The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-12-20
How Billy Raised a Muss.

A PHYSICIAN prescribed "country
IA air and sea-bathing for the delicate
Mrs. Blobbs so that the Rev. b. sent his
afiectionate wife and Billy to long Branch.
The reverend gentleman told little Bill
to write to him as soon as they were set
tied there. Truthful Billy sent the fol-
lowing epistle, without bothering his ma
to read it first:
"DEAR DADDY It's awful nice here in
the country, and me and ma are having
such jolly times. l think the incest place
IN the world is watering place, don't you,
daddy? At first felt awful lonesome with
out you, and says to dear ma:
"'When is pa coming from the city ma ?
Never, l hope, Billy, says she, your
fathers such dry old stick, and we are
much better off without him.
"Oh, daddy you wouldn't know ma
now If you hadn't seen her before-she's S
looking SO well and young. She has taken
to wearing such lots of hair and fine things
and our maid Sally, says she doesn't look
older than many gal of seventeen. Mas
got real splended beau too with such
moustaches and whiskels Ma calls him
Charley. l call him brick because he
gives me such heaps of candy. Sally says
he's the beautifulest gentleman she ever
saw.
"The waiter fellows here are bully b oys.
pap, and get no end of stale tarts, pie
and pound cake, besides bottled ale and
tobacco. They are teaching me to play
euchre, too, and think it's real nice game.
Ma has no time to look after me she's so
taken up with dressing, dancing, and dear
Mr.. Charley.
ooh, pa ! 1 want TO see yon awful bad.
but don't come yet it would make ma so
hopping mad. Please write soon and don't
forget to send me plenty of pocket money.
fellow can't do without tim here.
lour a1iectionate son.
Billy"
Billy's letter was accompanied by one
from Mrs. Blobbs, which read thusly :"
MY DEAREST HUSBAND MY health is
a little better, thank the Lord, and | begin
to enjoy the Sabbath like peace of this
place. L miss you very much, and my
thoughts are often with you; but, for the
sake OF your flock, will not ask you ioin
me at present. Dear little Billy and the
Bible are my usual companions, though
when seek it, find good deal of religious
society here. Are you lonely without me,
dear husband? l hope not, for the fresh
invlgolating air here is doing me more good
than medicine and if could remain until
September, believe | might be restored to
my former health and strength. "Give
my fondest love to the dear sisters of our
church, and tell them / remember them
all in my prayers. read your soul-stirrng
sermon in Mondays Inquirer. 1t filled my
heart with peace and comfort.
" With love and many kisses, 1 bid you
adieu. viii write soon again. Our Billy
sends note, which you will receive with
this. Your loving wife,
Lucy BLoDBs"
Mr. Blobbs, in state more easily i'm
agined than described, left for long
Branch Immediately after reading the
above epistle. How Mrs. Blobbs received
her indignant lord and master, we don't
know, but he brought her back to Goth
am. Last Sunday she sat in her old pew
at church, looking very meek and sorrow
lul. MIR. Blobbs, preached very elo-
quent sermon taking for his text the
following.
Who can fud virtuous woman For
her price is far above rubies. ."-Neo
Korh Paper.