The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-05-07
WHY AUNT SALLY NEVER
GOT MARRIED.

"N"w. Aunt Sally, do please tell Us
why YOU never married You know
YOU said once that when YOU were a
Girl YOU We're engaged 10 minister
and promised YOU would tell MS all
about it some time. Now aunt, please
10.
Well. if ever did see such girls in
my born DAYS It, tease tease, from
morning till night, you must know ell
about everything Won haven't any busi-
ness 10 know ANYTHING about Such
inquisitivc, pe>titeroUs critters g. YOU
are. Vixen ] Was Young girls We're
different; they minded their own busi-
ness. and didn't go sailing around with
whole string Of heauX, getting their
heads filled with all kinds of nonsense.
| never dared to ask my aunts, married
or single, about any Of their affairs.
Pretty mess Id have got in if | had.
When they offered 10 tell me ANYTHING
of their own accord | kept my mouth
shut and listened Everything Is dit
terent nowadays. youug folks have no
respect for their elders But as ! see
that am not going to have any peace
till. tell YOU, why just listen, and don t
let me hear word out of Your mouths
till ! get through.
That's right Aunt Sally: 20 right
ahead, do, aud Wen kecpperfectly still.
We'll. you see, when ! was about
seventeen years old ! was living in
Utica. in the State of New York.
Though | say ii myself | was quite 4
good-looking girl then, and had several
bcauX. The one that took my fancy
most was Young minister, very prom
i>ins Young man, and remarkably pious
and steady. He thought a good deal of
me. and kind of took fancy to him.
and things ran on till we were engaged.
One evening he came 10 mel remem-
her it as well ~ If it were Yesterday
when he came into the rarlor where |
was sitting alone. he came up To me
and-but pshaw, Urls, l don't like TO
tell the rest
%. Aunt Sally, for mercys sake don
stop: tell Us what he did :?
We'll. a. | said. he came mp to me
and put his arms around me- when |
got excited and some frustrated; il was
a long time ago and don't know but
what might have Rugged him back n
little. Then | felt-hut just clear out,
every one OF Won, ] shan tell YOU any
more.
~Goodues>. gracious, no, Aunt Sally,
tell us how you felt. Didn't YOU feel
good? Andwhat did he do next?
%, such torments as YOU are ! was
like any other girl, and pretty soon |
pretended to he mad about it, and
pushed him away, though | wasn't mad
a bit. Iou must know that the house
where ! lived was on one Of the back
streets Of the town. There were glass
doors in the parlor, which opened right
over the street. and no balcony or any
thing of that kind in front OF the house.
A. il was in the summer season, these
doors were open and the shutters drawn
TO. stepped back a little from him,
and when he edged mp close | pushed
him away again. | pushed harder
than | intended to- and don't You think,
girls. the poor fellow lost his balance
and fell through one Of the doors into
the street. Yes, its 20, As he fell |
gave a scream and caught him-hut |
declare ! won't tell anything more. ] IN
going to leave the room.
! I'll III Il va
catch him? Did it hurt him much?
We'll ii | must ] must. As he fell
head first and as he was going caught
him hy the legs Of his trowsers. held
on for minute and tried to pull him
back, but his suspenders gave way, and
the POOR young man fell clear out of
his pantaioons into a whole parcel of
ladies and gentlemen passing along the
street.
20. aunty, aunty, lordy, lordy"
There, that's right; squeaE and gig
Gle as much as YOU want to. Girls that
cannot hear a little thing like that with
out tearing around the room and he-he-
ing in such way don't know enough
. 10 come nome Wnell IL Ioiu7' - "'NN
time the man that ever marrlcs one OF
you will have, wont he? Catch me
telling you anything again"
But Aunt Sally, what become Of him?
Did you ever see him again?'
No the moment he touched the
ground he got up and left the place in a
terrible hurry. | tell you it was sight
to be remembered to see how that man
run. Father happened to be coming
ND street at the time, and he said he
never saw anything to equal it in his
whole life. heard others say he did
the fastest running ever known in that
mart of the country, and that he never
stopped or looked behind until he was
two miles out Of town. He sent me a
note a few DAYS afterward, saying that
the engagement must be broken off, as
he could never look me in the face
again after what had happened. He
went out West and | believe he is
preaching out in Illinois. But he