The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1869-09-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


DEARER THAN LIFE-Fasbionabl fun
erals.
as. T-1S60 ~" it is said, was suggested
first by an industrious effort to initiate
Treasurer Spinner's signature.
THE gas is reported to be so bad in Erie,
Pa, that the boy who puts it out has to
take lantern to find the posts.
JEHIAL SLAB says that a perambulating
squirtgun constantly charged with Tobacco"
juice Is, next to a barn-yard, the nastiest
thing he knows of.
IT is said that a dog, taken in its infancy
and held three-quarters of an hour under
water, will never be troubled with hydro
phObia.
a TIPsY Irishman, as funeral procession
was passing by, was asked who was dead.
L can't exactly say, sir" said he, "but
presume it's the jintleman in the coffin"
A COUPLE of fellows who were pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whisky got
into the gutter. After laundering about
for few minutes, one of them said "Jim,
let's go to another hOuse-this hotel leaks -
UPON the shutter of little shop in
Philadelphia isa placard reading thus :
"Gootweel and tigstyerS fur sail" The
premises have just been vacated by Ger
man cOrdwainer, who desires to dispose of
his good Will and fixtures
TO BE a woman of fashion is one of the
easiest things in the world A late writer
thus describes it. buy everything YOU
don't want, and pay for nothing you get !:
smile on all mankind but your husband !;
be happy everywhere but at home"
Two PHYSICIANS at the bedside of pa
tient disputed rs to the nature of the dis
case. AT last one of them ended the dis
cussion by saying: Every well, have it
your own way now, but the post norton
will show that | am right" The patient
was not much encouraged
GARNIERPAGEs the elder was once ap-
preached by familiar of Louis Philippe
with an offer of portfolio. "Were the
King said the diplomatic g0-bctwcen,
" to send for you to form Cabinet, what
would you do?" Have you been official
~ desired to find out?" said the politician
" Well, perhaps So" replied the diplomat
"Wcll, then, | would say: Your Majesty,
by all means, provided that you, sire,
would accept Il foreign mission"
REMEMBERED.-
"2ye You forgotten it? never CAM
How bright the Sky. how pale your face
In the wan light of the moon
Do YOU remember il Tor oh dol
The scent of flowers there
Was II the buds upon the trees,
Or the great rose in your hairs
Have you forgotten it? never can,
Something rSked that night
Something scarcely dared To speak,
Though my heart said right
Dc you remember it: for, oh. | do!
The first, the sweetest kiss:
Lit up your face look in my ewes
Ii was such as ths-;lDd this,
WHETHER time goes rapidly quite de-
ponds on the object in prospect A young
lady on her way to church to get married
regards every moment as an hour; man
on his journey To be hung thinks an hour
concentrated into every moment. The
young chap who is waiting for IN answer
to his proposal looks upon n week as an
age, while the man of 81 waiting for his
divorce papers believes every hour CON
tains full five hundred minutes. A hungry
man half an hour before dinner thinks il
will never come, and u dyspeptic wishes
time stood whole day. So it goes or
don't go, according to the individual case
in hand.
GRACE GREENWOOD tells story Illus
trating new method of curing those who
are inclined to suicide. The father of n
family, after two attempts to make way
with himself, at length succeeded i'm
shooting himself through the heart His
widow-an energetic, sensible woman
perceived that her eldest daughter was
inclined to follow in the footsteps of her
father even unto death. The mother
watched her daughter narrowly, and one
day soon after she had swung herself off
from an old chest in the garnet. She cut
her down, and tenderly brought her to-
Then, taking the knottcd halter, she
vigorously laid it over her shoulders
saying: :" Ill put "A stop to this suicding
IN not going to have it run in our family,
Ill have you understand" This treat
ment was successful in checking the
mental disease.