Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-06-09
CAVALIER DOGS.'
" ark Twain's History of the Founder
OF The Family Y and his Descend nts.


When Noah disembarked at Ararat, he
had scarcely touched the pier when he pro-
ceeded to rally his passengers. He had
just checked his last item in the list-a Mr..
and Mrs. Redbug when the cringing fig
IRE OF quadruped came sneaking down
the ,gang.plank with bis tail between his
legs s"Drat, 1t, II there amt that yaller
dogH says Noah, aiming vicious kick with
his brogan at the brute, But, with facil-
ity born of long and bitter experience, the
brute lodged the pr5i- tile, and ejaculat-
ing 'ski-yi, which 40 Syriac for declined
with thanks" or mot for Jo, he disap-
peared, while Noah who had his sea-legs
on, was unable to recover his equilibrium,
and sat down with emphasis on the back
of his head.
Noah arose, and, in accordance with the
style prevalent among the patriarchs, he
proceeded to soothe bis affronted dignity
by pronouncing variegated anathema
upon the yaller dog, which had character
istically sneaked unobserved on board in
the confusion of putting to sea, and cap
sized the captain at the first port. He
cursed that dog in body, NIB, bark, hide,
hair, tail, and wag, and ali mis- generations
relations, and kindred, By consequently or
affinity, and his heirs and assigns. He
cursed him with endless hunger, with per-
petual fear, with perennial lazlness, with
hopeless mango, with incessant feas, and
with his tail between his legs. He closed
his stock OF maledictions by sparkling
display c. pyrotechnics, from the democrat
izing effect OF which the yaller dog has
never recovered
With this curse sticking to him like a
revenue stamp, the yaller dog can't help
being "cussed." he don't try to help it.
He follows Noah's programme with sneak
ing fidelity. He is an l> naelite among
dogs. He receives the .uost oppressive
courtesies in the form Of brickbats boots
and hot water, which make his life an ami
mated target excursion. He boards around
like district school-teacher, and it is meal
time with him "a hours in the day. The
rest of the time he bankers after something
to eat. He is too omniverous for an cpl
cure. Cram him at Delmomico's, and he
would hunger for dessert from an Albany
boarding house.
He cant be utilized. He is too tired
As swill-cart locomotive, hunter, or a
sentinel, he is an ignominious failure. The
dog-churn was strategic attempt to en-
ploy his waste energies, but he hadn't any
waste energies, and butter had too much
self-respect to ''come" at his persuasion
So the dog-churn was dropped.
No sausage maker dare foreclose his lien
on the yaller dog, lest his customers-no
longer "soothed and sustained by an I'M
faltering trust transfer their patronage
to some less audacious dealer The saw
ages, who admire baked dog, and who can
even attack tripe and explore the myster-
les of hash without dismay, acknowledged
the yaller dog to be too much for their gas
trio intrepidity.
He always manages to belong to rag
ged, tobacco chewing whisky drinking
master. whose business is swapping dogs
and evading the dog tax. The yaller dog
is acquainted with himself and he enjoys
the intimacy with edifying contempt. He
sinks along through lie, on diagonal
dog-trol, as in doubt as to which end of
him is entitled to the precedence. He is
always pervaded by a hang-dog sense OF
guilt, and when retributive tinware is fast
ened to his tail, he flies from the wrath
to come" with Mortified celebrity which
ought to be very suggestive to two legged
sinners of similar ordeal in store for him.
The yaller dog is-well, to speak in ital-
les he is q sLOMch