Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-05-14
CAVALIER DOGS"
Mark Twain,s History of the FOund-
err of the Family and His Descend

Mark Twain's History of the Found
er of the Family and His Descend
ANTS.
When Noah disembarked at Ararat ne
had scarcely touched the pier when he
proceeded to tally bis passengers. He
had Just checked his last item in the list
q Mr.. and Mrs. Bedbug- when the cring-
ing figure of quadruped come sneaking
down the gsug-plauk with his tail between
his legs. ''Drat it, if there amt that
yalIer dog I" says Noah, aiming vicious
kick with bis brogsn at the brute. But,
with a facility born of long and bitter
experience, the brute dodgrd the projcc-
tile, and calculating ''ki-yi," which is
Syriac for ''dccljued with theuks," OF
"not for Jo"-he disappeared, while
Noah, who had his sea-legs Cd, wes una
BILE to recover bis equilibrium, and sat
down with emphasis on the back of his
head.
Noah arose, and, in accordance with
the style prevalent among the patIisrchs,
he proceeded to soothe his affronted digpi-
ty by pronOuucing vsriegated anathema
upon the yaller dog, which had character
istically sneaked Uuobserved on board, in
the confusion of putting TO sea, and cap
sized the Captain at the first polt. He
cursed that dog in body, limb, bark, hide,
hair, tail and wag, and all bis generations,
relations and kindred, by coDssngUiuity or
affinity, and his heirs and assigns. He
cursed him with endless hunger, with per-
petual fear, with perennial laziness, with
hopeless mango, with incessant f1eas, aud
NTH HE foil hofv- hic 1noo To
his stock of maledictions by sparkling
display of pyrotechnics, from the demon
llizing effect of which the yaler dog has
never recovered.
With this curse sticking TO him like q
revenue stamp the y8ller dog can't help
/ sing ''cussed." He don't thy tc help it.
lie follows Nosh's programme with
sneaking fidelity. He is an Ishmaelite
among dogs. He receives the most OPP
pressiye courtesies in the folm of brick
bats, boots and hot water, which makes
his life an animated target excursion. He
boards around like district school teach
er, and it is meal-time with him twenty
four hours in the day. The rest of the
time he bankers after something to eat
He is too omniverous for an eplcute.
Cram him at Delmonico's, and he would
hunger for dessert from an Albany board
ing-house.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired.
As swill-cart locomotive, a hunter or a
sentinel, he is an ignominious failure The
dog churn was a strategic attempt to en-
ploy his waste energies, but he hadn't any
waste energies, and butter had too much
self-respect to ''come" at bis persuasion.
So the dog churn was dropped.
No sausage maker dare forcclose his
lien On the yaller dog, lest bis customers
no longer ''soothed and sus ;liued by an
unfaltering trust"-tIansfer their patron
age TO some less audacious dealer. The
sayages, who admire baked dog, aud who
can even attack tripe and explore the mys-
teries of hash, without dismay, acknowl-
edged the yaller dog to be too much for
their gastric intrepidity.
He always manages to belong to q rag
ged, tobacco-chewing, wbisky-drinking
master, whose business is swapping dogs
and evadiug the dog tax. The yaller dog
is acquainted with himself, and he en-
Joys the intimacy with edify ing conten. pit
He sinks along through life, on a diago
nal dog-trot, as if in doubt as to which enc
of him is entitled to the precedence. HI
isslwsys pervaded by haug-dog sense o.
guilt, and when retributive tluwa-e il
fastened to his tail, he " flies from the
wrath TO come" with holrifed celebrity
which ought to be very suggestive {
twolegged sinners of sim'lsr ordeal j
store for him.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak il
italics, he is a SLOUGH.