Vicksburg weekly herald., 1870-08-06
b. aaaass Eaesaa sa q nagsaEs
Master

MAatOHs
There ls somsthing IN the fol-
lowing COPIED from The Cleveland
PlaindeaieF, that viii be highly ln.
teresting 70 summer travellers
I knew him. u was years agO.
His name was-well, call Il Bumps.
IfyOu get into ; railroad struggle,
where one struggles 70 SET another
OF the track, You win know moro
about Bumps or your friends win.
This Bumps was q nice young man.
His hair was always c0mbed low
down: he wore brass buttons /;
there was never any dust on his
heels; and there was q mysterious
report current that he had been
known 10 call on the "sherry" for
three, on q fourth Of July, and 90.
tually pay for It SIR. We held him
In awe, we boys did. He could
talk about lever watches, pointer
dogs, steam barges, and he could
relate incidents Of difnculties 10
prize rings so BEAUTIFULLY that ! 7sed
TO wish to knock some one In the
stomach and break some ambitious
Engllshman's jaw.bone. IL
Bumps said anything the whole
town swore that Il was 20. Ifhe
didn't say anything we al stood
back and waited for developments.
Atlast he went away. Bis uncle
used his influence TO get him q p0.
sitiOn 90 baggage master. ] never
heard Of him for years, but ] was
called in one day 10 see him die. /
went with great pleasure. BumpO
was q mere skeleton his eyes was
like saucers his hair was ell torn
of from tearing round 80 In bed.
He told me all about it. He drove
everybody out Of the room, bade
me string up my nerves 70 hear q
most mOurnful tale, and then be
commenced. He took charge Of
trunks and boxes. and commenced
by lifting them by the handles, and
setting them down carefully. He
had not observed @ month, when
the President Of the road called
him into his Office, cut down hls
salary and told him II there were
any more complaint from the con.
ductor, Bumps would be bumped
out Of q berth. Then the young
man grew cold and stern. he was
bound TO suit that railroad corpora.
ton or die. He began by walking
up to poor old chest belonging 10
an orphan, and putting his foot
through the corner; the conductor
saw the act the two shook hands
and they wept for hours on each
others breasts. Bumps had not
made two trips before he could
sling q satchel eleven rods, retain.
ing both handles In his grasp. In-
nocent owners Of such things
threatened him, and commenced
suits against him, and swore they
would never ride on that road
again, but Bumps was firm. BE
was dignihed; he was solemn he
was working for q higher sphere
he was treading In the path Of dety,
When gentle females would hand
up their tender little baskets and
satchels, Bumps would smile q dia'
bolical smile, and be would get ~
IN b corner and jump Oh The aFtl
cles, and toss thom up and kich
them, and fling them through ethe'
real space. And when the train
stopped, he would throw ont Q wa
terfall and Q tooth brush TO answer
the call Of check "22." Husbands
struck at him, and dared him out Of
his den, and called him Q base fiend,
but Bumps was solemn. he knew
his line OF business. When he got
hold Ofa nice trunk he would car
ry q c0untenAnce like q strawberry
for joyfulness, he would Jerk OF
one handle, then another then kick
In the ends, then take an axe and
smash the lock, and then he would
let the shirts and things rattle out
on the track. 1t got 80 at last thai
people actually paid high prices fol
tho privilege OfllVing along the linz
of that road, as they got their shirt
for nothing. All that was neede(
was to have the children follow VI
Bumps' train.
But there came O black day. A
miserable, contemplate, sneakinI
wretch, who owned 9 saw.mill AMI
nail factory, went travelling. III
ran his factories for two weeks Of
nothing but trunk stuff, and b
brought out the Wickedest trunl
that ever went into q car, II wa
seven feet thick all round, and ther
| we're sixteen rails driven In one o.
, top Of the other, until the thing wa
clear proof. Then he gave It int
| Bumps hands, charging him TO "b
. very careful, II he pleased" Th
7 train started, Bumps got the axe
usual, and struck at the lid, but tn
axe bounded back. Ho struck ono
more ; the axe flew to pieces. Thel
he got q crowbar and q can Of pow
der but he couldn't burst q raj
, He swore and jumped up anl
down, and wanted TO die, AM
wished he'd never been born. II
got all the train men 10, they al
, pounded, but the trunk held hin
: firm. II went through all right.
was handed down. without q jan
: the owner was there to say
I "Thank ye, sir" and he pTsteHde
i he was going back again, and ha
Q the chest put aboard once mors
Q Bumps grew pale. BE grew sicl
' His legs shook. He had Chills q
Z over him. The trunk went back
: witness Of mans inhumanity I
man. Bumps grew worse. He fel
!, . that he was forever disgraced, an
i went to bed with brain fever. TIE
tried to console him, and said tbs