Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1870-07-21
All Sorts.
The French wine crop will be .oo'.

The great trouble with wine Is that SO
little of it is genu-wine.
England and Wales point with pride to
$4,000 violent deaths last year.
Dickens's last novel is too much for his
German translators.
A California lady has taken to silk
worms as pets, and raised large colony
for amusement.
A Western girl has been badly poisoned
by burning several hundred potato-bugs
in stove.
A Cleveland lady wants divorce be-
cause her husband spanks the baby.
A Knoxville amendment rejoices in a
new pair of No. 16 1-2 boots.
Cornell University is to introduce Chi
nese and Japanese among its classics.
Paris ladies wear the same sty lie of hats
as their ancestresses 105 years ayr.
A small Indiana town has but one
and eight base bali clubs.
Minnesota finds rattlesnakes unpleas-
antly numerous this hot weather.
A Western schoolma'am lately taught
the young idea how to shoot" by pistoling
an impudent fellow who insulted her.
A Western female college has prohibit
ted the girls from whistling in the halls,
which has heretofore made the professors
lives burden.
A York State septuagenarian is called
crazy by his family, because he is worth
$780, 900 and wants to marry a handsome
young widow.
Fruit cans have succeeded kerosene
lamps in some parts of Pennsylvania as
dangerous explosives.
ga controversy with friend is the
delicate term applied out in Nevada to
getting ones skull fractured two or three
times with a brick.
A green waiter on a Pullman car
drenched his passengers lately by unad-
visedly trying to fill the water tank
through one of the roof ventilators.
The gas went out at a Chicago prayer
meeting lately, and the ungodly audience
began vociferously whistling 'Shoo Fly"
The colored clerk of the Alabama House
has been Ku-kluxed by imprison ment for
peddling cigars without license.
The Sioux City and Omaha press de-
nounce the Wisconsin editors who didn't
visit them as "a band of strolling bush
whackers and beggars."
An Illinois saw mill proprietor showed
off the efficiency of his machinery to a
party of guests, by allowing the saw to
cut him into small pieces.
Viotoria's new granddaughter, born to
the Princess Christian of SchleswigHol-
stein, is simply named "Victoria Louise
Sophie Augusta Amelia Helena"
No American youth need travel far to
obey the saying of the Swedish states
man :-''Go forth, my son, and see with
what stupidity the world is governed."-
| n. Y. SIN.
Brother Bescher is said to be immense
ly tickled with the joke he played upon
Butler, at Woodstock but Ben says he is
not the only man who can't see it n.
Y. Com. Ad0.
a Chicago paper wrote up thrilling
account of the fatal fall of two trapeze
in advance, considering such ac-
cidents certain to come, and wishing to be
ahead on the news.
Dr. Evans, the American who has made
a fortune by filling royal teeth abroad,
got his grand Gordon" by caring The
Empress of Russia of "a bad fever.
A Wisconsin gentleman insisted upon
putting himself on the free list of II oirens
by crawling under the canvas lately, and
in a debate with the gentlemanly and
"rhane prnnriAto"s woe gathered TO bis
fathers.
A representative of an English blooded
family, Capt. Sir Claude de Crespigny,
who leads Joyous life in India with his
regiment, has lately given his friends a
10000 rupee breakfast at Lahore, Which
was brought out from Paris, express.
A California lady has torn up her faith
er's will, which disinherited her from
marrying against his wishes, nutwlt h.
standing he had subsequently, heco'"e re
oouciled and given her an $4,000 ra'ch.
A lawsuit is the result.
Some animalthropist fisherm,L declares
that trout wiggle after their capture from
ecstasy, not agony. They have come from
the water which contains httl" ox} zen TO
the air which contains much, aut 1t TX
:
Mrs. WeIch, of New York, doesn't be.
lieve in the cspsus aud told the mars hal
so " in words and fignres as follows, tc
wit :" "Wot have l to do wild the Guvern
mont? Are yez the Government? An.
swer questions, is it? Divil wan Of
me and don't ye stand in that door long
or may be the Government will lose hi:
scalp, and it may be the tail of his coat
Out wild yez !"
A Pennsy lvania poet who wrote ii
some tender lines addressed to his love-
1--WE will hallow her grave with oul
tears" was surprised at call from Hen
rietta's brother next morning armed will
a club, and who extended stirring invi
head broken, which he declined. The
local paper made the line read, 1--WE will
harrow her grave with our steers"
The Paris Opera House will not be
completed before the end of 1872, but its
exterior viii be finished by the coming
Fete Napoleon, August 10Th, and the in
terror will be perfected without the
knowledge of the outer world. The es
Inmates for its completion are 100000
francs. A scheme to work the scene
changes by an elaborate continuance con
trolled by a keyboard has been aban
doned, which will save 100000 francs
Some wag at Cincinnati announced
that certain excursion by rail was to bt
free to the public, and that luncl
would be served. Long before train tim,
the lunch friends crowded the depot, anc
the managers were in despair. A plar
was devised, and an announcement mad,
which lured all the dead-beats on to
train just starting for another point, to b,
put off at way stations unless they pai(
their fare. Then the excursionists wen
off and had good time.
A New York philosopher PROFOUND
the following conundrums -" Will ex
perimenters succeed at last in manufac
turing pears and peaches out of thei
Elementary ingredients, so at fresl
fruit may be made to order in III lwint9r
Will balloons be regulated, and al
travelling rendered praoticablr, so tina
each man shall keep a balloon itched t
a stake by his doorstep, and horses an
boats thereafter be superfuous VIII