Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1869-05-19
UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE.


That a woman who goes to church
three times on Sunday, and every eve
! ming in the week, while her husband
/ eats cold dinners, and her children
wear ragged stockings, can be a bet
ter Christian than she who goes only
once week, and keeps the kettle boil
/ ing at home, and the faces around her
bright
That the old gentleman who says
''Things aren'tas they used to be when
1 was yOung-the world seems to be
going backward all the whileI" has
kept up with the timesi Old gentle
man, it is you that is standing still,
| while the world moves on, and the
less you say about it, the better.
! That the girl who lies in bed while
her mother gets the breakfast, and
then creeps out from among the pill
| lows with hair in crimping pins, and
shawl awry, to snap at the old lady
and snarl at the little brothers and sis
/ tiers, can ever make a good wife to any
man! "Just as the twig is bent the
trees inclined" /" and this twig is bent
remarkably crooked.
That the boy who calls his father
''the governor" and his mother 1.-The
cid woman" keeps away from Sab
bath-school and Bible-class, spends
Sunday on the street corners, and
habituallymakes light of sacred things
will make a good or great man, un-
less he reforms straight through from
the very beginning!
That man who thinks it "meanr to
count his change, or look after his
pennies, can ever become a Roths-
child, or even a moderately rich mani
That woman whOputs down every
cent of her expenditure, from two
cents for shoe laces up to two hundred
dollars for a silk dress, during one en-
tire year, can fail to spend considera-
big less the second,yeari 1t is rather
difficult, without this precautiOn, to
tell where the money gOes,n but
when you have once discovered the
needless expenses, it is comparatively
easy TO check them.
That man who sneers at matrimony,
and declares "there isn't the woman
living he would marry, !" has not been
badly Tilted within the year by some
unprineipled little eoquette who
thought he needed a lesson!
That the old maid who devotes her
life to cats and canary-birds, dogs and
parrots, hasn't a warm corner in her
heart for pretty dimpled baby, what
ever the popular prejudices upon the
subject may be. If any body don't
believe that such an old maid would
make good wife, let him marry her,
and see!
That the child who is always allow
ed to have his ownway at home, and
never is cOntradieted 'lest it should
break his spirit, will make a useful
member of society, when he grows
old enough to come in contact with
the restrictions of the world and the
laws of the landI
That little girl who can't 90 out in
winter because the frost will spoil her
complexion, and who must stay in the
house in summer, lest the sun should
embrown her delicate skin, will de-
velap into a healthy wOmenl Keep
shine, and it will sprout into siekly
pallOr. Geraniums and children are
not altogether unlike in this respect.
That man who has his cupboard full
of quack medicines, and doses his
family in thespring ''to clear out their
systems" and gives them pills and
powders in the fall "to brace themup,"
and runs for the doctor every time the
baby rolls up its eyes, can't fail to
supply the undertaken with several
paying Jobs in the course of the next
ten years!
That the old lady who believes in
"signS and symptoms" always looks
out for the new moon over her left
shoulder, and never makes pickles on
Friday, will not know Something
to happen" within the year, partieu-
larly if she has the bad luck to break
the looking-glass As the old Dutch
farmer said, ''Things is always hap
pening, most years 20
That the man who says, "Plenty of
time, there's no hurry,h should not
miss the boats, lose the trains, and get
generally behindhandl Just notice
whether people that have plenty of
time," don't usually end with having
no time at all.
That the woman who puts off her
baking until the washing is done, and
the washing until the weather is q
little warmer, and sits down TO read
a dog's-eared novel in the meantime,
should have anything but drinking
husband, shiftless children, and
desolate home!
That the man who carries his hands
in his trOwsers pockets, should ever
possess anything else to carry in his
pockets
That the young lady who sleeps in
kid gloves, and powders her face ''for
the benefit of her ercomplexiOn, ;" should
have more than her share of common
sense!
That the man who wears an imita-
ton diamond ring will ever own a
real OneI For mock jeWelry indicates
a lack of brains, and 1t takes certain
amount of brains to make money
enough for real diamonds, or any
thing else that is genuine.
That a woman who believes in. the
old proverb, that "a soft answer turn
eth away wrath, and puts it in daily
practice, can become involved in
quarrels with the people who live
next door and across the street, how
ever beligerently they may be dispOs-
ed.-PhreRoJogiedL Journal.