davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24


Pope Plus TX was made Mason in Phil
adelphia in 1915. 81
"A rural Vermont clergyman has abolish.
ed the bass viol from the choir, because il
made think OF dancing. sqre.sa 8 .,
Two farmers in. Kansas recently had a
lawsuit about seven pounds OF butter. When
the jury retired they took with them the
butter, procured some crackers, ate them to-
gether. and returned verdict of "no cause OF
action" .
"A short and stout woman got caught in
a Squeezing machine in Dundee yarn fac.
tory, recently, and came out life.ess. but
twelve feet long.
"A school master asked one of his fair pu-
pills. .Can you decline a kissf' Dropping a
perplexed courtesy. she readily replied: "Yes.
sir. but don't like to-"
There is said to be E20, 900 sterling lying
in the bank of England, deposited there by
some jealous botanist, as a reward for any
one who shall produce a blue dahlia.
Referring TO child who recently died
in Ohio. who never had a spinal column. the
Boston Post says that in his death the State
lost admirable materi,l for a member of Con-
gress
A colorcd lady, Boosting the other day
Of the progress made by her son in arithmetic
exultingly said: '::He is in the modification
table"
4 Why are women like houses? Because
the longer they remain "to let" the more
dilapidated and less desirable they become.
The long Island Mormon missionaries
have converted five young and pretty girls,
and will send them TO Utah in the spring
Brigham's council are Already drawing lots
for the first choice.
John SHEPPARD. Of London, lately walk.
ed one hundred consecutive hours at Mem
phis. for wager of 81 900 completing his
task at eleven o'clock Saturday night. He
was allowed fifteen minutes in every twenty
four hours.
well Bridget if 1 engage you. shall
want you to stay at homo whenever wish TO
go out" swell, ma am, / have no osiec-
TONS, said Bridget, "providin, you do the
same when wish to go out"
The lady principal of school in her adj
vertisement, mentioned her lady assistant,
and the reputation for teaching which she
BEARS" but the print IT accid entally omitted
the word (which" so the advertisement went
forth commencing the lady's reputation for
teaching she bears"
"A young lawyer obtained a divorce for
pretty and wealthy client. He sent in bill
for $1,000. The next day the lady called on
him, and inquired if he was in earnest in
proposing TO her. Propose TO you. madam |
didn't propose to you.' replied the astonish-
ed attorney. We II, you asked for my for
tune. and thought you would have the grace
to take me with it. was the. calm reply
The lawyer wilted.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
Old stories Made New.


From the Washington Correspondent Cincinnati
Gazette.
The plea of Mr.. Whittcmorc, argued
so disastrousIy to his client by Gen. But.
Ter, that the cadet money all went to the
poor, has revived the old story of the
miller who sometimes bad crazy fits, in
which he always imagined himself the
Lord judging the world.
On these occasions he would put on a
paper crown, ascend pile of meal bags
with great dignity, and call his neigh.
bors in succession. The same ones were
always judged, and these wore the mil,
lers of his vicinity. A9c1~ q =. v q
The first one summoned was Hans
Schmidt: s,ess. - 81
Hans Schmidt, stand oop.' Is
Hans. vat is pecn your pishness in
dat oder world q
4 vns a miller, Oh Lort., 5SES,
Was you shoost monl' sA q
We'll, ven de water vas low, and de
pisbness ish pad, Oh Lorf, l somed lines
dukes n lectle extra doles.' fs5.E a9i4'
'Vel Hans, youpmay go Offer NIT to
gotes, already yet
And so, in succession, NIL were tried
and Immediately sentenced to go over to
the goats. 49,.
Last CT all the miller tried himself in
the following style:
sYacob Miller stband oop.'
'Yacob vat wash your pishness in dat
oder worldf' tts
Il wash q miller, Oh Lort.
Vas you always shoost mon, va
cobr et
Well, Oh Lort, ven te water vns a
leetIe low, and to pishness vas pad. /
sometimes dakes some leetle extra doles /;
but, Oh Lort, ! all de vile gifts desc cx
ira doles TO te poor
(Afer long pause) well, Yacob
Miller, you can 60 Offer NIT 10 Sleeps
but il vas one tam tight s9ueeze'
Mr.. Golladay's sudden resignation re
calls the story Of the stock broker who
was dining with his friend. A servant
entered and told him that two policemen
were ut the door and wanted 10 see him
Whereuron, without waiting for his hat,
ho showed up the back window, jumped
out, and was never seen again. The po-
licemen had simply called TO tell him that
his chimney was on fire.
So. when the Military COMMITTEE was
announced ut Golladay's door, he hasti
" jumped out of the back window
The Committee only called 10 say that
they had no positive evidence against
him. est &
Let MI the back windows be set wide
open while the Committee makes the
grand rounds.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

