The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-09-07

He was correct The 'coi&el appeared
dragoon revolver in hi9 banS md Hes, He said
Slr, nave tn E6nor of addressing the
yhite-hlyered poiILS BON who edits this NANCY
You heygdt seated, sir--be careful of
toe cnai,, g'E y the legs is gone. believe
pave " pleasure Of addressing the blatant,
biack- earted scoundrel, Colonel Blatherskite
The same have little account to set
te| with you. If you are at leisure, we will
Begin"
II have an article on the Encouraging Pro-
gress of Moral and intellectual Development
in America to finish but there is no hurry.
Begin"
Both pistols rang out their fierce clamor at
the same instant. The chief lost a lock of
hair, and the Colonel's bullet ended its career
in the heshy part of my thigh The Colonels
left shoulder was clipped little. They fired
again. Both missed their men this time, but
| got my share, a shot in the arm. At the
third fire both gentlemen were wounded
slightly; and L had a knuckle Clipped. l
then said believed would go out and take
q walk, as this was private matter and [ had
a delicacy abont participating in it further.
But both gentlemen begged me to keep my
seat and assured me that was not in the way.
had thought differently, up to this time.
They then talked about the elections and
the crops a while, and fell to tieing up my
wounds. But presently they opened fire
again with animation, and every shot took
effect; but it is proper to remark that five
out of the six fell to my share. The sixth
one mortally wounded the Colonel, who re-
marked, with fine humor, that he would have
to say good morning now, as he had business
up town. He then inquired the way to the
undertaker's, and left. The chief turned to
me and said-
II am expecting company to dinner, and
shall have to get ready. 1t will be favor to
me if you will read proof and attend to the
customers"
l WINGED little at the idea of attending to
the customers, but was too bewildered by
the fusillade that was still ringing in my ears
to think of anything to say. He continued
'Jones will be here at 3. Cowhide him.
Gillespie will call earlier, perhaps-throw him
out of the window. Ferguson will be along
about kill him. That is all for to-day, L
believe. If you have any odd time, you may
write blistering article on the police-give
the Chief Inspector rats. The cowhides are
under the table; weapons in the drawer-am-
munition there in the corner lint and
bandages up there in the pigeon-holes. In
case of accident, go to Lancet, the surgeon,
down stairs He advertises-we take it out
in trade
He was gone 1 shuddered. At the end of
the next three hours 1 had been through
perils so awful that all peace of mind and all
cheerfulness had gone from me. Gillespie
had called, and thrown me out of the window.
Jones arrived promptly, and when L got
ready to do the cowhiding he took the job
off my hands. In an encounter with
stranger, not in the bill of fare, had lost
my scalp. Another stranger, by the name of
Thompson, left me mere wreck and ruin OF
chaotic rags. And at last, at bay in the cor
ner, and beset by an infuriated mob of edi-
tors, blacklegs, politicians, and desperadoes,
who raved and swore and t1ourished their
weapons about myhead till the air shimmered
with glancing flashes of steel, l was in the
act of resigning my berth on the paper, when
the chief arrived and with him rabble of
charmed and enthusiastic friends. Then en-
sued q scene of riot and carnage such as no
human pen, or steel one, either, could de-
scribe. People were shot, probed, dismem-
bered, blown up, thrown out of the window.
There was q brief tornado of murky bias
phemy, with a confused and frantic war
dance glimmering through it, and then all
was over. In five minutes there was silence,
and the CORY chief and [ sat alone and sur
veyed the sanguinary ruin that strewed the
floor around u.s. He said-
you'll like this place when you get used
to it.. l said:-
'I'll have to get you to excuse me. think
maybe might write to suit you after while,
as soon as had had some practice and learned
the language--I am confident could. But
to speak the plain truth, that sort of energy
of expression has its inconvenience, and a
man is liable to interruption. You see that
yourself. Vigorous writing is calculated to
elevate the public no doubt, but then dc
not like to attract 50 much attention as 1t
calls forth. l can't write with comfort when
/ am interrupted so much as / have been to-
| day. | like this berth well enough, but
don't like to be left here to wait on the
customers. The experiences are novel,
grant you, and entertaining, too, after {
fashion, but they are not judiciousl,
distributed. gentleman shoots at yor
through the window and cripples me; bomb
shell comes down the stove-pipe for you
qualification, and sends the stove door dowl
my throat; friend drops in to swap compli
ments with you, and freckles me with bulle
holes till my skin won't hold my principles
you go to dinner, and Jones comes with hi
cowhide, Gillespie throws me out of the win
dow, Thompson tears all my clothes off, an,
an entire stranger takes my scalp with tn
easy freedom of an old acquaintance; and il
less than five minutes all the blackguards il
the country arrive in their war paint and pro
ceed to scare the rest of me to death wit
their tomahawks. Take it altogether, neve
have had such a spirited time in all my life a
| have had to-day. No. like you, and
like your calm, unruffied way of explaining
things to the customers, but you see am no
used to it. The Southern heart is too impul
sive-Southen hospitality is too lavish wit
the stranger. The paragraphs which hav
| written to-day and into whose cold sentence