South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1870-08-12

tuEiy SENSATION lbOut MS tongue and ton
sils which gentlemen who rejoice in clubs
will remember as part Of their experience
His wife had left standing on bureau .
tumber,in which--for some purpose known
to bousewiie-she had put small bali Of
sllken thread TO soak. Without observing
this fact Bibulous seized the tumbler, and
swallowed liz contents. Feeling thread
10 bis mouth, be began pulling upon it
To his horror, yard after yard came string
ing forth, until in an agony of excitement
he cried out:
Lucy for Gods sake, come here I'm
unravelling'
Ses'Two friends meeting, one remarked:
4 have Just seen man who told ne |
locked exactly like you
Tell me who it was, that | may knock
him down. replied his friend
Don't trouble YOURSELF said the other,
TOR did that myself :! once
E4-I can't speak in public; | never
done such thing in all my life,' said
chap Tie other night at a public meeting,
who had been called upon to hold forth
Gu! If anybody in the crowd will speak FOX
me, iHhold his hat'
6g-A story is told, illustrating how fast
cities are built up in the West, to tho effect
that traveller laid down on vacant lot in
Chicago to sleep, and in the morning found
himself 10 cellar, with lve-story build
Ing built over him. Occasionally you will
fnd an old fcgy who doubts the story.
HUNGRY Trouble you for some
more bread, landlord. always cat good
deal Of bread with my meat Landlord.
80 / sec, sir And good deal O. meat
with your bread
D2y-A citizen Of Buffalo was passing
through one Of the back streets of that city,
Sunday afternoon, when he both observed
aud heard little boy crying Justify. Ap-
preaching the urchin be Kindly asked =
Why, little boy, what do you p
Looking up into the interrogator's face, the /
preeooi7us Juvenile replied in whining ac-
cents, I've got the bclcr-acho, that's what
want!
~ How heavy you walk ? exclaimed .
Mrs Wackwack, on hearing her husband .
tumbling up stairs the other night 'Wel, /
my dear was tho gruG response, IF you
can get barrel of whisky up stairs with ,
any less noise, | should like to sec YOU
do IT,.
Es'A negro preacher recently, in Vir- /
giria, referring, in q desultory and charac-
terlstic discourse, to the day Of judgment,
said, with great carnestness and fervor -
'Brcdren and sistern in dat day de LORD
shall divide de sheep from dc goats; and
Dress de LORD, he knows which wears de
WOOL
E5' An amusing incident recently occur
red at theatre in a neighboring city, which
illustrated the depreciation of Western Vir.
ginia currency better than tho Detcctors
a company Of volunteers from our town, on
their way to the seat of war, stopped in the
city Of P to be equipped, and some of
the boys spent the evening at the theatre.
The heroine Of the play is desperately in
love with poor young gentleman, but her
wealthy father is violently opposed to the
match. In the last act, however, the 'cru- |
el PARENT relcnts, gives his consent to the .
marriage, and presents his daughter with
large sum Of money. The scene was high /
~ exciting, and the audience was breath .
Iessly silent, when, just as the old gentle .
man hands bis daughter the roll Of notes,
one Of the soldiers (who had q V which he .
couldn't pass exclaimed "Look'cc here, /
old fellow, if that's Wheeling money it
ain worth cent"
Gay Having frequently seen good things
M the Drawer from little folks, give you
the following as a specimen brick from our
Western home
Willie, who IS just entering upon his
fourth winter, had very attonGvoly watch.
cd one Of bis auuts dressing for am eve.
ming party; and az it was summer time.
and fashionable The dress did not come aa
far mp on the neck as WiIio's ideas Of pro.
rrety suggested IIo went to her ward
robe, and 10 a moment came back pul.'..-a
dose fitting basque after him, wh lcfl
lowing conversation cnsuod
aunt What is tia. fory
willie For you 70 put on
Aunt Butl am dressed now look
,..t.. 1.,ft I ~