The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-01-20
HULTOROuS.

pair 0 pets attached TO the breast>w oras.
4 Cincinnati lady sues a miiliner for
breach of promise. She failed to finish
her bonnet within ten days.
No cards, no cake, no company. no.
body business. was recently appended TO
tie marriage notice Of a yoong cynic.
i An exchange thinks that over all ball
room. doors Should be inscribed, Look
out for the train.
/ Thin Man-'Boy, what's that hungry
looking dog following 1ue tor p
Boy-"iie thinks you are bone, |
| reckon y
/ It is said that the Editor Drawer"
/ in Harper's Mag zine, is made up By
woman. So are q great many EDITORS
/ drawers.
| The authorities of Waldeck, German
/ town, have given notice that no license TO
marry will hereafter be- granted to any
habItual drunkard.
/ Pittsburg enjoyed bran new sensation,
( last week, ca used by a young lady leaving
line Of bran along the sidewalks as she
was enjoying her afternoon promenade.
4 lecturer a. Patterson, n. j., asked
his audience, in stenioran tones, "W hat
did Moses say?' Shoe fly" was the an
>Wer from dozen boys in the gallery.
A western editor, speaking of rogue
who lives in his vicinity, says: The ras
cal has broken every bank and jail ard
Sabbath we have had in this county for
the last FIVE years.
At marriage ceremony in Wexford r.
I l., lately, the groom became impatien,
during the extended prayer, and interrupt
ed the clergy man with Elder, amt that
Oeout enough? p
/ At stable near St Louis there is
/ young pony colt OF the Shetland breed,
three weeks old, weighing only l6 pounds.
4 The Lilliputan animal is only twenty
inches in height, ard jumps through
/ fence like cat.
Professor, said student in pursuit of
/ knowledge concerning the habits of ami
mails, why does a cat, while eating, tura
her head first one way aud then the
other?' For the reason" replied toe
professor, that she cannot turn it both
ways at once"
DO you say your prayers regularly eve
~ night and morningY' asked sympa
thetlc lady Of little boot black. to whom
she had just given a tri1e. Il alluz SCI
um at night, mum, but any smart boy can
take care OF hi-self in the daytime" was
/. the little rogue's reply.
\ woman recently entered a store in
+ Connecticut and sat down in front of an
iron safe to warm her feet After sitting
some twenty or thirty minutes, she re.
marked that she never did like them
kind OF stoves-they didn't throw out
scarcely any heat
/ The Red Stockings gave Omaha the
credit Of having the worst base ball club
IN the bniged States 1t takes three of
them to pick up a ball, and then they
/ quarrel seventeen minutes to see who shall
throw it to the pitcher, when the pitcher
finally goes a ter it himself, and gets his
nose punched.
An urchln OF six or seven years went
into a barber shop III Racine and ordered
the barber to cut his hair as close as shears
would do it. He was asked If hi; mother
ordered it that way. No" said he,
but school commences next week, and
:, We ve got school-mam that pulls hair,
all I'm bound to fix her This term, you
bet -
r. taking the portrait Of young
lady, percs lved that when he was working
at her mouth she was trying to render it
sm. Her by contracting her lips DO rot
trouble yourself so much, madam" cx-
claimed the painter; IF you please, | viii
draw your face without any mouth at ali.
\ countryman having purchased gall
Ion q genuine mountain dew, for want Of
more business ike label wrote his name
uPon a common playing card, which hap
peuel TO be the seven Of clubs, and tied it
tn the handle Of the bottle A wag com
lng along and, observing the maneuvre,
remarked: That's an awful careless
i Way 70 leave thar iIaor. why so =
sa'd Tom. Why, somebody might come
along with the eight Of clubs and take it. "
Tom seized the bottle and bolted.
Il live by nay pen" said an editor,
I wishing 70 impr. : young lady. You
/ lock a if you lived in one, was her re-
/ p'y.
i subscriber wishing to stop his paper
wrote. II don't want your paper am
l,uger.' To which The editor replied, |
wuu.du MAKE il any longer if you did. .
NJ friend, have you sufficient conf
denea IN me TO lend lne Il dollar p 'Oh,
yasi confidence enough, bnt no dollar
Come, darling, it is bedtime. All the
little chicken have gone to bed. Yes,
mamma, 50 has the old hen.
\ colored couple visiting STATE House
were absorbed in admiration Of the pic
lures, velvet cushions, polished desks, &c.
rs they were leaving, Julius fingered
rolled his eyes up 10 the ceiling, and SAID
/ clar to goodness, Sllvy, dat de best
white washing | eber saw
4 Dutchman says Of the New Workers,
Dey go about der city scbeating each
odder, and dey calls dat business.
At the late eclipse, a colored individual
becoming excited. exclaimed, Dress de
Lord, niger tIms hab come at last, and
now We ; gwne to hab black sun"
What is the difference between an oyster
and a chi>ken2 One Is best just from the
she'll the other isn't
Why can't the cook eat her apron
Because II goes against her stomach.
The bin of fare al hotel being banded
tn country chap, he said, he did hot care
about reading now. would wait Till after
dinner