The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1870-12-16
Mark Twain Reports the Farm
ers' Club. .t-..4 Of

Ex.Constabio Quinn desired the cluh
10 inform him how to make hogs root.
DR.. Slow had been o practical farmer
for tho last six weeks, and In all the
varied agricultural experience, no such
thing as hogs root had ever como under
his notice. What was itf Was II edible1
Was il useful in any way, or was it. a
he more than expected, another worthless
humbug devised by the sharpers TO de-
fraud US practical farmers? He knew not
whether 4 was propagated by seeds or by
cuttings, but no would advise Mr.. Quinn
10 be, shy Of hogs root, especially IL Il
was . new tangled or high.priced tuber. r
Mr.. Mokcr, the agricultural writer,
explained the anatomy Of the hogs pro-
boscis. It is designed for subterrannean
foraging, by process vulgarly called
roofing, to which Mr.. Quinns inquiry
probably referred. Being . delicate or.
gan it is liable to injury. He would
recommend that Mr.. Quinn wipe his pigs
nose. If he finds it red, he may be sure
It is tender and needs protection by me.
tallic shield. Some resort to the strate-
gic device Of inserting q wire ring in the
hogs nose, in his efforts to remove which
he would naturally thrust his snout into
the soil, aud thus root unwittingly. That
was playing it rather low on the hog. and
the metallic shield was preferable on the
score Of fair dealing and philanthropy.
Mr.. Greeley exhibited pumpkin Of
his own raising. As it embodied his soil.
tary and crowning success, after several
years Of discouragiug failure in pumpkin
culture, the club surrounded It with un.
covered heads. and mingled emotions Of
surprise, admiration and envy. 1t was .
superb fruit, and when Mr.. G.'s hat was
placed on 1t. to illustrate the size and
symetry, the hat and pumpkin seemed 30
perfectly adapted to each other, and TO-
gcther produced an effect 50 startling that
several enthusiastic members swore they
would have known who raised that pump.
kin If they had seen II anywhere. II is to
be photographed by Gurney. and next
years Tribune subscribers will receive
copies. The pumpkin was the aattering
product Of one bushel Of seed planted on
the farm in Champagne. Soon after bios
soming the vine manifested an inclination
to withcr. 1t was thereupon transplantcd
to large aower-pot and removed to the
town residence of its founder. For some
time it pined and dropped, and they sat up
nights with il, expecting that every mo.
ment would be its last,but every moment
turned out not TO be its last, and with
careful nursing it finally rallied and came
up to maturity, as cherished and tough =
pumpkin as ever grew. ,...s
DR.. Sixhammers suggested that the re-
suit Of Mr.. G.'s indomitablc struggle with
this pumpkin, showed how every city fam.
lily could provide itself with pumpkin pie.
He hoped to see the day when every win
dow-sill, in every city, would be adorned
with fructifying pumpkin pots, and every
workman's cottage embowered in pumpkin
vines. ~
Thomas Dodd, Of New Hampshire,
writes to the club that he is fifty years
old, in6rm with consumption, has q largo
family, ten dollars in money, and wants
to know what to do. f--I .-....
Mr.. Moker-Go out to Greeley Colo
ny aud invest in irrigating ditch. .'l
Mr.. Layman-Buy texas rancho or q
Florida orange grove.
DR.. Simble His health requires
light farming in a bracing climate.
Let him start an indigo plantation in
Alaska.
Mr.. Greeley-Ho mustn't come TO
New York. His $40 wouldn't last .
year but out West he can invest Il and
Srow up with the country.