davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

. aCoULDN'T FIND, TIE ,VERpICT.-At
recent session, of one of the courts of
South, Carolina, an entire negro jury
was empannelcd- A case was brought
before them, the witnesses examined,
Sand the attorneys made their respective
arguments.
The Judge, after laying down the law
and recaritulating the testimony, gave
the papers into the hands ofthe foreman
a rather intelligent looking darkcy, with
instructions as soon as they found ver-
dict to bring it in without fail
Thirty minutes or more elapsed, when
the jury returned, headed by the fore
man, and stood before the judge
As the foreman appeared to hesitate,
the Judge inquired
"Mr. Foreman, have you found Il YER
dict 2" l'''a - e'9.i
'No, Massa Judge, We habcn't found
,cm no how" replied the ebony juryman.
"It'sa very plain case, said the Judge.
Cant help it, Massa, couldn't sec it, y
replied ebony again.
20. what grounds ?" inquired the
Judge.
We didn't look Into the grounds,
Nlassa Judge" replied the foreman "dc
ossiier did not take US out into dc
grounds, but he took us into room and
locked us in. an tolc US when We found
lie verdict he would left us out. So VIC
began to find de verdict, and search
ebery nook, corner, crevis, an cbcry tiny
4 dcrc was in dat room but we found nc
! vcrdics-no muffin Oh dc kline dar."
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

The PRINrING OFFIcE- Is a ScuooL,
For young man who is not altogether
fuol, who has had the advantages
of an ordinary education, the printing
Office is undoubtedly capital school for
intellectual advancement. In regard to
general knowledge, no class who labor
for living can approach the printer
The studious among them, if their natu,
raj gifts he not below the evel of medic.
Gritty, have equal chances with the
members Of the so called professions,
to acquire both worldly honors and
literary fame From the days of Caxton
To those OF franklin, and from his days
to our own, the craft has produced
eminent men in profession and every
walk # life.
A printer is generally critic, not
only OF language and punctuation, but
of the intrinsic literary merits Of whatever
comes under his hand. 1t is impossible
that he should be otherwise, since so
great Il part Of his life is made up, as
it were, of facts that enforce reflection.
The labor that employs his hands gives
his mind neither exercise nor care.
His fingers move intuitively to the exact
points requisite for the proper appoint
ment OF his work while his mind scizps
the idea sought to be conveyed by the
writer whose work he is engaged on, and
is only expelled thcrefrom after his judg,
mcnt has passed sentence upon its merits.
Many one, without knowing it.
possibly owes some unknown ccmpositor
or proof reader much more reputation as
write than he would be willing to
acknowledge. ifby changing of a SEN
tence without affecting its meaning, he
can Civ it strength or smoothness, MS
good printer he asksno questions about
the matter but changes it at once.
There are some printers, it is true.
who can never learn the slainest rule of
composition or punctuation To such a
one might we use the identical words
spoken by well known divine, Speeding
to young, but particularly silly candi-
date for ministerial orders; Young
man, you have made mistake; you have
been called to another-thc cornfield."
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

In school examination lady ap-
penlcd to the self. consciousness Of the
children, and then tried to teach them a
little about their senses They knew
that they saw and heard, but it was n
revelation to them that they saw with
their eyes and heard with their cars. So
the lady said to them
"You have noses; what are they for ?"
There WIS n dead silence, but ut last
one adventurous nrchi6 replied: '@'-
Please ma'am--to be wiped"
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29
NUMBER, so.


