The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1870-05-04
spice.

The fittest dover for a widow--A Wild
over.
ghc Woman Question" Can you LEI
nlaiaye $40 this morning."
New motto for merchants
Late to bed, and early to rise,
Never get tight, and advertise.
Why i laziness like money! Because
the more man has Of It, the more he
wants.
When you see man yawn and close his
eyes during the sermon, il is sign that be
isgetting sleepy.
SIGNS. When you see the sun rising
before you get out Of bed, il isa sign that
you'd not do for farmer.
A little boy out West being asked if be
knew where liars went, answered: fcs,
10 New York to write for the papers,
Good style Of walking--when sou get
into an editors room walk right out. Il
i healthy exercise, particularly for the cd
itor.
Daughter said an anxious parent to his
little one, .sdidn't tell you to eat no
more green applesT' Yes, papa, but
thisis yellow one.
When YOU see boy throwing stones on
the street and speaking imprudently to old
people, it is a sign that his parents don't
care much for him.
What branch Of education do you
have chiefly in your school /" A willow
branch, sir: the master has used up al
most whole tree"
The editor Of Missouri paper asks his
readers to excuse the looks Of bis paper, Us
he is in bed from the effects Of a fght with
a delinquent subscriber.
John Onion Is the suggestive name Of an
Illinois editor. When he pccls hilnsclfund
gets down heartily to his work be must
bring water to the eyes Of his readers.
When you sec gill throwing kisses and
winking at tic boys as they pass her win
dow, Il il sign that shc is two young %
be out u sight Of her maternal relative.
When you see man trying 10 convince
lamp post that il is imoolite to try to &c,
in Tie wa. Of gentleman, il is sign that
be has been drink ig--lcnonadc perhaps.
.Ienny you're pig said a father to
his little Ave year old boy. Now. do you
know what n pig is. Jenny!
Yes sir; a pig is hogs little boy
Where are You going? asked it'll,
boy Of another who bad slipped and fallen
on an icy pavement.
Going to got up was the blunt reply
a rcyivalist cncountering m African
asked him. .'My good man. have yol
found the Lord.' 70 which Sanbo re
piled in surprised manner: " Coll,
inassa am dc Lord lostg
When you sec young gentlemen and Ia
dies whispering and giggling and writinI
notes in church, II Is sign that tho maj
who teaches good manners omitted 10 giv
them call when he como along The las
time.
The most aicctionatc specimen Of anna
tory poetry that came to our notice durin
the past week is the following:
When old Robert sits on ally chair
OIL don't I with that / we're there
When her fairy fingers pat his head
OH don't wish twas me instead
When Sally's arms his neck imprisor
OH don'tI wish my neck was hisn
When sally kissed Roberts nos,
OH don't | with that I were thos,
A young gentleman recently found hin
sclf in company with three young ladiel
and generously divided an orange be.wce
them. /" You win rob yonrsclf.'' .,
claimed oncof the danfsels. .sNot AZ All. (
replied the innocent; III have three ,
four more in my pocketf'
Friend MalIsry. I nm pleased thcchI
rot such fine organ in thy church.
But said the clergyman, III though
you were strongly opposed 70 having an o
gan In a church. . 80 I am" sai
friend Obadiah, "but IL thee win worshI
the Lord with machinery, TwouId ask IL,
70 have first rate Instrument