Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-07-06
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
A Brfer Discourse Upon n Deadly
Enemy of the Boys.

Never put off till tomorrow what you
can do day after tomorrow just as well.
-Benonin Franklin.] / 35ti ~ i4il
This party was one of those persons
whom they call philosophers. He was
twins, being born simultaneously in two
different houses in the city of Boston.
These houses remain standing unto this
day, and have signs upon them worded
in accordance with the facts. The signs
are considered well enough to have,
though not necessary, because the in
habitants point out two birth-places to
the stranger anyhow, and sometimes as
often as several times in the same day.
The subject of this memoir was OF VI
cious disposition, and early prostituted
his talents to the invention of maxims
and aphorisms calculated to inhict suf-
fering upon the rising generation of all
subsequent ages. His simplest acts also
were contrived with view to their being
held up for the emulation of boys for
ever--boys who might otherwise have
been happy. 1t was in this spirit that
he became the son of a soap boiler; and
probably for no other reason than that
the efforts of all future boys who tried
to be anything might be looked upon with
suspicion unless they were the sons OF
soap boilers. With maleyolencewhich
is without parallel in history, he would
work all day, and then sit up nights and
let on to be studying algebra by the light
of a smoldering FIRE, SO that all other
boys might have to do that. also, or else
have Benjamin Franklin thrown up to
them. Not satisfied with these proceed
ings. he had fashion Of living wholly
on bread and water, and studying astron-
omy at meal time-a thing which has
brought aflliction to millions OF boys
since, whose fathers had read Franklin's
pernicious biography.
His maxims were full OF anlmoslty
toward boys. Nowadays boy cannot
follow out a single natural instinct with
out tumbling over some of those ever
lasting aphorisms, and hearing from
Franklin on the spot. If he buys two
cents worth of peanuts, his father says,
Remember what Franklin said, my son:
a groat day is penny year; and
the comfort is all gone out OF those pea
nuts. If he wants to spin his top when
he is done work, his father quotes: Pro
crastination is the thief of time. If he
does virtuous action he never gets any
thing for it. because "Virtue is its own
reward" And that boy is bounded to
death. and deprived of his natural rest,
because Franklin said once, in one of
his inspired flights of malignity;
"Early TO bed, and early to rise.
kao bU
as if IL were any object TO a boy to be
healthy, wealthy and wise on such terms.
The sorrow that maxim has cost me
through my parents experimenting on
me with it, tongue cannot tell. The le-
gitimate result is my present state OF
general debility, indigence and mental
alteration. My parents used to have
me up before nine o'clock in the morn
ing, sometimes, when was a boy. Ii
they had let me take my natural rest,
where would / have been now? Keep
ing store, no doubt, and respected by all.
And what an adroit old adventurer the
subject of this memoir wasl In order to
get a chance to fly his kite on Sunday, he
used TO hang key on the string and let
on to be fishing for lightning. And a
quileless public would go home chirping
about the wisdom =" and the "genius
of the hoary Sabbath-breaker. If any
body caught him playing "mumble-peg
bv himself after the age Of sixty, he
would Immediately appear to be cipher
ing out how the grass grew-as II It was
any of his business. My granaiather
knew him well, and he says Franklin was
always Gxed.raiways ready, II 2 body
during his old age, hagEehed on him un-
expectedly when he was catching flies,
or making mud pies, or sliding on a Get
lar door. he would Immediately look
wise. rip out maxim, and walk oil with
his nose in the air and his cap turned
wrong side before, trying, to appear aD-
sent-minaed and eccentric. de was
He invented stove that would smoke
your head off in four hours by the clock
One can see the almost devilish satistac-
tion he took in it, by his giving IT bis
nau,c. iitE1a lta fA li.t ~
He was aiEays proud Of telling how he
entered philadelphia. foT the first time,
with nothing in the world bni tR9 .shll-
l;ngs in his pocket, and four rolls OF
M
bresd under his arm. But really, when 1
yo, come TO examine i critically, It was
nothing. Anybody could have done it.
To the subject VI this memoir belongs
the honor Of recommending i5e army to
90 back TO bows and arrows IN pisee ~
Sovonets and muskets. he observed
with his customary force, that the bayo-
net was very well, Epder circumstances
but that he doubted wheihaE y could be
nsed with accuracy at long range.
BENJAMIN Franklin did . great many
notable thinSs for bis country, and made
her Young name 90 b9 honored IN many
lands as the mother Of such n san. It's
,,.i the idea of this memoir to ignore that
or eoseF It up. No; the simple idea Of
4 Is 10 snub taase pretentious maxims OF
his which be WORKED M with a great
show Of originality out o. trgisRs that I
rad become wearisomt platltndes as
early as ths dispersion from Babel, and
also 20 snub BIS Epye, and his military
inspirations, his nDseeInig endeayor to
pske himself conspicuous yhen ne !