Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-12-22
Frfalss Of & witness:

"a aioaa Trials Of a witness:
Mr. PuNcH1NELLo CAS- all people seem
to come tooyou with their troubles and
grievances, l. hope youowill not refuse to
listen to my AND whether they. are
woes or not I leave you to judge foryour-H
self. Hols.aH sdI sFab1uia2 eli
At the b~eginning.of the week Lmade N.Y.
first appearance in any courtroom in the
character of a witness IN the case, of Val
entine against Orson, in which the point
in dispute was the ownership. of attract OF
land in Wyoming Territory. I knew some-sa
thing in regard to the sale of these lands,
and was fully prepared TO testify itolthe e&
tent of my knowledge in the premises but
judge of my after surprise and horror on
being obliged to go'through suchan ordeal
as the following extractssfnom1 my exami-
nation will indicator has nisR varEa11
The counsel for the plaintiff commenced
by asking me if l was a married man, and
when 1 had answered'that i EVas,She said
"Is your wife a believer In the princi-
pies of the Woman's Rights party?
Icould not, for the life of me see what
this had to do with ,thaeh Ind jntWyouipGI
but I answered that 1 was happy to say she
was not.&4 ssH I0t 1etios9S m d Hrv
The examination thenproceededsas fol-,
lows: 5tiys- Iol sYI9s ~ yaAgaOJ Sc.
@. You ara happys then, in; your matri
monial relations D. A. Yes. land iremem
bering the oathl reasonably soaT ~,,ey,.l
O. Is your wife pretty? a witness
remembering at once his oath and his
wife's presence in court) She is pretty. 90
Q. What are her defects? A Witness
remembering only his ,wife,s presence)I
have never been able to discovef them
@. Do you swear iannelf IA Hes, in
winter.
O. Can you testify upon your oath that
I cam AAEXE ~SN,a =
FQ.ANow be careful in you "
fWhatdo you wear in the spring and falI2
A. II wear my common clothes.
Q. With flannel sor without fapnsl2
a. SomethAes with, and Sometimes WITH
exactly when you wear dadhsl i Wien
you do not. s
brought ont the factfthat twore flannel
when the Weather was old Or cool and
did not wear it when it was mild, or
Is Q. Have you a lightning rod on your
houseglA. 1 have. so 70 u9ifibI "a.
4 QLHow much did it cost you to have it
put upR "A. 1t has not cost me anything
See 8. IS gHat t0 81 you sMes sIsT ANozE
hs q f aass SSS's any money vitEy6sEfBS@
A. have. &T0fT [~@ ~
313Q. How muchl A. tCountfng contents
of portmonnaie) iSixty-two cents Z "a
Q. Where did you get that? A. .Cwfh
@, Were you present when defendant
I first offered his land for sale to plaintiff?
A--Rrightening up IsWas.3na srAn
g. Have you ever been ~vaccinated? A.
On which arm A. The left.
- 20 A.
this land to plaintiff, who were presents
A. WITNESS speaking with hopeful viyac5
> fty, as If they were now, coming to the
%eEitS Of .s the S o9sei2 EsssR R4 { ftssSSsSSl
Q; Do yoauss the old Dq PRlnion s9s;
fSs,P s3t in your gf h hoy la1dAr ps ss99a1y}
10. What kind of a cofEee-pot do you
use Z A&A common tin one.
g You are giAiagrtO syssT i vas zig;
, Q. Has your wife any sistera9dA She
has two. Anna and ysns; e1osaLtmi,
8. Are either Of them as pretty as you
q. Have You uuahy shiiSisnix A F%0,4
8 Q. Have they had themsasleSA a They
" @. Has any other person inydur1 house
had the m ss Al ! Mhayyee hfaadS4 them y
dQu my WIG has udQ IucIu.
Q. How do youaknow your wifehas had
them? A She told me so.
@. Then you did not see her havethemi
A. No. sir. -N9A@e E3WsSA
@. We want no hearsay evidence here
!, how can you swear that she Mas Had then
o when you did not see her have them 4? IA
a She told me SO, and / believed her.
Q. Did she taxa aB oatht h4 she hRt
e O. Then, sir, You are trihfhSs Risf In,
u court. Do you understand the obligations
of an oath? A, / do,
n @. Beware, then, that youaare not COM
mitted for perjury. rs yoursgasmetef eve
d frozenp A. Yes, sir. ea+si IsIs seNHs
O. What do you use when the6gssWh
8 not burn, A. Candles. MOO - 7oi sis6 4
& @. How many 10 the 9poundSs A,sNnG
Q @; How do you know there are nine L
the pound?Q A. They are sold as mines,
u 3 Then you never weighed them YOU
3 Counsel, to the Court = May It please
your Honor, this is the second time tina
this witness has positively testified, Sidde
y solemn oath, TO important points ofwhiel
he has no certain knowledge9bI ask tn
d Court for protection for myself and m,
= client. ji = sts ia45 ETo-s sihass =
Here a long discussion tUok place be
70 tween the lawyers and the. judge, and a
the end of it the case was postponed 70
: -four months. / suppose it is expectedsths
~ l will then reascend the witness stand
y but I have determined that whenI enter
courtroom again I shall appear as a Grim
= nal. These fellovsfhaEe m1qh the easies
70 times, and they. run so itherisk, noW-s
days, that their position is far preferable
Is that of the unfortunate witness-PareI
81 ineuo. ~
~ IT is true wisdom to speak<but little {
~ the injuries you have received or the goo
y deeds you have done. ESsU
If = gaFze IfsE
st THE New Albany, Ind, co-operatiy
-zo L..