The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1870-10-05
VOL. VII
JACK HIGGINS.
AND HOW he CAihE no BIZ MARRIED.

AND HOW he CAfhE no BE MARRIED.
1t my be funny, but I'vo done it.
Ivo got y rib and a baby. Shadows
departed -oystcr stews, brady cock.
tails, cigar boxes, boos-j 'ck-, abscond-
ing shirthuttons, Withstand demijohn
Shadows present. hoopskirts, band
boxes, ribbons, gartcrs, long stock
ings, juvenile dresses, tin trumpcts,
littlc willow chairs, cradles, bibs, su-
gar-teats: paregoric, hive syrup, ,hu-
barb, scnna, salts, sqnills, and DOCTORS
bills. Ill toll you how got caught.
| was always the darndcst, most tea-
custard bashfu! fellow you ever did
see ; it was kinder III my line to be
taken with the shakes every timo l
saw pretty gal approaching me, and
I'd cross the street any time rather
than face one twasn't because |
didn't like the critters, for il was
behind the fence looking througha "a
knothole | could not look long enough
Well my sister Lib gave party ono
night, and started sway from home
because | was too bashful to face tho
music, | hung around whstling 'Old
Dau Tucker" dancing to keep my
feet warm, watching the heads bob btng
ZIP and down behind tho window
curtains, and wishing tho laundering
party would break up 20 7 could get
to my room. smoked up bunch of
cigars, and it was getting late and
mighty uncomfortable, so | concluded
TO shin up the doorpost. No sooner
said than doue, and l. soon found my
sell snug in, bed,
"Now," says I, "lct her rip Dance
till you wind gives out.n Aud cad-
ding down under the quilts Morpheus
grabbed me.
| was dreaming of soft she'll crabs
and stewed tripe, and having good
time when somebody knocked Mt my
door and woke me up. crap again"
| laid low. crap, rap, rap'" Tncn
heard whispering, and I knew there
was whole RATS of gals outside.
Then Lib sings out.
"Jack, are you therc?"
eyes," said |.
Then came 4 roar Of laughter.
"I.et us in," said she.
81 won't," said [. Cant you let
q fellow alone p
care yot bed - said she.
81 am says I.
Then come another laugh.
By thunder! began TO get ril-
cd. -.
"Get out, You petticoated scare
crows" clied I. "Cant you get o
beau without hauling fellow out Of
bed | won't, so you may all clear
out 10
And throwing boot at the door,
felt better. But presently heard y
still small voice, very much like sister
Lih',, aad it suid
slack, you'll have to get up, for all
the sir's thugs are there"
'Oh, mercy what a pickle Think
of me, III bed, ali coTered with mulrs,
shawl ) -honaots and cloak, and twenty
girls outside%at.c door waitiugsto get
m i! If had stopped TO think, I
should have fallen on the spot.
AS it was, | rolled out among the
bounet-w ire and ribbons in a hurry.
had to dress in the dark-for there
was crack in the door, and girls
will pccp--and the way fumbled
about was death on straw hats. |
opened the door and found myself
right among Tho women.
ooh, my legborp, y cried one.
"Ny dear, darling winter velvet -
cried another, and they pitched 10
they pulled me this way aud that
boxed my ears, and one bright eyed
little piece-Sal was her name put
her arms around my heck and kissed
me right on the lips. Human nature
uould not stand that, and | gave hel
rs good as she sent. 1t was the FIRST
time ] over got tho taste, and it was
powerful good. believe I could
have kissed thasgal from Julius CassAl
to the Fourth Of July.
"J,ck," sid she, eve are sorry to
disturb you, but wont you sec me
homo 3"
eyes will" said +.
I did do it and had another smack
ut the gate.
After that, we took kinder turtle
dove 'hankoring" after each other
both of us singing like barrel of new
cider when we were away from each
other.
'Twas at the close of q glorious
summer day, the SUN was sottin Q
behind distant hen roost, bull frogs
were commencing their evening songs
and pollywogs in their native mud
puddle wero preparing themselves
for tho shades of the night, and Sal
and myself sat upon antiquatcd back.
log listening to the music Of nature
such ast treetoads, roosters and gruut.
ing pigs; and now and then the music