The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-08-11
Answers 20 Correspondents.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

THOMAS. "" Jordan is 2 hard road to
travel kant tell you who waz the in
Ventor OF this saying, some foot sore cuss
probably, who waz too lazy to keep 8
hoss and Wagon.
"FERDINAND."-"M Man wants but little
here belo, nor wants that little long," is a
libel; man soaats everything be can see, or
hear ov, and never is willing to let go of
biz grab. Whenever yu find d man who is
thoroughly satisfied with what he has got,
yu Will find either an ideot, or one who
hsZ tried haTd TO git some more and
couldn't do it. The older man grows,
the more wantful he bekumS, al hiz bold
on life slackens, hiz pinch on q dollsr
grows grippy.
MARCUS. -" If a man asks for bread.
Will yu give him stun," IL Bible oues-
ton, and IL fair one. | have known
folks TO give bread that waz stoney. That
IL as near az | Kan answer the question
now.
"HERoD. He that puts 8 small value
on his services, issues proposals to the
lowest bidder. When yu make request
OF divine Providence, it is best to be
modest, If yu eXpekt to sit whist yu ask
for, but there is SO little modesty in the
world, between men, that when we cum
across 1t we mistake il for Ignorance, or
imbecility. Yu will often see little BOYS
ketchirg iiies, and killing them Just for
fun, but you don't see them ketch hornets
just for fun. The sting in the hornets
tail is what makes him respectable.
MILLER "-Iu have got il right the
fust time, ingratisude IL one or them
crimes that every body sticks up their
noze at, it is the worst insult we can Civ,
or receive, it lets man drop down belo
the level Of the dunn brutes, for the vel
lowest and neanest dog in the United
States ways hiz tail if yu throw him but
a burnt crust. What an awful thought it
IL, that ingratitude iz the common sin
against God.
"MATILDA kissing IL one ov the
rudiments; babies are learnt it instead ov
the alphabet, but they don't understand
the strong points in il, yet they seem to
luV 1t without knowing why this IL a
bricky argument that kissing is one NV
natures most natural noshuns. | kant tell
you whether thare is emmy particular
etiket to be observed in administering a
kiss or not. Between lovers it is sum
times usual to Kiss and hang on, but it
strikes me that the best way is to cum up
front face, IN single file, then fire and fall
back one pace; This gives the patients a
chance tew get the flavor. The great buty
ov 3 kiss lies in It's impulsiveness, and its
impressibility, two big words, but worth
the mummy.
L haven't done emmy thing in the kiss
ing line (oV an ameteur natur), Of lste
years, and there may be some new dodge,
that aint posted in, but the old fashion
ed, 20 years ago kind, remember fresh,
that kind don't hev emmy msthcmsticks ia
II, but was more like spontaneous com
bustion.
Kissing, IS general thing, IL not very
interesting to hystanders, and il sumtimes
even looked upon, by a third party, az
uncalled for.
"WARwICK." ."-"He that giveth tew the
poor, lendeth TO the Lord," if yu had
read yure Bible eZ much eZ ] hev, yu
wouldn't hav asked ne if Shakespeare
wrote this remark
Charity iz az mulch ov privilege az it
IL a duty, and lending to the Lord liz un-
doubted security for any mans muDny.
lie that gives nothing away while iiy-
ing, dies d bankrupt, and his estate IS
generally settled by hiz heirs, a good
deal az the crows settle a dead hoss-by
pitching into the remains.
Thare liz many folks whose hearts bile
with charity, but whose eXtremitys are
cold, a half a-dOliar kontracts to three
cent piece BY the time it reaches the end
Ov their fingers.
"GILDAD. juicy letter haZ ques-
tioDs enuff tew make a district school
master faint, and il | should answer them
ali, yu would be fuller Ov edukashun than
an aumanak
Who the author of the sing, 1.-The
good die yung," wss, l don't care, but
| will remark, If that IL a good bet, the
younger man can die the better, and not
tew De born at all, is ded sure thing.
Again, NJ it regards the number oy
years that kat kan live, that depends en-
! tirely upon circumstances, they kant
live over Sunday with me.
"ABEL. ."-Yu kant pick out a hypo
krite by his looks emmy more than yu kan
| fl. oyster by the shell; they are fre
uuently like al old muSket laid away up
garret, hay often been known To let oDh a
charge that had been sleeping with one
| eye open tor years They are like silver.
| plated forks, wear well tor a long time but
are sure to show the odIOus brass al
last
"HANNIBAL."-Giving presents with
the hope ov receiving presents in return
takes away awi the cream or giving or re
celving; il is like swopping skim m-mils )
| for milk that has been skimd.
"hERCURY. "-"Owe for a lodge in
sum vast wilderness" waz the private
opinion ov Mr.. Cowper, one ov the very
| few men who have lived yet who was
pure enuf tew monopolize woods with
out emmy company but hiz soul and the
God who made 1t. Most people hoiler fol
solitude without thinking that it iz q
thickly settled place, full ov memorys
Solitude il the last place for good maj
to go to. and the only place that wicket
msn can't live in. Even wild beasts
| don't like solitude, and luv TO see Ia,
smoke of a chimney. Solitude in sinai
doses " all well enutf, but % miles equal
NV il would make most men either cOun