The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-05-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
r,n-s,cr-A nilloM-case.

NAP-sACK-A pillow-case.
A eALE-A-DAY is no treat for mariner.
GROUND RENTS = The effect of an
earthquake.
THE Spring-time Of Life-Our dancing
days.
JUDY thinks /" doctors bills" are "tax
on patience.
WHAT can you not name without break
ing it? Silence.
WHY are bushes like girls Because
they becom women.
If you want so marry real estate
agent, marry a rich wife.
WHY is love like a canal boat? Be-
cause it is an internal transport.
THE most pleasant reflection some young
ladies have is the mirror.
IT is only those who have done nothing
who fancy they can do everything
MANAGEMENT is better than stupidity.
A policy in the Washington is better than
the promises of relatives.
AT. Wn.MARTH, Viee-President of the
Home, of New York, is a policy holder,
stakeholder and director of the Wash
ington Life
AN English paper says: GA friend of
ours, whenever hedispatches telegram
now, invariably sends off letter by post,
TO say it is comingr
A WATERBURY,, Conn, physician re-
Gently received note from a mother,
which read as follows: Doctor-Sir ::
Call and see the Baby and vexett him as
the small pOx is 6. Bout here as soon as
you get this"
A COLUMBUS photographer presented
revolver at the head of a gentleman VIII,
was sitting for his photograph, with the
cheering remark: =" My reputation as an
artist is at stake. If you don't look smil-
ing III blow your brains out" He smiled
CHASTITY smile.
CELERY, DREssED.-The yelks of two
eggs and a cupful of cream must be put
into pan, and be beaten well together
then add as much vinegar as suits your
taste, and lump of butter the size of a
walnut. Let all boil together for two
minutes, and then pour the mixture over
the celery. Add salt and pepper.
THE NORMAL MUSICAL ACADEMY of
the Northwest holds an Institute course
of two weeks in the Lecture Hall of CrOs-
by's Opera House, Chicago, commencing
Aug. 23d, 1870, with the following power
full combination of teachers: II. r. Palm
er, Carlo Bassini, Hans Baiatka, Robert
Goldbeck, Dudley Buck, and E. E. Whit
temOre A very interesting programme
of each days exer cises sent to any one ad
dressin II. r. Palmer, Principal, Is eros
by's Opera House, Chicago
A STRONG HINT.-A little boy, who
had been told that he must never ask fol
anything to eat away from home, went
into neighbours house when the lady
CHANGED TO be frying doughnuts. "Oh,
said he, "yOu are cooking" Aware that
he had been we'll trained, and anxious tC
see whether mis- appetite would get the
better of his manners, the lady did no
give him any of the dOughnuts. "Well,
said he, returning to the charge, "youl
cakes look nice" "Oh, very nice" sale
the lady; they are the best l ever cook,
ed" After playing with the cat few
minutes, he remarked, "And they smell
nice" "Oh, yes, they smell very nice, ,
was the lady's tantalizing answer. "Well, y
said the boy, 4 suppose if any little
child that was hungry should come in here
when you are cooking, you would give
him something TO eat" Well, yes,
think | should" "Then," said he, aftel
another turn with the cat, 81 guess
must go home, for l am very hungry"
is needless to add that he got dOughnut