davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
A Victim Of the TOothache,

| had the toothache yesterday. Tba,
internal little hollow tooth of mine held q
bushel Of ache. 1t ached clean down to
the toe OF my boot, it was regular q K
ache too My face swelled so much that
my most familiar creditor didn't know me-
I Gu woudn have wanted much of nv
Jaw. Every time the tooth thumred, it
lifted me clear off the chair. really
thought | would 60 crazy-you probably
think my fare wouldn't have cost me
much begged for a revolver to end nv
mOmentous days.
L remember OF a quart bottle of strvch-
nine in the house, IL got it and drank it ali
didn't even take the cork qpt-vI SUCKED in
discovered the label Old Rye on it
The labels played the mischief with my
Intentions. If it hadn't been for that la
bel
I ra1u uown on the tioor, rolled over and
Immediately got up. A good many peo>
pie who are depending on me for various
sums-hearing of my danger-of their
danger-came in to tell me what they did
not know was good for the toothache, but
begged me to do something as they were
sure | was not prepared to go yet
The ladies sympathized with me- One
said she had not had the toothache for
many years but hadn't a tooth in her
head. One old maid declared she had it
in her two front teeth very badly on the
day before but know, privately, that all
tooth, with the spirit Of aches, was beat
ing time to the music Of Fishers Horn.
pipe. | snatchcd the tong and ran ur
stairs and worked for fifteen minutes tc
pull the internal tooth, but it wouldn'
bulge an inch.
was crazier than 1 ever was in my life
fellow | owed, and paid him five dollars
| was so out ofmy head.
I neared the dentists door.
| asked him what he would give me tc
let him pull the tooth. He said laughing
gas told him it was 20 laughing mat
ter, and didn't want any of his gas. H.
told ME to sit down and enjoy myself anC
he'd pull it anyhow. | begged him t,
pull easy on it; he got his forceps on it
and | asked him what he'd take to let mi
off without pulling the tooth He told m
to hold on. | held on to his arm. A sec
ond and l thought my head had been
bombshell, and had busted. | asked tn
dentist If ny back bone had come up with i
aud felt Of my face to see if it was al
there
But the tooth was we'll out.
1t was the first time in his life he ha,
ever made the mistake of pulling tn
right tooth the first trial. Yes there Of
the table lay my little tooth still aching
away it was true to its instincts. Wheu
he asked me for his pay, | told him t
charge it. | was sure | had got in m
right mind again.
My face has gone down again. but
fatter Inyself l have still enough to d
business on.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

SKETCH OF A GENTLEMAN Moderation
decorum, and neatness, distinguish tho
gentleman he is at all lines affable, diff :,
dent, and studiousto please. Intelligent aud:
polite, his behavior is pleasant and grace
tul. When he enters the dwelling of an
interior, he endeayors to hide, if possible,
their rank in life ever willing to assizt
those around him, he is neither unkind,
naughty, nor roverbearing. In the mansions
OF the great, the correctness of his mind
induces him to bend to etiquette, but NOS
to stoop - adulation correct princi pies
cautions him to avoid the gaming table.
inebriety, or any other foible that could
occasion him self reproach. Pleased With
the pleasures of reflection, he reioices to
zee the gaeties of society, and is iastidious
upon no point 0! little import. Appear
only to be gentleman, and its shadow will
bring upon you contempt; be a gentlemani
and its henors will remain even after YOU
are dead
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

AS drayman was furiously be.tin. i,,'
lank, half starved mule, near the GuyeFi>,
ment Square, Havana, he was astopished!
to hear the animal exclain:
am,Enough you brute!'
The drayman looked aghast, and h~.
searched around his Cray and around h;.'
"o'11 81 Sc are are i brute :.
The drayman was dumbfounded and
trembled like an aspen leaf, and dropped
his whip as if stung by an adder. Flo
blessed himself. and Was abouts failing on
his knees, when he again heard:
Il was your mother once upon q
time -
This clapped the climax, and a Gentle:
man from the crowd who had gathered
around endeavored to explain to the ter
ror>stricken drayman that sometimes dis
embodied spirits return to the world
in the form of animals Just 1t thiS
time, Signor Blitz, accompanied by two
friends, who had just been looking on tho
strange scene and enjoying the fun, a6>
journed to the Union Coffee House, on
the helg ghboring corner, and left the crowd
endeavoring to induce the animal to speak
again, and the drayman embracing the
mule IN most flia! manner.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
The Ohio Double Child

