The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1870-03-24
Mrs. JOANNA BEEzUM

Mrs. JOANNA BEEzUM
and husband,
You are both asked
To Mr.. AND Mrs. NOSE SkINNER's SILVER
WEDDING.
n u ary II h.
Re cherish fond hopes in your direction in
reference to SilUer Pot.
On the back of each invitation was
neat gilt scroll enclosing the wirds, "Please
avoid dollar stores.''
To say the affair was a success would
be defrauding the dictionary. l have
looked that venerable pamphlet through,
but fail TO find word that meets the case
Nothing short of seven syllables and
French roof will do, SO give it up
On the arrival of the guests, took
charge of the presents with as much emo>
tion as the value of the present called for.
A silver pie>knife received with husky
tremOr in my voice, while an elegan: silver
teapot caused me 10 entirely break down
with emotion, but L recovered, and went
through The trying ordeal with unfinching
bravery. Those that didn't bring pres
ents were told that we were not az home,
which of course made the gathering more
select. We received some very fine pres
ents, including share in silver mine, a
lock of gray hair streaked with silver,
some silver tones from maidens voice,
a silver beam from the moon, and some
caster oil made from silver castor.
Then my wife and stood up and re-
ceived the silver tongued congratulations
of our guests on our happy married life.
But didn't need 'em. No, should say
not. When | see a man utterly crushed
in spirit and baidheaded at the premature
on hand, and wife who is ready to fur
nish him with more black eyes at the
lowest market price, pause ere co.,
gratulate him on matrimonial bliss. Not
that would institute that Mrs. Skinner
is not as gentle as dove in the olive
branch business. Not at all. | simply
say that in a case like this. should prob
ably pause TO the extent of two semicolons
and comma ere [ congratulated him
If fpeople would only learn to congratu-
late old maids and old bachelors, how
much more sensible If would be.
l had previously engaged beautiful
band, who had agreed to discourse plain
tive strains at the reasonable price of
twenty cents strain, but, as they failed
to put in an appearance owing to ques-
ton of settlement, / was at my wits end
for music. As luck would have it, though,
l found an Italian Court down at the
Police Station, who was professor of that
noble instrument, the hand organ. He
was project master of the instrument,
having spent two years studying for bass
drummer. and amid his inspiring strains
we were soon ''slipping our heavy fantas-
tic toes in tie hazy waltz, as Lord Bryon
says-Mrs Stowe to the contrary not
withstanding.
AT ten o'clock, the Hon. A. Phrawd,
of the Mutual Admiration Society of
which | am President, come forward to
present me with a silver headed cane
This society is founded ON the following
sterling principles: l. Mutual admiration
among the members. 2. Presentation of
something nice once in while to each
member as a slight testimonial of the
esteem in which he is held by the other
members 8. "Scratch my back, and
I'll scratch yours. For instance. L
start subscription to give Jones watch.
The members all subscribe, and make
the presentation speech. Jones, in graft
tude, starts a silver urn for me, and then
we jointly recognize Robinson's sterling
qualities and give cane, and he retail
ates by starting subscription for Brown
&c.
Mr.. Jones' speech was full of pathos,
and, for the most part, entirely original.
This know, because l wrote it for him
myself AS he stepped forward large
hush fell upon that assembly, and you
could have distinctly heard the explosion
of Parrot-gun. He said: ''Mr. Skin~
ner, a .party of eleven gentlemen, recog-
nizing your sterling qualities, and knowing
vou to be the soul of honor, venture to
offer you this cane as a slight testimonial
of the esteem in which you are held by
the citizens Of Boston. May you value