The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-02-05

and forest meet and mingle.
r. ia altogether the most remarkable OBJ
,ect for the traveller in all Florida.
]. P. L.
FRIED FRENCHMAN.
DINNER WITH TIE KING OF THE
CANNIBAL ISLANDS.
Mark Twain In the Buffalo Express.
"Now, as regards those missionaries"
continued the King, reaectively, scratching
his head with the fork which ! had pre-
scented him, and which he had already
learned to use good deal, though not al
WAYS in strictly legitimate way, Gas re-
CARDS those missionaries, will soy that
their landing here wes unexpected, but l
FASTENED to give them every protection.
And gave them full privilege to teach:
| Thew were the first whites that some OF
my people had seen, and OF course these
simple natives had natural curiosity 10
experiment upon them could not rea-
sonably deny them this little qualification,
though I counselled them to practice as lit
Tie cruelty upon the strangers as was cop-
notible with q fair desire for information
and the necessity for wholesome amuse-
ment. They removed Johnson's ears, and
that was thing ] regretted seriously un-
til it WAS explained to me that great
chiefs little sick child desired them 10 play
with-and if you could have seen now
much more contented and restful the poor
Young thing was after it acquired them
Won would have felt how blessed a thing it
is to be able to contribute to the happiness
of even little child"
eft was the impulse of generous
heart-it was a spirit of liberality as rare
as it is beautiful. And how did johnson
like it ?" Ill &c
God, It was like Johnson to shy that. But
the missionaries were right well treated Oh
the whole. The natives tried various inter-
estipp experiments upon them, such as
scorcIing them, and scalping them, ana oil
that sort of thing, and killed one OF them
mvself: not in malice, but because had
cnr;ous caprice to see how he would go with
onions. He was failure. Old and tough.
TInderdone. nv acahine said-a shade too
venerable, said. Give me pungency and
tenderness for q combination. onions and
infancy is my idea of comfort. You people
don't know how to cook. No, as was saying,
the Kanakas experimental good deal on
the missionaries in the interest OF
science, and the experiments were
generally fatal, though I urged them not
to waste the missionaries, for we could not
know when we would have another lot. But
among those that survived was Williams,
and II WE he that sent home those damag-
ing reports to your country, in which he
spoke of the treatment of his brethren in
a peevish, fault-fnding spirit, ill-becoming
his sacred calling. I suppose your peo-
ple believed every word of it, and just
jumped to the conclusion that We were
base, inhospitable race. Never explained
about Johnson's ears, perhaps -neVer
told why killed that other fellow !-con-
found me, it does seem to me that some peo-
pie take pleasure in misrepresenting things,
and bringing obloquy upon their fellow
creatures, Sometimes I feel as if l had
rather be dead and at rest. The world
seems 80 shameless in its judgments, and
ones life is 80 embittered by the malicious
criticisms of those whose hearts are not in
sympathy with him."
1t eras pitiful in that Williams after all
you had done for his party
II should say so But never mind, let's
be cheerful, any way. How are you
making out? Let me help you to fried
plantain. Take some more Of the pup
MOI Try some Of the human being! BY
George, this fellow is done to charm.
You'll like him. He was Frenchman--
splendid chap-young, and hale, and
hearty-beautiful to look upon. Do you
prefer white meat or dark Lei me help
YOU to some of the breast All, me, l have
known this youngster for thirteen years
fshed with him, swan with him, sailed
with him, gave couple of my sisters and
four aunts to him. I loved him. He was
always good. He is good now"
Taking up fragment of his late brother
in-law, the King took bite, and then gazed
long and pensively upon the remainder, till
by-and-bye the muscles of his. mouth began
to witch with emotion, and presently two
or three great tears swclled from his eyes
and coursed down his cheeks. Then, in q
choking voice, he murmured:
calais, they have fried him!"
7 laid down the breast-bone of deceased
and burst into tears also. Such is the sym
pathetic power of grief. 1t was nothing
whether they fried him or boiled him; it
was nothing to me how this poor foreigner
was cooked; was only eating him out of
vain curiosity, and not because loved him,
not because respected him, not because l
wished to curry favor with his relatives.
Yet wept.
"They have fried him!" said the King.
"Alas, poor Gaultier. However, let us
cheer up; let us be content. But I will have
my cook for breakfast for this, and will
fry him, and see how he likes it. There
is nothing like sharp example to teach q
man, my friend. But don't be idle, sir; take
some more of the fried Frenchman. l ought
to be ashamed to offer you such dish, but
YOU see how I am situated. He ought to
have been baked-this fellow ought. We
always bake q Frcnchman; we never
think of frying him. But l wish you
had known this fellow-so kind, so
gentle, so loving; and you see yourself
how tender he is. But that Williams
business; I wish you would straighten
that up for me when you 60 back to
America. If your people could only know
the facts in the case, they would not blame
me. It is little hard, after / have spent
all these years in building up good name,
to have it oil knocked in the head by this
shabby adventurer. Now, what he called
hideous revel,' and feast of DEVILS
and all sorts of vile and wicked names,
was nothing in the world, I give you my
sacred honor, but simple barbecue
seventeen old crippled natives, no account
under the sun, just ON expense to the COM
munity, and I fricassed them to give lit
tie treat to some visiting town chiefs
(aldermen You call them in your coun-