The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1870-05-06
-atFaNAas.

GEEhNE IS. -
- The coward says he cautious, the
miser that he is sparing.
|. - Few of US know when happiness
is really within our reach.
- 1t is not well for o man toAray
cream, and live skim milk.
= In what month do ladies talk least y
February, the shortest one. ~-z~--=-
= When are gloves unsalabIe?
When they are kept on hand.
= What State is high in the middle
and round at both ends? Ohio. go Z
= A gentleman can marry any lady
of his acquaintanee-if he pleases.
1t is exceedingly bad husbandry to
harrow up the feelings of your wife.
The course of true love is q race
course where there is often false start.
= Three thousand Menonites, a Ger
man sect, propose settling in Tennessee.
Why is a letter like a flock of
sheep? Because it is penned and fold
ed. tsH.z- 1-a.
George Francis Train owns up to
being the smartest man in the United
States. vI
- Modesty in women is like color on
her cheek-decidedly becoming, If not
put on.
=. Why are mems arms like the gps-
pei? Because they make glad the
tOaist places.
- The headquarters of the Freed
mems Bureau in Kentucky have been
established at Covington.
- The name of the young lady to be
appointed to West Point from Wyo-
ming, must be Gertrude.
- Clint Thomas, "the last of Wash
ington's field hands," died at st. Louis
on the l4th inst. aged los years.
A correspondent suggests that
Alaska be turned into sort of Van
Dieman's Land for political rogues.
An exchange wants the Govern
ment to issue stamps for kerosene, in
scribed, prepare TO meet thy God"
= Some there be who never see be-
yond their nose, and they are always
poking that into other peoples business.
Have you sister? Then love and
cherish her. If you have not a sister
of your own, then love somebody else's
| sister.
An indianapolis school boy has
been punished by being compelled &c
write the word 'cow" five hundred
| times.
john Chinaman writes to his coun-
trymen in San Francisco: me Likely
Texasy; plenty worky, plenty payy,
plenty eaty."
A company of Cherokees intend
| to fence in cattle corral of about 5000
| acres in extent, across the line from
ChetOpa, to Kansas.
"A wit once asked q peasant what
part he performed in the great drama
| of life. II mind my own business"
was the caustic reply.
The next session of the General
| Conference of the Methodist Episcopal
| Church South is appointed to begin in
Memphis on May 1st.
| One of the colored pages of the
| South Carolina Legislature saved all
his earnings that he might acquire an
education at Howard University, Wash
ington.
= A letter recently PASSED through
the Derby Line (Vt.) Office, bearing the
following superscription: ''This is for
| the man who has the ThouroW bread
Dearrum cattle l am not seartain of the
rite enitionls of his name."
- "Maek" writes from Washington to
the Cincinnati Enquirer: Alexander
II. Stevens once told me that he consid-
cred JefFerson's first Inaugural and Lin
coins first Inaugural the two finest
pieces of compositions of the kind ia
the country" ..
- The Northern Pacific Railroad
Company are preparing to have their
iron rails manufactured at Dunluth,
him., where large rolling-mills will be
built by Eastern capitalists. The ore
will be obtained in the iron regions of
Lake Superior.
- Worcester, Mass, has a subterra-
mean pond. thought to be about eight
acres in extent. 1t is found by probing
that pole can be thrust down to the
depth of thirty feet I'm many places. A
piece of land several rods square sunk
on Wednesday night, near SOuthbridge
street, which was being filled up for
house lots.