Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1870-03-03
Miscellaneous.

Jnat, TUESDAY Delng NaQameS Gay, 1
would be too tired to receive my friends"
Miscellaneous.
"A Deer Dish-Venison.
Late NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Chicago Fashions-Divorce suits.
Necessity has no law but an uncom-
mon number of lawyers.
When is a grocer like highwaymanS
When he lies in weight.
An over-scrupulous young lady-One
who will not receive stolen look.
Dogs can't sing Old Hundred, but
they can howl like sixty.
Life is vapor, Lite Insurance is not.
Insure in the Washington.
The sieve through which the man
strained every nerve is for sale.
"A child, like letter, often goes astray
through being badly directed.
-" My dear wife," as the man said when
he looked at the last milliner's bill.
When may bird be said to occupy a
feather bed? When it sleepsI upon the
wing
The man whose head was fairly
turned says it feels very uncomfortable
in that position.
Nobody takes reproof so kindly as
he that deserves most to be commended.
The man who attempted to look into
the future had the door slammed in his
face.
The Howard Colored Lunatic Asylum,
at Richmond, Va, receives ten new sub
jects week.
"A wag recently appended to the list
of market regulations of Cincinnati mo
whistling near the sausage stalls"
Amongst such as out Of cunning hear
all and talk little, be sure to talk less; or,
| if you must talk, say little,
The young man who determined to
seize the first thing that turned up, has
been arrested tor pulling mans nose.
Some of the town councils in Maine
fine person ten dollars ii he does not
pay doctor one dollar 10 get vacclnated.
He is happy whose circumstances suit
his temper; but he is more fortunate who
can suit his temper to any circumstances.
"A New York paper speaks of "a man
! with one eye named Robert Welch,' but
does not tell what the other eye was
named.
-" Madam, you said your son was a
lawyer has he much practices" why,
yes, sir, he has great practice--of smok-
ing cigars"
Why can not deaf man be legally
condemned for murderY Because the law
SAYS no man can be condemned without a
hearing.
What the old mountaineer says of the
grizzly: at is fine thing to hunt the
grizzly; but when he gets to hunting you,
| It's different"
1t was piling it on when dry goous
! firm sued husband for the goods bought
| by the wife, who deserted him, as an outfit
for her journey.
One of the Eastern Governors as
sured the Legislature in a late message,
that capital like water, would always
seek its highest level"
-"Isn't your bill awful steepf" in
ouired a spendthrift Of his tailor "You
ought to know best, for it was run up by
YOU" was the cool reply.
"A bright school boy out West, rectlng
in geography, spoke by the card in dehn.
ing strait to be something that would
"beat two pairs"
No Company has made a larger divl-
dend than the Washington at the same
period of its history, and no company
stands to-day on a tirmer basis OF Sc
curity.
"A young lady in California broke
her neck while resisting the attempt OF a
Young man to kiss her. Young ladies
should be very careful not to resist such
attempts. 1t is extremely dangerous.
Said youngster, in high glee, dis,
playing his purchase to bosom friend on
The sidewalk 1.-TWO cocca-nuts for ten
cents that will make me sick to morrow,
and | won't have to go to school
--Soundings show that the bottom OF
the sea, at the greatest depth, is covered
by continuous mass, extending over
many miles III extent, Of what may be
considered one single animal. IL Is
thought to form the lowest stage OF ami
NAL life on the globe.
! Mother, what did father pray to Gen.
eral Grant so much in church for yester-
days" asked the bright little daughter Of
a ministerial friend lately. Il don't know
that he did, sis" "Why, yes; don't you