, 1870-05-29

1
was written in such way that tts most Glon-
ous promises and most triumphant hopes were
for people in trouble. "Count it all ioy when
ye fall into divers Affections" seemed, Is pc
remembered Be sbout out the tenst .;s &c q @ tno
self, ~ quake At tho nero distant shadows OF
an nEliction, and Am utterly unnamed Ut tho
thought Of losing treasures which profess 10
believe Of only secondary value, while yet l |
have and hold thst glorious hope Of treasure
Ii eternal"
Whether the Doctor succeeded In making lis |
future life square with his belief, ls yet 10 DO |
seen. |
a COUPLE OF SAD EXPERIENCES. !
Fto'" Nart 1t'a1"'s "Attno'a,aa in tie June
When published s1uib recently. in which
said was going to edit an agricultural do
rarsnent in this magazine, certainly did not
desire to deceive anybody. had not the re-
deuce with practical joke, for be is a pitiful
creature indeed who will degrade the dignity
OF Ills humanityto the contriving Of the uitlees
Inventions thnt 60 by that name. Ipurposely
wrote the thing ss absurdly and az extrara-
gantly a. it could be written, in order to be
sure and not mlsead burned OF needless read
ers; for spoke Of launching triumphal
barge upon desert, and planting free OF
prosperity in a fine-a tree whose fragrance
should slnke The hirst Of the naled, and whose
branches ehonld spread abroad till they todaafsd
tu1,.cy like that would protect the reader.
But 10 make ASSURANCE sbsolnte. and show
that flid not and could not seriously mean
to attempt IN agricultural! Department. I
stated distinctly in my postscript that lm
not k1so,n anything about agriculture. But
- III t1,arn so r4n~o T IN
mistake--for that remark seems to have
recommended my proposed Agriculture more
than ANYTHING else. It let's little light in on
me, and fancy I perceive that the farmers
teel little bored, sometimes. by tho oFacular
rroiundity Of agricultural editors who know
it all" In fact, one Of ny correspondents
suggests this (for that unhappy sluib has
dcluged mo with letters about potatoes, and
cabbagee, aud hominy, and vermicelh, and
maccaroui, and all the other fruits, cereals, and
Eet done answering questions about tho best
WAY Of faising these things before go rarinG
crazy, shall be thankful, and shall never
Hrite phscur1ty for fun arY 1nore.l
tcntionally succeeded in foollng so many pco~
rlc: It il because sor1o OF them only read
little Of the squib wrote and jumped to the
conclusion that it WAS ecrions, and the rest did
not read it ut all, but hear Of my agricultural
venture at secondhand. Those cases could
not guard against Of course. To writo . bur-
lesqre 90 Wild that its pretended facts will not
be accepted IN perfect good faith by somebody,
is yer! nearly an impossible thing 10 do It is
because, IN some instances, the resdcr is =
himself, and therefore is not expecting any
one 10 wnntonlv practice deception upon
| him; and in this case the only person dis
houored is the man who wrote tho bullesqne.
buTlesQuc-if its object be to enforce a
t1uth-escapes notice il the superior gtare
OF 6ometiin3 in tho body Of the bnrlesque
itself And verr often this moral" il
tagge1 on At the bottom, and the reader, not
knowing that il is the key Of the whole thing
a.d the only important paragraph in the arti.
Gle. TRANQUILITY turns up his noeo ut it, and
leaves it unread. Ono can deliver eatirc with
telling force through the ineidious medium OF
t1aycstS. and so bury it from the reader 9
sight, and leave him ioked and defEaudet1
victim, when tho honest intent was to add to
either his knowledge or his wisdom have
had = deal Of experience in bnrlesques and
their unfortunate hptneas to deceive tho pnh.
| lie, snd this il why tried hard to make thai
agricultural one 20 broaA and 60 perfectly pal
/ rable that even a one-cyed potato could see it
and yet, ~ speak the solemn truth. it foolce
one Of the Ablest agricultural editors il
| America!
TIE pEIB1F1ED MAX.
