Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1870-04-29
4 nysteriOu, visit.


The first notice that was taken Of me when
''settled down, recently, was by a gentleman
who said he was an assessor. and connected with
the u S Internal Revenue Department I said
| had never heard Of his branch Of business be-
fore, but was very glad TO see him, all the same
would he sit down He sat down. | did not
know anything particular TO say, and yet I felt
that people who had arrived Gt the dignity Of
keeping house must be conversational, must be
easy and sociable in company. So in default Of
anything else to say, l asked him if he WAS open
ing his shop in our neighborhood.
He SAID he was II did not wish TO appear
ignorant, but had hoped he would mention
what be had for sale
ventured to ask him chow was trade and
he said "So-so."
| then said we would drop in, and il we liked
his house as well as any other, We would give
him our custom.
He said he thought We would like his estsb-
lishment well enough to conine ourselves to it
said he never saw anybody who would 60 of and
hunt up another man in his line after trading
with him once.
That sounded pretty complacent, but barring
that natural expression Of villainy which We al
have, the man looked honest enough.
| do not know how it came about, exactly
but gradually We appeared to melt down and
run together, conversationslly speaking, and
then everything went along as comfortably a
cockwork.
We talked, and talked, and tsl5ed-at least
did And we laughed. and laughed, and laugh
ei-at least he did But all the time had ny
presence Of mind about me- had my native
shrewdness turned on, "full head" as the en-
gineers say. | was determined TO find out al
about his business, in spite Of his obscure an
swers-sud was determined | would have Il
out Of him without his suspecting what | was at
ment to trap him with deep, deep ruse.
would tell him all about my own business, and
he wonld naturally so warm to me during thi'
seductive burst Of confidence, that he would for
get himself and tell me all sbout his affairs be-
fore he suspected what was about. thought
to myself, My son, you little know what an old
fox you are dealing with. | said
.'Now YOU would never guess what | mad'
lecturing, this winter au1 last spring -
'sNo-don't believe | could, to save me Let
me see-let me see. About two thousand dollar
msybe? But no-no, sir, know you couldn' =
have made that much. Say seventeen hundred
maybe -
'Ha-ha | knew you couldn't. Ny lectur
ing receipts for lsst spring and this winter vert
fourteen thousand seven hundred and nifty dol
lars-what do you think Of that ~
why. it is amszing-perfectly amazing.
will make a note Of it. And you say even tins
wasn't all 2''
"An? Why. bless you, there was my income
from the Buffalo Erpress for four months
aoout-about-well, what should you say Il
shout eight thousand dollars, for instance -
say . Why, should say should like to se'
myself rolling in just such another ocean Of af
nuence Eight thousand III make note O.
IT, Mhy' man and on top of all of this ar
10 Understand that you had still more income -
''Hs-ha-ns Why, you're only in the sut.
uros Of 1t, so to speak. There's nv book 'Th,
lnnocents Abroad'-prioe So 50 to s5, accord.
ing to the binding. Listen to me. Look me il
the eye. During the last four months and I
half, saying nothing of sales before that,-bu
Just simply during the four months and a hal
ending March 15, 1870, we've sold ninety-6y,
thousand copies of that book Ninety-6v,
thousand Think oft. Average four dollars
copy, say. It's nearly four hundred thousan,
dollars, my son. get half -
.'The suffering Moses I'll set that down
Fourteen-seven-ff -ffty-eight-two hundred. To
tai, say-wel, upon my word, the grand total i
about two hundred and thirteen or fourteen
thousand dollars Is that possible -
possible II there's any mistake ITS th