The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1870-08-03

And the cheeks, tear-washed, are whitest,
This the blessed angels know.
Let us reach within our bosoms
For the keys TO other lives,
And with love TO erring nature,
Cherish good that still survives;
SO that when our disrobed spirits
Soar to realms Of light again,
We may say, Dear Father, Judge US
As we judge our fellSw-men."
Plain people-the Indians.
A thrilling tale-the mathematics.
A Scapegrace-A man late at dinner.
The slave Of ring-a new-made wife.
Can a baby be called a screaming facet
Smugglers-Men who edo" their duties
Garden bugs and humbugs are thriving
Houssmaid's HI rticulture-Makin beds.
An air ofimportance-One's first breath.
The Oldest lunatie on record-Time Gut
of mind.
June roses-all the blooming girls about
own.
A good guess at a tailor's name-Mr.
So-and So.
Burglars Advertisement-Goods care
fully removed.
What's in an aim, if you can't hit the
bulls eye.-Judy.
Melancholy trse-The 10eePing willow
and the pine applet
Who lives in any other way than from
hand to MOUTH
The leading pillars of the community
just now are the eatterpillers.
What an asthmatic artist cannot draw
"a long breath.-PuRchineHo..
May a Judge who retires from the bench
be said to lay down the law2
Why is an infant like a diamond? Be
cause it is a "dedr haIe thing"
Train tells the Fenians that Defeat is
Victory" Inspiring thought
He that pursues two hares at once,
don't catch one, and lets tother go.
What sort of legs does a factory mule
go ulon2 Spindle-shank, of course.
Why is an account-book like a statu-
ary's shop Because it is full of figures.
Some Of the Mississippi boatmen may
be sharp, but their boats are mostly fat.
What is the sun by trader A tanner.
Any fool may start a humbug, but it
takes a genius to carry one On.
The most powerful men sometimes
doubt their pc Rer. The feeblest never.
It is said that with a Yankee, every
day is day of reckoning"
Keep company with good men and
you'll increase their number.
If a quack would be famous, he must
be sure TO quack as loud as possible.
Wanted frkin of butter churned
from the milk of roses"
What is the best tar for making the
wheels Of life run smoothly? The altar.
Why not send Yates as Consul to Rome?
Hefs the noblest Rum'un of them all.
The new three-cent postage stamps
ought to hold out well-They are long
enough.
Extraordinary feat of nature-Jumping
from winter to summer without a spring.
Wanted to know-When an officer kiss
es his wife, does he give her a military sa-
lutte?
The most popular editor of The Young
Woman's Guide-young men from Ito Is.
The young lady who is unable to sport
a riding habit, should get into a walking
habit.
When does the donkey prefer to eat
thistles rather than hay ? When he is q
jackass.
Why is the devil a gentleman? Be
cause the imp Of darkness could not be
imp-o'-lite.
Why is the first chicken like a fore
mast Because 1t is Just before the main
hatch.
The smaller the calibre Of the mind,
the greater the bore of 4 perpetually open
mouth.
Why is a tobacconist a very worthless
tradesman? Because he puts hls own
commodities.
A paper asks why it is that butchers
meat has not fallen? Does it not go down
every day?
Why are a pin and a poker like a blind
m2n2 Because they have a head and no
eyes.
What kind of essence does a young man
like when he pops the question? Ac-
quiescence-
When a large widow weds q little man,
should he be called the widows mite? He
might.
my dear" said the sentimental Mrs.
Waddles, "hOme you know, is always the
dearest spot on earth" "Well, yes" said
the practical Mr.. Waddles, 1T does cost
me about twice as much as any other spot"
A lady whose husband, an officer in the
army, was ordered TO Fort Larned since
the indian trouble, refusing to accompany
him, as "she had but very little hair on
her head. but what she had she preferred
to keep"
The Cinnamon won't be obliged to take
their cue from the Crispins, as they all
bring their queues with them.
In New Jersey they take lunatics out of
the State, shove them out OF the cars and
leave them on the platform to rave.
Their. is a man in Florida nine feet and
six inches high. He enjoys good health
and is evidently long for this world.
A great brute of u husband" is adver-
Using in the papers for a strong, able
bodied man to hold his wlfe's tongue.
Idleness is like the nightmare-the mo-
ment you begin to stir yourself you shake
it of.
What kind of boats are the streets of
Canton like? "Dug-outs"-we should
say a mud-scow.
ITS the voice of the sluggard, 1 hear
him complain" as Paddy said when he
heard the pig grunt.
When Il hen q rOSstsr7--at night.