The union Democrat., 1870-01-01
NUMBER 30
The Lawyers and the Cats.

Two Arkansas lawyers were Iomesticsted
in rude hotel of a country town. The hotel
was crowded, and the room allotted TO our
two heroes was also occupied BY six or eight
others. Shake,down beds. enough to accom-
modate the guests, were disposed about the
room, against the four walls, leaving an open
space in the center Of the apartment.
Judge Clark lay with his head to the north.
on one side, and Judge Thomas lay with his
head to the south, on the other Size Of the
room. So far as that room was concerned, II
might be said that their heads represented
the north aud south poles. respectively.
All the other beds in the room were occu-
pied. The central part of the room was
deemed neutral ground, in which the occu-
pants of the different beds had equal rights.
Here in picturesque confusion, lay the boots,
hats, coats and breeches of the sleepers.
There were no windows, and though the door
was open, there being no moon, the night was
very dark in that room.
The willy lawyers who had been opposing
counsel in q case tried in the town court that
day, and had opposed each other with the
contumacity of wild pigs, were now the very
incarnatons Of meekness, for when the hun
cry swarm of mosquitoes settled down and
bit them on the one cheek, they slowly turned
the other to be bitten also.
" But hush hark
A deep sound strikes the ear like q rising
knell
"Me-ow-ow !"
Judge Clark and Thomas were wide awake
and sitting bolt upright in an instant.
Again the startling cry
"1e-ow, ye-ow!"
There id cat !" whispered Clark.
''Scat, you !" Missed Thomas. ......
Cat paid no attention to thess demonstra-
tions. but gave vent TO another yowl
"Oh, Lord !" cried Clark. II can't stand
this where is she, Thomas ?'
''0n your side of the room somewhere, re-
piled Thomas.
''No, she's on your side, " said Clark.
"Ye-ow, ow-ow ~ .u .r.ar
"There, told you she was on your ride"
they both exclaimed in breath.
And still the 'yowP went on. ear
The idea now entered the heads of both the
lawyers, that by the exercise of certain STRAIT
egy they might be enabled to execute GER
tain flank movements on the cat, and totally
demoralize him. Practically each determin-
ed TO file "a motion to quash" the cats at
tachment for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself, and, in the
dark, unable to see each other, prepared for.
action. eaf feBa Il
Strange as it may appear, it is nevertheless
true, that the same plan suggested itself TO
both. In words, the plan would be about as
follows: sol gaH
The yowler is evidently looking and calling
for another cat, with whom he has made al
appointment. will initiate q cat, and TINS
cat will come toward me, and when he ehaA
have arrived within reach, I'll blaze away
with anything can get holGAof, and knock
the mew-sic out of him. Stg
So each of the portly Judges noiselessly as
cream comes to the surface Of the milk, V hoist
ed himself on to his hands and knee. and,
hippopotamus fashion advanced to tho neH-
trail ground occupying the central portion Of
the room. -.f4t1 e.ss
Arrived there, Judge Clark selected boot
jack, and Judge Thomas heavy cow-hide
boot, from the heap, and settled themselves
down to work etH m&se
Clark frightened his grip on the boot.jack,
throwing up his head, gave vent to prolong-
ed and unearthly "Ye-ow-ow ~ that would
have reflected credit upon ten of the largest
kind of cats. f bt
''Aha," thought Thomas, who was not elk
feet away, she's Immediately close around.
Now I'll inveigle him |" and he gave regu-
lar dark night call of a feminine cat.
Each Of the judges now advanced little
closer, and Clark produced questioning
GOVT ow ~
Thomas answered by re-assuring "Pur-
ow pur-ow !" and then they advanced lit
tie more.
They were now within easy reach, and each
imagining the cat had but moment more to
live, whaled away, the one with his boot, the
other with his bootjack.
The boot took Clark square in the mouth
demolishing his teeth, and the boot.jack came
down on Thomas bald head Just as he was in
the midst of triumphant "Ye-ow"
When the lights were brought the cat had
disappeared, but the catastrophe was in opp',-
site corners of the room, with heels in the air,
swearing blue streaks.