The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1870-09-06

u. ;
sum way another. Eff We kant du it by fare
menes, why we kan du it anither way, ye
kno," says he, tippin the ould woman sly
wink out'n the korner Of his eye. and
feelin' of his bit of mustach. 'tBut ye know es
how, Mrs Smasher," sez he, sits big JOB, 1t
il, and It's mitey litel argument we've got to
percede with. Es theirs SO little material to
bid with, hai Mt we better be after sendin fur
Karpinter?' - b,
"Karpinter be -I' YIELD out the ould
woman. II wish Id niver seen him, at ALL at
all; nor other fellow ayther, as fur that; and
don't meme to be after wastin eny argument.
It must be sumthin' else; sumthin startlin.
sunthin' to raze the divil and turn the publik
aginst him intirely: Tell any lie about MIN MIN
at least fifty people rede the Kurriei' wher
wun redes The XIX Century, and theyl IL
b;lieve whativer.we sez about him, and niVer
shtop to find out ef Its thru or not. Wen crush
him we'll smash him We'll Kill his bark
we'll turn him out'n his church we'll blacken
his karacter We'll run him outn the town
well-we'll-" and here the ould woman broke
completely down with rage ane sapite, ana anu
kaut her In his arms and held kan o koro-
seen lie undnr the ould kreeter's noze to bring
her tn. and here think, me deer Terry, is
war J. B. X. dun very rong, fur ef he had lett
her gone off thin it wud haN bin sich relate
to her moarnin' trends. But ye kno 1.-THE guide
dye yung."
Well We must kno, me deer cuzzen, that the
upshot uf the hole thing was an editorial next
mornin' in the Ku1Tier, made up Ut ekal parts
of potash-which means lye-assafetida and
birthstone. A bit Nv mixture OF Jew and
Christian. Oh, be my sowl Terry, II was fun
nv, it was. to hear O Jew, and one tu VINO be-
longs to the prastehood-bad luck to nina
quotin' part Of the sarmon on the Mount. Did
ho, M Glya0 nf
was q name, contemplated attack, lereled
shtrait at the he'd and hart of the little edltci
OF The XIX Century. Shure, Ii was tn name
to hurt mach. T. told big lie, which livery
body In touG knos to be false, when 1t sed as
how that Doctor Hix-fur ye must kno Terry,
me deer, that this same little rascal as I'm 3
tellin' ye uf has a big handle to his name, ana
the people all calls him doctor, bad luck to
him-had gone over to the Scott party.
Blood an ounds, Terry, but ye should have
bin here to see the Xitement. Everybody was
tellin' Everybody what iverybc-j knew area
dy Sum was cursin', and sum was DAMN;
and sum was mad. and sum was rnadder; the
hole toun believed what the Ru7Tter SEQ; those
who had red The XIX Century, Tor August,
thrr,e. but they couldn't find ennything that
looked like wllrd for Scott; those that hadn't
red it believed the Krrier ennyhoW. Wen,
this mornln' the little parson, editur, doctor,
ansered the artikel of the Euirier In quiet:
dignif1ed way, hittin' EN- hard noX tho anu
akin EN- sum pelitikel questshuns that's goln
to be pretty hard for EN- to anser, now mino
The Eu7rier and ould Mrs. Smasher hes got
therselyes in bad fix. and vii be after feel
ing the efex uf it fur nanny day; and that's
not awl, Terry, fur here that thare's goin' to
be lawsute for damages agin the ould wo-
man. for givln the little chap bad karacter,
and fur tryin' to smash his buk, and fur other
charges tn numerus tn menshun. don't hno
how much damage they'll be after glvin MIN,
but l think the little doctor, editur:. paEson
Yallers hisself purity high, ef he Is 80 little. So
eff We here of the Eur1ier losin' the kase. and
bein' sold out fur damages, and bein bought
in by the little cuss, and swallowed up in ne
XIX Century. don't be surprised, cause 1t mite
be, ye kno Smashers, ye kno, sumtlmes g1t
smashed tbareselTes.
And now, me deer Terry, I've writ so much
that I have no space left to tel We about the
beautiful mx we've got our poiltiks IN M; mere EN- IN
Kaillnar. Fur the life uf me, kant tell now
to vote at all, at all. Here Gums the black
Radical Republicans, cottonn' up TO the
bloody nagurs-the divll fly away wild the hole
ut EN-, sez latin and slapin wild em to git
thare votes, to put carpet-boSgers and scala
wags into otis, and then lettln the naSur go.
Next Gums the Reformers, doin tne same
travelin round the kountry spachifying and
prazin EN- up to the skize, jlst to git thare
votes SOS til put the whites intu offs. and then
they'll drop EN- tu, like hot pertaties. But
what we ould shtrate out Dlmocrats are tu DO,
is a mistery tn me- Here We are, me and o
mitey site more uf the same old kallinar stock,
what have been Dimocrats ever sence we lett
the ould country, what's niVer Toted iur e.ins ~,
but Dimocrats, and what's never goln I'll Fote
iiIr emmy but Dimocrats, and now we. aint got
any Dimocrats tn vote fur. We kant vote tur
Scott. cause he's Radical, and We kant vote
fur karpinter cause he's Radical uf the wurst
sort, Now what are we tu do? wish ye Wus
here with yer clear and brilliant head-no IN
siuuashuns ment up its color, Terry kno
yes could give US sum advise. SCOTS pad.
Karpinter's Bladder, the Radical platforms
baddest, aud the Reformer's platform Is the
most baddest uf all.
People keep q telin' me that thares only
two parties, and eff don't be alter goin with
one i'm working fur the other. Botheration
take 1t, but kant see the truth In that same
saying at all, at all. Sure didn't we used to
rite In our copy books when we were young
'uns, and livin In deer ould Ireland-God bless
her foriver-somethin' that used to go like
this: "H1ere bad is the best, nd,ght mus: 6e
the choice" Some tells me ''of two evils chnse
the least" "Just So" answer EN-, "but when
on one side Is the diyil, and on the other the
deep sea, which side will ye cotton to ?" and
divil an anser kan they give me. My answer
Is, "lf ye have standin' room, fte EN- both,
and, be jabers, me and the little doctor towld
ye about .abuv, is goin tu do that same. The
times II be after changing sum day, the lane
will be havin crook in it sure, and then me
and the doctor, and all the rest Ut EN- as stand
thrue tn the principals that they fit, bled and
dlde fur, will have nothin til be sorry fur IN the
past. All We kan be after doln now Is tn look
on and see the fite. and watch the fur fy. We
kant take part with ayther party, cause thare
tn much alik. s'As we'll ate the diyil as the
broth he's billed in" seZ I.
And now, me deer cuzzin. must be after
klosin this pistle. which hope may kum SAFE
tn hand; but II yes left Washington before this
gifts thare, and yes shouldn't git this, l hope
yen be after returning 1t tu me by the hrsl
male, wild directions ware tu send 1t, so yes
may git it safe. ~,
chllder send thar luv tu you and awl ths
McGrants.
Yufe affectionately perplexed cuzzin..
TAD O'HARE.
P. S. If yes Guild make it convaynient II
KUN tu this city about election times yes mite
assist us in carryin the. day. wun way OF
another.