davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
The Policeman.

Why is the policeman obnoxious TO so
many people He is essential TO the pres
ervation of law and order and makes HIM
self useful and scrvicahle in accidents and
emergencies where few other men could be
relied ON. Yet take the policemen as %
class and they are not popular lavorites
They are often made the butt of newspa-
par jokes and any dopreClatiug allueion TO
of derisive laughter. "Of course there
was no policeman to be found, " often con-
cludes an account of n row or disturbance
and coiRciding reader echoes, 4" of course. y
The following has been Il standard joke
with the Ministries for years.
End Man" Mighty orderly house to-
night, Mister Johnsing?'
Middle Man" Very orderly, SAM
End Man" always knows when there
amt not no disturbances in the house"
Middle Man" How do you know,
Sam?'
End Man" See that policeman stand
ing by the doo'.n
Middle Man" Yes, sam, and very nice
looking policeman lac is, too"
End Man" know there aiu't mo- row
when / see him around
Middle Man" How so, ~am2''
End Man" kasc We see 10 thar was
any row the policeman wuuldu't Doe thar.
And then The people laugh and applaud
their recognition of tho poiu, made. We
may say for the policeman at tine doo'
That De generally enjoys the Joke ON hi-
ancient and honorable profession about as
well a- amy of the yc-t and laughs a- heart,
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Railroads.

Kansas City, at Il late election, gave u
large majority of votes in ig> or of the city
subscribing stock to the amount OF S450, GOO
to the Louisiana and Memphis Railroad.
At the close of the war she had no railroad.
Now she boasts of eight finished, with two
more being rapidly pushed forward to
completion. No city in the UUited tates
is better advertised and none more pros
porous and this is mainly, ii not altogeth-
er, due to railroad enterprise
Knoxville and East Tennessee, compared
with Kansas City and surrounding cOun-
try, afford equal, if not better, facilities for
growth and Improvement, and could COM
mand az much interest, but for the want
of encouragement from our men OF intlu-
ence and power. Though popular opinion
invokes, and general interest invites, the
future admOnishes and the present COM
mands, still we fail to either catch the
spirit of entelp Use or emulate her worthy
and VirtuOuS example.
The inspiring epidemic OF the progress
i've age in which we move-railrOads-cal
and must ere long burst through the ever
lasting enVirons of our natural resources,
and connect us more intimately with trade
and commerce. which conspire most of all
to develop countries and build up cities.
Let us open our eyes and investigate, and
soon will darkness, doubt and hesitation
disappear, and the spell-bound lethargy
that now throttles our mechanical and
agricultural growth will be changed into
new life and fresh activity. We need the
Knoxville and Kentucky Railroad finish
ed, it is true, but we need others-one di-
rect to Macon, Georgia, another direct to
Nashville, and another to st. Louis, one
to North Carolina and one up Powell's
Valley, through Western Virginia, to the
Ohio river.
Now that the election is over, may our
quill drivers spread their ink for some
thing more useful and important and let
our morning papers come laden with pro
misses and blessings, encouragement and
reciprocal sentiments. CITIZEN.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Advice 10 Girls.

Do not estimate the worth of young
man by his ability 10 talk soft nonsense,
nor by the length Of his moustache.
DO not imagine that an extra ribbon,
ted-about the neck, can remedy the defect
of IA soiled collar or an untdy dress.
If your hands are Drowned by labor, do
not envy the lily fingers OF Miss Fussand-
feathers, whose mother drudges in the
kitchen, while the daughterloungCs i'm the
parlor.
If dandy, with cigar between his fin
gers, asks you if smoking is offensive to
you, tell him omphaIicaly, Yes" The
habit should be, even though the odor may
not.
DO not judge of the intelligence of fe-
male acquaintance 10y the number of yards
of trimming on her press.
Do not waste your tears on the imagina-
nv sufIerngs Of "AlOnzO and Melissa" nor
the trials OF the dime novel heroiuCs Seek
rather to alleviate the woes of the suffering
ones on earth
Study your books rather than read fic-
ton.
Endeavor to be at the head of your class
rather than superb dancer.
Mind the good instructions of father and
mother rather than hear to the wishes of
your rattle Drained school companions.
Learn the use of darning cotton as well
as of zephyr worstcd and the tatting shut
tie,
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

