The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-03-05

sake OF giving a travestan degree of Voc
begoneness TO the part. At least this is the
only theory upon which / can account for the
comical concavlty of this celebrated clowns
checks. In private life he is plump aud com
fortable-looking. 1t Is only during the present
season of Hamlet that his checks have gone in
and his teeth como out. i recommend this
device to all young actors who would identify
themselves with their art Laughing-gas will
enable them to submit to long pull, strong
pull, and a pull altogether, and then they can
have several sets of teeth made adapted to early
and advanced stages of life. The teeth can be
changed between the acts, and win be found
invaluable in those dramas in which twenty
years are supposed to elapse between the pro-
logue and the first act.
Fat women's Ball.
The fat women held ball at the Military Hall
last night. The hall is at No. 1913 Bowery, and
the quality of the assemblage may be imagined.
do not like the idea of fat in connection with
anything that Is feminine. 1t is a common say
ing that the man that drinks is bad enough, but
the woman who drinks-the sentence being left
unfinished for want Of sufficiently apt
comparison. So say of fat women A fat man
Is bad enough but fat woman take her away
at once, cart her off, let her be boxed up and
placed upon rigid course of Banting.
The Pneumatic Transit TanneI '
is visited by between one and two thousand peo-
pie daily. 1t was thrown open to the public last
Monday at charge of twenty-five cents per
head On the Saturday previous there had been
q reception rendered to the newspapers, at
which was given to understand the principal
features were extremely bad champagne and
very vitiated atmosphere. Why the bad cham
payne should always be trotted out when news
papers are about don't know unless it Is be-
cause they so often drink so unfortunately
that it is assumed they don't have time to judge
in the act of swallowing.
"Dead to Rights.o
This is a term which the police of the city are
fond of applying to one of the celebrated female
pickpockets of Gotham, who is always on the
verge of committal, but never gets committed
| Her name is Lou, and "Little Lou" is the de-
| nomination of endearment that is generally ap-
| piled to her. Her favorite mode of operating is
| in crowded stages. She is small, and sharp, and
| bright perfectly self-possessed and hard to
| battle. She understands her biz" as well as
any one in her profession in the metropolis. She
| is Sin" with several detectives, and has been
useful to some of them on more than one occa-
| sion. Perhaps this is the reason why she always
| is safe. At any rate, whatever the reason may
| be, she always escapes. In the elegantly pic
| turesque language in which policeman referred
to the mystery "There is Niger in the pit
somewhere" She always is getting dead to
Rights"
| Car-ThIIdren.
| 1t is Victor Hugo who remarks that the beau
| tiful is as useful as the useful. downtown
manufacturer is endeavoring to prove that the
| ugly may be made as useful too. In the first
| place, he has manufactured several thousand
| miniature mirrors, so small that they sell for a
| triie, and be held In the hollow of the hand.
He then went to work and hunted up all the
frightful-looking and deformed children that
| could be made serviceable. To these he COM
mitted the sale of his minis iature mirrors, and
sent the callow Calibans shivering through the
principal street cars, displaying their wares and
appealing to the sympathy of the public. The
device took; the little looking-glasses sold the
one-eyed and hunch-back brats rejoiced anC
were exceeding glad; and the mirror manufac
turer made money. On the back of each glas
was an ingenious advertisement of his business
which no purchaser could well avoid reading.
The Truss Question.
Mr.. Reechers denunciatory note seems to hav
had the effect of drawing out other testimonie
! against the swindling truss. One courageou
act in this direction often has the effect O
drawing forth many more. ALI BABA