The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1870-05-03
MARK TWAIN ON sSMELLS >,

PIOUS OLFACTORIES AND PEREUMED THE
OLOGY.
In recent issue of the Mdependem the
Rev. T. De Witt Talmadge, of Brooklyn
has the following utterance on the sub
ject of smells,
L have good Christian friend who
if he sat in the front pew in the church.
and working man would enter the
door at the other end, would smell him
instantly. My friend is not to blame fol
the sensitiveness of his nose, any more
than you would fog pointer for being
keener on the scent than stupid watch
dog. The fact is, if you had all the
churches free, by reason of the mixin g
up of the common people with the un :
common, you would keep one half OF
Christen dom sick at their stomach. Ii
you are going to kill the church with bad
smells, / will have nothing to do with
this work of evangelization.'
We have reason to believe that there
will be laboring men in heaven; and al
SO number otnegroes, and Fsquimaux,
and Terra del Fuegens, ard Arabs. and
few Indians, and possibly even some
Spaniards and Portuguese. All things
are possible with God. We shall have
all these sorts of people in heaven; but
alas in getting them we shall lose the
society of DR.. Talmadge. Which is to
say, we shall lose the company of one
who could give more real tone to ce-
lestial society than any other contribu-
tion Brooklin could furnish. And wha
would eternal happiness be witwout the
Doctor? Blissful, unquestionably-w e
know that we'll enough-but would it be
distingue would it be recherche without
him? ST. Matthew without stockings or
sandals; st. jerome bareheaded, and with
a coarse brown blanket robe dragging the
ground; st. Sebastian with scarcely any
raiment at all-these we could see and
we should enjoy seeing them; but would
we not miss spike tailed coat and kids
and turn awayregretfully, and say to par
ties from the Orient: These are well
enough. but you ought to see Talmadge
of Brooklyn. | fear me that in the better
world we shall not even have DR.. Tai
madge's good christian friend For if
we were sitting under the glory of the
Throne, and the keeper of the keys ad-
mitted a Benjamin Fr; nklin or other la
boring man, the 'friend,' with his fine
natural powers infinitely augmented by
emancipation from hamperipg flesh.
would detect him with single sniff,
and Immediately take his hat and asked
to be excused.
If the subject of these remarks had
been chosen among the Twelve Apostles
he would not have associated with the
rest. because he could not have stood the
fishy smell of some of his comrades who
came from around the Sea of Galilee.-
lie would have resigned his commission
with some such remarks as he makes in
the extract quoted above. Master, if
thou art going to kill the church thus
with bad smells, 1 will have nothing TO
do With this work of vangelzation.'-
He is deciple and makes that remark
to the Master; the only difference is, that
he makes it in the nineteenth instead of
the first century.
Now, can it be possible that in hand
full of centuries the Christian character
has fallen away from an imposing hero
ism that scorned even the stake, tue
cross and the AK, to poor little effem-
macy that withers and willis under an
unsavory NELL?