The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-12-08
HOW HE CAME TO BE MARRIED.

departed: oyster stews, brandy cock
tails, cigar boxes, boot-jacks, abscond-
ING shirt buttons. whist and demij john.
Shadows present: hoop-skirts, band
boxes, ribbons, garters, long stockings,
juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, httie
willow chairs, cradles, bibs, sugar
teats, paregoric, hive syrup, rhubarb,
SIENNA, salts, squills and doctors bills.
I'll Just tell you how got caught. l
was always the darndest, most tea-cus-
tard bashful fellow you ever did see;
it was kinder in my line to be taken
with the shakes every time I saw
pretty gal approaching me, and I'd
cross the street any time rather than
face one; twasn't because didn't like
the critters, for if l was behind the
fence looking through knot hole l
could not look long enough. Wen,
my sister Lib gave party one night
and I started away from home, because
/ was too bashful to face the music. L
hung around whistling "Old Dan Tuck
err dancing to keep my feet warm,
watching the heads bobbing up and
down behind the window curtains, and
wishing the laundering party would
break mp so could get at my room.-
I smoked up bunch of cigars, and it
was getting late and mighty uncom-
Portable, so I concluded to shin up the
door post. No sooner said than done,
and I soon found myself snug in bed.
"Now," says 1, "let her rip! Dance
till your wind gives out" And eud-
ding down under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me.
was dreaming of soft shell crab and
stewed tripe, and having good time
when somebody knocked at my door
and woke me up. crap again." sad
low. crap, rap, rap" Then 1 heard
whispering, and l knew there was
whole raft of gals outside. Then Lib
sings out:
"Jack, are you there 7"
"Yes," says l.
Then came a roar Of laughter.
ssLet us in," said she.
81 WON'T said |. "Can't you let
fellow alone 7"
care you abed 2" said she.
81 am" says l.
Then came another laugh.
By thunder began to get rilcd.
"Get out, You perforated scare
crows" says |. "Can't you get beau
without hauling fellow out of bed9 L
won't go home with you-so you may
all clear out.". And throwing a boot at
the door, felt better. But presently
heard a still small voice, very much
like sister Lbs, and it said:
slack, you'll have to get up, for all
the girls things are there"
Oh, mercy what dickle! Think
of me, i'm bed. all covered with Inutfs,
shawls, bonnets and cloaks, and TWEEN
ty girls outside the door waiting to get
in! If had stopped to think should
have pancaked on the spot. AS it was
rolled out among the bOnnetware and
ribbons in a hurry. Smash went the
millinery in every direction. L had to
dress in the dark-for there was crack
in the door, and girls will peep-and
the way | fumbled about was death on
straw hats. The critical moment came,
I opened the door and found myself
right among the women.
t.Oh, my leghorn!" cried one. "My
darling winter velvet!" cried another,
and they pitched in-they pulled me
this yay and that, boxed my ears, and
one bright eyed little piece-Sal was
her name-put her arms around my
neck and kissed me right on the lips.
Human nature could not stand that,
and l gave her as good as she sent. 1t
was the first time ever get the taste
and it was powerful good. I believe ]
could have kissed that gal from Julius
Caesar to the Fourth of July.
"Jack," said she, "we are sorry to
disturb you, but won't you see me
home Z"
eyes WILL" said +.
/ did do it and had another smack at
the gate.
After that we took kinder turtle
dove after each other, both of us sigh
ing like a barrel of new cider when we
were away from each other.
Twas at the close of glorious sum-
mer day, the sun setting behind dis
tant hen roost, bullfrogs were COM
mencing their evening songs, and pol
ly-wogs in their native mud puddles
were preparing themselves for the
shades of night, and Sal aud myself
sat upon an antiquated back log listen.
ing to the music of nature, such as tree
toads, ROSTERS and grunting pigs, and
now and then the music of Il .jackass
was waited to our ears by the gentle
zephyrs that sighed among the muller
stalks and heavily laden with the de
fcious odors of hen rOosts and pig
styes. The last lingering rays of the
setting sun, glancing from the buttons
of a solitary horseman, shone through
a knot hole in hog pen, full in SAILS
face, dying her hair an orange peel hue
and showing off my thread bare coat
to bad advantage. One of my arms
was around SAILS waist, my hand rest
ing on the small of her back she was
toying with my auburn locks of JET
black hue, she was almost gone and
was almost ditto. She looked like a
grasshopper dying with the hiccups,
and 1 felt like a mud turtle choking
with Goldfish ball.
"Sal," says | in a voice musical as
the notes of dying swan, "will you
have me 7"
She raised her eyes heavenwarti and
clasped me by the hand, had an attack
of the heaves and blind staggers, and
with a sigh that drew her shoestrings
to her palate, said-''Yes."
She gave clear out then and suuatted
In my lap. l Rugged her till broke
my suspenders and her breath smelt of
onions she had eaten two weeks be-
fore.
Well, to make long story short, she
set the day, and practiced for four
weeks every night how we would en-