Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1870-10-27
Brevities.
A cereous matter-Bees-waX.

companies.
| When is grocer like highway
man! When he lies in weight.
Why is a proud woman like a mu-
sic book? She is full of airs.
A young mans affections are not
always wrong, but they are general
ly misplaced.
Somebody says: "a wife should
be like roasted lamb-tender and
nicely dressed" A scamp adds,
"and without any sauce"
The side good many people in
Paris would like to take at present
the outside.
Miss Kate Field, the lecturer is
ahead of most young ladies-she has
one hundred engagements on hand.
1t matters not what a man loses,
if he saves his soul; but if he loses
his soul, it matters not what he saves.
| To Farmers-the only common
place thing you need not be afraid
of running in the ground''-the
plough-share.
| 1t is nearly as impossible to get
money of a miser as it would be for
a butcher to get lamb chops out of a
batteringram.
| To try to get an honest man in
side the ring, is to attempt Sidney
Smiths proposition to ''put square
man into q round hole"
Whatever the Germans may de-
mand in the way of territory, and
whatever may be ceded, the French
may be sure the Germans won't re-
cede.
"Ah, parson, 1 wish / could take
my gold with me-" said rich old
Deacon Swipes. at might melt, if
you did," was the reply.
Louis Napoleon recently, in a Sc
we're fit of the gout, told his physi-
clan he suffered the pains of the
damned. The doctor cody answer
ed, "What, alreadyf"
Local muscular fatigue may be re-
lieved by rubbing or percussing the
part or by changing position and
bringing other parts of the body
into action.
A melting sermon being preached
in country church, all wept except
one man, who being asked why he
did not weep with the rest, "Ohp
said he, Il belong to another
church."
A new minister at New Bedford
took stroll before breakfast on the
first Sunday he was there, and, after
walking dozen blocks, was accost-
ed by shabby-looking individual
with-"You needn't look any fur
ther, there amt a single saloon
open"
Some ill-bred fellow has found out
that husbands are like dough, be-
cause wives knead them. May not
thlsexplain why there are so many
crusty fellows?
Because we ventured last week,
(says an exchange paper, to intro
duce few Latin words into a para
graph, just to make show of our
knowledge, contemporary quotes
Latin at us in most ferocious man
ner. He says,-"Nihil. tit"
An Adirondack native, at Sarato-
ga, seeing Broadway belle driving
her phaeton, with the negro in liv-
cry behind, remarked: THAT negro
must pay that nice looking girl a
pile to drive for him."
A captain in the British navy,
meeting a friend as he landed ut
Portsmouth, boasted that he had
left his whole ships company the
happiest fellows in the world. 'How
so" asked his friend. "Why, l have
just fiogged seventeen, and they are
happy it is over; and all the rest
are happy they escaped"
A murderer being about to be
hanged, the jailer bade him be of
good cheer, '.for this night" said he,
''thou shalt sup with Pluto in
Hades." Il am much obliged to
you," replied the other, "but l had
rather be excused, for l am no sup
per man."
Il will forfeit my head if you are
not wrong" exclaimed vehement
United States Senator, to President
Lincoln in an argument. Il accept
it" replied the President; "any tritie
among friends has value"
A Scotchman who had put up at
an inn, was asked in the morning
how he had slept. "Ah, mon,' re-
piled Donald, mae vera well aither,
but | was muckle better off than
the bugs, for die'l one o them
closed an e'e the whole night"
A New England journal concludes
an affectionate obituary notice of a
lamented townsman by saying: HE
has filed many offices of public
trust, and now fills his grave with
perfect satisfaction to his fellow cit
liens"
A gentleman lying on his death
bed, called his coachman, who had
been an old servant, and said: "Ah,
Tom, Tn going long and rugged
journey, worse than ever You drove
me-" .'Oh, dear sir" replied the
fellow, ''let not that discourage you;
it is all down hill"
Spiteful paragraphists are max
ing further attacks upon the CHG
non. They say that coarse Russian
wool is worked up into that article
by processes and the application of
materials not at all agreeable to con-
template. The wool is stepped in 4
bath of sulphate of copper for pc
riod of from ten to fifteen hours.and
then boiled for two or three hours
more in a solution of cateehu, an
astringent and poisonous substance,
which by its tanning qualities per
fects the dye. To this is added sui
phate of iron, logwood, and other
dcleterious substances.
Those who complain of King
Williams overland usage of Louis