The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1870-01-19

MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISING IN NEW L Ohh.-
A lady who had no idea Of looking for husband.
but with large procvities for mischief and fun,
put matrimonial advertisement in the N. 7.
Herald with direction for answers to be sent
to a certain signature at the Broadway Post:
Office As the advertisement appealed TO the
practical appreciation, by assuming neat little
fortune. in addition to an agreeable person. the
seed of such temptation could not well fall Idly
upon such fertile bottom as is offered by the
city Of New York On the first day that sue
ceeded the advertisement, the lady received sew
enteen replies on the second day, thirty-two !;
and on the third seventy two an extent and ar
dour of appreciation for her vaguely described
personal attractions which even she was not pre-
pared to expect. Bewildered by the warm
volume of Alteration and entreaty which issued
from this hymenial magazine the lady called to
her aid five ladies as mischievous as herself.
One pair of hands and one mind were. of course
quite unequal to the task of answering ALL so the
billet-doux we're divided equally among them.
and each was to make an appointment with the
writers on the following Saturday afternoon at
four o'clock on the lower side of the upstairs
saloon Of certain popular restaurant on Broad
way. Each of the ladies'. moreover, who took
the task in charge. chose different cooured pa
per for replies. Finally. it was agreed that the
whole six should be present at the Interview, and
that each should wear the exact costume pre-
scribed for the inamorata whom the singing
swans would be there to see. On the other
hand. the gentlemen were directed to appear in
all the varieties of attire and position which fe-
male ingenuity and mischief could devise. One
was requested to wear blue coat and brass but
tons another to have his hair parted IN the mid
die one was to be eating plate OF pork and
beans, which. said the ingenious writer VINO die
taf cd - SCARCELY will he called
for by anybody else Others were to be par
taking of various dishes or to place themselves
in such pastures as were directed by the writer
At four O'Clock on the prescribed Saturday az
ternoon every chair at every table on the lower
side OF the upstairs saloon was filled with sleek
looking and highly perfumed Leanders, all gazing
into each others faces, and each secretly cursing
the luck which wedged him so closely out of the
killing position and displays which he had been
meditating ever since he got his note. And how
the dishes smoked, and the wondering walters
flew. Even the perplexed landlord, amazed at
this miraculous flow of business was obliged to
drop his own mutton chop and call out the en-
tire force of his establishment, TO meet the cha
morous, if not threatening demands of gentlemen
who feared they might not get their telegraph
ing plates of duck, or mess of pork and beans, in
time. At length the clash of sheen and kick of
stiff skirts was heard coming up the stair one
minute after the hour, and an inamorata appear
ed, dressed in dark green, with deep fur cape
and abundant dropping lace. She was wafered
on the back of the head with an infnitesimal
bonnet and carried in her hand the magic drift
OF cambria. whose Shaksperean strawberries init
mated that she was she. When she appeared
the sensation was universal the gentleman with
the buff rest threw open his coat to the extreme
the gentleman in the &" blue and the bright but
tons. buttoned his coat entirely to the chin the
gentleman who was TO lean backward frequently
commenced fitting like Chinese mandarin the
gentleman with the pork and beans became voci-
ferrous for more beans while those who had duck
&c, were equally clamorous in complaining of
the undue fufment Of their orders. Never was
there such a Glamour heard in that usually well
regulated upstairs saloon before, and by the bye.
never subsidized more suddenly than when new
brush of skirts was heard coming up the stairs
All the Lotharios were once more in position
when 10 ! another COrdelia, in all respects the re-
lex of the first. appeared, bearing the film of
strawberries as a challenge in her hand. and
sweeping with it like Juno to a seat near the
location of the first. 1t is needless TO say that
the sensation was now extreme. Some of the
gentlemen who were to part their hair in the
middle began, however, to look less furiousy at
other gentlemen who had their hair parted the
same way Us UuCu Us IL ~ say W ell. there Is
one for each of us. anyhow !" But most of the
party seemed more troubled than before A
pause of some minutes succeeded before any
new appearance took place. during which time
the Lotharios were engaged in displaying their
points to the best advantage and some more
ardent than the rest, pulled out the various
coored notes they had received. and either pre-
tended to read them. or laid them conspieuously
on the table. There's one of my fellows with
a blue note said mystery No. l, over her spoon
full of soup to mystery No. 2. There's one of
mine" said Cordelia the second; hes got pink
note. What do you think of Augustus there
with the pork and beans, who is so pensivey
leaning his cheek upon his hand ?" said myth the
first; but before the answer could be given. ap-
partitions three and four appeared, and hard upon
their heels came five and six. There was now
perfect CONSERVATION on the lower side of the
up stairs saloon of the fashionable restaurant on
Broadway. The man of tilt fell backwards and
was shot under the table; there was a general
feeling after hats. and gathering up of loose
handkerchiefs and canes All at once, after one
of those sudden panics. which convey electric
knowledge TO the human mind general STAN
pede took place, and the whole party, with more
or less notwithstanding to the nature and
shapes they had assumed-made for the stairs and
descended out of sight. 1t was several minutes
before they could nand IN Ihelr enecks and pay
their score. and during this time the mischievous
bevy. with strawberry-marked handkerchiefs.
took full pay for their trouble in the hearty laugh
which they INDUCED in at the ludicrous tableau
and exodus they had just beheld on the part of
the gentlemen who were so sharp after the ''snug
little fortune and whose motives were entirely
confined to the object of getting "congenlal
partner with whom they could quietly settle down
IN life