davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

Gently Breakfass 10 Cleopatra.
After having partakcn Of Clcopatrs's
necklace, Mark Antony deternined to
devise the costliest breakfast ever given.
After several days Of gastronomical med
itation, rot having found what he was
looking for, he summoned his cook 10 his
presence, and told him that if he could
get up dainty breakfast for = lady,
which should be composed Of as few and
as small dishes as possible, and II the
same time be most costly, he would re.
ward him accordingly. Several weeks
afterwards the cook entered Mark Anto.
ny's study, and told him that he wss
ready to serve the dainty breakfast asked
OF HIM, and that IT was composed Of one
olive only. At the appointed boar, the
cook entered the dining-roou, followed
by one hundred men carrying the olive
Gin its artificial envelope) on their should
ers They deposited it on table made
for the occasion, and ffty earvers were
set to work on it. After several hours
OF hard work, the triumphant cook placed
the olive before the Egyptian Queen, who
looked at him with amazcment, still with
perfect delight. Tho olive had been pre-
pared in the following way: After hav-
ing been stoned, it was stuffed with .
rich custard, then put inside Of boned
canary, which was used to stuff an orto-
han. The latter was placed inside Of .
boned oriole, which was used to stufF
thrush, which thrush stuffed boned
lark. A boned snipe was stuffed with .
lark and placed inside Of robin, which
was used to stuff q plover, and which
latter bird filed woodcock, the wood.
cock partridge, the latter q grouse, tho
grouse pheasant, the pheasant . chick
en-, the chicken guiDsa-fowl, which was
placed inside of goose the goose filed
turkey, the turkey a swaD, the latter an
ostrich, which was used to stuff sheep,
the sheep calf, the calf an antelope, the
latter pig, the pig a deer, tho deer
bear, the bear a heifer, the latter 10 elk,
the elk an or, the OK hippotsmus, the
latter an elephant. The olive was then
roasted in its envelope, which envelope
was thrown away, and the olive only was
served. Rare dish, wasn't it?
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

PRINTERs.-So many eminent men
have been practical printers that it seems
to be thought that type setting has some
very mysterious association with success.
We shall never hcav the last of Benjamin
franklin and his early struggles as a
printer; of Horace Greeley coming to
New York, thin, hagsard, frien6less
boy, with small bundle in his hand and
only ten dollars in his pocket; Of Bayard
Taylor leaving the case aud making the
tour of Europe on less than five hundred
dollars of Thurlow Weed, toiling up
from country type-setter to great po-
litical power in the nation. They accom-
plished extraordinary things, not because
they were printers, but in spite of it.
Your genuine, born, temperamental
printer, rarely quits his calling or, if
he does, returns to it or its cognate one
of Journalism as water returns to its level.
This peculiar mortal is our theme. He
deses classification, like the nondescript
animal that could not live in water and
died on land. He seldom achieves sue
cess, because he is Indifferent to it, and
because he wants to show the sham and
the folly of all exertion, all purposes, all
ambition.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

Charles Hunt, in his way, is success.
A few months since he eloped with some
ones wife from Boscobel, Wis. He
finally arrived at Dubuque, Iowa, where
he has been at work since, until tho other
day he left town with two women, one of
whom was the clipping Badger, and the
other Dubuquer. Should he continue
journeying westward, he will soon accom-
modate sufficiently large family to admit
of becoming respectable deacon among
the saints of Utah.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15
"What papers 2" I have ordered no

