The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-09-23
The pcrils of Drinking Bad whiskey.

Many years ago when the State OF Georgia
was in its infancy, one of the Circuit judges
was Bella Brown, an ancestor of the recent
''secesh" Governor of that name. He was
man Of ability and integrity, but like good
many distinguished persons of that day, he
loved social glass and whenever the mem
bers of the bar would turn in and help, he
sometimes drank to excess and became glori-
ousy fuddled. On one occasion while tray
cling on his circuit he reached the village Of
Dayton, In Dooly county, where the court was
to be opened next day, and took quarters with
relative of his wife, that lady accompan ying
him. After supper Judge Brown strolled
over to the only tavern in the place, kept by
one Sterritt, where he met a. number of his
legal friends. A conviyial evening was pass
ed; drinks frequently went round, and some
where about midnight, the Honorable Bella
was IN state of mind quite the reverse of
th-t implied by the old saying, Sober as a
Judge" When he was leaving for home, one
Of the young lawyers, in spirit Of mischief,
slyly passed some spoons from the tumblers
iuto the Judges pocket
On dressing himself next morning, the
eccentric official, putting his hand into his
pocket, was greatly perplcxed in discovering
three or four silver spoons. 'g7
"My God Polly" said he to his wife,
"just look here, | believe I've stolen some of
Stcrritt's spoons p s..s ~. ,tF
Lets see them," says the wife F." es,
sure enough-hcre's his veritable initials !!
Pray how did you happen to have them in
your pockct?" ,a
:: think must have been drunk when
how, Al TT
"Yes,' replied the devoted Polly, "you
know your old habit when you get among
those lawyers" $50.
Certainly; | can understand easy enough
how it all came about. That fellow, Sterritt
keeps the meanest liquor in the State; but
never supposed that to drink it would make a
man steal r
The spoons were duly returned to the land
lord, and the Judge went and opened his
court, thinking no more about the matter -
Several days elapsed, and the business of the
court was drawing to close when one morn
ing rough looking customer was arraigned
before His Honor for larceny. He pleaded
Guilty, but said in mitigation that he was
drunk at the time of committing the offence.
!" What is the nature Of the charge against
the man p inquired Judge Brown.
"Stealine money from the till at Sterritt's
tavern" replied the clerk.
+. Young man" said the Judge, solemnly
care you sure you were intoxicated when you
took this money!" s.
4" Yes, your Honor, / was SO jolly drunk
that things locked like they were dancing
double shufies, and when went out doors
the ground kept coming up and hitting ne in
the head.'' s=9g,.lslg i..,.s, il
L." That will do" replied the Judge. g But
tell me, did you get all the liquor you drank
at Sterritt's ?" 1-..,...e.. =.
Every drop of it, your Honor"
And so you got tipsy on his liquor and
then stole his money!"
'"That's it exactly; didn't know what l
was doing" ',''i Z. as-s'i =
Turning to the prosecuting attorney, the
worthy magistrate said: This is a most
extraordinary case Mr.. Attorney, and one, I
think, demanding the clemency of the Court
You will, therefore, do me the favor of enter
ing noNe PROSE-. That liquor Of Sterritt's |
have reason to know, is mean enough to make
man do anything dirty [ got drunk on it
myself the other night, and stole all his
spoons. If Sterritt will sell such abominable
stuff, he ought not to have the protection Of
this court. You may release the prisoner,
Mr.. Sheriff. -Aayusta (Ga) Constitutional