National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1870-03-04
Tie District .SEOOlmdster.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

There IL one man in this basement
world that | always look upon with
mkt feelings ov pity and respect.
But there IL one man in this world
to whom alwas take oph my hat.
and remain uncovered until he gets
safely by, and that is the dlstrikt
skOOlmaSter.
When | meet him, ! look upon
him az marter inst returned from
the stake, or on his way thare to be
cooked.
lie leads mere lonesum single
life than an old bachelor and more
anxious one than an old made.
He IL remembered Just about as
long and aifcctionatcly az IL glide
board IL by a travelling pack ped.
delr.
If he undertakes tcw make his
scholars luv him the chances are he
will neglect their larnin; and if he
don't lick them now and then pret-
ty often, they will lick him.
The distrikt schoolmaster amt
got friend on the flat side ov earth.
The boys SNOWFALL him durin recess,
the girls put water in his hair die,
and the sliOol committee makes him
work for half the money a bartender
gifts. and board him around the
naborhood where they give him rhy
coffee, SWeatcned with mOlaSSeS. tew
drink, and kodiish bawls three times
day for vittlcs.
And with all this abuse, | never
heard ov a diStrikt skoolmaStcr
swearing any louder than-Condcmn
it.
Don't talk to me abont the pa
Shuncc of anshunt Job. job had
pretty plenty ov biles all over him,
no doubt, bat they were awl ov
one breed.
Every one in a district school IL a
bile Of Il different breed, and each
young one need a different kind ov
poultlss tew get good head on
them.
\ distrilit skoolmaster who duz
square JOB takes his Goldfish balls
revently, IL a better man tew hav
lieing around loose than Solomon
would be, arrayed in all his glory.
Solomon was better at writing
proverbs and managing Il large
family than he would be tew navi.
gate Il district SchoolhouSe.
Emmy man who haz kept a dis
trikt skool for ten years, and board.
ed around the neiahborhood. ought
to be made Il major general and
have pensuhn for the rest ov hi2
natral days, and a horse and wagin
tew dew hiz going around in.
But az Il general consequence il
district Skool master amt got no
more warm friends than an Old
blind fox hound haZ.
He IL just about az wclkum az a
tax gather IL.
He is respected a good deal az a
man is whom we owe debt OF 30
dollars tew and don't mean tcw pay.
He goes through life on Il back
road, AZ poor as a wood sled, and
finally liz missed but what ever
bekums Of hiz remains | kant tell.
Fortunately, he IL not often sen
Sitive man; if he was he couldn't
emmy more keep distrikt sko0l
than he could file a kross kut saw.
VIII il it that these men and
wimmjn. who uaShnntlV- and with
craZed brane, teach our feinOiScieSS
bratS the teiuS meaning OF the alpha
bet, who take the welding heat ov
our dcstinycs, who lay the stepping
stone and encuridgc them to mount
upwards. who hay don more hard
and mean work than emmy ilasS on
the futSto0l, who have prayed over
the rcpr0bate, strengthened the
tiInid, restrained tie outrageous
and ilattcrcd the imbccile, who had
lived on kodish and vale coilce, and
hant been heard to sweaI-wi IL ii
that they are treated like avagrant
fiddler, danced to for II night and
paid oph in the morning, and eager
~ forgotten z
| had rather burn coal pit or
keep the fys out ov butchers
shop in the month OF August than
mcddle with the diStrikt shoOl biz.
ness New York Weekly.
What does happy mean y little
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