davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

WARNING TO Young MEN.-Charles Lamb
told his sad experience, as a warming to
young men, in the following language:
''The waters have gone over me. But out
of the black depths, could 1 be heard, l
would cry out to all those who have set q
foot in the perilous food. Could the youth
to whom the flavor of the first wine is as
delicious as the opening scenes OF life or
the entering upon some newly discovered
paradise, look into my desolation, and be
made to understand how dreary it is when
he shall feel himself going down precipice
with open eyes and passive will to his des-
truction and have no human power to stop
it, and yet feel it all the way emanating
from himself; to see all godhness emptled
out of him, and yet not able to forget a
time when it was otherwise; to bear the
piteous spectacle of his own ruin could
he see my fevered eye, fevered with last
nights drinking, and feverishly looking
for to nights repeating of the folly could
he but feel the body of death outof which
cry hourly with feebler outcry to be de-
livered, it were enough to make him dash
the sparkling beverage to the earth, in al
the pride of its mantling temptation"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

JOSH BILLINGS ON LAFFIN is
strictly an amusement, altho som folks
make Dizziness of it.
1t has been considered an index of char
akter, and there is som so close at reason
ing that they can tell what man had for
dinner bi seeing him laff
never saw two laff alike.
While there are sum who don't make en-
ny noise, there are sum who don't make
anything but noise-and sum agin who
have music in their laff, and others who
laff just as rat does who has caught a
steel trap with his tail.
There is mistake in the assershuns that
it is no comfort to hear sum laffs that come
romping out of q mans mouth like dis
trict skool of young girls just let out few
play. ..
Men who never laff may have good hearts
but they are deepseated-ike some springs
they have their inlet and outlet from below
and show no sparkling buble on the brim.
don't like a giggler his kind of laff is
like dandylon, broad peller with not
bit of good smell about it.
1t is true that emmy kind of laff, if it is
honest, is better than none, but give me
the laff that looks out Of mans eye, fust
to see if the coast is clear, then steals down
into the dimple Of his cheek and in eddy
thar awile, then waltzes spell at the cor
ner of his mouth like thing of life, then
bursts its bonds ov beauy, and fills the air
for O moment with shower ov slver-ton-
tongued sparks, then steals'back with
smile tew lay in the heart tew watch again
for its prey-that is a kind OF IL latf luV
and amt Altered oy.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
O. 7, M35

think read as follows ''Be ye holy for
am holy" The discourse was a splendid
one. in which his talents shone with all
their brightness. He concluded by exhort-
ing his hearers to taAe him as an example,
and follow him as he followed Christ
When the services were concluded, he
descended from the pulpit to receive the
farewells of his congregation. The ladies
gathered round him to receive the parting
kiss. At last he started towards the door,
"Now's your time, Harry" whispered
Charley Ross, as Newton neared me.
I stepped up to the pious robber, and
grasping his arm, cried out:
ssMr. Newton, in the name of the com
monwealth of New York, l arrest you.
what for ?'' he stammered out.
"For the Bond street robberies.
He turned pale as death, and many OF the
women tainted. His hand moved towards
his coat pocket, but it did not reach it.
"Ouick, Charley the bracelets !" I cried.
The next instant Charley Ross sprang
forward and clasped the handouts on, and
Mr. Newton was marched off amid the
shrieks and groans Of the congregation.
When his trial came off he made full con-
fession, and he went to Sing Sing for q
term of fifteen years.
All the fruits of his robberies were re-
covered save the money, and Anna Rod
man willingly gave up the widows ring.
After few weeks later was presented
with fine gold watch by the people OF
Bond street, whose church is in charge OF
q minister who is not o. wolf IN Sleeps
clothing
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

STEAM DEFINED.-At railway station an
old lady said to a very pompous-looking
gentleman who was talking about steam
communication
''Pray, sir, what is steam ?"
stSteam, a'am, is, all steam is, ah
all steam is steam
81 knew that chap couldn't tell ye," said
a rough looking fellow standing by. "But
steam is bucket of water in terrible per
spiration."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

nzg~ A clergyman was reproving an old
farmer for his revengeful conduct towards
them that had offended him. You should
love your enemies" observed the parson /;
'and preserve an affection for those that
hurt you" 81 do love my enemies, re-
torted the son of the plough ''and have a
great affection for them that hurt e.
"No such thing" returned the clergyman.
'eYou don't love your enemies" 81 do. "
"Who are the enemies you love ?" Rum
and cider"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

