Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1870-09-02
SELECTED sTony
LOOKING UNDER THE BED.

LOOKING UNDER THE BED.
1t is the habit of many persons to take a
look under the bed before retiring for the
night Mrs. Evergreen, my beloved wife,
INDUCES, if indulgence it can be called, in
this peculiar practice. I have often remark
ed to Mrs. Evergreen, whom I have seen
her prying under the bed, that it was silly
habit, and that the sooner she gave it up
the better To this gentle admontion my
better-half invariably rejoins:
.La, Evergreen what harm does it do ?
It's kind of satisfaction to know Tat no.
body's under there, and then I don't think
of such horrible thing after I'm in bed +"
II think, my dear, you might just as well
pursue your investigations further and look
into the bureau drawers and the clothes
basket"
Evergreen" she will rejoin, 'sdon't
mention the idea, or / shall certainly do So
Come to think Of it, man could very easily
get into the clothes basket!'
"Certainly he could, my dear, quite as
easily as Falstaff. You should certainly in
clude the clothes basket, and blythe by,
there's the chimney why not look up that
as well ~
CHOW, Evergreen, you're laughing at
me. But I can't leave off the habit, and l
never will. It's comfort for me to know
that there's nothing wrong about it, and I
don't see why you should deprive ME Of it. "
So under the bed goes the candle, and,
no signs of humanity being discovered, Mrs.
evergreen is able to repose in peace.
IF it were not for increasing this mental
idiocrasy on the part of Mrs. Evergreen,
by giving her some good reason to appre-
bend danger, should relate to her what I
am about to lay before the reader. In this
narration, therefore, I ask the public most
particularly to bear in mind that Mrs. Ever
green is slightly superstitious, and that what
[ have to say must under no circumstances
be impaired to that lady. If for wo-and-
twenty years Chat is the period of our we'd
ded life, and happy years have they been)
If, I say, I have for this long period re-
Trained from imparting the matter to the be-
loved sharer of my joys and partaker of my
sorrows, surely the public will keep mine.
I was not bad. looking when I was in my
twenties. think [ may 60 further, and
confidently say that 'FGus Evergreen" was
decided favorite among the gills of Oak
vile, and 1 really believed that could have
had any of them ''for the asking" AS I
before remarked, Mrs. Evergreen is not
present, and I indulge my thoughts some
what more freely than would otherwise be
the case.
Fred Evans, who had been my chum at
school, came to make me visit at Oakville
for ga day or two" as he said, when he
came but he made it a week or two easily
enough after I'd taken him about a little
among the 'syoung ladies'" When that
time had expired Fred said he really must
90, as he didn't know what his father and
mother would think Of his long absence ;
but it ended in his relieving their anxiety by
letter and sending for his trunks. knew
how the matter was perfectly well, and that
Belle Bronson had bewitched him out of his
five senses. Fred tried to put it on to the
"country air and the quiet which was bene-
fitting his health, etc.," but it was no use
trying to deceive me, and [ told him So
Then he owned up frankly, and [ promised
to help him all could, if he required any
help in the prosecution of his suit,
She had larger share Of beaux than the
other girls, but all their attentions came te
nothing. I feared it might be so with FREQ
Evans, and warned him accordingly; bu
Fred said that without her, life was naugh
to him" Things went on in this way with
out any definite result until Fred received I
sudden summons home on account Of hi
mothers illness. Whom he came back t.
renew his visit he insisted upon staying a
the Oakyille Hotel rather than wear out hi
welcome at our house, and finding remon
STRANGE unavailing, there he went. Ih
landlord gave Fred, at my suggestion, hi
best bedroom, "No. 20"-I am particula
t in mentioning the lumber. CHE shal
have No. 20,'' said Downbury. IAN
. friend of yours. Master Augustus, shal
: have the best have to give as longs In
landlord
Belle Bronson, because Of the sudden ar
rival at her house of some country cousins
was obliged to give up her room-her moth
er's cottage being small one-and to occu
DIV for single night room at the hotel
We could cheerfully have offered her guest
accommodation at our house, but we wer
in the same predicamcnt An agriculture
fair in the village had brough many stran
gers into the place, and our own guest
were so numerous that had given up m.
room to two of them, and had intended ask
ing Fred Evans to let me pass the nigh
with him.
For this purpose I went to the hotel at :,
late hour, and proceeded at once to Fred
room, but to my surprise found no on
there there I did not even notice that his trunl
was gone, or suspect the fact, which after
lady guests 0r this night gad 1 ooG.snt as tn
give up "No. 20" and occupy a small room
in the rear of the building The gas BENG
tnrned up took book to awolt MS re return ~ IL,
and hearing at last what appeared 10 NC s.ep
approaching the room, and suPP0S'ns II u