The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1870-10-25
VI Quad's Legend of a baggage
Smasher.

This Bumps was a nice young man. We
held him in awe-we boys did. If
Bumps said anything the whole town
swore it was so if he didn't say anything
we all stood back and waited for devclor.
ments
AT last he went away his uncle used
his influence to get him position as bag.
gage master. never heard of him for
years, when L was called in one day to see
him die. ! found him mere skeleton
his eyes were like saucers his hair was
all torn off from tearing round in the bed
SO. He drove everybody out of the room,
and then bade me string my nerves 10
hear most mournful tale. He went en-
the railroad pure young man. He took
charge of the trunks and boxes, and com.
menced by lifting them by the handles
and setting them down carefully. He
had only served about month when the
President of the road called him into his
office, and cut down his salary, and told
him if there was any more complaints
from the conductor, Bumps would be
bumped out of his berth. The Young
man grew cold and stern he was bound
to suit that railroad corporation or die.
lie began by walking up to an old chest
belonging to an orphan and putting his
foot through the corners the conductor
saw the act the two shook hands and
wept for hours on each others Jreasts.
Bumps had not made two trips before
he could sling a satchel eleven rods, re.
tanning both handles IN his grasp M,,o.
rent owners of such things threatened
him. and swore they woold never ride on
that road again; but Bumps was firm
he was dignifed; he was solemn he was
working for higher sphere; he was
'reoding in the path Of duty.
When gentle females would hang up
their tender little baskets and satchels,
Bumps would smile diabolical smile
get into corner and jump on the arti.
ces, kick and fling them about. And
when the train stopped he would throw
out watcr-pail of tooth-brushes to an.
swer the call of check "22." Husband.
struck at him and dared him out of his
den; but Bumps was solemn he knew
his line OF business. When he got hold
OF nice trunk his countenance was grave
as Judge, and flush as strawberry. He
would jurk off one handle, then another,
then kick III the ends, then take an axe
and smash the back, and let the shirts and
things rattle out on the track
He got so that people actually paid
high prices for the privilege of living Oh
the line of that road, as they got their
shirts for nothing; all that was needed
was to have the children follow up
Bumps train.
But there was dark day for Bumps
A. miserable, contemplate, sneakiDg
wretch, who owned saw-mll and nail
factory, went travelling. He ran his fac.
tory for two weeks on nothing but trunk
stuff, and brought out the wickedest
trunk that ever went into car. 1t was
seven feet thick all around, and there
were sixteen nails driven in, one on top
of the other He gave it into Bumps
hands, charging him to " be very careful
if he pleased" The train started Bumps
got his axe as usual and struck at the
lid, but the axe bounded back, he struck
once more, the axe flew in pieces Then
he got crowbar and can of powder,
but he couldn't burst a nail he swore
and jumped up and down, and wished he
had never been born. He got all the
train men in; they all pounded, but the
trunk was too much for them. 1t went
through all right. 1t was handed down
without jam, and the owner was there
to say thank you SIR and pretended
he was going back again, and had the
thing checked for the return trip.
Bumps grew pale, and sick his legs
shook The trunk went back the witness
of mans inhumanity to man. Bumps
grew worse. He felt that he was forever
disgraced, and went to bed with train
fever They tried to console him, and
said that they could have burst the trunk
if they had only thought to have had
collision, but the spirit of the poor man
was gone. was there when he died.
The president and conductor, and railroad
men were all there never saw men
weep as they wept then. He Just sunk
right away murmuring, "Cuss that
TRUNK"