Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-11-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

YOUTHS CoMPANIoN-A pretty girl.
"A POUND OF FLESH "A prize fight.
CONNECTICUT granted 491 divorces last
year.
A MISS is better than a mile-of misters.
Is it fair to define baby-clothes as 'bawl"
dressess
VERMONT has a man with beard seven
feet long.
SANDUsKY has found child which was
lost for seven years.
THE sort of fruit most sought after by
editors-The latest dates.
WHY is the letter like prodigal son
Because it makes pa pay!
IT is mistake to suppose the sun is sup
ported in the skies by its beams.
WHY is the sun like good loafr Be
cause it is light when it rises.
THE modern (K)night Errand0)-A
husband sent for the doctor.-Judy.
OMAHA boasts of a watch and chain con-
tanning over 81 900 worth of gold.
VERY AFFEcTrNG-A volume of smoke
1t will always bring tears to your eyes.
HOWEVER much pawnbrokers shop
may be crowded, ii is always loan-sum
place.
A LITTLE girl asked her brother what
was capital punishment, and he said he
thought that it was being locked up in the
cupboard with the jam and other nice
Thugs.
A FOR, just returned from continental
tour, was asked how he liked the ruins of
Pompeii "Not very well, was the reply /;
they are so dreadfully out of repair"
GRACE" am going to see Clara to-day
Have you any message?" Charlotte"
wonder how you can visit that dreadful
girl. Give her my love-
ONE Of the miseries of life is to be
beaten in an argument, and Immediately
afterward to think Of some expression
which would have totally annihilated your
opponent =.
A QUARREL between two brothers in
Indiana over the ownership of a barrel Of
salt, which commenced a couple of years
ago, has just been settled, at cost to one
of them of. 1852.
A POOR man, who, less than one year
ago, had only one suit of clothes, went in
to the newspaper business and now has
eight suits. Seven of them are for libel.
THE Traveller says that the three months
from the middle of June to the middle of
September were warmer at Boston this
year than in any other during the past 46
years.
Nor EAsILY.-A lady declared to us the
other day that she wouldn't be cook for
the whole world" For the whole world,
indeed! We should say not. Why, she
could never get through the work.
A PHYSICIAN being asked by patient if
he thought little spirits now and then
would hurt him much, replied, 81 do not
know that little occasionally would hurt
you much; but If you don't take any it
won't hurt you at all"
Or the twelve surviving widows of Rev
dictionary soldiers who are 100 years of
age and over, three live in Maine, their
names, residences and ages being as fol-
lows ANNA Plance, Of Portland, 100;
Happy Mouse, of Portland, 100; and Han
nah Andrew, of Lowell, 101.
A CHICAGO boy being asked if he had
mother, said he didn't know, as he hadn't
been home since morning, and when he
left his father and mother were quarrel
ing, with odds in favor of his father, as
he had the Ratchet in his hand.
THE GREATEST JoINER-The lawyer
He can place a tenant, empannel jury,
box witnesa, bore the court, chisel eli
ent, augur the gains, floor witness, cut
his board, nail the case; hammer the desk,
file his bill. and shave whole community.
A CERTAIN furnishing undertaken for a
time listened to the remarks of a CONNER
cial agent tor celebrated manufacturer of
glue finally, he replied: at is Of no con-
sequence in my business whether your glue
adheres or not; my customers never come
back"
NUMEROUS instances are on record Of
monarchs who have been taken prisoners
on the field of battle. We subioin a few Of
the best known instances:
Nome. Battle. Date.
Stephen OF England, Lincoln, l1Al
David H. y ssesland, 1syi!s cross, OK =. iisss
John q Frsncs. Ie6etlefps eept. ~ ~
$3.50 1861 ! m, sssss. ~ !. isse
GnoHa1 B. CAn1, nnder sentence Of
dAeth for murder IN H. On0ndaga county,
Nav York, jail, wzites 70 his brother N
sSisctine lettef. 81 which he says: Be
sood . my mother, and sister and httle
krother. ands 10 oood 70 al; and / don't
-..s4 viu - NAY cnyda 10 not NAV If