The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-11-19

-Orsley.
I, who had to toll 80 necessarily for seven
ty-five dollars q month:
Although but little acquainted with
business, / saw in a twinkling the advan-
tage to be derived from my position, and
replied:
at is impossible, sir, for me to give you
an answer Just now. Return by I've
O'Clock. Meantime I win consider the
matter"
At "a quarter before the appointed hour
Mr.. Hardcash was before me.
"I had no wish for that house." said
l. "and did not even think about it
when the owner came and begged me to
will do as well for me, accept your
offer"
"You shall be paid in two weeks, in
paper on St. Louis" said the purchaser,
delighted with my promptitude in busi'
ness.
Paper on ST. Louis was 30 little &C.
customed to financial nomenclature and
proceedings that ! imagined should send
it thither for payment.
l accordingly wrote to banking house
not far from the post-ofhce, stating that
had certain funds to invest, and asked ad-
vice on the safest mode. It appears, the
phrase certain funds" has different &C
ceptations "on Change" according TO
the name and the position of him who
employs it.
The news of my inheritance must have
reached st. Louis. No doubt it found its
way into the Missouri State Items" of
the papers. Perhaps the mercantile agen-
cies became posted. "Certain funds"
situated as I was supposed to be, was Q
modest manner Of specifying considera-
BILE amount. At least I supposed 30, on
receiving an answer from the house to
which wrote.
They said my letter had just arrived in
time to take one hundred and fifty thou
sand dollars worth of Iron Mountain
Railroad stock just offered on Change.
If thought that too much, large profit
might be Immediately realized, as it had
rapidly gone up. A Postscript in the
writing of the President, who was an oily,
hypocritlcal financier, congratulated me
on my accession to fortune!
A hundred and fifty thousand dollars
The letter fell from my hands. The
amount frightened me. telegraphed in
stantly to my correspondents that SO large
q sum was beyond my means; that had
no remittances as yet from Helena, Mon
tana, and that was not then able to salts
fy their claims.
A reply came in q couple of days. say
ing that in accordance with my implied
wish, they had disposed of the stock at a
profit of seventy-five thousand dollars,
which was placed to my credit. They
begged of me not to be uneasy, as they
were aware that in consequence of the
troubles on the overland route (the Union
Pacific Railroad was not yet in operation),
remittances were slow from the West.
The prospectus of new German bank
was inclosed, in which one hundred shares
were secured for me.
Seventy-five thousand dollarsl Did the
clerk put in few cyphers too many? My
situation became embarrassing. was
overwhelmed with congratulations, par
ticularly when donned the suit of black
the black silk hat, with broad Grape,
black kids, black tie and studs, dainty
boots, ct ceterd The editor of one of the
newspapers thought himself obliged to
give a biographical sketch of my uncle,
and asked me for additional particulars. ]
was besieged with annoying questions Of
every kind. In what way would / fur
nish my house? Samples of cloth, grocer
les, etc, ETC., were submitted to me for
inspection. / never knew of so many
churches in course of erection that were
short of funds! 30 many public institu-
tions with depleted treasures so many
orphans who wanted fathers, and widows
who wanted husbands, at the impOver-
ished asylums, who would bless my boun.
tyl Missionaries told me narrowing tales
Of the poor children in Timbuctoo dying
of cold in the dog-days. Pews were ten.
dered to me in twenty-scven churches in
st. Louis and Kansas City. / would be q
second Peabody. would be the Roths
child of the West, the Astor of the Missis
sippi Valley, the Vanderbilt of Missouri
Lucas and Shaw were nowhere, com
pared with what my piles of correspond
ence made me. But / was ruined in post
age stamps and stationery. In the midst
of all my riches, whether real or imag
nary, had no money! Fortunately
from the moment was held to be rich nc
one would take cent from me. Every
body counted upon the honor Of my
patronage.
At last decided on going to st. Louis
Immediately on my arrival I went to my
bankers, who received me with all the
warmth due an inheritor of great wealth
az regret" said the President, "thai
you lnistrusted that speculation: for rail
road stock has again gone up. No mat
ter, however, you have some left"
"Will you have the goodness" said
"to tell me precisely how much all these
funds are worth which you have bought
for me?"
"The calculation is easy" and taking
out pencil, he ciphered on the back of 3
blank check for few minutes, and theI
said; "Four hundred and twenty thou
sand dollarsI'
opened both my ears andeyes.
"You say four hundred and twenty
thousand dollars-are you quite certain ?
Perfectly"
Not wishing to appear too startled, I re
piled briefly:
"That is well. You spoke also of .
bank?"
"Yes; the establishment of the banl
has met with some difficulties; but the af
fair is not less good. We are on the ev'
of terminating it, and scrip is well up"
OOuiu tllde scrip VIC oioO cOius
"Yes; and holding as you do, one hun
dred and fifty shares-one thousand dol
lar shares-which are tolerably up, yos
can realize thereby eighty thousand dol
lars"
Although as yet have paid nothing ?
"UEdoubtedly."
"An right, since you say so. Now,
would like to make q good and safe in
vestment of the whole, be so kind as {.
tell me what you think"
"You will need home here. Reserv'
enough for that, and invest the balance il
five-twenties, seven-thirties and ten-fortie
and other safe enterprises that will arise
and the coupons and profits will insur'
you nice income"
"By disposing of what have, in tn
way specified" said /, "what will be tn
net annual income
About twelve thousand dollars q yea
on all your investments which might b
| judiciously used in increasing it."