Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-12-10

"Lenny, you're a pig" said a
father to his little five-year old boy.
s'Now, do you know what a pig is,
Lenny ?" eyes, sir, a pigs hogs
little boy"
A Pennsylvania paper says "Any
person wishing to take this paper
can do SO by bringing US potatoes,
apples, butter, or anything to keep
US from starving to DEATH"
John Onion is the suggestive
name of an Illinois editor. When
he peels himself and gets down
heartily to his work, he must bring
water to the eyes of his readers.
What is that which a man does
not want and struggles against hav-
ing as long as possible, but when
he once gets it he would not part
with it for all the world? A bald
head.
An editor, describing a church
in Minnesota, says: ''No velvet
cushions in our pews; we don't go
in for style. The fattest person has
the softest seat, and takes it out
with him at the close of the ser
, vices"
Two negroes playing billiards in
Detroit quarreled. One hit the
other a tremendous blow over the
head with the butt-end of cue, the
splinters flew, and the assailed dar-
key paused to remark: Now, Sam,
stop, and less reason dis yere thing
q little
The editor Of an Iowa paper
called on his Chinese washerman
and tried to coax him into taking
hold of his undergarments. The
rejoinder of John was: s.Printee
man dirty shirt was like ID; no
get cleanee; scrubee skin off hands 4;
nkee de ID to clean off. No want
idashee for printee; chargee two
wollar dozen cuss 'em."
A clergyman went to a hotel to
order a dinner for a number of
clerical friends. "May ask, SIR"
demanded the waiter gravely,
"whether the party is High Church
OF Low Church ?'' "Now, what on
earth" cried the clergymen, "do my
friends opinions matter to you ?''
GA great deal, SIR" replied the wait
er, off High High Church, I must
provide more wine, if Low Church,
more wittles."
TO GOD IN HEAVEN.
The Washington Star Of Monday
says: The following letter, evident
ly genuine-written by a child
was received at the city Postoffice
last evening:
WASHINGTON, D. c., 80.
"7o God, acho lives IN Heacen:
DEAR GoD: o, how I wish
could see you and tell you what
want, l want some new shoes and
some clothes to wear to sunday
school wont you by me some, and
new dress for mamma and a new
for the baby. Good by.
GA LITTLE BEGGAR BOY TOMMY"
Bookkeeping taught in one les
son-Don't lend them.
WHAT WILL THE Poor DO ?-As
the rough and surly winter ap-
proaches, during which some of our
poor cannot possibly do anything
to gain a livelihood, the question
becomes to them fearfully vital.
We have all experienced the pres,
sure Of financial mismanagement in
the midst of Gods smiling benefi-
cence, dispensing bread with a mu-
nificent hand and how much har-
der will this be when the earth is
covered with snow and the only
hum Of activity is that Of Old
Boreas. Those who now can scarce
ly obtain sufficient bread to satisfy
the eager mouths at the humble
board, what will they do? Those
who now can barely keep life flick
ering dimly within shiyering, half
nude tenement, what will they do
Winter will come--no flowers, no
fruits, no charity, no anything but
bitter cold-idly mocking, istless
world! Oh! then what will the
needy do?