davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
.eNpTHING IN the PAPER,

An exchange has the following spi-
cy chapter on the subject of newspa-
pers elected by the stereotyped re-
mark Of indifferent readers, after
scanning the "miniature world" of a
daily issue of news, that there is moth
ing in the paper. 1t says
Some are always grumbling about
their papers, and insinuating how
much better they could do it. They
talk as aippantly about 'fine articles"
on every imaginable subject as if they
could effect such change. Let some
of those oYerfowing philosophers try
1t for one hundred and fifty days in
succession.
And then they think it is nothing to
"select" for newspaper-you have
merely to run the scissors through a
half dozen exchanges and you have
got matter enough. Now this is the
most important and difficult depart
ment to fill on newspaper. Very
few men have tha> slightest idea how
the work is done. 1t requires a thor
ough newspaper man-who knows the
public appetite welI-who knows what
is going on in the world-and who
knows how to rewFite and pack coll
umn into dozen lines.
Men who can skim newspaper and
toss it aside, little reflect how much
brains and toll are expended in SER
Wing up that meal. Busy heads and
busy hands have been toiling all day
to gather and prepare those viands,
and some vast building has been lit
from garet TO celler all night to get
the paper ready by the crack of dawn.
Nothing in the paper ~ Nothing
in your head that's what's the mat.
| ter.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
THE CHRISTIAN GENTLEMAN.

A distinguished writer, in one of his
books, thus describes the Christian
gentleman:
He is above a mean thing.
He cannot stoop to do mean fraud.
He evades no secret in the keeping
of another he betrays no secret con-
fided to his own keeping.
He never struts in borrowed plum
age.
He never takes selfish advantage of
our mistakes.
He uses no ignoble weapons in con-
troversy.
He never stabs in the dark,
He is ashamed of innuendoes.
He treats all persons alike, and al
ways as equals.
He is not one thing to mans face
and another behind his back.
If by accident he comes into possess
sion of his neighbor's counsels, he pas
ses upon them an act of instant obliv-
ion.
lie bears sealed packages without
tampering with the wax.
Papers not meant for his eye, wheth-
er they fiutter at the window or lie o.
pen before him in unguarded exposure,
are sacred to him.
He invades no privacy of others,
however the sentry sleeps.
Bolts and bars, locks and keys, pick
cts and hedges, bonds and securities
are not for him.
He may be trusted out of sight, near
the thinnest partition, anywhere.
He buya no offices, he sells none, in
trigues for none,
He would rather fail of heights than
win them by dishonor.
He will eat honest bread.
He insults no man.
He loves his home, and delights to
make all around him happy.
He will'not treat any living thing
with cruelty.
If he have rebuke for another, he is
straight forward, open, manly.
In short, whichever he judges honor
able he practices toward every man.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

A Good old Massachusetts doctor
met sexton in the street one day.
After the usual salutations, the doctor
began to cough,
"Why, DOCTOR" said the sexton,
''you have got cold. How long have
you had that?'
"Look here, Mr.. Sexton" said the
doctor, with show of Indignation,
"what is your charge of interment? ?"
"One dollar" was the reply.
"Well, continued the doctor, 'sjust
come into my Office, and I will pay it.
I don't want to have you around, SO
anxious about my health.i
The sexton was even with him,
however, turning round to the doc
tor, he replied:
"Ah, doctor, cannot afford to bury
you yet. Business has never been so
good as it has been since you began to
practice"
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
Bridget, what did the mistress say
she would have for dinner?"

bridget, what did the mistress say
she would have for dinner ?"
'tBroil the lobster"
"Broil the lobster! Are you sure,
Bridget ?'
ENTIRELY; get the gridiron."
Mary got the gridiron and placed it
on the fire. She then placed the live
lobster on the gridiron. Internission
of five minutes, after which the dia-
logue was resumed as follows:
''Did you broil that lobster, Mary ?"
'sDivil the broil! The more pok-
cd the fire the more he walked off.
The baste's haunted; I'll try no more.
No good will come from cooking
straddlebug like that"
'And where is the lobster?n
''Divil bit know! The last saw
of him he was going ont the back door
with his tail at half mast, like wild
maniac that he was
Bridget started In pursuit OF the
wild maniac and was still after him
when our informant left.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
A GENTS WANTED FOR
CHAM ERLIN
l. b
A o
w O

