Middletown transcript., 1870-10-15
grlrtt STORY.
Why Aunt Sally Never Married.

"Now, Aunt Sally, please tell US why
you never married. You know you said
once that when you were girl you were
engaged to q minister and promised you
would tell US about it sometime. Now
Aunt, please do"
"Wcll, if l ever did see such girls in
my born days. It's tease, tease, from
morning till night; you must know all
about everything that you haven't any
business to know anything about. Such
inquisitive pestiferous critters as you are.
When l was young, girls were different;
they minded their business, and didn't 60
sailing around with whole string of beaux,
getting their heads filled with all kinds of
nonsense. l never dared to ask my aunts,
married or single, about any of their af-
fairs. A pretty muss I'd have got in if l
had. When they offered to tell me any
thing of their own accord, kept my
mouth shut and listened. Everything is
different now -a-days; young folks have no
respect for their elders But as see that
l am not going to have any peace till do
tell you, why, just listen, and don't let
me hear word out of your mouths until
l get through"
"That's right, Aunt Sally; 60 right
ahead, and we'll keep perfectly quiet"
"Well, you see. when / was about sev-
entecn yerrs old, was living in Utica, in
the state of New York. Though say it
myself, was quite good-looking girl,
then, and had several beaux. The one
that took my fancy most was young min
lister, very promising young man, and
remarkably pious and steady. He thought
a good deal of me and l took fancy to
him, and things ran on till we were en-
gagged. One evening he came to mel
remember it as if it were yesterday. When
he came into the parlor where l was sit
ting alone, he came up to me and-but,
pshaw girls, don't like to tell the rest"
80, Aunt Sally. for mercy's sake don't
stop; tell us what he did p
'tWell, as l said, he came up to me,
and put his arms around me, when | got
excited like, and little frustrated. 1t
was long time ago, and don't know but
hugged him back little. Then 1 felt
but now, just clear out, every one Of
you, 1 shan't tell you any more"
Goodness, gracious, Aunt Sally, tell
US how you felt Didn't you feel good
And what did he do next?'
40, such torments as you are! was
like any other girl, and pretty soon I pre-
tended to be mad about it, and pushed
him away, though I wasn't mad bit.
You must know that the house where /
lived was on one of the back streets of the
town. There were glass doors in the par
lor, which opened right over the street,
and no balcony or anything Of the kind in
front of the house. As it was in the sum-
mer season, these doors were open and the
shutters drawn to. stepped back little
from him, and when he edged up close
pushed harder than intended to-. and
don't you think, girls, the poor fellow los
his balance and fell through one of the
doors into the street. Yes it's SO. Al
he fell gave scream, and caught hin
but declare won't tell anything more
I'm going to leave the room"
"No, no, Aunt Sally. How did yot
catch him? Did it hurt him muchP"
'eWell if l must, I must. AS he fel
head first and as he was going caugh
him by the trowsers. / held on for
minute and tried to pull him back, but hi
suspenders gave way, and the poor young
man fell clear of his pantaloons into
whole parcel of ladies and gentlemen pass
ing along the street."
80, aunty, aunty r
"There, that's right; squeal and gig
gle as much as you want to. Girls tha
cannot hear of little thing like tha
without tearing around the room, and to
he-ing in such way don't know enougl
to come home when ii rains, A nice tim
the man who gets one Of you will have