Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-06-09

Miscellaneous.
Pleading at the Bar-Begging for
drink.
Men who "act on the square Ola
ziers.
-Figperatively speaking-The action
of dumb person.
The rates of the Washington Life are
the same as other good companies.
When does bell know it is going to
rinep When it is tolled (told.)
Large numbers are already securing
ho.rd for the Musical Institute to be held
in Chicago the last of August.
Surely some people must know them
selves they never think about anything
else.
| "A Louisville man sues the city for
| $25, 900 for dismissing him from the police
force.
The Boston Post says, "Jordan has
done much to make De Rodas nara 10
travel as possible" 5is
The Boston Adcertiser says, mo panes
were spared to make the Philadelphia
hail storm successful"
The boy who undertook to ride
horse radish, is now practising on q sad
die Of mutton.
How can you get more than one hun
dred cents for dollar! By investing in
bottle of perfume.
"A New Hampshire man, living near
Dover. reports that he has view OF lorty
towns from the roof of his house.
Among the articles advertised at q
chsttel mortgage sale in Massachusetts, is
! a set of tomb-stones, just as good as new.
The most bashfll girl we ever knew
was one who blushed when she was asked
if she had not been counting sleep.
Insure your life for the amount of the
mortgage on your house, in the Washing
ton Life Insurance Company, of New
York.
| There are two periods in the life Of
man, at which he is too wise to tell q wo-
man the exact truth /; when he is IN love
and when he isn't.
| A clergyman of Putnam, Conn, re
Gently married couple on the cars, with
out the other passengers having any
knowledge or suspicion of the transac
ton.
The Leavenworth Times says the man
WHO shot another fellow for playing
"Shoo FLY" on an accordion has been &C
quilted, the verdict being "justifiable
homicide"
AT Mount Auburn Cemetery, Cam
bridge, Mass they anticipate the necessi-
ty of an determination of the too numer-
Gus squirrels, the little animals destroying
all the bulbs and BIRDS eggs.
-"Grandpa, did you know that the
United States has been in the habit OF en-.
couraging tories? What kind OF tories?
"TerritOries Now give me some peanuts
or III catch the measles"
"A young lady sent the following note
to her music teacher not long ago:--
"Dear Mrs -, I wish To Be excused
from Taking Lessin until Week from
to Day, as We will Be Co Buizzy an l
wont Have time to Praktes." .f, e.
| The children of A. L. Hathaway, in
Shelburn, Vt, recently found some gold
coin while playing on the beach OF Lake
Champlain, and their father, in digging,
found alb ut 500 worth Of guineas coined
in 1749.76. sgp it ~, ft -
There's neral taught by the follow
ing conversation, which needs to be learned
by MANY fathers Said little four-year
old: Smother, father won't be in heaven
with us, will he?" "Why, my child 2"
because he can't leave the store"
"A young lady Of Montgomery county,
| Md of the most respectable family, and
| possessed of considerable means, hiss late
order to revenge herself upon her parents,
who refused to permit her to have the man
of her choice. sasralsf
An old bachelor says that we are safe
from ever having woman for President,
because not one Of the sex would ever
confess to being over thirty-five, which is
the age prescribed by the Constitution as
| the youngest point at which any man is
eligible to that Office.
"A practical joker in Providence, r. !,
the other day engaged and paid FIVE hand
organists to play one hour before the
door Of nervous butcher. They did It,
despite the offer of the butcher to pay
them 81 each to 60 away, and against all
his entreaties and threats. Each organ
played different tune, and the combina-
ton was something terrific.
AT one time Daniel Webster had a
difficult case to plead, and q verdict was
rendered against his client. One of the
witnesses came to him and said: Mr..
Webster, if had thought we should have
lost the case, 1 might have testified great
| zeal more Iudu L uiu ~ ID VI NJ Cou'
sequence" replied the lawyer, the jury
dio not believe a word you said"
| "A San Francisco merchant who had
an unstable article consigned to him from
the East, got his personal friends together,
assigned each street, and instructed
them to call at every store and inquire
| for this particular article. Then he ad-
vertised the goods, and the retail dealers,
surprised at the unusual call which had
| been made for them, took them all off his
hands at high price.
The Miners Journal, of Pottsville,
Pa, having stated that there was man
in the place who had been drunk for
thirty.fi years, its editor says he has
been called to account by at least twenty
different persons, who insist that the item
| was personal attack on them. The man
he really referred TO, the editor says, |" is
sharp enough to keep his mouth shut
about 1t, but keeps on drinking, just as if
| hot word had been said"
The Boston Traceller Gays that's mem.
| Der of Massachusetts House Committee
was offered $4,000 to sign a certain re-