, 1870-08-28
T1T-BITs.
The heated te1m-"H:-Il!n

The heated te1rn-"H-N!r
!. .,.a an India Indiana psper SAYS IT. hopes ha.
"A New Haven editor recently wrote 4
elaborate article abont his 4tl,no ,Naker, bu
as ''Alum Water" 1>'
y long g-continued drought in Now Eps
land recalls ths history OF minister of Nj
Hampshire, who prayed for rain in this fasl
ion: 20 Lord, We pray for rain. Not . @ te,,
IN. drivin rain, sneh al harrers IN the face a
Iatur, Int drizZlill', sozzliu' rain. suci, a
sasts az Day, and Pretty much al night"
-" What part Of tho chicken will you take
ia piaes W'ne" ucaa,, Wlng, rg II yoa please, III
want that myself: besides. only ancaIs E.1
"!ngs. Indeed! then sou had be,ter j.ei,
1eSs.' ~ 9'''' e@'
| An unfortunate listener bess for soous on,
TO insent M "noiselcss laud-ozga1,."
-nicAens used to accuse people who crit
HEY NJ gana5 wa1stcoats, Of interfering viii
| - Mothers used 10 provide switches IN,
/ thc1T daughters from the nearest bush nov
re daughters get their own awitclea fron
Mr.. sumner is reported to have remarked
sGa' 'he unlty OF feeling manifested by the
sfaMtee t";hs is truly Eng Chang ting spec.
,-fouhg Gentleman Aw! Miss Cayan1;sb
&C you ks!oH theS 've had juvenile party bt,.
fofe the haE: Mss C. Oh. then 1 SUPPOSE
S".u s,'. mamma is letting sou stop little later
thie evening"
,-raton Raries has magnetic sprinr ii,
cAaiSsd With elsetricit; that mln, after
drinking quantity Of the water, went into =
h!1clslaith e1op. and. whils talking With III Tia =
blacssml.A, aat down On the anvil. When he
got mp, the anvil stuck fast to him. and hs md
to h5Te it amputa1ed.
III postage on papers il reduced tof one
sent now. >"~@e - 0o'
;, Two twin brothers, in Boston, arc s.il to
Do 20 much slike that ttey frcquantiS bor-
row n9rer Of each other without knowing It,
WY IL large carpet like tie late rebcll-
lon: because it took such lot OF tar to
"a Michigan boarding house keeper call,
yon Lazy ,sdez, breakfast hss got to be got,
and somebody has got to set up aud get it,"
Why il an empty champagne bottle like
au o1phan9 because it has loat it's pop"
-A New Yorker ia said to have imported
two thousand dollars worth Of Irish sv.i-
aows-.probah1y meaning peat whi key.
A pre4char It Naushaza, Wisconsin, hss
been discharged for being personal to his
hearess. He said: "1f you should take
barrel and ~ ~ it With the Holy Ghost, .nd an
@AA
congregation up and let you t1ke your cho1ce,
tho whisle. would be gone first. ""
-Iha following, from the Cincinnati En-
qH'reTs taahion'a Fanc,es, by On1 Lady
Reporter" foreshadowp wlat We 1nsy exuact
Wnen a the women =. shali run the newspapers.
voted Hia hzs changed his business Is well
as his abode to New York. Judging from tho
nan. appeals to the penny post, the ieat
whlte-"!nEed messs ngssa come often to cheer
her lonely haurs."
"A bachelor on Twenty ty-aevensh street had
medicine The doctor inquired into bis case
=, ai'd "rete prescription in Latin, ohich the
bachelor took to drug store. Translated shs
prescription read. 'Seventeen yanls Of si,k.
With ) nonan in H. Ths bachelor proposed
to = lady that evening, and Was married in
two weeks.
lie woman question-"Can you Let me-
bare twenty dollars this morning." Tho man
question" What did you do With that dollar
gaze you last week p
Johnny was watching lila mother vhilo
wreathing her head whh the 1ovely or.ueo
he saul. how sweet that il Yon just look
AZ II pa WAS dead, and you wore going to be
married over again."
Why IL an Italian exile returning to his
native lard, IKE man going to 400 his son
sec his own sonny cline.
Frugal landla1y 6f boarding house. "Ccm-
irg home fO dulEer. Mr. DrOvn3' UexrtY
hoarler: "Well, p't'aps. II don't feel
hungry"
TO wbas e1tremitics the condr1ue, pun
ster III sometimes urivt n. may be seen by the
fosiosing: Consider the house structure
CONSIDER the house shelter: consido. tho
tho Hou4atcnic!
