The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1870-02-16
ALL SORTS.

with hairpins, and scented with ottaI
of roses and benzine ; the latter tt
kill the natural odor; He is a candi
date for Secretary of State, and is 6
strong one. -. 49, d.
A young lady from the rural dis
tricts went, to Des Moines 70 see the
elephant" In the street cars the
3 conductor said to her 'Miss. roul
fare" "WelI ifIan," replied she,
Il don't want any of your imperti-
nence.' -H u
Almost one of the last political
squibs of the lamented Prentice was
- the following: sit is understood that
Butler would have been a candidate
for the Spanish throne if the crown
Jewels hadn't already been stolen"
An Irishman travelling in a street
that was paved, was startled by q
dog with a threatening growl. The
traveller attempted to pull up one OF
the paving stones to throw at him,
but it was fast. "Arrah," said Pad
.Gdy, "What a fine country is this,
-. where stones are tied and dogs let
loose" ~
A young lady who had recently re-
turned from the country, was asked
Ia by an innocent ~'tsociety" youth, how
she managed to amuse herself during
her absence. She replied that she
70 found no difficulty, and after enumer-
sting various sports, told what CAPT
tai fun she thought fishing was. Up
on this the youth "wished he might
have been caught" He was finally
told that it would have been useless,
as she "was not fishing for suckers
Horace Greeley says: every pa
rent whose son is away from home at
school should furnish him with a home
paper. 1 well remember what a mark
ed difference there was between those
of my schoolmates who had and who
had not newspapers. The former
. were always superior to the latter in
debate, composition and general in
telligence-
A little four-year old miss hearing
a gentleman addressed at her fathers
house as "Joseph" eyed him intently
for while, and then asked, "Was
you the Mr. Joseph that.was sold by
- his brethrenr' "Yes,' replied the
gentleman, 81 have been sold a great
many times, my dear" "Oh! I
was so sorry for you'll said the little
. kindly heart. So ..-r-
a niger in a town in North Caro-
lima was found in a neighbours cab
bage patch, down on his knees. He
3 said it was queer a man couldn't go
mo whar' to pray without being in
terrupted. He was left to his devo-
! tons. and in the morning, singularly
5 2 enough, it was found that he had
prayed off the heads of all of the cab
~ in the garden. "The prayers
of the righteous ayaileth' right smart
of saur kraut.5 =,
A gentleman after having paid his
addresses to a young lady for some
time, popped the question The lady
in. a frightened manner said, you
me sirr" The gentleman did
not wish to frighten the lady, and
consequently remained quiet for some
7Tofime, when she exclaimed, "Scare me
:, again"
ii 7 "Sally," cried a girl, looking down
from the upper story of a grocery
y store, addressing another girl who
was trying to enter at the front door,
"we've all been to camp meeting, and
zoe h4us been concerted so when you
want whisky on Sunday after this,
you'll have to come around to the
back door.
A newly married couple repaired
to the depot in Baltimore the other
day for the purpose of taking passage
,Northward. Just as they were about
to enter the cars, a boy stepped up
to the bridegroom and held out his
hand, saying: "Papa give me a cent
before you go away The bridegroom
looked surprised and extremely fool
ish; and the bride was indignant. The
husband finally managed to say to
the child, "Go away, I'm not your ia
therl The little fellow, however, as
serted that such was the case, and
stoutly insisted on being presented
. with a penny The wife's jealousy
IL was now thoroughly aroused, and a
" "scene' was imminent, when a gen.
. tleman stepped forward and assured
the couple that the child was in the
habit of importuning young gentle
men with ladies on their arms in the
+ identical language quoted above =
This made matters pleasant at once,
q and the young compile proceeded re-
joicingly on their way.
We learn that a singular and very