Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1870-12-09
MINOR mEMn1oE.

West Virginia does not like its name,
and wants to be called "Appalaehia."
The oil of sunfower seed is now work
ed over into a delicious perfume.
Three tuns Of coal represent the labor
power of a man for his lifetime
What is it that Adam never saw never
possessed, and yet gave 20 each of
his children Parents.
Why is an empty champagne bottle
ike an orphan Because it has lost its
pop"
A young lady of Boston counted
among her wedding presents recently
eleven pie knives.
"Are cats good to eat, mother?" "Of
course they are, my son-good TO eat
mice"
Somebody says that a coquette is a
rose from which each beau pluclzs a leaf
till the thorns are left for the husband.
as moIasses good for a cough ~ in
quired a youth with heavy cold. cit
ought to bet is sold for consumption, %
was the reply.
Flesh colored gloves are the latest
fashion. The advantage is that at
little distance no one notices that you've
got them on.
The intelligent citizens Of Savannah
employ their moments Of elegant leisure
in interviewing the Educated Hog.
Carlyle used to call Louis Napoleon
ian intensified pig but that was
before he escaped from Ham.
Sport-The sporting season has set in
with its usual severity, and is enough to
make every particular hare stand on
end.
| There lives a man in BelIefontaine
who, within three years, has had three
/ wives. His second died only six weeks
ago, and he married his third last week.
A teaspoonful Of common salt dissolv-
/ ed in water and drank each morning for
three successive days, is reported as
sure cure for fever and ague.
'Wi1 you dalze sumding (? said a Ger
man tetotaller to a friend, while stand
ing near a tavern. Il don't care if ]
do, was the reply ''Vell, den, let's dake
a walk
Fanny Fern is now 90, Alice Gary 48,
Harriet Beecher Stowe 50, and Catherine
Beecher 50. Fanny Ferns weight is
nearly 200 pounds.
The difference between a country and
a city greenhorn IS that one would like
to know everything, and the other thinks
he can tell him.
An English Bishop once said: "Om
girls are poorly educated, but our boys
never find it out.
One lives comfortably in Japan on
two cents a day. But then the deuce oi
it is to get the two cents.
When a man and a woman are made
one, the question is Which one T.
Sometimes there is a long struggle be-
tween them before the matter is settled.
Farmers predict a mild winter on ac-
count of the thin corn huszs. Others
predict a severe winter on account Of the
northern lights. when doctors differ,
&c.
Ticket Collector--This your boy,
mum He is too big for half ticket.
Mother-(down on him)-Oh, is her
| Perhaps he is now, mister; but he wasn't
when we started.
i A proud and loving father in Kansas
| City, in setting forth the accomplish
ments of his daughter, said she could
everlastingly "claw ivory and howl and
paw washboard like mule.
Of the II, ,8Iz Chinese in San Fran
cisco, there is not one who can read and
write OF the Irish population of the
city, 6,88s can do neither, nine native
Americans are equally deficient, but
there is not a Frenchman or German
who cannot do both.
SceHe.-Boys playing in the roadway.
/ CZereV1zaH. And so you are building
a mud village, are you; and that's The
church But why haven you made the
parson?" B0G.--"We hadn't dirt
enough Parson continues his ramble.
There is a letter at the Bridgeport
Conn, postofice awaiting an owner,
addressed as follows
"pIease send to the lady who lives In
street near Main st., with black fence
with steps Citing up"
Ida Lewis, the heroine Of Lime Rock,
who was married a few days ago, we
understand, received from MIR. Peabody
the sum Of S., 600 The money was
placed in trust for the benoft Of the
young lady; therefore Ida was not
| dowerless bride.
The New York E0eNiHq- Past says
that "Montaland can smile more sweet
ly than she can sing, but her case Of
manner on the stage enables herto show
off to the best advantage her tiny tea
spoonful Of voice" ."
j The state of the mind Of the western
p youth is illustrated by the following con-
versation who's the pitcher in the
Red Stocking Ball Club r. Why
Brainard. Father--"In the White
Stocking Club Son-"Pinkham. Faith
er-."NVho was the second President or
the United States p SOn-'I don't re-
member" ="
The New York Z5Tbi1s thinks that
the three cardinal points Of any Western
! colony should be: "I. No rum. 2. No
fences. 8, No land spectators; and to
these should be added, as minor incl
dentals, shade trees. parks, schools
churches and the lyceum from the hrst.
1t has always been a mystery TO us
where all the SNlikES came from; but
while visiting in a neighboring city, The
matter was satisfactorily explained BY the
l appearance of a large sign over the door
: Of a factory, with the announcement
5 that this was the Smith Manuiacturins
T Company. F" Watv5R'J ARiegzeaH.
A peripatetic Sunday school talllcr
i ended a long story thus: "And now
! my young friends. the names OF these
two boys were Thomas and Phlander.
Thomas, have told you, was bad
. boy, and went downtown down.
Philander was a good boy, and went up
-up-up. Little children, Phu2nder
stands before you!"
Just as a traveller was writing his name
on a register Of a LeavenWorth hotel a
bedbug sailed and took its way across
the page The man paused and re-
marked. "I've been bled by ST. Joe
aeas, bitten by Kansas City spiders, and
, interviewed bv Fort Scott gray-baclzs.
hut IN be id If I was ever in a place
: 1,ocor. ,,1,erya the bedbups looked over