The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-10-08
W'iJ an6 Dhutur.


Fee-males- LAWYERS.
- Observation-Disclosures.
- Waterproofs- Soundings.
- Oetilar Punishme Mt ye- lashes.
"A prevalent ism-rheumatism.
- Chicago has a paper edited by
costs. 1T is conducted with spirit.
II asst freight-lines-B
trains.
= A work of art-A fashionable
lady.
"A favorte word with women
The last one.
IF young lady bids you take
heart, does it mean that you can take
hers?
When is a goat not goat?
When he is buttin'.
- Young ladies who play croquet
are known rs ''maidens all for lawn"
What relation is the door mat to
the scraper? A step fa(rlther.
-. a young girls dearest occupa-
ton is to set at her window and watch
for the .coming man."
- Man may be worm, but very
often glance an his whskers proves
that ne is not the worm that dyes not.
- SANDERS issued from beautiful
lips are like spiders crawling from the
heart of arose.
- In an Illinois cemetery is a tomb
stone bearing only this simple touch
ing epitaph, ''Gone up"
- The husband who .devotred his
wife with kisses, found afterwrrd that
she disagreed with him.
The song of the repentant hus-
band, after knocking his wife down
"Come rest on this bosom, my own
stricken DEAR"
"A gentleman who had beer
struck by a lady's he auty has deter
mined to follow the Injunction, and
"kiss the rod that smote him."
Wherever Grant travels, he puts
up with all sort of people that VIII en-
teItair him and his acts a good while,
but at very heavy Expense.
"A woman in New CLEANS was ar
rested for throwing pail of boiling
water upon u man. Her defense was
that she mistook him for her husband.
- "Sambo, why ain dat nlgger
down de hole OBJ de boat like a chicken
liz de egg ?" ~ give um up" "Cause
he could'n git out If it wasn't fer de
hal ch."
-sJane, CINE the baby some ilud-
anum and put it to sleep, and bring me
my parasol. | am going to a meeting
for the amelloration of the human !
race"
- Charles Dickens says he can al |
ways Judge of the character of hotel |
or restaurant by an inspection of the |
castor. The mustard pot and oil cruit |
are infallible tests.
- A Southern paper is opposed to
the education of women as surgeons.
1t says: "Suppose thas one is put TN
der the influence of cloroform by such
a doctor, what is TO prevent woman
from Kissing you?"
- A sentimental editor says: cit
Is comforting to know that one eve
watches fondly for our coming, and
grows brighter when we come" A
Contemporary is grieyed to learn that
his "broiher of the quill has wife with
one eye" lss.--i
- 1t is not an uncommon complaint
against a newspaper that it "hasnt
life enough" But brother editor re-
ports the objection made TO his paper
by gossip-lovinS old lady: vi like
your paper very much; have only one
objection to lit hasn't death enough.
- Before y contemplated attack,
when a regiment was laundering
through the mud, in very wild part OF [
he country, company became scat
! cred, and the officer called out TO the ,
men to "form two deep" "Why, hang
it !" shouted out a soldier up to his C
knees in soft clay, "I'm too deep al /
ready $
-"Doctor, what is the matter with {
him do We Think" A cor-usiilied ex-
egesis antlspasmodically emanation !
from the germ of the animal reirigpra- .
liability in the pericranial epidermis OF
the mental protundty. "Ah. that's !,
what | told Betsy, but she lowed 1t was e
worms,n a
- Said tho Pope to little boy,
who brought him his fathers designs a
for improvements about the palace = p
Take from this draw, Il handful of coin
as a reward for the beauty of your faith f9
er's work." 'Holy frther," replie d 81
The child, stake it out for me, vour n,
hand is bigger than mine" Plus TX. rS
obeyed. re re
- Virginia patent medicine deal 81
n has gone far beyond the wooden M
nutmeg trick. He went To st. Joseph,
Missouri, with Imminent which he
claimed would cure all earthly ills,
lie hired an old gentlemen To crawl
Ipon crutches declaring that he had
,een cripple for ten years. The quack
pretended to battle the limb of the hired
ripple, who then threw away his s.
and ran across the street. The
doctor" soon had not bottle of his n
tutf left. ~