Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-07-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
COUNTRY SRAT-A milking stool.

COUNTRY SEAT-A milking. stool.
A vow(A)L OF INDEBTEDNESS
NATURES WEAPoNs-Blades of grass.
Ho(A)RsE ExERCIsE-Singing with
bad cold.
TRANSPORTED FOR LIFR-The man who
marries happily.
TIE QUESTION OF To.DAY-What's for
dinner?
AYAwN in company generally indicates
gap in the conversation.
To prevent fish from smelling in the
summer-Cut their noses off
The most fatal form of consumption
The consumption Of strong drink.
In Chicago the procuring of divorce
is called courting after marriage.
CALIFORNIA strawberries are so big they
plug them to see if they are ripe.
THE Washington Life offers all the ad-
vantages of stock and mutual company
combined.
WHAT two sciences are employed by
teamsters in driving oxen? Hdsoticulture
and Geology.
THE only men who think we'll of misers
are the expectant heirs, who don't care
how saving the fellow is.
A MAN in Portland wanted to gain ad-
mission to panorama at half price on the
ground that he had but one eye.
RED BEAR, the Indian warrior, says he
thinks the white squaws are very hand
some, but they have on too much war
paint.
Ii you were to die to-day, would you
leave your family Independent of chari-
typ Insure in the Washington Life Insur-
ance Company, of New York.
THE New Albany Qnd) Ledger says
that on the door of a business house of
that city the following sign is written in
pencil: "Loaturs ar newcense heare"
A PHILOSOPHER says, if you want o
pair OF boots to last four years, melt and
mix four ounces of mutton tallow, apply
while warm, place the boots in closet
and go barefoot.
A CALIFORNIAN says he raised beets,
last year, so large that some of his pigs
ate tunnels through the centre of some of
the largest specimens, without disturbing
| the outside.
THEY say an Idaho girl puts on style
| because she cleans her teeth with the butt
end of backing brush. She says she
was brought up to be neat, and doesn't
care what folks think.
A CONTRIBUTOR to an English journal
received the following encouraging no.
tice: "The editor will not be able to
glance at your MS for several years
1t is now at my office awaiting your
wishes"
A GOOD old apothecary in Brunswick,
Me-, left one day, ON his door, scrap of
paper, which read: "Gone to Portland.
Those who cannot read this notice, will
please call at the book k-bindery, oppo-
SITE"
A HoRTICULTURIsr! advertised that
he would supply all kinds of seeds and
plants. Some wag sent an order for one
package of custard. pie seed and dozen
OF mlnce-pie plants, which he filled by
sending twelve hens eggs and small
dog.
BACHELORS" says Josh Billings, "are
always braggin' ov their freedom
Freedom to darn their own stockings and
poultice their own shinsl l had rather
be widdower once in two years, reglar,
than teW be grunting, old, hair-dyed
bachelor only. ninety days"
ONE exceeding warm day in June a
neighbor met an old man. and remarked
that it was very hot. "Yes," said Joe
If it wasn't for one thing should say we
were going to have a thaw." "What is
that" inquired the friend. "Theres
nothing froze," said Joe.
THE Prince of Wales, in a recent
speech at dinner given in aid of the Lon.
don Children's Hospital, said "There is
one fact gentlemen, to which / wish to
draw your attention-viz That one.third
OF the adult population of this country
never arrives at maturity"
AT match race of carrier.pigeons, dur.
ing the month of May, two pigeons flew
a distance of seven hundred miles in less
than eight hours. They were let loose in
the morning at o'clock in Pesth, Hun.
gary, and arrived, at 2 o'clock p. m., at
Cologne, although in an exhausted condi'
ton.
"A DISTINGUISHED President of Har.
ward College was once asked by brother
clergyman how long it took him to write
a sermon. He said, Sometimes a week
sometimes longer" "What A week to
write sermonP / write one in a day
and make nothing of it," eyes," replied
the Doctor, "but 1 make something oi
mine"
A COLONEL of regiment which served
during the late war for short time met
one of his men In the street a few days
since, and, after talking over camp life,