ownership it
was the object of the justice to OBJ
tain in this novel fashion, made
tracks at once for the house of
Charlotte Williams, while the
rest of the flock remained near the
gate, where they had come, ex-
cept one old drake, which started
for the residence of a colored man
in the neighbOrhood, and was
claimed by him. The Justice de-
cided that upon the testimony of
the two ducks he must give ;-dg-
ment for the plaintiff, and he ac-
cordingly did so.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20
Tfmple Of Lie 8lnses.
Let us Make the Best of it.

LifAis but feeting dream,
Care destroys the best of it;
Swift it glideth like stream
Mind you make the best of i'll
Talk not of your weary woes,
Troubles, or the rest of it;
If we have but brief repose,
Let US make the best of it,
If your friend has got heart,
There is something in him,
Cast away his darker part,
Cling TO what's divine in him.
Friendship is our best relief
Make noheartless jest of it;
It will brighten every grief.
If we make the best of it.
Happiness despises state,
"Tls no sage experiment,
Simply that the wise and great
May have Joy and merriment;
Rank is not its spell refined
Moneys not the best of it,
But calm contented mind,
That viii make the best of it.
Trusting in The power above,
Which sustains all of US
In the common bound of love,
Riddeth great and small Of US;
Whatsoever may befall--
Sorrow, or the rest of it
We shall overcome them all,
If we make the best Of it.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

Two San Francisco BARRIERS en-
gagged to fight a duel, agreed to
part and walk around block, and
when they got in sight of each
other, to blaze away. When they
turned the corner out of sight both
started on a run in different direc-
tions, and one has sent from Alas
ka for his winter clothes, and the
other has written to his wife from
the city of Mexico.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A Springfield, SIll., exchange
tells the story of a forlorn local
preacher in that district whose
aggregate income from all sources
last year only footed up one cur
ry-comb, keg Of varnish, and
two dozen clothes-pins.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

In Wyoming Territory the gen.
tier sex take quite an active part
10 politics, and Mrs. and Miss pre-
fixed to a candidate is not unusu,
al. The following advertisement
appears in the Wyoming Tribune
Attention Ladies!-A meeting
OF women will be held at s o'clock
this evening at the house of Mrs.
W. Pease, for the purpose of Sc.
lectlng candidates for county off,
GERS at the ensuing election. BY
order OF the committee" Mrs. S,
d. Pickett was nominated for the
County Clerkship. Mrs. NJ. H.
Arnold for Superintendent of
Public Schools. Mrs. NJ. E. Post
Is a member of the Republican
committee.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A woman is reported to have
recently died in England from the
effects of a poison administered to
her by fly, which, after having
been upon some Of the patent fly
paper, alighted upon her nose, upon
a spot where there had been a
slight scratch, leaving an open
wound.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

In Detroit . few days ago, the
keeper of a stall in the market,
findlng the rain falling on the roof
drIpped through on his produce,
climbed upon the top OF the stall
with a view to regulate matters.
de found ak pocket books lying
there in the rain, each contain.
ing more or less money. 1t is
supposed they were thrown there
some time ago by a pickpocket al
the moment of his arrest in the
market.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A young lady Of Richmond was
so determined on suicide that she
bit off the tube of the stomach.
pump and swallowed it when the
doctor attempted to relieve her Of
the laudanum she had taken.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

There is a Servian Prince In
the Prussian army whose name
is so long that a company of en-
gineers have been ordered to
level down the consonants and
use it as a pontoon bridge.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A smart girl in Minnesota pop
ped the question to her lover
asked the consent of bis parents,
procured marriage license, or
dered the wedding breakfast, the
carriage to convey them to the de.
pot, and had a private conversa-
ton with the parson, all on the
same day.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

"And you have married Mr..
Penny" said gentleman to a
lady of his acquaintance. "No,
Mr.. Pence" "Ah, you have
done better than I thought"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

SINGULAR.-That a e. overn-
ment like that of Prussia can
pick up its whole able-bodied
male population, and carry it off
to war in another country, and
yet fail to get a war loan at
home. Capital cares for itself
the people are nothing,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A Philadelphia woman earns
her honest livelihood by faiuting
in front Of large stores and hotels,
into which she is carried, a purse
is made up for her, and she is sent
home in a hack,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A letter from prominent mill
tary man in Paris says that no
published account has yet revealed
the extent of the frauds by the
contractors for the French army.
Large quantities of cartridges
were filled with sand, and bullets
were cast hollow cannon shot were
thin shells filled with sand, and
some of them were wood. Many
horses that had been turned over
to the cavalry regiments were
found unserviceable, and this is
one reason why the French caval.
ry accomplished SO littled during the
campaign. The letter closes by
saying the frauds on the United
States army in the late war were
enormous, but they were compar-
atively slight by the side of the
frauds on the French.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

