The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1869-01-14
Where the Laugh Comes In

said to the sailor on deck.
Why is badly conducted hotel like a
fiddle Because it is vile inn.
81 am going to draw this beau into
knott" as the lady said at the hymensal
altar.
A wag, speaking of the embarkatton of
troops, says, notwithstanding many of
them left blooming wives behind, they
all went away in transports"
A western paper gives itself the fol-
lowing pleasant obituary on Thanksgiving
day: "No paper will be issued from
this Office tO-morrow--nor any other day. "
A Virginia boy, on Christmas day load
ed hickory log with powder, straadled it
and touched it off. lie and the log went
off together.
A country paper, in putting certain
soap, says, SIT is the best ever used for
cleaning dirty mans face. We have
tried it and therefore we know"
When man and woman are made one
by clergyman the question is, which is
the one Sometimes there is long strug-
gle between them before this question is
finally settled,
A man who was arrested for stealing
goods at a fire the other day, pleaded in
extenuation for his conduct that he had
been at the place only few days, and
hadn't learned the rules.
A little child being asked by Sunday
Sohoal teacher, "Whar did the Israelites
do after they had crossed the Red Sea :"
answered, IL don't know, ma'am, but |
suppose they dried themselves"
A young man, illterate but polite, on
being invited to wedding, sent a note i'll
response, saying, II regret that circum-
stances repugpant to the acquiesce will
prevent my acceptance of the invite"
A lady who has had long experience
as hnusekeeper, and knows something Of
the insolence of servants, declares that
she always finds, contradictory though it
may appear, that those who don't answer
suit her best.
A lady said tn her husband in Jerrold's
presence, "My dear, you certainly want
some new trousers" "No, think not"
replied the husband. ''Well," said Jer-
r rold, 81 think the lady who always wears
0 them ought to know"
). 1t is said of popular laptnrer, that or
: announcing to his wife, who had her Owl
I opinion of his talents, that he was going
to lecture at Sheffield, the lady replied
= HAt Sheffield l am so glad; always
: hated those Sheffield people"
Il "You, Sambo, have you fed the pigs y
. eyes, mussa, me fed 'um," replied Sam
d bo. "Did you count them % eyes
|, massa, me count 'um all but one" GAL
q but onel" "Yes, massa, all but one. d.
little speckled pig friSk about so mucl
/ dat me couldn't count him."
An Ohio landlord caught an overcoa
10 thief in the act and commenced canin!
a. him. During the process the landlor
1t suddenly dropped dead from apOplexy
re The thief declared that it was a judgmeu
70 OF Heaven, and piOqsly went his way wit
the overcoat.
ID A late judge whose personal appear
" ance was as unprepossessing as his leg;
~ knowledge was profound and his intellec
u keen, interrupted female witness, "hun
IS. bugged you, my good woman, what d
ss you mean by that!' "Well, my lord" re
~ piled the woman, ''I don't know how
- explain it exactly; but if a girl Oalle
:" your lordship handsome man she woul
be hunibugging you.1
A Quaker broker in New York havin
,d had bag of gold stolen from his copntt
h. while he stepped into his back room for
moment, never mentioned the loss to an
as one, but quietly bided his time. Sever
months afterwards, neighbor being
>, his office carelessly asked, "Havc you @
rs er heard anything about that bag Of go
no that you lost :" "Ah, John," replied Il
on Quaker, .'thou art the thief, or the
woulds't rot have known anything abol
it tp' The shrewd old Quaker was rig
,ot and the gold was restored with interest,
'ty In Cambridge, Massachusetts, the p
nc lice officers arrest all children found
il. the streets during school hours, unlt
they can give good account of their a
sence. An Irish boy recently told an {
ficer that he had been excused to attend
MS funeral He was found very soon after
.he base ball match. The officer inquir
why he was not at the funeral. The req
,rv was that he had been down to the maj
~ house but that he wasn't dead yet.
aI'll bet you bottle of wine that J
,rv will get out of that chair before | ask y
- twice.
"Done," said the gentleman, who see
at cd determined not to obey SO prompt
"Get up"
at 81 will not" was the reply.
sThen stay there until ask you s.
), ond time"