"What papers ?" I have ordered no
papers,"
"Just like all the Ohio people-don' t
want to acknowledge"
/, II must confess, Miss, that this whole
affair is a mystery to me; and, really, 1
would like an explanation.
well, well, that is funny, isn't it.,
girls 2"
/ Really laushablc," exclaimed all pres
ent, pressing SO close around us that we
were perfectly hampered
"Yes, it rs laughable, but the laugh is
all on your side" exclaimed.
"Ain't you, or have you not been, a
married man %
"Most undoubtedly l am a married
man, and, beside, am the father Of numer-
GUS children
"NVell, haven't you applied for and OBJ
tanned divorce 2"
Here began to feel my temper rising
again, but, being in the presence of ladies,
| suppressed my indignation and replied ::
"No! and if [ had, what has this ar
ray of good looking girls to do with the
matter?"
why, sir, as is usually the case, we
supposed that you would be an immedi-
ate candidate for matrimony, aud have
presented ourselves that you might, if
agreeable. make a selection for better or
for worse"
This was sumner, and it was with
considerable difficulty that we were
enabled to convince our mysteriouslv
(they do things mysteriously in Chicago)
made acquaintances that our domestic
relations were all that could be desired,
and that our mission to their sensational
city was Of an entirely different charac-
ter.
We were politely bowed out, leaving
an assurance that should we at any time
obtain divorce We should call again,
and hurrying to our hotel partook of
hasty breakfast, rushed out, transacted
our business, took the first train for home,
and bade Chicago idieu, impressed with
the idea that Chicago is the place to OBJ
tain speedy divorce and " bran
new" (?) wife. MIAMI.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15
A Kiss OH the Wind.

When the bright stars shine
And the rippling sea
Throws back their sily'ry light,
Then the sparkling waves
Softly tell to me
Thcir message of tho night.
None but lovers know
What the whisp rings ara.
Borne on the murm ring deep;
Nor the twinkling light
Of the far off stur,
That's read while others sleep
All. they bear to me
Fond Affections sigh,
Ueart-breathed by one afar,
And the sparkling light
Of a laughing eye
Beams from the distant star
o. bear swiftly, wind,
To my own sweetheart,
This kiss, far DER the sea
She will know it's mine
BY the magic art
That love has taught of thee.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15
VARIOUS ITEMS.

Unmarried ladies with indepesdsvt ne
sources should husband them. @a
The pleasantest husbandry Is the De-
stroying of weeds-widow's weeds. 81
What fruit does . newly-married
couple most resemble "A green pear.
A :" smile" that forctells sorrow.-The
one that you take in the bar-roon.
A gentleman Of Carlsruhe offers to trot
his American horse, the ssMilwaukee y
against any horse in Europe for 10000
forins side.
A philosopher once thanked q lady
who had been singing to party for an
hour, BY saying, Madam, you have
wasted our time charmingly."
Colorado has produced fsur cabbarss
weighing $50 pounds; twelve turnips
that fill barrel; fifty potatoes that also
make barrel; and squ..h Eve and |.
half feet in circumference.
Cicero made the following wise re-
mark As I approve Of tho youth that
has something Of the old man in him. -
am no less pleased with an old ma. vbo
has something Of the YOUTH
"You have lost soms Of your trends. I
see" said traveller to : negro whom he
had met on the road.
"Yes, massa..
''Was il . near or distant rslative f.'
"Weu purity distant nt-'boxt twenty.sour
miles," was tho reply isf
A lawyer in ! Tonbs case, while eress-
examining : burglar, asked Him IL hs
followed an honest profession.
Il guess not" said tho burglar 'ssx-
ceps the profession Of you lawyers. / dill
ours i about ths msss dishensss - -
ing"
Ths ksepar Of . ssoggszy, N Hartsasd,
killed biz bartender hseAnsa he ssese1
20 loudly,
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

During concert in the Boston Music
Hall, recently, when the organis. was ex-
hibiting the full powers of the instrument,
lady was enthusiastically converslng
with her neighbor about her household
arrangements. She suited the tones of her
voice to those of the organ. The organ
ist made sudden transition from ssff'' to
"pianissimo;" consequently the audience
was somewhat amused at being informed
by her, in shout, "We fried ours in
butterw
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

GREATEST Doc FIGHT ON RECORD.
Wizke's Spirit relates the following,
which occurred at Logansville, Pennsyl-
vania, the hero being old Jacob karstet-
ter, man Of wealth, who appears to
hive gone into the extraordinary fight
for fun: He was rather rude to a dog
owned by sporting man, who told him
he had better take care or the dog would
bite him. The dog was large bull, and
uncommonly ferocious- The gentleman
remarked, che would bet five dollars he
could get down on all fours, fight and
whip the dog in dog fashion, and not
touch the dog with his hands," The bet
was taken at once. Down went Kar-
stetter, who commenced series of growls,
and made forward motion toward the
dog. The dog, seconded and Kissed on
by its owner, at once opened the fight,
neither intimidated by unearthly growls,
shouts, snarls and exclamations of his
antagonist; but seizing him by the left
cheek, drew first blood Ia good style.
After moment Karstetter got the upper
hold and changed his base. He actually
got the dog by the ear, and shook him
SO severely that the dog cried out with
terror, and after he was sufficiently pun
ished, his tormentor let him go, and he
made off as fast as his legs would carry
him, bowling with pain.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15


