The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-08-14

A lodge Of the Independent Order of
Odd Fellows, at Woodston, determined TO
have their lodge-room done up clean and
nice. 1t was resolved unanimously that
Mrs. K. should be employed to do the
JOB.
After the meeting adjourned the Guard
ian, who knew the inquisitivs character
Of Mrs. K, procured billy goat and
placed him in q closet that was kept as
reservoir for secret things. He then IN
formed the lady Of the wishes OF the lodge,
and requested her to come early next
morning, as he would then be at leisure
to show her what was and what Was not
to be done.
Morning came, and with it Madame K,
with her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, ETC.,
and found the Guardian waiting for her.
Now, Madame" said ne, :. tell what
we want done, and how We came TO en-
ploy you The brothers said it was din
cult 70 ge. any body to do the job, and not
be msddIing with the secrets in the little
closet; we have lost ths key, and cannot
hud it to lock the door. l assured them
that you could be depended OF"
Depended on guess ean. Ny poor
dead and gone husband. he belonged to
the Free Masous or anti Masons, | don't
know which. He used TO tell me all the
secrets Of the concern, and when ne showed
me all the marks the grid-iTon made when
he was initiated, and told me how they
fixed poor Morgan, l never told living
soul to this day; if nobody troubles your
closet to find out your secrets till L do,
they viii lay there till they rot, they
will"
Thought SO, ;" said the guardian, and
now want you to commence In that cor
ner, and give the whole room decent
cleaning. and I pledge my word and honor
for the fidelity to your promise, now don't
90 into that closet" and then LETT the
lady TO herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound OF
his feet on the last step of the stairs then
she exclaimed, Don't get into the clos
ct r-"Tll warrant there's grid-iron,
or some nonsense, just like the anti
Mssons for all the world, I'll be bound
| | will take one peep, and nobody will be-
any the wiser, as ] can keep it to my
self
Suiting the action to the word, she step
ped lightly TO the forbidden closet, turned
tho button, which was no sooner done,
than bah! went the billy goat with
spring to regain his liberty, which came
near upsetting her ladyship. Both started
for the door, but it was filled with impie-
ments for house cleaning, and all were
swept from their position down to the bot
| tom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned By
such unceremonious coming down stairs
drew half the town to witness Mrs Ms
effort to get from under the pile of pals,
tubs. brooms, and brushes In the street.
Who should be first to the spot but the
rascally door-keeper, who after releasing
the goat, which was cripple for hfe, and
uplifting the rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth, anxiously inquired II
she had been " taking the degrees
| "Taking the degrees !" exclaimed tho
lady, ",.if you call tumbling from the top
TO theSbottom of the stairs With the devil
after ye, taking things by degrees, have
Them, and if ye frightened folks as ye have
me, and hurt them to boot, I'll warrant
lthey will make as much noise as did,
"I hope you did not open the, closet,
madam" said the door-keeper,
"Open the closet p Eve ate the apple
she was forbiddenl IF you want wo-
man TO do anything, tell her not to do 1t,
and she'll do il certain. could not stand
the temptation. The secret was there. |
wanted to know it. I opened the door and
ont popped the tarnal critter right into
nv face. 1 thought the devil had me, and
I broke for the stairs with the devil but
] ting me at every jump. | fell over the
Tub and got down stairs as you found Us,
all in heap.
"But, madam" said the door-keeper,
"you are in possession of a great secret OF
our order, and must go up to be initiated
and sworn, and then go in the regular
way"
Regular way !" exclaimed the lady,
" and do you suppose am going near the
! tarnal place, and ride that ar critter with
/, out bride or lady's saddle? No never !
I don't want nothing to do with the man
that rides it. I'd look nice perched upon
, la billy poat-would't ! No, never! III
! never go nigh it again, nor your hall nuth-
, er-ifI can prevent it no lady shall ever
!. Join the Odd Fellows. Why, I'd sooner
! be Free Mason, and be broiled on grid
s, iron as long as FIRE could be kept under
lit, and pulled from garret to cellar, with
Ella halter, in pair of old breeches and Slip
pers. lust as my poor dead husband Aud
lhe lived over it, but never could live
lover such another ride as took to-day. :
sI say, Pat, said Yankee to an Irish