Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-08-18

her good advice, attended closely to his
business, and acquired great riches.
Answers to Correspondents.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
"THoMAs. Jordan is hard road to
travel" kant tell you who waz the in
ventor Of this saying, some foot sore cuss
probably, who waz too lazy TO keep q
boss and Wagon.
"FEHDINAND."-"M wants but little
here belo, nor wants that little long, ia a
libel; man .rants everything he can6ee, or
hear ov, and never Is willing to let 60 of
hiz grab. Whenever yu find q man who is
thoroughly satisfied with what he has got,
yu will find either an ideot, or one who
haz tried hard to git some more and
couldn't do it. The older q man grows.
the more wantful he bekums, az hiz bold
on life slackens, hiz pinch on dollar
grows grippy.'
will yu give him stun" IL Bible ques-
ton, and liz fair one. l have known
folks to give bread that waz stOney. That
now.
HRRoD."-He that puts small value
| on his services, issues proposals to the
lowest bidder. When yu make request
of divine Providence, it is best 10 be
modest, if yu expekt to git what yu ask
! for, but there Is 80 little modesty in the
world, between men, that when we cum
across IL we mistake 1t for ignorance, or
imbecility. Yu will often see little boys
kctching flies, and killing them just for
fun, but you don't see them ketch hornets
Just for fun. The sting in the hornets
tail is what makes him respectable.
"MnLER "-Yu have got 1t right the
fust time, ingratitude IL one ov them
crimes that every body sticks up their
noxe at, II Ia the worst ineult we can Civ,
or receive, 1t lets a man drop down belo
the level of the dunn brutes, for the vel.
lowest and meanest dog in the United
States wags hiz tail If yu throw him but
a burnt crust. What an awful thought It
IL, that ingratitude IL the common sin
against God.
"MATILDA" Kissing IL ono ov the
rudiments; babies are learnt itinstead ov
the alphabet, but they don't understand
the strong points In II, yet they seem to
luv il without knowing why ; this IL q
bricky argument that kissing II one Nv
natures most natural noshuhG ! kant tell
YOU whether thare IL emmy particular
etiket to be observed in Mountaineering q
kiss or not. Between lovers II II sum
times usual to kiss and hang on, but II
strikes me that the best way. II TO cum up
front face, In single ale, then fire apd fall
back one pace this gives the patients
chance tew get the flavor. The great buty
ov kiss lies in its impulsiveness, and tt
impressibility, two big words, but worth
the mummy.
haven't done emmy thing in the kiss.
| ing line (ov an ameteur natur), OF late
years, and there may be some new dodge
that amt posted In, but the old fashion
ed, rs years ago kind, remember fresh
that kind don't hev emmy mathematics IN
il, but was more like spontaneous com
bustion.
kissing, as general thing, IL not very
interesting to bystanders, and IL sumtimes
even looked upon, by a third party, q
uncslled for.
"WARwICx."-"He that givsth tew the
poor, lendeth to the Lords" II yu had
read yure Bible ez much ez ! hev, ~
wouldn't hav asked me II Shakespeare
wrote this remark. ).
Charity liz az mulch ov q privilege az II
IL duty, and lending to the Lord IL un.
doubted security for any mans mummy.
| He that gives nothing away. while liv'
ing, dies bankrupt, and his estate Il
generally settled by hiz heirs, good
deal az the crows settle dead hoss-by
pitching into the remains.
Thare IL many folks whose hearts bile
with charity, but whose extremitys are
cold, q half dollar kontracts to three
cent piece by the time 1t reaches the enc
ov their fingers:
"GILDAD."-Yure juicy letter haz ques.
tions enutf tew make district school
master faint, and If should answer them
an aulmanak.
Who the author of the saying, "ths
good die yung," was, don't care, but
will remark, II that IL q good bet, til,
younger man Csn die the better, and no
tew be born at all, ID ded sure thing.
/ Again, ~ It regards the number o,
years that kat kan live, that depends en-
tirely upon circumstances, they kan
!, live over Sunday with me.
"ABEL."-Yu kant pick out hypo
! krite by his looks emmy more than yu ksl
J q fat oyster by the shell; they are fre
. quently like an old muskct laid away ~
; garnet, hav often been known to let oph
charge that had been sleeping with On,
eye open for 3 years. They ere like silver
plated forks, wear well for long time bu
are sure to show the odlous brass .
Last.
4 "HANNDAL."-Giving presents viii
the hope ov receiving presents In return
takes away awl tho cream ov giving or le
! | ceiving; II 10 like shopping skim-Enl
for milk that has been skimd.
"MxRcuRY."-"O Owe for . lodge Il
sum vast Wilderness" waz the privat,
opinion ov Mr. Cowper, ono ov the va,
few men who have lived yet who ~
pure enuff tsw monopolise : woods with
God who made It. Most people boiler fol
solitude without thinking that II u ,