Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1870-01-25
NUN OR O US.
Fhe LaK1ers and the Cats.

Two Arkansas lawyers we're domiciled in
the rude hotel of country town. The hotel
was crowded. and tho room allotted to our
two heroes was also occupied by six or eight
others Shakedown beds, enough to accom-
modats the guests. were disposed about the
room, against the four walls. leaving al open
space in the centre "f the apartment
Judge Clark lay with his head to the north,
on one side and Judge Thomas lay with his
head to the south, on tho other side of the
room So far as that room was concerned, it
might be said that their heads represented
the north and south poles, respectively.
All the other beds in the room were occu-
pied. Tho central part of the room was
deemed neutral ground. in which the oceu-
pants Of the different beds had equal rights
Here. in picturesque confusion. lay the boots,
hats, coats and brooches of the sfeepcrs.-
There were no windows, and though the door
was open, there being no moon, the night was
very dark in that room.
The willy lawyers, who had been opposing
counsel in a case tried in the town court that
day. and had opposed each other with the
cnntumaciiy of wild pigs were now the very
incarnation of meckness. for when the hun
CRY swarm of mosquitoes settled down and
bit them on the one cheek, they slowly turned
the other to be bitten also.
But hush-hark
deep sound strikes the ear like rising
knell.
"6Ie,ow-ow
Judge Clark and Thomas we're wide awake,
and sitting bolt upright in an instant
- Again the startling cry.
"Ye-ow. ye-ow ~
''There's a id cat" whispered Clark.
''Scat, you!' Kissed Thomas
Cat paid no attention to these demonstra-
tions. but gave vent to another yoBl.
'Oh. Lord !" cried Clark Il can't stand
this. Where is she, Thomas ?"
On your side Of the room somewhere"
replied Thomas.
"N1. she's on your SIDE" said Clark.
aye we ow-owr'
"There. | told you she was on your side,"
they both exclaimed in breath.
And still the .'yovP' went on.
The idea now entered the heads of beth the
lawyers that by the exercise of certain STRAIT
eay they might he enabled to execute GER
tain flank movement the cat and Totally
demoraIize him. Practically each determined
to file "a motion 10 qunsh" the cats attach.
newt for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself. and. in the
dark. unable to see each other, prepared for
action.
Strange as it may appear. II ia pevertheless
trina th"' the same plan suggested itself to
both. In words, the plan would be about as
follows:
The yowler is evidently looking and calling
for another cat l will initiate a cat, md
this cat will think t'other cat, around This
cat will come towards me. md when he shall
have arrived within reach. I'll blaze away
with anything can get hold of, and knock
tho meH-ic out of him.
So each of the purtly Judges noisslcssly
as comes TO the surface of the milk
hoisted himself upon his hands and knees.
and. hippopotamus fashion. advanced to tho
ne tril ground occupying the central portion
OF the room.
Arrived there Judge Clark selected boot
jack. and Judge Thomas n heavy couhdc
boot from the heap, and settled themselves
down to work.
Clark frightened his grip on the boot jnck,
and throwing up his head. gave vent to
prolonged and unearthly "Ye.oW-ow !" that
would have reflected credit upon ten of the
lar. est kind Of cats
sAha." thought Thomas. who was not six
feet away. hes Immediately close around
Now I'll inveigle him." and he gave the reg
ular dark-night call Of a feminine cat
Each of the judges now advanced little
closer. and Clark produced a questioning
"Ow-ow"
Thomas answered By a reassuring 'Pur-ow,
pur ow ~ and they advanced n little more.
They were now within easy reach, aud each
imagining that the cat had but moment
more to live. whaled away. one with his boot,
the other with his boot jack
The boot took Clark square in the mouth,
demolishing his teeth. and the bootjack came
down on Thomas's bald head just as he was
in the midst of triumphant "4e-ow-'
When lights were brought tho cat had dis
appeared but the catastrophe was in oppo>
site corners of the room, with heels in the air,
swearing blue streaks.