The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-02-13
WIT AND wIaDOM.

"ieiia, Trying TO arrest the rain.
railways are aristocrati they teach ever
nan. man 10 know his own; station, and to stoi
I'm be round this way again in a min
ute" as the second hand said to the men
dulum. VIZ Pon
=, w no is the straightest man mentioned il
the Bible Joseph, because Pharaoh mad,
ruler of him. -''N
why are the cobblers eligible for medica
HplomasF Because they're all skilled II
he art of healing. -
Il lady who drew gents morning-wrap
PT at the fair some time since, now wants
afan to put in it. N
1t strikes me-" began an orator. either
wy don't you strike it back 2" inquired q
sator among the audience.
Why is a dog longer in the morning than
a!Pfghe Because you take him in al
"pt ana let him out in the morning.
N Alabama young lady, caught smoking
:. Pa; gave as her reason, that " it made
IL neii as though there was man around {,
h., sney are a narrow-minded people who
io Win contempt upon prominent sing
ts soS because their prominent business is
| shat bird is that which it is absolutely
necessary that we should have al dinner.
Iahsyet need neither be cooked nor served
supt "A swallow.
1Bub," asked perplexed pedestrian.
Vnlch IS the quickest way for me to get
20 ehe Eastern depot. Accommodating
s,eysboy, "Run."
The young lady who wished she was a
Earq changed her mind after dinner on
christmas day, when she saw how little
EVas left of the turkey.
An old lady, gazing with establishment
lpon an elephant in menagerie, asked
Nie keeper, What kind of a beast is that
Eating hay with his tail ~
"Mynheer, do you know what for we call
our boy HansP" " do not, really" "Well.
ltell you. Der reason that we call our bow
sEans is-it ish his name."
am indeed very much afraid of light
9ng'" murmuTed pretty young girl dur
~ storm. ana well you may be-" said
adespaIrlng lover, " for your heart is made
20 Steel" y
=" cannot imagine" said an alderman,
why my whiskers should tur. gray so
mich sooner than my hair.n "Because."
Sad wag, "you have worked so much
hrder with your jaws than your brains.n
/ lady has a Sunday-school class in one
. the churches. Two brothers attend it
eternately One Sunday the lady asked
allowing Sunday. "Oh, no." saws he, az
cant; it's my turn to saw wood''
k"Why do you drive such u miserable
to'klng carcass as that-why don't you put
2 leavier coat of flesh upon him 9'' said a
nsn to an Irish cart driver "A heavier
Spt, of flesh! BY the powers, the poor
N'thur can hardly carry what little there
u IN him now.o
T. poverty stricken Frenchman, being
afolsed by his wife one night with the in.
191natlon that there was a thief in the
heise, calmly answered, "Hush don't let
us disturb him let him ransack the house,
apt If he finds anything of value we'll get
w md take it away from him."
was the late Mr.. Justice Hays who, on
thetrial of the case of Woodcock VS.. Bird,
insnply to remark of the Lord Chief JUS
uqe that 1t wasta pity that two g Birds "
shcild pot live in harmony, replied, eyes,
it = my lord but my client complains of
the lenSth of the plaintiff IS bill"
III Frederick Adam spoke with strong
Scech accent. One day, when inspecting |
Ieyiment, he noticed that the tnft of a |
soper's shake was missing. The man was |
an rishman and bit of humorist
:. Y,ere's your feyther, my mon 2" "Hes
repE. 'p'
Recently a rector of parish in Toledo,
Chip in catechsing his Sunday school,
aske,, Where did the wise men come
rom" Without moments hesitation
the answer came from little five year-old,
" run Boston!" The father and mother
OF tn little catechumen are natives of the
" hubr
, a )ompous clergyman once said to a
'nubty faced lad, who was passing him {
"ltholt raising his hat, DO you know I
VINO am, sir, that you pass me in this un- {
nanntrly way7 You are better fed than
aught, l think" "Wa'al, maybe it be so, {
MISTER said the boy, "for you teaches me,
m 1 feeds myself"
A gentle Quaker had two horses, very
!ood and very poor one. When seen
iding the latter, it was always known that ! !
us peter half had taken the good one
w hat is the reason" said q sneering
achel9r, "that your wife always rides the =
etter horseP The reply was, " Friend, :
7hen thee'H be married thee'n know i
AN Old woman received letter, and sup n
oslng it to be from one of her absent sons, /
ne called on a neighbor to read it for her. v
le accordingly began to read, "Dear mo- v
i1r, ana made pause to find out what r
'io"ed, as the writing was rather bad, n
hen the old lady exclaimed, go, tits from q
y Jenny, he always suffered a bit, poor
A clock is like man. 1t has two hands, a a
ce, an inside and an outside. Sometimes N
,e hands point to the truth-but it is not
named to show it's face when they don't a
is q useful bit of machinery-so is man. u
oi1en gets out of order-so does man. IL
10 oiteh wound up-so is man. 1t strikes p
80 "oes man. 1t is not always to be relied
no more is man. a
q Town East paper says that persuasive