Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-03-18
n1sONLLANEous ITEMS.

HANDY VoLuMEs-Pocket-b
A PIous Young Lady--The church
BELIEF.
SOMETHING to weep over--A bushel of
onions
WHEN cat sings, does she do It on pur
pussP
PLEADING at tho Bsr-Begging for a
drink.
The most difficult thing TO remember
the poor.
THE moaning Of tied--A husbands
grumbling.
TROUBLES are like babies; they grow
bigger by nursing.
WHEN is the most suitable time to get
married April 1.
WHAT ship is always laden with knowl.
edge Scholarship.
AN actor ought TO be happy man; his
work Is all play.
A SOCIAL glass TO which ladies arc ad-
dicted-The mirror
BIZ contented with your especially
II II Is on q corner.
WHEN are gloves unsaleable Y-When
| they are kept on hand.
| HIGH living that docs not produce the
gout-Livlng in garret.
EVERY Stakeholder Is interested in the
success Of the Washington Life.
VINO is the largest man i--The lover
he Is man Of tremendous sighs.
A GOOD protection against misfortune
A Policy in the Washington Life.
WHY do thieves lead a comfortable lfe2
Because they take things easy.
MEN Of regular habits-Those who get
drunk every morning before breakfast.
AN exchange paper says: "'Truth' is
in type, but is crowded out by more inn
portant matter"
WHY would Sampson have made an
excellent actor9-Because he could SO
easily nGdown the house.
How do people manage to sleep on
spring mattress all through the winter p
Judy
THE old gentleman whose memory car
ried him n long way back is requested to
return to his disconsolate friends.
IT is true wisdom to speak but little of
the injuries you have received or the good
deeds you have done.
A WIT once asked "a peasant what part
he performed in the great drama of life.
81 mind my own business" was the reply.
F" Is that clock right over there asked
a visitor the other day. "Right over
there" said the boy; "'taint nowhere
else"
AS continued health is vastly preferable
TO the happiest recovery from sickness, so
Is innocence superior TO the truest repent
ance.
LET us remove temptation from the
path of YOUTH" as the frog said when he
plunged into the water, upon seeing a boy
pick up a stone.
A CALIFORNIA paper says the Japanese
will "win universal respect by sort of
heathenish habit they have of minding
their own business"
A NEARsIGHTED man walked Off the
bridge into the Kennebec river, and upon
being miraculously saved, was "darnstion
glad he didn't lose his cane and specs"
AN exchange says that the only people
in Washington who mind their own bust.
ness are such young married pairs as hap.
pen TO be spending the honeymoon'at the
hotels.
THERE is an old lady in Lynchburg, Va,
who says she made q pair of stockings last
fifteen years by merely knitting feet to
them every winter, and legs every other
| winter.
A sCHooLMAsTER asked one of his
scholars, in the winter time, what was the
| Latin for cold. "Oh," answered the lad
81 forget at this moment, although have
1t at my finger ends"
A SETTING SPEECH.--A lady wished
seat, A portly, handsome gentleman
brought one and seated the lady. "OhlI
you're jewel" said she. ooh! no." he
replied, " am a jeweler; have just set
the jewel"
"IT is sad moment in life" said Cynic,
"when you find that love, glory, happi.
ness, are, altogether, not worth good
cigar" ut is sadder moment still, )" re-
piled his friend, when you find that the
cigar itself is bad"
AN urchin, hearing his father read an
article in the paper in relation to n new
invention of bricks of glass, exclaimed
Glass brlcksS know what them is"
What are theyy" inquired one of the
family; "Tumblers of liquor" said the
juvenile.
EVA" Mamma, what is a goslingS"
Mamma-"A little goose, dear" Eva
And a ducklingH" Mamma-"A little
duck, dear" Eva-"Then is an inkling
a little inkH Because If II is Pve got an
inkling on my apron. ."-Fun.
AN old man from the country was re-
CcutlJ TODDeu Oh SAtCnel containing
$4,000 in bonds at the New York Sub.
Treasury. He had laid It on the floor of
the rotunda and was reading the bulletin
notices, when an unknown person walked
off with the bag and contents.
Or 1,7T7 Protestant missionaries, 533
are in India and Ceylon, 277 in South AT
rica, a17 in Guiana and the West Indies,
100 in the Pacific islands and the China
Sea, 80 in China and Japan, 1872 in West
Africa, and ~ in Western Asia,
THE father of Dorabella recently found
that little girls chubby little hands full
OF the blossoms of a beautiful tea rose, on
which he had bestowed great care. "My
dear" he said, "didnt l tell you not to
pick one of those flowers without leavcP :"
Yes, papa" said Dorabella, "but all
these had leavesi"
"Josu," inquired new importation
| from tine old country, "does the sun never
rise in the West :" "Never,p said Josh.
"You don't say so, Joshy Well, YOU
won't catch rne going out West, If it's al
ways night there, I have a cousin out
there who is always Boosting how pleasant
II Is there but suspect it's all moon.
| shine"
LIVER AND LIauTs-
Two friends were riding by house
| Fast tumbling TO decay,
| Whose open doors and broken panes
Revealed no face of clay.
Said ons, "ths liver has gone out;
Judge kom all these sights"
"Ays," cried the other, merfily,
The Liver and the Lghtsw
& SINCE the story has been told Of HOW,