Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1870-01-21
GLEANNGS.

husband, wish you would buy
ME some pretty feathers" r
Indeed, my dear little wife, you
look better without them
''Oh, no. said she, ,coaxingly ;"you
always call me your little bird, and
how does bird look without feath
ers 2"
A young wife demonstrated with
her husband, dissipated spend
Thrift, on his conduct. "My love-
said he'll am only like the Prodigal
Son; I shall reform by and-by"
"And l will be like the Prodigal Son.
too," she replied, ''for 1 will arise
and go to my father" And off she
went.
IRRITABLE SCHooLMAsTER ER-'Now.
then, stupid, what's that next word?
What comes after cheese9'' Dull
boy: ga mouse, SIR
Spurgeon's nose has become a
matter Of London newspaper com .
ment. It is SIS much red as his ser
mons.
''Jake; lend me ten dollars till [
sell my dog?" Jake replied. sooth-
ingly and sympathetically. .'Oh, Jim!
I wouldn't sell him.
Fanny Fern having said that smen
of the present day ave fast. Prentice
replies that they have to be. to
catch the women
The husband that devoured his
wife with kisses, found, afteryard,
that she disagreed with him.
The following appears in a daily
paper: =, Wanted-girIs for cook
ing" Have we cannibal amongst
US?
At recent railway festival the
following striking sentiment was
given:
"Our AotAers-The only faithful
tenders who never misplaced q
suitch"
| Not having heard from the de-
batting societies, in relation to the
conundrum, "why do hens always
lay eggs in the day. time p a cotem-
pofary answers, because at night
they are roosters.''
"Sammy. run to the store,and get
Some stfgar." Excuse me, ma I'm
somewhrt indisposed, this morning.
Send father, and tell him to bring :.
paper of tobacco along
A man being asked,as he lay sun
ming himself on the grass, what was
| the height of his ambition, replied,
Ito marry d rich widow with bad
|cough.'
| A raiser Of poultry. in Louisiana
has dug well at the entrance of his
hen house, and placed a fitting Gov
er on it. His catch averages one
thief a night
| A lady who was very modest and
submissive before marriage, was OBJ
served by her friend to use her
tongue pretty freely after. There
was time when I almost immag
ined SHE had none" sYes,' said
her husband, with sigh; s.but it is
very long since
'What death would you Prefer to
die p said a person to another. 4
don't exactly know; l should like to
try seven or eight before deciding
the point
| During an eximination, a. medical
student being asked the question.
When does modification ensue?
replied, ''When you pop the quest
ion, and are answered no.
| Why is the letter r very unfortu-
, nate Because it is always in trouble,
wretchedness, and misery, is the be-
ginning of riot and ruin, and is new
er found in peace, innocence, or
love.
I "Woulen't you call this the calf
of leg? ?'' asked Bob, pointing to
one of his neither limbs. NO. re-
piled Pat-''I should sly il was the
; leg of d calf.''
A verdant Cape Colder, upon see
, ing locomotive, for the first time,
threw up his hand, exclaiming, ''By
thunder, what darned great
! stove?
f Josh Billings says: II don't be-
lieve in bad luck heing sot for
man like trap; but l have known
, lots of folks who, if there was any
first rate bad luck lying around loose,
would be sure to get one foot into tt
: ennyhow"
Send your little child to bed hap
py Whatever cares press, give it
a warm goodnight kiss as it goes to
its pillow. The memory of this in
the stormy years which fate may
have in store for the little one, will
be like Bethlehem's star to the be-
wildered sheperds.
| The Koran says; Ye men con-
slider that woman was formed from
a crooked bone, therefore, ye be-
levers have patience with woman
for if you try to straigtcn crooked
bone it will break
Kangaroo sausages are now sent
from Australia to England. Theif
chief charm is that people know, or
. think they know, what the sausages
are made of.
A little cir! looking at a picture
of Eve in Boston gallery, exclalm
| ed, 80, mother. should think that
| ~ - la,