The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-09-10
9nttital.
THE SEPARATION,
dIrit attS Outttut.

dIrit an6 0uutut.
Objects of interest-Severr thir-
ties.
Poor relations-Ours with Eng
land.
The pink of Qm-)pertection-
Rouge,
= Well-handled subjects-Street
organs.
"A race OF sculptors-The Chip
Always.
Not a miss-A rich and hand
some widow.
"a bad sign--To sign another
mans name to note.
= Moving for new trial--Court-
ing a second wife.
$500 When is man out of date!
When he's a weak back.
= Bookkeeping taught in one les
son--Do not lend them.
The book whose contents rule
the world--P ocket-book.
- good way to find woman out
Call whan she isn't at home.
--Wanted--the musket and pow.
derhorn of shooting star.
- fashionable party is now CALI
ed La Daughtercultural show.
"A Minnesota editor weighs 642
mounds. A heavy writer, surely.
Music. says Auerbach, washes
away from the soul the dust of every
day life.
The best kind of pedestrianism
we know of, is walking into the alice
lions of an hour.
- The ruin of most men dates
from some idle hour. Occupation is an
armor to the soul.
Definition of pride by o four
wear old: 'W Walking with cane when
you amt lame"
Many men who pretend to have
grains of good sense seems to have
scruples about useing them.
The ST. Louis Democrat publish
es the proceedings in the divorce courts
under the caption "Casual Ties"
- A sentimental chap intends to
petition Congress for a grant to I'M
prove the channels of affection, SO that
hencetorth the course of true love may
run mooth.
A reliable gentleman reports
that an intimate friend of his has dis
tant relative who made such short
turn OH the velocipede that he cut OIL
his own ear by running his hind wheel
over it.
Shooting and killing is getting
TO be so common in New Orleans that
when a man hears shot he looks him
self over to see if there are any holes
in his hide, and goes on about his busi-
ness.
I'll cannot imagine" said an aid
erman, s''yhy my whiskers should turn
gray so much sooner than the halr OF
my head" "Because," observed a
wag, ''you have worked so much hard
er with your jaws than your brain"
"A lady having bought sausages
ola couple of boys, overheard them
disputing about the money.
E"Give me half" says one.
E"No WON'T" says the other. -,
"Now, that amt fair, You know
faint 10, for half the pup was mine."
The land lord of hotel said to
a boarder; "Look e. here, l want you
to pay your bill, and you must l have
asked you often eLough for 1t, and L
tell YOU now that you don't leave the
mouse ullJll Ou iittNO RehAN avs
said the lodger, "l'll stay with you as
long as i've"
= The Rev. DR.. Chopin, OF New
York, tells a story about and old wag
who Thought he was dying, but who
was assured by his nurse that he would
not die as long as his feet were warm
such thing was never heard OF.
"But have heard of man who died
with very warm feet" "Who was he!"
inquired the nurse. "John Rogers
replied the incorrigible wag.
"A gentleman asked q clergyman
the use of his pulpit for young divine,
a relation of his.
81 really do not know" said the cler-
gyman, show to refuse you; but II the
Young man can preach better than L
can, my congreg CATION would be dissat-
lstied with me afterwards; and II he
should preach worse, don't think he's
fit to preach at all.
in religious excitement IN Bos-
ton a person met neighbor VINO TOOK
him by the hand and said
"I have become Christian"
81 am glad of it," he replied. "Sup-
pose we now have q settlement of that
little account between us. Pay me
what thou owest."
. mo" said the newborn child, turn
ing on his heel; "religion is religion,
and business is business"
"A couple of girls put bull-frog
into the hired mans bed to see il they
could get INN to talk. Daniel threw
the frog out of the window and never
said a word. Soon after he put BUSH
ell of chestnut burrs into the girls bed
and about the time he thought they
would make the least shadow, Daniel
went to their door and ratified it furi-
ously. Out went the light and in went
the girls, but they didn't stick, though
the burrs did. Calling to them, he
begged them to be quite; he only want
ed to know if they had "seen anything
of that pesky bull-frog; he'd give two
dollars TO find him."
L.