The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1870-11-19
SUBSCRIBERS-F CLAS.
SIFICATION.

Having veteranized in the pub
fishing Of q newspaper, we can en-
dorse the following classification
Of subscribers. as being true to the
life; and whoever it was who pro-
duced these pen pictures, desei YES
to receive the everlasting thanks Of
all who are engaged in the bust
ness:
First comes the
UPRIGHTs.-These are men who
take the newspaper; pay for them,
and read them. Observe the or
der in which these things are done
The pay comes 6rst-the reading
next. These men consider they
can get the worth Of the money in
the bargain. It seems as fair and
just to them that the newspapers
should be paid for as o barrel OF
sugar or new coat. They ne, er
entertain any other opinion. When
the year runs out, or a little be-
fore, they are on hand with the
pay. There is no more difficulty
with them in remembering the
period, than Sunday or the first Of
January. II one Of them wishes
to stop his paper, he either calls or
writes letter by his postmaster,
in due season, like a man. This
class is dear to the heart Of the
editor. Their image is embalmed
in his warm affections. May they
live a Thousand years, and see their
sons sons to the fourth genera
ton.
The second class now in mind
is the
Do WELLS his class is nearly
related to the other--so near, that
it is hard to tell where one begins
and the other ends. These always
pay in advance, and intend to do
SO continually. But memory fails
a little, or some mishap inter venes
and the time runs by-sometimes
o sometimes for quite q PEE
Rod. Put their recollection,
though nodding occasionally, new
er gets sound asleep. 'The prin-
ter6s not paid and forthwith their
will to do well kindles into activi-
ty. Now comes the paying up
Meant to do so before. Don't
mean to let such things pass by.
A publisher can live with such
men. They have a warm place in
his memory-only little back OF
the Uprights. Ifsuch man dies
in arrears, his wife or son remem-
bers that he may not have paid up
for his newspaper, and forthwith
institutes inquiries. They re-
member that part Of the benefit
was theirs, and, estate or no es-
tate, see the printers bill are not
among the deceased's unsettled &C :
counts.
Next come the
EASY DoERs.-These men be-
lieve in newspapers. They have
fully settled it in their own minds
that q newspaper is a good thing.
They take them, too. Sometimes
at the tirst they pay mp for the first
year-at any rate they mean to,
pretty soon. II they have done
SO, they sit down with the COM
forting conviction that their news
paper is now settled for; and this
idea having once got into heads,
refuses obstinately to be dislodg-
ed, but keeps it's hold from year
to year; q truth-now an illusion,
gray and rheumatic with years
The editor, making the elongated
space in the accounts current Of
their dollars, begins to ask il they
are dead or have gone to Califor-
MIA. Now he begins to poke bills
at them. They suddenly start up
80 the reality that they are in ar
rears; and, like men, as they are
at the bottom, pay up. They new
err dispute his bills, they know
books tell better stories than moss
covered memories. If the pub
Usher has faith enough, or has a
long purse, and can live like q
alternating bear, he may survive
this class. But if he is mortal on
ly, woe be to him.
The next class is that of the
Down HILLERs.-Here we begin to
slide over the other side. The
picture suddenly gets sombre. W.
shall dispatch the Down Killers
suddenly. One of these may take
paper because his wife wants one
or the children are Jealous to read
it, or neighbor persuades him
When it begins to come, dismiss
es all thoughts about it further
Ii the editor sends a man directly