The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1870-08-11

Why does the minister have more wives
than any one else7 Because he often marries
a couple at a time.
- Mr.. Short says that the only thing he can
pay these hard times is his addresses to the
ladies and these he never allows to get over
DUE
= 1t may be said of too many of our public
men that they are last in war, last in peace,
but first in the pockets of their countrymen.
"A queer temperance pledge was once Cir.
culated in Russia. 1t bound the signers to
abstain from brandy-till brandy should be
better and tolerably cheap.
A gentleman in Indiana says, in note &C
companying letter for publication in the
Louisville Comier-Journal:: 81 sumtimes mis-
spell word, and it is possible have spelt sic
afant rong."
"A veteran observer once declared that no
one knew what envy and jealousy were until
he had served in the army. The observer
probably had never belonged to church choir
= A curious Western visitor inquired if the
State prison was rcckoned among institutions
of charity?' Certainly" was the reply, cit
covers multitude of SIM"
"A country paper says "There is grave
yard in this neighborhood where may be seen
the impressive picture of man sleeping peace
ably by the side Of his six wives"
= A bridegroom interfered with parson at
Ringgold, Georgia, who, in accordance with
the usual custom desired to kiss the bride, and
assured the preacher that he had paid for the
ceremony and was not going to have any of
that fooing.
"A fellow on the race-course was staggering
about with more liquor than he could carry
"Hallo what is the matter now ?" said chap,
whom the incbriated individual had just run
against "Why-hic-why, the fact is, a lot
of my friends have been betting liquor on the
races to-day, and they have got me to hold the
stakes"
A Wisconsin farmer winds up an adver-
tisement offering his farm for sale in the fol-
lowing Words "The surrounding country is
the most beautiful the God of Nature ever
made The scenery is ceestial-divine also
two wagons to sell and yoke of steers"
= Some of the questions proposed for dis
cussion at n meeting of a Western debating
club were these: SIS it necessary that females
shud receive thurry literary education? Ort
females to take part in polytix|
- The young gentleman who serenaded us
the other night, and sang, "Come where my
for the invitation, but we beg to be excused, as
it might not be agreeable to all parties
"A couple of Georgians have laid claim to
eighty-two million dollars worth of real estate
in the city of New York. Is there no other
gentleman in the State who will be kind enough
to step forward and claim the rest of it?
Two certificates of death in the San Fran
cisco coroner's Office read: "Ded from rapture
of the head" and "Sufrocated from eating poi
son."
- An exchange says: "a Savannah paper
has been fooled with an account of regatta
at Atlanta The only thing like a regatta that
ever occurred here was big row during the
war;"
An English life insurance company has
paid the insurance for the death of a man one
hundred and three years old, who took out his
policy in 1899. tits said to be the first instance
in which an insurance has ever been paid on the
life of a centenarian.
= A spinster went to well-known lawyer
and engaged him to manage suit for her, on
which she claimed legacy, to which her right
was disputed. The suit was lost, and the poor
maiden said to the lawyer: CHOW can l ever
repay you for all the time and trouble which
YOU have taken on my account? I have
nothing but my heart to give you." "My clerk
takes the fees-go to him, answered the lawyer
grutfly.
"A young lady saw in wicked paper that
if two Young ladies would each take pole of
a galvanic battery in one hand and then COM
plete the circuit by kissing, that the sensation
upon the lips was exactly that of the pressure
of moustachc. She communicated the fact
to number of friends; battery was secured
and the experiment tried, and found to work to
a charm. A large number of pocket batteries
have been ordered, so that hereafter when ladies
meet and kiss, as is their custom, they can shut
their eyes and fully enjoy the satisfaction of
feeling gentleman's lips pressing to theirs.