The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1870-04-01
MOANING THE TRADESMEN.
.,oyty's sTUPENDoUs BUT VERT
NOSSENSIC1L JOKE.

seeks EnShrOud " 1.-Two
me week ago yesterday, a tall, wclldresscd
,upe aiy OF % thereabouts entered the crockery
,,ore ,,s Eighth avenue, and made the heart Of Mr.
unebe. glad by ordering Of plates, dishes. cups,
,,ncers eobet. glasses, pitchers, and other brittle
ube gear. about 600 worth
She next went to Howe, the baker, and ordered
from MIN enough ice.cream, cakes, sc, to feast a
tnndred people Thet to Early's hed she and
selected LIQUORS, and to q weknown coal merchant,
,hpteher and to other tradcsmen. to all OF whom
,he said that their wares were needed for Pat Con.
,ov OF bt2 West Twenty ninth street, who was TO be
married next day. and who would settle the bills at
,shl She then paid sad visit to MIR stephen
Merritt the undertaken, Of Eighth avenue, whom
,he askcl to send men to lay Pat ConrVy out, and
% measure him for coffin, and TO German barber,
sith whom she made bargain for the siaying OF
ne corpse. All these people were ordered 20 be at
Pat Conroy's city residence at o'clock on TIE fol-
owing morning.
The vciled lady took her leave. aud Howe the
baker. borrowing the words Of the Hon. Horace
Greeley as applied to that treaclerous Bean, sadly
repeats to his many friends and fcllowvciims. that
ihe has never since PASSED within range Of lis
Mortal vision"
PAT coSRoY's SIEGE.
Tie sun rose bright and warm. The please mt
topucus west side, ever and anon STOPPING to the
earth to kiss the violets which the amorous fellow
could not find. and to trihe with blusbing roses
which, alas were not there He dallicd here with
An asnh ariel raising cloud OF dust that made the
early PAST ngers snoczc and swear and there with
a gatta-o leap. watch sickened him with its nox-
Ions odor and forced him TO hurry eastward with
his viewlc.s nose between his airy fingers.
At lt;e before o'clock naty little wagon
well laden with merchandise came rafting down
West TNcnty ninth street under the guidance OF
nobby character, with powdered hair.
II was Mr. llowes Young man. Tie wagons
freight was the wealth OF good things the yelled lady
bad ordered for Fat Conroy's wedding.
Mr. Ho~e'- young man, nothing dashed by the
fances Of The whole community OF early matrons
snd maids, WHO crowded the doors and windows OF
the nea lbohrg houses to admire the grace aud
short before No. SIS, Iwo.stoty ediaee witch over
looked and embellished the extensive grounds OF the
ronroys
He Jumped to the ground ike a harlequin, and
tapped at the door. When the Conroy mansion WAS
built, bells were not much In use, and the Conserva-
tive family, proud Of all the ancient customs, had
never been willing to sanction any modern innova.
. hon. For this reason Mr. Howe's young man was
obliged TO rap with his knGckles
A tall lady who seemed TO- have. reached her 45th
rear without parting with the roundness OF form
md freshness OF color which belongs to maids of 80,
Things from Mr.. Howe" said the young man,
politely 'ouesing the TOP Of his PAPER CAP With the
"Nisher WHO ~ said The lady. WV
mo. Nr. HOice" said the young man.
4" And hat Lave / 10 do Wild Misther Howe :" said
,he adl, Sharply
Tie yourg man explained that a lady had ordered
Ne refreshments for Fat Conroy's wedding.
roughly ns4p pss copSoy ' Seas hay nov 'sO
he's me own son, is Pat, an married man, an a
nice sober by an, bedad Az yez thry to make April
fools Nv w in March weather, may the Lard have
Marcy yez but III call the po-lees D'yez take
PIT nr bigamy Young Mormon, ye omsdhaunf
An who ordered the things A woman, IL III An
That was her name an there does she live and
- Tel uE about Il, ye thaie, an began wild ye"
THIS Win great raIidity-so great that Mrs. CoIroy
pr. Howes young man thought It well to depart
iurriedly before the exhausted element OF wrath
should have time 10 regain their strength, and once
more burst Ia storm upon his innocent head
As lie was about mounting his wagon, a troop of
viz and PerpleHng isncies gsmooling through his
brain. whom should he encounter but a spruce
young Gttgcht OF an uptown butchers establishment
who had just driven up with load Of beef mutton,
pceting at the Louise doors In search OF a number.
q, lie.ol Spare'rio," said MIR. Howe's young man
= what's upf'
say, swcc,ucss where's 5i2r"
Wat Mr.. Conroy'st"
, You bel"
" mat ere .two-story house. Got any goods for
NE Wodtn ~
"You bet"
Tie young butcher skipped lightly up the steps Of
BIZ, willie Sir Howe's Young man stood with one
loot on TIE shalt OF lis wagon and watched aux.
ousy for the forthcoming Il the irae Mrs. Conroy,
md the lively scele which lie felt sure to follow
The door was opened and the tail lady appeared.
