The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-03-18
EnCOmic Letters.

LacOnic Letters.
Laconic epistles are naturally suggested by
quaint and pithy ones. The name of Dorset
reminds me of an amusing correspondence
between two noble lords-the date of which
l am unable to specify-somewhat in the
following terms:-
"My Dear Dorset:-I have just been married, and
am the happiest dog alive.
(Slgne6 "BERKRLEY."
"My Dear Berkeley Every dog has his day!
(Signed) DORSET"
Perhaps ought to state that my authority
for this correspondence is bachelor of more
than seventy Summers
From the same source 1 have received seve-
raj other good examples of laconic letters,
some of which l shall here introduce: ga
husband to his wife on sailing suddenly for
North America:
'My Dear Wife II am going to North America.
Your affectionate husband"
To which she thus replied
- "My Dear Husband:-I wish you happy voyage.
Your affectionate WIFE"
young man when at college addressed his
uncle, on whose hberality he entirely de-
pended, as follows
'My Dear Uncle Ready for the needfu. Your
afectionate nephew"
To which the uncle replied
"My Dear Nephew:-The needful is not ready.
MIR. James Sibbald, editor of the ''Chroni-
cles of Scottish Poetry" was man of excen-
tricity and humor. For three or four years
he resided in London, without letting his
Scotch friends know anything of his proceed
ings, or even where he lived. At last his
brother, q Leith merchant, found means to
get letter conveyed to him, the object of
which was to inquire into his circumstances,
and to ask where he reseed. Sibbald sent
the following laconic reply
"Dear Brother-I live In Soho, and my business is
$3.50. Yours, JAMES SIBBALD."
In the second series of his recent and most
interesting work entitled "Half-hours with the
Best Letter-writers and photographers, Mr..
Charles Knight gives an amusing example of
laconic correspondence between Samuel Foote,
the Aristophanes of his day, and his unfortunate
mOther:-
"Dear SAM am in prison for debt; come aud
assist your loving mother. E. FooTE."
Reply
@ Dear Mother-so . am I, which prevents his duty
being paid to his loving mother by her arectionate
son, SAM. FOoTE."
I lately met with curious account of a
| courtship on the other side of the Atlantic,
| at the end of the seventeenth century, in
which very brief epistle holds prominent
place. Ia 1893, the Rev. Stephen Mix made
| journey to Northampton in search of q wife,
He arrived at the Rev. Solomon Stoddard's,
and informed him of the object of his visit.
Mr.. Stoddard introduced him to his six
daughters, and then retired Addressing Mary,
the eldest Mr.. Mix said that he had lately
settled at Wethersfeld, was desirous of OBJ
tanning a wife, and concluded by offering his
heart and hand. The blushing damsel replied
that so important proposal required time
for consideration; and accordingly Mr.. Mix
left the room in order to smoke pipe with
her father, while she took the case to ''avizan-
dunn" On her answer being sent for, she
requested further time for consideration, and
it was agreed that she should send her answer
by letter to Wethersfeld. In the course of q
few weeks, Mr. Mix received her reply, which
was soon followed by the wedding:-
NORTHAMPTON, Sd Nov. 1893.
MARY sToDDARD"
few years before the death of the Duke
of wellington, captain in certain regiment
of heavy dragons, which had been ordered
to the Cape, applied to his Grace, as com
mander-in- chief, for permission to negotiate
transfer to another corps. The Duke
merely turned up the corner of the letter ant
wrote the three significant words, ''Sail, o.
sell, and sent it back to the unfortunate
writer.
According to Punch, Sir Charles Napier
despatch to the authorities, announcing tn,
capture of Scinda, was cleverly expressed il
a single Latin word-to wit, ''peccdCi' Il hav,
sinn'd).
In reply to O touching letter from a lady
announcing the death of her husband Talley
rand simply wrote: 'Helas! Madame" No
very long afterwards the same lady wrote t,
inform him that she had married another hus
band, an officer in the army, for whose pro
motion she urgently pleaded. On this occa
sion the statesman's reply was as brief a
t before:-"Ho, no! Madame. "-Set0ns G0sSi
about Letters and Letter. Writers.
|