The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-18
HEADS EXPERIENCE IN WANING
TON CONTINUED.

PATENT OFFICE, Apl, '69.
O, Colonel still continues to be exhibited at
the above place as a working model ofthe only
man who has been In Washington With the last
six months who didn't want On office. lis handy
for Gen. Grant, for when he Is overru, as he is
every day, by these parasites, he forrs cham
gang and sends them up 70 see for iemselves,
with their own eyes, the greatest curicity outside
the penitentisry. have borne this beng gazed ct
with the utmost compossre; have listened to
comments on my fair form and exquifte persona
beauty with the utmost sang troid, (sng JroSd is
French for don't care d-arn!' have borne
everything incident to my peculiar s'uation win
perfect copposure and meekness unt the super
intendent announced the other dayhst models
are accommodating so fast in this dice that be
would be compelled to cell them & every 20
years. He is to begin on the first 2cyears very
soon, and shall have to be knocad down y
It may be sweet, yes, tout suite, to DE for ones
country, as the poet says but to be knocked
down lie 60 too much for good nature as the play
says. Besides. / have been "sold I" tines enough,
and don't want any more sells. II he superin.
tendent sells me with the other working models,
who knows whose hands might fall INTO? Some
body might buy me for use In front Of their resi-.
denee as tying post; or TO chew sausage meat
in butchers shop; or to test whhky to asoer-
tain how long it will take to kill; or. perhaps. the
government might bid me in on account OF my
tallness, and make lighthouse Of me.
Gen. Grant comes to see me almost every day to
refresh himself. He says, Head, you are the
oTlu man in Washington, sure, who don't want an
office, except Mrs. Grant, | have cured the cata-
rect in NY eye by lookiBg at you"
40 that's all in VOur eve. MIR. PreSD
"Perhsps; but can see the point"
"General-l mean MIR. President would like
to have some ,ther berth this don't pay"
"Ant you getting good salaryW
"Yes, but neres no chance for stealins; and a
place that doft afford steelins is not the proper
place for q +" bill 4" man. I've stuck TO my country
like dose ofSpsulding's glue, and altho' don't
want an Office want sight ct the stealins."
"stesIins! Mr. Head, yop disgust me. What
do you mean, ir!'
why, Mr.. President. I'meai general-Ah!
Mr.. President, mean you sent ne up here and
kept me here and, sir, with all due respect, and
all possible exceptions, II Is nextt impossible for
man TO mix inWashingtou society month with.
out learning to niterate base fabrication Il don
| mean TO ssy he will learn TO leo, no) the
| second month he wants 10 deceive aid swinde his
bosom friend tie third month he is afflicted with
red hot "kleptonania.n UIook IN ths dictionary
| Why Mr.. President, II Diogenes hsl prosecuted
his search for an honest man 10 the city OF Wash
ineton instead Of where he did, he would have
used up ell the oil wells In Pennsylvania IN filling
bis lamp 10 find one"
Head, get out o! the patent ofte, and I'll
settle up"
"Gronted; give me my back salsy, the free
dom of The city n a snuff or sardine ,ox, bene-
fits a week, expenses to New 0rleas and cigars
10 match"
"Done!n
$50 am IL
/ have wandered by the ses-hat Shore"
many q time, but / never SEE 30 many
''bests" there as there are In Washington. I'm
shore of that A. HEAD.
P.S- The Young Mems Christian Association
in Washington has adjourned sine te for want
of q quorum. They had previously iade up the
number by sending to Baltimore A. II.