Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-08-03

I ana roots OF SasSafras and 'SaSsaf rill, !"
branoy Tor eoles,-Pinkorot, death OF
yalerian. calmer Of hysteric squirms,
MUSK. AssafRtida. the resinous gum
T Named from its odor-well, it does smell
Jalap, that works not wisely but too well,
Ten pounds Of bark and six Of Calomel.
For outward griefs he had an ample store.
some twenty jars and gallipots, or more;
GeTGfinn sinlpteD-hOusewives Oft compile
1ne same al home, and call Il wax and ile.
Dngl.elltiflR ResiHoSlful, change its name,
me drawing salve' OF many an ancient
ArgenH Nitras, also spanish iiesu
! Whose virtues make thewater bladders rise;
! Some say that spread upon a toper's skin
/ Ihey draw no water, only rum or gin)-
Leeehess sweet Yernitn; don't they charm
| And sticking plasters-how It hates to stick !
| EBlpldStTIIHl FeTTi-ditto RiciS, Pitch:
Washes and Powders, birthstone for the
Seabiss or PsOra, is thy chosen name
since Hahneman'sg goose quill scratched thee
[ Proved thee the sourceof every nameless III.
I Whose sole specific is a moonshine pill.
Til saucy science, with quiet grin,
Held up the Acarus, crawling on a pin?
Mountains have labored and have brought
forth mice,
The Dutohman's theory Matched brood Of
twice
I've well nigh said them-words uniting
For these fair precincts and for ears polite.
The surest foot may chance at last to slip.
And so atlength il proved with Doctor Rip.
One full-sized bottle stood upon the shelf
Which held the medicine that he took him
Whate'er the reason, 1t must be confessed
lie nlled that bottle oftner than the rest:
What drug it held IdOn't presume TO know
The gilded label said Elixir Pro-"
oneday the doctor found the bottle full,
And, being thirsty. took vigorous pull,
Put back the -eliKirn where twas always
And had old .DObbln saddled and brought
You know those Old-time rhubarb colored
That Carried doctors and their saddIe-bags;
sagaeious beasts they stopped at every
Where blinds were shut-knew every pa
TENTS case
Looked up and thought-the baby's in a At;
That won't last long-he'n soon be through
But shook their heads before the knockered
door
Where some old lady told the story Ger
Whose endless stream Of tribulatiOn flows
For gastric griefs and peristalic woes.
What lack o'lantern led him from his way,
And where II led him It were hard to say
Enough, that wandering many mile
Through paths the mountain sheep trod sin
gle nle,
O'ercOme by feelings such as patients know.
Who does too freely with Elixir Pro-"
He tumbled-dismounted slightly in heap,
And lay, promiscuous, Tapped In balmy sleep. /
Night followed night, and day succeeded |
But snoring stIll the slumbering doctor lay.
Poor Dobbin, starving, thought upon his 4
stall,
And struggled homeward, saddIe-bags and
The village people hunted all around,
But Rip was missing-neyer could be found. 4
" "DroTRed," they guessed; for more than
The Pouts and eels did taste uncommon
Some said apple-brandy-ethers some
Found a strong havor Of New England rum.
why can't a fellow hear the fine things
About fellow when a fellows deadf
The best OF dOctors-so the press declared
A public blessing while his life was spared.
True to his country, bOunteous TO the poor,
IN all things temperate, sober, lustan pure;
TIE best Of husbands echoed Mrs. Van,
And set her cap TO catch another man.
50 ends the CantO-if it's quanftsTn sun.
Wen just stop here and say we've had
grind the organ II you lend your ears
To hear my second CantO, after that
Wen send around the monkey with the hat
CANTO SECOND,
So thirty years had past-but not a word
m all that time Of Rip was ever heard;
The world Wagged On-itn never does 20 back
The widow Van was now the widow Mac
France was an Empire-AndreWJ J.,Was dead.
And Abraham l., was reigning in his stead.
I our murderous years had passed in savage
Yet still the rebel held his bloody knife.
AT last one morning-whO forEets the day
When the black cloud OF war dissolved away.
The joyous tidings spread DER land and sea,
done for! Grant has captured Lee
Up every flagstaff sprang the Stars and
Out rushed the Extras, Wild with mammoth
Down went the labOrer's hod, the school,
boys book
he cried-"the rebel army's
took 20 ,
Al what time the folks all mad with joy.
Each fond, pale mother thinking OF her boy: J
Did gray-haired fathers meeting-Have Won
heard? ,
And then a choke-and not another word.
n trembling poise between a smile and tear '
'oor Bridget thinking how she'll stuff the I
n that big cake for Johnny when he eornes. '
'ripples Rfoot-rheumatics on the Jump. {
I'D girls so loving they could hug the pump 2
funs going bang from every fort and ship
hey banged so loud. at last they Wakened
Rip. {
pare the picture, how a man appears :
hos been asleep q score or two OF years ! =
on al nave seen II 70 perfection done. 4
~ Joe Van Wink-I mean Rip Jefferson
Veil, so It Was-old Rip at last come back. Z
lailned his old wife-the present widow ;
lad HIS old sign regflded, and began
o practice physic on the same old plan. Z
ONE weeks went by-it was not long to I
wait Z
nd ipiease to call" grew frequent on the 2
slate. :
Te had, in fact, an ancient mIldewed air, [
long gray beard, a plenteOus lack ofhafr- e
he musty LOOK that always recommends 4
our good old doctor TO his ailinR friends.
ak OF your science after all is said
here's nothing Ike bare and shiny head. q
ge lends the gr2ces that are sure TO please Il
cheese. v
D Rip began TO look at peoples tongues b
nd thump their briskets called It sound n
their lungs,"D :
rushed mp his knowledge smartly as he d q
cad in old Cullen and in Doctor Good. F
ne town was healthy; for a month or two a
C gave the sexton little work TO do.
bout the time when dogday heats began. r,
.easles and mumps and mulligrubs set IN :,
lLn autumn evenings dysentery came, q q
flame; 7,
he blacksmith aned-the carpenter was !,
down, u
nd halfthe children siekened in the town. d
le sexton,s face grew shorter than before II
he sections wife bran new bonnet wore -
lings looked quite seriOus-death has got q
a grip, o.
D Old and young, In gpIte Of Doctor Rim. a