The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1870-05-21
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There is a melancholy interest, ii
9 little affair that actually oocnrred NOT
&th0psand niles from Boston, o. short
tamegines. well-known clergyman re-
ceived ona morning an imperative sum-
monaito be In attendanca TO perform
tsthe ceremony" at the residence Of an
equally wel.known undertaken in the
evening. He went, accordingly, sup
posing, of course, that he was TO accom-
pany the man of grief to q house of
mourning, but was agreeably disappoint-
ed on finding the house lover the shop)
brilliantly lighted and filled with guests,
whom the undertaken proceeded to in
troduce, as follows: vr
''This is my intended wife, sir, Miss
Grape. shall marry her to night, if
you'll of1oiate."
"Certainly," replied the clergyman,
somewhat amused; ''aud these are your
friends to witness the ceremony?" look
ing round at the crowded apartment.
80, yes, you know many of them
allow me-this is Mr.. Bones, sexton of
st. Charles Church."
Mr.. Bones rose solemnly, and heaved
q hundred dollar funeral sigh as he
bowed to the minister.
"Mr. Mould, sexton of the brick
chapel"
Mould, who had q low cut-whito vest,
q large CLASSY white shirt bosom and
collar, q pale face and sunken eyes,
which gave him the appearance of being
''laid OUT" replied to the clergyman's 8
greeting with the usual sad shake of the
head he had practiced at funerals the
past twenty years.
''This," said the host. rs the indivi-
6n01 oha1 in ,r.1
down cast gaze, as if afraid Of disturbing
the silence of grief-stricken family
sitting in tho front parlor ut funeral,
this is Mr.. Black, the undertaken; I
believe you've met before" Black
bowed, and inclined his head sideways,
as if he expected the minister to whisper
some directions to him before proceed
ing with the service.
ALLOW me to make you acquainted
with Mr.. Stone, the sculptor Stone
griped the minister's hand rs he would
o mallet; he was proprietor of Stones
Monumental Works. Then followed in
Productions to the superintendents of
two cemeteries, q plate engraver, and
others more or less connected with the
grim business of the host, who after
finishing introductions, announced him
self ready for the marriage ceremony.
"You don't mind standing here and
using this black walnut case for table,
do you?" said the bridegroom; it was too
heavy to move, besides it's full of shrouds
and caps that we don't want to tumble. "
The minister acquiesced, and the twain
were duly united, after which, cake, wine
and conversation pervaded the company.
The clergyman congratulated the BRIDE
groom OH his bride. Eyes, " replied the
happy map, ''sho's been my house
keeper some time-nice woman-ain t
afraid Of dead folks
"Ah, indeed" said the clergyman,
getting little chilly down along his
backbone in spite of himself, and wish
ing to change the subject, he remarked
''Any news to-day, Mr.. Tressells?"
'News. no-that is, yes! You remem-
Der Merker. who jumped overheard and
drowned himself from ferry boat last
week?"
Eyes"
"Well, they found him this morning
in ten feet of water, and paving stones
i'll his pockets"
"Indeedl"
"Yes!- We're got him up stairs, if
you'd like to see HIM"
Not knowing what might come next,
the clergyman thought best to take his
departure, which lie did with qrare
demeanor suited to the occasion.
HADN'T J1NED 'EM YEr.-A rather YER