The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-08-14
YARlEIIES.

THE benent Of second marriage. The
first wife being a loss, you recover by
marrying a gain.
$40 kiss a rosy checked girl, and find
Your month Oiled with Venetian red,
and she growing pale on 1t. is>ttnly
NV III. !
AN Advertisement In an Australian
paper tnYIteSa proposals for Clergy ma
for marrying two or more couples
WHAT does a husbands promise
about giving up tobacco end In2 Why,
in smoke.GEL u GEIE hJTl
liz Son r5%lfe.kills yoIiRtlhl&nehIng, J
what crime does she cause 10 be per.
petrated 2 Why, Inan's-lAughteh
IF you refuse your wife any boxes
for the opera, 10 what condition do Won
ind boxes and wife? Why'd tiers.
THE romance of love does very well
before marriage; but after II, 1t sinks
Into the real pork and cabbage OF hu.
man life.
THE lady who husbanded her re.
sources was a single woman.
SlTKA. in Alaska, .is notable IA ths
point where tbs trAHslery around the
world either gains or loses his dAy OF
tho week. A Russian reaching II on All
eastward Journey celebrates, his seventh
day SabbAththefet whlld the Alnerlcan
going westward finds business suS-
pended on bis Saturday.
AN old Scotchman of Boston. used ID
|AAy I'm open logon vlcltOn; but I'D
|Jlke assee tbeAlnAn hat Dan con Vince
me- Old Minister Wells, the prede-
ceSsor Of the Rev. DR.. Storrs, of Brain.
tree, Mass, himself n Scotchman, used
70 say IT beh0oye,h a ScoIchmAn 10
be right; for III he be wrong he wIll be
forever and eternally wrong -" ~
A SIX YEAR OLD boy was asked by
bis teacher 10 write 4 composition on
the subject OF water, aud the following
IL the productions: I.Wster is! good 10
drink, TO swim Ia. and 10 skate on
when frozan. When was little baby,
the nurse used to battle me- every
morning 10 water, II have. been told
that'the Tbtuns don't wash themselves
but once In tenyeaTss I Hish Twas an,
IDlun!'
A STEAM shovel, capable Of doing the,
wofR OF onehundred men, haA been ,put.
III use on one Of the Illinois railroads,
with the purpose OF loading cars With
gravel.
PATIRNoES-iB always crowned with.
success. This rule rs without an excep-i
tion. It may not be splendid SUGGEST.
but patience never takes anything InI
hand thatit does mot Succsed with in'
some form.
THR Cinnamon wash for fifteen oenIS,
dczsn. Chicago Is organizing laun.
-. NhEwoodent TootRpI6ks, nowcihex.
tenslve use, having superseded more,
costly articles, are all mann laclured Al,
one establishment near Boston, EN-
ploying thirty 'operati yes Or both he xes.
Ihe machinery has been patented and
10 driven by water power The woods
used are maple and willow. The nv.
grsHate dan J Aale8 d Che aRanoy 81 fiSe
MI gih New YORK d nou ntetiitb bkbrtH
Qrintgy esSes, Zach containIns Old bnT-
dted Thousand toothplcks, or four or
nVe million toolhpicks.
THB Coniy way for "a ,unan IN en-
ESs aP oeIng found out Ia to pass for W hat
ne -. The only way to maintain a
so3u character 10 TO deserve II, Il
easier 10 correct our faults than 10 con.
ceslI them.lSS HfGh ~
MR.. JOHN F. REoAN, OF Dubuque.
Iowa, blind and seventy years old, nas
otuered his! own tombst tone, is super.
intending Its manufacture, and has
written bis eplIaph-six verses In poe
Miss ANNA DICKINSON was usk al
thet qpestionTbyrA SChlnaman IN fsT
gnAyA1agnt and she answered 'Eo'Jfof
the TWO hundred aud first time,
MRS. GRANT used 10 write poetrv
over the HlR1Rturs E0I GEnastasIai and
Is u good dook d wen d poeie6s'