The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-02-01

Conserve Anarchical, which will throw ah
things into confusion, carry tho Conseltu.
,;on ,hrcughSa new. alternative process OF
salvation. and bring out and finally estab-
l;sb a better Constitution and better conai-
ton Of things generally"
The voices of the chanters OF nostrums
will be ringing out in oil directions making
great confusion. The opposing quacks ~,l
confound the hearer-all proposing the
like results :, The Iron-Clad. Plaster ID COM
mended emphatically. 1t is claimed that
!, will do more than the Oil Democratic !;
ana tho yender offers a reward Of $4,000
for certificate showing that it ever failed
to do what he claims for it. The !" True
Republican" Aperient restores the diges-
ton. relieves headache, clears the intellect,
and sends forth man, proud and erect in
the sunlight Of Heaven, full of Joy and
hope. The Radical Eradicator will remove
everything, even property, to get ct the
root of disease, and by extirpating 1t, heal
the State. Hear, good people, they all say
We are your true friends. Come and let
us heal you all. We will gather you as
hen gathereth her chickens under her
wings, and make everybody rich and
happy.
Most noted in the field is learned pro-
lessor, in gaily painted chariot with lat
ticed sides, drawn by horses with excessive
trappings ridden by liveried grooms'
He bows most gracefully with powdered
head. His dress of buff and blue. He
looks disdainfully on the chanting quacks,
and moves amongst them with evident de-
sire to escape the wind that blows by them
Miserable dogs" cries he, that they
should infest the land The times are sadly
changed !" Seeking positions prominent,
as far as possible from those he detests,
he calls to the people: "Fellow-citizens, i!
beg you to respect yourselves and your
country. Condescend to no degrading
treatment. no charlatanism that will destroy
your manhood and deprave your mind
Think of the glory of the days that are
gone, and swear by all you hold dear, to
maintain your noble natures and the public
fame. I have studied all history, all
science, and find that for a decay
ling people and o diseased State,
nothing will suffice save the Balm
Of q Thousand Constitutions, the Elixir
of State Rights. These I tender free OF
charge. Disdain all quackery. Cherish
chivalry, cherish honor. f'Honor' says one
in the crowd. Can honor mend leg, or on
arm? Hath it any skill in surgery y Base
wretch" responds the professor, that dis
graces the very earth-you would rather
delve and be of the earth than aspire to
true nobility. What are your filthy practi-
cal matters, your dirt patches, and pota-
toes, and ham, and cabbages, compared
with the glory of past days and the resto-
ration of chivalryl Go to, thou art too far
sunk down for elevation Charioteer
avaunt we'll waste no more time upon
these sordid creatures, who know only how
to labor, and to eat, and to economic"
And away goes the gay old chevalier.
The people, somewhat perplexed by these
visitors, still continue, however, to address
themselves to the practical undertaking of
bringing order out Of chaos. And it may
he presumed if they hold out faithfully
that the quacks and charlatans will finally
leave them quietly devoted to their hercu-
lean task-a task which they assuredly
have the power and constancy to perform.
II they hut look little behind the plau-
sible exterior of the exhorting charlatans
they will discern many things not intended
to he seen. The issues raised upon the
patent nostrums are ingeniously devised as
bases OF claims for office. And when the
orators saw the air furiously and foam at
the mouth with excitement be assured that
there is something more than love of po-
litical dogma at the bottom of it all-some-
thing more expected than the triumph OF a
political maxim or theory. 1t would be
great mistake should the people allow them
selves to he driven to madness by the
frenzy of the political actors. Lay to
friends, and bring out the old State. Never
mind the quacks.
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We return thanks to Hon. ROBERT RIDG-