The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-03-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
BAwL DREssEs-Baby clothes.
POLISH GKNTLEMEN-Boot

THE best flowers for winter wear
Furze.
How to fire and fall back-get a gun
that kicks.
EVERY bird pleases us with its lay
the hen.
THE foundry for casting shadows is To-
Gated in the sun.
No farmer can pillow a field by turning
it over in his own mind.
SANTIAGO being Chill town, ought to
be nice burg.
THE most impetuous people in the
world-The Rush-ons.
HINT to a Lover-To succeed as a suit
or, you must suit her well.
EVERY Director is interested in the
success of the Washington Life of New
York.
DINNER for nothing is very good fun;
but you can't say as much of nothing for
dinner.
DEPREDATIoNs on the males-search-
ing husbands pockets while they are
sleeping.
FOND MAMMA" And what would
Johnny do if poor mamma were to die ?"
Johnny" Eat up all the sugar. "-Judy.
THE story of man who had a nose so
large that he couldn't blow it without the
use of gunpowder is said to be hoax.
A LEWISTON man says that if ever he
builds house he will have folding doors
-"they're so handy in case of a funeral p
THE Esquimaux say: "a man who
has three wives in this world is sure of
heaven in the next" He ought to find
peace somewhere.
A BosToN writer, in abiding to the
musical taste of the Hub, says: "Our
ears have been cultivated till they over
shadow our other organs"
THE Washington Life-its growth has
been steady, its success marked, its sys-
tenn of business pre-eminently adapted to
benefit the policy holders.
WHAT bird is that which is absolutely
necessary that we should have at our din
ner, and yet need neither be cooked nor
served up? a swallow.
WHAT is that word in the English Ian
guage, of one syllable, which, if two let
tiers be taken from it, becomes word OF
two syllables Plague (Ague).
ALL the business houses at Sitka
Alaska, have succeeded in getting in their
ice and the crop is said to be very fine
almost quarter ola mile thick.-Detr0ii
Free Press.
HORACE WALPoLE tells story of o
Lord Mayor of London in his time, who
having heard that a friend had the small
pox twice, and died of it, asked if he dice
the first time or the second.
GOOD house carpenters are very particu
lar to have nice sharp tools. This is hal
the secret of their close work and popu
larity. Many farmers would accomplish
more and easier by better tools.
| A TAVERN boaster the other day, vaunt
ing his knowledge of the world, was asked
by wag at his elbow if he had been il
Algebra. "Oh yes" said he, II onc
passed through it on top of stage"
TEACHER-"Boy at the foot of the class
spell admittance." Boy" Admittance
admittanoe." Teacher" Give the defini
ton" Boy" Fifty cents, children hal
price; front seats reserved for the ladies.
The entire alphabet is found in thes
four lines. They form a pleasant stanz
for child to learn:
God gives the grazing OK his meat
| He quickly hears the sleeps low cry;
| But man, who tastes His finest wheat,
Should JOY TO lift His praises high.
A COUPLE of countrymen having vlstet
London for the first time, on getting on
of the stage coach in the center of TIN
city, they gazed around for some time il
silence. At length one said to the other
81 VOW, Jim, never see the beat of thi
afore-did you? The roads is all fences
in with houses!"
A PROMISING young shaver Of five o
six years was reading his lesson at schoc
one day, in the deliberate manner 70
which urchins of that age are somewha
remarkable. AS he proceeded with hi
task he came upon the passage, keep tn
tongue from evil and thy lips from guile.
Master Hopeful drawled out, =" Keep-th
tongue from - evil -and-thy-lips-
from-girls."
A WESTERN undertaken sent the follow
ing entertaining note to sick man
"Dear S;r.-Having positive proof tina
you are rapidly approaching deaths gate
| have therefore thought it not impruden
to call your attention to the inclosed &C
vertisement of my abundant stock {
ready made collins, and desire to max
the suggestion that you signify to you
friends wish for the purchase Of you
burial outfit at my establishment"
A YOUNG lawyer obtained divorce fc
pretty and wealthy client He sent in
bill for $1,000. The next day the lad
called on him, and inquired if he was
earnest in proposing to her. "PrOposs [
you, Madami l did't propose to YOU" r
piled the astonished attorney. "Wel
you asked for my fortune, and l though
you would have the grace to take me wit
, it," was the calm reply. The lawy,
wilted.
A LONDON paper recently hurt the fee
F., ings of an artist by saying that his pictul
had "too much ochre in it," AS II
painting was a twilight scene, partial
grey IN color, the artist saw chance
read the critic a lesson, which he did /
advising him to learn something abOl
colors before he undertook art criticism
| "There was no Ochre whatever in m
picture" wrote the indignant artist. I'll
critic, knowing that soft answer turnet
e away wrath, replied that the "Ochre" /
$ meant was medi-ochre.
AN anecdote is told Of distinguish
,, bald-headed man who was not very quiC
: at repartee. A lady who was joking hi
about the white bare spot so much Lii
the Arctic regions, on his poll, suggestC
that he should be sure AMI attend the b
dOpera which was soon to come off, al
made other remarks quite as unpleasal
to a sensitive man. With a sigh, an
looking directly at her, he said, M
dear lady, it is much better to be bal
,, than empty" ooh, yes" she quick
responded, "you are correct; but no
: uncomfortable to be both -
D THE famous tunnel under the Than,
l was made forty years ago, in spite Of il
1 Vulnerable difficulties, and an overwheln
: ing expense. Chalk and gravel are
!; penetrable to water that it is almost in
Y possible to tunnel through them and I'll
e attempt, though successful, has hither
2 been warning rather than an encou
s agement to succeeding engineers. I'll
n careful geological survey of this r
t gion has proved that little higher up
S bed of this impervious London ella
!, through which no water would percolat
l Mr.. p. III. Barlow projected a tunn
:, through this clay, and it was begun Il
| 9th nf nri1 onJ O,, Tho OIL, &c no&ol~