Holmes County Republican. [volume] (Millersburg, Holmes Co., O. [Ohio]) 1870-1895, 1870-11-10
Brevities.

: The art of Bookkeeping-Don't
lend them.
. 1t is not always he who has the
most nose knows the most.
| The favorite novel of office seek
ers-"Put yourself in His Place"
| If a man is honest and truthful
4 there is little need of saying much
about it.
j jeff. Davis authorizes a denial
that he is writing or intends to
write novel.
i When reporters are short of time,
all they have to do is to make few
minutes.
| There are said to be 5000, 1000
dogs in the United States.
| China claims to have had life in
surance companies 5000 years ago.
| The Crown Princess of Prussia
makes her own bonnets and dresses
How sad she cannot set the fash
Iionsl ..... -.-
| A 'persimmon and saur kraut fes-
Itivar' for the benefit of the Laporte
bachelors is to be held soon.
| Some girls are like old muskets,
they use good deal of powder, but
won't go off.
The summer in England passes
lquickly, because there is so often
an evening mist.
Never wait for thing to turn up.
Go and turn it up yourself. 1t takes
less time and is sure to be done.
At Wamego, Kansas, is a shanty
which bears the sign aHere's where
you get meal like your mother
used to give you"
Steel needles first came into
England from Spain and Germany.
They were first manufactured in
London by a German in 1865.
1t is the opinion of the doctor
that the lawyer gets his living by
lplunder, while the lawyer knows the
doctor gets his by pillage.
Mrs. Macready, a lady who has
won considerable reputation as a
reader, has returned to this country
after an absence of ten years.
i
Swell-"Waiter, this-ah-chop's
vewy dwyw Waiter 'Ndeed, sir?
Perhaps if you were to order some
thing to drink with it, sir"
Punch.
How to lay off a square acre of
ground: Measure 209 feet on each
side, and you will have a square acre
within an inch.
A little dumb boy, when asked
what forgiveness was, wrote upon
his slate this beautiful reply; "The
odor which yiolets breathe out when
trampled upon" Though you tram
pie upon them, yet for all this they
difuse a sweet scent around you.
Iowa has ninety counties; only
four are Democratic. Three coun-
ties at the late elections did not poll a
Democratic vote.
This literary gem was picked up
in Evansville the other day; 1915.
Evansville Oct. 18th 1870. Voen
Jaehr after Dadt promist ia pay
to the order of the sum of Seven
ty Feife Dallars for valgeresieft at
af Presment Law viek intress from
Dadt."
Mrs: Crosby, of Iowa, is not only
wife of a justice of the peace, but
herself officiates as constable.
1t has been decided to build the
Union Pacific depots in Omaha, thus
making that city the terminus Of the
road.
A Terre Haute marriage in high
life was prevented by the young
mans discovering by overhauling a
family bible, that his prospective
bride was nine years older than dear
mamma had guaranteed her.
The revenue collections for the
fiscal year ending June 30th, 1869,
amounted to $16S, ,56O,1O7, against
$143,O27 ,9SS for the previous year.
New York paid the largest amount,
An Israelite lady, sitting in the
same box at an opera with a
physician, was much troubled with
ennui, and happened to cape. "Ex-
cuse me, madame" said the doctor,
Il am glad you did not swallow me-"
''Give yourself no uneasiness," re-
pied the old lady, 81 am a Jewess,
and never eat pork"
A man in Boston is so short that
when he is i'll he doesn't know
whether he has the headache or
corns.
Sixty members of an educational
institute, in Maine, recently spelled
caterpillar seventeen different ways.
A Question of Law.-Would a
kid, taking nap, be indictable un-
der the statue against kidnapping
John B. Cough tells the follow
ing story, though the joke be at
his own expense. Once while on 3
lecturing tour through England, he
was introduced to village audience
in these terms.
Ladies and gentlemen, l ave the
'onor to introduce to You the distin-
guished lecturer, Mr.. John B.
Cough, who will haddress us on the
subject of temperance. You know
that temperance, is thought to be
rather dry subject; but tonight as
we listen to our friend, the horator
hover the hocean, we may 'ope to
ave the miracle of Samson repeated,
an to be refreshed with water from
the jawbone of hassr
The total value of oysters sold
annually in New York market is
estimated at S., 100000, wholesalers
prices. About $4,00O,000 of this
sum is sold in and consumed in
New York and the neighboring
cities, and the balance is sent to
the interior. AS the price of oysters
to the consumer is at least double
+b,t aSl-a1 nv tho ubnlaSa1a dealer