North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-07-28
A. McGREGOR, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, JULY %, 1862
A Dutehman's Com plaint.

A Dutehman's Complaint.
dinks much about do war und de draf
und de rebils, und all about desc dings.
dinks about 'em more as about anydin,
else. Sometimes I sets NIT myself al
day on de front stoop, upd schmokes, unt
drinks hard cider, and does noting els
only drink; den my wife she gifts me d.
teufel for drinkin so much, und ses vo
peter 60 und see after Jacop, our hire
man, und not bodder my head NIT more al
can understand. But tells her wha
shall vomens know about war? better sh'
goes und mindts her own piseness.
drubles myself more about Abraham q,
about Jacop.
Ven gifts tired NIT drinkin on my owl
stoop, goes down to Hans Butterfoos''
tavern, und l drinks dere, und tells my
obinion, und some oder one tells hi,
obinion. und we makes him out togedder
De odder day begins de draft. Dat bod
ders me agin. Some goes in for de draft
mostly dem as is too olt, and Won't be tool
demself; some goes agin de draft; und
some don't know vich way to goes, bu'
ony goes roundt and roundt, und gets
boddered like dam so as do.
But, nefer mind, dinks / must find dis
ding out, und down goes to Hans Butte,
foos und hears de fellers bio. dom,
make nottin nit dat dey oil bios some
oder vay, und don't dink dey hef him
rite in dere own mindts. So ! begins und
asks questchun; und ses to Bill Puff
enshtoek :
"vot you dinks Won de draft, dat it il
right?"
And ses Bill: "No, l dinks ct ain'
right"
Veil, l don't believes him, caus he
sheated me vonce NIT plind mare he sells
on me. So l dries again and shpeaks mi
Fritz Hoekenshplicer.
"Fritz," l ses, "vot do you dinks 70,
de draft, eff it's right or not?''
And Fritz, he ses, dat he "dinks it j
shust so as it ought to be-"
But l don't believes him neder, 'caus
he run'd against me last year for de peac
Of shustice, und dey make him de peac
dat is de shustice. Und he ish no NOR,
good for shquire as my old cat. So gif
up askin somebody, und make him on
myself. ] dinks in dis shtyle: de reason
dey 60 mid de draft, is becos dey wan
sojers. If dey don't get no sojers den de,
can't bring on de war. Et dey DON
bring on de war den dey don't lick d
) rebils. Eff dey don't licks de rebils, de
de rebils licks dem. Ef the rebils lick
: dem den we all 20 to ter tuyfel. Dat
pooty straight. So much.
Now must dink of some more vot
de next ding? / dink dat's all rite b.
now l shtops, soueding else comes ur
Let me sees. Oh, yes; dry hundred dol
lars-dat's de ding-dey oil bios about d
uEy uuuuICu uOIIOISs uIuAS ~ YOU
Dry hundred dollars don't licks de rebi
no more as dry hundred cents. Vot's
goot NIT dollars? Peter good, shma,
sojer, like my Shorge, he licks de rebi
more as six hundred dollars; yes! Now
knows more as ELL Puffenshtoek Tn
Fritz IIoekenshplicer, both togedder. W
want de sojers, not de money. Dat
where de bodder is. We putty 500
make, money enu6; but paper sojers
ony goot nit wooden guns, so when d
, draft comes und ven men ses here is DR.
hundred dollars, shtays behindt un
don't fight the rcbils, den if l was d
draft takes dat man by his preeches un
1 says 60 to the tuyvel nit your dollar
aud come along NIT me like some ode
man as has got no dollars und don't lik
! to 80 sojerin so bad as not you didn',
pretty soon / gets so much as want
, dat's my idears. tells my olt woman
deg drafts me goes myself. To be SUR
!. l don't dink dey will, caus ! am more {
fifty years but nefer mind. l should 2
a long while, like my Shorge, only dere
two dings l don't like, and one is d
marchin und de udder is de ftin. soon,
> marches down to Hans Butterfoos uu
fights dere. Eff Shelf Davis comes del
8 on me, gifs him dam, you peter ho
beleye; but of I goes to Richmond, ma
. be Shelf Davis he gives me dam.
}. anyhow, shtays home. De oder da.
: my Shorge he comes back NIT furlov
e He is so much corporal as ever va
und shpeaks NIT him about desc ding
und gifs you now what he sees:
"Shorge," I asks him, ''you've bin m
de rebils und NIT dc army, und NIT O
Abe, und desc felleis; vot you dinks vo
dis draft dat all de beeples bios about ~
Und he sees to me: "Oh, tunder ~
Well, dats his opiniuns. Maybe h
I shall know Something's to. He's prett
shmart since he goes for sojcr. II
shwears like man six foots high, un
!. calls mudder "olt voman," und he cal
mo ''cap," uud he kisses de gals. und h
calls Jacob ''dam fool dinks he gel
some high offs before de war is gone.
GoTTLlEB KLoBBERYoss.