New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1870-07-31
JONATHAN IN CHINA.
He Gives his Most Offensive National
Traits an Airing Before a Mandarin.

A correspondent now in China relates the
| following episode of visit 10 high Chi
| nese official:
The Mandarin we called on was tail and
| thin, with fearful black eyes. ard lad
guards at his door ike a commander IN
! European armies. He received us cordially.
but with naughty air, and called for tea,
| rice, oranges, lches, and walnuts, with va
\ riOus bowls, plates, and chop sticks. The
| agreement had been made between us by
| which Lem was TO say nothing unless
| spoken to. But he broke his promise and
the enjoyment Of the feast by monopolizing
nearly all the time with odd questions
| that only he could think Of The inrerpre-
ter was good-natured fellow, and did not
wish to offend Lem. whose quizzing was
nevertheless a bore. Lem wanted to know
| if Hon. Mr.. Mandarin ever smoked Viz
| ginia twist The Mandarin never had: SO
| Lem gave him Il pipe full from his tobacco
! box.
| Did the madarin have two wives Were
| his children ever sick Wasn't the measles
| thick here in May! didn't the figs grow
| wild hereabout where was he born hadn't
| he ever thought the Chinese had cussed
way of showing their smartness did he
| ever play on a banjo or pianer! how
| would he like to live III America and where
did the old chap live that run this ere
province p And hundred other questions
| all OF which the matlarin answered with
| dignity. After a while l improved an op-
| portunity to ask the madarin if he had read
| any of the TRANSACTIONS from English al
| thors. religious or otherwise He SAID lie
had read a part OF our Bible. and was going
on to say something else after tie nterpre-
ter should have reported that 20 US. but
Lem broke il just then, and as near as can
| recollect the following conversation oc-
Cured:
Lem-'.Tell the Hon. Mr.. Mandarin that
this chap lpointing TO mel pretends TO he a
literary fellow and writes for the press
Mandarin-'I am glud TO hear it. True
greatness is shown by scholastic accom-
| plishments.'
Lem-"Tell the old fellow that America
has a cussed lot of such 1ellers. and little
store do the people put by 'em. nu1her.
They wound be some pumpkins in China,
Supposed
Here the interpreter was obliged to he
prompted on the meaning of the term
some pumpkins
Mandarin-'Yes, great men in China pass
examination for literary standing, and have
diplomas -
Lem-'.I be cussed if ever saw China
man that knew beans
MISUNDERSTANDING do you mean by
beans! ~
LeLu- Ion you Know what beans IS,
you fool They grow in China
The interpreter here told the mandarin
either what Lem said or something else.
which evidently displeased him, and he
looked very cross for a moment, and then
said, 'Chinamen may know more than Mr.
Mellican Thinks Lem saw that he was
treading on dangerous ground and so mend
matters he only made them worse by saying
that he was only fooling.''
That was the last drop in the vessel
already too full, and the idea of Lem irving
to fool him. the mandarin burst out in tit
OF anger. seized a tea cup, gave some orders
to the servants, and jerking his hat from his
head. dashed out OF the room in a trench
dous furry. The servants gathered up the
dishes OF fruit and tea and left us all alone
in the audience room of the mandarins
yamun, not knowing but our heads would
be demanded to appease the anger of the
Chinese official. At the suggestion OF the
interpreter we took our hats, and walked
out unmolested, and rather hastily made
our way to the European stores on the
wharves. Lem, when l scolded him for his
behavior, said that he thought the Old
Teller was mighty particular and he
would not admit that he had behaved in
decorOusly.