The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1869-08-12
& Wonderfully World.
Prom the Hartford Post, June @

ne most iE1 SERIOUS anu WetGGifui news
paper axtaut is the New. York IIorld,
Great ucan himself iorges It's thunder
tolls. il has its editorial chair-legs plant
ed on the very top crest Of Mount Oiymp
Us. The gods all contribute TO il. The
goddcsses brea,hes purity aud truth into
is columns. Venus cIerishes il as her
mouthplece Juno hates it because Of its
spotiess character; Miner, frequently
hatlers herself out into printing paper, and,
under the label II he New York Iforid,
goes forth on earth TO inspire men. Such
was evidently the case ye teTday Why,
Tie Issue OF that day was no more human
than moonlight j. candle light. Look at
he contents. First, Minerva says that
once before, WHEN she assumed the news
paper form, she told Cuba to bug itself
OF Spain, and be free. The heayen>horn
idea was at once adopted, and the West
India island is on Its way to freedom aud
Joy. " hcD Americans cease TO hang by
ropes from CGba's Grange tees, wher
"the patriots cease TO be scaped alive,
when tie tobacco again begins II grow on
the devastated fields, and wc again suoke
our paStagas, mere fragrant than ever from
growing on blood soaked soil, than who
shall we thank The New York IFortd
The American Senate Is u nuisance and
deserves to be abolished just as the House
OF Lords Is being. But nobody might
have guessed tiiis for centuries il the
World had not told Us yesterday all about
1t, pointing out just the mischief there Is
IN LAYING such IA concern as Senate at
W ashlugton, and clnchlng the argument
by showing that New England, that place
SO detestab!e to the Horids senses, has
twelve Senators while New York has only
two. Call this human? But the half is
not yet told The World, yesterday, show
ed It's tor the first time, that the national
dett OF the world Is greater tian the whole
amount CT money III existence. IL exams
ines critically the two strokes Of Yale and
Harvard, and with promptness and un>
bounded confidence, IL points out that ex-
act difference between the two STYLES of
rowing, which no mortal eye has ever been
able TO detect. 1t goes to the Long
Branch, penetrates to the boudons OF the
young ladies, cells how they were dressing
tor the grand bail, What they were 10 wear,
now they arranged their hair, tinted their
cheeks, laced their corsets Afterwards,
1t leads us into the ball room, introduces
Us 10 its tansIlar and dear friends General
Sherman aud General Grant. gives Us
heads in the quadililes, supplies US
with paIiners in she gallon, takes us ont 10
supper with tue PROTEST OF tue young
ladies, and feeds us with the most exquls.
tie blii OF fare, after placing Us In a posi-
ton who're We can wItCh and note every
spoonful that goes into General Grant.
From this scene II jumps tri>kly into the
ONO campaign, and shows US how ROse-
Grams Is going into Office, if he only listens
TO its own wisdom. Then to England and
Europe, only TO come bounding back on TO
the Pacific coast where it he finds an old
nlgger named Dent, and takes him to
VI ashington to get him an office from
General Grant. Then it comes hopping
back to New York and pops Its nose
straight Tito the soda fountain, shoSlng us
how the etteryesence Is made, and points
out the danger OF drinking 1t out OF ieaden
pipes. Ii snatches up the English gram
mer and regiScs IT, shows Us how to MAKE
new words, and, with tins most pbiloi0gic
al proiundlty, points out the general
danger to which this noble language is TO
be exposed, unless it preserves 1t by its
celestial interference Then it rcIorA
fashion, dispensing entirely with the use
III coats, showing to morta!s the advan
tage Of going in shrt>sleeves, and stamps
uHQGT ITS bfaZen 1ett the idiOcy Whlcn
prompts men TO wear shirt collars IC
then goes up to the great new Erie build
ing and dances hornpipe, IN the bright
caciuni light, throwing Is shadows a
thwart the skics, and rafting the plaster
ing do5u on the head Of Fisk, Jr., who
sits in his Office below, then lastly, just to
show how the thing can be dCnc, it gives
US au emetic, which it always takes Itself
at dinner time, it says, and on It's own ex
perencc, guarantees US against the evil
effects of over feeding. Is any one now so
mad as to think this it mere printed
statement Of individual ideas, a mere liter
are sazc,te7 1t is the same 1T which a
few months ago entered the tea chests and
sugar barrels of evGry groeeryman, and the
fusiI OH bottles Of every bar keeper Ia
a little willie before demolished, at one
stroke the great Democratic chances of
success in the Presidential election, great
as these were 1t is the same ii" which |
was started as an intensely religious paper, |
and has passed rapidly and gracefully over
every intermediate degree of unrighteouS
ness since. Why, to name this 1t" as
anything but heavenly inspiration is mad
ness.