Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1869-12-15
THE CHRONICLE.
VARIOUS

"
Texts for sinners-Pretexts.
Clerical loans-Lent sermons.
The new cut"-The Suez Canal.
Popular diet in Utah-Spare rib.
4 friendly suit-A Quaker's dress.
The scene of disasters-KerOsene.
Unredeemable neutrality-suspicious..
Stump speeeh-U Offering a challenge.
Original water works-A pair Of
eyes.
The greatest army contractor
Peace.
Harmless pugilism-striking atti-
tudes.
/ How to take a cold bath-Take it
coolly.
1t is pleasanter to see than feel a la
dy's cuff.
Motto for chess-players-Acto on the
square.
A tale of thrilling interest-The rat
tie snakes.
Strange bed-clothes-Three sheets
in the wind.
The travel to Turkey on Thursday
was extensive.
Street paving in Chicago cost last
year s., 1000, 600.
The Wyoming Council has passed a
female suffrage bill.
The public singer that draws" the
best-A mosquito.
What is the greatest want Of the
age? Want of funds.
Cheap generosity-Giving q man a
piece of your mind.
People who let the grass grow un-
der their feet-AerOnauts.
Never tell your secrets in a corn
field, for it has a thousand ears.
"Editors ought to be able to live
cheap-they get ''bored" for nothing.
A sufferer complains that squeak
ing boots murdered sleep" in church.
When is a small fish-pond like a
bird cage? When there's.a perch in it.
Why is an over-worked horse like
an umbrella? Because it is used up.
1t is said-ironically, perhaps-that
blaeksmiths forge and steel every day.
Some colds, like gluten, stick to
their subjects q great while.
A new church in Boston, dedicated
on Sunday, has q reporters pew.
Two and one-half inches is the ex-
treme height of ladies' bOOt-heels.
"Gilded stoves for drawing rooms"
are advertised in Philadelphia.
Overcoats lined and faced with seal
skin fur are now in vogue among
wealthy New Workers.
1t wasn't alone the conductors of
] a n who said on Thanksgiving after
noon, "all full"
People speak of the suns breaking
out. Will they account for the spots
on its facet
A girl of eighteen years is about to
be beheaded at Goerlitz, Prussia, for
numbering her parents.
An old man in Connecticut was
buried last week in the suit he had
worn at his own four weddings.
The Marquis of Butte is to build q
large Catholic Cathedral at Oxford,
England, at his own expense.
If an engine whistle could speak to
the driver, what would it say /? Don't
touch me, or I'll scream"
Olive Logan says she never saw a
pretty girl but she wanted to take her
in her arms and kiss her.
An ex-newspaper man and a piano
dealer are going to erect 3 ten-million-
dollar hotel in Chicago.
What is the difference between a
! pill and a hill? One is hard to get up
and the other is hard to get down.
The Prince de Metternich claims to
have restored over fifty fallen women
to their families and to responsibility.
The latest wrinkle in the fashion,
able world is to give morning reading
parties, to which gentlemen are invi-
ted.
Height of extravagance-Getting
yourself run over by a railroad car Just
after you have bought your diary for
1870.
A young lady in Illinois, having a
dose ito be taken before going to bed, "
sat up until she got well, so as not to
take it.
An actor lives on his roles by put
ting them into his head and other
people their rolls by putting them in
to their stomach.
Woman-There is a purple half to
the grape. a mellow half to the peach,
a sunny half to the globe, and a better
half to man.
"Jake, lend me ten dollars till 1 sell
my dorg?" Jake replied sOOthingly,
and alphabetically: 80 Jiml L