Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1869-06-03
From the Cincinnati Tines.
DEt,ETT OF .SCHT WRITER'S
BIT THE FAT coSrRIBUToe.


The man who wrote Home sweet Hone,'
never had j home. c.--Erchonqc.
No. of conise not. All his folks at home
suy he didn't. Nobody who writes about
anything ever has it. If rlah is out cf
anylhIng he immediately goes and writes
about it. No one writes SO many ac4G,
ings as a man Who is out of his head.
Certainly be didn't ever have home =
The man who wrote odd Arm Chair new
er had an arm char in all bis life. The
best he ever had was an old split bottom
chair. without any back To it.
The Author OF Take me Back to Swift
erland never WAS in Switzerland, Tho
the William Tell Saloon eating Swiizer
kase--kdsc why, that was the best he
c6uld do.
Mother I've Gene Home to Die, hasn't
spoken 10 the old woman for years and
wouldn't 60 near the house. Besides lie
is one of that cias Of Spiriiulists who do
not believe they ever will die. His health
was never better. His mother is nothing
but mother in>law, and she is dead
anyhow.
There is the author odd Oaken Bucket
TOO. There was not bucket on the whole
farm. water being drawn with lin pail
and pole. s
! sIf had but a Thousana Year stated
privately to his friends that be would bc
pefectly con;cnted with nine hun dred,
he was doing chores for his board and
three inoh,hs schooling dhrihg the winter
Season.
The author of Champaign Charley new
er drank any thing but ten cen: wlliskey.
The man who wrote Mary had > lit,ls
lamb knew very well ii was nothing but
q little lambs fry
Shells Of ocean IS humbug, The
plainiive poet who represents himself as
wanicEing, one summers eve, With sea-
beat thought on pensive shore, was raised
in the interior OF Pennsylvania, and never
ten miles from home in his life. Gather
cd shells, did he? All the shells he ev~
or gathered were egg shell back Of his
mothers kitchen.
'Hark hear tho angels sing spen: his
evenings in concert beer saloon. Angels
indeed
The man who widtt the Song Of the
Shirt hadn't q shirt TO his back, wearing
wanpus most of the time.
Oft in tie Silly Night used to get on
spree and make the Silly night howl
till morning,
The author of we etby chance knew
very well that it was all arranged before
hand. He had been weeks in contriyIng
it--and she admired his contriyaDce.
The aulher OF Il know bank, etc.,
didn't know where he could get his note
discounted. The only ckeck be ever held
was white check On faro bank, he
never had Il red check 10 all his iifc.
What are the lid waves saying? knew
very wcil they were reproaching him 10
running swsy fIcm i.oDg Branch without
pay lnE his nOtCI bill.
Who will care for mother now Who,
indeed. You took The old woman 10 the
poor house Just before writing the soas
and there is nobody but the POormaslcr to
care ior her now.
Hear me, Norma, was deaf and dumb.
He couldn't make lis pa hear, nor
ma.
My mother, dear, used to tLresh the old
woman within an inch of her life.
The author OF Rain on the Roof, always
slept in the basement, except wien he
slept oat of doors.
Let me kiss him for his mother, got
mad because his mother wouldn't have
him, and whipped Eer little boy within AZ
inch of his life.
dream l dwelt in marble halls used 10
che at at marble when boy, and his
dream was |. horrid nightmare, brought
on by remorse at The recollection Of
fraudulent marble hauls.
I'm saddest when l sing was tickled
almost to death when invited TO.
Happy be thy dreams, sold nenzine
whisky. Yor can fancy what Kind Of
dreams were produced
No one to love, having just killed of
his fifth wife, naturally felt like the deyii
about 1t.