, 1870-08-21
TIT-BITS.
4 head wind-.A sneeze.
-A-naew--ins-A cat screnaiie.
a uiat-ls same-tncentiAnsm.

---During prsee. regiment is eu.1tereds
during var tin" it IL occssiousliy cur to rtccs-
-"N= great comfort to be ltfs slime
es'd At lsssh lover: especially shen ycz
sWatehe.rt i ~il yr-"
The New Haven Police Court. recently.
tried to settle the novel question. how sn;,cl.
man onght to be lined to1 e.ckius co!o.od
vemsn until she aas ..hlack in the face, bat
iinAlly gave mp thr conun.lr7,n. and discharged
tho offender on payment Of c,sts.
-1sA,e Hiterp1sn: ''Kaither. them risa-
tees i-nt cooked Waiter: "verr sorry,
tit. Cooks lrn a-l,ilin' 'em these two hou1s.''
lr.te EIibernian: Two hours, il it, Fax,
iss cold wa,hsr shes b-.~n bLiiin' ON ia
tl.in!.''
"A Kansas editor dnes not consider 4 e,-
temporary gentleman. hts1t1ae hs - uipas
lis tIose on his coax sltssr.'
The lateet joke OIL t'reelev i, ttlst il. il
writing seris of articles On what know
about running esw-ruill, ' IN Which the a!lu-
zion to dams will BE- frequent.
The cav girls Of Detroit having oEganizN7
some base ball clnt's. an exchange suggests
that eorrato ar alto hall cluts would be rsnrs
arrropnate, ard that the players slsnilA weir
tall dresses when the! play and other base
la1tetf1-h tn like elect.
--An old bachelor says that giving tho hal
lot to Vi TEN world not amount 10 ANY thing
rracri s,!.. heeansc they would keep drawing
t.es. e:.. t'!i enough to Eate until t!i"y GIT
e:os I'll - :she sny interest in 1s'liti>s.
| ~, %unEer eres sometimes loNk Ylrsding
ard rer7oNfui: they ars ui1cr tie lash al the
time
~-Ccn. !,v a Son of nn!-W!y ,ss IT,.
| rev trceeh-lnsderr sCpralcsi With Ee,~:ies3
To keer their hreechce in repair. ef ro.--'.
| French aTu.s don't .cen. after all, t., 10
| tarrrlor to Gc1n,an Hans.
a secondhand cio.hier OF New Haven,
| Conn. publicly anra:'iIccF that he h1s '.1sft
Of closhing 9: every dessri;'ti"u.' and SET
has not ssrtn intar.A-''i vita i'y the rotiea.
| Tho Il, lowing connndrunl j. c71rIenk
al..cad; What j. lke difference between tls,
| Ulefa anil 1:r..,:? TIr Opera Las Nil-sna,
| a. Cs.,t n;.s s., NJ The author Asks ,1~
il.as cf iLc VIC; :L.r-
| -Waer-:s --TsrH:r.l veterans wceriE, at
the tra,;s,.i4i,v ef I'a.;.esial i,abrs.
I -Sess,al ;'.'':..iia sriasttrs j, Ma@-a,':.u-
| eeitt. afte: long vess~ Of na:c.lii r:a,.,a-
,iop. ertsrrly i;-reni t.oa: the rsove.l, Nan
| Proposes.
a man nut West, hearin,: :l.a: dry con-
! r'sa- mt IN . he'd Il ATE woai caa-. thuEa
tnlcave. PIT III ,.i- mailer -iu-l4wn hcf
To sec If +!.e would 50. lie says abe vas there
| At last aerau1sss-
| The Horton Tsn-,,,r rnl,s!-hc- 1T fem
with the heal: q. Tie Dam Trouble i,y
reading it t}lr:S! f,aS. .srts.a,nt-l That IL
refers 10 soue l.cai quarrel aver the u! .,is
liver tlau.. near Eortou, a,4l not to tue Eura~
rcau var
- la:, don't work en.srSt. to earn Ecur sai-
nEy. sail the head VI Department il. t!.s
NeN York Custom House to ONE ii l;!- clerks.
