Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-03-13
Pat Maloney's Cat.

Pat Maloney, better known by the name OF
Father Pat, on returning from work one even
ing, was met at the gate by Biddy, his better
half in high state of excitement.
"Pat," says she, there's strange cat in
the cabin
+" Cast her out, then don't be botherin' me
about the baste.''
"Faix, an I've been strivin to do that for the
matter of tin minnits past but she is beyant me
rache, behind the rid chist in the corner. Will
yez be after helpin' me to drive her out Pat?'
ITO be sure will bad luck for the consate
she has for me house. Show her to me, till |
tache her the respect that's due to a man in his
own house--to be takin' possession without as
much as by yer lave-the thafe of the wurruld." !"
Now Pat has special antipathy to cats and
never lets pass opportunity to kill one. This
be resolved to do in the present case, and in
stantly formed plan for the purpose. Seeing
but one way of egress he cries out to Bddy:
Have yez iver male bag in the house, me
darint?"
"Dvil a one is there, Pat Yez tuk it to the
mill wild yez, to bring some chips this mornin' !"
Faix, and did, an there it is yit, thin. An
have yez nothing at all at all that will tie up
like bag, Biddy?"
"Troth an have, Pat there's my Sunday
petticoat-yez can draw the sthrings close at
the top"
"Biddy, darlint, you're jewel; be after
bringing it to me to wunst."
Biddy brought the garment, and sure enough
it made good substitute for a bag. Pat de-
clared at glance that it was Elegant" Hold
ing it close to the edge of the chest, he took a
look behind, and saw pair of eyes glaring at
him.
can is it there ye are, ye devil? Be out o.
that, bad luck tosyez, ye thaving vagabone.
Bedad, an ye won't lave at all wild polite akin
frusl hot %ha MI Ax, hou
yez any hot water?' ~
"Sure I've the full of tay kettle, all bilin'
hot"
"Be after castin' the matter of quart, thin,
benin the chst and we'll see how the baste
minds the like o. that
" How'd close, thin, here goes the stamin' hot
water
So saying dash went the water and out came
the animal into Pats trap.
" Arrah, be the howly poker, have i'm now,
Biddy," says Pat. It's nine lives ye have, ye
baste? Well now be akin me pardon for all the
thavin' ye've been doin in me house, for it is
not the nine lives will save yez. Biddy seize
hold of the poker, and whilst shoulder the
baste jist whsck the daylghts out of the hay
then dvl intrely."
Pat threw the bundle over his shoulder, and
Biddy struck about three blows to the tune of
" Saint Patrick's Day in the Morning." when
she suddenly stopped.
i" Welt i'm agin, BiddyP'
" Phat smells so quare, Pat? Sure it's takin'
me breath away, wild the power of it. Och,
murther, Pat, it's the divi ye have it the sack "
"Bate him, thin-bate his bloody harms off. "
"I'm faintn', said Biddy, "cast him off ye,
Patp'
"Och, wirra, wirra, Biddy Maloney, what
have ye done? Yez have mistaken a nashty
pole-cat. for harmless tame cat p
!" Pat, for the luv Nv heven, av yer convanient
to the dure, unclose it, for Pm perisht intirely.
Oh, Biddy Maloney, that liver ye should lave old
Ireland 10 be smothered and murthered in this
wayW
"Faix, the little villain bates the divil him
self; he's ruined me house, kilt Biddy and put
me out nv consate wild me ownself Oh, the
murtherin' bastep'
By dint of washing and ironing, and securing,
and airing, and the burying of Biddy's best pet
ticoat for space of time, things were at last SET
to rights. But not little recrimination took
place between them on the occasion, and neither
ever forgot the expulsion from the cabin, of Bid.
dy's strange cat.