The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1870-05-11
4tAs and 8tthie..r,riss.

JOINT educauon-Oymnasucs
Country seat-A milking stool.
The Oldest revolver-Revolving time.
The ''Home Nelodist"-The baby.
Natures weapons--Blades of grass.
Counter attraction Pretty saleswomen.
All servant girls are subject to the hire
law.
The question of to-day What's for
dinner9
Imaginary scholsrs-The pupils of your
eyes.
When is a newspaper the sharpesti =
When it is fled
Query-Can q man make a square meal
on q round steakG If he has enough Of It.
Misfortune was his crime-success
would have silenced censure-
The more human being is, the more
he deserves our pity.
The best part of beauty is that which
picture cannot express.
he who saves little things can be liberal
in great ones.
Forgive thyself nothing and others
much.
Impudence-To ask lawyer if he ever
told lie.
Good place for nursery-The Rocky
Mountains.
A crystal wedding-marrying glass
eye"
A silver wedding-marryingan an old maid
of sixty.
An iron wedding-marrying a black
smith
Wooden weddlng-marrying block
head
A golden wedding-marrying for mon
ey,
A paper wedding-marrying an editor.
A tin wedding-marrying a milkman
Aquatic sports-The race of milkmen
for the nearest hydrant.
Motto for a rejected suitor-He wooed,
but she wouldn't. He cooed, but she
couldn't.
Those in the lumber trade to a certain
extent plank down their money.
To ascertain the weight of horse put
your toe under the animals feet.
The best thing in the bed Of the ocean
The sheet anchor.
Stockings are now darned by machinery
and they are darned nice.
If you want to have chairs in fashion
these days, you must have greenbacks.
One bumper at parting, as the drunk.
ard said when he ran against the post.
The woman questien-Where did yoT
buy your back hairl
The prim evil forest was situated in the
Garden of Eden
Although the milkmaid has passed away
made-milk hasn't.
Walters epitapb-He couldn't wait any
longer, so he went. rre
Lovers, like armers, get along very wei
until they are engaged.
What should a clergyman preacl
about2-About fifteen minutes.
'sSuffering from wet groceries," is tn
polite Fame for drunk in Chicago.
Forgive half an injury and forget III
rest-you win be bravely revenged.
Take care how you plow and your ploy
viii take care of you.
He that blackens others does not white
himself.
Whatcomes from the heart goes to til
heart.
Truth may bo suppressed but nc
strangled.
The two questions in Chicago-"Ar
you married p "When did you get di
vorced2"
Josh Billings says II am violently op
posed tew ardent sperrits as bevridgt
but for manufacturing purposes, / think
little Of it tastes good.
Bob, how is your sweetheart gettin
along p Pretty well she says / needn
call any more"
Anna MariaStory was recently MAJ
ried to Robert Short. A very pleasan
way of story short.
Why are the girls in Missouri alway
sweet? Because they are No. lasses
Why is a solar eclipse like a woma
whipping her boy? Because it's hidini
Of the san,
To what color does Hogging change
boys complexion ? 1t makes him yell-O
Watson wrote Beautiful Snow. Masset
wrote Beautiful Rain. Who will give u
Beautiful Hail, Lovely Lightning, an
Gorgeous Thunder?
A debating society had under consider
alton the question, "Is it wrong to ehea
lawyerY The decision arrived st wai
NO, but impossible
A lawyer in certain city in this STATE
not remarkable for his cleanliness Of per
son, appeared at party a while ago wit
a rose IN his button hole
Where do you suppose It come from
said he to brother lawyer who was sd
miring it.
The latter looked up and down the en-
tire length Of the questioner. and wit
great deliberation responded
Why. I suppose it grew there r'
Fond mother-'''And what would John
ny do IL mamma were TO die?" Eat u
all the sugar ~
A schoolmaster sand of himself, 81 al
like hone sharpen q number of blades
but wear myself in doing it."
Solitude is the name of all that is goo
within us: The world STAINS what II talk
and the more.W withdraw from it tn
better we are.
A correspondent says there is no news
paper in his town but there Is q ladies
work society that answers the same pun
pose.
"A wOuld-be wit asked his uncle II th
tolling of bell did not put him in min
of his latter end. "No sir" he replied
''but the rope puts me in mind of yours.
''Say, Pomp, where You get dat ne1
hati" ''Why, at de shop. Of course,
''What is de price of such an article q
dat 2" ''I don't know, SAM don
know; the shopman wasn't dar."
A hardy seaman, who had escaped on
of the great recent shipwrecks upon ou
coast was asked by q good lady how h
felt when the waves broke over him. II
replied, "Wet, ma'am, very wet"
The opinion is being accepted by man
good farmers that close manure cellar
under barns have bad effect upon th
animals, as well as upon the hay an
grain above. a manure shed is a bette