Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-11-04
Hand-ShRking,

THE hot summer of 1870 must
have set many people thinking wheth-
er II is not possible to invent some
mode of salutation more convenient than
that of shaking hands When the ther-
mometer is at 80 in the shade, and when
the only hope of escaping a sunstroke
seems TO be to drink so much tea and to
wear so little clothes as to best promote
perspimtion, then. the tyranny of the
social law which compels us to grasp the
hand OF . casual and very hot acquaint-
ance, and to give II the established vibra-
ton, Is fully felt, and becomes almost in
supportable. But the inconvenience Of
shaking hands is not confined 30 the sea-
son of hot weather only. There is proba-
bly, no mode of salutation commonly
practised by any civilized nation which is so
encompassed with difficulties and embar-
easements. The difficulty of making
correct bow is no doubt considerable.
There Is the difficulty of knowing how to
bow how to draw the artistic line between
the upceremonious nod and the obsequious
obeisance; and-for people who aim at
doing things in good fo.zn--the difficulty
of apportioning their angles of reverence
to the different sexes and to the different
social positions, ages and degrees Of inti-
macy of persons in each sex And there
Is also the difficulty of knowing when to
bow. But all the difficulties that cluster
round the bow are nothing compared to
those that encompass the shaking of
hands. The difficulties of knowing how
to bow are, after all, only the difficulties
which beset the attempt to do anything
WE'LL and difficulties of the same kind,
not inferior In degree, will be found to
beset the practice of shaking hands. As
for fha diffir1tIffao Of EY,rttrtnnr tuharn In
bow, it is obvious that they must be at
least doubled in the case of hand shaking,
for this simple reason, that that mode of
| salutation requires the consent and CO.
| operation of two persons to execute 1t.
If any person should be inclined to
doubt whether hand-shanking, is difficult
operation, let him consider the different
modes in which the custom is observed
among his various friends and aequaint-
ances. There are negative modes and
there are positive modes of shaking hands.
| There are first of all, the people who seem
to fear that if they once give you their
! hands they may never get them back again,
and who manpuvre so that you may not
possess yourself of more than the tips of
! their fingers This mode of hand shaking
may be called tipping, and those who use
| it tippers. Closely allied to them is an
other sort of half-handed shakers, those,
namely, wlro do not clasp your hand, but
finger it with two digits. This mode of
| shankfng hands is sometimes adopted by
men of political and literary notoriety.
| But it is very apt to give offence; and the
most serious consequences have been known
to ensue from its having beenJpracticed by
young author upon critic whom he had
mistaken for rival writer. These per-
sons who, failing to give the whole hand,
nevertheless do not touch your hand with
the tips of their fingers only, but finger 1t
with the whole OF more fingers, may be
called fngerers. Then there are those who
give the whole hand, but give it in a limp,
flabby manner as Newfoundland dog
| gives its paw. These people seem to think
they have discharged the whole duty of
handshaking when they have put their
neighbors in possession of their hands.
Were it the custom TO make our adieux to
a dear departed by shaking hands with his
corpse, the sensation would no doubt be
very like what we experience when we
salute these fiabby shakers who, as they
use their hands much in the. same way as
the Mock Turtle used his flaps, may be
called .1dppers. These negative modes OF
shaking hands are disagreeable enough
But the positive modes are still more un'
pleasant Among these the least distress
ing is probably the thrusting mode. There
are some people who, when you ottel
them YOUR hand, take it; but take II
only to put it from them, as ii 1t wert
something common and unclean. They
seize it with quick decision, as brave
children seize snap-dragon or an earwlg
; Then, by a rapid thrust forward in tierce
they return it to your side and having go
it there, they drop or shoot it into space
5 These thrusters are numerous class; anC
oddly enough, their mode does not seem u
give so much offence as that of the Upper
and fingerers. More physically painful
though ethically less injurious, is the mod
of those who squeeze This mode is chief,
practiced by Methodists, by fervid preacher
of evangelical persuasions, and by other per
sons of power and piety. Torments ar
sometimes suffered by small-boned o.
rheumatic men, and by fragile women
who have fallen into the hands of ont
: of these fervid giants, and who happeI
to have rings on their fingers wheI
- the cruel clutch is effected Blu
worse even than this class of squeezers il
that of the cliRgers;: the people who, hav
ing once got hold of your hand, refuse t.
, let it go, but use it as they %ould. your but
ton-hOle, or as the Ancient Mariner uset
, his glittering eye, to compel you to hear a
= they have to say giving it at interval
: little pressures, motions or vibrations, as
running accompaniment to their twaddle
= of all the kinds of shakers above describes
+ these clingers are undoubtedly the mos
: pestilential; and when, as is occasionall,
: the case, they combine squeezing witt
: clinging, they are simply unendurable, an'
ought to be treated as creatures that out
i u rage society.
T There are very few people who do no
y partake, in a greater or less degree, Of on
u or more of these faults in hand shaking
If any reader has hitherto been accustome
/ to think that hand shaking is a less Difficult
e form of salutation to execute we'll than
G bow, let him consider carefully, in one c
his moments of deepest consciousness, hi
n own mode of shaking hands; and when h
4 has done this, let him consult candl
! Y friend on the subject-Sdtprddg, Ree'e'0.