, 1869-07-02
THE GORGEOUS CHANDLER.

| THE GOA13EOUS CHANDLER.
The American statesman, known at times
as the great Micl-i-gander, aud at others, ir-
reverently, as Buttyface, goes to Europe.
Our exchanges eome to US laden with the
notes of preparAtipn. The statesman goes in
state. It is well that he does. 1t would
not be the great Chandler otherwise.
This state, we ,re told, runs considerably
10 colored persons Not less than four ac-
company the gorgeous Michigander. Two
of these are male eOlored persons, and are to
be devoted to the Senator. Two are female,
and are equally divided between wife and
daughter AL are in livery. The male col
ored persons have hats that defy description
Their coats are resplendent in gold embroi-
derry. Grape vines are worked on the back,
with the Chandler coat,ofrarms on the coat>
tails. The female colored persons wear
gowns, made Of the American flag, with
huge belts ahd buckles exhibiting the coat
of arms. Ihe Chandler coat-of. arm is, we
presume, a gander cOuchant, with yard-stiek
and scissors, and the monogram in gold on
sky-blue field made up of parcels of alspice,
pepper, salt and soap.
For the first time in our eventful history,
United States Senator goes forth in state
to astonish the world. We are panied that
the grand c. did not accomplish this design
while the famous Exposition was in session at
Paris. The effete despotisms of shaken
Europe would have weakened before this
gorgeous representative of the young Re-
public.
This cannot be helped now The next
best thing is what the illustrious Senator is
doing. Let him add to his magni6cence by
putting on the uniform of .Brigadier Gen.
eral and wearing huge sword. If, at in.
tervals, he will open his throat and deliver
one of his famous Senatorial efforts, drawing
his sword in illustration, the effect will be
fine. 1t will approach that of certain other
gorgeous gentlemen of a self-constituted
sanitary commission, who go about in gilt
chariots with fellows in livery, who blow
horns and distinguish themselves by extract
ing decayed grinders. The great Chandler
can, at any time, set ones teeth on edge,
and, iE ahis way, the pursuits of the two
professionals arc something akin. We mean
no pun here, although some feeble minded
people may SO believe.
We shall watch the result Of this demon
stration with some anxiety. II Europe is
not shaken, the devil is in it. 1t happily
comes upon the heels of Summers famous
effort. Bot that was the wind; this is the
rain. That was the lightning this is the
thunder The Alabama claims will be set
tied by immediate payment, with humble
apologies, aud promises never to do so any
more. Tie British lion will drop his head
and tail, and Louis Napoleon, pointing at
him, will exclaim in abominable French
for he is nothing but Dutchman-"ce! ans
in,ale est 6ein malade."
We thought to see something of this sort
when the noted Forney, of the multitudi>
nous dailies, visited Europe. We were
grievously disappointed. Forney was not
equal to the occasion. We invested much
stock in Forney, almost as much as the gen.
'tleman invested himself, and We lost heavily
Now, however, we organize victory. Chand-
Ter goes forth freighted with our hopes, suS-
tanned by the gorgeous cOlored persons.
The primative days of the Republic have
passed from US forever. Time was when we
took an absurd delight in the simplicity of
our statesmen. We were happy in the blue
swallow.tails and brass buttons of Clay and
comforted that they stood unadorned, other
wise than by intellect, in the presence Of
frivolous courts. But the great element Of
power, wealth, has come to change all that
The Congressional snob, made in one of na>
ture's severest fits of economy, brains his
opponents with his money bags, and buys
his way to place. He may not say anything
in the House or Senate worth remembering,
or remembered only through shame, but bis
equipsge is stunning, and his house is q
aunkey's paradise.
The question that precedcs a new Con-
gresham in Washington society now is not
"Can he shine ?" but "Will he entertain 2"
The wealthy Solon takes a huge house, and
makes tremendous exhibit of upholstery.
Here gliding and carving take the place of
brain, and wine and Viands the place of wit.
Madame bows you in with digniied grace
that comes of long practice in the shop, and
Soon angles with like ease, at that point of
his body made flexible by counter. The
first is voluble on the weather, dress, or
servants, and the last talks newspaper polls
tics and gets beastly drunk, to show his So
cial hilarity. Such is now the social legis>
idtifo iiio VI Jul pOiIeiOoi uOtIOpOIlo'
Some absurd croakers assert that all this
indicates the decay of the Republic These
are the sort that like the good old man in
"Our Mutual Friend" are continually de-
clining and falling, Alier the manner of the
Roman Empire. The Zach. Chambers are
dissgreeable lot. We would like to have
done with them. But they will not sink
the ship of State.
And this reminds us of our intended
brief mention of the departure of c. for
Europe. May prosperous gales press in the
shoulder Of his sail. We will not wish him
health, for . man who has so often been
"half seas over" must, by this time, have
pretty good legs, and no end of stomach
Gin. Com.
Mr.. Joshua Billings says, 'One of the
funniest secenes ever see, wuz two old
maids waitin on one sick widower.'