The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1869-09-03
The True Version Of the" Lady Of Lyons. 4"
BY MARK TWAIN.

Lyons has always been associated in my
mind with the sentimental lady to whom
Bulwer introduced us many years ago.
| looked for her all along the Rhine, and
could not discover her. When / had de-
SPARED of getting at the facts in the case, I
heard ola man who knew them. Having
long entertained a suspicion that the story
had not been rightly told, I solicited an
interview. contrary to my custom, and
had the tale from his lips. He said Pau
line was not interesting nor romantic. He
thanked me for the interest / had shown
in the sentimental history, and favored me
with these prosaic details:
Claude Melnotte was in truth q garden
er's son, who fell in love with Pauline
while she was buying radishes of him one
morning when her father, having been
drunk the night before, refused to purchase
the household necessaries, as was his GUS
tom. Claude was rather susceptible,
and sold her the radishes at half price, on
account of her pretty face, as he said, which
pleased her, and so delighted her practi-
cal parent, when he heard it, that he insist
ed on her going to market every morning.
She did not like to do it; but papa being
obdurate, she obeyed. Claude finally be-
came so interested that he gave her radish-
es for nothing, and even went so far as
to purchase mutton and corn-beef presen-
ting them in the name of love.
Her mercantile papa was in ecstacies
with Claude, declaring him q very gener-
Gus person, who ought to be encouraged.
He demanded that Pauline should take
everything that was given gratis. Pau
I'm no IL Co.,
the family, and at last Claude told her
that he would like to marry her if the old
gentlemen would come down handsomely.
She felt affronted, and informed the elder
Deschappelles, who, living only in money,
inquired into Claude's circumstances, and
found that he had not returned any revenue
to the assessor for several years. He then
called on the sentimental youth and threat
ened to take away his license.
Claude got mad and brought suit for the
things he had given Pauline. He failed to
get judgment, and, resolving on revenge,
induced one ofDeschappelles's clerks, who
had been refused by his lady, to introduce
him as wealthy chap that cared no more
for thousand dollars than A. T. Stewart
for ten cents.
Old Deschappelles was taken in and so
was Pauline; for Claude dyed his whisk-
ers and put on new wig to WOO her in.
She did not care how lie looked or talked;
for the old man having gotten hard up,
couldn't pay her bills, and she was bound
to have wealthy husband. When Claude
proposed she asked him to make out a
statement of his effects, and having sworn
that he owned ten corner lots in Lyons,
she accepted him. and her father ratified
the contract.
They were married at once. but after the
ceremony Deschappelles discovered the
trick and put his new son-in-law out of
the house, receiving black eye in his
laudable labor Claude would h ave
have been sent to prison for his scoundrel-
ism, but he otferd to go into the army, and
thus escaped punishment. He didn't
fight very well, but played an excellent
game of dlaw-poker, and in two years
made money enough to get out of the SER
vice. He then returned to Lyons and of
fered to live with Pauline. The old man
said he would consider his case that two
more men had proposed in his absence,
and that the chap who had the most mon
ey should take the girl.
Claude fell short by several thousand
dollars, and was in consequence ordered to
keep out of the way.
Pauline married one of the other fellows
(the report that she went to Chicago to
get divorce is without foundation) and
| Claude took to cognac so enthusiastically
that he fell off one of the Rhine Bridges
on certain night, and the coroners after
ward made twenty five dollars by holding
an inquest on his body.
Pauline was happy, as women usually
are, in her second marriage, for her hus-
band paid all her bills without grumbling.
She had several children, grew fat and
frowsy, and died at last of chronic and
combined attack of beer and dropsy.
Claude never knew line of poetry in his
life, and couldn't have told the difference
between the Lake of Como and Dutch
canal. "Dost thou like the picture ?"