The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1870-10-13

i knew HIM. IL was years ago. HIS
name was-well call him Bumps. II you
ever get into railroad struggle, where one
struggles to get another of the track, you
will know more about Bumps, or your
friends will. This Bumps was nice young
man. His hair was always cOmbed
down; he wore brass buttons; and there was
mysterious report current that he had been
known to call ON the sherry" for three, on
the Fourth Of July, and actually paid for it
paid for it, sir? We held him in awe, We
boys did. He could talk about lever watches,
pointer dOgs, steam barges, and could relate
incidents Of difficulties in the prize ring 20
beautifully that used to wish to knock some
one in the stomach, and break some ambi-
tious Englishman's jaw bone. II Bumps
said anything the whole town svore that il
was 50. Ii he did no, say anything We stood
back and waited for Developments.
At last he went away. His uncle used his
influence to get him q position as baggage
master. never heard Of him afterwaras
but l was called one day to see him die. i
went with great pleasure. Bumps was .
mere skeleton; his eyes were like saucen;
his hair was all worn of from rearing around
in the bed. lie told me all about il. He
drove everybody out Of the room, made me
string up my nerves to hear mOurnfal tale,
and then he commenced. He went On the
| railroad 4 pure young man. He took charge
Of trunks and boxes, and commenced BY
lifting them by the handles, and setting them
down carefully. He had not served mOnth
when the President Of the road called
him into his office, cut down his salary,
and told him if there was any more COM
plant from the conductor, Bumps would
Be bumped ont Of berth. Then the young
| man grew cold and stern. He was bound TO
| suit the railroad corporation or die. He be-
gan by walking up to a poor old chest be-
longing to an orphan and putting his foot
through the corner; the conductor saw the
| act; the two shook hands, and they wept for
| hours on each others breasts. Bumps had
not made two trips before he could sling .
satchel eleven rods, retaining both handles
| in his grasp. Innocent owners Of such things
| threatened him, and commenced suit against
him, and swore they would never ride on
that road again; but bumps was firm. He
was dignifed; he was solemn; he WINS work
ing for higher sphere; he Was treading in
the path Of duty. .r.s-L
When gentle females would hand up their
tender Little baskets and satcheks Bumps
would smile diabolical smile, and he would
get in corner and jump ON the articles and
toss them up and kick them, and ding them
through ethereal space. And when the train
stopped, he would throw ont waterfall and
a toothbrush to answer the call for check
..22" Husbands struck at him, and dared
him out Of his den, and called him base
fiend, but Bumps was solemn. He knew hin
line of business. When he got hold of q
nice trunk he would carry q cOnntenace like
a strawberry for joyfulness. He would jerk
off one handle, then another, then kick in
the ends, take an axe and smash the lock,
and then he would let the shirts and things
rattle out On the track. 1t got 50 at last that
people actually paid high prices for the priv.
iiege Of living along the line Of that road, n
their shirts for nothing. All that wa
needed was to have the children follow vi
Bumps train.
But there came black day. A miserable,
contemplate, sneaking wretch, who owned !
saw-mill and nail factory, went travelling
lie ran his factories two weeks on nothing
hut trunk stuff, and he brought out the wick
eldest trunk that ever went into car. Il
was seven feet thick all round, and ther,
were sixteen nails driven in, one On the tor
Of the other, until the thing was clear proof
Then he gave it into Bumps hands, charg
ing him To be ''careful if he pleased tn,
train started. Bumps got the axe, as usual
and struck at the lid, but the axe bosindet
back. lie struck once more; the axe flew
in pieces. Then he got u crow-bar ant
can Of powder, but he couldn't burs
nail. lie swOre and jumped up ant
: down, and wanted tn die, and wished
he'd never been born. lie got all tn
train men in; they allpounde,i, but the trnnl