Oregon Republican. [volume] (Dallas, Or.) 1870-1872, 1870-09-24
Brcvities.

A Night.Charge-A squalling baby.
aForeign Intelligence" Count Bis
marck's intellect.
Stepping stones to Advancemet in
Life-pavements.
Why are Chickens liberal Because
they give peck when they take grain.
When the English army beats re-
treat, it . only because il must beat some
thing.
Editors Box DO they? Then we
shall light shy" OF EN- 7!
A Buffers Poetical Advice TO his
Son.-"Learn to labor and to ,edH"
Why not send letter by telegraph
There arc lots of telegraph posts.
We have heard of the 'base" of the
cliff. Where do you tind your "treble. :"
What sort of leggings would you ex-
plore the Nile with Y-Alli CATERS.
When is a cock. horse like lobster?
When he's (s)potted.
The Round of Domestic Life.--A
hoop-skirt.
Literary-"Watts on toe Mind ?"-
Too often, nothing.
A man who has q scolding wife, be-
ing asked what he did for living re-
piled that he kept hot house"
Why should Arabs not be subject to
insanity p Because they are a no-mad
o.mad) race.
Doubtless.-Every candidate for a
clerk-ship in the Custom House ought
TO undergo searching examination -
A bachelor friend says that he dis
likes young married couples, because
they arc apt to give themselves heirs.
If you want to keep dead man. pu;
him in whisky. If you want to kill a
living man, put whisky into him.
How TO E.joy Nice -bracing
Day at the Seaside Get on Board a
Pleasure Boat, and let her Hug the
Shore
A Great Fact Crops Up-Ama.eur
gardeners are the most generous of men
: 1T is pleasure with them. to .fork
over their grounds.
If tailor agrees to put braid on a
coat, does he always consider the agree
meut binding?
Cornet Copa wants to know if the
wing Of house" has anything to d.
with flying column"
"Mary, my love. this apple dump
ling is not half done. "-"W Well, finish it
then, my dear"
The Cleveland Herald thinks the
marriage service should be changed to
rcad-"Who dares take this woman p
And the groom shall answer, "I dare I"
That Germany is making war against
tho Emperor. aud not against the peo>
pie of France. The Prince Royal trust
that the manufacturing.
The candle which accidentally fell
into pail of water was 'much put out
by the occurrence, and has been ever
since fizzicaliy untitled for work.
Spain, heretofore the abode Of super
atition and entirely under papal control,
receives the decree of infallibility with
jeers and laughter. The yoke is bro.
ken,
The retiring Greacian Bend is suc>
ceeded by the Boston Dip, simply a
limp with the North foot. A woman
with the "Dip" acts as If she was
ioundered. 81 81 E af
Imagine the feeling of the poet, who
wrote of his departed love.-"We will
hallow her grave with our tears, when
the printer act il up, I've will harrow
her grave with our steers I,
The following announcement recently
appeared In paper:
Edward Eden, painter, is requested
TO communicate with his brother, when
he will hear something to his advantage
his wife is dead" f
II is said that man who won I take
paper because he can't borrow one,
has invented machine with which he
can cook his dinner by the smoke of his
neighbors chimney. go 80
Mrs. Julia Monroe and Mrs. Martha
Mann ran one mile and quarter for q
purse Of $50, at Rock River, near
Cleveland, on che 25th Of July Mrs.
Mann gave up at about half way. but
Mrs, Monroe kept on and accomplished
the distance in 1880, looking much "a.
tigued. =