The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-07-01
NEWS AND MISCELLANY.

The finest turnout in The Bots de Bou-
logne, Paris, this season, is that OF Lew
is Cass, son of the late Secretary.
Fifty thousand dollars is wanted to
bail Gen. O'Neil out of the Burlington
Jail. Two thousand have been raised.
A Wisconsin lover caught his bride
carrying in "back log that he himself
could not lift. and he concluded not TO
marry i'll that family.
Paper napkins for table use have Just
been introduced into the restaurants in
Germany. They answer every purpose
Tor one using. Three of them cost less
than n cent.
The uprising of sex throughout the
world is certainly unique fact in his
tory, and can hardly fail of some i'm
portant results. So says Miss Frances
Power Cobbe. r-.--
A passenger on an Ohio railroad was
aroused from serene slumber the other
night by the footing of the whistle, and
exclaimed: 1.-THE train has caught up
with those cattle again."
a patty of seventy-fve Cinnamon
have been brought TO Adams, Mass,
where they are to be employed as shoe
makers at S23 per month the first year,
and S26 the next two years.
a French paper in New Orleans comes
TO us with this paragraph: Charles
Dickens, the great American romancer,
died yesterday of apopleXy. He S-as
the Walter Scott of America"
The estimab!e wife of Red Cloud is
said TO have expressed wild, yearning
desire for the scalp OF Theodore TiIton,
fancying that it will make very SER
viceable, tasty looking door-mat.
Edward Burlingame, son of the late
Minister, is going 10 look after the San
Francisco property purchased by his
father three OF four years ago, which
Califernians now declare is worth about
SS00,000.
Blood is still pretty thick in England.
Nine families contribute three members
to the House of Commons, and in the
same body there are twenty-one pairs
of brothers and seven pairs of fathers
and sons.
1t is said that Brigham Young has an
eye turned toward Mexico, if there is
an attempt made to compel him and his
saints to abandon polygamy, and that
Juarez is willing TO receive him with
open arms.
The Milwaukee Wisconsin,, of the 10th
inst, reports that wheat was coming in
faster than it could be stored, and at
that date there were over one and half
million bushels in store in the various
elevators in the city.
Mark Twain declares that he will not
lecture this year. He SAYS he has fig
uFed up his income and finds he has all
the money he wants, and don't see the
necessity of crucifying himself before
an audience every night
Here is the pithiest sermon ever
preached: Cur ingress in life is naked
and bare; our progress through life is
trouble and care; our egress out of it
we know not where; but doing well
here we shall do well there"
A little schoolboy out West presented
his teacher the following note from
home as an excuse for tardiness Baby
cross Biscuit to Bake Had no Baken
powders the dog upset the coffee pot
the cat licked in the Milk got up late
Excuse
a man at Springfield, H., bet two
ladies' new dress each that they could
not refrain from talking for two hours.
one of them held out for an hour and
ten minutes aud the other W on the dress.
They made it up on him when the time
had expired.
Red Cloud, when allowed to look
upon the piles OF gold in the United
states Treasury, was rude enough 10
remark to Boutwell, that he did not like
the looks of the gold as well as he did
those of the female clerks i'm the de-
partment. The savage was at once ia
ken into the open air.
Near the cgose of his speech in Wash
ingtoD, Red Cloud pointed 10 a lady
present, Mrs. Fanny Kelly, and gener-
ously asked that she should be paid for
the property his people had destroyed
in Dakota out of the money apporiioned
to them. Mrs. Kelly is Young and fresh
looking, bearing no marks of hardship
or trouble. She said that while a cap
tive TO them the terrible war chief had
treated her with the greatest respect
and kindness.
At Decoration Day celebration near
New Bedford, while the military stood
shoulder to shoulder, shutting ont the
view from fashionable party in the
rear, kid-gloved youth demonstrated
thusly with the soldiers: "My dear fell
low. you prevent our seeing YOU are
standing up there right III front of u.s."
A high private answered pointedly,
es, sir, and we stood in front and
covered you all through the warl"
EAST WIND.-Why should the wind
coming from the east over an ocean of
water depress the human body, while
that which comes from the west across
a continent enlivens the spirits aud gives
courage and vigor? Be this as it NAV,
it seems as if some people never felt any
wind that was not east. They are al
ways tout of Sorts" The weather is
always just what they don't want. I
met one of those men awhile ago, q
farmer, who raised all manner of crops.
1t was wet day, and | said:
"Mr. Nayling, this rain will be fine
for your grass crop"
eyes, perhaps; but it is bad for the
corn, and will keep it back. / don't be-
lieve we shall have crop"
A few days after this, when the sun
was shining hot, said: i ~
'Fine sun for your corn, SIR" @
"Ycs, pretty fair, but its awful for the
rye. Rye wants cold weather."
Again, on cold morning, 1 met my
neighbour, and said:
Mr.. Nayling." - -
Eyes, but it is the very worst weather
for corn and grass. They want heat to
bring them forward" ~ b.
So the man lives in a perpetual east
wind. Nothing suits him, and il would
be impossible for Providence TO give.
him weather about which he would not
grumble. / know one man who feels
that our country is on the very brink of
ruin, the Government curse, and every.
thing to be destroyed. And he has felt
and talked thus for at least thirty years,
and yet his property has been increased
in value all this time, amid this gather
ing ruin. The fact is, tie man lives in
an unchanging east wind. And there is
Mr.. Slow, who lives in the hollow I'M
der the Long Hill he has been mourn
ing for many years over the degeneracy
of the times, and aiways telling what
wonderful lawyers. and doctors, aud
ministers there were when he was
young! He can sleep under any preach
ing he now hears, and the lawyers seem
to be Young upstarts, or too old to prac-
tice: He longs for the good old times.
All! Mr.. Slow, does your W eather-yane
ever point anywhere but TO the east p
Ree. John Todd, ID. d.
SNOWMAN ELoqUEScE.-Tbef following
is the latest piece of Snowman elequenee:
Gentleman, this is the celebrated boa
constrictor-the finest, largest, strong
est, aud prettiest animal of its species