The Delaware {Ohio) Gazette gives ,
tul! description of the double child" Of
which mention has been heretofore made
! III our columns:
len days ago the wife of Samuel Finley.
a farmer residing in Morry county. about
nVe miles southeast of Ashley, gave birth
10 one OF the most singular maItormations
OF tie human species ever heard of in any
age or country. The mother was not ,j.
lowed a sight of her offspring until after
the physician who had been summoned ar
rived, when it was exhibited to her, and
as We are told, caused her to svoon.
And We wonder, for human eye. probably
never looked upon such an anomsious de,
velopment in the human form. One of
our most prominent physicians, who has
seen and examined this strange freak of
nature, ,tavors us with the following
clear and accurate description:
This wonderful thing can be truly
called double child. There is but one
spine, ct each extremity there is a per-
fectly formed head and face. Each has
well formed shoulders, arms and hands,
ana good chest, and containing lungs and
heart as any other human being. Each
mas also stomach and liver. There is
put one naval, which is in the centre OF
DeGoe"j SIUiulSianG fIOm the two
heads. 1t Is at the middle of the BODY
that the two are grown together. The
abdomen appears to be but one, and the
organs contained in it, below the stomach
aud small Intestines are probably common
to the two. as there is but one external
outlet. Upon one side, at right angles to
the body. There is we'll formed pair of
hips, legs and feet. Upon the opposite
there Is one large leg (possibly..the con
solldation Of the two legs upon the ex
tremlty OF which there are toes. Most
monstrosities are repugnsnt to look upon.
This child, or those children are now
ten days old, and are doing as well as
children mos, do al that period of exist
eHoe. 1t nurses at both heads. One will
g asleep while the other is crying, and
ome,imes both will sleep or cry at the
same time. The neutral outlets from the
body are in their natural position between
the perfect pair of legs, and are common
to the two, there being no outlet upon the
opposite side. In sex it is female.
The length from the top of the other is
twenty inches. and the weight at birth was
ten pounds"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

There are no terms in our language sp>
plicable to such a phenomenon. It is
something Of which the dictionary max :,
ers have made no provision whatever, and
which utterly confounds all grammatical
rules as to gender person. Let anyone uri-
dertake to write about:it being precise As to
the meaning and application, of term, sud
he will at once recognize the poverty Of
language.
As might be expected, the house OF MI.
Finley has during the past zen days been
ovcrrun with visitors come to witness this
wonderful curiosity. So great is the press
that it has been necessary to charge an ads
mission fee, which is DOW fixed at one dol
lar. We understand the parents has Been
offered ten Thousand dollara for tho dual
infant, the offer being unconditional
whether it should live or not. The offer.
has not bocn, and probably Will not be-
accented.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
Rules Of Table Etiquette.

| True politeness has its origin in Chris.
tlan charity and kindness, and all stand
ara rules OF etiquette were founded for the
greater convenience and happiness Of the
members OF society. Although the res.
sons may not be obvious ut first sight they
exist and viii be apparent on careful con-
sidofaticn.
| ist. DO not keep others waiting for you
either at the beginning or close of tho
meal.
I'd Do not sip soup from the tip but
from the Il ie of the spoon.
Sd BE CAREFUL not to drop or spill any'
/ thing on the table cloth.
,,4th heep Your plate neat do not hasn,
all sorts OF food on it at once.
9th In passing your plate to be rehelpod
retain :he knife and fork
81 !" men asked for dish do not shove
but hand it.
1th While drinking do no. look around.
Sth Instruct the servant to hand the cur
at the LETT side so that Il n.ay be received.
by the right hand
9th Do not drink your tea or coffee With.
out hrst removing the teaspoon from the
cup to the saucer
10Th Use the knife for cutting only );
never put 1t to the lips nor in tho ,nh,,Yh,
llth Break your bread into small pieoes
ana rest them on your plate while sprcasl-
ing.
I2th. Do not eat too fast, besides rir.
ing one the appear ance of greed, i, is nos
healthy. " wv
18Th If you find anything unpleasant in.
your TODD put it aside as quietly as possi-
bic without drawing the attention Of others
to it. " ">"e''
l4th Do not open the lips nor make .ry
noise IN chewing.
18th Do not touch the head.
i0fh 10 not rest the elbow On the tabl...
IN 10 not speak with the mouth full.
iSfh Hrnsh tho table naailv hefnra br;ca.-
ing on the dessert.
18th Be thoughtful of and attentive In,
the wants of those about you:
Zoth Converse on pleasant subjects with
those sitting near you.
2lst DO not say anything not intended
iUr ali present to hear.
22d Leave your plate with the knife .ndi
'ork lying PARALLEL the handles pointing to,
The right.
23d Never leave the table before ethers
Without asking the lady or gentleman whV
presides to excuse you.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
THE WORN OUT FONT OF TYPE.

