Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1869-12-31
HUMOROUS.
Something stunning-a slung shot.

Something stunning slung shot.
Girls say that men are coyet-us set.
Who takes things as they come ?;
thief
A Rcndout grocer notifies the public
that he has KNEW Slider for Sail. -
Do you know any word that contains all
the vowels?-unquestion
What word contains all the letters ?-the
alphabet
Mrs. Darlington don't favor woman's
| rights; she says its impossible.
A story Is told of a young man who was
going West to open a jewelry store.
When asked what capital he had, he re-
piled, "a crowbar.
What tent would it be well if We could
all dwell in Content.
IF you beat me, I'll call out the sol
diers, as the drum said.
When Patrick first tried peaches he said
he liked the flavor, but the seeds lay heavy
on his stomach.
Honesty" said the late Intelligent
Y, SIS the best policy, but the worst
diplomacy; have tried beth.
''What is that you're pointing at me =
asked a free-lunch champion. That sir,
shouted the restaurateur, is a revolver.
80, that's a revolver, * it, Don't care a
cent for a revolver; 1 thought it was a
stomach-pump.
In describing S new organ, a country
editor says 1.-The swell died away in deli
cious suffocation, like a person singing a
sweet song under the bedclothes
Definitions in ''plain English Ennui
-ill-temper. Dolce far niente-laziness
Decollete-half-undro On dit-scan-
dal. Ruse-a swindle.
An Incorporated society hired a man to
blast rock, says Mark Twain, and he was
punching powder into a hole with a crow
bar, when premature explosion followed,
sending the man and crOwbar out of sight
Both came down again all right; and the
man went to work again directly. But,
though he was gone only fifteen minutes,
they locked him for lost time.
A darkeys account of a sermon well,
sab, de sermon was upon de miracle Of de
loaves and fishes. De minister said how
der seven thousand lOaves and de five
thousand fishes divided between de twelve
apostles and dc miracle was dat dey
didn't burst -
A gentleman had Just taken his seat at
the dinner table, when the servant reported
a beggar at the door. Feeling in his pocket
for stamp" but finding none, he re-
piled, ''Tell him l haven't a shilling with
me, and resumed his dinner Presently,
the servant returned, with please, sir, he
says he can change note.
" Has a man, asked a prisoner of a St.
Louis magistrate, any right to commit a
nuisance?' "No, sir, not even the May
or. Then, sir, claim my liberty. l
was arrested as a nuisance, and as no one
has right to commit me, move for anon
suit
An Irishman, having accidentally broken
pane of glass in a window, was making
the best of his way to get out of sight as
well as mind, but, unfortunately for Pat,
the proprietor stole march on him, and
having seized him by the collar, exclaimed:
''YOu broke my window, fellow, did Won
not?' ''To be sure did, said Pat; land
didn't you see me running home for money
to pay for it ?
An enthusiastic admirer of beautiful
women recently startled a friend: ''Been
to church this morning, he assorted ''To
church," eyes, and such necks Full
and white and good enough to eat-six of
them all in a row; watched EN- all through
service. Oh, my what necks -
As a lawyer and doctor were walking
arm in arm, a wag said to a friend: These
two are just equal to one highwayman.
"Why?" was the response. Because it
is n lawyer and a doctor-your money or
your life.
The other afternoon, in Buffalo, n. y,
an excited individual with o well worn
carpet-bag in one hand, an umbrella in
the other, and shawl hanging over his
arm, accosted one of the street ganliRS at
the corner of Main and Exchange with the
question: ''Say, bub, which S the quick
est way for me TO get to the Erie Railroad
depot?' run, was the laconic response.
A New Orleans reporter was being shown
through the insane asylum the other day,
when he encountered very pretty blue
eyed damsel, who ct once rushed into his
arms, with the exclamation: "Oh, my dear
husband" The reporter wished to soothe
the agltatsd feelings of the little unfortu-
nate, and stroked her hair caressingly as
he replied: Why, my little dear, did you
think l would stay away from your
No, she innocently replied, lyon always
liked to kiss me. But you know you are
insane, my dear, he said Yes, she
replied, YEARLY, that's the reason kiss
you.
A Canadian clergyman, not long since,
was called upon by an Irish girl, who
asked how much he charged for marrying
He replied, "a dollar and
half, and Biddy departed. A few evenings
later, on being summond to the door, he
was accosted by the same person, with the
remark that she had come to be married
every well, said the minister; but per-
with establishment that she was
alone, he continued, "Where is the MANI"
An expression of disappointment passed
over Biddys features as she calculated:
''And don't you find the man for a dollar
and half?"