The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-29
BY MARX TWAIN.

BY MARX TWAIN.
E1-Constable Quinn desired the club TO in= /
form him how to make hogs root So u , Il
Dr. Slow had been practical farmer for
the last six weeks, and in all the varied agri- !
cultural experience no such article as hogs
root had ever come uIder his notice. What |
was it! Was it edible? Was it useful in any
way2 or was it, as he more than suspected,
another worthless humbug devised by the
sharpers to defrand US practical farmers7 He
know not whether il was propa gated by seeds,
or by cuttings, but be would advise Mr. Quinn
to be shy of hog's-root, especially if it was
new tangled or high-priced tuber, I. -
Mr.. Moker, the agricultural writer, ex-
planned the anatomy of the hogs probosci'.
1t is designed for subterrancan foraging, by
a process yulgarly called roofing, to which
Mr.. Quinn's inquiry probably referred, Be-
ing delicate organ, it is liable to in jury. He
! would recoulme nj that Mr.. Quinn wipe his
hogs nose If he finds it red, he may be sure
! tits tender and needs protection ~ metallic
shield. Some resort to the strategic device
of inserting a wire ring in the hog s nose,
in his efforts to remove which he would M tu-
rally thrust his snout into the soil, and thus
root UNIV ittingly. That was playing it rather
low on the hog, and the me tallic shield was
preferable on the score Of fair dealing, and
philanthropy. ..,.. ses avs ss-t g., .a.-:.;
Mr.. Greeley exhibited pumpkin OF, his
own raising. AS it embodied his solitary and
GROWING success, after several years of dis
I7couragng failure in pumpkin culture. the
club surrounded it with uncovered heads and
mingled emotions of surprise, admiration and
envy. 1t was a superb fruit, and when Mr,
G.is hat was placed on it, to illustrate its
size and symmetry, the. hat and pumpkin
seemed so perfectly adapted to each other,
and together produced an effect 50. startling.
i that several enthusiastic members swore thcy
would have known who raised that pumpkin
if they. had seen it anywhere. 1t is to be
photographed by Quincy, and next year S
Tribune subscribers willreceive copies. The
pumpkin was the fa.tering product of one
bushcl of seed planted on the farm in Cham
pagna. Soon after blossominS 3 the vine mani
tested IN inclination to wither. 1t Was there
upon tran splanted to a large aower-pot and
removed to the town residence Of its founder
For some time 1t pinned and dropped and
they sat UP nigass with it, expecting that
every moment would be its last, but every
mement turned out not to be its last
and with careful uursingit finally rallied and
came up to maturity as cherished and tough
pumpkin as5cvcr grew. aa z.- a5 ,F@ss .
! DIR. Sixhanmers suggested that the result
OF MI. us 1nuomtG,Ss struggle
pumpkin showed how every city Family
could provide itself with pumpkinp pie. He
hoped to see the day when every window-sill,
in every city, would be adorned with fructi-
flying pumpkin-pots, and every workman S
cottage cmbowercdin pumpkin-vines
Thomas Dodd, of n ew Hampshire, writes
to tho club that he is fifty years odd, infirln
with cars.niption, has Il argefamily, ten dol
rars in money! and wants to know what to do.
Mr.. Moker-Ga out to Greeley Colony and
| invest in our irrigating ditch. Dad ara o3i
Mr. Layman-Buy "a Texas rancho or IA
| Florida orange grove. .y.sHsssg.E
1 DIR. eSumble-Hs health requires light
farming IN bTacing climate. Let him start
an indiga plantation in AIaska.Tas6 sdt
| Mr.. Greeley-He mustn't come t, New York
His $40 wouldn't last year; but o,ltiwest lie
can invest it and grow up with the country
If had gone West with $40 at his age /
should be & happy man now, with two suits Of
respectable garments, an Office and a con-
science guiltless of distraeting tariff and
farming essays. VS. Toaf 20 t.las
+ Mr.. Herrings invited the club to visit his
farm. thirty miles up the river. ne xt Wedncs
I, DAY and inspect horse radish that he had
4 persuaded to vegetate The ground was
titled, sub-soiled, and top-dresscd He had
expended on that plant only halfa ton Of bone
dust, one cart load of ashes and barrel of
! guano; yet nspite of his nc,' 4. it had within
ayear grown to the size of his little farer
| His foreman would explain to she clerk the
peculiar difficulty of raising this rare exotic,
tHcwould treat the club to a regul ar farmers
dinner, the material for which he had ALREADY
engaged ut the city markets zee ned 81 a1zi q
The club accepted and adjourned Is laa s.
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