Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-04-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Lranr Tmprn-sunbeams.

KlOunuS VI IOllllulnuI
SOME groce5ssshov their srifpy sand
ing their sugar ., = 4
!" CAN you return my love, my dearest
Julia ?" Certainly, ,-sir DO not want !
.I"H6RisS, mamma,, said a. little fnno-
cent, with his cut finger, hurry, It's leak.
ing" So - A. |
FoRErHouaHT and prudence both say |
insure your life. Take their advice and /
insure inNthe Washington,
MANY men nourish.a wicked contempt
for cold-,water. They hate the bucket, !
and consequently soon kick it, ~
SIZE that marfies a-man because he "a a
good match, must not be surprised II he
turn odva-lucifer. =
A JfRsEYMAN,, in reply to-the charge
that Women can do no fighting in time-of
war, says his wife docs nothing else.
P A HsTnoNIC party, who had heard
gests that the back seats must be Yery.de
sirable - =
! Tue Washington Life Insurance Com.
panyis increasing more than two thou.
sand dollars per day above sill Losses and
expenses., { =
A NBwYoRE hotel recently stertledits
| guests by putting ".mice pieb in the bill
of fare. Investigation proved that mlnce
pie was intended, -
THE Detroit Free Pres finds another
argument against hard work in the fact
that man recently died within five min
utes splitting some wood. - -
A MAN may be ever sopoor, he may be
ever SO Unfortunate, but he need never be
hard up for candles so long as he makes
light Of his sufferings. - = -
| = A DowN-EAsT paper says, in an obitu-
Iary notice, that the deceased had been
for several years director Of a bank, not
withstsading which he died Christian,
and universally respected"
A TRADRsMAN objected, the other day, to
4 receiYe from oneot his oustOmers note
at 30 days, on the ground that he might.
4 die before that~time- 'eDieP exclaimed,
the customer, who ever heard OF man
dying within 30 days" - : = =
THE following advice is from-a New
burg paper; Ptessen, young man, though
you be poor. We know a-youth who,
with only'his two hands and a erowbar,
opened q jewehy store, and now he is,
living an fine stone Tesidence-in Sing
Sing. . o.
A SMART old lady, being called into
courtas-witness, grew impatient at the
y questions put to her, and told the Judge
that she-would quit the staud, for he was
''raly enc ofNthe most inquisitive old
: gentlemen she eVersee."~
THE receipts.at the Boston Post Office
last year amounted 10 $3,133,100, most of
which was in sums of a few cents or dol
lars, antl,not one cent was lost. The
quantityof mail matter passing through
the Office has doubled within four years
HUSBAND "If I. were to lose you,
would-never be such fool as TO marry
again" Wife. If were to lose you,
would marry again directly" Husband.
"My death wonld be regretted by at least
one person" Wife. BY whom?" Hus-
band. -4AIy SUCCESSOR
E TIE Danbury, Conn, Meas of a recent
date sayss Sunday being batmy day,
the styles were brought out. Fhe most
richly dressed lady we saw is the wife of
a man-who has owed this efffcc $13 for
, nearly three years He says he cannot
, raise the money, and we believe him"
CAvENDIsH, the philosopher, Invariably
hadlaleg of mutton for his solitary din
, nerJ On one occasion he announced to
his servant that six gentlemen were to
!, dine With him on that day. What am l
to give them for dinner?" calculated the
factotunl,, in dismay; " one leg Gf mutton
won't 10 for siSgentlemen.o Then give
them sixlees of muttonp was the philo-
sophical reply. =
, THBY~are constantly making the most
, interesting discoveries of antiquities at
= Rome. Among other things lately found
at Osti3- is Il portable iron Kitchen ;
it shuts and opens; when closed, there is
one place for Goals and saucepan; when
open, the kitchen is in the form Of a star,
: radiating from this center furnace, and mt
the Gndi0f each ray is little furnace, with
places for cooking utensils.
A CLERGYMAN in certain village de-
sired the clerk to give notice that there
p would benO seryicGin the afternoon, as
he Was going to oflcatG for clerical
, brother in the vicinity. Immediately after
service, the clerk, rising up, caffed out !;
Z" ami desiredt0 give notice that there
wilLbe n0 scr1ice this afternooR,- as DR..
b is soingn fSfjng with another cler-
= gyman." Mr.. B. of course Corrected
the awkward biundor.
ITAnNEMANN, the founder of-the Ho.
mHopathic school, was one day consulted
by wealthy English lord The doctor
listened patiently to thestatement which
the patient made to him. He then took a
small viab opened it and held it under
the lords nose. Smell! Well, you are
curedR. Thc1orE asked, in Surprise,
How much do 1 awe you?" "a thou
sand ffancs," was the reply. Thclord inn
mediately pulled Out,a banknote and held
: it under the doctors nose Smell
Well, You are paidp
ANeccentric American was lately visit
ing an English nobleman, at his seat in
the south, of England Our feltnw coun-
trymsn wls in the habit of saying, "How
very appropriate !"by way of commenda-
, ton, whether dpr0p9s or not. The statu
ary ia the grounds received this comment
SO often as TO nettle the host, who deter
, mined to nonplus his guest. SO,stopping
before the family vault, and pointing to a
= figure near of General Jackson ON horse
back, he said How do you like that
statue of General Jacksen?" "How very
appropriate lawas the ready reply. "How
|, do you make chat out ?" "Oh, General
Jackson.was always at home among dead
Englishmen," was the answer. The host
= subsided.'
GENERAL PhEAsANToN used to tell an
Iamusing Indian story. He was once, while
stationed at a frontier post, surrounded by
threatening bands of Cheyennes. He
wished very much 10 negotiate-a treaty
with the Chiefs, but they were too sus-
picious or hostile to place themselves in
his power. AT last he succeeded in cap-
: turing ayoung Indian of rank, whom he
held as a hostage. One day this captive,
sullenly stalking about the fort. came upon
a soldier who, for want of better amuse-
ment, was playing with a childs jumping
jack. The savage was transfiKed with
wonder and admiration He watched the
antics Of the little figure in breathless
silence for some minutes, then tuFned and
ran past the sentinels, leaped all obstruc.
tions, and escaped from. the fort. In a
short time, however he returned, heading
deputation otchieia, who, after spending
an hour or so in wrapt' contemplation Of
the jumping jack, held a solemn council
and negotiated the desired treaty, stipu.
lating, as the most important -eonditionr
that the marvellous little toy should al
ways Tenain at.the fort. -
HERE Is pen picture of an insect, tho
original Of which, says the Cincinnati