Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-04-09
wise and e,thcr,vi~c.

The measeIs arc about concluding a
very successful engagement in New
Orleans.
Tile Indian agents are to be fur
! nislled With a miller, q pillar, and a
distilIcr.
grhe Dueyrus Forum says: lin.
colin, was a JOKER Johnson soaIler,
ana Grant a smoker "
John Allen says he can't write
quite as we'll as Oliver Dyer, but he
can "talk him to DEATH"
- \ French writer on gastrcnomical
subjects has defined indigestion to be
the@4ngrati.urie OF the stomach. -
The Louisville journal objects to
female suffrage, because 1t would
create too much pairing of" at the
polls. 81
a New York paper announces the
return to the stage of certain lady
"in all the splendor of her original
beauty"
Sir Isaac Newton, while yet lad,
"made small cart with four wheels,
in which he could drive himself by
turning windlass."
4 lady who writesin the lndepend-
cat says that the Judges of the Su-
preme Court are chiefly remarkable
for their grave faces aud immense
stomachs. ~.
Josh Billings, in an essay "Con-
corning Courtlng," says the more
advice you undertake to follow the
less amount of good counting you
will DO.
Bonaparte is credited with having
said {: "a handsome woman pleases
the eye, but agood woman plcases
the'hrart. The ono is o jewcl-the
other treasure" p
The Buffalo man, who sent pair
Of boots to-General Grant, displays in
his shop windows q sign bearing
his name as "Boot-maker to his Ex-
cellcncy Z. s. Grant"
Anthony Trollope does all his lit
erary work between the hours Of 5
and 8. a. IL. He can write az much
in that time as q man wants to read
in the remainder Of the day.
A case of domestic scandal was
under discussion at q tea table. well,
let us think the best of her we cam"
said an elderly spinster. YES"
said enother, land say the worst"
The'New York Sun is trying to
work up a sensation by demanding
the resignation of Borie, on the
ground of physical incompetency
andhis subscription to Grants Phil
adelphia house.
HAS your husband got natural
tied ?" inquired an energetic politi-
clan of q robust female. "Got natu-
raj eyes" was the response, in an in
'dignant tone, Eyes, be CORY, and
natural teeth, too.n
The white of an egg given in sweet
ened water, is q sure cure for the
Group. according to the testimony Of
q distinguished French physician.
The remedy must be repeated until q
cure is effected.
At parties, now a-tlaya. the host 10
longer supplies the gcntlemen's
dressing room with cigars, as, in too
many instances, the gentleman have
been known TO take a weeks supply
home in their pockcts.-Neso Forh.
Express.
!. 4 Georgia editor, indignant at the
passage of the fifteenth amendment,
can only express himself in the fol-
lowing !anguage-"Lct Congress Gil
its slop- tub with denominations, the
Georgia Legislature can guz2le them
without blinking"
4 Washington letter tells Of two
insane women who are among the
innunerable throngo Of ofIice-seekers,
one of whom has recommendations
for the position of Queen of the
White House, and IL willing "to
marry Grant in a minute"
An Irishman was employed to trim
some fruit trees. He went in the
morning, and on returning at noon
was asked if he had completed his
work. NO." was the reply, "but I
have cut them all down, and am 60
ing TO trim them in the afternoon"
Some mice got into d drawer in
Mobile containing matches and pistol
cartridges. The mice ignited the
the matches fired the car
tridges, aud the official report mem
tions the killing and woGnding Of
several of the gnawers.
Ralph Waldo Emerson was recent
~ pointed out on the cars to young
woman from the country. On her
arrival home the latter mentioned
the incident, ana added: ooh, re-
member how / used to study his
when went TO school"
Such is fame. ....
Preserved Fish is the name Of
business partner cfI
Moses II. Grinnell, The new Collector
Of New York. He was once called
to the Presidency Of the Adams Ex-
press Company, but declined, fearing
he would be nicknamed C.. o. D. |
Fish.-DetroU Tribune.
Boys and girls, what is it you can
never catch, though you chase after
it as on the wings OF the wind? You
can never catch the word that has |
once gone out Of your lips. Once
spoken, it is out of your reach; do
your best, You can never recall it. |
take care what you say. |
Never speak an unkind word, or |
profane word.
A one-legged organ grinder ran
away with a school girl belonging in |
Patterson, n. J., and got married |