Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-11-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

LAWYERS insure their lives il the Wash
ington of New York. .-s-4's 80. ~
OLD CURMUDGEoN says his wife is a
help me eat instead of a help-meet.-
MAXIM for the lazy: No farmer can
pillow field by turning it over In his
mind r ...s xss.s s =fa
"Grandpa, did you know that the United
States has been in the habit of encour-
aging and acknowledging tories ?" "What
kind of tories?" Territories
THE New Haven Leger sounds this note
of warning: Beware, young man The
pearl powder now used by her is poison
One touch of those eager lips to that
enameled cheek may result in death most
horrible! Bewarrrre."
FULFILLING THE LAW
Let each one strive with all his might
To be a decent man,
And love his brother as himself
Upon the golden plan;
And if his neighbor chance to be
-.-# A pretty female woman,
Why, love her all the more-you see
That's only acting human.
SOME people don't believe in advertis-
ing, because they say "nobody reads the
papers" But let them get into a scrape
and you will find them running around
to the newspaper offices with the request,
"Please don't mention that little affair;
it's mistake; don't want my name pub
lished all over the country"
A MINISTER was walking out one day,
and passed two little boys, one of whom.
made bow. AS he turned his back he
heard the following amusing conversation:
"Why, John, didn't you know that was
Parson M" eyes, of course | did"
"Well, why did you not make bow. to
him?" why, my mother don't belong
to his church."
| RI. REV. BISHOP POTTER, OF PENN
sYLvANIA.-HIs OPINION" Life Assur-
ance may be employed advantageously
| for the benefit of families and individuals
of ALL CLASSES OF SOCIETY, as well for
those in affiuence as for those in moderate
circumstances ALI may, by the exertion
of little forethought and small outlay,
! protect their families from want Insure
| in the Washington Life. =, r.. 10y ~ i.
JINKs explains the Specification of nine
| weddings: r ,r... -.f.-.-..
| wooden MISUNDERSTANDING bloekhead.
| golden wedding Marrying for money ID. ,,..
crystal wedding-M glass eye. -.s-
tin Wedding Marrying milkmaid. eH
A paper Notwithstanding an editor - -
| A silver wedding Marrying an old maid of sixty
An IRON Notwithstanding blacksmith.
/ a plain MISUNDERSTANDING carpenter f. ..s
| brass Notwithstanding an impudent maH.
A LUNATIc's LOVE .SoNG.-The, follow
ing song was written by an inmate of the
Lunatic Asylum at Utica, N Y:
Gayly the tiger cat tuned his guitar, ~
| Serenading the magpie with feathers and tar
| Sweetly he sneezed at her, sourly he sighed:
LADY -bird, lady bird, wilt be my bride?"
She for the elephant sadly had pined,
| Ate but an OK, and then vowed she hadn't dined;
| DlOtOofaDh
| Wrapped up in Holsters, bank notes and plum tart
| At midnight the rivals met in the whale,
! And fought by the light of the grasshoppers TAIL
| The elephant stood on his trunk to take BREATH
| And the tiger cat costly Rugged him to DEATH
And then like cabbage-stalk boldly he wrote
| Come love, and tread on the tail of my coat 1
See thy own crocodile whstling for thee Il !
He groaned-gave gurgle-a cold corpse was he
THE following are few of the many
singularly directed letters which pass
through the New York post office, and
which betray~ ignorance and culpable care
! lessness: "Mister Makarti, care of Mister
Muldoon, forninst the Protestant Church,
| New York" "Miss Marian Elish Plunket,
Pigun hill postof1s, neer the river Arkan-
sar." James Prince Esq, California. y
Henry Z. Everzer, treasurer of the Elk
celsior baseball club, illinois," 4" M. Gull
laume Favie, Rue de Fremont, Vile de
Cassillanas, DIES Etats Unis, Nord Ameri
que" "Bill Clements, at Cross roads,
Burbon Kounti, Kintuky." Heinrich
Won Schappen sitmil arpensil" Secre-
tary ofthe Insurance Company, Philadel-
phia" "To the Hon. Rev. Mr.. Nasty,
care of Mr. Bascom, at the Corners, Ken
lucky" "Charles Kannerschmidtz-
the boarding house on Carroll st., Rich
mond." 5" Mikul Kelly, hodsman, Sinsiati' y
"Mr. Edgar Smith (no city or State
given). "To the member of Congress
from Ohio"