Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1870-02-10
LONG ENGAGEMENTS.

OF Lens engagements, you will find that
they will shake their heads steadily and At
once pronounce an unequivocal verdict OF
diyspproha,ion. Like the celebrated CO.
loz;L Judge, they are perhaps not 80 happy
in their augmentation az in their decision,
but they fall back upon their verdict as
characterized by the most impregnabie
wisdom. Ifyou come to investigate their
reasons they candidly avow themselves
empires; their opinion il merely gen.
eyaliution Of limited individual expert
en- ,es. 1t will be found, however, that the
British mothers reasons generally resolve
themselves into two; first, they say that
If an engagement Is indefinitely prolonged
the daughters health Is apt TO suffer very
greatly and next they say that the long
engagement has an inherent tendency TO
disfntegration it is apt TO resolve and
come to nothing The subject is matter
of considerable practical importance, and
may repay an attempt at elucidation.
OF course extreme instances are TO be
avoided. But these instances should be
avoided both on the one side or on the
other. Sometimes very brief Is worse
than a very long engagement. Most peo-
pie have heard Ia their time some queer
stories Of very short engagements re-
member the case Of q gentleman who was
going out as missionary. ! DO not think
that he was going al Jresco among the
savages, but rather, l should think, To
some district where Europeans can live
very comfortably despite the surrounding
prevalent heathenism. i believe that 1t Il
an understood principle, for reasons easily
ineligible, that missionary is best mar
Yied. This gentleman had neg lected, how
ever, to the very last, TO provide himself
with such necessary adjunct to his labors
He was taking tea with nice family, and
he announced that he had to depart for
the East the day after the morrow, and
also the unsatisfactory state Of hispersonal
arrangements. A young lady who was
present rather liked him as an individual
and greatly sympathized with him as
missionary. The result, which may be
stated in an abridged form, simply was
that the young lady who saw him one day
married him the next, and sailed away
with him to India on the third. We do
not wish TO bode i'll for this interesting
young COUPE, but we are sure that terrific
paper might be written on hasty marriages.
Now let me give case in point on the
other side Of the question. Several long
engagements Of a truly venerable charac-
ter have come to my knowledge. There
was q man in Australia who was engaged
to a lady in England for twenty years.
The lady pleaded that she could not leave
her mother. / wonder, by the way,
whetlng. she had ever asked her mother.
al lot sure that young ladies always
fully understand their mothers on these
points. The gentleman allowed the plea,
and languid, semi Platonic correspond.
ence went on. One fine morning the
gentleman was surprised by letter from
his ancient friend, informing him that her
mother was now departed this life and
that she was ready to come out and marry
him. This was rather serious demand
to make upon middle-aged man while
cracking his egg at breakfast. But he
considered that he had given his accept
ance, and did not fail to honor the draft
In the most business.like way.
Here is another case of q quGH long en-.
papement character. A clergyman was
walking in q beautiful park to note q
famous castle and the surrounding land
scapc. At q sudden turn Of the walk he
met lady, whose face, though somewhat
changed by time, he remembered well. It
was that Of lady to whom the parson
had been engaged twenty years before.
They had loved each other greatly then,
but, according TO their notions Of living,
there did not appear the most forlorn
chance of union. Under these circum-
stances the lovers agreed that they would
postpone matters Indefinitely, and that
each should be considered at liberty.
The lady went out to India as q specula-
ton, and dropped into good thing. The
.t,,nL NTH VNartiu0 rttv hio
curacy, and remained on the same spot for
the whole twenty years, Then, after such
a long parting, they at last met again, In
this accidental way, in the great show
park. She was widow, with an only
child. rich, and was handsome still. Walk.
ing slowly beneath the swinging chestnut
old times. And then the parson
said that he proposed to forge
those past twenty years. TO erase them
AZ II they had never been, and to re
vert once more to the old days Of thei
engagement. And the lady sa{d, In milt
phrases meaning much, that she had NJ
objection. And the long engagement re
vived in the form of very short one.
It may be said that we are looking upol
the subject in an empiric way, citing 1op
posite instances and not laying down
principle 1t would be easy to make ,
wide-sweeping generalization-ifwe coult
emily see our way to It, But the subjec
must be taken in cases, and the cases mus
be decided on their merits. II Is subjec
for that noble science Of casuistry, which
once diligently pursued both by Romans
and Puritan, seems now relegated into tn
region of ethical curiosities. The only
general consent on the subject is tina
adopted by mothers, who look upon lonl
engagements with an ill-disgulsed aver
sion and when they take you into thei
confidence and tell you how vexed an(
anxious they are about their girls, ant
enlarge on that dispiriting hopelessnesa
which il kind of shadow to long engage
ments, It 10 difficult not TO sympsthiz,
with their troubles and be persuaded BY
their rhetoric A great deal Of satire 1
often lavished upon worldly mothers
But in this so-called worldliness goot
mothers are often unworldly and unselfish
They only want to know for certain wha
ID really for the true good of their girls
and they win be sure to dot.
There 10 generally considerabl
amount If nOetic interoGt about a yOuni