The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-04-29
Nasty.
Mr.. Nasty and his Confreres Attempt to get
Possession Of the Negro Vote in the Sixth
Ward Of New YOrk-HOW They Went
the. Result.
HARP Nv ERIN S'LooN,

HARP Nv ERIN S'LooN,
INTHE Sixth WARD, Moo YORK
April 18th, 1870.
The Moo York World, in recent is
hoo, remarkt that the Niger vote must
come to us, becoz the Dimocrisy he'd al
luz he'd success in managin the ignerent
and degradid classes. This determined
us to set about sekoorin the vote NV the
niger populashen in our ward imme-
Ijitly. Father McGrath insisted that it
be done tu-wunst, becoz the mint they
become Dimocrats the way wuz paved
for their comm under the speritooal d.
reckshen nv the Catholic Church Tim
, my MCGEE insisted that it shood be done
becoz the element, eff opposed to US,
mite be dangerous; Jimmy Organ be-
coz we he'd either to incorporate EN- in
to our ranks or kill EN-, and he didn't
believe it wood pay to raise another
riot jist now and wantid EN- attached
to our party becOz l wantid EN- in front
nv my bar regleriy.
We decided that the shoOrest way to
git at EN- wood be to git one niger in
terestid with us, who wood serve as a
decoy duck to bring in the others. We
wantid a Niger to assoshate with; to
embrace and SIGH j; to show other mig
gers that we Good and wood affilyate
with EN-. We he'd terrible time a git
tin NV it startid, however. We got one
Nv that race in my back room. and at
temptid to argOo the questions Nv the
hour with him, confident in our ability
to crush him by facts into submishen to
our doctrines, but the misable devil
pulled out Nv his pocket copy NV the
Constooshn and askt Teddy the Litter
to read and constroo sentence therein,
which finisht that pertickler effort. Ted
dy, and Patsy O'Rourke and Micky
Doolan who he'd him in hand startid
back at the site nv that book ez tho they
had been shot. The cuss Good read, and
wat Good any nv EN- do with SIGH man
We caught a sick Niger and he'd him
in tow three days. Wenussed him, and
fed him, and he'd in a doctor for him,
witch doctor give him medicine and
Dimocricy in ekal doses, all NV witch he
seeminly gulped down with ease. We
got him on the skOre Nv gratltOod, and
he went away, promisin that he wood
jine us, but the second day he came
back and laid down on the bar twenty
dollars with the remark that sum wood
pay for all the cost and trouble we he'd
been to on his account.
"Wat do you mean" sed l sternly,
sWeepin the money into the drawer,
however, to make sure NV that.
Dustin into q parOXysm Nv tears, he
remarkt that eZ low and mean Niger
ez he was he coodn't RELY jine us. 1t
wuz unfair in us, he sed, to take advan-
tage Nv his illness to put him under OBJ
ligashens to us.
E1 can't be Dimokrat," he sObbed,
claspin his hands pitiously. 81 can't,
RELY. hev gray -haired mother liv-
in, and q younger sister! L can't! L
can't! for I'm specially Connected"
And he rushed out. 1t was forchnit
for him that wuz alone at the time.
All our efforts to sekoor Ethiopian
30 30 90 20
naught, and we wuZ jist on the confines
NV despair, when one mornin JOHNNY
OShoughuessy came rushin in exclaim-
in, "I've got tive got itw
"Got wat ?" askt.
s'The niger we want. In the Poieece
Court there'r q niger up for drunken
ness, vagrancy, steelin, assault and bat
terry, and some other things, and ez he
heZn't a blasted cent, Nv course he'll be
sent up in short metre. We kin git
him shoor, eff we go about it quickly.
got the judge to hold on bit till 1
could see YOU"
To-wunst seed lite. Rushin fran
tically down to the court room,
gave myself as bail for his appear
anee, witch the judge, who is pOlitikle
friend NV mine, accepted without ques-
ton, and seezin the niger by the coat
collar, hustled him off to my place in
triumph. Tim Doolan spoke up.
"Will you," says Tim, ''ef we get
yoor dischare promise to alluZ vote the
Dim"
"Holdw SEE 1 quickly, for 1 was aferd
Tins thoughtless precipitancy mite ru-
in all, ''holdi He amt III condishen to
hev that question put to him. Wait a
minnit l understand watts required to
make convert better than you do"
| And seizin a bottle from behind the
bar put it to his lips. The niger drank
with a egernis witch gave me hope.
Teddy spoke up agin-
| "Will you promise to allez vote
"Hold !" saidI. "He hain't enough
Drink"
And the Niger emptied the bottle.
SNOW" sed /, "are you willin to
promise to allez vote the Dimocratic
tikkit-tO labor with yOor cOlOred
brethren to bring EN- into the fold Nv
| the Dimocrisy, and to do yoOr level
| best to promote the interests NV the
Dimocratic party now and forever"
The Niger, by this time crazy drunk,
(the likker wuz from my own private
would promise all this. ''Gib me some
mo- dat whiskey," he shrieked.
gave him another bottle and in fif-
| teen minnits he wuz sleepin the deep
sleep witch the tite man only knows.
In about four hours he awoke, and l
thought it time to approach him on the
| main question.
''Ceezer," remarkt, "you must COM
| mence yOOr work to mite. We shell git
up a meetin NV colored men at this
place for the purpose nv organizin a
| Colored Dimocratic Club, and you must
| address en-"
"Must indoose EN- to jine Dino
cratic Club ?" he askt.
"Cirtinly."
"Did propose to do it?
"Cirtinly," 1 replied, E'and my buck
yoo'd better keep that promise, or I'll
hev 700 back in the dock at the Poleece
| Court in jiffy."
an do it" said he, with the desper-
ate air nv one who he'd determined that
life amt worth Twin for and is prepared
for anything. "F'll do it, but must
hev likker enuf to drown my con
witch is to say, give me nerve"
"Certinly," replied, call the nkker
you want but speak you must"
The mite come and there wuz q decent
show NV niggers In the back room. But
| the speaker alas he wuz too far gone
to speek and had to dismiss EN-.
The next mornin he swOre he never
wood do it, and to get him to the pint
NV consentin l give him more hkker,
and he got drunk agin, and so on it
went all the week. The fix we wuz in
wuz suthen like this:
1. We coodentappFoscha niger who
he'd any standin or infooense.
2. When we capcherd SIGH q wun he |
wOodent hev anything to do with US |
when he wuz sober, and to hold him we |
he'd to keep him drunk.
3. When drunk enuff to stay with us
he wos to drunk to do what we Wantid. |
After squndrin on this poor wretch |
at least half barrel of ez good likker |
/ as ever soothed my shrinkin sole Wuz
compelled to hev him re-arrestid and |
sent up for year or twos / eoodent |
stand no SIGH drain on my finances, nor |
Good bear to see SO much hkker vast |
ed on niger.
The cuss took his sentence joyfuIIy. |
@It's hard, /" he sed, "but it's better than |
wat 700 peFposed. 2
This Niger question is the problem |
of the age. How it will be solved puz- |
zles me. May heaven send us wisdom. /
PETROLEUM ". Massey,
(Which WIZ Postmaster.)
AFFECTING SCENE IN COURT.-In the
New York court Of justice ; day or two |