Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1869-09-25
HOW SMITH ASKED THE OLD MAN.

1t therefore became absolutely nec-
essary to get the old gentleman's per-
so, as Smith said, the ar
might be made to hop the
twig.
Smith said he'd rather pop the in
terrogatory to all Of old Thompson's
and his sisters, and his
lady cousins, and his aunt Hannah,
in the country, and the whole Of his
female relations, than ask old ThOmp-
son. But it had to be done, and so he
sat down and studied out speech
which he was to disgorge at old
the very first time he got
a shy ut him. So Smith dropped
in on him on one Sunday evening,
when all the family had meandered
around to meeting, and found him do
ing sum i'm beer measure.
How are you, Smith said old
as the former walked in,
white as q piece of chalk, and trcmb-
ling as if he had swallowed a con-
densed earthquake. Smith was
afraid to answer, cause he wasn't sure
about that speech. He knew he had
to keep his grip on it while he had 1t
there, or 1t would slip from him
quicker than an oiled eel through an
augur hole. So he blurted out {:
Mr.. Thompson, sir : Perhaps 1t
may not be unknown to you that
during an extended period of some
five years, have been busily engaged
i'm the prosecution of a commercial
"Is that so, and keepin' it secret
all this time, while 1 thought you
were tendin store? Well, by George,
you're one of them now, amt you 2"
Smith had begun to think it all
over again, to get the run of it.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps 1t
may not be unknown to you, that
during the extended period Of five
years / have been busily engaged i'm
the prosecution of a commercial en-
terprise, with the determination to
secure sufficient maintenance"
"Sit down, Smith, and help your
self to beer. Don't stand there hold
in your hat, like blind beggar, with
/ never have seen you be-
have yourself SO queer in all my born
days"
Smith had been knocked out again,
and SO he had to wander back again
and take a fresh start.
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not
be unknown to you that during an
extended period of five years l have
been engaged in the prosecution of a
commercial enterprise, with the de-
termination to procure sufficient
maintenancc-o
"a which ance?" asked old
Thompson, but Smith held to the last
word as if it was his only chance, and
went on:
"In the hope that some day |
might enter wedlock, and bestow my
earthly possessions upon one whom L
could call my own. 1 have been
lovely man, sir, and have felt that it
is not good for man to be alone; there
fore 1 would"
"Neither is it, Smith; I'm glad
you dropped in. How's the old MANI"
4" Mr.. Thompson, sir" said Smith,
in despairing confusion, raising his
voice to yell, sit may not be un-
known to you that, during an eX-
tended period of lovely man. !
have been engaged to enter wedlock,
and bestowed all my enterprise on
one whom | could determine to be
good for certain possessions-no,
| mean-that is-that-Mr. Thomp-
son, sir: 1t may not be unknown"
" And then, again, it may. Look
here, Smith, you'd better lay down
and take something warm you amt
we'll"
Smith, sweating like a four-year
old cold, went in again:
"Mr. Thompson, sir: 1t may not
be lonely to you to prosecute me
whom you to prosecute me whom you
a friend, for commercial mainten-
ance, MISUNDERSTANDING it-Mr.
Thompson, sir It"
"Oh, Smith, you talk like fool
i have never seen n more first-class
idiot in the course of my whole life.
What's the matter with you, any
how"
"Mr. Thompson, sir" said Smith,
i'm an agony of bewilderment, ait
may not be known that you prosecu-
ted n lonely man who is not good for
a commercial period of wedlock for
some five years, but
"See here, Mr.. Smith, you're
drunk, and you can't believe better
than that, you'd better leave; If you
don't, I'll chuck you out, or lam n
Dutchman."
"Mr. Thompson, sir" said Smith,
frantic with depair, " it may not be
unknown to you that my earthly pos
sessions are engaged to enter wedlock
five years with sufficient lonely
man, who is not good for u CONNER
cial maintenance-o
"The very deuce he isn't. Now
you jist git up and git, or I'll knock
what little brains out Of you you've
got left"
With that, old Thompson took
Smith and shot him into the street
as if he'd run him against u locomo-
tive, going out at the rate of forty
miles an hour. Before old Thompson
had time to shut the front door, Smith
collected his legs and one thing and
another that We're lying around on
the pavement, arranged himself in u
vertical position, and yelled out:
Mr.. Smith, sir: 1t may be known
to you"-which made the old man SC
wretched mad that he went out and
set a bull terrier on Smith before he
had a chance to lift n brogan, and
there was a scientific dog-fght, with
odds in favor Of the dog, for he had
an awful hold for such a small ami
NAL.
Smith afterwards married the girl
and lived happily about two months.
At the end of that time he told II con-
fidential friend that he would will
ingly take more trouble and undergo
II million more dog bites to get rid OF
her.