Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-10-27
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
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AN 'INN-votciATr1toNArending bar
MANY men are worth nothing, and some
are worth less if1T saw tAHI
"WAsCH8e DUN HEAR" is the way q
Chicago Laundry has it.
I llsWH1sN. ridfmts a donkey, what kind Of
fruit do you representa- A pe0r,,i ne
DOES mosquito draw his bill at sight
when he draws it.inF Che darkY'C
/ Il ONE of2the few,things that, may as well
be run, into the groqndIa, p1ow-share.
a FREMcHMAN Wishing TO compliment
! a girl as a HItsle lamb tcalledher "small
mutton"
! WHY is Young lawyer like the national
curency9 BECAUSE he dsia legal tenderand
somewhat green. rf,,.
"MoTHER," said a dirty-Ieggod youth
who was washing his feel, d / have just got
down to;a stocking,p to,, L;6 yiFe
IT is nearly as impossible to get money
out ofJaahissr Es 1t would be for butcher
to get lamb-chops out of a battering ram
THE Mutual Life Insurance Company, OF
! Chicago,l is lthel oldest Life Company in
Illllin93is, Iii g apdy SECOND 70 none in the Union
A LOCAL editor of paper having ne
Gently got. married, a. contemporary says
May his father-ip-law die rich, and ena
ing business and set up cake shopatsOme
railway station, 81.
SIDNEY SMITH says, regarding the un-
necessary consudnption of food /; q Accord
ing to my computation, 1 have eaten and
drunk, between my tenth and sevehtieth
years; forty -four wRg6nloads morethan was
gopd Tor =me.I9df .s!dgr'! 10 .stgra0l =
LADY" Four of those chairs which I
7 so lately purchased of you are broken
aUuhoIsterer-s Indeed, fmadlamei Tic on
ly way that can account f0r, that is that
, some one must have been sitting on them y
THEODORE Hook once saw ap exceed
ingiy pompous man walking IN a street IN
London tWlioml he immediately 'Accosted
thus " Sir may l inquire if you are any
BODY in particular ~ iHest then walked of
without waiting for reply d9aa1H
Mrs. .PARTINGToN wants to know if il
were not intended that woman should
drive their husbands, why are they put
through the bridal ceremony? There seems
to be Something plausible in the suppo-
sitions for nearly all the ladies are providing
themselves with switches. -.H = e4
: AT the annual meeting of the Boston
Soldiers Fund Association, held a few
days Since, the Treasurefs report showed
that during the past year $6,76E had been
disbgrsed to soldiers families The fund
oRganizatiOn- of the ssQciat1on,- in 1862,
about 1000 applications for aid, amounting
to $70,130, have been granted 91Ug ~
a CHILD while walking through, an art
gallery with her mother, was attracted by
a statne'of Minerva SWhojis thatf'' said
she: g My child, that is Minerva the god
dess of wisdom" "Why didn't they make
her husband too?" :" Because she had
none, my child y y. <s g That-Was because she
was wise wasn't i, mammal Wast the art
less reply. St}7 E%II- W -
GAIL HAMILTON said recently that hoop
skirts were the one thing dhU Uehftd for
which there isl no Secondary Qse.I This,
the Boston Post now says, is a mistake.
Headdsr- Up PassiRg yiq the ears athrifty-
looking farm house near Lancaster, q few
days ago, we saw two Of these things'
properly suspended and ballasted, under
which were hiy'e9d fine lot of young tur-
keys '9' w ? t'I''-.'8A sii
1nAr a. French fair recently in San Fran,
cisco, for the benefit of the wounded
was dealt out in eatiny gold cup realized
1880; one thousand bottles of brandy
sold at $40 per bottle; and matron who
attended the fair with a box of snuff in a
half hour's-timez sold-the snuff by the
pinch for $2O0-s q Il - OIL
HALL, a queer genius, had made frequent
promises to his friends tllathe would put an
end to himself One stingng cold night he
vowed he would go out and freeze 10 death
About seven O'clock he returned shivering
and swapping his fingers, why don't
you freeze ~ asked tDl0Ving felatiVe. "By
Jovel" =" said tha Rsauda- suicide, "when
freeze tI I mean to tals.a warmer night than
97HERE is veFbatim copy of paper
posted, on the walls. of the Exchange at
Bristol: "To merchants, traders, and nth
ers. A yongsman, about thirty years of
age, who understands the baker bisness
and husbandTy, would 1be glad to go to
A merry ka or any eutdandish place as over
seer and ike of that. Enquire o. the
1Change keeper NJ b! has no objecshun
to go to Bottomley Bay as a Skool Macs
the wild Sayyages." y sG.E rc iiAy 500
, b1bb1s I5Iss on the stream, gIno2 =
psbeaih ARS SHaS;s me- sGS aSSa RS fSs gs
Andrglsten on its side. r
= z .; What tKodSh, before a amonents past, -
1t all must burst in air
The little while ethat it may last, 10
The sunshine makes II fair
" win not care although my dream
q. Be what meier may see; .-.. at..
Ny hope at least can make II seem
f.1gT Jas though it yet might be. -.., -r.-
Alittle longer, and know
--2 1t all may pass away; -rat
Then, when must, I'll let itgO,
= y Bat keepit while may. .' 90"
Journal. p. D, g.5t..
THE Calf (Ontario) Reporter says = "A
young man named George Mays, of Luthur
township, recently went in. pursuit of a
deer, which took refuge In a pond. Being
without firearms, tile hunter boldly
jumped ON the back of the animal,
which; started. from the pond and took
across the fields Mays clinCing to the
horns The deer jumped the fence, and
the. young mans head, coming, in contact
with one of the stakes, was badly cut.
Falling from his seat, he grasped the deer
by the hind legs, and was again mounted
and forced his prize to the ground, amer
receiving a severe cut in one Of his legs
from the animals horns. Mays received
assistance from some neighbors, who
brought an axe and put an end to the
.e.SS-iS I,hn carcass Meighed 145