Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-08-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMs.


universe.
FLowERs that are always falling Off
Bachelors buttons.
body drinks It?
A MAXIM for the salad season: Two
heads are better than one.
IT is said that the connecting link be-
tween the animal and vegetable is hash.
EVERY member of the Washington Life
Insurance Company is interested In its
success
A GOOD kick out of doors, to some, is
better than all the rich uncles in the
world.
AMERICANS are said to be the greatest
wearers of gloves of any nation in the
world.
A Boston saloon displays card on
which is, mo religious discussions allow
ed here"
TIE policies of the Washington are
raid within sixty days after receipt of
proofs of death.
"VAcUUM CURE" is the happy name
placed upon the door of boarding house
in Boston.
A LECTURER in New York is instruct
ing people how to distinguish mad dog.
A bite is a good indication.
IT turns out that the woman who hasn't
spoken to her husband for twenty years
never had one to speak to-.
In Hebron, on the graVestonc of Mrs.
Buel, is this peculiar verse:
Dear as thou art and justly dear,
we VIII not weep for thee.
One thong ht shsli check the falling tear.
IL Is that an free"
a WRITER says in a note accompanying
n lpttnr for y,1tbIicottn, 4ba
CouTieT-JourRdl!' al sumtimes misspell
word, and it is possible have spelt sica-
fant rong.
"IF l should be drowned in this Storm"
said soldier named Underwood, TO the
captain of the ship, "could you get me
up an epitaph?' p " Yes, I'd suggest this
Here lies, escaped from blood and slaughter,
once Underwood, now under water"
JIMMY, my boy, take these eggs 10 the
store, and II you can't get quarter bring
them back. The boy went as directed, and
came back, saying. Father, it takes me
to make trade. They all wanted them
for 40 cents, but screwed them down to
%"
A MAN, slightly pretentious, fond of
display, and somewhat ignorant, recently
called the attention of some visitors to a
snowy carpet on one Of his apartments,
with the remark, There, gentlemen, that
is one OF the best carpets Mr.. Brussels
erer made !"
A JOURNALIST has been sojourning for
fortnight In the White Mountains, aud
says that he has enjoyed himself very
much, having fallen into six rivers,
sprained his ankle, skinned his face and
Leck, and broken three ribs the first nine
DAYS.
VISITOR. "Wen, George, and what do
you mean to be when you have grown
up" George (promptly). "An artist !"
visitor. well, then, you shall paint my
portrait" George. "Ahl but mean to
paint pretty things"
Word was sent to the City.Marshal of
Augusta that fellow was selling hckers
from wagon IN Market Square. He went
to arrest him and confiscate his stock, and
found himself the victim of an atrocioUs
pun. The man was peddling horse WAips!
SAID a distinguished politician to his
son: Look az me began as an Alder |
man, and here am at the top Of the tree !
and what is my reward ? Why, when l I
die my son will be the greatest rascal in |
the United States" To this the young
hopeful replied; ayes, dad, when you |
die, but not till then"
A PoMPoUs individual walked up to |
the office of the Stockton House, Cape !
May, one day recently, and with CON |
siderable flourish, signed the book, and |
exclaimed, "I'm Lieutenant Governor of !
-" THAT don't make any difference"
says the polite clerk, "you will be treated !
just as well as the others"
A PHOTOGRAPH room isn't a good !
place to sulk in. A short time since
boy employed as assistant at Erie, got his |
dander up because he couldn't have a |
holiday, and leaned against the dOoTpost |
in brown study. The photographer is |
q quiet joker, and instead of berating the |
boy, he slyly adjusted the lens, took a |
negative, ana the next day presented the |
youth with a copy Of the most hfelike |
sulkiness ever seen.
A FOOL, a barber, and a bald headed |
man were travelling together. Losing |
their way, they were forced to sleep in |
the open air, and to avert danger, it was |
agreed to watch by turns. The lot first
fell on the barber, who, for amusement, |
shaved the FOOLS head while he was sleep |
ing. He then awoke him, and the fool, |
raising his hand TO scratch his head, ex- |
claimed, Here's pretty mistake; you
have awakened the bald-headed man in
stead of me-"
A NEW story OF hotel charges A visitor
btNS9SN WV NoJo az LdlANuS lOIcl al !
Chantilly, and then called for his bill. At
sight of the sum charged he was furious.
"a hundred and ten fra. ss for two |
daysp he exclaimed; "a hundred and /
ten francs for two or three bad dinners
and two wretched nights passed in bed |
full of bugs!" Howl Were there
bedbugs?" said the hotel keeper in de- /
light, "and was going TO forget them.
Give me the bill" The traveller handed |
back the bill to the landlord, who added:
Bedbugs gs,,'..,.,.,...,......,.. 2 francs,
A USEFUL CRoP.--A New Zealand
paper tells the following story; 1t is
reatedsthat visitor TO Scotch Taieri !
farmer, the other day, asked, as they |
looked upon field of wheat sown upon |
ground occupied by oats last year,
whit crop do you call thatg"
"Weel," said the Scot, scratching his
grey pow, 81 dinna ken what TO make |
cd exactly; if wheats dear an oats
cheap, think I'll cad wheat, an if oats |
Is dear an wheat cheap, III just cad
oats"
"A subscription was lately opened to
purchase crown for the King of Italy, |
who, it appears, has no such article in the |
royal wardrobe. The list was soon full, |
when the king sent for the chief movers |
In the mstter, and thanking them in right
kingly fashion, begged them 10 employ
the money to found an asylum for the |
blind in Florence, which viii be done. |
"The Kings Crown Is the appropriate |
name suggested for the building.