The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1870-11-25
a Dent Without an Office.

Correspondence OF the Cincinnati Gagette.l
WASHINGTON, November 1i-The
day before Commissioner FISHER with
drew from the Patent Office, some.
what amusing, If not significant, inter
view took place with man who
presented himself as an applicant for
appointment.
Colonel FISHER was seated at his
table, when a person entered, walking
very erect, and seated himself with a
pompous air, which of itself was clearly
patentable under the rules.
The Commissioner having completed
a paper he was endorsing, turned to the
stranger, and the following conversa-
ton ensued.
Colonel Fisher-Good morning, sir.
Stranger-Good morning, Mr.. Com
missioner. My name is DENT-brother
of General DENT, brother in-law of the
President, sir.
Colonel Fisher-Ah.
Stranger-Yes, sir. I've done IN ore
for the country and the Republican
party than any man in it,
Colonel Fisher-Indeed
Mr.. Dent-Yes, sir. And | am an
applicant for the position of Principal
Examiner.
Colonel Fisher-As / understand it,
sir, the position OF Principal Examiner
is not open for appointment. 1t is "a
place that a man cannot fill without
previous training and considerable ex-
perience in other departments of the
Office.
Mr.. Dent-But 1 can assure you, sir
that 1 am fully qualified for the place
| may say peculiarly qualified for it
and 1 must be allowed to add, sir, in
some respects, quite as well, if not bet
ter qualified for it than you yourself
are.
Colonel Fisher-Thc Principal Exam.
iner, sir, must, in order to be efficient,
be very thoroughly acquainted with
the whole machinery of the Office, and
the business pending before it, and,
even if it We're vacant, it should be fill
ed by the promotion Of the one next in
rank in the order Of competency and
general merit.
Mr.. Dent-As to my itications,
sir, I repeat they are all that can be
needed and, besides, have done a
great deal for the country, sir, Il great
deal.
Colonel Fisher-That is possibly true
sir; but there is no vacancy Of the kind
you name. There may be chance to
compete for Second Assistant Exam
inership shortly.
Mr.. Dent-How much does that pay?
Colonel Fisher--Sixteen hundred dol
lars.
Mr.. Dent-I am doing better than
that now but suppose I should want
to try for it, what is necessary
Colonel Fisher-We always require
the recommendation of some one
known to be in accord with the admin
istration.
Mr.. Dent-I would never ask mem
Der of the House or Senator to indorse
me. / should scOrn to have them, sir.
Would letter from General DENT do,
sir ? should bring that.
Colonel Fisher-A letter from Gener-
al GRANT would be proper indorse-
ment, siuce he is the administration.
Mr.. Dent-Then what?
Al
was vacancy in the place you want,
we should send all applicants before
board, and whoever passed the best ex-
would get the place.
Mr.. Dent-Suppose, sir, in that ex-
animation 1 should display qualifica-
tions quite equal to your own, or even
superior, and such as would fully fit
me for your place?
Colonel Fisher-Then, sir, whenever
there was vacancy should recon-
mend you sor it.
Mr.. Dent-I have no doubt my ex-
animation would so result, sir, and
show my qualifications to be equal to
your own.
Colonel Fisher-You have the entire
advantage of me, sir. Your constant
illusions to my qualification. may come
from something you know or have
eheard of me. l know nothing of
you, sir, and have never heard any
thing before.
Mr.. Dent-It seems to be useless to
press this conversation further, sir.
Colonel Fisher-I have indicated the
only way that an appointment can be
secured while am Commissioner.
With this the pompous gentleman
withdrew. Next day he returned and
went over the same ground with the
Acting Commissioner, and received
substantially the same information.
Not being satisfied with this he pushed
around into another room, where he ac-
costed gentleman he took to be con-
nected with the Patent Office, and be.
gan with very dignifled air:
Are there any Assistant Examiners
positions vacant?
Wag- Yes, sir.
Mr.. Dent-I desire to apply for one.
Wag-But who are you, sir?
Mr.. Dent-My name is DENT, broth
er OF General DENT-brother.i law of
the President, sir.
Wag-The devil you are Well, you
are just the man we want.
Mr.. Dent-How is that, sir?
Wag-You are just the man we want.
This is the only department in the gov
ernment that has not got a DENT in it,
and we want you, sir We must have
you. When can you come down?
The pleased expression that had GOV.
cred Mr.. DENTS countenance at the
first intimation that he was wanted
gradually faded, as the wag ran on, and
Just as company of bystanders broke
into a laugh the gentleman who had
done so much for the country, and
wa ntpl IN 1n mora liSanpoaroJ r., IA N