Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1870-08-25
NO. 81.
An Awkward Witness.

Lawyers have a belief that when a wit
ness begins to yawn and look extra in
different, he is probably lying. A fun
ny colloquy between witness of this kind
and counselor occurred few weeks ago in
a court held not very far west. The par
tlcular matter at issue was an account of
several years standing defendant swore
that he had paid it in full, and, to corrob-
crate him, called this witness. The fell
low mounted the stand, took the oath,
CAPPED and testified directly that the mon
ey was paid that he was present and
saw the money paid Then he was
turned over to the plaintiff for cross-cx-
animation.
Lawyer. You say you saw the mon
ey paid?
itness.-(Gaping) did.
Lawyer.-Where was plaintiff when de-
PENDANT came
Witness.-In the barn. ca wide gap. }
Lawyer.-What month was it?
Witness.-(Without hesitating.) Feb
ruary.
Lawyer. What time Of day?
Witness.-Bout four in the morning.
Lawyer. Before light2
Witness.-Y- a-a=s-a little
Lawyer.-Then, sir, how could you
see the money paid?
Witness.-I--I(gapingl lit match
Lawyer,-What was the plaintiff do
ing2
Witness .-Mowing.
Lawyer.-What? Now, sir, Just ex-
plain this jury how man can be moving
in his barn, before day light, IN the month
of February.
I The witness saw that he had been hope
lessly involving himself in quagmire of
falsehood. The eyes of court, jury and
lawyers were upon him, and he saw no
way to extricate himself from his diem
ma. But something had to be done
and SO, with a noncholant yarn. he drawl-
ed out the words "Well, Squire
| don't know as I care much about this
case, any way Packaras Monthly.
PARIS vs. RICHMOND. The loss of bat
tie in which but sinble wing of an i'm
mcnse army was engaged, say 40, 900 out
of $50, 900 men, two hundred miles off,
has thrown Paris, city of two millions of
souls, into apparent CONSERVATION. An
easy promenade there by the Prussians in
the course of few weeks is anticipated
by many journals in this country and in
Great Britain. If such an event is real
lied, says the Cincinnati Enquirer, it will
strongly contrast the American with the
French style Of fighting. In 1861 the
United States called out as large an army
to conquer the South, which did not have
to exceed six millions Of white people, as
the Prussians have to overthrow the EN-
pire OF France with its forty millions
Of people. The objective point was Rich
mond, the Southern capital. It was but
one hundred and twenty miles from Wash
ington. Hardly any regular Notifications
existed until the confines Of Richmond
we're approached.
Yet, with over one million men in
arms, we failed to capture Richmond for
four long years. Army after army was
launched against it, commanded by our
ah.est Cheers. They were repeatedly
beaten and turned back Such was the
way in which the American citizens in the
South, who were opposed to the Govern
ment, contended for their capital. Unlike
Paris, it did not have in its own popula-
ton men sufficient to combat an army of
hundreds of thousands. But the South
ern people were desperately in earnest,
and fought in that spirit. If Paris is
taken in a short time, it will be because
the French nation is not united, and will
not rally in behalf of the Government.
They have resources enough to keep all
Europe at bay fogyears, if they were
united among themselves