Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1870-01-07
The Harp of a Thousand Strings.

1t is time to reprint again the famous
Hardshell Baptist sermon. The world will
never cease to read and laugh at it:
SERMON
I may say to you, my brethering, that I
am not an edecated man, an am not one
of them that believes edecation is necessary
for Gospel minister, fur [ bleeve the Lord
edecates his preachers jest as he wants 'em
to be edecated an although I say it that
oughtn't to say it, yet in the state ofIndian-
ny, whar l live, thar's no man as gifts a
bigger congregation nor what gifts.
Thar may be some here to-day, my
brethering, as don't know what persuation
I am Nv. Well. I may say to you, my
brethering, that I am Hard-shcll Baptist
Thar's some folks as don't like Hard-shell
Baptists but I'd rather hev hard shell
than no she'll at all. You see me here to-
day, my brethering, drest up in fine close !:
you mout think was proud, but I am not
proud, my bretheri1g; an though have
been preacher Nv the Gospel for twenty
years, an although I'm capting Nv fat
boat that lies at your landing, Pm not proud,
my brethering.
I'm not going to tell you edzackly whar
my tex may be found: suffice it ter say its
in the Bible, an you'll find it somewhat
between the first chapter of the book of Gen.
erations an the last chapter of the book of
Revolutions an if you'll go an sarch the
Scriptures you'll not only find my tex thar,
but great many other texes as will do you
good to read; an my tex when you shall
find it to read thus
sAnd he played on a harp of thousand strings
Spertts ofJust men made perfeck." .
My tex. brethering, leads me to speak of
sperits. Now theirs great many kind of
sperits in the world. In the fust place,
thar's the sperits as some folks call ghosts !;
then thar's the sperits of turpingtne and
thar's sperits as some call Ticker, an I've
got as good an article w them kind Nv
sperits on my fat boat as ever was fetched
down the Mississippi River; but thar's a
great many kind Nv sperits, for the tex says;
"He played upon harp of thousand
strings-sperits Of just men made perfeck."
But I'll tell you the kind of spirits as is
meant in the tex, my brethren-it's fire
That is the kind of spirits as it is meant in
the tex, my brethering. Now, thar's a
great many kinds Nv fire in the world. In
the first place thar's the common sort Nv fire
you light pipe or cigar with an then thar's
camfire; fire before you are ready to fall
back, an many other kinds Nv fire; for the
tex says: "He played on harp Nv thou
sand strings-sperits ofjust men made per-
feck."
But I'll tell you the kind of fire as is
meant in the tex, my brethering-it's hell
fire. An that's the kind Nv fire as great
many of you'll come to eff you don't do bet
ter nor what you've been a doin'-for "He
played on harp Nv thousand strings
sperits Nv just men made perfeck"
Now the different sorts Nv fire in the world
may be likened unto the different persuasions
in the world. In the first place we have the
Piscopalians, an there high sailin' an a
highfalutin' set, an they may be liked unto
turkey buzzard that flies up into the air
an he goes up an up till he looks no bigger
nor your fnger-nail, an the first thing you
know he comes down an down, an is film
hisself on the karkiss Nv ded boss by the
side Nv the road-an' "He played on harp
of thousand strings-sperits of just men
made pcrfeck."
An thar's the Methodist an they may be
likened unto the squirrel runnin' up tree ;
for the Methods bleeves in gwine on from
one degree Of grace to another, an finally
on to perfection an the squirrel goes up,
an jumps from limb to limb, an branch to
branch, an the fust thing you know he falls,
and down he comes kerfummax, an that's
like the methods for they is alters fallin'
from grace-ah AN he played on harp
Nv thousand string -sperits of just men
made perfeck"
An, then, my brethering, thar's the Bap-
fist, ah an they have been like unto pos
sum on 'simmon tree; an the thunders
may roll, an the airth quake, but the pos
sum clings thar still-ah !! An you may
shake one foot loose, but t'other's thar; an
you may shake all his feet loose, but he laps
his tail around the limb. an he clings thar
forever; for "He played on harp Nv. q
thousand strings-sperits of just men made
perfeck."