Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-08-12
Answers TO Correspondents.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.


"THoMAs. Jordan is hard road To
travel" kant tell you who waz the in.
ventor of this saying, some foot sore cuss
probably, who waz too lazy to keep a
hoss and Wagon.
FERDINAND" "-"Man wants but little
here belo, nor wants that little long" is
noel; man todnts everything he can see, or
near ov, and never is willing to let 90 of
hlz grao: whenever yu find man who is
thoroughly satisf1ed with what he has got.
yu will find either an ideot, or one Who
hsz tried hard to git some more and
couldn't do it. The older a man grows.
the more wantful he bekums, az hiz hold
on life slackens, hiz pinch on a dollar
grows grippy.'
MARCUS. "-"If man asks for bread,
VIII yu give him stun," IL Bible cues.
tlon, and IL fair one. l have known
folks to give bread that waz stonev. That
IL as near az l kan answer the question
now.
"HERoD:"- that puts small value
on his services, issues proposals to the
lowest bidder. When yu make a request
of divine Providence, it is bsst TO he
modest, If yu expekt to git what WI ask
for, but there is so little modesty in the
world, between men, that when we cum
across 1t we mistake it for ignorance, or
imbecility. Yu will often see little bows
ketching flies, and killing them Just for
tun, but you don't see them ketch hornets
Just for fun. The sting in the hornets
TALL ls what makes him respectable.
MILLER "-Yu have got it right the
fust time, ingratitude IL one OF them
crimes that every body sticks up their
noze at, 1t is the worst insult we can Civ
or receive, it lets man drop down belo
the level of the dunn brutes, for the vel.
lowest and meanest dog in the United
States wags hiz tail if yu throw him but
a burnt crust What an awful thought it
IL, that ingratitude IL the common sin
against God.
MATILDA kissing liz one oy the
rudiments; babies are learnt it instead oy
the alphabet, but they don't understand
the strong points in it, yet they seem to
luv it without knowing why; this iz a
bricky argument that kissing is one nv
natures most natural noshuns. kant tell
you whether thare is emmy particular
etiket to be observed in administering a
kiss or not. Between lovers it is sum
times usual to kiss and hang on, but it
strikes me that the best way is to cum up
front face, in single file, then fire and fall
back one pace; this gives the patients
chance tew get the flavor. The great buty
oV KISS lies In its impulsiveness, and its
impressibility, two big words, but worth
the mummy.
haven't done emmy thing in the kiss.
ing line (ov an ameteur natur), of late
years, and there may be some new dodge,
that | amt posted in, but the old fashion.
ed, 20 years ago kind, remember fresh,
that kind don't hev emmy mathematics in
IL, but was more like spontaneous COM
bustion. IN
kissing, as general thing, IL not very
interesting to bystanders, and IL sumtimes
even looked upon, by third party, az
uncalled for.
"WARwIcK." ."-"He that giveth tew the
poor, lendeth to the Lord;" if yu had
read yure Bible ez much ez / hev, yu
wouldn't hav asked me if Shakespeare
wrote this remark.
Charity IL az mutch ov a privilege az it
IL duty, and lending to the Lord il uA-
doubted security for any mans mummy.
he that gives nothing away while liv-
ing, dies bankrupt, and his estate is
generally settled by hiz heirs, a good
deal az the crows settle dead hoss-by
pitching into the remains.
Thare IL many folks whose hearts bile
with charity, but whose extremitys are
cold, half dollar kontracts to q three
cent piece by the time it reaches the end
ov their fingers.
"GhDAD."-Yure juicy letter haz ques-
tions enutf teW make q district school
master faint, and If should answer them
all, yu would be faller ov edukashun than
an aulmanak. 3D." Hia e..'.E r.
Who the author of the saying, "the
good die yung," was, / don't care, but
will remark, If that IL good bet, the
younger q man can die the better, and not
tew be born at all, is a ded sure thing.
Again, az it regards the number ov
years that kat kan live, that depends en-
urely upon circumstances, they kant
live over Sunday with me-
".ABKL."-Yu kant pick out hypo-
krite by his looks emmy more than yu kan
fat oyster by The shell; they are fire.
quenty like an old musket laid away up
garret, hav often been known to let oph
charge that had been sleeping with one
eye open for years. They are like silver
plated forks, wear well for long time but
are sure to show the odIous brass at
last.
"HANNIBAL."-Giving presents with
the hope ov receiving presents in return
takes away awl the cream ov giving OF re-
ceiving; it is like swopping skim.milk
for milk that has been skimd. .
"MERcURY."+" Owe for a lodge in
sum vast wilderness" waz the private
opinion oY Mr.. Cowper, one ov the very
few men who have lived yet who waz
pure enutf tew monopolize woods with
out emmy company put hiz soul and the.
God who made it. Most people holler for
solitude without thinking that ID il
thickly settled place, full ov memorys
Solitude IL the last place for q good man
to go TO, and the only place that wicked
man can't live in. Even wild beasts
don't like solitude, and luV to see the
smoke OF chimney. Solitude in small
doses IL all well enuff, but % miles squar
NV it would make most men either a coun.