The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1870-02-10
Ny Second wife aud Her Bridal Tour.

bridal tour. / told her she'd better
wait six months or year, and I'd try
to 90 with her but shc said she'd
rather go alone--whcn woman was
travelling man was M oat and out
humbug.
SO | gave her seyenty.f cents, and
told her to go off aud have good ti1ne'
| never begruge money where my
wife's happiness is concerned. My first
wile never could complain OF not go-l
ing anywhere, for I'm dreadful fierce to-
30 off ona good time myself, and always
was. wotldd't pretend to say how
many times | took her out 70 see the
engine squirt, aud there was no end to
the free lectures | let Iicr go to. The
neighbors used TO say, at does beat all
how the Skinners do 20 y
When Sisuor Blitz was III Slunkyille,
with his wonderful Canaries, he gave
my wife complimentary ticket not
ouly sold that ticket for my wife but
gave her halt of the money. / don't
boast Of it, though only mention il
to show how much | thought Of my
wifc's happiness. isTs
| / don't think any man ought TO get
married till he can consider bis wife's
happiness only second TO his own
John Wise, neighbor of mine. did
thusly, and when got married | con-
cludcd I'd do likewise.
But the plan didn't work il the case
Of my second wife No should say
not. broached the subject kindly.
Matilda" | said, II suppose you
are aware that am now your lord and
master =
+" Not much you amt" said she,
Mrs Skinner" Irepiied ..you ara
fearfully demoralized You need reor-
ganizing at once. You are cranky,
And brandished my new sixtytwo
cent umbrella wildly around her.
She took the umbrella away from me,
and locked me up 10 the clothes press.
ain quick to draw an inference, aud
the inference | drew here was that I
was not success as reorganizer Of
female women.
After this | changed my tactics. /
let her have her own way, and the plau
worked to u charm from the very first.
It's the best way Of managing wife
that | know Of OF course this is be.
tween you aud me.
SO when my wife said she was bound
to 80 off on bridal tour anyhow, I
cordially assentcd. aGo, Matilda"
said |, aud stay us long as you want
to, then if you feel as though you would
like to stay little while louger, stay,
my dear, stay" .a
She told me to stop talking, and 20
up stairs aud get her red flannel night
cap, and that bag Of pennyroyaI for
Aunt Abigail
My wife IS very smirt woman.
She was a Baxter, aud tho Baxters are
very smart family indeed. Hermother,
who is going on eighty, can fry more
slapjacks now than half these primped
up city girls, Who rattle on the pianos,
or else walk the streets with their fur.
bellows and ixiugs, pretending TO get
mad IT young chap looks at 'em pretty
hard, but getting mad 10 earnest IL you
don't take any notice Of them at all.
All. girls amt what they used 10 bc
when | was young, aud the fellows are
worse still When wen; courtine for
instance, | never thought ofstayina
till after ten o'clock, aud only went
twice week. Now they 20 seven
nights 10 a week, and cry because there
amt eight. Then they write touching
notes to each other during the day sssS
I
Dear George, do you love me as much
now as you did at quarter past twelve last
night. Say you do, dearest, and it will give
me courage TO 60 down to dinner ndtackl4
them cold beans left over from yesterday. "
Well, well, / suppose they enjoy
themselves, aud it aint for us Old folks.
whose hearts have got little caIlousing
by long wear, 10 interfere. Let them
get together aud court if they like ii.
and | think they do. | was forty seven
when | courtcd my present wifc, but Il
seemed just as nice TO sit on littls
cricket at her feet, aud let her smooth
my hair, as il did thirty years ago.
As | said before, my wifo is very
smart woman; but she couIdn't Be-
inything else, aud be a Baxter. She
used togive lectures ou Womans Rights,
and in one place where she lecturcd.
big college conferred tho title of 4. L.
D. upon her. But she wouldn't iake
il. "No gentlemen" said she, sgite il
to the poor"
She was always just SO charitable.
She gave my boys permission to 20
barefooted all winter, and insisted upon
it SO much in her kind way that they
couldn't refuse.
She fairly dotes op my children, and
I've seen her many time 90 to their
lrowscrs pocket and take out their pen
nes after they'd got to sleep, aud put
thcm in her bureau drawer for fear they
might lose them.
] | started 10 tell you about my wifc's
bridal tour, but the fact ii, never
could find out much about il myself.
believe she had good time. She
rame back improved 10 isealth, aud i
found out, before she'd been ii m
house twenty four hours, that she'd
gained also 10 strength. / don't say
how found it out. simply say /
found it out.
In conclusion, | would say 10 III
young men Marry your second uils
first and keen ouf ~ d..ht f.v II <<a...4 *