A writer i'm the Maine Fuumc, recon-
mcnds that farmers should not keep too
many COWS, and cites well attc-tcd in
stance in which two cows, by having the
same amount Of food given them as had
been previously given to four, had yielded
considerably more butter, cheese, etc,
than had been before obtained from double
the number; that is, that the two upon
extra feed had produced more than fonr
We can believe this statement, and believe
with the writer, also, that farmers ghould
not keep more cows, or stock of any Kind,
than th;y eau keep well, both as to food
and shelter. 1t should be as much of the
business of the farmer to grow a full sup
ply of winter provender for his stock as it
is to furnish them with summer pasture,
and yet how many there are who never
dream of such thing as setting field
of clover or any of the artificial grasses, re-
lying altogether upon the precarious re-
sources of their corn lel to carry their
stock through the winter and early spriug
months. Nor do many Of them pay prop
er attention to saving the iprovendcr from
those quarters.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Hints TO Farmers.
BY THE "FAr CONTRIBUTORS"


Now that winter is approaching, il
would perhaps be as we'll to discontinue
haying and turn your attention to getting
in your fall saW-lOgs. No farmer can con-
slider his fall work complete until he has
his cellar well supplied with saw-logs.
Seated around the blazing hearth OF win
ter's night, there is no fruit more delicious.
4 correspondent asks us what we think
Of late blowing. Flowing should not be
continued later than ten or eleven o'clock
at night. 1t gets the horses in the habit
of staying out late, and unduly exposes
the pillow. We have known plows to uc-
quire string-halt and inflammatory rheu-
matism from late blowing. Don't do il.
To another correspondent who wants us
to suggest a good drain ON a farm, we
would say heavy mortgage at ten per
cent. will drain it about rs rapidly as any
thing we know Of
When you make cider, select nothing
but the sOundest turnip. chupping them
into sled length before grading them. In
boiling your cider use plenty of ice and
when boiling hang it up i'm the sun to dry.
4 pick AK should never be used i'm pick
ing apples It has q tendency TO break
down The vines and DAMAGE thp hive.
In sowing your winter app.e-iack, @
hOrsc-raEC will bc found preferable 10 q
stCp-laddyr Stcp-ladayI aTe liable 10
freeze up. and are hardly Iaia.ahle unless
DOlicl WITH sugar.
I'm cutting down hcmloct trees for cam
ming, select only the largest Don't THROW
away Che chips, as they luu.o line paruI
ornaments, cucased i'm rustic frames of -ail
and vinegar.
The coming cold weather should .uggcs,
TO the humane farmer the necessity tor a
good cow-shcd. The following Is receipt
for making a good cow--hed; Pour a
paillul of boiling hot water ON her back,
and if that don'tmalle a good cow-shed-
Now is the time for planting your win.
ter hay. Thes pinI-eyed Soulhdown j,
probably the best variety, as il dom need
polling and begins to lay early Cincinnati
Times.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
GreaSIng Wagons.

But few people are aware that they do
wagons and carriages more injury by greas-
ing too plentifully than any other way.
A wellmade wheel will endure common
wear from ten to twenty-five years if care
is taken to use the right kind and proper
amount of grease, but if this matter is not
attended to they will be used up in five or
six years Lard should never be used on a
wagon; for it Will penetrate the hub, and
work its way out around the lemons of the
spokes, and spoil the wheel. Tallow is the
best lubricator for wood aXlctrecs, and
castor oil for iron. Just grease enough
should be applied to the spindle of IA wagon
to give it a light coating. This is better
than more; for the surplus put on will
work out at the ends, and be forced by the
shoulder-bands and nut-washeIs into the
hub around the outside of the boxes.
To oil an aXletree, first wipe the spindle
clean with a cloth wet with spirits OF tur-
pentine, and then apply few drops of
castor oil near the shoulder and end. One
teaspoonful is sufficient for the whole.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Death is at the Door.

