The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-04-02

AMBITION Is but avarice, masked, and
walking upon stills.

ADDITION is but avarice, masked, and
walking upon stills.
No human heart is ever vacant. II has
an inhabitant, either an angel or devil
" NV boy, what does your mother do for
livingT' was asked Of little bare-footed
urchin. She eats cold victuaIs, SIR"
IF you would find o great many faults.
be on the lookout If you would find
them in still greater abundance, be on the
looksin.
JOSH BILLINGS reckons among the Lost
Arts, Pumpkin Pi, and Taney, Honesty,
and the art Ov getting up in the morning.
WREN Alexander Smith came back from
Glasgow TO Edinburgh, friend ct him
in the street and asked: Have you come
back for change Of air?" "No," was
the quick reply Of the poet, II have only
come for q change Of smoke"
AN'elderly gentleman, returning home
from church, began to extol the merits Of
the sermon 10 hia son. Said be !: Jack,
I have heard one Of the most delightful ser
mons ever delivered before Christian So
ciety. II carried me to the gate Of Heaven"
"Wby didn't you dodge in n replied
Jack "yOu will never have another such
chance"
A SMILE FROM GRKEcE. (GREAsE.)
Lord +. married his cook. On their
bridal day it rained tremendously the
coachman and his attendant spritcs were
rwak throurh s. Al y, so;1 m -m~ III
qnite in character-there's nothing but drip
ping wherever she goes"
AT late printers festival the following
toast was given: The printer-the master
Of all trades; be beats the farmer with the
Hoe, the carpenter with bis rules, and tie
mason With setting up tall columns be sur
passes the lawyer and doctor in attending
to bis cases, and beats the parson in the
management of the DEVIL
A WESTERN journal tells how drunk
ard vas found lying in the street among
hacks and drays, :" with a small innocent
lad feeling i'm bis vest pocket to find few
pennies to keep his poor father from starving
to death"
AN apOthecary's boy was lately sent to
leave at one house box Of pills, and at an
other six live fowls. Confused on the way,
he left the pills where the fowls should
have gone, and the fowls at the pill place
The folks who received the fowls were as
tonished at reading the accompanying direc-
ton Swallow one every two hours.
SOME one asked Howard Paul if hc was
good equestrian. "I can set on horse as
well as any man in England" replied I'll.
r., but it's when the animal starts the
trouble begins" Once, when be was spill
ed out of his saddle, and as he lay sprawl
ing on the ground, be remarked: 8"
thought I had improved in horsemanship,
but find / have fallen off"
A MAN was Just starting from home one
evening for the Pig and Whistle"
tavern, when his son, bright little fellow,
said, t'I know why they call the public
house the Pig and Whistle r. Because"
replied the child, +" you feed the landlords
pig, and leave us- to whistle for bacOns"
Workingmen should learn to feed their own
pig, and save their own bacon.-LOndoH
Record.
AUNT Dinah could shout and sing with
the best Of the church membera 1t was
common at the missionary meeting to sing
the hymn, Fly abroad thou mighty Cos
pel," while the collection was being taken /;
and Aunt Dinzh always threw her head
back, shut her eyes, and sang away Justify
until the plate had passed. The sable col
lector observed her habit, and one evening
stopped when be came to her, and said
bluntly; " Look a-heah Aunt Dinah, you
needn't be a siDgin' Fly abroad, thou
mighty Gospel if you doesn't give nOthin'
10 make her 1y n"