Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-12-01


great agony, and sofOrth, and soforth, and lot
more bosh Of the same sort. And the Indepen-
dents tried hard to swallow the wretched subter-
fuge and pretend that they did not know what scds
the real reason Of the absence OF the abandoned
creature whom they denominate their standard
bearer. A certain man was seen to reel into Mr..
Twain's hotel last night in state of beastly in
toxication. 1t is the imperative duty Of the indie
pendents to prove that this besOtted brute was
not Mark Twain himself We have them at last
This is q case that admits Of no Sinking. The
voice Of the people demands in thunder-tones
WHO was that man!'
1t was incredible, absolutely incredible,
for moment, that it was really my name
that was coupled with this disgraceful sus-
picion Three long years had passed over
my head since had tasted ale, beer, wine
or liquor of any kind.
1t shows what effect the times were
having on me when / say that saw my
self confidently dubbed "Mr. Delirium
Tremens Twain" in the next issue of that
journal without apang-notwithstandin
knew that with mOnOtonous fidelity the
paper would 60 on calling me SO to the
very end.
BY this time anonymous letters were
getting to be an important part of my mail
matter. This form was common:
How about that old woman you kiked off your
premises which was begging.
Pol PRY.
And this:
There is things which you have done which ia
unbeknowens to anybody but me- You better trot
out few dolls. to yours truly or you'll hear thro'
the papers from HANDY ANDY.
That is about the idea. l could continue
them till the reader was surfeited, if desi-
rable.
Shortly after the principal Republican
journal convicted me of wholesale brib-
c,.I Re- IN
nailed an aggravating case of blackmail-
ing to me.
In this way acquired two additional
names: Twain, the Filthy Corruption
list" and "Twain, the Loathsome En-
bracer"1
BY this time there had grown to be such
clamor for an answer" to all the dread
full charges that were laid to me, that the
editors and leaders of my party said it
would be political ruin to me to remain
silent any longer AS if to make their APP
peal the more imperative, the following
appeared in one of the papers the very
next day:
still maintains silence. Because he dare not
speak. Every accusation against him has been
amply proved, and they have been endorsed and
re-endOrsed by bis own eloquent silence. till at
this day he stands forever convicted. Look upon
your candidate, Independents! Look upon the
Infamous Perjurerl the Montana Thief! the Body
Tremens! your Filthy Corruptionistl your Loath-
some Embracerl Gaze upon him-ponder him
well-and then say if you can give your honest
ray Of titles by his hdeous crimes, and dares not
open his mouth in denial of any one of them!
There was no possible way of getting out
of it, and so in deep humiliation / set
about preparing to "answer" mass of
baseless charges and mean and wicked
falsehoods. But never finished the task.
for the very next morning a paper came
out with new horror, fresh malignity,
and seriously charged me with burning a
lunatic asylum with all its inmates because
it INSTRUCTED the view from my house.
This threw me into sort of panic. Then
came the charge of poisoning my uncle to
get his property, with an imperative de-
mand that the grave should be opened.
This drove me to the verge of distraction.
On top of this | was accused Of employing
toothless and incompetent old relatives to
prepare the food for the founding
hospital when / was warden. | was
Notwithstanding And at last,
as a due and fitting climax to the shame
less persecution that party rancor had in
flicted upon me, nine little toddling
children Of all shades and color and de-
grees of raggedness were taught to rush on
to the platform at public meeting and
clasp me around the legs and call me PA!
/ gave up / hauled down my colors
and surrendered. l was not equal to the
requirements Of a Gubernatorial campaign
in the State of New York, and so sent
in my withdrawal from the candidacy, and
in bitterness of spirit signed it,
"Truly yours,
"Once decent man, but now
MARK TWAIN, l. P, M. T., B. S., d. T.,
F. c., and l.. i"