The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-06-02
HUMOROUS.
& nap-sack-A pillow case.

& nap-sack-A pillow case.
The spring-time Of life-Our dancing
days.
How Is it that Adam was provision
dealer! lie disposed OF a spare rib.
Why Do hens lay eggs in the day time?
\ c5temp0rary ans 1ers, Because at night
they are ro0sters.
II an Illinois graveyard an image Of a
pet dog Is cut on q tombstone, with the
words underneath "Of such IS The kingdom
OF heaven. "
Drowning men vii catch at straws. "
30 vii drunken men.
Why IS musquito ike railroad? Be
cause It iaatens on the sleeDers.
Il can't bear a fool, said a lawyer to a
farmer. our mother could, replied
he farmer
4 Kentucky paper thinks that the word
croquct IS too Freachy, and proposes that
the game which It de-ignates be hereafter
callel Presbyterian billiards. -
4 'It,le boy FIVE years old vas found by
biz mother smearing himself with dirt, and
when asked what lie was doing, replied:
Why, you told he that God made lie Of
dirt, and I'm l..ing up the holes that he
left.
How did sou spend Good Friday-in
modification y requ.red!' said one French
man to his friend. Yes, replied the
latter with a sigh, | remained at home
with - wife the whole day
when he shot at lie the third time, .
said California tcamster, Il began to
think he meant business, so up with NY
rife and put bullet through his head. :"
Bib Jones'" said bullying urchin to
another lad, next time | catch you alone
III fcg YOU like anything" well, !"
replied Bill, Il amt always much alone
| commonly lave my legs and fists with
me.
\ new minister at New Bedford took a
stroll before breakfast on the first Sunday
he was there, and after walking q dozen
blocks was accosted by shabby-looking
citizen, who had been watching him, Y on
need NOT look any further, there amt a
ID saloon open,
\ new physiological discovery has been
},
pulse OF young ladies' beats stronger in the
palm ot lie hand than at the wrist. As to
more elderly females, even little boys
know h. ste.n experience that the palm Of
the m2.olua. hand beats awful strong.
An a2o.hecary's boy was sent to leave at
ono house 4 box Of pills an at another six
live fowls. Confused on the way, he left
the pills where the fowls should have
gone, and the fowls at the pill place. The
to.S5 who received the fowls were astonisn-
ed t reading the accompanying directions:
Swallow oae every two hOursl'
\ preeocious little girl, after studying
iH.autly Tor some time a chrome picture of
tie Nagaalcn reclining on her face and
weeping, suddenly turned to her mother
and exclaimed, with great animation:
Mamma, / know why Mrs. Magdaen is
crying. It IS because Mr.. Magdalen does
not buy her clothes enough. "
Why, Bridget" said mistress, who
wished TO rally her girl for the amusement
OF her company upon the fantastica. orna-
mcntation Of a pie, why bless me! did you
60 this? You arc quite an artist; how did
you 90 it!'' Indeed, mum. it was meself
that done H. replied Bridget; ain it
purity? Faith | did i. wild yer false teeth,
num-
"Parson, | had much rather hear you
preach, said bafiied, swindling horse
jockey, than see you interfering in bar
gains between man aud man." "Well,"
said the par>on, If you had been where
you ought 70 have been last Sunday, you
would lave beard me preach" ''Where
was tha?' inquired tie horse Jockey.
in tie state prison." returned the cler-
gyu.&a.
We heard joke recently on two Ports
mouth orummegs: u bile passing a house
in \ ir-inJa, they observed a very peculiar
chimney, unfinished, and it attracting their
attention, they asked faxcri> haired ur>
chm standing near the house if it 'drawed
well, Hhercupon the aforesaid urchin
gave them the singing retort: Yes. it
draws the attention Of all the ID fools
that pass this road.
WHY" said Miss Anna Dickinson. on
one occasion, stepping forward to the foot
lights, and commencing a lecture with
lofty fight Of eioquenoe, "Why was |
bora: SIZE paused, and thrill ran thro'
the audience. Again the rich tones Of the
WIN me- woman rolled the question; 'Wbv
vas l loru2' And again She paused, that
the due impression might be made upon
her hearers, before she answered her own
question. why was | born?" she asked
once more, in touching ard painful accents.
when a wicked boy in the gallery shouted:
I give it up!'
\ common sense anecdote is this: A
Mrs. Somebody said to her husband:
John, do you think we will know each
other in keaveu?" Yes. Do sou ey-
pect we shall be bigger fools there than
herc?'
Some new handles for coffns have been
invented OF an unique and improved
pattern, and an uD-country undertaken
purchased some Of one Of our city dealers
IN hardware, comirg again in a short time
Tor more. SO they Ike them, do they?''
said the igon-monger. Like emp" re
Piled the shadow Of death; Il guess thew
do-they so like hot cakes.-n0body II be
buried nov without en-.
\ Detroit negro prisoner, on his way TO
the pcnl'entiary for larceny, was asked
what lie thought Of his trial. He said.
w hen DAT lawyer dat Tended me made
his speech, thought dat | was gwan to
take NV ole hat and walk rivht ort ~ ], =