davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17

THE WRONG WINE.-Although the
first recorded miracle in the New Testa-
ment WAS the converting of water into
wine at a marriage ceremony, it is new
ertheless not always safe to imbibe, even
at a wedding, unless you know some
thing Of tho vintage. Mistakes will
happen, as was the case not long since
with the Rev. DR.. -, of Newbury-
port, who was called down from his
chamber to marry couple. The hour
was late, and the ministers wife, who
had retired for the night, did not rise t0
witness the ceremony, but gave hel
husband particular directions for the
entertainment OF the wedding guests
"Don't forget to pass the cake and wine
Doctor" said she. 1.-THE cake il in the
coruer cupboard, and you'll fnd the
wine on the third right hand shelf in
the side -board.'
The Doctor promised obedience, and
putting on his garments. went down
to perform the ceremony. When he re.
turned to his chamber, half all hour
later, he found his vito sitting up in
Ted, with an anxious expression OH her
face.
Doctor" she cried, "did you give
them any winec" .@
Certainly, my dear, just ~ you told
me-"
"Not from the decanter on the third
shelf Of the side board?"
THAT is exactly where you directed
me to find it, wife,
Dear, dear Did they drink much
ofit?" sa@
why, yes, they emptied thei'
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17

PLANT TRGEs.-TAe Country Gen
tlcman says that the increase of timber
will do more to repopulate the woods,
groves and lawns with birds. and thus
help to stay the insect plague, than ali
the laws that have been enacted for the
preservation of rds. There j. one 9TH
particularly cvergreens for wind breaks,
aud that Is to abate the snow bank nui-
sauce. In many sectione of this state
travelling is often quite difficult, some
time DANGEROUS, and frequently impos-
sible for days together. and this nui-
sance will continue, and even increase.
until some connected effort at tree plant
Ing is made.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17

glasses"
"Whnt shall We do o.-Doctor, I made
a mi-tasse--it was ipecao wine yon gave
them. Oh, how sick they must be!
Do, dear, put on your cloak aud go right
after them-they can't have got very
far" &aa@
The minister found his bridal party
ut the corner of the next street.
"What made you drink the wine?'
he asked, Gould n'tyou tell by the
taste tha. there was something wrong
about its'
The bridegroom answered between
his qualms:
"She whispered to me that 1t tasted
dretful queer, but told her twas bc-
cause mc ,ros getting married ~
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17
GOOD FARM EOR SALR.

TIME FINEST IMPROVED FARM in Cedar
i county, for sale. Is situated u miles west
OF Tiptou, and consists of eighty acres all un-
der fence cone hundredr DIS of which Is hedge),
and divided into four fields.
On the farm j. n never falling spring, and
two wells-one at the house and the other at
the barn. An orchard of 100 hearing apple
cherrns .. 'ne crrn ,ns, ehoes also nums
goOseberries, and grapes Fifteen acres Of the
land contain a splendid growth of young tim
contains six rooms, pantry. closets, and pres
ses; under which is agood dry cellar, imrervi-
ous to frost. new bank barn, size Skis feet,
ling for l6 head of horsee. Also all necessary
outbuidings. such as sheds, sites. wOodhouse,
SmokehOuses, sc. Also new picket fence
dressed and painted. enclosing house yard and
garden. 4 public road passes the buildings.
For price and terms enquire of the subscri
Der, living on the farm.
Sept. lst, 1865. ClIAS. 8. FUNK.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17

THE TooTHACHE.-An exchange
gives the following: "My dear friend,'
said H., 81 can cure your toothache in
ten minutes" How? how ?'' in4uir-
ed. Do 1t in pity" ''fnstantly,' said
he. "Have you any alun?' Yes
"Bring it and some common SALT
They were produced. My friend pull
verized them, mixed them in equal
quantities, than wet small piece of
cotton, causing the mixed powder to ad-
here said he, "ifthat does not cure you
I will forfeit my head. You may tell
this to every one, and publish it every
where. The remedy is nfallible.' 1t
was as predicted. On the introduction
of the mixed alum and salt | experience
ed a sensation Of coldness, and with it
(the alum and salt | cured the torment
ofthe toothache.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17

