The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1870-10-07
Misttllantous.
AWKWARD PREDICAMENT.

We clip the following from the New
York Daily News. 1t is too good to be
lost:
A few evenings since, a party OF
friends met at social gathering at a
fashionable restaurant. Some were
bachelors, and some were in the enjoy
ment of Heavens best gift on earth to
manp The evening was cold and chilly
and most of them wore overcoats. Two
of these were nearly alike, and were
owned respectively by Charley c.
and Charley s., one of them mar
ried, and the latter single-a wild, rak-
ish sort of fellow, who as fast as he was
out of one scrape was in another. His
pockets were always full of rosecolored
IFmissives and delicate love tokens. His
heart was desolate out of the sunny
glances Of womankind; yet his adven-
lures had never permitted the matri-
| rnonial moose to curl around it. His
friend Charley c. is sober, married
man, cherishing bright-eyed but jeal
ou5-hearted little wife, who loves him
tenderly. He had found it difficult to
| obtain permission to attend the supper
at all.
1t was given at last, with tho under
standing that he would como homo
carly. He didn't, however, but sat
late; 50 very late indeed, that he slept
soundly the next morning until the
sun was far advanced toward the zenith.
| He had met with misfortune, too,
having stumbled on his way home and
rolled in the muddy street. His wife,
however, set about repairing the mis-.
hap the next morning by cleansing his
muddy coat. While engaged in this
occupation, her hand, by the merest
chance in the world, strayed into one
Of the side pockets of the coat, and en-.
countering neatly folded billet.doux
supcrscribed simply to Charley, read
"Do not go to that horrid supper
love, but come to me instead. am SC
lonely. Your devoted Kate"
Oh, my! but the little blue eyes flash.
ed-the color came and went on cheek
and forehead-when she read the lines
There was q moments pause, as if tC
still the deep intensity of passion, and
then Mr.. C. was rudely shaken from
his rest.
"What is the meaning of this, sir p
and the little white hands trembleC
with passion as the offending paper wa:
held up before the culprit.
81 don't know! who brought it ?"
"Who brought it, sir? found it II
your coat pocket, Mr.. c.; want s
divorce, tooW
Mr.. c. was fully aroused by
this time. He protested he knew moth
ing of the note lac did not know how
the treach erous little thing came int
his pocket. He appealed to his wiie's
good sense. She would hear of no de
nial, but, instead, made another divt
into the coat pocket. Another littl,
missive rewarded her search. 1t wa
brimful of the tendereSt endearments
and dated only two days back, but wa
in another handwriting, very beautiful
and signed Jennie
"Oh, you Turk ! Just look .at that y
and while Charley's beWildered eye
We're perusing the letter, another visi
was made to the receptacle of love-
another letter came out. 1t was equal,
delicate, but full of upbraiding. l
called Charley cruel, false, deceitful
said that 'Fanny's' broken heart was t.
be laid at his door, and his once love,
darling would die early.
The lips were white now with rage
the blue eyes all aflame with fire, tn
little wilowy form drawn up to its full
est height. Charley never saw her look
ing SO indignant.
"You rake-monster Why, Brig
ham Young would be ashamed to do a
you have DONE"
Another dive was made for the pock
ct, and letter after letter was brough
out, until dozen strewed the floor
all of them from different ladies, al
evincing the tenderest love for Charley
Unable to cope with the storm of in
dignation, he made hasty exit fror
the room, and leaving the house, LEI
his wife to mediate upon divorce o
suicide at leisure. A few moment
after, however, servant of Charlie,
l S. appeared with Mr.. G-'s over
coat, and respectfully solicited the re
turn of his masters.
) The reader is left to imagine the rest