The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1869-08-20


DIDATE FOR GOVERNOR IN HIS MOD
EST WAY.
PEPPERS TAVERN. HOLMES Co.,
August 8, 1869.
There wuz 4 Providence in my be
in compelled to leave Kentucky
speshel and crownin Providence il
nv comm to Ohio. | shell neve
doubt Providence agin. though
it hard to be compelled to leave m.
comfortable quarters at the Corners
and | murmured when forced to trus
myselfto the cold charities Nv an un
feelin world at my advanst age, bu
it wuz after all for the best. Ez higl
and exaltid ez is the posishen Nv I
Kentucky Post Master, the posisher
Nv Governor of the third State Nv the
Yoonyun is more exalteder.
The declinin Nv Gen. Rosecran:
wuz not unexpected. Indeed, wher
Senator Thurman started for Califor.
MIA the next day after the Conven-
shen to indoose him to decline,
knowed he wood succeed. Thurman
hez winnin way with him ez Vallan-
dygum discovered two years ago nexi
winter.
Rosycrans wuznt never the proper
man to lead the Democrisy NV Ohio
to victry. No matter how sound he
may be on all the questions now be-
fore the people, there is an odor at
tached to his name wich is stencil
into our nostrils, and the men wich
run our State Convenshun ought to
have knowed it. The troo Dimocrat-
ic intelleck is limited-it don't take
in too many ideas to wunst, nor does
it shift with facility. Doorin three
years Nv the late onpleasantness we
wuz kept bizzy trainin the Dimocrisy
to hate this name, with sich ez Burn
side, ct cetery. We succeeded
About the time Nv the 6ghtin Nv the
battles Nv Stone River, IukY, Chica-
mauga, and partikerly about the date
NV the arrest and exil Nv our then
martered saint, Vallandygum, the
very mention NV Rosycrans' name
wood heV set any Dimocrat in Ohio to
frothin at the mouth like mad dog.
The Dimocratic antipathy to the
name amt changed. We mite tell
EN- that this same Rosycr4ns wuz our
candidate, but the people wood, in
moments of forgetfulness, heevs
stones al any man who wood perpose
"three cheers for Rosycransl" They'd
apolygize immejitly when they re-
membered themselves, but kin an
apology repay for broken head2--
Half Nv our orators wood hev bin
killed before the campaign wuz half
over. There amt no yOOse in tryin
to git up enthoosiasm under sich cir
cumstances.
Now that Rosycrans is out Nv the
way, the question is, w!ch Nv our
chieftains shell take his place? :?
For obvious reasons, it wood be
sooicidle to nominate Vallandygum.
He can't get a Republican vote, and
ther are hosts Nv Democrats who
don't like to hsv it sed they voted for
him out Nv regard for their posterity.
1t won't do to nominate Cary, for he's
too recent convert, and, besides, he
used to occasionally lecter on tenn
perance. Ranney won't answer be-
coz Ranney alluz wears clean shirts ,
takes a bath twict a week, and g pes
somewhere to church with his family
evry Sunday. He would doubtless
git some Republican votes, but he'd
lose more than enuff Nv the Demec-
racy to balance the account. Henry
Clay Dean wood SCOT exactly but he
lives in Iowa. Jessee D. Brite wood
auser, but he is citizen Nv Kentucky.
Sammy Cox hez alluz lived cleanly,
tho he is sufisiently versatile to
change all that in time, but oufortu-
nately, he's in Spain, and, besides,
he's a citizen Nv Moo York.
WHO THEN Shell WE NOMINATE
| anser without hesitashen, with
out any afectashen Nv modesty-ME.
l am just now, the chief among ten
thousand, and the one altogether
lovely. am the Moses Wich is to
Iced the Democracy Nv Ohio out Of
their land Nv bondage into the land
howin with milk and honey.
One advantage in nominaiin me
wood be-there aint no danger Nv my
declinin. never decline nothin.
1t may be urged that l amt
known. That's the very reason why
l shood be nomintaid. What wood
ValIandygum give eff he wuzn't
known? We never succeed with a
known candidate We kin say in
counties where they prefer men whose
hands wuz drencht in goar that kill
ed my thousands; in counties where
they went for peece, by KILN Provo
Marshals and sich-that l wood heV
died in my door yard, eff I'd he'd one,
sooner than hev gone South.
My other pints are ez follows
kin hold more Nv the Democrat.
10 party strate in traces than any 9th.
er man in the State. 1 wuz originel'
ly Democrat; l voted for Jackson
and for every Dimocratic nominee
from that date on TO the present. L
is ny proudest boast, wich l wish in
scribed onto my tombstone when
hev gone hence-I never scratched :
tikkit. Ny war record is cleer. A
the breakin out NV the war, / oppo
sed everything the Government did
l did not stun the Massachusetts
soljers in Baltimore, becoz l Wuz no
there, but l slung up my hat Wher
l heerd Nv it, and wept bitter teeri
becoz l wuz not there. | did not vol
unteer On the contrary, when drafi
ted, made the best NV my way L
Canady to join Vallandygum, and on
ly failed to make my escape thro th'
treachery Nv Ablishnist who wormC
hisself into my confidence by hevin I
copy NV the Moo York Day Book ant
pint bottle Nv sod-corn whisky il
his hind coat pocket. thought, il
my innocence, that one so equipped
Good not be anything but troo Dim
ocrat, but l found, to my sorrow, tha
wolves often put on sleeps clothing
so perfeckly ez to deceive the yer,
elect. Arrested and taken to a cam
Nv Linkin hirelings, 1 wuz clothe,
in ojus bloc, musket Wuz fOrst in
to my unWillin hands, and l WI
transported southwark to dip m,
/ banHc in tho Ooor nv NV friandc III