Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1869-04-30
Cory O'Lanus Visits the Orphans
l.h7 Hiuat Fair.

Cory O'Lanus Visits the Orphans
Iat7 u Fair.
Owing to my general popularity among
the ladies-which, by the way, had better
not been mentioned on account of Mrs.
OIL i have been in great demand lately
at the orphans fair.
The orphans don't live in the Ehst In
dies. s,Hf h
Their complexions are not dark.
The had the misfortune to be born
here, and lose their parents before they
were big enough to take care of them
selves.
Still there are people who think they
ought to be taken care OF as well ns the
East Indies.
These people got up Fair at the Acad-
emy, which is still going.
If you haven't been there you had bet
ter 60 this evening. It.I
= And take plenty of money.
Before the bank closes draw check
for $5, and get il in small bills.
If you knowanybody who will lend You
any money, borrow 100.
If your note is good raise all you can
on it, then go the Fair.
Not having taken these precautions
myself, before going to the Fair, fell
short of what was expected of me, and l
am afraid l have suffered in popularity.
This lie grand.
To get out of describing it | may say it
beggars description.
And anybody who goes into it.
| thought of buying something for the
children, just to encourage the noble
ladies who have worked so hard to get up
and run the affair.
/ didn't buy thing.
But left every blessed cent had be-
hind me.
If You want to know how it was, go
there and see.
Just as / got inside my attention was
called to six hundred dollar shaw pre-
sented by ex-Secretary of the Treasury,
the Hon. A. 7. Stewart, of New York.
Mrs. Hooley, who had charge of 1t,
wanted me to take three dollar chance
in a rsffle for that shawl.
Thinking over the possible result, de-
clined.
Suppose I won that shawl, should
have to take it home to Mrs. O'Lanus.
Then she would want FIVE hundred
dollar dress to match it, fifty dollar lace
collar, a thirty dollar pair of boots, and
other things in proportion.
Which, not being Water Commits
sioner, can't afford.
Having escaped the shawl, / was
stopped by brother Corr, who wanted me
to take chance in a copy of Burns
works, to be raffled for OH the spot.
asked him if he knew who be was
talking to.
The idea OF q newspaper man paying
for books
Being a MIN l got rid of him easy
enough and was beginning to look round;
but like a young bear just entering on
life, my trials we're to come.
Two young ladies', who might have
been mistaken for reporters for the Reo'
olution, bore down upon me with books
and pencils, as though they we're going
to take down my name for publication as
n distinguished visitor whose presence
honored the occasion.
Such was not much the case.
Their pursuits was not pecuniary nor
literary.
One wanted to put me down for q
chance in silver cream pitcher-only
dollar.
The other lad just one share in wax
doll with revolving eyes-only fifty cents.
Paid the money like man, and went
on.
Got about six feet further into the Fair,
when two more young ladies stopped the
wav.
One of them had such a bee utiful
embroidered smoking cap, that would
Just fit me Tor any other mani Wouldn't
/ take chance-only seventy five cents.
"My dear" said /, speaking quite ps-
ternally, :" / don't smoke"
"Well, if you should win it, and don't
want it, you can give 1t back to the Far.
We'll take i"
With this generous assurance shelled
out seventy-fve cents.
A little further on, six damsels came
at me all at once; each had a book and
something to rsffle.
As they ell talked at once, ] hadn't the
slightest idea what the several articles
we're; but they each wanted twenty-five
cents.
Gave one of them dollar.
She said she was sorry she hadn't any
change; but she would put me down for
four chances, which would be all the
same.
Got clear Of this party, but hadn't time
to look at nything before another yonng
lady came up and wanted to enroll me
for chance in velvet pincushion.
Only fifty cents.
Took chance.
Alss more chances in china lap-dog,
n pair of coal scuttles, a black walnut ice
pitcher, silver plated afghan, an India
rubber tea set, aad several other things
| cant remember.
The velocity with which these young
ladies empty your pockets makes your
head swim.
Presently saw Phil GrogAn and bore
down en- him as a means of rescue.
felt rather faint and asked him. as
The most likely person to know, if there
were any refreshments to be had.
"Yes," said be, "plenty Of oysters
back there. Stews twenty-five cents q
chance, ten chances, and the man who
| wins eats the stew"