Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1869-10-27
gHc Kan OF All Trades.

GILBERT c. STUART, the artist, was
travelling in England in q stage coach
with some gentlemen, who were strang-
ers to him, but all were sociabIe and
lively. The party stopped to dine at an
inn, and after dinner, the conversation
being animated and various, Staurt be-
came conspicuous in it, not only for his
wit and humor, butf0rhis correct judg-
ment, rapid thought, and apt phrases.
The curiosity Of his companions was
aroused, and with Yankee-like inquisi-
tiveness they desired to know uHo and
ar6Gt he was.
Mr. Staurt, with grave face, and in
a serious tone OF voice, replied that he
sometimes dressed gentlemen's and la
dies hair.
ooh! you are a hair-dresser, then ?"
returned one OF the company with a
somewhat derogatory stare.
"IVhat! do look like a barber?" de-
manded the incognio artist, sternly.
"Ibeg your parden, sir" replied the
subdued cocIlney, 'but I inferred it from
what you said. If I mistook you, may
I take the liberty 10 inquire what you
are, then >"
"Why, sometimes 1 brush a gentle
mans coat or hat and adjust his era
vat"
Cob! YOU are valet, then to some
nobleman %
~ valet - retorted Staur5, with mock
/ Indignation; indeed, sir, I am not. I
am not q servant. To be sure, 7 make
coats and waistcoats for gentlemen"
"Ah! you are a tailor ?''
"TaiIor! do YOU take me for a tailor
| IIII assure y0u InCver handled a goose
other than a roasted one"
BY this time the joke was beginning
to be fully appreciated, and the whole
company were in Il roar Of laughter.
"What in the world are you then ,"
demanded another gentleman, taking
up the Office Of interiocutor.
~ viii tell YOU said Staurt with
great apparent sincerity; 'be assured all
1 have told you IS strictly true. I dress
hair, brush hats and coats, adjust era
vats, and make coats, waistcoats, breech-
es, and likewise boots aGd shoes at your
servicew
"Oho! a boot and shoe maker after
au!' contemptousIy returned the ques-
toner.
"GUess again. gentlemen" continued
Staurt, good-humoredly. Tnever han
died boot or shoe but for my own feet
and legs; yet aII have told you is
! true"
awe may as well give up guessing; it
! is Of no use
The fun loving painter checking his
own laughter, which was on the point
Of bursting forth, and stimuIatinga fresh
flow Of spirits by a huge pinch Of snuff,
said, gravely, as if bringing the matter
to a satisfactory conclusion.
'Now, gentlemen, I viii play the fool
with you no longer, but will tell you up
on my honor as a gentleman, my bona
! fdc dcprofession-I get my bread my maxi
ing faces.
He then screwed up his coGntenance
and twisted his features in a manner the
most sliIIfuI clown might have envied.
When the loud peaIs Of laughter had
subsided, the company with one accord
declared that they had all the while
knew he must be a comedian by profess
SION But when Staurt cooIIy informed
them that he never was on the stage,
and very rarely inside of q playhouse
| their chagriD and astOnishment equall-
zed their previous merriment.
"Genuemen," ," said Staurt, to his COM
/ panions, as he was about to leave them,
you viii find all 1 have said in regard
( to my various empIoyments is compris-
ed in these few words: [ am portrait
painter. If you will call on me at York
Buildings, London, shall be ready and
willing to brush your coat or hat, dress
your hair q la mode, supply you, if you
need, with wig Of any fashion or df-
mensions, accommodate you with boots
OF shoes, give you rufies or cravaIs,
and make faces for you"
While taking a parting glass at the
inn, the gentlemen begged leave to in
quire Of the artist in what part Of Eng
land he was born. He told them he was
not born in England, Scotland, ireland,
! or Wales.
"Where then ?" presisted the English
! Yankees.
81 was born at Naragausett," replied
StWaFt.