, 1870-04-10
TIT-BITS

New York hotel recently startledits g1aats |
fre p.sss n1essa.on ero1sa R,s t n sss s n
~ Western psper thinks that women would
not make coed statesmen 1.-The question OF
the age would always trouble them
a TreS merchant has placed On the door
Of his safe card, saying to burglars: Don't
u Portland club h.s the following ques-
ton rruposed for discussion: "Can i biz |
man ache haa!er than Gtue E,ns'
-rrotessionst Dialogue: Fhyriciau. Sup
cerebenIru against the bottom, what would b. |
yonE course II called In ! surEeous" Stu
dent y should aayise them let the man
lie ard fiji rp the VEIL
in his last ..What Know About FARM
ing Horace Greeley treats Of asrnning a. i
Horzee's reputation doea Elm injustice, he
would make leading i1igationist on that
rlzn.
! 1uesttd he1 neisbhor to 1eAA II He ACCORD
| ing1y began to red: "DeA1 nother'-theu
psnscd, as The Writing .was rather illsGible.
~ ;soa, sshanx .t,1,S exclaimed tho old laas'
-Siggi1dly uose Cwho has Just finished
caring = turkey. "WM you have + s1asl
piece Of the dark rneAt, or email piece OF the
| white ueat?" Hungry Guest (vho is addicted
to The habit Of p1ain.speaking) "Thank rod; :;
I III take large piece Of 1oh
I The late Dr.. Bloomfield, Bishop Of London
Nss preaching before village congregation
| rcry ahetruse sermon On the existence Of \
Surtrme Being. After the sermon MAS con-
Guided he asked The Church Warden how he
had liked the sernon- He replied: :" cannot
~ :gree wi,h you, Doctor for really think
"A friend having pointed out to Sheridan
that Lord Kenyon 6ad ALLEN ah,eep at the tlrst
| representation Of Pfzarrp, and that too in the
uidst Of Ro11a's fine speech to tho Peruvian
soldiers, tho dtanstist felt 1athtr mortified l.
hut instantly recovering bis usual good hunor,
he sald ':Ah, poor man! let him .leep; be
thinks be is on the bench
The Trovidcnce Prcss says thst gentle
man IN that city who went home under the III
Euence Of two gIsaaes Of liquor not long ago,
retiring for the night His wife insisted sha'
he was drunk but he Indignantly danied tht
soft irupeachment- After The arguIn tnt hai
continued some time, she concluded Is follows
We'll, Colonel, ii you are not drunk. rha
are ron going to bed with that silk hat on for ?
4 Young gentleman IN Ohio recently al
dressed a note to certain fair one. With tn
, euninent1v landabte dceire OF csco1ting her II
, church. He WAS considerably more surprsct
, than delighted At the prompt return Of hi
/ | note, with The emphatic endorsement. "shoo
Fly, don't boddcr me-"
{. "A amart old Western lsdy, being calles
into court as witness. grew impatient At tn
] questions pnt to her, and told the Judge tha
. shc would quit the stand, fos he Was ".rsl
, one Of the most in4uis;tiye old gentlemen sb
, l1:d ever seen"
, An cid soates replied to ! Temperance lsc
: surer by the following poser: 'If wnter rot:
| | The soles OF your boots, what efrect must j
have on the coat Of your stomach =
III require eaid = sage of tho 1ndias
;; tribe OF renobscota, 'tbut three things K
/ | msRe nc harpy." What il the hnt = in
qaired seeker Of wisdom. "Tobscco," ~al
the rerls. "Whas is the sccond:" 'ltum-
! "Wel1, what il the thrill" Why. said thI
philosopher, coa:emp.anycly, ~ little nor
: ! nm"
i "A rose-bush happened by chance tn sp1inI
up in tobacco field, and q tobacco worm, il
, travelling hom one plant to another. got upa
: I II hy accident. He was arrested by rFc il
! full bloom and OF the richest fragrance
"What nbominablc odor Is this :" exclaime
the tobacco worm. "0ue good leaf Of tobas
co Is worth ali the roses in he world"
= Here's an account that IL our young rest
y err will not sec through at glance:
n | John Smith to Robert Jones, DIS
:, copper pAns-a$3.-.
~ hooutn Do. -...,~--.+-.....--.-....---.- -