Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-04-17
BREvITIEs AND LEyITIEs

ouLt-piaStefs-aWardS tor damages.
: Conductors of sound -bandmasters.
A aborious ccupation--shop-liftin
The pale of civilization pearlpowder.
The color of parasites -fawn.
!; How to fire and fall back back-eet a
: gun that kicks.
Walters epltaph--he couldn't wait any
longer; SO he went.
In game Of cards good deal depends
on good playing, and good playing on a
, good deal.
VIII you take lunch is now rendered
VIII you surround some nourishment 2
The British Astronomer Royal has a
salary of 4fi, 900 year. He may thank
his stars for it.
An Iowa woman, whose child had been
whipped in school, interceded for her with
a cheese knife
A sick man was told that nothing could
cure him but quart of catnip tea.
Then must die, " said he, ''for don't
hold but pint. T"
Ii you can't coax a fish to bite, try
your peruasiye powers on a cross dog.
and you VIII be sure to succeed.
The eitire assets of Boston bankrupt
were nine children. The creditors did
the handsome thing, and let him keep
every one of them. ssTl
why are pimples on drunkard's face
IKE the cuts in witty London newspa-
per! They are Illustrations of Ptach.
| A batchel II gives it as his opinion.
from the roaring of infants, that they
must be fed on ice-cream.
Ii you would find great many faults.
DC on the lookout. If you would find
them in still greater abundance, be on the
look-in.
-Four colored girls are employed in the
Government printing office at Washing
ton to run the ruling machines. Very
proper, since theirs IS now the ssruling"
race.
a Nevada editor returns thanks TO his
friends fer two Christmas nresepts-a |
Bible and bottle of whisky. He saws
he has perused the latter with the utmost |
satisfaction and feels better.
The New York Cypress gives this rule
1or testing Christian: ''Set him to put
ting up an old mismatched stove-pipe.
and keep him at it an hour. If he doesn't
swear, he's seasoned"
A correspondent wrote TO newspaper
in behalf of san aged INDECENT mother
and was enraged in the morning that his
appeal was made to read in behalf of ga
one-eyed indignant woman
a soldier was wounded by a shell from
Fort wagner. He was going to the rear.
Wounded by shell!n some one asked.
es, he cody answered; 81 was right
under the darned thing when the bottom
dropped out p"
What do you know of the character of
this man 2" was asked of a witness at n
police court the other day. "What do |
know OF his character? 1 know it to be
unbleachable, yer honor" replied he with
emphasis.
Almost every one SayS sometimes, 80
dear or 20 dear mel" How many know
what 1t means? The former is corrupted
from the French, o Dieu? and Italian, o
Dt0E meaning o Cod and the latter from |
the Italian, o do mic! meaning, o my
Cod"
a well known judge, when he first came |
to the bar, was very laundering speaker.
On one occasion, when he was irving a
case involving a right of property to
lot of pigs, he said: Gentlemen of the
jury, there were just tYenty-four pigs in
that droye-just twenty-four, gentle
men-exactly twice as many as there are
in that jury box"
The Pittsfield and North Adams rail
road, IN Massachusetts, is not remarkable |
for speed As train on it recently came
to dead halt, passenger exclaimed:
''Well, wonder what we've stopped for
now Z" "Why," explains fellow-travel- I
or, Its TO take the cOw-catcher off the s
engine and put it on behind, to keep the I
COWS from running over us. :" Ii
This is the last joke about '9ittle
khody." A person travelling from Taun- {
ton to Hartford, the other day, over the q
tlshklll road, hearing the conductor sing
out "Willimantic," asked in surprise l
Mr. Conductor, have you called out the {
names of all the stations we've passed ~ q
Eyes sir, }" was the reply. ''Well, Them {
reJoined the traveller, 81 must have been 1
asleep; didn't hear you call Rhode c
Island.n c
A clerical principal of an Episcopal a
boarding school for boys called his pupils t
together at the beginning of Lent, and /
gave them short lecture upon self-denial L
md self-sacrifice, and advised them to t
select some article of food with which b
hey would dispense during the season of
Lent The boys were directed to go into +
room by themselves; and, after deciding il
what luxury they would give up, to return s
o the chapel and reports their decision. s.
The boys retired, and soon returned and il
made the following report: RESPECTED
have the honor to report that
Iour pupils have religiously considered
he subject submitted to them by your
cverence, and have unanimously voted I
o dispense with hash during Lent