Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-01-06
A Short Lecture to Young Men.

Short Lecture to Dung Men.
II all the fashion to lecture, as wit
ness Josh Billings, Nasty, aud lots of
other fools-no, | mean funny men
and of course want to be in fashion; so
as young men need lecturing about as
much as anything | know Of, | will be-
gin with them.
And firstly: Don't begin the world
with the idea that there is certain
quantity of wild oats to be sown to get
the ground ready for crop of tame
oats. You have most of you seen that
tail, rank weed with n yellow blossom
which bears, after the blossom. burr of
what arc called "beggar's lice." Pass
by them, and they fall off and stick to
your clothes, and stick, and stick and if
you, by dint of hard brushing and prick
led fingers, succeed in Kidding yourself
of them, they most likely have gone
where the next passer by will be trou.
bled by them. And their sprawling un-
calmly stalk has taken as much vitality
from the earth Us a strawberry vine or a
rose bush would have done. 1t is like
will oats, just as ungainlv, just as dis
agreeable to your friends, and just as
needless. No more SO.
Secondly: Don't swear. The truth is
good enough without it and faIsehood is
uone the better with it. Two thirds of
the sensible people have feeling that a
story which needs confirming an oath is
like a house which needs propping with
n shore, rather unstable and dangerous
IN storm. | have known swearer
himself 10 declare his modification at
the company of another no moro pro-
fame than himself.
Thirdly: Look out for your roputa
ton. If that gets bad, be sure it is the
outcropping from Diseased branch in
your character; and reputation once
patched is "a likely to show the blemish
as a china plate with piece puttied in
its edge. Going down hill is easy, east
Tor than going up, while your face is
toward the bottom. 1t is like playing
Larry G. Gaff, you can begin anywhere,
but if you 60 on till you come to stop
ping place, you may play till your bow
is worn out and your strings broken
Your fiddle is gone, but the music re-
mains--Da cappo from everlasting even
unto everlasting.
Fourthly: Take your sisters with you
to places of amusement, thus making sure
they are in company with COMPOUNDED
good fellow; then of course you will be
sure they are in no danger. Don't ex-
cuse yourself by saying that the place or
the company is not fit. If it is good
enough for you it is equally so for them,
unless by keeping bad associations you
have fallen a long way below the.n-in
which case continuance of evil will not
raise you again to their level.
Filthy: Learn to take care of your
self and not depend on mother and sis
to button your collar, put away your
slippers and pipe, (fyou are fool enough
TO smoke one, hunt up the book you
have mislad, or hang up your hat and
overcoat; otherwise you may have the
riches of a Jew, the beauty Of Apollo,
and the good nature of clown, without
the faculty of making good husband.
Sixthly: Don't scowl at your sisters
children and call them "brats" or "nui-
sances." People who live in glass hous-
es ought to know better than TO throw
stones, and you should consider that it is
utterly impossible for anything human to
be more hateful than you were when
this same sister was being courted, unless
the exception be made in favor of the
''to be's," when you yourself shall have
been married few years.
Seventhly: Don't regard life as play.
ground and every working day as hard
ship. The only person l ever knew
who had Fourth Of July all the year
round is old Yankee Doodle.
Eighthly, and lastly: When you go
counting don't stay till into The email
hours, thus giving the young lady red
eyes and headache the next day, or
what is equally as bad, late breakfast
and voley of railery from her big
brother, who has not yet begun to run
up gas bill for somebody else to pay.
You may be very brilliant and entertain.
ing-probably you are-but l tell you
she would much prefer to swallow it in
smaller doses. OF course she cannot tell
you so; it would not be polite; but she
thinks it all the time after eleven. You
may depend on what I say, for l had
beau once myself, and it is not so long
since but [ can remember that l was
many times twice glad-when he came
and when he went-HoPE HoLLY.-
Vide World.