The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1870-02-04
W1it att& 9utt,ur.

Wit att6 Duttur.
- Common scents-musk "a n
might-blooming cereus. - -
- Old men are moved down. bu
babies are Graded. --.---
1.-THE ties that come ct the bushes
man with the publlc-advertise.
- People who are behind the time
should be ted on ketckup.
I'll come to steal |" as the ra
SAID to the trap. "And l spring {,
embrace you !" as the steal trap repli
ed to the rat.
- An Austrian has invented tor
pedo. which will shatter to pisces, b,
simple contract, the strongest and lar
est ironclad that can be built. Anoth
er way to secure universal peace.
- At recent temperance celebra
ton, little lad appeared in the process.
sion bearing a flag on which was in.
scribed the following: "All's right
when daddy's sober.
- An old minister asked a woman
what could be done to induce her hus
band to attend church. II don't know
unless you were to put a pipe and a
jag of whiskey in the pew" was thean-
swer.
- Booth, the tragodian had the
misfortune to have hi. nose broken by
Thomas Flynn, some years since. A
lady once said to him. 81 like your
acting but cannot get over your
nose.' mo wonder, madam" repli-
cd he, "the bridge 10 gone.o
- Tom = said one friend to anotb-
or while in the cars coming to a level
place; Tom, this ID indeed dead
level here, isn't itY'
All says Tom, turning pale, Il hope
they won't level US with the dead.'
-Senti mental Love. aCharles, do
know do. Mrs, SimpkinS." How
much do you love herr Il love her
! love her "a hard--as hard as a horse
can kick Mrs. Simpkins was satisfied
OF the strength of his affection.
- She tripped along with ribbons
hying, from bran new hat she'd lust
been buying. She held her head I'D
very high, and thought, "Well, amt /
just old pie J" An orange peel lay IT.
the track, she tripped, and fiat upon
her back lay Miss Maria Simkins.
- A gentleman being asked ii he
was seriously injured wien the steam
boiler exploded, Is said to have replied
that he Was So used to being blown 10
by his wife that mere steam had no ef-
feet ON HIM.
--ssMa," said little urchln, peep
ing from beneath the bed clothes, 81 |
am cold; want some more cover on |
the bed" ''lie still, my DEAR said
the mother, ''until your sister comes
home from church; she has got the COM
torter fer bustls."
A lawyer once asked Dutch
man concerning pig, In court:
"Whst ear-marks had hep"
"Vell, ven first became acquainted
NIT de hook he had no ear-marks ex-
cept a very short tall"
-" Look here, boy" said a nervous
Did gentleman to an urchin, who was
nunching sugar candy at a lecture,
yen are annoying me very rnuch."
IN ., ain t, I'm a-gnawing this SUI
.ar candy" replied the boy.
- "Who built the first house pr
.sked an ambitious school ma'am of a
right little girl on 'eXhibition day.
81 don't know, ma'am, but | guess
| oah did,"
"Why do you think so, my dear?,
because he's the first drE-itect we
cad Of"
The most affectionate specimen
amatory poetry that has come to L
ur notice during the past week Is the Q
allowing: b
When old Carlow sits on sally's chair,
/ hHf . | q
men her fairy fingers pat his head. "
Oh! don't wish twas me instead. a
When Sally arms his neck imprison.
On don't wish my neck was his'n:
When sally kisses Carlows's nose
Oh! don't wish that l were those.
Pat. an odd Joker, and Yankee II
ice riding together. jibbet passed by: he
Id the Yankee to Pat If don't make too iS
free, 40
We that gallows its due, and pray where =,
Why, honey" said he. "faith that's easily II
known, La
be riding to town by myseIfalI alone.u NJ
- An old lady being in store at n,
aserbuty, Conn, recently sat down {
d reached out her half frozen feet TO Be
Herring safe, remarking, she al
US did like those air tight stoves int
--"I think that have seen you be- u 7
Q, sir" said one gentleman 20 an EN-
Ter. Are you not Owen Smith ?n ma
a yes" replied the other, "I'm ow- No,
Smith, and OWN Jones, and OWN, gra
own, and OWN the Native Virgin ito
tioi
- A husband sdvertises thps sire
wife Maria has strayed or bean and
len. Whoever returns her will gat 9nd
head broke. As to trusting her toi
body can do so If they see 1T: AZ sar
or pay my own debts, it's not like ma
II pay her'n." tie
= A ~ag having dispute with a this
VINO kept sausage shop, and ow- =
MIN a grudge ran into his store ons
: as ne was serving several custom
Win an immense dead cat. which
nddenly deposited on the counter. d.
ng: D(
rms makes nineteen, as you rae.
!, now, wen settle another time ;, PHO
he was off In a twlhkIine. Tina
omers aghast soon followed him
ing their sausage behind. NA
= II eastern editor SAYS that conl !,
IN New York got himself info Oct
Die by marrying two wives.
erh editor replies that good manv Vrr
nave done the same thing by mar, w
one. A northern editor saws reno
number of his acquaintance ry str
trouble enough by barely prom S ~ r.
TO marry without going any fur cust t,
a southern editor SAYS that suran
4 OF his was bothered ennuoh tome
simply found In Command III ~ ~ pat