The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-07-09
HOME MATTERS.
PEPPRlR AND SALT.


Beemus' shed is SO leaky that he had to 90 out
in the rain Wednesday to keep drythat is, it rain.
| ed harder and wetter inside than outside of the
shed. By opening all the doors the water managed
to run out as fast as it came in. "Bssmer-is now
negotiating for a boat, an umbrolla, and an India
rubber suit. He means to run that Shed" rain
or no rain. They say the "senior" of tho Re.
p'tht'ed', OF this city, denounced the Pope Of
Rome, in recent oratorical 4th of July speech
at Streator. That makes it bad for the Pope.
He'll be apt to "bust" in business when he hears
what the Republican, man has said. :. There's
quite marked difference between a meadow
lark and a city clark" One rises, and scars, and
sings with the sun all the morning; the other
gets on rise" with somebody's son, and rsars
and bowls all night. We were led to these re-
hections on seeing 'the boys" coming home from
the 4th OF July, last Tuesday. Some of them had
celebrated very industriously. They were SO
tired they could not walk. Every few minutes
they would have to lie down on the sidewalk to
rest, and count the wormholes in the boards we
suppose Saw fellow the other morning with
PAIR OF sticking plasters over one eye. "Hello,
Bill" said We, what ails your eye:" WELL"
he replied, 'you see the old woman was handing
me something, when her hand slipped and hit
me on those" Seeing that we were grinning at
him, he started off, angrily exclaiming: "See
here whose running this eye y" "A shah.
by trick trick the Shabbonas of Ottawa,
played on the Eckfords, of Chicago,-beatlng
them at base ball four to one and three over
The Oaks base ball club in Farm Ridge.
went to Lostant and played game with the
Libertys of that place. The Oaks made 1O5
and the Libertys Sc runs (; time only three hours
and half. This is one of the largest games on
record The spectators must have been kept in
fearful state Of suspense during the fe,c fleeing
moments which the brief game lasted E. The
geese that pulled the tubs in that FUNGUS goose
race, are proud about it that they do not asso.
ciate with common geese now. And whenever
they see wash tub they gather around it and
squall vociferously. Saw one of them, wise
old gander, fighting horse hitched up to draw
The gander thought he recognized his own har.
ness on the horse, and was trying to get it....
Minority representation is adopted. That will
give us chance. We have always been in the
minority. Let us see, what Office shall we take
80. Only sixteen fights across the canal on the
evening of the 4th inst The quality of the whis.
Ky over there must be very poor. On this side
we don't consider whisky of any account unless
1t contains, on an average, 6S fights, 012 black
eyes, ., 200 headaches, and an incalcuable amount
OF cussin', to every square inch 49,. 1t would
have been an amusing sight to have witnessed
the exploits OF two wealthy citizens. who live on
the East side who. coming home at a very late
hour one evening last week, discovered the re.
Election of the moon on some upper windows of
the residence Of one of them. Sure that burglars
were at work, they tremblingly entered the
house procured lamp. fire. poker and revo.
yer, and went through the premises from garnet
to cellar. and then, finding no burglar, were
afraid to venture out; 30 they remained there
all night, each keeping guard over the other, and
each grasping his weapons and turning pale
whenever mouse stirred or a rat squeaked
We have very pretty alarm clock at our she'd
a nice little robin that comes and sings near our
bedroom window at daylight every morning. He
never requires winding up or setting .. The Ia.
test improvement on festivals u.s., that of get.
ting up one on grand scale and allowing
outsiders to pay all the money. 1t is less bind.
ing on the church 80. 1t was rough on the Jury
on the Howell case to be kept herded together
these two weeks. They couldn't ego to the 4th
OF july nor the circus couldn't see their wives
nor kiss their babies-the married men couldn't |
and the single fellows couldn't go to see their |
sweethearts. On the 4th they had to sit all day |
long on the balcony of the Clifton House could |
not get anything to drink, or go out for smoke |
The last we saw of one of them the afternoon |
OF the 'day we all celebrate" he was piteously !
begging officer to let HIM 70 out and get some !
chewing gum We wish it distinctly under
stood that when We are called upon to give any.
thing puff" we must have pay for it, either
in cash or tile article mentioned. Under this rule |
we hope to pick up some few tribes, such as
-four mill or two, the town of Marseilles, several |
farms, some blooded stock, town site up on Fox |
River interest IN railroad, couple of first |
class hotels, seventeen saloons, church. a brass
band, and similar things good to eat, or handy |
to keep house with, you know -. We have a |
literary man in this town who spells perjury
pu'guSy, lawyer who spells acid aSsid; another
who denounced witnes as "NrcocishuS youth !"
a young grocer who made out bill thus: "Mr |
- too--Dr. for one gal on malasiss,' "a weak |
attempt at molasses) and "local" who thinks he |
"knows beans" il he does spell 'e,n 5s1u-c