The Ebensburg Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1865-1871, 1869-03-11

-Wanted-the key to a canal lock.
Turf movements-Grave digging.
"A crate work-Repairing a stove.
-A"Marine Parade" naval review.
"A verse by natures poet-The uni
verse.
POINTED Architeeture-the Cathedral
of Spires.
IF d man fail out of the window, whaE
does he fall againstf Against his will.
The best place to perform the Grecian
Bend is over the wash-tub.
-"Hunting- Parties" - Mothers With
daughters 10 marry!
The mftten that never fts-The ons
you get from lady.
Whatever else you may choose to sip,
let alone gossip.
To q bonnet-though lost to sight TO
memory dear.
Removing q landmark-washing a
dirty face.
Aiming at an end---a parent logging
his child.
All comparisons are odious, and should
be avoided
Attempt not tocurb madman nor to
make fool Wi3e.
BE prudent and circumspect in al
you say and do.
Never interfere in other peoples con-
Germs.
-Courtship is bliss, but mstrimony IL
blister.
IA desirable domestic bird-A duck
Of wife.
Unpleasant drawing - Drawing =
tooth
The back door belle--A pretty kitch-
en- maid.
-Unmarried ladies with independent
resources should husband them.
What fruit does q newly married
couple resemble ! A green pair.
We always respect old age, except
when stuck with pair Of tough chickens.
Why is baby like sheaf Of wheatf
Because it is first eradled, then thrashed,
and finally becomes the flower OF the fam
lily.
| There is man in town 50 witty that
| his wife manufactures all the butter that
! the family uses from the cream Of his
jokes.
"A western exchange says the ass
hoppers recently ate up half an acre of to-
bacco for farmer, and when he went out
to look at it they sat on the fence and
squirted tobacco juice in his face.
-"Why do you set the cup Of coHsson
the chair, Mr.. Jonesp said worthy land
lady one morning at breakfast. "It il 20
weak, ma'am, thought would let it
rest" replied Jones.
| -"Pat," said udge Tiff to his neighbor
| in sleeping car, ''you would have remain
ed long time in the old country before
you could have slept with Judge" "Yes,
yer Honor ; and ye would have been long
time in the Guild country before ye'd been
ajudge."
"A countryman, not long since, on
| first sight of locomotive, declared that
he thought it was the devil on wheeh.-
| 'sFaix, an yer worse than meself," said an
Irish bystander, 'sfor the first time / saw
the eraythur thought it was = steamboat
huntin' for Wather."
"A young lady in conversation with
friend, thus enthusiastically praised
clergyman:
Gle is perfect gentleman; he parts
his hair in the middle; talks horse and
plays billiards beautifully"
"A weetern paper gives itself the fol-
lowing pleasant obituary notice on Thanks
giving day:
aNo paper win be issued from this Office
to-morrow-nor any other day."
The Sheriff was around.
MAMMA, papa is getting very rich,
isn't he 2" 81 don't know why, child I"
"Cause, he gives ME 30 much money. Al
most every morning. after breakfast, when
Sally is sweeping the parlor, he gives ms
a sixpence to go out and play" Sallie re-
ceived short notice to quit.
| Why are women ike churches
Firstly, because there is no living without
one /; secondly; because there is many =
spire to them thirdly, because they ars
objects of alteration and lastly, but by no
means least, because they have loud clap
per in their upper story.
| AT fair recently held down east .
youngster of sixteen inquired ofons of the
young lady attendants "Have yot any
nice fitting diapers :" 1--WE don't keep
them ready made, but if you will come in
side the table viii take your measure,
was the damsel's spirited reply. Sauey
Young America left;
! "A gentleman being asked by clergy
man whv he did not attend the evening
prayer meetings, said he could not leave
, the children.
"Have you no servants
. eyes" he replied 1--WE have two servants
who keep the house and board us, but We
! are allowed but few privileges"