The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-09-09
Editorial Sh0rt.Straws.

source Of its origin.
Alabama negroes are admitted to the State
University The library will have to be re-
plcnished with books on the black art.
e PhyiJus Unum is commonly transla-
ted Many IN one > not many ander one, as
the Radicals would have it.
Gen. Grants new cottage at Long Branch
cost the nice sum of $4,000. What
thrifty President we have!
"A colorcd Lothario out in Tennessee is
under arrest for having nineteen wives They
ought to send the fellow to Salt Lake.
"A choice assortment of opinions may
be had on application to Attorney General
Hoar, who enjoys the patronage of the Gov
eminent.
To catch watermelon thieves, farmers
should do as boys do when they catch birds
by throwing salt on their tails, but let it be
saltpetre from blunderbuss.
Mrs. Stowe has got Bonner after her at
the rate Of $500 column to write scnsa-
ton. She is going to Chicago to investigate
interesting divorce cases.
The Yankees arc going to get up war
with the British Lion, because the Oxford
boat crew has beaten the Harvard boys. The
agitation has commenced.
The Investigation party at Gettysburg have
made discovery and clearly determined the
spot where General Sickles was Wounded
Was it in hcsback E. ,t9e Ill. 81 IF
/ The Womcn's Convention at Newport,
R. I. have adopted platform broad enough
to embrace all humanity" The forlorn crea-
lures are getting desperate. sis
/. --''Twoicidc' is the new name given to
matrimony. Judging from the number of
divorces VIC would suggest the name Of s'dou-
BILE and quits"
"A Wheeling judge lately fined a negro ten
dollars for presuming to occupy seat in a
street car. His honor was decidedly behind
the age.
Brick Pomeroy has just declined an Of
fer Of a quarter of million for his New
York Democrat. Bricks fool, we'll take
half that for our paper, good will included.
| There is enough cotton: growing in the
South to make 100000 bales, but not suffi-
cient labor to secure that amount. John Chi
naman, you're wanted.
"A correspondent writes thusl y-"Long
Branch bathing suits make batch Of ma
lures farest work--a woman's form. Wet
and dripping with water, the ladies come out
Of the surf with the flannel clinging to their
PERSONS sight to behold" Omy!
A monument to Hendrick Hudson has
been proposed in the town Of Hudson, N. Y.
Washington Irving has raised him an imper-
ishable monument in the story of Rip Van
Wrinkle. - t = f- ..
Mr. William Van Stork, widower of Pitt
ston, Pa, has to stand suit with Miss Adelia
Griffin for breathing soft nonsense into her
ear, and then backing out, The. lady's heart
damaged to the amount of $4,000.
Grant has turned out to be a finished
angler He manages his line as he does the
government, with rod and reel, but, unfor.
tunately, brings up nothing but founders
and gudgeons, although every one of his
mopgrels wants plaice.
John Neal, the Portland poet, has be.
come the champion of Mrs. Stowe, and is 60
ing to corroboratc the Byron scandal. Who
bids highest for the article?
The Chicago National Temperance Con-
vention have resolved to become a political
organization under the title of the Can't
Dramshop Party" They, doubtless, will op
pose Grants re election
The State Journal says Bagby was ''last
heard of in Gordonsvlle, wandering around
with two hard (cling) peaches in his hand,
looking for good location for his Gazette
Office" Later accounts state that he has
found one in coon hole.
An exchange says that Senator Abbott,
Of North Carolina is engaged to play "Bob
Acres at the theatre in Raleigh. The cour-
age Of the redoubtable Bob "oozed out at his
finger nails'--Abbott has made himself ''as
small as possible"
|
The State journal sneeringly says-s'It
is rather laughable to. hear Virginian talk
ing about conceit in any body. When was
the selfstyled mother of States and States
men ever accused of any lack Of vanity ?"
Den tell the vanity of the Yankees sug-
gested the great boat race, and what has
been the result? John Bull is the best OAR
| master.
GREAT FIRE IN RIcHMoND-A severe
conAagration took place in Richmond on Mon
day night by which over 100000 worth Of
property was consumed It commenced on
Cary street and ragged with great ferceness