Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-01-25
HUMOROUS,

Ladies' cuffs-boxes on the ear.
Blind-man's buff is the hardest color to
see.
Bookkeeping in one Iesson-ion't lend
EN-.
Why are kisses like creation? Because
they are made out Of nothing, but prove
to be very good.
Speaking of the holidays, a Nevada
paper says: ''Pinfeathers with a little
meat attached, cost a dollar Healludes
TO chickens.
A young lady went to a photograph art
list recently, and wished him to take her
picture with an expression as if compos-
ing poem.
4 vivid idea of the weakness of chicken
soup was conveyed in wag's query to his
wife at dinner: Cant you coax that
chicken to wade through the soup once
mOre!n
A man being awakened by captain of
a passenger boat, with the announcement
that he mustn't occupy his berth with his
boots on, very considerably replied, 'Oh,
it won't hurt EN-; they're an old pair. -
An Irishman went to live in Scotland
for short time, but didn't like the coun-
try; 81 was sick all the time was there, !"
said he, "and if | had lived there till this
time I'd been dead a year ago"
Little three-year old Mary was playing
very roughly with the kitten-carrying it
by the tail Her mother told her that she
would hurt pussy. "Why, no l won't, "
said she; "I'm carrying it by the handle. y
While two men stood surveying the
Vanderbilt monument, one of them
queried: "Well, what does he want of a
monument" ''What for 2" returned the
other-"why, he's perfectly able to have
il - The whole story.
A Scotchman, having hired himself to
a farmer, had a cheese set down before
him that he might help himself. The
master said TO him, "Sandy, you take
long time to breakfast ''In throth,
MASTER he answered, ga cheese O'chis
size is nae sac soon eaten as We may
think"
Two little girls were heard one morn
ing engaged in a dispute as to what their
''mothers could do.n This dispute was
ended by the youngest child saying :
% Well, there's one thing that my mother
can do that yours can't-my mother can
take every one of her teeth out at once. ="
A new physiological discovery has
been made by young man-namely, that
the pulse of young ladies generally beats
stronger in the palm of the hand than at
the wrist As to more elderly females,
even little boys know 10y stern experience
that the palm of the maternal hand beats
awful strong
Private Malloy (goaded to madness by
the goose step)-' COrpril O'Shaughness,
your honor av was to call We a dirty
spalpheen o'miscry, what would l git -
Corporal Faith, it'd bet round dozen. "
Private Malloy-"An' av l only thought
itI' Corporal-Divil a harm, so long as
We don't spake it. Private-''Thin l
on'y think, it Corpril.
A party of countrymau recently went
to Louisville to visit the theater and see
the lions generally. During the evening
the party were standing on a street corner,
when several hOrsc-Cars, with COlOred
lights, come in sight. George said
one of them, 'let's go home in the morn
ing; darn my cats if I'm going to stay in
a place that is so sickly that they have to
haul their drug-stores around on wheels y
Az important bill has just been intro
duced into the Assembly of Pennsylva,
MIA. 1t prohibits the carrying of pistols,
whether loaded or unloaded, unless a GER
tificate of the mayor Of a city or from a
Justice of the peace is obtained. The law
further requires all persons obtaining such
permits to register their LANES, their bust
ness, and to specify the motive in carry
ing such pistol, and that if any injury
shall result to a person by the use of a
pistol, the presumption of law and fact
shall be that the person using such pistol,
and causing thereby bodily injury, mali
Ciously intended TO kill the person so in
iured, unless he can prove to the satisfac-
ton of the jury that he used said pistol in
the necessary protection of his person.
| Tur man who discovered that Paducah