Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-12-15
WHOLE lie NO. 252.:
1MfSCELLANEOUsITE ITEMS.
R1s1Ee, MAN-The balloonist.


a YOUNG ladyaof Boston counted among
her wedding presents, recently, eleven pie
knives. ~" 2''tnHinh i7f s-n
MY first is equality, my, second is in
feriority, and my whole is superiority;
Peerless. ~
: NEARLY every considerable city in.
Europe has a charitable "Home for Con-
Ia THANKsarvINe turkey in Syracuse
got away and made an ugly hole through
$3.50 pane of, glass.
SOME wit has discovered that the Sem-oi
iberg of the dying year, are September,
November and December g;f',. v-.,i.
DEATH is the great persuader, and
works more successfully than all the other
agents Of the Washington Life.h nFfi !;
g AR Altoona, Pennsylvania the police
furnish the liquor, dealers with lists of per
sons to whom it is, unsafe to sell intoxcat-
ing drinks. s'A Eh'r4 SCI sro
,"MA," said Fred, az should rather, be a :
wild turkey, and live my life out on the !.
prairies, than be a tame turkey and be Killed
Al NEW HAVEN couple, recently. cele-
bratng their golden wedding, exhibited
piece of cake reserved from their marriage
ceremony fifty years ago. - j. ;1iqa
THE Supreme Court of Massachusetts
has decided that acontTact made and carried
into effect on Sunday cannot be repudiated
by either party.
= AK ANsAs CRY artist committed suicide
the other day because he could not pay his
tailor. i, The tailor wants to know how that
helped matters. Dc
f. TIE anatomist who has discovered a :
new muscle in the human body has taken
out patent, and no one can use the muscle
without paying royalty.
THE Mutual Life Insurance Company
sof Chicago is favorite with the insuriDg
| HA Al
which show a good increase during the
raat wear et7' -'fg fqI t1ul- bna .~rlf
: A RAPTuRED writer inquiries: What
| is there under heaven more humaniZing, or
If we may use the term, more angelizing,
| than fine black eye in lovely womanE"
Two black eyes, is the ready answer n,
A PERSIAN philosopher being asked by
what method he had acquired so much
knowledge. answered, "By not being pre-
vented by shame from asking questions
when was ignorant" sr3..-i.. ID.
THOMPSON is not going to do anything
more in conundrums. he recently asked
his wife the difference between his head
and a hogshead, and she said there was
none. He says that is not the right answer.
Two men have been sentenced to four
months imprisonment and hard labor Tor
obtaining money from weak-minded per-
sons in London toward paying of the ma
tinnal debt of England.
"JoHN,n said a father to his son one day
when he caught him shaving the "downD
off his upper lip, don't throw your shaw
| ing-water out where there are any bare
footed boys, for they might get their feet
lypricked" saf sc ta aaI 4t-r
"WHAr is the difference between sixty
minutes and my youngest sistery = asked a
precocious boy of his grave uncle. Il don't
| know: what Is it ?" was the uncle's reply.
4Why, ones an hour, and the others our
Ann, was the stunning explanation
) NuRsE-''I cannot allew butter and jam,
too, on your bread, Master Alfred. IL Is
very extravagant.p Master Alfred 1T can't
be extravagant, Mary, if the same piece OF
bread does for both 80 p
A GENTLEMAN having pony that start
ed and broke his wife's neck, a, neighbor
told him that he wished to purchase It Tor
his wife to ride upon. No., says the 9TH
! er, sI viii not sell the little fellow, be7f
scause / intend to marry again oe =, "a
| O SOME idea of the enormous facilities af-
forded for locomotion by the railways en-
fering London is given by. a statement
| which shows an average ofabout ffty-four
| trains per hour, or nearly one per minute,
4 during the whole twenty -four hours OF the
4 day. -' -
| A NEW ticket printing machine, which
has Just been patented In England and
Prussia, prints railway tickets on both
sides, perforates them, and numbers them
consecutively by one process, and does all
this at the rate of 200 and 300 a minute.
| THE American Tract Society, of Bos-
ton, Mass, have made a grant of 1000
copies of their, magazine, the SABBATH at
Home, to be distributed among the United
States troops at the forts and stations Of
| the army in the far West for winter read
! ing. &C.,. s,..,.,...,..
Maine editor for defamation of character,
and the defense is understood to be that,
| in the first place, the plaintiff had no
character to speak of, and that, even If he
had, . nothing the defendant could say
would injpre anybody 80 ssss,. .ses
AFoUR hundred dollar doll is novelty
| in the New York market, whereupon the
| ErDress of that city, asks: = = Can we
wonder that genuine, hesh-and-blood
/ bellies outfit for an evening may be made
to reach the value OF smalfortune,-when
human ingenuity and eXtrayagance have
united to dress a doll to the actual value
of &4O0 ?" s--f-, .-.,l.-i
l,7 DRoUTH AND, PoTAToEs.E4edTfh ana
Home. points to lesson from the drouth
4 In the fact that potatoes Which Were
/ planted on or near the top OF the Bnounu
/ IN sections where the drouth has been e1-
.cessive, were hardly worth qlgglng, VIII. Willy
those in adjoining fields which were putat
/ .fhe bottom of a deep furrow and never
,hilled at all, yielded well. 10. 4c.i.ft
A ROGUE lately gave waiter at we'll
known cafe in Brussels ten-franc piece.
The waiter very correctly propounced u
bad. "L Let me see it again, said the fei-
low, then examining it carefully, he ex-
claimed in loud voice, as he put It back
/ in the walters hand, Observe the date,
| 1878 do you really suppose that If It was
bad they wouldn't have found It out by
this ,timel p and promptly departed, leaving
the astonished 0droon piece in hand. ~
THE Chinese division of human life Is IN
| teresting The age of 10 is called the
opening degree !; 20, youth expired 30,
strength and marriage; 40, officially apt;
so, errorl knowing; so, cycle closing; 20,
rare bird of age 80, rusty visage 90, de.
! layed; 100 ages extremity. Flourens
division is more scientific; 1-1O years, IN
fancy; 1920, adolescence; 2O-3o nrst
youth 3O-40, second youth 94O.So, hrst
manhood 55-70, second manhood IO-eo,
first old age; $500 second and last oia