The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1870-04-21
"A good side show "A pretty cheek.

The shades ofnight-Window curtains.
Some grocers show their grit by sanding
their sugar. sN 1g
An Indiana man gave his hens hot water to
make them lay boiled eggs.
Many men nourish wicked contempt for
cold water They hate the bucket and con
sequently, soon kick it. .9 as6
"Roast beef" said boarder to a waiter
"How will you have it, sir?" swell done,
thou good and faithful servant" t"E
Never put flea into gossipping PERSONS
ear. You do not know what buzz it may
raise around your swn.
A Jerseyman, in reply to the charge that
women can do no fighting in time of war. saws
his wife does nothing else. ,a
A Yankee paper saws, in an obituary notice.
that "the deceased had been for several
years Director of bank, notwithstanding
which he died a hristian, and universally
respected.o 4a lih 9a3a Ia
Gentlemen" said gambler on a Missis-
sippi steamboat, detected with two aces in
mis- oat-sleeve, gentlemen, feel owe you
an explanation"
The following marriage notice recently ap.
peared in Cincinnati paper Young-Mar-
Gin and others-in Salt Lake City, on the 10Th
ultimO, in the presence of the Saints, Brig.
ham Young to Mrs. J B. Martin, Miss L. NJ
Pendergrast, Mrs r NJ Jenkinson, Miss Su-
L W. L H.
th. county of Bcrks England.
Hahnemann, the founder of the Homeopath
ic school was one day consulted by weaI.
thy English Lord. The Doctor listened M.
tiently to the statement which the patient
made to him. He then took small vial,
opened 1t. and held it under the Lords nose
"Smell Well, you are cured !" The Lo@l
ssI ed, in surprise. "How much do 1 owe
Won ?" Thousand frances" was the reDlv
The Lord immediately pulled out bank note
and held it under the Doctors nose. "Smelll
Well, you are paid ~
The assertion so frequently made that IL is
impossible to arrest the flight of time is al
together erroneous, for who is there that can.
not stop minute.
A man may be ever so poor, he may be ev
er so unfortunate, but ne need never he hard
up for candles so long as he makes light O.
his sutferings.
A rude fellow once told Mr. Barnum he baf
never exhibited anything that wasn't a bare
faced humbug "Yes have" said Barpum
1.-THE bearded lady wasn't barefaced y
A female lecturer said SECT married
young men, and be quick about it, Dom
wait for the milleniun, for the girls to becom
angels. You'd look well beside an angel
wouldn't you, you brutes~ .a +.
''Ha!' exclaimed an imaginative preach
er, in the midst OF an overweight seImo
descriptive OF heaven, methinks l hear
whisper y Sir, rejoined deacon, rising i
bis seat close to the pulpit, 81 presume it.
the boys in the gallery }"
In the neighborhood Of Boston once liy,
two clergymen, one of whom was remarkab l
for his dry humor, and the other for his pre
lxity. The former meeting the latter. aske
him to preach for him at his Sc Preparation
Lecture The latter replied that he coul
not. as he was busy writing a sermon o
the" Golden Calf.'' That's just the thing,
was the reiolnder. come and give us a for,
quarter of It."
There is man In the vicinity of Cede
Keys. Fla, who has twenty-l NO children liz
ing. The family subsist principally on ifs
and oysters. They have never had plat
nor a cup and saucer in their house. In lie
OF cups they use gourGs and shells.