South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1870-07-08

OBJECT PREAcHING.'-Whitefeld pro-
duced great effect upon his hears on one &C.
casion by an illustration which appealed to
the eye as well as to the ear. rYou seem
TO think salvation an easy matter. o lust
as easy for me to catch that insect passing
by me- He made grasp at fly, real or
imaginary. Then he paused moment
and opened his hand-'But / have miss.
cd itp
@-A lady passing along tho street, was
met by young man, who, in passing, step
ped on her dress. Turning to the lady, lac
remarked, Hoops take up too much ROOM
10 which the lady quickly replied, 'Not so
much as whiskey, sir, and passed on.
BE TRUsTY AND TRUE-When Lord
Wellington was commander of an army in
India a certain rich man offered him five
hundred thousand dollars for some secret
information on very important question.
Wellington looked thoughtfully few mo-
ments, as if he was weighing the tempta-
ton. But he was not. He was only con-
sidering the best way to answer his tempt
er At length he said
lit appears that you can keep a secret,
sir ?
Certainly replied the man, feeling sure
he had gained his point
$50 can T. rejoined Wellington. Good
morning, sir And the man went away
with chop fallen air.
Thus, you see, Wellington was proof a
gainst corruption. He rejected a JriJe
eta haT million Of dollars Wasn't that
noble? Yes. Very good. Stick a pin
IN this fact and make this resolution:
Il will be true aud trusty too. 1 will
never betray my trust. Millions of money
shall never buy me to do wrong
Make this resolution and keep it, nv
children, and you will always respect your
selves and be respected by others. You will
never cheat nor steal You will never be
robbers of banks nor betrayers of trust
You will be trusty and true.
ET- We thus condense a soul narrowing
story going the rounds: Man and wife
man went away-printer sent bill-wife o.
pened Husband returned-found wife
in tears-scene brute-dishonest man
don't pay for paper-go to Indiana-di-
vorce-husband settles up--wife all smiles
grand finale, rushing into each others
arms-moral, always pay for your paper.
ESI believe in going to the bottom of
things as the school-marm said when she
laid refractory pupil over her knee.
RyA miserable Old bachelor observes
that he looks under the marriage head for
the news of the weak.
ETA student in one of our State collie
ges was charged by the Faculty with having
had barrel of ale deposited in his room,
contrary, of course, to rule and custom
lie received a summons to appear before
the President, who said Sir, / am in
formed that you have barrel of ale in your
room Eyes, SIR what explanation can
you make :? why, the fact is, sir, my
physician advised me to try little ale each
day, as tonic, and not wishing to stop, at
the various places where this beverage is
rotailed, | concluded to have a barrel taken
to my room Indeed And have YOU
derived any benefit from it? 'Ah yes,
sir. When the barrel was first taken to
my room, two weeks since, l could scarce.
ly lift it. Now l can carry it with the
greatest ease
RIA lawyer retained in a case Of as
sault and battery, was cross-ezaminiug o
witness in relation to the force Of blow.
what kind of blow was given 2 ask.
cd the lawyer
"a blow Of the common kind
Describe tho blow
q am not good at description
show me what kind Of a blow it was
Il can't
you must
q won't
The lawyer appealed to the court. The
court told the witness that if tho counsel
insisted upon his showing what kind Of
blow it was he must do So
Doyou insist upon itY asked the witness.
II do
We'll, then since you compel me to show
you, it was this kind Of a blow . at the
eamc time, suitiDg the act to the word, he
knocked over tho astonishcd disciple Of
Cooke and Littloton.
Ef~A sick man in Boston, who noticed