The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1869-09-08
WIT AND HUMOR.

Pear culture-match.m ing.
The definition Of pride by four year old:
Walking with cane when you amt Iamo.'
When lover dotes On his darling. re-
tusal acts as an anti
Ringleader-The parson. IL the marriage
service.
Whats the usc,'' said au idle fellow,
'of a mans working himself 10 death to get
a liying!"
Wood Is the thing after ALL as the man
with the oak leg said when the mad dog bit
it.
A promising young man may 90 very
WE'LL perhaps paying one much better.
How does that look, eh y" said Mr..
Cramp, holding out his brawny hand
That said Amos. ..looks as if ycu
were out OF soap"
A well known minister declares that his
choir has given him SO much trouble OH earth
that the idea Of music in the world to come
is wholly rcpugnant to his ideas of eternal
peace and rest.
A physician stopped at the door Of a
country apothecary, and inquired for
pharmacopGia. Sir" said the apotheca-
ry, II know of no such farmer living about
these parts
A girl, who plunled herself on being spl-
ployod in .'genteel family" was asked q
definition Of the term. Where they have
two or three kinds of wine and the gentle
men s.ear," was the reply.
Lady (whu is caavsssing for church
choir)-"I hope, Mrs. Giles, you will per-
suadc your husband to join US. I am tod
Aa ha. a vary snnnrnns rnica-f
Mrs. Ca sonoyous voice. All, You
should hear il Il romin' out Of hi. pose when
he's asleep ~ -.s..
A friend Of ours was congratula;ing him
self upon having recently taken a very
ploa SAINT trip. Upon inquiry, we found that
he had tripped and fell into young lady.
lap. .----..-'-.
Among the obituary notices of country
paper, We recently noticed the following:
"Mr. William Sayre, Of our village, aged
eighty three. passed peacefully away on
last Tuesday evening from singh blessed.
ness to matrimonial bliss, after short bat
sudden attack by Mrs. Lucretia Stoke,
bloomin widow of thirty-fve.' ..-
Whats an eclipse of the sun - asked
Sissy of Bub. "It's the moon coming be-
tween the earth and the SUM-" said Bub.
who looked as wise as college professor Of
astronomy, All" said Sissy, "you can't
cheat me that way; don't know better.
and that the moon never comes out in day.
light"
A little boy while coming down stairs.
was cautioned by his mother not TO lose his
balance. His question which followed was
a puzzler: Mother, if would lose my bal
ance. where would it go to ,"
One of these deyotees to Mammon once
received a lesson from an humble follower,
who did not seem to pay to him, the pos
SCISSOR of tho purse. sufficient homage. He
said. "Do you know, sir, that l am worth a
million dollars!" Yes" said the irritated
but not broken-spirited respondent, II do;
and know that it is all you are worth ~
Tell your contemplate general" said an
old woman in n village through which passed
the army Of Napoleon to one Of his corpo-
rails, ''tell him that have very despicable
opinion Of him. Il WILL" said the corpc-
raj, ''if you insist upon it; madnme-but
YOU can't think how it will distress him ~
In spite of mankind, said an arrogant
milionaire to noted clsrg ymsn. Il see
you have studied your own nature deeply"
was the quiet reply. $1,000
The Chinese Emperor, aged Is is soon to
be married. 1J -
-rn,E;;f n nnra Capiar- niii issne q u-w WORK
Dan Rice is building barn at Girerd.
Pa. which will cost $4,000.
The young King of Greece is said to have
become 9 drankard.
Madame Mulbach's health will not admit