The union Democrat., 1869-05-01
y Woman TINT Just Wanted a Peep Hate
That Private Closet.

"a u
That Private Closet.
A Lodge Of |. o. Q. F., at Woodstcwn, de-
termined to have their lodge room done up
clean and nice, and it was resolved unanim-
ously that Mrs. X. should be employed TO do
the job.
After the meeting adjourned, the guard
ian, who knew the inQuisitive character Of
Mrs. n, procured billy goat. and placed
him in closet that was kept as a reservoir
for the secret things lie then informed the
lady of the wishes of the Lodge and request
ed her to come early mex; morning. as he
would then be at leisure to stow her what
was and what was not to be done.
Morning came, and with it Madame X =
with her brocn. brushes. pals. tubs. etc,
prepared and armed for the job, and found
the guardian waiting for her.
"Now, Madam said he, II tell you
what we want done. and how we came 10
employ you. The brothers said it was diff
cult to get anybody to do the job, and not
be medding with the secrets in that little
closet We have lost the KEY. and cannot
find it to lock the door / assured them that
you could be depended on"
Depended on - Il guess / can. NY
poor dead and gone husband. who belonged TO
know which he used to tell me all the secrets
of the concern, and then he showed me all
the marks the grdiron made. when he was
initiated, and told me how they fixed POOR
Morgan, never told living soul to this dav.
If nobody troubles your closet to find out
your secrets till do. they'll lay there till
they rot-they will.
Il thought so" said the guardian "and
M / W. tn IN hat
and give the whole room decent cleaning /;
aud | have pledged my word and honor for
the fidelity of your promise. Now don't go
into that closet; and then he left the lady 70
herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound of his
feet on the last step Of the stairs, than she
exclaimed, Don't get into that closet -
I'm warrant there is a gridiron, or some
nonsense Just like the Ant-Masons, for all
the world. I'll be bound. will Just take a
peep and nobody will be any the wiser, as
can keep it to myself"
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closet, turned
the button which was no sooner done, than
bah went the billy goat, with spring to
regain his liberty, which came near upset
ting her ladyship. Both started for the door,
but it was filled with implements for house
cleaning, and all were swept clear from their
position down to the bottom of the stairs.
TIE noise and confusion oceasioned by
such an unceremonious coming down to the
bottom of the stairs. drew half the town to
witness Mrs. KS effort to get from under the
pile of pals, tubs, brooms, ard brushes in
the street.
Who should be the first to the spot but the
rascally door-keeper, who, after releasing the
goat, which was crippled for life, and up
lifting the rubbish that bound the good wo-
man to the earth, anxiously inquired if she
had been taking the degrees.
Taking the degrees - exclaimed the lady,
eff you call tumbling from the top to the
bottom of the stairs, with the devil after ye,
taking things by degrees. have them, and
if We frghten folks as we have me- and hurt
them to boot, Ill warrant they will make as
much noise as did"
81 hope you did not open the closet, mad
am, " said the door-keeper.
"Open the closet Eve ate the apple she
was forbidden If you want q woman to do
anything, tell her not to do il, and she'll do
it certain, | could not stand the temptation
The secret was there. l wanted to know it.
| opened the door and out popped the tarnel
eritter right into my face. | thought the
devil had me, and | broke for the stairs with
the devil hutting me at every jump fell
over the tub and got down the stairs, as you
found us, all in a heap"
but, madam, " said the door-keeper, "you
are in possession of-the great secret of the
Order, and must go up and be initiated
sworn, AMI then 60 in the regular way.
Regular way - exclaimed the lady, "and
do you suppose | am going near the tarnel
place again and ride that ar critter without
a bride or iady's saddle? No! l don't
want nothing TO do with the man that rides
it. I'd look nice perched on billy goat
wouldn't /? No, never! I'll never go nigh
it again, nor your hall nuther-ifI l can pre-
vent it no lady shall ever join the Odd Eel
lows. Why I'd sooner be Free Mason ard
be broiled on a gridiron as long as fire could
be kept under it. and pulled from garrett to
cellar, with a halter. in "A pair eff old brecches
and slippers. Just as my poor dear husband
was. And he hved over it. | never could
live over such another ride as took to-day"