Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-04-14
The Josh Billings Papers.
THE AUNT.

The ant il a menny footed insekt.
They live about one thousand five hun
dred and fifty of them (more or less), in
the same hole in the ground and hold their
property in common.
They hav no holydays, no eight hour
sistem, nor never strike for emmy higher
wages.
They are cheerful little toilers, and hav
no malice. nor back door to their hearts.
There IL no sedentary loafers among
them, and yu never see one out NV job.
They sit up arly, 80 tew bed late, work
all the time, and eat on the run
Yu never see two ants argueing sum
| phoolish question that neither ov them
didn't understand; they don't kare whether
| the moon IL inhabited or not; nor whether
a fish weighing two pounds, put into a pail
ov water already phull, will make the pail
slop over, or weigh more.
| They ANTS hunting after the philoso-
piers stone, nor getting crazy over the
cauze ov the sudden earthquakes.
| They don't care whether Jupiter IL 80 or
\ 81 millions ov miles mp in the air, ner
whether the arth hobs around on its axes or
not, SO long az it don't bob over their korn
crib and spill their barley.
They are simple little biz2y ants, full ov
inith. working hard, living prudently, COM
hitting no sin, prazeing God by minding
their own bzzness, and dieing when their
time comes, tew make room for the next
| crop of ants.
They ARE reproach to the lazy an en-
coufagement tew the Industrious, n rebuke
few the viscious, and study tew the
christian,
| If yu want tew take lesson in arkiteck
ture, go and set down bi the side ov their
hole in the ground, and wonder how so
menny kan liv SO thick.
! If your pashunce needs consolashun,
watch the ants, and be strengthened.
If man had added tew his capacity the
pashunce and grit ov theze little atoms ov
animated natur, every mountin on the buzz
yum ov the arth would. before this, hav bin
! levelled, and every inch ov surface would
scream with fruittulness. and countless lots
ov human critters would have bin added
tew the inhabitants ov the universe, and
bin feed on korn and other sass.
! | hay sot by the hour and half down
near an ant-hill, and marvelled; hav Won
dered at their instinkts, and hay thought
how big must be the iackass who was sat
ished to beleave That even an ant, the least
ov the bugs, could hay been created, made
bzzy, and sot tew work by chance,
Oh, how do pity the individual who be-
leaves that all things here are the work ov
mn acksident He robs himself ov all plez-
cure on arth, and all right in heaven.
had rather be an ant (even humble,
handy legged, profane swearing anti than
tew look upon things ov this world az /
| nnll ba tIvn
! Ants are older than Adam.
| Man for very wize reasons) want bilt
until all other things were finished, and
pronounced good.
If man had bin first he would hay insist
ed upon bossing the rest ov the job.
He probably would hav objekted tew hay
ing emmy bizzy ants at all, and various 9TH
er obekshuns would have been offered,
equally green
am glad that man wuz the last thing
made.
II man hadn't hev bin made at all. yu
never would hav heard me find emmy fault
about it.
havnt much faith in man, not beksuse
he kant do well but bekause he won't
Ants hav bye-laws, and u constitushun.
and they mean sumthing.
Their laws aint like our laws, made with
hole in them. SO that man kan steal q
boss and ride thru them on n walk.
They don't hay emmy whisky ring, that
/ liz virtewous, simply bekauze it hooks hi
the millyun, and then legalizes its own
ackts.
They don't hev emmy Legislators that yu
kan buy, nor emmy judges, laying around
on the haff SHE'LL reddy tew be swallered
| | rather like the ants, and think now
shall sell out IN money and real estate, and
! jine them.
had rather jine them than the bulls or
| the bears, like their morals better.
The bulls and the bears handle more
money it IL true, and make CRATE deal
more noize in Wall street, one ov them
sticking his horn into 1abby piece ov
Erie tossing il up into the air, and the 9TH
er ketching it when it Gums down, and
trampling it under his paws
This may be phun for the bulls and the
bears, but it IL wuss than the cholera NOR
bus for poor Erie.
Ants never disturb Erie; yu couldn't sell
one emmy Erie, emmy more than yu could
sell one skrip on the Goldfish banks ov NJ
| Homeland.
hnls hlo Houost, hTu+IuBRlnB HUG
Apeople, but whether they marry, or Civ in
lmarriage IL beyond my strength, but If
they don't they amt no wuzz oph than
they are out west NEAR the city of Chica.
go, where they marry to-day and apply
for an inJunkshun tomorrow; and are red
dy the next day to tite it out again on sum
other line.
Wedlok out west NEAR the grato grain
mart Chcago) liz one ov them kind ov loks
| that almost emmy one kan pick.
| MAGNITUDE OF THE Ok HORN Trade
The trade in ox-horns is growing into an
| importance difficult to realize. That our