The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-08-31
TUESDAY, AUGUST 81, 1869.
1PE UE BECOMTYG INDIANS?

CERTAIN SdgGnS of Europe have ceased for a
while theirponderous speculations on the habits
of the megatherium and the food OF the
ichthyosaurus, and casting aside their favorite
Dryasdust topics, they are bending all the
energies of their mighty minds to an estab-
Iishment of the theory that Americans are
rapidly assuming the physical characteristics'
of Indians" GA scientific gentleman of Phi
ladelphia, who has very prudently copebaled
his name, has unhappily exposed to sFrench-
man the family secrets which he should have
kept closely locked in the recesses of his sci
entifc breast, but as the Frenchman has cru
elly blabbed them to the world, and the worst
is now known, we may as well repeat here
the evidence he has given to support the in
dictment which has been brought against us:-
"The Anglo-Amercan presents from the second
generation characteristics OF tue type which Is not
unlike that OF the hehhl LeAapis Cle lrOluols, duu
the Cherokee tudInS. The skin becomes dry as
leather il loses the warmth OF color aud ruddlneSS
OF cheeks, and in their st6a me color Ol nuu Jlhc-
lures it in men, and an inspid paeness in women
The head decreases in size, ana becomes r0und or
pointed. 1t is covered With snOOth hair OF dark
color. The neck lengthens. The eyes are sunken
in deep cavities which are quite near each other.
The iris becomes dark the eyes cIpress IN piercing
and wild. The long bones lclgthen chiefly in the
upper extremity"
When eye gentle slvages' were driven from
their lands, thirsting for revenge, they little
knew what terrible fate awaited us, and
even the most blool-thirsty warriors who
have been translated to the happy hunting
grounds where big chiefs who take heap white
scalps are supposed to go, must look down
with grim satisfaction upon the result of our
aggressions, as it is recorded in the above ex-
tract In the ''Arabian Nights enchanters
srt,
or birds, or beasts, temporarily, and they
usually are soon restored to their normal
condition. But here the whole Anglo-Ameri-
can race, which runs up now to many mil
lions, become from the second generation
like unto ''the Lenni Lenapes, the Iroquois,
and the Cherokee Indians" No wonder that
the republic is going to the dogs! Where
would we be if we did not receive a large in
fusion of European virtue and superiority in
the ship-loads of English, German, and Irish
emigrants?
The statement in regard to American COM
plexions is quite alarming. Perhaps the men
may reconcile themselves to the fearful doom
of having their skin forever tinctured with
the ''color of mud by the hope that means
may vet be found in the lager-beer shops and
the whisky-mills for restoring warmth of
color and ruddiness of Cheeks; but what will
our women think of the allegation that their
countenances are uniformly characterized by
an'sinsipid paleness p Must we send to Paris
for whole ship-loads of French rouge?
And then our heads, too, decrease in size,
and become round or pointed! While We are
felicitating ourselves upon the size as well as
the quality of the American brain, the scien-
tiic gentleman of Philadelphia rudely dispels
this pleasing illusion. Since the date of his
epistle, too. a confirmation of his theory is
afforded by the fact that burglar confined
in the New York Tombs forced not only his
head but his whole body through wonder
fully small aperture; and when he writes again
to Paris we hope he will give his views al
length on the question whether Americans
are purposely cultivating extra small heads OF
account of the facilities they give for ESCAPING
from prisons.
To complete the modification of American
ladies', they are invariably doomed, in this ag
of blondes to possess hair ''of a dark color,
and instead of bewitching their lovers will
deep blue eyes, they are forced to be conten
with dark orbs possessing wild and pierc I'M
expression. 1t is possible that at the wors
the hair might be dyed, but no means hav'
vet been devised for eradicating the fierc,
Indian glare which darts from every American
countenance, and if any timid young ParisiaI
beaux come to this country, let them lool
well to their nerves
The indictment does not rest wholly on tn
evidence which was treacherously furnished
from our own city. 1t has been discoveret
in Paris that ''the French glovers all max
gloves for the American market with mucl
longer fingers than those intended for Euro
pean consumption" This argument is pei
fectly unanswerable, unless we fall back upo
the theory that our fingers have been length
ened by the prevailing tendency to clutc
other peoples money, instead of an irresist
BILE law that is revenging the aborigines /
imposing upon their successors all their phi.
sical characteristics.
We are also told that ''the language
Americans tends more and more in its sta
dard phrases to become like the red mems
Here is another strong link in the chain
evidence closing round us. We cannot de-
that some Of our leading politicians love
''talk Indian" and such Indian phrases
show" ''big drink, ''whisky," ''scalI
''tomahawk, ''papoose, and ''squaw," ha
been introduced into our vocabulary to fe
full extent
The uneasy, feverish, and incessa
activity which inspires the Yankee, and esl
cially the propensity for whiting, are s
down 90 cIaar ax,id an Gas that we are becOmi