The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-03-02
spice.

Sure way to stop woman's mouth
Kiss il.
What was Eve created for? Adams Ex-
press Company.
"A coffin, said an Irishman, lis the bouse
man lives in when he is Dead
The person who said that his mouth never
uttered lie, always spoke through his
nose.
Why is manuscript called MS? Be
cause that is the state in which editors most
frequently find it. aHa
'Ain'tit asin to rob the hen-roost, Jim p
Ah, Bob, that'sa great moral question.
Hand down another pullet.'
Father, said rougish boy, hope YOU
won't buy any more gunpowder tea for
mother" Why not! Because every time
she drinks il she blows US up
Tom said girl to her sweetheart, YOU
have been paying your distressesto me long
enough. 1t Is time You make known your
contentious, 80 as not to keep me in expense
any longer.
Is there any danger Of the boa constric-
tor biting!" asked visitor Of geological
Snowman.
Not the least, replied the showman;
'he never bites, he swallows his whites
whole
A country girl coming from the field was
told By her cousin that she looked as fresh
as daisy kissed with dew Well. ia
wasn't any Teller BY that name. but Il was
Steve Jones that kissed me; told him that
every one in town would find it out
An apothecary's boy was lately sent 10
leave at one house box Of pills, and at
another six live fowls. Confused on tie
way. he left the pills where the fowls should
have gone, and the fowls at the pill place.
The folks who received the fowls were as
tonished at reading the accompanying direc-
tion, Swallow one every two hours
Prenchman: Madame. you charge yer
mooch too big price for zat ROOM
Landlady: Oh you Low, we al the
watering places must make hay while the
sun shines.
Frenchman (infiBalt) Madame. You
sail neyare make ze hay Of me. You must
not zink zat becauseall flesh isgrass zat you
can make hay Of me.
Where was John Rodgers burned 10
deashT asked school teacher, in CON-
handing voice.
Joshua knows said a little girl at the
foot 81 the class.
WELL said the teacher, If Joshua
knows, he may ten.
In the Gre, said Joshua, looking very
grave and wise.
The celebrated DR.. Thynue-celebrated
almost III much for his good living as for his |
professional skill--called one day upon
certain eccentric nobleman. whom he found |
sitting alone AZ q very nice dinner. After
some time the doctor receiving no invitation
u partakc of II, said:
NY dear lord. II wero in your lord
ships place, Ishould ay, Pray, doctor, do |
as am doing
"A thousand pardons for the omission,
cried his lordship; pray. then, my dear
doctor, do a. | am doing-go home and cat
your own dinner
A small boy out West was assisting his
father 70 mark sheep with paint and hrush.
The father would catch sheep and say 70
the boy, Mark that After the Job was
done the boy started for his home. which
was AZ some distance. and was 0ycrtakon by /
a minister on horseback. who, seeing the
boy barefooted, invited him 70 ride behind
him. After the boy was seated he began
10 chatccise him, thus:
Ny lad, do you attend the Sabbath
schoolT
No. was the reply.
you should attend The Sabbath school.
mark that All good children attend both
church and Sabbath school, mark thatr
After many more. remarks Of this kind
the boy replied.
4 have marked your back ali over now.
and Il looks like thunder -