The Van Buren press., 1870-04-19
MISCELLANY,
Mr.. Peters's First Wife.

"Dcar, dear no toast eggs boiled as
hard as brickbats, and the coffee stone
cold"
And Mr. Peters rose from the table in
temper by no means amiable, and rang
the bell violently. There was no answer.
He rang again, third, a fourth time, ,and
still no answer! Out ofall patience, he
went to the door and called" Maria !.
Maria ~
a slight, pretty little woman, dressed
N soied, tumbled wrapper, with hair
in state Of direful confusion, answered
his summons. She had one of those
bright faces which Nature intended
should he lecked with continual smiles );
but now, all its roses in bloom, it was
drawn 20 its full length, and the large
nlue eyes had n serious, or rather doleful
expression, totally at variance with usu-
a Joyous look. Her voice, too, had lost
It's melodious, ringing sound, and was
subduced to dismal whine.
What is it, Joseph p
Where's Bridget p
Gone out for me. ] want more white
ribbon for my ascension robe"
Mr.. Peters said very naughty word,
and then continued Cold coffee, hard
eggs, breakfast not fit to eat"
q wish," whined his wife, "you
would think less Of temporal matters, and
turn your attention to the great end of
life. ;"
Hang it all, madam, | like to enjoy
III I Il has,a i
the happiest man in the United States,
with pleasant home, Il chatty, cheerful
loving wife, and good quiet children /:
and now, since you have joined the
Millerites, what am p
Oh, Joseph, if you would only, only
come into that blessed circle"
"Oh, Maria, if you would only come
out oft Where are the boys"
I'm sure don't know"
"Are they going to school today
"No, dear Joseph"
"For what reason, madam Z"
"My dear their teacher has given up
the school, and is turning her mind to
more exalted objects. Oh Joseph, turn
now, while there's time. You have still
a week for preparation and repentance. "
Repentance Well, when l take up
the subject, it will take more than week
to put it through
"And Mr. Peters put on his Goa: and
took up his hat"
"Joseph," said his wife, "you need
not send home any dinner ! shall be
out, and III take the boys over to their
unclc's to dinner"
Joe made no answer, unless the vio-
lently emphatic manner in which he clos
cd the door was one. Muttering with
anger, he strobe into restaurant to make
breakfast Here he was hailed by one
Of his friends, Fred oomers, who looked
up as he heard Joe's order.
Halo 7! he cried, "you here Z What
are you doing here at breakfast time 7
Wife sick 7"
mo"
Had quarrclf'
mo, ="
"Gore to town.
mo"
Then why don't you breakfast ut
homer Chimney On fire p
No
Servants all dcad?'
NO"
"Well, what in thunder is to pay Z"
Mara's joined the Millerites !"
Fred gave long shrill whistle, and
then sad Going to ascend next week 7"
Yes, and if don't commit suicide
IN the meantime, you may congratulate
me, am almost distracted Can't get
a decent meal, children running riot.
servants saucy, house all In confusion, wife
got the blues, either quoting the speeches
of the elders at me, or sewing on white
robe, and groaning every third or fourth
stitch. Hang it all, Fred, I've great mind
to take poison or join the army"
Him! him you give an enchanting
picture, but ! think can suggest cure !"
"A cure ?"
Yes, IT, you will promise to take my
advice, will make your home pleasant,
your wife cheerful, and your children
happy"
"Do itw cried joe "rll follow your
word like soldier under his superior
officer. What shall do ?"
At tea time Mr. Peters entered his
home, whistling, Maria was seated at her
sewing and there were no signs Of pre-
paration for the evening meal.
" Maria, my dear" said NJ. Peters, sis
tea rcady?"
81 don't know" was the answer,
"have been out all day attending meet.
ing"
"Oh, very well never mind. Attend.
ing meeting You are resolved. then, to
leave next week."