Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1870-10-28
MINOR a1ENr1oW.
an over-bored''-an 80

| hS~9 OF~A hA0 4AuBBCt9 OA B94A
~ can't bear a fool. said a lawyer to
a farmer. ''Your mother could, said
the farmer
In Mississippi sixty-one out Of every
one hundred Of the population can
neither read nor write.
Young women often keep their lovers
by tears. 'Yes. says Grumwig. love
like beef is preserved by brine. T"
Cider being so plenty this fall and
muriatic acid so cheap, it is hoped the
price Of champagne viii not rise as high
as was feared.
Berlin advices say there are 65o, 900
/ German troops in France -twenty-one
corps-and three more corps under arms
at home.
A lava grandee is coming to this
country with eighty-tWo children, and
desires to secure board in some quiet
family.
Cant we make your lover jealous.
miss p ''Oh yes, sir, think we can. if
we put our heads together"
1t is so hilly in some parts Of New
Hampshire that the people look up the
chimneys to see when the COWS come
home.
A bridge at Denver, California sports
this notice mo vehicle drawn by
more than one animal is allowed to cross
this bridge in opposite directions at the
same time,
An observer Of human nature reports
that he has seen some people possessing
the peculiarly of three hands right
hand, left hand, and little behind
hand.
The neat thing il dog robes this sea-
son is to have the family monogram
in gilt upon the blanket. a dog without
a monogram blanket is Of no account
A rude fellow once told Mr.. Barnum
he had never exhibited anything that
wasn't a barefaced humbug. eyes,
have" said Mr.. Bamum; the bearded
lady wasn't barefaced.'
A journal in the German language, in
Hebrew letters, is printed al the Hunga,
rian University printing Office, at Ofen,
under the title of s5sisaischs Fesfef Esft-
ing a weekly.
think I am rather fond Of silent peo-
pie myself; can not bear 70 live with
a person who feels compelled to talk
because he is my companion. Dzalaelf.
Snooks was advised to get his life
insured. won't do It, said he ''it
would be Just my luck to live forever if
I should" Mrs. Snoolzs merely said,
''Well, I would not, my dear"
Patience-To be able to sit calmly
for an hour and talk to the editor Of a
paper when he is in the middle Of his
first editorial.
The Russian government has come
into the possession Of highly valuable
manuscript. It is the first edition Of the
Koran, edited by the Caliph Omar, Il
was purchased by the Governor Of Iash-
kend, in Central Asia.
Female reporters are a great success.
But then, you know, females always
were good at reporting. It is keeping a
thing they find so difficult. Try EN- on
that Oht0 State 20aN11taL
A phrenologist remarlSing that some
persons had the organ of murder and
benevolence strongly and equally de-
his friend replied, "that doubt
less those were the persons who would
kill one with kindness.
Are you not alarmed at the approach
of the King of TerTors b? said the minis
ter to a sick man. "Oh, mol / have been
living six and thirty years with the queen
Of terrors-the king cannot be much
worse T.
Sydney Smith says, regarding the un-
necessary consumption of food; "Accor-
ding to my computation have eaten
and drunk, between my tenth and sew
entieth year, forty-four wagon loads
more than was good for me.
An Indianian recently laid IN meat
enough to last him life time. He mar
ried wife who weighs 40 pounds.
A Canadian Indian had the following
epitaph inscribed on his tombstone;
Here lies poor Tohpny Konkupod5
Have mercy on HIM gracious COD
He would on you II he was God
And you was Johnny konkupodf
A gentleman sent a lad with a letter
10 the postoffice and money to pay the
postage. Having returned with the mon
ey he said. Guess I've done the thing
slick; I've seen a good many folks put
tin letters in the postofdce through
hole and so I watched my chance, and
got mine in for nothing.
Mrs. Parington, on reading an ac-
count of a schooner having her jiD-boom
carried away in Long Island Sound, one
night last week, wondered "why people
would leave such things out O. doors
nights, to be stolen, when there we're SO
many burglars about, hltering every
thing they could lay their hands TO-
''AIy dear Madam, can you give me a
glass of grog?" asked a fatgued traveller
in Arkansas, as he entered a cabin on
the roadside. 81 amt got a drop, suan-
ger, - replied the woman. But gentle
man told me that you had barrel
'fWhy, good gracious, replied the
woman, ''NVhat do you reckon one bar
rel of whisky is to me and my children,
when we are out of milz2'
Down east there resides a certain III.
D. One very cold night he was aroused
from his slumber by a very loud rap
ping at his door. After some hesitation
he went to the window and asked;
'Vho is there?' Friend! was the an-
swer. "What do you want2' "Want TO
stav here all night % "Stay there, then.'
was the benevolent reply.
They say out on the plains that if
those dead head excursion parties don't
1nn coming out there, they'll give 'em
worth telling about One
sweet creature in q looped skirt Iyro-
Iesea hat and heavy chignon, recently
scared a buffalo SO badly that his hair
turned white in single night
The night Of the steamboat explosion
1t Oswego, a guest at one Of the hotels
aad requested to be called at hve o'clock
n the morning, and. on being aroused
BY the explosion, with a rafting Of win-
lows and wash pitchers, he sprang out
3f bed promptly, calling out to the sup
posed porter, "That viii do; you needn't
make such a id noise about it.
The King Of Prussia owns swamp
angel, presented 20 him by the inventor
and builder, NJ. Krupp. Of Essen Prls-
sia. This gun is the largest in the world,
Weight Of gun, $4,000 pounds weight
Of carriage, 5000 pounds cahoer, "a
inches weight of steel shot, I,2t7
cast-iron shell, 1850 pounds;
sxtreme length, II feet 9 inches cost
100000.
A sharp student wa. called up by the
worthy Professor Of a celebrated college
ind asked the question, "Can man
.ae ,1-ifho11t ewes p ffNee sir t Wne Ehe