The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-03-03
A trick upon a Traveller.


ployed as travelling salesman for New York
house whose family resides in an interior town
| of this State, stopped, as many do, weary
and travel-stained, at a hotel in this city.
He arrived on the $50 train from Detroit,
having come from some point far to the
westward that day, and tired, weary, dusty,
sore, fatigued and disguised. registered his
name, had a room assigned him, and pro-
ceeding thereto, sought repose in the quiet
arms of Morpheus, dreaming if he dreamed
at all, of the trade he should drive with the
thrifty merchants of the Corn City on the
morrow
A merchant of this city, who was patron
of the house to which this particular traveller
belongs, happened TO be in the hotel that
evening at about o'clock, and his eye fall
ing upon the register it alighted upon this
happy circumstance For this merchant
was of a jocose turn of mind, wag, joker,
-one of those men who do all sorts of alb
surd things, hoping that amusement of
some kind will follow. He did an absurd
| thing to the name, though the occurrences
that followed were anything but amusing.
What did he dog Why he seized pen, and
In the same handwriting, as near as possible,
he added to the name of the commercial
! traveller up stairs the words "and lady"
Two small words; but small things are often
productive of great results. 1t is said dis
pute about a hOg-trough set in motion the
succession of events that made Martin Van
Buren, President, and it is a well-known fact
that a well-bucket caused one of the largest
and bloodiest wars in Europe. These two
words, land lady," added to the name of
sleeping commercial traveller, was the occa-
sion of an unpleasantness not as terrible to
humanity in general as war, but as quite dis
agreeable to this one member of the human
family.
For, as the facts would have it, brother
in-law of this commercial traveller, the only
brother of the idolized wife of his bosom also
traveller for New York house-had been
that very morning at his the first commercial
traveler's) house in the interior, where he
had seen his sister. Anxious to see her hus-
band, he had ascertained he would probably
be at Toledo that night, and as fast as steam
could carry him he sped hither, arriving on
the 1l:30 P. NJ. train of the C. and T. He
went to one hotel, and then another, and f.
nally struck the right one. He looked at the
register, he saw the name, and he saw alas
the added words, "and lady !" What lady?
Not the lady who had right TO travel with
him, for that lady, his sister, he left at her
home in the pleasant interior town that
morning, and as she did not come with him, it
was morally impossible that it could be she
The brother in-law knew all about it at once,
and being bigger man than the wretch who
was thus shamefully abusing the confidence
reposed in him, he determined to surprise
him in his sin, and with his good right hand,
or rather both hands, and feet, if need be, to
chastise him. Boiling with rage he mounted
the stairs, and, without waiting to announce
his presence by the regular knock, he applied
his foot to the door, which unable to stand
the pressure, as j. n. has it, yielded. In he
went; and the sleeping traveller awoke to
find himself in the embrace of a strong and
angry man.
The commercial traveller was somewhat
astonished, as may be supposed. He had no
time to think; he was assailed so ferociously
as to leave no doubt that the assailant meant
to take his life. He resisted. Though small,
he is a remarkably active man, and not at all
cowardly, and he sailed in. The fight was
rather pretty one. Now one on top aud
now the other. Now the commercial traveller
was under, and anon the brother in-law.
Now the brother in-law had the commercial
travellers ear between his teeth, and then
again the commercial traveller was tearing
away savory bits of the brother in-law's
cheeks Chairs were smashed, stands and
tables were upset, and groaus and screams,
and yells, enough to furnish an ordinary
lunatic asylum, proceeded from the room.
There never was such fight, with the ex-
ception perhaps, of the famous free fight in
Arkansas, of which it is recorded that an
picked up.
Finally the clerk heard the rumpus and
proceeded to the room. 1t was lucky that
he did SO, for they had each other by the
throat with such a vicious grasp that both
must have died in a moment more
He tore them apart
"Where is sheg" grasped the brother in
law, splitting out three teeth, which,
knocked out, were of no use to him.
'She?" asked the commercial traveller, as
well as a man could whose upper lip was
split "Who is she ?n
"Why the woman registered with you,"
muttered the brother in-law, tearing away
bit of his left ear and chucking it out of the
window.
1t is unnecessary to pursue the subject fur
Their. The pair proceeded to the register
the signature and the addition were exam
ined, the cheat was apparent, and harmony
restored. The parties left on Saturday
morning for the home of the commercial
traveller, where they will tarry while till
nature repairs damages. The practical joker
was made acquainted with the result of his
effort. He will not repeat it very SOON
Toledo BLADE, Oct. 1871.