The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-10-15
MARK TWAIN.
The Letter rom him Read ut the "CalifOrnia
Pioneer Hanquet.o

The Letter rom him Read mt the "CalHOrhla
Pioneer Banquet."
Yesterday banquet was given 10 the CaluoInla
PioOners in New York. at which the Following nghly
interesting, hugely instructive, and intensely ANUS
ing letter from Mark Twain was Tead;m p,oroor.
Gentlemen circumstances render IL out Ol my
power TO take advantage Of the invitation eNtenued
TO me through Mr.. SimontOn, and be present a your
dinner in New York ] regret this very mucn, Tor
there are several among you whom Woud i,aYe ii a
right to Join hands with on me score 9i Oiu
right to shake hands with the rest OF you on Ine
score of knship in Californian ups and d9Wns III
search of fortune. If | were to tell some OF my eA-
periences YOU would recognize Californian Doou IN
me, fancy. The old old story would sOuhd ItInI-
liar doubt have the usual STOCK oI renllIls emu,
cenCes For instance, went TO Esmeralda early l
purchased largely in the "Wtde west, the W INIT @
mucca," and other fine claims ana was very
wealthy | Jared sumptuOusy on bread Wnen nour
was two hundred dollars barrel, ana had Deans
for dinner every Sunday, when none Dut p1oaeeq
aristocrats could afford such grandeur But |
finished by feeding batteries in quartz mn at
fifteen dollars week, and wishing l was
S battery myself and had somebody 10 Ieed
me. NV claims in Esmeralda are there YET. L sup
pose | could be persuaded to sell. l went 10 tne
Humboldt District when 1t was neW' became
largely interested in the abba NueVa, anu ouiSI
claims with gorgeous names, and was rlch agaln-ln
prospect. owned vast mining properly Ihere.
would not have sold out for less than iQur hunureu
thousand dollars at that time. But VIII now.
Finally, walked home-some two hundred miles
partly for exercise and partly because stage iares
were expensive. Next l entered upon an atnuent l1
career in Virginia City, and by Judlcl0us invest
ment of labor and the capital OF friends became the
owner OF about all the worthless wildcat mines tnere
were in that part Of the country. Assessments dld
the business for me there. There were a hundred
and seventeen assessments to one dividend, and the
proportion of income to outlay was q llttle against
me. My financial thermometer went down to 80 deg.
Fahrenheit, and the subscriber was frozen OUT. i
took up extensions on the main lead-eXtenslons
that reached to British America IN one direction and
to the Isthmus of Panama in the other-and verify
believe ] would have been a rich man If l mad
ever found those Internal extensions. But
az 1nHf
Arctic Ocean, and sunk shafts till broke through
the roof OF perditon; but those extensions turned
up missing every time. | am willing to sell all that
property and throw in the improvements. Perhaps
you remember the celebrated "North Ophir"
bought that mine 1t was very rich in pure silver.
You could take 1t out in Jumps as large as hlDert
But when it was discovered that those Jumps were
melted half dollars, and hardly melted at that,
painful case of "saltng" was apparent and the un-
dersigned adjourned TO the poorhOuse again. | paid
assessments on "Hale NOrcrOssn till they sold me
out and had to take I'm washing for living-and
the next month that Infamous stock went up 10
seven thousand dollars a foot / own millions and
millions OF feet OF aluen silver leads in Nevada
in fact, own the entire undercrust of that country
nearly, and if Congress would move that State OF
my property, so that / could get at il, would be
wealthy yet But no, there she squats; and here am
L. Failing health persuades me to sell. II you know
of any one desiring permanent investment, / can
furnish him one that viii have the virtue of being
eternal
have been through the Californian mill, with all
its "dips spuIs ana angles variations ana sinuos-
ties" have worked there at all the different trades
been everything, from newspaper editor down TO n
cow-catcher on q locomotive, and / am encouraged
to believe that il there had been few more occupa-
tons to experiment Onl might have made daz-
zling at last, and found out what mysterious
design Providence had in view in creating me.
But you perceive that although am not pioneer,
| have had sufficiently variegated time of it to
enable me to talk pioneer like native and feel like
FOrty-niner. Therefore, cordially welcome you to
your old remembered homes and your long deserted
resdes and close this screed with the sincere hope
that your visit here viii be happy one, and unem-
btteTed by the sorrOwful surprises that absence and
lapse of years are wont to prepare for wanderers
surprises which come in the form of old friends
missed from their Places silence where familiar
voices should be; the young grown old change and
decay everywhere home a delusiOn and a dsap-
pOntment; strangers at the hearthstOne; sorrow
where gladness was tears for laughter; the melan-
chOly pOmp OF death where the grace OF life had
been!
With all good wishes for the returned prOdigas,
and regrets that cannot partake OF small piece OF
the fatted calf rare, and no gravy, am yours, cor
daily, MARX TW M