Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1870-06-17
r,.. JOSH BILLINss PAPERS

MARHIAGE.
= Marriage IL a fair transaction on the
face ov it.
But thare IL quite too often put up
Jobs In II.
Il IL an old institushun, older than
the pyramids, and az phull ov hyrgli-
phlcks that nobody kan parse.
History holds Its tongue who the
pair waz who just put on the silken
harness, and promised tew work In 1t,
thru thick and thin. up hill and down,
and on the level, rain or shine, survive
or perish, sink or swim, drown or
hote.
But whoever they wuz, they must
have made good thing out ov 1t, or
90 many ov their posterity would not
have harnessed up since and drove out.
Thare IL CRATE moral grip In mar
riage; 1t IL the mortar that holds the
soshull bricks together. q
But thare amt but darn few pholks,
who put their money In matrimony
who could set down and give a good
written opinyon viii on arth they cum
to did 1t.
This liz a CRATE proof that 1t IL one
ov them material kind ov acEsidents
that must happen, jist az birds fly out
oy the nest, when they hav feathers
enuff, without being able to tell why.
Sum marry for buty and never dis
cover their mistake; this IL lucky.
Sum marry for money, and-dont
see 1t. 9,
Sum marry for pedigree, and feel
big for six months, and then very SEN
si6ly cum tew the conclusion that ped
iSree amt no better than skim-milk.
Sum marry to please their relashuns,
and are very much surprised tew learn
that their relashuns don't care cuss
for them afterward. :.
Sum marry because they have bin
highsted sumwhere else; this IL cross
match, bay and q sorrel; pride may
make It endurable. .
Sum marry for love without a cent
In their pocket, nor friend In the
world, nor a drop ov pedigree. This
looks desperate. but 1t Is the strength
ov the game. - -
II marrying for love ain't success
then matrlmony Is dead beat.
Sum marry because they think wim-
men will be scarce next year, ana live
20 wonder how the crop holds out.
Sum marry tew get rid ov themselves
and discover that the game Is one that
two could play at, and neither win.
Sum marry the second time to get
even, and fluid 1t a gambling game, the
more they put down the less they take
sum marry to be happy, and not
finding It, wonder where all tho happi-
ness goes to when 1t dies.
Sum marry, they can't tell why, and
live, they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married, and
1t Is q good joke. ...s >.
Sum marry In haste, and then sit
down and think 1t carefully over.
Sum thirk 1t carefully over ftist, and
then set down and marry.
Both ways are right, If they hit the
mark.
Some marry rakes tew convert them.
This Is a little risky, and takes smart
missionary to do 1t. -,
Sum marry coquetts. This Is like
buying q poor farm, heavily mortgaged,
and working the balance ov your days
10 clear of the mortgages. .,r =.
Married life has Its chances, and this
Is Just what gives it its flavor. Every
boldly luvs tew phool with the chances,
bekauze every boldly expekts tew win.
But am authorized tew state that ev-
cry boldly don't win.
But, after all, married life IL ful az
certain az the dry goods Dizziness.
No man kan swear exactly WHARF he
will fetch up when he touches calico.
No man kan tell jist what calico haz
made up its mind tew do next.
Calico don't kno even herself.
Dry goods oy all kinds IL the child
ov circumstansis.
sum never marry, but this IL jist ez
risky; the diseaze Il the same, with no
other name to 1t.
The man who stands on the bank
shiyering, and dassent, Il more apt to
ketch cold than him who pitches hiz
he'd into the river.
Thare IL but few who never marry
bekauze they won't-they all banker,
and most oy them starve with slices Of
bread before them spread on both
sidess list for the lack ov grit.
Marry yung! IL my motto.
I have tried 1t, and kno what l am
talkin about.
II emmy boldly asked yu whi yu got
married (if 1t needs be) tell him yu
kant recollekt.
Marriage Il a safe way tew gamble
II yu win, yu win q pile; If yu loze,
-yu don't loze emmy thing, only the
privilege ov living dismally alone, and
soaking yure own feet. :,
Irepeat It, in italicks, marry yang!
Thare Il but one good excuse for a
marriage late In life, and that ia
second marriage.