The Portland daily press., 1870-12-03
selected = tory.
ABSENuE OF MIND.


and inspirations that his senses, seemingly,
are scarcely awake to the realities of the tan
gible world.
A certain Scottish professor was not more
remarkable for his writings on political econo-
my than for his frequent Inconsistencies of
What passed before him. His absence of
mind was 50 remarkable that his wife wager
ed that she would accost him in the street,
inquire after the health OF herself and her
flmily, and that he would not recognize her,
She actually won the wager. The professor
was once taking solitary walk on the banks
of a canal, into which, in his abstraction, he
walked. When within a yard of the centre,
an honest woman, washing clothes behind
him, bawled out, "Come DOT, come DOT, fule
body, or ven be droon't.' These warning
sounds invading the tympanum of his pro-
fessional ear, had the effect of making him
turn right about, and forthwith recover the
dry land. The good woman concluding him
to be an idiot, alphabetically exclaimed,
"Puir body, atweel they hae muclle to an
swer for that lets We gang yer lane.'
A friend tells the following amusing instance
of absense of mind. My grandfather was re-
turning home one evening faom the bayfield,,
driving his oxen before load of hay. He
had tied an old mare which he had been u.s.
ing, to the cart behind; but happening. to
think OF one of her favOrlte tricks Oh pulilng,
he united her again, and mounting, rode as
tride, still driving the oxen. lie Tell into
deep reyerie, as was his wont, in which balky
mares and all other vexatious sublunary
matters were banished from his mind. But
this serene state was suddenly broken up by his
happening to think, when near home, that he
had, when starting from the field, tied that
unruly beast to the cart behind. Entirely
forgetting the precaution he had taken. he
whirled about only to discover that she was
missing from the place; and, supposing that
she had pulled loose, he rode back at full gal
lop in search of the vixen. In the course of
half mile he met one of his neiehbors,
suffering fellow, to whom he called out to
know if he had seen anything of her. Be-
fore the man had half surmounted his tits
(perhaps from comical expression on his
facet, the the whole truth flashed into my
grandfathers mind, and he turned back at
at full speed, without waiting for a reply to
his inquiry, only eXclaimng, 'let her go, I'll
not leok her up" But it was too late for him
to save himself, and his neiehbors in the old
Vermont village never suffered the story to
be forgotten as long as he lived there.
We know of young fellow employed in a
store on River Street, who was one day sent
into the cellar to draw a gallon of sperm oil.
While waiting he snatched up piece of chalk
and in minute was absorbed in sketching
the proprietor's profile. The profile on the
hogshead was capital, but while the young
artist was absorbed in its pursuit, the
the oil pursued its way over the, cellar
floor. He was informed that he would not
do for merchant, but just now he is first
rate New York artist.
The following story is told of the absent
mindecness of clergyman of the Church of
Scotland. lie married late in life, and the
marriage tour was on the continent. At one
of the halting-places, Mrs. - retired to the
hymenial bower in advance of her lord, who
sat for time cogitating down stairs. Pres
emily he came to himself and summoning the
waiter, requested to be shown to his bed
room. He was of course shown to the loom
to which his wife had already retired. But
he forgot all about matrimony, and what it
involved, and reco;ling from the doorway
in horror, turned upon the waiter with angry
upbrading for showing him to a bedroom
already occupied by woman One Sunday
morning he was dressing in his bedroom, on
chair in which lay tray containing haf-a-
dozen shirts, starched with fitting clerical
stiffness. He progressed lesurely in his dress
ing till he came to attempt fastening his
wastcoat, when he found that operation i'm
possible. After many Intellectual struggles he
called his wife to his aid, who likewise found
the waistcoat difficulty insurmountabe. She
was at loss to explain the phenomenon, till
she happened to cast her eye on the shirt
tray. 1t was empty. The minister, in his
dozen shirts, one on top of another, and it is
no wonder that his waistcoat would not but
ton. On another occasion, he and his wife
were under invitation to dine at the mansion
of the laird of the parish. The minister had
been out for long days work, visiting his
parishioners, and when he came home, lit
tie late, he found the mistress already dressed
and waiting. He at once went up stairs to
make his toilet, with strict injunctions from
n 11a clo
that she got impatient, and went to see what
was the cause of the delay. Entering the
bedroom, she found the worthy man placidly
enjoying his first sleep. Having undressed it
seems that in his absence of mind he had
taken it for granted that the natural sequel
was to 60 to bed. and he lay, totally obvious
or the uftIicr-,arty tire irifdr.---
1t is said of Sir Isaac Newton that he often
forgot to eat his dinner, which his housekeep.
er was accustomed to leave in closet near
his study door. His head was tho much in
the heavens to mind the earth; so friend,
knowing his popularity, one day slipped his
dinner out of the basket and ate it up. When
at last the philosopher came out and greeted
his friend, he asked to be excused till he took
his lunch. On looking into the basket and
finding it gone, he simply exclaimed, much to
his trends amusement, "Oh, forgot had
eaten my dinner"
An absent-minded man, Mr.. A, of
Troy, receives letter; he knows the han d
writing-he wants to read it in haste-it is
already dark, he strikes light, tears paper
and lights lamp, but the letter is .gone-he
has used it to light the lamp.
There is late striking instance given of
Pere Gratry, who has just been nominated
director of an academy in Paris. One day,
when golug to the Sorbonne, where he lee
Z tHred on theology, he imagined he had for
gotten his watch, and took it out of his pock-
ct to see If he had time to 90 home and fetch
it.
1t is said of Neander, the learned lecturer,
and ecclesiastical historian of GERMANY, that
his sister had to watch him daily, to see that
he did not start to the university with his
nlght-cap on, or with his study gown and
slippers-and it was not uncommon for him,
when moving aside from the jostling crowd
in the street to step into the gutter, where he
walked on and on, seemingly unconscious
where he was stepping.
The following anecdote illustrates several
things, among others the presence of mind of
medical students, land the absence of ditto.
sometimes in cabmen: A medical student,
returning home late in cab, recollected, up-
on finding he had no money to pay his fare,
that he had dropped two sovereigns at the
bottom Of the cab. He told the cabman in an
agitated manner, of his loss, and begged of
him to wait till he got a candle to look for
but while falling over the chairs in search of
lucifer, he heard the cab go of. He ran to
the door, and, to his astonishment, saw the
cab galloping as fast as he could down the
street. He halloed, and called, and shouted,
but the cabman was so deaf that he could
not hear him. The medical student, how
ever, went quietly to bed. and, instead of
reproachipg himself for the deception he had
practlced on the cabman, he laughed heartily
at the ingenious way in which he had got
home for nothing,
A story is told of a very good elderly gen.
tleman, an affectionate husband and father,
who, upon fire breaking out in his home,
rushed across the street, and earnestly beg
ged friend who lived opposite to take care
of-his nightcap.
People have been known to throw glass
and crockery out Of first or second story
window in order to save it; when real valua-
bles and human life was in jeopardy. An
Old servant was dragged fainting from
house in flames. When she came to. she
said, "Thank goodness, I've saved thisn Now
what she had saved was paror broom.
-, IL is not everybody who can be as cool as
Inc Scotchman, who flung himself out of the
sixlh story ON hearing the cry OF fire. When
ne mad got half way down he found there
was no hTe at all, but seeing friend in the
Inc lhlrd story, looking out of the window.
saiu contelmplatvely, "Eh, Sandy. mon. sic a
A mllkman on the line of the Harlem rail
road was seen lately driving Jehu-like with
his milk wagon on four-mile heat tbinI liz
he would be too late for the train. The viz
layers stared as he rushed through the streets