Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1870-01-22
YARIETIES.

If you would look spruce In your old
age, do not pinein your youth.
IL one tumbles from the use Of juice
of the grape, Is It not very much like
a case of grape shot?
Nix. Punch knows q young man who
is so lazy that he will not labor even
under m impression.
BUSINESS men in Kansas think them
selves strongc and active enough to
clerk buffalo beef into the markets
of Europe.
CoNGREvE, in one of his comedies
speaks of n lady "who has got such
everlasting rotation of tongue that echo
hath no chance with her. but must
wait till she dies to catch her last
word"
"FATrIER," said a cobbler's lad, "a
he was pegging away Mt an old shoe,
"they say that.thc trout bite like every
thing" SWELL" replied the old gentle
man, "stick to your work and they
won't bite YOU"
81 think l have seen you before sir"
said one gentleman to another. care
you not Owen Smith," "Oh, yes"
replied the other; Pm OWN Smith,
and OWN Brown. and OWN Jones,
ind OWN everybody"
The Louisville tKy.) Commercial says
it Is getting to be a custom In that city
for doctors to write OH their states
when leaving their offices: "Gone to
fight q duel-will be back this evening,
God and the seconds willing"
They have curious style o flovemak-
ing ont West, for paper says: "1hc
young people who were feeding each
other, dove fashion, over 4 gate post
the other evening, had better be q lit
tic more cautious in the future"
On Bill Williams, who for % years
has been q stage driver in the West,
died at Atlantic City, Iowa, on Thurs
day. He died delirious. exclaiming,
"Hey, Tiger boy" Tiger being a
favOrite horse of his in former times.
JINKs has been indulging too fire.
qucntly in ardent spirits. At a street
his hat drops into a gutter.
Says Jinks: | know. If l pick you
up I'll fall. If | fall you won't
p-hic-me-hic-up. Good night! :"
And he walks oil with q smile Of con-
quest.
Two of the Ecumenical bishops
brought with them 80, 600 in treasure
for the Pope. and were In the act of
alighting with 1t ut their hotel, when
the driver of their vehicle suddenly
laslied his horse and got away with
the box which had been guarded with
such care.
"AH" said Sunday school teacher,
sab Caroline Jones, what do you
think You would have been without
your good father and pious mother?"
IL suppose, mum" sald Caroline, who
was very much struck with the soft ap-
peal, 81 suppose. mum, I should la'
been an horplnn.'
EIzARETn CADY STANTON saws the
that she refused to attend
The Cleveland Woman's Suffrage Con-
ventiOn because her actions had been
by some of the members, was
lie, and adds: 81 did not know the |
telegraph wires would lie. How de-
noralized the age must be, when even
electricity can be made to tell lies"
A MARRIED gentleman, every time
ne met the father of his wife, COM
planned to him of the ugly temper and
disposition of his daughter. At last,
upon n occasion becoming weary of
he grumbling Of his son-in-law, the
I'D gentleman exclaimed: "You are
light, she is an impertlnent jade, and
f | hear any more complaints of her l
will dlsinherit her." The husband
made no more complaints.
Din. G., of Sycamore, ILL.,, riding
II the country one day, saw a sign OH
gate post reading thus: "This farm
or sail.'' Stopping his horse he hailed
little old woman, who stood on tip
oe hanging out clothes. 81 say,
madam, when Is this farm going to
aR?n "Just rs soon, sir, said the
id lady, placing her thumb to her
lose, Gas anybody comes along who
an raise the wind! ~ The doctor
thoughtfally Oh,