The Portland daily press., 1869-10-30
selected story.
BnE MISSING! JUROR,
Or How We Tried II ead-Centre G'Efon-
Iahan.
[ From TEN pie Bari

VI course was on lue jury N''N- - -J az
variable luck and that too at The busiest time
oftbe whole wear. They passed over twenty
names till they came to mine, and then, as
tbe Yankees say, was walled in"
Nv experiences as a Juror are remakab q
save for the unhappy fact OF my being always
called to serve on cases insufierably dun and
unendura0ly lorg. In the great fire insur
anee record OF Nlllop V. The Blue blazes
company, winch lasted twenty -one days, /
was nothing less than foreman. The atmos-
phele OF the court was akin to the Black Hole
at Cacutta, and we were well nigh worn out
when, IN order to expedite business, l asked
tue plaintiffs counsel simple question, IL
voivln9 a" es' or a - No" To my intense
establishment and bitter regret, this innocent
query led TO Il legal argument which lasted
three clear DAYS, and drew upon my devoted
head the hatred, ill-Will and contempt OF |
may call them my fellow prisoners.
IL NAV be as wei to mention that am an
freshman, Il burgess OF one of the PRINCIPAL
cities in ireland. am loyal man. and The
only two cnoruSes | was ever known IN ;oir
in wiIh anything like harmony ale God saws
eQueen," and For he's Jolly Good fellow"
L consider that live under a wise and be-
nlgl government, and although some OF my
cGuntiymen are OF a contrary opinion, yet
when put it 10 them, What would become
variably fail TO satisfy me; and were Flood,
Grattan and O'ConDell TO advocate Repeal for
my especial conversion, 1 would say, " with
an honorable member OF the house. my iudc-
ment may be influenced, but my vote
neUer!'
In March, 1867, Fenlanism eliminated The
glCen flag was uniuIed. at Tailauoht and
dragged through the mud For every man
faithful to the cause, fifty were false; for eve
ny true man there were fifty traitors; for eve
ny misguided Iool there we've fifty designing
knaves. The lingleaders were captured and
brought to trial.
Now, to be on the panel at such time was.
to say the asst OF it, tcklish posture OF al
fairs. Never did sheriff or sub-sheriff re-
celve SO many invitations as those of the CITY
OF -. Mrs. Sub sheriff was visited by the
wives Of the grand jury, and her babies were
smothered in DO lbons.
1t is, however, but just to those worthy of.
hcialS 10 state that they summoned us one and
all, without the least partially; and not a few
ofthe jury, when they found themselves duly
sworn, regretted their yellow or green sealed
bottles and the odoriierous and galapscious
liquor which had gurgled down the thioats of
the officials in question. Ii my wife had NOT
been III annual condition, | should certainly
have VISITED my foreign correspondents, but
Matilda Jane S situation forbade apy attem,t
sequestration. f..
"a coulse Was called upon to serve. How
devoutly prayed that my wellknown 10,
prlnelrles would evoke a challenge from the
counsel Tor the prisoner.-I had a walk over
WINE every other man called upon was either
Ia pea up on the part OF the prisoner or on
the part OF the Crown.
Oertam unpleasant rumoIs had gone afoat,
to the effect that no juiymans life would be
worth penn'orth opms," should the nris
soher ue found guilty. was favored on the
morning OF the trial, with coffin drawn nm
Oh dirty piece OF paper, my own name and
uate OF oecease io1cby engiaven upon the
lid. 1t was also indllslriously circulafed Inv
gentlemen unqualified for the iury box
That the trials were likely to run on MANY
weeks, as The eminent counsel engaged
Tor The defence were instructed TO sneak
AGAINST Time. These pleasing Iumors. in adj
dllon to the tact that we we've to be preclud-
ed from Intercourse with the outer world un-
til we arrived al a verdict, rendered the situa-
ton eDything but bissIul.
MI deSper0hdunt" is one of those orota
tons which, il adroity applied, passes the an
pllcapt as classical scholar OF the first wafer.
Ignorant men don't understand it; men of
letters imagine there is more from whence that
came. M deSperdRdun, then, was sworn
III, aud .ook my place, with eleven others. TO
thy Patrick OHoulahan, Head Centre. g for
certain high crimes and mlsdemeanors. For
na'much as" etc, etc., ETC.
