The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1870-11-23

NUMBER 2e.
r" modes faith, let SracGess .ealots E9hf;
His can't be wrong aehose life is in hheri4A
The nation which produces most marriage
must be fascination.
An cnragcd man tears his hair; but an ell
ragged woman tears her husband.
When is Il tombstone like a tallow din,
when II is set up for a late husband
If man gets up when the day breaks, car
he be said to have full day before him.
-sOs-
why have you the right to pick photo.
grapsers pocket Because he has pictnreS.
The bed of the ocean is covered with ,
slGet OF water, and biuows take the place OF
pillows. f~o VI
lhe latest song ont is Father Will Settle
the Bill" 1t is very popular with youne
ladies'
| revenue collector in Missouri RECENTLY
1 'r'ed 10 collect fifty cents a head in q hall.
rooni-the tax on hops.
Honest industry has brought that man to
the scaffold," said a wag, as he saw a car
penter upon staging.
A Dntchman describes New Workers. as
perry hne peoples" who ego about der
slp>-4i q ~ - =
->Os
When mother in Scotland goes to regiyt or
her child's birth, according to the law. the
officer pompOnsly SKIS hcr:-Were YOU pres
ent at the birth!
An, parson, l wish could take my gold
WIN me-" said rich old Deacon Swipes. at
might melt if You did," quietly replied the
parsOn.
The spaniards have a saying: "At thirteen
marry your daughter to her superior; at
twenty to her equal: at thirty to anybody
that will have her.
melting sermon being preached in coun-
try church, all wept except one man: who
being asked why he did not weep with the
rest on said he, II belong to another
church,"
Cider is so plenty in New Hampshire that |
they pay man fifty cents barrel to drink it, |
one TO two dollars day at the business.
wisconsin must have some tall people if |
tiiis statement of a local paper may be be- |
iieved, that they are going to build a college |
winch Will accommodate 500 pupils three |
stories high.
A person in prison was asked by a fl lend
WI what 1t was for. "Telling lies,, lie replied. !
telling lies how's that" demanded the |
other. why, telling people would nav
EN- and not keeping my word.
, Your doll looks very poorly, Jemima,1
second Matron-"les, dear, thinks it frets a
great deal about Alfred. He knocked ono of
his eyes ont last week, and it lost q great deal
Df sawdnst, and hasn't been the same do,l
since.'
A curious typographical error recentlyup-
leared IN morning paper, in giving an sc-i
5oam. iDaaa, Oh an inquest was stated that "the
the jury return an excellent death,
A Scotch paper tells us a pensive urchin,
who said to his MISUNDERSTANDING, what
comes o n the auld moonsi" Deed lnddie,
t! I'm not very sure. was tho tardy reply;
they'll nabe clip them doom maxi stars q
hem."
An lrishman in distress asked man for
eiief. He was repnlsed with ''go to h-l.n
'at looked at him in such q way as to FIX his
Intention, and then replied: "God bless yoar
'onOr for your civility for you're the first
'enfir'nen that's invited me to your fathers
louse since kim to America"
A lnderous incident is related in connection
With the earthquake. A fat pupil in one Of
he schools of Beverly, Mass, was in the act
Il sitting down, when the shock Of earth
uake shook the building, which the teacher
ttrlbuted to the abrupt manner in which the /
nd took his scat, for which offence he was re- j
"ired to stand for three quarters of an hour. | q
. A family in Florida lost their little boy 9
nd they advertised for him in tho daily papor.
hat very afternoon an alligator crawled oat | j
the swamp and died on the front doorstep &
n his stomach was found y handful of red @
air, some bone-buttOns, glass ally, brass O
arrelled pistol, a Sunday school book. and a n
air Of check pants. The advertisements did l Z
"Come here, my lad" said an attorney to a :,
'ked what case was to be tried next. The Z,
'wyer answered, "A case between the people \
nd the devil; which do you think will be I!
ost likely to gain the actiSn?" The boy re- q
lied, II gness it will be pretty hard squeeze p
tho people have the most money, but The u
Evil has the most lswyers.' IT,
Two year old "Jennie. who lives in North :,
npton, is very dainty little lady, and very p
nch afraid Of soiling her hands. Ono oven y
y while walking with her papa, the moon
u she would like it to play with. After ii
ayely leiheratn1 .i- 1.-..ss.ss -a.p svpitca, =,
moonyi" ''''- '' e 90 siA my "anoS "a'H J;
AT station on the overland route the q n
'Sper gct rather short Of provisions fact, :. !.
VI nothing left bat . bottle Of mustard .r,.3 q
me bacon. As the stage stoppcd there ~.
y to change horses, the passengers seated =
9 smse1ves at tho table, and The host said:
mail heiP you to piece Of bac0nf, s.No.
ank yOn, l never cat bacon" said the trav, u
u: well, then" said the station keener y, VI
clip yourself to mustardr 80. : ~ o. o.
"A
NenfieIncn of the jury" saa Western
aSer, dont mean to insinnate that this
~ IS covefeons person, but will bet fiy. "a
one that II you should bait steel tran with -
'cw three-cent piece, and place it within =
Ahches ot ms mouth, you would catca souI VI
"ouldt for moment insinuate that he pa
uld steal, but may it please the CON 80 Chi
'tiemen OF the jury, wouldn't trust MIN n it,
III or M.n IeN-not MILL stones, and the
:, .em., ,'.. 80. = Ha's4 s@: .sa sas
) woman went to o circus in Tcrre Hante ~.
:. accompanied by eleven children, and mo
en- Deighbor asked her where the old man
), she said he was at home taking care Of A
chiidren. Another neiGhbor called at the Ind
ss se, anu seeing the Old man trying to gol
ise nine Young ones, asked where the ola -.
was. He aid he had LAT hor - a. - -,