The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1870-01-08
WIIIItH IUFLue hDNOCATH-
MISS PRIM versus MRS. TWIG.
VERDICT FOR THE DEFENDANT.

MIS- 1 olnemuS is the landladys name, and
she receives only five guests" more for
comfort than any pecuniarY profit resulting
therefrOm, she says.
Mrs. P. is fat, fair and forty sort Of
woman, who likes to enjoy herself, a char
acteristic not generally found among land
ladies' Of the present day. We all esteem
and like Mrs. p, though I'm afraid we
young fellows are not as respectable as we
ought 70 be, when we speak of her as old
Pol. However, that's neither here nor
there. Mrs. p. has nothing to do with my
story, so I'll say no more about Der, but 90
on with the Prim UerSuS Twig case.
AT the time Of the Prim Uersus Twig case
our party consisted of Mr.. and Mrs. Twig,
young married couple, very fond of each
other, although he was most absurdly ieaI-
Gus a Miss Prim, a remarkably staid lady,
Of forty or Whereabouts, who wears huge
waterfall, which she declares IS her own
hair (and I've no doubt it is, for she bought
and paid for it) n; Tom Brett, Harry Pierce,
tw. dashing young fellows, and myself,
Jack Hall, an old batch, at (your service).
All Of US arc taken desperately with the
pretty, fairy-like Mrs Twig, who smiles,
sings, shrugs her white shoulders, and
shakes her golden curls for all three in the
most impartial manner.
One evening, about two weeks ago, we
we're all at home, it being absolutely too
late to 90 any where else, Harry Pierce and
Mr.. and Mrs. Twig were on the balcony
the lady rocking herself to and fro in a pref
ty little rocking chair presented I'm not
ashamed to say, BY Jack Hall, and dis
played every time she tits backward, the
toes Of the cunningest bronze slippers that
ever adorned pair of Cinderella-like feet.
Tom was seated beside her holding dish Of
ice-cream, from which every other moment
the little fflrt took a spoonful, turning the
mOrsel to her rosy mouth, and raising her
arched eyebrows and setting her lips firmly
together, by way Of expressing how very cold
it was.
On the other side, Harry slowly waved a
blue ostrich feather tan Twig, leaning on
the railing Of the balcony smoking.
Miss Prim and myself were seated on a
sofa in the room, not from any choice Of
mine, l can assure you. The fact is, was
sitting there enjoying the evening paper, and
She placed herself at my side.
Suddenly my fair companion gave gasE
or snort, or something between the two, o.
something made up of both.
Good heaven" thought | to myself
"tbose dreadful cucumbers II (she had eater
two or three at dinner, and leaning anxi
ousIy toward her, inquired:
Are you i'll What is the matter ~
Matter, matter p returned Miss Prim
shaking ten dollars dollars worth Of from
curls in the most vindictive manner. "LooI
at that woman, and she extended her skin
ny fore-fnger in the direction Of the uncon
scious Mrs. Twig. "Ill, ill? She's en-
ough to make any modest person i'll ~
| had no objection to look at Mrs Twig
indeed, | spent half my time, when at leisure
in that occupation so, in quick obedienc'
70 Miss Prim, looked again.
Awful cunning" as my little neice says
She looked, too; her slender form swayine
70 and fro, her white dress falling in grace
full folds about her, and her still whittier teett
cleaning between her lips, as she gave frs
smile to Tom, then to Harry, and at las
(and it was all she did, too, for the ridicu
lous fellow was beginning to look like
young thunderstorm fairly beamed on Mr.
Twig
Who'd think she could do so p hisseC
Miss Prim, between a hundred dollar set Q
best teeth
''Do what r. ] asked, innocently. g
see no harm in eating ice-cream, though
perhaps, it is a little too soon after the sal
adj"
"Stuff and nonsense! Salad Don
be a fool - interrupted Miss Prim. q
don't care what she eats let her eat lobste
and milk, custard and lemon, if she want
to. It's her going on-her behavior ~
'Why, Miss Prim n cried l, perfectly
bowildered, "What is the dear little woman
doing ?"
"Dear littly woman !" sneered Miss Prim
"Oh! how mistaken you I'll are in that
that Mrs. Twig. Al if Mr.. Twig knew
what / know "
A Sigh.
What do you know, Miss Prim = asked
|, and then added, in a fit Of indignation
"But don't care what you know you
won't make me believe anything against
that innocent, girlish creature. "
"Ioity, toity are you 50 far gone al
that N exclaimed Miss Prim, raising a pail
Of the most artistically crayoned eyebrows
tGGirl.b ippooopt croot,,ro ;rJoolt
i-h, innocent creature, who receives a man
in her room every day, while her husband i.
absent and who said to him at the doc.
while they were feasting yesterday not tina!
| was listening, but my hearing is verd
sharp, $50 is your Imagination, thought d.
who said to him these very words 'Oh
if Dolly (Adolpbus, Mr. Twig's first name
should find us out = Never fear, MinnieI
Minnie is Mrs. Twig's first name), answer;
cd the wretch, although | think she is 4
great deal worse never fear, | don't think
he will make any discovery this week, and
next week my room will be in order, an9
you can call then. Upon which she said3
actually Mr.. Hall, 'Good-by, dear I; be sur1
and come tomorrow 2 artful mink !"
| confess l was staggered. i hesitated,
looked toward the artful mink. She wal
leaning toward Twig, holding out a spoont
full of ice-cream. He bent bis head in thd
most lover-like manner to receive it, while id
the face Of Tom and Harry was pIainld
written, "Ah if were Twig ~
"Hey, what do you think Of her now n
persisted Miss Prim, Juggling away at mJ
cOat-sleeve.
81 cannot believe it, yetp' ejaculatedi
"You must be the victim of some frightfui
mistake"
"Ah, alb indeed ~ stretching her thin;
long neck till she looked like a GRAFT
perhaps you would be wiling to come home
a little early tomorrow afternoon and SCI,
and hear the 'frightful mistake y"
fCT L n n