Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1870-11-12
NO. l3.
The Tipsey Irishman's Alarm.

4 few months since, sop Of Erin, about
nine o'clock one evening, called at country
inn, and demanded lodgings f'r the night. Is
was evident from his appearance and actions
that he and liquor had been Jolly companions
throughout the day.
The landlord was lazy goodrnstured soul.
and had imbbed rather freely that day him
self. "lf give you light, and tell you
where the room, is, you can fnd the place, " said
the landlord.
."Och, auit's myself ,lat can do that most
Elegantly Jist show me ,he way, an II! find
it azy," rejoined the Irishman.
The directions were given TO him, and also a
candle. He was directed to 80 20 room in
the second story of the house. BY the time
be lad reached the top Of the stairs Lis light
had become extinguished aud he had forgotten
in what direction be was TO So Seeing rays
of light issuing from room, and found it to
contain bed, in which lay a man, and =
stand with lighted lamp on it. Feeling dis
inclined to make any further search for the
room, to which he had been directed, he d-
vested himself of his clothing and quietly
crept into the back part Of the bed
lie had been in bed but a few minutes,
when young lady and gentleman entered the
room. The Irshman eyed them closely
/ They seated themselves on chairs in close
proximity to each other, and after chatting
merrily for time, the young man threw bis
arm around her waist in cousinly manner
and imprinted kiss upon her tempting lips,
| There was a witchery in it which demanded
a repetition. The scene amused the Irish
man vastly, and being free from selfishness,
he concluded that his sleeping companion
should be a participant with him in the en-.
joyment of the scene, and to this end be nuds
ed him but bis companion stirred not. lIO
then put his hand upon him, and found that
he was tightly locked in the cold embrace Of
death.
Simultaneous with this discovery lie bound
ed out of bed, exclaimins-" Murther. murth-
er! Howly saints Of Iliven, perfect me"
He had scarcely touched the floor with bis
feet before the young lady and gentleman were
making rapid strides towards the stairway,
terror being depicted on their counte-
nanccs They had just reached the top of the
stairs when the Irishman came dashing along
as though all the fends Of Erebus were close
at his heels intent on making him their prey,
and the whole three went tumbling down
stairs, and it is hard to determine which Of tho
three reached the foot of the stairs first.
The landlord stood aghast as the lriSbman
rushed into tue bar-room, with nothing be-
tween him and nudity but garment vulgar
ly styled a shirt, and the hair on his head
standing upon end, his eye-bals ready to start
from their sockets, and lie sasping for breath.
It was sight that would have made man
| laugh who had worn a vinegar face from the
day of his birth. Nothing could induce him
to seek bed that night again.
When the young lady and gentleman found
that it was not the corpse that had so uncere-
moniously bounded from the bed, they return
ed to the room they being the watchers for
the night, and, doubtless commenced their
courting at the point where it was 50 sudden
ly broken of.