The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-07-21
NIEGrLLANEuuS iTEMs.


FoR \ WEDDING SoSG--Lcye knot.
TIE HoME MELoDrsT The baby.
How TO MAKE A FIRE Hor-Kecp ii
cOeled.
TIE BEST CURE voR VANIIY-Bc pho
tographci.
TaE man who tore his coat thinks rents
are Increasing.
She VINO can compose g cross baby Is
greater than she who composes books.
IT is ioanly here, as tho sentimental
paEnbrokcr's daughter said Ct her fathers
shop.
A Sign in Grand Haven, Mich, reads
as follows: "Steme Bote Offs Knoxt
Bildiag."
A SHARP young fellow says, I" If tine il
money" he is willing to exchange little
OF his for cash.
To avoid anxiety in sickness and health,
DC insured IN the Washington Life Insur-
ance Company, Of New York.
ENTERTAINING DoUBTs - Rubbish
Doubts arc very far from being center
taining;" they're extremely annoying.
TIE most direct metho! of determining
horse power. Stand behind and tickle
his hind legs with brias.
Do yOu want to sec your Wits smiles !?
Secure her from poverty BY a policy in
the Washington Lite, of New York.
TIE latest marriage announcements
read thus: No cards, no cake. 40 pres
euts, no Wedding trip, 10 honeymoon, 10
divorce.
IT Is said that all japanese women can
read, write aud cipher. An exchange
{ In Hoo ,,,a1 ciCrt,-
them" Oh,
Mr. s., is your customer D. man to
be trusiei?' al know Of no one more
SO. He is to be trusted foreyer-he never
pays"
IT is said that experienced husbands
can tell when their wives are about to ask
for money, by the way they purse their
mouths.
A REvENGEFUL individual, in the ext
b. rance of his rage at some one who had
offended him, said "I'll have revenge.
I'll do something terrible. III give his
little boy tin horn :"
A GIRL, hearing the lady OF her house,
at dinner, ask her husband 10 bring &" Dom
hey and son" with him when he came
home to tea, lad two extra plates on the
table for the supposed visitors.
/ A CoEoNER's jury in Allegheny c0un
| ty, Pennsylvania, rendered verdict that
/ "the deceased came to His death by hang
ing, which was caused by his wifes scOid
ing the deceased because he was late to
tea"
"AH, my dear fellow" said an Old man
once TO friend, / am weak and broken
down with age. used to walk entirely
round the park every day; but now can
1 wall
again"
TIE practice of distillcry hands O
bathing after working hours i'll the vat>
oil whisky, not only reircshes and clean s.
es the men, but adds to the body of tn
liquor"
Il MAN in South ITadiey, who has jus
got out of a lawsuit, wants to obtain 6
large framed picture of cow, with on.
client ut the head and the other at The tail
pulling. and the lawyers meanwhile quiet
ly milking.
ScHEr.I., the artist, is likewise punster
When with some OF his brethren on
sketching, one Of the club proposed t
remain and sketch another landscape
ION, no" said Schell, lets sketch tn,
train"
A CONNECfICUT editor, commenting
upon bHc ldcJ Lha-L IL rival JOURNALIST II
rapidly Cdltvating champion bald head
inquiries: What's the use of man haV
ing hair, anyway, when he can fold hi
ears over the top of his beadY'
One of Disraeli's admirers, in speaking
about him TO John Bright, said: You
ought to give him credit for what he has
accomplished, as he is selfmade man.
al know he isl retorted Mr. Bright, "ant
ne adores his maker"
DOES your officiating clergyman
preach the gospel, aud is his conversation
and carriage consistent Herewith ?" was Q
circular from bishop to church Warden
OF his diocese. A veteran near by replied
He breaches The gospel, but does mol
Keep carriage"
WHY are doctors called physicians
mammal" said little inquisitive girl &c
her mother, who had just been visited by
one OF them. Physicians" replied
mamma, who was seldom at q loss for an
answer, comes from feeseek, as the doc
tors ride about all day to seek feesp
MORE people are killed by LIGHTNING
than is commonly supposed. Accordina
to some recently published statistics more
than 10000 people have been smitten by
] the electric fuid within the past thirty