The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-06-08
a RemarHnb1e VIII by a wealthy Man.
ne DevIses his whole Fortune to En-.
hnru an InflrmRrY for Cats

dow an In6rmRry for Cats.
The Columbus (Ohio) Journal of Tues.
dav last says: Yesterday we heard of
and read part of the most singular will
on record. The maker OIL the will 1s
represented to be ehrewd, successful
business man, who has accumulated
ouitet large fortune. He exhibits no
other sign of insanity than may be de-
rived from the extreme eccentric of this
will, although it Is probable the courts
will, in due course, be called upon to
determine the question whether the
testator was of sound and dispOsing
mind.
The will dtsinherits all the natural
heirs of the maker of it, and devises
the entire property in trust for the es-
tablishment OF an Infirmary for Cats.
A most elaborate architectural plan for
the necessary buildings Is attached to
and made part of the will. 1t provides
areas for that sweet nmatory converse
40 dear TO the feline heart, and rat
holes of the most raYishing nature, to
be kept we'll stocked. The most in
genious contriVances are provided for
the securing to the rat chance to es-
cape, so that the cats may not lose the
pleasure of the chase by finding their
prey come too easily. High walls are
10 be built, with gently sloptng roofs,
for the moonlight promenade and other
nocturnal amusements OF the cats. The
trustees are directed to select the
grounds for this novel inhrmary in the
most populous part OF some American
city, and the devisees are to be protected
By competent force of nurses from the
ravages of men and dogs. No person of
the male sex is ever to be admitted
within the walls, and no female who
has children or Is under thirty years
old. There are hundreds Of minute dt-
rections which we have no time to
note.
One would suppose that in the fore-
going provisions the testator had eX-
hausted all the eccentricities OF one
man, however unique his nature; but
the last provision OF the will seems
more outrageously bizarree than any
have all my life been taught that eve
rything in and about man was intend-
ed to be useful, and that it was mans
duty, as lord of animals. to protect all
the lesser species, even as God protects
and watches over him. For these two
combined reasons-t1rst, that my BODY,
even after death, may continue to be
made useful; and secondly, that 1t may
be made instrumental, as far as possl-
BILE, in furnishing a substitute for the
protection of the bodies of my dear
friends, the cats, L do hereby devise
and bequeath the intestines or my
body to De made up into hddle-strings,
the proceeds to be devoted to the pur"
chase of an ACCORDION, which shall be
played in the auditorium of the Cat
Infirmary by one of the regular nurses,
to be selected for that purpose exclu-
sively-the playing to be kept up for
ever and ever, without cessation day or
night, in order that the cats may have
the privilege of enjoying that instru-
ment which is the nearest approach to
their natural voice.
To proper appreciation OF this Won
derful story, 1t needs only to be added'
that it is doubtless fabricated out of the
whole cloth by the ingenious and sa-
tirical editor of the Journal.