The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1869-12-22
"a zTna 7 RA1ARxaAnGHnRAzu.
No. : Gov, ahs who tho deuce
are are these Sauoers p

No. Gov, ah2 who tho deuce
are are these Sauoers p
No. 2: ssIdnwn't know, indeed"
No. 8: "What's tho hodds, 80 long
yor happy, who paye the champagne 7"
In one corncr were Dutohmap,
his daughter and frow tho Ddtohman
had some cheese in one hand aud
glass of beer in the other.
At the extreme end of the hall, or
raised platform, an immense band
was discoursing most outrageous mu
sic. Hore and there Inoticed ono or
TWO respectable acquaintenances. NJ
wife was not visible, but my youngest
(Johnny) was in the midst Of the live
liest group, one leg Of his pants on
and the other off, us if he had been
put to bed and then and there revolted
against the indignity.
Hello, Saucer 20 said my friend
Jones; "why can't understand it."
"Nur l."
"What's that you know I"
emo, come here o moment" I took
him into side room. "Jones, I have
just returned. This is all news to me.
My wife has evidently beon imposed
on in some villainous way, and am
going to break it up"
"Is that SO 7" he inquired, with o
merry twinkle in bis eye.
eyes ; now suggest something"
He shut one eye, seeming to ponder
moment. Suddenly bright idea
struck him.
"You have q pump here, plenty OF
hose aud muddy water 7"
eyes, for purposes Of fire."
"But, Jones | Muddy water, that's
pretty rough"
"Oh never mind that how about
the carpet ~
ooh blast the carpet tp'
l took him around to the back
stairs from them ladder mounted
to the skylight. Jones ascended with
the muEzle in his hand. I pulled of
my coat anil caught hold of tho lever.
Jones had now attained his position
and sung out, "Let her gush.''
And she gushed with vengeance.
"How goes !" / asked.
"Saucer, if yon could only see The
can.cans. Oh my, what row
"Give those skylarks twist" said
"Oh !! my oye, Saucer, If you coult
only see them. Ha ha ! what fun. >
"Give my old Dutohman a show
or"
"Oh! my eye and buttons, CAM
you get some one else to pump, ant
come up and see the fun. Oh do p
Meanwhile had pumped up about
two hundred gallons. A long pause
Presently I heard something com
menoe to roll down the roof. I got uI
the ladder in time to catch Jones
who, overcome by laughter, had lost
ell control over the muzzle.
"Well," sid T, rs soon 90 he wa'
hl. :" p nk, "did you sprinkle then
lively What auccess I"
"Not man lef.--all scattered pol
NELL"
"Jones, you arc genius; will not
you tomorrow"
1t was time had looked up my
wife, and I ran at once to- her.
found her in fit of histerics.
."My God, Symphy, what's all this p
"Oh, mo, don't, don't. didn''
mean to have all these people here
it was all o mistake indeed, it was.'
"Of course it was but, tell mo all
about it," KILL.
"Well,''sho replied, weeping. "you
know this was my reception night"
"I assure you it's all news to me-"
eyes, that is true but anyhow, il
was my reception night, and I left
everything to Mike"
"To Mike who Is he ~
''He is the new porter l engaged.
gave him the invitations to deliver.
He oan't road, and distributed them
among bis friends. Oh, my p' said
she again, going into hysterios. "Oh,
dear John, please take me back to our
home into the country.
"I'll do it.''
We are now domiciliated in our old
home, and I can look back with con-
siderable complaconoy on my wife's
reception nipht.