davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

II RLCKoN couldn't drive trade
with yol to day, square said u "giu'
ooiue" specimen Of Yankee pcdlcr.
~ he stood at the door Of u merchant
in 81. Louis.
Il reckon yon calculate about right,
for You cantt,' was the sucering
reply
"Wall, ! guess you needn't get huIy
leoit it. Now here's ginooiuc
rllpr-strops--worlh two dollars and
a haf: you may have 'em Tor two
dollars"
II tell you | don't want any Of your
t.np-, - YOU msy ~ well be going
along"
"Wall. now, look here, square, I'll
bet ycu five dollars that # you make
NC an oher tot them 'ero strops, we'll
haac u trade yet "
"Donc. replied the merchant, pla-
clu, the money IN the hands of by
sander. The Yankee deposited Ike
sum.
Now said the merchant. III
.i'e yon 4 pIcIyune tslxpence) for tho
-trup>'
There yorr'u. :" said the Yankee,
Is h. qal"tly ppckcted the stakes.
"Bul, said he after little rcflcc.
ton, aud with gre It apparent honesty.
Il calculate a jokes II joke aud it
yoa don'twan't them strops, I'll trade
uacS."
The merchants c,unteance bright.
cncd.
You are not SO bad chap, after
all, said he. Here are your strops
give me tho money"
There it is said the Yankee, as
he received tue strops aud passed
over the siXpcnse.
"A trade is II trade; and now you
are wide awake, the next time you
ira ic with that ere slxpcosc you'll do
II Little better than to buy raxor-strop..
And away walked the peIdler with
with his strops and his wager, amid
the -honts of the laughing crowd.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
what - woman Thinks.

There is u woman out IN Joliet with
II few emphatic ideas on the TOPICS
which agitate the boSoms of portion
Of her sex, and she talks IN this way
Il just don't tel eve in these new
women notions have raised six
bcys-four OF them vote now, and the
others will soon be old enough. Then
! viii have six votes. Now these good
iOr-uUlhIng women who have fooled
their time away, and Devcr raised
~iUgle boy. come around and want
every woman to vote for herself |
don't believe in such nuncscnsc. |
have rai'cd NY sly boys, and am go-
M TO have every one vote for me --
those women who go ltcturing around
the country usteld of raising BOYS,
have nO business to vote n yway.
Mud when they say that they are jus,
~ good u, | am, AMI have rIght tO
vote for Themselves, If thy have no
boys to do 80 for them. it IL no, true.
IT they are as smart as ! ani. why did
they hot raise some boys Ia vote for
them tell yud 10 not intend TO
be cheated ont OF NY * votes by any
such guoi-lor nothing folks guess
tiit the NO ld would come TO a pretty
pas, in II mighty short time if the
women AL took TO going arou d l,c
turing on wimmin', rights, iustcad Of
raising buNsn
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
-lcuycn bless Won. NY Children y

Heaven bless you, NY children !"
This is all | know about the grcn,
beef contract, that has created 50
much talk in the community. The
clerk to whom bequeothed j, died.
| know nothing further about the con.
tract or any one connected with il
| only know that ifa man lives long
enough. he can trace thing through
the Circumlouutiop Office ut Washing
ton, and find out, after much labor aud
'rou5ie and delay, that which be-
could have fDuni nut OH the first da,
il the business Of The Circunlocuiion
Oifce were a. inpen,ru-ly systcma,izrd
as It would be il it were u great pri-
vatr mercantile institution - Tie Gai-
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
MEHfORIE !.

Many the thoughts they bring
This sunny lock of hair,
This severed lock, and this little ring,
My own love used 10 wear.
They cut this shining curl
From my lost darling's head;
They took this hoop of gold and pearl
From the fingers OF the dead.
Down in the old churchynrd
They laid my maiden sweet
With n marble cross her head to guard,
And rosc.trce at her feet.
But though she's sleeping there,
I'm not of all bercil--
Although she's gone the dear and fair,
Still have something left,
She's gone from my embrace,
Yet treasures three have -
The golden ring, aud the waving tress,
Aud sweet, sweet memory.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

Bought and Sold
y COMMISSION ONLY.

