Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-03-06

AAouuJ NOiuulto- OChCI-DOohos
Dickens is going to Paris to read.
Men who dot the i's-Pugilists.
The pale of society-The blondes.
| A man "full of promise"-A godfather.
Milwaukee is to have an Irish daily
paper.
| Milwaukee beer has come down TO So. so
barrel
| Tom Thumb is going to Australia for a
year.
| The science of sorrow-Sighchology.
Burglars are called moonlight mech
anics.n
Rolling sto;k-Capital invested in bowl
ing alleys.
What is the form Of an escaped parrot
A POlIygone.
A post-mortem Opening
dead letter.
Nevada has had shower of fish-in
anticipation of Lent.
Young people who lisp are requested TO
say Miss Myth Smith.
Why is a man half asleep like twice
sixl Because he is a dose-in.
The latest woman in Philadelphia keeps
a lager beer saloon and weighs 600.
A Nevada paper says that some of the
streams of that State have "brook trout
over four feet long"
A queer man-the baker, who kneads
much, and yet sells everything he kneads
himself.
1t is loan ly here, as the sentimental
pawn-broker's daughter said of her fathers
shop.
A clergyman in Hartford is going TO
preach on chignons from the text, ''The
glory of a woman is her hair.
Let us remove temptation from the
path of youth, y as the frog said when he
plunged into the water, upon seeing a boy
pick up stone.
The late Admiral Stewart said: 81
never lost but one tooth in my life; it
ached, and pulled it out with a bullet
mould, aboard ship, ina gale Ofwind."
Theodore Hook was once punning on
names, and gentleman named Dunlop
deGed him to pun on his name ooh,
said Hook, Sop off half the name and it
is done" (Dun.)
s'Seven up had such fascination for
Cincinnatian that he din't find out that
his clothes were on fire from the stove until
he was burned above the waist.
To distinguish himself from the rest of
the community, one of the signers to a
call published in Missouri paper, desig-
mates himself as ga Tax-paye
Mrs. Bradwell, of Chicago, is sadly
| discouraged. She states her case thus: l
cannot be notary public because l am
| married, and | cannot be an attOrney-at-
law because am q woman!
A little three year old girl recently as
tOnished her mOther-whO attempted to
correct her-by motiOning her away with
a chubby little hand and scornfully say
ing, "ShoO, fly, don't bodder mel"
An eccentric New Yorker insists in car
rying his money in his hat, and several
other New Workers want TO know who
he is.
| Beecher says the thirteenth chapter Of
first Corinthians is the most perfect des-
cription of gentleman that was ever
written or thought of.
| An Atlanta court, having been long
troubled by suit fer the recovery of two
mules and a wagon, a lOcalpaper suggests
that one mule be given to the court, the
other to the lawyers, and harness to the
constablcs.
cit is a sad moment in life,n said
Cynic, "'when you find that love, glory,
happiness, are altogether, not worth a
good cigar" It's sadder moment still, -
replied his friend, ''when you find that
the cigar itself is bad"
| Doubtful Gender-A clergyman, at a
funeral, during the service, said to the
chief mourner: sis it brother or q sis
ter 2" He received the puZzling
answer: ''Neither; it is only cousin.
| A man died at Winterset, Iowa, few
days ago, under peculiar circumstances.
A vigilance committee took him to the
river to duck him, when he escaped from
them, went under the ice and was
drowned.
Among the ponderous ladies present al
the fat mems ball, in New York, on
4 GNGliluH. NtIC MISS lnDUN, MIS-.
Turner, and Miss McQuade, all of Boston,
and weighing together 1,267 pounds. Sc
says the Sun.
In the last illness of the witty George
Coleman, the doctor, being later than the
time appointed, apologized to his patient,
saying that he had called to see a man
that had fallen down a well. ''Did he
kick the bucket, DOCTOR groaned Cole
man.
One Of the Piute Indians predicts an
other flood speedily, 'like the one eigh-
teen hundred and seventy years ago, when
it rained forty days and nights, and all
the people got IN the big boat built by Co
lumbus."
At Trinity Church, New York, the or
ganist treated Prince Arthur to ''GOd Save
the Queen" The lesson for the day was,
''Put not your trust in Princess which
the choir boys intolIod with i'll suppressed
miTth.
| A Waterbury Conn youth, repent
ant, but incOherent, over his dissipation,
signed the following pledge; 81 solemnly
promise to abstain from the use of all in
toxicating beverage, otherwise than as 9
drink, and profanity unless prescribed by
| physician, at least four times day, ex-
cepting cider.
''Your hand annOys me exceedingly,
said the Prince of La Roche Suryon to a
talkative person who was sitting near hin
at dinner, and who was constantly suiting
the action to the word. 'lndeed, my
lord, " replied the gabbler, eve are so eX-
tremely crowded together that | do moi
know where to put my hand" 'Put il
on your mouth, said the prince.
| A Washington correspondent says that
while the toilette of the American ladies
at the receptions is quite as costly, it car
not be said to be as elaborate or far
fetched as that of their European sisters
| The dresses of these foreigners are usually
made up of trimmings. The eye is be
wildered and lost in the multiplicity o
lOunces, fringes, laces, ribbons, and al
those things which, in moderation, ought
to be dear to every wOman's heart.
This notice is printed at the bottom o
the play bills at Booths Theater: ''Spec
tators are requested to remain seated unit
the close of the play, as the noise made il
departing, by the impatient few, mars th,
pleasure of the more intellectual persons
in the audience, who wish TO witness tn
completion of the performance" Th'
Impatient few are supposed to stay a
home nowadays, for every one remains
| quietly seated until the curtain falls upOI
Hamlct's dying words. Or is it possible
that the impatient few remain agains
their natural desire, for the sake of bein:
classed with 'fhe more intellectual par
| of the audiences
A genius has discovered that submttin!