Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1870-10-21
EEssEaEGre

The kitchen game-poker.
An ill-bred mana sick baker.
Nameless deed-an unsigned will.
Handy book markers-dirty fingers.
A accommodating party-Paul Pry.
Beasts Of the feld-drunken reapers
Liquid understanding out for drink
tender ,lace-behind the locomotive.
A sculptor's garment marble mantei'
The best flowers for winter wear-Furze.
A go.ahead class-the locomotive eugin-
GERS.
The best abdominal supporter good
dinner.
A man may live justly by avoiding what
be bames in others.
The way for people to win golden opln-
ions is to have plenty Of brass.
The teetotaller's Paradise-the Temper
ate Zone.
The pedestrians guide pook-W alkers
dictionary.
A man with long head is not very apt
to be head long
Meats are high but COWS low-when they
are hungry.
Which side of horse to take in mount
ing-the outside.
Spirit of the New Jersey press-apple
jack and cider.
When is water most liable to escape
when it is half tide.
When is butterfly like akiss? When it
alights.so tulips.
The favorite romance Of ofice-seekers-
put yourself in his place.
Why talk Of freside circles any longer,
when they are all stove?
A small thing to keep-the right side
of some people.
High houses are mostly empty in the up
per story. .a
Woman was created before man, wasn't
Eve the first maid !?
4 am on the trail of DEAR as gentle
man said when he trod on lady's dress.
Nothing is more USEFUL than. starch; but
If should be put into garments, NOS man
ners.
Maxim for the next new Presdent--a
place for everybody, and everybody In his
place.
People who are hard up are generally IN
a tight place, and those who are tight are
often in a hard place.
To cure deafness. Tell man you've come
to nav him money. 1t beats acoustic OIL all
hollow.
what is home without mother 2 as
the young girl said when she sent the old
lady to chop wood.
OF garments it may be said that man Cor
woman) wants but little now, and that not
long That's the short of it.
One Of the great wants of the age is said
to be safe which cannot be robbed by It's
owner.
Equality MEANS says French writer,
"a desire to be equal to your superiors, and
superior to your equals.
Out West when notorious lazy man is |
caught at work, they say he is 'meddllng |
with industry
The world has had its iron age, its golden |
age and its age Of bronze. Radicalism has !
made the present the age Of steal.
It may be said of too manysrof our public |
men that they are last in war, last in peace,
but first in the pockets of their countrymen.
Mrs. Partiagton says that since the in
vention of the needle-gun there is no reason
why women shouldn't fight as well as men.
A sharp young lady says there is nothing
more touching in this life than to see poor
but virtuous young man struggling with a
weak moustache.
An analizing dame reports that she has
heard of but one old woman who kissed her
COW, but she knows Of thousands Of young
ones who kiss very great calves.
A gentle heart is like ripe fruit which
bends 50 low that it is at the mercy Of every
one who chooses to pluck it, while the har-
der fruit keeps out Of reach.
If, a. Lucy Stone says, the cradle is the
woman's ballot box there has got to be a
law passed in Indiana against repeating |
A woman there has just cast three votes at
once.
New Lisbon, Ohio, has female base ball |
club. One of the girls recently made |
home run. She saw her father coming |
with switch He proved an excellent |
short STOP
A Pennsylvania paper tells Of note
shaver in Meadville who keeps the trunk
containing his securities near the head of his
bed, and lies awake to hear them draw in
terest.
Creditor How often must climb three
pairs of stairs before [ get the amount of
this little account?' Dsbtor-'Do you think
am going to rent place on the first floor
to accommodate my creditors ?
A gallant was lately sitting beside bis be-
loved, and being unable to think of anything |
to say, asked her why she was like tailor.
L don't know. said she with pouting lip |
unless it's because I am sitting beside
goose
Sir said an astonished landlady to a
traveller who mad just sent his cup forward
for the seventh time, you must be very
fond of coffee Yes, madam. I am he
replied, sor I never should have drank so
much water to get SO little