Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1869-12-10
From the New York Express.
PUTTING UP STOVES.


In consequence of the arrival of
cold weather once more, about these
davs there is a universal putting up of
stoves preparatory for the Winter cam
paien; and undoubtedly great deal
Of profanity is INDUCED in. One who
has considerable experience IN the
work of putting up stoves says the
first step to etaken is to put on very
old and ragged coat, under the Impress
ion that when he gets his mouth full of
plaster It will keep his shirt bosom
clean. Next he gets his hand inside
the place where the pipe ought to go
and blacks his fingers, and then he
carefully makes a black mark down
one side of his nose. 1t is impossible
70 make any headWay in doing this
work, until hismark is made down the
side of his nose. Having got his face
properly marked, the victim is ready
to begin the ceremony.
The head Of the family--Who is the
big goose of the sacrifice -grasps one
side of the bottom of the stove, and
his wife and the hired girl take hold
Of the other side. In this way the
load is started from the Woodshed to-
ward the parlor. Going through the
door, the head of the family will care
fully SWING his side Of the stove
around and jam his thumb against the
door post. (This part of the ceremo-
ny is never omitted.) Having got the
stove comfortably in place, the next
thing is to find the legs Two of these
are left inside the stove since the
Spring before, The other two must
be hunted after for twenty five min
utes. They are usually found under
the coal. Then the head Of the fami
IL holds up one side of the stove
while his wife puts two 81. the legs in
place, and next he holds up the other
side while the other two are fixed, and
enc of the first two fall out.
By the time the stove is on its legs
he gets reckless, and takes off his old
coat regardless of his linen. Then he
goes off for the pipe and gets a cinder
In his eye. 1t don't make any differ
enee how we'll the pipe was put upaast
year, it will be found little too short
or little too long. The head of the
family jams his hat over his eyes, and
taking pipe under each arm goes to
the tin shop TO have it fixed. When
he gets. back he steps upon. one. of the
best parior chairs to see IF the pipe
fits, and bis wife makes him get down
for fear he viii scratch tho Harnish ef
from the chair with the nails IN his
heel. In getting down he viii surely
step on the cat, ana may thank his
stars If it Is not the baby.
Then he gets an cid ehaipand climbs
up to the chimney again, to ind thai
in cutting off the end has been lefi
too big for the hole in the chimney
So he goes to the wood shed and and
splits one side Of the end of the pipe
with aud old ak, and squeezes 1t in hi'
hands to make it smaller. Finally hC
gets the pipe In shape and finds tha
the stove does not stand true, TheI
himself and wife and the hired gir
move the stove to the left and the leg
fall out again. Next it is to be moveC
to the right. More difficulty with. tn
legs. Moved to the front little. El
bow not even with the hole In tn
chimney, and he goes to the Woodshet
after some little blocks.
Will putting the blocks under tn
legs the pipe comes out OF the chm
ney. That remedied, the elbow keep
tipping over, to the great alarm of tn
wife. Head of family gets the dInne
table out, puts the old chair on 1t, get
his wife to hold the chair, and balance
himself on it to drive some nails int
the ceiling. Drops the hammer o
wIfe'sshead. At last gets the nail
driven, makes wire to hold the pip,
hammers a little here, pulls a littl
there, takes a long breath, and an
nounces the ceremony completed
OBJ never put up any stoves.
would have ruined his reputation if
had 1883 $50