SALTIN COOKING VEGErAcLEs.-If
one portion of dish Of vegetables be
boiled in pure water, and the other in
water to which little salt has been
added, a decided difference may be OBJ
served In the tenderness, flavor, and, il
potatoes, mealiness of the two. Onions
are probably more improved by being
cooked in salt water than any other
vegetable. Much of their unpleasant
sreH is taken away, and peculiar
swee ness and improved aroma are de-
cidedly apparent Salt. hinders the
evaporation Of the soluble and navoring
principles OF vegetables.
A Connecticut farmer going on a spree
gave his pigs large quantity Of meal.
telling his wife he had given them
enough to last till he Came back. if they
were prudent Of it.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-17
S!

s.!
N. BEACH,
Undertak. -, Upton, Iowa.
Having recently purchased n large assor,-
ment of COFFIAS, consisting of
METALLIC -- ..r
.. 49,. CASE.
VELVET FINISH.
WALNUT AND PINE,
10 n han then 81 sa5 rate
this market. They are constructed in various
Styles and selections can be made to suit cir
cumstances. Particular attention will be Civ
UNDERTAKING,
and all calls promptly filled without the usual
In order to give the public an idea Of the USE
fulness of the Metallic Case, the following is
inserted: Il
ST. LOUIS, April 70. 1867.
( MEsSRS CRANE, BREED d Co.--Gentlemen:-
On saturday last we We're CALLED upon to take
charge of the remains of II child of one of orr
citizens, which had been removed from Quin-
cy, Ill. TO deposit in the Bellfontaine Gene
terry. The child died about four years ago and
oSflsa 81 saus = nts ~
When the lid was removed, on Saturday last,
the face, as visible through the glass, was in n
most perfect state of preservation. We con-
slider this as illustrative only Of what can al
ways be accomplished with your Metallic Bur-
ial Cases. when proper care is taken in sealing.
When used with Schollay's Patent Beodoriz-
er, no circumstances rs to temperature or dis
ease, need prevent them from being a II that is
claimed by you; safeguards from contagion
and from intrusion adapted to transportation
indispensable to the healthiness and cleanli-
ness CT vaults; enduring for generations.
Yours ETC.,
JOHN A. SMITHERS 4 BRO. Undertakers.
No. 5l7 Chestnut ST., st. Louis Mo.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
nL0O3iIv. YO,SG GGll.s,

Middle aged ml'rons, those NJ the critical PERIOD
aud the as"i grandmother, ave all cured ~ III"
use Of our Ensl-h femNl- biucrs Irc~ctlb"i and
used - hysict,ns nil owes the cougtTy.
Ifyou are troubled with falling Of the womb,
attended With sense u We ght aIi bearing dOan
pain in the hack AMI side, AMI other attendant
evils, Engii-H Female but"r- wall give entire re-
lie
Those at the ''turn Of lfe," mothers after con,
dncment, and all others tnale or icmale) who
are conyalcscents nom any prulracted 81 dcb H..
.atinf complaint, Who gaia strength slowly, aud
Whose d gs-t.on l. slow and imperfect, viii md
these Btters the very thing Their System de.
mHuds II gives powerful appetite, aid- and as
slsts digestion, NTuusss the liver, strengthens
mentally and PHI, cally, ami flls the whole .y,-
TEN With pure crimson blood cour-ug through
ia channels.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
MEDICAL.
SICKNESS. PAIN ana DEATH

Legitimacy result ~ penalties for violations OF
natural laws, from which mono escape
Tho faded cheek, the pale and,wan features, the
dun eye, the clUutcd intellect the deep hcaNlns
sigh, the feeble and cmacated frame. the detected
brew tho lettering gait, an indicate previous
transgrossion OF law. Knowing that "procrastina
ton il the thief of time" all intelligent beings
apply tor some remedy ms soon as circumstances
permit while those who do not act upon the
prncpe that ",ciAyS are dangerous generally
ilnger, lose more time and pay more money.
Thousands Of mother. and daughters, in all
stations and conditions OF life, are suffering,
lingering and dying from the effects Of some
dreaded and dreadful
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
FEMALE COMPLAINT
That claim. it's victims Throughout, the length and

