davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
10 the ealtor Of tie Aiernuaria Ga2ettc

Sir: The first notice you have taken OF
tho largo improvements making upon my
coal deck, at the foot Of Wolfe street. l. find
unds or the bead of Local News" in your yes
terday's issue, and which | regret TO say is in
correct, and calculated to damage my business,
by loading my business Ncquaintancos to sup
pose that | was about to abandon tie coal trade
at this point.
! have not, as you Stale, suspended i'm prove
mcnts, but am adding appliances Of the most
approved kind for tho handling Of coal, and
will only make them less extensive at present
than | would havo dono had the Alexandria
Canal Company taken II more liberal and prac-
teal view Of the situation in the mattor Of tolls.
This company's policy will, therefore, only
have the effect Of causing my companies to ship
more Of their coal at Georgetown and less here.
Respectfully, &c,
NH 1I-oo1m JNO. L. AGNEH, Agt.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
pEILip rARA,

3bEILiI ANA'
PEACTICA l. 2 LII MBER.
No - South Fairfax street.
The oldest and best established Plumbing
establishment in tho city Ali work done With
!ispalch, and in tho most durable and work
manlikc manner Satisfaction guaranteed.
JOHBiNG dorc 1T short notice, and By him.
self or ,hn iln.i az nrI"nrn workman. dec ]
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
NH 15-aolm

Away with SpectacleS.-Old Eyes made
new, easily, without doctor or medicines. Sent
post paid on receipt of lOc. Address
DR.. 4. B. FOOTE,
NH 7-3m 100 Lexington Av., n. Y.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21

HIRAM a. WOOD. JAS. B. PRICE.
WOOD s. PRlCE,
MACHINISTS,
Having rented the shop formerly occupied by
W. 5. Moore. are prepared to do all work in
their line with n~eatness and dispatch.
STEAM ENGINES built to order, and 70.
pair work Of all kinds promptly attended to.
We respectfully solicit g share Of tho public
patronage. WOOD q PRICE,
Corner q Royal ard Wilkes sts.,
SEP eff Alexandra. Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
EER. LpOCkERMAN, -
SURGEON Dnurrsr. @

Grad. Of Bait. College 0 Dental Surgery, 1e44)
No. II. SOUTH WASHINGTON ST.,
ALEXANDRIA, VA.
Or. L. respectfully informs the public that
for t4ycnty years he has given especial attention
to the preservation of the natural teeth, and
wish to saus them to call on him, knowing that
many are extracted ard destroyed that by pro.
per treatment might be preserved and made
useful for life. Artificial teeth inserted ONLY
AS APPROVED BY PROFESSORS AND COLLEGES.
nov Nl--tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
EEED'k. PAFF.
II M Or KIM street,

t'i'bb ~ =
Il No. % King street,
Hss iu:t rGcsjys1 . oR R%ysi!yy Ai IN m en BaLs,
- - NIX ,ba r.nncini attention Of the ladies' is
no @o @" re:p ec" f.i!!2:jj nvi,ed. AIsS' in in order ,dsEt to t elose
out out l FIJI n" soA T.oi he S ,,2S: the 119 s en- '''SS stock sR' at
'e cu.so,a wo:k made to Gr1e, 3. : at the sh0 priest
h'L't =, Pon,i ing ncatls ard promptly exc
H NM Dont', forge! the lumber, SO King, st.
\. B-Order= from the country promptly at
e.. NH l4-lW
Ca II 70 AEKlVE e.
| off, Tor sale the cargo Of the British Bark
H. arrive from Liverpool.
200 sacks W~orlhington's Fine.
) @ sacks t;"r-'
go sacks j, Il - y Da'crTs
4yGJ .ucks CIR und alum. !! lei 10 to tie ton.
ALSO,
Goo IN Eo,s G,ourt Alum Srit. In bulk.
g.. II. LAMBERT,
f,h lift No. 10 Union wharf.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
fam ES +. CLARK,

ATTORNEY AT LAW.
ERENTsvILLE, PRINCE WILLIAM COUNTY, Va.
Will attend promptly to any BUSINESS in the
Courts Of Prince William, Fairfax and Stafford
counties. p. VIM. co., dec lily
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21

FINES B. RODGKJN.
DENTAL SURGEON.
lG7adaste Baltinnre College Dental SurgciT:
Office, cor. Washington s. Prince sts.:
hle1sLdcia, Va.
NITROUS OXIDE GAS administered.
SEP 20-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-03-21
PROFESSIONAL.

