The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1870-12-03
A Sensible Corpse.

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A Sensible Corpse.
A HEMINIscENcE OF raE BACK sITTL.-
MENr.
Now that corpse (said the undertaker,
patting the folded hands Of deceased ap-
provingly) was brick--every way you
took him he was brick. He was so real
accommodating, and so modest-like and
simple in his last moments. Friends
wanted metallic understanding else
would do, / couldn't get it. There
warns going to be tims-anyb could
see that. Corpse said never mind, shake
him mp SOME kind Of box he could
stretch out in comfortably, he warn't par
ticular about the general style of il. Said
he went more on room than style. any
way, in last fnnl container. Friends
wanted silver door plate on the coffin,
sgnifying who he was and where he was
from. Now you know fellow couldn't
roust out such gaily thing in little
country town like this What did the
corpse say2 Corpse said, whitswash his
old canoe and dob his address and gener-
al destination onto it with backing
brush and a stencil-piate, long with q
verse from some likely hymn or other,
and pint him for the tomb, and mark him
G. o. D., and just let him skip along. He
warn't distressed any more than you be,
on the contrary just as earn and collec-
ted as hearse horse; said he judged
that wher' he was going to, body would
find it considerable better to attract atten-
ton by picturesque moral character
than q natty burial case With a
swell door-platc on it. Splendid man, he
IVES. I'd d-uther do for corpse like
that n any I've tackled in seven year.
There's some satisfaction in buryin' man
like that You feel that what you're do
ing is appreciated. Lord bless you, SOS
he got planted before he spilled, he was
perfectly satisfied said bis relations
meant we'll, perfectly we'll, but all them
preparations was bound to delay the thing
more or less, and he didn't wish to be
kept layin' around. You never see such
clear head as what lie had--and SO earm
and SO cool. Just hank Of brains-that
is what he was. Perfectly awful. Itwas
a ripping distance from one end of that
man 5 head 10 t'othcr. Often and over
again he's had the brain fever a raging
in one place, and the rest of the pile
didn't know anything about it-didn't
affect it any more than an Iujun insurrcc-
tion in Arizona effects the Atlantic
States. Well, the relations they wanted
big funeral, but corpse said he was
down on fummery-didn't want any pro-
cession-fill the hcarsc full Of mourners
and get out stern line and tow him be-
hind. He was the most down on style
of any remains / ever struck. A beauti-
full, simple>minded creature-it was what
he was, you can depend upon that. He
lc,- ~, h.
wanted them, aud he took solid comfort
in laying his little plans. He had me
measure him and take a whole raft Of
directions then he had a minister stand
w behind lcng box with table cloth
over it and read his funeral sermon, saying
'.Angcorc, angcore !" at the good places.
and making him scratch out every bit of
brag about him. and the hafalutin and
then he made them trot out the choir SOS
he could help them pick outthe tunes for
the occasion, aud he got them to sing Pop
Goes the Weasel" because he'd always
| liked that tune when he was downhearted,
and solemn music made him sad ; and
when they sung that with tears In their
eyes, because they all loved him), and
his relations er.ving around, he just laid
there as happy as bug, and trying to
much he enjoyed it; and presently he
got worked up and excited, and tried, TO
join in, for mind you be was pretty
proud of his abilities in the singing line;
but tho first time he opened his mouth
and was just going to spread himself, his
breath took walk. / never see man
snuffed out so sudden. Ah, 1t was .
great loss--it was powful loss to this
poor little town. Well, well, we'll,
hain't got time to be palaveiing along
here, and If you'll just give me lift we'll
skect him into this hcarsc and meander
along. Relations bound to have it So
don't pay no attention TO dyilg injuno-
tions, minute corpse gone; but If
had my way, if didn't respect his last
wishes and tow him behind the hearse,
I'll be cuss'd. consider whatever =
corpse wants done for his comfort 10
little enough matter. and = man hain't
got no right to deceive him or take the
advantage of him-and whatever q
corpse trusts me TO do, I'm going TO do,
you know, even If it's to stuff him and
paint him yullcr and keep him for
keepsake-you hear me !"
He crackcd his whip and went lumber
ing away with his ancient ruin OF
hearsc, and l continued my walk with
valuable lesson learned-that healthy
and wholesome chccrfulness 10 not ncces'
sarily impossible to any occupation. Ine
lesson is likely. to be lasting, for II w'h
take many months to obliterate the mem
ory of the remarks and circumstances
that impressed il.
Gov. Salomon, of Washington tcrrieory
is accomplishing great things 70 Dr,ns'hs
;mm;prants 10 this coast Already pc
has induced several large parties to
come. ana now the Olyn'Psa 1rscsne