That claims its victims throughout the length and
breadth OF the ladd.
Many females suffer IN some way ut each
monthly period, some rls are in great peril ai
the commencement Of menstruaton. while older
cnes dread Its decline at the turn oflIie.' some.
times the menstrual How is too much, or too little,
or may be attended with pain may be irregular
or entirely checked. or changed IN appearance,
or attended with other distressing symptoms.
Leucorthoea the whites" frequently drains
the system. or liberation of the womb may create
pam and cause rapid prostration.
FallIg OF the womb Is an exceedingly common
complaint, giving much trouble aud distress,
which, under ordinary treatment, is difficult to
cue.
Mysteries, Green sickness, lrritubility Of the
Womb uud other serious and fatal complaints fol.
low the female -eN throughout life. Lives there u
medical gentleman who has or can relieve the FUR
sex Of the above troubles Not msny. l. there
no combination Of remedial agents tht will come
10 her rcscuc' We answer, yes.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.

That one Tablespoonful of ENGLi~H FEMALE
BlTTER- contains ~ much mcdc inal ptop.rtIrs
As oNE bottle Of any Of the Pleasantly tasted
cGlnmon advertised bittcrs If the day, IL, m,t,
ical profession 20 decide the question, Sc Il un.
lerstood that English Female bit,~Is is not a
beverage, but is a powerful Iron AMI Vegetable
Tonic combined, curing long standing chron G.
female complaints ia every direction.
Put mp in large bottles at dollaI and 30 cents
per bottle or SIX bottles for eight dollars and
sold by druggists and merchants everywhere
Up. DROMGooLE co., Props
Memphis. Tenn.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
ENGLISH FEMALE BITTERs

The only acknowledged Uterine Tonic ami Fc.
male Regulator known, will cure all those com-
plants atoyc mentioned ~ an incredibly short
time. The B'ier- VI once srousc-, strengthens
the womb to iis natural condition. removing oh.
distractions, relieving pam and regu ating the
monthly PERIOD. Yonder stands pale, feeble and
lauguid girl, Just bursting iato womanhood. she
y the pride of ALL but bark she silently steals n
pickle, eats chalk or slate pencil no appstlte
Tor food she turns with dull eye ami seeS- sol-
itude her eye no longer sparkles, her merry
laughs no longer heari ringing through the air,
she mopes about with bloodles- ps aud gum, with
headache, palpitation, constipation, swimming Of
the head, cold feet anu hands, melancholy sIe
has a coated tongue, offensive breath, and host
III other evils too Numerous {" mention.
When neglected all these y mtOm- become ng-
grayaied. there j. SICK stomach, heartburn, o. dark
line settles ,nder the eyes, ia. leg, AMI ankles
are swollen the hair losses q gloss ani iAll- on,
there l. briitencss and spiiiirg o III" hngcr
mails, swollen abdomen, extreme nor, ou,ncss,
pains aud aches, dry cough, hys;cricul his, rapid
prosiraticn and death II you, OF any ut your
friends thus afflicted, send at once for Aottle
al English Female Bitiefs sud he cuici. lis e.
fleets are magical IN such complaints. surely no
mother vii postpone and delay th.s duty until
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
DROMGOOLE 4 cos BUCIIU.

The best and cheapest comb .natlOn for all alice >
tons Of the Kidneys and Bladder ever offered to
the public. Its prepared by regular physicians
anu used by the profession.
Price one dollar. 1r SIX hotties for five dollars
old ny d.ucgis', and merchants ey erywhere.
=, +. IRpMGOOLE CO.,
nov itdtwiin Nenpr ; Tom
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
Common GrOg Shop Biiters

Empty Bitter Bottles, Of various styles, can
be found around almost every dwelling and cabin
throughout the land. Their taste H. pleasant, and
ar aiNerii-ct % cure almost every disease, While
the manufacturers knew they possess no med.
iciual properties whatever. They are 80 mans
DISCUSSES Tor exceedingly common h.ycrs-y
which DO not, nor cannot possibly cure any onr.
Beware OF these pleasant 'hit'ets in quart bot.
ties they contain sting 4. = your Nlthl-, and he
Who buys them carries n "toler's grog into bis
house, one man who knues nothing about mci-
icipe, says hls hig bottles Of common -tuti wiii
cure chlll. aud fever, rheumatism ana Cou.ump.
ton another, whose bottle il very ncy, cures
all impurities Of the blood, makes old men
young, casts out devils, Restores sight 10 tine
blind, Hnd numerous other miracles; while Vet
another, Nho Pfesnm"s every man "a drunkaTd,
proposes 20 cure colo, lngruNlug nails, yellow
. ,r''t heart 81 seuer amt lOSr-slck maid n-i' We
En'N Ney make no such cures, We know the PEG.
. pr Nv Hase are deceived ant sNindlri, AMI hs We
. N'rii' 70 Neniiatc these common humhng-,
MAKE We following challenge to one ahd pll
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
BULLS
SARSAPA1ll.L.A
Read the Captain ..cticr ana
the letter from hls Mother:


