The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-10-09
WIT AND wIRDoM

WIT AND wTRDOM-
HE hevotutton seriously urges thaa
men should be put upon re SOlIce for"s
Who wouldn't be ''tAksn ~" then
A MAN who sat upon q paper Of carna,
nails, the otner day, said they reminded him
painfully OF the income tAcxs.
REPUaNANr.-A we'll. known minister de-
clares that his choir has given him 40 mnch
trouble On earth that the idea OF music N
she world to come 10 wholly repuRnant 70
his ideas of eternal peace and rest.
IR OOUaT. A lady Who had been reading
law, Ii In the most fearful and agonizinR
doubts regarding her martial condition, She
says lotteries are illegal, and marriage il the
great lottery Of hfe."
N, A JBRsKY paper records the escape az n
prisoner thus "The constable and prisoner
disagreed ~ to which WAS the best route. as
the prisoner baa not been heard Of sInce, il
ls supposed ne took the wrong route"
A LADY in New York is making an in.f.
fectual attempt to whiten her completing by
drinking ~. ! pale brandy Her n"R bushes a.
ZAcK Tower, q crazy man at the Schenec-
tadv poorhOuse, lately remarked, in speecl.
made 10 vacant lot near that place, that
sooner than accept the nomination Of Presi
dent Of the United S;4.es he would stand the
Mohawk river up on end and shin it like
tree toad to glory.
AS lows editor solemnIy vows that he will
not support q man for representative s'who
is whisky barrel IN the morning and bar
rel Of whisky at night"
A sKEPncAL young colsegian confronted m
old Quaker with the statement that he did
not believe in the bible. Said the Quaker
docs thee believe in France ~
"Ycp, though have not seen Il. 7 have
seen others who have, besides, there is plenty
OF proof that such country dOes exist"
Then thee will not believe anything thee
or others have not SEEM"
mo; to be sure won't"
"Dld thee ever see thine own brains ?"
''No."
"Did thee ever see anybody that did ,"
"No."
"DOes thee believe thee has aDye ?"
Oh Uncle Toby, who is very religious,
was seated in the door gazing at the starry
skies, when Masea John came along and re-
marked,
swell, Uncle Toby, the enc Of the world
hasn't come yet ?"
mo, Massa John, an was just thinking
how good the Lord 10 to us poor niggers -
put Il of till after watermelon season"
my dear HOratio, had q very mysteri-
Ous dream about you"
"What was it, dear 1''
81 dreamed | saw you carried up to hea-
ven in golden chariot, surrounded b. an
gels clothed In white linen and purple.
What is that . sign Of dear"
at is the sign Of q foul stomach, my
petr'
WE ARE COMING, FATHER KOoPMAEscHAP.
The following lines, written by "FIi Hi"
are dedicated to the commercial gentleman
who recently offered 20 import 1O0, 900
Coolies into the United States:
hansred tSoasead strOnT;
n: rd III bear rs| sHcs IN man Z. Esos-eaE
win drive she sAmbos hvey -.Fm
Before our moon eyed hosts,
Ana whip TIE poor white trash, sir,
From out the golden coats. ...
Thea ven tnks shls mighty nation,
Isr @0s ..ss - s.aiua ! ~ issstr ssa Ksspu,sh.p,
- AHAiL aSsanHaHa etHumBs ~ < ttlEua ikbbii
An attoroney being questioned by = Judge
TO know "for whom ne was concerned." re-
piled, 81 am concerned, your honor, Tor the
plaintiff, but | am employed BY the defen-
dant"
So YOU are going to keep to school 70 said
young lSdy % her aunt swell, for INV
part, sooner than d. that, would marry q
widower with nine childrea." 81 should
prefer that myself" was the quiet reply,
but where is the widower 2"
A BAcHELoR friend Of ours is In the habit,
when he comes to his room in the evening,
Of putt ing his tea-kettle on the stove, and
himself lying down on the lounge and tax
irg q snooze until the kettle begins to sing,
when he gets up and makes his tea. The
other evening, being . little prostrated on
account Of SimPkiu's daughter "cuttiAg"
him in the street, he put the kettle on the
lounge and got upon the stove himself, and
never discovered his mistake until he began
to sing.