Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-11-17
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A PROMISING sreS-A pawp-broker',

year.
II man loses his breath it is no use to
run for 1t. He can catch it quicker by stand
ing still.
A PITTSBURGH husband returned home
the other day after an absence of fifteen
years.
A RHODE ISLAND mother has saved
money enough by washing to buy her
stylish daughter piano
A REMARKABLE marriage recently took
place in Rowley. N. H.. the bridegroom
being 80 years Of age and the bride 81.
Mr. CoBB has married Miss Webb He
knew that they were meant to be Joined as
soon as he spied her.
SWEET AND BITTER
IT'S sweet to court,
But, OH how bitter
To court gal
And then not git her.
THE State geologist of Ohio declares
that there are ten thousand square miles of
coal deposits in the State.
UMBERKLLERs fixt, and parosols mad
as good as knu" has been commenced on
East Second street, Oswego, N. Y.
WHEN Montana man gets to banker
ing for Office right smart" they elect him
Sheriff, and he lives just two days.
"PA, are cannibals people that live on
other folksg" Yes, my dear" Then, pa,
Uncle George Gust be a cannibal for ma
says he's always living on somebody"
AT the Georgia State Fair wealthy
bachelor saw beautiful young lady in
specting a new cook stove, sought an intro
duction, proposed, and was accepted-since
which all the girls crowd about the stove
department.
A LITTLE boy, hearing his father say,
There is time for all things" climbed up
behind his mothers chair, and, whispering
in her car asked: when is the proper
time for hooking sugar out of the sugar
BOWL"
HEARING q physician remark that
small blow would break the nose, rustic
exclaimed, "Well, dunno bout that, I've
blowed my nose number of times, and
never broke it yet"
A Slow TRArN.-Ticket Collector
"This your boy, num- He's too big for
a 'alf ticket "-Mother--" Ohy Is he.
Well, perhaps he is noto, mister; but he
wasn't when we started. This 'xcursion's
ever so many hours behind time an he's
growing lad So now"
THE La Crosse Lender is responsible for
the following mot long since, while
one Of the river boats was taking on some
live stock, among the lot was one large
gray mule, that refused 10 walk the
staging The mate sung out TO roustabout
to Twist his tail, and he'd come A cor
oner's jury have decided that the man came
to his death by obeying orders"
The Springfield Journal publishes
statement compiled in the office of the
A Y,li Of tot 4 lao of
hogs in Illinois, as shown by the assess
ment returns from the several counties of
the State for the year 1870 The total
number is 1920, G5i--which is nearly one
each to every man. woman and child in
the State--against 2,01S,13e i'm 1S69-an
increase of142.513.
FUsELI, the painter, had a great dislike
to the species of conversation known
as "tattle" Once, when sitting in his
room among some tritiing visitors who
were discussing the weather and such like
interesting subjects, he burst forth with a
I'VE had pork for dinner to day" Dear!
Mr.. Fuscli, what an odd remark ex-
claimed one. Why" replied he, it's as
good as anything you've been saying for
the last hour"
A LITTLE fellow some four or five years
Old and who had never seen q negro, was
greatly perplcxed one day when one came
to where he and his father were. The
youngster eyed the stranger suspciously
till he had passed. and then asked his
father. "Pa, who painted that man all
black sog' God did, my son." replied
the father. "Well," said the little one,
still looking after the negro, IL shouldn't
a thought he'd held still"
THIS is how warts come THE papil-
lornata (warts, condylomata, cpithelioma)
originate essentially in All active ncoplastic
process taking place in the rete, which
penetrates TO greater or less extent into
the likewise hyperkrophied connective
tissues matrix of the coriun. The papillR
Of the CUTS here, too, perform only pas
sivc role, their clongation and dendritic
form being occasioned by the hypotrophy
Of the epidermis while the elevation Of
the surface of the skin IL due tc the by
pertrophy Of both" Clear as mud isn't
ity
THE meancst man in Ottawa county,
Ohio says the Neaos, Ii n grape grower,
and lives on Catawba Island. His crop
was 10 large this year that he was Obliged
to employ number Of town girls 70 assist
in gathering his harvest, and who, he dis
covered, were so fond Of grapes that they
Woufu OCCitSiOHdity cat u lew. ~ prevent
this the grape grower came TO town and
purchased lot of wax which he presented
TO the girls, and informed them they must
"chaw that while picking"
A WEALTHY lady OF New York recently
went through an extraordinary perform
ancc. She gave out her engagement to a
gentleman In Washington, had the cards
sent out, the guests came In numbers, many
presents were sent in, the Clergyman was |
ready the bride waiting, but the groom |
came not. On an explanation being de-
nanded of the astonished gentleman, il |
appeared that the whole thing was delu- |
sion or an invention Of the ladys without |
the slightest knowledge on his part. 1t
was sad case of marriage on tie brain"
An eccentric though very excellent
clergyman of New England gavenotice at
the close of the service one Sunday, that
he expected to go on mission TO the
heather during the ensuing week. Alarmed
and sorrow stricken at the prospect Of los
ing their beloved pastor. the members Of
the church gathered around him, aud one
of the deacons. In great agitation, ex-
claimed: What shall we dor" "Oh,
Brother c." said the minister, with