davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Bridget Maloney's Kitchen Trials
with q Chineo.

! Well, the ways and trials I ha,
wild that Cbineser, Ann Ryan,
couldn't be tellin'. Not a blissec
thing cud do but he'd be lookin
on wild his eyes cooked up'ard lik.
two poomp-handles, an he widdou
speck or smitch o whishkers OF
him, an his finger nails full yard
long. But it's dyin' you'd be te
see the missus a'larnin' him, and he
GRIMM an waggin' his pig-tail
(which was pieced out wild some
black stool, the haythen chatcD and
gettin' into her ways wonderful
quick, l don't deny, imitatin' that
sharp, you'd be surprised, and
ketchin' an copyin' things the best
of US will do hurried wild work,
yet don't want comm to the knowl-
edge of the family y-bad luck to him
It's yerscl' knows the tinder feet
that's on me since evt.r 1'vc bin in
this country. Well, OWN to that,
l fell into a way O s!ippin' me shoes
off when I'd be settin' down to pale
the praities or the likes O that, and,
do ye mind! that haythen would do
the same thing after me whinivir
the missus set him to parin' apples
or tomaterses. The saints in
heaven couldn't have made him be-
lave he cud kape the shoes on him
when he'd be paylin' anything.
Did l lave for that? Faix an /
didn't. Didn't he get me into
trouble wild my missus, the hay
thin? You're aware yerseF how
the boondlcs comm in from the
grocery often contains more'n II go
into anything daccntly. So, Tor
that matter I'd now and then take
out cup o sugar, or -four, or tay,
an wrap it in paper and put it in
me bit of ? box tucked under the
ironin' b!ankit the how it cuddent
be boddcrin' any one. Well, what
shud it be, but this blessed Sathur-
day morn the missus was spakin'
pleasant and respectful wild me in
me kitchen when the grocer boy
comes in an stands fornenst her wild
his boondles an she motions like to
Fling Wing (Which l never would
call him by that name ner any other
but just haythin), she motions to
him, she does, for to take the boom
dies an empty out the sugar an
what not where they belongs. If
you'll behave me, Ann Ryan, what
did that blatherin' Chineser do but
take out a cup o sugar, an a hand
ful O tay, an a bit o chaze right
afore the missus, wrap them into
bits o paper. an | spacheless wild
shurprize, an he the next minute up
wild the ironin' blankit and pullin'
out me box wild a show O. bein' sly
to put them in. Och, the Lord for
give me, but l clutched it, and the
missus sayin', so Kitty" in a way
that 'ud cruddle your blood. "He's
haythin nager," says I. 'Tvc
found You out" says she. ':I'll ar
rist him." says /. "It's you ought
to be arristcd,'' says she. "You
WON'T" says I. 81 WILL" says she
an so it went till she give me such
sass as l cuddcnt take from any
lady-an' l give her warnin' an
left that instant, an she a-pointin'
TO the doOrc. M0utIlu.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Late at Church.