Day Gen. Grants first military order as
President, assigns Sheridan to the only
place for which his unfitness and incompe-
tency had been completely demonstrated ;
and after sending to the most prominent
stations generals of lower rank and less
brilliant services than the only genera
named as his competitor for the Presiden-
cy, Hancock namely,-him General Grant
sends to Dakota This is magnanimous.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

These goods have been selected
with great care to suit the wants Of
this community, and will be sold as
heretofore, at the lowest living rates
for cash or exchanged for country
produce at market prices. Thankful
for the past liberal patronage, shall
endeavor by strict attention to my
business, to merit a continuance OF
the same, and will try to make the
future still more attractive and ben
efcial to customers.
C. DETRICK.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
.an A rnnnn mann rnshed thronrh

-GA young man rushed through the
streets of Toledo, Ohio, the other day, fol-
lowed by very excited German. The lat
ter was shouting as he ran ''he ish going
smit der reever, uuder der ice under, for to
suicide commits -" Several citizens Joined
in the chase, and the fugitive was captur-
ed Just in time to prevent him from leaping
into the half river
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

A Coop SPyG1Ass.-An Irishman was
speaking of the excellence of a telescope
"Do you see that wee speck on the edge Of
the hill yonder? That, now, is my old pig,
though hardly to be seen but when look
at him with my glass, it brings him so near
that can plainly hear him grunt."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

HEM AND HAw.-A man about town was
lately invited to q sewing party. The next
day friend asked him how the entertain
ment came off. ooh it was very amusing"
he replied, ''the ladies hemmed and haw-
ed"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

SAVED. We were amused with the re-
mark of an old lady who was admiring. the
beautiful picture called "Saved."
cts no wonder" says she, that the
poor child tainted, after pulling the great
dog out of the water"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

R9~ Grandfather" said saucy little
boy the other day, chow old are youp"-
The old gentleman, who was much under
the ordinary size, took the child between
his knees, and said, MY dear boy, am
seventy-fve years old but why do you
ask 2" The little fellow replied, "Well, it
appears to me You arc remarkably small of
your age"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

Bas~ A young lady school-teacher of In
dianapolis was one Sunday endeavoring to
impress upon her scholars the terrible ef-
fects of the punishment Of Nebuchaduez-
ger. She told them that for seven years
he ate grass just like COW. Just then a
little boy asked: Did he give milk"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
OK LADIES LETTERS.

A great many loves, and great many
dears
A great many hopes, and great many
fears;
A great many tender, most tender adieus,
Mixed up with great deal of nonsense and
news;
A great many postscripts, some long and
some short,
To prove that the writer is fruitful IN
thought.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

BSy~ A richly dressed lady stopping boy
trudging along with basket, and asked,
"AIy little boy, have you got religion ?"--
''No, ma'au1," said the innocent, "Tve got
potatoes"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

bk5> The following are among the signs
of the shops of negro traders at Fort Smith
Arkansas ''Camphein And burnin fewd.
"Ches Nuts billed and Roar" -''Cain sect
cheers Re seeted Hear" ''Woshing, ironin
& going out doin dais wurks dun here"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

AN ARABS WoMAN's OPINION. Arab
woman was asked, ''What do you think Of
q young man of twenty years F"
''He is" she said ga bouquet ofiasmine. "
'sAnd of man of thirty ?"
"He is ripe and well-favored fruit"
'And one of forty p"
"He is father of girls and boys ?"
''And one of fifty ?"
s'He may pass into the category Of preach
ers" 4 --.t-.- - --au
''And one of sixty ?"
''He is good for nought but tocough and
groan." 80
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

bS5- A lady, regular shopper, who had
made an unfortunate clerk tumble over
all the stockings in the store, objected that
mono were long enough.
want" she said, ''the longest hose
that are made"
''Then, madam" was the reply, "you
had betterapply to the mex. engine-house. I"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

