Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-05-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

FLowERs that are always falling Off
Bachelors buttons.
IL a man blows his own trumpet, can
his opinions be sound
PREMIUMS received in cash, and policies
paid in cash, by the Washington Life.
A STITCH in Time may save nine-but
he never seems to be entirely sewn up.
THE Siamese twins must have one con.
solation-they cannot sue each other.
To CURE DEAFNEss-Tell a man you've
come to pay him money. 1t beats acoustic
oil all hollow.
It's almost enough to make man lose
his head altogether when he has only
half a crown left
WHAT costume ought to remind lady
of her washer-woman9 Why, her lawn
dress, to be sure?
In the height of prosperity expect ad-
versity, and fortify yourself against its
evils by policy on your life in the Wash
| ington Life.
THE last case of Incidence is that of a
man named John Hole, who was so lazy
that, in writing his name, he simply used
the letter a." and then punched a hole
through the paper.
ANNA DICKINSON says that "there is no
work man can do but that will be better
done by having a woman at his side"
How about currying kicking mule asks
a contemporary.
a LoQUACIoUs author, after chattering
some time about his piece to Sheridan
said, "Sir, fear have been intruding
on your attention" Not at all, assure
you" replied Sheridan, 81 was thinking
of something else"
"SlRE, one word," said soldier one
day to Frederick the Great, when pre-
senting to him request for the brevet o.
lieutenant. II you say two" answered
the king, al will have you hanged.
"Sign," cried the soldier. The king Stared
whistled, and signed.
A WESTERN Coroner's jury returned
verdict that the deceased came to hi
death from exposure "What do yol
mean by thatg' asked relative of tn
dead man, "there are two bullet-holes il
his skull" The Coroner replied, with
waive of the haud," Just so he died from
exposure to bullets"
The way in which the South Sea L
lander satisfied case Of conscience, i
this: The missionary had rebuked hir
for the sin of pOlygamy, and he was YER
much grieved After day or two he re
turned, his face radiant with joy. ~
all right now-one wife; me very goo
Christian" What did you do with III
! other?' asked the missionary. "He ca
her up"
A SAN FRANCISCO school teacher RI
t ceived the following: al hope as 20 m
John, you will fog him just as of1n a
7 you kin. Heas bad boy-is John. A
: tho I've bin in the habit of teachin hiI
< myself, it seems to me he niver will lar
anithing-his spelin is ottragously d.
d fishent. Wallop him well, ser, and yo
: will receiv my thanks P s. What a.
B., counts for John bein sich scholar is ths
y he is my sun by my wife's fust husband
AN amusing story is told of hackmal
= at Newport, r. Ia jealous Methods
: by the way-who last year donned th
: Quaker at and broadbrim, and meetin
y the drab-colored visitors at the depo
= = meekly asked, Will thee have carIia ge
. Glad 10 patronize brother, as he expec
: ed, they filed up his vehicle immediatel,
! when, to the amusement of the bystant
), ers, he drawled out, Where's hOu's ba,
gaee" 1t is needless to say that I'll
= trick was seen through by the occupant
=. who left him in disgust and the funnie
7 part of it is that to this day he can't in
7 agine how they found him out.