The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-09-22
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
Through Five Houses.

Tt was beautiful summer evening, and Mrs
Smith, wife of the dry goods merchant IN the
little town of B, thought it would do her
good to take short stroll and make q call upon
one of her neighbors. Accordingly she put on
her sun bonnet, locked up the house, and ran
in" to neighbor Jones, just across the way
And there she heard piece of news
"They do say that our new minister's wife
isn't Just the person she ought to be, for the
place" said Mrs. Jones, rocking to and fro in
her own easy-chair and knitting all the while
ga little fighty, dressing kind of thing, with
her hair all hanging in curls over her shoulders
and wearing gypsy hat over them curls, Mrs
Smith! She draws, and she paints, and she
plays the pianner, and she works on all kinds
of embroidery patterns. But han't heerd OF
her making the minister single shirt since she
come here, Mrs Smith! And Tll bet his stock
ings are full of holes, if the sober truth was
known about them. That amt the kind OF
woman minister wants for wife, Mrs. Smith
He wants woman that has some sense and
some mind. And between you and me, she
hasn't got any! Only don't you ever go and
sav that said so, Mrs Smith,
Oh, dear, no! Mrs Smith would never men
ton it, for the whole world! And what pity
it was And she must say good-by now, and
GO and call on Mrs. Brown, and get her receipt
for making soda biscuits.
So to Mrs. Brown was related under solemn
vow of secrecy, the terrible tale of the minis
ter's fighty wife.
SShe is all the time a painting, and singing,
and playing on the pianner, Mrs Brown, and
that peer dear mans shirts are never properly
looked after; and she has embroidered every
pattern in the mliner's shop, but his stockings
are one perfect mass of holes, and he has to
wear boots on purpose to hide them; and she
curls her hair, Mrs. Brown; and between you
and me, though you mustn't say that ever said
SO, they do say that her mind isn't very strong.
Isn't it pity that such nice man has got
such wife? wonder he lives with her as
patiently as he does. It's enough to make him
go out of bis mind too, as far as she has gone
isn't it, now, Mrs. Brown?"
Mrs. Brown assented, with round eyes OF
wonder And after Mrs. Smith had gone home,
the street and see if her cousin by marriage,
Mrs. Green, had heard the news.
isn't it shame, cousin Green?" she asked,
as soon as she was comfortably seated by the
parlor window. There's the minister's wife
painting her cheeks, and curling her hair, and
playing all day long on the pianner, and spend
ing all his money to buy embroidery with; and
the. poor man hasn't got but one shirt to his
back and his stockings are so full of holes that
he can't ever take off his boots for fear of show
ing them. suppose she isn't to blame though,
for, between you and me and the gate post,
though you mustn't ever let out that said it,
she is Just as crazy as a loon And the minis
ter he is going the same way as fast as ever he
can, along with the trouble he has had in
watching her, and trying to make her behave
so that people wouldn't guess what allied her
1t is really awful to think of. Isuppose if they
bof1 tbo fha
have to put their heads together and send them
off to Brattleborow -.
Cousin Green did not know. But the ques-
ton was very serious one, and ought to be
discussed, if not decided, at once. So, seeing
that it was but eight o'clock when Mrs. Brown
had gone, she slipped on her shawl and ran in
to Mrs. Whites, who was, like her, a member
of the ministers church.
"Whatever are we to do now, with such
troubles coming upon us, sister White?" she
cried in deep distress. "Here's the minister's
wife gone as crazy as q coot at last, and paint
ing her cheeks, and curling her hair, and Shrek
ing. over the pianner all day long, and spending
all his salary for embroidered muslin gowns,
while he hasn't but one shirt to his back, and
one stocking to his foot, and has to sleep in his
boots. And his brain is softening, or hardening,
or something, I don't know what, with the
trouble of holding her down when she goes
into her tantrums; and they do say that the
town will have to send them both to Brattle-
boro, if the society don't take hold and help.
What do you think had better be done in such
case, sister White?"
Sister White was at loss to say. It was a
matter that demanded prayerful consideration,
she thought But they didn't have prayers, in
that house, till Deacon White came home from
the grocery at halfpast nine. So she had time
to 90 up the lane and tell her trouble to Mrs.
Gray, who had been her bosom friend for years.
"Im sure, Mrs Gray, don't know what the
Deacon will say" she sighed. "Here's the church
all going to be broken up, just as he had set it
agoing SO nicely The minister's wife has gone
crazy, and she is all painted up, with straws
stuck in her curly hair, and she's been taking
all the salary to buy silk embroidered gowns
with; and the minister hasn't shirt to his
back, or stocking or shoe to his foot, and he's
as wild as hawk with holding her when she
tries to kill herself or him. The town is going
to send them right of to Brattleboro, and l
so with them, and Lord knows 1 never ex-
pcct to see him come back alive if he does. It's
the dreadfulest thing. / ever heard of in all my
life. And what would you advise the Deacon
and me,to do, Mrs. Gray?"
History does not record the answer given by
Mrs. Gray. But it must have been forcible, and
to the point, for the whole place was in an up,
roar on following day, and the greater part
of the parishioners fully expected to see theil
minister and his wife taken away to Brattle
boro by the officers of the town, If not exactly
in chains, at least by no means clothed, and in
their right minds.
And when, after long and patient inquiry
on the part of the minister's real friends, II
was proved that his wife's hair curled naturally
and she painted pictures, and not her cheeks
and the minister bad twelve good new shirt
made by her own hand, and that she darncd his
her s'embrodery" purchases amounted only t.
one-half ward str;n of muslin that she Onl,