Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-09-10
nj MORS OF THE DAY.

A Night Chargc-A squalling baby.
Mis-govcrnment--W omanhood suf-
The man who had no music in his
sole wo~rc.scasoned leather.
III take the shine out of you," rs
the eclipse said to the moon.
A woman's heart is like q fiddle it
requires a bow to play upon it.
A Se1l-Having to pay after your
boots have been sold.
Stepping stones to nd anccment in
lifc-PavementS.
What sort of leggings would you
explore the Nile with? Alli-gaitars.
Tho man who was looking for a
station in life has found ono "A police
station,
A bachelor friend say. hat he dis
likes young married couples, "becauso
they are apt to give themselves heirs"
If n tailor agrees to pr braid on a
coat, does he always consider the
agreement binding?
"Mary, my love, this apple dump
ling is not half done. -" We'll, finish
it then, my dear"
When is a scolding woman most of
fence-ive? When she's deaf as n post
and rails.
IN Iowa girl wants to die but she
prefers to be smOthcred to death with
kisses
Ever. plain Cir has one consolation,
though no. d pretty young lady she
will, if she lives, be a pretty old one.
Why are Chickens liberal7 Be-
cause they give a peck when they take
a grain.
Who smoked the first pipe? Pro-
methGus, when he stole the fire from
heaven to light his clay.
Unjust be ahappy thought to a low
or that his blood and that of his sweet
heart minglc in the same Musquito.
Can any civil engineer inform us
how it is that the mouths of rivers
are larger than their heads?
aft all the world were blind, what
a melancholy sight it would be-" said
an Irish clergyman to his congrcga-
ton.
A WILD lMAGINATIoN.-"I do not
say remarked Mrs. Brown, "that
Jones is a thief; but | do say that if
his farm joined mine l would not try
to keep sheep
What is the difference between a
railway train and q suspending bank:
In one case the break causes the stop
page; in the other the stoppagc eau
SEES the break.
A Bachelor c a.captain, who wa,
rcmarking II day that he wanted {
good chief officer, was promptly in
formed by a young lady that she ha(
no objections to being his first mate
lie took the hin, and the lady,
A tircsOme talker once said to {
public man he had incontinently Dor.
ed
An oyster is pleasantto cat, though
lepulsiye to look at"
"Yes, but then he knows when to
shut up" was the reply,
A woman is like ivy--the more YOU
are ruined tie closer she 3lirgs to you.
A vile old bachelor adds:
"lvy is like woman; the more il
clings to You the more you are ruined
Poor rule that won't work both
ways.
Lady Beaulicu was complaining OF
being Nwokc by noise in the night.
Her lord, an lrishman, replied:
con, for my part, there's no dis
turbing me if they don't wake me
before [ go to sleep, there's no waking
me afterwards
One day in June, 4 neighbor met an
old man, and remarked that it was
very hot. eyes," said Joe: "if it
wasn't for II thing | should say we
were going to have a thaw."
Whats that?" inquired the friend.
There's nothing %irozc," said Joe.
A California Chinaman, having
been shown by his mistress how to
make a pudding containing three eggs,
but having seen her throw ono bad
egg away, continued for months after,
whenever he made the pudding, to
use four eggs, regularly breaking,
examining, and throwing ore away,
as he had seen her do.
An orator appealing to the "bone
and sinew, " said:
MY friends, | am proud to see
around me the hardy yeomanry of the
land, for love the agricultural inter-
ests of the country and well may l
love them, fellow. citizens, for / was
born q farmer; the happicst days of
my youth were spent in the peaceful
avocation of n son of the soil. In fact.
to speak flguratively, | may say / was
born between two rows of 3crn!" y
"A gumpkin, by It. lder!" ex.
c%laineu an inebriatcd Ct . in front of
tn, stage.
SINGULAR ARITH EIICAL FA
ANY number Of figures you NAY wish
to multiply by 5, will give the same