The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1869-08-14

Mosco's AuToMATIoN.


nod. don't think ever think; and don't
knov q I ever did except about nothing; and
often rot doing that for hours at time.
ssYou blockhead !" father he ses to me (which
n shipwright,) '.yeu're only fit to cut up into
sAgure-head, you great, hungry. hulking, wood
en-Seaded lubber you )" for he had put me to lots
Of trades. and It was no use; everybody saao l
Had no head-piece.-no not for going errands,
nor giving away handbills even. It's no good
dunning things into my head, for the only thing
lever could remember is meal-times. Nothing
I eat hurts me, and nothing seems to do me any
good. Nothing makes me laugh nor puts me
out Of temper. The only thing ever see makes
ne feel like laughing is meals, and then I've got
something better to do; and the only thing makes
me feel like getting out of temper is getting out
of bed Of mornings to chop wood; but when you
are out of bed, you may as well chop wood as do
anything else, for aught know. The snail gets
to bed as quick as the swallow, and don't get
near 60 tired.
Well, there was conjurer chap up into our
town,-a brisk, lively sort of chap that could
talk like pump, in regular stream He see
me loafng about, and give me an order to see
bis show, providing ! would go up on the plat
form to hold some things for him. went up,
and did what he told me. 1t seemed to amuse
the people very much, for they laughed them
selves nearly into fits, and said: "Did ever you
see man keep his countenance like him ?" and,
'Its just as if he was cut out OF wood" Now,
unless man sees something. good to laugh at,
he has got no Call to laugh,-and that's why
didn't.
After it was over, the conjurer chap come to
me, and SEES; 81 never see your living equal.
You must be used to the public not to mind
them any more than as If you were nothing but
q stone idol 2"
II never see the public BEFORE" ses.
"You didn't ?" ses he.
"No," ses.
"Well, look here, he goes on, II don't mind
standing you half a crown if you'll tell me what
you was a-thinking of when the public was
screaming with laughter at you"
"Victuals," makes answer.
"Come and have some along with me" he re-
plies. "for think I can put you in the way of
getting them regular"
So I did.
Next day he goes to see my father.
"Your son has wonderful talent sir"
''Hang his talent" ses my father; 'Tt's pity
he can't use it on any other tool than knife and
fork a
"a natural gift, sir, for not laughing at any,
thing, such as l never see before out Of the re-
served seats. The question is, could he be de-
he did last nightP'
II never see him smile in my life" father
makes reply, ''nor get angered, nor put out in
TACT, never see him take notice of anything.
There's no mistake he can keep his countenance,
which is a good deal more than his countenauce'l
ever do for him." 8e-J rfea
II don't know go much about that" the con-
Jurer ses, ''for I'm open to give him two pounds
q week and his board, if he'll sign articles with
me for twelve months"
sand what is he to do ?" ses my father.
'Nothing-except to be looked at, and that
won't hurt him, suppose ?"
'Well," father ses to INC, sis it good bar.
gain1"
II don't care" ses, So Joined the show.
The public is an obstinate lot, for when you
laugh they won't; but if you set your face against
laughing, or if you've got no Call to laugh, not
seeing anything to laugh at, they will laugh
like mad--leastways, SO I've found it.
kSignor Mosco was the conjurers name, or, at any
rate, the one he went by in public He was call
cd pretty good hand, but couldn't see much in
what he did. knew where the bullets went to
when he made believe to ram them into pistol
like an ear-trumpet. stuffed the gold watches
In the half-quartern loaves, and ironed out the
ladies' and gentleman's pockethandkerchiefs,
while he was pretending to burn them. It's sur
prising what little things amuse the public. I
used to tell em SO, when Signor Mosco had done
one of his best tricks, but they only grinned, and
said, "Lord, how he does keep his countenancew
o
There was the hat-trick. The tins, and the feath-
ers, and things look good deal when they are
all thrown about, but they took up no room
scarcely when I'd put EN- to together, ready for
use. And as to rolling two rabbits into one,
what was there to surprise me, knowing all along
very well what was become of the second rabbit,
when shouldn't have took on very much even
If he had rolled EN- into one, except it was at
dinner-time. There was the decapitated head
and the basket trick, and the magic flowers, and
the woman sitting on nothing, which was called
Mecca. Well I see the looking-glasses and the
false bottoms, let alone the legs Of the decapia-
ted head; and, consequently, I couldn't sec any.
thing in any of it.
There was only one part of the performance
that ever could see anything in, and that was
q the bills put it: "The Mechanical Man or
Wooden Automaton, ON whose construction no
less than twenty-five years have been expended,
to bring it to its present perfection the great
est wonder of the age"
will tell you about it.
First Of all, there was large box, or pedestal,
for the figure to stand on, and containing the
works which were carried of the stage and into
the center OF the reserved seats 1t had winch,
to turn with handle like q bed-post key, to
wind up the man, and when wound up made
noise like an engine getting up steam, which was
the works running down. Then the man was
brought down off the stage, carried upright by
four strong fellows. His feet were fastened to a
round wooden stand, like childrens soldiers stand
on, in which was worm for the great screw on
the top of the PEDESTAL When brought down he
was hoisted up on the pedestal, and turned round
and round until screwed on. There was great
many tubes, and wires, and levers connecting the
figure with the box, and sticking out around it,