FOR THE PE0 P L E
CoNrAISISa Full Instructions and Practical
Forms adapted to Every Kind of Business, and
10 all the States of the Union.
BY FRANKLIN CHAMBERLIN
Of the United States Bar.
esThere is no book of the kind which will take
rank with il for authenticity, intelligence, and
completeness. ."-Sprangtieid (Mass) Repn6ii-
can.
This is the Only New Book of the kind pdb-
lished for many years 1t is prepared by an
able Practical Lawyer, oftwenty five years ex-
perience, and is just what everybody needs for
daily
ms kIghi9 recomnss1tded 69 many smtBsnt
.Jt,dgss iueinatug The Chief Jashes and other
Jedges Of M1ssachHsetts, and The ChIef Justlce
and entire BsReh Of Connecticut.
Sold only by Subscription Agents Wanted
Everywhere. Send for Circulars
o. D. CASE Il Co, Publishers Hartford,
Conn; No. Spruce St, New York Cincinnati,
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c A q Z %
An old law-book, published many years ago
has tust been hastily re-issued new book -
without even suitable revision Of rs obsolete
statements Do not eonfound that work with
CHAMBaRLIN s LAW Book FOR THE PEOPLE
uy30m6.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
Chr gedford GazettR
LAY rnE oLDEN TIME.

n
One morning of the first sad fall,
Poor Adam and his bride
Sat in the shade of Eden's wall
But on the outer side.
She, blushing in her fg-leaf suit
For the ehaste garb of old
He, signing o'er its bitter fruit
For Eden's grapes of gold.
Behind them, smiling in the morn,
Their forfeit garden lay;
Before them. wild with rock and thorn,
The desert stretched away.
They heard the air above them famed,
light step on the sward,
And 10 they saw before ther. stand
The angel of the Lord
aArise, he said, ewhy look behind,
When hope is all before,
And patient hand and willing mind
Your loss may yet restore
~ leave with you spell whose power
Can make the desert glad,
And call around You fruit and flower
As fair as Edne had.
sI clothe your hands with power to lift
The curse from off your soil
Your very doom shall seem a gift.
Your loss a gain through toll.
$50 cheerful as yon humming bees,
To labor as to play
While glimmering over Eden's trees,
The angel passed away.
The pilgrims of the world went forth
0bedient to the word,
And found where'er they titled the earth,
garden of the Lordi
The thorn tree cast its evil fruit
And bInshed with pluin and pear,
And seeded grass and tr9dden root
Grew sweet beneath taeircare
We share our primal parents fate,
And in our turn and day
Look back on Eden's sworded gate
As sad and lost as they.
But still fer Us his native skies
The plying angel leaves,
And leads through toll to Paradise
New Adams and new Ewes.
-WhtHier.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

A farmer going to get his grist
ground at mill, borrowed a bag of
one of his neighbors. The poor man
was knocked into the water-wheel,
and the bag went with him. He was
drowned; and when the melancholy
news was brought to his wife, she ex-
claimed, ''My gracious! what fuss
there'll be about that bag !"
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

At a recent funeral in New York
the band which attended the corpse
to the grave, played the lively tune of
Cup in balloon" and on returning
from the cemetery played "When
Johnny comes Marching Home A.
paiu.D
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

FoR CHAPPED HANDs.-Wash the
hands well, and, without using tow
ell, apply small quantity of honey
and rub in well. Use once a day, and
it will make the hands very soft, and
cure as well as prevent chapped hands.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

My dear, what shall We name Bub?'
"Why, husband, / have settled ON the
name of Peter"
"oh, DON'T" he replied, 81 never
liked Peter, for he denied his faaster."
"Well, then," replied the wife.
"what name do you like? ?"
81 should like the name of Joseph"
''Oh, not that" replied she, 81 can't
bear Joseph, for he denied his mis-
tress,r
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

head just as he was in the midst of
triumphant "Ye-ow! I"
When lights were brought the cat
had DISAPPEARED, but the catastrophe
was in opposite corners of the room,
with heels in the air, swearing blue
streaks.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Everything was lately in readiness
for the marriage of a Cairo lady, but
the groom came not. After hours of
waiting, a dispatch was received which
read: f'Have TO wait till next week,
my wife has overhauled me.n
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

