The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1870-11-17
A Hat Story.

stitutlon, mental and social education,
that but few possess il in an eminent
degree. A goodly number do so in
modified munner; that is, il is always
mxed or dashed with some unpleasant
trait; something which may arise at
any moment, and so spoil the occasion.
IL might be "a slight touch of caustic hu.
NOR, an intense appreciation of the ri
diculous, thin skiDnedncss on soma
subject, II weakness toward too much
wine and i cross temper after the sec.
ond bottle In fact, any of these sort of
faiilnss spoil the power Of geuiaIity in
the degree referred to.
What power of dispensing pleasure
the genial man possesses How the
eyes sparkle with pleasure; smiles,
laughter, good humor seem to follow in
his train. His friends parties are never
considered right without him, and they
are begg d to bring him by those to
whom lie may be known only by repu
taiiUn.
At dinners, dances, or picnics-stag,
doe, herd, or whatever the meats may
be--the host or hostess always feels that
the affair will 20 of handsomely if be is
known to b. coming.
One Of these iavorites, a genial spirit
although OF rather grosser order. Eze.
KEEL Perkins by name, resided some
years ago in Hartford, Ct.--a man of
good standing as member of the bar,
bachelor, aud said to have eonsidera.
BILE property; a fact which did not hurt
his popularity.
Now, Mr.. Perkins had a few pecu
liarities; among them, he had an enor
nous head, his hats always having to
be made for him. Then, having rot
one to BIT his immense Uranium, he took
the 7ery useless precaution of puttiag
label Ia the crown thereof, reading,
Ezekiel Perkins, Counselor aud Attor
ney-at-Law, Hartford, Ct"
His peculiar social falling was, that
at all stag dinner parties (and to them
he eottoned the mosD he gpt-he got
well, there is no use ahirking it, be got
rather intoxicated early in the evening.
lie, however, had the faculty of know.
ing when he had got as much as lie
could comfortably carry, and knowing
this, to take his leave.
One evening, Mr. Perkins wended
hls way to one Of the best mansions of
Hartford lie was in full dinner.
dress-blue coat with gilt bottoms, white
vest with black combinations, aud spot.
less liuen. Light he stepped along,
his hat little to one side, swinging his
cane, and humming an air us he went.
tie was in high spirits, in view of spend.
iog an unusually pleasant evening en-.
Joy'ng the affair il anticipation; aud
how often does it exceed the reality /!
Having arrived, and deposited his hat
among number Of others on the hall
table, he in due course sat down TO dinner.
Now, joker, knowing his head and
the propensity to indulge freely at these
meets, determine to have bit Of fun
at his expense. So during the time
which occurred before dinner was an.
nounced, he managed to take the liable
out OF Mr., Perkins hat and affixed it
IN the crown Of the smallest hat on the
table lie then retired and awaited
events. The dinner was as Mr.. Perkins
expected-a prime affair SO that. with
what song, jest, wit, and wine, he found
himself, at the end of capital story by
his host, down to his behring's" as a
sailor would say. Rising from his
chair, carefully steadying himself by the
back, he nodded good by to the host
(he could do no more,) expatiltiug on
The good time he had had and the ex.
ceilence OF that last joke, he got out of
the room with slight lurch only, aud
proceeded to get bis hat.
" Pon me soul, he said. as he craned
aud mooned over the table looking for
his hat--"pon me soul, that's the bes'
joke | ever heard" His utterance was
rather thick. "Yes, au' the bes' dinner
| was ever at" Here he gave lurch
but was steadied by the waiter in at.
tendance in the hah At last, after
swaying about for some time, he detect.
ed his label, and, pouncing upon the
hat containing it, read aloud, aZekeal
Perkins, counsirun--hiccup--turne7-a
law, llartfud, Conetecut. That's INV
hat"
Strengthening himself, he endeavored
TO put on the article in his usual iaunty
style. Ii wouldn't do. lie bent TO il
tri5d both hands, held it to his head
fairly trying to force his head 10, sway.
ing, rocking, staggering the while; but
1t wouldn't do. He was hot aud stupe
lied lie couldn't understand it. Turn.
ing to the waiter, whose gravity had
nearly given way at his gyrations, he
said with great politepess, "Will YOU
blige me by readin' what is in that
hat 7"
Certainly, sir. Ezekiel Perkins,
Counselor and Attorney-at- Law, Hart.
ford, CT"
81 knew il / knew it that's it
that's my hat p And Immediately be.
gan the same performance, but wit
more energy. After some moments Of
staggering, pressing, and pulling, until
he was once more at fever heat, he again
addressed the servant with a still more
mystitied air than before, but a deter.
mination, as it were, to know the worst,
VI beg pardon, but will you be pleased
to tell me who am r.
Certainly, sir know you perfect
ly well. You are Mr.. Ezekiel Perkins.
counselor and attorney at law, here in
Hartford"