Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1870-12-21
Warren, Ohio, December 21, 1870.

kind place i'm their wives and this
tolerance of her flirting manner
which. he takes to be manner only,
with no evil in it, and with which,
though he may not especially like It,
he does not interfere-seems to her in
difference rather than tolerance. Yet
the confidence implied in this for
bearance is in point Of fact a cOmpli-
ment worth all the petits SOins ever
invented, though this hearty faith is
Just the thing which annOys her, and
which she stigmatizes as neglect II
she were to go far enough she would
find out her mistake. But by Jhat
time she would have gone too far 10
profit BY her experience.
Nothing is more annoying than
that display of affection which some
husbands and wives show to each 9TH
er in society. That familiarity OF
touch, those halfcOneealed caresses,
those absurd names, that prOdigality
of endearing epithets, that devoted
attention which they haunt in the
face Of the public as a kind OF ehal-
lenge TO the world at large to come
and admire their happiness, Is always
noticed and laughed at; and some
times more than laughed at. Yet to
some women this parade of love is
the very essence OF married happi-
ness, and part OF their dearest pTivi-
leges. They believe themselves ad-
mired and envied, when they are rid
iculed and scOffed at; and they think
their husbands are models for other
men to copy, when they are taken for
all to avoid. Men who have any real
manliness, however, do not give in to
this kind OF thing though there are
some, as effeminate and gushing as
women themselves, who like this
sloppy effusiveness OF love, and carry
it on into quite old age, fondling the
ancient grandmother with gray hair
as lavishly as they had fondled the
youthful bride, and seeing no want Of
harmony in calling a withered old
dame of sixty and upward by the pet
names by which they had called her
when she was a slip of girl Of IS
The continuance Of love from youth
to old age is very lovely, very cheer.
ing; but even "JOhn Anderson my
Jon would lose its pathOs if Mrs. An
derson had ignored the difference be-
tween the raven locks and the snowy
brow. This public display Of familiar
affection is never seen among men
who pride themselves on making
good lovers; as certain men dO-thOse
who have reduced the practice Of love
making to an art, a science, and
know their lesson to a letter. These
men are delightful to women, who
like nothing so much as being made
love to, as well after marriage as be-
fore; but men who take matters quiz
etly, and rely on the good sense Of
their wives to take matters quietly too,
sail round these scientific adOrers for
both depth and manliness. And If
women knew their best interests they
would care more for the trust than
the science.
WOMEN ARE FOND OF PETTING.
All that excess of fattering and
petting Of which women are 50 fond
becomes a bore to a man il required
as part of the daily habit of life. Out
in the world a. he is, harrassed by
anxieties of which she knows moth
ing, home Is emphatically his place Of
rest, where his wife is his friend who
knows his mind, where he may be
himself without the fear Of offending,
ard relax the strain that must be kept
up out of doors; where he may feel
himself safe, understood and at ease.
And some women, and these by no
means the cOldest or the least loving,
are wise enough to understand this
need Of rest in the mans harder life,
and, accepting the quiet Of security as
a part Of the conditions of marriage,
content themselves with the undem-
OnstTative love into which the fever OF
passion has subsided. Others fret
over it, and make themselves and
their husbands wretched because they
can not believe in that which is not
forever paraded before their eyes. Yet
what kind Of home is it for the man if
he has to walk as if on egg shells, ev-
cry moment afraid of wOunding the
susceptibilities of a woman who will
take nothing on trust, snd who has to
be continually assured that he still
loves her before she will believe that
to-day is as yesterday. OF one thing
she may be certain: no wife who un-
derstands what is the best kind of
marriage demands these continued
attentions, which, voluntary offerings
of the lover, become enforced tribute
from the husband. She knows that
as a wife, whom it is not necessary to
court or fiatter, she has a nObler place
than that which is expressed by the
attentions paid to a mistress. Wife
hood, like all assured conditions, does
not need to be buttressed up; but
less certain position must be support
ed from the outside, and an insecure
an uncertain holding,
must be perpetually strengthened and
reassured. Women who can not live
happily without being made love to
are more like mistresses than wives,
and come but badly of in the great
of life and the cruel hand
ling of time. Placing all their happi-
ness in things which can not continue,
they let slip that which lies in their
hands, and in their desire 70 retain
the romantic position Of lovers lose
the security OF wives. Perhaps, if
they had higher aims in life than
those with which they make shift to
satisfy themselves, they would not let
themselves sink to the level of this
folly, and would understand better
than they do now the worth of reali-
ties as eOntrasted with appearances.-
And yet we can not but pity the poor,
weak, craving souls who long so pitt
fully for the freshness Of the morning
to continue far into the day and eve
ming, who cling so tenaciously to the
ieetng romance of youth. They are
taken by the glitter Of things-lOve
making among the rest; and the man
who is showiest in his affection, who
can express it with most color, and
paint it, so to speak, with the minutest
touches, is the man whose love seems
10 them the most trustworthy and the
most intense. They often make the
of cOnfOunding this show
with the substance, of trusting TO pic
tOrial expression rather than to solid
facts. And they often make the mis-
AXE of cloying their husbands with
personal half childish caresses which |
we're all very well in the early days, |
out which becomes tiresOme as time I
gOes on and the gravity Of life deep !
Ems. And then, when the man either I
luietly keeps them Off or more !
1rusquely repels them, they are hurt |
and miserable, and think the whole .
of their lives is dead, and all |
hat makes marriage beautiful at an
md. What is to be done to balance .
.hings evenly in this unequal world 4
If sex? What, indeed, is to be done
It any time to reconcile strength with
and to give each its due ?
)ne thing at least is sure. The more
women learn the true ma