The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1870-09-01
A HARD-sHKLL SERMON FROM A
HARD-sHELL PARsoN. -

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A 2HARD-sHELL SERMON FROM a
HARD-sHELL PARSoN.
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My hearers, shall draw forth the
horns Of my argument from the sfol-]
lowing hymn Ia 5sals.I
This world is an . feetin' show -s-
10 mans illusion given; aifa
Never aspire whore you can'tset
Orrte the earth you'll fall. gKKI
I agree with the tavern-keeper who
said. when the circus company sloped
without payin' him for grub and grog,
" this world is all fleetin' showss
and / also side with the hungry man
who cried out in the Dustin agony of |
his heart, when he saw cooked pigs
head smoking in The magic lantern,
that it is i" for mans illusion, giyen.'
My friends you wrap your fellin's
r6asid the rotten things Of this world,
even as monkeys do their tails round |
the limbs of old trees. When you
get high up, you find your honey bee
hollcf turns out to be hornets nest,
and when those little winged Belize
bulbs commence Hokin' their Sharp
pointed snouts deep into your carcass,
yOu wriggle about like an eel in Fa
fryin'-pan, your tail gets untwisfed, !,
or the LIMB breaks that you have grab
bed as tight as leather sucker does
brickkat, and you fall cawhallop upon
broken glass bottles which are always
strewn under the pizeh Upas tree of
pleasure Oh, the vanity of desirinI
the slippery paths of the airtll. x on
run after 'em, you pant, you blow,
the perspiration runs down you like
soap-suds in a washing machine, your
body is covered over with the prick
ly heat of anxiety, and your feet with
the soft corns of care and disappoint-
ment. And what are all these suffer-
ings for7 What makes your nose
bleed. and what makes your blood,
boil like hot pitch at a tar gatherins?
Why, you've been running after the
great shoat of mammon. His tail has,
been dipped in Satan's lard kettle,
and when You think yonsve got him
foulAwhen you've poured the. ashes
of your yexatioll on your palms,
when you've dipped your fingers into
the fond glue of experience and wis
dom, so that they'll stick fast and no
mistake, 2 the cussed critter gives a
grhnk like che bnstinH of "a bladder,
and his tail slips thro' your paws like
gooseagrease lightning. s7aa. siii /. 2,
'H0h, my beloved hearersl, How
fHhissyeur situationsin that pattiki
ular time. You see the hog that
you've been running after all your
born days way on ever SO far ahead,
and oyou ever so ditto behind. All
youf precautions have. come to what
hickory wood in the winter-timel wall,
smoke.l II Your trousers are split, your
shirts dirty. and your eyes are stream-
ing like two lye-hoppers on a rainy
day. Your head aches, and youiafeel
the sea-turtIes and canvass backs root,
in into your skull. The fieas of de.
spondency bite you through the day
and bed bugs of conscience, as big al
sheer keep YOU from sieep through
thenight. You're worse fhan man
with his hands tied, lying naked IN
bayou without musketo-bar Gu
of reiaorse springs abonI ten lnillio1
musketoes with comic stockings oi
their legs, and augers e 4, in their mouths
alIouborin' straight through "a ant Ii
through YOUR ibody..aand film, mn ith
holes with cow-iteh and islxunsx,s eo
lo9ne. Your situation Is toe t. n,,ne,. ,af,.
ous TO mention. The molassss,a,s,a. bbaoas e sl,,
head of generosity and good Saeli.
is STAYED IN. and the sweet stra;n q
Kindness and humanity 4 n,ir;no i, wifi n
the tar. Had boos and ddsi dsr,in zen MO
gevs ly;ng abe,,t -, n j s,aveel Il ~; q :
and ;m,,noral;tv Tbe M;ss;ss;rn;.s !
love Ia at low water tbe staan,loat ,ts !
PRAYER and tho broadborn ~ i ..fa;tl
boal,s laf,ep wifi r;e1, earo,s e,, eo,. Il n
conntry above oct ..r,,eIlv s5a;s,lo,a5 !
the lors Of 3esnair ss a,, and both both sin
deem i. The weller. mud IF SIN in, m m
cat.fshes Of hell. which g. are ] horn. !;
the bilin,, spring Of Iintemp5,erra:,nic r:,i q
float around your brarns and r
scfeAcb owls of sorrow sit q boo-vo .,
inen Il, the bei,-roosts of yonr5 heart ,.t,
You're deserted ana flespised-vou,,
NO moro ,,sa ~ tho rvorld .tla, j. =.