I'm sitting by my desk, George,
Before me on the floor
There lies wern out font of type,
Full twenty thousand score;
And many months have passed, George,
Since they were bright and new,
And many are the tales they've told
The false, the strange, the true.
What tales Of horror they have told,
OF tempest and of wreck;
vi murder in the midnight hour.
OF war full many "speck,r
OF ships that lost far out on sea
Went down before the blast
Of srifed cries of agony
As life's last moments passed!
Of earthquakes and of suicides,
OF falling crops Of cotton,
VI bank detaulters, broken banks,
and banking systems rotten
VI boilers bursting, steamboats, snagged,
Of riots, duels fought,
VI robbers with their prey escaped,
VI thieves, their booty caught.
Of food and fire and accident
These worn out type have told,
And how the pestilence has swept
The youthful and the old;
OF marriages, of births and deaths,
OF things to please and vex US,
Of one mans jumping overheard,
Another gone to Texas.
They've told how sweet summer days
Have faded from our view.
How autumn's chilling winds have swept
The leaf-crowned forest through;
HOW winters snow has come and gone
DARK reign of storm and strife
Ana how the smiling spring hath warmed
The pale flowers back to life.
l can't pretend to mention half
My inky friends have told,
Since shining bright and beautiful
They issued from the mould
How unto some they JOY have brought,
To others grief and tears:
Yet faithfully the record kept
Offast receding years
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

How He CANE THERE-Some years
ago lot Of fellows got out on ''bust"
for little time, when one of the number
was taken to the lock up. The next
morning the young man sent for friend
to get him out, as he did not care to have
his father know of his incarceration. The
friend arrived, when the following conver-
satlon ensued: ED, how did you -ome
here?' Il came by two majority. 1t
low up. The friend wa. so pleased With
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
ERNST KERN,

TSuccessor of Beer & Kern,1
nEALERS II Dry Goods, Groceries, Crock
~ cry, fancy goods, glassware, boots and
shoes, ready-ma'e clothing, paper hanginss
hats and caps, tow children's cabs, live geese
feathers, bird cages, kerosene oil and lamps.
&c A share of public patronage solicited.
Store on York street. near its intersection with
Eighth. August l, 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
DENTISTRY.

|DR. A. J. PATCHEN Dentist Office D
IL Shermans Brick Block, Eighth street,
danitowoc Wisconsin. Particular attention
iven to all the different branches of the pro-
es.ion, and all work warranted. Teeth ex-
| roct.d without main Aug. !, 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
ADAM ROBERTS,

Shop on the corner of Seventh and York
stree,, North Side, MANITowoC, Wis. Does
bill kind. Of iron work as good and cheap as
|Any other establishment i'll the city. Aug /
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

PHYSICIAN All Surgeon. Particular atten
/ ton paid to the treatment of difficult and
critical cases and to consultation. Also, EA-
amining Surgeon for Pensions. Office in tn.
building formerly occupied by kuehn Co,
bankers Orders left at I. & j. Robinson S
Drug Store will be promptly attended to-
Au1ast l. 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

A TTORNEY and Counsellor at Law. All
~ business entrusted to his care will be
promptly and faithfully attended to. Advice
honestly given, for which reasonable charge
will be made All parties liable to . sue and
be suedr please give me call. Be We net
deceivedr' Office on York Street, next door
to the Pilot Office, where he may be found
from A. NJ until Pm Aug. l, 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
&. BIELINE,

PROFESSOR of Music, &c, will give lessons
L in vocal and instrumental music in the vii.
laget Of Manitowoc and Two Rivers. Resi-.
dence on Eighth street, near the court house.
August l. 1870
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
ID. j. EASTON. Nj. D..

