The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1870-10-29
A Hyashoc Romance.
VlgaiSIA CITY, Oct. II, 1870.

NIR0iNIA CITY, Oct. II, 1870
DEAR CHRONICLE: I have a very
dear friend in this city, whom | call
Calamity" He came to California in
40 since which time, until year ago,
he seem to have been the victim of every
particularly mean man in the country. By
force of necessity he has been miner, u
farmer, an editor, waiter, an ox-driver,
a carpenter, a blacksmith. u politician. q
minister. a bartender, butcher, a doc
tor, wood>chopper, and even Justice
of the Peace, which is to say, judge.
1t was at Silver Mountain, i've or six
years ago, that first met sCalami.y. !"
He was arrested there on the charge of
STEALING a MULE,
And, til ough innocent, was compelled 20
compromise by paying the owner $500
and working out the remainder at 50 per
day. The 5000 which he paid was sup
posed to be the money he received for
the stolen mule; and as the animal was
valued at 5000 and Casamity could not
establish his innocence of the theft, he
was showed into a tunnel and there made
to labor for one hundred days for moth
ing and his hash. He was good at s;rik-
ing with the sledge, but his companions,
who We're com paratively inferior work
men received 81 per day, while poor
Calamity had to beg tobacco and run his
face for liquid luacheons at the bar.
When his time was up, Calamity pro-
ceeded to the Office of the owner of the
mule, who also owned the mine and
tunnel, and said he:
'Mr. Smith, arc you satisfied -
Yes, said the capitalist, you may go
now but take my advice-dont banker
after any more mule flesh"
MIR. Smith, l am an innocent man, as
| have told you thousand times before !;
but who is to
PAY MY WASH BILL!
Who is to pay for the three gray shirts
wore out in the tunnel Who is to settle
for the chalk marks on he black board of
my thirst ? That's what's the matter"
Here is ten dollars"
But owe Fifty, aud, as 1 am an hon
orabIG man, it must be paid to the last
Bit"
Cant you run off with the debt as
you did with the mule? If ten dollars
will do you any good, here it is. You
may take it or go to the devil, just as
you please
Considering my innocence, Mr..
Smith, consider this as hard treatment
| suppose shall have to keep on work
ing ia the tunnel until l pay my debts"
Mt by d-n sight, said Smith,
unless you work for two dollars and a
half Z day. You miners have altogether
too good thing in this country"
Two and half a day, MIR. Smith
Excuse me-
You are excused" said the capital
ist
Calamity now packed up his blankets
and started for an adjoining district,
hoping in a few weeks to transmit the
amount of his Indebtedness through the
Express Company. Alas. however, he
had not gone three miles before he was
overtaken by Hebrew creditor, who
demanded the blankets as security for
the amount due on three gray shirts and
aud pair of miscegeuation socks
t.Guod God Mr.. Isaacs" said Calam-
bed ?"
'-Fot else eau I to ven you want to
sheat me out Of nine dollars and fifty
cents"
Cant you wait until 1 get work Do
you think | am thief, say 2"
You stole mule, SO you did, and 1.
want tc blankets"
What could Calamity do but submit?
The creditor took the blankets, and my
fiieud returned to Silver Mountain. Co
ing to the capitalist he said:
mir. Smith. you've got me this time.
I must have work, for l am in debt, and
have concluded to take two and u half
per day"
1T takes two to make a bargain"
said the capitalist Il have changed my
mind"
'How SOP" said Calamity; .-don't
you want me p
Yes" said Smith, taking advantage
of the mis.ortuncs af my friend ''but two
dollars per day is quite sufficient
shall pay no more"
''Tavc you no regard for honest Ia
Dor p said Calamity. "Do you want to
place me on level with Chinamen?''
"You are 10 better" said the capital
ist. 'Wcre l not afraid the miners
WOULD CUT MY THROAT,
I'd hire ChiDamen tomorrow"
"Neil d-n your un9encrous heart,
said Calamity. .'Yet, Mr. Smith, since
| am at your mercy, suppose must go
to work"
Just as you please, sir. But remcns-
Der you get but two dollars"
Calamity went to work under protest,
aud it was whole year before he sue.
ceeded IN meeting his Obligations. But
THE DAY OF RETRIEUTIoN
Has arrived, as will be seen below. Yes
terday morning | received tap on tho
back which came near knocking my teeth
down nv throat. The blow came from
Calamity.
"Good heavens" gasped "can you
not address me with your tongue instead
of your fst?"
'.IIa, ha, ha ]! you are SO easily offend
cd, must say. Cant you take joke !?
But let me explain. l feel unusually
happy this morning, owing TO little dis