The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1870-05-11
ADvERTIsiNc RATEs.

has eaten his wife and three
daughters, and isprepsring to spit
a fat niece, left in his charge By
her elopiug parents: They dou's
think these transactions strange
in Chicago. -. :. :.
A high-minded young lady IN
Wisconsin has. committed suicide
because her parents had decided
to move to Chicago. Herbraveryt
in preferring athrather than dis
honor, has earned her o meaus
ment at the expense Of admirins
neighbors. -. .,,......
There is to be o female divorce
tournament in Chicago next r,
tember, A prize of diamonds aHd
jewelled revolver is to be given to
be given to: the woman who mar-
ries and gets clear Of the most
husbands, before the date Of the
tournament. 49,
All the. orthodox preachers in
Chicago have resigned their pul
pits. They say they can't persuade
people that there's any hell TO
which a transfer from Chicago
would not. be desirable.
It is expected that tie sexs
Triennial Conference Of the: Epis.
copal Church will reyi &c the creed
SO as to have the passage :fae>
sccnded into he'll" read "deseeHded
into Chicago" -S.... H.
A Chicago Alderman who has
murdered his last three wives, Eas
been acquitted every tiae on a
verdict Of justifable manslaugh&er,
on account of incompatibiHty Of
temper. ..........-...-
A murderer in. Michigan has
been sent to Chicago. The Judge
said his crime was too wicked for
simple hanging. The 9 #retched'
man died Of grief the FIRST night.
Ladies in Chicago use, #ritten'
cardsfor calling Divos ces are 8, fro
quent that before the cards conld
be got home from a printer, the:
name would be wrong,
The people of Chicago go to- bed
every night in their cofns, as
they expect to be murdered before
morning, and want 70. ss% ttihic. eS:
pensc Of laying out. -.
PawnbrolSers' shops in GhiesgO
| receive, on an average, t;@o bushels
each per diem Of wedding rings.
| for which their wearers haveao'
futher use. q, 4, d
Divorces are. so feqnenf isa
Chicago that the different sets Of
children have to be labelled, ihi
order to. distinguish to- whicw
parent they belong.
T The mcanest man in the WORLD
| lives in Chicago. He stole hfs
wife's false teeth, and then got a
divorce on account of herphysfeah
defects" =. 5, <. =, ....-
If Traupman had ti~edin Chfea-
60, he never would have become
famous. They don't take notice
of such peccadilioes ashis here.
Gnawpaunch alley, near the
river, is getting very wicked; IT
ought to be annexed to Chieagt,:
Chicago: ifa husband and *ids
live together, six months; they
celebrate golden wedding:
Mr.. Jones, on - street, AHe
sued for divorce from Mrs.. J.
Better move to Chicago.
There was an honest man in
Chicago last week. But be was
on bis way to the Pacific:
Roger Ransom, the ohahasasa
butcher, kills pigs quicker thSn d
Chicago divorce. ... -.....-....,. .
Two tugs were recently block
AIDED in the Chicago River by
floating corpses.
Sal Tollytill;is the nicanest weS
man in Podurk. She ought To- go
Chicago. F., .~,.-. -. Il.
Try: Sui Psuricassids rat poisen,
7 1t Chicagoes the rodents at forty
rods, NJ, .-.. {. -, ~ ,,.ss..sszs
Chicago judges 1 furnish Divorces
to clubs at, s1.5oa piece:
Chicago bas q, 900 divorces Per