The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1870-09-02
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THE STORY OF HERCULES.
BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR


Hercules was the son of Jupiter and Ale
mena, and the strongest man of his time.
The Germans call him Herr Cules, and
claim him for a Dutchman. Alemena, his
mother, being daughter of Earth, Ju-
no Mrs. Jupiter) was naturally hostile
to her offspring She declared war against
Hercules from his birth. She sent two
serpents to destroy him as he lay in his
cradle, but delirium tremens not being
known in those days, Hercules stood in
no fear of Snakes" so instead of dosing
himself with whisky and valerian to drive
them away he just strangled them. That
was his style. Their stuffed hides may be
found in any well-regulated museum to
this day. He was, however, by the arts of
Juno, rendered subject to Eurystheus, pro-
prietor of a combined circus and menage.
RE, and compelled to perform all his com
mands. Eurystheus enioined upon him a
succession of desperate adventures, which
les" The first was fight with the Ne
mean lion. In handling wild animals
Herr Cules could beat Herr Dresbach He
strangled the lion with his own hands
none of the other Glands" about the show
being able to do it. He returned CARVING
the dead lion on his shoulders, but Enrvs.
theus was so frightened ut the sight of r.
and at this proof of the prodigious strength
of Hercules, that he ordered him to send
accounts of his exploits by telegraph in
future.
His next labor was carving the HYDRA, a
monster that rayaged the country of Ar
gos, and dwelt in swamp near the well
of Amymono. The hydra used to go to
the well for water to put with his gin Che
lived on hydra-gan mostly,) and it was here
that Hercules met him clandestinely The
hydra had nine heads, of which the mid
die one was immortal. Hercules struck off
its head with his club, but in place of the
one knocked off two new ones appeared,
heads winning every toss. At length he
burned away the heads with caustic, and
buried the ninth or immortal one under
a huge rock, with Masonic honors.
His next step in the labor movement was
the cleaning of the Augean stables. Au-
geas, King Of Elias, had herd of 5000 OK
en-, whose stalls had not been cleansed for
80 years. The smell was so bad that Deli,
Miami and Storrs ownships held indigna-
ton meetings and threatened to tear
the stables down. Hercules brought
Deer Creek through them and cleansed them
thoroughly in one day, though the ydrant
water tasted little queerish for week or
more.
His next labor was ola more delicate ma
ture Admeta, the daughter of Eurystheus
(who rode very good one-horse acD, long
ed to obtain the girdle of Fippolyta, queen
of the Amazons, to wear in the circus
She thought it would lay over any cham
pion belt in the country. Eurystheus or
dered Hercules to go and get it. The Am
azons were nation of women, very war
like, and addicted to breeches and ballot.
1t was their custom to bring up only the
female children, the boys either being put
to death or forced to work on newspapers,
which killed them off in little while any
how. After various adventures he reached
the country Of the Amazons, on the ANA
zon river. Hippolyta received him and
his comrades kindly, and they gave three
cheers and hip hip for Hippolyta.-
Hercules made known his Grand, and the
queen consented to give up the champion
belt Subject to the rules of the English
prize ring), but Juno, assuming the attire
of Mrs. DR.. Walker, went and persuaded