The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-02-03
0heQntelliqetr
FOULPLAY.
a N Ov H l..
ny cHAs. READE AND DION BoUclcAULr.

1.-THE Julia Dodd Joshua Fullalove ;
bound for Juan Fernandez with the
| raw material of CiviliZAtion-looka at the
varmint skippin'-and printing-press;
an that's the instrument of civilization,
/ rather think"
"Well, sir; and why in Heavens
name did you change your cOurse2"
oval, I rekon 1 changed ito tell
you lie."
ITO tell US lie7 '
Say; the darnedest eternal lie that
ever came out OF mans mouth. Fust,
| there's an unknown island somewheres
about. That's kinder flourish before
hand. On that island there's an Eng
| lish gal wrecked"
Exclamations burst forth on every
side at this.
"And she is so tarnation 'cute, she is
flying ducks all over creation with
| writing tied to their legs, telling the
tale, and setting down the longitude.
There, If that is MT buster, l hope 1
may never live to tell another"
"God bless you, sir" cried the Gen
eral. "Where is the island?"
"What island?"
"Tbe island where my child Is wreck
ed"
"What, are you the gals father?"
said Joshua, with sudden touch OF
feeling.
81 am, sir. Pray withhold nothing
from me you know"
"Why, Cunnle," said the Yankee,
soOthingly; "dOn't tell you it's bus
ter. However, the lie is none o. mine.
IT'S that old cuss Skin1lint set 1t atloat;
he is always pisoning these peaceful
waters"
Rolleston asked eagerly who Skin
flint was, and where he could be found.
oval, be is q sorter sea Jack Of-all-
| trades, etarnally cruising about to buy
gratis-those he buys of call it stealing.
Got a rotten old cutter, manned by his
wife and family. They get coal out of
| me for fur, and sell the coal at double
my price; they kill seals and dress the
skins aboard; kill fish and salt 'em
aboard. Ye know when that family is
at sea by the smell that pervades the
briny deep an heralds their approach.
| Yesterday the air smelt awful; SO Isaid
to Vespasiaa here, 1 think that sea
pisoning the cerulean waves an sue
cumambient air. We hadn't sailed not
fifty miles more before we run agin
him. Their clothes IUere drying all
about the rigging. Halls me, the var
mint does. Vesp and l, we work the
printing press together, an so order
| him to Toward, not to faint our Otahei-
tans, that stink OF lie at home, but
| had 'em billed before I'd buy 'em, an
now they're vi,ets. Wal, now, Skin
flint says i; i reckon you're come to
bring me that harpoon o. mine yon
Il never saw your harpoon,' says he,
II want to know, have you come
across the Springbok?' 'Mebbe.
have said says l F; why do you ask?'
Got news tor her. says he; 'and can't
find her nowheres.' So then we set to
and fenced Il bit; and this old varmint,
to put me off the truth, told me the
a
boarded-by duck. And this var
duck had writin tied to his leg, and
this var writin said an English gal was
wrecked on an island, and put down
the very longitude. Show me that
duck, says I, ironical. 'D' ye take us
supper That was like ye,' says Il
'if an angel brought your pardon down
from heights celestial, you'd roast him,
and sell his feathers for swnn's-down;
mebbe ye ate the writing? know yer
hungry lot THE writing is in my
am mebbe I'll believe ye.' No, the
cuss would only show it to tho Spring
box; there's a reward says he.
What's the price OF a soul aboard your
cutter p l asked him. Have you part
ed with yours, as you want to buy one"
says he. Not one as would carry
me right slick away to everlasting
blazes,' says I. So then we said good
morning and he bore away for Valpa-
rAiso. Presently l saw your smoke,
and that you would never overhaul old
Stinkamalee on that track ; so l came
about. Now 1 tell ye that old cuss
knows where the gal Is, and mebbe got
her tied hand and fut in his cabin. AM
Pm kinder sot on English gals; they
put me in mind of butter and honey.
Why, my schooner is named after one.
So. now, Cunnle, clap on steam for
Valparaiso, and you'll soon overhaul
the old slink.pot; you may know him
by the brown patch in his jib sail, the
ontIdy varmint. Pull out your purse
and bird him to drop lying about ducks
and geese, and tell you the truth ; he
knows where your gal Is, swan. Wal,
ye needn't smother me-" For by this
time he was the centre of throng, all
pushing and driving to catch his words.
Captain MOreland begged him TO step
down into his cabin, and there the Cen
eral thanked him with great warmth
and agitation for his humanity. 1--WE
will follow your advice at once" he
said. "Is there anything l can offer
you, without offence?"
"Wal," drawled the Yankee, 81 guess
not. Business an sentiment won't mix
no bow. Business took me to the island,
sentiment brought me here. I'll take
a shake hand all round: and II " have
got live fowls TO spare, 1'll be obliged
TO you Tor couple. 9 see I'm cOlOn-
iZing that darned island: an sowing in
with grain, an Otaheitans, an niggers,
an Irishmen, an all the cream o. crea-
ton; an I'd be glad of Il couple o. Dor
kins to crow the lazy varmint up"
This very moderate request was
heartily complied with, and the accla-
nations and cheers of the crew followed
this strange character to his schooner.
at which his eye glistened and twinkled
with quiet satisfaction, but he made IL
point of honor not to move a muscle.
Before he could get under way, the
Springbok took a circuit, and passing
within hundred yards of him, fired
gun to leeward by way of compliment,
set cloud of canvas. and tore through
the water at her highest speed. Out
side the port of Valparaiso she fell in
with Skintlint, and found him not quite
30 black as he was painted. The old
fellow showed some parental feeling.
produced the bag at once to General
Rolleston, and assured him a wearied
duck had come on board, and his wife
had detached the writing.
They took in coal: and then ran west
ward once more, every heart beating
high with confident hope.