Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-08-31
Wit and Humor.
NEwARK, Ohio, counts 5000.

A-"NAIsAA5 SGASJ SotAnls C,UJUs
ga TALE of the Period"-spctted Tai
Social tinder boxes Wooden tenemen
houses.
How to keep your own counsel-Be Ii
beral with your fees.
For use in re- constructing the seat O
war-the needle gun.
FIsK's Twelve Temptations" don't tak,
among the ton at the Branch.
THE Indian tribe of Connecticut or.
camped near New London. There are one
OF hiEa. ''-o 0'ie
The bottom has again been in the thsr
momefer, and the mercury aspires to high.
er things. - -'s' i
A WISCONSIN editor says; "For the
greater part of our editorial matter tbis
morning see to-morrow's paper"
A LONG ISLAND bigamist married one
woman twice and two women once. He is
refeo'ing upon their virtues in gaol.
DANA says England has lost all weight in
the scale OF European politics, and has be-
came the tin peddler of Christendom.
A PEORIA man has had revelation
that he IS TO aio August Is, 1871, and has
MS tombstone lettered to that effect.
LEE census talk RS, with great unanim-
| lily, testify that thus far twenty-six is the
maximum aged attained By any unmarried
ladies,
The Hon. Robert Toomba, Georgia, re
Gently attempted to cowhide a Methodist
preacher, and was choked until he was
| black in the face.
THAT is very fine watch said one
negro to another; show MUCK did they
| charge for it?" Dunno" was the answer,
DE nan wasn't in de store when thought
HE French enamellers guarantee 'fper-
manant beauty" for 500 francs 1t takes a
month, during which the patient ssnaust
cot think OF washing, nor even blow her
nose"
A YOUNG gentleman in Louisville is ad.
vertised TO marry a Breckenridge county
belle in the Mammoth Cave. This (says
an exchange) looks like running matrim-
ony into the ground.
The richest man in Chicago is in hard
luck. Last week he had q base ball club
named after him, and now it is announced
that he has married q Chicago woman
Mlsioftunes never come singly.
WHAT lovely little snowdrop that is.'
said q friend to wit as blonde beauty.
with flowing tresses, passed them. "a
snow-dropr said the other, 81 should say
she was hair belle"
PERSON who was sentto prison for mar
rylng two wives excused himself bv saying
that wnen he had one she fought him,
but when he got two they fought each
other"
''WAR," says sentimental FrencLmap,
''is the great diyoroer of husbands and
wives" We certainly know of nothing,
with the exception of Chicago, that is bet
ter adapt edto the business.
A FESTIVE youth in Washington, the 9TH
eT day, insisted upon hugging al theladies
IN street car, and when the conductor put
him off he called him sold sport and as
sured him he was hUnkidory.
AN exchange says "Wyoming, having
tried female jurors, now proposes to send
woman to Congress. II the woman has
done any thing that the laws of Wyoming
are not sufficiently stringent to properly
punish, send her to Congress by all means
: and may God have mercy on her."
Some one proposes that one of the New
York street railroads provide palace cars,
hoe 10 be ctoWueu, IN Wnfch passenger
may secure comfortable seat by paying
ten cents above the usual fare. There is q
dim impression on our minds that the
street railroad companies are bound to
provide seats for passengers for the regular
fare.
A young man in Missouri, who had been
adopted from infancy by rich widow, re-
Gently discovered that he was not her son,
and having failed to induce her to furnish
him with particulars of his birth and
parentage, set out on journey in quest of
his relatives. He accidentally fell in with
his only brother, and learned all he de-
sired from him. The probability is that
he may assume still closer relation to the
widow, now that he kpows he is not her
son.