The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-05-19

FLOWERS that are always falling off
Bachelors buttons.
IFa man blows his own trumpet, can
his opinions be sound
PREMIUMS received in cash, and policies
paid in cash, by the Washington Life.
4 STITCH in Time may save nine-but
he never seems to be entirely sewn up.
THE Siamese twins must have one con-
solstion-they cannot sue each other.
To CURE DEAFNEss-Tell man you've
come to pay him money. 1t beats acoustic
oil all hollow.
| It's almost enough to make man lose
| his head altogether when he has only
half a-crown left.
| WaAT costume ought to remind lady
| of her washer-woman? Why, her lawn
dress, to be sure?
| IN the height of prosperity expect ad-
versity, and fortify yourself against its
evils by policy oA your life in the Wash
| ington Life.
THE last case Of Incidence is that of a
man named John Hole, who was so by
that, in writing his name, he simply used
the letter - and then punched a hole
through the paper.
| ANNA DICKINSON saws that "there is no
work man can do but that will be better
done by having woman at his side
How about currying kicking mule? asks
a contemporary.
a LoQUACIoUs author, after chattering
SOME lime about his piece to Sheridan
said, Sir, [ tear | have been intrudine
on your attention." mot at all, | assure
you" replied Sheridan, 81 was thinking
of something else"
SIRE. one word" said soldier one
day to Frederick the Great when pre-
/ senting 10 him request for the brevet o
eutepant. 1T you say two answered
the king, Il will have you hanged.
Sign cried The soldier. The king S. AIRED
whiatied, and signed.
, A WESTERN Coroner's Jury returned
; verdict that the deceased came to hi
death from exposure What do yol
{ mean by that?" asked relative of til
dead man, :" there are two etholes i
: his skali" The Coroner replied, with
| waiFe OF the hand" Just so he died froI
j; exposure to b'lllets."
TIE way in which the South Sea Il
lander satisfied case CT conscience,
ti.is: The missionary had rebuked biz
foT the sin OF polygamy, and he was yer
much grieved After Cay or two he re
JWned, bis face radiant with joy. u
Ill right now-one wife; me very goo
Christian" what did you do with III
other:' asked the missionary. lie ca
her up"
4 SAN FRANCISCO school teacher r,
t ceived the following: 81 hope as to IN
i John, you will fog him just as offin 8
y you kin. aeas a bad boy-is John. A
l. tho I've bin in the habit of teacbn biz
K myself, it seems to me he niver Will lar
anithiug-his speIis is ottragously d
n tishent. Wallop HIM well, ser, and 70
/ will receiv my thanks. p. S. What a.
:, counts for John bein SIGH scholar is thu
J ne Is ny sun 10y my wife's fust husband
5 an amusing story is told of hackpal
: at Newport, r. la jealous Methods
4 by the way-whO last year donned th
= Quaker C st and brOadbrim, and meetin
;. the sb-colored visitors at the depo
u meekly asked, VIII thee have a carris ge
! Cad To patronize brother, as ne expec
{ ed, they 1lled up his vehicle immediatel
!, when, to the amusement OF the bystant
:, ers, he dTawled out, - Where's M0u's ba,
gage?" 1t is needless to say that til
\ trick was seen through by the occupant
= vino left him in disgust and the funnie
u part OF us that to this day ne can't in
7 agine how they found him out