davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
TERMS OF ADvER rrs,Nc.
OUGHr TO HAVE IF.-A lady rccen,l,

OuoHr TO HAVE TT.--A lady recently
arrived in New Orleans from a State
where divorces are procurable onty by
the act Of the Legislature, found herself
10 need Of that article, and went straight
to the State house Tor II. Arriving there
she s,rayed accidentally Into q committee
ON. just then occupied by gray haired
Senator. Are you the Legislature, sir p
inquired the lady. IL am member Of
it, was the polite reply. Yes, sup
pcse 80 we'll, SIR, l want divorce" re.
piled the lady, coming directly 70 the
business. "lndced Why, what kind OF
a manner Of man would want to separate
from SO handsome q lady as you are ?"
inquired TIE Senator, Strengthening up,
aud adjusting bis shirt collaE. "Oh, sir,
I've been badly treated r. cried the Isdy,
her heart evidently touched BY the Sen.
ator's sympathy; aud leaning her head
against his shoulder, she gave way to
tears. Of course the Senator tried to
quiet her lie sirokcd her hair, and evca
vcn'urcd to press his lips to her cheek.
Just then the door opened, aud several
gentlemen walked in. The Senator, real.
izing his swkward situation, cried out
"Oh, she only wants q divorce ?" II
should think she ought have ono, and
you also; but this is not the place and
the gentlemen, .excnsing themselves,
made hssty exit. The Senator, fearing
misconstruction, followed them into the
hail, crying out-"Gcntlemca, conEoand
it, she only wants divorce I" His only
satisfaction, however, consisted in the
emphatic remark Of one Of the intruders (:
+ Yes, and blamed # she oughtnt to have
il I"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

SHARP As A NEEDLE The following
bon mot was's'arssd out West. A busy
housewife was sitting in tho doorway ply
ing her edls. Her husband louugiug
on the rail, his foot slipped and bruised
his kaee on The doorstone.
Oh" said, he groaning, N have
broken the hone, I am sure"
well, then" said she holding up her
needle, with its eye broken out, 'you and
l have done very .sarly the Same thing"
"How so 2" r.i-r b.
"Why. don't you see." said ahs, II
have broken the eye Of the needle man,
snd you have broken the knee Of idle
man." sal5F .F1's %
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Administrators, Notice.

NOTICE is hereby given that letters Of admin
~ istrasion werc granted to the undersi ed
on the estate of James Alexander, Sr., deceased,
by the Clerk Of the County Court Of Lincoln
county, Missouri, on the Oath of February, 1870
All persons having claims against said estate
are required to exhibit them to the administra-
tors for allowance within one year from the da.e
Of said letters, or they may be precluded from
any benefit Of said esta,e and II not exhibited
within two years from the date Of said letters
they will be forever barred.
JULIA A. ALEXANDER, adm'x
JOSHUA lie ALEXANDER,
mch3n9 JOHN NJ. REID, administrators.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Administrative A Notice.

/ istration were g,antcd to the undersigned on
The estate Of George g. Bowen, deceased. by the
Clerk of the COuLty Court of hsncoln county,
Missouri, on the 2stk Of February, 1870.
Al persons having claims against said estate
are required to exhibit them to the administrator
for allowance wshin one year from the date of
said letters, or they may be precluded from any
benefit Of said estate and If not exhibited with
in two years from the date of said they will be
forever barred.
mch3n9p SARAH JANE BOWEN, adm x
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Adminislratrix's A Notice.

NOTICE is hereby given that letters Of admia-
~ istration were granted to the undersigned on
the estate of Abrnm Jameson, deceased, by the
Clerk of the County Court of Lincoln county.
Missouri, on the 1lth day Of March, 1870.
All persons having Claims against said estate
are required TO exhibit them to the Administrative
for allowance within one year from the date of
said letters, or they may be precluded from any
benefit of said estate; and IF not exhibited with
In two years from tho date of said letters they
will be forever barred.
MARGARET c. JAMESON, Admr'x.
mchl1nllp
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

One Of our eroecrs. . few days since,
purchased Of an Irish sonaa qssutity
Of butter, the lamps Of which, intended
for pounds, he weighed 10 the balance
and found wanting" r,t
"Sure, i,'s yer own fault If they are
light" said Biddy, IN reply to ths COM
plant Of the buyer, "for wasa'tita pound
Of soap | bought hero mes,lf that I had
10 the other cad Of the scales when
weighed 'emf"
The grocer bad nothing more to say.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Administrators A Notice.

