The Placer herald., 1870-08-27
TERENCE MIGRANT.
HEADQUARTERS OF ROYAL FAMILY,
RANCHO Ell BRADLEY,


MIsTHER PUMMERY-At lasht our cottage
here has got name, as We will see. All
the prominent places here had name, such
as 'Buchu Terrace" 'Wist Ind, and the
like, and me cousin Ulisus's wife would not
enjoy divil the haper of slape until our house
had an arishtocratic "appellation. That's
that she called it, appellation;' though Brid-
get says there is no such word in the cook
book. So, we see, we called some frnds to-
gether to suggest names for the house. Phil
Sheridan wanted it called "Piegan Lodge, ="
but me cousin soured on that emadiately, as
it brought to his mind visions of California
papooses running around with no clothes on
but red string on the left leg. Mrs. Grant
wanted it called the ''Dentage." Me cous-
in suggested "The Tannery" Bridget pro-
posed "The Poor-house, and | "The Sham
rock, and just as we were about to play a
game of ''freeze-out poker" to decide the
name, Judge Bradley, the gintleman who
gave the house till me cousin, and was ap-
pointed Judge the mkt day, said he wanted
it called "Rancho el Bradley" Me cousin
Ulisses wouldn't listen to that, as he said
people would talk about it, and say it was
presented til him. Bradley said he had dis
covered flaw in the deed, conveying the
property to me cousin Ulssus, and unless
his wishes were afther being consulted in the
naming of the cottage, he would take the
property back and bundle the whole family
out of the rancho. Av coorse me cousin
could not allow any such indignity to befall
the family, SO Msther Bradley had his way,
and We can hcreafther call the place "Rdn-
cho el Bradley" Me cousin goes to Wash
ington tomorrow to get the deed of the
property and see if there is ony flaw in it,
and if there is not, ovid Bradley will get
hoisted off that Suprame Binch as quick as
a turkey would snatch a mosquito off a
sweet potato vine.
The day before yesterday made wan
of my characteristic blunders, which has
placed us in rather Strengthened crcumstan-
ces, at laist for the prisent, until me cousin
gets back from Washington, where Dint is
accumulating some stamps, charging visitors
small admission fee for coming inside the
Finite House. Me cousin, Ulsses gave me
two thousand dollars fhich he had come in
to possession of very mysteriously during
, visit from the National Committee of the
Union Lage-4nd towld me to take it up
to the bank and deposit, so we could check
it out whin we was afther wanting it, as he
didn't consider it safe to kape so much mon
ey in the house, we have so many Republi-
can visitors, politicians, and the like. You
know how it is wild politicians. They fraqucnt-
y make mshtakes and fraze to other peoples
money. So | tuck the money down till
(fhn,,hnrl,i,'n h,,,1, ,tlar
His bank is called the Faro Bank | towld
Misther Chamberlain | wanted to put the
money in his bank, and get checks for it, so
me cousin could check it out at ony time,
and he tuck it and gave me big shtack of
red ivory things, about as big as a silver
quarther, should judge, though it's the
divil's own long time since ] have sane a sill
yer quarther There were some gintlemen
at the table wild white ivory things, guess
ing that cards was in pack fhich Chamber
lain was fooling wild. | got interested in
seeing the gintemen guess so narely, and
thought would shtay few minutes, so |
laid me red ivory things on the table, not
thinking there was any harm, fhen Misther
Chambern wint on fooling wild the cards,
and directly, if ye will behave it, he raked
all me red ivory things in his box, and
wouldn't give them back till me. He said |
wasn't good guesser, that | guessed on
the wrong caird, and the loikes of that. Ma
ther would he give me back my cousins
money. Now that kind of way is that for
banker to trate gintleman, the firsht time
he deposits funds. DO the New York banks
do the like wint back to me cousin, and
towld him how it was, expecting to get some
sympathy, and that do yez think BE .ja-
bers he threw a boot and a box of blue pills
fhich he had been taking, at me head, call
ed me a suprame idiot, as big a fool as Gin
eral Dint and said | had been bucking
away his hard arnings thrying to bate the
tiger. Divil the tiger did / buck at all at
all.
don't care about the money Or his throw
ing boots and pills at me, nor calling me an
idiot, but whin he goes so far as to call me
as big fool as Gineral Dint, it is more than
human nature can shtand. So got dhrunk,
and am dhrunk now fhile | write this.
Bridget says me cousin was only mad be-
cause he didn't gamble the money away his
self inshtead of meself
Bridget has her troubles here as well as
meself There was a Methodisht minister
here from Philadelphia, who shtayed to tay
wild us. behave they always shtay to tay:
We were all sitting around the table, and
afther the ministher had axed a blessing and
helped himself till the bishcut, he says to
me cousin.
"Misther President, see you are very
Democratic, as you allow your Irish servants
to occupy a safe at thy table wild YOU.
This remark touched Bridget in tinder
shpot, and she was going to shling the tay-
pot at his head, whin winked at her on the
shin wild me boot under the table, and she
only shpoke mildly till him. Says Bridget;
eye fhite-livered divil of Methodisht
spalpeen, going round the country siducing
famails and boarding wild onybody that axes
yez to ate, and ye call me servant do yez.
am own blood relation to the President,
and if ye don't shtop winking at me III put
head on you in jif'.