The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1869-12-03
A Quaker Detective

A Quaker Detective
We were FIVE passengers in all
two ladies on the back seat, IL middle
aged gentleman, and u Quaker on the
middle, and myself OIL the one III
front.
The two ladies' might Lave been
mother and daughter, aunt and niece,
g"vcrncss and charge, or might have
sustained any other relationship il
which made it proper for two ladie.
to travel togcth her unattended.
The middlc-a gcd gentleman was
spright;y and talkativs. Hc soon
struck up an .cquaintancc with the
ladies, toward whom in his yea; to do
he rather orerdid tue agreeable
bowin, and chatting over his should.
erin way painfully suggestive, at
his time of life, of a "crick" in tho
neck. lie was evidently gay Lo.
thario.
The Quaker wore thv uniform ol
his4sect, and confined his speech. a.
many parliamentarian would save his
credit by doing, simple yeas and
mays As for myself, | make it
an invariablc rule Of the road to be
merely looker-on and listener.
Towards evening, 1 was aroused
from one Of those rcverics into which
a young man without being either a
pct or lover, will sometimes fall by
the abrupt query from the taikative
fSentleman:
""Are you armed, sir ?"
Il am not" I answered, astonisL.
cd, no doubt v;sibly, at the question.
II an. sorry to hear it" he replied;
''for before reaching our stopping
place it will be several hours in the
night, and We must pass over por.
tion Of the road on which more tha n
one robbery is reported to have been
The ladies turned pale, and the
stranger did his best to rcassurc them.
Not that l think there is the
slightest danger at present" he re.
sumed; "only when one IS RESPONSE.
blc for the safety If ladies, you know,
such thing as u pistol in reach
would materially add to ones conf.
dencc."
" Your principles my friend" ad-
dressing the Quaker, II presume,
arc as much opposed to carrying us
to using carnal weapons"
''Yes." was the response.
"Havc the villains murdered any
Of their victims?" the elder Of the
ladies ncrvously inquired. ~.
"Or have they contentcd thcmsclv-
cs witl-with plundcring them:'' adj
.lcd the younger, in timorous tone.
Decidedly the latter" the anna
ble man hasted to give assurance :
land as We arc none Of US prepared
to give resistance in case of attack,
nothing more than robbery can Dc
fall us. . ~ e. ~ ~ 7.
Then, after blaming his thought
lessness to having unnec essarily in.
troduced ! diyagrceatle% subject the
gentleman quite cxcclled himself il
efforts to raise the spirits Of the com
pany, and succeeded 50 we'll by the
time night set in that all had quit.
forgotten. or only rcmcm5 5cred then
fears to laugh ut them. 7
Our genial companion fairly talkct
himself hoarsc. Pcrceiying whirb
he took from his pocket package 0,
newly invented ''cough candy" ant
after passing it first to the ladies. h.
helped himself to the balance, an,
tossed the paper out Of the window.
He was in the midst Of high econ
ium on the new ncstru,n, more thu,
half the efficacy of which, he insisted
depended on it's being by suction
when y shrill whistle was heard, ant
almost Immediately the coach stop
ped. while two faces. hideously black
ened, presented themselves ut cacl
window.
, "Scrry to trouble you," said tn
man on tho right, acknowledging witt
. bow two lady-like screams from tn
back scat; ''but 'bisness is bisness.
and ours will soon be over If thing
80 Oft smoothly"
''Of course, gentlemen, you vii
spare as far AZ may be consisten n
with your disagrecable duty. the feel
. ings Of these ladies'" appealed tn
: polite passenger in his blandcst man
ncr.
: "Oh! certaialy; they shall be frs
. ATTENDED to, and shall not be rcquir
: ed to leave their places, or submit t
J q search, unless their conduct render
: it necessary"
"And now, ladies'" continue
t tho robbcr, the barrel Of his risto
I cleaning in tho light Of the coac
lamp, "be SO good as to pass out you
I purses. watches and such other trinl
Il cts as may be accessible without to
!. much trouble >
9 The ladies came down handsomely
and were not further molcsted.
One by one tho rest Of Us wer
compelled to get out. the middle-agc
gentleman's turn coming first. II