The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-01-26


A louisiana planter progressed finely in
tanning young panther until the animal
got large enough to lunch off his owner, one
night, when hungry.
1t does ret cost much to advertise in GA.
Some ore gives notice that lie has lost three
paper Of Seidlitz powders and viii pay a
reward for them.
A cotempornry thinks that It almost re-
comedies one to dying to think that so gilt
edged gentleman as Coroner Taylor viii
hold an inquest over him.
a prodi gal son writes bis father from
Omaha: - have to have my only shirt
washed By the dozen, for il il in twelve
pieces, and the smallest hole ii it is The one
/ put my head through. "
a wicked editor says that at church,
some people clasp their hands so closely in
prayer that they are unable to get them
open when the contribution-box comes
around.
4 Joung lady Of Springfield, at d woman
suffrage meeting. remarked. '.Mr. Foster
said there wasn't woman in the hall who
hadn't as much right to be called man as
be had and ] think 50 too
An afflicted husband was returning from
the funeral Of his wife. whena friend asked
him low be was: ..Well," said he. pathe-
tically, II think / feel better for that lit
tie walk. =
A young man living in lafayette, Ind,
is humility personifed. The other day he
asked q young lady if he might ..be allow
ed the privilege of going home with her,"
and was Indignantly refused whereupon he
inquired very luinbly if be might be ..al-
lowed to sit on the fence and SEQ her 60 By"
Some one relates the story of man who
was too lazy 70 say bis prayers. lie wrote
out his deyotions on foolscap, however, and
tied them to the foot Of his couch. Be
fore retiring he would hold them up to hea-
ven and exelainl. them my sentiments, :"
and jump into bed.
a gentle quaker had two horses--a very
good and a very poor one. When seen r.
ding the latter, il turned ont that lis bet
ter halfIlad taken the good one. .Whatln
said snoering bachelor. how comes it
that you let your wife ride tic better horse Z
The only reply was, I" Friend, when thee
be married thee' Il know.
4 sermon vas once preached from text
which the preacher found III job, which
runs a. follows: Though after my skin
worms destroy this body. set IN my aes.l /
shall see God. This he divided into three
parts, as follows: "First, skin worms; se-
cond, what they done third, what the man
seen after be was eat n"
..IIow 40 sou like tie looks IL the var
mint r asked an Arkansaa d D0ancas-
ter. Who vas gazing, with diaendcd eyes,
ct a. alligator With oren Jaws hi lie banks
Of TIC Mississippi. .Waal, responded the
Yankee, a.he amt what yow'd ell ham
some critter, INT he's del II Dpenness
when Nc smiles. z
Occasional correspondent, meeting par
" 81 settlers the other day IN Texas, IN
quired from tie conductor wtiat iho men III
lie int wagon Ycfe intended ~. III
clear the forests. " ..Wcll, sid he. sand
what are those IN tic second forr' 10
bald the huts, was the reply. and the
old White-headcd man in the third wagon !;
what Is he forg, .eh. that l. my father
I've shall open orr new cemetery with
hita."
a western local, WHO has become tired IF
going It alOne," thus pathetieally appeals
fUr his principal % come home:
Or, Major, dear MajBf, come 70 u now,
the clock ii TIC hotel strikes one You said
yon we're coming right home from abroad,
d soon ~ your lectures were done times
are quite hard, and items are scarce, and
credits played out--d'ye see Oh, Major.
dear MAJOR, conc Ilome 10 " nos, your 10
cal Is waiting foF thee.
a darkey WIS observed n one Of the
streets &c Louisville, his teeth chattering
Ike reaper under fal Roadway. lie wss
eating watermelon D., ne eurbss1ne, and
rome ono told him that L would give him
the chills. lie looked 10. with bis mouth
half full and . slice in caeh hand, aud ahi-
scrcd out: srse got en- nov. aud tux en-
asin' desc tiaga bar ant no danger Oh
maxim me shake Wusn duz. lI0wsnnle-
- fsff - .fsgsf "a siss fl.K,. ma. a.. IL.