AMERICAN SLANG.-Thc ntter igno-
rance of the English of the Specification
of American slang expressions, often
causes some curious scenes between them
and Yankee buyers in England, who
seem to think that because their lan- =
guage generally is understood, all their 3
American idioms will be. An expert
buyer, junior partner in one of our large
American firms, at recent visit TO his
correspondent in an English man,
featuring city, was conplmentcd by
the senior partner Of the house, who
insisted on personally showing goods to
his American purchaser.
There, SIR" said Dowlas, throwing
out roll of goods, "what do you think
of that?" 4,
80, that's played out" said the Amc-
rican.
''It's WHAT" said Bull. o .s,
"It's played, / tell you, said his Gus
toner. f..,, .-r..t i.f..
"Playcd-ah. really-wc call it plrd,
hyar in England, but this isn't plaid.
plad, you know. sH- ~.
No." said the Yankee, Il don't mean
plad. l mean ter say, it's gone up"
cob, no. said the Britishcr, tnot at
all; it has not gone up-qrite the con-,
trary, We've taken off from the price 7"
Over the left; its three, pence too
high. nos" 49,. r...f.s,,
''No doubt of it, but our ncigi,bors.
you know, on the left are not n,anufac-
turcrs, you know"
Very likely; but don't care to be
stuck when get home" II
REALLY, most extraordinary. Isit as
dangerous iii New Y ork as the news pa
pers say"
'l-cs, but don't want these goods.
I've got some already that VIII knock
f the spots out of 'crn.~ -'''
"But, my dear, there's no spots on the
goods, assure yah. They arc perfect"
"Well, we'll; suppose we switch Off
ON these goods and try something else"
Certainly" and the Ehslishman, to
tho infinite amusement of the Amcri-
cans friend, called clerk, with a wisp-.
broom, and directed him to'switcIr off,
any dust he could find, while lie proceed
ed to show something else.
There" s1id the Enslishman, tri-
umphantly spreading out another fabric.
there's the liandsomest piece of goods
in England, 'arf n guinea yard sF.' ;
IL can't see it, said his customer.
'Cant see ~ Why, you are looking
straight at it. However, suppose you try
the light of this window
No; l don't mean that" said the
American. IL haven't got the stamps
for such goods"
"Stamps !" no stamps required but
bill stamp, which we are happy to fur
nish' .e
This misunderstanding might hayo
,ntinued longer, had not one of the
younger members ofthe house, seeing
his senior's pcrplcxity, rescued the Ame-
rican and i'put him through" after the
manner Of his couutrymcu. ...
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

PnAcrIcAL EpucArIoN-In the
modern system OF education words.
instead of things, form the great staple.
This needs reform The first thing to
he taught, j, a habit of correct obscrva-
tion and clear reflection without these
words are useless.
Education is preparation for after
life; the child is being fitted for the
duties of the man for mans work and
nian's struggle Ym, in zoe mauy cases,
the youth goes forth to take his part in
the great battle of life without any pre-
vious drilling, or drilled so badly that
he is unfit for the warfare.
AS education is the first concen of
society those who instruct ought to DC
socictys bcst men and women. So I'M
pressed were The Athcnians with this
truth, that the wisest philosophers Of
Athens were the instructors of youth
An ignorant teacher is a sha ...e, and
gross imposition on the public
AS there are so many among us now
assuming the duties of teachers, we com
mend to them these remarks and would
say, strive not only to understand what
the duty of Il teacher is, but learn how
to discharge those duties properly. Ev-
ely body can teach, but few can teach
well
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

.
y New Orlenns wife, left at home one
evening BY her husband, who had ,-busi-
ness down town." accepted a friends es-
cort to the theatre, The fatcs dccreed
that her husband should occupy the pext
seat, with another lady, the occasion OF
his urgent business. AS soon the wife
made the discovery, she leaned over and
whispered viciously;
Charles, who is that huzzy .you have
with you ~
7 e'sisterst9 that fellow you have with
you
There was no need Of further explana-
''''' e7rs EsE -ts.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29
The Remedy From Without Not
.lasA From Mitliim..tl1t 80 70 ,
ss'!s . fS4--s+-ss!,s-lIk < =

