The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-01-09
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
THE cocKRoAcH.

lie liz wun NV the luxurics NV civiliza-
shun.
He IL easy tew domestikate, yielding
gracefully tew ordinary kindness, and new
er deserting those who show him proper
acts NV curtesy.
We are led tew believe, upon q cluss
examination Nv the outward crust Nv
theze fashunabe insekts, that tha are a
highly successful intemarriage between
the brunette pisSmire, and the artikilus
bevo," ur common American grass'h hop
per.
Naturalists, however, differ, which il
tew be lamcnted, for diversity Nv senti.
ment, upon matters 50 important tew the
pece Nv mind and moral advancement Nv
mankind in the lump, creates distrust,
and tends tew sap the substrata Nv oil
bug ethicks.
But let the learned and polite pull hair
az mutch az tha pleze about the ancestral
claims NV the cockroach, it iz our bizzi-
ness aud duty, as bug skrewtinizers, tew
show the critter up az VIC find him, with
out caring who hiz grandfather or grand.
mother waz.
Thare IL no mistaking the fakt that he
IL wun Nv numerous family, aud that
hiz attachment tew the hum NV hiz boy
hood speeks louder than thunder fur hiz
affectionate and unadulterated natur.
lie don't leve the place he wuz born at
upon the slightest proyacation, like the
giddy and vagrant flea, ur the feroshus
bcdbug, and until dcth Our sum vile pow
der, the invenshun Nv nan) knocks at hiz
frunt door, be aud hiz bruthcrs and sis
tcrs may be seen with the naked eye, ev-
er aud anon camly charming the shoogar
bowl or running fo0t-races between the
buttur-plates.
Haow strange il IL that man, made out
Nv dirt, checpist material in markit, and
the most plenty, should be 30 determined
to rid the world Nv every living bug but
himself.
don't doubt If he cud hav hiz own
way six years, every personal cockroach
wud be nocked off from the buzzum Nv
the footstool, aud no. even pair Nv them
left to repair damages with.
Such liz man
The cockroach il born on the fust Nv
May and the fust Noyembur semi-annual
ly, and IL reddy fur use in fifteen days
frum date.
Tha are born frum en- egg, four frum
eeoh egg, and consequently tha are awl
twins. Thare il no sich thing in the an,
nails NV natur az a single cockroach.
The maternal bug don't set upon the
egg az the goose doth, but leyes them tew
lie around luce, like pint Nv split mus
tard seed, and don't seem TO care a darn
whether tha get ripe ur not.
Blu: never knew cockroach egg tew
fail tew put in an appearance. Tha are az
sure tew bach out and run as a Kanada
thistle, ur a bad kold.
The cockroach il Nv tew kullers, sorrel
and black. Tha are alwus on the mooye
and kan trot, | shud say, on gud track
and gud da, cluss tew 3 minnits.
Thare fude seems tew konsist, not 50
mutch on what tina eat az what tha trav-
| il, and often finding them ded, in my supe
at the boaiding- house, hey kun tcw the
konklusion that cockroach kant swim,
but tha kan float.
NaturaIists hev also declared tha. the
cockroach has no double teeth Thus ia
an important fakt, aud ought tew be in.
troduccd intew all the primary skule buk:
nv Amerika.
But the most interesting lecture Nv
this remarkable bug il the luvlyness Wv
thare naturs. Tha kant bite, nor sting
nor skratch, nor even jaw back. Tha are
so amiable hev even known them tew
get stuck in the butter, and lay thare al
day, aud not holler for help, aud aktually
die at last with broken hart.
Tew realize the meekness Nv thcze IN,
kumplaining little fcllcrs, let the philo
sofck mind just fer wun moment com.
pare Them tew the pesky flea, who light
upon man in hiz strength and woman in
her weakness like red hot shot; or teW
the warbling musketo, wild frum NJ,
jersey cat.tail marsh, with Miz dagger in
hiz mouth asking for blood; or, horror
NV horrors tew the midnight bed bug
who kreeps out Nv a crack az still and az
lean az a shadow aud bitches on tew the
buzzum Nv buty like starved lcech.
Evry man haz a right tew pick hil
playmates, but az fur me, had rather
visit knee deep amung cockroaches than
tew heer the dieing embcrs Nv q single
muskceter's song in the rune jineing, III
tew know that thare wuz just wun bed
bug left in the wurld, and he wuz waiting
fur my kandle tew go out and fur me tev
pitch intew bed.
In konklusion, tew show that / ain
fdleun, wud be willing, if | had them
tew swap ten fust-class feas emmy tim,
fur small sized cockroach. and if tht
feller komplained that l had shaved hin
in the trade, wud return the cockroach
and sware that we wuz even.