davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-11-08
FROM BALTIMORE.
The Election In Maryland.

BALTIMORE, Nov. S.-The election is proceed
ing in the most orderly manner. Up TO this
hour Q.3O) not an arrest has been made. A
heavy vote is being polled.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-11-08
The Franc, tireurs Repulsed.
This IIornins,s ouetntious.

LONDON, Nov. S-ll5O A, M.-UonsoIs opened
at 93A for both money and account; American
s93S; OF 1865, DID, ssH; OF 1867, 9O2S 104Os, s71
Stocks steady Erie Railroad, 1S% Illinois Central,
113; Great Western, 29h
livERPoOL, Nov. s-ll'3O A. M.-Cotton opened
quiet; middng uplands, 9]6d. middlng Orleans,
gSd. The sales for to-day are estimated at 0,000
bales. New Corn, 29s. Cd. @29s. Cd.
LONDON, Nov. Shallow is nat.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-11-08
This Afternoons Quotations

LONDON, Nov. S-130 p. M.-Consols, 93K for
money and account U. S. 5-2Os OF 1862, S9H; OF
1867, 9OH. Railways firm; Erie, 10.
LONDON, Nov. S-1'30 p. A.-Tallow, 42s.
LIvBRPoOL. Nov. S-130 p. M.-Cotton declining.
Receipts of Wheat for three days 1000 quarters,
all American. Lard de clning.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-11-08
Il HIRD f. DITION
---------------
TO.DAY'S WASHINGTON NEWS.
Civil Service Reform.
The President and Mr.. Trumbull.
Destructive Fires in the West.
The New York Election.
Elections in Delaware and Maryland
The New York Election.
Elections in Delaware and Maryland

RiOting at Odessa and Smyrna.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-11-08
The Loss Of the Cambria.
Statement of the Survivor.
Great Flood in Texas,
The New York Election.
Philadelphia Repeaters Assisting.

Etc. %tcss ETC.. ETC., Etc.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
Passengers.

Per steamship James Adger, for New YORK;
T Eichberg, C A Burt, J n Morgan, Halrland, U
Manchester, and Mrs Burckmyer.
Per steamship Champion, from New York;
Alcott and wife, D S Jarvis and wife, Miss JARVIS
Miss N Grayson, N Shears, wife and servant, w
Hall, Mrs f Himan, W Hall, W Hilllney, Mrs Z
II Robertson and three children, Gregg ana
wife Miss 0'Neill, Field and wife, Or J j
Henderson, Mrs Lake and son, E Stl.lwell, Mrs
Henderson, Hiss Henderson, NJ Nichols,
Woodruff, @cGregor L Woodruff w w Lllne' LINE
W Pauleson, B Hawley and wife, ] II Cornell
and wife, Hall, wife and daughter. Mrs Cam,
ble and daughter, F c Cormier, E helchers,
Gerlich, and I'm the steerage. ",
Per steamship Maryland, from Baltimore"
T Linn, G LadsOn, and D Hull.
fort, &c-G w Razor and lady, ] D Williams, MISS
Cora vogt, Miss Minnie yogt, w walker; M ,.G Le.er
Cannon, S Schaurzman, II A Eheson, w McDuil,
w Clark. G Adell, L Russell, SRoberts, 81 4, =
Erpp, waterhouse Curtis RSgers conaip Mrs
Harrison Rogers, Mrs MatthiesseS' Oapaaih a
Horlbrook lady and two children, MISS ) Galilaro'
and S Davenport.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16

