The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-02-07


ale, and thought TO terminate his Irritation
with a flourish of trumpets, but, on return
ing TO his lonely grazing-grounds, found that
he had miscalculAted the hardness of his heart
and that he could not live without the Hebe
who had put O charm into his beer Apropos
Of refreshments and the inveiglement Of
rustic swains may be quoted an advertisement
which shows that intelligent purveyors do not
depend for patronage entirely upon the
soundness and excellence of their vines
"wANTRD YOUNG LADY, OF prepossessing ap-
pearance for retail wine establishment In London
Apply by letter. enclosing carte de-viste and stating
particulars Of last situation and salary required, to
A. B., 81, B., T. G."
Two or three peeps may now be afforded to
prove that unconventional methods of pro-
ceeding where the two sexes are concerned,
appear sometimes to entail trouble and dis
appointment, and possibly considerable dis
advantage. For instance
'H'''o.-Shoud this meet the eyelof the gentleman
| OF the above name, he is requested by the Young
LADY ne leIt IN Charotte street Fitzroy square on
OF oxford street and Great Portland street. on We'd
nesday or Thursday next, at eight p. NJ"
1t looks very much as if the gentleman and
lady had separated to attend their respective
parish churches and had never met again;
nor does the wording of the advertisement
suggest the picture of true knight searching
diligently for the lady of his love. Here
again.
IF this should meet the eye OF the party who met
| lady on the 21st Of November between seven and
half-past eight Called himself gentemsn) he is
earnestly requested to appoint another meeting and
explain why he did not meet the lady on the Goth.
| Still yours, A. G."
1t is not often that any one has the oppor-
tunity of calling himself gentleman, but,
when such an opportunity has offered itself,
it must be doubly CALLING to be described as
"a party" no other words could SO fully tes-
tify to the bitterness Of the fair advertisers
indignation. Yet she puts "still yours" she
does not dismiss the "party," but shows how
easy amongst advertising lovers is the proven
bial ''redintegratio amoris." The next peep
sets before the minds eye picture of life
| not dissimilar, one would say, to that dis
closed in the two preceding cases; but every
thing about it is misty and indistinct, al
though there appears to be in the background
the dim outline of q horrible scene, repre-
sentipg how two sisters, over-affable and
over-confding, found common miserable
fate. There is dreadful significance in the
| brief notioe:-
| "B. b. Fear you have shared the fate OF your
| sister. Write If sate.-M. A. B."
| 1t is now time to take peep at the singu-
| lar case of ''the man with the shabby hat !"
That must be q curious social circle which
admits the possibility of fxingsa truant
members identity by mentioning merely the
shabbiness of his hat general observation
|
fusing to understand that the description ap-
piled to him. However, it seems to be taken
for granted that ''the man with the shabby
hat" has conscience which will tell him un-
mistakably who is meant; and complete
| melodrama might be constructed upon the
basis of the following materials. First we
have simple entreaty:-
'The man with the shabby hat is requested to re-
| turn to his Maltha.-h b."
| Than ,,erarnptorv command
''The man with the shabby hat must return to his
Martha Immediately, to prevent unpleasant conse-
quences.-N. b."
Then remonstrance:-
"The man with the shabby hat was seen in oxford
street. therefore cannot have any excuse for such
conduct-M. B."
Then threat
To the Man with the Shabby Hat.-Your beha.
viour shall be exposed unless you return.-M. b."
Then the first faint sign of the threatened
exposure:-
''To the Man with the Shabby Hat.-Martha has
called attention to yonr hat, thinking 1t would re-
mind you OF the tickets under the leather. Be wise
N N. t&s ana return Osi0fe TOO iA'' 100 iA'e'
And what is the end Does remorse or feai
drive the shabby one back to his Martha's
arms? Or does the advertiser, being halter,
think that the unpleasant suspicious excited
against the wearers of shabby hats will have
the desired effect upon his more sensitive OIL
|
rash to answer positively; but there is no one
it is well known, so mad as a halter.
According to after-dinner and similar
speeches, life and property are so secure il
} this happy land that q peep at different
state Of things may have the charm of novelty
, Here is revelation:-
zone Thousand Pounds Reward-Whereas, It Il
believed that attempts have for some time past beel
made to poison a lady in Lancashire, a reward o
e1000 is hereby offered to any one who may turI
Queens evidence, or who may give such informa
: Address TO the lady herself as well as to the con
stabulary OF the county, and to the police stations
Manchester or Liverpool"
1t appears that the lady is so well known al
to require no particular address beyond ''Th,
! lady who is being poisoned, Lancashire" tina
: the attempts at poisoning are no secret; anC
, that, nevertheless, the constabulary of tn,
county and the police of Manchester ant
Liverpool, with all their united wits, canno
q get on the trail of the guilty "party." But
: perhaps the strangest peep behind the seem
2 is this last
GAN OLD OBIIGATIoN.-Mr @. again begs to knoy
whom he may thank for a further payment OF Gl0t
and account OF what obligation 1t has been paid.
1t would seem as if there we're somewher
in this country race of men whose gratitud
| actually takes the form of repayment.
. Discovery of a New Manuscrip
Q of the Pentateuchs
o Most of our readers are aware that th