Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-11-16

GAl1G II hurts INT pupil
A sign at one Of the improvised no.
tells in Springfield, Mass, reads:
"BOreding by the meel, and Logging at
awl hours"
A printers tOast-WOman : the fair
est work in creation. The edition is
very large and no man need be with
out a copy.
at is a cur, us fact" says some ct
OmOlogist, "that il is the female mos
quito that tOTments US" A bachelor
says that it is not at all curious.
In the Spanish Cortes, Prim formal
" presented AOsta as a candidate for
the throne. Castellar's resolution Of
censure was rejected by a vote Of 122
to A. The final election for a King
"a fixed for the 18th.
A mother out West recently ad-
dressed her daughter thus: "My
daughter, you are now fifteen years Of
age, engaged to be married, and with
out a freekle on your face. I have
done my duty"
at say, Deacon, have you hunted
down that chap that stole your over
coat and umbrella ." mo, 1 have not
mOlested him he'll fetch up in a
world where neither %Overcoat nor
umbrella will beO the slightest use to
him."
The most fashionable marriage now
a days are the simplest. Several have
occurred lately in which there were
neither Bridesmaid or grOOmsman,
cards, receptions, or display. The
fashion is one of the most sensible of
modern times.
The average weight, all the year
round, of that portion Of wOman's
clothing which is supported from the
waist is between ten and fifteen
pounds. Are weak backs o wonder?
Put on suspenders, girls!
A young woman in Sacramento,
Cal, is threatening to get a divorce
on the novel ground Of "prOtracted
festivities" She says her husband
celebrated his marriage by getting
drunk, and has kept up the festival
ever since.
An Albany undertaken hasinvented
a coffin which "fjlds down" and ex-
poses the body at full length, making
il appear as If reclining on a sofa. It
is designed to save people o. weak
nerves the shocking sight of a coffin
that looks like a cogin.
Some wags took a drunken fellow,
placed him in a coffin with the lid so
that he could raise it, placed him in a
graveyard, and waited to see the ef-
Fa0F A FfaR N chan tine Nha Eu-~-a 81
the liquor left him, and his position
being rather confined, he sat upright,
and after looking around, exclaimed
"Well, I'm the first that's riz, or else
Pm confoundedly belated."
Brigham Young is troubled in con-
sequence Of the gradual decline Of his
absolute authority in Utah. So is his
Holiness the Pope at the loss Of his
temporal power in the Peninsular.
Both these heads of the Church have
been pronounced infallible but now
neither has any longer that undis-
puted sway in his dOminiOns which
each respectively held so long
A citizen Of Buffalo was passing
through one of the back streets Of that
city Sunday afternoon. when he both
observed and heard a little boy crying
Justify, Approaching the urOhin he
kindly asked: "Why little boy, what
do you want?" Looking up into the
interrOgator's face, the precious
juvenile responded. in whining ac-
cents, i've got the beller-ache, that's
what / want! :"
A hopeful Emeralder.-TwO EN-
eralders working on a new building
were dry, and one bet the other & piug
of whiskey that he could net carry
him to the top In his hOd. No sooner
said than done. Mike shOuldeTed Pat,
and after slow and painful Juggling
dumped the precious burden on the
roof. "Ah, Mickey, me boy" said
Pat, rather crestfallen, "ye've won the
bet but mind yea, as yez was passin'
the fourth story yeZ stumbled, an /
had hopes!"
An old German farmer, named Pc
ter Mock, at late court day at Graves
ton, Kentucky, was a party in a suit
in which a jury was empanneled. The
judge asked Peter if he objected to
any one on the jury. Yes" said
Peter, earnestly, Il objects ter Pill
Franklin "Why Bill Franklin is
not on the jury" said the judge
well, 1 don't care chudge; I
objects ter Pill Franklin anyway he's
meddling init my pisnessa all der time,
and l objects ter Pill franklin on
principle all der time" His objec-
ton couldn't be considered under the
circumstances,
Poetry Is not merely rhyme, it is
something more than that, il is invis-
ible truth as eOntradistinguished from
truth that is visible, glancing from
earth to heaven, and back again from
heaven to earth on the swift wings Of
Imagination. There is poetry OF
music, poetry OF painting, poetry Of
wOmanhOOd, poetry of action. There
is poetry in the elOds OF earth, in the
sunbeams, i'm the lilies Of the field, In
the roar Of Niagara, In the thunder of
the hurricane, in the soft breezes OF
the morning, or in the golden sunset
Of the evening. There is the poetry
Of the battlefield. There Is poetry in
everything, aud yet the poetry is not
In these things, but in ourselves. The
is in the mind,
A traveller IN Nevada tells a story
Of family Which consisted Of the
husband, his wife and two grown
The old lady was the only one
of the family who did not take a little
of the 20, be joyful" Sitting by
the fire 2 few minutes, the old man
a wink, aud the visitor follow
ed him out. Stopping by a shed, he
out a lOng-necked bottle, re-
marking: 81 have to keep this hid,
for the boys might get to drinking,
and the old woman would raise the
They took a drink and re-
turned to the fireside. Soon Tom,
the eldest son, asked the visitor to see
the horses, and taking him behind
the barn, pulled out a flask, saying;
81 have to keep this hid, for the old
man will get drunk, aud then the
devil Is to pay" and they both took
a drink and returned. Soon Bob
on the visitors toe and walk
ed OFF. the visitor following. AS
they reached the pig pen, Bob drew
out a gOOdsized bottle remarking:
"Y0u know the old man and Tom will
get drunk, and I have to hide this"
Our friend concluded he could not
stand il 10 drink eOn1denti9llY
against the whole family, and started
IN Gold HfU