, 1870-10-02
TIT-BITS,

don't you know? It's your wife" First Mo<-
mon. SO it IL. I thought I had seen her
BEFORE
; Cattle are dumb beasts, bat, BY csstinS
together in large numbers, they make them
selves herd.
"A ridiculous story is going the rourds ct
the country that Mrs. BerKh had young
woman arrested the ot1er day foz beating Al
tgg.
~Io rural town not dlty miles from Provi-
dence. Il. l., An elderly gentleman died. and
lef, somewhat eccentric wife. The parish
clergy man. in pursuance Of his duty, called
On the beseayed wife shortly after her hus-
s,ld that the deeessed WAS "now freed FROM
ali the ills that tlesh il heir to- u Umph,"
replied the borrowing wife, there want
much flesh to hlu; Ill skin and bone!'
"A few days since woman walking in
was attracted BY beautiful Scotch granite
monument which stands in marble yarL Sha
asked, "whAt il it resllss" The proprietor
told her that it was granite monument
''Shu1e," she said, II thought It waa Sausage
Iaate in l. glass case!"
Ono Parisisn to another; :. W wife Is hsN
dead At the idea Of q sieGe-" - Courage. my
fri:pd, ;" Wa the reply, in this world ons =
never COMP. tey h.ppy -
Why is 4 SICKLE Ike IN ayeraions Bscause
il goes sgair at the g1aia.
Miners nEe not always nnhsppy, although
] thei7 hopes are always IN veln-
] They tell OF foundryman IN Now Or
! lea, who is 10 pious that hs Will onlS mako
| eMWhen is water moat liable to osca1s7
I Wlcu it il OILY half tide
80 ANY thing to please the child, as tho
! nurse eaid when ehe let the baby crawl out X
Dan Illinois husband 1aments tho loss of
several bushels Of apples, shaken premature
" from the ttee Oh Which his "uo nons
l lerself-
1nolosist, s.tllat it is the female mosquito tDat
| ;otnelts u.s." 4 bachelor BAYS that 1t Is hot
| 1t all curiuIs.
X a TroE German, in tying t. TO- reach M The he
I 1errv-boat fell into the water His hrst e1-
elsma,ion on beicg hauled out wAs. - Nina
= ,;ott, let's hsye pridGe! -,.
) "A lady onca asked gentleman What VT
/ vas like. To which LIE replied, H4ke yoor
!asah.s bottle o. "a. San taa 3ne saoased
9 | about, it loses all its favor ano becomes IN
; eipid."
j When Paris wss found to be too tight
Q place for the Bank Of France, the oanx WAa
{ iaken TO another plaea.Ioulouse. ,
i -"I hope this hand is not counfetteit,
said love-, 50 he was toying With h1s saees-
!, heart's fingers. 1.-The best way to ind ous Is
! 10 ring it," VISA the nett reply.
1t a disreputable scamp dessnnsa~ ne, NJ R.;nT no
Is s.ked Why he 70 spoke Of him, ne sain, be-
It ra,,se he teft me nothirg in his % will"
n Teacher: .sLook here, Johnny, sapposA
you bad twenty sugar'pioms, snI YOU a@t:sa -
T. 10 divide them into four parts; You give 9ve
would YOU do with the other ten?" Scholar
aB Stat 'eu."
i 4 woman !. ss1se..ns G 8n ~" ns,s % ont af tha
th window. aud asked nm u ne ~ouloh paoase pas
u. keep his bead in. as she had new stk a1es4s
he On, and didn't want it al spattcted ap ~asn
.aa braius and such stuff .... -
"A Doeton woman said she wo1la 20 ~.
'an a. thing 10 make her hneband hsppy, ana ns sna
IN next day she took dosa OF iaou1uut; III r.. =.
,rs ns neSer enjoyed funeral go much in h's life
in a German banker Of New Rochelle got q O.
led the lightning TRIM which didn't SOP ~ W ~
em nlace, and Jumped OF while the tian ~ We u !:
tbe t1y, in the air. The undeFtaksf sa1a
not wsa moral imposibihty to make hHnd dsom
:om cornss of him, IS he seemed to spread aeooa
re. 70.
hin ,7 H. ainnsf hnshM Muan =. ensn;t suicide
,ro,1d - shnr 10Th held their ,ksata undt
eds, mome n,;i ~ M ths b,,sh,nJ uas dcs HI Il
,pel ,,s,,.,,,. a+,s-cl annnd "a do]Inrakail Il
AA@A fun+ raj expenses, and married naVn III ~
and 'secks, How that poor drowned @s2 ~ T.
d in feel nov About tne inconsistency " -
; at sef' l.as c.,I eSe. mus: ,, , -o., &
'cs,- plearcd on being reptoycd " US mstssk !
