The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-10-27
ytaamqsifqEI EIHIEE- saFg afjm2
BY JOSH BILLINGS.
! = hate =; s.,.ss1t . ,1,s:ss1tJQaGs.sA q wa

a fiji has'got no NEnaHheFs. -
He amt no gentleman.
F He,4 sh61Eoodsr, dSHt teseM in no
kard, nor ak an interduckshun, nor
Ehon't knox at the front door, and nu-
yer, nuver think nv takin of his hat.
Rhaox9u kno he issin behfHith yt6hlf
and up yore nose-tho what he wants
thar is q s,nistryl' and he invites 1hisl
self to breakfast, and sets dQun. in
yore blftsr<tbdut brhshin. .iis. .paSA.C 4
He helps hisself to sugar, and meat,
and IiierlassiS and BRED aAd per
suryes, and Finegyzennything, aud
don't wait for no invitation. He's
got a good aappytite, and jistlas sun
eat one thing as anuther.
Taint 40 use to- challenge Him. for
takin' liberties he keeps up hostile
korrispondence with. you, u,owhstherg or
not, and shoots hisseIf at you like a
built, and he nuver misses, nuyer.
He'll kiss yore wife 204iaEs day,
and zizz zoo, ana didie6le Jbn IF you
say q word, and he'd2Hithef 3you'd
slap at him thannoE box; hes doger
nv the dodgieihist Zine. Every time
you slap, you don't slap him, but slap
yoreself, and he zizzez aAd'pfnts the
hine leg of skorn at you, till he aggra-
Yates you to. distfakskin. \ 0Gld
He glories in lightin every pop on
the iKaedt spot Whar ly0nb dru9 him
from, Wich pruves the intention to
teeze Sou Don't tell me he amt got
no mind he knows what he Is. after.
He's got sense and to much oy it,
tho demurrer gent to skool day in
his LIE, ixcepz ii a supe dish.
He's 4 mean. Malignant, owdashns,
fTremeadi< cnss.
His tno1her ever padded him witt
slipper. 1Tis MORALS wuz nigleck.
It'd, and lie lscks i good deal ov hu-
mility mitely. he amt bashful bit
and I doubt il be blashes offing. :
4 In fack, be Wuz nuvsr fetcheanp q
tall.
/ He was born full-grown he DOM
git old -uther things eli Old, but he
nuves gifts Old and he is imperdent-
and mischevons to the day of his
doth.
4 He droopz II cold weather, and yor
kin masll him On ) window pain, and
you've jeEt pat your finger in it., He
comes agin next yeer and heep more
] with ksszi zz,zis1f No nso-
! One ilffo family might do fol
amuzemeut bas tic good ov SO menny
: iize l Be dogen ef kin see, kin you
i has thort much about fiize, and
dBaz not:st he~ ofting they istop il
thar delviry to comb thar heads an6
scratch Nasr' noze, with thar fourlegs
and gouge thai: arrnpits under thai
wings, and the tops ov thar wing
with. thar legssdli6 ,sAlIo
ibs And my kandid opynim ar tina
flize is loRsy /, they peechesalli the eitime
is miserbul, and that makes 'ena abat
tempered, and 5wantI foi MAX nthel
peepil miserbul too.
h Ef that ainto the fossfy ov 'fize,
I give up.
AitK6d fiji sdon'essaai in his lksrd ii
railways leaves one, and 1 don't like it
4 Taint pritty,29 if 'tis roddd. He kan
make cross-rnark, only dot, and h
is always dotting whar tha9A aint n,
. is. There is no end to his periods
but he never cuIns toa l fun stop o,i :
Sich handritin is disagreabil.
H He is an artist; but his ,frsscp an hi
4 wall paperin I don't admire. Thar
too much cthl4sam ssamensas, nlslfsi,in in his patterns
, His specs is thesonly specs is the onl
specs that don't help thr eyes. Yo
kant see tfFoo u uf,, H., and d. yHouEdeiai H I
/ want to.
N c, Ibhateial fiji 10 dyois t4asa -. :. eeEoTT.
t Darn fiji.