The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1869-07-07
How I Came to be Married.

1t may be funny, but I've done
it. I've got rib and baby.
Shadows dcparted-oystor stews,
brandy julips, cigars, boxes, boot
jacks, absconding shirt buttons,
whist and dominoes. Shadows
I present-hoop skirts, band-boxes,
gaiters, long stockings, Juvenile
dresses, little willow chairs, era
dies, pap, sugar totes, paragoric,
hive syrup, SIENNA, salts, squills
and doctors bills. Shadows fu-
ture-more blessed babies, hive
syrup, etc. I'll just tell you how
I got caught.
[ was always the darndest, most
tea-custard bashful fellow you ever
did soc it was kinder in my limo
to be taken with the shakes every
time saw pretty gal approach
ing me, and I'd cross tho street
any time rather than moet ono.
Twasn't because l didn't like tho
critters, for if was behind u fence,
looking through n knot-holo, I
couldn't look at one long enough.
Wcll, my sister Lib gave q party
ono night, and stayed away
from homo because was too bash
FIJI to face music. I hung around
the house, whistling "Old Dan
Tucker" dancing to keep my feet
warm, and watching the heads
bobbing up and down behind tho
window curtains, and wishing tho
laundering party would break up,
so [ could got to my room. I
smoked up a bunch Of cigars, and
it getting late and nightly un-
comfortable. concluded to shin up
tho door post. No sooner said
than done, and + quickly found
found myself snug in bed. "Now," "
says I. "let her rip dance till
your wind gives outl" and cud-
ding under tho quilts, Morpheus
rabbed mo.
l was dreaming of soft-shell
crabs and stewed tripe, when some
body knocked at the door and
walked mo up. Raped again. l
laid low. Rap, Rap, Rap
Then L heard whispcrin', and
l knew thcre was raft Of girls
| outside.
Rap, Rap!
Then Lib sings out -
"Jacz, are you in there p
"Yis, says l.
Then came roar of laughter.
"Lct us in" SAYS sho.
ri wont" says [ "can't you let
n fellow alone ?"
"Are you abed?" says she.
II am" says /.
"Get up" says she.
81 won't says [. Then cam O
another laugh. BY thunder! l be-
gan to get rilcd.
"Gct out, you pctticoat scare
crows" l cried.
"Can't you get q beau without
hauling felIer out Of bed ? |
won't go homo with you-I
won't-so you may clear out!"
Then throwing boot at tho
door, [ felt better. But, presently,
Oh ! mortal buttons. l heard Il
still, small voice, very much like
sister Lib's, and it said: Jack,
you'll have to got up, for all the
girls things are in there"
On, Lord, what q pickle L? think
of me in bed, all covered with
shawls, muffs, bonncts and cloalss,
and twenty girls outside waiting
to get in ! If l had stopped to
think, I would have tainted on the
spot. AS it was, | rolled out
among tho bonnet wire and rib
bons in n hurry.
Smash! went tho millinery in
every direction. I had to dress
in the darI<-for thcre was q crack
in the door, and the girls will poop
and tho way [ fummbIod about,
was death on straw hats. Tho
critical moment camo. [ opened
tho door, and found myself right
among The women.
"Oh my leghorni" cries one
"my dear darling winter velvet" ,"
crios another, and they pitched in
They pulled mo this way and
chat, boxed my cars, and one
bright eyod little pioce-Sal-was
her namo-put hor arms right
around my mock, and kissed mo
right on my lips. Human nature
couldn't stand that, and I gavo
her as good rs she sont. 1t was
powerfully good.
[ bolieve [ could have kissed
That gal from Julius Caesar until
tho fourth Of July. "Jack," says
she, two arc sorry to disturb you,
won't you SOC mo homer"
"Yos," said I, II will"
l did do it, and had another
smack at the gate, too.
After that, wo took turtle
doving after each othcr, and both
ofus sighed like q barrel of. now
cider when we woro away from