The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1870-10-08
Miscellaneous.
Selected.

Which is preferable, the right man in a tight |
Mace or a tight one in the right place.
The census in the United States is to cost about
SIX cents head for ali persons enrolled
4 sailor, unaccustOmed to society, said to his
nartner after waltz: 80 Let me take you to |
YOUR supercargO-
"Pa," said a little friend OF ours, " what's |
the use Of giving our little pigs so much milk ?
sIhey make hogs of themselves"
Premier Gladstone is to have his wages raised !
to $4,000 a year. Can't entertain properly on |
less than the larger figure
Sc know said little girl, 60 that the Dutch
man will whip. Ny pa is a Frenchman and my
ma Dutchman- They fight every night, and
ma always licks."
A girl hearing the lady of the house, at dinner,
ask her husband to bring " Dombey Il Son y
with him when he came home to tea, had two
extra plates on the supper table.
A Providence policeman asked drunken
Ethiop whom he could scarcely see in the dim
light of station-house cell, :. Are you colored?
COlored, no, dis yer chile born So"
A passenger on the Ohio railroad aroused
from a serene slumber the other night by the
toOting of the whistle, and exclaimed: g The
pain has caught up with those cattle again ~
Wanted-a pupil from the school of reform :.
lair from the head of old cane; few tears
chat man shed when he cried fire the chair the
eun sets IN, the bed the moon rises from
Here is the way they advertise the qualifications
Of situatiOn-seeker in Brigham Youngs domain
= He Is a matchmaker by trade, faithful man
end saint, and is willing to help build up Zion
The following is a veritable transcript from the
record of will admitted to probate in the State
Of New York '' bequeath my body to the grave,
nv soul to its Maker, and the remainder Of my
PoPerty to my wife"
Such dry Summer as the present has not been
known in New Hampshire since John FL. Warand
eaited the CLdreH0UHt Eagle, some twenty-five
Years ago when he said it was dry that he had
. soak his pig to make him hold swill.
Six million pairs of kid gloves are used up -
in New York city every year. An important and
Expensive article of wardrobe is the glove. 1t is
eaid that beautiful gloves made from the skin
81 the real kId at Salt Like City.
t.AN EQUrvOcAL COMPLMENT.-0ne of Disraei's
1&nirers, N speaking of him to John Bright.
t&h, - You ought 70 give him credit Tor what he
- accomplished, as he is a selfmade man. 50
LOW he is, retorted Mr.. Bright, IS and he adOres
~ MAKER
The whole number of Union soldiers buried in
natiOnal cemeteries, whose names and places
ktOwn, is about 200, 900. The Twenty-fifth vol
1rne of the Roll of Honor, about to be issued,
contains nearly 26, COO names, and several more
4olumes will be required to contain the whole
~ mber.
paper is Published in the Cherokee Nation,
fre of which is printed in what is supposed to be
a Us the worst case of picked tongue we have
<Dple in contact with The page looks like there
80 been ntro-glycerine explosion in a type
bRndry."
bachelor had the blues and applied to doc
<4t for some medicine. The doctor inquired into
4s case and wrote prescription in Latin, which
H8 bachelor took to a drug store. Translated,
"t prescription read, 80 Seventeen yards of silk,
EIh woman in It," The bachelor proposed to a
tI that evening and was married in two weeks.
Awyers have a ludicrous habit of identifying
Pseives with their clients by speaking in the
fsrl number :" Gentlemen of the iury = said a
-W1ern lawyer, . at the moment the policeman
s-ye pc saw US IN the trap, will prove that we
intokication - '''0 -
GasgoW merchant, on his death-bed. sent
fora Free Church clergymen Hayino some Cears |
T4TruIng ms future propects, he asked the reyer
tn1 gentleman = DO you think if L were to leave
.. 4i3,DO0 to the Free Kirk that my soul would be
' faf1d?" 90 Well, answered the cautious minister
e Couldn't just promise you that, but think
u 20 experiment well worth trying -
ne bill on marriage with deceased wifa,s
.r#t4 has given rise to some strange queries from
ttt British public Says Lord Granville: ss If
~, husband is brother to the wife's sister, the
WIG nust be sister to the husbands brother and
tn-efore 1t Is not competent for the husbands
pr4ter to marry the wife's sister, although he is
. rf1alfted to do 50 by the existing law
% ipe largest pecuniary reward ever offered for
lr1 1etectlOn and conviction of a murderer has
hfpo offered for the detection of the murderer of
Ntptn. The aggregate amount pledged is forty
ee1tn thousand dollars. IF the william escapes the
zes1 pursuit to which large reward invites
SO forts of every lynx-eyed detective, there is
- ftt7 probability that the mystery will ever be
i11s1
, Masonic WEDDING.-In Kalamazoo, Mich
eel and very brilliant wedding took place at
H4e EOmmandery of the Knights Templar John
o. hoffman, member of Peninsular Comman-
sAU No. 8, Knights Templar. was married BY
Hchte the Rev. Dr. Foster, of st. John s Church.
TO Ass Lizzie Rollins, daughter of Hugh Rollins,
hany years Tyler of tho Lodge. Invitations
been issued by the COmmandery, and not
i. pstanding the intense heat. the splendid Com
aA W2dery room of the Knights was Gled. The
*mony was imposing, beautiful and impressive,
|. viii De long remembered by those who wit
80 it. Ii Is said this is the first wedding in
Ponic Lodge and under its auspices. In the
co vent Scottish rite, marriages and baptism are
fn celebrated. Certainly il was done in regal
e, and with generosity and hospitality that re-
Re the glory Of the days of chivalry.