The Springfield Hep"blicon says:
One Of the papers tells the story OF
man coming in the church after
the sermon had began whcreupon
the preacher paused and said to
him: 'Glad to see you, sir, come
in, come in; always glad to see those
here late, who can't come early
To which salution the stranger, TAX
ing his seat, as coolly replied:
"Thank YOU, would you favor me
with the text?' "Certainly,' was
the answer; which was done, and
the discourse moved on as before.
This recalls a Missouri incident.
One cold night, Rev. Ezra S. Ely,
of PRESBYTERIAN fame, was preach
ing in prairie farm house; when
about third through the sermon,
two late-comers rode up to the door
and entered. The doctor stopped
and said that as these friends were
very cold with their ride, the meet
ing would sing Il hymn while they
were warming themselves; which,
being done, he observed that as
they had taken so much trouble to
come, he would begin his discourse
again for their benefit; and taking
his text accordingly, he commenced
once more at the beginning and re-
peated his sermon, rather more to
their cditication than to that of the
rest of the audience, perhaps.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Making a Fortune.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Samuel McFadden was watch
man in a bank. He was poor but
honest, and his life was without re-
proach. The trouble with him was
that he felt that he was not appre-
ciated. His salary was only 81 per
week, and when he asked to have it
raised, the president, the cashier
and the board of directors glared
at him through their spcctacles, and
frowned on him, and told him to
get out and stop his insolence, when
he knew business was dull, and the
bank could not meet its expenses
now, let alone lavishing 81 a week
on such miserable worm as Samuel
McFadden. And then Samuel
McFadden felt depressed and sad,
and the naughty scorn of the Presi-
dent and cashier cut him to the
soul. He would often go to the
side-yard and bow his venerable
twenty-four inch head, and weep
gallons of tears over his insignifi-
cance, and pray that he might be
made worthy of the presidents and
the cashiers polite attentions.
One night happy thought struck
him; a CLEAN Of light burst upon
his soul, and gazing down the dim
vista of years, and his eyes all
blinded with tears, he saw himself
rich, honored and respected. SO
Samuel McFadden fooled around
and got a jimmy, a monkey-wrench,
a cross-cut saw, cold chisel, a drill
and about half a ton of gunpowder
and nitro-g -glycerine, and all those
things. Then, in the dead Of hi ght,
ne went to the safe, and after work
ing at !. awhile, burst the door and
brick in an Immortal smash with
such perfect success there was not
enough left to make carpet tack.
Mr.. McFadden then proceeded to
load up with coupons, grcenbacks,
currency and specie, and to nail all
the old change that was laying any
where, so that he pranced out Of
the bank with over $l,o00,000 on
him. He then retired to an un-
assuming residence out Of town, anG
sent word to the detectives where
he was.
A detective called on him next
day with a soothing note from the
cashier. McFadden treated it with
lofty scorn. Detectives called on
him every day with humble notes
from the president, cashier and
board of directors. AT last the
bank officers got up a magnificent
supper, to which McFadden was in
vited. He came, and, as the bank
officers bowed down in the dust be-
fore him, he pondered over the bit
ter past, and his soul was filled with
exultation.
Before he drove away in his car
riage that night it was all fixed that
McFadden was to keep half a mil
lion of that money, and to be un-
molested if he returned the other
half. He fulfilled his contract like
an honest man, but refused with
naughty disdain, the offer of the
cashier to marry his daughter.
Mac is now honored and respect
ed. He moves in the best society,
he browses around in purple and
fine linen, and other good clothes,
and enjoys himself firstrate. And
often now he takes his infant on
his knee and tells him of his early
life, and instils holy principles into
the child's mind, and shows him
how, by industry, frugality and
nitro-glycerine, monkey-wrenches,
cross-cut saws, and familiarity with
the detective system, even the poor
may rise to afflucncy and rcspecta-
bility.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
A Man Drowned while being Bcp.
tised.
correspondence of thc Cincinnati Gazette.

Correspondence of the Cincinnati Gazette.
SAND HILL, Ky, Dec. 5.-One Of
the most melancholy and heartrend-
ing accidents which it has been our
duty as Il news gatherer to chroni-
Gle, occurred near this village on
Sunday last. The particulars, in
brief, are as follows: A few weeks
since DR.. A. P. Pownall of this
place, after a brief courtship, was
married to Miss Mary J. Wilson,
also resident Of this place. Short
ly after his marriage, DR.. Pownall
united with the Christian church,
and Sunday last was appointed as
the day Of his baptism, he having
requested his pastor, Rev. J. B.
Hough, to perform the rite. At
the appointed hour 4 large number
of persons had assembled on the
banks of Crooked creek, the place
chosen for immersion. After sing
ING and prayer, everything being
in readiness, the Rev. llou"h enter
ed the water, leading the Doctor,
and the descent being very gradual,
they were obliged to proceed some
distance from the shore in order to
reach a sufficient depth, but sudden
" both were seen TO go down, hay
inc stepped over bank concealed
bv the water: both soon arose to
the surface, and the Rev. llou@h re-
gained the bank, but the Doctor be-
/ ing unable to swim was swept by
the current under = ilood-gate only
Il short distance below; every ex-
crtion was made to save him, but
in vain.
The body was soon after found
and brought to shore, amid the
most heart-rending screams from
his young wife and friends. Every
thinr possible was done to resusci-
tate the Doctor, bat alas. the Vita
spark had flown. This sad occur
renee has east a gloom over the
country for miles around, all joining
in extending their sympathy to Mrs
Pownall As l before remarked
the Doctor had been married but :
short time, his marriage being pub
lished>in in the Gazette ut the time.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
All About Boys.

