The union Democrat., 1870-07-02
Oar yvenaa's Cstamn.
OLD xaIp's BLESSING.


But there need be no tears. Old Maids are
spared many troubfes. We will show how.
Marriage with most girls isregarded as
the highest good aud the greatest aim of ex-
istence. You regard il q great misfortune
if, say at the age of so, NO ehgibss man has
asked you to be bis wife. Yet this seeming
i'll may be no i'll at all. You may not have
been taken for wife and found yourself
merely house keeper. You may not have
been deceived by the idea that you were ta-
ken for yourself alone ard walked up to find
that i. was your skill in baking and wash
log in mending your husbands Shirts, In
cooking his dinners and in exercising these
functions with docility and faithfulness which
The man most valued. Any other gill, pass
ably good looking tolsrably good naturel who
could rattle round artistically among wash
tubs, cook-stoves, sheets, shirts, pillow-cases,
pots, pans and kettles, who had education
and style enough to entertain her company
and make them feel welcome when they were
wished at home, might. coming along when
the mans marrying fit was on have answer
ed just as well as you! You have been spar
ed an outrageous proposition daily made by
many men to many women. 1t runs thus:
~ love you. Will you be my wife?" II
means this "Will you for bed board, and
shelter, sweep my house, cook my vicsuals,
mend my Clothes bear and rear as many chill
dren as your constitution will stand, endure
my surly and snappish moods, and receive
with thankfulness whatever extra spending
money choose to give you. l am courting
you now and oe course while a fellow is ''ray-
ing attention." he must be attentive. But
after marriage, l shall drop all this nonsense.
No more boquets. can't then go with you
to many balls, or concerts, or lectures or the
atrical exhibitions. when they come along.
Business will prevent it. can't then spend
many evenings with you. shall be play
ing seven Up. down town. You won't be
agreeable company then. l cannot then take
you out riding. It will be too expensive.
Such outlay is only warranted by courting.
All this is bait. When get you on the hook
and land you safe on the matrimonial Shore
there is no longer need Of bait--at least for
you As for love Of course man and wife
must love each other. We shall swear on
the altar to love each other, and if together
we turn to vitriol. verjuice and vinegar, and
at last in each others estimation, we become
one rattlesuake, and the other skulking
coyote, why still we must love each other
If you drop your handkerchief, then you
must pick it up yourself. If you want pail
of water you must get it yourself. If during
the honeymoon you should carelessly leave
the pantry door open and the cat should get
in and eat up oil the beefsteak and there
should be none for breakfast should only
smile and say: ''No matter. my Dear. We
have eggs you know" But if such accident
should happen two years after, shall say
Good Cd woman Have you no idea what
doors are for and that steak costs money !
Spring time for such vegetables and they are
scarce and dear in the market and besides it's
rather risky snatching them. But two. or
FIVE, or ten years hence, if you long for such
marks of affection, you must recollect that
you are an old married woman, that the
market has long been glutted, that one sort
Of vegetable must in time become stale to the
taste, and that when one lives With Jars of
one kind Of swect-meats all around them, one
doesn't care at all for that particular sort of
jam. And recollect above all, no flirting I
No sleeps eyes at other men; no sighs for
what might have been. may at times leave
home. Destiny Liay lead me into strange
places. Of course shall be faithful. You
will have no business to doubt me. But you
must be faithful. For you are my lawful and
welded house-keerer and your honor must
remain above all suspicion"
Now this in many cases is the hidden mean
ing of the proposition, "Will you marry
me?" Were it put as we render it, no fault
could be found. The cat would be out of the
bag. All you would have to say would be
"Scatl I"
By and by, that class of women now suffer
ing and for time yet to suffer under tn,
. pains and penalties of condition known al