The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-09-03
MINNIKIN AND IMMENSTKOFF,
BY A SNOWMAN.

MINNIKIN AND NfMENSIKOFF.
BY SNOWMAN.
WHEN travelled in the country with q
caravan had a giantess and dwarf in
my collection of natural curiosities. The
dwarf was Polish gentleman, Minnikin
by name; the giantess was from Russia
and we called her Immensikof, the title oi
a music hall song which was In vogue at
the time having suggested an appropriate
alias for her. l did very well with them.
The dwarf had an outrageous temper, and
would sometimes refuse to attend the Wis
itors at his levee; but the giantess was al
ways at hand to supply his place on the
list of attractions. She was the most
amiable creature in the world; and she
stood seven feet eleven inches and thrse.
quarters in her slippers, or, soaking in
round numbers-as we diI Ir on the hills
eight feet six. The dwarf was three feet
five, but he cJJdId bring himself down to
three tcet whenever he was in good tenn
per and the show was full. In general
way, however, he may be said to have
been about three feet two. We had all
travelled the Midland Circuit together, and
we were going up North, when an acci.
dent appened-Minnikin and Immensi-
koff eloped.
1t happened In this way. Minnikin,
being man, had naturally got an ascend
ancy over Immensikoff' g mind, and used
his power to borrow half-crowns of her
when his own purse was low. This hap.
pened very often, for, although he drew
an enormous salary, he lived above his in.
come, and as he could not hold enough to
eat and drink his money away, he gambled
with cards, and played at billiards, stand
ing on chair, till It was all ecfie, and he
was pretty deeply In debt. When he left
the chair In the billiard room it was only
to mount on another in the parlor of the
caravan and whisper an order, rather than
request, into the ear of the benevolent
giantess for loan to pay for his dinner.
She used to declare that there was some-
thing in his eye which made 1t impossible
for her to refuse him; and so she would al
ways dip into the old school satchel in
which she Kept her savings, and give him
what he wanted. He would then eat a
whole kidney for his supper, and drink a
cruetful of wine, and when the latter had
got into his head, would make such a
commotion in the tent that to pacify him
she was generally obliged to give him a
shilling more He saw her dip so often in
the satchel that he fancied its contents
were proportioned to its size; and one
day, he, as it were, ordered her to marry
him, which she was too weak to refuse to
do. He told her to keep their intention a
secret from me, and she obeyed, although
] had hitherto been her chosen confidant.
Taking advantage of my absence in the
town, he ordered van to be sent round
to the door of the caravan one evening, as
if some furniture were to be removed, and
by this means conveyed her to neigh
boring railway station. Mean to the last,
he made her pay the expenses of her own
elopement, for the van was discharged
with her money When / came back /
found nobody but the jaguar In the tent,
and note written on sheet of brown
paper from 1mmensikoff, asking my for
gircness.
Twas angry enough at the moment, as
may be supposed, but l made the best of
it; and what with turning myself into an
aborigine, and advertising the beast as a
tiger, L managed to keep q roof over my
head. But l always kept on the lookout
for a new giantess-I made up my mind to
have no more to do with dwarfs-and one
day, some months after my loss, found
one on show in very inferior locality of
the town of Portsmouth. paid my penny,
and went in. 1t was Miss Immensikoffl
She gave a sob when she saw me that
frightened the people out, and when they
were gone she gave full vent to her feel
ings, till the very glasses in the room
seemed to share her sorrow.
o, how changed she wasl Profession
ally, perhaps, the change was for the bet
ter, for she was now so thin that she
looked at least nine feet high; but as a
woman it was painful to behold her. In
spite of her looks, however, l told her /
hoped l saw her in good health, and
even inquired after her husband. The
mention of his name soon brought her
whole story to her lips. He was alive and
depraved as ever, and had lately quite
given up exhibiting, and had taken to
playing nine-pins with a cricket-ball, in
which sport he was engaged when l found
his WIFE,
His sole object in marrying her had, it
appears, been to live on her earnings, and
do no work himself, for there was nothing
he hated so much as keeping himself clean
for company. But he very soon discov-
cred that her slender store would not suf-
fee to support his extravaganza for
month, for, careful as she had been, she
had long had to send remittances to her
father and uncle i'm Podolia-both giants
besides ministering to her suitor's wants.
He had simply been deceived by the size
of the bag in which she kept her savings,
and he was mean enough to be revenged
on her for the failure of his own mercena-
~ calculations. Forgetting that he had
undertaken TO cherish and protect her, he
began to treat her with studied cruelty,
though for a time this cruelty was not of
such a character as made it easy for her
to complain. He was simply neglectful,
and appeared to be unconscious of the ex-
istence of his wife and one day, when,
having just touched her brow with his
lips in response to her fearful entreaty, he
was asked if that was the kiss of duty or
the kiss of affection, he replied that he
declined to answer the question.
Thenceforth he threw off all conceal
ment and all restraint, and, like the wolf
in the fable, never suffered himself to be
at a loss for the indulgence of his ILL
will. Her housewifelv care was some
thing remarkable, and when, after prying
into all the angles of their lodging, he
failed to find any dust which had escaped
her broom, he would turn round and Bit
terly taunt her with the partition of Po
land, as if she had had a hand in that
crime; and he would positively ask her
what she thought of the battle of Warsaw
when she ventured to demonstrate with
him for playing at loo till two o'clock in
the morning.
Sometimes his ill-treatment seemed to
be dictated by the most fiendish malignity.
Under pretence of liking fresh-cooked
food, he would order her to make pud-
ding for the dinner of size proportions
BILE to his own appetite and nature. and,
halving this meagre dish with the pen
knife which he used at table, would ironi-
cally bid her 81 fall to" on portion that,
while it was ample enough to serve for his
necessities, would not make her decent
mouthful 1t was the same with the food
of the mind; she had taste for the beau.
ties of our literature, and was accustomed
to enjoy the classics in folios, but he in
sisted on her reading them in diamond
editions.
These were the main points of the story
she told me, with many tears, and IN
manner that would have touched a heart
of stone. When she paused she drew out