The Portland daily press., 1870-07-01
Terms $500 pen. anmu,s, in aarance.
The 5onese. and sheir pien,e.

The London correspondent of the Norwich
Advertiser is very much of wag, and says as
good things as any Mark Twain among us.
The following is sample, and mott the best
one either, of his descriptive powers:
Now then it became the wish and pleasure
OF Her Majesty, Mrs. Jones, that we have Z
family picnic in the woods. that is, invite q
lew friends, such as Bella Chigibeaux, take
sail up the river spread a white cloth on the
cool, green grass. and there offer up the re-
freshments, and let oil bands lemonade and
promenade with true rural license. This was
gay thing in contemplation. We arrived at
the wharf wiihou, mishap. The following Is
the order of procession:
1st. Mrs. Jones in white looking beautiful
IL, but too lovely for woodland goddess, too
flesby for fairy.
Next the gentle Bella Chignop, with dar-
ling Neapolltan hat and sparkling cold bu.
tons on her shoes. which made her little feet
flash from under her pink skirt like glow
worms from beneath rose bush.
No. 3. Beas beau. This young gent is
gttering scion of some very distant house,
who wears scarlet vest and winged nous.
tache,Swho slaps us .jocose, on the back and
says, "Old j., for a comical old seed, you lay
over them ALL"
No. A. Priscilla Pannier, with a bean that
belongs to another young lady, but borrowed
without her consent fOr this occasion. The
truth is, Priscilla is going down for the last
time in the sea of singleness, and unless some
humane chap dives for her she will 90 down,
down among the mermaids, old maids, etc.
No. 3. The twins-TOm and Jerry These
are rare specimens You cannot tell them
apart or together either; neither can they
tell each others things apart, or, in fact other
peoples things from their own The only
that H. f.,lI.x
ed is by counting tue freckles on their faces,
Tom having just five mere than Jerry, but
this Is good deal of a Job, as the .reckle5
plumber over II Goo, exclusive OF warts, moulds
and an endless variety OF worms. Natural
lists and showmen Lave offered us big induce
ments to let the boys go, but we are afraid
that cage life would be too wearing for them.
No. g. Aunt Nalrus, with necklace made
OF watermelon seeds al found her neck, and a
horse shoe III her pocket to tell the witches to
"shoo fly"
Z. Keno! with chip hat and nankeen
trowsers and pack of fire crackers, with
which he intended, as he said, 10 .'stir up o'd
fatty" Aunt Walrus,) and set her to sweat
ing
8. The other girls, Winilred Waterfall, etc.
0. The boy Buchu.
10. The bulIy-Englehert Euripides Epi-
lepsy.
IL. Last and least-Old Hosea Jones, shep-
herd OF the flock, with his crook in his elbow.
Loading the boat was hazard dous ard heavy
business. AT length the girls and grub, ba-
bies and bundles were all in, and then Mrs.
Jones stepped upon seat, and in second
the boat rolled upon its side and stood on its
keel; then Mrs. Joues stepped again and then
the boat rolled the other way. taking in at
each turn gallons OF salt water and floating
the biscuit. The rays of the sun were fierce,
nd soon the scarlet faces of the c, ildIen be-
gan to peel. This is a solemn and painful
sight for parent, to behold the faces oil his
children pee ing in layers, like onions. The
jbing was terror to Mrs. ] and finally the
boom at one fell blow crushed Bella Chig's
Neapolitan and swept Young Buchu over
board. And here we will have to leave the
party, looking for the lost Buchu, and should
be ever rise to the surface the trip and &C.
count will be continued.