NOTICE is hereby given that letters of admin
l istration were granted to the undersigned
on the estate Of Michael st. John, deed, on the
22d day Of February, 1870, by tie Clerk of tine
County Court Of Lincoln cOrnty, Mo.
All persons having claims against said estate
are required TO exhibit them to the admins,yatoi
for allowance within one year from the dato Gi
said letters or they may be precluded from any
benefit Of said estates and if not exhibited
within two years from the date Of said letters they
will be forever barred.
mchl7niip. JOHN SCOTT, adm'r.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Final Settlement.

THE undersigned, curator of the esia,s Of
L VIM. II. Wells, hereby notifies all persons
that he has filed just and true exhibit OF the
account between himself and said varl, on the
22d day OF February, 1870, and that he will ap-
Tly at the next May term Of tho Lincoln County
Court, 1870, To begun and held at the court house
in Troy, in said county, on the End Monday Of
said month, for leave 10 make o final ettlement
of his accounts as curator aforesaid, and for his
discharge as such curator.
mcha7 E. BONFILS, Curator.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Adm illistralOr's Notice.

NJ 0TICE Is hereby given that letters Of admin
istration were granted to the undersigned on
the estate Of Asa Hilsr, deceased, ON the l4th
day Of February, 1870, by the Clerk Of the
County Court Of Lincoln county, Missouri.
All persons having claims against said estate
are required to exhibit them to tho administra-
tor for allowance within one year from the date
Of said letters, or they may be precluded from
any benefit Of said estate, and If not exhibited
within two years from the date Of said letters
they will be forever barred.
mch24l2p RICHARD WOMMACK adm'r
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

D. G., Of Sycamore ILL.,, is . cspitsl
band At . joke. Riding in the eountry
one day be saw . sign upon a gate post
reading thus: "This farm for Sail"
Stopping his horse he hailed little old
woman who stood on tip toe hanging out
some clothes. x say madam, when ia
this farm going to sail?"
"Just NO soon, SIR" replied tho old
lady, placing her thumb on her noss, a.
snybody CONES Who eau raise the wind T.
The doct"r drove thoughtfully on.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

TO THE WORKING CLAsS.-Ws are now
prepared to furnish oil classes with constant en-
ploymen Al home, the whole Of the time or for
spare mo nents. Business new, light and pro6ta-
Bile. Persons Of either sex easily earn from 500.
to IS per evening, and proportional sum BY de-.
voting their whole time to the business. Boys and
girls earn nearly as much as men. That all who
see this notice may send their address, and test
the business, We make this unparalleled offer
To such as are no, we'll satisfied, We will send 81
to pay for the trouble OF writing. Full particu-
lasss valuable sample, which will do to com
mence work, and . copy of The Peopis's Literary
Compon'on-one Of the largest and best family
newspapers published-all sent free bP matt.
Reader, IL you want permanent. profitable work,
address Z. G. ALLEN 4 Co., Augusta, Maine.
Feb. 3--Lo6m3
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Final settlement.

NOTICE 10 hereby given to all persons inter
ssied that the undersigned, administrator Of
the estate Of A. ]. Hamilton, deceased, that he
will make anal settlement Of his administration
Of said estate at the next May term Of the Lin
coin County Court, to be begun and held 10 Troy
on Monday, the 9th day Of May, 1870.
mch24nl3 JOS. B. ALLEN, Admir-.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

Why will men be naughty and neglect
the sweets Of domestic life for the bitter
waters Of the tavern? There was Tommy
B, who, the night after the eclipse
returned to his domicil in q condition Of
pedal uncertainty that was ridiculous.
Pushing heavily against the door, it
opened, and Tommy fell sprawling across
the threshold. His prolonged, but in.
effecual efforts 10 regain an erect position
aroused his wife, in bed 10 the neat
room, who said:. "Tommy, is that you :?
What's the matter?" TO which the inc.
briated Thomas answer, "Yes, it's me !;
nothin's the matter, 'cept this ere bees
got too much honey on's wings TO g.g git
into the the-b i-v el'
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Administrators A Notice.

NJ Office is hereby given that letters of admin
istration we're granted to the undersigned on
the estate Of John jenkins. decd, by the Clerk
Of the County Cour Of Lincoln county, Mo-, on
the 2lst day Of March, 1870.
All persons having claims against said estate
arc required to present them for allowance ac-
cordng to law within one year from said date, OF
they may be precluded from any benefit of said
estate, and If not presented within two years
from said date, they will be forever barred.
0ch24nl2 JAS. D. SHELTON, Admir-.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Final Settlement.