In all these complaints the system evidently shows a
want of red blood, and MIR. Churchill in bis work on
Diseases OF Females, says: Bearing in mind that the
blood is remarkably deficient in red corpusccs and the
known property Of iron to correct this condition. theory
suggests 1t as the most to be relied the best Of which
Is the Citrate. Citrate Of Iron enters largely into the
composition of English Female Bitcrs, combined with
poWcIlul vegetable tones OF rare qualities.
Among the mountains of Tennessee and the piney
woods OF Mississippi is found certain hard and hinty
root which has been in secret by some old mid
wives Tor many years possessing magic powers in rcgu
iatng and restoring all females suffering with any Rf
lection OF the womb. This root have Obtained gave
it fair test in practice, and it is now one OF the
principle Ingredients in these Btters. Other powerful
uterine and general tOnics also enter into its compos
ton. We also add Leptandra or Black root sufficient
to act upon the liver and keep the bowels open.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Common GrOgshOp Bitters

Empty bitter bottles Of various styles can be found
around almost every dwelling and cabin throughout
the land Their taste is pleasant and are advertised
Gn0'c they possess no medicinal properties whatever
They are so many disguscs Tor trceediE0iy common
berTag,s, which do not cannot possibly cure my
one.
Beware Of these pleasant biters in quart bottles;
they contain sting for your yitas and he who buys
them carries topcrs grog into his house. One man
who knows nothing about medicine saws his big bottles
Of common stuff will cure chis and fever, rheumatism
and consumption; another, whose bottle is very fancy
cures all impurities of the blood makes old men young
casts out doys restores sight TO the blind and err
Gus other miracles while yet another who Tresumes
every man drunkard proposes To collie, iHgiow-
ing nails, yellow fever heart disease and .oye-sck
maldensl We know they make no such curcs: We
kdQT the people at large deceived and sNinilled
and as We desire 10 yentilae these common humbuE.
make the following challenge to one and ALL
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Blooming Young Girls,

Mddleaged matrons, those at the critical period and
the aged grand all cured by use OF our
English Female Bitters, now prescribed and used by
physicians all over the country
If you are troubled with Falling Of the Womb. at
tended with of weight and bearing down pain
IN the back and side and other attendant evils Engh
Female Bttols will give entire relief,
Those ut the turn of life" mothers after uuninC-
mont and all others (mao or iemneJ who are GONZALES
cents from any protractcd or facilitating complaint
who gain strength slowly, and whose digestion slow
and imperfect, will find these Bitters the very thing
their system demands. 1t gives powerful a. poGte.
ads and assists digestion, the liver strCI athens
mentally and physically, and fills the whole system
with pure crimson blood coursinE through s channe!s
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Sickness, Pain and Death

Lcg.tim8ciy result as pcuacs for violations of natural
laws, from which none can escape.
The faded check the pale and wan features the dull
eye the cloudcd intellect the dcep hoayirF sigh. the
feeble and omoctcd frame the detected brow, the tot
teing gait al indicate previous transgrCsOn of law.
knowing That 'urocrasuation is the thicl of Time al
Intelligent beings apply for some remedy as cir
cumstancos pCrml while those who do not act upon the
principle that delays are dangerous generally ngcr
lose more time and pay moro iloHeu.
Thousands OF mothers and daughters iu all stations
and COndtiO OF life, suffering. lingering and dy-
ing from the effects Of some dreaded and dreadtul
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

WATERPROOF GoODS.-tor children's
everyday wear there is nothing prettier
or more serviceable than the English Wa
erproOf Some of this material is made
with stripes OF plaid OF gold, especially o.
dress goods. Two dresses of this VIII last
the most destructive enid AL winter o
school wear. A sack and hooded cape oi
the plain black waite proof. nned with
scarlet or blue $ f,,le may dictate, are as
cOmfDr able an pretty "a winter CLOAK a.,
any moth wo | de,ir.. The English
waite prolis m k up so very PRETTY
and dlraby in little b vs. suits,
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
DrOmgOOle & Co.'s BuChu.

