The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-01-20
THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 1870.
HARD WARE, ETC, AT HARRISBURG.

and lemons, but we're confronted by the cap
tions Of "hardware" and merchandise, in
addition to the inevitable and mysterious
'etc.' That lemons and sugar were con-
sumed in considerable quantity by the men,
bers during the memorable session of 1869,
we are forced to believe. The lemons, at
least, figure in the daily reports of the pro-
csedings, and nothing is more natural than
to suppose that the people of the State, who
sent the members to Harrisburg to have as
good time as they could possibly have in
squeezing the juice out of lemons and every
thing else that is juicy, were permitted to
foot the lemon bill And if the lemons, why
not the sugar? -? And il both, why not the
accessories which alone make lemons and
sugar either palatable or desirable ? We can
conceive of nothing more repugnant to the
Legislative mind than the farce of the Hon.
Sam. Josephs running across the street to a
grocery to buy, with his own money, lemon,
every time his playful fancy might prompt
him to hurl ono at the head of one of his COL
leagues. We are, therefore, forced to be-
ieye that the lemons and the sugar and the
accessories have been actually charged to the
people, and the charge swsmped out by some
such device as an entry of "hsrdware" or
merchandise"
On this theory alone can we satisfactorily
account for the presence of the hardware"
entry in the very edifying account which
was spread before our readers on Saturday
Last. A suggestion of penknives is as frivo-
lous as it is far-fetched. Penknives are not
hardware in legislative parlance, but sta
tionery, which includes not only pocket cut
lery, but suspenders, tooth-brushes, fancy
soaps, patent leather gaiters, Bologna sau-
sages, dried orange peel toothpicks, lamp
posts, hoop-skirts, and every other variety of
small ware which Mrs. Toodles would have
bid in at an auction as being a handy thing
to have in the house. Moreover the "hard-
ware" item is confined to the ac-
count of the lower house alone !;
and does anybody for q moment ina
gine that Senator has not as frequent use
for penknife or any of the other trifles
above enumerated as O member of the other
branch Of the Legislature The sum total,
too, is ridiculously small, when we remem-
ber how often members are called upon to
whittle away at a job before they can bring
the pith of it to the surface. The penknife
hypothesis would give but two knives to
each member, even supposing that an article
of this character costing but $3.50 would fiud
favor in legislative mind. The lemons and
the sugar must, therefore, be concealed from
the vulgar gaze under the disguise of ''hard-
ware" and merchandise" and we claim no
small degree of credit for having exposed
this little trick of our Lawmakers.
AS to the frequent repetition Of the term
f'eto.," there is no difficulty involved. The
merchandise" and hardware" items of the
two houses foot up total of only $222t'46
for one of the most exhaustively laborious
sessions on record Rating lemons at three
cents piece-a very low rate, we take it, for
Harrisburg entire sum would give but
46k dozen lemons during the session to each
member of the Senate and House, without
making any allowance whatever to the pastors
and folders and other lemon squeezers who
are drawn to Harrisburg by the assembling of
the Legislature. The accessories-a mild
term for somethingsquite the reverse of mild
by which the lemons were rendered palata-
BILE are therefore to be strung along under
the comprehensive 'etcs, the total being eked
out by few tons of pocket cutlery which did
not reach Harrisburg until after the stationery
account was closed. The more bulky pieces
of outlery-probably the lamp-posts and
tooth-picks-were too cumbersome to be oar
ried homo by the members themselves when
they dispersed at the end of the session, but
were sent to their different addresses by ex-
press, in which plausible way is the trihe of
$138 '85 for ''freight on goods sent to men,
bers during the recess" to be accounted for.
The suggestion that this item embraced the
expense of forwarding several cakes of per-
fumed soap to the families of each of the
members is an erroneous one, as the entire
saponaceous supply of the session was left,
according to credible authority, at Harris
burg.
The account of legislative expenses con-
tains some other items which are deserving of
comment, but none, we believe, which re-
quire explanation. Purdon, Zeigler, Smull,
and Beitel were distributed at the opening of
the session. according to the custom, entail
ing tho trifing expense Of $2614. 1t is very
essential that each old member, as well as
each new conner, should present himself with
q fresh copy of these valuable manuals as
often a. possible. They are subjected to
the very hardest sort of hard usage, especially
the 'Purdon, the pages of which containing
the definitions of and punishments inflicted
for petty and grand larceny and conspiracy to
cheat and defraud get so obscured by con-
stant thumbing as to be absolutely unintelli-
gible after few weeks. If the members
OOuld NOT have accaaa IN oJao,, oox>;.. - 4t;u