BE- care these calico horses painted ?"
asked an inquisitive lady at a circus, recent.
ly. aye" replied the clown, 'they are
grained every night and morning"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

B6s~ A doctor up town recently gave the
following prescription for lady: "a new
bonnet, cashmere shawl, and new palr
of gaiter boots. The lady, it is needless to
say, has entirely recovered.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

B5- What is that which occurs once in
q minute, twice in moment, and not once
in a hundred years The letter NJ
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

R9sr When may a man be said TO break
fast before he gets up? When he takes a
roll in bed
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

BaE- Why is a minister like locomo-
tive? We have to look out for him when
the bell rings.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
54netrU.
THE BAREFOOT BOY.
BY JOHN @. WHITTIER.

BY JOHN @. wHITTIER.
Blessings on thee, little man
Barefoot boy, with cheeks OF tan!
With upturned pantaloons,
And thy merry, whistled tunes
With thy red lip, redder still
Kissed by strawberries on the hill
With the sunshine on thy face,
Through thy torn brim, jsunty grace;
From my heart give ye joy,
Twas once a barefoot boy.
o. for boyhood's painless play,
Sleep that wakes in laughing day,
Health that knocks the doctors rules,
knowledge never learned at schools,
Of the wild bees morning chase,
OF the wild flowers time and place,
Flight OF fowls and habitude,
OF the tenants of the wood,
How the tortoise bears his shell,
How the woodchuck digs his cell,
And the ground-mole sinks his well,
How the robin feeds her young,
How the orioles nest is hung;
Where the whitest lilies grow,
Where the freshest berries grow,
Where the ground nut trails his vine,
Where the woOd-grape clusters shine;
OF the black wasp's cunning way,
Mason of his wall of clay,
And the architectural plans,
Ofgray hornet artizans!
For eschewing books and tasks,
Nature answers all he asks;
Hand in hand with her he walks,
Face to face with her he talks,
Part and parcel of her joy
Blessings on the barefoot boy
Cheerful, then, my little man,
Live and laugh, as boyhood can,
Though the f1inty slopes be hard,
Stubble spread the new morn sward,
Every morn shall lead thee through
Fresher baptism of the dew;
Every evening from thy feet,
Shall the cool winds kiss the heat;
In the prison cell of pride,
Lose the freedom of the sod,
Like the colt for work we shod,
Made to tread the mills Of toll,
Up and down the eeaseless moil--
Happy If thy track be found
Never on forbidden ground
Happy If they sink not in
Quick and treacherous sands Of sin,
All that thee may know the joy,
Ere 1t passes, barefoot boy.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

BG- If all the letters in the alphabet were
to run q race, which letter would be sure to
be first in starting? The letter s.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
NO. IS.
Wiss & qtbsrmiss,

Gag Why are lazy-looking girls the most
adored? Because they are idle-eyes-ed."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

Misery loves company-So does mar
riageable young lady.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07

CAUSE OF CROOKED EYEs.-'I say mis-
ter" said one. Yankee to another, show
came your eyes SO crooked ?"
"My?" ...
eyes"
''Why, sitting between two girls, and try
ing to make love to both at the same time"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
1l1yuming 9enlurrat.
. nnmocratIc weekly

A Democratic weekly
p,per devoted to Poh
News, the Arts
.ri sciences &c. Pub
fshed every We Dies
.4v. at runkhannOck
wyoming County, Pa
BY HARVEY SICNER
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-07
Hosiery and Gloves, Ladies' Vests, White
Goods, and Yankee notions
in endlessva-
riety.

HOOPSKIRTS d. CORSETTS,
direct from the manufacturers, at greatly
reduced prices.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24
Universal Suffrage Amendments.

