South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1870-06-24
wI-r AND HUMOR.

E1 John Wesley, the founder of Meth,
odism, when one day riding through the
cOuatry, was saluted by fellow who was
lying in ditch.
Hello! Father Wesley, I'm glad to see
you? How do you do?'
Il don't know you, said Mr.. w, reign
ing up his horse. who are your
Don't know me? Why, sir, you are
the very man who converted me-
Il reckon L am said Mr.. w, putting
spurs to his horse 'at least, one thing is c.
yident-the Lord had nothing to do with it.
AN IRIsHMAN's ANswER-A lawyer
built him an office in the form of hexa-
gon or six square. The novelty Of the
structure attracted the attention of some
lrishmen who were passing by. They
made full stop and viewed the building
very critically. The lawyer, somewhat dis
gusted at their curiosity, raised the win
dow, put his head out, and addressed them
what do you stand there for, like a pack
of blockheads, gazing at my Office? Do
you take it for church p
'Faix,' answered one of them, Il was
thinking so, till [ saw the diyil poke his
head out of the windy
GEESE AND GoosEs. -'Mamma,' said
Harry, what is the difference between
goose and geese 2 why, don't you know,
said four-year's old Annie, zone geese is a
goose, and whole lot Of gooses is geese
E1'A new minister at New Bedford
took stroll before break fast on the first
Sunday he was there, and after walking a
dozen blocks was accosted by a shabby.
looking individual with you needn't look a.
ny further there amt a darned saloon open ,
ET-'Madam' said a cross tempered ply
stefan to patient, If women were admit.
ted to Paradise, their tongues would make
it a purgatory
and some physicians, if allowed to prac-
tice there replied the lady, would soon
make it desert
ES-A Chandler having had some can
dies stolen, person babe him be of good
cheer, Nor in short time they will all
come to light
ES'A convalescent invalid, Mr.. Is -,
brought suit lately against his doctor
and alleged that the said Esculapius had
persisted in calling on him personally after
he was cured, which fees he now refused
to pay. DIR Il - denied the fact, and
called IN , rrrso ,,L, ,ttou1l IL T.,
to prove it. is it true, asked the Court,
chat Or. + -- continued his visits when
Mr.. 3 - had 20 necessity for them z?
Upon my word, sir answered the witness,
'as long as | saw the doctor with Mr.
b -- | thought he was in considerable
danger which naive opinion caused the
Court to burst into a fit Of laughter.
E5-Leayo you, my friend said tip.
50 fellow, clingins to lamp post on a dark
night; leave you in condition not to
take care Of yourself? He, noycrH
ETA Western oompositor set up, ,No
Cross, No Crown'-'No Cows, No Cream
Truthful, but inaccurate.
G4g Mary Russell Milford, in one of her
letters in 1920, said Il write merely for
remuneration, and I would rather scrub
floors if l could get as much by that heal
ihicr, and more respectable and feminine
employment
EE The Louisville Cowier Joyno7 says
ala immense jaw bone was recently dug up
near Sioux City and given to Radical cdi-
tor Of that place. ] may not have been
originally tho jlw.bonc Of an ass, but it
unquostionably is now.
E5'W When Socrates was asked why he
had built himself so small house he re-
piled Small as it is, I wish l could GIL
IT. with friends
esg~Wc ere told to have hope and trust .
hut what can poor follow DO when he no
longer can Get any trust.
G4'-It is said iha. Whi,tcmoro's over
vhelmiug success IN South Carolina was
attributable ina great measure, 90 tho fact
that Mrs. w campaigncd for him ly kiss
ing The negro women rr5mi.euouIy Nyw
vhat CON the HerrmcrH DO 90 couu,aac,
Tank movement Ike tlat2
~ Lady Montague, The famous w,,. ca
Being asked whether sle would 30. Lay,
preferred TO belong Go tho ether sex, repIi
81 earnestly in jlo negative, because in
that cnso che might have boon obliged 3,
marry O woman
~ When married man becomes corn.
I'D. % F. rcrrrcty rrorrr f.r III. vrie &.