Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1870-05-06

The Council Bluff Times has q
female ink slingist.
/ The devil Of the Clinton Herald
swallowed a needle the other day--he
was hungry.
--E. III. Dohtrich was sentenced to
six years imprisonment at Dubuque
last week, for forging pension papers.
The Chaplain Of the Iowa pepi.
tentiary was asked by u friend how
| his parishioners were. "All under
conviction" was the reply. Press.
Ios0a CITY.
The Marshall County Times SAYS
the contract for grading the Central
Railroad of Iowa, from MARSHALL,
town to Oskaloosa has been given to
Judge Green of Cedar Rapids.
A Des Moines wag fastened a
piece of Grape on the door handle of
a saloon. The proprietor added a
moral to the joke by hanging bot
tie of whisky over the Grape.
Mr.. Holton, one of the pleasant
est OF railroad men, informs us that
ITO car loads of iron have arrived mt
the depot all to go on the road to
Waterloo. He also thinks the tele-
graph will be in operation here some.
time next week. - Vinton Journal.
The last McGregor FeWs contains
Mr.. Thompson's announcement that
on and after May 9th his interest In
the paper ceases. He has sold his
share to Willis Drummond and
Douglass Leffingwell.
Irish of the Iowa City Press calls
Beardsley of the Burlington Hawk.
eye, the magnificent idiot, i'm consid.
Grafton of which said Beardsley has
been given the Vice Presidency of T.
Tilton's woman's rights association.
IAN inquisitive youth" as the
Free Press calls him hooked the con.
tribution box at the Congregational
church In Newton last Sunday aud
made off with it. He was pursued
and captured, and the money recov-
cred,
The playful reporter Of the Des
Moines Bulletin gives the Hon. John |
Bersheim the title of ID. d., from the |
fact that he was ever watchful for the |
interests of the Deaf and Dumb Asy-
lum now i'm process of construction
at this city. We are happy To say
that he is justly entitled 10 the ap-
.lation.-NonpayieL.
-"GooD POINTS. Hon p. C.. |
Wright, of Dewitt, figures up the
hand as follows, in a telegram to ST.
perintendent Howe, the other day:
You have the Mississippi for high,
Block s for low, the Horse Railway
for jack, but where Is the game?
--G. N. Miner. Of Waverly, forM-
erly of Cedar Falls, addressed note
last week to Geo. LindIey, editor of
the Ne,os of that city. telling him
that though tall and strong he il
not too tall for coffin, nor too strong
for death.' That will be news to n
democratic editor.
A young man at Keokuk.
wanted to find out how q girl un-
harnessed, so he looked I'm a he'd.
room window. A pistol happened
to go off about then, and he has had
headache since. The ball was ex-
tracted from among his ideas, and he
now says that when he feels like
finding out anything of that kind
again he shall marry.
Persons who don't enjoy collect.
ing bills these hard times. and would
like to get rid of the ANNOYANCE:
ought to adopt the plan of a certain
Dutch shoemaker, who, having made
a pair of boots for a gentleman of
whose financial condition he was
rather suspicious, made the following
reply when the boots were called for:
"De poots ish not quite done, but der
peel ish mate out."-- West Mitchell
NeaCs.
The Nonpariel states that AK.
Lucas who short time ago deserted
a wife and three children in Council
Bluffs and fled for parts unknown,
With woman Of desperate character,
was SHOT and killed a few days ago
in bagnio in New Orleans. His
murdercrs killed him to get the wo-
man who had stolen him from his
wife. This is a singular illustration
of villainy bringing its own reward.
Gen. Thomas III. Benton, Jr., has
sold his household goods, and il about
leaving the State for a permanent
residence i'm Illinois. We sincerely
regret to chronicle the departure Of
so good and useful n citizen. Since
his residence among us he has taken
a deep and enlightened interest In
the progress of our Public Schools,
and his counsels in relation to Edu-
cational matters were always valua-
BILE. For some months past he has
been engaged i'm "railroading, In
that State, and we believe he now
goes back to that work. MarshaH
County Times.
-Thirty.three car loads OF soldiers
passed through Grand Junction yes
terday on the g. ~ N. w. Railroad.
on their way west. In this moves
ment Of the boys in blue we can see
much promise of good to the white
men who live in the far west. No
doubt the soldiers will sadly interfere
with the summer amusement of the
mobile red man. aud furnish much
food for dolorous lamentations to soft.
hearted philanthropists, i'm the east,
who think the ''untutored children
of nature" should he allowed to have
their little pastimes unmolested: but