Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1869-12-22
The CHRONICLE.
VARIOUS

Table sauee-Impudence at a meal.
Good name for a bull dog-Agrppa.
All the rage.A woman in high
temper.
A horn of plenty-A tumbler two
thirds full.
Illegal pharmacy-Compounding a
felony.-Ftm.
Limited Observation-Disclosures in
Chicago.
Why is a balloon like silence? Be
cause it gives ascent.
indianapolis has 2e9 colored child
ren in her schools.
Fur-tive glances-LoOking at the
ladies in their sable robes.
Big thing on ice-A skater weigh
ing two hundred and fifty.
The weazel and champagne resem-
bic each other-they so pop.
Henry Ward Beecher has a female
shorthand reporter named Nellie
Wood.
The man who took a thing all in at
a glance is suspected of stealing pro-
clivities.
The person who drew it mild was
an artist and was at work on a sum-
mer sunset.
"Autum," says a wag, sis the time
to read big books, because the season
turns the leaves"
The less you have of some things
the better. As, for instance, nothing
to reproaeh yourself with.
"First come first served" as the
man said to the intruder, at the same
time kicking him down stairs.
Catching at straws isn't such a use
less proceeding a might be supposed,
especially if there are julSps and cob
lers at hand.
A lady in New York is spoken Of
by a critic as having speaking fin
gers" She ought to be able to make
an Off-hand speech.
A story is told of a young man who
was going West to open a jewelry
store. When asked what capital he
had, he replied: "a erowbar."
Calm philosophy of an Atlanta ed
itor: "A Ku Klux editor calls us a
liar, but we haye not sufficient conf
dence in his word to believe him."
Henry A. Delille (Olive Logan's
husband is the Paris correspondent
of the New York Express, and has
never shown any disposition to shoot.
The proprietor of a Boston bone
mill adyertises that persons sending
their own bones to be ground will be
attended to with punctuality and dis
patch.
"Oh, dear!" blubbered an urchin,
still smarting under a recent applica-
ton of birch; perhaps forty rods do
make a furlong; but golly! Pm surf
one rod makes an acherI"
DIR. Livingston informs us that he
has discovered an African tribe, the
members of which write upon wings
of birds. These wings, therefore, we
should say, must be B-leaves.
Pat Doolan, at the battle of Chan
cellorsville, bowed low at a cannon
DdAl hhlCA MhlLLCo IA5L ElA 4AACAlC1
above his head. Faith" said Pat,
lone never looses anything by being
polite"
81 don't thiak 1 can see to shave
me without a light" said Mr.. Quilp
to Mrs. O., the other morning. "Oh,
Ia" she replied, 81 should think your
face was plain enough to be seen any
where"
The Ottawa County Union has the
following extraordinary item:
SOur-krOut making season. Mine
got wasisdis? Observation-Disclosures
pens die double eschk2 Yaw! Ply gra-
SINUS
"HOw 10 you manage to get along
in Paris without knowing the French
language ?n inquired a gentleman Of
Mrs. Shoddy. "Oh, we had an inter
T1Lpter with US" complacently replied
the old lady.
A Connecticut farmer going ON a
spree, gave his pigs a large quantity of
meal, telling his neighbor that ''he
had given his hogs enough fodder to
last till he came back, if they were
prudent of it."
Gentlemen Ito boatman)-You must
often, L should think, get wet, do you
not? Artless bOatman-Yes, yer
honor, we does, VERY wet, VERY
wet, indeed; but Pm VERY dry just
now, yer honor, and no mistake.
A lady, out with her little boy and
girl, bought the boy a rubber balloon,
which escaped him, and flew up in
the air. The girl, seeing tears in his
eyes, said: Never mind, Neddy;
when you die and go to heaven you'll
dit it.n