NOTICE 10 hereby given to all persons inter-
!! ested that the undersigned, administrator Of
the estate Of Joseph B. Wells, deceased, will
make . anal settlement Of his adm inistrstioE of
said estate, at the next May term Of the Lincoln
County Court, to be begun and held in Troy on
Monday, the 9th pay of May, 1870.
meh24nl3 JOS. b. ALLEN, Admir-.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Final Settlement.

NOTICE Is hereby-siven to oil persons inter.
estsd that the undersigned, administrator Of
the estate Of Rubin Presley, deceased, will make
q 6nsl settlement Of his administration Of said
estate at the next May term Of the Lincoln
County Court, to be begun and held at Troy on
Monday, the 9th day Of May, 1870.
mch2lnl2 Jos. B. ALLEN. Admir-.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
Final settlement.

! sstsd that the undsrsigned, administrator Of
the estate Of Jsmss Smith, deceased. will make 4
anal settlement Of his sdmlnistrstion Of said
estate at the nsqt May term OF the Lincoln
County Court, to b bsgsn and held In Troy on
Monday, the 9th day o. Nay, ,s1o:
uch1lnt3. LEVI y. SMITH, Adm'y.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

A poor fellow rescued. hulf drowned,
from a river, was asked to tako some
spirits and water. mo. | thank you.s
he replied; II have had water enough sl.
ready. III take the spirits alone"
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

A lady Of certain age says the reason
an old maid is generally devoted to her
cat is, that not having husband, she nat
urally takes to the next most acherous
animal.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

be unhappy, or regret that he had taken
to wife the poor, little. half starved girl he
had found in the strcet.-Harpers Weekly
Feb. 20.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07

influence OF RAILROADS UPON THE
WEATHER.-The opinion seems to be
gaining strength that the Pacific railroad
rs working great change in the climate
Of the Plains, remarks the Boston Trav.
eller. lustead Of continuous droughts,
all along the railroad rain falls in refresh.
ing abundance. This result has bceR
remarked upon in other sections Of the
West. In Central Ohio, for example, il
is said the climate has been &C mpletely
sevolutiopzed since iron rails have formed
il net work all over that region. Instead
OF the destructive dronghts formerly
suffered there, for some four or five years
there has been .riin in abundance, even
more than enough to satisfy all the wants
of the. farmers. This change is thought to
be the result of an equilibrium, produced
in the electrical currents, which has
brought about more uniform dispcnsa.
ton Of ahe rain. 1t is fact within the
observation of all who remember ante.
railroad times, that we have now few or
no such thunderstorms as We formerly
had in New England. The iron rails,
which touch and cross eachotber in every
direction serve as conductors and equal
izcrs of the electric currents, and so pre-.
vent the terrible explosions which used
TO terrify US in, fornler years. The telc.
graphic wires which accompany the iron
rails everywhere, also act an important
part in diHusing electricity equally thro'
The atmosphere, thus preventing the oc.
currence Of severe storms.
The Lincoln County herald., 1870-04-07
IxPENs Es PER TERM OF FORTY
WEEKS.

~ EEk8s
Board, PusrL LiShts, $4,000
Tuition In Collegiate Department, 1000
Tuition In Academic Department, 5000
vuitiou In Primary Department, 1900
Lessons on Piano, 4O.00
Use Of instrument one hour per day, 1900
Drawing, 1000
French, 5000
Washing, per doseu. Is
Contingent Foe, LOO
All bills paysble half yearly In advance.
All pupils will be charged from time Of entry
till close Of Session.
The term will be divided into two sessions Of
Twenty Weeks each.
Young ladies are required to far z ssh their own
j brushes, CORDS, towels, etc., and 70 keep their
own rooms In order.
None bat young ladies received st the board
ing house.
Yousg men can find board in private families
convenient to the School, at reasonable rates.
seP2nSduS w. CHRISTIAN.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12
BOGEinE for Life.


