The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-01-04

saw lallner like q dog;
saw puppy mixing grOg;
saw three men who saw them too.
And will confirm what tell Won.
neAp The most effe citing specimen of
amatory poetry that has come to our no.
tlce is the following:-
When old Carlow sits on Sally's chair,
On! don't wish that were there.
When her fairy fingers pat his head.
Oh! don't wish twas me instead
When Sally's arms his neck imprison
oh DON'T wish my neck was his'n;
when Sally kisses Carow's nose.
Oh don't wish that were those
e3Ap Ii cat doth meet cat upon oar
den wall, and II a cat doth greet cat oh
need they both to squall Every Tommy
has his Tabby, waiting on the wall and
yet she welcomes his approach by an un-
earthly yawl. And if kitten wish to
court upon the garden wall, WHY don't be
sit and sweetIy smile and. not stand up
and bawl, and lift his precious back up
high, and show his teeth and moan. as #
twere collie more than love that made the
" feller" groan?
Ssg~ AT a dinner party, Erskine was
seated near Miss Henrietta- oon
monly called Miss Hennie - who
had been celebrated for her beauty. but
wa was then somewhat past the meridian of
life; "They say you are great man for
making puns," said Miss Hennie to the
wit :. could you make pun on me ?"
All, Hennie," was the cruel reioinder
"yc are no chicken !"
AsasN "A temperance lecturer, descant-
ing on the superior virtues of cold wafer
remarked: When the world had H.
come so corrupt that the Lord could do
nothing with it, he was obliged to give
II a thorough sousing in cold water'1-
: I es, replied topper present, but it
Killed every critter on the face of the
earth.p 'Ne
aeap Brown had been in love with a
young lady and asked permission to call
her by the expressive name of some ami.
NAL, which was granted ON condition that
she should have the same privilege. On
leaving, Brown said, Goodnight. deer"
Goodnight, BORE" said she. Brown has
since SINCE given up the company of young
RsaS~ An lrishman was bound over bva
police magistrate the other day to keep
the peace towards all Her Maiestv's sinh.
Jects," as the bonds always run. "Al
right, yer honor" replied Pat: " ITl ob,
serve the bond but God help the first
foreigner get my hands on
aea- DR.. West-whose first w;a wo.
Experience, daughter of Consider How.
land. was very tall woman used te
say that " he had learned from Iona Ear.
Pertence that it was capital thing to be-
H6A-, A man called another an extor-
toner, for suing him. why, nv friend,
replied the man who brought the suit
l did it to oblige you" "To obl;oe
me, indced-how so ?" "Why, to oblies
you to pay me-" "
Bag An Irishman in the wav Of ;llus
trating the horrors of solitary conf;ne.
ment, stated that out of one hundred per,
sons sentenced to endure this punishment
for life, only fifteen survived it.
Bay " Patrick, why do you write such
a large hand p "Suro, yer honor, it's
70 me ovid mother, who is very deaf, and
I'm writing her loud letter."
gsaS~ A prisoner was examined in court
and contradicted himself "Why do
you lie SO :" asked the judge. "Hayn't
you lawyer 7"
Ssay~ Ii gentleman lnarries, the lady
must be won before they are married.
afterward they are both one.
sA- A romance of the middle ages