The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-02-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A GOLDEN AGE-Coinage.

A TICKLIsH Demonstrating upon
trifes.
PAY down when you buy, and you
won't have to pay up by-and-by.
THE WOMAN QUESTION" Is that back
hair all your OWN"
A GOOD RULE-To keep good company,
and be one of the number.
WISE men insure in the Washington
Life Insurance Co., of New York.
WHEN apprentices desire most to travel
When they become journey-men.
"MEIN HERR, do you know what for
we call our boy Hans ?" 81 do not,
really" "Well, tell you. Der reason
that we call our boy Hans is-it is ish
name"
ASTONISHING fashions in spring hats
and bonnets are promised. Perhaps the
bonnet will be worn under the chin, and
a bOw-not tied on the top of the head.
THE New York Eoening Post says: "1f
any very small boy asks what fruit is like
the site of the United States Naval Acad
envy, tell him an apple is"
A VERY VULGAR SELL You ought
not to come to our dance in boots with
nails in 'em" q haven't" " Then you've
SOMEBODY says that likes last trick was
| to throw Mrs. Partingtons gaiter into the
alley. and call the old lady down from the
third floor to see an alley gaiter.
A CORRESPONDENT of the Country Gen
| he,nan thinks if fruit trees were planted IL
stead of naples, We could have shade, or
nament and fruit.
JOSH BILLINGS says: "The mewl is a
larger bird than the guse or turkey. 1t
has two legs to walk with and two more
| to kick with and il wears its wings on
| the side of its head"
| / HAvE made sufficient examination OF
| the condition of the Washington Life In
surance Company of New York to war
rant me in taking policy of Twenty
Thousand Dollars. EDWARD F. JONES,
Pres. Jones Scale Works
New York, 1869.
EMILY Qittle sister)-What large fam
ily the spinsters must be. hear in church
every Sunday that some of them are going
to be married. Frances (elder sister)-Oh
you little stupid Don't you know what
spinsters are? Bachelor ladies, of course
| DENTIST "My dear woman, if yor
kept your teeth clean you would have les:
toOthache." Lady. "But, doctor, they
say that washing teeth wears them out.
Doctor "Good gracious, madam hope
you don't think that way when anything
ails your feet"
Two females in New Orleans were ar
rested for a breach of the peace. "Wha
did you fight about?" asked the justice
"Mr H." was the reply. where is he?'
he demanded. 'Here," responded small
! saueaking voice from the far corner of TIL
room. "Here, Your Honorr and poor
{ woe BECOME looking article made his ap
pearance. "Do you claim both Of thes
women as your wife?' the Recorder asked
"Well, AIRY one of 'em III do" why d.
you have two wives?" DWELL, you see
when one gets obstropercus l kin go T.
t'other, and she most generally pities me
THE following letter comes to the SUI
face in Texas paper: GALVESTON, Jan
uary the 7th, 1870. My Lovin Wyfe-Im
comm ONE mex week an hav forgiv yo1
for iawin me. I'll come on the o'clocl
trane and shall stay ONE hereafter u tt
to be a altered man. want peace an,
so do yew why shoodn't we love eacl
uther, as we use ter when we were frs
jined together in the wholly bands of mad
lock, I've jned a temperance society blu
if you ever jaw me agin for cummin ON
i'll wallap you like City fur we must hev
peese as grant ses.'
"SERvE him right" said Mrs. Punch
impatiently throwing down the paper con
tanning the report of a breach of promis
case, damages $3.50 Il don't care abou
a woman who brings an action of the sort
but man ought to be punished for writ
f ing such idiotic loveletters."
Logical as ever, my adored," said MI
Punch: "but it is in the fitness of thing
that love-letters should be idiOtic Low
! is a brief (very brief madness. Woul
you have Hanwell edit Euclid"
But a man needn't write Now, m
; dear Jane sixty times in one letter, an
, cover it with stars that mean kisses"
"Would you have him.send French ep
grams, or On analysis OF the result of deeI
/, sea soundings for molusks?"
I'D have him rational"
t "Then, my worshipped, he had bette
: postpone love-letter writing until aftC
marriage"
, "Wcll," said Mrs. Punch, smilin;
S "perhaps that would be the best wa,
= But then they would never be written ;
all"
7 "And ,rh0se .faut acodd that BE- ?" sal
{ Mr.. Punch, escaping from the ROOM
S | Punch.