enduring in silence such suferings as the truly
GREAT and good man must feel when not only
poverty &Ad actual want weigh him down, out
insult and degradation add their sharp stlngs
to his misfortunes. The Southern gentleman,
so long the type of all that is excellent IN
human character, now finds himself obliged TO
struggle with sheer ,cdnt, and TO see ms Mlie
and daughters live destitute OF all tnat euuca-
tion and habit have rendered almost necessary
to their existence. Some of them nave lanus am
they can neither sell nor cultlvate; ~n.ist InsS
have debts they are too honorable to repudl-
ate and which they are too poor to pay.
Are these the capitalists whose greed
is 50 rapacious that combinations must
be formed to protect the laboring .peo-
ME from them? If not, where are they !?
Let the ofice-holders speak. they know where
they are. Those strangers who have come
sympathy for the people, and have crawled
like snakes into the flower beds That, under
circumstances of insult and degradation, they
are forcing the people out Of their hard earn
ings to cultivaIe for them, these are the "capi-
talists," and there are no others, In the once
rich and happy State OF South Carolina. With
the rest, life is hard struggle, and despera-
ton itself is continually goading them to pull
down the pillars of the temple, and perish with
those who mock at their calamities.
No one will quarrel with any honest efforts
to secure Justice to the citizen, whether he be
called ''laborer" Or capitalist But for
that species ofvermin, that strive to destroy
the peace of society, by hypocritical appeals TO
the masses, when the real object is to delHde
the people and destroy their independence. all
good people can only feel the most sovereign
contempt.
Those who are now in power in this State
are usurpers. and nothing else. No length OF
time, or change of circumstances, Will ever
alter this unanimous verdict of the respectable
classes of society. Those little eXpedlents OF
ary, unholy purpose, but the handwriting will
still be on the wall. and the day Will come
when the native Sonth Carolinian will be the
ruler in his own house. The Chaldean has, in
other days besides the present, rcvelled in the
splendor of holy temple-and history will
repeat itself, in the career of another Cyrus;
whose mission will be to humble the proud
usurper, and to restore to intelligence and
virtue the places from which they have been
driven by the brute force Of ignorance and
vice BAcKw0ops.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
Markets by Telegraph.
FoTEIGN MARKETS.

FOGElGS MARKETS.
LONDON, February 15.-Noon.-Consols e2s;.
Bonds S77S. Sugar dull
PARIS, February 15.-Bourse openeI dull.
Rentes 73f 20c.
LIVERPOOL, February 15.-Noon.-CottoR quiet;
uplands 11kd; Orleans 1laid; sales 10000 bales
Red Western wheat 7sa7s sd; winter wheat SIS 3D.
Corn 2,s. Tallow AS Cd.
Evenng-Cotton closed dull: urands l1Isda
11l4d; Orleans 1lssda11aid; sales 10, 600 bales ey.
ports and speculation 1000 bales. Yarns and fab
RIGS at Manchester quiet and firm.
DOMESTIC MARKETS.
NEW YunK, February 15.-Noon.-Stoc:.s -'gry
strong. Money easy at 5a6 per cent. Exchange
long, S7s; short 9ls. Gold 1875. -SiXty.two's,
coupon, 1875; Tennessee eX-coupon, 5dA; new
81; Virginia eX coupon 62ss; new 65h; Louisiana
old, ~; Levcc 6s 30; s's 81; Alabama SIS o.;
SIS G.; Georgia G's S11.; IS 90; North Carolina,
old, IS; new 26ii; South Carolina. old. S7l:. Cot
ton lower at a5c. Wheat quiet. Corn dul. Pork
dull; mess s26a2G %. Lard ljIsal5i4. Turpcn-
tine A. 1sa4Sc. Rosin lrm at 81 % for strained.
Freights quiet.
Eve:ing-Cotton heavy and lower; sales 1000
bales at CSC. Flour firm and unchansed; rather
more active. Wheat, winter lei better; spring un
changed. Corn lace lower. Pork heavy at S2i 70
ae6 80. Lard closed weak. Whiskcy favors buy.
ers Groceries dull and llrn. Naval stores quiet.
Freights steady. Money easy at 4aj per cent.
Sterling dull at 9. Geld firm NJ l9iaa2O. Govern
ments strong Southerns steady.
BALTIMORE, February lj.-Market unchanged.
CINCINNATJ, February 15.-Corn in moderate de-
manl at sc. Whiskey steady ut o3c. Provisions
dull and in light demand. Pork So. Shoulders
12kc Lard no buyers.
LOUISVILLE, February 15.-Provisions quiet.
Pork s2I 90 Shoulders 1aSc; clear sides l6lac.
Lard in kegs lSc W!iiskey 93c.
WILMINGTON, February 15-Sprits turpentinc,
nothing done. Rosin steady at 81 6Oa2. Crude
turpenine steady at 81 7oal 90. Tar steady at 81.
Cotton dull, nothing doing. Wind stormy and
rainy: wind S. S. w. Thermometer 65.
AUGUSTA February 1j.-Cotton market opened
with fair demand, but closed dull and easier:
s.lcs 5S3 bales; receipts Go bales; miAdlings
2j1s cts.
SAvANSAH, February 15.-Cotton receipts l65j
bales: exports 75s bales; sales 80 bales; market
dull; middling 23a4c.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16

