Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1869-06-24

the ''money business we would like to
see him trotted out. He is genius, he
is versatile, he is shrewd, he is adapta-
BILE, he is conformable, he is mouldable,
he is plastic He can, if necessary fill up
a barn door with his ponderosity, or slip
as snugly through keyhole upon occa-
sion, as though he were of the ''air, airy"
He is ubiquitous. He can just as easily
be at two places at once, as that Butler
can look at two spoons ten feet apart at
the same time. He beats all creation ION
the make" He can out-Herod Herod in
the chase after greenbacks. He "carries
the belt for ingenuity in plans to get into
a man pocket, AID wears the antlers' for
swiftly doing it. He hesitates not to
"stoop to conquer" when there is ten cents
on the tapis. He is so slick, SO plausa-
BILE, so sympathetic, so humane, SO con-
so careful of ones feelings; oh,
he is so nice and good au3 kind when he
wants to make dollar eh of you. He
is great On getting up shows; heavy on
prize preachers and prolific potatoes; i'm
mense on shanghaes and spiritualism !;
grand on telegraphs and toadyism; but
perfectly stupendous on missionaries and
musical iubilees, when he has the hand
ling of the wherewithal, and provided it
don't cost him dime.
For several months past Boston has
been in hubbub about Grand Peace
Jubilee" which eliminated last week, and
which President Grant and the balance of
the pub. fumes. graced with their pres
ence, and with one exception, the war, it
proved to be the best paying scheme the
Yankee has ever gotten up. 1t excslled
anything in the barefaced legal robbery
line that has occurred for many year.
Not direct putting of the hands into ones
purse, bat SO manouvreing matters as to do
worse Besides the admission fee, which
ranged from all the way up to one hun
dred dollars down to three dollars, any
hapless wight who had the temerity to
visit Boston about the time of the occur
renee had to pay double and thribble the
usual hotel bills.
All the musical societies of the New
ngland States were in attendance, with
their instruments, big and little. They
had an immense drum manufactured
which measured some thirty feet in cir
conference they had one thousand in
strumental performers, and chorus u
ten thousand voices they had one hun
dred fremen in red shirts, who played
upon one hundred anyls with sledge ham
mers they had battery of artillery sta
toned outside the building, which belched
forth its deep throated mutteriDgs as the
singers sang and the instruments squeak
ed and footed and besides, they had at
tached to all the church bells wires that
led to the stand OF the chief musician at
the musical hall, And they whooped and
they howled and they squealcd, and they
screeched upon fddles, and blew their
brains out upon tromboncs, and they bust
ed their jars on SAKE horns, and they
popped their eyes out on clarionets, and
they twisted their arms off on ophchlides,
and they spluttcrcd on flies, and they
clawed on pianos, and they ratified on
drums, and the artillery rumbled, and the
hundred anvils sounded, and the bells
changed, and the patriotic Bostonians
stopped over with joy, for their Golfers
were being filed. But the most signif-
cent and Characteristic event of the first
days performance, according to writer
who was there, was prayer delivered by
one thousand bible banging, God and mo-
rality, nasal t~angcd preachers. And it
all passed off ga loriously
The railroad depots and steamboat land
ines the next morning were scenes richly
to be remembered. Every available space
was occupied on car and steamboat. Ev-
cry Granny, from locomotive to smoking
carriage, aud from bow to rudder, was
filled with instruments There were piles
of fddles on the platforms of cars and
upon the gangway decks of steamers; there
were stacks Of brass horns in baggage
cars and in ladies cabins: there were pyr-
anids of drums so high that it was diff
cult to get to the water coolers Of the cars
or the pilot houses of the steamers; in
short, a man could hardly step without
breaking the neck of venerable bass vi
oil, or squeezing the wind Out of some out
landishly named squeaking thing. On
every hand you could hear some irate
Teuton, in language bellicose and loud,
attacking the unfortunate wretch who had
broken his concertina, CIR bewailing the
fate of favorite violin whose bowels had
been stepped into by the awkward foot
of some unmusical miscreant.
And all this fal-de-ral was for the cele-
bration of what they term the "return Of
peace p Was there ever keener irony,
and upon such scale? Look at the con-
dition of Virginia and her southern sis