The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-04-09
WIT AND WISDOM.
PUDDINe FOR LAwYERs-Suet

PUDDING FOR LAwYERs-Suet
WHERE there is no law there il no free.
dom.-JohR locke.
IT is said that fowls are the most eOono.
mical things farmers can keep, because for
every grain they give peck.
THREE THINGS THAT NEVER AoRKn.
Two cats over one mouse, two wives in one
house, and two lovers altar one young ladv
81 WISH, Sally" said an incautious
swain at Parkersburg, "that YOU were
locked in my arms, and the key lost"
A coLoRED lady, bOasting the other dav
Of the progress made BY her son in arith
metic, exultingly said q He is in the morti-
fication table"
WISDOM does not show itself 50 much in
Precept as in life-in 6rmness Of mind and
mastery ofaPPetite. II teaches us to do as
we'll as to talk; and to make our words and
actions all Of n color.
JOHN RUsKIN says: ct u only bY
labor that tbcught can be made healthy,
and only by thought that labor can be made
happy"
NAFGna ~ book Of sweet and glowing
purity, and on every illuminated page the
excellence and goodness of God are diyinelv
portrayed.
BASE all your actions upon q principle of
right preserve your integrity Of character,
and, doing this, never reckon the cost.
No OBJECTION farmer out West.
announces his willingness to take q wife, de-
clares that as be is himself i'm clover, he has
no objection to take lady in iOesds.
A WAC, passing by house which had
been almost consumed by FIRE, inquired
whose it was. Being told that it was
hatter's "Ab," said be, "then the loss will
be felt !"
AT one Of our common schools, the
teacher in catechising bis scholars, put the
following question; What was made to
give light to the world ?" +" Matches
cried one OF the youngsters, aftcr a short
pause.
GLAD.-An eccentric banker was eyeing
with suspicious caution bill presented to
him for discount. "You need not fear"
said the customer, zone Of the parties keeps
his carriage" "Ah," rejoined the banker,
" l shall be glad if he keeps his feet"
"A NEGRO parsOn in the West. preaching
against the love of money, concluded his
sermon by saying: " "And finally, brethren,
you can Judge what God thinks of monev
BY the class Of people be gives il to-"
A MONTANA vigilance committee caught
q very obnoxious character, set him on bis
mule, and told him be had precisely fifteen
minutes to leave the country in. He
replied, " Gents, If this mule don't balK,
five'll answer.
JOSH BILLINGS says: Before | would
preach the Gospel az some ministers are
obliged to, for $50 dollars . year, would
get living as Nebudkennezzer did, and let
the congregashen 20 tew grass too"
I BELIEVE that the greatest efforts Of in
tellect have almost always been made while
the passions are In their greatest vigor and
before bope loses its hold on the heart, and
is the elastic spring which animates all our
thougts.-Hdzltn
AS divorce is somewhat Of fashionable
topic nowadays, the following decision, by
Judge pretty well known a number Of
years ago, in a divorce case, is aProPoS
After bearing the testimony, His Honor
gave the opinion: From the testimony Of
the parties themselves, given in this case,
it bias been clearly shown that this man and
woman are just fit to live with each other
and no one else. The case will be dismissed
at the cost ofthe petitioner"
"AND you have been married, Patrick,
three times, haven't you.
Yes, indade, sirf"
"And what do you think of it Which
wife did you like the best p
"Well. Beckey O'Brien, that married
the first time, was o good wOman-tOo good
for me; 50 she got sick and died, and the
Lord took her
" Then got married to Bridget Flanna-
gan. She was bad woman and she got
sick and died too, and the devil took her.
"Then, fool that was; I got married
to Margaret Haggerty. She was WORSE
very bad-so bad that neither the Lord nor
devil would have her 50 / have to keep
her myself"