Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-06-23

Twelve acres are OcVOsSu W LII
dren's play ground in Paramount Park,
Philadelphia.
"A child's nurse at Oakland, Cal, has
been sentenced to six months imprison-
ment for beating her charge.
Why would Samson have made
good opera-singeri Because he could 30
easily have brought down the house.
THE increase of business in the Wash
ington Life in 1887 over 1865 was greater
than any other cash company.
"A benevolent gentleman has dis
covered that in forty years snun taker
devotes twenty four months to blowing
his nose
The idle clerks who do as little as
possible down in Washington, are now
classed among the pen-shunners OF the
Government.
A blind beggar Of New York city ad-
vertises for boy 10 lead him about the
streets, and offers liberal wages for the
service.
-"Get your life insured for 110 .0Q0,"
said jealous insurance agent, "and then,
if You die tomorrow, the widows heart
will sing for joy"
An extraordinary GOODNESS exists be-
tween the towns of Yonkers and Cox.
sackie, N. Y, consisting of about forty ex-
tensive ice houses
"A man in Terre Hsute, Ind. who,
some years since was divorced from his
wife, now has her doing house work for
wife number two.
The Spaniards have saying, "At
eighteen marry your daughter to her su-
perior; at twenty, to her equal at thirty,
to anybody that will have her."
The Hnruard ADVOCATE says that this
is the last thing from an imprisoned lover
TO his mistress Would you were an ex.
clamation point and paranthesis o."
An exchange says: "Trying to do
business without advertising is like wink
ing through pair OF green goggles. You
may know that you are doing 1T, but no.
body else does
The only prisoner in the Nantucket
Jail notifies the authorities that II they
don't fix up that Jail so that the sheep
can't get in to bother him, he will be
blowed if he will stay in there.
"A poor fellow had just had his leg
taken off at Guys Hospital, London, the
other day. After the operation, the sur
geon inquired kindly how he felt. "Sir, "
said the MANNED one, 81 feel--incom-
plete."
"A woman applied to magistrate for
summons against neighbor. She
called me thief your worship. Can't l
make her prove it?" "No doubt you
could" said the magistrate, "but l think
you had better not"
An epitaph on husband and wife,
in country church, we are informed,
concludes with holy quotation meant to
be polite, but which may certainly be con-
strued in two ways. 1t is the following /:
"Their warfare is accomplished"
"A dairyman was awakened by wag
in the night with the announcement that
his best COW was choking. He forthwith
Jumped up to save the life OF Crummie,
when, 10 he found turnip stuck in the
mouth of the pump.
"A Rocky Mountain paper, noting the
invention of process by which q dead
body can be petrified as hard as stone,
thinks the inventor fought to accompany
our troops on the frontier, where he could
drive pretty good business in petrifying
Indians and selling them for tobacco
signs" r
Did Weston walk his hundred miles !?
Wilkes Spirit Of tile Times says: We
caution those who had bets on this affair
against paying anything. He never
walked q hundred miles at the rink, and
we can prove it. No doubt some Of the
newspaper dupes think he did, but we
know better"
Two California BARRIERS quarreled and
arranged duel. They were to walk
around block in opposite directions, and
each was to fire at sight of his antagonist.
They started, and, as soon as the block in
tervened, each took the shortest cut for
home, complaining that his adversary
didn't come to time
"A youth named Henry Eagan, while
practising on the horizontal bar in Pres
ton, Conn, turned over and succeeded in
unjointing his wrist With wonderful
presence of nina, he turned back and re-
iointed it. The story of the man who
lost and regained his eyesight through
The means of q bramble bush is now cred
ible.
-" What is the size of this place ?"
gravely asked New Yorker of the con-
ductor, Just after the brakeman had sung
out the name of Southern station, where
not house was visible among the pines
except q rambling shell called an eating
saloon" It's about as big as New YORK"
was the ready answer, but 1t ism t built
up yet"
Personal apd Literary.
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