The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-02-24

L.
Write we know i written right
When see 10 written write
But when see it written wright,
We know It's not then written right;
For write. TO have ii written right,
Nor yet should il be written rite,
But wrte-f0r so tits written right.
POLITE GENTLEMAN" Good morning
sir. How do you find yourself, to-day?"
Deaf Gentleman" Very stormy and
disagreeable." Polite Gentleman Slightly
astOnished but determined to recover lost
ground" Indeed How is your good
wife, sir?" Deaf Gentleman-"V Very
clustering indeed
A BRIDE who had been entrapped into
marrying worthless fellow, and had been
taken to his cabin, berated him for lying
to her on two different occasions about his
three-stOry house. But, YOU see, my
dear, this house is one story, isn't it ~ he
asked. Eyes, and only ONE "Well,
then the two stories l oldyou make three,
don't they?"
A YOUNG girl in Paris recently
"operated on prominent member of the
French bar, skillfully extracting his watch
and chain, for which she was arrested,
and, on learning who her victim was, she
shrewdly retained him to conduct her
defence for the theft. 1t is held by learned
refuse the brief.
ADOwN EAST paper says that persuasive
and humbugging agents are about in that
region selling lightning rods. Ore old
lady told an agent she had no fear of
lightning, but she had always been afraid
of thunder. "Just so" he replied, 1--WE
can meet your case exactly. The square
rods are lightning rods, and the round
ones thunder rods OF course she is now
protected"
An eccentric man in Nashville, Tenn,
after leaving all his property to outsiders,
winds up his will in this way Before
any of these requests shall be performed
there must first be erected over my wife
anC. m TSef a nice monument. / have not
given anything to my wife's relations be-
cause they did not visit my wife during her
sickness, nor after she was dead, and my
wife's sister desired me to send a close
carriage for her while her sister, my wife
was dying"
BOUGHT HIMsELF.-An amusing affair
happened lately between coal-dealer and
purchaser. The latter was very anxious
to see that the former did not cheat him
SO he (the purchaser) inspected the weigh
ing of the coal himself, and felt perfectly
satisfied that he got the full allowance
coal-dealer to shave" However, while
the coal was weighing, the driver of the
team could not help laughing, aware al
the time that the purchaser was particu-
lar about his full weight of coal The
purchaser, noticing the laughing of the
driver, asked him, when he received the
coal, what it was all about so the driver
told him. Why" said he, when yOuI
coal was weighing your were standing OF
the scales, and were weighed with it." 81:
it possible? Why, 1 weigh nearly two
hundred pounds - Well, sir" said tn,
driver, you are sold" "Yes, ;" was tn,
reply, and have bought myself, too."-
Springfield RepuHiean.
A GENTLEMAN in Alabama, in exertins
himself one day felt a sudden pain, an(
fearing his internal machinery had beef
thrown out of gear, sent for a negro OF
his plantation, who made some preten
sOns to medical skill, to prescribe fo
him. The negro having investigated tn
case, prepared and administered dose t,
his patient, with the utmost confidence O
speedy cure. No relief being experience
ed, however, the gentleman sent for
physician, who, on arriving, inquired O
the negro what medicine he had given hi
master. Bob promptly responded, "Rosi
and alum, sir" "What did you give then
fOr," continued the doctor, why" re
piled Bob, I" the alum to draw the part
togedder, and de rosin to solder fem.
The patient eventually recovered.
TAKEN AT HER WORD.-The late Rev
DIR. Wightman was a simple minded Scot
fish divine of the old school. When
young man he paid his addresses to
young lady in the parish, and his suit wa
accepted on the condition that it met tn
approval of the lady's mother. Accord
lngly the doctor waited upon the matron
and, stating his case, the good woman, de
lighted at the proposal, passed the usua
Scottish compliment, Deed, Doctor. yO1
are far owre guild for our Janet. I'm sur
she's no guild emo for ye" "Weel, weel.
was the rejoinder, =" We ken best so WEI
say nae mair about it." No more wa
saiG, and the social intercourse of the par
ties continued on the same footing as be
fore. About forty years after DR.. Wight
man died bachelor and the lady an oil
maid.
The London Atheneuns tells the follow
ing story: Mr.. Brown let us call hin
the proprietor of, shall we say, the Kitcbe
Sumner, was dissatisfied with his novelist
Mr.. Jones, and told him So Jones wa
then halfway through romance whic
appeared in weekly dribblets, but Brow
gave him notice to quit at once and adde
that he had engaged Mr.. Robinson to q
on with and complete the story. Jone
accepted the warning, but remarked tha
as he had sufficient manuscript copy {
supply the chapters for the next number
they had better be set up after which NJ
Robinson might take up the thread of tn
story and get to the end of it. Brow
consented, and went down to his 'subul
ban retreat whittier was forwarded {
him the next number of the Sumner. wit
Jones chapters, from which Robinson wa
to continue the narrative. III Brown DO:
sessed true critical faculty, he must hav
admired the inventive power of his ow,
hired writer, and have doubted wbetbe
Robinson would be equal to the presen
emergency. In short, Jones, having CO
lected every living parsonage and anims
he had named in the novel, put them a
on board of ship bound for Americs
and sent the whole of them-ship, freigh
and passengers-down to the very bottOr
of the Atlantic, never to be brought u
again. The words To be continued a
the close of the chapter, formed challeng
to the ingenuity of Robinson, which h
was too i'll qualified TO accept, and accord
ingly the story remains somewhat unfin
ished, and as forgotten as the author VIII
stopped and the writer who could not sc
it going again.