Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1870-05-29
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
Marriage.

| Marriage is fair transaction on tn
face ov itS
But there liz quite too often put-up job
| in it.
1t is an old institushun, older than thu
pyramids, and az phull ov hyroglipie,
that nothing parse. q
History holds its tongues who the pah
waz who first put on the silken harness
and promised to work kind in it, thru
thick and thin, up hill and down, and on
the level, rain or shine, survive or perish,
sink or swim, drown or fote. f..,--
But whoever they waz, they must have
made good thing of it, or so menny ov
their posterity would not hav harnessed
up since and drove out.
Thare is CRATE moral grip to marriage;
it IL mortar that holds the sooshul bricks
together.
But there amt but darn few pholks who
put their money in matrimony who could
set down and give good written opinoyun
viii on airth they cum to do it. 57E
This IS crate proof that it liz one oy
them natral kind ov acksidents that must
happen fist az birds fly out ov the nest,
when they have feathers enuff, without
being able tew tell why.
Sum marry forbuty, and never diacover
their mistake; this il lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't see it.
Sum marry for pedigree, and feel big
for six months, and then very sensibly
cum tew the conclusion that pedigree
amt no better than skim milk.
Sum rnorr- thou haua hin
highsted sum where else; this is cross
match, a bay amp sorrel; pride may make
it endurable.
Sum marry for love without a cent in
their pocket, nor friend in the world,
nor drop ov pedigree. This looks des-
perate, but it il the strength of the game.
IT marrying for love amt a success,
then matrimony is dead beet
Sum marry because they think wimmen
viii be scarce next year, and live tew
wonder how the crop holds out.
Sum marry to get rid of themselves,
and discover that the game waz one that
two could play at and neither win. 1
Sum marry the second time to get even,
and find it gambling game-the more
they put down the less they take up.
Sum marry tew be happy, and not find
ing it, wonder where all the happiness
goes to when it dies. .--
Sum marry, they can't tell why, and
live, they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married, and it
is joke joke.
Sum marry in haste, and then sit down
and think it carefully oyer.
Sum think it over careful fust, and then
set down and marry.
Both ways are right, if they hit the
mark. B
sum marry rakes to convert them, This
il little risky, and takes q smart mis-
sionary to do it. "
Sum marry coquetts, This is like buy
ing poor farm heavily mortgaged, and
working the balance of your days to clear
oph the mortgages. ..E.
Married life haz its chances, and this IL
just what gives it irs flavor. Every bod
dy luVs to phool with the chances, be-
kause every boldly expects tew win. But
l am authorized few state that every boldly
don't win.
But after all, married life IL tun az GER
tain az dry goods bizness.
No man can swear exackly where he
will fetch up when he touches calico.
No man can tell jist what calico haz
mad4 up its mind tew do next.
Calico don't kno even herself.
Dry goods oV all kinds IL the child Ov
circumstansis.
Sum never marry, but this IL just ez
risky; he disease IL the same, with
another name to.
The man who stands on the banks
shivering, and dassent, IL more apt tew
ketch cold than him who pitches hiz head
fust into the river,
There IL but few who never marry
bekause they won't-they all banker, and
most ov hem starve with bread before
them (spread on both sides jist for the
lax ov grit.
Marry young IL mi motto.
hey tried il, and l know what am
talking about. ...r... -
If emmy boldly ask yu viii yu got mar
RED Gf it need be,) tell him su don't
reeollekt. ~
Marriage il safe way to gamhle-if
yu win, you win q pile, and if you loze,
yu don't loze emmy thing, only the privi-
lege of living dismally alone and soaking
your own feet.
repeat it in italics, marry yung! .
There il bat one good excuse for mar
rage late IL life, and that ia second
marriage.