The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1870-07-27
A FEARFUL SCENE.
Thrilling Adventure with wild Beasts
In an Express OlIlce.-A Monkey
Sitting In Hot Sealing WaKssAa
Apo Failing into Glue P0ts.A

8lSSADs III MOI oGuIlnA "UAS-EAG
Apo Failing into a Glue POtssA
Gorilla Changing His. Spots. il
From He 2T!USrtlie, Ri., Rgald. ,s.... l,a. 3.
The life Ofan express agent has its dan
gers ahd difficulties dS well as pleasures,
md also, at times, Is marked with thrill
ling escapes and wild adventure. The
agent that handles the packages marked
this side up with carr" and in the excite:
nent Of business rcverses the position OF
things, stands az good "a cllanCe'Of being
blown up" Us he who cNrelesslY drops u
can containing nitrO-glycerine. Some
queer express matter Is handled OCCASION.
ally, such rs live rattlcsnakes, marked
handle carefully brace Of fancy fowls,
wild cats, and cans, marked bOned turkey,
which contain glycerlne, aud other ex-
plOsives too numerous 10 mention. We
have case In point. On Saturday last
box resembling chicken.coop WIS re-
Celyed at the TilpsYille office ofthO Union
Express Company, marked ID, Rice,
Titusvillc, Penn, (llalr.dOzcn grapes). DO
not annoy the contents" Artist tho ute
taches Of the company paid but little at.
tention TO the "c0op," which, from its
marks, was Supposed To contain boxes Of
carly grapes, which the shipper desired
hanllcd carefully to avoid confusion and
decay. Il.' '.' ,''
Tie day passed, but tic consignce call.
ed not for his fruit, and measures were
discussed as 10 the best manner in which
to collect charges upon the same, when
all the discussion was ended by the Soon
tents" Of tho box making u Charge them.
selves; for In the twinkllng ol'tlIG extreme
end Of u lambs backbone no less than
several bsLljl-lleadetl, swcet.sccnlcd, mis-.
chicVOus monkeys had jumped from this
PandorO's box and had taken possession Of
the office. II seems that the intelligent
assistant express agent at some point had
intcndCdltO mark the box "hAll.dOZcn gray
apes" but differing from Webster in his
spelling, had thus caused the mistake and
detention Of u box OF supposed fruit,
which in reality was q consignment Of
moral monkeys for Dan Rice's show, and
which instead Of capering ninibly about
upon the backs orthe sacred cattle to the
lisciviOns pleasing of.RHCOrnucopia at
Dams great show, had been:wasting their
sweetness on the desert air, Until hunger
anl thirst compelled q raid upon the OK
press Office. .. uj,.., .u.4gl
But no time was lost. The doors were
secured, and armed with sticks oil, ceiling
wax, money packages, and G. o. D. packa.
yes, the forces Of the company rallied. and
Il lively chase began. The Dab0ons chat
tered, tho employees intlulged themselves
as did the army 1T Flanders, and from one
emil Of the office I'd the other the tide Of
battle rolled while far above the din
Of cOnfliCrcOull be heard the voice OF
Robinson giving orders amid the crash OF
falling lnXes Alnl-the smell-eGsingcd hlir
ais the apes dashed oYertlle candle for
melting wax. .
"BuE the battle is not 10 the strong" il
it had been the apes would have carried
the day, for the atmosphere was filed with
mingled OdOr Of scOrcheQ hair and pole
cat The leader Of the "What is IT, sat
down III u pool Of melted sealing wax,
and in mi instant was rooted to the spot.
A second WIS dcmoralized by aiquart
bottle Of ink, which, striking him upon
the top.knot, showed that if tho leopard
can't change hisspots tile monkey call! A
third one Tell into the glue pot, and was
dragged out by the tail, with each partic-
ular hair standing on end, "likc the quilts
Of IL frotful porkcr swine" going to war ;
and the glue soliditying as IL came in con-
tact with the air, he quickly resembled a
statue cut in wax and Vanished. The
animals were finally ull secured and stow
cd in the box, where they are now quietly
engaged III Illuminating upon the lckleness
Of mans lovc-and chewing peanuts.
The employees Of the express Office look
pelo, and have the appearance Of men who Yl!9
they propose TO conduct the express busi-
ness in trst-class manner, and balloons,
gorillas, or other wild dcnizens Of the
forest win be handled with ncatness or
dispatch, as may be necessary.