The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-10-21
A Modest ssan in "a Bad Fix.

l haven't dated this letter, because
don't know where / am. l am about
nine miles from Julesburs, at a little set
tlement on the South Platte River. AT
daylight Tomorrow, | am to catch the
finest salmon you ever saw. They will
not bite at ary other time of day
suppose they learned this disagree
habit of early break fasting from the "Bull
Whackers," who have navigated these
plains l am stopping at little hotel
about thirty by ten feet. The scarcest
thing in this country is lumber, settlers
having to pay ever so many dollars foot
for all they use, besides what they bro't
in their valises. The landlord is from
Pennsylvania, and seems TO be doing a
thriving business. BY dint of hard TALK
ing and liberal promises, | got room to
myself 1t is just large enough for the
bed and candle box set on a chair upon
which am writing this letter 1t is iE
one end of the building, and separated
from the next room by bed quilt, which
you must crawl under to come in or go
out. But it is my room, and after the
jolting have had upon the Indian pony,
expect to have good nights
Was ever r poor pilgrim in such fix
Just as had written ''night's" above and
had sleep on the point of my pen. heard
a knocking on the floor outside the bed
quilt "Crawl under," said /.
Enter the landlords daughter, a buxom
young lady about seventeen years Of age,
! should judge. She opened her rosy lips
and spake as follows:
Sinister, don't take off your clothes to-
night when you 60 to bed"
"Why7"
'Because am going to sleep with you"
"Well, if you have no better reason
than that"
''Hush Shet up! You told par that
you would not sleep with man.
81 had rather sleep with a wet dog"
''Well, / have given up my bed to
sick man. / have been hard at work all
day, and have to work hard all day to-
morrow, and l can't afford to set up all
night. That bed is wide enough for US
both. shall stay on the back side, and
if you don't stay on your side, you'd bet
ter, that's all
As she said this she raised from her
dress pocket an Internal jack-knife, such
as farmers use in trimming fruit trees,
and then let it fall back with a chug l
comPrehended the situation in half mo-
ment, and unto this maiden l quote as
follows:
''NIiss, young lady, your intentions
may, or may not. be honorable. | am
travelling entirely by myself My natural
protectors are miles and miles away be-
yond the boundIess prairie, ignorant of
the perils which may beset their idol
am a man of few words, but they are
always emphatic. l will give you up
part of that bed, and that's all | will do.
If you attempt during the silent watches
of the night, anything contrary to this
firm determination by st. Joseph, my
patron saint, L will shoot you right thro-
the midriffI"
AS l concluded, laid Slocum pistol
upon the candle box. A low chuckle
outside the bedquilt gave evidence that
pater .fdnsltaS had heard and approved the
arrangement.
My antagonist laughed and saying {:
Sinister, | reckon we understand each
other, bounced over to back side of the
bed. There sue is, now. pretending to be
asleep. | can't finish this letter. can't
do any thing. Talk about the trials of
the earlier saints-about being fayed
aIive-about being boiled in oil. What
was all that to all thisl