Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-02-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

niWbeiit ~ bney CcIAinly never ulu, 10
the grateful remembrance and honor of
his fellow citizens. --Harper's Weekly
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A DEAD BEAT--one pulled out of the
ground
ISTEMPERATE LANGUAGE" Let's i'm
bibe."
WHAT nation produces most marriages.
Fasci nation.
Why is matrimony like alanded estate
IL is a proper-tie.
LIFE Is vapor, Life Insurance Is not.
Insure in the Washington.
A YOUNG mans affections are not al
ways wrong, but they are generally miss
placed.
ONE judicious step backward is better
than any number of false steps forward.
THE following toast was given at re.
cent banquet -" The rights of woman I;
If she cannot be captain of ship, may
she always command smack"
No COMPANY has made larger divi.
dend than the Washington at tho same
period of It's history, and no company
stands to-day on firmer basis Of So
curity.
w HIL lAHNED-
Johns wife and John were tete-a.tete;
She witty was, industrious no
Says John, i've earned the bread we've ate -
And J" says she, ~ have ur,tod the tea"
Where are you going ?" said Scotch
gentleman to thief, whom he observed
crawling through hole In his garden
wall. " Back again." replied Sawney, as
he hastily retreated.
A HoRRID man expresses the opinion
that giving the ballot TO woman will not
amount to much, for none of them will
admit that they are old enough to vote
until they are too old TO take any interest
in politics. Oh, the wretch
AN impulsive young man in Hampshire,
Mass, at church revival meeting, the
other night, prayed that God would bless
the two young ladies between whom he
had been sitting, especially the one on
the right"
How TO WRITE RIaHT.--
Writc we know IL written right
| When we sec It written writo
tut when we see II written wright
we know 'tis not then written right;
| For write, to have II written right,
| Must not he written right nor wright
| Nor yet should II be written rite
But wrlte-fjr so tits written right.
| POLITE GENTLEMAN" Good morning,
sir. How do you find yourself, to-day ~
Deaf Gentleman" Very stormy and
disagreeable." Polite Gentleman (slightly
astonished but determined to recover lost
ground" Indeed How is your good
wife, sirS" Deaf Gentleman" Very
clustering indeed"
A BRIDE who had been entrapped into
marrying worthless fellow, and had beer
taken TO his cabin, berated him for lying
to her on two different occasions about hi,
| hAnaa Int
dear, this house is one story, isn't il ?" ht
asked. Yes, and only one" "Well
then the two stories l told you make three
don't theyS'
a. Down. EAST paper says that persuasive
and humbugging agents are about in that
region selling lightning rods. One old
lady told an agent she had no fear o
lightning, but she had always boen afraiC
of thunder. "Just so," he replied, "w,
can meet your case exactly. The squar
/, rods are lightning rods, and the roun,
ones huRder-rods. OF course she is nov
protected"
, BouaHT HIMsELF.-Au amusing afiai
, happened lately between coal dealer an,
! a purchaser. The latter was very anxou
to see that the former did not cheat him
so he (the purchaser) inspected the weigh
ing of the coal himself and felt perfectly
satisfied that he got the full allowance
without any desire on the part of The
, coal-dcaler to shave" However, Will,
the coal was weighing, the driver of tn,
team could not help laughing, aware a
, the time that the purchaser was narticu
) lar about his full weight of coal. TIL,
, purchaser, noticing the laughing of tn,
! driver, asked him, when he received th,
coal, what 1t was all about so the drive
J told him. Why" said he, "when you
coal was weighing your were standing OF
the scales, and were weighed with il. 81
, II possibleS ? Why, I weigh nearly tw,
hundred pounds l" "Weil, sir" said th
driver, "you are sold" "Yes," was IN
reply, "and.I have bought myself, too."-
Springfield Republican,
, A GENTLEMAN in Alabama, In exertin
, himself one day felt sudden pain, an
/ fearing his internal machinery had bee
thrown out of gear, sent for q negro OF
his plantation, who made some preteu
sions to medical skill, to prescribe 70
him, The negro having investigated tn
+ case, prepared and administered dose /
/ his patient, with the utmost confidence q
speedy cure. No relief being experienc
ed, however, the gentleman sent for
physician, who, on arriving, inquired {
the negro what medicine he had given hi
, master. Bob promptly responded, "Rosi
and alum, sir" "What did you give ther
tolf continued the doctor, "Why," r,
piled Bob, the alum to draw the part
togedder, and de rosin to solder 'em.
. The patient eventually recovered.
TAKEN AT HRR WORD. The late Re,
Dr. Wightman was simple-minded SEQ
tish divine of the old school. When
young man he paid his addresses to
, young lady in the parish, and his suit wa
accepted on the condition that il met tn
approval of the lady's mother. Accord
ingly the doctor waited upon the matron
y and, stating his case, the good woman, dc
, lighted at the proposal, passed the usus
Scottish compliment, Deed, Doctor, yo
are far owre guild for our Janet. I'm sur
she's no guild emo for ye." "Weel, weeI,
was the rejoinder, "ye ken best so we
say nae mair about H." No more wa
said, and the social intercourse of the pa
: ties continued ON the same footing as b,
fore, About forty years after DIR. Wigh
man died a bachelor and the lady an ol
maid.
The London Athsaaus tells the follow
!. ing story; "Mr. Brown let us call hin
the proprietor of shall we say, the KitcAe
SfuaRer, was dissatisfied with his novels
Mr.. Jones, and told him 80. Jones wa
then halfway through romance whic
appeared Ia weekly dribblets, but Brow
gave HIM notice to quit at onca, and adde
that he had engaged Mr.. Robinson 10 :
on with and complete the story. JonS
n accepted the warning, but remarked tha
as he had sufficient manuscript copy
supply the chapters for the next nunibe
they had better be set up, after which Nj
Robinson might take up the thread of Il
1 story and get 20 tho end of L. Brow
!. consented, and went down to his subj
4 ban retreat whittier was forwarded
J. him the next number OF the Sunner, wit
: Jones' chapters, nom which Robinson w.
n to continue the narrative. II Brown po
4 sessed true critical faculty, no must la,
:. admired the inventive power of his ow
J, hired writer, and have doubted wheth,
{ Robinson would be equal TO the preseI
9 emergency. In short, Jones, having co
d lectod every living parsonage and anim,
4 he had named In the novel, put them a
; on board of ship bound Tor Ameriol
Y and sent the whole of them-ship, freigl
] and passengers down To the very bottol