The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-06-12
NEW UNCOMMERCIAL SAMPLES.
BY Charles Dickens.
A PLEA FOR TOTAL ADsTINENoE.

o'clock in the forenoon, there suddenly rode
into the field of view commanded by the win
dows of my lodging an equestrian phenomenon
Il was fellow-creaturc on horseback, dressed
in the absurdest manner. The fellOw-creature
wore high boots, some other (and much
larger) fellow-creature's breeches, of a slack
baked doughy color and baggy FORM blue,
shirt, whereof the skirt OF tail was pulily
tucked into the waistband of the said
breeches, no coat, q red shoulder-bclt, and
demi-semi-military scarlet hat with n feathered
ornament in front, which to the uninstructed
human vision had the appearance Of n mOulting
shuttlccock. laid down the newspaper with
which had been occupied, and surveyed the
fellOw-man in question with astOnishment
Whether he had been sitting to any painter as a
frontspicce for new edition of SartOr Resar-
tus; whether ''the husk or shell of him, as the
esteemed Herr Teufelsdroch might put II, were
founded on jockey on circus, on General
Garibaldi, on cheap porcelain, on a toyshop on
Guy Fawkes, on waX-wOrk, on gold digging, on
Bedlam, or on all, were doubts that greatly
exercised my mind Meanwhile my fellow-man
stumbled and Sided, excessively against his
will on the slippery stones of my COvent Gar
den street, ard elected shrieks from several
sympathetic females, by convusiyely restrain
ing himself from pitching over his horses head.
In the very crisis of these evolutiolS, and in
deed at the trying moment when his chargers
tail was in n tob~c Onist's shop, aud his head
anywhere about town, this cavalier was Joined
by two similar portents, who, likewise STUN
bling and sliding, caused him to STUN
bic and slide the more distress
ingly. At length this Gilpinian trium-
virate effected half, and locking
northward, waved their right hands as com
manding unseen troops to up, guards, and at
'em. Hereupon brazen band burst forth,
which caused them to be instantly bOlted with
so some remote spot of earth in the direction of
the Surrey Hills Judging from these appear
ances that procession was under way, threw
up my window, and, craning out, had the salts
| faction of beholding it advancing along the
street. 1t was Teetotal procession, as l learnt
from its banners, and was long enough to con-
sumo 20 minutes is passing. There were great
| number of children in it, some of them
! very young in their mothers arms as to be in
the act of practically exemplifying their absi
nence from femented liquors, and attachment
| to an unlntOXicating drink, wEic the procession
| dehled. The display was, on the whole, plea
| sant to see, as any gOOd-humOred holiday assem-
| blage of clean, cheerful, and well-conducted
| people should be. 1t was bright with ribbons,
| tinsel and shOulder-belts, and abOunded in
| flowers as if these latter trophies had come up
| in prOlusiOn tundcr much watering. The
day being breezy, the insubQrdnatiOn of the
| large banners was very reprchensiDle. Each Of
! these being borne alOCt on two DO3s and
! stayed with some half-dOZen lines, was carried,
as polite books in the last century used to be
! written by various hands" and the anxiety
expressed in the upturned faces of those officers
something between the anxiety attendant on
the balancing art, and that inscparablc from the
| pasinC of kite-tlying. with touch of the
| anglers quality in landing his scalv prcy-much
impressed me. Suddenly too, n banner would
shiyer in the wind, and go about in the most
| ncOnvencnt manner. This always happened
oftenest with such gorgeous standard as
those representing gentleman in black, cOrpu-
lent with tea and water in the laudnble act of
summarily reforming family feeble andpinchcd
with beer The gentleman in black dStendcd
by wind would then conduct himself with the
utmost unbecoming leyity, while the beery
family, growing bccrier, would frautiCllIy tear
themselves away from his ministration. Some
nt hn ions roO vi M
were of highly determined character, as I'VE
never never will give pthe temperance cause,
with similar sound resolutions rather suggestive
to the prOfane mind of Mrs. MicawbcT's u never
will desert Mr. Micawber," and of Mr.. AIcaw-
ber's retort, "Reallv, my dear, am not aware
that You were ever required by any human
being to do anything of the sort
At intervals Il gloom would fall on the passing
members of the procession. for which ! was at
first unable to account. But this | discovered,
after little observation, to be occasiOncd by the
coming on OF the EXecutiOners-thc terrible
| official beings who were to make the speeches
by-and-by-who were distributed in open car
rages at various points of the cayalcade. \
dark cloud and a sensation of dampness, rs from
many wet blackcts, invariably preceded the roll
ing on OF the dreadful cars containing these
Hcadsmen and | noticed that the wrctched
people who closely followed them, and who were
in a manner forced to contemplate their folded
arms, cOmplacent couutenances, and threaten
ing lips. were more OVershadOWed by the cloud
and damp than those in front. Indeed, / per-
ceved in some Ofthcse somOOdy nimplacablity
towards the magnates of the scaffold. and 80
plain n desire to tear them limb from limb that
/ would respectfully suggest to the managers
the eXpedency OF conveying the eXccutOners to
the scene of their dismal labors bv unireQuented
ways and in closely tilted carts next Whit
suntide.
The procession was composed of a series of
smaller professions, which had come to-
gether, each from its own metropolitan
district. An infusion of allegOry became per-
ceptible when patriotic Peckham advanced.
So | Judged, from the circumstance of Peck
hams unfurling a silken banner chat famed
heaven and earth with the words THE Peclham
Life Boat No boat being in attendance though
life in the likeness of "a gallant, gallant crew.
in nautical uniform followed the flag, | was led
to mediate on the fact that Peckham is de-
scribed by geographers as an inland settlement
with no larger or nearer shore line than the
towing-path OF the Surrey Canal, on which
stormy station / had been given to understand
no Lifc-BOat exists. Thus deducel an alicgori-
cal meaning, and came to the conclusion that il
patriotic Peckham picked peck Of picked
poetry, this lcdS the peck of picked poetry
which patriotic Peckham picked.
have observed that the aggregate procession
was on the whole pleasant TO see / made use
Of that qualified expression with direct mean.
ing. which will now explain. II involves the
title of this paper, and little fair trying O
teetotalism by its own tests.
There were many people on foot, and many
people in vehicles of various kinds. The former
were pleasant to see and the latter were no
pleasant to see; for the reason that | never, or
any occasion or under any circumstances, have
beheld heavier overlooking of horses than il
this public show. Unless the imposition
of n great van laden with from ten to twenty
people on a single horse be moderate
| tasking OF the poor creature, then the temperate
| MS nj horses m dora a nd