The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-04-01
N Il WV o x1s M s..


spectacle and, in the main, well-conducted citi-
zens of New York, who, for having committed
some venial peccadillo, Or in some cases, in
spite of not having done anything at all, have
their names printed among the calendar of
offenders in one of the small evening news
papers of this cty-to wit, the EUening Ne,os.
That virtuous and veracious sheet purports to
chronicle crime as the most rapid means of
promoting youthful pety and adult angelhood
among the masses. Now it sometimes hap
pens that people belonging to extremely
respectable families and who never
in their lives did anything deserving
incarceration, have been arrested on false
charges or, presuming to make their own de-
fense, have been summarily put do,on as the re-
suit of a job that was put up. 1t is hardly
pleasant, as a consequence of being unwarraut-
ably arrested, to find oneself figuring like a
criminal in the public prints, particularly when
the print happens to be such one rs never cor
rects mistakes Sensitive men and women, who
have been thus unfortunately victimised, have
been made to suffer tortures by the brief pub
licity in this manner attached to their names
Beyond the qualification of n morbid curiosity
there is no plausible reason why the lists should
be published at all.
Richard Grant White,
who is one of the most noted literary isms of
scriber TO the Tribune has seen fit to criticise
his latest essay in the Gdlary entitled 'The
Lease of Hamlet the Younger" Ia that ex-
tremely well-written and ingenious article Mr.
White makes "Hamlet" twenty years old at th
commencement of the tragedy and thirty year
old at its conclusion. Now, whether he is righ
or wrong is matter of but little Importance in
the present issue, compared with the right of
other people to critcise him and his obligation
TO remain good -humored under the criticism
But Richard Grant is cantankerous critic
extremely fond of making others toe the mark
Especially if they are blondes and the tow is in
their hair y, and not over-addicted to toeing it
himself
Amusements.
Mr.. Fechter is shortly to appear here
at the Academy of Music in the Corsi-
can Brothers and as 'Obenreizer." Mr..
Bateman is talking of investing 100000 in a
new theatre as the corner of Thirty fourth street
and Broadway. At Walack's Tom Taylor's new
comedy of Men and Acres is to be brought out
next week Somebody, in one of the papers,
proposes an innocent evening entertainment of
q literary ma ure for corner-loafers and vicious
young men in general. By all means, bring in
your vicious young men and let 'em be enter
tanned. The more literary you are the better
your vicious young men will like you.
Few Smali suggestions.
In the absence of anything of piquant and
scandalous nature, permit me to offer few
suggestions to editors, theatrical people, and
theatrical-newspape folks in general. They
apply quite as squarely to Philadelphia people of
that ilk as they do to the Gotham guild. AS the
suggestions were developed from my interior
consciousness they assumed the shape of rules
and as such bashtully present them:-
lri for inf tp
paper which supports a column headed
"Answers to Correspondents" do not fail to
sign yourself "An Old Subscriber" or "a
Twenty-years' Reader of your Valuable Paper"
This will invest you with originality and indi-
viduality and also present claims that will in
sure prompt aud full reply.
II. If any question occurs to you which little
common sense and investigation would enable
you to answer for yourself, by no means trust to
those avenues of information. What are editors
made for if not to relieve correspondents of the
necessity of thinking for themselves?
III. If you have ever had an article accepted
and published by newspaper, consider your
self thenceforth part and parcel of the institu'
tion Have your letters addressed to you there;
smoke your worst pipes and your best cigars
there; and rebuff any editor who regards your
claims as mere sham by putting in his face your
gneerSChdtn. Evince the interest you take in
the newspapers private affairs by using the
pens ink, and paper of the establishment, turn
ing over and cutting its files, rummaging among
its new books and magazines, and pouncing
upon every desk that is momentarily vacant.
By these means you will render yourself gene
rally beloved there so that should twenty-four
hours pass without your making your appear
ance there will be a universal suspicion of your
death.
". When any of your articles are rejected
always insist upon being told the reason Ii
informed that they are trash, do not weakly
yield to that opinion, but labor to prove the
contrary. If the editor obscurely intimates thai
you are an ass, tell him that you are not Thi;
will generally be. found unanswerable. Poin
out to him all the good points of your com
position, and heap ardent anthracite upon hli
head by making him feel what an intellectual
treasure he has lost.
V. If you desire a position that is already
held by competent journalist, ask for it a
once, in a Free outspoken, underhanded man
ner. This is quite compatible with every wisl
for the success of that person somewhere else
and, when he gets to hear of it, will win for yoI
his esteem and love.
VI If by any chance your name should b
omitted in published list of editors furnishes
by the journal upon which you are employed
resign your position at once. You can after
wards withdraw your resignation, and you wi
have adopted the only spirited way of Vind
eating your dignity.
VII. If you are theatrical or musical critic
nd hava thp n relative who q