, 1870-04-24
TIT:BITS,

Alitue girl Of or 1asunmers.
what dust was, replied that 1T WISE
the tuce squeezed OUT
In Connecticut town, the oil
the pastor Of 3 church waa waikiki
aisle, = good brother came ont of
aecosted the gtsod man n inquire ~
want eouae good yelle1 butter"
What woman wlll 10 IN apecine4
Sut thr Nisea1 Ut mn Will declan
tcockaiNsutn, son'se s.zht,' sztd ees+.
And the wiser, the less he wiil--caze.'
"a Quaker. rigid1y aeheziug to the rules
his sect. invanaGly calls rev ''hou tree
-A chap wlo bought : ia meter II Akron
wanted to know "how lone such bek-faH
would last."
The Reason Why. Graudna, lend p.e
your specs: .'wGat for:" "for half a
uiuute.'
al Olivier, rayu Punch, il hrav> xaap.
In the midst OF Lis own work for liberty hAen-
couraecs Lis wife to discourage the low.necE.1
dresses worn by ladies' We are afraid IL viii
be found easier to reform than to re-tifess.-
An ice-bouse iaborer being killed By 3
lump d ice falling on his head, the verdict
vas, Died Of hard drink"
"A ST, Louis paper speaking Of family in
New York thAt nado fortune ont OF whiskev.
SAYS they live on Twentr-third street, in per
feet deliriunl trene,s Of gp1endor.
my dear doctor" said lady, 4. I suf1er y
great deal with mv eyes" BE patient, mad
ame," he replied, "you would probably suffer
great deal more without Them
What roof covers the most noisy tenant: !:
| The roof Of the mouth.
Why is love Ike canal boat Becar.e ii
| ia Al internal transport
Horribly ureverent--How to prove the
Pope ia not infalhide: put pin in the Papal
chair.
making money than his literary requirements.
who had sent bis aon abrpsd to sec the wo-ld,
had his attention called By the banker TO \
draft of 5000 france, made b the young sen.
hetnan, - rather hoasE. Frames. francs
dollar: Oh, fudge: let John bare ~ many Of
them little things as he xanta.
This is the poetic Way IN which Wessdeld,
Mass-, character explained how he got ILL
matched with ; bhrew.
"Tne rhi1t1ep VI Is1Aei wanted bseatl,
And the Lord sent them mann4:
capssla George Acc Nosiee, wante,i wife,
and the devil sent him Hannah"
:" Here, Alfred; is AZ apple. Divide it ,po,
sea sfsiS J,tn ofel. 5na ms ipe the l.rser
part to the other person, mt child Alfred
handed The app1e to his little sister, saving,
!. Here, eis, you divide it yourself
The London Judy irrererently defines MIS-
government to be wura1n suffrage.
"A cr11str old bachelor SAYS be thinks it is
wotnan::and not her H1ongs, that ought to be-
1eifessed.
We heard in late sermon an Auecdote of
Al old merchant who instructed his clerks
When man comes into the store and talks
Of his honesty, watch him il be talks OF h;s
wealth, don't try to sell him; Il he talks OF hia
religion, don't trust him a do1lar'' .
-Df. Dnacan, Professor OF New College,
Edinburgh, Scotland. il dead 1t Is Of TIL
absent t-ninded gentleman that the mnc!,
shusea story is told to this effect. 4 COW hav-
,ng o1ushed Against him, be mechanically lifte1
LIS bat and nuttered: II beg your pardon.
madam" Two days after he stumbled against
l1dF, and exclaimed: ~ Ia that fou agaEl,
ycu neasts"
An infant Of Waterbury, named Freddy,
vent to lis mother one evening and inquired
Mother, What IL gene sucker: The nof1-
er said be mustn't ast such Questions but Fr r
DR. persisted, and WAS fn.l1y esat to bed TO t4f
his prayers BY himself, insteAd at on hia mosa
er's Ian, - usual. So Freddy prayed: tod
bless papa, and mamma. and baby but- aa Tor
me. II been bad bog, and guess M g3'4s
suc1tr! =
- Here is the style in which the Te1ss J;''s~
rlstute announces aInuecmtnts: Clfrtses
n.e thicker in Te4&a now than HddletH At. IL
hell Wal. for Soyes' il you want to see he
beat" ~
"A little girl bcsring her mother asy .nas
ehe Wis Eoiug TO wear ! dress trimmed With
bucIes to party, itnocently asked II the ha
rles would blow when she moved about "0h
20. replied the mother, but your father vii
blow when he hea1s that Tye bought theuu.
"A mother who ha1 with her little dkuxt-
tea, vss examining tho asurs Of : ho no 70