The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1869-01-15
THE HUSBAND IN THE KITCHEN.
4 Morse Legend.

Once upon a time there was man 20
suriy and cross that he never thought
So one evening in hay-making time be
came home scolding and swearing, and
showing his teeth and making dust.
Dear love, don't be angry; there's .
good man" said his goOdy. 'To-mOr-
row let's change our work. I'll go with
the mowers and NOW, and you shall
mind the house"
Yesi the husband thought that
would do very WELL He was quite
willing, he said.
So early next morning his goody took
q seythe over her shoulder and went In.
to the bayfield, with the mowers and
began to NOW; but the man was 20
mind the house aud do the work ct
home.
First of all he wanted to churn but
ter, and when he had churned awhile he
got thirsty, and went down into the
cellar to tap barrel of ale. So, just
when he had knocked in the bung. and
was putting the tap into the cask. he
heard the pig come into the kitchen oV-
erhead. Then off he AN up the cellar
stairs, with the tap in his hand, as fast
as he could, to look after the pig, lest Is
should upset the churn. But when no
got up and saw that the pig had already
knocked the churn over. and stood there
roo ing and grunting among the creams
which was running all over the floor, he
got SO wild with rage that he quite for
got the ale barrel, and ran at the pig a.
hard as he could. He caught it, too, just
as it ran out of doors, and gave it such
kick that piggy hay dead on the spot.
Then, all at once, he remembered that he
had the tap in his hand, and when he got
down to the cellar every drop of ale
had run out of the cask.
4 s,,Ao lit \ n. =
| cream left TO fill the churn again; and
| SO he began to churn for butter they
must have for dinner. When he had
churned q bit he remembered that their
| milking cow was still shut up in the
byre, and hadn't had bit to eat or Q
drop to drink all the morning, though
! the sun was high. Then all at once he
| thought it was too far to take her to the
| meadow, so he'd just get her up en- the
house-top-for the house, you HAHst
know, was matched with sods, and 3
| fine crop of grass was growing there.
Now their house lay close up against .
steep down, and he thought if he laid .
plank across the thatch at the back, he'd
easily get the cow up.
But still he couldn't leave the churu,
| for there was his little babe crawling
| about ON the floor, and if he left it, he
thought, the child was sure to upset Il.
| went out with it, but then he thought
he'd better first water the COW before he
| turned her Out on the thatch so he took
up q bucket to draw water out of the
well but as he stopped down at the
| wells brink, ali the cream ran out of the
| churR over his shoulders and SO down
| into the we'll
Now it was near dinner time, and he
had not even got the butter yet; SO he
i h ho hoo b.atI A1a<a Ie.<.
and filed the pot with water and hung
| 1t over the fire. When he had done that
he thought the cow might perhaps fall
off the thatch and break her legs or
neck. So he got up on the house to tie
| her up. One end of the rope he tied
fast to the cows neck, and the other he
slipped down the chimney, and tied
round his own thigh and he began to
make haste, for the water now began to
boil in the pot, aud he had still to grind
the oatmeal
So he began to grind away; but while
he was hard at it, down fell the cow
off the house-top after all, and as she
fell she dragged the man up the chimney
by the rope. There he stuck fast and
as for the COW, she hung half way dOwa
the WALL swinging between heaven and
earth, for she could neither get down or
up.
| And now the goody had waited seveN
4 lengths and seven breadths for her hue
band to come and cali them to dinner
but never q call had they had. At last
she thought she'd waited long enough,
and went home. But when she got
there, and found the cow hanging ia
such an ugly place, she ran up aud cut
the rope ia two with her scythe. But,
as she did this, down came her husband
out of the chimney; and SO when bis
old dame came inside the kitchen, there
she found him standing on his head in
the pOrridge pot.