The best and cheapest combination for all affections
OF the hldneys and Bladder offered 10 the public
II Is prepared by regular physicians and used by tho
profession. -
Price e. six bottles for $. Sold by druggists and
j. p. DRoMGooLE & CO
aug2-ly. Memphis, Tenn.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
One Hundred Dollars

That one tablespoonful Of ENGLISH FEMALE BIT
rERS contains az much medicinal properties Ons
bottle OF any of the pleasantly tasted common adyeF-
tsed bitters of the day The medical profession 10
decide the question BE it understood that the EnGlih
Female Btters is not a beverage, but is a pow erfd
Iron and Vegetable Tonic com ined curing long stand
ing chronic female complaints in every direction,
Put in large bottles at $3.50 per bottle or six bot
ties for $500 and sold by druggists and merchants eve
rywhere.
Memphis Tenn.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
Female Complaint,

That claims is victims jhouphout the length and
breadth OF our land.
Many females suAcr IN some way ut each monthly pc
rod; some girls are IN great peril at the commencement
u mensuuution, while older ones dread Us decline at
the turn Of life Sometimes the menstrual flow is too
much or Zoo little, or may be attended with pain; may
DC irregular or entirely checked, chunFCd III appear
ancG' attended with other distressing symptoms. Leu
corTho, ur tho Nv htcs.' frequently drains the sys-
ttn' or uicr'auou OIL. the womb may create pain and
cause rapid urJ.uutiOU.
Failing of the womb i- au exceedingly common COM
ualut giving much fruuh'u ard dstrl-s, which, under
ordinary treatment, Is difficult TO cure.
Mysteries, Green rIetnus, irritohiiy OF the Womb,
una olhtf s'.u. anna aI". complaints follow tho female
sex throughout li.e. Lives there medical gentleman
VINO ua- ur cam relieve uc lIr OF the above trou-
pies. Not many. j. there uo combination of RENE
qla agents THAT Will come tl her rescue? We answer,
Yes.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
An Excellent M dunn.

The Knoxville CHRONICLE has q large eircu-
lation in East Tenness e and the best adver
Using medium in this ortion of the State
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

y VILLAINoUs TRICK.-A good joke is
told on member OF one of the volunteer
companies which went down to Pensacola.
We think it was Il Mississippi company,
and it is said to be fact Being accus-
toned TO fresh water, living in the interior,
and not having been Oh the Gulf of Mex
ica before, he was in blissful ignorance of
Its briny properties. Getting up in the
morning, as usual, to perform his daily alb
lutions, he drew n bucket of wa,er, set it
down near some of his comrades, and re-
tired for soap and towel. Returning with
the articles, he soused into the bucket of
water; hands and face. The consequence
may be imagined. Recovering from the
shock, and rubbing his burning cyeballs,
he exclaimed: " can whip the rascal that
sailed this water. A man can't draw a
bucket of water and leave it IA few mo-
ments without some prank is played ubon
him" Dashing the water aside, he left
amid the shouts and jeers of his compan-
ions, who had been silently watching
HIM.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
English Female Bitters,

The only acknowledged Utoruc Tonic and Female Reg
ualur known Will cure all those complaints above
mentioned in an incredibly short time. The Bittors at
once Nouses stcngthgus aut restores tho womb to its
natural condition, removing distractions. relieving
pain, amt rcgulNtug .le monthly period. Wonder
o. womauhood; she B, the pride of all, but bark she
silently steals pickle, eats chalk, slate pencil;
appetite for food; she turns with duh eye and seeks
solitude; her no longer sparkles, her merry laugh
IT, no longer heard ringing through the air; she nope
about with bluodlcss lips and gums with headache.
napat9n, constipation, swimming Of the head, cold
feet and hands melancholy; she has coated tongue,
offensive BREATH and host OF other evils numerous
to mention.
When neglected all these symptoms become nEgrRva-
ties under the eyes the legs and ankles swollen the
har loses It's gloss aud falls OIL there is brittcuCss and
splitting of the finger nails swollen abdomen extreme
ncrFousut-s uCtulncss pains and aches, dry cough,
hlaerca fits, rapid prustatUn, epilepsy and death
II You, amy OF your friends are thus afflicted send
at once for Bottle of English Female lttcrs and be
cured. Its effects magical in such complaints.
Surely no mother will postpone and delay this duty
until
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

Colonel Bastion abhorred anything like
sOied or shabby clothes II ever he felt
pleased, it was to see his men unimpeacha-
bly, clean and sOldier-like. One fine sum
mer's holiday, rs he was strolling over the
lines, he met private Ducc, wearing II pair
of bags" that would have disgraced the
limbs of a cro-sing-sweeper. stop, siri"
shouted the colonel, wTathfuly " How
dare you appear in public in such shame
full trowsers ?" Duce was taken back (
the sudden attack, and not having famed
n sufficiently plausible excuse, was silent.
"Have you not" continued the colonel.
"anOther pair in bauucks?" Yc- sir"
was the smeek respousn. "'Ihcn, why
didn't you put them on ?" Because" re-
pile Ddce, with true military seI,-l OsS, T.
sion, They're worse thau thes,, sir!"
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

