Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-04-12
For the Spectator.
Bachelors ApDeal.

Bachelors Appeal
In pursuance Of long cherished purpose |
desire through the popular columns Of the
Spectator TO address one other and last appeal
to my unfortunate single brethren and In order
Int possible to arouse them out OF their too long
INDUCED lethargy Of the heart and induce them
while yet they may, to exchange the cherries
and frultless regions of celibacey for the more
congenial and comfortable climes of matri-
mony. Some years ago, when endeayoring to
stir up the fraternity on this inspiring subject,
[ presented general outline OF the great prin-
cples necessitaying and making so desirable the
institution and relation Of marriage with the
hope Of reklndlng love- latent sparks in the
bosoms Of my brethren and SO allnring them
over into the better State. But finding my ap-
peal, though so earnestly made. to fall harm
less at their feet and to leave little or no salu-
tary impression upon their strong hearts.
now will try to probe into their very innermost,
with the sharp javelin of personal experience
to ascertain if lite be yet there, and so awake
them to sense of their duty and their danger
or, as with a coal Of fire on the tortoise back,
drive them out of their shelly retreat and start
them for the conjugal land.
How has it been, how is it now, and what the
prospect before you, Oh We bachelors Of Au-
gusta? Because of circumstances over which
you had no control, you set out On your mortal
career some forty, fifty or may hap sixty years
ago single individual. However after grow
ing up to mature manhood with all the force
of parental example and precept before you,
together with all the inspiration Of youthful
hopes and prospects looming up in the dis
tance you have for some one or more real or
imaginary reasons allowed the morning and
prime of your days to be frittered away in your
restless wanderings o er the bleak hills or up
and down the spewy valleys of celibacy, all the
while hoping and now and then making some
spasmodic effort to enter that State Of duality
for which you were so wisely and graciOusly de-
signed But now childless, and well nigh hope
less, with your hoary locks streaming in the
bret re, or denuded pates gllstening in the sun
beams-let me inplore you to waste not anoth-
er hour in useless lamentations over the past
| or your usual speculations about the future
Rather turn deaf car to the syren voice of
procrastinaton NAY manfuly and determinate-
ly to your oars once more, and press ii possi-
Bile, your rickety barks into the placid though
| sometimes ''squally'' harbor Of conjugal rest,
ere you may be stranded upon the shoals of in
difference, or engulphed beneath the waves Of
despair Let me ask you my dear brethren if
the sad and impressive experience OF your past
lives, is not or ought to be quite sufficient to
lead you or to drive you to seek out and to ap-
proprlate unto your own use and behoof, that
other and tenderer and better half of your
selves, without whom you must, like diSjointed
scissors, go on to haggle your course through
the remnant Of your days, going down to the
grave covered all over with the green scum OF
discomfort, and having your survivors to mark
your last resting place with this sad and sug-
gessive epitaph:
Here lies old Blackstone dead,
Here's his feet and there's his head
Where old Bach is, and how he fares
Nobody knows and nobody cares.
Finding, as We always do in the divine econ
| omy, means adequate to the end in view, and
acting upon this great principle 10 every other
pursuit and relation of life, why do you not
| avail yourselves of the fast-escaping opportu-
mites of securing one OF nature last best gifts
| to man-so wisely and SO graciously adapted to
your wants in every department ct your being
| as to divide your sorrows and double your joys,
and in nv opinion calculated to be the most
available human instrumentality for elevating
| you to the peace and the happiness Of heaven.
| Look abroad upon the face of nature and
see how YOU and your suicidal condition of life
| is contradicted, condemned, and ignored
Throughout the wide domain of things ami
mate and inanimate we discover the organiza-
ton and relation OF male and female so ar
ranged and provided as to constitute first the
physical basis Of successive continuation Of be-
| Ing, ana SeC0Eu LudC uIEIlCI Guu IuOic WUu-
drous life of moral and intellectual enjoyments
and endearments, growing out Of or flowing di-
rectly from the perennial springs of matrimo-
NAL union Where-where amidst the ice
bergs of celebacy do you find this wise and be-
ne6cent adaptation of means to an end SO pro-
fmotive Of man 8 temporal and external welfare
and so pregnant with the interests of succeed
ing generations? No where-no where, but
in its stead disunion as cold as the grave and
as disintegratipg as death-reigns supreme
freezing up every avenue of the hearts affec-
tions paraIyzlng every manly effort of the
mind2and willing the entire bodily corpo-
! rygll, leaves the poor unhappy rotary, lean,
Ilank. cross. and crank-sided, and reminds one
very much Of the poets expressive lines
| And say without our hopes, without our fears,
Without the home that plighted love endears,
| Without the smiles from matrimony won,
| OH what were mana world without sun.
Oh, unfortunate brethren why remain ye
| shivering and yerishing amidst the stormy and
Esnow-clad heights of Switzerland, when with
| Napoleonic crossing of the intervening Alps
YOU might 80 safely and so joyously descend
and dwell under the life giving beams Of al
! a9a d1