"Wosk,," cxcla;E,el the ye,,u: naas II
'vorkrd I" get here: surely you .lo;tt ezls<s
me to work any louser."
-Snc.e rg-e ct an et.:,nr trics 10 f:i,.i,'"n
tender conrtieEcfs be telling vHsiI:. taii-s
I'll at when they esc!ain, 'tl.:sr th"s are
ewca1ins 1ike tr1h,ress- fct -::ci is tit" fa,'t-
fnr the phrase. a. wc have it. IL hi: She COR
| rur,inn of the Italian verbs l't,. Nit, My
t;stl Now let lis know H!.eth er il is swear
| sE. IN ear ''soo.lE.ss GEleipsls a.d Il
tEnm."
-A d:u=g:+l hes this cheerful invitation in
lis rhow-"i.JcN 'Cone i'll and get tNei,a
cslftiGs fer one shilling
a .!;'cstion for .i.uer:cans: VIII the is:1n-
Cation Ct tie Department OF the Mosel!e by
tie French Goyrrnuaeut water the sparkling
Mo-eale OF ls70s
"A Wisconsin papaF mentions cass uhero
| burglars broke ito store. b;t the Eoosis
we're marked go high that they would ,,ot tAko
| any aw1v
tt. Naiuc siri who, in her duro'iau to
. fashion, wss killed by insect. froI:i Ler iuta
switch eains into hcr brain. dietl III tic slnoof
jhty*
Rome VIA delivered by its geeese. Stra4-
Lourg has made itH fortune by delivering
geeee. Will itb gees. rave il itO*
-I'usc}.inelIo says tiat Aftsr g In1ki-h bath
. | 4 man can walk clean hume.
, -1Ac conduct OF the Iuan who hea:s his
wife bsaie everything: but that nf a mat vino
, r!aus the door in the faes VI his wite's Tela-
| t;ons bangs all~
a ycntleman who hal very deaf servant
!
: NO, no. replied the gentleman, with much
Eona fet1inr. ",fat 1"'o- sreatnre e'saha bever
! hear OF another riuat'ou-"
lie tonk her fancy uhen he came. he tonk
i her hsud. lie took kiss; be tack ho uotic'. "f
! the SHAME that g.owed ler harp: cl..ri- nj
= this. He took TO coming afternoons he t'''ak
= an oath he'd ne'er deceive: lie took his tll14-
I ter4 eisvez spoons, and after thar he took Ills
: leave. ..---..- --... g.
:. rh.xieian Ct focl >: fn1ty. :I.r HAIRY Hall
:. ford. distinguished physician: la!lrr,': tc
!, quote this I'D saw to = rcri,le u fst.i!-.
= sncne uhom was Canning. tin, a4t,-s til
: quret ''s,s Harry. u,asn't lie L- BOTH
The father Vi Mrs. Sh!.iosr hal al"ays
:, forbidden l,er - marry an actor and u: cen
a she chose member Of thu old seHtlema -
:. company, whom tho secretly weAsef- When
- | Roger kem5le heard of il he war ;uIiour.
:. "lIavc not, hc exclaimed, ''forlado yuu to
, marry 1,layer:" The lady replied. with
;. 1cuncast eye.. that .he hail nut ;lisobe:..d.
"Nlat. madam. have you not ail..:,l xonrse.f
; 10 mary about The votst pesto:msr in ny ny
!. s1ai5 bride, ssaot,tdr can call him IL acto..
A correspondent auocg tho lakes CT
Maine writes that he asked hog which was
il, | the hest Of several ensH lake+ for fishing
70 a,noqniddxni1cun"- At this po,nt Tho
70 Correspondent walked away, reached ! mel :h-
% boring lake. dshed three hours. and returned.
