The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1870-05-23
NAlBAD FIX.

,Baggs is the friend of OR bosom.
Together We were little ones, and ate
bread and sugar beneath the same sour
spple tree,
We sucked eggs out Of the same nest,
made mud-pies out Of tho same mudhole,
slid down tho same cellar.doors, got sick
oartho same kind Of green apples, got
worse on tho same kind ofmcdciue went
10 the same school, got thrashed by the
itame teacher, always on the same day
(Which was every day got our first long
tailed coats at the same time, courted the
same girl, popped the question at the same
time, and got the same auswer-which,
if we remember rightly, was No" or
something very much like it.
Bags recovered. courted another girl,
and got married.; and we didn't. Old
squigs, the kind parient-in-law Of our
friend, set him upin business; and, as he
had another dart who was as sweet as q
peach. and eomely to look upon, we
thought we'd dolikc Bags, and get in
tho sauiss fami y, and get Get up like
wise.
We went hi,hcr one mild December
eve, AMI made an effort; bu. the aged
squigs set his big dog on US. That was
! a SGT We didn't appreciate worth cent ;
SO we went hence more rapidly then We
had gone hi.her.
In course Of time, Bagg's wife got tired
of.his vale Of tears, and left Baggs a dis.
consulate widoxeri; who, TO drown bis
grief, left Shadyille, The scenes of bis
childhood, went down to New York, and
investedin q hundred and sixty pounds Of
widow, with several thousand in hsr swn
right. ~
When the honeymoon was over, the
; friend Of onr bosom wrote US as follows
500 aDEAa OLD SSooKEsr Come aud
see me !! Tn the happiest fish out-feel
=. Ikea kitten in q whole pan Of new milk,
or . colt 10 aten-acre cloyer-feld with low
fences. I've got the sweetest wife you
ever read about, and want you to see her
Come down and stay month with me,
and Ill show you the elephant! I'll look
for you next week. The friend Of your
bosom. = 64 go BAoos."
IS We said we'd 60. We wanted to see
Bags; We wanted to sec his wife; We
wanted to see tile elephant. We'd read
about the elephant, and we had much ola
desire to form his acquaintance. So We
wrapped up clean shirt in New York
Mercury, put q spare paper collar in our
right-band eoat-tail pocket, invested in o
half.pint Of fresh.roasted Jersey peanuts.
and got aboard The morning train, fully
determined to SEQ the friend Of our bosom,
his other half. and likewise the elephant,
before we again returned to Shadville.
Baggs met US at the depot, embraced
Us, asked us for chew Of tobacco, and
then conducted Us to bis home. Mrs.
Baggs smiled on US sweetly, told us We
we're welcome to their humble home, in
formed US that tea was waiting, and led
the way to the dining room, looking as
dignifed as q hen with thirteen chickens.
After tea, Baggs said we'd 60 out and
sec the elephant. Ais other half kissed
him, told him to return soonr called him
her dearest Bnggsy, wiped tear from
nose, and said goodbye. We, with the
friend Of our bosom as guide, proceeded
to see the 81.
Commenced on whiskey straights
Then changed to gin cocktails. After
which We tasted tom.and ,jerries, half.and.
ahalfs, stone. walls, brandy smashes, claret
punches, sherry .hoenakers, and Jersey
lightning; and-wound up a. h.lf.past one,
.. ~ pretty booay. Tooklhe arm ofthe
friend Of our bosom, and went holneward.
Lamp.posts were all running races, and
one came along and took US right on tho
proboseis. Asked friend Of our bosom if
that was the elephant, and friend of our
bosom said !: ave hadn't begun-hic-to
sss--hic-elephan. YETI
! I'VE found the. douicil Of Baggs in
course Of time and, after trial Of fifteen
minutes, friend Of our bosom got the key
in Tho key hole, and unlocked the door.
All was dnrkncss within. A
Cant End any matches hc-ner
lamp NOR nothing = hic--else," ex-
claimed 'Bagg', after falling iorcr three
, chair,' ia succession. Guess III sHooze
down here on-7hic--5sofy; Mrs. Bags
doa't like smell of-bic-ginl Go right
g. sln;s. a. f.;.,, II :, !. ka..,,,a ..,t =. &.