davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21

Sentenced for Perjury I'm q Divorce
Case.
&, New YORK, Dec. .20.-Henry w. Geeten
has been sentenced to ten years In the State
prison for perjury In fraudulent divorce
case.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21

Explosion OF tine Cinean natt GasoIne-
M ten. $3.50
CrNo1NNArI, Dec. q. The city gasomeser
exploded Last night. Eight OF The immense
columns supporting the gas.h9i der Wefe
nrostrated, The exp oslon was hearQ eeYe-,
raj miles. Loss, 800, 0Q0.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21
rTHOMAs ID. JEFFREss,

= ~ WHOLESALE GROCER AND
GENERAL COMMISSION MFHCHANT,
NO. LIZ PEARL STREET, RICHMOND, Vac,
solicits orders for GROCERIES and LlQnUES
srd consigpments of 7 y B A &C ~. WHEAI,
CORN, FLOUR, and all other COUNTRY PHO
BiGs FURNISHED AT USUAL RATES: :,
congjgnmen or, If farmers prefer, groceries or
Fertilizers OF any kind win be furnished at the
lowest prices. W o-zH
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21
Especial to the Baltimore SUM-
THE ISCoME-TAx QUESTION,


WASHINGTON, Dec. 19.-It is quite evil
hibited by its vote to-day, that bill for the
total abolition Of the income tax cannot be
passed at this session. A resolution was
submitted which merely proposed to in
struct the Ways and Means Committee to
inquire into the eXpediency of repeating
the tax, and vet it did not command ma
jnrity vote in a slim attendance. Both
financial committees are opposed to any
legislation upon the subject, and in that
conclusion seem to be sustained by the ma
jority of each House. 1t is said at the Trea-
Sury that if this tax is repealed Congress
will be asked to restore some of the special
taxes which were removed by the act of
last July.
$. PATCHING UP MISSOURI.
Some of the Missouri Republicans here
are making every. effort to reconcile the diff
ferences between the Brown and McClurg
wings, i'll order to prevent q coalition to
elect Democratic United States Senator,
but thus far without success. Mr.. SchurZ
will continue to oppose the confirmation of
all persons who were appointed in place of
his Republican friends who were removed
by the President in the late campaign. One
OF the bases of compromise which has been
suggested to the President is the tender Of
q Cabinet position to Gratz Brown. This
is little singular, but it is neverthe less
true. There is just as little probability,
however, Of such tender being made to
GOV. Brown as there is to Senator Schurz.
Mr. Drake finally resigned to-day from the
Senate.
FAILURE OF A FOOLISH REPORT.
The Democratic members Of the House
were very much annoyed to- day at the in
PRODUCTION of a resolution by MIR. Jones, of
Covinaton (ky.) district, assuming in pre-
alnble, virtually, that the doctrine of seces-
sion had not been definitely settled by the
courts, and, in view of the fact, proposing
a resolution declaring the sense Of the
House in favor Of universal amnesty. Only
fourteen out of sixty Democratic votes were
cast for it, and several OF the fourteen mem
bers on examining the preamble regretted
having sustained it. The Republicans
seemed to be delighted at the submission of
such a declaration. The Democrats We're
unanimous for the naked resolution, and
were DESTROYS of a separate vote on it.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21

Wasat.-White s2o bushels. Red. e.ess bushels
Cor,,--WhlJe. 11al bushels. Mixed, 80. bushels
OGtS.-908 bushels.
RUe.-2l2 bushels
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1870-12-21
Domestic Markets-TgY rE1EeaApH.1

W6edt.-White, 40 bushels; Red, 14e bushels.
Corn, White, 21u bushels Mixed, 81 Bushels.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

Responsibilities OF Parents.

