Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1869-12-03
The Tables Turned.

reached even the ears OF the Arithme-
tic man of the Abingdon Viryinian,
wherein it is related that q venerable
lady actually went under the water
crying scissors, and when she could no
longer speak, she held up her hand and
worked her fingers 1t is mach the
same WITH the Arithmetic man. We
have stormed aud captured his Bate
ries, turned his flank and' assaulted bis
rear. We have. driven him from every
position be has iaksn.'' He has fed in
terror from Order u9, and when de.
morslized and panic. stricken, he capitd-
lates with all, save bis honest determi.
nation to die game. AZ there arc scenes
Of merriment mid tbe fury Of the darkest
trays, sOin this newspaper war the mirth
Of even an ascctic. .eld bachelor may Be
evoked; -
When the Hirginida attributes the
unfortunate personal eQnirossersy that
has grown mp bet~esn one Of lie lie ss'd'rors
and Gen. Mahonstoseti,er viii, "Stock-
holder" TO its criticism. of paragraph
that appeared in the Meps, we fear that
we shall split our sides with laughter,
and that the Arithmetic man has lost
his recollection. If the Hiryiniian will
go back and search its own flel, It viii
ind that the trouble In. question grew
,ut of an article headed .'iA LITTLE
CURIOUS" -
If We are allowed to brighten the
recollection Of the Trgiaian and knock
he scales from it's eyes, We shall say |
Eat it did contain an editorial which
'resunred that the tariff now in force is
he same as that adopted BY the former
management. Yet we must excuse the
want Of memory. for thsr Kirginian is
ike our friend Dan when the Snowman
shocked him down. Dan was a citizen !
4 Abingdon, and 1soon after the close
Il hostilities there came through that
own little show. Dan, Ike, other
,onfederates, had no money, aud de-
ired to get 10. At last he fell upon a !,
Ian that was sure to win. He was to
The door, when some of bis
would throw stones at him
nd to escape being killed, be would 7,
ash past the doorkesper-of course /
% would let a man in to protect him.
I was tried, and the result was, that /
Jan returned with black eye, broken !.
ose, bloody face aud soiled clothes.
friend said, whats the matter,
Dap ~ 'sOh, sir, he w6didh't let me 7
q; be knocked me down. l tell Won. d
iir, Ia, hi. me an OmnipoSent jar!" :
The Hdg'~i0n has had an omnipo> i
en-. jar, and we should not ezpso. its a
nemory to be over bright 1t Thinks that !
school boy can see the thing ia aa'nut.
helix Perhaps it ia So; but then We ara ,
boys, and therefore eau see H..
The Vrgtaian says: Il
The NsIsss mskes allusIou 10 .hardllas y
hdrges shioh are not fa1de "a Ne sro I.
ware b, any raiIroads pnsside Of VirsinIa.l /.
'et q. show the Neles what DIG fhisU mai =
fle ihsno Is. The public should hnow ia.
% u onght TO stand out ty itself Tor
bort ana long distances the. charge, 10 the q
Ams ,o a car load Of $4,000 lbs, 1t 8. cent? y
or 100 lbs would be 81 so. and 4 train az
0 cars would amount 70 sI5o 90. and 1.-Two p
rsins Of 20 cars each are loaded and nm. h
'aded daily for year, the road, for that Y
en- OF charge, would receive FROM the 4
eople the snug little sum Of pics, 500 90 ?
No better evidence Of its having We. . :,
sived' an 'omnipoteni jar is needed. II e
ives the handling charges at s cents !, !,
or LOO lbs, when We feel .safe, for We a
ave autbority, in putting that charge = .
about I cen. eo the 100 lbs. We a
70 wearied With correcting such blum = =
FRS, and rather than employ sacA :
fgaments We would prefer to abandon
'nte't which nseessitA.es their usage. g
The Arithmetic .lssn snys Ne bas ii
eiPhsring on tES esam.,s We shoupLt :.
y for the fglrss given aboyss aud y 4
iose 10 bs pivCu below f1fni.h 49,, .cl