davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
!, IOWA. FRIDAY, AUGUST 20. 1869.

paid. The congregation was standing on
his entrance, aud trained choir was sing-
ing an anthem. He was shown into pew
and gentleman already there passed along
the hymn book. when he discovered that the
choir was singing passage from Shaks>
peare, "lhe cloud capped towers, the gor>
geous palaces" etc. As soon as this sing
ing was done the preacher. Rev. Mr.. Fox,
arose and said: "The subject Of our dis
course to>dsy will be the life and character
of Sir Thomas Browne He went on for
M hour, witho manuscript of any kind,
giving forth critique upon the celebrated
writer, so finished and learned, that it might
have been taken down, word for word, aud
published in one Of the quarterly reviews,
but there was not a scrap Of religion iu it
from beginning to end. When he closed
the discourse he gave notice that the subject
for the next Sabbath would be "The char
acier of solomon which was at least more
scripturai, and then the congregation was
dismissed.
AS they left the pew Professor Kingsley
said to his ncighbor, Don't you have pray
ers here p "Oa, YES" was the reply. "we
have short prayer, think, at the opening,
NJ it was over before YOU came IN As lie
neared the door, the doorkecper, who was
cycling him closely. came up and said, ''that
shilling you gave me was counterfeit" j" "No,
it was not" said Professor Kingsley, 81
took it from The bank yesterday. But com.
terHeit or no counterfeit, it is as good as the
kind Of preaching vOu have here"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
A mystery Cleared Up.
From the Cleveland Hera,


Ex Secretary Stanton had an interview with
Secretary Fish yesterday -.Sensation 1eie-
gram of Associated Press.
subject of it was Warts.
Ex>Secretary Stanton said that when he
WAS boy he had sixteen on his left hand,
one or two on bis right thumb, and one on
his elbow. He said he used to always hunt
for old hollow stumps with r lin water stand
ing ii! them To soak his warts in.
Secretary. Fish said he had millions ot
warts when he was boy, and some.ipe,
ne split bean and tied it over wart, and
'heh took THAI bean and buried it in the
cress, roads iat midnight IN the dark of the
moOu.
Ex>Secretary Stanton said he had tried
that but 1t Lever worked.
Secretary T sh said he could not remem,
ber that it worked-he only remembered
trying it good many times, ana in the
most unquessioning good fsi,h.
tx Secretary Stanton said his usual plan
WAS 10 run needle through the wart and
then hold the end of the needle in the can.
die till il warmed that wart to ,iat depre.
that it would never take an interest IN The
worlds follies and vanilies any more for.
ever.
Secretary Fish said be thought likely he
was the wartiest boy that ever
At This inorportune moment ex Secretary
Stanton carriage was announced, and he
arose and took his leave. The next Assoc
ciated Press dispatch that distressed the
people through the columns Of every single
newspaper in America read as follows:
THE subject of the interview between
ex>Secretary Stanton and Secretary Fist
has not transpired. There are various fy'
ing rumors. 1t is generally believed tha
it referred to the Alabama question, and was
very important"
And yet they were only talking about
Warts.
Hereafter when l see vague. dreadfal AS
sociated Press dispatches stating that Jones
called on the Secretary of the Interior last
night, or Smith had All interview with the
Attorney General, or Brown was closeted
with the President until late hour yes,e.
day evening, shall not be so terrified as !
used TO be. | shall feel certain that they
were only talking about Warts, or something
like that They can never fire my in,eres,
again with ore of those dispatches, unless
they state what the interview was about.
MARK TWAIN
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
Too sharp by Half.

An enterprising business man Of this
city runs TWO branches Of trade, to wit: a
grocery aud fish market. The grocery
he rms himself, the fish market ~ deputy
and every nigh, the latter max returns Of
the prcc .eds Of the days business to the pro-
prietGr.
A day or two since the grocer found il his
fish market returns counterfeit five dollar
bill. He didn't like to lose it, and he didnr
quite want to take the chances of trying tt
pass il. So he call an old darkey who wa.
har l,lng about the premises, ard said tc
him:
sam. here's Eve dollsr bill that's q
little doubtful. If you will take il and pas,
It, III give you dollar out of the change
Very WELL" said Sam, and he took tbs
bill and went off. Later in the day he re
turned, having accomplished the feat, ant
handed over tour dollars in good money Il
tie grocer.
Tha. night tbs grocer, in counting owe
the cash returns from his fish market, va,
more surprised than delighted to fad the
IDENTICAL five in the pile.
Look here" said he sharply, to bis mar
ket clerk, " here's a counterfeit bill-shG
did YOU take il of? Didn't you knov it was
had?"
Clerk took it and looked at it for mo
mett.
"Oh, yes said he, remember now;
took it Of Sam, the darkey. thought il
was little doubtful, and wasn't going to
take, il but he said be got j, OF youso though,
it was all right
Further explanation was unnecessary
Hartford Post.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
-
The story OF a Physic!an.

