National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1870-04-08
Can a man marry his widows sis,

If a man marry a shrew, are we
to suppose him shrewd7
"A Philadelphia boarding school
has just graduated five Sallies, and
two Sadies, but not one Sarah.
A Hoosier has been winding a
clock daily for twenty years, with.
ont discovering that it was an eight
day clock.
A new pill has been invented in
Albany. 1t is made of India rub
ber. One box cures a cold and rem
ders your overcoat impervious to
water.
Sydney Smith once sand, 'Phllan.
thropy is a universal sentiment of
the human heart; whenever a sees
b iii trouble, he always wants c to
help him.
A youth who rescued n young
woman from suicide in the Erie
canal has been arrested for assault
and battery. He wrenched her
chignon out of shape.
A man in Matte was arrested last
week for breaking into the lock-up.
lie can now try the experiment of
breaking out, on the principle that
a good rule works both ways.
Mark Twain hearing Of an unsuc.
ccssiul attempt at boring for water
in California, remarked, why don't
tLey go round and try the other
end There must be water some.
where
\ rich man Of Nashville closes
his will with the provision that none
uf the bcq,ests shall be paid until
nice monument is put over his
) grave. There will beslively marble
cutting in Nashville.
My boy, what does your mother
10 for a llyIngl' was asked of lit.
tie baretooted urchin. She eats
. cold vlctuals, sir
A western bald'headed man, is
described as having his forehead
extending to the gable end of his
neck
+ An amateur naturalist offers re-
! ward to the man who will furnish
+ BIN with Il live specimen of the
brick bat
y witty lady being asked her
A opinion of moustacAes, replied. Il
e always set my face against them
y Who will sacrifice nothing and en-.
JOY all is fool.
= Dc nothing to day that thou wilt
1 repent OF to morrow.
Truth withheld is sometimes a
+ worse deception than that Il direct
= mis- statement.
No one can impart what he does
:, not possess. No one can teach tO
= others what lie has not learned him.
: self.
: Generous ambition and sensibility
c to praise are, especially in you h,
!, among the marks of virtue.
The breath OF envy blasts .fiend.
: ship. lie whom the superiority ot
n friend oli'cuds, will never impress
II an enemy with awe.
- He who trades in contradictions
= viii not be contIadlCted.
Hurry and cunning are the tive
- apprentices of dispatch and skill
" but neither of them ever learn theil
" masters trade.
e \ lovely girl in Wisconsin, recent
+. ~ recovered a hundred aud fort,
VI dollars damage in Il breach of prom
II ise suit against Il pcrfdious lover
II Her lawyer congratulated her ol
T. the amount, when she exclaimed
J. with terocious glance at the mulct
:, cd dciendant,and nervuously clench
|. ing her fingers: I'D give every pen
l. ny of it just to have one good pul
- at his hair
10 Napoleon once entered a cathedra
N and saw twelve silver statues
If What are these ? said the Emper
OF. 'Thc twelve Apostlcs;' was tht
IS reply. WELL said the great cap
Is tain. take them down, melt them
10 aud coin them into money. and le
10 them 20 abont doing good us thei
II. Master did
y Dan Rice, the well known clown
$ oucc remittcd. in settlement of a
"a account, to the publisher of pape
IT, out west, n three dollar bill, wliic
ie was returned with the brief remark
n this note is counterfeit, please sen
u another IL was two mouths beior
Dl he heard from Dan again, when Ii
- apologized tor the delay, saying tha
III he had been unable till then to fin
~ another counterfeit three dollar bil
w but he hoped the one enclosed wo',
o suit, protesting ut the same time hi
II inability TO discover what the OF
lection was to the other, which h
a, Thought as good u counterfeit as II
-, ever saw. IL must be admitted thl
,m Dan swept the board.
rs In u certain church coleciio
id was to he taken. Having no boxc
no the minister's hat was borrowed
A A sl... IL. .I