Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-02-25

dend than the washington at the same |
period of its history, and no company
stands to-day on frmer basis Of Sc
curity.
WELL EARNED - N,4 -A'--- |
Johns wife and j ohm were tete-a,tete; |
She witty was, industrious he;
y Says John, Eve earned the bread we've ate :" |
And l." says she, have uTned the tea" |
"Where are you going ?" said Scotch |
gentleman to a thief, whom he observed |
crawling through hole in his garden |
wall. Back again." replied Sawney, as
he hastily retreated. rln 1I1T1
"A HoRRID man expresses the opinion |
that giving the ballot to woman win not |
amount to much, for none of them will |
admit that they are old enough to vote
until they are too old to take any interest |
in politics. Oh, the wretch
AN impulsive young man in Hampshire,
Mass, at a church revival meeting, the
other night, prayed that God would bless
the two young ladies between whom he
had been sitting, especially the one on
the right" -@t ott 81
How TO WRITE RIaHT-
Write we know Is written right
When we see it written write
But when we see it written wright,
We know tits not then written right
For write, to have it written right,
+ Must not be written right nor wright,
Nor yet should it be written rite,
But write-for so tits written right
POLITE Good morning,
sir. How do you find yourself, to-day?"
Deaf Gentleman-",Very stormy and
disagreeable." Polite Gentleman (slightly
astonished but determined to recover lost
ground" Indeed! How is your good
wife, 81 sir?" Deaf Gentleman" Very
clustering indeed" '0 I"'"
A BRIDE who had been entrapped into
marrying worthless fellow, and had been
taken to his cabin, berated him for living
| to her on two different occasions about his
three-story house. "But, you see, my
dear, this house is one story, isn't it?" he
| asked. Yes, and only one." "Well,
then the two stories told you make three,
| don't they?'
ADowN-EAsT paper says that persuasive
and humbugging agents are about in that
region selling lightning rods One old
lady told an agent she had no fear of
lightning, but she had always been afraid
of thunder. "Just So" he replied, 1--WE
| can meet your case exactly. The square
rods are lightning rods, and the round
ones hunder-rods. Of course she is now
protected"
| A NEwLY-MARRIED lady in Chicago COM
planned to her ma that on her reception
day her card basket was overrun with
circulars from lawyers, announcing terms
for divorce. $50 absurd, you know, ma,
before our honeymoon is over" "True,
DEAR" replied ma, who had been twice
divorced, but, I'd put them in a safe
place; you may find them very useful in
year or two" S--'---b & IA ~ III
TAKEN AT HER WoRD.-The late Rev.
DIR. Wightman was supplemented Scot
fish divine of the old school. When q
young man he paid his addresses to a
young lady in the parish, and his suit was
accepted on the condition that it met the
approval of the lady's mother. Accord
ingly the doctor waited upon the matron !;
and, stating his case, the good woman, de-
lighted at the proposal, passed. the usual
Scottish compliment, deed, Doctor, you
are far owre guild for our Janet. I'm sure
she's no guild emo for ye." "Weel, weel,"
was the rejoinder, rye ken best so we'll
say nae mair about it." No more was
said, and the social intercourse of the par
ties continued on the same footing as be-
fore. About forty years after DR.. Wight
man died bachelor and the lady an old
maid.
A GENTLEMAN in Alabama, in exerting
himself one day felt sudden pain, and
fearing his internal machinery had been
thrown out of gear, sent for negro on
his plantation, who made some preten-
sions to medical skill, to prescribe for
him. The negro having investigated the
case, prepared and administered dose to
his patient, with the utmost confidence of
a speedy cure. No relief being experienc-
ed, however, the gentleman sent for a
physician, who, on arriving, inquired of
the negro what medicine he had given his
master. Bob promptly responded, 'Rosin
and alum, sill" "What did you give them
for?" continued the doctor, Why" re.
piled Bob, the alum to draw the parts
togedder, and de rosin to solder 'em."
The patient eventually recovered.
THE London Atleneuan tells the follow
ing story: "Mr. Brown let us call him,
the proprietor of, shall we say, the Kitchen
Sumner, was dissatisfied with his novelist,
Mr.. Jones, and told him so. Jones was
then halfway through a romance which
appeared in weekly dribblets, but Brown
gave him notice to quit at once, and added
that he had engaged Mr.. Robinson to go
on with and complete the story. Jones
accepted the warning, but remarked that,
| as he had sufficient manuscript copy to
supply the chapters for the next number,
they had better be set up, after which Mr.
Robinson might take up the thread of the
story and get to the end of it. Brown
consented, and went down to his ssubur-
ban retreat, whittier was forwarded to
him the next number of the Sumner, with
Jones chapters, from which Robinson was
to continue the narrative. If Brown pos
sessed true critical faculty, he must have
admired the inventive power of his own
hired writer, and have doubted whether
Robinson would be equal to the present
emergency. In short, Jones, having col
lected every living parsonage and animal
he had named in the novel, put them all
on board of a ship bound for America,
and sent the whole of them-ship, freight
and passengers down to the very bottom
of the Atlantic, never to be brought up
again. The words To be continued at
the close Of the chapter, formed challenge
to the ingenuity of Robinson, which he
was too i'll qualified TO accept, and accord
ingly the story remains somewhat unfin-
ished, and as forgotten as the author who
stopped and the writer who could not set
it going again.