Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-06-11
WEAVERVIILE CALIFORNIA, SATURDAY, JUNE H. 1870.
Our Friends Friends.

1t is curious fact but it is fact, that, as Il
general rule, there few people so Disagree
able to us as our friends 5 friends. The merest
stranger has a better chance of exciting a kindly
+ interest in our breasts than the most valued
friend of dearest friend. We hardly ac-
knowledge this to ourselves still less would we
permit our feelings to be known to the world.
When some one who has been praised before
hand is introduced by friend, we answer, ''Any
friend of yours is welcome - . am delighted
to make the acquaintance of one of whom have
learned SO much or some polite phrase of this
KIND; but while we give utterance to the con-
ventionaiSm, are conscious of the latent
prejudice against the stranger.
To this secret jealousy between friends the
author of Redlmdh, in passing allusion to the
subject, gives the name of claimutiVe an nddi-
| tion to the language for which we are much n-
debted to him. 1t is felt more or less by the
majority Of mankind, but in some sensitive diff
fdent natures, it is intensified to "A painful de-
gree Men of poetic temperament are more
apt to suffer from this unhappy disposition than
their more prosac neighbors. Now clNmatve
people are over refined and sensitive they are
not only kneely alive 10 all intentional sights,
but they imagine insults that are never meant,
and not untrequently suppose that they them
selves have given ohense when such is not the
case; taxing themselves with some trlling omis-
sion, which probably nobody noticed but them
selves.
And one who possesses claimative friend
knows that he is not the pleasantest sort of ac-
quaintance one could have, but for the sake of
his good and noble qualities we bear with his
crotchets. When you invite him to your house.
he notes whether his reception is as cordial as
usual, and whether you pay more attention to
other guests. If he hears that you have con-
ided in, or consulted any other friend he feels
hurts that he had not been first acquainted with
the matter. If he passes you in II public assem-
bly, while yon are conversing with any one, he
thinks you saluted him coldly. II he sees you
Intimate with other people, he comes to the con
clusiOn that these " new friends must ncCes-
sarily superscde him in your esteem. II you are
dull or out Of spirits in his company, he thinks
you are veXed with him, and silence he inter
prctS sulkness.
Your clamativc friend is an exemplary CORE
spondent, while you perhaps are pot and it,
when from home for any length of time, you DO
not transmit an account of yourself to him rcgu-
lurly, he feels deeply wounded, and tells you re-
prOachtully that the pursuit of money, ambition
or pleasure would never induce him to forget an
early friend. II he meets with any reverse of
fortune, he takes it for granted that his friends
intend to drop his acquaintance; he carefully
avoids meeting You, and, if it happens accident
ally, he crosses to the other side Of the street.
and won't look in your direction till you catch
him by the arm. These are the unplcasAntness
aPpertanlng to II caimatve friend but they
are Outbalanced by his sterling qualities-a high
sense OF honor, II scrupulous conscientiouncss,
generosity, sincerity and tender-heartedncss
almost wOmanl y-that secures for him the for
bearance which is extended towards the weaker
sex, not because he is weak, but because it is
the atfcctonateness Of his nature which makes
him SO cXactiuE.
These finely strung natures suffer; they some
times weary us with thei: complaints, but they
do not cry out half SO often as they are hurt;
and they do not feel the less kcenly because their
wnunHs ara nftpn inflicted llut while We
compassionate, we cannot but condemn habit
Of mind so destructive to the happiness of its
owner. Instead of recognizing it as II fault OF
character, and trying to check his jealous ten
dencies, the claimativc man plumcs himself on
his proud reserve and his quickness to take of
fcnse. The stag would not barter his beauty,
his grace, his fecness, for the thick impenetra-
BILE skin of the rhnoceros, which no weapon can
wound so he hugs aud cherishcs the delicate
sensiblity till it grows into grave fault. I'm
derneath his bashfu reserve there is II latent
vanity, consciousness of unrecognizcd merit,
mingling with IL want of confidence in his own
power of commanding respect. 1t is not mod
esty but pride which keeps him from putting
himself forward and claiming his proper posi-
tiOn. II you do not recognize his worth, ii is
not for him to make it known to you he will
not condescend to compete with rivals whom he
holds in contempt if you could thiRk him ca
pable of such ana such, it would be hardly worth
have so misinterpretcd his actions, how could he
ever hope to be properly understood by your
And so he wraps his soul in such mantle Of
reserve that his friends
'Beeye him changed Ia heart and tone,
And leave him, while it burns as true,
10 live alonel 10 live alonel'
He believes himself to be "misunderstood - by
every body and so he is to a certain extent but
it is chiefly the fault Of his own rctcence; and
moreover, he msunderstands others quite
often as they do him.
la reality, the claimative character only ex-
periences in exaggerated degree II feeling
common to all mankind 1t is, doubtless,
proof of the innate selfshness Of the human
heart, that we do not like any one to occupy'so
high place in our friends esteem or affection
as do Jealousy is II species Of selfshness
which, though not so gross as other phases OF
the disorder is more insidious because IL cloaks
itself under the name of love. Even in its mild
est form it ought to be guarded against. We
ought to try TO like our friends friends for their
sakes, and take it for granted that they who
know them longest are best able to estimate
their worth. 1t would contribute very much to
kind feeling, if we could extend to socical inter-
course some of the federation which we are be-
ginning to experience in politics and religion,
aud endeavor in all the relations Of life to regard
friendss friends as ours also.
CRIYoLINE DowN. Yesterday a lady while
promenading along the ledge of rock just west
of Union street, met with very Notifying ac-
.id Dv utig tha heel nf ber m ulb or