davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
A Ride with a Lunatic.

The pleasures of railway travelling in Eng
land are vivdly illustrated by the following in
cident which happened on a line near London:
A young lady got into a second class car
riage, whore she was soon joined by gentle
man about thirty years old, whose manner
seemed very strange and excited. They were
alone in the carriage.
As soon as the train started, this man got
up all of a sudden, and began by throwing his
carpet-bag out of the window, saying:
This carriage is much too heavy. Come,
we must tighten it as much as possible"
He then sat down again, but jumped up in a
minute after, screaming out:
I" It's too heavy It's too heavy u
And, so saying, he sent his coat out of the
window to join the carpet bag, then away went
his waistcoat, his cravat and his shoes
He then sat down, and appeared to be think
ing profoundly. All of a sudden he turned
toward the young girl, who was as frightened
as possible, and said:
"On your knees, Madam, on your knees
We will pray for the Duke Of Gloucester
And he knet down.
The poor girl Immediately obeyed him. The
stranger then began praying fervently for the
Duke of Gloucester, then for the Duke of St
Alban's, then for the Duke of York-in a
word, for all the Dukes in Great Britain and
Ireland.
He then sat down again. The young lady
more dead than alive, was in a corner of the
carriage, prey to the most profound terror.
Nevertheless this strange person soon begar
to feel less quiet
6 This can't go on" he said; "it is really
much too heavy-much too heavy. The tralT
will soon have to stop-it won't be able to gC
on. Come now, we must tighten it. One O
us must get out. | won't so supposing yol
jul p out of the window IL
And he walked resolutely up to the covering
girl. ~
But she said to him, crying:
"Oh, sir, do stay for one moment; we'v'
not yet prayed for the Duke of NOrthumber
land u
g You are right, we had forgotten him. o.
your knees, and let's pray for the Duke o
Northumberland r. :.
They were still in deep prayer when the trai'
arrived at the station, and the young girl fain
ted in the arms of some friends who wer
waiting for her.
Her companion was arrested, and soon re
cognized as lunatic who had escaped from
Hanwell.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

mansons, where hired nurses care for little
ones, these drawers are not so richly freighted,
but in the homes cf the poor-yes, and in some
of the homes of the rich, they hold more than
tongue can tell
Then, let us love our little ones more. Let
us always speak kindly to them. Then they
will love us, and try to do right And if we go
home to rest in the beautiful land before they
go, they will love our memories and SO live as
to meet US. As yet we have no bureau drawer
over which to weep-God grant we never may
have But we often think of those who have
and wonder if those who mourn were kind to
the little ones whose mounds are in the church
yards, but whose playthings are folded and pu-
away as is our work for this Saturday night.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
POet1Y.
LAST WORDS.

Can you not love me2 I hear not, in vain,
But 1t comes suddenly crushing out pain
Just for little WHILE Dear let speak
No, not to pain you, All think you seek
Balm in your pain-in your pain for my owni
Joy would give you, but grief bear alone
Hide from you. What if my heart ache and smartH
Let it. What matter?-it is but my heart;
And If my heart is any way dear
TO me, it is that your image is here.
Thoughts of one least little pain that you bore
Through though sweet, would but make my pain
Love seeks not self, dear; 1 seek only you;
You in your happness-would have you true
Thus to your heart. Oh, be happy for 1
Live in your light, in your darkness would die
Blame not yourself, who give nothing to me,
When give all to you. Love is wind-free
Blows where 1T lists and hearts cannot be bought
No. not by love; Sc the love have sought
You cannot give ME. No, no, do not grieve,
Fer you give greatly. All see and believe
All have dreamed, of pure, gentle and high,
All fair, and sweet. you have shown to my eye;
Made me believe the good, worship it too
Love it. and follow it, following yOul
Greye not for me, for my wound win be healed
Some way know not; some hope be revealed
Out of this loneliness longing. some bliss
Issue, that never had been but for this!
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

