The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1869-11-05
Last Words Of Great Een.
BY MARK TwAIN


to build up the most shining rspuia-
ton for sfability and elegance Of
speech and manners the world bad
ever seen. And could you suppose
he failed to appreciate the efficiency
of fcharactsristic ''last words" in the
matter Of ssizing the successfully
driven nail ofsueh q FsputatIon. and
clinehing it forever? Not he. He
had prepared himself. He kept his
eye on the clock and his Gnger on
his pulse. He awaited his chance.
and ct last. when be knew his time
was come. he pretended 10 think a
new visitor bad entered. and so, with
the rattle IN his throat, emphasized
for dramatic effect, he said to the SER
want. spin around. John, and get
the gentleman = chair" And then
be died, amid thunders of applause.
Next We have Benjamin Franklin.
Franklin. the author of poor Rich
ards quaint sayings; Franklin. the
immortal axiom builder. whs used to
set up nights reducing the rankest
old threadbare plsIitudes to crisp aud
snappy max ms that bad a nice,
vanished, original look in tkeir new
rsgimeula:s; who said. Virtue is itss
own reward; who saidy '.Procsastis
nation is the thief of time'9'; who said
Time and sile wait forl no mani
and Necessity Is the motheF OF In
ventiou";;' good old franklin. the
Josh Billing the eighteenth cen.
tury-though ih to say, the latter
trsnscends him in provsrbial origi-
nality as much as he falls short Of
him in correctness Of OrthograShy.-
What sort of tactics did franklin
pursue? He pondsrsd over his last
words for as much as two weeks, and
then when the time came, be said,
"Nons but the brave deserve Ihe
fir" and died happy. He could
not have said a sweetsr thing it he
had lived till he was an idiot.
Byron made a poor business of it,
and could not think of anything to
say st the last moment but "Augus-
ta-sistsr-Lady ByrOu-tslI Harriet
Beecher StOWs." etc, but Shakes
pears VAS ready, ard said. England
expects every man to do his duty"
and went of with splendid sclat.
And there sre other instances Of
ssgsciouS preparation for = fslicitous
closing remark. For instance:
Joan OF Ark said. "TramP, tramp.
tramp. the boys are marching"
Alexander the Great said, "Au-
other of those Santa Cruz punches. il
you please
Empress Josephine said. "Not for
10. I'D could get no further.
Cleopatra said. 1.-The Old Guard
dieSbut never surrsnders.
Sir Walter Raleigh said, "Exscu-
toner, can I take your milestone >
moment. please?"
John Smith said, "Alas, sm the
last Of my race -
Queen Elizabeth said, "Oh, I
would give my kingdom for one mo-
ment more. l have forgotten my last
words"
And Red Jacket, the noblsst Indi.
an brave that ever Wisldsd tomAhawk
in defense of a friendless aud perss-
cutsd race, expired with these touch
ing words upon HE lips-"WswkGw-
snWaDpAnocsscs wiBuebsgowallsWal-
lasagamoresaskatchewaD. There was
not dry eye in the wigwam.
Let not this lesson be lost upon
our public men. Let them take q
heAltby moment for preparation, and
contrive some last words that will be
neat and to the point. Let Louis
Napolean say -
"I am content to follow my uncle;
still I do not desire to improve on
his last worde. Put me down for
'Ze.e G'arnaee ="
Aud Garrett Davis: "Lst me re-
cite the unabridged dictionary"
And H. g.; I desire, now. to say
a few words en- political economy"
And Mr.. Bergh: Only take part
Of me at a time, if the load will be
fa.iguing to the hsarse horses
And Andrew Johnson: ST have
been an alderman, member OF Con-
gress, Governor. Senator. Pres.
adisu, you know the rest"
And Seward ''Alas-ka."
And Grant: "O."
All of which is most respectfully
submitted, with the most honorable
intsntions.
Publishers Assistant.
n -