New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1869-05-23

! motifs in an evenin paper which ! got
hold nv last mite lit come wrapped around a
new bonnit wich Mirandy Pogram received
from Looisvillel that Yallandygum's organ,
and in fact, most NV the Democratic papers
Nv the North, he'd decidid that the only hope
for the DemOcrlsy is to bury the dead past,
throw overheard the lumber, clear the decks
for ackshen and 90 in to win.
Before l he'd fnisht reading the extracEs,
| fell into a most profound Sleep the words
Nv the text, LET us bury the ded past
being forcibly fixed in my mind. Sleeper,
/ dreamed, ez | alluz do.
In my vision l found myself a standin in
front Nv an immense buildin, witch he'd bin
erected for the purpose of holdin Demo-
cratic Nashnel COnvenshin into. Over the
archway witch served as AN entrance wuZ
this inscripshen: "NothiA succeeds like sue
Cess-enything for success" Ez | felt that
hev rite to participate in enything Dem.
ocratic, l entered the buildin, and, inter
dOosin myself TO the Kentucky delegashen,
observed the percedins. A committee he'd
bin appinted on ''the cOndishen and pros
pex Nv the Democratic party and that
committee wuZ Jest reportin.
They informed the convenshun that De-
mocracy wuZ in decidedly bad way, and
that they saw but one way out Of the pOlti.
kle wildernis in wich they he'd bin wanderin
for eight long yeers like second Israelites,
without the mamma to live onto wich the
first he'd, and that way wuZ to bury the dead
past and throw overheard the dead weights
that he'd fettered the Democracy and per
vented EN- from Winnin the heats Wich they
so much desired.
"Amen!n shouted Valandygum aloud,
addin in an undertone, ''thatll kill Pendle-
TOM
'Amen - shouted Pendleton, addin in a
whisper to one nv of his guard wich accom-
panied him to Moo York, that kills of Val.
landygum.H
And each Of the leaders hollered "Amen"
feelin that the ackshen killed of everybody
else. 1T is well - sed the Chairman. Now
let's get at this work Nv buryin the dead
past eZ soon as possible, for the Lord knows
there enough OF it to do. And when it's
all done the democracy, relieved and
strengthened, will so on Conkerin and to
conker."
A hearse was drawd up afore the Chair.
mans desk, who called out in stentorian
voice, wat shall we commence on?7
Free trade may be counted as a hefty
part of the dead past, remarkt a delegate
| from Pennsylyany.n
Hustle it inv yelled the Convenshun,
| and it wuz accordingly hustled.
''We may ez well be buried with it, sed
| the Moo York importin Dimocrats, and they
composed themselves beside it, and the
| hearse pulled out.
THE Virginia resolooshens." sung out
| the chairman, and forthwith Garrett Davis
| and his followers remarkt that eff them res
olooshens wuz part Nv the dead past, they
must be countid in ez dead pastors also, and
sendin their regrets TO their constituents,
| they composed their limbs for buriel and the
1 hearse loaded with the fearful weight rolled
| out.
estates Rites" sung out the chairman,
and forthwith all Nv the party knowed more
pertickerly as Conservative Copperheads
n 1. 81
| within. 1t took large mum Der Of hearses
TO carry this load, and the taken Nv EN- out
thinned the convenshen terribly.
| secession ~ wuZ the next call made by
| the chairman, and lmmejitly all the Knites
Nv the Golden Circle, and the Sons Nv Lib
erty nv the North and nine-Cenths Nv the
| Southern delegates fell PROSTATE with their
hands up to be tied, and their eyes closed
to hev pennies put unto EN-.
"SlaVery!' sung out the chairman, and
to wunst there wuz sound like the rushin
nv many waters. Down went full half Nv
wat wuz left Nv the Convenshun, and Q
long time wuZ consoomed in pickin NV en-
up and loadin EN- in.
HRepoodeashen !" wuz the next call, anC
without sigh. the delegates from Southern
Illinoy, Injeany and Ohio, went down anC
Wuz loaded.
"Class suffrage remarkt the chairman
nervously, for the convention wuZ gittiI
fearfully thin, and with groan, twotnirdl
of wat wuz left wuz huddled into the hearsel
witch went out slowly.
Now" sed the chairman, "let tht
lumber, the dead weights, them whose pres
ence in our party makes it a stencil in thu
nostrils Nv the Amerikin people, let then
be buried that we may heV nothin in GU
ranks Objectionable"
And immejitly the drivers Nv the hearse
precipitated themselves upon Vallandygum
II n, LT.lr
man, Frank Peerce, and all nv that class
wch by the way WuZ all that remained.
The chairman lookt at me WOolfshly, ani
| / gloWered at him.
7'Sirl" sed he, 81 must carry 700 out and
bury 700, an then -"
"And then wat :" sed
"And then l spose must commit sooi-
side, ez voted for all them, witch we hey
buried, and for all the principles we heI
this day CONDEMNED. l spose l, too, am
dead weight"
Aud be went for me, but doorin the strug
gle wich ensued, ] swoke.
The dream Wuz only dream, and WI
glad that It wuz So. It's all very well Z
/ talk nv burning dead iss0os, and 30 on, bat
sposin we undertake that HeTculian task
,Sat followsg Troo we hey bin regulerlJ
bustid on distinctive Democratic isshoos,
but when we throw en- overheard wat y lei
nv us2 In wat resDeck do we dlHeF rom
the Ablishinists. Eff We knock out Nv w
Democratic creed the assertion that tn
Niger is a babboon wat is TO prevent US
. from goin over to Wendell Phillips and EN-
bracin Fred Douglasf
Five count States rsses and secession ant
sich. dead ishoos, and hist EN- out nv on
nlatform. wherein do We differ from th
blood thirsty wFetches who drenehed tb
country with g5ce7 Fl We deny the divin
rte Iu9 repoediashen, do We not to wuns
2 how our necks TO the bondholders, and b,
= come the grinders Nv the faces nv the fe'
: Dimocrisy Wich pay taxesy Andh we bur
o them Wich hev made theirseises obnoxyu
q To Ablishnists BY advocatin ell their do
4 trines, ii what pertikeler do we differ iroI
: the Ablishnists theirseiyes who heY bin tryi
y to bury EN- for the past twelve years An
e when We cut out NV our creed sll INST
troolv and distinctively Democratic we he
is no creed left, so when we bury all ~ We
NJ @ich hey held to these creeds do we Duly Y
Ile DumolTatic party. -.
ch The 9dea, however II may look tneore
eaIe, won't do 10 practis. We must s.
- AeAa together. trnstin 10 the folly Nv 2
= Auttl b rather than 20 our own strenSl
= SOMA l turn ID sometime 70 let Us q
g e. w ash and kin endoor long emu
II rEI tlsI Y. Il AsBY, P. NJ,