The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-12-24
Hiring a Brakesman,

road, stout.looking innocent, abou
six feet In his stockings, with thew,
and thighs to match, stood in the depot
at Worcester, with evident admiration
OF the "bran new" cars and snortins
locomotive which had arrived at tn,
station. A roguish citizen who stood
near him, watched his undisguised won
der attentively, and drawing near, en-.
tered into conversation with him.
He was "down from Vermont after
work and wanted to get a chance or
one of these here railroads."
$50 !" said the other. "Why don't
you go and see the Superintendent"
Wal, 1 would If 1 know'd where
to find him.
"Oh then come along with me-Pm
going right to his ofiice.'
Accordingly off went the twain, right
to the store where that demurest of all
hoaxers, ,Jem b. stood like patriarchal
spider, waiting for any unsophisticated
human fly that might founder into hi.
| nest.
"Ah" said the wag who acted as pilot
there he is Here's a young man, Mr.
b., who wants berth on the railroad
as brakeman"
Jem was posted Immediately.
swell, l don't know. We've had a
good many applications for the post, and
in fact l had engaged man to 60 out
on the train, but he is not up to his en-
gagement, and l will talk to you.-
Have you ever been accustomed to rail-
roading ?"
"W-a-l, no, l amt but l guess |
could learn it mighty soon. What's the
wages ?"
"Thirty-six dollars month and
clothes"
"W-a !, mister, I'm ready, eff you say
so, to take right hold"
"Very well, then; I'll send you out
on this train; but 1 wish to put you up
ON your guard with reference to one
matter, and that is, there is set of
troublesome fellows continually hang
Ing around the train pretending to be-
long to the road. Some of them may
interfere with you. If they do, put
them off the cars at once-tell them |
put you on the train and take no orders
or impudcnce from any one of them.
AS to your duties, when you hear one
whistle, screw on your brakes; if two
alarms are sounded, screw them down
hard and then, when three are given,
loosen the brakes for the train to 20 on.
I'll go with you and put you on the
train. You return here to night and
then l will see about your boarding
place"
Accordingly down they went to the
station, and there the pretended Super
intended showed his employee the
brakes and the mode ofusing them, ,leav
ing him with q fresh injunction tc
"knock down any one who attempted to
interfere with him."
Before many minutes the Verlnonter
had customer. The whistle sounded
and on went the brake.
"What are sou doing with that
brake ?" shouted legitimate brakeman.
Jump off fyou don't want your head
broke"
Jonathan looked at the rude interro-
gator Ia small NAM with contempt, but
disdaiHed reply.
"S-h'reel!s h-reel wh.oo," went the
whistle, and the new brakeman screw
ed away for dear life, until snap went
the chain.
This was a cup too much, and off
went the infuriated little brakeman for
assistance.
"What are you doing there ?" asked
the conductor, who returned with the
man; and stepping upon the car, he
placed his hand upon Jonathan with a
view to summary cjectment. A brief
struggle ensued, at the termination of
which the conductor lay sprawling
upon his back, with the small brake
mans head jammed between his legs.
Come ON ye darned heathens /! A"
shouted Jonathan, now fairly roused-
come on! I'll learn ye to cut updidoes
around me. Pm hired, be. M.-
hired me for the business, and eff l don't
learn ye ter tend to yer own, it'll be COZ
yer stronger'n be %
A fresh struggle ensued between our
hero and some half dozen others EN-.
ployed on the train, who had gathered
around, and Jonathan was overpower.
ed,Ehen an explanation took place, and
the theSuperintendent's"store" was sought
for, but could not be found, as the in
corrigible wag had not been so incau-
tious as to make the engagement in his
own store and although he was strong
ly suspected as being the author of the
POO practical joke, no proof could be
had, for by shrewd management of
the muscles Of his face, and cool sssur-
ance aided by Il different dress, he sue
ceeded in arguing Jonathan out of his
suspicion, the latter having charged
him with the hoax. The best part of
the joke was the denouement. The
actual Superintendent hearing of the
indomitable pluck displayed by the
Vermonter, sent for him, and did real
ly engage him, and it is said that he
now satisfactorily fills an important
post upon one OF the great Western
roads.
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