Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-09-01

with lightning could enable man to
handle his conversational style with
impunity. He then figured up an es-
innate. and that about eight more rods
scattered about my roof would about fix
me right, and he guessed five hundred
feet ofstuff would do it; and added that
the first eight had gotta little the start
of him, so to speak, and used up mere
trifie of material more than he had cal
culated on-a hundred feet or long there
1 said l was in dreadful hurry and l
wished we could get this business per-
manently mapped out so that 1 could
go on with my work. He said: 1 could
have put up those eight rods, and
marched off about my business-someI
men would have done it. But no, L
said TO myself, this man is stranger to
me, and will die before I'll wrong him;
there amt lightning-rods enough on
that house ,and for one, Tll never stir
out of my tracks till I've done as
would be done by, and told him so.-I
Stranger, my duty is accomplished; if
the recalcitrart and dephlogistic mes
senger of Heaven strikes you-"There,
now, there," I said, put on the other
eight-add five hundred feet of spiral
twist-do anything and everything you
want to do; but calm your sufferings
and try to keep youe feelings where you
can reach them with the dictionary.
Meanwhile, if we understand each other
now, will go to work again." I think
L have been sitting here a full hour, this
time, trying to get back to where was
when my train of thought was broken
up by the last interruption, but L be-
lieve have accomplished it at last and
may venture to proceed again.] wrestied
with this great subject, and the greatest
among them have found it worthy
adversary and one that always comes
up fresh and smiling after every throw.
The great Confucius said that he would
rather be profound political eeono mist
than chief of police; Cicero frequ emily
said that political economy was the
grandest consummation that the hG-
man mind was capable of consuming;
and even our own Greeley has said
vaguely but forciby that
Here the lightning-rod man sent up
another call for me. L went down in a
state of mind bordering on impatieuce.
He said that he would rather have died
than interrupt me, but when he was en-
ployed to do job, and that job was ex-
pected to done in a clean, workmanlike
manner, and when it was finished and
fatigue urged him to seek the rest and
recreation he stood SO much in need of,
and he was about to do it, but looked
up and saw at a glance that al the cal
culation had been little out and if a
thunder storm were to come up and that
house which he felt personal interest
in stood there with nothing on earth to
protect it but sixteen lightning rods
LET us have peace!" L shrieked. "Put
up hundred and fifty! Put some on
the kitchen! Put dozen on the barn !!
Put couple on the cow!-put one on
the cooks cater them all over the
p erst cuted place till it looks like zinc
plated, spiral-twisted, silver-mounted
cane-brake! Move! Use up all the ma
terial you can get your hands on, and
when you run out of oflightning-rods put
up tn ram-rods, cam-rods, stair rods,
piston-rods-anything that will pander
to your dismal appetite for artificial
scenery and bring respite to my raging
brain and healing to my lace rated soul!
Wholly unmoyed-further than to smile
sweetly-this iron being simply turned
back his wristbands dainty and said he
would now proceed to hamp himself"
Well, all that was nearly two hours ago.
It is questionable whether Pm calm
enough to write on the noble them of
political economy, but cannot resis.
the desire to try, for it is the one subject
that is nearest to my heart and dearest
to my brain of all this worlds philos-
ophy. political economy is heavens
best boon to man." When the loose but
gifted Byron lay in his Venitian exile,
he observed that if, it could be granted
him to go back and live his misspent
life over again, he would give his lucid
and unintoxicated intervals to the COM
position, not of frivolous rhymes, but of
essays upon political enomy. Washing
ton loved this exquisite science; such
names as Baker, Beckwith Judson,
Smith, are imperishably linked with it;
and even the imperial Homer, in the
ninth book of the "IIiad," has said:
Fiat Justitia, ruat coelum,
Post mortum unnm, ante bellum,
p Hic jacet hoe eX-parte res,
Poll icum e-conomico est.
The grandeur of these conceptions of
the old poet, together with the felicity
of the wording which clothes them and
the sublimity of the imagery whereby
they are illustrated, have singled out
that stanzs and mad it more celebrated
than any that ever
l"Now, not a word out of you-not a
single word. Just state your bill and
relapse into impenetrable silence for
ever and ever on these premises. Nine
hundred dollars! Is that all? This check
for the amount will be honored at any
respectable bank in America What is
that multitude of people gathered in
the street for? How?-'looking at the
lightning rods!' Bless my life, did they
never see any lightning-rods before?
Never saw such stack of them on one
establishment, did L understand you to
say? will step down and critically
observe this popular ebullition of ignor !