The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-18
KR. PENKIFEATHER TAKEsA DRINE
-UNDER DISCUSSION.

know it's next door to making rute Of my
self. ! SIN aware that no respectable dram
driDker will venerste my judgment fter say it.
know that am wrong, and that oughtn't to
act so. But it's truth and truth es magma and
viii yrevei.bi., lvt truth be tod. am not
fond of whisky.
Who the devil cares whether he's fad OF it or
not methinks hear q voice observe.
Don't you, smiable reader? Don't pu, honey
tempered gentleman? DoN'r YOU, mtor Of po.
liteness' Then word in your ear.
If you don't care, save yourself therouble OF
reading any farther-and then, dye see, you
won't know. Only don't fare up 1t sn't well
bred.
But it's bad plan, I've found, to stp before
you get started: SO elk, olk. clk-get ufyou lazy
Pegasus! you broken winded pet Of theMuses in
| q beer.wsgon! Get along, sir
don't like whisky. Whether It be TIT have
en- innate repugnsnce, or whether ii b that
have no peculiar prediction, haven'tIuts de-
termined; but know that the smell unplea-
SAINT and the taste-well the taste is shply de-
testsble. ! sometimes get some Of in my
mouth, and whenever l do. you had bitter be.
lieve 1t don't stay there long. No. sir, hsrapiaity
with which that whisky disappears Own that
throat must be felt to be credited. Tim the bar
keeper. declined to credit it no longer han yes.
terdsy.)
Nv friend schweinsnoot Won Ruser, the cele.
brated etymoogist, says that WHISKY" is
Gaelic. Now we ali know that Gaelic Is merely
chronological for Scotch, and Y. Rute 10 those
three words has eased my mind OF a hrden. l
| hate to doubt q man, for several reasus One
| reason is my faith in human nature which IL
| almost equal to my charity, and that another
| reason; and the third and great commandment Is
that be that doubts is damned, and don't de.
sire TO be damned, prefer not to don't. Bot.
| above all, / hate to doubt Scotchnsn. A
Scotchman Is such a confdiug creature I; he is so
uIsuspecting; he tells you things with 10 perfect
| faith that yon will believe them. Yes il huis
| me 10 doubt Scotchman. To my stry, how
| ever. / bought some whisky Of a Sotchmsn.
| He said he knew the place it came from; in fact
| he had come from there himself 30 then couldn't
| be any doubt about that whisky's being Scotch.
EGt-hOtrerer-t eredS-On the ether hand
| 0foresaid-I knew it wasn't Scotch whisky at ALL
| but on the contrary was corn, for saw the man
| It corned, and / think-yes, think-1 can tell q
| man when he's drunk on corn whisky. Well
| was hurt. Ny fuer feelings were In all sorts Of a
| FIX, and / suffered gripping pains Of severe ma
| ture in the noblest emotions Of my soul. Then
comes Y. Rnter with HE chronological sedstive and
| / am set up Immediately. Ny 6cotchmsn spoke
| etymologicslly. A great thDg-etymology;
must get little when come down. They don't
Some men say they like Scotch whisky. Ask
them Why and they will tell you the smoky flavor.
have no right 10 accuse them Of disregard Of
truth In this, only hope If it lie, 1t viii be par
| doned them hereafter.
Now with regard to myself and smoky whisky. /
| am like the gentleman when somebody WIS going
| TO put water in his. He stood on his righteg and
| trilled artisticslly by shaking his left While be
rendered that dppoggidttrd little nloTcedt In the
| stdccdfO OF LuclG-the An non gisnqs! mean.
This touching tTenlOiO has been beautifully trans
lated "I'll take mine siraight"-an expression
| which II il msy be thought 10 lack something Of
the soft harmony Of the original. must UT be
| acknowledged 20 far more than compensate for
| this by the force and yigor Of the noble saxon
words. The gentleman thought it spOilt tive very
! good thinCs-whisky and weter. J an lke him
as an elephant is like brick bat, because Ithink
it, that is Scotch whisky, is spelling iwo YER, bad
thDgs-whisky and smoke. No: that prEerb
about the bad egg is like good many dher
| things it is to be taken-the proverb no the
| esq, mind you-with a grain Of salt. Became q
thing is bad is reason why il may not be sloilt.
| Some of the very worst things ever knew Tere
! awfully spoilt. Ii the reader knows a vert OLD
married couple with very young child be pr'bs-
| bly, agrees with me.
Smoky whisky is bad enough, but when yougo
| TO mixing up lemon-a fruit | detest sugs-
something ! sbhor, even Ia SOUP; and hot watei-
| which hils ne With thoughts of tea; when y,u
| 90 20 work and combine these abOminatious AID
put them in on top Of the whisky and smoke
| yes, ] mean punch I'd like TO punch the maj
that invented IL / hope he died. Panch, indeed
1t rhymes with bunch, and buDch, and scrunch. /
is 9 had thing, an improper thirg. came vert
near Dtipg married once and it was all through
! punch. / have never forgiven it. she saiI