Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1870-12-16

iAU hoUA4o ana pAIU hUA1Ss 6s % per
annum-psysble in advance :;.i EsE
Trial Of witness.
Mr.. PUNCHINELLo AT the beginning of
last week ! made my first appearance in any
courtroom in the character of witness in the
case of Valentino vs.. Orson, in which the point
in dispute was the ownership Of tract of land
in Wyoming Territory. knew something in
regard to tho sale of these lands, and was fully
prepared to testify to the extent Of my know
ledge in the premises ; but judge Of my utter
surprise and horror, on being obliged 10 60
through such an ordeal as the following ex-
tracts from my examination will indicate -
The counsel fer the plaintiff commenced by
asking me if was married man, and when
I answered that was, be said
"Is your wife believer 10 the principles OF
the Woman's Rights party p q.
could not, for the lite OF me, see what this
had to do with the land 10 Wyoming but l
answered that | was happy to say she was
not.
The examination then proceeded as fol-
lows: a.
moniai relations A. Yes-(and remem.
bering the oatb) reasonably so.
o. Is your wife pretty? A. Witness re-
membering at once his oath and his wife's
presence in court) She is pretty pretty.
O. What are her defects A. (Witness
remembering only his wife's presence.) have
never been able to discover them.
Q. Do you veal. flannel Z? A. Yes. in win.
ter. :..tr ,.,.f. !. = j ..@...
Q. Can you testify. upon your oath. that
you do not wear flannel in summer? A. l
can.
@. Now be careful in your answer What
l. IL IL &.ll0
wear my common clothes, ;. :: T. j, 49, -.
o. With flannel or without flannel A.
Sometimes with, and sometimes without.
O. No evasion you must tell the court ex-
actly when you wear flannel and when you do
not. 90
A series of questions on this subject brought
out the fact that [ wore flannel when the
weather was cold, or cool and.did not wear it
when it was mild, or warm.
Q. Have you lightning rod on your house?
A. I have.
@. How much did it cost you to have it put
up? A: 1t has not cost me anything yeti
owe for it.
@. Is that all you owe forH A. No. I
@. Have you any money with you now?
Q. How much A. Counting contents OF
ports monnaie.) Sixty.two cents.
@. Where did you get that? A. with
embarrassment borrowed it: =.
q. Were you present when defendant first
offered his land for sale to the plaintiff. A.
(Brightening up l was.
O. Doyo burn gas or kerosene in your
house ? A. Gas.
o. How many burners? A. Ten, think.
Q. Are you willing to assert, upon your sol
emn oath, that there are only ten Z A. tWit
ness counting Oh his fipgers.) l am.
q. Do you wear studs or buttons en- your
shirt fronts A. Studs.
0. Gold or pearl? A. Mother pearl, as
general thing, but sometimes l wear one
gold one at the top. ;,
O. Were all your studs Of mother of.pcarl
at the time when you first heard this transac.
ton mentioned between tho parties A.
They were.
O. Do you ever wear your gold stud in the
middle of your bosom A. No, sir; l always
wear it at the top.
O. Do YOU ever wear it at the bottom
Can you swear it was not at the bottom on the
dsv of the transaction referred to? A. dis.
tinctly remember that did not wear it at al
that day. =,
0. Did you wear it that night? A. No,
sir.
o. Can you swear that after you went to
bed you did not wear it? A. L can. :
q. Have you ever been vaccinated "A. L
have.
o. On which arm ? A. The left
.. At the time of tho first mention of this
land to the plaintiff, who were present? A.
Witness speaking with hopeful vivacity, as if
he hoped ihev were now coming to the merits
of the case. The plaintiff, the defendant,
and myself
o. DO you use the Old Dominion cofee-pot
in YOUR house ? A. (Dejectedy.) No, sir.
O. What kind of coffee pot do You use? A.
A common tin one.
@. You are willing to swear it is tin A.
| am.
Q. Has your vile any sisters2 A. She has
two-Anns and Jane.
@. Are they married? A. They are.
O. Are either of them as pretty as your wite2
A. Quickly No, sir.
@. Have you any children? A. Two.
o. Have they had the measles? A. They
@. Has any other person in your house had
the measles? A. | have had them and my
wife has had them. :.
O. How do you know your wite has had
them A. She told me so.
@. Then you did not see her have them? A.
No. sir.
O. We want no hearsay evidence here; how
can you swear that she has had them when you
did not see her have them? A. She told me
so, and believed her.
O. Did she take an oath that she had had
them? A. No, sir.
Q. Then. sir, you are trifing with the court.
Do you understand the obligations Of an oath ?
A. do
@. Beware, then. that you are not com
mitted for perjury Is you gas metre ever
frozen? A. Yes, sir.
Q. What do you uso when tho gas will not
burn. A. Candles.
O. How many to the pound. A. Nine.
q How do vnu know fhnra are nina to the