The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-09-30

himself, says:
"ln a few years, thought !, that in
FAINT will be an ornament to society: bat
had she not better die ? Very soon they
will tic SOON dead mans hair to the
back of her head, fasten her ribs with
corset, and hang brid-cage around her
lower limbs. Worse than that, when
she arrives at maturity she will be com
PEELED 10 determine whether she is for4
protection or free trade, TO comprehend
the m, sterics Of the Coolic question, and
to understand the intricacics of pig iron,
and go to the polls and vote. Alas in
the coming age had we not better be
without women
THE following scene recently occur
red between Judge and Dutch wit
ness:
"What is your native lansuagc7'
IL pc no native"
"What is your mothc: tongue T.
"Ich habno mudder, mynhecr."
In an irritable tone) "What did
yoa first learnR What language in the
cradle ~
81 It'd not speak no language IN the
cradle; / only cry in Dooch,"
Then there was general laugh, in
which the judge, jury, and audience
Joined. The Witness 'was not laterro-
gated no further about bis native Ian
guage. a sg ~ "a
JIl. . 80, :, oo,,,,,,;,tod oni,iln
by hangingahefself toan apple tree. AT
the funeral ncighbor, noticing the sad
appearance Of the husband, consolcd him
by saying that he had met with terri
bic loss. Eyes says the husband, heav
ing sigh. "Shc must have kicked
like thunder to shake off six bushels Of
green apples that would have been
worth a dollar a bushel when they got
lipc.s' A~
Tears and Laughter Providence
mad both tears and laughter, and both
for kind purposes for as laughter en-
abes mirth and surprise to braclhe free
~, so tears enable sorrow to vent Itself
patiently. Tears hinder sorrow from
becoming despair and madness and
laughter is one Of the very privileges Of
reason, being conliacd to the human
species.
Two Young misses, discussing the
qualities of some young gentlemen, we're
overheard thus: We'll, ike Charley,
bat lie is iule girIish he hasn't got
the least bit of beard 4 say Charley
has got a beard but he shaves it off
No, he hasn't either; any more than
have Il say he has, too, and know
it; for it plivkod my check That's
how she knew.
A voung,,cr, after deep meditation,
broke out to his father: Pa know
why negroes have white soIcs to their
feet and white palms to their hands
When The first colorcd man was made,
he stood on all fours while God was
painting him =
4 writer Of a love tale in describing
his heroine. says: "lnnoccncc dwels in
the rich curls of her dark hair. A
critic, commenting on The passage, says:
Sorry to hecr it think it stands per
iIous chance Of being combed out,
a Cookery tourist met Scotch Iassie
going barefoot towards Glasgow =
Classic, said he, 81 should like to know
if all the people in ,his part go barefoot
ed Il" Part on 'om DO, and the rest ON
'cm mind their own business was the
laller seltljrS reply.
Belfast, Maine, is happy in the pos
session of the Passage osawaukeag Base
Ball Club. Whcnthcy 80 to "a match
they take an extra stage coach to bril
alorg the name.
Should misfortune overtakc you, re-
trench, work harder, but never fly;
confront difficulties Ayith unhinehing per-
severance; should you then fall yon
will be honored; but shrink, and you
will be. dcspi8cd.
Ifthr.snn is going down, look up to the
stars; if the eartAyis dark, keep your
eyes oaheaxt rr.-aNith Gods presence
and Gods -premise.aa man Or child may
be cheerful.
There is voice from the tomb,
swcctcr than Sung; there is remem-
brancc of the dead to which we turn,
even from the charm of the living
= uotbcr The holy thoughts and