The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1870-06-10
Wlistellaneuus.
Josh Billings Papers-Remarks.

say, then iz good time tew keep still;
there liz but few people who have miss
ed good opportunity tew ventilate
their opinyuns.
Just about az cerimonys creep into
one end ov church, piety creeps out
ov the other.
Those who have the fewest failings
see the fewest in others.
Pride is az universal as hair on the
head sum are proud of their virtews,
and sum of their vices, and sum, hav-
ing neither themselves, brag on other
peoples.
Love looks through telescope; envy
through microscope.
An industrious man is seldom bad
man.
Men will believe theirpashuns quick
er than they will their consciences, and
yet tn cir pashu ms are generally wrong,
and their consciences alwus right.
1t amt much trouble tew bear the
pain of sum body else's lame back, but
tew hav the lame back oneself amt so
stylish.
De espising fortune is not a sure way to
gain her favors-pipe to her, and she
may dance to you.
Take all the interest out of this world,
and there wouldn't be friendship
enough left for seed.
Sekrets are burden, and that is one
reason why we are anxious to have
som ebody help us carry them.
/ have seen men so full of vanity
that they could not endure the sight ov
a peacock with his tail on parade.
The most excrutiating bore know is
excessive politeness.
If l was called to describe Eloquence
! sh ould do it az 1 woulda suit ofclothes
--''OU Saitadle teGtars and apesJectM."
Gravity IL no more an evidence ov
wisdom than it is ov i'll natur.
The greater the man the less hiz vir
tews appear and the larger hiz faults.
Don't mistake vivacity for wit; there
is Just as much difference az there liz be-
tween lightning and lightning bug.
No man ever undertook few alter hi2
natur by substituting sum invenshun oy
hiz own but what he made botch .jot
ov it.
Religion in these days is composed ov
vanity and piety, and each man and
woman IL better judge of the proper
tion that l am.
Lovers feed upon mysteries, but after
tha are married and the pork and beans
are brought on they have fair chance
tew test the real qualitys ov their appe-
tights.
/ An insult tew one man is an insult
tew all, for it may be our turn next.
| don't know ov emmy thing that
would use the whole ov us up more
thoroughly, than tew hev all our wish
es gratified.
There Is . kinds ov obstinacy, obsti
macy in the right, and obstinacy in tn,
wrong; one is the strength of grea
mind, and the other is the strength O
a little one.
! Laziness IL like molasses, sweet ant
sticky.
think bear in his claws is prefera
BILE tew one with gloves on.
l kant tell now winch / admire leas
an ole coquet or a young prude.
| Misanthropy don't pay-there aim
no man living whose hate the worlC
cares cuss for.
Rash men can be korrekted, but /
don't pay to labor with phool.
The man who has never enjoyed tn
pieazure of being forgiven haz Mise,
one of the greatest luxurys ov life.
have seen coquetry that had n.
more malice in it tnan eve lamb OF
the green.
| When l cum across Il man who utter
his opinyuns with immense delibera
shun, and after they are uttered they
don't amount to anything, write hin
down mysterious pnool."
The great cry ov the world now daz
is, "What's trumps."
! Love Is a weak ness but ii liz tine SAM