One of our subscribers, Mr.. j. Stauf-
fer, who purchased the "Hulett Farm"
in this town, informs US that he has 80
acres seeded to clover. He raises it for
seed, and has good success. He raised
clover for fourteen years in Washington
county previous to coming here. and
found j! to be a profitable crop. He has
realized $50 from a single acre, from
which he gathered seven bushels of seed
and two tons of hay. Mr.. s. finds no
difficulty in raising clover, and his expe-
rience goes to prove that our farmers
generally need have none. His practice
is to seed in the fall upon ground that
has previously been well cultivated and
manured. He mows his clover twice,
the first time in June for hay, and again
in the fall for seed. 49,
In view of the fact that if our farmers
would have success in wheat raising,
they must abandon the, practice of skim
ming their land, and adopt a system of
manuring and rotation of crops, we hope
that Mr.. Staufer's example will find
many imitators. Clover kills ont the
weeds with which old wheat fields become
infested, and the soil can have no better
dressing preparatory TO wheat crop,
than crop of green clover turned
under dribouH Republican,. ~
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
A wife I'm Distress.

Pray tell me. my dear, the cause of
those tears"
30. such disgrace!'
"Is it, my dear! Don't keep me in
suspense"
"Oh, / have opened one of your let
tiers, surprising it to be addressed to my
self. Ii certainly looked more like Mrs.
than Mr."
as that all? What harm can there
be in a wifv's opening her husbands let
ters?" e
mo harm in the thing itself; but the
contents! Such a disgrace!'
"Who has dared to write mo a letter
unfit to be read 10y my wifep
"Ob no; it is couched in the most
chaste and beautiful language. But the
occasion, the occasion of i.!2
Here the dsconsolate wife buried her
face in her handkerchief and commenced
sobbing aloud, while her husband eager
" caught up the letter and commenced
reading the epistle that had nearly broken
bis wife's heart. 1t was a bill from the
printer for three years subscription for
the newspaper.
~ y q
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
Arrest that terrible Catarrh. and ID

Arrest that terrible Catarrh, anil thus
avoid consumptives grave, by using
DIR. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. It's not
warranted to cure Consumption when the
lungs are half consumed, nor to make
men live forever. nor to make this Garth
a .blissful Paradise. to which heaven shall
be but n side show. but the proprietor
will pay $500 reward for a case of Ca
tarrh which he cannot cure. Sold by
druggists, or send sixty cents to DIR. R.
V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y, and receive il
by mail.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
TO CONSERVATIVES.

TINHE Advertiser, having been restored to health
in few days. by very simple remedy, after
affection. and that dread disease. Consumption-
anxious to make known to his rers the
means of cure. . eF a.. .sr
To all who desire it, he will send copy OF the
prescription used free of charge), with the drec-
tiOn for prepairingand using the same. which they
Bronchitis etc. The object OF the advertiser in
sending the prescriptionis to benefit the afflicted
and spread information which he conceives to be
his remedy. as 1t Will cost them nothing. and may
prove a blessing.
Parties wishing the prescription. will please ad
dress REV. EDWARDA. WILSON.
ss-1y. Williamsburg, Kings County, New York
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

-U. s. Commissioner Osborne has
rendered q decision in Fl. +. Clark'sl liq-s
uor cases, in which be holds that the
fact Of mixing liquors without a license
is established when liquors have been
changed in tasle by compromising. This
10 q criminal offence.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
Books for Farmers and Stock Breeders
ERRORS OF YOUTH.

