Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1870-04-22


I! -. - !. !, !: :; J; ! " I
with their Cham, or Iligh Priest.
Inc Bishop learned from the Clum, OF
IIi5L Priest, the heads of the Canoodle-
Dummcl's iaith.
lie found that at sunrise they were SUM
moned to prayer by the beating Of TOM
tom, or the blowing of horn.
1t does not matter which," said the
Chum.
"lIow is this?" said the Bishop. at does
not matter which?"
ut does not in the least matter whether
1t is tom-tom or a hornP" said the Chum.
"Why should it?"
"oh,' said the Bishop, "this is a terrible
state of things" And he thought to him
s,lf, at is useless just at present to cndeav-
or to incu!cate the beauties of Christianity
among this ignorant and unsophisticated
people. In their present state of mind they
Will not appreciate what have to tell them.
will begin by endeavoring to instil heal
thicr moral tone, so they will the more
readily apprehcnd the doctrine that shall
then lay before thcm."
Nith the permission of their chief, he
summoned the tribe. They came like
lambs.
"Oh, Canoodlc- -Dummcrs," said he, 81
am paincd 20 find that you are indifferent
as to whether a tom-tom or horn is used
to summon you to your devotions."
1--WE arc quite indifferent" said they,
with one voice, $50 that we are summon
cd"
But said the Bishop, "Observe, if Il
horn is right, tom-tom must be wrong.
SO, likewise, if n tom-tom is right, horn
is out Of the question:
"But, why?' said the Canoodle- Dunn
mers.
"why?" echoed The Bishop, Indignantly.
"Why, of coursc!"
"I sec," said each Canoodle- Dummer,
thoughtiully. And the members of the
tribe looked askance at each other, and each
edged away from his neighbor.
And the next day the tribe was divided
INTO two mighty religious factions, those
---h.- stood up for the horn, and those who
stocd up for the tom-tom.
The ChunI, Or High Priest, cndeavored,
but in vain, to reconcile them. "Why,"
said the Chum, 'should you quarrel ON
such point? You are all good men. You
are all amiable, sufficiently virtuous, tolor-
ably sober, charitable, and generally well
conducted. You agree on all the points OF
your religion. Why divide on matters of
unimportant dctail?"
"Why, indeed?'' said ;hc tribe. And the
two factions embraced.
"Stopv' said the Bishop, II am panied
beyond measure to see this. What are the
ingredients of plum pudding to the shape
Of the mould in which it is boiled?"
"Nothing at all, T." said the tribe. And they
were again, and finally, divided.
The Bishop persevered.
lie addressed the Horn party, and said
~ notice with pain that some of your herns
are long, and some arc short. This should
not be-"
(Which is rght?" said the Horn party.
II am not of your religion" said the
Bishop, $50 cannot undertake to offer an
opinion. But one thing is certain-if one
is right, the other is wrong"
So the Horn party was divided into two
sects-the Long Horns andthe Short Horns.
And the Long Horns hated the Short
Horns even more than the Horn party hat
cd the Tom-tom party. And the Short
Horns returned the compliment.
The Bishop then addressed the Tom-tom
party, and said: Il am grievod to see that
some of your Tom-toms are long and mar
row, while others are short and stout. If it
is right that Tom-tom hould be long and
narrow, it is sin TO use those that are OF
diamctrically opposite form
And the Tom-tom party were accordingly
diviood into two soc,s, the Long and ) ar
row Tom-tom, and the Short and Stout
Tom-tom.
And the feud that existed between the
Horn party and the Tom-tom party was as
nothing compared to that which ragged be-
tween tue Long aud Narrow Tom-tom par
ty and the Short and Stout Tom-tom par
ty.
The Bishop still persevered.
He pointed out to the Long Horn party
that somo of the Long Horns were sharp
and somo were fiat.
So the Long Horn party were subdivid-
cd, and became the Sharp Long Horns and
the Flat Long Horns. lie pointed out 10
the Short Horn party that some of the
Short Horns wero cows horns and some
were rams horns.
SO the Short Horn party were subdivid-
ed, and became the Short Cow Horns and
the Short Ram Horns.
The Bishop still persevored.
He pointed out to the Long and Narrow
Tom-tom party that some of their long and
skin Of sheep, and some with the skin of
pigs.
So tho Long and Narrow Tom-tom party
were suhdividod, and became the Long and
Narrow Sheep-headed Tom-tom party, and
the Long and Narrow Pig-headed Tom-tom
party.
He pointed out to the Short and Stout
Tom-tom party that some of their short and
stout Tom-toms were bored in with wood
and some with iron. So the Short and
Stout Tom-tom party were subdivided into
the Short and Stout Wooden-boxod Tom
tom party, and the Short and Stout Iron
boxed Tom-tom party.
And hero tho good Bishop took breath
and rested, For by this time there was
only one man to each subdivision, and the
process of disintegration could be carried
on no further.
Let US hope however, that he was as sue
cessful in converting them to Christianity,
aS ha wnq in brinOinO thpm IN N rhriotio,