Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1870-07-16

Aeeting held Nay 25h, 1870
CANTo FIRsT.
Old Rip Van Winkle had grandson, Rip,
OF the paternal block genuine chip;
A lazy, sleapy, curious kind of chap;
He like his grandsire took mighty nap,
Whereof the story 1 propose to tell
In two brief cantos, If you listen well.
The times were hard when Rip to manhood
grew
They always will be when there's work TO do ;
He tried at farming-found it rather slow
And then to teaching-what he didn't know
Then took TO hanging round the tavern bars,
To frequent toddies and lonP-nine cigars,
Till Dame Van Winkle ont of patience, vexed
With preaching homilies, having for their text
A mop, broomstick-aught that avail
To point moral or adOrn tale,
Excaimed-"1 have it | Now then, Mr.. "!
He's good for something-make him an NJ. d. y
The die was cast the youngster was content ;
They packed his shirts and stockings, and he
went.
How hard he studied It were hard to tell
He drowsed through Wistar, nodded over Bell,
Slept sound with Cooper, snored aloud on
Good
Heard heaps of fiectures-doubtless understood
A constant listener, tor he did not fail
To carve his name on every bench and rail.
Months grew to years at last he counted three
And Rip Van Winkle found himself NJ. D.
Illustrious title in gilded frame
He set the sheepskin with his Latin name,
Ripum Van Winktum. guem-we ScimuS--know
IdOneum eSSe-to do so and so,
He hired an office soon its walls displayed
His new diploma and stock in trade,
A mighty arsenal to subdue disease
whprpfnrp | thncp
Lancets and bougies, great and little squirt,
Rhubarb and SIENNA, Snakeroot, Thoroughwort
Ant Tart, Vim Colch Pill Choche ard Black
Drop,
Tinctupes of Opium Genital, Henbane, Hop,
Pulv. Ippcacuanh9, which for lack
OF breath to utter men called pecac,
Camphor and Kino, Turpenune, Tolu,
Cubebs, "Copeevey," Vitriol--white and blue
Fennal and Flaxseed, Slippery Elm and Squill
And roots of Sassatras and "Sussaf' 'rill,''
Brandy for colics-Pinkroot, death on worms
Valerian, camer of hysteric squirms,
Musk, Assaf9tida, the resinous gum
Named from its odor-well, 1t does smell some
Jalap that works not wisely, but too WELL
Ten pounds of bark and six of Calomel.
For outward grefs he had an ample store,
Some twenty jars and gallipots, or more:
Cerdtun Simpler-housewive oft compile
The same at home, and call it "wax and lie !"
Unguentum RHsinOsum-change its name,
The "drawing salve" of many an ancient dame
Argenti NitrGs also, Spanish flies
Whose virtue makes the water bladder rise
(Some say that spread upon topers skin
They draw no water, only rum or gin)-
Leeches, sweet vermin don't they charm The
sick :?
And sticking plaster-how it hates to stick
Emplast,um Ferri-ditto-PicisP Pitch
Washes and Powders, Birthstone for the-which
io phOcpn
Since Hahnemann's goose quill scfstch'd thee
into fame.
Proved thee the.sour of every nameless i'll,
Whose sole specific is moonshine pill,
Till saucy science, with quiet grin,
Held up the Acarus crawling ON pinP
Mountains haye labored and have brought
forth mice,
The Dutchman's theory Matched brood Of
twice
I've well nigh said them-words uniting quite
For these fair precincts and for ears polite,
The surest foot may chance at last to slip,
And so at length il proved with Doctor Rip.
One full-siZed bottle stood upon the shelf
Which held the medicine he took himself;
Whate'er the reason it must be confessed
He filed that bottle oftener than the rest
What drug il held don't pretend to know
The gilded label said elixir Pro"
One day the doctor found the bottle full,
And, being thirsty, took vigorous pull,
Put back the elixir where twas always found
And had old Dobbin saddled and brought round
You know those oldtime rheubai b-coloret
nags
That carried doctors and their saddle bags
Sagacious beasts! they stopped at every place
Where blinds were shut-knew every patients
case
Looked up and thought-the baby's in fit
That won't last long-hell soon be througl
with it,
But shook their heads before the knockeret
door
Where some old lady told the story DER
Whose endless stream of tribulation flows
For gastric grefs and peristalic woes
What Jack olantern led him from his way.
And where it led him it were hard To sayi
Enough, that wandering many mile
Through paths the mountain sheep trod singh
file,
O'crcome by feelings su ch as patients know
Who dose too freely with elixir Pro-"
He -dismOunted slightly in heap.
And lay, promiscuous, Tapped in balmy sleep.
Night followed night, and day succeeded day
But snoring still the slumbering Doctor lay.
Poor Dobbia. starving, thought upon his stall
| And struggled hOmeward, saddle bags and all
| The village people hunted all around,
But Rip was missing-never could he found.
"Drownded," they guessed; for more than hal
year
The pouts and eels did taste uncommon queer
Some said of aPple-brandy--others some
Found a strong favor of New England rum.
Why can't fellow hear the fine things salt
About fellow when a fellows deadp
The best of doctors-sO the press declared
A public blessing while his life was spared,
True 10 his country, bounteous TO the poor,
In all things temperate, sober, just and pure /;
The best of husbands echoed Mrs. Van,
And set her cap TO catch another man.
SO ends this Canto-ifits quantum sut.,
Wen just stop here and say we've had enough
And leave poor Rip to sleep for thirty years
| grind the organ IL you lend your ears
To hear my second Canto, after that,
Well send around the monkey with the hat
CANTo SECOND
So thirty years had past-but not word
In all that time of Rip was ever heard;
The world wagged ont never does go back
The widow Van was now the widow Mac
France was an empire--Andrew j. was dead,
| And Abraham L. was reigning in his stead,