The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-02-26

yhv do birds In their little nests agreeE De-
cause they'd fall out n they didn't Ha
TINA poli,cness Is perfect ease and freedom. IL
amply consists In treating others ss you love 70
DO treated yourself.
Tn. hardest thing TO hold In the world u an an
ru, tongue. Il beats rci smoothing iron and
kicking horse. 90
VIVA, \. that which the rich man wants,the poor
man has. the miser spends. and the spendthrin
sayesp Nothing.
nald.beaded men take . joke moro easily be-
eause they are not at the trouble Of getting
through their hair ~.
A printer puts a C for an ii, and makes are
porter say, a locomotive went over aeow anu
cut her into calves
VIII a.Led old "ten-per cent what he wanted
IN accumulate So much money for. says ne:
.You can't take II with you when you die, and III
YOU could IL would melt or burn up
Not having heard from the debating socienes
IN relation TO the conundrum, "why do hens AL
ways lay eggs In the day time" n contemporary
answers, .'Becauss at night they are ROSTERS
y, meltlnr sermon being preached in country
church, all cell weeping but one man, Who being
asked why ne uiu hoa NoeP "7N' 's'
belong to another parish
An amorous swain declares that he IL 20 fond
ofhi. sweetheart that he has rubbed the skin
from his nose by kissing her shadow on the wall.
Ahopeless case that.
London merchant recently advertised for .
clerk who could shear confinement" He re-
reiyed an answer nom one who had been up
wards OF seven years In Jail. OF course he was
eligible.
A wise man rs well rs witty was Theodore
Hook when he told the alderman who had already
surfeited him and yet pressed him to partake Oh
another course-"I thank you, but hhi the
same to you wiz uke the rest IN money
IL Is not true, that the boot and shoe trade has
hesitaied TO subscribe TO the musical festival mnd
because there was mo music In their soies'' "A
member Of the trade proposes to assist Mt the per
formance, with fantasia offoot notes ON the shoe
horn.
N all unlind words were arrows, like needles
and pins, and instead OF piercing the heart and
ear, they few against the bodies ofthoseto whom
they were directed, the children In some mems
families would be like pin cushions, stuck COM
pleteiy full OF sharp and painful weapons.
young lady took her younger brother, a little
hoy of three or tour years old to the church. The
preacher was an earnest man, and spoke very
loud. During the sermon she saw the little boy
An tears, and asked him what was the matterE He
sobbe,i out: THAT man Is holering at me-"
The most agreeable OF all companions Is sim
pie, frank man, without any high pretensions 10
an oppressive greatness; one who loves hie' and
understands the use oft; obliging alike Mali
hours; above all of golden temper, and stead
fast as M anchor. For such q one we gladly ex'
change the greatest genius, the most brilliant w.t.
the proloundest thinker.
"Abinaiech, my son,' said the father solemnly,
NJ his son came In to dinner, 'Bimalech, have you
been TO meeting" "Yes, sir, said Bimslech stout
ly, "rye been to the Universaller!" swell, my
son, air; like good many fathers, that don't
want their children 10 20 anywhere but just
where they say. No, my son, ainf one OF those.
federation l. my mOtto-iargest liberty and all
that, that our fathers 1T and died for. Yes, my
son, 10 where you please 10 meeting; don't
care: only this win say, that II catch you go
ing 10 the Uniycrsallers again III take your hide
on