davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
Protection IIiusirated.

Tho Washington correspondent
Of the Cincinnati Commercial Gre
publican,) publishes tho following
piquant sketch Of The protoctionist
and his dupes
Let me illustrate. 60, like an
ass, into the axe-handle business
] hnd that it won't pay Axe-hanr
dies can be bought cheaper in Can
ada than [ can make them, 80 l
hasten up to Congress and state
my grievance. It is great inter-
est, says the sepulchral Kelley, and
must be protected, 1t is a great
interest, echoes Moorhead, Wilson,
Sherman, Wade & Co. 1t Is n great
interest, shrieks the Tribune ct al;
and forthwith a law IS passed fore
ing every man purchasing an axe.
handle TO pay me fifty cents instead
Of twenty-five. This is called a
protection to American industry
That is, it protects my industry at
the expense ofthe woodchopper.-
But then no had no business to bo
a wood d-chopper, Why don't no
mako axo.handles? Serves him
rlhht
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
ghost. / was in a lodge of Masonp.

ghost. was in a lodge of Masons.
They did not observe for n moment
that / could see, ~ l had good
chance TO watch the performances.
They were performing their mystic
rites with a vengeance. They wero
dancing n mystic war dance around
a big skull, and playing at leap frog,
and turning hand springs, and the
big fat fellow Of the ante. room was
standing on his head in n corner
finishing the contents ofmy little
bottle, Order was soon restored.
and ] was led up to desk and told
to be at ease. The chief engineer
of the establishment then put his
thumb to his nose; and stretched
out his fingers in the shape Of a fan
towards me-; commanded silence;
the rest Of the brothers did likewise
and were silent The governor
thon addressed me: Brother
Kobb, you are now one Of rs you
are q member Of an institution
which has lasted ten million Of
years. From this forward your
constitution is sound, you are water
proof even fro proof with impun-
lty you may walk through .he lake
or slt down on red hot stove. You
arc free from rheumatism, dyspCp-
sia, whooping cough and the meas
les. The sheriff dire not seizc you
for debt, nor policeman arrest you
for misdemeanor you are one Of
us-you are safe. ITorcis tho pass.
word with that and a bug club you
can get into any lodge IN Chrlsten.
dom"
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
A. G. Il N n s w A N Il Il ID
For the Peoples Edition Of
COnybeare & lIOWsOn'S Life & EpiStleS oil
ST. PAUL,

With an Eloquent and Able Preliminary
Dissertation by
Ray. LEONARD BACON, b. D., of Yale
College,
Embracing graphic and eloquent define
alton Of the Early Life, education, conver-
sion, teachings, labors, travels, suiIerings,
perils, prosecutions and missionary career
of ST. PAUL. thus constituting a living
picture Of the great Apostle. and of the cir
eumstances by which he was surrounded.
A perfect magazine Of facts. Bishop d.
W. Clark, Of Cincinnati.
regard II as one of the best books ever
written. Prof Stowe.
DR.. Bacon's name in connection with this
edition is n tower of strength. JOSH. Tut
tie, ID. D., President OF Wabash College.
do heartily recommend IL as a faithful
and valuable guide in the study Of the
Scriptures. Bishop MIlvaine.
No work in the language approximate
II. Rev Hopkins, President Of Williams
College. .tl
A great and useful book--Rev Ichn
Wheeler, President of Baldwin University,
Ohio
Send for circulars with full particuiars,
terms and testimonials. Address,
National Publishing Co., Has
Elm street. Clncinnati, ..
. Jan 2e--4w.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

wise, and thus eventually to thwhrt
the nefarious designs of a Congress
lost TO the wishes Of people it pre-
tends to represent therefore, be It,
Resolved, by the General Assem-
bly, of the State OF Ohio, That ull
legislative action on the part of this
Legislature for the ratification or
rejection of tho proposed Constitu-
tioaal Amendment, referred to in
the foregoing preamble, bo deferred
until after the people may bo heard
for or against the same, ut tho next
general State election and that we
do hereby most earnestly invoke the
Legislatures of all tho other States
to do likowise.
Resolved, That our Representlves
IN Congress he requested, and our
Senators be instructed to cast their
votes and use thcir influence to re-
send the resolution proposing said
amendment
Resolved. That copies Of the fore
going preamble and resolutions, Ger
tilted by the Speaker Of tho House
and President of the Senate, be for.
warded to each Of our Senators and
Representatives in Congress, and to
each ofthe Governors of the respec-
tive States, TO be laid before the Log.
islatures thereof.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
AdEaInIAtraIOr's Sale OF Real
EGInlA

