Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-09-01
Wit and Huunor.


DAMAGED garments Libel suits.
FIT of passion-Getting married.
HE active forces-beer and wine.
SMART thing-A mustard plaster.
A STRONG defense-limburg cheese.
HE hostile forces-b1lls and bones.
The natural forces common sense.
The children's kingdom-Lapland.
HE last thing out-the gas.-Judy.
A BAND of hope-The wedding ring.
An offensive move--the sheriff's sale.
An exposed fank-the butchers sign.
AN orderly retreat-a boarding house.
A LIGHT employment-Ca -Candle-making.
BURNING words-A dictionary in flames.
A FRUITFUL disappointment grapes
McMAHoNs fault-an emperor's wand
The non-combatants-hos rangers
STUNNING charge-the hackmsn's fare.
NAroLEoN's latest grief the loss of Nan.
cy.
The Frenchmen's gain-the emperor's
hopes.
Sail"
How to rise in the world-Ascend in \
balloon.
CLAP blister sn poet and it will make
him soar.
1HE French mems last defense-the
| (muse) Neusa
MAN who drinks drams seldom has
many scruples.
A TALLow. CHANDLER is mnch given to
wicked works.
IT is SO hot at Norfolk that rag-dons
perspire fretly.
CURIOUS The seasons not only alternate.
but alter-nater.
HE Russian exhibition to our taste-A
Diner q Ia Rasse.
How to increase the population Fee
the census-taker.
WHEN patient begins to feed more, the
doctor Is feed less.
ONE entire Prussian corps scuds under
bare Poles TO the field.
The instrument that pricks the soul Of
empire the needle gun.
The favorite romance of of,ce-seekers-
"Put yourself in his place."
DRESS for the concert-room- -Orpandi
muslin with huted founces.
AMATcHLnss melody-"Here you are sir
the last two boxes for q penny"
DURING peace regiment is quartered:
during war war time it is occasionally cut
to pieces.
TKE iron has entered my soul-as tie
fellow said who found nail in the bottom
of his boot
AT the ''theatre Of war" It is always the
relatives and friends of the actors who sit
in tiers.-N. o. Times.
AN Irish editor, speaking of the miseries
OF Ireland, says "Her cup of misery has
been for ages overfowing, and is not yet
full"
A HARTFORD paper announces that there
Is porter In one of the hotels III that city
who can read "Holmes's Had in the
Greek"
The French army may be said TO be on
an army of fel lows; for ''Woerth makes
he man and wa Mt of it the fellow. ."-Hart-
ord Co,uant.
HE German forces are considered much
the strongest, as their rations consist
principally of Limburger cheese and
Bologna sausage.
The Vermont Watchman says that the |
telegraph has raised lying to the dignity of
an art, and invested it with the attribute |
of ininity.
An old lady read about the strike of the
wire drawers in Worcester, Mass, and said |
that of all new-fangled things wire draw
ers must be the queerest
TEXAS claims watermelon SO large that |
q coroner's jury sat inside of it to decide on |
the melancholy fate of a citizen who was |
fond of that kind of fruit
WHEN death occurs from natural causes
in Tennessee, it is customary to append to |
the newspaper notice the words-"Politics |
had no agency in the difficulty"
THERE is an intelligent dog ct Mud Pine,
Ind, that whenever company comes to the |
house proceeds at once to catch chicken,
thing he will not do at any other time.
IT Is said that ladies who believe in the
internal use of arsenic as a beauti6er of
the complexion, obtain prescriptions from
their family physicians for Fowler's solu-
ton OF arsenic, and so conceal the real OBJ
jsct of taking the poison.
YoUNa GENTIEMAN-AhiM Miss Cayendlsh
do you know they've had a juvenile party
before the ball Miss G. Oh, then sup
pose your mamma Is letting you stop q lit
tie later this evening.
The New Haven Register says: ssWhat
we know about gardening" will be interest.
ing. The senior has picked, this sea-
son, :hree cucumbers, two caulifiowers,
seven years of corn and four tomatoes,
which cost him s4. 4S EACH"
A New JERSEY widow, finding her charms
fading, applied ''magic balm" a few
nights ago~and woke next morning to find
her hair ell fallen of, and blotches as large
as ginger cookies all over her face. She /
wants to interview the balm man.
In q recent number of the Christian
Union, Mrs. Henry Ward Beecher writes in
favor OF ''putting clothes to soak" on Sun
day night as an innocent recreation not at
all inconsistent with the sacredness OF the
day.
TIE vessel in which DIR. Kane made his
famous voyage to the North Pole now lies
at Bowen's wharf. Newport. She is owned
by Captain Hopkins, of that CITY, her
name having been changed to the United
States.
The first baby in the town of New Chi
cago, Neosho county, Kansas, was born on
June "a, 1870. He is son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Vosart. 4 deed for corner lot was
Immediately executed and delivered to the
youngster. II
PEOPLE in London are beginning to agi-
tate for the erection of houses in fats.
This has already been done on a palatial
scale at Westminster, and in a less magni-
ficent proportion in the Peabody and Wa
terloo erections. Ia
A FIFTH AVENUE Hotel waiter was dis
charged on Friday and vented his spite
by advertising IN Saturdays New York pa
pers for 800 Irishmen to go to France; ap-
plicsfion to be made at Room eS, Fifth ,
Avenue Hotel Result, the halls and cor
ridors of the hotel were filed, by ten
o'clock, with hundreds of Hiberians,
crowding the guests and visitors of the
house, that there was a necessity of clearing
the intruders out; and it was not until ,
they were put out that the proprietors ,
knew to what circumstance they were in
depted for such visitation.
A MAIDEN at Lansingbarg. N. Y, having /,
been afflicted with the addresses of two Low. II
n 4