Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1869-12-08
A CHAPTER FOR YOUNG HUSBANDS

Walking the other day with friend who
had been confined a week or two by sickness
to his room, he remarked that a husband
might learn a good lesson by being confined
occasionally to his house, aud having in this
way an opportunity to witness the cares and
never-eudiRg tolls Of the wife, whose burdens
and duties and patient endurance he might
otherwise have never understood. There is
great deal in this thought. Young men cs-
pecially are called away, by their business,
during the day returning only at the hour Of
meals and as they see nearly the same rou-
tine of duty, they begin to think that it is
their own lot to perform all the drIdgery,
and to bear all the weight of care and respon-
sibihty
But such a man has very wrong view Of
the case he needs an opportunity for more
extended observation, and it is perhaps for this
reason that Providence arrests him by sick
ness, that he may learn in pain what he would
fail to observe in health.
Now, we believe that wives, as a whole,
are really better than they are generally ad-
mitted to be- We doubt if there can be found
large number of wives who are disagreeable
and negligent without some palpable GOODNESS
or shortcoming on the part Of their husbands.
But is there nothing to be said on the other
side? Are husbands so generally the perfect
amiable, injured beings they are so often rep
resented ? Men sometimes declare that their
wives extrayagances have picked their pock.
ets--that their ceaseless tongues have robbed
them Of their peace, and their general dis
agreeableness has driven them to the haunt:
Of dissipation but this is generally wicked
excuse for a wicked life on their part.
| The truth is, men often lose their Interest
in their homes by their own neglect to make
their homes interesting and pleasant. L
should not be forgotten that the wife has hei
rights--as sacred after marriage as before
and good husbands devotion to the wifi,
after marriage will concede to her quite a
much attention as his gallantry did while he
was lover. If it is otherwise, he most gen
orally is at fault.
Take a few examples. Before marriage,
young man would feel some delicacy in ac
ceptng an invitation to spend an evening il
company where his " lady love" had not beeI
invited After marriage is he always a
4 particular During the days Of his court
Ship his gallantry would demand that h
should make himself agreeable to her; afte
marriage, it often happens that he think
more Of being agreeable to himself. How
often do married men, after having been ava.
from home all day during which the wife ha
toied at her duties, 60 at evening to som
place of amusement, and leave her to toll o
alone, uncheered and unhappy How olte
DO the kindest offices pass unobseryed and un
rewarded, even by smile, while her best ei
i forts are condemned by iault-fnding hus
band ? How often, even when the evening
spent at home is it spent in silent reading
or some other way that does not recognize tn
wifes right to share in the enjoyments of tn
iresde
Look, ye husbands, a moment, and remem
Der what your wife was when you took hel
J not from compulsion, but from your ow
choice--a choice based, probably, on wins
you then considered her superiority to all 9th
ers. She was young-perhaps the idol Of
happy home she was gay and blithe as tn
lark and her brothers and sisters at her Il
theirs 6reside cherished her as an object {
endearment. Yet she left all to join her de-
: Tiny to yours--to make your home happ.
and to do all that woman's love could promp
t and woman's ingenuity devise, to meet you
wishes, and to tighten the burdens whic
G might press upon you in your pllgrlmag'
4 She, of course, had her expectations too. Sh
! could not entertain feelings which promise
so much without forming some idea of recll
rocation on your part and she did expe'
$ you would, after marriage, perform those kin
. Offices Of which you were so lavish in the day
/ of betrothment.
= She became your wife-left her home fC
G yours burst asunder, as it were, the bone
D of love which had bound her to her father
S fireside, and sought no other boon than yoI
q aifection-left it may be, the ease and del
r cacy of home Of indulgence; aud now, VIII
1 must be her feelings if she gradually awakeI
@ to the consciousness that you love her le
than before-that your evenings are spel
, abroad-that you only come if at al to sa
- isfy the demands of your hunger, and to iii
- resting place for your head when weary
a nurse for your sick-chamber when diseased
] Why did she leave the bright hearth Of yout
= ful days2 Why did you ask her to give U
the enjoyments of happy homo2 Was
simply to darn your stockings, mend yo'
clothes, take care of your children, and wst'
/. over your sick bed 2 Was it simply to col
e duce to your own comfort1 Or was the
some understanding that she was to be mac
happy in her connection with the man 81
dared to love-
Nor is it sufficient answer that you repl
that you give her home-that you feed al
clothe her You do this for your help; yc
would do it for an Indifferent housekeepe
But wife is more than a housekoeper. 81
is your gifej and unless you attend to h'
, wants, aud in some way answer the expects
i tions you raised by your attentions bofol
marriage you need not wonder if she Is d.
: octed and her heart sink into insensibility
but If this be so, think well who is the eau
: of it. We repeat it very few women mai
c Indifferent wives whose feelings have not M
I with some untoward check by the indife
9 ence or thoughtlessness Of their husbands