The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1870-11-11
CHIPS.

~ D'SfP~'
A college for women alone is soon to
be organized 1t Franklin, Mass.
One half of the world don't know how
the other half live-and it is none OF
their business.
Next year the New York Tribune is to
build magnificent new Office on the site
Of the present one.
Over 200 COWS. valued at s11 ,0C0, have
died in Knoxville. Tenn, and vicinity,
this season from the cattle disease.
Thar il great deal Of magnificent pow
erty in our big citys-people who eat
kIam soup ou. ov tin basin with gold
spoon.
The entire police force ofa Pennsylvania
town resigned in body the other day.
from lonesomeness. 1t was man named
Jones.
An Irishman was challenged to fight
duel, but declined on the plea that he
did not wish to leave his mother an OF
phan.
Mrs. Partington says that because
dancipg-girls are stars, it is no reason
Why they should be regarded as Heavenly
bodies.
A great fact crops up-Amateur gard
eners are the most generous Of men-it is
q pleasure with them to fork over" their
grounds.
Il have great love for old hymns" said
pretty girl to her masculine friend.
Il ain much fonder," he replied ''of the
young hers"
Miss Bartlett, who some years ago mar
ricd Senior Oveido. the Cuban millionaire,
returns to New York widow, with
81 100000.
Fish remains in the cabinet, so he says,
to accommodate Grant. 1t is thus that
promiuen. men sacrifice themselves for
their country.
Why does the ocean commerce ot
America remind one of the ratings OF a
gallery. Because just nov It IS simply
| ballast trade.
The absurd whisky meter having just
been abolished, all our drinking songs
| will probably be set in future to "eom-
mon meier.
Miss Lizzie Boynton is to be married
| 10 October to one Of those ''horIid men"
she continually talks about in her woman's
rights speeches.
Among the premiums offered at CONN.,
| ,y fair in Kentucky is one of $40 for the
neatest patch put on an old garment BY
IN unmarried woman.
4 husband in this city, who interview
ed his wife. says she is right on the
leading questions of the day. but wrong
on the leading strings.
Marshall, the discoverer of gold in
California. not having made anything out
Of it himself. is trying to ge, something
back by publishing book about it.
Miss Kendall, of Indians, has demon
strared ber indisputable right to the bal
lot by walking eighteen miles in less than
FIVE hours and winning wager of $50.
Miss Emma Jones, young and beau
| tiful inmate of the Cincinnati Orphan
Asylum, has recently fallen heiress to q
legacy of $780, 900 by the death of an un-
| Gle.
Blessed are they that are ignorant, for
they are happy in thinking they know
everything. Blessed are the orphan chill
dren, for they have no mothers to spank
them.
Alex. III. Stephens is regarded by some
as great man, but it is reported that his
present weight is but seventy-slx pounds.
Certainly his greatness is not in tho
flesh.
4 militia officer being told by phre-
nologist that he had the organ of locality
very large, innocently replied, "Very
likely, was fifteen years colonel in tho
local militia.
A woman in Wisconsin says that when
her husband is little drunk he kicks her,
and that when he is very drunk she kicks
him; aud she adds that she does most Of
the kicking.
Doctrcss Mary Walker paraded Nassau
street, New York, on Saturday, in mas
culine suit Of black silk. She paid no
attention to the newsboys and bootblacks
who followed at her heels.
"Yoa had better ask for manners than
money!" said finely dressed gentleman
to negsar who had asked for alms. 81
asked for what l thought you had the
most Of was the cutting reply.
A lover being requested to buy his
sweetheart pair of shoes while in the
city, inquired by note if she wanted them
sRound or Square Toad to which she
answered, "Kneither, but peeked."
An Irish gentleman, who had been
spending the evening with few friends,
looked at his wstch just after midnight,
and said: 1T is tomorrow morning; I
must bid you goodnight, gentlemen"
A man carrying cradle was stopped
by an old woman, and thus aecosted: $50,
sir, so you have got some IF the fruits of
matrimony?" "Softly old lady," said he !;
"yoa mistake; this is merely the fruit
| basket
Miss Lizzie Barrigan is the champion
swimmer of Charlestown, Mass She can
swim faster and further, dive deeper, and
come out dryer, than any one else in tina
place, and, altogether, she is "duck ofa
i woman.
"Who's that gentleman, my little mang'
"That one with the spike-tailed coat!"
ayes" was the response. "Why, he's
brevet uncle of mine." How's that?"
was asked. .sCause he is engaged to my
aunt Mary
/ VIM. Bradford, promising young
lawyer from Cincinnati, drowned himself
in presence of his wife, in the Usage river.