The Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1869-1872, 1870-03-23

\ being completely psycoIogfZed witli the soul
ripping thought that the spouse Of his thorax
was permitting his spirit image to nildew in
the left Ventricle of her circuiatory apparatus.
while that Of a far less worthy knight of the
hoe hung conspicuously in the right ventricle
OF said organ, decided upon voluntary exit
from these low grounds of sorrow" by means
OF a readily improyised gallows. Procuring a
sea-grass rope, he selected pole-joist in his
log stable, and with great deliberation fixed
the day and the honr'' in which he would.
with one end Of the rope tied to his neck and
the other end thrown over the joist, pull him
self into eternity F.t t.f'A' '"'--. -..... .-.
But, in the meantime his wife, by hook or
crook-probably by crook-not O black one
though, for she was a white woman-discoy-
cred his purpose, and used her best '.indeev-
ers' tn persuade him that he was her only
I 'feller" and that she wanted him TO "stiil
live. But no. The "hnir was sot;" the
primitive yeoman would not be "gulled. " and
was bound To go out. All the fearful entreat-
les of the ''ole 'omern" had no more effect
upon the "hard-fsted" will than n struggling
rnoonbeam would on polar iceberg. The
time having "fully come" for the execution of
his design, he gathered up his rope and vent
To the stable, his wife following with sobs and
entreaties, and mournful calculations and
screaming threats of "raisin' the neighbor-
hood!' .' .'..
At this juncturc and Just rs the dead SET"
ruralist, having secured his neck in a moose,
had flung the loose end Of the fatal cord over
the Joist, his nephew, John Craig, lad of
about eighteen years, much distinguished for
his sparkling wit and keen appetite for "dev-
ilment," rushed into the stable, quickly clos
ing the door, holding il on the inside and shut
ting the old lady out. This done, the boy
pOunced with the CELEBRITY Of n cat upon the
free end of rope, snatching it from his un-
cle's hands. triumphantly exclaiming:
Now, uncle, I'll be d--d if we don't chow
aunt Sally that she amt smart enough TO stop
this business. I've always had "A mighty hank
erin to see a man hung, and d-n old roper if
this amt my chance. SO, heaye, oh! Up
you go. old cow And John "heaved away
vigorously, drawing the old man about two
feet from the ground, whereupon the latter
frahtically caught hold Of the rope above his
head, and piteously gasped:
Johnny. for Gods 'akc, Letter down. II
give We farm T We will? "..
After choking his dangling, kicking, fouhc-
ing uncle till-as he expressed it-he thought
the averige was sufficiently reduced, John
lowered him till ho could touch his toes to the
ground, and still holding the rope firmly In
his hands he said:
"Old hoss, do you want to liver"
"Y-e-s," family squeeled the uncle.
"Will you be good 20 aunt?"
Yes" was the willing but feeble reply.
'Will you swear tint you will never act the
d-d fool Hgain2" ~ --BTrrY - |
bad f ts ''' Il
And you'll give Mo farm2" letting the
old man little lower down. ....t .
YES johnny. N n hoss, too.'
John then entirely released his rcpen,ant
ancls and thereupon told him that he woul,b't
have either the farm or the hoss;" that he
Just wanted 10 teach him that life was wo'th
stump I'm, nhd that common sense was handy
thing TO have about the house" John Craig
may have been ignorant 81 the technical
meaning of "simiiiG Sip,iibucs -,Tdntur.". but
hoevidcntly understood its practical applica-
tion.