Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-02-19
FACETIE.

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A traveller asked his landlord
If he had any eases Of sunStroke
in that town. "No, sir" said the
landlord, of a man gets drunk
here, we say he Is drunk, and we
never call him by any other
name"
"My lord" said the foreman of
a Welsh jury, when giving in the
verdict, "we find the man who
stole the horse not guilty"
An mchin of six or seven years
went into a barber shop in Racine,
Wisconsin, and ordered the barber
to cut his hair as close as shears
could do it. He was asked if his
mother ordered it that way. "No,"
said he, "but school commences
next week, and we've got a school
ma'am hat pulls hair, and I'm
bound to fix her this term, You
bct.n
In "a Book About Words" an
explanation is given Of the phrase,
"Nine tailors max" a man." In
the olden time the strokes of the
passing bell were called "tellerS,n
and as the nine strokes indicated
the death Of a man, while three
announced that of a child, and six
that Of a woman, the words "nine
tcllcrS" were easily perverted into
nlne tailors.
The author of est. Elmo" and
"NaSht' is engaged upon aSelucl
to the latter novel, which, it is
said, will render Worcester's
Unabridged Dictionary entirely
useless.
An obituary notice says, the
poor fellows loss was sorely felt
10y an insurance company.
a California editor has been
interviewing a cinnamon bear. lie
describes the conduct OF the inter
viewed as touching in the extreme.
SO much 50 that he was constrain
ed to leave with him several locks
of hair, his oyercoat, and a portion
OF his right hand, as keepSakeS, in
memory OF the occasion.
Doctor Chapman, Of Philadel.
rhia, whose wit was equal to his
medicine, having been invited by
a friend, more eminent for a love
OF show than for real literary at
talnmcnts, to examine his newly
fjtted-up library, was asked how
he liked The taste displayed. lie
looked round upon the gorgeous
crimson curtains, the rich maho.
gany cases, and dark maroon ia.
per carpets, and then, with his
peculiar comical expression and
nasal voice, replied, "Erery thing
real red bit the books.'
A gentleman travelling in the
West stopped at the house of q
pious old woman, and, observing
her tondneSS for a pet dog, ven.
tured to ask the name OF the
animal. The good woman an.
sWered by saying that she called
INN Moreover" SIS not that a
strange name!' inquired the gen
tleman. Yes said the old lady.
"but thought it must be a GOOD
one, as found it in the Bible
Ground it in the Bible p quoth
the gentleman. "Pray, and in
what part of the Bible did YOU
ind it?' The old lady took down
her Bible with the utmost reyer-
ence, and turning to the text, read
as follows: "Noyeorer, the dog
came and licked his sores.1 There!m
Satd she, wasn't the dogs name
M0reOrer ~
lioW wisely Nature, orderidg all below.
/ orbade on wolnan's chin a beard to
grow;
for now should she be shaved, whate'er
Whose tongue would never lot her chin
be still.
The following is the title of a
pamphlet, in verse, written two
hundred years ago: "Tobacco
battered, and the Pipes shattered
laDout their ears who idly Idolize
SO base and barbarous Il Weed).
oy a volley of Holy Shot, thun.
dered from Mount Helicon.n 1t
IS perhaps, the earliest satire on
the use of tobacco.
Once on a time | fair Amelia kiss'd
whose nose was too distinguished to be
SAD MY love, I fain would kiss.
CLOS n,
But though yOur lips say yes, a
says, no, Sir.5 III
Smother, where is
ing to sleepW asked
OF her mother, WI
o q 5raE .aRs'rsjM
pose, n
IN
Il III
III