The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-05-15
pg Star and Catholic Messenger.
W.T. AND WISDOM.
I is on author the most peculiar OF
III Because his tail comes out of lis
'kLEANs. SUNDAY. MAY IS. 1870

- Ul 6uCnOr Inc most peculiar OF
al Because his tail comes out of his
man who was hemmed in by crowd
- Bn troubled with q stitch in his side
II NICE.
. lch is the cheapest way Of building a
for q pigf Tie his tail in knot
zH@u have pigstie.
III is a lawyer like person in an I'M
Because he lies first on one
9And then on the other.
NH is like sieve; you may see through
you must be considerably reduced
You can get through it.
can never show itself more rea-
SA1aQM&o than in ceasing to reason about
which are above reason.
l6& first record of sugar planting of
we know, is when Adam and Eve
oxen of as having raised Cain.
Istrionic party, who had heard a good
4 Shout the Theatre of war" suggests
BE, back seats must be very desirable.
You wish to be particularly smart"
IN old lawyer to his son, " marry a
and you will soon be shrevd man."
alderman having grown enormously
bile in Office, a wag wrote on his back,
faened at the expense of the corpora
hen a great American dies, the first
= I done is to resolve to build a mOnu
to his memory, and the second-is not
a hid it.
auctioneer's clerk being directed by
Employer to insert in an advertisement
tescoe by Rafaelle," wrote, ga fresh
y &fby rafle."
Ss;59 Old Dog Tray" is so affectingly played
60me hand organs that troops of pups
a Ia equat before the machine and wipe
re from their eyes with their paws.
4 You should never, madam, consider the
nllest trifle worthless" "Whilst, sir, I
8 5sider your precept and yourself, shall
4 anre to consider nothing worth less"
~ young gentleman speaking of young
nty's fashionable yellowish hair called
Vure gold. cit ought to be-" said
Zeal old bachelor, "it looks like twenty
~ carrots"
MI q Well, Jane, this is queer world" said
1Iee to his wife ga set of women philoso-
ers has just sprung up" "Indeed," said
4ohe, sand what do they hold 2" "The
longest thing in nature" said he, "their
ngue."
"A witness, being questioned by a lawyer
- to the general reputation of another
lkness, and whether the individual was
TT notorious liar. " Well" said he, "not
Eactly that-he is what call an intermit-
1T liar"
$40 You say" said a judge'to witness,
re of circumstantial evidence state ex-
ely what you mean by thatf" "Well,"
Id the Witness, rny exact meaning is
|1aAt he lied.n
IA member of the Wyoming Legislature,
eking to sustain point of order, jerked
- coat off, with, "Mr. Speaker, if some
S1iable man will hold these buds, I'll teach
I'm that he is out of order" The point
pas sustained.
81 How much water do you put in your
milk ~ asked a Pittsfeld man of boy who
delivers milk ON one of the milk routes.
= We don't put any water in it." "What
DO You put in it, then Z" "Ice," was the
fandid reply"
A man with one eye laid wager with |
another person that he (the one-eyed many
saw more than the other. The wager was |
accepted. "You have lost" says the first;
81 can see two eyes in your face and you
can only see one in NINE"
The wife of a Boston man ran away to
Denver about two months ago, and the !
other day telegraphed her husband to send
money for her to come home with. He re-
piled, Don't cut your visit short on my
account" and she is in Denver yet.
At ball in high life young man and
an old gentleman seated near each other
were. ya1Ening 60 that their jawbones were
in danger of disfocation. -yAre you having
q good time r. asked the young fellow.
!" Me NOS at ALL" Let's cat-it,- then. ;"
+" Can't, Pn master of the house, IA
Abiunttspbken, Off hand old gentleman,
one day previous to dinner, arose and de-
livered himself assfollows: !" For what we
are about to receive, may the Lord make
us truly thankful--what, wife, plain hash
again to-day!" 1t was all in the same
breath, and the effect was inexpressibly
luGicrous.
A clergyman desired his clerk to give
notice that there would be no service in
the afternoon, as he was going to officiate
for clerical brother in the vicinity. I'm
after the service the clerk called
out, 81 am desired to give notice that there
will be no service this afternoon, as DR.. B.
Is going a fishing with another clergyman"
The Rev. Charles Churchill, the poet,
and noted in his time as "bruiser," was
once examined as witness in a case be-
fore the Court of Kings Bench. The cross
examining counsel, trying to browbeat
him, said, "You are the bruising parson,
are you not7" "I am, replied Churchill
'tand it you doubt it pll give it under my
baf1d."
Crazy las George III. was said to have
been, there was evidently method in his
madness at times. Speaking to Archbishop
hutton of his large family, he used the ex-
5ression, +" believe your grace has better !
han q dozen 2" "No, SIR" replied the
only eleven" "Well,n re-
oined the king, sis not that better than
lozenf"
A late judge was noted wag. A young {
avr yvas nnco ToaLino hia rat affrrt h. |