Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-05-05

now U0lO i WVOO ud0ut N0C40 ! WOU10
infest every department of this iniquitous
was settled; would collect that bill, or
fail as fen my predecessors, trying. I as
sailed the Postmaster General besieged
the Speaker Of the House of Representa-
tives They had nothing to do with army
contracts for beef. l moved upon the Com
missioner Of the Patent Office. said:
aYour august Excellency: On or
"Perdition! have you got here with
your incendiary beef contract at Asti We
have nothing to do with beef contracts for
the army, my dear SIR"
"Oh. that is all very well-but somebody
has rot to pay for that beef 1t has got to
be paid moo, too, or I'll con6scate this old
Potent Office and everything in it,
alt don't make any difference, sir. The
Patent Office is liable for that beef, l
reckon: and liable or not liable, the Pa
tent Office has got to pay for It."
Never mind the details. It ended in .
fight. The Patent Office won. But |
found ont something to my advantage. l
was told that the Treasury Department
was the proper place for me to 60 TO-. /
went there. waited two hours and .
halt, and then was admitted to the First
Lord of the Treasury. said: - 44H
"Most noble, grave and reverend Sig
nor; on or about the 10th of October,
1881, John Wilson Macken-"
"That is sufficient, sir. have heard Of
you. Go to the First Auditor of the
Treasury"
Ibid 60. He sent me to the Second
Auditor. The Second Auditor sent me to
the Third, and the Third sent me to the
FIRST Comptroller of the Corn Beef Di-
vision. This began to look like business.
He examined his books and all his loose
papers, but found no minute of the beef
contract. Invent to the Second Comp
troller of the Corn Beef Division. He
examined his books and his loose papers,
but with no success. l was encouraged.
During that week I got as far as the
Sixth Comptroller in that division; the
next week got through the Claims De-
partment; the third week began and
completed the Mislaid Contract Depart
ment, and got foothold In the Dead
Reckoning Department. finished that
in three days. There was only one place
left for it now. I laid seige to the Com
missioner of Odds and Ends. To his
clerk, rather-he was not there himself.
There were sixteen beautiful young ladies
in the room, writing in books, and there
were seven well-favored young clerks
showing them how. The young women
smiled up over their shoulders, ana the
clerks smiled back at them, and all went
merry as q marriage bell. Two or three
clerks that we're reading the newspapers
looked at me rather hard, but went on
reading, and nobody said anything. How.
ever, had been used to this kind of
alacrdty from Fourth Assistant. Junior
Clerk all through my eventful career,
from the very day entered the Office OF
the Corn Beef Bureau clear till passed
out of the last one In the Dead Reckoning
Division. had got 80 accomplished by
this time that could stand on one foot
from the moment entered an Office till q
clerk spoke to me, without changing more
than tive, and maybe three times.
So I stood there till had changed four
different times. Then said to one of the
clerks who was reading:
Illustrious Vagrant, where is the Grand
Turk"
"What do you mean, sire whom do you
mean! If you mean the Chief Of the Bu-
reau, he is out"
w Ill u0 Vl6It LflC u6ICu tO'uhy
The young man glared upon me while,
and then went on reading his paper. But
knew the ways Of these clerks. knew
Twas safe, if he got through before anoth.
er New York mail arrived. He only had
two more papers left. After while he
finished them, and then lac yawned, and
asked me what wanted.
Renowned and honored Imbecile. On
or about
"You are the beef contract man. Give
me your papers"
He took them, and for long time he
ransacked his odds and ends. Finally he
found the Northwest Passage, as i regard.
ed it-he found the long lost record of
that beef contract-he found the rock
upon which 80 many of my ancestors had
split before they ever got to it. was
deeply moved. And yet / rejoiced-for
had survived. / said, with emotion, "Give
it me; the Government will settle now"
He waved me back, and said there was
something yet to be done first.
where is this John Wilson Macken.
zie?" said he.
"Dead."
"When did he die 2"
"He didn't die 1t all--he was KILLED."
"How?"
Tomahawked"
"Who :omahawked him."
"Why, an Indian, of course. You
didn't suppose it was Superintendent of
a Sunday School. did your"
"No An Indian, was its"
"The same"
"Name Of the Indian?"
"His name! I don't know his name"
"Aust have his name. Who saw the
tomAha viking donew
81 don't know"
"You were not present yourself, then 7"
(which You can see by my hair. ] was
absent"
"Then how do you know that Mackenzie
is deadf"
." Because he certainly died at that time,
and have every reason to believe that he
has been dead ever since. knoso he has,
in fact"
eve must have proofs. Have you got
the indiana"
"Of course not"
"Well, you must get him. Have you
got the tOmahawk -
II never thought of such thing"
"YOu must get the t0mahewk. You
- 81 A = - IL - t~s~n