Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-31
Johnny Shrimp's Composition
ON BOATS AND noArMAk1Ne.

ON BOATS AND B0ATMAKING.
l like boats. When / am big
mean to have as many boats as l want
l once read a book written by Mr..
Sparrowgrass. He said that a boat
was good thing to have in the house,
especially if there be any water near.
l think so. too. Pa says he'll buy me
boat when he gets rich. He says he
is SO poor now he can hardly get
clothes to his back. He bought nice
new coat only last week. He says he
can't afford boat, though; he has to
buy cigars, and a new pew in church,
and John Barleycorn and other neces-
saries of life. l think boat is more
of a necessary of life than pew in a
church, any day. l wonder who John
Barleycorn is, and why he wants to
buy him. Aunt Jerusha says that if
that boy has boat he'll be sure to
tumble overheard, and be brought
home wringing wet, and dead as a
door nail, by the police, on shutter.
1t would be fun. The cops bring me
home by the coat collar or the ear. 1t
burts-I think a shutter would be
much better. l rowed Pa oyer to Ho-
boken once. Pa says it's good for
boys to row, and good for men to sit in
the stern of the boat and be rowed.
Sometimes boys have too much of a
good thing. 1 had it then. caught
crabs when rowing to Hoboken. l
caught 'em with my oar and they
knocked me eff the seat Pa said not
to care-it would make me grow to be
knocked over in the bottom of leaky
boat; it vets their trousers and makes
them feel sick. l don't call that grow
ing. don't like to bail out boats.
When the boat is leaky 1 take Dicky
Mopps with me. Hes hitler than |
am, and can make him do all the bail
ing. Once pa said he could not pay
the rent and must be arrested, and
who should he get to bail him out? l
said, "Dicky Mopps." "Pa said,
"Don't be fool!" Ma says that pa
sometimes asks very unreasonable
things of me and expects too much.
l like to build little steamboats,. Aunt
Jerusha says I used up all her spools
of cotton for cylinders and rigging. l
borrowed some of the wheels once
from the kitchen clock to make machi-
merry, and the clock has never went
since. Ma found it out and told Aunt
Jerusha that | had wonderful talent
and would make good mechanic. But
when l took needle and some other
things out of her sewing-machine, ma
said ought to be whipped soundly. l
don't see why one thing don't show as
much talent as the other. Aunt Je-
rusha says 1 am dragging her to an
early grave, because l took the old
glasses out of her spectacles, and her
old thimble and pill boxes and the top
of the tea-kettle to make up the things
for my boat. She says she'll tell pa.
Pa says my boat is very nice. So |
didn't tell him l cut out the hull with
his razor, and made the sails out of
piece of his shirt. Pa says the wash
erwomen are very careless. One of
them washed the back all out of his
shirt. l think stiff shirts makes very
good sails. / mean to make a good
many boats, and 1 know boy whose
father keeps watch store, and has
lots of little wheels and things. That
boys name is Spriggins-Hank Sprig-
gins. I gave him an apple to-day. 1t
was sour and didn't want it. l mean
to make up to Spriggins and see if he
won't give me some clock works. He
can get some from his pa. 1 often get
things from pa without bothering him
by asking him beforehand. take 'em,
II saves trouble.