The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-02-07
THE OLD sCEEOoLmAsrER.

years ago, aud We are inclined 10
think is living still:
THE Old SCEOOLMAsEER.
BY EB. sTEBBINs.
Some mourn their schoolboy days, and
wish they could recall
Their sunny hours and sports. I would
not lift the pail
That hides my school days; they're hap
PLY DER,
And he that made them misery, now
sleeps to wake no more.
So let him sleep, and thank the friendly
sod
That interVenes between US and his rod.
a. learned man, and pious, too, was he,
Who wondered how folks could so stu
pid be.
AS not to seek his wisdom, why need they
study
Into the depths OF wisdom when he was
ready
To furnish wisdom - ready made" - to
everybody.
He liked to demonstrate his education,
Not simply to win the vulgar approbationl
Twas with a deep desire to get due credit,
For great profundity of lore he did it.
He spoiled no child by sparing of the rod,
But made himself feared as he feared God
AS an avenging scourge, no soitening love.
Bound him to aught on earth, or babe him
look above.
But all by fear were ruled, and fear alone,
Was made to stimulate alike the drudge
and drone.
His single joke-one joke completed his
guilt,
Was on the same SOUND, fearful basis built.
And warned oelinquents of the fearful
price
'Twould cost to disregard his sage advice
Don't incur my indignation,
Or you will feel my castigRtiOn."
Craven on his ferule was the threatening
couplet,
Thank Providence, there was not room to
double it.
Woe TO the Iuckless urchin who dared to
plead,
When once accused of forbidden deed;
For castigation" followed severe and
speedy,
AS If to {. castigate" were luxury, and he
was greedy
Of It's indulgence; and yet he seemed as
tontshed
That none of us grew good by being pun'
ished.
That tricks were played on him, his tow
ering dignity
Not shielding him from juvenile malig-
nifty.
He deemed his own anger "virtuous in
dignation,"
Nor ever dreamed he that by imitation
OF his example pugnacious spirit grew,
Among his subjects-or if he knew,
Relied Implicitly for It's eradication
On his great cure for eUiE-'' castigatlon."
He taught all branches to all sorts of
scholars;
They took his lessons and his "lickings
he their dollars;
Lectured with pride on syntax and or
biography,
But met grave disaster cruising In geog-
raphy.
In all his learned labors he took pride
enough,
And with his pride and pains he also took
much snuff;
And, as he dealt out wisdom, inch by inch,
He dealt Ire snuff, to stimulate him, pinch
by pinch,
Until, one day, on teaching so intent, he
Had pfnched so oft he pinched his snuff
box empty.
Cuba was the lesson under con sideration;
What were her products, exports and her
Importation;
Pepper and sugar, tobacco, rice and coffee
Were each in turn recoUnted, when for
want of snuff he
Became confused and cut an envoy sent
To get new supply OF his favorlte stimu-
liant.
The messenger, absorbed in TIE learned
dissertation,
Thought less of the GRAND than of the
recitation,
Returned in haste and to the teacher
handed
That which, apparently, his learned nose
demanded.
He was glowingIy describing the sunny
Cuban CLINE,
While opening the package, declaring it
sublime;
His fingers fingered lovingly among the
pungent charm,
stun elcquentIy Iecturing, nor dreaming
aught OF harm.
TIL into both his nostrils he sent with
hasty thrust
An unusually large pinch OF the titilating
dust.
Fhe lecture. at this juncture, came to
sudden close,
While, in apparent agony, he grasped and
rubbed his nose,
His massive frame convuised with mingled
rage and pain,
And vainly strove, with all his might, to
blow it out again.
his efforts but increased the growing in
Illumination,
While in the crowded schooL-room all was
fright and constern alton.
His eyes were getting bIoodshot, and his
face became
swollen all out of shape and red as lurid
flame.
You little wretch"' he eri ed, "I'l fog
you for this caper.
instead of bringing snuff you have
brought me cayenne pepper!'
whose was really the blame has never
been decided,
here being too much for one, 1t was
equally divided.
he boy, with tears, protested he was for
pepper sent;
Keep silence, sir" the master saids ''you
shall this trick repent"
Sut there the matter rested, and aston
ishing TO say,
he matter ne'er was mentioned after that
unIucky day.
- -
VALENTINES DAY.-Iu response to |
be notice in yesterdays paper q
arge number Of applications have
cen received for Valentines to order. |