Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-04-01

A WATCH-WORD.-Tlck.
NOISY INFANTRY.-Babes in arms.
A LEGAL NoTIoE.-A lawyers sign.
THE best bread man is a(baker.
AGRICULTURAL INTENDING. - Potato
patches.
NEW NAME For WEAVING BABIES
Bottle imps.
How to get foot.hold.-Take boot
jack.
HUSH MoNEY-The price of the family
cradle.
Prosperity makes friends; adversely
tries them.
A THORN in the bush is worth two in
the hand.
Missouri girls are always sweet-they
are Mo.-lasses.
| How TO CURE A CoLD-First catch
your cold; then proceed as with bacon.
YOUNG folks grow most when in love-
1t increases their signs wonderfully.
THE newest definition of "evergreen "
is Z" a man who does not learn by eXper-
ence"
A GOOD man provides for his children.
A policy in the Washington Life is one
way to do it.
MAKE yourself good man, and then
you may be sure that there is one less ras-
cal in the world.
THE kind of locksmithing that can be
done in the shortest possible tlme-Mak-
ing bolt for the door.
A PORTLAND club has the following
question proposed for discussion: Can
big man ache harder than little man %
If you want policeman it's ten to one
you won't find him; but if you don't want
him, it's hundred to one he ao5I find yom!
THE Washington Life Insurance Com
pany is one of the strongest, safest, most
successful, and best managed corporations
in New York.
FoNTENELLE thus daintily compares
women and clocks: The latter serve to
point out the hours, the former to make us
forget them.
PUNNING.
If were punished
- For every pun shed,
i could not find puny shed -
p 70 hide my punished head. Z ri -
THE word state spelled backward is
etats,. but it is not safe, as regular thing,
to undertake to learn French simply by
NEVER throw stone at any one until
you have looked TO see whether there is a
window behind, or you may have to pay
rather dearly for your revenge.
WHY is lawyer the most ill-used man
in our social systems? Because, though
he may drive his own carriage, he must
draw the conyeyances Of other people.
"WHY did Joseph's brethren put him
in pit ?" asked a Buffalo Sunday-school
teacher. And the reply he got was, "Be-
cause there was no room for him IN the
family circle"
AN afflicted husband was returning
from the funeral of his wife when
friend asked him how he was. Well
said he pathetically, /" | think | feel better
for that little walk"
THE agent for patent coffin says in
his circular: Undertakers who have
used it pronounce it a perfect success, and
we ask you to try it, free of charge, and
Judge for yourself" ADJ MI
NEVER quarrel with your wife, as you
will only have to make it up, and pay for
the reconciliation in the shape of season
ticket at the opera, trip to the springs,
silk dress, or cashmere shawl.
"WELL, Bridget, if 1 engage you,
shall want you to stay at home whenever
wish to go out" SWELL ma'am, have
no objections" said Bridget, "providin'
you do the same when I wish to go out"
AT a teachers institute at the East, re
Gently, lady teacher was given the word
hazardous to spell and define, and did it
in this style: "H-a-z, haz, ard, ard,
e-double-s, ess, hazardess-a female haz-
ard" a
THE proprietor of forge, not remark
able for correctness of language, but who
by honest industry had realized a com
Portable independence, being called on at
social meeting for toast, gave "Suc-
cess to forgery" sa
| How do you like the character Of St.
Paul?" asked person of his landlady
during conversation about the apostles.
"Ah! he was a good old soul, for he once
said, you know, that we must eat what is
set before us, and ask no questions for
conscience sake"
A LITTLE boy in Hudson, N. Y, on re-
turning home from church.. was asked by
his mother to give the text. After a
| Thoughtful pause, the little fellow replied,
II don't hardly remember, but it was
something ebout hawk between two
pigeons" The text was, Why halt We
| between two opinions?"
| "DEFINE the difference in meaning be-