The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1870-01-28
22-NUMBER 10.
OLA PODRI A.


What * the greatest want Of the
age? Want OF funds.
How about that Sublime Portes Is
ii any better than Catawha?
Can people who lisp believe in young
ladies2 No. Every Miss is myth to
them.
Some OF the strOng-minded women
| denOunee matrimOny, because, they
say, there Is something childish ia it.
\ faeetious fellow, haveing unwitt-
ingiy offended a cOnceited puppy, the
latter told himhe was no "gentle-
man."
Young Prussians will hereafter come
I of age at twenty-One, like other peO-
pie Heretofore the age has been
twenty-five
The DOwager MarehiOness of West
minister is the most interesting widow
in Europe. She has an income of
SSOO,O year.
/ Isabella of Spain and Francis the
I A1NNOAiuf vi ANdDlcSy tAAG AAOh AColulAl1
IN the same house in Rome.
a woman in Paris gains a good liv-
ing by giving characters to servants
out of place. She has been found out
and is in trouble.
Nancy w. Nixon, wife of a fifcr in
the Revolution, and whose father was
wounded at Bunker Hill, died in BOs-
ton last week, aged nincty-twO years.
]. S. Hubbard, Esq, the oldest male
resident of Hickman, Kentucky, and
one of the wealthiest men of Ken
tucky, died on Saturday morning last.
Sentimental yOuth-''My dear Ma
! ria, will you share my lot in life?u
/ Practical girl-''HOw many acres
in your lot, sir?"
''Sir,n said one politician to another,
my party is an immOvable rock"
'Then, sir, the ship of State should
steer clear of it."
A negro Methodist preacher in Phil
adelphia actually took his last Sun
days text from ode 'pistle oh st. Paul
to de Canadians"
Florence Baker, the young girl ar
rested recently at Toledo, for wearing
boys clothing, was again arrested at
Cleveland, on Thursday evening.
COlman, the dramatist, was asked
if he knew Theodore Hook. "Yes,"
replied the wit: "IEOOk and Eye are
old associates"
Don't give your mind to lying. A
lia L., II I.,k
like bad shilling, it's found out at
last
a Scotch lady, who was discompOs-
ed by the introduction of gas, asked
with much earnestness, ''what's to be-
come o. the poor whales!"
1t WAS asked by a scholar, why mas
ter Thomas Hawkins did not marry
Miss Blagrove, he was answered, "He
couldn't master her, so he missed her."
care you a gentleman" asked the
droll one. eyes, sir" answered the
fop. ''rhen, [ am very glad 1 an
not" replied the other.
Shannon, tried at Adrian, Mich, for
man-slaughteF, in causing the death of
Mrs. Abigail Duryea, by attempting
to produce an abortion, has been con-
victed.
"That's a pretty bird, grandma
old dame, "and he never cries. -
''Hhat's because he's never washed"
rejOined the yOunster.
An Irishman, who lived in a garrett,
being asked what part of the house he
occupied, answered. ''If the house
were turned tOpSy-t'TUy, I'd be livin'
on the first floor"
~ gentleman asked a friend, in
very Knowing manner, "Pray, did
you ever see a eat f-fsh?" 'NO," was
the response, "but I've seen u rope
IDdIk.n
A notorious miser having heard
a very eloquent charity sermon, ex-
claimed, "Hhis sermon strongly proves
the necessity of aims. have almost
mind to turn 6cggdr."
1t is not joy, nor repose, that is the
aim of life. 1t is work, or there is no
aim at all. Work and love, that is
the body and soul of the human be-
ing. Happy he where they are one.
'Pay me that five dollars you owe
me, Mr.. MalrOOney," said country
attorney "FOr what"i "FOF' the
opinion you had of me-" "Faith, 1 !
neUcr had any good opiIliORof you in
all my life"
A prominent citizen of Philadelphia,
who was dispIeased mt an article i'm
the Ledger, met the proprietor and
said, ''I wish to stop your paper" He
answered, 'DO you mean to discOn-
tinue your copy or stop the whole
edition, us it makes some diiIarence%'
a mother, admOnishing her son Ia
lad about seven years OF age, told
him he should never defer till tO-mOr-
row what he could do to-day. The
little urchin replied, '"Fhen, mother,
let's eat the remainder of the pudding
tonight"
Learn to insure your principles
against the influence of ridicule. You
can no more exercise your reason, if
you live in the constant dread OF
laughter, than you can enjoy your
life if you live i'll the constant fear of
death.
A young man met a rival who was
somewhat advanced in years, and
wishing To annoy him, inquired how
old he was? 81 can't exactly tell, " re-
piled the other; "but can inform you
that an ass is older mt twenty, than a
man at sixty?"
The stories that Minister Burlin-
game was in disfavOr at the Chinese
Court, and. that he had been recalled,
turn out to have been inventions Of
the enemy. So far from this, reliable
accounts state that his acts have been
approved, and the treaties made by
him ratified.
\ certain clearinghouse was very
much infested by veTmin. A gentle
man who slept there one night, told
the landiady So the morning, when
she said, ola, sir, we haven't IA single |
bug in the house" ''NO, ma'am, ~
said he, "thcy're all BalfTTied, and have
large families too"
The attachment OF some ladies TO |
their lap-dOgs amounts, i'm some in /
stances, to infatuatiOn. An ill-tem- |
pcrcd lap-,l0@, biting piece out Of u |
male VISITORS leg, his mistress thus !
eXpresictt hcr cODlpHSSfOH; Poor little |
dear creature! / hope it will not |
make him sickr'
a browbeating counsel asked wit !
ness how far he mad been from a GER /
tain place "Just four yards, two |
feet, and six inches" was the reply. |
GLOW came yOH to he 80 exact, my /
friend?'' Because I expected some |
fool or other would ask me, and so /
measured it,"
Smith and Brown, running opposite [
ways round "A corner struck each Otli- /