The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-25
NIit an6 Nntllur /.


A "Quad', "A party of
ecmpositors quarrelng for fiat copy"
- The child that cried tor an hour
didn't get it.
- PrinterI pay an iuk.'em tax.
Shoe, fly.
A Scotch centenarian has Just
left off the use OF tobacco because it
tends to shorten life.
---- Never lean on the world. for If
Won de the world will jump aside and
you will get tumble.
"A wag proposes to publish new
paper calling The Comet with an or
ig;nal tail every week.
"Wriie me as one who loves his
feilow-men," as the cannibal said to
the missionary.
A young lady in IlIint is recent
IL killed a skunk with a butcher-knife.
She says the battle is not always to
the strong.
- An old topper ad1refses his bot
tie thus:
.s11s very strange that you and I
Together cannot pull;
For you are full when l am dry,
And dry when / am full.
look here, Jim there's 4 hole
knocked out ut THIS bottle yon gave
me- Why, not at al, there's hole III
IL now Ifit Was knocked out. how
could IL be tllere?'
- 1t is u very pleasant thing to see
the roses and lilies upon lady's
check, but very bad sign To see
Young mans face break out in bius-
SONS.
- Imagine the feelings of the poet
who wrote his departed love. "Wp
will hallow her grave with our tears"
when the tipsy printer set 1t mp. I'VE
will harrow her grave with our steers.
a public meeting was dissolved
In Paris. because one OF the speakers
compared member OF the Cabinet to
Judas Iscarint. In this country such
comparison would be very hard on
Judas.
- A boy in a country school was
reading the following sentence: 'The
1 Clubhouse isa land. mark by day and
a beacon by night" and read 1t thus
1rhe lighthouse is land lord by day
and q deacon BY night"
A little schoolboy ont West pre-
sented his teacher the following note
frum home as an excuse tor tartint IS
.Baby cross Biscuit TO bake Had no
Baken Powders the hound upset the
cotf'y Pot the cat licked in tile Milk and
ct up late Excuse.
MA, iii should die and 90 to
heaven should | wear my mVire anti
Que Dress"
mo. my love. we can scarcely ex-
pect to wear the attire of this world
II the next"
.Then mamma, how would the an
gels find out that belonged to The
best society"
-"Peter what are you doing to
that boy ?" said schoolmaster. He
wanted to know ii you fake ten from
seventeen how many will remain; 50 |
took ten of his apples tn show him. and
now he wants me 70 give them back. y
sWell, why don't YOU do it them
nCoz, sir. he would theI. forget how
many is lett.
Since the story has been told oi
how Judge Breckenridge married a girl
whom he saw jump over 4 raii-fence
With a pail on her head, all The girls in
Orange county. New York. are said So
grnd their tine IN watching the ,ad;
anil whenever they see a ca rage APP
preaching with man in it. they seizi
their pals and go for fence.
An apothecary boy was latelt
s.nt to leave at one house a box OF pill
and at another six live fowls. CoDiits-
ed on the way, he lett the pills whelf
the fowls should have gone, and tIe
fowls In The pill place. The folks wis
received the fowls were astnHisnrd ~
railing the accompanying direction
"Swaliow one every two hours"
- town clerk IN Illinois. who
ma | recently given young man mar
rage ieenee. received from HIM til,
following note: "Sir: 81 will send
YOU the licenee that. you gave NE e.
get married with and state that wa,
NOT married for this reason because
tho girl whose nome Is on this papel
went back on ME because she coult
MT another fellow his name is Georg'
I mes sand them % you can give hin
/ .ense for her but be sure and get YOU
{. sor so dsiH.- No more at present
u t believe nae your most hart broker
Joseph Miller.