davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-12-30

I indicted a plain, but carefully worded epistle
to the publisher, and enclosed my production.
To prove my claim to reward of the highest
literary honors, I give my letter and poem.
Most Magnificent Sir: The great orb of the
literary world is about to be eelpsed, by a new
poetic Iuminary of dazzling brilliarcy, which
is to rush through the heavens of poetry, and
out shine forever the lesser lights, which are
even now beginning to wane. 1t is none other
than twin brother of Apollo, who is about to
claim, triumphantly, the zenith of fame. AS
Ia proof of this, I enclose few of the pearls Of
Thought with which my mind is loaded, until
the burden sometimes becomes uncomfortable,
and poetic tn oughts rush forth faster than my
Ipen can frame the words. am living, sir, in
IA classic realm. Do not demand too many of
me, for shall be sought by every publisher in
the civilized world.
remain Sir, an inspired natural born poet.
WAX.
The following are the touching lines which,
incredible as it may seem, were nevertheless
the product of my poetic mind;
UPSET.
I am thinking, am thinking of thee,
And the COW is still hanging upon the willow
tree;
Ny heart is all busted and twisted in two,
Ny tongue is at yellow as Indigo blue.
never had thought you so faithless would be,
As to go and to leave such poet as ms;
I shall wither and pine like the flower on the
stem,
And go the same way as our old speckled hen.
There, whoever can read that, and suppress
his feelings, has soul of cheese, and is not sus
septibls Of the grand emotions which poet
experiences. The plain practical figures used
he intense grief expressed, the mellow rhyme, i
and the vivid picture portrayed, all give evi-
lercs of the violent surgings which must have
guided the pen the writer. What was myr
and subsequent rage, upon look t
ng over the paper in which it should have f
appeared, to read the following item: Il
"CRAcKED-Some cracked numbskull who'll
S undoubtedly suffering from an alteration
n n n II n
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-12-30

o
lofmind, caused by being jieted by some girl,
whom he accuses of being faithless, but who,
We are inclined to think, was sensible to
high degree, has favored US with rambling
meaningless couplet, accompanied by a high
flown letter, in which he claims to be god of
poetry, and wishes his production published
The whole thing is rare curiosity, and posi-
tive evidence of the insanity of the writer
Would space permit, we would publish the
whole thing, as literary curiosity. By the
way, he should be looked up and taken to some
Asylum for idiots or lunatics, whichever he
proves to be-"
Do you wonder that experienced rage at
such cruelty, and grief that talent like mine
should be treated with such heertless con-
tempt. solemnly avowed that I would make
that Editor humbly ask pardon at my feet,
and pray for even one line from my pen, which
1 would refuse him as cruely as he had treated
me. Hereafter he shoSld read my wide sought
writings in a rivals paper, but he should suffer
worse than the rich man, and be refused the
drop to alleviate his suffering. tried again.
This time would convulse the world in laugh
ter, and make my production famed for its
smoothe easy style and brilianey. So wrote
the following, and submitted it for publication,
to the Editor Of a rival paper:
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-12-30

In this couplet, had attained at the hight
of my pride. That is accurate and magnih-
cent comparisons. always prided myself on
portraying life to perfection, and still preserve
my originality in expression. I was proud of
this, and awaited its publication without
fear. The next morning seized the papers
in high glee, and was about to call in my
friends to share my delight, when down went
Concluded on Fourth Page
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1870-12-30

Jumping in glee,
Like the frog in a tree,
Frisking its tail,
Like a rollicking snail.
Sleeping at night,
Like the owl in its flight,
No care has our kitten,
No more than a nitten.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
Word Puzzles.

There is a word of only FIVE letters,
and if you take away two of them ten
will remain. 1t is OFTEN. If you take
away OF, ten win remain.
There is a word of five letters, and
If you take away two of them six will
remain--sirty. Take away ty, six will
remain.
Take away my first letter, take away
my second letter. take away all NV let.
ters, and l am always the same. 1t is
the mail-carrier.
There is one which, if you change
the place of one of its letters, means
exactly the opposite from which it did
at first. What is the word? 1t is
anited. Place the after the {, and it
becomes united.
What letter has never been used but
twice in America? 1t is a; it is only
twice used in America.
When were there only two yowels?
In the days of Noah. before you and |
were born--in the days of no a, before
Il and were born.
When is it that a blacksmith raises
row in the alphabet? When he makes
a poke , and shove "a poker and a
shovel
Can you spell the fate of all things
with two letters? Thus d l. decay J
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
What to Stamp.

