National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1869-08-13
Job Printing
The Chip gasket.

which he went out. The constable
made the following return -
"Sightabie-cOnversable-nOn-e est
come -atable-swampum-stum stumpum
railo."
'IIow fast they build houses now,'
said H.; they began that building
last week, and now they are putting
in the lights Yes answered his
friend, 'and the next week they will
put in the liver
The latest undergraduate joke at
Yale College was the transfer. at
midnight, of florists sign-'New
Haven NurSery'-to a conspicuous
position on a hourishing young la.
dies seminary.
A preparation TO take the kinks
out of q ncgro's hair is advertised
in the South.
Prentice says that in his city STUFF
fling improves the fair as well as tho
fowl.
A negro jumped from a railroad
train going at full speed, near Saw
annah, the other day, but striking
on his head, he escaped unhurt.
A good suggestion is like a cry
ing baby at coneert--it ought to
be carried out.
Woman's rights-If she can not
be captain of ship, she may al
ways command smack.
Anotice of a recent steamboat ex.
plosion, in Il Western paper, ends
as follows: "The captain swanI
ashore. SO dld the ohambermaid /;
she was insured for $4,000 and
loaded with iron.'
Why was Pharaoh's daughter
like "a brokerf Because she got a
little prophet from the rushes on
the banks.
81 won't pay for steaks as tough
as these" said an angry boarder;
mo law can compel me--they're not
legal tenderP
What is the difference between
a matchmaker and .jailers The
one sells watches, and the other
watches cells.
Who wrote the most--Dickens,
Warren, or Bulwcrf Warren wrote
"Now and Them" Bulwer wrote
"Night and Morning." and Dickens
wrote GAN the Yeap Round.'
"Harry, you ought not to throw
away nice bread like that you may
want it some day. swell, mother,
would | stand any better chance of
getting it then if should eat it
now 2"
Said a Baptist to a Methodist: II
don't like your church government.
1t isn't simple enough. There's too
much machinery about it, sit is
true,' replied the Methodist, 1--WE
have more machinery than you;
but then, you see, it don't take near
so much water to run it,"
However strong may be your de-
sire to procure information, never
get it through a key-hole. All good
educational systems stop that often
sought avenue.
= If You and your sweetheart vote
upon the marriage question, you for
it, and she against it, don't iattcr
yourself as to its being tie.
Under the head of "BrOken Eng.
lish," Paris paper places svch
Londoners as get mashed up by
railway collisions, or who financially
= come to grief.
e "Them soldiers must be an awful
| dishonest set,r said an old lady, "for
!. not night seems to pass that some
sentry is not relieved of his watch.'
y n "Well, | went to Albany and
:, took dinner at u tavern. Right be-
!, side me sat member of Legisla-
- ture from one of the back towns.
y Before his plate was dish of pep
~ pcrs, and he kept looking at them.
Finally,as the waiter was very slow
bringing on the things, he up with
! his fork, and in less than no time
souscd one into his mouth. AS he
!. brought down his grinders the tears
q came into his eyes. At last, remov
n ing the pepper into his hand, he
II. laid it down by the side of his plate,
ar and with u voice that set the whole
table in roar, exclaimed: "Just
lie there and cool
- Soon attcrthe appearance Mad
:" anne de Stacrs novel, Delphinc, in
o' hch she il said to have introduced
y, Tallcyrand in the character OF al
u old woman, she ventured to ask lin
what he thought of the book
- "Dclphine,' he replied "that is tn,
" work, is it not, in which you and
! are exhibited in the disguise Of fe
=; males "
Florence Nightingale writes: F."
would say to all young ladies' VIII,
= are called to any particular vocation
Il qualify yourselves for II as u MAJ
{. does for his work. Don't think y0l
Ie can undertake il otherwise. And |
sou are called to 81 mans work, d'
not exact u wOinan's privileges--th'
- privileges Of inaccnracy and .
Is wcakncss.'
III An Iowa paper, intending to an
nounce that . prisoner escaped
SAYS: "rhe constable and prisoner
IN disagreed ns % which was the bes