Smyrna times., 1870-07-06
Beecher on Early Marriages.

At no other period, perhaps, in their life, do |
young men need the inspiration of virtuous |
love, and the sympathy of a companion in their |
selfdenying toll, as when they first enter the
battle Tor tLelr own support. Early marriages
are permanent molalities, and deferred mar !
riages are temptations to wickedness. And
yet every year it becomes more and more dit |
fcult concurrent with the regning ideas Of so
ciety, for young lnen to enter upon that matrl-
mOnial state which is the proper guard OF their
virtue, as well as the source Of their courage
and enterprise. The battle Of life is almost al
ways at the beginning. There it is that man
needs wedlOck. But wicked and ridiculous
public sentiment puts a man who Is IN society,
for that matter, largely on the ground of con-
ditiOn, and not Of disposition and character.
The man that has means wherewith he can
vlslbly live amply Is In good society, as gen
eral rule. The man that has virtue and ster-
ling manliness, but has nothing withal eternal
to show, is not usually considered in good sOci
ETY.. Ambitious young men will not therefore,
marry until they can meet their expenses but
that is detcming for years and years the indis-
pensable virtue. Society is bad where two can
not live cheaper than one; and young men
are under bad influences who, when in the
very morning Of lhe and better fitted than at
any later period to grow together with one who
Is their equal and mate, are debarred from
marrying, through scores of years, from mere
prudential consideration and the heart and
life are sacrificed to the pocket. They are
tempted to substitute ambition for love, when
at last. over the ashes and expiring embers Of
their early romance, they select their wife. 1t
is said that men who wait till they are forty or
forty-fve years of age, select prudently. Alas
for the wife who was not sweetheart ! Pru-
dence is good but is prudence servant or
queen?
Prudence is good but what is prudence? 1t
is the dry calculation of the head leagued with
the pocket Is there no prudence, in taste,
nor prudence In the inspiration OF generous
love? Is there no prudence in the faith by
which, banded, two young persons 60 down
into the struggle OF life, saying, I" Come veal,
come wO, come storm, come calm; love is a
match Tor circumstances, and we will be all to
each other !" Woe be to the society in which
The customs and manners Of the times extend
beyond the period of romance and affection of
the wedding. You have adjourned the most
important secular act of mans life. You have
adjourned it out of Eden into the wilderness
The girl, next infected land even women fall
with the publicspirit, too often waits to be wooed
by those who can place her again in the very be-
ginning of her welded life, where she was when
she was brokeno off as branch from the paternal
tree. But as graft should always be willing to
be graft and wait till it can make its own top
by legitimate growing. And woe is the day
when every girl says: will not marry entil my
husband in the beginning has as much as my
father had at the end Of his life For She
what is she? Who was it that Jupiter won in
a shower OF gold? Whoever it was. that is the
type. She whose heart is won by abundance
she who is bought into matrimony by house
and land she who marries for genteel wealth
she 1t is that Jupiter seduced by gold. For
all wedlock is aduterouS in which 1t is not the
heart that inspires marriage. Noble is that
young spirit, which, seeing, and loving, and
choosing, and silently bidng her choice, is won
and chosen, and giving herself freely, roman
tlcally, il you will God be thanked for the ro-
mance,) goes down to the level of her hus-
bands nOthingness and poverty, that he and
she may, with willing hands, from the bottom
: build up their estate. Blessed is the woman
who sees that in going down she is going up
: and that 1t is the loOsng of life that saves it.
Blessed is the woman who carries with her into
mani led life all that she learned in the refine
! ment of her fathers family; who proves thai
S she is a woman in this; that gentleDess anC
! praise and abundance, and luxury even, minis
: tered to the better parts of her nature, ant
/, prepared her to go forth and minister earnest
n y and permanently in the midst Of difficulties
!, Thousands there are who, when once they are
called, and know their master. Love, go cheer
V fully out with the young man and take par
d and lot with him. Oh, that young men wOulC
trust them more and prove them better, ant
il see if this is not So How noble thing it i
It to see the cultured, the polished, and the re
y fined, go down to the very beginning of things
It led by love, fed by love, and at last rewarde
r by love
l. Love together alone, il you have to go int
d the desert for it, and feed on herbs Ab
r hOr SOdom and Gomorroh-or boarding hOus
l. es! Men sometimes speak of the meagre an
e pnched fare. These are unworthy of notice
d 1t is not these. 1t is that men learn there no
h to be house-holders. And all that various dis
Of cipline, all that ministratiOn of care, and a
e that drill Of contrivance, all that social inde
4 pendance, all that subtle atmosphere indcs
&c cribable and unanalyzable, which belongs t
De the solitary household, they miss. No ma
al and woman can make husband and wife, fatl
= er and mother, and hOuseholders on the patter
of their fathers who begin and continue thei
married lite in hot-bed style of existence. An
H. yet they are unwilling to take house that the
can afford and they cannot afford to take til
:, house they fain would live in, because furn
Fl ture is so dear, and virtue is cheap; becaus
~ society requires o certain amount of appea
"a ance, you know; because it would not do to g
90 to the outskirts of the town! A log cabin
an better for young married people than tf
= Fifth Avenue Hotel would be, if they had tn
" a whole of it for nothing What you get f(
q nothing is least valuable to you of anything
-, - What you earn is all value. Under these inf
oS ns ences, the whole life is written in the wron
m rs key. Men having started on the false prime
p pie, they do not get over it. They are perpe
. uaIly tempted to overlive by their very affe
% tions. If there is anything that an honorab
n nS and sensible mans nature feels and cam,
c stand, it is the silent comparison, on the pa
90 of the wife, by look. even, of the way in whc
&c &c she did live, and the way in which she doe
~ live. How does this drive men into dishonc
ties How does it drive them out of simpcit
gu Gu and out of willingness to live according
er :, their circumstances How does it teach thel
NJ to live for other peoples eyes and not for the
own actual needs? How does it teach them
be more subject to vanity than love Sue
ce life is hollow. Ostentation takes the place
ed sincerity, and so, ere long, man is educate
be 10 be a rnnre and steals And woman tai,