The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-05-19
HUMOROUS.

broth Of q boy.
Grocers should remember that honest
tea Is the best policy.
IF nan makes beast Of himself at
dinner, does he become the lion OF tbs
party!
What state is high IN the middle and
round at both ends? Ohi 0. Bully for
Ohio.
Question: "Nhat is house without q
baby?,' Answer: Well, comparatively
quiet.
A minister in the west, within ten
months, married couple, baptized their
first child, preached the funeral sermon Of
the husband, and married the wldog.
MoyoGRAMs. Some inquisitive snoop
says: Monogram carriers are growing IN
favor among fashionable young ladies'.
For instance-for Miss Brass letter b;
for Miss Plush letter p, and so on.
4 passenger on an Ohio railroad was
aroused from a serene slumber the other
night by the footing of the whistle, and
exclaimed The train has caught up
with those cattle again"
4 gentleman who is ashamed with his
intensely bald head, explains the absence
Of his hair by saying that he was born
poor, and was compelled to scratch his way
through life.
Teachcr-''Bo at the foot of the class
spell admittance. Boy \ DIM I
to c e, admiltance. Teacher-"Give
the definition" Boy-"Fifty cents, chill
dren half price; front seats reserved for
ladies'. !"
at is q sad moment in life," said
cynic, when you find that love, glory,
/ happiness, are, altogether, not worth
| good cigar" 1T Is a sadder moment
/ still, replied his friend, when you find
! tina. the cigar itself is bad. "
/ Il wish you would not smoke, said
plump little black eyed girl to her lover.
| ~ by may not smoke as well as your
I chimney 2"
because chimneys do not smoke when
/ they re in good order. -
! lie has quit smoking.
4 young man who had been n rrating
some OF his own wonderful exploits to a
crowd Of IOuagers one day, was thus re-
buked by an old codger among the list
eners l Dung man amt you ashamed to
talk 50 when there are older and ADLER
/ liars than yourself on the g0und?
Fashionable ladies can't eat particle of
breakfast unless they have red napkin.
a Texas man, who lately committed sui
eide by taking poison, left q note request
ing that knife be buried with him, 80
that if he came to, be could cut his way
out
Smart boy, who taken to task for eating
his little sisters piece of pie, defended
himself by saying, Mother you know
you always told me l ought to take my SIS
ter's paaP'
a bald man was making fun Of another
who wore a wig, and said You see how
bal9 / am and yet wear no wig"
True, was the retort, "but then, IN
empty barn needs no thatch. y
4 strong minded woman was heard to
remark the other day, that she would mar
~ man who had plenty of money, though
be was SO ugly she had to scream every
time she looked at him.
Little Jimmy knows moths have the
headache, and that S the reason druggists
advertise 'camphor for moths"
4 little girl of eight or ten summers,
being asked what dust was, replied that
1t was mud, with the juice squeezed
OUT
What shall do asked misery mil
| lionaire of his physician, for tightness
in my chest?" JOIN some charitable in.
stitution," said the doctor.
Aunt Susan says: Suppose all the
men were in one country, aud all the
women in another, with big river be-
tween them. Coed gracious what lots of
! poor women would be drowned'
i San Francisco school teacher has re-
cCived the following note: Il hope as to
mi John yu viii fog him as often as yu
/ ken. Heas bad boy is j John. Attic i've
seams to me that he never viii larn nothin.
/ His speilin is outrajisly def,hent. Wonop
/ him well ser and va will rescev mi thanks.
! p s-what accounts fur john ben sich a
poor skoliur is that he is mi SUI bi mi
wite's fu.t husband"
4 waggish journalist, who is often mer>
ry over his personal plainnoss, tells this
story on himself | went to 4 chemist the
other day for some morphine for sick
| friend. The assistant objected to giving it
to me without prescription, evidently
fearing that | wanted to commit suicide
S'Rnf SSit L, w, L itDh Inc man
who would kill himself?" Gazing stcadi-
! ly at NE fox moment he replied, Il
don't know. i seems to me if [ look ed
Ike you, | should be greatly tempted to
kill myself. .
*" the well known photographer,
took the ears for home the other night,
and, wearied with long days work in
posing hard subjects for pictures, fell into
a gentle dose. At the first station a lady
entered, and stopping at the vacant seat
/ by *. s side, said Can | sit here.
sir?' ''Ies'm," said the half aroused
artist. Full length or bust ?"
\ western coroner's jury returned YER
| diet that the deceased came to bis death
/ from exposure. What do you mean by
( that?' asked relative of the dead man.
/ there are two bullet holes in his skull -
! The coroner replied, with wave of his
magisterlal hand, just so; he died from
/ exposure to bullets"
4 young gentleman recently found him
self in company with three young ladies,
aud generously divided an orange between
them. You will rob yourself" exclain>
cd one Of the damsels. Not at all, " re-