The Peru Herald, in q puerile and long
spun-out Article, bcgs for mercy to the repub.
lican party, and frantically implores its friends
not to abandon it. Here is . specimen of its
/" reasons why:"
Besides, by giving the Democratic party con-
tfSi, We let into office new swarm OF hungry
officers who wonld steal double the amount the
Republicans would, Who are now immessursbly
gorged with the peoples money"
What confession is this of criminality,
from one Of their own papers And what a
sound "reason why" this swarm Of hungry
repubhcsns-still hungry, though snow i'm
measurably gorgsd with the peoples money"
should not be continued in office.
Another treason why" is, that when the
democracy was in power they did not put
down Mormonismw Consequently" argues
the sage advocate of gorged republican Of
ticials, "the democracy are in favor Of polyg-
amy!"
Does not the sapient logcian with the above
conclusion, "lame and impOtent though it be" "
remember that during the last ten years these
same republicans reigned in this country with
supreme authority, 50 that democrats were
hung, or summarily executed regardless of
law, merely for uttering their opinions Why
then did not these republicans, with the law,
gospel, constitution and all the bayonets and
gun powder in their hands, put down pelyg-
amys" The argument is infinitely stronger
against the republicans than the democrats,
and the conclusion much stronger that the
former arc in faver Of polygamy!
What political organization was it that Gre
ated this enormous public debt, these crush
ing and grinding taxes, and the monstrous
spy system which compels every one to keep
recond OF the potatoes he eats, and the
mouthfuls of bread his children get, and the
intolerable demands in the way of revenue re-
CURED from the people to supply the greedy
maws of these gorged' but hungry republi-
can officials, burdens so great that the poor
man is thankful if he can procure rags sutii-
cient to hide the nakedness of himself and
family, and keep his poor home from the
clutches of the tax gatherer Z The republi-
can party, who are guilty of all this, now ask
for a renewed lease of life And the Herald
is so lost to honor and decency as to beg it,
and can offer no better "reasons why" But
such is republican logic. How much longer
will the people be duped by it!
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12
A Successful Wolf Hunt.

John T. Parr, the eminent wolf.and-fox-ist, of
this county, organized wolf hunt on the 4th
inst, and, accompanied by Samuel A. Millikin
and Frank Russell, started for Black Ash
Swamp, in Brookfeld with ten thoroughbred
fox hounds, viz: "Andy,' Music" "Solo"
"Chorus," Alto" "Lee," Countess" Fam
ME-" LEX and Keenan," When nearing the
swamp the hounds howled Eureka THAT is,
they had found something. And away they
started on the trail of a wolf and in twenty min
utes his wolfship broke cover and skedaddled,
with Andy" close at his heels and the other
hounds strung out like links of bologna sausage
behind. They went west about three miles, then
turned and ran back about two miles, and again
to the river, swan across at Ballard Island, then
across into Fall River, and curving around back
ward and forward in a space of FIVE or six miles
on either side of the river for several hours, the
horsemen only occasionally getting sight of a
slow dog. and occasionally getting beyond the
sound of the dog band-of-music. Finally the
wolf and dogs passed near the residence of Mr..
Funk, above Marsellles, and that gentleman
mounted his horse and went in pursuit. The
dogs had nearly caught the wolf and Mr.. F.'s
old sorrel nag, head and tail up, had nearly
caught the dogs. On they went, excitement
running high, but none more alive than the soil.
tary horsenan in the rear and the solitary mare
he was riding. The other hunters were drawn
up in line on the south side OF the river, unable
to cross, and anxiously watching the RESULT
The wolf was brought to bay at hay.rick-
Mr. +. dismounted his foaming steed, when the
dogs set up Simultaneous howl,
"such rs erst threw down
Old Jericho substantial town.
And the old mare, thinking discretion the better
part of valor, "got up and got" as fast as her
rickety old legs would permit. The wolf uttered
a savage bark and sprang towards the circle Of
dogs, exhibiting two rows of shining teeth. Mr..
+. didn't think he liked the looks of those,' 80
he climbed up the hay-stack, got long pole,
and gave the wolf a vigorous prod with the end
Of it, whereupon The dogs throttleG the wild
"baiste and ended the proceedings. Mr.. Funk
waived "victory" to the boys over the river,
shouldered the wolf, took it home, mounted his
horse and took his trophy to Aarseilles where
he met the boys and surrendered the prize The
skin OF the wolf is icing properly stuffed by the
Messrs Gibbs of this city, and, when fixed up in
life.like naturalness, will be presented to the
Ottawa Academy of Natural Sciences.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

ure whiskey, and went partners with Delano,
and got a law passed requiring all distillers
to gauge their Oscillations by the same-pay-
Ing of course, from $3.50 for small, to 81, 600
for a large Tee The meter being useless,
distillers nave thrown them away or refused
to haul them from the railway station, and
have procureda verdict acknowledgements from
The Revenue Bureau. The government, hav-
ing plenty of -H4eHeF, has accordingly feim-
bursed the distillers; but Tice, who has also
plenty OF money, reimbursed nobody but him.
SELF Tice is a nice man. So is Delano.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

