The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-02-05
Practical Jokes.

Practical Jokes.
A young French gentleman who led
very gay life, going to bed late and get
ting up late lodged in an entresol. A milk
woman took up her position under his
window and the chattering Of her custo.
mers, with the braylng of her donkey, Of
fectually destroyed his slumbers. In vain
he demonstrated! the milk-woman said
she had right to the pavement, and
that place suited her. He got up, went
out, and reasoned with her. No good.
What, then, would she take to select
another station? Nothing; he was an
aristocrat, and she made 1t point ofhon-
or to stand upon her rights.
"well, them" he said at last, "since you
will not listen to reason, must appeal to
your donkey;" and he whispered In Ned
dy's ear, the crowd which he had gather
ed round laughing at him till he ran In.
Presently, however, the donkey began to
kick and plunge as If It were possessed.
spillng all the milk, butter, cheese, etc.
The woman cried out "witchcraft;" the
crowd took up the cry; and there was
such riot that the police came.
"what Is the mattery" asked the CON-
missary.
"a young man who lives on the enire'
sol has bewitched my ass" replied the
milk-woman.
"POoh, pooh," said the commissary
but the woman would nSobe pooh, pooh.
ed, and he had to take her up to the gen.
tleman's apartments, and confront him
with the complaint.
She told her story at length. The
young man waited patiently till she had
quite done, and then said,-
"Sir,thi woman has spoiled my nights
rest for this month past. have complain
ed. have cntrcated; she has scorncd my
request and prayers. could not revenge
myself upon woman; but her donkey,
who is masculine, had no such claim upon
my forbearance; besides the peculiar cries
of the animal are what Is most distressing
to me. This ass rs avaricious as his mis-
trcss. has a sister upon whose succession
he counted, but who is going to marry
again; II was this news, whispered by me
In his ear, which exasperatcd him to such
degree that he conducted himself In SO
| l,,in an ,,,onnor
The commissary, who could hardly
keep his countenance, said that the young
man had better pay for the milk that was
split, and advised the milk-woman to
move her station beyond the reach Of
q man who had such peculiar power OF
conversation with animals. Both assent.
ed, and the woman took the money, cross
ed herself, and went.
"And now, them" said the commlssary
to the young man, show did you do itT'
81 dropped lighted fuse into, the
brutc's ear" said he.
A French auditor Of accounts In the sew
entecnth century was a great practical
Joker all his life, and even played a trick
after he had lost the power of enjoying 1t,
for he LEFT four large candles to be carried
Mt his funeral, which had been burning
iiftccn minutes before they went of rs
fireworks.
When lady condcsccnds to practical
joke, 1t is generally very neat one. NJ.
Boncourt, the rich fnancler, was very
stingy to his wife In the matter Of pin
money. One day lady, closely yelled,
and very anxious not to be recognized,
called upon him and borrowed 4 large
sum, leaving her diamonds us pledge.
1t was his wife.
The French thieves sometimes used to
steal so finnily that even their victims
were half inclined to pardon them.
The Duke of Frausac, nephew Of Mar
shall Richclicu, was coming out of the OPP
era one night in splendid dress cmbrold-
cred with pearls, when two thieves man.
aged to cut Off his coat tails. He turned
into his club where everybody laughed ut
him, and so he found out what had hap
pcncd, and went home. Early the next
morning. a we'll dressed man called at the
dukes hotel, and demanded to see him at
once OH matter of most vital Importance.
Monster de Frausac was awakened.
"Monseigneur," said the visitor, vi am
an officer of police. Monster the licuten-
ant has learned the accident which hap,
pencd to you yesterday Oh leaving the op.
era, and I have been sent by him to re-
quest you to order the coat to be placed
In my hands, that we may convict the Of
tenders by comparing it with the mutila'
ted tails"
The dress was given mp, and the duke
was in rapturcs, with the vigilance OF the
police. But il was new trick Of the
rogue who had stolen the tails, by which
he possessed himself of the entire gar
ment.
| Good Hams.
After hams have been smoked, take