The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-03-10
THE YANKEE CoRNERED.
, the Editor oftha InfellIoence!:


smoke twirling in ring above his
head.
Matter enough: l don't see how
anybody can be contented to live here.
1 wish I'd sold out my whole farm to
the Colonelv
what would have become of that
twenty per cent you were going to make
more than the Colonel?' put in the
Captain, with rOgUish twinkle that
showed itself a centre shot to the Yam
kee, who jerked out in reply
THE twenty per cent may go to the
dogs. 1t costs too much to get 1t. The
land is all up on edge. The rocks are
thicker than blackberries, and the
black berries are so thick that one can't
raise anything else. One has to go TO
mill with peck of corn at a time on
horseback. And the mud Is so deep
half the year that he has to get a stump
puller to pull his horses legs out OF the
mud. And, worst of all, the people are
so determined not to make any pro-
gress that they actually go backwards.
They're bad as the New York Dutch,
who used to go horseback to mill with
n big stone in one end of the bag to bal
unce the grist in the other; and when
some one tried to show them how to
carry the grist in each end, they were so
contrary and unwilling to learn, that
they left out the corn altogether, and
put rock in each end
The reference to the twenty per cent.
little perplexed the Colonel, who was
present, but the Yankees apparent
backing down rather pleased him. But
as he ratified on with his catalogue of
indictments against the county, the
Colonel looked bewildered, and directly
amazed, and at length stared at him in
mute astOnishment. The Captain came
| TO his relief. interrupting the Yankee
Hold on! You're getting up altO-
gether too many subjects at time. We
| Virginians can't think of 80 many
things al once. Take a chair. Maybe
you'd better smoke a stoSie and quiet
your nerves little, anu then take one
| thing at a time
| THANK YOU for the chair said the
Yankee; but never mind the cigar. l
was littfe excited. But it would be a
good thing for you Virginians to get a
little excited now and then. An ounce
| or two of thunder and lightning would
be the best medicine you ever took, nc-
cording to my notion OF things
| The Colonel shook his head, and said !:
Il don't know about all this flying
| about, and so many new tangled no.
tions. And, rs for the country, 1 think
you'll go a long ways before you'll find
Il better one. / should like to see any
body that does better than do. My
! farm is little billy, to be sure, and
some OF 1t is rather foul, and some of 1t,
too, don't do as we'll as it used to. But
get good living from the farming,
and make right smart spec from my
| cattle BESIDES
| We'll now said the Captain, Sup
pose we see what the Colonel does make
| from his farm, and then we can tell
how much you will make with your
| twenty per cent MORE
| This second reference to the twenty
per cent, nettled the yankee, and excl
| led n new perplexed curiosity in the
mind of the Colonel.
Colonel continued. tho Captain, how
| large is your farmY
Two hundred acres
And how much is it worth
| tWell,I shouldn't like to take less
than twenty-five dollars an acre. with
Il sly glance at the Yankee, from whom
he had bought the twenty-h five acres for
twenty dollars per acre.
That is five thousand dollars, and at
six per cent. the interest on 1t would be
three hundred dollars per annum. Now
your and your family's work ought to
support the family, and little more,
for rainy day.
We'll, I guess we do support our
selves. There's not n child that ever
way; and Sally and I were never be-
hind hand with the world
We'll, do your farm products pay
! your store and grocery DIlls, without
taking any of the prOtitfrOm the cattle7'
inquired the Captain.
Don't they, though! Why, Sally and
the daughters spin and weave nearly
all the cloth l and the boys and they
too, wear; and then they make right
| smart chance of butter; that mOre'n
pays for the calico and sugar. And
| then there is the eggs, and the chick
| ems, and the turkeys, that pays for all
| the rest of the store fiXins ace use. Why,
|
store yet, and l never took cent for
that from the CATTLE
VERY well. Now how do you pay
| the interest on the five thousand dol
lars?'
At this the Colonel looked little be-
wildered. He didn't quite see into the
payment OF interest on his own farm.
But he replied
Il don't know about paying interest
on my own money. But l do know
that sold two as fine colts as you ever
haltered for one hundred and twenty
five dollars each; and l sold u yoke OF
steers Tor hundred, and half OF the
beef from the Two old COWS that beefed
for thirty dollars. and three hundred
weight of pork for thirty more, and
| twenty nice sheep for forty more. AND
then there was five tons OF hay ior nifty
dollars besides.'
That makes five hundred dollars,
two hundred dollars. Now how much
did you make on your cattle?'
You see / had thirty head, and l
cleared lust twenty. three dollars head,
on an average. How much is that|
six hundred and ninety dollars,
which added to the previous five hun
dred, foots up eleven hundred and
ninety dollars. from his five thousand
dollar farm. Now, continued the Cap
tain, but addressing the Yankee. for
convenieuce's sake, and to make up for
omissions, we will call it an even thOus-
and dollars; and. this is twenty per
cent. on the investment. VIII not that
do, passably wellY And then if you
can make twenty per cent. more on the
purchase money of the twenty-five
acres, adding another hundred dollars,
where will you do betterY
During this estimation, the Yankee
! had Eensibly cooled off number OF de-
grees; and, seeing the point. had the
good sense tacitly to own the corn, eX-
| claiming
Well. do declare. Cap'n., you are
e'enamost as cute as II Yankee himself.
It's plain to see you've got your eye
teeth cut. You've been ont somewhere
and seen folks; and l guess you've
been quietly showing the Colonel and
the folks around here thing or two.
You don't all do as well as that though,
by a long shot. But guess, upon the
whole, won't sell out, Just yet. But
I'll make that twenty per cent, see if
1 don't y
And so, after n few words with the
ladies, and sundry prOmises-that 1
don't know as we really meant to keep
to bring our better halves along next
time, and also little pAtting of the