Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1869-03-10
THE CHRONICLE.
Boiling a COeOanut.


Tom is a genuine specimen of the
genus Piketus Ore~gonIensis. He
lived at the Dalles, California, where
he had retired to enjoy city life, after
having accumulated a competency by
lucky speculations in cattle.
Tom was no fool, on the contrary
rather sharper than the average of his
kind, in matters and things that he
'knowed about
One morning Tom walked up town,
as was his wont, to see what was
going on, and stopped in front of the
Mount House saloon to exchange
salutations with his friends, Jim c.
and Vic T., who occupied arm chairs
near the door. Adjoining the Mount
House was a cigar, fruit and genuine
meerschaum pipe stand, and among
the multitude of wares exposed for
sale on the sidewalk, was a huge pile
of cocoanuts, arranged like cannon
balls.
Whats them?' asked Tom.
'COcOanuts,' replied Jim, quietly.
What are they for?' inquired Tom.
TO eat, you darned fool said Jim;
didn't you ever see a cocanut befOreY
How do you eat them?' continued
Tom, waving the reflection upon his
ignorance.
why, boil them,' said Jim, with
great immobility of face.
So without further delay, Tom
bought the largest he could find,
and paying six bits therefor, and
made a Decline for home.
That evening Tom came up town,
81 .,&,,;nr fIn EATor-+ IT, III
to Vic, in a quiet tone:
The old woman has been a bilin
that cocOanut all day, an it pears like
it amt done yet-every once in a
while she makes a dive after 1t with
a two-prign'd fork, and it cavorts all
around the kittle.-What do you
think%
Why said Vic, perhaps you
didn't put any s~aleratus in the water
that's it; go home and put in a hand
full of ~saleratus, and keep on boiling
it it may be an old one
The next morning Tom started up
Main street, walking very fast, with a
very excited air about him, and going
into the saloon, he at once advanced
towards Vic and Jim, and pale with
half suppressed passion, exclaimed:
You think you are mighty smart,
don't you, to tell a Teller TO go and
bile a cocOanut? Here we've been a
bilin and a bilin the cussed varmint
all day and all night, and the blamed
thing amt done yet. Now rn Just
let you fellers know that I don't be-
lieve that's the right way TO cook a
cocoanut no how
WbaraunoO Ton, ooIIad ,,ro,, Tudno
late of Western Virginia, a
knight of st. Crispin and justice of
the peace, and appealed to him to
prove that boiling a cocoanut was not
the proper culinary method to prepare
that tropical luxury for the table.
The judges idea upon the subject of
cocOanut being somewhat crude his
evidence was rather mixed Said
the Judge, very deliberately, after
sugar in his'n' 'Whar / was
l think cocoanuts wasn't
generally bilt. If l don't disremem-
Der, they barbacued EN-, like she'll
and'-being guided by
observing n smile going arOund-I
Tom, that these we're fellows
has been a sellin' you.'
The idea now becoming perfectly
clear to Tom that he had been Sold
he was frantic with rage, and gratu-
offered TO lick any man who
said that bilin a cocoanut was the
right way to cook it. The boys smiled
audibly, but kept out of the way.
A few days after this occurrence,
Tom came TO the saloon with tears
running down his cheeks: and look
ing distressed generally. Calling Vic
and Jim aside, he said, with a voice
5remulouS with modification:
Boys, this bilin a coeoanut is
rough on me, sure; them
that got stuck in that quartz
mine up in the basin, just come 10 me
70 borry five thousand dollars, and
offered to give me the ledge and the
mill they are going TO put up, for
security. Boys. if ever 1 was right
mad that was the time. Says l Gen
.lemen, you didn't try to git money
i'll you heard I'd done gone and billed
cocoanut! Now gentlemen / may be
/ id enough fool 10 bile Il cocoanut
out cuss my everlasting melt if Pm
DOL enough to LET my good American
gold coin 90 on such security Is a
ledge up in Bosey Basin. Git
" some of US will git hurt And
hey did git
Now, boys, (conidentially couldn't
We get the story out that it was Joe
Teal that billed the cocoanut'-he is a
fool than me, and thinks he
las got a heap more money!