The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1869-02-11

"A new style of hat is callsd the
"Grant hat" We have not seen it, but
presume it has 'brick" in it.
"A clearinghouse keeper in Spring
field. is in the habit, when her boarders
fail to pay up promptly, of placing an ex-
ira fork at their plate, as silent lntlma-
ten to 'fork over"
An editor says women live longer
than men. Married ones do who sit up
nights waiting the return of a drunken
husband.
- One of the most curious things is,
that watch should keep perfectly dry
when it has running spring inside.
"A nan being asked as he lay summing
himself in the grass, what was the height
of his ambition: "To marry rich. Wild
ow with bad cough"
An uncle, by his will, left his nephew
eleven silver spoons, adding, cit have
not left him the dozen, he knows the rea.
SON." The fact was, the nephew had
some time before stolen spoon from the
uncle.
"A Western editor, whose subscribers
complained of his not giving them news
enough for their money, told them that II
they could not find news enough in the pa
per, they had better read the Bible, which
he had no doubt would be news to them.
Brownlow says that, like Paul, he
has "fought with wild beasts at Ephesas." "
If ne has, he has fought with his betterS
Journal.
A singular freak of nature was seen
in an Arkansas town recently, in the shape
of = man with three ears one ON each side
of his head, and a third-which belonged
to another fellow, between his teeth.
- An Ir:shman and Frenchman werc
to be hung together. The latter was
strongly affected by his situation, while
Paddy took it very easy, and told his COM
panien to keep up his spirits, for it was
nothing to be hanged.
"Ah, by gad," says the Frenchman,
sThere be Won grand difference between
you and me; you Irishmen are used to IT."
=" "My son." said the veteran at the
foot of the stairs, "arise and see the newly
risen luminary of the day, and hear the
sweet birds singing their matin song OF
praise to their great Creator; come while
the dew is on the grass and tender lambs
are bleating on the hill-side-come, l say,
or I'll be up there with a switch and give
you the cussedest licking that you ever
had p
- A gentleman connected with one of
the largest business firms in st. Louis, re-
Gently called at newspaper Office and
left 5000 advertisements. He said that
he had dreamed the night before that he
had done so, and he felt that he ought TO
follow out the suggestion of his dream.
An absent-mindcd gentleman inten-
ding to scratch his head in church, reached
over and performed the operation for an
old maid who was in the next pew. He
discovered his mistake whom he found
himself defendant in action for breach
of promise.
"A little quack doctor who was called
in to see sick child, looked at the child
felt it's pulse and shook his head. 81 do
not exactly understand the child's case" !"
said he, "but tell you what l can do; l
can give it some medicine that will throw
it into fits, am some on fts!"
A man stopped one of our reporters
the other day, and asked him what he con-
sidered the height ct prevention, Of
course he didn't know. 'sWell sir" said
he, Gin my judgement it is waking ncw-
" married couple at four o'clock in tho
morning to inquire if they want to buy
any potatoes"
= A minister was walking out one day,
and passed two little boys: one Of whom
made bow. AS he turned back he heard
the following amusing conversation:
"Why, John. didn't you know that
was Parson NJ"
eyes, of course l did,"
"Why did you not make bow to him."
"Why, mother don't belong TO his
church"
A gentleman remarked in a tavern
that he had shot hawk at ninety yards
with number 6 shot. Another replied
"Must have good gun, but Uncle
Dave has ono there that beats it."
"Ah how far will his kill hawk with
No. 6 shot!" asked the first.
81 don't use shot or ball either" said
Uncle Dave himself.
"Then, what do you use."
~ use salt altogether. l kill my game
so far with my gun, that it might spoil
before | could get to it."
A tipsy loafer mistook a globe lamp
with letters on it for the queen Of night.
II am blessed,' said he, "if somebody
hain't stnck an advertisement Oh the