The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-03-10

containing OplaleS, anu thousands OF OlQer
invalids are suffering the consequences of
drugged infancy. Self-indulgent parents
or unprincipled nurses may quiet fretful
children with plain paregoric or disguised
carminatiyes and soothing syrups, but the
desired end is purchased at fearful risk
The World suggests that it would be well
if the compounders of all "patent medi-
cines," whether intended for children or
for grown people, were forced by law to
print upon the label of every box or bottle
of their wares the names and proportions
of the different ingredients in order that
the purchaser might judge for himself, or
ascertain from the proper authority,
whether they were devoid of danger.
Amusing Blunders of the Telegraph.
THE annals of the telegraph would, il
carefully searched, furnish a list of errors
as long and certainly amusing as those
attributed to the press. We offer few
examples of the mistakes occasionally
made by the lightning when it under
takes to act as postman, or rather by those
whose duty it is to mail the letters.
A gentleman residing in New York,
who was shortly to be married, had en-
gagged Protestant Episcopal bishop OF
one of the Western States to perform the
ceremony Some weeks before the period
originally fixed for the wedding the father
of the lady was taken suddenly and dan
gerously i'll, and expressed wish that his
daughter should be married as speedily as
possible for fear that he should not live to
witness her nuptals The bridegroom
expectant accordingly telegraphed to his
friend the bishop respecting the change
of date, but as he wrote a very illegible
hand, the astoniShment of the right rever-
end gentleman may be imagined on re-
ceiving the following dispatch: 81 SIN to
be tried on Thursday. Can you come and
proffer your testimony" The message
really sent was: al am to be married on
Thursday Can you come on and per-
form the ceremOny?"
The next instance we shall give was
rather more annoying in its results. A
Philadelphian, being on visit to New
York, and wishing to gladden. the hearts
of two of the New York bellies by offer
ing to them some of the unrivalled pro
duction of our Philadelphia greenhouses,
telegraphed to one of the leading florists
for two hand bouquets. This message was
transformed into two hund. bouquets
and we can picture the gentleman
dismay when he received box con
tanning one hundred and eighty
superb bouquets, accompanied by
letter from the florist, informing hin
that the remaining twenty should be for
warded as soon as the necessary flowers
could be procured, the resources of his
greenhouse having proved inadequate tC
furnish the number required. Naturally
the gentleman refused to pay for the one
hundred and ninety eight bouquets which
he had neither ordered nor wanted. The
florist sued him, lost the suit, and then
commenced proceedings against the tcle
graph company with better fortune, this
second suit being decided in his favor.
A story is told of young gensleman
residing in one of our large cities, who
was a member of small social club. His
most particular and intimate friend among
the members thereof was youth who
had gained for himself the sobriquet Q!
"Sarah's Young Man." from his devotion
to that once popular air, which in some
form or other-either sung, whistled OF
hummed-was seldom absent from his
lips. To this club our hero, whom We
will chrsten Mr. X, one day found
himself called upon to announce his ap
preaching marriage, and his consequent
withdrawal from their circle. After the
usual congratulations had been rendered
and accepted, and the usual lamentation:
uttered, the members decided upon ten
dering to their matrimOnially disposed
and seeding comrade a farewell dinner
to take place as early as possible after the
termination of the wedding-tOur. The
marriage took place, and Mr.. and Mrs
" started on their bridal journey
which terminated in that usual destina
ton of newIy-married couples-Niagar;
| Falls. Mrs. X was the mos
affectionate and charming of brides
and her husband was, OF course
the happiest of men. The period o
their stay at the Falls was nearly ended
when one day Mr.. X, on returning t
his room after short absence, was as
tonished to find his wife in state il
which Indignation and mysteries wer
struggling for the mastery. She assaile'
him with torrent of reproaches. He wa
a wretch-a villain; she was a miserable
ill-used, wretched woman. She woul'
leave him; she would go home to he
mother! And here Mysteries got the up
per hand, and she burst into passion
tears. "Wha. is the matter?" the amaze
husband at last found breath to calculate
"Read, slr-readl" sObbed the poor littl
bride pushing toward him an open yelloN
envelope "I thought there might be ba
news from home, and l opened it; and
OH -oh-oh-" Here she broke dow
again, and Mr.. " unfolded the I'M
portant document which had produce
such startling effects, in a state of utter bt
wilderment. 1t was telegram, and 1t ra
as follows:
"Our spree is fixed for the Goth. Don
forget. We will have glorious time.
"Yours ever, SARAH s. YoUNGMAN."
"There, sir |" cried Mrs. ". Ho'
can YOU ever dare to look me in the FAC
again? Who is this Sarah Youngman
and what do you mean by promising
go on a spree with her? and you just ma
ried too! You are a wicked" Here
shout of laughter from Mr.. " inte
rupted the flow of his wife's eloquenc
He had been staring blankly at the dl
patch, and suddenly the whole alta
flashed across his mind. The telegra
was i'm reference to the promised Dime
his facetious friend had been entruste
with the forwarding of ii, and he hs
signed the dispatch Sarah's \ Ioung Maj
"a signature which the telegraph Oper
tors had seen fit, Intentionally or othe
wise to alter to Sarah s. Youngman.
soon as his irrepressible laughter aou
allow him to speak, he explained the mi
take to his wondering and indignant viii
who, however, being sensible little w
man, was speedily appeased, joined in Il
laugh, and day numbers Sarah 5. Youn
; man among her most warmly welcome
visitors .-Lippincott's Magazine
TIE Muncie, Ind, Times has this to s.
of "lemale fiend in that county:
her cruelty she literally drove two of b
daughters from her To seek home amor
strangers. She beat and bruised them u
= til they were forced to fly from her pre-
encc. The last thing she did to them W
to take as many pins as she could In o.
| hand and rake up and down their arr
with the points, She also took the orph
3 enid, living with her, and put it in p