All notes and evidences of debt, five
cents on each 500; if under 500,
five cents; if over 500, Eve cents on
each additional S1OO or part thereof
All receipts for any amount without
limit over $50, two cents; if SEQ or
under, nothing. All deeds and deeds
of trust, fifty cents on each $500 in
value of the property conveyed or
amount secured; when deed of trust
is fully stamped, the note secured
must not be; but they should be en-
dorsed to show the reason why. Mort
gage bonds need not be stamped if
stamps are affixed to the mortgage. All
appraisements, estates or estrays, FIVE
cents on each sheet or piece of paper.
Afidavits of every description are
exempt from stamp duties. Acknowl-
edgments to deeds, &C., are also ex-
empt. Contracts and agreements FIVE
cents, except for rents; when for rent,
fifty cents for each 800 of rent or less,
if over $500; fifty cents for 5000 or
over $500. Any person interested
can afix and cancel stamps.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
Number 18.
~ The Leviston me \ Jorrra'

RE- The Lewiston (Me.) Journal
of February 26 says: "a singular
phenomenon occurred last week, in
the field of John Gould, jr., in Lis
bon. A loud noise was heard in the
vicinity, on the same day the shock
of earthquake was. experienced at
Richmond. People rushed out of
doors and looked around to discover
the cause of the noise, but nothing
unusual was to be seen. Since then
it has been discovered that q large
mass of earth has been lifted from
its place, in Mr.. Gould's field, by
some unknown power--unless the
earthquake may have had something
to do with it. The earth removed is
nearly i'll the form of parallelogram
on the surface 1t is about twelve
feet long and four wide, and is fully
a foot thick, or to the depth OF the
frost. 1t is as regular, and the cor
ners as well defined, as though cut by
a saw and was thrown out, apparent
ly, by some tremendous power exert
ed on all parts alike, as it was depos-
tied right side up, half its width from
the place it formerly occupied. The
ground on one side of the hole is
puffed up about six inches to the ris-
ing land, about a rod distant"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

How CANNIBALs CooK.-Some French
soldiers were taken prisoners by the
cannibals in the South Sea Islands, and
one of them was killed and eaten. His
comrades describe the process: The
Kanax first decapitate the victim-a
matter of no small difficulty, consider
ing the bluntness of their hatchets.
Ten to fifteen blows are necessary.
The body is then hung up to tree by
the feet, and the blood allowed to run
out of it for an hour. Meanwhile a
hole a yard wide is dug in the ground.
The hole is lined with stones, and in
the midst of them a great fire is lit.
When the wood is burned little,
and glows with heat, it is covered over
with more stones. The man is then
cleaned out and divided in pieces about
a foot long, the hands and feet being
thrown away as worthless. The pieces
of the man are placed on the leaves of a
large rose tree peculiar to the tropics,
and the meat is surrounded with cocoa
nuts, bananas, and some other plants
noted for their delicate flavor. The
whole of it is then tied together firmly;
the fire is removed from the pit; the
meat is then placed in among the hot
stones, and thus, carefully covered, is
left to cook for an hour.
Women do not partake of the war
rior's feast. Men alone are permitted
to enjoy so great an honor and so rare
delicacy, which is another instance
of the tyranny of the sex, and demands
the appearance of some South Sea
Stanton OF Anthony to claim equal
rights for the women.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

ANOTHER JAIL observation-disclosures.
Cox and Whitelaw, the former known
as horse thief, and the latter as
counterfeiter, both of whom have
been staying in our Jail, awaiting
trial, concluded, on Wednesday last
that it was too long between term
and term, and In broad day light dur
ing the afternoon of said day, they
quietly took their exit. tits rumored
that somebody turned them out, and
we are not at all disposed to dispure
the statement. 1t is getting to be a
very common thing for men to get
out of an $4,000 90 Jail. Wouldn't
it be good idea to swap door keep
ers occasIonally?-Kana,oha Repa0i-
nan.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

