The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-07-14
LAGHERANEOUS.
he latest thing out-The gas.

: | DeT-lue pOOT.
Rolling stock-Cattle on railways.
"A bad debt-The owing of a grudge.
Maxim-A poor man is to be avoided
! he lacks principal.
-pretzels are called Dutch handouts
in Philadelphia.
What is the best stimulant for the
hare ?-The greyhound,
A. T. Kettle is the only singer that
never has cold.
A girl that has lost her beau, may as
we'll hang up her fiddle.
Punch thinks that mill race Genes
under the head OF aquatic sports.
No dust affects the eye like gold, and
no glasses like brandy glasses.
One bumper at parting, as the drunk
ard said when he ran against the post.
Why cannot a family of girl, be pho
| tographed? Because there is no son.
You can always find clean sheet.
Of water on the bed of the ocean.
When does man impose upon him
self? When he taxes his memory.
The time to ciinch an argument
When the attention OF your audience is
riveted.
Mus. Doc. being rather an awkard
degree, Fiddle D. d. is recommended as
the proper thing for musicians.
"A doctor, detained as witness, COM
planned to the Judge that if he was kept
from his patients they might recover In
his absence.
"A would be wit asked his uncle if the
toliing Of bell did not remind him Of
his latter eEd No, he replied: but the
rope reminds me of yours.
A vivid idea of the weakness Of a
chicken soup was conveyed in the wag's
qu ~ to his wife at dinner, can't you
coax that chicken to wade through this
soup once more
The difference between seaiingwax
and women-one burns to keep secret,
the other to tell it.
Why should rosters feathers al
ways be smooth2 Because he has comb
with him all the time.
II can't bear fool, said lawyer
to former. ~ our mother could, re-
piled the farmer.
A fellow in Indiana put one end of
a gun-barrel In the FIRE and looked down
the muzzle to see If it vas loaded. \
coroner jury decided that his suspicious
were correct.
"A giddy stu dent having got his skull
fractured, was told by the doctor that the
brain was visible, on which he remarked
DO write aud tell father, for he always
said had none.
I know every rock on tie coast, said
an Irish pilot. At that MON ant the ship
struck, when he northumberland that's
one of them.
An Irishman renting money to his
son, wrote: In this letther | sind yez
ave pounds; but for fear yez might spind
the whole " it, hope yez Il return half
of it by che next post.
One of the genaler sex says that the
heaven Of the strong minded woman is
where buttons grow IL their proper pla-
ces, and men cease from bothering, and
needles are at rest.
-"Oh, Tommy, that was abominable
in you, to eat your little sister share Of
the cake!' why said Tommy,
'.ddn' you tell me that [ was Arrays to
tahe her part e.
A veteran was relating his exploits
to a crowd Of boys, and mentioned hay
n5 been in five engagements. That 5
nothing" broke in li5tle fellow. my
sister Sarah has been engaged eleven
times. .
An apothecary's boy was sent to
leave at one house box Of pills. AID at
another six live fowls. Confused on the
way, he left the pills where the fowls
should have gone, and the fowls at the
pill place. The folks who received the
fowls were astonished at reading the &C
companying directions Swallow one
every two hours y
A plasterer and his boy being en-
ployed TO whitewash.a house by the day,
were so tedious that the owner asked the
lad, in his masters absence, when he
thought they would be done. The boy
bluntly replied that his master was out
looking for another job, and if he found
one they should make an end that week.
NJ, Charles Grad thinks he has found
the wagon paper-to the North Pole.
Fhe new route is that of the Sea Of Kara,
which is safely navigable at any time OF
the year, as it never entirely freezes, and
is always accessible to light whalers Of
from thirty to one hundred and twenty
five tons. Dr. Petermann and the Rms
sian geopraphers concur in Mr.. Grad S
opinion.
A few days since ragged little urch
in was sent by tradesman to collect a
BILL He began in the usual way, but be-
coming more and more importunate, at
length the gentleman patience being ex
hausted. he said to him: You need
not dun me so sharply; [ am not going
to run away i don't suppose you are,
said the boy, scratching his head but
my master Is, and he wants the money
After the dance; Charles-Tell me,
Lrura. why that sadness. Tell me why
that loook of care? Why has fed that
look of gladness that thy face was won't
to wear? Laura-Charles, tbs useless to
dissemble well my face may wear frown,
for We lost my largest hairpin, and my
chignons coming down!
THAT bed is not long enough for
me, said a very tall, gruff old English
nan, upon being ushered into his bed
room by an Irish waiter at one of our
hotels. Faith an you'll find it plenty
| long sir, when you get into it." WAS
the reply for there'll be two feet more
added to it. y
The final and exhaustive punishment
of man 5 original sin is recorded in Iowa
in the birth of fenal child with three
tongues. Should that girl live to fulfil
| the traditional! stage of wifehood, and
eliminate into mother in-law then will
the fall in which we sinncd all be more
| than expiated.
Some years since, prominent bust
ness man of Northampton, Massachusetts,.
who began to SOW his wild oats when a