THE CHARLESTON News has boldly unearthed
unprinciplcd schemes. and denounced those
engaged in them. 1t has incurred the hatred
and denunciation of those exposed, but at the
same time, has no doubt checked their eXtrava-
gance But THE NEWS has been no sevcrcr
than colored members of the Legislature.
against some of the transactions Of the gov
ernment-Cu]nden JuOrndl
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
Wilmington Market.

WILMINGTON, February 14.-Tnrpentine has
advanced 5a1oc, with sales OF lij0 bblS at 81 80
for SOFT and 81 ~ for-harl, per 2SJ lbs.
SPIRITS TUR?ENTISE.-SaleS oil So bills. at sc
per gallon.
EoSS.-Salcs OF 7l5 hbs. at 81 co for strained !.
So 10 for low No. |. and ST for pale.
TAE-S20 bbls. changed hands at 81 per bbl.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
Where !!

Where shall be the resting-place
or this weary frame OF mine?
Under palm trees in the SouthT
Under lindens by the Rhine
Shall in some desert lie,
Covered by strangers hana
or upon the barren beach
or an ocean, in the sand?
Ali one, for here or there
Heaven shall bend around my bed;
And nj night the stars shall hang
Funeral lamps above the dead.
From the German or Heiae.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
CLAssIFIcATIoN

RIcE.-There was but n limi;el bushes doing.
the rates remaining without noticeable alteration.
Sales 81 terces OF clean Carolina say 81 ,crccs Al
&C; 20 at 1880 2 1t. We quote common TO fair
clean Carolina at 5l:@5c; good 6is@Gssc z Vi.
NAVAL SToRES.-Thcrc Was no business.
FREIGHTs-Are somewhat dull. To Liverpoo ;,
by steam engagements are making at "a E
Is on uplands and 1lid on sea Islands: by
sail, 5.1G@7sd q ID on uplands, and tsaszd {, 10
on sea islands. To H.vre, by steam, nomi-
nal; by sail, nominal at &c Oh uplan'lS
and 1,sc on sea islands. Coastwise to
New York, by steam, &c q Ii Oh uplands
and &c on sea islands; by sail. &c q ib on up,
lands. To Boston, by steam, nominal; by sail, u
@Xc q fb on upands. To Philadelphia, by steam.
&c y ID on uplands; by sail, somewhat nom.
Inal. To Baltimore, by steam, Is@ssc 2 1t On
uplands; by sail somewhat nominal.
ExCHANGE-Sterling 60 days bills oS1s@e2stl.
DOMESTIC ExcHASGE.-The banks purchase
sight checks at u or, and sell at par.
Outside, they purchase q. Il OF, and sell at
H@I of.
GoLp.-19@21.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
MEMORANDA.

The bark Abblc y Franklin sailed from ST Ilel.
ena, S C. on the 18th instant, for Philadelphia
with cargo OF phoSphalcS. She was towed over
ST Helena bar to sea 10y the steamer Pilot Boy.
Eark r E Walker from MatauZas for New York,
and which put INTO this port in Distress where
she underwent some repairs reports on arrival at
New York that she Slruck OH this bar and sprung
aicak: also experienced heavy weather.
The schr 5 L Woodbury., Woodbury.. from
Georgetown. S c, arrived 1T Baltimore Fcbru-
airy Is.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
Interior Cottan Markets.

