The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-10-02
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.

Vanity IL seldom malishous.
Anxiety alwus steps on itself.
Curiosity IL the instinct ov wisdom.
Fools are the whet.stones ov society.
Silence, like darkness, IL generally
safe.
A woman [Iikc an ccho1, will bav the
last word.
Praise that amt deserved amt no bet
ter than SANDER.
Friendship iz simply the gallantry Of
selfinterest.
Better make weak man your enemy
than your friend.
A lie IL ike cat, Il never comes to
you in u straight line.
Beware ov tho man with half shut
eycs-he amt dreaming.
Experience makes more timid men
than it duz wize oEes.
Politcness IL a shrewd way folks has
Of aattering themselfs.
No man ever yet increased hiE reputa-
shun bi coutradikting lies.
Opipyuns are like othcr vegetables,
worth just what they will fetch.
Advice iz drug 10 the market the
supply alwus exceeds the demand.
Men mourn for what they hay lost
wimmin. for what they haint got.
Civ the world credit for CRATE deal
more honesty than it can show.
One ov the safest aud most successful
talents ! kpo oy il TO be good listener
What a rediculus farce it is TO be con.
tinually on tho hunt for peace and quiet
think most men had rather be charged
with malice than with making n blunder
1t takes branes tew make smart man,
but good luck often makes famous one
Wizc men laff every good chance they
kin git. Lofing is only weakness in
phools.
Love cuts up all sorts ov monkey shines,
ii makes a fool sober and wise man
frisky.
4 SANDER Is like hornet. If you can't
kill il dead the fust bio, you better no,
strike at it.
When a man IL squandcring hiz estate,
even those who are getting it, call him a
phool
don't believe in total dcpravity, cv.
cry man haz sumth;ng in him TO show
that God made him.
Study the heart If yu want to
learn human natur; tharc amt no human
nntur 10 a mans head.
Thare is on'y two things that knox
ov that a man wont brag ov, one is Icing,
and luther is jealousy.
Gratitude IL debt, and ike all other
debts, iz paid bekause We arc obliged TO,
not bekausc VIC luv TO.
Nature iz kind mother. She couldn't
we'll afford TO make Us perfekt, and so
she made US blind 10 our own failings.
4 humbug is like bladdcr, good for
nothing till it il blowed up, aud then
amt good for nothing after il IL pricked.
judge Of mans vir.ew entirely bi
hiz phasions-it is a crate deal easier TO
be good dove than descent sarpant.
Thare il three kinds ov pkools in this
world, the natural ones. the common,
every day phool, and the daghm phool.
4 bigg noze il sed tew be sign oi
gcnius--if mans genius lays in hiz
noze, / should say the sign was good
one.
/ suppose that ono reason Why the
''roaa TO ruin" iz broad, il tcw accommo-
date the great amount of travel in that
direkshun.
Thare arc mcnpy ways to find out how
brave and how honest man may be, but
thare amt no way to fud out the extent
of his vanity.
Put man down for me as a vain and
selfish crittcr, all hiz talk and ackshuns
to the contrary, Notwithstanding, never
theless. to.wit, verify, amen.
Whenever / find real handsome
woman engaged in the "wimmins' rights
bizzncss," then am going to take mi hat
under mi arm and jine the procession.
i / make this distinction between char
akter and reputushm-reputashun is what
the world thinks ov US, eharakter IL what
the world knors of u.s.
Thoze who become disgustcd and with
draw from the world, mustn't forgit on
thing, that the world will forgit them,
long time before they forgit the world.
,h;nk ha1 ratbar haar n man bra
/ about hiaself, than tew hear him brag a
the time Of some some one else-for
j think like vanity lcetle better than
DO sickotausy.
t Put an Englishman in the garden {
!. Eden. and he would find fault with tn
s whole blasted consarn-put Yanket
and he would SEQ whar he could alter
It to advantage-put an Irishman in, an
Q he would want tew boss the thing-put
: Dutchman in, and he would proceed ;
g once to plant cabbage.
s ----------sos----- ------A---
4 "DEY DoN'T DIE DAT WAY."-Th
v comment of q colorcd preacher on tn
e text, cit is more blessed to give than
d receive" is inimitable for its point as we
It as eloouence. ''I've known many
q church to die cause it didn't Civ
Y enough but / never knowed a church
: die cause it gave too much. Dey don
die dat way. Brederen, has any of yo
knowed a church to die cause it gave &c
n much !? If you do. just let me know
: and I'll make pilgrimage to dat churcl
u ry.i ol;,,h hvtho sofk E0hk nf III