The Tarboro' southerner., 1870-07-07
Jersey Lightning.
J5U BILLINGS TELLS WHAT HE

Knows ABOUT IT.
NFo it Waz that Invented alch0hol
am unable tew tell without lieing
but it would hav bin Il fust klass
blessing for the rest of US if he and
tie lickor had both ov them been split
OF the ground and never bin sopped
ny since.
he Devil himself with all his ge>
MUS for tea strike, could not have
rolled ball more serviceable for hiz
blzlness on earth one more certain
TO 4ualter on the head pin and sweep
th- alley every time. Rum il the
Devils stool pigeon, hiz right bower,
hlz high, low jack aud the game.
A glatc menny, with dyspeptic NOR
ais, argy that lickor is Indispensable
for manufacturing and doktor pur-
poses, and also for lnekanika. ases,
and they hold that yu kouldnt raize a
barn that would stand, without emmy
good old i Jamaka rum, and sum say
that pudding sass, without emmy spir-
its in it IL no healthier than common
goose grease.
But a~l oy these argys are furnish
ed, free oy cost, by the Devil himself,
and emmy man who advances them IL
telling without knowing it, perhaps,
dies that will weigh, at ruff estimate,
at least pound apiece. But rny OBJ
jeckt in these fu preiiminus remarks
IL tew git good chance to tell what |
know about Jersey lightning,' Zone
ov alchohol's imps y as manufaktur-
lug and metaphysical agent.
Jezsey Lightning IL cider brandy,
three hours old, still born, and quicker
than flash. This buice il drunk raw
by all the sports aad makes a p.emon-
itory and h!ss;ng nois az it winds down
the thrut, like and old she-goose
setting on oggs, or hot iron stack
into icewatcr. Three horns q dIy Of
this lihker will tan mans interior in
SIX months, SO that ha kan swallow a
live, six~footed krab, feet tust, and
not waste wink.
1t dontt fat a mani cider brandy
DON'T like whiskee duz, but FUCKERS
him up like fried potatoze, If q man
kan survive the fust three years Of
Jersey lightning, he il safe then for
the next Is years tew cum, and keeps
looking every day more like three
year old red pepper pod, hotter and
hotter. An old cider brandy drinker
will steam, in a sudden .hower Of rain,
like pile ov stable manure, and hiz
breath smells like the bunghole OF a
rum cask lately emptyed.
When Jersey lightning il fust born
it tastes like bilciug turpcntine aud
cayene, half.and half. and will ra;ze a
Llood blister on pair of old kowhide
Drogans iu Is minn;ts, and applied
externally viii cure the rumatlsm OF
kill the patient, forgot which. The
fust horn 4 nan takes ov this lick r
make him thiuk he has swallow cd a
-ls lit, aud he viii 50 cuc behind
tie a.rn and try tew die but kaut.-
Ih. ,yts Of AZ old ciderbrandiSt look
like deep gashes kut into ripe tomas
to, his Doze il the llompieNshun ov a
hali-biled lobster, and the grizzie in
his gullet sticks out like on elbow in a
tin lender
The more villainous the d.ink the
more inveterate are those who drink
it. | kant tell yer wheter cider
brandy viii shorten an old suckers
days or not, for they generally outlive
all the rest os the nabors, aud die Just
as soon as the old tavern stand changes
hands and il opened on temperance
principles. One bottle oy sassaparilla
o. ginger popp il az fatal tew thezc
Old tcIiurs az rifle ball IL tew bed
bug.
twould do almoste cnnythIng but
murder tew save yung man from
Jersey lightning, but trleing tew
save an old Que il like trieing tew
put the fire ont ov holler log, yu
might az we'll let it burn up, for the
ashes IL worth more than the logs.