The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1870-06-24
Jehial Slab OH the Marriage
f..tt., State. ts

in clover, ncw-mOwn hay, and heritage,
from nine to twelve months.
End. Some black, lascally stormy
night, the close Of the above epoch, you
are turned out into streets all ponds and
mill races, on amid snow eighteen inches
deep and drifting like blazcs. and told
to run for the doctor.
When you get home, little red-fan-
thing, about the size OF big
mcrino potatoe, e,undoubtedly awaits You.
They will call it a baby. Packed up
with it you will find the first real squalls
OF married life you can bet Oh that.
3D. paregoric, and soothing syrup,
and catnip tea. and long flannel, and
ldiapcr-stufl, and baby collie, and more
squalls : they will come along, too; in
fact, will become just as much ut home
lin the house as dinner.
4th. One of these days, in.
"The wee sha syont tie twa'"
YOU turn out again. This time you are
found barefoot, d;stractedly rocking
that baby back and forth, and bobbng
Iii up and down in Il caEc-seat chair; u
,shivcriDg. icy, disconsolatc sense Of
dampncss all about you; seat hard, only
Ia cotton shirt, or such n matter, nearer
than the bed to keep you warm, roaring
lmusically as wild bull i'll u slaughter
Iyard-
"We'rc coming. Father Abraham,
Three hundred thousand more"
I,abv al the time Yelling like mad
with bad pain, while Mary Anne. up
to her nose under the warm bed-eovcrs,
TO help out, every now and then linpa,i-
entity puts IN, just at the wrong place :
" trot Kim faster, Samuel"
And YOU trot him. oh how You DO
troi him. Ii you could only troi his
wind out so far that he never could get
any of it back again, or break his back,
or neck. or something, you would be
immcasurably happy.
But no. The little innocent is tougher
than an India rubber car-spring.
just Us you are about giving up con-
|cludine that YOU MUST frecZe--that there
will certainly have TO be funeral in the
house inside Of thirty-siX hours, baby
willis from sheer exhaustion, and then.
with teeth chatterng like a Mccormick
.reaper,you crawl in 10y Mary Ann again
and try to sleep.
9th. Gradually you glide away into
a tangled maze OF chcrry-lips,icc, steam
Iwhistle-voiccd babies. dimpied cheeks,
more ice, Nlay-fowc crs skating weather,
'clamonile, jockey-club. sleigh-rides,
lcrinolinc immense as the old bell at
Moscow, Indian ambuscades. chignons
like door mats. awful Grccian bends,
angels, snow-storms, and forty other
chcerful "reminiscences.
9th. A snort, u crash, a wild throw
II - In
then, keen and slrill, comes that terrible
l"Ah-wah. ah-waahw again. L guess
you wake up. don't you!
"Gct the paregoric and teaspoon,
, quick!' says Mary Ann. in a sharp, sta.
Icato tone, and don't YOU get IT!
In Just three-eighths Of a second you
larc a Grecian bend yourself out thers
on the cold foof, dropping parcgoric In
}. ia teaspoon.
Hurry! Oh. no: circumstances arc
mot such as TO make you hurry. any.
Gracious little Peter, he is describing
l1iabolic curves with all the arms and
,Ilccs he's got, and screaming 100 pounds
ito the square inch, and Mary Ann, shd
, is rareing around there in the bed, max.
ling rocking-chair of her back, ano
Ivelling byc-bye, o, like a wild Canaan
Ichc on the r-path-that's all.
> Nice, amt it!
And then TO think, as years roll on
There has got 10 be more yet of just sucl
!. distressed work.
u 9Th. Theu come the washing days, too
and The spring cloanings and movings--
'-lwhcn your books, and papers, and Gus
!, ,ard pies, and. tsaud plug hats, amt
f.lmolas ses, and feathers, and baby fixings
and pancake batter, all get stirred VI
: together ;whcn Mary Ann, dress tucke'
up. handkerchief around her head, broom
lin ono hand, mop i'm in the other, preti.
las cistcrn pole,tempcr searching as
dose Of ipicac, goes about hunting spl
lders' webs. and dirt, and grease spots
land such things, while Bridget, the in
Icyitablc Bridget, stopping soap suds al
: over everything. brings up the rear. ~
9Th. Then there is that mother-in-lav
r. Of YOURS, and the six or eight femai
7, cousins. They have Just: come over !,
siyisit a Bit, and each one has brought al
her band-boxes along. And that, toe
when you could so easily have sparc'
|all but the mother-in-law.
9th. And SO might run on and on
These things are thicker in such place
THAN little toads on q country road ate
!. n summer thunder-shower. You can
dodge them. !, They come with married
life lust as sure rs death and taxes.
Dad! Very bad, my friend. Only on
condition i'm the world much worse tho
I know Of. And that Is q don't mine