A pious mother, in her prayers with
her little son, was accustomed to lay her
hand upon his head. She died while
he was yet too young to realize the loss
he had sustained He grew up an un-
curbed and wayward boy, whom none
seemed to understand, and few to love.
Yet in his most reckless and passionate
paroxisms, something seemed partially to
restrain and rule him. He said it was
a " hand upon his head, like the mothers
hand" Often he yielded at its touch,
and wept bitterly. In the flush and fe-
yer of youth, he travelled widely over
foreign lands. Vice tempted him, and
the virtue which should have withstood
it, had but frail roofing. Still, some
thing Withheld him. 1t was the same
:" hand upon his head, d,"-asoft, cool hand.
He dared not utterly cast off its con-
troll.
In his old age he said to some children:
" A hand is upon my head,-u my
few hoary locks.-the same hand that
used to rest in prayer among the fresh
sunny curls of my infancy; and if | am
ever saved, it will be by that mothers
hand, and my Redeemer's mercy"
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13
Bad Bargains.

Once Sabbath school teacher remark
ed that he who buys the truth make
good bargain ; and inquired if any schol-
lar recollected an instance in Scripture of
bad bargain.
"I do replied boy. "Esau made
bad bargain when he sold his birthright
for a mess of pottage."
A second said: Judas made bad
bargain when he sold his Lord for thirty
pieces of silver"
A third boy observed: "Our Lord
tells us that he makes bad bargain who
to gain the whole world, loses his own
soul"
L have seen a good many boys in my
time who have made bad bargains. Some
change the Sunday-school for the street
and home for wicked company; and the
Bible for bad books; and health for to-
bacco. They always get the worst of it.
Boys, look out for these bad bargains
Young Reaper
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13
lazy BOYS.

An exchange says, lazy boy will
make lazy man as sure as crooked sap
ling will make crooked tree. Who
ever saw boy grow up in idleness that
did not make a shiftless vagabond when
he became a man, unless he had fortune
TO keep up appearances? The mass of
thieves, criminals and paupers have come
to what they have, by being brought up
in idleness. Those who constitute the
business part of the communicative
make our great and useful men-were
taught in their boy-hood to be industri-
Gus. Boy, take pipe out Of your mouth
and think Of this.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

no. What folly is it that with such
care about the body which is dying, the
world which is perishable before our eyes,
time which is perpetually disappearing,
we should so little care about that eternal
state in which we are to live forever when
this dream is over When weshall have
lived ten thousand years in another world
where will be all the cares and fears and
enjoyment of this? In what light will
we then look upon the things which tran
sport us with joy, or overwhelm us with
grief?
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

R0~ Some of the sums in the mental
arithmetics have about as much sense in,
as the following: If four dogs, with
16 legs can catch 20 rabbits, with 81 legs
in A minutes, how many legs must the
same rabbits have to get away from 8
dogs, with 32 legs, in II minutes and a
half.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

seg~ Man must have occupation, or be
miserable. Toll is the price ofappetite-
of health and enjoyment. The very
necessity which overcomes our natural
sloth is blessing.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

Peg Since the year 1888, one hundred
and five missionaries have died in the
foreign field. OF the number so were
males, and ffty-three were females
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

pG~ The Roman Catholic Cathedral
in Pekin, China, has been fired and total
ly consumed, and a number of the mis-
sionaries and converts murdered.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

BGg~ God writes the gospel, not in the.
Bible alone, but on the trees and flowers,
and clouds, and stars
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

Heg~ He who does his best, however
little, is always distinguished from him
who does nothing.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

He~ If the best mans fault. were writ
ten on his forehead, it would make him
pull his hat over his eyes.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

Bds" Leisure is sweet to those who have
earned it, but burdensome to those who
get it for nothing.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-13

g6s~ There is no real use in riches, ex-
ccpt it be in the distribution the rest
is but conceit.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
The German Soldiers At Drill.

7 ME Berlin correspondent of the New
4 York Ecening Post who was himself
a soldier in the late war for the Union,
writes as follows:
" The discipline and daily routine Of
exercise for the Prussian army is, to all
foreigners, a source of never-ending won
der. The early morning is devoted to
cleansing the quarters, and correcting
any irregularities which may have arisen
out of the previous days duties. Later
in the forenoon the hours are given to
study-arithmetic, geography, geometry
theory and practice of military science
and even singing is not neglected.
Great Importance is attached to the stud
les OF the soldiers, and by attaining a GER
tain advancement in knowledge each one
after satisfactory examination, can short
en his term Of service from one to
two years. In the afternoon Of each day
the bodily culture is attended to, and this
consists OF not only purely military drill
but also OF every variety of physical ex-
erclse, calculated to add either strength
or suppleness to the human form-run-
ming, leaping, vaulting balancing, bayo-
net exercise lifting, shooting blending to-
gether such an innumorablo variety of
movements that no muscle of the body
is without its daily exercise. The squad
drills are followed by company and regi-
mental parades, and at short intervals
by grand field movements Of brigades
and divisions, and these once or twice
year by grand army movements with
mock battles. have not been fortunate
enough to witness any of their grand
tactics, but the exercises in detail by
company, battalion, squadron or battery
and IN particular the artillery movements
seem to me to be as near perfection as
patience and practice can make them
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
Long Words.