4 G. TABER,,
COUNTY SURVEYOR.
Fer Alexandria county, Virgins.
Ofice with Brawner & Co., 10 North Fai>:sx
=:raat, between King street and tbs
Mansion House, Alex
andria, Virginia.
Surveying, Civil Engineering. Oraugnti1a.
&c, rzeouted with accuracy and dispatch
nov TT
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
THE FOLLOWING ADVANTAGES

he AMERICAN possesses alone and undsturbcd
there being no other machine ever pretending them
]. 1t has larger and stronger construction
than any family machine, admitting larger pieces
of work. thus fitting the machine to family and
manufacturing purposes well, without need of
two machines. 1t has Ax5 inches clear room.
2. 1t homs any width or thickness from one six
teenth cambrc to two inches CLOTH beaver, Canvass
or leather
3. 1t binds coat, a skirt. or a hat without any
braid Oh binding whatever.
a. 1t folds up the brm of hat to any fullness
5. 1t overseams a sheet or Brussels carpet
o. 1t makes beautiful cyelet work.
T. 1t embroders on the edge.
Z. 1t makes button holes Of any size on any ma.
| tcrial. ~
~ IL mas the braiding machine which makes
orSd oil aAy size color al the rate of $50 wards
per hour. Tins sells for $40 extra.
TO- 1t always won the first premium at every
exhibition IN which it has been entered,
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
Jersey Lightning.

Who it was that invented alcohol | am un-
able to tell without Icing but it would hav
bin tust klass blessing for the rest of us if he
and the Ticker had both ov them been split on
the ground and. neither bin suppcd up since.
The Devil himself, with all hiz genius for a
ten strike, could not have rolled ball more
serviceable for hiz bizness on earth. Rum IL
the Devils stool pigeon, hiz right bower, his
high, low, jack and the game
CRATE menny, with dyspeptc morals argy
that lickOr is Indispensable for manufacturing
and doktOr purposes and they hold that yu
couldn' t raise barn that would stand without
emmy good old Jamaka rum, and sum say that
pudding sass, without emmy speerits in it, il no
healthier than common goose grease.
But all OF these argys are furnished free ov
cost, by tho Devil himself, and emmy man who
advances them iZ telling without knowing it,
perhaps lies that will weigh, at a ruff esti-
mate, at least pound apiece. But my object
in these preliminary remarks IL tew git good
chance to tel! what l know about Jersey
lightning, lone ov alcohol imps y as a man
uIakturing and metaphysical agent.
Jersey lightning IL cider brandy, three hours
| old, still born, and quicker than flash. This
juice is drunk raw by all the old sports. and
winds down the thrut, like an old shee goose
setting on eggs, or hot iron stuck into ice wa
ter. Three horns a day of this Ticker will tan
a mans interior in six months, so that he can
swallow live, slX-tootcd krab, feet fuot, and
not waste wink.
1t don fat man (cider brandy don't like
whiskee duz, but Fuckers him uplike fried 90
tatOze. Ii a man can survive the fust three
years of Jersey lightning, he IL safe then fol
the next 70 years tcw cum, aud keeps look
ing every day more like a three year oi i
red pepper pod, hotter and hotter. Al
old cider brandy drinkcr will steam, in
sudden shower Of rain, like pile Ov stable
manure, and his breath smells like the bung
hole OF a'rum cask lately emptycd.
When Jersey lightning IL fust born it tastes
like bllelng turpentlne and cayenne half anc
half, and will raize blood blister on a pair @
old kowhlde brOgans in l5 minnits, and appl
ed externally will cure the rumatism or Kill tn
patient, forget which. The fust horn MAJ
takes ov this lickor will make him think he ha
swallowed gaslight, and lie will go out benin,
the barn and try tew die but kant.
The more villainous the drink the more in
veterate are those who drink it. | kant tel
yer whether cidcr-brandec will shorten an oil,
sucker days or not, for they generally out
live all the rest Ov the Majors, and die lust a
soon as the old tavern changes hands and j
opened on temperance principals. One bott
Ov sasSafras or ginger popp IL az fatal tew thes
old fellers az a rifle ball is to a bed bugg.
L would do almoste ennything but murder
tew save young man from Jersey lightning
but trieing tew save an old one IL like trieiu
tew put the fire out ov hoer log you Nigh
az well let it burn up, for the ashes is wort
more than the logg.-JoSh BHtn0s
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
WHOLE NO. sos