PHYSICIAN and Surgeon, treats all Acute
i Chronic and Surgical Diseases to winch
men, women and children are subJsct. ofhee
and residence corner of York and Seventh SITS
Orders left at the Drug Store of Bacon, Ihomos
L Co. will be promptly attended to.
August l. 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

A SAD case comes from Ottawa, Can
ada. A man came home with a leg of NUT
ton, and asked his wife to cook come OF it
for his supper, when she presumptously
refused to cook his mutton. This 80 dis
couraged him that he concluded 10 cook
his own mutton with the aid Of a rope. and
was found q cold corpse 10 the Kitchen.
This should be warning to women M: 10
refuse 70 ssea. their husband half way.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

SOME year. ago, at public dinner, =
Dltchman was one of the company; aud
during the banquet he paid SO much at
tention TO sucking pig Immediately in
from, Of his plate. that he devourcd the
entire animal. As he finished the ia.s
morsel, unctuous and savory, a bu.tlinE
v alter asked him what he would be helrai
dank you for one more of dem Iee.le'
hogs"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
FRED SCHROEDER,

Keeps al kinds Of meats, sausage, hams,
ard &c, which he Will sell at the lowest
prices, in quantity and kind to suit purchasers
Any ono having fat cattle, hogs ah~~r
sell -ylll call on me and receive the highest
pric,. August l, 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
UNION HOUSE.

Commercial St., near j. W Barnes store,
|EAHITowoC, Wis, Joseph Fulmer, Proprie-
or Best accommodations for the travelling
public. Terms cheap and satisfaction guaran-
|tssd. August | 1870
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
l.. KAISER,

PAPER HANGER AND UPHOLSTER,
Carriage Trimmer and Harness Maker,
York street, opposite Beer & kern's store,
Manitowoc, Wis. Recommends himself IN
these branches and promises to execute all
work with pronptness aud IN the best style
Augl.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
JOSEPH SYNIES

nEALER in STOVES; also, manufacture
- of Tin, sheet-iron and Copper Ware A
kinds of Repairing done Shop on Eight ST.
nearly opposite the First National Bank
August | 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
FRED. ISANSCIl.

.VTTATCHMAKER AND JEWELER All
w kinds of repairing on watches and jew
slry done at reasonable prices, and satisfac-
sion guaranteed. York Street, Manitowoc,
August . IS70
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
EDWARD CONWAY

DAYS THE HIGHEST CASH PRICE FOR
i WLeat and other produce. Office on the
corner Of Buffalo and Eighth streets, Mani
towoc, Wis. Augl
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
f. II. TREAT,

4 TTORNEY and Counsellor at Law Col
~ lections promptly aJteh led to- Office on
Buffalo street, between Eighth and Ninth
August l. 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

A teacher, cstechising his scholars. put
the folowiDg question: ''W hat was made
10 give light to the world p Matches, u
cried one Of the youngsters:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
EDW ARD CONWAY,

COMM SION NJ ER CT II A n I
GRAIN AND PRODUCE DEALER,
Office corner of Eighth and Buffalo streets
Warehouse, corner of Sixth and Commerclal
s,reet,. Manitowoc, Wis Aug l, 1870.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
Dickey and Susan,

Dickey was poor-Susy had a rich
mother-DicSey loved Sasy, ard uice nersa
Dickey wanted to marry-Susan' mother
was down on the meaSure-Dickey was
forbade the premises-noses were ex
changed through knot hole in a high
board fence that closed the yard. One
day the old lady went out ealing and
Dickey was duly informed Of the fact-re.
mained little too long-the old lady was
close at hand-no chance for escape with
out detection at the entrance of the old
lady, Dickey popped into the closet; old
lady saw that Susy looked confused
guessed that Dickey had been about, and
supposed of course, he mad rendered good
his escape; thought perhaps the yvaHg
couple agreed to elope together-deter
mined to be too smart for them-accord'
ingiy shut Susy up in the same closet
where Dickey was concealed, and giving
her pair of quilts and pillow locked
her up tor the night-didn't see Dickey-
next morning went to the closet, to let
Susv out
"Oh, Lord - scream-couldn't get
breath for moment Firsly:
"Ahem? Dickey, is that you?'
"Ies, ma am.
'Dickey, you must stay to break
! FAST"
"Couidu't ma arn'
ooh, out you must"
''Dickey concluded to stay.
| Breakfast table
"Dlckey, have been thinking about
you a great deal lately
You are Industrious and honest, |
| hear"
Il never brag, ma'am.
"Well unon the whole, Dickey | thinh
you and SuY had better get married.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
II. s. PIERPONT.

