The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1870-04-08
JOSH BILLINGS FAPERG
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Lost ATksI lsaJ Il .

l.
Sum ov our best and most sasrjsaie quill
jerken hav wit esssys On the ''Lost Arts"
and have did comps.aumy wen, but TIA hav
overlooked several of the mialin'. artikles,
which take The liberty 6n . strickly oouA.
denshall w.y) tsw draw their attention tew.
'Pumpkin Pie."-.This delitsum work ov
art IL, or rayther was, . Triumphant, con-
glomaashun of baked coe and biled pump
kin. .'." r.t-. ~
It wsz diskovered during the old of the
mune, in the year 1850, by Angelica, the no.
table wife of Rhehoboam Beechsr, then 70.
residing in the rural town Of M Guilford,
stait Of Connecticut, but since departed
this life aged .cighty-four ysers, three
mouths, six dazc, i've housS and fifteen
miunits. .s.-1s" %" 'a -
Psase to her dust. 81.
Thss pL immsjittly after its diseuvsry b
Angelica, proceeded into gentA ne, and
was the boss pi for over one husdrsd years.
In the year 1888 It was totally lorst
This pi haint been hesrd from since.
Large rewards hsv bin offered for its re-
covcry by the Governor OF Connecticut, but
it has undoubtedly ded forever.
Sum poor limitations ov the blessed old
original pi are loafiing around, but pump
king pi ~ 1t were with nut meg In it) il no
more.
Rsm and 1aasv. Good old NJ Eng.
land rum with. tanzy bruised into Il,
was known to our ancients and drank Nv by
the dckons and the elders Nv our churches
century ago. .u-l. .. a...~~
A haif pint Nv this here glorius mix.
tur upon Citing out Nv bed in the mornin',
then haf pint jist before sitting down to
breakfast, then thru the dey, q. statsd inter.
' .!s, haf . pint Nv IL, and sum more Nv it
jist before retirin At mite, il wat enabled our
fourfathcrs to shake oph the yoke of CRATE
Bsitten, and civ the American eagle the
majestick tired and laundering big bak
bone, which he used to hev. But lass
oh lass we hav now 70 Lass y spirits of
the dam.
One hslCpin& oy the present prevailing
rum woald ruin deacon in twenty minnilts.
Farwell, good old nu England rum. with
sum tanzy in yer, thou hast gone! yea, thou
hast gone to that bourn from whence no
good spirits Gums back.
Rum, reqxiescas, q Gqsorisiwus."
"Arley to Bed and arley 70 Riss."
When our ancestors landed on Plimoth
Rorck. out Nv the MayAour, and stood in
frunt OF the CRATE landscape spred out BE-
four them, reaching from the boysser0us At
lantick to the buzzum Of the graae Paci6ck,
they brot with them, among other tules, the
art Nv gistin' up In the molnin' and goin' to
bed In decent season. ... #.E
This art was AZ familiar 70 them - cod.
lish to breakfast. -'s
They knu Il by hart. s... -.
Il was The eleventh commandment In tie
katekism. sgs -r-sn- .a# aI
They taut II tcv their children, their
yung men and maydeus, and II yung wun
was emmy ways slow about larning It, he
VS. invited out to the korn krib. and tharc
the art was cggsplained to Linn. 80 that be
got hold Of the idce for ever and amen.
I am sorry to sey that this art 10 lost or
missing. .~-. ..n..... pa -..a. r.s
Wot los was here, my eounsrymeni #
Ipauze for reply. ~.-,
Not word do hear. ..ns..
Silence Il itz epitsph. ,. .4.;rsg ara ga
Perhaps some profane and unthinking
cuss will esgsclaim ripi" "a
Arly to bed and arley tew rize, Il either =
thing Of the past or thirg that amt cum
1T certainly don't exist in thesc parts now.
1t has not only gone itself, but It took oph
whole lot Of good things with 1t.
This art viii positively never be diskiv.
cred again; it wax the child Of innocense
and vigor, and this breed ov children are
like the babes in the wood, and deserted
bi their unkle. .-.,...rr.. .r,..,. .,.-s.re
"Ronesev"-Honesty IL one Of the arts
and scieuces." z7s ar5sy -szg- z7st1
Lurned men will tell rev that the abuv
sssershun ID one nv Josh aBillings internal
lies. and yer hevfs perfsck rite to bleeve
them, but don't. an. a...rt....a. . 1884 10.
Honesty IL jist - much IN art a. polite
neD h, and never wuz born with man en-
~ more than the capacity 70 spell the word
NsbuddkennozzoF right the first time wuz.
Il took me seven yeers to master this word,
and and Noer Webster both diAagsree
about the rite W now. H
Sum men are naturally more addicted tew
honesty than Others, jist q sum hev better
year fur nassick, and learn how to lower
and hist the 8 notes moro completely than
the next man.
Honesty = ens ov the lost q mialaid arts
There may b eggsceptions Q this rule,
bat the leagnsd pse all agrse that the .''eeg.
eeptions prove The rule. !" -.
The only douu have shout this matter i
tew lokste the tims very cluls, Wen hon
esty VA fuSt josk. . - ..f ~ r,,.3s u =,
When Adam, IL the garden Of Eden vas
asked. ''sssss sss Aos, Adsm!" and after-
ward explained his absence By saying, IS
,oas efraid. riS u far back = hay bin able
tcv trace the 1st indicashnns Of weakness
h this granl and nobel art - y ~
ishould'ht % supsised Il this ast nsvse