The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-12-31

Owe may live as o ccRqusror, kind -
n magistrate but be must die as q manE
no discounton that.
JOSH BILLMGs says: GA man who DARTS
on the day Of his marriage rs 6rst heuteuant
in his family, need never expect to be pro-
noted"
VeLAGE. who 10 single man, ID gensr-
ally considered honest, but says there are
times when his fingers have itched to nook
dress. 4t
San Lord John Russell TO Hume ut q
social dinner, s4What do you consider the
object Of Legislation Y" "The greatest
good to the greatest numbef." What do
eou cossiaer the greatest number 7" con
8inasd bic iepdship. "Number snes" was
the commoner's reply.
JOSH BILLlNas says that lone Of the
hardest things for emmy man 10 do is 1sw
FfaiI down on the ice when il ID wet, and
thes git Up and praze the Lord.
Ara recent eKamination Of one Of the
scbools. n Washington, the question was
pgt W a slaas.of small boys: AWby 10
The Connecticut river % cafiedf" when
bright little urchin put up bis hand. 'DO
you know, James p eyes, ma'am. Be
cause it connects Vermont and New HamP-
shire, and cuts through Massachusetts J"
was the triumphant answer.
"This is nice butter, my boy" said .
country storekeeper to q twelve year ur-
chin, who bad brought a pailful Of that
article to market I'm take all your
mother has to SELL"
81 don't believe she'll sell any more, F"
said the boy 4" cause heard her say she
wouldn't have sold this, only a rat fell into
the cream, so she didn't want to use il her
SELF"
A NEW ticket printing machine which baS
just been patented in England and Prus
sia, prints railway tickets on both sidss,pe
forates them, and numbers them consecu-
lively by one process, and does all this at
the rate Of 200 and 300 minute
ONE Maine editor has sued another
Maine editor for defamation Of character,
and the defense is understood to be that, in
the first place, the plaintiff had no cbarac-
ter to speak Of, and that, even if he bad,
nothing the defendant could say would in
jure anybody.
A DUrcHMAN and an Irshman once
met on a lonely highway. As they met,
each smiled, thinking he knew the other.
Pat, on seeing bis mistake remarked
"Faith, an thought il was you, aud ycu
thought il was me, an it's naythur Of Us "
The Dutchman replied "Yaw dat il dhru;
| am aauder man. and you is not yourself;
we be both some oder podies
SoME soldiers were digging a well, and
when they came to the water the command
ing officer went TO inspect progress "Well
Kelly said be 10 an Irishman at the bot
tom Of the well, $50 you have found the
water at last?' "Ab, Kurnel replied the
other, iii all depends on knowing how the
thing ought to be done. Any other man
but meself would have gone forty feet deep
er without comm to il.
Two gentlemen, Mr.. D. and Mr. L.,
stood candidates for a seat in the Legisla-
ture. They were violently opposed to
each other. By some arti6ce Mr.. ID.
gained the election. When be was return
ing home, much elated with success, he met
a gentleman, an acquaintance Of bis.
"Well, said D., "I have got the election.
L. was nc match for me I'LL tell you how
| flung him; if there happened any Dutch
voters, | could talk Dutch ='th hem, and
there | had the advantage OF Vim II there
were any Frenchmen, could talk French
with them, and there had the advantage
of him. But as to Mr. l. he is a clever,
honest, sensible little fellow" "Yes, SIR"
replied the gentleman, "and there be has
the advantage Of you"