GONE amusing illustrations of the
~ tondness OF negroes for long words
are given by Mr.. Macrae in his book dis
criptive Of scenes in American life.
Once, when addressing a negro prayer
meeting, Mr.. Macrae spoke of this life as
a state of probation. GA colored gen
tleman who followed me improved my
observation by reminding the meeting
with great vehemence, that, " as our white
brudder says, we is all in state of prohi-
bition."
Another hearing some one spoken of
as " venerable brother" introduced
missionary as his venomous brud-
der"
On another occasion he entreated the
Lord to convict the people of their sin,
and make them smite on their breasts
like the Republicans of DID,"
Another man was in the habit of using
in his prayers the tremendous word dis
arumgumtigated"- origin or signiG-
cance of the word no one in the place
had ever been able to discover. He
prayed that their good pastor might be
" disarumgumtigated, and dat de wife
teachers who had come SO far to construct
de poor colored folks might also be dis
arumgumtigated."
The homeliness and directness of the
negro prayers sometimes produce ludic-
rous effect. Mr.. M. says that he was
sometimes singled out and prayed for as
de white gemmen in de corner" or de
white brudder near de door"
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
Is He Fat?

ME FOLLOWING story is true
Il record of an event which happened
in Hopkinton, Mass, and .one we often
have heard told when we were a boy.
There were a couple Of men in that town
who were in the habit of stealing sheep
and robbing churchyards of the burial
clothes ofthe dead
There was a public road leading by a
Westinghouse, where there was a grave
yard and not for off tavern.
Early one moonlight night, while one
Of the miscreants was busy robbing
grave, the other went to steal sheep.
The first one having accomplished his
business, wrapped IA shroud around him,
and took a seat in the Westinghouse door
to wait for his companion
A man on foot passing along the road
towards the tavern, took him to be ghost
and alarmed almost to death, ran as fast
as his feet could carry him to the tavern
which he reached out Of breath.
As soon as he could speak he declared
that he had seen ghost robcd in white
sitting in the church door. But nobody
would believe his story.
But incredulous as they were, no one
could be found that had courage enough
to go,
At length man who was so afflicted
with the rheumatism that he could scarce
ly walk, declared he would 90 if the man
would carry him there. He at once
agreed, took him on his back, and off
they went.
When they got in sight, sure enough
it was as he said
Wishing to satisfy themselves we'll and
get as near view as possible of his ghost
ship in the dim light, they kept ventur-
ing nearer and nearer
The man with the shroud around him
took them to be his companion with a
sheep on his back, and asked in low
tone Of voice:
" Is he fat p
Meeting with no reply, he repeated
the question, raising his voice higher.
Is he fat ?"
Still no reply.
Then, in vehement tone, he called:
Is he fat?"
This was enough. The man with the
other on his back replied
Fat or lean you may have him"
And dropping the invalid he travelled
back to the tavern as fast as his feet
would carry him. Bnt he had scarcely
arrived there, when along came the in
valid on foot, too
The sudden fright had cured him of
rheumatism; and from that time for
ward he was a we'll man.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
A Dutchman's Experience at a Ball.