T The Indians have q highly
poetic legend of the origin of the
great canon of the Colorado, through
which Major Powell passed with
such adventures last summer. They
believe that the Great Spirit cut
those awful channels through the
mountains to make q trail to the
happy hunting-grounds, in order
that certain broken hearted chief
might pay visit to his deceased
squaw, whom he loved with unusual
tenderness and fidelity, and after his
return poured the great torrent of
water through the trail to prevent
the Indians from rushing through to
heaven before their time. And when
the Major and his party came float
ing out from the southern end of this
awful abyss, the Indians there took
him first for demon, for no human
being had ever come out of that dark
cavern before.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
A Legal Question Answered.

A day or two ago your Columbus
correspondent, in writing about an ex-
animation of law students, gave the
following question as having been pro-
pounded by one of the examiners:
"a great many years ago there lived
a gentleman named Lazarus, who died
possessed of chattels, real and personal.
After the event, please inform US,
young man, to whom did they go?'
The student replied: "To his ad-
ministrator and heirs"
"Well, then," continued the exami-
ner, Sin four days he earne to life
again; inform us, sir, whose were they
them" which interesting inquiry we
submit to the lawyers.
am not a lawyer, but see no diff
ficulty in the inquiry.
Lazarus died and was buried. AS
soon as he died, his property, if he left
no will, vested IN the legal heir. The
law gives no man the right to die for
four days and come to life again.
Legally Lazarus couldn't rise. ]
have no doubt the Supreme Court
would decide that the Lazarus who
rose was not the Lazarus who died.
He was a new Lazarus. The new
Lazarus would of course know and
feel within himself that he was the old
Lazarus, and go round boring his legal
friends by talking about his wrongs,
but every lawyer would leave as quick
ly as possible, saying in parting: "Its
a mighty hard case, but if your heirs
can prove your death, and that they
came in possession legally under the
statutes, there is no way for Lazarus
to make them disgorge. All you can do
is-you're a young fellow only about
sixty-to hire out as a clerk, try to
save something from your salary so as
to 90 into business again, build up
grand estate, make a will, and tell
your legal heirs to go to the D"
-Ueveland Herald.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
HOTEL.
DU FOUR HOU Sc,
GallipOlis, ohio.

THE undersigned has leased the
DUFOUR HOUSE, formerly occupied
by James E. Richardson. This House is sit
uated at the upper end of the Public Landing
Front Street.
The House has been thoroughly renovated,
and supplied with new Furniture, &C., so
that it is now second t1lnone on the River.
Mr. DUNN, being enc of our old Hotel
keepers, viii give his personal attention to
the business, aud promises his friends, and
the public generally, every accommodation
they can desire. JOHN DUNN,
Proprietor.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
rw There was a meeting held in Pc

@ There was meeting held In Pc
tersburg, Va, the other day, to nomi-
nate a candidate for Judge, and among
those present was one of Lees veterans.
The meeting was large one, and it
was found necessary to make the vo-
ters stand in line to count them. The
line being somewhat irregular, one of
the tellers cried out "right Dress"
whereupon our veteran exclaimed,
'Look here, Mister, if you are going
to start another war you must count
me out. I've had enough of that
sort of thing" and with spring to
the rear, he made double-quick time
away for his home, and thus one vote
was lost.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

E Since the story has been told of
how Judge Breckenridge married a
girl whom he saw jump over a rail
fence with pail on her head, all the
girls in Orange county, New York, are
said to spend their time in watching the
road; and whenever they see carriage
approaching with a man in it, they
seize their pals and go for fence.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
~Tbree geptlemen-Frencb, En-,

EThree gentlemen-French, Eng
lish and Yankee-were in conversation
in the cars. From their tone, the two
former were great blowers. The
Frenchman said: 81 am always spoken
to for his Imperial Majesty Napoleon
First"
The Englishman said; "When 1 go
out they speak to me for Prince
Albert"
But the Yankee said: "The first
man | met came to me and said,
"Great God, is that you?"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

re- The chorus of the popular song
in the London Music Halls run thus:
81 saw Esau kissing Kate,
And, the fact is, we all three saw,
For 1 saw Esau, he saw me,
And she saw I saw Esau."
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

