The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-03-18
THE LAWYERS AND THE CAT.

L
Two Arkansas lawyers were domes-
ticated in rude hotel OF country
inn. The hotel was crowded, and the
rooms allotted TO our two heroes was
also occupied by six or eight others.
Shakedown beds. enough to accommo-
date the guests, were disposed about
the room, against the four walls, leav-
Ing an open space in the center Of the
apartment.
Judge Clark lay with his head to
the north, on one side, and Judge
Thomas lay with his head to the south
on the other side of the room. So fai
as that room was concerned, it nigh,
be said that their heads represented
the north and south poles, respective.
ly.
All the other beds in the room were
occupied. The central part of the
room was deemed neutral ground, in
which the occupants of the different
beds had equal right. Here, in pic.
turesque confusion, lay the boots, hats
and coats and breeches Of the sleepers.
There were no windows, and though
the door was open, there being no
moon, the night was very dark in thai
room
The WHY lawyers, who had been OPP
posing counsel in case tried in the
town court that day, and had opposed
each other with the contuinacy OF wild
pigs, were now the very incarnation
Of meekness, for when the hungry
swarm of mosquitoes settled down and
bit them on the one cheek, they slowly
turned the other to be bitten also.
Blu: hush! harkI A deep sound
strikes the ear like a rising knell +
"Me-ow-owW
Judge Clark and Thomas were wide
awake, and sitting bolt upright in IN
instant. Again the startling cry! Eye
ow, ye-oww
There's a d---d eatw whispered
Clark "Scat, youl' hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these demon.
strations, but gave vent to another
yowl. "Oh, Lordw cried Clark, al
can't stand this! Where is she, Thorn.
as" "On your side of the room some
where" replied Thomas. "No, she 4
on your side, said Clark. "Ye-wo-ow-
ow" There, told you she was on
your side" they both exclaimed in a
breath. And still the "yoww went
on.
The idea now entered the heads OF
both the lawyers, that by the exercise
Of certain strategy they might be en-
abled TO execute certain flank move
ment on the cat, and totally demoral-
ize him. Practically each determined
to file "motion TO squash" the cats
attachment for that room. EacL kept
his plan to himseH. and, in the dark
unable to sec each other, prepared for
action. Strange as it may appear, it is
nevertheless true, that the same plan
suggested itself to both. In words,
the plan would be about rs follows:
The yowler is evidently looking and
calling for another cat, with whom he
has made an appointment. I viii imi-
tate cat, and this cat will think the
other cats around. This cat will come
towards me, and when he shall have
arrived within reach, I'll blaze away
with anything can get hold of, and
knock the mew-sick out of him.
So each of the portly judges. noise
lessly as cream comes to the surface of
the milk, hoisted himself onto his
hands and knees, and hippopotamus
fashion advanced to the neutal ground
occupying the central portion Of the
room. Arriving there, Judge Clark
selected boot-jack, and Judge Thom-
as heavy cow-hide boot, from the
heap, and settled themselves down to
the work
Clark frightened his grip on the boot
jack, and throwing up his head, gave
vent to a prolonged and unearthly,
"Ye-ow-ow!' that would have reflect
ed credit upon ten of the largest cats.
"Aha," thought Thomas, who was not
six feet away, "he's Immediately close
around. Now I'll inveigle him!" and
he gave the regular dark night call OF
a feminine cat.
Each of the Judges now advanced a
little closer, and Clark produced a
questioning "Ow-owr Thomas an
swered by reassuring "Pur-ow! pur-
owp and they advanced towards each
other little more.
They were now within easy reach,
and each imagining the cat had but a
moment more to live, whaled away,
the one with his boot, and the other
with his boot-jack. The boot took
Clark square in the mouth, demolish-
his teeth, and the boot-jack came down
on Thomas bald head just as he was
in the midst of triumph "Ye-ow?"
When lights were brought the cat
had disappeared, but the catastrophe
was in opposite parts of the room. with
heels in the air, swearing blue streaks.
-Star Spa,,gled Banner.
OUaH.-The ending letters cough, y
which is such terror to foreigners, is
shown up in its several recommendations