Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-12-29

Miscellaneous.
"A Cheque-mate-A wife.
A Grave Business-Dying

"A Grave Business--Dying.
THE rest of the week"-Sunday.
What anglers often catch--A cold.
The Mutual Life, of Chicago, pays its
profits to policy-holders only.
San Francisco has suit in progress
which is conducted by $40 lawyers.
What class of people most object to
heavy rains? Drivers, OF course. a
When does a man impose upon him
self? When he taxes his memory.
A verdict of one cent damages was
awarded the other day in libel suit against
the Louisville Courier-Journat.
--Rev. VIM. III. Patton's Advice-'To
each fellowman we say: Go thou and DO
likewise"-Insure in the Washington.
An unsuccessful politician says the
most difficult vacancies for him to fill are
the vacancies in his own iamilys stom
achs.
whats the difference between the
North Pole and the South Pole?'' why,
all the difference in the world" replied a
lady, unwittingly; and that's the answer.
"A certain writer thinks that If the
proper way to spell tho is though and
ate Eight" and bo 'beau," the proper way
to spell potatoes is .poughteighteaux y
The new way ofspelling softly is 'psought-
ly." $3.50 af
Here is a touching confession from the
| editor of the Glens Falls On. W RepuJh-
| can. "Our THANKSGIVING turkey was fine
| bird; it had scales on It's back, and was
taken from barrel labelled No. 3 mack
erel'"
| Our friend Speller the other day saw
the inscription United we Conquer lie
was SO struck with the want OF 0rlhogra-
ply, that he altered it himself OF
course" he said, "it means united, we con-
cur, that's it"
"A Pair of Shears
| Two LAWYERS when knotty case was DER,
| Shook hands, and were a. friendly as before.
Wounds ~ said the client, II would fam know
You can be friends, who were such foes Just nowr'
Thou fooll" said one, I'VE lawyers. though SO
keen,
Like shears, ne'er cut ourselves, but what's be-
"A young lawyer of Philadelphia
wrote to an old limb near Chicago thus
as there an opening in your part of the
country that l can get into?" Answer
There is an opening in my backyard,
about thirty feet deep, no curb around it.
If that will suit, come on
| III is Slateu lndt TWO VI DouucI noisen
made the fastest trotting time OF the season
of 1870, on November 16. Joe Elliott
trptted mile in 2:1S11a, and Pocahontas in
Pic Each trial was made in harness.
Dexter's time, 2:l71s, has not yet been
equaled. .a.a. f,it.. 81 /, s..
| The Louisville Courier Journal in
giving list of forty murders in that city
within the last thirty years, significantly
remarks that, " at all times, in peace OF
war. It is a notable fact that by far the
larger proportion of these murders re-
suited directly from intoxicating liquors
7. Detroit keeps her High School in an
old brick building built in 1922, as the first
capitol for the then Territory of Michigan
4 and the other day in digging for founda
ton to an addition to this structure, there
was unearthed the cornerstone, and. being
opened, the enclosed tin box revealed the
contents of coins and papers undimmed by
time.
The Cincinnati Enquirer makes the
following correction of an error which oc.
CURED in its publication of the President
message: "a typographical error of much
importance occurred in that portion of the
message, published yesterday, which said
that the course pursued by. the Canadian
authorities toward the Irishmen of the
United States has not been marked by q
friendly feeling The word Irishmen
should be fishermen" WtH
Some funny correspondent of the chi
cdgo Adrdnce tells this anecdote to that
journal: "A good many years ago liber
al clergyman Of Boston met DIR. Woods
and undertook to make himself merry q