The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-08-04
WIT AND .HUMUH.

The most steadiast followers OF
our fortunes: Our creditors.
"A lover is q suer; an heiress hunt
er purscsucr. Avery clever distinc'
ton.
Why is the letter like the snort of
q horse? Because il makes a noise
out Of nose.
--How can you get more than one
hundred cents for dollarp BY in
vesting it in a bottle of perfume.
Mankind should lcarn, temperance
from the moon; the fuller she gets, the
shorter her horns become.
Julius, SAID one Niger to anoth.
er, am you better dis mornin'T NO.
Wus better yeslay, but Use got ober
dat
Mrs. Darlington says that because
dancing girls are stars, it is no reason
why they should be resardedsas heav'
emily bodies.
"A cynical Frcnchman once said
there are two parties to love affair
the party who loves and the party who
consents to be so treated.
"A voice comes from Washington
Territory, saying: Send us wives"
And a thousand unhappy Benedicts re.
sponl, "Take ours"
MI. S., is your customer D.
man to be trustedY Il know of no
one more so. He is to be trusted for
ever; he never pays
Why are the armies ofsFrance.and
Prussia like. deas on hog ~, Because
they make it lively on the Rhine. Fiji.
teen minutes for re.'reshments.)
--Rusticus, in commenting on. the
present style Of female coitlurc,, says
1T must be very poor soil that re-
Qulres SO much top dressing.
Trouble you for more bread, land
lord. always eat good deal Of bread
with my meat so ! see, Sir And
good deal of meat with your bread
So said ayoung lady to her part.
ner in dance, you would not take mo
t. be twenty! Well, what would you
take me ior?' For better or for
worse
"A quaker said to young man just
married: "Friend, thou art now at the
end of all thy troubles, The bride
turned out q vixen, and in q week tho
young man came back with the up
braiding remark: II thought you told
me was ct the end of my troubles ?
$50 did, friend, but didu't say which
end
"A student st college was arraigned
before the faculty upon the charge Of
having @ barrel of lagcrbeer in his
room in plain violation of the rules.
when lie was asked if he had expert
enced any benefit from the use OF it.
We'll, don't know said he. i could
not lit the barrel when l put it in there
but now / can carry it all around the
room
i -ExTEACr FROM A LETTER. -Bridg-
ct, darling, come across to Ameriky to
me, then; IT'S mesef is doing a nate
business here with son of Father Ma
lone's-sure It's with his brother
name. He keeps whisky store here,
and l does the watcn. He towld me
the other morning that he had no mon
! ey, and towld him would take part
} of Che shtock every Saturday as wages.
$ But says he, Sure, Pat, if l pay you
f that way, will soon have no shlock at
D all lett, and you will have it ALL Says
e l to him, says l, Sure, you can work
for me, then, and earnt back again /;
and we can keep it up, and be masthers
. month in ard month out, and wages
u will come aisy to both of u.s.
, "A sea captain tells the following
4 anecdote about shipmate who accom-
panied him on one of his eally whaling
voyages:
Stiles was simple hearted, transpa.
T rent young fellow, and when they sailed
j.. had been paying attention for some
: time to young lady, who, he had rea.
i son to think, did not fully reciprocate
his ardent feelings. At all events, the
q parting on her part vas not SO affec-
J Tomato as he could wish, and he was
impressed with the belief that she only
kept him as q standby, in default Of q
> better offer,
: Il don't believe Stiles would say,
= with a respondent shake of the head,
/ Il don't believe Ann Jones II have me,
/, anyhow
II When they had been out month OF
} two aud had met with fair success,
. Stiles tone was modified. The burden
of bis monologue changed to-
We'll, don'no but what Ann
Jones III have me, after ALL
With thousand barrels Of oil undel