The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-09-15

others frantically siezc the side breadth
holding them in front, having the al
pearance ola desperate determination
sitting down the first conve nient opol
tunity. Some walk on letting thei
dress hang till suddenly brought up o
the font breadth, stumble, founder
pull up and try 1t again. Now all this
could be avoided. Modesty and respec
for the opinions of mankind demand
reformation In this matter. We hav
only given fair weather view of thi
matter. If ladies would put a quartcl
OF yard less in the length of thei
/ dresses, they would save the amoun,
the goods cost and much public obvcrva
! tom
The Nashville Tenn Banner thus
relates how All old lady in that city took
time by the forelock: a lady residing in
the Eleventh District, generally known
as Old Mrs. W., having heard of the
Franco German war, buried every valua
Ole thing she had, day or two since.
when asked why she did so, she replied
that, in the days of the revolution, her
father said that the British would not
come, but they did, and impoverishe ed
hlni; and that then, when the people
said the Yankees would not come, they
did, and gobblcd everything she had;
and that she intended to get ahead of the
soldiers this time
The Catholic Bishops ofGermany re-
fuse to accept the dogma of the Popes
infallibility. "A dispatch dated "Fulda,
September ~ says: "The conference
OF Bishops has closed, and they Will
reassemble on notice of Bishop Hefele,
or the bishop of Rottcnburg. 1t was
unanimously resolved never to submit
to the action of the Ecunenical Council
on the infallibility question. The fac
ulty at Tubengin, Wurtembcrg, are in
accord. At II meeting Of the profess
ors af Nurnbcrg, it was resolved to pro-
test formally against the doctrine of
absolute spiritual power and papal in.
'SorIArED WITH SHEErs. 80 ma,
see Bill smith going up the street.
Don he look just like rowdy ~
"Ics, my son. That is because he
associates with them. Every boy will
tn 10
with.r
.UIiuny LOOKS lnougntluI, ana mama
thinks she has made quite an impress
sion.
y few days after, papa says to mama,
'Ihere goes Joe Williams, looking ut
the ground, as usual. | wonder what
makes him always have such sheep
sh look ?'
II knows,' shouted Johnny from the
"it's because he associated with
sleeps when he was little boy. Ma
says so.n
x sick man was once told that nothing
would save him but a quart of catnip
tea. "Then | must die,' said he, "for
can't hold bat pint
"A dying lrishman was asked by his
confessor if he was ready to renounce the
devil and all his works.
90, your honor, says Pat, "don't ask
me that; I'm going to a strange country
and ] don't want to make myself enc
mics.
4 lady had a sunday school class in
one of our churches. Two brothers
attended it alternately. One Sunday
The lady asked one of the boys if he
would be there on the following Sab
bath.
ooh! no, I can't, it's my turn to saw
wood"
A BELIEVING HUSBAND. During the
rial of Il case in Louisville last week, a
witness persisted in telling what his
wife told him. OF course this was ob.
ected TO by the attorneys and ruled out
by the Judge. He would still proceed to
tell "shust how it vas,n when the attor-
ney would sing out, "How do you know
hat ?n
my wife told me-"
This was repeated several times.
Presently the judge, unable to contain
longer, Interrupted: "Suppose
5our wife were to tell yon the heavens
lad fallen. what would you think
hen ?'
"NelI, den | dinks dat dey vas
down.
COMPLEX Relationship. - A cOrrcs-
pendent Of Hntl,cr's Nonthly il involved
N domestic perpIeXities. He writes:
II got acquainted with a young widow,
" ho lived with her step. daughter III the
same house. | married the widow; nay
'ather fell, shortly after it, in love with
he step daugter Of my wife, and married
her. My wife became the mother in
law and also the daughter-in law Of my
own father; my wifvs step-daughter is
my step-mother, and ! am the step