The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-04-08

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- The best throw at dice is-to
throws hem away.
When Is love deiormsd When
1t Is al OIL one side.
- What can yon not name without
breaking IL? Silence.
- New motto for merchants
.f Late to bed, and early to rise.
Never get tight and advertise.
Decidedly the fayorite day with
clearinghouse keepers Is Hash We'd
fesday.
Careless people should remem-
Der that easy writing often makes hard
reading.
AZ editor ont in Missouri has
got the 18th anne: dinent awfillly mix
ed up. He calls 1t the "fifteehth 1eda
menf.
- Be houest, be temperate, be re-
liyiolis, IL you wish To- be happy in this
world and ut peace in the world TO
come.
a Cheyenne paper says that
birds are soaring around there; on
thew are Jail birds. and soar 1t the
limb end oil u rope.
- A Young lady swho wished she
was bird" changed her mind after
dinner when she saw how dreadfully
little WAS lett OF the turkey.
49, Naomi the daughter OF Enoch.
not marrhd until she ewns i've -h,inareu
and eight yeats old. Don't despair.
old gals-some hope yet.
- What is that which IS made win
4 H. ts.ift =
use to u trait but train caui o. travel
without IL? A noise.
a Western editor who found u
case OF homeopathic IN, dicine, has set
up AS IL doctor and offers TO physic 81
bleed at the usual rates. ten eehtsa me
first inaertion.
A Cincinnati reporter woke up
a bride groom at hotel III that CITY 80
get tie particulars of his wedding
lie owes q neighboring apoiiiecary hVe
cents for court plaster.
- sThere is one kind o'ship al
ways steer clear Of said an old bach
elor sea captain, s.and that's coI.rtship.
cause on that ship there's always Two
mates and no captain
- In reply TO a young writer who
wished 10 know which magazine would
give h M the highest position quickest,
q cpn.t mpur;try advises powder IN az
azlne, if you contribute fiery ar
ticle.n
THE worst sold man in America
lives 1T Lafayette, Indiana. lie has
been winding up a clock every n!ghr
for seventeen years. and last week. by
accident found out that it was MI eight
day CLOCK VI ~
- A colored preacher commenting
on the passage. ssBe We therefore wise
rs serrents and harmless rs doves.
said that the mixture should be- made
IN the proportion OF pound OF dove
to m ounce of serpent.
A Connecticut editor gives no.
ticp ss follows: 1--WE shall! interview
/. number of our cit ze"s this week III
the the subjec. OF tiuance.' He means
that he is gning 10 dun them 4 r theii
subscriptions.
- ideally. my DEAR" said poor
Mr.. jones' 10 mis- better halt you have
sadly Il sappointed me. lonce consid-
cred you jewel OF woman; bat
you'y We turned on only bit OF mairI-
monal paste" .raen. my love-" was
the reply. "console youiselt with III.
idea that paste is very adhesive. AMI
will stick To you ~ long as yni live"
- Josh Billings gets OF some good
things occasionally. He ha> an eye to
business. Hear him
An, business firm that hasn't goi
sand enough IN their craw to expend
a few dollars IL making his business
known 20 three or four thousand peo-
Pile, ougli: to pack and go p-dd.iI 3
peanuts.
- Bacheloric Proverbs-A rich |
man is never ugly ia the eyes n girl. |
A beautiful woman smiling bespeak, |
. purse weeping.
Every man would rather be hand |
some than good.
A house full OF daughters is cellar
OF sour beer. |
A man If straws is worth a woman
Of gold.
Alas. father! another daughter is
born unto you. lisa Spanish eSclama
lCn oi confidence.
A rich y lie is a source of quarrel.
Ii is an i'll house when the hen Is til,
talking bird.
lie " no rarries i'll is very long in
becoming widowed.
A rich widow weeps with one eye
and laughs with the 9th, r.
-. 4 Bachelor recently advertised
Ior y wife. aud ungratcfrlly published
I0me If the most intere ting OF the nu-
nerou- Applications ior the position.
rhis ono combines poetry and bad
'peIllng with extraordinary effect:
dear sur If yon want such ii wife ms
ron Say You Want 10 make the A
Kuantans OF YOU can See Ne. at frank
in skuar on tnunday Mite at ate aklsk
will Be thar and viii have Il Blue sab
N and Wife hat,
roses Is red and Violets blue
Sugar Sweet and SO is you.
Com See Ne.
Tho next is pathetic anG sentiment
al;
"Ilow do sigh for some one ike
'ou tn pass the long wintrie evenings
Iway with because | am so lonlle AMI
Without any acquaintances WATSON
.ver. you must b. Handsome inr
Ike Your stile have no money But !
I'M good hearted love music anH sony
would love yo.I IL ron would rirs
The last must well-nigh have laken
he advertisers breath away by Is am
correctness
"biz is biz, il you want to SEE goo
ukie girl come to 10 Arch te-Inarrer
light stand IN irons of tie drug store
It zakh s will cume TO you"
FORTY YEARS