SHARP's THE WORD.-Old Judge D
Was an eccentric man Of prompt action, and,
moreover, bachelor. Being very rich, NAM
mas and blooming girls of the period tried to
ensave his affections in hymens fctters,
though without success. Cupid 5 arrows had
not reached the judge heart with any particu-
lar love for him. One day he entered a res
taurant IN Philadelphia and was waited on by
a. pretty girl, at whom he looked so hard that
she nOticci it and blushed deeply lie imme-
dlately desired her to SIT down minute inform
ed her who he was, and asked her point blank
to marry h,m, and told her he would give her
TIL he had finished his dinner to decide what
answer she would make He then commenced
his meal, the Young woman waiting on him all
the while. He never took 50 long to eat his
dinner before or after, nor was he ever known
to DISPOSE Of so much proycndcr at one sitting.
At length he could hold no more, so getting up
he called the young lady, and in his usual short
way, said:
8 Time up. Yes, or no, my dear"
p" cs, sir, blushed the maiden
Without another word he slipped her arm
through his, and walked up to the astonished
proprietor. informed him that the young lady
was to be married TO him right away, and beg
ged his company to witness the ceremony.
They were speedily joined together in we'd
lock- and what is most singular, they fell deep
ly in love with each other after marriage and
made the best model couple to be found in the
country. The Judge always held that at best
| marriage was but a lottery, and he had drawn
u prize
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
tPUBLIC-NO.ll.l

m M giving the consent OF the Cn ed States
O piinSc across the Wiameee river, in Oregon tho
city OF Portland to the east bank OF river. ~
lie enacted hy the Senate House
Inc Chted states u America assembled That
the consent of the United States
ration OF the city OF Portland in the Oregon erect
or cause 10 he erected bridge with diyergng and
toOtwayS and double draws and across the Womst
rNer between the city Of Portland
river time within
Provided That the said bridge shall he constructed and
u rs not I" ohStruct impair nuriOISy modify
lXatioh OF the river; and in order compliance W h
posing To erect the previous
sfuclou OF the bridge sh Il submit War
p t the bridge with detailed
posed site OF the bridge and tor of
hiS 81 the Sam" together with all
S SAID bridge aud river that he deemed by
= cTtary OF war t. determine whether
uu Will conorm To the prescribed conditions
river Provided further That the Secretary Of war may
an U1lcrr to SIprttd the or
river with a view to said location. " '
SEC 2 Ana be II further enacted, That
war Is herrhv n horned and directed upon receiving
pan ana map ana other information, upon being
that Orltgt huIit on such plan aud
form 10 the prescribed conditions
Impair OF nJur OuSy nloiv the navigation of s river t
Otl lt sam corporation" association
I" erect the same that he
in% sue" cat ion the said corporation or
pauy may pf"ce" to the erection
strictly T. tir approved plan and location.
retaI u war approve the plan and location
notify the said association
SEC 3 And he IL further That
ot tA' 'y al Portland hereby nj
-" "ttr - tUlsIy~N a~ power to hc 10
ruiz" " reCualinnS Tor the 0t said and for ,
th,y shalt deem lust and reasonable. ~ 80
Approved, February
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

We are told that an ultra fashionable young
lady at one OF the watering places dresses eight
unes day-that is, adopts eight entirely diff.
terent outfits. OF course the dav spoken of i
Intended to mean twenty four hours. No lady
can make an elaborate toilet under two hours :
SO this young person must devote sixteen hours
to the hard labor of dressing and undressing,
and have only eight hours left for eating, sleep,
ing, walking, riding, dancing, flirting and read
ing Her labors are, at this rate, more ariu-
Gus than those Of washerwOman. Indeed.
they are more wearing than those of n railway
labOrer. " T. Erprcss.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
TpUBLtC-Nn.
An Act to establish land dIstrict IN wv

Tor other purposes
be rntcei by the Senate aud House
nr United states Of America in Congress assembled That
e pu anS :" the nlte States in the territory Of
S shall constitute land district, be called the let o
wyoming the "iice tor which shall established at such
place. within said district the President Of the United
States may from time to .ime direct; pre-enptoU
ten led to said Territory. - '' "a
And be it further enacted That the President of the
t states be- and is hereby. authorized appoint and
WI SV the adycr and consent Of the Senate. surveyor
r Yonng with salary three Thousand dollars ppr An
NUM- VINO shall locate his office such
oi the Interior shall from time direct aud whose
powers 0bgat0ns, responsibilities allowances for cprL
hre oce rent fuel and inciena shall be- the sam,
As those O the Colorado under the drec
un OF ne secretary OF the Interior and such
hr may from time to time deem advisable to give him
SEC j. Anf be II further enacted. That the
hereby Is authorized to appoint, y With the vice An,
consent OF the Senate register receiver SAID district
"o shall rSpectve be required to reside the said
once ana who shall have the
ddtes, and the as are nov am
| nitr1 States. ~ ~ ~ " "
Approved, February 5, 1870.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

