The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-01-21
From GliSe. Spirit 0f the Times.
PRITLTE HABITS ~ HORACE GREE
LILY.
By ,iar,, TWIN. ofthe Trl5uaos stair


LILY.
8r Mari, = win. ofthr TrIGu1c'e TsaL
Mr.. Greeley gcte up at three O'Clock
IN the morning; for II Is one OF his
favUrite maXims that only early us
ing can keep the health unimpaired
and the brain vigorous. He then
wakes up all the household and as
scmbies them in the library, by can
delight, and, after quoting the beau
tiful lines:
Early 70 bed and carly TO rise,
Aakes man healthy wealthy AMI wise.
he appoints each individuals task for
the day, sets him ut it with encour-
aging words, and goes back to bed
again / mention here, in no fault
finding spirit, but with the Difference
Justly due a man who i older and
wiser and wOrthiCr than /, that he
/ snoTeS awfully. In a moment of ir-
ritatiOn, Ouce, / was harsh enough to
say / never would sleep with him un-
/ til he broke himself of this unfOrtu-
nate habit. | have kept my word
with bigOted and unwayering deter
/ minatiOn.
At half past ii o'clock Mr.. Greeley
I rises again. He shaves himself He
considers that there is great virtue and
| economy in shaving himself. He
does it with dull razor, sometimes
humming a part of Il tune, (he knows
part of n tune, and takes an innocent
| delight in regarding il as the first half
/ Of Old Hundred, but parties familiar
with that hymn have felt obliged to
confess that they could not recognize
| it, and, therefore, the noise he makes
I is doubtless an unconscious original
composition of Mr.. Greeley's,) and
sometimes when the razor is espec-
| tally dull, he accompanies himself
with formula like this: damn the
damned razor, and the damned out
east who made it." III. G..
He then goes out into his model gar
den, and applies his vast store of agri-
cultural knowledge to the ameliOra-
ton of cabbages; after which he
writes an able agricultural article for
the instruction of the American farm
ers, his soul cheered the while with
the reflection that if cabbages were
worth eleven dollars apiece his model
farm would pay.
He next goes to breakfast, which is
frugal, abstemOusi meal with him,
and consists Of nothing but just such
things as the market affords, nothing
more. He drinks nothing but water
nothing whatever but water; and cOf-
fee, and tea, and Scotch ale, and lager
beer, and lemonade with fly in it
sometimes a house fly and sometimes
a horse fly, according to the amount
of inspiration required to warm him
up to his daily duties. During break
fast he reads the Tribune all through,
and enjoys the satisfaction of know
ing that all the brilliant things in it,
written by Young and Cooke, and
Hazard, and myself, are attributed to
him by a cOnfiding and internal pub
lic
After breakfast he writes n short
editorial, and puts large dash at the
head of it, thus j which is the
same as if he put III. CT. after it, and
takes a savage pleasure in rejecting
that none of us understrappcrs can use
that dash, except in profane converse
ton when chatting over the outrage.
He writes his editorial in his own
handwriting. He does it because he
is so vain of his penmanship. He al
ways did take an inOrdinate pride in
his penmanship. He hired out once
in his young days as a writing master,
but the enterprise failed. The pupils
could not translate his remarks with
any certainty. His first copy was,
"Virtue is its own reward" and they
got it "Washing with soap is wholly
absurd" and so the trustees discharg-
ed him for attempting to convey bad
morals, through the medium of worse
penmanship. But, rs l was saying,
he writes his morning editorial. Then
he tries to read it over, and can't do it,
and so sends it to the printer, and they
can't do it, and so they set it up at
random as you may say, putting in
words they can make out, and when
they get aground OH a long word they
put in reconstruction" or universal
suffrage" and spar off and paddle
ahead, and next morning, if the de-
graded public can tell what it is all
about, they say II. G.. wrote ii, and if
they can't, they say it is one of those
imbecile upderstrappers, and that is
the end of it.
On Sundays Mr.. Greeley sits in n
prominent pew in MIR. Chapin's
church, and lets OH that he is asleep,
anu lllC COllSIGSdllOll It3slIu IL StS All
eccentricity of genius.
When he is going to speak in pub
lie Mr.. Greeley spends two hours on
his toilet. He is the most painstaking
and elaborate man about getting up
his dress that lives in America. This
is his chiefest and pleasantest foible.
He puts on his old white Over-cOat,
and turns up the collar. He puts on
sOiled shirt, saved from the wash, and
leaves one end of the collar unbut-
toned. He puts on his most dilapida-
ted hat, turns it wrong side before,
cants il on the back of his head, and
jams an extra dent in the side of it.
He puts on his most atrOciOus boots,
and spends fifteen minutes tucking
the left leg of his pants into his boot
top i'll what shall seem the most care
less and unstudied way. But his cTa-
Vat-it is into the arrangement OF his
cravat that he throws all his soul, all
the powers of his great mind. After
fixing at it for forty minutes before
the glass it is perfcct-it is askew cv-
cry way-it OVerthrOws his coat collar
on one side and sinks into Oblivion on
the Other--it climbs and delves around
and about his necl-the knot is con-
spicuOusly displayed underh his left ear,
and it stretches one of its long ends
straight out horizontally, and the
other goes after his eye in the good
old TOodle fashion-and then COM
pletely and marvelously appareled,
Mr.. Greeley strides forth rolling like
a sailor, a miracle OF astounding cos
tumery, the awe and wonder of the
nation.
But 1 haven't time to tell the rest of
his private habits. Suffice il that he
is an upright and honest mana prac-
teal, great-brained mana useful man
to his nation and his generatiOn-a
famous man who has justly earned
his celebrity-and withal the worst
dressed man in this or any other
country, even though he does take so
laundering much pains and put on so
many frills about it.