Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-10-12
RECEPTION AT TIE PRESIDENTS.
Mark Twain faas ii. Private Gunv.r-
sasiOn at Ghe White Uauses

tr
satiOn at Ghe w hitc Hauses
After I had drifted into the White
House with the food tide of humanity that
had been washing steadily up the street
for en hotif, obeyed the orders of the
soldier at fho door and the policeman
within, and banked Iay hat and umbrella
with q colored man, who gave r:io d piece
of hSass With number upon it, and said
that that thing vetSiId produce the prop.
erty at any time of the nlgno. doubted
it, but was on unknown ground now, and
must be content to take good many
chances.
ANOTHER person told me to drop in with
the crowd and I would come to tfle Presi-
dent presently. Joined, ard; We drifted
| along until we reached a certain pd'ffnt, and
then We thinned out to double and single
file. It was a right gay scene, and a right
stirring ord lively cue; for the whole place
was brightly lighted, sud Ell down the
! great hall, as far as one could see, was 3
restless and writhing multitude of people,
the women powdered, painted, ieweled,
aud splendidly upholstered, and many Of
the men gilaed with the insignia of great
naval, military and afiil;assadorial rank 1t
was cutie heViiderin.g.
Dur long line ,cars drifting, along, and
/ by end by we came IN sight Of tke Presi-
dent and Mrs. Grant. They were stand
ng up shaking hands and trading civilities
With ettr procession I grew somewhat at
home little So fttic2 lad then began to
eel satisfied and contented. I YES setting
| to be perfectly alive with interest BY the
TINS it came NY turn t., talk with the Pres
dent. took him by e hetnd snd looked
him IN the eye, and said:
s.Voll r I ~
eraL have said as much as thousand
times, out In Nevada, that if ever 7 went
home t8 the st.tes | would Just have the
private Satisfaction oof Eofne enc saying to
you by word of mouth that thought 1ou
was considerable of sailor, anyway. Now,
you know, out there we
Turned round and said to the fellow be-
hind lie;
''Now, LOOK here IN eoqa friend, how
the nation do you SUPPOSE can tslh with
any sort Of satisfaction, with you crowd.
ing me ms wsy I en- surprised st your
II was a modest looking, creature. He
sAid:A ~ ~ = a ~
But you see the whole procession's
stopped. and they're crowding up on me-
I said: --,,c
"some people hase cot more shget. -
Just suggest to The parties behind yoi to
have some respect for the place they are
in, and not try to shove II Oh d private
conversation. What the General and me
are talking about amt of the least interest
to those.' s-z~-=,>~3E
Then resumed with the President:
-''WeH, well, welt. Now this Is fine. This
IS what call something like. Gay? Well,
I should say SO. And so this is What you
call 8 Presidential reception. I'm free to
say thet 1t lays over, anything that ever
saw out in the sage brush. / have been to
Governor Nye's Injun receptions at Honey
Lake and Carson City, many and many a
hme-he that's Senator Nye now-vou
know him, of course. 1 never saw a man
IN my life that jim Nye didn't know-and
not only that but he could tell him where
be knew him, and all about him, family in
cluded, even if 1t was forty years ago
Most remarkable man, Jim Nye-remark-
able. He can tell lie withthat purity of
accent, and that grace of utterance, and
that continuing euiotiUn-"
turned again, and said
'My friend, your conduct surprises me.
| have come three thousand miles to have
q word with the President of the United
States upon subjects with which you are
not even remotely connected; and By the
living geewhilhkins / cannot proceed with
any satisfaction on account of your cussed
crowding. Will you just please to go q
little slow, now, and not attract so much
attention by your strange conduct? If you
had any eyes you could see how the by
ISLANDERS are staring"
He said:
''But tell you, sir, it's the people be-
hind. They are just growing and surging,
and showing, and [ wish was in Jericho,
| do" E1
| ] said:
Il wish you was, myself. You might
learn some delicacy of feeling in that au-
cient seat of civilization, maybe. Drat if
| you don't need it,
| And then resumed with the President:
! Eyes, sir, I've been at receptions before,
plenty of then-old Nye's Injun recep-
tions. But they wasn't as starchy as this
by considerable. No great long strings of
| by dyers ike these galoots here, you know,
mt old, high favored Washoes Pi-utes,
each ore of them as powerful as rag fac
! ,ory on fire. Phew !! Those were halcyon
days. Yes, indeed, General, and madam,
many and many's the time, out in the wilds
of Nevada, Tvd been"
| perhaps you had better discontinue
your anna rks till another time, sir, as the
crowd behind you are growing somewhat
impatient, the PIesident said.
''Do you near that? p I said TO the fellow
behind me. Il suppose you will take that
hint, anyhow. | tell you he is milder than
[ would be-. If was President, [ would
waltz you people out OF the back door il
you came crowdipg a gentleman this way,
that I was holding a private conversation
with"
| And then L resumed with the President:
81 think that hint OF yours Will start
! them. L never saw people act so. 1t is
really about all can do to hold my ground,
with that mob showing up behind. But
don't you worry en- my account, general !;
don't give your If any uneasiness about
me; can stand il as long as they can. Eve
been through this kind of a mill before
| Why. as was just saying to you, many
and many a time, out in the wilds of Ne
vada, [ have been at Gov. Nye's TDlun re-
ceptions and between you and me that old
man was a coed deal of a Governor, take
him all round. don't know what for
Senator he makes, though | think you'll
| admit that him and Bill Stewart and Tom
Fitch take bigger average OF
brains to that Capital up yonder,
by hundred and fifty fold, than
! any other State IN America, according to
population. Now that is so. Those three
men represent only twenty or twenty FIVE
thousand people-bless you, the least little
| bit of a tri6lng ward in the city of New
4 York casts two votes to Nevadas one-and
yet these three men haven't their superiors
/ in Congress for straight-out, simon pure
brains and ability. And if you could just
have been at one of old Nye's Injun recep-
tions, and seen those savages-not high.
iiers ike these, you know, but frowsy old
/ bummers, with nothing in the world on in
! the summer time, but ga old battered
plug hat and a pair OF spectacles tell
you 1t Was a swell affair, was one OF
Governor Nye's early-day receptions.
Many and many's the time I have been
| to them, and seen him stand up and
| beam and smile on his children, as he called
them 10 his motherly way-beam on them
by the hour out OF his splendid eyes, and
| ascinate them with his handsome face. and
comfort them with his persuasive tongue
seen him stand up there and tell them
I anecdotes and lies, and quote Watts hymns
| TO them, until he just took the war spirit