Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1870-10-20

Newspaper Subscribers.
The London Newspaper Press con-
tains the following classification OF
newspaper subscribers, which issome-
what vaguely credited to IAN Amer
ican paper
FIRST come the
UPRIcHTs.-Thesc are men who
take newspapers, pay for them, and
read them. Observe the order IN
which these things are done: The
pay comes first-the reading next.
These men consider they get the
worth Of their money in the bargain.
1t seems as fair and just to them that
the newspapers should be paid for as
q barrel of sugar or. a new coat.
They never entertain any other opin-
ION. When the year runs out, or a
little before, they are on hand with
the pay. There is no more difficulty
with them in remembering this per-
iod, than Sunday or the first of jan
uary. 1t one OF them wishes to stop
his paper, he either calls or writes a
letter by his postmaster, in due sea-
son, like man. This class is dear to
the heart of the editor. Their image
is embalmed in his warm affections.
May they live thousand years, and
see their sons sons to the fourth gen
Grafton.
The second class now in mind is
the
Do WELLs.-This class is nearly
related to the other-so near, that it
Is hard to tell where one begins and
the other ends. These men always
pay in advance in the beginning, and
intend to do so continually. But
memory fails little, or some mis-
haps intervcncs, and the time runs
by-sometimes a little-sometimes
for quite period. But their recol.
lcctions, though nodding occasionally,
never gets sound asleep. 1t pro-
nounces the word in due time-"TLe
printer is not paid;' and forthwith
their will TO do well kindles into ac-
tivity. Now comes the paying up
"Mcant to do so before. DO Mt
mean to let such things pass by" A
publisher can 1--we with such men.
They have q warm place in his mem
ory-only little back OF the Up
rights. If such man dies in arrears,
his wife or son remembers that he
may not have paid up for his news
paper, and forthwith institutes in.
qulries. They remember that part
OF the benefit was theirs, and, estate
or no estate, see that the printers
bills are not among their fathers un-
settled accounts.
Next come the
EASY DoERs. These men believe
in newspapers. The, have fully
settled 1t in their own minds that .
newspaper is a good thing. They
take them, too. Sometimes at the
first they pay up tor the first year
At any rate they mean to, pretty
soon. II they have done SO, they sit
down with the comforting conviction
that their newspaper is now settled
Tor; and this idea having once got in
TO their heads, refuses obstinately to
be dislodged, but ke:ps its holdfrom
year 10 year; truth once-now an
illusion, gray and rheumatic with
years. The editor, marking the
and elohgatine space in
the accounts CT rrent OF their dollars,
begins to ask If they are dead or have
gone to California. Now he begins
70 poke bills at them. They sudden
y start up to the reality that they
ire in arrears, and, like men, as they
are at the bottom, pay up. They
never dispute his biIls-they know
books tell better stories than moss
covered memories. If the publisher
has faith enough, or long purse, and
can live like a alternating. bear, he
may survive this class. But if he is
mortal only, woe be 70 him.
The next class is that Of the
Down HlLLERs.-IIere we begin
TO slide over to the other side. The
picture suddenly gets sombre. We
shall dispatch the Down Killers sud-
denly. One Of these may take a
paper because wife wants one, or the
children are jealous to read it, or
nelghbor persuades him. When it
begins to come, he dismisses all
thoughts about 1t further. If the ed.
tor sends man directly to him at
he end Of two or three years, he may
get some pay for his paper, but with
,rowls and surly looks. He never
pays any debt if he can get rid OF it,
Ind newspaper least of all Still he
lates lawsuits, and constables, and
Ill that. A dun has the same effect
IN him that bullet has on q hippo
,otamus-glancing from his hide, or
sinking into the blubber harmless.
He is alway sliding down hill, and
'ocn mergcs into another class, that
IF
TnE Nix Gun RousE.-No matter
low this man began his subscription,
lc never pays tor it-not he. He
10 MT like that sort of paper. It
10 MT give no news. He never did
ike it. He dill Mt want it III the first
place, and told the postmaster SO,
lie sent back one more than year
lgo-besides, he never began to take
t till long time after it came, and
le had Mt had only two or three of
hem, q: any rate, and those he had Mt
,ead.n Wipe him off.
Here comes the
ScRApEdRAcE.-It is enough to
'ay Of him that he never fails to have
! newspaper-two or three OF them.
When he thinks they have como
Ibout long enough for the publisher
o want pay, he sends back with
sstOn II 0r Ia faEas nm his nu0r