The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1870-07-03
new YORK CHURCHES.
REPORTS OF SERMONS.
What is Thought Of the Herald's Rel
giOus Enterprise in England.

white ties and poke bonnets that used to crowd Its
benches nve-andtwenty years ago. Not that New
York Is at all lacking in It's supply OF religious sensa
u0naltsm, and what we rather fear Is not 30
much that America will take up with our
stale ana eTete religionism az that possibly the
enterprisng caterers Of the London penny press now
shat they rather disposed to abandon the excite
ment OF dirty advertisements, will replace them by
going into the other extreme, and food US every
Monday morning with reports Of sermons and the
sayings and doings Of the London churches. Some
time ago we gave specimens OF the pulpit eloquence
and the pew annals OF that remarkable country from
the NEW YORK HERALD; but the mine of nonsense
and profanity Is rich, and we are tempted to work
another lode. II we remember rightly our last ex-
tracts referred to the winter season; we have now
pel0re us New York hOnlIsls and hOmiletics in the
hush and glory OF spring The HERALD OF May %
and 80 introduces US TO American religion in Its
dalnticst dress and most raw fishing costume.
Now the bright mornn. star, days harbinger,
Comes dancing from the East, and leads : d with her
Most lovely nose.ays to the bellies and beaux.
Or, to change the ngure, the NEW YORK HERALD
In May read very much like the newspaper accounts
quarts OF turtle. so many marrow puddtngs, so
acres Of tnsoos 50 S lakes Of lobster
cpiittome of this spiritual banquet in a
sort OF menu OF the religious dainties which
supply. Certainly, II we could but have had the
promise OF these highly seasoned enten.es. instead
OF their cold presentment tile next day, we might
have braved the Atlantic for the chance OF sharing
in such rare triumpns Of the homietlc carstne
Plymouth Church," "High and Lofty Doctrinal
TunDllng III Heaven and Hell, by an IrrepressiD.e
Of Gentle Puachers RonaS9
Handled; - 'The Immortali y OF the Soul from Filth
Avenue Point Of view;r' 1.-The Lord Scavengers IN
the House OF the Strangers, and Insanity Considered
in the Church Of the AninIties." The only drawback
would be that from which we have suffered at
evil luck to assist. The riches so embarrassing
that we know not how to choose; In dawdling
OF winch we know neither the name compo-
eitiOn, and we get up nom the table dinnerless, IN
absolute despair OF selecting irom the Apician mar
One--is to eat the most uninteillglbe article IN the
carte; and 50 we suspect on May 20 we should have
gone In for 'the Lords Scavcngers in the House OF
the Strangers" To have made such selection,
perhaps would augur incipient idlocy-although we
might have had the excuse OF being strangers, and
so might perhaps, think ourselves at nome In a
church with so odd dedication as that of the House
OF the Strangers-but we should certainty have
come back raving mai after listening to 'Insanity
Considered in the Church OF the Ainlties." Church
OF the Afllnitiesl Now what muiJitudlnous sea Of
phrase! Afnites What afiin,ties, and indeed,
what are aninitiess and then a church,
SPECIAL ainlties OF church, At first we thought Of
the table OF Consan9ulnlty and Affinity and began
house Of Cod in which you could marry ali your
wes family. and perhaps all oI them at once by
desperate act Of all-enbracing nlatrmOny Or could
1t be a church OF free love, In which aninites Of
some sort or other spiritual or carnal received spe
clal cultlvations Elective a1lnities Tor example.
But then great as seem be the antecedent attrac.
tions OF church vi The alIinities, although 'the
Lords Scavengers" has very unpromising not to
say disgusting sound, ye Its decided nastiness and
revolving Dlasphemy somehow must draw, although
one hardly goes t. Church to assist at filing mud
cart We have plenty OF garbage IN the daily news
papers and Sunday at least may be free from scav-
engers, even though they are the Lords.
