The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-08-21
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not forget that they have to keep COM
pany with a person who wants as much
watching as any body else.
A puppy plays with every pup he
meets but old dogs have few associates.
1t costs great deal to be wise, but it
don't cost anything to be happy.
Necessity begot convenience, conven-
fence begot pleasure, pleasure begot
luxury, luxury begot riot and disease
riot and disease between them begot
poverty, poverty begot necessity again
and this is the revolution OF man and Is
about all he can brag on.
When man loses his health, then he
just begins to take care Of it. This IS
good judgement, this is,
To kiss rosy checked girl, and find
your mouth filed with Venetian red,
and she growing pale on it, is truly aw.
full.
Some say that the quickest way of
destroying "weeds" is to marry wild
ow. 1t is, no doubt, most agreeable
species of Aus5and,y.
A man who was imprisoned for marry
ing two wives, complained that he had
been severely dealt with for an offence
aUAich carries its orn punishment along
auiM 1t!
A young man who has lately taken
wife Says he did not find it half SO hard
to get married as he did to get the furni
ture, and when it came to getting the
bread and butter he had to fall back on
the old folks.
A pedantic fellow was complaining to
the celebrated Lord Erskine that he
had fallen over his brothers. park gate,
and extensively abraded the epidermis
on the facial portion of his person. His
lordsbip remarked that it was most
fortunate circumstance his brothers gate
was not as high as his style, or he would
evidently have broken his neck.
MA" said a Juvenile grammarian.
when she returned from school. INA,
mayn't take some of the currantjelly
on the sideboardl" NO." said the
mother sternly. "Well, then, ma.
mayn't I take some of the ice-cream?"
No. again replied ma. 1t was not
long, however, before the young miss
was found ''digging" into both: Ibid
| not tell you," said the maternal parent,
in a somewhat angry tone, "not to
touch them?'' You said no twice, ma"
said the precocious girl, "and the school
mistress says that two negatives are
equal to an Affirmative; so | thought
you meant that should eat them." The
mother sat down upon the. sofa, and said
that the talent some peoples children
had for learning was astonishing.
"Mamma!' exclaimed a beautiful
girl, who had suffered affec'ation to OBJ
scure the little intellect she possessed,
"what is that long green thing lying on
the dish before you?' "A cucumber,
my beloved Georgiana,'' replied the
with bland smile Of approba-
ton at her darling's commendable eurios-
ity. "A cucumber! gracious goodness,
my dear mamma, how very extraordina-
ry! 1 always imagined until this mo.
ment,; that they grew in Slices
"Soldiers must be mighty dishonest"
says Mrs. Partiugton, ''as it seems to
be nightly occurrence for sentry to
be relieved of his watch" ...
A story is told of a German shoema-
ker who, having made pair of boots for
a gentleman of whose financial integrity
be had considerable doubt, made thy
reply to him when he called
for the articles " Der poots ish not quite
done, but der beel ish made out"
Sheridan once said to Erskine, "Ah,
Tom, had | stuck to the law I might have
been what you are; but Mrs. S. or my
self was always obliged to write for our
daily leg Or shoulder of mutton" "Ah,"
said Erskine, II always heard your
literature was a joint concern"
The landlord Of hotel said to o
boarder, Look a'here! want you to
pay your bill, and you must. T have
asked you often enough for it, and I tell
you now that you don't leave the house
until Yen have paid it," "Good" said
the lodger. "rll stay with you as long
US | live"
"A passive verb" said teachor, "is
of the nature of receiving an
action, as, Peter is beaten Now, what
did Peter doP "Wen, [ don't know"
said the scholar, celebrating, "unless he
hollered.' ... .#-~- ....---
At recent Sabbath-school concert, in
a suburban church, the ordinance of
baptism was administered The clergy
man in charge expressed qualification
that the occasion offered him SO good an
opportunity to explain to the children
the nature Of the service. By way of
he said: I'm Old Testament
times blood was offered as an atoning
sacrifice: hence it was spoken of as
purifier; but what is used as an emblem
Of purity nowadays-what element
the idea of perfect cleanliness?"
A moments silence, and then dozen
little voices squeaked out, " Soap"
"As to Icing conflicted with the gous,"
said Mrs. Partlngton,, high living doesn't
bring it on. 1t is incoherens ln some
families, and it is handed down from
father to son. Mr.. Hammer, poor soul,
who has been SO long i'll with It, disia-
herits it from his wife's grandmother.
II know every rock on the coast"
said an Irish pilot. At that moment the
ship struck, when he exclaimed, And
hats one Of themm s7&#..i
Monster-I am sitting on your crino
[ina ma am ..,nt-..-.-.