Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-11-18


soap, unknown TO your glOriOul
ancestors, have depleted your pur
ses. Appropriating III tbIit sim
plicity the property Of others hal
gotten you into trouble. Misrep
resehtlng filctsilh youf sinless inho
cence, has damaged youf reputation
with the sOulless usurpcr. Trading
for forty-rod whisky to enable you
to get drunk and tOriahawk your
families has played The everlasting
mischief with the picturesque pohip
of your dress and here you are, in
the broad light Of the nineteenth
century, gotten up like the ragtag
and bobthil oFthe phfliets bF New
York! For shame! Remember
your ancestors! Recall their mighty
deeds! Remember Uncas land
Red Jacket K and Hole. In the. Day
and Hernte Greeley Emulate their
achievements Unfurl yourselves
under my Banheri noble savages, il.
lHstrious guttersnipes-"
Down wild him !"
."Scoop the blagyard !"
"Hang blm"
"Burn him y
"Dhfownd him r.
1t was the quickest dpetatioh That
ever was. l simply saw a sudden
fash in the air Of clubs brickbats,
fists, bead baskets and meccasins-
a single fash, and they all seemed
to hit me at once, and no two id
the same place. In tie next in
slant the efitlfe tribe Vas upon ME.
They tore all the clothes off me,
they broke my arms and legs, they
gave me a tIiump that dented the
top of my head till it would hold
coffee like d saucer; and TO crown
their disgraceful proceedings and
add insult to injury they threw me
over the Horseshoe Fall and got
wet,
About tiinety or a hundred feet
from the top, the remains of my
vest catght on d projecting rock
and / was almost drowiied Before !
could get loose. i finally fell, and
brotight up ih world of white
foam at the foot of the Fall, whose
celled and bdbbly masses toward up
several inches above my head. OF
course l got into the eddy / sail
ed fotind and tound in 1t fJrty-four
chasing a chip and gaining
ON it-each round trip a half a mile
-reaEhing for the same bhsh dh
the bank forty fdhr times, and just
exactly missing it by a hairs
breadth every time, At last.a man
walked foWR and sat down close to
that bush, and put pipe in his
mot1th, and lit a match, and follow
ed ME with ofe eye and kept tiis
other on the match while he shell
tered it in his hands from the wind.
Presently a puff of wind blew it out.
The ne7t time | swept af5dnd hv
said W.a
"Got d match p
"Yes-in my other vest. Help
me ont, please" -ssa
"NOt for joe"
When l .calfg rodhd again /.
said
"Excuse the ssefHiHgiy itiiperti
nent curiosity of a drowning man,
but will you eSplain this singular
conduct of yoiirs 7"
With pleasure. / afi the CBro
fer. Don't hurry ON my account
| can wait for You. But l wish ]
had a match"
l said! Take my place and I'll
60 and get you one"
He declined. This lack of conf
dente on His part trehted d tool
ness between us, and from that
time | avoided him. 1t was my
idea Id case anything liabpened to
me, to so time the bGcHfrance as to
throw my custom into the hands of
the opposition coroner over on the
American side. AT last h poltt-
man came alohg and arfgsted me
for disturbing The peace by yelling
at people on shore for help. The
Judge fined me, but l had the I'D
ofhim. Ny money Vas
with my pantaloOhs, and my pan
falcons were with the Indians.
Thus / escaped. l am now lying
in h Very critical condition. At
least / am IyiHgi dnyEay-efitital
or not critical.
| am hurt all over, but cannot
tell the full extent yet, because the
Doctor is not done taking the in
tie will make odt ttty
this evening. However
thus far he thinks only sir Of my
wounds are fatal. 1 don't thiHd the
others. a.
Upon rcgaihing my right mind, l
It's an awfHily. satag6 tribe of
Indians that to do the bealwork
moccusins for Niagara Falls; Doc.
tor, Where are they from'
Limerick, my soR."
| shalt fiot be atfg to finish tHy
remarks about Niagara Falls until
/ get better q
- TIE newspapers that poked.
fun al Horace Greeley because OF!
his sssdmed unpoptlatity, will not
be agreeably surprised to discover
that he was really tie strongest
,,,,n on tba RenuhIiERh State tick. |