The Sumter watchman. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1855-1881, 1870-05-11
Spice Box.

= Wyoming nurses calm the rising
generation by singing:
= n" *Nico little bnby- don't get in fury,
Cause mamas sone to sit on the jury"
4. IA rich widow wecps with one eye
and laughs with the other.
-Tbe best cure for dirt, the water
cure.
Birch rods make tho best baby>
Jumpers.
The want Of money is the root of
al evil.
-Evcrgrecns-those who don't take
the papers.
IAN improper Misunderstanding
your neighbor's windows.
-"I speak within bounds" as the
: prisoner said to tho jailor..
-"Rents are enormous" as the poor
Z, fellow said when he looked at his coat.
How to put down whiskey-Drink
it.
"A rich man is never ugly in tile
eyes Of . girl.
The prettiest necktie Tor a lady
the arms of her baby.
.-"I'm solcd again." as the old boot
said to the shoemaker.
Ono way Of giving man chance
OF riAing in the world. Knock him
down.
s. -"My dear wife," as tho man sail
when he looked at the last milliner's
bill.
"A crusty old bachelor says he
thinks it is woman, and not her wrongs.
that ought to be redresscd.
=, "A stitch in Time may save nine,
but never seems to be entirely sewn
up.
"A woman in advertising her runa
way husband says: David has scar
on his nose were l scratched it."
|-"I see through it" US the washer.
woman said whcu the bottom OF the tub
fell out.
= What class ought never to die with
consumption? Merchants with strong
iron chests.
"A sharp washerwoman in Omaha
tears shirt in two, aul then charges
for the extra piece.
1t has been asccrtained that the
man "who held on to the last" was
shoemaker.
The woman who neglcots the but.
tons on her husbands shirt front il not
tho wife Of his bosom.
-"This is what call capital punish.
ment," as the boy said when his mother
shut him into the closet among the pre-.
serves.
The railing of cross woman IS like
the railing Of garden, it keeps people
at distance.
-Alluding to cbignons, Mrs. Clever
said, "a girl now seems all head"
: Eyes, till you talk to her" replied Mr..
Clever.
Why is lawyer like sawyer
Because. whichever way he moves down
must come the dust.
Almost every young lady is public
spirited enough to have her fathers
house used as court. house.
An architect proposes to build
Bachelors Hall" which will offer IRON
most houses in having no Ewes.
How to Nuke a Real Cowslip in
Winter--Grcase a cows houfs, and
place her on the leo.
Railways arc aristocrats. They
teach every man to know his own sta
tion, and to stop there.
"A nogress in North Carolina says
"do carpet. .baggeters is all alike; day all
suck aigs." That "ld nig's head is
mighty nigh level.
~ Mamma, isn't Mr.. What's. his name
, bully Loy?" What curious question,
my son. Why do you ask z" "'Causc he's
got glass cyc."
The ITorry Mcms says that White
more regrets deeply that he was not born
a g'rl, so that lie might not be, as lie
now is, "thc Father Of Lies"
u. -tiu'band-"I am surprised my
dear that I have never seen YOU blush"
:. Wife--The truth is my dear, was
born to blush unsecn."
!. Why cannot deaf man be legally
condemned for murder Because tile
law says man cannot be condemned
without hearing
y a Boston paper mentions an ind
vidnal there who clasps l.is bands so
fervently in prayer that he can't get
them open when tho contribution box is
passed rouud.
"A friend the other day, called
thin young lady spare girl. There ave
sSsvcral spare girls 10 most largo un.
tbarricd familios.