A NEW INvENTIoN.-An ingenious
English mechanic has perfected an In
vention for the detection of hidden de-
fects in iron casting, wrought iron shafts,
and other heavy iron casting. The in
vention is one of the most powerful, and
at the same time useful of modern times.
A small magnetic steel bar is so supported
that, beside being able to turn in a hori-
zontal plane, it can also turn in sectional
planes. It points northward and down
ward with an inclination of seventy de-
grees. This needle traverses the shaft
or bar, denoting the flaws or bad places
by an irregularity in the top of the
needle. The invention has been tested
in every conceivable manner. In one
instance heavy shaft Of iron was drilled,
the hole was filed up with inferior iron,
then plugged up, and turned off so
smoothly that the plug could not be de-
tected. Tho compass needle indicated
the spot at which the strength Of the
shaft was not reliable.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

HONEST INDusrRY.-Here il a beau
tiful paragraph which we find in one of
our exchanges: "If there is a man who
can eat his bread in peace with God and
man, it is that man who has brought that
bread out of the earth, or won it by his
honest industry. It is cankered by no
fraud it is wet by no ters it is stained
BY no blood"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

An italian has published seven dances
as illustrative Of the seven cardinal sins.
They are called: Pride Schottische,
Avarics Mazourka, Luxury Waltz, Anger
Gallop, Gluttony ouadrille, Envy Polka,
and Lazy March.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

In London, recently, tho Rev. G. j.
LeGyf, a Ritualistic rector, issued the
following singular announcement: "The
incumbent begs to express the hope that
strangers who have breakfasted and done
the Standard or Times, will abstain from
communing at the celebration of the fes-
tiyal."
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15
The Alabama Claim.

The following is the closing paragraph
In Summers recent great speech in the
United States Senate, in regard to the
conduct of the English Government
iowa: d the United States during the late
rebellion, and the position of this Gov
crnment on the .iuLunau claims:
s'The truth must be told, not in anger,
but In sadness. England has done to
the United States an injury most difficult
to measure. Considering when it was
done, and in what completely, it is unac-
countable. AT a great epoch of history.
no less momeutous than that of the
French Revolution, or that of the Refor-
nation, when civilization was fighting
her last battle with slavery, England
gave her name, her influence, her mate.
rial resources, to the wicked cause. and
flung sword into the scale of slavery.
Here was portentious mistake Strange
that the lad of Wilberforce, after ex
pending millions for Emancipation after
procialminS everywhere the truths of
Liberty. and ascending to glorious pri-
macy in the sublime movements for the
universal abolition of Slavery, could do
this thing Like every departure from
the rule of justice and good neighbor-
hood, her conduct was pernicious in pro-
portion to the scale of operations, affect
ing individuals, corporations, commuui-
ties, and the nation itself And vet,
down to this day, there is no acknowl-
edgment of this wrong-not a single
word. Such a generous expression
would be the beginning of just settle
ment, and the best assurance of that
harmony between two great and kindred
nations which all must desire.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

A girl who was making dress put the
sleeves in wrong. She was unable to
change them, as she could not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve In
the wrong place. or the wrong sleeve in
the right place.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

PoPULATIoN.--It is calculated that
the population Of tho United States il
1870 win be more than ~, 900 900.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

Four ladies are candidates for sohxol
directors in Maiden, Mass.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

To GIRLs.-My pretty dears, you are
no more fit for matriinony than a pullet
is to look after family of fourteen
chickens. The truth is, my dear girls,
you want, generally speaking, more lib
erty and less fashionable restraint, more
kitchen and less parlor; more leg exer-
else and less sofa; more puddings and
less piano; more frankness and less mock
modesty; more breakfast and less hustle.
I like the buxom, rosy-cheeked, full
breasted, bouncing lass, who can darn
stockings, make her own frocks, mend
trousers, command a regiment of pots
and kettles, milk the COWS, feed the pigs,
chop the wood, and shoot wild duck as
we'll as the Duchess of Marlborough; and
with all her other accomplishments be q
lady in the drawing room.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

