Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1870-09-07

| 4 was olu enough 10 teii lles. l nave
secuted around pretty extensively among
the different organizations. I've been an
Orangeman, and Fenian, and Good
Templar, and Counterfeiter, and also a
Knight of Malta. | have belonged to
the Sons of Temperance, and the Odd
Fellows, and the Young Mems Christian
Association, and the Band of Hope, and
baud of burglars. I've been into ev-
erything, and thought | knew everything
almost, but | didn't. Three months ago,
[ became infatuated with Masonry, and
since Joined that organization. I've dis
covered that there are several things con
nected Herewith, that outsiders don't
know just pretty good deal about
Now, Mr.. Editor, ! propose making these
secrets public, not out of compassion for
my fellow men, who may be tending to-
wards Masonry, and act ms a warning.
aud so on, because havn't got a spark
of human kindness in my breast and
would rather see every mothers son put
to the torture, than not, but because |
have q spite against the fellows who in
itiated me, who made the irons too hot,
and the goat too risky, and treated inc
with roughness, generally, that the oc
casion did not warrant. 8
Before Eliminating my narrative / will
state. for the benefit of those who don't
know, that Masonry is about six hundred
thousand years old. 1t was old when
the fraternity got into trouble at the tow
or of Babel, and it was old when Adam
put on his apron first as Grand Master
in the Eden Lodge. As Il more conyin-
cling proof of its antiquity, | would just
mention that party of miners the other
day in one of their excavations, came up
on the petrified remains Of a Masonic
lodge with the members in their places
and all completes. and eminent biologists
who have examined the fossils are of The
opinion that these bodies have been i'm
bedded in the rock for mora than fifteen
thousand years. ~ A7# ~
On the evening [ was to be initia ted |
made my will and took " most affecting
leave of my family. Thus prepared, |
started fol. tie lodge, accompanied by
Brother John Smith, S. X. S. p. T., who
waste ''see me through" We had no
difficulty in getting past the first Gu
trance; but when we knocked at the Sec
ond. fat little fellow looked out through
q round hole in the door, aud put this
startling iasticatory to Brother Smith:
Observation-Disclosures, to which
Brother Smith replied cheerfnlly, nix-my-
dolly-whack doc. The little fellow then
said: Observation-Disclosures and
my conductor giving satisfactory an
swer we were permitted to enter. Before
! had time to look about me a long leg
ged scoundrel knocked me over with n
club; he then stood me on my feet and
another marauder made rush at me
and bro ught me down again. After |
bad undergone this exhilarating exercise
for five minutes, they stretched me out
on bench and examined my teeth, and
pinched muscles. and stuck pins into me
all over, and showed cayenne pepper up
my nose, and poured moulten lead into
my trowsers pockets, and pulled hairs
out of the back of my neck, with red hot
pincers, with view, | suppose, to make
me feel unembarrassed and at home.
x K 4 =
When | came TO my senses was alone
in the ante room of the lodge. 1t was a
lively and cheerful apartment. A couple
of crocodilcs were amusing themselves in
corner, and few full grown rattle
snakes were practising the flying trapeze
on the stove pipe. The furniture conss-
ed chiefly of half dozen mummies, the
skeletons Of Captain Kidd, Lucretia Dor.
gia, Guy Fawkes,. Jack the Giant Killer,
Oliver Cromwell, the Wandering Jew,
William the Conqueror. Christopher Col
umbus, and Dick Turpin; flying ma
chine. three barrels of gunpowder, and
a remarkably healthy and well developed
wild cat. Just then half dozen pirates,
clad in aprons and sashes. rushed into the
room with whoop. One of them, the
biggest and ugliest, who appeared to be
the chief ordered the attendants in a
voice of thunder. to trot out the animal.
The attendants disappeared but immedi
ately re-appearsd, leading an iron clad
goat, regular double decker with six
teen horns, pair of wings. and seven or
eight tails stuck all over him. Ny eyes
were bandaged and | was told to mount.
| said, gentlemen. if you'll excuse me |
would rather not. I'm not accustomed
to going up in balloon; besides I've got
an engagement down town. Ny wife
wants to see me particularly I'll be
back in few minutes; I rather think
my house is on fire, but III be back in a
few minutes, yes. gentlemen, in few
Before could firish my sentence | was
seized from behind and planted firmly
astride of the Internal goat. Somebody
then said let go, and away we went. I've
been through a good many perilous
scenes; I've taken part in an election
fight; I've been down in railway coils
ion, and up in steamboat explosion. -
I've fallen down three flights Of stairs.
and walked out of a fourth story window,
but this goat excursion was little ahead
of them all. When | come to reflect on
the matter in cold blood, | wonder that
ever came out alive. The furious beast
kicked and screamed, ard rolled over, and
turned back sonersaults, and trout som
ersaults, and drove me against the ceiling
M and orna. III ft,o chairs I'LL tho han.