National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1870-10-14
Wit and Wisdom.


A MAN who took a drink from bottle
of mucilage says he has felt stuck up"
ever since.
THE magnetic well in Chicago having
been thoroughly tested, the citizens
think they prefer whiskey.
The saying that 1.-The Dutch have
taken Holland gives way now to the
new one that - The Italians have taken
Rome"
The father-in-law of DR. Livingston
the African explorer told an audience at
Manchester that he felt sure that his son
was safe
"ECLAMAGUzzLING" is a word of Cali
fornia origin, that is described as mean
ing "a misappropriation of the public
spondulix."
They have desperate ont West who
has already killed five men, and is said
" to contemplate getting up a graveyard
of his own. ="
SOMEBODY says. but we don't believe
it, that when a mosquito once gets his
fill he subsidies entirely, and bores you
afterwards no more.
A PICTURE in the Cbnjrni represents
a zouave fallen upon a heap of Prussian
corpses. "llit at last, he exclaims, "but
| have made my he'd. ="
AT Wamego, place in the extreme
West, is a shanty which bears the sign
Here's Where You Get Meal Like
Yon Mother Used to Give You"
"LENNY, you're pig" said father
to his little fvc-year-old boy. "Now,
do you know what a pig is, Lenny ?"
Yes, sir "A pigs hogs little boy
THE wife of Congressman Brooks sets
good example at the watering places by
nearly always dressing in black, and
wearing her own gray hair in modest
putfs.
One Brown, who has Just taken charge
of a California paper, is said to have the
reputation " of being able to kill healthy
paper quicker than any man on the Pacific
coast.
An English nohleman has taken up his
residence in the centre of the Dismal
Swamp, Virginia. Blighted affections
are supposed to be the cause of his
trouble.
ANY tings pite you dare p inquired
one Frenchman of another, while en-
gagged in angling. "No, notings at all.
"Vell, returned the other, "notings
pite me, too.
A LITTLE boy having broken his rock
ing g-horse the day it was bought his
mamma began to scold when he silenced
her by inquiring, What is the good of
a horse till it's broke %
BONES" said n wag to a milkman,
"you ought to roof them cows of yours.
4" What for 2" asked the other To
keep the water from running into the
milk, replied the wag.
/ 4 CNCINNATI moth n got n big COW
/ hide, and invited in cobbler who had
insulted her daughter proceeded to wax
him with awl her might The last blow
nearly ended him.
TO prevent having red nose in
Winter good remedy is to bathe the
face in ice water before going out, and
! to keep the mouth shut for five minutes
after you go into the open air.
/ OLE BULL has been married twice with
in five months, though to the same girl
both times-on the 1st of June ut his
country seat in Norway and the other
day mt her home in Madison. Wis.
A LAWYER in Tcrre Haute lately went
to an editors office to cane him. The
doctors have cut three bullets ont of his
frame, and there is another one they
can't find, which will probably kill him.
A TEXAS man has been cured of the
bite of "a tarantuln by the copious use Of
Robertson County whiskey. The wound
healed up in two days and on the third
day the man expired of delirium tremens.
No, my dear" said mother to her
daughter who had been taking n nap
before dressing for party, "you
needn't rearrangc youI hair. You
couldn't make it look rougher if you
did.
ELMdrBLE bachelor making call J
We'll, Mr.. Fred, you don't know who ]
am Too candid Young hopeful" Oh,
/ but do, though ! You're the chap ma
says would be such good catch for oui
Mary !"
QuIrE laugh was raised in one Of the
courts 10y nm official who, when the
chairman called out for the crier to open
the court, said, MAY it please youl
honor, the crier cant cry to-day, becaus,
his wife is dead
, Is Baltimore young man, doubling
the fidelity Of his sweetheart, blackened
, his face with burned cork and seated him
,, self on her doorsteps. The result was
that the police captured him and locked
him M in the station house.
, PERKINS will get tight occasionally
I much 10 the nstonishmcnt of Himself and
friends. "For years." says he, &" il was
| unaccountable to me, for ! never did
, drink but n mouthful or two and the
cause ncvcrd did strike me until measured
| my mouth and found that it held pint. y
Tm other day. in Buffalo, mn excited
individual with carpet bag in one hant
and IN umbrella in the other, and
: shawl hanging over his arm, accostet
, one Of the street gamins with the ques
ton, Say, hub, which is the quickes
/ way for me to get To- the Railroad depot ?
/ Run y was the laconic response.
, TuEnr is at least one place in the Ian,
where something like primitive simplicit,
! prevails. Jamestown the island ~ Con
D anicut midway between tbo eastern an,
@ western shores Of Narrugansett Bay. re
u ports In the census no paupcrs, m
< criminals, no domestic servants
I there any other town, on land or water
!. which can furnish like record