Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-01-27
VOL. ID. NO. u.
Funny Paragraphs.

Josh Billings has ''never heard of tn,
same man hankerin for some billed crow
times"
Why is kissing your sweetheart like
eating soup with fork? Because it takes
a long time to get enough.
The New York Evening Post SAYS that
from the number of weddings occurring
nowadays it will hardly do to say thai
marriages are contracted"
-"Mother, said Jemina, "Sam wants to
come courting me tonight" "Well, what did
you tell him?'' ''Oh, 1 told him he might
come felt anxious to see how he would
act"
--''Going? Why to the opewa, of course.
Always go to the opewa. Doosid nice, yah
know. Pawepa Wosa YER fine. yaw know
splendid voice and bust always 60 to
the opewa."
AT a ma riage ceremony in Wexford,
r. l., lately, the groom became impatient
during the extended prayer. and interrupt,
ed the clergyman with-"Elder, amt that
bout enough"
Said younster in high elee, display
ing his purchase to bosom friend on the
sidewalk: 1.-TWO cocoanuts for ten cents
that will make me sick tomorrow, and !
won't nave to 60 to school
Josh Billings on preaching: 81 always
advise short sermons, especially on a hot
Sunday. If a minister kant strike lie in 40
minutes, he has either got poor eimlet or
else he is boring in the rong place"
"A few years age an ingenious gentle
man managed to get drunk free of expense
almost daily in the streets of London by
falling down In fit, with placard on his
breast. "Don't bleed me, but give me a
glass of brandy and water"
"A sailor passing through a graveyard
saw on one of the tombstones, 81 still live. "
This was too much for Jack. who shifting
his quid, calculated: swell, I've heard
say there are cases in which a man may
lie; but if was dead, I'd own it"
"A clergyman last summer visited the
celebrated Hoosac Tunnel, and encounter
ed a sprightly looking Irishman. who, in
reply to the question, "Do you think this
work will pay ?" promptly replied, Faith,
no But thin, it'll be a great ornament to
society,""
A handsome young bride Was observed
to be in deep reflection on her wedding
day. One of her bridesmaids asked her
the subject of her meditations. Il was
thinking" she replied, (which of my old
beaux should marry if should become
widow"
--Hair-cloth shirts, TO take the place of
hoops, have recently been imported. There
is a fiounce around the bottom in round
plaits on all except the front bAadth, and
the upper part of the back has rolls of the
material, for quarter of yard, in iInita.
tion of the hustle.
he o~1r Is i, L.
watched the arrivals at the masked ball in
New York were indicate: Look at them
legs-fifteen dollars pair T. Take out
that sawdust y .Give that boy pair of
breeches !" were the salutes to the scantily
attired ladies as they entered the festive
hall.
"A German thus describes an accident
"Vonce, long vile ago, vent into mine
abble orchard to climb bear tree to get
some beaches to make mine vrow q bud
ding NIT; and ven gets on the tobermost
branch l vail from the lowermost limb. NIT
to stove mine outsides in"
A colored man engaged to answer &
bell at residence in Indianapolis OF : ~
Years Day, was discovered attepi ipI
prevent the entrance of a gentle ..ho
uiu not tcnlcI HIS ne iduN : ecUhSul
him. but the boy excused himself by say
ing that he thought she would lose money
for good many had already gone in with
put tickets -
A California lady, indignant at the
manner in which Miss Dickinson talked
about the girls of the Pacific coast, pro-
iuces the following:
of the girls on this coast from Miss Dickinson g
tongue,
stranger might judge in harsh manner;
But We know the POOR thing has girls of her
And that's what's the matter with Anna.
--"Who's that gentleman, my little man?"
was asked of an urchin.
THAT one with the spike-tailed coat?"
"Yes. was the response.
"Why, he's brsvet uncle of mine"
slows that?" was asked
Because he's engaged to my aunt Mary"