The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1870-06-17
PAT. MALONEY's CAT.

\ .sASA A/O1N u . AAIs
Pat. Mal0ney, or rs he was sometime,
called, Father Pat, ON returning from
" ork one evening, was met ut the gate
by Biddy, his better halt, in high state
Of excitement:
Pat" says she, there's strange cal
ia the cabin" ,-
"Cast her out, thin; don't be botherin
me about the baste."
"Faix, an I've been thryin' to do that
for the matter Of tin minits past, but she
is beyant my rache, behind the big rid
chist in the corner. Will yez be after
helpin' me drive her out" -
ITO be sure l will; bad luck 10 the
consatc she has for me house. Show her
to me, Biddy, till l tache her the respect
that is due to man in his own house
to be taken possession without as much
as by your lave-the thafe O the world y
Now Pat had an antipathy to cats, and
never let All opportunity pass 10 kill one.
This he resolved TO do in the present
case, and instantly formed plan for the
purposes. Perceiving but one way of
egress for the animal, he says TO Biddy :
Have yez iver male-bag in the
house, my darlint 7"
"Divil one is there, Pat. Yez took
it to the mill wild yez, to bring home
chips, this mornin'"
''Faix, an did, and there il is vet.
thin. And have yez nOthin' AT all at Ali
in the house that will tie up like bag.
Troth an l have, Pat; there's me
Sunday petticoat we can ahraw the
strings close ut the top, an sure it win
be bctterSor not littin' the cat LAWN yez. ;
"Biddy, darlint', we're a level: inst
be after bringin il to me at wanst."
Biddy brought the garment, and. sure
enough, II made good substitute for a
bag. Pat declared at a glance that IL was
:" illigant." So, holding it close. against
the edge of the chest. he took look he
hind: and saw pair of eyes glaring up
OH him. ~
San is it there We are. We diyil? Be
ont o that, now, bad luck TO yez vc tha-
vim vagabond. Bedad, an We won't lave
1T all with perlite akin = yerseIf will
bate the pigs intirely. Biddy, have ycz
any hot wather 2" if fp - ~ -
"Snre. an ] have the full of a tay-kct.
tie all a bilin." ain -''s'' -
"Bc after castin' the matter Of ouart
thin. behind thist. and well see how the
baste minds the like o. that" II
How'd close, thin; hero goes the
steamin' hot wather'
SO saying, dash went the water. and
out came the animal into his trap.
"Arrah, be the howly poker have
We now. Is it nine live ye have, ,ye baste /?
Well, now, bc akin me pardon for all
the thavin' ye have bin doin' in me
house, or it's the nine lives will not save
ye. Biddy, seize honIt o. the poker. and
whilst shoulder the bag, lust whack
the day-lights out Of the hay then divil
entirely"
Pat threw the bundle over his shoul-
der, and Biddy struck about three blows
to the tune of est. Patrick's Day I'm the
Morning when she suddenly stopped.
" What smells so quare? Sure, it's
taken me breath away wild the power Of
it. 0, murther! it's the diyil We have
in the sack!r
Bate him, thin! Bate his horns off,
"I'm faintin' said Biddy; cast him of
ye." rn 4Hr
"Och, murthcr. murther! Biddy Ma
loney, what have We done? We've went
and mistaken horrid p0le-cat for n
harmless tame cat" Ct 100 an.s7 -4s1
Pat, for the love Of God, il We are
convanient to the door unclosc il, for
I'm poiisht entirely. O, that iyer did
lave ould ireland, TO be smothered and
in this wayi" aa
'Faix, the little william bates the diyil
himself; he's ruined me house, kilt me
ould woman, and put me out O. consate
wild me own self o, the murtherin' bad
baste." -t..,. .-.fl I'm --''''-'. -
BY dint of washing and securing, and
airing, and the burial of the best petti.
coat under the ground for a space Of
time, things were at length set to rights
again. But not little recrimination
took place between them on the occa-
sion, and neither ever forgot the expul-
sion from the cabin of Pat. Maloncy's
cat.
,rt NJ lr4 COnundrums.
OF How long can . goose stand on
Tn<At e