The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1870-11-12
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Our exchanges OF the past week come to us
filled with politics. Everything else seems to be
a matter of minor consideration. Were we to
skim the "oream' AS it literally appears, it
would be something like this "Vote for Smith
the pure and high minded Smith" Smith is
q base scoundrel. To our certain knowledge he
is thief and robber." Smith is temper
ance man, and a strict member of the church"
"Smith is ! common whiskey bloat and never
went to church in his life &c, t5c'
Many OF our exchanges are re-publishing poor
Artemus Wards Mormon story and crediting it
to a California newspaper. Any one who will
read Wards first published book will find the
story it originally appeared from the pen of
the gifted Browne himself.
There is said to be man in DEBORAH, Iowa, SO
Denurious that, when shelling corn, and kerr
mel flew into the od-pile, he removed seven
cords of wood to find it. 4 neighbor standing
near dropped kernel near where the searcher
was looking, but when ne found it he said :
"You can't too. me with that small kernel; the
one lost was II large one"
A New Jersey widow, finding her charms fad
ing, applied magic balm" few nights ago,
and woke next morning TO find her hair all fall
ing off, aud blotches as large as ginger cookies
all over her face She wants to interview the
balm MAN.
A poeticsl somebody is inspired by the dance
of society az follows:
smile of request, an assent and giggle,
A shake to the train, to the shoulders wriggle
A bounce, and slide, a turn, and skip,
A teter, back-hreaking bend and slip
And that is the graceful, the fairy-like "dip"
The Courer-JournM has this good item:
Seen Grants despatch to Meretzek:" 81 am
delighted that you have thrashed the scoundrel
Jim Fisk. He has lied about me and my dear
brother.in-law No. 49, He insulted me at Long
Branch. Go for him again. Give him unshirt.
ed thunder. My Administration will stand by
you. No longer let us have peace"
Jute bugs. boring into the skulls of Sioux
City ladies' are disappointed at finding no brains
within
An exchange gets off the following oonun.
drum on young lawyers;
"Why is young lawyer like nation al cur.
rency? Because he is "A legal tender aud some.
what green
mother out west recently addressed her
daughter thus; My daughter, you are new
Is years of age engaged TO be married. and with.
out freckls on your face. I have done my
duty"
Here is the little boys idea of ANGELS !"
Samfny's mother wished to spend the evening
at friends, and therefore put the little fellow
to bed, telling him about the guardian angels
who took care OF good little boys. To further
prevent the darkness from giving him fear, she
left the light dimly burning.
The next morning Sammy was up early and
full of news
mamma, saw the angels last night"
Did you: "
eyes. they got wings"
"Ahw
"They sung TO mt"
'Is it possible =
"And they bit on NE hand, the mast,
things"
The Ia Sallo Pr,~, cot ,,.. week. mention. IN,
names If few of the delegate, from Ottawa i,
attendance upon tie democrat. meeting there
and eject. upon them i'- u.uAl quantity of slime
For DOWNRIGHT and unmi .pted nastines,, W.
know OF No other repository Of such aboundan
resources 81, the La Sa,lo Prtw.
a man, boosting OF li. importance habit.
mouth Watering
Am.u in 'ho uu'.kir.. oi Rianuoul, Va, ha
been shouting blri.~hpt into I.,raps, lust Io
fun, but dul, his sport ha, been interiere
with for five years, owing o. ,amething th