This has been defeated for the pres sent
by the non-concurrence of the House, II
great objection urged by that body being,
we understand, that the Chinese of Cali
fornia could vote under its provisions
Such a result, Of course, would defeat the
ultimate object of the scheme. as it is only
intended to entranchse black men.
1t is certainly right and proper in Con-
gress to make distinctions in favor of an
unfortunate race, especially when numer-
Gus votes are to be obtained. But who
would submit to being elected by China
mems votes? Ugh! Had the amendment
passed beth houses it would then remain
for such disposal as the several legislatures
should see fit to make it. 1t is hardly
probable, however, that their action would
avail in making it the supreme law Of the
land. We think that there is too much
prejudice to be overcome, besides every
State is watchful Gifts interests, aud being
jealous of its rights will not permit en-
cronchments. The woman's rights qucs-
ton also forms an obstruction which can
not easily be removed or passed over
South Bend Union.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24

70 feed nubbins of corn, or dry grounds
feed to cattle, because it is not properly
chewed, as intended by nature, and as it is
necessary to be entirely digested. -
To feed cattle at stacks, because they
waste more than they eat.
To allow cattle to roam at will all over
the country, or the farm because they
trample upon and injure valuable grass
lands or grain crops. Keep them at home,
stall them, and have warm stables; you
will save the manure and economize feed.
10 allow the hay to lie late before morn
ing. 1t is better to neglect your corn, in
order to secure your hay early.
! To burn valuable timber for fuel, at the
present price Of timber.
/ To let untitled land lie waste and un-
used, when it would be quite easy to de-
vote it to the production Of trees for the
purpose of building. The woodfuel any
farmer uses each winter would be worth
in money sufficient to purchase coal for
two years. .~u .-..
To let cattle run out of the stable on
cold days after eating dry feed, and be
sent off to ill themselves with iced water
and get a chill I or stand liuddled up in
some fence corner the greater part Of the
day.
To cultivate any more land than can be
thoroughly taken care of and well ma
nured.
If every farmer would look long and
hard enough, he would find more leaks
than he is aware of.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24

MIXEs UP SLIGHTLY.-IIere is a little
article from the pen of Mark Twain, Civ
ing an account of Il visit. while in New
York. to the great Bible House:
; Still on the fifth floor is a huge room
with nineteen large Ad.n.'s steam presses,
ALE nahned. hyS omen (some of them
pretty, too) snatching off
Bibles i'll Dutch, Hebrew, Yam yam, Cher.
okee, etc, at i rate. that was truly
fructilying to contemplate. stDon't know
the meaning of that word, but [ heard it
used somewhere yesterday, and it struck
me rs being an unusually good word
Any time that put in word that doesn't
balance the sentence good, would be glad
if you would take it out and put it in
that one.) Adjoining was another huge
room for drying the printed sheets VERY
pretty girls in there, young,) and pressing
them (the sheets, not the girls, They
used hydraulic presses, three Of the
prettiest wore curls, and never sign of a
Y atcflall--the girls mean land each Of
them is able to go down with the almost
incredible weight Of eight hundred tons
OF solid, simonpure pressure, the hy>
drauics | am referring to now, of course,)
and one has got blue eyes, and both the
others brown. All me! have got this
hydraulic business tangled little, but 1
can swear that it is no fault of mine. You
needn't 20 to blame me about it. You
have got to pay just the same as if it were
straight as shingle. | can't afford to 60
in dangerous places, and then get my
wages docked in the bargain. -r.-sr >
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24

One night last week at tho Tammany
Theatre, New York, u policeman was seen
marching out prisoner, who had been de-
tected in the act of cutting off one of those
beautiful blonde chignoas that decorate the
heads of the New York bellies. The excite.
ment for the moment was intense, and every
fair one present was observed extending
their digits to that portion of the Uranium
usually ornamented by such APPENDICES.
The victim belonged to the Lydia Thompson
troupe now playing at Nibio, s Garden. The
villain who perpetrated this outrage has
lately arrived from Paris, where this class
of theving is carried on extensively. 1t is
supposed that during the past few moaths
he has amassed nearly $4,000 at his trade,
and ut the time of his arrest seven long
pair of cLrls were found in his pockets.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24
ID L H d.:


