Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-12-29
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

L
Nor Pooh GIrr-A gin to the poor
ARoARNG Housekeeping menag-
: erie.
NAN in Dubuque has pocket book
seventy-1ve years old. 2la y
LONDON had 13c, ISL paupers on the 4th
of November.
WHAT is that WHICH must play before it
can work "A fre-engine.
The wealthiest man in Baltimore is
} worth only seven million dollars
WHAT is that which ties two persons,
but only touches one? A wedding ring.
) A CoNTRADIcTIoN-Th best way to
patch up quarrel is to split the differ
ence. B1&H 1& yf s
AN Albany undertaken sports 81, 700
rhearse. The people who ride in it are not
tproud l
IT is true wisdom to speak but little of
the injuries you have received or the good
deeds you have done.
"PULvERIzED dog" is the Colorado
name for the severest tax upon the gener-
Gus confidence Of an unsuspectihg public,
sausage.
SECRET society Of young women ex-
lists in Memphis. Each member is bound
not to marry man who cannot give her
I a diamond ring.
A SMART lad, hearing his mother re-
mark that she was fond of music, ex-
claimed, "Then why don't you get me a
drum 2"
THE historical society of Brooklyn, n.
! Y, have in their cabinet glass bottle, the
first one manufactured at glass factory in
that place, in 1854.
A BosTON street car conductor named
Bent picked up $500 diamond pin in his
car, found the owner, and restored it, re-
ceiving therefor $50 greenback.
AN Alderman, visiting church yard
nook, said: affhis is the spot where | in
tend being laid, If 1 lam sparedr'
| ATMosPHERIcAL knowledge, says the
Danbury, Mass, Nesos is not thoroughly
distributed to our schools. A boy, being
asked, What is mist!" vaguely respond
ed, An umbrella"
4 ONE of A. T. Stewards clerks who was
arrested for stealing an eight dollar shawl
confessed that he had stolen twenty seven
shawls in as many days.
AFTER lapse of twenty years, ring
lost by young lady" while bathing on
South Beach, Nantucket, was recently
| d
Boston paper states
A YOUNG gentleman with an inquiring
turn Of mind wished to be enlightened on
the following: If brooks are, as the poets
call them, the most joyous things in ma
ture, what are they always murmuring
about?
"YoUR cottons," said Flavia, care
cheating vile trash! See the colors are
gone, though you said they would wash ?"
I" Yes, madam" the shopkeeper answered
emo doubt said they would wash, but
meant they'd soash out"
AN ignorant man named Rogers, who
died at Cincinnati recently, and who, not
being able to write his name, made his
mark, leaves a will bequeathing to his
wife and five children $25000O, of which
$4,000 is in steamboat and dry dock
shares, and $1,000 in real estate.
THE simple and comprehensive epitaph
on Helen Blake" in Grayfrier's church
yard, Edinburgh, runs thus
I 'sShe was
! But words are wanting
To Say what!
| Think what q wife should be--
1 And she was thatl"
No mode of payment can be fair which
overlooks the previous training of the
workman. Sir Joshua Reynolds was once
asked by person for whom he had paint
ed small picture how he could charge SO
much for work which only employed him
for five days? give daysr' replied Sir
Joshua, "why, l have expended the work of
thirty-five years upon it,"
/ A MISTAKEN YOUNG MANI hope
you will be able to support me-" said a
young lady while walking out one evening
with her intended, during somewhat slip
perry state of the sidewalks. "Why, yes"
said the somewhat hesitating swain, with
little assistance from your father" There
was some confusion, and profound 81
lence.'
THEY say in San Francisco that if all
the briefs, pleadings, summonses, and
other law papers which have grown out of
the McGarrahan case were bound together,
they would make five hundred law vol
umes; also, that all the fees and costs
would amount to at least $4,000 900.
More than two dozen lawyers have been
retained in it first and last.
AN old herdsman, named Voeltker,
was gored to death the other Gay, near
Fransburg, in Prussia, by an Infatuated
bull. The bull had thrust his long, sharp
horns in such manner through the body
of the unfortunate man that he could not
Tree them again from his victim, and 30 ne
was found with the corpse hanging to his
horns. The dangerous animal was killed
soon after.
A MAN living in Freetown. Bury, Eng
land land, 7Aaffttrr due announcement" put up
his wife for sale the other night, the two
having become mutually tired of each
other. There were three bids-4s, 6s. and
Sand for the last generous offer the wo-
man was knocked down" to neighbor
for whom she had previously shown a
liking. The "lot" was borne away with q
rope around its neck.
i THEY have horse Of uncommon men,
tai powers in Brunswick, Me. He got
into the habit of leaving his lonely stable
for the free fields at will, and his owner
stuck a nail over the hasp fastening one
night. In the morning, however, the
horse was in the garden as usual He had
drawn the nail with his teeth, unhasped
and opened the door; and still more, he
had taken the garden gate from its hinges
and not dropped it, but actually set it up
beside the fence.
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