Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-10-05
CURRENT PARAGRAPHS
Humorous.

| LIZ IlCll hIe huCtiOlleeTE
they attend to every ones bidding.
CoMPosITons are like prize-fghters,
when they strike and leave their prints.
AN "early closing movement" - the
morning glorys about IL o'clock.
THE war songs for Soma years to come
are likely to be all Europe pnans.
ARTISTS made the drawings on the field
of war, but the retreating French army did
the cuts.
SMITH does not know the fall fashion for
coats, but he thinks the best fall vest is
| the harvest.
| MARRIAGE makes man and woman one:
but the trouble Is to tell which Of them is
the one.
If A horse were asked if he liked his har.
ness, and could answer, he would say, ''Not
bit"
SHOULD Prussia determine to reinstate
| Napoleon, it will be done, and no Favres
asked
| NAPOLEON III. never wore glasses vet
recent events have shown that he was very
short-sighted.
| The trouble with the fresh French troops
| sent to the front was that they were alto
| gether too fresh.
WHAT species of love is that which is
never reciprocated "A neuralgia affec-
ton.
HENS can hardly be said to mediate an
attack upon their owners; yet they fire.
quently '.lav for EN-.
The present French republic is not to be
spoken of as new one, since it is a re-
public -atlon of the tissue" of 1913.
AN exchange suggests that the defender
of Metz be enrolled among the nobility as
the Duke Of Bomb-Bazaine.
INDIANI women refuse to visit their dis
tant friends, especially during the sessions
of the Common Pleas Court.
A CROSS old Bachelor suggests that
births should be announced under the
head of new music.
"YoU look as though you were beside
yourself as wag said to a fellow who
stood beside a donkey.
SEPTEMBER shooting in American fields
implies plenty of partridges; on the French
war fields 1t means many quails.
WHEN do the letter-carriers and distrib-
utors try to depreciate our beautiful city !?
When they are running down Broadway.
FASHION is fast, and sometimes over
hasty; thus, at the very opening of fall,
fashionable tallors announce fall clothes.
ACCORDING to the cable, the next revo-
luton Ia Spain, for which the army is pre-
pairing, is "any emergency that may
arise.
If THE Psrisfans want murderous en-
ginos they can get them of almost any of
the American railroad companies.
Mrs. PARTIHaroN says that since the in
Vention OF the needle gun there Is no
reason why women shouldn't fight as we'll
as men.
SMITH supposes that some of the census
takers are taking their statistics from the
tops of church steeples, from the way they
overlook people.
4 New YORK undertaken, wild with
drink, undertook" to repel charge of
French cavalry the other night and stab.
bed one of his employers horses with
pitchfork.
A ST. john newsboy astonished the pub
lie by crying the news Of Napoleon's sur
render, ''Heres oil about the great boss
Protestant
The 'iron horse" seems most alive when
1t is dragging heavy train up n steep
grade. Then tho locomotive labors-at
any rate, it puffs and blows.
FORMED long ago, yet made to-day, I'm
most IN use when others sleep; what few
would like to gi away, nnd none would
ever ike to keep.-A bed.
"WHY is it, husba ad, that whenever we
send for pound of tea or coffee to the
grocery man, it falls several ounces short?"
"Ob, it's just weigh he has"
AS people sprinkle the floor before they
wash them, SO some ladies sprinkle their
husbands with tears, in order to sweep
cash out of their pockets
FEMALES are gradually working their
way into the watch making business. Be-
cause they can produce handsome faces
and more delicate hands.
A JOURNAL asks what is the difference be.
tween a soldier and q fashionable young
lady ? and replies, zone faces tho powder
and the other powders the face"
There must be some mistake in the CO
ble dispatch which represented the Paris
Republicans as sacking the Tullolies, when
another report says they bagged nothing.
A CORRESPONDENT presumes to say that
Little Louis has given up all idea OF ever
becoming great Napoleon; but adds that
if he would only confess as much he
would certainly be little franc.
LATEST advices from Rome state that the
Pope and Diplomatic Corps have taken re-
fuge in the Castle of st. Angelo, and the
capitulation Of the city is hourly expected.
THE superb Bibliotheque Imperiale, of
D,ri I EoI
umns, $50 600 MSS, 800, 900 maps, 130, 900
engravings, and $50, 900 uumismatic speci-
| mems.
LEE FRAZIER, of Frankfort, Ky, about
| thirteen years old, had his skull fractured
Saturday afternoon, while playing base
ball, by bat flying from the hands of q
player
THERE is an item going the rounds Of the
press to the effect that Colfax will succeed
the venerable Greeley rs editor-in-chief Of
the Tribune. If that is true Schuyler never
will smile again.
PRIVATE dispatches from Rome to high
dignitaries of the church in, New York, an.
nounce the serious illness of the Pope, from
d renewal of the attacks of epilepsy to
which he has been subject.
| IhI- Nt1INA'SOi LII SAO Attee Ok
months nearly two hundred Roman Cath
olics in Lower Canada have given me theil
names to renounce Romarism.
A SPECIAL PREMIUM of a double case golC
hunting watch valued ct $500, is to be
awarded for the most skillful horsemanshiI
at the Montgomery county (Tenn.) fair
The female justices of the peace, nov
becoming so numerous, are said to admin
lister justice with vigor upon the erring o
the opposite sex.
AT the recent term of the Supreme
Court, iii session at Nashua, n. H., forty in
dictments were found by the grand jury
nearly thirty of which were for state pris
on offenses.
MICHAEL RILEY, Of Manchester, N. Fl.
was recently sent to state prison for tel
years for the murder of his wife. He wa
indicted for murder in the second degree
THE waves brought intelligence to Bos
ton of the recent terrible storm at sea fou