Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1869-09-03

Sut Lovengooa's Shirt

| ~ 80 SoSs
third out on me cussin, and Ishe, that's Bets,
takes out tother two.thirds with her battlin
stick, and the interest with her tongue, and.
the interests more'n the prinoiple-ahe heap
moro. She is the oussedest woman I ever
seed anyhow for %jaw--and pride. She can
scold a blister ontor a bulls face right on the
curl in two minutes-and pattern after eyery
fashion she hears tell on from bussels to
britohes. Oil she's one one 'em, and some.
times two OF. three.
Well, you SEQ, I got some cotton truck to,
make q new shirt outen, and coaxed Bets to
make it, and about the time it was done here
comes lawyer johnson along and axod for
breakfast-I wish it had pizened him, durn
his HIDE, and I wonder it didn't for she cooks
awful mixens when she tries. Tn pizcn
proof myself, (%holding up his flag and peep.
ing through IT'D or I'd been dead long ago.
Well, while we were eatin,' she spied out
that his shirt was stiff and mighty slick SO
she never rested till she worried it outen him
that q preparation Of aour didit, and ahe got
q few particulars about the proceedings outer
him, and act in and billed o big pot Of paste
nigh onto a peck Of it-spd soused in my.
shirt and let it soak awhile; then she tuck it
and ironed it out fiat and dry, and sot it up
on its edge agin the cabin in tho sun. Thar
it stood as stiff as o dry boss hide, and it rat
tied like q sheet of 'front.' did. It we're
pasted together all over. When I como to
dinner nothing would do but I must put it on.
Vol Bets and me got tho thing open after
some hard work, she pullin' at one of the
tails and me At tother, aud I got into it,
Durn the informal new tangled shirt, I say.
l felt like l had orawled into q bee gum and
1t full Of ants; but it war like lawyer John.
sons, aud / stood it like q man, and went to
work to build Bets an ash hopper. worked
powerful hard, and sweat like q boss, and
whensthe shirt got wet it quit its hurtin'.
Artur | got dun I took about four fingers
Of red eye and orawled up into the oabiu to
take q snooze.
Well when I walked up I thought I was
dead or had the cholera, for all the iints l
could move war my ankle wrist and knees
could not even move my head or skasly wink
my eye-the cussed shirt was pasted fast onto
me all over, from the ends Of the tail to the
pints OF the broadaxe collar over my ears.-
1t sot to no as CLOSE as a hide to a poor COW
in March. / strained and squirmed till I
sorter got it broke at the shoulders and elbors,
and then dun the durndest foolishest thing
ever dun in these mountains. Ishufed my
pants off and tore loose from my hide about
two inches of the tail all around in much
pain and tribulation. Oh but it did hurt
Then I tuck up a plank inter the loft and
hung my logs down through the hole and
nailed the edge Of the front tail to the floor
before me, and the hind tail to the plank l sot
on. l unbuttoncd the collar and wristbands,
raised my eyes, said grace and then jumped
to the ground floor.
Here Sut remarked sadly:
"George, I'm a darnder fool than ever dad
was, boss, hornets and all. III drown my.
self some of these days, see if I don't"
"Well, 80 on, Sut; did the shirt come
off {"
"I Think it d.i.di 1 hcarn q noise sor-
ter like tearing q shingle roof off Nv a house
stl at wonst, and felt like my bones were all
that reached the floor. I staggered to my
feet, and tnok a look at my shirt. The nails
had hilt their holt, and thar it was hangin,'
arms down, inside ont, as stiff as ever. It
locked like the Map of Mexico just arter ono
OF the FIRST battles-a patch of hide, lust
about tho size Of a dollar and a half bill here;
a bunch of har about the size of a bird thar /;
then ZONE moro har then skin and so on
all over chat darncd tangled overlastin' infer.
nal ouss OF a shirt. II was a picture to look
st-so was /. The hide, har and paste were
about equally divided between me and it.
Wonder what Bcts-darn hor-thot when
she come home and found mo missin'. Spcct
sho thinks I orawled into q thickot an died
OF ny wounds. IT must have scared her
good, for [ tell you it looked like tho skin of
q wild beast torn of alive, or a bag that had
covered a load of fresh bcof home from .
shootin' match"
Durn lawyer johnson and his slick shirt.
---~~s <e~~
SEVEN PrNEs.-Two hundred years ago
or more, q party from jamestown enoamped
among the bushes, about six miles from urea.
ont site of Richmond, and during tho night
they Wero invited IN n Uoorn.don,o L..