The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1870-04-28
FUN, FACT AND TANCY.


Lchdohhds ISL 900 pruptls
Pattern Woven The mIliiners. =
The bottle tr1ck--Ge Getting drank.
Fiat Fatseaood--Lylpg on yOar back.
High words--D -DiaIpgue In balloon.
To remove staipa frOm ehsrurtar--
Get r.eh.-------.-.e-------
fale men sseaesa an thsRlISss.
Economy Is the easy chair Of foid age.
Can yctten With an ili name Is a real
ioss. JJ'i 1EGi ssgl n a5lo
Hs tnst lives upon hope has a slender
Diet. % eia- of+ az sl8aE
The latest parlor game sitting up
Ittakes two TO play i. .7.T n idrie
The Emperor Of China has ordered
plano from New York.
la WHY'S horse the most curious feed
er IL the wofld7 Because he eats best
when he has not a "bit" in his mouth.
Camilla Crso made nearly $4,000 for
the library by her San Francisco Jubi-
lee, und over $1,000 for herself.
cne ofthe professors states that rot
IN sheepR cgnsed BY q worm in the nv--
eF'7 ear r.sa9z ~ 9B' n
Acritio says Of famous singer that
"she sings few airs and puts on great
many" t-'7 e .hew D. -s
Chester, S. c. has apolice force COM
posed Of boys Of sixteen.
Al rough OF Portland boasts that he
has bitten the noses of offive men.
| Mis-Ccnstruetion-sGetting upy .
Young lady in the height ofthe fashion.
Young folks grow most when in love.
! It increases their sighs wonderfully.
An exchange wants the government
to issue stsr1ps for kerosene, inscribed
"PEepare to meet thy God"
The best cure .for dirt is the water
cure. Birch reds make the best baby
jumpers. .7gib sd slf
Ohio produced 1900 hogsheads Of
leaf tobacco, and 1880 hogsheads Of
seed Leaf, last year. 5.Ls
Some lawyers resemble folks who can
SLEEP in any position; |. matters not en-
which side they Lie. 1'F
Put tofrrepcatancct TIL tomorrow, and
you have day more to repent Of and o
T day less to repent in.
A hermit In westchester county, N.
Y, wears a costume Of old boot legs
tied together.
A Baltimore man offered to bet mon
eY he could fill lighted kerosene lamp.
He filed six foot coffin.
Lansingburg, New York, has bread
machine that makes three thousand
loaves per hour. Z 1r.
Persons who have had experience say
that Percheron horses are gentle in tenn
per, powerful in muscle, and that they
thrive with hard work.
| A mortgage has just been recorded in
; Newark, New Jersey, the value ofwhich
is $3,000,000. It soiled the faces of three
thousand dollars worth of revenue
stamps.
An indianapolis grocer has been
married three times and divorced twice
within year, and now he has the same
wife he started with. ii ll
The sheriff of Belmont county was
allowed $500 for executing Carr, II
hanging is not easy it is at least profit
able. 5 JaT sa
tits thought that McFarland's coun-
, sci will be able TO prove that he was
mad ut Richardson on account of Mrs.
McF. Ifso, he will of course be acquit-
ted.
"That's very singular" said young
lady to gentleman who had Just kissed
| her. .'Oh, well, my dear miss" was the
reply, Il will soon make it plural" and
the william did.
: The colored people show their sagaci-
, ty in keeping away from Chief Justice
Chase since his notorious eoqueGting
with the leaders Of the Democratic par
ty.
An old soaker replied to a temperance
lecturer by the following poser: "lf
!. water rots the soles of your boots, what
| effect must it have on the coat OF your
stomach% 20 elf as F
f England has 500 blast furnaces, which
r every year reduce l2,000, 600 tuns Of ore
i. to 4S00,0 900 tuns of metal. and consume
l4,O00,000 tuns of coal The manutac-
turcd metal Is worth about sec, 10000.
Every man should, in every year Of
! his life, make some addition to his cap
ital. You say you get but little. New
r er mind; spend less than little; tie
r next year you will get more, for you
have the profit upon the sum you save.
1 The Legislature of Maine, a. its recent
session, abolished the usury laws in
that State. Under this new law, par
ties can loan and borrow at such rate OF
y interest as they may express IN writing.
Where there Is no agreemenh in
i writing, six per cent. Is the legal iH1sr-
i est.
10 Among the crowd at the New Lon
don prize fight, was an old man peddling
~ tracts. Before the men stripped be wal
J active and wanted every rough to have
u q tract. he kept up his labor Of love
: until the thirtieth round, when he
jumped up on stump and offered Il
IS bet three y one on Billy Edwards
d Sich is life.
The editor ofthe juneau county Ar.
T. gus gets off the following: "a young
lady remarked the other day, while
. watching us finger type tYou are some
IL on the SET We saw the joke; she nad
N her eve on the seat of our pants whicn
bears two large but honorable patches"
a. A wife in Michigan has recovered in
O. court, under the provisions OF the Pro
hibitory Liquor Law Of the State, the
70 money paid by her husband during the
- past six years. TO q saloon-keeper fol
O. fIouor, the ground being that the money
10 was paid without consideration, liquor
lnot being property. ~
= While the ink was yet wet on the
3 presidential pen, altar signing the t!i-
tsepth, Amendment proclamation, . mote
s. was handed him from member OF the
n nress. requesting the gift OF the peen.--
The President at once sent II out oy
messanger and General Dent wrote q
,e note certifying to its identity. Before
n ia owner LEFT shs aate--ocE gen1e-
nan present offered him aeo .cs y