New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-12-04

innocence printing them calmly and tran
gully in book. For instancc:
He states that he entered . hair dressers
n.Paxis to ret shaved, and the drst rake"
the barber eaye with his razor it looseaed
his sshidcr and lifted him osst ~ tie chair.
This is questionGbly exaggerated. In
Florence he was 20 annoyed by beggare that
a frantic spirit of revenge. There is, Of
course no truth in this. He gives at>full
length o theatrical programme seventeen
or eighteen years old, which he processes to
have found in the ruins Of the Coliseum
among the dirt and mould and rubbish. 1t
is sufficient comment upon this statement
to remark that even a castff6n programme
would not have lasted 80 long under such
circumstances. In Greece, he plainly be-
trays both fright and fight upon one occa-
sion, but with frozen effrontery puts the lat
ward the Pir@us." ''Sidled," indeed! He
does not hesitate to intimate that at Ephe-
sus, when his mule strayed from the proper
course, he got down, took him under bis
arm, carried him to the road again, pointed
him right, remOunted, and went to sleep
contentedly till it was time to restore the
beast to the path once more. He states
that a growing youth among his ships pas
sengers was in the constant habit of ap-
peasing his hunger with soap and oakum
between meals. In Palestine, he tells of
ants thai came eleven miles to spend the
summer in the desert and brought their pro-
visions with them, yet he shows, by his de-
scription of the country, that the feat was
an impOssibility. He mentions, as if it were
the most commonplace Of matters, that he
cut MOslem in two in broad daylight in
Jerusalem, with Godfrey de Bouillon's
sword, and would have shed more blood
If he had had a graveyard of his 0,rm. These
statements are unworthy a moments atten-
ton. Mr.. Twain, or any other foreigner,
who did such thing in Jerusalem, would
life: But why 60 on! Why repeat more
of his audacious and exasperating false
hoodss Let us close fittingly with this one:
He affirms that Sin the mosque Of st. Sophia,
at Constantinople, got my feet so stuck up
with complication Of gums, slime, an
general impurity, that I sr0re out more than
fro thousand pail, of bootiacks getting my
boots off that night, and even then some
Christian hide peeled off with them 1t is
monstrOus. Such statements are simply
po other name for them. Will
nOrance that pervades the American nation
when we tell him that we are informed upon
perfectly good authority that this extrava-
giant compilation of falsehoOds, this exhaust
less mine of stupend0us lies, this ''Inn0cents
Abroad" has actually been adopted by the
schools and colleges Of several Of the States
as textbook!
But if his falsehoOds are distressing, his
innocence and bis ignorance are enough to
make one burn the book and despise the
author. In one place he was go appalled, at
ssVIA nnyA n<
by the moonlight, that he jumped
out of window, going through sash and all,
and then remarks with the most childlike
that he "was not scared, but was
agitated." 1t puts us out of
patience to note that the simpleton is Dense
" unconscious that Lucrezia BOrgia ever
existed off the stage. Hell vulgarly ignorant
Of all foreign languages, but is frank enough
to criticise the Italians use of their own
tongue. He says they spell the name of
their great painter "vinci, but pronounce it
possible only to helpless ignorance, :" for
cigaers ALWAYS spell better than they pro-
In another place he commits the
bald absurdity Of putting the phrase tare
an Gums" into an Italians mouth. In Rome
be unhesitatingly believes the legend that
st. Philip Neri's heart was 80 infamed with
divine love that it burst his ribs-believesit
wholly because an author with q learned
list Of university degrees strung after his
name ind0rses it" otherwise" says this
gentle idiot, 81 should have felt curiosity
20 know what Philip had for dinner" Our
!uthor makes long, fatiguing journey to
he Grotto del Cane on purpose to test its
poisoning powers on dog-got deliberately
eady for the experiment, and then discov-
red that he had no dog. A wiser person
would have kept such q thing directly to
himself, but with this harmless creature
comes out. He hurts his foot in
rut two thousand years old in exhumed
'0mpeii, and presently, when staring at one
f the cinder-like corpse unearthed in the
ext SQUARE, cOnceives the idea that may be !
and straight way his horror soft |
MS down to sort Of chirpy eontentment |
nth the condition of things. In Damascus
e visits the well of Ananias, three thou |
and years old, and is as surprised and de- |
GIFTED as child to find that the water is |
as pure and fresh as if the well had been |
ug yesterday" In the Holy Land he gags |
at the hard Arabic and Hebrew
iblical names, and finally concludes to call |
1em Baldwinsville, Williamsburgh, and SO
q. "for convenience ofspeling!'
We have thus spoken freely of this mans |
;upefying simplicity and innocence, but we |
an not deal similarly with his colossal
,norance. We do not know where to begin.
nd if we knew where to begin, we GER
liAly would not know where to leave of.
Ie will give one specimen, and one only
e did not know, until he got to Rome,
lat Michael Angelo was dead! And then,
lstead OF crawling away and hiding his
,ameful ignorance somewhere, he proceeds
express pi0us, grateful sort of satisfac-
on that he is gone and out of his troubles
M fhA rpodor mn aaolr nvvtk 0,n ,,kl, !
ambitions of his uncultivation for himself.
he book is absolutely dangerous, consider
g the magnitude and variety of it's mis-
atements, and the convincing confidence
18th which they are made. And vet it is a
xt-book in the schools Of America.
The poor blunderer mOuses among the
lblime creations Of the Old Masters, trying
acquire the elegant proficiency in art
aowledge, which he has cropping sort of
is proper thing for the
aveled man to be able to display. But
hat is the manner Of his study. And
hat is the progress he achieves? To what
tent does he familiarize himself with the
eat pictures of Italy, and what degree of
appreciation does he arrive at ? Read:
"When we see monk going about with a
IN and looking up into heaven, we know
at that is st. Mark. When we see monk
it'll book and a pen, locking TRANQUILITY
} to heaven, trying to think Of word, we
low that that is st. Matthew. When we
e monk sitting on a rock, looking tran
lilly up to heaven, with a human skull be-
lie him, and without other baggage, we
low that that is st. Jerome Because we
low that he always went flying light in the
after Of baggage. When we see other
Onks looking TRANQUILITY up to heaven, but
wing no trademark, we always ask who
Ose parties are. We do this because we
lmbly wish to learn"
He then enumerates the thousands and |