The Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1870-1875, 1870-12-06
HUMOROUS.

THE Red Stockings need patching.
A MISS is better than a mile-of
misters.
A MERE matter of form-eutting a
dress.
POPULAR engraviDgs in Prussia
Metz tints.
DEAD Reekoning-An uuderlaker's
accounts.
FIGARO describes foundIings as
children born on the European
plan"
THE modern (R)aight Errand(D-
A husband sent for the doetor.-Jugy.
WHEN does man become a mere
herb? When long experience makes
him sage.
THE most unsociable things are
mile stones; you never see two OF
them together.
HOWEVER much a pawnbroker's
shop may be crowded It IS always
loan sam place.
Why is a pig with a twisted tail
like the ghost IN uamlet2 Because
it could a tail unfold.
FIVE ladies of the corps de ballet
lately started from Paris for America
in cordy balloon.
WHEN is it, that in looking at cat
you commit a State prison Oifsnse2
When you oount-her-feet.
HIST to motbers-When a child
will creep rather than walk it's sign
of an Onkneesy disposition.
A CORRESPONDENT states that
acorns in California are as large chest
nuts. Greet hoax from little aoorns
grow.
THE female member of the Iowa
bar advertises herself an "attorneyess-
at law" She has not yet had a case
ess.
Josh Billings s9ys: when a fell
Ter gets a goin' down hill, it dus seem
eg tho everything had been greazed
for the kashun."
Mr.. Hogg is the proprietor of the
English magazine known Is L0l'd0n
Society SO. in order to get into Lon
don Society, one must first make this
Hogg's acquaintance.
MANY man thinks it's virtue that
keeps him from turning rascal, when
it's only full stomach. One should
be careful and not mistake bread for
principles.
A REASON which philanthropist
gives for 'isparing the noble red men"
is. that we should lose the pleasantest
part of our years if we hadn't tho
Indian some'ers (summers).
"I SAY, Deacon, have you hunted
down that chap that stole your oyer
coat and umbrelia?" mo, [ have not
moIested him; he'll fetch up in
world where neither oVercoat nor um-
brella will be of use to him"
TIE Nation Journal says a ca ndi-
date in that district is bewailing the
fact on every stump in that district
that the tax Is taken off peanneTs,
what We don't use, and kept on whisky
what We do,
Devotion TO SCIENCE Mamma
"Ah! you cruel, cruel boy, how could
you frighten your dear littie sister
SOP" The inoorrigible-"I-I only
wanted to see if her hair would turn
white "-PuHcaiRello.
A PROFESSOR. giving s lecture to
some boys, was explaining how one
could live without air. He then said,
"You have all heard of man drowing
how does that happen?' The ready
answer was, Cause he can't s8im?'
WE have heard Of a young man who
was so modest that be asked young
lady if he might ''be allowed the privi-
lege of going home with her" and
was indignantly refused, whereupon
he inquired, very bumbiy, If be might
be allowed to sit on the fence and
see her 50 BY"
OLE Bull used to relate the follow
ing! He had been ct Donnybrook,
when he was attracted By the sound
of very loud violin IN tent He
entered and said to the player, My
good friend, do you play By note?"
"DiYil a note, sir" s'Do you play by
ear. then?" Never an ear, your
honor" How do you play, theu2"
by main strength, be jabbers." "
WHEN an editor leaves home and
allows matters to berun by his devil" "
says a rural exchange, there is no es-
| simating the queer things that may
happen in his absence, partiularly If
the devil" be one of the smart kind,
such as they have in Iowa. The
editor of the Clear Lake (Iowa) Oh
serUfr has been on six weeks tour
/ in the East, and announces on his
return that not only has his devil"
contracted matrimony, but "bas also
got twins"