The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-01-08
COLUMBIA, S. G..
Friday Morning. January 8. 1869.
Feminine Amenities.

Feminine Amenities.
A mans foes are those of his own house
hold and the keenest enemies of women
are women themselves. No one can inf1ct
such humiliation on q woman as O woman
can, when she chooses; for if the art of
high-handed snubbing belongs to men, that
of subtle wounding is peculiarly feminine,
and is practised by the best bred of the sex.
Women are always more or less antagonis-
tic to each other. They are gregarious IN
fashions and cumulative in follies, but they
cannot combine; they never support their
weak sisters; they shrink from those who
are stronger than the average, and if they
would speak the truth boldly, they would
confess to q radical contempt for each
others intellect; which, perhaps, is the real
reason why the sect of the 'emancipated"
commands so small following. Half a
dozen ordinary men advocating 'emancipa-
tion" doctrines would do more towards
leavening the whole bulk of womankind
Where they do stand by each other it is
from instructive or personal affection, rather
than from class solidarity. And this is one
of the most striking distinctions of sex, and
one cause, among others, why men have the
upper hand and why they are able to keep
it. Certainly there are reasons, sufficiently
fgaad, fRgaad, WhG Diier is the immense difSrc,,o11a,e ,oa
between the two extremes-the silly being
too silly to appreciate the wise, and the
weak too weak to bear the armor of the
strong. There is more difference between
the outsiders among women than there is
between those among men; the feminine
characteristic of eXaggeration making gap
which the medium or average man fills
The ways of women with each other more
than all else show the great difference be-
tween their morale and that of men. They
Hatter and coax as men could not do, but
they are also more rude to each other than
any man would be to his fellow. 1t is
amazing to see the things they can do and
will bear-things which no man would
dream OF standing, and which no man
would dare to attempt This is because
they are not taught to respect each other,
and because they have no fear of conse-
quences. If one woman is insulted by
another, she cannot demand satisfaction or
knock the offender down. and it is unlady-
like to swear and call names She must
Dear what she can repay only in kind; but
to 40 her justice, she repays in a manner
is hothlng very pronounced about the femi-
nine mode of aggression and retaliation,
ana yet IL IS eloquent, and sufficient for its
purpose. 1t may be only stare, a shrug.
toss OF the head; bnt women can throw
an intensity of disdai6 into the simplest
gesture, which answers the whole end per
tectly: The unabashed serenity and un-
hnchlng constancy with which one woman
can stare down another is, in itselff. an art
that requires certain amount of natural
genius, as well as careful cultivation. She
puts up her glass-not being short
slShted.and surveys the enemy standing
two feet from her with q sublime contemnf
lor her whole condition, or with still more
suolme ignoring of her existence alto
@ether, that no words could give If the
enemy Is sensitive and unused to the kind
OF thlng she IS absolutely crashed, de-
stroyed Tor the time, and reduced to the
mos! p!tlaDlo state of reimbursement. If
sue IS OF tougher fibre, and has had some
experience OF feminine warfare, she returns
one sIafe with a corresponding amount of
that moment contest is begun which never
ceases and which continually gains in bit.
terness The stare is the weapon of offence
ehos1 III use among women, and is specially
i"vorea ny the experienced against the
younger and less seasoned. 1t is one of the
;hslhctiVe arms native to the sex. and we
have only TO watch the introduction of two
SiiS 10 eacn other to see this. and to learn
now even In youth, is begun the exercise
winch time and use raise to sncb deadly
perfection. 'i' "'"uiJ
In the conversations of women with each
other. we again meet with Examples of their
perniiar amenities to their own sex. Thev
neyer refrain from showing how much tbey
are bored; they contradict fatty. without
me hlmslest veil of apology to hide their
f"deness; and they interrupt ruthlessly,