The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-11-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

FARMERS insure their lives in the Wash
ington of New York.
THE most important part of every mans
education is that which he gives to him
self
A NEW YORK auctioneer announces fol
sale !" oil paintings by some of the ancient
masters of the day"
The reason why piano was not saved
at a fire was because none of the firemer
could play on it.
Mr.. SDdMs says if it wasn't for the hole
in the hoop you couldn't put it on the
barrel, and the barrel would burst.
WHAT'S the difference between water
and whisky? Men slip on the former
when it's frozen, and on the latter when
it isn't
If you would find great many faults
be on the lookout. If you would find
them in still greater abundance, be on the
loOk-in.
WHAT is the difference between the la.
bors of farmer and seamstress? One
gathers what he sows, the other sews what
she gathers
JONES" Poor Lucinda took that cir
cumstance very much to heart" Nibbles
=" Did she, indeed? The dear grill !
wish / was that circumstance"
AN old farmer reports a very fair growth
of corn in his section this season. He
states that in July it was so dark between
the rows that he was obliged to carry a
lantern to see to pillow it out. t,
NOT long ago the workmen in a great
powder factory in England were stopped
and searched just as they were entering
the works. Fifty-eight of them were
found to have IN their possession tobacco
pipes and matches, and were Immediately
discharged
AN unconscious but comical play upon
words was made by a little girl, not long
since, while relating to sympathizing
lady the loss of TIVE Q, Pc. .;iTS'. an na !,
was the answer, lone was hooked tc
death, and the other died on its own
hook"
SAID a male advocate of woman's rights:
"When am in crowded car, and a lady
comes in, think it is the duty of some
other man to get up and give her his seat.
| look around the car to see if any man in
the crowd looks like making a move in
that direction, and when l see them all
keep their seats, | hide my face behind my
newspaper, illu Dluou lOI NY oCA.
A lively New Orleans youth essayed the
role of ghost the other day, and was sound
ly thrashed by those he attempted to
frighten. He brought a suit for assault
with intent to kill "You wanted to be a
ghost, didn't you ?" inquired the Court
Yes, l reckon SOL" acknowledged the
youth. "Well, it seems to me rather un-
generous of you to wish to punish them
for helping you to become what you
wished"
SOMEBODY recently played practical
joke on the officers of the City Hall build
ing, at Lawrence, Kan, by procuring a
black snake, six or eight feet long, which
had been killed, and coiling it neatly in
side the entrance. 1t repeatedly fright
ened away several parties who come upon
it suddenly, but each returned in force to
kill it, among the rest a delegation of the
police force of the place, whose proves
was tried in this way by the Sheriff, who
had also been victim. The dead snake
died seven times before its final dissolu-
ton.
THE following letter explains itself, and
does credit to the Company and its hon
orable managers:
NEW YORK, March IS, 1868.
/. n. SToDDARD, Esq.-DEAR SIR
Your favor of the 10th instant is at hand
The premium on Mr. Johnson's policy
for January was unpaid, and the policy
would have lapsed for on-payment OF
premium, but for our rule of holding
policies in force while there is any
unused dividend to its credit. This is a
rule peculiar to this company, and its adj
70 tlo faf1
in this instance. Yours Truly,
M. MITCHELL,
Vice Pres't Washington Life.
AN exchange has the following anec-
dote: A traveller, in going through thin
ly settled district of Western Pennsylva-
MIA, passed tumbledown log cottage on
the roadside, and his attention was at
tracted by long rough pine board, nailed
up in the fashion of sign, and bearing in
characters of very primitive fashion, this
inscription:
mywyf QUERIES A Goose
and QUERIES the Gamblers.
Utterly COMPOUNDED by the mysterious in
timation, ne knocked at the door to have
the riddle explained, but the cottage. was
empty. He rode on, greatly perplexed,
and trying in vain to divine the peculiar
relation which this singular family ap-
peared to have established with geese, and
judged of sufficient Importance to pro-
claim thus ostentatiously. Presently he
met an old countryman limping along with
stick, and asked him if he knew the
house 90 yes; live there with my old
woman" "And what do you dc" Well,
you see my old woman and me are kind OF
doctors like: she cures the fever nagurs,
and l cures the janders."
A LETTER from Russia to the New York
Post says that few weeks ago peasent,
stability clothed and illiterate, came into
the Treasury at Poltava, and asked if they
could change some old paper money for
the new issue He was asked how mpon
he had, and he said he did not kno" tnat
he and his wife had counted oil one uay
and all the day after, and mad not nnlsheo.
An officer was sent 10 assist, and the peas
ant took up q BOARD from the floor and
showed bEiidles of notes packed away in
varioxs things, which, on being counted,
amounted to about $4,000 roubles. There
were some 5000 more in gold and silver.
He was asked where he got so much, and
he said that his grandfather had saved up,
that his father had saved up, and that he
himself had saved up. Suspicious were oil
course entertained that he had come by
this money dishonesty; but the whole
family had borne good character, anu, on
;noi,;rv there was no reason for OBTAINING
him ard his money was changed for him
into new notes. Such cases of boarded up
money are said to be quite common among
the peasants.