The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1870-06-30
Fun, FACT AND PANoY.
The tax tha5 printers pay--the ink

/
The tax that printers pay-the ink
'em TAX se ,as5r Il sfio8
Ee, Can bofsede hislcgoi best on an up
grade saL....,, * ffs..t.,sa
The talk Of the townTthe English
language. 80
/ AC.neinnatI mangrews 207 varieties
! Of strawherTies, .sf
Al, 7. Kettle IS the only Singer that
\ never has a cold. ~ w FHV'f Y
Flowets tliss are siwsys faifing otr-.
Bachelors buttons. -qiapSt
Green corn and rips figs have appear
ed ia New Orleans.
What should a clergyman preach
about?-Ab fifteen minutes.
| ffa man blows his own trumpet, can
his opinions be solsada Af } 8r
What roof covers the most noisy ten
anti The roof ofthe mouth.
Aman ever ready to scrape an ac-
qualntanee-The barber. ~ sliyf
Counter~i1itant--people who exam
inc the whole stock and buy nothing.
At the next election. In Nevada the
question Of female suffrageis to be sub
mitted to the people. IsHf54 iss
To Cure Deafness-Tell a man
you've come to pay him. money. 1t
beats acoustic oil allhollow.
The principal occupation Of the agirf
ofthe period' Is said to be to sit at the
window and watch for the coming
man" s1t ~ ~
| Red Cloud and his party attended the
jerome Park races AZ New York. but
they went to sleep and did not seem to
be interested. 80
! The Green Bay (Wis,) Gazette says:
@The Oneida Indians have organized
brass band, and purchased twenty-five
Instruments : lJEaosae saar
|. The present fashion. of wearing the
hair makes young ladies seem all head
Until you talk to them. 'V'4'''i
Two young women turned out with
spades and hoes and paid their road tax
in the town Of -Beloit, Wis., the other
day. 7eariqo Daess3 =
The man who put together sevenjoints
4 of stove pipe without swearing, turns
out to be a graduate OF the deaf and
dumb asylum. 3 IN yEm ls1s
Amanin Council Bluffs isi both liq-
nor saloon keeper and an, undertaker.-
One business helps the other. '"'''
DIR. Abernetly used to tell his pupils
that all human diseases sprang from
two causes-stggfng and lretttHg.
Secretary Boutwell, has now 3l4 less
employees in the Treasury Department
than when he took possession ofthe Of
fee, al III, lo.Io y
The New York Mail says: "a young
shoddyite makes great display in no
tells and public places by lighting his
cigars and cigarettes with greenbacks."
A Wisconsin gentleman sat down on
beehive the other day. He regrets that
the seat ofhis trowsers had not been half
soled. 2 81. 41f5st
Real estate in Portland and in all
parts of Oregon is rapidly changing
HdnuS dt auNdHClHB piitCS' AhO piVo-
poets for rapid growth of the State
are better than ever before in its histo-
ry.
| Josh Billings says: @The more babies
in family the easier and better they
are raised-one chicken alluz makes an
old hen more clucking and scratching
than dozen duz."
A subscriber in Texas complains be-
cause the kerosene which we recon-
mended to kill bugs on cucumber vines
also killed the vines. Well, who said
anything about the vines?
In some Maryland counties, where
schools for white children are closed
for want offunds, the negroes support,
voluntarily by their own contributions,
free schools for the eolored children.
There will be great rush to new
medicinal spring which has been discov-
cred in Eastern Massachusetts,. The
water is claimed TO taste worse than
any heretofore known.
Dan Rice Is about to begin his thirty
seventh farewell tour. Daniels the fare
wellest man in the busines, and runs q
F newspaper at Girard, in addition to his
other clownish and educated mule du-
ties.
An old farmer says the best way for
Young city chap who wants to be-
come an agriculturist is to hire out to
some farmer for couple of years, and
( then marry a girl who knows how to
raise chickens and make pantaloons.
e The Terre Haute Gazette is in a bad
: way for local items. 1t says pathetically
|, and appealingly: Wont somebody's
; daughter run away with some one, and
some ones old man get mad and shoot
some one, and some one light out and
: have some one arrested, or some one do
something to some one so somebody can
!. make anote oft. Say?
/ Tally one for Jim Fisk. Mcfarland
Il applied to him for a railroad pass jim
4 said that they were not issuing free pass
- es to assassins that day, but whenever
u he got control ofa road making through
connections for hell, Mcfarland should
d 90 through on the lightning express,
r free.
|. In his remarks upon Dickens sudden
4 death and the desirabiIity of going out
= of the world In q twinkling, Henry
: : Ward Beecher said, aHe should never
8 pray that God would deliver him from
/ sudden death. he did not want to be
d like and old harness tied up with TOW
J. strings, and always breaking, always
N up for repairs, and always good iOr
nothing.
,n Miss Shirk, one of the young women
: who, during the Vallandigham & cam
u naicn rode In n cart labelled; Mmtc
b. Husbands or rone," has changed her
lr mind somehow, and married one Lee A.
If Kelley. who, to the slight disadvantage
of being State Prison convict, adds the
!. serious one of being q black negro
- She has negro for q husband, ne q
Shirk for wife.
~ Thaddeus Stevens preferred ouriaI
y in an obscure burying groun1, Iatnel
IS than in either of the two beautiiui ceme-
I, teries In Lancaster, In both oi Wnlcl ne
- owned lots, because colored peop,e
|. could not be buried there and over eia
u crave IN his obscure resting place y
% nlaln marble with his own inscriPuon
ut IT lie here because the eartlli y nea 70 ~
Id Thaddsus Stevens"
~ Farm laporsrs comNsAa y -