The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-06-24
From onr Special Reporter.
Washington College Commencement
Anniversary of tho s. Ugly CURB
LEXINGTON, Va, June q,

,..a. LEXINGTON. Va. June ~, 1909.
About dusk this evening cio"os VI Wv.
zens, students, and cadets, nlsn. hasc 49, xoa
seen vending their way 10 seas a. 80
.nn,,nd ,lstform on the college campus
and stro ,,rer mingling among them wonic
49, soon discovered from anxious looRs
"a eager expressions that great cvcn'
s obout to take placc-in fact, that tho
.I;r,I anniversary of the "Ugly Club
ros about to be celebrated. The assem-
bIv was as large as on any previous &C.
ccs;on. and embraced the usual proper
t;on Of fair maidens and grave matrons
,;vnly vounr men and dignihed PROBES
sors, small boys and bright little girls
all eager to see and hear thclr su-
nrcme uclincsscs who represent their com
ra5es for 1885,. The crowd had MOI
lone 10 wait but after listening to cnlrven-
mo strains from the band, they were greet
cd with the sight they came to witness
The committee--adorned with calico rosettes
If varied hucs-escorted the ''honor men >
upon the platform, and the exercises were
berun in due and ancient form. MIR. Pe-
tors president of the club, was untortu-
natcly detained by sickness, but his place
wos very well filled by the vicc-presldcnt,
Mr., ]. w. Gurlcy, of New Orleans, who,
nftcr n short prelude, introduced to the audi
cncc "Thc Ugly Man." Mr.. Frank rage OF
Hanover county, Va, and presented nm
with q pair Of boots, which were gotten W
in fine style.
Mr.. Page came forward, and, after allow
ing the applause TO subslde ana inc "n
dicpcc to feast their eyes on htS oe1"'y'
begun his address by saying: !" on nave
come here tonight to see, and have COME
to be seen. I wonder who will get the pes'
Of the bargainl You have come to sec inc
ugly man ; of Washington College: behoio
him! Now, since you have all iookea, ana
have recovered from the first shock, arc
YOU not surprised to sec person as hand
some as myself elected as the ugllcst mar
of the Students | know you arc IL yor
have seen them ALL He then accounted
for his own selection on the ground that
neither the college Faculty nor the la"
class were permitted to compete for tho
honor: and bcsidcs-in the estimation OF
the ladies, at least the studcnts-arc all Sc
handsome that the ugliest man among then
is far from being homely, as compared Will
common mortals But i'll keeping witt
his character, and in sympathy with
his comrades Of the Club, he would
assume that he was really ugly. but II
oil the ugly men were to ret boott
the bootmnkcIs would drive brisk trade.
His appctitc and health were as good as
when he was pretty; Tor he hda been
pretty once, aud could only account for the
sad change by the fact that he had SO lol@
breathed the atmosphere OF Washington
College, and had been subjected to the ter
riblc laws of chemical affinity. He thought.
he had company among the boys who were
laughing at him. "But even allowing tina!
YOU were handsome-yes y perfect beauty
like Bcrkcly here in this ring it would
do you no good, for you know it is SAID that
Lexington is like heavcn--in 1t there Is no
marrying nor giving in marriage. And tho
Club could be handsome too If they
were to resort to the means o.
giving their complexion the proper
tints which some ladies omploy-but OF
course lie would as Soon accuse Licking
ton lady of dancing at the College ball as
Of resorting to any such arts. Since mar
and his wife are "one," lie cxhortcd his
urly brethren to marry n pretty girl as
their last and only hope of becoming pas
SADLY good looking. Ills own matrimonial
prospects were Ill blightcd 10y this award
Of the Club; bat he should cling to hie
boots, and console himself with the old
a,larc. "a bird in the hand is worth two
in The bllsh.n lie cyhorted each young lady
present to choose the ugliest man she could
lind--thc one at her side would suit admira-
Ely--ns her future companion; for ii lie
had no beauty Of his own to look after he
would he al the more ready to appreciate
hers, and permit all the spare cash to 60
for its decoration. Besides, if the ladies
wait for pretty men, the number of old
maids will be fearfully increased; and
then, after all, pretty men become ugly and
ugly men grow pretticr every year, accord
ing to the testimony Of his predecessors and
his own experience.
If now there should still be question
why he above oil others got the boots, he
would simply say in conclusion
'.Whcrc IS the man from far or nigh
Who better deserves the boots than /.
If he be here, let him reply,
And hin indeed Will DEFY
or any other man"
Mr. Page WAS greeted with frequent ap-
plause, and when he took his seat was hon
orcd with large bouquet of choice garden
aoeedS with n large pasteboard card at
tachci, and On appropriate sentiment from
one Of the fair ones present. ..ra
Mr.. f. c. Berkeley, of Hanover county,
Va, was next presented with hat as being
the pretty MAJ" Of college.
He made o response the most of which
was in blank verse. 1t contained some
good hits especially his description OF the
modes o. wearing n hat as indicative OF
character. lie concluded with q pathetic
ode to his old hat, which lie was about 10
lay aside for the new one. s<s. q:
Mr.. G.. Santini, of Louisiana, was pre-
scented with looking-glass as being inc
Vain Man" of college. His dress, man
ncr, and speech, were oil in Keeping WIN
the character he represented, and his frlenos
seemed to regard his effort q success.
Mr.. R. w. Preston,-a six-iooter'-o
Kentucky. received huge stick OF candy
os Ieinr the Little Man" of college. 1llF
gnecch had some very good things in it, and
,r,s yory well delivered, though he forgo:
that '.little folks should be seen ana no'
heard" and spoke rather TOO long. lDy-
the-wav, tlf4s fault was not confined TO Mr'
Preston. Some of the other speakers also
FORGOT that "brevity is the soul OF witt
and that where an audience has nine
snceohes to listen to all of them should be
short . $3.50,
Mr.. S. Clark, of Alabama, had. been
voted the "Lidies' Man." and received "a
carter" as his trophy. MIR. Clark's re-
spouse contained some very happy hats, and
cticited frequent applause.
Mr.. S. L. Ammcn, OF Fincastlc, Va, re
ccived the rocking chair as being the 6 Lazy
Nan, of collnyc AFR 3nmpn hos inst