The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-02-25
HOW sMITH ASKED TINE OLD MAN.
"BhRe's RICHNESS. "

Smith had Just asked Mr.. ThompseL IS
daughter if she would give him lift
out of bachelordom, and she has said
Yes"
1t therefore become absolutely neces-
sary to get the old gentIeman's per-
mission, so as Smith said. the arrange
ment might be made to hop the conju-
gal :wig.
Smith said he he'd rather pop the in
terrogatories to all Of old Thompson's
daughters, and his sisters. and his lady
cousins, and his aunt Hannah in the
country, and the whole OF his female re-
lations, than ask old thompson. But
it had to be done, and so hs rat down
and studied out speech which he was
to disgorge to old Thompson the very
first time he got II shy at him. So Smith
dropped IN OH him on Sunday evening,
when ali the family had meandcred "a
round TO meeting, and found mm dsing
sum in beer measure.
"How are you, Smith ?" said old
Thompson, as the former walked In,
white as piece Of chalk, and trembling
as il he had swallowed condensed
earthquake. Smith WAS afraid to PAN
swer, because he wasn't sure about the
speech. He knew he had to keep his
grip upon it while he had it there or it
would slip from him quicker than an
oiled eel through al auger hole. So he
blurted out:
MI. Thompson-si sir: Perhaps it may
not have been unknown to you, that
during IN extended period OF some five
years, have been busily engaged in
the prosecution OF commercial enter
prise"
lis that SO, and keepin it secret all
this time. whils ! thought you were
tendin' store? Well, by George, you
are one of them, now Amt your"
Smith had begun to think it all over
again, to get the run Of it.
"Mr. Thompson-sir, perhaps it may
not be unknown to you that, for the ex-
tended period of five years, 1 have been
busily engaged in the prosecution OF a
commercial enterprise, with the deter :
mination TO secure sufficient mainte-
naHce--'
"Sit down, Smith, and help yourself
to beer. Dou't stand there haldin' your
hat, like a blind peggar, with paralysi
| have never seen you behave yourself
SO queer in all my born days"
Smith had been kaocked out again,
take fresh start.
"Mr Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
unknown to you that during All extend
ed period of five years | have been en-
gagged in the prosecution of CONNER
ciai enterprise with the determination
to procure a sufficient maintenance-'
"A which anceY" asked old Thomp-
son, BUT Smith held on to tho last
words as ii it was his only chance, and
went on:
s'In the hope that some day | might
enter wedlock, and bestow my earthly
possessions upon one whom could call
my own. l have been lonely man,
sir, and have felt that It is not good for
man to be alone; therefore would"
Neither is It, Smith; Pm glad you
dropped in. How's tho old manf
"Mr. Thompson, sir ?" said SmiIh In
despairing.confusion, raising his voic, 10
yell, alt may not be known to you
that during an extended period of a
lonely man, have been engaged to en-
ter wedlock, aud bestow all my enter
prise upon one whom l could determine
to be good for certain possessions-no,
| mean-that is-that-Mr. Thompson,
sir: 1t may not be unknown"
"And then again, it may. Look
here, Smith, you'd better lay down
and take something warm, you amt
we'll"
Smith, sweating like four year old
colt, went IN again.
"Mr Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
lonely to you to prosecute me whom
you friend for commercial maintain
auce, Observation-Disclosures it--Mr.
Thompson, sir:-If--"
''Oh. Saith, you talS like a fool. l
never saw more tirst-class idiot in the
course OF my whole lie. What's the
matter with y ou, anyhow"
"Mr. Thompson, SIR" said Smith, in
an agony OF bewiiderment, it may not
be known that you prosecuted lonely
man who is not good for a commercial
period of wedlock for some five years
but"--
"See here, Mr.. Smith, you're drunk
and II you can't behave better than
that you'd better leave; II you don't I'll
chuck you out or I'm Dutchman."
"Mr. Thompson, sir" said Smith
frantic with despair. "It may not be
unknown to you that my earthly pas
sions are engaged to enter wedlock five
years with sufficiently lonely man
who is not good for . com mercial mann
tenance--
1.-The deuce he isn't. Now you just
get up and git, or I'll knock what lit
tie brains out ofyoa ou've got left,"
With that old Thompson took Smith
and shot him into the street as II he'd
run him against locomotive goirg at
the rate of forty miles IA hour. Be-
fore old Thompson had time 10 shut the
front door, Smith collected hls legs, and