The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-12-28
PHxLADHLPHIAIsnEs.

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 20, 1921
OFFICR "EvEEING TFIR0RAPHn Z

a.,
OFFICE "EvEENG TELEGRAPH"
III were asked to express, in as few words as pos
sible, my opinion OF the City OF Brotherly Love,
morally and architecturaly considered should say,
Philadelphia, you're brick!" Human beings
generally may be manufactured of common and
unmanipuated clay. With the Phiadelphian the clay
is always burnt He walks on bricks, he lives in
bricks he gazes upon bricks-he is a brickl
These thoughts were suggested to me on my first
view OF Philadelphia after an absence OF twenty
years in the suburb Of New York arrived here at
O'Clock on dismal Sunday morning, having been
detained several hours on the road by interesting
smash In the Trenton depot The train which left
New York at O'Clock on Saturday evening was fol-
lowed at full tilt by the one which left at twenty
minutes after o. The first train arriving at Trenton,
halted while to '1iquor up" Train number two ap-
parently disapproved OF this proceeding and came
laundering in and improvised collision before half
the sleepy passengers well knew what hao
taken place. l must do the engineers the
justice to say that the thing extremely well
done. There was no hit-or-miss about It. The
rearmost car is the fashion with the Great Loco
motive COntortion Act, escaped without much
damage. 1t was the antepenultimate car that suf-
fered most Half Of 1t was Knocked into splinters
and the roof was jammed forward over that OF the
car in advance. One old man had his eye cut; one
mild-ooking young man, with broadbrim hat on
sustained a similar injury in his hand one of the
stokers had his ankle severely sprained My inju
ries are serious, and 1 intend to sue the COM
pany for assault and battery with intent to kill. My
hat Zone that greatly prize from the fact of its hav
ing been in the family for several generatlons) sus
tanned q compound fracture OF the skull; and my
umbrella (Which never trust out of my possession
on account OF its being borrowed one) had severa
ribs-I mean whalebones-broken, and was severely
injured by the escape OF water from the ce-cOoler
Owing to there never having been any Sater in tn
spout when put it up there, it had not got quite
used to the article
Passing over the bricks-and in a pedestrian sense
have passed over many OF them since have been
here-I might remark that the first thing noticed
in this strange city the mpossbility of meeting
.Quaker. 1t may be unnecessary to inform my
readers that in New York Philadelphia is always
spoken of with profound respecD as the Quaker
City, and that that sobrquet is considered synony-
nous there with everything that is loud fast, pro-
gressve, and enterprsing expected to see all the
houses painted grey, and all the drinking utensils
with broad brims to them. l expected to
see every other woman with coal-scuttle
bonnet on; but the nearest approach to this coal
scuttle arrangement is the ash-barrels that adorn
the sidewalks, and which are a very touching and
beautiful arrangement At the theatre was conf
dent the principal danSeuse would twirl her thumbs
instead Of her legs, and have secretly maintained
that the strongest invective to be heard from the
mouth OF any bootblack at the corner Of Sixth and
Chestnut streets Thee Little You, thee :" in place
of the visual maledctions which garnsh the con-
versation OF the ganlins OF Gotham.
During the thirty hours in which have remained
in Philadelphia have met one Friend and he was
extremely us-friendy in appearance that had any
one told me he was the Mayors Pet, or fugitive
from Wall street, New York, should equally have
believed him.
There are various points OF contrast between
Philadelphia and New York. One of them is that you
have no Big Fence, and are not going to have any
new Post ONCE. hear nothing about bridge to
Camden, an Underground Railway, a Pneumatic
Tunnel, and an Elevated Railroad. In Philadelphia
/ neither hear OF nor see these things In New York
hear OF them all the time, but don't see them.
Neither does anybody else. Then again you have
no SOrosis-whch rhymes with No-Go-Sis-the very
thing it has proved to be. think the Philadelphia
Press Cuba noble contrast to the Bohemian tag
rag arrangement in New York-ought to be counter
balanced by feminine fraternity, sororal sodality
OF that kind, to 1t from literary opsdedness.
II there is one thing in Philadelphia admire more
than anything else and is 1t necessary for me to say
this is the with almost every object brought to
my notlce?) it is the mules Market street. For
the first time in my life however, felt the absence
OF q sympathy which could not find, and have
already teegraphed to Mr.. Bergh to come on here
at once. On more than one occasion he has been
seen weeping on Broadway, and, when questioned,
all that could be got out OF him was the solitary
word, alexander" AS Mr.. Bergh was well-gloved
at the time, the suspicion that he might possibly
be alluding to the kid st-coverers known as Aexan-
ders at fell to the ground. (N B.-A horse fell
to the ground simultaneously Upon further inves-
tigation it found that he referred to the hsto-
rcal Alexander, who had handled the gloves so well
that at early age he wept for more worlds to con-
quer, and that he was likenng himself to that
lachrymose hero. beg to inform Mr.. Bergh that
have found another world for him. 1t exists on
Market street, and is populated by mules, who
writhe under the batOnS Of relentless Balaams.
ALI BABA.