The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-01-13
SWEETW ATER TENN. THURSDAY, JANUARY 49, 1870
Where the Laugh Comes in.

SAID female to her visitors one day. I'm
at home myself, and wish you all were."
sam / not a little pale % inquired La
dy, who was rather short and corpulent,
Of a crusty old bachelor. "You look more
like big tub" was the blunt rejoinder.
A despairiug swain, in fit of despera-
tion, recently declared to his unrelenting
lady love, that it was his firm intention to
drown himself, or perish in the attempt.
IAN Irish clergyman, preaching dis
course in behalfo blind asylum, began
by gravely remarking. 'If all the world
were blind, what melancholy sight it
would be- P
A travelling dentist left his creditors,
in fashionable English watering place,
the following cheering announcement on
his door: ''Dr. NJ is gone to London
to attend the Royal family"
A widow of the name of Rugg having
taken Mr.. Price for hersecond husband,
and being asked by friend how she liked
the change, replied. "0h, l have sold my
old Rugg for a good Price,"
An italian, who was very poor, and very
much addicted to play, used to apostro-
phize Fortune thus: "Treacherous god
dess thou canst make me lose, but thou
canst not make me pay"
A gentleman in the country lately ad-
dressed passionate billet-doux to lady
in the same town, adding this curious
postscript, "Please to send a speedy answer,
as | have somebody else in my eye"
''Our life is but bubble" said Mrs
Simpkins, in a spirit of resignation to her
spouse, who was rating her about her SLOW.
emily habits. 81 wish your life was a soap.
bubble, then" rejoined her husband.
"Biddy," said lady to her servant, %
wish you would step over and see how ole
Mrs. Jones is this morning. In few
minutes Biddy returned with the informa
tion that Mrs. Tones was just seventy-tw,
years, seven months and two days old.
D'Orsy, in remarking on a beauty spocl
on the cheek of a lady, compared it to
gem on rose leaf. "The compliment i
far Fetched . observed her ladyship "HoV
can that be," rejoined the count, "wher
it is made Oh. the spot :"
!. An old lady said her husband was yer
: fond of peaches, and that was his onl
fault. "Fault, madam p said one, "hO'
!. can you call that fault 2" "Why, becaus
r there are different ways of eating peaches
r my husband takes them in the form {
! brandy"
y A householder, who lately effected
= sale, was offered bottle of porter to cor
Z fess the animals failings. The bottle wc
drunk, and he then said the horse had bu
: two faults, When turned loose in th
: field lie was hard to catch, and he was
!. no use when he was caught. 81
n A stranger joined without invitation
J. party dining at an hotel. After dinner /
% boasted so much of his abilities, that on
it of the party said, "You have told /
r. enough of what you can do--tell us som
,r thing you cannot do" SWELL" said h
le 81 cannot pay my share Of the reckoning
le A cleanly- shaved gentleman inquire
g, of a fair demoiselle, the other da
10 'sWhether or noshe admired moustachios
4. "Oh," replied the charmer, with an ar,
ID look, 81 invariably set my face again
s. them" Very shortly afterwards, his u
ID per lip betrayed symptoms Of careful Gu
le tivation.
Is 81 call upon yod," said the counsellc
5 ''to state distinctly upon what authors
g you are prepared to swear to the mare
., % age :" 'The best authority" respondc
VI the ostler, grufiy.l HsThen stale it
IS once; for must and will haveitw "We
'g then, ifyou must, and will have it, VIII
Is, then, I had it from the mare'sown mouth
s. A French gentleman, travelling in |
ne cabriolet from Paris to Calais, was accos
a. ed by man walking along the road, VI
III begged the favor of him to put his gre
O. coat, which he found very heavy, into
N carriage. 'fWith all my heart" said
IS. gentleman; "but if we should not be ira
is cling to the same place, how will you {
On your coatl' 'sMonsieur," said the ma
Id with great gravity, 81 shall be in it,"
9u Fourteen Buffalo girls have signed a
ra sent this note to a modest young ma
n s'We, the undersigned, have been comp
an ing notes, and find that you have be
1t equally sweet to one and all of us-ha
ut paid the same compliments to each, a
ng made love in the same terms in every ca
We are indignant at such duplicity a
!. demand an explanation.
ria "Who's that gentleman, my little maj
ed was asked Of an urchin. ~
le. "That one with the spike-tailed coat
,t. "Yes," was the response.
I'M "Why, he's brevet uncle of mine."
,st "How's that?" was asked.
az "Beoause he's engaged to my aunt \
ry." g.i.s M
ra ra' A Georgia editor hearing Of Gene
~ Sherman as the 'scoming man." expires
n nj the fervent hope that he is not coming Il
40 way..s' gd;gha b2fsl'a 173!as
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