The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-03-04
DAVID BXB YS REL.
ICT.
How She Entertained a Detective.
BY LIZZIE A. S. CHESTER.

BN LIZZIE A. ). CHESTER.
Mrs. Abigail Bixby was widow
lady, the number of years of her life
fixed at an indefinite period between
forty and sixty; and since the sad
morning when the turf had closed
finally over BiXby, she felt that all
mankind were banded together in
seeking her temporal ruin, and that
she was the pre-Ordained prey of all
the sharks of humanity, and more
over looked upon pretty much all hu-
manity as of the shark species. She
owned a house and garden spot, past
urage for a COW, a bit of moving, and
some live stock; and every morning
she looked out of her bedroom win
dow, before she took her night-cap off,
to see If these sharks hadn't gobbled
up some part of her property. She felt
that any poor unwashed who had a
hungry family might lead off her COW
or cOsset sheep; thieves might make
off with her poultry; or rude boys be
caught in her apple trees the neigh
bor's cattle might break into her corn
field; or their pigs rOOtup her garden;
for she was poor widow and every
body took advantage of her.
The milkman gave her short meas
ure and diluted her milk beyond that
of all her neighbOrs. Didn't she know
good milk ? In self-defense she bought
her COW, or rather she asked the dea-
con of her church, in whom of all men
she could place confidence, to buy one
for her. The deacon was cheated, and
the deacon cheated her. She bought
a new stove and ordered it sent home.
The drayman charged fifty cents for
bringing it. That was an abOmina-
ton! She bought some coal, and the
depraved dealer sent her a poorer
quality. She presumed he thought
she would never know the difference
The man who made her garden charg-
ed her quarter of dollar a day more
than he charged any one else, and so
through the whole round-the butch
er, baker, and the candlestick-maker
were leagGed against her; for she was
q poor widow and every one took ad-
vantage of her.
If she hadn't found solace for the
trials of life in her teapot, she would
have nightly bedewed her pillow with
tears in vain longing for the prOtec-
ton of the lost BiXby dear.
Now if any one who has raed thus
far does not feel sympathy for the
relict, they needn't read any farther.
1 wish they would, though. Provided
they do, their attention is respectfully
solicited for a moment to the follow
ing o 1servatiOns, not directly allied to
the subject, but made during long
and close Acquaintance with Mrs.
BiXbyis case, and similar ones =
Observation first-WOmen who
have laid their hopes and affections
beneath the sod forever, when seeing
no prospect of being invited to resur.
rect them, have very acute sense OF
the desperate wickednesS of their fei,
! lOw-creatures.
Observation secOnd-The confiding
innocence and sweet truthfulness Ot
old maid-ism get such q terrible shak-
ing up in the devious by-ways and
crossroads of cOnjugal life, that the
phantasmal hand in the widows fu.
ture, having ceased to beckon, crooks
its fingers into horrid grasping forms,
ready to seize anything the widow
possesses save the widow herself
Observation third-For a real out
and out, good, broad English disserta.
tiOn on the woes and wickedneSs OF
the world, and an almost supernatural
insight into the deep depravity and
utter selfishness of the human heart
one may be referred TO any widow
provided she hasn't laid away the
dear departed's best suit i'm "Perry's
Moth Preventive" preparatory tC
locking arms with his successor.
Query suggested TO the uninitiateC
by the above observation What il
il, inherent in the matrimonial state
that has given such dark views of TIN
disinterestedness and virtue of thl