Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-01-22
NUMBER /.
FACT, FUN And FANCT.

pressure of the hand. or brothers no.
BILE act of forbearance, and with thoughts
directed in kind tones to the source OF all
good-to God himself.
Keep out Of bad company. for the
chance Is that when the devil fires into
the flock he viii hit somebody.
Josh Billings says he never will pat
lonize q lottery rs long as he can hire
ANYBODY else 10 rob him at reasonable
wages.
The father Of an interesting family
residing near Detroit, not long since
stopped the only newspaper which he
had ever allowed himself or family, and
solely on the ground that he could not af-
ford the expense This man chews up
fourteen dollars and sixty cents worth Of
tobacco every year.
Them soldiers must be an awful
dishonest SET said m old lady, "for not
night seems to pass that some sentry Is
not relieved of his watch"
Morality without religion Is only a
Kind of dead rcckoning-an endeayor 10
find our place on cloudy sea by meas
uring the distance We have run, without
any observation Of the heavenly bodies.
-Of all the silly and "sappy' phrases
Of hashy and inflated journalism, that OF
notices 10 correspondents (Which are en-
,irely written in the oficc) is the weak
est. Josh Billings replies to cor
respondent n follows Your idea that
frogs grow moro bobtailed rs they grow
older is too cussed good 10 be lost
There Is a class OF ''Perfectionists'
in Oneida County. n T., who believe
that physical maladies can be cured by
the simple exercise of the patients will.
One Of them says Il have known nausea
and bowel difficulties to be- restrained by
the will and have recently put an end
to some symptoms Of catarrh by reso-
lutely refusing to indulge them
A correspondent Of the Prairie Far
mcr says that the friction OF the stocking
ON the foot, and not on the boot. makes
the holes. and advises washing the feet
q, least twice week. and scrNping OF
the rough sc,Irfy skin from the heel and
Al L.. iaf har
take the stocking and line il on the in
side Of the heel. or on whatever part the
trouble occurs. with cotton cloth. and she
will find at least three-fourths of her
dhning saved.
A correspondent of the Western Ru-
raj gives the following remedy for cold
or cough Fold piece OF cloth three
or four thickne~scs, Wet il thoroughly
with warm water, and wiring Il 50 that Il
will not drip. Pin il tightly around the
chest. 20 % bed. cover up warm, and lie
| Till morning. Then on removing the
cloth, wash over with water 4 little cold
er than the blood, wipe dry, then put on
your ordinary clothing and 60 about
Your ordinary work"
Scribe, the French poet, hired a
house in the country to pass the summer.
/ As soon ~ he va, fairly installed IN II,
he went in search of farmer who had
mich coN Having found one, he stated
his want Ny good man, my servant
will come every morning to buy pint OF
milk. Very well it is eight sous. But
want pure milk. r,ry pure In that
case. il /, ten sous. You will milk in the
presence of my servant oh, then It
will be fifteen sous
Freddy. A iair-haired youngster OF
four summers, the other day, after being
for some time lost in thought, broke out
thus: Pa, can God do anything "fes,
dear" Can h. make two-years old colt
in two minutes Why, he would not
wish to do that Freddy" But if he did
wish To. could hea" Yes, certainly, ii he
wished TO- What ia two minutes
Yes. in two minutes" We'll, then, the
colt wouldn't be two years old, would he.
A man about town was lately in
yitcd to a sewing g-party The next day
friend asked him how the entertainment
came oil. On il was very amusing" he
replied; "the ladies hemmed and l
hawed.'
The papers say that Paris actress
fell near the footlights, but escaped injury
from the circumstance that she had
nothing on which could take fire.
FAM y Fern-and she ought TO know
says that II is just as natural for young
girl to desire bonncts, sashes, gloves, and
a lover. as il Is for an old person to like
an easy chair and big pair OF shoes.
As canal-bost was passing under
bridge, the captain gave the usual warn
ing, Look out" when a little French
man, popping his head out of the window,
received a severe thump. He dew it
back in a great pet, and exclaimed, Desc
Americans are queer people; dey say,
Look out" when dey mean, Look in"
When intoxicated, Frcnchman
wants to dance, a German 10 sing,
Spaniard to gamble, an Englishman to
eat. an Italian To boast, Russian 10 be
affectionate, an Irishman to fight, and an
American to make speech.
DIR. Won one occasion received