The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-07-02
The Weather,
BY BEENUS,


The weather has been pretty hot warm
the last two weeks. 1t broiled, fried aud sizzled
things at II fearful rate. The atmosphere danced
and shimmered over the fields like air in q red
hot oven. Leaves On the trees, and blades OF
grass, turned wrong side out, and every creature
shed Precipitation like showers of rain. We saw
gander and his wife enjoying bath IN the ca.
nal. They were chatting away very lively, and
as we passed, said the gander to US, while cooly
Hopping food of lmpid jcanaN water over his
back, Don't you wish you was a goose?" Yes !;
We snvied him. We would have been willing
to be goose, or whole flock of geese just then.
Went on further and saw rooster and his wife,
They were looking very much wllted. trying
to hide out of the sun under the shade of a aim,
dried.up weed. He had his mouth wide open.
He was speechless; the hen had her mouth open
too, but characteristic of her sex, her voice was
still left-she could squawk little.
An injudicious frog was reposing in deep wa.
ter-that is, deep water for the present season.
He had heard other frogs complaining of no rain.
He came up to examine the weather, and hoped
ashore, over bar, where the wat.r was thin.
He locked at the sky counted his fingers to see
how long time had elapsed since the last rain
thea selecting an eligible spot wherein to make
stump speech, jumped up and began to brag
about the weather; when, casting mis- eyes toward
the river, he screamed in alarm his eyes bulged
out from their sockets, so that one might have
knocked them Oft with club, and his hair stood
Oh end. The sun had dried up the water over
the bar a quarter OF mile all around him. He
gave few melancholy, desperate but feeble,
leaps towards the retreating and svaporating
waters, then buried his head in the sand, perpe.
trated few vigorous kicks in the air and died
according to Hoyle."
boy had been sent up town, with tin pail
to get some beans for dinner. The insautious
youngster venturel out into the sun, and tn.
weather soured on him Scarcely had he emery.
ed from the shade before he came to grief. A lit.
tie cloud of smoke arose over him then there
was an odor of something burning, and in few
moments nothing was left of the boy save little
dab of grease, rapidly disappearing, and little
blotch Of melted tin. It was too sunny out 70,
him.
Little pigs have their tails or ears, or the end
OF their noses melted off, just rs the sun happen,
TO hit them.
Dogs go out with brass muzzes on, and come
back in a little while with nothing left Of tn.
muzzle but the strap which held it.
The city marshal is obliged to keep his star un
der cake of ice to keep it from melting.
Careful housewives follow little chickens
around the yard, holding an umbrella over then
to keep the little chicks from Topping oyer.
Rats gnaw shavinys off from cakes of ice t,
make nests Of.
We wish We were in the region of perpetual
ice bear-a polar bear-and We shouldn't car,
how Iear We We're either
As it is, We are doing the best we can. W,
are seated in tub of lemonade, minus our buds
with cake of Ice IN our lap, writing this, aut
our ID is pumping mint jullups on our heat
with an ice cream freezer with u stick in it.
! These are our sentiments respecting tn
weather.