Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-05-27
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
For A wEpD1Na soNe-Love-knot.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
For A WEDDING soNe-Love-knot.
CouRT-P PLAsTERs for dam.
ages '7fHoH y" ''ae'i'r-'
THE keynote of good breeding is B
natural. 'ift 7-srtt,
To MAKE A VENETIAN BLIND--Put out
his eyes. ry.ftrtI -y
To BE LET-Some young swells faces.
They are generally vacant.
A MAN ever ready to scrape an acquain-
tsnce--The barber. 80. ...N'
Snow this to your wifei A never fail
ing cure for sulks"-Silks.
CAN curl over the forehead be called,
Locke on the Understanding ?"
WHEN man gets so low that he will
even borrow trouble, his case Is desperate
THE husband who devoured his wife
with kisses found afterwards that she dis
agreed with him.
Do unto others as they would like to do
TO you" is PunchiaelLo'S golden rule for
Wall street. .'srs'7'''-'
THoUeH men boast of holding the reins,
the women generally tell them which way
they must drive.
WHY was Robinson Crusoe's man Fri
day like rooster? Because he scratched
for himself and crew-so. go a'
WAsHERwoMEN are great travellers.
They are continually crossing the lines
and running from pole to pole.
I'm sitting on the style Mary" as
the fellow said when he ruthlessly sat
down on his sweetheart's new bonnet.
MANY man grumbles because it costs
as much per day for ice for his whole
family as he pays for single drink for
himself
+ AwIDow holding policy on her de-
ceased husband in the Washington, gets
the money herself. 1t cannot be taken for
his debts.
PLEASE, sir, don't think Mr.. Dosim
takes his physic reg'lar," said doctor 8
b y to his employer. "Why SOP"
Cause Wy, he's getting veil 80 precious
fast"
THE cat that serenaded literary lady
the other night has not been able to be
out since; and the lady is minus one
boot, one t1ower7pO patent rinkstand,
and new chtgnon. ~
A BALTIMORE paper says that young
lady was recently discharged from one of
the largest pickle factories in that city,
because she was so sweet that she took
the acid out of all the vinegar.
The author of novel, just out, wish
ing to say that her heroine opened her
mouth, thus expresses herself: "Fhe
pretty coral doorkeepers of her words
gave way, and low mocking laugh ran
out from them"
GLOW did you spend Good Friday-in
modification, as required 2" said one
Frenchman to his friend. "Yes," replied
the latter, with sigh, al remained at
home with my wife the whole day"
THAT was but left. handed recommen-
dation given by Western paper in recon-
mending candidate for office, that during
the war his friend had received wounds
enough to kill any ordinary mule"
IT is said that one United States Sen.
ator congratulated another Senator who
had just concluded one of his great efforts,
thus: :" A great speech-the best speech i
ever heard delivered by man who knew
so little about his subject"
A NRw ORLEANS paper, in speaking OF
thunder storm which lately swept over
that city, says: "Several persons were
struck by the lightning, and in one in.
stance woman was killed. The houses
and vessels, however, did not fare so
we'll"
"How mauy feet long was the snake %
asked person of traveller who had Just
related story of the encounter of boa
killed by him. "One hundred and ninety
two inches, was the reply; Snakes have
no feet"
"MA," said a little boy, "has auntie got
bees in her mouth?" "No, my dear; why
do you ask?" "'Cause Captain Jones
caught hold of her, and said he was going
to take honey from her lips, and she said
"Well, make haste"
The Eyota (Minn) Adcertiser mentions q
farmer who is so particular with the cult
yation of his potato patch that the "potatC
bugs run and hide when they hear him
coming" Possibly other farmers may de.
rive hint from the circumstance.
QUITE OUT OF DATE.-Isabel-"
grandma, dear, she's not bit
pretty, looks very stupid, and hasn't
q shilling. What can he be going
to marry her for?" Grandma
"Well, my dear, you'll think it one
of my old-fashioned notions perhaps
it is for love-"
7 MR. BEECHER tells us of class in his
mission school which was offered ban
ner for good behavior. One youngstei
made some kind of disturbance one Sun.
day before school, when the rest took him
out and punched him till he promised Il
reforml That class got the banner.
A SHREwD Italian courier, who wa:
accompanying his master on his wedding
tour, observed him carrying to the car
ridge bonnet-box belonging to his fail
partner. He stopped him at once anC
said, with empressement, Monsieur will
pardon me, ,but-bonnet- box now hOnnet
box always"
"A BUFFooN at the court of Francis I
complained to the King that great lore
threatened to murder him for utterinl
some joke about him. "If he does" sale
Francis, "he shall be hanged in fiv,
minutes after" 81 wish" replied tn,
complainant, "your majesty would hang
him five minutes before"
A GOOD story is told of young maj
who applied to certain hotel for a situa
ton. The landlord informed him tina
there was but one place vacant, that o
lamp-cleaner. The questioner accepted
the situation, observing that he woulC
like something as remunerative as posi-
BILE, as he was once a clerk, spoke fou
languages fluently, etc. "Ohl that's o
no consequence" said the unappreciativ
landlord; "this business won't requir
you to speak but one language, anC
mighty little of that"
A FlOridian Rip Van Wrinkle.
IN n