The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-01-27
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

salmon.
To PERSONS IN DIFFIcULTY-Get out!
A Color DIFFICULT TO SEE-Bllnd-
mans buff.
VERY FAST MEN-Those who beat their
wives.
A DEAD REcKoNING-Calculat ones
funeral expenses.
ALL the profits of the Washington are
divided with the policy holders.
FASHIONABLE young ladies, like letters,
require stamps, or the males reject them.
THE PRAYER OF THE OFFICE-SEEKER-
ooh, that | were an event, that L might
take place.
An old trapper of Arizona, who has
Just scalped his fifteenth Indian, says; III
is good Staying out here this season"
A YOUNG lady being recommended ex-
ercise for her health, said she would Jump
at an offer and run the risk.
A LITTLE girl who was sent out to hunt
eggs thought it strange she did not ma
any, as there were several hens stand
ing around, doing nothing"
"WHAT death would you preferto die?
said one person to another. Il don't
exactly know; should like to try seven
or eight before deciding the point.
THE wretch who can stand in a pair OF
slippers worked for him by his wife, and
scOld her, is a brute, who deserves to have
the govt in both feet
4 GENTLEMAN remarked the other day
with great gravity, that the weather had
taken cold When asked why, he said,
ct WOacs it snoaos so much"
SAID an ambitious youth one day to
lady: Don't you think I'd better dye
my mustache?" caressng the infant prod
igy. Il think if you let it alone it'll dye
ITSELF" said the lady.
PROUD AND HAPPY-
"Surrounded by Iadies-how proud you must be "
Cried the Queen of the group, with face full oil
why-ye.," said the poet" but happierhe
Who Choosing the lass) were surrounded by one!
1T is said that Cyrus w. Field, of the
original ocean cable, and VIM. Orion,
President of the Western Union Tee-
graph, have purchased the French cable
or 81 100000 in gold.
SINCE manhood reached me l have
kept on my life perpetual insurance
| and think my duty to those dependent
upon me would be undischarged If 1t were
| not so.-BIsHoP HAWKS. Think of what
the Bishop says, and insure i'll the Wash
| ington Life.
A LITTLE three year old girl in New
| Orleans recently astOnishcd her mother
who attempted to correct hcr-by motion
ing her away with q chubby little hand
and scornfully saying "Shoo, fly, don't
bodder mel"
BOYS" asked the teacher of on in
| FAINT Sunday school class, "did you ever
| see an elephants skin ?" Yes, sir, did,
| piped a little fellow away down at the
foot odd you, Robert? Where was it,
"On an elephant, sir"
OF all the declarations of love, the
most admirable one was that which a
young gentleman made to young lady
who asked him to show her the picture of
| the one he loved, when he Immediately
/ presented her mirror.
EMPLOYER TO NEW CLERK" Well,
! Snifiles, have you posted the LEDGER
New Clerk" Yeth, thir I've posted the
ledger; but, Tor, thir, it wath too big for
the letter-boxth, and | had to take it in
thide the potht-oflith
A WIT, being told that an old acquaint-
ance was married, exclaimed, al am glad
oft" But rejecting moment, he added,
in tone of compassion and forgiveness,
land yet don't know why should be,
he never did me any harm"
PUNCH illustrates plump youngster
applying for the place of page to whom
the mistress says: 81 wish my servants
to have plenty, but l don't allow any
waste" Page" Oh, no, mum; which
I'd eat and drink till Ibusted, mum, rather
than waste anything, num-"
IT is now usual to add to fire insur
ance policies the following clause: Per
mission given to keep and sell kerosene
oil, to be drawn by daylight only" Ar
agent in Portland recently embarrassed a
customer by granting permission as above
"to keep and use kerosene oil by,dayligh
only"
Two little girls were heard one morn
ing engaged in dispute as to what theil
"moihers could do" The dispute wa,
ended by the youngest child saying
well, there's one thing my mother car
do that yours can't-my mother can take
every one of her teeth out at once"
SCENE IN CHICAGO-Mr Jones "Why
Amelia, whO-whO is this gentleman =
Mrs. -: my husband, sir!" Mr.
Jones: "Are you mad, Amelia? I'm
your husband" Mrs -: you were
sir, yesterday; but | procured a divorc,
and married Mr.. Smythe this morning
. This is my house, sirl'
A NEW physiological discovery ha
been made by a young man-namely, tina
the pulse of young ladies generally beat
stronger in the palm of the hand than a
the wrist AS to more elderly females
even little boys know by stern experience
that the palm Of the maternal hand beat
awful strong.-Frciange
ONE of Mark Twain's farmers bough
: some Bartlett pear trees, and the mex
season he took some of the fruit to TIN
tree dealer "What kind Of pears do yol
call these ?" "Well, dont't know but
ton pears, perhaps" "But, they grew
on one of the trees you sold me for Bart
lett" "Are you such TOOL" was tn
dealers convincing rejoinder, " as to sup
pose that tree is going to bear Bartlett
pears the first year,"
RAW BEEF FOR INvALIDs.-Raw beef
it is asserted, proves of the greatest benefi
as a diet for persons of frail constitutions
1t is reported that physicians are now al
ministering to cOnsumptives diet of fine
ly-chopped raw beef, properly seasoned
with salt, and heated by placing the disl
containing il in boiling water. This foo
} is given also in cases where the stOm
ach rejects almost every other form o
food. 1t assimilates rapidly and afford
the best nourishment, while patients learl
to long for and to like it as much as DR.
Kane did his Arctic dinners of raw ant
seal walrus.
BLEACHING OR DIsINFECTING FEATTI
ERs-Clean the feathers first from greasy
matter, and then place them for three
hours in dilute solution of bichrOmate o
potassa, to which small quantity of nit
ric acid has been added. The feather
will become greenish from deposit o
chronic sesqui-oxidc, which is removed
by weak sulphurous acid, when the feath
| loff