The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1870-05-06
BY MARK LEMON.

1879 a "
grace 1880, resided one Hans Schrap
schins, an industrious and closo-shav
ing barber. His industry met with
due encouragement from the bearded
portion Of the community; and thu
setter sex, whose greatest fault il
ieness, generally selected Hans fol
honor Of new fronting them, Wher
had grown tired Of the ~ringlets
ire had bestoTed, and which time
frosted.
Lans continued to shave and thrive
aa all the careful old burghers fore.
cold Of his future well-doing when be
with a misfortune, which prom
for a time to shut up his shoI
leave him a beggar. lie fell IN
eighbors warned Hans of the con.
FENCES of his folly; but all remon-
strances was in vain. Customers be,
came scarce, wearing out their pa.
ticnce and their wigs together; the
shop became dirty, and winter saw the
fie5 Of summer scattered on his show
board.
Agnes Flirtitz was the prettiest
girl In StocksbaWler. Her eyes were
az blue as a Summers sky, her cheeks
as rosy as an Autumn sunset and her
teeth as white as Winters snow. Her
hair was a beautiful haxen-not q
drab-but that peculiar seven-penny-
moist. sugar tint which the poets Of old
were wont to call golden. Her voice
was melodious; her notes In att. were
equal to Crisis; ia short, she would
have been q very desirable, l0vable
7oung lady, if she had not been a CO.
quette.
Hans met her at a festival given in
rommemoration of the demise of the
lurgomaster's second wife-I beg par
ron- | mean In celebration of his
rni1n with bis third bride. From
thaf day Hans was a lost barber.
sleeping, waking, shaving, curling,
reaving, powdering, he thought Of
rofhine but Agnes. His love dreams
uiaged him in all kinds of awkward
nre1icaments.
And Agnes-what thought she OF
The unhappy barber? Nothing, ex-
asps that he was a p~resumtuous puppy,
end wore questionable garments.
Hans received an iniimation of this
latter opinion and, after sundry quail
Jugs and misgivings. he resolved to
dispose ofhis remaining stock in trade,
aud, for once, dress like a gentleman.
Tho measures had been taken by the
tailor, the garments had been basted
and tried on, and Hans was standing
at MS door in a state of feverish OK
element awaiting their arrival in a
completed condition las there was to be
u fee on the morrow, at which Agnes
was TO be presently, when a stranger
requested to be shaved. Hans wished
him at the-next BARRIERS; but there
was something so unpleasantly posi-
tive in the visitors appearance that
be had not the power to object, so he
politely bowed him into the shop. The
stranger removed his cap. and Hans
discovered two very ugly protuber-
auces, one on each side of his head,
and Of most unphrenologial appear
auoe. Hans commenced operations
the lather dried as fast as he laid it
A. and the razor emitted small sparks
os 4 encountered the bristles on the
stranrer's chin. Hans felt particular
Tv uncomfortable, and not a word had
hitherto passed on either side, when
tbe stranger broke the ice by asking
rather abruptly, Have you any
sebnappsin the house2" Hansjumped
Ike a parched pea. Without waiting
for a reply, the stranger rose and open
ed the cupboard. L never take any
thing stronger than water" said Hans
tn renlv 10 the 8 Pshawl" which broke
tom the strangers lips as be smelt at
the e~ontents-of n little brown pitcher.
More fool you" replied the custom
~ Here, taste that-some Of the
riohest blood grape Of Rheinga;" and
he handed Hans a small flask. which
the sober barber respectfully declined.
Nal hal and yet you hope to thrive
Nth the women" said the stranger.
fNo wonder that Agnes treats you as
she does. But drink, man drink"
The stranger took a pipe, and cool
fv seated himself again In his chair,
huug one leg over the back of another,
md striking his finger brigkly down
his nose. ELECTED a fame that ignited
his tobacco, and then he pulled and
nuffed. till every moth in the shop
e0ughed aloud. The uneasiness OF
Hans increased, and he looked toward
the door with the most cowardly in
rsntion; and, lol two laughing, dim
lied faces were peeping 10 at them.
Hal how arc your" said the stranger
come in! come inl" and to Hans
horror, two very e~quivocal damsels
entered the shop. Hans felt scandal
ed. and was about to make a most
rowerful remonstrauce, when he en-
eountered the eye of his impertinent
stom and, from its sinister ex-
nression. he thought it wise to be ST.
ont. One of the damsels seated her
self upon the strangers knee, whilst
- r-~H--I nrnuf nnnwTnnIv 70
The barber. who, however: remained
proof to all her wlnks and bllnks, and
wreathed smiles"
"Sblitzenl' exclaimed the lady, "thc
mans an iciclel'
Hans, you're a fooll' said the
4tranger; and his inamorata c%oncurred
in the opinion. The flask was again
proSered-the eye-artillery was again
brought into action, but Hans remain
ed constant to pump water and Agnes
Niirtitz.
The stranger rubbed the palm of
his hand on one of his head ornaments,
81 though he were somewhat perplex-
eI nc the contumacious conduct of the
bt.rber; then rising, he gracefully led
Tile ladies out. As he stood with one
foot on the step of the door, be turned
big head %scornfully over his shoulder
and SAID, Hans. you are nothing but
"A barber; but before / eat, you shall
repent Of your present determine
lion"
"What security have I that you viii
keep your word?" replied Hans, who
felt emboldened by the outside situa
ton OF his customer, and tina shoI
poker, of which he had obtained pos
session.
"The best in the world" said the
stranger. Here, take thesel" anC