Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-03-03
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS

Words that burn-R Rejected com
munications.
Hogging set to music is the lat
ost definition of waltzing.
! Very fast men-Thoso who beat
their wives.
What is better than presence Of
mind in railway accident? Alb
ssnce ofbody.
; sEialffare on railroads is quite ac-
oeptable; but at hotel table quite
otherwise.
The way to make time pass rapid
lY-Raise row and get knocked
into the middle ofnext week.
"Mr. Conductors" asked a rail
road passenger "are you running
oa time to-day?" mo, sir; we
are running for cash"
1t is said that the more ladYs
waist is shaped like an hour glass,
the sooner her "sand of life" will
run out
a fond wife threw bottle of
hair renewer at her husbands head,
atwhich he said; "We must part
the dye is cast"
81 had rather not take a horn
with you" said a topper to a mad
bull; but the bull treated him to
two, and the topper got quite high.
Young ladies should be careful
not to get chaps on the lips. They
have been known to lead TO an af-
fiction of the heart.
A Connecticut manufacturer of.
coffin trimmings complains of dull
ness in business, He ought to be
protected. Down with quarrantines.
The New York Evening Express
asks why the East River is like two
Fepians on their way to visit an
Irish cook. Because they are 60
ing to Bridget
A Western editor, in response to
Subscriber, who grumbled that his
paper was intolerably damp, says
That is because there is so much
due on it,"
Said the conductor of a street
car, yesterday, to rural young la
dyt "Miss, your fare" "Well, if
| al, | don't want any ofyouf i'm
peynehee, sgtl SIG; &ka' upturu
ed hose.
The chimes of fashionable
church in Philadelphia pIayed"Shoo
Fly" "Not for joe" and "Im the
Girl that's Gay and Happy" at a
recent wedding,
An Indiana paper tantalizes its s
readers with this atrocity; "Have |
you heard OF the man who got !
shot?' "Got shot? No, how did {
get etshot?' "IIe bought EN-" +
When an ill-natured fellow was :
trying to pick a quarrel with
peaceable man, the letter said: Il
never had a fuss with but one man
he was buried at four O'Clock it is /
now halfpast three. " "
A peddler calling out an old la s
dy to dispose Of some goods, in /
luired of her if she could tell him f
of any road on which no peddler
had tfaveled, as he would like to A
speculate a little with some old f,
5peetacles? "Yes," she replied,
'the road to Heaven" s.
The farmer whose pigs were so a
can that it took two Of them to
make a shadow, has been beaten II
BY another, who had several so c.
hin that they would crawl out r.
Trough the cracks in their pen-- Il
lie finally stopped that fun by ty r(
ng knots in their tails. 81
A clergyman asked some cliil- -,
lren, "Wly do we say. in the "
lords prayer, who art in Heav- =,
m since God is everywhere ?'- n
We saw little drummer boy who =,
eoked as if he could give an an Il
iwer, and turned to him for it, u
well little soldier, what say you?" !,
Because it's headquarters" y !,
A newIy-married lady in Vigo hi
Indiana, complained to her W
ma that on her reception day her Al
ard basket was overrun with cir m
.ulars from lawyers, announcing te
orms fordivoree. $50 absurd, you i
now, ma, before our honeymoon ST
5 over" "True, dear" replied o,
ma (who had been twice divorced) Il,
but I'd put them in a safe place, Ia
ou may find them useful in a year a
II two" m
Alta very successful seance in al
,incinnati the other night, a man l
urst into tears when the medium a
escribed very accurately a tall. an
lue-eyed spirit standing beside an
i'm, with light side.whiskers and as
is hair parted in the middle. s"Do
on know him Z" inquired man at m'
is side, in q sympathetic whisper. tiv
Know him? I guess 1 do" re on
lied the unhappy nan. wiping his
YES. "He was engaged to my wife. tn
he hadn't died he wo1ld have f9l
cen her husband instead Of me- DO
George George p hGmurmured to
voice choked with emotions tai
why, why did you peg outY'
----.soa--- crC
- An excellent rebuke was that sin
Al ) ! II,