Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-05-28
W0man's CuriOsity-The Secrets of Odd
Fellowship Woman that Wanted Just
Peep into that Private Closet.

Fellowship Woman that Wanted Just
Peep into that Private Closet
A lodge of the Independent Order of Odd
Fellows, at Woodstown, determined to have
their lodge-room done up clean and nice
It was resolved unanimously that Mrs. K.
should be employed to do the job. l
After the meeting adjourned the Guard
ian, who knew the inquisitive character Of
Mrs. K, procured a billy goat and placed
him in closet that was kept as reservoir
for the secret things. He then informed
the lady Of the wishes Of the lodge, and re-
quested her to come early next morning, as
he would then be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not to be done.
Morning came, and with it Madame K, ,
with her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, ETC.,
and found the Guardian waiting for her.
CHOW, Madame" said he, II tell you
what we want done, and how we came to
employ you. The brothers said it was diff
cult to get any body to do the Job, and not
be meddling with the secrets in that little
closet; we have lost the key, and cannot
find it to lock the door, [ assured them
that you could be depended on"
Depended on ! guess can. My poor
dead and gone husband, he belonged to the
Free Masons or anti-Masons, I don't know
which He used to tell me all the secrets
Of the concern, and when he showed me all
the marks the grid iron made when he was
initiated, and told me how they fixed poor
Morgan, never told living soul to this
day if nobody troubles your closet to find
out your secrets till I do. they will lay there
till they rot, they will aaIii as.i.ss. Ut.
i thought So said the guardian 'sand
now want you to commenced in that corner,
and give the whole room a-decent cleaning,
and I pledge my word and honor for the f.
deity to your. promise, now don't 20 into
that closet" and then left the lady to her.
self Fn3is:1'j''''.i ito1- -.'@l i''4 ~
No sooner had she heard the sound of his
feet on the last step Of the stairs then she
exclaimed, Don't gM into the closet !"9
cpl warrant there's grIa-iron, or some
nonsense, just like the anti-Masons for all
the world, I'll be bound will take one
peep, and nobodywill be any the wiser, as
I can keep ito myself Ill., o i5Dii5e'sa9
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly to the forbidden closet, turned
the button, which was no sooner done, than
bah went the billy goat with a spring to
regain his liberty, which came near upset
ting her ladyship. Both started for. the
door, but it was filed With implements for
house cleaning, and all were. swept clear
from their position down to the, bottom of
the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned by
such unceremonious coming down stairs
drew half the town to witness Mrs. KS eff
fort to get from under the pile Of pals, tubs,
brooms, and brushes in the street. f.l
Who should be first to the spot but the
rascally doorkeeper, who after releasing the
goat, which was a cripple for life, and up
lifting the rubbish that bound the good wo-
man to the earth, anxiously inquired if she
had been taking the degrees p
Taking the degrees !'' exclaimed the la
dy, ''if you call tumbling from the top to
bottom ofthe stairs with the devil after ye,
taking things by degrees, have them, and
if ye frightened folks as ye have me, and
hurt them to boot, I'll warrant they will
make as much noise as I did," 5'
Il hope you did not open the closet, mad
am" said the doorkeeper. s2 4 '6'
"Open the closet?" Eve ate the apple she
was forbidden! If you want woman to do
anything, tell her not to do it, and she'll do
1t certain, ] could not stand the temptation.
The secret was there. | wanted to know II.
| opened the door an out popped the tarnal
crltter right into my face [ thought the
devil had me, and I broke for the stairsw
the devil butting me at every jump. Ifell
over the tub and got down stairs as you
found us, all in heap"
"But, madam" said the doorkceper,
''you are in possession of the great secret of
our ORDER and must go mp to be initiated
and sworn, and then 60 in the regular way"
Regular way" exclaimed the lady, ."and
do you suppose am going near the tarnal
place, and ride that ar critter without bri-
die or lady's saddle? No never I don't
want nothing to DO with the man that rides
1t. la look nice perched upon a billy goat
wouldn't [ !! No, never! I'll never go
nigh it again, nor your hall nuther-ifI can
prevent it no lady shall ever join the Odd
Fellows. Why, "a sooner be Free Ma,
son, and be broiled on grid-ir as long as
fire could be kept under it, and pulled from
garnet to cellar, with a halter, in a pair Of
old brooches and slippers, just as my poor.
dead husband And he lived over it. but
never could live over such another ride as 1
took to-day. ...I,-a