The Placer herald., 1870-10-01
TERENCE McGRANT.
All Quiet THE Reason Ere Ling Hyson De-
clined the English Mission -.Another Bad
Speculation.

LogG BRANCH, Sptimber Sivcn.
MlsTHER prM1IEaY. Things are getting
moighty quiet here entirely, and unless some
thing happens soon to make life endurable,
me cousin says he shall go back to business
at Washington. The paple are narcly all
gone, the hotils are closing, their bars are
closed, and we can't get dhrinl outside our
own house for love or money, and we have
more love for dhrink than we have for mon
ey Barring the funeral me Cousin Ulisses
attended at Corbin's, in Elizabeth, he has
not had any rale enjoyment since me lasht
lethcr, and he didn't same 10 have so good
time at that Us lie had Anticipated, because
it was long time between drinks, and he
couldn't shmo<e until it was all over He
says he hopes TO more Of his rilatiyes will
be afiher dying, unless it is some wan that
howlds an Office that can be filed be an out
sider that is willing to pay raysonable com
pcnsation for the appointment.
Ye mind me cousin appointed not long
snice to the English mission a New Jersey
Chnaman named Ere Ling Hyson, and soon
after he declined the appointment. Its
moghty lucky for ovid Hyson that he de-
clined, and left the Office open for another
bidder, or before this lie would have been
aneshted for receiving goods under false pre-
lenses. The blaggard. III tell zez how it
was. About twevemonth since Ere Ling
Hyson presented me Cousin Ulsses wild a
paid up life insurance policy, for flrty tous-
and dollars, or such a mathcr, on the under
shtanding that me cousin should give him
eny office that he should ask for that moight
become vacant in year. So, as he had
contract to that effect, and me cousin couldn't
get out Of it, he had to appoint the dirty
old spapeen to the English mission,
though the Office is worth many times more
than he paid. Why, me Cousin Ulisses
could put that Office up at auction and sell
it for larger amount, but his inherent hon
esty would not permit him to be afther do
ing it, seeing that Hyson had a recate for it
in me cousins Handwriting So he was
obliged to appoint him. But, so We mind,
jist pravous to the time for him to sail for
England, life insurance agent came to me
cousin and presented bill for the Uranium
ON his life insurance policy, and he ,canted
The cash. bad luck till hm
Me cousin towled the agent that he had
been informed that it was paid up policy,
but the agent said Fre Ling Tyson had only
paid up for a year. Then me cousin towld
the man to cancel the pocy, and lie would
take the chances Of dying and leaving lis
family destitute. The man said he was
glad Of it, because the Company bad been
talking it over, and had concluded that it
was too risky, as man who mixed his IL
quors like me cousin did, was liable to die
at opx- mo, ,,op+ fIhfu frirb +ano1 mo cot,-ir
an now you can't hire him to drink ony
thing but fishky shtraight, and Bridget and
meself, who have no SUR fear of dying, are
drinking up the fancy 4aipxs in the cellar
So, at me cousins suggeMn, Ere Ling Hy-
son declined, and the office is once more on
the market From remark me cousin
made, ! think if could manage to raise ff-
teen hundred dollars, could get the ap
pointment meself He would let me have it
chaper than onybody, because he loves quiet,
and the presence of mcself and Bridget APP
pears to agitate him sometimes, our style is
so different from his, and our appetites are
so generous, and provisions are SO high.
How it would make ovid England quake
to have America sind live Fanyan to the
Court of St. James. Och, murdher, bat
the Alabama claims would be settled aisily.
Me cousin and meself have been villain
ously sold since me lasht letter be a gentle
man in New York. Me cousin received a
circular from gntleman there, which said
he would give me cousin the mosht illegent
opportunity to make money that liver ony
man had, if he would only be discreet and
kape it to hinsclf. The circular said the