The Hillsborough recorder., 1870-03-16

Suicide having Of late become 10 staple
an item Of current news that wives for their
husbands. mothers for their sons, and young
ladies for their lovers, are in hourly dread.
The following story of the folder time" !"
which has never yet appeared III PRINT, and
which demonstrates the efficiency If home,-
pathic remedies in the treatment Of moral,
as well as physical diseases, may uot Be de-
void Of interest:
About aiglstceu yeaTs ago ar uld larli'er
living III the nSighborhood. being compicte-
ly psychological with the soul-ripping
thought the spouse Of his thorax was per-
mitting his spirit image to mildcw in the
yentricle Of the centre Of her circulatory APP
paratus, while that Of far less worthy
knight Of the hoe hung conspiculously in the
right yentricle Of said organ, decided upon
voluntary exit from ..thcse low grounds
Of sorrow" by means Of readily improyis-
ed gallows. Procuring sea-grassropc, be
selected round pole joist in his LOG stable,
and with great deliberation secretly fixed
the ..day and the hour" in (which be would,
with one end Of the rope tied to bis neck
and the other end thrown over the joist.
pull himself BY main strength into ctcrni-
ty.
But in the mean time his wife. BY hook
or crook-probably by crook---not black
one though, for she was white woman
discovered his purpose. and used her best
''indeayers' to persuade him that lie was
her only ..feller." and that she wanted him
to ..still liye." But no. Tie ..ha'r was
sct;'' the primitive yeoman could not Be
'.gulled," /" and was bound to 20 out. All
the fearful entreaties Of the cole 'omern'
had no more effect upon his ..hard fsted'
will than struggling mocnbeam woald
have on polar iceberg. The tino ..hay-
ING fully Gomez for the execution Of lis
design, he gathered up bis rope and went
to the stable, his wife following with sobs
and entreaties, and mournful CALCULATIONS
and screaming threats of '.rasin the neigh
borhood."
AT this juncture and just as the dead
set ruralist, having secured his neck IN 3
moose, had flung the loose end of the fatal
cord over the joist. his nephew. John Cmig
a lad Of about eighteen years. much distin-
guished for his sparkling wit and keen ap-
petite for ''deyilment, rushed into the
stable. quickly closed the door. hooking !;
on the inside. and shutting the Old lady out.
This done, the boy pounced with the cello
rity Of a cat upon the free end Of the rope,
snatclled It from the uncle's hands, trium-
phantly exclaiming:
..NOw, Uncle, I'll be id If wedon't
show aunt Sally that she amt smart enough
to stop this business. I've always had
mighty hankerin' to see man hung. and
d-n old Roper il this amt my chance.
So, heaye, OH Up you 20, old hos. q
And John .'hauled away vigorously.
drawing lie old man about two feet from
tie ground, whercupon the latter frantical-
" caught hold Of the rope above kis head
and piseously gasped:
johnny, for Co.'s sake let 'er down
II give ye farm r ye will.''
After choking bis dangling. kicking
fOunciug nucle till-as be expressed it,
he thought ..the average was sufficiently
reduced. John lowered Linn till III could
touch bis toes 10 the ground, aud still hold
ing the rope fnaly in his hands. sid:
''0ld hoss. do You want to liver
Yes" was the willing but feeble re-
lily.
.Will you swear that you'l ! never oct tho
d--d fool this way again5
II SWEAR I. John, by all is goo-d'n
bad"
''And You'll give MO farmf" letting
the Old man little lower down.
eyes, Jonny, m hos, too"
John thon entirely released his repeutan
uncle and told him that he wouldn't have
either tie farm Or the ..hosa:" that he
'jc,t wanted 70 teach him that life was
wo'th sump'm. and that common sensc was
a handy thing to have about the house. .
John Craig may have been ignorant Of the
technical incoming q ',simlu simiiJuscs-
rOstar." but hc evidently understood iIs
practicable application.