The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-10-17

IIousehold words-Papa, mamma.
A thorough washerwoman-Sal Soda.
rood name for Scotch policeman--Mac-
nab.
A stump orator--a dentist who talks about
himself. -
1rnon what object in nature has every author
written Upon the earth:
polroad men out West areL1ooking with
ostnnjshment at trunk marked llworth,
Kansas"
The bat sense, particularly for people who
hoven,t a remarkable stock of mental fund is
reticence.[
Those who know the world will not be bash
I'll and those who know themselves will never
be mpudent'
WHY is n stove an agreeable affair in summer
as well as in winter because III Is Always
grateful when coaled.
A little boy, disputing with his sister, eX-
claimed, It's true, for ma says SO; and II ma
saws so it is so, if it ain't SC"
A Chicago girl says that she don't get mar
ried for the reason that she don't know whose
husband she might be marrying
Melancholy falls upon contented life IKE
1ron of ink on white paper-whlch IS NOT the
less a stain because it carries no meaning.
sawdust pills would etfectually cure many of
the diseases with which mainland is aIl1lcteu'
if every individual would do his own saving
a. oiesoryipe, correspondent thinks it would
be n rood idea to have eclipses more frequently
it causes SO many eyes to turn ,heav
A lazy fellow once declared that he could not
find bread for his family. - Nor j., Tepiiea III
industrious mechanic; l am ophgeu 10 WIN
for it,"
When Haddocls wife kicked him out of bed
he said. Look here now, if you do that AGAIN
it will be likely to cause u coldness III 'hiS
family"
WHY is n candle-maker the worst and most
l,orelSss of men? Because all his works are
wicked and all his wicked works are brought
to light. ;.
One rood turn deserves another. The ladies
sbould hear this in mind when gentlemen turn
into the muddy street that they may enjoy the
crossing.
"Anvting pite you dare ~ inquired n Dutch
man of his neighbor, while angling NO, no
thing at all - "Vell,' he returned, " noting
pite me too"
Pinch saws: "The row with America is over
The row With that country, with which we
have ut times been threatened, We nope VIII
never begin"
There is so much adulteration IN whnC we
eat and drink, That most articles OF consnmp,
tion have~to be taken upon trust, and treated
as ARTICLES of Faith
A white garment appears worse with siisht
soiling than do colored garments much solieu' )
so a little fault in good man ATTRACTS hofe
attention than grave offences in bad men,
good old Quaker lady, after listening to
the extravaganza yarn of shopkeeper as long
as her patience would allow, said to MN,
Friend, what pity it is n sin to lie, wheh IL
seems so necessary to thy happiness"
A shoemaker with one eye complained that
one of his lamps did not burn. One OF MS
shopmates who is q genuine son OF the Emeraia
Isle with establishment exclaimed, alth,
and what do you want of t,ro lamps, when you
haven't but one eye 7?
leader of music, in church where con-
gregatonal singing was practiced' selected a
tune with wrong metre, to be sung 20 tn9
words "JVith hyssop purge my soul, o Lord
He tried it twice, when an old LADY crle" OUT
" Mister, you'd better try some other yaro'
"Johu," said an affectionate mother to her
| atudious son. if YOU don't stop reading so
N tIin~ aTont work" "Mother," replied the
hopeful leisurely removing very long clgar,
hnd turning another leaf " have got SO now
A drunken man the other day fell down
Rtairs, and was reported killed. A crowd col
Mected, and found him sitting ut the 1901 Oh thc
Maircasc One of them 'qucued, Are You
Aurt, Steve p To which he replied an : /
Wouldn't have those stairs fall on me again loi
good DEAL
1 The rastor of n popular church preached the
Funeral sermon of child. An unusually large
audience was present, and the preacher began
NV saving, My friends, l am pleased TO sec So
many of You ont on this OCCASION N"tcHl4
The blundcr he had made, he added, " Fc"S''"J
| pleased, mean"
III A yOung3wife demonstrated with her nus
|Eband n tlissfpated spendthrift, ON his conatct
EHMy iovc." said he, II am like the Proulga
So1i-I shall reform by and by" And 1 WI
he like tho Prodigal Son, too, she repiicd; loi
u VIII arse and 80 W NY Iattlot. 49,
|ingly Off she Went
of kings and eonan =
Frederic the Great had most phIosophlG IN
difference to Clcnth-iH others. In one of has BAT
ties battalion of veterans tokyo their heels
he gaIlopcd after them, bawling out, !" My d'
you run away, you old blackguaFdsF DO yo'
want to live forever y t,I..'
The Boston TrarcRc, says, "Not long stree
Boston minister accepted n call to another CITY
and another Boston minister was invited U
Tfhe same ffcTd. " mic ne WIS hrs1tUt ting WIZ
ther to accept it, his professional brother wrou
10 him. .IJo accept the call; between us w
will make New York howl ~
IA A sunday=school teacher was giving lessor
on Ruth She wanted to bring out the KIND
ness of Boaz in commanding tbs reapers T.
drop larger handfuls of whear: Now, chi
dren" she said, "BOaz did another very me
thing for Ruth; can yOu-teI me~what it was
SESIaTried her." said one of the boys
Not many ycaEs,~siffee a certain n F samSa
fhe deacon supplying the pulpit, well know
for his eccentric turn Of mind prayed IN TN
his dotage, nor a young man in his gosiinhooe
but n man with all the modern improvements
=