The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-08-11
MoTTo FOR A WATCH

Onward
Perpetusly moving,
These faithful hands are proving
How swift the hours steal by
The monitOry pulsc-hke beating
Is Oftentimes methiDks repeating
swift, swift the hours 90 lyl"
Ready, ready perhaps before
These hands have made
One revolution more,
Lie ssPrlng is snapt,
A CLERK in an Erie hotel has mag
nificent scheme in view. 1t is circular
hotel, to rest on pivot Ike q locomotive
turn-table The object is to give every
guest a " front room," (that being an al
most invarisble rtques) by assigning
guests to the places then in front, and
turning them TO the rear upon the advent
OF others.
"PARsoN | would much rather hear
you preach" said baffled, swindling
morse jockey, Z" than 10 see you interfere
IN bargains between man and man"
Well" replied the person, " if you had
been where you ought to have been, last
Sunday, you wodld have heard me
preach Where was thatg" inquired
the jockey. ain the State Prison. re-
turned The clergyman.
a LADY in Pennsy lvania recently had
her eyesight restored by 81 operation, af.
ter having been blind for several years.
! he first thing she did after objects be-
came visible, was TO sit down and read s.
number of letters which she presumed
had been sent to her husband by ladies'
during her blindness. The feelings OF the
poor woman can be better imagined than
described when she found that her zeal
Ousy had been Occasioned by a number of
coal and washing bills
A FEW weeks ago, as an omnibus dashed
up to one of the Long Branch hotels, a
lady's hat blew under the wheels, and
was crushed. Her display of good nature
over the accident so struck an English
lord that he sought an introduction and
they were shortly engaged TO be married
1t is now stated that not bus drives up
TO Long Branch hotel but that the
ground is go covered with hats that the
driver can't get down until small boy
shovels them into hand cart.
THE London Globe is responsible for an
item, in which a German gentleman, find
ing that his wife had elOped with fast
friend OF his, pens the following note to
the destroyer of his domestic peace: Sir,
L have for some time wished to get rid of
my wife. Eight days since she was bit
ten by mad dog, and | have been wait
ing with resignation for the usual results.
You will stand by her, and help her in
her sad plight FAREWELL" Hall an hour
after receiving the communication the
ardent lover eloped again, but quite alone
Persons similarly afflicted, please copy.
AN economical Frenchman recently
sought to blend the useful and the senti-
mental by turning the grave Of his Ia
mented wife into an onion led. He has
been equalled, if not surpassed, by an
economical Englishwoman, who makes
her husbands epitaph serve as business
bulletin in this wise : " Died, on the 18th
ultlmo, at his shop in Fleet street, Mr.
Edward Jones, much respected by all who
knew and dealt with him. AS I. man, he
was amiable IS halter, he was upright
and moderate. His virtues were above all
price, and his beaver hats were only Ct Is
each. He has left widow to deplore his
loss, and large stock to be sold cheap for
the benefit of his family. He was snatched
to the other world in the prime of his life,
and just as he had concluded an extensive
purchase OF felt, which he got so cheap
that the widow can supply hats ct more
moderate charge than any other house in
London. His disconsolate family will
carry on the business with punctuality"