Nc valid reason can be assigned for paying
woman less than a man for the same work.
We are glad to find, therefore, that the new
act OF Congress equalizing the wages Of clerks
OF either sex, Of the same grade, is to be
promptly recognized in the Treasury Depart
ment We wish there were any hope that the
same justice could be extended to the large and
most useful class of schOolteachers. BY what
equity man is paid $1,000 per anuum for
keeping school, while woman only receives
$1,000 Tor precisely the same service, we have
never been able to discover. The same remark
will apply to the case of those ladies who act
as saleswomen, book keepers, &c. Whatever
may be our views upon other points, We are
perfectly sure that Equality of Work and
Equality OF Wages should be inseparable
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
POeI2'V.
GRAY HAIRS.

Like the first flake of snow
On some clOud-reachiug hill,
While the valley below
is blooming still,
Though the silvery sheen
Mid the raven locks play,
Still the heart may be green
While the temples are gray.
Like the leaves that we first
In their faded dress see,
With the green intcrSpersed
OF the still fruitful tree;
Though we. gray hairs among
The dark tresSes behold,
Yet the heart may be young,
When the head has grown old.
Like the first starry CLEANS
On the brow OF the night,
While the Western sky beams
With its warm, mellow light;
Though the ringlets may show
Here and there white thread,
Yet the heart may still glow
Underneath a gray head.
Though the frost of long years
The lite currents unfold,
Though the thin form appears
As impassIve and cold
As the long, frozen night
At the pole, still the head
Never vet was so white
That tho heart was quite dead.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

A very good story is told of Dr. Storrs and
Henry Ward Bcechcr. On some public occa-
sion DR.. Sttorrs was to. preach in Plymouth
Church. After the celebrities had got into
the pulpit, Mr. Beccher said: "Brother
StOrrs, directly under where you will stand to
preach is a bapti!try of the most approved pat
tern. 1t was built by jealous Baptist, and is
just the orthodox length and depth. The
platform is controlled by spring near my foot.
There is at this time about three feet Of water
in the tank. When brother breaches for me,
and is very long. and dry, | touch the spring
and let him in. :"
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

AS BROAD AS IT is LONd.-A German sta
tlstical writer remarks that the invention of
the sewing machine has enabled one woman
to sew as much as a hundred could sew by hand
Il century ago; but, he continues, one women
now demands as much clothing as "a hundred
did century ago that matters are not
much changed after all.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

Coop SENSE The great trouble among
American youth is the lack Of application and
thing that cannot be learned with superficial
study, l., siv,n The go-hy f,r something less te-
iious aul irksomc Study and hard labor are
looked at troln wrong standpoint and as a
consequence, the clerkship ranks arc full of un-
employed and half-Starved young men, and the
professions are overlooking with medocrity,
while good mechanics find plenty of work at
living prices. The evil spoken Of is felt Sc
nou>ly Those who work at trade do it in
SO loose and careless manner that they are
not competent to 90 the work they promise to
do. Among the loulcst dcrlaimcrs for the
rights of labor are mcn AMI women who claim
no rights thai belong to labor well performed.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

As Gov. Fairchild, of Wisconsin, and
friend were riiing by mail from Madison late
ly, two young ladies with their beaux entered
the crowded ear, and the distinguished gen
tlemcn surrendered their seats TO the fair ones.
But great was their surprise to see the young
men occupy their seats and take their fair com
the Governor, we might have done that"
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

While the French Emperor was doing all in
his power to iniurc and humiliate the United
States during the great war of the Rebellion.
there were two hundred thousand German born
citizens lighting under the flag Of the Union,
and offering their lives for the liberties Of
America These two facts, in themselves 70
far To explain the sympathies of the American
people with Germany in the present war.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

The laws of lnliana, backed up by a deci-
sion OF the Supreme Court, place all who par
tlclpate in the species of gambling usually car
ried on at church and charity fairs on the same
footing as other lottery gamblers. They are all
liable to heavy penalties -fnes and imprison
mCnt.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

A cotemporary says: eve have before us
a letter from young hero near the Colorado
line who writes to his father tell you it is
tough to come in worn out with the hard work
of breaking prairie, and have to go to making
must go Fast and get cook that doesn't t
wear trousers Here : a chance for the
girls
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

