The Portland daily press., 1869-12-02
How Rev. j. Hyatt sn.iih chased a Ls-
comotive.

connective.
The following story is told by Rev. J. Hyatt
Smith:
eve stopped at Syracuse New York; for
dinner. You remember the railroad depot,
centrally situated, with its eastern and west
ern entrances exactly alike-as much SO as
the two ends of car. After we had dined,
the depot master informed me that we had
seventeen minutes to spare before the de-
parture OF the Eastern train. This, thought
l, VIII give me an opportunity TO see the city
ana glorious chance for 'smoke," provided
clerSymen could be tempted into such a
piece of wasteful and worldly amusement. 1
sauntered forth, and after an absence of ex-
actly thirteen minutes, having enjoyed a de-
lightful and soothing stroll, l was leisureIy
returning, watch in hand, when, to my sud
den astonishment, beheld the train slowly
gliding out at the other end of the depot,
and increasing its speed at every puff OF its
gigantic locomotive.
Here indeed was "clll" that admitted of
neither correspondence nor delay; there was
no time for 'taking it into consideration"
So, without comforting with flesh or blood,
put oil like sky-rocket with a double fuse.
For moment thought had it all my own
way; l thought | was gaining ground, al
though knew was losing wind. was en-
:ouroSed in the race by sundry helpful fel-
lows who kept crying out as L passed, $50 it,
CATERS" "Plucky boy p "He amt left, o nor'
and other well meaning and benignant ex-
hortations. Though they intended perhaps
helping me over the course, found that the
| more they shouted the less inclined / was to
run, and the more decidedly did the locomo-
tive make terrible headway against me. To
give up the chase; to submit to the chagrip
of being left; to lose my party and my pass
age; to meet with disappointment and not to
meet with friends, all this was bad enough;
but the thought of encounterius all the way
back to the depot, that line of interested in
dividuals who with their cheering exclama-
tions had so feelingly encouraged me on my
outward journey, this was the bitterest pill in
this unexpected dose.
But it must be done, so tapering off gradual
ly gave up the contest and turned back to
meet my fate, and-ifI could find him-the
depot master whose laundering statements
were the cause of all my trouble. Without
search that individual advanced to greet me
with the bland recognition of a fact that no
one could well deny, "Well, you got left, did
you?" L replied only with the resentment Of
"silencing eye." Ii L looked as L tried to
look, my photograph taken at that instant
would hardly be chosen TO grace an album
gallery of eminent divines.' Several by
ISLANDERS seeking information, asked, with a
show of confidential interest in my case, on
WAdb WloC JUG tuli5 hdu udppCuCu1 anu Otu-
ers wishing "to point moral" advised me to
be on hand little earlier next time" With
returning breath relief and words came to-
gether, and l squarely charged the railroad
official with all the blame. spoke of his in
competency, in no measured terms, recalling
how that after had placed my party in the
car he had assured me that there were full
seventeen minutes to spare sbefore the train
went out; "while here," said /, with trium-
pbant py yhibtiOp nj NV watch @tba savantpaD
minutes are even now barely up, and yet the
train is gone and out of sight"
After no little hot shot cast back and forth,
with the usual variations and final perora-
tions of"you did and you didn't" "you're an
other" etc., asked him whether would be
risking another chance of being left if L de-
pended upon him to give me the exact hour
"Easternp exclaimed he. "Yes, Eastern, )" 1
replied, with decidedly upward and sarcas-
tic infection. "Why," quoth he, 1.-THE train
you've just been chasing with such good luck
wasn't an Eastern train, but the Western ex-
pressp With much and interesting confusion
and excitement l stammered out, "Then
where in Joppa Is the Eastern train ?""Why,
there it is" replied he, ':just, getting under
way at the other end of the depot; leg 1t, or
you'll lose that" If ever 1 did make Dexter
time made it then. passed right through
that depot like the wind. felt as if L was
all legs. One glance, however, at the door of
the last car as was nearing it came near be-
ing too much for me. discovered the group
of my long lost friends, whose forms and
faces seemed bursting with poorly suppressed
and ill-timed mirtb.
As L reached safely the platform, the fire
that opened upon me could only be equalled
for its merciless effect by the fire in the rear,
from which had providentially fed. l heard
jibes and jokes and jeers. 1 heard the hoarse
laughter of full-chested men, the hysterical
effort of mirth-exhausted women. They had
all witnessed my chase after the wrong train;
now fearful lest indeed l should overtake it,
and thenfejoiced at my evident lack Of what
jockeys call "bottom," as my speed began TO
slacken and my chances with the locomotive
began to grow "small by degrees and beauti-
fully less" They had witnessed the "blowing
up" administered the depot master, the
strange procrastinaton in starting for the
right train, until at length it had actually
started, and | had entered upon a second
"stern chase" Then they feared l was left
again, as they looked with breathless interest
at the unequal contest of legs rerSus loco
motive. They had witnessed my final tri-
umph, but how gracefully l was welcomed,
and with what feelings l received their pc
culiar congratulations, leave my readers to
imagine