The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-03-15
Why Aunt Sally Never Married.

~ us why you never married.
You know you said once that when you
were girl you were engaged to a minis
ter, and that you would tell us all about
it, sometime. Now, Aunt, please do"
" We'll, you see, when | was about sew
enteen years old, I was living in Utica, in
the State of New York. Though | say
it myself, | was quite good looking girl
then and had several beaux. The one
that took my fancy most was a young
minister, a very promising young man,
and remarkably pious and steady. He
thought a great deal of me, and l kind
of took fancy to him and things ran on
till we were engaged.
"One evening he came to mel re-
member it as well as if it were only yes
terday. When he came into the parlor
where | was sitting alone, he came up to
me and-bu now, pshaw girls, [ don't
like to tell the rest"
ooh, Aunt Sally, for mercy's sake
don't stop; tell us what he did,
"Well, as | said, he came to me and
put his arms around me, and rather hug
ged me, while | got excited and some
frustrated, and it was long time ago,
and don't know but what l might have
hugged back little. Then I telt-but
now just clear out every one you, | shan't
tell you any more"
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally.
Tell us how you felt Didn't you feel
good, and what did he do next?"
con, such torments as you are! l
was like any other girl, and pretty soon
| pretended to be mad about it, and push
ed him away, though wasn't mad bit.
You must know that the house where l
lived was on one of the back streets in
town. There were glass doors in the
parlor which opened right over the street
and no balcony or anything Of the
kind in front of the house. AS it was
in the summer season, these doors were
opened and the shutters just drawn to-
l stepped back little from him, and
when he edged up close | pushed him
away again. pushed harder than [ in
tended to, and don't you think girls, the
poor fellow lost his balance, and fell
through one of the doors into the street
Yes, it's SO. As he fell [ gave scream
and caught him-but declare l won't tell
any thing more. I'm going to leave the
room"
:" No, no, Aunt Sally! How did you
catch him? Did it hurt him much %
"Well, if I must, | must. He fell
head first, and as he was going l caught
him by the legs of his trousers. [ held
on for minute and tried to pull him
back, but his suspenders gave way and
the poor young man fell clear out of his
pantaoons into a whole parcel of ladies
and gentlemen passing along the street."
80! Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, Lordy :
He, he, he !"
" There, that's right, giggle and squeal
as much as you want to. Girls that can't
hear about little thing like that without
tearing around the room and he-he-ing in
such way don't know enough to come
home when it rains. A nice time the
man that ever marries you will have,
wont he ? Catch me telling you anything
again"
But, Aunt Sally, what became of
him? Did you ever see him again? ?"
No, the moment he touched the
ground he got up and left the place in
terrible hurry. | tell you it was a sight
to remember, to see how the man did
run. Father happened to be coming up
the street at the time, and he said that he
never saw anything to equal it in his
whole life. heard others say that he
did the fastest running ever known in
that part Of the country, and that he new
er stopped or looked behind until he was
two miles out Of town. He sent me
note few days afterward saying that the
engagement must be broken off, as he
never could look me in the face, after
what had happened. He went out West,
and ! believe he is preaching in Illinois.
But he never married. He was very
modest, and | suppose he was so badly
frightened that he never dared to trust
himself near woman again That, is
the reason, girls, | never married. / felt
very bad about it for long time, for he
was a real good man, and L have often
thOupht that We shOuld olwovs have ham