Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-03-07
Terence MIGRANT on Washingt0n's
birthday and Congressional In
vestigatfOns.

BfrtnOHY anu hts'
vestigatfOns.
9as WASHINGTON. February %, 1870.
.MrsHTER PUMMERY: Yesterday the an
niversary of the birth of Mishter G.
Washington, gintleman who, in many
respects, resembled me cousin Ulisses,
only he never smoked or told lie, and a
moighty cowld day it was. II the day OF
his borning was as cowld as yesterday,
divil the bit do blame him for cutting
down cherry trees, or telling the truth, or
committing any other blunder which
could be considered eccentric in these
days. Me cousin says if Gineral Wash
ington's spirit is cognizant of the way
some of our party are going to the devil
wild their newfangled notions of retrench-
ment and reform, in reducing expenses
in one department and doubling them in
another, he can't rest aisy where he is at
present located. If Washington had had
such men as Dawes and Butler to dale
wild, he never could have established a
reputation for honesty, any more than
me cousin has. sTs laiHsJ nr
Some of these Numbers of Congress
have got in a habit of Investigating
things altogether too close, and there has
got to be shtop put till it, or we are all
gone till the divil Here they have been
inauiring into the sale of cadetships by
some of the Numbers. fhich is going to
do incalculable damage if it isn't stop
ped Me cousin didn't trealize the danger
of such proceeding and rather en-
couraged it until yesterday, whin Gineral
Butler came to see him. Says Butler:
"Grant, what is your idea of these in
vestigations? What should be done with
mimber who is proved to have sold a
cadetship for money!
"Turn him out in disgrace, says me
cousin. "a man who viii do such a
thing as that will steal Go for him.
Ben,' says he, taking drink of illicit
Ohio fshky, presented till him by De-
lano.
"Do you know" says Butler, what
effect the conviction and expulsion OF
one of those men will have on you and
meP"
"The divil, no, says me cousin.
"Then / will tell you" says Butler.
'If Whittemore, or any other man, is
turned out of Congress for having sold
an appointment, you are liable to i'm
peachment for every case in which you
have appointed men to Office who have
presented you anything, from house
and lot to a bull-pup. If this thing goes
on, you had better make arrangement to
buy out some small tannery, in the coun-
try, for your days as Chief Magistrate
are numbered" "
"Sate me, Ben" said me cousin, "and
take any Office you want.
y So Mshter Butler went TO some of the
mimbers, and had the matter STAYED off,
and we hope it may be forgotten. 1t has
frightened me cousin SO bad that he i'm
agines he feels something crawling up
his trousers leg all the time. If it was
me, now, people would shwear it was Jim
jams. Me cousin says this Congress is
the mosht medlesome one he iver saw.
Dint came ia to-day and towld me cousin
that ovid Dawes was talking about pass
ing bill to prevint army officers being
kept on duty at the executive mansion
If this passes it will be the hardest blow
intirely on me cousin, for he depends on
Dint for everything, except that | help
him, in the way of getting up his mes
sages, and the like And Dint is scared,
for his great talent lies in the card bas-
ket, and moighty lucrative employment
it is, too, some people giving as high as
hundred dollars to be introduced to
me cousin. | would do it for half the
money myself, and lay up money at that,
if didn't have to divide wild me cousin.