RoBBERY-On last Sunday night, the
Grocery Store of Messrs. Waggener
& Holloway was broken into. The
thieves took a small amount of dilapi-
dated currency that was in the drawer,
and some notes and accounts to the
amount of over 800, besides some to-
bacco and cigars.-Pt. Pleasant Regis
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

E Last night, umbrella in hand,
a stunning youth, awaited his fair
dulcinas' descent from the NJ. E.
Church, and was cruelty sacked in
the presence of an admiring crowd.
The lady replied to his request to see
her home, in the caaste language o.
Sam Bryant, "Shoo Fly"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

~ The Emperor of Russia gets
S25, 900 salary a day; the Sultan,
S18, 900, NapoIean, el4, 4,219; the En-
peror of Austria $4,000; the King
of Prussia SO, 200; Victor Emsnnel:
6,S40; Victoria, So, ,270; Leopold o.
Belgium, e1,643; and FreslusA'
Grant, s68, SO.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

E The st. Johns Masonic Lodge
of Glasgow, Scotland, lately celebrated
its eight hundred and twelfth ami
versary. 1t was founded by King
Malcolm, FIVE hundred and sixty-one
years before the landing of the Pill
grims at Plymouth.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

A writer from Chihuahua,
Mexico, says he attended q dance
where he saw a sign over the door
which said, ''No gentleman admitted
without pants on" The Mexicsns
are very proud race.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

F The Hartford Courant tanta-
Lies its readers with this atrocity:
"Have you heard of the man who got
shot?" SCOT shot1 No, how did he
get shot?" ''He bought 'em."
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

SENTlMENTAL.-"Ia am indeed very
much afraid oflightning," murmered
a pretty young girl, during a storm
"And well you may be-" sighed the
despairing lover, ''for your heart is
made of steel" !"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
4ALLIPoLIs, OHIO, MARCH II, 1870
From The Overland Monthly.
JIM"

Il CALIFORNIA MINER AND HIS LOST cHuM,
Say therel P'raps
Some on you chaps
Might know Jim Wild
Well-no offence;
Thar amt no sense
In gettin' riled?
Jim was my chum
Up on the Bari
That's why come
Down from up var,
Lookin' for Jim
Thank We, sir! You
Amt of that crew
Blest if you arei
Moneyf-not much;
That amt my kind;
amt no such
Rum?-I don't mind,
Seein' it's you.
Well, this yer jim,
Did you know hiini-
jess bout your size;
Same kind of eyes =
Well, that is strange;
Why, it's two year
Since he came here,
Sick, for change.
Well, here's to us,
Eh?
The h you sayi
Dead:-
That little cussf
What makes you star
You over thar!
Can't . man drop
5 glass in yer shop
But you must rar'T
1t wouldn't take
D much to break
You and your bar.
Dead?
Po0r-little-Jimi
Why thar was me,
Jones and Bob Lee,
Harry and Ben
No-account men:
Then to take him!
Well, thar-Good-b by
No more, sir-I-
Ehi
What's that you sayf-
Why. dern it!-sho!-
No! Yesl ByJol
Sold!
Sold! Why, you limb,
You ornery,
Dern'd old
Long-legged Jim -
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17

s9- Representative Dewes made a
center shot in his speech at Nashaw,
N. H., when he said: Gen. Grant is
the head of party thank God that
can criticise itself; a party that can
probe, not cover its sores; that can
grow healthy and strong by self pro
bing. What has it done this last week,
but take one of its own members,
found to be corrupt, and drive him by
unanimous vote from the halls of
Congress? Did you ever find the
Democratic party in pursuit of any
corruption within its own ranks, ex-
cept to fatten on it? Did you ever
find them hunting up those who lived
upon the plunder of the public treas
ury within their own ranks and bring
ing them to condign punishment? l
am proud TO belong to aparty so con-
scious of the rectitude of its inten-
tions and the strength of its position
that it can bear to have the plain truth
told it by its own friends.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1870-03-17
Manhood: How Lost, How
Restored.


