Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-07-23
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


AN extraordinary locality-the locality
where the Dead Sea. T
IT is hard to- live without wife-and
no gentle heart to get up cold mornings to
build fire. @
A CUTE Yankee farmer advertises po-
tatoes "just fifteen minutes earlier than
the Early Rose"
IMPROPER expression-Let it never be
said that when man jumps for JOY This
delight knows no bounds"
WHAT is the difference between farm.
er and q seamstress? One gathers what
he sows, the other sews what she gathers.
A YOUNG man, "illiterate but polite"
on being invited to attend wedding, sent
a note in response, saying: II regret that
a circumstance repugnant to the requiesce
will prevent my acceptance OF the invite"
"HERE's your money, dolt, and now
tell me why your rascally master wrote II
letters about that contemplate sum-"
"T'm sure can't say, but if you'll excuse
me, sir, sort O. reckon twas because II
diun't fetch it."
: AN indianapolis lawyer has received
the following: "SIR-can / get devors,
g. how soon on the grounds that ] cannot
support my wife have one child, boy
am willing to take care of the boy. ans.
imeadily & state what it will cost. If it
cost $40 can't pay that much. Direct to
box 240 Burlington VT"
An accepted sutton, one day walking
with the object of his affections hanging
upon his arm, and describing the ardency
OF his affection, said, How transported
I am to have you hanging on my arm"
upon my word" said the lady, "you
make us out very respectable couple,
when one is transported and the other
hanging"
A YANKEE in Paris, who was listening
to the boasts Of some English and French
about the wonderful genius of their re-
spective countrymen, at last "broke Out," "
and said: 30, pshaw! yeou git out |!
Why, there's Bill Devine, Of our village,
who kin paint a piece Of cork so 'zactly
like marble that the minute you throw it
into the water it will sink to the bottom
jes' like stone" @
! A YOUNG man having preached for DR..
Edmonds one day, was anxious to get a
word of applause for his labor of love.
The grave doctor, however, did not intro
duce the subject, and his younger brother
was obliged to bait the hook for him. II
hope, sir, did not weary your people by
the length of my sermon today" No,
sir, not at all nor by the depth either"
The young man was silent.
THE Boston Post remarks that there is
not only time for everything, but there
is the best time, for instance: The best
time to court woman is when she Is
young and pretty; the best time to ask 3
favor is just after person has been to
dinner; the best time to swap horses is
before you cross stream the best time
to do good deed is right away the best
time to pay your debts and addresses
is when you make them; the best
time to have anything t. DO with an UNI
brella is when it rains providing you can
find your OWN; the best time to correct
an evil is when you find it out.
A TRAVELLER in Paris, having occasion
| for hair cutter, sent for one. At the ap-
pointed time an elegantly attired person
arrived, and the gentleman sat down be-
| fore his dressing case to prepare for the
operation. The man walked round his
"client' once or twice, and finally taking
his stand at some distance, attentively
scrutinized the gentleman's face with the
| air of connoisseur looking at picture.
WELL" said the traveller, impatiently,
"when are you going to begin ?" :" Pardon
me, sir" was the polite reply; I am not
the operative but the physiognonist
| Adolphe !" he cried out, and sleeved and
aproned barber entered from the hall "a
| Ia VirgilT With this laconic direction as
| to the model after which the gentleman's
hair was to be arranged the artist retired.
A CORRESPONDENT ofthe San Francisco
Bulletin gives long and interesting &C
count of the lepers' settlement on penin-
sula of the island of Molokai. The place
/ is very difficult of access, and when q
leper has once been conducted thither he
never returns. The settlement was es-
tablished little more than three years
ago, and during that time $40 lepers have
been cared for, of whom "a have died. The
2S6 remaining cases are persons ranging
in age from six to eighty years, and the
term of their affection varies from less
than one year to fifteen years. The hus-