Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-05-19
Gilbert Charles Stuart, the Man o.
all Trades


stage-coach with some gentlemen
who We're strangers to him, but all
were sociable and lively. The party
stopped to dine at an inn, and after
dinner, the conversation being an
mated and various, Stuart became
conspicuous in it, not only for his
wit and humor, but for his correct
Judgment, rapid thought, and apt
phrases. The curiosity of his com
panions was aroused, and with Yam
kee-like inquisitiveness they desired
to know aUho and aOhat he was.
Mr.. Stuart, with grave face, and in
"A serious tone of voice, replied that
he sometimes dressed gentlemen
and ladies' hair.
''Oh you are hair dresser then?n
returned one of the company, with a
somewhat derogatory stare.
What! do / look like barber ~
demanded the iacOgRitO artist stern
~ beg your pardon, SIR" replied
the snbdued cockney, but l infer
red it from what you said. If | mis-
took you may L take the liberty to
iEqulIs what you are, then ?p
why, sometimes | brush gentle
mans coat or hat and adjust his
cravat."
"Oh you are n valet, then, to
some nobleman ,"
"A valet ~ retorted Stuart with
mock indignation Indeed sir, L am
not a servant. To be sure, / make
coats and waistcoats for gentlemen"
"Ah you are atailor?''
Tailor, do you take me for a
tailor? I'll assure you | never ham
died goose other than a roasted
one.n
By this time the joke was begin
ming to be fully appreciated, and the
company were in u roar of laughter.
what in the world areyou, t. en?p
demanded another gentleman, taking
up the office of interlocutor.
II will tell you,n said Stuart, with
great apparent sincerity ;"be aSsur-
ed all | have told you is strictly true
Just cravats, and make coats, waist
coats, and breeches, and likewise
boots and shoes, at yO'tJ ScYrice ~
"Oho boot and shoe maker, af-
ter aln contemptuously returned
the questioner.
Guess again, gentlemen con-
unued Stuart, good-humoredly. 81
never handled boot or shoe but for
my own feet and legs yet all l have
told you is true"
I'VE may as well give up guess
lngS ii is OF no USE
The fun Loving painter, checking his
own laughter, which was on the point
Of bursting forth, and stimulating a
fresh flow of spirits by a huge pinch
of snuff, said gravely, rs if bringing
the matter To \ satisfactory conclu-
sion
mo, gentlemen, l VIII not play
the fool any longer, but will tell you,
upon my honor, rs a gentleman, my
bona Jide profession-I get my bread
by making faces
He then screwed up his counte-
nance and twisted his features in
manner the most skilful clown
might have envied.
When the loud peals of laughter
had subsidized, the company, with one
accord declared that they had all,
the While suspected that the gentle
man belonged 10 the theater -
they all knew he must lie a comedian
by profession But when Stuart
coolly informed them that he never
was on the stage, and very rarely in
side of a playhouse, their chagrln
and establishment equalled their pre-
NiouS merrimeut.
Gentlemen said Stuart 10 his
companions, AS he was about to leave
them, "you Will find all | have said
in regard to my various employmcnts
is comprised in these few words |
am a portrait painter. If you Will
call upon me at York Buildings, |
London, / shall be ready and willing
10 brush you a coat or hat, dress |
your hair u la mode, supply you, if |
YOU need, with wig OF any fashion |
or dimension, accommodate you with |
boots or shoes, give you rutlies or
cravats, and make faces for you.
While taking parting glass at the
inn, the gentlemen begged leave to |
inquire OF the artist in what part OF
England he was born. BE told them |
he was not born in England, Scot |
land, Ireland, or Wales.
Where, then, persisted the Eng
lish Yankees.
II was born in Narragansett,h
replied Stuart.
And where is that ~ /
Six miles from Pottawoone, and /
ten from Poppasquash, ard about
four miles west of Connonlcut, anu |
not far from the spot where me
famous battle with the warllke
Peauots was fought was the in |
slant reply.
I'm what part of the East Indies
is that, sir pa inquired a pompous
East Indies my dear sir 1t IS III
the State of Rhode Island, between
Massachusetts and the Connecticut
River"
And with this novel lesson III