But there is another most appetIzing dsh-"iiigh
in Heaven and SaltimbanQues Ia Gehenna? What
can 1t means Vulcan, we know, performed terri
bic feat In TINS way and it took nm nine day to ac
VI heaven, not in heaven SO was Yamen's, Which
occupied him nine centuries. Again we ask What
can 1t neanY We regret 20 inform readers that we
cannot quite say. the NEW YORK HERALD has rather
hOaxed us. Either the report Of the High and Lofty
Tumblng has lost this attractive title
is only Mr.. Gordon Benefits own commentary and
gloss upon some Of The JACK Pudding performances
which ne reports, as n some fraudulent cdrtes at
French tables " hOe the dish with The most elabOr-
ate title is not there. We must admit, however, that
though we have no sermons on tumbling In heaven
struck by the spiritual posture-masteis
that especial Sunday In New York. At the
the sermon was an ordinary one, In which no alu.
sion was made To the recent little muss." The
'muss" appears 10 have been that the Rev. o. Smyth
has been dismissed BY MS Gid sheep; 1t is forcl
bly, expressed, che has been ruthIeesy bounded
down by Puritanical inQuisition,' In connection
with some little ..ndiscl eon In partaking of GIN
AMI milk OF the Sabbath and Is now getting up
.gew nock-a lauda5le attempt at raising the wind,
which Is headed, "Kev. Z. smyth on the Rampage"
The RAMPAGE, we admit, Is not very riOtous, after
all, but not so the '.lun and true religion In
Plymouth church," or. as the reporter phrases 1t,
ga good time and merry time at Plymouth" Here
the Menus OF the occasion that remarkable
apostle OF popularity, Mr.. ward Beecher. Plymouth
sazfone every Sunday morning. and on the 22d OF
May the azaleas ana the PASTORS jokes were In full
and Joy se into fay sy WE arc
told ''pervaded greater part OF the servlces.'
The fun certainly grew rast and furious. AS to The
flowers with which we are IN Ormed the platform Of
Plymouth is decorated every sunday. and which are
displayed ION stands, they must make the mouths OF
some advanced ceremonialsts among ourselves
water. Mr.. Ward Beecher must look like Love among
the roses, and he say, that II he could afford it, he
would have not only the platform but hiswhOe church
so decorated. Before the sermon began 1t became
dark that Mr.. Beecher could not see his Bible where
upon he asked somebody to pun up the blinds Up
then rose "a gentleman known as Charley Dennisn
who addressing the pastor, said that he had made
rrOpos ton for tonng down the light, but that his
'llstencd with very solemn countenance, and re-
Piled Will see that 1t be attended, to- and that the
bill be sent to you Also" winch, as schoolboys
not II the .., least degree N surprised 10 %
ring OF laughter right through the church, Mr.
Eeecher having opened the vein, kept 1t rum
ming, and studded MS sermon with broad Jokes and
the report has very cneery look with It's tlaugnter
and Qoud laughter). little jest goes q long way
when It comes from clerical j0kester IN the pulpit
dote Of his old negro nurse, '.who had q lap large
enough for q sitting room cOuch,n which seems TO
have been his most brilliant wltticism on THIS Jolly
Sunday. The nearest approach to 'the nigh and lofty
tumbliDg In heaven ana help Is contained in a SER
mon by 'Blshop Snow at MountZon Church. whose
doctrine Is comprised in the brief but somewhat
novel creed that there is not and will be any
hell or heaven either but that the earth Is to be the
dwelling place Of man forever, and that "God and
Christ VIII reside here with man, We are not sur.
prlSed 10 be informed that .iniS doctrine was not
accompanied by any supplicatiOn, thanksgiving or
prayer, and thut the stranger waited IN vain for
sucn act OF worship, for there WAS none.n Nor
are we So much scandali1ed as perhaps with a less
eccentric bishop We should pe TO find tnat, as Ia
"Bishop Snow 81 view nus church Is not Mouse Of
prayer so nc has no objection 10 use II OF
merchandise. '1he pastor called attention 10 some
OF his publications which we're displayed for sale
= table behind the pulpit
"Ihe Lotds Scavengers, as may well be aniici-
patcd, was very nasty discourse indeed, and the
Rev. Dr. Deems is 10 be discreditcd with it. On the
text. ..WhereSOeYPr There will