The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1870-01-01

to sneese an eut up like mad Miss Sally
Callahan, she was thar, a spinnin' aroun' like
top, When at last her waterfall fell of
Sleeve Hamlin he got his boot hitched in one
OF the, gals t'ltin' hoops, SO thar was the
greatest time you ever seed. Just then Jim
Smith, who was out in the middle of the
floor, ginln' an goin' on at great rate, he
give Sally Semmons hyste that raised her
nearly up to the joists, an then stopped right
in the middle of the set. SEE he, Shucks, Sal,
l can't dance for latin. Let's play boss.
The gals they all held down Their heads an
Siggled so they couldn't dance, an the set
was busted up.
That made Sally Slemmons somad that she
went right straight to her brother Zeke, an
told him that Jim Smith had busted up the
set, and he must larrup him right thar.
Then Zeke S!emmons he went up to Jim
Smith, am sez he, jim, you busted up the set
with your foolishness, am wouldn't be ex-
prised if somebody with red whiskers didn't
git UNI pulled some of these days.
See Jim Smith, bod wollop your long
legged, turkey-trottin', slab-sided skin OF you,
whenever YOU want to pull emmy red whiskers,
mine is about the reddest of emmy in these
parts. an YOU can iist pitch in an pull them,
if Won don't think pullin' might be in YOUR
way.
Wall, they commenced siielin up to one
another, with their fists doubled up But
iorsuf to tell you bout gal seed thar fore
the muss commenced. She was out in the
middle OF the floor, a rarin' back an charg-
In round at great rate; an Bill Tucker he
steps up to me, an seq he, Arch, do you know
that ar gal thar in the middle of the floor,
sloshin' aroun' so elegant? SEE /, which 1
DO. Sed he, that's my sister; don't she rock
a nasty heel?
Well, as was sayin, Jim Smith he sided
up, an Zeke Slemmons he sided up, an
saw thar wor gwine to be the durndest row
you ever seed!
AS didn't care about bein' witness fore
the gram jury, walked over to Roseberg's
store to git private drink, an arter l left /
bern it sed that a-rah-
SEE the Deestrick Attorney, don't tell us
everything that you hern sed!
Well, sed l. if can't tell what everybody
sed, can tell what Smith told me, can't 1?
Sed the Deestrick Attorney, you can"
Well, sez !, walked over to Rosenberg's
store to git privit drink, an axed Rosey to
drink with me. While we was a stirrin' up
our ticker, we commenced talkin politx,
an about the crippled soldiers runnin for ali
the offices. sorter talkin agin the practice,
but Rosey he up an SEE "enny crippled soldier
that won't vote for a crippled soldier don't
deserve to be crippedF' SEE l, that's so,
boss! Let's take another snifter ON that!
While we was jawin over our ticker, in
comes Jim Smith, sweatin' like bigger at
an election ,an'we aXed him to CINE us. He
sed he had no partickler objexions, an SEE he
to me, SEE he, Arch, thar's bin the very old
boy to play over yonder!
SEE /, the thunder you say!
You know, esez he, when you absquatula-
ted from the ball room, Zeke Slemmons was
sdin' up to me, an was sidin up to him?
Which do, SEE I.
Well, seq he, things come to such a pass
that Had to stab Zeke Slemmons?
No! sez 1.
SEE he, yes, by golly!
SEE ], well -by-golly!
SEE he, made one wipe at him with my
butcher knife, an rot my hide if 1 didn't cut
the tail OF his coat plum off up to his waist!
Jem Smith, SEE !, you have ruined yourself
scarce in these parts, the gran jury will Git
holt of it an up you'll go!
You must think Pm burned fool, sez he.
an off he mizzeled, an that's all 1 know
about the stabbing! ~ a@ ~
The gran jury they see they couldn't see
emmy ground for a prosecution, an wrote on
the back OF the bill OF Indictment, "iqnoya-
meus," which think is name that suits the
most Nv um ft1st rate.