The Placer herald., 1870-07-23
A RICH TREAT.
Counting Under Difficulties. Champagne and
Citrate Of Magnesia. a.

Ctrate OF MagneS1a.
The Colusa Sun of July I'd tells the fol-
lowing good story:
"A few days since young man appeared
in Colusa, and made canvass of our town
in disposing of various Yankee notions. His
experience in regard to this world was evil
dently of rather limited order, yet he was
industrious and strived to obtain market
for his wares, and his efforts were to certain
extent crowned with success. During his
sojourn among us he became infatuated with
DARE-EYED MAIDEN OF CoLUsA,
One of Missouri's choicest offerings feel
ing which often takes possession Of visitors to
this section, and frequent became his visits
to her domicil. His devotion was reciprocal
ted, for on several occasions, and evening
twilight, the devoted couple were to be seen
seated in close proximity upon log, beneath
the spreading branches of one of our grand
old oaks. After sundry walks our mercan-
tile friend concluded he would obtain
chariot and roll out on the plains in company
with her who was causing the spirits to rap
in every chamber of his heart. lie repaired
team and vehicle. The next thing requisite
for the journey was something to sOoth the
agitated spirit, in the way of refreshment.
He visited several saloons, and
rNoUtRED THE PRICE OF CHAMPAGNE.
Finding that article would command from
50 so to SIS 90 per bottle, he concluded the
luxury was altogether too expensive, and he
endeavorcd to find some other beverage to be-
indulged in by himself and sweetheart during
the forthcoming ride. AT last he entered one
of cur drug stores and asked if temperance
beverage could b furnished for the above
named purpose for moderate sum of money.
The druggist assured him he had IL very
pleasant drink called
CITRATE OF MAGNEsIA,
Prepared by himself which he could warrant
fresh and lively, and which could be obtained
for twenty-five cents per bottle. Our hero
Immediately closed bargain, and seized
upon two bottles with avidity. They were
placed under the seat of the buggy with
great care, and everything being in readiness
the young lady was soon ensconsed by his
side, behind a sparkling team, going the
double-quick for the suburbs After drive
of an hour, the gallant driver reached under
the seat and surprised his fair companion
with the presence of two bottles of liquid,
which he suggested would be refreshing on
the dusty road. Both suffering from severe
thirst, the contents of the two bottles soon
disappeared, and the fine flavor commented
on favorably. Thus refreshed, the lash was
freely applied to the team, and our happy
couple were jolted over somewhat uneven
road, with their equilibrium undisturbed, until
some time afterward, on their return, when
they were both suddenly seized with an un-
pleasant sensation in the vicinity of the re-
freshment receptacle. The fair one bent over
forward, the gallant admired doubled up and
squirmed, until things began to assume a
serious character. The perspiration rolled
down in huge drops from the forehead of one
who few moments before had declared his
happiness complete. The smiles Of the maiden
were suddenly transformed to
UNPLEASANT coNToRTIoNs -l
Of the face, until at last, the magnesia about
to become master of the situation, forbear-
ancc ceased to be a virtue, the team was
stopped, and, without one word of cxplana-
ton, each party made desperate and lively
leap from their respective sides of the buggy,
and the scene which ensued our pen is inca
pable of describing. Suffice it to say, no
unnecessary time was lost in reaching town,
not a sentiment of love was uttered, and q
young man was seen earnestly engaged in
hunting the druggist-who could not be found
-and he expressed huge disgust at the
mere mention of citrate of magnesia rs q
buggy beverage"