The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1870-12-10
It the 1Hest Improbable

things he could invest in. zHE1zs
Once when. he was on his way to Sun.
day School he saw some bad boys start
ing off pleasuripg in sail boat lie
was filed with CONSERVATION, because he
knew from his reading that boys who
went sailing on Sundays invariably got
drowned. So he ran out on raft TO warn
them, but a log turned with him and slid
him into the river 4 nfun got him ou t
pretty soon. and the doctor pumped the
! water out OF hin, and gave him Il fresh
start with his bellows, but he caught cold
and lay sick abed nine weeks But the
most unaccountahie thing about it was
that the bad boys in the boat had good
time all day. and then reached home
alive aud well in the most surprising
manner. Jacob Blcvins said there was
nothing like these things In the books.
He was perfectly duubiounded.
When he got we'll he was little dis
4 couraged, but he resolved to keep on
trying, anyhow. He knew that so far
! his experience wouldnt do 10 60 into a
| book, but he hadn t yet reached the ul-
lotted erm Of lie for good little boys,
aud he hoped to be able to make record
yet if he could hold on until his time
was fully up. L everything else failed,
be had his dying speech to fall back on.
He examined his authorities and found
that it was nov time to 20 TO sea as a
cabin boy. He called on ship capta;n
and made his application, and when the
captain asked for his recommendation he
proudly drew out IA tract, ard sointed IL
the words To jacob Bleyins, from his
affectionatc teacher" But the captain
mo 4 on
that lie blowed, that wasn't any proof that
he knew how to wash dishes or handle a
siush bucket, and he guessed lie didn't
want him " This was altogether the
most extraordinary thing that ever hap
pencd to jacob IN ali his life 4 CON-
rinaent from telcher or IL tract had
ne yer failed to,move the tcndcrest emo
tiut.s OF ship captains. aud open the way
! to all oaices OF honor aEd profit in their
2ife--it never had III any book that he
had read. lie could hardly beiieve lis
senses.
This boy always had hard time of
it. Nothing ever came out according to
the authorities with him. At last, one
day, when he was aronad hunting up bad
littlc boys to a'imonsh, he found IA lot OF
them in the old iron fogndry fzirg up
little inke on fourteen or fifteen dogs,
which they had tied together in a long
procession, and were eoing to ornament
with empty nirto-g lycctine cans made
fast to their tails, .Jaeob : heart was
touched. lie sat down on oHe Of those
cans-for he never minded grease when
duty was before him-and he took hold
Of the foremost dog BY the collar, turning
| his rcpovlng eye upon wicked Easa
Jones. But just at that moment Alder
maa New elter, full Of wrath, stepped in
All the bad boys ran a.Tay; but Jacob
/ Blevins rose in conscience innocence and
! BEGAN one Of those stately little Sunday
1 School book speeches, which always com
i mence with "Oh Sir ~ in dead opposi
/ ton 10 the fact that 30 boy. gcse or
| bad, ever starts remark with '-Oh Sir
p. But the alderman never waited to hear
! the rest. lie took Jacob Dlevens by the
I ear. and turned him around, and hit him
IL whack in the rear with the fat Of his
/ hand aud ia an instant that good little
/ boy shot out the roci' aud scared away
| towards the sun, with the fragments OF
those fifteen dogs stringine after him like
/ the tail Of a Kite. Aud there wasn't a
! sign OF that a alderman or that old iron
/ foundry left on earth and as for young
/ Jacob Blevcns, he never got chance TO
make his lsst dying speech, after all his
trouble fixing it up, unless he made it 10
the birds, because, although the bulk of
him came down all right III a tree top in
an adjoining town, the rest of him was
apportioned around among four different
townships, and SO they had to hold five
inquests on him to find out whether he
was dead or not, and how it occurred
You never saw a boy scattered SO.
Thus perished the good little boy who
did the best he could, but didn't come
out according to the books. Every boy
who ever did as he did prospered except
him. His case is truly remarkable. 1t
will probably never be accounted for.
Q