Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-10-15
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

DOslNhhs men insure III tnc washington
Life. $780,
TuE ffttcst dover for a widow-A
widOwer.
" lady bids you take heart, you cen
probably take hers.
THE individual who is cOntented with
his lot proves to he a real-cstate owner
WHAT "a difference IL makes whether
you put DIR. before or alter mans name
DIVIDENDS arc never forfeited in the
Washington Life Insurance Company of
New York. -i,-
Why is lazinoss like moneys Because
the more man has of il tie moro he
wants.
A LANDLADY in Boston, IL is said. makes
her biscuit so light, that the lodpers can
see to go TO bed bythem. Saves Kerosene.
"TM ruined" as the old woman said
when her house was on fire; "but IL is n
cold night and Tmay as ,oeg aoai1u anyseif"
A MAN just returned from acontinental
tour, was asked how he liked the ruins of
POmpcii. "Not very we'll" was the re-
ply they are 50 dreadfully out of re-
pair"
AN inveterntc bachelor who was asked
by romantic young lady "why he did
not secure some fond ones company in his
voyage ON the ocean of life" replied az
would, If were sure such an ocean would
be pacific"
RoBERT BONNER did well in Offering
100000 for horse, but he Is not by any
means the greatest horse buyer in history.
Richard III. bid much higher price al
though it is true there was panic in the
horse market at that time Phtlddelphid
Press.
A SHORT time before Judge Fosters
death he went the Oxford circuit i'm one of
the hottest summers that has been rcnicm-
bcrcd, when his charge to the grand Jury
was as follows: Gentlemen, the weather
is extremely hot, am very oLl, and you
are very well acquainted with your duty.
Practice it,"
The anthracite coal fields of Pennsyl.
vanla undcrlic 40 square miles of ground
About $4O000,000 has been absorbed in
| mining capital, about the same sum in
canals, and $7O,0O0,000 in railroads, both
being constructed almost solely as means
OF transportation for coal. Nearly all this
| property is in possession of three great
corporationsi but there are also about 200
small companies. The coal sent into the
market amounts to about 100000 tons
per annum.
rupt rs to how he had spent his money.
There were about two thousand dollars
unaccounted for, when the attorney put
ON severe scrutnizing face, and cXclaim.
ed with much self.complacency, "Now,
Sir, | wantyou to tell this court and Jury
how you used those two Thousand dollars"
Ihc bankrupt put on a serio.comic face,
wlnked mt, the audience, and exclaimed /:
The lawyers got that y The judge and
the audience were eonvulsed with laugh
ter and the counselor was glad to let The
bankrupt go.
UroN Caleb Gushing spinster poetess
oil Newburyport once wrote an cpigram-
matte epitaph, as follows:
80. For in the ne 1t bed
kcpOses the body of Cushing
lie has crowded hie way
Through the wOtld, they say,
And, eveu though dead, will be pushing"
MIR. Gushing wrote the following re-
joindcr
Here lies one whose wit
.. Without woundlng could hit
Ana green grows the grass that's above her;
Having sent every beau
10 the regions below
She has gone down herself for lover"
INFALLIBLE- RECEmTs-To remove
trecklcs, cut them out with a razor and
throw them away. To bring out n
moustache, tie it to a strong cord, twenty
feet long, to the other end of which at.
tach n heavy smoothing iron, and throw
the latter from n fourth story window.
To get rid OF red hair, hold your head for
a lew moments in a strong blaze of gas.
To preserve your eyes, put them in n
bottle filled with alcohol. TO avoid
corpulencc, quit eating To conceal your
teeth, keep your mouth shut. To keep
out of debt, acquire the reputation of a
rascal and no one win trust you.
"DiD you ever see one of these here
hoop-snakes?" :" asked Mr.. Ferguson. "Me
and my hired man was down there in the
home lot by the side of the road, and we
see something rolling down the hill, and,
says |, guess that must be,one of them
hoop snakes coming along My hired man,
he WAS atccred, and 'climup tree; hut |
took any hoe in my hand, and went out aud
stood side of u tree in the road, and when
he come along stuck out the hoe handle,
and he hit itH slap, and he made noise
just like pistol; and, sir il warn't moren
mint atore that are hoc-handle was
swelled up as big as my.leg |"