The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-01-14
OLA PODRIDA.

OLA P0DRIDA.
4l- - EzrIEEIf I
Shut out the subject Of the wealth
er, and you destroy half the worlds
conversation.
A eotempOrary says that roasted
onion bound upon the pulse on the
wrist, viii stop the most inYeterate
tooth ache in few minutes. .srsls q
"Silence in the court room, there, y
thundered a police magistrate, the
other morning; s'the Court has already
committed four prisoners without be-
ing able to hear a word of the testiInO-
n.y."
Not having heard from the debating
societies, in relation to the c0nuID-
drum, ''Why do hens always lay eggs
in the day-time~ contemporary an
swers. Because at night they are
''oS'ers 81 II AS YTIg
A pair Of No. II shoes were recent
ly found hanging to the dOOr-knOb of
a Connecticut shOe-stOre, bearing this
inscription: "Please repare these
shews. VIII eawl. for them two
nights. % IA ~ E&asf =
In describing new organ, a coun-
try editor says: "rhe swell died away
in delicious sIIfiOcation, like one sing-
ing a sweet song under the bed
clothes"
''Ikey,n said Mrs. PartingtOa the
other day, "this Economical Council
they're going TO have in Rome is a
good thing, for things are awful dear
since the war;
A teacher, catechising his scholars,
put the following question: "What
was made to give light to the Yorld?'
Matches" cried One,Oft the Young
sters, after short pause.
A preacher once said: "If you know
anything that viii maken brothers
heart glad, run quick and ten it; but
if 1t something that will cause a sigh,
bottle it up.n 2si..r.4i. .s.T5lo
Josh Billings says: "Any business
firm that hasn't got sand enough an
its craw to expend q few dollars in
making its business known to three or
four thousand people, ought to pack
up and go peddling peanuts"
Henry Ward Beecher4 dOoms one
who had given serious offence to sit
for four mortal hours in a cold church,
and listen 10 sermon read by near
sighted man who had lost his specta-
cles!"
Bangor has sharp lawyer who tried
to get his Christmas turkey for moth
ing. he asked -countryman if. the
bird was young, and being answered
IN the affirmative, asked if he would
take his oath oft. The rural poulter-
er assenteG, and the lawyer adminis-
tered the oath and demanded dollar
as his fee. -.--.
'Gias a man." asked prisoner of a
st, Louis magistrate, 'fany right to
commit nuisance?' ''NO, sir, not
even the Mayer s'Then, sir, claim
my liberty. was arrested as a nui-
sance, and as no one has a right to
commit me, / move for a nonsuit."
Send your little child to bed happy.
Whatever cares press, give it a warm
goodnight kiss as it goes toits pillow.
The memory of this in the stormy
years which fate may have in store
for the little one, viii be like Bethle-
hem's star to the bewildered shep-
herds.
An Iowa editor acknowledges the
receipt of Congressional documents in
advance of the mail. The way it Oc-
CURED was this: A wolf chased the
mail carrier about four miles. They
want the Government to put on that
route number of able-bOdied wolves
TO facilitate matters.
A lovely girl in Wisconsin recently
paonxrared q hmm 4Vsnd av.A e. 4
damage in a breach-of-promise suit
against perfidiOus lover. Her law
yer congratulated her on the amount.
when she exclaimed, with ferociOus
glance at the mulcted defendant. and
nervOusly clinching her fingers, 'pd
give every penny of it, Just to have
one good pull at his hairj'
A clergyman offered consolation to
dying New Orleans Alderman, tell
ing him that it was natures decree
that men should die; that resignation
was ChristiaIi virtue, and tllat it was
sweet to die. "What p' screamed the
Alderman, "sweet to die % "Yes, my
dear friend, it is sweet to die. Don't
you think so ?n YES, sir; but I amt
fond OF sweet things."> FSl1ei
The Allentown Pennsylvania
Democrat says: "Joseph Lazarus, of
Catasauqua, has been been reading our
paper since August i, 91860, without
paying for it. Would like to see you
come down with SIS IL, Joseph. If
you don't we are going to make the
best local of you that our readers
have seen in along time So take your
choice, Joe"
A curiosity is reported i'm EPOl, Polk
County, Oregon, in the shape of q de-
formed pig. A SOW, the property of
James Pompelly, gave birth recently
TO litter of pigs, among which was one
having the head, including ears, body,
and tail of an elephant, with the feet
and legs of a pig. 1t has a veritable
trunk and only one eye, which is loca-
ted under the trunk; has no hair ex-
cept afew hog lTistles arouHCthe eve;
the body is black and white. spetted.
A Methodist circuit preacher i'm the
southwest found, in the course of his
explorations, d member of his flock
who was opposed to Sunday schools.
The following dialogue ensued fTHow
many children have you?" eleven.
sir" ''1Ou know, sister, that our
discipline requires Us to start Sunday
school wherever we find ten children.
So if you don't send your children to
the school, 1 shall be obliged to set up
Sunday school in your house. no The
eleven were on hand the next Sunday.
John Wesley, the founder of Meth
odism, when one day riding through
the country, was saiuted by fellow
who was lying in ditch.
"Hellol Father Wesley. / Fam clad
TO see you. How do YOU do?"
az don't know you,D said Mr.. Wes-
ley, reigning up his horse. "Who are
you?' -aaa- -el.i.-li II.
"Don't know me? Why you are
the very man that converted me.p
al reckon / am, % said Mr.. Wesley.
putting spurs to his horse sat least
one thing is ewideft, the Lord had
nothing to do with il.
The astronomers are : growiiie
very annoying. One rropheeies
present TO- the earth, Iifza the
course Of a few wears 81 bran
new moon, twice as large as tile
present one. Another4 tells of a
coming telegfaphie message from the
sun, in the shape Of column OF cleo
trio light, IN form like a tOaA-stpOds
and here is another With the pleasing
information that Jupiter is burning
out, and viii shortly quit the firma-
ment in disgust. From Australia
comes the news that stars are dissOlY-
ing into star-yappr. 1t is. suggested
that we try system OF Signals to the
other planets. Who knows but that
they are signalling to us an occasional
shock of earthquake to see if we can
comprehend that. - ..s.s.fis
A strange scene occurred lately in
the Antwerp cathedral on the occasion
of the chtiste1ing of the Edn Of q tail
or named Baerts. Just as the priest
was about to begin the ceremony, the
dean entered and ordered him to stop.
Then turning tO. the godfather, N,
Heriein, q bookseller, he said: HYou
can not be the sponsor; You sell wick
ed books. - The person addressed re-
Piled: u DO what ] can to get q living;
/ sell Catholic books asI do others.g (
The other retorted :'I consider YOU
as sexeommunicated d; leave the churchp
and then addressing the beadle, tsYou
shall act as godfather ex-oficio. .s,i' The
rafio0lIz rite Vvaa than al n, f<,,-s.I /