The Portland daily press., 1869-12-11
Gossip and Gleanings.
Minnie Warren is very i'll.

AhSt
Minnie Warren is very ill.,
"A sorosis is forming in Washington.
letin. ''o''onS- 'o"'' D"'-
The noDolest thins out-a door knob II /.
always out Detroit Free Press
John Russell Young goes to Es,rona "a
railroad agent.
"A Chicago woman wants divorce because
her husband is a might editor"
Customs are like cheese; they grow
mighty as they grow old.
Mr.. Henry Russell, the English singer
ana composer, denies that he is dead
-Ex-President johnson has taken rooms at
Washington for the winter.
-Chicago's newspapers are supplied by 25O
journalists OF various degrees.
"A Paris doctor proposes to bleach rum-
blossomed noses by electricity.
New York society is "agitated' every day
over "an approaching fashionable wedding
"A Baltimore woman falsely charged her
servant girl with stealing a dress, and paid
$500 for the mistake
Voltage says the ladies wear so much arti-
fetal with their own hair now, that there is no
telling which is (s)witch. S
-Thurlow Weed daughter is hard at work
wedding out 1000 letters, many of which her
father intends to use in his autobiography.
"A Frenchman proposes to repel a naval
attack on New York, by pouring petroleum on
the water and igniting it.
-Judy's 6ressmaker Mortified her the other
day by telling her that she would "cut her
body out" in the course OF the afternoon.
Young lady physicians are putting out
shingles in every prominent city in the coun-
try
Pope Plus smokes. Smoking is therefore
pious observance. This consideration gives
every cigar a new light.
-Tilton says he drinks caret for the sake of
his brains; but he might better have kept
Mummy. Y Leader.
"A South Carolina editor writes his edito
rails on perfumed note paper, and has the copy
saved to deposit in the 'archives" of the family.
The Figaro has wit who says OF a come
dian that she has but two happy moments in
his life-that in which he draws his pay, and
that in which a rival is hissed."
An Oswego lady has a child three months
old which she declares "writes its own name
anu CdIS papa. luttc dEc lew CicNctcE
than that.
The old song, ''shoo, fly, don't bodder
me, which has been revived by minstrel
troupes in this country, has been translated
into German. .-.....--
Theodore Thomass concerts succeeded but
poorly in Chicago, and the Post moralizes
"that the people of this country worship sing
ers, but don't care continental for music"
-Cuffy said he would rather die in a rail
road smash-up, for this reason; "if you gets off
and smash up, dar you is; but If you gets blow
ed up on de boat, whar is you?"
"A boy was asked to what trade he would
wish to be brought up, and he replied: 81 will
be trustee, because since papa has been a
trustee we have had pudding every day."
"A lawyer, engaged in a case, tormented
witness SO much with questions that the poor
fellow at last cried for water. "There," said
the Judge, 81 thought you'd pump him dry"
The result of over-eating is tightness in
the boots. The exact reverse follows upon
over-drinking. The tightness flies from the
feet to the head, but not with heeling in its
wings.
The following slanderous paragraph goes
unrebuked: A wag has invented new tele-
graph, He proposes to place line of women
fifty steps apart, and commit the news to the
first of them as a secret"
An Irish woman in Worcester, who had
not heard from her husband for nearly twenty
years, received letter from him few days
ago, saying that he had amassed a fortune in
California and intended to let her share 1t
with him.
..p,,
bill you young scamp, if YOU had your due
you'd get good whipping" II know it, dad
dy, but bills are not always paid when they be-
come due" The agonized father trembled
lest his hopeful should be suddenly shatched
from him.
-Amiable mother "Here, Tommy, is some
nice castor oil with orange in it," Doctor:
s'Now, remember, don't remember, don't give
it all to Tommy: leave some for me- Tommy:
(who has been there before) Doctors nice
man, ma; give it all to the DOCTOR"
"A little girl, showing her little cousin
about four years old, a star in the ornament,
one clear night, said "That star you see up
there is bigger than this world" mo, it ain't,"
said he. "Yes it is" "Then why don't it
keep the rain off?'
AT religious meeting at Woburn, Mass,
on Sunday evening young Japanese made a
speech. He has been a student at Amherst
for some two years, and on the completion Of
his education intends to return to Japan and
teach as a missionary.
One of our Western farmers being very
| much annoyed by his best SOW breaking into
the field, search was instituted in vain
for hole in the rail fence. Failing to find
any, an attempt was made to drive out the an
imal by the way she had entered; but, OF
course, without success. The owner there
fore resolved to watch her proceedings; and
posting himself at night in corner he saw
her enter at one end of a huge hollow trunk
of tree, outside the field, and emerge from
the other, which was within the enclosure. 81
have you now, old lady," hs cried exultingly.
After turning her out once more, he proceed
ed SO to place the trunk, which was a very
crooked one, that both ends opened on the
outside of the field. The next day the animal
entered at her accustomed place, and shortly
emerged again. Her astonshment, says our
informant, at finding herself in the same place
whence she started, is too ludicrous to be de-
scribed. She looked this way and that, grunt-
ed her dissatisfaction, and finally returned to
her original starting place, and after deliber-
ate survey of things to satisfy herself that all
was right, again entered the hollow. On
emerging once more on the wrong side, she
evinced more surprise than before, and turn
| ing about, retraced her way through the trunk
in an opposite direction. Finding this effort
alike in vain, after looking attentively at the
position of things, with short angry grunt, Of
disaporobation, and probably fear, she turned
short round, and started off at a brisk run; nor
could either coaxing or driving ever induce
her again to visit that part of the field. She
appeared, indeed, to have q superstition re-
garding the place. ."--a-
RECENT PUBLICATIoNs.-IheF Family Doom:
or The Sin Of a Countess, is the name of new
novel by Mrs. Emma ID. E. N. Southworth,
now in press and to be published in few days
by 7. b. Pc - & Brothers, Philadelphia.
1t will command a very large sale, as it is fully
equal, ifnot superior to ''The Changed Brides
" The Brides Fate Fair Play" and How
He Won Her." which have proved to be four
of the best novels ever published, and which
are having unprecedented sales, for MIS-