The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1870-06-30
The Last Great Meeting.
The RemOVRIites in COuneiI-.-R. H. a
Co. Unanimous.
IFTonl our special reporter and eyniSsdTlI
THE GATHERING OF TIRE CLANS.

been done by the Jolnt counsel and. fojnf alT of
ne .e Etioie company The Instructions given by
the company to the Band were minute and sle-
enc. Thesh Instructions were that the Band
s, sn4ulo 10 inaron around town and blow and beat
II was regarded as important that crowd
I should be gathered.
Accordingly the Band marched and hloved
niS atiu p'at; llst appeared on Main street and
/ one big drum and enc little drum
! II DleW ana beat down Main street, and disap-
Eathered from all quarters, and to all quarters
/ the Band marched blowing and beating.
The space of fifteen minutes passed awavapt
then two sharp cared little boys once more de-
tected the sound of music and shouted with
gISdsone voices, Here they GOMEZ
And the two big horns and the two little horns
I ana the big drum and the little drum marched
/ and marched, even up ON to the speakers stand.
! And behold the crowd had not been gathered!
Inc fuIl space OF one quarter of an hour went
! by amid ghastly silence, when an Humble Fol
/ lower of the CompanS-the great Is. B. X Co
/ appeared ON the ground and told the Band they
! haa better play ard gather crowd.
And the Band hearkened TO the ativi,y, and
/ played, but the crowd did not come; whereupon
the h rushed precipitateiy for the great Lead
! efs OF the great Company.
/ And behold the great Leaders of the great Co
llofthwlth appeared upon the scene. They We're
desperately III earnest, and in their earncstness
| they convened council. That council was har-
nohlous anu united anu WITHOUT a dissenting
voice 1t was decided that the Band should play
and gather crowd.
SO the Band played.
! Scarcely had this particular blowing and beat
/ ing subsidized, however, before the nominee-the
! chdlnliOn-the standard bearer great X
/ u, (Which means Kitchen L Utensils,)-appeared
/ upon the stand.
| He was the sole arrival, but he had been s-in
the hight for tlCeHtB years Much counsel had
made him wise-much practice had made him
| perfect an the prosecution of such campaigns.
50 unto him the assembled wisdom appealed as
! with one voice.
| His decision was sharp, decisive original. He
merely propounded this sublime ana startling
conundfu1n: Why don't the Band play ana
gather Il crowdi
All recognized in the suggestion the voice of
long experience, and thereupon and without
delay the horns and drums, both big and little
Were sounded long and loud.
And the crowd came.!l The crowd consisted
OF snuff Box, Cutting-Bo In-a-BoX, and four
teen boys who. o.shoulo have had their ears boxed
tor being in such crowd.
This WAS encouraging, and it was determined
10 proceed at once 10
but when they looked around it was discovered
that there was nobody To act as President. The
these Hemoval meetings is not absolutely neces-
sary, nor indeed usual, but to dispense with
President was simply impossible
SO Farm StdbieS-one of the great leaders of
the Coin fact, one of the busy B.s-was des-
patched to hunt UP a President. And while he
was away the Band play ed, just to keep the cFOtCd
together, ana when he returned behold he had
drought With hifn the ulucn coveted President
How Il. :. secured the President is not known
to ttlis day, but when he returned it was eyi-
TO take Charge of the whole meeting Without
consulting has co-luhorers he proceeded TO or
Quinn for President-he put the motion to the
crowd 0he Boxes aforessiid)-he voted Tor the
corted the President TO his seat.
He then nominated h. X. Davis for V. P.
Il
marked, ''EdwardsR. r. Edwards
r. :. reiterated, No, no, Davis
Member of C0.-"I tell you there is no such
man with X. X. Davis-it is Edwards"
So a council WAS called 10 find out who it was
Edwards. And tlusiy Edwards became V p.
Theu +. ). caused Cutting Box 10 be made
And behold the great meeting was organized.
THE FIRST REMOVAL.
