The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-02-12
MADAM SCANDAL.

/ n lOuH liulc dHD, bucic llNeu all dOeu
couple; whose time had passed away,
since early youth, in the every day
round of farm life, and who were never
known to have the least i'll feeling to-
wards each other, since the time good
old Parson Heriot had united them i'm
the holy bonds of wedlock, twenty five
years before. So well was the fact OF
their conjugal happiness known, that
| they were spoken uf far and near as the
happiest pair in the world Now the
| devil has been trying for twenty years
| to create what is called a 'sftss in the
family" between these old companions.
But much to his modification he had
not been able to induce the old gentle
man TO grumble about breakfast being
too late, or the old woman to give cur
| tain lecture.
! After repeated efforts, the devil be-
came discouraged, and had he not been
person of great determination, he would
doubtless have given the work up in
| despair. One day as he walked along
in very surly mood, after another at
tempt to get the old lady to quarrel
about the pigs getting into the yard, he
met Mrs. Scandal, an old lady, neigh
bor of the aged couple. As Mr.. Devil
and the neighbor were pretty good
friends, they must needs stop on the
way and chat little.
"Good morning." sir, she said, sand
pray what on earth makes you look so
bad this morning? Isn't the contro-
versy bet ween all the churches doing
good servicey'
"Yes."
"Isn't Deacon w. making plenty of
bad whiskey?"
eyes"
swell, what's the matter, my highly
honorable master?"
Everything is going on well en-
ough," replied the devil, ..but ole Blue
ford and his wife are injuring the cause
terribly by their bad example. and after
trying for years to induce them to do
right, must say l consider them hope
less.''
The hag stood moment in deep
thought.
"And you are sure you have tried
every way?"
EVERY way can think of"
"Are you certain?"
eyes"
"Well," she replied, eifyou will prom
ise to make me q present of new pair
of shoes, in case | succeed, will make |
the attempt myself and see if l can raise
a quarrel between them"
To this reasonable request the devil
gladly assented. The old hag went to
Blueford's house and found Mrs. Blue
ford busily engaged in getting things
ready for her husbands comfort on his
return from work. After the usual
compliments had passed, the following
dialogue took place:
"Well, friend B., you and Mr.. B. have |
lived long time together?"
Give and twenty years come next |
November" replied Mrs. B.
sand all this time you have never had |
a quarrel?"
"Not one"
~ am truly glad to hear it," contin-
ued the hag. 81 consider it my duty
to warn you, though this is the case. YOU
must not expect it to be always. Have
you observed that of late Mr.. Is. has
grown peevish and sullen at times ?"
"a little so," observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
~ knew it," continued the hag: 'sand
let me warn you to be on your guard
Mrs. B. did think she had better do
so, and asked advice as to how she
should manage the case.
"Have you not noticed" said the hag,
'that your husband has bunch of long
harsh hairs growing under the chin near
his throat2"
eyes"
"These are the cause of his trouble,
md as long as they remain, you had
better look out. Now, as friend.
would advise you to cut them of the
irst time you get a chance, and thus
End the trouble, and you had better look
)ut."
Soon after this the hsg started for !
home, and made it convenient to meet
Mr.. b. on the way. Much the same !
ak in relation to his domestic happi- !
Tess passed between him and the old +
'But, friend Blueford," said she, 81
hink it my duty as Christian to warn
Tou to be on your guard, for cell you
Tour wife intends your ruin"
Old Mr.. b. was very much astonisheG, y
ret he could not wholly discredt her l
words. When he reached home, he !
hrew himself on bed in perrlexity,
nj feigning himself asleep studied the
natter over In his mind. His wife,
this good opportunity to cut 9
II the obnoxious hair, took her hus- 1
and's razor and crept softly to his l
ide. Now the old lady was much q
frightened at holding razor SO close /
o her husbands neck, and her hand Q
Ess not 70 s'cady as n was oncei 30 be- 1