Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-08-30

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THE DRIss-CIRCLE-CEinoli
A MATCH GAxE-Incendiarism.
THE HEIGHT OF THE SEAsoN--Fahren-
heit.
WHAT auctioneers like to see-Forbid-
ding countenancea
A NAME man brags Of growing twenty
inches Of beard in two years.
THE way to get . good wife-Get
good girl and 60 to the parson.
Why is q thunder storm Ike an onion
Because it is peal on peal.
IT is . mistake to suppose the sun il
supported in the sky by its beams.
A HAT belonging to the first Governor
of Massachusetts 10 still preserved.
DIVIDENDS are applied 70 keep the pol.
icy in force in the Washington Life, OF
New YORK. F
No wonder eyes sometimes look plead
ing and sorrowful; they are under the laah
al the time.
WHY should Romeo NOT have cared for
the month of June! Because It was not
July yet (Juliet).
THE Charter Of the Washington Life
secures all the profits to the insured.
More than this cannot be done.
A GUEST at hotel in Leavenworth ate
over dozen ears of corn at one meal the
day before his funeral.
A CUTE American naturalist has OBJ
served that the bee as it flies from the
hive ID, oddly enough, going to hum.
AN old farmers description of point
less preacher was: "a good man, likely !;
but he will rake with the teeth up."
IT Is fact that statue diminishes In
size when exposed TO a shower of rain |;
it instantly becomes statue wet.
A YOUNG man recently married in lBe-
lott, Wis, helped his wife, while counting,
to sew together rags enough to make 80
yards of carpet.
FoLLY-To think you can make pork
out Of pig iron, or that you can become
shoemaker by drinking sherry cobblers.
A NAN in Iowa City, in drawing his
check TO pay railroad bond tax, made II
payable to "highway robbers or bearer"
ONE pound of coal in the hands Of q
good chemist can by its consumption be
made to evaporate, or convert into steam,
fourteen pounds of water. 49,
A New ENGLAND old maid, who re-
Gently went to Nevada, writes home that
she already has "a husband and pair of
twins, and hasn't really got acquainted
there yet"
DIsRAsHDand pills, when they enter
mans body, are like two lawyers when
they undertake to settle his affairs; they
compromise the matter by laying out the
patient.
A WOMAN lately carried q child to .
London hospitals child in a nearly dy-
ing state-and the doctor ELECTED from
her that she had been administering spi-
ders TO II asa cure for whooping-cough.
A DELAWARE man, who went to Cali
fornia, last year, and purchased $se
worth of stock IN a gold mine, has recent
ly been offered $40. 600 for his claim.
THERE are 27,177 bath houses attached
to private dwellings in Philadelphia, and
the paved streets Of that city, II all placed
in one line, would reach to the extent Of
AIS miles.
THERE lisa clergyman in Maine whose
entire income Is tour hundred dollars
year, and he has family to support. OF
this sum he gave thirty-four dollars, last
year, for charitable purposes.
A JOKER in San Antonio, Texas, paint
ed and disguised himself as an I1dian,
went to his own home, scared his wife
into fit, set the dogs to bowling, and
caused his child to jump into cistern.
A NEWARK widow recently found in
the coat pocket OF her deceased husband,
q book, showing that he had placed In
savings bank OF that city some $500, of
which she had no previous knowledge.
A CALIFORNIA paper finds It necessary
to explain that the peculiar taste OF the
water in an Alameda well was caused by
the presence OF six dead cats. Its medici-
nal virtues had previously been highly
praised.
THE builder of church now In course
Of erection In England, when the toast of
replied that he was more fitted for the
scafold than for public speaking"
BRIDGET, in reply to remark Of her
mistress, who said that she had put too
much garlic In the omelets, replied that
she did 30 that 1t would not taste so
strongly of the eggs, which were bad.
REV HoBARr SEYMOUR calculates that
OF all Christendom, 170,3l4,000 are con-
nected with the Roman Church, 104 641,-
600 with Protestant ChurchsA 81 ,568 600
with Greek, Armenian and other smaller
communiOns.
An old couple in Cambridge, Mass,
quarrelled, add the man took . watch he
gave his wife ct their marriage and sold II
In Boston. She then stole his false teetn
while he slept and kept them till he
brought the watch back. Dnw gAmei
A PRUDENT man advised his drunken
servant TO put by his money for rainy
day. In few weeks the master inquired
how much Of his wages he had saved
Faith, none ct ALL" said he; "it fxined
yesterday and 1t ali went"
JOHNNY was Watching his mother
wreathing her head with the lovely orange
bloom OF our Louisiana gardens. Oh,
NAL" he said, "how sweet that III You
iust look ~ II pa was dead, and You were
going TO be married ever again."
A ScoTcHxAH who had put up ct an
inn was asked in the morning how he
slept. "Ah, mon" replied Donald, "nae
vera well either, but I waa muckle better
or than the bugs, for del one O. them
closed IN &c the hale NIGHT" 4.
DrARsoRx Corr, successful farmer OF
Tufton Borough, N. a., has and now
wears 3 pair Of boots manufactured for
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