Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1870-06-03

General Items.
bookkeeping Is taught in the Ir-
dianopolis public schools.
Tho old style sensible gingham
sun-bonnet Is TO be all the rage this
summer ut the watering places.
That old lady who has never
seen the cars, was living in Chester
county, Pennsylvania, last week.
In an old Boston tavern the fol-
lowing notice was posted: "Gentle.
men learning to spell will please use
yesterdays paper"
"A lad named Grown was Killed
last week, at Dover, New Hamshire,
while playing base ball, the ball
striking his head. r- .ss a... ...
Josh Billings says that "The
lion and the lamb may possibly lay
down together for a fu minits, but
when the lion gets up, the lamb will
be missing" D.
/ An exchange, which wishes to
avoid slang, delicately advises Its be-
ligerent neighbor to "imitate the ex-
ample of the rivulet In time of a
drouth."
An old gentleman living In the
suburbs, never has green peas for
dinner, without remembering the
poor in sending the pods to tho or
phan asylum.
A clergyman of Putnam, Conn,
recently married a couple on the cara,
without the other passengers having
any knowledge or suspicion of the
transaction.
| The model husband lives I'm
Lewiston, Me. He takes the baby
with its nursing bottle to his place OF
business, leaving his invalid wife to
take her ease at home. ri"
"A poet wrote of his departed
love: ave will hallow her grave
with our tears" but the wicked
printer set 1t up, ave will harrow
her grave with our steers"
Rev. Henry Ward Beccher says
that instead of greeting each other
with kiss, as Paul advised, people
act rs IL the command read, "Greet
the brethren with holy kick"
! The Cleveland Herald thinks
the marriage service should be
changed to read, "Who dares take
this woman?'' And the groom shall
answer, "I dare" Shame on the
man!
"A Troy lady Is said 10 he so deaf
that during a salute of twenty -one
guns from the arsenal she was OBJ
served to start and listen as the last
gun was fired, and then exclaimed.
"Come in."
In Deleware, where white
Mems parties" and whipping
posts" abound, the school trustees
acknowledge that one.third of the
entire population are unable to read
and write.
"A Terre Haute girl perpetratcs
the following cxcruciating bit Of
poetry:
| Since OF your love was bereft
| I've lost some ninety pounds la haft,
| And now have scarcely ninety left
| iiow could Yen be so cruel, JohnY
A wealthy citizen of Madison
county, ILL.,, whose daughter--a
widow with two children--had bsen
for some time supported by the coun-
ty, was sued recently, and The full
amount paid by the authorities was
recovered. ....~
"A tall gawky, slab sided, red
faced, slow.spoken specimen of the
country genius. homo, entered the
magnificent Silver Palace dining car,
"St. Nicholas" recently, and In
quired, after looking about for some
time, of Conductor Bennett, as
this second class car, Mister ?us-
Council Bluffs Times. .... ......
Omaha has man who lives with
his family I'm one of the large iron
tubes used In the construction of the
bridge. He was toe poor to buy or
rent even the humblest frame cabin,
SO be adopted this singular expcdi-
ent. He has constructed neat stone
fire. place In his house, and here the
wife and two children manage to-
live and get their frugal meals.
The Washington Press says: "A
woman Of this place showed her
rights one day last week, by rush
ing into a saloon aud dashing down
the glass Of beer which her guzzling
lord bad just raised to his lips, and,
with lightning in her eyes, she deficd
the hoy To give him another glass,
and challenged hubby to drink an-
other. He didn't accept, and soon
left, sadder and madder man"
An editor who has been married
about year, speaking of babies,
says: "The delight Of days, the tor
ment of nights elegant In full dress,
but horrible In dishabille; beautiful
on the smile, but maddeniBg on the
yell; eSqusitely in place In the nur-
: sery, but awfplly out or place In the
parlor or railway carriage; the well
spring Of delight, and the recipient
of unlimited spankings; the glory Of
pa and the Happiness of 'ma'-yho
wouldn't have .eme"
AT Columbus. o., lives a Mr.. H.,
who has reputation for the gift nr
prayer. During u rivivai I'm the
church to which he belongs, lie set
In for special effort. when the pas
tor suddenly remembered that at
that hour, y o'clock, be had promis-
ed TO marry couple two squares off,
He ventured To leave the church, Sec
ing that Brother IL. had set in for
regular "wrestle,n and actually went
two blocks, married the couple, ard
got hack just i'm time to hear Brother
HIS FINALLY o Lordp
Two young men-brothers-
ing by themselves I'm Santa Clara
county, California. working the same
farm DWELLING in tLa ea,na bc..a