davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-07-23

DRY GOODS.
The Housekesper's 0pportuniU!!
TAKING ACCOUNT OF STOCK!
GOODS REDUCED TO EFFECT IMME-
DIATE SALES!
Bleeched Dsmask Table Linen, 5oc., up.
Hand-loom Table Linens, 45c, up.
Muslin and Linen Sheetings, all widths and quail
ties
Towels, Napkins, Crash, Huckaback, Blrd-eye
Linen.
Honeycomb Dimlty and Marselles Quilts
Linen Duck for mems and boys wear 20c., up.
Colored Linens for ladies' wear 25c., up.
Thin Summer Shirts and Stockings.
Gents Gauze Shirts, 25, 6IN, I5c., up.
Ladies' Gauze Merino Vests,regular made 75c., up.
Cartwright Warmers Shirts, closing out.
Chhdren's 9auze Merlno Vests, all sizes.
Ladies' Regular Made Hose, 25, 2S Bic.
Gents Regular made Half Hose, 25, 2S, sic.
Chidren's White and Colored Stockings, all quail
ties.
White Goods at a Sacrifce!
Corded Piques, 29c. Figured Piques, Csc, up.
Victoria Lawn, Plaid Muslins, French Muslns.
Hamburg Edgings and Insertings.
JOHN BURNS,
House-fua nishipg Dry Goods and In
porter of Hosiery,
215 and 217 =. ELEVENTH St.
1t ABOVE SPRUCE.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-07-23
COLO n MADE HOTEL

FIFTEENTH AND chestnut STS.,
ENTIRELY NEW AND HANDSOMELY FUR
NIsHED noW ready for permanent OF transient gassA
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

Josh, Billings has been to Long Branch, and
thereof whites: The biggest thing they hav
got here for the present IL the pool of water in
front Of the hotels The pool IL sed. bi good
judges, tew be 800 miles in length, in some
places , miles in thickness Into this pool,
every day at 10 . clock, the folks all retire
They dress in flannel attire, ov mcnny colors
and look as near like, when they are in the
pool az a flock Of ducks and brakes. The wa
ter IN this pool has stood 50 long it has got
salty, and Onsht tew be changcd.N
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

" those who care for something more luxurious.
she gives herself no trouble about her appear
| ance, but lets her milluCr dress her according
! To her plea ,ure md in consequence, looks a.,
! II clothed in patchwork for want of ANYTHING
like harmony in her coors or a central idea in
| her arrangements She revolts at the tvrani-
cal law OF society which forces her to leave the
table with the ladies', and longs to linger with
the men over their wine, and share in their
conversation; She pants for excitement; not
the tame and vivid excitement of love. which
she despises as worse than childish. but for ex-
! c!tement Of fierce and manly kind-for ex-
cltcment that will stimulate her, that will sat
lSiy her-for excitement that will un>ex her
0he wants to make noise in the world. to he
an Individuality on her own account. to rance
herself side by side with men; and she laugh at
the idea OF the di>abitis of sex. Is mater
nlty her hlndercnce? let women ruluse to he
mothers; to suckle fools is as much beneath
her aspirations as to chronicle small beer: and
shG has not learned yet how to make both or
either noble. In her society men are at their
ease morally, and have no more shame In dis
cusSlng questionable matters with her. or in
tGLlng doubtful stories, before her, than if
they had any youths among them She takes
thlS iOrgetluness OF her sex as a tribute to her
worth, and the less of reserve or reticonce an
their part the more highly She considers her.
self compllmented. For She cannot understand
that there should be distinction of sex in morals
IN knowledge, in mode Of action. What i
right for men to know women NAV also dis
cuss what men may do women may initiate,
ana II they may not, then, by the absoluriSm
OF moral identity the one should be forbidden
what the other may not share, and she would
nave all fowl dressed with the same sauce The
special characteristics Of womanhood held in
honor ever since society began. She has cast
away as trammcIs degrading to the free mind;
and the more she can as,imiate herself to men
the better She thinks She has succeeded in her
Ilte 5 great work. She boast, Of being among
them as a great boy, and puts it forth as a
claim to your respect that :" they never make
love to her: And the men say the same
thing; and, whether they call her "iolIy' ON
the one hand, or fearless" en- the other as
she IS boil in habit, or without modesry in
mind, universally protest that she is the last
woman IN the world to whom thew should
dream of making love, and that they look on
her as one Of themselves.
We would not ask women if thew think il
probable that men like this sort of creature
better han they themselves like the unsaxed
ana e1lemInate man and if men don't like her.
whether they can be expected to increase the
number OF the species ?-ItW Wall Buolet.
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