ec ssad-saET73 ss3liA .zG0aa8Ql
The first thing mfiEwright will as
certain is, 'from-wllat quHrter stheswater.
to turn his mills&Heef issao come hdSs
high it will rise. and in ehatsdireptio,, it
will flow, and this known, ahe wili'put
his machinery in posi.lona % make tic
watcr.powcr available. And 50, the first
inquiry for the Southern. patriot is,
whence comes our troubles, and whence,
therefore, must como eur renedy?s Is
the remedy within ourselves, OF must we
seek it from withnut2 Now a moincnt,s
reflection will make. itsflear to us, That
our troubles arc inilicrediupon us by tho
Congressional majority, 9ow ind here
after the supremc,aud absolute power in
the Mon, aud oar remedy must come,
therefore, from Congress. either by con-
cilia,ins the present Congressional inaj-
GRITTY, or by contributing towards "its
overthrow, aud the bringing into power
another and friendly Gongressi6iialnmj2
ority of another party. Now We are
going TO state an arparon;lycontradic..
tory proposition, and it's tliis-wc can
both best concilatc the present Con-
grcssonal mnjority. aud best contribute
to its overthrow BY othofs I FOR we cannot
overthrow 'iD b. cnnforioing most thor
onghly to their will, byTdiig exactly as
they bid us do, and by voting exactly as
they bid n$ vote II We will only exc
| cntc all Of their very worst measures to-
wards MS most sincerely and thoroughly.
Instead Of vainly carping Mt the orders of
"ur masters. we may induce remedy
!rnm w,hnut, in the course OF i1ine, by
caus ny the victorS thcms Ives to feel die
wei Ii, of the sword This, or fxe,l
dissemination tn fight again upon the
very first opportunity, " the common
sense OF the situation. Thc,cuurse which
the South, Virginia excepted, has adop
ted up tp this time, wa, ifenntinued.
emily bring IL Pc tllls & e--t2s, sss.lit nf 'rhad.
! - ~ '''' ''''N''>''S P'Nfl'NSS, 'hdS. Ncl,-
2rrSs WILL not get Ia the end ot Recon
s'ructi"n i"r twenty years. To know,
says tlc pno; Nampbell, "to know, is tn
ro"puerou fate To.&ivc point, Gear
tangible point to our hnmily, wea third
time rcp'at, hy wayoi' example of What
sc judge hest tor us to do, that. in
South Guolm4, just AT prcscnt we >i,culd
swamp the present Radical party here,
by using th'ir thunder. We should rum
II black aud w!!itc administration tick CT
ior Congress, and black and " hite tickets
II for the Gcn.ra Assembly And we
must attend mo hicA. We must do this
in ali sincerity, and if such thing be
J possible, with cnshusiasm ijut whether
we can do so ron op'orc OF not, this, or
10 do uothing, ut all, is our policy. Ii
we can't do it, the fuller swim" the
Radicals here and in every Southern
State have, the sooner will the govern
ment of the United States reach the
point, whatever it be, to which it is
tending. ", we OF the South, il is
| very certain, can no more stop its cou sc.
than fly on Il coach wheel can stop the
coach Fuirfcid Wr,M
!
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

LABOR is GENIUs.--When lady
once asked Turner, the celebrated Eng
ilish journalist, what his secret was, he re-
piled 81 have no secret, madam, but
hard work" This il. a secret that many
never learned, and don't learn it. Labor
is the genius that changes the world from
uglincss to beauty, and the greatest curse
to a great blessing.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

a young man of good standing re-
Gently proposed honorable marriage to a
young lady of the West, when he re-
,ceivcd for an answer: w yoe.d 5
"Git out, you feller! Do you think
I'd sleep with a man ? IL tell your
mother :"
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

A miserable specimen Of male man
says that giving tho ballot to women
would not amount to much, for none of
them would admit that they were old
enough to vote until they were too old TO
take any interest in politics,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

