The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1869-01-19
Tho Live Yankee.

H''Iiie was Nehemlali NeWbegln, and IN
was about TO make now beninnin,
IN buying clothes as well as in keeping
house. Having selected coat vest, ant
pants, that seemed to be about right as tc
price, he tried the slorceman in the way
OF barter, in this style:
Dew you ever take proincc for you
clothing? 2
Take what 2
Proluce-gardcn sass and sich: don't
do it, dew you J.
'.Wcll, occasionally we do. What have
you to sell ?
On, most anything; little of every
thing, from marrowfat peas to rye straw.
got the allkillincst dried punkins you ever
sot your eye on-'xpect meow, you'd like
some Of that dried punkin. squire 2
The proprietor declined negotiating for
the dried punkin but inquired if he had
any gpod butter.
'G-o-)-d huttcr! now, squire, ex-
pect Eve got some ofthc incest and ycllcrs
esl you ever sot your eyes on. Got some
coot here now got some IN Il shoogar
box cout in dads wagon. Brought it
down for Kernel Waldron, but ycon can
have it. I'll bring it right slralc in here.
darncd i'll don't!
On the strength Of the butter, dicker
was speedily contracted, for which Nehe-
miah was put IN immediate and absolute
possession Of Il coat, vest, and pants. Bat
would they fit ? Nehemiah was willing 10
trust the coat and vest indeed he coul
put them on and of in a minute, and they
were neat as wax. Where could he try
the pants en-, Not rightthcrc in the store.
with the s'rect door open, and women
folks coming and going all the WHILE
Now it happened that the new clothing
store had ccrncr curtained off for H.,
purpose, and Nehemiah was speedily
closed therein
The pants had straps, md the ,traI
were butt,ned, Nehemiah had seen strap
before, but the art Of managing them wa
a mystery. On consideration he decided
hat The boots must 20 on first. lie then
mounted q chair, elevated his pants at q
proper angle, and enleaycrod 10 coax his
legs INTO them. He had a time if it. Ills
boot- were none Of the smallest. and the
pants were noLc of the widest; the chair
too, was rickcty, and bothered him; but
bonding his energy TO the task, he sues
cccded in inducing one leg into the 'pesky
things. lie was straddlcd like the Colos-
sus OF Rhodes, and just in the act of rails,
inc the other foot, when whispering and
aiggiing in his immediate vicinity madr
him alive TO the appalling fact that moth.
ING hut chntz curtain separated him
from twenty or thirty of the prettcst an
wickcdcst girls lhli were ever Gagged in on,
shop.
Nehemiah was a bashlul youth, ami
would have made a circumbendibuS of "a
mile any day rather than meet those girl,.
even if h. had been in fill dress; rs {,
was, his mouth was much nj NJ at thc bar,
possibility Of making his appearanc,
among them in hi' present lishabilIr.
What il thcrc WAS a hole m the curtain
What if he should Gll2 It wouldut
bear thinking of; AMI plungina the font
into the vacant leg with "a sort of frantic
looscness, he brought on the very catas.
trophc he was 20 anxious to avoid. IL
chair collapsed with a sudden scrouch.
pitching Nehemiah heels over head
through the curtain, and he made a grand
entrance among the stitching diyinilie-.
on all iours like laitcned rhnoccros.
Perhaps Collier himself never exhibit
more striking MIiuU }u,ut than was
now Displayed Nehemiah was a mod /
every inch Of him, and though not exactly
revolving on a pedestal, he was goirg
through that movement quite as well on
his back-kicking and plungng in short.
/ pcrSonilying in thirty seconds NIL the aili-
tudcs ever chseled. A. for the girls. th Y
screamed, of course, jumping upon chairs
and cutting boards, threw their hand-
over their faces, pccped through thcn
iinacrs - perfectly natural - screamed
again, and declared they should die
they knew they should
- Lord = blubbcred the distress ca
young man; don't, gals, don't! dilu'r
/ 20 lCN, l swan 10 uldll L uluu I'll 81
owing to the c cusscd trowsors-cycry
mite ont. Ask your boss; he'll tell You
how it was. Oh, dear won't nobody
kivcr me up with old clothes, or turn the
wool-box over mo! Oh, Moses in M,
bullrushcs what will Nancy say 2
lie managed to raise himself on his feet.
and made a bold plunge toward the door
but the cntanglinS alliances tripped him N
again, and he fell kerslap upon the gor+,
of the pressman. This was the unkinlcs
rut ofall The goose had been heated cX,
prcs,ly for pressing thick cloth seams, uut
the way it sized in the seat Of the NJ =
pants was nil"ting 10 the wearer. Nehe-
miah riz in an Instant, and seizing the
sourca Of all his troubles by the slack, he
tore himself from all save the straps md
some fragments that hung about his ankl 9,
MS he dashed through the Emporium nt
a > 30 rate and made tracks for hum.
"A correspondent Of The Cdaa'a f;p-
m1' gives the weight Of seven Grcystonc
turnips raised in Gladstone, Ontario =
The seven weighed los l2 pounds, aver
aging nearly lG pounds. The heaviest
| ,po ,roiuhc1 20 nnun1s tb0 Erlfpaf l.