The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-07-20
, : : = T77s
VARIETIES.

The New York Mal remarks that
Mrs. Stanton is the salt, Anna Dickin.
son the pepper, and Miss Anthony the
vinegar OF the Female suffrage move
ment. . 800
Il There Is a lady in Sutton, New
York, who was married at twelve years
Of age, who is the mother of sixteen
children, weighs 2IO pounds, and Is
stair, fat and forty" 8. - - -
DIR. Hinchcliffe, who died Bishop of
Peterborough, had much ready wit,
and was extremely apt at checking
those who were fond OF caviIling at the
meaning of different texts of Scripture.
On being asked one day what was to
be understood by the expression, "He
clothed himself with curses as with a
garment?" "The clearest thing in the
had habit Of swearing"
MA, somebody is going to die said
knowing little fellow who was look
ing out of the window Into the street.
'Why?' 'Cause the DOCTORS just gone
by was the reply. I
Harry, you ought not to throw
away nice bread like that; you may
want it some day. 'Well, mother,
would stand any better chance of get
ting it then II 1 should eat 1t now p
The Colorado Transcript tells about
| little daughter of a farmer in ARA
pahoe county observing the baptism OF
some converts in the creek. After
| watching few minutes she looked up
and earnestly asked: Papa, what
makes the man irrigate them people ?
"A doctor being asked by his patient
why he put so many ingrediants int1
his prescriptions, is said to have
answered, more facetiously than philo-
sophically: "In order that the disease
may take which medicine it likes the
BEST"
IAN offended woman, not having a
special invitation to the funeral of a
near neighbor, sent the following note
to the mourners: 81 think I have been
sighted in being omitted from your list
OF invitations. We shall probably have
q funeral at our house enc of these
days, and we won't invite you.
"A "Down East" Yankee has re-
Gently invented a rat exterminator,
consisting OF sort of powder SNUFF.
The animal jerks his head of the third
aneeZe.
"A person was asked why he did
not take Newspaper. Because" said
he. "my father, when he died, left me
"a good many newspapers, and i haven't
read them through yet" he afterward
became pauper.
"A gentleman one day indiscreetly
asked a lady how old she was. She re.
dected. "Let me see. I was eighteen
when I was married.. and my husband
was thirty; now he is twice thirty, that
Is sixty; SO, of course, l am twice eigh-
teen, that is thirty-six."
The "Opthalmos,"a sort ofself act!
Ing Photographic apparatus, Is in real
ity a camera provided with mechanical
contrivances for automatically uncov-
ering and covering the lens and expos
ing the plate. It is sent up attached to
a small balloon without an operator,
and at any required height takes pic
ture of the surface of the earth beneath
II, with all the bearings OF the compass
accurately marked. .tA'
OLD HANKs's SroRY.-'Some years
ago l took bed-bug to an iron foun-
dry and dropped it into a ladleiwhete
the melted iron was, and had it run into
a skillet. Well, my old woman used
that skillet pretty constantly for the
last six years, and here the other day
she broke it all 10 smash, and what do
you think, gentlemen, that ere insect
just walked out of his hole where he'd
been lynn like frog in a rock, and
made tracks for his old roost up stairs
But, by George, gentlemen, he looked
mighty pale'
"A handsome young bride was OBJ
served to be in deep reflection on her
wedding-day. One OF her bridemaidss
asked her the subject of her medtta-
tions. Il was thinking she replied,
(which of my old beaux 1 should mar
ry II I should become widow