DIR. CULVERWELLS CELEBRATED ESSAY
on the radical cure without medicine) of Sperm
atorrhea, or Seminal Weakness, Involuntary
Seminal Losses, Impotency, Mental and Physical
IRcapacity, Impediments to Marriage, etc; also,
Consumption, Epilepsy, and Fits, induced by
self-indulgence or sexual extravaganza.
Price. in a sealed envelope, only cents
The celebrated author, in this admirable essay,
clearly demonstrates from thirty years success
full practice, that the alarming consequences of
self-abuse may be radically cured without the
dangerous use of internal medicine or the appli-
cation Of the knife; pointing out mode of cure
at once simple certain, and efectual, by means
of which every sufferer, no matter what his con-
dition may be, may cure himself cheaply, pri-
vately, and radically.
This Lecture should be in the hands of every
youth and every man in the land.
Sent, under seal, in q plain envelope, to any
address, postpaid on receipt of six cents, or two
post stamps. Also, DIR. CulyerwelPs Marriage
Guide,' price 25 cents. Address the Publishers,
CHAS J. G. KLINE d co.
l27 Bowery, New ork, Post Office Box 1856.
Nov. II, 1869.
New-York tribune., 1870-04-20
OBITUARY..
THE DUCHESS OF BERRY.

THE DUCHESS OF BERRI.
The Duchess of Berry, who died within the
past few days the advanced age Of 72 Of the
most remarkable individuals In recent events Of French
history She the daughter Of Francisco L. King Of
Naples and in married TO the Duke OF Berry the
heir presumptve to the French throne The union prom
ised to be happy one terminated by the death
Of the Duke, who mortaIy stabbed while leading
the her carriage the door of the opera The
assassin was fanatical BOnapartis and avowed that
he wished destroy the Bourbon dynasty I'm the
of the only member who could perpetuate the In
this he disappointed, somo months after the
Duchess was delivered Of son. who was bap-
tized with great ceremony, and was regarded as
destined TO be the future King OF France During the
revolution Of July she had resolved to 60 TO the head
quarters the insurgents and present the claims OF her
SON. The old King prevented this step iby placing her
under arrest and confning her to her own apartments
The Revolution riumphed, and she followed the Bour-
hon family into exile. From the moment OF leaving
France resolved to return and attempt all means
OF restoring her son to the throne This lpeed her 10
cause a rising in La Vendee, during which she became
the heroine OF many adventurous scenes Driven from
place place by the columns Of troops on her footsteps
city OF Nantes, which she entered country
woman, barefooted and carrying q basket OF
eggs and vegetables. A safe asylum had been
prepared for her In that city; but she was betrayed
by Deutz who professed great devotion TO her In
terests M Theirs and the other members OF the Cabi
net had stipulated to give h him s Is sPPosea o ep % He9
imprisonment rise to great comm0ton IN france,
which intensified by the admission that she had con-
Pal Italian noblemen. Upon her release she left
France and from that time she lived retired from the
political arena. She resided at intervals at venice,
where she owned the beautiful Vendramin palace and
in her prince castle Of Brunsee in Syra concourse
of friends visited her constantly and showed that she
still popular among many OF the French people.
Her Count ChambOrd the head OF the eldest branch
OF the Bourbon line, and is regarded by his followers as
the legitimate inhcritor OF the French throne
New-York tribune., 1870-04-20
ARCHERY IN BROOKLYN.

At GreenpOint, yesterday morning, IL young
women competed at archery for gold medal valued at
sO presented by the members Of the Christian Associa
ton Of the Eastern District Of Brooklyn. At the con
testants appeared the ground attended by their
corts, who Immediately prepared the ground. In the
mean time the ladies retired to tented inclosure To
paTe their toilets The target 10 inches In diamcter
painted white, with black and red stripes painted al
Tie center stake three feet high, To- which The target
was affixed ws driven into the sod The ladies nred at
J.tauce of 80 feet When the trial began, crowd OF
rnans appearrd the ground, but were driven on W
thc police Ia attendance Aentwo contests Miss Jennie
ooh wa declared the victor, having shot an arrow TO
within ii Inches Of the buseye. The medal bears on
The reverse the following inscription:
f Brood n D. superiority and skill with Bow and AHo~
rnoahn u. April - lB1L .-.,.- -, -
ON the r..isr aide In cnprnved q representation OF q
youg woman with "a bow and arrow Ia hau'i, beneath
which are the numerals 1870,