The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-01-18

cried like a baby.
Then / dug them all up; they had
kept first rate. There don't seem to be
much profit in it. Mr.. Stoddles re-
marked that they were not a prolific va
riety and | don't think they were my
self.
Don't ever keep bees. l have some,
but Stoddles accidentally sat on one, one
day, and he made such a. howl about it
that the whole hive swsFmed on me and
scared me out Of my senses. l like
sociable bee, but there is such a thing as
overriding cordiality.
How are you on parsnips? advise
you not to cultivate them A man gave
me some seeds, which he said were
a. good variety. l planted one to try it.
1t was a double rooted kind-straddled
out like fork in the road. When it got
ripe thought would take it up, but it
wouldn't come. | tackled that parsnip
with a monkey wrench a crowbar and
cross cut saw, but it never moved an
inch. Stoddles said it was on account of
them roots, and | had better have them
extracted with gas. He said he thought
very likely them two roots ran around
the globe, like the equator, and clinched
on 5he other side"
So we got out yoke of oxen, and
htched them on, and the old vegetable
came along with half ton of rock in
his grip, and then it was so tough that
you couldn't make an impression on it
with cold chisel.
! suppose you are not bothered any
with crows. Well, am. The crow is
a vivacious and sagacious bird. Our
crows combined the acute intelligence Of
human and condor. sowed patch Of corn
last spring, and went to tea at night feel
ing sweetly and calmly y happy.
The crows held caucus that evening,
and fell in for grub on my corn. There
wasn't grain left in the morning.
| sowsd some more and narrowed it
in; you know what a harrow is-an ex-
aggerated curry-comb. Well, stra uge to
relate, the crows missed just seven grains
81 that corn, and precisely that number
of stalks came up, and probably [ should
have got in crop of two or three ears to
the acre, if the cows hadn't broke the
fence, and ate it before it came to any
thing. Mr.. Stoddles says corn is poor
crop. should think it was.
AS | couldn't Get water from the well,
| concluded to take it from the river
So | laid down mile and half of, pipe
and set hydraulic ram to force the wa
ter along. 1t worked first rate, but the
trouble s | can't stop the ram. After |
got enough Of water, in the tank, the
ram kept on pumping, and the water over
flowed and,drenched the house, and flood
ed the kitchen, and finally arranged it
self into first class cascade out of
the garret window. it is going yet, and
l sleep in the barn. If you hear Of any
body advertising for a. a.magnifcent water
fall, let me know, will you?
And then as to horses. | know that
man whose horse went SO fast that when
he stopped him suddenly it turned the
hair the wrong way, but that is not the
forte of my horse. My horses weakness
is backing. AS a backer never saw his
equal. he would back from here tC
Kansas if you'd let him. He seems tc
think that is the way nature intended
him togo | always hitch him up with
his head over the dash board Of the Wa
gon, aud he trots along first rate. That
is, he used to. For last Wednesday
tied him to tree, and he got one Of his
fits on him, and backed clear out hi
hide, which he left hitched to the tres
while he pranced his ole carcass over th(
asparagus bed, and died, But as he haC
the glanders, and worried with the bots
and bothered with the blind staggers, anc
besides having the heaves, and beins
sprung in the knees, it was just as well
Mr.. Stoddles says that is the best day
:. job he ever did If you know MAJ
who has a.tastc for farming-some regu
lar feeble-minded, gibbering imbecile OF
an idiot who wants to buy place, re
commend him to me, will yon? | wan
to sell out.cheap. I'd rather have com
|. Portable situation in. State Prison than t.
be gardening here in this kind Of style
RcA Poverty does not alWays shorte,