The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-07-29

Ahigh destiny-hansins.
.pr,uning men will catch at straxs" SO
viii drinking men.
Tho man who tore his coat thinks rents are
increasing.
The most exclusive circle-rbe Arctic Circle.
which no one has ever succeeded In ss'uns
into.
A sentimental youth says he prefers hanging
on the neck to hanging by the neck Dat 'ha'
both are dangerous
Tn the Sioux country you can buy good moe
casips Cor cosb-poppAsspta, and better article
for mur.ez-skAr-tonka-uh more eVud be
askelf All ~ .M ..ust
A New York medium, with view to iniuc-
ing editors 20 commit suicide, imparts the in
iOrm,tion that newspapers flourish In the spirit
world.
The gentleman who desired small Watering
place for the hot months has been offered
the position Of driver Of one Of our sprinkling-
carts 49, -. e.. rraH
A little girl IN school being asked what .
cstsract or waterfall was, replied that II
Was hair flowing over something, she didn't
know what.
One Of the sable orators Of old Virginia made
q good point when he said, Ode oyster got mo-
sense dan some folks. cause he know when to
keep his mouf shet."
A lady Of Bengal has struck . new path for
woman's industry by taking TO highway rob
berry. Foot padding Is something new for the
SCI. however naturally IL may adopt padding In
other localities.
The Danbury News Is responsible for this
unique pun Sunday being balmy day, the
styles we've brought out The most richly
dressed lady We saw Is the wife Of man who
has owed this Office thirte en- dollars for nearly
three years. He says he cannot raise the money,
and we believe him.
Albany girls are dangerous things. One re
Gently asked an attentive beau when he intend
ed to marry her, and rs he ha'lnt the slightest
lie, really On the subject, she broke teapot
full of hot water over his head; but, strange as
II may seem. he didn't want to marry her after
that.
There was an old lady who lived at Ports
mouth. ". H., and who had the misfortune to
be hard OF bearing. Last Fourth Of July she
sat in her parior while the boys Of the Navy
Yard fired salute Of thirty-six heavy guns.
As the last sixty-eght FOUNDER went Of the old
lady started up in her chair and called out
"Come In"
In village in Southern Missouri, few days
ago. nice young man put sheet around him
to scare Dutchman. The Teutonic gentleman
says, 81 just jump of my wagon, and yip der
ghost all the time. would vip him II be was
III. Al n
young man what allied his black eye, and he
said be had received bad news from Germany.
Senator Banks, Of Albany, n. Y, was recent
ly made the victim Of practical joke. duringa
visit TO the State Prison Mt Clinton. While pass
ing through the BARRIERS shop he expressed a
desire TO have his hair cut. Tho barber. . col
cred criminal Of "two years standing pre-
tended that he thought the luckless Senator Wa
Q new inmate, and turned him out with the
usual crop Of the jail bird.
A pious old negro woman was once caught by
her master stealing goose, and next Sunday
she partook Of the sacrament, after which her
master accused her rs follows; "why, Hannah,
saw you to-day At the communion table -
"Yes, tank de Lord. masss, 1 was lowed be
dere wild de rest Of His family" "But, Han
nah, I was surprised 10 zee you there, 'be said |;
"Iiow about the gooser" She looked up . little
surprised.as II she didn't comprehend the cause
Of his wonder. but soon catching the meaning.
exclaimed, .wby, sar. do you think Use goin
to let an old goose stand between me and my
Makerl'
Blessed are they that are blind; for they shall
see no ghosts.
Blessed are they that are deaf; for they never
lend money, nor listen TO tedious stories.
Blessed are they that are afraid Of thunder
for they shall hesitate to get married, and keep
away from political meetings.
Blessed are they that are lean for there Is
chance to grow fat.
Blessed are they that are ignorant for they
are happy in thinking that they know every
thing.
Blessed are they that expect nothing; for
they shall not be disappointed.
Blessed are they that do not advertise for
they shall rarely be troubled with customers.