The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-07-05
Not a Marrying Man.

Not a Marrying Man.
A year or two before his death Arte.
mus Ward visited the Mormons at Salt
Lake City. On his return he wrote u
book giving an account Of what he saw
and heard, in which among other things
nc tells OF narrow escape he made from
being married to seventeen young wild.
lows, as follows:
regret to say that efforts were
made to make Mormon of me while in
Utah.
1t was leap year while | was there,
and seventeen young widows, the wives of
a deceased Mormon, offered me their
hearts and hands. i called on them one
day, and taking their soft white hands in
mine, which made eighteen hands togeth.
er, | found them in tears.
And l said, Why is this What is
the reason Of this thusness?"
They hove sigh, seventeen sighs of
different size. Then said
"'Oh I! soon thou will be gonested
away"
told them when | got ready to leave
place, wentest
They said, "Doth not like us?"
said, q doth, DOTH"
also said, " hope your intentions are
honorable, as | am lone child, my par
ents are far, far away"
Then they said, " Wilt not marry us 90
said, I" Oh no, it cannot was"
Again they asked me to marry them,
and again | declined, when they cried:
"Oh cruel ma N! this is too much
oh too much -
| told them it was on account of the
muchness that declined
MoDEs AND MANNERS FOR MATRoNs,
MAIDS AND MEN, Is the name Of a new
Philadelphia magazine, devoted to fashion
and literature. The originality of the
name is well carried out by the sprightly
tone and originality of the whole contents
which have all the relish of freshness.
Bensell furnishes picture of Ameri-
can society. A serial story of American
life commences with a vigorous promise
of national character and the fashions,
instead of being a mere rehash of Euro
pean styles, are a lively description OF
the popular, costumes of our promenades
Altogether there is cert ain dash and
and vigor in this new monthly which
makes it very unlike the standard lact.a-
daisical fashion magazine and it offers
plenty of other peculiar inducements to
readers.
This very tastcful-looking, well illustrs.
ted serial is furnished by all newsdealer,
for only ten cents per copy; yearly sub.
scribers, by the publisher, for one dollar
year.
1t is evidently destined to attain an
enormous circulation
Published by j. B. DoBBINs, No. 426
North Fight Street, Philadelphia.
\ Polite Boy.-The other day We
were riding in crowded rail way CARR.
age. At one of the stations an old gen.
tleman entered and looking around for
seat, when lad Of ten or twelve years Of
age rose up and said
"Take my seat, sir
The offer was gladly accepted, and the
|
why did you give me your seat ?" he
inquired of the boy.
because you are old, sir, and |
boy was the quick reply.
The passengers were very much pleas.
ed and grati6ed. For my part (says
the reporter of the incident), l wanted
to seize hold of the little fellow and press
him TO my heart 1t was respect for
age which is always praised worthy.
DEFINITION OF A DEMocRAT-The Sa.
ratogian tells the following story at the
expense of ''Corneil' Waldron Of Water.
FORD.
Our worthy surrogate, besides resenb-
ling Abraham Lincoln somewhat in per-
sonal appearance and very much in his
politics, has all of the late Presidents
fondncss for joke Not long since there
entered his Office one of those gnary,
weather-beaten, labor-worn Irishmen, to
be seen everywhere, and some bantering
ensuing between him and the surrogate,
the latter finally challenged Mike to
give the correct definition of "a Demo.
crat."
Mike with much emphasis, avowed
his ability to define the term to every
body's satisfaction, but hesitated in doing
it.
Come said Waldron, I'm give
you quarter of dollar if you will tell
me the true meaning of Democrat.
Thus stimulated, Mike scratched his
head and looked wise, while a merry but
scarcely perceptibe twinkle began to show
itself in his eye.
Out with it now," exclaimed the Sc.
rious-faced surrogate, =" and here's your
twenty-five cents, if You only give the
right definition"
"Well," replies Mike, I'll give yez
the true idea Of what dimmycrat might
be. A dimmycrat why, sur.r-a dim
mycrat, SURF, dimmycrat-is an Irish
man."
1t is perhaps needless to state that the
witty Irishman's exchequer was increased
to the extent of the stipulated sum, and
that Waldron is still enjoying the aptness
and pungency of the Irishman's definition
of "a Democrat"
South Carolina is raising figs
New York has pop-gun nuisance.
e Queen Isabella throws up the sponge.
Harper's Ferry has become a summer
resort
Indiana courts have ls43 divorce suits
on hand.
{ Brownlow thinks he can hold out until
1875.
Grant goes to the Branch next week
!. Thursday.
5 Revels has given ''levee" in Indian.