In pursuance of an order of the Probate
Court Of Morgan county, OhiO,I will offer
for sale at public auction on Saturday, the
lIth day OF April, 1859, at 10 o'clock, fore
noon, upon the premises, the following real
estate situate in the cOuntien Of Morgan aud
Perry, Ohio, to wit Being in Morgan
County, Ohio, part Of the south.half
of the southwest quarter, section thir-
~, l3Ol township nine, 1911, range thir-
teen, ll3L it being the. whole Of the
south half of said quarter except TWEEN
ty acres decided 10 Mary Shell by Thorn
as Barnes; and also the following tract:
from William Dickerson, fifty acres oil
the west side running north and south
with the Perry county line across the
whole OF the lands conveyed by j.
Weston TO N, Weston and by him to N.
u. Abbot and others, and
by them conveyed to William Dicker
SON and also the following situate in
Beartield towdship, Perry county, Oh.
TO- bounded and described rs follows:
Being in the south corner ofthe south
east half quarter of the south east quar-
ter, section twenty FIVE, 1851, and town
ship thirteen il3 range fourteen, (l4l
and running north seventeen rods, and
hyc links; thence west twenty rods;
thence five rods and five links south;
thence thirteen rods west thence
south thirteen rods; thence thirty rods
TO the place Of beginning; also five
acres being as follows, in the same sec
tion and range as above mentioned,
commencing at the south west side of
said lands to run east until il intersects
with said lands and from said corner
north TO the above named lands, SO as
to contain five acres. The above men
toned real estate, in all, is supposed
TO contain one hundred and forty
acres, appraised at twenty FIVE hund-
red dollars. Terms of Sale: One
third in hand, one-third in one year,
and one,third in two years from day of
sale, with interest. The back pay
ments TO be secured by mortgage on
the premises sold b. F. POWER,
Administrator of the Estate of
Jane Graham, deceased.
Feb, 6th, 80 y 4w. ~.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
BUREEVI ALIVE.

A Pittsburg paper chronicles tho
following
Several years since a beautiful
young lady, hardly eighteen years
of age, who resided in tho vicinity
of Allegheny, became suddenly sick
and although her parents, who ido-
lized her, summoned tho most skill
full physicians, tho disease increased
in virulen nee for some days, and ap-
parentIy terminated fatally.
. Her death was heavy blow To
her mother, who loved her fondly,
and after waiting tho usual time
precribcd by custom, the body was
Inferred in one of the cemeteries
adjoining our sis;er city. A few
weeks ago tho Iady's father died
when she expressed a desire to have
the body inferred with tho remains
OF her daughter.
The request was so natural that
no objections were made to it. Tho
grave Of the departed fair one was
opened, and upon the body icing
exhumed il was discovered, with
horror, that the body had been turn
ed in the coffin. All investigation
proved too conclusively that the
poor young lady had been buried
alive.
Her cloths about the body had
been torn into shreds, and her har
pulled from her head by handfulls
She had undoubtedly recovered
consciopsness while bed and
aftward died of suffocation. The
mother, when viewing the corpse,
was seized with Mysteries, and a
fow days since was conveyed to the
Dixment Insane Asylum, raving
raniac.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
MrEmCNM~o

The warden of tho Massachu~
tetts State Prison insists that he
never knew o criminal who was
a Mason.
The Boston Trdreler speaks
dolelully Of tho spread of infidolity
in the largo towns and cities Of
Massachusetts.
The Canadians are so burdened
with silver coin, that they havo
combined to export two million dol
lars worth.
The very latest San Francisco
arenity Is two-edged dirk, with
a handle at right angles to the blade,
like chopping knife.
Five young men IN Berlin late
ly tried to see whether they rould 20
without slocp for week. Only
one succeeded, and he lost twenty
FIVE pounds of flesh.
"A German woman's rights pa
per IL announced IN New York - as
though a "Gcrman womans rights"
wero distinct and different from a
Yankee woman's rights.
There are only two saloons in
Salt Lake City, and their license
fee, including billiards, in six hun
cred dollars q month, payable to
Brigham Young They are both
kept by Gentiles.
"A family in Portland, Me-, have
q table which was brought to this
country in the Mayfower, by their
and while they lost, as
they thought, all their furniture in
the great fire, this table was saved,
and returned TO them, much to their
joy,
Every Mormon (or Saint II,
Salt Lake City who keeps storc is
required, by order of Brigham
Young, to have a sign which other
Mormons may recognize. This
sign ia an arch over nm cali seeing"
eye, with the words "Holiness to
the Lord" All Mormons arc com
TO trade at such stores only,
but many of them prefer TO save
money by trading with outsiders.
These stores arc known among the
irreverent Gentiles as Bulls shops"
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
GEORGE ID. PRENTICE.

