The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1870-01-26
Josh Billings Papers.
JEWS 'HARPs.

A gentleman IL gentleman the wore
over--loafers differ.
Benevoence IL the cream that rizes or
the milk ov human kindness.
Courage without discretion liz a ram with
horns on both ends-he will have mort
fites on hand than he kan well attend to.
Hunting after happiness IL like hunting
after lost sheep in the wilderness; when
yu lind i: the chances are that it is skele
ton.
dog IL the only animal kritter who
luvs yu more than he luvs himself.
! There is 10 more real satisEackson in
laying mp in yure buzZum an injury than
there IL III stutfing dead hornet. who has
stang you. and keeping him tew lock at.
Old friends are like old cheese, the
strongest. 8t
] Lies are like ilesiimate chidren-thoy
are liable to call man Father when he
least eXpeckts it.
All money that is well spent IL good
vestment
If we would all Nv US take kare ov our
own souls, and let our neighbors aiOne
thare woutd be less time lost, and more
souls saved.
Before would preach the gospel NJ
some ministers are obliged to, for $50 dol.
lars a year, would get living as Nebud-
kenraaer did, and let the congregaShun 90
teW grass too. a,
! Cuntentment is the vttles and drink oy
the soul.
Did you ever hear a son braogirg about
his father. whose father could with iusts
brag about his son?
The safest kind of laite 1 know ov is
humanity.
The man who never makes enay mistakes
like the angleworm, never Cite far away
from his hole.
A brilliant blnnler in writer il often
one ov his best hits.
Tyranny is often changed but never des-
troyed.
Sucking a whipt sillybub thru rhy straw
il good deal like treing tew live on buty.
never knu profound phool yet who
did not alfekt gravity, nor IL truly wise
laan whose face was not aIwus cooked and
primed for q laugh.
Prudery IL nothing more than coquetry-
gone to seed.
New York IL a fast place-yu kant
even pass funeral procession, unless yu
| GOT tne fastest moss.
Truth has hardly clothing enugh tew hide
its nakedness.
A pompous man il like full-blown
bladder; it il pure malice tew pick him.
The money and morality Nv this world
are good deal alik the principal never
loses sight ov the interest.
Pity costs nothing-and amt worth
nothing.
What men kant do they are apt to adj
| nire they don't ctitcise u mountains be-
kause they kant make one.
Poverty IL one Of. ihem kind ov mis-
fortunes that we all If US dread but none
ov US pity.
Thare il lots ov people in this world
who covet nisfortnnes, list for the luxury
ov grunting.
1t is comparatively eazy tew repent ov
the sins that we hav committed, but tew
repent of those which We intend to COM
init is asking tew much of emmy man now
IL days
] thank God for one thing. and that IL
when everybody else IL happy, am sure to
tie.
Most men 20 thru life as rivers 90 tew
the sea, hi following the lay ov he ground.
In youth we run into diflikultys, in old
age difiku,tys, runs into us.
"rimes amt ez they used to be"--thi-
haz bin the solum aud wise remark ov
mankind ever since Adam was a hoy.
Secrets are poor property at best; if yu
cirkulate them yu lose iuttest Oh the in
vestment.
Prosecuted for the Devils save, il what
sinners git tor their allegiance.
Sum people won't hrleave emmy thing
they kant pr owe ; the things I can't prove
are the very things believe the most
Pride never shows itself more disgusting
y than in the pomp ov phuneral.
Happiness IL not ideness, but its spirit
IL as free from labor as the life ov yearl-
ing heifer.
Good examples amung the rulers are the
best laws that we kan eIakt.
The devil is probaby the best judge OF
human naiur that ever lived, and he must
have believed in the doktrine of total de-
pravity. or lie wouldn't hay undertook tew
tempt the Saviour.
A gentleman about town liz one who
pays cash for everything except his debts,
Money il like charity, it tivvers a null
titude ov sins.
A pedant il one who fills himself in u.
celler with the klam broth ov literature
aud then picks biz teeth in the society ov
the learned.
There IL but little If emmy cere mony be
tween wize men. but between Il wize man
and phool cerimony IL the ouly thing
that will make phool feel respectable,
When you find man who IL very solisi.
tus about the welfare ov everybody, you
kan safely put him az one who is hunting
for misfortune