New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1869-05-01
THE NEW-zEALANDER IN albany.


Zealand pictured by Lord Macaulay as musing,
centuries hence, amid the ruins of London,
may possibly extend his travels to Albany, in
the State of New-York, which by that time
will, of course, be in condition Of equal
dilapidation. AS he pokes his cane among the
heaps of rubbish near the site of the State
House he may discover a MS. over which the
snuffy antiquaries of the period viii gloat and
grumble, dilate and dispute. AS the English
Language will then be dead one, our explorer
will carry back the document to be elucidated
by the New-Zealand Academy OF Inscriptions,
which by the aid of lexicons will find out that
the MS. in question is headed ::
7 ~ METROPOLITAN HOTEL, I
broadway, New York. April 8, 1869.
state OF Nav York-The Committee OF Investigation OF
Privileges and Election, the Hon. W. W. Hegeman,
Chairman. ... %. r To Simeon Leland & Co, DR..
We will suppose the Academy, after few
years of wrangling and research, TO have de-
termined correctly just what this means. 1hey
will then slowly proceed with the items ihey
will find and determine that our legislation,
in A. ID. 1869, produced constant thirst and re-
oured constant refreshment, and demanded
constant consumption of tobacco, and necessi-
tated some other things which it will require
bend. Perpetual brandy and wine and whisky
and dinners they will, not without wonder,
suppose to establish sort of mythic connec-
ton between the business of making laws IN
the State of New York, MDCCCLXlX, and the
worship of the ivy-crowned Bacchus. They
will conclude that it required a great deal OF
drinking, and serious drinking at thai, TO
enable a Committee Of Investigation to lnves-
+igate any Vhin9. They will mark the difference
between the charges for stimulants and the
charges for stationery, and they Will conclude
that this Committee, like the old Saxon legls-
lators drank great deal moro than they
talked, and talked great deal more than they
wrote-which, for guess, will be uncommonly
correct. They will picture to themselves
Messrs. Hegeman g. Co. seated about the
board of consultation and grave conviviality,
drinking and debating with equal gravity and
Investigating energetically, even at the risk
of inebriety They will fancy 1Usti's 'a'-
coaitating worthy of a supper vi the gods.
But after indulging in these pleasing reveries
for a while, some New-Zealand Academican Will
suddenly inquire the meaning of the word
"Waverly." which appears 80 often in the Ms
There will be long speech from some mem
Der to show that "Waverly" refers to the
writings of q celebrated novelist, and that the
Committee sOlaced themselves after graver
labors by the perusal Of those production.
But VIC do not believe That single New
Zealand JctOr Will 80 much rs surmise that
"Waverly" mean pack of cards, and that
these Devils picture books" were always
designated by that mysterious title IL the
tavern bills of our age aud country. 1t is for
tunate perhaps. that this fact can never be
known to the Australian SdvGntS, who might
otherwise suppose that the researches OF our
Legislative Committees were conducted accord
ing to some cabalistic system, and that ques-
lions were decided by the principles which
regulate the noble games of poker, faro, and
rouge ct noir. For our own part, our only
wonder is that the Committee did not order in
a couple of billiard tables, and take short
lease of bowling-alley, in the name OF the
People of the State of Eew-YOrk.
What future ages will make of such charges
as Niblo's,n Booths" Wallacks" we can
not pretend even to guess. We comprehend
perfectly that after dining at the expense of the
State, Winning and cocktailing and punchifying
and smoking at q like charge, driving here and
there in carriages to be paid for by tho people,
LulS EXTRAORDINARY NOllllltlCS hl6hV hSii VIM
up their days of delight by witnessing the finest
dramatic representations at one theater, or the
freest display of women's legs at another But
how is the Australian Academy to know all
this-unless, indeed, we cause to be sculptured
upon enduring stone representations of the
Committee taking its pleasure in the parquette,
with the ballet-girls hopping before their en-
raptured eyesi
But further speculation is useless. We can
only hope, when our traveller of the future gets
home and publishes his books that he will
make no mistake-that he will not take it into
his head to advance any such fantastic theory
as that this bill of Messrs. Simeon Leland 81
Co. Is fragment of the Sacred Writings the
Yedas, the Korans of the present age, and OF
this unfortunate State, and that these wise
men were our religious rulers. with Mr.. Hege-
man for Pontfex Maximus. To ward against
this it might be proper to bury lin bottle),
at great depth, a copy of tho document, with
another of the current number OF TIE
TRIBUNE.