Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-11-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS


An insult to tn flag-steneiling adyer-
iisements on the pavement.
An individual at Bangor declares that
it's the working between meals that's
killing him.
Paradox as it may seem, people who
are inclined to be fat are generally least
inclined 10 be so.
Why does the fool who never laughs
remind you of the wisest wan? Because
he is Solemn'un.
Eugene, in making her escape secured
nearly all her property; but she left her
Paris all behind her.
Why should mercy be ever a benefit
the light-fngered gentry? Because it
blesses "him that takes"
The young lady at AllemagoozeIum.
who was up with the lark, is now down
with the rheumatism.
The man that meets ones remark.
with "fiddlesticks," clearly wishes to
do yioiins to ones feelings.
Mother" said dirty-Iegged voutb
who was washing his feet, II have inst
got down to stocking"
A man in Wayne County, Miss. ia
ieeding his cow on juniper berries in
hopes to get her to give gin and milk.
A punster, passing by the shop of a
certain MIR. Taswell, observed that his
name would be as well without the
t. 'no
A Parisian author has translated
Shakspeare's line, "Out, brief candle. %
INTO French thus, "Get out you short
At what time life may man besaid
10 belong to the vegetable kingdom?
When long experience has made him
sage.
Quasqueton's population is sos. Two
hundred more We're expected, but chok-
ed to death'in trying to tell their resi-
dence.
don't see but one reason why that
mare can't trdb her mile itthree minutes
the distance was too great for the
time.
AScotch gentleman outs the postape-
stamp the wrong way upon his letter.
and calls it with tender feeling, turning
a peny.
The pretty English woman-pickpoket
arrested at Western State fair attract
ed attention, not so much for her beauty
as on account of her taking ways.
The best way to make good coffee is to
go to hotels, restaurants, railroad eating
houses, etc, and ascertain just how they
make coffee, then make it as they don't.
Gardeners mind their peas, actors
mind their cues, but tchurchwardens, in.
stead of minding their p's and q's very
lolten give their attention to their pews
and keys.
/ The Springfield (Mass.) Republican
says the cattle show in that city would
have been one of the most successful ever
held-if all those who went to see Lydia
fhompson's g calves had attended.
4 In proofthat Dickens was always in
sympathy with the United States. it is
said his manuecriptsiwere always in blue
INK, on white paper, and his published
works were universally read.
Scene in the Dayton Police Court
Counsel; (which side of the street do
you live on, Mrs. Kippel?" ION the
other side. sir. If ye go one way, it's on
tthe left; if ye go the other, it's on the
A baby found on doorstep was care
f1lty packed in basket, with $40 bill
and : note saying, h When this is exaus-
ted, more will be furnished" Query,
what will be furnished, more money or
more babies?
The only mention of paper money in
the Bible, says an exchange, is whore it
isays that the dove brought the green
back" to Noah. A mistake-when the
CWeIVe were seh< It, they were cnm-
manded to take no8'scrip" with them.
| A young lady was approached the
other evening in one of our city cfiurch-
es by sympathizing friend who asked,
DO you not wish to get religion?" 'Yes,'
she replied, "but until the I'd of Jam
uary: want to go to grand ball on
the first"
A correspondent of country paper
in England says he heard minister de-
scanting on the present war from the
pulpit the other Sunday, and in the
course of his remarks the divine ex-
claimed: How horrible it is to hear
the stified groans of the dying, together
with the shrieks Of the deadi"
Some clever fellow has manufactured
Ihandkerchiefs upon which a map of the
seat of war in Europe is stamped. They
nave proved an immense success, every
body wishing to poke his nose into the
scene of conflict without personal dam
ger.
At Napal, CAL, aboy fifteen years old
killed an Indian girl, and the Jury ac-
quilted him on the ground that he was
not of sufficient age to know right from
wrong.
The silver mine in Sterling, Mass,
which was worked before the revolution
and its ores carried to England, and has
been leased by Fitch0urg parties, and is
to'be at once reopened.
| At Terre Haute, Indiana, q man re-
Gently successfully repuised three high
way ROBBERS; because he "had only thirty
cents, and would be dreffie dry in the
morning."
| Mile. Dejazet, and few other French
actors and actresses who were compelled
to fly from Paris, have opened little
theatre on the Strand, in London.
A Chicago paper recommends San
other flagrant fiction impsled upon the
fork of fact" as an improvement upon
the familiar phrase, smother lie nail
ed.n
A little girl about Z years Of age ar
way to Detroit, who had come ali the
way from Germany alone.
Invalids are now getting away for the
South in great numbers. Florida seems
to be the favorite State for the winter
quarters of the Northern sick.
Looking at the aurora borealis' Is
the excuse heads of families and young
men give now at breakfast for being out
late the previous evening.
Among the inmates Of the Washing
tonian Inebriates' Home, at Boston, last
year were two actors, two professors,