The union Democrat., 1869-07-10
sUsAN'S SISTER THE WEST.
From the FL Paso (Ill.l Journal.

| frVn tne u fASo kAii.i
! was sittin' in my Office, speculatin' in
j. nv own mind whether on the whole it
wouldn't be best for me to give myself away
for the benefit of my family, when there come
knock at the door.
There, saws I, is some one anxious TO sub
scribe for the Ell Paso Journal, ss l uttered
| in loud voice, "Come ir.'
| She was dressed in pair of store boots
and an iron-gray set of spectacleS, and she
walked up to me with majesty in her mien.
l knew who it was the minute / set my eyes
on her.
1t was woman.
/ gracefully arose and said, "How are you,
ma am. was you wishin' TO subscribe to the
Ell Paso Iour7aal?' at the same time dippin'
my pen in the ink and openin' my subscrip-
ton book. This. alwuz gifts 'em. 1t looks
| like business.
1t didn't get her.
She fixed her CLASSY eyes on me and said f:
"Young man are yew an advocate for the
holy caws of woman's rights ?"
mo, maam," said |, Pm a Presbyterian.
"Air you," she said, prepared to embark
with us over the sea of equal suffrage"
"Maam,' said /. II haint got no objection
to takin' quiet sail with you, provided the
boat amt leaky and you'll do all the rowin. y
| A smile perused her features for moment
and then she said, Il am willing to suffer for
| the caws.'
"Yes," said l, in polite and softenin'
manner. "It'll only cost two dollars, an
We'll send it to any address for an entire
year"
"Hev you wife ?" she asked.
81 hev," said l, wonderin' what she was
~ G. Khokr I In
ry you eff | wanted to ever so much" |
threw this in as soother.
"Air yoti willin' that she should share with
you the burdens and trials of life?
81 amt noways pertickler," said l, an
I'll let her shoulder tie whole of 'em if she
has hankering that way"
"Wood you consent that she should 20 to
the poles ?" said she.
"She can go where she pleases," said l,
"she ginnerly duz."
"Yew are a hole soled man." she said, and
throwin' her arms around my neck laft
wildly.
"Git out" said l, ''what air ye up to? /
aint one of them men. Stop"
| After much labor succeeded in unloosening
her hold and sit her down in a char. |
| judged from her conduct that she stood in
need of few moral observations.
"Yoo air an impulsive femail," said /,
"Yoor nature is at once Spontaneous and out
breaken. You need pair of martingails.
Consider what would be your state eff man e
wife was to catch you huggin' of him in
this style.
She wiped her face with her dress. She
had on dress. | forgot to make mention OF
this fact in speaking of her spectacles.
| 81 am worker in the caws of Women s
Rights"
"Yes." said T, "you air. Yoo ought to be
ashamed of yourself, l should Judge yoo
was one of them lobby women that the Chica-
90 Tribune correspondent tells Of But VOC
can't come your nefarious arts over me. I'm
steeled against 'em"
81 should be pleased" she said, "to 60
arm in arm with you to the poles"
"No you don't; )" said 1, in alarm, "not eff
have anything to say in the matter. l
won't 90 with yoo-not single darned pole
"Young man." said she, "hast thou chill
dren ?''
II hev," said I, "seven of em. Can 700
show as good a record?"
"Wood you," said she, shave your girls
grow up and be married to base, sordid men,
who would take away their political rites and
allow them no franchises"
"Darn the franchises" said /, in rage
''they are things that wemen put on behind
to give them the Grecian bend. Eff my
daughters ever go to wearin' 'em-"
"No. no. said she, "they are panniers." :"
"Well, said |. "panniers or franchise. or
I whatever you call 'en, | an opposed to 'em.
They are unnatural and humpy. They de-
grade the human form into the likeness of a
camel. and bring lovely woman down on all
| fours like a cat.
''Then," said she, "come with me and we
will emancipate woman from the slavery Of
| dress"
"Nc," said 1, with severity. 81 hev no
wish to take the close away from amy wo-
man. Wimmen without close would be sad
spectacle, particularly in winter, when the
bowling blasts prevail. Who are you, any
way?" asked of my visitor.
81 am pilgrim" she said. ~ belong to
the Agitator. a noospaper devoted to the caws
of femail suffrage in Chicago"
"Well, +" said, calmly, ''tbe wimmin in
Chicago need something of this sort. Where
them that air married never no goin' to bed
at night, but on waking up in the mornin
they may be divorced, and them that amt
married spend their time in bettin' how many
times they can be married and divorced with
in month The wimmin of Chicago need
agitatin' powerfully. Keep stirrin' on 'em
up, if you please. The more you agitate, the
better for 'em."
With these words l arose, and tellin' her
to set still till my return, stole softly down
stairs. l have not been back since. What
will be the effect of leaving femail agitator
sittin' in my seat the whole of this time, l
know not, but if she waits until go back her
natienca will he of cast iron.
A story is told of certain man and his
wife. who were almost always quarrelng.
During their quarrels their only child Ia boy)