Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1870-03-11
Amusing Blunders of the Telegraph.

ascertain from the proper authority,
whether they were devoid Of danger.
Amusing Blunders OF the Telegraph.
THE annals of the telegraph would, II
carefully searched, furnish list of errors
as long and certainly amusing as those
attributed to the press. We offer few
examples of the mistakes occasionally
made by the lightning when II under
takes to act as postman, or rather by those
whose duty II Is to mail the letters.
A gentleman residing In New York,
who was shortly to be married, had en-
gagged a Protestant Episcopal bishop of
one of the Western States to perform the
ceremony. Some weeks before the period
originally fixed for the wedding the father
of tho lady was taken suddenly and dan
gerously i'll, and expressed wish that his
daughter should be married as speedily as
possible for fear that he should not live to
witness her nuptials. The bridegroom
expectant accordingly telegraphed to his
friend the bishop respecting the change
of date, but as he wrote very illegtble
hand, the astonishment of the right rever-
end gentleman may he imagined on re-
coiving the following dispatch: 81 sm to
be tried on Thursday. Can you come and
protfer your testimony" The message
really sent was: al am to be married on
Thursday Can you come ON and per-
form the ceremony
The next instance we shall give was
rather more annoying in its results. A
Philadelphian, being on visit to New
York, and wishing to gladden. the hearts
of two of the New York bellies by offer
ing to them some of the unrivalled pro-
duction of our Philadelphia greenhouses,
telegraphed TO one of the leading florists
for two hand bouquets. This message was
transformed into two hund, bouquets
and we can picture the gentleman
dismay when he received box con
tanning one hundred and eighty
superb bouquets, accompanied by a
letter from the florist, informing him
that the remaining twenty should be for
warded as soon as the necessary flowers
could be procured, the resources of his
green house having proved inadequate to
furnish the number required. Naturally
the gentleman refused to pay for the on,
hundred and ninety eight bouquets whicl
he had neither ordered nor wanted. TIT
florist sued him, lost the suit, and thel
commenced proceedings against the tele
graph company with better fortune, thi
second suit being decided in his favor.
A story is told of a young genslemaI
residing in one of our large cities, whC
was a member of small social club. Hi
most particular and intimate friend among
the members thereof was a youth who
had gained for himself the sobrique. O
"Sarah's Young Man." from his devotion
to that once popular air, which in some
form or other-either sung, whistled o.
hummed--was seldom absent from hi
lips To this club our hero, whom w
will christen Mr.. X, one day founC
himself called upon to announce his ap
preaching marriage, and his consequen
withdrawal from their circle. After thu
usual congratulations had been tenderet
and accepted, and the usual lamentation
uttered the members decided upon ten
dering to their mstrimonially disposed
and seeding comrade farewell dinner
to take place as early as possible after tn
termination of the wedding-tour. Th
marriage took place, and Mr.. and Mrs
x started on their bridal journey
which terminated in that usual destina
tion of newly-married couples-Niagar
Falls. Mrs. x was the mos
affectionate and charming of brides
and her husband was, of course
the happiest of men. The period Q
their stay at the Falls was nearly ended
when one day Mr.. X, on returning T.
his room after q short absence, was AZ
tonished to find his wife In a state l
which indignation and Mysteries wer
struggling for the mastery. She assaile
him with a torrent of reproaches He wa
a wretch-a villain; she was miserable
ill-used, wretched woman. She woul
leave him; she would go home to he
motherl And here Mysteries got the VI
per hand, and she burst into passion
tears. "Wha. is the matter?" the amaze
husband at last found breath to ejaculat
"Read, sir-read " sobbed the poor litt
bride pushing toward him an open yello
envelope. az thought there might be bs
news from home, and opened 1t; and
oh-oh-oh-" Here she broke dow
again, and Mr.. x unfolded the In
portant document which had product
such startling effects, in state Of utter b
wilderment 1t was telegram, and 1t ra
as follows
"Our spree is fixed for the Goth. Don
forget We will have a glorious time. -.
"Yours ever, SARAH B. YOUNGNAN."
"There, sirl" cried Mrs. X. Ho
can you ever dare to look me in the la
againS Who is this Sarah Youngmar
and what do you mean by promising
90 on n spree WIN ucI Z anu Ou Ju2e AAo
ried too You are a wicked" Here
shout of laughter from Mr.. x inte
rupted the flow of his wife's eloquenC
He had been staring blankly at the d
patch, and suddenly the whole. aha
flashed across his mind. The telegra
was in reference 10 the promised Dime
his facetious friend had been entrust
: with the forwarding OF 1t, and he b
signed the dispatch Sarah's Young Ma
4 IA signature which the telegraph opel
tors had seen fit. Intentionally or oth'
I wise, to alter TO Sarah 3. Youngman.
soon as his irrepressible laughter uou
{ allow him TO speak, he explained the m
+ take TO his wondering and indignant wi
who, however, being sensible little
! man, was speedily appeased, Joined In
d laugh, and to-day numbers Sarah b. 4 ou1
!, man among her most warmly welcom
r visitors. Lippinc0tt's Magazine.
ThE Muncie, Ind, Times has this to 8
OF a female fiend " in that county;
her cruelty she literally drove two OF b
daughters from her TO seek home amo
d strangers. She beat and bruised them
+ t.i they were forced 70 fly from her pr
J. ence. The last thing she did to them "
n To take as many pins as she could In
q hand and rake up and down their ar
u \, ith the points She also took the orph
4 child, living with her, and put II in a ?
4 N.aNn ina a