North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-05-05
McGRECoR, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, MAY s, 1862

A Gams Dinnsr.
The following story, though by nc
means new, possesses sufficient piquancy tc
sanction its being repeated, particularly
since it has been out Of print for a numbe,
years:
Shortly after the war with Great Brit.
ain, an aristocratic English gentleman
built residence in the vicinity of Fort
George, on the Niagara frontier, and, in
accordance with the old country idea oil
exclusiveness, enclosed his ground with q
high, tight fence. Here he lived like an
old English gentlemen-one of the olden
time-with the exception that none bu,
the elite Of the province and the officers Of
the neighboring garrisons were permitted
to pass his gate. There was very good
understanding between the American Of:
fcers at Fort Niagara and the British o,
Fort George, and the men were permitted
occasionally to visit back and forth. Among
the American soldiers was q queer chap,
who suffered terribly, was very fond Of
hunting, and was always getting into some
sort of mischief.
One day this chap took the small boat
that lay moored at the foot Of the walls of
the fort, and crossed over to the Canadian
shore for hunt. He wandered over sew
eral miles in the rear of fort George, with
out meeting any game, and on his return,
seeing crow on tree within the inclos.
ure of the aristocratic Englishman, he
scaled the hiAh fence, fred, and brought
down his game. The Colonel, or whatever
his title may have been-we will call him
Colonel, any how-witnessed the trausac-
ton, and advanced while our soldier was
reloading. He was very angry, but seeing
the Yankee standing coolly with loaded
gun in his hand, he gulped down his pas
sion for the moment, and merely asked
him if he had killed the crow. The soldier
replied be had.
II am svrry," said the Colonel, "for he
was pet. By the by, that is very
pretty gun-will you be so kind as to let
me look at it2''
The soldier complied with the request.
The Englishman took the gun, stepped
back few PAGES, took deliberate aim, and
then broke forth in TRADE of abuse, con.
Guiding with an order to stoop down and
take bite of the crow, or he would blow
his brains out. The soldier explained,
apologised, and entreated. 1t was of no
use. The Colonel kept his finger'on the
trigger, and sternly repeated his command.
There was shoot in the Englishman's
eys-there was no help for it-and the
suffering soldier stopped and took bite
of the crow, but swallow it he could not.
Up came his breakfast-his dinner the day
beforehand it really appeared as il he
would throw up his toe nails. The Eng
lishman gloated over the misery IF his VIC
tim, and smiled complacensly at every
additional heave. When he had got thro'
vomiting and wiping his eyes, the Colonel
handed him his gun, with the remark
"Now, you rascal, that will teach you
how to po,ch on gentleman's enclosure.
The Yankee soldier took his sun, and
the Colonel might have seen the devil in
his eye if he had looked close. Stepping
back, he took deliberate aim at the heart
of his host, and ordered him instantly to
finish the crow. Angry expostulation,
prayers, and entreaties were useless things.
There was shoot in the American eye then,
as there had been in the English eye be-
fore. There was no help at hand, and he
took bite of the crow. One bite was
enough to send all the good dinners he had
lately eaten on the ssme journey with the
garrison fare of the soldier, and, while the
Englishman was in an agony of sickness,
Jonathan escaped to the American shore.
The next morning early the commandant
Of Fort Niagara was sitting in his quarters,
when Colonel - was announced. "Sir,"
said Colonel -, 81 come to demand the
punishment of one of your men, who yes
terday entered my premises and committed
u great outrage"
ave have three hundred men here, and
it would be difficult for me to know who it
is you mean,' said the American officer.
The Englishman described him as q
long, dangling, suffering, stoop-shoulder-
ed devil.
"Ah ! know who you mean," said the
officer: he is always getting into mischief.
Orderly, call Tom."
In o few moments Tom entered, and
stood all attention, as straight as his natu-
raj build would allow, while not trace of
emotion was visible in his countenance.
"Tom," said the officer, "do you know
this gentleman?''
"Yeyerye-yes, sir"
s'Where did you ever sec him befoHe?'
'II-I," said Tom, suffering awfully,
but retaining the grave expression natural
to bis face, II di-di di.dined with him yes
terday." 4
We believe Tom was not punished.
His Style OF DEscENr.-Shortly before
Browns Hotel was closed, he was dry
as usual, under the influence of benzine,