The Republican journal., 1870-01-27
From the Overland California Monthly.
THE STORY OF RED GULCH.
A CALIFORNIA COURTSHIP.

! der an aZalea bush, IN pretty mucn Ine same
attitude in which he had fallen some hours
before. How long he had been lying there
he could not tell, and didn't care how long
he should lie there was matter equally in
definite and unconsidered. A tranquil phil
osophy, born Of his physical condition, suf-
fused and saturated his moral being
| The spectacle Of a drunken man,-and OF
this drunken man in particular,-was not, |
grieve to say, of sufficient novelty in Red
Gulch to attract attention, Earlier in the
day, some local satirist had erected q tempo
rary tombstone at Sandy's head bearing the
inscription. Effects of McCorkles whiskey,
kills at forty rods" with hand pointing
to McCorkles saloon. But this, imagine,
was, like most local satire personal and
was reflection upon the untairness of the
process, rather than a commentary upon the
impropriety Of the result. With this face
tious exception, Sandy had been undisturbed.
A wandering mule, released from his pack,
had cropped the scant herbage beside him,
and shifted curiously at the PROSTATE
man; and vagabond dog, with that
sympathy which the species have for drunk
en- men, had licked his dusty boots, and
curled himself up at his feet; and lay there
blinking one eye in the sunlight, with SIM
ulation of dissipation that was ingenious and
dog-like in its implied tlattery of the uncon-
scious man beside him.
Meanwhile, the shadows Of the pine trees
had slowly swung around until they crossed
the road, and their trunks barred the open
meadow with gigantic parallels of black and
yellow. Little putfs Of red dust, lifted by
the plunging hoofs of passing teams, DIS
persed in grimy shower upon tho recum-
bent man. The sun sank lower and lower
and still Sandy stirred not. And then the
rcpose of this philosopher was disturbed-as
other philosophers have been-by the intru-
| sion of the fair sex.
Miss Mary"-as she was known to the
little flock that she had just dismissed from
the log school-house beyond the pines-was
taking her afternoon walk. Observing an
unusually fine cluster of blossoms on the az
elea bush opposite, she crossed the road tc
pluck it-picking her way through the red
dust, not without certain fierce little shiyer>
of disgust, and some feline circumlocution.
And then she came upon Sandy!
| OF course she uttered the little staccatc
cry of her sex But when she had paid
that tribute to her physical weakness, she be-
came overbold, and halted for moment
at least six feet from this prostrate monster
with her white skirts gathered in her hand
ready for flight But neither sound MOI
motion came from the bush. With one
little foot she then overturned the satirical
head-board, and muttered ''beasts t'-an
epithet which probably, at that moment, con
veniently classified in her mind the entire
male population of Red Gulch. For Miss
Mary being possessed of certain rigid notions
of her own, had not, perhaps, properly ap-
preciated the demonstrative gallantry fol
which California had been so justly cele
| brated, and had, as a newcomer, perhaps
fairly earned the reputation of being ''stucl
up"
AS she stood there, she noticed, also, thai
the slant sunbeams were heating Sandy'S
head to what she Judged to be an unhealthy
temperature, and that his hat was lying use
lessly at his side. To pick it up and place
it over his face was work requiring some
courage, particularly as his eyes were open
Yet she did it, and made good her retreat
But she was somewhat concerned on look
ing back, to see that the hat was removed
and that Sandy was sitting up and saying
something,
The truth was, that in the calm depths o
Sandy's mind, he was satisfied that the ray;
Of the sun were beneficial and healthtul
that from childhood, he had objected to ly-
ing down in his hat that no people but con
demned fools, past redemption, ever wore
hats; and that his right to dispense with
them when he pleased was inalienable.
This was the statement of his inner con
sciousness. Unfortunately its outward eX
preston was vague, being limited to a repeti
ton of the following fomula: '.Su' shine all il
up! Wasser maar, Ell? Wass up, su'shine p
Miss Mary stopped and taking fresh cour
age from her vantage of distance, asked hin
if there was anything that he wanted.
'Wass up? Wassar maar?" continued
Sandy, in very high key.
"Get up, you horrid man ?" said Miss Mary
now thoroughly incensed; 'get up and g
home"
Sandy staggered to his feet, He was 81,
feet high, and Miss Mary trembled. He
started forward a few PAGES, and then stop
ped.
"Wass Igo home for?" he suddenly asked
with great gravity.
'Go and take BATH" replied Miss Mary
eyeing his grimy person with great disfavor
TO her infinite dismay, Sandy suddenl,
pulled off his coat and vest, threw them OF
the ground, kicked off his boots, and plung
ing wildly forward, darted headlong ove1
the hill in the direction OF the river.
Goodness heavens! the man will bt
drowned!' said Miss Mary; and then, with
feminine inconsistency, she ran back to the
school-house, and locked herself in.
That night, while seated at supper, will
her hostess the blacksmth's wife, il
came to Miss Mary to ask, demurely, if he1
husband ever got drunk. "Abner," respond
ed Mrs Singer, refectively, ''let's see; Alb
ner hasn't been tight since last lection
) Miss Mary would have liked to ask if he pre-
ferred lying in the sun on these occasions
and if q cold bath would have hurt him bu
this would have involved an explanation
[ which she did not care to give. So she con
tented herself with opening her gray eye!
widely at the red-cheeked Mrs Stinger,-f
fine specimen of southwest efflorescence,- -
and then dismissed the subject altogether
The next day she wrote to her nearest frien6
in Boston: II think l find the intoxicated
portion of this community the least objection
able Irefer, my dear to the men, of course
DO not know anything that could make the
: women tolerable."
In less than a week Miss Mary had forgot
ten this episode-except that her afternoon
walks took, thereafter, almost unconsciously
another direction. She noticed, however
hot >o1,.