The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1870-01-08
Variety.

Happiness consists in being perfectly satisfies
with what we have got and with what we haven
got.
a dandy inquired at a fruit-stall, t Are these
apples fit for the hogs to eat?" Try 'em ant
see,'' said the woman.
What might naturally he expected to follow
q the Ring and the Book?" Olive branches.
greatest organ in the world - says a
wicked old bachelor, g is the organ of speech in
woman, because it is an organ without stops"
DIR. Hays wants to go North again. Com,
InentIng upon this, a cOtemporary says: mo
Arctic explorer is really happy until he fails to
come back"
Stiggins. the new married man, says his wife
Is a perfect rose. The only drawback to his
happiness is that she blows out perhaps a = leetle -
too often.
Ike's last trick was to throw Mrs. Partington's
old gaiter IN the alley, and call the old lady down
from the third floor to see an alleygaiter.
Is your house a warm one, landlord ? " asked
a gentleman in search of a house. 81 1t ought to
be-" was the reply, " tie painter gave it two
coats recently
The first day a little boy went to school the
teacher asked him if he could spell? Yes,
SIR well, how do you spell boy?" "Oh,
just as other folks do"
The engineer who was fined for running his
engine through an ambitious little village with
out ringing his bell, certainly had his revenge.
He said he would not have done it if he had
known the village was there.
The papers relate an anecdote of Il beautiful
young lady, who had become blind, having re-
covered her sight after marriage. 1t is no
uncommon thing for peoples eyes to be opened
by matrimOny.
\ foppish fellow advised a friend not to marry
n poor girl, as he would find matrimony with
poverty, sup bill work" Good" said his
friend. {" would rather go up hill than down,
any time"
jim said one youngster to another on the
Fourth, 90 Jim, lend Inc two cents will yer? L
got up so early, that | spent all my money before
breakfast. | didn't think the day was going to
be so long"
\ woman who never owned a Bible supposed
she Was quoting it when she greeted her son, who
came home to keep Thanksgiving, in the follow
ing words "Here comes the iatted calf
What is conscience?" asked a Sabbath
School teacher. An inward monitor, =" was the
reply of Il smart little fellow, not large enough
to spell ratiOcination with safety. And what
Is a mOnitOr?" Some of the iron-clads."
An awkward man attempting to carve a goose,
dropped it ON the floor. There now - exclaimed
his wife, = we've lost our dinner p" ssOb, no,
my dear" answered he, d" it is safe-I have got
foot on it,
ChariraTi makes a good hit in speaking of the
OF a general disarmaInent Of the nations.
AHhS IiOPNiIiOh, COliIhS up lOT the DunureQth
time, has NOW a chance for success for it makes
Us laugh, and those who laugh are d~isarmed."
"There, now said a little bit of a thing.
while rumInaginS a drawer in a bureau, and
turning the contents all topsy-turvy, of course;
: there now ! gran pa has gone to heaven without
MS spectacles. Won't you take 'em with you,
when you go?"
RIcHEt.-The man with good, firm health, is
So is the man with n clear conscience.
30 is the parent of vigorous, happy children.
81 is the editor of a good paper, with a big
subscription list.
So is the clergyman whose coat the little chill
iren of his parish pluck as he passes them at their
Dlay.
So is the wife who has the whole heart of a
good husband.
So is the maiden whose horizon is not bounded
by the looming man" but who has a purpose
n life, whether she ever meet him or not.
So is the young man who, laying his hand on
ls heart can say, 81 have treated every woman
ever saw as | should wish my sister treated by
,ther men.
So is the little child who goes to sleep with a
Kiss on its lips, and for whose waking a blessing
waits.