Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-01-15
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little episode TO arouse us. AL MOntanna {
young man and young wouIan came OF
board of the. sleeping car, the former said
s'See here, Mr.. Conductor, [ want one O
your best hunks for this young woman ane
one for myself individually. One will Dc
for us when we git to the Bluffs, hey, Ma
rier? Ga playful and afectionate poke a
sMarier' with his elbow, to which she re-
plies, s'now, John, quit ?'') for you see were
goin' to git married at Marier's uncle's wher
we git there. We mighta a. been married al
Montanny ,.but..we took a habit to wait It'll
we got to the Bluffs, bein' as Marier's uncle
is a minister, and they charge goP fired
price for hitchin' folks at Montanny." Ma
ria was assigned to one of the 'sbest hunks, y
John was given one not far away. After a
time the inmates of the car were all slowed
away in their berths to go through the inev-
table alterations Of sweltering and freezing
During stoppage Of the train at one sta
ton the voice Of John was heard in pleading
accents, all unconscious that the train had
stopped and that tones, which the noise Of
the rattling wheels had drowned while the
cars were moving, could be distinctly heard
by all when they had stopped.
"Now, Marier, you, might give Teller
JUS one'kiss."
"John, you quit, or I'll git right out
hare and hoof it back to Montanny in the
snow storm"
"Only one little kiss, Marier, and I'll go !:
hope to'f don't"
Just at that interesting moment gray
head protruded from a berth at the other end
Of the car, and an old man cried out so all
could hear: ssMarier, for Gods sake give
John one kiss, so that we can go to sleep
some tonight"
It is needless to remark that peal of
laughter rang from one end of the car to the
other, under cover of which John skunk
back to the solitary seclusion ct bis chunk"
leaving Marier to the undisturbed possession
of her marriage license, which she interpre-
ted to permit no license, to John, until ac-
companied by the proper certificate. And
Marier was right.
A FRENCH Story Yin 1869 a gentleman
was passing. late at night, oyer Pont Neuf,
Paris, with lantern A man came up to
him and said:
'Rcad this paper"
He held his lantern and read az follows:
I Speak not word when you this read.
Or in an instant you'll be dead
- Give up your money, watch and rings,
With other valuable things
Then quick, in silence, you depart,
Or, with a knife will cleave your heart
Not being man of much pluck, the af-
frighted gentleman gave up his watch and
money and ran off. He soon gave the alarm,
and the highwayman was arrested.
"What have you to say for yourself?'' in
qurired the magistrate before whom the
robber was arraigned,
"That am not guilty of robbery, though
T took the watch and money!"
''Why not guilty?" asked the magis-
trate.
"Simply because | can neither read nor
write. I picked up that paper just at the
moment l met this gentleman with Ian
tern. Thinking it might be something val
liable. [ politely asked him to read it to me-
He complied with my request, and present.
ly handed me his watch and purse and ran
I supposed the paper to be of great value to
him, and he had thus literally rewarded me
for finding it. He gave me no time TO thank
him, which act Of politeness [ was ready to
perform
The gentleman accepted the plea of the
robset. and withdrew hrs complaint.
A bachelor uncle, to whom his niece ap-
piled for advice on the question Of choosing
between two suitors. one of whom was rich
and the other poor-the latter being the
most arient, as well as the fayorite lover
replied, MY dear, the question being strip
ped of all illusory elements, your choice
simply lies between love and beef. Now.
love is an idea, while beef is reality. Love
you can get along without; but beef you
must have. Therefore, make sure of your
beef
AN ANXIOUS SWEETHEART. IA young girl
who had become tired of single blessedness,
writes to her true swain as follows:
DEER G1M---Cum rite off eff you air cum
min at awl. Ed Ceilings is insistin that /
shiil hey him, an he hugs an kisses me SO
kontinnesly that can't hold out mulch long
er, but viii bev 2 kaye In,
A Lady said to her husband in Jer,old's
presence: my dear yop certainly want
some new trousers" CHOW, I think not"
replied the husband 'Well said Jerrold,
Il think the lady, who always wears them,
ought to know
sIfI ever reach Heaven said DR.. Watts,
/ expect to find three wonders there list.
The presence Of some that I had not thought
to see there I'd. The absence of some whom
had expected to meet there 3d. The grea-
ter wonder of all will be to find myself there.
TME M&rE1MsNsAL FRUIT BASKET. Says
Kate to her new husband, "John, what
rock does true love build upon g Quoth
John, and grinned from ear to car, 1.-THE
rock Of yonder cradle, dear"
A man being asked. as he lay summing
himself in the grass. what was the height Of
his ambition, replied: "To marry = rich
widow with bad cough"
One of the most curious things is, that
watch should keep perfectly dry when it has
running spring inside.
An old bachelor says he dislikes young
married couples, because "they are apt to
give themselves heirs"
"John, did you ever bet on horsc-race {"
mo; but I've seen my sister Bet on an old
mare!'
A St. Louis newspaper heads asa editorial
about the Indians 1.-THE Gentlemen With
out Hats"
The man who was filled with emotion
hadn't room for his dinner.