The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-11-04
WitticisIlls.

| y
have is in the mirror.
Young ladies' who play croquett'
are known as lnaidens all for lawn
(all f'rlorn) cls-
What is it from which II you take the
whole s,me will remain? The word
wholesome.
Action should follow thought. N"
farmer can pIow field by turn-
ing it over in his mind.
A bore is person who keeps talkin.
to you about III nsclf when yol want
to talk 10 him alb ut yourself.
Why should 'uercy he ever bene.
fit to the light fingered gentry' Be
cause it blessvs hlnl 't.lat takes
Why arc certain Yankees the great
est feeders in all creation. Because
they whlllle (victuaI) and drink all
day long.
james, how does the thermometer
stand t".dayI' Ours stands on the
mantrlpie right ayin tie plaster
ing"
Why is it proverhial that parrots
nave the strongest inducements to he
honest ? Because honesty is the best
PoIl ] see. 'V
The maxim "strike while the iron is
hot is getting altogethertoo slow for
the age: you must make it hot by
striking.
A IN IN who had leen sick away from
ho nc wrote back thus {: Il am So chan.
g,d that my oldest creditors would
hardly know me"
There is said to lie great similari,
ty between Il vain young lady and a
contirncl uiu ikarl, IN that neither OF
them can n-vcr get enough Of the
glass.
The man who travels thousand
miles in a thousand hours may be tol-
erably quick-footed, hut he is nothing
to the woman who keeps up with the
fashions.
When should woman 60 into the
timber business! When she pine. tor
her lover who S Il spruce young man,
and Of whom she thinks great dea,.
Ittherc is anything wrong with your
mouth you should not 20 to dentist,
but to Il chemist or drug yisl, because
nc cu,, sell gums as well as draw teeth.
A london umbrella t,iief returned Il
pnrloine,. article with the following
uotr' This umbrella has pradc hon
IN, konshens over since | stole him,
". r."
My DEAR said a cross grained hus
oand to his long suffering wife, "lo
YOU intend to make i tool Of me p
No my love nature has saved me that
trouble"
Success in life is very apt to make
us forget the time wheI we wcrnt much
1t is just so with ir,g on ajunp; he
cant rr,n-lubsr when he was a tadpOIr
hut other folks can,
Be.sar: "Plesse,sr give me y pen
ny To keep me- from starving" Gent:
Cant stop; in a hurry; I've got To
make Il speech at the Society for the
'rnrlit of the D. s,itute.'
W"n'ty"u take hast of this poor ap-
ple:' sai'la pretty da.n,el, M |
hank you l would prefer better
nall" Etlza blushed and reerred the
young man TO her papa.
"W,ie,' saida man looking for his
raz,r,casc, IL have places where keep
M things, and you ought to know it.
Yes" said sac, II ought to know
where You keep your late hours"
My hearers" said an enthusiastic
Texas orator, "trutn is ng'ty an |
will prevail truth heats egss all hol-
low, and why Because truth crushed
to the earth will rise asan but eggs
wont"
Here is u mot picked up at the fu
neral of Marshal. Mel. A locker on,
who c'uid mt sufficiently admire the
nearsr, Kept repeating, "wlat hIe
.'earse What aspIen,ld hearse! how
happy these ricI people are"
Young Hopeful: "Wlat does pa
pa mt all day lmg Tor, map MIml:.
;" rnat youm,y nave y,ur daner. IN,
dearest" Ynmns HppsIul pon'lerins
d ,es ne SIN ike all day Tor my dinner.
too. map
A lawyer, on be.ny sympathiz.i
with by one oi jury that hal fOun
sIne a party whom he hal struve to
rove insane. sal he required M con.
] l1ieLce. for he was satisfied that hi,
Silent had been triel by jury Of his
.rrr5.
A jailer received strict orders not to
seep any prisoners in solitary con-
inerneDt. Olce wIieu he hal but two
ID charge, one &C. apc'l, AMI ho was
,b!ye,l in consequence, to kick the 9th
.r out of doors, IN order to comply |