The weekly Arizona miner., 1870-06-04
The ainer.
Why Aunt Sally never Married.

"Now, Aunt Sally, do please tell us why you never married. You know you said once that when you were gih you were engaged to minister, and promised that you would tell us all about it sometime. Now, Aunt, please do."
 "Well, if ever did sec such girls in all my born days It's tease, tease, from morning till night, but what you must know all about everything that you hayn't any business to know anything about. Such inquistiye, pestiferous creatures as you arel When was young, girls was different; they minded | their business and didn't go sailing around | with whole string of beaux, gettin' their | heads filled with all sorts of nonsense. l | never dared to ask my aunts, married or sim | gle. about any of their affairs Pretty mess I'd got into if 1 had. When they offered to tell me anything of their own accord, l kept my mouth and listened. Everything is diff ferent nowadays; young folks have no re- spect for their elders. But as see am not going to have any peace till l tell you, why list listen, and don't let me hear word out of one of your mouths till get through"
 That's right, Aunt Sally, go right ahead do, and we'll keep perfectly straight
 Well, you see, when I was about seven teen years of age, was living in Utica, in the State of New York Though say it myself, was quite good looking girl then, and had several beaux. The one that took my fancy most was young minister, very promising young man, and remarkably pious and steady. He thought good deal of me, and kind of took fancy 10 him, and things ran on till we were engaged.
 "One evening he came to mel remember it as well as if it were only yesterday. When he came into the parlor where I was sitting alone, he came up to me and--but now, pshaw girls, don't like to tell the rest"
 "Oh, Aunt Sally, for mercy's sake, don't stop; tell us what he did"
 "Well, as 1 said, he came up to me and put his arms around me, and rather hugged me, while got excited and some frustrated, and it was long time ago, and don't know but what l might have hugged him back a little. Then I felt-but now just clear out, every one of you, 1 shan't tell you any more" "Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally. Tell us how you felt. Didn't you feel good; and what did he do nextT'
 "Oh, such torments as you are. l was like any other girl; and pretty soon 1 pretended to be mad about it, and pushed him away though wasn't mad bit You must know that the house where lived was on one o the back streets of the town. There were glass doors in the parlor, which opened right out over the street, and no balcony or any thing of the kind in front of the house A, it was in the summer season, these door were open and the shutters drawn to. stepped back a little from him, and when h, edged up close pushed him away again. pushed harder than intended to, and. don you think, girls, the poor fellow lost his bal ance, and fell through one of the doors int the street. Yes, it's so. And as he fell gave scream and caught hm-but declare won't tell any more. I'm going to leav the room.n
 No, no, Aunt Sally. How did you catel himl Did it hurt him much 7n
 Well, If l must, I must. He fell hea first, and as he was going, caught him b tho leg of the trowsers. I held on for a mir ute, and tried to hold him back, but his sus penders gave way, and the poor young ma fell clear out of his pantaloons into a whol parcel Of ladies and gentlemen passing th street"
 "Oh, Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, Lordy. H. he, her'
 There, that's right; giggle and squeal much as you want to. Girls that can't heI about little thing like that without tearin around the room, and he-he-ing in such way, don't know enough to come in when rains nice time the man that marries or of you will have, won't he I Catch me tel ing you anything again."
 But, Aunt Sally, what become of him Did you never see him again 7'
 "No; the moment he touched the groun he got up and left that place in terrb hurry. Itell you it was a sight to be r membered to see how that man did ru Father happened to be coming up the stre at the time, and he never saw anything equal it in his whole life heard others ss that he did the fastest running ever know in that part of the country, and that he nev stopped or looked behind until he was ty miles out of town. He sent me A note a fe days afterwards, saying that the engageme must be broken of, as he never could To, me in the face again, after what had ha pened. He went out West, and believe is preaching out in Illinois. But he ney married. He was very modest, and su pose he was so badly frightened at that tin that he never dared to trust himself near woman again. That, girls, is the reason never married. I felt very bad about it for long time, for he was a real good man. al I've often thought to myself that we sbou always have been happy if his suspendt hadnt giuen way"
 THE Albany Argus furnishes this: At