The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1870-06-02

(AoubtAos " ~ wall bc tuc uE8D
TO inauguratc q new era In summer
country costumes2
Why Aunt sally Never Got
Married.
Now Aunt Sally, do please zen
US why you never got married.
You know you said once when
you were a girl that you were en-
gagged to a minister, and promised
you would tell rs alf about 1t some
time. Now Aunt, please do.p
swell, ifeyer I did see such girls
in my born days. It's tease, tease,
from morning til night, you
must know al about everything
you haven't any business to know
anything about. Such inquisitive,
pesteriferous critters as you arel
When Twas young girls were dif-
ferent; they minded their own
business, and didn't 60 sailing
around with a whole string Of
beaux, getting their heads filled
with all kinds ofnonsense, I never
asked my aunts, married or single,
about any oftheir affairs. Pretty
mess I'd got in If / had When
they offered to tell me anything of
their own accord / kept my mouth
shut and listened. Everything is
different nowadays, young folks
have no respect for their elders
But as / see that lam not going to
have any peace till do tell you,
why just listen, and don't let me
hear a word out Of your mouths till
get through"
"That's right, Aunt Sally; go
right ahead, do, and well keep
perfectly still"
swell, you see, when I was about
seventeen years old l was living in
Utica, in the State of New York.
Though I say it myself, I was quite
a good-looking girl, then, and had
several beaux. The one that took
my fancy most was a young minis
ter, a very promising young man,
and remarkably pious and steady.
He thought good deal ofme, and
kind of took a fancy to him, and
things ran on until we were enga-
ged. One evening he came to me-
I remember it as well as If it were
yesterday-when he came into the
parlor where / was sitting alone,
he came up to me and-but pshawl
girls, / don't like to tell the rest"
20, Aunt Sally, for mercy's sake
don't stop; tell us what he didp'
"Well, as I said, he came up to
me and put his arms around me,
and rather hugged me, when I got
excited and some frustrated; it was
a long time ago, and | don't know
but what l might have hugged him
back a little. Then l felt-but
now just clear out, every one of
you, / shan't tell you any more"
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt
Sally, tell US how you felt. Didn't
you feel good2 And what did he do
next?"
30, such torments as you are!
was like any other girl, and pretty
lsoon l pretended to be mad about
lit, and pushed him away, though ]
wasn't mad a bit. You must know
Z that the house where / lived was
on one of the back streets of the
town. There we're glass doors il
the parlor, which opened right ovel
the street, and no balcony or any
thing of that kind in front of the
!. house. As it was in the summel
season, these doors were open ant
the shutters drawn to. l stepped
back o little from him, and wheI
/ he edged up close l pushed hin
away again. Ipushed harder thai
: / intended to, and don't you think
girls, the poor fellow lost his bal
: ance and fell through one of tn,
doors into the street. Yes, it's so
As he fell l gave scream anC
, caught him-but-I won't tell any
, thing more. I'm going to leave
the room"
"No, no, Aunt Sally. How die
you catch himP Did it hurt hin
much%
, "Well if l must / must. AS he fel
= head first, and as he was going
3 caught him by the legs of his trow
} sers. l held on for minute ant
tried to pull him back, but hi
T suspenders gave way, and the poo
: young man fell clear out ofhis pan
falcons into whole parcel of la
dies and gentlemen passing alon;
Z the street"
{ 20, aunty, aunty, lordy, lordy 7
/ "There, that's right; squeal ant
, gigglc as much as you want to-
Girls that cannot hear a little thin:
: like that without tearing aroun'
: the room and he-he-ing in such
way don't know enough to com
home when it rains. A nice tim
| the man that ever marries one c
: you will have, won't he? Catch m
: telling you anything again."
But Aunt Sally, what becom
: of him? Did you ever see hil
: againT'
2 "No, the moment he touched th
: ground he got up and left the plac
in terrible hurry. l tell you
t was a sight to be remembered t
: see how that man run. Fathe
d happened to be coming up tn
t street at the time, and he said h
o never saw anything to equal it !
t his whole life. l heard Others sa
+ he did the fastest running eve
known in this part Of the countr,
# and. that he never stopped and lool
II ed behind until he was two mile
3 out of town. He sent me a note
=, few days afterward, saying that th
Il engagement must be broken of,
he could never look me in the fat
" after what had happened. He wel
y ont Vast and I believe he is spreacl