Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-12-17
MINORS OF THE DAY.


MINORS OF THE DAY.
LAWYERS mouths are like turnpike
gates-neyer open except for pay.
"A pound OF fesh'-a prize fight,
4 tail that never wags-a carts
tail.
Earth, hottest >pOl-thc oil re-
gions,
Wherefore is a darkey with no hair
on the top of his head, like u candid
ate fora club who has been rejected
By its members? Because he's 0
black bald individual.
An exchange says 4 womHn never
reaches her full loneliness until sac is
thirty. We know a woman Of eighty
who has never reached it yet.
lilo, William Rowe was AZ
rested in a Western town the other
day for beating his wife with II hoe
las if a man hadt Il rightto hoe his
own Rowe.
A Michigan ccnsus-takcr calne
across a man who had been married
five years, but had never inquired his
wifc's christian name, lie always
called her Say.
4 model surgical opcration-to
lake the check ont Of A Young man,
and the jaw out ola woman.
In pocket picking AS in almost
every thing else, a man never she
t eeeds unit he gets his hand in.
Our devil was prevented from .ec-
iug his sweetheart the other evening.
!, by a pressing engagement.
) The proyerb that stolen kisses are
rwept, is enforced by the fact that
Y they generally come from lassos.
There will be much rejoicing
= among husbands. All the Paris FASH
y ion papers have suspended public0-
. ton.
In Bate. couuty. Mo. on tuesday
= last John Hit was married 10 Mary
d Miss. In was a 'palpable hit.
e Young women often keep their
!, lovers by tears. Yes saws Grumwig,
y love like beef, is preserved by
a brine.
IS Some women paint their face, and
e. then weep because il doesn't make
le them beautiful. They raise a hue
p and cry
sr A gentleman who has unfortunate
nj IL broken his word. is anxious t
( procure some cement that will repaiI
Ell Il. The same composition will
nc which people mend their manner
~ may possibly answer.
10 make a maj u drumkard Civ
~ y him a wife who will scold him ever,
~ time he comes, homc.--EG.
er 10 make a woman scold, give he
u q husband who comes home drunk
ce Wonsua's Journal.
. If you are very precise man an,
!" wish to be cettain Of what you GO
he never marry 4 girl named Ann, TO
'er we have thel authority of Lindle
M hurry and many others, for the as
s%ertiou. that Ann Is an Indefinite al
nd ticle.
To- a Boston gentleman who cOul
not waltz, offered a Young lady OH
re- hundred dollars if She would let hil
~ hug her as much as, the man did VIII
~, na' had just waltzed with her. Ii was
h9 good offer, aud showed that none
was no object 10 him.
lu- In Greenyillc Alabama, Il 'plvfc,
an sor' had iaborrd with the youth {
or that people, and taught them 10 dol
~ on grammar according to Morris 81
Iau tenn: During which the scnten(
me MARY milks. the ceW, was giving OF
TO be parsed. Eacli word had bee
=, parsed save one, which foil TO Boil
So, q thirteen yGar old, near u
foot Of the class, who commoncC
thus: Cow Is anoun, feminine go
her der, singular rumbCr, third perso
vht and stands for Mary Stands 4
afs Maryr said the excited profcssC
i'm, IIow do you make that out? ID
ned cause answered thu noble pupil,
the COW did't stand for Mary, hC
the coull Mary, milk herr
% Sl1. g58 Zg
,Sas iAsv8 iHxT VIE KgEf AAaEAH.
nm Dissolve i teaspoonfui Of alum III
ead quart OF Warm water. When a.
on stir In -four 10 give ttie coiisisteu
srve OF ulick cream, being particular
snd- beat tip i'll The humps stir IN as nIu
pawderad rosin as viii lay oif6 ali
we're and throw N half a dozen cloves,
lpse give 4 pleasant 0Fdor. Have on |
liz, a lca sop q boiling wateri po
M ~ theliOuF niKlREs iato Il, stirring "
~ all the umc. III { few minutes
with win - the scopsistencyggVf nIa
sted Pour it into al carthen or china V
fold sell let II cool; hay a cover en- a
race. put II IN Il cool place. When need
rtnai lnp uan take ont "A nortinn aud :