The Portland daily press., 1869-10-30

|
beef at the bottom, ham at the side, and,
better than all, boiled leg Of mutton con-
| fronting the ham.
Beer was permitted and two tumbiers OF
| punch to each man. Now, as three Oh Vhe
| gentlemen present were total aDslalners, and
| as two of them couldn't bear the taste OF
| nupcb. but as all five were good fellows, and
demanded their allowance with fierce deter
mination, so as TO throw the ten tumbers
over the remaining seven jurors, things prom
| ised TO 60 on very smoothly.
There were two special constables told off
| to see that we held no communication with
| the outer world. these worthy officials re.
manned posted outside the door. but when
opportunity offered, cautiously peered in and
counted the heads, so as TO assure themselves
mat all was right, as they had been threatened
win horrible consequences should any con-
tretemps occur.
The cloth was removed, the tumblers intro
| duced, and the conversation began to circulate,
when Mr.. Sopmiss declared to me that he
| must have smoke.
YOU'D better not think of it here" said I.
'for old Chouzier hates the name OF toba Geo.
"But L can't do without my weed; my
| dinner would Disagree with me-"
MY dear boy" said I,''you see it can't be
done. fyou like to wait till bedtime. per-
haps by putting your head up the chimney, or
NY itShbihS luC Wl1luOW, YOU cOulu
manage it: but as things go, it is utterly i'm
possble.'
Slopmiss sroaned "rm dead man, by
being on this id jury! Eve missed nv two
daily smokes, and my digestion will 60 as.ray
for ever"
lett for the poor fellow; he was evidently
miserable. A bright thought will sometimes
hurst into blossom even in the dullest minds
l say this deferentially, as the idea emanated
from mine. Along the line Of windows three
being attached to the apartment in which we
were sittinglran roomy balcony.
"By jingoW said ], "Slopmiss, you can have
your weed"
ow?-when ?-where ?" cries the victim
to tobacco, in very excited whisper
"On the balcony.
| "On the balcony? What balcony?"
The balcony outside the windows. You
| can easily put aside the curtain, gently raise
the sash, seat yourself, shutting the window
behind you, and smoke until you are sick"
by Jove, Browne, you've saved my life p
said Slopmss. e.
The foreman was busily discussing the
merits OF certain clarets, with an JUNCTION that
attracted the attention Of at least nine of the
jury, when Slopmiss cautiously stole from the
table, and, with cat-like steps, reached the
curtain OF the nearest window: and then.
with deXterity of manipulation of which /
did not deem him capable, gently pushed
aside the drapery, and disappeared as noise
lessly as ghost. E.fE
lie had not been gone more than three or
four minutes when the wary constable pop-
ped IN his head to see that all was right-that
the prisoners were safe. As the easiest mode
OF ascertaining this important fact, he count
ed The individuals present. was seated ey-
actly opposite, having 'closed up" in order TO
render Sopmiss's absence as little remarkable
as possible. When the constable commenced
bis count" saw there would be, as Dick
SwiVeer would term it, ''sceneryn He
counted rapidly, and when he came to the
efd, seemed somewhat puzzled, but recon-
menced with more determination 'Ope. Two
three, four, five, six. seven,'' &c-his lips
moving in solemn sowness. Again. sudden
convulslve stop. He rubbed his eyes, and be-
gan to reckon round the other Way: SONY
eleventh He hastily threw open the door
and called in his fellow-constable The latter
commenced to count: 'Only eleven" AGAIN:
"Only eleven" They held a short council.
which ended by their locking the door. By
this time the fOremanS attention was called
to The fact of their presence, and the some.
what remarkable proceedings CONSEQUENT
thereon
What is the meaning of this intrusion 2"
shouted MI. Chouzler. .........--.
