The Greenville enterprise. [volume] (Greenville, S.C.) 1870-1873, 1870-06-01
VOLUME IXVII-~NO. 2.
FRANKLIN once said. "Give
your son Q trade and you do more
for him than by giving him for
tune.n ..., .,....

: W.. cNh Q VI od0 dlia JOu uO uiOIo
for him than by giving him a for
tune" - .....>. ,...
LoeIo.--Strange as it may seem,
it is nevertheless fact, that if you
cut off your left hand, your right
hand becomes your left hand.
"IsN'r il STRANGE" remarked q
lady, "that the Miss Smiths are so
gross %. "Not at ALL" was the
reply, "their father was a grocer"
IT is little troubles that wear the
heart out /; it is easier 10 throw O
bomb.shell mile than a feather
even with artillery. .....c...
lGoD makes no promise to those
who hold back. But he gives
strength to the obedient, and light
to those who determine to trust
Him.
A PHYSICIAN boasting at a din
ner that he cured his own hams,
one of tho guests remarked Doc.
tor, l would rather be your ham
than your patient"
A MAN in Rhode Island has
been sent to Jail for ten days for
sleeping in church. Nothing was
done with the clergyman who put
him to sleep.
Why is an italian exile return
ing to, his native land, like a man
going to see his son GO up an ap.
pie tree2 Because he is going to
see his own sunny cline.
Bua acknowledgements, a wine.
glass full to three gallons of water,
thrown on plants from a syringe
or watering pot, it is said, will ex.
terminate garden vermin. But
never try it with undiluted oil.
FIRE insurance in Japan is sim
pie, but effective. No paid up
capital required. The aCompa-
ny consists of the Mikado, who
issues one general "policy (which
he calls an edict. The chief con-
dition Of the policy is that every
person whose house catches fire
shall haoe his head cut off. The
losses have been very light.
A WITNESS was examined before
ajndge in a case of slander, who
required him to repeat the pre-.
else words spoken. The witness.
fixing bis eyes upon the Judge, be.
gan: May it please your honor,
you lie, steal, and get your living
by cheating" The face of the
judge Redeemed, and he exclaim.
ed: "Turn your face to the Jury,
sir, when you speak,"
A TRAVELLER, who demanded his
trunk at Baltimore depot, before
all Others, and was told by the
Irish baggage-master that he must
have patience and wait his turn.
turned npon the baggage master
with " You're All ilnpudent dog"
10 which he of the trunks reioin.
ed: " AM faith, ye are a mon.
key, and it's great pity that.
when we two were mado bastes.
ye wasn't made an illiphant, so
that ye could have yer blasted
trunk under yer nose all the time"
RECENTLY Captain Mason, of
Way Key;Fla., was standing on
the porch of his hotel, when an ell.
dcrly lady came ont of the build
ing. The rain had been falling.
and consequently the middle Of
the street was wet. IT should
like to get across the street with
out wetting my feet, J" said the lady.
~ can help you across" !" the Can
tain responded. "Ob, deari I
shall feel so much obliged to you. {"
the lady said: "my feet have not
been wet for twenty years." For
Heavens sake, Madame" said the
Captain, "don't show them TO
me-" -..- .. >.
| ."YoUNo gentlemen" said the eel.
ebrated Doctor Thos. Cooper. ad-
dressing his class, in the South Ca
rolina College. years ago, " Poetry
ls defined in your textbook TO be
the language of passion ~ Then
suddenly pausing, and addressing
the juvenile Ethiopian who, was
vainly striving to kindle q fire in
the recitation room, the doctor
fiercely added:
"Jim ! you Internal black rascal.
why don't you light that fire ."
Turning again to his astonished
auditors, with merry twinkle in
his eye, the professor inquired
"Gentlcmen, is that poetrys"
Poor RULE THAT WoN'r wopx
BOTH WAYs,-The following is verv
applicable, and We publish it fer
the benefit Of those most inter .
ested:
| Landlord-Mr. Editor vii,