The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1870-01-20
All Sorts.

u HOW TO make black Whlte-maRe ciea'
; sweep. .
The right man in the right place--a Inns
band at home in the evening.
When is a toper's nose not nose? Whel
\ 1t is little reddish ~ SeE -
i A New Haven coal dealer gives away a to1
4 Of coal with every fftieth ton thatis sold.
A western paper describing an evening
dress. says sit bursts open at the top anc
| foams over" 4r fe9
They call the girls in the Treasury Depart
ment, who scissor postal currency, Reve.
nue. cutters. - e
A young man in Lewiston, Me-, thrashed
his father, and the court fined him one cent,
thinking the old man really deserved it..
The richest colored man in Pennsylvania Is
Stephen Smith Of Philadelphia, a lumber mer-
chant. He is worth 100000.
envy Lord, !" said the foreman of q Welsh
jury when giving in the verdict, !" we find the
man who stole the mare not guilty"
Heller, the illusionist, is illusioning his
landlords and landlordesses out of his board.
He is g fell OF a Heller. esd
The spirited young lady who married a man
with large purse, and small head, must have
preferred mis- dollars to his sense.
An editor in Iowa " will not support man
for Representative who is a whisky barrel in
the morning, and barrel of whisky at night"
Hands wanted on bosoms, " is q sign on
Broadway, N, H, in front of a shirt factory.
a i, mi I'D - & IN, -
"A little sboy,,o returning from Sabbath
School said to his mother: This catechism
is to hard. Amt there any kitty-chism for
little boys?'' .tgv
The San Francisco Steam Navigation Co.,
has decided to construct q flying machine Of
sufficient cepacityto test the practicability OF
the invention.
Teacher" Peter, you are such bad boy,
that you are not fit to sit in the company of
good boys on the bench. Come up here and
sit by me, sir" 8f5a
party of one hundred armed men took
two negroes out of the jail at Richmond, KY,
a few nights ago, hung one, and.whipped the
other and sent him back to jail.
An Irish absentee is said to have sent this
comforting message to his steward: "Telll
the tenants that no threats to shoot you will
terrify me-"
Some of the Kansas buffaloes are so tame
that an Eastern sportsman is allowed to hold
one by the horns, while another manages to
kill the victim at a dozen shots. -
General Nc Clellan, for the first time in six
years has visited the National Capitol. He
spent New Years Day very pleasantly, receiV-
ing only a few of his old friends.
Pennsylvania paper says Any person
wishing to take this paper can do SO by bring
ing us potatoes, apples, butter. or anything
to keep us from starving to death. Fi i
An Alabama editor, in putting a grocery
kept by woman, says: Her tomatoes are
as red as her own cheeks, her indigo as blue
as heriowh eyes, and her pepper as hot as her
own temper"
dividual in Norfolk, Virginia, became greatly
elated. ssBress de Lord, said he, 'ngger's
time bab come at last, and-no we gWlne to-
hab black sun. - 30 81
A Chicago firm advertises for a female
drummer to travel and solicit orders. No
country merchant would trade with Chica-
go womanfor fear ola breach of promise case.
gold-headed cane, "the wood of bog oak,
which was submerged 1000 years before the
birth of Christ, - is being voted for at fair
now being held at Sharon, Mercer county, Pa.
L AWestern editor, speaking of rogue who
lives in his vicinity, says: "The rascal has
broken every bank and jail and Sabbath we
have had in this country for the last five
years.
A New Haven man has argued with prom
inent merchant until the said merchant has
agreed to let the mans wife alone. He used
a seven-st ooter. This Is an old argument,
but it appears to fetch 'em. -
Ate colored meeting, a few nights ago
worthy preacher, whose piety exceeds learning
rather astonished his hearers by quoting, du-
ring an exhortation, from de 'pistle OBJ st,
Paul to the Canadians.
A California couple lately celebrated their
golden wedding by fight, in which the wo-
man was VICTORIOUS The man was so chagrin.
d at the result that he Immediately drowned
himself. - -As ee4A
Miss Harris, who figured in the Burroughs
shooting affair, has been transferred from the
insane asylum to the Philadelphia post-office
much to the CONSERVATION of the male clerks
in that establishment.
ebWaiter, /" said a fastidious gentleman cx-
hibiting asingular-looking object on the soup
ladle, "Waiter, do you know what that is?''
" That, sir, Looks like q mouse, sir. We often
find them in soup, sir. No extra charge, sir!',
A raw German policeman, just put on the
force, on being rebuked for not answering the
whistle-call ola comradesin trouble, exclaim-
ed, sswhy den he not pillow his vistle in Ger
man no understand English in the DARK
A photographer in GAINESVILLE invites Gus
toners in the following unique way :" Come
and see Nee Photographs are Made at these
Parlors for 50 so pr Doz Tintipes at Is apease.
Gems, at so cen pr Doz and all work warnted,
Or no pay" 80 a&@5a
A colored lawyer in South Carolina having
horse-whipped white member ofState Gov
eminent for insulting his wife, the Legislature
appointed an Investigation Committee which
reported that. 1.-THE logging was thoroughly
and handsomely done "
The statement that 5ylvanus Cobb is con-
fined in a Massachusetts inebriate asylum,
was typogra phical error. He is lecturing
on intemperance instead. Having made
this mistake about Cobb, we cheerfully &C.
knowledge the corn. lto 81
A generous chap near Muscatine, Iowa, the
otner night, offered his rival thirty cents ifhe
would stand back and not interfere with him
in his attempt. to take their mutually loved
Susan home from spelling school. The offer
was Indignantly refused.
A reporter for London paper wrote The
verdict of coroner's jury. Died OF hemor-