At McGresor, on Sunday night Feb. 2lst, about
IL, OF Pneumonia, af.er an illness of one week,
George uENAY, second son OF John H. aud Hannah NJ.
Freeman. GIokGE was born in Nalerco Ill., Oct
3d. ls4S; he was aged 20 years, months and Is
days. e-pasa rs,s-rs@ a
Tho deceased was an industrious, hard working,
steady, SOBER young man, whose death our commune
ty universally deplores. We do not remember to
have heard more sorrow expressed, than was seen
and heard when the Of his sudden death spread
through the city. Faithful every trust and often
times those trusts were large; mild in disposition |;
manly in his associations vita his equals deferent,a
to those older than himself it is rare that parents
lose Il son so much calculated to awaken grie. We
kno the sadness which fills the hearts of his agonized
mother his father his brother and two little sisters
1t is not weakness to confess that have wept for
their sorrow, butwe cannot do more. Tho All-Seeing
does His own will; tits our duty, painful though it
be to submit. May God pity all of us. Our paths
NIL lead tothe tomb; no skill If earth, or prayers Of
heart will avail when Time makes our record up
The funeral sermon was preached Tuesday. at tlp
residence, by Rev. Dir. Sawyer of the Baptist Church.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24
Grants cLittie spceche-The Row
a BeCum. e'f

DeSu"'
The little speech Of the President elect
referring to his policy in appointing his
cabinet, seems to have produced but little
satisfaction, if any at all. Gen. Grant
still persists in remaining the sphynx that
he has always been. He does not intend
that anybody shall know who his cabinet
is until it is announced to the Senate; and
he intimates that those whom he may se-
lect will know but little about it them
selves till about that time. All the toady
newspapers those who are determined to
be pleased with everything till they find
out whether they get that little Office of
which they are in search, speak in the
highest terms of this noval plan of select
ing a cabinet, and imagine that it is likely
to work well. But the radicals established
the practice with Lincoln of debating to
him whom he should have and whom he
should net have for cabinet officers, and
the result was that pitiful state of affairs
in Lincoln's cabinet graphically described
in another ''little speech made by Grant
the same day, when he Lincoln "found
himself with but one vote in the Cabinet
in favor of his administration, and that
vote his own" Gen. Grant further said
that be considered the members Of his
Cabinet the same as he did the members
of his staff, who were to aid his adminis-
tration, and for whom he was to be
responsible. .lo@
These expressions have istiffened the
Senate up on the subject of the repeal of
the tenure of office act, which they will
not repeal. 1t is new power, and men,
do not, as rule, relinquish any new pow
err that they may grasp, or may happen to
find in their hands. A dispatch from
radical source, friendly to Grant, admits
that his views are severely criticised by
radicals, but styles them ''pufed-up and
consequential Congressman rail against
him with good deal of bitterness and
talk about their rights as the Immediate
representatives of the people and the me-
cessity of showing him that he cannot run
the government alone very long" This
will do for while but all the evidences
indicate tumultuous, factious, unsuccess-
full administration. 1t begins that way
81. Paul DailY Pioneer. ----~eFs -' -
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24

| Of all the joys vouchsafcd to man in
Ilife's tempestuous whirl there's naught
approaches heaven SO near as sleighing
with a Cirl--a rosy, laughing buxom girl ;
IA fax. good natural, honest girl a
feeling, flirting, dashing, doating, smiling,
smacking. jolly, joking, jaunty, jovial,
inosar-poking, dear, little duck of girl
Pile up your wealth a mountain high, you
lsnecring, scofins churl, I'll laugh as | 90
dashing by with my iingling bells and
girl the brightest, dearest, sweetest
girl: the trinmest, gayest, neatest girl;
the funniest, fushest. frankest, fairest,
roundest. ripest, roguishest. rarest, spunk.
lest. spiciess, squirmicst, squarest, best of
girls, with dropping lasheS, half conceal>
ing orous tashes-just thersirl for a
chap like me to court, and love, and
marry. you see-with rosy cheeks and
clustering curls, the. Sweetest and the best
of girls. 9E3 / & III
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-02-24

erscns wishing to 80 to the cars, by
ing thei. orders at the City Hotel, will
fcalled for at their houses; and passen.
VI 9tom the railroad will be taken direct
eir houses in any part Of the city. A
Il bte runs to and from the cars for all
70 sof the City Hotel. 7. ArwooD.