The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-04-29
WILKINS ON THE PIANO.

worst. l believe you'd raise riot
in the cemetery if you were dead, you
would. Don't You ever go prowlins
around any Quaker meeting, or you'll
break it up. Why Why, you'd put
any other mans back Up until he broke
his spine. O, you're too annoying TO
live; don't want to bother with you
Give me more covers, and go to sleep"
"But, wilkins, dear, just listen min
ute. we must have that piano, and
"Oh, don't, dear me, won't have it.
You're the only dear thing around here;
you're dear at any price. l tell you once
for all that don't get any new piano, and
Mary Jane don't take singing lessons as
long as I'm her father. There, If you
don't understand that, I'll say it over,
again And now stop your clatter, and
go TO sleep. I'm tired of bearing you
cackle''
''Now don't aggravate me. 1 say
Mary Jane shan't learn to sing, and plant
another instrument of torture in the house,
while I'm boss of the family Her voice
is just like yours its got tvang TO it
like blowing on the edge of piece of
paper
"Ain't you ashamed, wiki"
"It's disgrace enough 20 have you sit
ting down and pretending to sing, and
trying to deafen people, without having
the children do it. The first time heard
you sing, l started round 20 the station
house and got six policemen, because 1
thought there was a murder in the house,
aud they were cutting you up by inches
! wish somebody would | wouldn't 90
for any policemen-not much. -
81 declare, you are perfect brute"
''Not much | wouldn't; but Smith he
told me yesterday that his family were
kept awake half of the night by the noise
you made, and said if didn't stop those
/ dogs from bowling in my cellar, he'd be
obliged to complain to the Board of
Health
"What an awful story, Mr.. Wiki
''Then l told him it was you, and you
thought you could sing and he advised
me friend to get divorce, because
he had said NJ man could live happily
! with any woman who had voice like q
! cross cut saw. He said l might as well
/ have machine shop with lot of files at
/ work in the house as that, and he'd raih-
er at any time"
"phughI L don't care what Smith
says"
''And you are talking about new pi-
ano! Why, haven't we got musical IN
! struments enough in the house There's
/ Hol lferncs Montgomery blowing away
in the garret for ten days with that old key
hugle, until he's got so black in the face
I that he won't get his color back for q
month, and then he only gets a spnrt out
! of her every now and then. He's blown
enough wind in her TO get up hurricane,
and | expect nothing else but he'll GET the
! old machine so check full that she'll blow
back at him some day, and bust his
brains out, and all along Of your tomfool-
! cry. You're a pretty mother, you are
You'd better go and join some asylum for
feeble-minded idiots, you had -
wilkins, [ declare you are too bad,
/ fOr-''
''1es, and there's Bucephalus Alexan4
der; he's got his head full of your senti>
mental nonsense, and he thinks he's in
love with girl around the corner, and he
meanders about and tries to sigh, and
wont eat his victuals, and he's got to 60
| ing down into the celler, and trying to
sing NO one to love on the coal-bn,
and he liked TO scare the hired girl out of
her senses, SO that she went up stairs and
had fit on the kitchen door mat, and
came near dying on my hands"
'SThats not true, Mr.. VIII"
/ nj i l.
head under the hydrsnt. And then what
does Bucephalus Alexander do but &c
go round night before last ard try to sere-
made the girl until the oli man histed up
the sash and cracked away at Bucephalus
Alexander with an old boot, and hit him
in the face and backened his eye, because
he thought it was two cats a yelping.
Hang such a mother as you are? You 60
right TO work to ruin your own offspring. -
you're talking nonsense, Wilk p
"You're about as fit to bring up chill
dren as tadpole is to run ferry boat,
you are but, while I'm alive, Mary Jane
takes no singing lessons. Dc you under.
stand It's bad enough to have her bat.
tering at the piano like she had some
grudge against it, and to have her visitors
wriggle around, fidget and look miserable
as if they had the cranp colo, while yor
make her play for them, and have then
getting up and lie, and ask what it was
and how beautiful it is, and steep their
souls in falsehood and hypocrisy, all OF
account of you. You'll have enough tc
answer for, old woman, without that"
81 never did such thing, and you
"Yes, and then you think Mary Jane
can play, don't you! You think she car
sit down and tackle that piano, and jers
1 out more music than a whole orchestra
don't you? But she can't. You nigh
just as well set crow-bar TO opening az
oyster, as to set her to playing the piano
''You talk like fool, Wilkins .
l. aaIoInr She rnIou Pahn.r, MI,.