The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1870-06-29
FUN.

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Al thorn in The bush is worth two in
the hand.
There was old Jack Lingo, ask him
to take some Stlngo, and he'd say 81
guess 1 will, by jingo."
,ai5 Chicago is proud ofa horse that
9 ehews tobacco. We've seen numer'
Gus bulky ones here that choose-to-
back-o when they were wanted to go
ahead.
a st. Louis colored church was SO
much exercised over n white man oc-
eupying the pulpit that he was induced
to leave by being dropped out OF a win
dow.
40. They say of the President 'his head
was not so clear as usual when he
signed the message. 1t was recently
@ after a severe attack of colo.
A reason why a piano was not saw
ed at fire was because none of the fire
men could play on 1t.
A Richmond wag sent m extract
from the Song of Solomon to a city
paper as original. The editor pub.
iished it as q s'fair specimen of the
trash daily consigned to the vast bas-
ket-" q oia.
As the reported discovery of a hole
; in the bottom of Salt Lake has been
confirmed, it ought to be referred to
Secretary Boutwell,, who was the first
to detect a hole in the sky.
A woman living in Detroit, was
once sold by her then husband for a
cord of wood. Both her purchaser
and herself have always been pleased
with the bargain. q
70 Gen. Pratt, the great American
traveller says that ''after thirty years
experience, enough to put down a mill
ion ordinary men forever, he has come
to the conclusion that American poll
tics is helps grist mill to grind up
devils in" ''
An Arkansas temperance society
has dissolved. 1t allowed aleas a bev-
erage, but the members found it bum
glesome' to their stomachs, and fell
back n,the Chicago whisky, !
A Connecticut man took a noble
e on the minister who had SER
monized at him. He went calmly in
the night to the parsons garden and
pulled up every n of his c~abbages.
A Cfinaman just arrived at Frisco
was too much of q lion among the Ce-
lestial bellies to suit his countrymen,
so they have quietly amputated his
head with a cleaver M sent him to
Hong Kong in q coffin.
ssHere, Alfred, is an apple. Di-
vide it politely with your little sister,
How shall I divide it politely mama2"
Give the larger part to the other per
son, child. Alfred handed the apple
to his little sister saying, here, sis,
you divide it YOURSELF
The editor of a country paper in Ill
inois, who has suffered from the dep
relations of thieves, prints this para
graph: 1.-The other night we charged
a lump of coal with powder. The
next morning a stove was blown high
er than Mr.. Gilroy's kite. We have
another lump charged"
.aLA Wooster girl, picking up an arti-
fetal bug, as she thought, and find
ing it to be alively c~ockroaek, scream
ed and tainted Her sister ran for
water down stairs, and fell to the bot
! tom, and young man in the hall ran
to the street crying "Fire" and in
leaping from the stoop, sprained his
ankle and peeled his nose.
A dutchman, in describing a pair
of horses he lost, said "Da vas wary
much alike, specially der off von.-I
Won lookt so mooch like poth, 1 vos
not able to tell der oder from which;
Ven i goes for Won, l always caught
der oder; und I wipt Won most tead,
,pecos der oder kickt at me-"