Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1870-07-29

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afterwards injured considerably by falling hail
stones.
HUMORsoME.
"Tbe Religious Difficulty Long sermons.
Question for bootblacks the shoes made
! BY the Celestial workmen take shine essy7
The proiigal son confessed his sins to his
| father in husky tone Of voice
/ Don't 20 to church with a cough and disturb
/ the rest Of the congregation
Plantation Bitters-FOr negroes-muscuar
Asistics on Southern sugar plantations.
When does Shakespeare give an instance of
! the cure of Consumption When the Duke Of
Giosier stops King Heury's coffin.
The recent perspirstory weather suggests an
amendment Of the stock conundrum Whittier
are we drifting ?'' to Whittier are we drip
, ping2'
"My dear dos-or." said lady, " I suffer
great deal with my eyes Be patient,
madame" he replied, you would probably
suffer great deal more without them
Bill, said Bob, % why Is that tree called
weeping willow 2'' "'Cause one Of the sneak
ing, plaguey things grew near the sehoolhouse,
and supplied the master with switches. -
Curious fact in philology Captain Typlin-
g 5 mo- stro nary thing, Mis'r Pofhns, that
all goo things fdrink are wor's one syllable
por', sherr', Chart, spirr's,''
Lord F. recently married his cook. On
the bridal day it rained tremeniously-the
coachman and his attendant sprites we're wet
through. " Al 20 said a wag ''all quite in
chGracter-there's nothing but dripping whei-
ever he goes.
Said little fur-year old: Mother. father
Won't be in heaven with Us, Will hee'' "Why.
my child ~ Because he can't leive the
store
Ihe.TurEish bath is an institution to De avoid
e. BY riga.-minlei pE;lanthropi,ts for there
money is expended. not on the roor. hut or the
shanp7or.
REFLECTION EY 4 JILrTo lover.
sat me down in though; profound
TINS maxim T.se I dow,
~ ma 49, la, i,r Y, ~. liA ga a sii!,
Fl. - H.. ,'
p..r,L i', 80 80 5-5 y'.Ason' d
- lr - ~; ~, ~ .. ,-iJ - ny,
ya ", 1870 III Ss race tJT 'ne Ufaql Ir5'
mir,lis race Iisia~e reyear15 M. for Va Wote s
too ..T,i.e.'' answered f56 p-ir.sss i'm,
at Waterloo YOU ran better still -
An siv,.s.o t,.,,,., 1,,.,-. ,,....., -..;. g.
moor, ..,,--. l..i,- ,,b1 .i.-1
= t.y. 49,, -. Iis
be,-t >, ..tis-l :. 3yI W. . ,'.; ".. -s
r5a,se ,r-.i W., f., -, 80, - o-
= 'eAcAer. "'sh.ng TO explain to a little riri .
'Ile' ~ "AIo' loos'ef casts lts She
"-s .I !. '.A7 '1- crown IT, siln nat 10 you
,' ""et you nave 2utgr9Wn your clothes lol .
'n n! '1eil .'s''e' don you " Oh' no. re-
i''1 '-' "'''t o"'' we !tl out the tlcAs.
= r.n;lemlu IL Paris restaurant calls the
garCcn 90 see here boy send ne the cook"
" IS sir, here he is Look here, sir I .
have found this hair in my soup" Sc But Mon
siear viii see that am entirely bald See for
yourself " What you scJundrc do Won
dare 20 send ne strange hair in my soupg''
fi..-,.-.1 aud ,.,..s.,,s-.,;,1 ..f,.s- 90 +l.,
" .-i, l,.s mas ls,e1, rsseir,, M, stre54 T.,
My ,--. Igisn he y,ss .cc1sfai h, b-,+b(-
f..e- ,ria t,-cbio- Li-, f,r,-r;--1,- 40, a.,
sp--,r'.- .il ..Wen Rro.,, ~ o,., ~, ~,
d. r-,-. ne 3, was the b.,,gbt,, rsrI, ~ v,sb
r.u world remember that tbe-e is n h,rIa r.,
nm. ,s-.o7r. con -. .,-4;,l m, -
Won B~5.u hqn.i'ay',
al ~ s'i'''N ia '-, 'eI'l '-oAe" PaHs
-l7 L ".I,,''' We AiA-ut me usSl vi
Us "'3 'l '' =", ~ We RS i--Ll oA'' uu-
'.' 'ol ~ 'H' '''', s.''s 'Ail1n
q. " 80 - - ..-'.-r
,-y.5 I3 T,-i'N' t.I y.4 n'- 10 'e
-.' ~ i a. anu nun you ~, ZIG
. -'--.'' e -----' --' ''-1 i''-'' u pay -'' u
AEE'D5rE OF DANrU NEB-IEa he follow
n1 Is one Of the many funny anecdotes that
crtsu5lih, New Hampshire, people tel q Mr.
Webster
-.li's 'i'' =" 'es.',l-' '- 'A'' Guy 10 us
i'--I '1s tAe.e was .lih.'lre aea'e. nam
I '1'A-is d 'las business ia '-e Town, VINO WIS
= 'e-y wei --te AS vel ts siA-i"ou7 nan.
WIS ',-'.-s-i y Af- 'els.'' WHO el.si
d PeI l-'o lAe s-'P TO eri'f l, 1ie-.h.en-
's man. oi some piece o. furniture. i-sse
,,'s % GU. tlsins WIN O. man So earn
a9 az w were me ue-i-ht ei ''f- 'ulA.Ns
.e ana on 'ne removal 'i me former 10 boston