The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1869-09-22

Fall
Mark Twain has been among the "lndians
at Niagara with queer results. After giving
an account Of interviewing squaw and O
full grown warrior, with dissatisfaction, he
says
made one more attempt to iraternize with
them, and only one. came upon camp Of
them gathered in the shade Of a great tree,
making wampum and moccasins, and al
dressed them in the language Of friendships
"Noble red men, braves, grand sachems,
war chiefs, squaws, and highyou much
muchs, the pale-face from the land OF the set
| ting sun greet. you! You Benefcent Pole.
| cat--you, Devourer Of Mountains-you,
Roaring Thundergust-you, Bully boy-with.
a-G lass. Eye--the pale face from beyond the
great waters greet you all War and pesti'
lence have thnned your ranks and destroyed
your once proud nation. Poker, seven.up
and vain modern expense for soap, I'M
known to your glorious ancestors, have
depleted your purses Appropristing in your
simplicity property of others, has gotten you
into trouble. disappearing facts, in your
sinless innocence, has damaged your repu-
tation with the soulless usurper, Trading
for forty.rod whiskey, to enable you to get
| drunk and happy and tomahawk your FAM.
lies, has played the everlasting mischief with
the picturesque pomp Of your dress, and here
Won are, in the broad light Of the Nineteenth
century, gotten up like the ragtag and bob
tail ofthe purIieus of New York; For shame!
Remember your ancestors! Recall their
| mighty deedsl Remember Uncasl-and Red
Jacket!-and Observation-Disclosures Horace
Greeleyl Emulate their achievements! Tn
furl yourselves under my banner, noble
savages, illustrious guttersnipes---"
| "Down wild him ~
"Scoop the blagyard'
"Hsug him.
"Burnl him
| "Drown him ~
| 1t was the quickest operation that ever was
7 simply saw sudden fash in the air o
clubs, brickbsts, fists, bread baskets, and moe
casins-a single flash, and they all appearcc
3 to hit me at once, and TO two of them in tn
b | same place In the next instance the entir
{ tribe was upon me. They tore all the clothe
of Of me, they broke my arms and legs, the
gave me thump that denied the top OF m
;. boot, till it would chaffe like saucer and t
,. crown their disgracefu proceedings and ad,
o insult to injury, they threw me over Horse
= shoe Fail and | got wet
About 30 or 100 feet from the top, tht
1 remains of my vest caught projecting
| rock, and was almost drowned before could
get loose. finally fell, and brought up in
world Of white foam at the foot of the fall,
whose celled aud hubby masses lowered up
seve, al inches above my head. OF course
got into the eddy. sailed round and round
in it Al times-chasing chip and gaining
gu it--regching for the same bush on the
bank A times and just exactly missing 1t by
hairs breadth every time. At last a man
| walked down and sat down close to that bush,
and put pipe in his mouth, and lit match
and followed me with one eye and kept the
| other on the match while he sheltered it in
his hands from the wind. Presently puff
of wind blew it out. Tho next time swept
around he said:
"Got match?'
"fes-in my other vest. Help me ont
please
"NCt for Joe"
When | came around again | said:
"EXcuse the seemingly impairment curl
osity ola drowning man, but will you explain
this singular conduct of yours?"
with pleR3ure am the coroner. Don't
hurry on my account. can wait for YOU,
But | wish had "a match
said: Take my place, and III 60 and
get you one"
He declined. This lack of confidence on
his part created q GOODNESS between us, and
from that time forward | avoided him. 1t