MONTGOMERY, February l2.-Our market is
dull ut 22aa4i for low mldngs. Very little doing.
ATLANTA. February 1l-rhc market closed
active at 2al,c for midd!ings;9 92 for low mddings
90 for good ordinary.
COLUMBIA February l4.-There was hut little
dong In cotton to-day, only about 40 bales sold.
We quote middling at o3a23ii.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
C0MMERCIAL NEVIS.
Exports.

BoSToN-Per schr Ida Della-2S bales upland
cotton, 1900 bbls naval stores, 1000 feet lumber,
92 casks clay, hides and sundies.
NEW YoRS-Per steamship James Adger->3iG
bales upland cotton, IL bags sea island cotton. s
terces rice 43 bales domesticS and sundries.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
DACIFIC NAIL STEAMSHIP COMPY'S
THROUGH LINE TO
CALIFORNIA, CHINA AND JAPAN.
FARES GREATLY REDUCED.

Steamers OF the above line leave Pier .esEE&k.
40. AZ. North River foot Of Canal street, .SAlsA2E
New York, OF II O'Clock noon, OF the 5lh and
2lst OF every month except when these dates fall
on Sunday, then the Saturday preceting.l
Departure OF the 21st connect aJ Panama
with steamers for South Pacific and Central Amer
lean ports Those Of 5th touch at Manzanio.
Steamship JAPAN leaves San Francisco for
japan and China March !, 1870
No California steamers touch at Havana, but go
direct from New York ID Aspinwall.
One hundred pounds baggage free to each adul:
Medicine and attendance free.
For Passage Tickets or further information ap
ply at the COMPANY'S TICKET OFFICE, Oh the
wharf, foot OF Canal-street, North River, New
York. +. r. BABY, Agent
march12 Tyr
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
EoR NEW YORK.

Champion r ". Lockwood, Com. GAl4Is
mander, Of the New York and Charleston Steam
ship Company's Line, will leave Adger,s South
Wharf on SATURDAY, the 10Th instant, ut O'Clock
p. NJ. precisely.
Ca Through Bills Of Lading given on Cotton to
Liverpool and Boston.
G1- Superior Accommodations for Passengers.
feb1G4 JAMES ADGER CO., Agents.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16


these
available Fertilizer
condition its ou
cheapest Fertilizer
contain Soluble
hchig
Their n
all Ceps discount for
NV
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
PLAIN WORDS FOR THE TINES.

THE REAL INTERESTS OF THE LABoRlSG
MEN.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
BY TELEGRAPH.

SAVANNAH, February 1j-Arrved, steamship
San Jacnto. New York. Sailed, steamship Leo.
New York: ships County of PictOu, Waterfront
and British Queen. Livcrpool; schrs r Baird,
Sagua la Grande: II + Russell, Jacksonville.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
The Charleston Cotton, Rice AID Naval
Stores Market.

OFFICE CHARLESTON NEWS,
TUESDAY EVENING, February Is, 1870.
CorroN.-The market for this article was some
what quiet, partly from unfavorablc weather,
prices showing no material change, the rates in
some cases being slightly softer. Sales about
400 bales, say Il; %; 50 at 223; II 1t &C.
at 23l; IS q. o3Is; II at 23s. Is at 23a 81 at 24
S6 at 24A: S at 2!'n: Il at o4l:. We quote:
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
ro rHE Ep1ToR oF THE NEWS.

