Weekly Trinity journal., 1870-01-22
How he Won his wife.
Harry, what will you take for the United
StatesT'

h"i'gi "h"s Will gOu thho ioI tuc 0Hltcu
States p
"Don't want to SELL"
81 thought you did"
whats the matter with me, Conrad?'
"Why your face is a yard long. You look as
though nation was on your hands and you
were anxious to part with it.
You don't treat me well, Conrad. My mind
is not on the nation at large, but only on u sim
gle member of it,"
"Now comprehend you. You refer to Liz
etc. ..
81 do; Conrad you are my bosom friend. To
you come with all my clouds and sunshine.
To you will declare that singular beauty is
preparing me for the mad-house. | cannot sleep
without a powerful soporifc. am distracted
that is among the nuisances. Our cook has tried
her skill and says it is fruitless." .,-...
Can't you find any one who knows her?'
"Thats the trouble. When | have felt indif-
ference for strange face, a dozen mutuals would
appear. Now that am wild for an introduction
not soul can find who knows the attraction. >
" Have you inquired of ---2'
81 have inquired of every person know,
have even gone to that wretched poodle Clar-
ence Elton. His purse and family takes him
everywhere"
"What cid the dem :oin fellah say?'
I" Said he never heard of any Lizette living in
that vicinity" al.
/" How do you know that is her name2'
"Because heard it applied by friend whom
she met in the street."
well, Harry, what are you going to dop'
Love on and wait an introduction" aq
"All very nice where mere friendship is con-
cerned. Love still must learn, is mere impetus
While am waiting some fellow may win her
and ruin me-"
"What other course is left2"
" The very course that entered my head when
you came in"
"What vas thatP'
am tell you. 1t is something rare and racy
but will implore your aid"
I" If the plan is feasible and honorable you
may count me in"
81 thank you from the very centre of my
soul"
"Now for snug little plot to win wife
From the appearance of this girl, she Is one of
the romantic school. 1t strikes me that plain
tame, ordinary way of courtng wouldn't suit
her. She is a rarity that must be wooed in
some extraordinary manner. She is one of the
class who would marry in a balloon, or under
the falls OF Niagara. Then again, she could be
moved by an act Of magnanmity-for instance in
her behalf or a reason"
=" Well, 90 on"
"Now | observe that almost every eve she
trips five squares down the street, and in like
manner, returns at a late hour"
" How late p
81 have seen her trip home at II o'clock.
New here's what want to do. Though two
squares below her, we are on the opposite side
OF the way. This gives us fine chance to watch
her movements. This eve we'l keep our eyes
open, and on her return home, you speak to
her."
"What insult her -
"Not in gross language, but ask permission
10 see her home. BE bold and insist upon it,"
"What then?'
"Why, | will emerge from corner or tree
box, seize you by the the throat, give you
piece Of mind administer a mock chastisement,
and escort her TO the parental roof"
GAS far as you are concerned, that's very
nice but suppose a crowd assemblies would
ever be known as the fellow who insulted the
girl"
Conrad give me credit for brains. Don't
you suppose could provide for all such con-
tingencies2 The matter is easily fixed III hire a
wig, give you mustache and, being something OF
al artist, will paint your nose a deep rum color.
" Hurrah for you, Harry. Now guarantee no
arrest, and III be your right bower" yfr.r
Evening came. Conrad was to watch from the
window while Harry was to,post The police. BY
good luck he found the two officers who met
near the vicinity of the coming event. Fortu-
naiely they were together. .. s...r
"Good evening, Mr.. Miles and Mr.. Bin CHAM. I"
How are you HarryT' responded they.
"Tip top. Gents word. Tonight, near
here, an elegant lady will be accosted By an en-
tire stranger, my own best friend Conrad Morti-
mer. Said Mortimer will be g made up" beyond
recognition, and see that the lady is protected TO
her residence"
"Qute performance" said Mr.. Bingham.
"Very quite. Now, my business here Is to
have you keep out of sight upon this whistle. u
Here he gave a loud and singular whistle
mixture of locomotive and screech owl"
"What is the meaning of this ruse n inquired
Mr.. Miles.
"Simply that take this plan to become ac
quainted with the girl who is tearing my hear
out"
| "But-"
"Don't ask me anything will soon tel
you, and send piece of rye bread whitewashed
| If you keep out OF sight,