Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-11-04
Remarks by Josh Billings.

Remarks by Josh Billings.
When a man hain't got emmy thing to
say, then IL good time tew keep still
thare IL but few people who hav missed a
good opportunity tew ventilate their opin.
yuns.
Just about az ceremonys creep into one
end ov a church piety creeps out ov the
other.
Thoze who hav the fewest failings see
the tewest in others.
Pride IL az universal az hair on the head
some are proud ov their virtews, sum ov
their vices, and sum, having neither them.
selves, brag on other peoples.
Love looks through a telescope envy,
through microscope.
An industrious man IL seldom bad
man.
Men viii believe their pashuns quicker
than they will their consciences, and yet
their pashuns are generally wrong, and
their cOnSciences alwus right
1t amt mulch truble tew bear the pain
of sum body else's lame back, but tew haV
the lame back oneself amt So stylish.
Dispising fortune IL not a sure way to
gain her favors--pipe to her and she may
dance to you.
Take all the interest out ov this world
and there wouldn't be friendship enuf left
for seed
Sekrets are a burden and that is oAr,l
reason why we are ar Il0us to hay some
body help us carry them.
| hay seen men so fall of vanity that
they could not endure the sight ov a pea
cock with his tale on parade.
The most eXcruciating bore l know is
excessive politeness
Lazyness IL like molassis, sweet and
sticky.
think a bear in hiz claws IL preferable
tew one with gloves on.
Misanthropy don't pay-there amt no
man living whoze hate the world cares one
cuss for.
Rash men ken be korekted, but it don't
pay to labor with phool.
The man who haz never enioyed the
plezzure of bein forgiven haz missed one
ov the greatest luXurys ov life
| have seen coquettry that had no more
malice in it than eve lamb frisking on
the green.
When | cum acrost man who utters his
opinyuns with immense deliberashun, and
after they are uttered they don't amount to
ennything, write him down MYSTERIOUS
phoOl'
The CRATE cry ov the world now daze IL
What's trumpS"
Love u weakness, but il IL the same
and ov weakness that repentance il
both ov Them are credltable to our na-
lures
A man IL biz own best friend and worst
enemy.
Friendship IL like earthenware, if it IL
broken it kan be mended; but love is Ike
a mirror, once broken that ends IT,
Gravity IL no more an evidence of wis
dom than it IL oy i'll natur.
The greater the man the less his yirtews
appear, and the larger his faults.
The man who hain't got an enemy is
really poor.
Don't mistake eicacety for acit thare Is
just az mulch ditlrence as thare IL between
Lightning and lightning bug
No man ever undertook tew alter his
natur by substituting sum inyenshun oy
his own, but What made botch Job ov l.
Religion in theze days is compozed OF
vanity and piety, and each man and wo.
nan IL q better Judge ov the proportion
than am
Lovers feed upon mysteries, but after
they are married, and the pork and beans
brought on, they hav fair chance tew
test the real qualitys of their appetights.
An insult tew one man is an insult teW
all, for 1t may be our turn next
| don't know or emmy thing that would
use the whole ov us up more thoroughly
than tew hay all ov our wishes gratifed.
There is 2 kinds ov obstinacy - OBJ
stinacy in the right, and obstinacy in the
wrong; one IL the strength oy CRATE
mind, and the other IL the strength oy
little one
Jealousy IL one ov loves parasites.
We can endure vices in the young 'bet
We should despise in the old. Pleaze
make note of this, old phellogs.
There Il q great deal oy difference be-
tween enduring misfortune Because we ex-
pekt y, and enduring them because veare
Obliged To; one IL pashiunce, the otner "
mere sullemess.
" hen | see an old man marry young
wife, | consider him starting out on bust,
Tor am reminded of the parable in the
Bible about new wine and old bottles
Neio YORK Weekly.