The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-02-10
WHAT A LITTLE COY THOUGHT.

am little boy about so many years
old: don't know whether am a good
little boy, but / am afraid not, for l
sometimes do wicked things, and once
/ cut sisters kittens tail off with the
chopping knife, and told her big dog
came along and bit it off and swallow
ed il down before Kitty could say Jack
Robinson; and sister said she was sorry,
and it must have been very naughty
dog; but mother did not believe me,and
said she was afraid i had told lie, aud
Pm afraid / had. So then she asked
me if i knew where liars went to, and
said yes-that they went to New York
and wrote for the newspapers; she said
no-but lake of fire and birthstone,
and she asked me if / would like to go
there, and said no; for l did't think
there would be much skating or sliding
on that lake, and the boys couldn't
SNOWFALL either on shore; and she said
it was worse than that, just as though
that wasn't bad enough, for l don't
think they could play base ball neither.
Then she asked me if / wouldn't like to
be an angel and have harp, and said
no; I'd rather be stage.driver and have
o big drum, for I couldn't play on tother
thing. No, i shouldn't like to be an
angel, for their wings must be in the
way when they play tag and leap frog,
and besides it must be hard to fly when
one amt accustomed to it. But it would
be Jolly to be stage driver and have
q great long whip and touch up the
leaders, and say "g'lang there, what are
We doin' ont" / should like that much
better'n' flynn; and then mother said
there was dreadful stage of sin, and Bob
hollerod and said that he guessed l
was on it," and then she whipped us
and sent us to bed without any
supper; but i didn't care for any
supper, for they hadn't nothing
but bread and butter and tea, and Bob
and me got up and he lifted me in at
the pantry window, aud we got mince
pie, and q whole hat full of doughnuts,
and they thought it was the cook that
stole 'em, and sent her away the next
day, and Bob said he was glad of it, for
she didn't make good pies, and the
deughnuts wasn't fried enough; and
sometimes do swear, for said by sol-
" the other day, and sister heard me,
and she told mother, and mother said
was bad boy and would bring her
gray hairs to the grave, and she whip
ped me, but / don't think it did her
gray hairs any good, and it hurt me,
and when got up stairs / said goll
darn it, but / said it so she didn't hear
me, and when she asked me if l didn't
think / was very wicked, / said / was
afraid was, and was sorry for 1t, aud
wouldn't do so any more, and then she
said was good little boy, and told
me about George Washington, who cut
down the apple tree, and was caught ut
it, aud said he did it with his little
Ratchet, lust as if hadn't heard all
about it before, and didn't always think
he was big stupid for cutting wood
when they had hired man about the
house, and Dublin his little hatchet,a and
besides it would have been great deal
jollier to let the trees be, so as he could
have stole apples off in the fall. l don't
care if he was the father of his country,
he wasn't smart, and bet yen the boys
in our school would cheat him out of
his eye-teeth swoppin' jack knives, and
! could whip him and hardly try,
and / don't think he was very healthy
either, for / never see good boy that
wasn't always sick and hal the humps
and measles, and the scarlet fever, and
wasn't coughing all the while, and
hadn't to take castor oil and tar water,
and couldn't eat cherries, and didn't
have to have bis head patted till the
hair was rubbed off by everybody that
came TO his mothers, and he asked how
old he was, and what he'd been study.
ing at school, and how far he'd got, aud
&c and 20 haun
to say his catechism; no. j shouldn't |
like to be good little boy; I'd just as
lief be an angel and done with it; l don't
think ever shall be good little boy,
and other psople think so too, for l
wasn't never called a good little boy
but once, and that was when my uncle
asked me where / stood in my class and
I told him it was next to the head, and
he said / was right, and he gave me
quarter, and when he asked me how
many boys were in the class, and l said
there were only two, myself and little
girl, and then he wanted me to give
him back his quarter, and ! wouldn't,
and he ran after me and stumbled over
a chair, and he broke his cane. and hurt
himself, and he's been lame ever since,
and I'm glad of it, for be isn't my
father, aud hasn't any right to lick me,
for i get enough of that at home, and
the quarter wasn't good either. don't
like Uncle John, and guess he knows
it, for he says amt like any of the |
family, and he says he expects I'll 60
to the sea, and be a pirate, instead of |
member of society, and ! |
should not wonder, for I'd rather be a |
pirate than a soap boiler like him,
and / don't care if he is rich; it's
o nasty business; and shan't have
TO be o pirate either, for one can
make lots of money without that;
and they are always talking to me
about being rich and respectable, and
going to Congress, and being President,
and all that sort O. thing; but / don't
want to be President; there is Lincoln,
he was President, and guess he's sorry
for it now; and there's Andy johnson,
guess he don't like it much either; oh,
know how things are done; but there's
Bob calm me, and we're goin' birds
nestin', for know where there is nice
yaller birds nest chuck fall of eggs;
mother says it's cruel and the birds don't
like it, thst1 wouldn't like to have my |
eggs stole IL l was bird, and l don't |
think l should; but amt a bird You
know, and that makes difference, and |
if you want to print this you can, for |
next to being stage driver and a |
pirate, ! would like 10 be editor, for
you fellows don't have to tell the truth,
and you can 90 to circusseS without