The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-06-03
GLEANINGS.

fifty bushels 10 the acre, worth SIPS.
- Love has been defined as an insane
desire to maintain somebody elsc's
daughter.
- An anatomical observer asserted a
few days since that there were 4S9, 90l
feathers on the wing n butterfly. 81
don't believe it," said one ofhis hearers.
Then count them for yourself was
the reply.
- That is good enactment pro2os-
ell in Albany to punish by fine and i'm
prisonment the defacing of books that
are the property of public libraries.
This is n mean oflense that it has been
found difficult to punish as it deserves.
- Winnie Ream seems to be In de-
mand at Paris, and not only Pere Hy
acinthe, Gin bad odor Just now,) but the
busts of General Fremont, Meredith
Read, Mr.. Washbourne, and Gustavt
Dore are said TO be under her irressist-
iblc hands.
= The Milwaukee Temperance So
ciety has formally thanked Governor
Fairchild, of Wisconsin, "for his ex-
ample of total abstinence before IT,
citizens, and particularly for the influ.
ence it should have upon the young
men of the State
A Pittsfield, Mass, man lost
his hammer. He gave one of his boys "a
sound finishing for losing it. Not LON.
after the father found the missing ham
mer where he had left it. "Never
mind" said he, trying to console the
boy and his conscience, "'whiPpiDg
never come amiss,'
A resident of Prospect Conn.
claims TO have the oldest set of American
manufactured buttons in the country
They are vest buttons, of silver, mad
in l167, and he asserts that his grand
father 'worc out twenty-seven differ
ent vests with them, and that they are
good for another hundred years ~
least"
- One of the hours each day wasted
on triiies or Incidence, saved and devoted
TO Improvement, is enough 10 make al
ignorant man wise in ten years--to
provide the luxury OF intelligence TO "a
mind torpid from the want of thought
to brighten up and strengthen facul-
ties perishinS with rustic make life
a fruitful field, and death n harvester OF
glorions deeds.
= In little town out West a LADY
teacher was exercising a class of juven-
lies in mental arithmetic. She com
menced the question, "If you buy n COW
for ten dollars" when up came little
hand. What is it Johnny z" "Why.
you can't buy no kind of COW for ten
dollars; father sold one for sixty dol
lars the other day, and she was regu-
lar old scrub at thatI'
The other day MoIecule propound-
ed the following to Atom: 81 A boy said
to gentleman, MY father and mother
have daughter, but she is not my sis
ter Now how can you explain that?"
Atom reflected, but all in vain. To
every suggestion MoIecule replied by a
mild but decided negative. AT length
Atom was forced TO give up. Why,
it's simple enough said Moiecuie, with
an exaspcrating smile; ''the boy liedr'
= Jessie Williams had been doing
something which her mamma had told
her she mustn't do. She had been eat
ing eurrants, and, of course, got her
mouth all stained mp; that's the way
she got found out. Mrs. Williams said.
. You Know you were forbidden to eat
But mother, Satan tempted
me !" Why didn't you say, get thee
behind me, Satan q 'I did say, Get thee
behind me, Satan;' and he went and got
behind me, and pushed me right into
the currant-bushes!y
- A saloon-keeper of questionable
honesty went to a lawyer TO consult
him about commencing an action of de-
ismation against a acknowledgements
1.-The scoundrel," said he fiefcely, 4shas
robbed me of my character!S1 Alb, has
her are you sure of that fact p replied
the green-sachel gentleman quickly
and in a sarcastic tone. .If 60, for
Heavens sake let him go; for 1t is the
uckiest thing that ever happened to
YOU" The fellow sneaked out OF the
office ike puppy when a foot is raised
against him. sq 9lii trt, JIi
~ Hon William ID. Kelley, having
lecn requested to reconsider his de-
not again TO be a candidate
Tor Congress, has consented to do so,
provided that the Republicans Of his
district elect a nominating conversation
which shall approve a proper Civil Ser,
vice ball. and instruct the candidate
nominated to make its principles his
'ule of action if elected or shall
ldopt a resolution deprecating the in
erference of Representatives in the
election of subordinate employees in
he public Offices and workshops,
"A company has been formed in
'aFis TO carry out a really novel idea
n the way OF advertising. The COM
'any takes lease os one window i'm
he second or third story of q house in
prominent street. or boulevard.
from dusk till after midnight, a trans
'arency, brightly lit up, on a sea-green
round, sets forth the advertisements
on can arrange either for a display
nee W eek or a whole week, &c, al
IL any OF the widows IN the
everal quarters possessed by the eom-
any. io .7" 's