The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1869-07-29
Married by Telegraph.

Married by Telegraph.
"Mr. Lcary, arc you a married
mani"
"Vory, SIR"
every, why do you say very?'
Because my dear little wife and
l arc bound together by wircsl"
"Latimcr Leary, you talk cnig-
mas"
"Then, sir, to be as plain as a
primer, l will inform you that /
was married by telegraph"
"You don't say?"
ayes do"
"Thcn tell the company all about
it,"
"I will, with pleasure. Ladies
and gentlemen, my wife is SOC.
ond cousin, and also Leary. She
once resided in tho city of Indian-
apolis, whileI was a resident Of
Centerville, in the samo State.
was o bachelor of thirty, but
full Of romance and general love.
1 say general love because [ had
not made any contract.
"Why don't you take q wife?'
was etcrnally buzzed in my ears
Whom will l take?" said l. To
this query a score of friends would
say: Your relative Kate Leary.'
Kate Lsaryl Why she is my
cousin!"
"Only q second cousin" they
would rctort, "and your opposite
Lalimcr. Kate is u blonde, and
you as dark as Erebus or tho acc
OF clubs"
1 had mover seen Kate, but this
continual association of the young
lady with my welded life had an
influence.
Ono day q member of Congress
exclaimed, "Mr. Lcary, were
single | should assuredly pay
court to your magnificent cousin
AS | am married, and you are my
very best friend, 1 earnest
ly hope you will possess that lux
ury."
At this period l was a merchant
Having discharged a thicving
clerk, I was SO confined to my
store that a journey TO Indianapo'
lis was out Of the question. | was
growing almost wild to SEQ one
whom all praised and SO many
wished mo to wed.
In a few days of the call of my
legislative friend, his brother,
noted Judge, appeared at my store
Tho Judge was also my devoted al
ly- q position intensified by hi'
recollection of being educated by
my deceased father.
Drawing a deguerreotype from
his pocket, he said: 81 wish tt
show you something nice. There
what say you to that?' I tol(
him that it was absolutely cnchant
ing. Who is III" l cried, will
enthusiasm.
"This, my friend, is Miss Kat
Leary, tho lady wish you to mar
ry."
Tell me-" I exclaimed. "is sh
is she all they claim for hcr?"
"My dear friend, honestly, as
valuo truth, l have not heard he
sufficiently praised"
Why don't some one try hi
luck?"
81 am glad you ask. Simpl.
because she is ovcrcured, and con
stantly extremely hard to please
She is romantic, and I clearly Sc
not winable by ordinary methods.
"You say she very particular?
"She is, sir"
"Then good bye for mo-"
"Not at all; she is rapturous owe
your likeness, and sends her cous
inly love with an invitation TO visi
her. Ipledge you | omitted not
single good IN your body, calibr
or character"
"Do you consider her de
guerrootype accurate?'
81 can tell you it don't flattc
her. She has extraordinary beau
ty, and the kind that is mor
striking in animation and convcr
,, sation."
Whilo mutual friends IN Centol
vile wero lauding my fair cousin
mutual friends in 1ndianapol
were decided in their culogics c
me and preparing her mind tc
an alliance.
l am not very selt.conceitcd. b
! Loving such concord must be Dor
!. of an obvious fact, settled on IL
idea of marrying this wonder i
4 beauty, soul and accomplishment
Ny intention was quickly cor
= frmcd upon hearing that u YER
/, influential banker from Gotl
am was in the melting mood.
remembered it was midnight.
hinted tho last batch of lounge
, away, and selected tho be
stationery in my establishment
l was to writo my first letter
Kate.
From all that had passed, o fir
style was easy. l always flatter(
I, myself on my syntaX, and will u
egotistically affirm that my mi
sivo was at once tender. aud
It cious, dignifod, wild and intons
) 1t struck her like an electric shoe
The< banker was laughed out
competition, and your humble sc
want lett master of tho situation.
Such a reply as | received
Well you must see it-you sha
see it. have good gas WORK