The Shasta courier., 1869-02-06
A Spat and a Quarrel.
NINE YEARS OF WAR BETWEEN HUSBAND
AND WIFE.

|
A most curious and strange illustration
of the inherent love of war in the human
bosom, is given in the history of man and
wife, now living in Maury County, Tenn,
within six miles of Columbia. An old
couple, who were once happy and enioyed
life, perhaps, as much as is possible for a
married couple to enjoy it, live in the
locality above indicated. They own small
property, but have no children. They eat
their meals together daily, except when the
old man is out hunting, at which time the
lady of the house enjoys her grub in ST.
lence- Every evening of the year except
one, they occupy opposite sides of the fire.
place, one whiting tobacco smoke up the
chimney, and the other chewing snuff, and
growing to herself Not word passes
AT about 10 o'clock they simultaneously
rise from the fire and go to bed in silence
The exceptional day to this beautiful,
harmonious life, is the 25th of December,
commonly called in this Christian country,
Christmas Day." when there occurs
regular, old-fashiobed fight between the
silent swain This is an annual battle, and,
like other fights, is contest for the su-
premacy of an idea 1t was inaugurated
| in this wise:
Nearly ten years ago, on Christmas Day,
in the morning. the old man went out hunt
ing for something fat for dinner. After an
absence of about FIVE hours, he returned
with an animal of some sort, and, singing
it on the floor, he triumphantly exclaimed
There, there, Betty, is a ground-hog
for dinner"
Betty turned the affair over with the
toe of her brogan, gazed intently for about
TWO minutes, and then deliberately said
Faugh. it is a skunk p
The husband didn't like this expression
of opinion on the part of his beloved, but,
being mild man, and anxious to retain
the long-standing good feeling between
them, he contented himself with gentle
reiteration of his first remaIk The wife
again dissented. The husband put little
more frmness in his next reiteration. The
lady soon became firm also, and even in
dulged in a sort of subdued sneer at the
ignorance of her husband. He waxed
cross.
"I tell you, Bet, it's a ground-hog, and
| don't want to be contridicted."
But the lady contradicted. tell you
it is" and 81 tell you it ain't," followed
each other with increasing rapidity and
virulence, until the storm assumed the
shape of blows The man pinched, and
the woman scratched, until both became
exhausted, and had to quit from sheer wear
iness.
Next day, when GOODNESS and reflection
superseded heat and passion, both silently
regretted the unfortunate difference of
opinion, which left the head of the house
with half his beard and very little hair, and
the lady with two eyes of unusual darkness;
but they spoke not. No, both were too
proud and guilty for that. They remained
silent until whole year had rolled round,
and Christmas Day again came on. While
enjoying cup of thick, black coffee, and
greasy corn dodger, the wife mildly ven
tured to remark, to the effect that they had
been very foolish year ago, to fall out and
pound each other about so miserable thing
as skunk.
"Yes," said the repentant husband /" it
was darned wicked of us and we:oughtn't
ha' done it. But you forget Bet, that was
ground hog, and not a skunk
Bet did not forget She had reason to
remember, although the black eyes were all
gone then, but she knew it was skunk
The husband thought it shame for her to
hold the opinion still, particularly when she
knew it to be ground-hog. She knew it
was skunk-he knew it was hog. She
knew different The virulence again crept
in, words waxed hot and blows followed
The scene of the former Christmas Day was
re-enacted to nicety, and both went to bed
exhausted, with blacker eyes in her head,
and less hair on his. They we're repentant
and silent next day, and spent the year
without speaking, butwhen the anniversary
arrived, the same scene was gone through
with religious precision, and has been gone
through with every Christmas since
The people for miles round have become
aware of these annual idiosyncracies in the
lonely and peculiar pair, and look forward
with much interest to the developments of
the coming Christmas. 1t may be proper
to remark, for the sake of perspicuity, that
the lady's eyes, from being light gray,
have become coaly black from the period
ical dyeing which her considerate hus-
band gives them and his hair has en-
tirely disappeared, owing to the yearly
operations of her long fingers.
There are various opinions entertained
as to when the war will end, but the gen.
eral opinion is that the lady will use up
the old man in few more fights.
DURING the examination of witness as to
| tba looal;tv of tha stairs in n bousa tho