Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-09-17
HOW smith Asked the
Old Man.

Smith had just asked Mr.. Thomp'
sons daughter If she would give him
lift out of bachelordom, and she had
said "yes."
IT therefore became absolute neces'
. sary to get the old gentleman's per-
mission, so rs Smith said, the ar
rnnpements might he made to hop
the coniugal twig.
Smith said he'd rather pop the in
terrogatory to all of old Thompson's
daughters, and his sisters, and his
lady cousins, and his aunt Hannah
i'm the country, and the whole of his
female relations, thanask old Thomp-
son. But it had to be done, and so
he sat down and studied out speech
which he was to disgorge at old
Thompson the very first time he got
q shy chance at him. So Smith drop
ped i'm on him one Sunday evening,
when all the family had meandered
around to meeting. and found him
doing a sum i'm beer measure.
"How are you, Smith," said old
Thompson, as the former walked in,
white as n piece of chalk, trembling
ne if he had swallowed condensed
earthquake. Smith was afraid to
answer, cause he want sure about
that speech. He knew he had to
keep grip on it while he had it there,
or it would slip from him quicker
than an oiled eel through an auger
hole. So he blurted out
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it
may not be unknown to you, that
during an extended period of some
five years, / have been busily EN-
gagged in the prosecution of a COM
mercial enterprise
ais that so, and keepin' it secret
all this time, while | thought you
were tendin' store? Well by George,
you're one of them now, amt you"
Smith had begun to think it all
over, to get the run of it.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it
may not be unknown to you, that
during the extended period of five
years, | have been busily engaged in
the prosecution of commercial en-
terprise, with the determination to
secure a sufficient maintenance"
"Sit down, Smith, and help your
self to beer. Don't be standing there
holdin' your hat, like blind beggar
with the paralysis. / never have
seen you, behave yourself so queer in
all my born days"
Smith had been knocked out again,
and SO he had to wander back again
and take fresh start.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: 1t may not
be unknown to you, that during an
extended period of iivesyears, | have
been busily engaged in the prosecu-
ton of a commercial enterprise, with
the determination to procure suffi-
cient maintenance"
A which ance ?" asked old
Thompson but Smith held on to the
last word as if it was his only chance,
and went on:
"In the hope that some day I
might enter wedlock, and bestow my
earthly possessions upon one whom
l could call my own. have been a
lonely man, sir, and have felt that it
is not good for man to be alone:
therefore would"
Neither is it Smith; I'm glad
you dropped in. How's the old
man?"
"Mr. Thompson, SIR" said Smith,
in despairing confusion, raising his
voice TO yell, ait may not be UNI
known to you that, during an ex-
tended period of lonely man, / have
been engaged to enter wedlock, and
bestowed all my enterprise on one
whom 1 could determine to be good
for certain possessions-no, mean
that is-that-Mr. Thompson, sir; it .
may not be unknown"
/" And then again, it may. Look |
here, Smith; you'd better lay down
and take something warm-you amt
we'll"
Smith, sweating like q four year
old colt, went in again.
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not
be lonely to you to prosecute me
whom you friend, for commercial
maintenance, notwithstanding it
Mr.. Thompson, sir: It"
"Oh, Smith, you talk like fool.
/ never seen such a first>class idiot in
the course of my whole life. What's
the matter with you, anyhow ?"
" Mr.. Thompson, SIR" said Smith,
in all agony of bewilderment, cit
may not be known that you prose-
cuted lonely man who is not good
for commercial period of wedlock
for some five years. but"
"See here, Mr.. Smith, you're
drunk, and if.you can't behave bet
ter than, that, you'd better leave; if
you don't, I'll chuck you out, or I'm
q Dutchman."
" Mr.. Thompson. SIR" said Smith,
frantic with despair, it may not be
to you that my earthly
are engaged to enter we'd
ock five years with q sufficiently
onely man, who is not good for
maintenance"
1.-THE. very deuce he isn't. Now
you jist git up and git, or I'll knock
what little brains you've got left, out
If you
With that, old Thompson took
smith and shot him into the street
.s If he'd run him against a locomo- !
i've, going out at the rate of forty !
miles an hour. Before old Thomp-
son had time to shut the front door. !
smith collected his legs and one
hing and another that were lying
around on the pavement, arranged
himself in a vertical position, ana
yelled out:
MIR. Thompson, sir: 1t may not
DC unknown to you'-which made
The Old man so wretched mad that he
went out and set a bull terrier on
smith before he had chance to lift
orogan, and there was a scientific
log fight, with odds i'm favor of the