Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-04-20
From the New York Freeman's Journal.
4THAT SAME OLD COON.e

When the British Parliament declared
penal offence to bury the dead in any
thing but wooden, they did it with tn
avowed purpose of benefit:ing particu
lar class of dealers, and made no falls
pretence that the corpse was thereby rem
dered more comfortable, or the marke
price of the prescribed fabric dimln
iShed.
our Legislators are not quite so candid
A bill is now pending in Congress, and SUR
to pass, they say, which proposes largely
to increase the already exorbitant duties
imposed ON the importation of certain
articles in the production of which a por
ton of citizens actuated by purely pay
triotic motives, no doubt-have embarked
their capital.
These articles, it is conceded, can be
manufactured more cheaply abroad thar
at home, and consequently would be pur'
chased abroad, were no tax levied on theil
introduction. But lay sufficient tariff to
increase the price of the imported article
to point equal to, or above, that at which
| similar domestic commodities can be prot
itably produced, and the latter will at once
be enabled to compete with the former.
$50. far all right says the Hon.
Phineas Phunkey, NJ. c., from Bobbins-
vile, when you have thus stated the case.
''Right enough for the producer, but
what of the consumer? you venture TO
hint Unfortunate wordsl The Hon.
Phineas has you just where he wanted
you. He is in his element now. He
lams you with logic, pommels you with
postulates, pelts you with propositions,
stumps you with statistics, and fuddles
you with facts, till from the depths Of
despair you cry 'speccdUj, and humbly
confess that the higher the tax on the
foreign, the cheaper becomes the home
made article. Why it is so, you would
be glad to know; but not for worlds
would you run the risk, by asking the
question, of provoking another of the
Hon. Phineas's onslaughts, t. which the
"Strepitus, crepitus, sonitus, tonitrus,"
spoken of by Plautus, is nothing.
One of our New York representatives,
the Hon. S. S. Cox, tackled the Hon.
Phineas the other day. On the principle
that cheap foreign products are, philoso-
phically considered, the dearest, MIR.
Cox said he couldn't exactly see why
Congress shouldn't wall up the windows
and Theoretically seal the skylights of the
Capitol. Sunlight is not only foreign
commodity, but dog cheap-SO cheap that
it must be the offspring of pauper labor.
1t directly completes with the gas from
Pennsylvania coal, the petroleum of
West Virginia, and the tallow of Texas
to say nothing of lard oil, beeswax and
calcium. Shut out the sunbeams, there
fore, urged Mr.. Cox, not only from the
Capitol, but from the country at large.
Erect vast circus tent over the land, and
let gas light and kerosene glare through
out our borders! Should the latter
explode now and then, so much the
better for the doctors. Like true
let us supply our own wants;
and when eclipses come and fOgs arise,
with our lamps trimmed and burning, we
may laugh to scorn those who have suf-
fered their cruets to become dry, putting
their trust in Phebus and free trade.
The Hon. Phineas answered Mr.. Cox
-hOlO we cannot tell; but we know, as
him. The Hon. Phineas di,Ddys has the
last word. It's way he has.
The YUcercst answer came from Judge
Woodward. The Judge, you know, is
sound, high tariff Democrat. 81 confess
this sort of legislation is all wrong" said
he; ''but then we have entered upon it,
and the people of my district have invest
cd their money on the faith of it.
Let us see how that carries out. Ever
50 many loyal people invested their money
in SItOddy-nliLLs during the war. With
the end of the war ceased the demand for
shoddy. Would it have been a good ar
gument against peace, that its advent
would stop these mills? or should we have
kept On fighting in the interest Of shoddy2
Put another case. Hans Skoovendyke
puts his money in mandatory of
Dutch scythcs. Jacob Ransower invents
q moving machine, which, if allowed TO
come into competition with Hans scythes,
will drive them out of the market.
Would 'tequity and good conscience" re-
quire Jacob to be sustained by injunction
from vending his invention to Hans pref
udice2 If not, aChy nOR Again, should
Senator Morton have been stopped by a
writ Of nc Great from running off after
French nlOTdS, instead OF patronlZlng
IIelmbold's boo hoo?
The fact is nobody-but Horace Gree
in this protective nonsense;
but the trouble is, there are so many petty
interests to be cared for that the general
welfare is completely lost sight of.
There are so many members of Congress
in Judge WOodward's fix-whose constit-
uents in the shoe-peg or fsh-hook bust
ness, are constantly crying, 'lprOtegs
each, to carry out the bebests
of his own locality, must yield assent to
the demand of every other.
81 would go ten rods out of my way to
kick sheep" said John Randolph, thor
oughly disguised with the protection
clamorers of his day. We wonder how
far he would have gone to serve similarly
the Hon. Phineas Phunkey.