The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1869-06-23
Wit and Humor.
A bad omen-To owe men money,
Hight of fashion-ladies' hair.

A bad omen-To owe men money.
Hight of fasbion-ladies' hair.
Why is Irritation like plate powder Be,
cause it rubs up the spoons.
Solitude-A good place tew visit but a
poor place tew stay.
A A" smile " that foretells sorrcw-tho one
you take in bar-room.
The bachelor has to look out for number
one-the married man for number two.
! An old lady, hearing somebody say the
mails were very irregular. said: Il: was
just 80 in my youngs days-no trusting any
of EN-
| They have at Portland, Me, what is called
Widows Wood Society,"" Who ever
heard of widow that wouldn't
| Things l don't like to see and hear.--I
don't like to see more than twenty children
| in the same family.
| don't like to see curls and slender waists,
| unless they are obtained honestly-but how's
fellow to tell?
don't like to hear young men say they
can marry any one they want: it shows
there is something wrong in the upper
story
The papers relate an aneodote of beau
tiful young lady, who had become blind.
having recovered her sight after marrigc.
Whereupon Smooks wickedy observes that
it is no uncommon thing for peoples eyes TO
be opened by matrimony.
a TOLEDO paper mentions Young Indian
| there who considers himself in full lrax~
| when he has a red flannel string around his
neck.
An old bachelor, seeing the words :. fa,oi-
lies supplied over the door of a shop, stem
ped in and said he would take wife and
two children.
prisoner, you have heard the complaint
for habitual drukenness what have you 70
say in your defence" Nothing, please
your honor, but habitual thirst.
Have you seen my black-faced ante
lope :" inquired the manager of menagere
"No, l haven't" was the reply. "Whom
did you black faced aunt elope with -
A man once went TO all eccentric lawyer
to be qualified for some petty office The
lawyer said to him: Hold up your hand,
I'll swear you but all creation couldn't
qualify YOU"
Remember who you are talking to, sir :"
said an indignant parent to a fractious boy,
I'm your father, sir,' .sWell, who's to
blame for that" said young impertinence
" taint me!'
The last case ofindolence is that of u NAN
named John Hole, who was so law that, in
writing his own name, he simply used the
letter "J," and then punched hole through
the paper.
How fast they build houses now - said
IL. "They began that building last week,
and now they are putting in the lights"
Yes, answered his friend, . and next week
they will put in the liver
The poet Longfellow, at a party III Boston,
asked French gentlemen, who happened to
be present, why he seemed so sad and unhap.
py at that moment! To which the latter
replied, +" Ne very mosh dissati-fy. Nc jus
hear dat my fadere be dead"
Mrs Jones has long haan wanting TO visit
Greenwood Cemetery, and in early Summer
she says to her husband, :" You have never
yet taken me to Greenwood" mo DEAR
he replide; that's pleasure ! have vet
only had in inticipatien.''
There is no more ludicrous sight than the
impressive dignity of drunkurd. Such Il
one fell down a flight of stairs in Bellows
Falls. Vt, the other night. and passer-by,
fearing him seriously injured, ran to pick
him up. But the man majestically stre-
gered to his feet. and in response to the prof
fered aid. roared out: snow you ies lemme
lone. Wan no slobberin' aroun me. I
allus come down stairs that way
Have you ground ell the tools right, as
told you this morning when went away ?"
said a carpenter to rather green lad whom
he had taken for an apprentice.
"An but the handsaw, SIR" was tho
prompt reply: II couldn't get all the gaps
out of that"