The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-05-29
WIT AND WrsDoN

~~-~'
"A place to get bad habits-A che
How to manage bachelors-To nj,
The petroleum men are great bores ,,
they mean well.
What does it take to make a na;r
oootss Two boots.
Wanted to know-What saddler marre.
cured the spur of the moment ~
:, Come, sheer off," as the ram said
'ne man who was cutting off his wool.
why Is carpenter like a barber III.
cause ne cannot get along without sIay;no
-" A man can't help what is done beb;n
u n;s oaok," as the scamp said when he wa
kicked out of doors. u"
:. Fast young men smoke a great deal. f.
~ - tue nature of the rake to have
quantity OF weeds about it.
.o;a W Wi Is the cause of that bell ringing 2,
SAID William. 81 think" said John. .stba,
somebody has pulled the rope"
It's poor rule that won't work hot,
xSays," exclaimed the boy, as he threw the
ferule at the schoolmaster's head. '"e
10 make yourselves at home, ladies -
SAID lady one day to her visitors. UT an,
nome myself, and wish you were.v
es; How to get bite.-If you can't coax a
nsn 70 bite, try your persuasive powers on
oioss dog and you will be sure to succeed.
wh. IN, dear J" said fashionable girl,
always thought such things grew in slices y
swell, Alick, how's your brother IL.
getting along" "oh, frst-rate, he's cot
good start in the world-married a w;Js g.
VINO has seven children "-"o"
80; name Is hkea shaved pig with a creased |
t tall and it is only after it has Skinned
through the hands of some thousands. that
'ome Ieilow, by good luck, holds on to- it.
suc, m' what makes your cats keep up
H uHn cursed mewing all the night Yn
DON'T know, Bill; suppose, though. it's
w aecoun1 OF their mew-cuss membrance.n
"a "A member of the Wyoming Legislature.
s sS1ang 10 sustain point of order, ierke9
Oh Oh ms coat with Mr.. Speaker, if some
t teaaoi ,e man will hold these buds, ri
was sustained. P"inI y
A juryman was asked whether bo h.a t
Deen charged by the judge. "Well-n said
ne, the little fellow that sits up in the a
3Pu.pie ana stares over the crowd gin ma n
Lecture, out don't know whether he 8
charges any thing or not" '- Ao b
cockney tourist met Scottish lass;e
said ne, should like to Know If aII ~. n
people IN this part go barefooted :" g Part n n
~ em 90, and the rest on 'em mind tha;
Nv, business" was the rather settling 70.
a socialist remarked that the dearest hi
VIZ IN the whole world was friendship. B.
Y hereupon young man rose from amnno al,
ne audience and stated that he knew op an
eneI, dearer ship still, and that was til
ourtship. N. B.-He had once has, % %a bu
'ndant In claim for breach of promise of H.
arriage. -o"ise oi We
"A young gentlemen recently so,,d H.: thl
"a a 90 company with three young ladies', AZ ae
em. You will rob vonrsajf ,s I KIN
e OF the damsels. "Not at ALL" renlied
innocent, have three or four more
my pocket" 'iofe
Sir John Irwin was great fayorite with AZ
N rDban +aiI NJ onCe observed to vol
Ie glass of wine." "Those. - ren yed =.
win, "who SO informed your Maiestn u s;o,,
Ve done me great injustice thew sIoni9 %
re said BOTTLE" "i" 49,.
country mayor promised to attend A
eeing, ont broke his engagement. When and
j. ~ t,a. WIN ne excused himself by boy
A.:S Inat ne nao been attending another her
99InS' anu Ghen plalntlve1y added at were
idn't come, you know-can't be i'm two voic
ces; am not anephibious.n wv 81
ong faces" Barber" said farmer to kissi
tonsor, "now corn's chean. Won $500 ~ did,
shave for half price, 1Can,t H. of 1T
I = sad the man Ct razors. ought .oI III
,o,,s =, ava wAcu COrn'S Gown
aers make such long faces that, have for {
q the ground to go over.n - She
A friend of mine,n said Lord Ersk;n. ana
yarious FmathoSS. ,.u'.H 1MaSeIuiness, off hi
TO sleep, but in vain. At last his h het 20.
'ician resorted to an experiment which "e No 1oi
eeded perfectly. They dressed him in NO
atchman's coat, put lantern in his "o r. !
!, placed him in a sentry-box, and he 4 ~ ,
asleep in ten mir utes.n 70 pTa
Ny dear husband,n said a devoted who Z
why will you not leave off smoking. do for
breat,' On o1ious practice and makes sleepy
ani.. snei So. YES" he replied, they
only consider, my love, the time I know
oevoted and the money 1 have spent askin.
arning how to smoke. If 1 should the lo
on now, all that time and money will forget
oeen wasted for nothing; don't You take c
death
party OF bon UiUdnte who. RECENTLY embra
at well-known hotel, after having beauti
an immense quantity of wine, rapS Deal
ne DILL. The bill was accordinoly prayer
mt, but the amount appeared an to maj
lous to one of the companv--not will nc
so Tar gone as the rest-that he STAN throug
out ut was quite impossible 40 many when
could have been drunk bv seven kiss v,
rs. True, sir" said the landlord mother
you forget the three gentlemen under q time
ole." need n,
h.