The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1870-10-01
Conservative Meeting in MOrehOusc--'
Funny Scenes, &c.

w
other Democrat once said, mons tabo-
roret. yidiculus mus. The enthusiastic
levotees Of modern patriotic imitation
in this community, moved by 'hlgher
have been sounding on their
piebald trumpet, the conservative,
for months,a continual alarm OF broken
peace, disorder, corruption, anarchy
and confusion generally to the people
Of this parish, to arouse them to the
necessity OF supporting the
peculiar views advocated by that Jour
nal upon the issues OF the day. 1t has
been laboring for Il grand era in histo-
ry. The mode Of reasoning has been:
The conservative" drawing all its
views from exalted Biblical sources,
ought of right to dictate public sentl-
mcnt to Morchouse parish, and by par
ity Of reasoning, the parish to the
State and the State to the United States,
all through the sanity channel OF the
mighty conservative" 10 effect this
end every assembly Of citizens opposed
rabblc, and their proceedings, however
dignitied and conciliator held up to
ridiculc. Their numbers, votes, objects
and acts have been with great Christian
magnlnimity almost uniformly misrep-
resented With mathematical nicetylt
has split all the hairs Of tweedle-dum
and tweedle-dee Conservatism and
ended by appropriating to its own use
the term Conservative Il name Dem
ocratic in origin and in party signitica-
ton and application for years. This
Great Political Mogul and his few
adherents, bringing to bear Il varied
experience in dctunct secret organiza-
tons, have issued from their August
Tripod, to us ignorant barbarians, man
fold secret circulars, signed, sealed and
delivered in due form OF mystery. The
awful climax foretold by these follow
ers of the prophets was to take place
to-day! The sun of ''Conservative
Conservatism, tinged by the beautiful
colorings impaired by the gushing
mers''-thc dusky chiefs Of Monroe and
New Orleans-was to eclipse forever in
one dark night all "the greater and
lesser lights So every pickering star
evcn--of Dcmocrat tic or true Conscrva-
tive faith. The day came. The sun,
with unblushing impudencc, rose as
usual. Nothing unusual could be OBJ
served except that our natire pines
seemed to have an increased certttncy
and our imported oaks-bluck, jacks-
to have IA darker hue. The pec-pceps
PEOPLE came! came in droves! del
egates! delegates, mostly and muchly!
in all-(pause MIR. Editor, a moment.
Think Of the army Of Aerxcs or any
other big crowd you have ever read
about,) in all-27!.! Glorious con-
summation of sublime faith and heroic
struggles The numerous assembly
met under Conservative oak, near
the conservative" ruins, where the
~ n.,fn
said ruins filled the mind with historic
reflections. "Zroja fuu!' The Court
house was. Democracy was! Whiggery
was, Everything was! Conservatism
is! to the tune Of p (OOOOOO) (Mr.
Editor, l put those naughts there to
lend responsibility to the p; without
them, the p looks lonely, as did the
conservatives" sin people" assem-
blcd) The meeting was called to Or
der at II o'clock. No reference was
made to ''dinncr on the ground, most
of the brethren being supplied with
crackers. The programme was not
printed, but we'll published. l append
it for the benefit Of your numerous
readers:
PROGRAMME.
l. Eating of crackers suspended. and col
orcd brethren loudly v"ciicrttc for Buck
2 The Conservative" gives the assembly
DcrniSSiOn to deliberate.
3. tolored brethren we'll dlsclillucd) Norlf-
crate for Buckingham.
i. Resolutions -cmbodyng the 10 Com
ln;,ndments and Nupolcnn's letter to King,
William at Sedan, and - OF Watts ESQ
lccted) Psalms.
> Colorcd brethren (wcll i'll hand Nociferat"
for buckingham.
g. \ bottle of prtI,uycd glue attempted to he
spread over some OF the Democrats, i'll
Guiding Col. Hoffman.
T. ('olorcd brethren (r:,thcr weak No'lferatC
for Buckingham.
g. Committee appointed to wait on Col.
Holman to see il he endorsed mo rrS"iI-
tons Col. H. endorsed all but the -
Psalms.
g. Culorcd brethren (still in hand vocifertte
TO- An excellent gentleman nominated for
Representative: he is compelled t" decline
in am able address.
II. Grand chOruS-'' buckingham, ny col
nrcd brethren.
II. kAnothcr worthy gentleman shown that
lie stands no chance for II nomination.
b. Nociirration ends Buckingham noni-
mated. colorrd brethren resume their
crackers with peaceful quiet and calm sat
i~faction.
The will of the Conservative has
been accomplished. The execution OF
the programme went off with great
eclat. The motion Of the ''Conscrva-
tive to squat, when each vote was
taken, added greatly to the thcatrlca
effect. 1t disclosed Il beautiful blend
ing of parliamentary and military tao
tics, as original and isolated as the po-
litical ethics Of the party that adopted
them.
l close this review of Il meeting tina,
should never have occurred, Gas 1t was
calcula ted to divide community where
there is really no division) by. saying
that CONSERVATIVE Conservatism has
r., 81 n n