Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1870-01-04
MASSEY.
Mr.. Nasty Settled at Last-The City Of New
York 90 BIO his Final Resting Place
How no IL satisfied and Likes IL.


come DaCk 10 the Ark DecOZ the wa
tiers kivered the land; when the
dove found dry spot it come back
no more; | am dove. | was cent
out from the Corners. but the preva-
lence NV water druv me back. time
and agen. Now, thank Heaven, |
how found spot wher Their is no
water IA least I've never seen any
used mere Tor any purpose and here
say Ny foot has found a restin
place.
am the sole proprietor Nv the
Harp Nv Erin" sloon. The origi
nal proprietor died last elrckshun,
mach regretted by bis polit kle a. :
associates He he'd "nly voted II
times when in an argument t,chln
The merits Nv his candidate. ez COM
parea with bis opponent tor the
n"mi'a- Inn, we WIZ hit with "a
blirkbu', and died with his da,
work naif done. The man who
struck him wuz expelled from the
society to whicn hc b longed, kiln
an able bodied 1imocrat before the
closin nv the polls.
How got possession of the s'loon
| shell not state. Suffice it to say. it
became mine, and the stock like
wise, and that ! shell never hev oc-
casion to leave it. Here [ shell live,
and here | shell die. Nv course I've
decorated it to SCOT the tastes of my
patrons. took down the portrate
Of Jackson, and cut off the bottom
the words, "The Yoonyun, it must
aud shell be preserved ~ and substi-
tootid, "He serves his party best
who votes the most" witch | read TO
those who drop in ez the last words
Nv the hero of New Orleans. hev
an Irish flag turned round an Irish
harp over the bar, and portrates NV
the Fenian Brotherhood, properly
wreathed, all about the room. On
the end Nv the bar, in the spot
where in other neighborhoods the
water-pitcher stands, | hev a box
with hole in the top Nv it, inscrib-
ed, "Contribushens for the benefit of
our suffrin brethren in English Bas-
teels may be dropped in here
That box more than pays my rent
Then hev quite a cabinet NV sakrcd
relics. | hev a peace NV the rope
that hung John Brown; the club
which killed the first niger in the
route Nv Jooly 1863 built fired at
the Triboon offs at that time, with
other sooveneers dear to the Demo-
cratic heart, wich attract many
These hang onto the walls, and IN
derneath them, l hev the prices NV
drinks inscribed, with the stern,
cold words, "No Trust"
l inoggeratid my establishment
last Wednesday mite. Rememberin
the terrible endin NV all my other
inoggeraskens, ] declined at fust to
make any formal openin, but my
friends insisted that it was the GUS
tom Nv the ward, and that / must dc
it.
Nobody will buy yoor likker,'
sed one, "ef you don't make a regler
openin ="
Fl | make regler epenin," SAID
| II won't bev a drop to sell en-
STAY hev it I'll go before Ju,-
la NV he Peece and take solemn
'ath not 10 drink anything myself
that mite"
'Twont do" sed my friend
On hs don't count in this ward
Various plans were rel ctii Ga,
gentlemen proposed that sh 'ed he
htd down 40 tina, | coodent get al
IN. hkk,r and that be sho0d do the
nonors Hi> nose WIZ agin him, and
q ciined his pr"p"sishtn Finally
| MI upon the plan. | calkiIaie ed
that twenty gath : w1Ud spSer, ana
put that am ant in s barrel rh,
balance NV the stock | locked in d
drawer.
"There," sed | triumphantly, ''afore
that twenty gallons is egsausted !
shall be too far gone to know where
the key to the room holdis the bal.
ance Nv the stock is. Saved
Saved |"
1t RESULTED ez | ANTICIPATED. Al
first we he'd speeches and toasts
Mr. O'Rafferty replied to the toast
"Our adopted country" He sed the
term, "Our adopted country" wuz a
happy one, so far as Moo York wu2
concerned the sons NV Erin he'd
adopted it, He had been charged
with lack nv love for his country.
He repealed the charge with scorn
Why shouldn't he love this country
In that other country wuz votes
worth dollar apeece Where else
Good SIGH a man ez he hev so high a
posishen ez Alderman, and only two
years on the ground?
Mr. O'Toole jined in the sentiment.
Where else under the canopy Good a
man like hisself who coodent read be
a skool director. He he'd often bin
thankful that he turned his face
towerd Ameriky the mint his time
wuz out in the prison at Liverpool.
Their wuz less risk in holdin offs in
in Moo York, than insburglary in
England, and the results was shoor-
err.
Their wus'nt much more speech
maxim. The drinkin went on fast
and furious tho, and ez anticipated
before, the twenty gallons wuz egs-
austed. wuz very drunk and in
capable Nv any effort, mental or
physikle, and the others were in
very much the same predcament.
Four or five Nv EN- did try to rouse
me to git more, but it wuz Nv no
use; they mite az well hev whisper
ed Gray's elegy in the ear Nv o dead
mule. The most Nv EN- slept, ez |
did, on the floor till the mornin.
/ shell be happy here. hev the
steddy patronage Nv two Aldermen.
three Skool Directors and four con-
tractors. and when the Mayor gifts
he appintin Nv the poleece there
will be twelve policemen whose
trade | kin count on. There in my
back room is where the preliminary