South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1870-07-29
W.T. AND IIUnIoE.


G2-' who tempted Eve !? asked Sun
Day School teacher Of young scholar.
The little fellow after few moments
thought, with an air of confidence, exclaim-
ed, It's the gentleman who lives in h-n;
I've forgotten lis name.
q BROTHER MAsoN.-Somc Young men
o. the town Of Il. having 'cut up one night
20 Tie detIinert Of some windows and bell
pulls were lodged in the calaboosc, and in
due time next morning, confronted with
Police Magistrate, who fined them each IS
and admonition. One of the three foolish
~ unmarked Judge, | was in hopes you
would remember me belonged to the
same Lodge with you The Judge appar-
emily surprised, replied with brotberly SYM
Pathy: 'Ah, is it SO? Truly this is bro
thor B. / did not recognize you; excuse
Inc for my dullncss. Yes We are brother
Masons, and [ should have thought of that
Mr.. Clerk; fine our brother b. $40. BE.
ing Mason, he knows better the rules of
pfopriety than other men Fine him $40.
You will pay tho Clerk, brother Good
morning brother T. Call the next case
Con. j. w. AND CAPT. j. D.-Col. j.
W, at one time prominent lawyer in this
county, attended Greene county Court. He
Imbibed rather freely in 'sperets,' as w
W NJ, used to say, upon that occasion and
going into the Court house, whilst the court
was in session, Old Capt. j. D. presiding,
with four associates, he made some sort of
motion, which the court would not consid-
-, which made him exceedingly angry and
rising from his seat and pointing his frger
10 the court, he said with an oath, Il will
BET five hundred dollars l can 90 into
Prices stable yard and select Eve mules
that will make better court than that
wheroupon the old Captain becoming very
much enraged, said, Col. W, DO you know,
Sir, who you arc talking to- Yes, SIR
said the COL, 4 am talking to the county
court of Greene. Piedmont TIrg
Et5-A woman applied to a magistrate for
summons against noighbor. she call.
cd me a thief, your worship. CANE | make
her prove it?' No doubt you could said
the magistrate 'but think You had bet
ter not
RIA Californian went to sleep in q rail-
road car and dreamed of snakes. To cs
cape them be di7od out Of the window when
going twenty-five miles an hour. Snakes
don't bother him now
GJ-A woman who never owned Bible
supposed she was quoting it when she greet
cd her son, who came home to keep Thanks
giving, in The following words Here comes
the fattcd calf
re- Glider Weasel, an Alabama negro
was arrested for choking his wife, and the
fo.giying partner Of GildoT's bosom attempt
cd to oxculpato the Wcazol By saying, OATS |.
dc way We plays
re- The Canton (Ohio) Democrat says
Care you in favor of roast rats or roast
beef? la favor of the white Constitution
Of Washington, or the Radical mongrcl
mix with negroes and Chincse|
GE'A Yarmouth master hired an Irish
man "a Green hand to assist in loading
lis sloop with malt. Just as the vessel /.
was about starting, the Irishman who was
jiogling the price Of his days work in his /
pocket cried out from the quay; Captain |
! lost your shovel overheard, but cut /
Zig notch on the rail fence around the
.tarn, right over tho spot where it went
doan, soyou'li find it when you come back
E2-I sympathizo sincerely with YOUR
grief said q French lady to a recently vi.
lowed friend. TO lose such husband
a7 yours'-'Ah, yes, he was very good
md then. you see, such misfortune is NJ.
ways great, for one knows what kind Of .
husband she has lost, but cannot tell what
Kind Of n man ono will find to succeed hin,
SzS'A down-East paper says that ror.
suasiyo and hunbugging agents oro about
IN that noighborhood selling Lightning rods .
Ono old lady told an agent shs had Bo f,,-
IF .isbtuiug, but She had Away. been afraid
# thunder.
Just so,' De replied; we can meet y5Yr
c'so exactly The square rods arc LIGHT.
ming rods, and tho round ones thunder. rods
E1-A bright little furycsr.old bow in
Detroit being called 90 go TO bsdatsn
earlier hour than suited his irclinaf9r
pc. tho following poser TO MS mother
Us tho moon me li'la arF mamma,
Yes INV chilli ,-,. tt.