Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1870-05-13
Hoofiand interviewed.


windows of the editorial sanctum viciously,
as if the clerk of the weather, vexed by
some querulous paragraph rejecting on
the management of his department, had
ordered his understrappers to throw cold
water on our efforts to entertain the pub
lie. The city news market was as dull as
the leaden sky, and the country sheets,
guiltless Of any thing that savored Of the
sensatiobal.w were IN every senseof the phrase
wet blankets" Melancholy as dyspep.
tic owl, our liveliest reporter sat brooding
in corner, scratching his head and finding
nothing in it but vacuum. A bright
thought struck us. Such things will some
times happen to editors, even in north
east rain-sturm. LET somebody be inter.
gieaoed, we exclaimed, looking up at our
plaved-out attache He frightened up and
inquired who it should be. We coguated,
The politicians, financiers and clergymen
had all been done-in fact, oyerdone.
The public was tired Of them-it was Of no
use 'going through" any OF them again.
another night idea flashed through our
pericranium. drop in" said we, ION a
man who has never yet been inter viewed
Ia publ benefaclor, whose name has
been before the people for thirty years
and to hon thousands Of them own the
good digestion that waits on appitte and
the health that waits on both--a veteran
phianthropist, whose name from II boy
hoods hour, has been as conspicuous on
every coign of vantage as the Handwriting
on the wall in Belshazzar's palace, and
who, at time when but too many candi
dates for public favor are weighed in the
balance and found wanting continues to
enjoy the confidence of the masses. In
short, 60 and pay a friendly visit to DR..
iloofand, ard report the result at these
head quarters, r
1T is bitter day" remarked our spe-
cial
"The more appropriate" we replied"
for an interview with the diScoverer of the
most popular Bitttrs, in existence. Elec
trifed by our bitter pun, he took bis hat
and umbrella and vanished tout de suite
In about an hour and half, he returned
with the following
REPORT.
Fouud DR.. Hoofland in his laboratory
with face as full of benevolent sunshine
as day in June, and opened fire upon hin,
at once.
RepoYter-Good morning, doctor. |
have come to interview you.
Doctor II (dryly) All! In my young
days they called that sort of thing pumping
But this is the age off "word-painting."
Go ahead
Reporter How old are you. doctor ?
no.y.,, NVoll xo,, naadspf r,,ontiop II IN
the ladies'; but I'm in my eighty-seventh
year
Reporter You are wonderfully hale
looking man for that age. Excuse me doe
tor but do you take your own medicines
Doctor-I do, young man, perhaps if !
did not l shouldn't be the {" hale fellow,
well met" you seem to think me.
Rep0rter-I can remember your RENE
dies ever since | was boy. Are they
still as popular as ever?
Doctor Unless my ledger and my bank
account deceive me, young man, their sale
has been increasing for more than twenty
years.
Reporter much, at rough guess,
have you expended in advertising during
that period?
Doctor--In round numbers, about a
million of dollars. 1t costs a great deal to
guide the people to health through the
newspapers Ths tolls on the turnpike
of the Press are pretty heavy.
Rep0rter- Yes; but it's the only road
by which good thing can reach the goal
Of universal publicity and universal accep
lance. What remedies are you preparing
now !
Doctor -Four: "Hoofand's German Bii
ties. lilo ,hand' German Tome" "iloof
lands Greek OI,"aud "HooAands Podoph
yilin (extract OF Mandrake) Pills"
Repoi ter should like to have brief
account of the nature of these remedies
Doctor--C Certainly. The Bitteis is con
posed of fluid extract-the active principle
of roots and herbs grown in Germany. Il
contains no alcoholic stimulant, and is The
most potent general remedy known for
Dyspepsia, Liver Complaint, Jsundice, De:
bilitv and all diseases of the digestive and
Stcrutive organs
Reporter-The Tonic is made from the
same ingredients, and is intended for th,
same class Of ailments, is it not ?
Doctor Yes but it contains in addition
a certain amount of pure Santa Cruz Rum
| the finest stonachlc in the world, where !;
tliifusive stimulant is necessary. tits ais
lielightfuIy favored with aromatic extracts
agreeable to the palate, and is intended t
take the place of the Btters in cases where
there is lack of constitutional vigor and
vitality. 1t is also powerful blood depu
rent, and purifier of all the animal fluids
Reporter Well doctor, and what is
Greek Oil?
Doctor The great antagonist of pain
1t instantly aleviates the torture Of Rheu
matism, Neuralgia. Toothache, Headache
Earache, -Sprains, Bruises and the like
Pain cannot long exist when it is properly
applied sZ aB 1.rp 5dl g8gH
Reporter Pills, Doctor, what are
they r;ie
Doctor--A compound Of five vegetable
extracts. The alcoholic extract of Man
drake, called Podophyllin, which acts on
the liver as powerfully as mercury, with.
out any of the evil effects Of that pernicious
mineral, is the most important. Of the
others, one acts upon the stomach, two
upon the upper and lower bowels, and the
remaining one renders the operation of all
the rest painless. Used in connection
with the Btters and the Tonic, they are
an absolute specific for the Liver Compla-
int, Dyspepsia and Constipation. Indeed
know of no disease. not organic, which
can withstand the Alternative and renovating
action of these three remedies.
Reporter-These are certainly remark
able statements. Can ycu establish them