Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1870-01-27
NO. 81.
JOSH BILLIses' PAPERS -FEMALE Re-
dARRs- Dear Girls are yu in sareh ov q


husband?
This IL pumper, and yusare not re-
.quired tew say YES out loud, but are
expedited tew throw your eyes down onto
the earth, az tho yu waz looking for pin;
aud reply few the intcrrogatory with q
kind Of drauling sigh, as tho yu was
eating an oyster, Juice and ALL. off from
the halt shell.
Not tcw press SO, tender a theme until
it bekums thorn in the flesh, we will
presume (tew avoid arguneuD that yn
are on the lookout for ssumthing in the
male line tew boost va in the up bill oy
life, and tew keep bis eyes onthe briich-
ing when yu begin tew go down the other
side ov the mountain. Let me give you
sum small chunks ov advice how tew spot
| yure fewter husband: = 81
l.. The man who IL jellous ov little
| attenshun which w git from som other
fellow. yu will find after w are married
| to him, luvsa himself. more then he dug
| VI, and what yu .nistook for solissitude,
yu will diskover has changed into indlff-
erence.z Jealousy isn't heart diseaze,
it is liver complaint
/ / A mustacA is not Indispensable; it
/ IL only a little more hair. and IL a good
deal like moss and other excresseuces--i
| often duz the best ON sile that won't raize
| ennything else. Don't forgit that, those
things which yu admire in a phellow be-
fore marriage yu will probably hav tew
admire in husband after, and mas
tash will git tew be very weak diet after a
/ long time - if n
| 8 IF husbands could be took on trial,
az Irish cooks are, two thirds OF the m
wauld probably be turned but there don't
seem tew be emmy law for this Thar efor.
girls, yu vii see that after yu git a man,
yu hav gottew keep him, even if yu loos
on bin. Consequently. if yu hav got
euny koil vities, in the hoas, try. him on
them, once in a while, during securing
season, aud if he swallers them well, and
ses he will take some more, he il man
Who. when blue Monday Gums, will wash
| aell ~. ..
Don't marry a phellow who IL alwl'z
tel ing how hiz mother daz things 1t
q az hard to suit theze men az it IL to
wean young one.
5. liza yuug man kan beatyu7 playing
OK. pianner, and kaat hears a fsh horn
playing in the street without turning
Lack sunimersett on account of the nlusick
that IL in him say ship him; he might
answer tn tend babe but lyu set li-h hoe
lug out the gafden.yu will fnd that ju hay
got tew do it yuself. A man whose whole
heft lies III musick (aud not very heffy
at that amt no better for a husband than
seedlitz powder Lut; if he luvs to listen
while WI slug sum gentle ballad, yu will
hndtl iiI mellow and not soft. But don't
mary emmy boldly for jist one virtew, emmy
quicker than yu would flop man for jist
one fault;
8 1t is oy the most 'tuifest things for
female tew be an old maid successfully.
a great menny hez tried it and made a
had Job ov it. Evryboddy seems to lo'k
upon cid maids jist ezYthey 40 upon dried
herbs-irath garnet, handysfor sickness
and therefore, girls. it aia'ta mistake that
yu should DO willfh to swop ynrseif oph
with some trew phellow for husband.
The swep, is q good one, but don't sgop
for envy man who il respekted jlst be-
Klaus his father il. You had better be.
| au old maid for f. thousand years, and
then join the Shakers, than tew buy
.pentance at this preice. No wem an ever
made this trade who didn't git either a
i :phooi;; a mean cuss, or clo.p, for a
| husband. #. =. 2; sse 7
r. In digging down into this sabject
Gnd tie liging grows harder the further
! / git Ii is matchs easier tew inform W
! W BIO not .tew marry than who tew. for the
reason thare il more of them. =
i I don't think yu viii fol!er mi advise,
/ III civ it and therefore, | will keep il.
for / look upon advise as i do upon castor
i ile-a mean dose to give, and mean
dose to taee. -
But must say one thing, girls, or
soile. IF yu can find a bright eyed,
Ehe4lthy and we'll Ealasted fop who looks
upon poverty az sassy as a child looks
i anon wealth-who had rather sit down on
The curb-stan, in front of the 9Th avenu.
i hotel. and eat ham sandwhic than tew
50 Inside and run in debt for his dinner
and too.hpick-one who IL arlhed with
that kind ov pluck that mistakes a defeat
for victory, mi advise IL tew take him,
BODY and soul-snare him at ounst, for
he IL stra trout, of breed very skas in
our waters. \. Take him. | say, and bid
i onto him. as hornets bid onto treo.
--------- :. . $500 $3.50 -
i How. often do moderate, drinkers take
refuge. when demonstrated with it in the
assertions: 5'I can take a drink, and let il
alone. / know when | get enough.