The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

4
The kankakee Times says young man up
there lately Rugged two pretty girls at once,
and it made him sick. There are plenty of
young men down here willing to "try it on
| and stake the chances"
The La Sale Press of the 9th, contains this
choice item:
1t is reported that the suburbs of the state Of
| Ottawa has been Gratifying some amendmnet
| to the constitution" In other words, that a
| white married woman has been practicing "mis-
oegenation." and produced fine specimen of the
fruit thereof in the shape of black skinned
blped with some "wool on de top OBJ his head.
de place whar de wool ought to grow" The
story is told thusly: The husband of said white
married woman came to -@, an eminent
attorney of this place, and after explaining the
facts of the case, said he wished to counsel with
him in regard to the matter. Whereupon the
attorney remarked: II suppose you wish to
counsel in regard to getting divorce? y "Now
replied the injured husband, Il don't care
d-n about that, but wish to know of you, as
lawyer, if can sell the id aigger z"
1t is reported that the colored gentlemen, to
whom the "picanini' bears striking resem-
blance, has absconded
1t is almost needless to say that the whole of
this story, which has got about forty women in
to row among each other in IL certain quarter
truth to rest upon, the whole being a sheer In
vention, and a mean Islander on a respectable
family.
The Aurora Herald has the following very sem
sbe item
Don't ask an editor to buy tickets for fair
mr. festival or aDvtbipr nf tbat Govt Co. @bo bo,
eft of your church, or any other object, unless
you first pay the cash for the announcement of
the same which appeared in his paper.
Some idle fellows at Matamora, says the Wood
ford Sentinel, thought it would be fun to tie
lot of tin ware to the tail of an old horse, and
see hir, run. He did run, and In his terror ran
into fence and knocked down several panels,
and did such other damage, before he was
caught, that they were compelled to pay secenty-
flee dollars for their fun. They amt quite SO
'tickled" as they thought they should be!
The Tazewell JomnM warmly commends ex-
congressman Whittemore for having ccrruptly
sold cadetships.
Who, now, will defend the Jouraa2 for what
it has doneP Whittemore, Ell?
The Methodist Parsonage at Henry, Marshall
Co., says the Republican, was lately destroyed by
fire. The family of Rev. Mr.. Bowen, the pastor,
barely escaped, his wife on sick bed, being car
ried out to neighbours on her couch The citi.
zens raised purse of $500 for Rev. Mr.. B.
The Press cautions Congress against expelling
or examining the record of any more members of
Congress on the cadet business, for fear that
'loya" body will not have quorum Isn't that
tough" on = radical Congress? The Press
should be more careful or it will lose caste with
its party.
The Geni~s Of Liberty (Uniontown, Pa says: :
A "loyal" Nevada editor returns thanks to
his christian friends for two Christmas presents :
bible and a bottle of whisky. Appropriate,
very. "Loyal' religion, few years since, asso-
ciated the bible with Sharp's rifles, and we see
no reason why the whisky should not be added
now.
That Genius entertains GOODNESS towards
radicalism of very decided character.
The Macoupin Times expresses its mind on
the gold question in this way
The New York World of the 10Th saws:
"Money was drug yesterday at to per cent.
on call"
We wouldn't mind few doses of that drag"
Take the dose in pills, or how?
The Baptist Church at Cambride, Ills, getting
in need of funds got up couple of theatrical
representations, from which they realized $3.50
clean cash.
Sixteen thousand dollars of republican debts
have been paid by a democratic administration
in the city OF Rock Island. What do you say to
that, political economists of the radical school
Cambridge Democrat.
The Oquawka Spectator records this feat of
corn-husking, to which we invite the attention
Of the young farmers of La Sale County:
James Cross recently husked on the stalk and
threw into Il wagon one hundred and twelve
bushels and fifty pounds, exact weight, in eleven
hours and forty.tive minutes Mr.. Cross walked
over about two acres of ground in doing this
days work. and vixen he got through received
eight dollars for the job. Mr.. Evans says that
Cross can repeat this feat and if any body is san.
guine of his failure, Jack stands ready to shack
his own judgment"
Any one wanting to get up "mill' can prob
ably be accommodated by addressing Mr.. Cross,
at Oquawka, His But we don't. So far as we
are concerned nc may wear the "bclt" as cham.
pion cornhuskiest
a Schenectady firm wants to exchange 800
velocipedes for Confederate bonds-Er
We would gladly do it, only we havn't the
bonds
The World says the Democratic party in New
York City Is going to 'wash its feet and pare it's
tn,.naila y