Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1870-06-30
e + /, TT / s { /! II II Il i /.
ABOUT WALLER DOGS.

When Noah disembarkad at iArarat be
had scarcely touched the pier when he
proceeded to tally his passengers. He had
Just checked his last item in the list--a
Ir and Mrs. Bed Bug-when the cring-
ing figure Of quadruped came sneakiDg
Gown the gang plank with bis tail between
lis legs. Ora: it /! if there .ain't hat
Saller dog J says Noah aiming q vicious
kick with his brogan at the brute. But
with facility born Of long and bitter
experience, the brute lodged the projectile
aud calculating Xxi (which is Syriac
1or Declined with thanks or mot for
Joe'-he disappeared, while Noah who
Lad his sea legs on. was unable to recover
his equilibrium, and sat down with EN-
fhasis on the back of his head.
Noah arose, and in accordance with
ihe style prevalent among the patriarcbs,
he proceeded to soothe his afronted digni-
~ by pronouncing variegated anathema
upon the yal!er dog, which had character
i>tically sneaked unobserved on board in
tie confusion of putting to sea. and cap
sized the captain at the first port He
cursed that dog il body, limb, bark, hide,
hair, tall and wag, and all his genera
lions, relations, and kindred by coasan-
guinity or affinity, and his heirs and
assigns. He @onrsed him with endless
hunger, with PERPETUAL fear, with per-
enninl lazn ess, with hopeless mango. with
3ncessant fea3, and with his tail between
lis legs. He closed his stock of ,nalelic-
tlons' by a STARTLING display OF p5ro;ech-
MICS, from the dcmoralizlng effect of
which the yaller dog has never recovered.
With this curse sticking to him Ike
n revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't help
Icing cussed. He don't try to help it.
lie follows Noah'S programme with
tneaking fidelity He is an Ishmaelite
among dogs. lie. receives Tie most
oppressive courtssics, in The form Of
'frlckbats, boots ard hot water; which
makes his life an animated target OK
rurson. He boards around like a dis
trict school teacher, and it is meal time
18th him twenty four hours in the day.
The rest of the time he hankers after
something to cat He is too omniyercus
for an epicurc. Cram him at Delmonico's
and he would hunger for desert from an
albany boarding house.
He can't be utilized. He is too tired
As swii cart locomotive, a hunter. or
sentinel, he is on ignominious failure
ghe dog churn was strategic attempt to
employ his waste energies, but he hadn't
any waste energies, and butter had too
much selfrespect to come at his persuasion.
80 the dog churn was dropped.
!. Nc Sausage maker Dare foreclose bis
lien on the yaller dog, lest his customer.
no longer soothed and sustained by an
anfaltering trust-transfer the patronage
10 some less audacious dealer. The
favages, who admire baked dog and who
even attack trlpe and explore the myteries
If hash without disuiay, Acknowledged
The yaller dog to be too much for their
gastric intrepidity.
lie always manages 10 belong to a
ragged tobacco chewing, whiskey drink
ing master, whose business is swapping
dogs and evadng the dog law. Tie
yaller dog is acquainted with himself. and
he enjoys the intimacy with edifying con-
tempt He sinks along through life, on
diagonal dog trot. as if in doubt as to
which end of him is entitled to the pre-
cedence. lie is always prevailed by
hang dog sense of guilt, and when
fetribdtive tin ware is fastened to- his tail,
he flies from the wrath to come TO hoffi-
led celebrity which Ought Is be very sug
getive to two legged sinners of similar
ordeal IN store for them.
The yallcr dog is-wel. to speak in
italics, he is slouch -Murh Twoin,