The Shasta courier., 1869-02-06
SHASTA COURIER.
The spIashing Houses of London.

There are houses in the suburbs OF Lon
don in which earth beaten up into mud is
retailed. These houses are called "Splash-
ing Houses" 1t is useless to puzzle your
brain; you will never be able to guess how
the proprietors of these establishments
make their business answer. Their sue
cess is to be attributed to the immoderate
necessity felt by every Englishman to throw
dust in the eyes of his neighbor. An ex-
quisite, without penny, owning neither
lands nor hounds, but having credit with
his tailor, and favored besides with good
personal appearance, announces to his
friends that he is about to leave town for
hunting. He accordingly quits his hotel,
saying that he will be back in nine or ten
DAYS, and conceals himself somewhere at
quite the o ther end Of town. On the day
fixed for his return he puts on hunting
coat in the best style, and wends his way
to the Splashing House. There, for the
moderate sum of 3s, be gets himself splash
ed with mud from head to foot These
curious establishments are provided with
muds of different counties, but principally
ofthose counties where the hunting is best
They are, moreover, furnished by way of
ornament with wooden horse and mirror
The sale of the mud is conducted in the
most serious manner imaginable On the
exquisite presenting himself the groom in
quires From what county, sir, do you
wish it to be supposed you have just re-
tnrned-trom Staffordshire !? from Derby
shire ?'' No; from the county of Kent"
All right. Take your seat" On this,
the pretended sportsman bestrides wood
en- automaton pony, which begins to raise
his front and hind legs, to trot, to prance,
throwing the mud over his rider with the
same irregularity as real horse would do
across country
After having been well splashed, the
man Of fashion pays the account, casts an
eye of appreciation towards the mirror, and
then, with whip in his hand, goes and
exhibits his bespattered costume in Bond
street, Piccadilly, or Pail Mall, in order
that it may be supposed that he has just re-
turned from grand hunt. But here is
the practical side of this coolly calculated
little speculation. In England the landed
proprietors are the real kings of the coun-
try. They may spend and spend and
spend. Their ruin is never complete
Sinecures, the places in India are at their
disposal, to repair their broken for
tunes. 1t sufices to be reckoned among
the landowners to enjoy unlimited credit
with contractors of every kind, and to OBJ
tain such credit is the object of mud-spat-
tered exquisite, To a great number of
persons who see him pass, or to whom he
speaks, the mud with which he is splashed
affords, if not proof, at least strong pre-
sumption that he is proprietor in such or
such county. If on the morrow he pre-
sents himself as purchaser at the shop of
tradesman who has observed him the day
before, he will be treated with welcome
and will be able to command everything he
pleases. Some of these exquisites, by
dint of frequenting the Splashing Houses,
of borrowing money and spending pro-
fusely, have been known to end by marry
ing an heiress, and settling themselves
comfortably Others less fortunate let the
cat out of the bag, and so go to prison
when they have not time to gain the Con-
tinent. Albeit whether success or failure
be the result of their manuvers, it is not
the less true that the invention of Splash
ing Houses is one of the most striking
among those which sum upin their enscm-
bic what is called the English puff.