The Carson daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1865-1870, 1870-02-23
THE SUBJECT OF THE CENSUS
WHERE THE LAUGH CONES IN.

We experience q sense of qualification
which is all the more pleasurable, mas
much as it takes Us by surprise, on find.
ing that 10 the hands of man of ge
MUS the subject of the United States
Census, usually dry, statistical and
mono,onous, becomes not ouly readable,
but interesting, and provocative of tha,
genial species of merriment which is ex.
cited by the pleasantries of the humorist.
Senator Nye, with his accustomed
though,fulEess and appreciation OF a
good thing, has franked US q copy Of
the Congressional Globe of the l1rb
inst, containing Senator Conkling' s
speech, delivered on the 9th inst, in
Committee of the Whole, having in con.
sideration the House bill to provide for
taking the 9th Census. We feel much
obliged to Governor Nye for thus calling
our attention to this excellent speech :;
for it gives US a clearer appreciation of
the satirical powers of the New York
Senator and, at the same time, reveals
to US the fact that the Census is, in the
hands of q master, to be ranked, as a
matter of interest, with the :! Phoenix
Papers" or Mark Twain's Innocents
Abroad" 1t would seem that the Sen
a,or, in this speech, addressed himself
to certain slip-shod remarks OF Senator
Sumner, (who seems to have rare
faculty for getting his foot in it and
making himself obnoxious by his Off
ciousness) and to certain voiuminous
schedules which would seem to owe
their paternity to one DR.. Hough, a
Census " sharp" Said Mr.. Conkling
Mr. President, while the honorable Senator
vas demonstrating the wisdom of prelim- |
mary distribution of blanks, relying from
Srst to last upon DR.. Hough as his authority,
I wonder that he did not notice the census |
taken of the District of Columbia in 1867.
That is a recent event which fully typihes
and illustrates the leading feature Of the bill |
which the Senator supports Preliminary |
schedules were distributed there Great |
pains were taken. The Freedmen's Bureau
and the policemen interceded and many au-
xiliaries were brought in. l ask the Senate |
to hear the result.
First, woodland" that slightly indefin-
able and poetic something, which in express
erms is not included BY the schedules of
1850, but every acre of which appears, not in
B. TILED and improved land that appears
.lso-but in acres laid down, county by coun-
Y and State BY State, of g unimproved
lnds"
Second, poultry and eggs" is an addition.
Third, milk sold for general use" have
good deal what kind of milk that
sold for general use" Laughter
thought perhaps it was like the drunken
mans milk: the milk Of the man who came
.ome at night drunk and thirsty, and, hunt
~ IN the pantry for something to drink, in
-Gired of his wife whether the milk was tied
p in anything, or lying around loose. |
Laughter i
The honorable Senator gave his notice next {
D fisheries. mean to be brief, and therefore
It me say that fisheries are described most
| ow: As .products of industry" Are they
Dt such products And they appear fully.
hey appear in the historical statement, and
,ey appear taoulated, from the whale TO the :
ys'er and that is far enough, think, even =
II the big fish of the present.
Mr. President, no portion of the DISGUISE !
on of the honorable Senator from Massa- :.
Iusetts moved me so profoundly as the notice
: gave TO the subject of mines. Just there
= hankered GENEROUSLY after the vote of the =
NOR Senator from Nevada, Mr.. Nye,l and :
e, Mr.. President, see the profound know
dse of man the almost forbidden insight =
TO the secret springs and dark solitudes of :.
imam nature the willy cunning the subtle a
ealth the more than magician's art, with u
hich he angled for that inexperienced and :. :.
Senator. Laughter. He first u
unnamed him; he appealed to his pride of y
caiity he invoked his love of home he -
INJURED him BY his record SO bright and SO !,
Ne on the subject of mines; and, having
US melted into pliability the gentler nature
his captive, all at once he executed one of m
ose grand movements OF oratory, one of
ose majestic transitions from horizon to
,rizon, and maddeued his helpless listener
It'll resentment against the census of 1850
ID the act authorizing il. Observe the con- C
inmate means employed. He resorted to a
.dden disclosure, and revealed the fact that Vi
oducts of mines appear in the same census II
Die with productions of paper and produc- ;,
Jas of cotton. Only think 1t, the product "
mines crucified between two such CONNER ri
al thieves as one OF Christendom's chief !,
sples on the one Size, and on the other the ~
eat civilizer of the world The precious W
ctals sandwiched between two such lepers ;,
cotton and paper. -
Alas, for the products of mines th
IL.