Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1870-08-17
DRw.RLICKERs.

y. Z. Willis, If we remember right,
wrote this description Of 4 hot day,
the truth Of which some have had vivid
experiences this season: The pave
ments are all Kissing hot, the sky
above is brazen, and every head as
good as dead the sun can set his rays
on; the lean, lank-looking skeletons
90 stalking pale and gloomy the fat,
like red-hot frying-pans, send hotter
fancies through me. wake from
dreams of Polar ice on which I've
been q slider, like fishes dreaming OF
the sea and waking the spider.
A lady from the country, who has
recently become resident Of the city,
was very much troubled ut her sons
long absence from home the other
evening. A neighbor calling, suggest
cd that the boy had gone to see the
elephant. "Ahw said the mother,
with sigh of relief, "why didn't he
tell me? l have no objection to his
seeing the elephant, and didn't even
know he was in town."
Faith and works were well illustrat-
ed by venturesome siX-year old boy,
who ran into the forest after team
and rode home on the load Of wood.
When asked by his mother if he was
not frightened when the team came
down a very steep hill, he said: "Yes,
little; but | asked the Lord to help
me and hung on like beaver"
On q sultry summer Sunday the min
ister, observing quite number of his
congregation asleep, remarked, in q
most emphatic manner: 81 saw an
advertisement last week for five hum
dred sleepers for n railroad. [ think
I could supply at least fifty, and re-
commend them good and sound"
A sunstruck pig is the latest curios-
ity Of geological kind. An ingen-
ious farmer In Minnesota had porker
afflicted In that way short time age
and restored him to health and hap.
piness by splitting the skin on the top
Of his head and filling up the cash will
salt. Here Is a suggestion for sur.
geons. -..g- ...r...
The census-takers In different parts
of the country are collecting some
very curious information. They find
that the highest age attained by un-
married women Is twenty-siS years.
It is well to have the point at which
they cease growing older definitely
fixed.
Madame Olympic Adouard, in a
speech In France, recently, on the mar
riage question, gave utterance to this
Indiana sentiment: The only thing
which can make of marriage q calm,
happy, and ennobling union instead
of, as 1t Is too often now, an eternal
torture, is-divorce."
Here is an epitaph from Milwaukee
cemetery "Here lies the body oi
Peter Grace, who died from eating
Sweitzer kase he finished six platters,
commenced upon seven, and exploded.
OF such Is the kingdom Of Heaven"
A young man In Harrisburg, who
loves a dentists daughter, has to get q
tooth pulled once week as an excuse
for going to see her, and wants to
know what excuse he'll have when his
remaining four teeth have been ex-
tracted.
"Be you good?" asked a bright
little chap of Miss Bud, his Sabbath
school teacher the other day. 30
no." was the becoming reply. "You
amt? Well, knew you wasn't pretty
but always thought you was good"
A New Yorker, who fell in love
with a beautiful girl last winter, was
cured by visiting her lately and find
ing her face covered with freckles as
big as chocolate drops. Such love Is
only skin deep. -.- -.--.--
A wise physician once said OBJ
serve that every one wishes to 60 to
heaven, but observe also that most
people are willing to take great deal
of very disagreeable medicine first"
\ popular essayist says: perhaps
the great triumph of all moral writ
ings, including sermons, Is that they
have produced some sweet and limo
cent sleep" "a...t5 e...'
What Is the difference between tempt.
alton and eternity? The one Is q vile
Of q devil, and the other Is devil Of q
while.
All efforts to make hay BY
gas light have failed /: but it Is dis
Covered that wild oats can be sown BY
its benign and cheerful rays.
A witty fellow, in speaking of in
disputabie stupidity, said: "'ro be
come perfect brute he wants only in
Stinct."