The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-06-23
ITT1TGROUS

/ NJ Who "act on the square 49,
-heu VIZ =, an and how weul'
The boy who undertook to ride horse
radlsh,~Is now practlcing on a saddle Q
mutton.
How can you get more than one hundret
cents for dollar? By investing 10 bottl,
CT perfume.
Women are as fond Of their glasses a
men-the only difference being shat ht
drinks out OF his while she looks into hers
An alarming symptom Of suffrage fever
Little girl-"There, dolly, you must lie
still! and sleep all day, cause I've dot to dc
+ and vote
The editor of Chicago chidren's paper
received letter from lady subscriber,
who writes: Our little Annie died last
week alter reading the last number of your
valuable paper.
1T is curious fact" says some etymol-
osist' that il is the female mosquito that
torments u.s."
There's moral taught by the following
/ conversation, which needs to be learned by
many fathers. Said little four year old:
Mother, father won't be III heaven with
US, will he?' why, my chilG?' Be
cause lie can't leave the store"
\ truly rural paper, speaking of the
potato bug, says this year eternal vigil
ance will be the price of potatoes.
Ny dear" SAID a rural wife to her hus,
band, on bis return from town, what was
the sweetest thing you saw in bonnets, in
Baltimore?' The ladies jaces, my
love"
A mother had repeatedly called her little
son to come and say his prayers, as it was
bed >time. Finally he stopped his play and
said, ~ hat Is the matter, mamma, is
God in hurry?'
Grandpa, did you know that the United
States has ceen in the habit of encourag-
ing tories7 ''What kind of tories?''
"Isrntorleo! Now give me some peanuts
or /! catch the measles"
\ young lady sent the following note to
her music teacher not long ago: Dear
Mrs. -, l wish " ~ s-.s-~.l 60
Taking a Lessin until Week from to
Day, as we will be So Buizzy an | wont
Have time to Praktes."
An epitaph on a husband and wife in
country churchyard, we are informed, con
cludes with a holy quotation meant to be
polite, but which certainly may be con
structed in two ways. Il is the following:
Their warfare is accomplished.
4 young couple bad been married by
Quaker, who after the ceremony remarked:
Friend thou art now xt the end of all
thy troubles" A few weeks after, the
young man came to the minister, boiling
over with rage his wife turning out reg
ular vixen. Il thought you told me [ was
at the end Of my troubles! 80 | did,
friend, but did not say which end. >
"Only Girl is TIE title of new book
just published Well, what did they want
twins?
The editor Of The Western Landmark
asks his readers to excuse the looks of his
paper, as he is in bed from the effects OF
fight with delinquent subscriber.
"Why is it, my son, that when you drop
your bread and butter it is always On the
buttered side?''
Il don't know. The strongest side
ought to be up, and this is the strongest
butter have ever seen.
cbnr,i ing nv nv bow 5S 1' "O"'
"Did she churn it? the lazy thing!"
''What! your aunt?
mo. this butter. To make the old lady
churn it, when it is strong enough to churn
its elf ;"
Hush, Zeb | have eaten much worse
in the most a. stocratc houses.
''Why people OF rank?
'CauSC 1t S rank butter.
\ gentleman whose prohoscis had been
lost was invited out to tea. Ny dear,
said the good woman of the house to her
httle daughter, Il want you to be very
particular and to make no remark about
Mr. Jenkins nose Gathered about the
table, everything was going on well; the
child pceped about, looked rather puzzled,
and at last startled the table: Ma, why
did YOU tell me to say nothing about Mr.
Jenkins nose? lie hash got any.
4 New Albany, Ind, man stood by while
an exciting fight was going on between two
women, every now and then exclaimlng:
Lick her, Betsey, lick her; you re my
wife, and it you don't lick her, L lick
you" Betsey obeyed her lord
"Bub, is your sister at homer"
"Yes, but she won't see you tonight. .
"W hy?'
Because she said she was going to have
one more mess Of onions, if she never got
another beau"
A New Albany girl wants to know
whether the women's rights movement in
| cludes the right to do the counting. fit
does, she is for it, as the men In her vlclni
ty are very bashful.
Milo, Of the Bouffes Parisiens, i:
| quite disconsolate il consequence OF the
! death of her daughter. who was only thres
years old. She said, sobbing, the othe
day, Poor thing, poor darling! Do YOU
remember how she would say, You b
4 do
Here is smile or two.-A lady in Ban
COR, Me, few days since sent her Hiber
Man maid of all work up stairs, with verba
instructions to take out and clean the win
dows. Shortly after the lady made a lou
Of inspection, and to her horror found tha
Bridget had dug ont every pane Of gas
aud neatly piled them on the floor.
In little town west a lady teacher Wa
exercising class of juveniles in ment;