The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-07-09
sAnY sou RNAL
B4IURDAY, July 0. 1870.
Pith and Point.

KIM anu EUAMss
Though men boast of holding the
Teins, the women generally tell them
which way they must drive.
"A. writer in the Galaxy exhorts
the public not to get excited over ed
itoriai qnarrels. He says the New
York editors motto is Hamlet's: II
will speak daggers, but use none"
The author of a novel. just out,
wishing to say that her heroine open
ed her mouth, thus expresses herself:
The pretty coral doorkeepers of her
words gave way, and low mockiDg
laugh y from them"
Father" said 4 roguish boy, Il
hope you won't buy any more gun
powder tea for mother" why not ~
because every time she drinks it
she blows US III" go to bed immeid-
ately you've staid up long enough. 7"
An epitaph on a husband and
wife, in a country church, We are in
formed, concludes with a holy quota
ton meant to be polite, but which may
certainly be construed In two ways. 1t
is the following: Their warfare is
accomplished"
Mother" said little girl who
was engaged in making her doll an
apron, II believe shall be duchess
when I grow up" How do you ever
expect to become a duchess, my
daughter?" her mother asked. why,
By marrying a Dutchman, to be sure, I"
the girl replied.
MARY Magdalen had seven dew
lis cast out of her. / never heard of
a man having seven devils cast out of
him. growled a cynical old bachelor,
In the course of q discussion on the
woman question" mo. they are not
cast out yet, I believe" was the quiet
response of his fair antagonist. T
A clergyman. having called up
class of girls and boys, began with
one of the former In these words:
NV dear child, tell me who made
YOUR vile body2" She had no idea of
the question applying TO anything be
yOpd her personal appearance,
please, sir, mother made the body,
but made the skirt"
An attorney presenting copy of
a writ to an anctioneer, appologiZed
for his unfriendly visit, as he was
merely performing an unpleasant du
ty of his profession. Certainly not,
said the auctioneer, you must attend
to the duties of your profession, and
so must [ to mine, and instantly
knocked him down.
An author, reading his drama in
the green room. remarked that he
knew nothing so terrible as reading a
piece before such a critical audience.
An actress present said she knew
something much more terrible than
that" What is it2' exclaimed the
author. ITO be obliged to sit still
and hear it." she replied.
An Afternoon Tea. "a Frag-
ment) = "Dr Smoothman is quite
ladies' doctor" observed Mrs. Faint
away. so NIGEL" said one lady. so
chattyl" said another. Never pres
cribes Dasty things" said a third.
"Ohl he's a duckl" cried an enthusi-
astic young matron. You mean
quack," growled her husband, who
had, just seen the doctors bill for one
ears attendance.
"A young lawyer is teaching a
class of young ladies In a Danbury
Sunday school. On a recent Sunday
the subj act of the lesson being de
ception," one ofthe girls read from
reference, thus: "And-all-lawyers
-Qiars)-shall-have their portion
in the lake which burns with fire and
birthstone. The teacher remarked,
THAT is not exactly King James's
version, but it is so nearly correct you
can let it stand, if you please.
Children hear new words, and of
ten use them with little idea of their
true meaning. They are frequently
blamed for doing, or not doing
things when their little minds have by
DO means comprehended the words
employed in giving them directions.
Mamma" said a wee child one Sun
day evening, after having sat still in
the house all day, like good child.
have I honored you to-day ?" Il don't
know" replied the mother. wonder
ingly; why do you ask? ?" Because"
said the little one, shaking her head
sadly, the Bible says, Honor thy ia
Their ADD thy mother that thy days
may be long, and this has been, oh,
the longest day [ ever saw"