Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-06-11
1asekIy Grinity 9ournal
Phillips First Baby.


while eating bis breakfast, and wruug the necks
of all the fowls on the place to make chicken
pie for tie celebration.
This worthy couple had been married ten
years, and this was their FIRST child. People
had laughed at them ten years on account Of
this luck-people who were overrun with chill
dren, and whose lives were made miserable oy
the spankiugs and seedlings they found neces
sary TO lnfict upon their wretched little olive
plants.
Now, Mrs. Philips said she guessed they'd
laugh out of the other side. There bad never
been so large baby born ia Smthfeld before.
Mrs Jones only weighed nine pounds, and bad
a pug nose. Mrs. Sawyers was red haired, and
had mole on its right foot-a sure sign that it
would come 10 bad end-and it only weighed
seven pounds and fourteen ounces. She guessed
folks had better look to home before they
laughed.
Baby proved to be a Tartar. He had temper
like windmill, and seemed determined TO de-
velop his feet and lungs to the utmost while
he had leisure, for he screamed and kicked
twenty-three hours out of the twenty-four.
But his mother declared he angel.
We could never imagine any angel with puffy
red cheeks, heels elevated in the air, sucking
sugar. rags, ard being pounced about in a will
low cradle to the tune of - High-ddde-dee, d"
but then our Imagination is not by any means as
vivid it might be.
From the hour in which the baby was born,
he was the autocrat of the household every
thing had 10 bog to bis nod.
The scullery door creaked it taken off
the hinges, and the servant was in the draft all
the time, because the creak might disturb the
baby. For the same reason the cotfee-mill was
moved into the wOodshed the dishes must be
washed out of door-the clatter of the plates
made baby scream the washing was done in
the barn the dog was muzzled and the cat
cboked-all from tear of disturbing the baby.
NJ L. ,,s.k l.,
Gated within quarter Of a mile, hundred
dollars to move his shop and Biddy
moved to the cockoft Of the woodshed
count Of her snoring.
The childs diseases were legion. 1t was a
wonder that it could draw it's breath with SO
many ailments clngng to it, Mrs. Philips
continually ou the watch for some new demon
stration.
" Charles p cried she, waking her husband
from slumber one cold winter night lit seems
to me the baby don't breathe just right
Mr. Philips sprang up and listened, Z" Good
gracious he's got the snufles amt he?'
"Oh dear what shall we do if baby is going
20 be sick %
Mr. Philips got light, and the anxious par
ents brought it to bear the face of their child.
% Oh, heavens !" cried his mother, g his face
is actually purple he's going to have the scar
let fever. See that red spot on his elbow"
@ 1t may be where he S laid on it - said Mr..
P"
sLaid on it? oh, yon unfeeling man you
unnatural father And there its sucking its
thumb I've known from the first it would
not live it sucks it's thumb so much -
@ Seems to me I've beard my mother say it
was sign ot healthy child to suck its thumb,
but won't be certain. Any way, it's good
sign or bad one. forget which"
Run, Charles run for doctor, it's going
20 die-I know it Oh, don't stop to dress
pnff =. e. r,lI
for Granny Bates, and tell her to bring me some
catnip, and saffron, and rue, and peppermint
tell her to bring all the herbs she's got and to
hurry, Charles, do Mercy on US it's sucking
both his thumbs Run-run p
Mr.. Philips caught up the first article of cloth
ing he could lay his hands on, which proved to
be an embroIderd petticoat of his wife, but he
was in too much haste and altogether too much
excited to notice dress particularly. He flung
the garment over his head and tied it around his
waist-slipped on his shoes and then plunged
out into the keen air. The doctor was asleep
and did not care about turning out, bat being
told that it was a case of life and death, he
yielded at once.
Mr.. Phillips left him dressing, and sped to the
residence of Granny Bates. The old lady was
wise, but she was dreadfully superstitious, and
believed religiously in warning and apparitons.
Phillips gave a laundering rap at her door,
and directly night-capped head appeared at
an upper window.
" What do you want at this time o. night, and
who be ye 2? said cracked voice.
Phillips stepped out and stood plainly revealed
by the light of dim moon
Good gracious massy p cried the old wo-
man, 4" its apparatus from t'other world And
it's got scooped petticoat Land j
didn t think they wasted their time on such van
tiles as that are"
"It's dyingT' exclaimed Philips. Come
down quick"
'NOt | amt green to trust my old
body with a supernatural ghost, and down went
the window with a bang. Phillips pounded at
the door till he tired and then made tracks
for home
DR.. Gray had just arrived. Mrs. Philips was
preparing to go into Mysteries as soon as she
heard his opinion
Baby much worse it had not only sucked
its thumbs but wiggled its toes. 1t could not
continue long The doctor, with a grave face,
entered the sick room Biddy rubbed her mis-
tress with camphor. Mr.. Phillips stood by
wpng his eyes with the drapery of his scant at
tire.
." oh, DOCTOR doctor will it die? Only save
it, and you may take all | have ~ cried Mrs
Phillips, wringing her hands I'll get down op
my knees and thank you forever"
Keep your sitting, marm, keep your sitting"
said the doctor, taking large pinch of snuff.
" Don't keep me in suspense only look at its
precious little arm What is it? For the love
of Heaven tell me-let me know the worst ~
"Well, marm, if speak out, you promise not
to blame me 2" asked the doctor, gravely.
"No, no -
"Marm," said he with his long face still more
elongated, /" it's my opinion and
physician, thatLle child has been bitten by four
bedbugs, or else it has been bitten in four places
by one insect of that description.
"Dr. Gray" cried the father - do you mean
TO insult usY'
"By no means, sir-I repeat it,"
"No you don'tW yelled Mrs. P. " It's enough
TO insinuate that have bed bugs, to say moth
ing of your libel that little angel cherub.
Get out of this house this Instant, you meau,
cheating, insulting old vagabond." And, seiz-
ing the butler-lade from the table, where Biddy
rla cd ELII Of hnH nI,l. An,,r