The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-04-22
HUMORs OF THE DAY.


"a kman advertises a clock tor sale
keeps time like a taX-gathcrcr.
why is a windy orator like whale
Because he often rises to spout.
why is Il cows tail like a swans /
bcsom? Because il grows down
a Curious Fact-The prices asked /
by modiStC are seldom modest pri- /
Ces.
Why is Il saddle like a centaur? Be-
cause its between man and horse.
Gone, sheer off," as the ram said
TO the man who was cutting of his
wool.
An old gamekeepcr says tina: with
out the dcd5' ladies we should be in a
state of sf0g-naticn.
a Question for Excursionists-Do
picnic parties usually lay out their
dinners OH n piece of tablc-land
Fast Young men SIN oHe a great deal,
for it is the nature of rake to have
quantity OF weeds about it.
The orator who carried away his
audience is affectiOnately and hui
namely requested TO bring it back.
Hurry, mammal" said little in
Hocrnt with his finger cut; hurry,
it's leaking.
4 man Oui at the elbows was asked
10 quote Shakespeare. He replied
that hc would rather be coated him
sell.
What ar, on doing :" said faith
er IL his son, who was tinkCTing an
old watch. "lmprOving my time,
was the rcjuindcr.
Mrs. Purtin@tOn considers that wash
cr-womcu are particularly silly people
to attempt to catch soft wafer when ii
rains hard.
'.Oh, dear, said fashionable girl,
when she first Uchcld II cucumber,
always thought such things grew III
slices -
Il would have YOU know that am
Il man Of quality, said a marquis TO a
financier. And, |, replied the finan-
cicr, lam II man ofquantity.'
\ Young lady lately dismissed lAr
beau for wearing a SRNlCrtiuity of
beard and Whiskers. ; said lac was
great deal o hir$UtcSo suit her
The young lady who was perfectly
thunderstruck at hearing of her
friends engagement, has since been
provided with lightning conductor
"Soldirrs must be fcarfulIy disbon-
est, says Mrs. Darlington, ''as it seems
to be an occurrence every night for Il
sentry to he relieved Of his watch y
A crusty old bachelor says than
Adams wife. was called Eve because
when she appeared mans day OF hap
pimess was drawing to Il close.
4 German being required to give 4
receipt in full, after much mental eff
fort, produced the following:
81 ish full. | wants no more mon
ish. JOHN SWACHANMER.
4 fUp III company wanting his SER
want, called out, " Where's that block
head of mine :"
y lady present answered, On Your
shoulders, s'r.'
An editor thus Iudicrously describes
primitive church: " No velvet Gu sh-
ions in our ews; VIC don't 90 in for
style. The kpersom has tho soft
est seat, and 18th him at
'hc close OF SCI -
Some amusing Instances Of ''iacS
letters are given by Mr.. Seton in RIs
Gossip about Letters and Letter
Writers" Says Lord Berkeley to the
Duke of Dorset: My dear Dorset
l have just been married, and am the
happiest dog alivc.-Berkley. And
gets for answer: my dear Berkeley
Every dog has his day dorset"
A young fellow at college wrote to
his uncle, OH whom he entirely de-
pended: My dear Uncle-Ready for
the needful.-YOur afIectiOnatc Ne
phew." The uncle replied: Ny dear
Nepnew-The needful is not ready
Your affectiOnate Uncle 1t is pleas
ant that affection should survive pc
cuniaTy CmbarrasSments, as 1T did i'll
the case of Samuel Foote's mother
and himself: d" My dear SAM am in
prison for debt come and assist your
loving mothcr.-E. FOote." Dear
Mothcr-So am ; which prevents his
duty being paid to his loving mother
bv her atlCctiOnatC son, Sam Foote."
An English nObleman was deeply i'll
love with LADY fair" He met her
one evening at Il crowded ball, and rs
he could not get an OppOr unity of
talking to her, he contrived to slip into
her hand piece of paper with the
two words, will YOU +" written upq
il. The reply was equally briCt
Wont | - One would think than
correspondence could scarcely be
made more laconic tina bis; but the
impossible has been achieved. Bro.
Smith of Leeds, anxious to learn any
news his friend and fellow-quakcr,
Bro. Brown, of Sheffield, might have
To communicate, sent him II quarto
sheet with point of interrogation
inscribed in the centre. Brother
Brown replied by sending sim
liar shec OH which nothing whatever
aDpcarcd