The Lincoln County herald., 1869-11-11

no unnatural coyishuess. Women can.
not be forward and bold, but they are
now a great way further of than they
need be-" ' ~
"a prudent man" says witty French.
man, ''is like pin. His head prevents
him from going too far"
Some very naughty and wicked man
says Mrs. Cady Stanton is wonderfully
and fearfully maid" Put him out.
"Is that marble p said o gentleman,
pointing to tho bust Of Kontucky's p&eat
statesman, recently, in . New York store.
mo. sir, that is Clay" quietly replied the
dealer.
Ka-besh-oo- da-way advcrtises for .
wife IN Minnesota paper. He already
has three, but says his "wigwam aud
heart very big" Old X. is a live In.
dian and ought to be encouraged.
A. r. Candy, editor Of the Urbaua
Union, married Miss Armstrong, Of
Gallon, Ohio, few days aeo. It was no
miracle, he thought, that his sweetheart
should be turned into candy.
Ny competitor" writes Q Political
editor, "has told you Of the services be
rendered his country in the late war.
ct me tell you that I, too, acted . hum.
BILE part in that memorable contest.
When the tocsin of war summoned the
royal masses to rally to the defence Of
the national flag, l, follow citizens, ami
mated BY that patriotic spirit which glows
10 every American bosom, hired ssbs,i.
tute, and the bones Of that man now lie
bleaching on the banks Of the Rappahau.
mock"
A steamboat captain on ono of the
American lakes was recently feeling bis
way along 10 the dark, when the look out
ahead cried out, Schooner without a
light" 1t was 4 narrow escape and a.
the steamer pissed the schooner tho CAP.
tain dman1ed. "What are you doing with
your sooner here in the dark without .
light?" To his dismay, the skipper, who
was Frenchmau, answered, "Vat you do
here viz your ole steamboat in three feet
Of water, eh ?" and just then The stenmer
landed high and dry on sand bank.
A certain doctor Was apt to quarrel
with bis wife. Returning from profss-
sional visit, he was overtaken BY = terri.
bic storm. A return hearsc came up,
going homeward. Any port in . storm.
The doctor crept in, with pail aud plumss
for his companions: The hearse stopped
att -oor; the lady looked out. "Who
have you got there, coachman p 1.-THE
doctor, madame" Well, thank Heaven
for granting me resignation! 30 the
poor man has gone to his long home 1t
last" "Thank you, my love- said the
doctor, eetting out Of the hearss, "for
your kind regards for my safety" -0''
A certain preacher who was accused Of
importing his sermons By the barrel ana
remodeling thom 10 suit the homo mar,
ket, was one Sunday morning Interrupted :
in . brilliant introduction by the entrance !,
Of grave old gentleman, who seated
himself close TO the pulpit and listened
With profound attention. At, tho close
Of the next rounded sentence the divine
was interrupted BY the emphatic pronuu.
citation Of the name "I'iliotsou" sounding :
from the strangers corner. The parsoS
and proceeded. A iitlls farther
On and "Sherlook" was pronounced With
equal emphasis. A slight eommotioug
was visible In tho audience. Assuming,
Tho thread Of his discourse, "Blair "
. Herbert" ""Spurgson," followed succes-
live periods, Forhearance vas no longer
virtue. Sexton" said tho parsou, "put
bis fellow out INSTANTLY" "Urieiusl." :"
responded the iwperturbabie. '~'7
The following card BY bereavsd hun.
band 10 published in q German weekly
'aper: "To day red, to morrow dad
% It Is with my wife, who only eight
lays ego was jumping over tables aud
'hairs. Yesterday all that vas mortal Of
Ter was inferred. She was during her
marriage lively woman, With whoes one
lad to mind ones P's ana o., therefore.
ny sorrow may be imagined. So youns.,
70 festive. and already buriedi What l.
human lifc, said / repeatedly, to mysslf
Y these days and again yesterday 10 The
hurch- yard, when paid tho sexton. Who
'ill keep the grave 10 order. l shall
ertainly never 6ad su cheerful q vife
gain; therefore my sorrov, To- just I
'ish heaven may keep every one from 90
I'D . fate, and thank the sexton 70, the
loral decorations, a. also the choir mss.
or tor the funeral chant, which veuv
trough and through mo, but vss vsry
Vs!l performed"