The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-01-06
The LawYers and the Cats,

Two Arkansas lawyers were domesticat-
ed in the rude hotel of country town.
The hotel was crowded, and the room al
lotted to our two heroes was also occupied
by six or eight others. Shake-down beds,
enough to accommodate the guests, were
disposed about the room, against the four
walls, leaving an open space in the centre
of the apartment. rt
Judge Clark lay with his head to the
north, on one side, and Judge Thomas lay
with his head to the south, on the other
side of the room. So far as the room was
concerned, it might be said that their
heads represented the north and south
poles, respectively.
All the other beds in the room we're oc-
cupied. The central part of the room was
deemed neutral ground, in which the oc-
cupants of the different beds had equal
rights. Here, in picturesque confusion,
lay the boots, hats, coats and breeches Of
the sleepers. There were no windows, and
though the door was open, there being no
moon, the night was very dark in that
room.
The willy lawyers, who had been oppo-
sing counsel in case tried in the town
court that day, and had opposed each 9TH
er with the contumaeity of wild pigs, were
now the very incarnation of meekness, for
when the hungry swarm of mosquitoes
settled down and bit them on the one
cheek, they slowly turned the other to be
bitten also.
"But hush harkp'
A deep sound strikes the ear like ris-
ing knell @
"Ye-ow-ow! -
Judge Clark and Thomas we're wide
awake, and sitting bolt upright in an in
slant.
Again the startling cry
"Ye-ow, ye-ow~
"There's a d---d cat p whispered
Clark.
"Scat, youp' hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these demon
strations, but gave vent to another yowl.
go, Lord p cried Clark, 81 can't stand
this I! Where is she, Thomasf'
"On your side Of the room somewhere"
replied Thomas.
"No, she's on your side," said Clark.
"Ye-ow-ow-ow!" fet
"There, | told you she was on your
side," they both exclaimed in breath.
And still the "yowl" went on.
The idea now entered the heads of both
the lawyers, that by the exercise of cer-
tain strategy they might be enabled to ex-
eeute certain flank movement on the cat,
and totally demoralze him. Practically
each determined to file ga motion to
quaSh" the cats attachment for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself, and in
dark, unable to see each otheB prepared
for action. p @
Strange as it may appear it is neverthe-
less true, that the same plan suggested
itself to both. In words, the plan would
be about as follows: Ass
The yowler is evidently looking and
calling for another cat, with whom he has
made an appointment. I will initiate
cat, and this cat will think t'other cats
around. This cat will come toward me,
and when he shall have arrived within
reach, ,gPll.blaze away with anything can
get hold Of, and knock the mow-sic out of
him. -iHya" y a-
So each Of the portly judges, nOiseless-
ly as cream comes to the surface of the
milk, hoisted himself onto his hands and
knees, and, hippopotamus fashion ad-
vanced to the neutral ground occupying
the central portion of the room.
Arrived there, Judge Clark selected
boot-jack, and Judge Thomas heavy
cow-hide boot, from the heap, and settled
themselves down to the work.
Clark tightened his grip on the boot
jack, throwing up his head, gave vent to
prolonged and unearthly "Ye-ow-ow p
that would reflected credit upon ten of the
largest kind of cats.
"Aha" thought Thomas, who was not
six feet away, She's Immediately close
around. Now I'll inveigle him and he
gave The regular dark night call of FEM
mime cat
Each of the Judges now advanced lit
tie closer, and Clark produced question
ing COW! owl"
Thomas answered by reassuring "Pur-
ow pur" and they advanced little
more.
They we're now within easy reach, and
each imagining the cat had but a moment
more to live, whaled away, the one with
his boot, the other with his boot-jack
The boot took Clark square in the
mouth, demolishing his teeth, and the
boot-jack came down on Thomas bald
head just as he was in the midst of tri-
umphant "Ye-ow !" d
When lights were brought the cat had
disappeared, but the catastrophe was in
opposite corners of the room, with heels
in the air, swearing blue streaks.
Working Cheap.
''What does Satan pay you for swear
Iuu 1,3 ocLa1 ono oop sc ,o,tl-o