Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-12-29
Trials Of . Witness.

grievances uVkU } W VAL nCs AS.s.O0 ~
i;s.en To nv woes And whether they are
woes or not 1 leave you to judge for your
At the beginning of the week made my
a-st appcarance in any court room in the
.Lsroeter of witness in the case of Val.
.n,;ne against Orson, in which the point
!, dispute was the ownership Of o tract of
land IN Wyoming Territory. knew some
M,;nr in regard to the sale Of these lands,
and was fully prepared to testify to the ex-
t..nt Of nv knowledge in the premises but
;ndee Of my after surprise and horror on
being Obliged to go through such an ordeal
ss the following extracts from my exami-
nation will indicate
The counsel for the plaintiff commenced
BY asking me if was a married man, and
when had answered that was, he said :
"Is your wife believer in the princi-
pies of the Woman's Rights party?
could not, for the life Of me see what
his had to do with the land in Wyoming,
but answered that | was happy to say she
was not.
The examination then proceeded as fol-
lows:
O. You are happy, then, in your matri-
nonial relations? A. Yes land remem-
sering the Oath), reasonably SO.
j \
ra.remhering at once his oath and his
v;fe's presence in court) She is pretty
O What are her defects? A. (Witness
,.wemhering only his wife's presence)-I
nave never 6een able to discover them
q Do YOU wear flannel. A. Yes, in
o. Can you testify upon your oath that
Won do not wear flannel in summer? A.
can.
O. Now be careful in you answers.
What do you wear in the spring and fall !?
4. IL wear my common clothes.
@. With flannel or without flannel {?
A. Sometimes with, and sometimes with
cut Y#E
@. No evasion; you must tell the court
exactly when you wear flannel, or when
you do not.
A series of questions on this subject
brought out the fact that / wore flannel
when the weather was cold or cool; and
did not wear it when it was mild, or
warm.
O. Have you lightning rod on your
houses A. have.
@. How much did it cost you to have it
pat ups A. 1t has not cost me anything
yeti owe for it.
@, Is that all you owe fors A. No. I
nave OLnef ueDlS.
Q. Have you any money with you now?
A. / have.
@. How muchs A. Counting contents
Of portmonnaie.) Sixty-two cents.
@. Where did you get that. A. with
embarrassment borrowed it.
@. Were you present when defendant
FIRST offered his land for sale to plaintiff?
A. (Brightening up.) was.
n haav uoppirota1S A
have
@. On which arm? A. The left.
q. At the time of the first mention Of
shis land to plaintiff, who were present?
A. witness speaking with hopeful vivac-
ity, as if they were now coming to the
merits Of the case J The plaintiff, the de-
PENDANT. and myself.
@. Do you use the Old Dominion cof-
fee-pot in your house' A. (Dejectedly.)
No, sir.
Q. What kind Of coffeep pot do you
uset A. A common tin one.
C. You are willing TO swear it was tin!
A. am
@. Has your wife any sisterss "A. She
ias two, Anna and Jane
q. Are they married? A. They are.
Q. Are either of them as pretty as your
wife! A. (Quickly) No, sir.
O. Have you any children, A. Two.
Q. Have they had the measless A. They
have.
G. Has any other person in your house
had the measles? A. / have had them,
and my wife has had them.
O. How do you know your wife has had
them! A. She told me SO.
Q. Then you did not see her have them'
4. No, sir.
c. We want no hearsay evidence here |;
how can you swear that she has had them
when you did not see her have themy A.
She told me SO, and believed her.
q. Did she take an oath that she had
theIns A. No, sir.
court Do you understand the obligations
of an oath. A. l do.
Q. Beware, then, that you are not CON-
mitted for perjury. Is your gas-meter ever
frozen, A. Yes, sir.
@. What do you use when the gas will
aot burn. A. Candles.
O. How many to the pound? A. Nine
q. How do you know there are nine to
the pound? A. They are sold as Mines
q Then you never weighed them your
selfl A. No, sir
Counsel, to the Court May it please
your Honor, this is the second time that
this witness has positively testified, under
solemn oath. TO important points Of . which
he has no certain knowledge. | ask the
Court for protection for myself and my
client
Here long discussion tvok place be-
tween the lawyers and the judge, and at
the end of it the case was postponed for
four months. suppose it is expected that
Twill then reascend the witness stand I;
but have determined that when enter q
courtroom again shall appear as crimi-
nal. These fellows have much the easiest
times, and they run 30 little risk, nova
days, that their position is far preferable to
that Of the unfortunate Punch
s1aIe.
An Automatic Masterpiece.
JosEPH BERGMAN, who lives in little