The Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1870-1875, 1870-11-28
HUkOR0VS.

A4&HGAG AAI& AQGHNAts
WHO killed the most poultry?
Hamlet's uncle for he did murder
most foul.
FIGARO says he has reflected a good
deal on the lapse Of agss, and prefers,
on the whole, the age Of seventeen.
IT begins to look ominous when the
woman of the period wants her club
she used 60 be satisfied With her
broomstiek-
AN Anne riesp traveller says that
when the Rev. Mr.. Spurgson of Lon
don, gets excited, be hNwls like S
wilderness"
A New York payer announces
that Newark mans wife has bad
twins, so 4 that he is going to have her
arrested for repeating.
VIZ is Princess Louise like the
maiden in the House that Jack
B ailt2" Because, Of course, "She is
al for LOrne" (eOFlorD).
FAsHIoNABLE young lady, detaoh-
ing her hair previous 10 retiring
w hat dreams Susy come when We
have shuffi I'd of this mortal coil"
A STUDENT of anatomy says he has
not yet been able to discover "the
bone Of contention" but thinks il
must be situated near the jaw-bone.
MARY said an old lady, 1T IS a
very solemn thing 10 get married. :"
p" l know it IS, mother, " replied Mary.
Bat It IS = solemner thing not to. J"
A MILWAUKEE nurse says: "Ta'nt
much trouble to take care o sick pus-
thing and if they do they don't get it. y
AN Alabama editor itemizes his ad-
vices from East Tennessee as follows:
Methodist meetings continue with
increased inserest-sen eonyicts ship
ped TO the penitentiary."
Fisk, casting his eagle eye around
for new worlds to conquer. has
: pitched upon the base ball field, It is
said. His club will probably be
called the Watered Stockings.
ARE these pure eanaries?' asked
young gentleman, who was negotiat-
ing for a gift for his fair. Yes,
sir" said the dealer, eon6dsntially;
l raised them ere birds from can
airy seek. "
LANDLORD" said a traveller at the
table of a country tavern. this soup
is q little weaker than l an used to;
/ wish you'd Just let that chicken of
yours wade through it once more, if
you please.
An Individual who was puzzled to
know where all the Smiths came from
has oil last solved the mystery. At
Waterbury, Connecticut, on the door
of q factory appears a sign inscribed
: Smith Manufacturing Company"
AN Irishmau, officiating as chair
man OF q club, was annoyed at the tu-
multi created By set of unruly mem
bers, and astonished them By voeifer-
stiDg, "Jintlemen, will yees come TO or
der2 IF you only kape silent, you may
make IS much noise as you Place !"
Why SHE DIDN'T HAVE a GoosF.
Young lady Ito Mr.. Septimus Setting
ton. )-"Ob, Mr.. Septimusl it was too
bad of you not to accept our invita-
ton to dinner or Sunday. We only
had a nasty piece of roast beef, but if
you had come We should have had
g00sef
AN amusing incident occurred re-
Gently at a rural school. The subject
was the history of Samson, and the
question What foolish thing did
Samson doP-Expectation was on
, tiptoe 20 ascertain his peculiar weak
ness, when with a solemn precisen sss
and irrssisti5ly ludicrous accent.
He went down among the Philistines
and got wife
4 QUAKER maiden Of sixty in Indi-
ana accepted an offer from a Presby-
terrain deacon, and on being remon-
strated With 5Y delegation Of Friends
appointed to wait upon her for marry
ing out of the meeting, replied:
Look here! I've been waiting just
sixty years for the meeting to marry
me, and If the meeting don't want me
to marry out of it, why don't the
meeting bring along its boys?" The
delegation departed IN silence.
A LITTLE FELLOW, some four or five
years old, and who had never seen
negro, was greatly perplexed one DAY
whsn one came to where he and his
father were. The youngster eyed the
stranger suspieiously till be had
passed, and then asked his father:
Pa, who painted that man all black
SOP God did, my SOD, replied the
father. Well said the little enc,
still looking after the negro, i
shouldn' "a thought he'd held still
A GOOD joke was perpetratsd the
other day By q gentleman Of Manches-
ter, who was a passenger on the train
from Boston. There was some con-
trce far
men on the train IN relation to various
churches which were passed on the
route. On nearing the station at
Lowell the Jail in that city came in
sight, when some one who did not
know its exact character exclaimed q:
"What church is that2" Il guess
that's . close communion church,
said his neigabor in the next seat
''at any rate it isn'f a free-WIll
church"
SELLING AT Cosr.-We ali know
the nan who sells his things for
less than cost. He is to be found IL
every village. He Of whom We write
lived in one of the numerous cities
of Michigan. In addition to farming,
he made a little (some said much
money By selling beef. But, accord
ing TO his own statement, he always
lost money BY it. While serving his
customers with tender steaks, be
world speak feelingly Of how much
rss lost on that 'critter."
well, Uncle johnny" said Gus
toner, IF you lose 50 much money
way don't you quit the business?
Uncle Johnny was equal to. the oc
easion. when be replied in a slow ant
Thoughtful manner, well, the TACT y
I've Just bought the farm next sontl
of mine, and ITS got 10 be pad for.
ChnriRis GaIa-Nn Q