The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-02-02
spice.


A California paper abuses man because
he backed out of tight after getting both
ears bitten off.
Who is the straitest man mentioned in
the Bible! Joseph, because Pharaoh made
ruler OF him.
A New Haven Republican is said to have
refused to let his child be yacclnated with
virus from Democratic baby.
AN. York swindler advertised "a small
sewlng-machine tor one dollar" When
ever he received dollar he sent TO the
green one shoemaker's awl worth fifteen
cents.
"Si.ence in the courtroom there" thun-
defed police magistrate the other morn
ing; .'tne court mas already committed
tour prisoners without being able 70 hear a
worn vi the testimony. !"
Little three year-old Mary was playing
very rough with the kitten--carrying Il BIZ
the tail. Her mother told her she would
hurt pussy. Why no, Won t." said
she; I'm carrying il BY the handle"
During revival meeting, a good Meth
odist lady made teryent exhortation, pre-
facing &c with the remark tnat she once
enjoyed herself by gong to theatres. An
ilattentiye but enthusiastic brother shouted !;
$50 did I-bless the Lord -
my dear Polly, am surprised at your
taste in wearing another wonian's hair on
your head, said Smith to his VIE. My
dear Joe, Lam equally astonished that you
persist in wearing another sleeps MoJl on
your back. There now!'
\ woman was sentenced recently to one
years imprisonment IN the New York State
prison for murder. The term was made
brief because she Ihad an infant, whereup-
ON the New York Horti recommends to fu-
ture juries verdict oi guilty, with cx-
tenuating babies.
An Indiana man offered s15 for the pri-
yilege Of acting as hanglnan at recent ex-
ecutIon. lie owed the man a grudge, aud
wanted to take this last opportunity Of
dropping the unpleasant subject.
General Smith. in Congress, while deliy-
ering one Of the long, prosy speeches for
which he was noted, mid % Henry Clay
You speak, sir. for the present genera
ton. but | speak for posterity." Yes"
replied the great Kentuekian, 9aud il
seems yon are resolved to speak till your
audience arrives" @ tiN5st9H
A chap out in Michigan wanting wife,
not as an "onament Of society,"" but n,
useful member thereof, thus advertised
ANY gal what's got n bed, coffee pot, .
skillet, and knows how 10 cut out britehcs,
can make hunting shirt, and knows how
70 take care Of young uns, ken have my
services till death parts on u.s."
The mnn who don't advertise has hi,
store hung around with shingles and piece,
Of barrcLbeads, inscribed with lampblack,
Irish Pcrtaters, . = Rorn Mcel," Flow.
err" "All kinds Of kontury produce .
'Ksikes and Handles for sail here" liz
says, There aren't no sens in noospaper
buNeEtlahik " lollk 10 " Mat ~ bHlaTb eluI
10 tend 10 his own business, and kin stand
at the door and boiler The felles in,"
They tell this story at the expense u q
Virginia lawyer: Once upon q time when
he had gained case, bis opponent told
him that he would appeal it,and be repli.
cd: Very well | will meet you at NAL
ichi." But q brother lawyer whispered L
him "philippi, Philippi' '.and agair
be aid: VERY we'll, " adding, .'slalich
Or philippi," they were both good men,"
A handwriting fellow ln an adjoininJ
county. is in the habit whom he return
home from spree, u knocking at th
front door, opening il and sbying biz ha
into the passage. If the bat come
sailing ont again, he picks il up, puts ]
up, puts il on. and goes of till no j. dea,
sober. But II the bat is not kicked out
il isa sign that be may venture in, A
hint this, 70 intempsrats husbands.
Bears are plenty IN Florida, and fat
nine gallons u oil 70 bear.