The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-06-20
WIT AND wIsDoM.

~-NO-- -
ones leg.
sure to harrow up the sole-Peg ends in
side ones boots
The best of friends fall out. Our teeth
are no exception.
When does q ship tell o falsehood When
she lies at the wharf,
Truth is not salad, that it must be
served with vinegar.
Things are often impossible because
cowardice makes them 50.
WHY is the road of transgressors SO hard?
Because it is so much Travelled.
A thoroughly independent man One
who depends on an inn for his living.
why are old maids the most charming of
people 2 Because they are matchless.
What is that which, when thrown out, you
may always catch without hands7 A hint
A Boston cobbler announces for sale
slipper for the foot of Mount Washington.
If the ant gives an example of industry,
it is much more than good many uncies
do.
1t is stated as a singular fact that the
smaller ladies' bonnets grow the more they
cost.
We heard of a man the other day who is
so mean that when he weeps he saves the
tears to secure the salt.
Why is divinity the easiest of the three
learned professions Because it's easier to
preach than to practice.
~"Say, Jack, can you tell us what's the
best thing to hold two PIECES of rope to-
gether ?" 81 guess not"
Time never passes so slowly and tedious
" as to the idle and listless. The best
cure for dullness is to keep busy.
Remember, though we travel the wide
world over to find the beautiful, we must
carry it with us or we find it not.
A typographical mistake of n for an
makes u country paper say, "A locomotive
went over q cow, and cut it into calves"
excuse me sir" said a beggar, " but
you have given me % counterfeit" Well,
we'll, my child, keep it for your honesty"
A bricklayer, who had fallen into a tub
of mortar, was asked If he was hurt much,
replied, mo, but l am suffering mortar
DOM"
''Your whiskers are unprofessional,n said
a client to his legal adviser. "Why so 2"
" Because lawyer can never be too bare
faced"
There are trees so tall in Missouri that it
takes two men and q boy to look to the top
of them. One looks till he gets tired, and
another commences. ,----..,-..-.. ..............
"All things from above are not bless
ings," as the parSon said when brick from
a chimney-top fell upon his tile and smash
ed it into Il cocked-hat.
The man who imagined himself wise be-
cause he detected some typographical errors
in a newspaper, has gone east to get 4 per-
pendicular view of the rainbow.
Leave you, my friend" said "a tipsy
fellow, clnging to q lamp post<6n a dark
night "leave you in copdition not to
take care of yourself, (hicN never"
Most of the sladows>tfiat cross our path
through life are caused by our standing in
our own light. How many stand almost
constantly with their backs to the sun!
"What have you to remark about my
oratory9o once asked u vain public speaker
of Cnrran. Nothing, sir; it is not re-
markable," quietly replied the merciless
wit. - y.
~ haven't taken drop of liquor for
year," said an individual of questionable
morals. "Indeed! but which of your fea-
lures are we to believe, your lips or your
nose z"
A young dandy, calling one day lately at
the residence of a young lady, asked the
servant to be allowed to see her mistress,
and being told she was .! engaged" coolly
demanded, "To whom Z"
Mr.. Makeweight has gone into the coun-
W e-etstea-hittt wftetttcr-tt,- the-vts-
gong to take the ii o'clock A. NJ. train
the p. NJ Neither" he replied q" am
only going to take carpet-bag."
the subscribers to your paper? ~ Ger
tainly, sir" "Well, then, III go &nd get
married; for don't see any other way of
getting my name into your paper, since you
have rejected all my poetical effusions."
Can you see any thing in my eye, it
feels very n" asked lazy, good-for-
nothing student of Oliver Wendell Holmes.
~ can see a very bad pupil" was the reply
of the Professor, who never likes to be fun
ny when he has his professional gown on.
>Kalkbrenner, the pianist, was exceeding
ly proud of his nobility. "My pedigree"
he said one day. to a friend of his, " can be
traced up to the Crusades. One of my an
cestors accompanied the Emperor Barbar-
oss9-" On the grand piano, suppose"
said his friend.
On one of the state trials the judge shook
his head while Curran was speaking. He
could not restrain his wit to the jury: "Be-
ileve me, gentlemen, if you remain here
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