Bcufon Barracks, No, APrilal, 100.
or. join IULi.-ua,rsr knowing the c.h
cheney 81 your -arlHrIig, Hul ts" hsuInp nuc
beneficial qualities 70 ..-s-t., ] seau you lit
following statement q! my Gaze;
| was wounded about two year ngo-wa- taken
prisoner ana ruutpoi Tor sixteen uiupths, BE Ig
muyeo 80 often, my wounds have not H't,cd YET
hay" not sat upA moment rluc" VA wounded
am shot tnruI-h IN" hips, My general tealit
~ impaired. aGt ! need ramc'hn" 20 r~-,ft m
turc. / have more 'ttl ia your -af-apsrilla tiAr
IA anything '.t. Wet tHa' ths, r. genuine
Please t1Yg,-- i.e a N9l! dlarT lnttls-, auo
oblice CAPT &. +. JOHNSON,
-, Louis. Mo,
l.. S.-ILc following wa- written April 90, lsi'
be- Nrs, Jeauio Johnson, mother ~ Capt John
on;
DR., JOHN EvLl.-pvo- ~Ir Ny husband, IN,
p. JOILiYu, Wa, stIiiui sur"" ON amt pA!s.''
iuG o. t'u'r5l Auw YORK. Wuey" 500 u.eu, I.tvlns
a." above n, T.. johnson 100 my c1gr, ~ 'hft"'i
years 81 nrc. he htl ohfOnl" d.rrJhcn an.
srrulu,t, pr which gave Inn yogr S'I-npafil.A
IT CURED HlN; uaye for ten years recon-
HeHtel 10 'o many u New york, OHIO anu l"~sf
for -"rDl,iH, tnFCr sores, 1uo general G"biliil.
Perfect supr's- has attended II. The esrts .isd'G
~ SINE ,gsfs " slrfaii and fftsr safs aiiaJ,'
mirIcsiors, um very suNfuU- for my son 10 reVn
have r'.ru.. tp yuUr S.rsupIrilla. l!e DO fearful
OF gc'lug % spurious 'itnI", Ecu"" hl7 whiting %
yuu lurII HIS wounds H'ir terrible, but BE-
liey, ne w,! recover respectfully, -
JENNIE JOHNSON
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01

s In Ill ihes, complaints the =, stem evidently
shows a want oi rcitlooi, and Mr.. Churchlll Iin
hi. work on Diseases of Females says Clearing
la mind that the blood IL remarkably deht ent IN
red corpuscle., and the known property Of iron TO
ir.te OF Iron" Citfat. of iron enters largely INTO
into the composition Of English Female ,ters.
combined with powerful vegetable tones OF rare
qualities,
Among the mountains OF Tennessee ani the
piucy woods Of Ml...sippl, o. found a certain
hard and ninty root, Nii "a ne been ~ secret use
IS some old M dwlN,s tIT many YEAR,, possessing
ul-in power. IN regulating uuI restoring bll e..
W dies suffering with my i",tiun ui DO" womb,
Tl r'ut wr have obtained, giving 70 a far test ~
our ~ cti ~. anil % is nov one of ~" principal
10 grci 6nt- On the.o B.ttofr, uthcr IUN'riu.
40, Iinr aut general tones also cuteT INTO IT,
composition. We also add L"piaLir. or Ba'k
hOv IL open.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
BELLS SPECIFIC PILLS

are prepared from the prescription Of Dr. Robt
r BELL, an eminent ply sicmn Of many wears eN.
perience, and are not worthless patent medi.
cine. br. Bells specific remedy has been tested
Tor many years, and II warranted a certain euro,
no matter how bad tho case may he Hundreds
OF certificates can be- shown. To secure the gen.
uine, enclose Al IN letter and they will lie sent
on receipt, secure from observation, by mais posi-
paid, with rules aud instructions that will insure
- ecdy cure. Private circulars sent free. Ad.
dress STEPHEN HAMLiN,
Gen'l Agent, 7J7 broadway, y. W.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
nI.D DIR. IIE.ATII'S

