Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1870-01-21
HUMORSOME.
A figure hesd-the msthematicial's s.
The panel gsme-drawing a jury.

A figure hesd-the msthematicial's.
The panel gsme-drswing jury.
The Woman Question-Is be rich,
The best flowers for Winter wear-Fur1e
The Yorkhouse song-Oak-um, oak-um, with
me.
Now opening for the Indis-go trade--the Suez
Cansl.
The New York Post says the times have gone
by for Thanking this is pre- pay post age
1.-The Hidden Hand" is popular play with
Western gamblers. 1t contains the three miss-
ing jacks.
Ladies wear so much false hair with their own
that it is difficult to tell which!is switch.
They call the girls in the Treasury Depart
ment who scissor sheets of postal currency
"Reyenue cutters
A London advertiser has L" fine airy rooms
with board, for gentlemen measuring 80 feet by
| IL"
Why is an overcoat like a bsbyl Because
one is what you wear, and the other is what you
was.
" How did you get so many greenbacks,
I Tom ." asked old cove of his acquaintance.
by rnHifing ambition"
Cashiers who mainly devote themselves to de-
filcarons, not financiers in general, but only
10 the abstract.
Philadelphisns are exssperated because u
Western man, on being asked what he thought
the most noticeable feAture Of their city, replied,
- Your dirty streets. -
The young lady who was infatuated with Ed
win Booths Hamlet would like to see another
] actor Feclter so.
An exchange says young Lopez came to Wash
ington to say that his father had not changed
his name to Slopez.
1t Is constantly reported that SAlusye is - Al
most beaten" Prentice says he is rapidly be-
coming - regular dead beat
- Great heavens - said barroom bully Of
Denver City, who shot a stranger for declining
to take drink with him, "Great heavens am
I never to come to Denver without being OBLIGED
to kill somebody ~
Sarah's Lover (loq "Ssrey If You
don't want to see me in the Life Guards a gong
on anyhow. and a-courtin' all the gals in Lun-
non, say you'll hs' me-say you'll ha' me -
A correspondent, after reading paragraph to
the etfec; that the Chinese are so fond of cats
and dogs that they ea; them, expresses a wish
that those Celestial sons would visit the back
laiu VI Ms uohA -uvuat hpoul ullIulEul
st Louis paper, speaking Of family in
New York that made fortune out Of Whiskey,
says they live on Twenty-third street, in a per-
fec; deiiriun tremeRs of splendor.
An English journal lkens the ignorance Of
some English officers to that Of an American
secretary Of the navy, who, it reports, once VI
tered his unfeigned surprise on going aboard Of
one Of his own ships in he expressive words,
why, the darned things hollow
Sir Robert Peel once presented a farmers
club in England with two iron ploEs Of the best
build. On his next visit, he found the old
plows with wooden mould-boaris again at work
" Sir. said member Of the club, " We tried
the iron, and we be all Of one mind that they do
make the weeds grow
There IS station on the Pittsburgh, Fort
Wayne, and Chicago Railroad called Hanna, in
honor Of q deceased citizen Of Fort Wayne
train stopped there the other day, and the brake
man, after the manner Of his class, thrust his
head inside the door and called out Hsnua -
loud and long A young lady. probably en-
dowed with the poetic appellaton Of Hannah,
supposing he was addressing her, and shocked
at his familiarity on SO short an acquaintance,
frowned like thunder cloud. and retorted,
" Shut your mouth n' He shut it,