North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1870-05-04
20. McGREGOR, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 1870


Romance Of Red Gulch-A California
Story.
From the Overland Monthly.
Sandy was very drunk. He was lying
under an axalea bush, in pretty much thu
same attitude in which he had fallen some
hours before. How long he had been
lying there he could not tell, and didn't
care how long he should lie there
was matter equally indefinite and un-
considered. A tranquil philosophy, born
of his physical condition, suffused and
saturated his moral being.
The spectacle Of drunken man-and
of this drunken man in particular-waa
not, grieve to say, of sufficient novelty
in Red Gulch to attract attention. Earlier
in the day, some local artist had erected a
temporary Tombstone at Sandy's head,
bearing the inscription, Effects of Nc.
Corkle's whiskey-kills at forty rods,
with hand pointing to McCorkles sa'
loon. But this, 1 imagine, was, like most
local satire, personal and was q reaec-
ton upon the unfairness of the process,
rather than a commentary upon the im>
propriety OF the result. With this facet
ious exception Sandy had been undis.
turbed. A wandering mule, released
from his pack, had cropped the scant
herbage beside him, and shifted cariously
at the PROSTATE man vagsbond dog,
with that deep sympathy which the species
have for drunken men, had licked his dusty
boots, curled himself up at his feet, and
lay there, blinking one eye at the sunlight;
with stimulation Of dissipation that was
ingenious and dog-like in its implied fat
terry of the unconscious man beside him.
Meanwhile, the shadows of the pine
trees had slowly swung around until they
crossed the road, with their trunks barring
the open meadow with gigantic parallels
of black and yellow. Little puffs Of red
dust, lifted by the plunging hoofs of pass
ing teams. disbursed q grimy shower upon
the recumbent maa. The sun sank lower
and lower, and still Sandy stirred not.
And then the repose of this philosopher
was disturbed-as other philosophers have
been-by the intrusion of an unphilosoph-
ical sex.
"Miss Mary''-as she was known to the
little flock that she had just dismissed
from the log school house beyond the
pines-was taking her afternoon walk.
Observing an unusually fine cluster of
blossoms on the axalea bush opposite, she
crossed the road to pluck it-picking her
way through the red dust, not without
certain fierce little shivers of disgust, and
some feline circumlotion. And then she
came suddenly upon Sandy
OF course she uttered the little staccato
cry Of her sex. But when she had paid
that tribute to her physical weakness, she
became oversold, and halted for moment
at least six feet from this PROSTATE mon
ster-with her white skirts gathered in
her hand, ready for flight. But neither
sound nor motion came from the bush.
With one little foot she then overturned
the satirical head board, and muttered
"Beasts v'-an epithet which probably,
at that msment, conveniently classified in
her mind the entire male population of
Red Gulch. For Miss Mary, being pos
sessed of certain rigid notions of her own,
had not, perhaps, properly appreciated the
demonstrative gallantry for which the
Californian has become SO justly celebrated
by his brother Californians, and had, as
newcomer, perhaps fairly, earned ithe
reputation of being "stuck up"
As she stood there she noticed, also, that
the slant sunbeams were heating Sandy's
head to what che judged an unhealthy
temperature, and that his hat was lying
uselessly at his side. To pick it up and
place it over his head was an act requiring
some courage, particularly as his eyes
were open. Yet she did it and made good
her retreat. But she was somewhat con.
cerned, on looking back, to see that the
hat was removed, and that Sandy WAS sit
ting up and saying something.
The truth was that in the calm depths
Of Sandy's mind, he was satisfied that the
rays of the sun were beneficial and health
full; that, from childhood, he had objected
to lying down in hat; that NO people
but condemned fools, past redemption,
ever wore hats and that his right to dis.
pense with them when he pleased was
inaleniable. This was the statement Of
his inner consciousness. Unfortunately,
its outward expression was vague, being
limited to repetition of the following
formula: "Su'shine all RI /! Vase maar
eh? Wass up, sunshine 2''
Miss Mary stopped, and taking fresh
courage from her vantage of distance,
asked him if there was anything he want
edY'
"Was up? Wasser matar?' continued
Sandy, in very high key.
"Get up, you horrid man = said Miss
Mary, now thoroughly inceased "gst
up, and 90 home"
Sandy staggered to his feet. He was
six feet high, and Miss Mary trembled.
He started forward few PAGES, and then
stopped.
"Wass 90 hum for?" he suddenly
asked, with great gravity.
"Go and take BATH" replied Miss Ma