:, NoMMlSSioN ONLY.
WIN army contracts for beef. | NOV
ed upon the Commissioner OF the Pat
ent Office. | said
Your august Excellency. On or
about
Perdition. have you got here with
your incendiary beef contract, ut last
We have nothing to do with beef con-
tracts for the army, my dear sir
80, that is very well-but some
Jo,ly has got to pay for that beet. /,
has got to be paid now, too, or I'll con-
fiscate this old Patent Office, and every
thing 10 it,"
But, my dear sir
alt Cont make any difference, sir
The Patent Office is liable for that
beef, | recon aud liable or not liable
the Patent Office has got to pay fol
it,"
Never mind the details. II ended
in fight. The Pateat Office won.
But found something out to my ad
vantage. | was told that the Treas
ury Department was the proper place
tor me to 20. went there. watt
cd two hours aud halt, and then
was admitted to the First Lord OF The
Treasury. said
Most noble, grave and reverend
signor: Ou or about the 10th day o
October, 1861, John Wilson Mac
ken"
That is sufficient, sir. / hov'
heard OF } ou. Go to the First Audi
Tor of the Treasury"
| did so. lie sent me to the Secout
Auditor. The Second Auditor sen
me to the Third and the Third sen
me to the First Comptroller OF tn
Corn beef Division. This began L
look like business, lie examined HI
books aud all his loose papers, bu
found no minute of the beet contract
| went to the Second Comptroller a
the Coru-beef Division. He examin
cd his books and his loose papersnpu
with no success. | was encouraged
During that week got as tar as th
Sixth Comptroller in that division
the next week l got through tn
Claims Departpent; tho third week
began aud completed the Mlslaid Con
, tracts Department aud got q ioothol
, 10 the Dead Reckoning Departuen
There was only one place lett for 1t nov
, l laid siege to the Commissioners {
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
MIDDLEBURG, SNYDER co PA, MAY l9, 1870


days, and made the best time on rcc-
ord. coming within one OF reaching the
Twelfth Auditor. 10 his will he gave
the contract bll to his uncle, by tho
name Of O-be-joy-fal johnson. |,
was TOO undormiuin, for joyful. Ills
last words were : Weep not Tor me
[ am willing to GO" Aud so he was,
poor soci. Seven people Inherited the
contract after that. But they oil died
So it came into my hands at last. Ii
fell to me through a relative By the
name OF Hubbard Bethlehem Hub
bard. of Indiana. He had a grudse
against me for long time but IN his
last moments he sent for NE, aud for.
gave me everything, and weeping gave
me the beef contract.
This ends the history Of it up "a
the time that | succeeded to the prop.
erty. / will now endeavor to set nIy.
sell straight before the nation in every
thing that concerns my share 10 the
matter. took this bet contract, and
the bill for mileage aud transportation
10 the President Of the United States
| lie said
"Well, sir what eau do for you p
/ [ said
Sire: on or about the 10th day o'
October. 1851, John Wilson Mackeuzie
Of Rotterdam, Chcmang County, New
/ Jersey, deceased, contracted with tn,
General Cover nmcot to iursish to Gen
erai Sherman the sum total Of thirty
barrels of beef
lie stopped me there, aud dismissed
me from his prcsence-kindly but
FIRMLY. The next day called on the
Secretary OF State. lie said
"Well. sis y
| said: Your Royal llilhncss
On or about the 10Th day OF October
1861, John Wilson Mackenzie, OF Rot
tcrdam, Chemuug County, New Jersey
deceased, contracted WITH the Genera
Govorumcnt G to furnish to Gcncra
sherman the sum total Of thirty bar
rels of beef
That will DO, sr--that will do
this Office has nothing to do with con'
tracts for beef"
| was bowed out. thought tn,
matter all over, and finally, the follow
ing day, vs,'cl the Secretary OF the
Navy, who said, Speak quickly, sir
10 not keep me waiting" said
"Your Royal llighncss On o.
about the l0,h day ol October, 1861
John Wilson Mackcoz'c, Of Rotterdam
Chcmung County, New Jersey. de-
ceased, contracted with the Genera
Government To furnish to Genera
Sherman the sum total Of thirty bar
rcIs OF teci--'
Well, it was as far a. could get
lie had not hing to do with beat con
tracts for General Sherman either.
began To think it was cartons kind o
a Government. IL loookcd somewhat
as if they wanted to get out of paying
Tor that beef The following day
went to the Secretary Of the Interior
| said
Your Imperial Iiighncss Ga o'
abou, the 10Th day Of October
THAT is sufficient. sir-l have hear
Of you before. Go-take your inia
nous becf contract out Of this eStab
lisment. Tho Interior Deparrmcr
has nothing whatever TO do with sab
sistence for the army"
went away. Bat was exaspcr
ated now. said | would hann
thv RAIL ROAD BONDS - -
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
SELECT POETRY.
The Old Mans Will.

