The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-08-19

A Little Review or the Various Me-
Mas That Some People Indulge In.

How fortunate it is that Congress or
the Legislature, or the Common Coun-
Gil have not established high stand
ard by which to gauge the sanity of
the citizens.
It is also Fortunate that we are not
all constituted judges Of our neigh
boris sanity, for if we were, the only
public buildings that would be need
ed, would be lunatie asylums; for,
Notwithstanding the scripture iDjunc-
ton to the contrary, / kew that all
men have at some time or other pro-
nounced their neighbors fools, and
most Of them qualify the decision
with an adjective that does not look
well in print.
In Illinois several years ago, the
Hon. @. V. Dyer. committee on puns
and punishments, of the third house
of the Legislature, introduced a bill
into that body, to provide proper pun
ishment for those who made fools of
themselves.
The minute the title was announced,
a member from Clinton County, arose
and denounced it as a revolutionary
measure, and said he had left Massa-
chusetts on account Of the attempt to
abridge his liberties, and he would
resist it in Illinois, to the bitter end.
A member from TazeWell County
said it was a privilege that he had en-
joyed under the territorial government.
and one that had been guaranteed
them as a part Of the privileges they
had enjoyed as the Territory Of Indi-
ana, and as the right in that State
had not been abridged, be would re-
sist it here.
Others opposed it as unconstitu.
tional, because it might interfere with
the free exercise of religion, and de-
prive people Of their innocent amuse-
ments. Hence it was defeated.
As / never heard of any statutary
provision for Furnishing fools in this
State, and for the further reason that
the privilege is SO literally exercised,
/ presume that no such penalty is
prescribed.
When Mrs. Elan DeGoIger insist
ed on naming her five boys James
Edward, Thomas Edward, Edward
Henry, John Edward, and Edward
William. Mrs. Cooley said she had q
mania for the name of Edward; yet
Mrs. Cooley had several daughters
named Mary Ann. Mary Jane, Rebec-
ca Jane, and Eliza Jane, and she was
as scrupulous about the exclusion of
contractions as If they were heresies,
but Mrs. Cooley refused to speak to
Mrs. DR.. G0lger for the space of a
week. because Mrs. DR.. G.. said her
girls were 'humbly" enough without
giving them them" names. The way
they became reconciled was: Mrs.
/. Tweed, a neighbor, had named her
boy William Henry Harrison McCul.
Tough Tweed; the boy died, of course !;
and then both ladies we're sorry they
had laughed at and called Mrs. 7. a
fool.
Another form of mania, akin to
that Of Mrs. Toodles in buying the
Thompsonian door plate, is that
which leads people to gather relics
until room In their houses resembles
a pawn shop; with a sword of
Major histleWaite, or some
other waiter, which, with about
999 others, is the only one left
the epauletts of General Bur-
stamp with the date 1910 in small
autograph letters of Washington,
Jefferson, and others, written on pa
per whose water mark shows il to
have been made quarter of q Gen.
fury after the death of the supposed
writer, and which eccentricities and
inconsistencies the maniacs are aware
of but unable to consider as in the
least impairing their value, and their
c0RclU ions may not be far wrong.
Another class are those young men
and women, who on slender incomes.
and much more slender intellect, en-
deavor to support a reputation for
being fashionably blue.
Yawning audibly in the middle of
a fine piece of music or song, and say
ing YEARLY: when 1 first heard
that, l thought it was pretty" Al
though as likely as not they could
not distinguish between "Old Hun
dred" and 'Old Dan Tucker" if it
were not for the words.
Perhaps you will excuse me for be-
ing little sore on this subject, for |
particularly hate this class of maniacs,
one of them having said few even
ings since, just as | finished an ex-
ceedingly droll story:
The first time / heard that /
thought it was funny"
The bare recollection of it makes
me so mad can write no more.
Yours,
EPHRIAM PUGsBY.