Now, to show how really hard it is to foist ,
moral OF Truth upon an unAuepectlnE publ
l
! surdly naissinG ones mark. I will here He
, down two experiences Of ms own in this thing
| | In the fail OF 1867 in Nevada and California
the people got to running wild about e1traoE
| diuaty retIlfActions and other natural marvels
One could scarcely pick mp psper withoa
this kind, The mania WAS becoming little r
.llcuous. 1w3s bran-new local editor in VII
| Eiiia City. and felt called upon to destroy thi
! growing evil nc al have our benignant, faith
,.+t- 1nx 1Vr1r
/ chose to kill tho retr;faction mania With
t1ehcatc, ! very delicate. eatire. But maybe
1 was altogether too delicate. for nobody eve
' perceived tho sAtiro part Of il At all. Iput m
] sc.,t me in the shape OF tie discovery Of a n
9 narhse!e pett'1sed nsn: NJ n hsd temp mp
ner and Justice OF thu Peace OF Humboldt
t aud thought might IS well touch him up
s little at the same hne and mako him ridic'
: lous, and thus combine pleasure with busiues
t So told, in patient eief-compellng ttetail a
b about the finding Of petriied uaAn at Grave
70 ly For1 jexactly hundred and twenty mile
i over brcakpeck mountain trajl, from whel
Sewall Gved): how all tho sarants IN tho in
y mediate neighborhood had been to examine
le lit waa notorious that there WIS not = lssiu
10 creature within fifty milca OF there. except
ID few starving Indians, some crippled gras
ID | horre1s, and -four or fve buzxaTas out
meat and too feeble to get nwas): how tho,
u savants al pronounced the petrided man
ct hare been in state Of conplote petnfactts
I for over ten generations; and then, with
II scriousuees that ought to hayo been asham,
ut to assume, stated that Il soon II M1. SoWz
heard the news, he summoned = jury. uouut'
il hia mule, and poeted OF, with noble reve
ts encc for official duty, On that awful i've d.,
I'D body and imminent starvation, to hold
at inquest on this mAn that had be-
to dead and turned to everlasting sta
>, for moro than three hundred rear
i'd And then, my hand being in" 80 to sPe,
E" I went on, with the eane untlnehins rsyi
ny deceased came to his death from pTotrac
lie r17oNlrc. This only moved ne to higl
flights OF imagination, and said that tho ju
or. with that charity 80 characteristic Of prsone
'ur then due : g5ave, md were about y sivs
ing that for ages d limestone sediment hid b
cd | txickGng down the fsce Of the stone agai
er- Which lie was sitting, and this stuu hsd run
kes der him and cemcnted him fast to the "b
. in rock; :" that the Jury Qher we're all silver-n1
ia thea got out theis powder aud fuse, aud T
it. ceeded to drill hole under him, in order to b
gs, him from hit position, when Nr. Sewall, "v
an that dehcacJ 80 Characteristic Of him.
at badc them. observing that it would be i
less than saczaege to Do such thing. F,
hly WAS string Of roaring ahsurdities, albeit
dc wern told With IN unfair prctence Of truth
sgs even imposed upon mo to SONIC extent, Al
was in some dAnger Of believing in my
zero fraud But really had no desire to dec
anybody. and no expectation OF doing it
ins depended on the way the pesziiied man
lore | siding to explain to the public that ha "
swindie. let I Purposely mixed thst up
the other things, hoping to make it obscu1e-a
that did 1wuuld describe tho position Of one
and then say his right thumb was agaiuss
iy- sidc Of his noea; then talk about his Q
is : foot, and presently come back and ssy
her dnEcIs of his right hand weTo spread n
girl then talk about tho back OF his head u
,now and return and say the left thumb waa ho
l.ces into the right Little finger; then tanabl
or Abont something else. and by and by
They back again and remark that the hngeys .
left hand were spread like those Of the :
On Of Bnt VAS too ingenious. mixed it up r
DOL too much and 20 ali that description Q
attitude, rs \ ley to the humbuggery Q
Mrs. article, was entirely lost, for nobody bu
! ever diseovcred and comp1eheuded the
e,r," lar and suggestive position Of tho pet
mans hands,
,chlv ASS satirs On the pst,ifsction mani
Dr. ANYTHING else, my Pe1iied Man WAS .
ball hesrtening failure; for everybody ree
bell- him In innocent good fifth. and Wis str
to see the creature hxd begottao t.
Nu. down the wonder-busineas with and
awe deEsion upon il, calmly e1Ated 70 The
. vell chief pl.ce IN the LIST Of The genuine u
our Nevada had pfoduced vas 10
T. md oetnted u tha curious uaiae1Sxl1go q