The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1870-08-05


You'll think my reply quite alarming;
In French, we've gentleman teacher, you
know,
And somehow it's perfectly charmingl
Josh Billings Pepper Pods.
If you hev got spirited and noble
boy, appeal tew his generosity; if yu
hev got hevy and sulicn one, appeal
tew his back.
A great many ov orr people 60 abroad
tew improve their minds who hadn't got
emmy minds when they war at home;
knowledge, like charity, shud begin at
home, then spred.
Affections are tho compliments that
Heaven pay tew the virtewous.
Nobody but phool will spend hiz
time trieing tew convince phool.
Time liz like money, the less we hav
ov it tew spare the further we make it
60.
The tongue liz really very fast
member ov the body politick; he duz all
the talking and two-thirds ov the think
ing;
There IL many persons who kan set
mouse-trap tew perfeckshu1h, but, not
satisfied with sich small game, under
take tew trap for bears, and git ketched
by the bears. Moral--studdy yure
RCulubJ huu Sb1Ch CSW L1lCo.
''Let him go, mi son." sed an ancient
yung rabbit, ''and when he gifts bigger
ketch him again" The boy did az he
wuz told, and haz been lookin for that
RABBIT ever since.
The world owes oil its energy and re-
fnement tew luxurys- digging roots for
breakfast and going naked for clothes,
il the virtewous innocence of law
savage.
There il lots ov folks who eat well,
and drink we'll, and sleep we'll, nnd yet
are sick all the time-these ore the folks
alwuz enjoy poor Health.
A person with little smattering ov
learning, is good deal like hens egg,
that haz been sot on for short time,
and then deserted by the hen-it is spite
for Matching out ennything.
"People ov good sense" are those
whose opinyuns agree with ours.
There il CRATE deal Of magnificent
poverty in our big citys- people who eat
kam soup out ov tin basin with gold
spoon.
The place whar poverty. virtew and
luv meet and worship together, il the
most sakred spot in the universe.
Experience don't make a man so bold
az it duz so careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never haz
playspell or frolik; it liz stiff from morn
ing till night, from top to bottom, like
sled stake.
Thare aint but very little ginowino
good sense in this world ennyhow, and
what little thar iz amt in market-it is
held for dividend.
Thoze who hev made up thare minds
to lead life of enjoyment will find the
following recipee CRATE help tew them:
Tew one once of plezure add pound ov
repentance.
Adversely il poultess which reduces
our vanity and strengthens our virtew-
even boy never feels half az good az
when he haz been spanked and sot away
tew cool.
Pedantry il the science ov investing
what little yu know in one kind ov per-
fumery, and insisting upon sticking
that under every mans knoze whom yu
meet.
Lieing is like trieing tew hide in o
fog, if yu move about yure in danger Nv
humping yure he'd ngin the truth, and
az soon NJ the fog blows oph you aro
gone ennyhow.
Marrying on angel il the poetry of
marriage, but living with her iz the
proze, and this is ill we'll enuff if the
taste ov the poetry haint spite our
relish for the proze.
The man who lives on hope must pick
the bones ov disappointment.
The devil iz sed tc be the father ov
lies If this IL so, ho haz got large
family and o CRATE menny promising
children amung them.
Life liz like mug of beer, froth at the
top, oil in the middle, and settings at
the bottom.
We should live in this life as tho wo
war walking on glaze ice, Liable to fall ut
emmy moment, and to be laffed at bi the
bystanders.
Men, if they amt too lazy, liv sum-
times till they are eighty, and destroy
the time good deal az follows; tho fust
thirty years they spend throwing stuns
at n mark; the second thirty they spend