Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1870-11-12
JERSEY LIGHTING
Josh billings Tells what he knows
About II,

Who ii was that invented alcohol
am unable tew tell without Icing but
il would hay been fuss klass blessing
for the rest of us if he and the Ticker
had both ov them been split on the
ground and never been sopped up
| since.
The devil himself, with all liz &C.
MUS for 4 tcn.Strikc could not hay
rolled A ball more seryiceablo for hi
bizncss on earth one more certain TO
quarter on the head pin, and sweep
the alley every time. Rum IL he
devils stool-pigeon, hiz right bower,
hil high, low, jack and the game.
\ CRATE meuny, with dyspeptic
morals, argy that lickor is indispinsi-
Bile for manufacturing and docktor
purposes, and also for mechanical
uses and they hold that yu kouldent
raise a barn that would stand without
emmy goou old Jamaka rum and sum
say that pudding sass, without emmy
speeri,s in il Emo healthier than COM
mon goose grecse.
But awl Of these argys are furnished
free of kDst, by the devil himself, and
emmy man who advances them IL telling
(without knowing it, perhaps,) lies
that will weigh, at a ruff estimate, at
least a pound apiece, Butmy objeckt
in these tu preliminus remarks IL teW
get s good chance to tell what know
about Jersey lightning zone Of al.
cohol's imps!) IS a MANIPULATING and
metaphysical agent.
jersey lightning is cider brandy
three hours old, still-born, and quick.
| er thana fash. This Juice IL drunk
raw by all the old sports and makes d
premonltory and Kissing noize as il
: winds down the thIut, like al old slit
goose setting on eggs, or hot iron
9 stuck into ice-Water. Three horns 1
d0y oy this Ticker will tan a man:
) interior III six months, so that he kal
swallow a i've, siX-tooted krab, feet
fUst, and not waste a wink.
S Ii don't fat a man cider brandy
don't like whiske duz, but pucker;
e him NJ like fried potatoze. If a mar
survive thu fust 3 years Of jersey
: lightning, he IL safe then fer the mex.
seyenty-tiyC years tew cum, and keeps
looking every day more like q three
year I'D red pepper pod, hotter ant
! hottie An old cider brandy drinkeI
c will steam in a sudden shoWero Of rail
: like q pile Of stable manure, and hi
5 breath smIls like the bunghole of
) ruiz cask ! ,tely emptied.
L Wn'n Jersey lightning IL fust born
{ it taste like b cling turpentine an(
cayrnc, half-anu-half, and will raize
blood blister on a pair oy old kow
c hide brogans in i minutes, and ap
plie3 externally will eure the ruma
= tism yrkill the patient, | forget which
The .ust horn 4 man takes over thi
5 likor win make him think he ha
Z swallowed O s3s light and he will &
; out bonind he barn and try tew dy'
{ but .ant. The eyes of an old cider
brandist look like deep gashcs KIT in
to a ripe tomato, hiz no1e is the som
! pieXion ola alf-biled lobster and tn,
i grille in his gullet sticks out like CT
: clbo ina tin lender.
i The more villainous the drink tnt
> more inveterate are those who drinl
: 1t. kant tell yer whether eide.
: Drandce will shorten all old sucker.
day or not, ttr they generally out
vG all the rest ov the Majors, and dit
: lst as 500 as the old tavern stant
tlanges hands and IL opened on tenn
! perance principals. One bottle o
sarsaparilla or ginger popp IL az fata
tew these old fellers az rifle ball 4
t to a bed bug.
| would do almostc enything, bu
! murder tew save q yung man from
! Jersey lightning, but il is like triein.
tew put the fire out oy q holler log
yu might az well let it burn up, 70
. the ashes IL wort more than the logg