Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1870-12-07

| IONgtT get any tIuot
A Milwaukee woman drowned herself be-
| cause her husband wouldn't 90 TO theater
with her one evening.
A Connecticut girl let horse take an ap-
pie from her mouth, aud lost her nose. She
don't blame the horse.
Red seems to be favorite color in this
placc. We like to see it on the checks and
| lips, but not on the nose.
An article is going the rounds of the pa
| pers, headed, "a girl possessed OF the devil,
as il it was something new.
| How few are our real wants, and how easy
| it is to satisfy them. Oar imaginary ones
are boundless and insatiabe-
"Here is the hannisters, but where are the
stairs, as the tipsy chap said when he felt
around the bedstead in the dark.
Nothing is certain" is u common apho
| rism; but if nothing Is certain, how can 1t
be certain that nothing is certain?
New York merchants have begun to cut
| down their clerk salaries, the reduction be-
ing from fifteen to thirty per cent.
Under the head of Grimes and casual
| ties" rural paper mentions the fact that a
rival editor has just published book.
The weakest organ in the body should be
the mos, favored That is why many peo-
! pie should especially look after their heads
Upward OF one hundred tobacco barns
| have been burned in and around Piducah,
| KY, within the last two months, by hu h!ax
The popular drink of the young men in
our town is known as the same. 1t is
said that it never fails to produce the dcsir-
ed result.
Ellen Black was beautiful young resi-
dent of Bucks county, Pa, until last Mon
day, when she kindled her fire with coal OIL
! She is lover there, now.
Too much running about at night is very
apt to result in the penitentiary or matrimo-
nv ioung gentlemen, remember that.
! Don't hasten an adverse fate.
| A person who is too nice an observer of
| the business of others, lik, one who is too
curious in observing the movements OF bees,
! will often get stung for his curiosity.
| If YOU desire to succeed, says a cotempo-
rary, stick 10 a principle The most emi
nently successful men we know are those
who stick to both principal and interest.
1t may interest lady readers to know, on a
| fashion authority, that ''round hats have
suddenly gone out of favor with young Ia
dies, and that < psy bonnets are taking their
place.
| Beards are going out of fashion. Some
| of the young chaps with nary 4 hair on their
face can congratulate themselves that they
| needn try TO put on (h airs any more to be
| in fashion.
Three satc-robbers we're arrested in Ken
| ;ucky last week, through the Instrumental
ty of an cid lady AMI her daushter,t to whom
4 member Of thc gang had made 1 confession
just before his death.
The average weight, all the year around,
OF that portion of woman cJthes which il
supported from the waist is between ten AMI
fifteen pounds Are weak backs a wonder?
Put on suspcnders. girls
The shortest name on the roll of the newly
elected Legislature OF New Mcxico, Is Al
phonso Ferdinand Senay Gracia Francisco
Antonia Cortes Maria Gonsalvo Diego Juarez
Mestes. God save the Republic.
Women are like horses-the gaycr the
harness they have on, the better they feel.
So says an old bachelor, who was early cross
Cd in love, and afterwards went into the
pawn broking business With 4 cross eyed as
sistant.
Its remarked that nearly every one of the
women who have entered upon the practice
of medicine make the diseases of women
speciality, in most instances refusing their
services when called upon to attend other
patients.
A file of one of the Metz journals is a Gu
riou. sight. Owing to a scarcity of paper 1t
was printed one day on red placard paper,
another on blue, third on buff, and so on.
Another journal vas printed on brown pack
ing paper.
A bald headed man heard that coal oil
would make the hair grow. He tried it and
getting too near a ligated candle was trans
formed into IA temporary Fourth OF July.
There hasn'; been a hair within eunshot of
his head since.
The reign of Terror in Texas has recently
had fresh Inauguration. The danger to
life and property is now SO great that the
State papers have begun to cry out against
1t, and call for vigorous enforcement of the
laws 10y the Governor.
Evidence of breeding-for three women
to walk abreast on four foot sidewalk, and
neither of the triO to give way when they
meet fellow pedestrian. The reader is best
able to judge what kind of breeding such
conduct is evidence OF.
"Jox" wishes to inform certain young
| lady in town that venitian blinds are not
the exact thing for Sunday evening spark
| ing, unless you have one Of those lamps that
turns down, down, down, until there is no
| light left at all hardly.
How eloquent is the homcly old word fall
The flowers fall in the garden, the fruits fall
| in the orchard, the nuts fall in the woods,
| the rain falls from the clouds. the leaves fall
everywhere, and the price Of coal no you
don't, that cat of another color.
| We saw a young fellow coming down Mar
ket Street last Sunday night, under full
sail and from his great hurry We thought he
was going for doctor 1t proved howev-
er, that his girl had given him the slip, !"
and be was trying TO overhaul her-that' 8
all. Of course, he succeeded.
| The Muncie Times says Volney Wilson
says he played strategy on the potato bugs
this season. He says he planted grain of
corn in every hill Of potatoes The corn
beat the potatoes up, and the bugs, think
| ing it a cornfelj, never went near the pota-
| toes till it was too late to do them any dam
age, and he raised over four hundred bush