Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1870-09-01
as,isrellaueons,
From the September Galaxy.l
aMARK FWAINn ON POLITICAL
70 br!I v7s7 ECONOMY.


aI7lS ei.s ss-2.
PHILOSOPHY and Lightning Rods.
Political economy is the basis of all
good government. The wisest men of
all ages have brought to bear upon this
subject the.-ss--- eft
Here was interrupted and inform
ed that stranger wished to see me down
at the door. Invent and confronted him,
and asked to know his business, strug-
Cling all the time to keep tight rein
on my seething political economy ideas,
and not let them break away from me,
orget tangled in their harness. And
privately I wished the stranger was at
the bottom of the canal with cargo of
wheat on the top ofhim- was all IN
fever, but he was cool. He said he was
sorry to disturb me, but as he was pass
ing he noticed that needed some
lightning rods. said, "Yes, yes-go
on--what about it?' He said there was
nothing about it in Notwithstanding
except that he would like to put them
up for me. am new to housekeeping;
have been used to hstels and boarding
houses all my life. Like anybody else
ofsimilar experience, / try to appear Ito
strangers) to be an old housekeeper;
consequently said in an off hand way
that bad been intending for some time
to-have six or eight lightning rods put
up, but-The stranger started and
looked ciaquiringly at me, but was
serene, thought that if chaneed to
make any mistakes he would not catch
me by my countenance. He said he
would rather have my custom than any
mans in town. I said all right, and
started eff to wrestle with my great SUBJ
ject again, when he called me back, and
said it would be necessary to know ex-
actly how many .spoints" L wanted up
what parts fthe house wanted them
on, and whatquality or rod I preferred.
Itwas close quarters for man not used
to the, exigencies of housekeeping, but /
went through ereditably, and he proba-
bly, never suspected that 1 was novice.
I told him to put up eight ''points," and
put them all ON the roof, and use the
best quality of rod. He said he could
furnish, the ''plain" article at twenty
cents foot; coppered, twenty-five cents;
::'zin plated, spiral twist" at 80 cents,
that would stop streak of lightning
any time, no matter. where it was bound,
and "srender its errand harmless and
its further progress apocryphal-" i said
apochryphal was ne slouch of a word,
emanating from the source it did, but
philology aside, liked the spiral twist,
and would take that brand. Then he
said he could make two hundred and
fifty feet answer, but to do it right, and
make the best job in town of it, and at
tract the admiration of the just and un-
just alike, and compel all parties to say
they never saw a more symmetrical
and potheticalE display of lightning
rods since they were born, and suppos-
edheIreaIly couldn't get along without
four hundred, though be was not viudic-
tive and trusted he was willing to try.
I said go ahead and use four hundred
and make any kind of job he pleased
out Of il, but let me go back to my work
Sci gotrid of. him at last, aud now,
after half an hour spent in getting my
trainHof political economy thoughts
coupled together again, am ready to
go on once more.
richest treasures of their genius, their
experience of life and their learning
The great lights of commercial juris-
prudence, international confraternity,
and biological deviation, of all ages, all
civilizations, and all nationalities, from
Zorosster down. to Horace Greeley have
Here i was interrupted again and re-
quired to go down and confer further
with that lightning-rod man. hurried
off, boiling and dsurging with prodigious
thoughts wombed in words of such ma
jesty that each one of them was in it
self a struggling procession of syllables
that might be fifteen minutes passing a
given point, and once more confronted
him-he SO calm and sweet, 1 SO hot and
frenzied. He was standing in the con-
templative attitude OF the Colossus of
Rhodes, with one foot on my infant tu-
berose and the other among my pansies,
his hands on his hips, his hat-brin tilted
forward, or eye shut and the other
gazing critically and admiringly in the
direction of my principal chimney. He
said now there was a state of things to
make man glad to be alive; and added,
''I leave it to you if you ever saw any
thing more deliriously picturesque than
eight lightning rods on one chimney"
said 1 had no present recollection of
anything that transcribed it. He said
that in his opinion nothing on this earth
but Niagara Falls were superior TO il in
the way of natural scenery. All that
was needed now, he verify believed, to
make my house prefect balm to the
eye, was to kind of touch up the 9th er
chimneysa little and thus "add to the
generous coup d. dell a soothing uniform
ity of achievement which would allay
the excitement naturally consequent
upon the first coup d'etdt." 1 asked
him if he learned to talk out of book,
and If could borrow anywhere. He
smiled pleasantly. and said that his
manner of speaking was not taught in