The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-07-23

WIT AND WISDOM.

a witty lady being asked her opinion of
DOustaches, replied, "I always set nv
face against them"
Why is the female centipede supposed
TO be the most ingenious Of insects Be-
cause she 10 the least likely to count-her-
| feet
SambO, why am dat nigger down de hole
OBJ de boat like chicken in de egg?" |
gives um up. Cause he couldn't get out if
it wasn't for de hatch.
A SWEET THOUauT. kind, true.
holy words, dropped in conversation, may
be little thought Of, but they are like seeds
of flower or fruitful trees failing BY the
wayside, borne by some bird afar, happily
thereafter TO fringe with beauty some bar
rem mountain-siaHy eF 10 make glad some
lonely Wildernessss-INorM British ReviesC
A country poef. afser hooking about over
life, has come 70 the following rbyming
conclusion: -
80, wouldn't live forever,
wouldn't if could;
But needn't fret about it,
Fer couldn't if / would"
The principal production Of Styria is
iron. A tradition of long standing among
the natives relates that when the barba-
rians from the regions north of the Danube
drove the Romans from Syria, the Genius
Of the Mountains appeared to the conquer
ors and said Take your choice; will
you have gold mines for year, silver for
twenty years, or iron foreverT' The wise
ancestors Of the Styrians. who had Just be-
gun to appreciate the relative value Of the
precious metals, at once decided to accept
iron forever.
Barber" said farmer to bis tonsor,
snow corn is 50 cheap you ought to shave
for half price"
Can't Mr.. B" said the man Of
razors. :" I ought really to charge more,
for when corn is down farmers make such
long faces that | have twice the ground 70
90 over"
In attempting to carve fowl, one day.
gentleman found considerable difficulty in
separating its joints, and exclaimed against
the man who had sold him an old ben for
a young chicken. my dear" said the
enraged mans wife, "don't talk 50 much
about the aged and respectable Mr.. Il.
He planted the first hill Of corn that was
planted in our town" 81 know that"
snarled her husband, Sand believe that
this hen scratched it up"
A Dutchman once met au Irishman on a
lonely highway. As they met each smiled.
tbiking be knew the other Pat on seeing
his mistake, remarked With look Of dis
appointment, Faith, an | thought il was
you, an you thought it was me, an it's
naytber one Of us." The Dutchman re-
piled " Yaw, dat is dhru I am anudder
man, und you ish not yourself we be
poth some Odder poddies." ar4.
Some days ago well known way, while
wandering through the streets where cloth
iers most do cOngregate, was accosted by
aAaiA-, --hn pulled him into store and de-
sired him to purchase some clothing.
To punish the fellow for bis impOrtunate
advances, the wag said be did want TO Dur-
chase coat
The clothier Immediately tore down sew
eral piles Of goods in order to show the
joker something that would suit him.
Finally coat just the thing" was found.
This coat slits me very well." said
the joker, but there is an offensive smell
about the cloth that | don't like"
"Oh Dat ish not dc coat vat smells
50, dat isb me-" replied the salesman, who
was not going to let an opportunity escape
to complete sale. ..r.r..