AFRAID OF LIGHTNING w ashington Irving
and Lewis Gaylord Clark, while walking near
Sleepy Hollow, were overtaken by storm;
there was great laundering aud lightning, and
Mr.. Irving took refuge under tree, asking his
companion:
"Why don't you come in here and be as
comfortably housed as | amp
Il darent do it, my dear sir, replied Mr..
Clark, " am afraid Of lightning. My father
was once nearly killed by it while standing un-
der tree in thunder storm, and he always
enjoined it upon his twin boys never to do the
like"
oh" said Mr.. Irving "That alters the
case Iflightning runs in your family, COM
mend your caution.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A CALM REpLY.-A well-known farmer in
New Jersey bears the reputation of being a
" free thinker" and is consequently the sub
ject of much solicitude to the village clergy
man.
Not long since he was taken sick, and, being
quite old and feeble, his recovery was consider
ed matter of doubt, and the visit of the min
lister was desired by his family. After the usu-
al friendly greetings were over, the elergymen,
to introduce the object of his visit, remar ked:
Friend W., you are now getting to be an
old man, and have lived careless life; would
it not be we'll to take the present opportunity
to make your peace with God p
Lord bless your soul!' replied the feeble
old man. He and l hasn't never had no tai
lin out yetl'
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A young man at Logansport, Indiana, sued
a barber for spelling his moussache, claiming
6tty dollars damages. The labial ornament
was a week and sickly affair, with q dreadful
lack of color, The hair dresser was to die it for
twenty five cents, but on the application OF the
washes the moustaehe was destroyed, half of il
coming off in washing his face before leaving
the shop The next day his lip was smooth
and hairless, but swelled fearfully and of a very
disagreeable hue For lack of funds to deposit
as security for costs in he lost the suit the
young man was compelled to abandon his
scheme of revenge against the barber, whose
defence was that the hide wouldn't hold the
hair.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A melancholy little incident is related Of the
ex. Empress Charlotte. This unfortunate Prin-
cess has been staying for some time, at Spa.
The other day she insisted with such vehemence
on playing at roulette that it was impossible
to restrain her On approaching the table she
deliberately placed gold piece on the number
10. The Emperor Maximilian was shot on
June 10. The wheel turned, and, though q
chances were against her, she won. She smll-
ed sadly took up the money, and quietly left the
room. On her way out poor man passed
by. She gave him all the money, with the
Injunction that he was to pray for her" 1t
is known that the EmpTres: Charlotte nev>r pro-
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

LEMONS FOR FEvER-When persons are
feverish and thirsty beyond what is natural,
indicated in some cases by metallic taste in
the mouth especially after drinking water, or
by whitish appearance of the greater part of
the surface of the tongue, one of the best cool
ers, internal and external, is to take a lemon,
cut off the top, sprinkle over it some loaf sugar.
working it downward into the lemon with a
spoon, and then suck it slowly, squeezing the
lemon and adding more sugar as the acidity in
creases from being brought up from a lower
point. Invalids with feverishness may take
two or three lemons day in this manner with
the most mari ked benefit manifested by sense
of GOODNESS, comfort and invigoratiOn. A lem
on or two thus taken at =" tea time" as an
entire substitute for the ordinary supper of
summer, would give many comfortable night S
sleep and an awakening after rest and invigor-
alton with an appetite for breakfast to which
they are strangers who will have their cup of
tea, or supper of relish and cake and
berries, or peaches and cream.-HaUs journal
of HEALTH
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
The SulIxs.

