Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-11-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

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i Man oyer-bored-an editor. -;
The bashful letter-modest It. rtoa
Relative beauty-a pretty cousin.
"The highest eirelesD-- Saturn's rings.
The future bard of Paris Bom-bard.
IA rope of sand is supposed to be in
sufficient to keep the ocean tide.
Does Trochu feed his soldiers on horse
meat to make 'em good chargers?
The wise men of the We.t--the
O-sages.
The dearest spot on earth-the store
where they do not advertise.
Over I, ,O00, 900 acres of land in South
Carolina are to be sold for taxes.
tits curious how little we feel the bur-
dens we place upon the shoulders Of
otners.i. ytt:- ,ia~ $3.50 SIe .F-s
''If COW gives twelve quarts of milk
per day, at seven cents per quart, how
many will she give at ten cents?"
ilThe superfuous blossoms on tree are
meant to symbolic the large way in
which God loves to do pleasant things.
at is a poor rule that wont work both
ways as the boy said who threw the
ferule at the schoolmaster' head. = =. q
The most unsociable things are mile
stones; you never see two of them to-
gether. ~ 81 i-o - -
When the editor of a Woman's
Rights paper speaks of the "most delici-
ou=, delightful, deleetable, enhancing
and distracting of all innocent indulg-
ences, she means a kiss.
A certain doctor asked Spiffkins which
he thought the best way to die. "Sure-
Iy,n he replied, "you might have lea1n-
that much from your patients" 5rf
A Troy Dutchman, in trying to reach
ferry boat fell into the water His
first exclamation being hauled out
WAS, milne Got, let's hat bridge" u
\ country paper says there is man
! in that neighborhood so mean that he
sits on the door steps Of the church on
Sundays to save the wear of his pew
cushions. .-.r .r.--- 80.
During an examination. medical
student being asked the question, nwhen,
does modification set in? " replied: g
when you pop the question and are ans
wered No." rs.a sr.fla l-s. .-i
A little boy, hearing his father say:
''TLere is q. time for all things" climbed
up behind his mothers chair, and whis-
pering in her ear, asked: when Is the
proper time for hooking sugar out of the
sugar-bowl?n ....5 .s..r.- -
-s"How's the bone market, Pat?" asked
a fancy fellow, riding poor horse, OF an
IRISH Junk dealer. .'Faith am it's rayther
dull, but yer naden't be Onaisy,. for ye'u
make cop on the ride what yen lose by
the bones" -. i...1--,.--..,- ~ -..-- -
! q In speaking of a friend who possessed
a very rubicInd eountenance, some one
said the otherday: 81 don't think he
Etatinks-in fact L know he does not, for
he told nae so; but he probably sleeps in
/ a bed with red curtains."to iGa .,ri 20 81,
"A, gentleman, fond of using high"
flown language, sometimes made very
IaughabIe mistakes He had the honor
of presiding alta SundaysSchoolc celebra-
ton, and. after one of the speeches, be
addressed the audience, telling them
that they would now have ''some vocal
music on the brass band"
A man was married.; he lost his wife,
and had q stone erected over her grave.
He married a second wife, and when
she died he had the grave stone split,
and it thus served for the two departed.
He proposed to the third, and the lady
0uaintly remarked: 81 do not believe
that stone will split again." --T
would not deprive life of single
grace or single enjoyment, but WOO
eounteract whatever is pernicious in b
whatever is elegant. If among my
flowers there is a snake, / would not
root M nv flowers: / would kill the
snake. .r.-.y-.. .t....t-
What more precious offering can be
laid upon the alter OF mans hesrt,
than tile first love of pure, earnest ana
affactionste girl, with an undivided H.
terest in eight corner lots, and fourteen
three-story houses. 1
Conversation is the daughter of rea-
soninu. the mother of knowledge, the
breath of the soul, the commerce of
hearts, the bond of friendship, the nour-
ishment of content, and the occupation
of men of wit. .a gc5.l
Extract of letter from Laura to Lii
lie. II declare, dear, l never gave the
ahsurd creature the slightest encourage
ment. did say one evening, thought
the little sandy coves about Wobbleslck
were charming, especially one. The
idea!--of his thinking L was aliuding 10
him!' ....,-..,--, -s.. b,
A duskv Adonis took his Dnlcinea 10
tba fair at Bowling Green, Kentucky,
iaSt week. and in rambling through the
grounds, came to tank in which croe-
odila. fresh from the Nile. was disport-
80, himself. await dat ar scaly ting am
in aars languidly inquired the dam
sci 1Dat," said Johnsing, momentariiy
tsi,en aback, and scratching his head in
narnlexity, s'dat, Miss, am coneubine
from the shores OBJ de Nile." yni s,lra
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