Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1869-06-29
MISCELLANEOUS.
An Effective Lesson.

The following narrative of a practical Joke
is told by Grace Greenwood, of certain
Doctor Elliot, q noted character, Of noted
old Connecticut town.
Late one dark night, being summoned to
patient in a neighboring parish, DR.. Elliot
went for his horse to his barn, which was some
distance from the parsonage. Just as he was
about to enter, he heard some one coming out,
and Immediately concealed himself behind
large bush in the lane, hiding his lantern
under his cloak. Presently the large barn>
door swung open, and man appeared, bending
beneath an immense load of hay bound to-
gether by a'rope. Through loops of this rope
he had thrust his arms, and he carried the
huge mass like pedler's pack.
The Doctor suffered this thieving Atlas to
pass him then, taking the candle from his
lantern, he crept softly forward and set fire to
the hay, then again concealed himself. In
moment, that moving haycock was one great,
cracking blaze, and the thief, with>wld cries,
was frantically finging it from his head and
back. He succeeded in extrcating himself
without help, aud then ran as though p4rsued
by iends across the snowy fields.
Some months after this there came to the
Doctors study pale, thin, melancholy. look
ing man who, after much painful hesitation,
expressed desire to make a confession of sin.
With a serious and sympathetic manner, yet
with, suspect, sly twinkle in his eye, the
miEister set himself to listen.
awe had dreadful load on my conscience,
Doctor, for cOnsid'ble spell and it does
seem as ef'twould kill me. I'm cen most dead
now"
"'Ah! is it possible? What can you have
done You are a respectable man and
church member" replied the Doctor, in seems
ing surprise.
''Yes, jined the church thirty years ago."
replied the old farmer; then sinking his voice
to an awsome confidential tone, he continued
'But I'm dreadful sinner, for all that, Doc
tor: and, ben' church member, my sin, you
see, was of too much account to be winked at,
and judgment followered close arter it. o
dear, O"
"Pray tell me your trouble, brother"
"Well, Doctor, it consarns you"
"Indeed p
s'Yes. One time last winter, got leetle
short of fodder, and [ thought to myself as
how you had more n enough for your critters
and SO one night the Degil tempted me to go
over to your barn, and tu-O dear, Or
"To help yourself to little of my surplus
hay; eh ?"
L CoS DOStOIt jos SO DuG never SOl
home with that are hay. The Lord wouldn't
let me du it. L had load on my back, and
was carryin' it away when all at once it burst
into blaze about my earsr'
"Struck by lightning ?"
'sNo, Doctor, it was clear night. I've
jest made up my mind that fire dropped down
from Heaven and kinded that are hay
Twas a judgment an a warnn', an I'm
afeared sort of forerunner of the flames of
hell. 1 haint had no peace of mind sence,
nor felt like eatin' good meal of vittas. At
last thought [ might feel leete better eff
I'd jest own up to you, and ask yo1r pardon
an your prayers"
To the astonishment of the poor penitent,
the minister laughed out right merrily. Then
he said: "Be comforted, neighbor your little
thievinG operation was hardly of such con-
sequence to HeaEen as all that 1t was who
caught you at it, and set fire to the hay from
my lantern; and must say ycu yelled Justify
and raa briskly, for man of your years.
Why didn't you tell me if you wanted hay
Now go home in peace, get vel, aad steal no
more
"You, Doctor? You? Be you sartin sure
you sot fire to that are bundle of hay 2"
'Yes, quite sure; that was my own little
bonfire. 1 hope it didn't scorch you much
noticed, when you came to meeting the next
Sunday, that your hair was little singed.-
As for the flames of hell, neighbor that's your
own lookout. trust there is time to escape
them yet"
So, so! twas you did it all +! 'The Lord
be praised t' exclaimed the farmer, fervently.
"It rally is an amazin relief, an my cid woman
was right; for she says: $50 to the minister
an confess, says she, an thatIl lift the biggest
half of the sin off your conscience, an be be.-
ter than doctor stuff, says she. An so you
did it |! Well, folks say you're master man
for joke; but this ere one was more solemn
than sermon to me, an more effectooal, Doc.
tor, do believe"
So saying, the farmer departed in peace
and the parson kept the secret of his name,
even in his sown family, always, 1 think
Can man who weighs twelve dozen
pounds be called gross man If SO, how
much should grocer weigh? -.