Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 186?-1872, 1869-04-17
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

/
THE recent census of Salt Lake
City shows a population OF $4,000
Mormons and 5000 Gentiles.
A WAC proposes to publish new
paper to be called the Comet, with an
original tale every week.
ULLMAN, the manager, paid q hui
: morous paper i'm Paris $500 to make
u caricature of him, as an advertise
nlent.
JOSH BILLINGS says: zone of the
ftssyest scenes | ever listened to, wuz
two old maids waiting on one sick
bachelorn
SoUTH CAROLINA has the first dose
of ''let us have peacc,n as understood
by the "loil" Creswell, in the Shape
of negro postmaster at Orangcburg.
Minnesota farmers raise four hun;
dred bushels Of potatoes to the acre;
but the trouble, one of them says, il
that they also raise bugs enough to
eat 'em all up.
A LADY was recommending TO n
gentleman n medicine for the gout.---
al know many who praise il to the
Skies" she said. "No doubt" said
he, /" for it has sent many to the skies
to praise it,"
A DISPATCH received at Knoxville
Monday night announced that VIM.
G. Swan, ESQ, formerly Attorney
General and Reporter for this State,
was lying at the point of death in
Memphis, without hope of recovery.
| EAprr,r DryrSYrNsr~-r ,,.o. oI,oI
ished in Illinois and Wisconsin sew
eral years ago. Strenuous efforts
were made to re-establish it at the re-
cent sessions of their respective Leg
islatures, but they did not succeed.
THE Pope is said to entertain tho
intention of comforting on the Prince
Imperial of France the title of Ro-
man Patrice, which was once destined
for the Emperor himself, and which
was last borne 10y Charlemagne.
LAURENCE STERNE, who never as
pired to the reputation of special NOR
atty, once wrote: L never drink;I
cannot afford it; 1t cost me three
days, the first in SHINING, the second
in suffering, and the third In repent
ing"
"But, father, you know love makes
time fly" said an enthusiastic daugh-
ter who was arguing in favor of u
longer bridal trip than usual. "Yes,
my dear, | know it does at first but
you'll find that in the end time will
make love and money fly"
A CORRESPONDENT of the New
York Sun assumes that "slSull-cap tea
will surely cure the bite of maddog,
If taken freely, say pint day for
an adult for a month or two; chill
dren in proportion to age. The herd
can be bought at any botanic store"
THE Augusta (Ga.) Factory Com
pany have within few days declared
a quarterly dividend of five per cent.
This ought to convince the capitalists
of Nashville that they could make
handsome profits by investing their
money In cotton factories to be cree
ted in the vicinity.
THE rats in Dubuque, Iowa, have
raised an important internal revenue
question. Some two hundred dollars
worth of stamps were pasted one day
upon whisky barrels, in Rhomberg's
distillery warehouse. The rats, hav-
ing n taste for the paste wherewith
they were stuck on, ate them of,
slick and clean. Rhomberg won't
pay for any more stamps, the rata
won't confess Judgment, and whisky
can't be sold without its patriotic in
singnia.
THE New Orleans Times says that
Mr.. Judah p. Benjamin., late of the
Confederate Cabinent, "is actively
engaged as a barrister at the English
Bar, riding his circuits, and winning.
golden opinions from judges and law
years, and all sorts of people, by his
wonderful triumph in achieving
position never before won in Eng
land by "A foreigner, and never even
by native, In the time which he has
been engaged in the struggle"
BoRIE, it is said, suffers from a severe
nervous complaint, and thus blends
physical with his already known
mental incapacity for his place In tho
Navy Department. He will proba-
bly, resign rs soon ms he gets back, out
of the salary, the money he contrib
uted to Grants house. In the mean
while Porter, who Is hired by the
country for other business, Is doing
the work of the Secretary. Tho lat
ter will no doubt be able to receipt for
his quarterly stipend.
THE IulSa Miss Gazette has got 70
| fighting editor, who writes as follows
Of some one who had sent him an an
fnoymous threatening letter: ain re-
ply TO the contemplate poltroon who
| pcnned II, we would say we are per-
sOnally responsible for the Gazette,
and are on the streets of luka seven
days i'm every week, during six of
which we are prepared To kick or
cowhide any low-bOrn blackguard or
vulgar vagabond who feels u desire 10
insult or injure U.S."
HEAVEN help that man who i'm
agines he can dodge enemies by try
ing TO please everybody. II such an
individual ever succeeded, we should
be glad of lt-nOt that we believe In
n man going through the world try
ing to find means 10 knock aud thump
his poor head against, disputing every
mans opinion, fighting and elbowing
and crowding all whodiiler with him.
That, again, is another EXTREME
Other people have right 10 their OPP
inion, so have you don't fall into
the error Of supposing they will re-
spect you more for turnin1your coat
every day To match the color of theirs.
Wear your own colors, in spite of
winds and weather, storms and sun
shine. IL costs the vaciilating and ir-
resolute ten times the trouble 10 wind
and shuttle and twist, that II does
honest, manly indepenco 10 stand its
ground.
THE LANGUAGE or TItE EYEs.-