The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-02-11
N'it ats Dutt,ur

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- Why was Eve not afraid of tn,
measles? Because she'd 'ad en-. "a.
dam.)
- Az infantry officer mentiani
twins as pair-o'pets attached to tn,
brcastworks.
"A Weastern paper describing AT
evening dress says it burst open at the
top and foains over.
"That sir, Is tho spirit OF tn,
press said Mrs. jerks, as she handed
kniPper glass Of cider.
- BE temperate in diet. Our frs,
parents ate themselves out of house
and home.
- Jones-"Poor Lucinda took thai
clrcumstance very much at heart. !,
vibbles--" Did she indeed? The dea,
girl! l wish was that circumstance. .
"A little blind boy was asked
what forgiveness wasy He replied: 1T
Is the odof that flowers breathe when
trampled upon
a lludlng to chigons, Mrs. Clever
said, "a girl now seems all head ),
yes. TIL you talk to herr" grow led
the old man.
- There is only one good substi-
tute for the endsarments OF sister
and that is the endearments of soma
other fellows sister.
- There is mar out West with
hair so red that when he goes out bs-
lore day he is taken for sunrise. and
the COCKS begin to crow.
49, HAS a man. asked q prisoner OF
magistrate, amy right 10 commit
nuisance = No. sir; not even the Nav
or Then sir, claim my liberty.
WAS arrested as a nuisance. and. az mo
one has right to commit me, 1 move
for nonsuit.'
- Little three year-old Mary was
playing very rough with the Kitten
carrying 1t by the tail. Her mother
'old her she would hurt pussy. .Why.
no, l won't, said she, lin carrying IT
by the handle :"
- Pa: Doolan. at ths battIa =,
Chancellorsville, bowed low AZ a can.
non ball which whizzed lust six incbas
above his head. sFaish said Pat one
never leoses anything by being polite
Tom, SAID girl to her sweet
nsart, You have been paying your dis
slesses 70 me long enough. 1t is time
sou make known your contentious, so
err wig
Dear me ~ exclaimed Stipo,ns
mat new surgeon, gave SouantIlm,s
BOY new lip from the childs own |
chesk what painful operation it |
must nave been = I've had a pair of |
iips taken from my cheek more than |
once, replied Mrs. Stiggins. and il |
WASH painful operation at ALL
An urchin OF seven years went
INTO harber-shop in Racine via and
OF dered the barber to cut his hair as
close as shears could do 1t. He was
hskod II his mother ordered 1t that way
NO, said he, but school commences
next week, and we've got school
ms'am that pulls hair
- A young lady was aliehtine frono
IN omnibus. when ribbon fel9 from
to the floor of the stage. ..Yon
nave lett -FOUR beau behind remarkeJ
: iauy passenger No, hayn't. hs,s
gone nshing, exclaimed the Gamsel.
- Upon a tombstone appeared tho
,oiiorIng Inscription Here i Ias
onh lug, snug as a bug In a rug., A
Nag seeing this and stone near hv
vita no inscription, wrote:-ssHera liss
'egger. ~ '"' o'her
a young man living In Lafayette
nu', 10 humility pels unified. The OH
I uay ne asked young lady If he
aisiI De allowed the privilege of 90 |
" nome with her," and was indic-
an.iy refused; whereupon he injured
cry humbly il lie might be "alIoved q
S'' on the fence and see her go by p"
"Gen:lsmen ofthe jury said a e
csterh lawyer, II don't mean 10 in
nhate that this man s a oovetous ner- r
,h' put | VIII bet five to one that If
on should bait \ steel-trsp with i
s E. lhree-csnt piece, and place it t
l'nil SIX inches of .lis mouth. Won 5
ould catch his soul. ~" 7
a White Pine landlord thus AL z
cruises his hotel In the local paner. y
ana Joseph wept aloud. and he said i
NO ms Brethren, 81 am joseph: ,lofb 4
iather yet live? "And his brethren y
is"ered him: "Yeu bet, the Oldham h
uoIng bully, for he boards at the Cos
-, is Mrs: Brown In P" inquired a
nlit man OF the servant who RESPONDS
nus ring st the door bell. HNo. sir r,
Isnot at home "Ne!I, I'm sorry y Il
ID the gentleman, in regretrul tone
owe her some money and called Pl
pay IT." Whereupon voice from
er the balustrade is heard: "OhII
IN to be sure 1 am Why Sallis, n
INT You know that? Ask the zen l
man to walk in. y Co
a Yankee one day asked hIs :
vyer how an heiress might be carried
"1ou connOt do 1t with safetv.- w
d the counsellor, ''but I'll tell Won
at you may do. Let her mount n rei
sc and hold bridicwhip; do Won 60
n mount behind her, and youaresafe be
She runs away with vou.u The Gu
4 day the lawer found that 1t was 10 to-
own daughter who had run away ali
h his Client, - ed.