Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-11-18
CURRENT ITEMS.

VISIONARY FRuIT.-The apple of the
eye. 45sa "'
THE Right Sort of Child to adopt y
Roths-child.
SOMETHING You are Sure to Have at
Your Fingers Ends-Nails.
SANDUsKY has found child which was
lost for seven years. @'ir -
THE BEST MARRIAGE GIFT-A policy
in the Washington Life. , eetc j.
If you are behind the times, season your
dinners with ketchup.
I A woMAN's tears soften a mans heart;
her batteries his head. saa g W
VIRGINIA has voted to furnish wooden
legs to MANNED Confederate soldiers.
THE annual production of spirits in the
United States is stated at 1862, 900 gal
Ions.
PROVIDE for old age and infirmity by in
suring in the Mutual Life Insurance Com
pany, of Chicago. 4.. l. lIl,, ism b
A PIECE of land for sale in London is
advertised as equally suitable fora church
or tavernp p-3-.' L '' 49,
GIVE me some headache and family
/ fight" is a modern call for a glass of
whisky and bitters. 49,.
ONE often reads of people trying to
make ropes of sand. Do they require them
to keep the ocean tide?
WHEN Punch printed "1ow to build
houses for nothing-Use FreestOne do
you think he forgot the Freemasons P
Judy. ,a,, rs,,.v ~;,.2 +. isf~ ts.bs,
A MARYLAND farmer refused the use of
his horse for funeral, and the indignant
friends of the deceased tarred and feath-
ered hlm.i Il j<gi bfeI YsbggsS Go ga'
SEVERE ON THE DRUG CLERK. - Seroant
-" Please, sir, missus says you will please
take a teaspoonful Of That prescripshun be-
fore | brings it home to her." 10 G0s9tas
A MOUSE walking across Wall street,.N.
Y. city, on telegraph wire was sufficient
to attract crowd Of brokers recently, who
cheered the plucky little Blondin. T =
| A New HAVEN widower didn't consult
with his children about bringing home a
new wife, and they fired the. house to show
their grit. t'''o
MANY persons write articles and send
them to an editor to be corrected-as If an
EDITORS Office was house of correction. ;
I A. FELLOW about to be sentenced to
death stopped the roundabout legal formula
of the court with, "Never mind the btu
airy Judge, let go on with the funeral"
"How odd it is" said Pat, as he trudged
along on foot one hot sultry day, that
man never meets a cart going the same way
he is" -Ezai9.
Two friends, some years married and
widely separated, lately exchanged tele-
grams thus. '@ro ----y All well. We
have two pairs of fitwins. How is that for
high ?" ".To ----. We have three little
girls.u- Three Of kind beat two pair 4"
~ DIR. RANKIN, physician at the Pennsyl-
Fvania Western Penitentiafy, reports that
not single death occurred in that instltu-
ton during the year. There are. between
four and FIVE hundred inmates.
AN absent-minded man, in Camden, Ill,
found his cow-be in the road, put it IN
his pocket, and started to hunt up his COW.
The bell occasionally tinkled. He follow
ed the sound, and did not discover hism mis-
take until he dad walked some twenty
miles. 3e g4f-7 t.ee bgYara8 IS
\ A SHORT time since, lad in Ports
mouth, N, H., in attempting to separate
two woroosterslwhe were fighting, came near
losing his eyes. 4 The roosters turned on
him and tore sonle. pieces of flesh from his
face, and it was with difficulty that they
could be driven away. ~ ws IN msa
AT the recent session of the Unitarian
Conferencein New York, Mrs Julia Ward
Howe asked why reference was constantly
made to the g brethren never to the
Sisters, The Rev. Robert Laird Collier
! replied that he would answer as Metho-
dist parson didto similar question; ''The
d reason is because the gentlemen embrace
the ladies. e.dss 7as KS. sass IA
II In eight States of the Union, according
to the census of 1860, the female popula
tion, was in excess sof the male. These
Statesswere New York, New Jersey, Mary
land, Massachusetts, New Hampshire