The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1870-04-08
s}2istcllanp.


carried some butter to a merchant IN
country village to exchange for goods.
The butter having very beautiful ap-
pcarancc, and the merchant, DESTROYS OF
procuring such for his own use, invited
the boy to bring him all the butter his
mother could spare. II think" said
the boy, "shc can't spare any more, for
she said she would not have spared this
only rat fell into the cream, and she
did not like to use it herself"
INSTRUCTOR ScMNER.-H Highest class
in Repubiicauism, stand up. Give me
the grand result of five of war, half
million of dead, two hundred and flity
thousand MANNED men, twenty-five hun
bred millions of debt.
Class-(all at once, with enthusiasm
A negro United States Senator.
Observation-Disclosures, my children--you
may resume your studies on taxation.
True modcsty is a rare jewel. 1t docs
not attract by its dazzling spIcndor, but
by lis essential beauty and lovelincss. 1t
is as noiseIcss as the Oscillations of the
night dcws, and like them, it refreshes
an purifcs the earth.
Wherever seen it unconsciously chal-
lenges and wins tho admiration of the
pure and good.
4 NIGER Judge in Alabama, when his
first case camo on, and everything was
ready, was told by lawyer that he had
neglected to charge the jury. He rose
up and put on his spcctaclcs, and said,
"Gcmmen oh de jury, | charge You Aalf
a dollar piece, and you must pay it be-
fore the case goes on" That niger will
be in the United States Senate yet
Brick POmeroy.
A little boy in Troy, on returning
from church last Sunday, was asked by
his mother what the text was. After
considerable thinking, the little fellow
replied, II don't hardly remember, but
it was something about hawk between
pigeons" The text was, why halt
between TWO opinions
PoLrrENEss costs nothing and yet it is
a most valuable commodity. 1t is as
useful as it pleasant, any where and
every whcrcx-in the store, in the office,
along the street, on public occasions, in
private circles a: home or among stran-
gers.
AS this paper is intended to be oFna-
mental as we'll as useful, We viii give a
recipe for curing the toothache. Bind a
roasted onion on the pulse at the wrist,
and it will knock the spots out of the
able bodedest toothache in short metre.
There is no extra charge for this.
Two wags were speaking about thc
fancy dresses they intended wearing at 3
forth coming ball. "Oh," said a comic,
81 shall go disguised in liquor"
Don't" was the immediate reply,
every one will recognize you
A raw German policeman, just put on
the force, on being rcbukcd for not an
swcring the whistle call Of comra9c in
trouble, exclaimed, why den he not
pillow his whistle in German ? no I'M
dcrStand English in the dark y
A hardy seaman, who had escaped
one of the great recent shipwrecks up
on our coast, was asked by good lady
how he felt when the waves broke over
him. lie replied, "Wet, ma'am, very
wet"
HERE is the pithicst sermon ever
preached: "Our ingress in life is naked
and bare; our progress through lite is
trouble and care; our egress out of it
we know not where; but, doing well
here, we shall do well there"
The woman who boasts that she does
not know how to cook should DC dcpriv-
ed of food until she does. We venture
TO say she would soon learn-theorcti-
cally if not by practice.
The "small sewing machine" which
some rascal in New York sends to pco-
pie who respond to his advertisement,
by inclosing him 81, is a shoemaker's
Awl, worth about fifteen cents,
"YoU'vE destroyed my peace of mind, y.
said responding lover to truant lass.
at can't do you much harm, John,
for twas an amazing small piece you
had anyway" was the quick reply.
Man may err, and be forgiven; but
poor woman, with all his temptations, but
half his strength is placed beyond the
hope of earthly salvation, if she but once
be tempted into crime.
When an ill-nalured fellow was trying
TO pick quarrel with a peaceable man,
the latter said: 81 never had a fuss
with but one man; he was buried at
-four; it is now half-past three.
TAKE away my first letter. take away