Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-12-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

4MlJOtIkLAN tIOOC III EDkps
Tus,Piece Festival a Quilting party.
THE Scene of Disasters1Kerosene. >,
A TABLE,of Interest--The dinner-table.
DRAWING RooMs-Apartmcnt of den
tist ,i-vgN .s4'ansH $3.50 st'-ts'[ 81 r
ORIGINAt Water Works-A. pair of
eyes. NJ. 5eA
THE Best Marriage Gi(t--A policy in
the Washington Life. 1"' go
IT is mistake to suppose that the sun
is supported by its beams.
HAS thes"tide of events" anything to
do with the current of public opinion? ,
SUsPIcIoN-A punishment often in
ficted by the eEil-minded on themselves.
s-IVmAr class of people bears a. name
meaning 81 can't improve 2" Mendicant
(Mend | can't u" 'sz3 'd' Oh
MIsERs take as much care of their
money as if they; owned. ,land use it as
little as if they didn't. I
:. EVERY plain girl has one consultations
though not pretty young lady, she will,
ii she lives, be a pretty old one.-@G
WE have heard. of but one old woman
who kissed her COW, but there are thou
sands of young ones who have kissed great
calves. - J. .s1.' sa3 ~, .s. .s.,e %
WRITE your name, by kindness, love
and mercy on. the hearts of the people
you come in contact with, and you will
never be forgotten VI '''"7%'q = '1'' -. =.
A DENTIST having 1abored in vain to
extract q decayed tooth from a lady's
mouth, gave up the task with this APPEL
ogy: "The factris, madam, it is nnpossi-
BILE for anything bad to come from your
mouth" 4. iisfmfi oi ,s'.tH'ls SAX
CAT what hour do you dine, my, dear ~
asked a lady of little girl I" When papa
comes home" "And when does your
papa come home?" "Just before dinner,
ma Gam" = .9~~-.1e-
Over sixty cents of every dollar paid
for taxes in this country goes to pay such
bills as forty million dollars a year for
crime thirty two million for pauperism,
and twelve million for insanity induced
by intemperanGe. no 10 HD5l4 *
"HAs man." asked prisoner of a
magistrate, 8 any right to commit q nui7
sance?p 6"No, Sir, not even the mayor
Then, sir, | claim my liberty. l was ar
rested as a nuisance and as no one has a
right to commit me, l move for a nom
suit"
you never saw. such happy lot of
people as we had here yesterday" said a
landlady in Western, State to newly
arrived guest; "there were thirteen
couples of EN-" What! thirteen couples
just married ?" ooh, no, sir; thirteen
couples just divorced ~
JOHN &. SAKE, at a hotel the other day,
undertook to carve piece of beef which
was SO tough that the carving knife made
but little impression upon it. The poet
laid down knife and fork, glanced around,
and spoke: Gentlemen" said he, that's
an infringement on Goodyear's patent |"
WHAT THEY SAY OF IT IN ENGLAND
We hesitate not to assign very powerful
influence to Life Assurance among the in
situations and elements of that higher
civilization which, in later times, has been
evolved and enjoyed beyond all historical
recedent.-N0rth BRITISH Reoiew. No
English Company offers as great induce
ments as the Washington Life of New
York. -. r-1~r.r ~ e e..
ONLY ONCE, YET, ALL THE TIME.-
You ask me- love, how many times
,- . think of you a day; - e.. az 49,.
frankly answer only once, s4.., ...t +
..., And mean just what say. -; .. ,s.t
i0u seeIl peTpleXeQ, ana somewhat hurt;
. But wait and hear the rhyme;
Pray, how can one do more than once
80 What one does all the time? m -
Ina school examination lady appealed
to the selt-consciousness of the children,
and tried to teach them a littleabout their
senses They knew that they saw and
heard, but it was a revelation to them that
they saw with eyes and heard with ears.
So the lady said to them: "You have
noses; what are they for?' There was a
dead silence, and at last one adventurous
urchln replied: "Please ma'am, to be
wiped" $500 ~.
OLIVE LOGAN was asked by an impu-
dent wag, the other day, if it was true, as
the papers report, that she wore fifteen
hundred dollars on her head in the shape
Of hair. Quite true" replied the gentle
Olive; "and it is also true that wear
twenty thousand dollars in my mouth in
the shape of teeth, and half a million dol
lars in the shape of tongue, to say nothing
of billion or two of dollars in the shape
of eyes, ears, and such small deer. And,
to tell the truth, wouldn't sell out even
at these figures" /