The Placer herald., 1870-05-07
TERENCE xc0RANT.
Pro v1Aenee Gone Back ON Crant..Dutler
and Other Lice.
(Formerly Fhite House),
WASHINGTON, April Seventeen.

WASHINGTON, April Seventeen.
Me cousin is feeling a. II he had been
gone bsck on BY hitherto kind Providence.
Previous to this, whin any man bad become
obnoxious 10 us in ons way, Providence has
kindly sbtepped in wid fever, or insanity, OF
a rsznr. and put an ind to our anxiety, and
msnt In, the deceased. and that was 40 ind
10 il. But this time Prosidsncs has takss
Us one who was no. 10 me cousins way 10
the Ias,, and be had been bsnshsd to the
Pacific coast, where there vas divil the
danger Of bis being an opponent Of me cous.
10 Uisses 10 ony thing, unless it was as a
candidate for mkt President. Poor Tbomas!
Me cousin had nothing against him. unless
it WAS that be was bsther ginersI than ms
cousin and Why he should b taken of 10
the prime Of life, when there are old, super.
anOatsd nimbefs of the Cabinet that We
cant get rid Of. to make place for Bsist
Buthlsr, 10 the batting Of Us. Buthler was
n TO day. and towId me Cousin U,isses that,
II he didn't make a place in the Cabinet for
bim in tin days. he would foreclose on him,
and Colfax should be President in iss than
month. Ne couin towId Mshter Butler
hat he had narsy consunated an arrange
ment wild Fish TO lave tho cabinet, when
be would make it all right. Jst thin
picked up paper and read to the gin,lemen
how Misther Fish had rented Sinator Nor.
gan's house for &hree years, and, Of course,
calculated to shtay. Me cousin tainted
dead away at the intelligence. and wh'o hs
came to he said it was the saddest blow bo
iver recaved. losing Thomas instead Of Fish.
O~ld Butler is going 10 make trouble, and
Colfax is ambitious TO take me cousins
place. Mrs. Colfax has had her first recip-
ito" Of the season. 1t weighed eight pounds
and is n boy.
We are baviog a moigh,y LOVELY time
here. All the Numbers Of the lower house
lousy That's the frsht fruit Of the blaggard
Fifteenth amendment. Ye see we gave the
nagers permission TO use the House for ju.
bilee. and it was packed full. livery safe hav'
jog two or three occupants, and when Con-
gress met the mkt moring, the divi was to
pay. Buthlsr WAS making spachs about
fet'i,ting out some divilthry, and jist as be
said "G,u,lemsn. it is our duty TO 90 to the
bottom Of this" livery mimber begun 10
scratch. They soon seen that was the mat.
thsr. and begun 10 accuse ache other Of sit.
ting in their safes. Eldridgs. Of Wisconsin.
quietly insinuAted that perhaps the colored
gintIemen who occupied the sates the ave.
ming prsvious might have left the lice, but
he being a D,micrat, it WAS behaved be was
prejudlced against the colored paple. There
WAS more business done that forenoon 10
the Hous- than on any other day before this
session. | had to laugh at little wager
between Bu'hIsr and Siuator Wilson, Of
Massachusetts. who had called 10 10 have .
talk wid Ovid Spoons. Butler WAS scratch
ing away Ct ,bs lice, and finally, running
hts hands down in his brsechss, he said:
"Wilsoo, bug or no bug, for the 6shky I"
meaning for Wilson to bet fbs,hsr Butler
caught bug in his pants or not.
"A bug. w coorss," says Wilson, who
thought i, moi'y singular il ButhIsa cou|do :.
catch one ug wbin they we're so pliuty
there.
Misther Bu,hler closed bis hand wild an
old.,ims spoon clutch, and pulled it out OF
his pants. closed tight. A crowd Of us gath
cred round to see who won the bet. Bulb-
ler laid his fsht on the desk and deliberate.
Iy opened it. when he exclaimed:
"lbree bug. You have l.sht!" And
begorra so it vas. There we're three Iairge,
striped, regular army grayback'. Wilson
said:
Il wouldn't have behaved it il l hadn't
seen it !"
"BsIavs that 7" says Butler.
"1bat bugs could live on you'll" The
Speaker called the House to order, they
laughed 40 At this, and ~ wint out and had
a drink at Wilsoo's expense, He is the
leader Of the Temperance party 10 Congress.
Since | have bad charge OF the conscience
fund We haven't received much money.
tuck the office moro iu expectation Of large
hauIs from surh men ss Bailey. than ony
thing else, but the div thing have got
yet. barring lot Of revenue shtamp., wild
the sh,icking sb,uff all licked of. ! rscavsd
a le e,her from a gintlsman in New York,
who was once a deputy collector Of fshky
revenue. He said he bad 10 bis possession
fifty thousand dollars in bonds that he bad
acc cumuIsted. but bis conscience shmots him
40 he wanted 10 return them, and hs had
seen by the papers tbst l was appointed to
recavs hem. he wrote 10 fod out how would
have thin sint. II by express be wanted
me 10 sind him tin dollars to pay charges on
them. | sint him the money, and 10 two
days a package came. but he had forgotten
TO pay the charges on it. paid aud re-.
csved a package Of ovid newspapers And
this is fhat they call Radical honesty. A
man in Ohio saws that while in the Revenue
Department he shtole an ovid mans dsugh
ter. and that his conscience throuhled him
40 he ted me to take her. sxed Bridg
a, fiat 7 ahould do ahout IL and can show
you the mark Of the fire shovel on me hssd
this blessed minute.
II don't waot any fama:l conscience fund.
Disil the bit.
see BE- your paper that it is behaved that
Bairnum 10 interested 10 the tour Of Sinator
Rsvsls, making spaches st Philadalphia and
other countbry towns. This 10 not 80. Nc
cousin and messlf asd Bsobsr. Il nFeokiyn,
srs sole prcprietors Of sbs ssass skfoopth.