The Portland daily press., 1870-09-26

A jolly day-the Day of All-jeers.

A jolly day-the Day of All-jeers.
Prussian squad called on French miller
to grind some flour, but he only boted.
Napoleon walks constantly (cable). Pooh!
That's only to make people think he il still
on his feet
Napoleon's surrender at Sedan can hardly
be called his "crowning" disaster; it was rath-
er of another sort.
The safe of I. F. Nutter G. Co., Boston,
was ROBBED of various papers and about $4O0
in money, Wednesday, while the proprietors
were in the back room.
Kansas paid, last year. s3i2,217 27 internal
revenue tax. Next year it will be reduced
titty-six per cent.
Orvie Grant, of Chicago, is said to resem-
BILE bis brother, the President so closely, that
-stranners aca.ost him in the streets.
negro girl near Wnsboro, s. c :. was re-
Gently ehastised by heremployer, and in re-
venge built fire in a cradle containiur his in
FAINT child, burning it TO DEATH and then burnt
the house.
The Chicago Post, speaking of Professor
Blot, says he was chief of the caterers, aud
was called the caterpillar tor that reason, and
because he made the butter fly.
Mr.. Enolh Fl. Nutter, of Portsmouth. re-
Gently received by express, paid, two watches
which were stolen from his jevelry store
ciSHieeH uOulnS ago.
1t cost the taxpayers of Boston s2,184 to
pay for the city governments excursion to
Rocky Point. The expense was over S2S for
each member, with car iare thrown in.
New Lisbon, Ohio, has female base ball
club. One OF the girls recently made home
run. She saw her father coming with a
switch.
Enterprsing bankers of st. Louis and
Chicago have been victmized largely by two
apparent Spaniards, who succeeded in selling
them bars OF galvanized copper, for gold.
A healthy Texan pioneer has received in
to his manly frame, at various times, IT'S shots.
has had all his legs and ribs and skull tractur-
ed, been scapled by Indians, raised twenty
children, and lots OF crops, and is tough and
eighty now.
The question of woman suffrage was
brought up in the platform committee of the
late Republican convention in Iowa, but the
proposition was rejected by unanimous con-
sent.
81: Louis spends s25,OOO per month In
building sewers, Ofwhich she has now one
hundred and fifteen miles.
Peoria, Illinois has three young girl iail
breakers, aged fourteen, eleven and nine
years, who climbed through a small window
IN the sarret, and lowered themselves to tho
ground, forty feet, by means of a clothes line.
Alto, Howard county Indiana, has pvpu-
lalion OF fifty, and postmaster who receives
salary of $40. per year.
The trustees OF the public schools in Louis
vile, KY, have prescribed Southern Histo-
ry OF the United States" written BY an ex-
Confederate officer, as the text book for
schools. large part OF the work is in vindi-
cation Of the war OF the rebellion and viIfy-
ing the Union cause. Much excitement exists .
IN the city over the change, and many OF the
children of Union parents deliberately cut the
offensive pages from their new books.
William E. Baker, of Wesley, Mass, has is
sued tin cards of invitation to the Tenth An
niversary" of his wedding.
On the 18th Of October seven encampmepts
and nineteen lodges oi Odd Fellows of Essex
County are to visit Lawrence, Mass.
The other day in Buffalo, an excited indi-
ydual with carpet bag in one hand and an
umbrella in the other, and a shawl hanging
over his arm, acsosted one of the street gsm-
ms with the question, Say, bub, which is the
quickest way for me to get the Erie Railroad
depots" "RunP' was the laconic response.
When Gen. Sherman went to California be
was met at the station by party OF his torm-
er friends in the land of gold. One began to
shoot Off speech at him: "Gen. Sherman
on. Here he was stopped by the genel al,
who took him by the hand and shoulder, and
Will q SOOu udIuTeu Siule Sdlu. lIOW arc
| you, old fellow; how are you" The speech
was exploded
Two years ago a gentleman of Hoboken,
/ New jersey, visited San Autonia, Texas, aud
| stayed there Tor some months. One dag bis
| attention was called to young m an who was
| driving dirt cart "Guess who that Is, SAID
/ friend. The gentleman examiner Tue uriv-
er of the cart atteutiyey. He was bail clad W sol
| diers. half in citizens atGre, and was dirty,
raered and ugly. Hls,features lacked intelli-
| oence. and on the whole he Iwas disgusting
| Object. "He is a soldier" continued the
| sneaker. .sbeonging TO- the United States infan-
| lry: but as he is incapable of carrying musk
| ct, and has not intelligence enough to per-
| form guard duty, he is detailed to carry of
| the dlrt and offal from the barracks. He is in
receipt Of two thousand dollars year, which
he spends freely. His name is Won Mol,ks,
and he is nephew of the hero OF Ssdowa"
Milwaukee is the greatest arain market In
the world. 1t has six large elevators, able to
| bold from hall a million tn a million and q
million and hall bushels. Yet last week hve
| hundred cars were standing in the 'rclSnt
| yards and on the tracks ofthe city, unable 10
discharge their wheat. This immense giu. Is
| from old wheat, and the mercnan.s .,s -, .,..
| that there are a million more pusneiS OF thS
| crop of 1869 to come.
Fresh and salt water fish are sold u Paris
ndcr the same root, a considerable portion of
the former being brought to market alive in
large tanks filed with water, from which they
are transferred to stone tIoughs, where a con-
sta,,t current is kept up to restore them to a
brisk ard lively condition. The sales of ash
at the Halles are conducted as rapidly as pos
BILE, time in this case being really money, as
| every hour the day advances the value of the
commodity invariably decreases.