Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-03-26
The "Fat Contributor After Office.
From the Cincinnati Times.

From the Cincinnati Times.
TIMES OFFICE,
CINCINNATI, o., MARCH S, 1869. {
President Grant:
DEAR SIR-If Congress don't pass the
enabling act so you can keep Stewart in
the Cabinet, you will of course be compell-
ed to appoint another Secretary of the Trea-
sury. What dye say to appointing me
The act of Congress of 1889 don't apply to
me in the remotest degree. I am not and
never was concerned or interested in
carrying on the business or trade of COM
merce," and never expect to be. Com
merce don't interest me, and have no
concern about trade whatever. I never
so much as traded jack knives when was
boy.
l once clerked it for while in country
store, but as exhibited not the least apti-
tude for the business, and was discharged
the end of the first week, that, surely,
ought not to be allowed to work against
me. There was one circumstance, how
ever, in my brief mercantile career that
might render me unfit for the atmosphere
of Washington my accounts were found
to be correct. But that eccentricity might
easily be overcome after brief residence
in the capital city. Take me little while
on trial, at least, and if in a months time
haven't fixed myself--but it don't be-
come me to boast.
"No owner in whole or part of any sea
vessel" Sir, hardly ever saw a sea YES
| sci. A canal boat trip from Utica to Sche-
nectady and one winter in Temperance
Society, comprise my experience on qo0ter.
Cor purchase by himself, or by another
in trust for him, any public lands or other
public property, or be concerned in the
purchase or disposal of any public securi-
ties of any State or of the United States
or take or gain any compensation for ne
gotiating or transacting any business in
the said department., other than shall be
allowed by law"
Here, too, you will find me sound. I
have studiously avoided, as matter of
principle, buying any large tracts of land.
| might, perhaps, have been induced to
permit some one to purchase a few tracts
TN trust for me if could find anybody
that would trust, but fortunately for my
eligibility for the position Stewart seems
likely to leave vacant, no such individual
| has made himself manifest.
"And if any person shall offend against
any of the prohibitions of this act he shall
be deemed guilty Of high misdemeanor,
and forfeit to the United States the pen
atty of three thousand dollars; and shall,
upon conviction, be removed from Of
fee, and forever thereafter be incapable
of holding any Office under the United
| States"
Never fear; shan't transgress. I'll
give bonds never to engage in any bust
ness, either while holding the Office of
Secretary of the Treasury or afterward
l won't even attend to the business of the
Secretaryship, but will hire it done, Gov
ernment paying for it. Can l say more
regarding my qualifications for the Office,
as gauged by the law of 1888?
You didn't know of that law, eh E? / have
known about it for years. When child
I read the laws of the United States for
diversion, and that very eighth section of
the act of Congress approved September
ID, 1889, was what attracted my particu-
lar attention. Here, reasoned I-for had
sense beyond my ears. not having much
this side Of them-here, perhaps. is my
opportunity. That clause may be over
looked. will keep mum, and avoid ever
embarking in any business.
Some President, whose other duties
have prevented his reading the laws OF
the United States as carefully as have
may appoint business man Secretary OF
the Treasury in ignorance Of this clause,