Weare Marston, of North Ham
ton, New Hampshire, lived and
died a red-hot Democrat. His
will provided that his. executor
should select six true Democrats
to carry him to the grave, who
should be paid from his estate Sc
each, and no funeral services
should be held over his remains
unless some minister of the Cos
pie con1d be found to conduct such
services who had never preached
political or war sermons.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

When married man becomes
"corned," it is a wonnan's right'tob
pull bis ears,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

A Brooklyn gentleman, just re-
turned from a Southern tour, had
occasion TO stop a day or two at
the leading hotel of Vicksburg,
Miss. AT dinner the gentleman
was greatly surprised and some
what amused by the original
method of introducing the bill of
fare. The landlord, good ma
tured fellow of the Jack Fallstaff
order of humanity, would walk
up and down the dining room a
la Napoleon, his hands behind
him, shouting "roast beef" "biled
mutton" "pork and beans,
"biled fowls "oyster fritters, /"
&c. "Why in the world, my dear
sir" said our friend to the land
lord, "don't you print your bill
of fare, so that we can see what
you have on hand u" "Hush my
good sir, don't suggest the idea,
said Boniface. "You see we're
very often honored with some Of
the Legislative body at our table,
and scarce a id one of 'em mon
grels and niggers can read a line,
SO / adopt this method to spare
their feeljngs!" Our readers can
now recognize the intellectual cal
ibre Of the carpet-bag Legislature.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

The next amendment is to be
called the "sweet sixteenth" =.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-10-20

1 think they do. / was forty-sev.
en- when I courted my present
wife, but it seemed just as nice
to sit on a little cricket at her
feet ard let her smooth my hair
as it did thirty years ago.
As / said before, my wife is a
very smart woman, but she could
not be anything else and be a
Baxter, She used to give lee
lures on woman's rights, and in
one place where she lectured, a
big college conferred the title Of
L. L, D., upon her. But she
wouldn't take it. "No, gentle.
men" said she. ''give it to the
poor" She was always just SO
charitable. She gave my boys
permission to go bare-iooted all
winter and insisted upon it so
much in her kind way that they
couldn't refuse.
She fairly dotted on my children
and I've seen her many a time go
to their trowser pockets and take
out their pennies after they'd got
to sleep, and put them in her
bureau drawer for fear they might
lose them.
/ started to tell you about my
wife's bridal tour, but the fact is /
never could find out much about
it myself. / believe she had a
good time.
In conclusion. / would say to
all young men Marry your Sec
ond wife first, and keep out of
debt by all means, even Jas A.
Ward says if you have to bor-
row money to do it.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-02-25
MARION CKNrEn, KAN, Feb. IS. 1870.


At regular meeting OF the Center Division
No. 81, Sons OF Temperance, the undersigned
were appointed committee TO draft the fol-
lowing resolutions of respect for the memory
OF Bro. Barzilia Gibson, deceased.
WHEREAS, II has pleased an allwise Provi-
dence 10 remove from our midst by the hand
CT death our respected Bro. Il. Gibson; there
fore be IL
ReSolred, That in the death Of Bro. Gibson
the Order, and the community in which he
lived, have lost valuable n'ember and an
honest, upright citizen.
Resolped. That we extend our sincere sym
patty 10 the family OF the deceased in their
affection, and trust that the priceless her
itage. n good name, which he has LETT them,
will be n source of consolation 20 them as il is
TO
Resolred, That the usual badge OF mourning
be worn by the Division for thirty days, n
mark of respect.
Resolved, That the Recording Scribe furnish
20 the widow OF the deceased brother copy of
these resolutions.
THos. w. Down. Conn
FRANCIS BowER.i
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-02-25

Commemorative learn from Mr.. 4. 5. Pol
lard, who has the contract of making the brick
required by the Brick Company, that we were
I'm error, last week, in saying that every brick
he makes is contracted for. He states that he
has contracted to make 100000 brick for the
company, but that that contract will be filed,
II required, by the first OF June, and that he
will continue to make many more brick over
and above the SOC, 0O0-haying 400 cords Of
wood more than he will need for that amount.
He says he will be able to make 3,50o, 900 brick
during the season, If the weather Is favorable.
We gladly give Mr.. Pollard the benefit Of this
statement. We told just what we knew to the
best OF our Information and belief, without any
intention OF doing him an injury. We hope
that he will be able 10 do as well as he says he
col