'beSSotra, sir, were fairly puzzled" said the
constable. "There was twelve Of yez here
five minutes ago sittm' fair an aisy round The
boord, an now, may the d,vil fly away wild
me, but there's wan OF yez gone"
impossible, sir" said Mr.. Chouzler; you're
drunk" -
BE the hole in me coat, 1 wished had the
provocation, sir; but sorra dhrop of apvthino
sthlongef nor wather crossed me lips this
blessed night. But shure, sir, as We doubt me
word, count the skulls yersclt.o
MT. Chouzler acted upon the suggestion, in
Whlch ne was aided by every juror present.
the majority of whom insisted upon twelve
Chouzler himself corroborating the constable's
eleven.
Il beg yer pardon, gentlemin," observed the
constable, but as wan OF yez is missin, the
shellH will murder US, so by yeI lave we'll
sarch the premises; but if it has how yez are
Jokin, av coorse yez can folly yer pleasure, on
ly say so at Wanst."
Mr.. Chouzler denied the possibility of a
joke, and requested the constahles to make
most rigorous search, admitting himself to be
fairly puzzled, and comparing bis list TO ascer-
tain the missing man. How l anticipated the
fun of Slopmiss being discovered, and ushered
INTO the presence of the irate foreman! Ten
times l was on the point of conessing, and
ten times did L funk the avowal.
The constables ducked under the table. and
CROPPED Tor their prey amongst our legs. Fail
ing TO discover him here, they drew aside the
window curtains, closing them carefully, Up-
on finding emptiness, one OF them cautiously
peered up the chimney, although a thunder
ing fire blazed in the CRATE; while The other
IN an agony OF search, lifted the lid of the
coal-scuttle, as If the body of Slopmiss could
by any acrobatic possibility fit into SO small a
place. Finding that all these efforts produc-
M trl1f 6nII I'll
While they were beating their brains tbe
gentlemen round the table were beginning to
feel perplexed.
''What the devil has, become of that fool ?,
growled Chouzler
Il saw him not two minutes ago." obsery.
ed Mr.. Frlzzle; "he was sitting opposite me-"
"Heavens He YVES beside me-" screamed
Mr.. Bobley, nervous little gentleman with
shrill voice.
"Ihis is id Fenian dodge" shouted \
gentleman, whose loyalty was of the most
uproarlous nature; sand, cost me what it will.
I'll expose it." "'''
The constables advanced, and the officer
VINO mad previously acted as spokesman came
forward. 0''''-'
"Gintlemin, this is mighty quare business.
Iheies larks in it, or there's wuss. Now
mere he hxed his eyes on Chouzler), ''if this
ould gent will only aise himself of the truth.
It'll save thrubble"
"Confound you, felloww cried the indignant
foreman. "Do you imagine tor one moment
that know anything of this proceeding?
Answer me, sir, at oncew t-s-.sE
"Troth, sir, an thin do" replied the Off
Ger, with calmness that spoke his conyic-
ton. .-....-.-
An irrepressible litter ran round the table,
Chouzler grew purple with suppressed rage,
but maintained an outward calm.
why, sir" he eulped, 'do you imagine
that could be party to this AFFAIR.""
The officer replied, without seconds hes
dhroll eye, divil a doubt of it, -
We roared laughing. The fact of fixing The
escapaue on the wary and irate Chouzler was
and long. o" iouu's
Il III not remain here to be made a lauobno-
stock OF J" he shouted, darling from his chair
as he spoke; "and allow me to saw that fbis
scandalous practical joke shall be sifted TO the
very Dottom-tO the very buttCmlD
lie approached the dor. and was atout
lllngln9 1t open when the constable lnternos-
ed: P''
"Aisy-aisy, sir! One of yez flyin' away is
hapes, blu. two would be the diyil intirelv1
Poor Old Chouzler, beaten at all poinfs re-
turned to his seat, swallowed a tumblel fuI of
water, and glared at his foe.
IT'S time. gintlemin," said the second con-
stahle, "that something should be done. We
must sehd Ior the sheriff, gntlemin, if yez
uol produce the gentleman that is abide"
Send for the sheriff at once, sir.n shouted
Chouzler, and let him deal with this matter
with the utmost rigor."
"Gintlemn, is il your wish that | should
60 for the sheriff %