The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1870-09-23
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.T3A PRRILOUS ADVEyFURE.
The Danger Of Drinking tOS Mach
i Before Dinner.

/ was on my road to join for the first
time my regiment, which was ther
quartered at Portsmouth. The was te
be general parade at ten a. NJ. or
Tuesday. At two POM. the regiment
was to embark for foreign parts.
ought to have been present at the pa
rade; but my kind-hearted colonel
who was Indirectly acquainted with
our family, wrote to me and said, thai
as / might possibly be up rather late on
my last night in England, and as
moreover, could be of no use at the
parade, he would excuse my attend.
ance there; but he added, in somewhat
peremptory language, that no possible
allowance could be made if arrived al
Portsmouth later than the one P. NJ
tain; thatTI must report myself al
haf-pastA one, and embark with the
regiment at two o'clock. He also, ]
remember, said something about the
regiment soon going into action
abroad, and limited at commissions be
ing lost by circumstances SO trivial as
unpunctuality on the eve of real war
fare. .s,'aro-
J. Well, it was about three P. NJ. on
Monday before the Tuesday I have al
luded to: I had made a very heavy
bunch at New College, Oxford. The
days then We're those in which prOba.
bly, more Strong and xxx ale. were
drank in a week at that College than
are now consumed in a month";
Strong and XXX had figured at our
lunch, likewise sherry and champagne.
/ inllxv xy-har II loft nvfnrd nj
my way to London, via Bletchley.-
From Oxford to Bletehley Junction ]
slept little. When arrived at the
last named place, l was obliged to
change trains, and wait for the express,
due in ten minutes time. l had not
coppers (beg pardon, ladies; / mean a
somewhat parched mOuth) after the
champagne, XXX, and my sleep, so l
went into the refreshment room, and
had some beer. / have no doubt it was
nasty, heady stuff, but it cooled my fe.
verish mouth. Excited little with
nay midday meal, and by nature in
clined to argue, got into some debate,
Iforgot what, but 1 believe a political
one, with some gentleman, who was,
like me, refreshing himself Distinctly
do remember bell rung as depart
ing signal; distinctly do recollect the
guards voice sounding through the re-
freshment room doors "Any more for
the up-express ?" but the words fell on
my hazy ears slightly like brother
Ned's when, in solemn language he is
laying down self-evident truths in his
pulpit. beg pardon, Ned; the sequel
will prove that you and guard were
right, wrong for nay inattention.
I Something, / know not what, sud-
denly made me think that my train,
the express, was starting-was off. l
rushed on to the platform. The eX-
press had started. The guards box,
the last in the train, had just cleared
the station. ran hard, and could cas-
lily have jumped into the guards van,
mot second class carriage as on some
other lines, but spacious affair, OPEN
ed behind, into which any tolerably ac-
tive person could spring and find safe
ty. Awretched porter or pointsman
tried to stop me; swiftly dodging him
1 got ahead, and jumped on the foot
board of the carriage, just in front of the
guards van. Now, in those days there
was no communication between guard
and engine-driver.Iu In those days, too,
none of you carried, as most of you /
daresay now do, a railway key. The
doors of the carriage on to the step of
which had jumped were locked. The
train, an up-express, had pulled up at
the down platform, possibly because
there was refreshment room there.
And so my fix was this. / was
standing on the fOot-board of an alrea-
dy very much swinging carriage. The
speed was rapidly increasing, and !
could not get into it. There was not
much chance of the engine driver stop
ping to save me, because, as was on
the off side, it was not likely should
be noticed az we came through the sta
tons. The guard crept along, not eX-
actly his fOot-board, for the guards van
was not made like the other carriages,
but he stepped from point to point, and
urged me in every way that he could
to move from my platform to his car
riage. l could not; my nerves failed
me. The train was getting into full
swing-thirty, forty, sixty miles an
houI-before could make up my mind.
The guard, entreating me to hold tight,
retreated to his den. From time to
time, saw his kind face looking at
me, with outstretched neck, and his
mouth speaking words of encourage
ment and caution.
They never reached me, but We're
borne back by the wind Bletchley way.
Hold on L did, with the grim clutch
of a worse than drowning man. One,
and only one male passenger was i'm
the carriage on the foo.~board of which
L was riding. He did everything he
could for me; tried to get me through
the window-a great failure; gave me
brandy; passed a sash round my body,
and held the two ends himself. On
we sped. My head was dizzy and turn
ing; my hands were cramped and get
ting tired; my legs almost blown off {;
my hat quite SO. Iwell remepber the
icy feel of the tunnels; the horrible
earthly smell, mixed with a flavor of
compressed steam; the drops of water
falling from the roof ON my uncovered
head and oh! the passing of trains !!
The first met was in tunnel; glued
myself to the side of my carriage. The
second was a luggage train in the open.
Would it never come to an end?
thought 1; and yet 1 suppose we were
only a few seconds passing it. The
third seemed to be a brother-express.-
Phhsshtt l thought I had been car
ried off in its violent whirlwind, but
awoke to a sense of what was compar-
ative safety, clinging, yet more closely,
with fast-dying grasp, to the door-han-
die; supported yet more firmly by the
inside passenger and his scarf, rushing
through vacant windy space in the
shape of cornfields and labOrers; now,
| mill or two, and man; now, a sta
ton, where everybody's arms seemed
| to be raised on, high in horror; now
ugh !-arother luggage-train. "More
brandy'?" said my kind preserver. 1
drank it. Hurrah! we are slackening
speed-we have pulled up! half
swoon; ! find myself in the custody of
railway officials. / am accused of rid
ing without ticket-of getting into
| the train when i'm motion; am threat
ened with being given in charge. My
head is young, and not oversteady after
its railway gallop. Brandy, XXX and
sherry-yood servants but bad masters
assert their sway. expected kind
ness; / met with coarse roughness.
expected congratulations / meet with
threats. Is it any wonder that l get
into rage? l believe use strong Ian
guage. | struggle to get free-I fight
the end is, / find myself in "a station
house, in charge'of the police. Weari-
ed, worried, not drunk, but having
been over-excited, and being over-ex-
cited with my ride of death and its
consequences, L fall asleep.
1t was about one O'clock, A. NJ, when
/ awoke. l recollected everything. l
was in a room with two or three dirty
fellows, half drunk, half asleep, who
| hnn haail taken I'M in soma row There