Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1869-02-20
Joe Ransom on Earthquakes

"
Tor moment in hIs persIsIert efforts 10
molsttn sbe clay, with tie sit OF spccd
rum aid wster.
know anything about EN-. I've been
thar Just look ST me-"
Joe took of his Lat. and il there wss
ever pericc, specimen Of dilaPIdateL hu
man nature It was he. Yon might have
examined his head with The d Of dou-
sle lens, compIra,ed, extra powerful mi
croscope, and faLej to discover The fret
sign OF hair. HIS face was sallow and
hned-she skin w!inhled Ike anmqnaied
rarchmenl-hIs eyebrows and Iashes
were gone. and his teeth ratified IN hls
ca,ernous mouth like peas IN dry bIsd-
der lie looked as if he had Jut been
run through tanning mrll turned by
whirlNind, or heIcheling machine drlv-
en- by Niagara!
"Wdl," ," said the deacon. gasplne from
the combined fleets Of run and astcnlsh.
meri. "Wcil. Joe, YOU do look Tor ssr-
tin =. il you had been there
40 be su'e was-Just came from
there. Had most Ihuntersuon time
shook all my hair of-csrried away my
whiskers, aud Just conlinently suUed my
old snaes as If ,hcre had been Vermont
stump machine working al them with ioi-
ty pair of csule. Been thar +. should
rather think | had some.
"T,llu- something shout II. Must
have been general conelomcranon.
hey %
"Shoull lbirk il Was. tell you, Cal
ifornia Is some on big ihinGs-bcars, Inn
bcr, and such like; but the arthquSke
knocks The spots QUITO aII EN-
"Mo,e ,evere Than IN other places.
Joe :"
"Cao't hold candle to them. Saw
trees lhick through asiorty hay stacks split
into the finest Kind Of matches; rocks as
big as Tie old mccun' house nyln' about
like chsd-'
"Y,u can't chsT u. joe"
Fact, pom honor. IS for bricks, tho
air was thicker wllh Ihep than hor on
poodle dog. Saw the hea''es' anchor ot
a msn.of.wsr shook luth shinglc nails. and
the chain was twisted into fiddle sInnGs.
Even saw an honest man shaken out OF
the Government stores.
Il can't swallow that, Joe.
"rhere were cracks IN tie arih more
than ten miles across. and ] tell you II
was mighty queer to look Gown into them.
1t was Just Ike looking al a great kettle
Of boiling molasscs, with pop corn dane
inp around 1t. | tell you, u wss grand.
Aud, voulJ you believe II ! there were
men and omen and chlldren-sorler hall
human and half lIIgstoI-swlmmlngs a.
round 5nd making out rs II II vas fun.
Then tie houses danced ground like
drunken Digger Indians. saws whole
block coming down The street. come into
collision with another. snd there was
nothing left Of them bat dust. A. Tor the
men and women, they lloaied around like
feathers Yes. you bet. IT shook somr.
Shook all the vegetables out Of tho
ground, all The milk our OF lie cow, al
the eggs cui Of Tie hen', AID all the
gfcerbacks out OF my pockets.
IL that true, Joe ?
&C C.rlainly. never t,ll lrcs about lII.
tie lhrug.. II shook 80 hsrd hat al tho
clans IN he by we're left without shells.
oil the fishes without scOles-,hook oil
The oil out OF The whales on the col.t and
the deyllry ou, Of lhe Indians.
THAT couldn't be.
"T,ll you il was. II shook all the gold
TO the surface, 50 that you could shovel II
up by The rau load. Pshaw the yellow
stuG wasn't Of any SccounI-kIcked II
back into the eap', glad 10 get It DOT Of
sight"
But how DID you lose yopr hair
and -"
Tell sou how il was. savs pretty
girl 1osMns around IN the cenuo Of The
earth. ihoughi she winked and b'chon.
ed TO ne. and just dove down someiblna
over ten millions OF feet t. embrars Ler.
Whew didn't get tot bath y
"And the girl, Joe-the glrl -
IL was about TO put my arms around
her, wben-grest Jupiter Ammon {! got
such a hoist that. when came TO my
senres found myself slltng 'trsddle Of
the Nevadas. Then there came another
quake. snd-here am. Something hot
would do me good jus! nov. descon.
Suppose you order H.
1HE DEsPoILERs Track The edi'or
= al. 4 Ia,