The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-03-24
HUMOROUS.

Why i convent like an empty house ?
Because it Is an uninhablted place.
Relatives that ought to make good pede,-
tri-na-Step sons.
4 man with an 'open countenance" is
Away, read in the face.
N'hat kind Of fare is best to live upon
welfare.
Excited Franchman at Niagara Falls
"Ah di. j, 4. grand ,pectakel! Suparb
Nagnifque! b. gar, lie Is come down first
rate -
\ correspondent says that he was lately
presented with sample of tea from FlJl.
lie thinks il made nm FIJI tea
It is said that a watch dog is not so large
in the morning as DIT night, because he is
IT out at night, and taken 10 in the morn
ing.
The frs, day little boy went to school,
Yes, sir. :" We'll, how do you spell boy?''
"Oh, just as other folks do
MY lord, " said the foreman of a Welsh
jury, when giving in the verdict, we find
the man who stole the mare no; guilty.
Il hope this hand is not counterfeit"
said lover, a. he was toying with his
sweetheart's fingers The best way to
find out is to wiring it, was the reply.
MY dear husband, am not your only
treasure y Certainly; ! should like to
~ you up in heaven.
Il know gal 80 modest, Sam, dat she
ordered her beau out 90 de house. What
for r. "Bekase, in conversation on de subs
ice ob de wedier. he said the wind had
shifted"
"Whenever | marry" says masculine
Ann, Il must really INSIST upon marrying
man But what if the man ltor men
are but humanl should be equally nice
abolt wedding woman?
(. When the cold wind blows take care of
your nose that it don't get fIoze, and wrap
up your toes Ia warm wooden hose. The
above, We suppose, was written IN prose,
bY some one who knows the effect Of cold
SHOWS.
\ Nashville reporter, describing a fire.
says the ,mpk6 rolled in dark evolvement"
over portion of tine city. The interior Of
/ thu building was 'scething lell OF flames
New York
"Who's that gentleman, my little man p
was asked of an urchin. THAT one with
the spike tailed cost?' YES, was the
re,pouSe Why, he's brevet uncle of
mine. " "Ilow's lhat?' was asked. Cause
he ; engaged to my Aunt Mary"
Has man any right TO commit NUS
ance asked a prisoner of a magistrate
No sir n even the Mayor" Then, sir
| claim my liberty. | was arrested as "a
nuisance; aud, as no one has right to
commit me, | move for nonsult
\ lady once asked Louis NAPOLEON wheth-
er he would publish a decree putting down
the vice Of smoking. The Emperor W no
is a great smoker, replied: Find me.
madam, virtue that will bring hun ored
millions into the treasury, and the decree
you want shall be published.
( Why is a Nabob ike a beggar Ans
Racau>e he's an Indy gent
You can always IND sheet OF water on
the ted of the ocean.
To what color does fogging change a
boy $ complexion? 1t makes him yell 0.
+ To what town should incorrigible scolds
be sent? To .Shretcs bury.
/ Nelocipedestfia Observation-Disclosures is
the latest addition to the language
Esq at the end of a mans name, is
like curl in pigs tall-more for orna>
mcnt than use.
An enraged man tears his hair, bu. an
enraced woman tears her husband s.
Pretty g,rls are the guide boards that
point the way to the State of matrlmony.
Douglas Jerrold, on being asked what
was meant by dogmatism, answered: Pup.
pyl>m come to maturity
well, Robert, how much did your pig
weigh p 1T don't weigh as much as
avientnl owl I Alvv-.,s thou. LIT i. wouidn't.
y on must not say OK tail soup; i, sends
the ladies b!ushing from the room us
not that the right name?' No: you must
SAP 1y dispenser soup.
TIN man Boy, what's that hungry
dog following me for 2 Bov.--''He thinks
you re a bone, reckon
A few years ago an ingenious gentleman
managed to get drunk free of EXPENSE. and
"i'i-NS' udiiS AZ inc StftttS Oh IODQOD,
falling down in fit, with placard on his
breast, Don t bless me but give ME glass
OF brandy aud water"
Jack, your wife is not 50 pensive as she
used to be. - No; she's left of, and turn
ed tarhation er pensive."
Why i, baby like a sheaf of wheat?
Ans - Because it is FIST Graded and then
thrashei, aud finally becomes TIE flower
OF the family.
The young gentleman who came to New
ork determined to seize the first thing
that turned up, has been imprisoned for
pulling another mans nose.
A. a negro ball, in lieu OF Not transfers
able on the tickets a note was posted over
the door, No gentlemen admitted uness
he comes his sell"
You had better ask for manners than
money said a finely dressed gentleman to
a bcccar. who asked for aims Il asked
for what thought you had the most off, |
was he reply OF the little mendicant
Josh Billings on preaching: Il always
advise short sermons, especially on hot !
Sulily. fla minister kant strike lie in /