Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-04-22
5}1isteltaueuns &eading,
A PRECOcIOUs CHAP.

2S$AH St%HRtkNy<
A PREcocIOUs CHAP. .:
BYP. o. o.MUDKLURK.
John Smith-you We heard of him-is very
bashful- is too bashful, in truth. He wasborn and
raised in the country. His father gave him a good
education and allows him plenty Of money. But
John, with all his other attainments, never could
accustom himself to the society Of females; not
because he didn't Ike the girls, but because hi,
shy nature would not permit him to associate with
the fair sex. It once happened, not verylons ago.
either, that Johns father had some very important
business to transact in the city. He also had some
very particular affairs to attend to at home, which
demanded his personal attention, and, not posses
sing the power of ubiquity, be delegated his son
John to transact that in the city.
John, being thus commissioned, Immediately
proceeded to the city and to the residence Of bis
fathers old friend, whom be found to be very
nice old gentleman, with beautiful daughter, and
gold spectacles. ....
John was ushered into the parlor, "a new thing
to him, and motioned to a seat-no! sofa, ian.
other new thing.)
But we must use his own language: II took my
seat and made observations. Everything wasine
Fine carpets, fine sofas, fine tables, fine curtains,
fine books, fine pianos, fine everything, and espe-
cially fine young lady, who was dressed in fine
silk, fine satin, fine curls, and fne appearance
generally. .. ...
After chatting with the old gentleman few
minutes, he took down his hat, told me to make
myself at home for an hour or two, and left-left
me alone with bis daughter and q small mischiev-
Gus boy, the young lady 8 brother. Ididn't relish
the situation at all. The idea Of my keeping a
city belle engaged in conversation for two hours
perditionl Silence reignedin that parlor for some
time, you bet. amused myself as much as pos
sible with the boy-that is, I loaned him my knife
and watch key, and watched him cut holes in the
carpet with one and spoil the other. don't know
what would have done had it not been for that
boy-he was so good to attract ones attention, you
know.
1t is true that he asked some very startling ques-
tions occasionally, such as this, for instance: "Are
you going to court sister Emily p but such things
must. be expected under such circumstances.
Miss Emily, thinking, no doubt, that to be a
good hostess, she must keep her guest engaged in
conversation, asked me chow liked country Life, -
etcetera She said that lit must be beautiful
sight to see the hborers, both male and female,
romping on the new-mown hay, on New Years
day that she always did think that she would
like to spend Christmas in the country nut
gathering with the village lads and lasses that it
always had been mystery to her how they got the
eggs off the trees without breaking them," etc.
In return, 1 thought that to keep up my part Of
the conversation it was necessary for me to quote
poetry and the like, which I did. Among other
quotations, unfortunately repeated the well known
lines of Shakespeare,
eThere a divinity that shapes our ends,
Rougthew them as we WILL"
At this juncture, the boy, who had perched
himself upon my knees, looked very earnestly into
my face, and said: divinity shaped your nose
mighty Gurus" I'm certain that I blushed little;
am very certain that I wished somebody would
spank one of his -- we'll, we talked Of hills,
mountains, wales, cataracts-I believe said water
falls, when the boy spoke up and said why,
sisters got trunk full Of them upstairs-pap says
they are made out'en horse hair
This revelation struck terror into me, and blush
es in the cheek of my fair companion.
1t began to be very apparent to me that 1 must
be very guarded in what said, lest said boy might
slip in his remarks at uncaled for places in fact
I turned all my conversation to him. told him
he ought to go home with me, and see what nice
chickens we had in the country. Unluckily I men
toned yoke of calves that my little brothers
owned. The word calves ruined all The little
fellow looked up and said Sisters got dozen
of 'em, but she don't wear EN- only when she
goes up in town O windy days"
"Leavetheroom, you unmaunered little wretch!
exclaimed Miss Emily, leave Immediately"
II know what You want me to leave for" re-
piled he; lyon can't fool me-you want to set in
that mans lap and kiss him, like you did Bill
Simmons the other day-you can't fool me, l jes
tell you Gimme some candy, like he did, then
I'll 20. You think that because you got the Gre
clan bend that you're smart! Guess I know a
thing or two! I'm mad at you, any how, cause
pap would bought me new top yistiday, if it
hadn't been for you gettin them curls you We got
on, doggone you'll You needn't turn 80 red in the
face, cause can't see it for the paint They ain
no use in you winkng at me with that glass eye O
yourn, cause amt going OUT here now, that
what the matter with the purps don't care if
you are twenyeight years old, you amt no boss O.
mine, you ole fool.
That is oil the story that John related. He says
he don't know how be got out of the scrape.
MoRA1.-Beware of knowing children.