The Placer herald., 1870-07-30

Inusnt Ret drunk via tnen, slape wiz tnem,
and go wild them to the plains, and report
till me that they are going to do Especi-
ally make it point to pump the squaws as
to that they think of the people they met in
Washington. Let the noble red men do
that they will wild you, and if you still live
your reward shall be great. Red Cloud is
an honor to his sex, and as soon as he knows
you as | do, he will do anything to make
you happy. drank your health at your
own expense, and will deduct the price of
the imbibation from your salary. Your cous-
in, ULYSSES.
Wv coorse accepted the situation, and
soon found mesef in the thrain going wesht
One car was given up to the Indians and en-
igrants, and the shmell that came till me
nostrils was livery bit equal to Sanitary
Commission funural l introduced meself to
Red Cloud, whin he took me be one hand
and shook it, and with the other he felt of
the hair ontil me head. and said it was "a
heap good didn't know the ominous ma
ming of these simple words of the playful
aboriginese as well then as l do now, and
towld him that me cousin and meself were
firm friends of the red devils of whom he
was chief, and that we would how'd our
selves in readiness at all times to accept any
little testimonial they might see fit to be-
stow upon us. This seemed to plase the
savage, and he playfully exthracted me
watch from me pocket and showed it down
his trousers leg. AT this we all laughed,
but me watch remained fhere it was put, and
does yet can aisly imagine the chagrin
of the poor Indians when his untutored mind
discovers that the watch is oride. There
was no exciting episode until we arrived in
Chicago, from the fact that we tuck in
supply of fishky at Detroit, finch made us
obivious until we arrived in Chicago. AT
this place party of gintleman come on board
to recave us. They said that the Common
Council of Chicago had appointed them a
committee to show us all the attention posi-
Bile, but in the frsht place it would be ncces-
sary to search us to see that we had no re-
volvors and schalping knives. We submit
ted to this, all except meself, | towld thin
that me position of Assistant President of
the United States should relave me from ony
such impertinence, but they insishted that it
was custom in Chicago that everybody ar
allow me TO say, more honored in the breech-
es' pocket than in the observance" as they
say in Hamlet's ghost. However, we let
them 60 through us, and afther we had gone
Wesht we found the committee that exam
ed us were nothing but pickpockets, and
didn't lave us hardly enough money to min
ton However, arrived iii Omaha, where
had expected to lave me friends, the sava
ges. Red Cloud msishtcd that should get
on horse and go out on the plains short
dishtance wild them, and rather than have
ony hard feelings | did 50. Fhen l got
ready to part with the party and return to
Omaha, he said he wanted some trophy to
remember me by, and before knew it he
had jumped from his horse, knocked me
down with Thomas hawk, and tuck the
whole top of me head off with knife me
cousin had given him. He said he was
bound to have peace with the finite people, if
he had to fight for it, and waving me au-
burn locks in the air, he put sphurs to the
horse the Government gave him, and mean
dered across the plains for his home at the
setting sun. bound me head up with a bit
of buckskin, and returned to Omaha, where
| am now thrying to make George Francis
Thrain believe that it is his duty to the Fe-
nian cause to sind me home at his expinse.
Yer peeled-headed friend,
TERRENCE MIGRANT.
P. S.-Whin | arrive in New York
shall open an exhibition of the place where
me hair was, at tin cents head. BE jabers
| haven't hair enough left to make wather-
fall for a child five years old. 7. McG.