Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-08-05
AnHaroas department.
JOINING THE MAS0NS.

knObbs has joined the MasOns, and here is
his experience in getting into a Lodge:
must tell you of the perils and trials had
to undergo to become a Mason. On the even
ing in question, presented myself at the door
Of the Lodge room, No. 1866, sign of the
skull and cross bones. [ was conducted to an
ante-room, where FIVE or six melancholy chaps,
in sashes and embroidered napkins, were wait
ing to receive me. On my entrance they all
got up and turned back somersaults and then
resumed their seats. A big fat fellow.who sat
in the middle, and who seemed to be the pro-
prietor, then said: Sinner from the other
world, advancew / advanced. "Will you
give up everything to join us?' 'Not if |
know it." said, 'there are my wife and four
teen fine =" Another party told me to say
''ves," as it was merely matter of form. So
said "Yes, give up everything"
The fellows in the towels then groaned and
said: cts we'll. Do you swear never to re-
veal anything you see or hear this evening to
any human being or to your wife,? | said,
'Pon my word, / will not" They then ex-
amined my teeth and felt my tongue, then
yroaned again. said, "Ifyou don't feel well,
| have got bottle here" The fat man here
took the bottle from me and told me to shut
up. He then, in a voice of thunder said,
Bring forth the goatv' Another fellow then
comes up with cloth to blind me. "No, you
don't, if you please. don't believe in play
ing blind mans buff with goat. III ride the
devil if you like, but I don't goit blind. Stand
back, or I'll knock you into smithereens."
They were too much for me, however, so had
to submit to being blindfolded. The goat was
then led in, and could hear him making an
awful racket among the furniture. I began
to feel that was urgently wanted at home,
but / was in for it and could not help myself
Three or four fellows then seized me, and
with ademoniacal laugh pitched me on the
look out for squalls. / have been in many
scrapes, Mr.. Editor; I've been pitched out ola
tour-story window; have gone down in
railway collision; but this little goat excur-
sion was ahead of them ALL The confounded
thing must be all wings and horns. 1t bump
ed me against chairs and tables, and the cell
ing, but hung on like Trojan. L turned
front summersaults and rolled over. Thought
it was over with me. was on the point of
giving up, when the bandage fell from nay
eyes, and the goat bounded through the VIM
dow with yell like a wild Indian giving up
the ghost. was in lodge Of Masons; they
were dancing war dance around big bull,
and playing leap-frog and turning hand
springs, and tlte- big fat fellow of the ante
room was standing on his head i'll the corner.
TAIL OF EMosHUN.-The mite wuz klare
without a fog, Sail Belts and I sat on log.
Her ize wuz kast upon the ski and her brest
did heave with many Sigh. Her hair wuz
az black az the blacklist cat and her lips,
Jerusalem, hold my hat! My arm waz round
her little waste, and | got READILY her lips to
taste; but whenever do q thing so chaste,
I never am in much Nv haste.
'Tis said when YOU kiss the NJ York girls,
with pretty blu ize, and hair that curls, they
ask YOU what you are about and give you a
slap right on the snout. The western girls
tina make no bother; If you kiss them on one
cheek, tha turn to you the other. But give
me a Virginia girl fur kissin-they beet awl
Others clean to nothing. Whenever you CIV
wun Nv EN- q smack tha pout up their lips
and kiss you back.
But tn my stori mi deerest reeder, don't
git weari for if du git off my track, I've
now with trouble found mi way back, and
my theem again I'll never loze az zure az this
IL poetry or prOZe.
1 pressed Sail Bets form tn mine, and
looked down in her ize, and az l took her
hand in mine I couldn't speak fur size.
Neerer, neerer, mi lips to hers did saeek !;
| felt her warm breth on mi cheek 1-give
her little hand assateeze, when ladng up
her head, she sef; "eTake kare, Shocks, till
I sneeze"
AN USsopHIsr1cATED CoNvERT-Ata IL re-
vival excitement in Connecticut, = respecta-
bic old lady was struck with conviction and
became a convert, and was proposed for men,
bership of the Church. There was q. meeting
held for the examination Of the candidates, Of
whom there wereseveralin attendance. "NclI,
my dear sis Rogers" said the venerable cX-
aminer, addressing our venerable friend,
'please relate your experience" The old
lady, on being thus addressed, lifted up her
voice. 'Well," said she, 81 don't know what
to say, as told my husband, Mr.. Rogers be-
fore came here; but believe have cxpe-
rienced change, as l told Mr.. Rogers, my
husband, after came home from meeting,
when l became convinced that was the most
sinful creature in the world us told my hus-
band, Mr.. Rogers. aud says he, I think 80
too Then I told Mr. Rogers, my husband,
was going to lead different life, was going
to trim my lamp, and have it burning agin
the bridegroom come. Then Mr.. Rogers, my
husband, said he didn't see what wanted of
another, but he didn't make no objection.
Then told Mr. Rogers, my husband, that |
would join the Church and prepare myself for
the place where the worm dieth not, and the
fire is not quenched; and my husband, Mr..
Rogers, told me I'd better"
ptay" \ young preacher carried three new
scholars into Sunday school, where they were
asked their names:
"What Is your name?
"Dan," replied the first one.
"Oh, no; your name is Daniel, say it now
Daniel"
eyes we'll Daniel, take your seat
"And what is your name?" WAS asked of
number two.
''San," said he
"Oh, dear, no; it is Samuel sit down Sam
ucl. And now let lis hear what your name is,
my bright little fellow" said he, turning to
the third.
With grin of <elt::>ati<tarlion, the Young
fellow replieds
"Jimuel, be jabers.'
Rzs~ The McConnellsvillc (Ohio) Herald re-
lates the following court scene: cat the last
term of our Court Of Common Pleas, III the