The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-10-29

tcHucLfOuS, t0e bt8tety IOrfuB OF ire
lords OF "coblerdom." The auditorium
was filed 10 overhowing. The Presi-
noble Mac-took his seat
amid profound silence; with q stately
wave of the hand he motioned the other
officers to their seats, and the sergeant
alarms (for the qnel will show they
had need Of one,l 10 his position. The
'Long" secretary called the role, and
all the members Of the great body be
ing present, tie president rose from his
at,and stroking his magnificent beard .
said (brcathlcss silence pcrvading):
Ahem, not being a
public speaker, ahcm; hat is, gentle
men, tina; is not being accustomed To
public speaking IA well studied wave of
a snow-whiIe handkerchief1: / mean
to say have never addressed public
assembly before, and if | 10 not come
up to your expectations it will not be
for the want Of trying. Vociferous
applause, and cries Of "bray-vo Mac. u
Gentlemen 1t gives me unalloyed plea
sure to meet you here tonight-it does
so it does, ahem. ! have had an IN
quenchable desire to be on an equal
footing with you all; it was burning
me up, until there was scarcely any
thing left of me but crisp. (Another
stroke of the flowing beard, and the
speaker paused to wipe the perspiration
of his alabaster forchead.) But, gen.
tlemen, the action of this ass emily
has satisfied, aye, more than satisfied,
my devouring ambition. That you
would have acknowledged my great
abilities was more than | ever dreamed
of, and now gentlemen,-yes, gentle
men, and | must say gentlemen-be-
cause you are gentlemen-and you have
proved yourselves to be not gentlemen
only, but men of gumption. (Here a
pause ensued. and the speaker drew
from his pocket what appeared to te a
pocket dictionary, and after consulting
a moment returned it with satisfied
airl-by placing me in juxta-position
Of your leader and chieftain. Oh, !
would that the mantle of honor had
fallen on some other shoulders, (quite
dramatic) but since it has pleased your
wisdom-which is very great-to make
a tool of me by placing it on mine, ]
shall proudly wear it, and give you all
the advantages Of my Utopian ideas,
which | have cherished from the day
before | was born up to the present mo
ment. loud and prolonged cheering.
Gentlemen: We have met here to
night for the consideration of a pom.
derous subject. It weighs heavily or
my capacious mind. 1t will be your
duty to dissect and analy re it in all it.
parts, and should you find yourselves
unable to agree upon some line of &C
ton, | will bring my great abilities and
business capacity TO aid you. Those
creatures-our hirelings-to whom We
have given employ ment in accordance
with our great charity, to put money
in our own pockets, have had the an
daciiy 10 form themselves into al
organization, and have had the daring
impudence to dictate to us what We
shall pay them. Is this not monstrous
1t is worse than monstrous, it is I'm
grateful.
'Oh, in. ratituds how sharp i thy sting"
And | know, gentlemen, il we have Il
accede to their demands,it will STING %,
pocket ike a streak Of creased light
) ming. Now, gentlemen, this is very
momentous matter, and | recommend
you give it your most serious consid
Grafton. As / look down upon yoU
from my high eminence, | can see YOU
, are men of great business capacities
/ You all have very large heads-espec
, tally the back parts Of them--and you
have very long ears, which, permit me
to say, without fiattcring yon, that il
indicates Won Will be able to 'brav''
over the storm.
Gentlemen: | cannot close without
again assuring you that will bring tC
your assistance all of aty great abilities
and my Utopian ideas, and with these
we, 1 am confident, can defeat the un
hsllowed purposes and unjust demand,
OF these deluded creatures. TTremen
! dous applause, amid which the speaker
in attempting to take his seat, missed
the chair, bringing his posterior in close
proximity with the floor, and his feet
i'll taking an upward direction, came il
contact with the table, which was M
set, spilling the water and breaking thu
tumblers.
After things had been set to rights
and the president had again taken hi.
seat, portly looking figure rose from
about the middle of the hall. Some
body SAID it was "Gamhan," other.
+ said it was major Of the militia 7
however, be 1t what it may, 1t spoke
with slightly perceptible twang d
the "brogue." 1t was evident that i
was a person of some importance, fol
, in that great audience you could have
heard pin drop. This silence contin
ed some seconds, during which time
the figure was getting itself into &
proper attitude. At last the silence
was broken, and the figure opened it,
mouth and said:
; Mr.. PRESIDENT AND GENTLEMEN
(here the figure became somewhat en-
barrassed by the eye Of the reporter
coming in contact with that Of his own.
Sirs, the business which has brought
us together is very. important-very
important, sir. Our worthy president
has set it before us in a very strong
and forcible manner, and, sirs, we are
indebted to you for the very logical
dissertation you have just given ms
upon the subject. Shure, sir, it be-
comes the duty livery man to look at.
ter his own interest, and faith, sir, when
a man can't do that his interest won't
look after him Shure, sir, there il 90
ing to be a great revolution in shoema-
king. Great sensation.) Och a-lan-
ma, shoemaking is not going 10 be what
1t used to be any more. Hush, sirs,
III till what that revolution is going to
be; faith, and it's the truth, and the