Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-11-12
UU M0RS OF THE DAY,

BUNORS OF THE DAY,
How to Build a House for nothing
Use free stone.--PWch.
To cure a man Of deafness, tell him
you have come 10 pay that little bill"
in Maryland, after October 20, you
may catch patridgcs i'll traps--it you
can
Napoleon, after visiting Nancy,
went to Sedan, but unfortunately he
saw William.
Abiding to chignons, Mrs. Clever
said "A girl now seems all head
Yes, till you talk to her." growled
Clever,
The man who threatened, on Tues.
day night, to "eat up a certain shoe.
maker, compromised by drinking a
Cobblcr,
An lrishmau, writing a sketch of
his life, says that he early ran away
fromhis father, because lie discovered
it was his uncle.
Ii is remarked that thc Princess Of
Prussia makes her own bonnels, and
even King William has lately put a
feather in his cap,
The wise men are considering the
question, " how il feels to be under
fire" The verdict will probably be
that it feels hot,
The attempt, says a paper, to start
an asylum for useless young mel fail
ed, as no building could be construc.
ted large enough.
1t is exceeding bad husbandry to
harrow up the feelings of your wife,
to rake up old q%uarrels, to hoe a
grudge, and to sow discord.
They tell of a man out West whose
hair is so red that he has to wear fly
nets over his ears to keep the candle
moths from flying in.
Josh Billings says that " one oy the
hardest things for emmy man to do is
tew fall down on the ice when it IL
wet, and then get up and prazc the
Lord"
What did the Israelitcs do after
they crossed the Red Sea?' asked a
superintendent of a Sunday school.
"They dried themselves" said a
shrill-vciced little girl.
A student at Carroll University, in
rendering an account to his father of
his last terms expenses, entered as an
item; "Charity, $50" His father
wrote back II fear that charity COW
crs a multitude of sins"
A professor, giving a lecture to
some boys, was explaining how one
could not live without air. lie then
said "You have all heard of a mar
drowning--how does that happen 2
The ready answer was: 'Causc he
can't SWIM"
Out in Galcsburg, ILL.,, a young lady
was approached the other evening in
one OF the city churches by a sympa-
thizing friend, who asked, "Do you
not wish to get religion? z" eyes,"
she replied, "but not until the I'd OF
January. l want to go to the grand
ball first"
"Do you believe in the rod as an in
strument of discipline Z" asked a
mother Of a school teacher in Nevada,
to whom she had taken her unruly
son. No, madam" ooh, I'm SO
glad! What do you substitute fol-
tt?" "The revolver, madam - Exit
mother and unruly son.
One Doctor Duncan received Il Sc.
we're injury from something in the
shape of COW skin, somewhere in the
neighborhood of Cincinnati. "Where
were you hurt dcctor?" said Il friend
"was it near the vcrtcbr9 ~ "No
nc" said the disciple of Galcn; al
was near the race-coursc,"
A boy at DesMoincs, Iowa, was re.
Gently excused from school to attend
n funeral /; but a truant officer found
him Don after, witnessing a game o.
base ball, and asked why he did moi
go the funeral. With the utmost cool.
ness the boy replied: ~ went down
to the house to attend it, but the mar
isn't dead yet.
Ma" said an intelligent, thought.
full boy of nine, II don't think Solo
mon was so rich as they say he was
Why, my dear, what could have pur
that into your head 2" asked the aston
ishcd mother. Because the Bible
says he slept with his fathers, and
think if he had been so rich he wOul(
have had a bed ofhis own
Two widowers were once condolins
together on the recent bereavement
of their wives one of them exclaime,
with q sigh: Well may ! bewail my
loss, for | had so iow differences viii
the dear deceased that the last day o
my married life was as happy rs In,
first "Therc | surpass YOU" sale
his friend, for the last day of min,
Wap baA,sa,