Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-06-10
HIsCELLANEOUs ITEMS.

hIbCElahaANEOUb ITENSs
A THR1LLNs TALR-The rattlesnake's.
NEXT to death, lemonade with
"stick in II Is said TO be the greatest
leveler.
Now is the time to be insured in the
Washington. Tomorrow the time to en-
Joy it.
ALTHOUGH bugs are Objectionable In
general way, nobody dislikes to ride In
buggy wagon.
FoREsIeHT is the right eye of Prudence,
and Prudence dictates Life Insurance.
Insure in the Washington.
Life, young man, is only
A slippery sheet OF Ice;
No girl there-it's lonely;
One girl there It's nice.
"DoN'T beat your carpets" says some
kind hearted person "try kindness and
down, send for policeman and have them
takep up."
DR. HALL says sponge beds are healthy.
We know man who has sponged beds,
and even sponged his meals, for five years,
and he isn't so very healthy-except at
meal times.
THE buffalo isn't good thing to pas.
ture. Put him into pasture and he will
pasture in every other pasture rather than
the pasture you want him to pasture in.
A woULD.BE suicide at Cincinnati was
pulled OFF the track before coming train
by railroad man, who warned him
against trying to "muss up the engine in
any such way as that"
THE answer lately given in a French
court by prisoner accused OF almost
cutting his wife to pieces, was, with a
smile, "Well, Monsieur President, you
know every one has his little failing"
AN excellent old deacon, who, having
won fine turkey at charity rattle
didn't like to tell his severely orthodox
wife how he came by it, quietly remarked
as he handed her the fowl, that the
"Shakers" gave it to him.
THE New Orleans Times thinks the
first object of the Dental Convention,
about to sit in that city, should be to ex.
anime into the condition of the mouth OF
the Mississippi-no trifling matter, since
the river has seven mouths, all full oi
snags and stumps.
AT collection made at charity fail
held in -, a lady offered the plate to O
rich man we'll known for his stinginess.
IL have nothing" was his curt reply
"Then take something, sir" she an
swered "you know | am begging for the
poor"
The following is an exact copy of {
warning recently posted upon Vermont
schOolhouse: Noties--Children anC
grone Folks are forbidden to go on to m
Lot to doc emmy Damag such as Pealinl
the Bark from treas or backing than u
niger or hert ther groth at the Penelty o
the Law"
A PgoUs but iniudicious individual will
a set of stencil plates devotes SATURDAY
nights, in Waterbury, Connecticut, to post
ing scriptural questions on the dead walls
Working in the dark, he chooses SOM
queer places. tits apt to destroy the in
tended effect, saysa local paper, to read
"What must do TO be saved? ?" TRY Dr.
sprague's Female Strengthening Bitters
AN impatient Welshman called to hi
wife, Come, come, isn't breakfast ready
I've had nothing since yesterday, and to
morrow will be the third dayw This
equal to the call of the stirring house
wife, who aroused her maid at fou
o'clock with "Come, Bridget, get up
Here It's Monday morning, to morrow i
Tuesday, the next day Wednesday-hal
the week gone, and nothing done yet !"
YOUTHFUL generosity was illustrated il
Albany recently. A little boy, smeare
all over with molasses, came running u
from the river, hourishing dirty shinglt
and screaming at the top of his voice to
comrade "Oh, Bill Bill get as man.
boys and shingles as you can, there's
big hogsit of 'lasses busted on the pave
ment-busted all to smash !"
A CHEMICAL lecturer, while expatiatin
on discoveries in chemical science, remark
ed that snow has been found to possess
considerable degree of heat An individ
{ ual present replied that, "truly chemistr
was a valuable science" and, anxious thS
the discovery nigh: be made profitable, b
, inquired of the lecturer, what number
, snow-balls would be sufficient to boil a te,
. kettle"
SAID one student to another, whom h
caught swinging scythe most Justify in
field of stout grass: Frank, what make
you work for living? A fellow wit
your talents and abilities should not /
caught engaged in hard labor. mean
+, get my living by my wits" Well, Bil
q you can work with duIler tools than | can
f was the reply.
= AN instance of distinction without d
u !
/. having legs of different sizes, ordered boo
: to be made accordingly. His direction
# were obeyed; but, as he tried the small
d boot upon the larger leg, he exclaimed, i
s dignantly: "Confound thesfellow, l @
o dered him to make one larger than the OF
n er, and, instead of that, he has made ol
o smaller than the other"
# A CERTAIN town near Providence h
OIu TO
u other morning he aWoke to fl
e the opposite house on fire. Pa
y TALLY dressing himself he ran aero
IS the street, timidly ringing his neig
7, boris door bell, and patiently waited +
y some one to answer the summons. Aft
is little "the man of the house" appear
l. and the timid man said, 81 do not wish
q create an unnecessary alarm, but yo
g. house is ON fire."
} JRssIE WILLIAMS had been doing SON
'e thing which her mamma had told her s.
"lusn't do. She had been eating curran
AID, of course, got her mouth all staine
that's the way she got found out. Nj
Williams said, You know you were fl
y hidden to eat currants !" But, moth,
A. Satan tempted mel" "Why didn't y
g say, Get thee behind me, Satan q q
say, Get thee behind me, Satan; and
in went and got behind me, and pushed I
10 right into the currant-bushes p
le A FEW days ago, says the London Ec
u singular instance of motherly love "
le brought under the notice of the Sheffit
y magistrates. The mother of lad W
70 stood charged with pocket picking h
" come all the way from America to hi
N the moment she heard he was in custo
IS here, and she now produced a retu
al ticket for recrossing the Atlantic the IL
u ment her unworthy son got liberty. UnC
e. the circumstances, the chief constal
as was instructed to liberate the prisoner
OF finding the story told by the mother v
le accurate.