Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-06-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

ueduS are DelteT luau one.
RATIoNs that one can seldom live upon
Aspirations.
al SEE you're on the watch" as the
thief said to the guard chain.
THE man who had cloud upon his
brow has since been mist.
PUBLIC SPIRIT Readiness to do any
thing which is likely to prove lucrative
THE rates of the Washington Life are
the same as other good companies
WHEN married man becomes corned,
it is perfectly proper for his wife to pull
his ears.
RUMoR IL vsgrant without home,
and lives upon what it kan pick up
Billings.
board for the Musical Institute to be held
in Chicago the last of August.
"DARLING, it's bedtime All the little
chickens have gone to bed" Yes, NAM
ma, so has the old hen"
THOUGH money may be "the root of
evil" yet it is a root" that we all like to
see grow on our hands.
DoBBs says he would have died of vel
low fever in August if it hadn't been for
one thing the doctors gave him up.
THE types made one of the Troy papers
inform its readers that the polls would be
open from sundown to sunset"
INSURE your life for the amount of the
mortgage on your house, in the Washing
ton Life Insurance Company, of New
York.
AN exchange thinks it rather embarras-
sing to lift your hat to lady, and have
couple of dirty collars roll out upon the
walk.
SNooPs says, if you wish to recollect
mans name, go security for his house
rent. For keeping your memory fresh,
there is nothing like this plan.
A LADY, in trying to cure her husband
of smoking, has learned to smoke the
weed herself, and complains that ait is
rather an expensive habit for two"
JOSH BILLINGS says: "Give the devil
his dues" reads well enough in proverb /;
but what will become Nv you and me if
this arrangement is carried out?"
COMMISSIONER DELAHo has received an
inquiry from Western genius, who wants
to know if the currency found with his
five.cent tobacco should be included in his
income return.
Nor bad for little girl of ten, whose
knowledge of geography is somewhat i'm
perfect. On hearing her father speak Of
going to the polls to vote, she very inno-
Gently inquired if the people of the tropics
voted at the equator.
A DANBURY, Conn, fisherman, who
baited his hook with small frog, and,
after conversiDg with companion a. few
minutes, found that his lively bait had
swan ashore and was sitting quietly on
the rock by his side, wound up his line,
and went home.
A LADY in Bangor, Me-, who directed a
servant to take out and clean the win
dows in an upper story, was intensely
disguised when, on making visit for in
spection, she found that Bridget had re.
moved every pane ofglass from the sashes
and neatly washed and piled them on
the floor.
! A PAINTER, who had been employed to
paint the hull of a steamer, did not paint
| it close enough to the water line by about
eight inches. The mistake was pointed
out to him, and he said al painted it
close to the water, but the tide went out
last night, and | could not prevent the
water from falling"
A LADY made call upon friend who
had recently been married. When her
husband came to dinner she said, Give
been to Mrs s." "Well," replied the
husband, 81 suppose she is very happy"
Happy! Well, should think she ought
to be- she has camels hair shawl, two
thirds border"
MAMMA" said little fellow, whose
mother had forbidden him to draw horses
and ships on the mahogany sideboard
with a sharp nail Mamma, this amt a
nice house, At Sam Racketts we can cut
the sofa and pull out the hair, and ride
the shovel and tongs over the carpet but
here we can't have any fun at all"
In little Western town lady teacher
was exercising Il class of juveniles in
mental arithmetic. She commenced the
question, "lf you buy cow for ten dol
lars" when up came little hand.
"What is it, Johnny" "Why you can't
buy no kind of cow for ten dollars
father sold one for sixty dollars the other
day, and she was regular old scrub at
that?"
A FRIEND was complaining to Coleman
that he should be compelled to change his
tailor, rs he found that suit of clothes
would not last him above half the time that
it ought TO do, and inquired if he could
recommend him any place where he could
meet with apparel more durable. "Yes,"
sald Coleman, 81 recommend you to
chancery, and there you may have suit
that will last you your lifetime"
AsALooN KEEPER of questionable hon.
esty went to lawyer to consult him
about commencing an action of defama-
tion against a fellow townsman. "The
scoundrel," said he, fiercely, "has robbed
me of my character p "Ahl has heY--
are you sure of that fact 2" replied the at
torney; "it 80, for heavens sake let him
go, for its the luckiest thing that ever hap.
pened TO you I"
THREE things lady cannot do She
cannot pass millinery-shop without