The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1870-10-27

-DEClpEDLf NON LOMMlTTAL.-Olu
Lady---"Can you tell me, my good
man, where can find Mr. Jones ?"
Pat-"Sure, ma'an, expect it would
be at his house We would find him."
Lady-"Does he live anywhere in
the street here p
Pat-"Snre, no, indade; it's not for
the likes of him to be living in the
street at ALL"
Laly-"You stupid fellow, l mean
what number does he stop at ?"
Pat--"Now, ma'am, you have me;
he has six boys and four girls already
but whether he names to stop at that
that number
Lady-"O, you blockhead" tx.
it Old Lady, in tremor Of indiyna-
ton
Young man, do you believe in a
future state ~
"In course I does, and what's more,
l intend t3enter it as soon us Betsey
gets her wedding things ready"
you mistake me. Do you believe
IN future state of rewards and pun.
ishmcnts "
Most assuredly. If I should cut
mugs at q rcdheadcd woman, l should
expect my hat indented by the first cis
tern pole she could lay her hand on"
SO to, young man; you are incor
rigibe. Go to-
$50 to? If it wasn't Cor that law
agin bigamy, darned if wouldn't go
a dozen. But who supposed, Deacon,
that man of your years would give
such aivicc to pussin just starting
in life"
This rather took the deacon down.
-CoULpN'r SEE THE NEED.-The
worthy gentleman who rules the rising
generation of BOYS in Il certain town in
Tennessee, had occasion, recently, to
correct little boy named Johnny.
Now, johnny had what's called 'sulks,'.
because he was whipped, and in order
to convince linn that he was justly and
necessarily punished, his teacher had
recourse to tue following argument:
"Well, johnny, suppose you were
riding big horse to water, and had
taken switch in your hand, and all at
once the horse were to stop and refuse
to go further, what would you do 7"
Johnny stifled up sobs for moment
and looking up through his tears in.
nocently replied
sid cluck to him, sir"
But, johnny. suppose he wouldn't
80 for your clucking, what thenI'
I'D get down and lead him, SIR"
"And what if he were obstinate, and
wouldn't let You lead him ?"
"Why. Id take Off his brille and
turn him loose, and walk home, sir"
You may go and take your seat,
johnny
johnny could not be made to see the
necessity of using the switch.
-PRoFITABLE HOUSEKEEPING -"Who
has bought the handsome saddle,
John!" inquired saddle and harness
maker, some time ago, of his foreman,
upon coming into the shop and finding
that a very handsome new saddle had
disap. feared.
Indeed, / cannot tel who it was,
and the wors. of it is, it has not been
paid for. l was very busy this morn
ing, when gentleman came in, asked
The price oft, told me to charge it to
his account, threw it into his vehicle,
and drove off before ] could ascertain
his name. l am sure, however, he is
one of our customers, for he has fire.
quently bought articles here before"
That's rather puzzling case, real.
ly,' said the master, scratching his
mead, land some mode must be devised
to find out the purchaser, and get the
pay for the saddle. Ay. have 1t,
John! Charge every one Of our Gus
: toners, who have accounts open, with
] the saddle; those who didn't get it
:, will, of course, refuse to pay, and 10
l that way We shall reach the right one"
II John did AZ be was ordered. A few
+, weeks after Christmas bills had been
sent out, and the foreman was interro-
gated as to whether he had succeeded
in finding outthe purchaser.
ut Is impossible TO say, SIR" be 81
,wered, "for about forty have paid n
without saying word"