The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-06

JGHuQry-1ll5 is SOou uoutn w W
born in. 1t is certain that the person
born in this month commences the veal
right. He that is born in January may
live to be an bandred years old, if he de
not die until century afterward. If ht
does, he will see good deal of GOODNESS
between friends. 1t will 60 hard with
him should he WOO an iciole and marry
mustard pot. Should he fail in money
matters it is ten to one but he will be as
poor as Jobs off OK.
February-The man born in February
will not live as many days as another
born in January, except he shall live
longer. People Gorn in this month will
for the most part never know on which
side their bread is Observation-Disclosures the
butter will be spread so thin. Many OF
them will speculate on other peoples
failings and Others fail in their own spec.
ulations. A club footed person born in
this month will not succeed rs ballet
dancer, either in the White Fawn, Black
Crook or Humpty Dumpty. A peculiar
| ity of persons born in this month is that
unless they die or get married-every
one of them will live to be old maids
and old bachelors. Don't be born in
February if you can help it.
MGrch-An extraordinary month. All
prize fighters should be born in March,
1t is the month of blows. Those born
in it will never find too much love or
friendship in the world. They will re.
ceive bumps, falls and tumbles in in.
fancy, and gingerbread, taffey and
spankings in childhood. They will, in
youth, have more conceit than either
knowledge or good sense. They will
be liable to colds and coughs every
winter.
April-Those who are born in this
month will presently begin to cry.
Many tears will they shed before reach
ing the wished for four score and ten
years of human joy and misery. Many
of the females born in this month will
have beautiful hair if they don't spoil it
by excessive combings and use of Perry
Davis Pain Killer, Spalding's Glue
and Podogogue, all warranted to make
the hair curl, but apt to take the "life'
out of it. Many of the men will CON-
mence shaving at the age of nineteen
and will keep it up pretty regularly
thereafter. Most of the women will get
married-if they can, and will advocate
Woman's Rights just as soon as they
commence wearing the garment worn
by George Francis Train and other
strong minded women. Some of the
men will be rich and the rest from poor
to middling.
Nay-Those born in May (and here
beg my reader to gaze upon the writer
and note the profound wisdom that DER.
spreads his face like huge poor mans
plaster) will, very many of them, have
blue eyes and fair compilations. The
majority of the males will grow to be
nearly six feet high, and the females
will have beautiful forms, which they
will array in hoops and dresses en- pan
ier, and so be dis6gured. Those that
wear bustleS will hump themselves ia
get through life. If any be hunchback
it will be said of them that they have
got their back up about it. Those born
in May, who enjoy good health, an easy
fortune, are blessed with good wives
obedient children, true friends, and
strictly avoid politics, will lead very
pleasant lives, and may reasonably de.
sire to be born again.
JuRe-Those born in June, and escape
disease and accident, will hardly know
what bodily pain is; they will bloom as
the rose. Those who inherit or acquire
great wealth Will enjoy unlimited credit
and will be able to lord it over their
poorer fellows. If your parents are
rich and have a large stock of seven
thirties on hand, or have "struck ile,n
our advice TO you is to be born in this
month, even though it be at considera,
BILE personal inconvenience.
July-A person born in this month
will avoid the payment of June taxes.
He should be patriot, being born in
the same month as this free and mighty
nation. His first present will be a ring
of some kind, if nothing more than a
wiring o. the nose, and that may account
for the Whisky Rings, Railroad Rings,
Scioto Rings, "Ring-around-a-posey,
and other circular affairs that flourish
SO extensively in the month. If wash
erwoman be born in July she will wiring
mems bosoms.
August-If the male born in this
month live long and drink much wine
and have the govt he will be apt to
swear if he Stubs his toe" The female
born in this month, though she be oil
extraordinary evenDess of temper, will
get angry if her little brother make q
90 cart out of her new bonnet, or make
boat of it, and navigate the washtubi
neither will it please her If man, in at
tempting to circumnavigate her trail
1 put his foot in it. August is a good
month to be born in, especially il one
be fond of early apples. The person
| born in this month, who would DO rich
must save more money than he spends
Sept,mber-The person born in Sep
TENDER, if be be not of pushing dispo'
sition, always doing, always busting
will be apt to take things easy. If be
be a good writer of poems he shall be &
poet and very poor, but will have the
love and appreciation of all the people
Even Sheriffs or coustables may have ar
attachment for him. Persons born II
September will never learn to skate in
this month, except they emigrate K
Alaska.
OctOb,r-This is the month in whict
members of Congress ard of State Leg
islatures are born, and a nice mess they
make of it. II we can't be born smart
er than some 81. C.'s, let Us not b
born at all. 1t is really discOuraging Z
an enterprising child to see what joll!
old sticks dc make their political brit
during this month. Many persons borI
IN this month will acquire great wealth
and will die without taking cent OF y
away with them. They will leave theii
money for their heirs TO quarrel over
out will carry with them curses anC
tears of the wronged and of the poo
they neglected to assist.