Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-08-11
nsCELLANEoUs ITEM.

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n6CELLANEOUS uK1A
The shades Of night-window cur-
tains. -
TIN grsndest verse in existence The
universe.
FLow1Rs that are always falling on
Bachelors buttonA
Doss man lose HIS health when soIke.
body drinks it,
A MAxM for the salad season; Two
heads are better than one. 54
IT is said that the connecting link be-
tween the animal and vegetable is hash.
A GOOD kick out of doors, to some, is
better than all the rich uncles In the
world
AxHR1cANs are said to be the greatest
wearers of gloves of any nation in the
world.
A BOSTON saloon displays card on
which is, "No religious discussions allow
ed here"
"VAcuux CURE" IL the happy name
placed upon the door Of boarding house
In Boston. a@s
A LHcruRxR in New York il instruct
ing people how to distinguish mad dog
A bite Is good indication.
In Hebron, on the gravestone of Mrs.
Buel, is this peculiar verse:
Deer e tnou art and Justly dear.
One thought ehsll check the falling tear.
It 70 that 4 am free"
"IF should be drowned In This storm"
said soldier named Underwood, to the
captain of the ship, "could you get me
up an epitaph!" Eyes, I'd suggest this:
"Here Hes, escaped nom blood and slaughter,
Once Underwood, now under water"
Jimmy, my boy, take these eggs to the
store, and if you can't get quarter bring
them back. The boy went as directed, and
came back, saying. "Father, it takes me
to make trade. They all wanted them
for 40 cents, but screwed them down to
g."
A MAN, slightly pretentious, fond Of
display, and somewhat ignorant, recently
called the attention of some visitors to Q
snowy carpet on one Of his apartments,
with the remark, "There, gentlemen, that
is one of the best carpets Mr.. BrusssIs
eper mads!"
A JOURNALIST has been sojourning for .
fortnight in the White Mountains, and
says that he has enjoyed himself very
much, having fallen into six rivers,
sprained his ankle, skinned his face and
neck, and broken three ribs the first nine
days.
VISITOR. "Well, George, and what do
you mean to be when you have grown
up," George (promptly). IAN artist y
Visitor. "Well, then, you shall paint my
portrait" George. "Ahl but I mean to
paint pretty things."
WORD was sent to the City. Marshal of
Augusta that fellow was selling ltckers
from wagon In Market Square. He went
to arrest him and confiscate his stock, and
found himself the victim of an atrocious
pun. The man was peddling horse sohtpsI
A PoMPoUs individual walked up to
the Office of the Stockton House, Cape
May, one day recently, and with con-
siderable flourish, signed the book, and
exclaimed, "I'm Lieutenant-G Governor of
-" "That don't make any difference"
says the polite clerk, "yOu viii be treated
just a. well AZ the others"
SAID distinguished politician to his
son: Look .: me began a. an Alder
man, and here am at the top of the tree !;
and what is my rewards Why, when l
die my son will be the greatest rascal in
hopeful replied: eyes, dad, when you
die, but not till then"
A NEW story OF hotel charges A visitor
passed two days at q famous hotel st
Chantilly, and then called for his bill. At
sight of the sum charged he was furious.
"a hundred and ten francs for two
daysw he exclaimed; q hundred and
ten francs for two or three bad dinners
and two wretched nights passed in . bed
full of bugs!" "How,'' Were there
bedbugsf" said the hotel keeper In de-
light, "and I was going to forget them.
Give me the bill" The traveller handed
back the bill to the landlord, who added:
Bedbups a fraDnp