Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1870-12-17
4 Practical Joke on a pair Of Lovers.
(From the oregonlan. ]

at Astoria, under circumstances which
were quite as romantic, if not as
agreeable. as the parties could have de-
sired. The compile had arranged to
have the ceremony performed at the
church Immediately upon firing of the
steamship Cal,fornia's gun, the steamer
being expected to arrive from Portland
about 8 O'Clock on Friday morning, and
they were to go Immediately on board
for voyage to San Francisco. Friends
of the parties and the Parson had been
invited to hold themselves in intsant
readiness to repair to the church upon
the firing of the steamers gun. So,
all retired Thursday night prepared to
rise as early ut least as the morning
twilight, to participate in or to witness
the interesting ceremony. Meantime,
the powers that be, at Portland, had
postponed the sailing of the steamer
from this city to Friday evening"
fact. which our Astoria friends were,
of course, not informed. But it was
the destiny Of the happy groom and
bride expectant to be married even
sooner and with quicker dispatch than
they anticipated. A bout three o'clock
Friday morning, long before the rosy
God of Morn had begun to rouse him>
self, the startling roar of cannon
broke upon the stiIlaess of the night,
putting TO fight the fantastic vagaries
which will play bo peea. up and down,
through and through, across and around,
10 the brains OF the people ON their
wedding eve. Somnus fed instantly
from the couch>side Of the groom ; fled
from the couch side OF the bride out
into the open air aud up the steep
MOUNTAINS side, DER the hills and far
away, to sit again upon only such eye
lids as were beyond the reverberating
echoes of that loud moathed signal gun.
Astoria was broad awake, and Astoria,
in its collective personality, with widely
beating heart, eyes wide staring into
the pitch darkness, sat bolt upright in
its bed and exclaimed in tremulous, his.
sing whisper, What's that I Can it be?
Yes il must-it is-the steamers gun"
In an instant Astoria was out of bed,
aud peering anxiously, inquiringly out
of its chamber toward the river, which
was rolling darkly, sullenly out TO sea,
and again, that tremulous, Kissing whis-
per, whats that? Can it be! Yes,
it must bet is--a light upon the
dock Another light! They move to
and fro--the steamer! the wedding y
And then there were eager and hurried
c .iiin. s; hastily>made toilettes; messen>
gers hurrying and scurrying through
the town-tor the parson, the brides
maids, the groomsnlen and every body
else; a snatching Of umbrellas, band
boxes, reticnles, trunks, carpet bags
and etceteras; quick trampiug of feet
to the church; hurried taking of
'this woman" and "this man to love,
protect, aud cherish, to love, honor aud
obey, and all that and then farewells
and a hieing away down III the darkness
and rain, TO the dock. Arriving at the
dock the party found-not steamer,
not living soul in sight, but lone
dimly Pickering lantern which, in its
solemn, silent loneliness, seemed to
have no connection at all with the liv~
ing world, aud to have nothing to do
bat stand and sputter aud flicker out
the tag end of "brief candle" The
party so hurriedly Assem- bled there
stood moment in blank amazemeat t.,
and then the fact began to dawn, till at
last it burst it full force, upon their
minds that they had been sold. One
tremendous kick sent the offending Ian.
tern, doubled UP and used up, far into
the black darkness which hung over the
river, whence it went down, down
among the laughing naiads. "Our
army in Flanders swore terribly" but
not with more JUNCTION than did one
or two of the party as the whole truth
flashed upon their minds. Somebody
knowing of the intentions Of the young
people, had risen while it was yet not
daylight by a long chalk, had charged
and fred an old rusty gun, and then
had rushed for while around the dock
to create the belief that the steamer
had come, and then had hid away tc
enjoy the result. Il is hardly necessary
TO say that, after waiting as long as they
felt like it, the party finally retire dand
waited day and . night for the
steamer.