The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1870-04-27
The Husband Who was TO Mind the
#G Horse.

Once upon q time there Was q
man so surly and cross, he never
thought his wife did anything right
IN the house. So one evening. in
hay making time, he came home,
scolding and swearing, and show
ling bis teeth and making q dust.
s Dear love, don't be angry ;
there's a good man, said his goody,
Ito morrow let's change our work.
4 I'll 60 out with the mowers and
NOV and you shall mind the house
at home"
i Yes the husband thought, that
would do very well. He was quite
willing.
/ So, early next morning, his goody
took q scythe over her neck, and
went out into the hay field with
the mowers, and began to NOW,
but the man was to mind the house
and do the work at home.
! First Of all, be wanted TO churn
the hHtters bat when hd had churu-
ed awhile, he got thirsty, and went
down in the cellar to tap barrel
of ale. So, just when he had
knocked in the bang and was put
ing the tap into thecask he heard
the pig come into the kitch-
en-. Then off he ran up the cellar
steps with tire tap in his hand, as
fast as be conld to look after the
pig, lest he upset the churn but
when he got up, and saw that
the pig had already knocked tho
churn over, and stood there, roofing
and grunting amongst the cream,
which was running all over the
floor, he was so wild with rage that
he quite forgot the ale barrel, and
ran at the pig bard as he could.
He caught it just as it ran ont of
doors, and gave it such a kick that
piggy lay Tor dead On the spot.
Then ali at once be remembered he
bad the tap in his hand, but when
he got to the cellar. every drop Of
the ale had run out of the cask.
Then he went to the dairy and
found enough cream left to fill the
churn again, and so he began to
churn for butter they must h4vc at
dinner When he had churned q
bit, he remembered that their milk
ing COW was still shut up in the
bars, and hadn't bit to eat or
drink all the morning, though the
sun was high. Then all at once he
thought twas too far to take her
down to the meadow, so he'd Just
get ber on the house-top-for the
house, You must know, was thatch.
ed with sods and a fine crop of
grass was growing there. Now
these houses lay close up against a
steep down, and he thought If he
had laid plank across TO the
thatch at the back he'd easily get
the COW up.
But still he couldn't leave the
churn for there was his little babe
crawling about On the door, and t.if
| leave IL Z thought be, tine ehiId
churn on back and meaf On
with it, bit then be thought better
first water the COW before be turn
ed her out on the thatch, SO be took
up a bucket of drawn water out Of
the well; but as he stopped down
at the wells brink, all the cream
ran out of thechurn over his should
er and so down into the well.
Now it was near dinner time and
he hadn't even got the butter yet;
so be thought he'd best boil the
porridge, and ill the pot with wa
Ter and hang it over the fire. When
he had done that he thought that
the COW might perhaps fall of the
thatch and break her legs or neck.
So he got on the house to tie her up.
One end of the rope be made fast
10 the cows neck, and the other
slipped down the chimney and tied
around his own thigh, and he had
to make haste, for the water now
began to boil in the pot, and he had
10 still grind the oatmeal.
So he began to grind away, but
while he was hard at it, down fell
the cow off the house top after all,
and as she fell she dragged the man
1p the chimney by the rope. There
he stuck fast; and as for the COW,
she hung half way down the wall
swinging between heaven and
earth. Tor she could neither get up
nor down
And now the goody had waited
seven lengths and seven bleadths
or her husband to call her home to
dinner, but never call she had
At last she thought she'd waited
ong enough and went home But
when she got there she saw the COW
in such an ugly place, she
,an up and cut the rope in two
with her scythe. But as she did
his, down came her husband out Of
.be chimney, and so when his old
lame came inside the kitchen there
,he found him standing on his head
IN the porridge-pot.