Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-10-21
MIsCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A TOOTH becomes relation-when it's
akin.
TIE best thing to give to the poor
employment.
A WoNDERFUL AERIAL PHENOMENON
"A fight of stairs.
"a LASS am no MORE" as the girl said
when she got married.
WHEN Is lot o. corn like corner lot ?
When it's ground.
1T does not follow that the moon has a
dollar because It has four quarters.
THE sting of bee carries conviction
with it. 1t makes man bee.leaver at
once.
II mans aim in this world be good,
the chances are that he will mics fire in
the next.
LARGE butterflies and bugs are now
worn in the hair, made of silver or gold,
a Ia Nilsson.
Our of the total area of Great Britain,
30,336, 900 acres, or 50 per cent, are under
cultivation.
WANT of credit is blessing undisguis-
ed sometimes-for instance, when man
can't even "borrow trouble"
On recent Sunday, the Rev. John
Jones, of Surry county, North Carolina,
aged 81 years, baptized, by immersion,
Harden @. Herring aged SO.
A SIGN at one of the improvised hotels
in Springfield, Mass, reads; "Boreding
by the meel, and loging at awl hours"
A SINGLE oat in Scotland produced ten
stalks, which contained nine hundred
grains, or an average of ninety grains to
the stalk.
THERE are two directly opposite rea-
sons why some men have poor credit
one because they are not known, and the
other because they are known.
THE editor of the Middletown (Conn.)
Cor1stitution, calling attention to an adver-
tisement, says: "See plain statement In
southeast corner of this paper"
"MR SMITHERs, how can you sleep so
The sun has been up these two hours"
"Well, what if it has?" said Smithers.
"He goes to bed at dark, while I'm up
till after midnight"
A CERTAIN doctor asked Spifkins
which he thought was the best way to
die. "Surely," he replied, "you might
have learned that much from your pa
| tients."
THE McCrary farm, in the oil regions
of Pennsy lvanis, is said to have been sold
|
| during the month of August, was 1859
barrels.
THE force of habit We know gentle
man who is so methodical in business
that when he pays compliment to his
wife, he always will insist on taking re-
ceipt
DANIEL PURCELL was desired one night
in company to make pun extempore.
,AaN at1Hf aoN uafh fal
THE king" answered the other. "Oh," !"
said he, "the king is no subject"
FRANCE, though not greater in area
than the State of Texas, produces more
| wheat than the whole United States, the
figures being 350,O00,O00 bushels for
France, and 240,000,000 for the United
States.
II it be wise to insure your property,
the loss of which would fall heavily upon
your family, it is wiser to insure your
life, the loss of which would be q blow
infinitely heavier. Insure in the Mutual
Life Insurance Company of Chicago.
-RRcEIPTT TO CURE LOVE FIT
Tie one end OF a rope fast over a beam,
| And make a slip-noose at t'otner extreme;
| Then Just underneath let cricket be set,
On which let the lover most maniully get;
Over his head let the moose then be got,
And under one ear be we'll settled the knots
Tine cricket kicked down, lei him take fair swing
And leave all the rest of the work to the string.
DICKENS says: II have heard vast quan'
titles of nonsense talked about bad men
not looking you in the face. Don't trust
that conventional idea. Dishonesty will
stare you out of countenance any day in
the week, if there is anything to be goi
by it."
A CAPTAIN in the British navy, meet
ing friend as he landed at Portsmouth
boasted that be had left his whole ships
company the hapPiest fellows in the
world. Glow so ?" asked his friend
why, I have just logged seventeen, and
they are happy it is over and all the
rest are happy that they have escaped"
A DUBUQUE Qowa) jeweler has en-
graved the Lords prayer upon the in
verse side of gold dollar. The Ameri
can Tract Society ought to employ him L
turn out more of these jobs, for it Ii
the only way in which the Lords pray
er can be brought to the notice Of som,
men.
For the benefit of young girls who ar
impatient to put on trained skirts, it MAJ
be stated that the Princess Beatrice
, daughter of Queen Victoria, now nearl,
: 16 years old, has never yet worn anything
> but short dresses, even upon the gram
occasion of drawing room" reception
i when court trains are universal.
a DUBUQUE grocer having had an IN
4 precedented demand for vinegar for seV
I eral days, bottles, mugs, jugs, basins, tes
pots, and other pots, having been cor
:. stantly coming for a supply of the aci
: fluid, was tempted to try its quality fo
himself, when he discovered that he ha
tapped the wrong cask, and sold barre
:. of old Bourbon whisky at ten cents
quart.
t WASHINGTON was the soul of punch
d ality, and required those about him to
punctual. When his private secretar
L upon one occasion excused himself for I'll
n lateness of his appearance, on the groun
that his watch was to blame, his msst'
e quietly said, "then you must get anoth'
d watch, or another secretary"
rs A WESTERN editor improves the occ
sion" presented by the casual descent
ss one of his No. 10 brogans upon an unsu
1t pecting " Colorado" IN the following p
is thetlc strain:
10 zone more potato'bug
De Gone to his rest
q Stepped on 80 tenderly,
~ Cause 1t was best.
Poer little tater.bugl
Smashed to the DUST
In thy prosperity,
Business has bust
A GENTLEMAN dropped a letter in Mel
of phis the other day. A bystander pick
yh Il up and returned it to the owner, sa
)" ing "You have dropped a paper, sir
ly may be valuable" The gentlem
to thanked him, looked at the wanderil
at document, and replied; Valuable n
Ie- at all tits only loVe.letter." Sentiment
'at young ladies can make note OF this.
~ ~ PROF. COCKER, of Michigan Univ
y sity. an Englishman himself, spent t
a. =, summer in the "old country" and te
a. the story that one well.informed pers