Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1870-06-14
A Very Refined Clergyman, and
Mark Twain's Remarks Thereon.

In a recent issue of the Indepen.
dent, the Rev. L. D. De Witt Tai
madge. Of Brooklyn, had the follow
ing utterance on the subject of smells :
81 have good Christian friend,
who, if he sat in the front pew in
church and workman should enter
the door at the other end, would
smell him instantly. My friend is
not to blame for the sensitiveness of
his nose, any more than you would
fog pointer for being keener on the
scent than a stupid watch dog. The
fact is, if you had all the churches
free by reason of the mixing up of
the common people with the uncom-
mon, you would keep one-half of the
Christendom sick at their stomach
If you are going to kill the church
thus with bad smells, | will have moth
ing to do with this work of evangeli-
zation."
We have reason to believe that
there will be laboring men in Heaven :;
and also a number of negroes, and
Esquimaux, and Terra del Fuegans
and Arabs, and few Indians, and
possibly even some Spaniards and
Portuguese. All things are possible
with God. We shall have all sorts
Of people in Heaven; but alas, in get
ting them We shall lose the company
of one who could give more real "tone''
to celestial society than any other
contribution Brooklyn could furnish.
: And what would eternal happiness be
without the Doctor? St. Matthew
without stockings or sandals; St. Je.
rome bareheaded, and with coarse
blanket robe dragging the ground
st. Sebastian with scarcely any raj
ment at all-these we should see, and
should enjoy seeing them; but would
we not miss a spike tailed coat and
kids, and turn away regretfully, and
say to parties from the Orient "Theso
are we'll enough, but you ought to
see that Talmadgc, of Brooklyn"
fear me in the better world we shall
not even have DR.. Talmadgc's "gooC
Christian friend For if be was
sitting under the giorv of the Throne
and the keeper of tho keys admittc
a Ben niamin Franklin or other labor
ing man, that "lricnd," with his fin,
natural powers infinitely augmented
by emancipation from hampering flesh
would detect him with a single sniff
and Immediately take his hat ant
asked to be excused.
1t may be tina. here, in the nine
teentL century, Rev. 7. has had ad
. vantages which Paul and Peter AM
the others could not and did not have
!, They healed the very beggars, ant
Z Z held intercourse with people of vii
5 famous odor every day. If the SUI
! ject of these remarks had been chos
0 en- among the original Twelve Apos
ties, he would not have associate,
! with the rest, because he could no
have stood the fishy smell of some Q
! his comrades who came from aroun,
: the sea of Galilee. He would hav
resigned his commission with SOM
3 such remarksas he makes in the eS
! ! tract quoted above; Master, if tho,
!: art going to kill the church with ba,
\ smells, l will have nothing to do wit
: this work of evangelization." He
u a disciple, and makes that remark t.
S the Master; the only difference i;
: that he makes it in the nineteenth in
J, stead of the first century.
Is their a choir in Mr.. Us Church
: And does it ever occur that they hav
no better manners than to sing tha
hymn which is so suggestive of labor
crs and mechanics:
Son of the Carpenter receive
Ihls humble work of mine:
Now can it be possible that in
!" handful of centuries the Christia
. character has fallen away from a
imposing heroism that scorned eve
g the stake, the cross and the axe, to
. poor effeminacy that withers and will,
under an unsavory smell? We az
v not prepared to believe so, the Revc
end Doctor and his friend to the col
trary Notwithstanding.
p. T. Barnum told San Francisc
reporter that Anna Dickinson ha
= shamefully misrepresentcd the Mo
mons and some of their institutions.