Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-09-06
Lst2ach for HaI22sO7'ists.

lE
Bill of the period-the mosquitoes e
The children's kingdom-Lapland.
Universal topics-The Rhine and the rhino.
A bird on the roast is worth two on the roost.
Do you make game of man when you
make him quail? p
The lady who bordered on distraction is GO
ing to try real thread lace. 2
What man wants-all be can get. What
woman wants-a she can't get.
Il young lady in Philadelphia has Just cele-
brated her wooden wedding by marrying a
biockhead . I
i Cincinnati orator wishing to apostrophize
the national banner got it: Forever feet that
standard shoat. -- 4
The youth who cried Excelsior" didn't
know that he was naming five out of every six
saloons In the country. g saG &E Il
A gentleman of Raleigh, few days ago, sat
down on a hornets nest to rest himself He
didn't take long to rest. 5ae j.
''Yo GU look as though you were beside your
self, as the wag said to a top who happened
to be standing by donkey. go erstI
A young lady, about to be married, says she
will not promise to love, honor and obey, but
wall say instead love, honor and be gay.
Striking similarity between sword-fsh and
puppy-one tags whale when it is pleased
to, aud the other wagsa tail when it is pleased,
too. 4rcs1 5ae r. '-r4s : h.ae
''Solaced in .durance vile by the radiant
smiles of connubial love-" Translation-His
wife went to see him In Jail, where he was sent
for stealing.
A mother had repeatedly called her little son
to come and say his prayers, as it was bedtime.
Finally ne stopped his play and said Whats
the matter, mama, is God in hurry. ,ss
A man who went fishing 10 private pond in
suburban town, complains that he only got
oae bite, and that was from dog whose mas
ter owned the pond
A New York tailor was startled the other
day by the return of a bill which he had sent
to magazine editor, with notice that the
manuscript was respectfully declined.
We overheard two negroes the other day ar
golng about the creation of the world, when
one said: de world rested on turtles back
de bible seq so' Is dat SOP What does it
say the turtle rested on p Hush yer mouf
big nlggah, You done gone and broke up the
argument.
Johnny. what gender is hose-stockings
you know" Sometimes masculine and some
times feminine " No, no, my son, hose is
neuter. WELL anyhow, heard man talk
Ing on the farm where We boarded, and he said
he hoes, and she hoes and the old man
hoes, and that knocks your neuter higher than
kite"
The following from the Shenandoah Herald.
published in Woodstock, shows how beauty is
appreciated and rewarded in Shenandoah
county:
"a PARTY Of few personal friends were
invited by Miss hioe + Funk, on Monday
night, to attend, at her home, the cutting of
the very nice cake presented to her. at the Ed
inburg Masonic Celebration, as prize to the
most beautiful single lady in attendance on that
occasion. The Strasbarg Cornet Band was al
so IN attendance and discoursed some of their
choicest music ia which they are so very pro-
hclent. The occasion was exceedingly pleasant
to al! IN attendance.
QUICK AND EASY CURE FOR FOUNDER
Iie8n out the bottom of the hoof thoroughly
n0id up the lee so as 20 bring the bottom of the
hooi upward. holding it firmly in horizontal
position, and pour In say tablesnoonfnl of
spirits turpentine if the cavity Of the hoof will
nod that much if not, pour in what it will
hoid, without danger of running over; touch
the turpentlne with red hot iron, THAT will
set It 90 ire j hold the hoof firmly in position
untli 1t all burns out. Great care must be taken
that none runs over On the hair of the hoof, lest
TIE skin he burned. If all the feet are affect
ed, burn turpentine in each of them. Relief
will speedily follow, and the animal will be
ready for service IN short time ,>s
-----e.-----------
10 MAKE SALT Butter FREsH.-Put four
pounds OF salt butter into a churn with four
quarts 0: pew milk and small portion of ar
naIto' Churn them together, aud in about an
honF take out the butter, and treat it exactly
as fresh butter, by washing it In water and add
ing customary quantity Of salt. This is sin
GUAR experiment. The butter gains about
three ounces IL each pound, and is in every
particular equal to fresh butter 1t would he
greatly Improved by the addition of two or three
ounces OF Tine sugar In powder. A common
eartnen churn answers the same purpose as
wooden one, and may be purchased at any
china shop.
SEED WHEAT. Select the wheat that has
Gsoe the best growth, and from that norton
OF the held that has ripened first and filed best.
peep tie selected wheat by itself, and take none
put the best the windmill will clean Sow the
largest aud best grain. To every ten bushels
pour on SIX gallons of wash, made of lime and
iys run from the ash hopper. Slack as much
htne With this iye as will leave it in LIQUID
sta'e' use nearly one gallon per bushel if wet
l Keep stirring the wheat until perfectly dry.2
inis Is the pest mixture to prevent smut and
TO give strength to the straw.
The county roads need renair Thew ORC
growing worse every rain; and by Winter will
be almost impossible, if thew are mot in T tbn
meantime worked. If any citizen imaoinas be
is not liable to be called out by overseas T,ho
were appointed by the old county conrt he h InS
better dismiss the idea; and if anv overs nar
believes himself relieved of respons;b;i;tv br
the election of Commissioner of Roads ,act
May, he is mistaken. The old road lsus , sra
still In iull force Wdrenton Inder
1t has always been the custom in the Jew;sb
ssynagogues for men and women to sit anartDa
blt OF discipline which George Fox borroped
tor MS Quaker congregation, and one which
they still observe. The Jews of San Franc;sco
Dy vote OF So to a. have abolished the rnJe
and henceforth the sons and daughters Of Is,
raei VIII SIT side by side in that city.
A PRACTICAL OFFER.-A Georgia stowe
dealer offers SIS stove to the young ladv he
tween thirteen and eighteen years of age who
shall, during the State fair, best illustrate her
knowledge OF the use of such articles bv cook-
Ing dinner for six persons on the State fair
grounds tt = "'o i"I
There were on Saturday week 10 rr;so,ou,