WEN Wrist gets to dat ball tauEen
Y place, | goes NIT mineself und an
oder friend to me, up stairs to room
where he got a couple of drinks, und we
enjoys ourselves for a little vile brettv
goot in private kind of way. Alder
NIT dat private meetings atioins, goes.
NIT dat ballroom again, und de moosic
fiddlers vas hart at work, und SO ish de
tanzers ; for dat tanzing ish going ahead
nit quite fast, und every pody ish lookin'
so pleased und delighted ash poodle
tog.
untertook to tanzen nit dat waltzes
ding in partnership NIT nice splendid
laty girl vot dat floor manager makes a
introduction to me nit, but I get so diz-
zy NIT mine head dat I fall town nit my
self right in de middle of de tanze, und
de ballroom floor, which dngs ubset
apout six odder couples peside mineself,
und dat ting makes dat valtzen tanzcn
stop right away, und some odder tanzes
ish set agoing. How it ish dat slip ub
und fall down NIT dat valtzen | can't dell
unless 1t vas on ACCOUNT dat ish haben
on mine Yankee poots instead of tanzen
slipbers, or else dem private meetings ish
to much for me-
Ven dwelve oklocks strikes, den at
lends anodder private meeting by Wheel
er's blace, on der Market straus, and |
vote at it NIT a sofa cocktail NIT sugar
in und afder dat l makes makes mine
way nit mine poarding-house, at which
blace | must stand outside panging at de
toor until tree o'klocks in de morning,
pefore ! can vaken ub de sleepy heads
inside so dhey can come town quick and
make de toor open SO | can got inside
und NIT mine hunki tory ped.
don't so noding against any sociaple
hop barty ball, yet still l dink it would pc
peter if dhey would pc held in ter tay-
light dime, 80 ash beeples vot likes to go
NIT such blace wouldn't lost no sleep,
und would den haben a chance to get ub
de next tay mitout treadful pad tamna-
tion headake balm, vot most dook your
senses away, shust like | ish now enshoy-
ing NIT no sport.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
Had to be Paid For.

He of whom we write lived in one of
the numerous cities" of Michigan. In
addition to farming he made little
(some said much) money by selling beef.
But according to his own statement he
always lost money by it. While serving
his customers with tender steaks he
would speak feelingly of how much was
lost on that " critter."
=" Well, Uncle Johnny" said Gus
toner, "if you lose so much money, why
don't you quit business 7"
Uncle Johnny was equal to the occa-
sion, wb"" he replied, in slow and thought
full manner, Well, the fact is, I've Just
bought the farm next south of mine, and
ats got to be pail tor."
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
SSr- Soon after Chief Justice Chase

S8- Soon after Chief Justice Chase
assumed the gubernatorial chair in Ohio,
he issued his proclamation appointing a
Thanksgiving Day. To make sure of
being orthodox, the Governor composed
his proclamation almost exclusively of
passages from the Bible, which he did
not designate as quotations, presuming
that every one would recognize them, and
admire the fitness of the words as well
as his taste in their selection. The proc
lamation meeting the eyes of Demo-
cratic editor, he pounced at once upon it,
declared that he had read it before
couldn't exactly say where-but he
would take his oath that it was downright
plagiarism from beginning to end! That
would have been a pretty fair joke but
the next day the Republican editor came
out valiantly in defence of the Governor,
pronounced the charge false and libelous,
and challenged any man living to pro,
duce one single line of the proclamation
that had ever appeared in print before.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27
qEbe Glues, New BIoonrflelo, ABA.
Couldn't Spell 1t.

