The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-04-14
The Ant.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

Tie Ant.
by JOSH BILLINGS.
The ant is a menny footed insekt.
They live about one thousand five hum
dred and fifty of them (mOre or less), In
the same hole in the ground, and hold
their property in common.
They have no holy days, no eight-hOur
system, nor never strike for emmy higher
wages.
They are very cheerful little tOilers,
and have no malice, nor back door to their
hearts.
There IL no ssdentary loafers among
them, and yu never see one out ov job
They Git up ariy, 90 tew bed late, work
all the time, and eat on the run.
Yu never sec two ants argueing sum
phooIish question that neither of them
didn't understands; they didn't kare
whether the moon liz inhabited or not; nor
whether fish weighing two pounds, put
into a pail ov water already phull, will
make the pail slop over or weigh more.
They amt hunting after the philoso-
piers stone, nor Citing crazy over the
cause of the sudden earthquakes.
They don't care whether Jupiter is thirty
or thirty-fi millions of miles up in the
air, nor whether the earth hobs around on
its axes or not, SO long as it didn't bob
! over their korn krlb and spill their barley.
They are simple, little bizzy ants, full ov
| faith, working hard, living prudently,
committing no sin, prazeing God by mind
| ing their own bizzness, and dieing when
| their time comes, tew make room for the
| next crop Ov ants.
They are reproach tew the lazy, an
encouragement tew the industrious, a re-
| buke tew the vicious, and study tew the
Christian.
If you want tew take lesson in arkitek-
ture, go and set down hi the side Ov their
hole in the ground, and wonder how so
menny kan live SO thick.
| If your pashunes needs consolashun,
watch the aunts and be strengthened.
If man had added tew his capacity the
pashunes and grit ov theze atoms ov ami
mated natur, every mountain on the buzz
yum ov the earth would, before this, have
| bin leveled, and every inch of surface
would scream with fruitfulness, and
countless lots ov human critters would
have bin added tew the inhabitants ov the
universe, and bin fed on corn and other
sass.
have sot by the hour and a half down
near an ant-hill, and marveled have Won
dered at their instinkts, and hav thought
| how big must be the ijackass who was sat
| isfied to believe that even an ant, the least
Ov the bugs, could hav bin created, made
| biZZy and sot to work by chance.
! oh, how do pity the individual who
behaves that all things here are the work
| ov an acksidentl He rObs himself Ov all
pleasure on earth and all right in heaven.
/ had rather be an ant (even humbly
bandy-legged, proiane, swearing anti
than look upon the things Ov this world
az would upon the throw of the dice.
Ants are older than Adam.
Man (fOr very wiZe reasons) warm
built until all other things were finished
and pronounced good.
If man had been made fust, he would
hev insisted upon bossing the rest of the
job.
He probably would hav obiekted &c
having any little, bizzy ants at ALL ant
various other objekshuns would hev been
Offered, equally green.
am glad that man wuZ the last thing
made
If man hadn't hav been made at all
you never wOnid haV heard me find emmy
fault with it.
/ haven't much faith in man, not be
kause he kant do well, but bekauZe ht
wont.
Ants hav bye laws, and constitushun
and they mean sumthing.
Their laws amt like our laws, made
with a hole in them, SO that man kan
steal boss and ride through them on ;
walk
They don't hav any whisky ring, tina
IL virtewOus, simply bekause it hooks b
the millyun, and then lcsalizes its owl
ackts
They don't hav emmy Legislators that VI
kan buy, nor emmy Judges, laying aroun,
on the half shell, rely to be swallered.
| rather like the ants, and i think now
| shall sell out mi money and real estate
and iine them
had rather jine them than the bulls
or bears. like their morals better.
The bulls and the bears handle more
money, it is true, and make a crate deal
more noizc in Wall street, one ov them
sticking his horn into flabby piece oil
Erie, and tossing it up into the air, and
the other ketching it when it comes down
and trampling it under hiz paws.
This may be plum for the bulls and the
bears, but il liz wuss than the chOlera
morbust for poor Erie.
Ants never disturb Erie yu couldn't sci
one eny Erie emmy more than you coult
sell one skrip on he Goldfish banks of Nu
fOundland
Ants are a honest, hard tugging little
,, people, but whether they marry and live
in marriage, IL beyond mi strength but j
they don't they are no wuss Oph thar
they are out West (ncar the city of Chi
cago,) where they marry to day, and ar,
reddy the next day TO fife it out agin OF
some other line
Wedlock out West (near the CRATE grain
mart, Chicago IL one ov them kind o'
locks that almost emmy body kan pick
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