The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-08-09
Editorial Experience-How Edited
an Agricultural Paper Once.
BY MARK TWAIN.

glvings Neither would landsman tax
command Of ship without misgiving
But | was in circumstances that mad
the salary an object. The regular editc
OF the paper was going off for holiday
and | accepted the terms he offered an
took his place.
The sensation Of being at work agai
was luxurious, and | wrought all tn
week with unhagging pleasure. w
went to press, and | waited day wit
some solicitude to see whether my effor
was going to attract any notice. As
left the office, towards sundown, grou
of men and boys at the foot of the stair
dispersed with one impulse and give me tn
passage-way, and | heard one of then
say, "Thats him !" | was natural,
pleased by this incident The next morn
ing l found similar groupe at the foo
of the stairs, and scattering couples anc
individuals standing here and there in tn,
street, and over the way, watching m,
! with interest. The group separated anC
fell back and | approached, and | hearc
man say, "Look at his eyev' pre-
tended not to observe the notice [ was at
tracing, but secretly was pleased with
it, and was proposing to write an account
Of it to my aunt. went up the short
flight Of stairs, and heard CHEEKY voices
and ringing laugh as | drew near the
door, which | opened, and caught a
glimpse of two young, rural-looking men
whose faces blanched and heightened
when they say me. and then they both
plunged through the window with Il great
crash. was surprised.
In about half an hour an old gentle
man, with flowing beard and fine but
rather austcre face, entered and sat down
at my invitation. He seemed to have
something on his mind. He took off his hat
and set it on the floor, and got out of it a
red silk handkerchief and copy of our
paper. He put the paper on his lap,and,
while he polished his spectacles with his
handkerchief, he said :
I" Are you the new editor ?'
said | was.
"Have you ever edited an agricultural
paper before ?"
NO." | said. "This is my first at
tempt"
VERY likely. Have you had any ex-
pcrience in agriculture, practically ?"
"No, | believe have not"
"Some instinct told me So" said the
old gentleman, putting on his spectacles
and looking over them at me with asperi-
ty, while he folded his paper into con-
venient shape. Il wish to read 10 you
what must have made me have that in
stinct 1t was this editorial, Listen,
and see if it was you that wrote it
"Turnips should nsver be puled-it
Injuries them. 1t is mach better to send
a boy up and let him shake the tree"
Now, what do you think of that
for really suppose you wrote it"
" Think of It? Why, think it is good.
.h;,'- :. ;s sansa 7 hove 80 iorh.
that every year, millions and millions of
bushels of turnips are spoiled in this town
ship alone by being pulled in a halGripe
condition, when, if they had sent a boy up
to shake the tree"
Shake your grandmother rurnips
don't grow on trees ~
oh, they don't, don't they? Well.
who said they did? The language was
intended to be fgurativc, wholly fgura-
tive. Anybody, that knows anything, will
know that | meant that the boy should
shake the vine"
Then this old person got up and tore
his paper all into small shreds,an stamp
ed on them, and broke several things with
his cane, and said l did not know as
much as COW and, in short, acted in
such way that l fancied that he was
displeased about something. But, not
knowing what the trouble was, | could
not be any help to him.
Pretty soon after this long cadaver-
Gus creature, with lanky locks hanging
down to his shoulders, and weeks stub.
BILE bristling from the hills and valleys of
his face, darted within the door, and halt.
ed, motionless, with finger on lip, and
body bent in listening attitude. No
sound was heard. Still he listened No
sound. Then he turned the key in the
door, and came elaborately tip.toeing
toward me, till he was within long reach
ing distance of me, when he stopped, and
after scanning my face with intense in
terest for while, drew folded copy of
our paper from his bosom, and said
"There-you wrote that. Read it for
me, quick Relieve me- suffer"
| read as follows; and as the sentences
fell from my lips, | could see the relief
come; could see the drawn muscles re-
lax, and the anxiety go out of his face,
and rest and peace steal over the features
like the merciful moonlight over DESC
late landscape:
"The guano is fine bird, but great
care is necessary in rearing it. 1t should
not be imported earlier than September.
In the winter it should be kept in warm
place, where it can hatch out its young.
1t is evident that we are to have a
backward season for grain. Therefore,
it will be we'll for the farmer to begin
setting out his eornstalks, and planting
his buchwheat cakes in July instead of
August.
Concerning the pumpkin. This berry
is favorite with the natives of the inter-
ior of New England, who prefer it to the
gooseberry for the making of fruit cake,
and who likewise give it the preference
over the raspberry fer feeding COWS, as
being more filling and fully as satisfying.
Tne pumpkin is the only esculent of the
orange family that will thrive in the
North, except the gourd and one or two
varieties of the squash But the custom
Of planting it in the front yard is fast 60
ing out of vogue, for it is nov generally
conceded that the pumpkin, as II shade
tree, is failure.
Now, as the warm weather APP
proaches, and the ganders begin to
spaWn-