The sulky being sometimes wears depressed,
spiritless, and utterly detected appearance, as
though crushed and heart broken by long con
tiuued oppression; sometimes heavy, dis
pleased, dragging step, and black and lower
ing brow are the chief signs which indicate the
disturbance within, and the form of vengeance
which is to be taken in regard to it. The lat
ter Is the masculine type the former Is, pro-
pery speaking, feminine. 1t is curious, and,
to some, Will appear an unaccountable clrcum-
stance, that in sulkinesS woman is more often
possessed with dumb devil than is a man.
Sulkiness is visible in the nursery, where it
exists, SO to speak, in the form OF bud but
it is merely an outbreak Of lad temper, tor at
that age child has not learned the method of
using it as an instrument with which to punish
his playmates. And the wiseSt way is to leave
it entirely unnoticed, to ''efface the oheRder,
as the French say until there is an obvious
return to a mole amiable disposition. But
boys and girls soon learn to estimate the power
of sulkiness, either by practice or endurance,
and large school is the best check on dispo-
sition of this kind SulkineSs is not tyranny
which can be safely exercised in society at large,
and it is commonly reserved for private OIL
home exhibition. The smaller the circle the
more concentrated its force in family, in a
house, in a room, the power of sulkiness Op
presses, searches and pervadeS every corner O
it. In ve-making sulkinesS is deplorablt
blunder. Smile or strike, or smile and strike
too, if that seems more advisable; but no gooC
ever follows a sul'en enmity, which chills, dis
concerts, and often actually destroys love-
Even that simulated sulkiLess, that toothles
vengeance, which consists in pouting coldness
, is an experiment full of danger, and in tn
, worst possible taste. But if between lovers
is a blunder, in married life it is simply th
greatest madness of which a human being ca
be guilty There they are, man aud woma
= yoked together like goats, and as the country
man justly observed, that been a trouble t
s more than goats" and if either of them is Ell
: dowed with the faculty Of persistent sulkines
r may be made to lead.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

One day last week, says the Demopolis Re
publican, an individual of the African persua-
sion entered the office of the Probate Judge in
that city, when the following dialogue ensued:
:" Is dis de place whar dey gifts license for to
ried two years ago wild license, and now my
wife done gone and rund away and left me,
and / want to git my name scratched off,
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A minister once prayed in the pulpit that
"the Lord would bless the congregation as
sembled, and that portion of it which was on
its way to church, and those who were at home
getting ready, aud that, in his infinite patience,
he would grant the benediction to those who
that" The congregation came in time after
that
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

An odd instance of the power of "Clairvoy-
ance " recently occurred in Providence. r. 1.
An unfortunate lady lost pearl of great price.
"Clairvoyant No. said it was in the ash
barrel. Clairvoyant No. 2 said it was in
the yard. The ashes are sifted, and no pearl
found The yard is searched, and still no
pearll Finally, the missing gem is sought for,
without the aid of clairvoyance," under the
kitchen floor, and is found. Now, if either
being one chance in several million of such
happy conjecture-there would have been nine
ty aud nine converts Immediately, who would
all have believed and trembled, who would
have talked nonsense about the sweet, flores.
cent, sempiternal spheres, aud have expected
the noisiest evening visits from their great
grand mothers.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

After some opposition, some Hartford par
daughter with youth whose pretentons they
had not favorably regarded. The ceremony
was all arranged, guests assembled, and the
minister about to commence, when the young
man announced that nothing more was necesa
ry as he had married the girl three weeks ago !
The result was a surprise party Of large dimen-
SioDs. .tf s.t...
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

1t is curious to notice how Brigham Young
professions vary on various occasions. 1t has
been generally understood that he defended
polygamy upon the ground of a special revea-
ton from God commanding its establishment !;
aud yet, in his palaver with Judge Trumbull
he said "Polygamy was not originally part
of our system, but was adopted by us as a me-
cessity after we came here" Not word was
said of Divine commandment, but the Judge
was left to infer that the harem was set on foot
because Utah needed population. In saying
this, Young was probably considerably more
sincere than if he treated Judge Trnmbull to
nonsensical discourse couched in some alb
surd parody of scriptural phraseolOgy. We
incompatible arguments in support of his
system "-one for each of the secular days
of the week and two for Sunday.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A NOVEL INSTANCE OF GENEROsITY.-A
colored man in this city some eighteen years
ago bought his freedom of his master, and,
working hard, early and late, soon was able to
buy his wife, He has been prospering since,
and he now owns the finest livery and hack
at about $5O,0OO. His old master, who, at the
time of the evacuation of Richmond, was worth
half a million, became ruined. The former
slave, being apprised of the misfortunes of his
old master, took him to his own house and gave
him everything he desired. Shortly after this
the old man died. His funeral was large and
expensive one, and he was born to lot in the
cemetery paid for by his old slave, who also
paid for the funeral outlay. Over HIM was
raised handsome monument, paid for with
the colored mans money. The widow of the
deceased slaveowner lives in house presented
by the colored man, who also supplies her with
every comfort. rt.-Richmond Journal.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A man who lately sued lady for breach Of
promise was offered $500 to settle.
"What!" he cried, 1.-TWO hundred dollars
for ruined hopes, a shattered mind, blasted
life and bleeding heart Never, never just
make it three hundred and it's bargain.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A theort tically benevolent man on being
asked by friend to lend him dollar, answer
ed briskly, With pleasure" )" but suddeniy
one lending dollar, and that is out ;"
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

