The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-09-15
THIS AND THAT.

| -Clap DllSCer Oh u pOet anu IL WI
make him soar.
The grandest verse in the existence
the universe.
The last is the best friend to the
shoemaker.
War is carried on with bullets and
| bulletins.
You can't marry miss if you mar
ry widow.
1t moves in the best society cas-
tor oil.
"A fine coat may cover fool, but
never concels one.
The coughing hoss' is the Indian
name for locomotive.
Sharp wits, like sharp knives, do not
often cut their owners fingers.
The instrument that pricks the soul
of empire needle gun.
Why is thunder storm like an on
ion? Because 1t is peal on peal.
The first Eve angelic alliance
Adam marriage to Eve.
The way to get good wife-get a
good girl and go to the parson.
-Punchinello says that after Turk
ish bath man can walk clean home.
Why is the practice of praising chill
dren like opium ? Because it laudanum
How should a miller address his lady
love? In the language of .fours to be
sure.
-"My wife, said critic, sis the
most even tempered person in the world
she always mad.
The frog diet in the French army
satisfactorily accounts for its agility In
leaping across bitches.
Honest industry has brought that
man to the scafold," said wag, as he
saw carpenter upon staging.
Indian corn alone. will keep a man
from starving, because he can always
make good meal out of it.
Douglas Jerrold once said to very
thin man, Sir, you are like pin, but
without the head or the point. F"
Why are pimples on drunkard' S
face like the cuts in London paper :?
They are illustrations of Punch.
Gen. Spinner is called ''the man that
writes name or the greenbacks that
looks like string of eels. .
"A Virginian says that he would rath-
er have keg of shinge nails than all
the scenery on the banks Of the Potomac.
Julius, said one niger 20 anoth-
err, ''am you better dis mornin ?'s ''No,
| was better yesterday, but | sc got ODER
dat
Why should we be like the Hindoos
If there were no women among us? Be
cause we would all be he then.
Mrs. Darlington says that because
dancing-girls are stars, it is nc reason
why they should be regarded as heaven
" bodies.
"A man who went fishing in private
pond in a suburban town. complains that
he got only one bite, and that was from
a dog whose master OWES the pond.
"A lady lately dropped one of her
eyebrows in the church pew, and dread
fully frightened a Young man sitting
next to her, who thought it was his mus
tache.
A lady who was not Shakesperian
scholar, hearing the "Merry Wives Of
Windsor highly praised, inquired how
many wives Mr. Windsor had.
a big Indian" strayed away from
his camp and got lost Inquiring the
way back, he was asked, Indian lost? %
No" said he disdainfully, Indian no
lost. Indian here Wiewam lost. "
Nine hundred and ninety-nine times
out of thousand the lady who marries
a man addicted to the use Of Intoxicating
liquors, suffers the torments Of he'll this,
side OF the grave.
Upon hearing that the Prince Fred
erick Charles meant to attack Nancy,
Mrs Darlington told Ike that she al
ways thought those Prooshun Princes
were mean enough to strike woman.
Bridget, in reply to a remark of her
mistress, who said that she had put too
much garlic in the omelets, replied that
she did so that it would not taste so
strongly Of the eggs, which were bad.
On a tombstone in churchyard IN
Ulster is the following epitapt Erected
to the memory Of John Phillips, acct
dentally shot as a mark of affection by
his brother
WHEN the Emperor was passing
through Chalons the soldiers Kissed at
i,i.n, whreupon his Majesty turned to
the Tranquil Infant at his side, aud
said My son, what geese ~ Yes,
father replied the youth; but isn't
ism it pity the Russians are picking
their feat hers?'