The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-04-15

AMID the QdGk Of Suiu VI your mar
somebody's eyes will brighten to see it,
and, ere you are aware, you will become
"a tray to catch a sunbeam. Country
Gentleman.
AWIrE IN DISTRESS" Pray tell me,
my dear, what is the cause of those
tears 7"
"Oh, such disgrace!'
"What is it, my dearG Don't keep
me in suspense"
ooh have opened one of your let
tiers, supposing it to be addressed to my
self Certainly it looks more like Mrs.
than Mr."
as that all9 What harm can there
be in wife opening her husbands let
tiers z"
'No harm in the thing ITSELF but the
contents. Such disgrace2'
"Who has dared to write me letter
unfit to be read by my wife,"
"Oh no; it is couchcd in the in the
most chaste and beautiful language
But the contents the contents !"
Here the wife buried her face in her
handkerchief and commenced sobbing
aloud, while her husband eargery
caught up the episte that had nearly
broken his wife's heart. 1t was a bill
from the printer for three years sub
scription for the newspaper,
Husbands, take the hint, and keep
square with your publisher
PRoSIAc PoETRY.--I gave her rose
and gave her a ring, and asked her TO
marry me then, but she sent them all
back. the insensiblc thing, and said she'd
no notion Of men. | told her I'd oceans
of money and goods, tried to brighten
her with growl, but she answered she
wasn't brought up in the woods, to be
scared by the screech of an OWL | call
ed her baggage, and everything bad,
sighted her features and form; till at
length | succs ecaTt gettSg her mad,
and she ragcd1ik SSksk scSm a storm.
And then in a moment | turned and
smiled, and called her my angel and all,
and she fell in my arms like a wcari-
some child, and>eNclaiwcd-"We will
get married this fall.
CALCULATION THE first and con-
trolling attribute Of Reason, and neccs-
sarily allied to causality, comparison,
construction and caution. Our thoughts
are figures and our actions the sum to-
tai. lie was wise calculator who gave
his whole heart to God, and to himself,
bat seventy years at best Of mortal cXis-
tence who added daily to his life good
deeds, substracted from his vices, null
tplied his charities, divided his sub
stance, and declared as a dividend in his
dying hour the hope of blessed mmor-
taity beyond the grave.
Glove STRUCK. That "young man"
who on returning to his room from a Wis
it to his Sweetest" last Sunday night,
intended to hang up his Sunday clothes,
in his wardrobe and go to bed-was so
far beside himself that he undresscd took |
his clothes and put them nice y to bed
and covered them up, then went and
hanged himself up in the wardrobe. He
discovered his mistake when his "hold'
broke.
An Indiana paper tells of lawyer
there who charged client $40 for col
lecting 50, but said he would not press
him to pay the other dollar for a few
days, if it would be moro convenient
Cor him to let it stand.
A case of domestic scandal was under
discussion at tea table. DWELL let us
think the test OF her we cam" said an
elderly spinister. eyes" said another,
"and say the worst.
81 never go to church." said one:
II spend my Sunday in settling accounts.
"The day ofjudgement will be spent the
same way" was the reply.
A GENTLEMAN having presented his
church with the Ten Commandments, it
was wittily said that he gave them away
because he could not keep them.
What is the difference between an en-
trance of barn door and loafcr in
printing office? One is barn door, and
the other is a darn bore.
"You ought not to come to our dance
in boots with nails in 'em.' Il
haven't" "Then you've had your toes
cut off"
WHEN lovers quarrel, what presents
made on either side are not returnedf
The kisses.
THE mother of family writes to say,
that pawnbrokcr has no right to make
ddranceS to young ladies.
Fond Mamma-"And what would
Johnny do if poor mamma were to die ~
Johnny-"Eat up al the sugar"
A philosopher says that ifs anything
viii make woman swear, it is looking
for her night-cap after the candle is ont