The Tarboro' southerner., 1870-05-26
GEAN 4.

I've lost fesh,' as the butcher sad
when his cart was robbed.
TO enjoy good reputation" says
.5osh Billings, give publicly and steal
privately"
\ friend. the ether day, called a
thin young lady spare girl. There
are several spare girls in most large
unmarried families.
If lady were threatened to be k-ss-
ed by a gentleman, and she objected,
what place near the coast of France
might she name? "Ushant."
Huxband-'.I am surprised ny
dear that | have never seen you blush
Wife-The truth is, my dear, | was
born to blush unseen"
Marina. isn't Nr. What's-his name
a July boy? What curious question,
my son, why 90 you ask? Cause he's
gotta glass eye
After 4 welding, it was formerly a
custom to drink honey dissolved in
water twenty days, moons age
Hence origin Of honeymoon.
lam afraid, dear wife that while l
-, uev-z',eonra will conquer love
longer you stay and gar husband the
like you
While Dr.. Mary Walker was lectu-
ring lately youth cried out: Are
you the Mary that had little lamb
''No::' was the ready reply, but your
mother had q jlckass."'
The young man who was "lonely
since his mother died" is all right
now. His father married the head
Of a large party Of girls, andthey keep
house for him, and give party nearly
every night.
Josh Billings says the mosquito was
born Of poor but honest parents, who
had in their veins some Of the best blood
ia the country. 1t is well enough to
know this tact, as time for their annual
visit is rapidly approaching.
Bill Jones'" said bullying urchin
10 another lad, "next time [ catch you
alone III fog you like anything."
"Weil," called Bill, "ain't often much
aione-I commonly have my legs and
fists with me-"
a country editor says A farmer
IN his county made q scarecrow so very
frightful, that an old crow actually
went aud brought back, all the corn
he had stole during several days and
left it Ia the field.
a young man living out West is
humility pcrsonifed The other day
he asked d young lady if he might be
allowed the privilege Of going home
with her, and he vas refused, where
upon he inquired, very humbly, if he
might be "alowed to sit On the fence
and see her 90 BY
An Old lady, receiving a letter she
supposed was from one of her absent
sons, requested her neighbor to read
1t. He accordingly began to read
Dear mother"-then paused, as the
writing was rather in illegible. "It's
from JOHNNY exclaimed the old lady,
she always suffered"
A Dutchman, in describing pair
Of horses he had lost, said : "Dev was
"ery much alike, specially de off one.
Ooc looht so much alike poth could
not tell t'other from which; when |
went after one, always caught de oder;
and | whipped de one most dead be-
cause de oder kicked at me-"
In the absence of any other messen-
ger, a colonel s-nt word to the band,
by the surgeon, that some music was
wanted. "Can't blow a note" said
the drum-major, "for we haven't had
anything to cat yet" ''No excuse at
al" said the doctor; elbow away.
there's always plenty Of wind in an
empty stomach"
Not many days since a young lady
from the country went into a store not
thousand miles from Boston and
asked the clerk if he wished to pur-
chase couple Of chickens, at the same
time throwing pair of live ones on
the counter why yes,' he re-
piled; but will they lay there" mean
ing would they remain on the counter
ii5r few moments.
Lay there = archly retorted the
rustic beauty
80, sir "a they wont lay now here :;
.-2@ : ROSTERS