~ ~ On bis way home he met tie boy where h.
N H10 rex sslll
% Just fni.h;ug the a.me-.' ulosiksshu-
10 eenif1uEri." Tie writer dates his le.fer at
- ''Iale Mu1tatnnkoohog squroitakoolooas-
tic
W The congregation OF welt~kuoIn chur:h
~ in the .outh OF scotland has recently had Ht.-
rs der discussion the question Of the proper att:
~ trde in PRAYER. James Nj. rather a cLal-
u sctes in the town. being a-kcl By la'!; VI
=, the congregation il he wanted to canfnlm to
If tie recommending Of the mioi-ses. that AL
/ ia ttA4 Dt,n$S1 hr
- Never bit will kues1. The Eitle s7v-
h. watch ard rrav:' and hoo can everybody
,r watch on their kpees. vi their cen steekit
!, Sa, ma TIL inst r1aad an glover about inc
i. | Is Aae aye tuEc."
~ "A LITTLE bog G yesra old, aal little girl.
is 3. were looking At the cc::2Zds. one t:anti'u1
:. J srHuef e7eplag. watching their fan:a-si.
II shares, when the bnr exclaimed, 20. Miaula
r. see dog in the =kx! it mus he .ky-tsr
III | rer.
is "A talented young African, oi sha boo:
10 black Persuasion, observed neisabot porliis
II dressed him thus : :" Ja!iss, what yoa looaiu
III way, fcIlsh.:' cried the o,ber indignantly
.. .:Euess can read rs big enuH for da:-
Sc s.Gig tun." rstorted the other. seorntIlls
r. -'dat amt rusiu. \ cows big nud to coteh
I'D | mice, hut she can't.
liz 4 little 5-year-old at ithaca had a aous
ris l tuilt for lis cat, which was placej OF ~
@a | EOfC0, Hlen q little HQQWtE CaL1e AP* AN'
ks' young man was discovered soon alter. VIII
lu- the cat by the pape Of the necs. looking NJ
w. in the clouds, and giving vent to his ont17sts
me / # elings. Saws be. - Look here. Doo. d.
.p- ! you know what ycu're doing. raining Ill ose
lie, my tar You'll dit hsz all rusty:
ion A New York paper calls riding IL the G..
be- ca1s buggy riding
not | tress. who said rllat tEe had Ius fo>' ;ast
lst, garlic in the oueier. replied that she aia Il ~ -
Eut i liar it would not taste 30 ssrohe> u 'A'
~. syes;r,si;tcrE.. How often must climb tafe' 4
-,ir Of st.iss before get the a:nona. =! 9si
!, f;t1ie rrcnnut:'' Hr1ter-'' DC you thnk
~ co;,t, m rent rlacs on arst aoot 10 a.
- conmo,ia,e nv creditors:
~. M1 vouusster, after deep meditation. broa
'.ae orr n hls father: % "a. know wing colore
in reople have white so!ea 70 ther feet an
i .ea ,onrs.l n.an was nsde, he stood on al1-four
IA whi,e Cos! was painting him"
.i:v -:trtist. Well. 50 you've sold mv rictur!
Ia. | What did it SO for
;t5 Picture IFu'er. Thirty shillings.
,l,o .lr!ist. Thirty shlLpgs! Why. the fran
oc- cost ne more than that.
at. Picture He1!tT. AZ! that WAS before th
"a. picture was lit ...,.
10 The other evening, two specimens OF =
ion genus Democrat we're overheard eonverslrl
ur- when one asked the other What he thoust
the sbout the war. ''Whst war: 4usrled No
the why, didn't yc1 know there wss BIZ; var
the Eu1ppe:" said No I. And thus rsr1iea II
,ars uopoeted Democrat: ''W-l1, It hcnt sufFff.s
dis me- alwsr- told 'em. ct tho d. G:sss:- ::
let- | , ycte, we'd keT aaatse1 VA