The Republican journal., 1870-10-27
NUMBER 1G,
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.


The Monkey.
The monkey IL q human beinr. little
undersized, kivered with hair, hitched to
tail and filled with the deyil
Naturalsts will tell YOU, If YOU ask them
that l am mistaken, that | mean we'll enuf'
and don't mean tew deceive ennvbody, bu
the monkey IL not a human being, he IL sim.
lply a pun on humanity, kind ov malisNll:
joke ov Jupiter's, q libel with long tail tev
it, a MYSTERIOUS miNter ov ludikrous mische
and state humor, a kind ov pacing hobbyhoss
or connekting gang-plank between man il
his dignity and the beast in hiz darkness.
| hav hi opinyun ov the naturalist, anC
all kinds ov the dictionary fraternity and
tuch mi hat tew them when we meet and re-
spect them for what they know, but dom
worship them for what they don't know az
the heathens do their wooden gods
don't kare what the philosophers say they
kan prove in this matter, | tell YOU coniiden
shally, mi christian friend, that YOU ano tho
monkey are reashuns.
! don't pretend tew say that you are broth
ers and sisters but | do pretend tew state
that monkeys, or emmy other kind ov critters
who exercise reason, even if the light of ii il
az dim az n number six dip candle in tho
rays ov the MONDAY sun, are our rclashuns,
for a certain amount.
| The only fence between the animal and
brute folks il instinkt and reason, and if the
naturalist kant prove that the monkey don't
show single gimmerine of reason, say he
must step oph from the monkeys tail. ant
let him eat at the first table.
The munkey IL initiative tew the highest
| degree, and imitashun IL direkt transgress
nun ov the law ov instinkt, and IL fallou
ground within the domain Of reaZon.
lnstinkt don't step one single step aside
tew smell ov a flower or pull a cats tail
! But argument amt mi fighting weight
git along the best by asserting things az they
strike me, and | say upwards ov four thou5-
and things every year that | kant prove emmy
more than | kan prove what melody IL.
The naturaists may hav their own way
but they kant hav mine, what little know
about things haz been whispered tew me by
the spirits oy some other loInping critters
and IL az distinlt and butiul 3umtmes tev
me az a dream on an empty stummak, it may
be all wrong but it never IL vicious, and thu
i konklude ii IL edukashun.
Now i don't advise ennybody else tcw de
pend for their learning upon sich prekarou>
school masters, the best way is teW follow
the ruts, il will tlke you teW town lust III /
did Yure daddy.
y. ne loutc 'h't | tr'Nel Is Glfh''LI"S a''
ol'llu soille'llles 1t nus now ana then y VISTA
VI " i'llsoaPG M ~ 'nrt = "9iln' IeM nc
IVY '!''i q III ~ ,ilt'"lo l'l','' III w
Kun ny, falHe Sooo "lllte oelhS on y l'hushaPe
! "hehoNel "Aol, III '"0lvo'' "n' pe3li
Jew sliut ~ l'ie S''pouloS "Y sclitlleh'lIlV> u,
gobble turkey, in barn-yard, on dress par
ade, and that IL ist what i am thinking oH
now and therefore i will dlSmOllnt from the
lufhey aho @ll ABOARD 'he monkey (Ihe mon
rex ~ ne am once more.
lu't ucNlI u tlo liohheN l9Lll """ "
he ~ olllE Faluapie' N"A personal proper!
! te" looN a'' aA'' "oh"'f WHAT lie " @"N"-
leW Go heN'.
h,rhnr shon Ln viii }r!'cn Snd PHI Nv tn .rr
b;moalf an1 co1nr Ill ,,,.tnyI III Lir, II
H.; Goods storn omd III Viii bandIa n,a,.
%ooi7 ,han thn hnst rnta;i aldri. - r.
Stov,art n,a,,In,. I',
Tbo I,o,iln,, h,., mot o,t 1oo,;I-ol hool F.;
:, ta,1, ,,',,nb i;,-n ,,m La'l Io
nnst Inf III faco i annnonfa+ad tI, 1nm o, -
o,,l n,s1;sl,,, ,,,i,I.l;nf I. =
H., ,asa,,l,la.' IN, ,.4
and slra4nbns H. La5 J., ,,a+,,,o1 ~ II
trikt skonl nv and nndnnhtndl, for +ho cav
rnason
Monl-o,,s no,.o, o.,,,, ,n,, =, o,-,,..,y
bur yonnr n,1onI.n,, InnI-s i;st IilN6 l.;
,a1aSa ,,ol+nd ~, ]oi MN, ,l,a;,,
srha1. a,a ,,r,ot;,,iia s'l., l-a,,t
.bonld 20 ,,atoI, ll,,tol oil.,,l',, t,
frnsh frnm tbc Home NJ thH TrienIInss ne, M
+u,o n,onl-a,,s