Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1870-11-25
SWEETS OF MARRIED LIFE.

SWEETS OF MARRIED LIFE.
Marriage. which most girls consider
the sole aim of their existence and the
enc of all their anxieties, IS often the be
ginning of a set of troubles which none
among them expect, and which, when
they come, very few accept with the dig
nity of patience or the reasonableness OF
common sense. Hitherto, the man has
been the suitor, the wooer; it has been
his meter to make love, to utter extrava
giant passions, to talk poetry and romance
of an eminently unwearable kind, and to
swear that feelings which by the very ma
/ ture of things It IS impossible to MAINTAIN
at their present state of fever heat will be
as lasting as life itsslf, ana never know
subsidence or diminution. And girls
/ believe all that their lovers tell them.
They believe in the absorption of the
j mans S whole life in the love which at
1 the most cannot be more than part OF
/ his life they believe that things viii go
/ on for ever as they have begun, and
/ that the fire and fever of passion will
never cool down to the more manage
I able warmth of friendship. And in this
/ belief of theirs lies the rock on which
not few make such pItiful shipwreck
of their married happiness. They ex-
I pect their husbands to remain always
/ lovers. Not lovers only in the best sense,
which of course all happy husbands are
/ to the end of time, but lovers as IN the
old fond, foolish, counting days. They
! expect a continuance of the romance,
/ the poetry, the eXaggeraton, the betzze
/ SONS, the microscopic attentions, the alb
sorption of thought and interest, the
Capitalization of happiness IN her socle-
| tv, lust as in the days when she was still
to be won, or, little later, when, being
won, she was new in the wearing. And
as we said before, a wife's first trial, and
her greatest, IS when her husband be-
gins to leave off this kind of fervid love
making, and settles down into the tranquil
| friend instead.
1t is in the nature of most women to
REQUIRE continual assuranees,.just as it IS
with children and very few believe in q
| love which is not frequently expressed
while the ability to trust in the vita
warmth of an affection that has lost its
early feverishness is the mark of higher
wisdom than most of them possess. Ic
make them thoroughly happy a mar
must be always at their feet; and they
are Jealous of verything-eyen OF hi:
worl-that takes him away from, or give;
him occasion for thought and interes
outside themselves. They are rarely tC
rise to the height of married friendship
and if they belong to retlcent anC
quiet going mana man who says .
love YOU once for all, and then con
tents himself with living life of Loyalty
and kindness, and not talking about i
they fret at what they call his Coldness
and feel themselves shorn of half thei
glory and more than half their dues
They. refuse to believe in that which i
not daily repeated they want the in
cense of flattery, the excitement of love
making; and if these desires are not Il
.. be ministered to by their husbands, tn,
danger is that they will get some on,
! else TO understand" them, and feed tn
sentimentality which dies of inanition il
the quiet serenity of home. Moonlights
and a boquet of the earliest flowers care
: fully arranged and tenderly presented
: and the changing lights on the noun
: tain tops, and the exquisite song of tn
nightingale at two o'clock in the morn
inc. and all the rest of those vague an
suggestive delights which once made tn
: meeting places of souls, and Furnished
occasion for delicious rawlings, .becom
by time and use, and the wearing real
e tiles of business, and the crowding pres
r sure of anxieties, Puerile and annoyin
: to the ordinary Englishman, who is nc
3 a poet bv nature when all the worl
! was young" by reason of his ow
. youth, and the fever of the Iove-makin
! time was on him, he was quite as roman
i tic as his wife. But now he is soberin
n down; life is fast becoming q very prosai
= thing to him work IS taking the plac
$ of pleasure, ambition of romance h
e pooh-poohs her fond remembrances {
: bygone folhes, and prefers his pipe /
the warm library to station by the ope
{ window, watching the sunset because
If looks as it did on that evening, an
/ shivering with incipient catarrh. All th
: is very dreadful to her; women, III
:, fortunately for themselves, remainin
= young and keeping hold much longe
than men do.
The first detection of this kind is
pang the young wife never forgets; bl
She has many more, and yet more bite
~ ones, when the detection takes a person
al shape, and some petty little attentio
IS carelessly received without its due n
: ward of loving thanks. Perhaps SON
q usual form of caress is omitted in tt
hurry of the mornings work, or SON
gloomy anticipation of professions
trouble makes him oblivious of her pre-
ence, or, fretted by her importunate a
: tentions, he buries himself in a boo
a, more to escape being spoken to than f
y the books own merits. Many a woma
.p has gone into her room and had "goC
cry''7 because her husband called her [
her baptismal name, and not by son
absurd nickname invented in the da,
of their folly; or because pressed
time, he hurried out of the house witho
-v going through the established formula
q leave-talzing. The lover has merged
q the husband security has taken Il
l. place of wooing and the woman do
= not take kindly to the transformatio
ID Sometimes she plays a dangerous gam
m and tries what flirting with other m,
- will do. If the husband is not ma,
jealous, she is revolted, and holds he
self that hardly used being, a neglect,
- wife. She cannot accept as a comp
ment the quiet trust which certain coz
, headed men of loyal kind place in tht
wives and his tolerance of her firth
a q, manner-which he takes to be mann
ID only, with no evil in it, and with whic
"a though he may not especially like it,
n does not interfere-seems to her indifft
lg, ence rather than tolerance Yet the co
or hdence implied in this forbearance is
OF point OF fact a compliment worth all t
n n 'etiks Soi'lS ever invented, though Il
IS hearty faith is just the thing which a
q noys her, and which she stigmatizes
. neglect. II she were to go far enou
II - Il