The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-03-17
GouGH AND DICKINSON.

COUGH AND DICKINSON. 5Te1
.4.F#lH -FE .1s.+ -. .gt4-Efr t.s5-
One of ths paying professions of
the day is what may be termed sala-
ried philanthropy. This occupation
is one in which men and women go
about doing good, at remunefative
prices. afazi 5fa al.s9
Miss Anna Dickinson, a lovely
young termagant and humanitarian is
on this philanthropic business, and is
doing well at it. Her mission is to
elevate woman, and destroy political
evils. Her terms for this charitable
service, are from $500 to s400 a night
For this triiing compensation does
she employ herself in the arduous and
inspiring labor of wedding the nation
al garden and IN the work of bring
ing up to grade depressed woman.
Another person who is engaged in
the blessed work of reform is Mr..
John B. Cough. His mission is the
noble one of rescuing from the gutter
those unfortunates who have re@ed
into it from the effects of benzine in
too large, and too frequent, and too
long continued potations. For this
benefieent work Mr.. Cough charges
the regular fee of from 5000 to $500
per night. ~ ieil sL=R !. = sial q
In reference to this gentleman, it at
once becomes apparent to any one
that he is on the precise track lon
which he can run his reform train the
farthest distance in the shortest space
of time, and with the most comfortt to
all the passengers. It must be, evil
dent to any one that temperance lec-.
lures, in order to be effective, should,
be delivered to people who can afford
a dollar for reserved seat in which
to be operated on. Those peopleIw
dollars to spare for secured chairs;
these fine ladies with $500 furs and
5000 dresses these gentlemen with
diamonds on their shirt fronts, and
plethoric wallets, are the precise ones
who need to be wrought on by these
reformers of the teetotal persuasion.
1t is true that the great majority of
drunkards are men who cannot raise
a dollar to hear Mr.. Cough; and if
they could raise it, they would be
more than apt to invest it in a COM
pound of fusil Oil, benzine of Prus-
sian blue. But, then, what is the use
of saving or reforming such people? !?
Mr.. Cough understands this perfectly,
and exactly in the same way, does
that charming scold, Miss Anna Dick
inson, understand it. He and she la
Dor in the benignant direction of re-
forming the wealthy, of curing the
well, of healing the undiseased, of
binding up gaping wounds which
have no existence. They feed the
full, they minister to those who have.
no suferings, they kill the fatted calf
for those who have just risen from an
elaborate, elegant and satisfactory
dinner. l ~ - ~ . '5 ri
Since the days of Christ, there
seems to be a scarcity among those
who are willing to engage in the
work of reform for less than 5000 or
$500 per night. Even at this figure,
the reform is no reform. It does not
reach those who need it. Bread is not
given to the hungry, OF the pledge ex-t
tended to those who require it. Had
Mr.. Cough been obliged to pay one
dollar for a reserved seat to hear the
lecturer whose arguments. converted
him to sobriety, he would never have
gone, and he might long since have
filled an inebriate's grave. Z y - gas
Can't wee have a Cough who, will
lecture on temperance to drunkards;
a Dickinson who will approach those
of her sex who are in need of that ele-.
vation which she so affectingly urges,
upon elegant, and wealthy women,
who need no elevation? If Christ
had charged fifty cents admission to,
His sermons, and a quarter extra for a
reserved pew, He might have gotten
in the wealthy Pharisees to hear Him,
but He would have no more laid the
foundation Of Christianity by such a,
course, than Cough now lays the base
of substantial reform among drunk
ards Chicago Times. Y sii7 97!oi ~