The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-10-15
selves under my banner, noble savages,
illustrious guttersnipes--. VOL
"Down wild him !"~ "
Scoop the blsgyardl9f ,r

selves under my banner, noble savages,
illustrious guttersnipes--. Eg}f
'Down wild him !"~ "
Scoop the blagyardr'f
Hang himi
Burn him r.
"Dhrownd him.
II 1t was the quickest operation that
ever was. / simply saw sudden flash
in the air Of clubs, brickbats, fists, bead
baskets and mocasins-a single flash
and they all appeared to me at once,
and no two of them in the same place.
In the next instant the whole tribe was
upon me. They tore all the clothes off
me, they broke my arms and legs, they
gave me thump that dented the top
of my head till it would hold coffee like
a saucer; and to crown the disgraceful
proceedings and add insult to I'M jury,
they threw me over the Horseshoe Fall
and got wet.
About ninety or hundred feet from
the top, the remains of my vest caught
on projecting rock and l was almost
drowned before i could get loose. /
finally fell, and brought up in a world
of white foam at the foot of the Fall,
whose celled and hubby masses tow
cred up several inches above my head.
Of course l got into the eddy. / sailed
round and round it forty-four times
chasing chip and gaining upon it
each round trip half q mile-reach-
ing for the same bush on the bank forty
four times, and just exactly missing it
by a hairs breadth every time At last
a man walked down and sat down close
to that bush, and put a pipe in his
mouth and lit a match, and followed
me with one eye and kept the other on
the match while he sheltered 1t with
his hand from the wind. Presently a
puff of wind blew it out. The next
time l swept round he said:
Got match p
"Yes-in my other vest Help me
out, please"
Not Tor Joe"
When came around again | said:
Excuse the seemingly impertinent
curiosity Of drowning man, but will
you explain this singular conduct of
yours y - .-a ~ R
with pleasure. | am the Coroner.
Don't hurry on my account. can
wait for YOU. But / wish | had a
match"
/ said: Take my place and I'll 60
and get you one"
He declined This lack of confidence
on his part created a GOODNESS between
us, and from that time forward avoid
ed him. 1t was my idea, in case any
thing happened to me, to 80 time the
occurrence as to throw my custom into
the hands of the opposition coroner
over on the American side. At last a
policeman came along and arrested me
for disturbing the peace by yelling at
people on shore for help. The Judge
fined me, but l had the advantage of
him. My money was with my panta-
looms, and my pantaloons were with the
Indians
Thus l escaped. l am now lying in
a very critical condition. At least |
am lying, anyway, critical or not crit
ical.
am hurt all over, but | cannot tell
the full extent yet, because the doctor
is not done taking the inventory. He
will make out my manifest this evening.
However, thus far he thinks only six OF
my wounds are fatal. / don't mind
the others.
Upon regaining my right mind, l
said:
at is an awfully savage tribe Of In
dams that do the bead work and moe
casins for Niagara Falls, doctor. Where
are they from ?"
Limerick, my son"
I shall not be able to finish my re-
marks about Niagara Falls until get
better.