The Shasta courier., 1869-05-01
The Story of a Chicago Kiss.

A very looking, slender, innocent
appearing girl was " brought up" yesterday
in company with young man who looked
vastly ashamed of himself, and had the
expression of "one who wants to go home" "
The charge against Julia and Percy was a
very ugly one. The officer stated that he
had seen Percy enter her room, had waited
patiently with his ear at the door till he
heard kiss, and then, breaking it open,
had found him with his arms around her
neck. The officer was praised for his
vigilance in the detection of contraband
kisses, that seducingly dangerous article,
and will, doubtless, arrest the next young
man he sees blowing kisses at Pocohontas
at the door of a cigar shop. The Justice
looked at Miss Julia through his spectacles,
and it seemed as if his hard judicial glances
underwent the same chemical change as
they passed through the glass-became
polarized, if you please-and suggested to
her the propriety of explaining her conduct
not that it would make any difference,
but then it was well to follow the way of
the world. Miss Julia then proceeded to
inform his honor that short time before
she had been left motherless, and was
thrown upon her own resources. She bad
no husband, and saw the way to none.-
She did not like to sew; she did not want
to spoil her hands with hard work for a
hand once enlarged is not susceptible of
reduction. A large hand was bad habit,
which one could not easily get rid of. But
her wits were good, and by them she pro-
posed to live, and if possible transmute the
vaSrant humors of her brain into cake and
clothes. After thinking temporarily
expensive process, since it led to the pawn
ing of some of her clothes-she came to a
determination. She reasoned that whatever
men might be when associating with one
another, they were frequently great fools
when brought into contact with women
Yet she did not believe that this folly was
ingram, but that it was for the lack of
knowing better. Then she went a step
further, and assumed that these men would
like to know better, and were foolish enough
for lack Of one to teach them otherwise
She had the wisdom they needed, and they
had the money she needed why should
there not be an exchange? The work was
noble one, for he or she who uproots fol
ly is nobler than he or she who destroys
thousand Canada thistles To make known
her intentions, she felt that she must ad-
vertise. So this young alchemist turned
couple of skirts and some other trifes
into dollar, procured handkerchiefs
worth of paper, and thus advertised
stating that young lady of polished ad-
dress, reduced circumstances, and former
social advantages, desired to give lessons
in etiquette, and the way of conversing
with ladies, to any young gentleman who
did not feel at ease in the society of the
opposite sex Tuition to lovers extra
The advertisement was success. She
saw young men who were at lack of
feminine topics, ignorant of the nice con-
duct Of the hands and the proper place of
the feet. She had made money, and,
waxing fat in prosperty, had cut her old
friends, the pawnbrokers, after returning
their little visiting cards. There was re-
demption. One day Percy came along
He said he was courting West Side
maiden, aud that unhappily he did not get
along as fast as he desired. He was still
miles from a proposal. He knew she ex-
pected it, and kEew he wanted to do it !;
but he could not. He had walked to her
house, repeating to himself: will pro-
pose tonight" but after getting there he
would find that man may propose to pro-
pose, but that God still disposes. Hence
tears, agony, hair-pulling, and the quotation
of select passages from approved tragic
poets. Standing before mirror, he in
formed himself that he was pigeon-livered
and lacked gall, which was relief but not
proposal. Thus he went to Julia for aid,
and the needy, who had money, never ap-
piled to that disinterested girl in vain
She taught him the lore of proposal-not
the one by letter, for that she spurned
"like any girl of spirit" She instructed
him in the abrupt, the gradual, the peca-
tory, the fearful, the labial, the /" cottage
with love-" and the opera and diamonds
proposals, to say nothing Of special ones,
which may be made in horse and buggy,
behind the organ, or at the dinner table.
They were rehearsing one of these forms
when an officer, gentleman of course, but
who needed little instruction as to the