The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-04-01

~ W Iatu &,tbutut.
The best throw at dice is-to
throwthem away.
- When Is love deiormsd When
1t Is al OIL Que side.
- What can yon not name without
breaking il? Silence.
- New motto for merchants
Ed Late to bed, and early to rise,
Never get tight and advertise.
Decidedly the fayorte day with
clearinghouse keepers is Hash We'd
nesday.
Careless people should remem
Der that easy writing often makes hard
reading.
Al editor ont in Missouri has
got the 18th anne: dinent awflilly mix
ed up. He calls 1t the ''fifteenth Ieda
meni.'
- Be honest, be temperate, be re-
liyiops. II YOU wish ts. be happy in this
world and ut peace in the world To
come.
a Cheyenne paper says that
birds are soaring around there; on
they are Jail birds. and soar nc the
limb end oil u rope.
A young lady "who wished she
was bird changed her mind after
dinner when she saw how dreadfully
little WAS lett OF the turkey.
- Naomi the daughter OF Enoch.
not marrnd until she was five hundred
and eight years old. Don't despair.
old gals-some hope yet.
- What is that which is made with
a train. travels " I'll train. Il OF no
use to II trait but II train c;tui o. traNei
without IL ? A noise.
A Western editor who found a
case OF homeopathic IN, dicine. has SET
up AS a doctor. and offers to physic %
bleed at the usual rates, ten eei.tsa ilne
first insertion.
A Cincinnati reporter woke up
a bride groom at 4 hotel in that city To
get the particulars of his wedding.
lie owes q neighboring apolilecsry five
cents for court plaster.
- "rhere is one Kind o'ship al
ways steer clear Of said an old bach
elor sea captain, s'and that's co''rtsnip.
cause on that ship there's always :wo
mates and no captain
- In reply TO young writer who
wished 10 know which magazine would
give h M the highest position quickest,
a con-, mporary advises powder IN AZ
anne, if YOU contribute . fiery ar
ticle.''
The worst sold man in America
lives at Lafayette, Indiana. He has
been winding up clock every n!ghr
for seventeen years. and last week. by
accident found out that it was MI eight
day cioc -
colored nreacher commenting
=, ~. o.oreu lie p 90 tbereiole wis.,.
~ ..rrants End hsymless as doves,
ss;,l ,i,,,t III. m;xfure shn,,ld be made
T., tb,. nronor,ion OF IA pound OF dove
~ ~ ~ r.r ~ s.r,.,,,t
,~.,,... .,;,o ,,.
= L"hneeiis,' eu',o' yves a"-
t'ce u n'''"~e M. - =.
h'l,hnef on our 81. A''s '','s VIZ "''
TUE liie s"pJeo' VI ',' ,.'. 80, !, 49,,
ti'at ne y g"'"S W a"n '"'" : NV"
s"os'l'p''one
- ideally. MY dear, sa'd poor
Mr.. jones 10 MS 'bttter nai'- you nave
sadly disappointed me. ionce coisitl-
cred you jewel OF woman; bttt
you've tuned on only bit OF inairl-
mOnial paste" ''faeh. my love-. was
the rrpiN- 'coisoic !outseli VIII tn
idea that paste Is very adhesive. and
will stick To you as long as ytni live.
Josh Billings gets %. some good
things occasionally lie iia> an eye to
business. Hear him
An, busrness firm that hasn't goI
sand enough in their craw to cxpend
few dollars ii making his business
known 10 three or four thousand peo-
pie, ought to pack and 20 p-ddiil 3
peanuts.
- Bacheloric Proverbs-A rich
man is never ugly ia the eyes n girl
A beautiful Woman smiling bespeaks
a ,,ursp weeniuv.
ts,,rv NM, ,vould ratiar he hau,J.
sone ti,an good.
a hours. 1,Il M ,la1ght.rs il a collar
OF sour beer.
A man nf straws is worth woman
of cold,
Alas. tatherl another daughter is
bor,, unto YOU. isa Spanish eSclania-
tiDu Of col,,luirnce.
A rich "a lie is a source of quarrel.
II is nm IN house when the hen Is tn.
talking bird
He n no niarries i'll is ysry long in |
becoming widowed.
A itch " i,low weeps with one eve |
and lau,rl,s win IN. uth,r.
) Bachelor RECENTLY advertised |
far . vi;e. aud uuvrat,frIiy publ;shpd |
sou,S - ''ie ms. ,,'