A GENTLEMAN who suffered for years frona
n Nervous Debility. Premature Decay, and all
the effects OF Youthful indiscretion, WILL for sake
of suffering humanity, send free to all who need
1t, the receipt and directions for making the sim
pie remedy by which he was cured. Sufferers
wishing to profit by tho advertisers experience
can do so by addressing, with perfect confidence,
,f.'-., JOHN B. OGDEN.
s3-1y. No ~ Cedar street. New York.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
.rEY.sR aes.v

Broken the golden cord; fss -
n. Severed the silken tie nf-s,a1.
Never again will the old days come
DARLING, to you and l.
Dead the beautiful Psst f
Scattered around its bier,
Pale thoughts lie thick, and memories
Il. OF days that were 80 dear. ii-...s. gE,t.
e# Fs~-'
Memories? Fold them up;
Lay them sacredly by.
What ayails IL to dream of the Pastr
The Future for you and l! II I
Broken the silken cord:
Severed the golden chain
Linking us with the beautiful days
That never can come agaiI
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
BLOOMINGTON. ILL. NURSERY.

REH HEARl 500 AcREsi 10 GREESHoUsEsl
II ARGEsT. best stock and shipping facilities APP
Crafts. choice, - Nursery stocks, Seeds Usage
Apple, Peach, WildgoOse, Plum Usage Hedge, 600,
folus, Greenhouse. Bedding Plants. SEND nee for
Catalogues. ss-l4w. F. K. PIEyx.v
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
WORDS OF WISDOM

FOR ToUSG HEH
IN the RAILING Passion of fYouth and Early
" Manhood, witl1seIf help for the erring and
Unfortunate. Sent in sealed letterenvelopes. free
oE charge. Address. HOWARD ASSOCIATION,
sox p. Philadelphis. Penn. SLY
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
speak Kindiy 90 Him. Il

A farmer once saved very poor boy
from drowning. After his restoration he
said TO him:
)" What can do for you, my boy ."
Speak n kind word to me some
times replied the boy, as tho tears gush
ed from his eyes. al amt got mother
like some of them" r
A kind wordi Think of it. That
farmer had it in bis power TO give that
boy money, clothes, playthings, but the
poor fellow craved nothing so much as
kind word now and then. If the
farmer had ever SO little heart the boy
must certainly have had the wish graft
fed.
A kind word? You have many of
them spoken TO you daily, and you dom:
thlnk much of their value; bu; that poor
boy 10 your village, at whom every body
laughs, would think that he bad found a
treasure if some one would speak kind
word to him. Suppose you speak it the
next time you meet him, instead of
laughing at him. Th n watch him
and see how he looks. See if his eyes
do not brighten and his lips smile.
Kind words! They are blessed
things. Speak them every day. Scat
ter them like sunbeams everywhere
They please others, and then return TO
bless your own heart. Kind words for
ever.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
An Awful Story.

There was once an awful little girl
who had an awful way of saying lawful
to every thing. Shs lived in an awful
house, in an awful street in an awful
village, which was an awful distance from
any other awful place. She went to an
awful school, whore she had an awful
teacher, who gave her awful lessons out
of awful books. Every day the was so
awful hungry that she eat an awful
amount of food, SO she looked awful
healthy. She went to 40 awful church
and her minister was an awful preacher.
When she took an awful, awful walk
she climbed awful hills, and when she
got awful tired she sat down under an
awful tree to rest herself. In summer
she found the weather awful hot, and in
winter awful cold. So that this awful
girl was all the time in an awful state,
and if she don't get over saying lawful
about everything, am afraid she will
come to an awful end.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
GENUINE IMPORTED.
NORWAY OATS.

hAMPLES SENT FREE To FdRMERS.
THrom 100 to $50 bushels grown 20 the acre, Weighs
II from 40 ~ As pounds tot he bushel. This Oats
has boon grown every variety Of sell and in every
State Of the Union, with the most perfect success
The grain is very large plump and handsome, has q
remarkable thin husk, and ripens earlier than the
common varieties. 5.-s
The straw is bright clear, stout. and not liable To
lodge perfectly clear Of rust and grows from TO
feet high.
We have both the White and Black Norway both
tbs sama price and equally pro iuctive.
We will lend one quart Of the above Oats to any
address post paid 81 90
Two quarts post 200
One peck sent by express freight.......-.. 800
fiAi bushel, 70 900
One hushei 80 1000
CAUTION. t<P- We wish il distinctly understood
that this is not light oats, weighing % 80 lbs,
raised in New England. and sold under the rame Of
Norway hut imported Seed, every bushel guaranteed
to weigh 80 his or the money refunded.
SAHdies of both kinds sent free for three cent
stamp. Also Circulars and Testimonials.
Address all orders to n. p. BOYER & CO..
Parkesburg, Chester CO., Pa.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

