Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1869-08-17
THAT HORRIBLE CHICAGO.


once met Chicago lawyer who warmly ad.
vocated marriage, and who explained to me
his reason for so doing. For such man ia
do such thing was, to say the leRst sur
prslng. / listened with breatbless interest,
while he gave me brief history of his exne.
rience during the first ten years OF his resi-
dence in that celebrated city.
Said he IL first came 10 Chicago fifteen
years ago. Then ] was young and Innocent,
which IL is hardly necessary for me TO say
that / am not at present. had friend liv.
ing here whom had known while he resid-
cd in New York, and conducted himself like
n civilized man IN a civilized community
AS he had written TO me TO visit himself and
his vile when | came TO Chicago, remem-
bered the invitation when l did visit that
city, and Immediately on my arrival pro-
ceeded TO his house. He was moi at home
just nj the moment, and so l asked to sec his
wife, whom had known only year before
In New York. In answer TO my inquiry fol
Mrs. De worse, pretty, black.eYed girl
came into the dJawing-room and received me
quite warmly.
"Well, we chattcd very pleasantly togeth.
er until my friend came in, and / really felt
myself beginning to experience a very aifec
tionate impulse toward her, supposing, ol
course, that she was his niece, or cousin, OF
uncle, or something of that sort. But in the
course of The evening asked him whether
his wife was at home and if so, when he
proposed TO let me see her.
ITO my nstonlshmeni, he replied, This
lady is Mrs. De worse. thought you were
already aware Of the fact.
"Of course | blushed and felt horribly un-
comfortable, and sad that was not aware
that he had lost poor Emily.
"'Oh,' SAID he, Emily is very well, and
has married partner of mine. We were
divorced, you know, about six months ago,
and 1 married my present wife only last
/ week
"Well l didn't feel quite so aiIcctionate
Toward her after that, for had been warmly
attached TO Emily, but we said no more
about the matter, and / went away, vowing
never to get myself into such scrape again
by asking after anyhody's wife. did not
see my friends new vile for about II month
afterwards, until one day met her in the
house of a mutual acquaintance, and in the
course of conversation said to her, by the
way, might ask you to say to your husband
that want him TO come TO my office some
day next week ?
81 don't think you know my husband,
she replied, smilingly.
"'What do you mean,' said l, getting
rather nervous.
"'Why my new husband is named Smith,
she answered. i was separated from Mr..
De Worse yesterday morning, and married
Mr.. Smith last night
81 left that house pretty rapidly, and reg.
istered second vow, to the effect that
would never, 10 my dying day, ask Chica-
go lady about her husband again. The two
mistakes had already made ms 10 Chicago
wives and husbands made me decidedly shy
of them. But the very next day / went into
De Vorse's store, (corn, pork, and provi
sions) and found him engaged in cOnversa-
tion with terribly angular female, who
looked like compound OF a New England
old maid, a Western wOman's rights lectur
er, and an Arkansas squatters wife. OF
course / pitied my friend; and, when the ter
ribe creature had gone, remarked, Il con-
graduate you on your escape; that horrible
female would have exhausted any MANS pa
was my horror when he replied, 4 must beg
you TO speak more respectfully of that lady;
she is at present my wife, fact OF which
you are, OF course, unaware, as we were
married very privately last night
81 never said word, but fed abruptly
from his presence. Once more swore-
and l went before notary, who had the
biggest kind of Bible, so us 10 make the
oath more binding-that never, never would
speak Gisparagingly of any Chicago woman
TO any Chicago man. Alter that | felt bet
more mistakes. AT the end of that time,
however, / met the new and angular Mrs.
De Worse, TO whom | had, in the meantime,
been introduced, having the llveliest kind of
quarrel with big, prize fighting looking
fellow, who was apparently on the point of
knocking her down. OF course flew to her
rescue and demanded 10 know of the fellow
what he meant; also II he was aware who
that lady was, and who was her husband
To which he briefly, sententousy, but, as
il struck me, irreverently remarked, 'Hellr
81 paid no further attention 10 him, but
turning TO Mrs. DE Worse, said, Madame,
permit me TO protect you from that ruiiian's
insolence'
"Instead Of thanking me, she actually
slapped my face and said:-'l'll teach you 10
interfere between man and wife. that's my
husband, and we have been married three
days. IT'S pretty hard thing If wife can't
stop in the street TO speak TO her husband
without having some idiot come up and
make muss about il.
"Now," continued the lawyer, "this is
not only true story, but it is a lair example
of the continued trouble that man gets into
who lives in Chicago and doesn't know how
to hold his tongue. You now understand
why hate the Chicago customs, and why
go in for indissoluble marriages. | never
made mistake IN asking a man about his
wife the whole time | lived in New York,
but here ] have got into more awkward
places, and had more fights than l can
count just because no man or woman stays
married more than month at furlhest."
We drank weak lemonade together in sol
emn thoughtfulness, and parted from him
with the feeling that bad as il Is to be indis-
soubly connected with an unpleasant
moiher-in law, it is better than to be con-
stantly bothered by n change of wife.