The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1870-10-21
HUMORs OF THE DAE.
Musical jewelry-C(h)oral.
Bill of the period-the MOSQUITOES.

=
Bill of the period-the mosquitoes.
A bird on the roast ii worth two on
the rOost. ~
Meats are high, but COWS low
when they are hungry. r.-sr
When is water most Iiable=to es-
cape? When it is only half tide.
Cattle are dumb beasts, but by gct=
ting together in large numbers they
make themselves herd.
Little fish have proper idea of
business. Not being able to do bet
ter, they start on small scale.
What is home without mother2 2"
as the young girl said when she sent
the old lady to chop wood.
Experimental philosophy: Trying
to borrow an umbrella. Moral phil
osophy: Refusing to lend it.
It is said that the frogs in New
York State have worn the skin OF
their noses in roofing for water.
Why can drum be neither a Re-
publican nor a Democrat? Because
it's bound to get beat on both sides.
Jenkins says he only eats once a
day; stiIl he has three meals, rye
meal, Indian meal, and mealy pOta-
| toes.
Horses obey the scriptural injunc-
! ton to a certain extent. Their COM
munications are always neigh, neigh.
It is reported that the fall fashion
| for ladies' hats viii be funnCl-shaped
arrangement, with the small end be-
hind.
One man reprimanding another,
said that he talked like fool. "True,
he replied, but it is that you may
understand me"
An experienced old gentleman says
! that all that is necessary in the enjoy
ment of love or sausages is confidence
waiter, this bit of turbot is not as
good as that you gave US last week.
Waiter-"Beg pardon, sir; it's Oft the
very same fish,
Vocalists are sufficiently jealous OF
each other, but as for brass bands they
never have an engagement without
they come to blows, and the drum
mer, strange to say, alwaj s-beats.
"Sir," said landlady to a boardel
who had sent his cup forward for tho
seventh time, "yOu must be very fond
of coffee % Yes, madame, ] ana he
replied, or never should have drank
so much water to get little"
To Cure Dyspepsia--Close all the
outer doors of four story house
open the inner doors and then take s
long switch and chase cat up anC
down stairs till she sweats. .l7
Chow does that look ?" said ole
Mr.. Smith, holding out his big hand
"That,' said Mr.. Jones, looks as j
you were out of soap"
Texas has a new game of cards
One holds q revolver, the other holds
the cards. A coroner holds the in
quest. We are not told who hold
he stakes, but can easily guess.
In Iowa, a merchant sent dunninI
letter to a man, who replied by re
turn mail; YOn say you are holdin!
my note yet. That is all right-per
fectly right. Just keep holding on t
il, and if you find your hands slip
ping, spit on them and try it again
Yours afTectionately."
A man III New Hampshire has
pair of boots that we're made for hin
, when he was married-thiTty year
: ago. He has only used them for wed
, ding boots since; but he has lost S
: many wives, and welded so mucl
, that they are badly worn. He say
, they can't stand more than three NOR
! | weddings, nor he either.
3 An Irishman who had just lande
: | went to see his sister, who was maj
> ried to Yankee. The couple live
very happy in Chicago, and when Pa
/ | came, the gentleman took him over {
5 his place to show it to him. Pat, 8
r the evidence of his prosperity, said
4 his brother-in-law.
( "Begarra, you are very happy her
/ with this fine property to look on
t my sister had good luck entirely, S
= she had, in getting you for husban
j. "Ah, yes" responded the marie
/ man, we would be very happy bJ
4 for one thingw S
"Ah, Pat" continued the gentle
man, 90 I am sorry to say that we hav
no children"
"No Children ?" exclaimed Pat
thin, Begarra, it's not my sister Mas
: gie's fault, for she had two before ST
left Ireland, and that is the rayson m
father sent her to Ameriky.