uIstdsts IuCiutHt % WIS dHIfIdI,
FEVER, CHAMBERS, YELLOW
WATER, HEAvES, COUGHS,
DISTEMPER, FEYERS, F0UN-
DER, LOSS OF APPETITE,AND
VITAL ENERGY, &c. Its use
improves the wind, increases the
appetite-gives a smooth and j..
glossy skin-and transforms the =
miserable skeleton into a fines
looking and spirited horse.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

ART OF PRISrrNG.-Itis just four hun.
dred years since books began to be prin-
tod with movable types. This was n
wonderful improvement over the method
of printing from words cut on solid
blocks. But your old fashioned volume,
even when executed with movable let
tiers, presented very different appear
nncc from a modem publication. 1t
was printed on one side Of the Sheet
There was DO attempt at punctuation, ex-
cept by a perpendicular straight line,
which stood like a post between one SEN
tence and another. There was no com.
ma, scmicolon, colon or full point. 1t
was more than two hundred years after
the art of printing Became general that
semicolons were introduced. Shake
speare knew nothing of their use, which
is the cause of so much Oh curity in Ger
tain passages in LIS works.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

Nor PROFITABLE CUSTOMER I'm a
certain town, not thousand miles from
here, was located one of those drinking
balls, having. as an additional attraction
to the beer. the favcrite instrument
known as the orchestrion. One day a
tall, raw boned Yankee sauntefed in,
bought his mug of beer, and then gazed
in SPECIFICS admiration upon the instru-
mcnt. II is constructed similar to a
church organ, except tina. it is propelled
by hand, like the common organ. On
this occasion it was grinding out ]" Cap
tain Jiuks," and, after listening to ii for
time, the countryman commenced
whistling the tuRe. The proprietor, n
robust, red faced, keen German, bore
with II while. ard then stepping up 10
the. whistler, said, in a voice not exactly
musical, - Mein trent, II ish besser as you
whistle. dat you 60 ont. You comes IN
here unit puys five cent worth Of peer.
and gets Fifty cent whistle, and Ino likes
such custom ash dat" rs.s ass
--Episcopalians are more numerous in New
York than in any other State in the Union
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

1t is asserted by the London Spectator
that Xant;ppe was model Of docile am
liability, who bore with angelic meckucss
Socrates's abominable goings on with
that brazen beggar, Aspasia; and that it
was Myrto, the philosophers first wife,
who, having married him for money,
naturally flung her aristocratic connec-
tons (she was descended from Aristides)
in his teeth, and made terrible time
over his having night key.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
Plantation BitterS

This wonderful vegetable restorative is
Tie sheet anchor of the feeble and dcbili-
taied. As tonic aud cordial for the
aged aud languid, it has no equal among
stomachics. As a remedy for the ner-
vous weakness to which women arc es-
pecially subject, it is superseding every
ether stimulant. In all climates, tropi
cal, temperate or frigid. it acts as spe-
cine in every species of disorder viii b
unlermines the bodily stronth anil breaks
down the animal spirits. For sale by all
druggists. 4son.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

s-Episcopalians are more numerous in New
York than in any other State in the Union.
Psnnsy Ivania comes next. with $4,000 COM
municants; and Connecticut next with 10,
900.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

Last week congregation in San Fran
cisco were singing
- Rock OF ages, cleft for me-
and rs they were about to complete the
petition
'Let mo hide myselfi in thee
the strata underneath began to heave
and rock, as if there were prospect of
the immediate realization of the devout
wish. Pastor and congregation rushed
with Gevout impulse toward the door,
and evinced in the most unmistakable
manner that their desire to have the rock
of San Francisco cleft for their special
concealment was entirely afgurativc and
metaphorical impulse, wholly consistent
with decided preference on their part,
with tho most intense preference for
above ground and open air. DR.. Watts
evidently needs some revision before
he can be sung in California with safety.
A short tongued Texas woman aggra-
yated her lord to such an extent that he
deserted his home at Houston, and fed
to Galveston, where he wrote the follow
ing interesting letter: ~" -
GALVESTON, Jan. the 9Th, 1870.
Ny LUvIN WFE:-Ime comm ONE
mex week an have forgive YOU for jawin
me. Tie cum on the z O'Clock trane an
shal stay ONE hereafter, an tri to be al
tered man. | want peace and so do yew,
why shouldn't we luy each other, as we
used ter when we first jined together in
the wholly bands of maddox. I've
jined temperance society, but if you
jaw me agin for comm ONE I'll wallop
yu like City. for we must hav pesse, as
Grant ses. e1ra-t
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
EOUTZ'S
CELEBRATED
HORSE And CATTLE POWDERS.

