, 1870-07-17

exclaimed: STUN ont turn ont ns fathers
dead !" Upon which the stranger, with much
Nffrnity, turned out and gxye him the eatita
rosd, After he had got fairly by. tue stranger
turned and inquired Of him when hls fasher
died :: TO which tho Grief-hs1EoNed citizen re-
snnnacd. about fftecn ses1s ago."
Al Plymouth there il, or vas, Small green
onnusito the Government House. oSez which,
NJ, enc was permitted to pass. Not creature
vas allowed to approach, save The Gene1ass
cow and the gentry yha ssa rsnntn1ed 10 efoss e
forLiuden turf. One dsy old Lady D, h,7-
iuc callca al the Generals, in order TO tnase
short cut, bent her steps across the iaxn,
when she Was arrested BY the senstY ealnhs
out, and desiring her to raIara anT h 60 asn ,as
said lie could not diso. cy orders. Luz.
said Lady D-w with stately air, "do you
know who LAM" NJ don't know who you
may be, rna'sm, )" replied THO in'mosah!o sen-
trv, "but know who yoa alut-you an tne
Generals cow!"
"A good story Is told Of Dz. ste.ya AID
Henry %ard Beecher. On some public oce,.
eioa Dr. storrs was to preach u Plymouth
Chn1ch; Atte5 tAs Celebrates naa g1t c,so ;lhs2
Stons, directly under where you will stand 70
preach Is baptistry Of the most approved
pattern. It vas built By Jealous Baptist.
snd il just the orthodox length and depth.
nv foot. There is ut this time about threo
Fee, Of water in The tank. When = brother
! rreachee for me, and is very long and very
| drr. ! tcnch the spring and let him in.'
sen, m'f for Fss"c FEE c lpTcs Clergyman. HaTins
son:e fears regarding his future prospecta. ha
seled the reverend gentleman: $ 1'o you
THINK if were to Leave f1A,o0o to the FREQ
Kirk that my soul would he sared'' j" Well"
| aneue1c.l the cautious minister, d couldn't
just prumise you that, bat lnik it'a al
| exEetincnt well worth tIylnE.
sam lived Oh tie Banks Of sLe Da,a-
ware, and vas a mighty hunter. He VISA
Plagned With : degenerate son. who mani
fested no predilection for his fasher's pursuits:
Ono day SANS patience gave out entirely. and
he exclaimed in the bitterness Of Ills E1orti.ic4-
ton, ACuss me, Tom, it you're not getting
perfectly worthless; you will neithor hunt NOT
s.5oo,! ssS, + FL lie h'nssd ii I don't sand you to
When does shakspea aEe siy4 an insssaee q
the cure Of consumption: Wl:c,l tho Duke OF
Gloucester stops King Heary's coffin.
"A little SRI Who hsa been studying, At
crab, remarked to her mother, - I hope God
did not hurt himself when he was making
him."
A t1sitorons woman avows the belief that
| it all tie men were in one country, anu Ill tlR3
women III smother. with Zig river between
theu,. lots Of poor women would be cruwued-
An errinG Indiana hen WAS recently found
| in the back part of hardware store. whero
| tie misguided fowl had struggled for three
weeks. Trying TO batch out d''zeu white
porcelain loor-ki'oos- She "as very much re-
ds,ced.
A noble red map, named John. recently
settled in New Loulon, couli., s.ands sl1 feet
two iuchea in his noccssns, and his Amar1-
c.nized defendants proudly inquire, - How
=" Jenuy, said a Iandladv 10 her help, tho
o,l.er morning "Jenny, waa tlate any fire
in Tue kitchcn last night. while. you we're sit
ting rp:" Only inst spark. mann. was
/ The reilly. The landlady looked suspiciouslJ
. at Jenny, hut the innocent gill went on scrub
: hing. and hu1un,ing 'tka.y Darling"
E "A hint for Mr. Sehenck. Swift AL ono time
= proposed to pus tax on ft:aale beauty, and
!, 10 Leave every lady 10 rate her own ehszms
), would te yesE productive.
> An Irish Glrl wLo plumel herself on being
employed in : tgenteel family" Was asked q
definition Of the term Who're they have
two or three kinds Of wind and the gentlemen
q SWEAR was the reply,
0 A cautious hok arnnni lie st0le-
= His bags Of ct.uk he chunk
r And nzns E!ckt+l smile he sruule-
q And manv a wink he Tunl!
G Il couple Of fellows who wero pretty thor
= | onEhIy soaked with bstt whiskey got into the
: gutter. After aou1Nierlng about for few min
!. utee, one OF them said . jim. let's go to an
d | other house-tlliH hott1 leaks
. --Biehop Ayner said tils in the rrescnca Of
l. Quecu Ellzahe,h. II lie had raid it to Hiaa
O Anthony what. s.~oud have been the RESULT ?
l. Women ATE tf two tpFt4; some OF them AKA
: wirer, better learned. d.ecrce:er, aud Inors
j. cnvs,an. than a number Of meu: but anothe'
' ard wo1ss sort Of them, and the most part
i, arc ! nd. foolish, wanton 1isbergits, tattlors
4 t1ite1s, wa1cring, vitlcss. without counsel
>, f,elle. careless. rash. proud, dainty, nico
a talc.bsaten: eaves.lroppesa: rHnlol-ralsets:
r w;ss .solt1hed with tho d1cgs Of tho devil
ID InnI.tin..
a gentleman whose opportunities in earl
" life were somewhat neglected. albeit he La
al ausas>el enug fortune, Was recently enter
ot timing a. party Of geurlemsn II his ho,sse
ii | general survey Of the apartments. the iloa
T. called his euests@ attention 10 slouy carl,e
lis ol. ohe Of tile apartments, with remark
Al There. gentlemen, tilat IL ono OF the bea
lie | carI!etB Mr.. Eru.aels ever made
IT, ~ recent writer upon the 4NIalt and SEM
&C. tic religious speaks OF '.Elt Shu ~ one {
cl sLs eldest Chinese ,leties. Whora is the n
re cally pagiariss who claims 'Shoo Flyf
Is. III sympathlxo sincerely with your EI1ef
u- said a French lady to : Recently "adowe
To- friend. 10 lvse euch a husband a. yours
ne | - .Ah- yce, he was very goA: and then, *
ed see. such misfortune is always great. for OF
in knows Whist Kind Of husband nhe 1as lua
ID but cannot tell what kind Of man one "
ic) | fild to succeed him
H., we'll that cuds Wells"
OF The Secretary of ar has been 90 bu
ri, lately with the Fenisus that he has picked I
er, some uf the qualities OF the lrish1uan. I
OF hap j,lrt ie1ucd m order to the elect = sh
Of when officers Of the army send IN reports
ack COZ nauuica,ious which are 20 carelessly VT
iuu ten f}iAt the signatures tl,lAI te Tp1{, ht u
by | return MttN IL The tcriEeTs.
ers Here is al epitapL from Ailwauk
sat ..H.tt lies the 'so,.y At Peter Grace.
Nj, I Nha ti!eil from eating SWtitzcr kAse:
lie finished SIX n4ttGfS, commenced upon StF