The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-08-06
Amusing P~aragrnphs.

Marrying women for their beauty IL
like eating a bird for its sweet singing,
81 know by a little what n great deal
means, AZ tho gandcr said when hc saw
the tip Of n foX's tail sticking out Of a hol-
low tree.
The Waterbury American telegnphed
TO Col A. II. Fem, at Plymouth: "Send
Us full particulars of the flood" Ho re-
piled; you'll find them in Genesis"
A belle of Agra, India, wears for full
dress two shawls, thirty bracelets, fourteen
pairs Of earrings, seven necklaces, and
nose pendant, and n seal ring on each
thumb.
A young man Of Memphis has appear
cd in st. Louis to claim tho reward of 500
advertised for news of the missing girl He
married her the other day after a success
ful elopomcnt.
According TO tho Cincinnati Times, the
railroad to louisville twill bind tho two
cities together like n pair Of cats tied by
the tails"
An lrishman dropped q letter into the
post-oihce the other day, with the following
memorandum on the corner, for tho bone-
Ill OF all indolent postmRsters into whose
hands 1t might fall: "Ploaso hasten the
delay of this"
'Dear me-" exclaimed Stiggins, 'that
new surgeon gave Squantum's boy n new
mp rom the child'R W check What a
painful operation 1t must have been "I'ye
had IA pair Of lips taken from my cheek
moro than once" replied Mrs. Sliggina,
'and II wasn't n painful operation at all.
A girl, keeper Of n toll-gate in Eng
land, was asked bya swell yclocipedist, who
thought 70 chan her, how much he had 10
pay That, sir" replied she, "depcnds
upon whether You ride through the gate, or
whether you get off your dandy horse and
drag II through; because in that case oyery
two-wheeled vehicle drawn by o horse or
ass pays three-penco."
An aged lady in Philadelphia, whose
failing sight rendered necessary a prayer
book Of great size, recently called on her
friends ON her way 10 church, and upon
starting. again, unwittingly picked up n
music box instead of tho prayer book.
During the sacred ceremony, tho old lady
attempted to open her prayer book, when
to her surprise and the astonishment Of tho
congregation, tho machine struck up
'Lanigan's Ball" with great clearness and
force.
A CUnIoUs CoURr SoENR.-The Chinese
papers report q curious and touching scene
which lately occurred in the Shanghai
mixed courts. A dissoluto prodignl, having
a chain round his neck, 10 which his hands
were fast, was brought up by Ills father.
The parenta very respectable looking man,
declared he could mako nothing OF the
prisoner. lie had tried all means 10 cure
him OF his propensity for smoking opium,
but without effect. III he gave him money,
1t went In opium; clothes wore at once
pawned to satisfy his cravings. Intterly
no had been chained up in o house 10 see
what effect that would have; Int his an
poarance on that occasion was because he
had broken out, and had been picked M
by n policeman. In fact, tho father de-
clarod that he would be glad if the court
would take him in hand and give him a
soyoro punishment. The Judge advised
him TO give mis- son another trial, and add
ed that if after one punishment no was in
corr1giblo, Chinese law would permit de-
capitation on the consent of the father
"A Boston paper says: 'Thosea serpent
has again appeared in our waters, If ac-
counts from below are correct. 1t was soen
on tho 4th inst. in the bay, sailing about,
with head erect. After displaying itself
for some time, it moved round in u circle
and disappeared. It's head was apparently
about tho size of q barrel, with n sorles Of
rings around it," From tho description
given We should think it was tho 'Borpont
Of the STILL"