The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-07-28
WE AND HUMOR.

"A parlor set--Iwo young people
o urting.
A good way to find woman out
Call when she isn't at home.
"A surprise wedding is when O man
marries woman he doesn't know, and
wishes he had never known.
Why is an interesting book like a
topsr's nose? Because it's read to the
very end
Speaking Of romance in marriage,
Il writer says that he never knew it to
last beyond the FIRST baby.
An editor Of paper in Indiana
wants to know if modern whisky was
ever seen "comin' through the rye?"
"A lady OF certain age says the
reason an old maid is generally so de-
voted to her cat is that, not having a
husband, she naturally takes to the
next most treacllerous animal.
"A cynical Journalist says the rca
son such number OF marriages occur
| Immediately after great war, is that
bachelors become SO accustomed to
strife, that they learn to like it.
An ncorrigibc loafcr being taken
to task for lis laziness, replied: i tell
you, gentlemen, you are mistaken.
have not lazy bone in my body. But
the fact is, was born tired
SCENE: Young lovers on tue ba!.
cony. Time: evening. Mr.. Billin--
oh, how calm, how sweet and peaceful
the moon looks" Miss Cooin-'Yes;
but don'e you think it looks very con,
spicaousT
An Illinois editor says: Trying
to do business without advertising is
like winking in the dark; yoa may
know that you are keep lg up pow
errul winkipg, but nobody else has any
idea Of it,
After Marriage. Henry, love.
wish you would throw away that book
anl talk to me. feel so dull A
long pause, and no reply. Henry,
dear, ny ioots asleep 1t is? We'll,
don't talk; you might wake it up
--'iiow is it, said Il gentleman to
Sheridan, that your name has not an
Q attached to it? Your family is Irish
and no doubt iluslrious.' no family
had better right to o than our fam
iIy,' said Sheridan, for we owe every.
body
In regard to womans rights, Rev.
Sidney Smith remarked, many years
ago, that the dear creatures had the
over in their control, for they had
only TO be all OF one mind, and the hu-
man race would be wiped away like An
old sum in multiplication on slate
Oar are said sable orator, two
roads iru dis world. De onc,,,am
broad and harrow, road dat leads to
pcrdition. and de udder ANA narrow
road dat leads to sure'dcstruc.iou. II
Int am de case said Il sable nearer,
dis cullud individual takes to de
woods
i like TO see the dear little crcs.
tucs amusing themselves" said Mrs.
Brown, when her elder boy took tho
visitors new bonnet and affixed it to
the tail Of his kite. Never fear said
The good matronsto her visitor, when
abe saw her bonnet in the air, AS soon
rs the L'lc comes down he will give it
10 you.
Two Dutchmcn lived very close
together and they had been fast friends,
but they fell out and hated each other
ike Indians. One Of them got sick
aud sent for his ncighbor, and said.
Hans, am going TO die--wlll you for
give meT If You die, 1 will said
Hans, but if you get wei! again tue.
old debt will stand good
"A man with four wives WAS
brought before Hans Swarihast, q Mo.
hawk justice, for commtment on
charge Of bigamy. -Four yivesr ex-
claimed the astonishcd Hans. Four
wives Dat vas most hinorious
crime! Discharch him ut vonst.'
'WhyT protested the prosecutor, why
discharge HIM when the proof is posi-
ave? VIII the Court cxplainT Yes,
ccksplains. Ii he IFS init four wives,
he got punishment enough. lf nit
Won, and l got too much punishment
already
THE SMACK IN SCHOOL.
district school not far away
Mid berkshire hills, one winters day,
Was humming with its wonted noise
or tlrcescorc mingled girls and boys;
some few upon their task intent.
But more on furtivc mischief bent,
The while the masters downward look
Was fastened on copy book;
When suddenly, behind his back.
Rose sharp and clear rousing SNACK.
~ 'twere battery of bliss
Set OIL in one tremendous kiss!