The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-08-27

"Dear me! It's pity to lose such q
net profit. If 1 only knew"
"Now, my friend, you are zoo ridiculous.
If your Drat is such terrible fellow, why
hasn't he ever come down upon me, who
do nothing but laugh at him from morn
ing to night?"
"That's true. Why doesn't he?"
"And, besides, if there's any risk, it's
for me, because it's my advice"
"To be sure-yOu advise me-"
Exactly. Come, now, it's hardly more
than league. We go at eleven o'clock,
and can be back carly in the morning. It's
settled, isn't it,"
"Yes; it's settled. l go in"
And the butchers parted.
Ivernet addressed special prayer to his
patron saint To keep out of temptation?
No, but to keep him out of danger in his
expedition. The men met, and started at
the appointed time 1t was warm night,
and they took nearly an hour to reach the
village. When they had arrived at the
farther end of it, Ivernet was, or prOfessed
to be, somewhat fatigued.
Never mind" said Ramounet, zone of
us ought to stay here, for fear our man
should come back too soon; do you stay,
while l GO to the pound and fetch the
sheep"
Ivernet made face at the idea. "Stay
here by the church yard?"
"Would you rather go to the pound
yourself?
"What! Alone in the conntry?"
Nonsense, you cowsrd:' exclaimed
Ramounet, losing his patience. Stay
there, where you are; if you see anything,
whistle, to let me know"
And off he started. Poor Ivernet was
left alone, whether he chose or not, with
only his fears to keep him company. To
be sure, they made pretty large troop.
On the other side of the road, opposite
the church and the church-yard, was the
house of Jacques Poriel, the sexton. No
one lived with him but his wife Madeleine,
who had been the ornament of his life for
many years This night, as usual, they
were sleeping quietly. But the butchers
had not long separated when the good wife
awoke, sat up, listened and gasped. 1t
was a low, but wierd and awful sound
which she heard. Trembling and terrified,
she shook her husband;
Jacques! JacquesT
"Oooo" quoth Jacques, more asleep
than awake.
"Do you hear that noise in the church
yard?'
"Wha-at ?" and he rubbed his eyes.
"Good Lord something is munching q
| Christians bones therer'
"I'H put your bones there. you old goose,
| if you don't leave me alone"
With which amiable answer, he turned
round, and tried to go to sleep again.
| "You old so" retOrted his lovely spouse,
almost forgetting her fear in her indigna-
1 a. &Iot Lox hra,
upon us. There he isl"
started up in bed. He listened, and heard
already.
Crunch, crunch, crunch!
| He was speechless with terror.
Bang came something against the door,
accompanied by tremendous oath, worthy
of Satan himself
"The Drat !" cried the couple simulta
nenusly.
Madeleine plunged her head under the
bed clothes. Jacques plunged himself
bodily under the bed.
The male, as was proper and natural, re-
covered his faculties first. Hearing no
more of the Drat for some time, cOnclud-
ing that he had gone off, and fearing that
he might come back, Jacques took his
breeches and a resolution to run for the
curate, who would beat the demon if any
body could.
Slowly and silently the sexton opened
his door; then making himself as small as
possible, and, commencing his soul to the
Divine protection, he stumbled and scram-
bled along close to the church yard wall at
the best dog-trot he could raise, and found
himself, to his agreeable surprise, uninjured
and uninterrupted, at the curate's door.
Whether the honest villagers were in
the habit of leaving their doors unfastened
(as some New England villagers still do),
or whether certain divinity hedged the
priest, and made ordinary precautions un-
necessary for him, there was no bolt or bar
to the curate's modest dwelling, and
Jacques was making his way to the bed
room, when the shrill voice of the old
housekeeper arrested him.
"Who's there?"
Jacques, the sexton"
"And what does Jacques, the sexton,
mean by coming here at this indecent
hour?"
AZ must see the curate at once" said
Jacques, glancing round in the dark, as il
he expected to see the Drat at his heels.
jacques, is that you?" called out the
priest from his bedroom.
The sexton knew the house we'll enough
to find his way i'm the dark the next mo-
ment he was at the curate's bedside, and
pouring into his ears the terrible nara
tive
The curate congratulated him on his
escape, praised his pluck, and not willing
to seem behindhand in courage, rose and
dressed himself in spite of his old woman's
grumbling remonstrances, armed himself
with the largest pot of holy-water in the
chapel, and started for the dangerous spot,
followed by the sexton.
Poor Ivernet! When his fright at
being left alone had somewhat abated, he
began to be tired of waiting for his COM
rade. There was a tempting walnut.
branch within reach as he walked back
and forward. He gathered some nuts and
began to crack them with the help of his
knife and a stone.
The first batch was successfully disposed
of, but, in operating on the second, he
missed his aim and bruised his fingers.
The pain forced an oath from him, and, in
his veXation, he threw away the stone,
without looking whittier it went. Then,
sensible of the noise which he had made,
he was so frightened at it that he lodged
away for several hundred yards and seve-
raj minutes, thus contriving to miss the
sexton when the latter emerged from his
house. Then he returned to his post, but
in such scare that, though it was a warm
August night, he shook EVERY limb. He
started at the wind, he jumped at bird, he
cursed Ramounet a thousand times. Sud-
denly he saw man, or rather the shadow
of man, approaching.
ais that your" he asked in low voice.
"The Drat!" shrieked, the sexton,
crouching down behind his superior.
"The Drat !" echoed the curate.
"Apage! Hade retro! In nomine Patris
ct FIii Ct" Losing his head, and hardly
knowing what he did, he let fly, mechan-
ically as it were, the holy water, pot and
all, in the face of the apparition.
Drenched by the water, bruised by the
pot, terrified by the exorcism in the un-
known tongue, the unfortunate butcher
recoiled, then, with one fearful yell, the
Drat y he turned tail, covered three miles
of ground in a quarter of an hour, and fell
senseless at his own door.
He was found there next morning and
put to bed. We may be allowed to antici-
pate the course of events by remarking
that his fright, fatigue, and bruises, COM
bined, brought on an illness which lasted
several weeks. Still he felicitated himself
at having got off so cheaply, and offered
up a six-pound candle to his patron saint,
who had delivered him from the Drat.
Let us now return to the startled but tri-
umphant officials.
"Phew" calculated the sexton, recov-