A New REMEDY.-Dr. Desmartris,
of Bordeaux, France, has introduced into
his practice an extraordinary medical
remedy for the cure of certain diseases,
which is attracting much attention It
is no other than the employment of GER
tain singing insects. His practice does
not claim to be entirely new, as it has
long been tradition in medicine that
leprosy can be cured by the poison Of
certain serpents and it is we'll known
that poisonous drugs are freely admins
tered as powerful alternatives in certain
diseases. DR.. Humboldt, nephew of the
great naturalist, in his practice at Havana,
found that the poison of the scorpion was
a remedy for yellow fever. He inoculat-
ed over 1000 men of the military and
naval garrison more than 600 were af-
terwards attacked with the fever, of
whom not more than sixteen died. DR..
D. had been long afflicted with rheuma-
tism, which was attended with great suf-
fering. One day, while picking up a
handful of weeds iu his garden, he was
stung by wasp in the wrist. The arm
swelled, but the rheumatism disappeared.
Next day he applied wasp to his leg
that was suffering, with like results
and at length he has introduced this
remedy extensively into his practice. It
now seems probable that the time may
come when the most acceptable gift of an
afflicted friend will be buzzing bee for
o diseased eye, or well developed wasp
for rheumatism. Hymenoptera will rise
in market value, and even despised wasps
will fll niche in the worlds history.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-05-15

MURDERoUS DEVOTION TO SCIENCE.
A young lady of Munich, named Erminia
Schlug, was recently detected in a sing
ular crime. For some weeks the families
inhabiting the hotel in which Miss Schlug
lived had been subject to alarming, but
exceedingly varied, attacks of illness
After long police investigation it was
discovered that the young lady had a
lover, student named Won Beck, who
was SO enthusiastically devoted to physi-
ology, toxicology, and similar branches
of study, that he spared no one as SUBJ
ject for his experiments. Much of his
time was spent in devising or investigat-
ing the most subtle poisons, and the most
difficult OF detection, and his mistress
aided him in these studies by administer
ing his drugs to her fellow tenants. The
trial revealed the fact that Won Beck and
Erminia had spared themselves as little
as other people, their bodies being mark
ed with the scars of experiments which
had involved a terrible amount of long
continued pains, while the young lady
boasted with triumph of the poisons and
antidotes which she had swallowed The
pair escaped with nominal punishment,
and received decided eulogy in the col
umns of the 1agblrH for their heroic,
though mistaken, devotion to the cause
of science.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15

SUNDAY-ScHooL The
Sunday school Board of the Baptist Gene
raj Association Of Virginia, whose, head
,qual 'ters are in this city, sre about to open
the spring Sundsy-school campaign most
fyisoro usly. Under the direction Of their
energetic general superintendent, Rev.
Charleal Fl. Ryland, the following district
Sunday. school conventions viii be held:r
In Ma. .rchester, Tuesday next the 10th
instant, ctmmencing. at 3, o'clock in the
afternoon. A grand mass meeting will be
held on Thursday night, to which all the
Baptist Sunday schools Of Richmond have
been invited. .t'lTsa q -9ts1afsa .a;,aqa #.
At Louisa Courthouse on Friday, 18th
March, at O'clock P. M. Rev. Dr.. Curry,
Professors Ha rris, Winston, and others, are
announced to speak there. - 70. 5. ,'.e1 ft1a'''
Berryville, Clarke county, on Thursday,
25th March, at 8 P. NJ. .,.o ....r
Burlington, King and Queen, Friday,
April 2, at 10 A. M. ===:------=--- =-=:=-=-----
Pittsylvanis Courthouse, Friday, April
10th, at 10 A. M q ......g .-I..s. Il, ~ ,..
Menokin, Richmond county, Saturday,
May LIST, at 10 A.. n.
Buchanan, Botetourt county, Friday,
May 28th, at 10 A. M. ..'.' '72@t a.
In oil these conventions the Sunday
schools of all the surrounding counties will
be represented. Questions Of interest to
the cause will be discussed by the ablest
Sundsy-school workers Of the State, and
measures adopted tosecure greater efficiency
in existing schools, and to establish new
schools in every neighborhood in which
they do not now exist. -
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15

