North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1870-01-19

The Undertaker's Wedding. i'''..'. '.
There is melancholy interest" in
little affair that actually occurred not
thousand miles from Boston, q short tim'
ago. A we'll known clergyman received
one morning an imperative summons to bt
in attendance to perform the ceremony
at the residence of an equally well known
undertaken, in the evening. He went ac-
cordingly, supposing, of course. that he
was to accompany the man Of grief to
house of mourning, but was agreeably
disappointed on finding the house lover
the shop) brilliantly lighted and filled
with guests, whom the undertaken pro-
ceeded to introduce as follows "This is
nv intended wife, sir, Miss Grape.
shall marry her tonight, if you'll ofici.
ate''' Certainly" replied the clergyman,
somewhat amused "and these are your
friends to witness the ceremony ?" looking
round at the crowded apartment 80,
yes. you know many of them-allow me
---this is Mr.. Bones, sexton of st. Charles
Church.'' Mr.. Bones rose solemnly, and
heaved a hundred>dollar funeral-sigh as
he bowed to the minister. "Mr. Mould,
sexton of the brick ctapel." Mould, who
had low-cut white vest, large CLASSY
white shirt. bosom and collar, pale face
and snnken eyes, which gave him the APP
pearance Of being '.laid ont" replied to
the clergyman's greeting with the usual
sad shake of the head he had practiced at
funerals for the past twenty years.
y"This," said the host, as the individual
approached on )tiptoe, with downcast
gaze, as if afraid of disturbing the silence
lot grief f-stricken family sitting in the
front parlor at funeral ''this is Mr..
Black, the undertaken; believe you've
met before" Black bowed, and inclined
his head sideways, as if he expected the
minister to whisper some directions to bim
before proceeding with the service. "Al.
low me to make you acquainted with Mr..
Stone, the sculptor Stone griped the
minister's hand as lie would mallet; he
was proprietor of Stones Monumental
Works. Then followed introductions to
the superintendents of two cemeteries, "A
plate. engraver, and others more or less
connected with the grim business of the
host, who, after finishing the introduction,
announced himself ready for the marriage
ceremony. "You don't mird standing
here and using this black. walnut table,
do your" said the bridegroom sit was
too heavy to move, besides it's full of
shrouds and caps that we don't want to
tumble up" The minister acquiesced
and the twain were duly united, after
which, cake, wine and conversation per-
vaded the company. The clergyman con-
graduated the bridegroom upon his bride.
EYES," replied the happy man, "she's
been my housekeeper some time-nice
woman-ain't at all afraid of dead folks
"Ah, indeed" said the clergyman, getting
little chilly down along his backbone in
spite of himself, and wishing to change
the subject, he remarked: "Any news
to-day, Mr.. Tressells "News, no
that is, yes You remember Merker.
who jumped overheard and drowned
himself frem ferry boat last week r
"Indeedi" .'Yes! We've got him w
stairs, if you'd like to see him " Not
knowing what might come next, the cler
gyman thought best to take his departure,
which he did with grave demeanor suit
ed to the occasion.