The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-10-27
SoissOrinotum.
A green grOcer-One who trusts.

ideas Of another and fancying them your
own. rIs '.l-.
The sting Of bee carries conviction
with it. 1t makes man bee-leavsr at
once.
Love has been defined as an insane de.
sire to maintain some other mans daugh-
ter.
Why cannot gentleman legally pos
sess short walking stickl Because it
can never be long to him.
Texas has new game. One man holds
the cards, another holds pistol, and the
coroner holds the inquest. . -
If a grapery is place to raise grapes
in, does it necessarily follow that gallery
is place to raise gals I'M .'
The French have women surgeons, and
they take of leg in such fascinating
way as to render it luxury.
81 believe in going to the bottom of
things" as the schoOlmaster said when he
laid a refractory pupil over his knee.
A Wisconsin clergyman invested quar-
terss salary in lottery in the hope of
getting the big prize, and drew a curry
comb.
A baby found on doorstep was care
fully laid in a basket with q $40 bill, and
a note saying, "When this is exhausted
more will be furnished" More money or
babies
A Dutchman, explaining the difference
between whisky and lager-beer, said "TOo
much visky is very pad, but too much
lager-beer is Shust enough" That's what
they all think.
"See, here, mister" said a predatory
youth who had just been driven up tree
by ferocious dog, "if you don't call that
dog away from here I'll eat up all your
apples, sure" .'.
A young Illinois gentleman while talk.
ing with the lady to whom he was engag-
ed asked to be excused moment, and
stepping out into the ball drew pistol
aud blew out his own brains.
h When you go into a printing Office be
Sure to pick up the latest papers and COM
mence reading out in loud tone. This
will enable the editor, foreman and print
ers to decide whether you are a good read
er or q poor one.
A woman finding herself unable to whip
her husband called to her son who was up
stairs, "William, come down and lick your
father, or else he'll be master of the whole
house," William didn't come.
The window of an oyster saloon on q
street in Brooklyn, New York, had on it
last week slip Of paper containing these
words: "Wanted, smart boy TO open
oysters 10 or Is years old" --
A young mau was sitting by his sweet
heart not long since, and being unable to
think OF anything else to say, asked her
why she was like tailorl "Because I
am sitting beside goose" was the reply.
Says the Psalmist: "He maketh nv
feet like hind's feet" A negro preacher
read it "hen'S feet" and proceeded to
say, ga hen in de henroost, when she falls
asleep, tightenS her grip SOS not to fall
of, and dat's how true faith, my bredren,
holds Oh to de rock.' .t by.
The New Haven Register says: "What
We know about gardening would be in.
teresting. The Senior has picked this
season three cucumbers, two cauliAowers,
seven ears of corn, and four tomatoes,
which cost him just four dollars and forty
eight cents EACH"
A Pennsylvania editor stated in par
agraph in bis paper that there was man
in town who had been drunk thirty.fye
years. He was called on by twenty. six
individuals who each claimed that he had
been personally insulted and who demand
ed, in the aggregate, twenty six apollo
gies. ~
They have found a puddle in Connecti.
cut which contains iron, soda, calcium,
carbonic acid gas, hydro-sulphuric acid,
oxygen and nitrogen gases, and organic
matter. 1t is thought to be sufficiently
nasty for anybody, and arrangements are
being made to erect buildings and start a
"watering place." -.,-ot
"A Boston man has been in business
there in one house for seventy five years.
He is ninety-fve years old and got all
ready to die just as the war broke out,
when the price Of cofins went up, SO he
concluded it would be money in bis pock.
ct to postpone it. And they haven't got
down enoug h since to warrant him a
cheap funeral. r ,a in + 5n'i 7-I1'|
A farmer who wished to invest, the no.
cumulation Of his industry in United
States securities, went to Jay Cooks Of
nee to obtain treasury notes. The clerk
inquired, "What denomination will you
have them =" Having never heard that
word used except to distinguish religious
sects, the farmer, after little delibera-
tion, replied: .Well, you NAV give ma
part in Old School Presbyterian, to please
the old lady, but give me the heft ont in |
Free Will Baptist"