, 1870-05-14
RIcHARDSON-M'FARlAMD.
Mrs. Rte1ka0<lson,s- Statement,
: --''--
The Letter Of ]. Il. Browne.

/. ). =: -
+, We h.7o already pubhahed the telesraphic
synopsis Of Mrs. Hch1rdson's narrative Of her
married Life with Mcfarland, which fills eight
columns Of the New York Tribune !, but We
copy below, entire, the letter to Ars- Calhoun,
in which she first revealed the condition in
which ehe was living, and which led to tho
subsequent lettera frum Mrs. Calhoun which
we're produced st McFallAnd's- t1iA. Mrs.
Richardson says: ~---~!
On the afternoon OF January 2, + vrote =
long letter to Mrs, Calhoun. to whom, in IL OF
Of my troubles.
In this lettser,- which it cost mo terrible
pain and humiliation to write, because my
hnbita OF coucealment were 80 natural aud dif.
fcu1t to overcome, l glozed over some OF tha
less intenpersnce, and tried, with all the hu-
nanitY and Justice which was in my nature, to
speak most gently and impartin1lY Of this un-
fortunate man. The following is the exact
copy Of the first confidence ever made to this
loyal friend Of my an1ieties and struggles: .
:-.''. JAM 9, 1861
MY DARLING AND CoMroRTER: have seat
long letter; Of telling you some things which
have never before told any enc; but which,
kept secret and brooded over, seem to eat out
my heart and consume my life day By day. I
was niaerab1y unhappy yesterday. al the latter
part Of ths day; Yeste1day morning, after |
lad Kissed Percy SGood-by," and hid ny
parcels in my arms ready to take them over,
some ittle impatient words said irntated 1Ir.
McF Farland, who is very sensitive and quick
tempered. It 11uae from my asking him to
help me- carry some Of my bundles. and his
"a ~ t1.Af.
angry. j did not say half IS much as hear
women every day say to thair husbands, With
Quit being remembered on either side. I
should not have remembered it one instant,
but he does, and I vent away without smooth
ing out the snarl- It vas perhaps . little per-
verse, but I got 50 tired Of constantly smooth
ing and coa11ng. But all day was nervous,
when he did not call with Percy as he had
promised, and Wzs very ANXIOUS. could
not get away in the evening without showing
how uneasy was, SO I stayed. When got
home, found Percy in bed hugging up a book
After IN hour or two OF agoniziug Willing,
woitine- Listening for footsteps, and dre1ding
to hear them-which arc only fsw OF the hun
dreds OF hours I have spent Soho came in,
two-thirda intoxicated and very moIose- ]
asked him why he could so spoil my day, and
swued that *s1 had treated him outragaously,
and he should spend the New Years a. he
chose"
Two weeks ago-the morning Of the Tues-
day before I vent to Salom to read, you re-
uacmber-1 got utterly discouraged, aud said
something, not reproachfu1, to Ill. 3IcFadsnd
about my feelings- One cannot always keep
I'D, you know. There w-s no unkindness be-
tween us, only when sink little in hope he
sinks in despair. That night he did not come
home to dinuer, and Vas obliged to leave my
babies when went to the theatre, awake and
alone. Ali the &ening / was burning with
anxiety to get home. He did not come for
me, and went home alone after I got through
the play found him in q beastly slumbar,
from which could not azouse him he had
been drinking all day. was to start that next
morning for massachusetts,, and it msde NE
almost crazy. Next morning. he was in sack-
cloth and ashes for his conduct He wept,
and begged me to forgive him--not to tai my
father and mother, and awore he would Vindi-
cate himself before me- by different life this
year.
Dear, try to write these things coldly and
mechanically. Isoan1 to do SO, 80 as not to be
unjust, but must write you feel must
let you know something Of my inner life, and
Of the struggles that no one can zee, or I shall
| die.
