The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-10-21

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my potatoes were baking. Still it
was bitt;lr, dark and astringent, in
stead Of the fragrant amber-colored
beverage, my mother usually placed
before me. But half the quantity
was an improvement, and l prided
myself on my economy.
The coffee was bitter until the
third morning, when put in a stale
egg by mistake; but that was no
loss, as told myself, for it would
learn me to be more careful in fu-
ture, and, accordingly, I examined
each one carefully.
One morning I resolved to have
some fried for breakfast, and the
first one 1 took up, havinga suspi-
cious look, to test it, I shook it near
my ear, when pop went the abomin-
able thing, and ear, beard and mouth
were sprinkled with the unfragrant
liquid. Faugh! 1 can smell it yet!
But that was not all, for stepping
back to reach the hand basin, / trod
on Jenny's cat-I wonder if cats are
possessed by an evil spirit2-and to
save the squalling brute hurriedly
raised my foot, and planted it square
in the egg basket, tangled the other
in the handle, and measured five
feet and ten inches on the kitchen
floor, to the horror of the wretched
cat, that fed, splitting and signalling,
to the garret, satisfied, no doubt,
with what she had done.
1 kicked the basket from my feet,
and should not be willing to swear
that I did not use my feet more than
was necessary for that purpose.
Good and bad eggs were unmis-
takingly mixed now, and I threw
the Shiny mass out of doors, with a
decided an ipathy to eggs for break
fast.
The next day some evil genius
must have whispered me to cook
some beans. They will be so con
venient, 1 thought. This cooking
every meal is bore.
After a long search, L found the
sack that contained them, and turn
ing out two quarts, perhaps, washed
and drained them, and then selecting
a nice piece of salt pork, placed it |
over them in a pan, and put them
in the oven to bake. But, as l have
since learned, dry beans and salt
pork have no affinity, and the more
1 cooked them the harder they be-
came, if such a thing were possible. |
The pork sputtered and snapped, but |
the beans remained small and shiny |
as at first. Two, three hours were
given them, and then 1 took them |
from the oven to make a diagnosis
of the case.
But one thickness of cloth is not
enough between the hand and smok-
ing hot metal; at least, such is my
judgement; and coming to that con
clusion before l reached the table,
let 60, and they came rafting to the
floor like hail-stones, giving a map |
of Greece grease not down in any |
geography, ancient or modern.
Blowing my blistered fingers, at in
tervals, 1 shoveled the bewitched |
things into the back yard, fervently
hoping they would not take root and
produce a second crop, obstinate
as themselves. |
But 1 must have something be-
sides meat and potatoes; the bread
was all consumed, and I was becom-
ing desperate. Some corn bread
yes, could recall the recipe! l
found the meal, turned on the scald-
ing water, added the other ingredi-
ents, and soon had a brown loaf,
tempting to the eye, at least. But I |
soon found that beauty was its prin-
cipal charm. If it did not ''turn to
ashes on the lips" it did something
much coarser; and there was an un-
cooked taste about it decidedly un-
pleasant. The few mouthfuls man
aged to swallow scratched my throat
so numerically that l was fearful of
some mortal disease having its seat
in that part; but careful examina-
ton relieved my fears. And l may
as well state here that my unforta-
nate cake was made Of some coarse,
unsifted meal my careful mother !
had reserved for the chickens.
l did not like corn bread, that was
certain; but l could try some bis
cult. Accordingly, substituting flour
for meal, I added the rest, hot water
and all. But, shade Of Tantalusl it
was neither butter nor dough, and
to everything it touched.
broke the mixing spoon in trying
to stir it-plastered my hands in the
to remove the broken spoon
and dropped the rollingpin on my
most thrifty corn. l.
Just then the door bell rang, and
all but my profession, 1
brushed the hair off my forehead
with my sticky fingers, and answered
the call to the no small surprise of :
the pumpkin who was sent for me,
and who reported that "Dr. Cooper
gin bread pills, cause he seen him
maxim 'em."
The summons was urgent, and
my hat and gloves, [ was |
soon with my patient, who was not
too rich to wonder, as his attendants
diG, if was trying to take a cast of i,
myself, clothes and all, in plaster?
Released at last, / returned, deter :
mined to finish those biscuits. The }
mass worked a little better, now it
was cool, but still would take no
form resembling a biscuit, dabble in
it as 1 would.
Completely disgusted with the
glutinous pile that clung viciously
to everything it came in contact with
and crawled to each side of the
board, as if anxious to get away
from itself, stood, and eyed it saw
lgely, and wondered what l should
10 next?
81 will tumble it into the pan," I
said to myself, "and perhaps it will '
be bread l like new bread"
But this was feat easier contem- >
plated than accomplished. The {
board was covered with the abomi- {
lable stuff, and every particle stuck
ike melted wax but, by dint of :
ooking, pushing and dragging, the
greater part was finally transferred
% the pan and then, with thoughts