Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-08-09
Lunch fO7. Has2,aOrists.

The best aid in fighting hot weather-iced
lemonade.
A great benefactress of Egypt-Isis. A great
blessing in this countryside is. 4.
A very clever distinction-A lover is suer
An heress-hunter purse-suer.
She who can compose cross baby is greater
than she who composes books.
r. It auy evidence because woman has
mobile face that she is native OF Alabama.
How can man have quiet time in the
mountain when he goes over the hills and hol-
lows?
A colored man at Akron, o., was struck by
lightning on the head, and went Oft laughing
at the joke.
''Where there a will there's way" as the
woman said when she wiped the dishes with
the door mat, a8
1t is said that all japanese women can read,
write and CIPHER. An exchange says I'm
civilized nations men 'sigh-for them.
A Cape May hen thought she had soft
thing when she found torpedo on the Fourth
of July, but, when she pecked it, 1t went OFT
and friccaseed her all over the garden.
Quincy, H., has just had her first colored
Juror and her first courtroom row. The JUS
tice adjourned to have his nose sewed up,
which was split by tie white foreman OF the
jury.
Here is profane conundrum, for which the
independent is responsible What is the diff
ference between temptation and eternity One
is vile of devil and the other devil OF q
while
A man in South Hadley, who has just got
out of law suit, wants to obtain large framed
picture of COW, with one client at the head
and the other at the tail, pulling, and the law
yers meanwhile quietly milking.
A colored woman took the premium at Tex
as State fair as dentist She inserted set
of teeth into the arm Of one of the committee
men. because he alluded to her color, and he
gave her diploma on the mouth with his fist
A gentleman, travelling in Tennessee, was
obliged to stop in farmhouse for the night,
owing to the scarcity of hotels During the
progress of The evening meal he observed an
urchin Juggling at a loaf of bread At length
the urchn cried out: Granny, thars har in
this bread" The old lady remarked that it
was only piece of corn silk. Corn silk -
exclaimed he, ''how comes corn silk to have a
nit on il? That's what | want to know"
People who enjoy the discontinue of lawyers
land who does not p will laugh over this Incl
dent: Il call upon you," said the counsellor,
to state distinctly upon what authority you
are prepared to swear to the mares age?
Upon what authority p said the hostler, in
terrngahvely. - -v
''You are to reply to- and not to repeat the
question put to you. ~
Il doesn't consider man 8 bound to answer
a question af5re he's time to turn it in his
mind"
Nothing can be more simple, sir, than the
question put Iagain repeat it. Upon what
authority do you swear to the animals age?.'
The best authority" responded he gruf1y.
"Then why such an evasion? Why not state
it at once2'
SWELL then. if you must have it,
"Must! will have it'' vociferated the
counsellor. interrupting the witness.
We'll, then. if you must and will have it, !"
rejolned the hostler, with imperturable gravity
why, then, | had it myself from the mares
own mouth"
A Simultaneous burst of applause rang thro'
the court, and the judge on the bench could
with difficulty confine his risible muscles to ju-
dicial decorum.