The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1870-07-21
IDAHO WORLD.
ABOUT WALLER DoGs--BY MARK TWAIN.

When Noah rdisembarked ut Afarat he had
scarcely touched the pier when be proceeded
to tally his passengers He had just checked
his last item in the list - Mr.. and Mrs Bed.
bug-when the cringing figure OF quadruped
came sneaking Down the gang. plank with his
tail between his legs. "Drat 10, 1t there ann
that yaler dogi" says Noah, aiming vicious
kick with his broQan at the brute. But with II
facility born of long and bitter experience, the
brute lodged the projectile, aud calculating
Xxi yi''-whch ia Syriac tor "declned with
thanks" or " not for J0'--he disappeared, aud
while Noah, who had his sea.legs ON, was una
Bile to recover his equilibrium, and sat down
with emphasis on the back of his head.
Noah arose, and in accordance with the
style prevalent among the patriarchs, he pro-
ceeded to soothe his atfronted dignity by pro-
nouncing u yariegated auathema upon the yal-
Ter dog which had enthusiastically sneakrd
uuobserved on board, in the confusion ut put.
ting to sea, and capszed the captain ut the first
port. He cursed that dog in body, limb, bark.
hide. hair. tail and wag; aud all his generations,
relations aud kindred by consanguinity or at.
fluffy, and his heirs aud assigns. He cursed
him with endless hunger and perpetual fear,
with perennial laziness, with hopeless mang',
with incessant fleas, aud with his tail between
his legs He closed his stock of malrdctions
by q sparkling display of pyrotechnics. from
the demoralizing effect of which the yaller dog
has never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like reve-
nue. stamp, the yaller dog cant help being
"cussrd." He don't try I" help it. tie fol-
lows Noah's programme with sneakng fidelity.
lie is an lshnarlite among dogs. He receives
the mst oppressive cnurtesirs, iu the firm of
-. A A. H. b.
his lille an animated target excursion. de
boards around like district srh@teacher,
aud it IL meal time with him twenty-tnur hours
ia the day, The rest of the time he bankers
after something Ia eat He ID tao onniscruus
for an rpicur- Cram him at Drlmouico's aud
he would hunger for dessert from an Albany
boarding hnlise.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired. Asa
swiit-cart locamotive, hunter ar u sentinel.
he IL an ignuninious failure. The dog churn
was stragrtIc attempt To eiapl0y his waste ell
ergies, but he hadn't any waste energies. aud
butter bad tou uIuch self respect TAI "coInn'' ut
his persuasion. So the dog -churn was drop.
ped.
No sausage maker dare fureclose his lien on
the WALLER deg lest BIZ, ctistnmrrs-uo hnIscr
snothrd and sustained by an uniaIierIng trust"
transfer their patronage IN some lrss auda
ciOus dealer The savagrs who admire baked
dog and who eau even attack tripe and explore
the mysteries Of hash, without dsm1y. nc.
knowledge the yalIrr deg to be too much Tor
their gastric intrrpdity.
He always managed to belong to a rag
ged, tohacco-chewing. whisky drinking master,
whose business is swapping dogs. aud eyadIng
the dog tax. The yaIlrr dog is acquainted
with himself. and he enjoys the intimacy With
edifyiug contempt. He sinks along through
life. on diagonal dog trot, rs If in doubt rs to-
which end Of him is entitled To precedence.
He is always perrsded BY q hang.dug sense q.
guilt, and when retributiye tluwnrc IS fastened
10 Lis tail be Il flies from the wrath To come
with horrihed celebrity which ought to be |
very suggestive to two legged sinners Of |
similar ordeal in stor,. for him
The yallrr dog is swell to speak in italics.
ne is q siouch.