The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-08-25
MISCELLANEOUS ETEMss
The Observation-Disclosures.
A MATCH GAMR-Iucendiarism.

heit.
WHAT auctioncers ike to sec-Forbid-
ding c-Ountcnances.
a MAINE man brags Of growing twenty
inches Of beard in two years.
THE way to get q coed wife-Get a
good girl aud go to the parsOn.
WY is a thunder storm like an onion?
Because 1t is peal on peal.
IT is a mistake to suppose the sun is
supported in the sky by its beams.
A HAT belonging TO the first Governor
OF Massachusetts is still preserved.
DIVIDENDS are applied to keep the pol
ICY IL force in the Washington Life, of
New YORK.
No wonder eyes sometimes look plead
ing and sorrowful they sre under the lash
all the time.
Why should Romeo not have cared for
the month Of June? Because it was not
July yet (Jullet).
TIE Charter of the Washington Life
secures all the profits to the insured.
More than this cannot DC done.
A GUEST at a hotel in Leavenworth ate
over a dozen ears of corn at che meal the
day before mis- funeral.
A CUTE American naturalist has OBJ
served hat the bee as it flies from the
hive Is, oddly enough, going to hum.
AN old farmer's description of a point
less preacher was: "a good man, likely !;
but ne will rake with the teeth up"
IT is a fact that a statue ~diminishes in
size when exposed TO a shower of rain !;
it instantly becomes a statue-wet.
r. YOUNG man recently married in BE
lott, Wis, helped his wife, while counting,
TO sew together Z G enough to make 60
yards of carpet.
FoLLY-To think you can make pork
out Of p g-iron, or that you can become a
shoemaker by drinking sherry cobblers.
4 MAN in Iowa City, IN drawing his
check 10 pay q railroad bond tax, made it
payable TO highway robbers or bearer"
ONE pound Of coal in the hands of a
gO0d chemist Car by its consumption be
made to evaporate, Or convert into steam,
fourteen pounds of water.
A New ENGLAND old maid, who re-
Gently went to Nevada, writes home that
she already has "a husband and a pair OF
twins, and hasn't really got acquainted
there yet"
DISEASE and pills, when they enter a
mans body, are like two lawyers when
they undertake to settle his affairs; they
compromise the matter by laying out the
patent.
A WOMAN lately carried a child to 8
London h0spital--a child in q nearly dy.
ing state-and the doctor elected from
her that she had been administering spi
ders to it asa cure for whooping-cough.
A DELAWARE man, who went to Cali
%fornis, last year, and purchased SIS
worth CT stock IN a gold mine, has recent
~ been Offered $40 coo for his claim.
THERE are 27,177 bath houses attached
to private dwellings, in Philadelphia, snd
the paved streets Of that city, if al placed
in one line, would reech to the extent Of
AIS miles.
cutiI0 Inouniu 10 tUur hundred dollars "a
year, and he has a family to support. OF
this sum he gave thirty-four dollars, last
year, for charitable purposes.
a JOKER in San Antonio, Texas, paint
ed and disguised himself as an Indian.
went 20 his own home, scared his wife
INTO q fit, set THO dogs to bowling, and
caused his childto jump into a cistern.
A NEwARK>widow recently found in
the coat pocket of her deceased husband,
a book, showing that he had placed in q
savings bank of that city some $500, of
which she had go previous knowledge.
A CALIFORNIA paper finds it necessary
to explain that the peculiar taste Of the
water in al Alameda well vas caused by
the presence of six dead eats. It's medici-
nal virtues had previously been highly
praised.
TIE builder of a church now in course
OF erection in England, when the toast of
his health Was given, Father entrgetlcsliy
replied that che was more fitted for the
scattold than for public speaking"
BRIDGET, in reply to a remark of her
mistress, who said that she had put too
much garlic in the omelets, replied that
she did so that it would not taste so
strongly OF the eggs, which we're bad.
REV HOBART SEYMOUR calculates that
OF all Chrisiel dom, 17O,3l4,O00 are ON
nected with the Roman Church, 1O4 541,-
GOO with Protestant Churches, 81, 56S 900
with Greek, Armenian and other smaller
communiOns.
AN old couple in Cambridge, Mass,
Quarrcllct, and the man oOk a watch he
gave his wife at tneir marriage and sold 1t
IN Boston. She then stole his false teeth
while he slept and kept them till he
brought the watch back. Draw game!
A PRUDENT man advised his drunken
servant 10 put by his money for a rainy
day. In II few weeks the master inquired
how much of his wages he had saved
Faith, none al all" sad he; ait rained
yesterday and it all went"
JOHNNY was watching his mother
49, - IL - -
bloom OF our Louisiana gardens. On,
mar he said, "how sweet that is! You
just look as il pa was dead. and you were
gong to DC married over again !"
A SCoTcHMAN who had put up at an
inn was asked in the morning how he
slept. Gan, mon" replied Donald, mae
vera well either, but l was muckle better
OF than the bugs, for de a one o them
closed an ee the hale NIGHT"
DEARBORN Corr, a successful farmer of
futon Borough, N. H., has and now
wears IA pair oil boots manufactured for
him thirty years ago last December He
has worn them for dress boots ever since,
and they viii probably hold good for the
next decade.
FIRST MATRoN.-"You doll looks very
poorly, Jemima." Second matron-" Yes,
dear | think it frets n great deal about
Alfred. He knocked one OF eyes out las,
week, and lost g great deal of sawcust
and hasn't been the same doll SINCE"
A BOHEMIAN, who was obliged TO camp
out the other evening, when asked
where he slept, remarked that he occupied
a bed. %"Indeed," CIRCULATED a brother H.,
Il thought you had to rough it outside"
Wen" No. l replied, 81 slept on an
onion bed"
AN editor of one of the New York mag
az mes lately sent back his tailor's bill ac-
c%ompanied by a neatly printed slip III
forming the tailor that his Ms. was re
specially declined" Force OF habit.
The mistake was not discovered until the
next day. The tailor discovered 1t.
A YOUNG gentleman of Buffalo went to
serensde bis lady love the other night,
and while in the act of singing the first