Old Oliver Smith in his thread bare suit,
Hears the ill.hred urcbins laugh and boot +.
There goes the miser. POOR aud oil,
Starving and crimping TO heap up gold"
rut the old mau thinks, with q quiet smile
'.Let bese idle scotiers wait n while.
Till time, which sifls the wheat from chaH,
May show that The poor have cause to laugh.
The old man goes to the promise sure.
"who feeds the hungry and clothes the poor,
To the very least of them all. shall see
lie hath done IL also unto Me-
The years roll by and the will Is read
Aud blessings descend on the giver's head
For many n farmer of wealth and skill
Owes his start in life to the old mans will
IL hears the orphaned childreu's cry.
Aud the hlushing maidcu's modest sigh.
And II soolhes the poor mans dying bed.
For il gives to hs.siarving children bre vi
And 1t claims lis share OF the perfect bliss
Which crowns the lover ecstaiic kiss.
For II furnishes gold for golden band
Which binds them together in heart and
hand
''God help the widow 80 poor and old"
And lie does from the mser's boarded gold
For His perfect love 10 the old man gave
Both the wish ogivc and the power TO save
Yc sordid slaves to the shining pclf,
Who love the gold for ils own poor self.
Who know that the cash you love so well
Is dragging you dawn 10 the depths OF hcl
If how to leave II you'd like TO krow,
Yet take II with you when you go.
To the bank which seven. fold interest pays
Where no thieves can steal, and no rus
decays,
SO that riches take wings and upward fly.
And the camel goes through the needle
eye
Go cloihc the poor aad the hungry fill.
And follow the text of the Old Mans will
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

To RESTORE tbs life of a tree in-
jared 10y mice, the M,ine Farmer sug
COSTS, To take several small twirgs Of
The tree, cut long enough 10 rssch over
he space where the bark had been
guawed of, aud insert them under the
bark both below aud above tho girdird
place. Insert sufficient numbcr oi
these for the sap to ascend, bind out
side OF them piece of elm bark or exc
an old place Of oilcloth, aai ip shor'
time the wound will entirely heal ovel
and tho tree will continue 10 grow.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

4 GOOD story Is told in an Eastern
paper OF the treatment Of a drunken
hu-blnd by his a,Hiablc spouse. After
rryin, vari,us experiments to cure his
drIuk ness, she at last bcthought her
sell OF another plan of making a re-
formed drunkari' of her husband.
She engaged n waichman. fora stip.
h,ci reward, to cary ibilapdcr'
to the watchhouSe, while yet 10 state
Of ins'nSibiliry. AMI to " .trghien hint
"a iUic' when he recovered.
In consequence To this arrangement, +,
he was wax I'd up about eleven o'clock
at night. and found himself lying on II
pine bench in u strange AMI dim apart
ment. Raising himself up on his ell
how. he looked around, until his eye
rested on man sitting by stove, aud
smoking cigar,
Where am ?" asked Philander.
"ln medical college said the
cigar-smukcr,
What doing ,hcre -
Going To be cm Hp.'
Cm up! how comes that ?"
Why, YOU died yesterday, while
you were drunk, Ond we have brought
your body here to make 'natomy."
Itsa lie: ! amt dead
" No matter Ne bought your car
cass, anyhow, from your wife, who
had q right to sell it, for its all the
good she could ever make out of YOU.
II yon re not dead il is no fault of tho
doctors aud they'll cut you up dead
or diire.'
You will 10 it, eh?" asked the old
,ot.
To be sure We will-nou-imme-
iuteiy,' was the rc-olu'e answer,
Wall, look here, c,n't you let us
haze some,imy 10 drat before you
beyin?'
The last speech satisfied the watch
man tha, the man was hopeless case
aud az his reward was coutingrn
upon his successful treatmeut Of The
patient, he was not little chagrluet
at the result So, with 10 gentle han
ding be tumbled the irreiormable III
ebriate out OF the watch-house.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
~ MlDDLEDURG, IA
J. A. srAHLNECKER, Proprietor.

