The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1870-06-24
Pepper Pods.
BY JOSH BHITNGS.

BY JOSH BILLINGS.
If yu hev got a spirited and noble boy
appeal tew his generosity; if yu hav got
heavy and sullen one, appeal tew his back
A CRATE menny ov our people go abroad
tew improve their minds who hadn't enny
minds when they war at home; knowledge
like charity, shud begin at home, the1
spred.
Afiickshuns are the compliments tina.
Heaven pays tew the virtewous.
Nobody but a phool will spend hiz tim
trieing tew convince 3 phool.
Time IL like money, the less We hav on
it tew spare the further we make it 90.
The tongue IL really q very fast member
oV the body politick; he duZ all the talking
and twc-thirds ov the thinking.
Thare IL menny a person VINO kan set 9
mousetrap tew perfeckshun, but, not salts
fed with SIGH small game, undertake few
trap for bears, and git ketched by the bears.
Moral-studdy yure genius, and stick teW
mice.
"Let him go, mi son." sed an ancient
father to hiz boy, who had caught q yune
rabbit, land when he gifts bigger ketch
him agin." The boy did az he wuz told,
and haz been lookin for that rabbit ever
since.
The world owes all its energys and re-
inement tew luxurys-digging roots for
breakfast and going naked for clothes. IL
the virtewous innocence of lazy savage.
Thare IL lots ov folks who eat well, and
drink well, and sleep well, and yet are sick
all the time-theze are the folks who alvuz
enjoy poor health.
A person with little smattering oY learn
ing, IL a good deal like a hens egg that haz
been sot o. for a short time, and then de-
serted by the hen-it is spite for Matching
out ~ennything.
people ov good sense" are those whose
opinyuns agree with ours.
Thare IL q CRATE deal of magnificent pov-
erty in u big citys-people who eat klam
soup out ov a tin basin with a gold spoon.
The place whar poverty, virtew and luv
meet and worship together, liz the most
sakred spot in this universe.
Experience don't make a man SO bold NJ
it duz so careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never haz a
playspell or froik; it liz stiff from morning
till night, from top to bottom, like a sled
stake.
There amt but worry little ginowine good
sense in this world emmy how, and what
little thare IL amt in market-it is held for
a dividend.
-ACoC Wv hdNO llduO uD IldT6 ml0US
lead a life Of enjoyment will find the
following recipee a crate help tew them:
"Io one Dance oV pleasure add a pound ov
repentan ce."
Adversely IL o pouItess which reduces
our vanity and strengthens our virtew-
even a boy never feels half SO good az
when he haz been spanked and sot away to
cool.
Pedantry IL the science oV investing
what little yu know in one kind ov per-
fumery, and insisting upon sticking that
under evry man knOZe whom w meet.
Lieing is like trieing few hide in a fog, if
yu move about yure in danger nv humping
yure he'd again the truth, and az soon az
the fog blows oph yu are gone ennyhcw.
Marrying an angel liz the poetry of mar
but living with her IL the prose, and
this IL all well enUf if the taste ov the
poetry hain't spite our relish for the proze.
The man who lives on hope must pick
the bones oy disappointment.
The devil IL sed TO be the father ov lies.
II this IL so, he haz got a large family, and
\ CRATE menny promising children amung
Life IL like a mug ov beer, froth al the
,op, oil in the middle, and settings at the
We should iy in this life ez tho we war
on glaze ice, liable to fall at emmy
moment: and tew be LATED at bi the by
Men, if they amt too lazy, liv sumtimes
Ill they are so, and destroy the time q
,ood deal az follows: the first 30 years
hey spend throwing stuns at a mark; the
econd 30 they soend examining the mark
CIV see WHARF the stuns hit, and the re-
nainder liz divided in cussing the stun
hrowing bizzin ess and nussin the ruma-
lzz.