The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-05-02
JOSH BILLINGS.
Some Of His Small Talk for General
81 Reading. q

Some Of His Small Talk for General
81 '4f Reading.
FSom Us Rsu Xork H6AEiV. I,I
l don't knO az think it IL q very diff
cult thing tow 10 n good tnjun up In
heaven, but tew cum down here and be Q
good injun, IL Just WHARF the tight spot
Gums in. y. l
What lamentable cuss man IL, lie pit.
tvs hiz Majors misfOrtunes, by calling them
judgments from heaven. do
VIE men go thru this world az boys %
tew bed in the dark, whlstllng tew shorten
the distance. .lg -a,
"The gods help them who help them,
SELF" Upon the same principle mankind
pFaze thoze who praze tllemselts.
Falling In love IL like falling into mol.
lassiss, sweet but dreadful dolby.
Hunters and gamblers are poor ekone'
nlists; they kill time, o species ov game
that kant be reproduced. U...e,,.. -,
Good breeding Is tho art ov avoiding
familiarity, and at the same time making
the company plcasedwith you and salts
fed with thenSeits. ~. lih'f s.'!-i' 5'.
Tew be happy-talIos things iAz they
cum, and lot them 90 az they cum. sa
It takes CRATE deal ,ov money, tew
make d man FITCH, but 1t don't take but
little virtew. ~ 1,'Ia.' ~ s.'.'Ea .
1t IL the little things ov this life that
plague U.s. Muskecters arc plenty, Gle
plants skarse. ...
What an agreeable world this would be
10 live in IL we could pump all the pride
and sclhshncss out OV i'll II would I'm:
prove 1t az much NJ taking the fire and
brimslun out oV the other world.
Don't mistake plezzure Tor happiness; Il
IL entirely different breed OY dogs. Thare
IL grate deal ov cxquisitt plezzure in
happiness, but there Is a CRATE deal ov
plezzure that haz no happiness In 1t. 4;
Thare IL only one thing that ikan thtnk
Ov now that like to sec i6leness in, and
that IL, in molassiSS want mi molasstsS
slo and easy. a H'9D
Experience haz the same etfGkt on most
folks that age haz on goose; 1t makes
them tuficr.
"sewing Society," are generally places
WHARF the wimmtn meet torip and soup
the naberhoOd. .5H .t.rt...l-. Z
It takes q smart man 70 conceal from
others what he don't kno.
A lazy man alWuz works harder than a
biz1y one-the hardest work kno oV IL
to grunt-it Il harder TO SGT still and fife
flies than 1t IL to git up and escape from
them.
The man who controls his pashuns sits
at the helm ov hiz ship.
7 1a,1k s1,auA oN1VAyV haitian nEyiHanRn that
q man IL phool than tew see him cult.
vato exccnticitys.
The man who kan conceal hiE real kar.
akter when he IL drunk, or in pashun,
haz got a giant karakter. ~ g,.'G,
l hay found out that happiness kousists
in working bizzy twelve hours, sleeping
eight hours, and playing checkurs four
hours out ov the twenty.tOur. ~.
Experience Is good schOolmaster,"
but reason liza hetter'one. v,rT.p g
Pcdan try IL hypocrisy, without emmy
malice in 1t. .3 9g vi
All the good men in this world hay got
the same kind Ov religion, It IL only the
ded beats, frauds and 'hypOkrits, whose
religion differs. o'
1hare iz2 kinds ov faith, faith ov the
brains, this IL nothing more than shrewd'
ness-and faith Ov the heart, this IL hu-
mility, half sister 10 virtew.
vi will motifs one thing, all good takers
arc good listeners,
III had the privilege ov making the
Eleventh Commandment, 1t would be this
lowe no man.
Young ones and dogs-thosc who arc
the least able to support them, generally
hav the most ov them.
Sum folks, as they gro older, gro
wizer but most folks simply gro. stub
bOrnGr, ...ir yt.ra.n eg,g
People travel to learn; most ov them
Cbeforc they start should learn to travel.
don't believe in fighting; am solemn.
ly against it; but it man gets tow fight
ing, I am also solCmnly against his getting
licked. Amer fight Is once opened, all
the vlrtew thare IL In itiz to lick tho other
party. -.a ~.
SANDER IL like the tin kittle tied TO a
jorg's tale-a very good kind ov kittle, so
long as it isn't our dorgs tail.