The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-09-26
A WASTED LIFE.

boratory Of the Indian alchemist that
will produce sweet, dreamless, refreshing
slumber. It is almost sunrise, and I
have not slept. While my brother Of
fcers we're recuperating in sleep their
wasted energies, after yesterdays hard
1narch, the bitter, CURSED past kept me
awake. There they lie, still sleeping as
peacefully and quietly as children after
play, as If there were no war, no enemy
ut our out-posts. I wonder if this is the
fatalises premonition Of deathl never
felt. so on the eve of O battle before.
During the long hours of the watch have
paced to and fro like sentinel, while
my life passed before me like the unroll-
ing Of scroll. First came childhood's
guileless, happy hours. humanity's hal
cyon days. Then q mothers kiss was
on my brow, and no dreams of cursed
ambition had hardened my heart. Oh,
why did not those days last forever; or
why did I not die then, when could
have breathed away an unsullied life
upon my mothers breast, ere she had
felt the torture of an ungrateful son?
Then came youths golden dreams and
bright days spent in my native -illage,
where my proud, imperious spirit made
many enemies; though mothers infu-
ence was over me, and under her sacred
guardianship / could not wander far
from the path she would have me travel.
With early manhood, began to feel am
bition's power, and its deadly charm
drew me on until was in its tolls. Then
I became fretful and peevish to my mo-
tier, and cold toward dear Marie, whom
known from childhood, and who was
then my affianced bride. Finally, after
receiving merited reproof from my
mother, I joined the army. and was gone
before she was aware of what had done.
When it was too late, I informed her of
the act, and she and Marie paid me
farewell visit. Never shall forget mo;
ther's parting kiss, or Marie's fearful
think much of such things then, for I
was soldier, and on the road to fortune
and to fame. Soon regretted my pre-
cipitate folly, and cursed the hour first
/ heard the drum or learned to keep step
! to martial music. Never did pass such
q night of agony as the one previous to
my first battle. I prayed then rs had
never prayed before, and promised my
Maker if he would spare my life Until
my term was out, would return home,
live life of usefulness, and make mo-
ther and Marie happy. Then came the
battle. First q few struggling cannon
shots that bound along before Us, then
Istrike the ranks, sending some poor fell
How into eternity. It was only through
]rigid discipline and fear of the officers
'1that innate cowardice did not gain the
ascendancy: and force me to run away.
wish I had gone; disgrace would have
lsurely followed, but would have lived
1decoyed into an ambush. and under the
concentrated fire of infantry and artille-
fy, our ranks went down like grass be-
fore the mower. The earth seemed to
fock beneath me, and the air to be thick
with the missiles of death. After the
irst paralyzing shock had passed,
Fear was gone, and was demon.
Forgot had q musket, and ran to and
s FRO, begging the men to form and charge,
Enough scarcely conscious Of what said.
I'VE were compelled to fall back, but the
horrid scene around me and the smell of
human blood seemed to have intoxicated
7he, and was among the last to leave
$he field. While we were crossing lit
lie ravine, I was struck; o sickening sen-
$ation came over me, and I lost con &.
& Seriousness. When my senses returned,
was lying in barn, with cool cloths
hpon my head, and my arm bandaged to
ahe shoulder, while around me were
VI my Coulphulous, WuoSo BEoauS,
&ighs and muttered curses were fearful
remembered all, and prayed that my
rm might be amputated, and I dis
harged and allowed to return home
That name seemed to bear sacred
sweetness in the sound. I wept like
$ hild, and again promised, if my life was
pared, to devote it to the good of my
ellow-men and the happiness of those
: ho loved me. Upon hearing voices
3! ear me. removed the cloth from my
prehead, and saw the Emperor before
be. I, too, was under the magnetism of
| nose cold gray eyes, that seemed to turn
Zen to toys, to be played with at will.
l(e asked the surgeon about my wound,
md then, rs if thinking me still uncon-
pious, took the Cross Of Honor from his
reast and fastened it on mine. The
asst was forgotten. The spell was on me
gain. was ambitions victim still, and
bringing from my couch, shouted,
Tire Napoleonw When he called me
eutepant, was delirious with Joy, and