Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-07-07
#iisrfIlaneuns

@ aaisrfllanfuns
From the Msmoranda of Mark Twain in July
Galaxy "ii
~ se TWAIN.
HOW IEDITED AN AGRICULTURALPA PAPER
s.sss- ONCE.
/ did not take the temporary editor.
ship of an agricultural paper without
misgivings. Neither would landsman
take command of a ship without mis-
givings. But I was in circumstances
that made the salary an object. The
regular editor of the paper was going of
for holiday, and accepted the terms
he offered, and took his place.
Thesensation of being at work again
was luxurious, and wrought all the
week with unfiagged pleasure. We
went to press, and waited day with
some solicitude to see whether my effort
was going to attract any notice. AS
left the office, toward sundown, a group
of men and boys at the foot of the stairs
dispersed with one impulse, and gave
me passage-way, and heard one of
them say. "sThat's himW 1 was nat
urally pleased by this incident. The
next morning found similar group
at the foot of the stairs, and scattering
couples and individuals standing here
and there, in the street, and over the
way, watching me with interest. The
group separated and fell back as I ap-
preached, and I heard a man say
"Look at his eyes!" 1 pretended not to
observe the notice was attracting, but
secretly 1 was spleased with it., and was
proposing to- write an account to my
aunt. 1 went up the short flight of
stairs,S and heard cherry voices and a
ringing laugh as I drew near the door,
which opened, and caught a glimpse
of two young, rural-looking men, whose
faces b;anched and heightened when
they saw me, and then both plunged
through the window, with great crash.
was surprised.
In about half an hour an old gentle
man, with p flowing beard and fine
but rather $ustere face, entered, and sat
down at my invitation. He seemed to
have something on his mind. He took
off his hat and set it on the floor, and
got out of it,a red handkerchief and a
copy of our paper. Heput the paper on
his lap, and, while he polished his spec
tacles with his handkerchief, he said:
"Are you the new editor?n
I said i was. ls
Have you never edited an agricul-
tural paper before?"
mo said "this is my first attempt" !"
"Very likely. Have you had any ex-
perience in agriculture, practically?
mo, 1 believe l have not.n
"Seme instinct told me so,n said the
old gentleman. putting on his spectacles
and looking over them at me with as
perity, while he folded his paper in a
convenient shape. 1t was this editorial.
Listen, and see if it was you that wrote
it: sa
"Turnips should never be pulled--it
Injuries them. 1t is much better to send
boy up and shake the tree.
"Now, what do you think of that?--
for really suppose you wrote it ?"
"Think oft? Why L think it is good.
think it lis sense. I have no doubt
that, every year. millions and millions
of bushels of turnips are spoiled in this
township alone by being pulled in
half-ripe condition, when, if they had
sent the boy up to shake the tree-'
''Shake your grandmother! Turnips
don't grow on trees ~
"Oh, they don't, don't they? Well,
who said they did The language was
intended to be figurative, wholly figura-
tive. Anybody, that knows anything,
will know that meant that the boy
should shake the vine. .ns-s
Then this old person got upand tore
his paper all into small shreds, and
stamped scnS them, and broke several
things With his: cane, and said that I
did not know as much as u COW; and
then. went out, and banged the door
:Aftef him, and, in short, acted in such
SPway that / fancied that he was dis
pleased at something. But, Eot know
ing what the trouble was, I could not be
any help to him.
Pretty soon after this long, cadaver-
Qds creature, with lanky locks hanging
down to his shoulders and a weeks
stubble bristling from the hills and val
leys of his face, darted within the door,
and halted, smotionless with finger on
lip, and head and body bent, in listen
ing attitude. No sound was heard.
Still he listened No sound. Then he
turned the key in the door, and came
elaborateiy tip-toeing toward me, when
he stopped, and after scanning my face
with siutense interest," for a while, drew
a folded copy of>our paper from his
bosom and said:
"There-you wrote that. Read it to
me, quick! Believe mel suffer-"
1 read as follows7and as the sentences
fell from my lips<I could see the relief
come-I could see the drawn muscles
relax, and the anxiety go out ofhis face,
and rest and peace steal over the features
like the mercifui moonlight over DESC
late landscape: So
1.-The ,guano is a fine bird, but great
care is necessary in rearing it. 1t should
- t-I l.
later than September. In the winter ii
should be kept in warm place. where
it can hatch out its young.
at is evident that we are to have q
backward season for grain. Therefore,
it will be well for the farmers to begin
setting out his corn-stalks and planting
his backwheat cakes in July instead of
August.
Concerning the pumpkin-This ber-
ry is a fayorite with the natives of the
interior of New England, who prefer it
to the gooseberry for the making of Iruit
cake, and who likewise give it the pref
erence over the raspberry for feeding
COWS, as being more filling and fully as
satisfying. The pumpkin is the only
esculent of the orange family that will
thrive in the North, except the gourd
and one or two varieties of the squash.
But the cusGom VI planIlng IL IN the
trout yard with the shrubbery is fast
going out of vogue, for it is now gener-
ally conceded that the pumpkin, as a
shade tree, Is q failure.
Now, as the warm weather ap-
proaches, and the ganders began to
sDaWn-" 49,
The excited listener sprang toward me
to shake hands, and said:
There, there-that will do! I know
1 am all right now, because you have
read it just as did, word for word.
But, stranger, when 1 first read it this
morning, said to myself, never, new
er believed it before, Notwithstanding
NV friends kent me under watch SO