The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-11-27
coming Star ard Catholic Messenger.
AA1 ORLEANS. SUNDAY. NOvEMBER q, ls,r.
vsrv~
WET AVID wIspoM.

- we can't hear, it amt from the lac]
as the ass said to the cornfield.
My is lamplighter like cowardl,
2t9ier1 Because he runs away from hi
lady, describing an ill-tempered man
va me never smiles but he feels ASHAMED
What is that which Adam never saw
lever possessed, and yet gave to each o
mis- childrenf Parents.
A gentleman in the country, few day
ago, sat down on hornets nest to res
himself. 1t did not take him long to rest
A Boston man has evolved from his inne]
consciousness q cOnundrum: When ia ar
original idea like clock9 When it strikes
n oae."
Swinging is said by the doctors to be
s very good exercise for PERSONS health, but
many poor wretch has come to his death
by it.
I% "Do you like Goldfish balls, Mr.. Wig
gins 2" "Ireally don't know, Miss, can't
recollect ever attending on" replied Mr..
4 w, hesitatingly.
ss The difference between a "country'' and
- "city" greenhorn is, that one would like
% know everything, and the other thinks
he can tell him.
s9 III A man with one idea is like a peddler
Who has invested all his capital in one kind
y,
D s. to everybody's nOse.
Never mind the obituary, judge" said
Montana culprit when the court became
PATHETIC in pronOuncing sentence. ,"Let's
3 the time for the funeral"
6# A Scotch county claims the champion
#Aean man, saying he insisted upon being
4 admitted to panorama at half price be-
use he has but one eye.
$ Timed meats are very plentifully i'm
74orted the perfection of this branch of
\ industry will be arrived at when We can
let the meat without the tin.
An incorrigible loafer, being taken to
nsk for his laziness, remarked, ~ tell you,
gentlemen, you are mistaken, have not a
1Azy bone in my body; but the fact is, 1
VAS born tired"
A veteran was relating his exploits to a
Fowd of boys, and mentioned having been
- FIVE engagements. "That's nothing,n
fOke in little fellow, "my sister SaraR's
zen engaged eleven times"
A gentleman who has unfortunately
roken his word, is anxious to procure
Dme cement that will repair it. The same
&ompositiOn with which some people mend
heir manners may possibly answer.
a country paper tells of smart wife
That helped her husband to- raise seventy
Acres of wheat. The way she helped him
was to stand in tue doorway and shake a
II DR.. Duncan received a severe injury from
5Betting too near something in the shape of
e cowhide, in the neighborhood of Clncin-
natl Where were you hurt, doctor 2"
said a friend; was it near the vertebrn 7" |
No, no." said the disciple of Galen, " it
was near the race-course."
In a storm at sea the chaplain asked one |
OF the crew if he thought there was any |
danger. "Oh yes," replied the sailor; If
it blows as hard as it does now, we shall all |
be in heaven before twelve o'clock to-
night" The chaplain, terrified at the ex-
preston, cried out, <" The Lord forbid :"
An inebriated individual fell down a
Eight of stairs the other night, and a passer-
by, fearing he was seriously injured, ran to
PICK him up; But the man majestically
etaggered to his feet, and in response to
NE proffered aid rOared out, "Now you jes
lemme lone. Wan no slobberin round me,
Lallus come down stairs that way"
II An Arkansas lawyer being engaged to
prosecute a suit against widow, seeing
nat he was going to be beaten, married
ne defendant, discharged her attorney,
of which was considered a
God joke; and then ran away with the ,
hole amount, which some thought was .
Ill better joke. 1
IA funny incident happened at q church
ne other Sunday new steam heating 9
apparatus was In use for the first time, and /
Ter service, one old lady, meeting an '
sder in the aisle, said, 8" That boiler isn't '
Inder our seat, is it 2" "No," was the re- v
u, "it's under the pulpit platform" f
Well" said she, " if it blows up, then we h
ali have good man to go ahead of u.s."
"A lad wishing to turn sailor, applied to v
I1e captain of vessel for a berth. The t
'&ptain, wishing to intimidate him, handed y
In piece of rope, aud said, 60 If you v
INT to make good sailor you must be c
He to make three ends to that rope" al I
ID do it," readily responded the boy t
sAere is one, and here is another-that b
sekes two. Now, here's third" and he t
Few it overheard.
"A public-house keeper of questionable .
4nesty went to a lawyer to consult him =,
out commencing an action of defamation l.
Rainst a fellow townsman. s"The scoun- -
sel," said he, has robbed me of my char ~ =,
Ter" s.Ah, has he7 Are you sure of =,
lat factf" inquired the blue-bag gentle :, -
nm, quickly, and in a sarcastic tone. off - -
b, for heavens sake let him go; for it's y,
ke luckiest thing that ever happened to a
8u !" The fellow sneaked out of the Office v, :"
Re puppy when foot is raised against +,
zm. 10 l.,
The late jeremiah Mason was once en- 81
Aged in a famous trial, in which some 81
pod Methodist brethren were concerned. C,
me morning, when the court opened, an 81
yer jealous friend of his client came to h,
i'm. and in a solemn whisper said, " Mr.. m