The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-02-05
snare Lines.

Akey tina. ats everybodys trunk-rurkey.
bachelors are almost always singular fellows.
Liberty Il tho right TO do whatever you wish
without interfering with the rights Of Others.
Dentists are favored with more open eounse-
nanees than any other class.
There Il only one thing worse than ignorance,
and that IL conceit. or all intractable fools an
ovcrwise man II the worst.
II man has any religion worth having, he wiz
do HE duty and not make fuss about It, i' Is the
empty kettle that ratties-
An old lady hearing OF pedestrians great
feat wondered why they didn't interfere WI"
his fast walking.
A war lent n clergyman n horse which ran
.w.v and threw him, and then claimed credit for
aid In spreading the gospel
There is n man who has such good temper
that he hires himself out In summer to keep poo
pie cool.
I'm what particular Is prudent man like pin
because his head prevents him non gong TOO
Ear.
Aeynical husband says that the only good run
NJ luck he ever had was when his wife ran away
fromhim
eve see,p says swim, in one Of his sarcastic
moods, .what God thinks OF riches by the people
he give them too"
A little boy returning from sunday school, said
IN his mother, "Ma, aint there a ktten-chism for
little boys, The catechism Is too hardp
The people OF Utah want mail facilities
The males Of that territory have more fachities
there now than In any other portion Of the coun-
try.
Much OF the true spirit OF religion Is contained
I'm Augustine's immortal prayer "Giye what
Thou commanded, and command what Thou
wilt
A deceased Mason Is revealing the secrets OF
the Order through his daughter, a medium, and
tells all he knows for twenty-five cents. Many
tell more than they know for less than that.
A western paper, on the lst OF January, said,
"Our article on the fight Of time Is necessarily
omitted, owing to the absence Of our nishty cd
itor."
suasion Is better than force-sweet than bitter
--cheerfuiness than crossness. II you have new
CIR tried any Of the first OF each kind, do so with.
out delay. he sensible and see how II seems; In
other words agreeably surprise yourself and all
your acquaintance. s.
The Grecian bend Is not popular In New York.
The small boys are very rude when they see
girI wriggling along with decided crook, and
they organize a following party, each one bent
double under the seeming asonies OF the stom'
ach ache. Young America seems likely 10 drive
the folly out Of the strcst.
Its reported that Brigham Young has express.
ell his intention of retiring into private life But
how on earth win he do that when be has quite
small village full of wivesy Poor feilowI when
we reflect ON his oyermarried condition we do
not indulge in the oft.repeated wish-"oh. that
we were Youngp
Among the obituary notices Of country paper
we recently noticed the following: "Mr. - Of
Malvern, aged eighty.three, passed peacefully
away, ON Tuesday evening last, from single-bless-
edness 10 matrimonial bliss, amer short but sud
den attack by Mrs. -, u blooming widow Of
thirty.nye."
visitor To a prison asked a prisoner why he
had been sent there.
"For false encouragement, was the reply.
sFalse encouragement What do you meanf'
81 encouraged one hundred and forty.three
women to believe that l was going 10 marry
them"
A clergyman having preached during Lent In a
small town, In which he had not once been invited
10 dinner, said, in a sermon eShorting his parish
toner's against being seduced by the prevailing
vices Of the age: 81 have preached against every
vice but luxurious living, having had no opportu-
nity OF observing to what extent Il Is carried on
In this town"
A newspaper clerk some time ago sold my pa
pers TO a negro, who promises faithfully TO pay
for them very sosn. The other day the clerk en-
countered and dunned him;
"Look here, you freedman; when are you go
ing TO pay for those papersT'
"Don't trouble me, boy; don't trouble me-" re-
Piled Cuffee, assuming an air OF business, and nj
the same time getting out OF the way, "Fs taken
,ssd De sanlrsytey-no use to say nufiin more on
dat subjick.'
A friend relates the following "goak:" party
OF men were surveying for a railroad, and OF
course they are entitled to the best there Is along
the line. At one house they thought the proprie-
tor was n little tardy In producing the cider. IL
came at last. and was tasted by one Of the party
with great dellberation. SHOW much cider did
Won make this yearl' he asked. "fineen bar
reis, ~ was the answer Another sip. "weil, IL
you had another apple, you might have made an
other barrel"
A good man, but Illinstructed, out west, had
call 10 preach. Being unable TO read, he employ.
ell A friend TO read the selection from the Scrip
lures. ON one occasion the chapter was the I'D
of Genesis. which contains these words: These
eight did Micah bear TO Major, Abrams broth
err, From these words he proceeded rs foliowsi
"Brethrcn and sisters, let us consider our bless
ings. We have all the comforts OF life. wehaVe
frocks and herds and gladncss. Morning and eve
ming our wives and daughters milk the cows, and
our wants are all supplied. In the days OF good
old Abram the case was different; for then, rs
YOU have heard, II took eight TO milk bear, and
they didn't get much at that"