The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1869-02-10
CONJUGAL TIFE,S.
From the London Review. I


The wonderful trials Of temper imposed by
matrlmony can scarce ever be known to an OUT
sloer. The provocative power Of a. woman,
which is naturally considerable become many
degreffs heg intensified by %arrage FIRST Of ALL
thoroughly acquainted with all the weak
points Of her lord. She knows exactly where
to hurt him most severely. and whore to touch
world. There is no doubt that when Xantippe
pitched crockery at the sconce OF her
husband, she, accompanied the missiles
With vi! - jeers at the poor mans doctrine.
the tongue Of his hslpmate, and we can
imagine her, not only hiding his pea aud ink,
but making fun OF his verses. But these are
historical cases, where the battles were of
chronic occurrence. In real lfe people when
married 40 not altogether bark and bite. There
are intervals OF repose when the atmosphere is
clear and the sun shines; or, as itmay happen,
the storms are exceptional and the squalls com
paratively rare. Of-hand encounters frequently
tend to postpone mora serious conclusions, and
the little domestic sliirmishes common to the
matrimonial state act as safety valves OF energy
which might, under strict confinement, burst
into disastrous explosion. There are numbers
OF women who would be quite uncomfortable if
they had not small quarrels with their hus-
bands. The smooth and even tenor Of every
day existence is broken up into o picturesque
variety by these passages. Husbands (espe-
cially when new to their happiness) are often
puzzled to know what makes the angel CROSS,
and, to use an expressive term, cantankerous.
They ask the cause, but they arc fenced off ut-
til q chance occu1s for treading on their corns,
and then the shindy commences in real earn
est. A lady OF this delightful complexion is
completely happy, if she can wind up with
good cry. Ths dear creature dissolves into
tears, aud the man feels himself at once
brute. This is her revenge. There is nothing
now for the husband but absolute submission
and full acknowledgment Of his being in the
wrong. A woman has lost her ground forever
who fails in her object when she has recourse
to her pocket handkerchief, and 10 display Of
swollen eyes and a red hose. Few, however,
are stupid enough to play this card until their
adversary becomes tlisgusted with the trick; it
is generally kept back until the right time, and
then used with O vengeance.
The fascinating hypocrisy Of the sex is
shown ia nothing with such grace as in the
periods which Immediately ensue after tiff
10 the visitor or the casual diner there is no
indication whatever OF the disturbance. If
symptom is shown at all it is by the husband,
who has not the same faculty as his wife Of
smoothing his feathers when rufhed. OF course
this is only in good society. Among other
classes it is not SO simple q thing to dispose of
the visible tokens Of matrimonial sparring
match. There are such things as black eyes
aud scratched faces. Yet it may happen that
those. OF a higher sphere suffer just as bad
punishment as the less polished combatants.
Inward bleeding is more dangerous than ON
open wound. 1t is a fact that all tiffs
can never be forgiven. A wild, vicious word
may stick and ran:-io in woman's heart
forever. Such word was applied, for instance,
by MI. Johnatnan Wild to the lady who visited
him in trouble; and it is believed she hung
him for it. man who studies the disposition
of his wife for the sake Of his own peace must
be cautious to mark the foibles of temper, Tor
the best of wives have certain weaknesses in
this respect, which it would be unfair and
rather uncomfortable to ignore II they would
only discover them to us before marriage
But that IS not the custom. Such frankness
would be almost fatal to tho institution which
binds communities together. Besides, after
all, women with tempors arc much more tole-
-rohle tfIan Wuh,c., without. Thcy posscss
betl acSion and spirit while the tame, equable
coiorless creature has neither. A landscape
seen in perpetual sunshine or moonshine
would be dull; it is O. relief to see it from time
to time stirred by the wind or in the light of
afiushed and angry sunset. Is this The rea-
son why poets so often marry shreWs? It is
probable that q lady who becomes conscious
that her husband is analyZing her would, out
OF sheer spite, give him something to specu-
late upon of @ hard and practical description:
she would cross his romantic vision on q broom
stick, OF, worse again, fit over his brain with a
poker. Albert Durer was, it is thought, bless-
ed in this fashion. Vulgar men are. not ex-
empt fl ON similar beuedlctions in disguise.
Yet they conceal their favors heroically. The
divorce court let's us into the many secrets;
but there are thousands Of profounder secrets
unknown to that useful establishment. Titfs
are not sufficient causes for separation al
though they may lead to the most plenary rea-
sons for parting.
We should think that in most instances when
they do. the fault M with the husband. Mar
riaee is science. Or, rather, fine art. There
is scarcely any woman who could not be re-. y
duced, by good system and discipline, to an
uncomfortable line OF conduct. Whether every
woman would be worth the trouble Of such q
training is quite another question; but, un-
doubtedly, to the man who Is married, there is
no more Important task to take in hand. It
requires Judgment. GOODNESS and just little
clever cruelty; The slightest sign Of weak
Of ncapactyS viii SPOIL the he entire operation %
Roughness OF any kind is, indeed, most unde-
sirable, and is only the weapon Of clumsy re-
formers. Mild irony and satire with the chill
OF is much more effectual. Petruchio laid
Kate, where heAaid:
"I will attend her here
And WOO her with some spirit when she comes.
Say that she rail why then 'ltell her plain
She sings as sweetly as nightingale,
Say that she frown /; I'll say she looks as clear
Az morning roses newly washed with dew.
Say she VIII be mute and win not speak word.
Then I'LL commend her vou oility,
And say she utters piercing eloquence."
Petruchio was genuine woman. tanner, who
used his art not unkindly. OF course, there are
whose husbands have no alter
native but 9 study Of the Book of Job, and
strong faith In compensatiye immortality. With
them there ls no rest. When we read in the
papers OF brutal violence towards wives, we are
often too sentime atal in condemning the hus-
band. We may not take into account the un-
bearable provocation to which he is often SUBJ
jected. A story is told of an actor who had to
repeat Tobin Is celebrated claptrap, 1.-The man
who lays his hand upon o woman save". &C. It
occurred to him at the moment that he had
whacked his wife about half an hour previous
ly. in the presence of the green-roem, and SO,
in order not to appear Inconsistent, he altered
the text thus: ''The man who lays his hand
upon woman. save wnen she deserves it," &c.
We should be sorry to allow this freedom with
50 noble modern toast, bnt, unquestionably.
there are times when its literal interpretation
must seem unjust to laborers whose wives
pawn the childIen's clothes and waste the
money in drink.
Into this branch os the subject. however, it
is not our intention 10 enter. Disputes be-
ana wf IN Which me
are beyond the cooler region Of tiffs. It IS
well when the tiff only resembles lovers
quarrel. and is established, perhaps, by the
lady, foe the express purpose Of delightful
makIng-up. On such occasions good hus-
band is expected to show bis appreciation Of
the luxurious misery he has gone through by o