The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-09-30
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A greeting toa melancholy pig-Pork-you
pine.s Il d3tda ,tooij is'ai'iT = sstrH o7e go
Young ladies who play croquet are krowns
ass anaidenst of thelawh8i'o hHa J{AF III
An Irishman says he, car. sec no reason why
womenEcanndt become me1icalmen. ieEsoM
NIiscrs, are generally bachelors they seem
avcrse to sqnanderiag evehstheir affections .
Pat, Oh Introducing his, English friend info
a row, lsaid:s a9H13 Wheriyer iye sees head,
hit.'1i7aq Laoa 6e5egossib lag &c ,iaa sYa
Some author says that one Of. the uses. Of
adversely is3to bring US out. That's true
parricularly,a tho knees aud elbows teaa4
"Lknow by a. little what a great. deal
means, 2 as the4gandc9 said when he saw the
tip Of aifox's tail sticking out of a hollow
~ sHiulh s5!gE'gdtsi giasa ifa e;ueBqt "a
Arnold lady was asked what she thought
of the eclipse. She replied .'=ss Well, it
proved oae thing, and that is, that the papers.
don't always tell lies. :" 'rss. sysw.s 81 s.sF ss
A lady recently sent to request a female
fricnd to accompany her to Grace Church:
The reply GANG back =. Sorry, but I'm dress
ed for ST., PAUL." .aaz7a zagi7e7 -ge.i aeq,, 81
The New York Sun suggests that only
Chinese ;laborers should be employed during
the heated term, for the reason that they are
coolies - ''ii y - s'-..'. s'
The warm nights induced man in New
York to sleep on the roof of his house; his
dreams induced himto roll off, and his fall
superinduced his funeral. #s-i, ias@4
"sammy, run to the store, and got some
sugar "iaS Excuse me, ma Pm somewhat
lndisposcd this morning. Send father, and
tell him to bring paper of tobacco along
@The blessed man that preached for us last
Sunday said Mrs Darlington, served the
Lord for thirty years -irst as a circds-rider
then as locust preacher, and last as an sexs
hauster.Da .~s.y 5ra '-si-adf 7e3 5iisaqetf "a
Mr. Peppers house being on fire, a large
crowd was soon on the spot, when one of
them remarked: "We've MUSTERED enough
to save Pepper.' -''9 ~ .s.z1
SHOW does that look, eh ?''said Mr.. Cramp
holding out his brawny hand. 7s7 t0sa9am
"That," said Ames, looks as if you arc
out Of soap n III o.s -. II, ;
s'Bob," saida young fellow at fancy fair,
"you are missing all the sights on this side"
Meyer mind, Biz, retprted Bob g am
sighting all the misses, on the other" has H.
"Mother,"' said Ike Partinston; ibid you
know, that the iron horse, had but one ear p
Zone year 2 mercifel gracious, child. what do
you mean Z" " Why, the engineer, Of coarsc.,
Imaginashun, tew uchlindulged in. soon
is tortured into reality; and this is one
way that good boss thieves are made; a man
leans. over a fence all day, and imaasines the
boss belongs tew him. and sure cnuff, the. fust
dark night, the boss docs. assssrAa
While an ignorant lecturer was describing
the nature Of gas, a blue stocking lady in
quired Of a gentleman near her what was the,
difference between oxygia and dydroginY'
"Very little madam, 2 said he. sFBy oxygin,
we" mean pure gin, and by hydrogen, We
mean gin and water. - a. =" go sFo
A little boy met his Sabbath School teach
er, and innoccntly asked her if to say. cofF-
erdam," was swearing She replied, "No,
my dear,-what makes you ask that ques-
ton Pr His answer was,r" | saw an old cow
down tlsestreet yonderi;e she was nearly chok-
ed to death, and L thoug ht she would coff err
dam head Off. L. e. e :,
A Physician, at Cape May, walking out
witlpa friend Of his saidsto shinl: q let sus
avoid that pretty little woman you see there
on the left. She, knows me, and casts on ME
looks. of Indignation. ] attended her hds.
band" All! see you had the misfortune
to dispatch, him. sr"On the contrary re-,
piled the doctor, al saved him.'ae ases4D zsa
Said a: male advocate ,of womans rights 5
+" When [ am in a crowded car, and a lady
comes in, Ithink it is the duty of some other
man to get up and give her his seat [ 10 X
around the. car to see if any IMAM 10 the crowd
looks Ike making move in that direction,
and when I sec them all keep their seats, |
hide my face behind my newspaper, aud blush
tor,lpy SEX" 'a
Touching the delivery of some corn, a
Southern freedman furnished the following
lucid evidence 90 know no morn dis De
pertractyrs, de commanders and de allelnan-
dsrs sent me on for to answer for de corn. l
delibered dc corn at Williams stable and dis
claimed !; Here's MuscoHoy's corn Dcy
sent on de answer all right, and dats all dc
prefixcs OBJ dc circumstances knowcd by dis
drayman." Sc go a-3e raa
The court at Cambridge. Mass, were con
vu,sed the other day by an unsophsticated
countryman, who approached the dignifcd
District Attorney, and said "Say, jedge,
that air young man pointing to the prison.
er who had just been sentenced to the House
of Correetien4 hired out to re On my farm
Couldn' We jest let i'm Off IL lter 'hayin"?
LII fetch him over to ye afte. = git in ltho !
crop" /