Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1869-04-15

The oldest revolver--The earth.

If small by is lad, is big boy .
ladder?
A friendly suit-a Quakers' dress.
A smart thing--A mustard plaster.
1t is easier to blame than TO do better.
How to manage bachelOrs--Miss>mana
them.
He who blackens others does not whitcn
himself.
High masonry-A bricklsyer on FIVE
story building.
A Sure way to stop woman's mouth
Kiss it.
That life Is long that answers Iife's great
end.
There is no good in preaching TO the
ungry.
The man who lives for himself lives
for a mean fellow.
Short metre-The nearst way to your
sweethesrt's house.
What is that which is full of holes and
yet holds water'-A sponge.
Everywhere endeavor to be useful, and
everywhere you will be 1t home.
An cnraged man tears his hair; but an
enraged woman tears her husbands
There are various stations in life; but
the least desirable is poliee>station.
What word will make you sick if you
leave one of the letters Out! Music.
Looking-glasses won't lie, but they tell
some awful plain truths now and then,
Better pursue frivolous trade by seri>.
Gus means than sublime art ffifolously.
Providence has given us,hope and sleep
rs compensation for the many cares OF
life.
To-morrow.-The day when mlsers
give, when idlers work, and when sinners
reform.
A mind that is consious OF It's integ>
ritylscorns to say more than 1t means to
perform.
Idleness is hard work for those who are
not used to it, and dull work for those
who are.
Why is loafer in printing Office like
a shade tree? Because we are glad when
he leaves.
Why are gentlemen's letters so liable
to 60 astray? Because they are always
mis>directed,
Josh Billings he don't care how much
man talks if ee will only say 1t In few
| words.
Why is washerwoman the most cruel
person in the world? Because she daily
wrings men's bosoms.
Jones: Bridget, told you TO let me
have my hot water the first thing in the
morning.
Bridget; "Sure, ami didn't bring 1t up
and lave 1t al the durs last night, SO as to
be in time, sir."
Defer not charities til death. He who
does so is more liberal of another mans
substance than his own.
Why does minister have more wives
than any one else ? Because he often
marries couple at Q time.
| How to take a census of the children of
neighborhood. Employ an organgrind-'
er about five minutes.
When n man is out OF money, he shows
the least of it. When he is out of temper
he shows the most CT 1t.
Human glory is not always glorious
The best men have had their calumnia>
tors, the worst their panegyrists.
"I'm sitting on the style, Mary as tha
girl said when she pumped down On her
sisters new hat and feather.
The girl who sang "Oh, Charley is my
uarling.' saw him one night with another
feminine, and don't sing as much as she
did
Many Of our cares are but a morbid
way of looking at our privileges. We let
our blessings get mouldy, and then call
them curses
A negress, speaking OF one OF her child
rem who was lighter-colored than the rest
said, ''I nebber could bear dat brat. cause
he show dirt 80 easy
When Friendship is 10 be Valued
Value the friendship of him who stands
by you in the storm; swarms of insects
will surround you in the sunshine.
To enjoy life, you should be q little
miserable occasionally. Trouble, like
cayenne. is not very agreeable in itself,
bnt 1t gives great zest to other Times.
eeTheodore Hook was once punniny on
ia n es, and a getleman named Dunlap
dehe him to pun on his name. "Oh,,,
sold Hook, 'lay of half the name and 1t
The reason now 81 ven why A. ]. didn'
die as announced, is that the devil could
not spare him from his recruiting station
In Tennessee.
Bishop Ames, of the Methodist Church,
declared in a conference held at Alexan>
dria, Virginia, "tnat tobacco was doing
moro harm to the church than whisky.
The old saying is that if you have o
sister, love her, but if you have none, love
some body else's sister. The latter. 10
more strictly observed than the former.
This rule does not apply to other mems
wives.
The prosperity of the South is shown
by the high prices paid for labor and its
great scarcity. This state of affairs secures
the good treatment Of the freedmen far
more efectual than any legislation could.
Bronson Allcott differs with the St.
Louis Councilman who blamed Eve for
bringing wac upon the world. He thiuks,-