Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1870-06-06
OF MYTHOLOGY.
from the Punchinsllo for June.

Mythology Is the term by which the
ancient Greek or Roman used to dis
tinguish his religion from the rival
religions of other and heretical paganS.
Just as Orthodoxy, according to Dean
Swift, means '.my doxy," and Hetero-
doxy, the doxy of other people so the
pious Roman used to speak Of "my
theology as the only genuine relig-
lon; the "theologies " ofother men be-
ing cheap and worthless counterfelts
of the real article. The classic mythol-
ogy had large and varied assortment
Of deities, from which every man could
select supply to suit himself. Thus
the lawyer could place bust of Mer-
curry, the god Of chicanery, In his office,
and so secure the patronage Of the god
and save the expense of a tin sign an
nounclng his profession. The editor
could dedicate his paper to the service
of Janus, the two-faced deity, and thus
pursue his business without perilling his
reputation for religious consistency.
Tho advantage of this sort Of thing
need hardly be enlarged upon.
We propose to give easy and familiar
descriptions Of the more important
gods Of classic mythology, for the ben-
etit Of our younger readers. We there
fore begin without further delay, with
the chief deities Of Olympus, the celes-
tial Tammany Hall of the period. The
Olympians formed sort of Ring which
governed the entire celestial and infer
nal world, and as they were the only
Judges of election, they retained the
power undisturbed.
Jupiter-Thls Individual was jolly,
good-tempered, old Olympian who
lived In great terror Of his wife, Juno,
aud was sadly addicted to surreptitious
beer. and undignified flirtations with
the female servants. He was fond Of
Disgusting himself, and staying out
late at nights in search Of adventures.
It Is difficult, however, to believe that
he really disguised himself as swan,
In order to present his bill to Leda.
The story, doubtless, originated in the
fact that Juno called him ian old
goose" to which he very probably re-
piled that "other women appreciated
him better, and that Leda, for ex-
ample, would be more apt to call
him duck or swan, than degrad-
ed and abject goose" So, too, In
regard to the story that he disguised
himself rs bull, and In that eccentric
costume made love 20 Europa. One
legend expressly states that he pre-
tended to be an Irish bull. This is,
of course, q figuratiye way Of saying
that he proclaimed himself an Irish
gentleman, o descendant of Brien Boru
and a graduate Of Trinity College,
Europa was probably 4 child's nurse,
and the fascinating Irish gentleman
was accustomed to meet her In the
Park, and enliven her with his ma
tional witticisms. One can easily be-
lieve that he made love to Danae by
throwing a shower Of gold In her lap
a story which shows that women were
much the same In ancient times as they
are to-day. There Is no denying that
Jupiter was a sad old dog, and that he
would have been killed dozen times
by insane husbands had he not been
Immortal. However, he was pretty
severely punished by Juno, who was
the leader of the Olympian Sorosis,
and who used to hear Of all his disre-
putable filrtations from the respectable
spinsters of that Wild Goddess ASCOT
alton, and would keep him awake night
after night with curtain lectures on
the subject. Jupiter was, ex-otiicio, the
Chairman of the 0lympian Society,
and he once crushed a rebellion Of the
Titans, who were the roughs Of the
period, by locking them out Of the
0lympian Hall, and shying all sorts Of
heavy missiles, such rs charters-a
Greek word signifying u mountainous
burden-out of the upper chamber at
them. He had large number Of rel
Atiyes who he placed in all the fat Of
ices, and though there was some dis
satisfaction with his government. it
was generally agreed that he was bet
ter fitted for his position than any one
of the Titans would have been. No
one knows what was the ultimate fate
Of Jupiter. He was, however, de-
throned by the Emperor Constantine,
and was never afterwards heard Of;
though It Is we'll known that the In
habitants of certain inland counties Of
New Jersey still believe in his exist
ence, and have not yet heard OF Con-
stantine's reformation.