Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1869-01-01
Advice to q Young Man.

Advice to Young man.
The following letter was addressed to
young man who had fallen in love with
girl, and was about to start on campaign
against her: .........
My DEAR FRIEND.-Before you begin
your assaults upon the affectionc Of Miss
Smith, with whom you tell me you are in
love, let me offer you few words of coun-
sci. Never be ashamed to take advice
from an older man than yourself. Gray
hairs bring wisdom, discretion, and he
who with simple reverence heeds the
warnings that fall from aged lips, and
guides his footsteps thereby, will win en-
during success. and be blessed in; his gen.
Grafton. It was a venerable white haired
old man who taught me always to go it a.
lone in euchre when I held both bowers
and the ace, and look at me now! am
the father of eight children, and owe my
tailor one hundred and seventy-6ve dol
lars that can't pay. Believe me. age
brings with it that experience which time
alone can supply. ~'
In the first place, my boy. when you
20 courting never start out on the princi-
pie that you can make a good thing of it
by crowding upon the young woman's pa
rents. Confne yourself strictly to the
offspring. On the same principle, if any
other vagabond and foolish youth is prowl-
ing around trying to walk into that wo-
mans holiest emotions. hold yourself in,
no matter how mad you may feel about it,
and, instead Of saying hard things about
him, praise him up as good fellow, who
means we'll, and at the same time intimate
that you consider him of not much account
in general way. ..,
She will like you for your rnagnanimi-
ty. and despise him because you patronize
| him.
Women are like nightmare; they al
ways 60 by contraries.
Make up your mind to block the little
game of your rival. Always have engage
ments a week or two ahead with your an
gel, and ask her to 60 to the opera before
the sale of tickets begins. He, like. the
genuine jackass he is, will very likely
wait until he buys the paste-boards.
Never let him sit you out either. When
you both happen together Of an evening.
let him do the most of the talking at first
and about the time, his limited stock Of
ideas beg1n TO give Out, you will come up
smiling, and be has either got to sit there
like lot of dead wood, or else 60 home.
If he stays little too late for decency,
get up and say to him in pleasant voice.
''Come, William it is getting late; we
had better CO." And be will rise up and
come along, gritting his teeth and swear
| ing inwardly at you. .:" CHS s-.@ :,
But you needn't care, for you'll know
you have soft thing on him. - ::
When you pop, don't 60 straddling a.
round on the floor on your knees. It is
not only ridiculous, but it is destructive
to trowsers. If she says ''yes, you don't
need any instruction, the whole business
is ad libituns. If she happens to remark
''no," but, thinks she can always regard
you "as a friend" don't make any obser-
vations about suicide. No girl was ever
worth going to the cold and silent grave
for, you know, and may have the chance
to sail in again and win. = a!''o4q SD /
knew a man who broached the SUBJ
ject eighteen times to the same girl and
be got her at last. O., ,.,-.g ..,,,..,f ,.s,i
Never say die. There is no last ditch
in love. The case only grows hopeless
when the girl dies. -.e,. s~.l,s.-4- -, 50.
Never talk to her of love in cottage
by the sea. -Four story brown stone
houses, with gas, water, with all the mod
ern conveniences and back stair case,t !.
what she wants. a..r. p 7
If when you ask her to have you she
says, '.Not much I WON'T" don't despair.
may be she will little. But don't con-
slider yourself accepted because she rejects
you twice. Two negatives make an atir'
native in grammar, but not in courtship
Ifshe has any little brothers and sis.
ters, let them maui you, and fool around
you, and put their greasy fingers, on your
clothes, and make themselves general,
disagreeable. n ,@AsH.a
Never write proposals to q girl. A
friend of mine, did this once. and made
mistake, and directed it. to the sister o
the one he wanted, and the older sister
you observe, accepted him by return mail
and then because be wouldn't marry be-
her father came down and fogged him ant
she sued him for breach Of promise. lay
ing the claim at $40, 900, and she got it
Lacerated affection is expensive, m.
boy. b. a....sara', j. .4-ae u ~.
When you are engaged don't 60 dow
and sport around after house the yer,
next day, nor begin to buy furniture, era
dies, and one thing and another. Wo
mans minds are like ten dollar bills, lia
bic to change, and she may think bette
of her bargain, and take another man.
Then you have got to get up an auction
of the most ridiculous character. 80. >
~The way to be happy is not to try
too much to be 80. You can't catch sun
beams if you try, but you may enjoy theil
light and warmth by letting them shine
unsolicited upon you.2 a''ssso eai, o' 40,
~Love, the toothaohe, cough ant
tight boots, are things which cannot lont
'be kept secret. 37-' '7<'f ! s'-'''