The Lincoln County herald., 1870-10-27
TERMS or ADvER rIsi NC.

A kind No is often more agreeable
than q rough Yes.
The World has had iis iron age, md
its age Of bronze. Radscalism has made
the present On age Of steel.
"You have . very striking counts.
nance" as the man. said to the elephant
when be bit him over the back With his
trunk.
If you wish to increase the size and
prominence Of your eyes just keep an &C.
count Of the money You spend foclishly,
and add II up ss the end Of the year.
A little New Orleans boy, Watching
his mother wreathe her head with orange
blossoms, exclaimed, 40, how sweet that
is, ma. You look as If pa was dead and
you was going to marry some other man"
Said an ambitious youth, one day, to q
young lady: "Don't you think I'd bet.
ter dye my mustacho - csressing the in.
fant progeny. 81 think IL you let Il
alone it'll die ITSELF" said the young
lady.
The father Of Dorabella recently found
that little girls chubby little hands full
OF the blossoms Of beautiful tea.rose.
on which he had bestowed great core
my DEAR" he said, "didn't tell Won
not 10 pick one Of those flowers without
leave p
eyes, papa" 'a'd Dorabclls, "but all
these have leaves"
An Irish boy trying hard to get place
denied that he-was Irish,
~ don't know what you mean by not
Ueing an lrlshman, ssia ~. .,.y.
who was about to hire him "but this I
do know, that you..were born in ireland"
Och! your honor, if that's all. small
blame to that. Suppose your ca. had
kittens in the oven, would they be loaves
Of bread 7"
The boy got the place.
The surest road to poverty, is to hoard
up treasure. The surest road to wealth.
is to bestow literally where i. is most
needed. The miser is the poorest man
on earth the most liberal man is tho
most wealthy. II, therefore, you would
be rich, do not aim at riches, but simply
use what you already possess for the
greatest possible good oil the greatest pos.
sible number.
No YES IN THE "No."-"When nv
mother says no, there's no yes in it,
Here is . sermon in a nutshell. Multi.
tudes Of parents say "no !" but, after a
good deal of teasing and debate, it finally
becomes yes" Love and kindness are
the essential elements in. the successful
management Of children but 6rmness.
decision, inAexibility, aud uniformity Of
treatment are no less important.
MnTHrRs AND DArournus--ft wasx
judioious resolution of q father, a. we'll
as most pleasing compliment to his wife
when, on being asked by q friend what
he intended to do with bis girls, he re-
piled, II intend to apprentice them 10
their mother, that they may learn the
art OF improving timc, and be fitted to
become wives, mo'herp, heads of families
and useful members of society" Equally
just, but bitterly painful, was the remark
OF the unhappy husband OF vain,
thoughtless, dressy slattern, ut is hard
to say 1t, but If my girls are to have
chance Of growing up good for anything,
they must be sent out of the way Of their
mothers example, .s,s
A certain general of the United States
army, supposiog his favorite horse dead.
ordered an lrishmau to 20 aud skin him.
"What, is Silver Tail dead?" asked
Pat
whats that to you ?" replied The on.
Ger. Do - bid you, and ask no ques.
tions." --.- -.
Fat went about his business. and in an
hour or two returned.
"Well, Pat, where have you been all
: this time 2" asked the general. set
"Skinning the horse yer honor"
form such .n ta Operation ssfafl6lS -" h"nr. ;" NOS
: "No, yer honor; bat thin 70 SEQ it TUX
bout half an hour to catch him"
Catch himl Gre aud fur,es was he
. alive 2"
Y "Ys:, yer honor; aud 70 know
}, couldn't skin him alive"
"sain him alive; and did you kill
ITO be sure did ,. Lnnv I mu.t
4 obey orders without asking any ques-
p sions."
i LAWYER AND THE lRIsHMAN.-While
q number OF lawyers and gentlemen we're
% dining st Wiscssses, . few years since, i.
jolly soul from the Emerald Isle appeared
v and called for dinner. The landlord told
10 him he should dine when the gentlemen
were done "Let him crowd in among
y u.s." whispered limb Of the law (Alter
T. smith. We believe "spd we viii have
, some fun with him." The lrishman took
"a a seat at the table.
% my friendf'
.. mo, sir, was born in ireland"
- "Is your father living ?" sr
- mo, sir, he 10 dead" =
- "Whst is your oocupati66?"
10 "a hopsa iockav a..