Now during all this time the mightiest of all
the leaders-thc great Mc(er)L himself had
been IN the rear talking to the Band. He was
trying 70 convince George Hahn that he ought
to play in order TO gather II crowd" but Geo,
having played all the tunes he could get out of
the big and little horns and the big and little
drums, couldn't see the point, and MC(er)L.' sar-
guments- if rot his fragrance, were wasted ON
the desert air
Intent upon his fruitless efforts TO obtain an
other tune, Mcler)L. WAS entirely opliVious of
the silent ana mastery manner in Which T. :.
had organized the meeting without any of the
elect knowing anything about it but himself.
Yet the great Mcter)I. realized that the meet
ed TO DO it. Advancing, therefore, to the front
In the air His utrerances loud and clear cut off
a Sneeze from Snuff Box and almost straighten-
known that McferlIl. was sperately in earnest
Il knew he was la earnest, for he told us so at
the first big meeting, and al the big convention,
and at this big meeting, and he is understood to
nave made the same remark on divers occasions
in private conversational
His voice was therefore loud and earnest
when he delivered himself thusly:
Fellow citizens, move that one of the oldest
citizcns-'' and the Company ut once realized
that he was going 10 organize the meeting over
again. As this would never do, X. O., L. 5. and
Little Head went for him and with one
cord cried out, stop" But DIc(er)L. was in
earnest Che told us sol and stop he wouldn't and
didn't. In fact he went on in this wise: ''One
who has grown venerable in our midst be made
Pres
Great emergencies require great men, The
c1!icrgency was here-the men We're not want
f4-g. The big meeting must not be organized
over again. This was the unanmous and simGl-
taneous conclusion of the great Trio. X. U.
seized one TAIL of Mcer)L s coat, +. II seized the
other, and L. II. laid violent hands the sitting
down part of tire speakers breeches, and thus
was he borne back from the front.
Some time was then lost in explanation, but
the explanation proved satisfactory. In sOim-
portant a movement little onTlleasantnesses'
But Mc(er)L was aroused, ard taetYing lost one
point he determined to gain anotlle.S Esnd there
fore advanced on the snusc with ali tao com
manding dignity of his majestic proportions and
promptly and firmly demanded "a tune tc trath-
er a crowd said crowd being still ungathered
George saw the flash of Mc(er1L. S eve and he
then ana there wilted, and the horns and the
drums once more poured forth their richest
melody on the slumbrous air of night.
THE SPEECHES.
At the conclusion of the tune the retiring
ly apparent. None of the firm wished to usurp
the distinguished honor of introducing the great
champion. But the thing had to be done, and
to Little Head was finally assigned a the duty Et
Leine) advanced 10 the outer edge of the plat
form and Informed the assysnbled multitude %
ft e. the BOXES aforesald) that there III hau q oeen q
convention-that that convention had nomina-
ted-that the nominee was a Inan-that that
man present, and that being present 'he
would speak for himself.
TIereupon Kitchen Utensils. the great chtlTn-
pion and standard bearer, appeared IN fuli view
of his admiring and awe-stricken constituents
1t had been determined to greet him with
double breasted enthusiasm. This conclusion
was reached at the same meeting which decided
that, without any combination whatever, he
Should be unanimously declared the nominee.
The Trio accordingly raised their hats and at
tempted to cheer. The effort would have been
g failure had it not been for that greatness OF
perception which seiZeS upon just such emer-
gencies. The big drum and the little drum We're
brought TO the rescue, and three times with
thump and roll did they greet the great X. u.
with tremendous enthusiasm.
So far the will of the Co. had been attended to.
And now the great i. q. OPENED his mouth
and spake: Fellow citizens there has been q
conyention-so | have been informed. That
| conV ention has made nOmination-sO have
been told. 1t has nominated ME! Qt had been
decided to have applause just here, and applause
! there was. Cutting Box and F. :. made 1t by
| striking the floor of the platform with their
! canes) 1 accept the nomination. (Applause as
aforeSaid) 1 have been informed that there
| was platform adopted. If so, accept that
! l,tc Il .l.ll u n lacNa