The Placer herald., 1870-08-13
The War.

We have received the follwing communi-
cation from man who has been battered be-
cause of his neutrality on the war question:
EDITOR UNION AS guide to the peo-
pie Of this commonwealth, and as a conserv-
ator of the public morals, wish you to in
form my personal friends, Jean Paul, Hans
Snappenhauser, and John Boeuf, that here
after am an armed neutrality, and that |
won't stand any more nonsense. The cause
of it is this: the above friends of mine are
so far Amercanized as to drink ''ager," and
so am |. We meet casually, every evening
at the same palatial resort and when one
happens to be able to pan out two bits, he
calls for quart of beer with one big and
two small glasses. The person who orders
snatches the big glass. That's a mutually
conceded privilege. We met last night and
as we had made strike, | ordered half
gallon. The first round we drank was de-
voted to the weather, of course next to the
Chinese, and then Hans had to chip in with
was does you drinks Vas about the warp"
Jean Paul of course said ''By gar, re Fran
Gals will wheep re hell out of re Prusse. 3"
John Bouef slung in his lip and said, "not
by a bloody sight yer know" They all
rose to their feet excitedly. calmed them
down by grabbing the beer measure Seats
were resumed, when Hans said to me-
Mem Herr, | leaves EN- ter you; vas not
der France whip more as der yermans, in
every dimes dey have fought, don't it, say?"
| told him that | really could not say-Jean
Paul broke in "Mon Deu Wy not say; you
should not be ashamed tell re trut." John
B. said "Bloody my hyes, hain't you asham-
ed" The quarrel became general and
each of the three friends piled me with ques-
tons, all at the same time. They insisted
that | should say which nation would whip
Hans made proposition: "Gentemens,
pets any mans tri huntret dollar dat de Prus-
Sc vips der France. | arose to my feet and
told them that they seemed so patriotic with
their coin they should use it in taking hosts
to the armies at war, and to help their diff
ferent causes. AS an American it was none
of my funeral, and | hoped it would be a tri-
angular Kilkenny cat-fght, and that man
showed less by $500 in coin bet than by 3
drops of blood shed, and-just then felt
severe shock of earthquake and thought the
tin roof and all the windows had fallen on
my hcau, anu oiidt 1iicy htPt iduHlS lOT SOIHc
time. After the several shocks ceased, a
kind friend jerked me out of doors, and
kindly invited me home by saying, "to hell
IT. yer" | took the invitation in the spirit
it was given, and midnight luminary light
ed me home.
This morning felt as if l had been on
picket duty for a series of weeks with the
other picket only twenty yards off.
| since ascertained that my friends all
took umbrage at my remarks and showed
their gratitude for my hospitality by break
ing the tin measure and the glasses over my
head. ! murmured "das ish all right !"
But mentally swore never to be an arbtra-
tor in an international quarrel again; likewise
ifI did, would only do it in another room
with four doors; also, well heeld. More
over, will never, nerer, NEVER order a
half gallon of beer for such crowd unless
some one pays for it in advance.
Bigheadedly yours,
p. S. | see no reply to my challenges
Grass Valley UnlOn.