The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-12-03
REMARKS.

JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
REMARKS.
When man hain't got emmy thing to
say, then il a good time tew keep still
thare IL but few people who hav mist q
good opportunity TO ventillate their opin-
ions.
just about as cercmonys creeps into one
end oy church, piety creeps ont Of the
other.
Thozc who have the fewest failins see
the fcwest in others.
Pride il az universal as hair on the
head-sum are proud ov their virtews,
sum oy their vices, and sum having nsi.
ther themselves, brag on other peoples.
Love looks thru telescope; envy,
thru o microscope.
An industrious man is seldom bad
man.
Men will believe their pashuns quick.
or than they will their consciences, and
yet their pashuns arc generally wrong
and their conscicnces aiwus right.
Ii amt much trouble to bear the pain
Nv somebody's elses lame back, but to
have the lame back oneself amt so stylish.
Despising fortune is not sure way to
gain her fayors-pipe to her and she may
dance to you.
Take awl the interest out ov this world
and there wouldn't be friendship enough
left for seed.
Sekrets are burden, and that is one
reason why We are so anxious to hav
sumbody help us carry them.
/ hev seen men SO full ov vanity
that tha Good not endure the sight of
peacock with his tale on parade.
The most excruciating bore | know Is
excessive politcness.
If | was called upon tew describe Flo.
quence, should do II as would suit
of clothes-''oy suitable texture and .
perfect fit"
Gravity il no more an evidence of wis.,
dom than it il ov i'll natur.
The greater the man the less hiz yir-
tues appear and the greater his faults.
Don't mistake vivacity for wit; thare
liz Just az much difference az thare is be-
tween lightning and lightning bug.
No man ever undertook 70 alter his
natur by substituting sum iDvenshun ov
his own but what he made botch job
Nv il.
ReIigun in these days iz composed ov
vanity and piety. and each man and wo-
man il better judge ov the proportion
than | am.
Lovers feed upon mysteries but after
they are married and the pork and beans
arc brought on, they have chance TO
test the real qualities of their appetights.
An insult tcw one man IL an insult tew
all, for it may be our turn next.
don't know or emmy thing that would
use the whole of us up more thoroughly
than to have our wishes gratifcd.
Thare il 2 kind of obstinacy-obsti-
macy in the right and obstinacy in the
wrong; one il the strength of grate
mind AMI the other IL the strength ov .
little one.
Lazyness il like molassis, sweet and
sticky.
l think bear in hiz claws il prefera-
bic to one with gloves on.
| kant tell now which | admire least,
an old coquette or young prude.
| Misanthropy don't pay-thare amt no
man livin whooze hate the world cares 9
cuss for.
Rash men kan be correckted, but it
don't pay to labor with phool.
The man who haz never enjoyed the
plczure of bein forgiven has mist one ov
the greatest luxuries or life.
have seen coquetry that had no more
malice in it than awe lamb ffisking ON
the green.
When | cum across man who utters
his opinions with immense deliberation,
and after they are uttered don't amount
to cnnything, | write him down, ''myster-
Gus phool."
The CRATE ov the world now dazc is
"What's trumps."
Love il weakness, but it IL the same
kind of weakness that repentance IL
both oy them are creditable to our ma.
lures
A man IL hizown best friend and worst
enemy.
Jealousy IL one of loves parasites.
We can endure vices in the young that
we would despise in the old. (Pleaz
make a note of this, old phellows
Friendship is like earthenware-if il
il broken it kan be mended. but love is
like mirror-once broken, that ends it
l don't know of ennything on the face
of this earth more remorseless than I
per cent. interest
Thare IL great deal Of difference be-
tween enduring misfortunes because We
. expect to aud enduring them because we
arc obliged tew one is patience, the
other il mere sullenness.
When l see an old man marry young
wife, I consider him starting out on q
bust, for am reminded ov the parable
in the Bbel about new wine and old bot.
tles.-Ne,o York. Weekly.
i A western politician, in speaking of