The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-12-01

\ De imagined, but can't be described.
/ From time immemOral this deestrick
he'd bin yOOnanimusly dimOeratic,
and it wuZ the epnde Nv the DimOcrasy
TO keep it so. They he'd a simple ROOF
I by wichsit wuZ managed. Eff man
/ offered a vote whose name didn't be-
/ gin with an o. or Nc he WuZ re-
/ quested by the challengers to show
/ his ticket to them. Eff ne refOOsed,
or, in the event NV his complying, ef
1t wuz anything but the straIe Tam
many ticket, he wuz dubbed about
the head till he come to the cOnclOO-
shun that he didn't care about votin,
/ and got away eZ soon eZ possible.
But all this WuZ to be changed by
the exercise Nv brOOt fOrse on the
part Nv the tyrant Grant, and we he'd
bin notified to yield to it, O'Shaugh-
messy and O'ROurke wept like chill
dren. There is in the deestrict, some
thirty niggers, and the boys he'd pro-
cOOred clubs Nv sOOperiOr strength and
length, expressly to meet the exigen-
eles NV that case. The polls bein at
my place, / he'd prOcOOred three bar
rels NV a peeOOlyer whiskey with red
pepper in it to infiame EN- to the prop
er pitch for sich an emergency, and
our other preparashensf for a fair eleck-
shun were made in a most complete
manner.
We sat behind the ballot box-me
and O'ROurke and O'Shaughnessy.
/ Before the box stands Patsey Farrell,
Tiny Organ, Jimmy DOnahue and a
core of others, all with a dozen
/ rinlra IL, aro ond nom af,,be =, Nhos-
/ ands. Up comes q man and offers a
Ote, givinp his name ez Thompson.
asst year the man by the name NV
Thompson wood hey DIN pounded in
to jelly before the word he'd escaped
his mouth for he wuz born in COnnee-
ticut and sieh hez never bin allowed
to vote at these polls. / see by the
icket wieh he hands me that its a
Republican ticket. Patsey Farrel rails
es his club but 1 warn him by a look
not to strike. / take the vote, put it
in the box, with asinkin sensashun at
the pit Nv my stOmick, and Thompson
goes away unhurt. The knowledge
that the pOundin Nv Thompson wood
bring down upon US the bloc eoted
hrelins NV the military desOptism un-
which we live, subjects the deestriek
to the disgrace Nv receivin a Repue.
likin vote from a Connecticut man!
Good Lord are we in free Ameriky
or Austria? Free Ameriky, forsoothi
But it didn't end with Thompson.
| Niggers came up and voted. The in
feriOr race he'd the Impotence to fall
into line with white men, and vote
after them and before them. This
cost US at least one hundred votes.
Teddy O'Donnel he'd voted twice on a
contract he he'd to vote eight times at
this poll. 1t so happened that each
! time he came up there wuZ a niger
before him in the line, and one be-
hind him. The third time he came
up to vote the third name on his list,
it wuz ez befOre-he WuZ sandwiched
in between two niggers. Indignant
at this, Cand who kin blame him?)
Teddy askt me eff this thing wuz to
90 on all day? eff he wuz to be com.
PEELED to put in his other five votes be-
hind a niger each time, and be per-
ventid all day from KILN one NV EN-?
I sOothed Teddy all I Good. 1 told
him how IL wuZ-the situashen we
WuZ in, and begged him to be pashent
anu EIAgOA htAs AAG G0O4EnE A4EABs
But he WOOdent. The chivalric
nacher Nv the man wuZ so stirred up
that he refoozed to vote agin. Rather
than hev him lose his days work I
took the five votes at wHnst and GER
titled for him that he he'd voted EN- ez
per contract, that he mite draw his
money. 1 wuz lot altogether dis
interested in this either. The entire
sum will be in my till in less than q
week, for Teddy's wife manages to
keep the children clothed, wich leaves
him entirely free NV the more grovelin
cares Nv life.
But want it distinctly understood
that this interference Nv the Oligark
at Washington didn't affect the gen.
eral result a particle. Wedidnt count
the votes till late at mite; after.Tweed
had heard from the rural deestriks a
messenger cOmeintO the room and an
nOunced,that everything wuz ready
now to be counted.
'How much majority do you re-
quire Nv me-"
"Lemme see," said the messenger,
running his finger down a list, "this
is the sixteenth deestTiet Nv the 9th
Ward. You are set down for 3I2 ma
jJrity. Did you pole that number Nv
votes?"
"NO. only 30, and Nv that number
probably 40 wuz for WOOdford."
THAT don't mater. Count EN- 312,
and all for Hoffman. We hev been
lOsin in some NV the rOOral deestricks
and in some Nv the wards in the city,
I'D it must be made up"
rnis is perhaps eZ shOOr a way Nv
dOin it ez the other, but it isn't ez sat
isfactory to the people. 1t does away
With the services Nv a great many re-
T seters, wich hev alluZ made a Hvin
b votin, and ez ther aint no fighting
Q the polls, a great many shoulder
tiers lack employment. Then agin,
Is open TO another Objeckshun. We
aade the vote in this deestriek yOOn-
N mus for HOFFMAN. There heZ bin
more than thirty men of the deestrick
who hev come in the papers, Stain
that they voted for WOOdfOrd, with q
view Nv maxim trouble. Nv course it
wont amount to anything, for we run
the Courts and everything else in the
State, but it's unpleasant and dis
agreeable. Eff these fellows he'd bin
knocked on the head when they Of
fered their votes, ez heZ bin the Gus
tom, they wood not be able to say
now that they actually voted for
WOOdfOrd.
But all this trouble results from the
apathy aud towards nv the DimOcrisy
themselves. He'd we he'd the nerve
to hev, shOldered muskits in 1884, and
reseOOd Richmond from the grasp Nv
th Ablishnists, ,-ef we he'd establisht
the Confedraey ez we shOOd hev DONE
we never shOOd hev seen our rites
gOin from US one by one. But we
didn't do it, and we are driitin into a
worse than despotism. In Moo York
alone hev we any rites, and them Is
bein assailed peTpetOOally. / shOOd-
net wonder ef at the next eleekshun a
Federal officer shoe hev the cOuntin
NV the ballots
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
(wich wuz Postmaster