The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-10-29
NUMBER 45.
Puszling tho Guides.

most exaggerated and whimsical account
of his travels with somo jolly companions,
In Europe. They undertook 70 puxslo
and pique the guides by their affected In.
difference TO al they saw, instead Of going
into ecstacics over everything. as Il tho
wont Of our countrymcn, and had some
rare sport as the following report Of their
experiences will show ....-..
The guides In Genoa nrc delighted TO
secure an American party, because Amer
leans % much wonder and deal 10 much
In sentiment and emotion before any relic
OF Columbus. Our guido there fdgeted
about rs II no had swallowed . spring
mattrnss. He was full of animation-full
of impaticncc. He said (:
"Come wis me. gcnteelmen!-comc! !
shew you tho letter writing by Christie
pher bus?-writc 1t himsclf!-write
II wis his own hand!-conc"
He took us to the municipal palace
After much impressive fumbling Of keys
and opening Of locks, the stained and
aged document was spread before u.s.
The guides eyes sparkled. He danced
about us aud touched tho parchment with
bis finger.
"Whst I tell you. gentcclmcn! ls II not
90? See! handwriting Christopher Co
lumbo!-write II himselfr'
We looked ndifFercnt-unconccrn
The doctor examined the document very
deliberately, during o painful pause.-
Then he said. without any show Of In
tercst:-
"Ah-Ferguson-what-whAtd did you
say was the name Of tho party who wrote
thi?" ....s. .f0..
christopher Columho! se great Chris
topher Columbo!"
Another deliberate examination.
"Ah--did he write II himself. or howa"
"He write Il himself Christopher
Columbo! he's own handwriting. write
by himsclf!" .
Then tho doctor laid the document
down and said -
"why / have seen boys In Amcrica
only fourteen years old that could write
better than that"
"But zis Is 70 great Christie"
III don't care who Il Is! It's the worst
writing ever saw. Now, you mustn't
think you can impose on us because we
arc strangers. We arc no fools, by
good deal. Ifyou have got any speci.
mems Of penmanship Of real merit trot
them out!-and II you haven't drive
on" .--.
We drove on. The guide was consider
ably shaken up. but he made one more
venture. He had something which he
thought would overcome US. He said
"Ah, Renteelnien, you como wis me!
show you beautiful, o, magnificent bust
Christopher Columbo!-splcndid. grand.
magnificent"
He brought US before the beautiful bust
for II ,cds beautifnl-and sprang back
and struck an attitude.
"Ah. look, gcnteclmcn! = beautiful.
grHnd-bust Christopher Columbo -
beautiful pedcstalw ..
Tho doctor, put up his cyo-glass, pro-
cured for such occasions.
"Ah-what did you say this gentle
mans name wasp"
christopher Columbo-zo great Chris
topher Columbo!"
"Christophcr Columbo the great Chris
topher Columbo. Well, what did he doi"
"Discover America!-discover Amcri.
ca i; oh, 70 devilr' ..l
Discover America. No; that state
mcnt will hardly wash. We arc just
from America, ourselves. We heard
nothing about Il. Christopher Columbo
pleasant name-is-is he dead!"
'Oh. corpo di Baccho!-thrco hundred
ycarr'
"What did he do OFF"
III do not know!-I cannot tell"
"Small pox, thinkP" n. yH
IL do not know. gontecln,en!-I do not
know tchdt he died Of"
"McasIes, likely"
'May be-may bel do not know-I
think he died Of something's"
Parents living?"
'.Im.possible!"
"Ah-which Is the bust, and which Is
the pcdestali" iHf r' "
.senta Maria!--sis 70 bust!-ss 70
pcdcstal!" -. , ...... ....
"Ah. I see. I scc-happy combination
very happy combination. indeed. Is
Is this tho first timo this gentleman was
ever on . bust?" r#I.
We have made Il interesting for this
Roman guide. Yesterday we spent three
or four hours In tho Vatican, again, that
wonderful world of curiosities. We oame
very near expressing interest sometimes
even ndmiration-itis Is very hard 70 keep
from Il. We succeeded though. Nobody
else ever did, In the Vatican museums.
Tho guide was bcwilderod-nonplussed
He walked his legs OF nearly, hunting up
extraordinary things and exhausted all
his ingenuity on US, but II was . failure;
we never showed any interest In anything.
He had reserved what he considered 70 be
his greatest wonder ill tho last-a royal
Egyptian mummy, tho best preserved In
tho world. perhaps. He took us there.
He felt 10 sure, this time. that some OF his
old enthusiasm came back 10 him. 80
"Soc, gcntlomen!-Munmy! Num-
my!''
The eye glass came up rs calmly. and
deliberately rs ever.
"Ah-Fcrg,irson-what did under
stand you to say the gentleman's name
WASP" r.i
"Namee-he got no nams!-Mummy!
egyptian mummy"
"Yes, yes. Born herc?"
"No! 'Gyptidn mummy"
"Ah. just %. Frenchman. prosume3"
"No!-not Frcnchman. not Roman
born In Egyptam
"Born In Egypta. Never heard Of
Egypta before. Foreign locality. likely.
Mummy-mummy. How calm he is
how sclf.posscssed. Is, ah-is he dcad!"
"Oh, sdcre bieu, been dead three thou.
sand yearr'
Indeed! why don't his friends bury
him!r .r-..l
"Santa Maria!-his friends! Sacrc"-
and the poor fellow In his perplexity and
disgust could hardly contain himself ~
we all turned from the mummy.
Tho wife Of Deacon - bid farewell