Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-04-16
.11oeekly Grinity 5uurnal,
Boots Under the Bed.
Miss lydia White hai two lovers.
nv C-,l Vy-,Itio Lanai

Tom Green and Willie Jones.
Both were good-lookiug well-to-do young
mechanics and both loved her devotedy, if their
own vehement assertions could be credited.
Lydia was in something of a dilemma concern
ing them.
She had no particular preference for either of
them, but she wanted to be married some time,
and Mr.. White was opposed to long courtships,
and Aunt Jane kept assuring her that her bed
and table linen would get yellow with being
packed away in the trunk so long, and she also
took frequent opportunities OF remarkng that
"nene of her girls ever were single after they
reached the age OF eighteen no. not minnit J
And as Lydia counted her years four more than
eighteen Of course this latter usinuation Of Aunt
James cut her deeply.
Lydia turned the matter over seriously in her
mind and argued it with herself, pro and con.
Which should she take, Green or Jones?
She was in some degree romantic, and she
had INDUCED in gorgeous dreams of marrying
second Napoleon to courage in fact, If there
was any quality she especially admired in man,
it was bravery. When she said any thing about
this in the hearing of Tom and Willie, they beg
ged her 10 put them to the test-they would joy
fully die for her if she stood in need of such a
sacrifice they assured her over and over again.
One Sunday evening, as indeed was frequently
the case, Jones and Green. both happened to call
at Lydia at about the same time.
Ly dia went out of the room about nine o'clock
under the pretepse of getting book of engrav-
ings, but sue shortly retarned in great pertuba-
tion.
What is it?" What is the natter" cried
the two lovers in eager chorus
Oh, dear me sighed Lydia, "such
dreadful, dreadful thing Who would have
thought it in our peaceful community? Oh,
Mr. Jones Mr.. Green You cannot think how
glad-how relieved | that you are here.
! should be frightened to death were it other
-l,a acI, Erat .,At III na
other with confidence perfectly nfatuating.
Tell us what it is, cried Green
Enlighten us as to the cause Of this emotion p'
said Jones, who had been to the Chicken Valley
academy two "quarters:' and used some large
words.
ooh, you are both so braveP' cried Lydia
admiringly-" feel as if were protected by an
army"
Green drew himself up to his full height,
which was just five feet, and it must be confess
sed that beside the Herculean Jones, be looked
like Bantam rooster beside Shanghae.
Command me ~ said Green. Only let me
do your bidding -
ASK my existence" said Jones, "and it
shall be given freely the streams give to the
sounding ocean"
Hush /" cried Lydia, " don't speak so loud !
He may hear you and take the alarm and kill us
ali before you have a chance to capture him"
HeF who? what2' demanded Jones in a
tragic whisper.
- Hush :or PHYS sake" said Lydia, " he's
up stairs in the spare room Under the bed !
Father had Il hundred dollars paid him yesterday
for cow, and this is plan TO rob the house.
] saw his boots stick out from under the coun-
terpane.
" Good heavens !" cried Green, getting be-
hind Jones
And such big boots too, :" said Lydia" No.
IL am sure"
Jupiter what giant ho must be-" said
Jones.
ooh Tom oh Willie protect me !" cried
Lydia pathetcally, and they both protested that
they would shield her with the last drop of their
blood.
"Then go up stairs and seize the villain"
said Lydia.
you had better go first" said Jones. al
don't know the way"
d" Nor /, p" said Green, {" and you're the big
gesti it belongs TO you TO lead on"
4" ] will show you the way" said Lydia
And the two gallant young men reluctantly
followed her up stairs. She opened the door
softly, and they saw the boots very distinctly ;
most extremely dirty pair of cowhides, which
looked as though their owner had tramped
through twenty miles of swamp and made no
acquaintance with rugs or scrapers afterwards
"A-a mighty big man he must be, with such
pair of feet, said Jones' Hadn't we better
call your father and Mr. Berry the hired man %
luluh we MAO, bdlu dTccu umluIy,
~ DON'T" said Lydia, decidedly, "see be-
lieve the boots are moving. Oh, goodness me l''
And as she screamed, Jones aud Green made
rush lsr the chamber door. Jones stumbled
over a washstand and went headlong to the foot
Of the stairs wasEstand and all.
And Lydia, by cngiug to the skirts of Mr.
Green coat, kept him from following his rival.
" What in the deuce is to pay hereY cried
Jack Berry, appearing on the scene in his shirt
and trowsers, and his curly light hair standing
out all over his head, like the bristles on lamp
chimney brush.
Lydia pointed to the boots.
g Don't touch him" whned Green. He may
have pistol or something about him, and hurt
somebody"
"Y You chicken-livered whelp!" cried Berry,
you re afraid to see what's behind the boots,
are ye? " Wall, III show you"
And Berry seized the frightful objects and
gave pull SO strong that he went over back
wards on the floor, with ooot in either hand
Jupiter ~ cried he - never any boots
come off SO easy as they did. Let's see the
feet" and diving under the bed he lifted the
counterpane but displayed nothing.
" But where is the owner of the boots?" cri.d
he, scratching bruise on his nose and looking
infinitely puzzled.
" Here p' said Pa White appearing at the
door. Z" I'm the owner, and here We been
hearing that drafted noise for the last ten min
utes, and thinking there fire over to the
corner. But not a sign of my boots could find.
Who pnt 'em there, Lyddy 2"
But Lydia was bathing Berry nose and Green
and Jones had sense enough to see that they
were de EoP. And they took their departure
without any very elaborate farewells.
"By jinks, said Jones, on their way home
" I've got an dea it's my opinion that jade of
girl put them boots there herself, purpose
to try us"
" OF course she did - said Green
In 1902 the English attacked feet of Spanish