Middletown transcript., 1870-02-26
OLD BACHELORS.

Father Hyacinthe, in his lecture in New
York, held forth upon the duty of men
and women to marry. His animadversions
upon the single state could scarcely have
given umbrage to the spintscrs of his au-
dience, who are prevented by the usages
of civilization from taking any steps to
alter their condition. No doubt he de-
signed his reprehensions for the benefit of
the bachelors, whose choice of celibacy
has made them recognized game for satir-
lists, moralists, and sometimes for gover-
ments, from time immemorial.
1t seems as if society, from the earliest
times, had oonspired to persecute and
torment those whose own condition is
sufficiently miserable. Various nations
have passed laws to deprive bachelors of
their cherished freedom. The ancient
Persians held that they could not 60 to
Heaven hereafter, perhaps, because they
had shown no appreciation of happiness
here. The Laccdemonans not only pun
ished those who abstaincd altogether from
matrimony, but if they deferred it beyond
a certain period, they were obliged once
every winter to run round the market
place in most fantastic guise, singing
song ridiculing themselves, and, on "A GER
tain solemnity, the women were allowed
to drag them round an altar, beating them
all the time with their fists. Before the
era of Roman luxury and extravaganza,
no laws were necessary to encourage mat
rimony but, after that period stringent
measures we're adopted. They would not
allow bachelors to give evidence in courts
of justice, and the first question asked by
the Judge was, Upon your faith, have
you a wife," They even extorted an
oath from bachelors that they would mar
nv with all convenient speed they levied
fines upon those who continued contuma-
cous they ordained that the married
magistrates and patrcians should have the
prccedency of such of the same rank as
were unmarried, So heavy were the
taxes laid by Augustus upon the bachelors,
that the Roman knights presented most
pressing petition to relax the severity of
the law. In reply, the Emperor ordered
the whole body Of knights, married and
unmarried, to appear before him, when,
having arrayed them in separate parties,
he made most complimentary address to
the married knights, but rated the baohe-
lors roundly, declaring that their crime a
mounted to all other crimes put together,
and increasing the penalties upon these
unhappy men, some of whom, however,
were so incorrigiblc that they even mar
ried children in the cradle, so as to fulfill
the letter of the law, and at the time es-
cape the expense of the matrimonial condi-
ton If the Emperor had, at the same
time, punished female extravaganza, he
would have given the world a better idea
of Roman justice, and struck more effec-
tual blow at the source of the evil
1t is impossible to justify such treat
ment Of these solitary men, who pass
through life without friend; who have
no homes, except lodgings, with window
curtains of faded tint; with breakfast
plate standing ten hours just as they are
left, and with no one to sew buttons on
their shirts who have no consolation but
the occasional rows among married people,
and their sufferings from troublesome
olive branches; who, when hearing of the
; marriage of an enemy, are so amiable as
to say with Hook, =" [ am very glad to
hear it, though they sometimes add with
him, " And yet, don't SEQ why should
be, poor fellow, for he never did me much
injury" Nay, it requires principle and
honor to abstain from forming engage
mcnts which are beyond the power of a
party to perform, and it may demand more
nerve than single men of ordinary finances
can comand to enter the connubial state be-
fore the ship from India, which they were
promised when boy, arrives and brings
silks and iewerly enough to venture upon
a matrimonial campaign. Many of the
class are ready to respond to the sonti-
ment which one of their number announc-
ed on late festive occasion:
"Thcsc arc the reasons never have we'd,
The reason no bride TO the altar have led:
The crinoline, silks, and the duck of a bonnet
Would soon show our table with nothing upon it