An American abroad being asked if there
were any ruins on the banks of American riy-
erS that could compare with those ON the
Rhine, replied: Our people don't deal
much in ruins, but eff we'd give m the con-
tract our builders could put Us un few"
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
Brides and Grooms at NIAGARA,

n letter to the TituSyil,c W1a1J, from Nj
agara, dated July II, says June is a fayorite
mouth Tor Cupid victim, to take the bonds.
ana 50 accustomed have the hotel proprictors
Uecome to the influx Of subjects for future di-
VolceS during this month that they make many
changes IN their general rules and bill Of fare
lof that month, which are, of course, obnoxious
10 MIN who has been through the mill and
arrived ut that period Of life where roast beet
Hoes 4ai tNer toward satisfying one 5 appetite
IMAM dozen kisses Oh the half she'll
One veteran landlord informs us that the ov-
PehSeS OF the hotel business during Brides
AIont! ljune) are much less than at anv athrr
lihle uallng the season, for, said he. "a
litte sponge cake and few lemon drops serve
d. square meal Tor newly married coupe
ana II don make any difference whether the
"dIIciH are attentive or not, while one clam
befmaId can attend to all bell calls during tbe
month. W hat could be more beautiful than
thIS touching tribute to pure affection from the
ilpS oi the aged landlord? But there are a
lew come here IN July, that bear the tcll-tale
marks OF new weedcd bliss. ltis easy to de-
tect them, however. in spite of the assumed
bo,dness OF the bridegroom.
| saw couple enter the vcst;buIe of tbn
Cataract House last evening. who boped to es.
cape the criticism Of bride gazerS, y but the
uls9u was too thin, and in five minutes both
STOOD revealed Ill all their deceiluI imagery.
lfue, there WI> an absence Of white dimity and
feathers, Of silk hat and too tight gloves and
boots, the usual signs Of fresh victims. and.
when the lady saappi,hly exclaimed, ''W here )
my Ian, Mr.. Glllden?' the deusion seemed
complete, Tor the usual remark would have
been, George, dear, have you seen my fan?''
But | was not to be deceived by appcarances.
and stepping to the clerk ) office awaited the
arrival OF this traveller under false pretences.
lie came--boid as sheep-scized the pen and
wrote with trembling hand Mr. George :.
Olldd1n and wife, AIlemagoozlum, Pa.
DO you wish suite of rooms? ?" said the
urbanc clerk, as he turned the Koh i-noon
upon his shirt bosom 50 as to blind the un,ls.
pectng HlIdden VI Ith its rays.
MOL thundered the latter I'm married
one room will do, I've got through paying for
two rooms now.
All right sir," said the clerk, /" show him
to the bridal chamber next to the divorce
apartment > As he stepped into the elevator
previous, to going up to the aforesaid chamber.
| heard him say: told you So, Emeline
1t was that blasted perfumery you but on nv
handkerchief that did it. The minute that
hotel clerk got snuff of that, ha saws he,
Iatchouly! Show EN- to the bridal cham
Der. BY which we were left to infer that
Patchouly an bricgrooms are linked togeth
er IN some mysterious manner known only to
hotel clerks
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
TIE FOLLOWING ADVANTAGES

TIE FOLLOWING ADVANTAGES
The AMERICAN possesses alone and undisturbcd,
there being no other machine ever pretending them
j. 1t has larger arm and stronger construction
than any family machine, admitting larger pieces
oi work, thus fitting the machine to family and
manufacturing purposes well, without need of
two machines. 1t has 6 ks inches clear room.
= 1t hens any width or thickness from onesix.
teenih cambrlc to two inches CLOTH beaver canvass,
or leather.
8. 1t binds coat, skirt or a hat without any
braid OF binding whatever.
a. 1t folds up the brim of a hat to any fulncss.
D. II overseams a sheet or Brussels carpet.
o. 1t makes beautiful eycet work.
I. 1t embroders on the edge
teral. '-0 -" "'y ma
y 1t has the braiding machine which makos
braid OF aHv size color at the rate of 150 varJs
per hour. This sells for $40 extra.
lO. 1t always won the first premium at every
exhibition i'll which it has been entered. 'y
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
WHOLE NO. $40