.p,n 'I3n pleasure in lna lace, when his uaothf :
marked; wh{ cat :. ,4 An mo,Ssc:s IL
ZAP ! liz t,;shtene1. up at once, and rstoftssa
,tt 't's. ..wty. tried to laugh; butt n.nEs,
to face slipped"
4 He NAu cid agricultural tSboret IN EnSl7r
LIE red n1.enl.r me'hod st essngs!'11ha Ss r.
. re- sbonid Sn reuiic3: Fl dunaox on -. sir !;
on faSeo ep,'er EN- NJ down to pray night and mnrrt,
,,,' an and when they WON'T 60 doSn I knocks e
;ood "ybx dos nrrttv cifl need no miro
BY rs.,nas .hs il raod.iookine (g}lass ht
1red .s,f @o " " o0@
lore. Tho ladies' complain that they arc 2
! Al ,r,.e cene,,atakerv. sad arc told In couBu
IT., t;cn that tier make the ceusus possible
! '.ns1 ~. An Irish lad complained the other daJ
enSe- ta,1,er. he trates me- said he, rnouruf
ants IS, ''as il was his son By another father
,.saal aua mother
.euse NEnfus Cboats,z uauch quoted phr1
fher' :. There is uothiuc like = book refers,
Eses- 3onhf 10 il ,ricSs secured, and the aca
peo, trumps II hand, 1t wi.iat.
There have been many ceunI!tons VI
AZ tor ,an,3cm.n INIT the nrcttiest zud 4,
ehur6 | ;~an 3rr rnnnr l,lv
e1s4s lining a womGn'4 tenderness WILL III
:, ~. Ma csse OF aIfbi: rlaia-spoken dnctc
:rease =. Tho rh;IS.s nnisnnei- m.,aE,-you're b
70 TUG ;,r1r,.int- il to death. that's au!" Mamma
eosisfr4enBless The man, Low he tai
lug WI'y. I haven't seen the child FOR more
Idint- Heeti How couId drug It - r~'-~
% DIES n,,;nr th, 1apv French vef two OLE
oloet. ~ ctsms,ar xare roinr. 10 the Kirk;
- II | a Lii r., thn otl,nr Was Il not = won
y ~ une .s;nt, ths1 t,s Hraetixh were ago vict
~ 1a ~, 'n liz French IN battle !" Not
N.i o.a .;,, "a nthar old Iaily: "dinua ya ken
;,... i,n.t;"t .rn sar thair praycrs before 6
,ar.r 49,, i.tf,c = The other replied, - Butca
N.tHr ,ba Frnnch eay their prayers al wae4?"
c-isr ran1r wss mos, charactai1stic: *Hoot,
v,ws lsfinr Loliee. Who could understata tleu
~ so" " vsr,;nr 10 Fntor Hugo-The o.
!, ,us Sa.,- o,t,;ro oH4he .uuuty az gas in paris-
:, INV, x1tsr i, L,pUi,,et,A eeta Il down Il
: t1.,I .1;,, m fhat man viii hSht for his dog
o,a ;ii nat risk n. person Tor his religion, pro
! so,,o ~ ~ ~arxrnn,.nt.
iltaoss W. sh,wdee. recently returned I
a'eHs. | rr,;s ~ .cco,,nt Of the interruption
. pso 10y g., VI .ta r,,,,tnent by The war, is IA
,.,a,e.,;.,, ~ certn,n class Of travellers
\, y. ,uS mssts viii troad. Being congratulated
y ana meets "..a ,,e tr;nLe,n she e1hblreI to
cen ~ tne mauy ty5a eols ah, rsm,rked !. III, but
20 tneH mn1g Ien. a,..I Hua r;,.ters tbat nte COT
ces.ioh bouent sons sta.n..r sni su.h bc-ut
lnd the nome ~ Ky s[,,r ni.t1,rs. lan,iscap,
lowers. iFaues. dss suo1 1;Pe;.a1. P !. Ia1Iisca
inquired one " ~ :aaea|t ther ara lie I
s!ne'eS'4n'''1 NV
In {. s.r,,oo~ of Williams Col
1o. IaHens .t ;.I'''n;us. Il va. custo.nsl
~ ses ~ ..s nf The Sex England parish
| sAo I1AA. ~ :. III ~, dal.a,nent mel