The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1869-01-07
A letter recently passed through the
post of ce, directed thus:
Wood
John
And
Mass.

Mass.
A shrewd postmaster made it out /:
"John Underwood, Andover, Mass"
An old lady being at loss for a pin
cushion, made one out of an onion. On
the following morning she fonnd that all
the needles had tears in their eyes.
Ayoung dentist was introduced to a
fashionable beauty the other evening,
and gracefully opened the conversation
by saying; "Niss -, 1 hope that may
consider that we are not entirely unac-
quainted. had the pleasure of pulling
tooth for your father a short time ago."
That was q smart girl who con soled her
self with the thought that the same wind
which disarranged her crinoline blew dust
into the eyes Of the wicked young men
who were standing at the corner to OBJ
serve the effect. This is what may be
called tempering the wind to the shorn
calf.
"What's that :" said schoolmaster
pointing to the letter Y.
"Daddy's name"
"No it isn't your daddy's name, you
blockhead ; it's X"
"I'll be darned if it is. It's dads
name, bowed if it amt. Pyc seed him
write it often"
"Go to your seat, you BOBBY, and blow
your nose"
During the war Georgia soldier, when
in camp near the house of his sweetheart,
sent her bunch of flowers, with card
attached, upon which was the following
poetic efusion:
"Accept this bokay from a teller,
Who oft has heard the lannon's heller,
Has listenrd to the flies tooten,
And helped to do heaper shooter,
Has seen the war clouds darkly rise
Like fifty buzzards when they Aes,
Who is now bigger than his dad,
And wants to marry mighty bad"
While taking breakfast one morning
with friend Dick r. at his boarding house,
the following incident was brought to my
notice: We were all seated at the table
four in number-when the lanolady re-
quested Dick to say grace. Dick, notic-
ing but three pieces Of ham on. the dish,
and being somewhat of wag, arose, and,
with uplifted eyes, exclaimed:
"Three slices for four of us,
Thank the Lord there's no more of u.s."
1t is needless to say that Dick was not
called upon to say grace at that table any
more.
Two Quaker girls were ironing on, the
same table. One asked the other which
side she would take, the right or the left
She answered promptly: est will be right
for me to take the left, and then it will be
left for thee to take the right
A young lady married a man by the
name of Dust, against the wishes of her
parents. After short time they lived
unhappily together, and she returned to
her fathers house, but he refused her,
saying, "Dust thou art, and unto Dust
thou shalt returnp'
A New Hampshire editor, who has kept
record Of big beets, announces, at last,
that "the beet that beat the beet that
beat the other beet, is now beaten by a
beet that beats all the beets, whether the
original beet, the beet that beat the beet,
or the beat that beat the beet that beat
the beet.
Cory O'Lanns thinks he has discovered
the origin Of the Grecian Bend. He says
sit is said to have been discovered by
accident, A young lady who came to the
Springs for the benefit of her health, was
told by her physician that her system
needed tonic, and she had better take
some iron. In the liberal simplicity of
her heart she swallowed one of the springs
from her patent elliptic. 1t lodged longi-
tudinally, and impaired a new style Of
curvature to her figure, and twas adopted
as the style. It wouldn't be convenient
for every young ladyto swallow skirt
hoop, and so external means have to be
used to produce the Grecian Bend"