lam sorry to say that don't be
lieve all boys to be angels, spite o
their doting mothers. l might g
further, and say that ! am afrai(
some Of them are destined for State
prisons or the gallows. l notice 8
demoniac passion which prevails
among them for torturing dumb
animals and defenceless beings gen
orally, which is indescribable, re-
pulsive and painful, as associated
with childhood. l saw a group, the
other day, of small Neros, in short
jackets. They had an unfortunate
live mouse, with string attached
to one leg.
First they would let him run a
few feet. then draw him in again,
to see how little dog would be ex-
cited to bark and worry it. When
| said, "Oh, boys, don't do that!'
they replied, "Ob, you go along
It's nothing but mouse!'' Well,
l eeemt along, but l said to myself,
"Just SO those lads will torture
some human heart by and by-it
may be wife or mother, it matters
not which,"
| rcI eat, am sorry to have my
belief in the angelhood of children
shaken. But again-I saw a poor
old man, with white hair, picking
his way carefully over slippery
sidewalk last winter, hardly able to
hold the poor bundle Of rags under
his arm. He was tottering-not
with rum, but with old age. A
group of well-drcsscd lads passed
him then they made large snow
ball, and with shout, aimed at his
hat, knocking it far into the middle
of the street. ''Shamc." | cried, as
went for it and restored it to him.
He thanked me, but had no hard
or bitter word for his little, coward
ly prosecutors. His sorrowful look
at them was enough, as he went de-
Gently on his way.
l call attention to this trait be-
cause fear parents of boys do not
sufficiently consider it. The child
rem alluded to were not street loaf
ers-they were handsomely dressed,
if that is any criterion of position
or "bringing up" Now "fun' is a
good thing for boys. l don't be-
lieve in solemn boys-they are
monstrositics; but it is base to
triumph over and insult helpless
ness and old age. 1t is base and
cowardly and cruel to torture dumb
animals for ''fun," or to hoOt after
some poor drunken wretch, and
throw sticks and stones after him.
| shuddcr when l see childhood s,
hard and pitiless.
l don't know that ever saw a
little girl doing such things; and
that is is why l spoke particularly
Of its being boyish fault. l think
the brutal husbands and fathers, of
whom we read such frightful things
in the papers, must have begun this
way. l think every mother should
look we'll to this, remembering that
some fresh, young, trusting heart
will some day give itself to that son
of hers.
Mothers who say to their daugh-
ters, "My dear, do this" or, "don't
do that, for one day you will be a
wife," should oftener say, "My son,
you will some day ask the love Of
some good girl YOU wish to make
your wife. Be worthy of that
love-" Meantime, till they are old
enough for this, look to these little
beginnings of tyranny toward the
detenseless. Now, l never had any
boys. My boys were all girls. But
| would rather a son of mine should
die than be snch a pitiless little
Nero.-Ednny Fern.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
John in Oregon.

In the Oregon Legislature, Mr..
IIendcrshott, on Oct. 81, asked and
obtained leave to introduce bill
S. b., No. 97-to enable the State
of Oregon to have a dead thing on
Cinnamon: BE it enacted by the
Legislative Assembly Of the State
Of Oregon"
"Section ]. No Chinaman shall
be allowed to die in this State un-
til he has paid ten dollars for new
pair of boots with which to kick the
bucket"
"Scc. 2. Any Chinaman dying
under this act shall be buried six
feet under ground"
"Sec. 3. any Chinaman who at
tempts to dig up another Chinaman's
bones shall first procure a license
from tho Secretary of State, fol
which he shall pay four dollars"
"Sec. 4. Any dead Chinama,
who shall attempt to dig up his owl
bones without giving notice to tho
Secretary of State, shall be finec
SlOO."
"Sec. 5. Any Chinaman who
shall be born without bones for tht
purpose of willfully and feloniously
cvading the provisions of this act
shall be fined $780,"
"Sec. O. Metal Coffin, Of Multno
nah, and 0. Graves, Of Lane, are
hereby appointed commissioners
under the provisions of this act, fol
the proper enforcement thereof"
"Scc. 7. Nothing in the Burlin
game treaty, or in the Amis' quequ'
bill shall be constructed to confiic
with the provisions Of this act"
The reading Of the bill created
great laughter.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
40 Acres Of Heavily TimbGred Land,
11-2 Acres Lime Stone 0QarrV

On Main Street, Independence; good cellar wall
thereon; with good will of the leading lime b.si
ness within 25 miles more-capable or great I'M
prOvement and extension under Information gain
ed in the present business of subscriber, who rep
resenta kilns with capacity of 700 bushels Of lime
per day. If not soon sold the opportunity Will
not be lost by the present managers. The only
reason for selling now being residence
Also for sale sepe,ut FOrsies Of Ve1 sitmafed Land
improved, and ~ acres with 15l improved. excel.
ent bottom land and some lots in Otterville: All
offered at low valuation and on accommodating
terms Apply to s. II. Stannard, my agent at OF.
R. r. YOUNG,
M-M Tueiah0s, n. Y.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

