The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-11-24
WIT AND HUMOR.

--Sof. soap, in some shape, pleases
all; and, generally speaking, the more
lye you put in it the better.
Elegant Simile.-An editor says
"The march Of civilization is onward
--onwart-likc the slow but intrepid
tread Of jackass toward peck Of
oatsr'
"A proud ard loving Missouri faith
er, in setting forth the accomplish
ments of his daughter, said che could
"eyeglastingly paw ivory and howl like
u mule" .r
Peace at Last Alcountry paper
says: There is graveyard in ll,o
neighborhood where may be seen the
impressive picture ola man sleeping
peacefully By the side of his six wives"
Throughout the Northwest there
is great excitement among all the wo-
men because it is now understood that
the internal revenue officers will not
suffer a child TO be born unless STAMP
is first affixed.
"A youngster, after deep meditation,
broke out to his father: PA! know
why colored people have white soles
to their feet and white palms to their
hands. When the first colored man
was made, he stood on all-tours while
God was painting him"
An orator, pcrspiring freely, in
husky voice said: sin short, ladies
and gentlemen, | can ouly say that
wish [ had a window in my bosom,
that you might see the emotion of my
heart The newspapers published the .
speech, leaving the IN" out Of the
"window."
A lady made a a,caIl upon friend
who had lately been married. Wl5n
her husband came to dinner ii: said.
I've been to Mrs. 5" "WelL"
replied the husband Il suppose size .5
very happy "iappy! Well, IsLoa.l
think she ought to be; she In. q cam
eIs-hair shawl two thirds border"
Says the Psalmist, He makel
my feet like kinds feet" ! negro
preacher read it "hcn's feet" anil pro.
ceedod to say "dat hen in the hen
roost, when it falls asleep, tigAlens is
grip SOS not to fall Of. And dats
how true faith my breddren, holds On
to dc rock
-" Ma,' said an intelligent, thought,
iul boy, Il don't think Solomon was
so rich as they say he was" "Why.
my dear, what could have put that into
T your.hoad ?" asked the astouishei
mother. because the Bible saws he
slept with his fathers; and | think if
he had been so rich, ne would have had
3 bed Of bis own"
The following scene recently oc-
cured in one Of our courts between
( lie Judge and Dutch witness all the
way from Rotterdam: what is vour
native languagc| Il pc no native
-" hat is your mother tongueY' 'Ich
had no mudder, mynheer." What
did you fir learn? What language
did You speak in the5crade?' 81 did
not speak no language ia the cradle
| only cry in Dootch."
A laughable thing took place at
revival meeting, somewhere in Missis-
sippi not long since. The minister
noticed 4 setdy-lookng chap in one OF
the seats, looking as though he needed
religion, or q good square meal. So
he stepped up to him and asked him if
he was 4 christian. mo, sir" said he,
Il am he.eaitor of Radical paper in
this place" "Then, in the name OF
God let us pray replied the devoted
minister.
a Hint.--Not many miles from town
company Ola few friends might have
been seen one evening in The parlor Of
an old couple, spending few hours in
social chat. Time flew rapidly to all,
save the "head of the house." who,
about nine O'Clock, got very sleepy.
He never stay ed out Of bed later than
that if he could help it. The compa-
NY, however, talked and talked, and
talked to the old lady, who enjoyed the
conversation much, whilst the bigger
half dozed and nodded, and occasional
" snorcd just little. Finally, getting
his eyes fully opened, and seeing the
clock marked half.past nine, he turned,
yawningly, toward the partner Of his
oys and his sorrows, and said, wife,
hadn't we better go to bcd2 These
'olks want to go home"
a Good Joke on Editors.-Soon ag,
er Chief Justice Chase assumed the
5ubernatorial chair of Ohio, he issued
lis pro-. .Imation appointing thanks.
giving day. To make sure Of being
orthodox, the Governor composed bis