Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-07-14

True, there never was bucn y Call 1OI the
paper before, and 1t never sold such q
large edition, or scared to such celeb
ritY; but does one wan to be famous for
lunacy, and prosper upon the infirmities
of his mind? My friend, as I am an hon
est man, the street out here is funo of peo-
pie, and others are roosting on the fences,
waiting to get a glimpse of you, because
they think you are crazy. And well they
might aft after reading ding your r ed i61rnlS.
ism. Why, what put 1t into your
head that you could edit q paper
Of this nature? You do not seem to
know the first rudiments of agriculture.
You speak of q furrow and a harrow as
being the same thing you talk Of the
moulting season for cows; and you recon-
mend the domestication of the polecat
on account of its playfulness and its ex-
cellence as a ratter. Your remark that
CLAIMS will lie quiet if music be played to
them, was super1uous-entirely super
1uous. Nothing disturbs clans. CLAIMS
GlSoGys lie quiet. CLAIMS care nothing
whatever bou music. All, Heavens and
earth, friend, if you had made the acquir-
ing of ignorance the study of your life,
honor than you could to day. i never
saw anything like it. Your observation
that the horse-chestnut, IS an article OF
commerce, is steadily gaining in favor, is
simply calculated to destroy this journal
/ want you to throw upyour situation and
go. 1 want no more holidsy-I could not
enjoy it if I had it. Certainly not with
in dread of what you might be going to
recommend next. 1t makes me lose all
patience every time I think of your dis.
cussing oyster beds under the head of
Landscape Gardening I want you to
60. Nothing on earth could persuade me
= L&1I2- oh -hu did nj
you tell me o didn't know anything
about agriculture ?"
Tell you, you c~ornstalk, you cabbage,
you son of a ~caulihowerl It's the hrst
time I ever heard such an unfeeling re-
mark. l tell you I ave been in the ed
itorial business going on fourteen years,
and it's the first time / ever heard OF a
mans having to know anything in order
to edit 8 newspaper. You turnipl Who
write the dramatic critiques for the Sec
ond rate papers? Why, a parcel OF pro
NOTED shoemakers and apprentice
a-pothecaries, who know just as much
about good acting as I do about good
farming, and no more. Who review the
booksf People who never wrote one
Who do up the heavy leaders on finance
; Parties who have had the largest oppor
. tunities for knowing nothing about it
Who e~riticise the Indian campaignsi
Gentlemen who do not know a war-whooI
b from a wigwam, and who never have haC
to run q fo~ot-race with q tomahawk, O.
! pluck arrows out of the several member
of their families to build the evening CAM
: fire with. Who write the temperance ap
peals and clamor about the flowing bowl
Folks who will never draw q sober breatl
till they do it in the7grave. Who edit tn
agricultural papers, you-yam? Men, a
D q general thing, who fail in the poetry
. line, y~eilow-covered novel line, ser
! sation-drama line, city editor line
and finally fall back or agricul
9 ture as q temporary repriev
from the Poor House. You try to tell m
anything about the newspaper business
Sir, / AVE been through it from Alpha t
Omaha, and I tell you that the less q MAJ
y knows the bigger noise he make and tn
g higher the salary he commands. Heave
knows if / had been ignorant instead c
q cultivated, and impudent instead of di
ident, 1 could have made a name for my
. self in this cold selfish world. I TAKEN
leave, sir. Since have been treated
you have treated me, am perfectly willin
a to go. But I have lone my duty, I hav
fulfilled my contract, as far as l was PEI
mitted to do it. I said / could make you
/ paper of interest to all classes, and I havl
l said I could run your circulation up I
twenty thousand copies, and if I had tw
o more weeks I'd nave done it. And I
have given you the best class of reader
that ever an agricultural paper had-not
a farmer init, nor a solitary individual VIII
d could tell watermelon from a peach-vin
to save his life. You are the loser by tn
rupture, not me-, Pie-plant. Adios."
/ then left -GHI0