An eminent physician, in EeGrth and
Home, tells the following excellent story
fer the benefit OF young mothers. He sNys:
"An intelligent young mother inquired
some devs since how she could best preserve
her child's linen clean and sweet wien
changed frequently during the day. di-
reci.d her never to d-v il hy the ire. but IN
the sun and open air if the weather permits
ted. Yon thus rot only avoid sntnrating
the air of your room with the volatile and
poisonous gases driven out Of the linen, hut
The suns rays have powers Of cleansing
and disiniecting. which artiiicia! heat has
not, and will purify aud preserye the linen.
She followed my directions, but es is too of
ten II. practice, dried and sired It in the
nursery window. Her fastidioss husband
demonstrated in vain against this unseemly
exposure. Believing that if she saw her
practice. as others saw it, she would des:s,,
he so directed their afternoon walk IS to
bring the nurscry>window in fnl. view
from central part of the town. Storoing
abruptly, ne pointed to the offending linen
Aappling conspicuous!y in the breeze. and
asked sarcastically "My dear, what is
that displayed frou, our window y "Why,'
she promptly replied, "that is the flag Of
our Unionl'' Conquered by this pungent
retort, be salnted the Gag with swing Of
his hrs, and pressing his wife's arm closer
within his own, said, as they walked home
ward, And long it wave"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
a Goose Race.

Over two thousand people gathered on
the banks above the pond and along the low
or end of Farnham street, on yesterday af
ternoon, to witness Bob Hart and Sully in
their great wash-tub>goose feat Promptly
at the advertised time, Hart made his ap.
pesrauce, followed hy his competitor for
the golden peanut offered by Col. Hanford.
Each sat in an ordinary wash-tub, to which
was attached six pairs Of geese, driven and
guided with an ordinary carriage whip. The
most dea.ening applause, shouts and yells
greeted the contestants as they were towed
in'o the pond. Striking the Faruham street.
bank, both started side by side, talking to
and urging on the feathered racers the same
as E jockey would do in trial of speed
amongst horses.
Half away cross the pond Su'ly's team
switched off and bolted for the weeds. Civ
ing Bob the lead by hree and "A half lengths.
Recovering his course. Suily made splendid
headwav. gaiaing rapidly on the Hart ont.
fit. One Of his geese, however, attempting
to dive, and kicked rear goose in the eye.
The kicked bird at once eackled his deh>
ance, and soon demoralized the entire team
to such an extent that victory was imposs>
bic.
Hart would have come in go. K" only
for bis wheel geese" banking badly and
upscting the tub. Sully began laughing at
his opponents disaster, when his team made
sudden flank movement. left the driver
foundering in the mud. Tho assembled
multitude yel!e dthe iouae. at the accidents.
Righting their crafts, both parties made tor
shore, leading their teams.
Bob took the prize Omaha Rcpubts>
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

