The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-06-25
HOME MATTERS.
PEPPER AND SALT.

10 Watts considers himself . "swindled com.
nunity"-or, at least. he is mad enough for
whole viilage-his colt did not weigh IA lbs, Is
the type had it, but 14l4 lbs, a. we wrote it.
Moe little Js, 20 slow, don't elbow" you know.
1--we came near giving that new sidewalk, in
front of Nattinger's, puff; but on close exam
NATION we find it contains but few new boards
30 We retract on that "puf'-all except the new
boards 1t may be fun for the boys to get crazy
Ion started to run around the Court House
square. or count a hundred against time bu, as
he has not thimbleful of brains, we suggest TO
the boys that he is poor subject to get fun out
of....saw several young ladies at the theatre
'toher night engaged in the dignifed occupation
OF chewing gum. Some wagged their jaws with
Vicious vigorous champ. like FESTIVE horse. 9TH
ers came down ON the tastlsss "wad' with a reck-
less don't care durn" style others, again, did
1t timidly. but enjoyed it very well, shutting
their eyes aud heaving deep and tremulous sighs,
just as if they were imagining some handsome
young IAN was kissing them in the dark 9th.
ers minced the matter, SO that unless you watch
ed them closely, you could not catch them at it
others worked at it industriously, as if their
lives depended upon it. Their grinders came
together like those of hungry porker eating
corn, and slobbers ever and anon would run down
from the corners of their mouths. and drop on TO
the door in most picturesque style-Oh we do
like to see ladies chewing gum. 1t is SO dread
fully romantic and fesrfully fascinating :. Saw
bouquet 'tother day made of tsnsy, burdock,
gypsum weed, fire weed, cookie burs, dog weed,
glass and pine shavings. A number of gentlemen
presented to the popular restaursntst. P. Tisl.r,
Esq., who feels large about it. He hasn't spoken
to the generous bouquetists since =. :. A druggist
in our city found 81 bill On the floor of his
drusgery lately. The only person who had been
in recently WAS lawyer; and the drugger went
to hunt up the ,lawyer to give him the money
Strange to say, the lawyer refused to accept it,
and it is on the druggists hands. Did you ever |?
An honest lawyer. Now come on with your
millennium. 80. Weather 20 dry about town last
week that frogs had to come up to peoples houses
and ask for . drink 80. Some days last week, the
Thermometer stood a high - IS degrees in the
shade. Dobbs kept ours in the cellar, packed in
ice, about 'thim times" 1t cost him dollar and
he didn't desire to have it melted down . The
new railroad is about to do . cash businessman
~ no more people to and from Streator to O.ta.
va free--as proof Of this, We saw q safe on the
sidewalk, in front OF the post office, marked
"Yeung. Streator." Did it come here BY mail {?
Rev. Fsther Terry has couple of tame sand
hill cranes. They stalk about his premises, march
up and down the street, fight the dogs, bite pigs
ears, and do just about as they please. They
are fully as independent, and almost as hoInely
as We are "A fellow up town has sign on q
tree. in front of his house. The sign reads
'.Don't hitch hear.n W listened but didn't hear
anything -. Dry people find it handy to drop
into Chris. Helfrichs and get glass OF beer T..
do Wilcox has the job of painting Red.
dicks new house. DO is doing all the paint.
ing in town, jus. now. -. Jo Watts sold horse
lately that gained jG lbs in four days - r. 2.
Hardin says his initials are not IF A. AS we
said last week =. Denhard's band has been re
organized. He went to Chicago one day last
week and purchased bran new set Of instru.
ments all new from Eb. to heavy tuber We
shall expect some good music from this band
Boys, sound your a" for us once Ali East
Ottawa was driven distracted, lately, because of
an alarm that prominent lawyer had gone era.
~. Everybody rushed to the river, and there
they saw the aforesaid law.ist, pants rolled up
above his knees, rummaging around among the
rocks in the river wildly foundering garden
rake. The fact was, the lawyer had seen a
large catfish summing itself in a shallow pool OF
water. Our attorney got rake and event for
the cat,the cat, alarmed at the sinister e1 press.
ion OF the lawyers counrenance, and not admir-.
ing his rake particularly, got disguised and fled,
holly pursued by the excited disciple of Black.
stone, in consequence OF which there was
lively race, and much mirth on the shore when
our legal friend returned, wet and muddy, bu.
smiliugly minus the fish, which, when last seen,
was quarter OF mile away, and rising on the
surface from deep water, .wiggled his tail at the
point of his nose, just as bad boys do when they
wish to say "No ger don't" We are request
ed to give the weather fits for being so dry Some
one mus, have told the weather to dry up" and
it has done it.-Apropos of the weather. the shrewd
observer Of the weather who prophesied severe
frost to come of about this time, has postponed
it ION account of the weather,"-it is too d
readful hot We advise the weather
prophet to ego slow" on the frost business ....
Saw Louis eagle making stone clocks, yesterday.
They are very durable aud seldom run down,
and never require winding up. Louis is making