The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-08-25
WIT AND nUMon.

~ WdSSIoh c''IIor o"Jo I""o WV
streets of one of the Western cities are
to he lighted with red headed girls.
That chap wants 10 hug the lamp posts.
A lady was one day walking
through the streets of London, when
the tray of butchers boy came in
contact with her and soled her dress.
"The deuce take the trayy" she ex-
claimed angrily. ".Ah, but the deuce
can't take the tray replied the boy. =
An Indianapolis German had occa-
sion recently to bury large wife, and
so squabbled with the sexton about the
ice. Dat ish not big grave" said
the disconsolatc husband. "Not big
grave" Indignantly responded the SEX
ton; "why, hang it, that's cellar"
Some of the questions proposed
for discussion at meeting Of a Wes-
tern debating club were these: "Is
dansin' morale rong?" "Is it ncces
sary that femaiIs shud receavc thurry
literary eddication?'' sort remails to
take parts in polytix:" "Duss dress
constitute the molalle pats of wimin 2"
Say, which enjoys the greater blisses,
John. who Dorinda's picture kisses,
Or Tom, his friend, the favored elf
Who kisses fair Dorinda's self?
Faith, It's easy to divine, ..sF
While both are thus with rapture faintin',
To wlich the balance should incline,
Since Tom and John Both kiss q paintin'.
A lady was passing along street
the other day, when she was met by a
young man full of bad whisky, who, in
staggering past, stepped on her dress.
farming to the lady he remarked, apol
osoticallv, "Hoops take up too much
room," 10 which the lady quietly re-
piled: Not so much as whiskey, sir"
and pa ,sed on.
"A well-known judge, when lie first
came 10 the bar, was very laundering
speaker. On one occasion, when he
was trying q case involving right Of
property to lot OF pigs, he said:
''Gentlemen ofthc nry, there were just
twcniy-four pigs in that drove--just
twenty -four, gentlemen-exactly twice
as many as there are in that jury box"
-THE NAUGHTY Boy AGA1N.-"Ma,
ma, cousion Bills in the parlor with
Jane, aud he keeps bitin' her."
What! William biting my Jane ?"
"Ycsm. Bit her right on the mouth
and the tarnal gal didn't holler bit,
mother"
"Ah, never mind, Ned, 1 guess he ).
didn't hurt her much"
"Why she loves it, she does cause
sho kept letting him and didn't say
nothing, but jist smacked her lips as if
it was good, she did. saw it all
through the key,hole."
"A story is told of q drowsy ID,
who breaches in the Disciples. Church,
Charlottesville, Va, and has u nice dog.
The dog always. accompanies tue d.
vine to shurch, and the other Sunday,
in the middle of the sermon, the dog
got up and yawned in sympathy with
the congregation, and straightway took
his masters hat to him in the pulpit.
The doctor continued his sermon, and
the impatient dog produced tue old
mans cane and placed it beside the hat,
with an appealing wag of the tail. The
doctor took the hint, and rcmarking
that the dog was probably right, dis
missed the congregation.
"A CENSUS INCIDENT AN episode
that lightened the labors of an assistant
in one of the upper wards, says the
New York Times, was an interview
with German with but little of this
worlds goods, but blessed with eight
children under bis rooftrce, and four
married and living out. He was inter-
viewed where he sat--on his bench
with boot in one hand and his awl IN
TIE other After considerable spelling
and effort to write down most unpro-
nounceable name, the children were ia
ken from the eldest down the ladder
until the youngest, an infant OF six
months was reached.
"What is her name ?" said the inter.
rosator. ..' 4,
WELL" said the cobbler, laying
down his work, scratching his head,
and looking bIankly M the frou, "dat is
vat don't know. She has got no
name. Now, old woman, you see vat it
is; dot child go midout dot censis."
Yes" said the assistant gravely, sit
is very important that the child should
have name"
.'Vell," said the fiou, II told you
how it vas; my man he want dot his
child sail have Won name vat he likes;
| like some oder name. We have
talked much over init dis ting, and we
have not choose any name," she con-