The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1869-06-04
MARRIED By TELEGRAPH.
BY Z. R. C.

Every, sir.s
"Very'l why do you say very ?"
because my dear little wife and l are
bound together by wires"
.sLatimer Leary, you talk enigmas."
s"Then, sir, to be as plain as primer,
will inform you that was married by
i You don't say!"
/ eyes, l do"
| ''Then tell the company all about it.
81 will, with pleasure. Ladies and
gentlemen, my wife is second cousin,
and was also a Leary. She once resided
in the city of indianapolis, while /
was a resident of Centerville in. the same
State.
l was bachelor of thirty, but full of
general love. / say general love, be-
cause had not made a concentration.
"Why don't you take a wife PSI was
eternally buzzed in my ears. "Whom
will take ?" said l. To this query a
score of friends would say: "Your rel
alive Kate Leary."
in!"
"Only second cousin" they would
retort; .tand your opposite, Latimer.
Kate is blonde, and you as dark as Ere
bus or the ace of clubs"
l had never seen Miss Leary, but
this continual association of the young
lady with my welded life had an in
f1uence.
One day a member of Congress ex-
claimed: "Mr. Leary, were l single,
would assurredly pay court to your
magnificent cousin. AS l am married,
and you are my best friend, i earn
estly hope you will possess that lux
ury."
AT this period was a merchant HaV-
ing discharged thieving clerk, was SO
confined to my store that journey to
! indianapolis was out of the question.
l was growing almost wild to see one
whom all praised, and so many wished
me to wed.
In a few days from the call of my
legislative friend, his brother, a noted
judge, appeared at my store. The judge
was also my devoted ally-a position
intensified by his recollection of being
educated by my deceased father.
Drawing a daguerreotye from his
coat, said he: 81 wish to show you some
thing nice. There, what say you to
thatw told him it was absolutely en-
chanting. "Who is it 2" L cried, with
enthusiasm.
'This, my dear friend, is Miss Kate
Leary, the lady wish you to marry"
all they claim for her?"
''My dear friend, honestly as / value
truth, l have not heard her sufficiently
praised"
''Why don't some man try his luck ?"
81 am glad you ask. Simply because
she is over courted, and consequently
hard to please. She is clearly romantic.
and clearly see not winable by ordi-
nary methods"
You say she is very PARTICULAR"
''She is, sir"
EaThen pood-bvo for men
'tNot at all; she is rapturous over
your likeness. and sends her cousinly
love, with an invitation to visit her. /
pledge you | omitted not single good
point i'll your body, calibre and charac-
ter"
''Do yon consider her daguerrotype
accurate z"
She has extraordinary beauty, and the
kind that is more striking in animation
or conversation.
While mutual friends in Centreville
were lauding my fair cousin, mutual
| friends in indianapolis were decided in
the eulOgies for me and preraring her
mind for an alliance.
/ am not very self-conceited. Believ-
| ing such concord must be born of an
obvious fact, l settled on an idea of
| marrying this wonder in beauty, soul
and accomplishment.
! My intent was quickly confirmed up
on hearing that very wealthy and in
| fiuential banker from Gotham was in
the melting mood. / remembered it
was midnight. limited from my store
the last of a batch of chronic lonngers,
and selected the best stationary in the
establishment. / was to write my first
letter to Kate.
From all that had passed fine style
was easy. l always f1attered myself on
my syntax and will unegotistically affirm
| that missive was at once tender, audac-
ious, dignified, wild and intense 1t
struck her like an electric shock. The
banker was laughed out of competition,
and your humble servantswas master of
| the situation.
Such a reply as Ireceivedi Well
you must see it-yOu shall see it. have
| good gas works, but am inadequate.
In brief we knew that each knew the
other well. The much said by so many
nutuals superadded to our daguerro-
types and letters, made us cOmpre-
bending couple. In fact, we confessed
our love-a full, round, ripe and lus-
cious article. There could be no I'M
safety in the case. Our lineage was in
common and every fact known. What
follows is ciear-an engagement yes,
between lovers and cousins.
/ / was diving to fold her to my heart
but my solus condition and maturing
appointments postponed it indefinitely.
/ What do you say? Why didn't she
visit one of our friends at Centerville
answer you cheerfully. She was an
oddity. She had her notions and
would entertain them. Though we
were plighted, she declared it should
not be said she made the first visit.
| Many believe she was right.
| L 6nn't aPOna the Tsoinf hut TnarplV
answer question.
4 Weeks passed, letters were numerous
and copiously saecharine. The time ar
rived when I could endure my single
condition no longer. What if some one
would cut me out at the eleventh hour
With such love what would become of
me? 1 was determined to own her,
even if l did not see her for decade.
An idea dawned-a brillian one. i
was determined to compass a speedy
marriage and satisfy her thirst for ro-
nance. After flood of tenderness, BY
way of dramatic peroratiOn, wrote !:
-, my adored one, let US depart
from the stale routine, and wed by teie-
graph"
The idea took her BY storm. Her an
swer was characteristic. 1t run thus
'sDarling, IswILI.. The idea is savory
but it is legal u
Immediately 1 sent for my friend,
the judge. Soon as he faced me / said,
Judge, is marriage by telegraph le-
gal 2"
Certainly, sir; see no objections to
a contract by telegraph. ! readily per-
Iceive how all requirements can be ac-
teomplished."
s.Wilf you state this opinion on paper,
land prescribe formula for an electric
wedding p
with pleasure, sir.
| Thf isad.rl, understood mo. and nrladlar