PEPPER P0Ds.--lt you hev rot a >riritcd
aud noble boy appeal to his generosity: if WI
hcV got heavy and sulcn one, appeaItcw his
back ~ ''''
r, AttilckShms are the compliments that
Heaven pays tew the yir,cwous.
he tongue IL really very fast member oy
the body p"iltirs he duz all the talking and
"0-thirdS ov the thinking.
lhere IL many a person who kan set a mouse
'iaP te" Pericckshun, but, not satisfied with
slcn Slna.! game, undertake tcw tran for bears.
ana GIT kctched by the bears. Morl-studdv
yure genius, and stick tcw mice.
lEc world owes AL its cncrgys and refine
lhent teW luXuTyS Iiggiug root, for breakfast
ana gong naked for clothes, IL the yirtewons
innocence Of lazy savage.
There IL lots ov folks who eat well. and drink
wen, ana sleep we'll. and yet are SICK all the
iIhie-thcZc are the folks who alWuz enjoy puor
health. 0'1'1 pun
y person with a little smattcrinr ov learn
ing, is good deal Ike a hens erg, that boq
been sot On tor short time, and then desert
ennything 0''-"a 0u'
:. People ov good sense" are those whose
OpnyunS agree with ours.
There IL great deal Of magnificent poyertv
IN our big c!tys.-peop!c who eat klam SCUM
out oV TN basin with gold spoon.
A'"i' ',l4C Uul very little glnOwlnc good
sense IN this world enyhow, and what little
thar,g IL amt in maykyt-it is hcII fer diyi-
dcnd Wv
,Ihoze who hev made up tharc minds to lead
HE OF enjoyment viii find the following re-
cIpe5e CRATE help tew them Tew one ounce
OF pIcZure add pound ov repentance.
AdVorSlty IL pp1.lcSs which reduces our
vanity ana strengthens our virtcw-cvcn bow
never iGes halt az good az when he haz been
spanked and sot away tew cool.
Marrying an angel IL the poetry of marriage,
out living with her IL the proze, and this is all
well enuit the taste ov the poetry haint spite
our relish for the proze.
Men, if they ain too lazy, liv sumtimes till
they are 50, and destroy the time good deal
az follows : the tust 80 years they spend throw
ing Stuns at mark the second 90 they spend
examining the mark to see whar the stuns hit.
and the remainder is divided in cussing the
stun throwing business and nussin the ruma-
tizz.-Josh Billings.
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
The Origin Of Mosquitoes.

Inc lied River Indians have curious le.
gcnd respecting the origin Of moSouitors
lhcy say that once upon a time there vos .
famine, and the Indians could get no panc
Hundreds had died from hunger. and de,ol,.
ton illled their country. All kinds of offer
lhGS were made to the Great Spirit. without
avail, until one day two hunters came upon /,
Whlte wolverine, very rare animal. Upor
shooting the white wolverine an old woman
SpfahS up out OF the skin, and saying that She
was MamtO promised them peutv of gam.
as long as they treated her well and gave her
the hrst choice OF all the game that should be
brought IN. The two Indians asscnted to this
ana took the old woman home with them
which event was Immediately succeeded by an
abundance OF game. Whom the SHARPNESS nl
the famine had passed in the prospcrity
which the old woman had brought to The
tribes, the Indians became dainty in their ,n-
petiteS, and conn planned Of the maD9crin which
the o.d woman had took to herself all the
choice bits and this feeling became so intense
'nat hotWIt hstandIng her warning that if they
violated their promise terrible calamity wouIi
come upon the Indians, they one day killed
her as she Vas seiziug her share of tat rein.
deer which the hunters had brought in
Great CONSERVATION Immediately struck tba
witnesses OF the deed, and the Indians. to ce
cape the predicted calamity, bodily struck their
tents ana moved away to Il great distance. Time
passed ON without any catastrophe occurring.
and, game becoming even more plentiful, the
Indians again began to laugh at their being de-
celYed by the Old woman. Finally a hunting
party, on long chase Of a reindeer, which had
led them back to the spot where the old woman
was Killed, came upon her skeleton. and one
OF them IN derlson kicked the skull with his
loot. In an instant a small, spiral, vapor-rke
body arose from the eyes aud ears of the skull,
whlch proved to be insects, that attacked the
hunters with great fury and drove them to the
river tor protection. The skull continued to
pour out It's little stream, and the air became
lull Of avengers Of the old wcman's death
The hunters, upon returning to camp. found
all the Indians suffering terribly from the
plague, aud ever since that time the Indians
have been punished BY the mosquitoes for their
wlckednesS to their preservcr, the Manito
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

