Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1870-01-20
77'777777l777''7-7
Illinois Divorces.
wINTERiNG THE OLD woMAN-A ROMANCE IN |
CHICAGO REAL LIFE.

wINTEkING THE OLD woMAN-A ROMANCE IN
CHICAGO REAL LIFE.
An elderly, serious-lookiDg individual,
well protected from the incemency of the
weather by sundry layers Of overcoats and
comiorters recently entered the office of the
clerk of the Supreme Court in Chicago in u
methodical manner, and after spending
about ten minutes lin unwrapping himself
| to sufficient degree to be able to articulate
expended about the same period of time in
slowly looking around him. After careful
ly investigating the surroundings of the
highly ornamented office, the old gentle
mans eye rested upon the bland features of
one of the most gentlemanly and benevolent
of living deputy clerks.
Leaning towards him, he seriously enun-
cated the important monosyllable, Cap /"
The parsonage thus addressed inquired
for further particulars.
Cap, repeated the stranger, " are you
given to unhiiching folks here ? Do you di-
vorce little r.
The reply to this intcrrogatory was of
somewhat af1irmatory character, whereupOn
the questioner stated his grievance, after re-
lnctanty admitting that his wife had not de-
serted him-neither had she been guilty of
adultery, cruelty, drunkenness, or any of
the other little eccentricilies for which the
lawallows dissolution of the marital bonds.
The old woman, Cap" quoth he. ''dont
get along well with me. She jaws me fear
ful, and if any man can stand jawing, his
together, and haven't for the last thirty
years. | therefore want to be unhitched,
and l don't want her to know anything
about it until it's all over. l want il done
now, because it's getting cold weather, and
it will take good deal To winter her. Can
get divorced here without any body finding
it out for spell?"
"My fiiend,' responded the official,
suavely and kindly, 'see ye yonJer desk -
The stranger responded in the affirmative
III you come here in about one hour, you
will see three young men whose natural fe-
rocity is depicted on their countenance sit
ting there together. In a moment they will
hear that a suit for divorce has been COM
menccd. They will rush for the papers, Will
brutally assault each other for the first,
scan their contents, and then they will write
for four hours apiece. They are newspaper
men, and will write you up for publication.
They are probably now in the next room,
doing the same thing for somebody else.
They will write an article about you with
thirteen head lines. They will print all you
know about yourself and all that any one
else knows, and great deal that no one
knows. 1t may, OF course, do you good,
but of that you will have to judge yourself.
You can't get rid Of them, tor they are af-
fluent and incorruptiblc, and it won't be of
any use to kill them, for at their offices they
keep men great deal worse than they are.''
"Cap," slowly and sadly asked the suitor,
sis that all true?"
1T is true, all of it, and less than the
truth"
''Then, said the old man with melancLolv
air, as he proceeded to again envelop him
self in his multitudinous wrappings. 81
guess I'll winter the old woman after all.
I'll come back again next year, and then,
perhaps, them fellows will be dead"
Silently and sorrowfully the disappointed
one pulled his hat over his eyes and quietly
stole away