Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1870-08-11

While grayely telling us what tits
That ails us is the 2lhthiSic.
| Then cure US with so big bill
| We never more are bilious
Most learned speeches off will reel,
| Like golden-tongued Aurelius.
| And, as the mention, cen, of Poe
Suggests at once the poet,
| So, when our President says "Gor
feel obliged to $50 it! ~
And thus our speaker can't lack help,
| With such host of helpers;
So true it is that one lone yelp
| Starts up hundred yelpers.
You will, no doubt, expect my muse
| To sing of things amusing;
| But, with so much from which to choose,
How difficult the choosing!
And if her choice proves indiscreet,
My luckless muse-poor creetur
Will sing no longer than is meet,
| And in no longer meter.
| Our mothers body corporate
That is, her corporation
Is to her welfare consecrate,
Though lacking conservation.
Among misanthropists and scolds
We often hear the saying
That Corporations have no souls"
And hence no use in praying!
| IT'S often true; yet, as the root
Helps make the ttee well rooted,
So alma Matters sole-of her foot
Has rendered her sure footed.
Besides of late it has been found
| Since s. a C. was founded
That she is largely gaining ground,
And is, in fact, well grounded.
And so to-morrow's final test
Will find her Corporation
In health sufficient to digest
It's bountiful Collation..
Our mothers age scarce sensibly
| AFFECTS her young ambition;
For she's wond 'rous Faculty
For lettering her condition
And when her chosen men of mark
-I3OIeSSO7S e en- at marking
In some new scheme see fit t embark"
She's eager for embarking.
Among these faithful men we find
Two classes-some, our "Brothers,"
While dina Mater, shrewd and kind,
Adopted all the others.
And isn't it pleasant sight, -.,...--
When Oil and water won't unite,
To see these we'll united
And so let alma Ndtsrlet
Them serve her to the letter,
For when they pass away I'll bet
She won't get any betterl
Let it be said with reverence
And please be reverential-
Whatever comes through Providence
OF course is providential.
To Alma Matters great surprise
Unused to great surprises
An angel came in thin disguise,
But quick threw off DISCUSSES;
And straightway served her with a will,
So able and so willing
Nor seems Inclined to leave, until
She's no more soil worth tilling.
And let me tell you of plan
AS shrewd as man could plan it,
Ann Arbor, out in Michigan,
Was where he first began it
ga most inviting place to go!
Now tell me, will you go, Sir !
Propitious, too, the change, you know"
He looked, but answered-"N0, SIR
"Young Michigan, no doubt, is green;
Vert Mont, is surely, greener
Her lake, at times, is quite serene;
Champlain is much serener.
"Your States the larger of the two,
And long the distance to it,
While here's a Stately work to do,
And L must stay-GRd do it,
SO, while results approximate,
Thus prays our Alma Mater
"May he whose coming was so late,
Return to heaven far later.''
But should my muse much longer sins,
Aoh ia "SdIy VI utT SINGING
Though she as many changes ling
AS ever bells were ringing,
We find it pleasant to be here
Each one to be a nearer;
Or fill these brothers hearts with cheer,
And be at least a cheerer.
I've lately thought one thing we've lacked
We're bachelors, MagiSterS,
D. DIS, LII. DPS and, in fact,
We've everything but "Sisters."
Vile woman-haters like to tell,
When speaking of the ladies,
How woman drags man down to''-wen
Vernacular for Hddes!
But these vile men are nOaC so low
They never IL get much loweri
And even when grim death shall NOW.
Will sink but few feet morei
We know that Woman operates
Precisely like the leaven; +@
And by her influence elevates.
And brings man nearer Heaven.
And so we welcome her as "guest,"
And deem it good and pleasant;
Not all we'd call her, but the best
That we can dc at present.
But when our Alma Mater gives
To woman free admission;
And many worthy girl now lives
Who cjvets such position
hen either sex can thus exert
It's influence, unfettered,
And neither sex thereby be hurt,
But rather both be bettered:
And when in keeping with this plan
Divine instead of human
Is formed the noblest kind of man,
And highest style of woman =
Then he now will not assist
In training up a 'ssister"
Will see, too late, just what he missed
And cry, ga lQss-I missed her!
So nor, dear mother pray begin
Take Woman as beginner
And let us have Alunan8 din
With each Alumni dinner!
And when such dinners come to pass,
And round your Pudding passes,
GU never'n need exclaim s.
Wish We had some-'sasses!"