National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1870-12-09
Wit and Wisdom.

discourage young men whom they do not
care to cultivate.
Better to be despised for too anxious
apprehensions, than to be ruined by too
confident a security.
The reason whv farmers are 80 long
lived is, that every day they renew the
hay-day of their youth.
The sign in church vestibules "voung
ladies will please not eat chestnuts during
service" is peculiar to Illinois.
1t is good discretion not to make too
much of MAJ at f-st ; because one
cannot hold ont that proportion.
A Manchester Vermont man has been
blind ever since he undertook to look
into his neighbor's bedroom window
1t is safer to affront some people than
| to oblige them for the better man de-
serves, the worse they will speak OF him.
In Austria, asbatos bottled in wax il
used as a wick for kerosene lamps, and
being, rs its name implies, incombusti-
ble thus prepared, it burns nearly a
wear.
! An eminent housebreaker, having COM
pleted the term Of his imprisonment, ap-
piled to the magistrates to have his skel-
eton KEYS and other professional tools
given mp to him.
/ Captain Gladstone to British mari
ner Mt the masthead" How does the
sea look ahead there 2" British mari
ner-" Very eavy and swolln Cap'n
a nasty Black Sen "
Evangaline-" Ganpa. dear. doee tell
- L.
Grandpa (delightedl-" And whv not
my darling ?" Evangeline-" because
want to kill it mvsef."
Miss Sessions. of Ohio, hearing n noise
at her bedroom window, rose, and dis
covered ferocious burglar. With A rare
presence Of mind she clapped her hands
and ejaculated " scat" and the rufian
! fed.
Husband. I wish Won would buv m.
some feathers" Indeed, dear wife.
Won look better without them" Oh, no:
sir: you always coll me vour little bird.
and how does a bird look without feath-
ers ?"
A correspondent OF n Wabash. nnd.\
paper complimenting singer, concluded
thus "And l look forward to the tins
when Charleston shall he as celehrated
: for its learning and music Us Jericho was
for its There's"
A Western magistrate has been indicted
for marrying n matron of forty to a vouth
Of fifteen, whom she had captured, and
who states TINT he was afraid to say "no"
when asked the momentous question by
the magistrate.
T. ta1l ~
LAWYER there who charged n client $40
for collecting 80 but said he would not
press him to pay the other dollar for A
few DAYS, If it would he more convenient
for him to let it stand.
Every man ought to endeavor at emil
nence. not nv pulling others down, INIT
by raising himself and enjoy the pleas
ure Of his own superiority, whether i'm
aginary or real, without interr,pting
others in the same felicity.
The Mahommedan law OF divorce il
marvel Of simplicity. The husband re-
peats to the wife three times. "You are
divorced" and the thing is done. But
the wife is not allowed TO use this easy
formula against the husband.
, All men in their hearts covet esteem.
! their fondness OF being esteemed be-
cause men would pass for virtuons that
they may draw some other advantage
from it besides virtue itself
A rich Englishmnn on dying left lega-
cies to MI his servants, except the stew
ard, but he was remembered in his will.
as follows :--"I leave nothing to my
steward bern,,se he has been in my ser
vice twenty wears" or course the fell
low had feathercd his nest.
: A gentleman playing cards mt Baden
Baden. was much ANNOYED nv nm inquisi-
tive stranger, who stood beside him mud
pried into his hand At last he took
pinch Of snuff and administered IL 10 his
Z tormentor. Immediately saving / beg
: your pardon, but you were so near me,
s sir, that ] mistook yo,p nose for my
0 own"
A Sunday school teacher who had he.
d, come almost discouraged over the list
, lcssness OF her clnsa, nj last felt rewarded
= nv nm interested look nv little girl
u The reward wns lost when the little crca-
tnrc touched bracelet on her arm and
\ asked. "Tcncher. arc them threaded on
= 'lnstic ?"
? In Rhode Island they never offer
. bribcs, bnt this s the wnv they do IL
An honest man SAYS 70 nm independent
a voter, "Ill bet you $40 Won don't vote
:. for -" Voter-"I1l bet you $40 I
4 will" Voter goes md votes for -.
. wss tho bet. md gets his money. N
/, coursc. no reasonable man would cal
d this bribs ".
T. \ gentleman was undressing n schoo
ii concert in the Highlands. md wns trvinf
10 enforce peculiar doctrine. Taking
ont his witch and holding il mp he snid
"Now, hero is nv watch suppose Il
~ does not keep good time gocs too fnst
y, and then too slow what shall | do with
" " it?" "Scll IT," shouted out naxen
a a haired younestd~.
"a Some scnpcpracee in Dubuque. one
" evening, hung dead rat over The limb
|. Of tree in such manner that they
70 could rnisc or lower II nj will. When
20 20 people came along IL vns lowered in.thei'
II fnccs. Ono chan left two fair attendants
y, and bounded AWAY with shrick, leaving
NJ one Young lady to scream murder. md
4 the other 10 faint.
10 The wifo ~ n manufacturer in nm in
10 land town. whose daughter was about \,
il be married, scnt notes to her friends rc
N qucstng that II they meant 10 max
" presents Of silverwarc, they would scnt
II tho money instead, M she WINS about b
~ visit New York. and would prefer 10 bu,
them herself. "for IL will he so nice d
b. have the things match you know"
n y..t n.tt..... ....... 80. IL. .-...l.I.a. -