Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-02-10

buck, what Mr.. Robertson in his School"
calls "a floating, or . fainting, or sink
ing, or aswimming." Perhaps q marriage
is patched up, when the young people are
not whit better prepared TO marry than
disturbing feeling that some Of the best
years of life have been unwisely spent in
long delay that has nothing to show for
itself
There is no doubt but q wise mother
will seek to take daughter from such an
eminently unsatisfactory condition Of
affairs. She Is not to be thought hard and
worldly, If, with president eye, she de.
tects possible entanglements and strate.
gically guards against them. She has q
well grounded aversion and objection TO
the impecuni0us detrimental. II the mis-.
chief is really done we advise her to make
the best Of things We are by no means
certain, even if we put ourselves into
very hard and worldly attitude, that the
rough-and. ready method Of getting rid Of
an injudicious engagement by the simple
best. The principle Is that if girls can
not form long. engagements without
upsetting themselves in this sort Of way,
~ Iol 40 POooiOlC OuSut w VIC ACPs
from forming long engagements. The
bears this set of circumstances 30 i'll must
character The reJoinder Is, that young
them such uncivil adjectives, do, as .
rule, bear i'll the trial of long engage
ments. Perhaps they would also bear iii
the trials OF wifehood and motherhood,
especially in a chronic state Of impecuni-
osity. II may be allowed, also, that there
are some bright, elastic natures, on whom
q long engagement has positively invig-
Grating effect. The body of exceptions
which they furnish indicates the extreme
difficulty Of laying down any general law
on the subject.
If we might venture 70 frame gcner-
alization Of any sort, we should say that
the long engagement, which has
lady, has frequently settling ef-
keeps him simple, and steady, and earnest.
If the lover is worth having, the lover,
one would almost think, would be worth
waiting for. The mother Of course says
that the long engagement affords such q
hazard that 1t will be broken off, and her
daughter, after wasting her best years and
best feelings, may be Tilted. Perhaps,
however, tits an inaccurate use Of Ian
guage to say that what 10 earliest IL best.
! The argument merely cuts in q different
way also, that It may often save q girl
from an unworthy marriage. There is
certainly q constant possibility of break
off, when the betrOthal is not, az in Ger
many, a solemn ceremony of the highest
publicity.
There are certain people to whom an
engagement Of marriage would be alto
gether forbidden If some sanction were
not given TO the long engagement. The
curate in the church, the lieutenant In
the army, the clerk In the bank, such ami.
able, domestic, well.educated, well-man.
nered young people would make such
element Of filthy lucre existed in sufficient
force. Strange that the mineral sub
stances of gold and silver should make
such difference to immortal souls But
they, too, are Gods creatures as we'll as
those who can afford to keep gig. They
may say that they fall in love and become
engaged, not because they keep q banking
account, but on the simple ultimate
ground that they are human beings. We
think that It would be difficult to resist
this plea as q matter of legitimate argu-
ment. But man cannot be both hare
and barrier. He cannot take broad hu-
man ground in one direction and narrow
conventional ground in another direction.
He should not make an engagement In
definitely long on the plea that he Is the
creature Of civilization. If he makes the
kind Of engagement which is long, he
should resolve that 1t shall not be pro-
longed beyond certain date.
Although the ladies, with their graceful
| impetuosity, say that six months Is quit
long enough, yet we think that the RI
man law was probably quite fair in ped
hitting term Of two years After thd
let the pair, II the pair have made up tho L
minds that, for them, marriage is the 4
preme earthly good, get married iu
any risk Let them emigrate, keeun'
school, live in an attic, work WI
their hands, 60 without sugar al -
butter, let the lady make the bed al
lay the tablecloth, and the gentleman
swer the bell and black his own boo =
Having made their log.house In the baa
woods Of social life In their youth, til l.,
will probably shake down into some gtK,
thing before they have finished. But
they are people who fear Mrs. Grun,
and who are nothing If they are not g
teel, they are hardly entitled to tie dang
GUS luxury Of long engagement.
The chief terrors that for the pare 4
birds surround along engagement ari q
from the wretchedly mistaken views b
marriage that prevail among the major ,
of women. Any one, We think, who I
tempts to take wide and impartial VII
of life would find 1t extremely difficultA
give clear, unwavering note in fay
either of marriage or celibacy. VIII
the chances are 80 evenly balanced,
cannot imagine why there should be sY \
morbid anxiety on either side. We ofd{
think that . woman Of liberal, refinS
tastes, fond of life, of society, of intelle
usl pursuits, makes disastrous excha1S
when she surrounds herself with muI
tudinous cares of life. Even II we II
the extreme case of those who must y
something for their own hvelihd
II they do not marry, there D
>A11l A&~nownoak 1~ ~~,,s@