The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-22
How They Dined.

~ Britain, an arlstocratic English gen
tleman built residence in the vicinity of !
Fort George, on the Niagara frontier, and |
in accordance with the old country idea
Of eXclusiveness, he inclosed his grounds |.
with a high board fence. Here he lived
like an old English gentleman, so that
none of the elite of the officers of the
neighboring garrison were permitted to
pass his gates There was very good
understanding between the American Of
ficers at Fort Niagara and the British Of
ficers at Fort George, and the men were
permitted occasionally to visit back and
forth. Among the American soldiers was
queer chap, who suffered terribly, and
was always getting into mischief
One day this chap took small boat
that lay moored at the foot of the walls
of the fort, and crossed over the Canada
shore t. have hunt. He wandered over
several miles in the rear Of Fort George
without meeting any game, and on his
return, seeing a crow within the enclo-
sure of the aristocratic Enelishman, he
scaled the fence and brought down his
game. The Colonel witnessed the trans
action, and advanced while the soldier
was reloading. He was very angry but
seeing the Yankee standing with a loaded
gun in his hands he gulped down his an
ger for a moment and merely asked him if
he had killed the crow.
l am sorry" said the Colonel, "for
he was pet. BY the way, that is very
pretty gun; will you be so kind as to let
me look at it p
The soldier complied with his request.
The other took the gun and stepped back
a few PAGES, and then broke into TRADE
Of abuse, concluding with an order to
stoop down and take bite of the crow
or he would blow his brains out.
The soldier explained, apologized and
entreated. The colonel kept his finger
on the trigger, and sternly repeated his
command
There was shoot in the Englishman's
eye; there was no help for it, and the
suffering soldier stopped down and took
bite of the crow, but swallow it he
could not. Up came his breakfast, and
it appeared as if he would throw up his
toe-nals. The Englshman gloated over
the misery of his victim, and smiled COM
placently at every additional heave.-
When he got through vomiting and wi
ping his eyes, the Colonel handed him
his gun, with the remark " Now, ras-
cal that will teach you how to poach on a
gentlemans enclosure"
The Yankee soldier took his gun, and
the Colonel might have seen the devil in
his eye if he had looked close. Stepping
back he took deliberate aim at the heart
Of his host and ordered him instantly to
finish the crow. Expostulations, prayers
and entreaties were useless. There was
shoot in Yankees eye then. There was
no help at hand and he took bite of the
crow One bite was enough to send all
the good dinner he had lately eaten on
the same journey with the garrison fare
Of the soldier, and while the Englshman
was in the agony Of sickness, Jonathan
escaped to the American shore The
next morning the commander Of Niagara
was sitting in his quarters, and COL,
was announced Sir" said he, g come
W ucudlu Vlc punishment VI one Ol
your men, who yesterday entered my
premises and committed great outrage" "
We have three hundred men here,
and it would be difficult for me to know
who you mean" said the officer.
The Englishman described him as a
long, dangling, stoop shouldered, slut
tering devil.
" All, know who you mean," said the
officer, " he is always getting into trouble,
Orderly, call Tom"
In a few minutes Tom entered, and
stood straight as his natural build would
allow, while not a trace Of emotion was
visible in his countenance.
Tom" said the officer, " do you know
this gentleman
" Ye-ye-ye-ye-yes sir"
"Where did you see him before ?"
{" d-d-dined with him yesterday"
1t is needless to say that the joke was
against the Englishman, and that Tom
escaped punishment"