The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-07-14
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

cheap.
Few artists can draw pretty mouth !;
still fewer can draw tooth
Il RoNDoUT grocer notifies the public
that he has Knew Syder for Sail"
WHAT horn produces the most discord-
ant music? The drinking horn.
DoCToRs of Law and Medicine insure
III the Washington Life Insurance Com
pany.
To convert an artless maiden into
heartless one, there only wants a che"
81 HAVE not loved lightly" said a man
who married 3O0pound widow
Policies become selfsustaining in the
Washington Life Insurance Company of
New York.
BLESSED is the pedagogue. In scorch-
ing days, he is the only one who keeps
school
The "sportive seer" of daily paper
says ave do not aspire to the glory of
foretelling recent events.
y HIsTRIoNIC individual, who has heard
a good deal about the theatre of war"
suggests that the back seats must be very
desirable.
To NEWLY MARRIED CoUPLEs.-Have
anything for dinner rather than Il fowl
II you would keep "thc skeleton" out OF
the cupboard
NoTICE.-TO any one who can say.
"Shoes and socks shock Susan" with
rapldity and faultless pronunciation, four
times running, a large reward will be
paid.
A WAC, passing by house which had
been almost consumed by fire, inquired
whose it was Being told that it was a
matters" Alb" SAID he, "then the loss
will be felt"
BOY" called out Brown to the waiter
at Sam Don't call me boy, sir; Pm
no boy, sir" said the latter "Then Go
as you'd be done by" put in Brown, land
cont call this mutton lamb any morep
MAMMA" said an intelligent little girl,
what is the meaning of book being
printed IN l2moy' why, my dear" re-
Piled the mother, it means the book will
De published III twelve months"
Now, my little boys and girls" said
teacher, ~" want you to be very quiet-so
quiet that you can hear pin drop" Ina
minute all was silent, when little boy
shreked, Let her drop"
=" No one would take you for what Won
are" said an oldfasbioned gentleman. a
Gay or two ago, to dandy who had more
mar than brains. "Why?" was immedi-
ately asked. because they cannot see
Jour cars"
IIAcHERAy being told that an acouaint-
ance OF his, who was notorious for his
love OF beer, had sailed for India, replied,
" lie was a good fellow. Take him for
haif-and half we shall not look upon his
like againw
WILL forfeit my head If / am in
the wrong" exclaimed a warm and tall
orator to the President Montesquieu, in
an argument. Il accept it," replied the
philosopher; "any trihe among friends
has value"
In view of the hot weather last month
western editor can't see the applicable
W OF Lowels OftquOted line
What is so rare day in June?''
ana suggests an amendment, thus:
What is so cooked az a day in Junew
NOT AT ALL PARTIcuLAR.-A bachelor
says that all he should ask for in wife
would be good temper, health, good un-
derstanding, agreeable physiognomy, good
hgure, good connection, domestic habits.
resources of amusement, good spirits. con.
versational talents, elegant manners, and
money!
DR.. BEECHER often relate! the anecdote
OF q minister who preached six sermons
10 show who Mclchisedek was. and closed
MS last sermon with the summary "And
so we See, brethren, that we don't know
who Meichiscdek was, and that il faint
no matter"
IHE RULING PASSION. "A famous usurer
OF faris being on his deathbed, his con-
lessor presented crucifix to him, with a
view TO awaken him to sense of his stu.
,.tion- The dying mser, after examining
the cross with the most minute attention
suddenly exclaimed, "Sif, can lend Won
but very small sum on such pledge"
SICK Man in Boston, who noticed his
littie daughter looking eagerly at some
irult nj his bedside, SAID to her: "You
wouiu not take them away from your sick
papa, would YOU She replied, hesitat
ingly, No, l wouldn't" and then colored
up, and lngenuously added: "But. papa
l tell story when l say So" He gave
MOTHER" said the little girl who was
engaged In making her doll an apron. 81
peIeVe shall be duchess when grow
up" " How do you ever expect 10 he.
come duchess, my daughter?" her mother
asked. Why, by marrying DulcLnan.
70 be sure" replied the girl.
They have a very comical system of
passes In the theatres and places ofamuse.
ment in the Philippine Islands. When n
natlye wishes To- leave the apartment with
the inteptiOn of returning. he has Lie
naked forearm, near the wrist. slammed
az ne goes out with black die, which So
cures his re-admission, and at the same
time 0bvlates all anxiety as to his
losing his ticket. On his return this mark
IS easily wiped out. Tickets not trans.
ferablc!
IT has been generally believed, for MANY
years, That leather bed was a sure pro-
tection from lightning A circumstance
Which recently occurred in Greenfield.
Cohnectlcut, scatters this belief To the
"ihus: lightning entered the apartment
oi MI ana MIS-. Banks, tore open the
leather bed upon which the parties men.
TONED, with small child, were sleeping.
ana set the bed-clothes on fire. sinped off
the hair and eyebrows of Mrs EanLs
biIstercd her chest from the neck down
ana Knocked her completely senseless
Mr.. Banks was also momeniar,lv stunned
but recovered in time to extlnpuisb inc
hre. The child, although lying on its
mothers arm, was not hurt
CHILDREN hear new words, and often
use them with little IDEA of their true
meaning. They are frequently blamed
ior DONG, or not doing, things, when
Their little minds have by no means com.
pretended the words employed in giving
tnem directions. Mamma" said a wee
enid, one Sunday evening, after having
"a. sun IN the house all day, like good
cnLd, have honored you 10 day." al
uoh Know, replied the mother, wonder
'ney; why Il" you ask - Because"
saJs me niue one shaking her head sadly,
me binie says Honor thy father and
mother that my days my be long, and
saw" 'e'