National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1870-06-10

The youth who was told to rise
early, because his brother by so do.
ing had found purse, replied that
the fellow who lost it must have ris-
en- earlier still. .u.t,,
A Goldfish breakfast and an Indian
rnbber oyercOat will keep a man
dry all day. II -r.r
a paper.mill at COlOes has just fill
ed an order for sheet of paper four
feet wide and twenty five miles long.
Can 1t be that Mr.. Seward is about
to write letter on the Alabama
claims
Stephen, the famous guide at the
Mammoth Cave, used to say that
more visitors came from Europe to
view that subterranean wonder than
from all parts of the United States
combined.
Two Cincinnati attorneys, in re-
cent suit, were somewhat surprised
when they found that they had ex-
changed clients, but it did not make
any material difference, as each law.
yer had secured his retainer in ad-
vance.
is my face dirty ? asked a young
lady from the back woods, while seat.
ed with her aunt at the dinner table
on n steamboat running from Cairo
to New Orleans. Dirty! No. Why
do you ask = Because that insult
ing waiter insists upon putting .
towel beside my plate. I've thrown
three under the table, and yet every
time he comes around he puts an.
other one before me-
1t is very curious that men never
know they have grey hairs. The
discovery is always made for them
by other people.
What's the difference between an
Overcoat and baby! An Overcoat
is what you wear, (were) and baby
is what you was.
An admirer Of dogs, having q
new litter of fine breed, was re-
quested by friend to put him down
/; for puppy. Sir he said, Il set
you down for one good while ago.
where's your filial gratitude, you
naughty boyi What would you
1 have been, without your kind father
4. and motherF Il s'pose as how I'd
been an orphan, SIR
A man was lately imprisoned in
Milwaukee for beating his wife. AS
S he was locked up, he said, I've one
$ comfort, anyhow, that Pm not sent
f Jail for doing mean thing
!. that you believe you have n call
to preach, is all very well, as tar as
it goes said an old doctor of divin.
ity to theological student; 'bnt,'
he added, I'VE must wait and see
whether people think they have
/ call to hear YOU
AS Pat Hogan, recently arrived
emigrant, sat enjoying his cOnnubial
= bliss upon the banks of Il southern
creek, he espied turtle emerging
, from the stream. 'Oh, hOneyr he
+ exclaimed, that iver should cOme
), to America to see u snuff'box walk
. 4 correspondent says that beau.
! ties generally die old maids. They
set such u value on themselves, that
they don't find purchaser until the
| market is closed. Out Of u dozen
l beauties who have come out within
! the past eighteen years, eleven, he
says still remain single.
4 'Why, Mr.. Jones, are you drunkr
4 exclaimed Mrs. j., as her husband
= came staggering into the house, late
|, ut night. 'N--nO, my DEAR said
q Jones, 'n-not d--trunk, but only
I diz--dizzy fr--frOm looking ut the
r. iel--tcllers go round on their clos
|. sipedcs!
Z An impndent lawyer Of this city,
:. meeting u soldier with very full
y whiskers, said, Il say, my dear fel-
= y low, when are you going to put yOnr
y beard on peace footingr Not
nntil y0U place your tongue on the
-, civil list was tlpc rstort.
y A Burlington HOwa) lady has ad.
" vanced so far in wOman's rights ~
! !, to go the BARRIERS regularly to be
- shaved.
A yonng lady being told by a
X friend that silk dresses were vepy
ii much worn, replied that she knew
y it, for hers hal two OF SlIrec holes
D in it.
A slOveisly fellow describing his
ills to u physician insisted on telling
~ what he had tvie,l, well" inquired
/. the doctor, have you ever tsied .
,f clean shirt =
:, Patrick was asicJ why be wrote
.. y 40 large hand. Sure said he, 'it's
y to me Ould mother who's lsie, and
I'm writing her u loud letter.
=, An enragcd father had jerked hie
d provoking son across his knee, and
n was slapping the urchin with great
u velsc,nence when the young one dug
&c into the parental legs with his ven.
D. omOWs little teeth. sBlases! what
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