The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-09-10

|
so; stuck" on the following problem:
| Suppose Teller that has nothin marries a
gal that has nothin', is her things hisn, or hisn
her'n, or is his'n and hern his'n.
An Indiana paper says:
But few readers IN the United States. of Ma.
poleon's dispatch that the soldiers were full of
| elan, know that the word means 'beans."
Dan Rico's paper has some good puns, we clip
few:
Lydia Thompson's blondes are said 70 be doing
an immense business in Chicago. We thought
they were only making bare living.
The Republican seeks TO establish the impress
sion that ours il show paper. Well it is-for
showing up the Republicans,
A secondhand Glothier of New Haven, Conn.,,
publicly announces that he has 'lelt off clothing
of every description"
y Concord man has biscuit which was lett on
Latayette's table in 1925 1t was not eaten at
that time and has got sour.
The Wisconsin potato bug5 have good appe-
title for children. They can make an angel OF a
boy in less than no time.
Brigham youne has offered himself to Lydia
Thompsos's whole troupe.
Here is what we should call ''busness:"
In Wood county, widow was introduced to
2 man on Saturday, was buggy ridden on Sum
day, and married on Tuesday. The groom came
home drunk on "Wednesday night, and was
kicked out by the bride, who threw his baggage
after him.
Speaking of red headed girls, an exchange
says:
There is damsel in Norfolk county, Virginia,
whose hair is so red that she has to wear hy nets
over her ears to keep candle moths from stray
ing into that part of her anatomy while she sits
pensive in the summer twilight
The Cincinnati Enquirer advises ANYBODY in
want of fun to go to the German gardens about
eleven o'clock at night and shout Tice Ia France.
The Quincy Herald advocates the adoption
among nations of submitting the question of
going to war to vote of the people and then
compelling those who vote for war to do the
fighting. If such had been the plan here, we
would never have had war with the South. Not
radical would have supported it.
1t is reported that the New York Tribune is
having Grecleys old editorial manuscripts en-.
graved AS maps OF the seat OF war.
The reporter of the New York Sun has been
interviewing Grant m the European war OF
course, he didn't succeed in getting much out Of
him, for there isn't much in him on any subject.
-Er.
Why didn't he use a stomach pump He
could certainly have obtained whskey
The latest and most reliable snake story out.
is that VI man in Ohio who recently killed in
less than a week thirteen thousand, seven hun
dred and eghty.iour snakes in twenty acres of
N-In On n and Ia @horo
three times as many left. He offers the place
free OF charge for picnic parties, and other So
cial a.nusements.
1t would be good place Tor a republican con-
venton, but perhaps it would be death to the
snakes.
Dr. Franklin described the farmers condition
il 177G as follows:
Farmer at the pillow,
Wife milking COW:
daughters spinning yarn,
SNS threshing in the barn
All happy to a charm.
Another writer gives the account of 1870 as
follows, applicable, at least, to some ATTITUDES:
The farmer gone to see show
His daughter at the piano;
Madame gayly dressed in satin
All the boys are learning Latin,
WIKI mortgage on the farm!
Victor Hugo writes to the ladies of Ger.
many:
"'Ihis war is neither war Of duty nor war
of liberty; il is simply one Of caprice. Two ma.
tions are going to kill each other for the anuse.
ment OF two rulers. While thinkers are per.
fecting civilization, kings perfect war. This
one will be frightful.'