Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-11-17
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS,

HlNe IL Up' W ny, OtdcR eye 10
be sure.
How to make diamond csmeat--
Buy Il good diamoud.nng and biyo
it to her.
"a splendid ear but very poor
voice, as the organ grinder said Of
the donkey.
Men are like potatoes--thcy do
not know how soon they may bo
in hot water
How to get rid of rats and mice,
Read Martin Tupper to them half
an hour a day.
The man who would keep his
head cool shouldn't put a stove
pipe hat on it,
The sting Of bee carries con.
viction with It, 1t makes q man q
bee leayer at once.
"If nobleman has any true
friend out Of his own class, it ought
to be Republican"
Bred in the bone is a new
story but bone or bone dust in the
bread, is an old story.
In a game of cards, good deal
depends on good playing, and good
playing depends on good deal
What is home without a moth.
err as young girl said wien she
sent the old lady out to chop wood.
Why is dog with a broken leg
like boy at arithmetic? Because
he puts down three and carries
one.
A revenue collector in Missouri
recently tried to collect fifty cents
a head in a ball.room-the tax on
hops.
Why does the minister have more
wives than any one else? Be-
cause he often marries couple at
time.
"Jintlemen, will yees come to
order? If you only kape silent,
you may make as much noise as
you plaze."
Auguste Curriere, convicted of
obtaining 81, 900 on forged check,
was yesterday sentenced at Boston
to six years in the State Prison.
A Pennsylvania farmer says that
he cured his daughter Of the Gre
clan bend by pouring water on her
back and holding her out in the sun
until she warped back again.
"Jim, what makes your cats keep
up such a cursed mewing all the
nighty' Don't know, Bill | SUI
pose, though, that it's on account
of their new -cuss membrane.
A country paper says: "There is
a graveyard in the neighborhood
where may be seen the impressive
picture of a man sleeping peaceful
ly by the side of his six wives"
A teacher, catechising his schol-
ars, put the following question:
What was made to give light to
the world p "Matche8!' cried one
of the youngsters after short
pause.
"Vill you dake sumding?" said
a German teetotaller to a friend,
while standing near tavern.
Il don't care if do" was the
reply,
"Yell, den, let's take walk"
An East Tennessee woman stop
ped railroad train by waving a
red flag, and wanted to know of the
enraged conductor if Sairey Melvi-
ma Thompson was aboard-which
the same was her sister
A farmer at Scipio, Cayuga coun-
ty, has a turkey that has laid one
hundred eggs in one hundred days,
never missing a day on account of
sickness. or a circus in town, orany
thing. This turkey should have a
furlough.
A paterfamilias, who was investi-
eating the cause of fearful racket
in the dormitory, was met with this
explanation: II just pummelled
Harry little, because, you see, the
duced torment wouldn't let me sPy
my prayers"
A Chicago boy was asked If he
had q mother, and said he didn't
know, as he hadn't been home since
morning, and when he left, his fa-
ther and mother were quarreling,
with odds in favor of his father, as
he had the hatchet in his hand.
A young man twenty five years
of age, Snyder by name, is said to
be the youngest Judge in Iowa. He
arrived in tia State, four years ago
without a penny, and is now pos
sessed of handsome fortune. JUS
tice must be costly in that State.
One Denver gentleman shot an
other and was promptly arrested
for obstructins the sidewalk. He
was discharged, though, when he
clearly demonstrated that the way
the deceased stood it was impossi-
BILE to shoot him any way so that he
would not fall across the walk.
Scientific men have recently dis
covered that the poison taken into
a. r ,,l IL