The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1870-03-02
3ltss and 4hsr'ptss.
Necessity has no law but an uncommon

Necessity has no law but an uncommon
number Of lawyers.
The man who does not think our taxes
heavy has been discovered. He has a
hundred thousand in bonds.
True love, as we'll as virtue, has this ad
vantage, that we are rewarded for every
sacrifice we make to 1t.
4 Mr.. Whim has married a Mrs. Small,
and the result will be several small whin
pers in the course Of time.
A philosopher says that if anything
will make a woman swear, 1t is looking for
her nightcap after the candle is out
He is happy whose circumstances suit
his temper; but he is more fortunate who
can suit his temper to any circumstances.
An Irishman was CHALLENGED to fight a
duel, but declined on the plea that he did
not wish to leave his ould mother an or
phan-
Madam, you said your son was a law
yer; has he much practice?" why, yes,
sir, he has n great practice-of smoking
cigars"
Il suppose You are interested IN Gems
Of Thought Matilda?" Yes, Angelina
but not so much as in Thoughts on
Gems"
Take two letters from money and there
viii be but one left We know q fellow
who took money from two letters and
there wasn't anything left.
\ man out west, who offered bail for a
friend, was asked by the Judge if he had
an encumbrance on his farm. "Oh, yes,
said he, my old woman"
At negro ball. in lieu of Not trans
ferable" on the tickets, notice was pos
ted unless he comes hisself"
When Haddox's wife kicked him out Of
bed, said he Look here now, you'd bet
ter not do that again if you do, it Will
cause a coldness in the family"
To enjoy life, you should be a little
miserable occasionally. Trouble, like cay
enne, is not very agreeable in itself, but 1t
gives great zest TO other things.
An Irishman was once asked to define
an Irish bull to which he replied, when
ever you see two tows lying down in a
field, the one that is standing up is a
buii."
Bacchus has drowned more men than
Neptune The meaning Of this proverb
appears to be this That it is much saf-
eT to so over the sea than to get half seas
over.
The following notice appeared on the
west end of a country meeting house -
Anybody sticking bills against this
church will be prosecuted according to
In " or any other nrisonca
The followingis q sign-board upon an
academy for teaching in one of the far
western states: Freeman and Huggs,
school teachers. Freeman teaches the
boys and Hugs the girls"
An old offender, well known at the
Tombs, and whose experience has been
great, declares that the best thing which
man can do when a policeman IS after
him, is to lock his door and then "bolt'
himself
You may compare Imagination TO a
pretty young girl that cheats at cards. The
cheating is so agreeable, and withal so
playful, that, so far from stopping the
game, you rather encourage the young
lady in her tricks.
A schoolmaster asked his scholars if any
of them could quote passage of Scrip
ture which forbade mans having two
wives, whereupon nearly the whole school
cried out, "No man can serve two mas
ters."
A young Lady explained to her inamo-
rata the distinction between printing and
publishing and, at the conclusion, of her
remarks, by way of illustration, said,
you may print kiss on my cheek, but
you must not publish it"
The greatest luxury of wealth IS one
the rich but little avail themselves Of
the pleasure of making the poor happy.
Habit is ike the dropping of water
| upon a rock,-it wears into the life, and
| the marks it makes can never be effaced
without the chisel and hammer of self-de-
NAL and self-discipline.
A certain amount of opposition is q
| great help to man. Kites rise against the
wind and not with the wind even q bad
wind Is better than none. No man ever
worked his passage anywhere in a dead
calm. Let ne man wax pale, therefore
/ because Of opposition opposition is what
he wants, and must have to be good fol
any thing. Hardship is the native soil Of
manhood and self-reliance.
The hog may not be thoroughly posted
in arithmetic, but when yon come to a
square root he is there,
Only give US our bread, and occasion
ally forgive US our debts, says a New Or
leans editor, and we are satisfied"
1t is beautiful thought in some Orien-
tai lands to leave untouched the fruits
that are shaken from the trees by the
wiRd, these being regarded as sacred to
the poor and the stranger
a young fellow at a candy-pull the 9th
er night sat down on marble slab nicely
covered with butter to prevent saccharine
adhesion. He hasn't stuck to any one
thing since
A Main papO says that man recently
died in Pigeon Cove, "of fine mind and
unusual benSvolence and fatness, with
high moral principles, weighing $50
pounds"