1t is singular fact, and one not gen
orally known, that Washington drew
his last breath in the last hour of the
last day of the last week in the last
month Of the year, and in the last year
of the century. He died on Saturday
night, II O'Clock, December 3lst, 1899.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

AT parish examination a clergy
man asks a charity boy if he had ever
been baptized. "No, SIR" is the re-
ply. mot as l knows of; but I've been
eroa-jSoafoII -
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Wont you take half of this poor
apple ?" asked pretty damsel. mo,
j thank you, would prefer a better
half" Eliza blushed and referred him
to papa,
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

A little girl got to school in DAN
bury, Connecticut, the otiIer morning
just as it commenced, and her teacher
said, ''You are just in time, SUISSE"
Then, turning to the other scholars,
she asked, SIN time for what chill
dren ?" A hand signifled he had soly-
ed the problem. swell, Thomas,
just in time for what? "Lanigan's
ball !" shouted the promising youth.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Love in the Indian language, is.
Observation-Disclosures 1t must
be quite an undertaking to tell squaw
that you love her.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

At a railway station an old LADY said
to very pOmpous looking gentleman,
who was talking about steam commu,
nication, Pray, sir, what is steam 81
Steam, ma'am, is--ah steam is
steam. 4 know that chap couldn't tell
you,' said rough looking fellow.
standing by; but steam is bucket OF
water in a tremendous perspiration,'
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

An ill-natured editor says ladies all
use paint, and he sets his face against
it.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

An Irishman, writing from the West
to friend, remarked; "Rork is so
plenty here that every third man you
meet is hog.''
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
T A T f S T S Il YLE S
WINTER GOODS

MRS. E. V. MOWRY
Has just returned from Philadelphia and New
York, and now opened stock Of the latest styles
IMILLINERY, DRY GOODS, FANCY
NOTIONS, &c, SC.
All of which will be sold at very short Profits
Bedford Oet2Sm3
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03


A gentleman about town'' Is one
who pays cash for everything except
his debts.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Mr. Quilp encourages lotteries on
grounds of fine arts-they learn people
to draw.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

A poor fellow who pawned bis
watch said that he raised money with
a lever.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Why is your nose i'm the middle OF
your face? Because it is the scenter.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
HUMOROUS.

Why are bushes like little girls 2
because they become women.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Should your old acquaintances be for
ot?-Not If they have money.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

kOne square to occupy one inch OF space
JOB PRINTING, of every kind, done with
neatness and dispatch. THE GAZETTE OFFICE has
lust been refitted with Power Press snd new type,
and everything in the Printing line can be execu-
ted in the most artistic manner and at the lowest
rates. es.-TERMS CASH.
EsPAll letters should be ADDRESSED TO
MEYERS Il MEEGEL,
Publishers.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

