davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
Josh Billings OH Biles.

Biles are the sorest things ov their
size on reckord, aud az kross tew the
touch az 4 setting hen, or dog with a
fresh bone. Biles alwas pick out the
handyest place on you're boldly to bid
their nest, aud if you undertake to brake
them up, it only makes them mad and
takes them longer to hatch out There
aint no sutch thing az coaxng, nor
driving them away. They are like an
impudcnt bed bug, they won't move, till
they hav got their fill.
Biles are az old az religion. Job, the
profit, was the fust champion ov bies,
and he is currently reported tew have
more biles, and more pashunce t. the
square inch, than emmy one, two very
rare things to be found in emmy man.
Biles are very sassy; sumtimes when
yer go to set down they will get between
yer and the chair that IL one evidence
of their i'll breeding, and | had one once
plant herself on the front end oy mi
noze, which haz most remarkable piece
ov bad manners, for there IL no room on
nj nose cnnywhare for bile, for when
it is ebb tide with my noze, it covers
half of my face. Biles nrc sed tew be
helthy, and | guess they am, for | hcv
seen sum helthy old bilcs, as big as n
hornets nest and as full ov stings. !
always want to be healthy-l am willing
tew pay the highest market price for d
good deal of helthy-but if had to have
bies OH me. awl the time, in order tc
be helthy, should think that was
bulliug the market.
There is one more smart thing about
bilcs; they are like twins they hardly
ever KUN singly, and | hav known them
throw double skies
What. twelve biies on one man at q
| time! This is wus than fighting humble
bees with your summer clothes OH.
Biles are sed, by the educated and
correct spoilers of the land, to be. e.ar
operashun of nachcr to get rid of sum
thing wich she wants to spare This i,
so, without doubt, but it don't strike me
as being very polite thing in macher to
shuv oph her bile onto-other folks.
say, let everybody take care Of their own
bilcs
There is time in their career when
tina konsentrate aul the pathos ov JOY
chat man has on hand to spare, and
that iz-when they bust ! This is the
calm after the storm the wedding day
of patience and joy; this IL the christcn.
ing Of hope, the mistck hen that lays
eggs day; this is butter on your
sassages
Exit bilcs.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
Blowing f6e whistle.

AAYankeo story heard by US some
two years, ago iu England, may not be
new to our readers, sinSe the texture"
seems to show the cis-Atlantic loom. In
our opinion, however, = is so good that
We are tempted to giyelit. ut the risk of
its being repetition
An Americans yeritable 'Down
Easter" and not to be mistaken for any
other stripe-was riding in an English
railway carriage, his sole companion be.
ing an Englishman, equally unmistaka-
bic as a typical ."Johu Bull" They
were strangers to one another, and had
Travelled some five miles or more without
a word passing between them.
THE whistle" was heard; interrupt
ing their unsociable meditations; when
the Yankee, whose curiosity could not
amy longer .hc kept ips restraint, asked
what it was for. s
"a" ya"neu tne DTltlSn.-
"Signal we are gawing to stop at sta
ton"
Jonathan cruned his neck out of the
window. but could see no signs of IL
station. He said to his travelling com.
panion.
81 don't see it."
"Of course you cawnt see it," was the
reply. cts more than five mile miles
from heaw. Our railways make such
speed, it is absolutely necessary to sound
the signal five miles off, to give the Gu
gineer time to stop off his steam, put on
the b%eak, and suspend the motion. /
pwesume you don't make such speed on
the other side of the Atwantic p
"Wall, stranger" somewhat tartly re-
Joined Jcnathan, seeing that his nation.
alty was discovered ''we make consid
cradle time t'othcr side too. We tried
the whistle, but it wouldn't do nohow.
i dccstnctly remember traveiin' OH IA
train atwecn Bosting and the Green
Alountings of Varmogi?on which was a
conductor who depended on his whistle
Wal, as we were streaking along. we
seed bout ten miles ahead team of oxen
and Il wagon with their driver whippin'
en- acrosst the rails Our conductor
,,,.l. 81 l..
put on the whistle; and that war the
last thing heard ceptin' all fired
smash, that knocked sound out of my
ears, and daylight out Of my eyes.
reckon | mus been dead for morc'n
five minute"
When | kim to my senses agin, !
seed the wagon lyin' cn the railway track
broke up into spokes, the oxen knocked
into squash. and the driver lyin dead on
the top of 'cm. Aud besides the hol of
the railway cars war off the track; the
passengers crushed and squirmin. aud
the conductor lynn close by the engine,
looking as if he had been drawn and
quartered. Jest at that minute the
whistle he'd ordered to be sounded bout
ten miles back came past; but it came
too late. Yes, stranger; we tried the
thing in thc States. 1t wouldn't do. 1t
want quick enough and we are now
using electric lights"
John Bull, who as matter of course
was provided with Times newspaper,
made no rejoindcr; but unfolding the
broad sheet and raising it so ns to hide
his ruddy face, remained absorbed in it's
contents during the rest of the journey.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
ATTEMPTED SuIorpE.-Aman named


