Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1869-05-14

AS Oolfax had Nellie Wade, why
didn't he have her uncle weighed alsO2
Because he's Ben Wade.
No less than thirty-tWo biographies
of Mr.. Lincoln have been published I'm
Germany since he was murdered.
The Chicago University for Women
is to be erected this summer. The
building is to be 1sO by 1856 feet.
The Kansas Legislature has apprOpri-
ated $500 to provide the penitentiary
prisoners with preaching, and 81 400 to
provide them tobacco.
Why will young fellows be such fools
as to give their sweethearts locks of
their hair, when, after marriage, they
can help themselves ?
1t was an apt answer Of a young lady
who, being asked where was her native
place, replied: Il have none; I am the
daughter Of Methodist minister"
A woman, who for eighteen years
has peddled matches in the streets Of
Detroit, has reared and educated three
children, all of whom have good trades,
and has also paid for house.
Ericsson, the inventor, has received,
in Sweden, cup bearing the inscrip-
tiom, 50 To the noblest representative
Scandinavia ever had in the United
States"
At Braddoclzis Field, Penn, a youth
of seventeen is so violently in love
with a coy maiden of ffty-six that the
latter has been obliged to ask official
protection from his UnWelcome atten-
tions.
Women having a certain amount Of
property in Russia have the right to
vote, though it must be exercised by
proxy, male relative or a friend rep
resenting them at the election.
AgricuIturally speaking, it is exceed
ingly bad to harrow up the feelings Of
your wife, to rake up old quarrels, to
hoe a grudge, and to SOW discord.
Two Irishnen were one day engaged
in roofing house, when one Of them
lost his hold Ond fell to the ground.
The other hastened tgllhinn. and inuuir-
ed, when he found him lying PROSTATE
and still: Mickeyg MickeVl are We
dead2" No." replied Mickey, " not
dead, but spacheIessl 20
Josh Billings was asked, " How fast
does sound traVel?" and his idea is,
that it depends a good deal upon the
noise you are talking about. Z" The
sound of dinneT-hOrn, for instance,
travels half mile in a second, while
an invitashun to git up in the morning
/ have known to be quarters NV an
hour gOin' up 2 pair NV stairs, and then
not hev strength left to be heard"
Lamartine had the same hair-dresser
for eighteen years. This wise barber
fortunately preserved the superhuous
hair clipped from the head Of this de-
ceased poet, and is now enabled to sup
ply all his friends and admirers with q
lock thereof, for a consideration.
John G. Sake was walking up Rroad-
way the other day, when he was
costed by friend, and asked where he
was bound. The poet replied l
Boston this afternoon, Dec U0iggte
g What routes that2 " asked the in-
quirer. By way of Providence, Of
course"
Mumler, the Spiritual Photographer,
is described as an unctuous-IOOking
lout, with plenty of greasy hair, and
fat eyes. He belongs to the heavy or
der of Spiritualists, of which there are
two kinds-the heavy and the fragile.
Some of the symptoms Of old maid
ishness are thus described by a Scotch
paper: When woman begins to
drink her tea without sugar-that's a
symptom. When woman begins to
read IOve-stories a-bed-that's a symp-
tom. When a woman gives a sigh on
hearing of a Wedding-that's a symp-
tom. When a woman begins to say
that she's refused many an offer-that's
q symptom. When n woman begins to
say what q dreadful set of creatures
men are, and that she wouldn't be both
cred with one for all the world-that's
a symptom. When a woman begins to
have a little dog tr0tting after her
that's a symptom. When a woman be-
gins to have a cat at her elbow at meal
time, and gives it sWeetened milk
that's symptom. When woman be-
gins to say that a servant lass has no
business to have a weetheart-that's a
symptom. When a woman begins to
rub her fingers over the chairs and ta-
bles to see if they are dusty-that's a
symptom. When a woman begins TO
go to bed with her stockings and fan
mel night-cap On-that's q Symptom.