Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-07-29
Mnmpruns department.
TURNING THE TABLES.

Halt! Your money or your life! Throw
up your hands!' exclaimed stranger
stepping in front of the shadow, while ac-
companying the words might have been
heard the sharp click of pistol. The per-
son addressed was weary newspaper man
vending his lonely way homeward in the
outskirts of the city, about 3 o'clock in the
morning.
90, yes, certainly. I'm in no hurry.
Only walking for exercise. Just as soon
hold up my hands as not. I'm not armed.
Please turn that pistol little to one side.
1t makes me nervous"
"Hand over your cash -
''Haven't nary red with me. You see
they took all that away from me when they
entered my name on the books.
"Where did they take your money from
you?'
"Oh, yes; at the pest-house. You see
I'm smallpox patient, just out for exer-
else. They won't let me walk about in the
day time with my face in this condition, so
I have to 90 after dark, and late at night,
when the streets are empty. By-the-way,
stranger, the wind is rather in your direc-
ton, and, unless you amt particular about
it, it might be just as we'll to stand on the
other side. I've got an old silver watch,
though. If you like it, come and take it.
You're at perfect liberty to search me, if
you like, only don't point that pistol this
way it's uncomfortable. Dye want the
old watch?'
"No, thank you," said the robber, back
ing away and round toward the other side
ii couldn't take anything from a man so
unfortunate as you are. Here-there S
half dollar for you, poor fellow. Go and
get something to drink" and he threw the
coin toward him, still backing off: GAS
you're only walking for exercise, it won't
incommode you-''
"Oh, not particle. I'd just as soon
walk with you, if you desire it. Either
way, though, it's all the same to me. Thank
you for your half. Won't you join me,
and drink to my recovery?''
"Well you 90 round the block the other
way as haven't hurt you, say nothing
about having met me. I guess I'll 60 this
way" and then watching till the supposed
smallpox patient turned the corner, he
started off on a full run in the opposite d.
rection.
Mr.. Newspaper Man proceeded on home.
ward undisturbed, and slept the sleep Of
one who enjoys the consciousness of having
done a good thing, and four bits better of
for having met a highwayman.
sUT LUyENGOOD AT A CANDY PULLING.
I had heap of trouble last Christmas,
and lie tell you how it happened. Deken
Jones' gals give candy pullin, and got
stool, as they say in North Karlina, and
so over 1 goes. Sister Poll and me went
together, and when we got to ole man Jones
the house was chuck full. Dog my cats eff
there was room to turn round.
There was Suze Harkins, shese as big as
Il skinned boss, and sixty other Harkinses,
and all the Scrogginses, and Williamses,
and Simmonses, and Pedigrews, and the
school master and his gal, besides the old
Deken and the Dekenses, and enough little
Dekenses to set up half dozen young folks
in the famili business.
Well, bymeby the pot begun to bile, and
then the fun be- gun. We all got our plates
reddy, and put -four on our hands to keep
the candy from stickin, and them we pitched
into pullin. Wozent it fun? Inever saw
sch latfin and cuttin up in all my born daze
made candy bird for EN- Simmons. Her
and me expects to trot in double harness
one of these daze She made candy goose
for me. Then we got thrown candy balls
intu one another's hair, and runnin from
one side of the house to tother and out intu
the kitchen, till everything on the place
was all over gommed with candy.
sot on pine bench, and EN- Simmons
sot close to me. Suse Harkins, confound
her pcter, throwd a candy ball sock intu one
of my ize. made bulge to run arter
her, and heerd sumthin rip. My stars
alive? Wozent l picked? l looked
around and thar was the gable eend of my
bran new britches stickin to the pine
bench. / backed up agin the wall sorter
craw-fsh like and grinned.
'sSut," ses sister Poll, "what's the mat
ter 2" ''Shet up says I.
"Sut," says EN-, "Come away from that
wall, you'll git all over greasy"
"Let her grease says l, and sot down
on wash bord that was lying across a tub
feelin worse than on old maid at a wedden.
Purity soon. | felt something hurt, and
purity soon it hurt agin. 1cs-whiz I
jumped ten feet high, kicked over the tub,
out hue old Jones Christmas turkey, and
you ought to seed me git. I cut for tall
timber, jumpt staked and ridered fences
and smashed down brush like runaway
herkan till | got home, and went to bed
and stade there two daze.
Eff old dekin Joneses barn burns down
next winter, and ime arrested for it, and
enybody peers as a witness agin me, lie
bust his doggoned he'd Them'smy senti-
ments. SUIT LOVENGOOD.
4 WITTY ECCLESIASTICAL Roman &C.
clesiastic, in reply to whatever question
might be proposed, began by saying, II
make Distinction. \ certain cardinal
having invited him to dine, proposed to
g., IL ,o,,-o,,,