Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-11-11
CURRENT ITEMS.

| AN OUTLINE-A clOUneS-llne on WASH
days. M as ~
MERE MATTER OF Fitting a
| dress.
| THE Washington Life issues policies on
all improved plans. s5a2
| WHAT military command is best suited
to an egotist rs right.
| A VOLUME that will bring tears to your
| eyes-a volume of smoke.
THE man who would keep his head cool
shouldn't put stove.pipe on it.
Why is worn-out shoe like ancient
| Greece? Because it once had a SolOn
| (sole on.)
| ONE of the pleasafftest kinds of husband
ry is that of destroying widows weeds.
/ A GOOD protection against misfortune is
policy in the Mutual Life Insurance
Company of Chicago.
THE United States fifty-cent piece con-
| tains five cents worth more silver than the
Canadian half dollar. a
THERE were recently confined in the Jail
at Cleveland, O., five murderers, four OF
them wife-murderers.
| THE Rev. Mr.. Broderick, of Mt Pleas
ant, Iowa, married couple recently, and
| received in payment for his services four
cucumbers.
ACCORDING to the United States census,
there is a servant girl in E 'ansville, Ind,
| 16 years old, who owns real estate worth
| $50,OO0
DURING the past six months, two old
buffers of Joliet, ILL.,, have played 10,S00
| games of "seven-up," and the victor was
| only four games ahead.
/ @~11o En oh frQu
| eler saws that he has travelled three times
round the globe, and seen but two classes
| of people-men and women. 85
A GOOD many men with 'honor" enough
| to fight a duel about some fancied insult,
| will take advantage of dark night to
| 'jump'' a board bill.
CARE you not alarmed at the approach of
the King of Terrors ?" said the minister to
a sick man. "Oh, no; | have been living
six and thirty years with the queen OF ter
rors-the king cannot be much worse!'
A CHICAGO boy being asked if he had a
mother, said he didn't know, as he hadn't
! been home since morning, and when ne
left his father and mother were quarrel
| ing, with odds in favor of his father, as
he had the hatchet in his hand.
| A FARMER near Muscatine, Iowa, who
has an aged father in his employ at cheap
wages recently lost child. The old man
attended his grandchild's s funeral. On set
tlement, the farmer "docked" his father
| for the time he lost in attending the child's
| funeral.
AN Ohio youth who desired to wed the
object of his affections, had an interview
with her paternal ancestor, in which he
stated that although he had no wealth
worth speaking of yet he was "chuck full
of work" He got the girl.
IT is stated that one of Brigham Youngs
sons is about to marry f1ourishing female
seminary at Salt Lake City-all but the
principal and the teacher of music, who
are excepted, not from any fault of their
| own. but because one of them is a married
woman and SO years old, and the other a
Frenchman.
A FAT pupil in one of the schools of
Beverly, Mass, was in the act OF sitting
down, when the shock of earthquake
shook the building, which the teacher at
tributed to the abrupt manner in which the
lad took his seat, for which offense he was
required to stand three-quarters OF an hour.
A MAN in Sonoma, Cal, who was too
lazy to chop feed for his aged horse, deter
mined to sharpen the teeth of the charger,
SO that he could dc his own chopping.
The experiment was a success. The horse
died under the operation, and it was not
discovered until all the teeth had been filed.
On some railroads it is customary to
have a lock on the stove, to prevent the
passengers from meddling with the fire. A
conductor, being asked why they locked
the stove, replied that 1t was "to prevent
the fire from going ont .
THE Titusville Courier gives this as a
sample of bookkeeping at :" Red Hot" in
/ the oil country. "Jim Wilson commenced
boarding here the day the big tree fell.
Tom Horner one week after Received OF
i Jim Wilson (5) dollars the day Jack got
i drunk. Paid his whole bill the day
4 Smiths well was torpedoed."
AN English paper, while reviewing the
execution of the "baby farmer" Mrs
Waters. substantially says that justice Is
not appeased by hanging her, but that II
would be if the mothers who gave theil
infants to such guardianship could be detect
ed and severely punished.
JUDGE TAPPAN, of the Kings County
IN. W Supreme Court, has decided, IN .
case involving $4,000, that marriage il
nerfectly legal where the parties promised
to live together as man and wife, and tha
f child born before the marriage ceremony
was performed is legitimate
THE wife of a farmer in Western
New York thought she was eloping will
the family cow doctor, few nights ago
but found her own husband in the COW
: doctors clothes when they arrived at th
t hotel of their destination. The matte
a was fixed up and good supper followed
A MAN claiming to be John Jarvis, wn'
q was carpenter of the United States snil