The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-09-23

consequences, I fall asleep
1t was about one o'clock, A. NJ, WheT
I awoke. / Fecollected everything.
was in room with two or three dirty
fellows, half drunk, half asleep, who
had been taken up in some row. There
was one better-loOking, gentlemanly
dressed man, who was drunk as pOssi-
ble, lying on a form, and calmly and
quite hOpelessly surveying me with q
fishy CLASSY, fishy-looking eye. I call
ed for and saw the Inspector, or head
but very firm. He would not hear OF
a bribe On good, substantial bail he
would let me out, but before the police
magistrate 1 must appear that morn
ing at ten o'clock. Where could /, a
young, unknown man, get bail at that
time of night? I sat down, elbows on
my knees, head in my hands, and
thought over matters.
No doubt took a somewhat gloomy
view of things. My impressions were /:
Appearance as a criminal in the police
court-shame of the thing-heavy fine
perhaps imprisOnment-cOm
lOst-report in the regiment that was
a coward, backing out when the time
for active service had arTived-charac-
ter gone What could I do? Two
o'clock, three, four, five; the we'll
dressed drunkaTd opposite awOke from
his intoxicated slumber. He was
clothed in a grey suit-in dark brown !;
he had a greatcoat-I had none; he
had a hat-mine had doubc4Sss been
picked up long ago near BIetchley, and
was laid by as the gala head-dress of
some navy.
Halo" said to the man opposite;
I" who are you? What are you doing
here ?'i
"III be hung if 1 can tell,n said he,
on the spur of the moment. "But wait
a moment-let me collect my scattered
thoughts. Yesterday was a medical
student of - hospital, as no doubt I
still am. Last evening / attended a
supper party of a friend who was just
passed his examination. [ do not rec
Ollect getting into any row, but no
doubt 1 was picked up by the police,
drunk and insensible. l shall most
likely be fined five or ten bob by the
beak, and get a lecture from him.
About one O'clock my stomach will re-
cover its tone, and Richard will be
himself again. There is my case; now
why are you here ?'' he said.
~ hardly lznow,U [ replied. "But
wait a bit; let me think" I asked
him if the police knew him, and what
name he gave.
" have no more idea than you,u he
replied, " whether the Bobbies have the
honor of being acquainted with me; 1
can't tell whether L. gave any name
If l twas able to utter any articulate
sound, I am pretty sure to have in
formed them that my name was Mr..
John Smith,"
I thought.
tNIr. John Smith," said I, 1--WE shall
never meet again. [ neither mean nor
wish to insult you. l have done moth
ing criminal, and yet am in a bigger
mess than can probably be atOned for
by a few shillings fine. Pardon me, if
I insult you by my proposal. If you
will exchange clothes with me, and
names and crimes, neither of us giving
our real names, 1 will give you twenty
pounds down, and run my chance of
being first placed at the bar" .
" All very well, y said he; "butsup-
posing your offence is one likely to be
first-I should be in a mess.'
"Oh, no." I replNd; "if you are
called first, L loose my esne, and you
keep the money giY6~s bu, and take
your own offence and your own pun
If I am called up first, I
give your name, and pay your fine ).
and you, when you are called, will
have no great difficulty in proving that
you are not I, and were not where 1
was yesterday"
All right; done, along with you,"
he said; but hope you are not in for
murder"
We changed clothes while our COM
paniOns were snoring. We were duly
conveyed in the prisOn-van about half
past nine, to the police-court. / man.
aged to get hold of an official, to give
him a pound, and to get him to use his
influence to have the case of John
Smith, the drunken medical student,
called first, or very early. My bribe
For the first, and last time,
trust, in my life, I stood in the dock.
No sooner had / been placed there,
plead guilty; that / was very sOrTy for
what / had done, q inwardly wonder
ed what it was, that had been over
taken by drink on a festive occasion,
and so forth. The magistrate cut me
short by saying he was glad to see me
so penitent-at the same time my Of
fence must be punished; that it was
disgraceful for a gentleman of my pO-
sitiOn to be found drunk and incapable
in the streets; / must pay a fine of ten
shillings, or go to prison for seven
days.
7 need hardly add that paid the fine
at once, left the court, and as fast as a
hansOme could carry me, hurried off to
the sOuth-WesteTnE terminus. My ruSe
at the police court must, / knew, be
soon discovered, and though there was
not much chance of my being found
and taken up, yet / was anxious to put
as great a distance as I could between
myself and the worthy magistrate and
his subOrdinates. By Some clever
management, the case keRss out of the
newspapers.
F. I remember / Ianxiously scanned the
police reports, TO see. what had become
of my prison acquaintance, Mr.. John
Smith, who dressed in my clothes, was
to stand in my shoes and take on him
self my offence, but I could learn moth
ing. It was not till a few years after,
on my return to England, that I heard
what had been the end of the matter.
Feeling confident that I should not he
recognized, l went to the same police
court, got into conversation with one
of the officials, treated him to q drink,
and, at length, without showing any
unusual interest in the story, led him
on to tell me now, some years back,
there had been the rummiest 90 he ev-
er knew in that court; how the wrong
man had been fined for being what be
had not been, namely, drunk and inca
pable; how Mr.. John Smith, when he
was put in the dock and charged with
getting on a train in motion at BIetch-
ley, and then assauIting the police al
EustOn-square station, not only denied
the fact, but forced the witnesses tC
confess that he was not the man, and
then, in the most impertinent manner,
threatened to summon the police, the
witnesses, nay even the magistrate
himself, if he was not dismissed with q
gracious apology from all of them; how
the police were not little put out, &c
" In fact; sir,H he added, cit was the
very rummiest CO."
But to return to my story. | lef
town by the first train l could, and, as