Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1870-12-14
Wit and HumOr.
THE rising at Paris-Balloons.

The rising at Parls-Balloons.
A TRAIN of fancy-George Francis.
Nor a poor gift-a gift to the poor.
WHAT is it that Adam never saw, new
er possessed, and yet he gave to each
of his children2 Parents.
CONSCIENCE has been called that eel
estial harmony which vibrated in the
ears of the martyrs, and. soothed their
sIlfferings.
"Is molasses good for cough?n in
quired a youth with a heavy cold cit
ought to be, it is sold for consumption, y
was the reply.
Mrs. orDLER says she never could,
for the lf.e Of her, understand what a
high chu1' man was until she heard of
French minister being up III ballo-
on.
A GOOD sort of a man was recently
asked to subscribe for chandelier for
The church. "Now," said he, "what's
the use of a chandelier After you get
it, you can't get any one to play on it, y
A RAILWAY station agent in New Hamp-
shire, having been reprimanded for al
lowing car to be so heavily loaded that
it broke down, replied, MR. G. what
do you expect man to know for $40 a
month 2"
A GENTLEMAN of dramatic proclvities
at his boarding house, the other day,
was heard TO humble, as he attacked his
mass of Indigestion in the shape of a
beefsteak: g Would that this too, too
solid flesh would melt"
81 find Dick, that you are in the hab-
it of taking my jokes and passing them
off as your own. Do you call that gen
tlemanly conduct ~ ''To be sure do,
Tom. A true gentleman will always
take joke from friend
A PLEASANT slip of the tongue is re-
corded by French paragraphist. A
lady was enjoying the society of her
lover, when the bell rang, and the ser
want announced "the doctor" "Tell
him I'm Ill, and can't see him, " was ma
DANES reply.
"Do you believe in the rod as an in
strument of discipline 2" asked mother
of school teacher in Nevada, to whom
she had sent her unruly son. "No,
madam" 'Oh, I'm so glad What do
you substitute for it ~ tThe revolver,
madam" Exit mother and unruly son.
MARK TWAIN has this advice for young
men with literary aspirations: "Write
without pay until somebody offers pay.
If NOBODY offers pay within three years,
the candidate may look upon this cir
cumstauce with the most implicit con
fdence as the sign that saving wood is
what he was intended for
The wife of manufacturer in an in
land town, whose daughter was about
to be married, sent notes to her friends
requesting that, if they intended tc
make wedding presents of silverware
they would send the money instead, az
she was about to visit New York, ano
would prefer to buy the articles herself
81 it will be so nice to have the things
In. eli you know"
IHE Roston Transcript says: GA
slight touch of liver complaint, habil
ity to disease of the lungs, or consti
tutional tendency to disease of the
heart, may perhaps lend certain charm
to the character. It may tone down the
exuberant spirits which are apt to dis
quit us in perfectly healthy men"
JUDGE PoRrnY says the hveliest time
he ever experienced was on issuing the
first number of newspaper in western
town. The people wanted something
stirring. He published the persona
history of the leading politicians as fur
nished by their friends. The Judg,
says that for the first hour they all rush
ed for the paper; the second hour the,
went for him.
A KANSAS paper, describing avoiding
trousseau, says: I" The bride is to hav,
trailing nightgowns; oh, such beauties
with ever such long trails-fve feet, a
least One chenaisette that our gossip
. ing friend showed us had over fifty dol
lars worth of trimming on it, that is onl,
one of half dozen"
81 GUESS you mean to bring up tina
ere one to be pretty sharp at Ia bargain? 2
said fellow to woman who was rock
ing and singing with all her might to
little responsibility. "Why 2" "Caus
you keep bawling 'by low, baby, b.
low, baby into his ears all the time"