Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1870-05-06
MARRIAGE.

ov it.
But there iz quite too often put-up jobs
in it.
It is ar old institushun, older than the
pyramids, and az phull oy, hyroglypics that
nobody can prase.
History holds les tongue who the pair
waz who first put on the silkeu harness, and
promised to work kind in it, thru thick and
thin, up bin and down, and on the level,
rain or shine, survive or perish, sink or
swill, drown or float.
But whoever they wos, they must have
made good thing Of it, or so ulenny ov
their posterity would not hsv harnessed up
since and drove OUT
Thare is great moral grip to marriage !;
it IL the morter that holds the soshul bricks
together
But there amt but darn few phoIks VINO
put their money in matrimony who could
sit down and givea written opinyon 'sti,i on
artl they com to did it.
This IL CRATE proof that il IL one ov
them natural kind of accidents that hap
pen, jizt az birds fly out oy the nest when
they hay feathers enuf, without being able
tew tell why.
Some marry for buty, and never diskover
their mistake; this is lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't see it,
Sum marry for pedigree, and feel big for
SIX months, and then very sensibly cum tes
the conclusion that pedigree amt nc better
than skim milk.
Some marry behaves they bav bin high
sted sum where else; this is cross match,
a bay and sorrel; pride may make it endu-
rable
Sum marry for love without cent in
their pocket, nor friend in the world. nor
a drop of pedigree This looks desperate,
bit II IS the strength of the game.
Ii marrying for love amt "a success then
matrinony is ded beet
Sum marry because they think win N in
will be scarce next year, and live tew won
der low the crop holds out
Sum marry to get rid of themselves, and
discover that the game was one that two
could play at, and neither win.
Sum marry the second time to get even
and find it gambling game-the more they
put down the less they take up.
Sum marry tew be happy, and not find
ing it, wonder where all the happiness goes
when it dies
Sum marry they can't tell why, and live
they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married aod it is
good joke,
Sum many in haste, and then sit down
and think it carefully over
Sum think it over carefully fust, and then
set down and marry
Both ways are right, if they hit the mark.
Sum marry rakes to convert them. This
IL little risky, and takes a smart mission
airy to do it,
Sum marry coquetts. This is like buying
poor farm heavily mortgaged, and work
ing the balance Of your days to clear off the
mortgages.
Married life haz its chances, ani this IL
just what gives it Its favor Every boldly
luves to phool with the chances, bekauze
every boldly expects to win. But | sm
authorized tew state that everybody don't
win.
But after all, married life IL full az eer-
tain az dry goods bizness.
No man can swear exactly where he viii
fetch up when he touches calico.
Kno man kan tell jist what calico haz
made up its mind to do next.
Calico don't know even herself.
Dry goods ov all kinds IL the child oy cir
cumstansis.
Sum never marry, but this IL just ez ris-
ky; the disease IL the same. with another
name to it.
The man who stands on the banks shiv-
eriug, and dassent, liz more apt tew ketch
cold than him who pitches hiz head fust in
to the river.
ThAra ia bat Eow who marty be-
kause they tooat-they all banker, and most
on them starve with bread before them
(spread on both sides) just for the lack of
grit.
Harry young IL mi motto.
/ hev tried it, and | know what am
talking about.
If emmy boldly asks you why you got mar
ried tif needs be-, tell him you don't reco9-
lekf.
Marriage IL a safe way to gamble-if you
win, yu win a pile, and if you loze, you
don't lose ennything, only the privilege Of
living dismally alone, and soaking your own
feet.
Irepeat it, in italics, marry young
Their IL but one good excuse for a mar
rage late in life, and that iz--a SECOND mar
rtage. Josh Billings.