Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1870-10-06
MLERsBURG, HOLMES COUNTY, Co., THURSDAY, OcT 6, 1870

that 1 did not use my feet more thai
; was necessary for that purpose.
/, Good and bad eggs were unmista
kably mixed now, and l threw tn,
Shiny mass out Of doors, with de
cided antipathy to eggs for break
fast.
The next day some evil genius
must have whispered me to cool
some beans. They will be so con
venient, 1 thought. This cooking
!, every meal is a bore.
After a long search, I found thu
sack that contained them, and turn
ing out two quarts, perhaps, washed
and drained them, and then select
ing nice piece of salt pork, placed
it over them in pan, and put then
in the oven to bake. But, as have
since learned, dry beans and sail
pork have no affinity, and the more
cooked them the harder they be
came, if such a thing were possible
The pork sputtered and snapped
but the beans remained small and
shiny as at first. Two, three hours
were given them, and then / took
them from the oven to make dag
nosis of the case.
| But one thickness of cloth is not
enough between the hand and smo-
king hot metal; at least, such is my
Judgment; and coming to that con-
clusion before l reached the table,
let go, and they came rattling to the
floor like hailstones, giving a map
of Greece (grease) not down in any
geography, ancient or modern.
Blowing my blistered fingers, at in
tervals, l shoveled the bewitched
things into the back yard, fervently
hoping they would not take root and
lproduce second crop, obstinate as
themselves.
But / must have something be-
sides meat and potatoes; the bread
was all consumed, and 1 was be-
coming desperate. Some corn
bread! yes, could recall the recipe
1 found the meal, turned on the
scalding water, added the other in
gradients, and soon had q brown
loaf, tempting to the eye, at least.
But l soon found that beauty was
its principal charm. If it did not
''turn to ashes on the lips" it did
something much coarser; and there
was an uncooked taste about it de-
cidedly unpleasant. The few mouth
fuls managed to swallow scratched
my throat so numerically that I
was fearful of some mortal disease
having its seat in that part; but a
careful examination relieved my
fears. And 1 may as well state here
that my unfortunate cake was made
of some coarse, unsifted meal my
careful mother had reserved for the
chickens.
l did not like corn bread, that
was certain; but I could try some
biscuit! Accordingly, substituting
flour for meal, l added the rest, hot
water and all. But, shade of Tan
talus! it was neither butter nor
dough, and adhered to everything it
touched. / broke the mixing spoon
in trying to stir it-plastered my
hands in the endeavor to remove
the broken spaon-and dropped the
rolling-pin on my most thrifty corn.
Just then the door-bell rang, and
forgetting all but my profession, 1
brushed the hair off my forehead
with my sticky fingers, and an
swered the call, to the no small sur
prise of the pumpkin who was sent
for me, and who reported that "Dr.
Cooper gin bread pills, cause he
seen him maxim en-"
The summons was urgent, and,
catching my hat and gloves, was
soon with my patient, who was not
too sick to wonder, as his attendants
did, if l was trying to take cast of
myself, clothes and all, in plaster?
Released at last, 1 returned, de-
termined to finish those biscuits.
The mass worked little better,
now it was cool, but still would take
no form resembling biscuit, dabble
in it as l would.
Completely disgusted with the
glutinous pile, that clung viciously
to everything it came in contact
with, and crawled to each side of
the board, as if anxious to get away
from itself, I stood, and eyed it saw
agely, and wondered what I should
do next?
81 will tumble it into the pan," I
said to myself, "and perhaps it will
be bread! 1 like new bread"
But this was a feat easier con-
templated than accomplished. The
board was covered with the abom-
Unable stuff, and every particle stuck
like melted wax; but, by dint of
poking, pushing and dragging, the
greater part was finally transferred
to the pan; and then, with thoughts
of warmer place, sent it into the
oven, and turned to clearing up the
debris.
With a cloth and some water
commenced with the board, or rather
with the plaster that covered it; but
the water soon looked like milk,
and the cloth refused to remain in
my fingers, so encased was it with
slime.
Another ringi Confusion! Must
everybody get sick ON this unlucky
day, of all others?
1 wiped my hands as well as 1
could, although shreds of that de-
testable dough clung to them, and
went to the door.
No call from patients this time,
but from Mrs. Dossel and her beau
tiful daughter, who resided in an adj
joining county, and, having occa-
sion to pass through our village by
stage, had called to see my mother
and sisters, with whom they were
intimately acquainted.
Icould not shut the door in their
faces, and invited them to the parlor,
and then stood, staring helplessly at |
them, and wondering why they did
not do something? The younger
one looked at me, as if she half sus
pected l was an escaped lunatic, and
as dangerous as was dirty; but the
elder lady, with practical woman's |