Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-04-10
An Artist "DOesn Europe, Asia and Africa a
In Less than Half Column.

John r. Johnston, the artist who has re.
Gently returned from trip across the water
was not remarkably impressed by the antiqui-
ties of the Old World. In fact, he is inclined to
believe that there is great deal of humbug
about them. We will let him sum up Europe,
ASIA Africa, etc, in his own words:
Went to Alexandria-crossed portion of the
Great Desert on camel's back-easier for a
rich man TO go through the eye of n needle than
Tor camel TO paint portraits s-desert no great
shakes-got better dessert at American ho-
tel dinner. Went TO Damascns-bought a Da-
mascus sblade-humbng-blad made in Akron
Ohio. Went to Jerusalem-hired a guide for
his board-a regular guide board-never was so
much bored in my lite-Jerusalem full of sec
ond-hand clothing stores-bought fragment of
Solomon's tempe-enough fragments of Solo
mons temple sold every year to build Cincin-
natl. Visited the eNile-humbug-no water priv
ileges worth dam - don't wonder no one
knows sources of the Nile-ereatest wonder that
anybody cares where they are-Licking river
beats the Nile. Saw the mummes-made in
London, every one of them, by a Massachusetts
Yankee, and sent to Egypt. Looked at the pyr-
amids Recollected that Napoleon said to his
soldiers From the tops of yonder pyramids
forty centuries are looking down upon you"
No such thing; went up there and inquired ::
III,
the Sphynx capital likeness of Ben Butler.
Went to ltaly-bought monkey and hand or
gan, and learned to speak Italian in two hours {;
monkey died and hand organ exploded t
been able to speak Italian since Saw Carl
baldi at Naples. lie wept bitterly over nv
shonlders-borrowed half a dollar, and said be
wanted to come to America and be n second
George Washington. He is coming to Cincin-
natl next summer to open lager beer saloon,
headquarters for DISTINGUISHED orpan orind A.
ers. bought place in Vienna and am TO pay
for it in Confederate scrip. Crossed over the
bridge of Siehs-no size at all. Saw where the
Dodge of Venice married the Adratic There
was Mormon there a while ago. He not only
married the Adriatic, but all the streams in the
neighborhood. Saw where Conova's heart was
buried. When Conova died his body was cut up
and burned all over Europe. All the big cities
wanted piece of him. They do ii different
now. If an artist gets up a reputation - like
myself for instance-they cut him up in the
newspapers. Saw the ruins Of Greece-(depre-
ciatcd oil stock, mostly. Saw the old mas
ters-viainous old daubs. One of these old
masters couldn't get situation at house paint
ing if he were alive to-day Went to Rome
dined by Buchanan Reed and Randolph Rogers
Inquired for Julius Caesar, but he wasn't in that
day-gone to turkey shoot on the Isle of Crete
don go much on the lie. Saw IIerculaneum
ALL a humbug-the ashes that buried it didn't
come from Nesuvius-drawn on iu carts All
a speculation to sell relics. Saw the Hellespont
-waded across it. Leander drowned himself a
purpose, just to make a hero of himself Went
and looked at the Rhne-muddy little dixie
castles all look like stone moke-houses-went
across it-rather go "across the canal" Saw
eruption of Mount Vesuvius-country fireworks
on the Fourth of July beat it any time. Tell
you Europe is a humbug. Nothing in it,