PES>Y>DARRAN, Wales, is chiefly remark.
able ior It's connection with the first tram
way, for which an act of Parliment was
obtained in 1903 for the first locomotive
ever tred-t.nd with the able Inventor,
Treye.hick, who there made bis first essay.
The first run of the locomotive occurred in
FEBRUARY, s0+. Previously there had been
Whisper in the scientific world of the uce
OF sienm and OF its employment in propelI>
ing vehicles, aud aborliye attempts having
been frequent. Samuel Hom.ray by some
means was Brought into connection with
Trevethick, and the result vas that this
aUle but eccentric man visited Methyr, and
il coui Junction with se!i-taught mechanic.
one Rees Jones whose homeiy portrait can
he $. en- in The kensngion Museum, begau
to build his locomotive. Building is not al
inappropriate word in this case, for the
stack WAS actually built up of bricks the
same as an ordinary chimney, ad the
whole affair was peculiarly odd. Tie stack
was tail and clumsy, the body dwar!ed,
perched on a high framework, so as to ap
proximate to the spider fashion the cylin>
der, in addition, was upright; the piston
worked downwards, and at ever revolution
CT the wheels there WAS a monsrous clang
produced, which, heard now>a-days with
the asthma,ic puts Of steam, would provoke
the gruvest mechanician TO laughter
When completed Homtray introduced his
friend Richard Crawshay to the novelty,
doubtless much to that individuals amuse>
mtni, certainly to his incredulity as to its
being fit tor anything, for he readily ac>
cep,ed wage with Homfray for { 600,
mnip,aining that it would not convey load
Of iron from pen-y>darran to the nayiga>
ton-a distance of rue miles. The event
iu day arrived for the trial, and never had
there been so much excitement. The stur-
dy Euglishmen were there, and natives
from every Welsh county lined the read,
aud mounted every eminence that cons
manded tie tramway: aid when Treye
thick jumped on his iron steed. and began
slowly 10 move ouwards amidst changing
iron ana putting steam. The uproai was
terrific. BY the arrangements made, no
one was allowed TO assist the daunt!ess Cors
nishman, ard for a time he Did not seem to
want it. Surrounded by a host he passed
down The valley, making shout five miles
per hour, when sad misfortune happened
the clumsy sllth GAME III coitatt Win
bridge and was ruined Trevethick stood
for Il moment amongst his bricks, but only
moment. Fertile in resource, he was
soon SCANNING onward again, and not only
conveyed his load to TIE navigation, hut a
crowd of exul,ant passengers along with it.
who, to their latest days, prided themselves
on their glorious ride. 1t was fortunate
for Homtray that the wager was loose
one. The iron was taken down and the
bet won; but Trevs,hck failed to bring
his empty train back, and for some time
The new invention as u mode of. transport
remained in abeyance.-London Engineer.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
COLLEGE FUN.
Anecdotes 0H Two Dartmouth Pres
fesSs IN. \

At the Dartmouth alumni meeting. I'D
other day, Rev. Thomas Adams, Of Id
class Of 1914, tod funny little auecdete,
and, being himself rather n funny maa.s
told it very neatly.
It related to Two of tho old profess<s ],
Adams and Shurtleff, very dissinllar, 81
both most admirabl. men. Professor d>
ans WAS a very precise man, as bee. "a ,
professor of ma'heL ntics to he. Sbur:kf'
was more free and easy, nervous, excijs.
Bile man, as full of wit as OF sense, and 10.
markabiy quick at repartee.
1t had become sort OF standing Joke
among the students, that Prof. Adams
took more care of his feet than of hs head;
while Prof. ShurtleH. of course, WAS quite
The opposite, and cared more for Ills head
than his feet. And It was said, that if YOU
called these men suddenly out doors, ono
would be sure, first, 10 pull on his boots
and 90 out bareheaded while the other
"oald be quite as sure to clap on his hat
ana 60 out barefooted. Prof Adams heard
ol tn. college Jest, and one day said 10
Shlirtleif: 80 il seems, brother ShurtlefF.
lha IN the Judgement of the students, your
head and my egs are respectively our weak.
ct parts" NO" -e.orted Shurtletr. "bu,
our most sensible paris, vou meaprs
This reminded an old algmnus Of a coup-
le Of little incidents, in which hoth the ven.
cradle and excellent professors came off
rather second best.
Prot. Shurtleff at one time had the care.
of a monomanac by the name Of Increase
kimbsll, u very shrewd, troublesome, but
entirely harmless old man, who took snuff
pretty freely, which Shurtletf occasionally
took spariugly. On certain Sunday In>
crease called on the Professor to lsy before
him his great want Of co,hing, or seme-
thing of the kind. The Professor WAS lust
going to church. and could not be bothered
with the poor man Just then; and so be told
him be could not attend 10 big worldly af.
fairs on Sunday. This did not satisfy In.
crease: but nevertheless he rose to 70, and
as he did so, TO: k ont his sDutf-bos for
pinch Of comfort. Noticing the act the
Professor reached his thumb and finger TO.
ward the box, saying: I'll take pinch.
Increase" mo rejoined Increase, "you
dan't do worldly business on Sundav:"
clapped his box into his pocket and was
of.
On certain public examination which
Professor Adams was conducting, a Boa.
ton boy was Little bothered for an answer.
when one Of his friends behind reached for.
ward to prompt him. The quick eye and
ear Of the Professor detected the action
and he Immediately called ont in tis-auick,f
incisiTe way-"No telling !" and the both>
cred boy as quickly retorted-"I know, sir
hut can't tell, which Immediately brought
down the house, and the good old Professor
with it.-Boston T,areler.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
From the New YORK Tribune.
Celestial Giant,

