Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-04-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
SAD AIR-Misfor. ttlne.

A SAD AIR IR-Mtsfor. tune.
ECONOMY is the easy chair of old age.
THE SHADES OF NIaHT-Window-c cur
AN UEDouBTED WOODEN. HEAD An
Alderman.
A DUEL should never be fought over
two seconds.
WHAT ailment may we look for on an
oak? Acorn.
CAN a cast from marble be described
as stones throwS
WHEN may man properly lead others?
When he's got a head.
THE procuring of divorce is called
court-ing after marriage.
THERE is no truer saying than that
"Sweet are the uses of advertisements! J.
DIvIpEEDs are paid in cash in the
Washington Life Insurance Company of
New York.
To Keep out of Debt-Acquire the
| reputation of rascal, and no one will
trust you.
| upon the times-One who cannot write
| his own name.
PROVIDE for your old age with policy
|
pany of New York
THE man who ate his dinner with the
fork of river has been trying TO spin a
mountain top.
| How does your new horse answer ?"
az really don't know, for have never
asked him question"
THE very climax of superfuous benev-
olence has been declared TO be that OF
holding an umbrella over duck in the
rain.
THE New York San learns of lean
mans association out in Jersey, to which
crawling through key-hole is the first
initiatory step. -
The Cleveland Herald thinks the mar
riage service should be changed to read
Who dares take this woman and the
groom shall answer, dare.
THE entire assets of Boston bankrupt
were nine children. The creditors did
the handsome thing and let him keer
every one of them.
| A MALICIOUS libel is going the rounds
that vegetation is so scarce at Cape Coo
that two mullen stalks and whortleberry
bush are called grove.
NEVADA claims to have brook trout
|
streams are SO narrow that these trout
have TO come ashore to turn around
Detroit Tribune.
THERE is this difference between those
two temporal blessings, health anC
money. Money is the most envled, but thu
least enjoyed; health is the most en-
ioyed, but the least envied.
A CORRESPONDENT wrote to a news
| IN, aha1 Of
mother" and was enraged ia the moTninl
that his appeal was made to read in be
half Of "a one-eyed indignant woman.
"THE MAN who raised cabbage heaC
has done more good than all the meta
physics in the world" said a stumI
orator at meeting. "Then," replied
a wag, your mother ought to have the
premium"
ONE of the New York railroad rinl
says that although his father would no
tell lie for shilling, he would not hesi
tate to tell eight for dollar. That is tn,
difference between wholesale and retail
fbbing.
THE Evansville Journal says that
young lady of that city was licensed Il
marry two gentlemen, and adds that sh
made only one happy. Which that on,
was is not stated, but probably it was th
one she did not marry. 4
A PREMIUM is offered for the most in
genious device whereby newspaper cal
be lent to neighborhood of not less thar
twenty families, without being worn on
before its return to the owner.
"BoY, what is your father doing to
day ?" Well, l s'pose he's failin'.
heard him tell mother yesterday to g,
round to the shops and get trusted all sh
could, and do it right off too, for he'd go
everything ready to fail, ceptin that"
"How much water do you put in you
} milky" asked Pittsfield, Massachusetts
man of boy who delivers milk on on
of the milk routes "We don't put am
water in it," replied the boy. "What d.
you put in it, theni" "loe!" said th'
candid youth.
MASTER CHARLIE, aged four years, wa
not pleased ON being reproved by hi
mother for some mischievOus prank, ant
showed his displeasure in his face, wheI
his mother remarked "Why, Charlie,
am astonished to see you making faces a
your mother |" "Why, / calculated I,
laugh, but, mamma, my face slipped"
HERE (says the New York Tines is al
opportunity for the assertion of woman
rights A National Bee keepers Conven
tion is called to be held at indianapolis ol
the 10th and 11th of August, and certainly
there could not possibly be any objection
to allowinga woman, the Queen Bee o
the Convention, to preside over it.
A YANKEE one day asked his lawyer
how an heiress might be carried off
"You cannot do it with safety" said The
counselor; but I'll tell you what yor
may do. Let her mount horse and hole
brldle- whip; do you thenmount behinc
her, and you are safe, for she runs away
with you" The next day the lawyer
found that it was his own daughter wi
had run away with his client,