The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1870-09-14


good authority-none osher than that OF
Mark Twain, who has lately turned his a.
tenton to agricultural matters-that we are
forced to the conclusion, though very reiuc'>
antly. that there is some ruth in 1t. re
idea of introducing shade trees on large
plantations, has been hobby with us tor
some time. That some such thing is badly
needed by large class OF farm workers IS
indisputab!e. And could the pumpkio' anu
not only that, but the water melon ana Inc
SQUASH, and their kindred, be made to suo>
serve the purpose, much unnecessary sweat
ing and consequent debility, besides perhaps
not a few chills and fevcrS, might De avoided;
but alas, we are told that they viii! not an
aver. Wen3tice 700, that the freedmen are
taking to the use of umbrellas, going 10 and
returning from the field, and before long
they will hoist these COTTON protectors IN the
field itself. 1t i our object to prevent thlS'
and no; only this, bas 10 ride our hoony 10 "
successful issue, that we 700 may become IN
agricuiturist, and ego for" cotton and corn
under shade, and in the cool. we like
farming, and vice versa don't Ike edlIns'
have given the latter fair trial, and it don
pay. That there are other fields OF labor,
more conducive to happiness, more lucra'
tive, and which will satisfy our heart in al!
reasonable desires. We are satisfied, and We
are going for one-the field o. agriculture.
Our hopes Of getting rich and mellow, ana
happy, and Of holding some high position, arc
ia simmering STATE, and will soo2 "fasS 70
the cline where the wood -bine twineth," or
more fsuratiYely Ego where the mole dwell
eth" that is, run into the ground. We have
good grounds for this; hosts Of good men and
true, have tried it in vain. A farmers Life IS
our fancy, that is, aside from the ditiicuit'eS'
aud the sweating, already spoken OF, ana we
shall no: let this failure Of the pumpkin TO
serve as a shade tree, deter us; no, we will
throw the paper overheard, and agrcul;urate
Just so soon as our plan is matured. It's
forty acre lot, fenced, but as bare as a SKIN
ned pig. The idea is, that instead OF the
pumpkin, it shall be laid off in regular rows
Of peach, apple and plum trees: these we are
convinced, will afford shade sufficient for all
reasonable purposes, and under the umbra-
reous foliage of which. with one horse
sulxy plow, aud other improved machines,
We will work till we cannot rest. This IS our
plan, and we believe that when our success
is seen, that farmers generally will adopt II,
and thus a Gew. improved, hcalhful ana
plcasan. system Of farming will take the
place Of the presen: style, and which alone
has kept US from entering upon it before.
As soon as orr :.ees are large enough, we
will bid adisu to editorial life, delinquent
subscribers, and an unapprcciative world.
ADT1cE TO GIRLS Girls, don't entertain
the suit Of any young man who wears his
hair parted IN the middle. or writes his mid
die name in full and abbreviates the first,
thus, T. Clarence Woody. You may depend
upon il, that, for the time at least, his brains
have gone l-gathering, and that he will,
if these ridiculous fancies are persisted in
come 20 no good end. A long experience
confirms Us in this belief They wont do to
| tic to, girls, because they are unit for any
of the practical purposes OF life. One single
proof of :hcir unworthincss is, that we ha7'
| emit ono of them on our subscription books
4 man who parts his hair in the middle
| never subscribcs for a paper, be has no taste
| for reading, nor time, and we ask what klnr
! of husband would such a one make. If ht
comes 20 see you, and you think there is any
good in him-and sensible girls are able e
form wise conc!usions-start him right away
10 the nearest barber shop, or home, to b:usi
out the middle line, and part his hair on th'
| side. if he yields to your Soft persuasion
and holds fast, he'll DO, if not, give him th'
mitten If you don't take our advice girls
you will have 20 work for that man Ell th'
days Of your life, while he plays the gentle
man.
To show that we do not entertain them: :
coIored gentleman with load OF vegetable:
stopped at our gute the other day. He wan
ted to dispose Of the same, and we wanted :
few, aud would have purchased, but tn,
idea struck US that there was something pc
cuiiar about his looks. Said we, is yonr hal
parted in the middle? Said he, yes sir! Sale
we, depart as you came with yoar load, be
gone, come not again to our door, until you
hair is partel in some other way. Now, ST
venture 70 say, that man will vote for Scott
unless the Reformists take hold Of him.
CURE For RuEUMATIsn.-Wea are infor
med by an apprcca;iye reader, and good pay
ing subscriber of the Herald, that while suf
fcring 2nler severe attack Of rheumatism
last week, and which all the doctors hac
failed TO cure. he was instantly relieved b.
the reading Of that one squib in our papc
on the Sidewalk or as he likes it best, tn
new cut road. During the pcru<al, his fac
which was distorted from pain, changed to
smiling expression Of great sweetness, as tn
reading progressed ne broke into laugh
which was so unusual a sound that it not on
" alarmed the family, but startled himself