The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1870-07-06
Pepper Pods.
by JOSH BILLINGS.

IT, u hev got a spirited and noble
boy, appeal tew his generosity; if yu
have got heavy and sullen one, appeal
tew his back.
A crate menny 0v our people go
abroad few improve their minds who
hadn't emmy minds when they war at
home; knowledge, like charity, shud
begin at home, then sprcd.
Affiickshuns are the compliments
that Heaven pays few the virtewous.
Nobody but phool will spend hiz
time trieing teW convince pliool.
Time IL like money, the less we hay
Ov it tew spare the further we make
it go.
The tongue il really a very fast
member ov the body politiclz: he duz
all the talking and two thirds ov the
! thinking.
Thare IL menny person who kan
set n mousetrap tew perfeckshun, but,
not satisfied with sich small game, un-
dertakc few trap for bears, and Git
ketched by the bears. Moral study
yure genius, and stick tew mice.
Let him go, mi son." scd an ancient
father to hiz boy, who had caught a
yung rabbit, "and when he gifts bigger
ketch him agin.' The boy did az he
wuz told, and haz been lookin for that
rabbit ever since.
The world owes all its energys and
refinement tew MISUNDERSTANDING roots
for breakfast and going naked fol
clothes, liz the yirtewous innocence of a
lazy savage.
Thare IL lots of folks who eat we'll,
and drink well, and sleep well, and YET
are sick all the time-theze arc the
folks who alwuz enjoy poor health.
A person with little smattering ov
learning, IL good deal like a hens egg
that haz been sot on for short time
and then deserted by the hen-it is
spite for Matching out ennything.
"People ov good sense" are those
whose opinyuns agree with ours.
Thare IL CRATE deal of magnificent
poverty in our big citys-people who
eat klam soup out Ov tin basin
with gold spoon.
The place whar poverty, yirtew and
luv meet and worship together, liz the
most sakred spot in ti,is universe.
Exnerie;ice don't make man sc
bold az it duz so careful.
Pride never forgets itself, never has
a playspell or frolik; it liz stiff from
morning till night, from top to bottom
like sled stake.
There amt but very little ginowint
good sense in this world emmy how
and what little thare IL amt in mark
et-it is held for dividened.
, Those who have made up tlarc mind
two lead a life of enjoyment will fine
the following recipee a CRATE help tev
them; "To one ounce ov pleasure adj
a pound Ov repentance
Adversely liz poultess which re
.duces our vanity and strengthens on
virtew-even a boy never feels half St
: good az when he has been spanked
and sot away to cool.
Pedantry liz the science oy inyestin
what little yu know in one kind ov per
. fumery, and insisting upon stickin
= that under evry man knoze whom yO
:, meet.
Lieing is like tireing tew hide in
; fog, if you move about yure in da1ge
, Nv humping yure he'd asil the trutl
!. and az soon az the fog blows oph y
= are gone ennyhow.
4 Marrying an angeli;; the poetry {
: marriage, but living with her liz tn
!, prose, and this is all we'll enuff if til
: taste ov the poetry lIain't spite OF
4 relish for the proze.
!" The man who lives on hope mu:
:, pick the bones ov disappointment.
The devil is sed to be the father {
! lies. If this IL so, he hoz got lars
- family, and a CRATE menny promlsir
- children amung them.
y Life is like mug Of beer, froth
:. the top, oil in the middle, and settlin!
, at the bottom.
- We should liv in this life ez tho "
70. % war walking on slace ice, liable to f;
w at emmy moment; and tew be lauglit
h at by the crowd.