Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1870-02-10
Fried Frenchman-A Dinner with the
King of the CannibaI Islands.


Mark Twain in the Buffalo Express.l
Now, as regards those missionaries, "
continued the King, refectively, scratch.
| ing his head with the fork which i had
presented him, and which he had already
learned to use q good deal, though not
always in strictly legitimate way, as
regards those missionaries, will say that
their landing here was unexpected, but l
| FASTENED to give them every projections.
/ And gave them full privilege to teacA
They were the first whites that some of
my people had seen, and of course these
simple natives had a natural curiosity to
experiment upon them could not rea-
sonably deny them this little qualification,
though ccunselled them to practice as
little cruelty upon the strangers as was
compatible with fair desire for informa-
ton and the necessity for wholesome
amusement. They removed Johnsou's 8
ears, and that was thing | regretted se-
riously, until it was explained to me that
great chiefs little sick child desired
them to play with-and if you could have
seen how much more contested and rest
ful the poor young thing was after it. ac-
quired them you would have felt how
blessed thing it is to be able to con-
tribute to the happiness of even little
child"
at was the impulse of generous
heert--it was a spirit of liberality as rare
as it is beautiful. And how did Johnson
like it?'
."Oh, johnson said it was the will of
God. 1t was like johnson to say that.
Bot the missionaries were right we'll
treated on the whole. The natives tried
various interesting experiments upon
them, such as scorching them, and scalp
ing them, and all that sort of thing, and
killed one of them myself; not in
malice, but because | had curious
caprice to see how he would 90 with
onions He was q failure. Old and
tough. Underdone, my pahine said-a
shade too venerable, said. Give me
pungency and tenderness for combina-
ton. Onions and infancy is my idea of
comfort You people don't know how
to cook. No, as was saying, the Kama
kas experimental q good deal on the
missionaries in the interest of science,
and the experiments were generally fa'
tai, though | urged them not to waste
the missionaries, for we could not know
when we would have another lot. But
among those that survived was Williams,
and it was he that sent home those dam
aging reports to your country, in which
he spoke of the treatment of his brethren
in peevish. fault-fnding spirit, ill-be-
coming his sacred calling. l suppose
your people believed every word of it,
and just jumped to the conclusion that
we were a base, inhospitable race.
Never explained about Johnson's ears,
perhaps 2-never told why / killed that
other fellow 2-confound me, it does seem
to me that some people take pleasure in
incorporating things, and bringing
obloquy upon their fellow-creatures
Sometimes / feel as if had rather be
dead and at rest. The world seems so
shameless in its judgments, and ones
life 10 80 embittered by the malicious
criticisms of those whose hearts are not
in sympathy with him."
st pas pitiful in that Williams after oil
you had done for his party"
II should say sol But never mind,
let's be cheerful, any way. How are you
making out2 Let me help you to fried
plantsin. Take some more of the pup
mol Try some of the human being
By George, this fellow is done to charm,
You'll like him. he was Frenchmsn-
splendid chsp-young, and hale, and
hearty-beautiful to look upon. Do you
prefer white meat or dark7 Let me |
help you to some of the breast Ah, me,
have known this youngster for thirteen |
years-fshed with him, gave couple OF |
nv sisters and four aunts to him. |
loved him. He was always good. He |
is good now"
Taking up fragment of his late
brother-in- law, the King took bite, nd |
then gazed long and pensively upon the |
remainder, till bye-and- bye the muscles |
of his mouth began TO twitch with emo
ton, and presently two or three great
tears swelled from bis eyes and coarsed
down bis cheeks. Then, in choking
voice, he murmered:
y Alss, they have fried him
Ila;d doyn tho breast. bone OF deceased,
and burst into tears slg6. such is the
sympathetic power of grlet. Il vas
nothing whether they fried him or boiled
him: il was nothing to me how this poor
foreigner was cooked; was only eating
hirn out of vain curiosity, and not because
/ loved LIN. not because respected him,
not because wis.sssd to curry favor with
his relatives. Yet wept.
"They have fsind him r said the King.
"Alas, poor Gaultier. However, let Us
cheer up; let Us be content. But will
have my cook for breakfast for this, and
I will fry him, and see how be likes 1t.
There is nothing like q sharp example TO
teach mas, nay friend. Bat don't be
idle. sir; take some aors o. the fried
Frenchman. / ought to be ashamed 70
offer you such dish, but you see how
am situated. BE ought to have been
fellow ought We always
bake Frcnchmau; we never think OF
irving him. But i wish you had known
Ihis felloz--sc kind, so gentle, so loving;
aud you sea ycuTaSr bow tender ne is-
But that Williams business; vigh you
would slrsighteu that up for me ESsn
Won % hack 10 America. IfyoDr people