The Van Buren press., 1869-09-07
From The 50 Louis Democrat.
GOING TO HEAVEN FROM CHICAGO.
Tho First Man at st. Peters Gate from
that Plaoe-Another Never Expected

Not many years ago, the story runs, a
st. Louis Merchant went to New YORK,
purchased large bill of goods and start
ed on his return home via Chicago, reach
ing which place he concluded to tarry
day or two aud view the scenes and
sights of a city 80 famous on paper
Stopping at first class house he regis
tered his name as PLAIN John Smith, and
was given a room in the attic. AT this
he did not grumble, because, like true
philosopher, with a knowledge Of hygie-
mic principles, he conceived that he would
have the advantage Of the fresh air from
the pure lake breeze. For day John
Smith wandered around the town and
took in everything worth seeing without
being taken in himself, although sharp
ers surrounded him at every turn and So
licited investments in water loss, water
tunnels, grain elevators and bridges at
distant points, which, it was asserted,
could not help, in q remarkably brlef
space, paying several hundred per cent.
on the original investment Returning
to his hotel at night, tired and sickcned,
he partook Of his frugal meal and laid
himself down upon his straw bed to
.lccy. In the morning he did net re-
spond to the reveillo call to breakfast,
and scryan. was ordered to "git that
feller in the upper story up to his hash. >
But the "fcller' could not be awakened !;
he was, to all appearances, sleeping hl'
last sleep, and the servant so reported
The land bnd his wife repaired to the
dead mans room, not all pleased with
the idea of his having died on their
hands. Their first procedure was TO be
sure that he chad gone dead sure ms
point having become satisfactory to
them, they proceeded to examing the Ell
fects Of the deceased His status was
shortly fixed "John Smith, merchant
of wealth and standing in the thriving
city of St Louis, bought and paid for a
large bill of goods in Now York. Money
and good endorsements upon his per
son" This fact sscertsined, master and
mistree Of the house took local view OF
the situation; they had been entertaining
an angela man Of means aud standing
in disguise. Forthwith they removed
the corps Of Mr.. John Smith into the
best room in the house, and dressed it up
in shroud Of line linen previous to no
tifying the authorities and the coroner oil
the mysterious death of a distinguished
guest. Landlord and landlady sat in tue
room after all preparation had been made
for his reception, awaiting the arrival oil
the proper inqusitorial officer, and dis.
cussing how much wheat would fall into
their hopper in consequence OF tho sud
den demise, consoling themselves will
what thcy considered trusm-" it's nj
i'll wind which blows nobody any good.
All at once John Smith opened his two
eyes, with speculation in them, and look
ed about him The watchers were struck
with dismay-the mistress OF the house
screamed
whats the mattcr? said John.
You're dead man. simultaneously
shouted the landlord and his wife.
Il reckon not rctorted Smith. al.
though Eve had a pretty long sleep Oh
cursed mean bed
When John Smith had convinced the
two that he was still alive, they wondered
much thereat and seemed not little dis
appointed they looked upon it as pc
cnniary loss. There would be no in
onc.t, no funeral no prolonged visit OF
the mayor and city authorities, which
must Of necessity bring grist to thci'
Whisky mill and attract public atten'
ton 10 their house.
you must have been in q trance, sug
eestea the landlord.
'Just as like rs not returned John.
; How did you feel 2 asked the former
IN tell you all about it., said Smith
now JOHN SMITH FELT AND WHAT lie Ex
rERIENcED.
Il had long walk said John, 'oveI
hill and dale, and yet was not weary
the Journey seemed pleasant. At lergtl
! | came to n beautiful river, on tho oppo
site side Of which l saw green trees anc
beautiful flowers. a nice epatfarchal oil
man, with benign countenacc, rewcd hi
over. and when | reached the shore h,
pilo,ed me in sight of the walls of grea
city, in which were brilliant lights, de
lghtrul music and great joyousncss.-
Pointing to gate, my aged friend will
; a benign countenanca said, this is tn
; place ! and left me-. Going 10 the gat
saw venerable man with a long flow
, ing white beard, sitting there smoking
nice pipe and slipping mug OF bliss.
Can 60 in !" l asked.
.The nice old man looked on me fror
head to foot Apparently satisfied wit
the inspection, he asked me in return f;
What is your name 2
. John Smith, | answered.
.. John Smith Pears 70 mo Eve heart
, that name before he said.
Il wouldn't be surprised, said l ant
what is your name 2 l asked.
st Peter he replies, and keep th
keys OF this place.
Where ,rc you from, John ? st. Re
ter continued.
From Chicago here answered.
: Chicago Chicago! Chicago tn
old man muttcringly calculated; 'an'
whore is thatT
ITS in the United, States, on LAX
Michigan, replied.
st. Peter then took down q map. ant
hunting for a long time he pointed to
little dirty spot covered with mud an'
mire, and said:
sAh, yes, here it is But. John. yo'
are the first person that ever came from
that place and I'm afraid you'll be tn
. -, ..,. n,,t.. koo,usa I inn't no