Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-09-03

I
BE careful of your health i'm this
changeable weather. Dress warmly
in the morning and evening.
According to the Cincinnati Times
the railroad to Louisville twill bind
the two cities together like pair OF
cats tied 10y the tails"
Uuder the head of "Broken Eng
fish," Paris paper places such Lon
doners as get mashed up by railway
collisions, or who financially come to
grief.
The Chinese schools in San Fran
cisco numbers one hundred and twen-
ty little pigtails. They learn Eng
lish by signs and pictures with great
rapidity.
A bachelor, in commenting upon
the large amount which Queen Vic.
toria saves annually from her salary,
remarked that "therc was a widow
worth going for"
A Detroit paper gives among its
miscellaneous paragraphs wood cut
of an immense eye, with the expla>
nation beneath-"Portrait of Andrew
johnson. BY himself"
Game is plenty along the Missis-
sippi, but the local papers say that
no hunter will venture among the
myriads of mosquitoes. after game, if
he las decent regard for his life.
Boy said an illtempered old fell
low to q noisy lad, what are you hol-
lering for when / am going by?'
Hump returned the boy, what
are you going by for when am hol-
lerin?
Blushing is sign that something
of the angel is left to woman, beauti-
full to the eye and bespeaking the
purity Of the heart. When woman
ceases to blush, she has lost her great
est charm.
An Alabama editor, in putting a
grocery kept by woman, says:-
Her tomatoes are as red as her own
cheeks, her indigo as blue as her own
eyes, and her pepper as hot as her
own temper"
One county in California Furnishes
"simple DRINKS" by plunging the
guilty in a water tank, which is hard
ly repressive measure while the
present altitude of the thermometer
is maintained.
A young man answered an adver-
tisement offering "an article of great
use to young married people; price
$1.OO, or six for $500" He invested
to the extent of half a dozen. and re-
ceived six-diapers.
A boy who heard the quotation,
IA little learning is a dangerous
thing" wished to stop going to
school because he was afraid he
should not live long enough to get
past the dangerous point.
A paterfamilias who was investi-
eating the cause of a fearful racket
in the dormitory, was met with this
explanation; 81 just pummelled
Harry little, because, you see, the
deuced torment wouldn't let me say
my prayers"
How is your husband, my dear?'
asked one woman of another.
Oh, he's in very bad state was
the reply.
And, pray, what kind of state is
he in p persisted the other.
In State Prison.
A French child asked the priest
the other day, "Why is 1t, Father,
that we ask every day for our daily
bread, instead of asking our bread for
a week, month, or the whole year,"
" Why you little goose, to have it
fresh, to be sure" was The reply.
A sensible contemporary says, 1.-THE
women ought to make pledge not
to kiss a man who used tobacco, and
it would soon break up the practice.
A friend of ours says, "they ought
also to pledge themselves to kiss
every man that don't use it-and we
go for that too"
One Sabbath evening, at the Sab
bath School concert, the pastor of a
popular church said: boys when /
heard your beautiful songs tonight
[ had to work hard to keep my feet
still. What do you suppose is the
trouble with them?" "ChillblaiDs
'ir" said a little six-year-old boy.
AS lady was walking up the Bow
'ry, a young rowdy purposely step
,ed on her dress and tore 1t. To the
ady's remark that he should have
zen more careful. lie replied, inso-
emily: The street is free, and I'll =
falk or place my feet where I like
So will I, remarked a bystander, as
nth we'll aimed kick he sent the
GLOW sprawling in the gutter. TAX
ng off his hat, he said to the rowdy:
1 s'pose you will accord me SINH
IT privilege, and admit that I too,
lay place my feet where 1 please. :
In bus in New York, a strong
minded lady attracted the attention \
cadaverous-looking gentleman,
'ho glared at her as though he would
her. She returned the gaze,
nd each moved toward the other un-
| their noses almost met. At last
lie lady, aroused to q sense of insult,
apped the cadaverous gentleman in
he face, upon which he drew back
,nfused and said: Madam, If you
ere a man, I'd lick YOU" Her
yes flashing fiie, she retorted: "If j
were man, I would put you out
the stage" AT this juncture, two
ZEN, who had witnessed the scene,
opped the stage, and taking the man
y the seat of his pants and his col
II, landed him sprawling on the
avement, and received the thanks
the lady.
LANGUAGE DE THE FAN.-The Des I
[piuas Peu;efpy. haa the folInvinU