The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1870-05-11
TEN DOLLARS A HUG.
A story of Stolen Sweetness !.

A good story is always in, order,
and is always an item. We% have
Just heard one on a northern Iowa ba,
sis. A few weeks ago. SO the story
goes. a prominent farmer in Hardin
county, who appears to have a good
deal of red blood in his rusty carcass,
called ut his neighbors house when
the neighbor himself wasn't at home.
But Mrs. neighbor was there, and
gave Mr., Lusty u generous welcome,
Now the lady was fat and fair to
look upon, and it so happened that
of all other kind of females, this was
the very sort the deacon-for deacon
he was-liked the best. From a child,
the desire to hug fat females had
| been the thorn in the deacon's flesh,
and now here was the temptation enti-
cingly put before him. The eye KIM
died as it looked, and the brave right
arm ached to crook itself about the
yoluptuous form of the unconscious
and innocent temptress. And crook
it did-suddenly and lovingly. But
early on its way it found griei. The
struggling captive was not hungry for
hugs outside of the family, was not
that kind of a woman, and soon the
deacon discovered it. Furst the argu-
ment of sharp finger nails, and next,
the fragments of Il bread tray broken
over his head, gave the old fellow n
suspicion that the stolen sweets were
not as sweet as they ought to be. and
finally a vigorous dig in the liver from
,tor.o 1anlr n0nr,oal HIM f'Nof dis
lance more than lent enchantment to
that particular enchantress-So he
let her 90, and sic o o let him go
with all the blessings and other loose
articles she could bestow upon his no
BILE, but retreiting form. |
Soon came the husband home, and
in his indignant ear was the woetul
story told. 1t was more than 4 hus-
bands human nature could bear. He
had bcen introduced to him. and SO
he felt free TO go and settle with him.
lie went, he saw, he cussed. The
Deacon, knowing he was in Tor it,
took the shortest and most pious way
out. owned that he had gone a little
way astray, that he had coveted his
peishor's wife, that he did think he
weuld like to give her just II good
hug, that he had gently tried to OBJ
tain the one hug aforesaid, but when
he found out she had none to spare,
he didn't try any more, and now like
an honest nan and gooJ neighbor,
he was ready to pay the damages and
make it even. The neighbor, not Ii
king to be hard on a friend, smoth-
cred his wrath, put his pistol back in
his pocket, and said that was right
he liked to hear 4 mar talk business,
The outrage was finally compromis-
| ed by the grace of money, the deacon
suggesting and the husband acquiecing
that there was no use splitting blood
for so small a matter. After the
debate upon the proper price of hugs,
it was agreed that SO was about right
where upon the deacon gave the out
ragged husband his note for that
amount, when peace was again spoken
between them. But the note was not
money Mr.. Husband thought he
would trade it off for corn. and so he
went to another nei2hbor n of the
best men living, as we personally
know, and tried TO strike such abargin
The MAJ with the cOrn had heard the
story, and didn't want the note. So
the holder had to seek another market
He happened to think he wanted a
shovel pillow. He went to Edora, found
the pillow, the owner of it glad to ex-
change it for the note, knowing as he
did, that the deacon was good for ten
dollars But when lie presented the
note for payment, the paper wasn't
honored. The deacon fatty refused
to pay it, pleading as his reason the
want of consideration. The holder
swears he will sue On it, and have the
money yet. The plain question in
suit will be, has a hug a commercial
values it worth any thing, or isn't
it? And iii is of no value, will it be
proved hat part of a hug is worth
ten dollars? The hug loving part of
the world will breathlessly await the
decision of the Court.