The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1869-09-24
GUSHING MEN.
From the Saturday Review,

| as well as we know our alphabet But we
are not so familiar with the idea of the gushing
man; and yet gushing men exist, If not in
such numbers as their sisters, still in quite
sufficient force to constitutes distinct tpye.
The gushing man is the furthest possible re-
moved from the ordinary manly ideal, as
women create il out OF their own imagina-
tions. Women like 10 picture men as mex
orably Just, yet tender; calm, grave, re-
strained, yet full Of passion well mastered;
Greathearts with an eye cast mercywards, if
you will, else unapproachable by all the
world; Goethes with one weak corner left
for Bettina, where love may queen it over wis
dom. but in all save love as strong as Titans,
powerful as gods, and unchapgeable as fate.
They forgive anything in man who is manly
according to their own pattern aud ideas.
Even barshuess amounting TO brutality is con-
doned if the hero has jaw OF sumclent square
ness, and mighty passions Just within the
limits of control, as witness Jane Eyres Ro-
chester, and bis long line OF unpleasant fol-
lowers. ALWAYS supposlng, that s, that he loves;
for. like the Russian wife who wept for want OF
her customary thrashlng, taking immunity
from the stick 10 mean Indifference, they would
rather have brutality with love than no love at
all. But gushing man, as jagged by men
among men, is being 80 very Iorelgn 70 tner
do see him. And they do not call him gushing.
He is frank, enthusiastic. unworldly, aspiring;
perhaps he is labeled with that word Of power
gh.souled;" but he is not gushing, save
when spoken of by men, who despise him. For
men have an intense contempt for him..
woman who has no ballast, and whose self-re-
straint goes to the winds on every occasion, is
eo hot oh a
disappointment aud less annoyance is felt for
what ia wanting Indeed, men IN general ex-
pect 90 little from women that their follies
count as Cf course, and only what might be
looked for. They are like marriage, or the
English climate, or o lottery ncket, or dark
better or worse as they may turn out, with
the violent probability that the chances are on
the side of the worse. But the gushing man
s inexcusable. He is nuisance or laughing
stock, and as either is resented. In his club,
at the mess table, in the city. at home,
wherever he may be, and whatever he
may be about he ,,si.o IS always sGa Plangng
his friends with him; always quarrelliRg
for straw. putting himself grossly in the
wrong, and vehemently apologizlng afterwards;
hitting wild ut one moment and down on his
knees the next, and as absurd IN the one atll-
tude as he is abject in the other. He falls in
love at first sight, and makes fool OF himself
on unknown ground; while with men he is
ready to swear eternal friendship or undying
enmity before he has had time to know sny:.
thing whatever about the object Of his regard
or his dislike. In consequence, he is perpetu.
ally associated with shakv names, and brought
into questionable positions. He is full Of con-
fidence in himself on every occasion, and is
given to making the most positive assertions
on things he knows nothing about, which
orka oh n
TO own himself mistaken. But he Is
Just az full of self-abasement when, like
yaulting ambition, he has overleaped hlmsef,
and fallen into mistakes and failures unawares.
He makes rash bets about things OF which he
has the best information, 30 he Gays, and will
not be STAYED off BY those who know what folly
he is committing, but insists on writing himself
after Dogberry at the Billiards on the
strength OF q choice hazard, and bats on the
losing band at whist; he goes into wild spsou-
lations in the city, where he is certain to land
a not Of money, according to his own account,
and whence he comes with empty pockets, as
Won foretold and warned; he takes up with all
manner OF doubtful schemes and yet more
doubtful promoters, but he will not be advised.
Is be not gushing2 and does not the quality OF
gushingness include an Arcadian Dellef 10 me
very pabuum Of sharks and sharpers; and 1t is
he whose impressbility and gullible good ma
ture supply wind for the sails of half the rot
ten schemes afoat. Full OF faith in his fel'
lows. and OF belief in brilliant future to be
had by good luck and not by hard work, he
cannot bring himself to doutt either men OF
measures; unless, indeed, his gushiness takes
the form OF suspicion; and then he goes about
delivering himself OF accusations, not one OF
which be can substantiate by the weakest bul.
wark OF fact, and doubling the soundness OF
investments as safe % the Three Per Cents.
In manner the gushing man is familiar aud
caressng. He may be patronlzing or playful,
according to the bent OF his Own nature. Ii
the first. he Will call his superiors my dear
how. and pat them on the back encouragiugly;
il the second, he will put hls arm, schoolboy
fashion, round the neck OF any MN OF note
who has the misfortune OF his intimacy, and
call him old fellow. or governor. or ret meus,
as he is inclined. With women his familiarity
is excessively offensive, and he gives them pet
names or calls to them by their Christian
names from one end OF the room to the other,
and mats and paws them IN all fraternal affec-
tiopateness, after about the same length OF ac-
ouantanceship as would bring other men from
the boying stage TO that OF shaking hands.
His manners throughout are enough 10 com.
promise the toughest reputation; and one OF
tie worst M fortunes that can beiali woman
whose circumstances lay her speclaliy open 10
slander and misrepresentation. is TO include
among her friends gushing man OF energetic
tendencies, on the lookout TO do her good
turn il he can. and anxious to let people see
on what familiar terms he stands with her. DE
means nothing in the least degree improper
when he puts his arm round her waist. calls
her my de. and darling in loud voice for all
the world 10 hear, or when he seats blmset ut
her table to write her private messages before
folk, which he makes believe to be OF great
Importance, and which are OF none at all; he is
only familiar and gushing; and he would be
the first 10 cry ont against the evil imagina-
ton of the world which saw harm IN what nc
does with such innocent intent. The gushing
man h ls ono small defect-he is not safe nor
secret From no bad motive but just from
the blind propulsion OF gushneness, he cannot
keep secret, aud he is sure to let out, later
or sooner, all he knows. He holds back no.
thing of his friends or OF his own-not even
whep his honor is engaged in the trust; being
essentially loose-lipped, and with his emotional
life always bubbling up through the thin cru-t
of conventional reserve Not that he means
to be dishonorable; he is only gushing and un-
restrained Hence every friend he has knows
all about him. Bis latest lover learns the roll
call OF all his previous loves, and thare ls not
a man in his club with whom be Is on speaking
terms who does not know as much. Women
who trust themselves to gusnlnS men SIMPLY
trust themselves to broken reeds; and they
might as well LOOK for q sieve that will hold
water AZ expect man of the sieve nature to
keep their secret, whatever It may cost them
and him to divulge 1t.
As a theorlst the gushing man IS forever ad-
vocating untenable Opinions, ana taxing up