Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-05-06
stay, and was hungry and prosecuted, and

bring him home, and pet him and have
that dogs Imperishable gratitude. And
at last he found one, and was happy; and
he brought him home and fed him, but
when he was going to pet him, the dog
few at him and tore all the clothes off
him except those that were in front, and
made a spectacle of him that was aston
ishing. He examined authorities, but he
could not understand the matter. 1t was
of the same breed of dogs that was in the
books, but it acted very differently.
Whatever this boy did. he got into trout
BILE. The very things the boys in the
books got rewarded for turned out to be
about the most improbable things he
could invest in. xr v4uHyA
Once when he was on his way to Sunday
School he saw some bad boys starting
off pleasuring in sail-boat. He was
filled with CONSERVATION, because he knew
from his reading that boys who went
sailing ON Sunday invariably got drowned.
So he ran out on raft to warn them, but
a log turned with him and slid him into
the river. A man got him out pretty
soon, and the doctor pumped the water
-Out of him and gave him fresh start
with his bellows, but he caught cold and
lay sick abed nine weeks. But the most
unaccountable. thing about itwas that the
bad boys in the boat had good time all
day, and then reached home alive. and
well, in the most surprising manner.
Jacob B1ivens said there was nothing like
these things in the books. He was per-
fectly dumbfounded. 3Sp*g T.
When he got well he was little dis
couraged, but he resolved to keep on try
ing, anyhow. He knew that so far his
experiences wouldn't do to go in a. book,
but he hadn't yet reached the allotted
term of life for good little boys, and he
hoped to be able to make record yet, if
he could hold on until his time was fully
up If everything else failed, be had his
dying speech to fall back on. ~
He examined his authorities, and found
that it was now time to go to sea as cabin
boy. He called on ship captain and
made his application, and when the cap
tain asked for his recommendation he
proudly drew out tract and pointed to
the words: "To Jacob Blivens, from his
affectionate teacher" But the captain,
was coarse, vulgar man, and he said,
ooh, that be bowed; that wasn't any
proof that he knew how to wash dishes or
handle slush bucket, and he guessed he
didn't want him" This was altogether
the most extraordinary thing that had
ever happened to Jacob in all his life. A
compliment from teacher, on a tract,
had never failed to move the tenderest
emotions of ship captains and open the
way to all offices of honor and profit in
their gift--it never had in any book that
ever he had read. He could hardly be.
lieve his senses. .,sag.s.s
This boy always had hard time of it.
Nothing ever came out according to the
authorities with him. At last, one day,
when he was around hunting UP bad little
boys to admonish, he found lot of them
in the old iron foundry fixing up little
joke on fourteen or fifteen dogs, which
they had tied together in long procession,
and were going to ornament with empty
nitro-glycerine cans made fast to their
tails. Jacobs heart was touched. He sat
down ON one of those cans-for he never
minded grease when duty was before him
and he took hold of the foremost dog by
the collar, and turned his reproving eye
upon wicked Tom. Jones. But just at
that moment Alderman McWelter, full of
wrath, stepped in. All the bad boys ran
away but Jacob Bilvens rose in conscious
innocence, and began one of those stately
little Sunday school book speeches, which
always commence with "Oh, sirT in
dead opposition to the fact that
no boy, good or bad, ever starts
remark with ooh, SRI? But
the Alderman never waited to hear the
rest. He took Jacob Bivens by the ear,
and turned him around, and hit him
whack in the rear with the flat of his
hand and in an instant that good little
boy shot out through the roof and scared
away towards the sun, with the fragments
of those fifteen dogs stringing after him
like the tail of q kite. And there wasnta
sign of that Alderman or that old iron
foundry left on the face of the earth and
as for young Jacob Blivens, he never got
a chance to make his last dying speech
after all his trouble fixing it up, unless ne
made it to the birds; because, although
the bulk of him came down all right in
tree-top in an adjoining county, the rest Of
him was apportioned around among four
townships, and so they had to hold five
inquests on him to find out whether he
was dead or not, and how it occurred.
You never saw boy scattered so.
Thus perished the good little boy who
did the best he could, but didn't come out
according to the books. Every boy who
ever did as he did prospered except him.
His case is truly remarkable It will
probably never be accounted for.-THe
Galary. .t