Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-11-29
TERENCE McGRAST.
Ulisses Sick - The McGarrahan
Claim-An Effort TO Cheat the
President.


Claim-An Effort TO Cheat the
President.
Correspondence of the New York Democrat.
WASHINGTON, Novimber Sivinteen.-
Misther Pummery-Ye mind toWld yez
in me lasht lether how was afther win
ming large quantity of money from me
cousin Uisses on the result of the cleo
ton. Well, Icouldn'tfnd it in me heart TO
kape it. If there is one thing j am noted
for, it IS me charity to those in affiictiOn,
and the loss of money afliicts me cousin
worse nor onything. l gave back the
greater part of the money 10 him freely
ard Willingly, as socn as he towld me if
/ didn't do so he would turn meself and
Bridget out of the White House, on to
the coWld charities of the world. I
thought me cousin Misses had throuble
enough widout grieving over the loss of
money, so l handed it out TO him as smil-
ingly as a man in a shtage coach would
hand bis purse till a highwayman. There
is nothing like charity TO make a mau feel
good.
Me cousin hasn't been able to sit up
much since election. 1t beats the divil
how little trivial things prey upon his
mind. He had set his heart on having
certain Shistes elect candidates that he
nominated, and whin he found they didn't
do 81, it naturally made him feel unaisy,
and he could only slspe nights be taking
camphane, or morphane, or some profane
thing the dOcthOr left. He couldn't kape
the docthor's prescription on his stomach.
The docther was going 20 kill me. Ye
see he called and said me cousin naded an
opiate. Fiat the divil is an opiatel May
be it has something to do wild election.
The docthOr wrote some hin's thracks on
piece of paper and handed it to me, and
towld me to give me cousin that in wine
glass of wather, until he got quiet Afther
the docthor Wint away | tuck the paper
and soaked it in bit of fishky, because
L knew me cousins shtOmach bether than
the docthOr, and / knew that wather
would make him sick. | gave me cousin
the prescription paper in the fishky, and
he throwed it up as aisy as man would
throw up a base ball. But he didn't
slape and called the docthor. He axed
me did l give me cousin the prescription,
and towled him l did; but the paper
wouldn't stay on his shtomach. He felt
of me head and said the bump of dam
foolOlogy was decidedly prominent on me
head. Fiat did he name, dunO Then
the docIher gave him some little minnie
bullets that shmelt like physic, and me
cousin reshted foinely. Bridget says !
should have taken the prescription to
drug shtore and had the druggist dissolve
it before l gave it to me cousin. Some
I of these women think they know iviry
thing.
Me cousin got able TO sit up in bed and
ate bafe tay, aOd then he called for the
papers, and when he read that fuss
they were making about the fact that me
cousin was interested in the 'tMcGar-
rahan claims, he was sick again. Some
of those editors want TO be kilt intiIely.
Onybody wild a shpark of manhood would
would do the same as me cousin does in
that mather. McGsrrshan is as much ri
lative of me cousin as | am, and don't
you suppose if l had such a claim, me
cousin would shtick by me if promised
TO divide Indade but he would Misther
McGarrshan is cousin 10 meself, and like
wise to me cousin Ulissus. His name
was originally William McGrant but
many yares since he whit to MixicO, and
3 long residence among the greasers has
compelled him TO adopt their habits, as
well as TO change his name sQmefhat.
''McGarrshan" is the Spanish for enc
Grant.
Wild that explanation it ought to be
aisy for ony body wild ordinary intelli-
gence TO see " me cousin takes an in
theresht in having his claim for six mil
lion dollars worth of property returned
TO him. Fiat right has silver mining
company to appropriate lsnds belonging
TO rilative of the Government, and dig
out all the silver, and lave the land value
less Divil the right at all at all Cousin
McGarrshan has promised to divide wild
me cousin and meself, and inshtead of me
cousins action IN the mather being dis
honorable, it is feather in his cap.
Fiat man would allow an own blood re-
lstion TO be imposed on that way, if he
promished to divide2
Whin he gifts the matber fixed, and the
dividend is made, will send yez a gallon
or so of quicksilver. Three chares for
Guild McGarrahsnl Be the way, me cou-
{ in is going TO have silver set made of
quicksilver to presint to Bridget.
1t was agaInsht the dochtor's orders,
but me cousin wint to Philadelphia aud
shtsyed over Sunday, but it didn't do ony
good. Ould Borie, the diyil that was
once in the cabinet, wrote to me cousin
be telegraph to come to Philadelphia.
He said there was man there that o Sned
an oil-well, who wanted to be appointed
TO CoX's place in the Cahiret, and he
would give a title-dade to the well, and
forty acres of land in the oil ragi for
the office. Me cousin didn't feel as
though little sickness ought TO prevent
him from serving his country, so he got
off a sick bed to 90 and see about the
well. 1t didn't amount TO ony-
thing, and the "Trip was a dead loss. Me
cousin wint and examined the well,
but devil the oil has been flowing
for three years, and he didn't feel
as though it would be for the
besht interest of the country to
appoint a maa TO office, whose only
claim TO loyalty and distinction was IN
abandoned oil-well. 50 me cousin gave
the office TO ovid DelanO, who owns five
dishtilleries in Ohio, and he gave me cousin
won of them. I'll tell yez that it is,
dishtiUery in good running order, in the
mountains of Ohio, fhere the internal
revenue officers can't find it, is bother
than deserted oil-well, in family that
don't kape ony COW, and milk is tin cin,s
quart, and half wather at that, and
fishky getting dearer all the time Yer
right, it is.
Sailed proposals are shtill coming in for
the purchase of the English mission.
They will be opened next wake, and the
bids examined, aud will be afther tile
graphing yez be mail who bids higLes'.
Yers, a cousin of Pat. McGarrahan, or
ony other man wild silver mine,