Il
a YANKEE from the Green Noun
IA tains, visited the city of London.
While passing through one of the thor
oughiares, his attention was arrested by
some specimens of writing paper, exposed
for sale in shop window Seeing the
proprietor of the establishment standing
at the door, the Yankee civily inquired
Of him what he did with them nice bits
Of paper"
i" We keep them to tie up cape seed in
said the cockncy, snappishly. Oh, ye du
-du e? said Jonathan. Passing down
the street few steps, our indignant Yam
kec saw another merchant.
" / say mister, can you tell me what
that teller does for livin' what keeps
them ere nice bits Of paper at the win
der?'
" Yes, sir. He is a small dealer in
paper and a sort Of scribe He writes
letters for persons"
" | reckon it is a very small dealer and
that he is 4 pharisee as well as IL scribe
Do you think he will write letter for
me if [ pay him for it ?"
The Yankee thrust his hands into his
pockets almost up to his elbows and walk
ed back
" | say, mister, they say as how you
sell and write letters for folks what can't
write. What will ye AK to write letter
to my sister Sally ?"
| shall charge you five shilings."
"Will ye write just what | tell ye. and
spell the words right as we do in Yer
mont?"
"To be sure | will"
" Well, | guess you may write to Sal
ly."
The Londoner procured pen. ink
and paper, and the Yankee commenced
debating after the usual style:
Dear sister Sally"
Rived in town last week"
" Have ye got that down ?"
eyes, go on"
:" Thought go into the country and
take a ride"
" Well the old mare baked. She
"ouluh 20, so Ilckeu her.
"Wcll 90 on"
" Licked her-lickcd her-licked her
licked her"
" What is the use Of saying that so
many times ?"
" None of your business. 1 pay you
five shillings licked her-licked her
licked her-licked her
A" This page is fnll of licked hers"
" Turn over then-licked her, licked
her, licked her, licked her. She wouldn't
go then, so | got out and kicked her,
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her"
" You are not intending to say that
as many times as you said licked her"
=" None of your business; pay you.
Kicked her, kicked her, kicked her
She wouldn't so then 50 I sharpened the
end of a whip handle, and l pricked her,
pricked her, pricked her, pricked her"
" 1t cannot see any sense in all this"
" Never mind, I pay you. Licked her,
kicked her, pricked her, licked her,
kicked her, pricked her, licked her, kick
ed her, pricked her.
Diie wouluh go then, so L got out
and l'-(here the Yankee made CHR
ruping noise with his tongue and lips
which bids defiance to photography
| cannot spell that"
"Oh, ye can't spell that, ha? Wal, ye
needn't write any more for me-"
"Need not write any more?"
"No more," said the Yankee.
Not word to close with ?"
Nary word"
You will pay me for what l have
written 2"
"Not red. Yon did not write down
all told you to-"
Well, sir, what am l to do with all
this paper | have spoiled 7"
Keep 1t to tie up cape seed"
Had to be Paid For.
He of whom we write lived in one of
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27

What is our life at its longest What
are the schemes npon which we most set
our heart -? We grow old while we yet
feel young. Our bark that glided swiftly
along the shores Of life, quickly gets out
into the rapids beyond which are the roar
and the foam of the great Niagara.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27

GB " never knew man." says an old
author "who could not bear another's mis-
fortunes just like Christian" re-
minds us of the old lady who thought every
misfortune to her friend judgment.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27

BeS~ A veteran observer once declared
that no one knew what envy and jealousy
were until he had served in the army
The observer probably had never belonged
to a church choir.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27

DS~ A year of pleasure passes like a
floating breeze; moment Of misfortune
seems an age Of pain.
The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-09-27

@eS~ What does husbands promise
about giving up tobacco end in Why,
in smoke.
Juniata sentinel. [volume] (Mifflintown, Pa.) 1846-1873, 1870-08-17
YfgaI Sdrertiset1eHts.
REGISTERS NOTICE.


NOTICE is hereby given that the following
~ named persons have flied their Admins
traitors, Executors. and Guardian accounts
in the Registers Office of Juniata county, and
the same will be presented for confirmation
and allowance, at the Court House, in Miffiin-
town, on Wednesday, Sept. :, 1870, viz:
!. The account of L. X. Ulsh, Admir-. of
John W. Miller, late of Susquehanna twp,
deceased.
2. Tie final account OF S. G. Dressler,
Admir-. of Elizabeth Spade, late Of Green
wood twp, deceased.
8. The account Of John NJ. Winner, Guar
dian Of Clarissa Heck.
of Benjamin YOder, late Of Delaware twp.
deceased
8. The account Of Henry Zook, Guardian
of Sarah HertIler, one Of the minor children
of Daniel Hertzler. deed, IN account with
the estate Of the said Sarah Hert1ler.
g. The account Of Henry ZoOk, Guardian of
Davis Hertzler, one Of the minor children of
Daniel Herislcr,. decd, in account with the
estate OF the said Davis HeYt1ler.
Z. The first and partial account Of Jere-
miah Lyons, Admir-. Of Susan Hamilton, late
of Walker twp, decd.
8. The account of Mary Jane Martin, Ad-
ministrat-ix of James Martin, late Of Spruce
Hill township, decea'ed.
JOSHUA BEALE, Register.
Registers Office, Mif1intown,)
August =, 1870.