Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1870-02-25

Jo.h B1nIng.' Female 1,.marks...

Dear dlrIS, ara yu In search OF q bus
band T? -st@ -ssi'~7 ----
This liz @ bumper, and va are not re-
quired ,tew say ''yea" ont loud, but yn are
expekted tew throw your eyes down sonto
the earth as tho yu was looking for o. pin
and reply tew the interrogatory with
kind of draulin Sigh, as though yu was
eating an oyster, Juice and all off from the
half she'll ...... ......-. ...- ..,r. 1srr
Mt tew press so tender a theme until it
bskums thorn in the flesh, We will pre-
sumo (tew avoid argument) that yu are on
the lookout for sHmthing III the male lins
tew bosts yu in the up hill ov life, and tews
keep his eyes on the britching when ynr
begin tew go down on the other side OF
the mountain. Let me give you sum small
chuncks of advice how tew spot yufe few-J
ter husband. - ..--~r..--.,- e 2
l. The man who is jellous of every little
attenshun which you git frCm sum other
feller, yu will find after yu are married to
him, Iuvs himsel more than he duz yu,
| and what yu mistook for solissitude yu will
! diskovre has changed into Indifference.
Jeitousy isn't heart disease; it is a liver
complaint.
2. A mustash is not indispensable e; it is
| only little more hair, and IL O good deal
! like moss and other excressences-often
| does the best on sile that won't raise emmy
| thing else. Don't forgit that those things
| which yu admire in a phellow before mar
riage yu will probably have to admire in a
husband after, and mustash will git tew
be very weak diet after long time.
.. If husband could be took on trial,
az Irish cooks are, two-thirds of them
would probably be returned; but there
don't seem tew bt any law for this. There
fore, girls, yu viii see that after you git,
man yu have got few keep him, even If yu
loose on him. Consequently, if yu have
got emmy cold .vitles in the house, try him
on them once in while, during scouridke
season, and if he swallers them well, and
sez he will take some more, he liz man
who, when blue Monday comes will wash
J we'll r1
4. Don't marry q pheller who is alwaz D.
tellin how his mother duz things. It liz az
hard tew suit these men as il liz tew wean
a young one.
5. If yung man ken beat you playing
on pianner, and kant hear O fish horn
playing IN the street without turning .
back summersett on account of the musick
that IL in him, l say ship him; he might
answer tew tend babe, but if you set him
to hOelng out garden, you will find that
you have got tew do it yurself. A man
whoze whole heft lies in musick land not
l very heftY at that amt no better for a
husband than seedlitz powder F.; but If he
luvs to listen while yu sing sum gentle
ballad yu will find him mellow and no
soft. But don't marry ennybody for list
one virtew, emmy quicker than You flop q
r man for iist one fault.
6. 1t IL one oV the most tuffest things
y for female tew be an old maid successful
o ly. great menny haz tried it and made
:, o bad job Ov it. Everybody seems to
look upon old maids jist az they do upon
. dried yarbs-in the garrett. handy for
y sickness-and therefore, girls, it amt a
. mistake that you should be willin to swop
o yurself Oph with some trew phellow for Il
Il husband. The swop is a good one, bul
don't swop for emmy man who is respekteti
# iist because his father IL. You had better
be an old maid for thousand years, and
9 then join the Shakers, than to buy repen-
: tance at this price. No woman ever made
8 this trade who didn't git either a phool, a
mean cusS, or clown for husband.
z. In digging down into this subject /
find the diggin grows harder the further
L git. 1t is mulch easier tew inform yin
who not tew marry than who tew, for the
reason thare liz more of them. er
don't think yu will follow mi advice il
: / give it, and therefore 1 will keep it, for /
look upon advice az 1 do upon castor lie
q mean dose to give and q mean dose to
; take. tt.r-
But must say one thing, girls, or spile.
If yu can find q bright-eyed, healthy and
well -ballosted boy, who looks upon poverty
as sassy as O child looks upon wealth-who
had rather sit down on the curbstun IN
frunt ov the 9th Avenue Hotel and eat a
f ham sandwich than tew go inside and run
t in debt for hiz dinner and toothpic-one
who is armed with that kind of pluck
that mistakes defeat for O victory-mi
advice is tew take him, body and soul
snare him at unst, for he liz stray trout,
ov breed very skase in our waters. Take
him, say, and bid unto him az hornets
bid TO q tree.-NeoD IOTk Weekly.