The Lincoln County herald., 1870-01-13

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Still contriving, still pursuing,
And each one husband get. ''. i'
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Pretty girls are the guide boards thai
point the way to the State of Matrimony,
"You ought to lay up something f.,
rainy day" said an anxious father to 4
proAigate son. "And so l have" replied
the youth. '"What?" "Au umbrella"
A young divorce seeking colored wo..
man of Cincinnati pleaded her own ease
as follows: Judge, can't love dat dgr
niger he kicked me in do ribs once till
he looscned all my insides." '''' .a'
"Boy, may inquire where Robinson
drug store is?" Certainly, sir" replied
the boy, very respectfully. swell, sir.
said the gentleman, after waiting awhile.
"where is it?' IL have not the least
idea, your honor" said the urchin. 3. l-.
"My dear Lucy, I am surpassed 1T
your taste in wearing another woman
hair on your head" said Smith to In
wife. my dear Tom," replied she, ii
am equally astonished that you persist ia
wearing another sleeps wool on your
back.
The BETTER HALF.-It being agreed
at q party Of twelve that q disputued
question should be settled by the opinion
Of the maj Gritty, the six ladies' expressed
themselves opposed to the six gentlemen
and claimed the victory. "A gentleman
objected to this saying, "They we're half
and half" "True' replied the witty far
one; "but We are che better halves.
The Sachet pctticoat is the elegant no.
ton of the moment in London. 1t is
made of light sort of flannel, and lined
with silk, pink or green, blue, mauve or
cerise. .colored, quilted and scented with
violet powder, exactly like hand erchief
or glove case. Morning gowns are also
made in the same style; they are per-,
fumed dresses. -'.'
A COMMON WANT.-In the midst of a
stormy discussion, q gentleman rose 10
settle the matter in dispute Waving bis !,
hand majestically over the excited dis
putapts, he began: .,7 ,...... > -
"Gentleman, all want is common
'9."' Hila a,'f \ -
"Exactly," Jerrold interrtuted, l"that
is precisely what you do want" 'ss 9,...a
The discussion VA lost 10 . burst of
laughter.
A hymn. book lately published BY the
oplritHai'sts, makes an attempt TO com.
bne an index Of authors aud an index OF
the first lines, occasionally abbeeviatinc
the latter t. save space, with soma very,
curious results. Reterences are given
to = -
"De you wound the heart that loves -
Dexter smith," t i"ry sat-rga ,p;lsbr.
'Have you heard of the beautiful,
Amanda T. Jones'" .,.,....tIt...s
20, ! love the sparkliug-Mrs. Cora
Daniels" 's'NH' N'oa drl's-[
I'VE come, We come from Hudson
Tuttle." a.iirTyr,,.
Mt AS A MEANS o. Psoxor,oN
The late Duke Of York once remarked TO-
Colonel w., At the msss Of the Eleventh
Regiment, that the Colonel was pncou-
monty bald, and, although . much
younger man than his Royal Hiphoess.
he stood in more need ofa Wig. Tho
Colonel, who bad bees ofvery ioss sissd.
ing 10 the service, snd whose promotion
had been BY no means, rapid, iuforued y
bis Royal Highness that bis balduess
could be easily accounted for. "In What
manner ?" asked the duke. 10 which
Coiessl W. replied: by juuior ol6os,s-
stepping over my head" The Duke WAS
70 pleased with the reply that the e.uaptr
Colonel received promotion in few days.
A student Of Ana lArbor,, Michigan.
having remarked that men had more en-
iursncs than women, . lady present an.
'wered that one would like to s>e .tha
'hirtssn hundred young men Ia the Uni.
1ersity laced In steel ribbed sorets. with
hoops, heavy skirtA trails, high heels.
'suniers, ohiguons, and dozens Of hair
bins sticking in their sealps, cooked N,
Q the house yea. afssr year, with 10 er.
'i'arsting exercise, no hopes, aius. nor
ambitious 10 life, isd sss il thsy could
t.nd IL % we'll - the eirls. NotHjos.
aid she, bst the fact that seoeu. lite.,
.ts, have sine lives, enables then 10 sur-i
i've the present regime to which custou