Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-09-15

Wit and iIum0r,

The Christian Advocate is not often
found among lawyers.
ISTREScHMENTs are the first care in war
--retrencAments in peace.
"A LODGE in some vast wilderness
insane Asylum at Oshkosh.
MoLAssEs las been decided by our post.
offices to be 'unmailable matter"
The Russian Empress is about organic.
ing ladies' club at st. Petersburg
ANDREW JOHNSON has declined being
candidate for Congress in Tennessee.
THE French troops are being supplied
with Bibles but the Prussians are Just cut
Salm-Salms.
To KEEP COOL in the country in warm
weather-slate your roof tight and shiugle
your hair close.
NAPOLEON ought to send for the New
York S venth there is not poor soldier
In the regiment.
TIE high. pressure, back.action, double
suction, Mobile Daily Tight Boot is just
now con the other leg"
ARTILLERYMEN convey their powder in
caissons; but they sometimes carry their
'priming" in their canteens
TIE Boston Post says Murat Halstead
complains that he can't get ice enough in
Paris TO cool his heated Imagination.
RFAR-ADM1RAL Breese, excellent officer
though he is, must remain rear-admiral,
because every sailor wants breeze abatt.
WAITER, this bit OF turbot is not as
good as that you gave us last week"
Waiter: BEG pardon, sir; it's of the very
same fish.
The Boston Transcript asks: 'If beauty
unadorned is adorned the most, isn't en-
belished ugliness all the more plain for It's
trappings2
A FRIEND up town asks ''what is the Big
Horn expedition" 1t is an expedition
around town late Sunday night in search of
an open saloon.
AS TIE Empress Eugene is the acknowl-
edged leader of fashion, we may shortly
expect something recherche, il the way of
travelling dresses
a CHICAGO lady, who don't like the shape
of her nose, has had an elegant one made
of india rubber. The only objection is said
to be, that she can't turn it up.
THE gold notes for the new gold banks
are to be printed on yellow paper, SO as TO
give az good substitute for the real art
icle as circumstance will permit.
FROM New Haven we have the intelli.
gence that Baron Won Schlager has given
IN, Z nl.+i 30,
play the "Marseil'aise' under his window.
KING WILLIAM has adopted the name Of
the French camp for his battle cry, and
thinks he Chalon TO Paris az once. The
French bsAt the news with great non.Cha-
Ions.
"MY dear" said sentimental wife,
"home, you know, is the dearest spot on
earth" well. yes" said the practical
husband, 1T does cost about twice as much
as any other spot,
''ARR these pure canaries?' asked ayOuug
Z lleman, who was negotiating toz q sit
for ais fair one. Eyes, sir, said the deeler,
confidentislly. 81 raised them ere birds
from canary seed. F"
TIE builder OF church in course of cree.
ton, when the toast Of his health was
given, rather systematically replied thai ne
was more fitted for the scatfcld than for
pubic speaking"
SOME one describing a ball said it was a
vast assemblage Of people who had neysr
met before, and who never cared to meet
again, and that they talked little, danced
little, eat little, and then went home
cross and tired out,
The Louisville Courier-J ournal has an
item about ths gentleman who enjoys the
gold plated distinction OF being the only
American swell who was ever thrown out
Of fifty thousand dollar six.in-hand-with-
out being instantly killed"
INSTEAD Of chops" at the watering places
this season, there are so many round
Dances that they are called twists" It is
very common 10 see gentleman walk up
to lady, run out his elbow and say Ma
dame, will you favor me with twis.?"-
And she twists.
WE venture to suggest to the publisher
Of our sprghtly contemporary the Eve
ming Star, that he give some new instluc-
lions TO his very large corps OF newsboys
who yell so yociferously every afternoon.
about tho doings of Marshal Benzine -
Philadelphia Ledger,
A FEW days since woman walking in
Last Norwegian street, in Pottsyille, Pa,
was attracted by the beautiful Scotch gran
lie monument which stands in d marble
yard. She asked, what IS il really?' The
proprietor told her that it was q granite
monument "Shure said she, IL thought
it was sausage mate in glass case"
The Buffalo Express thinks the editor Of
the Buffalo Commercial Advertiser is the
Lrishman who was ordered by his master
to give visitors who asked to see him, an
eguiygrhl answer ana subsequently report
ea:-' Faith, ! give hima quivikle answer;
| SZed him was MS grandmother mou'
key"
Tar young ladies oiColumbrs, Georgia,
are Lard to outwit The to1pe men Of that
city organized a bachelors club. The
y0guu itliaa 4bap arfsa y,syal a ,,y,a~ nls.h