The editor of the Montgomery
Daily Mail writes from Louisville
the following melancholy para4
graph:
Yesterday, / had an interview
with Mr.. Prentice. Ho is not tho
man he was ten yearsago. Indeed,
his genius is gone and his person
is mere wrock. His family is
broken up-wifc dead, ono son kill
cd on the Confederate side, another
settled on n farm down the river
and tho old man verging on three
score and ten, cooks his breakfast
and dinner IN bis liltlo room on
the third floor of The Courier build.
ing, and lives only in conversations
about the past. This man onco
welded an imperial power with his
wit and Ms music. Now, the world
has whlrlcd past HIM, aud he lies on
tho shore mere standed wreck"
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

SPANISH PRovERBs.-He is a rich
man who has God io- his friend. -
He is the best scholar who has
learned 10 live well, A handful of
mother wit is worth o bushel of
learning, You hal better leave
your enemy something when you
die, than live to beg OF your friends.
Enjoy what little you have while
the fool is looking for more. Say.
ing and dong do not dine together.
May you bave good luck, my son,
and q wit will serve your turn
Gifts break through stone walls
Go not to your doctor for every all
nor to the pitcher for evory thirst.
ThOre is no better looking, glass
than an old, true friend A wall
betwcea two preserves friendship.
A creditor always has better
memory than tho debtor.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
AGE OF THE PRESIDENTS.

The youngest man elected Prcsi.
den. Of tho United States is General
Grant, who will be AZ years old on
the 22d Of April next Washing
ton was 81, John Adams 81, Thomas
Jefferson 81, Madison 5s, Monroe So,
John Quincy Adams 5s, Andrew
Jackson over go, Martin Van Buren,
81, William Henry Harrison 67,
James X. Polk 40, Zachary Taylor
63, Franklin Pierce 4S, James Bu-
chaDan 60, and Abraham Lincoln
nearly 81 when they were slccJed
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
A Few Things That Are TO BE

Before 1900 science and art will
havo so advanced as to have effect.
cd complete revolutions in many Of
the industrial processes and meth
DDS OF securing health, comfort and
convenience 20 the human race
Vast gas manufacturers will be
found IN all tho great cities and
towns, IN which the invisible agent
Will bo manufactured soioly for tho
purpose of cooking the food and
warming the dwellings Of tho in
habitGnts. These works viii be in
dependent Of those established for
making illuminating gas, 1t will
not be necessary to purify the fuel
gas 80 fully, aud 1t will, IN most
places, be mado from wood The
cost will be so low, and the cou-
venience so great other kinds Of
fuel will IN q great measure be disr
pensed with. No ashes, no smoke,
no dust-what a glorious realiza.
tion this viii be At that time,
the earth and the seas will be full
of conducting wires, and electric
currents viii flow constantly IN eve.
ry direction.
A new order Of things will pro-
vail in our postoffices. The click of
the telegraph instrument will be
heard, instead of the snap of tho
lock which closes up The WIDE
mouths ofthe mail bags. The small
sum of ten cents (perhaps less) will
place correspondents in instant
communication with each other, 20
matter how widely they may bo
separated. Although tue industrial
arts will have enormously increased,
less steam power will be employed.
Electrical or some other of the hide
don forces of nature will be harness
cd to the primary moving wheels of
the great manufacturing establish
ments, and smoke and vapor will
no longer mark their location TO
the distan. traveller. The sick will
not be required 10 swallow DISCUS
ting doses of medicine. Remedies
will be administered though other
avenues than the stomach. Chem.
istry will have eliminated the vital,
active principles from all curative
agents and, through the cellular
subcutaneous coverings, and by
other atpresent closed doors Of ao-
cess, tho influence Of therapeutic
agents Will be brought TO bear dir
ectly upon diseased parte. Light
will be let IN upon nearly all the
organs of tho body, so that the ply.
Islcian can observe the extent and
nature of disease, and no longer be
compelled 10 diagnose in the dark.
Tho publishers Of this and other
journals viii perhaps bo able to
ssuo simultaneous editions in all
the great central cities Of the ooun-
try. A knowledge of practical
science will bo more generally DIFF
fused among tho people, eleyating
and improving the massos, and
consequently rendering them hap,
pier, healthier and better fitted for
the duties and responsibilities of
life,-7Boston Journal of Chemistry.
Tho Prince Imperial Of France is
a great velccipedlst. No one dares
L
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
JOIsING T5IE FREE MAsOxs.
BY A BLAcK.BALLED cAYpIpArE.

