The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-10-07
JOSH BILLINGS EA"4 as.
TIE HORNET

conclusions, OF end.
His natral disposishen IL warm cross
between red pepper in the pod and tusii
oil, and h;z moral bias Z, ''git oct ov nj
way"
They have long b!acl, boldly, divided
in the middle by a waist spot, ba, their
phisikal importance hays at lie terminus
of their subburb, in the shape Of j.ye-
lin.
This jayelin IS alwaz loaded and stands
reddy 10 unload at miuuits warning,
and enters q man IS still as IhoIGht, ~
spry az litening, and ~ iuil Ov Inelaakoliy
as the tuuthake.
Hornets never arey case they settle
swl ov their differences o. op;uyun b
letting their javeiin iy, and are ~ certain
10 hit az a mule L.
This testv cri;ter lives in congregations
numbering about 100 sous, but whether
they are mail or female, or conservative.
CT matched in bonds OF wedl0ck, or
whether they are MurmUus, and good
many Cv them king together and keep
one husband 10 save expense. | don't kno
nor don't kare.
| never have examined their habits
much. l never considered it healthy.
Hornets build their nests wherever they
take noshcn &c, and seldom are disiu bed.
for what would it profit man TO kill %
hornets and hav tie lO3lh one hit him
with hiz javcl!n.
They bid their nests ov paper. without
emmy windows TO them or back Doors
m - h., ono rI,ao C{ .,,i.,,;s-;, yr.I
the nest IL the shape ov an overerown
pineapple, and Il cat Up into just as many
bedrooms rs there IL hornets
It Z very simple to make q hornets
nest if yu kan, but viii wager euny man
800 dollars he kant bill one that he could
sell 10 q horne; fuE half price.
Hornets are as bizzy as their second
couzins, the bees, bat wha; iley are about
the Lord only knows they don't lay up
enuy honey, nor emmy money they seem
TO be bizzy only jist for the sake Of work
ing all the time they are always in a
mulch OF hurry as tho they waz gong
for a dokler.
| suppose this uneasy word would grind
around on its aXle-tree onst in p hours,
even ef thare warnt emmy hornets, but
hornets must be good for sun.hiug, Tho /
kant think now what itiz
Ihare haint been bug made yet in
vain, nor one that want good job there
Il ever lots Of human men luating around
blacksmith shops, and cider mills, all over
the country, that don't seem to be neccssa-
ry for anything but 10 beg plug tobacco
and swear, and steal water melons, but
yu let the cholera break ont once, and then
yu will see the wisdom Of having iist sich
men laying around they help kount.
Next tew the cocSrodch, who stands
t2w the head, the hornet haz most waste
stummuk, in reference tew the rest Of hiz
boldly, than emmy of the inSek populashun,
and here IL another mystery; what on
'artb duz a hornet want 50 much reserved
corps for p?
/ hav jist thought-tew carry his jave-
lin In; thus, you see, tie more we dis
kover about things the more we are apt
TO know.
1t IL always a good purchase tew pay
out our last surviving dollar for wisdum ;
and wisdum II like the mysterious hens
eeg-it aint laid in yere hand, but IL laid
away under the barn, and va have got to
sarch for it.
The hornet IL an unsoshall kuss He
IL more naughty than he IL proud. He
IL a thorough bred bug, but his breeding
and refinement has made him like sum
otEer folks I know ov, dissatisfied with
himself and every boldly else; ; too much
good breeding ackts this way sometimes.
Hornets are loug~lived-I kant state
iist how long their lives are, but l know
1rcm inslinkt and observashen that euny
kritter, be he bug OF be he devil, who IL
mad all the time, and stings every good
chance he kan git, generally outIives all
his nabers.
The only way TO Git at the exact fife
ing weIaht ov the hornet is tew tuch him,
Jet him bit you once with his jAvelin, and
you will be willing to testify in court that
somebody run a one-Iined pitchfork inter
yer and as for grit, / will state for the
informashun of thoze who haven't had a
chance tew lay in their vermin wisdom az
freely az ] hav, that one single hornet,
who feels well, will break up large camp
meeting.
What the hornets do for amuzament IL
another question kant answer, but sum
ov the best read, and heavyest thinkers
among the naturalis;s say they have tar
get excursions, and heave their javelins
at a mark but don t imagine this asser-
shun trew, for never knu emmy body so
bitter at heart az the hornets are to waste
bow.
Thare IL one thing that a hornet duz
that Will give him credit for on my books
he alwuz attends to his own Dizziness,
and won't allow emmy boldly else tew at
tend tew it for him and what he duz IL
aIwuz good job +; if they make emmy mis-
takes, it IL after dark, and aint seen.
If the hornets made half as many blum
ders NJ the men do, even with their jave-
Inns, every boldly would laff at them.
Hornets are clear in another way, they