A young lndy was alighting from an
omnibus, when ribbon ieAi from her
bonnet to the floor of the stage. %You.
have let your beau behind, remarked u
lady passenger. 4"No, | haven't: he's
gone fishing" innoccntly exclaimed tho
damsel. r- st,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

SINGuLAn CAUSE or DEArAIAls.- Men
sometimes die from very singular causes
y blacksmith in Monticello, n Y. re
Gently put common wooden axle il his
fire to loosen the iron ''thimblc" from its
outer edge, when to his astoushmcut it
blew up, shooting .neged spIintcrs into
his body. Death cn>ucd. 1t happened
thus: The broken axle had been lying
out i'll the rain Tor some time, aud was
pretty thoroughly saturated with wafer.
There is frequently Il considerable cavity
between the thImbIe and the emu OF the
axle. The water had rustcd the bolt
screw al the head OF ihg th;ml!o so as IT,,
render it perfectly tight, and the swell
ing Of the wood had produced similar
effect at the other end When the mois-
ture in the chamber had turned to steam.
and aitcrward to gas in the intense heat,
an explosion WAS the natural result.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

* A Memphis bride abandoned her llls.
band thelmorning after their lmarriag ge
because he refused to send break fast up
to her room.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29
Agricultural.

The following is the report of the
Committee on Fertilizers of Orange
burg Agricultural Society y;,,.
s The Committee on Fertilizers after
careful reflection and some experience.
would respectfully report the following:
lst. That Peruvian Guano with !.and.
fPlas'cr in the proportion of one hundred
and fifty pounds Of puano to fifty pounds
of plaster, is the best application on stiff
clay lands. especially where they have
been rested the previous yoar
I'd. That Dickson's Compound, on
light sandy lands, applied at the rate of
four hundred pounds per acre, is supe-
rior to any used i'll their experience; but
1T Is OF great Importance to have vegeta.
bic matter on the land, such MS would
grow on sandy lands after resting for
one year, by this means you secure pot
ash ou the laud which mikes the Dick
sons Compound almost Il perfect sue
cess
Sd. That Pacific .Guono ;s ,,.o an nv
cellent fertilizer, and with some persons
has cquallcd the Dickson's Comnomd
In usiny any of the fertilizers oro,t 20
gard should be paid to the nature of the
soil. ''<
We rec ,mmcnd that hen planters can
arrange it, they should plant opc-bnlr Of
their land one wear and uso Dickson. ;.
Compound at the rate of four nupdrc1
pounds per acre; the wear nlterw;rds ,o
rest it. and plant the other half ,,n;y
inc tia same ou,nt; y RI ,,. n;.l,a.
Compound.
By ,bus ,,;,c , .,,,.,1o, .,, =,
weeds vii, bo s,.orrl ,,..h L.,,i
,ur,cd ,u,... w;,h .,x., ~ .I.,
f,hc r,Il
d. r.,. i,
~ l'''"' ''''' '''o wv"
~, | u, , -" ",,' '' ''"'' o'' year,
,h; I'm ~: ~ ~ 9"''' "''''
with the ha,,linr Of tyaSl IN rho land :.
the land will u,, kr , bo,yr co,t or ,ro',1.
where the Dickso,'s Con.nouuI has bc,n
used the previous wear
! All Gght s,n,,y I,rul v,,ts ,1,, s;,
,larkencd and ,bcr.. ;s M l,c,,o, ,..., =,
l.inr tbis ,han y, ,,,,,;,,,. .1 EN-
coat of weeds Lc,;l.s ,hn.o.; ,.n.,,,.
,r.,, a,..,i 81 ro,I :, 49,
mrably adapted to pivkson's Co,,nn,,ua
In regard to the Carolina phosnhatcs
the Committee have had but little cyne.
rience and would recommend them in
combination with Peruvian Guam, one
third guano aud two thirds nhospb,te
There arca number of Fertilizers worthy
the consideration of orr nl,p,crs and
we hope by next year, they will be
thoroughly tested. We should by all
means patronizc our home made Fertiliz-
ers II they are good. Noplanter should
plant cotton tn any extent without using
some Fertilizer as it has paid and will
pay well il properly used
We recommend all Fertilizers to be
put six or eight inches in the Ground
and thoroughly mixed in the soil bv !,
plough. by thus doinr it is ri,cca in &,
measure, beyond thc reach of the Grasses
and the plant takes it up when il mos,
needs it,
In the preparation of lands for corn On,
cotton they should be broken deeply and
afterwards they should be cultivated ran.
idv and lightly. excon,inp stiff ol,,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