" A.. hat 20 you want, Dung MANI said she.
here's nv boss'z bi.l-s52 49,"
An Uiose weddin' is ~"
Pat COnroy's."
"AI. utA yez luck at himi Ye impident young
haste, ay ye don't gwan out O. this in inv, IN
make We bald. ye blatheIskite. Nc're tue second
1haic that's been here the day an may the diyi a.
away wild me av don't"
Here the ladys feelings became too deep for utter
tnce but, determined TO produce a sanitary edect
rpcn what she naturally thought 10 be a malicious
!1FmentOr she made a pass at Mr. Spare-rib which,
fortunately Tor the beauty.and symmetry Of his
"a han Il a flt.
blow fell harmless upon the innocent air.
;, ne young man zen Mrs. Conroy in possession OF
Ihe field, aud joined Mr. howes special at the curb
. S.e crazy; said sDafe-nb;
No, she's down On the gal that Pats goin' TO
And so they arCned the point, While their impa.
hent steeds stood paving the pavement of West
iNenyninlh street, and the inquisiuNe neighboIs,
iather and son, mother and daughter crowded ABOUT
We debateis, and Piled them with mulululinous
Questions.
Al tails point there came new actors upon the
iceDe. II was rOundiaced gallant from llu hess
trUckery stone, with a cargo of queens ware ana
thina and glass-and bill for 800 against Pat Con
roy Hard upon his heels came gay young Irish
man from karlys, corner OF Eighth avenue and Six
leehth street Win siI gallons Of rare wines and
choice brandy Ind mellow whiskeJ-and bill.
WHAT THEY WERE RAISING AT cosRors.
When these uniortunstes were met by Mrs Con.
roy at her door there arose din that denee de.
terpion, for the now Infatuated lady had been rein.
forced BY plttoon OF fair friends who resided near
W, and who were ready, for the sake Of the perse
euled woman, to talk or to batter 10 death every
miseretnt engaged In the wrelchedly cruel Outrage
upon the peace and quiet Of d nice family
=, mlld'looking policeman hapreu along during
the heat OF battle, aud tuen vent away. When the
hey' DR.. Partlet met him at the next corner lie
bald "
'Onicer, what lie the matter over theref"
%, nothing; they're Just raising little hell
Mats all"
WHAT THEY PUT DOWN AT coSRoY's.
In the midst Of the Turmoil. there drove up TO the
mont OF the iHted house two coal carts. Finding
the entrance bockaded, the two drivers lett their
vehicles, and without ado, but With some little pro-
hrity, moved tie bakers wagon, backed ~ tier
carts 70 the pavement aud deposItea thereon two
lons OF ar clean nut coal as was ever mined.
II tins Mr.. CUnroJ's - said one vi the cloudy
laced coal hen, a. he worried himself through tie
crowd to tue door OF 5l2
-" II sI L that said Mrs. Conroy; az That do
req wautf'
-, Here's lin for two tons o. coal, ma'pm. for
hE'ltr Conroy, an Lang life ia him on nj. Ocufn'
cay. WI JeZ want II put In, ILa an -
Ihu- spoke the Innocent and industrious coal N al
inns Mas fling FeliOu on Ossa.
MIS-. COrToy could stand no mpre.
NLe Was ABOUT 10 make charge upon this asst in.
na'eT oI LtT peace when sirHg II caTriagoe, lei
~ a sty,ish baruuche drawn by iOur ullto horses
utt" up ~ front OF tue house. A man IN iIeIy
su-hltd irOm tie pusi-cushiuHei teat OF tho
"a 'uce, ana passi through the tlrong, which
Ws'td a. heHpproacneL, picked his way daintily to
~ door, ahd ailer busting lls patout-leatRer boots
WIN hilNtdgusY dercate Cambnc handkerchief
lAur addressed Mrs C0nrOy:
j. ms Mr. tOmoy's residence ="