Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-09-10

a Boston paper says that Mr.. Gill
more will be theEecipient of over S40,-
OO) from the peace,jubilee association
An Illinois hen PRODUCED a fac
simile of the eclipse, at the period OF
tot:.lity, on the surface of an egg, the
next day.
It is said that croquet is very apt
d to eI;gender heart disease and that
the most efiectual cure fer it is a
Clergyman.
A fond wife threw q bottle Of hair
remover at her husbands head, at
which he said: 1--WE must part the
dye is cast"
An old Arabian proverb states that
for ninety hours after a man has sat
tied his printers bill, no musquito is
mean enough to bite hfm.
Col. Utley, of the Racine Jo"rndl,
says THAT the only thing man rid
ing a Velocipede reminds him of, is
a big baby trying to kick off his dia-
per.
A Philadelphia Presbyterian, dur
ing the last five years of his life,
built church every year at his own
expense, spending thus far Sl50.000.
There is gentleman in Newport,
who rises early and plucks a bouquet
of flowers, and stands at his gate till
the first woman or child passes him,
and then presents it to her. He has
done this for years. -
A drunken mother i'm st. Louis
threw her baby out of the window,
and an old woman, passing, caught
it in herapron. Fortunately, nobody
broke the fall of the mother when
she followed the child.
A couple of fellows who were pref
ty thoroughly soaked with bad whis-
ky got into the gutter. After floun.
! uSiih dbout lui a lS" MI utcS oiiS vi
them said: "Jim, let's go to another
house; this hotel leaks"
If the hero of Charles Reads new
story is an oflice-seeker, he could not
have chosen better title. The life
long motto of every office-seeker,
with respect to every office-holder, is
Put Yourself in His Place"
After marriage-''Henery. love, /
wish you would throw away that
book and talk to me, feel so dull"
"a long pause and no reply Hen.
ry, dear, my foot's asleep" 1t is?
Well don't talk you might wake it
up"
They tell the story of young lady
of temperate habits i'm Portsmouth,
who was advised by her physician to
take ale to fatten herself up. She
bought quart bottle of the article,
and drank teaspoonful twice day
/ Ill IuUuDlSE Oh wafer
A drunken man walking along the
street at night with his head thrown
back, looking at the moon with
sovereign contempt, was heard to eX-
claim: "YOu needn't be so proud,
Madame Moon. You are full once a
month and am full every night"
An apple tree i'm Pittsfield Mass,
has formed the curious habit of pro-
ducing three sets of blossoms the
same season. The second set is now
opening, while the fruit from the
first set is nearly mature. The third
set generally appears in September.
a young lady once married man
by the name of Dust, against the
wishes o. her parents. After short
time they lived unhappily together,
and she returned to her fathers
house, but he refused to I~celVe her,
saying: Dust thou art, and INTO
Dust thou shalt return" /
The Buffalo Express says: Andrew
Johnson is getting his career set to
If the composer does his
subject justice, the composition
will be full of flats and accidentals.-
Detroit Tribune. Also of of turns
and Republican slurs: moreover,
up frequently at a. bar, etc
stc.-Chicdgo Post.
Everything has its use," said
professor to his class.
of what use is drunkard's fiery
ed nose?" asked one of the pupils.
It's lighthouse" said the profes'
or, "to warn us of the little water
hat passes under i, and also reminds A
Is of the shoals of appetite on which :
20 might otherwise be wrecked" t
An individual, the other day, went
0 one of the drug stores of Boston
nd called for a pint of whisky,
that he wanted to pat it on
ONE roots for medicine. He OBJ
aimed the whisky, and Immediately
aised the bottle to his lips and inn
ibed a grown PERSONS dose of the
rdent. The drug clerk demonstrated
With the customer for his duplicity,
nd was informed that it was for the
cots of his tongue for which he de-
ired the whisky.
A serio- comical affair happened on
he beach at Norwalk, Conn, during
recent storm. A servant girl was N
tung by lee on the forehead, i'm
he midst of the heaviest lightning,
nd, imagining she was struck, she
an home in fright and haste, caught
p bottle of croton oil and rubbed
Is contents over her face. The effect
vas remarkable. When the family
ot home her face was swollen SO
hat hardly one feature was distin-
from another.
"Give negro watermelon and
n umbrella and he is a happy man"
) an old Southern adage. 1t was GU ,
iously illustrated the other day
Did Uncle Tony, who is very relig- I
us, was seated i'm his door gazing at
he starry skies, when Mas John
anne along and remarked, "Well
Jncle Tony, the end Of the world
lasn't come yet" mo, Mas John,