The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1870-06-17
PROPOSALS AND REFUSALS.
tFrom John Bull !

"Monsinr," said q courtIy French
man when demanding tho hand of u
iair young lady in marriage from her
1thcr. "Je dcmando Madamsicllc votrc
nile: 81 ellie n dc pargcnt, c'cst bicn !;
81 ellie men pas, c'cst toujours Ma
dcmoiscllc votrc file que ic vous de-
mande.' This was a proposal of the
old school, of that "haut ocolo" Oo uso
circus phrase) which seems to Lc
completes y on the ware. Proposals
| IN these days arc not generally based
on such unsclfsh principles, or ex-
pressed in such .higlr-brcd language.
The thought Of the proposcr too often
is, how much tho lady will receive as
ia marriage portion, and whether the
family will be an advantagcos ono to
be connected with; while the object
| OF the proposal on her part will spec
ulatc on the prospects Of tho gentle
man, and consider whether, III the
event Of Il richer suitcr coming for
ward; she could find q loopholc for
diminishing the accepted one. How
ever, where there is real love, based
| upon mutual esteem, be the couplcs
young, old or middlc-aged, the ''sct,lc-
mcnts' arc not the one primary CON
sidcration in the ideas Of the bctroth
cd. ~ young and yet mcrccnary cn-
! gagged couple is truly 4 terrible thing
to see; but some allowance must be
made for the Indirect influences
brought to bear on the occasion by cs-
scntlaliy worldly parents and guar
dams. "Foults como thick where
love lies thin;" therefore, the less ar
dent the mutual devotion, the more
numerous the SO called "hitchcs"
which SO often occur in the attempts
TO arrange Il morioye de conrsnance.
AS people advance in. years and still
contemplate ma:rimony, there is gcn-
orally one who is eager for an cs,ab-
lishmcnt or marriage ut any price
this being Of course the lady; willie
the gentleman is not SO anxious to be
settled, unless he sees that censidcra-
bic advantages would accrue from it,
tending to his personal comfort or
convenience. Proposals arc not so
frequently received by ladies after tho
sober age of thirty, and arc, there
fore, moro eagerly graspcd. A long
engagement is at that timo out of the
question, as ladies and gentlemen, VIC
presume, are of IN age to know their
own minds. But when man pro-
poses to q woman over forty (if ladies
ever do attain that venerable are, he
has generally y well calculated not so
mnch her personal charms as those of
her personally. The soliliquics of
such man over his cigar are in gen
cral much the same as the reflections
OF MI. Alfred Jingle, after escaping,
under pretcNt Of getting the license,
from the bony carcsscs of tho Spin
stcr. Aunt. These thoughts found
vent in three words-"Rum old gall"
We heard tho other day of q Gu
rious refusal to an offer Of merriage.
A gallant captain proposed to q: young
lady when playing game OF besique.
Although she had no intention Of &C.
ccpting him, her grin, substituted
Tor the monosyllablc-No; thus con-
tradicting the provcrb that "Silence
gives consent" The captain, in short
had to grin and bear it; and but for
the condolences of tho lady to IN in
discreet married friend of her ac-
quaintance, this little story would me-
YER have been known. We cannot
say that the lady in her refusal emu
lated the manners of the French
! courtier whose manner Of demanding
young lady in marriage we men ton
cd at the commencement of this cs-
say; but she certainly was no wastcr
Of words-a grand quality in wo-
man. "
A proposal from a nan who is not
only mcrcenary, but ,pcnniicss, sug-
gests much that is egotistical in his
character, and one would not argue
much for the future happiness of the
lady should she accept him. Such q
man stops at nothing that panders to
his own convenience, and pauses not
to consider whether he can offor her
home and comforts in any sort of
proportion to what she has been &C
customed to in her parents house,
and has the vanity to- think that his
charms alone are sufficient to dispense
with the trivial matter Of q balance
at his bankers. Supposing her to be
on only daughter, or the last unmar-
rled one,l and no sons in the way, he
may think her home a convenient nj
Ell terre. Properly interpreted, this
would mean that he is to be master of
the situation, keep all the other mem
bers OF tho family at respectful dis.
tance, and rule over the ei-devopt MAG
tor and, mistress of the establishment,
playfnlly calling the "Old Birds. u
Let these antiquated fowls remember
that, caves .fetus adustos sue ipso.
rum fdue@ pcrmittunt," and pause ere
they resign the authority of their
own home to the guardianship Of such
a man. There is something mean.
spirited ia % man not wishing to make
a. home for the woman whom he has
asked to be. his wife, and hio must be
greatly wanting in 'iselfrespeot who
can submit to:6e entirely dependent
on anothers bounty. ;! .sg'at4 ~ sia e. !,
There are cases -in. which, people
propose without the very smallest en-.
couragement, their vanity SO binding
them thattbey believe they can viii,
without: tho, trouble sof ,wooing; bat
the faint-hesrted class, eyen under en-
Iconragehen procrastinate and shilly.
sha1ly until the opportnnityi they
fhave Tong wished nrahass tpasssd
faway, -Ana thsys have. the mortifceeioin
of Eeeipne the uSrfx 70 fhorIe b.d lo.,ss S,.X,i