The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1870-06-15
#sqellnneonH.
why Aun. sally never Married,

why Aunt Sally Never Married,
Nov, Aunt Sally, do please tell us
why you never married. You know you
said once that when you We're girl you
were engaged to a minister, and promised
you would tell US all about it sometime.
Now, aunt, please do"
"Wsn, if / ever did see such girls in my
born days. It's tease, tease, from morn
ing till night. you must know all about
everything that you haven't any business
to know anything about. Such inquisi-
tive, pestiferous critters as you are When
l was young, girls were different; they
minded their business, and didn't 60 sail
ing around with whole string Of beaux
getting their heads filed with all kinds of
nonsense. l never dared to ask my aunts
married or single, about any of their af-
fairs. Pretty mess I'd have got into if
had. When they offered to tell me any
thing of their own accord, I kept nay
mouth shut and listened. Everything is
different nowadays, young folks have no
respect for their elders. But as / see that
1 am not going to have any peace till 1 do
tell you, why Just listen, and don't let me
hear word out of your mouths till get
through"
That's right, Aunt Sally, go right
II
"Well, you see, when l was about sew
enteen years old, was living in Utica, in
the State of New York. Though I say it
myself, was quite a good looking girl
then, and had several beaux. The one
that took my fancy most was a young
minister, very promising young man,
and remarkably pious and steady. He
thought good deal of me, and took
fancy to him, and things ran on till we
were engaged. One evening he came to
see me- remember it as well as if it
were only yesterday. When he came
into the parlor where 1 was sitting alone,
he came up to me and-but pshaw girls,
don't like TO tell you the rest"
20, Aunt Sally, for mercy sake don't
stop. tell us what he did2'
"Well, as / said, he came up TO me, and
put his arms around me, and rather hug
ged me, when got excited and some frus-
trated, it was a long time ago, and don't
know but what / might have Rugged him
back little Then / felt-but now Just
clear out, every one of you, 1 shan't tell
you any more"
Goodness gracious, no, Aunt Sally
Tell US how you felt. Didn't you feel
good2 And what did he do next2"
20, such tolments as you are was
like any other girl, and pretty soon pre-
tended TO be mad about it, and pushed
him away, though / wasn't mad u Bit
You must know that the house where
lived was on one of the back streets of
the town. There were glass doors in the
parlor, which opened right over the street,
and no balcony or anything of the kind
in front of the house. As 1t was in the
summer season, these doors were open and
the shutters drawn to. l stepped back a
little from him, and when he edged up
close pushed him away again pushed
harder than l intended to, and don't you
think, girls, the poor fellow lost his bal
ance and fell through one Of the doors into
the street. Yes, it's so. AS he fell l gave
a scream and caught him-but declare
won't tell anything more. I'm going to
leave the room"
mo, no, Auut Sally. How did you
catch him? Did it hurt him much p
well, if l must l must. As he fell
head first, and as he was going, 1 caught
him by the legs of his trowsers. 1 held
on for a minute and tried to pull him
back, but his suspenders gave way, and
the poor young man fell clear out of his
pantaloons into a whole parcel of ladies
and gentlemen passing along the street"
20, aunty, aunty, lordy, lordyP'
There, that's right squeal and giggle
as much as you want to. Girls that can
not hear Of little thing like that with
out tearing around the room, and te-he-
he-ing in such away don't know enough
to come home when it rains. A nice time
the man that ever marries one of you will
have, won't he? Catch me telling you
anything again"
"But, Aunt Sally, what became of him?
Did you ever see him again"
mo, the moment be touched the ground
he got up and left the place in terrible
hurry. l tell you it was a sight to be re-
membered to see how that man run
Father happened to be coming up the
street at the time, and he said he never
saw anything equal to it in his whole life.
heard others say he did the fastest run
ming ever known in that part of the coun-
try, and that he never stopped or looked
behind until he was two miles out of town.
He sent me note few days afterward,
saying that the engagement must be bro
ken of, as he could never look me in the
lace again after what had happened
he went out west, and l believe he is
preaching in Illinois. But he never mar
ried. He was very modest, and suppose
he was so badly frightened that time that
he never dared to trust himself near a wo-
man again. That, girls, is the reason l
never married. felt very bad about it
for long time, for he was real good
man, and I've often thought to myself
that we should always have been happy
ghts Suspe'sders hadn't giren q0ayP