The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1869-05-21
s6LLUn THOUGHTS.
BIZ JOSH BILLINGS.

Hope ia hen that lays more eggs than
she kan latch out
Better cave yure child virtew than
money; INT this IL secret known only
| tew a few
honestly beleave it IL better tew
know nothing than tew know what amt
so.
| About The hardest work phelIo kan
du IL tew spark two gals, at once, and
preserve good average.
ffudet4iz one ov viFtew's bastards.
A nickN@me will Outlive emmy man or
thing, iti3 like the crook in dogg's
tale; you may cut it oph, and throw it
behind the barn, but the crook is thare
| yet, and the stump is the epitaph.
| II you Eilalize what most men kali
plezzure, Ron will find it composed ov
one part h5nibugg, and two parts pam.
When Ep0 hain't got nothing tew do,
do It at oifee; this il the way tew learn
to be bizz
We Ileyk been fold that the best way
to overkum nTisfortunes IL tew fight
with them-I hav tried both ways, al d
recommend successful dodge.
The art Ov becoming ov importance
in the eyes of others, il not tew over
rate ourself, but tew cause them tew
do it.
The true way few understand the
judgments oV heaven is to submit to
them.
The mind of man il like piece Of
land that, tew be useful, must be manur-
ed with learning, ploughed with ener-
CIV, sown with virtew, aud harvested
with ekonemF.
Conversation should be enliVened
with wit, not composed of it.
The less man knows, the more he
will guess at; and guessing IL nothing
more than suspicion.
Going tew law liz like SHINING a new
mich COW for the hide, and giving the
meat few the lawyers.
Phools are quite often like hornets,
very busy, but about what, the Lord
only knows.
Living on hope, is like living on wind,
a good way tew get phull, but poor
way tew git phatt.
Jealousy don't pay, the best it can do,
IL tew discover what we don't want to
find, nor don't expekt to.
Secrets are mortgage on friendships.
l don't think bad man liz az danger
Gus az weak one-I don't think bile
that has come few he'd, liz az risky az
az hidden one, that may come to a
dozen beds.
A vivid imagination liz like sum
glasses, makes things at a distance look
I" lSO oS OAS 40 am SiuSS US
twice as small as they am.
Hope is a draft OIL fIIturity, sumtimes
honored, but generally extended.
Ii the world dispizes hypokrit,
what must they think ov him in Heaven?
Flattery IL like Kolone water, tew be
smclt ov, not swallowed.
Men generally, when they whip mule,
sware; the mule remembers the sware-
ing, but forgits the licking.
Sum folks wonder WHARF all the lies
cum from, but | don't, one good liar
will piZen whole country.
Hunting after fame is like hunting
after feat, hard tew ketch, and sure tew
make yu eneazy if yu dew or don't kctch
them.
Menny people spend their time try
ing tew find the hole where sin got into
this world-if two men brake through
the ice into a mill-pond they had bet
ter hunt for sum good hole 10 git out,
rather than git into long argument
about the hole they cum tew fail in.
Imaginashun, tew much INDUCED in,
soon is tortured into reality; this il one
way that good boss thiets are made,
man leans over fence all day, and
imagines the boss in the lot belongs tew
him, and sure enutf, the fust dark night,
the hoss does.
If you must chaw terbacker, young
man, for Heavens sake, chaW old plugg,
it is the nastyest.