Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-17
The Josh Billings Papers.
MARRIAGE.

| face Ov It. 10 +tt 'e '''. e,
But lhare IL quite too often put up
jobs in it.
1t IL an old institushun, older than the
pyramids, and az phull of hyrogliphics
thai nobody can parse. * eael F.
History holds its tongue who the pair
waz who fust put on the silken harness,
and promised to work kind in it, thru
thick and thin, up hill and down, and on
the level, rain or shine. survive or perish,
sink or swim, drown or flotc.
But whoever they waz, they must hav
made good thing ont oy il, or so menny
ov their posterity would not hay harness
ed up since and droy ont NJ II Dill
& Thare IL crate moral grip in mar
riage; il IL the mortar that holds the so
shuiI bricks together.
But thare amt but darnd few pholks
who put THAR money in matrimony
who could set down aud give good
written opinyun Viii on arh thay cum to
did it. @A
This IL crate proof that il " one ov
them uatral kind ov acksidents that must
happen, jist az birds fly out ov the nest.
when thay hav feathers enuff, without be-
ing able tew tell why.
Sum marry for buty, and never diskov-
er their mistake; this il lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't see
lit. - ''T A4oat
Sum marry forpedigree, and feel big
for six mouths, and then very sensibly
cum tew the conclusion that pedigree
amt no better than skimmilk.
Sum marry tew plese thaIe relashuns,
and are surprized tew learn that thare
relashuns don't care a cuss for them az
terwarl. '"3sSa
Sum marry bekauze thay hav Din high
sted sum WHARF else; this IL cross
match. "a bay and a sorrel; pride may
make it endurable.
Sum. marry for love without cent
in their pocket, nor friend in the
world. nor n drop ov pedigree. This
looks desperate, Jut itiz the strength OF
the qdn,e. a. s. ~ AsN
Ifmarryipg for love amt a success, them
matrimony il ded beet.
Sum marry because they think wim.nin
will be scarce next year, md Iiy tew won !,
der how the crop holds ont,
Sum marry -tew' got rid Of them
selves, and discover that the game was
one that two could play at, and neither
win.
Sum marry the second time to get
even, and find it gambling galne-the
more they put down the less they take
Sum, marry lew be happy, and not
finding it wonder where all tho happi
ness goes when it dies.
4 Sum marry they can't tell why, and
live they can't tell how.
Almost every boldly gets married,
and it is good joke. Z + s. ~ I, =
Sum marry in haste, and then set
down and think it careful over. .s4qa
Sum think it over careful fust, and
then set down and marry. ,eer
Both ways are right if they hit the
mark. ECO n s7
Sum marry rakes few convert them.
This il little risky, and takes smart
missionary to do it. ~
Sum marry coquetts. This IL like
buying poor farm, heavily mortgaged,
and working the balance of yure days
TO clear oph the mortgage. a'raas
Married life baz its chances, and
this il what gives it its flavor. Every
boldly luvs few phooI with the chances,
because everybody expekts tew win
But i am authorized tew state that CIV.
eryboddy don't win.
But, after all, married life liz full as
certain as the dry goods bizness.
No man kan aware exactly WHARF he
will fetch up when he touches calico.
No man kan tell just what calico haz
made up its mind tew do next.
+ Calico.do know even herself. 81
Dry goods ov all kinds IL the child ov
circumstances.
Sum never marry, but this IL jist ez
risky; the diseaze il the same, with no
other name to il.
The man who stands on the bank shiv-
ering, and dassent, IL moe apt to ketch
cold than him who pitches hiz he'd fust
into the river. @s"7 s9sso.1 70 1'T
Thare il but few who never marry be-
ksuze thay acon't-Ihey all banker, and
most ov them starv with the bread before
them (spread on both sides) just for the
lack ov grit..er se..9sta q rEgs
Marry yangi 7sastr ~
& I hev tried it, and I kno what I am
talkin about. -e----
If emmy boldly asks yu viii you got
married, if it needs be, tell him yu don't
renaember! Sv,sF yoE4tt gsaf-sy
Marriage IL safe way TO gamble
if WI win, you win a pile, and if yu
loze, You don't lozs emmy thing, only the
privilege ov living dismally alone, and
! soaking yure own feet. - s5.n5 F
Irepeat it in italics, marry yung!
There il but one good excuse for q
marriage late in life, and that ia sec
ond marriage! ~ ss-5-ss s. Is sasss, -
A humorous old man .fell.in with, an
ignorant and rather impertinent young
convert, who proceeded to inform the old
gentleman. in very. positive terms, that
be could never reach heaven unless be
| -Ilal. ksTl. u.