Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1869-09-10

Tho man who was lost in slumber is
said to have found his way out on a night
mare.
1t is an admitted fact that one swallow
doexnot make i summer, but any cat can
make a spring.
A traveller trying to be funny said,
"This steamboat smoke is an in-iunnel nu-
sance'
babies are the coupons attached to the
bonds of matrmony. The interest is due
at random.
picked thirty-seven bushels Of blackbcr-
ries in five weeks time, for which she re-
coived slls.
Among the matrimonial engagements
recently announced is that Of Gen. Phil.
Sheridan to Miss Bessie Cheever OF Bos-
ton.
There is said to be a man in Lancaster,
Pa, named Joseph Herr, who has not had
half an hours continuous sleep for nearly
four years. An excellent man for night
editor.
George, do you know that Mr.. Jones
has found a beautiful baby on the doorstep,
and is going to adopt him ?" Yes, papa,
he will be Mr.. Jones's Step-Son, won't he?'
Josh Billings says: The jealous man is
always hunting for something he don't eX-
pect to find, and after he has found it, he is
mad because he has. lie is always happy
just in proportion as he is miserable.
1t being hinleI to II barrister who was
wearying the court with a dull long argu-
ment that he ought TO bring it to close,
he angrily replied, II will speak rs long as
please r. "You have spoken longer than
you please, already" replied his antago-
mist.
New York has one hundred Germans
engaged in the wild beast business, one
firm having an annual trade Of s40,0 600. An
elephant brings $500, giraffe $1,000, hip
popotamus $4,000, lion or y tiger $1,000, II
gun $500, and an ostrich 1900.
A man digging a well in Ohio was
overcome by the gas and dropped insensi-
BILE. A brave Welsh woman saw what had
occurred, and taking handkerchief satu-
rated with camphor, went into the well and
spread il over the mans face, fastened q
rope round his body, and then returning Ia
the surface pulled him out and nursed
him till he recovered. She did all the work
unaided and alone.
An old lady was asked what she thought
of her noighbors of the name of Jones, and
with knowing wink replied: "Why, l
don't like to say anything about my neigh
boIs; but as to Mr.. Jones, sometimes l
think, and then again don't know; after
all, l rather guess he'll turn out TO be
good deal such fellow AS l took him for"
1t having been ascertained that William,
Tell is myth, somebody has now found
manuscript which will lead people to doubt
the truth of that story of Newton aud the
apple, Let US he thankful that we can still
cling to Washington and his Ratchet,
A Sunday school teacher was giving
lesson on Ruth. She wanted TO bring out
the kindness of Boaz in commanding the
reapers to drop larger handouts of wheat.
"Now, children" she said, "Boaz did an
other very nice thing for Ruth; can you
tell me what 1t was ?" "Marred her" said
one of the boys.
A remarkable discovery has just been
made by man at Grenoble. by which il :
calculated that cemeteries and graveyards
will become superiuous, At the decPnss
Of an individual the body is plunged into
liquid invented by man of Grenoble,
and in about five years the individual Is
turned into stone. The secret Of the petri-
faction is known only to the discoyeror.
But he goes further. He says that in q
thousand years time, If persons will only