The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-01-28
= aBoUT Lo5yE aND NARRIAeEs,.

ABOUT Love AND MARRIAGE.
Getting jined in the holy bonds of
wedlock, is, the :. hunkidori' ola gush-
ing maids spoony fellow, A fellow
sees a gal;;, she sees him they blow
their noses at each other-silent blows
of both 'em? both sigh like sick
crab; both ,heaye their -bosoms; then
they cast expressive glances into each
Others terrestrial orbs they get foggy
around their lips, and with tremor
pant il. is, gentle tremor, and there
will be moro of it anon time passes
just one, time, because the next day
the. lovely hourii gets on her best scol-
loped buttoned whaticoat, all enbroid
cred with white thing7a- -magigs, and
f'resceed with, a whole quart of gus
sets, puts some night-blooming lard
on her head, sticks q -Iollyhock in her
hair !clothes-line. Langing down her
back, saucezes, il, her waist, chalks the
back of her ears, rubs some red copal
varnish on, her cheeks TO make 'em
look like the gentle zephyrs had kissed
'em, .greases her swan-like neck, rubs
a little. charcoal tooth-powder on her
Sunday set of teeth, then looks IN the
mirror and bushes the color of a blind
lobster at; the, thought of how much
sweetness is being lost upon the desert
air. She twists around to see if the
back of her dress is all hooked up,
and then she takes her queenly form
to walk, and; looks so majestic, that
one would never dream that such an
angel would condescend, to eat pork
and beans, or had bunions.
The tfeller gets on his, new fixings,
has FIVE cents worth of blacking put
on, his boots, borrows a gold chain,
hires a ring with a green diamond in
it big, enough, to anchor a row-boat
takes a bath, cuts his nails, pares his
corns,, tickles his throat with whisky
Isonrs," asks his boss if, he might go to
the library, and looking as flushed as
a ,biled clam, and as Plus as figure
head OF a canal boat; !; he starts out, to
walk, and at the bewitchingi hour Of
4 20 p. m. the female and the male, in
all the glory of their, brotherhoods,
meet just where they met before. It's
intuition get 'em there--a kinder mys-
tic magnetism or spiritual heart
mumps. Their glancesg met somehow
between the two. He stops and looks
at nice pair, of pants in a window;
she, ,gazes, Iat Q corset shop. This. is
strategy: Neither wants the other to
know that each came there to, see the
other. The feller finally starts on his.
tonH again, and she, does the same.
They, pass each other as majestic as a
couple. of mud turtles both laugh; !;
and their eyes twist, away round over
their, shoulders :. both, turn and look at
each other until both get so far they
amt afraid, and then she draws her
billed rag across her lips, and he kisses
his ;knueAes at her. ,a5 -. ~.
Well, the sun sets in its orbit, and
day follows, day, aud they keep this
thing agoing until just as his boss be-
gins, to think he is getting too fond of
the library, they speak to each other,
and she commences to get him. She
gets him to call, and lets him smell the
sweet stuff on her chain. He thinks
it's her BREATH and that she's an angel
and feeds on tube roses. She calls
him dearlAlphonso, praises his marble
brow, and speaks of his Oriental eyes
and aGrecian nose. Heohas hole in
! one check big enough for skating
! pond; which she callsIa dimple. The
wartTonl his hand she calls a hillock of
loNeliness. Then she makesla muffier
of her arms, and puts it around his
neck, and Folls mp her eyes like sick
4 codfish.a :.iHe slings the gall around
heavy. He brings her billed Ghestnuts
and whole quarts of shrimps; goes to
matinees and the minstrels; takes
moonlight walks; sits on the steps !;
teaches her astronomy /; writes poetry /;
calls Ier his heavenly duck, his Ara
bian apeppcrgrass, his sweetness, his
bird1of Paradise: his Edenly gerani-
um-until, some night when shcpats
his hcadiand strokes his hair until she
gets his brain turned inside out, down
4 onthe Brussels carpet goes both knees,
his hands clasped together like he was
going to swim, and he casts his eyes
upward andsays: adi fil
"Will you have me?" slH
The triumphant damsel replies:
I"OhinAlphonso, how sudden, / de-
clare.'i eu.I .1ilag III 500 Is
YctEshe don't put her answer off,
I not "muchly" She's got him just
where she wants him. Give him time