Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1870-04-04
TERRENCE MIGRANT.
81. Patrick's Day---Revel's Speech
Sorosis.
wAsHISoros, March seventeen. |
Il

L
Etbsr before get Up this morning, because
Know yez will be afiher hooking FOR Il, aud tnln
arn III fE the diyil's own spray, such As
hsvu'i had fUr yare-thst Is, barring wan o.
tyv, I have been OF Wild NE cousin UsisSes, but
thin dont count Och. murder SAINT
Pathrick vas the by And that do yeE thinA
I .owli me cousin this morning that wanted
a Jay d. v-id the privilege Ofd0ing as Plazei,
IL hanor & St. Pathrick.
" And who in the diyl is Saint Patrick,
savs ne elusin. Fiat rilatiSe ID be, and
ia: Office Ices be WANT?
aOfice 2" saws /. "Divil the won. lie is
be,her man than neseli. or yourself, or ony
other fraud
towld ne cousin s great deal Of ST. Path
riek ard bin / alluded to bis banishing the
shaakes, me cousin said he wished the ginile-
man wss here TO thry bis hand on some that
were bo;hering him.
But Jst think Of the ignorance OF President
that niyer heerd Of 81. PathriCk. ! thought
/, would be good day to say s word TO me
cousin in the Interest Of the Fanian prisoners
in England. 50 I asked him if be wouldn't do
ne the favor 10 ask Duane Victoria TO relase
them he said that be bad thought Of that,
. y
he was here. but a. tina; young man remarked
that England would see Grant in hell first, he
thought perhaps the Prince was not in favor
Of relasing them so be wouldn't press the mat
ther. Ne cousin said be knew they were
Americans, bat they were Dimmecrats. he
said be should help Cuba before he did Ireland,
[ because while Irishmen had niver made him
ony presents a Cuban junta named Senior Ro-
nazesantiago Benroctis had given him more
than tin boxes Of banana cigars. Ye see, me
/ arguments don't amount e onything, unless
/ backed BY the reSponsibles.
We have been having hard time wild the
uager Sinator, Mishter Reyels, since me lasht
le;her. Il was found NECESSARY 10 give the
/ black diyil some instructions about voting. be-
cause he was list as liable 20 casht bis vote for
( one party as another. We thried for several
! days 10 made him vote RICH, by compelling
. him 20 watch Sumner. and vote as he did. As
/ the mayer can't reminder faces aud was as apt
/ % take Sumner for Dimecrat, we compelled
/ Sumner 70 wear rose in his buttoU-hOle, fhich
I the 1ager kept watch Of but Bl;hler, Just TO
I kape his hand il, shtOle the rose from Sumner
I for a ioke, and gave j, TO Mishter Cox, not
/ thinking Of the consequences, and begorra, the
mayer watched Mishter Cox, and film 81 i'm
/ PortaDt measure came up, ne voted the same
/ as Cox did. Cox "a Dimecrat. That won't
I DO you know.
I But tie greatheSt throuble We have had wild
I the mayer Silator was about a Spache. The
I Dimecrsts kept tAunting Us wild remarks about
our nagur. saying that be couldnt rade or write,
and couldn't make spache % save bis life
| So we were in duty bound 70 make them behave
I be could DO all these things fhether he could
/ or not. So We 20; acarpet-bagger thsfe named
/ Bullock. Governor Of Georgia, 70 write out
I spache for the mayer, and tie OWLS own baird
work We have had batting it Until his head
The spache was moighty short, aud We would
think ayen 4 monkey could eventually learn TO
repate 1t, but be the bOwy Saint Pathrick, we
have been every night for three wakes commit
ting that spache, 10 that nager's memory. AL
Us prominent men, such IS Buihler. Sumner,
Logan, and meSelf and me cousin UliSSes, have
been taking turns sitting up wild Rcvels, tach-
ing him that spache, Until We are tired out
But L s al, over now. Yesterday he GOT up
IN the Sinate aud REPEATED il. and did pretty
well, only he got it wrong ind first, but the re-
porthers fixed il all right He held up shate
% paper fJr4inst him, and made many paple
behave be was rading. Afther be got through
We al wint and shuck hands wild him, and he
felt ralayed. But | hope he is the lasht mayer
We viii have % tache
Fiat the diyi. IS i soreosis? Bridget and
me cousins wife came into the room Yesterday
there me cousin aud meself were arguing as to
the merits Of several different brands of fshky.
siut from Tennessee, Then they towld US thew
were gong % organize SoroSis in Washington
for the elevation Of women
Sore fiat sis?' saws |.
No you don't" say. me cousin They
are high enough already"
Dye mind the ignorance Of EN- ," SAYS
Bridget and they sailed out Of the room laugh
Inc, LAYING Us in Z ft Of melancholy. Ne
cousin was the first b break the silence
( Taking q hoist from the demi-iohn, he steadied
himself against plaster paris bust Of Lincoln
finch he busted himself, and says he:
l Terence, am convinced there il a conspir-
I scy among these women now that the divil is
q conspiracy, never saw Bridget have onel.
/ to take the reins of Government into their own
hands, and run things to suit themselves. and
although dislike 20 saw il. believe Bridget
is at the bottom Of it, Now depend upon
you 20 head II of and prevent It's consumna-
ton. This thing must be nipped in th. bud
What q soroSis Is, have not the means .: nv
disposal for ascer;aining, but that /: is som.
deep sud damning organization Of brave and
revolutionary spirits who will hesitate at no
skulduggery to accomplish their wicked and
unlawful purposes. is my firm and unchanged
ole belief Use all means in your power to
ferret out their designs, and will make an ex-
ample Of them"
As he concluded these remarks he sank Until
quie; slumber beysut the table. Now me
duty is plain, musht ind out that divilthry
these women are up TO, and tits trsyson NAV
the Lord have mercy ortil them.
All, Sorosis, is it. Ne darlinss, We be the be
aiSy. as ] am OF yer thrack
Ne cousin, in bis lucid intervals. is paving
aSsiduous attintioA 10 learning Frincb. or learn
Ing the Fnnch girl, divil the know DO finch.
think It must be ISier TO learn difficult Ian
EuaSe whln We put yer arm around the tacher.
At laist, ne cousin IS thryiug to learn Frincb
that way. We just heard that the Impress
Eugen!a was also going 70 Niagara Falls this !
summer, and me cousin saws he shall 90 there I
TOO, It he can get onybody 10 tache him tie I
Niagara Falls language.
But excuse me. The bys are marching bv. !
aud the band is PLAYING "St. Pathrick's Day !
m the Morning, aud me vacation commences
tbs blessed minute. Al Rsssyroir. as me con-
s s, says when be calls Onabody "good-by," in /
Yer broth Or q L.