The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1869-12-10
Mark Twain's Idea Of a Good Letter:

no ioe' u'eiul ana interesting let
ters we get here from homo are from
children scven or eight years old.
This is petrifed truth. Happily
they have got nothing else to talk
about but home, aud neighbors, and
tamily-things their betters think un-
worthy of transmission thousands of
miles. They write simply and uatu-
rally, and without strain for effect
They tell all they know, and then
stop. Thoy seldom deal in abstrac-
tions or homilies. Consequently their
epistles are BRIEF but, treating "a
they do familiar scenes and persons,
always entertaining. Now, therefore.
if you would learn the art of letter.
writing leta child teach you. have
preserved a letter: from little girl
eight years Of age-preserved it as
curiosity, because it was the only lot
ter 1 ever got from the States that
had any information in it. It ran
thus
'!Sr. LOUIS, 1865
"Uncle Mark, if you was here I
could tell you about Moses in the bull
rushes again. I know it better now.
Mr.. Sowerby has got his leg broke off
horse. Hc was rididg it on Sunday.
Margaret, that's the maid. Margaret
has taken all tho spittoons and slop.
buckets and o!d jugs out of your
room, because she says sho don't
think you are coming back any more,
you been gone SO long. Sissy McEl-
roy,s mother has got another little
baby. She has them oil tho time.
it has got little blue eyes, like Mr..
Swinlcy that boards there, and looks
just like him. 1 have got new doll,
but JOHNNY Anderson pulled one of it's
legs out. Miss Dooscnbury was hero
10 day I give her your picture, but
she didn't want it. My cat has got
more kittens-oh! you can't think
twice as many as Lottie Beldens'
And there's one, such a sweet little
buff one with q short tail, and nam
cd it for you.
GAIL of them'e got names now
General Grant, and Halleck, and
Moses, and Margaret, and Deuterren-
omy, and Captain Semmes, and Exc
dus. and Leviticus, and Horace Gree
ley--all named but one. and am cav
ing it, because the ono named for
you's been sick all the time since, and
I reckon it'll die. 1T appears to have
besh mighty rough On the short-thil-
ed kitten, naming it for me. won
der how the reserved victim will stand
it, Uncle Mark, do believe. Hat
tie Caldwell likes you, and I know she
thinks you are pretty, because I
heard her say nothing could hurt
your good looks-nothing at all.
She said even if you were to have the
smallpox ever so bad you would be
just as good looking as you were be.
fore. And my ma says she's ever so
smart. [very.] So no more this
time, because General Grant and
Moses is fighting. ANNIE"
This child treads on my toes in ove-
ry other sentence with porfect loose
ness; but in the simplicity of her
time Of life she doesn't k..ow 1t
I consider that model letter-an
eminently readable and entertaining
letter-and, as I said before, it con-
tains more matter of interest and in
formation than any letter ever re-
ceived from tho East. had rather
hear about cats at home, and their
truly remarkable names than listen to
lot Of stuff about people I am not
acquainted with, or read "The Evil
Effects of tho Intoxicating Bowl" H.
lustrated on the back with the pic
ture of ragged scalawag getting
away right and left in the midst of
h;o fon,;l,, o;.oIa ,,;tb . ;,n1. k.4.,