Dld you ever meet with person who drew
out all the antagOniSm in your nature? in
whose presence all the kindly. feelings seemed
TO shrlvel up and blacken, like some delicate
fabric IN the fire who caused YOU to saw every
thlng that you didn think and believe. and
tnat I'D the most positive, emphatic. puUna
cl0us, aud dlsagre1ablc manner? who ser vour
othelWlSe calm, tranquil blood bubblinc and
seeming IKE some inturiatcd cauldron mixture2
VINO look AL the symmetry, and sweetness, and
9iory, ana beauty out Of the world for you, leav
ing you IN Its place nothing but chaos and de-
lorhity who lett to you veXation, and sur
PRISE, and repentance, and the most bewildrr.
Gu craving to know where, and how, ard in
dloDoIlSm IN your nature2 Then, on the con
Tary, dld you never meet person whose mere
mute presence was as happiiying and sooth
ing as your own mother kiss? who iusnirnl
you with the most intense longing to be rood
am do good? who made you say all manner
OF iunny and tellctious things? who exnelIni
all your weakness, moral and physical. and Srt
you on your spiritual feet, shod, armed. bcl-
meted' ana lnvulnerable to all attacks of the
enemy from within and without, and left vou
TO wonder how you could ever have sighed, or
cried, or been troubled about ANYTHING : mr. eyon
nave supposed that there was a thing in the
universe that human being could, would
should or might have done, that YOU wouldn't
yourself bring to pass, Immediately, if not
soonerE Did you ever meet such persons. and
experience all that have enumerated? And
II you hare met with them, can YOU tell me
what it all means?
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
TOe/l'Y.
FOR OTHERS SAKE.

lis happiness 10 love our work
For its own sake,
Ana could We always, none would sbirk.
Or dread to wake.
But life is long, and we mny cease
To love our tasks:
Illusions pass. the sober lays
Throw OFT ftheir masks.
They front US with aycrtcd eye.
And faded bloom;
Til" -,iri' luails and almost dies
Before their gloom
All then we learn work has no worth,
For its own sake,
And sordid are all tasks Of Garth
Till love partake.
For truly only love our lives
Can worthy make,
And he is happiest who most strives
For others SAKE.
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

a LADY NOVELIST on LOVE AND MAR
RIAGES.-ln Charlotte Bronte recently pub
h>hed letters she thus expresses her views re-
sardlng marriage: DO not he oycr-per>uad-
ed to marry man you can never re>pcct-I do
not say tore; because think if you can res
p'ct person before marriage, moderate love
at least will come after; and as to intense pas
sion am coAyinccd that is no desirable feel
ing. In the first !, lace, it 5 lom or never
if it did, the feeling would be only tcmnorarv
1t would last the honeymoon. and then. ncr.
hap~. 1t would give place to disgust. Certain
Iy TINS would be the case on the mans part
and on the womrn s-God help her if She is
lett to love pa>Sionltcly and alone !"
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31
THE AMERICAN

Can be had as plain sewing machine without tbe
outtohhole ana overseaming, at SIS less than the
given prices, ' '''o
We want few reliable agents evervwboro ~
whom we will make it an object to sell these p9nu,
lar machines. P'Pu-
Machines will he sent to any address on reccin,
OF price, Every machine has full outfit for pIain
sewing, hemming, &c. ~ p'"'"
we simply ask an examination to verify all we
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

The editor Of the Southern Chnn ID,an
makes the following cx'raorlnary threat to
the rituali>tS: :" For it is evident that il some
OF us are going to wear copcs, and others of IT'S
nothing but surpliccS, others Of us will discard
the use Of all garments Whatsoever.
y Young lady from the rural districts went to
Des Nloines to see an elephant. In the street
ears the conductor said to her: = Miss vour
fare Well, il am, She replied, " don't
want any more OF your impertcucncc.
A new way to avoid an onplcasantness.
is to do as is done in Utah 10 marry the
grandmother, mother, and daughter This
avoids the necessity of Il mothcr-in-law.
Don't take too much interest in the affairs
of your neighbor. Six per cent. will do.
Blank forms Of proposal are used bv Min
IneSsota ladies' when their young men are slow
IN coming to the point.
There is no truth in the rumor that tbe
statue OF Washington in front of Independ
ence Hall has been sun-struek.
The pretticr the foot and ankle, the easier il
gets up stares.
A Dentists Oath-By Gum.
The Children's Kingdom - I.apland.
A Light Employment-Can candle making.
Burning Words a Dictionary in flames
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

A cler in an Erie hotel has a magnificent
scheme IN view 1t is circular hotel, to rest
on pivot like locomotive tum-table. The
OBJECT Is to give every guest front room, !"
(that being an almost invariable request) by
assigning guests to the places then in front,
ana turning them to the rear upon the advent
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