You know, my darling, when was married l
t had not much experience in life, or Judgment
OF character When Mr.. Mcfarland asked me
to marry him, I sail Is les, and without prop
/ er dehberation- Twas not in love with any
! one elso; Everybody got married, I thought,
and never Questioned whether I was suit.
ciently in love or not. thought I was, and did
\ not reason- After1 Was married. and began to
know Mr. Mcfarland, found him radical to
| the extreme in all his ideas He seemed to
hare many heartfelt schemes Of philanthropy
and lnrely traits Of character. He had beauti-
| full theories, and be believed he acted on them,
| when he did not, and was often cruelty unjust
| to me and my motives. He was naadly jealous
of me- from the fi1st-a jealousy which seemed
to me- to have its roots in radical want Of
confidence in woman's virtue A bachelor ex-
| not always chaste, I think; but to me. whC
was chaste as ice and .purc as SNOW, il eyal
| woman were chnste, these things Nsto horrible
ouHages. They struck the first blow At the
tenderness felt for him, which might have
sipened into q 1cl affection, have no doubt
This WIS the first shocE-tte second was tht
discove1y thstf ANYTHING annoyed him, II
was impatient OF little cross las I think al
women arc at times, and know that my ten,
per is naturally sunny, or II business care.
which might trouble one, then, as 8 refuge
4 from any Of these, he would drink liquor, and
come home undeE It's influence.
! was bred in the New England idea Of tenn
pe1ance, and this WAS to me . VICE more odi-
passion. When Mr.. Mcfarland came hon,e
thus 1uatled hun with unspeakah1e 1oathing
and disgust + was living, when this first hzp-
pened, in BrookIyn- had not single int
mate friend in eithez city, Ihad no one to
pregnant with my first baby, which made me
Te1J nervous snd easily affected What SUI.
! fered th.t first year, God only knows; what
suffered many hundred times since, He only
knows, but ii is enough to tell you that in
yesr The possibility Of ever loving him was ut
This is Al awful thing to say, dearest +
drag ont for eight or ten years an e1istenc
with man whose whole mature oyardowet
with passion, who by turn adored and abusea
you, and who wanted to absorb both body Ell
soul, and to feel nothing but q feeling ef pity
I toont to do Mr.. Mcfarland justice, and
pity him more than pity myseli- Hja condi
tlon and hia suffering are wo1se, perhaps. h
had noble theories and not strength enough Il
uttered and still e1nbitter him He meant hi
life to be noble, and it is q failure I am glaI
and proud to say that for the Last years he ha
ceased to be jealous Of me OF Of my feeling
toward any man- should mover be nythinl
but chaste woman in my relations with men
but hia feeling has mrde me more than pru
dent, md I have been always most reserved
have never had my sentiments 80 WARM a
| friendship for other men, and my action
would bear the most Jealous scrutiny.
After his nfai1a-his businesa ahairs-h1
become hopelesa1y entangled (this was in tn
LX41A yEi44 VI O44 241kAAAaEGJs Ao A4o49ACN4 "
} returning West, whore be had formerly Hvei
We stayed there for time, and came bac
here again. The first year after QUE retur
home from the West, before he took the pos
ton in the Provost Ma1Hhars office, his habit
! wern aguin d1eadfu1lv bad, aud be drank in
war IN which none Of my friends nistruate
: 1t, He would goout evenings md spend thei
| in low bar-soo1ns, and come home At or
o'clock in the morning reekng with kquo
Three times he has come home beaten An
bruised. When he is drunk. al the good
him is turned to evil ho is simply and truly
1 moments, he has then been dreadful.
c Ny darling, hare spent hours aud nigh
. in seenes before which tragedy grows pale
!, have no words to speak Of them.
!, have tried and do Try to DO my duty
have tho most slpsess Rep Ply 1o5 uni Hes1t
4 knows, to be Us patient as can With all u
{. troubles, my life is not as unhappy as bis.
t heart and soul a1emy own he cannot ton
o them. pity him, but do not love HI
5 enough to Let him wound me to the quick
I don't know what to do-whst eou1se
d these wild words, incoherently, know, sin
n writing is not my natural method Of oxp1s
K sion-to get some Of this weight OF me, and
= have tried to write justly. know 7 must
Il lands mode Of 1evanging any CARELESS VIC
upon INC have half made mp my mind
3, day to tell the sinclai1s that I fear the {
croachnents Of his habits- / dread my
ture SO much, and I hayo my babies to ttn
of beside.
"a Yesterday he drew two weeks Of my aalary
"a the theat1e and paid tho weeks board bill, an
~ fear VIII spend good deal OF the mon
/. which We need 80 much, in liquor.
~ DON'T come to me after reading this I II
:? shall repent writing it. Yours al'10ys,
- ABBg
la PSI Just went down to breakfast and
+ him in bed. When Came up he was gone
shall be 90 anxious till night.