The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-09-10
WIT AND WISDOM.

upon his superior wit :" You DO greet
creditto the crcle in which you move"
said be. "WeIl," replied Berger, :" Il
have been called limb in my time"
"a Emb,-Bcrger"
Berger aseented something and made no
reply. IIL,f i1 utL nJ
f'Union is not always strength" as the
sailor said when he saw the Purser mixing
his rum and water. - -u1 rv
"A gentleman asked little girl what il
was that made person look 80 when an
other tickled him. 81 suPpoes it is the
! laugh creeping over him," was the isntant
reply.
"BaI." said Bob, "why is that tree
called weeping willow n cause one Of
the sncaking, plaguy thing grew near the
scbool-house, and supplied the master with
switches 1t Ft...
Mike, they tell me you've got twin
brother" "Yis, SO It's. Me brother Pat
is twin to myself, only he's born in Ireland
and me in the States" -rarrr
A contemporary asks, how is il that
the mouths Of rivers are larger than their
heads. = Nothing cut Of the way; We
know Of persons in the same tx.
On a sultry Sunday, the minister Oh
serving quite number Of bis congrega-
ton asleep, remarked, in a most emphatic
manner: Il saw an advertisement last
week for FIVE hundred sleePers for rail-
road. | think l could supply at least fifty.
and recommend them as good and sound. I"
Two convicts, by name Clark and Joy
were on their way to Australia;
"You have the advantage Of me, Clark,
you needn't look 50 blue. /"
Why have l ?" asked the other.
You're being transported with JOY"
A Connaught man being told Of the
American who was 90 tall that be got up a
ladder to shave himself, replied "And
isn't that as aisy as walking Z" Why
wouldn't the gentleman get up lGther to
shave himself-that is, barren he wore
beard"
Fontenelle, when he was at the age Of
niuety, passed Madame Helvetius, whom
he did not see, without saluting her How
little ought to believe your compliments"
said the Lady to him, after dinner you
actually passed me without looking at me.
" MADAM" leplied the antiquated beau,
" if had looked at you, | never should
have passed"
A man in Rhode Island has a water
melon which began to grow in bis garden.
It yroeressed so rapidly that now il reaches
clear across the State, why cna end iDr
Massachusetts and the atker a ESpnscti-
cut. The people Of the iattsr State are
suing bin for trespass but in M-ssachu'
setts they have begun a tunnel III their end,
and, whole families are working along in 1t
twards Rhode Island day afte~ day; snd
holding campmeetings in the shade Of the
shade Of the rind.
Thad. Stevens once having lost cause
in a county court, through a stupid rnling
or the Judge, left the room, scattering inn
precautions right and left. The judge
straightened himself to his full height, as
sumed an air of offended majesty, and asked
Thad. if he meant to express his contempt
for this court" Thad. turned to him very
deferentially, in feigned amazenent; eek
press my contempt for this conrt No, sir
/ am trying to conceal it, your honor"
A very bad memory; Father" Mary,
my love, do you remember the text Of this
morningY" Mary" No, pa, | never can
remember the te4t, I've got such bad
memory" Mother" BY the way, did
YOU notice Susan Brown? Mary" Yes,
what fright She bad on her last years
bonnet done up, pea-green silk, a black
lace mantilla, brown boots, imitation boni-
ton collar, lava bracelet her old earrings,
and suOh fan U, my" Mother
"Well, my dear, your memory is certainly
bad
Mr.. Twiss, romanc@e traveller, was
talking Of church he had seen in Spain
a mile and half long. g Bless me, said
Garrick, how broad was iIY' Ten
yards" " This you will observe, gentle
men," said Garrick to the company, this
is not round lie, but differs from bis othsy
stories, which are generally as broad as
they arc long"
A talented young African, Of tho boot
black persuasion, observed a neighbor por-
ing wisely over newspaper, whereupon
he addressed him thus "Julius, what you
looking at dat paper for2 You can't rerd."
" Go way, fellah," cried the other indig-
nantly /" big nuff," retorted the other,
scorufully, Z" dat amt muffin. A cows big
ruff to cOtch mice, but she can't"