The Van Buren press., 1870-11-01
Bs5gss 81 ScIsSs11Ss.
osaster sumner in Trouble.
4 Story BY Doun piatt.

I heard, to-day. good thing sbou
my friend, the Honorable Charles, Chair
iaan Of tue Committee Jon Foreign AT
fairs. Il seems that the dinner tendere,
the late French Minister did come OF, al
though the person in whose honor it wa!
gotten up had thoughtlsssly departed
this life after the dinner was ordered
aid the invitations we're out. The old
Salt Macksrel of the State Department,
regarded this act OF the French Minister
as positive breach of diplomatic Ell
quette, and said, testify. that he could
not see why the suicide might not have
been postponed, under the circumstances
At least twenty-four hours.
OF course, the dinner could not be
postponed, and the guests met at the
hour named and partook of the good
thugs our diplomatic old Sardine to so
famous Tor providing. Among these
guests WAS the Honorable Chawls, who
regretted, in choice phrase, brought up
from the lower depths Of his senatorial
organs OF speech, the absence of his
friend Paradol.
But after. when about midnight, the
Hon. Senator returned to his virtuous
couch, he found that he had forgotten his
night key. lie tried to communicate this
unpleasant fact to the Fifteenth Amend.
mont that, in tho shape Of sixteen ne
groes, more or less, inhabit his senate.
rial mansion, by first ringing, and then
knocking at the door. But the Fifteenth
Amendment, like the Irshman, when i,
goes TO sleep turns his attention to it,
aud no amount Of knocking or ringing
disturbed its slumbers. The dignifed
chairman thought In wrath of that old
African melody Of Whose dat Knock
in at de Dooh.'
Ii da. you Sam; Oh, no, Use JIM
Wellyou Amt good lookin'and you cant getin
And from ringing and knocking he fell
to kicking and u.tcrng shouts Of the
most portentous sort Tue Senator has
voice that resembles heavy thunder in
n hogShead. and the still neighborhood
was startled-all save the sleeping citi.
zens Of African descent. Among those
disturbed was the honorable delegate
from - Territory, who was retiring
to his frugal couch In the Arlington, at-
tor little dinner Of his own, where the
meats were not 50 remarkable as the old
rye. He stuck his deleg ited head out OF
window at the moment when the Chair.
man was executing flank movement on
his gate and opened heavy fire on that
entrance.
"Hullo, hullo down there" cried the
Hon. Delegate; /" l say, do you know you
are making yourself very dissgreeable
with your besstly noise. Dry up"
IL can't get in my house." responded
the Senator.
"Wcll, be d--d; here's a drunken
hummer lettn' on he's Senator Sumner. y
II am Senator Sumner"
"fou are, are you? Just wait till !
get my breeches on; III settle that
Whercupon the Hon. Delegate put on his
pantaloons with the wrong side before,
snd descended solemnly. In the mean.
tino. the Senator had redoubled his ex
ertions, and, when the delegate appeared,
he was pitching stones and breaking
glass in the upper windows. To the
Senator's cries, the delegate added vo
ciferous howl for the police. Strange to
say, a policeman appeared. But he was
new man, and as yet unacquainted with
the ways of his class.
Arrest that drunken old hummer"
cried the delegate; "he has been s:oning
Senator Summers house."
~ am Senator Sumner"
"Oh, that won't wash, old cuss Scna-
tor Sumner doa't get drunk and brea&
windows"
"Ycs. yes," shouted an old fellow.
sticking his night.capped head OF a win
dow, over tho way" arrest him he tried
to break into this house not an hour ago"
Sumner was dumbfounded. He had
never been treated with such indignity
before. Looking up, in his distress, he
saw Roessle gazing with his usual sang
.froid on the scene.
"You know me sir" he said, appeal.
ing to the proprietor.
Cant say that do" was tho quiet
response; never had tho honor of an
intsuduction." I:
"Do your duty, nocturnal luminary ;
arrest this violator of the peace" roared
the delegate.
"No violence, sir," exclaimed Sumner,
Is the man seized his arm. IL an an
American Senator. You touch mo at
your peril"
Tho fellow hesitated, but Sumner add.
cd. e will go with you, sir, if you insist
upon it," and so the two marched off,
and quiet once more fell upon the scene.
In about half an hour the Hon. Chairman
returned with the Chief Of Police, to find
that his confidential head waiter. who
had been waking up for the last two
hours, was at the front door, gazing idi.
ot,cally at the moon. The Senator bade
TIC Chief of Police solemn good night,
and retired to the solemn recesscs Of his
lone home.
Ey- The fre6y only shines when on
the wing; so it is with the mind; when