The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-15
CITY ToPIos.

change is wanted, don't keep one standing fifteen
or twenty minutes while b. dives into six or eighi
pockets for an extra nj kel, shuts the door after
ward, and when you pull the strap, takes pains to
stop the stern OF his four-wheeled craft at the
crossing. Lamsntsbly few indeed are such as he,
and fae species is daily dying out under the com
bin,sd influences of constant annoyance from tan
iizing juveniles who cut behind, Of irritation
from querulous passengers or refractory mules,
of seeplessness, rain, cold and exposure.
The melancholy csr-driver Is absent-minded-
very. He keeps looking over the dashboard, ap-
psreHtly watching the shiny track as 1t disap-
pears under the car, but In reality wishing he
were able TO be passenger, and ride home every
day in style, letting the Internal old car go on
about its business. long as it carried him to his
destination. He is o man of some sense, very
often-say, OF five cents. he Eliminates, and
schemes and ponders there On his little platform
prison, up forward, until it sometimes takes two
OF three bell jingles to recall him to the world OF
business. Then he seizes his whip, and lashes
away mechanically at the mule for few minutes,
until the inevitable reveris comes back again
only TO be broken by that everlasting bell.
The irascible GARDINER is a shocking illustra-
,,,,,, ,y, -. ny an eVII t5In-
per, aggravated by circumstances, may come TO.
II you don't want to take bundle OF tickets In
change he growls like bull dog; If you pull the
strap violently. he scowls at you through the win
dow, hard enough to make the glass fall out; If q
mischievous urchn tantsliEes him by jumping on
the hind step, he watches him with the eye Of q
lynx and suddenly, while the youngster isntlook-
ing, throws down the reins, slides open the for
ward door, rushes like mailman, lash In hand,
through the car, and winds up the vain endeayor
| by muttered malediction on all street boys.
Passengers, as a general thing, don't admire this
| kind of a driver.
Then, last OF all, we have the punotlious driverl
| He is one who watches you jealousy II you get in
with halfsmoked Havana aecreted in your hand |;
i who won't stop anywhere but on the crossing,
| even though you have to wade through mud and
| In q pelting rain to get to the car /; who points
menacingly to the notice, mix, fowls, etc., not
| allowed In this car" whenever any market women
| get in with baskets; who turns bis brake In one
| time and so many motions in true military style,
and bangs the door TO after one enters or alights
ss if the prosperity Of the company depended
| upon it.
There is something to admire 10 this jehu. He
would make good soldier, and ten to one has car
ried bis musket.
| Now, reader, II you are in the habit Of riding
about In the street cars, note what we have said
| and see whether the classification il correct or
| not.
little incident occurred at boarding house
recently which was quite laughsble. Cuban
refugee boarding at the house is unfortunate
enough not TO understand more than two words
OF English-yes and no. At the dinner table on
| Tuesday the polite waiter addressed him with,
"Wll you have some chicken, and pork and
beans!" "Yes," answered our Cuban, proud Of
exhibiting his knowledge of the language, and ate
his chicken and pork aud beans. The landlsdy
walking in about this time seeing bis empty plate,
again asked him. Will you have some chicken
and pork and beans, sir ?" The Inevitable Eyes"
came out very naturally, and our Cuban was sur.
prised to see repetition Of the first dishes placed
before him. BE said nothing however, and ats
the second edition as he had the first, and his
plate was again empty. The courteous miss Of
the house, who had not noticed the previous
scenes, in her turn inquired OF the gentleman,
with one of her sweet smiles, If he would have
some chicken and pork and beansi EYES," of
course answered the Cuban; and lol a third sup.
ply of the pork and beans and chicken was placed
before him. This was too much; he could not
contain himself, and burst out with laundering
"Carsmbsl no ay NADIA para conner aquil" and
| left the table in disgust.
well merited compliment was paid our fellow
citizen, E. A. Tyler, whose well known energy
has contributed so much TO the success of our aunu
al fair. This worthy and liberal gentleman was
| called upon by the orphans, under charge of the
Sisters of the Holy Cross, aud forming in circle
around his Office in the Octagoual Building, they
| bonovad him THAR oaperoua bnp no ain
ing several Of their sweetest songs. 1t was an i'm
pressive scene, and only the heart OF stone could
be unmoved while listening to those little wsrblers
whose hearts were pouring out songs Of gladful
ness to one whom they recognize as Christian
and their benefactor.
How the reader would pity court reporter II
it were only generally known how full Of repet-
tions how gsrrulous and intermi1abls lawyers are
| In tte petitions, answers, etc. Hereunto an
nexed for reference and greater certainty" sand
your said petitioner further and moreover alleges
AYERS and asserts" and said illegal, unlawful
unjust, tortious, wrongful and improper proceed
ings are injurious to your aforesaid petitioners
said rights, and are calculated to do him, the said
petitioner, irrepsrsble injury and damages" etc..
dd infnitum are sentences OF hourly use in every
court Of civil jurisdiction in New Orleans. Per-
pend, reader! If you have matter which can
only be settled by recourse to Law. select an
attorney who believes that brevity is the soul of
wit; who does not write out his whole line of
attack ia his petition, ard who leaves something
at least for his brief and for the discrimination Of
the judge. You will find the costs less by one
third II you follow the advice Of City Topics. and
shun those long-winded leatherlungs who are as
tiresome twice told tale. yexing the dull ears
of q drowsy man.
Just above Carrollton Teuton wsg, who is, or
ought to be, descendant of mine host of the
GsrterSnss tavern. with sign board swung
across the highway, which bears on the lower side
the inscription, last chdnce"-for those going
up, and on the upper side for those coming down
towards the city. First Chance" The hint is
| generally acted on by travellers along the dusty
road.
Psncho. Of the Cosmopolite Exchange. near the
| Court House, Is reported TO have made $3.50 from
49, II.lf g. - TIT