Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-10-12

on the other, always Of two pretty
contrasting cOlOrs, and is an econOmi-
cal dress to buy, as it trims itself TO
the best advantage.
-@O~~s
A man who took a drink from a
bottle of mucilage says he has felt
stuck up" ever since.
"Cometh up rs a hOwer"-very like
ly it does; but there is One thing that
don't go down as the flour and that is
the price Of bread.
There is down east, rather a face
tiOus fellow, whose name is New. He
named his first child Something, as il
was something new. His next child
vas called Nothing, as it was nothing
new.
AL women studying law will be adj
mitted hereafter to the Law Depart
ment of the University Of Chicago
npOn the same terms as men. Two
have already graduated.
The Florida mosquitoes, blown over
for the first time, this season, and in
too, to the English coast, we're
taken in that country for a new
species Of snipe.
The Connecticut river is so dry,
that persons are driving RcrOssit with
their teams at points where il has not
been forded within the memory OF
persons nov living.
There is a great similarity, at pres
ent, between Napoleon and Johnny
Steele, once the petroleum prince Of
Pennsylvania, but now a poor wan
derer. Both are in the exile-line.
A little boy having broken his rock
ing-hOrse the day il was bought, his
mamma began to scOld, when he
silenced her bY inquiring, "wLat is
the good of a boss till its broker"
A Miss Lucy Lee advertises in a
Mississippi paper that she is Of good
birth and education, and is willing to
marry IN editor, believing herself
able to support ne.
An old lady in Kentucky crossed q
bridge marked " dangerous, " without
seeing the sign. On being informed
of the fact at the other side Of the
AANEAH EAAG ALAAEu aD1uN anu AAAAAAAEAAA-
ately ~recrOssed.
Some ill-bred fellow has found out
that husbands are like dough because
wives need them. May not this ex,
plain why there are so many crusty
fellows?
Nebraska, not to be outdOne in the
way Of queer girls, produces a DAM
sci who speaks four languages, chews
and smokes tobacco, plays the most
difficult music on the piano, svears,
dances superbly, and takes whisky
straight"
A western editor accuses another oil
having stolen his report ola meeting.
which was recognized by certain ear,
marks. The retort courteous is that
the first editor SHOULD tie his ears
over the tOpOf hishead while writing,
to keep them out Of the ink bOttle.'i
Dickens says: "I have known vast
quantities of nonsense talked about
bad men not looking you in the face.
Don't trust that conventional idea.
Dishonesty will stare you out of coun-
tenance any day in the week, if there
is anything to be got by it."
1t was said that Erasmus laid the
egg of the Reformation, and Luther
Matched it.n Erasmus, afterWard,
having quarreled with the new party,
said II laid a hens egg, but Luther
has Matched a crows egg" Hallam
remarks that, whatever the bird may
have been, it pecked bravely at the
Church.
Mamma, " said a little French girl,
''do cats have sOulS?n why dari,
ing ." because 1 should like to
have my cats soul alwa with mine"
And then after a moments reflection,
"Why, of course, all the cats souls
must be in heaven to catch the rats
souls.
Fanny Fern comes to the defence OF
old maids in this style: "The fact is,
the Modern Old Maid is as good as
the Modern Young Maid, and a great
deal better, TO those who have out
grown bread and butter. She has
sense as well as freshness, and con-
versatiOn and repartee as well as dim
Piles and curves"
1t may not be generally known that
the last sale of a slave in the South
occurred in Virginia. News had just
reached the Valley of the retreat Of
Lees army from Petersburgh, when q
gentleman offered a slave to a farmer
of Augusta county. After some hig-
Cling the bargain was closed by bar
tering the negIO off for one hundred
cabbage PlaRts.-NOUOH Journal.
Professor Cocker, of Michigan Uni
versity, an Englishman himself, spent
the summer in "the old country
and tells the story that one well in
formed person demonstrated to him
the impossibility of Americas be-
coming a great nation, because she
had no coal, and expressed a COM
mendable degree Of surprise when she
learned that when we had scoOped
all the coal out of some Of our districts,
their little island could be dropped
clear out of sight in the hole.
A cOuntryman stopped at the Max
well House, Nashville, for dinner.
The waiter inquired what he would
have, and was told by the country
man to bring something of what he
had.n The waiter brought him a
regular dinner upon small dishes, as
is the usual form, and set them around
his plate. The countryman surveyed
them carefully for a moment, and then
broke out We'll, I like your sam
pies; now bring me some dinner"
In all policies of life insurance these,
among a host of other questions, Oc-
cur: "Age of father, if hving?" age
of mother, if living?" A man in the
country who filled up an application
made his fathers age, eff living" one
hundred and twelve years, and his
mothers one hundred and two. The
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