The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-05-13
WitticisnlS.

The son that shines for ALA boot
black. ." l''.s' '1
Ihave it in my eye, as the needle
said to the thread 'Nui
The slump of destructiveness'--a
railway collision.
Latitude like clothesline, stretches
from pole to pole. .'-
What ancient sage was the inventor
of dancing? Play-toc.
81 am dripping wet" as the goose
said to the basting. ladle.
Lovers like armies, get along well
enough till engaged.
What "graphy" do you school boys
like best? Topography.
WHY'S the sun like good loaf? Be-
cause it's light when it rises.
1t q very bad education to be drought
up by q policeman"
Why is butchers cart like his
bootsp Because he carries his calves
there.
Why ought teetotaller not to have
a wife2 Because he can't sup porter
Why is cabbage run to seed like q
lover? Because it has lost;its heart.
"Im laying down the law" as the
client said when he floored his coun-
sci.
Milkmen ought to make good dane
ing masters, they being adopts in the
use of pumps.
When may a man be strictly said to
be in the habit Of always excepting his
word ?" When nobody will take it.
II don't say as how Missus drinks,
but l do know that the bottle in the
dark closet don't keep iull all the time.
Mcan.--Wc heard of man the 9th
err day who is so mean that when he
wecps he saves the tears to secure the
salt.
Why is Improbable that King Charles
l. consented to be executed? Because
they azsd him whether he would or
not.
A Philadelphia paper states thai
there is q man down cast who is so tall
that he is obliged to get up on ladder
to put his hat on.
Why is man searching for the phil
osopher's stone like Neptune? Because
he is a soaking what never existed.
Oblivion. An Indulgence which we
extend to the injuries which we have
done to Others, and the benefits which
others have done to us.
An amateur astronomer says: "Thc
light supposed to he a comets tail, is
nothing more than streak of ighten-
ing friz up"
81 say, Sir Harry, why are certain
speech in The Times like a
brick wall : Give it up2 Because no,
body can get through EN-"
"Pooh, pooh" said wife to her
expiring husband, as he strove to utter
a few parting words, ,,"don't stop to
talk, but 90 on with your dying"
A person being asked why he had
given his daughter in marriage to man
TO whom he was at enmity, answered,
81 did it out OF. pure revenge"
"My SON." said an old lady, show
must Jonah have felt when the whale
swallowed him 2" "a little down in the
mouth" was young hopetuls reply.
"Of she goes !" said Mrs. Smith to
her spouse, they started by the railway
train from Nine Elms. "There you
are wrong said Smith, "for this is
the male train"
A young lady intending to paint her
face with rouge, put all the paint on
her nose, and did not discover her er-
ror until she was requested to "sign
he pledge"
Sambo giving an account of his sea
voyage, says: call de passengers was
low heaving, and as if dat wasn't
enough de captain gave orders for de
hip to heave too!'
A poor diminutive Frenchman, be-
ng ordered by his medical adviser to
rink quart ofphysic day. replied.
With a heavy sigh, "Alas doctor, that
cannot do, since l only hold pint.
What is the difference between sur
,eon and wizard? The one is a cup.
'er and the other is q sorcerer. Why
8 America like the act of reflection
Because IL is roomy-nation.
"Methinks-me thinks " said would
'e critic, pursuing Shakespeare. "surely
hat must he ungramatical." "Oh yes"
himed in brother philosopher, "It's
Violently misprint for j thinks"
A lady was recommending to gen.
leman a medicine for the govt. 81
now many who praise it to the skies
he said" "No doubt madam" said
e; "for it has sent many to the skies
D praise it!'
II am as tired as an old horse!" OBJ