The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-01-26


a man who believed in it, and labored TO the
end. Sincere work well done is the beauty
and fullness of life, and may this be said of
all of us as we say it now of the brilliant,
bitter, aggressive champion who has passed
to his rest.
ABOLITION OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM.
From the NJ Y. Tribune.
The celebrated Mr.. Sampson Brass, upon
pretending to discover the iniquity of SER
want, exclaimed, with an excess of skepticism:
-"And this is the world that turns upon its
own axis, and has lunar influences, and revo-
lutions round heavenly bodies, and various
games of that sort !" But here comes a GER
tain DIR. p. T.. Trastour de Varano, late of
New Orleans who has published, or is about
to publish, work in which he has or will
''play at bowls with the sun and moon, de-
molish the Copernican system, repeal the laws
of Kepler, and prove the pippin of Sir Isaac
Newton to have been as false as Dead Sea
fruit or the apple of Eve. We mourn the
pippin, because the story of Sir Iseac
knocked on the head by it was one of the
solaces of our infancy; but inasmuch as Dr.
de Narano proposes to confute all astronomi-
cal learning, and even announces that the
sun at some future day twill rise in the West
and set in the East, it is hardly worth while
to be too sorry over any particular part of
human learning For the doctor brings the
whole heavens and the whole earth to right
about face; informs US that ''the stars have
general movement that carries them from
West to East" and that before long "Easter
will come in the middle of spring." to which,
theologicaly, we have no objection, so it
does not cease to come ut all. Now it is that
we begin to thank our fortune that we are not
scientific; that we have not spent the days of
our life in figuring and our nights in looking
through telescopes. STILL to think that
''the sun is not placed in the centre of
the planetary universe!" To think that we
| do not annually revolve around that lumi-
nary ~ That we have been under delusion
respecting our own orbit, which is mot
circle We are bewildered We are intel
lectually bedevilled! We have believed in
the almanac but the almanac is all wrong
This, however, we are proud to say, does not
affect the election returns in the Tribune
| Afnadndc Gust published); for, except so far
as the Democratic" vote may be influenced
by the moon, these do not depend upon the
state of astronomical science.
We have very little heavenly learning, and
trustfully confess that we are not in posi-
ton to confute the teachings of Dr. de
Varano. Indeed, we rather admire and enjoy
them This being an era of change, why
should we not change all that We have
always thought the conduct of the sun to be
extremely whimsical and reprehensible. We
have always felt that if he was ''the centre of
the system head centre, if we may be
allowed the expression-that there were times
| and seasons when he deserved to be impeached
and removed from Office. When he was wanted
for turnips he came out for grass, and when
he was wanted for fruit he vailed his shining
head in cloud. There are thousands of our
| readers who have felt that weather" ESQ
caled) was a snare and delusion; that the
| $50 called) succession of the seasons" was a
dreadful mistake; and this opinion they have
| mostly entertained when shivering through
June or perspiring through December. They
will appreciate the discovery of our learned
| doctor, that climate is subject to extreme
| ''vicissitudes and confoundedly disagreea-
| BILE vicissitudes some of them are 1t is
sort of comfort to know that hereafter ''we
need not expect any specific weather" and
this will be a special satisfaction to those
| learned persons who prophesy concerning the
same, inasmuch as they can now give the
reins to their imagination, and prophesy
whatever they please.
| But, after all, we are thinking of that par
| ticular morning when the sun, having COM
| pieted his arrangements for doing so, will
| astonish mankind by coming up where he
| went down the previous evening, and will rise
| III the west We shall not be here to see it,
nor will DR.. de Yarano; but we can imagine
the frighted population of the world running
pale lips, ''The Doctor was right" For a
time, on earth and in heaven, the confusion
| will be extreme. Persons having letters to
write will know not how to date them, and
persons having notes to pay, in the general
transmogrifcation of everything, will suffer
them to go to protest. Cocks will fall dead
with wonder from their perches, and cooks
will be in a quandary between supper and
br, akfast the polite will vary between Good
morning" :" and "Good EVENING"" and those
who are of regular habits, and have taken
their shower-baths at sunrise for years, will
! glance obviously at the accustomed string
and shiver woefully on the brink. We have
to announce, however, that the usual morn
ing edition of the Tribune will be printed
under any circumstances; and that when the
sun rises we shall come out, whether he rise
at - o'clock in the daytime or at ~ o'clock
in the night. Upon this point we shall make
no concession.
Meanwhile, at this momenious season,
when the great physical revolution is consum-
mated, and the disappointed. and dismayed
ghost of Copernicus is losing it's way among
| the disarranged stars, we can fancy the most