The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-10-29
WIT AND WISDOM

Mr. SMITH" said lawyer to his land
lord, 1" if a man were to give you five hun
dred dollars to keep for him, and he died,
what would you do? Would you pray
for him p " No, SIR" replied Mr.. Smith,
" I'd pray for another like him."
How many feet long was the snake ?"
asked person Of traveller who had just
related a story Of the encounter Of boa
constructor killed by him. "One hundred
and ninetytwo inches" was the reply,
''snakes have no feet"
A LITTLE fellow, some four or FIVE years
old, and who bad never seen a negro, was
greatly prePlexed one day when one came to
where be and bis father were. The youngster
eyed the stranger suspiciously till be had
passed, and then asked his father: Pa,
who painted that man all black 50 n "God
did, my son." replied the father. "Wen,"
said the little one, looking after the negro,
" | should ut thought bed held still.
"BRIDeET | told you to let me have my
bot water the first thing in the morning"
" Sure, sir, replied Bridget, "and didn't
| bring it up and lave it at the dure last
night, 30 as to have it in time p
PARIS, Notwithstanding the presence Of a
beleaguering army, still maintains its repu-
tation as the gay capital" There never
we're 50 many balls as at this time, and en-
gagements are frequent
A JOKE ON A MINISTER AT one Of our
neighbors houses Was a very bright little
girl 1t CHANGED once that they had guest,
minister, an esteemed friend Little Anna
watched him closely, and finally sat down
beside him and began to draw on her slate.
" What are you drawing, Anna?" asked
the clergyman. else maxim your pictur," }"
answered the child. 50 the gentleman sat
very still aud she worked sway earnstly ivr
while. Then she stop ed, compared her
work with the original, and shook her little
head. /" i don't like it much" she laid.
"Tan't great deal ike you. dess iii
put tail to il and call il dog" Fancy
bis feelings. What likeness il must have
been.
A FAIR HIT.-Two wags passing out of
town on the Galveston road, says the Kansas
Tribune were struck with the beauties Of
Lawrence.
Whose place i that z" said one Of Them.
That is the lordly residence Of Major
George A. Reynolds. Cost thirty thousand
dollars
What is bis business -
Indian Agent"
"WLat is biz salary, and how long has he
held bis office Iii
Two years, al fifteen hundred dollarSa
year"
Lord what did the honest fellow DO with
the rest of his salary"
"Started bis brother and two other honest
men in the newspaper business to denounce
corruption i
THERE il a farmer ID Yorkshire who has a
mile Of children. His name il Furlong, and
he has four boys and four girls. Eight
FurlOngs make one mile.
Here are two small Jokes anent the river
which gives its name to the Port Of Liver
pool: A wag. crossing to WOOdside Ferry,
and observing the muddlness Of the water,
remarked that Shakespeare was quite correct
in stating that "the quality Of Mersey is not
strained" A Liverpool pilot, adrift in the
Irish sea during dense fog, is said to have
fervently uttered two lines from a well
known hymn:
"That Mersey | to others showed,
That Mersey show to me"
A sailor, the other day, in describing bis
first efforts to become a waterman, said that
just at the close of dark night be was
sent alOft to see if he could see a light
After a short time hs was hailed from the
deck with, Masthead, ahoy !" "Ay, az,
sir " The lookout was ordered down with
a run.