The weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1869-18??, 1869-09-01

From N. Y. Corr. MO0lle Register.
That Horrible Chicago Will the Wo-
men read this Story ?-Worse than
Chronic Mother in .Law-The
Heartrending Experience of
Lawyer-How they Marry
In the Garden City of
the West.
1 think I remarked in my last letter that 1
once met Chicago lawyer who warmly ad-
vocated marriage, and who explained to me
his reason tor so doing. For such man to
do such thing was, to say the least, surpri-
sing. l listened with breathless interest
while he gave me brief history of his ex-
perience during the first ten years Of his res
idence in that celebrated city.
Said he: II first came to Chicago fifteen
years ago Then was young and innocent,
which it is hardly necessary for me to say
that am not at present. had friend
living here whom L had known while he
resided in New York, and conducted HIM
self like a civilized man in civilized COM
munity. As he had written to me to visit
himself and his wife when L came to Chica-
90, remembered the invitation when did
visit that city, and Immediately on my ar
rival proceeded to his house. He was not
at home Just at that moment, so 1 asked to
see his wife, whom had known only year
before in New York. In answer to my in
quiry for Mrs. De Worse, a pretty, black
eyed girl came into the drawing room and
received me quite warmly.
"Well, we chatted very pleasantly togeth-
er until my friend came in, and really felt
myself beginning to experience very affec-
tionate impulse towards her, supposing of
course she was his neice or cousin, or uncle
or something of that sort But in the course
of the evening asked him whether his wife
was at home, and if so, when he proposed
to let me see her.
ITO my establishment, he replied, This
lady is Mrs. De worse! thought you were
already aware of the fact
"Of course blushed and felt horribly un-
comfortable, and said that was not aware
that he had lost poor Emily.
"'Oh,' said he, Emily is very well, and
has married partner of NINE We were
divorced, you know, about six months ago,
and married my present wife only last
week.
"Well didn't feel quite 50 affectionate
toward her after that, for 1 had been warm
ly attached to Emily; but we said no more
about the matter, and l went away, vowing
never to get myself into such a scrape again
by asking after anybody's wife. I did not
see my friends new wife for about month
afterward, until one day met her in the
house Of mutual acquaintance, and in the
course of conversation said to her BY the
1nh T ocly ~ 70
band that want him to come to my office
some day next week9'
GO don't think you know my husband
she replied smilingly.
"'What do you mean p says /, getting
rather nervous.
why, my new husband is named Smith,
she answered. Twas separated from Mr.. De
Worse yesterday morning, and married Mr.
Smith last night
81 left that house pretty rapidly, and reg
istered a second VOW to the effect that 1
would never, to my dying day, ask Chica-
60 lady about her husband again. rhe two
mistakes I had already made, as to Chicago
wives and husband, made me decidedly shy
of them. But the very next day went to
De Vorse's store (corn, pork, and provision,)
and found him engaged in conversation
with terribly angular female, who looked
like compound of NewEngland old maid,
Western woman's rights lecturer, and an
Arkansas squatter's wife.
"Of course pitied my friend, and when
the terrible female had remarked, Il con-
graduate you on you escape; that horrible
female would have exhausted any mans pa
thence in ten moments conversation What
hot ,bop lo
must beg you to speak more respectfully of
that lady; she is at present my wife-a fact
of which you are OF course, unaware, as we
were married very privately last night"
II never said a word, but fled abruptly
from his presence. Once more swore-and
went before notary, who had the biggest
Kind of Bible, so as to make the oath more
binding-that never, never would l speak
disparagingly of any Chicago woman to any
man. After that felt better, and for two
weeks avoided making any more mistakes
Sat the end OF that time, however, l met
the new and angular Mrs. De Worse, to
whom had in the meantime been intro
duced, having the loveliest kind of a quar-
rel with big, prize-fghting looking fellow
who was apparently on the point of knock
ing her down. OF course flew to her res
cue, and demanded to know of the fellow
what he meant; also, if he was aware who
that lady was, and who her husband was I?
To which he briefly, sententiously, but as it
struck me, irrelevantly remarked, "HellI'
II paid no further attention to him, but
turning to Mrs. De Worse, said: Madam,
permit me to protect you from that ruffian's
insolence.'
"Instead of thanking me, she actually
slapped my face, and said, 'rll teach you
to interfere between man and wife. That's
my husband, and we've been married three
days. It's pretty hard thing if wife
can't stop ill the street to speak to her hus-
band without having some idiot come and
make muss about it,
Now" continued the lawyer, "this is
not only true story, but it is fair exam
pie of the continued trouble that man gets
into who lives in Chicago and doesn't know
how to hold his tongue. Younow understand
why l hate the Chicago customs, and why
l go in for indissoluble marriages. never
made q mistake in asking a man about his
wife tlfc nIa~~ sr.rar.,
but here have get into more awkward
places and had more fights than can count.
just because no man or woman STAYS mar
ried more than q month at furthest.n
We drank weak lemonade together in
solemn thoughtfulness, and parted from
him with the feeling that, bad as it is to be
indissolubly connected with an unpleasant
mother-in-law. it is better than to be con-
stantly bothered by change of wife.