An Irishman noticing lady pass down the
street spied two strips, depending from under
her mantle Not knowing that they were
styled "sashes,' and were hanging in their
right place, he exclaimed:
" And faith, ma am, your galluses are un-
tied" =
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

"Mammyl" said a precocious little boy.
who. against his will, was made to rock the
cradle of his baby brother, "if the Lord has
any more babies to give away, don't you take
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A convict who was about to be sent to the
house of correction, was told they would put
him to picking oakum. ii ..,4
LET 'em try it, said he, =" III tear the
thing TO piecest" 1t
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A Western paper, describing a funeral pro-
eession, said "The procession was very fine.
and nearly two miles in longth. as was also the
prayer of DIR. Perry, the chaplain. -as
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A bore meeting Douglass Jerrold, said ,sr
well, what's going on to day?'' ...r,...,
81 am exclaimed Jerrold, darting past the
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

Olive Logan compliments Mrs. Grant for not
wearing low neeked dress like " the shame
fully immodest woman about her" d -.s
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

A paregoric wedding is the latest novelty.
1t usually takes place about the end Of the
first year.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
WHOLE NO. 755
JOSH BILLINGS ON MILK.-There are va

JOSH. BILLINGS ON MILK. are va
rious kinds of milk.
There is sweet milk, sour milk, skim mil,
butter milk, cow milk, and the milk ov human
kindness, but mostest best milk is the milk that
hazzent the least water in it. Butter milk r.
zent the best for butter =,
want to say sumthing in reference to milk
as fertilizer.
Milk iz spontaneous, and has done more 10
encourage the growth of human folks than en-
ny other liquid.
Milk IL mistereus. Cokernut milk's never
been solved yet.
Milk IL also another name for humane kind
ness.
Sometimes, if milk iz allowed to stand too
long a scum rises to the surface, but 1t dozzent
foer that milk IL nasty. This scum IL cailed
kreme.
Kreme IL the parent ov butter, and butteri IL
70 cents pound.
Milk IL obtained from cows hogs, wOodchux,
cats, rats, sheep, squerriis, and ali other am
mails that have hair. Snaix and geese do ut
give milk
forgot to state in konklu~ion that COW milk,
if well watered, brings ten cents per quart.
How OLD Is HE?-It became necessary,
last week, in the Criminal Court at Newport,
KY, in order to render boy witness compe-
tent, to prove that he had reached the age OF
ten years, and his mother, an Irish woman, was
called for that purpose.
How old is your son John?" quoth the
lawyer.
"Indade, sir, dunno, but think he's not
tin yet" was the reply.
Ibid you make no record of his birth p
"The praste did, in the ould country, where
he was born.
How long after your marriage was that 2"
, "About year; may be less.
| "When were you married p
/ "Dade, sir, dunno"
did YOU not bring certificate of your mar
} riage with you from the old cOuntry?'
"Hey, sir and what should ] made wild q
certifket whin had the old man himself alons
: wild me ?"
No further questions were asked.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
Hoofland's German Bitter

