The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1870-01-28
HOW WV. MCKINLEY SUFFERED.
Bv JOHN QUILL.

do not vouch for the truth or originality
of this sad tale OF Voc. 1t was related to
me by the victim, IT. VIM. Mckinley, one
evening upon the front platform of horse
car:
IL SUPPOSE" said Mr.. Mckinley, "tlat I
am tho most unfortunate man that evcrlivcd.
BY rights I ought to be dead. I've got no
business on this here earth. II any other
man hal suffered tenth part of what
have, he would be Wondering in the silent
grave Us dead as Andrew Jackson.
"Sometimcs think that there must have
been some mistake made about me when l
was born. The baby who was tive real
William Mckinley must have been mixed
up somehow and snapped of for tic Wan.
dcring Jew. Nothing, you know. could
kill him, ard neither 1t can me- don't be-
licvc I'm ever going to die. Az far as am
concerned the under.skcrs might as well put
up their shutters and retire into private life.
Id just like to know what in tho name Of
common sense is going to choke me off
There isn't anything in this created world
can happen to me that hasn't happened.
III give you an instance. Just a little
account Of tho accidents that occurred upon
one short journey, and rs that's the way 1t
las been ever since began to breathe, you
can judge whether anything is likely to re-
ducc nc to insrinlatc rrnn,inx.
About fifteen years ago started across
the plains for California I was to leave
Philadelphia by M afternoon tSain, but the
man who brought my trunk to the depot got
there too late, and missed the train. When
paid him he went right down to police
nlan, and had Inc arrested for giving him
counterfeit half dollar.
Twas in jail three weeks, and caught the
black small pox. When recovered, sitter
the lapse Of three months, was acquitted.
In the meantime my trunk had disappeared
with my money. borrowed some more
cash. you observe, and got in tho cars.
We hadn't gone more than twenty miles
before lost my ticket. and the conductor
raid he would have to put me of. lie stop.
ped the cars, snd in stepping down I fell
and broke my nose upon cross.tic. I pull
led my handkerchief out to stauncli the
blood, and tho ticket fell to the ground. 1t
l,ad been in my pocket all the time. The
train had just started; ran for it distance
Of twenty yards, when came across one of
those catllc.guards in the track, and natu
rally. Of course, I fell in and broke my leg.
I lay there for while. and at Inst deter.
mined to make an effort mud get out Just
Ms l had placed ono hand on the T rail,
along comes another train, and cuts my
thumb Off ut the second joint But some.
body saw nc, and picked INC ap md put me
on tho train.
We got along well enough until when
within forty miles Of Pittsburgh, 4 switch
happened to be misplaced, and tho cars rolled
down hig'. emhankmcnt into the river,
where half the people were drowned, AID !
was fishcd out by man WHO ran boat.
hook through my pants, anl tore them
frightfully-thc only pair I had, too. %Igot
20 wet that caught cold, and was lsid up
in bid for six weeks In hotel at Pittsburgh.
The night before my intended departurcs
thief broke into my room and stole my only
pair of pants, with my pockctboOk. Of
course couldn't pay my hoard, and the
landlord kicked ME into the street with moth.
ing on but my shirt. 1t was dark night.
and an old lady coming frUm church mis-.
took me for ghost. and got frightened into
spasms, which continued until she died,
while policeman came along and arrested
me for indecent exposure.
Twas put into Jail, where the rats bit my
bare legs SO badly that they swclled up a.
big Is tree box, and was sent to tho hos.
pi,al where they put mo Ivy mistake, in the
nmpu.ating war'i. and ssurgcon came along
and sawed my leg off, despite my protesta.
tons. lie afterwards apclogizcd for tho
error, but it was too late to do INC much
good.
Aftera while I got more money from
home and proceeded with wooden lex to
81. Louis. On our way down the river from
Cincinnati on the steamboat. I cllokcd with
q bone while ut dinner. and doctor on
board had To slit my windpipc to get 1t out,
and then he made biundcr, and took out
tho wrong bouc, 80 that lost nearly oil Of
my voice; aud the very next day while I
was in my berth over the engine room, the
boiler exploded, and not only scorched my
countcnsncc oil out Of shape, but blew me
onto the Kentucky shore, where was mis-.
taken for sn abolition,st, and after being
coated with tar and feathers, was treated to
IN uncomfortable ride on = rail by . mob,
who gave me twenty -four hours to leave the
State. -.. ..u'.ntfa : zn'qfT
When I got to st. Louis the irst man /
saw came up to me and says:
lis your name Mc0inlcyI" rr
1T u.s." said I. ......, w. i
civilian NcGinley" -.
eyes" .,,
"Wcii, I arrest you for tho murder Of
John Smith," said this preposterous man.
Iafterwards ascertaincd that man with
my na,nc Ind committed horrible murder
about six weeks before, and tho st. Louis
police bad been informed that he would q.
.:,,o &, ,,,o~ ritv ~ fhe train I cana an II