The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-02-01

J
January ID, 1869.
The question, swat kin 1 do with
myself" is not solved. My return
from Moo York so ignominyusly on foot
wuZ q serious Disappointment to my
friends at the corners. They felt when
left EN- that they he'd me fixed for life,
and their sorror at my Ontimely return
wuZ genuine. Bascom, eZ soon ez he
saw me enter his bar weary and foot
sore, remarked, with profane ejacula-
shen, that I'd be heZ room yet.
am man NV ackshen. To wunst 1
called a meetin Nv my friends to con-
slider the sItuashen and to arrange for
he'd not lost faith in Moo York; that
wuz certain that that city wuZ my field.
l proposed that another outfit shOOd be
furnished me, the same eZ before, and
that l shood heV one more trial. But
they yOonanimously declined, feelin
that l hadn't suf1lshent control Nv my
own appetite for grocery keeper, and
that investments in that direcshun wood
be perpetooal waste NV capital which
| the corners Good not afford.
Various methods Nv maxim n Twin
| were sejested, but none met my ap-
proval. One would sejest this thing in
San Francisco; another that in Alaska;
wuZ the very thing. Their readiness
to agree and the numerousnis NV the
miles tho places wuZ away satisfied me
that distance Wuz the main pint with
them.
That misable wretch, Joe Bigler, hap
pened 1t at moment when they wuz
discussin the feasibility NV conduC-
torship on a street railroad in Moo Or
leans-eZ tho the directors of the COM
panies shedn't all got dissipated
nephews to fill rich, responsible places
when he remarkt that the obtooseniS
Nv humanity wuz one Nv the wonders
Nv the nineteenth century.
ekratic organ grinder, "saw of his
right leg, dress him in bloc, git him an
instrooment witch will play Dixie
THE Bonnie Bloc Flag and SIGH tOons,
and plant him on the sidewalks NV
louisville, Moo York, or any other
Dimekratic city, and his forenoon is
made"
'But why dress me In bloo2 Why
not in gray, eff 1 play Coniedrit toons?"
''Innocence! Didn't the Dimocrisy
always wear bloc while they wuZ
whistlin COnfedrit toons? Even In the
North they don't object to a bloc coat,
so that they know there's Confedrit
heart under It,"
"But," replied ~ wuzn t soljer-
wich is, only ez a draftid man, and
then only short time"
"That don't matter" remarked Josef,
"no more wuz the helt OF Dimocrisy.
The bulk NV EN- witch served, served AS
drafted men. Bnt that circumstance is
in YOOr favor. The regler Organ-Rrind-
ers, them wich wuz volunteers, put on
to placard which hangs onto their in
strOOments, words TO this effect:
"Enlisted July, 1963-Shot thro the
leg at Anteetam."
"Yoo kin put onto yourn this proud
inscripshon:
"'Draftid Sept. 6, l063-Deserted Sept,
80, 1S63-lost right leg with encounter
with Provost Marshels, October 10,
1852
"SiCh an inscripshun wood melt the
heart NV every Dimocratic passer-by,
and they'd fill your cigar box with cop
pers. WITCH NV EN- Good resist such an
appeal? Think Nv wat n harvest you'd
reap in Louisville when Breckinridge
comes home, and in Frankfort when
he's fnnogerated Governor nv Ken
lucky ! It's the dodge for you PArsOn."
l thot the matter over for a mint,
and it pleased me. The life Nv an or
gan grinder is by no means to be de-
spised. It's dreamy, poetical, con-
templative sort of eGsistence. Ez there
amt no manvoOal labor in it beyond
the mere turning NV a crank, am sat-
istied that 1t would SCOT me. Then one
sees so much NV life. Constantly be-
fore 700 Is "a ever changin panorama
y
when mite comes how sweet the rest.
how inspirin the likker, witch 700 hev
honestly earned by your manly exer-
tionsl
"Is it necessary that shel hev leg
nmpitated?" askt I.
"Certainlyr' replied Josef.
"Then declined" sed I. aside from
the pain, hev regard for them legs.
They saved my life in all the skirm-
ishes l Wuz in doorin my breef term
NV serviS eZ drafted man in '63. will
not part with one Nv en-"
"'rhis is tritlin with yoor friends, sir!"
calculated Bascom. "YOo heV the way
opined for honisL liviu. and 700 re-
foOse to walk ye into 1t. This cannot
be permitted"
at cannot be permitted !" ekkoed
McPGlter, Pennibacker and the rest NV
EN-.
"Josef, hev 700 sunlshent skill to
ampetato n limb2" askt Bascom.
~ hev." replied Josef, "ef 700 will
furnish mo n carvin knife and hand
saw. I've seen 1t done in Confederit
hospitals. Troo, the victims din't most
allus survive. Eff 700 do stand it, Par
son, think of the glorious life organ
grinkin is-et 700 die under it. console
yoorself by thinking how much organ
grindin you've escaped! Bring the
knife and saw, and somebody twist u
handkerchief about his Leg"
And forthwith they ceased me,
threw me onto the bar and tied me
there, and brot dull knife and hand
saw, and that cuss wud hev hackt into
my leg he'd 1t not been for Deekin PO-
gram.
"Joseph Bigler, "a said this more than
saint, "Irooly tell us, what are the chan
ces Nv his survivin this operation ?'
"About one in a thousand, shood
say, and that's why am so anxious to
commence" promptly replied Joseph,
sharpenin the knife vishusly onto the
sole of his boot.
"Then let him upW ejackilated the
Deekin, hastily ''let him up. He owes
me thirty-seven dollars, with intrest,
sence the second day he arrived in this
place, which he borrowed. Eff he dies
it's gone-ef he lives he may strike
suthiA that'll enable him to pay it."
''Slash away, Bigler !" remarkt Bas-
com vishously, "he owes me seven hum
dred dollars for drinks senoe he's bean
here, and II he lives he'll double it in a
year."
There was an animated discussion ez
to whether Bigler shood go on or stay
his eager hand. Fortunately l owed
evry one Nv the bystanders, and wot
wuz more fortunate the most nv EN-
wuz better fixed than BaScom. The
heft nv my Indebtedness to the others
wuz for borrered money, clothing and
sioh things witch man kin git along
without. Bascom knows that 80 long
ez live must hev his goods, money
or no money, and hence his desire
to see me either git lucrative employ
ment or die.
But the majority wuz agin him-he
yielded, and wuZ saved. THANK
heaven, >" exclaimed, ez L riZ "thank
heaven for debt. He'd been less hefty
on the DOrripF I wOuld now be n cold