The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-02-17
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

THE first Board of Education The
Black board.
USEFUL MARRIAGE-Being welded to
ones business.
ACADEMY OF DEsIGN-A young lady's
boarding school.
WHY is proud woman like music
book? She is full of airs.
He told me-" says Artemus Ward, "to
get out of the office. l pitisd him, and
went"
WHAT is the first thing lady does
when she falls into the water, She gets
wet.
ALWAYS look at the bright side of every
| thing; it is just as cheap and ten times as
good.
The payments in the Washington are
never greater than they are the first year
IRRITABLE SCHOOLMAsTER =" Now,
then, stupid, what's the next word? What
comesafter cheese?" Dull boy-"A mouse,
sir"
| Up among the Adirondacks, if the
natives happen upon visitor with gloves
on, they ask "What is the matter with
your hands?"
MISGUIDED CHILD.-A young lady of
sixteen, who had worn short dresses all
her life, positively told her mamma she
would wear them no longer.
He that forecasts what may happen
shall never be surprised; it's too late to
begin to arm when the enemy is in our
quarters. Moral-Insure your life in the
| Washington.
THE man in Jail who looked out Of the
window of his cell and exclaimed, "This
is CRATE country! is now generally adj
United to have spoken within bounds
THE Oshkosh (Wis) Northeastern says
Eight clergymcn assisted in the marriage
ceremony of a Fond du Lac girl last week
She was going to Chicago to reside"
AN old lady was admiring the beautiful
picture called "Saved" "Its no wonder -
said she, "the poor child tainted, after
pulling that great dog out OF the water"
AN industrious old man in Eastern Con
necticut, whose early education was neg
lected, has put out a sign announcing
"Goin out whitewashln done in here"
SCENE ON THE STREET.-First newsboy
=" | say, Jim, lend us three cents, will
yer?" Second newsboy-" Now look a
here, what do you take me for, Jim Fisk,
or Vanderbilt:"
WIFE" says gentleman of New Ha.
ven, "has Willie been baptized?" mo
my dear, not yet; but why do you ask
john Because there is great deal OF
smallpox about, and it ought to be done
at once"
AT a prayer meeting in Augusta, Me-
some irreverent urchins woke up the sex
ton, who had fallen asleep, when the star
tied functiOnary, supposing it was just
morning, exclaimed, Marial Maria get
up time to get breakfast"
HosT Allow me to get you partner
Languid swell: Thank you, but lar
don't dance. Host then let me introduce
you to Miss Twaddle, she's a great hand
at conversation. Languid swell: You're
very kind, but lar" never" converse.
A CADAvEROUs old horse that was
awaiting his fate at the hands of the fat
boilers of New York broke from his stable
the other day, and crushing open the door
of a neighboring tenement pensveIy
walked up three lights of stairs, where
he poked his head out of window and
took long and contented gaze at the
scenery.
, TIE editor Of the Gardeners MonthIy
says that nothing is easier than to grow
goOseberries. 1t is mountain fruit, and
does not like a hot soil. Set the plants
across the lot in pretty thick row, and
pile up over the roots five or six inches
deep of old brush wood, corn roots, old
leather boots, pots or kettles even, if you
cannot get anything else, so that the roots
will always be near the surface and &c,
cool, and good crops will be the result.
A YOUNG Boston man, who purposed
starting business in New York city, made
a preliminary visit there, armed with let
ters of introduction to business men,
These presented and the usual compli
ments passed, the New York merchant
inquired of young Boston what he in
! tended to do. 81 have not exactly de
cided," replied the young Puritan, but
, expect to settle into some good business
in which | can get living honestly" "a
living honestly" "An honest living,
repeated the Bostonian. "Young man,
said the New Yorker, al congratulate
} you: thore is not city in the United
States in which you will meet with SC
little competition in your method of doing
business"