The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-03-31
HUMOROUS.


Tort since.
4 hoy eight years o'd,iQ one Of our pub
lie schools, having been told that reptile
/ i an animal dat creeps, on beng asked
. to name one on examination day, promptly
aui triGDlhauIy replied, "a baJy.
Eixille Young Bachelor making call. J
~ c.i, Ma,ter sel, you don't know sho
am
Zoo Candid ourg EIoreful-"Oh but
do though! Your the chap ma says
YOU'D he .GeH goy-. Zach Tor cur Mary. +
- IJJ,eau.
Narse-"Daty, going to have her frat
birthday 10 LIOIr0w.
kiuy-''Aud we'll have it for tea won t
We, nurse?'
Georee-''What non.ensel Birthdays
ere not TO eat. They re to pay with. My
iast one was rocking horse.
The following is verbatim report Of
conversation which recently took place be-
tween father and his model child:
Father-"My son, which would you
rather DO, learn hymn or eat a bun
Mode Son (who had been questioned
before Father, l would rather learn a
h! ma.
ra;hor-"Then, my son you shall have
Two buns,
Al nobby children's ball in New York,
where he ages ranged from two to fourteen
years, the little things were decked out in
The putis, panlers and trIlls OF their elders,
with powdered or diamond busted hair and
solItalre diamonds. The boy babies retired
TO smoke between the dances, and offered
HI -,,,,,
pocket TASKS Of Old rye.
The father of Dorabella recertIy found
that little CIR. chubby little hands iull OF
b ossouIs OF beautiful tea rose on which
lie had bestowed great care My dear,
h sold didn't | tell you not to rick one OF
those flowers without lGuvC! ~ es papa,
satd D0TaDel.a, 'Dut these had leaves.
\ ice sleeps in a crib, so low hat placing
one foot on The inside OF II, she can easily
spring in. \ few eTenugs since, her moth
Ct was attending her TO bed, when she
>lil: Mamma do you know how | get TO
BID 50 anick p No, was the reply
''WcI!, SAID Alice, N great gicc, Il step
one foot over the crib, and then l say rats.
aud scare myself night in
A sentimental boy says he prefers hang
ing on to the neck 10 hanging By the neck;
bat that both are dangerous.
\ marrying bachelor anxiously asks if it
would be of any use to attempt to make
love TO young lady after one has stood on
her dress till he could hear the gathers rip
at her waist.
A lover wrote thus to his sweetheart:
Detachable darling, you are so dulcct that
honey would blush in your presence and
tyeacls stands appalled,. -
4 young lady IN Philadelphia advcrtises
that she viii give $50, 900 10 any respect
atie young man who viii marry her.
"fIow is your wife to day ?" said friend
to a French gentleman. oh, moche de
sem, said be, she is no better, and | am
'traid yer little waas. If she is Gon to die
| wish she would do it soon. | feel so un-
happy-my mud Is so mochc inset tel
Ven she die, shall not be 50 muche dis
satisfied -
\ blooming widow of thirty six called at
the probate Office i'll an Ohio town and
asked for marriage license, Her husband
that was to be was only eighteen and so
bashtul.
A dead beat-one pulled out Of the ground.
Every bird pleases US with its lay
especially the hen.
The most impetuous people in the world
the Rush ons.
What nation produces most marriages :?
FasCl nation.
Why is there no life in alcohol? Because
il is still-Loru.
Be conteh'cd with your lot pccially if
il is on corner.
The hest time 10 take medicinc-whcn
the dl0gAls t is out.
Why is drunkard Ike tanner? Be-
cause ne sOaAs his hide.
General Contributing on three or four
girls a the same time.
lie who pets every barking dog must
pick up great many stones.
A fellow in Donbury, Conn. boasts of
moustache nlne inches III length.
Ga maids are described as the LENDERS
from which the sparks have fed. >
y lIan LltNGr Hiui>tll III 10 20 higher
who shows that he is faithful where he is
When pretty girl falls in love with a
lucky lrishman her heart always goes pity
Fat.
Be deaf TO the quarrel ,ome, blind to the
sooner, and dumb to those who are mis-
chlevousiy lnqmsltlve.
Things should not be done by halves.
If 1t be right do it boldly; if it be wrong,
leave 1t undoue.
If you respect yourself as much as you do
others you vii be as careful to do nothing
mean when alone, as IN company.
"What is whisky bringing p inquired
dealer. bringing women and children 10
want, was the appropriate answer.
Young ladies' who faint on being propos~
cd To may be readily restored by whisper
ms in their ears that you were only joking.
The d ference between fool AMI look
ing gas, THAT one speaks without reflect.
in-, and the olEer reflects without speak
ing
The dearest spot on earth is home,
tho .trttr tasufr ta4rAraA barr.r sovC