The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-03-24
Across the WaInuts and the Wine.
In after-dinner talk

|
season; and really, when / looked about
ne, could scarcely feel astOnished at his
inquiry. The room, indeed, was full of
children in one sense but in another
there was not child to be seen. 1t was
an assemblage of little men and women.
The dancing was as stately as minuct /;
and each duOdccimO dame had card in
J which to set down her engagements. |
heard one of them refuse most gallant
cavalier (in puce velvet and lace) her
hand for the lancers, upon the ground that
it had been previously promised to another;
and yet she did not dance that set.
"And why" said 1, "my little lady, did
you not dance with that gentleman? | am
sure he looked very good -natured ?"
GOOD -natured yes" returned she,
Struggling her small shoulders; "but how
unfortunately plain !'
This young person was about eight
years DID,
Mrs. Housewife had empowered me to
act as one of the masters of the cere-
monies-she termed it "helping to keep
order; :" but any post of that kind would
have been perfect sinecure. Romp-
ing was as little likely to take place
among these decorous Lilliputians as
scalping or the actual cautery. The least
approach to it was regarded with ineflable
disdain. Even awkwardness was visited
with the utmost severity of remark by
these small ladies'
"Ile hangs upon one So" was the YER
dict passed on one young beau, who had
just taken to "stickups," and looked like
a clergyman in miniature.
Another was rejected by a sweet little
maiden of eleven, upon the ground that
he had danced with her twice already.
" And are you SO inconsistent as all
that" inquired |, deferentially.
mo-" said she frankly; Il like him as
well as any in the room. But | don't like
being laughed at and people do laugh If
| one dances more than twice with the same
person"
She was actually afraid of "being talked
about ?"
overheard two little female dots of
six or seven making conversation. They
had got very friendly, and one expressed
her hope that they should see more
of one another my sister yonder,"
| (pointing to damsel of eleven) els at
home Wednesday from three to seven.
We should be so glad to see you"
Instead of the indiscriminate rush
which used to follow the announcement
of supper when we were young, these
dignified juveniles went down in couples
and talked the same twaddle on the stairs
which their seniors use-inquiring sedate-
| ly of one another whether they had
been lately to the theatre, or were
going out of town. At tie repast ITSELF
it was thought vulgar to admire; as for
bursting into applause at the sight of any
gorgeous dainty, as youth was surely wont
to dO-to have given away to such
impulse would have been considered bar
barrie. On the other hand, depreciatOry
criticism was as freely exchanged as
among the most fashionable grown-up
society. Professor Puzzleton's son and
heir, aged Z, happened to be my neighbor.
He was prosecuting his attentions to a
little golden haired fairy on the other
side of him in a most characteristic man.
ner Having inherited the faculty of
analytic investigation from his parent, he
was taking the gilt off the cOnjurer's
tricks which bad just been performed up
stairs, and preaching to his beloved object
upon the text of the hollowness of things
in general. Presently he took up highly
ornamental cracker, and in loud and
distinct voice-the very echo of his
fathers lecture-room tone = observed ::
"TheSe crackers were made at home"
| saw the color come into Mrs. House
wlfe's face when on finding it did not cx-
plode, he added, "Ah, | thought So"
Another young gentleman of somewhat
less tender age, who, it seemed to me, had
had quite as much champagne as was good
| for him, was ceaseless in his opportunities
for port.
Port wine, say w-"Port wine, will
you ?" were the observations he addressed
| tn waiter with Innrpn cInU irritation
| Now, in his ignorance of the tastes of
the rising generation, their host provided
no port wine, and the Indignation of his
very respectable butler at its being de-
manded in this public manner was a
charming spectacle. saw him growing
rcdder and redder with each reiteratiOn of
the request, which he nevertheless affected
to ignore. When the little ladies retired
from the table, some of the little gentle
men remained to discuss matters of
general interest, with their little legs as
wide apart as they would go, and their
little thumbs in the armholes of their
walstcoats, and among others was my
bacchanallan friend, as importunate as
ever They have got no port at this
house; think of that % cried he.
Then Housewife, wishing to discover
the young gentleman's reason for wanting
port, as. Well perhaps as to remove this
stigma from his character for hospitality,
caused bottle of the desired liquor to be
brought.
=" Now, why were you so anxious for
that wine, my young friend ?" inquired
he.
Well, you see, I've had great deal OF
dancing; and though your 'Fizz' (by which
he meant champague) is well enough
there's nothing like port wine to pick a
fellow up"
From subsequent inquiries. discovered
that this gentleman had Just arrived at
his teens; he had seen, as the novelists
say, only thirteen summersl
Surely Housewives remark upon the
probable extinction Of the genus inftns
oDcanMas-the common child as it used to
be-was not without good grounds
am bound to add, however, that the
rising generation are as sharp as needles
perhaps, their brain, forced into premature
activity, will soften at the period when it
was wont to become well seasoned and ma
ture; but at present their intelligence is
acute. During the course of that evening
professor PuZZletOn entertained us with
one OF the very ybestcOnundrums that ever
heard in my life. 1t was one of that com
plicated kind, it is true, which excited the
wrath OF Sydney Smith, who deemed that
a man should be hurried to execution with
out being permitted to explain the rela-
tlon OF his I" third" to his Fourth" but
ii was excellent for all that:
In my first my second sat-
My third and fourth ate;
The answer to which is like Columbus
egg problem-very easy when we have
learned what it is.
Llsotiate.
Our juveniles applauded it exceedingly,
and quite appreciated it but what was
still more curious, when the Professor
added as pendant to the above,
Under my first my second stood
think you'll own this quite as good
there was quite roar of Juvenile voices
that had all guessed eight.
Lpt lis hone irln1u roalnrS We