The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1870-07-29

A poor man being i'll, on being ask
ed by . gentleman whether be had
taken any remedy, replied, mo, l
ain't taken any remedy, but I've ia :
ken lots of physic."
A western editor who found a case
Of homeopathic medicine, has set up
rs doctor, and offers to physic OF
bleed ut the usual rates, ten cents q
line, first insertion.
Wisconsin cheese factories make a
brand Of cheese called Truth. We
shonld think it would have a good run
and it doubtless will, rs truth is
'mitey' and will prevail.
A Maine doctor, applying for pc.
sition as examiner Of life insura nee
company, replied to the question az
to tbs system on which lie practiccd 4:
ION the human system.
A Pittsburgh paper has long arti-
Gle headed, "Csn Women Fight"
We know Of one who can, if We may
judge from the chronic black eye
which her husband wears.
A prosperous revival in Wiscon-
sin town was dcmoralized and broken
up BY the conversion Of two lawyers
and ore editor. The good people
couldn't stand all that at once.
A Missionary to the Feejee Islands
recently sang to bis congregation the
beautiful hymn beginning, "Iwant to
be an Angel" No effort was spared
on the part Of the people to aid him
in the matter.
An old merchant once instructed
his clerks as follows: when man
comes into the store and talks of his
honesty, watch him; if he talks OF
his wealth, don't try to sell him; if
he talks Of his religion, don't trust
him dollar.'
An English writer thinks the Nm err
lean early potatoes will come to an
end ere long, for as each new variety
is claimed to ripen about ten days
earlier than any other. the time be-
tween planting and digging will soon
be used up.
In Boston theatre recently, a
subscription was passed about to pur-
chase silver cup for retiring Gus
toner. On applying to well-known
actor, be refused, saying, "I've no
objection to your cupping Mr.. p,
but you can't bleed me.
THIS is called Colorado romance:
Seven miners exploring the mountains
found an enormous chunk Of gold. -
They fought for its possession till all
were killed but one. 1t was too
heavy for him to carry off. so he sat
down beside it and starved to death.
As . proof of the fact that girls
are useful articles, and that the
world could not very we'll get along
without them, a late writer states it
as a fact that if all the girls were
driven out Of the world in one gener-
alton, the boys would all 60 out after
them.
a clergyman remarked over the
grave Of a tricky politician, who was
never known to do anything without
some sinister purpose, that it ''would
be q great consolation to lis friends
if they could have ascertained his
motive in thus suddenly leaving
them"
ITO the parent whose son dies in
infancy" says the Louisville Couri.
er-Journal, ''tbere must be something
peculiarly soothing in the thought
that, no matter what may be the fat.
of the child in tho uext world, it car
never become member Of q has,
ball club in this
Several years ago a young man il
West Rutland, Vt, bought a quarry
in that town. in which q supply O
stone had been discovered ada pied t.
the manufacture of slate-pencils. HI
paid one hundred dollars for his pur
chase; at present tho quarry is valued
at three hundred thousand dollars.
The brayest man in Maine dwell.
ut Belfast. With garden hoe he
laid extinct four of the very stronges,
enemies it is possible to imagine
He now outranks everything, and has
been obliged to procure an entirely
new uniform.
A Pennsylvania woman sent all he,
hard earnings to her husband, in q
neighboring city, for months. that he
might obtain and furnish house. -
Last week she sought him, and found
no had just eloped with another wo.
man.
The burning of Jail in Gougc-eye
Gulch, Nevada, recently compelled
the removal Of the the prisoners te
Bobtailed Grizzly.
Pious youths, On their way to Sun.
day school, in San Francisco, think
it hard that the police won't let them
stone Cinnamon.
A young man at St. Louis neatly
amputatcd bis head with razor,
lately, as remedy for the jim jams.
IL was cfectual.
A New Orleans officer, to iutimi.
date thief, fred in the air and sue.
ceeded in bringing down an innoccn,