Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-06-04

was, Virtue is its own reward" and
the scholars got it, "Washing with
soap is wholly absurd"
An Irishman who was engaged to
cut ice. when handed a oss.cut saw
to commence operations with, pulled
out copper cent, and turning to his
comrade, exclaimed: Snow Pat, fair
pley, head or tail, who goes below !"
Nothing can be well done that is
done in a hurry" oracularly declared
certain pompous politician in New
York, one day lately, on the steps of
the City Hall. "How about CATCH
ing fleas?" asked q wag at his elbow.
The politician was floored.
An Eastern exchange states that
the leading sewing machine men
agreed, about a year ago, to give up
extensive advertising; that the result
has been to decrease. their business
one-tbird; the piano men have
doubled and trebled their business by
advertising.
Charles Lyden, of Chicago, "only
nineteen years of age, and bred az
butcher, having skinned, dressed,
and hung up the quarters of beef
in forty minutes and forty>five
seconds, is declared the champion
butcher, and wears the 500 silver
belt of America.
Beechersays to schoolgirls: "There
are two actions which justify you in
instantly knocking a man down !;
the one Is the act of pointing a gun
ut you in sport, and the other is the
attempt to tell you secret which it
is disgraceful for him to get and for
you to hear"
A writer in the Hearth and Home
has found the best way to take starch
out of bleached goods to be as follows:
make strong soap-suds, and dip the
goods in 1t, and hang them out to
dry without wringing. They will
be perfectly soft and free from starch,
and nice to work either by hand or
machine"
A joker was taken i'll with some
cutaneous eruption, which was at
first thought to be smallpox, butaft-
erwards decided to be varioIoid !;
when he remarked, "If that was the
cery-alloyed, he should prefer the
un-alloyed." He recovered from his
sickness in three days, and from the
joke in six months-a striking in
stance of the tenacity of life.
The first two men who were flogged
the other day, on the Inauguration of
the new whipping post at Newcastle,
Delaware, were black. The last case
was an old man-an invalid, and
fully sixty years of age. A large
number of persons witnessed the
scene. Such gathering would have
well graced the galleries of the coli
scum in the days of certain of the
'Twelve Caesars" when bloodthirsty-
ness was fashionable.
A man coming home late, q little
more than "half-seas over" feeling
thirsty, procured q glass OF water
and drank it. In doing so he swal-
lowed a small ball of silk, which lay
i'm the bottom of the tumbler, the
end caching in his teeth. Feeling
something, he began pulling at the
end and the little ball unrolling, he
soon had several yards i'm his hands,
and no end appeared. "Wife! wife,
said he, wife! come here! Pm
I'm unraveling!'
"Brick" Pomeroy was at Galena
on the 25th. Speaking of his visit,
the Gazette says: "He went up into
the second story of Mahoney l. Roch-
ford's building formerly L. b. Wash
burne's), reached his arm out of the
window, and pounded with rock on
the old sign of 'E. B. Washurne, At
torney-at-law.' Mr.. Rockford, think
ing the fellow was going to tear the
sign down, expostulated with him.
His object, however, was to make an
item for his New York Democrat,
by saying that he had driven a nail
into Washburne's sign, or something
of that sort"
At q meeting OF women in New
York, few days ago, Mrs. Sarah
Norton read paper on the alleged
decrease in the marriage and birth
rate i'm the United States. She con-
tended that there is no decrease in
either. In 1865, according to Mrs.
N, there were 7S0,921 wives in the
State of New York, Of which num-
Der only % per cent. We're childless,
and only one half Of that Is per cent.
were made up of persons married
within the year. Five mothers were
found in the State who had each CIV
On birth to twenty five children, and
of these five mothers three were of
American birth. Mrs. N. admitted,
l., ~