Smyrna times., 1870-07-20
About Yaller Dogs.

When Noah dSembarked at Ararat he had
scarcely touched the pier when he proceeded
to tally his passengers. He had Just checked
his last item in the list-a Mr.. and Mrs Bed
bug-when the cringng figure of a quadrupcd
came sneaking down the gang-plank with his
tail between his legs. Drat it if there amt
that yaller dog !" says Noah, aiming a vicious
kick with his brogan at the brute. But, with
a facility both OF long and bitter experience,
the brute lodged the proiectile, and eaculat-
ing kl VI which is Syriac for "declincd
with thanks, or mot for Joe"-hc disap-
peared, while Noah, who had his sea legs on,
was uhable to recover his equilibrium, and sat
down with emphasis on the back of his head
Noah arose, and in accordance with the style
prevalent among the patriarchs, he proceeded
to soothc his affrontcd dignity by pr0nouncing
varegated anathema upon the yallcr dog.
which had enthusiastically sncaked unobserv,
ed on board, in the confusion Of putting to sea,
and capsizcd the captain at the first port. lie
cursed that dog in body, limb, bark, hide, hair,
tall and wag, and all his generations relations
and kindred, by cOnsangunity or affinity, and
his heirs and assigns he cursed him with end
less hunger, with perpetual fear, with perenni-
al lazlness, with hopeless mango with his tail
between his legs. lie closed his stock of male
dictions by sparkling display Of pyrotechnics,
from the dGmoraliZing effects Of which the val
Ter dog has never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like revenue
stamp the yaller dog cant help being "cuss-
ed. lie don't try to help it. He follows
Noah S programme with sneaking fidelity. He
Is an lshmaelite among dogs. He receives the
most oppressive courtcsies in the form Of brick
bats, boots, and hot water which makes his
htc an animated target excursion. He boards
around like a district school teacher and it is
INIT l Il
day
The rest Of the time he bankers after some
thing TO eat. lie is too omnivcrou, for an epi-
cure Cram him at Dclmonico'S ;, and he would
hunger Tor dessert from an Albany boarding
house.
lie cant be utilized He is too tired As
swlIl-cart locomotive, a hunter, or a sentinel.
he is an lgnOminOus failure. The dog-chun
was Strategetic attempt to employ his waste
enerel :, but he hadn any waste energies, and
butter had too much self-leSpect to come" at
his = rsuasion. So the dog churn was drop
ped.
No sausage maker dare forcclose his lien on
the yaIler dog, least his customerS-no longer
" soothed and sustained by an unfaltcring
trust transfer their patronage to some less
audacious dealer. The savages, who admire
baked dogs, and who can even attack tripe and
explore the mysteries of hash without dismav.
acknowledge the yaller dog to be too much for
their gastric intrepidty.
lie always manages t. belong to a ranged, to-
baccO-chewing, whisky drinking master, whose
business is swapping dogs and cvading the dog
tax; The yaller dog is acquainted with him
self, and he enjoys the intimacy with edifying
contempt. lie sinks along through life, On a
diagonal dog trot, as if in doubt as to which
end of him is entitled to the precedence.
lie is always pervadcd by hang dog sense
of guilt, and when retrbutive tnware is fast
ened to his tail, he {" flies from the wrath to
come with Mortified celebrity, which ought
to be very suggestive to two legged sinners Of
a similar ordeal in store for them.
The yallcr dog is-well to speak in Italics
he is Sioach -Mtrk Ttcuin.