Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1870-07-28

re tQCC OF the NmOker--Splt-toSn. n.
Pleading al, the Bar Begging for drink
To prevent fish f,om smelling in the sun.
mer--Cut their noses off
Love has been defined as an insane de-
sire to msin,ais .cmeboiy else's daughter.
Mohans edans say the, Que hour Of JUS
,ce is worth 10 years OF prayer.
tfyou "cut" an acquai ia,aa:e, are veu IL
able for assault:
What bind cf robhers il not dangerous,
i safe robbery, Of course.
A Wisconsin gentleman sat down on
beehive the oihcr day. He got up directly.
Two neighboring signs in PHILADELPHIA
read "Ja:nes Scho.t, ami jonathan Fell"
Why was Ncah never hungry in the ark?
Because he always h4d u Ham wa,h him.
Why is the earth like blackboard. Be.
cause the chiidrea Of man multiply upon
,,ie face otit
L;fe, young man. is only
A slippery shee, of ice:
No nirl iherc--its : lonely:
One gi,. ihere--its nice.
An old soaksr replied to temperance
lecturer by the following poser: If water
ro,s the solss !. year bnets, what effect mas;
ii have Oh the coat Of your .omachr'
Pittsburgh has a real nice pious old lady
under arrest for stealing large illustrated
6o.e. She said hers was too fine print,
and she couldn't get any consolation out OF
it.
No wonder tha scyibes Of the Times, in .
gov,
nenonnce from their virtucuachairs
..ihls mixing religion with politics So"
For they never mix any with ,hcirs
--IChica.o rosi.l
When a girl oat West is kissed she looks
surprised. and says, dow could you! Te
which the swain replies. Il. will give me
pleasure to show ycu, aud proceeds 70 give
a duplicate.
'iou do nj 10 work enough 10 earn sour
salary" said the head II a department in
New York Gus, house to one Of his clerks.
Work! exclaimed the yonn. man, .. work.
ed to get here; surely you do Mt expcc, ne
10 work any lonser."
In Great Fails, New Hampshire, the Man
ufaciurers' and VILLAGE Library contains
Over Ave hundred volumes. Ever, girl who
is connec,ed with the fac cries can have the
bcnef, OF the library for fifty cents year.
Quite correct, my dear; the natives Of
South Africa 20 no, require clothes to keep
them warm, because they are Hottentots,
ont yoa see? Coolies are a different sort Of
,,to7ie siegc!hcr. So arc the people Of
Chilli
little girl who had been e.ndying. At
a safe distance, the warlike ways Of the
soidier>crnh. remarked to hor mother: Il
hope God did not hur, Hisself when lie was
making him.
Pennsylvania Dutchman, the other day,
refused to answer the Census Marsl,als
Questions. lie sand, Dish ,ings makes an
udder niger vars. Dose feli;rs coming
round in 1860 dish vaye made de vars
A Pennsylvania editor rejects an adver-
tiscnent sen, him by an Indiana lawyer en-
the condition that he should take hi. pay in
divorces, saying, however, that he does 20
because lie is bachelor, and the PROPOSE
,ion is "scanda'ous.y premature.
Sunday and Saturday, the two favoriie
days fr marriage in Enela I'd. arc Mank
! days for marriage in Scotland. Friday j.
the day on which the English do no, marry.
tu, in Scotland itis enc cf the fayorite days
for marriage.
4 man in Michigan swapped his horse
fer wife. An old bachelor acquaintance
said he d bet there was something wrong
with the horse, or is owner never would
have fooled il away in that manner.
An old butcher says II y girl wants to
knew when she locks aos, charming ip the
mems eyes is when she wears simpemns-
lin dress, with frill Of lace around The
neck ani At the wrists, ana no ornameat
bat youth and freshness.
An orthodox minister in the North Of Ger.
many delivered n vio.ent harangue. the nth.
i Ell day IN which he thundered against the
indecency and sin!u.ness Of farmers who
kept only one rooster to u great many hens,
thus promoting poly gamy, which he deciar>
Cd sinful tc the hghcs. degree, even in
chickens.
man WHO evidently supposes the word
,diosyncro y is neat but badly spelled
compound Of iaiocy. SIN. aud crazy, lately re-
"a' "SN ttiAt taS SutauS 'nc!T Tc
cent advance on Canada fer the liberation
OF Ireland just 10 show their idiosyncrasy.
man with four wives was brought be
fore Dutch justice for commitment, on a
charge Of fbgamy -Four wives, exclaimed
the astonishcd Hans, "four wives? dat vas u
mos. hinocious crime! Discharch him a,
discharge him when iha p:oof is positive?
Will. the court eAplain?' .,lts. eckspla ins.
on De iif mil foar wives. he go, tunishmsnt
enough. lif mi. voa. ani 90, sno much
tunislMeu, a,reedy.'