Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-06-16
Pepper Pods.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

II yu hev got spirited ana noble
boy, appeal tew his generosity; if yu
hav got heavy and sullen one, appeal
tew his back.
A CRATE menny oy our people go
abroad to improve their msnds who
hadn't got emmy minds when they war
at home; knowledge. like charity, shud
begin at home, then spred.
Aflickshuns are the compliments that
Heaven pays to the virtewous..
Nobody but a phool will spend his
time trieing tew convince phOoi.
Time IL like money, the less we hav
ov it tew spare the further we make it
go.
The tongue IL really very fast
member of the body politick; he duz
all the talking and twO-thirds ov the
thipking
There il menny person who kan set
mouse trap tew perfeckshun, but, not
satisfied with sich small game, under
take tew trap for bears, and git ketched
by the bears. Moral-studdy yure
genius, and stick tew mice.
"Let him GO, mi son." sed an an
cient father to hiz boy, who had caught
a young rabbit, and when he gifts big
ger ketch him agin." The boy did as
he was told, and haz been lookin for
that rabbit ever since.
The world owes all its energys and
rfnement tew luxurys-digging roots
for breakfast and going naked for
clothes, IL the virtewous innocence OF a
lazy savage.
Thare IL lots ov folks who eat well
and drink well. and sleep well, and yet
are sick all the time-these are the
folks who alwuz enjoy poor health.
A person with little smattering ov
learning. IL a good deal like a hens
egg that has been sot on for a short
time, and then deserted by the hen--it
is spite for hatchin out ennything.
"People ov good sense are those
whose opinyuns agree with ours.
There IL CRATE deal ov magnificent
poverty in our big citys-people who
eat klam soup out ov tin basin with a
gold spoon.
The place whar poverty, virtew and
luv meet and worship together, IL the
most sacred spot in this universe.
Experience don't make man so bold
az it duz SO careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never haz
playspell or frolik; it iz stiff from
morning till night, from top to bottom,
like sled stake.
Thare amt but very little ginewine
good sense in this world ennyhew, and
what little thare il amt in market-it
IL held for a dividend.
Thoze who have made up thare
minds tew lead a life of enjoyment
will find the following recipe CRATE
help tew them: "To one ounce oy
plezure add pound ov repentance. "
Adversely IL a poultess which re-
duces our vanity and strengthens our
virtew-even boy never feels half Sc
good az when be haz bin spanked and
sot away to cool.
Pedantry iz the science Ov investing
what little yu know in one kind oy
perfumery, and insisting upon sticking
that under every mans knoze whom
you meat.
Lieing iz like trieing tew hide in a
fog, if yu muye about about yure in
danger of humping yure he'd agin the
truth, and as soon az the fog blows
oph yu are gone ennyhow.
Marrying an angel il the poetry oI
marriage, but living with her IL the
proze, and this il all well enough if the
poetry hain't spite our relish for the
proze.
The man who lives on hope mus
pick the bones of disappointment.
The devil il sed to be the father oV
lies. If this IL so, he haz got large
family, and CRATE menny promising
children amung them.
Life il like a glass NV beer, froth al
the top, oil in the middle, and settling;
in the bottom.
i We should live in this life az tho WI
war walking on glaze ice, liable to fal
at emmy moment, and tew be latfed a
bi the bystanders.
Men, if they amt too lazy, liv sum
times till they are 80, and destroy th'
time good deal az follows; the fus
80 years they spend throwing stuns a
a mark; the second 30 they spend ex
amining the mark tew see WHARF tn
stuns hit. and the remainder IL divided
| in cussing the stun-throwing bizsines
, and nussin the rumatizz.
This setting down and folding GU
! arms, and waiting for something =
turn up, il just about az rich asPekula
ton az going out in 400 acre lot, SET
l ting down on sharp stone, with
pail between our knees, and waitin
: for COW to back up and be MIXED.
S @ "Man," says Adam Smith, - q