The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
THE LAWYERS AND THE CATS.

THE LAWYERS AND THE CATS.
Two Arkansas lawyers were domes-
ticated in the rude hotel of country
town. The hotel was crowded, and
the room allotted to our two heroes
was also occupied by six or eight 9TH
ers. Shake down beds, enough to ac-
commodate the guests, were disposed
about the room, against the four walls,
leaving an open space in the centre Of
the apartment,
Judge Clark lay with his head to the
north, on one side, and Judge Thomas
lay with his head 10 the south, on the
other side of the room. So far as that
room was concerned, it might be said
that their heads represented the north
and south poles, respectively.
All the other beds in the room were
occupied. The central part of the
room was deemed neutral ground
in which the occupants of the differ
ent beds had equal rights. Here, in
picturesque confusion. lay the boots,
hats, coats and breeches of the sleep
ers. There were no windows, and
though the door was open, there being
no moon, the night was very dark in
that room.
The willy lawyers, who had been OPP
posing counsel in case tried in the
town court that day, and had opposed
each other with the contumacity of
wild pigs, were now the very incarna-
tions of meekness, for when the hum
cry swarm of mosquitoes settled down
and bit them on the one cheek, they
slowly turned the 9th to be bitten
also.
But hush bark
A deep sound strikes the ear like
rising knell.
"BIe-oW-oWin
Judges Clark and Thomas were
wide awake, and sitting bolt upright
in an instant.
Again the startling cry:
"Ye-ow, ye.owr'
"There's a id cat" whispered
Clark.
"Scat, your hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these de-
monstrations, but gave vent to anoth-
er howl.
"Qh, Lord !" cried Clark, II can't
stand this ! Where is she, Thomas ?"
son your side of the room some
where" replied Thomas.
"No, she is on your side" said Clark,
'.Ye-oW -ow-ow !''
"There, / told you she was on your
side,' they exclaimed in one breath.
And still the "yowl" went on.
The idea now entered the head of
both the lawyers, that by the exercise
of certain strategy they might be en-
abled to execute certain flank move
ment on the cat, and totally demoral-
lie him. Practically each determined
to file "a motion to quash" the cats
attachment for that room.
Each kept the plan to himself, and
in the dark, unable to see each other,
prepared for action.
Strange as 1t may appear, 1t is new
ertheless true, that the same plan sug-
gested itself to both. In words, the
plan was about as follows
The yowler is evidently looking and
calling for another cat with whom he
has made an appointment. ! will inn
itate cat, and this cat will think
t'other cats around. This cat will
come toward me, and when he shall be
in reach, I'll blaze away with any
thing can get hold of, and knock the
mew-sic out of him.
So each of the portly judges, noise
lessly as cream comes to the surface OF
the milk, hoisted himself onto his
hands and knees, hippopotamus fash
ion, and advanced to the neutral
ground occupying the central part Of
the room.
Arriving there, Judge Clark selec-
ted boot-j jack, and Judge Thomas a
heavy cow-hide boot, from the head,
and settled themselves down to the
work.
Clark tightened his grip on the boot
jack, throwing up his head, gave vent
to prolonged and unearthly "Ye-ow-
ow !" that would have reflected credit
upon ten of the largest kind of cats.
"Aha," thought Thomas, who wa:
not six feet away, she's Immediately
close around. Now I'll inveigle him y
and he gave the regular dark nigh
call Of feminine cat.
Each of the judges now advanced 6
/ little closer, and Clark produced ques
tioning, "Ow-ow ~
Thomas answered by re-assurine
"Pur-ow pur-ow !" and they advan
ced little more.
They e:ere now within easy reach
and each imagining the cat had but !
moment more to live, whaled away
the one with his boot, the other with
his boot.jack.
The boot took Clark square in th'
month, denolishing his teeth, and the
boot-jaek came down on Thomas balt