The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-09-07
JolrRNALISM IN TENNESSEE.
NY MARK TWAIN.

s1ching sv bis period he knew he was concocting
sentence that was saturated WlV iiia'n1 anu
with falsehood. ."-Ecchdhge
was told by the physician that Southern
climate would improve my health, and so
went down to Tennessee and got berth on
the Morning GJOry and Johnson County war
onbo0D as associate editor. When went on
duty I found the chief editor sitting tllteu
"''x in q three-legged chair with his feet on
pine table. There was another pine taple
IN the room, and another afflicted chair and
both were half buried under newspapers end
scraps and shee's Of manuscript There Vas a
wooden box of sand, sprinkled with cigar
stubs and "old soldiers, and a stove with
door hanging by its upper hinge. Tne chief
editor had long tailed black cloth frock
coat on, and white linen pants. His
boots were small and neatly blacked. He
wore a rufled shirt large seal ring, a
standing collar of obsolete pattern and
checkered neckerchief with the ends hanging
down. Date of costume, about 1913. He
was smoking a cigar and trying to think of a
word. And in trying to think of word, aud
in paving his hair for it, he had rumpled his
locks good deal He was scowling fearfully,
and Judged that he was concocting a par
ticularly knotty editorial He told me to
take the exchanges and skim through them
and write up the "Spirit of the Tennessee
Press" condensing into the article all of
their contents that seemed of interest.
/ wrote as follows:-
'sPIRIT OF THE TENNESSEE PRESS.
'gThe editors of the Semi Weekly Earthguake evil
dently labor under misapprehenson with regard
10 the Bayhack railroad. 1t is not the object of the
company to leave Buzzardville of to one side. On
the contrary they consider it one of the most i'm
portant points along the line and consequently can
have no desire to Slight it. The gentlemen of the
Earthquake will of course take pleasure in making
the correction.
"John W. Blossom, Esq, the able editor of the
uuiD RAM
arrived in the city yesterday. He is stopping at the
Van Buren, House.
Spring Morning Hort has fallen into the error of sup
posing that the election of Van Werter is not an
established fact, but he will have discovered his
mistake before this reminder reaches him, doubt.
He was doubtless misled by incomplete election
returns.
at is pleasant TO that the city of Baherville
is endeavOring TO contract with some New York gen.
tlemen to pave its well nigh impossible streets with
the Nicolson pavement. But it is dinicult to ac-
cOmplish a desire like this since Memphis got some
New Workers to do like service for her, and then
declined to pay for it. However, the Daily HurTdh
still urges the measure with ability, and seems con-
hdent of ultimate success.
''We are panied to learn that Colonel Bascom
chief editor of the Dying Shrek for LiOertH fell in
the street few evenings since, and broke his leg
He has lately been suffering with debility caused by
Overwork and anxiety on account of sickness in his
family, and it is supposed that he tainted from the
eXertion of walking too much in the sum-"
[ passed my manuscript over to the chief
editor for acceptance, alteration, or destruc-
tion. He glanced at it and his face clouded.
He ran his eye down the pages, and his coun-
tenance grew portentous 1t was easy to see
that something was wrong. Presently he
sprang up and said:-
Thunder and lightning Do you suppose
I am going to speak of those cattle that way?
Do you suppose my subscribers are going to
stand such Cruel as that T? Give me the pen!"
l never saw a pen scrape and scratch its
way so viciously, or plough through another
mans verbs and adjectives so relentlessly.
While he was in the midst of his work some
body shot at him through the open window
and marred the symmetry of his ear.
''Ah," said he, THAT is that scoundrel
Smith, of the Moral Volcano; he was due
yesterday" And he snatched a navy revol-
yer from his belt and fired. Smith dropped,
shot in the thigh. The shot spoiled Smiths
aim, who was just taking a second chance,
and he crippled a stranger. 1t was me.
Merely finger shot off.
Then the chief editor went on with his
erasures and interlineation Just as he
finished them a hand-grenade came down
the stove-pipe, and the explosion shivered
the stove into thousand fragments. How
ever, it did no further damage, except that
a vagrant piece knocked a couple of my
teeth out.
''That stove is utterly ruined" said the
chief editor.
/ said believed it was.
''Well no matter-don't want it this kind
of weather. know the man that did it. I'll
get him. Now here is the way this stuff ought
to be written"
took the manuscript. 1t was Scared w til
erasures and interlineations till its mother
wouldn't have known it, if it had had one
1t now read as follows
esprit OF THE TENNESSEE PRESS
''The inveterate liars Of the Semi Weekly Earth
quake are evidently endeavoring to palm OFF upon
noble and chivalrous people another of their vii
and brutal fasehoods with regard to that most glo
rous conception of the nineteenth century, the Bal
lyhack Railroad The idea that Buzzardvile was &
be left or at one side originated in their own ful
some brains-Or rather IN the settings which the
and not stop to chew it, either, if they want to say
their abandoned, reptile carcases the cowhiding the
so richly deserve.
and Battle Cry Of FL eedOnl, is down here again, bun
ming his board at the Van Buren.
"We observe thaJ the besotted blackguard Of the
Mud Springs Morning HOlgL is giving out, with hi
usual propensity for lying, that Van Werter is nc
elected. The heaven-born mission of journalism
10 disseminate truthto eradicate error-to educate
refine and elevate the tone OF public merals an
manners, and make all men more gentle, more vii
tuous, more charitable and in all ways better an
hOlieT, and happier-and yet this black-hearted vi
lain, this hell-spawned miscreant, prostitutes hi
great ohce persistenty to the dissemination
fasehood calumny, vituperaton, and degradin
Vulgarity. His paper is notorOusy unfit to take int
the peoples homes, and ought to be banshed to tn
ing pollution which does duty as its editor live
and moves, and has his being
"Blathersvlle wants a NcOlson pavement
wants jail and poor house more The idea OF
pavement in one-horse town with two gln-mn
and a blacksmith shop in 1t, and that mustart
plaster OF a newspaper, the Daily HUrrah Bette
borrow Of Memphis, where the article is cheap M
crawling insect, Buckner, who edits the Hurrah,
braying about this business with his customary lou
mouthed imbecity, and imagining that he is talkiI
sense. such foul, mephitic scum as this yermnoI