T. The couuting,room Of the Tribune was
visited Yesterday morning By An Asiate
gentleman of such remarkable altitude tha,
All the loungers in Printing House Square
crowded in or clustered around the doors
in hopes Of catching glimpse OF his giants
ship. Tn,s extraordinary Individual halls
from Foo-chno. in China. and reloices in
the lrysylable appeilation of Chang>woo>
Cow. lie has been exhibited in Europe
during The past four years. and was very
handsomely entertained by Queen Victoria
and the Emperor Napoleon, and he has
been the recipient Of many valuable press
ents. He arrived in New York on Thurs-
day Of last week, in the steamship Denmark,
from Liverpool, accompanied by his msns>
ger, Mr.. Garrett, of Norwich, England, and
his wife, kingtoo, lady of ordinary stature
aad very pleasing presence. Chang is y
wears old, and about eight feet six inches in
height, and his father he says, was even
taller than himself. Hespeaks both French
and English 3luently, and has decidedly
intelligent coun.enance. His face is per>
iectly smooth, and his physiognomy be,rays
his nationality. He was attired, yesterday,
in an ordinary summer suit Of gray, and
sported stylish black hat; but when on
exhibition both he and bis wife wear. the
Chinese costume, and display stock Of
Asintic curiosities, concerning which they
give much interesting information. Chang's
weight, although be Is slenderly rather than
stou,ly built, is $50 pounds, and hAs caused
many amusing accidents. At one time ne
was riding in London cab With Z Tartar
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

SELECTING Foop.-Women never think
of committing the purchase Of their dry
goods dresses, cloaks, bonnets, or even the
u,nterial for childrens clothes. to Bridget +;
they would not even trust the judgment
Of ,he MERCHANT they insist upon seeing
colors, selecting patterns. and judging of
texture for themselves. Why are they not
equally interested in the proper selecting and
purchase Of food? Clothing is to be sure,
displayed upon the body, but food enters
directly into its composition; .nd that the
kind end quelity exercise an almost meals
cnahle influence upon its formation, aud
also upon the mind and character, verv
lttlc reflection will suffice to show. A tenn
peraIe. healthy, well>digestcd diet promotes
beauty; it produces clearress of complex
ion, regulates organic action, and preserves
freshness, vieor, and elasticity till late in
lne.-Jennie June.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

New POSTAGE STAMP.-Some genius be-
just invented new self canceling postage
stamp. The paper upon which the stamp.
head is printed is first wet in a cheap chsu,>
zeal solution. The stamp is then gummed
and perforated as formerly. When pur>
chased the stamp is moistencd as usual, and
attached to the letter. Bn. when the pest
office clerk takes up the letter to sort it from
others for different States, on his rigfs
thumb is cot on which is sponge wiisrl =
feeder, which is soaked in another chemical
solution, kept secret for governmental res,
sons. As the clerk takes hold of the letter
TO throw it aside, his thumb comes in con.
tact with the stamp, and instantaneous com,
binaiion takes place, and delacemens
comes out, much superior to the present
Ink. This cancellation can only affect TIE
stamp which it is prepared, for if the thumb b
wet the envelope, it dries off without any
mark. By a similar process revenue stamps
are prepared. The stamp presents the same
appearance as the present one, having only
been soaked in the prepared water previous
10 printing; then. when dry, q coating Of
gum is applied over stencil plate, leaving
the words paid" ''canceled," ~. S." or
any Of their equivalents. When the stamp
is run through the perforator, it also passes
through two buffers, where powdered pre-
para,ion is rolled in. When wanted for use,
By wetting the stamps as formerly, the sa>
Iva acts rs an agent. combines the two pre-.
parations, and Immediately black bar, OF
the words paid" "U. S. come out ber.,
manently cancellns tie s.amp and doing
away with the tedious and annoying prac-
tice now emf reed, of putting ones initiala
on the stamp.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20
From the N. Y. World, Aug. 2.

