Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-06-23
Pepper Pods.
BY JOSH BILLINGS

Il
| III yu hev got a spirited and noble boy,
appeal tew his generosity; if w hav got q
heavy and sullen one, appeal tew his back.
CRATE menny ov our people go abroad
tew improve their minds who hadn't envy
minds when they war at home; knowledge.
like charity, shud begin at home, then
spred.
Afflckshuns are the compliments that
Heaven pays tew the virtewous.
Nobody but phool will spend hiz time
trieing tew convince phool.
Time IL like money, the less we hay oy
1t tew spare the further we make it 90.
The tongue liz really very fast member
ov the body politick; he duz all the talking
and twc-thirds ov the thinking.
Tharo liz menny n person VINO kan set a
mousetrap tew perfeckshun, but not salts
fed with SIGH small game, undertake tew
trap for bears. and git ketched by the bears.
Moral-studdy yure genius, and stick tew
mice.
'Let him 60, mi son." sed an ancient
father to hiz boy, who had caught a yung
rabbit, sand when he gifts bigger ketc6
him agin." The boy did az he wuz' told,
and haz been .ookin for that rabbit ever
since.
The world owes all its energys and re-
finement tew luxurys-digging roots for
breakfast and going naked for clothes, liz
the virtewous innocence of a lazy savage.
Thare IL lots ov folks who eat well. and
drink well, and sleep well, and vet are sick
all the time-theZe are the folks who alwuz
enjoy poor health.
A person with little smattering ov learn
ing, liz good deal like hens egg that baz
been sot on for a short time, and then de-
serted by the hen-it is spite for Matching
out ennything. 49,
'.People ov good sense" are those whose
opinyuns agree with ours.
Thare IL q CRATE deal of magnificent pow
erty in our big citys-people who eat klam
soup out ov tin basin with o gold spoon.
The place whar poverty, virtew and Inv
meet and worship together, IL the most
sakred spot in this universe.
Experience don't make man SO bold az
it duz so careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never haz a
playspell or frolik; it liz stiff from morning
till night, from top to bottom, like a sled
stake.
There amt but very little ginowine GOOD
sense in this world emmy how, and what
little thare liz amt in market-it is held for
. dividend.
Those who have made up thare minds
tew lead life Of enjoyment will find the
following recipee a CRATE help tew them:
ITO one ounce ov pleasure add pound ov
repentance"
Adversely liz n poultess which reducss
our vanity and Strengthens our virtew-
even a boy never feels half SO good az
when he haz been spanked and sot away to
cool. al4
Pedantry liz the science ov investing
hot In, in L,..l
fumery. and insisting upon sticking that
under eyry man knoze whom yu meet.
Lieing is like trieing tew hide in fog, if
yu move about yure in danger NJ humping
yure he'd again the truth, and az soon az
the fog blows oph yu are gone e1nyhcw.
Marrying an angel liz the poetry of mar
riage. but living with her IL the prose. and
this liz all well enuff if the taste ov the
poetry hain't spite our relish for the proze.
The man who lives on hope must pick
the bones oy disappointment
The devil liz sed to be the father ov lies.
If this liz so. he haz got large family, and
q grate menny promising children amung
them. z
Life liz like mug ov beer, froth at the
top. oil in the middle, and settings at the
bottom.
We should liv in this life ez tho we war
walking on glaze ice, liable to fall at enny
moment: and tew be lated at bi the by
ISLANDERS.
Men, if they amt too lazy. liv sumtimes
till they are so, and destroy the time q
good deal az follows: the first 80 years
they spend throwing stuns at mark; the
second 80 they spend examining the mark
tew zee WHARF the stuns hit, and the re-
mainder IL divided in cussing the stun
throwing Dizziness and nussin the ruma-
tizz.