The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1869-03-10
VII and Humour.

VII and Humour.
He who has bad ends. in view is
eretty sure to come to one.
A sick dog isn't generally strength
sned by q course of bark.
Many a person, who talks of laying
down his life, had much better elevate
Il.
The lady whose "peace of mind
"a broken, intends to have it re-
paired.
a woman might let her head be
cut of for her husbands sake, but not
her hair. "a
Every bird pleases US with its lay
especially the hen.
Tho sea is of the Quaker persuasion
lit has broad brim.
Let It never be said that when a
manjumps for JOY, Ibis delight knows
no bounds.n -
Put money in thy purse" as the
pickpocket said, when he robbed a
man Of an empty one.
When we hear a novice playing the
organ, we think the instrument has
one step boo few. y5-fp -I n5..
{ Daylight il wasted upon cats, diplo-
isaatists and owls, that can see 50 much
better in the dark.
The schoolmas.er's beat is less ex-
tensive than the policeman's. It is
confined to his school-house.
The music Of a good many perform
ers should be like the famous music
of the spheres-never heard.
There is but little difference be-
tween a pinch and a punch; it con-
sists of the difference only between u
andi.
We have heard much of the power
of q woman's eye, but the eye lids are
vsill more powerful; they a wink
down o reputation.
Beneath a blue sky, we long for the
pinions of an eagle; but, beneath a
cloudy one, we desire only q goose's
wing for writing.
Armies sometimes follow an empty
and putting general as the storm-clouds
fellow the wind.
Heads are excellent things, but it
il better to be a man of one good
head than a monster of seven.
They are fools who insist on being
perfectly miserable because they can
not be perfectly happy.
It is often a pretty good matrimon-
ial firm that consists of three-quarters
wife and one quarter husband.
II a lover finds a pleasant note from
his sweetheart stuck into his key-hole,
It is q keynote to his heart.
What is that which Adam never
saw, never possessed, and yet he gave
to each Of his children Parents.
You can't persuade a rainbow to
make its appearance on a clear sky.
It is resolutely bent on the cloud.
A poet seldom feels at home in a
ballroom. He cannot exchange the
music of the spheres for that of fd-
dlers.
You are disappointed when you
come home to dinner, expecting to
and a warm saddle of mutton, and
get nothing but the cold shoulder.
It Is funny to hear how the whole
household and its visitors talk to the
baby. A king in former times kept
one fool; every baby has a dozen
A physician once boosted to Sir
Henry Halfcrd, saying, 81 was the
FIRST to discover the Asiatic cholera,
and communicated it to the public %
Some one said to DIR. johnson,
"Sir, you must not believe but half
what that man says."-"Ah," said the
Doctor; shut iohtch half? :"
Light Pies.-A certain Iandlady, it
is said, makes her pies so light that
her dodgers can see to go to bed with
out a candle after eating q moderate
sized piece.
"A gentleman who had been victim
lied by a notorious borrower, who
always forgot TO pay, called him one
Of the most promising men of his ac
qu~aintance.
A young man adYertises In a New
Jersey paper for a situation as SON.
in-law in a respectable family. Would
have no objection, he said, to GO a
ehort distance into the country.
An Irishman describes metaphysics
as follows: Two men are talking to-
gether, and one Of them is trying to
explain something he don't know any
thing about, and the other can't un-
derstand him." l.
A witness being Intercepted as to
his knowledge of the defendant in the
case, said he knew him intimately
that he had supped with him, sailed
with him, and horsewhipped him."