, 1870-07-16

exclaimed: stun out! turn out my fA.hez's
difficulty, turned ont and gave hin the entiss
road. After ho had gpt fairiy by. the stranger
turned and inquired Of him when his f,ther
died to which the gcieS-haErowed citizen re-
sForded, about fifteen years aso!"
AT Plymouth there ia, or WIS, sm1I gree.
opposite the Government House. over whicL
no one was permitted to pas. Not creature
WIS allowed to approach, save the Generals
cow; and the sentry had particular orders to
turn away any one who Eeuts1red to cross the
forbidden tu1t- One day old Lady D., hav-
iur called II the General, in order to mass =
sbort CIT, bent her steps across the lawn,
when ste IVES arrested by the sea:r; calling
ont, and desiring her to return aud 50 tho
other road. She demonstrated Thu man
sid be could not Cisotey oraers- '. Bat.
said Lady D with = stately air, do you
na5 be, mA'am, replied tho in1novable cen
try. "but know who you ain't-you amt the
Generals cow!" ..-,
a good story is told Of Dz. stous and
Henry Ward Beecher. On some public ocea-
sion In. Stor1s WAS to preach in Plymouth
Cbn1ch. After the celebrities had got into
the pulpit. Mr.. Beecher ssid: - brother
preach is baptistry Of the most approved
pattern. It waa built by Jealous B.ptiat,
aud il inst The orthodox length and dopth-
The rl.tform is controlled b spring near
Ey loot lhcro Is u fnts time about three
feet 81 wafer IN tae t21k- Hnen nrothof
Ereschcs fer me-, and is very long and very
dry, touch the spring and let hm IN.
"A Glasgow merchant, on his heath-bod,
sent foF Free Church Clergyman. das7nE
scn:e fears regarding bis future prospects, 10
asked the reverend gentleman: DO you
think II we're TO leave -lo,ooV 70 the t[ec
k,rs tba1 ny ~ eoul , Tonld ne saved .,a:, VEL
iuss promise you that, but ! think 1fs an
e1peI1He NJ "en "ottn tlsnP.
sam m--ATea on ne banss OF Tue M pelar
ware, and WIS h16nts huh1e1. he Wsa
P.sgued win degenazate son, VINO MANI
Tested lest no pseaisef'on Tor ms father pdssu,ts;
he exclaimed in the bitterness Of his n,oftidea-
tlon, mtnss me, Iom, you're not getting
peEfectly worthless; you vii neither hunt uor
h@ III be hauged il don't send you to
school. .-., 1880.
When does Shakespeare give an instance Of
Gloucester steps Eng Henry's coffin.
a little girl who had beea studying, at a
safe distance, tho war-Gke ways Of the 1oldier-
crab, remarked to her mother, "I hope God
did not hurt himself when he wa making
him -
'S--''' +r.;t,,,r, ,zo,,,,, ,,,r. H., t,,:.t.h.
il ali The men we're in one county. aud Iii tfse
women in another with A bic river batvean
them, lots Of poor women would be drowued-
An crripg Indiana hen was recently found
in The buck part Of a hardware stnre. where
tla misCuided fowl had STRUGGLED far tbrea
weeks, irving to batcL out = dozen wbiis
porcelain door-knobe. She Was xer, mnch "a.
duced.
a noble red man. named John. recent,z
rettled In New fondon. Conn. stands ait fest
two iucbes in his moccssins and his Amsris
is thst tor High Lo Jack !"
=" Jenny" said = landlady to her help, tho
other morning "Jenny, was there any fire
ia tho Kitchen Iast n1cbt vhiia ron wera ait-
ting up?" "only Just spark. ma'aua," was
tbs ret,y. The jsndIaiv iookcS snsn;c;onsiv
At Jenny bnt the ;nnocant nj wsnt m scrnH.
bipg, and hurnming Katy DarIius.~
"A hint for Nj. Scheuck, Swifs at one dms
pronosed ia put = tax m female heautv. anil
10 leave every lady 10 rata her own cRa,ms.
he said The tat would be cheerfn1ly pail. and
would be very productive.
An Irish girl Who plumed tarscY IN being
employed IN : Agenteel f.mlly." vas asked z
definition OF the tenn. where tbey hnya
two nr three kind. ri wina nnri tha yertlernen
swear" was the reply,
cautious ioos aropnd he stole
His uaes OF ehink he chunk
And many wicked smile he aulolc-
anu many WINK he Wunk!
a couple Of fellows who were pretty thor
ouEhly soaked WITH bad whiakey got into tho
gutter After doundering about for few uiu-
utes, one Of them esid s'Jin, let's 20 to an
other house-this hotel leaks"
-BiAhop Aylmer said this in the presepcao Of
Queen Elzsbeth. II he had said it TO Miss
Anthony whAtswould have been tho result
F." Women are Of two sorts; some OF them arc
wieer, better learned, discreetcr, and more
constant than number Of men; but another
and worse sort Of them. and the most psrt.
arc fond, foolish, Wanton ibberRibs. tsttle.s'
t1ide1e, wayering, witless, without counsel,
feeble, careless. rash, proud, dainty, nice,
talc-bea asets, eayeslruppe1s, rumor-raisers,
e,;l-ttngued, worsa-mindcd, and in every
wise doItifei with tbs dreks Ct the devils
dnnp.hiI]-"
4 gentle man whnsa on,,,,t,,,;t;os u, a.~t,,
IT. - [1.a.,L4 sasft5 ~ m:a - eIy
s,s.asaJ a,u" e6 ns6.eeu, aaoelt ne nsa
tanning q party Of gentlemen at his house
walch ae had gorgeously furnished After
general survey OF the apartments. the host
called bis guests attention to SNOWY carpet
on one Of the apartments, with remark
"There, gentlemen. that il one Of the best
carpets Mf. Brussels ever mnda.'
-acar+ ,rr;ts- nnn,. ~ t-. ,,a u.,,,
+ic ro1;aion. .,an1 ..t III q aeo 80 ss ~
- - - ne.onS -. a. 1pesAa - En- G1o - oue VI
me eloest tMuese oellca- Mnefe Is the Iss-
caAy p!aBlA11st who CLAIMS "hhoo Fly
IL Bympathlze sincerely with YOUR grief"