The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-11-29
SMITH IN TROUBLE.

TO question from BOB Smith.
Nonsense" said Bob. How can
you make such foolish statement as
that? The man is not alive who has but
one fault; VIC all have scores of faults.
1t is only when man practices one par
ticular vice that we put all other frolics
out of sight, and say, he has but one
fault" myself used to be one of these
first-rate fellows who had but one fault,
and most unlovely course of sprouts
did have to go through to effect cure.
the rock upon which split was dar-
ling sin that did most easily beset me-
From boyhoud | was afflicted with an al
most irresistible propensity for indulging
in practical jokes; many troublesome
scrape did l get myself into, and many a
friend did lose by this means. But
nothing, however serious might be the
result, could deter me, when an opportu-
nifty offered, for practicing my absurd
sport. If the victims were angry and
indignant, [ only laughed the louder, and
wondered that they could not see the
fun of the thing. But at length one of
my most exquisite jokes recoiled on my
self with SO much force that l can never
even think Of practical joke without
squirm at the disagreeable recollections
the thought suggests.
AS 1 was ascending the steps of the
Exchange reading room, one day about
two years ago, saw, little in advance
of me, my intimate friend Dick JONES'
Accelerating my pace to overtake him, I
observed the corner of large pocket
book protruding from his coat pocket.
"What careless fellow that Dick
Jones is !" 1 said to myself. 'Pll give
him lesson that will make him more
careful in future. And coming close be-
hind him, l adroitly transferred the we'll
filed wallet from his coat pocket to my
breeches pocket; then falling back among
the crowd that is always coming and 60
ing change hour, I entered the room by
another door, waiting the moment when
he should discover his loss, to step for.
ward and give him his wallet, and
strong lecture at the same time.
II had some little difficulty keeping
him in sight, as he rushed hastily hither
and thither, bowing to this man shaking
hands with that, and having few words
with another. l managed to follow him,
however, taking care that he should not
recognize me, and chucklng at the con-
sternation it would occasion him to find
his pocket-book missing. Presently he
put his hand behind him, started, and
turned round, for the first time giving
me view of his face. Great Jupiter
it was not Dick Jones at all, but gentle
man had never seen before in my life.
Here was predicament. AS the enor-
nifty of the act Of which I had been guilty
presented itself before me, I was COM
pletely overwhelmed; the blood rushed
to my head as though was about to have
an attack of apoplexy, and for moment
everything swan before my eyes. Re-
covering myself with an effort, / started
forward, but only to see the gentleman l
had robbed vanish through the door at a
high rate of speed, and almost instantly
become lost in the hurrying crowd.
What was to be done? Why return
tne gentleman MS pocket-DOok at once,
of course. But how? / didn't know
who he was? True, the contents of the
wallet might reveal that, but with what
face could I seek out the injured man
and say, " My dear sir, here is your pock-
ct book which l stole from you a short
time since. am sorry for the theft, and
now return the property The only
apology I can offer, is, that I mistook
you for another gentleman, whom l sup
posed might rob with impunity 2 What
would the deeply-injured and badly
frightened gentleman say? and, above
all, what would he do? Would he not,
with righteous and just indignation say,
You confounded, contemplate thief,
and pick-pocket, you have been the cause
OF my having note protested to-day !;
you have occasioned me shocking loss
of. valuable time you have prevented a
splendid bargain /; in short, there is no
end to the evils that have resulted from
your atrocious crime Your story of the
mistake is palpable humbug and you
only return the property because you
feel certain of being detected before you