Saint Mary's beacon., 1870-11-17
THE BRITISH BABY.

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What grand old institution Is that o.
the British baby. although it is BY nj
means an insular institution, but is sup
posed to have had its rise originally some.
. where in Mesopotamia. Either the ID lgh
ing or the weeping philosopher might d.
a great deal of business with the British
baby. The old Thracian philosopher,
used to cry when they were born and Il
, laugh when they died but we Christian.
may blend our smiles and our tears. W.
laugh over it; we joke about it. There
is something comic in the whole affair
but, nevertheless, there is q serious, more
serious, most serious e)eulent Of tse <ase.
Il is blessed fact that the young Bril-
ish mother can only have one first baby.
That first baby is her fetish. The guam
tity ofthings purchased months and months
beforehand for the unconscious Neogilus
is beyond all conscience. The little limbs
must be swathed in lawn, and the pillow
consist of elder. The ruling principle OF
the expenditure seems to be that every
thing should be as expensive as possible.
and, so far as may be, entirely useless
Comes the doctor. sleek and smiling, watch
in hand, and with the head Of his per-
chloride of formilc, vulgo chloroform,
emerging from the breast-pocket of his
coat thanks 10 her gracious Majesty, who
has set her suffering sex the example of
not suffering more than they are obliged
Comes the matron, sister, or cousin, who
assumes the charge wears the keys, Sc
cures the plate basket. and makes her iu-
itiatory experiments in housekeeping
Pater:amiles sometimes tries on the house
keeping and, generally, speaking, makes
an utter mess of it. Comes Mrs. Camp,
with the inevitable umbrella and the pre-
vailing taste for strong waters; but pro-
test against all nurses being included in
the Camp species, for some are kind.
thoughtful. Christianly souls enough
Then the British baby lords it over all,
unconscious of its sovereignty. The Brit
ish father and husband is wholesomely
awoke to sense of his true insignifcance.
lie has his base uses, in the low way of
paying bills, and the British baby gener-
ally stands man in a twcnty-pound note.
and is cheap at that. He is therefore still
to be fed, though his nourishmcnt is mi
nor point to that of the baby; but he
may eat chop on the staircase or take a
cut Of cold mutton on the sideboard. II
is to be remarked, however, that this is
the time for igh revels below stairs. and
exaggerated household bills in the kitch-
en-, and almost the first use that the mis-
tress makes of recovered health and
strength is to deal out monthly warnings
Comes the sympa.hizing lady-friends and
the good old souls who slip half-crowns
into the nurses hands to see the red mons
frosty. as if it were some lusus nature
from Cochin China. Comes the inevita-
bic poke in the sensitive ribs, and the fe-
rocious grasp of the hand, aud the absurd
allusion Ia your chances of prize at the
forthcoming baby-show. Comes a pre-
vailing atmosphere of caudle, and bit of
basketwork done up with spangles, called
berccaunctte. and long voluminous robes
and cloaks of deep flaming color Come
your friends and neighbors, making their
inquiries. and dealing out pasteboard, for
which the good wife will deal out hers in
return, with thanks for the honor of kind
inquiries. And reposing in state in the
midst, as If she had achieved some men,
orable action without parallel within liv-
ing memory, is the good wife herself, hav-
ing discharged duty to the State, or rath-
er, dropping levity. let us say with Ke-
ble's beautiful muse, that She
L. r.sh
Like resising flower when storms are hushed
on high"
That wonderful British baby. But rs
| said before, it 50 fortunately happens
that every baby cannot be the first baby.
But it is n singular matter of fact that the
first baby has always got such fine eyes,
and dimpled cheeks, and is the very i'm
age of his father, and has such an intel
lectual forehead. All babies are so pref
ty that it becomes an astonishment how
men and women should ever grow up ugly
As the babies come on fast. perhaps the
mother reluctantly acknowledges that ev-
cry egg is not swans egg. Perhaps.
good soul, she also admits that endless
iinerics are not absolute necessities for the
baby. Aud am bound to admit that
women are very good to each other at
these times. and manifest an immense 10.
of sincere sympathy. One will take off
the other children, who, hearing that
| they have got new brother, insist that
he shall come down and play ut skipping
rope with them and another will send all
manner of colored worked shoes and an
other viii insist ON providing beef-sea or
calves-foot jelly after her own peculiar re-
cipe; and another will take her book and her
work and sit beside the invalid for hours
and another win send grapes and flowers.
and so on through the whole gamut of
kind neighborly Offices.
Then the British baby has to be regis
tered and christened, and as the unsyr-
paihizing law exacts fine in case of non-
registration. the latter point is of impor-
tanee. The church registers were kept so
badly thaat the State insisted on having a
registration of its own. Those who care
more for Church than State make the psr-
son note the date of birth-an entry which
gives them double legal note of birth.
The choosing of names, the choosing of
godfa'hers and godmoshers, are dificul-
ties that encompass the unconscious babe.
The business of sponsorship is very Sc
eus matter. Ii Is simpliked by the rule
that permits parents to be sponsors: but
for ail that. parents generally prefer the
three sponsors among outsiders. II is :
d'fhcuis thing 10 ask people. The mod
crn ida that has incrusted the eorles;as-