The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1870-04-09
A Good story wei Told
HOW REV. j. HYATT SMITH CHASED A
LOCOMOTIVE.
Ell t>,. 4cll Lxr p I

/ LOCOMOTIVE.
The following story is told by Rev. j.
Hyatt Smith:
We stopped at Syracuse (New York }
for dinner. You remember the railroad
depot, centrally situated, with its eastern
and western entrances exactly alike -as
much so as the two ends of a car. After
we had dined, the depot master informed
me that we had seventeen minutes to
spare before the departure of the Eastern
train. This, thought [, will give me an
opportunity to see the city and glorious
chance for "a smoke" provided clergy
man could be tempted into such piece
of wastefui and worldly amusement. L
sauntered forth, and, after an absence of
exactly thirteen minutes, having enjoyed
delightful and soothing stroll, was
leisurely returning, watch in hand, when,
to my sudden astonishment, beheld the
train slowly gliding out a! the other end
of the depot, and increasing its speed at
every puff of its gigantic locomotive.
Here indeed was sscalp' that admitted
Of neither correspondence nor delay
there was no time for taking into con
sideration." So, without conferrine with
flesh or blood, set off Ike sky-rocket
with double fuse For moment l
thought | had it all my own way; |
thought was gaining ground, although
| knew | was losing wind. / was en-
couraged in the race by sundry helpful
fellows, who kept crying out as [ passed,
$50 it CATERS p '.plucky boy - she
amt left, O nop' and ether well meaning
and beaignant exhortations. Though
they intended perhaps, helping me ovor
the course, l found that the more they
shouted, the less inclined l was to run,
and the more decidedly did the locomo-
tive make terrible headwav against me.
To give up the chase, to submit to the
chagrin of being left; to lose my party
and my baggage; to meet with disap-
pointment and not to meet with friends ),
all this was bad enough but the thought
of encounteriug, all the way back to the
depot, that line of interesting individuals
who with their cheering exclanations
had so feelingly encouraged me on my
outward journey; this was the bitterest
pill in this unexpected dose.
But it must be done so tapering off
gradually l gave up the contest, and
turned back to meet my fate, and-if |
could find him-the depot master whose
laundering statements were the cause of
all my trouble. Without search that in
dividual advanced to greet me with the
bland recognition Of fact that no one
could well deny, ''Well, you got left, did
you p ] replied only with the resent
ment of ''silencing eye" If looked
as l tried to look, my photograph taken
at that instant would hardly be chosen
to grace an album gallery of s'eninent
divines." Several bystanders seeking
information, asked, with show of conf
Dental interest in my case, on what wise
the thing had happened? and others
wishing ito point moral, advised me to
be on hand a little earlier next time"
With returning breath relief and words
came together, and [ squarely charged
the railroad official with all the blame.
| spoke of his incompetency in no meas
ured terms, recalling how that after
had placed my party IN the car, he had
assured me that there were full seventeen
minutes to spare before the train went
out "while here" said l, with tri-
umphant exhibition OF my watch. ssthe
seventeen minutes are even now barely up,
aud yet the train is gone out of sight.
After no little hot shot cast back and
forth, with the usual variations and final
perorations of ''you did and you didn't"
.'you're another" ETC., | asked him
whether would be risking another chance
of being left if | depended upon him to
give me the exact hour of the departure
of the next Eastern train. eastern y
exclaimed he. Eyes, Eastern" | replied,
with decidedly upward and sarcastic
infection. "Why," quoth he, ''the train
YOU We Just been chasing with such good
luck wasn't an Eastern train, but the
Western express - With much and in
teresting confusion and excitement l
stammered out, "Then where in Joppa
is the Eastern train z" "Why, there it
is" replied he, "just getting under head
way at the other end of the depot leg
it, or you'll lose that" If ever | did
| make Dexter time l made it then. l
passed right through that depot like the
wind. / felt as if / was all legs One
glance, however, at the rear door OF the
last car as was nearing it, came near
being too much for me. l discovered
the group of my long lost friends, whose
/ forms and faces seemed bursting with
poorly suppressed and ill-timed mirth.
/ AS IGdCneu lhS P'A.Ao.A -
fire that opened upon me could only be
equaled for its merciless effect by the fire
in the rear, from which | had providen-
TALLY fed l heard jibes, and jokes and
ieers. | heard the hoarse laughter OF
full chested men, the hysterical efforts OF
mirth exhausted women. They had all
witnessed my chase after the wrong train;
now fearful lest indeed should overtake
it, and then rejoiced at my evident lack
of what jockeys call "bottom as my
speed began to slacken arc my chances
with the locomotive began to grow ssmall
by degrees and beautifully less" They
had witnessed the "blowing up" admins
tered the depot master, the strange pro
crastination in starting for the right
train, until at length it had actually
started and had entered upon a second
"stern chase" Then they feared | was
left again, as they looked with breathles:
interest on the unequal contest of legs
versus locomotive. They had witnessed
nv final triumph. but how gracefully