From the N. Y. World, Aug. 2.
The last sensation made bv the enterpri.
sing Mr.. James Fisk, Jr, Comptroller of
the Erie Railway, is the undertaking of
plan by which it is proposed to make the
line of the Erie Raj way, fronie>,he foot Of
Chambers street aud Twenty third street IN
Buffalo and Dunkirk, an unbroken belt Of
light all through the dark nights. both in
| summer and winter. The Bergen tunnel is
to be 50 brilliantly illuminated day and
| night that upon a lowering day the eyes Of
the passengers will be almost blinded as the
| train emerges fro,n the mouth OF the tunnel,
owing TO the difference between the bright
light OF the tunnel and the dull rays of the
| sun. The means to be adopted to carry out
tf,is great plan, and thus precluding the pos
slbiiily OF any further accidents on the road
on account Of darkness, is in the application
| OF the electric light to every locomotive on
the line, and stationary lights a. the ferries,
in the tunnel. and at dangerous curves
along the route. The attention of the Erie
Gomp.nv was frs. called to consider this
scheme By Mr. i. C. Morse, and Mr. Fisk
al once authorized him to go 10 work and
see what could be done. Mr.. Morse there's
upon commenced 10 make arrangements for
the manufacture of a large number Of the
electric lamps at Jersey City, and he Is quite
confident that within three months he will
have Erie al ablaze.
Mr.. Morse elains to have made several
valuable discoveries and improvements in
connection with the electric light. One in>
vention claimed by him is the self SUSTAIN
Iufr t,nt nu.l nrptinr a ta,ioo
king the carbon points, used to give the
electric light, burn for months without was
ting away. This electric light, il is said BY
those who have experimental with ii, will
cast a shadow behind an opaque body at a
distance Of ten miles. But when Jared by
the motion Of the locomotive, the intensity
OF the light is diminished. The light will
illumine the track for three miles ahead,
however, so that where the road is straight,
the engineer can discern any object at that
distance. BY another ingenious device, the
electricity used to run the lamps will be col>
lected by the friction of the wheels as the
trains are in motion. Two lamps will be
used for lighting Bergen tunnel. with one in
the middle. as ;hefunnel is not straight, but
curves. Other lamps will then be stationed
at each cniepf Pavonia ferry, which will
thraw a broad ket Of light scross the North
RIVER every night, to guide the traveller safe
y to bis home in the metropolis. These
lights will, it is said, be so-intense, that on
lie darkest Ioggv night there will be no dan
ger Of col sion on tie water any more than
~ the daytime. Still more. it is proposed
to fiji Twenty.third street every night with
q food Of white light from the North river
to the Fifth Avenue Hotel, SO that travellers
q, the heart Of the metropolis may at all
tines be reminded Of the broad and happy
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

California Girls I'm tho 1osemloev

4 CORRESPONDENT Of the San FrancisAva
Chronicle. writing from the Yosemite vak
ley, SAYS that he yields the palm to women
for hardhood aud endurance as explorers.
ihet climb higher, ride harder, ge. wetter.
scream louder, eat more turkey, and drink
more stimulant than most men. You
should lave there seen, he says our San
Francisco schoolmisiresses ride! Riding
their horses over bogs, in bogs, dow,
precipices, across rivers. astride. man fash.
ion, pantaloons hair aying-thus did this
branch Of the public schools Departments
depo-t themselves. They burst their con.
ven,ionaltes. The inner spirit of femininity,
crushed and smo,hered as it is by the com
vent'onal,y of the city, is entirely free in
the valley. As for the men. blush for nv
sex. They crert along after those girls
like lot OF old cows. In plotting the girls
about. they got lost and remained lost. We
met one wet and dismal wretch coming out
Of tie storm Of mist, jus, above the vcrnal
Fails. He had become partly dementea By
the ~hirl and uproar through which he had
passed. During the period of our observa.
tonshe did nothing bat merge and emerge. in
aim'ess goings and comings after the girls,
through that chrcnic rain> storm.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

A LONE Niger During the war
" contra5and' came into the Federal lines
in North Carolina, and was marched up to
the officer OF the day to give an account Of
himself. whereupon the following colequy
ensuea:
:" What's yonr name?"
my names Sam"
Sam what?"
"No, SAT-, not Sam Watt, l'se iist Sam"
"Whst's your other name?'
'' hasn't got no other name, sab. Ise
Sam. da,'s ell
What's your masters nams?
I'sc got no massa: rsssss ruined away;
yah, yah! Use free uigger now.
Now what's your fathers and mothers
mama o.
Use got none, sal neher had none- 1'ss
list Sam--ain't nobody else
Haven't you ans brothers aud sisters ?s'
"No, sab. Nehsr none. No hrudder, no
sister, no fiddler, no mudder, no massa.
no'hin' but Sam, When you see Sam, you
sea sll lere is OF US a.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-08-20

CovLpN'T Fool HiN--An old friend,
who restless about mile and hal: from
tie ci,T. going out home the other evening
noticed that during his absence in the city.
scme f7s;>class artist, not perfectly versed
in photography, had painted upon the side
of his barn. in letters abont two fee, long.
tne word "ALLrIXB' The old man stops
ped, and surveying the heroclyphics few
moments exclaimed: "All Pine! All
pine Blassedi they car tool msin that way.
built that barn mysesii, and know every
confounded stick in il is cottonwood ~
st Joseph Ga-etts.