Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-07-21
For the Gallipolis Journal.
The Grammar Family.


This celebrated family, of which I
am about to give you Q few hiograph-
ical sketches, is one that enjoys the
advantages and benefits of life of
many centuries Probably no other
family On record shares such extern
sive reputation. They were cotem-
porary with Cesar and Augustus.
They lived and existed in the days
and glory of priSftive knighthood.
They were active participants In all
the scenes OF carnage and bloodshed
of ancient antiquity; passed through
all the barbarism of the dark ages;
have rode over all the changing
waves of time; fought in Liberty's
Cause of l776, and Freedoms Rights
of lS61-5, and still they live with un-
tarnished luster and dazzling bright
ness.
Many well written and interesting
histories of the family are extant,
but no where do we find any clue or
intelligence respecting their origin.
1t is impossible to date their begin
ming, and therefore imp ossible to say
to what race of people they belong.
Their dialect is all languages indis
criminate.
Notwithstanding the prolixity of
their lives, and the wonderfulness of
their character, still there are great
many of this day, and many, too,
who move about in Our bon ton ring,
that know nothing, or comparatively
nothing. concerning their history aud
character Tothis lsmentahle fact,
indeed, can many'pert little School
Mafms, and as many would be i'm
portant School Masters, trace some
of their unhappy failures on exami-
nation day. Those who are the least
acquainted, and who manifest the
least desire to become acquainted
with this family, have, it seems, a
natural ability TO abuse and mistreat
them. They cannot engage in con,
versation ofany character, but some
one of the Grammar Family shame
iuiiy Suuer as Tue result
Go into the school room, and even
there you will find lazy, indolent
boys and girls seemingly taking the
greatest delight in openly expressing
a feeling of hatred and dislike for
this family. This remarkable fam
lily is not particularly large in mem
bers, though in this regard has con-
siderable respectabiiity. Including
the old gentleman and lady there are
eight, I believe, in all, OF the six
children, three are boys and three
are girls.
The father or head of the family
is old Mr.. Noun. In many respects
he is a very comical and interesting
gentleman. One of his most pleas
ing characteristics is his ready fac
ulty of giving everything name that
he sees. And my! what funny
names he gives things sometimes. |
So apt is he in this business that he
is popularity referred to under the IT,
tie of name. He seems to take great
delight, occasionally, in puzzling
Philadelphia lawyers, by giving
things such out-landish names, that |
it requires the combined efforts of
four of the above attorneys to pro-
nounce them.
Old Mr. Noun is also remarkable
for his discipline and government of
family affairs. There are no jar
rings, family disputes aud discords
between any of the household. All
is harmony, grace and beauty.
Dir. Noun is also said to possess
considerable property, though very
fortunate for him, it is not taxable.
he has the power to pos
sess whatever property he chooses,
at will and pleasure, still he always
denotes his possession by certain ex
ternal marks and signs. Heis some
times the object of favor and for
tune, sometimes of kicks and cuffs. 2
The wife of Mr.. Noun is very de-
lightful, and especially, an agreeable
old lady. IT'S related of her that
not since her marriage has she been
known to disagree with her husband,
except in just four cases, and they
are not worth mentioning here.
What a contrast between her and
the majority of womankind.
Her name is Pronoun. From the
prefix Pro, to her name, we might be
led to suppose she was born before
her husband, but as we always find
her standing for him in his absence,
he reason of the prefix is explained.
Much might be said in regard to
,he character of the old lady, that
would prove interesting and novel,
would our time allow. We find her
throwing aside, as it were,
ler fair proportions, and personify-
ng animals of the lower order, rep
them in various manners
md ways.
Sometimes she represents the ele-
nents, and in twinkling of sn eve
will be back to her husbands side,
're he has suspected her absence.
Occasionally she becomes very in
Iuisitive, and irdulges in interroga-
ories to a considerable extent. She
llso possesses property in common
With her husband. t
The next of the family is their 8
harming and affectionate daughter, !
kTss Adjective.
She is the pet and real delight OF
he whole family. She seems to have 7
he very warmest affection for her t