ATTEMPTED SuIcIpE.-A man named
Price, from Greene county, Va, attempts
ed suicide at the Grcenbrier wL;se SUI
phur Springs, few days ago, by cutting
his throat with razor on the lawn. An
account in the Alexandria Gazette ssys
There were a number of persons in
full view, but the attention. Of Gov =
Wise was first attracted W. wikas she
Rsn was really attempting. .sGsn.sRsd..
Walker and others at once ran TO him
and snatched the razor from his hand.
His throat was very seriously lacerated,
but it is not thought that death viii re-
suit The unhappy man Aad brought
here for exhibisioa stoae wish the pfiut
of childs foot son it, found, time
ago in Madisopeoanty. q Butas few per-
sons had sufficient curiosity to see it to
pay for the privilege, the adventure was
unpro6table. The disappoiEtment, with
perhaps aakuown causes besides, led to
the desperate attemptyFaS = sa4s..zs.--==ss7,. a4sz 49,.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21

Two SHARP.-An entSrprising bust
ness man Of this city runs two branches
of trade, to-wit: grocery and a fish
market. The grocery he runs himself
the fish market by deputy, and every
night the latter makes returns of the
proceeds of the days business to the
proprietor.
A day or two since the grocer found
in his fish market returns counterfeit
five dollar bill. He didn't like to lose
it, and he didn't quite want to take the
chances of trying to pass it SO he call
ed an old darkey who was hanging about
the premises and said to him:
"Sam, here's five dollar bill that's a
little doubtful. If you will take it and
pass it, III give you dollar opt of the
change"
every we'll" said Sam, and he took
the bill and went off. Later in the day
he returned, having accomplished the
feat, and handed over four dollars in
good money to the grocer.
That night the grocer, in counting
over the cash returns from his market
was more surprised than delighted to
find the identical five in the pile.
''Look here" said he, sharply to his
market clerk, "here's counterfeit bill
who did you take it of? Didn't you
know twas bad 2"
Clerk took il and looked at it for a
moment.
"oh, yes" said he, 'Iremember now;
| took it of Sam, the darkey Thought
it was little doubtful, and wasn't going
10 take it, but he said he got it ts you,
SO thoughtit it was all right"
Further explauatioo was anuecessary
-Xariford Post,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
EXHIBITING CALvEs.-Now that tn,

EXHIBITING CALVEs.-.Now that the
strong minded women propose so serious
iy to wear trowsers or pantaloons, fashion
is issee&ing TO revive for mems wear, In
England, the ala style of .kneebreeches.
Not bad idea for well limbsdgehSlsmen,
but what are the spindle shanked TO do,
unless they take lessons in padding from
the ladies of the "nuds drama?" In that
case, calfdressing will not be confined
as an art, tothe veal butchers.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21

A young .girlS named Daily, about Is ,
years of age was raped in Benton County,
Indiana, several days ago and died from
the effects of her injuries, The man, {
whose name cur exchange Does not give,
subsequently isdiOidea, Bysaking poison, I
upon hearing of the death of the poor
siFl he had cruliy outraged,
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
Analysis OF the BiBle. s.4s = Z.


