Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-02-03
Mark Twain Badly Frightened.

WatClcu III Will luoCiudtiuS CJCo n
male glow stole over the thing; gradually its
cloudy folds took shape-an arm appeared,
then legs, then body, and last great
sad face looked out of the vapor. Stripped
of its tilmy housings, naked, muscular and
comely, the majestic Cardiff giant loomed
above me!
All nv misery vanished-for child
might know that no harm could come with
that benignant countenance. My cheerful
shirts returned at once, and in sympathy
with them the gas famed up brightly
again. Never lonely outcast was SO
dad to welcome company as was to greet
the friendly giant. said;
"Why, is that nobody but your Doyou
know have been scared to death for the
last two or three hours? lam almost hon.
estly glad to see you. / wish l had chair
-, Here, here, don't try to sit down on
that thing"
But it was too late. He was in it be.
fore | could stop him, and down he went
Il never saw chair shivered 80 in NY
life.
"Stop, stop, you'll ruin ev-."
Too late again. There was another
crash, another chair was resolved into its
original elements.
"Confound it, haven't you got any judg-
ment at all? Do you want to ruin all the
furniture on the placer Here, here, you
petrifed fool"
But it was no use. Before l could ar
rest him he had sat down on the bed, and
it was melancholy ruin.
"Now what sort of a way is this to do?
First you come numbering about the place
bringing a legion of vagabond COLLINS
with you to worry me to death, and then,
when overlook an indelicacy of costume
which would not be tolerated any
where except in a flrst-class
theater, you repay by wrecking all
the furniture you can find to sit down on
And why will you? You damage your
self as much as you do me- You have
broken off the end of your spinal column
and Uttered up the floor with chips off
your hams till the place looks like mar
Bile yard. You ought to be ashamed of
yourself; You are big enough to know
better"
"Well, I will not break any more fur
niture, but what am to dor l have not
had chance to sit down for century"
and the tears came into his eyes.
Poor devil" said, should not have
been so harsh with you. And you are an
orphan, too, no doubt. But sit down on
the floor here-nothing else can stand
your weight-and besides, we cannot be
socable with you away up there above
me; / want you down where l can perch
on this high counting house stool, and
gossip with you face to face"
So he sat down on the floor, and lit
pipe which I gave him, threw one of my
red blankets over his shoulders, inverted
my sitz-bath on his head, helmet fashion,
and made himself picturesque and COM
Portable. Then he crossed his ANGLES,
while renewed the fire, and exposed the
flat, honey combed bottoms of his prodig-
ious feet to the grateful warmth
"What is the matter with the bottom of
your feet and the back Of your legs, that
they are gouged up SOP"
"Internal chilblains-I caught them
clear up to the top of my head, roosting
out there in Newell's farm. But love the
place l love it as one loves his old home.
There is no peace for me like the peace l
feel when am there"
We talked along for half an hour, and
then noticed that he looked tired, and
spoke of it,
"Tiredg" he said. "Well l should
think SO. And now I will tell you all
about it, since you have treated me SO well.
| am the spirit of the petrifed man that lies
across the street there in the Museum. ! am
the ghost ofthe Cardiff giant. can have
no rest, no peace, till they have given that
poor body burial again. What was the
most natural thing for me to do, to make
men satisfy this wishY Terrify them into
it!-haunt the place where the body lay
SO | haunted the Museum night after
night / even got other spirits to help me.
But it did no good, for nobody ever came
to the Museum at midnight. Then it oc.
Cured to me to come over the way and
haunt this place little. l felt that il !
ever got hearing l must succeed, for /
had the most efficient company that per-
dition could furnish. Night after night
we have shivered around through these
widowed halls, dragging chains, groaning,
whispering, tramping up and down stairs,
till to tell you the truth, am almost worn
out. But when saw light in your room
tonight / reused my energies again and
went at 1t with deal of the old freshness.
But / am tired out-entirely tagged out.
Give me, ! beseech you, give me some
hopep
/ lit of my perch in bust of excite
ment, and exclaimed:
"This transcends everything !-every-
thing that ever did occur Why, you poor
laundering old fossil, you have had all
your trouble for nothing-you have been
haunting plaster cast of yourself-the real
Cardiff Giant is in Albany! Confound it,
don't you know your own remains?"
never saw such an eloquent look Of
shame, of pitiable humiliation, overspread
countenance before.
Honestly, is that true?"
:" AS true as am sitting here"
He took the pipe from bis mouth and
laid it on the man.el, then stood irreso-
lutte moment, (unconsciously, from old
habit, thrusting his hands where his panta-
looms mock shOrld have hoep and mod