The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-06-15
THE ART OF RETICENCE.
lon Saturday Reuieio.

Among other classihcations we may divide
the world into those who live by impulse and
the undirected flow of circumstance, and
those who map out their lives according to
art and definite design. These last, how
ever, are wonderfully rare, few people having
capacity enough to construct any persistent
plan of life or to carry it throughif even
they have begun one-it being so much easier
to follow nature and drift with the stream
than to work by rule and square, and build
up even beavers dam. Now, in the matter
of reticence, how few people understand this
as an art and how almost entirely it is by the
mere chance of temperament whether a per-
son is confidential or reticent, with his heart
on his sleeve or not to be got at
by pickaxe, irritatingly silent or
contemptibly loquacous. Sometimes
indeed we do find one who, like Taleyrand,
has mastered the art of an eloquent reticence
from alpha to omega, and knows how to con-
ceal everything without showing that he con-
ceals anything; but we find such person
very seldom, and we do not always under
stand his value when we have him. Anyone
not a born fool can resolve to keep silence on
certain points, but it takes master mind to
be able TO talk and yet not tell Silence, in
deed, self-evident and unmasked, though a
safe method, is but clumsy one, and to be
tolerated only in very timid or very young
people. 'Le silence est le parti plus sur
pour celui qui Sc defe de so-meme, says
Rochefoucauld; yet we do not preach
total abstinence as the best order
of life for wise and disciplined
person, any more than we would
put strong ankles into leg-irous, or forbid
rational man to handle q sword Besides,
silence may be as expressive, as tell-tale even,
as speech, and at the best there is no art in
shutting ones lips and sitting mute; though
indeed too few people have got even SO far
as this in the art of reticence, but tell every
thing they know as surely as water flows
through sieve, and are safe just in proper
tion to their ignorance. But there is art, the
most consummate art, in appearing absolutely
frank, yet never telling anything which it is
not wished should be known, in being plea
sanity chatty and conversational, yet never
committing oneself to a statement or an
opinion which might be used against one
afterwards-dTS celdre dTtene in keeping
ones own counsel as we'll as in other things.
1t is only after a long acquaintance
with this kind of person that you find out he
has been substantially reticent throughout,
though apparently so frank. Caught by his
easy manner, his genial talk, his ready SYM
pathy, you have confded to him not only all
you have of your own, but all you have of
other peoples; and it is only long after when
you reflect quietly Undisturbed by the magne-
tism of his presence, that you come to the
knowledge of how reticent he has been in the
midst of this seeming frankness, and how
little reciprocity there has been in your con-
fdences together. You know such people for
years, and you never know really more of
them at the end than you did in the be-
ginning. You cannot lay your finger on a
fact that would in any way place them
in your power; and though you
did not notice it at the time, and don't
know how it has been done now, you feel
that they have never trusted you, and have all
along carefully avoided anything like conf
dence But you are at their mercy by your
own rashness, and if they do not destroy you
it is because they are rzticent for you as well
as towards you; perhaps because they are
good-natured, perhaps because they despise
you for your very frankness too much
to hurt you; but above all things not
because they are unable. How you hate them
when you think of the skill with which they
took all that was offered to them, yet never
let you see they gave back nothing for their
own part-rather by the jugglery of man.
ner made you believe that they were
giving back as much as they were
receiving Perhaps it was little ungene-
rous; but they had the right to argue that if
you could not keep your own counsel you
would not be likely to keep theirs, and it was
only kind at the time to let you hoodwink
yourself SO that you might not be offended.
In manner genial, frank, conversational, SYM
pathetic-in substance absolutely secret, eau
tious, never taken off their guard, never
seduced into dangerous condolences, as care
full for their friends as they are for them
selves, and carful even for strangers unknown
to them-these people are the salvation as
they are the charm OF society never making
mischief, and, by their habitual reticence,
raising up barriers at which gossip halts and
rumor dies. No slander is ever traced to
them, and what they know is as though it
were not. Yet they do not make the clumsy
mistake of letting you see that they are better
informed then yourself on certain subjects,
and know more about the current scandals of
the day than they choose to reveal; on the
contrary, they listen to your crude mistakes
with highly edited air, and leave you elated
with the idea that you have let them behind
the scenes, and told them more than they
knew before. If they had only spoken, your
elation would not have been very long-lived
OF all personal qualities this art of reticence
is the most important and valuable for pro-
fessional man to possess Lawyer or physi-
clan, he must be able to hold all and hear all
without betraying by word or look, by inju-
dicious defense any more than by overt
treachery, by anger at a malicious accusation
any more than by smile at an egregious
mistake his business is to be reticent not
exculpatory, to maintain silence, not set up
defense nor yet proclaim the truth
To do this well requires rare com
bination of good qualities, among
which are tact and elf-respect in about equal
amount, self-command, and the power of
hitting that fine line which marks off reti-
cence from deception. No man was ever
thoroughly successful as either lawyer or
physician who did not possess this combina-
tion; and with it even a modest amount of
faah hnIn nor Aax l. -