The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-07-15

lad barrel of ale deposited in his room
contrary, of course, to rule custom
He received a summons to appear be-
fore the President, who said. Sir, | am
informed that you have barrel of ale
in your room." ayes, Sir. "What ex-
PLANTATION can you makc?" ''Why, the
fact is, sir, my PHYSICIAN advised me
to try a little alo each day, as a tonic,
and not wishing to stop at the various
places where this beverage is retailed,
/ concluded to have a barrel taken to
my ROOM "Indeed! and have you de-
rived any benefit from it," "Ah! yes,
sir. When the barrel was first taken
TO my room, two weeks since, | could
scarcely lift it. Now l can carry it
with the greatest casc.'
An exchange says, bachelor is a
miserable, dlsagreeable, dissatisfied, hat
ed, despised, forgotten unreasonable, un-
lawful, unchristianlike, uncharitablc,
unprincipled, ought-to be ashamed good
for-nothing, uncombed, unwashed, un-
shaved, uncleaned, unpatchcd, uncarcd
for, off-cast of creation, who ought to go
and marry some artistic, musical, smil-
ing, blushing, delightful, charming,
sociablc, tasteful, sweet, exquisite re-
ligious, prayerful conscientious and vir-
tuous old maid and raise up a family
of sweet good looking, loving, laughing,
curly headed, dimpled check, bright
eyed, cute, froIicking, bliss(ul, cheerful,
joyful little children, and thus follow the
worthy example OF his father before
him.
TAKE your home papcr--it gives you
more news of immediate interest than
any other paper can possibly do; it
talks for you when other localities belle
you; it stands up for your rights; you
always have champion in your home
paper; and those who stand up for J ou
should certainly be well sustained
Your interest arc kindred and equal,
and you must rise or fall together.-
Therefore, it is to your interest to sup
port your homo paper, not grudGlngly,
but in liberal spirit; as pleasure, not
as disagreeable duty, but as an invest
ment that will amply pay the cxpcndi-
turc.- Chicago RcpHblicaR.
LAZlNESS.-A jncorribiblc loatcr be.
ing taken to task for his laziness, replied
IL tell you, gentlemen, you are mistaken
! have not lazy bone in my body bu
the fact is was born tired"
1t was the same fellow, that threw
himself ruefully down under q tree, onC
hot day, closed his eyes and languidly
murmured-"now breathe if you want
TOLL be hanged if will"
A beautiful girl stepped into a shop
to buy pair of mits, GLOW much are
they?" "Why," said the gallant and i'm
pudent clerk, lost in gazing upon her
sparkling eyes and ruby lips, you
shall have them for kiss" "Agrecd,"
said the young lady, pocketing the mits
and as l see you give credit here,
charge it on your books and collect it
in the best manner you cam, So say
irg she tripod out at the door.
After the dance Charlcs-"Toll me,
Laura, why that sadnessY Tell me
why that look of care? Why has fed
that look of gladncss that thy face was
wont to wear? :" Laura-"C Charles, It's
useless to disscmblc; well my face
may wear frown, for I've lost my
largest hair-pin, and my chisnon's com
ing down!
JOSH BILLINGS is as profound a phi
losopher as the author Of The Vanity
of Human wishes Josh lately entered
in his diary, that he reflected how Of
ten had wished to be rich, and how
seldom my wishes had been gratifed.-
Resolved in the future not to wish fol
anything until | had it three weeks,
and see how liked it"
-tMiss," said a gentleman proffering
his arm and umbrella to lady in a show
er, "permit me to be your beau" ''Thank
you tor your politonoss," was the reply,
land as l have plenty of fair-wcathcr
beaux l will call you my rain-b beau.
A Western paper strikes the names of
two subscribers from its list, because
they were recently hung. The publish
er says he was compelled to be severe,
because he did not know their present
address.
A well known Western express com
pany have on their bills of receipt tina
they will not hold themselves response
ble for injuries resulting from "acts c
God, or Indians, or other enemies Of tn
United States
According to PnnchinclIo. clergyme
now AXIS the following question durin
marriage ceremony: DO You TAX