Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1870-06-02
A Mysterious Visit.
BIZ MARX TWAIN,

sdlu uC was dH dSSSeSOT, anu COu-
nected with the United States
Internal Revenue Department.
| said l had never heard of his
branch of business before, tut /
was very glad to see him, all the
same-would he SIT down? He
sat down. ! did not know any
Wing particular to say. and yet |
felt that people who had arrived
at the dignity of keeping house
must be conversational, must be
easy and sociable in company
So in default Of anything else to
say, / asked him if be was open
ing his shop in our neighborhood.
He said he was. RI did not
wish to appear ignorant, but Ihad
hoped he would mention what be
had for sale. ]
/ ventured to ask him chow
was trade?" and he said "So-so.
/ then said we would drop in
and if we liked his house as well
as any other, we would give him
our custom.
He said he thought we would
like his establishment well enough
to confne ourselves to it-and be
never saw anybody who would go
off and hunt up another man in
his line after trading with him
once.
That sounded pretty compla-
cent, but barring that natural ex.
preston of villainy which we all
have, the man looked honest e.
nough.
do not know how it came a.
bout, exactly, but gradually we
appeared TO melt and run down
together, conversatiOnally speak
ing, and then everything went a.
long as comfortably as clockwork.
We talked, and talked, and
talked-at least / did. And we
laughed, and laughed, land laughed
at least he did. But all the
time, | had my presence of mind
about me- had my native
shrewdness turned on, "full head,
as the engineer says. | was
determined to find out all a.
bout his business, in spite of his
obscure answers-and | was de-
termined l would have it out Of
him without bis suspecting what
| was at. / meant to trap him
with deep, deep ruse. L would
tell him all about my own busl-
ness, and he would naturally SO
warm to me during this seductive
burst of confidence that he woul d
forget himself and tell me all a.
bout his affairs before he suspec-
ted what | was about. thought
to myself, my son, you little know
what an old fox you are dealing
with. | said:
"Now you never could guess
what made lecturing, this win
ter and last springH'
"No--don't believe l could to
save me. Let me see-let me see.
About two thousand dollars may
be? But no-no, sir, / know you
couldn't have made that much
Say seventeen hundred may be!
"Ha hal / knew you couldn't,
My lecturing receipts for lastspring
and this winter were fourteen
thousand seven hundred and ff
teen dollars. What do you think
of that?''
"Why, it is amazing-perfectly
amazing. / will make a note of
it. And you say even this wasn't
alI2"
"Ahi Why, bless you, there
was my income from the Buffalo
ErpreSs for four months-abouI
--about--wen, what should you
say to about eight thousand dol
lars, for instance?"
"Say! Why 1 should say
should like to see myself rolling
in just such another ocean of at
Auence. Eight thousand! II
make a note OF it, Why, mani
and on top OF all this | am to un
derstand that you had still more
Iincome?"
"Ha-ha-hal Why, you're only
lin the suburbs of ii, SO to speak
There's my book. The Innocentt
Abroad'--price $3.50 to 81, &C
cording to the binding. Listen t
me. Look me in the eye. Du
ring the last four months and :
half, saying nothing of sales be
fore that-but just simply durins
the tour months and half end
ing March Is, 1870, we've SOLD