The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-05-24

to lose, nd he could wear them for that
day, trus ting to good luck in getting his
own gari lents again in return.
Mr.. Swift returned to the hotel at night,
everybody Y was exceedingly deferential to
him. The waiter bowed to him as re-
spectfully as it was in his power to do,
and open ed the door Of parlor remark
ing
"She's there sir"
"Who's there ?" asked Mr.. Swift.
" Your lady, sir. And she's had a sad
day of it, I'm thinking. She's cried
more than once at your absence"
Swift wondered who could be crying
for him, as he had no lady acquaintance
in the city but being remarkably fond
of the ladies', he had no objection to
seeing this one who was plunging into
grief on his account.
Mrs. Hopkins was sitting on the sofa,
and the gas not having been lighted, the
twilight Of the place favored the decep-
ton, and she took him for her husband.
There was resemblance between the
two men-and that immaculate suit of
ClOJHCS-Ol course IL was ne.
She sprang up and was in his arms in
q moment.
80, my dearest, dearest Frank p she
said, "where have you been ? How
could you stay away froln your own Aggie
so long? 7" and she began to put on the
kisses in way Frank Swift thought per-
fectly delightful. Swift returned them
with interest, feeling very much like one
bee in whole hive of honey.
my dear Frank, don't kiss so hard
You dreadful man! You havn't shaved
to-day! You ought to be ashamed !"
" Never mind that y cried Swift "I
should forget everything if l were with
you"
"Why, Frank how dreac full hoarse
you are. You have cold, my darling.
[ am so sorry Here, have a peppermint
lozenge," and she put one into his mouth
in such a way that Swift wished he might
have perpetual cold, and be forever fed
on peppermint lozenges.
Where did you get this odiors smell
of cigars? wish you would never
touch another"
" | never will. my darling
Just then the door opened, and there
was a spirited alteration going on in the
hall between the waiter and man wit h
very red face, who wore Il long-taietl coat
and pair Of very baggy pantaloon..
| tell you she's my wife, and if you
don't stand aside and let me pass, I'll
knock your eyes in farther than they are
now," and the belligerent speaker dashed
into the room.
"Jupiter! p cried.he, at the sight of
Mrs. Hopkins with her head lying on the
shoulder of Mr.. Swift. "Can [ believe
my eyes! My wife in the arms of par
amour! Good Heavens p
Your wife" cried Swift.
My wife; I am the lady's husband,
you villain p
Good gracious !" cried Mrs. Hopkins,
" the man is crazy! My husband indeed,
sir my husband don't wear coat that
was cut in the ark, and pantaloons that
look like meal bags Oh, Frank" cling
ing to Mr.. Swift, "protect me from
himw
Let her go this instant p roared Mr.
Hopkins, I" or I'll be the death of YOU"
"Don't let him touch me p cried the
lady. "Oh, heavens, only see the horrid
coat, And he's got the expression of
murderer
"Murderer Jupiter! This from my
wife 'Tis too much. I'll be the death
Of that vile scoundrel; and then madam;
we will live apart henceforth and forev-
er" and seizing heavy candlestick from
the mantle he made dive at Mr.. Swift.
Swift grappled with him-Hopkins
trod on the tail of his coat and down he
went and dragged Swift with him.
"Oh, gracious me-" screamed Mrs.
Hopkins, he'll kill Frank can see
murder in his eye" and woman-like she
wanted to have finger in the pie, and
with a huge copy of Shakespeare she fell
to beating poor Frank on the back
You stole my clothes, you dirty
wretch you !" exclaimed Hopkins
"And you stole mine" exclaimed
Swift, "my swallow-tail, that was made of
one that my grandfather was married in,