The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1870-02-16


its Local. NEWS, and we beg our friends to
forward for publication any and oil Items
coming Il or their observation.
.- --:-,-:---.--
pHRsoNAL.--The Rev. Mr.. Rudo, tho very
excellent editor Of that no less excellent
church paper, tho Lutheran aud Visitor,
gracrd our SNnctum on Monday afternoon.
The visit was pleasant ono US VIC found tho
Reverend gentleman no less entertaining than
Intelligent and kind. Tho Lutheran aud
Visitor he tells us is gaining largely In sub
scrbers, and It Is gratifying to learn this, for
i Is II good paper. twas our pleasure nlso
10 hear him preach at Beth Eden Church OH
Sunday morning last.
Had HIM on THE ll1r.-"rhe unkindcst
cut Of all, "and yet not unkind but only truo.
And had the queriSt not unfortunately been
troubled with tho penny disease, which
breaks so many men, thero had been no
necessity for the cut:
"Why don't you trade with mc?" said
cloSc>fStcd tradcsman to friend tho other
day. Tho reply was characteristic: "You
have never asked mo sir. l have looked all
through the papers for an invitation iu tho
shape Of an advertisement, and found mono.
never so where am not invited.
RESPECTFULLY DECLINED. Some time
since NC advertised for a louS noscd indi.
vidual to do our collecting. We have just
had an application for the situation from n
chap WHO says his nose is so large that it
requires gun powder to blow it. lie says
also that it is turnip (surn.up), that hc has
carroty hair, and radisl (rcdish) eyes, and
altogether quite vegetable countcnance.
We don't want him, wouldn't have him at
any price; report from his nasal organ
would friGhten lbe babies too carly in the
morning, for Of course he'd expect to be
boarded, aud his countcnancc would be a
scandal oil the time. No, friend we don't
want you, We arc afraid the remedy would
DC worse than the disease, would ra,hcr let
a few delinquent subscribers off altogether,
than endure the sight Of such phiz rs yours
is. Pray remain on your own dunglill.
Don't ABUSE YOUR PR1v1LEaEs.--
"Therc's reason in roasting eggs" and in
Eating thin too" adds Pat, for both may be
abused. " ith those highly nutritious sphc.
riodal productions Of the female bildy chick
ems VIC have nothing just now TO do however,
but simply mako quotation Of the familiar
adagc to prove that there is reason in all
things. We like to give even the devil his
w hn
good. and II hc happens to transcend his
privileges. and we hear of it, we'll even haul
him oYc- the GOALS. Quite lately We took oc-
cason to compliment our new police force
through tile intcndnnt and wardens, on its
efficient and prompt discharge of duty. This
week wo respectfully ask them to be careful
lest In fit Of over & nlousness they strain at
knat and swallow camel. On Saturday a
Quot md well behaved young man had the
strong arm Of municipa. law laid violently on
him, simply because his mare, young skit-
tish thing, in scare placed two of her feet
on the side walk, and In his endcavor to get
her off had his foot painfully trod upon. His
hurt was compound, the mare and marshall
both contributing. We are rcjpiccd at hay
Ing an efficient police, one ever on tho alert,
but beg thcm to discriminate between wilful
and accidental violations of ordinances, and
rciteratc that there Is reason in roasting eggs
: LACE WORK.-It cost a Delaware mnn
two dollars TO Innrry three wives.
Young girls are employed as lamp-lightcrs
in Buffalo.
Bismarck says that but for his wife he
should have been in his grave long ago.
The prctIicst girl IN California rises every
morning at O'Clock, and miks three cows
before break fast.
young woman Of Indiana kccps twenty
seven engagement rings hung up 10 her bou.
doir. the spoils Of five years
Make note of this, ye "baclcs."
=, Michigan wife lately told her husband
thath he didn't suit, and he left unconcerncd!y.
like hired man no longer wanted.
Naomi, the daughter Of Enoch, wa, not
married until she was five hundred and cioht
years old Don't despair, old gals-somc
hope yet
a Tennessee girl, In order to make sure
th1nS OF 1t, allowed two young men to take
out license to marry her She probably
Kept her matrimonial books on tho double
entry system.
You bachelors ought to be taxed" said q
iady to rcsolutc eyudcr Of the moose mat
rImonnl; 81 agree with you perfectly,
ma am, was the reply, ''for bachclorism
certainly is q luxury"
y confirmed bachelor has ground ont the
1oho"lng, which he calls the origin of sleep
When man was M ode, It puzzled Satan much
How Adam = soul and body hs could win
30 lie invented woman; and with such
sou! endowed her, she was sure to ain.
And once get Adam underneath her thraIl,
Satan was certain both ofthem would fall
But then another difficulty rose.
How to get Adam to accept his bride!
his he overcame, MS everybody knows
By sending him to sleep; then by his side
i,laced Eve. For Satan knew this rnuch of Ii6e.
hat wide awake, he'd never take wife.
Index to New Advertisements.
Look out for the Elephant, the dromedaries.
polar bears horned horse, laughing hyena, silver
lions, tigers, lcopards, black bears grey wolves,
ichnt'mons, ant eaters, badgers, musk hog, occ-
lot, gyascutus, &c, which will be exhibited hero
on the 22d. Also the Mexican juveni lie gymnasts,
and Miss Louisa Reynolds the beautiful and ac-