The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-05-13
switticisins.

A light employment. Cleaning WIN
dows. B Bt.. #g' 1
When isleather like rustf When AL
is ox-hlde.
whyi astatue like a flgs Because
it FL G. (efagy.)
"Blood for blood" as the man said
when he killed . flea.
When is q blacksmith q hermit 7
When be is an anchor-wright.
Why ia, herb soup the best of all
SOUP Because it is soup-herb.
Charles Keap said bad horse was
like poor play; it can't run and won't
draw.
"We Prey for meat" as the foxes
remarked when they jumped into the
poultry yard.
Why are lovers signs like long stock
ings2 Because they are heigh-ohs,
(high hose.)
What bird is a man like who loves
winep A gray plover, (grape lover }
There is more or less science among
the gasmen. They particularly excel
in meterology.
Why are comic songs like gross blum
ders? Because they are absurd ditties,
(absurdities.
Why would Lavater have made a
good soldierY Because he was CAPT
tai fellow to "write about face
~ am very particular about my rep
utation sir" eyes you always have
been particular about trifes!"
What weapon does young lady re
semble whose acquaintance pass with.
out noticing her! A cut-lass.
Why is little demon sitting on
pent house like poor man? Because
he is an imp over shed (impovcrish-
ed.)
"Gently the dews are DER me steal
ing" as the man said when five due bills
were presented to him at one time.
A stoker, in Dragging about his wife
wound up with the declaration, "Why
she'd make a regular high pressure
steamer, she's such talent for blow
ing up"
In dispute between brewer and a
topper, the former said, "Tll be your
butt no longer" "With all my heart
said the latter, Il never liked an empty
one"
Theodore Hook, meeting friend
just after leaving the Kings Bench Pris-
on, who said to him that he was getting
fat, EYES," replied Hook, u was en-
larged to day."
A poetical contributor sends us a
production, and adds, "Did burns ever
rite anything like this" According to
the best Of our knowledge and ability
he did not.
How to commit murder Take a
pretty young lady-tell her she has a
pretty foot-she will wear small thin
shoe-go out in wet weather. a
9 ,lG-then 4 fever-and die in q month.
At one Of our common schools the
teacher in catechising his scho lars, put
the following question: "What was
made to give light to the world?"
Matches % cried one of the young
sters, after a short pause.
"How beautiful said lady not re-
markable for her cleanliness, ''the face
Of Nature looks after shower" Eyes,
madam and so would yours after under
going a similar process said a satiric-
al friend.
What is the difference between an old
married couple who stay at home and
quarrel, and young married couple
who go skating and break through the
ice? The first stay in and fall out, the
second 60 out and fall in.
Mother said fellow the other
day, ais there any harm in breaking
egg shells ? Certainly not my dear;
but why do you ask "Cause | dropt
the basket just now, and see what a
mess I'm in with the yolk"
The following is the introduction to
a piece of poetry in a late periodical:
"The following lines were written more
than sixty years ago by one who has
for many years slept in his grave, mere
ly for his own amusement"
A braggart sportsman Boosting of
the capabilities of very Indifferent
horse swore that the animal would have
won certain race, only he ran against
wagon. "The only thing" said by
stander, "that he is Git to run against"
The son ola fond father, when CO.
ng to the war, promised to bring home
the head one of the enemy. His par.
rent replied, II should be glad to see
you come without head, provided
you come safe"
"You've destroyed my piece Of mind
said lover to the young lady who
had Tilted him. "Then I'll give you a
piece Of my mind" she exclaimed and
she did, but the young man didn't con |
slider Il an equivalent for tho 1cstr,i.. |