The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1870-09-25
lsasslnsE Star and Catholic Messenger.
! IL dsIl1ss s0aDAT. ssrTsMREs IS. ls7o.
WIT AND w1sDoM.

f& WIZ AND WlDOOm.
ghy does theewashing come home on a
: ee3rdayf Because it's the close (clothes) ga
fs1As week, he
Ven reporter wants y "harrowing az
14on for q sensation, he should search for 70
linAn agricultural district. -,
a -witticism Of the day in Paris recently e,
efned q masked ball as " q merciful in II
itnfi0n for plain women. tt
1 a paper called the Mag~olia Flo,cer tt
loss0ms in Arkhnsas; but the editor COM
|lains that It does not make o scent. Il
s"Who was Davies grandmother ~ II
aked clergyman of Sunday school y
scholar. "a woman, sir" was the reply.
sIt is remarkable fact that however y
veil young ladies may be versed in gram a
mar, very faw are able to decline matri- !
. Why is the letter gloomy and discon- /
|ented voweis Because, though never out !
health and pocket, it never appears in
|pirfts.
ssWhat q pity you are not mirror,'"'
nid fpp 20 young lady. "Why so," VI
liked be- blushing girl. Because you
ould be q good looking lass" N
An old bachelor says, SIT is all nonsense
pretend that love is hind. 1never knew
raaS, in love that did not see entimes as
knSh In his sweetheart ~ I could"
Hos can yon pay. .nsi What can you
LII In the pound e demanded the credlt-
III resiir I've Z 8 dpnksy inthe pound"
y.oSd dsal st esconsolation offered in
~ Wofad Il about as solacing as the as
sice of the man to his wife when she
ri into the river: " You'll find ground at
HE bottom, my dear:"
"a kreverend divine, who was but 80
{6reacher, being called upon acc1oentat,y
a sermon, asked friend what he should
preach about to which the other coony
fepted: ]" About FIVE minutes"
II A young professor at one of the colleges
marrisd lady twenty years er;sna ms to seI s a
proof 81. his ambition, as he appeared de-
s sirous Of studying the ancients."
n a baxrister. blind of one eye, pleading
IFw;th his snectacles on, said: "Gentlemen,
II IN NV araument I shall use nothing but
81 what II necessary "Then," whispered a
= wag, take one OF the glasses OUT oi Soui
apectacles."
IAN ambitious gentlemen In Connecticu. - ne -, !.
B anDeals. over his own signature, 100 the
8 naiehannicks laburing men OF my native ..
town. l will reprizint you IN the otal'
b assemblee irrispictif of pollytics, reilgloi
81 or eddicashuns
II Atk-sdnday school a teacher asked
81 little bov il he knew what the expression
& Sc sowing tares" meant. Course does,
4 said he, pointing to his little oreec5e: /:
There's tear mother seweo' 'oN
Gliding down hill.
4 ,,dsnnons man walking in a street In Lon
Son. whom he Immediately accosSed Ihue
g ar. may inquire if you are any oouy
Z nsEticnlar 81 He then walked of, wlthot
j wsitipg for reply.
sMDon,t YOU thinkMr Prosy speaker
great mower ~ asked . gentleman In Ielel
Snce to pomponA long. w3naeG S;nc ,e'.uic Uo;c
s1Yns. kiqh drarl-ic~ power was the rep
II nf x6S rerson addressed.
gentleman wrote his servant telili
him, to take card to his friend, and INV
~, 20 dinner. but the valet read " carr
and accordingly took that ungentiemsan, = !,
vai,;cle across the country for the oiau
one. The blunder broke up 'ne A'N"'N
An elderly lady, telling her age, rema1
al ahe was born on the 23d of April. u
hnshand.- who was present, observer:
q aiTsvs Thought you we're born on the ISL
Aprii.n :" People might well judge 81
responded the lady, In the cnoi'e N-'
of husband" .,
uTha Rest of Rest is Sleep."-Wom
require more sleep than men, aah nthar "a, oc. n
iess than those engaged in any otner oc'
nation. Editors, reporters, printers d
tia~ranb oDerators need not sleep at
T.wvsrs can sleep as much as they pleas
it viii keep them out of mischief.
uDear met" exclaimed MIR. shgg,,
"That new surgeon gave Squantum
new lin from the child's own enc
what a painful operation! 1T m1st s' s
been an dive had IL pair of ups taken ! :. y
NV cheek more than once," repheo
st;oains. "and it wasn't painful ope
tion at all.n ,h
A Michigan girl settled q breacn
ror,;sa case. the other day, without
expense OF publicity of the courts. 49,,
oeiled on her recreant lover with re'
yer, as he was chopping WOOD aiGne I'm am
forest, took him with her TO Ihe 'o"
clerks office, mended the breach III "
minutes and then let him go.
A gentleman praising the personal cna
~ q yarv plain woman in the presenc,
Eoote, the latter said +" And why q
zon Law claim to such an accompiis
Ieantvfn "What right have l 10 u! M
3 exclaimed the gentleman: EveIy FL ~
h1 the law of nations" replied re !,
"every right, as the first disco'eie., ~.
At a. Juvenile party young gentiset,
about seven years old, kept h,msen aS af
the rest of the company cod,a Inc and ,adS Slay "
house called to him; "Come sthoa,9, auu pa"y
dance. INV dear. Choose one OF those pl
,;sis for your wife," Not likely,
the.young cynic, "no wife for me do
th;nE 7 want to be worried out OF my
like poor papa !" -,