Having taken charge OF this old aud well
established stand. the proprietor proposes
o devote all his attention 10 the providing
Of his Table and Bar and The accommodn'
ton Of both man aud beast. lie soliciis a
liberal share of The public patronage.
January 10, lS10-iy
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

A LITTLE girl at Elmira got her
eveuing prayer somewhat mixed the
Other evening, She kneeled down and
gave vent to her feelings ~ follows
Now lay me down TO sleep,
Yes my darling daughter.
lpray the Lord my soul 10 keep
But don't 70 near he water.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

On the day following the receipt OF
the news Of tho Richmond disaster. a
sharp thief at Lexington, Ky, while
on his trial, gave word that the court
house was falling, aud, during the con-
fusion. made good bis escape.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

A presumptuous snUb boosted to
Henry Ward Beecher that no could
preach half an hour on any text 10 tho
Bible. "Suppse you try this one"
said the witty clergyman : "And the
ass opened his mouth and spaks."
Tho young mau has not since been
heard from. -,,...
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
RATES OF ADVERTISING

One column one year 10000
One half column. one year. 5000
One fourth column. one year. 1900
One square no linesl one insertion IS
Every additional insertion 80
Professional and Busisess cards Of
not more than FIVE lines. per year. 800
Auditor. Executor. Administrator
aud Assignee Notices $50
Editorial notices per line Is
All advertisements for a shorter pcrioa
than one year are payable nj the time
they are ordered. and " not paid the per.
son ordering them will be held responsible
for the money.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF
TIE GREAT BEEF CONTRACT
by MARK TWAIN.

10 as few words as possible | wish
TO lay before the nation what share,
howsoevcr small, | have had ia this
mattcr-this matter which has so ex
erciscd the public mind, eneendered
80 much ill.ieeliog, and so filled the
newspapers OF both continents with
distorted statements aid ex,ravigint
comments.
The origin of this distressful thing
was this and | assert here that every
fact in the following resume can be
amply proved by the official records
of the General Government.
John Wilson Mackenzie, Of Rotter-
dam, Chemung County. New Jersey,
deceased, contracted with the General
Government, on or before the l0'h
day of October. 1861, to furnish to
General Sherman the sum total OF
thirty barrels Of beef. Very well.
lie started after Sherman with the
beef, but when he got to Washington
Sherman had gone TO Manassas; 50
he took the beef and followed him
there, but arrived too late he followed
him to Nashville, and from Nashville
to Chattauooga to Atlanta--but he
never could overtake him. At Atlanta
he took fresh start and followed him
clear through his march TO the sea
lie arrived too late again by q few
days, but hearing that Sherman was
going on, in the Quaker City excursion
10 the Holy Land, he took shipping
for Beirnt, calcu lating to head oil the
other vessel. When he arrived in Je-
rusalem with his beef, he learned that
sherman had not sailed in the Qua
ker City, but had gone to the Plains
to fight the Indians, lie returned 70
A merica and started for tho Rocky
Mount lbs. Alter eighteen days o'
arduous travel on the z iains, and when
hc had got within four miles OF Sher'
mans headquarters, be was toina'
hawled aud scalped, and the Indians
got the beef. They got oil OF it bu
one barrel. Sherman's army captur'
ed that, aud so, even 10 death. th'
bold navigator partly fulfilled hi
contract. In his will, which he haC
kept like a Journal, he bequeathed til,
contract to his son Bartholomew w
Bartholomew w. made out the follow
ing bill and then died -
The UNITED STATS
IN act pih John Wilson Mackenzie
Of New Jersey, deceased. DIR.
To thirty barrels Of beef for Genera
Sherman, a 800. 5000
To travelling expenses and trans
portation, l4,00'
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
Millinery and Fancy Goods.

Of HATS. DoTNETs, FLOWERS,
RIBBONS, &C., &c.. and am constantly re-
ceiving new goods aud new styles. Please
give me call before purchasing elsewhere
| will positively sell as cheap as any Mill
ner in this or adjoining couuties.
i5' MARY A. HALTEMAN.
Middlebure, April %, 1870 .-3m
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

The largest shoes made for women
in this country 70 to U'ah, and tho
smallest to Havana.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
NREEMONT HOTEL.
IL FREEMONr, SNYDER co, PA.
ENOCH SMITH propriet m

bNVNH NF"fIr TT fF"F''V''''
TLi, new hotel is now prepared tor the
accomm Sdaiion Of guests and will afford
first rate entertainment to persons visiting
Fremont. Every efrcrt will be made To
promote the comfort Of travellers stopping
at this house Choice liquors at the Bar,
and the Table supplied with the best the
market affords. An ample stable in con.
nec,ion with the house. April6'70tf
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
THE p Q 8 T.
r~bpehsd every Thursday Evening by
GROUSE 4 BESrER, Proprietors.
Terms OF Subscription,

Terms of Subscription,
TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM, Payable
within six months, or 81. so II not paid
within the year. Nopsper discontinued
until all arrearsecs are paid unless at
the option Of the publisher.
Subscriptions outside of the county
PByABLE IN ADVANCE.
"a Persons lifting and using papers
addressed 10 others become subscribers,
and are liable for the price Of the paper
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
$4,000
Total,
Reed Pay't.

