The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1869-03-24
portrp.
(From the Crawford County ForunO
CAPTAIN GRANT OF THE MULE
BRIGADE.

I'm Captain Grant, of the Mule Brigade,
A tanner of hides L was by trade,
Till at West Point a cadet | was made,
To cut u swell in the army.
/ rode with a monkey round the ring,
Round the Ring,
Round the Ring
/ rode with a monkey round the ring
Before 1 went to the army.
SPoKEN.-One day when the monkey, the
mule and myself, were out on furlow, we
all three got drunk, and cut a swell in New
York china shop. There being no one to
introduce US, the store keeper took offence,
and had court martial called, which wrote
me letter, in a neat envelop, thus:
Dear Captain Grant, of the Mule Brigade,
Return at once to the tanners trade:
You are not fit, the court is afraid,
To cut a swell in the army!
Then off my shoulders came my straps,
My buttons all fell from my flaps
l began 20 think myself perhaps
wasn't cut out for the armyi
1 next hauled wood crowbaits drove,
Crowbaits 1 drove
CroWbaits drove
Which very clearly seemed to prove
l wasn't cut out for the armyl
SPoKEN.-Then, thank the gods, John
Browns war for the Union broke out; and
Honest ABRAHAM wanted soldiers Riffraff
was at a premium. Decayed tapsters and
serving men, thieves, gamblers, bankrupts,
loafers, confidence men, convicts, lunatics,
Diggers, and cashiered cadets were all in de-
mand a. officers. This made an opening for
the subscriber, and once more wa s
Captain Grant of the Mule Brigade.
But crowbaIts wouldn't sell or tradel
So of their skins tOp-bOots made
To cut q swell in the armyl
Then to old Jesse Grant wrote,
4 very polite and touching note:
''Please send thy son soldiers coat
To cut q swell in the armyl"
That coat old Jesse could not see,
Could not see,
Could not see
And thought for while 'twixt you and me
I'D lose my posish In the army.
SroKEN.-But the "Society for Relief of
Orphan Children" combined W 1t b the
'Young Mems Christian Association" and
bought me a slop- shop coat with bright
shoulder straps and shining buttons; and
then no thanks to my paternal ancestor,
could sing agsin
I'm Captain Grant, of the Mule Brigade;
This soldiers coat is ready made;
I've killed my croWbaits, quit my trade,
To cut swell in the army!
SPoKEN.-And when the war was over;
when the life of the nation was saved; when
all the money that the people lad earned
from the foundation of the Government was
stolen or squandeied; first mortgage to the
bondholder on all their property for more
than it is worth; one half the proceeds of
their labor assigned to sharpers for thous-
and years to come; one milton of our brav-
est and best buried in trenches; five hundred
thousand widows, and q million orphans,
bereaved and destitute; ''Rings," the new
Lame for banditti, ruling every where. Rings
stealing in the name of whisky; Rings steal
ing in the name of fir, \, Rings stealing in
the name of copper; mock railroads built tC
the Pacific to make Rings rich; i'two-thirds'
of both branches of Congress selling laws,
at an established scale of prices, varying
with the value of the enactment to the pur-
chasers; DEATH, DEBT, DEsPoTIsNl the
''National'' Trinity! the Black Republican
GOdheadl ruling and running all but thu
Rings, who is 50 fit for President, as
| Captain Grant of the Mule Brigade,
Whose boots of croWbait skins were made
| Whose coat was bought in the slop shop tradG
| Still cutting q swell in the army2
Ahl who so fit IS the butcher bold,
| Who murdered his men in blood so cold
A hundred thousand, if all were told
To cut swell in the army?
About whose pillow throng at night,
Gather at night
Hover at night
The ghosts of thousands slaughtered in fight
That he might strut in the aFmyl
BUoYRUs, o. March 1859. ", II