The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1870-03-17
Cheap way of raising oalves-holler
''lizzard" in church.

The calico balls are again being re-
snscitated in some of the Northern
cities.
How many apples did our first parents
eat in the garden of Eden? Eve 8, and
Adam g.
It has transpired that ex.Queen Isa-
bella has spent over IS, 600, ,0OU of her
capital within the past eighteen months.
Why is it easy to break into an old
mans house? Give it up? Because his
gait is feeble and his locks are few.
"How could God make a woman out
Of rib, papa?" don't know, my child; i;
it was miracle" "All questions you
can't answer you call miracles, don't YOU.
papa?"
Paterfamilias (after hard days work.
"Well, have earned the bread we shall
eat to night" Matcrfamilias Cooking
across the supper-table)--"And I've
urned the ten"
"Tom, said a girl TO her sweetheart,
'you have been paying your distresses
to me long enough. 1t is time you make
known your contentious, 80 rs not to
keep mo i'll expense any longer"
At Lynn they are making q new style
OF waterproof boots, out of ordinary
lasting or serge, impregnated with n
preparation of parafine. rendering it im-
| pervious to water.
Miss Betty Thomas died at Portland,
Maine, lust week, aged ninety-six, leav-
ing disconsolate her brother Elius, aged
ninety eight, and her sister Happy, aged
100 years in April next.
We are constantly hearing new names
for the villainous compound at present
sold for whiskey. The last comes from
luka, Mississippi, and hits the nail on
the head. "Ripgizzard" is the word.
The depths of the soul are labyrinth,
and dark without the torch of religion.
Left to ourselves, we are like subterra-
mean waters-we reflect only the gloomy
vault of human destiny.
eff good people," said Archbishop
Usher, would but make goodness agree
able, and smile instead of frowning on
their virtues. how many would they win
to the good cause"
An Indiana lawyer, finding his princi-
pal witness too drunk to testify when he
was wanted, addressed the Court in a
four hours speech, in which he touched
upon everything, including the fifteenth
amendment, and finally his man cume to
time.
At an opera at indianapolis man
didn't know whether to laugh or cry, SO
he took the chances on a laugh. 1t
proved to be solemn scene, 80 he was
arrested and fined twenty dollars. You
couldn't give him complimentary ticket
to an opera now.
IMMoRTALITY.-If man had it not,
his soul would miss not merely the
future, but the past; for these two are
correlative. Without God and ourselves
the past would be nowhere. Nothing
ness would be behind and before us, and
memory as vain as hope.
AT u recent trial of will case in Troy,
q woman testified that she and the testa-
tor stood before a looking glass, Joined
hands, and agreed to live together as
man and wife. She received by the will
Sl2, 600 in five-twenties, and house and
the furniture therein.
telegraph operator, who had sent a
message to NorWalk family to meet an
expected visitor, at the depot, with the
'horse," blunderingly substituted the
word "hearse," and on the arrival of the
train, the visitor found that desired We
| A'ASAC " tiohotOhH him " LIE
destination.
If you want fine appetite and good
digestion use DR.. TUFTS Golden Eagle
Bitters.
"Oh! what IN excellent Tonic" is the
language of the invalid who uses Solo.
MONS BrrTERs. N21
Dyspeptics should use DR.. TUFTS
Golden Eagle Bitters.
''Just the thing!" Such is the excla.
nation of tho Dyspeptics who use Solo.
Mons BIrTERs. MI
DR.. TUFTS Golden Eagle Bitters is the
best tonic in the United States.
IL am strong and healthy, yet to pre-.
serve my good condition" I use SOLO
MONS BrrTERs. N21
A healthy and exhilirating beverage is
DR.. TUFTS Golden Eagle Bitters.
The weak and emaciated mother says
'My health and strength is restored hG
the use of" SoLoMoNs' BIrrRpe, MI
Delicate females take the Golden Eagle
Bitters.
RPEhKEA pArOn