The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-10-06
Historical neutrality-suspicious.
Tell

There's are humbugs everywhere. Wheih-
er we seek them abroard. or look at home.
this truth is manifest; but 1t is particu-
larry remarkable what number OF them
still remain on the page Of history. Be
cause they are venerable and romantic,
people are afraid to expose them. But
truth must out, and We propose to have n
tilt at them all around, great and small.
Let US begin with William Tell. How
many centuries has that patriotic nonen-
tity been shooting at that eternal apple!
Dramatically treated by Schiller. be is in
teresting operaticaly, by Rosini, even
more so but as to facts the remark. Tell
est Ia rae" is anything but applicable to
this case since William Tell never had any
life at all, but WAS a myth. as pure-if not
as simple-as that other William immor-
talized by Madame Rachel.
The following facts, at least are now adj
mitteA BY all historians
l. Gessler was not o tyrannical Cover
nor.
3. There never was Governor of that
name.
3. Tells father-in-law was not maltrea-
ted.
4. He had no father-in-law.
5. The Swiss revolution was not led by
Tell.
6. Tell never existed at all.
If this is not enough, let US critically ex-
anime the well-known legend, and We shall
find that it will not stand the test.
William Tells father-in-law an aged
man. having incurred the resentment of
the Governor, was barbarously punished
by him. Tell resolved on revenge. Cess
sier. TO humiliaie the disafiected Swiss, or
dered the Dueal cap Of Austria TO be
placed on pole" Very unlikely that
a pole should be made Duke Of Austria.
What was the name of the Pole, and how
many of his descendants are living? He
commanded all who passed by to stop and
bow to it." How could they stop and bow
to it if they passed by! Tell was evident
" unable or unwilling to undertake the
difficult feat /; so lie was taken into custody,
and then "GeSsler tyrannlcally command
ed him to shoot an apple off his sons
head" Surely this was not very tyranni-
cal. 1t was an easy task to shoot an apple
off his head the difficulty was to shoot it
when il was on his sons head without ill.,
turing him. However, it is recorded that
William Tell performed the operation and
successfully cleft the apple TO the core"
Immediately There wasa General Shout"
What further proof have we Of the exis-
tence of an Austrian General of that name,
and what has he to do with the affair!
And Tell, to the satisfaction Of all,
was about to be set free, when Gessler
noticed that he had a second arrow con-
cealed in his belt. He asked what it was
for, and Tell replied, To send to thy
heart had | slain my child" This was
altogether so unnecessary and melodrama-
tic a reply, ard SO obviously intended
Though no pun is here) to produce Tell
ing and Arrow-ing effect, that we don't
think it really happened, much. The le-
gend then relates that William Tell, being
taken in boat to Gessler's seat of gov
eminent, a storm came on in the middle Of
the Lake of Zurich, and all the Governors
followers became reduced TO imbecility.
Tell. who was noted for q steersman as
well as for an archer 1.-THE mountaineers
of Switzerland were naturally perfect in
HdNlSallO0,l uuutTlOOh " steer tue NtS-
sci so he was unbound, and Immediately
seized the tiller." We imagine the only
sort of tillers the pastoral Tell knew much
about were tillers of the soil however,
"he guided the boat safely ashore. Land-
ing first. he leveled his bow and shot Ges-
sler to the heart" The legend thus con-
tradicts itself, for it elsewhere describes
the Governor as "a tyrant tchose heart
nothing could touch" "A revolt fol-
lowed the oppressors of the country were
driven out, and independence crowned the
efforts OF the patriots" Being republicans
it is doubtful whether they cared much
about having anything crowned in their
country. But we think enough has been
said to prove that William Tell is entitled
to first rank in historical humbug, and
make our readers. when they are bothered
about that mythical hero, scornfully ex-
claim, Don't tell me l.