The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1870-12-24
Miscellaneous.

Jane, give the baby some laudanum and pu
< is TO sleep, and then bring me my parasol an
[going to a meeting for the education of mother
&ln he care of young children" t4
A wise physician once said 81 observe tina
.HEsry one wishes to 20 to heaven; but L observe
'<lso, that most people are willing to take grea
|tez1 of disagreeable medicine first
ScEzy. IN UrAH.-First Mormon-"I wonde
@ry1o "a tt blonde isf A nice figure! - SeconC
td1>mo11 1-'' Why, don't you know? It's you
<Ff+" Second Mormon-ti So it is. though
! ID Sen her BEFORE
A Young lady from the rural districts went t.
1H MSInes to see an elephant. In the street
~ theconductor said to her, IS Miss, your fare
= Hell, If am" she replied, 81 don't want any
u1e Of your impertinence. -
girl in Calhoun County, Wis, attempted tc
icok into the muzzle of her brothers. shotgun
and at the same time pull her dress away from
tie trigger The coroner's jury returned a YER
ditt of 50 death from internal carelessness.''
Al Gypsy woman promised to show two young
iln1ies their husbands faces in a pail of water
They looked end exclaimed, 81 Why, we only see
IN own faces!'' WeIl,'' said the Gypsy,
fhose faces will be your husbands when you
married., won't they?'
4 All r. said old Mrs. Doosenbury, s' farming is
great thing I've often felt the need of it.
A rhy, Would you believe it, am now 60 years
10, and only know the name of three months in
fne year, and them's spring, fall and autumn.
Arn't the names of them when 1 was a leetle Bit
&fa gaI-''
! Dubuque grocer having had an unprecedented
fenand for vinegar for several days, bottles
sgs, jugs, basins, tea-pots, and other pots, hay-
hing been constantly coming for a supply of the
1cid fluid, was tempted to try its quality for
hinself, when he discovered that he had tapped a
lzsDng cask, and sold a barrel of Old Bourbon
<rhisky at ten cents quart
+ "a MnE.-The following exhibit of the number
f yards contained in mile in different countries,
Iriil often prove a matter of useful reference to
1Eadcrs:
Mile in England or America, l,760 yards.
Mile in Russia, i, 100 yards.
b Mile in Italy, 1 .467 yards.
81 Mile in Scotland and Ireland, 2 200.
e Mile in Poland, 4, 400 yards.
Mile in Spain, 5,02S yards.
& Mile in Sweden and Denmark, 7,233 yards.
Mile in Hungary, $500 yards.
League in England and America, 5 ,28O yards.
Some years ago, there lived in an Eastern
own, an old man who had propensity for
r hooking'' small and portable articles that came
b his way. As he was poor and past labor, and
4 yell known about the town, no further notice
+ Fas taken of populations than to keep sharp
4 bok-out when he was around. A dealer had a
uantity of dry fish landed on the wharf at an
our too late to get them into his store. and as
ie was about covering them with old sail-cloth,
Ne espied old B., evidently accommodating. Sc
+. betting a couple of the fish, he said: 60 Here,
-B., must leave these fish out here tonight, and
will give you these two If you promise me that
T: ton will not steal any, "That is a fair offer,
Ar. A, but-weIl-I don't know with glance
g the ofere6 fish and then at the pile, " think
h can do better"