The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1870-06-11

JOSH BILLINGs, in his quaint hu-
NOR, hits a great many truths on
the head, and among his latest say
ings are the following:
If you want tew git . sure crop
and big yield for the seed, SOW
wild oats.
When feller gifts going down
hill, it duz seem as tho everything
had been creased for the okashun.
1t is dreadfully easy to be q
phool-a man can be one and not
know it.
Real happiness don't consist so
much in what q man don't hav az
it duz in what he don't want.
Large bodies move slo. This
ere proverb don't spply to lies,
for the bigger they are the faster
tina go.
Marrien for love may be little
risky, but it is 50 honest that God
kant help but smile on it.
Thar ar a great multitude of in
dividuals who are like blind mules,
anxious enuff to kick, but can't tell
where.
BRIGHAM YOUNG. even with the
number Of wives he has, is not
afraid. He has challenged DR..
Newman, Of Washington, to deliv-
er sermon against polygamy in
the Mormon Temple at Salt Lake
City, and promises him an atten-
tive and orderly congregation. Mr..
Newman has accepted, and will go
there in August. The whole need
not a physician, and why should
he preach against polygamy in
Washington, where there are no
polygamists, when he can go to
Salt Lake and catch q whole tenn.
pie full of avowed and naughty
sinners at the first preaching?
A minister who was generally
able to keep his congregation wide
awake, bu: who. on one occasion,
it was sultry summer day, OBJ
served numbers Of them asleep, re-
solved to nip the evil practice in
the bud. So taking good sur
vey OF them before and around him
he exclaimed, saw An advertise~
ment last week for five hundred
sleerers for q railroad. think I
could supply at lesst fifty, and
reco -mend them good andsound.
1t is, perhaps, needless to add that
the supply instantly vanished
An instance o. distinction with
out difference was offered by the
Irishman, who, having feet Of diff
rerent sizes, ordered boots to be
made accordingly. His directions
were obeyed; hut as he tried the
smaller boot on the larger foot, he
exclaimed, Indignantly, confound
the fellow! l ordered him to
make one larger than the other,
and, instead of that he has made
one smaller than the other.
The other day some ladies were
out visiting. There being little
two year old present, one Of the
ladies asked him il he would not
kiss her. He answered, s.No"
"What is the reason you will not
kiss me?'
I'm too little to kiss you; papa
will kiss you. papa kisses all the
big girls
He was permitted to play with
/ his Christmas tree.
FRETTING.-Two gardeners ha
their crops Of peas killed by tt
frost, one of whom, who had fire.
ted greatly and grumbled at his
loss, visiting his neighbor some
time after. was astonished to see
another fine crop growing, and in
CURED how it could be. 'sThese
are what I sowed while you were
frettings" was the reply. "Why.
don't you ever fretf" eyes, bat
I put it off till 1 have repaired the
mischief" "Why, then there's no
need to fret at all" "True; that's
the reason I put it off,"
In their haste to lay up happi-
ness for the future, men forget TO
partake of the enjoyments Of the
present. The pleasures of life.
time are thus lost for the uncer-
tainty Of a few days Of repose in
the end.
The announcement of death in
Massachusetts, paper one day
last week was followed with. "New
York papers please copy. or
such is the kingdom Of heaven"
No woman, even the most intel
lectual, believes herself decidedly
homely. The self.deception is
natural, for there are some most
charming women without q parti.
Gle of beauty.
Ex-Surgeon General Hammond
testified in the Mcfarland case that
eight hours sleep are necessary
to healthy brain In the active
man.
The worst organ-grinder-a hol.
low tooth that PlAys the deuce.