The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-04-01
the Tribune.
WOMAN SUFFRAGE.

WOMAN SUFFRAGE.
Poor Guy Hamilton If not dea,
he must be mOrta1ly wounded. Blu
stop, don't carry him from off tn,
bloOd-stained battlefield yet. Al
though he has aroused the cundemna
tiOn of immortal Romeos, and kindle,
the wrath of the benignant Juliet, h
can yet raise strong right arm in hi
own defense. 4 few weeks ago, h,
entered the arena, proud, hopeful an,
defiant, threw down the gauntlet anC
dared the knights of all ChristendOn
to test the power of his arms. All
| little he then knew of the valOr tina
dwelt within the breast of Christian
knights! Hardly bad the sound o
his voice died out in the distance err
there rode into the arena one of Bloom
ville's valiant champions. Above hi
crested helmet waved the banner o
the cross, and depicted thereon, il
glowing letters, was the motto
''0ld Bloom of the TRIBUNE" Blu
he entered not alone. By his side
rode one of ChristendOm's fairest c?
daughters. She came all armed fol
the contest, and on her ensign shOnC
forth the words, Gamma Maria Dodge
of the Advertiser"
But to plunge beneath the nom d,
IOlIlBIes of the Dranldtis personnel "OlC
Bloom" is, without doubt, q disap
pointed old bachelor. His ugly look
ing physiOg fOrbids the thought of his
ever attempting TO gain the affections
of the fair ones by his personal attrac'
tiOns, so he resorts to stratagem.-
He advocates Woman Suffrage, and
seeks to use that rs a means by which
to engraft himself upon the affections
of the ladies. Heaven pity you Old
Bloom the ladies never will. But
who, you ask, is Anna Maria Dodge
Not an image Ofangelic lOveliness, ,yOn
can rest assured. No sir. We will
wager our reputation rs prophet
(which is worth exactly three cents,
against fifty dollar greenback, that
Anna Maria Dodge is one of the home
liest old maids that ever dwelt within
the confines of Seneca. Now, Anna
Maria don't rave, don't pour down on
our innocent head the vials of your
concentrated wrath, for you know its
u fact and can't deny it.
So much by way of preface. Now
to meet and repek the attacks of these
valiant knights. First come the
keen sword thrusts of "Gentle Anna"
She enters into most heart-repding
plea OH the abject servitude into which
her sex have been forced. Says this
great exponent of Woman Rights,
"the doors of the Colleges of the land
are barred against our entrance. y
Are they? Has Miss Anna Maria
lived under the shades of old Heidel-
berg until she has blOOmed into a love
ly old maid of just sweet thirty-five,
and not seen the host of feminine A.
B'sand feminine B. LIS that have iSsu-
ed from her classic walls Does she not
know that all over this fair land of
ours, we have colleges and universities
and semiHaries where both young men
and young ladies can receive the best
of education? Surely, Anna Maria,
you must be either blind or non com
pos DIe1ltis.
Again, she exclaims, "the industrial
occupations are withheld from us, and
our wages are curtailed W Why, my
dear Anna, you have just rs good "A
right to enter any avOcatiOn in life rs
has the sex that "that contemplate
Guy Hamilton" represents. II you
wish To commence the profession of
wood saving all you are compelled to
do is simply to do as other men do
buy a saw and buck and start ont. I'll
wager you will receive rs much, if not
more, per cord for your work than does
either "Hansu or "Pat." If you
want to carry mortar up a four story
brick building, put lightning rods on
a church steeple, dig bitches, quarry
stones, haul dirt, work ut trade,
clerk, practice medicine or enter the
bar you have q perfect right to do it.
The law does not lay one single OBJ
stacle in your pathway, and it is all
folly for you to contend that it is first
necessary for you TO WELD the ballot
before you can do these things. You
can do them now. But you say "it is
considered disgrace for ladies to en-
gage in any useful occupation" Well,
perhaps many OF the idiOtie indiyidu-
ais of our land do think so, but how,
pray tell me, is the giving to you of
the elective franchise going to dispcl
these fallaciOus notions.
Then Anna Maria, soaring TO the
heights Of logic and elOquence, after
telling Us that ''in Massachusetts, there
are 81, 900 more women than men,"
demands, "what are you going to do
with them ?' Well that is n Sticker
I'll admit. Brigham has standing
advertisement in New York paper
for Just $1,000 more women. Why
wouldn't it be a good idea to send them
to him? No insult to the sex, is il =?
Well, we will have to try something
else then. My receipt is, to ship them
west. In the territories there are
hundreds and thousands Of good men
destitute of wives, and the 62,OO
women Of Mass, and the surplus in
all the other Eastern States, could no
doubt crafty the desire Of their hearts
there And, by the way Miss Dodge
wouldn't that be capital place for
YOU to emigrate to? Then comes
miserable Old Bloom, with his pom
derous sword history, and makes a
terrible lunge at the heart of poor
Guy. He maintains that Mary
Bloody MaFy-was q christian, EliZ-
abeth saint, and Victoria a model Of
perfection. To all OF which Gentle
Anna fervently says Amen. So let it
be. But how, We would like to know,
are they gOing to reconcile such as
sertions as these, to the facts as they
exist in history? III it is not trespass-
ing upon the patience Of the accom-
mOdating editor, We could convince
our old bachelor friend and his COM
panion in arms, that the reign of not
only Mary, Elizabeth and Victoria,
but also that the reigns of three
fOurths of the women that ever sat on
a throne, have been a disgrace to the
times in which they lived. But we
refrain. The question is not 50 much,
ais woman capable of voting or hold
ing office 2" as it is, "what is the e.
feet that it would have upon the do
nestle circle, and the rising genera
tiOn 90 That its effect would be ruin
Ous We sometimes fiatter ourselves we
have already clearly proven But
enough for this time. These veteran
OF Woman Suffrage have,
we admit, utterly overwhelmed the
forces of poor Guy. They can ex-
claim with the heroic Caesar; ''UaRi
Uidi Iei." But before he leaves the
bloody field of carnage, let him hurl
but one more yOlley in the ranks of
his victorious enemies. ..
One OF the best reasons in the world
why the demand Of these WOMAN suf-
fragists should not be aeceded to, lies
in the simple fact concisely stated
the women Of the land don't want the
right of Suffrage. .-...f
Sound the opinion of the American
women and you will find that they
not only disapprOye OF this wOmaIs'
rights movement, but that they also
actually look with disgust upon those
who advocate it. It is only snch in
dividIlals as Anna Dickinson, Eliza
beth Cady Stanton, Susan B. An
thOny, Lucy StOne-Oh yes and An
ma Maria Dodge, and Old Bloom, who
are making all this hue and cry about
Woman Suffrage The Legislature Is
being petitiOned every day by ladies,
not TO pass law forcing suffrage up
Ii was only the other day
- 4 =. III L.