The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1869-07-23

it spurned the administrator and SC
on, they became cool.
"Ef Roseerans hez RELY come tC
us, | sed, ''let US open our arms and
take him in"
They retired not pleased, but in
sieh a state that l hey no doubt the
heft nv EN-. will vote, ez yoosual, an
unscratehed tickit. They took down
Micklelan; why not Rosecrans
That mite, after l retired to my
virchus couch, l fell unto a troubled
sleep, and dreemed. The dreem wich
/ afflicted me wuz more instructive than
entertainin.
Methawt the Dimoerisy NY Ohio
wuz in council, seekin for leeder in
/ the comm confiek. They trotted
out in review, all Nv EN-, but they
couldn't find man in the party who
was not so fearfully defective ez to be
totally and entirely wOrthlis for the
posishun. Vallandygum Wuz ez
spotted ez a leper; Ranney was tinged
with the rather advanced Dimocrisy
Nv 1868, and the other men spoken
NV wuz full Nv politikle ulcers, biles
and running sores. The menshun Nv
their names made the people hold
their noses. One more wise than the
rest, in fit Nv inspirashun sung out
"Rosecrans p' and the ice hit 'em.
Rosecrans wuz trotted out and they
all fell to admirin him. He wuz we'll
bilt and comfy, and biz fgger showd
strength and endoorahce. He wuz
encased into glitterin coat Nv bloc
onto wich shone the most gorgus de-
corashen wich Good be conceived. In
letters Nv lite Nv exceedin brilliancy
wuz the words "West Virginy, u"
"Stone River "Iuky," and ''Chica-
mauga, with the names Nv other
achievements more or less notorious,
and these deeorashens with his ep-
aulettes, military sash and sword,
spurs and sich, enveloped him from
head to foot in brilliancy the gor-
geousnis Nv wich wuz beyond com
pare. The managers Nv the show
wioh trotted him out squinted at these
things mint, but they squinted
more pertikelerly at the multitOod
wich surrounded them, to see the eff
feck Wich it perdoost upon EN-, they
slidin out nv site ez he adyanst, so
that they woodent obstruct the view.
The site took the people-ther rose
up from the throng most enthoosi
astic cheer, and hats went up into. the
air by thousands.
"Itll dol it'll dol Thank the Lord
it'll doI'' shouted the managers, and
they immejitly fell to embracin him
in their extacy. VaIlandigum fell
onto his neck, but the spot where his
hands struck the General obliterated
"West Virginy;" another delegates
paw blotted out "Stone River" and
the next embrace bustid "Iuka,"
Chicamauga," and the rest Nv it. An
anshent delegate from Holmes coun-
ty, which had taken an active part in
the resistance to drafts, silly drawd
his sword and thew it away, another
delegate hacked off his spurs; third
snaked orf his epilets, and before the
poor fellow knew wat wuz bein done
to him, they he'd gobbled pretty much
all Nv the ornaments wich he'd glitter
cd so brayely onto him.
'Don't-for Hevens sake, don't,
ejackilatid one who wuz a candidate
for county offs in a close county.
"Wat are you doin ?"
"These things must come orf Nv
him to make him acceptable to our
people," and they eagerly stripped
orr one thing after another.
"Git out NV the way, tbere!" shou-
ted another party comm up, "put
these resolooshens onto him and he's |
ready"
They clapped EN- over him-he
staggered and gasped, but managed |
to stand up,
"For Heven's sake!' he said in.
pleadin' tone, "for Heavens sake take |
this OFF"
"Impossible" returned them Wieh |
he'd the matter in hand, aYou'r all
rite newsstand aside all Nv 700 and
see how the people take him now.
They stood aside, but to their sur
prise the people turned up their no
ses ez though they smelt sEthin, and
hissed ominously instid Nv cheer
in.
"Show US our Rosecrans," they
cried.
aThis is ROsecrans r'replied VAL
landygum, putin his arm round his
neck affectionately.
"We don't know him in them
clothes and in sich company return
ed the multitood, leavin in disgust.
In my dreem, the managers, when |
they saw the multitood treat their
man SO skornfully, fell to revilin Nv
him and kickin and cufin NV him. l
awoke jist ez he wuz a tryin to glt
away, battered, bruised, besmeared
and besmiched.
I thought, ez lay ponderin on the
vision, that possibly, when a sojer
trades his military repetashen for
nomenashen at our hands that it does
strike the people jist ez tho he he'd
traded uniforms doorin the strug-
gle, and that possibly the specelashen
won't pay either him or us. But
wat kin we do?
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
Wich wuz Post Master.
Daniel Websters's Fright.
No situation more perfectly paVes