The French Emperor should not meddIe
with other peoples business. He interfcrred
III Mexican affairs, and lost by it. lie meddled
with American affairs to help jeff. Davis, and
suffered by it. lie was humiatcd in his at
tempts at interfering with German affairs four
years ago. In now meddling with Spanish and
l'russian affairs, he may meet with the sama
kind Of bad luck which he ha. previously suf-
Tered by this olici0u. intermedlling
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

\ sick man in Boston, who noticed his lit
tie daughter looking eagerly at some fruit at
his bedside, said to her You would not
take them away from your sick papa, would
you?' She replied he>itatingly, "No, I
wouldn't" and then ;oloredup, and ingenious
y added: " But, papa, tell story when
say so. He gave her the fruit
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

A Coop OLD SoPT.-When the Fife. nth
Pennsylvania Calvary entered the town of
Dawson, Georgia in the spring of 1865, among
those who welcomed them was negro woman
whose appearance denoted extreme old age
lmpclled ny curiosity, one of the boys rode up
to her and asked, " How old are YOU auntie p
WeI chile, she replied, . don't zactly
know how Old | is; but | was here when
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

Or. Beechcr often related the anccdote of a
minister who preached six sermons to show
who MelchiScdck was, and closed his last ser
mon with the summary: And 50 We see,
brethren, that We don't know who Mclchisedek
was, and that it taint no matter.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

NOT At ALL PARTICULAR.-A bachelor says
that al he should ask for in wife would be
good temper, health, good understanding,
agreeable phySiognomy, good figure, good
connection, domestic habits, resources of
amusement, good spirits, conversational talents,
elegant manners and money!
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

NoUDo0ISM- newspapers ofTexaS have
Recently been dwelling at considerable length
upon the alleged rites and ceremonies of " You
dnOsm, a supposed form Of Heather belief,
asserted to prevail extensively among the col
ored people of Texas These accounts, how
ever, 1t appears, were very much exaggerated
and originated in the insane delusions of an
old negro woman, who, on May 10Th announc
ed to her companions eight or nine male la
borers on the same farm, that she had received
revelation that the millennium was to come
on May 10Th. After preaching for whole day
to large congregation and gaining many fol
lowers, she commanded them to burn one half
OF their furniture and clothing, to give away
their Farming implements, to cut up one. half
ol all their crops by the roots, and to commit
various GXtravagant actions. These excuses
lasted for ten days, when the ncghborng
whites endeayOred to put "a stop to these mad
proceedings. The old woman fled, but was
pursued, and on her capture and confinement,
her followers suddenly were awakened from
their delusiOns, and commenced working on
their ruined fields, the farming utensils having
been restored by the persons to whom they had
been given. They were however destitute of
clothing and food, and were thrown on the
charity of their neighDOrs. The insanity of
the prophecies had reached the pitch of com
manding her followers to eat the decayIng car
casses OF their dog, which, in pursuance of a
previous order they had killed. This last COM
mand seems to have been the turning of the
delusion, although just previously many of the
children and men OF the neighborhood we're, at
her command, severely beaten, for not Joining
the new sect. This account confines ''Vou.
doOism to Il very limited section, but the ex-
element might have extended much more
widely had i; not been for the interference of
the white ncighbors, who arrested the pr0pb-
etess, and convinced her followers that t6ev
were laboring under delusion. Phda,{clphtr
| LedQer. f'''''
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27
THE AMERICAN

Can be had a plain sowing machine w;tbou, ,,,o
buttonhole and Overseaming, at SIS less than tho
given prices, Wv
We want few reliable agents everywhere, 10
whom we will! make it an object to sell these p,pu.
lar machines. Pr"
Machines will he sent to any address on RECENT
OF price, Every machine has full outfit Tor plain
sewing, hcmming, &c.
We simply ask an examination TO verify olI mo
state.
Smyrna times., 1870-07-27

Well, here is.a young woman who, instead
OF attending conventions and making speeches
and signing petitions and Sending her auto
graph to Tn. Tilton, esq, has really done
something to demonstrate practically that wo-
men are as good as men, and little better.
Name, Miss Watson; age, lG habitation. New
portville, Bucks Co., Penn; exploit, cutting,
with span of horses and reaper, % acres OF
wheat and 70 do. Of grass. When last heard
from, Miss Watson was about to crown hci
achievements by cutting 10 acres of oats. Forty
conventions might have debated forty days and
as many nights whether the grain cutting ca
pacity of woman is equal naturally to the grain
cutting capacity of man, and, after immense
wrangling, have come to no conclusion worth
mentioning. Our Bucks County heroine dosn't
talk, but she goes and does it. What a timely
lesson.-Er