Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1870-07-14

tutivs-and it is mainly upon intuition wo-
men pride themselves-that they scent
danger from afar. They are not altogether
to be blamed for this for, from time i'm
mortal St Paurs remark about the prop
riety of their asking their husbands about
anything they don't understand has been
hinged into their ears, and they have con-
tracted an evil habit of not telling man
that is, an official man who comes to them
with an odious book in which he puts down
all that they say-that they are in fear and
trembling. and fustered beyond reason
when asked how old they are, what are
their names, who are their husbands, and
thousand other impertinsnt queries which
nobody but designing person would ever
think of asking.
A ring at the bell ''Mary, wish you'd
90 to the door. I'm doing up my hair, and
goodness only knows where my net is
Go and see who it is" Exit Mary, who
trips down stairs. prinking herself, an
seeing that her dress is arranged nicely.
She opens the door, and there stands a
man with book. 1t is man, and so
Mary is willing to have little chat with
him.
"Good day, sir"
"Good day. Will you tell me who lives
here?"
Mrs. Brown"
'Does sic spell it with an E2"
80 dear, no sir; some of her relations
does, but she doesn't put on airs. She
spells it plain, Mrs. Brown, Brown
Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Brown"
What is her husbands manner"
"Why, Mr.. Brown, of course"
''Yes, l know; but what is his first
name2"
"Peter-Peter Brown"
"What is his business?"
"Wait a minute; I'll get you one of his
circulais-he's awholesale and retail cloth
Ter. guess you want some clothes-look
as though you did" Exit Mary. who trips
up stairs, revealing slipshod heel in her
fight, and waiting for no reply. Presently
she returns with Mrs Brown-who has
done up her hair but forgotten to attend to
the beauty of her feet-at her heels. Mrs
Brown knows the official face and book,
and is instantly on her guard
Mrs. Brown loq4itw-"What doyou wish,
sir?"
81 am taking the census"
| 30, yes; census taker, to be sure. Him
as puts down in a book everything you say,
and then sends it ON to Washington, and
then laws only knows what'n happen to
you"
s.Pshaw! some folks seem to think that
if their names 60 down In this book they
will be hanged or have something else hap
pen to than. What is your husbands bust
nesS2
"Well, he calls himself wholesale and
tail clothier; but he amt; he's only q
tailor"
We'll, then, he's tailor"
Il
to p 1t it in q book, Iguess you'd better call
him o Wholesale and retail clothier. That's
what he says he is, and here's his circular.
Folks put ON airs sometimes, and if Mrs.
Robinson calls her husband hair-aresser
when he's only a barber, Iguess I can call
Pete clothier."
| "Your husbands name is Peter Brown
and he's clothier. ALI right How old is
hes"
Hell be fifty-six next January, the
baliheaded old goose says he's only forty,
and there's that hussy of Susan Jane
Green as lives around the corner"
Yes, yes, ] see fiifty-six. Where was
he oorn?'
'In the Isle of Man he used to have a
sign with three legs on it, when he kept in
tho basem emit If you'll come upstairs I'll
show it to you"
| Thank You; but it isn'tnecessary. How
many children have your"
"Well, there's Mary, my eldest; and
there's Peter, him as was named after his
fsther; and George Wilkinson, him as was
named after old Mrs. Wilkinson, because
Peter thought she'd leave him some money,
| but she didn't, but left it all to the Home
for Baptist Wanderers; which was Just like
her, with her pretences, and her always a.
knitting stockings for the poor; precious
little they ever got of them, goodness
knows, for she used to sell 'em and buy
snuff with the money: and always thought
she ate opium too, and whisky, Tor used
to smell 'em on her, the hypocritical old
pest TO society, as she was, and everybody
knew it, only Pete he says: ITS best TO
make believe we're Baptists; but we amt,
with their old duckin' and plungin' and
thinking they can wash away original sin,
when it say: "Nor hyssop-branch, nor
sprinklin' PRIEST '-leastways, don't mean
that, for thst's against sprinklin'. but it is
wrote
Eyes, yef, know, but how about the
children"
swell amt tryin' to tell you? There's
Mary, and George W ilkinson-blame the
snuffy old thing with her opiumi-and Au-
lgustus John: which was all his fathers
putin on airs cause there amt no Angus
tus in has family and nowhere else as 1
knows on, and Sarah as is all the time
wsntin' me TO bay lquorice to make liquo-
nee water in pesky old castor oil bott. q
and spill it all over her dress. have to
change her apron every five minutes, do
believe, and I've got to make her two more
right of, or she won't have a rag to her
back, with her traipsin' over the floor and
her nasty hquorice water, which she won't
gave me q minutes peace if don't get II
for her, and she rubs it all over the hAby's
face till feel just like flynn. And there's
Bob, as his father wants to be politician
when he gets little older, but, good prac.
ious says /, Peter, do you v snt the little
| boy to be q fooR But les smart. for he
steals my curl paper, and gets Mary to
make b'lieve they'rs votes, and then give
him peppermint-drops for putin them in
the bureau that he says is the polls. And
the-e's nav precious little hootsy- tootsy. and
her n i1e is Elizabeth Cady Brown, which
is aftsr me. And that's all" "a
''Y q, ma'am. and, as near as can make
out -ou have eleven children" 81
Bless the man! What does he take me
for2 Its only seven"
Thank you. Have You any boarders?'
'BoardersI just come down stairs,
once. and look at the pile of hash Mary's
( poundin' an has been all the mornin' and
you won't ask such question again in one
while. Boarders, indeed Forty-'leven of
| them"
20, dear, 1 was afraid-so. Begin with
the youngest and 60 up. Please don't talk
more than is necessary"
sJoannah Mary Dodd, she's my young
cot and Mr. Maxansfrs ofoacb ba'a nv