The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-10-15
AK ITALIAN DICK ruRPIg.
Frem ths N. Y. Sun

". Il . F." .
Victor Emanuel, King of Italy, has de-
hghtfui sense of humor. Having found il to
his interest to absorb the entire possessions
of Pope Plus TX, he has written letter to
his Holiness to explain to. him that it is all
for the Pope's own good. s'These are trod-
blesome times," says his Majesty; ''the pas
sions of the people are in a state of efferves-
cence; they might even give your Holiness
trouble; permit me, therefore, to relieve you
of all your burdens"
If the true story of the life and adventures
of Richard Turpin may be relied upon, it was
with like playful hurnor that he lightened the
passengers by the London coach of their lit
tie belongings. ''My dear madam" would
the gentle Richard say, ''those diamonds are
care to you, and may one day tempt some
evil-minded person to steal; allow me- there
fore, to take care of them" Turning to the
mercantile traveller, with a beaming smile
upon his cheerfulface, and trifing in sport
i've but careless way with the siver-mounted
butt of his pretty pistol, Richard would OBJ
serve, "Your purse, my dear sir, notice is
very heavy; gold is the root of all evil, and
your pockets are fairly overaowing with gold.
Permit me to unburden them and to relieve
your mind of that distressing weight of care
which the possession of SO much wealth must
bring"
One day Dick fell in with the Bishop of
London. The feelings of that ecclesiastic at
the sight of the outlaw must have been some-
what similar to those of the Bishop of Rome
on receipt of the letter to which we refer
from that royal bandit already under the out
lawry of excommunication. The circum-
stances of the two cases are SO similar that we
may be pardoned for recalling to our readers
the ballad version of the first one:-
"Bold Turpin once on Hounslow Heath
His bold mare Bess bestrode,
When there he saw the Bishops coach
A-coming along the road;
So he gallops close to the horses legs,
And he claps his head Within
And the Bishop says: Sure eggs is eggs,
This here's the bold Turpin !"
The good Pope doubtless made some SINH
iar exclamation, in choics Latin, when the
King clapped his bullet-head and curling
moustache into the window of the Pontifcal
coach. However, the Italian bandit does not,
like the English one, put two bullets in the
Bishops mob. On the contrary, he commits
his little robbery in religious spirit. A sweet
air of sanctity peryades the entire affair. He
approaches the apostolic coach with meekly
folded hands and devout air.
We all remember how the Rev. Mr.. Stig-
gins was accustomed to smite himself con-
tritely upon the stomach with his dilapidated
umbrella, and to roll his eyes heavenward
before partakiDg of Mr.. Wellers pineapplerum
-hot-with three Jumps to the tumbler: but
even Stlggins, though clad in a conf tlete suit
of brass, never had the impudepce to call
the indignant weller to bless the bowl. King
Victor Emanuel, however, is equal to the oc-
casion. 81 see the inevitable necessity"
says this Italian Richard Turpin, ''for
the security of Italy and the Holy
See, that my troops, already guarding
the frontiers, should advance and occupy
the positions which are indispensable to the
security of your Holiness and the mainte-
pance of order" Perhaps his Holiness would
be even more secure if the King should lock
him up in some quiet cell, quite by him
self, and away from all the cares and
clamors of this Troublesome world, ''Your
Holiness" adds the child-like and bland
Ricardo, ''will not see hostile act in this
L casure of precaution." Hostile Oh dear,
ID, by no means. Such good friend to have
in time of need; he will see to everything
Zouaves and all. 81 beg your Holiness to
bestow upon me your apostolic benedic-
tion," concludes this son of the Church,
sand I renew to your Holiness the express
sion of my profound respect" Turpin, the
original, always allowed his victims to
swear. If the British traveller, handing
over his pocketbook, said-''Take it, and be
id to you," Dick was rather pleased
than otherwise. And undoubtedly it would
greatly solace the feelings of the Pope if, in
handing over the keys of the castle of st.
Angelo, he could indulge in some good re-
sounding anathemas. 1t would be a moment
of true bliss if he could fling the keys at
Turpin's head, follow them up with brisk
application of the apostolic toe, and finally
consign Richard with many maledictions to
those regious where the mercury goes so high
that there is no use in keeping thermometer.
But one of the misfortunes in being the head
of the Church is that he can't swear, except
in Latin, and that doesn't relieve ones mind.
And SO the unhappy Pope must hand over
the keys with his benediction. Oh, too cruel
Turpin Alas poor Pontiff