The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-05-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

Eur purest happiness our hearts can enjoy
is that which is waited TO as from The heart
We have made happy; even as the flowers
We have planted ever vef seem 70 breathe around
Us sweeter and more acceptable frag-
r1uce.
BoAsT1Na Of the past Is q poor way To
achieve success for the future. BE who rests
satisfied With victory viii soon experience
defeat. While we 20 forward, We are safe
when we stop we are preparing to turn
back.
WHEN q young gentleman in Canada
wishes to pay attention to young lady, be
usually-if it be in winter-undertakes to
kill her with kindness, BY taking her out
and "slsiGhing' her.
The best Of us dislike being mistaken
in our opinion M 10 the merit Of our fellow
men We would rather pardon their weak
ness than Be brought 70 shame BY their
good qualities
SAY nothing, do nothing. which a good
mother would not approve, and you are
on the safe road to happiness.
AT recent woman's rights convention
one Of the lady speakers said there was
comfort in knowing that, If woman could
not yet be Captain Of the ship, she could
always command o smack.
"DrSkr You guarantee, sir, that this
horse would not shy before the fire Of an en-
emy 7" "No more be won't. 'Tisn't till
after the fire be SHES"
THERE is often but q slight separation
between q woman'a love aud her hats. Her
keen teeth are very near to her sweet lips.
81 meant 70 have told you Of that hCle," ,"
said . man to bis friend, who stumbled into
pit full Of water. "No matter now-no
matter now," said the other, blowing the
water out of his mouth, ''T'vs juss found it
out"
l.. AEEE SRE4z ~ n. ssGHlnN9e Al the
men were IN one country, and al The w0-
men in another. with big river bstween
them. Good graciousl what lots Of poor
women would be drowned!r ~
Two Germans once got into dispute
about the English language, each one con-
tending that be could command Il the best
They made a bet at length, and appointed
a judge to decide between them, and accord
ingly they began: ''Vell. Chon," said The
FIRST, &C Did it rain tomorrow "I shall
dink It vash," said John. Wasn't that
judge in a quandary?
A sKEPTTcAL young cOllegiAn confronted
an old Quaker with the statement that he
a w - HnNsr l. - Al o.
ker:
t'Does thee believe il France -
"Yes, though have not seen il, have
seen others that have, besides tkere IL plenty
Of proof thai such q country does exist"
"Tbeu thee will not believe anything
thee or others have not seen 7"
"No; to be sure I won't"
"Did thee ever see thine own brains ~
"No."
did thee ever see anybody that did p
"No" .....
"Does thee believe thee hAs any 7"
AN ignorant fellow, who was about 10 be
married, resolved to make himself perfect 10
the responses Of the marriage services, but
by mistake be committed the Office df bap-
tism for those Of ripper years, 10 when the
clergyman asked him in the church, ''Wlt
thou have this woman to be thy welded
wife ?" the Bridegroom answered m solemn
tone, Il renounce them all J" The aston
ished minister said, (" think you are o
fool ~ To which he replied, "AH this |
steadfastly believe"
"PARloN, l had much rather hear you
preach" said . bafaed, swiDdling horse
Jockey, ethan see you interfere in bargains
between man and man
"Well, replied the parson, "f you had
been where you ought to have been last
Sunday, you would have heard me preach"
Where was that p inquired the JOCK
ey.
"In the state prison" replied the clergy
man.
Old lady to her Deice-"GoOd gracious,
Matilda but its cold. My teeth are actu-
atty chattering"
Loving neice-"Well, don't let 'sm chat
ter too much, or they may tell where you
bought EN-"