The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1870-03-03
The Giant Treated in q Humorous
Vein.


The Troy Press indulges In a rare
humor for that stsid sheet, when 1t re-
fers thusly to the Onondaga Sphynx:
"They have discovered . stone Thing
out near Syracuse, an assiferous "What
is it," Syracuse Is great place, and
owes its living mainly to salt. Salt 10
the chief end Of its being and the foun.
dation ofits fortunes. All its houses are
founded on salt cellars. Its people all
sing out Of the Psaltery on Sunday.
They name all the girl babies Sal. Their
boys follow the canal for the sake Of be-
coming "oid salts" They arc greatly
given to saltatory exercises. The most
prevalent disease there is saltrheum.--
The inhabitants generally emblazon the
shields of their coat of arms saitierwise,
and their patron saint salt. peter. Now,
in view Of all this salt-worship, aud Of
the scriptural relation Of Lots wife, we
think it wonder that the Syracusans
have not adopted the very plausible
theory than this disinterested gentle.
man, crock ribbed aud ancient as the
sum-" may be the patron saint Of their
city preserved to all time In A l salt.
A strong. minded lady friend nf ours
suggests that the Thing may be some
salt. petrified Lots wife's husband, who
took an inconsideratc retrospect or
some forsaken city where women once
wore the breeches. 1t is all very well
for Professor Hall to 60 out there and
get Off the idea that the Thing IL the
work of the early Jesuit priests in this
country. The inquiry naturally arises,
why should they make it? To furnish
sermons in stone?" We can conjec-
ture but one purpose, aud that Is for
worship. And that after all would be
al idol piece of business. The truth is,
here is a bOundless region Of conjecture
opened tn the imagination. The Thing
may have been q primeval little boy
who drove tho mastadon to water. Or
who knows but it may be Archimeties,
who was mighty man, and fisyed the
Romans sOundly ut Syracuse. Or one Of
the Niobe family? Or the god Pan
hard Pan? Ii there were pavement
Rugs HI VuuSc uhy -, why iuUy Ilot tHlS
have been blue stone contractor or ad-
vocate, changed into perpetual stone by
an avenging Providence, in answer to
the prayers of a long suffering people?
A hard fate, truly, but deserved.-Of
course it could never have been Mich
olson man, for to preserve the fitness OF
things, he must have been made All
eternal blockhead. We could easily
conceive, too, that it may have been
"drummer' for some antetiiluvian
"Bitters" mandatory, who went about
the country with q colossal stencil, de-
faced the natural scenery with cabalistic
signs and met fitting punishment. Or
that it was some grand head center Of
the Bulls aud Bears, who. in trying to
make corner" in Wall street, was
just cleverly and righteously trans
formed into u corner stone himself.
But now, to have done with all this
jesting-we have had an interview with
Professor Hall, aud have, on . COMPARE
sou of ideas with him, concluded that
the puzzle is explainable on only one
hypothesis. can be no doubt
about it at all, and we refer to Professor
Hall as our authority-the stone giant
is nothing more or less than the Great
Founder Of the Hard.Shell Democra-
cy!
Ripe plums were picked on the lst OF
January from an orchard near Milwau-
kee, Oregon, being n part OF the seco4rd
crop cf 1869.