Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-05-11
Seeds.
Light diet-The feast of lanterns.

Light diet-The feast of lanterns.
Available space-A womans face.
Burning words-A dictionary on fire.
Every belle who marries is a Belle Boyed.
Can chance shot be termed deed without
an AIM?
In game of cards good deal depends on a
good deal.
The bored of education-S choolboys on
summer afternoon.
Reporters and large class of brokers get
their living on notes.
No wonder that the squirrel is accused of
chattering-he is certainly great tail-bearer.
A man in Scotland who had been ordered
leeches for an injury, took them boiled in his
his cruel,
Andy Johnson asks: "Whose ass have ta-
ken = 1t is but fair to say that none are mis-
sing in Washington.
!. blade out in the Western wilds writes
home 1.-THE report of my marriage is ground
less, and shall continue to live on the Euro
pean plan, +"
One New Haven editor calls another "mor-
al hyena, whose foul and fostering tongue drips
with gall and aquafortis. - They've had an
election lately.
A newspaper says at a recent lecture the au-
dence 'sat spell-bound. p" There were only
four persons present-one was deaf and the re-
mainder were asleep.
Lord Norbury, having been asked to contrib
ute shilling to bury an attorney who had died
poor, exclaimed, Only shilling to bury an
attorney Here's guinea; go and bury TWEEN
ty-one OF them u
A lady in Paris was out Of all patience and
spirits at hearing nothing but French day after
day One morning she heard a cock Growing,
and exclaimed '"Thank God there's some
body who speaks English
A country sculptor in England was ordered
to engrave upon stone, "a virtuous woman is
o crown to her husband but, being pinohed
for room, the epitaph was contracted thus ga
virtuous woman is IS to her husband
BRIEF BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES General
Duke of Welington-an officer of the British
Army. Mr.. Longfelow makes honorable men
ton of him as the Warden Of the Cirque Ports
Cinque means fve-and he was the proprietor
of five principal ports, or stragetical points,
usually denominated the Five Points He lived
to ripe old age and died.
A country magistrate used to tell the court a
story of an old lady he once knew who was
sight excellent Accordingly, one day neigh
Dor stuck darning needle in the side of the
barn, and placing her On the opposite side of
the road, asked her if she could see it. "Oh
yes, replied the old lady, II can see the nee
die easy; but whar's the barn?''
"John, lend me your knife" said Bill Il
shan't do it, .growled John Il haint got
any knife; besides [ want to use it myself
This was equaled recently by the excuses of a
grocer for not treating loafer to some cider. =
Unfortunately, said the sly fellow, my clerk
has carried off the key of the closet" ''Nev-
er mind, remarked the visitor; lone of nv
keys will open it. mo it WON'T snapped
the grocer, for the confounded clerk carried off
the closet, too!''
Look hea, Sam, said a niger to field
hand over the fence-look hea-d'ye see dat
tall tree down dar?
Yes, Jim, does.
Wall | got up dat tree night afore to- mesrow.
What you up dat tree arter?
| was arter coon.
You cotch him Jim?
Wait till tell de fax, Sambo.
Well exceed.
| chased de coon out to de udder end of dat
longest limb and den | hear sunfn drap-What
you 'spose it was, Sam?
De coon OBJ cose.
No you don't-'twas dis here foolish nigga
like to broke he neck-bin limpin ever since.