+ This preparation, long and favor
Z ably known, will thoroughly re-
invigorate broken down and low
spirited horses, by strengthening
and cleansing the stomach and in
testines. N@
1t is a sure preventive Of all
mt In this animal auch Al LING
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

DAVID {. F0UTZ, Proprietor,
Baltimore, Ma.
For sale By Druggists and storekeepers through
egtthe United States, Canadas and South Amer "a.
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24
Cash ALWAYS PAID FOR GRAIN.


judge cordially ali
will ready attend euHons
ne gooda = 4 s. K & s
Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-03-24

In all diseases ofSwinc, such as oughs, Ulcersin
The Lungs, Liver &C., this article
acts as a specific. By putr H ~ <S$SSA
from one half a paper to paper ase&Ssik5S&
in barrel Of swiil the above ~ a
diseases will be eradicated or =" We
entirely prevented. II given in AA&k@N&
time, certain preventive and
cure for the Hog Cholera
Der westbote. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1843-1871, 1870-04-14
Wie man Wonufafturen beidist.

DaB Der iogenannte S1ub3ol in Wabrbeit nidt
ben ebrlihen Eabritanten, iDn0ern nur peni8en
corrupten Monopoliften su Cute fommt, fiebt man
on BEN reht treifenoen fol8enoen geilpiel:
8ei Der 8lasfabriiation 1T ndhit Wrbeitslobn
Sooa= Mide Der bebeutenoite uno tpihtieite Yoiten.
Dieter Arti:el, bon benz bier lber -. 100000 idbr-
lid importirt meroen, Sablt einen 3oQ bon 21a Gent.
Dor einieen Sabren nun ihloiien bier Yerlonen
in pbilabeIpbia einen gontraft ab, Der ibnen oas
ausihlieBlihe Pripileeium libert, in bic Der. Staa.
ten einen Mrtifel ein5uflbrer, Der i'm Sanoel ~&lpa<
lii" beiBt, uno nur auf @r6nlano. bort aber In uner.
nleBlider Quantitdt, ~8efunoen uiro.
0ieies &rpaltt 1T einfah SOoa. Nlhe nit elmer
Beimilhun9 pon eini9en anberen Sal5en unb tuiro
senau ME bic Spba. Aihe uno als Subititut fir
oieie sebrauht. Sieie pier Speeulanten leben es
nun, permutbli4 ourh 2obbp ginftuB, ourH. bob
Der 3ou auf oieien MrtiteL, oelien Smportlrung tie
als YripileSium betrelben, bon 20 auf 10 Yro5ent
berabgeiebt muroe.
@essn oieles Mnnopol au coneurriren. 1T natiir-
lid ben ibrigen @lastabrlten Mot nlb8lih. Ja.
br,fen in Nen Seriep iinb fdon 9eittoflen nno IA
BON ben II Gabriten in philadelphia baben erfldrt,
baB fe e~benfalls ibre Mrbeit e~initelen miHen uno
oas GILES, I'M iene A Speculanten reid gu MAIDEN.
9ie rYbilaoelpbia YreB" , oas Organ Der ytonos
p%ol,itsn, weiB Ha,b Dian uiuB ben 3ou auf 9las
nod rnebr erbOben". iagt lie gan3 natp., =.
Ser 3ua auf @las betrdgt leBt, le na1 Der Auarr
titdt, 1870 Yro5ent. Wena man ibn NOD bober
itelte, muroen iene 4 Srpalitt Speculanien nob elm
paar Milionen per Sabr nebr rnahen." s,..
Jamoie @inriptuns oislsr "sdubioa."
p - % aE% . NSae SSS0ts/