HOOFT,AND'S GERMAN TONIC
npaied by la. G. M. JACKSON,
PHILADELPHIA PA
Thihy.6ve years since they were FIRST introduce
10 this country from Germany, dnTing which time
icy have undoubtedly performed more cures. anu
sneitled h4eing humanity "a reaier extent lhaI
~ Ohet remedies known to The pubIIc
These remedies will eHeeIdaIIy cure Liver
Onplsinl Jaundi c e M VOyspeP Psla, ChronIe OF
isiyou, Debility. hr &V ono DIarrhea DIsense
ilhe Kidneys and All Diseases arising from a
gIuiIered Liver, Stomach or 'ntestInes.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
DEBILITY.

sailing IRON any cause Whatever; PrOsiraiIUh OF
he System. Indnced by Severe labor, Hard
ships, Exposure, Fevers &c.
There is medicine eKIanI equal 10 these rene
Hm such cases lOhe and vIgOr rs Impaired To
lShOle sysleni the appetite Is strengthened, food
Hgoyed the stomach dIgests properly, the blood Is
hhed, the com pie XIOn becomes sound and healthy,
'IsllOw luge is eradicaled from the eyes, bloom
pseR to the cheeks. and the weak and nervous In
W becomes strong and healthy being.
rsi'Ons Advanced in Life ano feeling The hand oi
eEeghiRg heavily upon them, with all us attend
ills, will lind in ihe use Of this BlTFERS or me
mic, an elixir that will lnstil new Lille into their
hi,festore in measure the energy and ardOr OF
asyOulhful days, build mp their shrunken iorms'
give health and happiness TO their remaining
m
NOTICE.
we'll established fact that fully One.hai OF the
ale portion Of our population are seldom IN
snlOymenl Of good hi health, or. to use their
sIpressOn, new III A Aer feel we'll" They are
tuid, devoid Of all energy, extremely. nerv-
ssad have no appetite.
this cass o. persons The Bltiers-Or the lonic' Is
eally recommended
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
made strong by The use Of either Of these RENE
They will cure every case Of MAKASMUo
bout fail
aousands Of certificates have accumulated IN tne
~ oi The proprietor. bat space will allow OF tne
AleallOn Of but few Tnose, il will be observed
men Of note and oil such standing that they mes
believed ~: -.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

Brigham Young has married again. His
last is Miss Follansbee, of Boston. .:.s.1O
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
Testimonials.

HoN. GEO. w. WOODWARD.
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Of Pa writes ss
d. Philadelphia, MArcn 20 1000
md Ho0Aand's Ger man BHteTs 10 goOd
sd .Usat benefit IN cases OF debility. and
@sd nervous action in the system,
'..i. Yours truly, GEO. W. WOODWARD"
IL. HON. JAMES THOMPSON, e..
'aose Of the Supreme Court Of Pennsylvania- ,oeo
Il Philadelphia, April 2S 1905
\. consider HoOaand's German Buffers a VALUABLE
"ssk 10 case OF attacks o! Indigestion or DysPeP-
iss.s aa certify this IRON my experience cN OF y;
'"h, with respect, JAMES THOMPSON.
HOS GEORGE sHARSWOOD, "i
'asiee Of the Supreme Court of Penn. yrites; ,aso
At. $40 Philadelphia, June LIST. 1885,
ma nave tOund bv erp WY erience that Hoofiand's
nan Bliiers' is a We u Sy good tonic, relieving
8Npuc symptoms al-&w most direcily. .--. -.4..
n .e3tF5 GEORGE sHARs WOOD.
A.. FRoH REV. E D. FENDALL,
n ,.'staAt Editor Christian Chronicle, Phiada. ,
az aeffved decided beneft lrom the use oil
ssas Gefman Billers, and feel u Hy privilege
Z ~mend them as a most valuable tonic, 10 all
s. 1s suffering from general debility or from
Y - svnaans IRON arrangement Of the liver. >
IA. foars Tsuly, Z D. FENOALL- Z
\ n.' the Druggist says that he has sold large
4swasso ot the Bitsers, and has never sold medi-
n aa, save more universal satisfaction, he takes
4,.W..a recommending il TO his cusioEners.
3at.,,..lV ~ :-HoeAand's Germ an Remedies are
HKsomnso. Seethat the signature Of c. M
iss %ss,s ate, ,couaisr isit. Ell - > ). -,
Asspal office, and Mandatory al tn Z
1pss nsealeine Store, No 63i ARCH street, Phiia
\ la7- CHAS. M. EVANS, Proprietor.
Formerly C. M. JACKSON & Co.
MAJ sie.. PRICES.
sherman gitiers. per bottle, =" Sl o.
Hasae.SAr /" half dozen, o.
Sea-. 1srtnsn Tonic, put mp in quart boiiIss
n A. oouie, or half dozen for 81 so.
y bh s,S' iorget to exa nine well ihe article yo
ITO get the genuine. n. .a,.r>t ..si
8 as'e5s..s-ss "a tss aG fa
DR;rcc goR SALE BY ALL :,
uoisrS AND sTOREKEEP FRS. =
shl. EvERYWHERRs se.i m
ssnss III. s.p. .HoRFRCKER. suyrns, Del. =
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11

