The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-03-25

residing Tor iawYers-suet.
Cosrt. plast.rs-swsrd for damages
. Flat falsehood-lying on your back.
A blacksmith 10 horse shoemaker
A good motto for poultry-cggs-
cclsior. - 3d. 80
The. c.dst-ship sales have been
suddenly furled.
A nose By any other man would
smell as we'll.
Trade IL improving-amopg those
who advertise.
A gambler like . carpenter is
known by bis chips.
Gardens unlike widows. do not look
best il weeds. I'll ~
A poor man should always be
avoidsd-bs lacks principal.
Adversely always brings q man
out-at the knees and elbows.
The currency has just now . de-
cidedly specie.ous appearance.
Thieves lead comfortable lives be-
cause they always take things easy.
It. ia better to give your son a
trade than to bequeath him fortune
Best discovered method Of starva-
tion-"genteel" boarding houses.
1t takes some dry. goods dealers a
very long time to ''sell out at cost. y
Some people are so lazy that they
wiNnot even labor under an i'm
preston.
The locomotive takes nothing but
water when it wants to "wet its
whistle
fla husband deserts his wife which
is the most abandoned. the man or
the woman?
In cards good deal depends on
good playing, and good playing On a
good deal.
II gentleman treads on a lady
long dress, she should Immediately
teg his pardon.
It is easy to break into an old
mans house, because his gait is feeb-
lie and his locks are few.
Every public-spirited young lady
is Wiling to have her fathers house
used as courthouse.
"Will you take lunch ~ is now
rendered. Twill you put yourself
outside Of some nourishment p
The spring style of bonnets is de-
scrlhed az " something like a sun
flower on the peak of hay stack"
There was nothing improper in the
Prince Of Wales letters to Lady
Mordaunt, except tho grammar.
The active pickpscket ebeys the
soriptural injunction, by pursuing
diligently what his hands find to do.
The Japanese now coming into
California are said to have heathen-
ish habit of minding their own
business.
Because tho negro has wool on his
head, is not good reason why the
Radicals should pull it over his eyes
A newly-married man compared
his wife to perfect rose, but thinks
that she elbows out" = little too
often.
When Adam and Eve ate Of the
tree Of Knowledge, is it probable
that they stadisd the higher branch
es7
What folly it il to be always talk
ing Of our "frs. parents" as if it
wee possible for Us to have second
scs. .1
~ 5ou cant coax = fish to bite, try
your persuasive powers on q cross
dog. and you will he sure to sue
coed.
Signs are said to be greater re-
lief to those Who use them, The re-
lief We presume is in proportion to
the size. 81
Keep out--out Of debt, ont of
quarrcls, ont Of mischief. out Of the
draft, out Of thin-soled shoes, and
out Of damp clothes.
The difference between q turnkey
and jeweler. is that while the form
or watches the cells tho latter sells
the watches.
AWestcrn critic said u an East.
ern lecturer. that his words we're las
faE.apart as the stations on the pacif-
ia Railway
Those who climb the Alps do SO
int for the pleasure Of e1slai III ing
when they resch the sumit. "How's
t!ixfar high !?
Appended to msrrage notice
lately NO found mo cards. no
co1psny. nohody's business" -
Thsrs,s independents for you.
We have discovered lately that
health Is NEST anquettionably a fluid.
Africnd drinks ours very often and
notaty his own expense either
kn exchange says that . man now
aydsys might ~ we'll try to shampoon
saaslephaat's head with . thin bloful