American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1869-10-30
The Raccoon.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

The Raccoon IL 4 resident Ov the
United States uv AVIerica he emf /
grated tew this country SOON after
its discovery by Columbus, without
n cent, and nothing but hiz claws tew
get living with.
He IL one Ov them kind Ov persons
whoze hide IL worth more than all
the rest ov him.
lie resides among the heavy tim
Der. and cultivates the corniieldS and
nabrng garden sass for SuStenance,
aud understands hiz bizzness.
IIiz family consists Ov wife and
three chrildren, who liv with him IN
the inside ov a tree.
lie can alwuS he found Mt home
during the day, reddy tow receive
calls, but hiz nights are devoted tew
looking after hiz own affairs.
He dresses in soft !ur, anl hiz
tail, which IL round, h'E rings IN it.
TheZe rings are ov the came ma
tcrial that the tail IL, and are worn
upon all OCCASIONS
During the winter he ties himself
up into Il hard not and lays down by
hiz iireSide.
When spring opens, he opens, aud
goes out few see how the chickens
hay wintercd.
liz life liz az free from labor NJ Il
new penny, and if it wasn't for the
dogs and the rest oy mankind, the
raccO0n would md wi!at everybody
else haz loSt-a heaven on earth.
But the dogs tree him and the
men skin him, and what there IL let
ov him amt worth cusS.
lie liz not natural vagabOnd like
the hedgehog or Il alligator, but luVS
; to be civilized and liv among folks
but he haz one vice that the Smartest
, missionary on earth kant redeem,
and that IL the art NV stealing.
lie il seckOnd only tew the Gro"
in petty larceny and vii steal What
he can't eat or hide.
| He will tip over barrel ov apple
| sass Just for the fun ov hauling th(
. sass with hiz feet; he will pull on
the plug ov the molaSSiS not bekaS,
e he luvs sugar any better than IN
+ lOz young duck, but list teW see l
the molasis haz got IL good daub tey
l it.
!, | hav studded animal deviltry TO
eighteen years, bpkauSe the moE
: deviltry in an animal, the more hu
y man he liz.
d can't find by searching the pas
sengpr list, that Noah had a econ o.
Il board, but | am willing tew bet 1
pounds ov mutton sausage that mis-
Il ter coon and hiz wife committed, b.
stealing a ride.
e never knu raccoon few wan
ennything long that he could stet
l. quick.
" Ennybody that haz ever looked
coon right square i'll the face, WI
t. bet vi a dollar chat he IL dead bea
@ or under five hundred dollars bone
Il not few go into biZZneSs for the neA
2 ninety days.
| hev had tame coons by the do
2. ems, they are az easy tew tame az
e child, if yu take them young enui
d but | kant advise ennybody few GU
tivate coons, they want az niue
d looking after az Il blind mule in
&C tow ath, and thare Amt emmy MOI
II profit in them than thar IL III Il stoc
dividend on the Erie Ran road.
d never WIZ cut ov q pet amin;
u, since | kan remember, till now, bI
to | hav gone ont the trade forever
lately | discovered that it WIZ
1t good deal like making whissell OF
ov Il kats tale, running a comfortab
lie tale, and leaping kursid inca
e whisSclI.
N Raccoons liv few be IS years Of
if they miss the society ov men al
," dogs enuiI, but thare amt bat fe
ov them that die 0v old age; Il
Ie northwestern fur company are IL
great underta!;ers ov the coon famil