The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1870-12-15


cellent gravies, and no religion worth speak
ing of. 1t has been renowned for generations
as q land of innumerable entrees. No other
country under the canopy possessed so recon-
dite and exhaustive knowledge of the culi-
nary possibilities of cat, or the latent succu-
lence of dray-horses. No other people un-
derstood so well how to transmute nettles and
other humble herbaceous growths into human
force and fugacity. Her culinary alchemists
had the art of extorting nutriment from the
most unpromising substances, as Moses sum-
moned water from the arid rock in the desert.
1t happens that these mysterious ingenuities
are now OF use to her. Her cities are be-
leaguered and famine-stricken. and her mea-
sures of corn and cruises of oil have given
out. She is driven to forage: TO eke out
daily sustenance with collops of the strength
ening hut tenacious donkey, aud timbaes of
the lively but unsstis wing rat But even in
this extremity the native gayety and vivacity
of her people do not desert them. Like
Shakespeare's sexton who ''sung at grave
making, they make the sombre background
OF famine the tapestry whereon they
embroider lightsome decoration of quips,
and pleasantries, and puns, and hungry loco
sites. When hunger fell on the old Hebrews
In the wilderness, they sat upon the earth
singing lugubrious songs of lamentation,
shifting their wailing tinbrels, aud waiting
lOI dutllo anu Dduud Iu6 IT0uCu dCCbDb
the lean and bitter dispensation in airier and
more vivacious mood. They wait upon their
cooks as the Jews waited on Providence and
in the waiting interval they amuse themselves
with bon mats and with lively surmise as to
the ultimate influences of rat on the consti-
tuition.
Famine is a grim and fell spectre which it
requires no little valor to confront without
blanching. A million of Britons cooped up
within the walls of hungry city would bel
low like so many bulls of Bashan. and their
bellowings would tear the concave and startIe
the blue profound. million Americans so
environed would stand defantly upon the
battlements and spit ard swear till, having
exhaustt d the possibilities of eXpectOration
in blasphemy, they would either fight their
way out or strike the flag and establish COM
munication with the nearest repository
of beans and bacon. The Frenchman
makes but little noise, wastes no time
in fruitless invocation or imprecation,
but quietly goes to work and cooks things.
The cooking of cats, rats, donkeys, and
canary birds was of course the first and
natural expedent; but even these supplies
have limit and he has at last descended
upon the collection of animals in the JdrdjR
deS PLdnteS. The pensive yak has fallen. 1t
SINNERS in Savory sauces aud furnishes forth
the repasts of citizen, syldier, and priest
The cameleopard and the surging hippopota-
mus, the boisterous bear and the melancholy
gnu, are doubtless marked for sacrifice. SO
is the grey, sober camel, reft from his native
deserts to swelter in q Gallo pot or smoke
upon Gallo spit; doomed in life to be foftly
punched by the walking-sticks of curious
afternoon idlers, and in death to have
his choice portions criticised by middle-aged
gO,t1mets and his five stomachs severally
cursed as tripe by hungry but fastdious
populace. The monkeys are doubtless
doomed likewise-from the plethoric and
ponderous baboon to the attenuated and
gruesome chimpanzee. The pot awaits them;
soon will the garden of their captivity be
desolate and their various substances variously
disagree with those who have consumed them.
Neither ostrich, nor eagle, nor owl, shall
escape the offices of the poulterer nor the
fiery ordeal of the turnspit. Some of them
will avenge themselves upon their consumers
by defying digestion and imparting nightmare
instead of nutriment, but there appears no
present prospect that any of them will escape.
1t is really no laughing matter, although
the Parisians endeavor to take that vivacious
view of the case. Physiologists tell us that
the food of a people exercises a modifying
effect upon their characteristics. Does a
temporary diet of lions impart bravery !
That the Frenchmen hive never lacked, but
after a late supper upon the oldest and
toughest lion of the collection Trochu
and his staff might issue from the walls
so bolstered up and invigorated that the
Prussians would flee before them as the
Amaekites fled before the hosts of Joshua.
Does the consumption of owls impart wis.,
dom? If SO, hamper-full ought at once to
be sent to the Provisional Government, with
an urgent request to that body to ''get out
| side" of the birds without unnecessary delay.
| Does an exclusive diet Of mules impari
| obstinacy? If SO, municipal decree ought
| to ordain the alienation Herewith of
some edible of less determined and in
| flexible properties. Possibly Gambetta, in
prolonging a useless conflict, the only result
of which is to deepen the miseries of France
impose upon her continaally harder terms Of
settlement, and sacrifice legiOns of her sons,
may have been impelled thereto by an occa
sional haricot of donser, or fLet ddBiel' en-
! papei0tte, in which case it is to be hoped he
will promptly change his diet. Let us hav,
peace. If it comes soon it will not only bt
benefcent for France and the world, but i
will save the remnant of the menagerie in th,
| JdTdin deS PidnteS.