The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-09-17
HIRING A BRAKEMAN.-Many

HIRING A BRAKEMAN.-Many years
since, soon after the opening of the Norwich Wor-
cester Railroad, stout looking innocent about six
feet in his stockings, with thews and thighs to
match stood in the depot at Worcester, gazing with
evident admiration at the bran new" cars and
snorting locomotive, which had just arrived at the
station. roguish citizen who stood near him,
watched his undisguised wonder attentively, and
drawing near entered into conversation with him.
He was down from Vermont arter work, and
wanted to git charnce on one O. these here rail-
roads,
1Dos" said the other: "why don't you go and
see the superintendent
.sWa-a1 would eff knew whar to find him.
"oh, then, come along with me-I'm going right
by his Office
store where that demurest of all hoaxers, Jem b.,
stood like patrarcha spider waiting for any unso
phisticated human fly that might founder into his
net
"Ah ~ said the wag who acted as pilot-"there
he is. Here's young man, Mr.. B., who wants
berth on the road as a brakeman"
Jem was posted Immediately.
"Weil, l don't know. We've good many appli-
cations for the post, and, in fact, had engaged
man to go out upon the train; but as he Is not up
to his engagement, will talk to you. Have you
been accustomed to railroading:"
.'Waal, no, amt; but guess could learn 1t
mighty soon What's the wagesy'
"Thirty-siX dollars month and Clothes"
"Waa-L, mister, I'm ready, ef you say so, to take
Every well then, I'll send You out on this train /;
but wish to put You on your guard with reference
to matter and that is, there is set OF trouble
some fellows continually hanging round the train,
pretending to belong to the road. Some OF them
the cars at once-tell them put you the train,
and take orders or impudence from any of them.
As to your duties; when you hear one whistle,
screw on your brakes; If two alarms are sounded,
screw them down hard; and then when three are
given loosen the brakes for the train to go on. I'll
go with you and put you on the train. You return
here tonight, and then will see about your board
Accordingly down they went to the station, and
there the pretended Superintendent showed his EN-
ployee the brakes, and mode OF using them-leav
| ing him with a fresh Injunction to knock down
| any one who attempted to interfere with him"
Before many minutes, the Nermonter nad q
| customer. The whistle sounded, and on went the
s.What are you doing there with that brake p
shouted the legitimate brakeman Jump OF there
| in hurry If you don't want your head broke"
Jonathan looked at his rude interrogation "a small
| mani with contempt, but disdained to reply.
| "S-h-reei s-h-rec! who-o-ooi" went the whistle
/ and the new brakeman screwed away for life, unit
| snap went the chain
This was the cup too much, and off went the in
| furiated little brakeman for assistance.
| s.What are you doing there: asked the conductor
| who returned with the man, and stepping upon the
| car placed his hand upon Jonathan with view tC
summary ejectment. A b lief struggle ensued al
ling upon his back with the small brakeman's head
iammed between his legs.
"Come on, We darned heathins r. shouted iona
athan, now fairly reused" come on!' I'll larn W
| to cut up yer didOs around me. I'm hired, be
Mr. hired me for this bizness, and eff dom
larn We ter tend to yer own it'll be yer stouterr
Ibe"
| A fresh struggle ensued between our hero and
| some half dozen others employed on the train who
had gathered around, and Jonathan was finally over
| powered, when explanation took place
and the superintendent store was sought for
but could not be found, the incorrgible wag had
| not been so incautious as to make the engagement
in his own store and although he was strongly sus
pected as being the author Of the too practical joke
| no proof could be had. for by shrewd management
of the muscles of his face, and cool assurance aided
by different dress, he succeeded in arguing iona
than out of his suspicion the latter having charged
him with the hoax. The best part of the joke wa
| the denOuement. The actual superintendent hear
ing of the affair, and of the indOmitable pluck dis
| PLAYED by the Vermonter sent for him.. and did &C
tually engage him. and it is said that he now salts
sactorily fills an important post upon one of thu
| great western roads.