The Portland daily press., 1870-12-24
THE
TRIALS OF SANTA CLAUS,
A Told by Him seIf.

know am considered jolly old fellow,
with nothing to do but to drive down chin
neys with broad grin on my face ;but have
my trials, like all other saints and sinners. 1t
is not Christmas-eve the whole year round !;
there is before and alter, and if you think l
have jolly times then, you are mistaken. just
now it is the before, that worries me; must
have, before the 25th of December, private
consultations with at least five millions of IA
theirs and mothers, brothers and sisters, I'M
cies and aunts and cousins, TO say nothing of
husbands and wives, lovers and friends; and
this is no trfle l assure you, when you look
at it seriously, as have to.
Take as an example, the Rubbs-about an
average family. There is grandpa and grand
ma kubb TO begin with, and aunt Melinda;
then there is papa and mamma Rubb, and
Minnie and Tom, and Lotte and Harry and
the baby, besides Nora, the nurse, and
Bridget, the cook. 1t is easy enough to man
age the baby and the two four and six year
ODDS; there are candies and dolls, and blocks
and picture books, and jumping-Jacks and
grandpa Rubb and of aunt Melinda! How
can know what will suit an old maid of fiji
ty, who can't have caps, because she dyes her
hair, and don't care for bows or books, nor
pictures, nor portfolios nor sugar plums, nor
pincushions, and who would tie mortally Of
tended if l carried her new dress or shawl,
"as if she was too poor to clothe herselfw Pa
pa Rubo is almost as bad; he's had shaving
paper and slippers and dressing gown and
family Bible and a pen-knile, and portmon
ale, and photograph album,-an [ should
like to know what more you could do for a
man who never reads, and cares nothing for
pictures and pretty things? In fact, men are
trying, both old and young ones; there are
hosts of things 10 give pretty, wide-awake
young girls, but thelmen do bother me every
year most unaccountabiy. And suppose
there are at least fifteen thousand to be look
ed after this very minute! And an easy time
l have of it, forsooth / should like to have
you try it just for one year and see,-that's
all.
Another trouble is, people hurry me So
Half of my customers will n )t do a SINGLE
thing till ten days before am to load up, and
then, how they do drive round, and what hur-
ries and worries and scurries they do get into!
want little time to assert my wares and
get things packed away into my bundle order
ly and comfortably, and though l can move
as swiftly as most people, should be a good
deal more saint-like in my temper and deport-
ment if | was not knocked and hurried about
so on the 23d and 9th of December, every
year.
Again, being a saint, am of high moral
principles. Judge, then, how hang my head
and blush, when some bright-eyed young
girl brings me cigar-case, or brandy-fask,
or pack of cards to take to some young man
whom know-thoueh she doesn't-is on the
very verge of running himself by smoking,
drinking, or gambling? Shall her fair hands
help to push him over the precipce on which
he stands tottering? By law OF my nature,
can never refuse to deliver what is entrusted
to me, but often long to cry out, Forbear!
you know not what you do More than once
have taken case OF genuine Hollands" to
a man breaking down by drink, or box OF
"choice Havanas" to youth whose nerves
were already unstrung by excessive smoking
or set OF costly jewelry to wife whose wo-
manly purity was already soiled, if not de-
stroyed, by too great love of dress. Yes,
even Christmas Gift may bring ruin to some
poor soul
Another terribly trying thing to tender
hearted saint is to be compelled 10 carry loads
anu loads OF things to persons who don't
want lnem-who are rather annoyed than
pieaseu oy their arrival, and to 60 straight by
lnany poor mans door without leaving so
much as single stick of CANDY for the babv.
Last year, carried a solid silver urn TO rich
Mrs. Fuller, who the moment she saw f. turn-
ed up her nose and said: "As if wanted tn
be plagued with the care Of such a th;ns os
that! How hate to be under obligation to
that womanw and in going there had to
pass right by Mary Minturn's door, and She,
poor thing, lying there year in and year Out
with her curved spine, and not single pretty
thing in her room to make it cheerful! If 1
could have only left her some warm fannels,
or even dish OF oranges Yes, merry as
am, and beautiful and holy as is the work l
mostly DO, have many a heart-ache when
go empty-handed by such doors. So much
light and JOY could be carried into sick rooms,
sucn lovely pictures, such refreshing fruits.
such dainty contrivances for ease and COM
Tort If only the money, worse than wasted in
some directions, could be transferred 20 these
ana there Is an after to me, who stand be-
hlnd the scenes. To go back to the Rubbs :
,ass year, we all chuckled over what we re-
salueu as the happiest idea for eraudpa-a
beautiful, eold-heatled. ebony cano ,.1,;ot' 80
presented by the younger members of the
family forming procession, headed NV Tom
ana brought up by baby, tumbipg ronnd nro.
miscuously, yet valianty holdin9 ON 70 t tho
cane by his chubby hands; the old non
smiled and said: "Thankee, thankee', Good.
naturedly enough, and we fanced we had for
once achieved entire success; but as l am |
iivlpg man, and hope nobody doubts that
Ihat ioVely cane has been standing in the |
EARLIEST iarlhest corner of the bedroom closet
from that day to this! After walking out TO
the gate with it, he said to grandma Rubb
~ cont feel natural y and went back again
20 , ms o,d' kno1ty, walnut stick, and grandma
huoos cap, which we all thought so prettv
al a becoming, and which Minnie SAT I'm iii |
midnight TO nnish off, didn't sleej natterar
either; SO she shut it up in a box and carried
It INTO the spare-chamber bureau drawer and
has never looked at it since. Now. when 7
have been at the trouble of finding and car
rying thugs to people, l want thew should he
enjoyed and used, and it hurts nv feelings