Many years experience IN curing Ca,arFh, con.
SUMPTION, Dyspepsia, constipation, piles,
dIsotse 81 The Liver, blood, sku, and
urinary organs, disclosed the start Z.
ing fact that the majority 81 th"tn were ,pus.
eli hy aui e.. uld only BE- curri after curing them
OF seminal weakness. Inhalation, chus'It-, ron,
tones, stimullnt., hyprpho,hte., mercury cop.
alma. cgbcbs, blciu, injections, and the ordinary
remedies had proved worse tlUu useless.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
Harvey's Chrono-Ther.
NAL Pill.

For the immediate relic: e.! all tlos . .ilirui
and arrangements peculiar 70 the Female sc
To married ladies' they are particularly valuable
thay never Toll To- remove ,he most distir~-in
syptoms, no matter how loug they have existed
Private circular. 20 ladies' giving FIJI instructions
sent free on receipt Of stamp. ir Harvey
Chrnno.Thcrmal Pills must not Ice con'uuudrd
with worthless patent medicines sold a. Female
Pls, for MS pills ntc safe ant sure In every ease
They will be seat securely sealed, on receipt OF
81 10y return mail, with fall directions iurLsc.
Address, STEPHEN HAMLlN,
ten Agent, 80 Broadway, New York.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
ALIENS
Head Dispcnsary

Established iu ls'H, anil .h1r''r't 4, :, Cor tu
rHatmgni Of al diseases a. 70 private nature,
stdcntfo both soN'a. \ cure s guaranteed
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01

Itis In,sll, Family Medicine. pal con ba
taken T., either infant uf %, mo " On the sGWu hrrn
cnrial ir-ult-. l. tcyJt,Iu, prHmptuu speedy
remedy tor i.a.Jhra. dy -uftcry, bowels coupled
dyspepsia, luWU's- W -riri-, it.Nf.uga, ~..l,
siHiuar b, hen q. be- CtH. Iur,h.i- sud fever 81
ai .ut- it j. tor bc'.Cr NgI safer than Vr.nnc
without auy 90 o. p'm''l,uH 90 .i.. li effect.
an appetite, proves 70 powerful d..c.tur 90 food
AM vii coHt'orHui tho effects ui Iuur iu i.N
miuut's. A InuI-pg,lic evidence u its il'...
cd prDpogi ,-, ", append % few "!tYo many Ger.
iu. i's re ON, pNs-"-'."ut
johnson. DEPOT, Lat Tenn, anl Va Il. a.
Tenn.
J,o1r ssur.rt. J. I..-u,ars.r n,vgu.rl tie
P.t'eg.l u,,c "l aimed 2 ON you, and tad .h..u
to hn aIl thcy ago recommended o, &c.. ! uuu1
on uu''i, 10 aa,ri me considerable .pN,G It.i
10 rough cannot dp very well vtlpu. them 100
nay present State ~ health.
u NENi,G I.I -unirH.h e., I'u.H.
Pastor Napu.' Ia.yuus church.
sul.1y - T.. Aha, .' N,.H -'...' l.iu.,a.
uu'.H.y
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01

IIHE proprietor ct This celebrated modicIh.
l Justly ciIms for h q superiority over All rp.
NEEDLES ever OF. red TO the public tol tUc su,. o..
tam, ssoiy sHi permanent crrt Of Aguc and Fever,
or Cuills an Fever, Whether OF short OF long
standing. lie refers 10 the entire Western and
southeastern country 20 bear MIN testimony TO
the truth of the assertion, that 10 10 case
what .Ncr wi 10 fail to cure, &c the directions are
strictly followed aud carried out. In u. great
many cu~c- "A single dose has been sufficient tor
cure, and whole Handles have been cared by =
single bottle, viii! a perfect restoration ot the
general health. 10 j., however, prudent, and ~
every case more certain g. cure, II its Use rs con.
tnued 10 smaller doses lot gWesk or two Hgprtht
disease ues Teen checked, more especially 90 dii.
tcu.t aud long standing cd.'-. Usually, tai,
medicine VIII not require my Fil t. keep "a,
Towels "a good oIderi should tho patient, buNcy.
'r, require ruthaftir medicine, after lUvirg
jul. 81 Giuii's vegetable Family yiII.
" u To suiiCiCut.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
MEDICAL.
MEN.

