Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-02-02
RUNNING FOR OFFICE.
Philosophical Reflections OF One
VINO Tried IA.


time. Everybody is glad to know tbst
you are running. You are just the man
that ought to have that office, they say,
and while they do not generally msdile
in politics, they will 90 to the ward or
district meeting this time and get elected
delegate to the nominating convention
just to give you q lift. OF course you
lift your hat and inquire what bar in the
immediate vicinity keeps the best liquors.
Ysur friends are not particular, so you
move on the nearest one, and your
friends are so anxious to make votes for
you that they take the liberty Of calling
up oil their scquaintances in sight
to join in the support Of the
newly. Aedged candidate. On entering the
saloon, and venturing to glance into the
massive mirrors, you are surprised to see
that three friends have increased to
dozen and q holt, iscluding several men
that you feared would vote against you.
Ten Of them call for whisky straight, six
of them take sugar in theirs, two coll for
brandy, and the candidate, of course,
wishes to keep cool head, SO he takes
soda.
Up 20 the nineteen glasses; my re-
spects, gentlemen" says the candidate;
" Success to yoa, old fellow-here's to
yer health" shout the eighteen, and down
your health goes in eighteen throats, and
down goes FIVE dollar bill, for which
you receive in change about fifteen cents.
The crowd is too polite to hang around,
so the most Of them slide out while
you are waiting for your change
And if you remain a few min
utes you will see half of them coming
back with the other candidate who looks
as triumphant as you did only few
minutes ago. He is delighted with his
progress, and you say to yourself that
them fellows are welcome to all they can
get out of him, and that he is Welcome to
oil be makes off them. Ysu are certain
of their votes anyhow. The five dollar
business is very popular, and can be re-
peated thirty or forty times per day with
great effect, especially if you have more
money than your opponent and feel
willing to spend it in that way.
A weeks close electioneering in all the
various wards, especially if you have
kissed all the babies and worn out few
pairs of gloves in shaking hands, will
convince you, if you keep list of your
avowed friends, that your opponents are
not much in your way, and that the pros
poets will justify you in spending more
money, even if you have to pawn your
last bulls-eye watch to raise the stake
At the end of two weeks you find by
reading the list Of your friends that nine
tenths of the population are in state OF
sleepless anxiety for the day to roll
around when they can vote for you.
These are happy moments. You begin
to feel settled and to make some plans
for life, and to debate whether to put on
style and go into fashionable society,
where you naturally belong, or live plain,
save your money and take trip to Eu-
rope at the end of your term in office.
Feeling that you are about to become a
man of consequence and power in the
county, you come out of your shell and
assume an sffable, glad-to-see-you kind
of air with all classes, and even bow
patronizingly to people with whom you
have no acquaintance; but, Of course,
the reflection that they must soon know
you justi6es the familiarity in advance.
As the Convention approaches, your
chances, your friends and your expenses
multiply with fearful rapidly, and you
never before met so many men who
wanted to borrow two dollars. But of
course man who expects to be well fed
public servant can afford to be liberal
with his less fortunate fellow beings, 'and
he shells out with reckless indiffer.
ence to the nominal value Of money.
The Convention comes. With high
hopes you look upon the able and
dignfed body that is to put you before
the people as their unanimous choice.
Some of the delegates, once SO warm and
open-hesrted, may appear little shy,
but they are all right and will come to
the rescue at the proper time. Some of
them may have promised to vote for
another candidate on the first ballot just |
as a compliment, nothing more; then
they will come to you and fight for you
until the Gulf of Mexico freezes over
but what you shall be nominated. Bat !
alas, for human hopes. 1t was ever thus.
Too many complimentary" votes had
been promised your opponent for your
good, and you don't get enough of esm-
plimentsry votes or any other kind.
Your opponent walks over the track on
votes, and you nsver
reach the distance stand. This is not a
happy period in ones existence; but you
have time left and few friends to explain
why you wasn't nominated: First-You
didn't get enough complimentary votes
on the first ballot. Second-Your oppo-
nent got too many, aud they all stuck.
complimentary Votes went
over to the enemy too soon, and, some
how, never came back. There are forty