The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1870-06-06
The Whlttemore Club.
Written for The Democrat
NUMBER TWELVE.

Tie meeting was called to order by Mr.
Sugarfoot, who notified the Club that Mr..
Fetish should count noses. in order to
take the sense of the members MS to the
propriety Of having prayer before pro-
cceding TO business.
DR.. LENGTHY remarked that if Mr.
Fetish did "take the sense of the men,.
bers' lie wouldn't then have enough to
supply the chief engineer Of a second
class barnyard.
Mr.. DoasrnnY was opposed to any such
irrelevant remarks. DR.. Lengthy had
been prolific source of discorl to the
Club; and if he Or. Lengthy did not
confno himself to parliamentary language
and usages, he (Mr. Dogberry) would
commit him CDR. Lengthy t, warmer
precincts than those of Tommy Bigots
shop.
DR.. LEScruY-Nell, sir; if have
raised Ned in the Club, |. have not done
so in tho Republican party. have never
given aid and comfort to tho rebels by
making a split in our own ranks; all Of
which his distinguished judicial friend
(Alr. Dogberry) had been guilty of with
in the past few days.
Mr.. GYMpsoN-l'll take my davy, Mr..
President, i'll will hear my friend charged
on in this way. It's true that through
his agency l have lately come into posses
sion of an Office Of trust and cmolumcnt;
and it is also true that in order to get it,
Dir. D. G. Lurk had to be rubbed off tho
slate but I'll take my davy if aman who
has held as many Offices as he has oughtn't
to be glad to have q rest. .16'Sae
Mr.. D. G. LUX hero arose to his feet,
weeping; and in q broken voice desired
silence; so that he could put an end to
the storm which seemed inevitable.
The CHAIR-Silencc!
Il Mr.. D. G. LunK-Ahl Mr.. Dosbcrry;
'wo might have. been SO happy, so we
might. asag
Mr.. DooBEnny-Shoo, fly; dent bod
der me! .is, 4at -
: Mr.. D. G. LuRH--1 would say here,
my friends, that witlstading my
ruthless dccapitatiop, aud in spite of the
abuse which my quondan, friends ,cem
to desire to pour upon my devoted head, |
am still for peace. | have had tho "grins'
for the past few days; and I ask any man
here il they, too, would not feel like q
distracted pilgrim were they in my boots.
1t is but natural. my brcthcriug! To.
day we are; and tomorrow we arc not
the Judge givcth and the Judge taketh
away blessed be the name Of the Judge |!
Loud applause from Messrs. Gympson,
Fetish & Co. In the course Of my
weary pilgrimage on earth, many and oft
have been the bluffs and rebuGs with
which l Lave come in contact; and al
though none have been Of SO serious a
character as this, -cndeavor-to-bcar
-up-under -thc-.afliction with-bc.
coming-fortitude. Here Mr.. D. g.
LunK was ovcrpowered by his feeling.
and tainted. Dr.. Lengthy Immediately
applied the usual rcstorativcs; and after
a short time he recovered, when Dir.
rrickler wrapped him up in late copy
Of the Wheeling Lutelligeueer, and laid
him on the shelf for future refercncc.]
DR.. LrScrlir-Mr. Chairman, / appeal
TO you-I appeal to every member Of this
Club, if you can look at tho contents Of
that shelf [pointiug to the shelf where Mr..
D. 9. Lurk was laJing] and say that the
action Of Mr.. Dcgbcrry was Republican
in form. Asa loyal mnn-as q man ia
voring equal and exact justice to all per-
sons not Democrats, regardless Of race,
sex, color, or previous condition Of scrvi-
tudc, protest against such prccedents.
Tam
Mr.: G. RAzr-1 beg pardon Of my dis
tinguished and learned friend aud follow
er Of Esculapius, for interrupting him ;
and If he will permit me, desire to ask
Mr.. Gympson what steps he has taken in
regard to the appointment Of Deputy.
Our great leader, tie President Of the
United States, has set us good example
TO keep everything in the why Of Office
in tho family-to sons-in-law or brothers.
in.law Q
Mr.. GrMpsoS-I havo tho honor to
have two in-law, both prominent
members Of this Club; and Of course, one
Of them will be my Deputy, though they
are both SO deserving thatI scarcely know
which to take. However, my pussy friend
from the big brick, may take his davy