The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-06-24

early returns. She does not suspect
that am not there once in a week.
I don't know whether quite con-
Vinced Bessie of Jones' immaculate
Character or not. But if she does think
that she has secured a man not only
entirely superior to her reckless and
eXtraYagant brother, but to the human
race in general, think a revelation
awaits her. If she can appreciate cap
ital fun, and has a manly comprehen-
sion of an excellent joke, she will be
amused for twelve-mOnth; and have,
besides, as good a rod for her dear hus-
band as she used to swing over her dear
brother.
Ihave actually obtained "wifey's "
permission to take " hubby" out for an
evening, and without her, too-the
pair of fond noodles And he, without
fear of consequences, has agreed to go
We fellows are to have a right royal
OId-fashiOned game and oyster supper.
If l don't return my gentleman to Bes-
sizes affectiOnate caresses ripe as a quail
in good order, and mellow as the vim
tage of 40, have missed my calcula-
ton. It is quite time that the present
state of things was brought to a crisis.
IT have this paragon Of my own
alton paraded before me any longer,
as Tebuke to my own delinquencies.
III.-FROM THE BRIDES sTANDPOINF T..
My husband and my brother are a
couple Of-well 1 won't call names
They share the usual male delusion
that women see nOthiq8 and know no.
thing; and that meI being lords of
creation, move in 81 pre- so exalted
that our poor optics cannot reach. And
our dull perceptions cannot understand
them. They imagine that we do not
know that patchouly, and all that sort
of thing, is not the balmy breath of the
male of the human species. They
think that we do not understand that
these things are taken. to disguise the
flavor of LS4nchburg, they fal6y that
we 90 not know thai she Lynchburg
lars the pound; and that the meer-
schaum in which it is burned rates
from five to fifty. They suppose that
we are not aware that cigars, at current
rates, cost from ten to twenty-five dol
lars the hundred; aud that we are so
ignorant of decimals as not to know
the frightful ratio in which the sum to-
tai increases when the combustion Of
the weed ascends into the thousands.
They talk base ball to US as if it were
as innocent and profitable an exercise
as WOOd-sawing or ditching. They pa
Tade the small cost Of bat and ball and
ferOciOuS shirt, as if the incidentals of
base ball would not more than cover
a decent 4 Hily's expenses. They are
suddenly alled TO distant cities on bu-
siness; and they think that we d. not
observe that, simultaneously with these
engagements, ma-Ahes" " come Off
| cannot tell half the pranks that 1
have detected these two gentlem in.
They do not amount to much, 10 be
sure. If they did, I should not, at the
present writing, be Mrs. William Jones.
l know the two men like q book, and
l think I can take care of one of them.
AS to my brother, his wife will look
out for him when he gets one. aud It
will not be very long, 1 think, ere
that haepens. l have broken 54
firm of Damon and Pythias, e
retiring rtner will not be s.
by and sr male.-I see So
coming, but am ready. HeighS
don't know which is the moro
to mango, q brother or a Iusb
- It has ha
know Brother Jack so we'll
sure, when he insisted On..I
him an "Old-fashiOned~even
out the delight but inconvenient aps
pendage of lad4ss," that he meant mis-
chief.
49, half-past two in the morning 1
ut latch-key rattle as if it h&s
Qg palsy, or as if the key-hOfe
6 bo-peep with the key. In
lemen stumbled, both with
ON; my brother somewhat
ttted, my Ausband-dreadfully ully-yes
drunk! TIN shortest word is the
most expressiv -
TaoE~ IovNOrifrl h.; ,4,>n,, n eOfa oDH
then turned to / with a face expect
ant, and q mosCS Voking Ieer. He
waited to hear sucffz ecture as I have
given him many a Ame. But l had
not words for this occasion. The truth
is I could not speak. I should have
broken down in tears.
The next silent terrible five minutes
seemed like five hours. Brother John
was alarmed, and, do believe, for the
first time in his life, ashamed. He
commenced to speak in his own plausi-
ble way of apology. Mr.. Jones rose
from the sofa, brushed the look of in
tOXicatiOn from his face and hair as il
It had been a cobWeb, and coming for
ward, said, in the steady accents of a
perfectly sober man:
Now, Smith, | think the joke is OH
nag side. Amt you ashamed of your
seIf?n
Well, Jones, you can drink deeper
and come out brighter"
"Beg your pardon but I neUer drink
deep, and you know it. I saw through
your trick, and let you think you had
played it. And now, Bessie, send this
bad boy, this brother of yours, to bed
for he is not fit to go home alone
Henceforth you and l shall understand
one anothern
81 always understood you," an.
sWered.
Dear me! Wasn't it lucky that
did not scold! Brother Jack would
have been too triumphant!