The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-08-13
WIT AND WIsDOM.

Why are the pimples on drunkSSd's
face like the cuts in a London paper
They are Illustrations of Punch.
A veteran was relating bis exploits to
q crowd Of boys, and mentioned having
been in five engagements. That's no
thing. broke in q little fellow my sister
Sarsh's been engaged eleven times.
II depends ruch upon how we get into
trouble, whether il will be very Disagree,
able or endurzble. Jonahs-ai Paul we're
both in a storm. The first got in by dis
obedience, and found il oil but ingMfsrn-
bic; the other was in the path Of duty, and
found it pleasant. The angels Of God stood
by him and the everlastings arms were
beneath him.
Jimmy, my boy, take these eggs to the
store, and if you can't get quarter bring
them back The boy went as directed, and
came back, saying, Father, il takes me to
make trade. They all wanted 'em at forty
cents, but / screwed them down to twenty
five.
think, said Mr.. Bronson Alcott, once
in conversation, that when man lives on
beef be becomes something like an Ok If
be eats mutton be begins to look fsheepish
and if be eats pork may he not grow to be
swinish? That may he, said DR.. Walker,
Of Cambridge, but when . man lives ON
nothing but vegetables. | think 1he's aptto
be pretty small potatoes -
In one Of our sabbath schools moe hong
since the question was asked, Who was
the strongest man After much ineffect.
ual attempt at answering. BY the class, the
teacher said Samson. Whereupon one
little codger asked, Is Samson stronger nor
Mike McCoOlp This is equal to Bob
Young's attempts TO explain to bis class
the state Of things in the Temple when
Christ made a..scourgeifOf small cords and
drove the money changers out. You rec,
said Bob. they had a a''whole lot Of things IN
the church for sais. Oh, yes, said little
Sam, Just like we had in our church OuOe.
Bob is down on fairs in churches now.
A case Of negro aristOcracy came or IN
the town Of Stanton, Va, recently. One
Of the Northern schoolsma' ANS, who are
there employed in teaching the freedmen.
told sprightly negro girl that she must
not call the woman with whom she lfTMf'
mistress that she was AZ good as anybody.
Pretty soon the girl asked her teacher what
business she followed before coming So1Ih
to teach. Was a bonnet maker. WAN the
reply. Well said the girl, gAthsrinR Nm
her books and making for the door. I'm
not goin' to 'sociate wid you any lonadF
you say l is ekil to my mistress, and aha
don't 'sociate wid bonnet makers
A Southern Judge refused to aoosut IA
plea Of newly appointed Juror thnt NM
was not a freeholder, on the ground thaA
be had kept bachelors hall six month.
and no man could keep bachelors hall thnt
length Of time'who had not dirt anounk m
bis room to make him . freebolder.
An engineer recently, at Toledo, ran
over man, and, like Rachel Of old. re-
fused to be comforted He exclaimed. with
melting pathos, That's the eighth man rv.
killed, but this is the worst case Of all. He
was big, fat man. and be- mHssed mg ss-
gtHe up 20.
A "big Indian strayed away from his
camp and got lost. Inquiring his way
back, be was asked, NIndian lost Z" s'No,s
said he, disdainfully, "Indian no lost
sgxam lost" Striking bis breast hs OK,
lsimed, "Indian herel'
An Irish barrister, when be first dom;-
he'd in Liverpool was troubled with 'niver a
rras1 farthing' and once upon time be
'escribes bis poverty rs follows: When I
V's in Liverpool l was in perfect RAGS. the
"illest hole in my shirt was the end /
~'uck my bead through, and bad 10 have
hir, my only shirt, washed ~ the dozen,
ar it was in twelve pieces.
A LITTLE boy Of three years. Who has
brother Of three months. gave as q res-
-ou for the lattsr's good conduct ,"Bsby
DOESN'T cry te&s because he dosen4> Dir
any water, and be can't @Y MIL E