The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1870-02-07
Homo. Reading,

- = Ill III
Vices do not pay the, sin is. less sweet.
than we fanciea, aud it costs moro than /,
we bargaiued for.
:. 4 Dostor at Dubuque, Iowa, used q
stomaci pun tor two. hours Oh ia,mats.a
killed bytEs sars, and then he hal to
reckon ,ka! life was utterly extinct!Hlptfi
u a sentimental gentleman intends TO Pc
,iton Congress 10 improve the channel Of
affection, 50 that hcpcefos,h the "courso
Of true love muy run smooth" ~ e3s
a six syllable rooster describes an oys-
ter as n '.mdrine acepbaops llollusc oftha
!auelli branchiase order oftho genus os-
trsss." How's that for high :? y l''
!, .Thegspleman who i,Grod a. random"
I'D rot 81. iI,,aad ,iu disgust, he lent bis
rife to the youth who had determined to
cain at Immortality" V '''' 81 g t-if
,"Mothcr,' said little child, '".why ARD
orphans the happisst Of nchildren% Y q
"They arc mot; bat why Do you think they 2
are. my child :" "Recauss they have no
pareuis ,o lick en-" 'r' Wy ~
j. Washington ,negress was asked if sbe
would not prefer TO be mulatto. She res
piled: eyes, il they didn't, wrinkle up
just like white folks" -i 3's'H9i :
. Ayoung divorcc.s.eking .colored woman
Of Cincinnatti plead her nwu case us fol-
lows: "Judgo, I cant love dat dar mig.
ger; be kicked me in do ribs once till he
.loosened all ny ins!des." y .'H,
er 92,,g'3 =. u s. pa ..g,ts st.. =
4, The word State spelled backward is
Flats in French 1t isnotl safe. heweyertg
TO undertake to learn French simply by :,
going back on yout English.
IA Denver bully ,hpl e,man Sho refused
to drink with him, and then said: "Grcats !
h,ayens! am | never 10; come toiDenyer "a
without being obliged; to kill somebody"
Emma" said loye-sick Yankeeto q
girl who had red hair. ''keepe away. orr
you'll .setsmc on fire" "i,"Noi danger Of 9
hat-you're too green to buru,,i''freplisd
Emma. u,.7,j y .,,.,,.rrtu ~. H.,
A physician, at. Janes,ills, ,Wiscossin.
keeps fruit-cakcin his office to treatpa-
.ipnts on. ,,That'slthc most delicatco Hay
ne have. heard Of for a doctor TO- get his,
blue pillsiiIto a man. .uaaEares, but busi-
ness is business. III,
IA Wisconsin paper wants q lss passed i
that mo child; shall be born without tho,
child's consent. whereat . bachelor editor,
indorscs the idea, provided that the Law.
sHall apply only 10 children that llaye or. r
rired at the age of discretion. Talented
editors out there 90 no o. %isfl 'el sbHsiH'
nj There is one single fact which one may
oppose to all The wit aud argument Of in.
6delity-numely y: that no man ever re-
pentcd being a Christian On lis doathbed.
a.s:;'why do you not not adm i,dmriTes my d.ugh-
serT' said q proud mother to gentle-
man. "Bec,use." he replied. slam no.
Judge Of paintings 'tBut- surely ro-
piled the lady, no. in the feast discon-J 7
cettcd. by this rude reflection 'syou'aover5
san an aagel that vas mo-, painted 5ig
13iA wisa clergyman. nov dcc.a.cd. once
,aid :"'I have ilearnedtto preach sotbas
Peoplc. could not only understand lnewhcnti
they wanted TO, but also that they could
not misunderstood inc if they wanted to-"
tli"Thoueh it may not bein your possr.siii
said Marcus Aurelus, Ito be nntural..
ist, a poot.'au orator. or q mathematician, 4
it is in your power to 10 o ,yirtuous mon, Z
which is dthc bs,ta Of Of a,lN.s s,,tasc, odT N
RefIIdr.fcta bridegroom lon secirg the
BRIDES iight,gown night-capsqnud other
instrumsn Of torture, took lanjanulu an,l
tried 10. get out oft, but ths stomach.
pumped Tim ahd brought him 10 time,
She said no uan was goihg back on her in
that uay.
A juror at W0tcrtown. New York .a
forty years Of agc, said he l!atn'i had y =,
newspaper in lis house fol eight years.
Tie voted for dtaht flpTnilIi Ii..ilesrsny." ~
ssucll d man Should te disqualified from sl
sitting. on anything gaI biqeiihi qdt VI
"A F.eneh wr:Hr li.sga' tliaf to i1rea,n