Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1870-09-17
NC. 222

''Troth Sir, an thin / do" replied the
officer, with calmness that spoke his
conviction NJ
An irrepressible litter ran round the
table,
Chouzler grew purple with rage, but
maintained all outward calm.
''Why, Sir" he gulped, "do you imag-
inc that | could be party to this affairP"
The officer replied. without seconds
hesitation: 'Beggorra thin, Sir, bekase
ye've dhroll eye, divil doubt of it,"
We roared laughing. The fact Of fix
ing the escapade on the wary and irate
Chouzler was SO mirth-provoking, that
we laughed loudly and long.
I'm not remain here to be made a
laughing stock of" he shouted, darting
from his chair as he spoke; land allow
me to say that this scandalous practical
joke shall be siited to the very bottom
to the very bottom!" ~ t te~
He approached the door, and was about
| flinging it open, when the constable inter-
posed na
"Aisy-aisy, Sir! One of yez fyin'
away is hapes, but two would be the
divil entirely"
Poor old Chouzler, beaten at all points,
returned to his seat, swallowing tum-
blerful of water, and glared at his foe.
ats time gintlemin," said the second
constable. ''that something should be
done. We must send for the sheriff, GIN
tlemin, if yez don't produce the gintlemin
that is ahide"
"Send for the sheriff at once, Sir"
shouted Chouzler, land let him deal with
this matter with the utmost rigor."
"Gintlemin, is it your wish that should
go for the sheriff."
OmneS: "Yes.n alt
Now, had allowed things to 60 too
far. had broken down the bridge, re-
treat was utterly out of the question; so
conceded with the rest, loudly demand
ing the Sheriff. .....-.--.s...
The facetious constable remained while
the other went in search of the officer Of
the law. D. ~ 5A}tsaM ttse'--
..Troth, Yell have quare time av it
whn the Sheriff comes, gintlemin. I
don't care tuppence for meself, for I'm
only fifteen shillin's week, but yez are
in a hobble as sure as my name is Pat
Murphy. He'll 60 roarin mad, and get
yez all six months, as sure as there's an
eye in a goat or bill ON crow
The worthy man helped himself to a
chair, and seated himself with his back to
the door, surveying us all with grim
pleasantly that was highly diverting.
'Begorra, We might well bile up, Sir,"
he continued, addressing Chouzler; for
the dickens such man to dale with as the
Sheriff ye never saw. The High Sheriff
is lamb to him, an we all know that his
temper is rayther powdhery. Only wait
till he comes, and maybe he won't take
grip of some OF yez."
.'Silence, Sir. - said Mr.. Chouzler. ''If
= Inu oil to asnd dura
ence, it cannot force US to listen to such
jargon." 7a .as. M
'Oh, that's hapes. as Mr.. Murphy OBJ
served when he swallowed the crab," OBJ
served the constable in an offended tone.
That's hapes. Mr.. Foreman, and GIN
tlemin av the Jury. I'm dumb as Crown
witness. Hapes indeed" ,. ,,...si
At this juncture we heard loud voices on
the lobby, and the door was assailed with
a vigorous application of knuckles. -
"Who goes there ?" demanded the con-
stable. .
The Sub-Sheriff! Open in the name
of the law" was the response.
The door was thrown open, and enter
the Sub-Sheriff, followed by the constable
and two policemen.
The Sub-Sheriff locked the door, put
ing the key in his pocket. took piece of
paper therefrom, and said
'Gentlemen please answer to your
Names" calling us after the manner OF a
Sergeant-at armes.
We answered with remarkable prompt
ness. till the unlucky Slopmiss was called.
'.Mr Slopmiss is the missing man." said
the Sub-Sheriff. "Now, gentlemen, he
added "this is a very serious business, a
very serious business, perhaps more so
than any of you imagine. 1t involves
consequences of the gravest character.
How these two tried and honest men
could have permitted Mr.. Slopmiss to pass
them remains to be seen, and how you,
as body of respectable gentlemen, could
have contrived at it, is, to say the least of
it, most suspicious. Till the High Sheriff
frain from making further comments"
The timid jurors all chimed in that
they were innocent, in thought, word and
deed, of any participation in the abscond-
| ing of their brother, while the remaining
few began to consider it capital fun, and
thirst for denouement.
The Sub-Sheriff. police, constables and
specials consulted together in mysterious
whispers.
began to wish Slopmiss safely deposit
ed in an adjoining parish, for We're he to
put in an appearance now (and moment
arily expected him) he would in all inno-
cence criminate me, and thereby bring
the wrath of the posse c0mitdtuS on my
devoted head.
That's the High Sheriff, Sir,' said one
of the policemen, as a hasty knocking was
heard at the door. All eyes naturally
turned in that direction. The High Sheriff
who had been dining out, appeared in full
blown evening costume, and betrayed at
least one bottle OF Chateau Lafitte.
''What the deuce is all this row about ?"
said voice beside me.
turned and beheld Slopmss, who had
glided to his seat like phantom, or like
Mr.. Payne when performing the part of
Philip Vanderdecken. @
) Hush" said l, in hurried whisper |;
"don't for your life pretend that know Of
your being out of the ROOM"
!, The Sub-Sheriff, in order to impart So
) lemnity to the proceedings. deliberately
locked the door, handed the key to the
: II;rh Shar;T aud haUan as follows.