Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-03-10

seemed to have been treated for almost
every known disease, and hence l might
adventure to inquire If he had ever been
bitten by . mad dog. mo. sir" he
promptly replied, with an ar of severity,
" but saw . man once who was bitten
by q massasauger. Perhaps you've never
seen one of them prairie mathematics,
stranger? OH you have. Well you
Yankees do learn some new things out
here. As / was saying, We were binding
after HcC reaper down on section
10. The little bundles, you know, liz out
day or two before We pick them mp and
make the shecka Over night, the snakes
carl ND underneath - keep warm. II wa1
about noon, and one Of my men had just
reached round bundle to lii it and bind
it, when he took big massasauger right
BY the tail. The reptile wriggled round his
nat head, and struck the poor chap In the
side, and he reared out with pain.
started of . boy for doctor, and staid to
watch the fellow. He began to swell up
right away, and In ten minutes no was
bigger than pork barrel. But he kept
right on, rounding out and rounding out,
till finally turned my back on such .
sight. All at once heard an explosion,
and he was gone. He'd blown open, and
bust all abroad, SIR !"
"What did you do, Mr.. Spencer"
"Ne? / collected his fragments and
gave him . decent burial"
Fearing every moment that l myself
should explode with my suppressed laugh
ter, / thought to change the subject by ask
| ing about the doctors bills. To my re-
lief Spencer again withdrew his attention
| from me and launched out into another se
ries of great moral truths" After say
ing that he had paid $4,000 to various
physicians, he spoke of the property he
had sacrificed to meet these bills. In par
ticular he dwelt mournfully upon the sale
Of span of horses and yoke Of oxen.
Here he frightened up, as he said Gen
tlemen, I'll tell you two or three facts about
those beasts, to give you some idea OF
their value.
IL started one day with my span OF
grays and load of corn, to drive to Jack
son, nine miles, to market. Brought back
| 10 bags of meal and q barrel of flour.
Well, Just as got out of the town, and
| had about eight miles of prairie 'twixt.me
and Hannah, heard rafting noise be-
hind me, and when looked round, there
was a bouncing hail storm right upon me-
l yelled at the grays. and flung my chaw
of tobacco at Billy, for he was the LATEST
and he swung along at what you Yankees
call a good Hiram Woodruff pace. Inever
quit yelling, and they never stopped run.
ming, till we struck Felderkin's Corner,
right where you blazed that big burr oak
this morning. Then l found the storm
was over, and when looked to see If the
load was safe, there was two bushels and
q half of hail stones in the hind end Of my
wagon, but not one OF 'em on my sacks OF
on me Gentlemen, had raced on the
edge of that hail-storm all the way home
Now, it's my opinion, that you couldn't
do that trick to-day with any two horses
in Illinois-not if you soak their tails in
turpentine the night before, and touch q
match to 'em, just as you say-Git out Of
this !"
Taking q furtive survey Of his audi
ence, and hooking his heel firmly on to
Ger braced himself for final tale.
"When first came here in 1649, those
oxen were steers Stock was rather scarce
then and I worked the critters in early
Well, one day, old Tennessee Smith, down
by the Lillycache, had cut red elm and
it got lodged in the sloo, and none of them
dared venture out to cut 1t clear. Sothey
hitched on all the oxen they had and tried
to drag it upon the bluff But with six
yoke they couldn't make it let 90. Then
somebody said send for Spencers steers.
when Smiths boy came, l told him, you
can have the steers, Charley, but no one
ever drives 'em but me. So l yolked up
and went down. When got there /
said, gentlemen, take away your oxen, and
they did. Then told 'em to cut welt
all around the log, SO that my chain would
lie in smooth with the outside of the bark
Then cut slit from this welt to the end
of the butt, SO that the taut of my chain
wouldn't catch in the hazel brush. Then
put the chain round and hooked on, and
took up my whip and just give the critters
acheerful start with the lash. They sprung
| to il and jerked the log about two feet, and
there it stuck fast. Then yelled and put
on the string a. those two little fellows
leaned into their work, and just shivered
a minute and then they went like q shot
for two or three rods, with long red stick
behind 'em, and every body shouted and
then shut up their fly traps and said not a
word. For, gentleman, would you believe
1t, those two little bucks had drawn the
heart right out of that log!"
"Yes, sir" repeated Spencer, as he
wiped his forhead with bandanna. Eyes,
sir, and If that Yankee don't believe it, !
can show him the very same log today d
Jackson. The road commissioners took il
for . town pump. 1t was all bored out
for them"
How long Mr.. David Spencer would
have continued to deal out these "great
moral truths" / know not. But Fielder
kin, who had evidently heard these tales
before, gave signs of uneasiness, and mint
ed broadly that the "wimmen folks "
wanted as out of the way.
At this, the-story teller rose with an in
jured air, and saying that he would call
in the morning to pay his share of my
surveyors bill, abruptly left the house.
have never seen him since, nor heard OF
his whereabouts. He owes me SIS with
interest since December, 1S59.-Bost0n I'D.
certisey.
kOgues Cheated.
| A. l.