The Placer herald., 1870-05-28

I Z NCE Nc G r A N T.
The Fenian is Sent to the New orleans
Pie Fight---Thc Result Is Disastrous,
Financially.
ST. CHARLES HOTEL ION the G.. o. d.
New Orlanes Nav Tin

I've" Oiiaues, may lIH.
In looking over me baggage, consisting
Of box Of paper collars and blacklng
brush, this morning, to find some weapon OF
defense wild which to commit suicide or high
way robbery, or somo scch insanity, | found
this sha,e Of paper. and thought it moght
relave me mind to write ill yez. b. jabers,
am worse sbtrapped than iver before dur
ing .be whole course of me life. You will
wonder fiat the dvl was afther bringing
me away off down here among the algators,
and nagers, and other newly tiedged voters,
and that's what am going to tell yez.
Me cousin Ulisses call ed me Until bis pri-
va,e shtall in the sh,abe wan day, and un-
folded to me plan be fbich he could make
money enough to kape Us in 6hisky and
other necessities Of life all summer, at Long
Branch. He towld me there was going to
be an argument at New Orleans tor the
championship OF the world aud the balance
10 money, be,une debaler named Mace
and another named Allen. These gintlemen
we're to argue wild fisbts and that Mr.. Allen
was St. Louis gintIeman, and an intimate
friend of me cousin Ulsses, and that he
could bale the man named Mace as aisy as
We place Me cousin said, fhin he used to
haal wood into St Louis wild yoke OF stags,
be often stopped at Mr. Aliens saloon, and
he had often, in his convival moments, sane
Mr. Allen throw drunken men twice his size
outdoor wild scarcely 40 effort. ludade be
bad been the recipient OF similar marks of
regard from Mr.. Allen himself, and just
knew that be could whip the man from
across the walher, who was on y bloody
Eoglshman any way. And what me cousin
Usses wanted of me was to take all me
sphare money, aud procade to New Orleans,
and bet it on the fight.
So collected together all the money
bad cen able 10 save out OF the conscience
fund, and some that had left that ] made
selling the p 8 that me cousin signed the
Fifteenth Amendment proclamation wild,
together wild ali the money me cousin could
shpare after paying for the new farm oD the
Potomac, aud afther being provided wild
pass from me cousin, shlatlng that | WAS on
duty as special agent OF the postotce de-
parment, shtsrted for this numbering hot
country ! also had le,her Of iuthroduo-
ton to the Lieutenant Governor Of Lousi-
ana arrived here the day before thetight,
and after registering me name as "Assisht
ant President" Of the United Sbtates, | axed
where | would be apt to find the Lieutenant
Governor. The clerk in the hotel told me
if it was nager Dunn wanted. | would be
apt to find him iu Jail, as he had that day
been committed 10 Jail for five days for con
timpt Of coort. As soon as | learned that
the Lieutenant Governor was a nager, con-
cIuded to kape away from him, as nagers
somehow, are getting 100 common.
Well, cir, | couldn't axe to have any more
regard shown me- than has been shown to
me at this place. As soon as it was giner'
ally known that | was a cousin Of the Prisi.
dent. and was mesef the Assistant Prsi
dent, and that had come here as ripre.
sentative Of the Government at Washington,
and that | was going to bet lha, collateral |
had on Misbter A Hen, who was friend Of
me cousin Ulisses, | say when these facts
were gineraly promu gated, | was literally
besieged wild visitors, who seemed to vie wild
each other IS to who should do me the most
bouor, be taking me bets, and anticipating
me wishes in the way Of drinks. And spak
ing Of dri rs, allow me in this connic'ion
to call the attention Of the public to tlnid
10 vogue here, AS it were, or, more correctly
spaklug in jugs, called Louisiana rum" 1t
is beverage Indigenous to the soil, aud is
made ty running some strengthy fl I'D thro
a rectifer Of pine>tops and perslmmons. As
they say here, it is ust old pers'mmons."
Once me cousin and meself came home and
found bottle Of shtuff on the mante piece,
which we drank and went to bed. What
was our surprise to be towld in the morning
by me cousins good lady that we had been
afther drinking quart OF sventeenth-prooi
alcohol, which she had procured to make
camphor. | reminder, now, that we re
marked at the time hat Mot was real search
ing but. sir, that alcohol shouldn't be min
toned the same day wild this Louisiana rum
have made me cousins heart warm be
sending him shmall keg OF it, but it will
be only an aggravalion to him. But, as |
was saying (excuse the DEPRESSION, as the
subject of beverages is one Of paramount in
lherest to this goverumenO as was saying,
The gptlemen at New Oileans were very
kind, and took all me bets wild avidi,y The
bets were hundred on Mace to fifty on
A lien, but they said they wouldn't take ony
advantage Of mimber Of this great and good
Government, 80 they made the bets even.
gntleman from New York, named John G.
Haynan, seemed to take great interest In
me, and when there was ony body Offering 10
bet on Mace he ust advised me 10 take 1t.
Begorra, | soon bad all me money bet, and
all had left was ticket to the ground
where the fight was 10 take place. How
good a man feels when he is confident OF
success. financially. Here was |, wild all me
money better invested than as though it was
in Government bonds. Bother, because in
one short hour it would come back till me
increased, doubled, and all on account Of ju
dcous investment. hadn't doubt Of the
result. Why should IL Hadn't | acted
wild advice Of two of the best men in Anne
rica, Haynsn and me cousin Uisses. So
away we went TO the battle ground, happy
as a new postmaster.