The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-08-15
moRx1Hs srAR AND CATHOLIC MEssENGER.
NEW oRIRANs. SUNDAY. AUGUST IS. lsaa
WIT AND wIsDOM.

n good wife Yes, u bad husband.
More people die of rust than wear. Regular
industry lengthens life, idleness shortens it.
Printers ink may be black, but it sheds
more light than any other luminary, however
bright
"Oh, for Thousand tongues" said little
urchn who had crawled inside huge sugar
hogshead.
There is no element of machinery that has
not its counter type in the structure of plants
and animals.
Some say the best way for man to train up
n child in the way he should go is to travel
that way occasionally himself.
Men are frequently like tea-the real strength
and goodness is not properly drawn out of them
until they have been a short time in hot water.
Organists ought to gain a reputation more
easily than pianistss, SINCE they always have
some one to elbow" for them.
What is the difference between an overcoat
and q babyH An overcoat is what you wear
and a baby is what you was.
A wag in town defines lawyer to be sponge
that absorbs all it can, and yields nothing
without squeezing.
An exchange has an advertisement for q ser
want who is a "plain cook, able to dress a little
boy fire gears DID,"
Why 10 roast lamb proper dish at a dinner
of horse flesh I Because it is often eaten with
min( ICE 'oss.
The disease which exists in pork may have
something to do with railroad accidents-that
is, if the rails are made of pig iron.
Every thing is said TO have good side. The
best side for bores, as you believe, is outside
your door.
A veterinary surgeon once sent in his bin to
a gentleman, worded thus, ITO curing your
honor's mare till she died, ell"
"Thats part of the sinking fund.-" said
chap when Il box of money went to the bottom
of the river.
81 don't like chaf, said the-horse to the
groom. you must take a Bit though, replied
the groom.
Aclergyman who had been accused of preach
ing long sermons, excused himself on the
ground that the churclfSwas large one.
Hood said once that there Il family living
near him that had n mile of daughters. The
name of the family was Furlong, and there
were eight of them.
Every young couple who desire. to mako o
good start in life must keep two bears in the
house and feed them well-namely, bear and
forbear.
A person speaking of drink he once had
occasion to indulge in, says he could not tell
whether it was brandy or torch-hght process
sion that was going down his throat.
A young candidate for the legal profession
was asked what he should do first when en-
ployed TO bring an action: ASK for money on
account was the prompt reply. He passed.
young man who was crossed in love at:
yeast powders. He immediately rose above
his troubles, like well bred gentleman.
How often do sign for opportunities of
doing good, whilst we neglect the openings of
Providence in little things, which would fire.
quently lead TO the accomplishment of most
important usefulness.
During the recent freshet in Connecticut,
Waterbury editor telegraphed another at the
scene of action, Send me full particulars of
the Hood" The answer came, You will find
them in Genesis"
Swift day in company with a young
|coxcomb, wh,' rising from his chair said, "a
would have you know, Mr.: Dean, set up for
no rnn linda lad
II then take my advice, and sit down again" |
lady told her servant to wake her next |
morning at six, as she had something import |
ant, to do at that early hour. Certainly, |
madam won't fail. You have only to ring |
the bell, and I'll be down i'll a minute"
''You get drunk every morning." said ono
Flrunkard to another. "You wrong; l !
drink, too, hut only when my business is done"
L on" answered the latter, if | get drunk in |
| he morning, my business is done for the day"
An eXqusitely dressed young gentleman,
after buying another seal~to dangle about his
|person, said to the jewcier that he would like
no have something engraved on it to denote
what he "Certainly,n said the trades
man, I'm put cipher on it" Il
. 1t is a standing rule in my church." said
|one clergyman to another, 90 for the sexton to
wake up any man that he sees asleep" II
hink, replied the other that it would be bet
Ell for the sexton, whenever n man goes to
sleep nnder your preaching, to wake you up"
gentleman travelling inside a COACH was
hot{tN oIillS, WITH considerable earneStncSS, to
impress some argument upon fellow passenger
|vfro upTeaTct rather dull of comprehension.
At length, being slightly irritated, Why, sir.
rs as plain rs C!' "That may be- quiet
y replied the other, but am ID f."
In religious excitement in Boston, person
|net a neighbor, who took him by the hand
nd said, have become n Christian" Z" 1 ain
lad Of it, replied the other; "suppose we
ave settlement of that little account be-
tween us. Pay me what thou owest.n "No,n
|sfid the newborn child, turning on his heel
religion is religion, and business is business
A chimney sweeper's boy went into bakers
Elop for twopenny loaf, and conceiving it to
e diminutive in size, remarked to the baker
/ lat he did not believe it was weight. ''Never
|rind that" said the man of doug Oh, " you will
ave the less to carry" True" replied the
|ad, and throwing three half pence on the
|ounter, left the shop. The baker called after
i'm, saying he had not money enough. "Never
4t IN that, said young sooty, you Will have
Count de Corbiere has Just died at the age of
|Nty-hve years. 1t is related of his father the
ather plebian Minister of Louis XVIII, that