The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1870-02-15
WAYS AND MEANS.
Pen Pictures OF the Nations Pur'
Holders-"AIkakan


observation-disclosures"
Washington Correspondent Of the Chicago
Tribune (RepDl
The Ways and Means COMMITTEE at
tend to the whole matter on raising the
revenue. specifying what articles and
products shall be taxed, and in what
degree, and under what circumstances.
As il is a partisan committee, appointed
by a partisan speaker, according 20 his
conception of the strength of the names
upon il, and the influence of the major
ity of it upon Congress and the judg
mont of the country, the chances are
that the verdict of this committee will
be, in most cases, final upon Congress.
Therefore, the secret conclusions OF this
COMMITTEES are of vital consequence to
the interests of every private man in the
nation.
"ALKAKANGE."
Here is an instance of the wisdom OF
this right noble committee,
For several years there has appeared
on the tariff list an article called aka
kange, and by the name 1T was suppos'
ed to be some powerful drug, and TO 1t
was uniformly attached high duty.
MANY times when the puissant commit
tee reached the word, 1T was suggested
to reduce the duty, but straightway the
high tariff committeeman rose to their
feet and denounced any attempt to in
terfere with the protection of this yalu'
able article. -,
"Redeuce the duty on alkakange y
said Mr.. Kelly, "and is it thus that the
wages of the Am e-eI-ek-e- an leayber-
eur are to be rede eucedf Is an iude-e.
eus he. rev to be thus rutblessly exposed
TO feoreign ce-ompetition l oppose
the anne. endment of this duty, and ceall
eupon me beretheren of the kemeltee TO
jeom me-"
Up rises Horace Maynard:
al move to raiss the duties on aka
kange from sixty to six hundred per
cent? -,
"Och! smithereens! bedad! hulebeloo"'
cries Dionysius Dennis OMcCarthy, of
Syracuse, speaking the incest Portu..
guese accent, sis me hearts delight and
the perride of me keuntry, alkakange,
to receive no protection Shades OF
Blarney and Onondaga forbid it,
az am compelled" says Sehenck, ITO
vote against any reduction of the time
honored duty on alkakange. AT this
time, in particular, it requires our most
delicate nurturiDg"
Mr.. Hooper puts his hand in bis rear
ward coattail pocket, and says be:
"Alkakauge was regarded by James
Otis, Samuel Adams, Cotton Mather,
and Oakes Ames as worthy of the foster
ing care of the nation. Duty and ira
dition compel me to vote for its reten-
ton, but at this special juucture l do
not feel called upon to say that 1T re-
uuiries more protection"
"The lumber forests of Michigan
saws Austin Blair, "murmur through
their vast recesses, protect our tender:
est sister, the pride of our solitude, al
kakangew
Now q few months ago, some obstin.
ate free trader, coming to the name al
kakange," said aloud:
"What in the devil is alkakange any
how ~
"Deoes the geenteil mean neot
. kneow 7" said Kelley.
"Here's freshness !" says Austin
Blair.
"Bludanouus cries Mccarthy" did
We liver her SIGH ignerince y
Alkahaukc4 d"hNt AN~N
never ask the friends of our industry to
describe it,"
But this applicable free trader sent
for an unabridged dictionary, and, look
ing it all through, he found no such
word as alkakange. He got no more in
struction from a cyclopadia. He asked
in vain of DR.. Ure's Dictionary of Sci
ence aud Arts. The faces of the CON-
mittee grew very long. Some one sug-
gested that any druggists apprentice
could tell.
So they sent to New York for first
class chemist aud paid him mileage and
per diem, and said he:
ats my belief that there's no such
thing in all the length and breadth of
pharmacepi@ ~
Here the high tariff folks'exhibited
indications of collapse.
At last they raked out Of the gulf Of
the Government Printing Office an anci'
ent proof reader, and asked him to &C
count for dlkakdnge.
He put on three pairs of spectacles
and q green shade over his eyes, and
took up the printed list.
"Well!" he said, "this beats natur and
Ginrsl jackson, in whose administra-
tien was appinted. Gentlemen, nine
teen years ago, o lot OF quods, quoins,
leads ak& old type, that we used to
ballast the tariff forms with, Iiz up on
expected through the fat matter of the
tariff list, and they accidentally spelled
ont the work alkakangie. s'pose that
you've bio q laying big duties on aka
kcngie ever sincel"
The old proof reader put his hands on
his hips, took off his spectacles. and
laid down on the floor of the Ways and
Means Committee and laughed and roll
led for the space of three quarters of an
hour. By the time he got up, Kelley
had been round to the Government
Printing Office and got him discharg-
cd. 49,
A special meeting of the committee
was ct once called, and Mr.. Mccarthy
rose:
al move We, sur, that the article
known as alkaksnge be put upon the
fraa listw
al object" says Horace Maynard
nmove to substitute 500 per cent"
81 am weilleing," says Kelley, in deep
basso. "to be guelded in theis einsteance
by a preoper REGARD for the eopeineons
OF me keolleagues, and second the
meoteon."
The next day Mr.. Schenck arose in
the House, and said that the committee
had made o meterial reduction in the
tariff. Alkakangie had been added to
the free list.
It win be very proper on the part of
Congress- to find out which Of its men,