The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-11-11
WOMAN i.
Mark Twain's Eulogy Of the
Fair Sex.

Club held its anniversary on Saturday
night. Mr. Clemens, better known as
Mark Twain, responded to the toast,
"Woman the pride Of the professions,
and the jewel ofours." He said:
Mr.. President: / do not know why
l should have been singled ont to re
ceiyc the greatest distinction Of the
cvcning-lor so the office Of replying
to the toast to woman has been regard
ed in every age. Applause. do not
know why have received this distinC-
ton unless it be that | am trinc less
homcly than the other members Of the
club. But be this rs it may, Mr.. Pres
idcnt, am proud Of the position, and
you could not have chosen any one
who would have accepted it more glad
lv or labored with a hearlicr good
will to do the subject justice than J.,
Because sir, l love the sex. Taught
er, ] love all the women. sir, irrcs-
pective Of age or color. Laughter
Human Intelligence cannot estimate
what we owe to woman sir. She sews
ON our buttons [laughtcrl she menus
our clothes laughter, she ropes Us il
at the church lairs--sho coniides in us
she tells whatever she can find out
about the private affairs of the neigh
bors--she gives us good advice and
plenty Of it--she gives us piece Of
her mind, sometimes--and sometimes
all of it--shc soothes our aching brow
she bears our children. In all our
relations of life, sir, it is but a just and
oraceful tribute to woman to say o!
her that she is brick. Great Laugh
ter.
Wheresoevcr you place woman sir,
in whatsoever position or estate-she
is an ornament to that place she sccu
pics, and a treasure to the world
Here Mr.. Twain paused looked in
quiringly at his hearers and remarked
that the applause should come i'll at
this point. 1t came in. Mr. Twain re-
sumed his eulogy. Look at the no.
BILE names of history Look at Cleopa.-
ra look at Desdemona look at For
ence Nightingale! look at Joan Of Arc
look at Lucretia Borgia! Disappro-
baton expressed -"Well," said Mr..
Twain scratching his head doubtfuly,
suppose we let Lucretia slide"
Look at Joyce Heth look at Mother
Eve. I repeat, sir, look at the illus
trious names of history! look at the
Widow Machree look at Lucy Stone!
look at Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Look
at George Francis Train; (Great laugh
ter. And sir, l say with bowed head
and deepest vener alton, look at the
mother of Washington! She raised a
boy that could not le--could not lie.
Applause. But he never had any
chance. 1t might have been different
with him if he had belonged to news
paper correspondents club. [ Laughter,
groans, Kisses, cries of put him out.
Mark looked around placidly upon his
excited audience, and resumed.
l repeat, sir, that in whatsoever po-
sition you place q woman she is an or
nament to society and treasure to
the world. As q sweetheart she has
few equals and no superior laugh
ter las cousin she is convenient;
as a grandmother, With an incurable
distemper she is precious; as q wet
nurse she has no equal among men !!
Laughter.
What sir, would the people Of this
earth be without women9 They would
be scarce, sir. Then let US cherish
her-let us protect her-let us give her
our support, our encouragement, our
sympathy. ourselves if we get chance
laughter
But jesting aside. Mr.. President, wo-
man 10 lovable gracious, kind Of heart
beautifal-wortuy of all respect, of all
esteem. of All deferences, Not any