The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-07-13
5pico.

If acc, having buried eight husbands, is
about to try her hand in the NINTH Life
insurance companies decline to take risk
ON his life.
In Alaska, if native murders his wife,
her relatives won't be satisfied until he
giycs them lot Of blankets. They think
wife il worth fifteen blankets in the
summer, and twenty in the winter.
An old farmer says the best way for q
young city chap who wants to become an
agriculturalist is to hire out to some farmer
sr q couple Of years. and then marry a
girl that knows how 10 raise chickens and
make pantaloons.
An incident In railway ear. Monster
"Pm afraid I'm sitting on your crinoline,
ma am" AiTable Young LADY," Oh,
never mind, sir, it's Of no consequence.
you can't hurt it, Monster" No ma
I'm its not that but the confoundcd thing
hurts me. liSi
0'Conncll, in addressing jury. having
exhausted every ordinary epithct Of abuse
stopped for word, and then added, This
aaaJrmeous rufian." When afterward
asked BY his friends the meaning Of the
word, he confessed he did not know, but
said, "he thought ipsounded we'll. /"
II four dogs, with sixteen legs, can catch
twenty nine rabbits, with eighty seven legs,
ID forty four minutes, how many legs
must the same rabbits have 70 get away
from eight dogs, with thirty two legs, in
seventeen minutes and half? We have
scen sums in books neaily as sensible as
this.
A certain reverend speaker in the coun-
try, preaching a very dull sermon to con-
gregation not used 10 him, inaay Of them
slunk out Of the church, one after another.
before tho sermon was Guided. Truly"
said gentleman present, 'ihis learned
doctor has made very 1aoUiag discourse"
A man having been brought before a
Dutch justice Of the peace IN Albany coun-
" on d charge Of having four wives, the as
founded magistrate exclaimed: You let
dat man 20. Iffc Ifs nit four wifes no
has punishment enough. / lifi NIT only
yon, and dats morc'n can sthandr'
A schoolnlastcr advertising for an usher
Who could teach the classes as far as " IIo-
mcr and Virgil" received an answer from
man who said, "IIc did not know where
Virgil aud Homer lived, but as bis friends
lived in Lol.dcn. he had no objection 10 20
10 Hampstead, Remington, d Brcntford,
at furthestp S
We know minister who was generally
able to keep his congregation vide awake,
but who, on ono occasion--it was sultry
summer day---obscrycd numbers q them
aslcep. He resolved 10 nip The evil prac-
ticc IN the bud. So taking good survey
of the scene before aud around him, he en-
claimed, . I saw IN advertisement last
week Cor five hundred slccpcrs Cor arail-
road. think could supply Il IL least
City. and recommend them a. good aud
sound" II Is perhaps needless 70 add
that the supply instantly vanished.
why" said Miss Anna Dickinson, on
one occasion, stepping forward 70 the foot
lights and commencing lecture with lof-
~ fight Of clOqucncc, !" Why was bOrng,
She paused. and a thrill ran through the
audience. Again the rich tones Of The win
somc woman rolled over The cxpcctant peo-
pie as she repeated the question, why
was | bornsD And again she paused, that
the due impression might be made upon
her hearers before she answered her own
question. why was ! borns' she ask
Cd once more, il touching and almost
painful accent, when wicked boy IN tie
gallery shouted, II give II upr'
josh Billings says. May Is the belle Of
the ycar. she las worn tho belt for five
thousand years. If May hadn't have been
sensible girl, sic would have bin spite
long arc with poetry and stanzy. Butshci il
an independent krittcr, and don't kare ono
kuss for stanzy: This il m eazy month
tcw fall IN love, our natun are now fully
thawd out after the late kold snap. and
like little melted brook. tow mix with.
OH how precious and delight3um itis 70
mig. Hive bees during this month, u yu
have got sum, IL not, hive mmbcddy elsc's
The Rooster now, with Dustin, thnit,
Prokiaims the r01y morn,