Who Give the Votes and Who ENJOY
the Offices.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16

The Fine Iron Screw Steamship -,gEEH.s-.
.LUMSDEN,:' J. Rutter Commander .ssAlsssass4Es GsAlsssasE9
Is now ready to receive Freight for the above
port, and has portion Of her cargo engaged anu
going OH board.
Through Bills Lading signed in Charleston to
all principal ports on the Continent OF Europe.
Marine Insurance by this line at low rates.
For Freight engagements apply TO
fcb9 ROBERT MURE < co.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
nor NEW YORK-THURSDAY
THE Al sIDE.wHEEL STEAMSHIP

Adkins, Commander win sail for ->EEe,
New York on THURSDAY, February sSGets544.4G
18th, at O'Clock P. NJ, from Pier No. 2 Union
Wharves.
Through Bills Ladng will be issued for Cotton
to LIVERPOOL, HAVRE, Boston and tile New
England Manufacturing Cities.
Freight on Sea Island, &c; Upland, &c;
Rice, 81 25 per cask.
Insurance by the Steamers Of this line u per
cent.
For Freight engagements, or passage, having
very superior state room Recommendations all new
lyfurnshed, apply to WAGNER, HUGER 4 CO., No.
20 Broad street, or to WM. y. COCRTENAY,
No. Union Wharves. 1eOl4
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-02-16
SUPPLIED WITH CABIN AND
" MESS STORES ON SHORT NOTICE.

Captains and Stewards are respect .gEESe.
fully invited to call and examine the .saIEas5s GsaIaSaSs
quality and prices Of our GOODS. Full weight
guaranteed. Delivered free Of expense.
WM. S. CORWIN & CO.,
No. 2I5 King street, opposite Ilasel,
Charleston, S. c.
aD- Branch OF No. 300 Broadway, New York.
jan21
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20
Budget of Finn.
Flize.
/ hate Q fiji.
A eli is got no more manners.
Ha aiu't no gentleman.

Ihate fiji.
A iii is got no more manners
He amt no gentleman.
He's an introoder, don't send in no ksrd nor
AK interduckshun, nor don't knox ut the front
door, and nuver, nuver think Nv takin off his hat
Fust thing you know he is in bed with you
and up your nose-tho what he wants is a mis-
try-and he invites himself to breakfast and sets
doun in your butter, thout breshin his pants
He helps himself to sugar, and meat, and me-
lassis, aud bred, and presurves, and Winery
ennything, and don't wait for no invitashun.
Hes got good appytite, aud jiss as sun eat one
thing as anuther.
Taint no use to challinge him for takin liber-
ties he keeps up hostile kerrispondence with
you wether or not and shoots hisset at you ike
bullet, and he nuvsr misses, nuver
He'll kiss your 90 times day, and zizz and
ZOO, aud ridikule you if you say word, and he'd
rathur you'd slap at him than not, coz he's a
lodges Nv the dodgirnist kline. Every time you
slap, you don't slap him, but slaps yoself, and he
zzzes and pints the hine leg Nv skorn at you,
till he aggrevates you to distrackshin.
He glories in lightin every pop on the ixackt
spot whar you druv him from, WITCH pruves the
intenshun to teeze you. Don't tell me he amt
got no mind; he knows what he is alter. He's
got sense and to much Nv it, tho he nuver went
to skool day in his life Except in sup.dish.
He's a mean, malignant, owdashus, premed.
dltated cuss.
His mother nurver padded him with slip.
per in the face. His morals wuz niglecktid,
and he lacks good deal Nv humility mitely.
He amt bashful bit, and / doubt eff he
bushes oiting.
In fack, he wuz nuver fetched up at all.
He wuz born full grown, he don't git old
uther thinga gifts DID, but he nuver gifts Old-and
he ia imperdent and mischievous to the day Nv
his death.
He droopz in cold weather, and you kin mash
him on q window pain and you've jest put yore
finger in it. He Gums again next year and a
heep more with him faint no
One iii TO family might do for amusement,
but the good nv so many tize | be dog ef | kin
see; kin yuc
l hav ,hot much about fzc, and hav notist
how citing they stop in thar devilry TO comb
thar heads and -krstch thar nose with thar four
legs, and gouge thor arm-pits under thar wings,
and the tops NV thar wings with thar legs.
Aud my kandid opyniun ar, that fze is lows
Y, they eeches all the time, is mserbul, and that
makes it bad-tempered, and want TO make luther
peepil misrebul too.
Fl that amt the fossyfy Nv tlixe give it up.
Attic iii don't send in his kard, he always
leaves one, and DON'T like it. Tain. pritty eff tits
round. He kant make cross mark, only dot,
and he is always dosting whar thar amt no is
Thars no end to his periods, but he nuver Gums
to full stop. Such handwritin is dizagreabi
He's artiss but his ireshco and his wall pa.
perrin don't sdmirer. Thars too much same
ness in his patterns. His specs is the only spec.
that don't help the eyes. You can't see throc
um, and you don't want too.
l hate I'll.
burn q fl.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