= The editor of a cotemporary tells his
correspondents that "ir we want any
stupid items VIC can write them ourself."
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1870-01-29

Fire should never be allowed to de-
stroy the grass or weeds on land, but
they should be ploughed under and al-
lowed to rot
w. w. WANNAMAKER,
, Chairman.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-06-16
Number31.

DRRssINEsS IN CHURoH.-Harper's
Bazaar has some reputation in the fash
ionable world, and is free from the
charge of prudery. Yet this fashion
able authority thus denounces the dis
play of dress that is so common IN our
houses Of worship: ''The best people
of every Christian country but Ameri-
ca avoid all personal display when en-
gagged in worship and prayer. Our
churches, on the contrary, are made
places for the exhibition Of fine apparel
and other costly and hattering com
pliances with fashion, by, those Who
boast of superior wealth and manners.
We shall leave our gewgawed devotees
ito reconcile humiliation in worship
with vanity in dress. How far fine
clothes may affect the personal piety
of the deYotee we do not pretend to
even conjecture; but we have very
decided opinion in regard to their in
] fiueaee upon the religion Of others
The fact is that our Churches are full
of fluttering birds of fine feathers that
no sorry fowl will venture in. 1t is i'm
possible for poverty. in rags and patch
es, to take its seat, if it should be so un-
fortunate as to find a place beside of
wealth in brocade and broadeloth.-
The Church being the only place on
this side of the grave designed for
rich and poor to meet together in
equal humility before God, it GER
tainly should always be kept free to all.
1t is SO in most of the churches of
Europe, where the beggar in rags and
wretchedness, and the wealthiest and
most eminent, whose appropriate So
briefly of dress leaves them without
mark of external distinction, kneel
down together, equalized by a com
mon humiliation before the only 'Su-
preme Being.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-06-16

This morning there came to US q
legal gentleman of the city, who, con-
trary to his usual practice, had lost his
temper. Indeed, he seemed so very
much out of humor that we thought
something out of the usual course
very far out-had transpired to trouble
him. Said the gentleman, and he said
it very briskly, and as if he meant it:
al want you to give those baggagemen
thunder"
The gentleman surprised US; we at
tempted to explain to him that baggage
men were on the whole pretty good
set of fellows--thst they had their trials
and grievances like the rest of man
kind, and that if they occasionally lost
their. temper it was not entirely their
fault; but the legal gentleman broke
in upon us with the exclamation that
he didn't care about their temper
"They are a confounded stupid pack,
and they ought to be kicked, every one
of them"
We stopped him as soon as we could,
and then asked him what under the sun
was the matter.
"I'll tell you," he said, land then il
you don't say that l owe those bag
gagemen a grudge for the trouble their
carelessness has caused me, I'll not say
another word"
"a few days ago 1 had my valise
packed and went off to Madison to at
tend case. Upon returning my va
lise was given me by the baggage
master-ths internal scoundrel--and
went home. Ny wife desired to take
it to look after my clothes, but as there
were some important papers in the va
| lise I said she must wait. Now, when
ever / had returned before, she alwayl
took it from me as I went in, and
| woman-like, she seems to have though
there was secret about the valise-
confound the baggage-man. Well, jus
as quick as my back was turned, Of
went the valise to the chamber, ant
into it went my wifs's fingers. Tel
minutes later there was scream echo
ing through the house that would hay
aroused a night-watchman from hi
dreams. l rushed up stairs, and wha
J do you suppose I saw-confound th
baggage-man! There was my Wit
stretched on the floor in Mysteries, an
!, there was my valise wide open on th
floor, and showing very plainly the fo
! lowing table of contents:
"An empty whisky bottle.
"Two packs of cards. .
4 photographs of four young ladis
that ought to be ashamed Of then
selves.
ga lady's shawl.
IA whole apothscary's shop on
small scale.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-06-16

