Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1870-10-18
LaG2ach for Hst2fao2.Ssts.


Text for brewer-He bFews Xxx.
High words-Dialogue 10 balloon.
Skylights-The sun, moon and stars.
A western settler-The sun at evening.
Steady work-Walkiug on the tight rope.
The Teetotaller' Paradise-The Temperates
ZNe.
Why have widows the right to firt? Cause
the Bible says the widow mite.
Bury me 10 pomnadour waist. cnt biased Z
was the last request of Vcksbusg girl.
Give me bite of your APPLE s.;d ones
little street boy to another, and ~, show yous
ny sore toe. ~
l;s pnSfioaa says TOP Prussians treated hind
9rehcnd, h,s that treats Sheridan COM
ar, weakness.
.e's the banisers. but where are theE
~ lrs " as the drunken fellow said when he teltE
his way around the bedstead 10 the dark
Ma said Fred, should rather be wild
turkey, and live my life out On the pralrles'
than be tame turkey and be killed every
year.
What is the difference between a man paral-
wed With fear, and leopard's tail2 One Is
rooted to the spot and the other is spotted to
the root.
At Wamego, place in the extreme West,
is shanty which bears the sign: Here $
where you get meal like your mother used to
give you.
Ladies, just now, are anxious about the
trimming of their tall bonnets butt won t dc
to trim them much closer, Or there will be moth
ing left.
A Philadelphia policeman shot a mad dog
and threw his revolver in the river aud tried t.
put the dog in his pocket. He was not bil
excited
A Chicago paper tried to say something or
the Episcopal Diocese, but the compassion
made it read Episcopal Disease" He wa
vaccnated with boot.
Il is said some babies are so small that the.
can creep into quart measure, bat the way il
which some adults can walk into such measure
is astonishing.
The man that will take a newspaper for
length OF time and then send it hack refused
unpaid for, would swallow blind dogs dinner
and then stone the dog for being blind
A little boy in the infant class of Sunday
school was asked by his teacher whether he ha,
learned anything during the past week. 'Oh
We said he What have you learned :? -
Never 10 trump your partner trick, wa
the repi Y.
The members Of church 10 one of the YER
rural towns Of Illinois recently procured SINAI
cottage organ to aid III the vocal services Thi
Wa quite acceptable TO most of the congrega
ton But one good brother was opposed to 1t
On the Sunday evening following its introduc
ton he was called on, usual, 10 close To
-, nth Poi. ba
pied, Call on the mersheen; if it can sing,
can pray Call on the mersheen.
As We have often held was the case with tn
''Zygomatlc arch, . the social scit nee association
that recently met at Rochester proved conclu
sively that the homologies of the synomosa
bone indicates the poserior half Of the zyeo
matte arch" Now will those editors that hav
douoted our statements about it have the man
Illness to come out and make the necessary cor
reclon? If not We may be obliged bust some
body ''synomosal bone" for hun.
A man at Oshkosh, Wis. has invented
parior srindstone that will have an extensive
ran. He places small grind>tone on a parl.e
table, hirches belt to his wife jaw, and Will,
she is scoldng, or visiting, the case may be
he does up the family grinding of knives ant
things. Just as easy as rolling log off A large
grlndstone, run by about one sewing societ,
heavy grinding.
A western editor remarks that he is glad II
receive marriage notices, but requests that they
be sent soon after the ceremony, and before the
divorce is applied for. He has had several NO
tees spoiled in this way. Another Western
editor says that the editor of a rival sheet wa,
skating recently and broke through the ice
He went in up to his ears, but the hole was moi
large enough 10 let them through While he
was waiting for some one o take him out hi,
cars froze, and they have since been amputated
and are used for door mats
The following is given by an exchange as a
specimen of printers technical terms. 1t don
mean. however, as much as it would seem to
the Initiated: Jim, put George Washington
on a galley: and then finish the murder YOU
commenced yesterday Set up the Ruins OF
Herculaneum and distribute the smallpox; YOU
needn't finish that Runaway match Put new
head on General Grant. sponge the ''big fresh
e." lookup the Augusta Fair" slide Ben
Butler into hell, and let that pi alone till afte.
dinner. Put the ''Fa!l Apples to press, and
then go to the devil and put him to work on
Deacon Fogy's article on eternal punishment.