The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1870-02-24
LAUGHERANEOUS.

Golden memories-Half eagles.
"A hopeless class-Mend cants.
"A man of mnny parts-A publisher.
"A friend at a p;nch-A snuff-box.
"A wicked "dip''-The Greasin bend.
"A duck of fellow-a quack doctor.
-Estranged lovers live upon cold
meets.
"A good place for darkies-Coloraid- o.
Link boys--the Siames twins.
TO be without money is to be excent-
ric.
An oriental tale-A Chinamen's pig
tail.
"A man "full of promise" "a god
father.
"A bootless MISUNDERSTANDING bare
foot.
"A Sylla- bus-one girl kissing an
other.
A clerical error REV. Mr..
Cookies.
"A serious charge-acan Of nitro-gly
cerine.
The fastest city in the world-Elec-
tri-city.
Sam is a San Francisco sausage max
er.
Not a good bird for pot-pie-Stool
pigeons.
-Something put up for rainy day
an umbrella.
The moaning of the tied "A hus-
bands grumb!ing.
Why is a ballet lady puzzle? Be-
cause she poser.
The black board is called a Colored
Board Of Education.
Short pie crust and conversation are
usually liked best.
Tho Bachelors Toast-Large for
tunes and small waists
The hardest game Louis Napoleon
has yet played Rouge ct Nor.
-Fnsi'-ears raised for conversion
into whiskey.
Rolling Stock--capital invested in
bowling alleys.
The man who staked his reputation
was probably preparing for general sur
vey.
A quad-rangle-A party of compost
tors quarrelling for 'fat copy"
Why are kisses like creation? Be
cause they are made ont of nothing, but
prove to be very good
IF your papa and uncle we're in Atri
ca, which would be nearer England :?
Your uncle, for your pa would be father
away.
An exchange gets off the following
statement of a syllogi m: Wine Is
moctery. and coffee is mochra-rye
therefore coffee is wine.
Somebody has discovered that hen
pecked husband is a shrewed man, but
cannot be shrewd man, but cannot be
shrewd man. He has more e's, but not
much ease.
Il can marry any girl I please, said a
young man, boastingty. Very true,
replied his We egish companion, Tor you
can t please any. ~
The color of a certain clergyman's s
eyes has never been determined When
he prays he shuts his own. and when he
breaches he shuts other peoples.
"A young lady Of sixteen. who had
worn short dresses ali her life, positively
told her mama she would wear them no
longer.
-Punch's "He smole ghastly smile, y
"Many wink he wunk,' have been i'm
itated by minstrel wit, who said, You
sneezed snooze and said [ snoze it. y
When a man is on the point of de-
serting his children, it is natural that he
should pawn his watch because he no
longer expects to watch his spawn?
The New York Evening Post says:
eff any very small boy asks what fruit is
like the site of the United States Naval
Acadmy, tell him an apple is.
Father said lad, 81 have often
read of people being poor but honest.
why don t they sometimes say rich bat
honest ?" Tut, tut, my SON. replied
the father, no body would believe them. ;
"A lady went into dry goods store
in New England town and inquired for
''bleached cloth" Several pieces of
sfeeting were shown to her for in>pec-
ton but failed to suit. "Perhaps, .
said the lady, if | sh iu'd tell you what it
IS for. you would know what to give me.
1t is to be used FOR rep9sing roles" The
man tainted.
SAKE. the Joker and poet, was once
taking trip on steamer, when he fell
in with lively young lady, to whom he
made himself very agreeable. OF course
he made an impression upon the damsel,
who said at parting, Goodbye, Mr. SAKE;
II fear you'll soon be forgetting me.
"Ah, miss" said the inveterate punster,
IF | was not married man already.
you may be sure I'd be for getting you. "
"A gentleman was Gliding his son for
staying out late at night, and said:
''Why, when was of your age, my
father would not allow me to 50 out Of
the house after dark.
Then you had duce of a father, you
had, said the young profiigate
Whereupon the father very rashly vo-
ciferated Il had contounded sight bet
ter one than you have, you young rascal. ="
The New Orleans Picoyune of the
fth has the following local sketch
A lady, escorted by gentleman, was
walking down Canal street, yesterday at
ternoon. when suddenly and unaccounta-
bly, the lady stopped She flushed. treui-
nle1 violently. and then resorted to that
harry female exped ent crying.
"Why, my dear madame, what IS the
ma,ter?'' exclsimed the frightened es-
cort.
''Oh, sir, Ican't tell you
The crowd surged by, looking in amaze
ment at the crying lady and the frighten-
ed gentleman.
why, dear madam, what is the mat
ter ?-Let US move on.
ooh, no, sir. I can't.
The escort evidently felt as did Ixion,
surrounded by the divinities. What was
fellow to do? 80
Wont you tell me 2"