Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-04-07


iour foolscap pages Of fine print-ques-
lions, may remark, gotten up with such
marvellous ingenuity that the Oldest man
IN the world couldn't understand what
the most of them were driving at-quss
tons, too, that were calculated to maze a
man report about four times his actual
income to keep from swearing to lie.
| looked for loop hole, but there did
not appear to be any. Inquiry No. /
covered my case, rs generously and rs
simply as an umbrella could cover an ant
hill.
"What were your profits, in 1862
from any trade. business or vocation,
wherever carried on?"
And that inquiry was backed up by
thirteen others of an equally searching
nature, the most modest of which re-
CURED information as to whether | had
committed any burglary, or highway
robbery, or by any arson or other secret
source of emolument, had acquired prop
erty which was not enumerated in my
statement of income as set opposite to
inquiry No. /.
Ii was plain that that stranger had en-
abled me to make an ass of myself. 1t
was very, very plain, and went out aud
hired another artist. BY working on my
vanity the stranger had seduced me into
declaring an income of $4,000. BY
law, 81 900 of this was exempt from in.
como tax-the only relief | could see,
and It WAS only a drop in the ocean. AT
the legal five per cent, | must pay over
to the government the appalling sum Of
ten thousand six hundred and fifty dol
lars, income tax.
l may remark, in this place, tina: !
did not do it..
| am acquainted with very opulent
man. whose house is palace, whose Ia
bic is regal, whose OUTLAWS are enormous,
yet man who has no income, rs l have
often noticed, by the revenue returns;
and to him | went for advice in my dis
tress. He took my dreadful exhibition
of receipts, he put on bis glasses, he took
his pen, and presto! Il was a pauper !!
1t was the neatest thing that ever was.
He did it simply by deity manipulating
the bill of Deductions" He sat
down my . state, national aud municipal
taxes" at so much; my losses by ship
wreck, fire, etc." at so much; my" loss
Is on sales of real estate"-on I" live
stock sold"-on payments for rent of
homestead"-on "repairs, improvements,
interest"-on previously taxed salary
as an officer of the United States army,
navy, revenue SERVICE" and other things.
He got astonishing deductions" out of
each and every one of these matters
each and every one of them. And
when he was done be handed me the pa
per and saw at a glance that during the
year 1869 my income, in the way Of
profits, had been one thousand taUo hun.
bred and fifty dollars and forty cents.
Now" said he, "the thousand dol
lars is exempt by law. What you want
to do is to 90 and swear this document
in and pay tax on the two hundred and
fifty dollars"
while he was making this speech
his little boy Willie lifted q two-dolar
greenback out of his vest pocket aud
vanished with it, and l would bet any
thing that if my stranger were TO call
on that little boy TO morrow he would
make false return of his income.
"Do you," said [. ado you always
work up tho deductions after this fash
ion in your own case, sir?"
"Well, should say so! If it wern't
for these eleven saving clauses under the
head of Deductions, l should be beg
CARED every year to support this hateful
aud wicked, this extortiouate and tyran-
nical government"
This gentleman stands away up among
the very best of the solid men of Buffalo
the men of moral weight, Of CONNER.
cial integrity. of unimpeachable social
spotessness-and so | bowed to bis ex
ample. | went down to the revenue Of
flee, aud under the accusing eyes of my
old visitor / stood up and swore to lie
after lie, fraud after fraud, viIainy after
vilainy. until my immortal soul was
coated inches and inches thick with per.
jury and my self respect was gone forever
and ever.
But what of it? 1t is nothing more
than thousands of the highest, and rich
est, aud proudest, and most respected,
honored and courted men in America do
every year. And so don't care. am
not ashamed. l shall simply, for the
present, talk little and wear fire proof
gloves, lest l fall into certain habits ire
vocably.
STARVATION AT ST. CRoIx FAILS
On Tuesday last St. Croix Falls was
thrown into great excitement by the