The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-03-11
THE JOURNAL.
aAIkakanee.,,

4 H. ~ III y AAA@s
"Alkakange."
A correspondent Of the Chicago
Tribune gives the following comical
account of some recent Oecuranees
in the Committee of Ways and
Means:
"Here is an instance Of wisdom Of
this right noble committee
For several years there has ap-
peared on the tariff list an article
called alkakange, and by the name
1t was supposed to be some power
ful drug. and TO it was uniformly
attached a high duty. Many times,
when the puissant committee reach
ed this word, it was suggested to re-
duce the duty, but straight way the
high-tarif committeeman rose to
their feet and denounced snv at
tsmpt to interfere with the protec-
ton Of this valuable article.
Reduce the duty on alkakange2"
said Mr.. Kelly, and is it thus that
the wages and the Am-e-er-ek can
leay bereur are to be re-de-uced? Is
an inde-e-eus-te-re-y to be thus ruth
lessly exposed to foreign ce-ompe-
tition? I oppose the amendment
of this duty, and ceall eupon me be-
retheren of the kemeittee to ieOin
me-.
Up rises Horace Maynard:
4 move to raise the duties on al
kekange from sixty to sixshundred
per cent?
"'Oeh l smithereens. bedad hu-
lebeleor cries Dionysius Dennis o.
Mccarthy, of Syracuse, speaking in
the incest Portuguese accent is me
hearts delight and the perride Of
me kentry, alkakenge, to receive no
protection? Shades of Blarney and
Onandaga forbid it
am compelled, to vote against
any reduction of the -honored
duty an alkekange, says Shenck. At
this time, IL particular, it requires
our most delicate nurturingr
Mr.. Hooper puts his hand into
his rearward eoat-tail pocket, and
says he;
'Alkakange was regarded by
James Otis, SImuel Adams, Cotton
Mather and Oakes Ames worthy Of
the fostering care Of the nation.
Duty and tradition compel me to
vote for its retention; but at this
special juncture I do not feel called
upon TO say that it requires more
protection.
'The lumber forests Of Michigan,
says Austin Blair, 'nurmur through
their vast recesses, protect our tend
crest sister, the pride ofour solitude,
alkebange!r
~Now, few months ago, some Oh
stinate free-trader, coming to the
name 'alkakangc,' said aloud:
"What in the devil is Alkakange
anyhow
"DeOeS the geentell-mean neOt
kneowg said Kelly.
Here's freshness SAYS Austin
Blair.
"Bludanounsn cries Mccarthy,
did ye ever hear such ignerince?,
"Alkakanger says Maynard, need
never ask the friends Of our indust-
" to describe it.
But this implacable free-trader
sent for an unabridged dictionary.
and looking it all through, he found
no such word as dzkdkdHge. He cot
10 more inctruction from cvclo-
pedia. He asked in vain Of DR.,
Ure's DictiOnery Of Science and
Arts. The faces of the committee
grew very long. Some one suggest
ed that any druggists apprentice
could tell.
$50 they sent to New York for
first class chemist and paid him mile
age and per diem, and said he:
"Its my. belief that there's so
such thing in all the length and
breath Of the pharmacOp@iar
Here the high-tariff folks exhibi-
ted indications of collapse.
At last they raked out Of the gulf
of the government printing Office an
ancient proof reader and asked him
to account for aJkakange.
"He put on three pairs of spec
tacles and a green shade over his
eyes, and took up the printed list.
|WellP he said, this beats ma
ture and Gincral jackson, in whose
administration I was appointed.
Gentlemen, nineteen years ago, a
lot of quods, quoins, leads and old
type, that we used to ballast the tar
if forms with, riz up unexpected
throughout thefat matter Of the tariff
MSS, and they accidentally spelled
out the word alkakange. I spose
hat you have been laying big du-
lies on alabaRge ever sincer
"The old proof-reader put his |
hands to his hips, took of his spec
.acles, and laid down on the floor OF |
-he Ways and Means committee, |
md laughed, and rolled for the space |
of three-quarters Of an hour BY
he time he got up Kelley had been |
round to the government printing
office and had h N discharged.
"a special meeting Of the com
mittee was not at once called, and |
Mr.. Mccarthy rose:
81 move We, sur, that the article |
tqown as alkabange be put upon the
free list!
81 object, says Horace Maynard; |
move to substitute 500 per cent
q am weilling,' says Kelley in
leep basso' to be gueided in theis
sinstance by a preoper regeard for
5he eoDeineous Of me keolleagues,
md 1 second the meotion.'
~The next day Mr. Shenek arose
n the House and said that the com
nittee had mad a material reduction
n the tariff. AlkakuHgte had been
idded to the free list.
''Little Dickey rose up and objec-
5edr'
Power of IMAGINATION.