Smyrna times., 1869-09-15
CHRISTOPHER COLOMBO


The following is from Mark Twain " New |
Pilgrims Progress" Mark, in giving a de |
scription of his pilgrimage in Italy, tells how
his party amused themselves, and nearly drove |
the guide crazy, at Genoa, by pretending utter
stupidity and indifference to any wonders he
had to show. He says:
The guides III Genoa are delighted to Sc
cure an American party, because Americans so
| much wonder, and deal so much In sentiment
and emotion, before any relic OF Columbus
| Our guide there fdgeted about as it he had
swallowed "a spring mattress He was full OF
animation full Of impatlence. lie said:
Come wis me, genteeImen come
show you re letter writing by Christopher Go
lombo J. write it himself write it wis his own
hand --come"
He took US to the municipal palace. After
much impressive fumblng Of keys and open
lug locks, the stained aud aged document was
spread before US. The guide eyes ,sparkled.
He danced about Us and touched the parch
ment with his finger.
What tell you, genteelmen! Isl not so
See handwriting Christopher Colombo !
write it hinself!s
We looked Indifferent The
doctor examined the document very deliberate
) ly, during painful pause. Then he said
) without any show of interest:
Ah--Ferguson-what-w did you say
| was lDC Hdlnc VI tue party WIN NlONO Nil9
! christopher Colombo? ze great ChrIsto-
pher Colombo !"
Another deliberate examination.
g Ah-did he write it himself, Or-Or how?
+ He write it himself! IL Christopher Colon
n bo he ) own handwriting write by hinlselfP
D Then the doctor laid the document down
e and said:
! Why | have seen boys in America, only l.
: years old, that could write better than that.
| MI, 4 'hrIsfn
; don't care who it is ! It's the worst writ
} ing ever saw. Now, you must not think yo'
t, can impose on us because We are strangers
Is We are no fools, by good deal. If you have
p got any specimens Of penmanShip of real merit
II trot them out and if you haven't drive on
l. We drove on. The guide was considerabl!
y shaken up, but he made one more venture
lie He had something which he thought woul'
is overcome US He said:
" All, genteehnen, You come Wis me
er show you beautiful y, magnificent bust Chris
fe tOpher Colombo splendid, grand, magnlf
Te cent T.
r. He brought us before the beautiful bust
oil for it tcds beautiful-and sprang back All
struck an attitude:
ke "Ah, look, genteemen = beautiful, gran
nd lust Christopher Colombo beautiful bus
In beautiful pedestal !"
". The doctor put up his eye-g gass-procurc
sir All, what did you say this genteman's nan
" was?
Its Christopher Colombol-ze great Christ
tt pher Colombo!"
'es Christopher Colombo-the great Christ
lc- pher Colombo Well, what did he do?
we Discover America discover Americ
lid Oh, re devil!'
we Discover America No-that statement W
lSe hardly wash. We are just from America ou
Ia. selves We heard nothing about it. Christ
pher rColombo-p'ea, ant name-iS-is he deac
Oh, corpo di Baccho 800 years
What did he die of?
I" | do not know IL cannot tell!'
ln- Small pOx, think?
ou 81 do not know, genteelmen!-I do n
ow know Whdt he die Off
Measles, likely?
p; 3" May be-may bel do not know-1 thi
1ur he die of something's
Parents living?
l a I'm pos eebie -
be Ah-which is the bust and which is the pt
by estal?
eep Santa Maria l-zis re bust !-zis re ped
tai y
uld All, I see see-happy combination-vt
l happy combination, indeed. Is this the ii
af- time this gentleman was ever on bustE