Ho died then: but he left the con-
tract to Wm. j. Martin, who tried to
collect il, but died before he got through
lie left it 20 Barker j. Allen, aud hs
tried to collect it also, lie did mol
survive. Barker j. Allen left II to
Auson G. Rogers, who attempted u
collect IL. aud got along as tar IS thu
Ninth Auditors Office. when Death
The great Lsvellsr, came all unsummon'
ed, aud iorelosel on him also. h'
| Ieit the bill TO q relative Of his IL
Copuecticut, Vengeance Hopkins b,
name, who lasted four weeks and tw'
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19

Bought and Sold.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1870-05-19
A AMERICAN HOTEL.
"A CENTREvILLE, SNYDER Co., Pi

WILLIAM =. LONG, Proprietor.
This well known hotel. located in the
town OF Ccnirevillc. has been thoroughly
repaired aud reftied. and IL in the beet con.
diiiou To accomm odate the travelling public.
Every effort will be made 10 promote the
comfort Of guests. A share Of public pat.
ronagc is solicited. April6-'70tf
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1870-04-08
sgr..1l;1-ai 59i;inC g.

= large vessel recently sailed from Boston
for Cork, her entire cargo being Canals peas.
a farmer in Maine has a short horn heifyr,
coming three years Old, that girhs seven fee. and
one inca, and weighs ,G2o pounds.
Medina county, Ohio, has nine cheese
factories, each averaging 800 COWS. The larges.
factory ma &c %, 900 pounds Of cheese last year.
Il IS stated that every farm Of 100 acres in
Eastern Kansas, Is unlerllii with l,555,oo0
tons Of coal, or nine times more fuel than if the
surface were covered with heavy timber.
The farmers Of Central and Southern Illinois
have commenced their spring ploving.
Riie plums were picked on the first Of Jauu-
airy, rom an orchard near Milwaukee. Oregon,
being part of the second crop Of 1869.
Oranges are so cheap in California tina; the
crop is hardly worth gathering. The Yell IS
very large, hat the fruit Is OF smaller size
than usual.
4 Connecticut farmer recently killed turkey
that did not lay, and found inside Of her eleven
perfectly formed eggs with perfect shells, and
fall size.
The Bombay Government Gazette reports that
in India there are G,258.O0o acres devoted to
cotton culture, showing an increase Of 80 per
ceat. during the year 1863
It is announced that the abundant rains in
California are rendering sure an abundan; crop. /
The southern portion Of the State VAS afflicted .
with drouth last year. The prospects for the
coming season are ha;teriug.
The cultivation Of broom corn Is attracting
more attention at this time, in the Northwest
than it has done previously. 1t Is claimed by
those who have heretofore engaged in the bdsi-
ness that it is a very profitable crop.
A bee keepers convention was held in Lansing,
the 28d and oath. The manner Of
managing bees in winter was extensively discuss
ID: also, the subject OF ventilation.
The California Farmer ADVISES farmers and
others never to employ unlucky men, as unlucky
IS only another name for lsziness aud incompe-
tency. All such should be provided for in char
ty asylums, and not by industrious business
men. as they generally prove clogs and him
ORANGES
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1870-04-08

The report CT the Bureau 0. Statistics shows
that the imports for eleven months, ending No
vember 50, we're Sl3S, $50, $40 in coin, against
$3.50, 1874 IL 1868. Domestic exports were
Sil2, 1871 ,4Of, mixed values, against S897,5l1,-
1863 in 1865. Exports Of foreign commodities,
S27.oGs JOS, against Sl9, 1922 in lsGS.
Moore's Rural Mar Yorker says: " 1t is
probably not too high an estimate to say that one
thousand tons Of turnip seed sre annuallyimpor;-
el, at 3 cost Of Eve hundred dollars sr more per
ton, and that one dealer Of its acquaintance
imported last year, ninety .ons Of turnip seed
from England