The Placer herald., 1870-12-24
NUMBER l8.
Married under Difficulties.

While my mind is ON marriages the print
er will see that my hand is unsteady and as
| blind as fish from the Mammoth Cave. l
will tell you Of a very odd sort of wedding
that happened out in Minnesota and Iowa,
for it happened in both of these States eight
or ten years ago. A settler named jenkins
lived in Minnesota, just over the line from
Iowa. A wandering tmberman, named
Preston, had taken a fancy to jenkins
daughter. He concluded at length to mar
ry her, and as Mary and her pa was. willing,
all the neghbors were invited at the proper
time. Old Jenkins did the thing up hand
some in the way of supper, and by nine or
ten o'clock all except the newly married
ones and the parson were reasonably and
fairly drunk The parson wasn't over So
Der as old jenkins had forced him to swal-
low a whisky punch, which acted on his un-
accustomed nerves and made his head feel
like a steam saw-inill with all the modern
improvements While in this condition
somebody minated that be wasn't regu-
lar square-toed, ordained minister, but only
an eXhorter, who had no business to 20 about
marrying people The love of truth and the
effect Of whisky made him acknowledge tho
corn at once, but he excused himself on the
| ground that he thought it would be just as
well, and besides there was no minister with
i'll twenty-five miles.
Old Jenkins was mad when he learned the
situation, and flew around Ike schoolboy
with n hornet in his trowser's leg. Preston
and his bride had retired up the ladder to
the loft that constituted fhe wedding cham
Der and had been left to themselves for half
an hour or more jenkins mounted the lad
der and yelled to them to come down, and
| impaired the astounding information that
they were not married at all. He explained
the situation, and as soon as the two could
dress they descended, looking as sheepish as
one could imagine Among the assembled
guests there was Justice of the Peace, and
he was induced by the payment of the usual
fee to splice the couple according to the legal
form. When the ceremony was over, there
were fresh drinks all around, and Mr.. Mrs.
Preston went up stairs to bed with the in
formation from Preston that he would put a
head on that swindling parson (who had
walked off with his fee.) .
Bat the whisky punclksy yEand the conver-
sation on the affair led to new revela-
ticn The house was in Minnesota, and the 8
Justice who had performed the ceremony
was Justice of the Peace for Iowa, and
therefore he was of no account in another
State lie himself told Jenkins of the state
of affairs, and then there was another scene;
up the ladder the latter went and called out
in voice that could be heard mile or two:
'Git up, both of you, and come down here
agin You amt married
'Old man, said Preston as he came to tho
top of the ladder, 'if you don't clear out and !
leave Mary and me alone, I'll just break
your head. There's been enough of this
yere fooln already.
jenkins backed step or two down the
ladder and parleyed with his son-in-law; the
result was the twain again came down the
ladder and the whole party went down the
road about half mile to the jurisdiction of
the justice, when he pronounced them man
and wife, this time sartain sure. 1t was some
time past midnight when William Preston,
Esq, accompanied by Mrs. Preston, to
whom lie was legally married, mounted the
ladder to the loft of the mansion of Mr..
jenkins and retired to the rest which by
that time they very much needed, while
their friends in the room below proceeded to
get as drunk az the quality of the back
woods whisky would allow and it will allow
a great deal -....t ra....-.a .seI .