The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-05-26
A Festive Account Of Mule Ride in Florida.

We have had hearty laugh over the follow
ing article of an epistolary nature; written by
New Yorker sojourning in Fernandina, Flori-
da. 1t is decidedly rich:
Well, I'm down here in Florida, percolating
through the sand. This State is heap of sand
all sand-much of it as white as snow. A
very quiet State is Florida. No hustle. No
confusion. Nobody in hurry. Tomorrow is
as good as to-day to do anything, and better.
Time is of no account. The climates glorious.
Just one beautiful day after another till you
fail to appreciate them
The BOYS insisted that I needed relaxation.
NV health required it. had.a pretty fair ar
ticle of health, I thot, enough to last me as
long as lived. But I must accumulate stock
for future use. The South was the place toget
it, and riding wa healthy. The sand is too
deep to ride, except on horseback, so l tho't l
would take ride. | applied to the livery man
fully at me, as though he pitied me. Did I
good riding horses as were ever saddled, but if
/ wanted Crock Me to Sleep Mother" style of
ride, would take mule. I don't consider
myself frst-class judge of mules. had some
vague notions about them supposed they would
do large amount of work with very little feed,
and were immortal I had read of one being
driven over the same route by the same boy tor
eighty-seven years and he was young mule
yet =,
He was meek looking cuss-a perfect "Uriah
Heep" of mule, so far as "Umbleness" was
concerned. At least that was the view Isstook
of him. He was saddled, and mounted.
For mile or two he paced beautifully. L
thought those old monks I had read about knew
what they were doing when they travelled on
mules. | had high respect for their Judg-
ment Just then my mule began to show symp-
toms of what did not know. I found out.
Dropping his head between his legs, his heels
described parabolic curve, or diabolic curve,
or some other internal curve, in the air, and
got off and set on the ground. got over his
head, and did it quick. I'm not SO old but l
can get off an animal of that kind as quick as
boy. Then I looked at the mule to see if hewas
hurt. He didn't appear to be. Then inquir-
ed around to know how was. 1 reported an
abrasion on the left hip, and confusion on the
lower end of my back. Then thought would
pronounce left-handed blessing on that mule,
and on his forefathers and foremothers before
him, and on his children after him. But |
didn't. Iwondered if he would stand fire. IT
had had pistol I would have put the muzzle
to his ear and tried him. Not that was hos
tile toward him, but was afraid somebody
might take ride on him some day and get
hurt. But had no pistol, and so that benevo-
lent and sanguinary idea was frustrated. Then
1 got up and shook the dust off my feet, and
brushed the sand off my trousers, as testimo-
ny against that place. Then l led the mule
carefully home, and stated my case to the livery
man. But when looked that he should offer
to send for doctor or Samaritan, to do me
up in rag, and pour olive oil and champaign
on my bruises, he only laughed. And his man
that he had to help him laid down on bench
and laughed-then he rolled off the bench and
laughed-and stood holding the mule-thenI !
laughed. 1t was ridiculous. But I've learned
a little wisdom. Next time ride on horseback
it will be different kind of beast from bo-
gus iackass-Neso Era.