Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-09-08
POLITICAL ECoyoMY,
BY MARX TWAIN.

GOOD government. The WlSeet men OF all
ages have brought to bear upon this sub
ject the 49,
Here was interrupted and informed
that . stranger wished to see me down at
the door. l went and confronted him,
and asked to know his business, strug-
Cling ali the time to keep tight rein on
my seething political economy ideas, and
not let them break away from me or
get tangled in their harness.. And pri-
VA4A1v 1-sviahod 49, -seraugUr WAS IN the
bottom Of the canal with q cargo Of wheat
on top of him. / was all In . fever, but
he was cool He said he was sorry to
disturb me, but as he was passing he no.
ticed tina: needed some lightning rods.
] said, "Yes, yes-go on what about IT."
He said there was nothing about it. in
notwithstanding except he would like
to put them up for me. am new to
housekeeping have been used to hotels
and boarding houses all my life. Like
anybody else of similar experience, try
to appear Ito strangers) to be an old
houseKeeper consequently said in an
off-hand way that l had been intending
for some time to have six or eight light
ming rods put up, but. The stranger
started, and looked inquiringly at me, but
/ was serene. Thought that if chsnced
to make any mistakes he would not
catch me by my countenance. He said
he would rather have my custom than
any mans in town. said all right, and
started eff to wrestle with my great sub
iact again, when he called me back and
said Il would be necessary to know ex-
actly how many "points" wanted put
up, what part of the house wanted them
on, and what quality Of rod preferred.
It was close quarters FOX man not used
70 the exigencies of housekeeping, but l
went through creditably, and he probably
never suspected that was novice.
told him to put up eight "points," and
put them all on the ROOF, and use the best
quality of rod. He said he could furnish
the "plain" article, at 20 cents foot;
coppered," 25 cents; "zinc plated, spi-
ral-twist," at 30 cents, that would stop q
streak OF Lightning any time, no matter
where it was bound, and "render its er-
land harmless and its further progress
apocryphal." I said apocryphal was no
SLOUGH of a word, emanating from the
source il did, but philology aside liked
the spiral twist and would take that
brand Then he said he could make two
hundred and fifty feet answer, bur to do it
right, and make the best job in town of
it, and attract the admiration of the just
and the unjust alike, and compel all par
ties to say they never saw more SYM
metrical and Hypothetical display Of light
ming rods since they were born, he sup
posed he really couldn't get along with
out four hundred, though he was not vim
dictive and trusted he was willing to try.
I said 90 ahead and use four hundred and
make any kind Of q job he pleased out Of
il, but LET me get back to my work. So ]
got rid Of him at last and now, after half
an hour spent in getting my train of po-
litical economy thoughts coupled together
again, l am ready to 90 on once more
richest treasures of their genius, their ex-
perience of life, and their learning The
great lights Of commercial jurisprudence,
international confraternity, and biological
of all ages, all civilizations, and
all nationslities, from Zoraster down to
Horace Greeley, have
Here was interrupted again and re-
qulred to go down and confer further
with that lightning rod man. I hurried
of, boiling and surging with prodigious
thoughts wombed in words Of such males
ty that each one of them was In Itself q
struggling procession OF syllables that
might be fifteen minutes passing given
point, and once more confronted him
he 90 calm and sweet, ! SO hot and
frenzied. He was standing in the contem-
plative attitude of the Colossus Of Rhodes,
with one foot on my infant tnberose and
the other among nv pansies, mis- hands on
his hips, his hat-brim tilted forward, one
eye shut and the other gazing critically
and admiringly in the direction Of my
principal chimney. He said now there
was state Of things 10 make man glad
to be alive; and added, II leave it to you
if you ever saw anything more delicious
" picturesque than eight lightning rods on
one chimney" l said had no present
recollection of anything that transcribed
it. He said that in his opinion nothing
on this earth but Niagara Falls was supe-
rlor to it in the way Of natural scenery.
All that was needed now, he firmly be-
lieved, to make my house perfect balm
to the eve, WAS 10 kind of touch up the
other chimneys little and thus add TO
the generous coup d. all soothing uni
formity of achievement which would allay
the excitemen naturally consequent upon
the first coup d. etat." asked him If he
learned to talk out of book, and IL could
borrow it anywhere. He smiled pleas
antly and said that his manner OF
speaking was not taught in books,
and that nothing but familiarity with
lightning could enable a man to handle
his conversational style with impunity
He then figured up an estimate, and said
that about eight more rods scattered about
my roof would about fix me right, and he
guessed five hundred feet of STUFF would
do it; and added that the first eight had
got little the start of him, so to speak,
and used up a mere trifle Of material
more than he had calculated on-a hun
dred feet or along there. l said l was in q
dreadful hurry, and I wished we could
get this business permanently mapped
out 10 that could 60 on with my work.
He said ~ could have put up those
eight rods, and marched of about my
business some men uoaild have done it.
But no, said to myself, this man is .
stranger 70 me and l will die before I'll
wrong him; there amt lightning rods
enough on that house, and for one I'll
never stir out Of my tracks till I've done
g would be done by, and told him so.
Stranger, my duty Is accomplished; If
the recalcitrant and dephlogistic messeu-
ger Of heaven strikes your - There,
now, there. / said, "put on the other
eight-sdd five hundred feet of spiral