The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-07-01

awaits not far ahead, unless the price of
corn is greatly reduced the present year
by abundant crops in other sections Of
the country, for it is estimated that the
amount of corn planted in this county
will not more than half supply the pco-
pie, even if the season should be ia
vorable onc.-Etberton Gazette.
An illiterate negro preacher said to
bis congregation, ''My brethren when
the fust man Adam was made, he was
made OBJ wet clay, and set up asin de
palings to dry"
"Do you say" asked one of the con-
gregation, "dat Adam was made oh wet
clay, and set up agin do palings to
dry?"
eyes, sar, do"
"Who made dc palings ~
"Sit down, sar," said the preacher,
sternly, "Such questions as dat would
upset any system OF teology."
Two men will start together in. life,
the one keeping his head cool with wa
ter, the other muddling his with liquor.
At the end of ten years, the former will
have achieved success, the latter vii! be
dropping into drunkard's grave; but
just before he drops, you'llhear him say
astonishing what difference 'cr is in
life That Teller started same's | did,
nm everything he touched turned to gop;
and everything l touched turned to
ashcs-'stonishing what difference 'er
is in life"
WE are generally losers, in the end,
five stop to refute all backbitings and
gossipings we may hear by the way
They are annoying, it is true but not
dangerous-so long as we do not stop to
expostulUte and scold. Our characters
arc formed and sustained by ourselves
by own actions and purposes ;-Calum-
niators may usually be trusted to time,
and the slow but pretty sure justice Of
public opinion"
INFLUENCE OF THEATRES. The New
York Tribune says sit begins to be real
ized-as definite, practical idea-that
good theatres are salutary institutions in
large city; that they augment public
security by cheering the minds of the
masses and that they SOW the seeds of
education in all good thoughts which
which they scatter abroad and all wor
thy impulses which they prompt"
SECRETs.-Thc only way of keeping a
secret is to forget it as soon as COM
municated. You may have consider
able reputation for consistency in this
matter, thus easily acquired. The only
secret worth knowing in this life is, how
one man can contrive to be better than
another; all the rest is mere alchemy.
Lawyers have a ludicrious habit of
identifying themselves with their clients
by speaking in the plural number
"GentlemOn of the jury" said western
lawyer, at the moment the policeman
says he saw as in trap, | will prove
that we were locked up in the station
house, in a state Of intoxicaton."
We recently met grammarian, says
California paper, who had just made
tour through the mines, conjugating, or
rather cogitating, thus; positive,
mine; comparative, miner; supcrlatiye,
minus !"
A little girl being asked by her Sun
day school teacher, ''What did the Is
raelites do after passing through the Red
Sea 7" answered, II don't know, ma'am
but guess they dried thcmscIyes."-
Why mott
"What branch of education do you
have chiefly in your school ~ "A will
low branch, sir: the master has used up
almost whole tree
People from Wyoming don't know
whether to call their female Judge
4 Justicess-of-thc-Peace or a Justice-ot-
the-Peacess.
A Schoolmaster, on being asked what
was meant BY the word ''fortifcation,"
answered, 1.-TWO twentifcations make
. one ratification
Il have turned many a womans
head" boosted young nobleman of
France. EYES," replied Tallcyrand,
''away from you"
81 have not loved lightly" as the man
said when he married a widow weighing
t'rcc hundred '}