The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-10-24
war; AND WISDOM.

The best throw upon the dice is to throw
them away. .,' p. ----'
1t is fitting that limbs of the law be clothed
in breeches of promise.
When n person declares his "brain is on
fren is it etiquette to blow it out 49,
According to the Cincinnati Commercial,
Hcheap brilliants" are "dime 'uns."
Why is the root of the tongue like o detected
mani Because it's down in the mouth.
Nothing is better for the dyspepsia than a
cord of wood-not to be taken, but sawed.
An iI-bred man is said to be like lightning,
because he does not know how to conduct him
self. -
To cure corns Hold your feet near tho fire
until the corns pop. This is said to be a sure
cure. -.-.
An Illinois girl, who lately lost her speech
(save whispering) has had forty offers OF mar
riage. -
Prentice says man was the chief considera-
ton at the creation. Woman wars only "side
ISSUE"
owbat little child !" said a friend, "Ahw
replied Hook, "his parents never made much
of HIM"
scDon,t care much bout the bugs" said Mr..
Svink, "but' the truth lis haven't got the
blood to spare"
young butcher allures customers tic to D. his his
shop by announcing on a glaring sign that he
''slaughters hogs like his father" -.s
1t is currently reported and generally be
lieyed of the female sex, that they DO not scru-
pie to "hooll" each others trocks.
Tom Hood said that he could write as well
as Shakespeare if he had mind to; but the
fact was, he had not got the mind.
In Chicago when the girls are pG9PPeGd ar 0
YOU inst now, and for how many days I"
Good sleep is said to be obtained by INNER
sion in bran, Il much better sleep, undoubtedly,
than comes of being soaked in " Old hye.N
The proprietor of bone mill advertises that
persons sending their own bones to be ground
will be attended to "with punctuality and dis
patch" -
A lady gave this reason for not knowing the
color of her minister's eyes, ''when he prays he
shuts his own eyes, and when he pfeaches nc
shuts mine"
Mark Twain, at the Parker House, Boston,
rang for "a copy of the laws of Massachusetts"
to see if there anything to prevent INN
drinking ice water.
having repeatedly announced that he was
"selling Off" has now placardcd his house with
bills that he is selling on"
Willie p, Il little five year old, was playing
with honey bee, when the angry bee stung
him. go, grandma cried Willie, didn't
know bees had splinters in their feet"
"what are you thinking of, my dear" asked
a fond husband. 81 was wondering which OF
your friends could marry in case should be-
y come a widow" she replied mechanically.
"The blessed man that preached for us last
Sunday" said Mrs. Darlington, " served the
Lord for thirty years-hrst as circus rider,
~A- 49,
hauster."
"Waiter," said an irritable customer in a
restaurant, edo you call that a veal cntlet
Why, it's an insult to every true calf in the
country ~ 80 didn't mean to Insult you SIT
said the waiter.
Shave you been much Mt sea ]" g Why, no,
not exactly; but my brother married an ad d.
mEals daughteT" Were you o eTer aD madan
name was French"
A lady teacher was endeavoring to impress
upon her pupils the terrible effect OF the pun,
lishment of Nebuchadnezzar, saying, "Seven
hyears he ate grass like cow" when boy
Easked, Die he give milk !"
"Pap. l planted some potatoes in our gar
den," said smart youth to !, his father anc
what do you think came up rho WY cs po1 "a,
D drove of hogs and ate them up"
A dairyman awakened by wag in the
Might with the announcement that his best
LOW was choking He forthwith jumped up tt
Ave the life of Crummie, when, 10! he found {
arnip stuck in the mouth of the pump.
Not long since premium was offered by al
4 AGRICULTURAL society for the best mode of irri
Stion and the latter word by mistake o.
Re printer, having been changed to "irrta
on,n farmer sent his wife to get the prize.
stI wish,' said the slight and elegant Mrs
itzbob to her friend Mrs Twigg, whose en-
t4npoiRt was strikingly handsome, 81 wish
{-se..tt.-ef-@et44 -EoII-&nIne- of
= In" ''rlt tell you what is the origin of tina
Ssh" replied the fair wit; you think to-
inch of me and too little of yourself"
A certain judge of AvignOn, famous for hi
sse of good living, said to a friend one day
I'VE have just been dining off superb turkey
a was excellent. Stuffed with trniites TO thu
Ssry throat-tender delicate, filed with per
FINE! We left nothing but the bones y " Hoy
bany were there of you" asked the friend
Two," replied the judge, /" Two" echoed til
bher in aStonshment. Yes, two" repeate
BE Judge, - the turkey and myself"
During the long French war, two old ladies j
S6tland were going to the kirk the one sal
tdhe other, WAS it not wonderful that. tn
British were aye victorious over the French i
battle - Not a bit said the other old lady
s'thna We ken the British aye say their pray
er. before going into bnttlep The other re
plid, " But Gamma the French saydheir- pray eT
asrcll" The reply was most characteristic
4 loot, jabbering bodies! VIVA could under
stad them n
Iyoung lawyer was examining bankruI
rs o how he had spent his money. Their
wee about two thousand dollars unaee3pnte
Eorwhen the attorney totrH severe scrutlf
iziy face, and exclaimed; with much selt-con
plaency, "Now, sir, want you to tell thi
eout and jury howYo used thosetwo thousan
1,1nt n m