The Bloomfield times. [volume] (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1867-187?, 1870-08-02
A WEDDING NIGHT INCIDENT.
HOW TOM BENNETT FIXED JOE THOMPSON.


was irresistible. They could not have
helped it to have saved their lives. I'll
tell you how it was.
Joe was about the most fancy-dressed
chap IN town-over nice and particular
IA perfect Miss Nancy in manner, al
ways putting on airs, and more dainty
and modest than girl Well, when his
wedding night came he was dressed. trunk
empty, and his pants, especially fitting
hlm as If they had been moulds and his
legs candles, and run into them. Tight
was no name for them. Their set was i'm
mense, and he was prouder than half a
dozen peacocks.
4" Aren't they nice, boys? ?' he asked
OF the two who were to be groomsmen.
and see that he threw himselraway in the
most approved fashion.
" Stunning Gorgeous r' replied Tom
bennett. Never saw anything equal to
them. But say, Joe aren't they just
the least bit tight? 1t strikes me that
you Will have some difficulty in bending
won't you :"
-, Pshow no! They are as easy as an
old glove see ~
10 prove the matter he bent down so
as to touch his patent feathers, when
crack . crack ! followed like the twin
report Of a revolver.
Thunder - exclaimed Joe. as he cIas-
ped his behind and found Il rent in
the cassimers from stem to stern. "Thun-
der. the pants have burst and what shall
do !"
should think they had, answered
Tom getting purple in the face as he en-
deayored to control his laughter, "but
there Is no time to get another pair. 1t
only wants half an hour to the stand up
time and we have a mile to 90. Car
riage waiting too"
" What shall l do? what shall |
do?'
I'll tell you what Joe, if mine would
fit you should have them and welcome.
but they are mile to big. see no way
but to have them mended"
" Who can | get to do it, Tom ?"
We'll, | am something of a tailor. and
can fix them so that they won't show.
Hold ON minute and III get needle
and thread"
" Can you? May heaven bless YOU p
" On with your coat" commanded Tom
MS he came back. Now lay yourself
over on the bed and I'll fix you in Il
short order.
The command was obeyed-the pants
monded-the coat tails carefully pinned
over So as to conceal the " distress for
rent" and all went merry as marriage
bell.un Tom followed his blushing bride
| to the natal couch.
There was only dim light in the room
but 1t enabled Joe, as he glanced bashful-
ly around to see the sweetest face in the
world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips the
lovely and loving blue eyes and golden
curls just peeping out from the snowy
sheets, and he extinguished it atogoth-
er, and hastened to disrobe himself. OFF
came the coat, vest, fancy necktie and col
lar, boots and socks in hurry but some
how the pants stuck. The more he tried
the more they wouldn't come, and he
tug@ed VainIy Tor half and hour.
Thunder shouted Joe.
" What is the matter, dear?" came in
the soltest Of accents from the bed, where
somebody was wondering what it was
that annoyed him.
1t was moment of desperation Joe
was entirely overcome by the situation,
and forgetting his bashfulness, blurtcd
out:
Molly, that cursed Tom Bennett has
sewed my pants, drawers, shirt and un-
dershirt all together"
" 1t is too bad. Wait moment dear"
a little stockingless foot first peeped
out, then ruflied night dress, the lamp
was lighted, and pair of scissors found
and Joe released, mentally vowing that
If he got the opportunity he would pay
his friend Tom back with interest for the
joke he had played on him.
Husband" If were to lose YOU I
would never be such fool as to marry
again"