The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-07-22
HOW EDITED AN AGRICULTU
RAJ PAPER ONCE.
BY MARK TWAIN.

l did not take the temporary edi
torship of an agricultural paper with
out misgivings. Neither would 6
landsman take command of a shiT
without misgivings. But l was il
circumstances that made the salary
an object. The regular editor Of the
paper was going of, for a holiday
and accepted the terms he offered
and took his place.
The sensation of being at work
again was luxurious, and wrought
all the week with unfagging plea
sure. We went to press and 1 wait
ed a day with some soicitude to see
whether my efforts was going to at
tract any notice. As 1 lett the Office
toward sundown, a group Of meu and
boys at the foot of the stairs dis
persed with one impulse, and gave
me passageway, and I heard one OF
them say, "That's hint" 1 was nat
urally pleased by this incident. The
next morning l found a similar
group at the foot of the stairs, and
scattering couples and individuals
standing here and there in the street
and over the way, watching me with
interest. The group separated and
fell back as l approached and I heard
a man say: "Look at his eye!"
pretended not to observe the notice
1 was attracting but secretly I was
pleased with it, and was purposing
to write an account of it to my aunt
I went up the short fight of stairs,
and heard CHEEKY voices and a ring
ing laugh as I drew near the door,
which l opened and caught a glimps
of two young, rural-looking men,
whose faces blanched and lengthen-
ed when they saw me, and then they
both plunged through the window
with a crash. / was surprised.
In about half an hour an old gen.
tlemen with a flowing beard and {
fine but rather austere face, entered
and sat down at my invitation. Ht
seemed to have something on hi:
mind. He took off his hat and sal
on the floor, and got out of it a rec
silk handkerchief and a copy Of oul
paper. He put the paper OF his lap
and while he polished his spectacle:
with his handkerchief he said
Are you the new editor?"
I said l was.
"Have you ever edited an agricul
tural paper beforep
NO" I said, "this is my first at
tempt"
"Very likely. Have you had any
experience in agriculture, practical
.lyp'
mo, 1 believe 1 have not"
"Some instinct told me So" sale
the old gentleman, putting on hi
spectacles and looking over them a
me with asperity, while he folded hi
paper into a convenient shape. {"
wish to read you what must hav,
made me have that instinct. Itwai
this editorial. Listen, and see if i
was you that wrote it;
"'Turnips should never be pullet
it injuries them. It is better t,
send a boy up and let him shake tn
tree"
''Now, what do you think of that
for 1 really suppose you wrote it?'
"Tbink Of it? Why, I think it i
good. think it is sense. I havl
no doubt that, every year, millions
and millions of bushels of turnipi
are spoiled in this township alone B,
being pulled in a ahalf-ripe condition
when, if they had sent a boy up Il
shake the tree
"Shake your grandmother! Tur
nips don't grow on trees~
"Oh, they don't, don't they? Well
who said they did? The languag,
was intended to be figurative, who'll,
fgurative. Anybody that know
anything, will know hat 1 mean
that the boy should shake the vine.
Then this old person got up anC
tore his paper all into small shreds
and stamped on them, and broke sew
eral things with his cane, and said
did not know asmuch as a COW; anC
then went out and banged the doc
after him, and, in short, acted in sucl
way that l fanced he was dis
pleased about something. But, no
knowing what the trouble was,
could not be any to help to him.
Pretty soon after this long cadav
erous creature with lanky lock
hanging down to his shoulders an,
a weeks stubble bristling from tn
hills and valleys of his face, dartel
within the door, and halted motion
less, with finger on lip, and head an
body bent in listening attitude. II,
sound was heard. Still he listened
No sound. Then he turned the key
in the door, and came elaborated
tip-toeing toward me, till he wa
within long reaching distance of me
when he stopped, and, after SCANNING
my face with intense interest for
while, drew a folded copy of our pa
per from his bosom, and said
'There-you wrote that. Read j
to me, quick! Relieve me quick
suffer"
1 read as follows-and as the sen
tences fell from my lips could Sc
the drawn muscles, and the anxiet!
go out of the face, and rest and peac
stole over the features like the mel
ciful moonlight over a desolate land
scape:
"The guano is a fine bird, bu
great care in necessary in rearing i
1t should not be imported earle
than June nor later than September
In the winter it should be kept in
warm place, where it can hatch on
its young.
1t is evident that we are to have
backward season for grain. There
fore, it will be well for the farmer t
begin setting out his corn stalks an
planting his buckwheat cakes in il
tIy instead of August.
Concerning the Pumpkin-Thi
berry is a favorite with the native
of the interior of New England, Wh
prefer it to the gooseberry for th
making of fruit cake and who likr
wise give to the preference oYt
the raspberry for feeding COWS, 6
being more filling and fully as satil
flying. The pumpkin is the only e
culent of the orange family that wi
thrive in the North, except the gour
. I 4 u