The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-08-25

I chance. Wood that Good nope 10
80 glorious an endin uv this fall'
elections. But / fear me the dream
] WIZ too good TO prove a reality.
Z PETROIEUM v. Nasty,
witch wUz POstmaster.l
! From Punchinelio.l
| Ramblings
! j infer that you eyeryisite,l Skunk
vile, Vermont. Still, it is mo-
strange, for many very estimabl,
people have not done so, and still
they are happy.
am sOjOurnihg here for the sum
mer. COmmuning with Nature,
/ believe thoy call il. ] can commune
here for five dOlIars a week and nC
I extra charge for retiring pensively Il
a babbling brook, and reading Milton
or Byron, though when my prophet.
I ie soul bankers IaOst, prefer Bacon.
! take it fried, about an inch thick
with plenty Of ham Eat. .I
/ went to hear ParsOn SlOwbOy, last
Sunday, on the COOlie question. He
| handle,l it without gloves, and, it be-
I ing very warm, without stockings, al
so. It's very exciting question just
now, almost AS exciting as the ques-
ton "What'lI you take 90 and ] musi
say that even i'm the heat of the argu-
ment, he talked Cookie.
/ The ParsOn is very Jealous, bat
rather illiterate. During a ferVent
lexhOrtatiOn he prayed that, call un-
discovered and uninhabited isles Oi
the sea might become converted, .
and on another occasion he began
with-"Oh, Lord, Thou art mereifnl
sinnerp
But he means well, and that is ev-
| eFything. a man knocked Rle down
once, and stamped on my head sever
al times. But lac meant well because
he thought it wns another fellow. He
apOlOgiZed 50 pOlitely that actually
felt clIsap because he hadn't done it q
little more.
But | am afraid We shall loose Par
son SlOWbOy He's had a call. He
hates to go, but he says it's his duty ;
the call is 50 loud.
It is two hundred dollars louder
than his present salary.
The I.yeeum Committee held them
annual meeting last week. Tsey are
in fiOurishing condition, having re-
Gently embelished their front door
step with a new and elegant serapel
of unique design and purchased four
supurb spittOOns fOI the use of the
committee. The President annOunc-
Ell, amid great cheering, that they
would probably open the fall campaign
with eleven dollars in the treasury
The course will open with debate
on the question "Are sardines
wholesome when ripened in the
shade?'
She who was among us one short
year ago, with her winning smile and
gentle simplicity OF manner, is now
no more. The grass grows green O'er
her last resting place, while he who
/ crushed her young life is far away
among his dissOlute companions.
Lucy Jones was indeed a lovely
maiden The tear rises unbidden to
my eye, as recall her I'm the artless-
ness OF her maiden beauty, hanging
her feet into the mill-pond, or chew
ing the strings Of her sun-b0nnet.- -
And when the stage-coaeh came she
would stand with her apron full of
horse-chestnuts and heave iem at the
passengers.
But the tempter came and from that
time she began to droOp.
She continued to drOOp till she
couldn't get any droOper.
And, with the gentle breath of June
waiting sweet perfume from wreath
Of newborn roses, they laid her
away.
And the uudertaker's bill was sew
en- dollars and fOrty-fve cents.
Her old mans constitution was
never robust, and this was too much.
az don't complain at the seven
dollars" said he in n low voice, brOk-
en- by emotion, "but amt the the for
ty-iive cents rather crowding the
mOurners
This undertaken is an awful lazy
man. The neighbOrs say that he was
born with his hands in his pockets,
and they go so far as to say that
'tYOuld have been n good thing for
his wife and family if he'd been still
born. But think this is going too
far SO al.I-il
/ don't think lac, ,eVen got over tie
Ucltlll OA Ills ulOSuGig bDoub lGttl t4t3u-
It was very sudden. Without think
what he was doing, he sat down on a
keg of powder with lighted pipe in
his mouth, and we have no authen-
tic Information of his whereabouts
since. E#
The neighbOrs heard him when he
went off, and, amusements being
scarce i'm that section, they proposed
to regale themselves with an inquest.
Twenty active boys volunteered To
scour the neigbOrhOOd in search of II
piece of the unfortunate man. Nine
teen came back empty-handed.
The twentieth brought a button
hole, and over this the inquest was
held.
His brother never took on much,
but / knew he felt it, for he always
calculated 10 have that pipe when
John died. Il I0ds rather rough, il
you examine it critically.
p. S.-Whatll you charge to pub
lisll a little editorial i'm your paper,
saying that L am as genial and polish
ed n gentleman as you ever met, and
'twOuld be perfectly safe to lend me
any amount? / want il for circula-
ton among new aeqnaintanees.-
Mae NEi0OeF