The Van Buren press., 1869-09-07
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MISCELLANY.
How He Came to be Married.

1t may be funny, but I've done it. I've
got a rib and baby. Shadows departed
oyster stcws, brandy cock tails, cigar
boxes, oot.jacks, absconding shirt-bu
tons, whist and demijohn. Shadows
present-hoop skirts, bandboxes, gar
tcrs, long stockings, juvenile dresses, tin
trumpets, willow chairs, cradles, bibs,
sugar-teats, paragoric, squills, SIENNA,
salts, hive syrub, rhubarb, and doctors
bills. I'll just tell you how got caught.
was always the:darndest, most tea Gus
tard, bashful fellow you ever did see; it
was kinder in my line to be taken with
the shakes every time pretty gal ap.
preaching me, and I'd cross the street
any time rather than face one; twasn t
because | didn't like the critters. for if
was behind the fence looking through a
knot hole, could not look long enough.
Well, my sister Lib gavo party one
night, and started away from home, be-
cause | was too bashful to face the mu
sic. i hung around the house whistling
"Old Dan Tucker dancing to keep my
feet warm, watching the heads bob up
and down behind the window curtains,
and wishing the laundering party would
break up, SO | could get to my room. |
smoked up bunch of cigars, and it was
getting late and mighty uncomfortable,
and l concluded to shin up the door
post. No sooner said than done, and !
soon found myself snug in bed.
Now" says "let her rip! Dance
till your wind gives out" And cud
ding down under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me-
dreamed of soft-shell crabs and stew.
ed tripc, and having good time, when
somebody knocked at the door and woke
me up. " Rap" again. laid low. crap,
rap, rapw Then l heard whispering,
and knew there was whole raft Of gals
outside. Then Lib sings out:
Jack, are you there p
Yes says /.
"Thon came roar Of laughter.
"Let us ip," says she.
81 won't" said !. Cant you let n
fellow alonc?"
"Are you abcd"
81 am" says l.
"Get out" says she.
81 won't says |.
Then came another laugh.
BY thunder began to get riled.
"Get out, you petticoatcd scareerows y
cried |. Cant you get beau without
hauling fellow out of hcd7 ! went go
home with you'll won't, so you may
clear out -
And throwing boot at tho door !
felt better. But presently ! heard a still,
small voice, very much like sister Lbs,
and it said
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all
the girls things are there"
On, mercy, what pickle Think OF
nc, in bed, all covered with muiis, shawls
bonncts and cloaks, twenty girls outside
tho door, Wanting to get in! If / had
stopped to think | should have pancaked
on the spot. As it was l rolled on,
among the ribbons and bonnetware in a
hurry. Smash went the millinery in CIV.
cry direction. had to dres in the dark
for there was crack in the. door, and
girls will pccp--and the way ! fumbled
about was death on straw hats. The
critical moment came. ] opened the
door and found myself right among the
women.
"Oh, my lcnghorn." CRIED one. MY
dear, darling winter velvet" cried an.
other, and they pitched in--the pulled
me this way and that, boxed my ears, and
one little bright eyed piecc-Sal, hcl
namo wss--put her arms around my
neck, and kissed me right on the lips
Human nature could not stand that, snd
| gave her as good as she sent 1t WA
the first time ever got the taste, and i
was powerful good. ! believe ! could
have kissed that gal from Julius C9sal
to the Fourth ofJuly.
"Jack," said she, "wc are sorry tc
disturb you but wont you see m'
homo
"Ycs, will,' said |. ......
did do it, and had another smack a
the gate.
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