Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-05-10
A Fashionable Call.
Lae2acH for HaG25sO7'jsts.

w nat IS the QlHeronce between IallInG SCar
and fog. One is missed in heaven, and the
other is mist on earth. 8
81 will preach from dat portion Of de scrip
ture dis evening, said colored dominic, 'whar
de 'postle Paul pints his pistle at de 'phesans.
Missouri has pupil in the primary depart
ment of a public school 10Y years old. He is a
colored youth, and cries because the other chill
dren won't play tag with him.
Southern negroes, when they get new pair
of pants, are in the most intense agony until
the garment is ripped up the leg SO they can
hear it flop when they walk. g $3.50 ia 81
A Florida algator's post morton revealed
several buttons marbles and top in his
stomach, and neighboring family thinks it
knows where its missing little boy went to-.
A Tilted swain spitefully says: s'Eve did not
know as much as her daughters of the present
day. Had they been in her place, instead of
being deceived, they would have deceived the
devil. .s5e .r.s.
A girl at Olympia, Washington Territory,
threw some blasting powder In the fire. place,
supposing it to be coal. They had to send
eighteen miles, for lumber for the coffin, it was
so scarce there.
A California paper gives the following as a
regular bill of fare at a Chinese restaurant IN
that city Cat Outlet % cents; Griddled Rats,
cents; Dog Soup, II cents; Roast Dog, is
cents Dog Pie, 6 cents. y
At Fort Wayne, Indiana, when women begin
to run around the streets bareiooted, people
know that ''spring has come gentle Annie. =
Talking about feet, an Indiana woman thai
can't show foot thirteen inches long is hooteC
out Of society.
At Sydney, Ohio, young woman went int
store and asked for feline intestines for Tyr
ical PURPOSES He said he was out of them
but had some mighty good cat-gut fiddle strings
She tainted, and had to be carried out on 6
revenue stamp. Such is life.
The Texas magistrate who postponed cas-
for TWO weeks, in order to find out whether tht
State was in or out of the Union, was one o
your careful kind In the meantime the citi
zens hung the horse thief that was going to b.
tried, because they hadn't any Jail.
A young married couple In Wisconsin tow
lately began housekeeping, and the first pur
chases of the head of the family at the village
grocery were FIVE cents worth of soda, FIVE
cents worth of salt, two cents worth of pep
per, one cents worth of chewing gum, anc
twelve cents worth of soap. The bill amount
ed to twenty-five cents, which was paid by thu
young Benedict in specie and as he left tht
house is cheaperIhan boarding.
= --~A---
q A far western marriage ceremony, thirty
years before the Pacific Railroad had annihila
ted the Ear West, has thus been described to
US:
SCENE Potato feld-The magistrate in his
shirt sleeves, busily plying the hoe Enter two
candidates for matrimony, who follow him
closely along the row. The magistrate at frs
naYS no attention to them,
BE you the Squire, the youth asks
'Yes," and the hoe rises and falls faster
than ever
1--WE want to be married T. the youth des
perately exclaims.
Thus admonished, the twain follow him anx-
iously along, hand 10 hand, until the end of the
row is reached
'sTwenty-sevea. twenty-eight Now, derr
you, stand up here!'' and the Squire leans
for the moment upon his hoe handle
DO you Ito the YOUTH solemnly swear, by
thunder, to take this woman for your wife 2
Eyes"
DO you Ito the girD solemnly swear, by
thunder to take this man for your husband p
Yes
''Then, | swear, by thunder, you are man
and wife