Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1870-07-29
A FEARFUL SCENE.
Thrilling Adventure with Wild Beasts in an
Express Ufffcs-A Monkey Sitting In Hot
SsaIing-wax-An Aps Failing into slue
Pot-A Gorilla Changing his Spots.

From the Titusville Herald, July l9.
The life of an express agent has its
dangers and difficulties as well as
pleasures, and also at times is marked
with thrilling escape and wild adven-
ture. The agent that handles the
packages marked this side up with
care" and in the excitement of busl-
ness reverses the position of things,
stands as good a chance of being
"blOWn up" as he who carelessly
drops a can containing, nitro -glycerin.
Some queer express matter is handled
occasionally, such as live rattlesnakes,
marked handle carefully; brace Of
fancy fowls, wild cats and cans, marked
boned turkey, which contain glycer-
in. and other explosives too numer-
Gus TO mention. We have case in
point. On Saturday last a box re-
sembling a chicken coop was received
at the TitusVille Office of the Union
Express Company, marked "D. Rice.
Titusville, Penn. (halt-dOzen grapes }
Do not annoy the contents" At first
the attaches OF the company paid but
little attention to the ''coOp," which
from its marks was SuppOsedi 10 con-
tain boxes Of early grapes which the
shipper desired handled carefully to
avoid confusion and decsy.
The day passed, but the cOnsignee
called not for his fruit, and measures
were discussed as to the best manner
in which to collect charges upon the
same, when all discussion was ended
by the " contents of the box making
a charge themselves; for in the twink
ling of the extreme end of a lambs
back bone no less than several bald
headed, sWeet-scented, miSchievOus
monkeys had jumped from this Pan
dora's box and had taken posses
sion of the Office. 1t seems that
the intelligent assistant express
agent at some point had in
tended to mark. the box, half
dozen gray apes" but differing from
Webster in his spelling, had thus
caused the mistake and detention of a
box of supposed fruit, which in real
ity was a consignment of moral mon
keys for Dan Rice's show, and which,
instead of eapering nimbly about vi o1
the backs of the sacred cattle to the
lascivious pleasing of cOrnucOpia at
Dams great show, had been wasting
their sweetness on the desert air, un-
til hunger and thirst compelled raid
upon the express office.
But no time was lost. The doors
were secured, and armed with sticks
of sealing wax, money packages, and
C.. o. D. packages, the forces of the
company rallied, and a lively chase
began. The balloons chattered, the
employees INDUCED themselves as did
the army at Flanders, and from one
end OF the office to the other the tide
of battle rolled, while far above the
din of conflict could be heard the voice
of Robinson giving orders amid the
crash of falling boxes and the smell
of singed hair as the apes dashed over
the candle for melting wax.
"But the battle is not to the strong"
if il had been the apes would have
carried the day, for the atmosphere
was filled with a mingled OdOr of
scorched hair and polecat. The leader
of the "What is its' sat down in a
pool of melted sealing wax, and in an
instant was rooted to the spot. A sec
ond was demOraliZed by quart bot
tie of ink, which, striking him upon
the tOp-knot, showed that if the leop-
ard can't change his spots the monkey
can. \ third one fell into the glue
pot, and was dragged out by the tail,
with each particular hair standing on
end, like the quills of a fretful por-
ker swine" gOiug to war, and
the glue solidifying as it came in
contact with the air, he quickly re-
sembled a statue cut in wax and var
nished. The animals were finally all
secured and slowed in the box, where
they are now quietly engaged in
Illuminating upon the fickleness of
mans lOve-and chewing peanuts.
The employees of the express Office
look pale, and have the appearance of
men who have passed through Ander-
sOnville, but they propose to conduct
the express business in a tirst-class
manner, and balloons, gOrilias, or
other wild denizens of the forest viii
be handled with neatness, or dis
patched, as may be necessary.