.lle of Poor Rum, Whi7'y key, Proof 5rir-
ATS, and Refuse Liquor, ,u. .'.-. , r.... ',
and EweeteneI t. please t.H t..-. '. g.. l'i ..'
"Anpetzcrs, " Restore a p, q. i.l %
tipplcr on 60 drunkcunezs audi .l, l.- g'E ltr-f
Medicine, made tIOm t.l N-l.n T.. a..
Herbs OF California, free from CIT Z a@3.c
PURIFIER and IiIF'ii GIVING PLLN-
CIPLE, u perfect EcloF1'uc aud lu7.saIa-or
OF the System, carrying Oh 4. POI ~onous matter,
and restoring tine blood 10 b Il.hy condition.
No person can take these BttCrs, according to
directions, and remgin long uIwCh
500 will be given for an lncHr1hls ca7e, pro-
viding the bones are not dcs.royeI hy, mineral
poisons or other means, and the vital organs
waste beyond the point of repair.
For Inflamtnqtory and Chronic Rheu-
matism, and Gout. Dyspepsia, or Indi-
Restion, Bilious, Remittent. and Inter-
mittent FeVe-s, Diseases of the Blood,
Liver, Kidneys, and Bladder, these Bit
tsrs have been most successul. Such Dis
eases are caused by Initiated Blood, which
is generally produced by arrangement Of the
They invigorato tho stomach and stimulate
the torpid liver aud bowels, which reader them
of unoGuallel efficacy in 80 rs'Hg the bloo OF
all impurities, Rad impa-t.Lg nav life and vigor
TO the whole system.
Dyspepsia or Indigestion, Headache,
Pain in the shoulders, Coughs, TlghtnGss OF the
Chos;, Dizziness, Sour Stomach, Bad Taste in
the Mouth. Bilious Attacks, Palpitation OF the
Heart, Copious Discharges OF Urine, Pain in
the regions of the Kidnsys, and a hundred other
painful symptoms which are tina ohsprings OF
Dyspepsia, are cured by these Bitters.
lllcanse the Initiated Blood whenever you find
is impurities bursting through the skin in PIN
pies, Bruptions, or boresi cleanse It when II il
foul and your feelings will tell you when. Keep
the blood pure and tho health OF the system will
follow.
PIN, TAPE, and other WORMS, lurking in
the system OF so many Thousands, are effectuAlly
destroyed and removed.
Por full directions, read carefully the circular
around each bottle, printed in four languagss-
lfah
j. WALKER, 80 & 50 Commerce Street, N. Y.
Proprietor. II. II. MCDONALD & CO.,
Druggists and General Agents.
Ban Francisco, California, and 50 ando4 Com
merea Street, N. Y.
~ SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS AND
DEALERS.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16
HOW Wars are Preeinitated.

A cirtain King, it is said, sent to another
King, saying, "Send me blue pig with a
black tail, or else -" The other, in
high dudgeon, at the presumed insult re-
piled, 81 have not got one, and if / had
-" On this weighty cause they went
to war for many years. After a safety of
glories and miseres, they finally hethought
themselves that, rs their armies and re-
sources We're exhausted, and their king
doms naturally laid waste, it might bc
well to consult about the preliminarics o
peace; but before this could be concluded,
diplomatic explanation was first needed
OF the insulting language which formed
the ground Of the quarrel. "Whut could
you mean asked the second King of the
first, "by saying, send me blue pig with
a black tail, or clse-?'" why" said
the other, II meant Il blue pig with a black
tail, or else some other color.n But" re-
torted he, "what could you mean by say
ing, Il have not got one, and if | had
-" "Why,' Of course, if l had !
should have sent it, an explanation which
was entirely satisfactory, and peace was
concluded accordingly.
Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-16

A dispatch from Dayton says private adj
vi ,es nom Wash n ,JOn staUe JHaJ ca, I,..-
glish mission has been rendered to Gcuer /
Schenck.