The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-04-09
A "KEERFUL SHEPHERD"

I MOrmonism is still IN practical oper-
alton among us. On last Friday a tall
raw-boned saint, with complexion
very strongly resembling that of boiled
tripe, arrived here from Pittsburg with
a couple of wives, but deeming his flock
too small to start to Salt Lakeward
with, held forth as follows to an admir-
ing audience. at a house over the Canal,
With view to the perfection of the ma
teriaI necessary to the completeness OF
his domestic felicity. His text was:
sIer is siceerce aud loeemen Is plenty"
"Brothern aud SisterE-pertikler the
Sistern. want to say few words to
you bout Mormonism-not for my own
sake, but for your'n, for ''nsen IS skeerce
and treemeYa Is plenty" r.tl r.s..l.t
"Mormonism Is built on that high old
principle which sez that it amt good for
man to be aioAe, and a mighty sight
worss for woman. therefore, If 8 man
feel good with little company, a good
deal ofssit ought to make him feel an aw-
full sight better, f.f..{ s.,
1.-The first principle of Mormonism is,
that women air good thing and tile
second principle is that you can t have
t. nderer than man, and is necessary to
smooth down the roughness OF his char
acter, and as man has good many rough
piuts in his natur, he Oughtn't to give
one woman too much to do, but set each
one to work smoothing some particular
pint" 9 t.. ui ".sa.g
'.Don't think IN over anxious for you
to Jine us, for I amt. I'm not speak
ing for my good, but for your'n: 'Jor
men is sc,erce and aceenlen Is plenty"
II said woman was tenderer than
man, but you needn't feel stuck up a.
bout it, for so she ought to be she was
made for that purpose. But how was
She made SOP Where did she git it
fron? Why. she was created out of the
side-bope OF u man, and the side-bone
OF man is like the side-bone ol a tur.
key-the tendcrest part about him."
"Therefore, as woman has three
side-bones and a man only one, OF
course she is three times as tender as a
man is, and is in duty bound TO repay
the tenderness of which she robbed him.
And how did she rob him of his side
bone. Why, exactly as she robs his
pockets now-a-days of his loose change
she took advantage OF him when he
WAS asleep"
stBut as woman is more tenderer than
man, so is man forgivener more than
woman therefore won't say anything
| more about the side-bone, or the small
change, but invite you all to Join my
train, fer am big shepherd out oul
way and fare sumptuously every day or
purple and fine linen"
"When first landed on the shores Of
the Great Salt Lake, wasn't rich in
weemep. had but one poor old doc
''but men Is skeerce and toeernen Is plenty,
| aud like keerful shepherd began to
increase my flock. Weemen heard OF
us and our lovin ways, and they kept
pomin in. they come from the North
and they come from the South, they
come from the East and they come from
| the West, they come from Europe,
they come from a A::SSa.,,,oy, end few from
Afriky, and from being the miserable
owner OF one old yoe, became the
Joyful shepherd Of mighty flock, with
right smart sprinklin of lambs, fattel
and friskier than anybody else's, and
I've still got room for a few more"
Gas said before. I'm not talkin par
| tickler for my own benefit, but for yours
for 'smen is sbeerce and aoeenen is plenty.
Still I'D Ieetle rather you'd go along
with me than not, pertlckler you fat one
with the caliker bonnet. Don't hesi,
| tate, but take the chance while you car
glt in and Ill make you the "bell-yoe
Of the flock. LII lead you through
| green pastures and the high grass; show
you where you may caper in the sun
shine, and lay down in pleasant places
and as you are in pretty good condition
| already, in the course OF time you shall
be the latest of the flock. Jine in:
jine in; jine my train-jine it now; fol
ssnen is skeerce and 1ceenen is plenty" 4
The appeal was Irresistible. At th'
last account, the ''fat womanl with thu
caliker sun-bonnet,"' had "ilned in
and two or three others were on thu
fence, with a decided leaning TOWARD
the ''Keerful Shepherd"
sUP 1t is the depth of study, not th'
extent of it. that gives intellectual pow
er.