The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-03-09
DAELY IOURNAL
WEDNESDAY,. MARCH 0, 1870.
Humorous.

Humorous.
Stay Bindings Apprentice con-
tracts.
The talk ofthe town.-The English
language.
The inebriate's ,gater cure.-IIiquor.
Drums of our beating Conuu-
drums.
The ladies think that the Fisk Nor
rissey hoax was based on the fact that
the former is killing man,
An improper misunderstanding
your neighbours windows.
Spectators in human hair, when
questioned about its value, say that 1t
is up in the morning, and dol0n at
night
A book is like a secret or stolen
goods-generally kept under cover.
Health is unquestionably a fluid.
We Judge from the fact that friend
drinks ours very often. not at his own
expense, either.
A countryman was seen the other
piaht in wall street attempting to pur-
chase stocks. He had been advised
to buy when the market is off,.
Though the recipient of dozens of
SOUP ladies', fish knives, ice cream and
other spoons, our recently married
chum assures us that he does not con-
template opening q restaurant. He
however, is looking out for director.
ship in Safe Deposit Co.
Poor relief.-Being relieved of ones
watch.
Eight kinds of kisses are mentioned
Ia the scriptures: The kiss of Saluta-
ton, Valediction, Reconciliation,
Subsection, Appreciation, Alteration,
Treachery and Affection.
Ii was said of very handsome wo-
man whose feet were immense: She's
very pretty, but she upsets completely
the ordinary system of measurement,
By proving that two feet make yard"
'Lenny, you're a pig" said father
to little FIVE year-Old boy. Now do
you know what a pig is, LennyY"
Yes, sir; pigs hogs little boy"
A clergyman in the country had a
stranger preaching for him one day;
and meeting his beadle, he said to
him, well, Saunders, IhoW did you like
the sermon to-day?" l watna, sir, it
was rather Ger plain and simple for
me-" replied the beadle. II like the
sermons that bejumbles the joodg-
ment, and confounds the sense, cd,
sir, l never saw ane that could come
up to yourself at that"
"Silence in the courtroom there,
thundered a police magistrate, the
other morning; the court has already
committed four prisoners without be-
ing able to hear o word of the testi-
mony."
DO you believe in second love,
Mister McQuade2" DO believe in
second love?- Humph = If a man
buys a pound of sugar, isn't it swate?
Aud when it's gone, don't he want an
other pound, aud isn't that swate too?
Troth, Murphy. | do believe in second
love-"
They may Anonymous writers
may be said to hide themselves be-
meath an ''inky cloak, to use an ex-
preston of Hamlet's.
A strange errand.-Spurgeot has
lust gone to Paris after an attack of
the small pox.
Charley" said his grandmother,
reprOvingly, your portion will be IN
the burning lake at last if you 60 on
telling SO many stories" "Ohl no.
grandma, l couldn't stand it." But
Won will be made to stand it, my boy. "
Oh, we'll, if can stand it, it's all
right"
al Canadian clergyman not long
since, was called upon by an Irish girl,
Who asked how much he charged for
marrying any body. He replied, "A
DO lar and a half" and Biddy depar
ted. A few evenings later, on being
summoned to the door, he was accost-
ed by the same person, with the re
mark that che had come to be married,
Very WE'LL" said the minister, bat
perceiving with establishment that
She was alone, he continued, where
Is he MANI" And don't you find
tho man for dollar and half2"