The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-09-15
WIT AND HUMOR,

young man like when be pops the
question? Acquicscence.
The man who popped the question
by starlight got his swcetleart's con.
sent in twinkling.
-"Who was Davids grandmother -
asked clergyman of Sunday school
scholar. "a woman, sir" was the re-
ply,
-"Dcacon," said minister, after a
heavy sermon, I'm very tired" In
deed,' replied the deacon, 'then you'll
know how to pity us
1t is a remarkable fact that how.
ever well young ladies may be versed
in grammar, very few are enabled to
decline matrimony
--'Were you ever at Cork, Mr..
Foote:' said an Irishman to the COM
edian. mo, | never was at Cork" re.
piled the wit "but have seen a gleat
many drawings of it,
"A woman lecturer says woman's
sphere is "bounded on the north by
her husband, on the east by her baby,
on the south by her mother-in. law,
and on the west by maiden aunt"
"A good deal Of the consolation
offered in the world is about as sofa.
cling as the assurance Of the man to his
wife when she fell into the river:
You'll find glound at the bottom, my
dear
A lady talked the whole evening
to a deaf and dumb man, and told u
friend he was the most agreeable man
she had ever met. She has since
found it out, but has not changed her
opinion.
"A young professor at one Of the
colleges married lady twenty years
his senior. This was said by witty
friend TO be proof Of his ambition, as
he appeared DESTROYS Of studying 1.-THE
ancicnts."
"A man passed through Council
Bluffs, Iowa, day or two ago, on his
return to Missouri, after having tried
to live in Minnesota. Don't like it
up thar" he said. Have nine months
Of winter, and the rest Of the time it,
late in the fall.'
The passion for dress, about which
We hear just now, is nothing new. An
old satirist thus lampoons the ladies Of
his day:
/" What is the rcascn--can you GUESS
Why men are poor, and women thinner?
So much co they for dinner dress,
That nothing's left to dress ordinncr."
Two negroes, the other day, ar
guing about the creation Of the world,
one said:
DE world rests on atur;lo's back
de Bible ses So
is dat so? What does it say dat
the turtle rested on?'
Hush your mouG big niggar, yon
dis gone and broke up de argument"
--"Doy say down in Georgia dey
Nakcs poor nigga work twenty-five
hours ebbery day. Now, looicc here,
Sc been told dat dey hadn't cot no
noIe nor twenty-four hours, and I
want you, Mr.. Jonsing, to splanily how
ey make EN- work twenty. five hours"
Golly, what ignoramus nigga you is,
cipio! Why, way down deere dey
lake poor nigga get up an hour fore
aJ--dont dat make EN- twenty five"
Randlc jackson, the counsel for
he East India Company, was very
stentatious declamatory speaker, who
espiscd nil tcchnicalities and tried to
torn tho cour! by the force of clio.
ucncc. Once, when utterng these
'orls, In the Book Of Nature, my
ord, ii is written he was stopped by
lis question from the Chief Justice
Lord EIenborough), will you have
lie goodness to mention the page, sir,
you please!'
A wise old darkey in the southern
'rt Of Kentucky came to his old mas.
+ the day before the late election and
id: Mars John, wants to vote the
cmocra,ic ticket The facts think
nlggers ought to spill. up anyhow.
We goes aud votes Democrat, the
!dicals say we is ungratcIul, and then
G League fines us five dollars and
rms US. If We votes Radical, dc Ku
uX'll git us sho. l wants 10 divide
G, SO as to make it de intrust of bof
rites to treat Us kind and friendly"
"A physician was very much an.
yed by an old lady who was always
&C to accost him in the street, for the
rposc of telling over her ailments.
&C she met him when he vas in
:at hurry. "Ah, see you are quite
ble,' said the doctor. "Shut your
$ and show me your tongue" She
eyed, and The doctor, moving of, left
standing there for some time in
ridiculous position to the infinite