The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-03-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A PHYsIcIAN Of Meriden, CT, makes his
professional visits ON velocipede
THE Raleigh SentinA claims the tele-
graph as North Carolina invention.
An Alexandra (Va) shoemaker broke
the knee cap Of customer whose tight
boot he wss removing.
A WILL recently proved in the Probate
Court Of Middlesex county, Mass, was
signed Michael ]. O'Connor, deceased
A GENTLEMAN. on taking q volume to
be bound, was asked IL he would have it
bound In Russia "Oh, no." he replied,
Russia Is too far Of I win have 1t done
here"
TIE meanest man yet heard from lives
In Philadelphia- he was rescued from
drowning, the other day, by policeman,
and has sped the man for damage TO his
coat collar, In drawing him out
Nor having heard from the debating So
cieties In relation to the conundrum,
3Why do hens always lay eggs in the day
time" a contemporary answers, Because
at night they are 'roosterA'"
"WHKRE was Bishop Latimer burned
to death 2" asked teacher In q command
ing voice. "Joshuay knows" said lit
tie girl at the bottom Of the class "Well,"
said the teacher, ~if Joshuay knows, he
NAV tell" I" In the fire" replied Joshuay,
looking very grave and wise
The late James I. Brady was the au-
thor of "Pat Mallov," In the Irish Emf
grant" Meeting Barney Williams one
day, he composed It, and Barney has sung
it many times; but, says the Philadelphis
Pess, "when he came to sing the verse on
Friday evening. he thought Of the day
when his friend wrote II, laughing as he
did 90, upon an old scrap of paper upon
the top of his hat He could not 60 on,
but apologized to the audience, and the
plsy proceeded without the song"
A YOUNG gentleman, in certain bust
ness house, having tarried much longer st
his boarding-hou than was thought ne
cessary for the morning meal, wa asked,
on his return, In joking wsv, what he
"a cup OF coffee, mutton chop, and
employer. "what's thats" not having
been thoroughly enlightened in all the
mysteries" of boarding house fare.
"Whv." answered the other, that's
hash"
A FUNNY incident happened TO the cler-
gyman who breaches in the Ohio State
Penitentisry. He net female inmate
who Ia said to be very crazy, who sharply
asked: "Well, chaplain, how do you like
to preach to us ?" avery well, indeed
was his reply. "You behave well, are
quiet and attentive. like preaching to
you very well. indeed" ain that case,
chaplain" replied the girl. with a sigh.
ego ahead Preach 81 you have mind
to. suppose you are the best zoe can GTord
nosc ~
A YOUNG scapegrace in Cincinnati called
at each Of the newspaper offices the other
night, leaving o notice of the suicide OF
himself which was to come of that night.
Reporters were sent to his fathers resi-
dence to learn the sad particulars, but the
Governor" expressed his opinion to the
effect that his hopeful had taken this par
ticuiar way to scare the old gentleman,
thinking he would come down with some.
thing hsndsome; The youth did nos sHi,
worth q cent
young pupils from the Ecole Militaire
were skating on the deep moat that run
along by the Fort of Auxonne. As il
struck five, one of the party proceeded to
take off his skates "Don't go-one more
round p cried his companions. "No. no +;
l have had enough of 1t; besides, sm
hungry, and want my dinner" After the
departure of their comrade. the rest con-
tinued to skate, when suddenly the ice
broke, and all fell into the water snd
perished. The young man who so mirac-
ulously escaped by going off few minutes
before was no other than Napoleon Bona
parte.
HUMBOLDT, who witnessed several earth
quakes. said that no one ever gets used to
them, but on the contrary, his feelings of
dread are intensified at each successive
one which he experiences All beasts and
birds partake of mans fear, and seem
panic-stricken. Humboldt accounts for
mans inability to become accustomed to,
and consequently not to dread, earthquakes
by saying that whatever we have at any
time or under any circumstances consid-
cred shaky, the earth has always stood
firm, and when we find that tossing be-
meath our feet, it seems as though the very
bottom of things had been knocked out.
Every time the shock Is repeated, the un-
reliability of our only support is forced
upon our attention with augmented force.