The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-12-08
WIT AND HUMOR.

legG w nya my Iather naQ one, |
and so had ny grandfather. 1t runs
in the family"
Good style of Ealking-When you
have got into an editor S room, walk |
right out again. 1t is healthy exer-
GEOGRAPHICALLY for the editor.
A Partisan author has translated |
Shakspeare's line. Out, brief CANDLE |
into French thus: Get out, you'll
short candle"
Accusation is not proof, and COM
initial is not conviction. as many
worthy fellow has found reason to
know.
Habit is the garment of slavery
when given to US by society; 1t Is the
garment of freedom when woven by
ourselves.
The greatest effort of friendship is
not to bear the faults of our friends,
but to pardon the superiority of their
talents.
When charity walks into the low
est places of want, we see the beaulI-
full purity of her robes most distinctly
To do nothing is not always to lose
ones time. To do what we do care
lessly, is to lose it inevitably. 1t is
WEAKNESS without profit.
It must have been one of Nasby's
Conservative, relatives who, when
sick, declined to take medicine that
would effect radical " cure.
Most of the shadows that cross our
path through life are caused by our
standing in our own light.
Man without work is a clock with
out hands. He goes, but not soul
in tho world, save himself, is ever the
better for it.
Mark Twain says that the Sand
Tich Islands dish of plain dog Is
only our cherished American sausage
with the mystery removed"
The more the gem is cut, the
more it sparkles; the heavier the
cross is, she heavier is the saints
crown.
Ministers by sending out a sweet
perfume in their doctrine and life
make the church garden of spices.
"There ara but two future verbs
which man may appropriate confident
" and without pride: i shall suffer
and I shall die.
Why are washerwo great trav-
eleIs? Because they are Annually
crossing the line, and running from
pole to pole.
A music seller was lately oyerpow-
cred by fastidious young lady, who
wanted to purchase Mr.. Hood s
song ofa gentleman's undergarment. .
A Spaniard in the first pages of his
English grammar. desiring one even
ing TAT table to be helped to some
boiled tongue, said: " will thank
you, Miss, to pass me the language"
"How came such greasy mess in
the cven?" said fidgety old spinster
to her maid of-all-work why,
replied the girl, the candles fell
into the water, and put them into
the oven to dry"
Charities are like tile laid in
swampy ground. The influences. al
work are all silent and unseen; but
YOU know this: the moro you lay, the
more bounteously the future crops
will bless you.
a Chicago lawyers name is TO be
stricken from the rolls $ for unprofes-
sional conduct" lie probably left a
few cents in the possession of his
client contrary to usage.
We deceive ourselves when VIC
fancy that only weakness needs sup
port. Strength needs it far more. A
straw or feather sustains itself lone
in the air.
Take two letters from money anC
there will be but one left.-EGchGnge
We once heard of fellow who tool
money from two letters and there
wasn't any left Vicksburg Times.
Some people seem to have beer
created for the particular enjoyment
of scandal. Like swine, they are
supremely happy only when they have
succeeded in finding a good sized
mud-puddle to wallow in.
RowDY LAW" IF you insult Thu
lady" said a gentleman to a loafer
I" I'll slap your face" And if YOU
do" said IT,. loafer sternly, III
shoot you in seif. defence believing
my life to be N danger"
John" said a stingy old hunk t,
his hired man, as he was taking din
ner, do you know how many pan
cakes yon have eatenY No
Well, you've eaten fourteen.
Well" said John, You count an,
I'll eat"
THOUGHTS AND FLowERs.-It j
with our thoughts as with our flower
those that are simple In expression
carry their seed with them; thos
that are double charm the mind, bu
produce nothing.
a lady once asked Louis Napoleal
whether he would publish a deere
putting down the vice of smoking
The Emperor, who Is great smoker
replied: Find me, madam, virtu
that will bring a hundred million
into the treasury, and the decree yol
want shall be published.
A touching epitaph is this tribut
to lovely flower:
OUR LITTLE JACOB
Has been taken away from this earth
~ garden &c bloom
In Superior Flower pot Above.
Mother, when go to Heaven vii
you shave my head?" asked Charlie
NO my Sun DuS hhy 40 you ds
such a question: Cause all tn
little babies that come from Heave
are bald, and all the old people VII
die and go there are bald, too.
A leader of music in church wher
congregational singing was practice
selected a tune with wrong metre,
be sung to the words,
with hyssop purge my soul, o Lord"
He tried it twice when an old lad