The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1870-01-26
~'NS CARDS.
WIT AND HUMOR.

A color difficult TO see-B!ind mans bni
Are not chignons hair-'cm srrrce-'e;
things,
Wouldn't you hang IA railroad conduct
with branch line!
Old maid. are described as ombers from
which the sparks have fed.
! Why are Women like beets, Because IT,,
younger they are the-sweeter.
An 1rishman went to live in Scotland fo
a short tin4, but didn't like the country. 81
was sick an the time l was there said he
land if | had lived there till tLis time. l.
been dead year ago.
During revival meeting. a good Method
ist lady made fervcnt exhortaton. rrcfac
ing it with the remark that she once eniove,
herself by going 10 theaters. An fhattcntiyc
but enthusiastic brother shouted: $50 did /
bless the Lord"
"lf you will quote any of my jokes" says
Lamb, ''quote this, which is really a good
one: Hume and his wife and several children
| were with me. Hume repeated the old say
ing: 'One fool makes many aye. Mr.. Hume.
said |, pointing to the company, you have Il
fine family.
doctor. what do yo think is the matter
with my little boy!" "Why. it's only cor
justified exegesis antspasmodicallv emanat
ing from the germ of the animal refrigerator
producing prolific source of irritatiitv in
the pericranial epidermis of the mental pro
fundity.' ''Ah. that's what | told Betsy.
but she lowed it was wurrums.-
taste in wearing another woman's hair On
your head" said Smith to his wife. M,
dear Joe. l ALL equally astonished that vou
persist in wearing another Sleeps wool on
your back. There now"
General Smith, in Congress while deliver
ing one of those long, prosy speeches for
which be was noted. said TO Henry CLAY:
'You speak. sir. for the present generation.
but speak for posterity.' Yes replied
the great kentuckian, sand it seems YOU are
resolved to speak till your audience arrives"
A darkey was observed in one of tie
streets of Louisville, his teeth cllatterng Ike
q reaper under full headway. He was e,.t-
one told him that it would give him the
chills. He looked up. with his mouth hef
full and slice in each hand. and shivered
L
desc tings. Dar amt no danger oh maxim
me shake wus'n l duz. Howsumeber, I'll
eat dis'n if dies fore gifts to dc rncs.'
At late military dinner, one of the Wis
itors proposed toast-"May the nan who
has lost one eye in the service of his coun-
try, never see distress with the other" but
the person whose duty it was to read the
toast. by emitting the word distress. COM
pletely changed the sentiment. and caused
merriment by the blunder. -s
Thirty-two ladies'. of Upton, Ind, all
young and many of them beautiful. !recehtly
met in council and passed the following fIief
preamble and comprehensive resolution:
Whereas. we mean business; therefore,
be it
Resolved, that we will not accompany any
young man to church, or other places of
amusement, who uses tobacco in any manner.
and that we discard all young men who play
billiards, euchre or poker; and that young
men who indulge in profane language need
not apply; and that we will not, by hook.
look or crook. notice any young man who in
dulges in lager beer or whisky; and that re
will not harbor young men known to keep
late hours. sssssts.f ...Yss go,