The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-12-17
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


Here is a warning to tobacco smokers:
Scientific men have recently discovered that
the poison taken into the system from continued
smoking ef tobacco will cause death in one hum
bred and sxty-seven years.
This is how editors accumulate property:
A poor man. who. less than one year ago had
only suit of clothes, went into the newspa-
per business and now has eight suits. Seven OF
them for libel
The following shows what Horace Greeley
knows about dogs:
Horace Greeley writes to a Kansas subscriber
that the Bologna sausage tree will grow in any
climate, except the extreme northern. The roots
should be covered in winter.
The Laeon Home Journal has the following
rather mixed item:
Nebraska, not to be outdone in the way Of
queer girls, produces damsel who speaks four
languages, chews and smokes tobacco, play 8
the most difficult pieces the piano, swears,
dances superbly, and takes whisky straight"
with his best broken, thus successfully
struggling with three able.boded foes, is per-
haps unparalleled.
The editor of that paper evidently hadn't re-
covered from Thanksgiving
The Macomb EagJe gets off the following good
one on the question of 'beets" and ''beats"
William Wilkins, who lives near Adair, in
this county, selected from patch of beets in his
garden twenty-five, weighing from fifteen to
twenty-seven and half pounds each 1t beats
the world how they raise beets in McDonough
county. Since the election nobody but Demo.
Gratis can afford 20 look at big beets In this coun-
ty. The sight of large beet throws Radicals
into commissions.
The Marseilles Citizen feels assured that the
railroad through that place from Chicago to
Pekin will be built. So are we that our Ottawa
Water Power will be damd before it is in sue
cessful operation.
The city of Henry, down the river, is jubila.
ting over the completion of the new bridge
across the river at that point. One enthusiastic
chap expresses his feelings in column of rhyme,
in the Henry RpuDlican, on the subject The
pome begins thusly:
Hale Nifty Structur! tien on to
The klassick shore of mudi Hope well town,
We've huri ov We, for 10 these many years,
An now we're glad tn no yer dun at last"
The Quincy Herald, one of the best of our ex.
changes, is full of good things every week
Here is one
Grant in his message intimates that there has
been q prohigacy in disposing of the public
lands by grants Of which the people may tire
There is another kind of Grant occupying the
white house of whom the people have long since
tired and propose SION to retire.
A "Peory' youth got love struck at church
last Sabbath, and penned the following epistle
to his fair inamorata
81 saw yu at shurtch las sundy knitc and
want tn form with yu and AQuanetans. l am a
yunge man of good karicater, and clerk in a
stoar, and git celery OF $500 per annium pleas
adres boX--peost offs"
For some unexplained reason Cairo paper
advises young ladies not to climb trees-in the
day time
From the Clay county (Mo.) Democrat, OF
which Mr.. A. b. Bowman Is one of the editors,
who is cousin of our Photographic Bowman,
we get several good squibs
Another innocent abroed-Mark Twain has a
baby.
The Chicago Post tells us that "the Republi.
party is committed to civil service reform.
We were in hopes that about nine tenths of il
would be committed to the penitentiary.
farmer at Scipio, N. Y, has turkey that
has laid one hundred eggs in one bundled days
never missing day Oh account of sickness or
circus in town. or anything
The state Register says of Kansas immigrants
A great many of the people who moved from
st. Clair county to Kansas last spring have done
SO well that they are now moving back
a Southern Illinois exchange remarks that
just now the moon is in the right sign for people
to pay the printer.
new garter has just come out. 1t Is "a heavy,
round. elastic chain, much the style of the heavy
gold chains upon which lockets are worn and
has hook and eye to it. Gold garter clasp,
with the ladys monogram on, forms part of her
trosseau nowadays aud these have been gotten
up with u view to novelty.
There are such garters out in Ottawa or
at least, we haven't seen any, Us yet .
Melancholy satisfaction-to be awful glad.
There is man in town so b.shful that he sci
dom gets acquainted with the facts.-Ex.
We know that fellow. He is the editor of q
republican paper.
young man named Aurora Jones twho i.
considered an intoer.ble bor,.) induced Mis-,
Alice Thorn to 20 riding with him. On her re-
turn home, to the inquiry OF her parents wher,
she had been during the evening, she replied
that che had been witnessing display OF ia,
.1tuVr0 bore alice.