Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1870-06-13
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PEPPER PODS.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

q E y afe laHaa e e 4t+
If yu hev got spirited and noble boy, &
appeal tew his generosity; if yu hav gots
heavy and sullen one, appeal tew his back.
| A CRATE menny ov our people go abroad
| tew improve their minds who hadn't got
emmy minds when they war at home
knowledge, like charity, shud begin at
home, then spred s1a - - Y 's9>'s eosssa
| Affiikshuns are the compliments that
heaven pays tew the virtewous.
Noboddy but a phool will spend hiz time
trieing tew convince a phooL
Time liz like money, the less we hav ov
it tew spare the further we make it go.
The tongue IL really a very fast men,
Der ov the body politick; he duz all the
talking and two-thirds ov the thinking.
Thare is menny person who kan set a
mouse-trap tew perfeckshun, but, not sat-
isfied with sich small game, undertake tew
trap for bears. and git ketched by the bears.
Moral-studdy. yure genius, and stick tew
mice. - ees7 IS s5ss
Let him go, mi son." sed an ancient
father to hiz boy, who had caught q yung
| rabbit, "and when he gifts bigger ketch
him agin." The boy did as he wuz told,
and haz been lookin for that RABBIT ever
since. saa gsesxz+ ~ syssa1gte fss. 9Ysaass
| The world owes all its energys and re-
finement tew luxurys--diggin roots for
breakfast and going naked for clothes, il
the virtewous innocence of lazy savage.
| Thare il lots ov folks who eat well, and
drink well, and sleep well, and yet are sick
all the tinne-these are the folks who al
wuz enjoy poor health, FgA
/ A person with a little smattering ov
learning, IL good deal like hens egg
that haz been sot on for short time,
aud then deserted by the hen-it is spite
for Matching out ennything. M
"People ov good sensen are those whose
opinyuns agree with ours.
Thare IL CRATE deal of magnificent
poverty in our big citys-people who eat
slam soup out oy a tin basin with gold
spoon. tst
The place whar poverty virtew and luv
meet and worship together, iz the most
sakred spot in this universe. t
Experience don't make man so bold al
it duz so careful. eos fa
Pride never forgets itself, never haz q
playspel or frolik it IL stiff from morn
ing till night, from topt to bottom, like
sled stake.
Thare amt but very little ginowine good
sense in this world emmy how, and what
little thare IL amt in market-it is held for
dividend.
Those who have made thare minds
tew lead life of enjoyment will find the
following recipee crate help tew them:
ITO one ounce ov plezure add pound ov
repentance"
Adversely il poultess which reduces
our vanity and strengthens our virtew-
even a boy never feels half so good az
when he haz been spanked and sot away
to cool
Pedantry IL the scienc ov investing what
little yu know in one kind ov perfumery,
and insisting upon sticking that under
every mans knoze whom yu meet.
Lieing is like trieing tew hide in q fog,
if yu move about yure in danger Nv bump
ing yure he'd agin the truth, and as soon
az the fog blows oph yu are gone emmy
how.
Marrying an angel il the poetry of mar
riage, but living with her liz the proze,
and this iz all well enuff ii the taste ov
the poetry hain't spite our relish for the
proze.
The man who lives on hope must pick
the bones ov disappointment, as4
The devil IL sed to be the father ov lies.
If this IL so, he haz got large family,
and CRATE menny promising children
amung them.
Life liz like mug ov beer, froth at the
top, OIL IN the mlddle, ana settings at the
bottom. -aasnrH
We should liv in this life az tho we war
walking on glaze ice, liable to fall at emmy
moment, and tew be laffed at bi the
bystanders. '@f .
Men, if they amt too lazy liv sumtimes
till they are 80, and destroy the time q
good deal az follows: the s.ss s so 80 years they
spend throwing stuns at mark; the sec
ond 80 they spend examining the mark tew
see WHARF the stuns hit, and the remainder
IL divided in cussing the stun-throwing
Dizziness and nussin the rumatizz. -
This setting down and folding our arms
and waiting tor something to turn up, il
just about az rich a Specialization az going
out into 400 acre lot, setting down on a
sharp stone, with a pail between our knees
and waiting for COW to back up and be
MIXED. s..4. .n 1.s.sa...tsib Z