The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-03-31
WIT AND HUMoh- \


his sweetheart honey When she is
bee loved,
--- Mica girls who attend the Presi
aential levees think Father Grants
style Of kissing them too boisterous.
- A hop on the Eight fantastic toe
may be pleasant, but not when you hop
Oh the fantastic toe of your ncighbor,
---"What Is the cause Of that hell
ringing" inquired William Il think
that somebody has pulled the rope
said John.
~ Western editor, in response to q
subscriber who grumtIas that his paper
is intolerably damp, says; That's be,
cause there is so much due on it."
- PHacis lie smole = ghastiy
smile" and ",Ia,y wink he wunk,'
have been initiated by minstrel wit,
who said. lie sneczed snooze, and
said snoze' It"
49, To cure dyspepsia Close all the
outer doorsor q four story house open
the inner doors, and then take q long
switch and chase cat up and down
stairs till she sweats.
- Papa; "velI, my dear, did you
tell mamma that Miss Myrtle was wait
ing to see herr Child: YES, papa
Papa "And What did she SAY 2" "She
said, What bo,her!"
"A moral debating society ont Wcst
is engaged III the discussion Of the fol
lowing question; :" II man deserts
his wife, which is the most abandoned,
! the man or the woman"
-"Docto'," said 4 Departing Natien,
to one Of our physicians, l AN in
dreadful state can neither lay or set
what shall I do2" "Why, then" re
piled the doctor, very srayeIy, Il think
you had bet,cr-roost.'
AT a. teachers institute in Ohio,
recently, lady teacher. was given the
word 'hazardous' to spell and define,
and did it in this style "i.a-z, haz,
III 4, ard, hazard, e-double-s, ess, haz
ardess---a female hazard
"A Montana vigilance committee
caught very obnoxious character, set
him on his mule, and told him he had
precisely fifteen minutes to leave tho
country in He replied. F" Gents, il
this mule don't balk, nye'll answer"
--- In reply to the objections Of the
counsel for the defense Virginia JUS
Lice said he didn't care about "consc-
cutions, and would try dc case any
how, aud il dcy didn't have satisfac-
ton, dey could repeal his eXcision.'
- Husband: AT were to lose you,
wouli never be such q fool as to
marry again" Wife at I were t,
lose you, would marry again, direct
w." Husband: "My death would be
regretted 10y at least one person"
Wife; "By whom" Husband: "My
successor
-. Madam" said polite traveller to
an old lady, "if see ct to help myself
to this milk, is there any impropriety
in t?' Il don't know what you mean
but if yon mean to say that there is
anything nasty in that milk, FL give
you to understand You've struck the
wrong house. There amt q single hair
/ in it. for IS soon as Dorothy told me
the cat was drowned in the milk, went
aud strained it right over
a darliey returning from church
was asked to give an account Of tho
: sermon. "Well, sab, de sermon was
: pom de miracle Of de loaves aud de
| fishes. De minister said how der was
seven thousand leaves aud FIVE thous,
and fishes divided tween de twelve
'postles." "Wtll, what miracle was
there about that: 2" "Why, sab; do
miracle was dcy didn't bust OATS my
:. perception Of de circumstance.
t - Some musical Texans, wishing to
G compliment one of their lady friends,
i repaired to her residence, and soon
/ strains Of fairy.liko music stole upon
!, The balmy air After going through q
8 choice programme, vocal and instru-
I. mental, a seGond-story window was
). raised, and the face Of one Of Aries
l 1dark-hued daughters protruded. see
e here" said she, "rissis Amt here, but
won't you please play the 'Moekin'
, Bird for me?"
o 49, Sir John Lubbock. in hrs obser
vations Of the Indians Of South Amer
|. lea, gives curious trait in some of the
:, tribes. He says hat the kiss which VIC
p think so natural is unknown to sons
;. of the tribes. There are some who
t stand positively in fear of it. Wher
4 one attempts TO embrace them, they
1 regard it as evidence of desire to ea
;. them, as a mode of tasting them
. "What PITY" adds brute, shat thi
). distrust OF kissing does not prevail to
k greater extent among the so called civ