uOoFLANDS GERMAN BITTER'S,
Hoohand's German Tonic.
The Great Remedies for Diseases of the
liver. STOMACH OR DIGESTIVE ORGNs.
HOOEIIID'S GERMAN BITIERS
I,eomp sed OF The pure Juices, COR as they are me
,dieiualIy termed Er. tracts) Of Roofs. Herbs,
~ Sarks, making E III preparation highly con
,utraled all en- al # tirey free from all al
,oIie admirtGre Of any kind
AOOFLANDS' GERMAN TONIC
:, combInsliun of all The ingredients of The Biiers
tah The purest quality SANTA Cruz RUM, Orange,
t making one Oi the most pleasant and agreeable
i,msdss ever offered 10 the public.
Those prelernng Medicine free from Alcoholic
duixlure. will use
Hoofand's German Bitters.
Those who have no objection to the combination OF
te Bilers as stated, Will use
HOOFLAND'S GERMAN TONIC.
They are both equally good, and contain the same
usdeinal virtues, The choIce between the Two beng
mere matter OF taste. The Tonic being the most pal
Labe
I The siOnacn lIOm d VdIlety OI causes, SuCn An-
h,sslon, Dyspepsia. Nervous Debility, etc.. is very
.I 10 have lis iunclIOns deranged. The very
LIVER. sympalhzIug AL &clOseIy il does with
d, Stomach then bec omes affected. the result
II which IS thai The pa uenI suffers from several
rAOre Of the following diseases:
Constipation, FlaIuence Inward Plies,
Fulness of Blood to the Head, Acldity
Of the Stomach, Nausea, Heart
burn, Disgust for Food Fulness
or weight IN the Stomach,
Sour EructatIOns. Sink
ing or FlutterIng at the Pit
Of the Stomach, Swimming o.
the Head, Hurried or Difficult
Breathing. FIuttering al the Heart.
Choking or SufOcating Sensations when
in lying posture, dinness o. vision,
Dots or Webs before the sight.
Dull Pain 10 the Head, De6cI-
ency OF Perspirat on. Vel
lowness OF the Skin and
Eyes, PAIN IN the SIDE,
Back, Chest, Limbs, etc., Sud-
den Flushes OF Heat, Burning in
the Flesh Constant Imaginings of
Evil, and Great Depression of Spirits.
The sufferer IRON these diseases should exeFeis
10 greatest caution IN the selection OF u remedy to
scsse purchasing On ly that which he Is Al
mstssos true merit, is sx,lItully compounded
free from INJURIOUS IN gtedIenls. and has es
bllshed Tor itsef regulation for the Of Ihes
,eases 10 this connecIIUn we would submit this
all knnus las
Smyrna times., 1869-08-11
PRICES.

DRuco.RoR SALE BY ALL A
uoisrS AND SToREKEEP FRS.
sal. ~ EvERYWHERE. 4"
@gsss $ y ,sep' s.s' HoRFRCKER, snyrna. Del.