, 1870-03-20
TIE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.


Sum ov ouE' best and most eneTgetick gull
ierkers hay writ essays on the "Iost Aria"
and ha! did eomparaifly well, but they bar
which tske ths liberty On = as1il1s coniiden,
shau way), tew draw their Attenshun to-
Pumpkin pi.r-This dn1itesum work or
art i [or rather toas) triumphant conglomer-
ashun or baked doe aad ble& pumpkin
Il va y; d3stoys5ed 15 during ths Old ov tha
wife ov nhehoboam Beccher, then residing III
the rural town ov NJ Guilford, State Of Gon-
aclhcnt, but since departed tlia life, agod 81
ycars, months, daze, hours, and Is min
peaoe tew her dust !
This pi, Immediately after its discovery bi
Angelica, proceeded into genaral use, aud wAz
tho boes Fl for over q hundred yeAr8,
In the gear 1883 it was totally lo1st-
This pi 1aint bin herd from since- Large
rewards have bin offered for its recovery Try
donbtedly fed forever.
Sum poor initashnEa ov hehlessed old or5gi-
nal pi a5o loAhng around, but pumpkin pi Il it
wa with nutmeg in il ia no more:
Rum and Tanzy. Good I'D M England
cur ancients, md drank By he dcacoaa and the
elders oF our churches = century ago.
It IL now one Of the Lost n1ts-
4 haff pint ov this glorious old 1uixtur up
On Citing cut ov bed n the morning. then =
fast, tfen thru the day, 1t stated intervals,
had \ pint oS it, and sum more Of it iist before
retiring at mite, IL wat cuahled our fou1fathntB
tew shaka oph tho yoke ove g1ate hrittin, and
gave the AIne1lkan eagle the Ajestik tred and
thundcnng big bak bone which he used teW
LaS. Eut, al1ss oh, alass1 We oncs had
spirits or just men made pcrfek. but we have
row 20, Alasal spirits OF The da1n.
One hAH-pint OF tho present prevailing rum
would ruin deacon in twenty minutes.
Farewell, good old nu England rum, with
some tanzy IN ye1, thou hast gone! yea., tho9
spirits cums buck.
'"R'u"' rsquie.eet, "a siqso''''i,e'4'."
"Arly To led, and arly to rise"
When our ancestors landed on Plymoth Rok
cut ov tie Aayaower, and stood in front ov
reaching from the boisteroua Atsnhk to the
buzzum ov the plAinuva Paciack, they brought
With them among other tools, the at 0v git
ting up in the morning and going to bed in
decent eeAson.
This at they was AZ familiar to then ~ cod
fah for breakfast.
They knu it hi heart.
Il waa the eleventh command IN their kate
kiam- .-...-.
They tant it tew their children, their yuns
uays allow about la1ning it he VIZ invited ont
to tho korn-Eib aud there tho art waz explained
teW him, 20 TINT he got hold or the iaeo forever
and Amen
an so1zy to say that this art il now lost or
missing.
What = loss Taz here, my count1ymens
Ipauxe fos ! reply.
hot word do he4r.
Silence IL it's epitaph-
Arly taH bed and nfly taN rise il either thing
ov the past OF thing that amt cu1n-it certain
| ly don't exist in theze patta now.
t.A unIf 1IF1kH hEH ff.SrN
! oph Whole lot or good things with it
! This art will positively never be dlskoTeTed
I aRin; it waz the child Of innocence md vigor,
i and tEis breed ov children are like the babea in
the wood, and deserted bi their unkie-
' Honesty. Honesty IL ono Of the arts and
! sciences.
Learned men viii tell you that tho abuv as-
1 sershun IL one ov Josh ki1ings' informal lies,
and yer hev pettokt rite tow believe them,
but dou't-
Honesty IL just AZ much an art AZ poliseneas
| IL, aud never wax born with . man emmy more
than tho capacity 10 spell the worl Nebuddke-
j nozzer right the first time Waz.
l. It took me seven yeals to master this word.
and and Noer Webster both disagree about
tue right Way now.
Sum men arc naturally mora addikted tev
honesty than others, Just az SUN hAv bettet
ear for musik, and 1a1n how tew hoist and
lower the ! notes moro completely than the
next man-
Honesty IL one ov the lost or misiaid nrts-
thare may be excepshuns tew this rule, but the
learned men N agree that the e1cepshuns
prove the ru1e.'
Tie only doubts hav about this tuAttor i
tew lokate the time very cluss, when honest,
waz fuAt lost.
! When Adam in the Garden Of Eden was
asked /" Whero art thou, Adam" and after
wards explained hiz absence by saying, ~
waz afraid, )" il AZ far back AZ hav bin able
| taw frsne fha 4rst inflik ashuna or Hoakuosa il