ARKANSAS GRAMMAR.-An Arkansas appli-
cant for a teachers certificate thus cenjugates
the verb ITO DO -
Imperiec.-I have done it, thou donest it, he
done it.
Perfect-I gone done it, you gone done it, he
gone done it
Plural-Weuns gone done it, youns gone done
it, theyuns gone done it.
he guine done it.
Plural-Weuns guine done it, youns guins
done it, theyuns guine done it.
Future perfect done guine done it, you
done guine done it, he done guine done it.
Plural-Weuns done guine dsne it, youns done
guine done it, theyuns done guins done it.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20
burn q fl.

A FrGHTIsT-The following from an exchange
is description Of an individual it would per-
hsps be HANDY 10 hava in au Office:
- fighting editor has been employed on this
paper He weighs 500 pounds His fists are
the very tools of death his hair is very short /;
his eyes are black his boots are No. II. Oh, he
is monster, this fighting IN an OF ours He
goes for men like an ant Tor green cheese. He
was never thrashed. Oh, he is d whale ! He
ate seventeen cans of oysters az our Office the
other night and called for more. He is the
heaviest instrument of total and eternal punish.
ment on record Come at Us, we lean and lank,
overgrown specimens Of humanity; spit on our
boots il you dare slide down our cellar doors ii
you can; and ii our wallupus don't evcrlastingly
60 for you, then size and belt have nothing in
them
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

This is the pure, undilutsd English for "Jor.
dams hard road to travel" Perambulatory
progression, in the pedestrianary excursion along
the far.famed thoroughfare of fortune. cast up
by the banks Of the sparkling river of Palestine,
Is indeed attended with heterogeneous con.
glomo ration of unforeseen difficulties.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

Prof g., Of Hartford, the other day felt un.
conf ortably stiff and sore-caught cold, perhaps.
He lay down on q lounge, and requested his
friend w. to knesd and rub him after the move.
ment cure style. w. gently beat him on the
chest. "How hollow it pounds," said K, who
was looking on. "That's nothing" said w.;
"wsit till get to his head"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

Mrs. WEIGH. of New York. doesn't believe in
the census and told the marshal so lin words and
figures" as follows, to wit: "What have to do
wid the government? Are yez the guvern.
ment? Answer questions. is it? Divil wan
of me, and don't ye stand in that door long, or
may be the government will loose his scalp, and
it may be the tail of his coat Out wild yez "
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

Elbow heavy you walk exclaimed Mrs
Mackwhack, on hearing her husband tumbling
or stumbling up stairs the other night "Well,
my DEAR" was the grutf response, 'if you can
get barrel of whisky up stairs with less noise,
l should like to see you do it."
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

While passing house in Virginia two drum.
mers observed q very peculiar chimney, unfn.
ished, and it attracting their attention they
asked a haxen.haired urchin standing near the
house if it "drawed we'll" whereupon the afore.
said urchiR replied: Eyes, it draws the attention
Of all the darn fools that pass this road"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

A country laird, who had lately been elevated
to the Office of u country magistrate, meeting tho
Rev. Mr.. Thorn, of Govan on horseback, attempt.
ed POPULARITY by remarkiug that he was more
ambitious than his Master, who was content to
ride upon An ass. "They Gamma be gotten noo,' "
said Mr.. Thorn, 'for they're a made justice o
the peace"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-08-20

A little boy in a Danvers school was asked by
his teacher for some reason why women should
not vote, and triumphantly answered, "Cause
they are afraid of caterpillars.'