Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1869-07-01
An Unpleasant Situation.


John Smith-you've heard Of him
is very bashful /; is too bashful In truth.
He was born and raised in the country.
His father gave him good education
and allows him plenty of money. But
John, with all other attainments, never
could accustom himself to female soci-
ETY., not because he did not like the
girls. but because his nature would
not permit him to associate with the
fair sex. II once happened. not very
long ago either. that Johns father had
some very important business to
transact in the city. He also had
some very particular business to at
tend 10 ut home, which demanded his
personal attention, and not possessing
the power of uhiquity, he delegated his
son John To transact I at in the city
John being thus commissioned, inn
mediately proceeded to the city and to
the residence of his fathers OLD friend.
whom he found Ia be very nice old
gentleman, with beautiful daughter
and gold spectacles.
John was ushered into the parlor. "a
new thing for him) and motioned to a
seat-no, a sofa (another new thing.)
But We must use his own language
! took my seat and made observations.
Everything was fine Fine carpets.
fine sofas, fine tables. fine curtains. fine
books. fine pianos, fine everything, and
especially fine young lady who was
"a. 4 -, ,,I y ~
had fine curls, and fine appearance
generally. After chatting with the old
gentleman Il few minutes. he took down
his hat, told me To make myself at
home for AN hour or two, and lcft-left
me alone with his daughter and small
mischievous boy, the young lady's
brother. didn't relish the situation
st all. The idea of keeping a city
belle engaged in conversation for two
hours-perdition Silence rcigned in
the parlor for n short time YOU bet. |
amused myself as much as possible
knife ami watch KEY, and watched him
cut holes in the carpet with one, AMI
spoil the other. | don't know what
should have done had it not been for
that boy-he was 80 good to attract
ones attention, you know.
Ii is true be asked some startling
questions occasionally, such a. this,
Tor instance "Arc Won goin' 10 court
sister Emily" but such things must
be expected under such circumstan-
ces.
Miss Emily. thinking, no doubt, that
to be good hostess she must engage
her guests in conversation. asked me
''how | liked country life. &c. She
sali it must he beautiful sight To 81
the laborers, male and female. romp-
ing on the new mown hay on New
Tears day tnat she always did think
she would like to spend Christmas in
the country nut-gathering with the /
village lads and laSscs that il had al /
ways been "a mystery To her how they
got eggs Off the trees without breaking
them
In return, thought, to keep up my |
part Of the conversation. il was nee
essary for me to quote poetry and the
like. which did. Among other quota /
tons. unfortunately repeated the I
well-known lines Of Shakespeare:
There DIV unity that -h-pes "nr ends !
Ruugn hrw them aow We vii
At this jnncture the boy, rho had .
perched himself upon my knee looked 7
very earnestly and said:
Divinity shaped the end Of Your |
nose mighty Gurus.
I'm certain that | wished somebody /
would spank the young rascal We
talked of hills, mountains. wales, cata- |
racts-I believe said waterfalls. when
the boy spoke up and said: I
why sisters got trunk full of em
up stairs ; pap says they are made out
Of hoss hair.
This revelation struck terror into I
me and bushes into the cheek of my
fair companion.
1t began 10 be very apparent to me
that | mnst be very guarded in what |
| said. lest said boy might slip in his
remarks at uncalled for places ; in fact !
| turned my conversation 10 him. | |
told him he ought 10 20 home with me,
and see what nice chickens we had in /
the country. Uninckily / mentioned
woke Of calves my brothers owned. =
The word calves ruined all. The little |
fellow looked up and said:
Sisters got dozer of 'em, but she |
don't wear 'em only when she goes up |
in town o windy days.
Leave the room. you nnmannerlv |
little wretch !" exclaimed Emily. |
leave Immediately
Il know what you want to have me
leave for, > replied he '.you can't fool
me-you want to set in that mans lap
and kiss him like You did Bill Simmons
the other day-you can't fool Inc, I'll
jes' tell you. Gimme some candy like
he did, then I'll go. You think be-
cause you've got the Grccian that you're
smart. Guess know think or two
am mad at you, anyhow. cause pap
would bought me top yesterday, if
it hadn't been for your getting them
curis, doggon yer! You needn't turn
so red in the face, cause 1 can't see
the paint. There amt no use in wink
ing at me with that glass eye O yourn,
cause amt going oatn here, now
that's what's the matter with the purps.
l don't care il you are twenty EIGHT
years old, you amt no boss OF mine,
yon old fool.