Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-10-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A PAIR of tights--Two drunkarls.
"sPELL" bound-School children
SMART men insure In the Washington
Life Insurance Company.
SNAIL vices indulgcd are little thieves
that let in greater ones
IT Is said--ironically, pcrhaps--that
blacksmlths forge and steel every day.
"BE moderate In nll things" ms the boy
said TO his schoolmastcr when whipping
him.
"TnE woman question What shall
ret for fall bonnotY Tho "man ques-
ton Where shall l get money enough
to pay for itY
THE mean rate Of discharge of the Mis-
sissippi River into the Gulf of Mexico
somewhat exceeds thirty.cight million
six hundred thousand pounds of water
per second.
BosToN has philanthropist who visits
the prisons. Said he to prisoner, Most
of your friends think your sentence was
excessive; nothing like IL was ever known"
Yes, | suppose so," was the prisoners
reply; "but then, you know, everything
has gone up since the war"
READ what Rev. Archibald Alexander,
ID. d., says 1t has been for many
years comfort TO me that my
family will have the benefit of annui-
ties Mt my dcccasc; and though, on
account of my protraclcd life, the fund
will be great gamer by me, yet do not
regret that, as the gain belongs to benev-
olcnt institution. Insure in the Washing
ton Life.
FIND lault only when you must, and
then in private if possible, and some time
after the oilcnsc. The blamed are less in.
clnCd to resist when they are chided
without witnesses and the accused may
be impressed with the forbcarance Of the
Nccuscr, who, although noticing the fault,
waited for proper time TO mention it.
A YOUNG lady returning late from n
concert, us il was raining, told the coach
man to drive close to the sidewalk, but
was still unable to step across the gutter,
81 can lil( you over, miss" said coachy.
"Oh, moi" said she, 81 am too heavy"
Lord bless you, miss ~ replied he, am
used to lifting barrels of sugar.
"Sror your crying" said an cnraged
father to his son, who had kept up an in
tolcrablc yell for the last five minutes.
"Stop, | say Do you hear" again re-
pcatcd the father after few minutes,
tho boy still crying. "You don't suppose
l Cll tHOkC OH Ill u minute, uO you
chmod in the hopeful urchin.
CHILDREN are inqusitivc little bodies ;
for instance What does clcavc, mean,
pa ~ II means to unite together" Docs
John unite wood when he cleavcs 1t :"
Hem well, 1t means to separate "Well,
pa, does man separate from his wife
when he clcavcs to herY" "lIem, hem !;
don't ask so many foolish questions,
child"
A WAC, having q dispute with man
who kept u sausage-shop, and owing him
II grudgc, ran into his store one day, as he
wns serving several customers, with an
immense dead cat, which he quickly de-
posted ON the counter, saying: "This
makes 10; as you're busy now, We'll settle
another time" and he was off in twink
| ling The customers, aghast, soon fol-
lowed him, leaving their sausagcs behind.
THE following is an actual translation,
made by an Englishman, in the dialect
spoken by the Chinese in their intercourse
with foreigners, of the familiar address,
"My name is Norval; ON the Grampian
hills my father feeds his flock :" "My
name b'long Norval. Top side Kchlam.
phian hill my father chow chow he sheep,
And, Of "a frugal swain, whose constant
care is to increase his store" the follow
ing is made: my father very small
hCartee man; too much like that precic
dolla"
WHEN Isaac Hopper member of the
Society of Friends mot boy with dirty
face or hands, he would stop him, and in.
Quirc if he ever studied chemistry. The
boy, with wondering stare, would answer
mo" "Wcll, then, l will teach thee how
to perform u curious chemical expert.
ment," said Friend Hopper, "Go home,
take a piece of soap, put it in water, and
rub II briskly on thy hands and face,
Thou hast no idea what beautiful lroth
IL will make, and how much whittier thy
skin will he, That's n chemical expert
ment, | advise thee 20 try it"
"TuAT man has grswn among kind and
allcctionatc sisters" one heard lady
of much observation and experience re-
mark, And why do you think soy said
l. because of the rich development of
| all the tcndercr feelings of the heart,
which are so apparent in every word" A
sisters influence is felt, even in manhood's
later years; and the heart of him who has
| grown cold with its chilling contact with
the world will warm and thrill with pure
| enjoyment as some incident awakcs within
him the soft tones and glad melodies OF
| his sisters voice, He win turn from pur-
poses which warped and false philosophy
! has reasoned into eXpcdionCy and weep for
the gentlcr influence which moved him in
his earlier years.