The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1869-01-23
Selected for the BOLIVAR BULLETIN.
Destruction Railroad.

The Directors take pleasure in reassuring
their numerous friends and patrons, that
the Road to Ruin is now in good order.
Within the last three months it has carried
more than three hundred thousand passen-
gers clear through from the town of Tenn
perance to the city of Destruction, while
the number of way passengers is encourag-
ing. An enormous amount Of freight, such
as mechanics tools, household furniture,
and even whole farms, have gone forward;
and the receipts of the year have been so
large, that the Directors have resolved to
declare dividend Of five hundred per cent.
The track has been much improved, and re-
laid with Messrs. Diabolus d Co.'S patent
rail he grades are reduced to dead
level, and the switches brought to such per-
fection all along the route, as to jerk the
cars in moment from the main track, to
avoid collision with the Total Abstinence
engine, and the Temperance trains which
have recently caused so much trouble. In
| short, we have spared no expense to make it
superior to any other road to Ruin ever es-
| tablished. 1t gives US great pleasure to call
| the attention of the public to the improve
ments in our engines and cars. The old
| favorite comotive-Alcohol-h a fire.
chamber of double capacity, and patent
| driving wheels after the fashion of old Jug
gernaut Our wine-cars are models of luXu-
rious conveyance, after the pattern of the
far famed London Gin Palaces where ladies
and gentlemen and children of the first
water can have attention. To keep up with
the spirit of the times, our whisky, rum and
brandy cars have been greatly enlarged,
and fare reduced to half price. Our cider,
porter and beer cars are exciting great
attention among the children. Our expert.
enced Engineer, Mr.. Belial, and our polite
and gentlemanly conductor, Mr., Mix, have
been too long known to the travelling public,
to need any commentator. Indeed, so swift
and sparkling are our trains through all our
towns and villages, that some have called it
1.-THE flying artillery of hell let loose on the
earth" Tickets must always be procured of
Mr. Mix, at the Drinkers Hotel, where you
may see the following extract from our
charter from the government
Licensed to make strong weak;
! Licensed to lay the wise man low,
| Licensed a wife's fond heart to break
And make her childrens tears to how-
| Licensed to do thy neighbOr harm;
| Licensed to hate and strife
| Licensed the cobblers
Licensed whet the murderous knife
Licensed. where peace and quiet dwell,
| To bring disease and want and
! Licensed 0 make this world hell,
And fit man for hell below"
REGULATIONS.
The down train leaves Ciderville at 6 a. IA
Portertown at 7 a. m, BeerviIle at 8 a. M
Wineville at a. m, Brandy Borough al
10 a. m, and Whisky City, at u m.
The speed of the train viii be greatly in
creased as it proceeds; stopping however
to land passengers at Poorhouseville, Hos
pitaltown, Prisonburg, GallowsVille, etc.
On Sunday, cars will be ready as usual
especially for way passengers until further
notice.
\. bah baggage at the risk of the
owners, and widows and orphans are partic
ularly requested not to inquire after person;
or property at Ruin Depot, as in no case the
Directors will hold themselves liable for ae
cidents to passengers.
WM. WHOLESALE, President.
RoBT. RETAIL, Vice-President.
a Hint" Father, what does printer