That Masonry is Of very ancient
date is proved by the fact that du.
rim z tho wet season Noah used to
hold lodge meeting in the corner
of tho Ark He was obliged TO give
up, however, owing to the curiosity
of Mrs. Noah, who, notwiLh stands
ing the fact that her husband pla-
ccd a couple of lions and u croco-
die at the door as outside guard,
camc pretty near finding out the
secret and starting female lodge
on her own hooS.
must tell you of the perlls and
trials l had 10 undergo to become q
mason. On the evening in question
/ presented myself at the door of
the Lodge.room. No. G6,666, sign of
tho skull and crossbones. ! was
conducted INTO an ante.roOm where
fvo or six melancholy chaps in
sashes and cmbroidcio cd napkins
were waiting to receive me. On
my entrance they all got up and
turned somersaults and then re-
turned to their seats. A big Eat
fellow, who sat in the middle, and
who seemed to be proprietor, then
said. "Sinner from the outer
world, advance" advanced. "Will
you give up everything 10 JOIN us ?"
Not if | know il, ! said. "Theres
my wife and fourteen fine--.'
Another party told me to say eyes,
rs it was merely n matter OF form,
so Isaid, yes, lgiyeup every thing"
Tho fellows in the towels then said.
"lis well. Do you sweai never to
reveal anything you may SEQ or
hear this evening to any human
being, or to your wife ?" "Pon my
word ] will not" They all groanCd
again, ard sud, rls WE'LL" They
then examined my teeth, and felt
my muscle, and then they groaned
again. l said, IF you don't feel
well, l'vc got lituo bottle here
that--'The fat men here took the
bottle from me and told me 10 shut
up. Ho then in n voice of thunder
said, Bring forth The goat" An
other fellow came up with q big
cloth to blindfold me. "No you
don't MIR, Mason, f" / sniu "no tricks
on travellers, if you please ! don't
believe in playing blindman's buff
with goat. Stand back, or I'll
knock yOuin!o smithereols. They
were too much for me, however, 80
/ had TO submit ard be blindfolded.
The goat was led in, and I could
hear him making au awful racket
among the turniture. l began
to feel that / was IN for 1t and
couldn't help myself. Three or
four then pitched me on tho ami
mails back, telling mo at the same
time TO look out for squalls. lbavc
been in !. socd many scrapes-I'vo
been in an election fght-I've heen
pitched out of a four story window
Two gone down in railroad
collision, and up in steamboat ex-
plosion, but tins goat excursion was
ahead Of them all. This confoun-
ded thing must have been all wings
and horns. 1t ,humped me agains.
tho table and chairs and ceiling,
but | hung on like a Trojan. i
turned front somersaults and back
somersaults, and rolled over and
over, ] was just on the point Of
giving up, when the bandRge fell
from my eyes, and the goat bounded
from undor mo and disappeared
through window with a yell like
u Comancho Indian giving up tho
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
"MOunt AIry,' for Sale.

now offer for sale my residence, famil-
iarly known as mount Airy" There are
but lew more delightful residences on the
Muskingum rivers high above all others, II
overloOks the town land its surroundings.
II comprises one acre of GROUND, beautiful
ly ornamented with shruberry and shade
trees, and fruit trees Of all kinds, furnish
ing an ample supply Of choice fruit for
family usej splendid dwelling house with
eleven rooms, cellar, stable, carriagehouse,
wood ard coal house, well of pure water,
cistern and other convennnces. Possess
ion given the LIST Of April.
S. THOMPSON.
M'Connelsville, Jan. Is, ls69-4w.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

It has been discovered that the
late Confederate Government had
an experience similar to that which
President Grants Administration
has met with in relation to the
Treasuryship difficulty. When the
Southern States set up business Tor
themselves the United States stat
utes ut large were adopted and put
IN force bodily, which of course inr
cli ded the acts imposing restric-
tiCa9 on the Office in question. In
time, Ir. Trenholm, one OF the lar
gest merchants in the South was
called to tho Treasury Department
and he filled tho Office for como
sine before his lneliglbility was
discovered When it was pointed
ont he severed his connection with
all merchantilo interest in the Con.
federacy, although he maintairbd
his relations with a foreign house.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

