The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-10-22
WIT AND WISDOM

Somebody having advertised that fiutinR
would be nicely done, another somebody n
out, that fling" will be executed al short
notice.
A CAPITAL ANswER.-Selfmad EgnIish-
man examining a school Of which be Is
manager. Now, what's the capital of
Gland ?" Boy" An H. sir.
A wouldbc wit asked bis uncle II The
tolling Of bell did not put him in mind oF
bis approaching end. "NO. sir" be re-
piled, :" but tho ropes put me in mind or
yours"
An unfortunate Indian missionary has
bad his sermon reported az follows: "Tho
speaker was deduction, and gave learned
description Of Satan and his skill in saving
trees" The unhappy preacher wrote d
PIteous remonstrsnce to the editor of tbo
paper which had published this rest0se, 10
say that be was Dutchman, and not n
deduction, and that be bad described Satan
not as saving trees, but sowing tares."
WHERE'S THE STAIRS "A good story
is told Of a wellknown business man Of
this city, too good TO be allowed to pass un-
chronlcled. In a company with kindred
spirits be was out tl~ e.euinps since
y doing the town" lie mad " smiled"
frequently during the day, and was some
what overcome by the inspiration, when be
attempted to reach bis lodgings. How
near he approached it is not related, but in
bis search his arm encircled lamp post,
when be began feeliag about With his feet
IN manner which indicated that be was in
earnest search Of missing object. Final
ly bis patience became exhausted, and be
exclaimed: Here's (hicl the balus- (hio)-
sters, but where in-(h hic) is the stairs n
-lSdginaV Courier.
A funny story is going the rounds ia
Paris. A lady in the Iirst society was re-
Gently obliged to dismiss her nurse on
account of an excess Of 6remen and private
soldiers too often repeated. After choosing
as a successor to this criminal very pretty
girl, the lady, explaining why the first went
away, eDjoined it on the second not to do
likewise. She admitted that she shouldn't.
" | can endure great deal, !" said the lady,
: but soldiers about the kitchen / won't
endure After week or eight days, the
lady came one morning into the kitchen,
opened the cupboard and discovered
youthful military character. "Oh, ma'am,"
cried the girl, frightened, I" L give you my
word never saw that soldier before in my
life, he mnst have been one Of the old ones
left over by the other girl"
EASY ROUND THIS CoRNER.-A man
once doubling the joys Of single blessed
ness, undertook to prove the contrary by
experience. Owing to a melancholy, not
to say gratefully acknowledged illness, bis
wife was brought TO her deathbed. Unfor-
.tunately for her husbands aspirations for
freedom, her death occurred in winter, and
her husband, wishing to offer every respect
to her who could no longer be but the
semblance Of herself, ordered the pail
bearers to escort the body on their
shoulders. Owing to an extremely slippery
pavement, they slipped while turning a
sharp corner, bringing the remains to the
ground with such violence that resuscita-
ton followed. Time wore on, and the
husband became again a living monument
OF patience. AT last the wife actually
died, and her dutiful spouse, being obliged
to ignore bis private suspicion BY Der near
relatives, was to give the same respectful
orders before. This time, however, be
himself formed ono Of the coype dc garde.
and though summer was the season, he
could not retain his feelings, but, as he
reached that fatal corner, whispered
" Easy round this corner, boys! Ea-s y
nOtc %