, 1870-01-26
a Ride WITH AN UNDERTAKEN
fhc Philosophy OF Expensive Eu.
neFAfs-flnAbnnd Whose Wife hus Il
Lorcr-W'1fe Whose Husband Inns a
StE<cthetAFt-AldeFm UNDER
takers ExperIence.
From fhe A.tc Ioyt Sttr

"A nJnHHf1
tnker's Experienced.
From he Asp Io,k Sun.
Oar ride With The urderthker came ah0nt in fhfs
wise: The undertaken undertook TO UNDERTAKE
ior lt1et6 OF ours aud az he was going from up
toTn IL . carriage On preliminary viait 10 Grrep-
wood. he offered 10 take rs along a. far A nur
onace--wh!eh IS as lar rs We should care 70 20
win nim or any other under1aker IN the direction
ne vas oound-aod We Accepted the otter. Wa
had hardly got under way when the underssker
po?nsea 70 an elegant brown stone MANSION and
"Ylu see that house therec We'll. bad thu
nea.ess @ Ioo " toni house you ever saw. Taey
tcaf:et 1fFe1 ton expired at the same moment: !:
Sentimental case-oorn together ana died 10.
Rether; Impressive lestou-sety. The parents
to me; no Init On expense; that's the sort.
dld ny best; sor up ORIGINAL dest4us; great
change. you see-sE1nt, both IN one eotl1n; un!sed
lots Of 'un,' and my taste nad experience. i.
was 9ra1d: handsolue eFectacle: handsome prof
Bi tals uma ne I'D tafued into Sixth avenue,
ard the aLdertaler, pointing 10 c,ruer grocery
OF large dimensions, said:
The man who Keeps that grocery has good
his only daughter. She wsa eighteen: engaged to
ne ma11ed over IL The CITY goveeuuent. mud the
npset everything picxlugs and stesltnss Included
y nas terrible blow. and the funeral was &C.
a Sc ,piss e company out
uers the Indtliaker bosed to a fat man who
psesed us n buggy, and then said. By Tay OF
-, ~ buried ~ wits four months ago. Have been
\ lew moments afterwsrd We struck into Broad
pared THenty ninth street. the undertaken pointed
to thst shotougnfaEe On the east, and said:
- ones bad hlR thing oTer there R'ch
ed to Nske big shoW Of grief; sent for me; /
FAY ne po,ut; made over q goo clean cash oa The
1vn;, Ha1 ~ ne man vas hatdsonels buried: he
conldut nave asked for anything better II he'd
knoTn What was eong on. True affection and
reel hea't-Rltef arc good for our Procession; bnt
one smother, for an nnlcrtaker."
How 90 !" We aeked.
,"W'hs, 1t stands to reason aud human na.ure.
Nere'a couple that have lots ol money aud nls-
err. They wlsh one another dead, and oil at
occe OF Que Of 'em Goe5. The others kind O.
lrtehtened. and wants 70 show er:ei. md. having
no afit( TO khoF, tsl back IN nothIEg but show
and depends On the undertaken 10 bling out the
ennlsms OF sorroR In stunning style. Don't Jon
We pretended not to Eer, a1d arycctcd to ,5shc,
Neve that snch things ever occur IN real itc,
WreIeat the undertaken waxed Tarm, and ex-
"Bnr tell 5on sucn cases are cnnmop. Here,
dflseF, turn Gown Fifth sFcaue. Come. III show
you where one Of those vsFy casss did occur. You
Twenty.second st,ees Wei, not it many s1 1saEs ~
agp a f1cn man lived and died there. Me and lis
ens- H!te be1ea ea, saeh other ne plaoo. sae had
tsn1ly, hut better for the undertaken. You see,
the more Wonau 3 glad her hu8bauds g dead. tue
Eote she II pretend 10 he sorry, a7d the more
money Snen spend When that Iaiy,a husband
died there Wese bad whispers arnu9d, bus she
sno&nered EN- oil under the mournns gear OF the
funeral. Il VAS 1mtlcnbe nade~we no
matter. u wont do to be too particular Ia these
thluga. EVIL co:n EuAIcat!o1s corrupt good uan
ners, Jou know! Ia, ha, ha!'
:" uoF DO thpEs 90" re nSLe1, "Theu wife
dies, leaving an lncoI aoaaIe husband with an
outside eweethea art 10 mo1rn her !ossT"
lhae depeCds good deal oa the man. Some
men are such brutes, no coarta and gyoss, that
they nave no sentiment, nor any sense o! pro-
p1etJ either. Snca men are bad fur ua. They
tumble their wives into the grave without regard
TO appearances. Bat 4 tue husband Il senttuen,
la, or scarY, or h}PocElte, be cone3 dos haod.
tome!y TO death, and gives bis wife corlia!
burial I've sometimes thought that the presence
OF TIC aweetaeaft At the tneesai he3ps .hlpRa
along, az the huthand would naturally wan. ner
to see how ha ndsone!y she'd be buried when her
turn came; hut that may be merely my fancy.
But an5hoF,' said the undeEtaser, with s1lernn
emnhas:s1 ~ tell you the1e8 w1cfedness In tn!s
town.
.. How do Jou like to bury publtc man, esy an
Alderman: :" We atfed.
"oh, that's 10 -" answered the undertaken, in
lonea OF disgust. ''Sttfl," he atdeu, "if You
know Jour neu, and the city government take
hold to pay decent respect In the memory OF the
o1.ttn4uished deceased,' and all that, You can
sonettnes makca pretty good thing out at It
But az gcreFnl thing, the city fellows grao
eTeIyth,rs, and don't leave an outRlde1 even 4
nickel show