Knoxville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1875, 1870-06-29
Mark Twain.

scriptural panorama is one of Mark
Twains best contributions to humorous
literature:
"There wassa fellow travelling around in
that country (said Mrs. Nickerson) with
moral religious show-a sort of scriptural
panorama-and he hired a wooden-headed
old slab to play the piano for him. After
the first nights performance the Snowman
says:
''My friend, you seem to know pretty
much all the tunes there are, and you wor-
~ along first rate. But, then, didn't you
notice that sometimes last night, the piece
YOU happened to be playing was little
rough on the prophecies, so to speak
didn't seem to jibe with the general gait
of the picture that was passing at the time,
as il were-was II little foreign to the sub
iect, you know--as if you didn't either
trump or follow suit, you underestimate
"Well no." the fellow said; he hadn't
noticed, but it might be; he played along
lust as it came handy.
$50 they put it up that the simple old
dummy was to keep his eye on the pano-
rama, after that, and rs soon as stunning
picture was reeled out, he was to fit it to
dot with piece of music that would help
the audience to get the idea of the subject,
and warm them up like camp meeting
revival. That sort of thing would corral
their sympathies, the Snowman said.
"There was big audience that night
mostly middle-aged and old people, who
belonged to the church, and took strong
interest in bible matters, and the balance
pretty much young bucks and heifers-
they always come out strong on piano.
ramas, you know, because 1t gives them
chance to taste one another's mugs in the
dark.
"Well the Snowman began to swell him
self up for his lecture, and the old mud
dobber talked the piano and run his fingers
up and down once or twice to see that all
was right and the fellows behind the cur
tain commenced to grind out the piano.
ramas. The Snowman balanced his weight
on his right foot, and propped his hands
on his hips, and flung his eyes over his
shoulder at the scenery and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, the painting
now before YOU illustrates the beautiful and
touching parable of the Prodigal Son. OBJ
serve the happy expressions just breaking
over the face of the poor, suffering youth
SO worn and weary with his long march;
note also the ecstacy beaming from the up
lifted countenance of the aged father, and
the JOY that sparkles in the eyes of the eX-
cited youths and maidens, and seems
ready to burst in a welcoming chorus from
their lips. The lesson, my friends, is as
solemn and instructive as the theory is
tender and beautiful.
THE mud-dobber was all ready and the
second time the speech was finished
he struck up:
"Oh, ell all get blind drunk,
When johnny comes marching home
"Some of the people giggled, and some
proaned little. The Snowman couldn't
say IA word. He lookek at the piano sharp
but he was all lovely and serene-he didn't
know there was anything out of gear.
'The panorama moved on, anddhe show
man drlimmed up his grit and started in
atresh:
Ladies and gentlemen, the fine picture
now unfolding itself to your gaze, eX-
hibits one of the most notable events in
bible history-Our Savior and his disciples
upon the sea of Galilee How grand, how
awe-inspiring are the reflections which the
subject invokes! What sublimity of faith
is revealed to Us in this lesson from the sa-
cred writing! The Savior rebukes the
angry waves, and walks securely upon the
bosom of the deep!'
"All aroung the house they were whis-
pering, oh, how lovely, how beautiful
and the orchestra let himself out again:
"Oh, life on the ocean wave
And home an the rolling deep
There was Il good deal of honest snick-
erin turned on this time, and considerable
groaning and one or two old deacons got
up and went out. The Snowman grated
his teeth and cursed the piano man to him
sell, anu tIle ltlION Sul tHtIt llhc anu
seemed to think he was doing tirst-ratc.
after things got quiet, the Snowman
thought he would make one more stagger
at it anyhow, though his confidence was
beginning to get mighty shaky. The
supes started the panorama TO grinding
again, and he said:
Ladies' and gentlemen, this exquisite
painting illustrates the raising of Lazarus
from the dead by our Saviour. The sub
ject has been handled with rare ability by
the artist, and such touching sweetness
and tenderness he has thrown into it, that
have known peculiarly sensitive persons
TO be even affected totears by looking at it.
Observe the half-confused, half-inquiring
! look upon the face of the awakening Laz-
arus. Observe, also, the attitude and eX-
| preston of the Savious who takes him
! gently by one hand, while he points with
| the other toward the distant city.
Before anybody could get oti'an opinion
| i'm the case, the innocent old ass at the
! piano struck up,
/ Come, rise up, William Ridley,
And go along with me"