Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-07-28

The Mississippi; militia law makes all
able-bodied citizens from 18 to - years OF
age liable to military duty. Among the
exemptions are mentioned persons VINO
are under disabilities imposed by the
Fourteenth amendment.
An Irish barrister entering the court
with his wig very much awry, was opngoo
to endure round of remarks on its appear
ance. At last, addressing Mr.. Curran, ne
asked: "Do you see any thing ridiculous
in this wig?" Nothing but the head,
replied the wit
An old farmer said TO his sons: boys
don't YOU ever speckerlate, or wait TOT
suthirs to turn up. You might just as
well go and sit down on stone IN the
middle of medder, with pail atwixt
your legs, an wait for COW to back up
TO you to be MIXED"
There have been treated at the Bos-
ton Dispenssry during the past fourteen
years 275,O51 patients, and during Inc
same period $50, $50 recipes have been
given out. It ives established IN lI95,
and is one Of the Oldest charities IN Bos-
ton.
Laurence Sterne, who never asplreo
to the reputation of q special morality,
once wrote i" / should never drink; 1t
costs me three days-the first in SHINING,
the second in SOLDERING, and the third IN
repenting."
"A Brooklyn paper makes plea Tor
the little children and babies who are
used by organ grinders to excite sympa-
thy. 1t is stated that many OF them are
hired for the purpose, and that the "a
bies are frequently drugged to keep them
quiet.
-" Frank" said an affectionate mother
the other day to promising boy, !" If you
don't stop smoking and reading so much
you will get SO after while that you
won't care anything about work. I"
Mother" replied the hopeful, leisurely
removing a very long cigar, f" l have got SO
now"
AT recent trial in New York one of
the Jurors was challenged because he hap.
pened to be bellhanger, and the counsel
objected to him on that account, as i'm
plying prediction for hanging. An
ether was an undertaken, and in this case
the joke made on rejecting him was OBJ
vious.
The Aurora, Ind, Independent is au.
thority for the following: "The excessive
heat one day last week expanded the
rails on the Louisville, New Albany q
Chicago Railroad SO that some OF them
were bent nearly double, and others
curled into the shape of an s."
A careful analysis of New York milk
shows that it's bulk is increased about one
| third, by the addition Of water; and thus
| the knavish milkmen are making theii
| customers pay ten cents quart for water
as though it were milk. Several OF the
rascals were lately caught in the act O
watering their r,ilk, and were fined anl
| imprisoned.
A queer story IS told by one of Tx
Greek papers. One of the military com
manders having offered a reward for esci
brigands head brought in, the supply
soon became so extensive that suspicion
were aroused. Inquiry was set on foot
and disclosed the fact that with an eye u
the main chance, the so-calied brigand
hunters made raids into the neighborinl
villages plundered them, and then turned
the heads of their victims to account.
"A good story is told of the grea
home opathic physician, DR.. Cabarrus
who recently died in Paris. Mile. JUL,
Barron was half sick, and wholly i'll
humored. She sent tor him "What Il
the matters" asked the doctor. "Ob,
hardly know myself" she replied, "my
spirits are terribly unequal Sometimes
am greatly elated, and then l suddenly
sink into the deepest melancholy" After
moment srefection, Cobarrus said, grave
ly: II am afraid there is but one way to
| cure YOU" What is its" she inquired
| eagerly. "You must get married, he re
piled, with a mirthful twinkle OF the
eye, but still keeping grave lace. well,
ssid Mile. Barron, after little hesitation
followed by long drawn sigh of relief
"perhaps you are right. Would you
marry me % Ma chere," replied Cabar
rus, blandly; "the doctor prescribes, but
he doesn't take his own medicines"