The Attorney-GeneIal opened the casa i'm a
speech that tasted the entire day. Half doz
en-, at least, OF the jury took FLYING Mans Old
Ghouzlar can steep with one eye respectfully
n2ed on the Judge, the other ntenty planted
III The direction OF the bar. Young Slopmiss.
OF the tim OF Slopmiss d Gudgeon. aud iromn.
Rms The feather Ii erchant. retired into the re-
motest corner OF The iury-box, and there-O
1empofa! o 1empores proceeded to play,
lu al ;t A..
ten sh'liines- being spoil five between two
four tricks constituting a chalk, The opera
ton repaired silence and deXteritv: but as
they manipulated the " flats" behind Mr.
Lomptlstlt-who is as broad as he is long. and
Wei2hs twenty stone before dinner-they en-
JoSed their little game in comparative Sc
Guilty; one or other starting up between the
deals, as the de i permitted, as if in excrutiat-
ing anxiety to catch any labored sentence the
Attorney General was pumping OFT,
did great deal of menlsi arithmetic
gave my boys professions and NV Girls tor
tunes-durIng the iong. hours the law officer
vi .he Cro"h was esdeavorDg to impress up
Oh me tle enolplity of the crime of the pris-
oher az me pr. Ny experience OF beng in
the oox Is '.nis. The jury in criminal cases
care very little for citations from acts of Par
i'aintnt, are averse to prolonged intellectual
efforts IN the way of harangues; and would
stale OF perfection, and so much in llse that a,
statement oil the case be printed and circu-
lated amongst the jury Immediately after
their entering the box. This would save time,
and amuse the twelve gentlemen in question.
About four or five or six of Us got together
and began discussing the question as to where
we were TO dine, fer we saw the case had not
as yet got into swing. .
The Blue Bedgown,'" said old Crouzler.
bat 40 hOnca f,,,
The Black Lion,'" suggested Slopmiss:
" the sheriff is mighty partial to their whis-
key"
I'm bet two 10 one it's at the Crooked
Fluke,' he'll locate us" interposed Tompkns.
I" for it's So near"
=" Two to one ?" said Slopmiss, amid dead
silence in the court.
81 beg PARDON" cried Serieant RipIob.
perhaps can SET the respected member of
the jury right"
we considered this rather an awkward mat
ter TOR the reporters, so Tompkins said, inno-
Gently" y it doesn't matter"
The judge here iuterposed and informed
the Wretched Tompkins, with great asperity.
that 1t matte1ed great 6ea and the Sooner
MS mind was satisfied on the point the bet
ter. 14s,.. I'D.
Il assure you, my Loid, it doesn't signify"
SAID Iompklns, meekly.
]. anu ieilcIdte, sil, iOf your information,
That the difference IN numbers may cause an
nn'ue IMPRESSION to weigh on your mind"
retorted the Judge. -
.'euhe SO, my Lord; l thank your Lord
ship, jerked the learned Sergeant.
IompkIns was ready to sink with shame.
Inc eyes OF the whole Court were upon him.
II he declined to be enlightened, he brought
down the Judge and Bar on his devoted
mead; 1t be succeeded, he should pronoun ce
some proposition to enable his being coached
Beng yong man of sluggish mind and
not actua ed by rapid flow oil IDEAS, he con-
sldeIed that he was bound to inform the
Court OF the actual state of the case. and
ere ere any OF us could prevent him, he said
Ihe iact is, my Lord, / was only OFFERING
pet OF Two to one where the jury were to
get their dinner"
a loar OF laughter shook the Court in
winch the judge, and even the prisoner, ioin-
ca. Inc p. al was again and again repeated.
While the leading counsel for the prisoner
very aptly quoted
ana WITCHES hang. thai jurymen NAV dine"
After fompkins had received a cauter5zino |
eo,,, 'ue prisoners counsel, and caution |
his si' uue Juuge, The Encouragement resumed |
tho Gao, onS statement, quoting acts from all |
the NeoIges, reading copious extracts and ~,
at iener, Dg every BODY but himself; fill
al iengt' the judge, looking at his watcb soi "a
ION. you thlnk this would he a conroniaat'
tlhe 10 adJouin Mr.. Attorney 90
MI. Attorney, being wound nm po,,l1 TO-.
gone on III mornine; but, leeinino tho h;n,t
Significant. accepted tue Suggestion and I,,,,
ding up his papers quilted the court VIII
IN a lew minutes was tenantad onI |