MEssRs. BENNETT, ELDRIDaE Il Co,
Grocers, Burf's buildings, Chatham street,
arc now doing good, brisk business des-
pite the tightncss of the times. Since
opening last May, their trade has steadi-
ly increased, for the simple reason that
they have squarely earned 1t. Every ef-
fort has been made by them to secure the
best quality of Goods, and to put their
prices at the lowest possible limits. Pay
ing less than half the rent given by some
of their competitors, doing all their work
themselves-thus saving the very consid-
erable item of clerk hire-and by utterly
refusing to credit, losing nothing on bad
debts, they can and do fix their prices at
figures, below which it is not possible for
legitimate trade to go. '1
RelOW will he found a list of their prices
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
A Shnd Story.

He came into the breakfast room
one morning, and in moment it
was seen cloud was on his brow.
There sat lady-like wife, waiting
for him; the table fairly groaned,
not with plated silver, but the solid
material. The cloth was white as
snow; the family were seated
around in pleasant expectancy; ev-
erything was smoking hot, and not
an article there but even pamper-
cd appetite could revel on. But the
mans favoritc dish was not there.
Closer he came to the table, and
with the inquiry, ''Did you not
know that l wanted a shad for my
breakfast?" he raised his foot and
overtr rned the whole table On the
floor. "It was at the fire being kept
warm for you," replied his noble
wife, in her quiet, lady-like and
conquering way. In an instant the
naughty husband comprehended the
situation, the next he was on his
knees exclaiming, "Dear wife, YOU
are nothing less than an angel born.
Not a great while after that he died
His will was opened; his wife was
executor; he left her all he had
S2,000,0o0.
The above touching story is from
an article in 4 recent number o
HalPs Jouraoi Of Wedtth. The mar
who can read it without dying anc
leaving his wife s2,o0o,ooo is ;
brute, and the woman who can reao
without forthwith buying shad, i.
a dove not up to the wisdom OF ser
pents. 1t is said that on the da,
this story appeared in New York
some $4,000 more shad were SOLE
than on any other preceding da,
since the trade in that fish was frs
inaugurated. Broadway, Fifth Nv
cnue, and other Of the prominen
h;ghNaNS, were one mass OF womel
and shad.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
A Marshall comfy. ILL.,. letter [

A Marshall county, ILL.,, letter to
the Chicago Tribune says: "A COW
belonging to Henry Foster, six
miles west of Wenona, some weeks
ago gave birth to calf that still
lives. The COW died that night,
and, by autopsy, fifty-five more
calves, from the size of a rat to that
of mouse, were found, all of natu-
raj form. After showing them to
some of the neighbors, Mr.. Foster
fed them to the hogs, not thinking
they were worth thousands Of dol.
lars:"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

A correspondent Of the Dccorah Rep"b-
lcam gives the following as an infallible
cure for cattle suffering from having eat
en- smutty corn, II given before they have
fallen down: fg~ ,,
/ BEAT well one egg, mixed with Ia
blespoonful of salt, well stirred in. To
this add powdered SCOT sufficient to make
=. baN. and force down the animafs
throat"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Baby's Stockings.

Hang up the baby's stocking,
Be sure you don't forgeti
The dear little dimpled darlingi
She never say Christmas yet;
But I've told her all about,
And she opened her big blue eyes,
p And I'm sure she understood me,
She looked SO funny and wise.
Dear. dear! what tiny stockingi
= 1t doesn't take much to hold
Such little pink toes rs baby's
Away from the frost and cold
But then for the baby's Christmas
1t never will do at all;
Why, Santa Claus wouldn't be looking
For anything half SO small.
know what well do for the baby;
I've thought of the very best plan;
I'll borrow a stocking Of grandma
The longest that ever can.
And you'll hang it by mine, dear mother,
Right here in the corner, so,
And write letter to Santa,
And fasten it on to the toe.
Write, '.This Is the babv's stocking
That hangs in the corner here;
You never have seen her, Santa,
For she only came this year;
But she's just the blesscdest baby!
And now, before you go,
just cram her stocking with goodies,
From the top clear down to the toe"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

Monograms have broken out fierce
ly in two new places-the corners
Of gentlemen's collars, and the
gauntlets of ladies' gloves.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

