Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
From Packards Monthly.
Mark TWain's Speech at the N.
Y. Press Club on the late Reli-
able COntraband,

able COntraband.
Mr.. Pre- ident and Gentzemen:-
1t is my painful duty to mar these
festivities with an announcement Of
death of one who is dear to US all
our tried and noble friend, the Gre
liable Contraband.' To the world
at large this event will bring no
sorrow, for the world never com
pretended him, never knew him as
we did, never had such cause to
love him; but unto as the calamity
brings unutterable anguish-for it
heralds the loss of one whose great
heart beat for us alone, whose tire
less tongue vibrated in our interest
only. whose fervent fancy wrought
miracles solely for our enrichment
and renown.
In his time what did he do for us ?
when marvels languished and sensa-
ton DISPATCHES grew tame, who was
it that laid down the shovel and the
hoe and came with healing on his
wings? The Reliable Contraband.
When armies fled in paEic and dis
may, and the great cause seemed
lost beyond hope of succor, who
was it that turned the tide of war
and gave victory to the vanquished
The Reliable Contraband. When
despair hung its shadows about the
hearts of the people, and sorrow
sat on every face, who was it that
braved every danger to bring cheer
ing and :ncomprehensible news from
the front? The Reliable Contra
band. Who took Richmond the
first time? The Reliable Contra
band. Who took it the second
time? The Reliable Contraband
Who took it every time until the
last, and then felt the bitterness o1
of hearing a nation applaue
the man who took it onc'
than that greater man who hat
taken it six times before? The
Reliable Contraband. When W.
needed a bloodless victory to whom
did we look to win it? The Relia
BILE Contraband. When we needed
news to make the peoples bowel
yearn, and their knotted and com
bined locks to stand on end lik'
quills upon the fretful porcupine, te
whom did we look to fetcl
it? The Reliable Contraband
When we needed any sort of des
cription of news upon any subjec
who was it that stood ready t.
steal horse and bring that new
along? The Reliable Contraband.
My friends, he was the faithfules
vassal that ever fought, bled ant
lied in the glorious ranks ofjournal
ism. Thunder and lightning neve
, stopped him; annihilated railroad
never delayed him; the TELEGRAPH
never overlook him; militar.
secresy never crippled his knowl
edge; strategic faints never confuse'
his Judgment; cannon balls couldn'
/ find him; Satan himself couldn'
catch him. His information com
prised all knowledge, possible AM
: impossible; his imaginatio
= was utterly boundless; his capacit
to make mighty statements, and S
5 back them up to make an inch Q
truth cover an acre of ground, with
/ out appearing to stretch Or tear. wa
J thing that appalled, even the mos
unimpressible with its awful grar
deur.
: The Reliable contraband Is n
| more! Born of the war, and neceE
/ sity of the war, and of the war only
e he watched its progress, took note
: of it's successes and reverses, mant
: factured and recorded the mo!
4 thrilling features of its daily histor,
e and then, when it died, his gre'
e mission was fulfilled, his occupatio
: gone, and he died likewise.
No journalist here present can Ia
y his hand upon his heart and say
: had not cause to love this faithf
! creature, over whose unsentiel
a form we drop these unavailing teal
d for no journalist among us all cs
d lay his hand upon his heart and ss
l. he ever lied with sucn pathos, sue
unction, such exquisite symmetr
such sublimity OF conception al
!" suck felicity of execution, as wh'
IS he did it through and by the inspir
t. ton of this regally gifted marvel
l. mendacity, the lamented RELIAB
J. CoRTRABAND. Peace to his ashe
lie Respectfully,
~ NIru-TuArN