Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-12-17
Trials OF Witness, as Recounted
Letter to PunchinelIO.

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Trials of a witness, as Recounted IN
Letter to Punchfneiio.
Mr.. PuNcHINELLo: At the beginning
of last week made my first appearance
in any courtroom in the character OF a
witness in the case Of Valentine VS.. Or
son, in which the point in dispute was
the ownership Of tract of land in Wyo-
ming Territory. | knew something in
regard to the sale Of these lands, and was
| fully prepared to testify to the extent OF
nv knowledge in the premises; but Judge
ofmy utter surprise and horror, on beng
obliged to go through such an ordeal as
the following extracts from my examina-
ton will indicate:
The counsel for the plaintiff COM
menced by asking me if | was a married
man. and when / answered that was, he
said:
I"Is your wife believer in the princi-
ples of the Woman's Rights partyT
could not for the life of me, see what
this had to do with the land in Wyoming,
but / answered that / was happy to say
she was not.
The examination then proceeded as
follows:
o. You are happy, then, in your mat
rimoniai reiations7 A. Yes land re-
Numbering the ath)-reasonably 80
o. Is your wife pretty2 A. Witness
remembering at once his oath and his
wife's presence in court. She is pretty
pretty. ,..
o. What are her defects2 A. wit
ness remembering only his wife's pres
ence.) ! have never been able to dis
cover them.
@. Do you wear flannel. A. Yes, in
winter.
o. Can you testify, upon your oath,
that you do not wear flannel in summer
A. can.
o. Now be careful in your answer.
What do you wear in the spring and fali Z
A. II wear my common clothes.
O. With flannel or without fiannelT
A. Sometimes with, and sometimes with
out
o. No evasion you must tell the court
exactly when you wear flannel and when
You do not h3 !.
A series of questions on this subject
brought out the fact that | wore flannel
when the weather was cold, or cool; and
did not wear it when it was mild, or
warm.
o. Have you q slightning-rod on your
honse2 A. have.
o. How much did it cost you to have
i put up2 A. 1t has not cost me any
thing yeti owe for it,
Q. Is that all you owe for2 A. No.
have other debts.
Q. Have you any money with you
low2 A. / have.
o. How much2 A. Counting con-
ents Of porte-monnaie.) Sixty-two
cents.
o. Where did you get that? A.
With embarrassment | borrowed 1t.
Q. Were you present when defendant
irst offered his land for sale to the plain
iff2 A. Frightening up.) was.
Q. Do you burn gas or kerosene In
rour house2 A. Gas.
Q. How many burners2 A. Ten,
hink.
Q. Are you willing TO assert, upon
Tour solemn oath, that there are only
en-? A. Witness counting on his I'M
.ers.) / am.
o. Do you wear studs or buttons on
-our shirt frontsf A. Studs.
Q. Gold or pearl2 A. Mother-of-pesrl
IS a general thing. but sometimes / wear
me gold one at the top.
G. We're all your studs Of mother-of
earl at the time when you first heard
his transaction mentioned between the
,arties2 A They were. Nf
o. Do you ever wear your gold stud in
he middle Of your bosom1 A. No, sir;
always wear it at the top. /,
Q. Do you ever wear it at the bottomf
Jan you swear it was not at the bottom
m the day Of the transaction referred
OF. A. | distinctly remember that !
lid not wear it at all that day. we |,
O. Did you wear it that night2 A.
No, sir.
Q. Can you swear that after you went
10 bed you did not wear it'll A. L can.
2. Have you ever been vaccinatedY
A. have.
Q. On which arm. A. The left
@ At the time Of the FIRST mention Of
this land 70 the plaintiff, who we're pres
ent2 A. witness speaking with hope
lui NlNacltyf As II ne hOpeG they we're
now coming TO the merits OF the case
The plaintiff, the defendant and myself
Q. Do you use the Old Dominion cof-
iee-pot in your house2 A. (Dejeetedly) /
No. sir
Q. What kind Of coFee-pot do you
usef A. A common tin one.
2 You are wiling TO swear il is tint
A an
y Has you wife any sisters1 A. She
has two-Anna and Jane.
Y Are they narried7 A. They are.
Y. Are either Of them as pretty as
your rIief A, lQuickly.) No, sir. 7
.. Have you any chiIdsenf A. Tro.
@ Have they had The mealles7 A.
I.ey have
Q, Has asy other persoas in your
I..n..n ~ - -...-.I...|. A H. L.I j