Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-07-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

ia sac -
A PROUD man is a fool in fermentation.
NEVER trust to time-for time will tell
WHEN lovers quarrel do they returnthe
kissesP ga.
1WHoEvER is badly sold is apt to look
FEW artists can draw a pretty mouth
18TH fewer can draw a tooth. Z H!I|
PVA R6TDoUr grocer notifies the public
that he has Knew Syder. for Seu." zs5
WHAT'horn~ produces the most discord-
ant musicP The drinking hofn.A ~
DoCToRs of Law and Medicine insure
in'the Washington Life Insurance Com
pany. 'itf or
+ To convert an artless maiden into a
heartless one, there only wants a he"
81 HAVE not loved lightly" said a man
who married a 300-pound widow.
Policies become self, sustaining in the
Washington Life Insurance Company of
New York.
~ BLESSED is the pedagogue. In scorch-
ing day., he is the only who keeps
. ANEW York paper says that not one
pound in ten of the honey sold in that
city ever knew a bee.
\ TIE "sportive seer ofa daily paper
ssys; I'VE do not sspiEsstoth p glory of
f0retening recent events. :
H. A TALENTED street~car mule, insNew
lOrleans, isdriven w~ithoutlines, butEapid-
Ily obeys the, bell signals instead. :
A HIsrRI6NIc individual, who has haerd-
% good dealabout he heaTe of war;"
suggests that the backseats must be very
desirable. :
l. To Newly MARRfSDCouR1Es.2Hsv
anything for dinner rather than a fowl
if you would keep @theskeleton out of
the cupboafh. =
NOTICE. AToS any-one--who caHsay.
q Shoes and socks shncISnsan, "S with
rapidity and faultless pronunciation -four
times r~uhainge 1args1rsMard win be
Ia VAC, passing by sa-house which had
been almost consumedJbyf fire, inquired
whose it was. Being told that twas a
hatter's-sAh," said he '4then the loss
fpscaTled out RFo&Tf5 the waiter
at Sans. GDon't csff-me- boy, SIR; Pm
;bno boy, sirS' said ~thes1atter. Then do
as you'd besdone by Sp1t mBrowR and
don't call this mutton-lamb-any moreP'
lid"MAMMA," said an Intelligent little girl,
ewhat is the meaning ola book being
printed in 12mo2" 't1Rhy my deaEmmre re-
piled the mother, "it@eansthe bo6kwin
I Re published in twelve months"
~'Now, my little boYsana girls1 said q
teacher, az want you to be very qufet-so
EQul6b Ludb yOu Cdu AtdE dPlHAEOp. = III u
minute ali was silent, when a little boy
shrieked, Let her DROP"
"No one would take you for what you
are" said an oldfashiSned gentleman, a
day or two ago,tota dandy who had more
hair than braina H5Whyfr was immed-
ately asked "Beeanse they cannot see
your ears"
THAcKERAY being told that an acquaint-
ance of his, who was notorious for his
Il 10ua 0f hoar had salad for Tn die ran1ind
He was aSgood fellow. Take him for
4halfand-half, We shall not look upon hIs
like again" ezrq43. -b. 81
"I wML-forfeit my head if I am in
the wrong" exclaimed q warm and tall
orator to the President M~ontesquieu, in
an argument. @"Eaccept it." replied the
philosopher: "any triae among friends
has a value" ssT 4ft b, t7., .1
lin view of the hot weather last month
a Western editor can'tlsee the applicable
ty of Lowels oft quoted line: - TN1gt +
slU ! tfr WhAtie 50 rare as a day in JuneF
and suggests an amendment, thus n.
"What is SO cooked as a day in Junef"
NOT AT ALI ARTICUIARAA5 bachelor
t says that all he should 81 for In a wifi
/ would be q good temper, health good un.
derstandihg agreeable Physiognomy, goof
81 figure, good connection, domestic habits
resources of amusement, good spirits, con
versationar talents, elegant manners, and
money tdAdj>IHoE or 10 sHoii
DIR. BEEcHER often relates the anecdott
of a. minister who preached six sermons
! to, show who Melchisedek was, andIelose6
hisalast sermon with the summary : "An6
sowe see, brethren, that we don't know
who Melchisedek was, and that it i'taini
no matter.H -oi ZTI1D II HI bTl. soi
IA THE RULING PAssIoN.-A famous usure1
of Paris being on his deathbed, his con
fessor presented a cruciix to him, with
! view to awaken him to a sense of his stu
4 stion. The dying miser, after examining
.. the cross with the most minute attention,
suddenly exclaimed, ." Sir, I can lend you
but very small sum on such pledge"
a SICK man in Boston, who noticed his
little daughter looking eagerly at some
fruit at his bedside, said to her o"Yor
would not take them awayfrom your sick
papa, would youa2s She replied, hesitat.
mgly, NO. Iwouldnt,n and then colered
up, ant ingenuously added but, papa
FI tell a story when 1 say so."a He gave
her the fruit, r. i.I -
sE3 'tMoTHRR,' said the, little. girl who was
engaged in making her doll an apron, az
believe l shall be a duchess when grow
up" How do you ever expect to be
tcomea duchess my daughter? 2" her mother
asked. "Why,' by marrying a Dutchman,
to be sure" replied the girl. y : y
LFTHKY- have avery comical system oi
.fpasses in the theatres and places ofamuse
ment in the Philippine Islands. When q
lnative wishes to leave the apartment with
1.-The intention of returning, he has his
'tmzked forearm, near. the wrist, stamped
as he goes on With Z black die, which Sc
} cures his re-admission, and at the same
;5ffme obviates' all anxiety as to- his
Hesing his ticket. On his return this mark
-.is easily wiped out. Tickets not rams
fersble Il OITAIRo liza or SO.
has been generally believed, for many
fyears, that a feather bed was a sure pro.
lection from lightning. A circumstance
which recently occurred in Greenfield
d Connecticut, s~catters this belief TO the
4Winds. Lightning entered the apartment
MI. and Mrs. Banks, tore open the
g leather bed upon which the parties men
dtiened, with a small child, were sleeping
Hand set the bed-clothes on fire, singed of
the hair and eyebrows of Mrs. Banks
blistered her chest from the neck down
Hand knocked her completely senseless
ItMr. Banks was also m~omentarily stunned
fbut recovered in time to extinguish the
fire. The child, although lying on its
mothers arm, was not hurt.