The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-11-26
go IOURNAL
.IDAY.....................NovEMBER g, 1853
From the Buffalo Express.
More about EalIeF Dogs,

When Noah disembarked at Ara
rat, he had scarcely touched the pier
when he was surrounded by swarm
Of vociferous hack drivers and hotel
runners, who assaulted him with a
running fire of hotel statistics. and
tu1Slt of offers to convey him and
his baggage to any part Of the city.
Noah was just man, but he couldn't
sGand everything; and after being
pulled and hauled few minutes his
beEilderment gave way to wrath.
Placing his carpet bag between his
feet, he pulled off his coat, girded up
his loins with suspenders, and re-
marked: II am a man of grace, but
if any among We remaineth ten min
utes, him will / chastise! You hear
n1eP Then the rabble put their
heads together saying: Verify, the
old man is knockerl Let us depart!
GolahD and so departed. Then
Noah proceeded to tally his passen-
gers. He had just checked his last
item in the list-a Mr.. and Mrs.
Bedbug-and his equanimity was
partially restored by the favorable
exhibit, when his wrath was renewed
by the crilging figure OF quadruped
that came sneaking down the gang
plank with his tail between its legs.
"Drat it if there amt that yaller
dogl" says Noah, aiming vicious
kick with his brOgan at the brute.
But, with a facility born of long and
bitter experience, the brute lodged
the projectile, and calculating Xxi vi
which Is SyTiac for declined with
thanks" or mot for Joe"-he disap-
peared; while Neah, who had his sea
legs on, was unable to recover his
equilibrium, snd sat down with en-
phasis on the back of his head. His
ehaRrin was aggravated by Hams
Intellectual efelt to suppress a smile
at the performance. Ham never
could suppress his smile without
going down cellar, and smothering ii
in obscurity. He never was cured of
that copious smile until, IN the pro-
cess Of mummifcation, they converted
him into sugar cured Ham.
Noah arose, and in accordance with
the style prevalent among patriarchs,
he proceeded to sooth his afronted
dignity By pronouncing a variegated
anathema upon the yaller dog, which
had Enthusiastically sneaked unob-
served on board, in the confusion of
putting to sea, and had eapsiZed the
captain at the first port. He cursed
that dog in body, limb, bark, hide,
hair, tail and wag; and all his gener-
atoms, relations and kindred by con-
sanguinity or affinity, and his heirs
and assigns. He cursed him with
endless hunger, with hopeless mango,
with incessant feas, with perpetual
fear, with perennial lazlness and with
his tail between his legs. He closed
his stock of maledictions by spark
ling display of denunciatory pyro-
technics, from the demoralizing effect
of which the yaller dog has never
recovered.
With this curse sticking to him
like a revenue stamp, the yaller dog
can't help being 'cussed." He don't
try to help it. He follows Noah's
programme with sneaking fidelity. He
is an Ishmaelite among dogs. He
receives the most oppressive court
estes. In the form of brlokbats, boots
and hot water which make his life an
animated target excursion. He
boards around like district school
teacher, and it is meal time with him
twenty four hours in the day. The
rest of the time he bankers after
something to eat. He is too omniv-
erous for an epicure. Cram him at
Delnonico's, ami he would hunger
for dessert from an Albany boarding
house. He can't be utilized. He is
too tired. As sWill-cart locomotive,
a hunter, or g sentinel, he is an igno-
minious failure. The dog churn was
q strategic attempt to employ his
waste energies; but he hadn't any
waste energies, and butter had too
much self-respect to ''come" at his
persuasion. So the dog-churn was
dropped.
No sausage maker dare foreclose
his lien on the .4er dog, lest his
customers-no ! ger ''soothed and
sustained by Gnfaltering trust
transfer the; patronage to some less
audacious uealer. The savages who
admire baked dog, and who can even
attack tripe and explore the mysteries
Of hash. without dismay, acknowledge
the Waller dog to be too much for
their gastric intrepidity. He always
managed to belong to a ragged, tobac-
CO chewing, whisky drinking master,
whose business Is swapping dogs and
eVading the dog tax. The yaller dog
is acquainted with himself, and he
enjoys the intimacy with edlfying
contempt. He sinks along through
life, on diagonal dog trot, as II In
doubt as to which end of him is en-
titled to precedence. he is always
pervaded By hang-dog sense of guilt,
and when retributive tinWare is fast
ened to his tail, he "hees from the
wrath to come, with a Mortified
celebrity which ought to be very sug-
gestive to two-legged sinners of a
similar tinware ordeal IN store for
them.
The yaller dog is-is-well, to
speak in italics, he's stouch.-Hy