The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-09-30

cDocko.
Design on wood---a sawyer driving
through pile.
Voice Of the stars Their chorus
cation.
Anew ejaculation for duns--Sir.
render.
How to make clean sweep-Wash
him.
Welcome lines to the !alies-Mas-
eulincs.
Fall openings--The coal holes on
the sidewalk.
4 chasm too many writer's fall into
sarcasm:
A free booter---the man who kicks
an--other.
An essay on MANA woman's at
tempt to marry him.
In Indianapolis a joker tics on his
ncigLbors door-knobs.
lntrenchments are the first care in
Observation-Disclosures in peace.
When is milkman like James Fisk
Jr. When he waters his stock.
Modesty in woman is like color
on'hcr Enthusiastically becoming,
if not put on.
Show this to your Lusband-A
never falling cure for 'sulks. Silks.
An obliging class Of men-Auction-
GERS who attend to every ones bid
ding.
Troubles, like infants thrive on
nursing.
Piscatorial pc.rifcation-a perch
ofsstone.
Tied to Observation-Disclosures APP
prentices.
"A bird on the roast is worth two
on the roost.
A light igure-a woman with ia
perwaist.
Universal topics-The Rhine and
the rhino.
No. witty schism-that which
divfdes church.
The root that President Grant likes
--eheroot.
A hourishing business-Ornamen-
tai psnmanship.
An Iowa man aptly advertiscs:-
"kerosene and collins.
4 clergyman has preached against
eroquot as wicked game.
Sears on the battlefield are not
alwayEso splendid as scares.
Hens are not the only living things
that feather their nests.
Gov. Merrill has hung himself-in
efsgy. in the executive office. He's
done in oil, although not exactly
sardine.
Menare generally like wagons
they rattle prodigi when there is
nothing in them.
How-the watering place bells con-
puer: They trust in rouge, and keep
their powoer dry.
W cmen Of forty wear hats Of just
as juvenile a description sthose worn
by girls of sixteen.
Laws, like sausages, cease to in
spire respect in proportion as we
know how they are made.
It was woman who first prompted
man to cat, but hc took to drink on
his own account.
Isaac in Abraham hand was said
to be like piece Of auction goods,
because he was offered at sacrifice.
What is the difference between a
e,.iilJ man and hot dog? One wears
great coat, and the other pants.
Why is an italian exile returning to
his native land, like man going to
see his son 60 up an apple tree? Be-
cause he is going to see his own sun
ny cline. "-.
6ince Louis Napoleon failed to
put bis hands on property and things
generally in Prussia. he is not so
much one Of the Sellers as he thought
be was. e.
The ladies (Ggd bless ,em) keep
faithfully in mind that clause in the
Constitution. and their own, which
declare the right to bare arms shall
not be infringsd.
Patience is exempli6ed in the man
who left his wagon willie his horse
baked, sat on a stump and read the
Bible till the animal was hungry
enough to go home.
'.Was it your eldest daughter mad
anne, that was bitten by monkey !?
mo sir it was my youngest. My ell
dest daughter had worse misfortune;
she married monkey"
The New York Herald calls the rad
ical candidate for governor in New
York ''brevet brigadier general Tit
tlebat Iitmouse Woodford," and