I5uEenifs e.gssacss aad maternal solici-
liuea:
"MH.tder- may Fchwiuu,n weu,.~
NIX, my ctussa doitcr;
1nSt tH!cc Mofe is foOfty cent.
Das Jou get drowned ii the yo,te-~
,.i., -, * member who you are talking to. SIR"
-. IN tons 'ssteE. sir!" ..WslI. AMI VIZ; =
faint me :" ''oo6 1iaFe1t'nence;
49,. - lata Eali Of Eg.inton e1rress,v ,,xh,,.
hoss 70 ei1fnh tho trees in his Eroun,|s s'tosus s
noss hau violated tlf, 1ufuncti,n =, ,ehio
tnrrritea hy the Earl They esnt41re,I aaa ~ oese
detection, assembled to the topmost be.ellInd b5S elnda
Of tree. The Earl discovered him, anti1Hsa and Hsa
sired him to come dorm. The boy gaid la
fcxrod hc would hurt him. "Upon nv hon.
sil eeme down." aRa5 afaa. hs55 IT yoa L You
zaesn by yer hcnor." SAID tho bar ~:..t voa
you say a sure sa doath, ri come do1,.a ~ L
:otuo time about his piece to Sheridan, ~sla6
.sir. i fsaz ILavs tueu iu.rudin1 On
tteet.on MOT at MI, I ass,ire xoi, 70
lied Sheridan, " was thinking Of something
lse."
=" Dad, have you beeu to the museums"
sked = l6-Scar old boy "So, my son-"
We'll. 50, and mention my name to tn eIoor-
eeper, and he'il take you round and show
on everything"
mother haat--the horses Of FErbus. -. Re-
ulis OF silver stock-l. The dream il ore-
}. Never mined. Politicians rIalt-se'
Weed. In France tho Matseillaise hss 70
:orne the national Him shie in iF'its,a,
3sma1k is decidedly the national Ile51. I,.,a.3
, bathing shoa 10 1T thr 0nier-tos It Lepg
,raucl, =. "A c.l. brate4 English p5otseaor "
peraltlry ia nov It I.ouE Branch, ssutytnE tic
rests of tie waves. !. :. The Aldermen to their
The Gauiots relates al auccdote which
yiu receive the proper Interpretation from tho
utellixent reader, Don Sanchez King Of CA4-
lie, made journey to Rome, = species Of
'ious pilgrimage. which 80 delighted the then
ncumbent Of tie chair OF ST. letter, that he
onferrctl upon his royal visitor tho title Of
ing OF Egypt. the eonsissory applAuding with
,uch enthusiasm the proclamation. Hearing
le noise the Prince demanded to know tho
Ruae, and NAB informed By his interpreter
hat the Holy Father had appointed him to the
ratofuI," semarked tho Spsniazlr g1avoly7
60 70 the Holy Father at once aud proclaim
i'm Csliph OF H.gdad.'
"A clergyman III q certain town in Wassl-
husetts, having occasion to cali in the Bcr-
ices Of q brother rlinieter, rendered to him
t the close OF the dat the ueual fee for
which, in those days ut was be-
orc tie war), WAS ten dollars. Such cum
OF such work vas then thought good pays
mt On tLis occasion tue man seemed slow to
axe it. and finalir salo. while putting it in
lis poeles-book: II talked to the sunday
!cne conversation with au lElpenitcns sinner
on the steps Of tho church, and thought
ify cents more rou!d X dIoI TiSM-"
~ gentleman III Paris restaurant calls
he Garcon: See here, boy. send me- the
COX "Yes, bir. here he is." "Look here,
III, I have fouEl Ibis hair in my SOUP" Dut,
Mousi:nt will observe that I ana entirely bald
s&e for Yourself "What: you scounjref,
10 ycu dare ecud mo strange Lair in my
oup:"
-. Bob, is your eater at homef' t.Tess
Because sle said =he VA. going to hsve ono
uote tuess of 0nioEs il sLe never got another
,eau.
Prince Leopold OF De~*nu.
Old Prince Leopold Of De=sau was Qua Of
lie Doet e1traordinarT men Of any age He
siIits.v tsct;ee. "I1.c sol.c1y Of everJ civil
zea coEnt1r still receives from this nan. on
he parade-Eelde and ta.t!e-6elds, its word Of
cnms msnd. Out Of his rough hea1 proceeded
te essential Of all that the iununetshle Drill
sergesIts in Esrious languages repeat and Gu
'orce.'
Leopold. in early routh, fell deeply in love