The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1870-08-17

tOdC uI(S\
q stop until
Quite largS
have just gradua
entered alresdy
mOny. Their excuse is that the
used to discipline and order that
not get along without it.
A "lovyer," in whom the Prometbean fire
burns bright and effugent, has worked out
the following elegant specimen of literature
| and rhyme:
"Oh Sally tis my chief delite,
To gals upon your eyeses brite,
| Ny love for you by gosh cirpasses
The love feel for rum and asses."
The census-takers in different parts of
the country are collecting some very curious
information. They find that the highest
age attained by unmarried women is twenty
six years. 1t is we'll to have the point at
which they cease growing older definitely
fixed.
Vermont deacon was arrested and fined
the other day for nothing in the world but
hitching up fatherless boy, to whom he
was guardian. by the side of his horse,
und lashing him all the way home to make
him keep up. as a punishment for going q
short distance out Of town to participate
in game of base ball.
The other day. ina rural town, an inquest
was held over the body of a man who had
been killed by horse. After hearing the
testimony of several witnesses, the jury re-
tired and soon returned with the following
verdict: "That deceased came to his death
from the effects of wound in the head,
- e--z--H--s 49, A.-,-.~S .
horse"
An exchange says: Wyoming, having
tried female jurors. now proposes to send
woman to Congress. If ithe woman has
done anything that the laws of Wyoming
are not sufficiently stringent to punish, send
her to Congress by all means-and may God
have mercy on her,"
A colored inebriate was lying on bench,
in the central station, at Providence, when
the officer made his rounds of inspection.
Unable by the ftful gas light to discern the
prisoners features. the officer asked, ..Are
you colored!" NO." answered the disfran-
chised, drowsily, Il was born so.''
Lord Lytton, talking to DR.. about
public speaking, asked him whether he felt
his heart when he was going to speak.
Yes" "Does your voice frighten you?"
"Yes." "Do all your ideas forsake you!"
"Do you wish the floor to open and swallow
you!' Then you will make an orator."
Faith aud works were we'll illustrated BY
venturesome little six year old boy, who ran
into the forest after a team. and rode home
on a load of wood. When asked by his
mother if he was not afraid when the team
came down steep bill, he said: 'sYes, lit
tie; but asked the Lord to help me and
hung on like beaver"
A country deacon went home one eve
ming and complained to his wife that he had
been abused shamefully down at tho store.
One of the neighbors, he said. called him .
liar. Her eyes flashed with indignation.
why didn't you tell him to prove it," she
exclaimed. That's the very thing-that's
the trouble,'1 replied the husband; that's
just what l did do; told him to prove it.
and he did prove it!'' r.
As Governor Fairchild, of Wisconsin, and
friend were riding by rail from Madison
lately, two young ladins, with their beaux,
entered the crowded car, and the dis
tingui.hed gentlemen surrendered their seats
| to the fair ones. But great was their sur
prise to see the young men occupy their
seats and take their companions on their
laps. "By George" said the Governor,
We might have done that ourselves"
A Glasgow merchant, on his deathbed.
sent for Free Church clergyman. Having
some fears regarding his future prospects,
he asked the reverend gentleman: "Do you
think if were to leave f1O.OOO pounds to
the Free Kirk that my soul would be
saved!" WELL" answered the cautious
minister. II couldn't just promise you that.
ing"
Cook-"Yes, Susan, Pm q writin' to Mary
Ham Miggs. She.ev applied to mo fer the
charickter of my last missus, which she's
thinkin' of takin' the sitiwation."
| Susan "Will you give her oner'
! Cook-"Well, I've said this: She reads.
! Mrs. Perksitt presents her compliments to
Miss Miggs, and begs to inform that 1 con-
slider Mrs. Brown a respectable young per-
son, and one who knows her duties, but she
cant conshensly rekummend her temper, which
| he'd to part with her on that ak0unt.' It's
allus best to be candied, you know, Snsan.'
Punch.
/ A good joke is told of gentleman in
Cambridge, Maryland, who had farm q
short distance out iu the country, which
he leased to a tenant. the landlord to get
two-fifths of crops. When the crop was
saved. the tenant saddled his horse and
took the landlords share to him tied up in
handkerchief, who. upon seeing the bundle.
asked what was there. Your share of the
! wheat" said the tenant. Landlord-"My
, what!' Tenant-"Your share of the
wheat s'Take it back! take it back. And
next year, if you only base FIVE grains
) bring them in wagon; but never come
again horseback"