Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-05-18
Oemeral Sntelliaenfe.
HE STORY OF. THE GOOD LITTLE
BOY WHO DID NOT PROSPER.
MARK Twain, in the Galaxy.l


BOY WHO DID NOT PROSPER.
MARK Twain, in the Galaxy.l
1.-THE following has been written at the in
.ance of several literary friends, who thought
lat if the history of ''The Bad Little Boy
no Did Not Come to Griem IA moral sketch
published some five or SIX years ago., was
orthy of preservation several weeks in print,
fair and unprejudiced companion-piece to ii
0uld deserve q similar immortality.-E EDITOR
EMoRANDA.
Once there was good little boy by the
4me of Jacob Blivens. He always obeyed
parents, no matter how absurd and an
asonable their demands were and he al
lys learned his book, and never was he
e at Sabbath school. He would not play
hockey, even when his sober Judgment
Id him it was the most profitable thing he
uId do. None of the other boys could
Or make that boy out, he acted SO strange
Hewouldn't lie, no matter how conven-
1t it was. He just said it was wrong to
and that was sufficient for him. And
was so honest that he was simply rfdic-
,us. The curious ways that that Jacob
/ surpassed every thing. He wouldn't
y marbles on Sunday, he wouldn't rob
ds' nests, he wouldn't give hot pennies
organ-grinders' monkeys; he didn't seem
take any interest in any kind of rational
usement. So the o ler boys used to try
'eason it out and come to an understand
of him, but they couldn't arrive at any
istactory conclusions, as / said before,
could only figure out sort of vague
that he was staffiicted," and so they
K him under their protection, and never
wed any harm to come to him.
his good little boy read all the Sunday
ool books; they we're his greatest delight.
was the whole secret of it. He be-
ed in the good little boys they put in
Sunday-schoolb books; he had every con-
nee in them. He longed to come across
of them alive, once; but he never did.
y all died before his time, maybe.
enever he read about particularly
one, he turned over quickly to the
to see what became of him, because he
tied to travel thousands of miles and
on him; but it wasn't any use; that
d little boy always died in the last chap
and there was picture of the faneral,
all his reIa ms and the Sunday
ool children standing around the grave
pantaloons that were too short, and
1nets that were too large, and everybodY
ing into handkerchiefs that had as much
yard and half of stuff in them. He
always headed off in this way. He
YER could see one of those good little
Us, on account of his always dying in the
t chapter. r
Jacob had noble ambition to be put in
Sunday-schooI book. He wanted to be
1t in, with pictures representing him glo-
ouslY declining to lie for his mother, and
,e weeping for Joy about it; and pictures
presenting him standing on the doorstep
wing penny to poor beggar. woman
itn six children, and telling her to spend
freely, but not to be extravagant, because
xtravagance is q sin and pictures of him
lagnanimously refusing to tell on the bad
,oy who always lays wait for him arour
he corner as he came from school, and
veIted him over the head with lath, and
3hased him home, saying Hi hi r as he
proceeded. This was the ambition of young
Jacob BIivens. He wished to be put into
A Sunday school book. 1t made him feel
a little uncomfortable sometimes when he
that the good little boys always
died He loved to live, you know, = d
this was the most unpleasant feature abe 1T
being Sunday school book boy. He knew
it was not healthy to be good. He knew
go supernaturally good as the boys in the
books were; he knew that none of them
mad ever been able to stand it long and it
panied him to think that it they put him
in book he wouldn't ever see it, or even
II they did get the book out before he died,
it wouldn't be popular without any picture
of his funeral in the back part of it, 1t
couldn't be much OF a Sunday school book
that couldn't tell about the advice he gave
to the community when he was dying. So,
at last, of course he had to make up his
mind to do the best he could under the cir
,umstances- live right, and hang on as
Long as he could, and have his dying
speech all ready when his time came. -
But somehow, nothing ever went right
With Ibis good little boy; nothing ever
turned out with him the way it turned out
with the good little boys in the books.
They always had a good time, and the bad
Boys had the broken legs; but in this case
there was q screw loose somewhere, and it
all happened just the other way. When
ne found Jim Blake stealing apples, and
when under the tree to read to him about
the bad little boy who fell out of neigh
Dor's tree, and broke his arm, Jim fell out
Of the tree too, but he fell on bnl and
broke his arm, and Jim wasn't hurt at all.
Jacob couldn't understand that. There
wasn't anything in the books like it. q
Aud once, when some bad boys pushed a
blind man over in the mud, and Jacob ran
20 help him up and receive his blessing, the
blind man did not give him any blessing at
Ill, but whacked him over the head with
MS stick and said he would like to catch
aim showing him again and then pretending
% help him up This was not in accord
ance with any of the books. Jacob looked
,hem all over TO see. @aF
One thing that Jacob wanted to do was
20 find q lame dog that hadn't any place to
stay, and was hungry and prosecuted, and
bring him home and pet him and have that
logs imperishable gratitude. And at last
ne found one, and was happy; and he
,rought him home and fed him, but when
ne was going to pet him the dog few at
him and tore all the clothes off him except
hose that were in front, and made spec
.acle of him that was astonishing. lie ex
aminea the authorities, but he could not
understand the matter. 1t was of the same
breed of dogs that was in the books, but II
acted very differently. Whatever this boy
did, he got into trouble. The very things
tAS boys IN the DOCKS Sot lo"1io0o AoA
turned out to be about the most unproh.-
able thing he could invest in.
Once when he was on his way to Sunday
school he saw some bad boys starting OF
pleasuring in sail-boat. He was filled
with CONSERVATION, because he knew from
MS reading that boys who went sailing on
Sunday invariably got drowned. So he ran
out on a raft to warn them, but log turn
eo with nlm and slid him int the river.
man man got MN out pretty soon, and the doc.
tor pumped the water out of him, and gave
MIN q lresn start with lis bellows, but he
caught cold and lay sick abed nine weeks
But the most unaccountabIe thino abont 4
th.t the LaA 4 e