The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-05-12
Marie ge.
BY JOSH BILLINGS,

BY JOSH BILLINGS.
Marriage is fair transaction on the
face ov it.
But there IL quite too often put up
jobs in it.
1t is an old institushun, older than the
pyramids, and az phull ov hyerogliphies
that nobody can parse.
History holds its tongue who the pair
was who fust put On the silken harness
and promised to work kind i'll it, thru
thick and thin, up hill and down, and on
the level, rain or shine, survive or perish,
sink or swim, drown or float.
But whoever they waz. they must have
made good thing out of it, or so meny
oy their posterity would not hay harness
ed Up since and drove out.
Thale IL CRATE moral grip to mar.
rage; it IL the mortar that holds the
sooshul bricks together.
But there ain but few pholks who
put thelr money in matrimony who could
set down and give good written opin-
Gun VIII on earth they cum to did it.
This Il CRATE proof that it IL one oy
them natral kind ov acksidents that must
happen, jist az birds fly ont ov the nest
when they haV feathers enuf, without
be ng able teW tell why.
Some marry for buty, and never dis
kcVer their mistake; this is lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't see
it.
Sum marry for Pedigree, and feel bic
for six months, and then very sensibiy
cum tew the conclusion that pedigree
ain no Setter than skim milk.
S7r1 ,.1a,,.yr bal-ascua +l,ar5 hoyrn b,r
highsted sum where else this IL cross
match, bay aud sorrel; pride may
make it endurable
Sum marry for love without cent il
their pocket, nor friend in the world
nor drop ov pedigree. This looks des
perate, bit 1t Il The strength Of The game
Ii marrying Tor love an t success ther
matt imoay is ded beet.
Sum marry because they think win
min viii be scarce next year, and live tt
wonder how the crop holds out.
SUM marry tew get rid Of themselves
| aid diskover that the game waZ on;
that two could play at, and neither win
Sum marry the second time to sc
even, and find it a gambling game-th,
more they put doWn the less they tax
| up.
Sum marry tew be happy, and no
| fin ling it, wonder where all the happi
ness goes to when it dies.
,S..so marry. thev can't tell why, ano
live they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married, and
is good joke.
Sum marry in haste. and sit down an'
think it carefully over.
Sum think il oyer carefully fust, am
then sit down and marry.
Both ways are right, if they hit th
mark.
oum marry rakes tew convert them
This IL little risky, and smart mis-
sionary to do it.
sum marry coqnets. This is Ike
poor farm heavily mortgaged, and work
ing the balance OF your Gays to clear Cpl
the mortgages.
Married nIe haz It's chances, AID thi
IL just what gives it its favor. Every
bod luvs tew phool with the chances
bekausa am authorized tew state tina
every body don't win.
bat. a,ttr All, married life is full q
CERTAIN as the dry goods bizness.
No man can swear exactly WHARF b
viii fetch up when he touches calico.
made up its mind taw do next.
Calico don't kuo even herself.
Dry goods owe ali klnQa al gne child o
CT cumstansIs.
sam never marry, but this liz just c
risky; the diseaZe IL the same, with a
other name to it.
The man who stands on the bank
shivering and dassent, is more apt tel
ketcll cold than MIN who pitches III
head tust into the river.
Ihare Il but teW who never marry be
kause they gcon they all banker, an
most ov them starve with bread befcr
them tspread on both side.), jist for 5h
lac!. OF grit.
Ilu7y y1tng! is nj motto.
| hev tried it, and [ know what [ al
talking about.
Lfenny hcdy asks you viii va got maj
red it needs be-, tell him yu don't n
co2lezt.
Marriage is safe way to gamble
VI win, you win pile, and if yu loze, Y
don loze emmy thing, only the pcivileg
ofliying dismally alone, and soaking you
own feet.
repeat II, in Italics, ag1ar7y W3ng !
Ihare IL but one good excuse for
marriage late in life, and that &c sex
0ad marriage. -Ne1o loy}5 Weehly.
| e--..-s