Middletown transcript., 1869-08-21
How smith asked the Old Man.

| 1t auy Of our bcaux have the least difficulty i'm
asking the old man, they may find lesson as to
| how the thing is done in the following
Smith had just asked Mr.. Thompson's
daughter if she would have him. and sbo
had said 60 Yes" ~
1t therefore became absolutely necessary
to get the old gentleman's consent.
Smith said he'd rather pop the interro-
gatory to all of old Thompsons daughters.
and the whole of his female relations, than
ask old Thompson. But it had to be done. +,
and so he sat and studied out speech
which he was to disgofge at old Thomp-
son, the very first time he got a shy at
him. So Smith dropped in on him one
Sunday evening when all the family were
| out. tw
Chow are you Smith?' said old Thomp-
son, as the former walked in, white as q
piece of chalk, and trembling with confu-
sion. Smith was afraid to answer, cause
he wasn't sure about that speech Ho
knew he had to keep his grip on it while
he had it there, or it would slip from him.
So he blurted out
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it may
not be known to you, that during an ex-
tended period of some five years, have
been busily engaged in the prosecution Of
u commercial enterprise"
"Is that so, and kcepin' it a secret all
this time, while thought you were ten
din store? Well, Smith, you're one Of
them, amt your -......,., .-..+'F
Smith had been put out and, begun to
think it all over again, to get the run of it.
.sMr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it may not
be known to you, that during the extend
ed period of five years, | have been, busily
engaged III the prosecution of CONNER
cial enterprise, with the determination to,
secure a sufficient maintenance"
Z" Sit down, Smith, and help yourself to-
beer. Don't stand there holdin' your hat
like a blind beggar, with paralysis.
never have seen you behave yourself so
queer in my born days"
Smith had been knocked out again. and
so he had to wander back again and takea "
fresh start. . ...-s
"Mr. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
known to you, that during en- extended pc
riod of five years, / have been engaged in
the prosecution of a commercial enterprise,
with the determination to procure sufi-
cient maintenance"
"a which ance" asked old Thompson;
but Smith held on to the last word as if it
was his only chance, and went on:
''In the hope that some day mighten-
ter wedlock and bestow my earthly pos
sessions upon one whom / could call my
own. have been lonely man, sir, and
have felt that it was not good for man to
be alone; therefore | would" La4
Neither is it, Smith; TN glad you drop
ped in. IIow's the old man p
Mr.. Thompson, SIR" said Smith, in de-
spairing confusion, raising his voice to a
yell, sit may not be known to you that,
during an extended period of Il lonely man,
| have been engaged 10 enter wedbock,
and bestowed all my enterprise on. one l
could determine to be good for certain pos.
sessions-no, mean--that is-that-SIr
Thompson, sir; it may not be unknown"
And, then, again, it may. Look here,
Smith, you'd better lay down aud take
something warm-you amt we'll"
Smith, sweating like four year old
colt, went in again.
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
lonely to you to prosecute me whom you II
friend for commercial maintenance but
-but--eh--dang it-Mr. Thompson, sir:
tt"
:" Oh, Smith, you talk like focl. l
never seen such first class idiot in tho
course of my whole life. What's the mat
ter with you, anyhow p
Mr.. Thompson, sir" said Smith, in
an agony of bewilderment, - it may not
be known that you prosecuted a lonely
man who is not good for commercial
period of wedloek for five years, but
" See here Mr.. Smith, you're drunk,
and if you can't behave better than that,
you'd better leave. ,sr
Mr.. Thompson, SIR said Smith.
frantic with despair, " it may not be
known to you that my earthly possessions
are engaged to enter wedlock five years
with sufficiently lonely man, who is not
good for commercial maintenance"
"The deuce he isn't. Now you jist git
up and git, or I'll knock what little brains
out of you you've got left"
With that, old Thompson took Smith
and shot him into the street as if he'd run
him against locomotive, going out at the
rate of forty miles an hour. Before old
Thompson had time to shut the front door
Smith collected his legs and one thing aud
another that were lying around on the
pavement, arranged himself in o vertical
position. and yelled out
Mr.. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
known to you"-which made the old man
SO mad that he went out and set bull
terrier on Smith before he had chance
to lift brogan, and there was q scientific
dog fight, with the odds in favor of tho
dog.