Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1870-06-16
Wit and Wisdom.
"A stern necessity-a rudder.
Terrier incognita-sausages.

Terrier ncognita-sausages.
Country seat-milking stool
Idle men are dead all their lives.
"A little method is worth good deal
Of memory.
What can you not name without
breaking it !? Silence.
When is boat like pile of snow?
When it is drift.
DO nothing to-day that thou wilt re-
pent of tomorrow.
-Grocers should remember that honest
tea is the best policy.
If man blows his own trumpet can
his opinions be sound I?
Why is mosquito like a railroad
Because it fastens on the sleepers.
When is a blow from lady welcome?
When she strikes you agreeably.
Truth withheld is sometimes a worse
deception than direct mis-statement.
When the good man dies, the tears
are shed which he in life prevented from
flowing.
To cure deafness-Tell man you've
cone to pay him money. 1t beats acous-
tic oil all hollow.
An Irish lover remarked that it is a
great comfort to be alone, especially
when yer swateheart is wild ye."
AS Adolphus said, when Augustus
presented him with Observation-Disclosures
proof of affection 4"
The Boston Courier is candid enough
to confess that the great organ of Boston
is the organ of self-esteem.
Josh Billings says he never will pat
ronize lottery so long as he can find
any one else to rob him at reasonable
wages.
"A fond wife threw a bottle of hair
remover at her husbands head, at which
he exclaimed: 1--WE must part-the dyeis
cast"
The story of man who had a nose
so large that he couldn't blow it without
the use of gunpowder, sis said to be
hoax.
The perfection of wisdom and the
end of true philosophy is to proportion
cur wants TO our possessions, our ambi-
tons to our capacities.
Mos Doe" being rather an awkward
degree, Fiddle ID. d." is recommended by
the Musical World as the proper thing for
musicians.
1t is not until the flower falls off that
The fruit begins to ripen. So in life it is
when romance is past that the practical
usefulness begins.
Mrs. Chitterby says she knows all
about the spots on The son, for her little
Charley has just been yaccinated, and is
doing beautifully.
Men are frequently like fea-the real
strength and goodness is not properly
drawn out of them until they have been
short time in hot water.
Nature makes every gift a benefit by
causing us to want it. She delays, that
we may desire her: she hastens, that we
may not weary of her.
-"Why do you call me Birdie, my
dear {" inquired wife of her husband.
Because" was the answer, "you are al
ways associated in my mind with bill"
Deal gently with those who stray.
Draw back by love and persuasion. A
kiss is worth a thousand kicks. A kind
word is more valuable to the lost than a
mine of gold.
Value no man for his opinion, but
esteem him according as his life CORES
ponds with the rules of piety and justice
A mans action, not his conceptions, rem
der him valuable.
Not having heard from the debating
societies in relation to the conundrum,
"Why do hens always lay eggs in the
daytime ?" a contemporary answers, "be-
cause at night they are roosters."
Every man has in his own life follies
enough-in his own mind troubles enough,
in the performance of his duties defcien-
about the affairs of others.
Hove, Howe" said Sumner, leaning
over to Senator Howe, after the latter had
voted contra-Sumner-wise on bill,
"Howe, you have voted mo-" "Well,"
said Howe, 81 thought l had"
"A Chinese maxim says: "We require
four things of womsn-that virtue dwell
in her heart; that modesty play on her
brow; that sweetness flow from her lips
that industry occupy her hand"
why" asked governess of her lit
tie charge, ''do we pray God TO give Us
our daily bread Why don't We ask for
four days, or five days, or a week p I'VE
want it fresh," replied the ingeninous
child.
The heart is the workshop in which
are forged secret ISLANDERS, and all evil
., -eaking. The mouth is only the ouier
sbon ~ salesroom, where all the goods
That ORC made within are sold. The
toneue il the .1alesman.
-"what shall DOR exclaimed SUI SUI
per-fastidious exquisite, nc 30 -,
elegant apartment in fine L. -, ~ =
is to be done? / have scented -
la violet, and my laundress has 81
my shirts la rose"
AN able man will arrange his inter
ests and conduct each in its proper order.
Our greediness often hurts US in making US
prosecute too many things at once by
earnestly desiring the lees considerable,
we lose the more important.
Fond mother with son Of very open
countenance-"H He's a pretty good boy,
but he don't take to his letters"
Squire" Well, he oughter, for bis
mouth is like the slit of post Office box
-Punehinelo
AT church fair in Kansas City,
set of bedroom furniture was voted to
young lady, with the understanding that
if she was not married in year, the fur
niture should be returned to the church.
She is now on the war path armed with a
bedstead.
"A wife in Bloomington, Ill, during
the trial of her first divorce case, inter
rupted her counsePs eloquent plea for pro-
vision for her child with the remark, adj
dressed to the court, that it was not pro-
vision that she wanted, but she would
take whatever the court in its wisdom
saw fit to allow her in money, be that
much or little.
The description contained in the fol-
1oUinp would apply TO "a great manx