Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-01-07
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

SOMETHING STUNN1Na-A slungshot
GIRLS say that men are covet.us set.
WHAT word contains all the letters p
The alphabet.
THE policies of the Washington are
libeval as to occupation.
WHAT tent would It be well if we could
all dwell inS--Con-tent.
WHEN DRAFT passes through bank
does II give the clerks a coldP
"IF you beat me, III call out the
soldiers" as the drum said.
THE evils from which a morbid man
suffers most arc those that don't happen
The premium lazy man does all his
reading in autumn, because the season
turns the leaves,
WHY Is a lawyer like sawycrf Be
cause, whichever way he moves, down
must come the dust
IT is noted in New York as para
doxical fact that the recent fat mems ball
was slimly attended
SPEAKING Of the recent holidays, n
Nevada paper says Pinfeathers with a
little meat attached, cost q dollar" 1t al.
luded TO chickens.
A SOUTHERN paper suggests clean nap.
kins to saloon keepers in this way: NAP.
kins can't be made TO run a week without
getting wearied"
SoME of the Bostonans say they are
usually gratiiied at receiving specimens of
New Hampshire granite, but they would
prefer not to have them come packed In
butter. .rE HH.
A PfTTsBUHeH thief who. had been
shop lifting, when asked whether he had
anything to say, replied that he had taken
the goods, hut had Intended TO return them
after few days, and 'iRstonish the pro.
prictT."
SAID nm astronomer to n bright.eyed girl,
when talking of rainbows: "Did you ever
see lunar bow, miss" al have seen
beaux by moonlight, sir, If that's what
you mean," was the shy rejoinder.
AN old lady bought shroud for her
husband in Norwich, Conn, the other
day, remarking that he was not dead vet,
or particularly ailing, but she "didn't
think she should ever be able to buy IL so
cheap again.
SILENCE in the court room, there"
Numbered police magistrate, the other
morning; "the court has already com
mltted four prisoners without being able
to hear word of the testimony"
A LITTLE Sabbath. school scholar said
she couldn't help laughing to think how
astonished Goliah must have been when
the stone from David's sling hit him, as
she didn't believe that such thing ever
entered his head before.
A WRITER on paupcrism spoke of the
great number of persons reduced to poy-
erty by the mysterious decrees ofProyi-
dence," and had the pleasure of reading
III print about the mysterious decrease
of provisions"
A FRENCH chemist has invented fluid
which will be found extremely valuable
| by swindling debtors A man who gives
his creditor prOmissory note moistens
the paper with the fluid, and n month
atterward nothing remains of il but lit.
tie dust.
LIFE INSURANCE, known TO be a Judi.
cious and profitable investment of funds,
has also come TO be regarded In the light
OF Il moral obligation, by such persons as
have given the subject Investigation and
reflection; and many OF these men are
about to take policy in the Washington
Life insurance Company of New York
DEMONSTRATING an appointment to
lady and disappointment TO a tailor,
and cross directing them. Paving your
rent punctually on quarter day to your
landlord, and being dis,rained on the
next day by his landlord. Abusing per.
son whom you have never seen, to a
stranger, who quietly observes that he is
the man. ....
AN Incorporated society hired a man TO
blast rock, says Mark Twain, and he was
punching powder into hole with a crow.
bar, when premature explosion followed,
sending the man and crowbar out of sight.
Both came down again all right; and the
man went to work again directly. But,
though he was gone only fifteen minutes,
they docked him FOR lost time.
A PORTLAND shoemaker, who had long
been in love with pretty widow, but had
never dared to mention it, met her on the
street. and blurted out, al beg pardon,
Mrs. -, hut want to marry you have
loved youa long time. lam (here he gave
bus name, &c), and you can take week
TO inquire about me, and you can sec me
whenever you wish" With this he left
her to consider and speedy marriage
was the result
A RICHMOND girl hinted to gentleman
that her thimhle was nearly worn out, and
asked what reward she would receive for
her industry. He made answer next day
by sending her new one, with the fol-
lowing lines;
seud thimblo fer fingers nImhle
Which hope will iit when You try t.:
1t VIII last you long, If it's half as strong
AS inc hiht which you gave mo to buy It.