Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-04-29
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

AFTER the principal thing is the inter.
est
OFTEN a Light Repast--Mental food.
THE Quickest Trip--On an orange peel.
THE Woman Question-What did she
have on?
To FIND the height of ambition-mea-
sure the man.
THE real central criminal courtroom
science.
MONEY spent for Life Insurance in the
Washington is money saved.
WHAT is it you must keep after giving
it to another? Your word.
To SOUND the depth of the mind-Bore
a hole through the skull. al.l (.
HE that hath revenge in his power and
does not use it Is a great man.
WHY cannot family of girls be photo
graphed Because there's no son (sun.)
"YoU don't look a-miss," as the young
lady said to her beau when he got her
bonnet on.
DOM P1ArT says remorse generally
means the grief of the criminal at being
caught. i
He who pokes his nose everywhere will
sometimes poke it between thumb and
fore finger.
WHY is an ear of wheat and an oak
similar in origin! Because they both
spring from corn.
PREMIUMS, policies and dividends paid
in cash in the Washington Life Insurance
Company, of New York.
A MOTHER wants to know whether
Charles Kingsley's "Water Babies were
crooked in the cradle Of the deep" p
New BEDFORD brags of pointer that
came to dead stand the other day before
door-plate inscribed "a Partridge"
THERE is good sense in this "new mot
to for merchants"
g. Late to bed, and early to rise,
a Never get tight--and adFertise'"
A MAINE doctor, applying for position
as an examiner of a life insurance COM
pany, replied to the question as to the
system Oh which he practiced: On the
human system" -....- .4-si.,i.s
"ALb morning bitters have heating
tendency or effect" said a doctor to a
young lady. You will except bitter
cold morning, won't you, doctor ?" in
quired the lady.
You ought to acquire the faculty of
being at home in the best society,"" said q
fashionable aunt to an honest nephew.
" l manage that easy enough" responded
the nephew, by staying at home with
my wife and Children ~
A FAcETIoUs boy asked one of his play
mates why a hardware dealer was like q
bootmaker? The latter, somewhat puz-
zled, gave it up. "Why," said the other,
because the one sold the nails and the
other nailed the soles."
A FEW names of postof1ces in the
United States: Zitt, Yolo, Yew, Way,
Wea, Veto, Vera, Velp, Toto, Tawawa,
Sun, Soho, Rip Shin, Rio, RE, Quonoc-
hontaug, Poy Sippi, Palo, Poe, Pc, Pine
Log, Paw Paw, Pay Down, Otto, Ono,
Ola, Nolo, Doko, All, Aid, We Woka, and
Weyauwega. 4
A WRITER once heard speech deliver
ed before a company of neWsboys and
bootblacks as follows: "My dear chill
dren: You should be good because it is
so good to be good; you should not be
bad because it is SO bad to be bad. If you
are good, you will feel as good as do; if
you are bad you will feel as bad as you
do.h
w IL DAloSOo, oAlu d Allo6lCocJ VIM
wished to rally her girl for the amuse-
ment of her company upon the fantasti-.
cal ornamentation of pie, "why bless
me did you do this? You are quite an
artist; how did you do it 2" Indeed,
mum, it was myself that done it," replied
Bridget; {" aint it purity? Faith, I did it
with yer false teeth, mump'
A DUToH woman kept q toll gate One
foggy day traveller asked: MADAME,
how far is it to I" Shoost leetle ways"
was the reply. Eyes; but how far?"
again asked the traveller. "shoost leetze
way" more emphatically. Madame, is
it one, taco, three, four, or foe miles ?" The
good woman ingeniously replied, II
drinks 1T isl"
II THINK" said Mr.. A. Bronson Alcott
once, in conversation, "that when man
lives on beef he becomes something like
an OK; if he eats mutton he begins to look
sheepish, and if he eats pork, may he not
grow to be swinish?" "That may be-"
said DR.. Walker, of Cambridge, "but when
man lives on nothing but vegetables,
think he's apt to be pretty small pot0-
toes ="