Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1869-01-28
The Josh Billings Papers-Klss.
Ing.

lOIc IBAs ciC, hIu tIlcN uluH sdslSly
me, nor dew think this one will, tor
the more = man undertakes tew tell
about kiss the more he will reduce
his ignorance to science.
Yu kant analize kiss emmy more
than yu kan the breath ov flour. Yu
kant tell what makes kiss taste so
good emmy more than yu kan peach.
Emmy man who kan set down. WHARF
it is cool, and tell how a kiss tastes,
haiut got emmy more real flavor tew
his mouth than knot hale haz. Such
| a phcllo wouldn't hesitate tew describe
Paradise as lust rate place tor gardln
sass.
The only way tew describe kiss is
tew take one. and then set down, awl
alone, out ov the draft, and smack yure
lips.
If you kant satisfy yureselt how q
kiss tastes without taking another one
how on arth kan WI define it tew tho
next man?
l hav heard writer's talk about the
egstattick bliss there was in kiss, and
they really seemed tew think they
knew awl about 1t. but these are the
same kind ov folks who perspire and
kry when they read poetry, and then
tall tew writing some ov their own
and think they have found out how.
want it understood that | am talk.
ing about pure emotional kissing that
is born in the heart, and flies tew the
lips, like humming bird tew her roost.
l am not talking about your lazy,
milk and molasses kissing. that daubs
the tace OF emmy body. nor your savage
bite that goes around like a roaring
lion in search of something to eat.
Kissing an unwilling pair ov lips IL
az mean viktory az Robin birds
nest, and kissing too willing ones IL
about as untragrant recreation az
making boquets out ov dandelions.
The kind ov kissing .nat am talk
ing about IL the kind that mus. Go It
or spile.
It you sarch the rekords ever so
lively, you kant find the author ov the
tust kiss; kissing, like much other good
things. IL anonymous.
But thar iz such natur IN it, stitch
world ov language without words,
such heaD ov pathos without fuss, 50
much honey and SO little water, so
cheap, SO sudden and SO neat mode
of striking up an acquaintance, that |
consider it good purchase that Adam
give and got the tust kiss.
Who kan imagin greater lump ov
earthly bliss, reduced tew finer thing
than kissing the only woman on earth,
in the garden ov Eden.
Adam wasn't the man, don't be-
lieve, to pass sich hand.
| may be wrong in mi konklusions,
bu, if emmy boldly kan aate kissing fur
ther back, l would like tew see them
do it.
Idon't know whether the old stock
philosophers ever kisst emmy boldly or
not; if they did they probably did it
like drafting theorem on black
board, more tor the purpose ov prov
ing something else.
| do hate to see this delightful in
vigorating beverage adulterated, it IL
nektar for the gods, but ] am often
obliged to stand still and see kissing
did, and not say a word, that haint got
emmy more novelty, nor meaning i'll it,
than throwing stones ,ew Il marx.
| saw two mayden ladys kiss yester
day on the north side ov the Union
Square, . times in less than 10 minutes;
they kist every time they bid each other
farewell, and then Immediately thought
sv sumthing else they hadn't .sed
couldn't tell tor the life of me whether
the kissing waz the etfekt ov what they
ed, or what they sed waz the etfekt ovo
the kissing. 1t waz which and tother
scene.
Cross-matched kissing IL undoubted-
ly the strength ofthe grain. 1t iztrew,
thare iz no stattu regulashun against
two females kissing each other; but |
don't think thare il much pardon for
it, unless it IL done to keep tools in
order; and two men kissing each other
iz prima tacc evidence ov dead beatery.
Kissing that passes from parent to
child, and back agin, seems tew be az
necessary AZ shinplasters to do bizzi-
mes. with; aud kissing that husbands
give and take il simply gathering ripe
fruit tro., ones own plum tree that
would otherwise drop oph or be stolen.
Thareforc | am driv tew konklude
tew git out NV the corner that mi re-
marks hav chased me into, that the lie
ov kiss IL only tew be had once in
phello's lite, in the original package,
and that IL when -
Not tew waste the time oy the read
er, hav thought best moi tew finish
the abuv sentence, hoping that thare
amt no person ov good edukashun
and decent memory but what kan reck
olekt the time which refer to, with.
cut emmy ov mi help.
II We may place implicit faith in the
assertions OF writers now in China, the
reason civilization has never extended
in that Empire is because the religion
Of the people is OF the dead, and their
every motive of acton has reference
to the dead. The present Cinnamon
are dragging thirty generations around
with them. A railroad running ten