The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-06-03
GLEANIEGs.

The green postage stamps are like
E&ghspirited boys. They should be
licked cautiously.
Why is it easy to break into an
old mans house? Because his gait
is feeble and his locks are few.
When Sheridan's troops capture
an Indian camp, the soldiers secure
the loose scslps to send East for
chignons,
This is what l call capital punish
ment, as the boy said when his
mother shut him into the closet
among the preserves.
Josh Billings reckons among the
Lost Arts-Pumpkin Pi, Rum and
Tanzy, Honesty and the art Of get
ting up in the morning.
A Frenchman intending to com
pliment a young lady by calling her
a gentle lamb, said, "She is one NUT
Ton as is small"
Why is a son who objects to his
mothers second marriage like an ex-
hausted pedestrian? Because he
can't 60 a step-father.
4 traveller writes home from Paris (:
"The word l have stood most in
need of since my arrival here is the
French for damn.
"Biddy, did you put an egg in the
coffee to settler ''Yes, mum, 1 put
lin four; they were so bad l had to
use the more OF them
Wyoming nurses calm the rising
generation by singing:
'Nioe little baby, don't get in fury,
Cause mammals gone to sit on the jury
Railway carriages in Sweden are
warmed by means of hot sand placed
in cases along the side of each car
and heated and renewed at each ter
minus.
"Sam, why don't you talk to mas
sa, and tell him to lay up the treas
.ures in heaven?" "What de use of
him laying treasures dar, where he
.neber see um again."
"I am afraid of the lightning"
murmured a pretty woman during a
thunder storm. "Well you may be, :"
said a despairing lover, "when your
heart is steel.
New Harmony, Ind, claims the
champion coquette of the Northwest.
She has cancelled eighty-four en-
gagements matrimonial, and is good
for many more.
DR.. MMillan, of 3Iartinsvilie, In
diana, removed the right upper jaw
of a Mrs. Pelton, of that place.
Other husbands are anxious to have
the operation performed in their
families.
Miss Sallie NJ. JOY appeared as a
reporter at the recent suffrage meet
ing at Dayton, Ohio, and jealous
brother in the profession meanly
wrote of her that she will prob
ably remain "Joy forever"
Leavenworth, Kansas, claims the
proud distinction of turning out "a
large number of people to q smaller
| fire, and they'll leave a better dinner
and run faster, and surround the con
lhagration quicker, stay there longer
and 90 home wetter, than in any
other town in America"
Wendell Philips, at the introduc-
ton Of Senator Revels to his Boston
iaudience last week, mentioned by
name q citizen of that city, who, fif-
teen years ago, declared that freeing
the negro would be letting loose 4
race of hyenas. Philips then turn
ling to Senator Reyels, added: La
dies and gentleman, allow me to pre-
sent the hyena."
A Yankee boy recently took his
Sweetheart to one of the st. Louis
hotels for dinner. Fishballs were
on the table, but as the youth had
never seen the article, .he supposed
they were doughnuts, and handed
| one to his companion. After break
ing his own open, he carefully exam
med it, smell at it, and said: ''Matil-
a, don't eat that doughnut-there's S
something dead in this."
| OF all the parodies on Longfel-
lows Excelsior this by Hans
/ Breitman, is not the worst;
Der efening clouds was seddling fasd,
3 As young man drough der fllage BASED,
Shkading along mid der shdorm and hail,
Nit desc words tied on his coal dali:
/ "Shoo, fy."
''Oh, don't 90 such night ike dose
His mudder CRIES "YOu viii got froze;
Dat John Frosd dot viii Nib your ear
He only said so NIT a shneer;
/ "Shoo, fly"
Then the old man and the young maid tell hin
to stop, but
Higher and higher that young man vent,
For the shdor1ns he dond not care cent,
As he wiped dat shnow of his lefd ear,
Dem words vas herd sdill shdrong und CLEAR
NShoO, dy.H