The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1870-10-18
nfsxRiEs s. aasas3rr Nty

Ever since nay earliest reeol4oo,ioa
have been a victim % circumstance,
Relriy, which otbers desire aud rs
every mean, q obtain. "a me has heen
source 81 gntold misery Frem my
infancy. when ugly women with aornd
broatbs Would s,op ms nurse 10 The
street aud tnsis, upon kissing me
through my school days, when The giris
would pct me aud offer me share Of
their nuts aud candies, and then laugh
at me IN consequence, aud call me "gd
boy, squutmk upou my face tuf bean
ty spots, aud present me With earl pa
pers aud flowers 'or MY hair until The
present, when ! am denied utrodUe
tlous 20 young ladies aud put of ON old
women i have suffered for my looks
In MY boarding house | am Stunned as
ii bad the plague, When ! enter tie
parlor or dining room, / see the ladies
looking at each other with a knowing
air, as much as to say, Look a, him
And the answer is telogtaphed back,
"Ain't he hands0m but he knows il, Z"
as if | could belp knowing il with every
one telling me SO fifty times a day; aud
husbands pay unusual attention to their
wives when | am around as II / were
an ogre
/ am naturally modest man, made
So by my extreme sensitIseuess TO per-
s1nal criticism, aud to be Obliged to
stand apparently unconscious, when /
am being looked at and commented up
on, is narrowing TO my feelings. | feel
sometimes as If | should drop down on
the floor, bat then folks would never
stop laughing if | did, at what they
would be pleased to term my extreme
lady-hkeness ! have actually prayed
that / might get the smallpox, and
once walked through the smallpox
hospital for that purpose, but escaped
unharmed
| suppose / must have been yaccinat-
ed. In fact, | know ] have been, for
how often have | looked at the scar on
my arm, ana wished it had been on my
check or at the end OF my nose, or, in
fact, on any place where /. might be
considered blemish.
Wien | was child | came near Kill
ling myself one night by going to bed
with two large bottle colks thrust into
my nostrils, to make them large like
other boys; and have made my mouth
sore by stretching it with my fingers,
or forcing melon-rinds into it, to en-
L. . . t4g.lAEg. haftg
the mouth might be sore for couple Of
days, but its shape remained unaltered.
Now that | ain man, | am as un-
fortunate as ever My HAIR will curl,
even when shaved within half an inch
OF the scalp; my moustache will stay
ietty black, although ! sometimes wax
the ends of it with soap, and walk on
the SUNNY side of Broadway; my teeth
are perfect, aud never need dentist.
and my hands are shameful for man
so my old maid aunts and bachelor
uncles say.
My affections have been trified with
several times, because" as they said
when they had drawn me to the pro-
posing point, i was too handsome to be
good for anything as husband did
very well for beau. Goodness is it
only ugly men that can marry | want
to marry and settle down; for ] am so
sighted IN society that look with envy
upon homely or misshappen men.
But who will have me? put it to
you my friend if it ism hard case. l
want an intelligent and agreeable wife,
and one that comes Of respectable
family. ! don't think | am asking too
much, but it seems fate has determined
such one | can never have ! have
either to remain single, or take one
that is ignorant and vulgar. That, Of
course, would be as much remarked up
on as my appearance, so it cannot be
thought Of
want to escape observation and
criticism. | think strongly Of emigrat-
ing to the Rocky Mountains, donning a
rough garb, and digging for gold, in
the hope OF getting rourd-shouldered /;
or hiring myself out as wood chopper,
in the anticipation Of chip flying up
and taking of part OF my obnoxious
nose
If there were no women around, /
might escape notice out there. But il
one happened TO come along, | should
be obliged to leave, for her eyes would
ferret out my unfortunate peculiarlties,
and all my wounds would be opened
afresb Sometimes ! think there is no
spot on the globe where l would be
welcomed; and feel inclined to commit
some desperate deed, that may be ar
rested and confined out Of sight Of men
and woman-kind, until | am aged
and bent enough to be presentabe.
Punchine!o.