WYOMING TERRITORY, as is we'll known, has
taken the lead in giving legal sanction to the
women's rights movement by granting to the
women of that territory the right to vote
and hold office. 1t will we gratifying to many
OF her personal friends in this quarter to learn
that one Of the first ladies to receive a commits
sion in the territory was Mrs. John Morris,
formerly Of Peru, in this county. We cat the
following from the South Pass Nv. IT, News:
Mrs. f. Morris, who was recently appointed
by the Board Of County Commissioners to the
Office Of Justice of the Peace for Sweetwater
County, has also received a commission from the
acting Governor of the Territory. She continues
TO discharge the duties of the office in an efficient
and business like manner
The Office of Mrs. Justice Morris is open for
the transaction of business. Several cases have
already been brought before her judgeship and
disposed of with business like despatch.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

WuirrEMoRE, the expelled carpet-bagger,
hasreturncd to South Carolina and offered him.
self for reelection to Congress. He tells his
constituents that he is in no worse case than a
dozen OF other members of Congress, and that
all of them, with Gen. Logan at the head,
"would welcome his return" Whittcmore is
probably right, He is no worse than the rest.
But couldn't South Carolina improve little
upon the whole set by sending likely nigger
to Congress-
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

A very distressing affair occurred at Mar.
settles on Thursday of last week A little child
Of Mr. James Penn, two years old, while playing
with bit of coal, on Sunday evening, had got
some particles lodged into its threat. A phy.
stefan was called and the bits, as supposed, were
all removed. But on Thursday evening the
child was suddenly taken with fit of choking
and died before 1t could DO relieved.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

has appointed meetings of the La Sale County
Teachers Club and the La Sale County Teach
ers' Institute rs follows The former is to be
held at Wenona on the 10th inst, when o. NJ.
Tucker, Of Tonica, will drill the teachers on
Arithmetic, and W. u. Hull, of La Sale. on
Grammar In the evening Supt. Wedgewood
will deliver u lecture on some subject relating
to the interests of the schools. The La Sale
County Teachers Institute will meet at Tonica
on the 2lst Of March, AT Marseiles on tho 2Sth,
at Mendoza on the 4th of April, and at Streator
on the 18th Of April.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

The La Sale Press claims that the Oldest mason
in the country resides in tina. city. and says
"He is the father Of our present Mayor Ham.
mend, who was master mason at the age of "a,
and has been member of the the order 20 years. "
This would make "Mayor Hammond" "a years
old, and as the Press says his father is still liv.
marian. Or perhaps the Press means that the
father is the "oldest mason," &c.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

Gov. HOLDEN, of n. G., tecgraphs to his
radical friends in Washington, that nigger
Will be sent to Congress in place OF Devices.
the carpet-bagger, just kicked out. There is
sense in that. A niger OF common intel
ligcnce, or even well trained baboon, would
be an immense Improvement on the ordinary
carpet bagger or scalawag.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

Congress has appropriated $4,000 to feed the
lazy negroes who are loafng about Washington
city. These worthless creatures arc thus in
duced to flock to the city and remain there in
order to secure Radical municipal offices in the
spring. Who cares for $4,000?
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

The New York Herald relates the experience
of gas consumer in that city. One month two
burners were used, and the bill was Sc; the
next month, ono burner was used and tho bill
was much larger; the next month he used overy
burner in the house and gas stove, and the bill
u,aa onlv So
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

The editor of an Elmira paper says that "if
his memory serves him correctly, there has not
been so mild winter since 1865" The gentle
man Is evidently IN error. We remember OF
wearing mosquito bar coat and going in swim
ming in the Illinois river on the 18th of January
100. That was q mild winter, though.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

Charles Lever, tho Harry Lorrequer" of many
a novel, the Cornelius ODowd" Of Blacknood,
and the British Consul at Trieste, requires no
less than eighteen hours of sleep . day. He
writes but two hours ut time and never makes
an alteration.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-03-12

A man, who declared that he had been com.
missioned by God to save the city of Wash
ngton. called ON General Shermrn the other
day and assessed him twenty five cents to de-
fray the expenses. The money was paid and
the CITY saved.