The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-01-28

The Revolution wants women pat
on the police force. The trouble
with that arrangement would be, all
the nice young men would be staying
out late O. nights in hope OF getting
taken in" by the fair guardians.
A couple of fellows who were pref
ty thoroughly soaked with bad wills
XIV cot into the gutter. After houn-
deripg about a few minutes, one OF
them said: Jim, let's go to another
house; this hotel leaks"
AT a church collection for missions.
the PREACHER feelingly said: My
good brethren let me caution those
of YOU who put in buttons not to
break off the eye. 1t spoils them
for use"
A few days since, at Sheffield, YER
mont, while a man was saving in his
mill, the saw going at the rate Of 100
cuts a minute, a squirrel ran into the
mill, on to the log and up the saw
teeth into the loft without injury.
Mr.. X. had his house remodeled-
DIR. Il. happened along aud said:
Well, neighbor K | see you have
your house all swept and garnished.
Yes, all ready for the evil spirit;
walk in, doctor.
REVELATIONS OF THE SMOKING
RooM.-Brown to Jones (who has
suddenly reappeared at the Club
Jones. my good fellow, take another
| cigar. and try to be civilized. You
are abominably dull, and Extensively
dictatorial.
Jones (calmly) l dare say. Easily
accounted for. | have been In the
country for a month, and have spoken
to nobody but my wife and family.
General disgust
A Portland shoemaker, who had
long been In love with a pretty
widow, but had never dared to men
| ton it to her, met her on the street
the other day and blurted out. II beg
pardon, Mrs., but [ want to mar
ry you! | have loved youa long time.
| am (here he gave his name, etc.,,
and you can take a week to inquire
about me, and you can see me when
ever you wish" With this he left
her to consider; she did consider, and
a speedy marriage was the result.
The GIRLs.-Can we not bring UP
our girls more usefully, less SLOWLY.
less dependent on luxury and wealth
Can we not teach them from baby.
hood that to labor is q higher thing
than merely to enjoy; that even en-
joyment itself is never so sweet as
when it is earned? Can we not put
into their minds, whatever be theiI
station, principles of truth, simplicity
of taste, hopefulness, hatred of waste
and these being firmly rooted. trusI
to their ~blossoming up In whatever
destiny the young maiden may be
called.-Miss Mul0ch.
The Bryan (Texas) Appeal, of the
9th ultimo, tells the following: Or
yesterday a freedman, calling himself
Bill Jackson, applied to the board
for registration. With due formality
he presented to Lieut.. Wesendorf his
''tifcate,' as he called it. The docu.
ment read Sam. Smith Said the
Lieutenant, rs your name Smith?
No. said the freedman, my name il
Bill Jackson, but you see, massa,
Sam. Smith he died and | married his
wider, and come to all his state, anC
you see dis here '~tiicate was 'mongsI
his property, and | fell hare to it,"
NJ. De LEssEPs, the constructor Of
the Suez canal, at a party one evening
presented to each lady a rose of Jeri-
cho, which possesses the peculiar
property, when dry and shriveled
with age, Of expanding its leaves
and petals, if placed in water. TIL,
ladies began experimenting with tn
flowers, all of which unfolded excep
one, in the possession of a prett!
creole. She complained to NJ. d.
Lesseps. Mademoiselle," he re
piled, lit is not in my power to make
/. your flowers expand, but ask for any
thing else | can give you, and it il
yours" Very we'll. Then [ want
I. here the lady hesitated and blushed
and then added, in a scarcely audible
voice, " whatever you want" "TheI
| wan you to be my wife," was tn,
reply. And they were married a few
days ago.