PROUD MEN.-A proud man is a fool
in fermentation, swells like porridge
pot. He sets his feathers like an owl,
to swell and seem bigger than he is.
He is troubled with an Inflammation of
self-conceit, that renders him the man
of pasteboard, and a true buckram
knight. He has given himself sYmpa-
thetic love powder, that works upon
him like dotage and transforms him
into his own mistresses' most passion
ate court, his own dear perfections, and
worshiping spongy substances, occupy
ing much space, as cotton will stuff
cushions better than things of perfect
and solid proportions. e5
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-06-16
:Dow's FLAT.

aH t1l: =
BY F. BRET HART.
Dow's Flat That's Its name,
And reckon that you
Are strangerf The sameS
We'll, I thoughtit was true
For thar isn't man on the river as can't spot
the place at first view.
It was called after Dow
which the ssme was an ass
And as ths how
Thet the thing KEN to pass
Just de up your hoss to that buckeye, and sit ye
down here in the grass:
You see this yer Dow
Hedrhe worst kind Of luck;
he slipped up somehow
On each thing thet he struck.
Why. ef he'd straddied thet fence rail the
dsrH'd thing'ed get up and buck.
He mined on the bar
Till he couldn't pay rates; -s.--
He was smashed by car
when he tunneied with Bates;
And right on the top of his trouble kem his wife
and i've kids from the States.
1t was rough-mighty rough;
But the boys they stood by,
And they brought him the stun
For house, on the sly;
And the old womsn-weil. she did washing. and
took on when no one was nigh.
But this yerluck of Dow's
Was SO powerful mean
That the spring near the house
Dried right up on the green;
And he sunk forty feet down for water, but nary
drop to be seen,
Then the bar petered out,
And the boys wouldn't stay
And the chills got about,
And his wife fell away;
But Dow, in his well. kept peggin' in his usual
ridikilous way.
Cne day-it was June
And year ago. jest
This dow kem at noon
To his work like the rest,
With shovel and pick on his shoulder, and
derringer hid in his breast.
He goes to the well,
And he stands on the brink,
And stops for spell
Jest to listen and think;
For the sun in his eyes Gest like this, sir,j you
see kinder made the cuss blink.
His two ragged gals
In the gulch were at play,
And gownd that was Sal's
Kinder tapped on q bay;.
Not much for a man to be leavin'. but his alias
I've heer'd the folks say.
And-that's peart hess
Thet you've got-ain't it nowf
What might be her costf
Ehs Oi-well then, Dow
Let's see-well, that forty foot grave wasn't his,
cir. that day, anyhow.
For blow Of his pick
sorter caves in the side,
And he looked and turned sick,
Then he trembled and cried,
For YOU see the dern cuss haG struck-"Wa.
ters"-beg your parding, young man, there
you liedi
nwas goblin the quartz.
And 1t ran all alike;
And reckon five oughts
Was the worth Of that strike;
And that house with q coopilow's his'n-which
the same isn't bad for Pike.
Thets why it's Dow's Flat
And the thing of it is
That he kinder got that
Through sheer contrariness:
For twas scates the derned euss was seekn', and
hisluck made him certain to miss.
Thet's so. Thar's your way
To the left OF the tree;
But-a-lookinyur sayf
Won't you come up to tear
Nor Well, then the next time you're passin'
and ask after Dow-and that's me.
-(From the Overland Monthly for June.