The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-06-17

A Wisconsin, man sal down on . beehive the
other day. and prefers 10 stand.
Epitaph on waiter-IIe could wait no longer
-hs is gone. - WOUNI VI
The ties 10 connect business men with the
public-adyertise.
A man from Cheyenne registered himself ara
Chicago hotel rs from ''Shy-Ann.
DID tho Trrs Of KnowIcise teach the higher
branchesi
Josh Billings says .I'd rather be secd cow
cumber. flung up on wood pile; than TO be an
old bachelor
n YOU can't coax q 6sh to bite, try your per-
sussiye powers ON crus dog. and you will be
sure TO succeed.
Mr.. Gushaway says that embracing an op-
portunity n one thing. md embracing his sior-
able Sarah Jane Il quite another. Gushaway Is
only human aud has an eye 10 milk and. honey
served up in pink trimmings.
A queer welding took place few days ago
In New York, where father and q son married
mother and daughter. the joke Of u being
that the fhther married the daughter and the
mother married the son.
Some wag In Richmond. Va, has sent to one
OF the local papers, as original, an extract IRON
the Song Of solomon, and the elitor introduces
II by styling il trash, and saying that IL Is n
fair specimen Of the poetical illusions which are
daily thrown into his vaste-basket.
Advertising has created many q new business;
has enlarged many an OIL business has .reyiy-
81 many dull business; has rscued many q
Lost business; has saved many falling bush
ness; has preserved many large business AMI
insurcs success in any business.
A servant living In the country was iircctci
TO go to the rost efice aud get the mail. After
her return her mistress inquirvd:
did you get the mailr'
She answered, 'Faith. mum, dill not for
you forgot 10 tell me whether Il was Indian
mail or rye mail that you wanted
A Californian was Boosting in the presence Of
the Boston excursion party In San Francisco,
the other day, Of the immenss sisc Of seals in
California waters. An replied one OF the par
", not 10 be outdcne by the Californian even in
the matter Of seals, but you should sc the
great seal Of Massachusetts, 20
In q little town out west Q lady teacher was
exercising class Of juveniles in mental arith-
metic. She commenced the question, IF you
buy COW for ten dollars when up came a
little hand. what Is IL, johnny why you
can't buy no Kind Of COW Cor ten dollars; IA
Their sold one for sixty dollars the other day,
and she was a regular old scrub al that y
A voice comes from Washington Territory
saying, Send us wives. A thousand or more OF
yirtuous, industrious and good tempered young
women are wanted as belp-mates for the lorls
OF creation. The region the voice saws, is
fertile, producing 6fty bushels Of wheat to the
acre. But what Is wheat without wifef lp
one county Of the Territory alone there are four
hundred adult men, and only twenty-three
women. all told
you complain Of my taking the pledge said
n reclaimed man TO an acquaintance, who be-
lieved In freedom In everything and that man
should drink when he wants to. why, man,
strong drink occasioned me TO have more 10 do
with plelging than ever tsctotalism has. when
i used strong drink, Plclgcd my coat,
pledged my bed. pledged. in short, everything
that was plclgcable, and was losing every hope
and blessing, when temperance friend met me
and convinced me Of my folly. Then pledged
myself. and soon got my other things out Of
pledge, and got more than my former property
about me- .