Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1869-10-02
Josh Billings on the Hornet.

The hornet, is an nhamlbel bugger,
sudden in h'z Impteshuns and hasy IN
hlz conclusion, or end.
Hiz nsHal dlsposIshen IL a warm cross
between red pepper in the pod and iusl
oil, and hiz moral bias IL. 'sit out OF my
way
They have long. black body, divided
in the middle by waist spot, but their
phisiksl importance lays at the terminus
Of their subburb, in the shai OF JavelIn
This jaVelin IL slwuz loaded, and stands
reddy 10 unload at a minAlEs warning.
and enters a man as s.ill 9z thought, az
spry az litening, and az full o' melaukol-
ly az the ,oolhske.
Hornets never srgy 4 case; ihoy settle
awl oy their differences ov oplnyun by
letting their Jlvelin Hy, aud sre 81 certain
10 hit az . mule IL.
This ios,y critier lives in congregations
numbering abouI one hundred souls. but
whether they arc male or female, or con-
servative. or matched in boude ov we'd
lock, or whether they are Mormons, and
a good msny ov 'hem King together and
keep one husband to save expense i don't
kno nor Ion't hare.
| never hav examined their habits
much, never konsid, red II healthy.
Hornets build their nest wherever they
take a noshun 10. and seldum are disturb
cd. for what would II profit man ,ew
kill 90 hornets and hav The one hundredth
one hit him with his Javolln.
They bid their nests ov paper. with.
out any windows to them or back doors.
They hav bot one place ov oJmlssIon, aud
the nests is the shape ov an oVergrown
pineapple. and IL cut uP into just az many
bedrooms as their IL hornets.
II IL very simple TO mako hornets
nest # yu kan, but will wager cny man
400 dollars he kant bid one that ho could
sell TO hornet Ter half price.
suppose this uneasy world would
grind around on its axel.ttoe onsI in 2i
hours, even ef there want cny hornets but
hornets must be good for something, but
kant think now what II IL.
Thare haini been bug made yet IN
IL even lots oy human men lo9IIng around
blacksmith shops, and cider mills, oil over
the county, that don't seem 10 be neces'
saTy for anything but TO beg plug tobacco
and swear, and steal water melons, but yu
let tho cholera break out once, aud then
VI will see the wisdom oV having Jlst
such men laying sround they help to
count.
The hornet il an unshoshall ku", bo
il more naughty thaa he is proud, he IL
a thorough bred bug. but his breeding
and refinement las made him Ike sumo
other folk kno ov, dissatisfied with HIM
self and everybody else, too much good
breeding ackts this way sometimes.
Hornets are long lived kant state JET
how long their lives are, but | kno from
lnsllnkt and observation that any kriIler.
bo he bug or be he devil, who IL mad awI
tie time and sIings every good chance ho
kan git. generally ouIlIves all his nsbcrs.
The only good way tew git 3, the ex.
act fIeiDg weight ovt he hornet IL tew
tutch him. let him hit, you once with his
javelin. and you will be willing to testify
in court that sumbody run a ono-tlncd
piichfork into yer; and az for grit. ] will
state Tor The iulotmashun ov those who
haven, had n chance tew lay 10 their ve'-
min wisdom az freely az ! hav, that oro
single hornet, who feels well, will brake
up large camp-meeting.