The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1870-10-05
HuMoRousa

I 5000 HUMOROUS
| Much Of what passes for affection;
Is affcetatiot, ~ ]. III
In playing cards, a good deal de-
Ipends ON good deal,
/ A cookdeclares, it is always a stir
ring time when she makes Rasty pud
ding.
If you want to see castle in The
hair, look at almost any, lady who has
MAIDS her toilet. -S9
Greeley is sore ever since Saratoga:
Touch him anywhere and he squeals.
| ffdH8sA Ittf5tl y
The greatest bard ia Europe now i.
bombard; Unlike ps,testy. pso,dtessty. it speaks
Because lady looks waspisi, IL does
not follow that she viii sting ''el
i An Iowa snake charmer. WAS gath.
cred to his fathers. the. other day.. by
1.-THE bite OF one Of his pupils.
The King Of Prussia has opened 4
French boarding house ami furnish:
ed Napoleon with apartments.dl -
Lanesboro, MIMI, has some one
mean enough to steal shee ff.1m Il
death bed; wIiieiitbe family Ba.Fgohe'
to the funeral, ,i1.a3 4rvg 70
Ifas many people gave money as
advice, The poverty of the world would
le extinguishedlin weekg 1he
!, se0z.i.ger. ,)eI2 no Boi1isssl s'2s1
Edith OiGorman, is sgain t,,lectuse
| in public, But can't she .conieut Her
| self with Iecturirig her husband j -,
Ifd .s.B.E.yr ali9ss,ieJ ohf hest,tg str i5iftl
Every mah has d gait; bat IL tiikeS
farmers, musicians and saloda keep
ers to have bars: f.-s.f.z-.i alfo.5
Modesty h 4 x5Maff Il ike fhe
color ON her eheek-decidedly beconi-
ing If not put on, aoite nsdi (
Mr.. Thurston, Of Utah, his Beeii
isiot for inquisitiyenes. He aske,l a
neighbor what he meant BY speaking
| of him as a thief. 8i9i0 q slLsif.lsf
| Somebody inquiries if hard tack iB
Igood to put down carpets with. Opin-.
ions arc not always reliable let HIM
Il L. "a -.ra.r III
The French have women sur r5eons,
and they are said to take a leg off III
such fascinating MANNER that amp.fs
tationis favor: asll Is alft.ft
A Cincinnati amendment, ehslleng-
ed by policeman, ran and diyed intp
the canal the other night. He way
fished out, muddy but innocent'
| Brigham Young regrets the million,
and half of women that arc stwasteslY
as he terms it, in this country, by be-
ing unmarried. 1t is sad. ~,
The Chicago Repulican says John
| A. Logan has no equal-on the stump;
Then. he, ought to stay on it. Ho'
certainly has no inferior off OF il.
rEHenl if some men could take their
gold and silver with them 10 where
they go after death, it wouhf do tllenf
no good-it would MELT .uiBsag
Nature may be regarded ns. tho head
and front of all Offenders in the why
Eof dissipation. She is not only turn.
ling mig ut into day. bat day into the
might. A r, 4..e a.a4a
A census taker in the west founf
a girl whose christened name is 'sM.
the letter aioue-ands another witif
the cuphonious title of La,nI Aurora
| Borealis.
In Chicago. Mary ,Hugg asks for
divorce from Oliver Hugg. This IL
the first instance on record of womaIf
going hack on hug, especially on am
all-oyer Hugg. ,.s IL, ss9e
A Journal asks what is the differ
ence between a sailer and ii fisllioiible'
lyoung lady? anil replies One faces
powder and the other powders the
face .
| .!,-tl (, hlse ctti..s9i4 lstet 70 p
Father siidn,t sod say tho fGorId
was roihd g Yes, ,..nly .ssa.a Well
how can it come. to ,ah elitl, if it is
round? "WHIiam,s Z wish YOU would
mot talk with Your mhuth so full of
foodYf "' = a. !,
Upon the bjHill,ge oyer The PIatte,'
leadfng 6tit of Deivei, Colorado, there
was 4 year ago this inscription; No
vehicle drawn by more than ono an-
iimal is allowed TO cross this bridge in
Opposite Directions at the same pcrio'f
OF fimS.. shie3 f.ili4sio1
A Scotchkiam wiib' had put up ,iat,
Jan inn WAS asked iii the morning how
he had slept. .s.Ah.. rRon," replied
Donald, mae vioora Well either, but
was muckie better than tho bugs,
for del one o. then' closed, AN ed
the hale night. .,,, .,,A.i.l 81
T. "Afee' yoT not ashamed to beg
said the philosopher Montag,ie 10 a.
strong, healthy begger,. wh6 was sos
licitfHg a3hds,- .ty6d are certainly able