Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-09-21


fall into large ones.
The French are ahead-the Ger
mans are after them.
Difficult Notwithstanding a
stop to a gOssip's tongue.
He that pelts every barking dog
must pick up a great many stones.
The gem cannot be polished with
out friction, nor man without adVer-
sity.
Projections greatest benefit is not
for the manufacturer, but for the con-
sumner.
Free trade is incompatible with the
independence and security OF a great
nation.
When is a blow from q lady not OBJ
jectionsble? When she strikes you
a~greesbly.
Spinner's signature on the green
backs, translated into English is SIS
XXX07X2Z&C.
Teaeher-"T-h-a-t spells what?"
Bright ScholGr-"Does it I thought
it spelt hatln
The horse is a most curious feeder,
since he eats best when he has not a
bit in his mouth.
Railways are aristoeratie. They
teach every man to know his own
station, and stop there.
PoIiteness is like an air cushion,
there may be nothing in 1t, but 1t
eases jolts wonderfully.
Peter Cartwright has been preach
ing sixty-eight years years, and is
still vigorous at eighty-six.
A chap who bought a gas meter at
Akron wanted to know chow long
such a box full would last!'
Are not five sparrows sold for two
farthings, and not One Of them is for
gotten before God.-Lake ri. 6.
A widower was recently rejected by
a dnmsel who didn't want any affee-
| tons that had been "warmed over"
Capital weather, Mr.. Jones, capt.
tai weather. Ny wifeis got such q
cold she can't speak. I like such
weather."
Josh Billings reckOns among thelOst
arts, Pumkin Pi, Rum, Tanzey and
Honesty, and the art Of getting up in
the morning.
Poverty, ignorance, crime, sterllity,
and popular degradation and misery
are the curses that free trade entails
on a country.
A steam pillow was recently exhib-
tied at South Boston, that ats a fur
row ten feet wide and from three to
twenty inches deep.
"Ihave a great love for old hymns
said a pretty girl to a masculine COM
panion. 81 am much fonder Of young
hers" was his reply.
A young man in Ohio recently open.
ed a clothing store, and was sent to
iail forit. ReasOn-the clothing store
belonged to another man.
When the heart is pure there is
hardly anything that can mislead the
understanding in matters Of immedi'
ate personal Government.
The latest style Of necklaces arr
made Of large, round, cOlOred beads
to match the dress, and are wound
several times around the neck.
"Young man do you believe in a fu.
! ture state 2n "In course 1 duZ; anC
what's more, I mean to enter it a.
soon as Betsy gets her things ready
A young man charged with being
lazy was asked If he took it from his
father. 81 think not" asthe reply
fathers got all the laziness he evel
had"
Nothing tends more to increase ma
tional wealth, and to develop the skill
and ingenuity Of a people, than a di'
vision Of labor and a variety Of pur'
suits.
Add to temperance energetic perse'
Verance, and in almost any accredited
profession or occupation, and failure
win seldom be written upon the pag;
Of history.
Steadfastness and perseverance, il
almost any business, promise, at least
a competency Of al that is really
essential to a happy, useful, and an
honorable life.
Protectionists would tax foreign
] ULOAuEEL1 lOL tic DEAGAA VI AA0AAAl "a
Dor. Free Traders prefer by an exeis'
to tax home productions for the bene
at Of foreign manufacturers.
When we erect manufactures WI
create home markets for our surplus
products, and the whole community
is benefited by the exchange of thu
products of One mans labor for tina
Of another.
A conscious manliness, acknowl
edged worth and fair success in bust
ness are almost certain to that young
man who takes for his motto homes
integrity in all departments and rela
tons in life.
A contemporary tells Of a 'shreweC
Jersey farmern who doesn't shoe
boys that steal his melons, but let
them eat all they want and takes hi
revenge when reading their Obituary
notices in the paper the next day."
A Barrister, blind Of N eye, plead
ing with his spectReles on, said, "Gen
tlemen, in my argument I shall u.s.
nothing but what is necessary
iHThen,n whispered a Wag, take ont
Of the glasses out Of your s~peetacles.'
Two gentlemen were lately exam
lining a portion Of a plough in q mar
ket place. "Ill bet q dollar" saiC
one, you do not know what this i
for?n "Done,n said the other: sit Il
for sale" The bet was won and tn
wager paid.
"WhO's that gentleman, my littl,
man?n was asked of an urehin
"That one with the spike-tail coat p
"Yes," was the response. why, he'
a brevet uncle of mine.n How
that2n was asked. "Cause he's en-
gagged to my aunt Mary"
A queer looking customer inserte,
his head into an auction store, ant
looking gravely at the knight Of thu
hammer, inquired. "Can I bid, sir p
Certainly" replied the auctiOneer
"Well, then said the wag, walking
off II bid you good night.
At one Of the stations on a certain
railway, recently, an anxious inquir
er came up to the dosro Of the baggage
car and said: SIS there anything 70
me?" After some search among boxe
and trunks, the baggage-man role,
out q keg Of whisky. "Anythinl
more p asked the wet grocer. hYes.i
said the Daggage-man, there's
gravestOneth lat goes with that liquor. )