Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-12-06
TERROREM.
3 From the Hilsborough Recorder
Old Uncle Alfred. o
Git up Motley Durn such Victory.

Old uncle Alfred B---'-of this county had
a iot of negroes he used to own before this
here war" but they all went up at the surren
der and uncle Alfred is as cross as, hi about
it, An old sheriff Of this county played a
right good thing s.n uncle Alfred just after the
late elec,iun. He was sitting IN his accus-
toned corner smoking his pipe when sheriff q.
entered aa1 o 11a "a
Hello, uncle Alfred, have you heard the
new-? asked the sheriff.
Umph, [ dunno; what news is it p
why that the Conservatives have swept the
State-and Bill Holden S turned out-and Jen-
kIDs and company have gone up the spout
and = ~
'.Umph / hearn that two days ago, and
the old man kept on smoking. aeFe4 y
but that ain all You re got your niggers
bacls r. shouted the sheriff
II grann,9 you don't say so! huraw tor our
people e-sherlf fake = seat-take smoke
the old man had got up ssa taken The pipe
our OF his muuh) here take my pipe an ihe
dam nigger aint free hey? Well, aod darn
my hide Vt that ain ghOd news Sheriff sci
down. Nuw il be dod burned if | don't sell
every aiager i We got, rive :, f. Or L goy the
dam yankee wall rake EN- away agin hey!
ain that SOP Lhdy marsy, | said so!
said We d git EN- back aglu that the burned
great victory thought Well / viii t,z z =, = n r.
SAID = sheriff. stay along wit me to- -night-well
II be dod darned just as | said thought
knowed il would be So
Il must ger on home, U ncle Alfred" said
the sheriff. f,but I'd like 70 buy s.old Ben
iron you; I'd give gallon of good brandy
for hm." Old Ben Is ap old crazy negro
who has been ioa6eg about Chapel Hill ever
since the throw Out. 2,
Il can't take that. He s little crazy like,
but he's mighty good for home oecashuns. LII
take Eve gallons for him Well, will be dod
burned. Sheriff. say, when you go On home
just ride by and tell that burned old school
teaching yaller plge nigger to git along home
TO his tuarster Drot their hides.'
{ The sheriff Went on home, promising to give
the five gallons for old Ben. lglas q
The next morning bright aud early uncle Al
fred mounted his old horse and rode over to
settlement near Chapel Hill where III, old ne
grnes were working 'sheers' on plantation.
He rode up to the fence and hollered over at
them Il say you niggers come rite here
Coaae on! L don't t want no ioolln' about this
thing" .s ca.T as
The negroes all came over to the road.
Look a here | want you dam niggers-
every one of you-to git rfe back home-rite
off +! dod durn yon, don't you say word Go
rise on home You ain't free now. Whar'o
Suse and al her tribe ?-f don't zee EN- here =
and thar'> Jake and his wlse they ain here
nei herd d durn II, git 'em up rite off III
going TO carry you all rite back home .
The negroes swoe they wouldnt 90 step
and there they had II kicking up terrible
TO do" in the road and all about TO fight
when gentleman CHANGED TO be riding by and
he asked uncle Alfred what in the world Was
h., Il al
durn niggers don't want to go back home
that what the matter Ai.'t we Conserva-
nves he'll! We've done carried the State and
"put 'em all back" hey? Here just you
shet up! You hear me you dod durn black
snakes Ill git your hides Wit an then III sell
yuu-yon hear mel Welt will swar :
stranger that wur a great victory tliY
| The stranger told him it was true the Con-
servatives had gained a great victory-''bu =
| laid he-.'py friend. you are mistaken about
the negroes being put back that's all HI
| Betty Marin they are as free now as they
have been since he surrender --
| Uncle Alfred rose in his stirrups and turned
his horses head towards home and shaking his
fist in the s,ra' GERS face said : bod durn
| such a victory as that You are all a SET OF
| damn fools-dnd durn you git up Molly. =
| And roweng his old rip in The fanks with his
broughan shoes he went back home In dog
trot wlser-but we fear-not happier man.
The Deroir Free Press relaies an incident
which occurred on the return OF an excursion
rarty from he city. S 'on atfer The boat LETT
| Toledo the steward was approached Oy an ex-
cl, ed individual, who asked hin If he was the
captain The seward replied in the negative
at the same time g wing his rank. Have you
| the power 10 put "a man OUT ct the CABIN ln'
auirtd he stranger We'll yes ii he dis
orderly, | have" replied the steward We'll
| sir, look in here. and see them, WI II you, said
the stranger, leading the official around TO The
door The steward looked IN upon the motley
| group and replied hat he saw noi hing out oi
the way. Y u don't, eh? Don't you see {
man sitting there embracing woman =
W. ell, yes " replied the steward but wha
of that 2" Hasn't fellow right to embrace
his wife p That's ssr what l want you tt
run hin cut for, replied the stranger, dane
ing around 'thats my wife, and we stood !
so long that I've got mad T.
QUESTION hat are those sweet scented
little caned young men, with hair parted 10 tn
middle good for?
| ANSWER. Good for the place they are gen
orally used, to stand up around church doors
and street corners, aud cape at those who az
trying to 60 somewhere, or to do or be some
thing Every time [ see one of these soft
tempts at humanity, feel an almost irresist
BILE impulse TO clap baud box down over tt
tender thing, and set it out Of the reach OF fros
| to harden.
A young lady at a western temperance NEE
, | ing said Brethren and sisters cider Is n
cessiry to me, and mus, have it Ii it is d
! clded that We are not TO drink cider, | shall G
apples and get some young man 10 squeeze n
t tor can { live without the juice OF the apple