The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1869-02-26
Modern Sllals.
From the Times and Messenger

Modern Shams.
From the Times and Messenger.
Some people insist that the world
becomes more realistic and utilitari-
an every day. Upon what grounds
do they make the assertion? To us
it seems that the tendency Of things
in general is in the opposite direc-
tion-that arti6ciality Is the bsset-
ting sin of the generation, and that
the substantial is everywhere giving
place to the simulated and mere
tricious. Counterfeits-material, NOR
al, and religious-are encountered
at every turn. Sugars have less
sacchariHe matter in them than they
used to hare, saints less piety.
Woolcns are largely adultcrated
with cotton, moral philosophers arc
vindictivc, temperance men tipple
on the sly. Everything is for a
day, nothing for all time. Furni.
ture of the most plausible appear
ance turns out to be made Of green
wood, and "solid' merchants whose
n mes are good for tens of thous.
an>'s on Saturday afternoon prove
to 9 men of straw on Monday morn.
ing. But too many of the so-called
guardians of fife and property arc
rogues in uniform, and tho spies Of
the mercantile agencies sometimes
allow their principles to succumb to
their interests. The leg-drama is
not all genuine leg, and female
understandings in private life are
not unfrequently supplemented by
Illuminate matter. Chignons are a
delusion, and the long curls that
ripple down the backs of the beauti-
full are mere commodities. No man
knows what his ladye love is made
of. .uaail he has married. her, and
then perchance he may find that the
kernel bears but an unsstisfying
proportion to the shell.
Never were appearances as de-
ceitful as now. Indeed, one almost
feels inclined to adopt the meta
physical dogma of Sir Thomas
Browne, that nothing is and every
thing is not. We call for whiskcy,
and they feed out to US fusil oil we
solicit brandy, and they give US
tannin, and unrectified SPIRITS
Worse than all, We have to pay more
for being poisoned than We formerly
paid for being healthfully exhiler-
ated. Even thcPERA NATURE are
tampered with-the waterfowl ped
died through the streets as canvas
backs'' being mere ''red- heads. !"
Our "coppers' are not copper, but
worthless amalgam, and our rag
and lamp black dollars are not worth
within thirty-ive cents of the value
expressed on their faco. Tho negro
is not the black fellow of former
days, but our ''colored BROTHER
and our thieves have beon trans
formed into kleptomaniacs. II you
buy a coffin for rosewood. the chan
ces are that it is veneered for ad-
vantage is taken Of the weepers as
we'll as Of the wassailers. Nay,
even the planet which We were
taught in our youth to regard as .
solid ball. is declared to be mere
crust stuffed with with s'incande-
scent matter" and liable to burst
up at any moment. We are not
even sure Of the ground we stand
upon, nor that tho marrow house,
We are to occupy when we leave tho
contract built shells in which We
reside while living will afford secur-
ity to our dust. How, then can
this be justly called the .:Age Of
Realities :" Pshaw ! It is the Age
Of Veneer, and at least half the
people arc "Veneerings."
The Hon. Eliphalet Price gives
the following interesting history Of
Iowa counties and county names:
The State Of Iowa has ninety:
nine counties, ffty-nine Of which
have names of distinguished Ameri-
can-born men, ten Of which have
been President Of the United States;
twenty-eight were statesmen; !; eight
teen were generals in the army !;