Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1870-11-05
GATHERINGS by THE WAYSIDE.

1T needs woman to get Bazaine out
Of Metz. An irresistible Sally could do it.
"A manufacturing wire-worker, in an
advertisement, invites the public to come
and sec his inyisbie wire fence.
"A fellow calling himself Baird, and
claiming to have taken seventeen degrees
of Masonry, is lecturing against the order
in Illinois.
The Trustees Of Washington College,
Virginia, voted Mrs. Il. f. Lee the Presi-
dents house, and an annuity of $4,000,
should she survive the General.
A Frenchman wishing to compliment
girl as "little lamb" called her "small
mutton" He did not understand the
technicalities of the English language.
An ingenious New Yorker has learned
how to keep an umbrella. He buys big
cotton one, fractures two ribs, and breaks
of six inches Of the handle. No one steals
it.
A philosopher says if you want pair
of boots to last four years, melt and mix
four ounces Of mutton tallow apply while
warm, place the boots in closet and go
barefoot.
---Onc of the latest notions is the birth
card, resembling wedding card, but bear.
ing the name of the new conner and the
date of his advent, with the initials of his
parents.
A man named Oates was had up re.
Gently for beating his wife and children
On being sentenced to Imprisonment, the
brute remarked that sit was very hard a
man was not allowed to thrash his own
OATS"
An Ohio youth. sitting in church,
mi 'took the touch Of the plume on the
jaunty hat Of young lady for fly on his
neck, and with the energy of evaporation
sent plume, hat and chignon flying into a
distant pew.
A witness in murder case at Macon,
Georgia, swore that he saw the murder at
the distance of hundred yards-had
measured it by stepping-but could not
tell the number of steps nor how many feet
there are in yard.
A wealthy old lady living in Brookline,
Mass, called in her neighbors one day last
week, and told them to take everything in
tho house. They went energetically to
work, and before any of her friends knew
it, there was not an article of furniture left.
A religious mania did it; and now legal
force Is trying to get them back again.
A Chicago paper tells this story Of
Boston A young lady of one Of the most
aristocratic families of the American Athens
went to her physician with complaint that
her cars were too large, and, under her in.
structions, carefully removed a delicate
crescent Of pink gristle about an inch and
half long from each protuberant. He
sewed up the wound, and the maiden, pre-.
viously all forlorn, was delighted to behold
two "pretty ears" small. graceful and
genteelly tight to her head.
The principal product Of Styria is
iron. A tradition Of long standing among
the natives relates that when the barbara
ans from the regions north of Danube drove
the Romans from Styria, the Genius Of the
Mountains appeared to the conquerers and
said: "Take your choice: will you have
gold mines for year. silver for twenty
years, or iron forever!" The wise ances.
tors Of the Styrians, who had just begun
to appreciate the relative value Of the pre-.
cious metals, at once decided to accept iron
forever.
Some mad wag in New York perpe-
trated huge practical joke, the other day,
on those having claims against the Beetho-
ven Festival Association, by putting par.
agraph in morning paper telling them to
call alta certain number for their money,
which they did, en- masse, to be told that
they must go to another number and street,
where they were finally informed that they
had simply been hoaxed badly. The
amount Of swearing and lager drinking af-
terward is said to have been unprecedented
In the annals Of German America.