The following analysis of the Old and
New Testaments is takeae from an ex- is
changes sitswiHno doubt fbe ginteresting
to our readers SsEaptSsB - ssssesaa ssks
Books u7the Old Testament,ss.s ~, ...39ssi
Chapters, ...s..-..--..s....s,s.- i9Z9tass
Nerses..... ..,.,,.,r..... ..,........a.2 q. .zlA
words, y2: -: e. 39z, ,45S
Letters, =. 49,. 2,75S, 100
Books in the New Testament. ....s2 q ~
Chapters, .................. :. $50 X
Verses, .!..ss..s..g7 ,969sf
Words,,....,.........,-.r..-s.e .,-.r ..-s.e.sa ls1 1,253oy
Letters, .-........,..........:.... 838, $3.50
The, Apochrypha has 1873 chapters,
6OS1 verses, 15e, 1856 words. '''' f''z'a
Whole number of words ia the Bibie,s,I
3,71S,G55. ri o5iz7esr4a s,ti ssB4Bs $50
The middle chapter, and the least iapai
the Bible, is Psalm IL ss,ig,-,.y .5r
The middle verse is the 9th of Psalm
III. ''s-'
The word "ahd' occurs in the ODD
Testament 35:543 times sas1eFaiy lxsiGl
The same in the New Testament also.Is
occurs lo,643itines.fs rs boa ausz9 xa,
Tie word Jehovah occurs 6s55 Tires. (,
The middle book of the Old Testa-
mcnt is Proverbs.
The middle chapter is job 90. s''ss'
The middle verse is I'd Chronicles,
chapter 20, 18th verse. -di sa,Aea i,.y
The least verse is 1st Chronicles, chap
ter /, and ,1st verse, = - =
The middle book in the New Testa-
mcnt is ID Thessalonians .f'
The middle chapters are Romahsl3
and IA t ,s ~ as iaa
The middle verse is srAe,s II, 18th
verse. f-9rs
The least verse is John 8, 35th verse.
The 2lst verse, chapter /, of Ezra,
has all the letters of the alphabet. e@S's'
The 10Th chapter of I'd Kings, and
chapter 80 of Isaiah, are both alike. asgygs,
A YOUNG MAS TAXES A Two YEARs
Nap, AwAKENs, AND ASKS, rs BREAK
FAST READY?"-We are informed that
a young man living in the lower part Of Z
this County wns taken sick about two s.
years ago, and tell into deep sleep,
from which he only awoke about two =.
", ks since, The first expression he
luado use. of on coming to, was, "Is break
fast rcady?" just as though he had been
asleep but one night. physician had &
been attending OF. hin, ell the time, aaas
happened in just after. he awoke. On e..
walking up to the bed, he called the pa
tient by name, remarking that .'You
must f e. better, as your cheeks have
more color" to which he replied, by
asking, who are youf" On beiag a
informed that he was physician who .
had been attending him constantly for 3
two years, he could hardly believe his
senses During his sleep he was fed
regularly with spoon victuals as though
he was conscious. iFeis now up, enjoy
ing good health, and htisilyi engaged in,
trying to get the events of the last two
years posted up in his mind, that be may
unite them with the past and present
He has a distinct recollection of every
thing up to the time Of his going to
sleep. We have heard no explanation 6
of this case of Rip Van Winkleisa. .us,s
M'dis9" (lad9 Courier, 2sth s,le.
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21

PUT a HOLE THRorGH IT.-One
night Gen. - was out on the line
He observed light on the mountain
opposite. Thinking it was signal
light of the enemy, told his artillery Off
Ger that hole could easily be put
through it. Whereupon the officer,
turned to the corporal iu charge of the
gun, said:
Corporal, do you see that light ?"
eyes, sir :"
"Put hole through it"
The corporal sighted the gun, aod,
when all was ready, he looked up nd
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21

"Never mind what | said yesterday"
interrupted Susy, with some of her old
spirit breaking out. ."Just mind what
say to day. If | was fool once is that
any reasea / must.bc one always Z" But,
indeed, Charles" she added, more softly.
II have always meant to be your wife
the only scruple ! have is that l am not
good enough for you
1t is needless Is say how the discus
sion ended The reader has already di-
vined that G. continued his journey !;
and thus in the course of one cventful
day he risked life, saved life and
made an impromptu marriage, and set
out on moot unexpected wedding trip
The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-21
And ttus. when our hero reynined hi

! And thus, when our hero regained his
consciousness he found himself many
miles from home. OF course his first
anxious inquiry was for Susy, and when
informed that she was recovering, his
happiness seemed complete. He showed
his contentmeut by falling into deep
quiet sleep.
About sunset message came to him
that Miss B desired to sec him. He
found her lying on sofa in the captain s
istateroom, which had been given up to
her. She looked very pale, and some
what suffering, but she held out her
hand to him very gratefully, while the
tears stood in her eyes.
"Charles," said she, without Offering
word of thanks. 1 want to see clergy
man. Is there one on board 2"
81 will go and sec," said Charles,
moving to the door; but dreadful
thought striking him, he turned, cx-
claiming, "Susy, you do not think that
THAT am going to die ?" sal she,
anticipating him. "No, Charles but
want to see Il clergyman"
Charles went, and soon returned, ac-
compared by minister
al thank you, sir, for coming to me-"
said she to the latter as he eAtercd. 81
have strange request to make of you.
Would you object, sir, in the presence,
sud with the consent of my mother, to
unite me to that gentleman 2"
III the minister was astonshed at this
request, Charles was Infinitely more So
what did you say, Susy ?" said he.
did | hear aright?"
1 believe, So" said Susy, smiling at
his eager amazement. "Docs the scheme
meet your approval ?"
"lt was hcaveninspired," cried the
poor fellow, frantic with joy-but shade
coming over his radiant face, he added,
sravely, But, SuSy, have you consider
ed? Remember want your love, not
your gratitude. | will not be satisfied
with nothing less"
DO not be concerned about that, dear
Charles" replied Susy, gazing ut him
very tenderly through her tears .bc as
sured you have them both, and had the
first long, long before the last"
"But, Susy, you said only yesterday
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26
The Lecture.

