The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-11-21
An inn-yocation-Tending bar.
Sheet music-Singing in bed.
Yankee rights--Patent rights.

Yankee rights-Patent flSnCs' r
A current report-A tide table.
strapping fellow--An hostler.
The sweets Of office-Tbe sugar duties.
miss is better than mile-Of mistefs'
When are thieves like leopards? Wheh
they are "spotted."
Trifes make perfection, but perfection IT,
self is not trifie. ~
Unfinching flannel and men are uncom'
mon in the market.
WHY is the sun like good loaf? Because
| it's light when it rises.
Dangerous individuals-People dressed
| to kill.
A musical burglar-One who breaks into
tune.
Definition of kiss-A report from head
quarters.
The book whose contents rule the world
Pocket-book. .t
A dangerous character-A man who takes
life cheerfully.
The man who works with will-The
probate judge.
A New York couple stopped "gittin,"
married the other day to witness lively
dog-fght in the vestihule.
The story about the blue-eyed Wisconsin
girl who sheared forty sheep in one day Is
sheer nonsense.
1t has become n question as to whether
phrenologst can tell what barrel contains
by examining its head.
Paintings by cold masters" are now so
little thought of that new masters don't
paint them.
Flint to mothers-Whe hen child will creep
rather than walk, it's sign of an on-kneesy
disposition.
The height of ri Ute's ambition is to
marry q woman with winters store OF
dried grasshoppers.
A was said of an cgotistical writer:
Somebody should take pity on his read
ers, and put out his rs"
Taking part in charity dinner may be
described as eating yourself, to keep other
people from starving.
WHY is q lamplighter like a cowardly
soldier? Because he runs away from his
posts.
A Savannah paper classifies the members
of.the Radical party in that vicinity as
"colored negroes and white negroes"
What is the difference between the cap
tain of a baseball nine and prize-fghter?
One heads the batters, and the other bat
tiers the heads.
A California Professor is writing essays
" on the ffy's nose" A very ticklish place
to write essays, we should say, though per-
haps he nose it.
Hotel elevators are about to be erected
in Harper's publishing house. They have
been found to work so excellently in get
ting up STORIES.
Never eat while you speak. as mans
throat is too narrow channel for words to
pass up and good meat to pass down at the
same time.
A Persian philosopher being asked by
what method he had acquired SO much
knowledge, answered "By not being pre-
vented by shame from asking questions
when was ignorant"
An exchange speaks of Republican cam
didate in New York having peted large
vote. That editor should bear in MIND that
Republican candidates do not pole votes.
They bayonet them.
An Illinois parson is gradually but surely
extinguishing the church debt by having
the sexton lock the congregation in till they
come down with specified amount, he
preaching at them all the time.
The Chinese are queer people to go to
market. A friend at San Francisco writes
that a neighbor Of his had just laid in his
winters provisions--a hind quarter of q
horse and two barrels Of bull dogs.
A letter was received lately at the Chicago
post-ottice directed "To an Honest Man."
The chief clerk sent it to the dead-letter
department, with the candid confession
that the man addressed did not live there
A Vermont girl wants to know if the
womas's rights movement includes the
right to do the counting. If it does, she is
in for it, as the men in her vicinity are very
bashful. There is something practical in
that.