The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-11-24
M WATCH.
An InslP0edive Little Tale.
Marx Twain, in the Galaxy.l

months without losing or gaining, and with
out breaking any part of lis machinery or
stopping. Ihad come to believe it infallible
in its judgment about the tiEle of day, and to
consider its constitution and its anatomy I'M
perishablc. But at last, one night, let it
run down. grieved about it as if it were a
recognized messenger and fOrerunner of "a
amity But by and BY cheered up, set the
watch by guess, and commanded my bodings
and superstitiOns to depart. Next day, |
stepped into the chief jeweler's to set it by the
exact time, and the head of the establishment
took it out OF my hand and proceeded to set
it 70, me. Then he said, "she is four min
utes slow-regulator wants pushing up" /
tried to stop him-tried to make him under
stand that the watch kept perfect time. But
no; all this human cabbage could see was
that the watch was four minutes slow, and
the regulator must be pushed up little;
and 40, while danced around him in an
cuish, and beseeched him to .let the watch
alone, he calmly and cruelty did the shame
full deed. My watch began to gain. 1t
gained faster and faster day by day. With
in the week it sickened to a raging fever,
and its pulse went up to $50 in the shade.
At the end of the month it had left all the
IT,
. fraction over thirteen days ahead of the
almanac. 1t was away in November
enjoying the snow, while the October leaves
were still turning. 1t hurried up house.
rent, bills payable, and such things, in such
ruinous way that could not abide il. l
took it to the matchmaker to be regulated. |
He asked me if had ever had it repaired. !
said no, it had never needed any repair |
ing. He looked . look of vicious happi- |
ness, and eagerly pried the watch open,
then put . small dice-box into his eye and
peered into its machinery. He said it |
wanted cleaning and oiling, besides regula-
ting-come in week. After being cleaned
and oiled and regulated, my watch slowed
down to that degree that it licked like a toll
ing bell. began to be Left by trains, and
failed all appointments; got to missing my
dinner; my watch strung out three days
grace to four, and let me 60 to protest; l
gradually drifted back into yesterday, then
day before, then last week, and by and by
the comprehension came upon me that all
solitary and alone was lingering along in a
week before last, and the world was out Of
sight. seemed to detect in myself sort of
sneaking fellow feeling for the mummy in
the museum, and a desire to swap news with
him. went to a matchmaker again. He
took the watch all to pieces while waited.
and then said the barrel was ''swelled."
He said he could reduce it in three days,
Alter this, the watch areraged we'll, but
nothipe more For half day it would 80
like thDvery mischief, and keep up such q
barking and wheeling, and whoOping and
sneezing and snorting, that could not hear
myself think for the disturbance; and a. long
As II held out, there was not a watch in the
land that stood any chance against it. But |
the rest Of the day il would keep on slowing
down and fooling along until all the clocks
it had left behind caught up again. So at
last at the end of the twenty-four hours, it
would trot up to the judges stand all right
and just on time. 1t would show fair and
square average, and no man could say it had
done more or les than its duty. But a cor
rect average is only mild virtue in watch,
and took this instrument to another watch
maker, He said the kingbolt was broken.
| said / was glad it was nothing more serious.
To tell the plain truth, ] had no idea what
The kingbolt was, but did not choose to ap-
pear ignorant to q stranger. He repaired
he kingbolr, bat what the watch gained in
,oe way it lost in another. II would run
while and then stop awhile. and then nm
while again, and 20 on, using its own dis
:retion about the intervals. And every time
{ went off it kicked back like a muskef. III
padded my breast for . few days, but finally
ook nv watch to smother matchmaker He
picked il all to pieces and turned the ruin
,ver and over under his glass; and then he
aid there appeared to be something the mat
er With the hair trigger. He fixed il and
ave it . fresh start. 1t did we'll now, except
hat always 1t ten minutes to ten the hands
would shut together like . pair Of scissors,
nd from that time forth they would travel
ogether The Oldest man in the world
oulA not make head or tail Of the time of I
by BY such watch, and 20 ! vent again
o have the thing repaired. This person
aid that the crystal had got bent, and that
be mainspring was not straight. He also
emarked that part of the works needed half
cling. He made these things all right, and
hen my timepeace performed unexceptiona-
~, ave that now and then, after working
long quietly for nearly eight hours, every
hing inside would let 20 all of sudden and q
esin to buzz like bee, and the hands would 8
lraightWay begin to spin round and round c
o fast that their individuality was Loot COM c
lesely, and they simply seemed a delicate c
pidefis web over the face of the watch. She p
'ould reel of in the next twenty-four hours .
, nix or seven minutes, and then stop with q
hang. I went with heavy heart to one .
,ore matchmaker, and looked on while he b
ok her to pieces. Then ! prepared to 6
,oss-question him rigidly, for this thing &
- getting serious. The watch had cost two
undred dollan originally, and l seemed to Y
ave paid out two or three thousand for re-
ainL While / waited and looked on,
resntly recognissd in this matchmaker m 9,