St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1869-10-15

The Rev. Henry Ward Beecher's private
habits are the subject OF Mark Twain's
latest contribution to the Buffalo Express
The whole article Is extremely funny,
but that portion which relates to Mr.
Beecher'> farming experience is i'll the
humorst'S most eNtravagant vein, and
quite equal to his best efforts 1t is a.
follows:
Mr. Beecher's farm consists of thirty
six acres, and is carried on on strict sci
entific principles. lie never puts in any
part OF a crop without consulting his
book. lie piows and reaps and digs anc
sows according to the best authorities
and the authorities cost more than the 9th
er implements do As soon as the library
is complete, the farm will begin to be IA
profitable investment. Book-farming
has It's drawbacks. Upon one occasion,
when it seemed morally certain that tn,
hay ought TO be cut. the haybook could
not he tound it was too late, and thl
hay wa, all spoiled.
Mr.. Beecher raises some of the finest
crops OF wheat III the country, but the
untay or;.ble difference between the cost
Of producing it and it> value after it i
produced, has interiercd considerably
with lis success rs commercial enter
prise. His special weakness is hogs,
however. He considers hogs the best
game a farm produces. lie buys the or
iginal pig for a dollar and a half, and
feeds him forty dollars worth of corn
and then sells him for about nine dollars
This is the only crop lie ever makes any
money on lie loses on the corn, but ht
makes seven dollars and Il half on the hog
He does not mind this, because he never
expects TO make any thing on corn, any
way. And any way it turns out, he has
the excitement of raising the hog anyhow,
whether he gets the worth ot him or not.
His straw wberTIeS would bc Il comfortable
success ii the robins would eat turnlpS,
but they won't, and hence the difficulty.
One OF Mr.. Beucher's most haraSslng
difficulties in his farming operation.
comes 10 the close resemblance OF differ
cnt sorts Of seeds and plants to each 9th,
cr. Two years ago his tar-sightednes:
warned him that there was going TO be ;
great scarcity OF watcr-melons, and
therefore they put in Il crop OF twenty
seven acres OF that fruit. But wher
they came up they turned out to b,
pumpkins, and 4 dead loss was the CON
sequence. Sometimes 4 portion OF his
ising sweet potatoes, and comes up til,
internalIst carrots-though | never hav,
heard him express it just in that way
When he bought his farm. he found on,
egg in every hens nest on the place. III,
said that here was just the reason why
50 many farmers tailed-they scattered
their forces too much-concentratio
was the idea. SO he gathered the egg,
together and put them all under one eX
perlenccd old hen. That hen roustct
over that contract night and day fol
eleven weeks, under the anxious person
al supervision of Mr.. Bcechcr himself,
but she could not "phaSe" those eggs
Why? Because they were those lnia-
nous porcelain things which are used
by ingenious and fraudulent farmers a.
NEST Gigs But perhaps Mr.. Beech.
ers most distressing experience was the
time he tried to raise an immense croI
Of dried apples. He planted fifteen hun
dred dollars worth, but never one o
them sprouted. lie has never been abl,
to understand, to this day, what wa.
the matter with those apples"