The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-06-08
Death of Queen Elizabeth.
BY JOHN QUILL,

Queen Elizabeth Is dead. 1t doesn't
make any difference how we got that IN
formation. This is none of our tight-this
quarrel between the Associated Press and
its rival. We've received the news, and
that's enough. She died 26S years ago the
vital spark had fled, and then she saw 1t
was Of no use resisting the inscrutable de-
crees of fate, and SO her unfettered soul
took its fight into the mysterious void, and
| settled down in that bourne from which no
traveller returns unless he has mission to
Jerk chairs around and rap on tables for the
benefit of mediums and other long-haircd,
widowed lunatics. "
Queen Elizabeth was a virginia vergin'
on seventy; and yet the fire cleaned as
brightly AS ever in her cream-colored eye,
and the delicate sheen Of her tinely-tinted
maroon nose contrasted as forcibly as IN her
youth with the alabaster Of her brow; and
the plugs in her teeth were just as valuable
as when gold was at LOO. -..-.-...--
She died without ever having read the
SUNDAY Dispdtch, and without making the
acquaintance of John Quill. The physicians
attributed her untimely end to this in
great measure; and upon reflection it does
seem somewhat rough OH her. But 1t
couldn't be helped. AL the htiman race
cannot bo equally blessed. Alexander the
Great met the same unhappy fate. 80,
But, still, she had no small vice. She did
not smoke or chew or belong to the society
for the promotion Of cruelty to animals;
And when she swOre, she never descendea
to the yulgarity of Horace Greeley-tueen
Elizabeth didn't, When she USED profanity
she gave it with finish, an elegance, dell
cafe airy trace. and infused into 1t certain
mxIrio1ls abandon, and rounded it on care
fully at fine corners, and dressed 1t up with
weil-selccted poetical adjectivcs, so that it
sounded like strain from some sweet
sinner~like some sweet singer straining
herself, in fact. And she had red hair.
Her cticnon was burglar-pr0of. And of.
fen in the dim twilight Of evening, when the
s1,n had sunk to rest, when the western sky
was filled with tender radiance and lambent
light, and the bulbul wooed the rose 1n the
back yard, she would sit down and play
few notes upon her harpslchord, or write a
Latin hymn or all essay on the Harrison
boiler. She was supposed to be the author
Of Crock me to, Sleep, Mother" and
WBeautirul Snow" and !" Five O'Clock in
| the Morning." But nevertheless she was a
| very estimable woman, and with all her
| faults we love her stil-better, indeed, still
/ than il she was fooling around.
| Queen Elizabeth was not proud. She nj
| ways insisted upon cleaning her own teeth
| even if she was queen; and she always
| did it once week, every Sunday morning
with her own toothbrush. What lesson
| does this teach to those who are vain and
naughty and belong to the bon-ton She
! never forgot that she was mere perishable
dust, and that the sheep and the silk worm
wore her fine clothes long before she goi
them. She read every Sunday-School book
| that taught these facts and she once trod
| on Sir Walter RaleigRs cloak to remind
| him of them, because he was so set up will
/ his fancy cassimeres. She said upon hel
death-bed that Lydia Thompson need not
learn this lesson, because it had no moral
| for those who browsed around in natures
simple garb. ....,
She foresaw that George Francis Train was
sicianS that she would prefer the enduring
/ peace OF the cold and silent grave to three
weeks of George and the Alabama claims
| controversy and the Schleswig.H olstein
| question all at the same time.
| Her last words were, "kill Horace
| Greeley before he has chance to write
tfWhat Know About Farming" There
was not dry eye in that gecond-story front
ROOM, Everybody was thinking how in-
possible it was to carry out her dying re-
quest and to escape 80 much misery.
But sne mas gone now; she mas lett us
! we shall see her no more. Perhaps it is for
the best. She was vigorous woman !; and
| if she had lived she might have come to
America, and lived in Philadelphia, and we
| might have given her offence, and she might
have pranced around here and flogged us
like the very nation. For she was a woman
who followed closely in all the prevailing
fashions. And SO we are glad she is dead,
and has four tons of marble planted on her
| grave to hold her down. Best in peace, old
girl |, Rest In pieces3 sa