The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1870-08-11
HOOFfsANO INTERVIEWED.

it was dismal day. ghe rain pelted the
windows o7tue ed,io al sanctum v.ciously, as
If the clerk OF ,he weather, weed by some
querulous paragraph rejecting on the man
agemenI of his uepar. men.. had ordered his
understrapners to throw cold waie. on our
Efforts 10 entertain the public. The city
news market was as dull as the leaden sky,
and the country sheets, guiltless OF enytnilg
that savo7ed OF the sensational. were in eve
ry sense OF the PM ase " wei blankets" Me-
apcholy as dy;pept'c owl, our livelies. re.
porter sat bloodlDg in a o.ner, scratching
cum. A bri"uS thought struc; us. Sucn
things will sometimes iapDen 10 an editor,
even in north -easS rain.storm. Let some
body be iucraieayed." we excls lined, looking
up at our playet.-out.0t-cc .. He Enlightened
up and inquired who il should be. We
cogitated. The leading politicians, inan-
ciers and clergymen had all been done-in
fact, oyerdoue. The public WAS tired of
them-it was OF no rise "going through any
of them again. Another bright idea flashed
through our peiic.anium. Drop in" i'd
we s on a man who has never yet beer inter
vieued-a public benelactor, whose name
has been before the people for thirty wears,
and to whom thousands owe The good oiges-
ton thai waits Oh appetite aud the health
that waits on both-a veteran philanthopist,
whose name i.om ouT boyhood's hou.., has
been as conspicuous. on every coiga OF van
tage as The handwriting on the wall, in Bel
soazzar's palace, and VINO. at q time wnen
bn5 100 many candidates for public
favor are weighed in the balance
and found wanting continues to enjoy
80 and pay friendly visit to DR.. sHoof-
land. and report the result at these mead
qrai sers.
left is a bitter day." remarked our special.
1.-THE more app.opr' ate,n we replied, for
en- interview with the discoverer fthe most
nr.t1lu .nWi in iot <od t.xx
ouY bitter pun he ook his hat and umbrella
aud vanished tout de So,si:e.
In abou. an hour and q half, he returned
with the following IS A
RE eoEm. ~ ga
Found Dr.. Hoodland in his laboratory with
a face as full OF benevolent sunshine as day
in JUNO. and ooened fire upon him at once.
Repo'fe'H--Goot moaning, doctor. I have
come TO inse view you.
they called ;ha. sort of shiag 3,anlnimg. = Eut
this is she age of "word painting" Go
aheadl E~
.Gepoftev-How old are yor, doctor? e.
Doetor-Wel,, yor needn't mem ion il to the
ladies; out am ii ray eigh .y-seventh year.
ing man To- Thai eg'e. Excuse me, doctor !;
ous deycc take yonr own medicines?
Docto.'-I DO, young man, perhaps IL did
moi shouldn't oe3 The "nale fellow, well
met you seem 20 think me. a
-Repo7 c,,--I can remember your remedies
leve: s'nce was boy. Are they still as pop.
ules' as ever?
Docsor--Uuless my ledger and bank ac-
corrs deceive me, young man, their sale hes
reeo steadily iuc eesiug for more than twen-
~ years, z-.saes-f - 80
have you expended in advertising during that
.Doct0r--in round numbers, about million
of dollars. II costs great deal 30 guide the
people 70 health ah' orgsh the newspapers.
Tue tolls on tue turnpike OF the Press are
pretty heavy.
ReDorter-Yes; hut IT'S the only road by
which good thing can reach the goal of uni
versal ppblicity and universal acceptance.
What remedies ere you preparing now?
DoCtor-Four !: +" Hoofanti's German Bit
seis." Hollands German Tonic" Hoof-
lfpd's Greek OIL" and = Hoofand's Podo-t
phyllin (extract of MandI ake) Pills."
Rspor:er-I shouIu like 20 have a brief &C.
corut of the natuie of these remedies.
Doc1ca-Certaipiy. The Filters il coTnpos-
ed of frid ext"ac.s-the active principles OF
roots and herbs grown in Germany. 1t con-
tains no allnolic, s1imulant, and is the most
potent general remedy known for Dyspepsia,
Liver COMPLAINT, Jaundice, Debility and all
gaus.
Reoorter-The "Tonic" is made from the
same ingredients, and is intended for the
same class of ailments, is i. not? H
Doctor-Yes; but 1t contains In addition a
certain amount of pure Santa Cruz Rum, the
finest stomachic in the world, where diffu-
sive stimulano is necessary. 1t is also de-
lightfully favored with aromatic extracts
to the palate. and is intended to
take the place OF the Bitters Ia cases where
there is a lack of constitutional vigor and vi
tally 1t = is also powerful blood depur-
ent, and pusifier of all the animal fluids.
Reporter-Well, doctor. and what IS Greek
Oil?
Doc:or-The great antagonist of pain. 1t
alleviates the torture Of Rheuma.
tism, Neuralgia, Toothache, Headache, Ear.
ache, Sprains, Bruises aud the like. Pain
cannot long exist where it is properly ap-
piled.
Repsrser-The Pills. doctor. what are they !!
Docsor-A compound of five vegetable ex.
tracts. The alcoholic extract of mandrake,
called Podophyllin, which acts on the liver
as powerfully as mercury, without any of tho
evil effects of that pernicious mineral, is the
most important. OF the others. one acts
upon the stomach, two upon the upper and
lower bowels, and the remaining one renders
he operation painless. Used in connection
Win the Bite and the Tonic. they are an
absolute specific for Liver Complaint,
Dyspepsia and Constipation. Indeed know
OF no disease, not organic, which can with.
stand Inc akeratiye and renovating action
of these til ee remedies.
sRepofse,-These are certainly remarkable
statements. Can you establish them by COM
petent proofs?
Doc;o1-P: oofs sir-look here I! (takipg
down from a shelf q thick Cuarto volume and
displaying It's consents.) This contains over
I've hundred Testimonials, and / can show
you several more volumes of the same size,
if you will step iu.o my library in the next
ROOM Here turning over the leaveal Won
see, are letters of The strongest character
from Hon. Geo. w. Woodward, formerly
Judge of The Supreme Court of Pennsylvania,
now member of Congress; Hon. James
Thompson, our present Chief Justice; Hon.
George Shafswood, Justice of the Supreme