The Van Buren press., 1870-03-15
The Distrikt Skoolmaster.
~ JOSH BlLLINGo.

Thare IL enc man in this basement world
that l always look upon with mkt feelings
ev pity and respect.
But thare iz enc man in this world te
whom alwus take oph mi hat. and remain
uncovered until he gets safely BY, and tha
10 the disrikt sknolmastsr.
When l meet him. look upon him a,
marter Just returned from the stake. or on
his way thsre to be cooked.
He leads a more lonesum and single life
than an old bachelor and = more anxious
one than an old made.
He " remembered just about as long and
af1scktionately az glide board iz by travel
ing pack ..psddlar.
II he undertakes tew make hiz scholers
Inv him the chances are he will neglec;
their larnin and il he don't lick them now
and then pretty often, they will soon lick
him.
The distrikt skoolmaster amt go; a
friend on the fat hide ev earth. The boys
SNOWFALL him during recess. the girls put
water in his hair die. and the skool commit
tse make him work for half tho money a
bartender gits, and board him around the
asberhood where they give him rhy coffee,
swectened with molassss, tew drink. and
goldfish bawls three times day for vttles,
And with all this abuse. never heard
ov . distrikt skoolmsster swearing any
thing louder than-Condemn it.
Don't talk tcw mo about tho pashuncs
Of anshunt Job. Job had pretty plenty ov
bilss oil over him, no doubt. but they were
awl ov one breed.
Every young one in distrikt school IL
bile ov = different breed, and each yung
ono needs different kind Of poultiss tew
get good head on them.
A distrikt skoolmaster who duz asqusre
job takes his Goldfish balls rcvently. IL a
better man to-day tew hav Icing around
loose than Solomon would be. srrsyed in
oil his glory,
Solomon was better at writing proverbs
and managing q large family than he would
Be tew navigate a distrikt school house.
Emmy man who hsz kept distrikt skool
for ten years, and boarded around the ma
hcrhood. ought t, Be made maj or general
,and have . penshun for the rest ov hiz
natral days and hoss and wagin tew dew
4hix going around in.
But AZ general consequence . distrikt
,sksslmaster amt got no more warm friends
than an old blind iox hound haz.
He il just about az welkum AZ tax.
sSathsrsr il.
He iz rsspekted a good deal AZ . man il
whom We owe debt Of SO dollars tew and
don't mean tsw pay,
lie goes through life on backroad. ~
posr ~ wood sled, and finally is missed
but wqas ever bskums Of hiz rsmane'
kant tell.
Fortunately. he iz net often sensitive
man; it he was he couldn't emmy more KEEP
. distrikt school than he could file kros'
kut saw.
Viii il il that ssthese men and wimmin
who pashuntly, and with craxed brane
teach our rsn,orseless brats the tejus mean
ing Of the alphabet. who take the first weld
ing heat on our destinyes. who lay the step
ping stone and encurridge them to noun
upwards. who have don more hard an,
mean work than sAny klass on the fu.stool
who have prayed ovee the reprobate
strengthened tho timid, restrained the ous
ragsous and fls,terea the imbecile. who ha'
lived on kodfish and vile coffee, snd hahn
bssn heard to swear-whi iz it that the!
ere treated like vsgrant fiddler. danced 1
for night and paid oph in the morning
sai eagerly forgotten?
| had rather burn coal pit or keep th
Ays out ov butchers shop in the mont,
Of August than msddls with the distrik
school bizxness.