W EpbING&.-I are all sorts Of WEDDINGS
and marriages; it would take many pages IA
register them, from the marriage Of true minds
70 that oi couple Of money bags Sometimes
the btlIe AMI Bridegroom are two masked fir
ures, trlckoi up and disguised, 50 that il yor,'l
be nag 10 ay which is the most deceived IN
the Other. Sometimes it is living creature
united to Shalow Have you ever known =
man married to doll? He chose her out and
paIu Tor her W hat sweet face it is What
HlSh bred cain And then, again, come the
happy lovers, two and two as they pass be
IoiG the nigh altars, the long white wells of the
brldeS sweep along the gray aisles of the
chuIches; their happiness lightens up the fl
ces looking on. Then perhaps, some blooming
Young glr comes up, bringing a crutch and n
bronchial whccze, and it now and chen Larpcns
that youth appears, leading a wig Of false
patS, Il set Of artificial teeth, and a half n
century OF bones to the altar. The disparity
Is not 50 great as you might imagine. There
might be a heart beating still beneath all these
adjustments, while the bridegroom, for all his
youth and good looks has not one sinole jron
OF warm blood in his body. 50 bad. good and
indifferent, they pass their way. Sometimes
1t Is Peace and Goodwill who 20 bv hand in
hand: What does it matter if GoodwiTs
beard IS grlzzlcd, and Peace has crows feet
round about her loving eyes? Sometimes it
Is PrIde and Nalnglory that 90 sweeping past
down the long church out into the churchyard
beyond. They are a fine looking couple as
they. sail along, and they look to see their re-
i1ectlon IN the eyes OF the byStandcrS Some
tlnGS-and tins Is ovCry strange phenomenon
1t Is only the pass Of one of the codtractinu
parties that is united to the present Of the
other They find it out too late. Coy,IW
MtQd:iHc
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

HOGS AS SNAKE EXTERMINAToRs.-A far.
mcr living on the west side OF the river. in
walking about his place, discovered a nest of
rattIesnakes in an old log about which several
large pieces OF rock lay scattered. Our friend
mad heard that hogs were death on snakes of
all sorts, ami not caring to attack the nest him
sell, he thought he would try the experiment
and see fight. lie drove several in the vi
elnlty OF the nest, and watched the result. The
hogs soon seemed to scent the varmentS and
commenced roofing eagerly about the spot. In
an instant half dozen of the vicious serpents
emerged from their hiding place to attack the
mtrudcrS, who manifested Jealous diSpo,i
ton to 90 in.
a >na ke would rear himself to the height Of
the back OF hog shake his rattIcs and
plunge his langs into the animal with light
lnlhS- like celerty, and then dart away, pursued
by the gruntcr, who dcXtcrously received the
stlng upon the tleshy part of the law. Time
ana again tins would be repeated, until the
hog got his forc-!oot upon the snake, when he
would deliberately, rip Mr. Snake in twain,
and then dcvour him. This slaughter contin
uod until all the snakes were disposed of, when
the hogs gruntrd cOntentedly, and without auv
signs of being disturbed, wadd!cd off in search
OF other proVcnder. The eyewitness to this
singular contest, which was not without its ox-
citing features, declares himself convinced that
a pig is lmpervious to the poisonous bite of
any kind OF serpent. C0iunlbnS Ohio) Ners
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

lhe most difficult thing to remember the
poor.
Smyrna times., 1870-08-31

a BRAVE RAILROAD ENGINEER.-The Altoona
lPa.) S"n says: Mrs. Joseph Burns living
near The Branch road, between this place and
Holidays burg, had occasion to cross the rail-
road track yesterday morning, and unknown
70 herself was followed by small child. which
stopped on the track and began PLAYING be-
tween the tics. Near the place where the
child was playing the road takes sharp curve,
and when the Branch train, running ycry fast
made the curve, the engineer Mr. JAS Stewart
was horrltled to see the child on the track. NOT
more than forty yards distant lie instantly
reversed hl, engine, and then rushed out upon
the cowcatther, fastening his legs in the bars
50 as to permit him to reach the full length of
ms body, and arms III front Of the locomotive.
By sudden blow lie threw the child from the
track and down the embankment, and ON 90
lng back. after the train had STOPPED. found
that 1t had received but few bruises from
falling among stones when thrown from the
track NJ. stewards prompt and active meas
ureS to prevent the train from running over
the child, and his manly daring in suspcnding
himself by the feet from the front Of his en-
glne, deserves tho highest praise