The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1870-10-20
MARK TWAIN.
His Map Oftle FOrtiGcatIOns OF
Paris.

Mark Twain's map Of the fertilization
Of Paris is published in the Galaxy thi
month, with the following explanatory In
PRODUCTIONS
published my "Map of the Fertilization
Of Paris" in my own paper fortnigh
ago, but am obliged to reproduce it in tn
! Galaxy, to satisfy the extraordinary de
mand for 1t which has arisen in militar7
circles throughout the country. Genera
Grants outspoken condemmned original
ed this demand, and General Sherman'
fervent endorsement added fuel to it. Tn
RESULTS that tons OF these maps have-bee1
fed to the suffering soldiers of our land
but without avail. They hunger STILL
We viii cast the Galaxy into the breach
and stand and await the effect.
The next Atlantic mail will doubtless
bring news of European frenzy for tn,
map. 1t is reasonable to expect that tn,
siege Of Paris will be suspended till Ger
man translation of it can be forwarded ii
is now in preparation, and that the de
fense of Paris will likewise be suspended
10 await the reception of the French trans
lation (now progressing under my hands
and likely to be unique). King Williams
high praise Of the map and Napoleon's
frank enthusiasm concerning its execution
will ensure its prompt adoption in Europe
as the only authoritative and legitimate ex-
position of the present military situation.
It is plain that if the Prussians cannot get
into Paris with the facilities afforded by
this production of mine they ought to de-
liver the enterprise into abler hands.
Strangers to me keep insisting that this
map does not "explain ITSELF" One person
came to me with bloodshot eyes and a
barassed look about him, and shook the
map in my face and said he believed /
was some new kind of idiot. have been
abused a good deal by other quick-tem-
pered people like him, who came with
similar complaints. Now, therefore, I
yield willingly, and for the information of
the ignorant will briefly explain the pres
ent military position as illustrated by the
map. Part of the Prussian forces, under
Prince Frederick William, are now board
ing at the farmhouse" in the margin of
the map. There is nothing between them
and Nincennes but rail fence in bad re-
pair. Any corporal can see it at a glance
that they have only to burn it, pull it
down, crawl under, climb over or walk
around it, just as the commander-in-chief
shall elect. Another portion of the Prus-
sian forces are at Podunk, under Won
Moltke. They have nothing to do but to
to float down the Seine on a raft and scale
the walls of Paris. Let the worshipers
of that over-rated soldier believe in him
still, and abide the result; for me, 1 do not
believe ne will ever think of a raft. At
OiHaha and the High Bridge are vast
masses of Prussian infantry, and it is not
only fair to say that they are likely to
stay there, as that figure of a window
sash between them stands for a brewery.
Away up out of sight over the top of the
map is the feet of the Prussian navy,
ready at any moment to come cavorting
down the Erie Canal (unless some new in
quity of an unprincipled Legislature'shan
put up the tolls, and so render it cheaper
TO walk). To me it looks as if Paris is a
,ingularly close place. She was never
situated before as she is in this map.
MARK TWAIN.