The Lincoln County herald., 1870-12-01
TERMS or ADvER r1s,xc.
Mark Twais's speech sa wssas.

The funny faculties Of the celebrated
humorist, "Msrk Twsin," we're called
into play q . dinnsr -oscs given BY The
Corresdondeots' Club st Wsshingtoa.
Mark Wss called on TO respond TO the
usual tosss Of Woman which he did
in the following characteristic style: '3ia'
Mr.. President: do not know Why
| should have been singled ont 10 receive
the greatest distinctions Of the evening
for 90 the cihce oi replying TO the tosst
10 womae has been regarded 10 every
age. Applsuse do not know vhy
I have received this distinction, unless IL
be that am tri6e less homely than tho
other members Of the club Be this %
il may, nr President, I am proud not
have chosen any one wbo would have ac-
cepted il more gladly. or !sbored With
heartier good will to do the subject jus.
tice than I. Because | love the seq.
Laughter l love oil the women. sir,
irrespective Of sge or color. Laugh.
ter ItaI,.,.al r.' - - out
Human intelligence can not estimate
on our buttons daughter. she meuds our
clothes (iaueh.or she ropes us 10 ., the
church fairs, she con6des 10 rs; the tells
Us whatever she can 6nd out about tho
little private affairs Ct tie neighbors
she gives us piece Of her mind some.
times-and sometimes oil Of II; sho
soothes our aching brows; she bears or
children-ours - general thing. 10 al
relations Of life sir, il is but just aud
graceful tribute to woman to say Of her
that she is brick. Great laughter. ]
Wheresoever you place woman. sir -
in whatever place or state-she II 90 or.
nament TO that position which she oceu.
pies, and treasure to the world. There
Mr.. TWAIN paused, looked iuquiringly st
his hearers, and remarked that the ap.
plause should come in At this point. II
came in. Mr.. Twain resumed his
eulogy Look at the noble names Of
history Look at CIeopstrs | look 1t
Desde monia look at Florence N,ehtiu.
gale look ut Lucretia Borgis fDisap.
probation expressed. Well said Mr..
Twain, scratching his head doubtfully,
suppose We let Lucretis slide, ] Look st
Joyce Heth look At Mother Eve | rCriss
Of Oh! oh j You Deed not look 1t
her unless you want to; but.-said Mr.
Twain, reaectively, sfter a pause. Eve
was ornamental, sir; particularly before
fashions changed | repeat, sir. look at
the illustrious names Of history. Look
at the widow Mschree! loos at Elisabeth
Csdy Stanton | look at George Frsuc,s
Train l. (Greas lsugh,er] Aud, cir, /
cay il with bowed head and deepest ven. i.
GRAFTON. look At the mother Of Washing
ton she raised = boy that could tell q
lie-oould not he2 CAppIauso. ] But
he never had any chance. COh! oh n
Il might have been different With him il
he had belonged to . newspaper CORES.
pondents' club. Laughter aod groans,
Kisses, aud cries Of "Put him out
Mark looked around plscily upon his ex.
cited audience, aud resumed. ....
! repeat. cir, that in whatever position
you place woman, she is az ornament
to society and . treasure to the world
As . sweetheart, she has few equals and
no superiors Laughter i as cousin, she
is convenient; - 4 wealthy grandmother
with 40 incurabis distelnper, she is pre-
cious; - . vet nurse she has no equa
among meo [Laup,er % : d
i What, sir, would the people Of th,
ear b do without womsn? +
They would be scarce, sir-almighty
scarce Then let us cherish her; let o,
protect her; lot o. give her our support
our encouragement, our sympathy-uur
} selves, il 10 get chance Laughte
, But, jesting aside, M. Presidint, wo
, 10 'loveable. gfac,cus, kindhearted, beau
; tiful-worthy Of oil respect, Of oil q
teen, Of sll defarsnes. Not sny her
, will refuse to drink her health right eol
J daily 10 this bumper Of wine, for eas
one Of us has personally known, 90
0 loved, and houored the very best Of thss
, sll-his ovs no'hsrl (Applaass.1 '.
. A lsaghable thing took piece st n
. vivai meeting somewhere IL Mississipg
! not iosg sisee. The minister notiesd