The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1870-07-07
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
COUNTRY SEAT-A milking. stool.


a vow(A(L OF INDEBTEDNESS %!
NATURES WEAPoNs-Blades of grass.
Ho(A)RsE ExERCIsE-Singingw with
bad cold
TRANSPORTED FOR LIFE-The man who
marries happily.
TIE QUESTION OF To-DAY-What's for
dinner
AYAwN in company generally indicates
gap in the conversation.
To prevent fish from smelling in the
summer-Cut their noses off.
THE most fatal form of consumption
The consumption of strong drink.
IN Chicago the procuring of divorce
is called counting after marriage.
CALIFORNIA strawberries are so big they
plug them to see if they are ripe.
The Washington Life offers all the adj
vantages Of a. stock and mutual company
combined.
WHAT two sciences are employed by
teamsiers in driving oxen? Horticulture
and Geology.
The only men who think we'll of misers
are the expectant heirs, who don't care
how saving the fellow is.
A MAN in Portland wanted to gain ad-
mission to panorama at half price on the
ground that he had but one eye.
| RED BEAR, the Indian warrior, says he
thinks the white squaws are very hand
some, but they have on too much war
paint.
If you were to die to-day, would you
leave your family Independent of chart
/ ty? Insure in the Washington Life Insur-
ance Company, of New York.
THE New Albany Ond) Ledger says
that on the door of business house of
that city the following sign is written in
/ pencil: " Loafurs ar newCense heare."
/ A PHILOSOPHER says, if you want a
/ pair of boots to last four years, melt and
mix four ounces of mutton tallOw, apply
while warm, place the boots in closet
and go barefoot.
A CALIFORNIAN says he raised beets,
last year, so large that some Of his pigs
ate tunnels through the centre of some OF
the largest specimens, without disturbing
the outside.
THEY say an Idaho girl puts on style
because she Cleans her teeth with the butt
end Of backing brush. She says she
was brought up to be neat, and doesn't
care what folks think.
A CONTRIBUTOR to an English journal
received the following encouraging no
tice: "The editor will not be able to
glance at your Ms. for several years.
IL is DOW at my Office awaiting your
wishes"
A GOOD old apothecary in Brunswick
Me-, LETT one day, on his door, a scrap o.
| paper, which read: "GOne to Portland
Those who cannot read this notice, will
please call at the book bindery, OppO
site"
A HoRTICULTURIsTl advertised that
he would supply all kinds of seeds ant
plants Some wag sent an order for one
package of custard-pie seed and dOzer
OF mince- pie plants, which he filled by
sending twelve hens eggs and small
dog.
BACHELORS" says Josh Billings, Ear,
always braggin' ov their freedom
Freedom to darn their own stockings ant
pOultice their own shinsl / had rattle
be a widdower once in two years, reglar
than tew be gruntiDg, Old, hair-dye,
bachelor only ninety days"
ONE exceeding warm day in June
neighbOr met an old man. and remarke,
; that it was very hot. EYES," said Joe
; If it wasn't for one thing | should say w
were going to have thaw." "Wbat i
tnats" inquired the friend. "There'
: nothing froze," said Joe.
THE Prince Of Wales, in a, recen
speech at dinner given in aid of the Lon
don Children's Hospital, said: "There
one fact, gentlemen, to which wish I
: draw your attentiOn-viz: That one thir
of the adult population of this countr
never arrives at maturity"
AT a match race of carrier-pigeons, duI
ing the month of May, tXp pigeons file,
a distance of seven hundred miles in les
than eight hours. They were let loose i
the morning at o'clock in Pesth, Hun
gary, and arrived, at 2 o'clock p. m, a
Cologne, although in an exhausted cOnd
ton.
, "A DISTINGUISHED President of Hal
, ward College was once asked by a brothe
|. clergyman how long it took him TO writ
: a sermon. He said, Sometimes weel
r sometimes longer" "What A week
r write sermon? L write one in a day
, and make nothing of it," Yes" reptile
the Doctor, "but l make something {
, mine
. A COLONEL of regiment which serve
during the late war tor n short time me
t one of his nss N In the street a few day
: since, and, liter talking over camp lit,