Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1870-02-23
Why Aunt Sally Never Married.

Now Aunt Sally, do tell US why you new
er married You know you said once that
when you we're girl you were engaged to
q minister, and promised that you would
| tell US all about it, sometime. Now Aunt
please do
'Well, if I ever did see such girls su my
born days. It's tease, tease, from morning
till night, but what you must know all a
bout everything that you have no business
to know anything about. Such inquisitive.
pestiferous critters as you arei When /
was young girls was different they minded
their business and didn't go sailing around
with lot of beaux, getting their heads fill
ed with all kinds of nonsense. / never dar-
ed to ask my aunts, married or single, about
any of their affairs. Pretty mess I'd have
got into if had. When they offered to
tell me anything of their own accord, kept
my mouth shut and listened Everything
is different now a-days; young folks have
no respect for their elders. But as | see
am not goiog to haye any peace till tell
you. why jist listen, and don't let me hear a
word out of your mouths till l get through" d"
THAT right, Aunt Sally, go right ahead,
do, and we will keep perfectly still. -
"Well, you see, when was about seven
teen years old, l was living in Utica, in the
State of New York Though / say it my
self was quite good looking girl then, and
had several beaux. The one that took my
fancy most was young minister, very
promising young man and very pious and
steady. He thought great deal Of me, and
| took fancy to him, and things ran on til!
we were engaged.
''One evening he came to mel remem
Der it as well as if it were only yesterday
When he came into the parlor, where was
sitting alone. he came up to me and-but
now, pshaw girls, l don't like to tell the
rest"
''Oh, Aunt Sally, for mercy sake don't
stop; tell us what he did
"Well, as said, he came up to me and
put his arms around me, and rather hug
ged me, while got excited and some frus-
trated, and it was long time ago, and |
don't know but what hugged him back a
little. Then felt-but now just clear out,
every one of you, shant tell you any more. ="
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally.
Tell us how you felt. Didn't you feel good,
and what did he do next?'
'Oh, such torments as you are! was
like any other girl, and pretty soon pretend
ed to be mad about it, Though | wasn't mad
bit You must know that the house
7 &c .l hon
of the town. There were glass doors in the
parlor, which opened right over the street,
and no balcony or anything of the kind in
front of the house. As it was in the sum
mer season these doors were open and the
shutters just drawn to. stepped back
little from him, and when he edged up close
pushed him away again. pushed lard
er than intended to, and don't you think
girls the poor fellow lost his balance and
fell through one ofthe doors into the street
Yes, it's SO. As he fell gave scream,
and caught him-but declare / won't tell
anything more I'm going to leave the
room.
NO, no, Aunt Sally, How did you catch
him ? Did it hurt him much ?'
well, if [ must | must, He fell head
first, and as he was going | caught him by
the legs of his trowsers. / held on for a
minute and tried to pull him back, but his
suspenders gave way. and the poor young
man fell clear out of his pantaloons into a
whole parcel of ladies and gentlemen pass
ing along the street"
E.nl T I l., t.
he, hei"
There, that's right; giegle and squeal
as much as you want to. Girls thot can t
hear about little thing like that without
tearing around the room, and he heing in
such a way don't know enough to come
home when it rains. A nice time the man
that ever marries one of you will have, won I
he? Catch me telling you anything again.
"But, Aunt Sally, what became of him
Did you ever see him again 2"
mo, the moment he touched the ground
he got up and left that place in hurry. L
| tell you it was a sight to be remembered to
see how that man did run Father happen
ed to be coming up the street at the time,
and he said he never saw anything to equal
| it in his whole life. l heard others say that
he did the fastest running ever known in
that part of the country, and that he never
stopped or looked until he was two miles
out of town He sent me a note few days
afterward saying that the engagement must
be broken off, as he could never look me in
the face after what had happened. He went
out West, and l believe he is preaching out
in Illinois But he never married. He
was very modest, and suppose was SO bad
ly frightened that he never dared to trust
himself near a woman again. That, girls,
is the reason | never married. l felt very
bad about it for long time, for he was a
real good man, and always thought to my
self that we should always have been happy
if his suspenders hadn't given way"