Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-09-23
Matrimonial Advertising.

Matrimonial Advertising.
A LADY, who had no idea of looking for
a husband, but with large procliyities for
mischief and for fun put matrimonial
advertisement in the New York HerdLd,
with directions for answers to be sent to a
certain signature at the Broadway post
office. As the advertisement appealed to
the practical appreciation, by assuming a
neat little fortune, in addition to an agree
able person. the seed Of such temptation
could not well fall idly upon such fertile
bottom as is offered by the city of New
York On the first day that succeeded the
advertisement the lady received seventeen
replies; on the second day thirty-two; and
on the third, seventy-two, an extent and
ardor Of appreciation for her vaguely de-
Scribed personal attractions, which even
she was not prepared to expect.
BeWidered by the warm volume Of ado
ration and cntreaty which issued from this
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, the lady called to her
aid five ladies as mischieyous as herself
One pair of hands and one mind were, Of
course, quite unequal to the task of an
swcrng ALL 50 the billct-douX were divided
equally among them, and each was to
make an appointment with writers OH the
following Saturday afternoon, at four
o'clock, on the lower side Of the upstairs
saloon of certain popular restaurant in
Broadway. Each Of the ladies, moreover,
who took the task in charge, chose a diff
ferent colored paper for replies. Finally
it was agreed that the whole six should be
present at the interview, and that each
should wear the exact costume prescribed
for the,inamorata whom the signing SWANS
would be there to see On the other hand,
the gentlemen were directed to appear in
all the varieties of attire and position
which female ingenuity and mischief could
devise. One was requested to wear blue
coat with brass buttons; another to have
his hair parted in the middle; one was to
be eating plate of pork and beans, which,
said the ingenious writer who dictated it,
"you can scarcely expect will be called for
by anybody else Others were to be
partaking of various Dishes or to place
themselves in such posturcS as were di-
rccted by the writer.
At four o'clock on the prescribed Sat
urday afternoon, every chair at every
table on the lower side of the upstairs
saloon was filled with sleek looking and
highly perlumed LeandcrS, all gazing into
each others faces, and each secretly ours
ing the luck which wcdged him so closely
out of the killing position and displays
which he had been meditating ever since
he got his note And how the dishes
smoked, and the wondering walters few
Even the perpleXcd landlord, amazed at
this miraculous tlDE of business, was
obliged TO drop his own mutton chop, and
call out the entire force of his establish
mcnt to meet the clamorous if not threat
cning demands of gentlemen who feared
they might not get their telegraphing
plates of duck or mess of pork and beans
in time At length the clash ofshcen and
kick of stiff skirts was heard coming up
the stairs one minute after the hour, and
an inamorata appeared dressed in dark
green, with deep fur cape and abundant
dropping lace She was watcred on the
back of the head with an intnitcsimul
bonnet, and carried in her hand the
magic rift of cambria, whose ShakspCrcan
strawberries intimated that she was she
When she appeared the sensation was uni
vcrsal the gentleman with the buff vest
threw open his coat to 'hc extreme; the
gentleman i'm the blue and the bright but
tons buttoned his coat entirely to the
chin: the gentleman who was to lean
backward commenced fitting like a Chi.
neSe mandarin; the gentleman with the
pork and beans became yOcterOus tormora
beans while the others, who had duck,
etc, were equally clamorous in complain
ing of the undue tulhllmCnt oithcr orders
Never was there such a CNmor heard in
that usually well regulated upstairs saloon
before, and, by the by, never subsidized
more suddenly than when new brush Of
skirts was heard coming up the stairs All
the I.otharioS were once more IN position,
when 10 another Cordclja, in all respects
the reflex Of the first, appeared, bearing
the film of strawberries as challenge in
her hand sweeping with it like % Juno to
% scat near The location of the first Ii is
needless 20 say that the sensation was
now extreme Some of the gentlemen
who were To part their hair in the middle
began however, 10 look turi0u,.y at gem
tlemen who had their hair parted in The
same way, as much rs 90 soy, Wei, there
is one tor each otus, anyhow" But most
&c the party seemed more troubled than
before. 4 pause OF some minutes sue,
crgded before any new appearance
took place, during which time The Lotba-
rios were engaged in displaying their
points 60 the best advantage and some.
more ardent than the resi-, pulled emit ihe
various colored notes they had received,
ahd either pretended to read them Of laid
tbemgonsplpuously on tho table There's
ono ST my fellows with the blue not
said mystery No Lover her spoonful Of
srup. AZ mystery Na. There, aHu d.
mime. said Cordoba Dig second h 5