30 Ok st % r e,
opposite the Mengel House,
BEDFORD, PA
The proprietor takes pleasure in Offering to the
public the following articles belonging to the
Book Business, at CITY RETAIL PRICES;
MISCELLANEOUS BOOKS.
NOV ELS.
BIBLES, HYMN BOOKS, &C:
Large Family Bibles,
Small Bibles,
Medium Bibles
Lutheran Hymn Books
Methodist Hymn Books,
Smiths Dictionary of the Bible,
History of the Books of the Bible,
Pilgrims Progress, &c, &c, &c.
Episcopal Prayer Books,
Presbyterian Hymn Books,
SCHOOL BOOKS.
TOY BOOKS.
STATIONERY,
co,grss. Legal,
Record. Fooiseap,
letter Congress Letter,
Sermon, Commercial Note,
Ladies Gilt Ladies' Octave
Mourripg French Note,
Bath Post Damask Laid Note,
Cream Laid Note Envelopes, &c.
WALL PAPER.
Several Hundred Different Figures, the Largest Lar
lot ever brought to Bedford county. for
sale at prices CHEAPER THAN
EVER SOLD in Bedford.
BLANK BOOKS.
Account Books Cash Books,
Pocket Ledgers Time Books,
Tuck Me@orandums, Pass Books,
Money Books, Pocket Books,
Blank Jud gment Notes, drafts, receipts, DC
INKS AND INKSTANDS.
Barometer Inkstands,
Gutta Percha,
Cocoa, and
Morocco Spring Pocket Inkstands,
Glass and Ordinary Stands for Schools,
Flat Glass Ink Wells and Rack,
Arnolds Writing Flrids,
H0vers Inks,
Carnine Tnks. Purple Inks,
Charlton's Inks,
EakoIon for pasting, &c.
PENS AND PENCILS.
Hoiiowbush t'1SS & carey's, Payson,
DuntOn, and scrlbner 5 ems,
Clark 5 Indelhble, taoer 1aolet,
Cohens Eagle,
Office, Fabers
Guttkneehts, Carpenters Pencils
PERIODICALS.
Atlantic Mon hIy,
Harpers Magazine,
Madame Demorest's Mirror of Fashions,
Electic Magazine,
Godeys Lady's Book,
Galaxy,
Lady's Friend,
Ladies Repository,
Our Young Folks,
Nick Max,
Yankee Notions,
Budget of Fun,
Jolly Joker
Phunny PheIIow,
Lippineott's Magazine
Riverside Magazine,
Wavery Magazine,
Ballou 5 Magazine,
GardneT's Monthly,
Harper's Weekly
rank Lesiie7s illustrated,
Chimney Corner,
New York Ledger,
New York Weekly,
Hsrper's Bazar,
Every Saturday,
Living Age,
Putnam Monthly Magazine,
Arthurs Home Magazine,
Oliver Optics Boys and Girls Magazine &c.
Constantly on hand to aeeOmodate those who want
to purchase living reading matter.
Only part Of the vast number Of articles per-
tanning to the Book and Stationery business
which we are prepared to sell cheaper than the
cheapest are above enumerated. Give US call
We buy and sell for CASH, and by this arrange
ment we expect 20 sell as cheap as COOS Of this
class sold anywhere
Ion
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

Brick Pomeroy says: "The editor
of the Tribune takes his defeat as a
blind pig takes its milk, without a
grunt or a squeal. We like Horace.
God didn't make that noble head of
his for nothing. The Democratic ma
jority that rained down upon him in
this city didn't startle him a wink-no
more than trickling molasses ever a
stove griddle or warm rain would set
in a tremor the statue of Washington
at Union Square"
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
TERMS OF PUBLICATION.

FHEBEDFoRD GAZETTE is published every Thurs
dav morning by MEYERS 4 MENsEL, at S2.Oe per
annum, If paid strictly IN aduanes 81 80 ifpaid
within six months; $500 if not paid within six
months Al subscription accounts MUST be
settied annually. No paper win be sent out OF
the State unless paid for IN ADVANCE, and all such
Inscriptions will invariably be discontinued al
the expiration of the time for which they are
aid
All ADVERTISEMENT for less term fhan
three months TEN CENTS per line for each In
sertiop Special notices one-half additional All
ssoIutions Of AssociatIons communications OF
United or individual interest, and notices of mar
riages and deaths exceeding five lines, TEN cents
per line. Editorial notices fifteen cents perline-
6HlegaL Notices Of egery kind, and Orphans
Court and Jtdie,et Sales, are required By lar
be published IA both papers pas6ftSsed sn tAis
place
~ All advertising due after first insertion
A liberal discount is made topersons advertising
I
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03
Atisfellaneaas.

THE INQUIRER
B 0 O X S T o r E,
opposite the Mengel House,
BEDFORD, PA.
The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-03

The proprietor takes pleasure in Offering to the
public the following articles belonging to the
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1869-03-26
Tenure.oEOmce Act.

