The Portland daily press., 1869-02-27
Varieties.


AT recent lecture delivered at the Lyce-
um in c., Berks county, Pennsylvania
Professor x. stated that Saturn had ring six
thousand miles broad. "Himmelr Hans Zim-
norman was overheard to exclaim, "what for
finger he must havep
"A gentleman in Connections takes excep-
tion to the publication, in newspaper, of an
account of surprise visit made to him and
his wife, as he has no wife, and the announce
ment he thinks, will injure his chance of get
ting one.
The Mormons have to buy "Gentile but
ter" because their domestic article is more
like "wagon grease" than anything else, and
the "Saints" are in tribulation because "home
industry suffers"
The Ausland, published at Augsburg, is
publishing series of labored articles, entitled
"a Review of the Political Situation of the
Great Powers" In the chapter devoted to the
United States, the author says: "The Republi-
cans would surely have been defeated, had
they not promptly cut loose from their most
radical leaders, the men of brute force-Thad.
deus Stevens, Butler and Pendletoni" OF An
drew johnson he says: at was fortunate, and
of blessed omen for the devlopement of the
United States, that he endeavored to raise the
Presidential Office from its iormct iGsis ,.i1-
canoe to a digniied Importance"
Sol Smith wrote his own epitaph some
time ago, and this is its
SOL SMITH,
Retired Actor.
1sOf-1S-.
"Lite's but a walking shadow; poor player;
That struts and hets his honr upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
"Al the worlds stage,
And all the men and women merely Players"
EXIT SOIL
Our army found the words "you'uns" and
"we'uns" all the way from Pennsylvania to the
Gulf In Tennessee Yankee soldier asked
an ancient lady if she had seen any Federals
in that neighborhood. "Wen," said the dame,
"thar was some of you'uns over thar, cross
the road, but some of ws'uns come long and
thsm'uns got up and dusted.'
"A physician at Bordeaux, France, proposes
to prevent hydrophobia, by inoculating men
aud brutes with the poison of a viper which is
feared in the south of France, but whose bite
is not fatal. 1t is a theory worth testing, and
the French Academy of Science is now consid-
ering it.
The Rochester, N. Y, Chronicle tells this
story, which if true certainly affords as dra-
matte situation as any romance writer could
wish for: During Robert Lncoln's recent
journey. from Chicago to Boston, he got out of
his car, and while walking along the railroad
track slipped and fell before an advancing en-
gine. A gentleman passing at the time, saved
his life by dragging him from the track, and
getting up and looking for his preserver, he
recognized Edwin Booth. No words were
spoken, Mr.. Booth walking apidly away We
give the story as it is told to u.s."
"A humorous note, which an American
gentleman tossed into the English Channel
seven months ago, inelosed in bottle, has
just been returned to his address, No. S56 Su-
perior St., Cleveland, Ohio, U. S. A. 1t was
picked up at Worthing, near Brighton, Eng
land, after floating IN the water three months.
1t was covered with barnacles.
Celeste Lenoir was an old Frenchwoman
who died in New Orleans the other day. In
her youth she had been aUiraadiere under Ma
poleon, and had shouldered musket in one
engagement.