Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-11-26
WeekIy Grinity yuurnal.
FACT AND FANCY.
Text for q brewer-He brews Xxx.

A sharp piece of fliterature-The Lancet.
New book in the prcss-A String of Pearls by
Cuthbert Bcad.
Why is the letter like prodigal son2 Be-
cause it makes pa pay.
A Norwegian giant seven feet and ten inches
in highth is in Cincinnati.
1t does not follow because book is curtailed
that it should be dog cared.
IF we can't hear, it amt from the lack of
ears, as the ass said to the cornfeld.
A Chicago man claims divorce from his wife
because she insists on money twice n week.
The French wanted not Berlin wool, but Ber-
lin worSted; but they have been disappointed.
An individual at Bangor declares that otis
the working between meals that's killing him. "
Mrs. Lotta Farnham, of Lagrange county,
Wisconsin, has just planted her sixth husband.
The young lady at Aiemagoozelum, who was
MP with the lark, is now down with the rheuma-
tSm.
\ lady died recently in Boston, aged eighty,
who had not been outside the house for forty
years.
1t has ever been thus-a woman in every
trouble. Miss Management has killed the French
Empire
Why is a watchdog bigger by night than by
day? Because he is let out at night and taken
in in the morning.
pnnstcr passing by the shop of certain
Mr.. Taswe. observed that his name would be
As-wel without the T.
Mrs Polly Deer, of Montgomery county, Ind.
has M unmarried daughter weighing quarter
of ton. Who wants her?
A man in Fond du Lac, Wis, refused an offer
Of $40, 900 for valuable horse, the other day,
and the next night the horse was poisoned.
NJ. W. Norwood, Dubuque jeweler has
o.,aIs 81 I DO all
distinctly that it may be read with the naked
eye.
lady Of Morgan comfy, Indiana, who had
occasion to discharge her husband, presented
him with fifty dollars and told him to "git."
He got.
loving wife Mt Long Branch said "The
horrid surf makes me keep my mouth shut"
Sarcastic husband -" Take some of it home
with yot."
Josh Billing says that " one ov the hardest
things for emmy man tew do is tew fall down on
the ice when it is wet, and then get up and
praZe the Lord"
western editor is pained to hear" that
intimate friend has "gone to heaven" lie is
probably saddencd by the thought that they
will never meet again.
The way to make good coffee is to go to ho-
tells, restaurants, railroad eating houses, etc,
and ascertain just how they make coffee, then
make 1t as they don't.
An old, dilapidated bank-note is going round
with piece of yellow paper pasted on the back
of it, on which is written in a bold, free hand
Go it, Bill, I'll back you ~
The " Flower Mission " of Boston, originated
by two little girls, has, during the past season,
made many poor and sick persons happier by
carrying to them l. 900 bouquets aud 800
pond-lilies.
Scene in the Dayton Police Court-Counsel ::
(which side Of the street do you live on, Mrs
Kppel? 'On either side, sir. If ye 90 one
way its on the right hand and if ye 60 the other
its on the left."
man who lately shot and killed boy in his
melon patch, when called to account for the
deed, said he did it in mercy TO the boy, who
otherwise might have died painful death from
cholera morbus.
gentleman Of Norwich, Connecticut, found
in his yard King Georges penny dated 1852.
lie sold it for one dollar and quarter, the judi
cous investment of which amount rendered him
eligible TO the incbriate asylum.
During recent examination in natural his
tory, the teacher asked an. Irish lad, "Why
does cat, while eating turn her head first one
way aud then the othcrP g For the rayson -
said Pat, " that she cannot turn it both ways at
once"
The only mention of paper money in the BIZ
bic, says an exchange, is where it says the
dove brought the 81 green back " to Noah. A
mistake-whcn the twelve were sent out they
were commanded to take no script " with
them.
An eX-army surgeon, at Boston, is reported to
be in fall pos session Of two wives, unexpectedly
introduced 10 each other rs such recently, who
max" the best of the circumstances, dwell to-
gcther in peace, with large joint stock compa-
ny of children.
4" feel" moaned dying cobbler, that
wax weaker every day, and that | am gradually
approaching my end only few more stitches
and my nwl will be over. In heaven there is
rest for the sole earth has no sorrow that
heaven cannot heel"
In some four or five of the newspaper obitua-
ries OF General Lee " the undiscovered country
from whose bourne no traveller returns - does
not once occur " How sleep the brave who
sink to rest, by all their countrys wishes best, :"
occurs in but fifteen.
Calvin Chamberlain, venerable citizen of
Maine, dug seventy bushels of potatoes with
his own hands, in eight hours, one day recently
He thinks u man Of sixty ought not to work
more than eight hours, nor dig more than sew
enty bushels in one day
This parody by Chicago Poster, about some
heather Chinese in that goddess town, is as good
almost rs the original
6 fhe pagan ere he breathed his last
Discovered what to do;
The trader sold the Coolie, and
The Coolie soled the shoe"
The Titusyille Courier gives this as sample
OF bookkeeping at " Red Hot" in the oil coun-
try: :" Jim Wilson commenced boarding here
the day before the big tree fell. Tom Horner,
one week after. Received from jim Wilson (5)
dollars the day that Jack got drunk. Paid his
whole bill the day Smiths well was torpedoed." ;"
A banker lent graceless scamp fifty collars
in the hope of getting rid of him but, to his,
surprise, the fellow paid the money panctuay
on the day agreed upon, and short time after
ward applied to him for another loan. "No,"
said the banker you have deceived me once
ard am resolved you shant do it second
time"