Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-03-19
Wise and Otherwise.


New Jersey farmers are Flowing.
Greeley don't like Grants Cabinet.
Ben. Wade is going to retire to prl-
vRte life.
Lettuce, shellotts ,snd turnip green's
made their appearance In the Cairo
market several days ago.
1t often happens when the hus-
band fails to be home for dinner that
it is one of his fast" days.
II you would be pest to society,
be q drunkard; then you will be
avoided as all infection.
Parson Browlow is said to be so
great an invalid as to have to be car
ried about in q chair.
A Physician in Troy was recently
buried in a coffin which he had
bought ten years ago in anticipation
OF rise IN prices.
! The Chicago Post says ii should be
set down to the credit of women that
there is one OF their number that can
keep o secret--or else Gen. Grant
does not take his wife into his con-
fidence.
\ jealous young woman OF New
Orleans followed her sweetheart on q
visit to n rival beauty, and while
leaning into window to watch the |
traitor, tipped over beehive with |
terrible result.
The Chicago Zri5t5nc says, So far
as Ann d. is concerned, there is no
need OF changing the law in relation
to female suffrage. The inspectors or
no election precinct in the United
States would dare to refuse her bal
lot If she offered it.
According to German statistics,
more than two hundred and fifty
thousand emigrants left Europe in
1868 to find homes in America. or
these, 1906 embarked ut Liverpool,
G8, 600 at Bremen, A, coo at Hamb burg,
20, 600 at Havre, and about 5000 at
Antwerp.
RULgg.-Sit next to the carver, If
possible, at dinner.
Never contradict man who slut
ters.
Pull down the window blind be-
fore you put OH your wig.
Keep no more cats in the house
than will catch mice.
Better have one plow going than
two Cradles"
The other evening q couple of
young men were exhibiting patent
churn in Canton, Illinois. when
humorsome old lady averred that the
was q humbug. To disprove
the assertion, they offered to make |
butter within ten minutes. The old
lady filled the churn, the patent right
heroes set to work, and spent two I
hours in perspiriDg and relieving
each other, to no purpose, before the
iocular matron informed them that
they were churning buttermilk. u
a subdued husband, wh0 dared not
contradict his wife In conversation,
n in,
one occasion he was on his knees,
with crowd about the door, gather
ed there by his "hOllerin' and "a
calm on the Lord to forgive this
black hearted woman "make her
tell the truth, o Lord, and make her
quit gaddin' about and lynn to the
:" 'twhen," observed the
wife, in her version of the affair, II
couldn't stand it, so jist took him a
swipe with the fiat of the shovel, and
I'll do it again."
Coop TuINGs.-One of the Wash
ington correspondents relates the fol-
lowing rich incident of Inauguration
day:
President Grants father and
brother, Orville Grant, a merchant
In Chicago, are here. In conversa-
ton with the old gentleman, l asked
him if Mrs. Grant, the Generals
mother, would be here for the inau-
gurutIon? No. he said, Il tried to
coax her, and bride her to come, but
she wouldn't-I did not scold her
about it, for / never did scold her,
and ala too old TO begin now. She
said, Pap, do you think would go
TO Washington and be stared at by
fifty thousand people and have every
stitch on me printed in fifty news.
papers; 10 indeed she need not
stay away on that account, said the
Did gentleman, for she would have
looked as smart as anybody here;
put she and Ulysses are u good deal
alike, and once her mind Is made up,
here was no use talking to her any