The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1870-11-13
Morning Star ard Catholic Messenger,
HHw ORLEANS. sUNnAY. NovrHnrR :, I'm


A hen il. not immortal, and yet her so
never sets.
r. Can 2 man be said to speak feelincl
wnen bis grafton touches his audience
Men born blind can't be carpenters, be
cause they never saw.
There is one thing which can always b
found, and that is fault.
Murmurs Of the iTied-The grumblinp
OF married couple.
When is young lady like poacher
When she has her hair in a net.
Difficult Punctuation-Pu Putting stop t,
agossip's tongue.
If you are to have your thoughts abou
You, let them by all means be in your head
What is that which man NAV bavs
A will.
Every gun in both the Prussian and
French armies has breech. Ought thew
not to have pair of breechesf
They say the wind makes the chimneys
smoke. No, wonder, the rascal, he is al
ways blowing cloud himself.
"Let me have men about me who drink
wine," said Caesar, "for it only wants { t
TO make reasonable men reasonable"
Why is the earth like school black
board Because the children Of men null
Apiy upon tuo lace OF IL.
An economical Yankee who has worn the
same nat for forty three years, says it has
been in fashion seven times.
Mr.. 9. has spoken i'll of you," said
gossip to his friend, q man who thoroughly
understood the world. That astonishes
me-" was his reply, I" have never rendered
him any service"
:" Mr.. Smithers, how can you sleep so
The sun has been up these two hours.n
Well, what if he has 7" said Smithers,
he goes to bed at dark, while I'm up till
after midnight
What made you tell the gentleman you
had three or four sisters and brothers,
Mary, when you have none z" "Why. ma.
didn't like him to think you were SO poor
you could afford to buy none."
A Western editor, in announcing the de-
mise of his paper, says, The brilliancy of
our career has only been equalled by it's
brevity, and the lack of business manage
ment has only been excelled by the lack of
business ITSELF"
A lady, living in the country, who is a |
little plumpish. sent her man-servant to
secure two places in the local coach, SO |
that she mightn't be squeezed. There was
only room for one inside, so he engaged the !
other outside.
Some one asked a clerical friend how it |
was Mrs. Parson was never seen at church. |
% Well, you see," said he, in confidence,
''she helps me with my sermons on the Sa-
turday, and she says she can't be bothered
to them twice."
It is said that one member of Congress
another, who had just con-
Guided one of his great efforts, thus, ga
great speech-the best speech ever heard
delivered by man who knew SO little of
his subject"
A French lady's son has just been ap-
pointed surgeon to one of the regiments in
he field. His mothers last request was
hat il he found his treatment killed more
han it cured, he should go over to the
and doctor them.
The Sons of Temperance had q can of
&C. water prepared for meeting on a re
ent hot evening. Some unregenerate mem {
er added q bottle Of whisky, and they
rank it all up. They never noticed any {
unusual taste till it. was all gone.
Two men in Vienna recently passed an
austrian officer, who strutted up and down {
ne street in his gold -embroidered uniform {
8 majestically as peacock. "Why," said
ne to the other, "that officer looks as s
he had lost the battle of Sadowa all q
lone." -l
81 have SEEM" said quiet writer, "wo- -
en- so delicate that they were afraid to
de because of the horse running away; 6.
raid to sail, for fear the boat should cap
ze; and afraid to walk, for fear the dew ~
light fall but l never saw one afraid to =,
st married" 6.
Think" said fellow the other day, fe
[ should make a good member of Parlia-
emit, for use their language. I received ii
70 bills q short time since, with requests
r immediate payment; the one ordered 81
be laid on the table-the other to be pl
ad that day six months" Il
An old Fifteenth Amendment friend was
ked the other day, "Who are those young
dies Z" referring to two handsome colored 81
rls that happened to be passing. The w
other, pricking up bis ears, and Cooking IL
3 eye," replied, "Ef de Lord doesn't sh
low 'em betteE dan do, dey's lost" gil
81 think" once said famous vegetarian b be
conversation, that when q man lives ~,
beef he becomes something of an OK if 20 20
eats mutton he begins to look sheepish, AZ AZ
d if he eats pork may he not grow swi- or or
III 2" "That may be, ;" said his opponent, =,
,ut when o man lives on nothing but -,
getables, think he is apt to be pretty 6s
all potatoes" I'll,
A. wide-awake, minister who found his
1gregatfOn going to sleep one Sunday,
fore he had fairly commenced, suddenly tut
pped and exclaimed, " Brethren, this Dr.
e fair; it isn't giving man a chance.
ait till get along, and then if it amt tn,
nth listening to, go to sleep; but don't wi
ore l get commenced; give a man a all
Ince."
HAITI NJ was queer genius. A neigh ora
; found him at work one day at an enor- yo
ma vuoo1nila sawiuO away for dear life ere