The Republican journal., 1870-02-03
ILLINOIS DIVORCES

Yesterday morning, about ten o'clock, an
elderly, serious looking individual, well pro-
tected from the inclemency of the weather
| by sundry layers of overcoats and comfort
ers, entered the office of the Clerk Of the
| Supreme Court in q methodical manner, and
after spending about ten minutes IN unwrap-
ping himself to sufficient degree to be able
to articulate, expended about the same period
of time in slowly looking around him. After
carefully investigating the surroundings of
the highly ornamcnted office, the old gentle
mans eye rested upon the bland features of
one Of the most gentlemanly and benevolent
| of living deputy clerks
Leaning toward him, he seriously enun-
ciated the important monosyllabie, "Capm
The parsonage thus addressed inquired
for further particulars.
Cap repeated the stranger care you
given to unhitching folks here? Do you di-
vorce a little?'
The reply to this intcrrogatory was OF q
somewhat atfirmatory character, whereupon
the questioncr stated his grievance, after re-
luctantly admitting that his wife had not de-
serted him, neither had she been guilty of
adultery, cruelty, drunkenness, or any of the
other little cccentrcties for which the law
allows a dissolution of the marital bonds.
The old woman, Cap" quoth he, "don't
get along we'll with me. She jaws Inc fear
tul, and if any man can stand iawing his
name is not mine. We don't get along well
together, and haven't for the last thirty
years | therefore want to be unhitched,
and | don't want her to know anything about
it until its all over. | want it done now.
because it's getting cold weather, and it will
take a good deal to winter her Can I get
divorced here without any body finding it
out for spell?'
"My friend" responded the official, suave-
| ly and kindly, "see ye yonder desk ~
The stranger responded the affirmative.
eff you come here in about one hour, You
will see three young men, whose natural fe-
rocitv is depicted on their countenanccs, sit
ting there together. In u moment they will
hear that a suit for divorce has been com
menced; they will rush for the papers; they
will brutally assault each other for the first
chance to sean their contents and then they
will write for four hours apiece. They are
newspaper men, and will write you up fol
publication; they are probably now in the
next room doing the same thing for some
body else. They will write All article about
you with thirteen head lines. They will
print all you know about yourself, and all
that any one else knows, and q great deal
that no one knows. 1t may, of course, do
you good, but Of that you will have to Judge
yourself. You can't get rid of them, for they
are affluent and incorruptible, and it won't
be of any use to kill them, for at their offices
they keep omen great deal worse til an they
are"
"Cap," slowly and sadly asked the now
frightened sutton, sis that all true?''
at is true, all Of it, and less than the truth =
''Then," said the old man, with melan-
choly air, as he proceeded to again envelop
| stJ
guess I'll winter the old woman after all. I'll
come back again next year, and then, per
haps, these fellows will be dead"
And silently and sorrowfully the disap-
pointed one pulled his hat over his eyes and
quietly stole away. [Chicago Republican.