The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-12-08

ticient exercise. Third, good air, and
not too warm room. Fourth, free
dom from too much care. Fifth a
clean stomach. s.-, .#v-s-s ~.
A CAPITAL JOKE, and all the
more palatable because it is true, and
can be vouched for, took place few
Sundays since at one of The promi-
cent Fourth street churches. 1t seems
that worthy deacon had been very
industrious in selling new church
book costing about seventy-tive cents.
At the service in question, the minis
ter just befo.e dismissing the congre-
CATION, rose and said; : I. ALL you
who have children to bsptfse, will
please present. them next sabbath"
The deacon, who by the way was a
little deaf, and having an eye 10 SELL
ing the books, and supposing the pas
tor was referring to them, immediate
ly jumped up and shouted: And
all you who hayn't any, can get all
you want by calling on me, at seven
ty-fyecents EACH"
The preacher looked cross-eyed at
the brothers, the brothers looked at
the clergyman, the audience punched
each other in the side, the bubble
grew larger until it burst into a loud
guffaw. Ladies colored up, crimson
ed, blushed and thanked the Lord for
the low price of peopIeing the earth.
There was no benediction that morn
ing worth speaking of.
The deacon, after he found out his
mistake, changed his Eew from the
front of the church to the third from
the rear; end though he cannot hear
the sermon, he is consoled with the
reflection that the young ladies can't
snicker at him.-Neso Jersy Patriot.
DEBT.-Debt is perfect bore. How
it haunts man from pillow to post !;
lurking in his breakfast cup, poisoning
his dinner, embittering his teal How
it stalks from him like living, NOV
ing skeleton, seeming to announce his
presence by recounting his liabilities.
How it poisons his domestic joys by
introducing it's internal balance" in
to the calculation of madam respect
ing a new carpet, or q new dress
How it hinders dreamy plans for spec
tators, and cripples resolutions too
good to be fulfilled. At bed and
board, by night or by day, in joy OF
in grief, in health or in sickness, at
home or abroad, debt-grim, gaunt
and shadowy, falls as an incubus. As
no presence is too sacred, no ground
too holy to deter the memory bills
and notes payable" from taking i'm
mediate possession, SO no record is
enlivening, no reminiscence more than
the debt has fallen like a January
morning, twenty-nine degrees below
zero.
A FAIR HIT.-Two wags passing
out of town on the Galveston road
says the Kansas Tribune, were struck
|, with the beauties of, Lawrence:
Whose place is that" said one o.
!, fthem.
/, "That is the Iordly residence O.
Maj. Geo. A. Reynolds. It cost ovel
[ thirty thousand dollars"
What is his business?"
"Indian Agent"
"What is his salary, and how Ions
has. he held office Pa 3
Two years, at fifteen hundred dol
!, lafsa a year.. x5I{A,E
9Lordl What did the honest fel
low do with the rest of his salary 2"
:. g sStartsd his brother and two 6the
: honest men in the newspaper bushes
to denounce corruption 5gaa9f aurg
: IT used to be the habit, before th
: fashion of printing briefs was8 intro
g duced, and when all the judges sat il
d banco to hear appeals, ,etcp for th
: counsel opening the cause to hand d
g to the Chief Justice the whole pack
age of briefs for distribution anon;
e his associates. One morning Brothe
E.. having spent.the whole nigh
e conviYially at cards, came into coul
d with his bundle of briefs, and Ii