Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1869-02-02
MISCELLANEOUS.
a Spat and a Quarrel.
Nine Years Of War Bet,ceen Husband and
Wife.

A most curious and strange illustration of
inherent love of war in the human bosom is
given in the history Of a man and wife, now
living in Maury county, Tenn, within six
miles of Columbia. An old couple, who were
once happy and enjoyed life, as much, perhaps
as it is possible for married couple to enjoy
it, lived in the locality above indicated. They
own small property but have no children,
they eat their meals together daily except
when the old man is out hunting, at which
time the lady of the house enjoys her grub in
silence. Every evening in the year except
one they occupy opposite sides fthe fire place,
one whiting tobacco smoke up the chimney
and the other chewing snuff and growing to
herself Not word passes. About ten o'clock
they simultaneously rise and go to bed in
silence.
The exceptional day to this beautiful har-
monious life, is the 25th of December, "Christ-
mas" day, when there occurs a regular old
fashioned fight between the silent twain
This is an annual battle, and like other fights
is contest for the supremacy Of an idea. 1t
was inaugurated in this wise:
Nearly ten years ago on Christmas day in
the morning, the old man went out hunting
for something fat for dinner After an abb
sence of about five hours, he returned with
an animal of some sort, and singing it on the
floor, he triumphantly exclaimed;
''There, there, Betty, is a grounding for
dinner" Betty turned the affair over with
the toe of her brogan, gazed intently for two
minutes and then, deliberately said:
"Faugh it's skunk"
The husband didn't like this expression of
opinion on the part of his beloved, but being
a mild man, and anxious to retain the long
standing good feeling between them he con-
tented himself with gentle reiteration of
his first remark. The lady became firm also
and even INDUCED in a sort of subdued sneer
at the ignorance of her husband. He waxed
cross.
81 tell you, Bet, it is grounding, and
don't want to be contradicted."
But the lady contradicted. "I tell you it
is" and 81 tell you it ain't," followed each
other with increasing rapidity and virulence,
until the storm assumed the shape of blows.
The man pinched, and the woman scratched,
until both became exhausted and had to quit
from sheer WEAKNESS.
Next day when coolness and reflection su-
perscded heat and passion, both silently re-
GREETED the unfortunate difference of opinion,
which left the head of the house with half
his beard and very little hair and the lady
two eyes of unusual darkness but they spoke
not. Now both were too proud and guilty
for that. They remained silent until whole
year had rolled round and Christmas day
again came on, while enjoying cup of thick
black coffee and a greasy corn dodger the wife
mildly ventured remark to the effect that
they had been very foolish year ago to fall
out and pound each other about so miserable
thing skunk.
eyes" said the repentant husband, 'it was
darned wicked of us, and we ought'nt ha' it
done, but you forget, Bet, that was ground
hog and not skunk"
Bet did not forget she had no reason to
remember, although the black eyes were all
gone then, but knew it was skunk. The
husband thought it shame for her to hold
the same opinion still, particularly when she
knew it to be ground>hog She knew it
was a skunk-he knew it was a hog. She
knew different. The virulence again crept
in, words waxed hot and blows followed
The scene of the former Christmas Day was
re-eDacted to nicely, and both went to bed
exhausted, with blacker eyes in her head and
less hair on his. They were repentant and
silent next day, and spent the year without
speaking; but when the anniversary arrived
the same scene was gone through with reli-
gious precision, and has been gone through
with every Christmas since. The people for
miles around have become aware of these an
nuai idiosyncracies in the lonely and peculiar
pair, and look forward with much interest to
the developments of the coming Christmas
1t may be proper to remark, for the sake of
perspicuity, that the lady's eyes, from being
originally light gray have become coaly
black from the periodical dying which her
considerate husband gives them; and his hair
has entirely disappeared, owing to the yearly
operations of her long fingers.
There are various opinions entertained as
to when the war will end, but the general
belief is that the lady will use up the old man
in few more fights.
-"Are you skillful mechanic 2" eyes,
Sir" "What can you make ?" "Oh, almost
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