The experience OF years has demonstrated tn.
fact that reliance may be placed in the efficacy OF
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
GREAT gsES-
~ 'Ees. N'SsSE.
SctiEETZ CELEBRATED
Bitter Cordial
JACOB sC;Ii:ETz. sol, rroprlc,u,

Nh,lc.Hlc IcyUi-S. ". cornrr Fiuh ard Race
streets Philadelphia, r..
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-01
+ AIDES TAKE NOTICE.
DR.. Harvey's

physician OF 20 year experience oi'cf. h,t val.
liable remedy, knOwnas
Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-10-20

u think all girls are really good
and sweet said an enthusia tic ur.
chin. Then where do the bad
women come from Z" asked his
bachelor friend. "Oh," he replied
"they are the sweet girls turned
sour"
Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1870-10-20
NEW ELEMENT IN POLITICS.
MethOdism VS.. Baptism.

Concordia Liberal, Louis Trager,
editor;
Our readers are doubtless aware
of the many troubles and trials
which candidates for offices are
compelled to undergo. They have
probably some knowledge Of the
pleasures and pastimes connected
with a canvass. In the case of the
unfortunate aspirant, we are sorry
to say, the former few and far be.
tween, like angels visits, and the
latter too numerous to MENTION -
Among the pastimes may be class
ed the kissing of all the babies and
all the large ones, while with the
drawbacks may be instanced the
holding the COW by the horns, or
the keeping off the calf while the
voters wife performs the process
of milking.
Little, however, did we think
when we concluded to "run for an
office" that our mind would be tax
ed with religious affairs. This cal
culation was entirely erroneous, it |
rather appears, from what trans
pired last week as we were canvass
ing the prairies of Avoyelles.
Approaching the town Of Marks
vile, we encountered a venerable
colored man who, stopped us, SEEM
ing to have something pressing
heavily upon his mind. The fol
lowing dialogue then took place,
which, for convenience sake, we
give in the first person singular:
Colored Man-"Is you the man
that am running for the Senate p
Candidate-"I am, sir !"
Colored Man-"Is you the one
what is to look out for our inter
est ?"
Candidate-"I shall try to do so,
at least, if elected. But what is
it that l can do for you, my
friend 7"
Colored Man-"Is you got de
doin' of de laws?"
Candidate-"Yes, sir. If select
ed by the people | shall form
portion of the State Legislature -
The Legislature makes the laws"
Colord Man-"Humph! You is
not a gwino to make any Baptist
laws, is you p
Candidate-"No, sir. The Leg
islature is not supposed to have
anything to do with religious az
fairs. But why are you SO anxious
on this subject? ?"
Colored Man-"You see, / is a
preacher Of the Gospel, and I has
been a preachin' the Methodist Bi-
Die for twenty and more years all
through this yer parish, and now +
brother Smith gone tearin' the !
minds Of my congregational pieces
with the Baptist talk"
Candidate-"But, old man, you
hould allow fair play. II any Of
he members Of your church desire
0 visit other churches you should }
aise no objection"
Colored Man-'CYes But this
yer prairie is a real Methods '
,rairie, You see whar the bayous
md swamps is they is got plenty
# water, and they is Baptist. But
his yer dry praires God Almighty
Xed for a Methods, and we wants
o Baptist to confuse our minds
o you had better know what you
got to do when you is a goin to
ne Senate"
We had to inform the venerable
ontlcman that we would not inter,
re with his rights, religious or p
therwse, and then turned him 4
yer to our friend, the editor Of tho
.arksyille Register, who, we are
lppy to say, seems to be in FUR
ay to amicably arrange the reli-
Gus quarrel between the Metho-
st and Baptist preachers.