The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1869-03-11
Johnston In Europe.

John r. Johnston, the artist who has
recently returned from trip across the
water was not remarkably impressed by
the antiquities of the old world. In fact
he is inclined to believe that there is a
humbug about them. We will let him
sum up Europe, Asia and Africa in his
| own words:
Went to Alexandria-cro por-
ton of the great desert on a camel S
back-easier for rich man to go through
the eye of needle than for a camel to
! paint portraits-desert no great shakes
get better dessert at an American hotel
dinner-throw sand in your eyes on the
desert-make you think it is big thing
Went to Damascus-bought Damascus
blade-humbug blade made Akron Ohio
Went Jerusalem-hired a guide for
his boara-a regular guide-bodrd-ne
was SO much bored in all my iife-Jeru-
salem full of second hand Clothing
stores-bought fragment of Salamons
Temple sold every year to build Cincin-
natti. Visited the Nile-humbug-
water privileges don't wonder no one
knows the source of the Nile-greatest
wonder that any one cares swhere they
are-Llcklng river beats the Nile. Saw
the mumies, made in London, every one
of them made bya Massachusetts Yankee
and sent to Egypt.
Looked at the pyramids recollected
that Napoleon said to his soldiers From
the top of yonder pyramids forty centu-
ries are looking down upon you No
such thing; went up there and inquired !;
forty centuries hadn't been up there at
all. Saw the sphynx-capital likeness
of Ben Butler Went to Italy bought a
monkey and hand-organ, and learned to
speak italian two hours monkey died
and hand organ exploded -hayn't been
able to speak italian since.
Saw GarabaIdi at Naples. He wept
half dollar from me and said he wanted
to come to America and be the second
old George Washington.
He is coming to Cincinnati next
summer to start 2 lager-beer saloon, as
headquarters for distinguished organ
grinders. bought palace in Vienna
aud am to pay for it in Confederate scrip.
Crossed over the bridge of Sighs-no
size at ALL saw where the Dodge OF
Venice married the Adriatic. There
hdS lllcTe Hullc dSO lie uOt
only married the Adriatic but all the
streams in the neighborhood Saw
where Canova's heart was buried
when Canova died his body was cut up
and buried all over Europe. Ali the big
cities wanted a piece of him. They do it
different now. If an artist gets great
eputation-like myself for instance
they cut HIM up In the newspapers.
Saw the ruins of Greece = deprecated
oil stock mostly. Saw the old masters
yiilainous daubs One of those old
masters couldn't get situation at house
painting if he were alive to-day. Went.
to Rome; dined by Buchanan Reed and
Randolph Rogers. Inquired for Julius
Caesar, but he wasn't in, that day-gone
to turkey shoot on Isle of Crete-don't
60 much on the ile Saw Herculaneum
all humbug-the ashes that buried it
didn't come from Vesuvius-drawn on
the carts, All speculation to sell relics
saw the Hellespont = waded across it.
Leander drowned himself a purpose, just
to make Hero of himself. Went and
looked at the Rhine = muddy little
dike-castles look like stone smoke hous-
es-went across it-rather go "across
the canal" Saw eruption Of Mount
Vesuvius-country fireworks On Fourth
of July beat 1t at any time. Tell you
Europe is humbug. Nothing in it. -
Cincinnati Times