Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1870-12-16
GlenninGs.

| tiLllIOu Ill HIS SEOJ SohS ia
= and get twelve emctics for one shilling,
Horse traders in Missouri put little
oil of vitriol on the animals hoofs to
make him show OF his uncomfortable
spirit.
An old farmer said Of minister whose
sermons We're much wanting in point:
"Ah, yes; he's good man, dare say, but
he will rake with the teeth upward"
In Norwich, Conn, they have started
Leather Weddings The extent to
which some people like TO carry fpIlies is
apparently lmitless.
No man can tell whether hc is rich or
poor by turning to his ledger. 1t is the
heart that makes man rich He is rich
or poor according to what lie is not ac-
| cordinS to what he has.
| Mr. J. @. A. White, of West Rochester,
| Vt, owns Il spaniel which he shears as
regularly as sheep and the fleece is s;if
! 1icicnt to keep man and boy in nice,
son, warm stockings through the year
\ young man at Salisbury, Conn, treat
ed the party who sercnaded him ON his
marriage night to decoction Of crotOn
oil and whisky, and was arrested fos the
act next morning.
A San Francisco letter says: There
is not solitary opening III the State Of
California, vast az it is, for another clerk,
book keeper, salesman half educated doe
! tor, mining stock broker or general all
I ycnturcr."
Il say, deacon, lave you hunted down
| that Chap that stole your oyercoat and
umbrella" No, l have not Molestcd
him; he'll fetch up in a world where nei-
| ther ovcrcoat nor umbrella VIII be Of the
least use to him"
A Jcrseyman who had Chinese SER
! want complains that the heather VIII wor-
ship an old brass andiron when the f,nli-
ly gathers for prayers, and the other
morning offered up before it two dead
rats and burned half u JOSS stick.
A good story is told of !. railway sta
ton agent in New Hampshire who, on
being reprinantied for allowing a car to
be SO heavily loaded that it broke down.
replied, Mr.. q, what do You expect
man to know fur SEQ month";
A Milwaukee paper says that '':he s.o.
| ry that an English capitalist is negotia-
ting for the purchase Of the Milwaukee
elevators, arose from the circumstance Of
a gentleman dropping in at i restaurant.
! and asking for ''alf ha dozen holsters"
| Mrs. Agass;z tells Us that in certain
! Amazonian tribes. Willie the wedding fes-
tivilies are going or. the blidcgroom's
hand is tied up IN a paper bag filed with
ti.e ants. If he bears this torture smiling
| Ix-, al I, iS if:I
| the trials of !n;trimouy.
New York has at lcngth resolved to in-
troduce q German course in iier public
schools Measures will he taken to place
supplies ot Swiss cheese and lager within
easy reach OF eacn school house The
course would be pa.pably imperfect with
out them,
The gcatcst joiuer-the lawyer. He
can place ! tenant, enpannel 3 jury, box
a witness, bore the court, clise! {. client,
augur the gains, floor a witness, cut his
board, nail the case, hammer the desk,
iile his biN, and shave whole coniinuni
~.
\ country editor, noticing Ne present
Of cup 10 contemporary. Says: "He
needs no cup. He c..n drink from any
vessel that contains iiQUor, whether the
neck of Il bottle the mouth Of a pickle
Jar, the spike of. keg, or the buug of 4
barrel
Josh Billings abl.ors eats. He SAYS
they viii harvest 4 dozen ov yunc chick
ems for yu. and then steal into the sitting
room az softly AZ an undertaken and iay
| themselves down on the ruS 1T yure fee.
! full ov injured innocence and chicken and
dream ov their Childhood days.
A Dutchman at Decatur married q sec
ond wife in about u week after the loss of
wife No l. The Sabbath following the
bride asked Her lord to take her riding,
and was duly cut NJ" with tie following
response: "You DIM. ride out nit an
oder woman in soon otter dc ticeiL Of
mine f-au: No, no."
Conversation between inquirins stran
ger and steamboat pilot: That is Black
Nountain:" Yes sir; highest mountain
above Lake George" ANY story or IT,
gend connected with thas mouutain?"
Lots of oin. Two lovers went up that
mountain once and never came back
again" Indeed why: what became of
them:" Went down on tie otl.er siden
The wife of manufacturer in an in
land town. whose daughter was about III
be married, sent notes to her friends re-
qucsting that if they intended to make
wedding presents of siiverwarc, they
| would send the money instead, as she WAS
about to visit New York, and would pre-
fer to buy the articles herself for it will
be so nice to have tie things TO match,
you know"
A life prisoner in the Massachusetts
State Prison has been solitary man for
fifteen years. during that time not hear
ing Il tootstep or seeing a human face
save that Of his daily attendant He is
allowed plenty of reading, but that has at
last become unintercsting. OF course lie
will 20 mad. What other refuge for u
mind SO thrown upon itsc,f:
Ole Bull used to relate the follow ing:
He had been Il, Donnvbrook, when he
was attracted by tie sound of Il very loud
violin in Il tent. He entered and said II
the player, My good friend, do YOU play
by notc:' "Divil a note. sir" .Ho You
play by ear, thcn:" Never an ear, your
honor" How DO you play, them" by
main strength, be jahers,"
Anna Dickinson, though .itset!. is !. NO.
man. At Boston. recently. She came
promptly to the front of the platform and
surveyed the audience without speaking,
for several minutes, although a chair had
been provided. She did not sit down.
and one Of the manag gers asked why $40
you suppose said the eloquent little wo-
NAV, THAT was going To sit down in my
Icw d-ose?"
just as II traveller was writing Il S name
on the register of a Leav,nM orth hotel. a
bodbug appeared and took It's way across
the page. The man paused and remark
ed I've been bied by St. Joe fees, bit
ten by Kansas City spiders, and interview
ed by IT, Scott gcayhachS, bGt III be d,-t.
If l WAS ever in place before where the
bcdbuys looked over The hotel register to
find out where your room was'
Two ladies in New York were talking
. about the sparrows and .hcir usefulness
in ridding thc city ofthe cankerwo,n,s,
which used to be such nuisance One
said that the noisy chirring of the spar
9 rows early in the nlornin-, when She
wanted t. sleep, Was rs great an evil as
the worms; The other disagreed. just
then a gentleman came in, and was ap-
\ | aI.,.l ~ n l. .;,,l,