The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-05-20

hind the gentleman,E partly covered up
with his coat, was a keg of lager beer,
and right behind that. on his knees,
with a gimlet in his hand, and a strawin
his mouth, sat gentleman in a grey
suit, noted for his advocacy of city
hall. Close behind him, with another
straw similarly situated, was Major b.
81 say, Governor" says the Major, "hon-
or bright; let me have the first pull, and
| we'll be friends forever more, and will
go for you for next Governor" mo,
no, Major" replied he of the gray, clap
ping his thumb on his nose aud gyrating
the fingers, "a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush. am too old goose
to be caught by foxes" s-f '
L strolleds along under the shade of a
giant oak, and surrounding it were four
cloths literally loaded to the edge of
each with good things, and with backs
leaning against the tree, in the middle
of the whole, stood merchant d. and
Mayor c., and the way they, during the
repast, revolved around that tree, was a
caution to everybody, Where they put
the good things that they were constant
~ reaching for was a mystery to me.
account for it upon no other hypothesis
but that they must have been scooped out
mighty thin to the bottom of their feet.
But all things must come to an end,
and so did the feast. AT its conclusion
a simultaneous cry arose for speech.
Cries for Cross, Cross, Mayor Cross,
were heard from every quarter. The
shouts for Cross were long and loud,
and finally, by the aid of Councilman
W., assisted by DR.. j., his honor assum-
ed the perpendicular, and first giving a
very undignified wink to the lady of
colored Republican,, and chueking an
other 18th amendment female under the
chin, he thus commenced: Friends,
COUNT ymen and lovers, hear me for my
cause, and be silent that you may hear.
This entirely unique and original COM
mencement elected such thunders of ap-
plause as to entirely drown the voice of
the speaker for some time, during which
most of the audience left for their homes,
and we will too. Yours truly,
r+ VERACITY.
p. S. Since writing the above have
been informed (but for the truth of this
l will not vouch, as aim to give per-
feet and accurate account,) that the CASH
Ter of one of our soundest monied insti-
buttons became SO elated that he actually
refused to ride back to town with the
person that he rode out with. unless the
horse was hitched up with his head to the
dash board. / rather doubt this story,
as my informant is not very reliable au-
thority, being no other than the ex-
Sheriff alluded to. 1, however, give it
for what it is worth. V.
1.-THE above, as all of our readers will
know, veracious description of the pic
mic, was received too late for last weeks
paper. We should judge from the fact
that a number of the gentlemen alluded
to were not there, that the writer must
have purloined the keg of lager SO vivid
ly referred to, and that he was, in conse-
quence thereof, endowed with double
sight. We give greater credence to the
matter of theft from the fact that just
as we were leaving the grounds we no.
ticed that the writer of the above was
engaged in the midst of a harangue,
which he was pronouncing i'll maudlin
manner in the ears of select few. The
last words we could distinguish were
in the language of Dick Swiveller:
Remember the once popular melody of
Drown dull care; fan the sinking flame
of hilarity with the wing of friendship
and pass the rosy lager. '"-EDs.l 40" ;