Eaton weekly Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, 1870-05-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
IAp.sAcK-A- pillow-case.


ANkP-sAcK-A pillow-case.
A eALE-A-DAY is no treat for a mariner.
GROUND RENTS = The effect of an
earthquake.
THE Spring-tfme of Life-Our dancing
days.
JUDY thinks g doctors bills " are a "tax
on patience"
WHAT can you not name without break
ing it? Silence.
WHY are bushes like girls Z Because
they become women. q
IF you want TO marry a real estate
agent, marry arich wife,.
WHY is love like a canal boat? Be-
cause it is an internal transport.
THE most pleasant reflection some young
ladies have is the mirror. !
IT is only those who have done nothing
who fancy they can do everything.
MANAGEMENT is better than stupidity.
A policy in the Washington is better than
the promises of relatives.
A. F. WMMARTH, Vice President of the
Home, of New York, is a policy-holder,
STOCKHOLDERS and director of the Wash
ington Life,
AN English paper says: GA friend of
ours, whenever he dispatches a telegram
now, invariably sends off a letter by post,
to say it is comingI"
A WATERBURY, Conn.,, physician re-
Gently received a note from a mother,
which read as follows: "Doctor-Sir
Call and see the Baby and veXett him as
the small pox is a Bout here as soon as
you get this"
A CoLUMBUs photographer presented a
revolver at the head of a gentleman who
was sitting for his photograph, with the
cheering remark: "My reputation as an
artist is at stake. If you don't look smil:
ing I'll blow you brains out" He smiled
q CHASTITY smile. 90
CELERY, DREssED.-The yelks of two
eggs and a cupful of cream must be put
into a pan, and be beaten well together /;
then add as much vinegar as suits your
taste, and a lump of butter the size of a
walnut. Let all boil together for two
minutes, and then pour the mixture over
the celery. Add salt and pepper.
THE NORMAL MUSICAL ACADEMY of
the Northwest holds an Institute course
of two weeks in the Lecture Hall of Cros-
Aug. 23d, 1870, with the following power
full combination of teachers: HsR Palm
er, Carlo Bassini, Hans Balatka, Robert
Goldbeck, Dudley Buck, and EsE Whit
temore. A very interesting programme
of each days exercises senttoanyone ad
dressing n. R, Palmer, Principal 10 eros
by's Opera House, Chicago z
06 L0O A6nAC6 0Co4O w OO VII
sidered beautiful, we publish the follow
ing recipe for accomplishing that desired
end:
How to be beautiful when oldf
1 can tell you, maiden fair ~
Not by lotions, dyes and pigments:
Not by washes for your hair.
While you're young be pure and gentle, X
Keep, your passions we'll controlrd,
Walk, work, and do your duty,
You'll be handsome when you're old.
Snow white locks are fair as golden,
Gray as lovely as the brown;
And the smile of age more pleasant
Than a youthful beauty's 6fown-
lis The soul that shapes the features,
Fires the eye, attunes the voice;
Sweet sixteen, be these your maxims,
When you're sixty you'n rejoice.
A STRONG HNT.-A little boy, who
had been told that he must never ask for
anything to eat away from home, went
into a neighbours house when the lady
CHANGED to be frying doughnuts. OH
said he, "you are cooking" Aware that
he had been well trained, and anxious to
see whether his appetite would get the
better of his manners, the lady did not
give him any of the donghnuts-"Welb''-
cakes look nice" ooh, very nice" said
the lady ; "they are the best / aver cook
ed" After playing with the cat a few
minutes, he remarked, =" And they smell
nice" %OhI yes, they smell very nice"
was the lady's tantalizing answer "Well,p
said the boy, 81 suppose if any little
child that was hungry should come in here
when you are cooking, you would give
him something to eat" well, yes, j
think I should. "Then," said he, after
another turn with the cat, ct guess /
must go home, for I am very h~ungry."i-It
is needless to add that he got a doughnut.