Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-05-01
CGNNUBIALITIES.

The bulldog barks on the top of the hill,
And the lambs are skipping in glee;
But I'm sad as the dickens am
Ny gal gave the mitten to me.
All, where will I go, and what will dc?
feel like crazy bum-bee;
By thunder, III tight Ill hok any boy
That says the word HIitteTl to me!
I'm really mad-be logged If I amt!
Iswear / will kill any she;
I'll slather and slash-IT murder that gal
By thunder! she shSnt mitten me!
No, won't do that-IU spite her-I will!
III hang myself on big tree;
And then she will cry-sheu die in rernorse
For giving the mittsn TO me.
'ICan you return my love, my dearest
Julia2" Certainly, sir; do not want
it, l am sure"
A Kentucky widower advertises an auc-
ton sale of the clothing of his dead
wife.
She that marries man because he is
a good match, must not be surprised if he
turn out a lucifer.
wife his "sage hen, and She calls him
her tearing grizzly"
A man who has a scolding wife, being
asked what he did for a living, replied
that he ''kept a dollhouse.
There is but one bachelor in the Blue
Grass country, in Kentucky, the girls are
so pretty.
The belle of Way Key, Florida, is nine
teen years of age, and she is the heiress
of ten thousand head of cattle. She has
large number of admirers-of the
stock.
An important distinction-The unmar-
ried woman is rated herself. The mar
ried woman's rating falls on her hus-
band.
Thirty bachelors in Lansing, Iowa, have
sworn a solemn oath they will marry none
but widows.
A Wisconsin farmer sues for a divorce
on the ground that his wife can't chop the
amount of Wo1d that she boosted about
previous to marriage.
A young lady's letter to friend closed
''But must stop, for here comes a soph
who parts his hair in the middle, and
wears a moustsehe that pricks dreadful. "
A Dubuque husband went TO Indiana to
secure divorce from his trusting wife,
but the chills and fever shook him into
his right mind, and he went back repent
ant to ask forgiveness.
A Pittsburg wife who preferred charge
of desertion against her husband, melted
when he was brought in by policeman,
and paying the costs she withdrew
the suit and took him home.
Mayor Love, of Steubenville, Ohio, has
been sued by woman for damages pre-
Dictated upon her arrest by policeman.
The plaintiff is a single lady, and like a
| good many others in this mercenary age,
she seems to make Love pay.
Why is it natural that a young lady
having seven lovers should desire to add
another TO the list Because all ladies
wish to fasten eight (faseinate.)
A Hamburger soothed his Jealousy
of his wife by fighting due
with her. The woman did moi
survive, and a tyrannical court has
sent the husband TO prison for twenty-fiv
years. Chivalry has no show in those
European despotisms.
A lady who had been married thret
times was declaring the other evening
against second marriages, and when one
of the company reminded her of the fac
that she was living with her third hus
band, she exclaimed, "Why, bless me
l had quite forgotten it. j"
A writer in the Graphic says that "a
woman will always love the nearest maj
of suitable age, after fashion, if she ha
never seen any more attractive specimen.
of masculine humanity"
A New Jersey ex-lover has brought sui
to recover his love letters. II opens up
curious question in law as to whether the
ownership of a letter resides with it!
writer or its recipient
Touching and Irresistible was that in
vitation of the rustic maiden to he
swain: "Come over and see me; we hav
new lamp at our house, that we CA
turn down, down, down, until there ism
scarcely q bit of light in the ROOM"