Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1869-01-07
WIT AND HUMOR.
Josh billings, Savings.

There seems TO be four styles of mind,
LIST, them who knows its sol
2nd, them who knowsit amt so.
Srd. them who split the difference, and
guess at it?
4th, them who don't care Darn which
way 1t is!
There is bu. few men who bez character
enuff TO lead life Of idleness.
True love is srelt just the same in Chuc>
taw that il is inIEnglish.
Those who retire from tho world on ac>
count of its sin and peskiness must not
forget that they have yet to keep CON-
pany with persons who wants just as much
watchin as anybody else.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets
but old dorgs have few assc cfates.
It costs good deal to be wise. but it
don't cost anything to be happy.
Necessity begits convenience, conven>
fence begiis pleasure, pleasure begirs lux
ury, luxury begits riot and disease, riot
and disease beglt poverty, poverty begot
necessity again-spd this is the revolution
Of man and is about all he can brag en-
Love lies bleeding,-!This is probably
one of the darpdest lies that is told.
When man loses his health, then he
just begins to take care On it. This is
good judgement, this is.
An individual 10 be a fine gentleman.
has either got to be born SC, or be brought
up SO from infancy; he cant learn il sue
den any MORE than he can learn how to
talk injun correcy by practicing on tom
ahawk.
Ii a man wants 10 get his actual dimen
siops LET him visit grave yard
l have sit down square on the ice by
bavin my feet git out of place, but never
could see anything ip it to laff at, especial.
ly if there was some water on the top of
the ice,) but / notice other folks can.
Precepts are like good buckwheat slap
jacks, nobody feels like being sassy to
them, and nobody wants TO adopt them
Ifany man wants 10 be an ola bachalor.
and get sick at boarding tavern and have
a back room in the 4th story and have a
red haired chambermaid bring his water
and Cruel to him in Tin wash tasin. |
have always said ard stick to it yet he has
a right to do it.
1t is dreadful easy to repent of other
folks sins-but not very profitable.
A Handsome young widow ap-
piled to physician to relieve her of
three distressing complaints with
WHICH she was affected.
SIN the first place." said she, II
have little or no apdetite. What
shall take for that"
"For that, Madam, you should
take aiI and exercise
land, doetor. ! am quite fidgety
at ghttime. and afraid to be alone.
What shall / take for that?"
"For that, Madapl ! can only rec
ommend that you take a husband. !"
"Fie. doctor But / have the
blues terribly. What shall 1 take
for that?'
''FOr that, Madam, you have be-
sides taking air and husband, to
take the newspaper"
7 he velocipede. has reached Con-
nersvile.
The Sullivan county poor asylum.
has Qnly six paupers, and the Jail is
empty.
Our old friend, Honorable Peter
kiser, of Fort Wayne is suffering
from ii, tappers.
The wife of an editor in Benton
presented her husband with a small
boy on. Christmas.
j. Hale, Orange County. recently
sold six hogs whose combined net
weight was 4,79S pounds.
Joseph Jackson, who was charg-
ed with forgery as an accomplice of
Frank Watson, the defaulting claim
agent. was tried in the criminal court
at La Fayette, last week, and honor
ably acquitted.