The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-10-27
From the Troy Times

OF n ClerGyman-Sfr Isaac Newt0r
and His Oinner-Other Queer Incl
dents
From the Troy TimeS]
Macauley remarks that absent-mind
edneSs is the mark Of either 8 genius oil
fool We think that Lord Macauley
was little too severe on one OF II:
sides A mans mind may be so In
tensely occupied with lofty Intuition;
and Inspirations that his senses seem.
ingly are scarcely awake to the reali
ties Of this tangible world.
\ Certain Scottish Professor was not
more remarkable for his writing on po-
litical economy than for his frequent
Inconsistencies OF what passed before
him. His absence OF mid was 50 re
markable that his wife once wagered
that she would accost him in the street,
inquire after the health OF herself and
family, and that be would not recog
nize her. She actually won the wager.
The Professor was once taking a soli-
tary walk on the banks of canal, into
which, in his abstraction, he walked.
When within a yard OF the centre, an
honest woman washing clothes behind
him hawiei out: Come cot, come
cot, iuie body, or ven droont These
warning sounds invading the I'm
parUm Of his professional ear, had the
effect of making him turn right about
and forthwith recover the dry land. The
good woman, concluding him to be an
IDIOT, alphabetically exclaimed "Puir
body, atweei they haze muckle TO an
swer for that lets We gang yer lane.
\ friend tells the following amusing
instance OF absence of mind: Ny
grandfather was returning home one
evening from tie bayfield,, driving his
oxen before load Of hay He had
tied an old mare, which he had been
using, 10 the cart behind; but happen
ing to think of one OF her fayonte
tricks Of pulling, he united her again,
and mounting her rode astriie, still
driving the oxen. He fell into . de. p
revery. as vas his won't, in which
halkv mares and al other vexatious
sublunary matters were banihet from
his mind. But this serene state was
suddenly broken up by his happening
TO think. when near home, that, lie had,
when starting from the field, tied that
unrulv beast TO the cart behind En-
iirely forgetting the precaution be had
s!terward taken, he whirled about only
10 discover that she was missing from
the place; and, supposing she had
pulled loose. he rode back al full gal
iop in search OF the vixen. In the
course o: half mile he met one Of his
nei,htors. suffering fellow, 10 whom
ne called out to know if he had seen
ANYTHING OF hex. Before the man had
snrmouutei his tits tPerhaps from
comical expression on his facel. the
whole truth flashed into my grandfath-
ers mind. and he turned hack at full
speei. without waiting for reply TO his
INQUIRY. only exclaiming: Let her
20: lii look her up. But it was too
late 70. him TO save himself, and his
neighbors in the old Vermont village
never suffered the story 10 be forgotten
q long a. lie lived there.
We knew of a Young fellow employ
ed in a store in River street, who was
one dav sent INTO the cellar 10 draw a
gallon Of sperm oil While waiting, he
snatehed up a piece OF chalk, and in a
minute was absorbed in sketching the
proprietor's profile. The profile on the
hogsheai was capital, but while the
vo1ng artist was absorbed in its pursuit
the oil pursued its way over the cellar
floor. He was informed he would not
DO for a merchant but just now he Is
a tirstrate New York artist.
The following tories are tod Of the
Observation-Disclosures OF a clergyman OF
the Church of Scotland: He married
rather late in life. and the marriage
tour was on the continent. At one o;
the halting places, Mrs. - retired TO
the hymeneal bower in advance OF her
lord. who sat Tor a time cogltatlng
down stairs. Presently he came 10
himself, and summoning the waiter, re-
ouested 10 be shown 10 his bed room.
lie WAS OF coarse shown to the room TO
which his wife had already retired.
But he had forgot all about matrImony
and what it involved, and recoiling from
the doorway with horror, turned upon
the waiter with angry upbrsiding for
showing him 10 a bedroom already &C,
cpD;ad by a woman One SUNDAY morn
inc he was dressing in his bedroom on
a chair in which lay a tray con-
tanning half dozen shirts,
s,arched with fitting clerical stuff
ness He progressed leisurely in his
dressing till he came to attempt iasien'
ING hi waistcoat, when he found that
OPERATION impossible After many In
sffectual struggles, he called his wife to
his aid. who likewise found the waist
coat a difficulty insurmountable. She
was a, a loss TO explain the phenom
enon, till she happened TO cast her eye
on the shirt tray. 1t was empty. The
minister. in his absence Of mind, had
NM sn the whole half-dozen shirts, one
on top OF another, and it was no wonder
that his waistcoat would not button
I'm another occasion he and his wife
were under invitation TO dine at the
mansion of the Laird Of the parish
The minister had been out for Ions
DAYS work. and when he came home, s
little late. he found his mistress already
i-essed and waiting. He at once weH'
mn stairs to make his toilet, with stric
iniunctions from his good lady 10 b
o1ick. He was 30 slow, however, tina
.he got impatient, and went TO see wha
The cause of the delay Enterln!