A DEPUTY SERGEANT AT THE TOBACCO
ExcHANGE.-On Saturday morning there
was high bidding at the Exchange upon a
lot Of bright tobacco placed on sale by one
of our leading commission merchants. One
lot had just been !"knocked down " at $50
pcr hundred, and another was running
VOL up, much to the delight ofothe eon-
Bignee, when suddenly the bidding ceased,
and the buyers, as with one accord, disap-
peared from the scene. In moment or
two the cause Of the "skedaddle /" was ap-
parent. & deputy sergeant Of the Hus-
.tings Court had entered the room on bust
ness, and 1t had been at once whispered
through the crowd that heawas in quest Of
jurors for the criminal term which COM
mences to-day aa - > .g
The owner Of the tobacco went immedi-
ately to the officer Of the law, and urging
that his sales would be ruined if he stayed
there longer, prevailed upon him to"depart
in peace. )" Scarcely hadhis form Disappeared
upon the stairs when, like Rhoderich Dhu's
clansmen, the tobacconists sprang up from
every side, and the business OF the day, 30
singularly interrupted. was resumed. For
the rest Of the day this little incident af-
-forded- mitch merriment to its eys-xit-
negess,y n 1y.r 81 CsaS El4s1Z
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15

IMPORTANT DEcIs1oN.-In the case of
James P. Hodges Us. D. c. Mayo & Co., in
which Hodges obtsined an injunction to pro-
hibit Mayo s. Co. from using his name on the
brand Of the celebrated "Virginia Choice :"
smoking tobacco, although the name was
incorporated in the brand which was copy
righted, and which brand had been as
signed TO the said Mayo s. Co. by Hodges,
Judge Meredith, of the circuit court of this
city, decided that by the assignment the
brand passed to Mayo s. Co.. that the name
was o part of the brand, and that Mayo &
Co. had the right to use it; and therefore
dissolved the Injunction. George D. Wise
and A. Noise for the plaintiff; Bradley L.
Johnston and George L. Christian for the
Defendants s
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15
LOCAL MATTERS.

sENTENcEp TO DEATH.-In the county
court Of Henrico on Saturday, Pleasant
Richardson "a negro), convicted Of bur-
glary and murderous assault at mignight
upon Mr.. and Mrs.aSchurman, was sen
fenced to be hung on Friday, the 7th of
May, between the: hourszof 10 A. NJ. and
P. M. 1t will be remembered that this was
an assault of q peculiarly aggravated cha
racter upon an aged couple residing in the
eastern suburbs Of Richmond. Justice
Atlee, in pronouncing the sentence, gave
the crowd of negroes in attendance some
very appropriate and, under the circum-
stances, impressive words Of advice and
warning against life Of crime. .a
Frank Taylor and his son Charles Tay-
lor, two other parties indicted for partici-
patton in the Schurman outrage, will be
placed On trial to-day. .#@h.I
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15

SNATCH THIEF ARRESTED. ON Saturday
morning an old negro man, while passing
through the Capitol Square, pulled out a
roll Of greenbacks and started to count
them. Jim Johnson, a notorious snatch
thief, who happened to be near by at the
time, grabbed the money from his hand,
and ran off with it. He was followed by
the old man, and Detective Parker soon
joined him in the chase. The detective,
after vigorous run, overlook him in
Butchertown bottom, and succeeded, after
hard struggle, in capturing him and con-
veying him to the station-house. He is now
awaiting indictment before the Hastings
Court,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-15

SALES OF REAL EsTATE.-Messrs. Lyme
& Brother, auctioneers, have sold within
the past week the following property Brick
dwelling on the east side Of Twenty fifth,
between Broad and Marshall streets, lot
s3 by ITO feet, for 1900; vacant lot ad-
joining same, 80 by ITO feet, for sl2.75 per
foot, S4Os. Lot on the west side of:tWenty-
fourth, between Main and Cary streets, A
by 66 feet, at $40 per foot, S4o0. Also,
vacant lot on Decatur street in Manchester,
Sc by I2o feet, at 81, s266-total, 1924.