The repeal or suspension of this Act has
become temporarily the question of the
hour in Washington City. The latest
count gives twenty nine Senators for repeal
and thirty-two for suspension, with two
Democrats absent from sickness. The par
ties are divided as follows: For Suspen-
sion, Radicals "a Carpet-baggers 3. For
Repeal, Democrats s, Radicals II, Carpet
baggers 4. Doubtful, Radicals 1. Carpet
baggers 1. Senator Pool is put down in
favor of repeal As to Senator Abbott, the
following extract from the correspondence
of the New York World will give his re-
ported position, as we'll as other matters Of
interest:
sIf the list errs, anyTse, it is in giving the re-
pealers too many namts The four carpet-pag-
gers are very uncertain, and may leave Ir. Nor
ton in the lurch. On the other hand, there is a
report that all these carpet-baggers are TO vote
for repeal except Schurz, sawyer and warner,
who have unhspplly made speeches. inc otne1
way, in fulfllment Of debt OF gratitude, owed
the Indiana Senator, for having pressed the pay
ment OF them in full as of the whole session of
the FortIeth Congress. 1t is understood, how,
ever, that the ms money is more than the outs
promises, and thst the carpet baggers look on
repeal as "lost cause" The repealers. how
ever expect their twenty nine votes will be
enough, because they anticipate that several sus-
penders will dodge at the last moment. There IS
no evidence, however, to establish this, and all
win probably be whipped in in time. The doubt
full, Messrs. Anthony and Abbott, are the subjects
of an immense pressure tonight, and are claimed
by both sides. Their going Tor repeal, however,
still makes one more vote necessary, II all the
thirty-two suspenders toe the mark. Mr.. An
thony is likely to vote for suspension, and Mr..
abbott for repeal. The election of the former to
the Presidency pro tenn, OF the Senate. makes him
nervous about offending his stern suspender as
sociates. Mr. Abbott, besides having been in
structed by the North Carolina Legislature to go
Dagger, and his desire to rebut the presumption
of being bought up by the ins inclines him to-
wards repeal"
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1869-03-26
Inn migration Meeting.

We hope our people will not forget that
the meeting of the Carolina Immigration
Association will be held in Goldsboro', on
Friday, the I'd of April next. The Will
mington and Weldon Railroad will pass
free, going and RETURNING, those who may
pass over it on this occasion expressly to
attend the meeting and aid it's objects.
This will be a most important occasion,
and we trust it is fully realized by those
interested. The Agents of this Association
are now in Europe, and haze already for
warded emigrants. Others will be rapidly
embarked, and there seems now no imped-
iment towards making this movement a
complete success. but the united effort
OF our people to give it helping hand
We look for practical results from the
Goldsboro' meeting, and trust to see a
large crowd in attendance.
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1869-03-26
paper
The Rallroad Mania and the People

For one reason or another, interested or
disinterested, patriotic or selfish, honest or
dishonest, perfect mania to appropriate
money to build railroads, with discretion
and without discretion, has seized upon a
large majority of the members of the pres
emit Legislature of North Carolina. Doubt
less some are Influenced by the patriotic
purpose of developing the hidden resour-
ces OF the State and eventually adding to
its wealth. However honest such may be
in their aim, they certainly do not consid-
er the extreme poverty of our people
Thousands of those now struggling for q
livelihood, and who will be entirely ruined
by the onerous taxes which these appro-
priations will entail, are as anxious as the
members of the Legislature to see railroads
built and all sections of the State provided
with cheap and speedy transportation to
market. A few years of good harvests,
after quiet has been restored and our labor
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1869-03-26
Northern Visitors.

A large party of Northern capitalists,
some of them gentlemen of distinction, are
making preparations to visit the South at
an early day. They will stop in this city.
Tho object of these gentlemen is to seek
investments at the South, and to report
upon the condition of the country and the
feelings of the people. So far as our c1ti-
zens are concerned We know they will re-
ceive a warm welcome. We shall be glad
to see them, and hope they may be pleased
with their visit. ..........
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1869-03-26
Provisional Governments not Recognized

Provisional Governments not Recognized.
The Jackson (Miss.) Clarion says that
Mr. I'll. Spengler having in France. pat
rimony which he wished to realize, made
to Rev. Paul Huber power of attorney to
receive the fund in France. 1t was anthem
ticated, and the certificate under the great
seal of Mississippi was signed "Adelbert
Ames, Bv't Maj. Gen. U. S. A., Prov
Gov'r of Miss" The document was pre-
sented by Father Huber to the French
Consul at New Orleans. Alter having
partly written his consular certificate lie
observed the above signature to the Gov
ernor's certificate, and refusing to recog-
nize the Provisional Governor, he declined
to give his official certificate.