A TTCkNEY at Law, Two Rivers Will at
n tend to collections and other business in
Asnitowoc county and vicinity.
August ], 1870,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01

Nothing LIKE GRAMMAR. Better 60
without COW than go without that.
There are numberless professor" who
CO. tramp, tramp, tramp, my boys!
around the country, peddllng weak arti-
Gle, by which. in twenty days, they guaran-
tee to set man thoroughly up in the Eng
lish language.
An instance in point comes from Green
vile, Alabama, where a professor had
labored with the youth of that people, and
taught them to dote on grammar according
to Morris system. During one of the
| lectures the sentence Mary milks thc
COW" was given out to be parsed.
! Each word had been parsed save one,
which fell to Bob L, a sixteen year old
near the foot of the class, who comm enced
thus:
Cow is noun, feminine gender, sin
gular number, third person, and stands 70,
! Mary"
How do you make that out p
! Because" answered the noble pupil
''if the COW did not stand for Mary, hoN
could Mary milk her?'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1870-12-01
j. ID. MARKHAM

A TTORNEY and Counselor at Law Office
n on corner Of Eighth and Quay streets,
Hanitowoc, Wis Aug. !. 1870.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-09-08

not christians, and had not felt the grace
Of God in their hearts, and.thsreforc were
not moved in the great work by love and
love alone for the cause of Christ. 7
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-09-08

the friends of the cause that the good work
would 20 on in his county, until men,
women and children would be called to the
fold of God.
s. The Committee ON Business next re-
ported ~ follows;
Evening meetings for street preaching,
at corner of Eighth street and Commercial
avenue, to be conducted by j. b. Turner
of Shawneetown. Tow
A meeting forthc colored people, corner
Fourteenth and Walnut streets, led by
Prof. j. II. johnson. sF
Meeting of tho Association at 8 o'clock,
pm, q the market house. Subject for dis.
cussion: 80 az
NHow shall we secure tho so-operation
Of parents In the Sabbath school work ~
Payer by Mr.. Newbigsn, Of Anna
4 A dispatch from Mr.. Reynolds express
ing regret that urgent business would pre-
vent his attendance, was read by thu
chair.
The Rev. Mr.. scott pron9uncel Che ben
scdictisn, whom. the coAsentioh adjoarned
,pnll 2oalockCE;
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-09-08
TO be continued tomorrow }
The BALL on MONDAY MONT

TIE BALL oS MONDAY NiGHT.-The
ball in tho market house, on Monday night,
promises to be one Of the largest ever held
in the city. The building will be brilliantly
lighted with gas, the bcsi music and
pronpters to DO had in the city will be on
hand, and every other arrangement, for the
enjoyment NATURALIZATION Of those in at.
tendance, will be duly looked TO- The OBJ
ject Of this ball, as announced by Us yes
terday, !. to r"plenish the treasury Of the
Cairo Orphan A'ylum--at this time in
rather II depleted condition. The lady
managers ..of the asylum will serve ice
cream, cake and lemonade 70 the crowd,
and thus, TO some extent, at least, contrib
ute 10 the success of the end aimed at.
Tickets can be procured ut Rockwell and
Harmon bookstores, st the ST. Charles
Hotel, or from lady agents who viii can
yass the city.
The Cairo daily bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1870-1872, 1870-09-08
RIVER NEWS.

The weather continues clear and tho
days are warm. Thermometers rises to So
degrees during the war; est portion of the
day The nights are very beautiful and
pleasant, and arc hugely enjoyed by lover,
moonlight hours were made for love
Tho river has risen seven inches since
last report.
The river has risen seven inches since
last report.
The Mississippi continues rising about
half an inch per day at st. Louis and i've
and half feet water is now reported at
Liberty mud other bars above Cairo. The
Rubicon reports only seven feet at Island
"a. whore the Lee was so long aground,
but say, the channel had began to cut out
rapidly and there would certainly be ten
feet water by to-day.
Business here continues good
At II meeting of the coal exchange OF
Pittsburg, on Tuesday last, resolution
was adopted TO notify the the authorities
of Cincinnati, and all other parties who arc
engaged in building bridges or other OBJ
struc,ions to The free navigation Of the
Ohio river to proceed no further in such
wrong doing, and il they continue after
such notice, nm injunction Is 70 be applied
for to stop them by law. This isa step in
the RICH, direction. Steamboats, have
more right TO the river than railroads, and
IT Is crying shame that the latter have
50 long been allowed to obstruct the river
commerce Of the great Wcst which j.,
[ many hundred timc' greater than that If
! the railroads.