The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-12-16
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

q. Who liz the wisest man +?
A. He who korrekts in himself the
faults he discovers in others, and who
measures hiz faults bi his humility.
@. Who is the handsomest man?
A. The man whoze honesty IL hiz
looking-glass.
Q. Who IL the politest man?
A. He who kin lay aside hiz digni-
ty amung interiors without lozing it,
who kin make elegence mistaken for
reverence amung superiors, and who
kin git from hiz equals more compla-
isance than he gives.
Q. Who is the vainest man?
A. He who kant see peekok in a
barnyard in full bloom without loos-
ing hiz appetight for his dinner.
O. Who IL the meanest man?
A. He who gifts biz luxurvs bi
peeking thru key-holes.
Q. Who il the happiest man?
A. He who knows ov many that
he haz made happy, and not one that
he haz made mizerable.
Q. Who IL the purest man?
A. He who would sooner pray for
a bumblebee who stung him than
brake up hiz nest.
Q. Who IL the too generous man ?
A. He who throws hiz purse into
a crowd, the man who gifts it calls it
good luck, and they who don't git it
call him phool.
Q. Who il the truest man?
A. He who kan distinguish be-
tween our virtews and our vices, and
while he commends the one, amt
afraid tew condemn the other.
Q. Who il the greediest man?
A. He who kant see one woman
kiss another without crying for sum
ov it.
Q. Who il the biggest SSspokrit?
A. He who calls vice9,-sezure, and
then trys to make phool ov himself
by believing it.
@. Who is the best philosopher?
A. The man who pracktisses hiz
own precepts, and whose example
proves the truth of the precepts.
@. Who il the best husband?
A. He whoze love for his wife il
the constant esteem which he shows
her.
Q. Who il the most beautiful wo-
man?
A. She whose buty everybody
feels and nobody sees. AoyDu
Q. Who is the best housewife?
A. The woman who can make the
best hash out ov the least meat, and
whoze kat knows it, IL certain deth
tew touch the kream OH the milk pans.
Q. Who iz the most chaste wo-
ma?
A. She whom the angels have
whispered to.
@. Who il the most intelligent VIC.
man?
A. She who knows that her power
lies behind the throne, not on it.
Q. Who IL the strongest minded
woman?
A. She who minds her own biz.
ness, and sees to it that her husband
minds hiz. o zf
Q. Who il the lovelyest girl in the
village?
A. The one who, like the violet
tew be found, must be sought after
and, when found, IL more surprized
than pleazed who il az unconscious
of her buty az flower, and az certain
of her innocence and excellence az q
diamond in its hiding place.
@. Who is the most industriou:
woman?
A She who hain't got emmy spare
time tew SANDER her nabors.
@. Who il the most accom- plish
woman?
A. The woman who kan paint pix
turs of singular buty on the broad
and spotiess canvass ov her children
souls, and who il alwus reddy tev
play, without asking, a lively tune OF
the heart ov her husband.
Q. Who il the vainest woman?
A. She hasn't bin born yet.
Q. Who is the noblest brother?
A. He who wears the honor ov hi
sister, not in his breastpin, but in hi
heart.
@. Who il the sweetest sister?
A. She. who stands proudly in tn
shaddo of her brother.
@. Who IL the dearest old maid?
A. The girl who, like the last ros
oV summer ripe with buty, stand
waiting tew wclkum winter.
@. Who IL the happy old bache
lor?"
A. The phellow who picks the ros
Gist mentioned abuv) and puts it i'll
to hiz buzzum.
@. Who is the lovelyest old aunt
A. The one whoze bank account
is ripe and luxuries, and who ha
made up her mind not tew live alwus
@. Who are the cleyerest cousins
A. He who IL little more bashfu
than brother, and not quite so mucl
so az lover; and she who frolick
less kareful than sister, and rathe
more sassy than a sweetheart.
@. Who IL the best skoolmaster?
A. He who, like good cook, cal
make insipid things taste good.
@. Who liz the best judge of hu
man naturc?.
A. The man who IL the best iudg'
ov himself.
Q. Who il the best lawyer?
A. He who duz the least Dizziness
Q. Who IL the richest man?
A. The man who haz the best ac
count in the Kingdom of Heaven.