The Portland daily press., 1869-02-08
Varieties.

"A practical joker in Michigan got on the
root of a house and initiated an owl with such
fidelity to nature that one of his friends shot
him. I..1
"A fellow, arrested in New York as he was
carrying off ten hams which he had stolen,
pleaded in extenuation that he wished to re-
leve the sufferings of poor family in the
neighborhood
-Planchette has invaded Brigham Young's
dominions, and his Salt Like organ shivers
with horror at its demoralizing influence.
Brigham Young warns all his followers to
have nothing to do with Planchette, lest they
be "drawn under the influence which accom-.
panies it,"
"A free school for teaching women the art
of telegraphy will be opened on the 18th of
this month, at the Cooper Institute in New
York. This school is established by tie Coop
er Union in conjunction with the Western
Union Telegraph Company and is the first at
tempt in this country to give women regular
training as telegraph operators.
The Dover Morning Star thinks the phrase
"polite literature" is in danger of passing out
ofuse for want of something to which it may
be properly attached.
AAAoo ]AAShOAJ 0PPAOPAA~tNAJ AOcA5udtSS
Mr.. Train as ''the special creation of the nine
teenth century"
Apples and potatoes can be picked over to
good advantage this month. No fruit or veg
etables should be allowed to decay in the cell
lar, if for no other reason than for the foul,
poisonous air and gases which arise from
them.
"A letter directed as follows is held in the
postoffiee for want of stamp: Mikell Fine
gan, q Green street, New York. ?. S.-please
hurry this long, Gus why, Gus there is my noat
in it.
The other day we printed an anecdote of
Billy Hibbard, the Methodist. Here is anoth-
er: BILLY" was apt TO be pugnacious in the
pulpit 1t was well nigh impossible for him to
say "Amen" until he had given the Five
Points of Calvinism a rap. Once after he had
been thus freeing his mind, good Presbyter-
an friend who had been listening said, Broth
er Hibbard you hurt my feelings by what you
said about so and so'-some point of Calvinis-
tic doctrine. "Oh," was the reply, 81 am sor-
ry you took that; I aimed that at the devil,
and you stepped in and took the blow insteadI
Don't get between me and the devil, brother,
and you won't get hurt"
"A Scotchman went to lawyer once for
advice, and detailed the circumstances OF the
case. "Have you told me the facts precisely
as they occurred?" said the lawyer sob, ay,
sir" lejoined he. Il thought it best to tell ye
the plaiE truth; ye can put the lies in your
self"
After the lapse of two centuries, we are
likely-according to the Paris Moniteur-to
learn all about that historical mystery, the
"Man in the Iron Mask" One NJ. Topin
claims to have discovered and put into the
hands of the historian Mignet the facts Of this
case. The mask was not an "iron" but vel
| vet mask, and it may be that the man was not
a man at all. but woman. We wait further
| developments.
1t is said that Miss KeIlog, has been
haunted from town to town out West by q
stage-struck young lady who wants to be
prima donna, In Chicago Miss Kellogg took
| pity on the girl, permitted her to show of her
voice, and discovered a musical prodigy me
successful de5s,tante is Miss Abbott ana her
| patron has promised to see her through
| All the Young men Of Chicago are SAID TO
he classified according to their skill as yelocl'
/ nad;sts into the "timid toddlers," the wary
| wabblers." the "go-it-graceiuls" and the San
cy few"
fes that she will probably be able to resume
her professional engagements in fortnight
| She ha, already suffered for that length OF
time severe attack OF rheumatism, produced
| by sprain received in falling off the cars.
1t has Just been decided in Glasgow
court that chimney sweep cannot claim 10
ha oil i,,o hor1u q0
his sooty dress makes him nuisance to other
| passengers. The same rule was declared APP
| plicable to bakers in their working clothes
| Begging has been suppressed in town OF
England by the following plan:-When
tramp applies to any one for relief, he OF sue
| gets a ticket entitlihg to bread at a puohS IN
stitution, and, on applying az the ins'i'usou'
not only gets the bread, but has 10 car ~ 'ueu
and there This process haV'"s Ueeo'ue
known. has induced tramps 10 Noiu that
town,
o,,ass hos written to some of the papers We
Soroan,lv denying the assertion of some rash
aorihbler that her golden locks are dyed.
REV. Mr., Stebbins, the first minister of
Smsbury Conn, preached at Barkhamstead
one Sunday, and his wife, who accompanied
him, was taken so i'll that he returned without
her. A sympathetic parishioner cOmforted
him with the certainty that death would hnd
his spouse well prepared. "Oh, yes" rephed
the good man, "Ive not the slightest DOUBT
that she will go straight to Heaven put o''u
bear the idea of her going from D"rAu"''i-
| steadl"