The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-08-09

cOIle sooner or ldicf, ana so l might a
well begin. read one OF them para
graphs over again so as to be certain, anC
and then burned my house down anc
i. started. | have crippled several peopl,
= and have got one fellow up tree, where
| eau get hiln if want him. But
y thought would call in here as passed
:. along and make the thing perfectly Ger
tain and now it is certain, and tell you
] it is lucky for the chap that is in the tree
| should have killed him, sure, as [ went
, back Good-by, sir, good-by-you have
. taken great Load of my mind. My
, reason has stood the strain of one of your
, agricultural articles, and know that
! nothing can ever unseat it now. Good.
/ by, sir
| felt little uncomfortable about the
, cripplings and arsons this person had been
entertaining himself with, for | could not
help feeling remotely accessory to them
but these thoughts were quickly banished,
for the regular editor walked in II
thought to myself, now, if you had gone
to Egypt, as | recommended you to,
might have had chance to get my hand
in; but you wouldn't do it. and here you
are. | sort of expected you
The editor was looking sad and per-
picked and detected He surveyed the
wreck which that old rioter and these two
young farmers had made, and then said
This is a sad business, a very sad
business. There is the mucilago bottle
broken, and six panes of glass, and a
spittoon and two candlesticks. But that
is not the worst The reputation of the
paper is injured, and permanently, fear.
True, there never was such call for the
paper before, and it never sold such
large edition or scared to such celebrity :;
but does one want to be famous for iu.
macy, and prosper upon the infirmities of
his mind ? My friend, as am an honest
man, the street out here is full of people,
and others are roostng on the fences,
waiting to get a glimpse of you, because
they think you are crazy. And well they
might, after reading your editorials They
are a disgrace to journalism Why,
what put it into your head that you could
edit paper of this nature? You do not
seem to know the first rudiments of agr-
culture. You speak of furrow and
harrow as being the same thing you
talk Of the moulting season for cows
and you recommend the domcsticaton of
the polecat on account of its playfulness
and its excellence as ratter You re-
mark that clans will lie quiet + music be
played to them, was superfuous- entirely
superfuous. Nothing disturbs clans.
CLANS al,oays lie quiet. CLAIMS care moth
ing whatever about music All, heavens
and earth, friend, if you had made the
acquiring of ignorance the study of your
life, you could not have graduated with
higher honor than you could to-day. |
never saw anything like it. Your obser-
walton that the horse-chestnut, as an arti-
Gle OF commerce, is steadily gaining iu
favor, is simply calculated to destroy this
journal. want you to throw up your
situation and go. want no more hol.
days-could not enjoy it i'll had it, Ger
aMayys s9y net sna %h b &2g ag il ii y ywa ha You H9ga gR
Dt gtlup W OVAL II I
me lose all patience every time think of
your discussing oysterbeds under the
head of Landscape Gardening" want
you to 90. Nothing on earth could per-
suade me take another holiday. Oh.why
didn't you tell me you didn't know any
thing about agriculture ~
"TeU you, you cornstalk, you cabbage,
you son of caulihower 1t is the first
time ever heard such an unfeeling re-
mark | tell you have been in the edi-
torial business going on fourteen years,
and it is the first time ever heard of a
mans having to know anything to edit a
newspaper. You turnip. Who write
the dramatic critiques for the second rate
papers? Why, a parcel of promoted
shocmakers and apprentice apothecaries,
who know just as much about good acting
as do about good farming and no more.
Who review the books? People who do
up the heavy leaders on finance? Par
ties who have had the largest opportuni-
ties for knowing nothing about it, Who
criticise the Indian campaigns? Gentle
men who do not know war-whoop from
wigwam, and who have never had to
run Il foot-race with tomahawk or pluck
arrows out of the several members of their
families to build the evening campfire
with. Who write the temperance appeals
and clamor about the flowing bowl ?
Folks who will never draw another sober
breath till they do it in the grave. Who
edit the agricultural papers, you-yam ?
Men, as general thing. who fail in the
poetry line, yellow-covered novel line,
sensation-drama line city-editor line, and
and finally fall back on agriculture as a
temporary reprive from the poor-house.
Yon try to tell me anything about the
newspaper business. Sir, have been
through it from Alpha to Omaha, and |
tell you that the less man knows the
bigger noise he makes and the higher sal
ary he commands. Heaven knows if |
had been ignorant instead of cultivated,
and inpudent instead of difiident, | could
have made a name for myself, in this cold,
selfish world take my leave, sir.
Since | have been treated as you have
treated me, am perfectly willing to go.
But have done my duty. have full
filled my contract, as far as | was per-
mtted to do it. said | could make
your paper Of interest to all classes, and
| have. said | could run your circula-
tion up to twenty thousand copies, and if
| had two more weeks I'd have done it.
Ann I'd have given you the best class of
readers that ever an agricultural paper
had-not a farmer in it, nor a solitary in
divedual who could tell watermelon
from peach-vine to save his life. You
are the loser by this rupture, not me.
Pie-plant. Adieu.
then lef.-G0la.ry for .hiy.
A Kansas gentleman had to defend his