The Sweetwater enterprise. (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1869-187?, 1870-03-24
Fun and Other Things.

Why are ladies juster than men Be
cause they are the fairer sex.
A Southern beauty is said to possess
hair like "a vozed mass of golden feath-
ers."
'lt is very curious" said young lady
"that tortoise, from whom we get all our
combs, has no hair"
A rascally old bachelor asks. "What
is the most difficult operation surgeoa
can perform 2" To take the jaws out of
woman. s
Sam Sodger once observed to q LADY,
"How desirable it is, in danger, to ha. .
presence of mind" eyes," she quickly
replied, "but l would rather have absense
of body"
81 wish twas the fashion to go to bed
every hour in the twenty-four," said an
indoleut person. 81 like that frst-rate {;
but the fashion of getting up is the mean
est ever invented"
A physician, in speaking of the frail
constitution of the women of the present
day, remarked that we ought to take great
care Of our grandmothers, for we should
never get any more.
Everybody knows what "aoro8tiok"
means; but namby-pamby poets do not
know what a-crOss-stick an editor can be
when he has to read bushels of such nom
sense.
A Nevada city merchant advertises
"Old rags of greenish hue, embellished
with Chase's photographs, cheerfully ac-
cepted in payment for stock"
Always turn your toes outward, and
your thoughts inward; the first will keep
from falling into the gutter, and the last
from falling into iniquity.
A young lady went to photograph ar
tist recently and wished him to take her
picture with an expression as if composing
a poem.
A man tired of marrying six wives, on
being asked how he could be such hard
ened william, as to delude so many, replied
with great nonchalance. "Why please
your worship, was trying to get good
one."
"Waiter I'll take my hat" said a gen.
tleman at a ball one evening, as he was
about going home. "What kind of hat
is it, sirW ga bran new one that I
bought this morning" "Well, sir" said
the waiter, call the good hats have been
gone for more than two hours"
Mark Twain thinks that soda-wator is
not reliable for steady drink. it is too
gassy. The next morning, after drinking
thirty-eight bottles, he found himself full
of gass and, as tight as a balloon. He
hadn't an article of clothing he could wear,
except an umbrella.
IN man brought before a justice of the
peace, charged with some petty crime,
pleaded in.extenuation natural infrmi-
ty.S'I would have made considerable of
figure in the world, judge" said he, elf
[ hadn't been fool it's q dreadful draw
DacR Oh man.
In this will be found the words of Low
er's popular songs, and these without
doubt will be the most acceptable part of
the collection. The author, in his preface,
says: 81 fear there are many among
them unable to bear the test of strict
criticism. ..........
A story is told of soldier in the army
whose only fault was that of drunkenness.
His Colonel demonstrated with him.
"Tom, you are bold fellow and good
soldier, but you get drunk"
"Colonel," replied Tom, chow can you
expect all the virtues of human charac-
ter combined, for sixteen dollars month";"
Goethe was in company with mother
and daughter, when the latter, being re-'
proved for something, blushed and burst
into tears. He said to the mother-"How
beautiful your reproach has made your
daughter. That crimson hue and those
silvery tears become her much better than
any ornament of gold or pearls those may
be hung on the neck of any woman; those
are ever seen connected with moral purity.
A full-blown flower sprinkled with purest
hue is not SO beautiful as this child blush
ing beneath her parents displeasure, and
shedding tears of sorrow for her fault. A
blush is sign which nature hangs out to
show where chastity and honor dwell"
A gentleman in Alabama, in exerting
himself one day felt sudden pain, and
fearing his internal machinery had been
thrown out of gear, sent for negro on
his plsntation, who made some pretensions
to midical skill, to prescribe for him. The
negro, having investigated the cause, pre-
pared and administered a dose to his pa
tient, with the utmost confidence of a
speedy cure. No relief being experience
ed, however, the gentleman sent for
physician who on arriving inquired of the
negro what medicine he had given his
master. Bob promptly responded III
"Resin and alum, sir ~
"What did you give them for!" contin-
tinued the doctor.
"Why," replied Bob, " de alum to draw