The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1869-08-12
T0L. 65.---WH0LE No. $500.
A STRANGE aRrAMoRrHosIs.
The Terre Hauts ind Journal tel

The Terre Haute ind. Journal tells
this highly veracious story:
A few nights since the residence of a
prominent citizen was entered by a
burglar, and some valuable jeweIry
and other property stolen and carried
away. But before leaving the house,
1t appears he paid visit to nearly ev-
cry apartment in it. Traces of him
were found about and below stairs
wherever, indeed, it was probable any
valuables could be obtained. 1t so
happened that one member of the fam
lily belonged to that much abused and
very excellent class of society called
"old maids" She is a free-hearted,
generous lady, intelligent and refined,
and the only fear that her well-balanc-
ed mind had ever known, is the ap-
prehension that in some evil hour
Satan will lure her affections into the
keeping Of that abomination of her
mind, a man. The good lady prays
every day that no such evil may befall
her, and that she may live and die in
maiden meditation fancy free. Now,
whether the burglar knew this peculi-
arity of the lady's mind or not, he at
all events determined to play her a
very practical joke. To this end he
carefully removed from the chair on
which she had neatly folded and laid
it, all her wearing apparel, and SUBJ
stituted, from another room, COM
plete suit Of gentleman's clothes. Then
taking off a huge pair of false whis-
kers, he carefully adjusted them to the
face of the sleeping lady. OF course
he could not wait to see the denoue-
ment, but that pleasure was reserved
for the family the next morning. A.
wakening at an early hour, the good la
dy proceeded to the mirror ian invaria-
bic practice with ladiesl to enjoy a look
at her face. The first glance petrified
her with horror. Was she indeed
man? The latent superstition of her
nature reviving, she imagined that
Satan had been playing her a horrible
revenge for her animosity to the male
creation. She staggered to a chair,
and, almost broken-hearted, concluded
to dress and send for a barber. But
now she noticed for the first time that
her clothes, too, were gone, and a gen
tteman's outfit was substituted in thei
stead. She was certain now that the
metamorphosis was complete, and,
resigning herself to the situation, tried
to don the apparel. But having no
experience in the adjustment of this
new-fangled apparel, and habit being
stronger than instinct, she found that
every time she put the pantaloons ov-
er her head, she encountered an impe-
| diment that defied all her efforts to
overcome. In short, the pants would
not go over her head. At last, in de-
spair, she rang for assistance, and, her
maid appearing at the door, she cried
out:
Don't comet in, Betty, for I'm q man
now but just please step in and ask
brother if he usually puts his breech-
es on over head, or commences feet
foremost
Ft is needless to say the message as
tonished the household. 1t was some
time before the lady would admit to
her apartments any one of either sex,
for fear she might make a mistake;
but finally one more adventurous than
the rest pushed open the door, and
convinced the sorely tried maid that
she had not forsaken her estate, but
was yet one of the angels of earth.