The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-12-02
NEWSPAPER MAN 4coRALLED.r

| havn't dated this letter because /
don't know where / am. / am about
nine miles from Julesburgh, at little
settlement on the South Platte river.
At daylight tomorrow am to catch
some of the finest salmon you ever
saw. They will not bite at any other
time of day. suppose they learned
this disagreeable habit of early break
fasting, from the "Bull Whackers,n
who navigate these plains. / am
stopping at little hotel about thirty
by ten feet. The scarcest thing in this
country is lumber settlers having to pay
ever SO many dollars a foot for all they
use, besides what they brought in their
valises. The landlord is from Penn
sylvania, and seems tC be doing a
thriving business. By dint of hard
talking and liberal promises, got a
room 10 myself. 1t was just large e.
nough for bed and candle-box, set
on chair, upon which am writing
this letter. 1t is in one end of the
building, and separated from the next
room by bed quilt, which you must
crawl under to come in or go out,
But it is my room, and after the ejolting
have had upon an Indian pony, ex-
pect to have a good nights
Was ever poor pilgrim in such fix?
Just as L had written "night's" above,
and had ''sleep" on the poiut of my
pen, heard loud knocking on the
floor just outside the bed-quilt.
"Crawl UNDER" said /.
Enter the landlords daughter, a
buxum young lady of about seventeen
years of age, / should judge. She O.
pened her rosy lips and spoke as fol-
lows:
"Mister, don't take off your clothes
tonight, when you go to bed"
"Why 2"
because 1 am going to sleep with
You"
"WelI if you have no better reason
than that
"Hush! Shet up! You told par
you would not sleep with a man."
81 would rather sleep with a wet
dog"
"Well. | have given up my bed to a
sick man. | have been hard at work
all day, and have to work hard all day
tomorrow, and can't afford to set up
all night. The bed is wide enough for
us both. shall stay on the back side,
and if you don't stay on your side
you'd better, that's ALL"
AS she said this, she raised from her
dress pocket an Internal jack-knife, !,
such as farmers use in trimming fruit
trees, and then let it fall back with a
chug. comprehended this situation
in moment, and unto this miden /
quoth as follows:
"Miss young lady. your intentions
may, or not, be honorable. l am
travelling entirely by myself My nat
ural protectors are miles and miles a.
way beyond the boundless prairie, ig-
norant of the perils which may beset
their idol. Thus far / have not been
insulted by your sex. am man of
few words, but they are generally en-
phatic. will give you part of that
bed, and that's all | will do. If you
attempt, during the dark shade of the
night, anything contrary to this firm
Instrumentation, by st. Joseph, my pa
tron saint, will shoot you through
the mdriff."
AS l concluded, laid Slocum pis-
tol upon the candle box. A low chuck
lie outside the bed-quilt gave evidence
that paterfamlias had heard and ap-
proved the arrangement.
My antagonist laughed, and saying,
''Miste$ reckon we understand each
other" she bounded over to the back
side of the bed. There she is now,
pretending to be asleep. can't fin
ish this letter. / can't do anything.
Talk about the trials of the earlier
saints-about being broiled over live
coals-about being fiayed alive-and a
bout being hroiled in oil! What was
all that to all this?