The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1869-03-18
Where the Laugh Comes In.

Slavery in England. d.-"Horrible~ % said
Mrs. Wiggins, when she heard that many
young gentlemen were daily "sold."
1t is considered cool to take mans
hat with his name written in it, simply
because you desire his autograph.
The most direct method of determining
horse power-stand behind and tickel his
hind legs with briar.
Why ought pig to be the cleverest of
animals ; Because he has hogs head of
brains.
In returning thanks in an after-dinner
speech, Brown declared that he was "too
full for utterauce."
In a committee of ladies whatever is
voted is no doubt always carried by a
handsome majority.
A school committee-m writes: "We
have a school house large enough to ac-
commodate four hundred puples four
stories high"
A very eulogistic obituary of lady
says, "She was married twenty-four years
and in all that time never once banged
the door,"
Punch says that woman who make up
their faces deceive themselves, if they
think by so doing, they are more likely to
tempt men to make up their minds.
''Isn't your bill awfully steep?" in
quired a spendthrft of his tailor. "You
ought to know best, for it was run up by
you," was the cool reply.
81 can't undertake, wife, to crafty all
your whims; it would be as much as my
life is WORTH" "Oh, sir that's nothing"
she replied.
An article announcing the decease of a
person, says: "His remains were commit
ted to that bourne whence no traveller re-
turns attended by his friends"
"Where do you hail from 2" queried a
Yankee of traveller. "Where do you
rain from p "DOn't rain at ALL" 'Neth-
er do l hail-so mind your own business"
A Wholesale Wish.-At a recent din
ner of shoenlHkers che following tc&st WIS
given: "Dlay we have all the women in
the country to shoe and all the men to
boot"
"Do you think that raw oysters arc
healthy 2" asked lady of her physician.
eyes," replied he, 81 never knew one
complain of being out of health in my
life 2"
A lady in paroxysm of grief was said
to have shed torrents of tears. "Poor
thing" remarked an unfeeling punster,
''she must have had catarac in each
eye"
The Mayor of an English town has just
put forth an announcement previous to
the races-"No gentleman will be allow
ed to ride on the course except the horses
that are to run"
The following bill rendered by car.
penter to farmer for whom he had work
ed seems at least curious :--"To hanging
two barn doors and myself seven hours,
one dollar and half.
"Why don't your father take a newspa-
perl" said man to a little-boy whom he
caught pilfering his paper from his door
steps. "Cos, he sends me to take it," an
swered the urchin.
An uptown blood is going to give a
velocipede reception. First part Of the
evening, the guests will 60 round on a ve-
locipede; the latter part, if possible, on
their feet-if not, on shutter.
A miller, in giving testimonial to the
proprietor of powder for destroying ver-
min, astounds us with assertion, 81 was
full of rats fortnight since, and now |
don't think l have one."
A pragmatical young fellow, sitting at
table opposite Lord Eldon, when plain
John Scott, asked him, "What difference
there was between Scott and Sot %
"Just the breadth of this table," was the
reply.
Different Way of Telling a Story-"A
large man eating shark captured off Sol
way FIRTH" Another newspaper reports
the circumstance as follows: GA large
man, eating shark was captured off Sol
way FIRTH"
A schoolboy having good naturedly
helped another in difficult cyphering
lesson, was angrily questioned by the Do
minie-"Why did you work his lesson l'
"To 'lessen' his work." replied the young
ster.
elbow are you to-day |" inquired doc.
tor of his patient. GA little better thank
you" "Have you taken any dinner to-
dayp eyes, little goose" "With ap.
petite 70 "No, sir, with apple-sauce."