The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-11-12
W'if ats Duit,ur.

- -~-~-----.~>--~-----@---,~-[- " wv
Spirit wrappers-bottles.
a poor key-Whiskey.
-Rare sense-Reticence.
- A broad -Modes-tv.
- good boIt-Hum bolt.
y hard stone Blackstone.
line most respondent bird-A. +
..Wh ny Is proclamation like eight
aiacnins' Because it an-ounce-is.
counsellor. 'o0'i'S
- Cure for the heart. hprp-S.,
low fire engine. = Wal
81, Railroad Accldent-when TN,
guide. ' '''0 III Tue
- huhtlng parties to the Paci6i.
sa.ps cpnlplain that euchre is the only
- Age should always rreceda
.oeauty-therefore let the old folks re-
Tire before ten o'clock.
-, man uptown has got so deem
mo deot that not one of his creditors
mas oeeh able to see him for months.
ny is dogs tail a great novel;
"! because no one evei saw it be.
- An American editor makes the
ioiiowlhg announcement: .sSeveral
aeaths nnayoidably delayed until next
iWigGs is writing story in
whlch he introduces a servant win
buckets to catch heroine when she
bursts into tears.
- Somebody hoaxing said TO .Jer-
rold' ~ have just had some cal, tail
soup the wit replied extremes
do meet sometimes
- Small Bore: What n npisanca II
Is standing near the piano. One can
scarcely hear ones partner sneak.
cruel Young Lady: prefer & OH that
account.
- Providence was enliyened the
DINER evening by the sight ofa yonng
woman boxing the ear, of her lover,
on the street, because he had escorted
another lady home.
"A young woman went nm in
pal:eon at the Miami county Ohio Fair
ahd aftei an hours ride pumped down
INFO pond and was severely, but not
dangerously "wetted."
- When Beau Nash WAC sick. DR..
Sheyhe wrote a prescription for him. !
me next day the doctor inquired il he |
nad followed his prescription? "No. |
Iaith, DOCTOR said Nash, ''if had. [ |
sho'liu have broken my neck, for |
Threw u out OF a -pair-of- stairs |
window
- 1t is singular fact that ladies |
VINO know how to preserve everything |
else can preserve their tempers. |
Yet It may easily be done on the self. |
sealing principle. 1t is only to keep |
The mouth of the vessel closed.
- The industrious old lady who
walked all oyOr Il towa down East with
can in her hand to procure o,,art of |
the milk OF human kindness has been
more successful in getting little lam
out OF door. She got the jam OH her
fingers.
- Dutchman-sGood morrow. PAT.
how yoa tuz?' Irshman-sTbe ton al
The mornin TIL We, Smitt; dye think
we ii get rain the day?' Dut, hman-
'hess NO; !e never hash mooch rain in
der dry time Irishnan-sFa an,
yer right there, Smitt am Tim wbin-
ever it g'ts in the Way % raining. nlycr
bit o. dhry wllher VIII We git as lone
as the wet spell howlds.'
An Irishman recently STONED
at MOTEL in Dcs Moines Iowa, where
pretty high bills were charged. In the
morning the landlord made out the A.
mount OF damages and presented it to
iat. After he had glanced over it, the
latter looked the landlord. in the face
and exclaimed: Eye put me III mind
OF snipe," 'Why?' asked the landlord.
Because ye'ro very nigh all bill
- A youth who was being repri-
mandcd for playing marbles on Sun
day was asked, do You know where
those boys 60 20 who play marbles on
Sunday" he hsd not been sufficient
ly shr III regard to future STATE,
and answered quite innocently, .sOh,
yes some on 'em go to the common,
ana some on Gin goes down to the
river"
I'll went to bathe," said Yam
kee. ''bnt before / was long In the WA
ter saw huge, double jawed shark
was toibe done! When he was within
a yard Of me faced round, tlivetl under
the shark, and taking h life from nv
pocket, ripped the monster up" "Bnt
did YOU battle with your clothes onY''
asked IN astonshed listener. well"
answered the srory-teller, reproachful-
~, ''wcIl do think you needn't be SO
tarnation particular"
- Down in shop IN little Della
ware, the men often try to get ahead of
zach o.her in the way of hard yarns,
rat it's hard to beat A leck. One of the
men the other day. who had been on
he OHIO, was speaking of the light
lraugh of some of the steamers ont
here, when Uncle Bill spun yarn a.
,out steamer he saw down the conn
ry that could go over any meadow
With light dew on il. When he fin
she'd Aleck came in with--"Oh, that's
othipg. When was working at Sam
Iarlans last spring. he lannchet! a
teamer Tor Morgan that didn't touch
he water By an inch and tLree-q quar-
srs."
- At the so-called spiritual sitting
4 Hartiort recently. there was present
woman Who dcplored the loss of her
ons0rt. aud as the manifestations be-
an to appear the spirit of the deceased
enedict entered upon the scene. OF II
curse the widow was nov eager to
lgage In conversation with the absent
ne. aud The following dialogue ensued: tail
Widow.-"Are you III tile spirit
oru.?"
The Lamentcd. III am" viii
Widow.-''How long have you been
erey" -.
The Lamented. 10. some time"
w idow. -"Don't you want 10 come pro,
icS and be with ponr lonely wife?.
tle La'aented.-sEoti II Iknaw mr.I
IL iss hot eno"gh around here. ~