The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1869-03-26

Bssohsr says nins-pin. !. sn sv.ngsIio


When a lover dotes on bis darling, 3
refusal acts as an anti7dole. m
Why are the elounds Ike the coach
menl Because they hold the reinA
How did Adam get out Of the garden
Of Edenl He was snaked out.
Why is a butchers cart ike bis boots !
Because he carries his calves there.
When does a farmer doubls up
sheep without hurting it When he
folds it
1.-THE ladies were cast adFift on the
sea, where would they dTift tol The
Isle Of Man.
Why does a sailor know there is q
man in the mOonl Becauss he has
been to see (sea).
A teacher who has recently lost an
eye, begs to intimste that he has now
a vacancy for q pupil
Young women should bsFars of
marrying an accountant II they do
they take an adder to their bosom.
4
Whether Winkiug is natural, depends
on circumstances, / E., whsthsF you
have a cindsr or 3 pretty girl in gOur
eye. -a
Why is a clock the most modest piece
Of furniturei Because It covers lts face
with its hands and runs down its own
works aNi ~
The differences between love aud law
is this: In love the attachment pre-
cedes the declaration in Law the declar-
alton preeedes the attachmsnk
"oF she goes" said lady speakine
Of the train as it was starting. ''Yo1
have mistaken the gender, madam"
said gentleman this is mail train
BacchanaE-'Fact is, Pvs been lead
in too rsg'lar life lately.' Reproach-
ful Frisnd-'Foo rsgularF Bacchaasl
-'Fact-a deal too reg'lar. Been on
a spree reg'lar every day.
Remember whom yeu are talking 70,
sir I said an indignant parent to q frao-
tious boy; 4 am your father, sirr-
'WeD, who's to blame for that ? said the
young impertinent faint me
A friend of ours says be thinks ibid ,
one of the eleVerest authors be ever
read. The most learned essays, the
most beautful passages Of poetry, and
the funniest jokes, ali seem to have been
written by him.
A writer in the Overland Monty saws
that when he was young, the common
way of spelling the word 'gizzard vas
'g-i-izzard, giz-izzard-a-r-d, zard-ziz-
zard.' Many of our readers may have
a similar recollection.
Bronson Alcott differs withaths St
Louis Councilman who blamed Eve for
bringing woe upon the world. He
thinks, on the contrary, that Rss was
to be praised for her courage in vsntur-
ing after knowledge and gaining sxpsr-
ience. -
Josh Billings with characteristic
nonsensieal common sense remarksth:
There is lots Of folks ii this world
who rather than not find any fault at
all, wouldn't hesitate to say to an angle
worm that his tail was altogether tsw
long for his body
The following are said to be among
the signs over the shops Of traders AZ
Fort Smith, Arkansas; 'Camphein
and burnin aeWd,' 'Ches Nuts billed and
Roar 'Csinsset cheers Reseted Hear
Washing, ironing, and goin out DUN
dais work dun here
The extensive authority Of parents
under the Chinese laws is well known.
A Chinese forty years old, whose aesd
mother hogged him every day, shed
tears 10 company with one Of his friends
why do you WeepP Alas things ara
not as they used to Be. The poor Wo.
mans arm grows fesbler every dayP
In Pennsylvania, India rubber shoes
are sometimes balled gums A gentle
man from Philadelphia, with his wife. q
was on a visit to New York, and, on =.
turning to the house. Of their host one
evening, the gentlemen entsSed the
1arlor alone, why where is EmiIvP
de answered, '0h, Emily is outside,
cleaning her gums upon the mat
A worthy deacon in a town some
where in North America, gave notice
It prayer netting, lately, Of church
Meeting that was to be held immediate
after, and uneonseiously added;-
There is no objection to the female
'rethern fensining!' This was equal
o a clergyman who told in his sermon
# very affecting scene, where there
vas not dry tear 10 the house
Some Of the deacons down East seem
o have bad practice of snoring loud-
7 while asleep in church, which an
ears to disturb some folks there. a.
isne papers recently had the following
ohte notice for one Of them: Deacon
- IS requested not to commence
noriug tomorrow until the sermon has
egun, as some persons in the neigh
orhood Of his pew would ike to hear
be textp
A father had two sons, one Of whom
AIMED Thomas, was an early riser. and
be was an incorrigible sluggard. Ona
forming the father entered the bed
pom of his slothful son, and holding
P money purse said, See what your
rOther has found by rising early ? The
alfopened eyes of the sluggard sur
eyed the purse, as he lazily dEsWled,
'ut the fellow that lost it must have
sen earlier than TomP
'Of course our children are moi ali of
! age; ono is twelve, another uine.and
lck, the 'nubbin, is Ave. A visitor
'ming in one day, questioned the chil.
'en in regard to their lessons. The
dest replied that she had to get gram
ar, arithmetic, geography, etc. The
eond got reading, spelling and de-
ntonS And what do You get nv
tie Union manP was asked Of Jaci.
DO was busy spearing the cat with 4
ooden sword, 'Oh, i gets readin',
elm and sPsnkin'; and / gets up in
e mornin' too
The following love letter was picked
in kokomo, Indiana: eOh, Nv
srest Maley / will tri 70 .r