The Portland daily press., 1870-05-25

Wednesday Morning, Hay 25, 1870.
About YalIer Dogs.
CORTLAND,

When Noah disembarked at Ararat be had
scarcely touched the pier when he proceeded
to tally his passengers. He had just check
ed his last item in the list-a Mr.. and Mrs.
bed, 6ug-when the cringing figure OF quad
fuped came sneaking down the gang-plank
with his tail between his legs. "Drat it! if
!here amt that yaer dogr' says Moab, aim
R my vicious Kick with his brogan at the BRUTE
but with a facility horn of long and bitter ex-
peiience, the brute lodged the proiecti,e. and
elacuiating ki yf'-which is Syrac tor De-
cnhed with thanks" or mot for Joe,-ba dis
appeared, while Noah, who had his scales
| on, was unable to recover his equilibrinm' and
sat down with emphasis on the back of his
head. VI NE
Noah arose, and in accordance with the
| style prevalent among the patriarchs, he pro~
ceeded to soothe his affronted dignity by pro-
nouncing variegated anathema upon the vel
Ter dog, which had Enthusiastically sneaked
unobserved on board in the confusion of put
ting to sea, and capsized the captain at the
first port. He cursed that dog in body, limb,
bark, hide, hair. tail, and wag, and all his gen.
erations, relations, and kindred and consan-
unity or affinity, and his heirs and assigns.
He cursed him with endless hunger, with per-
petual fear, with perennial laziness, with hope
less mango, with incessant feas, and with his
tail between his legs. He closed his stock OF
maledictions by a sparkling display of pyro-
tecnics, from the demoralizing effects OF which
the yeller dog has never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him like reven-
ue stamp, the yeller dog can't help being cuss-
ed. He don't try to help it. He follows Noah's
program with sneaking fidelity. He IS an Ish-
maelite among dogs He receives the most
oppressive coutesies, in the form of brickbats,
poots, and hot water, which make his life an
animated target excursion. He boards around
like district school teacher, and it is meal
time with him twenty-iour hours in the day
The rest of the time he bankers after some
thing to eat. He is too omniverous tor an en-
icure. Cram him at Demonico's aud he would
hunger for desert from an Albany boarding
house,
He can't be utilized. He is too tired. As
a syill-cart locomotive, a hunter, or sentinel,
he is an ignominous failure. The dog-churn
was strategic attempt to employ his waste
energies, but he hadn't any waste energies, and
butter lad too much self-respect 10 come at
his persuasion. So the dog-churn was drop
ped.
No sausage-maker dare foreclose his lien ON
the yaller dog, lest his customers-no longer
soothed and sustained by an unialtering trust
transfer their patronage to some less auda-
cious dealer. The savages, who admire baked
dog, and who can even attack tripe and ex-
plore the mysteries of hash, without dismay,
acknowledge the yaller dog to be too much for
their gastric intrepidity.
He always manages to belong to a ragged,
tobacco-chewing, whiskey-drnking master,
whose business IS swapping dogs and evading
the dog tax. The yaer dog isacquainted with
himself, and he enjoys the intimacy with edi-
tying contempt. lie slips along through life,
on diagonal dog trot, as ii in doubt as to
which end OF him is entitled to the precedence.
He is always pervaded by hang-Gog sense of
plIllt. and when rptrilntiVa is fasfap-
ed to his tail, he flies from the wrath to come
with Mortified celebrity which ought to be
very suggestive to two-egeed sinners of SIM
lar ordeal in store for them.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak in italics,
he is Slouch.-Mdrk Ttcain.