Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1870-08-13
THE JOsm BILLuNGs PAPERS.
Piam Piss.

Fiun rus.
A man with few brains IL like
dog with one flea on him-dredful un-
easy.
Ihave always notised when IN indi-
vidual haint got the ability tew crit
icise judiclorlsly, he dams indiskrlin-
inately.
What do YOU bet Fame IL? bet 1t
IL climeing a creased pole tew win a
puss ov 10 dollars and splicing suit
ov close worth tifteen.
New York Is fast place. If 4 man
pulls out OH phunerNl procession,
jlst az likely az not the whole process
sion. led bi the hearse hoSs, will strike
2:4O gait and leave him tew take
their dust.
Ambishun IL like hunger-it obeys
no law but its own appetight.
Thare IL no medicine like good
joke-it IL a silvercoared pill that
frolicks and phisicSs Oh the run.
Beauty IL a morning dream which
the breakfast bell puts an end to.
The man who never makes emmy
bluuders will never rise In the esteem
ov the world obuv the reputashun ov a
good guideboard.
Making an entry ov charitys OH our
worldly ledger Is a sure way tew hav
our whole account thrown out at the
judgment day.
don't want any better proof ov
good hod-carrier than tew hear another
hod-carrier say, "He liz cuSSed phool
and don't understand hiZ Dizziness"
A good book IL like good law.
Poverty and ritches are mere ina
ginative distinkshuns. The man who
Kan eat hiz bread and be happy IL GER
tainly ritclier than he who kant eat 1t
unless 1t Is spread with butter. i
Fortune Is like mirror, 1t don't
alter men, it only shows them just as
they am.
Daudys are hybrid, 4 cross between
a fasl-6n plate and an unpaid taylor's
bill.
never knew but one intitlel in mi
life, and lie had 10 more courage than
a haff drowned kitten jist pulled out
oy a swill barrel, and waz az afraid
tew die az the devil would be If he waz
allowed tew visit this earth for short
seazon to recruit himself.
At the present advance OF intelektual
refinement philosophy will Prove faith
to BE- a farce-Adam . reflex this
world the work ov an earthqulke-the
Bible q tale Of credulity - aud the
Almighty nothing more than an hon
orary member ov the CRATE college ov
science and art.
Debt IL trap which man sets and
bats himself and then deliberately gitS
into.
Di.eaze and pills, when they enter a
mans boldly. are like two lawyers
when they undertake tew settle hiz
affairs, they compromise the matter by
laying out the patient.
One good way kno ov to find hap
piness Il not By boreing hole to tit
the plugg.
A lie IL like nytro-glycerine, the
best ov judges kant tell when it IL
going tew bust and skater confushun.
A Kicking COW never lets drive until
jist az the pail IL full, and seldum
misses the mark; 1t Is Jist so with
mems blunders.
AZ the flint kontains the spark, un-
known tew itself. which the steel alone
kan wake into lite, so adversely often
reveales tew us hidden gems which
prosperity or negligence would forever
lay hid. ...
Most people when they cum tew yu
for advice cum tew hav their own
opinyuns strengthened. not correkted.
Men seem tew me, nowadays, tew
be divided into slow Christians and
wide awake sinners.
Thare IL lots ov folks who are like n
pump, not ov emmy use tew tilemselfs,
but simply handle and suction for
others.
All happlneseis is like gold in quartz,
thare IL four quartz ov stone tew one
ov gold.
Hope and debt are partners in trade,'
hope hunts up the customers and debt
skins them.
Hunger IL a slut hoand on fresh
track. ... ...
Toll SWEETS at the brow, but idleness
SWEETS all over.
Despair IL the ashes ov hope, which
the wind ov tribulation skaters.
4 mau hez got about done going
down hill when he gifts where he brags
OH his lazineSS; such critter Is ov no
more Use tew himself nor others than
q frozen-tew-death rooster in barn.
yard.
He who spends all his substance in
charity will undoubtedly git hiz re-
ward here and hereafter: but hiZ re-
ward here will be the poor-hou>e.
Give q smart child pack ov EardS
and n spellin book. aud lie will larn
tew play good game of hi 10 jak long
before I've kan spell word of two sill
tables. r-......
Allie Il good for short race, but 1t
.takes truth tn run the heats" blood
will tell.
sThare IL a huge number of souls per-
an,bulating the world who hav bin
stralning for years after a camel and
finally had to swallow u nat.
We should all aim ut perfekshun, but
10 one but phool will expect to reach
Pride livs OH itself; 1t Is like rae
coon In winter, keeps fat by sucking
its claws. 4-l- ..
Lafinr devils are the most danger
ous, i'll had a mule that wou,dn' I
neither bite nor Xix. should watch
him dredfi,l spry, till found out WHARF,
his malice lay.
Coon Bur DoUBrFUI.-When1 Lin
gard was. impesonating different
Characters on the stage ora New York
theater, he crme out one night "a Our
Saylour,o aid I'm order to show the
meekness of the Saviour. he allowed