The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1869-09-22
How Smith Asked the Old Man.

Smith said he'd rather pop the interrogatory to al
Of old Thompsons daughters, and his sisters, and hi
lady cousins and his aunt Hannah, in the country
and the whole of his family relations, than ask oh
| Thompson. But it had to be done, and SO he sa
down and studied out a speech which be was to dis
gorge at old Thompson the very first time he got
Shy at him. So Smith dropped in on him one sunda.
evening, when all the family had meandered around tt
meeting and found him doing sum in beer measure
How are you Smith ~ said old Thompson, as thu
former walked ill., white piece of chalk, and rem
bling as if he had swallowed condensed earthquake
Smith afraid to answer, because he wasn't sur,
about that speech. He knew he had to keep his griI
it while he had it there, or it would slip from hin
quicker than an oiled eel through an augur hole. 81
he blurted out: m ....@.,. '...
'Mr. Thompson-Sir: Perhaps it may not havt
been unknown to you that during extended period
of some five years, have been busiy engaged in the
prosecution of commercial enterprise"
Is that So and keekn' it secret all this time
while | thought you tendin' store? Well, by
George, you're one of them now amt you?"
Smith had begun to think it all again, to get
the run of it.
"Mr Thompson, sir, perhaps it may not be unknown
to you that, during the extended period of five years
have been bnsly engaged in the prosecution of a
commercial enterprise, with the determination to Sc
sufficient maintenance"
"Sit down, Smith, and help yourself to beer. Don't
stand there hodiE' your hat like blind beggar with
paralysis. never have You behave yourself so
queer in all my born days"
Smith had been knocked out again, and so be had
to wander back again and take fresh start.
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be unknown to
you, that during an extended period of five years.
have been engaged in the prosecution of commercial
enterprise, with the determination procure suffi-
Glen maintenance" .-sr
"A which ance?" asked old Thompson but Smith
held to the last word if it his only chance
and went on:
"In the hope that some day might enter wedlock
and bestow my earthly possessions upon one whom I
could call my own. | have been lonely man, sir
and have felt that it is not good for to be alone
therefore I would"
"Neither is it. Smith; Tn glad you dropped in
How's the old man ?"
Mr.. Thompson, sir" said Smith, in despairing con-
fusion, raising his voice to YELL cit may not be IN
known that, during extended period of lonely
man, have been engaged to enter wedock, and be-
slowed all my enterprise one whom / could deter
mine to be good for certain possessons-no mean-
that is-that-Mr. Thompson, sir: It may not be
known --'
"And then, again. it may. Look here, Smith;
you'd better lay down and take something warm, you
amt WELL"
Smith sweating like four-year colt, went in again
Mr.. Thompson, sir, it may not be lonely to you to
prosecute me whom you friend for commercial
maintenance MISUNDERSTANDING it-Mr, Thompson,
sir: It"
ooh, Smith, you talk like fool l never seen a
more frst-cass idiot in the course Of my whole life
What's the matter with you, anyhow"
90 Mr. Thompson, sir said Smith in agony of be-
wilderment, at may not be known that you prose-
cuted lonely man who is not good for commercial
period of wedock for some five years, butt"
See here, Mr.. Smith, you're drunk, and if You can't
behave better than that you'd better leave; if you
don't I'll chuck you out, or I'm Dutchman."
Mr.. Thompson, SIR" said Smith, frantic with de-
spair it may not be unknown to you that my earthly
possessions engaged to enter wedlock five years
with sufficiently lonely man, who is not good for
maintenance"
"The very deuce he isn't. Now you jist get up and
git or I'll knock what little brains out of you you've
got left"
With that, old Thompson took Smith and shot him
INTO the street if he'd run against locomotive going
1t the rate OF forty hour. Before old Thomp-
ION had time to shut the front door, Smith collected
lis legs and one thing and another that were lying
round on the pavement, arranged himself in a yerti-
al position and yelled out
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be unknown to |
ou which made the old man wretched mad that |
went out and set bullterrer on Smith before he
lad chance to lift brogan, and there a scen-
ic dogfght, with odds in favor of the dog for he had
n awful hold for such small animal.
Smith afterwards married the girl and lived happily
bout two months. At the end of that time he told |
friend that he would willingly take more
rouble and undergo million more dog bites to get |
id of her.
CURIOUS MARRIAGE.-''A bridegroom up the lin
en- tree" is the heading of curious wedding story
hch really occurred few weeks ago in little vii
age pleasantly situated the banks of the Rhine
ertan land owner of the village had daughter who
'as courted by neghboring swain and after the lat
er had got the promise of the old gentleman, his fa
IRE father-in-law to make the homestead to him
elf the marriage day was fixed The day was Sunday,
nd the guests had assembled from far and wide. They
ad already begun to make the marriage procession,
hen suddenly the bridegroom found to have dis
ppeared, and in spite of all the searching in the yard
the barn, stable and in the neighborng houses not
ne least trace of him could be found. Thebrde wept
Utterly at her lovers deception and everybody heaped
buse upon the missing one.
Finally one of the searchers successful in dis
overing the bridegroom in the thicklyleafed summit
large linden tree which stood at the back Of the
ouse. All the guests then to look at him some
egan to abuse him for making such a spectacle at
lat critical moment while the parish pastor addressed
ome pretty sharp words about his conduct. The
Dung man, however, did not seem inclined to come
own and fulfill his engagement, but began to explain,
ON where he was perched, what the matter.
e said that his intended father in law had promised
thfuy before the betrotbal to transfer his land to
i'm 1.-THE bridegroom, but the promise had been STAYED
from day to day, and at the time of speaking was
OF fulfilled He would; therefore, not enter the por
u of the church until the old gentleman had done his
nty. And, in spite Of all protestation by the guests
nd the old man. the village schoomaster had at last
be sent for to make out the contract aud only after
lis was signed, sealed and delivered did the dein-
lent descend from the linden tree and take his sob.
ng bride to church.
FLIGHT OF LocusTs.-The Times speaks very una
aby of the hegra of carpet baggers from Tennessee
would be sight calculated to melt heart of stone
see this long array of martyrs, with carpet-bags
ung their shoulders old Brownow at the front,
'eplng STEP solemn and slow, to the Rogue's March,
the Egyptians do not look to it. this modern Moses
I'd his followers will pack off all the vessels of gold and
wells they can steal or borrow:
Since the election in Tennessee an exodus of carpet
,ggers has been inaugurated from that State, and
md of $4,000 has been raised for investment. in
reap Western lands, where they propose to build
ew Canaan and colonse. Unity of interest, the CO.
esve power of plumber, and generally shared feel.
g OF personal contempt has slowly but surely drawn
ese people together in affction as in affection and
DIV that Tennessee has been regenerated, and their
llture hunger can find no more scraps of pecuniary
fa to feed upon they do wish to be separated in
eir Western flight. We cannot too heartily CON
atnlate our sister State upon its redemption. When
e Egyptians beheld the veil Of darkness lifted, the
ogs and lice crawling into exile; when their hands
ased scratching and grasped the sickle to reap the
ppling fields of golden grain with which the land
ice more laughed, their joy could hardly have ex-
eded that of the people of Tennessee under present
rcumstances. How long is it to be before Louisiana
periences the relief it is impossible oresee
1t the day will no doubt dawn when she will be
abled to choose from among her citizens candi-