Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-08-26
M1sCErLANEOUs ITEMS.
THE DRHss.uRc1n -orinoline.

lHh ukl0HT OF THE OhASON-H oAASh |
heit.
WHAT auctioneers like to see~-Forbid-
ding countenances.
A MAINE man brags of growing twenty
inches Of beard in two years.
THE way to get good wife-Get
good girl and go to the plrson.
Why is thunder storm like an onion
Because it is peal on peal.
IT is mistake to suppose the sun is
supported in the sky by its beams.
A HAT belonging TO the first Governor
of Massachusetts is still preserved.
DIVIDENDS are applied to keep the pol.
ley In force In the Washington Life, OF
New YorK.
No wonder eyes sometimes look plead |
ing and sorrowful; they are under the lash |
all the time.
Why should Romeo not have cared for |
the month of JuneY Because 1t was not
July yet (Juliet).
TIE Charter of the Washington Life !
secures all the profits to the insured. |
More than this cannot be done.
A GUEST at hotel in Leavenworth ate
over a dozen ears of corn at one meal the
day before his funeral.
A CUTE American naturalist has OBJ
served that the bee as it flies from the
hive is, oddly enough, going TO hum.
AN old farmers description of point
less preacher was: "a good man, likely
but he will rake with the teeth up"
Ir is a fact that statue diminishes in
size when exposed to a shower of rain
it instantly becomes statue'wet.
A YOUNG man recently married in IBe-
| lott, Wis, helped his wife, while courting,
to sew together rags enough to make 90
yards of carpet.
FoLLY-To think you can make pork
out of pig. iron, or that you can become
shoemaker by drinking sherry cobblers.
A MAN in Iowa City, in drawing his
check to pay railroad bond tax, made II
payable to highway robbers or bearer"
ONE pound of coal in the hands Of g
good chemist can by its consumption be
made to evaporate, or convert into steam,
fourteen pounds OF water.
A NEW ENGLAND old maid, who Ee-
Gently went to Nevada, writes home that
she already has ga husband and pair Of
twins, and hasn't really got acquainted
there yet"
DIsEAsE and pills, when they enter a
mans body, are like two lawyers when
they undertake to settle his affairs; they
compromise the matter by laying out the
patient.
A WOMAN lately carried child to a
London hospital-s child in nearly dy-
ing state-aud the doctor ELECTED from
her that she had been administering spi-
ders 20 it asa cure for whooping- cough.
A DELAWARE man, who went to Cali
fornia, last year, and purchased $5S
worth of stock in a gold mine, has recent
ly been offered $4,000 for mis- claim.
THERE are 81, ,177 bath houses attached
to private dwellings in Philadelphia, and
the paved streets of that city, if all placed
in one line, would reach to the extent of
475 miles.
THERE lisa clergyman in Maine whose
entire income Is tour hundred dollars a
year, and he has family to support. OF
this sum he gave thirty-four dollars, last
year, for charitable purposes.
A JOKER in San Antonio, Texas, paint
ed and disguised himself as an I1dian,
went to his own home, scared his wife
into fit, set the dogs to howling, and
caused his child to jump into cistern.
A NEWARK widow recently found in
the coat pocket of her deceased husband,
book, sho wing that he had placed in a
savings bank of that city some $500, of
which she had no previous knowledge.
A CALIFORNIA paper finds it necessary
to explain that the peculiar taste Of the
water in an Alameda well was caused by
the presence of six dead cats. Its medici.
nal virtues had previously been highly
praised.
THE builder of church now in course
of erection in Eng Gland, when the toast oi
his health was given, rather energetically
replied that he was more fitted for the
scaffold than for public speaking"
BRIDGET, in reply to remark of heI
mistress, who said that she had put toe
much garlic in the omelets, replied that
i, she did so that it would not taste SC
7 strongly of the eggs, which were bad. 81,
REV. HOBART SEYMOUR calculates thai
of all Christendom, 170,3l4,000 are con
, nected with the Roman Church, 104 541, :
coo with Protestant Churches, 81, ,56S 00(
with Greek, Armenian and other smaller
communions. H-f -T-
AN old couple in Cambridge, Mass.
, quarrelled, and the man took watch h
gave his wife at their marriage and sold i
In Boston. She then stGle his false teetI
while he slept and kept them till h'
brought the watch back. Draw gamel
A Prudent man advised his drunkel
E. servant to put by his money for a rainy
t day. In few weeks the master inquire(
: how much of his wages he had saved
{ Faith, none at all" said he; it rainet
: yesterday and it all went"
a JOHNNY was watching his mothe
I wreathing her head with the lovely orang
: bloom of our Louisiana gardens. Oh
& man he said, "how sweet that is Yol
Just look as if pa was dead, and you Wer
3 going to be married over again !"
: A SooTcHMAN who had put up at Al
- inn was asked in the morning how b
j. slept. "Ah, mon" replied Donald, "na'
!. vera well either, but was muckle bette
|, OFF than the bugs, for del a one o. theI
r closed an e'e the hale nicht."
4 DEARBORN Corr, a successful farmer {
a Tuition Borough, N. H., has and noV
|. wears a pair of boots manufactured fC
II him thirty years ago last December II
n has worn them for dress boots ever sine,
It and they will probably hold good for th
e next decade.
o. FIRST MAPRoN.-" Your doll looks yer
)f poorly, Jemima." Second matron-" Ye
Is dear think it frets great deal aboT
2, Alfred He Knocked opeof eyes out la
IF week, and lost a great deal oftsaw6us
It and hasn't been the same doll since"
. A BOHEMIAN, who was obliged to cam
- - out the other evening, when aske
~ ~ where he slept remarked that he occupie
y bed. Indeed" calculated brother L
- II thought you had to rough it outside
y "Well," No. i Teplied,"I slept on q
n onion bed" arF r-'-r faaf-f '-. .
N AN editor of one of the New York ma
az.nes lately sent back his tailor's bill a
, / companied by neatly printed slip i
q forming the tailor that his MS was " r
az spectfully declined" Force of hab
to The mistake was not discovered until u
or next day. TIE tailor discovered it.
is A YOUNG gentleman of Buffalo went
a. serenade his lady-loVe the other nigt
a and while in the act of singing the iii
le verse of the beautiful ballad, I" I'm drear
4 ing, love, of thee" was sudden
awakened by the contents of a tub
cold water from third story windo'
q, He didn't continue the song. sr..t