Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-05-12
The Story Of the Good Little Boy Who
Did Not Prosper.
BY MARK TWAIN.

ONCE there was good little boy by the
name of Jacob Blivens. He always
obeyed his parents, no matter how absurd
and unreasonable their demands were !;
and he always learned his book, and
never was late at Sabbath school. He
would not play hockey, even when his
sober Judgment told him it was the most
profitable thing he could do. None Of the
other BOYS could ever make that boy out,
he acted 80 strangely. He wouldn't lie,
no matter how convenient it was. He
j~o4 .~id IL was wrong 90 lie, and that was
sufficient for him. And he was SO honest
that he was simply ridiculous. The curl
Gus ways that Jacob had surpassed every
thing. He wouldn't play marbles on Sun
day, he wouldn't rob birds nests, he
wouldn't give hot pennies to organ-grind-
ers' monkeys; he didn't seem to take any
interest in any kind of rational amuse-
ment. So the other boys used to try to
reason it out and come to an understand
Ing Of him. but they couldn't arrive at any
satisfactory conclusion as / said before,
they could only figure out sort of vague
idea that he was "afflicted" and 30 they
took him under their protection. and
never allowed any harm to come to him.
This good little boy read all the Sunday
school books; they were his greatest de-
light. This was the whole secret OF it.
He believed in the good little boys they
put in the Sunday school books he had
every confidence in them. He longed to
come across one of them alive, once: but
he never did. They all died before his
time, may be. Whenever he read about
particularly good one, he turned over
quickly to the end to see what became OF
him, because he wanted to travel thou
sands of miles and gaze on him; but 1t
wasn't any use; that good little boy al
ways died in the last chapter, and there
was picture of the funeral, with all his
relations and the Sunday school children
standing around the grave in pantaloons
that were too short, and bOnnets that were
too large, and everybody crying into
handkerchiefs that had as much as yard
and half Of stuff in them. He was al
| ways headed off in this way. He never
could see one of those good little boys, on
account Of his always dying in the last
chapter.
Jacob had noble ambition to be put in
Sunday school book He wanted to be
put in, with pictures representing
him gloriously declining to lie to his
mother, and she weeping for JOY about
.
on the door step giving penny to q poor
ling her to spend 1t freely, but not to be
extrayapant, because extravagance is q
sin: and pictures of him magnanimOusly
refusing to tell on the bad boy who always
Law in wait for him around the corner, as
he came from school, and welted him over
| the head with q lath, and then chased him
home, saying, Hi hi!' as he proceeded.
| That was the ambition of young Jacob
Blivens. He wished to be put in Sunday.
school book. It made him feel little
uncomfortable sometimes when he re-
| flected that the good little boys always
died. He loved to live, you know, and
| this was the most unpleasant feature about
being q Sunday school book boy. He
knew 1t was not healthy to be good.
| He knew It was more fatal than c0nsump-
| ton to be so systematically good as the
boys in the books were; he knew that
none Of them had ever been able to stand
it long, and it panied him to think that If
| they put him in book he wouldn't ever.
see it, or even if they did get the book
out before he died, 1t wouldn't be popu-
lar without any picture of his funeral In
the back part of It. 1t couldn't be much
of Sunday school book that couldn't tell
about the advice he gave TO the commu-
nifty when he was dying So, ct last, Of
course, he had to make up his mind to do
the best he could under the circumstances
Ito live right, aud hang on as long a. he
could, and have his dying speech all ready
when his time came.
But somehow, nothing ever went right
with this good little boy; nothing ever
turned ont with him the way 1t turned