Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-01-08

certain. Because right here IN one
nest we have Hartford, and Old Hartford,
and New Hartford, and West HartloIu,
and East Hartford, and Hartford on the
Hill, and Hartford around generally. IL
is the strangest thing--this pauclty OF
names in Yankee land. You find that IL
is not matter confined to Hartford, put Is
a distemper that afflicts all New England.
They get name that suits them, ana tnen
hitch distinguished handles to it, and hang
them on all the villages round about. IL
reminds me of the man who SAID That
Adam went on naming his descendants
until he ran out of names, and then SAID
gravely, "Let the rest be called Smlth.
Down there at New Haven they have
Old Haven, West Haven, South haven,
West by-sou-west Haven, and East-Dy-
east. nor east half-east- Haven, and the
oldest man in the world can't tell which
one of them Yale College is in. The boys
in New England are smart, but after they
have learned everything else they have TO
devote couple of years to the geography
of New Haven before they can enter col.
lege, and then half of them can't do 1t TILL
they go to sea voyage and learn how to
box the compass. That is why there are
so many more New England sailors than
any other. Some of them spend their
whole lives in the whaling service, trying
to fit themselves for college. This class OF
people have colonized the City OF New
Bedford, Mass. 1t is well known that
nine enths of the old salts there became
old salts just in this way. Their lives are
failure they have lived in vain-they
have never been able to get the hang of
the New Haven geography.
In this connection they tell story OF o
stranger who was coming up the Con
necticut river, and was trying his best to
sleep; but every now and then the boat
would stop and man would thrust his
head into the room. First he sung out
" Haddam p and then "East Haddam p
and then Haddam NeckP' and then
North Haddam!" and then "Great
Haddamp Little Haddam !" " Old Had
DAM" "New Haddam!'' "Irish Had
dan" Dutch Haddam p Haddam-Had
dam !" and then the stranger jumped out of
bed, all excited, and says: " [ am Meth
odist preacher, full Of grace, and forty
years in service without guile! I'm q
meek and lowly Christian, but d-n these
Haddams, wish the devil had 'em say !"
The gentlemen of the C0ur0nt have
given me a fac sinaige copy of the first
issue of that paper. 1t is about twice as
large as d sheet of foolscap, and bears date
OoG. 30, 1764-something over hundred
years ago. In its news columns, under
date of "Boston, Oct Sth"-for it will be
rendered news travelled slowly in those
days-I find broad hints of the dissatis-
faction among the colonists which was
within the next ten or eleven years to
breed the American Revolution. Read:
Hhorn RI ha 6icancJfinr, IN
many of the inhabitants of this and the
neighbsring Governments to clOthe them
selves with their own manufacture"
British taxation without representation
was worrying them. Again:
cit is now out of fashion to put on
mourning at the funeral of the nearest
relation, which will make a saving to this
town of twenty thousand sterling per an
mum. 1t is surprising how suddenly as
how generally, an old custom is abolished !;
it shows, however, the good sense of the
town, for it is certainly prudent to re-
trench our extravagant expenses, while
we have something left to subsist our
selves, rather than be driven to it by fatal
necessity
eve hear that the laudable practice of
frugality is now introducing itself in all
the neighboring towns, an instance of
which we have from Charlestown, at
funeral there the beginning of last week,
which the relatives and others attended
without any other mourning than which
is prescribed in recent agreement.
Indeed, we are told that all the fu-
nerals of last week were conducted on the
new Plan of Frugality.
"Nothing but frugality can now save
distressed Northern Colonies from impend-
ing ruin. 1t ought to be consolation to
the good people of certain province the
greatest man in it exhibits the most rigid
example of this political as well as moral
virtue"
Who could he have been? Has his
greatness totally passed from history and
the memories of men?
Cannot you fancy the ancient editor of
the Connecticut OoWrGQt of a hundred
years ago, in round Ben Franklin spec
tacles, wig and cue, lace cuffs, coat-pocket
flaps like cellar door, long waistcoat,
knee breeches, stockings, low quarter
shoes with buckles on them like window
sasha man gravely cullipg "news from
Boston three weeks old; and "per latest
adyices about Col Bouquets forces hav-
ing crossed the river at Pittsburgh only
thirty days gone by; and thrilling rumors
of war from Madrid, London, Versailles,
Stockholm. and the Hague, with the mil
dews of four awful months on them; and
venerable canards a hundred days from
Naples, telling how between three and
four hundred Thousand" citizens had late
ly died of plague in that little kingdom
man exulting over his little old sensa-
ton dispatches and latest dates, and never,
strangely enough, never having a vision
of 1868 flash through his complacent brain
with its revelations of telegraph and loco
motives---I say, can't you fancy this old
muff sitting at his desk and getting off this
bit of sarcasm, and holding it up and cock
ing his eye at it. and reading it over, and
chuckling to himself, and reading it again,
and calling in the "devil" and inflicting
it on him, and then sending it to the print
ers perfectly satisfied that it is the best and
boldest and the awfullest crusher that
ever Numbered from the press can't you?
Twill now let this old buffer go. Idon't
wish to be too hard on him, lest meet his
musty ghost prowling about his ancient
haunts, in Hartford here, some night.
Where be his comrades? Whittier
went he to take his ale? Who was he,
anyhow?