The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-10-07
MARK TWAIN.
His Experience at the Presidents
Reception.

Reception.
From the Galaxy FOR October.
After l had drifted into the White
House with the flood tide of human
ity that had been pushing steadily
up the street for an hour, l obeyeC
the orders Of the soldier at the door
and the policeman within, and bank
ed my hat and umbrella with col
ored man, who gave me a piece of
brass with a number on it and said
that that thing would reproduce the
property at any time Of the night.
doubted it, but l was on unknown
ground now, and must be content to
take a good many chances.
Another person told me to drop in
with the crowd and l would come to
the President presently. / Joined,
and we drifted along till we passed a
certain point, and then we thinned
out to double and single file. 1t
was a right gay scene, and a right
stirring and lively one; for the whole
place was brightly lighted, and all
down the great hall, as far as one
could see, was a restless and writh-
ing multitude of people, the woman
powdered, painted, jewelled, and
splendidly upholstered, and many
of the men glided with the insignia
of great naval, military and ambas-
sadorial rank. It was bewildering.
Our long line kept drifting along,
and by and by we came in sighr Of
the President and Mrs. Grant. They
were standing up shaking hands and
trading civilities with our procession.
I grew somewhat at home little by
little, and then I began to feel salts
fed and contended. l was getting to
be perfectly alive with interest by
the time it came my turn to talk
with the President. took him bv
the hand and looked him in the eye
and said:
swell, 1 reckon see you at last,
General. / have said as much as 8
thousand times, out in Nevada, thai
if ever / went home to the States
would just have the private satisfac
tiOn of going and saying to you by
word Of mouth that l thought you
was considerable of a soldier, any
way. Now, you know, out there
We"
1 turned round said to the fellow
behind me:
"Now, look here, my good friend,
how the nation do you suppose lean
talk with any sort of satisfaction
with you crowding me this way2
am surprised at your manners"
He was modest-looking creature
He said:
"But you see the whole process
sion's stopped, and they're crowding
up on me-"
l said:
Some people have got no more
lCheck. just suggest to the parties
behind you to have some respect fol
the place they are in and not try to
shove in on a private conversation
What the General and me are talk
| ing about amt of the least interes
to them"
Then 1 resumed with the Presi
dent:
"Well,well, well. Now this is fine
This is what l call something IKE
Gay? Well, I should say so. AnC
so this is what you call a Presiden
tial reception. I'm free to say thai
lit just lays over anything that ever
1 saw out in the sagebrush. have
been to Governor Nye's Injun re
lceptions at Honey Lake and Carson
City, many and many a time-he
that's Senator Nye now-you know
him, of course. Inever saw a MAI
in all my life that Jim Nye didn't
know-and not only that, but be
could tell him where he knew him
and all about him, family included
even if it was forty years ago. Mos
remarkable man, Jim Nye-remark-
able. He can tell lie with that pu
rity ofaecent, and that grace of ut
terance, and the convincing emot
ton"
L turned again and said:
"My friend, your conduct surpri
ses me. 1 have come three thousand
miles to have a word with the Presi
dent Of the United States upon sub
jects with which you are not evel
remotely connected, and by the living
IgeewhilIkins 1 can't proceed witt
any sort of satisfaction on accoun
of your cussed crowding. VIII yo1
just please to go a little slow, now
and not attract so much attention b,
your strange conduct? If you hat
any eyes you could see how the by
ISLANDERS are staring"
He said:
"But tell you, sir, it's the peo
pie behind. They are just growlins
and surging and showing, and 1 wisl
1 was in Jericho, 1 do"
said:
81 wish you was, myself. Yol
might learn some delicacy of feeling
in that ancient seat Of civilization
maybe Draf if you don't need it."
And then 1 resumed with the Pres
lident:
"Yes, sir, I've been at receptions
before plenty of them-old Nye'sIn
Jun receptions. But they warn't a
starchy as this by considerable. Nc
great long strings Of high-hiers lik'
these galoots here, you know, bu
lold high-havored Washoes and Pi
lUtes, each one of them as powerful
as a rag factory on fire. Phew
Those were halcyon days. Yes, in
deed, General, and madam, many anC
many's the time, out in the wilds o
Nevada, I've been"
perhaps you had better discon
Itinue your remarks till another TIM
sir, as the crowd behind you ar,
growing somewhat impatient" thr
President said.
"DO you hear that?7 l said to tn,
fellow behind me. Il suppose yOI
will take that hint, anyhow. 1 tel
you he is milder than l would be. l
l was President, 1 would waltz yOl
people out of the back door if yoU
came erowding a gentleman this way
that 1 was holding a private cOnYer
satiOn with"
And then I resumed with th'
President:
!