Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-06-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

TEACH your children to help themselves,
but not to what doesn't belong to them.
THE New York Commercial calls Miss
Ida Lewis "The Great American Life
Preserver."
HAPPINESS consists in being perfectly
satisfied with what we have got, and with
what we haven't got.
IT is the privilege of the lover to be at
one and the same time in two situations.
When beside his sweetheart he is also be-
side himself
"MY son, know myself" solemnly said
father to one of his offspring. THANK
YOU. sir" replied the son, but my list OF
acouaintances is sufficiently large al
ready"
A sHoKsTRINa saved little girls life in
New Haven the other day. 1t caught on
nail as she fell out of third story win
dow, and held her from death until assist
ance came.
A MAN who died lately at Braunan
confessed on his death-bed that ne had
poisoned sixteen members OF his own
family. Each of them owned nttie
property, and he wanted to inherit all OF IT,
| OK tombstone over the grave OF an
aged lady, in the Southington cemetery, IS
the following singular inscription: How
do pity young people who have to &c
through the world"
| THE British Anti Tobacco Society held
Its anniversary at Exeter Hall, London, on
the Gath of May. The report condemned
smoking as tending to promote drunken
ness, lunacy and pauperism. FFrE' y
| A GENTLEMAN one day indiscreetly
asked friend how old she was. She re-
fected "Let me see; l was IL when l
was married, and my husband was 80 (;
now he is twice 80, that is 60; 80, of
course, am twice 10, that is &c."
LIVERPOOL is aghast at the presump-
ton of Yankee who, finding himself in
that city without the means to secure a
breakfast, calmly smashed large window
and quietly waited to be arrested and
taken care of. .s -sl. dr.. crs
A LADY went out with her little girl
and boy, and purchased the latter rub
Der balloon, which escaped him and went
up into the air. The girl, seeing the tears
in his eyes, said, "Never mind, Neddie
when you die and 60 to heaven you'll dit
it,"
THE passion for dress, about which we
hear 80 much just now, is nothing new
An old artist thus lampoons the ladies of
his day:
"What IL the reason-can you guess
Why men are poor and women thinneri
So much do they for dinner dress,
That nothing's left to dress for dinner
ABOUT two months ago dog was
shipped by gentleman in Cincinnati TO
relative in Dubuque. Only few
days since the dog turned up again, at the
residence of his former master, very
weary and very foot-sore, having walked
all the way back, a distance of nearly six
hundred miles.
Who is Little Sunshine? The child
who does not pout, nor say cross words,
but who goes about the house laughing,
smiling, singing saying kind words and
doing kind deeds-that child is Little
Sunshine. Does anybody know Little
Sunshine? Where docs Little Sunshine
liveit
A JOURNAL called the Point of Honor,
is about to be published in Florence. 1t
is the official organ of society recently
started in Italy for the purpose of abolish
ing duelling, by establishing a court of
honor for the settlement of the disputes
among gentlemen which are usually de-
cided by an appeal to arms.
A CLERGYMAN, who was consolng a
young widow on the death of her husband,
spoke IN very serious tone, remarking
that he was one of the few,-such Jewel
OF Christian,-yOu cannot find his equal,
you well know. To which the sobbing
one replied, with an almost broken heart :
"Pn bet will"
THE General Conference of the United
Brethren passed resolution recommend
ing that their ministers and members be-
longing to any secret organization, should
have six months notification to withdraw
from said organization, and on refusal to
withdraw, their names are to be erased
from the rolls Of the church.
A PERUVIAN newspaper speaks of an
extraordinary phenomenon discovered in
the road of Locumba, which appears to
have been caused by the late earthquakes.
Every beast that reaches q certain spot
Immediately falls dead. This has so often
taken place that immense numbers of car
casses are heaped on the spot.
THE following is from the .Advance :
"Not great while ago, one of the New
York churches sought to increase the size
of its congregation and contributions by
employing half dozen handsome young
women to pass the collection boxes fol
missionary and other Objects The plan
was reluctantly given up, however, after
the place had acquired the name of The
Church of the Pretty Waiter Girls"
A YOUTH of Lewiston, Maine, went
Sparkling Sunday night a young lsdv o.
quite tender years. The old folks thought
two babies had no right to "sit up" sc
they limited their opinions hy sending tn.
girl to bed, and presenting the boy hug,
piece of bread and butter with the KIND
remarks: "There, Bub, take this and ru1
home to your mother; it's time little boy
were in bed"
HERE is little episode from trial a
the Partisan Correctional Police Court
An old vagabond is brought up. Having
been often sent to prison before, he recog
nized in the prosecutor a man who haC
repeatedly urged the court to find hin
guilty. "Ah, recognize you, M. x
he said to the prosecutor. Gas for me-
replied the latter, "I admire vou.'
"What, you admire me, and yet you have
so often pronounced me a worthless ole
vagabond and swindler? $50 l have
but admire perfection in everything, and
you are perfect old villain" ,r.s w..
A CURIOUS case of punishment for cruel.
ty to animals is reported in the English
papers. Edward Wheeler, while riding
on horseback, was followed by dog,
which frightened the horse. Dismounting
he seized the dog and dashed out its brains
against wall For this offense he was
arrested, convicted and sentenced to three
| mnnfha, mi ut l.