The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-02-03
L&.UGEERANEOUS.7


| Chickasaw ever had. -aas iad s-ssx p ef
Don go on . Balloon excursion on
your wedding day. ltsis unpleasant to
be blown up sky high Immediately after
marriage. -.-'s-.zzs,s-- 49,
-srhe first cane egeE cut. Cain the
son ef Adam. Every cody "cut'' him
after he killed his brother. ,-~.. e..-
Way is tie letter n like the next
world Because it is the end of time
and the beginning OF eternity. s
IL paregoric Tedding is the latest
matrimonial novelty. It takes place
about the end of the first year.
If one half the girls knew the pre-
vioEs lie Of the men they marry, the list
| Of old maids would be wonderfully In
creased. s.7-.- --sf
Man don't. and won't, ard can t
love woman that don't look sweet and
happy. HOY ca1 he? 'ltisn't natural.
When a maiden aWakens in the
heartfot slngle man of forty, the ten
der passion, she finds the various affec-
| ticns OF his nature all Sin boch."
An old lady announced at Atlanta.
| that she chad DO counsel" that ''Ged
was her laWyer.n ''iIy dear madam, y
replied the judge, che does not practice
II this coartso~
"A popular preacher in New York
city had the face to say,the other even
| ing. that men were mere atoms, and
| directly in front Of lin satYan individual
weighing three hundred pounds.
"A young man stepped into bool-
SELLER and said he wanted Young
Man s Companion. 'sWell, SIR sand
the bookseller, here is my daug Inter. :"
My. dear SIR said 4 candidate, ac-
costing sturdy wag Oh the day Of elsc,
ton, Z am very glad to see you. =
You needing be- replied the wag,
I've voted. - tt.F ga
-"Anything pite you dare? inquired
one Dutchman OF another, while engag-
ed in angling. No nothing al all.
Veil returned the other, mot ing
pite me too. - ~ ~
Single weddings" are becoming
fashionable. They occur when the first
child IS old enough to speak.
+ WASTE OF SYMPATHY. a lady Was
recently found weeping bitterly at the
ice house attached to Mt. Vernon, mis-
takingit fertile tomb. Of Washington
ItERY.-HFhy cannot an engine sit
down?
Ans. It has Tender Behind
QUERT 2ND.--Why has it ? tender
behind -~t----s- = - = E.a-@-5 s
Ans. lst. It has been ridden on a
rail. = EEss s Ev4 ..gn l-Esf
Ans End, and has been switched. ~
Tommy, my son, fetch IN stick
of wood. " All! my dear mother" re.
spondei tie youth, the GRAMMATICAL
portion Of your education has been sadly
neglected.. 9o,I should have said,
Thomas, Thomas, my son, transport
from that rccumbcnt collection. OF COM
bustibie' material upon the threshold OF
this ediGce one Of the curtalled eXcres-
cences OF defuBct log" .--
w -waiter, g4get me b-beef steak,
co-cooked rare "W-we have no b-beef
steak, ~ was the reply The country gen
t!eE.en getting angry at the idea of being
niimici,ed, rose, and was about leyellng
blow upon the impudcnt fellow, when
a second GLOW rushed and .exclaim-
ed, ''D-Dot't strike chat man; hes-tam-
niers the sesame as we do.
the tollowing is the conclusion OF
an ep!taph on tombstone IN East Ten
nessee: She lived a life Of virtue and
died Of the choleIa morbus, caused by
eating green fruit in thel full hope OF a
| blessed immortality, at the early age OF
Of u years, Z months and is days. Read
Ell go thou and 90 likewise"
| Does, the dentist kiss you when he
pulls Your teeth, pa?'
| No, nay son, why?'
| ooh, nothing; only he kissed ma,
and she said it took all the ache away,
and guess it did, fof-she laughed all
the way home" &-
-rAnd your fatber." said a bording-
school lad to his companion, mas only
sent you two dollars he must be a
mighty mean lnan.
| whenever my father sends, he never
thinks Of Offering me less than ten
How often does he send p
''Never." ETy ~ -
| running ACC'oU Nrs.-The valet OF 4
nan OF fashion c5uid get DO money from
him, and therefore told him that he
should seek another master, and begged
! he would pay tie arrears Of his wages.
| The gentleman, who liked his serva at,
and was DESTROYS of keeping him, said,
True, | am in your debt, bnt your
wages are running on That's the
very ching; answered the valet Il am
afraid they are running so fast that 1
Shall never catch them. 'g. a..-
Mother, IS it wicked to say dam !?
said sharp little boy.
Certainly, my .son-that would be
swearing.
HBut is it wicked to say Golfer dam p
"Oh no, my son-that Is the name Of
an inanimate otj3ct,like house OF table. =
''We:F, mother, " responded the young
/ horaiul, the old COW has got potato
ia her throat, and If She don t look out
she'll cot ef oioss herd Of.