The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-06-24
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THREE VIEWS OF THE SANE THINGS.

"
So we are still. John has a sister.
have wife. His possession came to
him in the ordinary course Of nature
Mine came to me by the extraordinary
process of cOurtship. We are now joint
prOprietOrs; his natural claim and my
vested right being in one and the same
individual. used once to to think her
pretty little simpleton, as her brother
John said she was. My appreciation
of her beauty remains unchanged. But
as to her simplicity, l am in progress
of conversion. And [ am free to con-
fess that when the honeymoon, now at
its height, is fairly over, I shall proba-
bly, be ready to cOncede that she is as
wise as she is good, and as good as she
is pretty. Ifshe can bedeemed foolish,
it is for marrying me. Out of respect
for her, I am determined to set that
question at rest. l will vindicate her
wisdom, by proving myself a model
husband.
The man whose dear male friend and
chosen associate has a charming sister
is in a dangerous case; that is, if mat
rimOny is to be regarded as q peril.
am not quite prepared to say. In some
regards it certainly is perilOus; to your
dead-latch key, for instance, your to-
baccO-pOuch, your rough and ready hat
and coat, and your rough and ready
habits generally. Women of address,
and especially those who hide their
|cleveTness under the mask of charming
simplicity, like my pretty little Bessie,
can revOIutiOniZe you before you are
aware of what they are doing. No
doubt, too, husbands modify the char
acter of their wives. "They twain
shall be one flesh is not a meaning
less declaration. The man becomes, in
part, feminine; the woman slightly
masculine; and the twain in one, the
dual individuality, is the perfection of
humanity, physically and mentally
| But L must stop this strain, or l shall
| be rejected for prOsiness, and be invited
for my brilliance and perspicacity to
lecture before ambitious Iyceums On
| the Functions Of the Unintelligible."
John Smith likes practical jokes.
don't think that I do, especially when
Pm the victim. My marriage was the
result o. Sbractical joke, or long series
of jokes, by John Smith. 1t was not
that he had any such definite idea 6f
our marriage fixed in his mind, but
that he Systematically misTepresented
me to her, and her to me. Now, though
l have no complaint to make Of my
/ wife, and haYe not the slightest wish
that / could be unmarried again, still
rebel il thought, ut the mode in which
edly, was brought about
Bessie Smith used to say, before her
individuality was merged in mine, that
she was Very glad her brother had Sc
cured so safe q friend as [ was. She
had great confidence in my honor, my
sObTiety and intelligence; and admired
my refinement, my correct tastes, and
good habits. She did not deliver all
this in so many words, or at one time;
IL Lot,
theT acted than spaEe at all, and never
! did either directly to me. But she was
| evidently pleased, entirely on her bro
! theirs account, that he had fallen into
such good hands. And so was her mo-
| ther; and more than pleased.
And herein lay the practical joke !;
! though to-day [ cannot see the fun of
| it. John Smith, for reasons of his own,
manufactured for his own household q
! highly exalted opinion of me. Young
men who will go out every evening Of
their lives, must find an excuse. And
| was John Smiths excuse. He rep
resented me as a model in manners
and a Mentor in cOmpaniOnship and
his dear mother (nOW mine by mar
! riage) thought he was entirely secure
and untempted in my society.
So, indeed, he would have been. But
Justice to myself requires that I should
say that John Smith was not always
| with me when he was out of the sight
| Of his feminine relatives. l confess to
some cOmpaniOnship with him in his
frOlics, but not to participation in all.
Bessie, before our marriage, thought me
perfection itself. May she continue in
the same opinion! If that gTaceless
rogue, her brother, does not betTay me,
she will remain satisfied of my unsul-
sled moral excellence. BygOneS must
be bygOneS. EencefOTth, "tilI death
do US part" my wife and me, 1 am, /
repeat a model man. John Smith
/ must find q new crOny in his sky-lark-
ing pTOpensities. And he must, too,
maintain u reasonably good character,
or I shall be suspected; unless, indeed,
l can make my wife believe that my
love for her so engrOsses me that
cannot give myself to the guardianship
of her brother any longer, and that the
removal of the restraint of my presence
leaves him to go astray. Mem To
stick q pin here. It will be good
plea, " hen John breaks out. And it
may be useful on occasions when
want an evenings libeTty.)
. have a Iatch-key. / bought it with
f the house, which contains all modern
improvements. But Bessie always had
a habit Of waiting up for her brother
. John; and, l am sorry to say, retains
it with her husband William. It is a
great restraint on the liberty of the sub
, iect. ! suppose that it cannot be help
} ed. You cannot quarrel with your wife
| for her affection, incOnvenient though
To- that affection be. The only cOmprO-
, mise IS to take your wife with you,
, when you SEED an evening out. But
. she is not good at billiards, and does
2 not fancy game suppers. So l must
| -.F1I fn hlFr NggTrllTnB and PnnnTf
4 myself on my return for an affectiOnatG
S review and inspection. Her eye were
enough, if she would be satisfied with
{ seeing. But the scrutiny is not cOnfin-
, ed to siZsht. She must nos only look
r. but taste. She will persist in kissing
I me welcome. All the famous nOStrumS
Y to sWeeten the breath are 50 many
/ forms OF confession, and / have giyel
! them up.
Z The standard amusement Of JOIN
I Smith Is teasing me. He expects some
. dav to bring out a development which
S viii tease. my wife. He induced Bes
$ sic 10 believe, before we We're married
\ that he could not live without me
= Why, then, cannot he drop in AT OuI
= house now, in a pleasant, social way
And when hs is heTe to tea, why can
4 not lie wait the evening after, WheI
$ Bessie offers him the freedom of thu
: tI-tll44-fp1nl 10 SblD4Nc MS CiSttI III -
; Why cannot the man blow n clouC
e with me sometimes in our quiet home
,, It would 50 remove complications
il Now, l am, afraid his bachelor antic
% will one day spoil all Such awful TO
q mancing as he used to indulge in re
a specting himself and me; about m
especially, making my poor self such
model that 1 am living under lie eve
t. ~ day; and he, the william, enjoying
II it
/ He makes me feel as if I dwelt on tn
ss crest Of q volcano, and might expect
d any hour, a terrific explosion. He