The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1869-08-19

The Indian maids do not like the new
Quaker agents. They are too stiff.
-Garibaldi's physicians say that he will
never again be able to leave his bed.
The bachelor has to look ont for num-
Der one, the married man for number two.
1t is as great mercy to he preserved
in health as to be delivered from sickness.
"A Joyous smile adds an hour to ones
life. a heartfelt laugh a day, grin not a
moment.
Beauty is imperishabre, although it
withers it with bloom afresh in the halls Of
memory.
1t is useless to look for money in an
empty pocket, even with the best bank note
director.
Can any civil engineer tell how it is
their head.
"A young woman has inst carried off
the prize as the best rifle shot at Lucerne,
Switzerland.
BE always at leisure to do good; never
make business an excuse to decline offices
Of humanity.
The best clerk at Washington is said
to be deaf mute He could be improved
upon by eunuch.
w hen we know that a man has deceiv-
ed US, We appear more ridiculous to our
selves than to him.
Never wait for thing to t-rn up. &c
and turn it up yourself 1t takes less time,
and is sure to be done.
A wag objects to Indian suffrage on
the ground that red men are addicted to
tlmpering with the polls.
The boy who vas caught looking into
the future has been arrested for trying to
see the show without pay.
"A Chicago Tribune correspondent de,
scrlbes his descent to the devils CRATE"
He's undoubtedly well posted.
-'Nevada has performing woman who
supports an anvil on her brea t." says an
exchange. Can't she wean it?
Minister Washburne is learning the
European ropes. He should look out, PEG
pie have died from too much rope
The men who fatter women do not
know them sufficiently; the men who
abuse them do not know them at all.
n debating society had under consider
alton the question, rs it wrong to cheat a
lawyer?" The decision arrived at was,
mo, but impossible.
-"Prisoner, you have heard the com
plant for habitual drukenness; what have
you to say in your defense p Nurhing,
please your homer but habitual thirst
"A Philadelphia lady took to church a
music box instead of a prayer book Then
all was quiet the brevet prayer book struck
BILE sinners
"A Missouri lady hung herself becau,
her husband went TO Calioi MIA There are
good mnny willing to do that same thing
because their husbands won't go to Cali
fornla-Or somewhere.
Any person hankering after foreign
appointment can hear something to his adj
vantage by addressing q. s. Grant, inclos
ing stamp, and Lorse that can go in 2::20
First come, first served.
One who has ciphered it out says that
two cents placed at compound interest
would accumulate sufficient to pay our ma
tianal debt in four hundred and fifty years.
Why don't soIue one fund" the two
cents2
At Waterbury, Conn, lawyer recent
ly returned to the station agent one dollar,
which was given him by mistake Other
members of the ar talk of impeaciing
him. He was living at last advlceo.
Radical papers excuse Grant trips in
government vessels and his general bum
ming procilvitles on tie vground that he
needs relaxation. He can stand more re
iaxatlves than any man We know.
An English paper contains this adver>
tlsement If Samuel Blbo will call Or
write to Samuel Stern, Paradise street.
Liverpool, he will hear OF something to
his advantage. His oife Is no mere.
A San Francisco paper, to illustrate
the antiquity OF walking sticks, says that
Adum had Cam. 1t is reported in these
parts that it was Eve, although Adam may
have been interested in an indirect way.
"A fashionable authority says there has
been less dress than usual at the watering
places this season.
There never has been much dress, at
such places, except trails.
The Madison Journal notes the return
OF the sheriff from Quincy, ILL.,, with Ger.
hard Boden, the man who murdered his
wife in Cross Plains in May last. He is
slxty-6ve years of age. His wife was
eighty.