Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1870-07-30
An Editor Plays Base Ball.

The delightful and tender game of
base ball having broken ont with fresh
virulence this season, the following
sketch is in order:
The doctor said we needed exercise
Doctor knows. He told us to join base
ball we joined. Bought book OF in
structions, and for five days studied it
wisely, if not too well. Then we bought
a sugar-scoop cap, a red belt, green
shirt, yellow trowsers, pumpkin-colored
shoes, paper collar, and a purple necktie,
and, with lot of other delegates, moved
gently to the ground.
There were two mines. These mines
were antagonists. The ball is pretty
little drop OF softness, size Of goose
egg, and five degrees harder than rock.
The two mines play against each other.
1t is quiet game, much like chess, only
little more chase than chess.
There was an umpire. His position
was a hard one. He sits on box, and
yells "toul." His duty is severe.
l took the bat 1t is murderous
plaything, descended from Pocahontas
to the head of John Smith. The man
in front of me was pitcher. He was a
nice pitcher, but he sent he balls hot.
The man behind me was a catcher. lie
caught it too
Umpire said ''play." 1t is the most
radical play know of, this base ball.
Saving cord-wood is moonlight rambles
beside base ball. So the pitcher sent a
ball towards me. 1t looked pretty
coming, so let it come. Then he sent
another. l hit it with the club, and
hove it gently upward. Then l started
10 walk to the first base. The ball hit
in the pitchers hands, and somebody
said he caught a fly. Alas, poor fly l
walked leisurely toward the base.
Another man took the bat. / turned to
see how he was making it, and mule
kicked me en- the cheek. The man said
it was the ball. 1t felt like mule, and
I reposed on the grass. The ball went
on
Pretty soon there were two more flies,
and three of us flew out. Then the
other nine came in, and us nine went out
This was better just as | was standing
on my dignity in the left field, hot ball
as they call it, came skyrocketin9
toward me. My captain yelled, "take
j !"
hastened gently forward to where
the ball was aiming to descend. l have
good eye to measure distances, and
saw at a glance where the little @rolitc
was to light. put up my hands. How
sweetly the ball descended Everybody
looked | felt something warm in my
eye. "Mufin ~ yelled ninety fellows
"Muffin be hanged It's a cannon ball y
For three days I've had two pounds
of raw beet on that eye, and yet ii
paineth!
Then l wanted to go home, but my
gentle captain said "nay." So | mayed
and stayed. Pretty soon it was my
strike. ''To bat - yelled the umpire.
went, but not at all serene, as was my
wont. The pitcher sent in one biz
high. 1t struck me in the gullet
''Foul," yelled the umpire. He sent il
the ball again. This time l took i
square, and sent it down the right field
through parlor window, a kerosene
lamp, and rip up against the head of al
infant, who was quietly taking its-nal
in his or its mothers arms. Then
slung the bat, and meandered forth tC
the first base. | heard high words, anC
looked. When l slung the bat, l haC
with it broken the jaw of the umpire
and was fined ten cents.
The game went on. liked it. 1t i
so much fun to run from base to bas,
Just in time to be put out, or to chase
ball three-fourths Of mile down hill
wi lie all the spectators yell 'Muffin 7
ego it !""home run !" "go round again =
or ego round dozen times !" Bas'
hall is sweet little game. When j
comes my turn to bat again, noticed
everybody move back about ten rods
The new umpire retreated twelve rods
He was tmid. The pitcher sent 'em il
hot. Hot balls in time of war are good
But don't like 'em too hot for fun. Ate
a while, got a fair clip at it, and yol
bet it went cutting the daises down tn
right field A fat man and dog sat II
the shade of an oak, enjoying the game
The ball broke one leg of the dog, an'
landed, like runaway engine, in tn
corporosity of the fat man. He wa
taken home to die.
Then went on a double-quck to the field
and tried to stop hot ball. 1t came towar'
me from the bat at the rate of nine miles