The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-03-19
Tho story OF a Hat.

| tho Story Oh mat
The following letter, in which Colonel
Platt, the Washington correspondent OF
the loss of Mr.. Greeley's old white hat
at the Inauguration ball, is equal to the
best style of Mark Twain:
1 was sitting in my den. arranging
material for one of my letters, when an
old party brought his venerable person
| within range of my visual organ and
asked if was the author of that extra
ordinary statement concerning the loss
of Mr.. GreeleY's old white hat.
Since the Buckley demonstration !
have been exceedingly cautious of ap-
prOacheS by strangers-not knowing
| but what some idiot may have taken
offense at my Just criticisms, and seeks
to shift the controversy from the brain,
where he is sadly at loss, to the mus
Gle nature has provided him in common
with the mule. But n glance satisfied
me that my visitor was man of peace,
and not, in any sense, t1ghtist. The
head was bald, leaving the impression,
by its appearance, that the hair had
dropped Off from weakness. He had n
stOop to his shoulders, that came of hui
mility, while his clothes, we'll enough in
themselves, looked AS If they were the
clothes of some one else, and the wear
! OF lHIL h0 " ClObh
ed by the consent OF other people.
| lie was, in Il word, one OF million,
thrown out by nature and made in the
manner of spoons, so they can be
packed together without difficulty.
Their negative characters harmonize,
and that being the chief end OF their
creation, it is all.
invited my friend to sit down. He
did so, on the edge of the chair, in
deprecRtory manner, and after Il vain
attempt to hide his hat under the chair,
he said:
~ read your account of Mr.. Greeley's
| losing his hat, sir, in the National IN.
tcLligencCr. 1 have read the National
Intctiigencc7' for forty years. do it
through habit and sense of duty. l
do not agree with the InteLhge'lccI'. l
| cannot recOllect that l ever did agree
with that journal. But that is a mat
ter Of 40 moment. I read your face
serve that MIR. Greeley was so indig-
nant as to use prOfane language on the
occasion, for 1 was the innocent cause
of his excitement"
"You, sir ?"
Yes sir. 1 attended the Inaugural
ton ball. l have attended the inaugu-
ration balls for forty years. have
done so through habit and a sense of
duty. had been riding in an Omni-
bus all day as one ofthe veterans of the
war OF 1872. 1 was not in the war Of
1912, but they told me that it was neces-
sary to have an omnibus load of vete-
rams on that occasion as it was to have
fire companies and engines. AS 81
veteran of the war OF 1912, I received a
complimentary ticket to the ball. or
| course 1 was a little tired. Being
veteran of the war Of 1872, 1 must say,
| pleasant. One has to ride bare. headed
so as to look veteran and acknowledge
the applause. took cold in my head
and twinges of rheumatism in my
back. The ball, sir, was all that you
described. 1t was, without exception,
the worst ball ever attended. de-
| posted my coat and hat, alter much
difficulty, with the colOred person, who
gave me in exchange ticket marked
| 1882 and then l tried to get to the
room where l was informed the vete~
rams of 1872 were to meet and proceed
to pay their respects to the President
and Vice-President.
"After q protracted struggle 1 got to
the room 80 exhausted l could hardly
stand, There we're no chairs In the
room, but a great many veterans.
More veterans; indeed, than we had in
! the omnibus. One OF these, observing
nv condition, took from his pocket
flask and made me drink. This revived
me, and the gentlemen laughed and
said it was spirit '76; and l observed
that he had djusted his wig. was
surprised at this, for the wig was of
gray hair, and full and flowing. See
Ing that looked at this i'll some amaze
ment, he again laughed, and, speaking
low, said that he was veteran born
| that afternoon, being In fact only twen-
ty.two years, of age; that his wig had
once belonged to old Nep., late OF the
navy department, and he thought 1t
such Il jolly lark that he had procured
the wig from the barber and a dress
| from the theatre, and that he intended
to head the procession and make II
speech to Grant and Schuyler. He
asked me if could remember any
thing about the war of '12. 1 told him
1 could not; that l was no more n vet
eran then he; then he laughed, and
asked me if any of the venerable buff
ters, as he called US, were vets"
"My Christian FRIEND" l said, inter
rupting the old gentleman, "all this is
verv interesting, but cannot see what
it has to do with Mr.. Greeley's hat.'
"If you will have patience with me,
proper time"
On this compliment, to be found in
the word young, 1 softened, and mo-
toned my friend to proceed.
with great difficulty we made our
wav through the crowd of half naked
women and rude young men, who jost-
and buffers and such strange names,
and told us we had better proceed to
the congressional cemetery and get bur-
led, At last half of our number sue
ceeded in reaching the administration.
and were first introduced to General
Grant. The young man spoke of made
quite an address to the President, and
all the time he was speaking he had TO
fight the crowd that kept pushing and
pushing us in the rudest manner. Once
1 had to laugh. My young friend acted
the feeble old man very perfectly. q
little to feeble, perhaps, and while he
was speaking a portly man attempted
to push on one side. Without ceas1ng
to speak, or turning his head even, he
suddenly struck tie fat man in the
stomach with such violencetha "cor-
pulence,' as he called him afterward,
would have fallen down but for the
crowd. General Grant grinned and q
little girl who stood near him had to
stuff her handkerchief in her mouth to
keep from screaming"
"Did General Grant make any re-
Spouse to this address?"
"None, only he remarked that he was
glad to see the veterans of 1872 so Wig.
orous, and he looked at the fat man
and smiled"
"Then we were presented to the Vice
u \ T.