A late file of the Madrid Gazette
affords an apt illustration of the
ease aud rapidty with which tho
revolution IN Spain was accomplish
cd. On the 29th of September tho
Gazette appeared, as usual, with
tho royal arms at the hoad Of Tho
first page, and containing an Off
clal announcement that Her Ma
jesty, the Queen, with her august
family, was still at San Sebastian,
and that their "royhl health" was
excellent. The next morning, with
out the interruption Of n single day
tho Gazette appeared, with tho roy
al arms displaced by those adopted
by the revolutionary Junta, aud
not word regarding tho health OF
"Her August Majesty" Nothing
could more strikingly illustrate tho
suddenness and eompletnoss of the
collapse of the las. Bourbon throne
of Europy.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

MoNET.-"Money," says the Ma
ton, ais rapidly growing to be q
solitary social test at once tho cor
Ter stone and coping Of that gor-
geous edIfce which is known as our
best society. We DO not at all 10.
quire whether man or woman IS
yirtnous OF cultivated IN order 10
admit them TO the sacred circles OF
our elite, but onlyii they arc rich
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

Prompt and careful attention given to
the sale Of country produce. All paokag es
should be maeked as TO the kind and qua u
.ity IN the owners name, on every box or
barrelj also, advise by mail as to shipm, Mt
with any special instructions. Our ter MS
are five per cent on sales, including &c "
eanment tax and storage. Flour and grf in
sold on arrival asper Agreement
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
J. Y. 4 Fin. 4. HANNA,
Gallery of Art.
w, q. TREsrZE

W. - he6oA6 A6Aa
asks the p1bllc 10 call and examine his
specimen Photographs, Ferrotypes, Am
brotypes, Gems, &C., Gc., which cannot be
surpassed anywhere. lie has perfected az
rGngements whereby any one can be &C
csmodsted with the finest Of oil Paintings
and pictures OF India Ink Work. Rooms
ever Boone's suddler Shop, in j. G. Stones
building, Center Street, M'ConnelsYille,
Ohio.
Jan lily.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
A CARD.

A clergyman, while residing in South
Aaerica as a missionary, discovered safe
and simple remedy for the cure Of Nervous
Weakness, Early Decay, Diseases Of the
Urinary and Seminel organs, aud the
whole train Of disorders brought on by
baEeiul ard vicious habits. Great num-
bers have teen cured by this noble RENE
dy. Prompted by desire 10 benefit the
afflicted aud unfortunate, | will send the
recipe for preparing and using this medi.
cine, in a sealed envelope, to any one
who needs II, Free OF Charge.
Address. ..HT
JOSEPH T.INMAN,
Station ID. Bible Honse,
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
s. f. WILLIAMSON,

dealer in
CLOCKS, WATCHES, and JEwELRY,
MConnclsville, Ohio,
SOLE AGENTS for the sale Of these
PERFgcTED sPEcrAcLEs,
from whom only, they can be procured.
I'VE EMPLOY NO PFDLARS.
Dec. l1-lSGS-lY.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
PERFECT SIGHT can only be 90
tained by using
PERFECT sPECTACLEs,
the difficulty Of procuring which IS
WELL KNOWN.

Messrs. LAZARUS & MORRIS, ocu.
lists and Opticians, Hartford, Conn,
Manufacturers of the Celebrated PER
FECTED SPECTACLES, have after
years of experience, experiment and
the'crection Of costly machinery, been
euabled to produce that grand doside-
ratum,
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19

Tho Prince Imperial Of France is
a great velocipedist No one dares
20 beat him in rucc.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
PERFECT sPECTACLEs,

which have been sold with unlimited
satisfaction to the weaaers in Massa-
chusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut,
New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, New
York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Nova
Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Ed
wards Island, and Dominion of Cana
da, during the past nine years.
These celebrated spectacies never
tire the eye, and last many years with
out change.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-03-19
. c. MORRISON. BANUEL DEyoL.
(Late of Coal Run, ohio.)
DIORRIsON s. DEYOH,

Produce and General Commission Nor
chants and dealers in Grain, Flour, and a II
kinds Of Farm Products, NO. rs Water
Street, Pittsburg, Pa.