APPLE JELLY FOR TARTs.-Cut
and core apples without pairing,
cover them with water, and let them
cook slowly in IN earthen dish un.
til the apples look red; then pour
into bag and gently squeeze out
all the liquid that will flow freely
Boil the liquid again about half an
hour, and add half a pound of sugar
to pint ofjuice, and boil quickly
for fifteen minutes. 1t will prove 4
firm nice jelly, and requires but
half the usual quantity OF sugar.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

In Table Cutlery, Crockery, Glassware,
Tea, Coffee, Syrups, &c, they feel very
confident they can offer special induce
ments to those who pay down for Goods.
NW-Cash Paid for Farm Produce
BENNETT, ELDRIDGE & co.
00-tf
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Jesup Cards.
!. III, HAWKINS,

4 TTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW,
~ Jesup,7 Buchanan Co., iowa. COLLECTIONS
promptly made and remitted. Real Estate bought
and sold
Jan. p, 1861 soft
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

A Massachusetts farmer, made
two thousand dollars last fall by
selling burdock roots.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
A SIRE THING.

vI,HE undersigned having removed from Buchan-
an county (his place of residence for II years.
to N Y, is desirous Of concentrating his resour-
ccs. offers for cash-or cash and security among
other solid chances Otterville Lime business
with Pages Patent Kiln, and the patent right for
fl wears to come for Buchanan and Winneshiek
counties, Uhere's no better process OF lime burn
inc than this in use, the leading concerns of the
II use \ together with
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
INDEPENDENCE NURSERY.

A T the Independence Nursery one mile west OF
n this Citv can he found a good assortment OF
the most hardy varieties of Grated Apple Trees,
also Seeding Apple Trees: Early Richmond and
Morcllo Cherries: Flemish Beauty Pears: yellow
Egg Lombard. Columbia. Minor and Blue Plums
Red and yellow Siberian, Transccndent. Soulard.
Hyslop. Forbs and Tetopsky Crahs Iloughton
Seeding. Scotch and English Gooseberries; boo
little Black Cap. Purple Cane and Catawina Rasp-
berries; Concord and Clinton Grapes: Wilson's,
Russels, Lanning's White and Frcnch's Seeding
Strawberries; Currants. Roses, Flowering AL
monds. Snowbals. Gadiolas. Lilies. Dahias,
Fiowering Shrubs. Weeping Willows. Evergreens.
Verbenas. Sweet Potatoes. and in fact any and
everything in the Nursery line cheaper than can
be had from any other Nursery. will also order
on short nolice anything in the green house line,
from d. Willmot Scot. of Galena. Illinois, at cata-
logue prices freight and express charges excepted.
Almost all of the above were grown and acci-
mated here on our own grounds
j. S. BOTCK,
eS-tf Proprietor.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
M. r. EASTMAN
M. BEOSEN,

A TTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW
N and Land Agent, Jesup, Buchanan County,
Iowa. Will practice in Buchanan, BlackhaMk'
and adjoining counties. Blu
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Electropathic Treatment Of Dis
caSCs
Man a COMPOUND Electrical Being.

nR HOBBIE is prepared to treat successfully y
- all chronic diseases, and especially those be
yond the reach of medicine, with the Double Cur
rent Electrical Instrument, new method OF cure
by means of the various qualities of electricity
The following are some of the diseases: Rheu
matjsm PARALYSIS Blindness, Deafness. Diabetes
Cough, Cntarrh, Spinal Diseases, Female Weak
nesses &c, &c.
~ Office and residence third door west OF the
Post Office Independence Iowa. 1S-6m
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
Il g KEy,T. AR.

r licensed ACCTONEER. Independence, ic
Iswa Will sell Real Estate and Personal Prop
erty of every description. Satisfaction Gaaran'
tee1
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
d. C. EACKUS,

d. C. EACKUS,
vTNCNER AND REPAIRER of Pianos, Reed and
Pipe Organs. Melodeons, &c, independence,
Iowa sIi. long experience in the business OF tmn-
ing and repairing musical instruments. gives Mr..
Bsckus entire confidence that lie can give perfect
satisfactioa to all who may need his services Or
ders may be left at the Bazaar. 4-ly
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30
A. S. EEELS,
=7=-7----'------4=-=- -
+. M, HUNT.

r licensed AUCTIONEER, Hazleton. iowa
Will attend Sales of Real and Personal Prop
srty on short notice in this and Fayette COUNTIES
0aiisfa action Guaranteed 33-ly
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-30

q TrORNEY AT LAW. Office on corner of
"A Main and Walnut Streets. over Closes store
Independence, Iowa. Particular attcalion pai, |"
General collections aud matters before the Pro-
bate Court. "'-u