Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1870-09-27
Behind Time.

As Mr.. Hardriff was going through the
Athereun, during some exhibition, he was
attracted by beautiful picture of the Cruel
fxion. and was much struck by it, inquiring
of his companion the story of it, about which
he had never heard. He was much inccnscd
thereat, and treasured it in his mind.
Going through North street, next day,
where the twelve tribes do congregate, he was
button holed and held by member of them,
who importuned him to ''come and buy some
thing"
"What are you ?" ,aid HardrifF; "arc you
jew"
~ am Ishraclitc," was the reply.
"Then take that" giving him at the same
time rap on the nose.
s.Vat YOU do that for ?" said Moses rubbing
his proboscis 81 never sold you no clo'es."
"No but you were one of them that naild
that man to the cross, confound you"
'sNe l no do him =; dat was done two tou-
sand years ago"
"Well, don't care anything about that"
said Hardriff 81 never heard of it till yes
terday."
AN OpEBAToR's REpARTEE.-Billy Stan
ton is one of the best known telegraphers in
the profession, and during the war he was
cyphcr operator for q prominent general
One day the warrior rode up to Billy, and &C.
costed him as follows: ''Stanton, what is the
motive power used in telegraphing?"
Electricity"
"WlI you please tell US the nature of Elec-
tricity ?"
why, general, [ have seen it, felt it and
heard it, but was never able to hold on to it
long enough to examine it"
ssIndeed sir /; but they say Franklin succeed
ed in putting lightning into bottle and cork
ing it."
.Oh, yes, sir" retortcd Billy; ~ have Of
ten seen bottled lightning down in Jersey, but
believe that has never been successfully used
in telegraphing."
The general rode off disguised, and two
weeks afterTard Billy was relieved from his
position.
A CALIFORNIA DosE-The wife of a
California farmer being sick, her physician
ordered some powder largely composed of
opium, and directed her husband to admins
ter the weight of quarter eagle at DOSE
In the morning, when the doctor returned the
patient was dead, and evidently of poison.
Unhappy man, said the doctor, where is
the powder l gave you 2
Il gave it to her. Here is the empty box
You forgot my prescription then.
NO, doctor I put the two dollars and a
n1lI IN one SCale duU llc pO"ucl III IuC OIuSA'
WAS it gold
NO: I did no. have the gold, so 1 made up
the amount in silver
A SAYING OF HENRY CLAY.-Herry Clay
used to say that there were three classes of
persons with whom it never was safe to quar-
rel:
First-EIinisters. For the reason that they
had pulpits from which they could donouncc
me, and had nose from which to reply.
Secondly-Editors For they had the most
powerful engines from which they could every
day hurl wrath and fury npon me and had
none through which to reply.
And finalIy-With women, for they would
have the last word anyhow.
LUNAcY.-An editor who was evidently
insane, or had strong and vivid imagination,
recently got off the following appropriate
item. if true
Ihad a dream the other night,
When ever ything was still;
dreamed each advertiser
Came up and paid his bill,
Each wore look OF honesty,
And smiles were round each eye,
As they handed out the stamps,
Saying, "1Iow is this for high"
- There is moral taught by the following
conversation, which needs to be learned by
many fathers. Said little four year old:
SMOTHER, father wont be in heaven with us,
will he ?"
"Why, my child 2"
"Becaucc he can't leave the store"
- Experimental philosophy: Trying to
borrow an umbrella. Moral philosophy
Refusing to lend it.
Little fish have n pfoper idea of BUSH