The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-06-26

W.T. AND W1sD0,r.

M OAOOAVAy-E h1ulO0 DI8C06.
A Bad Debt-The owing Of . grudge.
h Harmless Pugilism- Striking attitudes.
a Tale Of Thrilling Interest The rattl,
Why are pin and poker like bin
eyes. :
Why should chimney sweep be goo
whist playerf Because he is always follow
ing SCOT. -o--"
A dishonest bankrupt and an honest on
nave this resemblance-they both-fa {
make money h
"a man in this city has got SO deep in deb
tnac not one of his creditors have been abb
to see him for months.
u A New Zealand chief maintained that h
mad good title to his land, because he Ina,
eaten the former owner.
FL Bald headed men take joke easily. be
cause they are not at the trouble of gettin,
1t 'through their hair"
Il an engine whistle could speak to til.
engine driver, what would It sayf "Don,
touch me OF I'll scream"
ShallI paint your cheeks for you, wife 2
NO, husband, you have done it otter
enough, BY making me blush for YOU"
1t II the man who determines the dignity
OF the occupation, not the occupation
which measures the dignity of the man.
Why is q clock . most modest piece of
furniture Because it covers it's face with
It's hands, and runs down its own works.
Woman-There is a purple half to the
grape, q mellow half to the peach, sunny
half to the world, and better half to man.
\ Greatness stands upon a precipice, and i'll
prosperity carries man never SO little be- j
yond his poise, it overbears and dashes him
- pieces.
words should be seconded by action i'll
Int enough for a housewife to saw to n
hooking with hole in it, "You bel
arnedW
s"Am Lnot little pale 2" inquired a lady.
mo was short and corpulent, Of bachelor
you look more like a big tub" was the
annt reply.
How easy and pleasant it is to assign
motives for the conduct of our neiphbors
8Aen we gather them unconsciously from
&uf own hearts.
Il Shall / have your hand 2" said an ex-
Duisite to q belle, as the dance was about
commence. With all my heart" was
e soft response.
"a negro being caught at night in hem
koost, excused himself by saying that he
sonly came dere to see if de chickens sleep
Fith der eyes OPEN"
Let no one count the number of his
friends till they have been bolted in the
huch bran in prosperous friendship.
A tradesman having sunk his shop
4ouple of feet, announces that, in conse-
1nence of recent improvements, goods will
IA sold considerably lower than formerly"
sSR0usseau used to say, that to write
I'D love letter you ought to begin with
84& knowing what you mean to say, and
eeh without knowing what you have said.
Bones" said wag to a milkman, "you
ht to roof them cows Of yours" .'What
ID from running into the milk" replied
- wag.
III Yankee writer, dwelling upon the i'm
Gftance of small things, says that he " al -
1sys takes notice of q straw, especially if 2
&bre happens to be sherry cobbler at the =
"a of it,"
On certain occasion of an eclipse in
Ifrginia, o colored individual became high. |,
elated. "Bress de Lord! the nigger's !,
{ne hab come at last, and now we'se goin' ;.
hab a brack sum-" IN.
/" don't care SO much about the bugs"
bid Mr. Wormley to the head of a genteel n
kivate boarding-house, "but the fact is, ID
adam, haven't got much blood to spare; 3a
pu see that yourself" 70
IA young lady, who was rebuked by her. y,
other for kissing her intended, justified h,
b act by quoting the passage, " Whatso-
Ter We would that men should do to you E;
We even SO to them" & =
IS If you'll believe me, haven't taken ah4ti,
op of fermented liquor for year." said AMI,
an of questionable veracity. That de- Em
nds," said the other, whether one be- &go
yves your lips or your nose" %no
Quite a laugh was raised in one of theEwl
urts by an official, who, when the chair ygfrt
IN called out for the crier to open the ASa
urt, said, May it please your honor, the lt
er can't cry to-day, because his wife is 100
ADJ mo
young fellow eating some Cheshire n n
aese, full of shippers, at a tavern one ~,
ybt, exclaimed, "NOw 1 have done as e'.
lch as Samson, for have slain nv thou 't
Ids and tens of thousands" "Yes,n re. WI
,sed another, "and with the .jawbone of
ass" we
shoemaker received a note from a lady nu
nesting him to make her a new pair oil jic
les, and not knowing the exact STYLE sheE my
uired, he dispatched a written missive mi
her, asking whether she would like them III
be Wround or Squire Toad 81 The "V
y, indignant at this rash specimen oil lit
biography, replied "Kneether." sal
for government Office in Eng iyo o,
d are examined upon various literary To-
scientific topics. Lately one of them, oee
q slip of the pen, wrote "Vsnnice" in S an
of his papers. "Do you know, SIR
there is but one hen in Venice 2" asked w
indignant examiner. "Then eggs must .lis
very scarce. there" was the reply. s t;.
ather unexpected was the reply of the
hin. who on heipn arraiOnod lf.,r rr7