The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-12
Senatorial small Bills.

Among the most interesting subject!
OF study, now within the popular reach
is the report of the incidental expenses
of the Senate of the United States foI
1868. In showing up the habits, tastes
and character of our potent Senators, it
furnishes the most valuable, if not the
most startling information, and in sug-
gesting salutary, sober thoughts to the
tax paying constituents of these conso-
quential law-tinkers, it cannot fail to
produce an excellent effect. Take few
items, FOR example, from tho little bills
incurred during the continuance of that
costly nuisance, tho impeachment Trial.
We quote: For AZ prs white cotton
gloves, (police) $500" This of course
can't be objected to. Even the guardi-
aus of the Senatorial peace can't touch
pitch without beiug defled, and to save
them the trouble of washing their
hands after "daily contact with the
things men loathe," their delicate digits
must be encased in cotton, at public
expense. Next come "4 boxes lemons
at SO per box, $500" Remember
that the Senate was at this
time seuring on the President at q rapid
rate, and cxtraneous aid was called in
to assist the fermentation. To the gull,
BILE it was nothing more hurtful than lem
ou-did, beverage which in all critical
times in the history of legislation is in
Idispensable, and especially during the
pendency of case like that of the Im.
peachment. 1t was needed to give the
proper tone to the epigastriCs Of Sem
atOrs, and though the quantity may
seem somewhat extravagant, still "their
great revenge had stomach for it all"
Nothing could be more natural
than that "l9l pounds of crushed sugar
at 10 cents per pound" should follow
hard upon the aforesaid ~ boxes
of lemons" From this combina-
tiOn the public may catch glimpse of
the multitudinous punches whcrewith
the friends of freedom manufactured
courage and inspiration for the great
duty of removing the arch traitor at
the other end of the avenue. True, no
suspicion of the vital element of that
famous tipple has yet been given ont,
but there is little risk in presuming its
presence when Senatorial necessities de.
mard such liberal supply of the acid
and sacGhrine already mentioned.
Leaving the punch in o promising
process of preparation, the account SEN
atorial introduces pleasant episode in
the shape of al box honey soap, eng.
lish) $500; gallon cologne, $500;
dozen flesh brushes, 5000" Hero let us
suspend all hostile critisism. Having
surprised the Senate almost in the act
OF cleansing its dingy carcass, let no,
body complain that the ablutions are
performed ut the public expense. Pos.
sibly they would not be washed at all
unless the people footed the bill. Then
permit the outside ef the cup to be made
clean, evan if within there
is rOttenneSs and corruption
Utter no word of complaint about III,
cologne. Conceive, if possible, the eff
feet of the native, original fragrance
upon your Olfactories, and hold YOU
peace, even if you scent high taxes il
the purchased perfumery OF the dev
IFS annointed. Either to complete
their a6lutions, or to perfect theil
punch, the potent Senators next insist
upon 1.-TWO gallons bay rum and bottle
$3.50" Possibly we ought not to read
"Old Jamaica for ebay" let us give
them the benefit of the doubt, and con.
fess that the Senate has not yet owned
up to a deliberate drunk. We stand
aghast at the next item, at dozen shaw.
ing brushes, $f2.O0," and while we won.
der at the impudence which turns the
Senate into barber-shop, we console
ourselves with the reflection that while
they were shaving hemselves they
may possibly have abstained for a while
from shaving the country.
For the sake OF Senatorial sobriety we
would fain suppress the next item, "5
gallons alcohol, $25.O0.' This is the in
evitable completeness of the supplies be-
aforementioned, and savors strongly of a