The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-04-15
Iowa PLAIN DEALER,
A Dap-sack. A piilow-case.

A nap-sack. A pillow-case.
A Qaeue-rious psople--tbs Chinese.
Ballet trourss are wh;sledly mind
Dry groecriss-- cod feb and red
herring.
A useful and practical lins--shs
clothes line.
Academy Of esigu--a female
boariing-ssbooi.
What are h. wild waves saying!'
Let US spray.
A dead MISUNDERSTANDING
ones funeral expenses.
A grocer resembles a hishwaymsp
whes he lies in weight.
The best hand at the trick Of "in-
serting natural teeth, p" 10 bulldog,
Was much of our modern whisksy
ever seen coming thro the rye?'
The surest way to lose your health
isso keep drinking other peoples.
Why 10 pigs tail like . carving
knife? Because 1t il Aourished over
. ham.
A eoncsited young lady remarked
the young men arc very eoyet.us
set!
The street which old bachelors par.
ticularly shuu iu New York 10 Maiden
Lane.
Lasiness 10 . good deal like money,
the more = man has Of it the more
he wants.
The Nebraska plan Of ex.or min.t-
ing the Indians 10 to tsssh the pa
poosss 'Sboo Fly"
The most proper kind Of food for
funeral dinners is lamb and Eaters.
(Lsnentators.) See it
Whenever theatrical managers make
money they may thank their lucky
stars for it.
If you were to strike Grant hard
enough t. knock him out Of Office, it
would not leave Dent.
Mrs. Partingtou want to know what
them rheumatic railways' are that
people talk about.
The most popular edition Of tho
Young Womau's Gaide-young men
from seventeen to twenty-five.
The Alaska Mskutonscutxocoa oats
live in Arc.dian simplicity on tho
acoolakuchargut river.
When the Fifteenth Amendme Mt
il engaged to do WITHDRAWING. the
contract should be put in black and
white.
Tho English people work life at
high boiler pressure, but the Yankees
do mors--:bey sit on the valves.
At Prof. Rogers Star Lecture,
few evenings since, the audience
were SO quiet you could hear . bed
tick.
We do not believe that it il impos-
'sibls to arrest the fight Of time for
who is there that cannot stop : min
ute?
A librarian arranging his books 49,
cording to their subject matter, put
Irish Bulls" under tie head Of az.
riculturs.
did it rain tomorrow" inquired
Dutchman Of . vrsnebusu. me
gusss it WAS. " replied the French.
man.
We hear great deal more Of per.
sons "desd 10 love with each other"
than We do of their living in love
with each other.
Anna Dickinson proelaims that
she does not entertain any anns-mos-
ity towards tho men. Who ever said
she did?
An exchange paper says: Truth
10 in type, but is crowded out BY
more important matter" We be-
lisve you, my boy.
A Boston lady took arsenic be-
cause tired Of this cold world"
but was pumped out just ~ the wealth
Ct had turned colder yet.
Can you tell why this esrth of ours
is like blackboard? Give it up
Because tho children of men multi
ply upon tho face Of it.
A plain girl always has one conso.
letios. II she's not . pretty young
lady, she will, if she lives long
enough, be > pretty old one.
New York has begg.r who offers
to make change in silver" when
tho charitable say they have nothing
less than dellar note
The Georgis darkies are fond Of
raising garden seeds. They raise
them out Of their white neighbors'
gaEdsns. IS soon ~ they are planted.
The wretch who can stand in . pair
Of slippers worked for him by his
wife, and sco!d her. is , brute who
deserves to have the govt in both
feet.
Over hundred young ladies' are
at.present studying Law 10 this coun.
try. One Of these days they will
probably Ill become mothera.in- law.