Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-03-26
A Quaker Detective.

We were five passengere in all two ladies on
the back seat middie-aged gentleman and
Quaker on the middle, andanyself on the one in
front,
| The two ladies might have been mother and
daughter, aunt and niece, gov.rness and charge,
or might have sustained any other Relationship
which made it proper for two ladies to travel to-
gether unattended.
The middle-aged gentleman was sprghtly and
laxative. He soon struck up an acquaintance
with the ladies, toward whom, in his zeal to do,
he rather overdid, the agreeable-bowing, and
smiling, and chattering over his shoulder in
way painfully suggestive, at his time OF life, of
"crick " in the neck. He was evidently gay
Lothario.
The Quaker wore the uniform of his sect, and
confined his speech, as many II parliamentarian
would save his credit by doing, to simple yeas"
and . nays" AS for myself made it an nvar-
liable rule of the road to be merely locker on
| and listener.
Toward evening was aroused from one of
those reveries into which young man, without
being either poet or a lover, will sometimes
fall, by the abrubt query from the talkative gen
tleman
"Are you armed sir2 ~
81 am not" | answered, astonshed, no doubt
vsibly, at the question
a. am sorry to hear it, he replied, /" for be-
fore reaching our stopping place IL will be sew
eral hours in the night and we must pass over a
portion of the road on which more than one rob-
berry is reported to have been committed.
The ladies' turned pale, but the stranger did
his best to reassure them.
"Not that think there is the slightest dan
ger at present." he resumed "only when one is
responsible for the safety of ladies, you know,
such thing as pistol in reach would mater-
ally add to ones confidence"
Your principles, my friend" addressing the
Quaker, " presume, are as much opposed TO
carrying as to using carnal weapons
YEA" was the response.
"Have the villains murdered any of their vic
Tins p the elder lady nervously inquired.
"Or have they contented themselves with
plunderng them p added the younger in tim
orous voice.
"Decidedly the latter" the amiable gentle
man hastened to give assurance; "and as we
are none of us prepared TO offer resistance in
case of attack, nothing worse than robbery can
| befal u.s."
Then, after blaming his thoughtessness in
having unnecessarily introduced a disagreeable
subject the gentleman quite excelled himself In
| efforts to raise the spirits of the company, and
succeeded so well by the time night set in that
all had quite forgotten, only remembered
their fears TO laugh at them.
Our genial companion fairly talked himself
hoarse. Perceiving which, he took from his
pocket a package of newly-invented cough
candy" and, after passing II first TO the ladies,
he helped himself to the balance, and tossed the
paper out of the window.
lie was in the midst of high ecomium on the
new nosirum, more than half the efficacy OF
which, he insisted. depended its being taken
by suction, when a shri whistle was heard, and
almost Immediately the coach stopped, while
two faces, bideously blackened, presented them
selves, one AT each window.
"Sorry to trouble you" said the man on the
right, acknowledging two lady-like screams from
the back seat, d" but business is business, and
ours will soon be over, if things go smoothly.
"Of course, gentleman, you will spare, as far
as may be consistent with your disagreeable
duty, the feelings of these ladies' appealed the
polite passenger, in his blandest manner.
"Oh certainly they shall be first attended
to, aud shall not be required to leave their
places, submit TO a search, unless their con-
duct renders il necessary"
| " And now, ladies, continued the rObber, the
barrel of his pistol cleaning in the light of the
eoach-lamp, " be so good as to pass out your
purses, watches and such other trinkets as may
be accessible without too much trouble.
| The ladies came down handsomely, and were
no further molested
One by one the rest of us were compelled TO
get ont, the middIe-aged gentlemen turn com
ing first lie submitted with a winning grace,
aud was robbed like very Chesterfield.
My own affair, like the sum ! lost, was not
worth mentioning. The Quaker's turn came
next. He quietly handed over his pocket-book
and when asked if he had any other valuables
said, " Nay"
A Quakers word Is good even among thieves !;
so, after hasty "good night" The robber
thrust his pistol 10 his pocket, and, with his
two companions, one of whom had held the reins
of the leaders, was about taking his departure.
Stop - exclaimed the Quaker in tone more
of command than request.
"Slop what for p returned the other In evil
dent surprise.
"For ut least two good reasons" was the re-
ply, emphasized with a couple of derringers
cooked and presented.
"Help I" shouted the robber.
"Stop /" the Quaker again exclaimed.
"And if one of thy sinful companions advances
step to thy relief the spirit will surely move
me to blow thy brains out"
The robber at the opposite window and the
one at the leaders though II a good time to
leave.