The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1869-08-06
Iowa PLAIN DEALER.
The "ZantippeeS'
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

The "Zantippeef'
..- BY JOSH BILLINGS.
The Zantippec IL an organizashun
ov fearless and strong-minded VIM
min in New York city, the purposes
and intent ov which arc clearly set
forth in tho following bylaws and
resolutions, found lately at pawn
brokers' shop in the pocket ov a
pair ov cashmere femail unspoaka-
bias: IL ..a.-'..
-. Artikle let. The Confedcracy
shall be called the Zantippec, and
shall be perpetual and everlasting.
s.. 2. It shall DO composed cntire.y
Of femails; nothing Of the male ma
turc shall be allowed within ten
miles Nv it. Ill .g...At
8. Every member ov this club
shall have an Office, provided they
arc sound on tho goose and down on
the gender.
4. No married woman shall be
admitted to this club who dus not
wear full suit Of cashmere at
home.
s. This association is self-lifting,
and don't ask emmy odds at the male
critters. II E. %@t-s b..
6. Resolved, that We will vote or
smash the ballot boxes ov creashcn.
Z. No woman shall be deemed
Eligible tew offs who IL afraid ov
emmy man living.
8. Young girls between the ages
ov twenty-five and thirty received
on trial. - .-"~
o. The objekt ov this confsderaoy
is to do > way with the. ecessity
ov mankind and exslt woman tew
her true sphear, and enable her tew
run the concern hereafter forever
more in good shape.
10. Good moral karakter requ-
isite for admishuu tew this club;
but tew much beauty shall be Deem
ed . leetle risky, and shall be watch
cd by q committee Nv iivo grown
females from among the elders,
with power tew report from time
tcw timo whether the new member
Is sound on the voting question, and
the right tew set onto jurys.
IL. Resolved, that VIC won't pay
emmy more taxes, nor git any more
breakfasts (bedarned If We dog il
We kant have sum femail suffrage.
IL. Resolved, if We don't look
out the niger will git to voting
before We do.
13. No member Of this confed-
eracy shall be Liable to arrest for
Islander, or pulling hair, or eny
thing against the so-called statutes
ov the country, while they arc in
session.
IA. Emmy male being caught
within the sakred precincts Of Fan
tippee, on emmy pretence whatever.
shall be bchcadcd with . rufned
nighteap and be drummed out oy
camp. Provided, nothing in this
artikle shall be SO construed az to
interfere with = married man. q
bringing into an anteroom an in
FAINT ov the fe,nail kind. whose
preserysshun depends upon the
ministering comforts ov the mother
oy the child, tho mother at tho time
being aktually present, at regular
organized meeting ov the confedera-
cy.
Is. No looking-glasscs allowed
in tho Senate chamber of the Fan
tippee /; no New York Herald al
lowed; no demokratio paper oy
emmy kind allowed, and all the pro-
cecdings ov the club tow be kept as
sekret as possible, under the
circumstances ov the case.
Is. In case emmy ov the proceed
ings or the club are divulged tcw
an outside fcmail friend, it Is dis
tinktly understood that said femail
FREUD il to divulge the Same only to
her most intimate friend, and then
only on express condishun that said
intimate friend il tew do the same,
under penalty ov tho law, made and
provided for sich cases.
II. No femail in love will be
permitted tcw become q member ov
the confederacy, but SIGH femaila
shall have the sympathy Of the club.
for human natur We know il tut tew
fight with.
Is. No lap dorgs, nor yung ones,
nor knitting. nor housewife talk.
ing. nor receipts for cooking. are
allowed on tho premises.
10. II emmy member oy the Fan.
tippee Is sent for by her husband
during biszness hours. che needn't
pay emmy attenshun to the orittur.
but for s,handsum speech upon the
occashun, DE- fining wimmiu's right,
and 6efying man and hiz course at.
tributes, she shall be rewarded with
a vote Of thanks and copy ov the
byclaws and resolushuns Of the club.
20, AL singly blessed member
ov tie confederacy, who have stooi
firm against the blarney ov men,
tew enter the so-called welded stat
shall each carry . golden speal
dp0iag session. emblematick Q,
their heroism, in defending theil
ehsrns against the highway rob
bsrs Of wimmin's rights.
n. II any member Of the asso