The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1870-08-18
WHERE THE LAUGHCOMEs

WHERE THE LAUGHCOMEs IN
Motto of the Misunderstanding plant.
Chicago on white Stockings"
'em.
Can cock-crowing be called (h) )enchaut-
ing2 r.
Men of means are oftea the meanest of
The grandest verse in existence-the uni
verse.
When is coffee real estate? When it is
ground.
-Laziness now -a-days is termed, 81 don't
feel weIl.''
Advice to persons out of employment
Westward hoe
Song of the postmen-"Oh, letters, be
happy together!''
When patient begins to feed more the
doctor IS feed less
Fifteen thousand bachelors in Kansas
have 'none to caress."
-Promissory notes-Tuuing the fiddle be.
fore the performance begins.
livery man his own angel,'' is the wav
new Tying machine is announced.
= " hat is that which by losing an eve
has nothing but nose left ? Noise
What is whisky bringing now? Thou
Why are ships called ''she % Because
they always keep man on the lookout.
= Blessed is the pedagogue In scorchipg
days he is the only one that keeps school.
At what season of the year did Adam
and I've SO out of the garden of Eden In
the fall
Why are crows the most sensible of all
birds because they never complain with
out caws.
"A dishonest bankrupt and an honest
one have this reSemblance-theyb both fail to
make money.
Why should Romeo not have cared for
the month of June2 Because it was not
July yet Outlet,
When did Noah go into the vine busi-
ness lie made port about forty days after
the deluGe began.
Why do young ladies put their fair in
paper at night? So as to wake early (wake
curly in the morning.
"A sign on an eating house on the New
Jersey Railroad reads: 'C,ffee and fresh laid
eggs by Mrs. Mary Jones'"
"A punster. passing by the shop of a GER
tain Mr.. Tasweli, remarked that his name
would be As-wen without the T.
The ladies at some of our seaside re-
sorts positively refuse to bathe in sight of
the buoys put out for their safety.
-" lis the last rose of summer as the
Wag exclaimed when be got out of bed on
the morning of the 3lst of August.
here is only one good substitute for
the endearments of a sister, and that is the
endearments of some other fellows sister.
-Iu tavern here says a country paper
man named Drum is the barkeeper. His
trierds call him the spirit stirring drum. y
cry few horses will eat picked salmon
but we saw one standing in front of gro
Gerry store the other day with a bit in his
mouth.
"A voice comes from Washington Terri
tory, say ing, "Send us wives 20 and thou
Sano unhappy Benedicts respond, Take
ours !"
"A histrionic Individual. who has heard
good deal about the theatre of war;, s,,g-
gests that the back seats must be the most
desirable.
when a mother puts her child to sleep.
OF what two places in the vicinity of New
York does she remind you2 Sing Sing and
Rockaway.
"A grave digger in Kansas CITY. who
buried a man named Button, senta bill to his
widow as follows: ITO making one Button-
hole, So. .5O.''
"A precociCus boy in school ont West
VINO stands high in geography. on being in,
terroSated as to where Africa was located
promptly replied, ''All over the United
States"
My dear" said the sentimental Mrs
Waddies' home. You know is always the
dearest spot on earth" ''Well. yes,'' said
the practical Mr. Waddles, sit does cost
ABOUT twice as much as any other spot"
-Ihe Detroit Tribune says that since the
Chinese shoemakers have commenced nee
ging away at North Adams, Mass. the place
has become quite temperance community
There isn't CHEEKY cobbler to be found in
the town.
"A late invention consists of an In,lia
rubber bed, made air tight and filed with
yeast. 1t was invented for the sole purpose
of'maklDg lazy people rise early, as the spirit
gets at iull headway about daylight every
morning.
"A pretty girl at the Catskill took the
bursting OF her trunk so good naturedly that
a wealthy Gothamite was captiyated, nro.
posed. and was accepted. Now there isn,t
a girl at the mountain but has smashed her
trunk all to pieces, just to show how sweet
her temper is.
My boy" said clergyman TO lad
whom he found fishing on Sunday. .sdon,t
yon know that it is wicked to catch fish ON
the Sabbath 2'' "Well. s'pose it is.'' said
the boy, without taking his eyes from the
noat, guess baint sinDed much yet. capse
! haven't had darned nibble at nv hook So
faT.'' 0N %
"A wisconsin paper tells OF yonno
couple who went to Delaven to celebrate the
fonrth ID style. Putting up at hotel. tbey
were served With ice-cTeaID for dessert. Rus
ucaS tasted the cool confection. rolled it from
one side of his mouth to the other. and finally |
eAcniafRH I n.