St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1869-11-26
EUcBtiP.


dame, who swallowed the dose of physic
her patient found too nauseous, because
it would never do to waste what had
cost money.
y London paper tells of two rival
travelling dentists who arrived together
at tair One hoiStcd banner inscrib-
ed ''Facilc Princeps = the other imme-
dlately painted up, on his booth, "Fa-
cllc forceps," and drew the crowd.
look out there, What are Won
kicking my dog for.'' I'm kickin' him
cause he's full of tleas and | don't want
to get 'em on my good clothes" "Fleas
the deuce . Why, that dog sleeps with
me-" ''les, hang you, l know it, and
that's where he gets en-"
y gentleman who takes a business
view of most things, when recently asked
respecting person of quite a poetic tenn
permanent, replied: ''Oh, he is one of
those men who have soarngs after the
infinite and divings after the unfathom-
able, but who never pay cash.
Out West they tell story about a
dog which was greatly interested in mu-
SIC, which attended Il singing school and
was subsequently found in the back
yard with Il music book in front of
him, beating time with his tail on a
tin pan and hOwling "Old Hundred
Mark Twain understands newspaper
responsibilities. He says: Mr. Gree
ley Is going to lecture on the Byron scan
dal We have no authority for making
this statement, but then it makes an in
tere>ting item of news, and the inexora-
ble business of newspaper is to collect
interesting news
y young Portland woman, recently
married, received from gentleman friend
large corn broom as wedding present,
accompanying which was the following
nice bit OF poetry -
This tritiinE gift accept from me:
It, u" I'd recummend.-
In sunshine use the bru-hy part,
In -toIm- the other end"
y gentleman absent from Nashville
on buSincs, journey received a dis
patch from home to this effect: Your
wife had "a child last night but is doing
well to-day" lie hurried home with
very various emotions, to find that there
was Il mi-t"ke. The nurse who had
signed the dispatch had written chill"
and the operator knowing tull we'll that
! letter WAS missing from the word,
guessed that it should end with d.
a genuine Yankee at Lisbon, CT,
who wanted TO put a water nirn 'h-~c'ch
.4r..a.@ l,..I,. t,,~
without digging up the drain, tied a
~rr,'.g Ia Il cats lcy, thrust her into one
end ut the drain, and giv,ving 4 terrific
scat thr feline quickly appeared at
The other end. the pipe was drawn
through the drain by means of the line,
and an expense of ten dollars saved by
the operation.
lEIsH IIUMoR.-The following Incl
dents occurred in one of the Blocker
street cars on Wednesday afternoon.
Owing to some cause there was block
IN the street, and the conductor of the
car cried out to the Mllcsian driver,
''tiivc one OF your Irish wells, Pat, and
the wagon will get out of the way"
Yes" WAS Pats quick response, Il
L,t,Ieti,IJs ~ V;r,,;ni, ~ L6an Iott. No.
Wis and Stonewall jackson Oft from such
fellows as YOU, who staid at home and
paid three hundred dollars for nigger vol
untcers to fight for you" This ready re-
tort elected roar, # laughter from the
car pasScn~crS. and the conductor did
not again venture to banter Pat.
t,ninr ove, nm tho bo.t ,,os,ordo, tho
wafer wa. - LITTLE rougb and a lovely
and os,im,hl. voun, Iodv a. tho boot
,rave = suddrn Iurch chInr ,tfr;ohtedIv
+, tL. nvt.nJ Il .Ib,w of hor mails com.
rorinu InnLinr nm intn his fond orbs
IN. murmrrrd ..Oh Henry this Is terr;-
bile =. ..Yc. il *, h,. re:n,ndcd .but
loan ~, mo and I will nrnt.ct vou " s.Do
vou think !, will mo a. RON n nc this all
Ia. ,y.,,, o.ros. >. o,,>.;,,.I,, ;norirod tba
female ~ do- rcsnondeJ Henry
..Th.u ou,,s ri have to lean ON Won"
returned the lady, ..For life ." whis-
n.rrJ Henry turninr male nt the thouuht
of refusal ''I-I-don't know-the
water i, awful rough-I-guess ye-
ycs-you'd better ask papa .'-Detrot
Free Press.
Sam lis N1rc,rr rJr,vr,Ev- Thor.
resides in the neiuhborhood of Boston an
old gentleman we'll known in the citv.
SLIGHTLY deaf. and whom NOTHING 50 much
an"ers as to be disturbed by callers at
meal times. Just seating himself at the
breakfast table one morning, last winter,
when light snow was falling, he was
summoned bv = MESSAGE from 4 nerson
.,t th. front door vino declined to sand