Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-05-28
FACETIE.

Ready for Whet!-Ihe moSt
difficult thing III the world for a
woman to do, is to get ready TO so
anywhere. And there is nothing
a woman will resent quicker or
more Gerccly than an intimatlon
that she may possible miss the
train. Our friend, Brayfogle,
gives us an instance of this. Mr..
Brayfogle was to take the ten
O'Clock train OH the Bee Line, to
visit some relatives in an interior
town. Having suffered on preyi-
Gus occasions for injudiciOus sug-
geStions, BrayfOgle thought that
for once he would let things take
their natural course. So he 81 ped
bis coffee and ate his eggs and
| tOast, while madam cnrled and
powdered, and danced attendance
on the looking glass, and tied bark
on the back of her head. Then
Brayfogle sat by the stove for an
hour and read the morning paper,
while the madam still continued
to get ready. At last, just as he
had reached the final paragraph
OF reading matter and was begin
ming on the advertisements, mad
am tied her bonnet under her chin,
took one long, lingeringf loving
look at the image reflected III the
glass, and Sweetly announced:
"Well, my dear, I'm ready"
"Ready for what y asked Bray
fogle, in well-afIected astoniSh.
mcnt.
"To go to the depot, to lie sure
said Mrs. Brayfogle, tartly,
oh" said Braytogle, "l'd for
gotten. Well, madam" continued
he, looking at his watch, that
train has been gone thirteen min
utes. just keep Oh your things,
and you'll be ready for the train
tomorrow morning.
We draw q veil over what fol
lowed. We are assured, however,
that next morning Mrs. B. was
ready an hour ahead Of time.
The Rondout Courier gets the
following story from p telegraph
operator in that village: \ mem
Der of the Masonic order tele
graphed to a companion down tht
river somewhere, "AIake room fol
ten Royal Arch Masons. Coming
today Whel the companions
arrived they found a pen had beer
built for their accommodation, th'
telegram at its destination read
inc, snake room for ten RA M'
Coming today
Henry Ward Beecher spoke OF
: Il recent sunday morning on tn
night scenes in New York anl
Brooklyn. He condemned mid
night labor, late parties, SarNto2'
excursions, and after dark walk
: of Young men and maidens. II
made a point that "Good broa,
p streets, well laid out, kept clca'
e and well-Iighted, will have NOR
moral Influences than all churche
and all preaching put together
The five great evils Of life ar
said to be standing collars, stove
pipe hats, tight boots, bad whiSk
and cYoss women. The last lit
the least.
The FATE or 4 FGHTIyG DOG
A man who owned terrier lorg-
4 bob-tailed, ornery cuss-
And that there purp got that there ma
In many an ugly muss;
: For the man he was on his muscle
=" Aud the d0rg was on his bite,
:, 30 10 hlNh iAitN WI t~'ii'''
Was sure to raise fight
A woman owned a Thomas cat,
= That lit at fifteen pound:
And other cats got mp aud Slid
When that there cat WAS round.
The man aud his darg caln'aIong one d
81 Where the woman she did dwell
And the purp he growlcd ferociouoly,
Then went for tina. cat like -
He tried to chaw the neck of the cat,
but the cat he wouldn't be chawed
nj So he lit on the back " that th"re dc
Asd bit! and clawed aud rlawrd.
Oh, the hair it tlew and the purP
yUuled
As the claws went into his hide,
And cluncis of flesh were peeled lr
his back;
,O Then he tlummuxed, and kicked, a
- died!
'Iy The nan he ripped, and cussed, ,ands sTc
AS he gathered a big brlckbat,
That he would be burned essentially
If he didn'tkiil that cat
Bnt the woman allowed she'd be hios
=, if he did!
alO And snagehcd upan old SHOTGUN,
er' Which she fired, ami pcppercd his
'"' phragm
With bird-shot number one.
They steG hisn ha,ne on awindow bll
And the doctor cured him mp
"a But he never was known to light ag'
- Or TO own another pnrp.
u Folls may turn up their snoots Ut
here rhyme,
don't care a cuss for that
All | wanted to show is. that fight
'S' dorgs
MAY tackle the wrong Tom cat
iud "Dan, said a little tour-year-(
49,, Upiye me a sixpcnce to buy a m
is., Hs l,eyp "We've got n monkey
cap the house now replied the el
brother. "Whoisit Dam" "fo
IS. VAS fine reply. "Then give me
ced nence to buy The monkey sc
Az ruts.' His brother could not
iish N",''
sist.
l.. A servant girl, who Ind
re- bepn admoniShed BY her mlstl
= to he very careful in "washtng
- zoo thinOs. WAS OVtrhf