The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-10-18

AA0 hoIAoW SNnsSs foAHu a0ouL luen
A harvest Of contentment at their close.
MADAM" said a cross.tempered
physician to a patient, if woman
were admitted to Paradise, their
tongues would make it . purgatory."
And some physicians, if allowed to
practice there" replied the lady,
would soon make it desert"
A FELLOW who occupied berth d.
rectly over q lawyer, began to grow
restless. The lawyer, noticing that
his restlessness increased, asked, Il
say, are you a fool?" " No sir, | am
above fool"
A BRIDGET" who, as usual, enter
tains an exalted opinion Of the good
things of the old country, was asked
by her mistress If they had any pies
where she formerly lived in Ireland.
Yes, an sure they do" What
kind of pies? Magpies, num-
& Gypsy woman promised to show
two young ladies their husbands
faces 10 a pail of water. They looked,
and exclaimed. why We only sec
our faeesl" Welt said the gypsy.
those faces will be your husbands
when you are married. "
Don't you think Mr.. Prosy a
speaker Of great poWer?' asked a gen.
tlemen, In reference to pompous
long winded lecturer, who spoke in a
high Keyed drawliDg voice. Ives,
high-drawlic power, was the reply oil
the person addressed.
The following is copied from the
tombstone OF q man named Berry:
Hark Howl Who's buried here?
No, 1t is the EGdcY-Berry.
i An Elder Berry buried surely must
Rather spring up and live than turn TO
So may ouz Btry, whom stern death has
slain,
CANT you manage to give my son
one of the prizes at the exhibition"
asked mother of a teacher. "No
madam" was the reply; your son
will stand no chance; he obstinatelv
persists in idleness," "Oh, but then, y
exclaimed the fond mamma, r'if that's
so, you can give him a prize for per.
severencel'
A BOY was sont By his mother tc
saw some stoveWood out Of railroad
ties. Going out of doors shortly af-
ter, she found the youth sitting on
the saw horse, with head down. The
mother asked her hopeful son why be
was cast down, and why he dIdn'
keep at his work. The boy replied
My dear mother, | find it very hard
very hard, to sever old ties"
A DOCTOR was very much annoye
by an old lady who always stoppe
him on the street to tell him of he
ailments. 0nce she met him whel
he was ia a great hurry. "Ah! ] Sc,
you're quite Feeble said the doctor
shut your eyes and show me you
tongue" She obeyed, and the doc
tor, moving of, left her standing j
this ridiculous position.
THE Grand Jury ignored bill
against a negro charged with stealing
Before the Judge discharged bin
from custody, he called up the accuse
and said to him, You can 60 nov
John; but let me warn you never t
appear here again John replied
with broad grin, Il wouldn't bee
here dis time, only the constabl
fetch me-" -
A WEE laddle was brought betol
one Of the Glasgow babies, who, aft
reading him lecture, asked, 'Whe
did you learn so much wickednessi
DO you ken the pump in GlassfoI
Street," No" replied the baili
"Weel, then, do ye ken the pump
Briggate?" Yes, sure, was the T
ply. "Weel, then, ye may gang the
and pump as long as ye like, for L
hanged il ye pump me.
AN Irishman made a sudden bC
into a druggists shop, took from
pocket a soda-water bottle filed wi
some pure liquor, and handing
across the counter, exclaimed: "Thel
doctor, snuff that, will your" Il
doctor did as he was directed, a.
pronounced the liquor to be genui
whisky. Thank you, doctor" "a
the Irishman. Hand it to me aga
If you please" The doctor again {
as directed, and asked what he mea
Och thin" said Pat, IF you v
have ii, the priest told me not to dri
any of this unless got it from
doctor. SO here's your health a
the prizes rs health"