Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1870-03-28
why Aunt Sally Didn't Marry.


YOU never married. You know you said once
that when you were engaged to minister, and
promised YOU would tell US all about 1t some
time. Now, Aunt, please do"
Well, if ever did see such girls in my
born days. It's tease, tease frOm morning TIL
night, but what you must know all about
everything that you havn't any business 70
know ANYTHING about. Such inquisitiye, pes
tferous critters as You srel When | was
young, girls was different; they minded their
business and didn't 20 sailing around with
whole string of beauS, getting their head nlied
with all kinds Of nonsense. l never dare to
ask nv aunts. married or single, about any Of
their affairs. Pretty mess Id have got in if
| had. When they offered to tell me anything
of their own accord | kept my mouth shut
and listened. Everything is different now-a-
days young folks have no respect for their
elders-but as see am not going to have
any peace till do tell you, why jist listen, and
don't let me hear a word out Of one of your
mouths till get through"
That's right, Aunt Sally; go right ahead,
do aud wen keep perfectly still"
"Well, you see when was about seventeen
years old, | was living in Utica, in the State
Of New York-though say it myself, | was
quite good-looking girl then, and had several
beaux. The one that took my fancy most was
young minister, a very promising young man,
and remarkably pious and steady. HethOught
a good deal of me, and kind Of took fancy
to him. and things ran on till we were en-
gagged"
Zone evening he came to me. | remember
it as well as if it were only yesterday. When
be came into the parlOr, where was sitting
alone, he came up to me and-but now, pshaw
girls don't like to tell the rest"
"Oh, Aunt Sally, for mercys sake don't
stop tell US what be did"
Well, as said he came up to me, put his
arms around me, and rather Rugged me, while
| got excited and somewhat frustrated, and
it was long time ago, and don't know but
what might have Rugged him back little.
Then Ifelt-but now just clear out, every one
Of YOU, l shan't tell any more"
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally. Tell
US how you felt Didn't you feel good, and
what did be do next %
Oh, such torments as you are! l was like
any other girl, and pretty soon pretended to
be mad about it, aud pushed him away, though
/ wasn't mad a bit You must know that the
house where lived was on one of the back
streets of the town. There were glass doors
in the parlor which opened right out in the
street, and no balcony or anything of the kind
in front Of the house. As it was in the sum-
mer season these doors were opened, and the
shutters just drawn to. l stepped back lit
tie from him, and when he edged up close
pushed harder than intended to; and don't
you think, girls, the poor fellow lost his bal
ance and fell through one Of the doors into the
street? Yes, it's so. As he fell gave
scream and caught him-but declare won't
tell anything more. am going to leave the
room"
No, no, Aunt Sally How did you catch
him Did you hurt him much ?"
Well, if must, must. lie fell head 6rst,
and as he was going caught him by the legs
Of his trowsers. l held on for minute and
tried to pull him back, but his suspenders gave
way, and the poor young man fell clear out of
his pantalOons into whole parcel Of ladies
and gentlemen passing along the street"
ooh, Aunty, Auuty, Lordy, Lordy He, he,
be r.
There, shafts right giggle and squeal as
much as you want to-girls that can't hear
about little thing like that without tearing
around the room, and hs-he-ing in such way,
don't know enough to come home when it
rains. \ nice time the man that ever marries
one Of you viii have, won't be Catch me
telling you anything again
But, Aunt Sally, what became of him p
Did YOU never see him again?
No, the moment he touched the ground he
got up, and left that place in terrible hurry
tell you it was a sight to be remembered to
see how that man did run. Father happened
to be coming up the street at the time, aud he
said he never saw anything to equal it in his
whole life heard others say that he did the
fastest running ever known in that part of the
country, and that he never stopped or looked
behind until be was two miles out of town.
He sent me note a few days aiterward. saving
that the engagement must be broken off, as he
could never look me in the face again after
what had happened. lie went out West, and
l believe he spreading in Illinois, But he
never married. He was very modest and /
suppose he was so badly frightened that time
that he never dared to trust himself near
woman again. That, girls, is the reason l
never married. felt very bad about it for a
long time, for he was real good man, and
I've often thought to myself that we should
always have been happy If his Suspenders
had NJ gjreR array
Judge Shackleiord, one of the most promi-
nent Republicans in Tennessee, and an ap-
r,ofrfne 80 fha p,,,l l..