Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1870-01-28
Barber Shop in,Francs.
From "Innocents Abroad"

Il CuCTiSIlcu dIuulClOu VI ullilc W Ue
shaved some day. in epalatial bar
Der shop of Paris. I wished to re
cline at full length in cushioned in
valid chair with pictures about tme;
and sumptuous furniture with fres-
coed walls and gilded arches above
me, and vistas of Corinthian col
umns stretching far before me
with perfumes of Araby to intoxi-
cate my senses, and the slumbreus
drone of distant noises to sooth me
to sleep. At the end Of an hour l
would wake up regretfuliy: and find
my face as smooth and as. soft as an
infants. Departing, I would lift
my hands above that BARRIERS head
and say, "Heaven bless you, my
son!'
So we searched high and low for
a BARRIERS shop. We entered one,
and / wanted to be shaved. The
barber inquired where my room
was I said, never mind where my
room was, wanted to be shave
there, on the spot. The doctor
said he would be shaved also. Then
there was an excitement among
these two BARRIERS! There was
wild consultation, and forwards a
hurrying to and fro and a feverish
gathering up of razors from obscure
places and ransacking for soap
Next they took us into little
shabby back-room; they got two
ordinary sitting room chairs and
placed us in them, with our, coats
on. My old, old dream Of bliss
vanished into thin air!
sat bolt upright, silent, sad, and
solemn. One of the wig making
villains lathered my face for ten ter
rible minutes and finished by plas-
tering a mass of suds into nv
mouth. l expelled the nasty stuff
with strong English expletive aud
said, s'Foreigner, beware!' Then
this outlaw strapped his razor on
his boot, hovered over me ominons-
ly for six fearful seconds, and then
swooped down upon me like the
genius of destruction. The first
rake of his razor loosened the very
hide from my face and lifted me out
of the chair. Istormed and raved,
and the other boys enjoyed it
Their boards are strong and thick.
Let us draw the curtain over this
harro wing scene. Suffice it that
submitted, and went through with
the cruel infiiction Of shave by a
French barber; tears of exquisite
agony coursed down my cheeks,
now and then, but survived. Then
: the incipient assassin held basin of
, water under my chin and stopped
its contents over my face. and into
my bosom, and down the back of
my neck, with a mean pretense of
washing away the soap and blood.
He dried my features with a towel,
and was going to comb my hair, but
l asked to be excused. said, with
whitening irony, that it was sufficient
to be skinned-I declined to be
scalped.
1 went away from there with my
handkerchief about my face, ana
never, never, never desired to dream
of palatial Partisan barber shops any
more. The truth is, as / believe l
have since found out, that they
have no barrier shops worthy of the
name, in Paris-and no BARRIERS,
either, for that matter. The impos-
tor who does duty as a barber brings
his pans and napkins and imple-
ments of torture to your residence
and deliberately skins you in your
private apartments. All, I have suf-
fered, suffered, suffered, here in Par
is, but never mind the time is COM
ing when I shall have a dark and
bloody revenge. Some day Pari-
sian barber will come to my room to
skin me, and from that day forth,
that barber will never be heard of
mere.
MARK TWAIN.