The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-05-08
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CHIPS.


A good take: Take your county paper.
Fond Of misfortune. The lovers of Burns.
The Oldest woman's club: The b:oomssick.
Courtship is bliss, bat matrimony 10 klis
ter.
Useful domestic cookery: Making both
ends "meat."
Does dancing on the green sward make
one grasshopper
Nature teaches as TO loye oar friends, re-.
ligion our enemies.
In California the Grecian Bend il known
as the Pacific slope.
The vessel that no woman objects to em-
bark in a conrt-ship.
Which senator wears the largest hat7 The
one with the largest head.
Waists are as tight as ever, and papas are
becoming little more so.
If it takes two tuns to make pipe, how
many will it take to make cigar2
Ladies and Indians paint their faces. Ex.
tremes meet-ciTilization and barLarism.
The hairless ones of America spend Eve
hundred thousand dollars Q year on wigs.
If a man has nothing to say, be Is sure to
take much time and use many words In say.
ing it.
Many good kiss 10 nipped in the bad by
q four year old nuisance bringing o light into
the room.
A young woman's fancy is ike the moon,
which changes continually, bat always has Q
man in it.
A lady in this city, some weeks since, en-
gagged herself to twenty gentlemen. But IL
was at q ball.
'Refect before you act, bat when the time
for action arrives, stop thinking" was o
maxim Of General Jackson.
A Cincinnati genius adyertises for . situa-
ton, saying that "work is not 30 mach an
object as good wages"
An Australian physician has emred the
bite Of deadly serpents by injecting ammo
nia into the veins Of the patient.
An irritable man having been disappointed
in his boots, threatened to chaw up the shoe
maker, bat compromised by drinking cob
bier.
Although lawyers are a class Of men whose
honesty Of purpose is universally suspected,
we must acknowledge that they never object
to doing good.
A man boasting Of the smartness of his
children, said that the youngest was 50 smart
that it would take its hand of hot store
without being told.
''Where are yOa gOing7' asked gentle
man Of an acquaintance. i1To see friend.n
"Then should like TO 20 with you, for /
never saw one yet"
A sign in Pittsfeld, Mass, which until
recently read rs follows: "Cobbling dun
heer, ;" has been changed to read as follows:
maid and repaired"
a Western paper having ennounced the
shooting Of Wild cat by little boy i've
feet eight inches long," an exchange asks
what they call big boys there.
At recent house warming in New Brit
ain, Conn, a pie three feet nine inches long
by one foot eight inches wide, was among
the refreshments, and it was all eate1.
An Irishman being asked why he refused
to pay Doctors bill, said ''Sure he didn't
give me anything but some emetics, and
diTil o one would lay on me stummick.o
An Irishman recently said "What
waste of money to be buyin mate when you
know the half of it is bone, while you can
spind it for whisky that hasn't bone In
it, at al"
1 stump speaker exclaimed: Il know no
North, no South, no East, no West, fellow
citizens I" ssThen," exclaimed an old far
mer in the crowd, s'it's time you went to
school and larnt jographY."