The attendance at the Literary Associa-
ton on Friday evening last was slim; but
a more appreciative audience is seldom
seen, and all agreed that the lecture, by
Mr.. j. S. Bliss, was rare intellectual
treat. His subject was " The great Ro-
man Centenary or what I saw in Rome. y
Uniting high appreciation of the grand
and beautiful in art and nature, with vivid
descriptive powers, he gives lecture that
for interest and instruction is equalled by
few and excelled by none.
On Saturday evening, Mr.. Bliss gave
"The Neapolitans, Herculaneum, Pompeii
and Ascent of Mount Vesuvius," to a
large and attentive audience. It was a
fine production, a glowing description of
the great crater of the world, and was of
much interest.
Mr.. Bliss, is gentleman of good litera-
ry attainments, ready, pleasant, and
able writer, and genial, clever gentleman;
and though we may never have the pleas
ure of meeting him again, we shall yet
hope that the world will always use him
well.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26
Real Estate Sales.
REPORTED BY o. P. ASHLEY. REGISTER OF DrEp

REPORTED BY o. p ASHLEY, REGISTER DEEDS.
FEBRUARY 1st
Michael Mcmahon to Michael MCGOWAN, so acres
Sections 10 and % Town Range Clyde and Dodge
vile, $S0o. 80
John Quilleash to John Poad, Lot q Wasleys sur
Martin o'Dowd to VIM II Philips, SO acres p f 5
3 Mineral Point $1,000.
Joel Whitman to Jas Anderson, GO feet of east side
of Lot II Eddys Addition to Dodgeville, $50
Joel Whitman to- Thos Stephens, west part of Lot
IA Eddys Addition to Dodgevlie, PHO
FEB 9th.
John Leece to John Ii Mann, so acres s % and %
T7R2 Dodgeville and Highland, S22s
John ii Mann to Ed r Hunter, 40 acres % TT r
Thos Comfort to Isaac Comfort 20 acres le t 6
R Highland $780, Fra 1lth. -
VIM Smith to George Fasket, so acres 81 T R 8
also acres s is A R4, Waldwick, $3.50.
VIM Heathcock ct al to Patrick McManHs 80 acres
S13T5R 8 Mineral Point, 500.
JB Ireton to cyril W Wilson, 261 acres 10 IA e
and Is s Aroma, $780,; "a
Noah Harmony to Lewis Neitz, Lot in West Blue
Mounds $50. =
John W Edwards ct al toJohn DeBeos Lot in Are
ma, 924 square feet, sld6s ,..,.
Joseph Lean to Orville Strong Und y of s S
R 5, also Und. u of 8 I K 120 acres Ridgeway.
s575.
fWatkin Watkins to Samuel Grifiths, S.l3 6 r 8
10 acres Dodgeville, Sl00.-' r
Stephen Ferr to VIM Temlin, 9 I r 4 80 acres,
Waldwick, $780,
Joseph Elley to John Argall, part Lot 90 Wei is
survey Mineral Point S275S 'TN.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

sR Our columns this week contain
the advertisement of F. 7. S. Ansdell of
Arena, dealer in-well, now, we were going
to enumerate, but it is useless for he keeps
almost everything, and we don't know
but it would be less trouble to give list
of what be does not keep. We would just
say that notwithstanding he has large
store, well filed, there is probably not half
he keeps EXPOSED to view. For instance,
his large lot of readymade clothing is
kept up stairs. The best way will be to
call and ask for whatever you want /; he
keeps it.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

g1The Milwaukee papers report the
death Of the well-known brewer, G. T.
Melms, of that city, from the effects Of q
scratch ola pin or needle. He had resided
there twenty years, making beer which
was famous throughout the country. He
had drank his own beer, growing fat on it
and looking the very picture of health, but
the mere scratch of pin showed the con
dition of his apparently robust frame.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

be-" Old Veto" informs Congress and
the people by his objections to the Copper
Tariff bill, that although dying he is not
yet quite dead. His veto of this much
needed measure is not received with much
surprise. 1t is characteristic, being big,
long, bad piece of dogmatic stubborness.
The pill was passed by Congress by two
thirds vote, and it is probable they will
take no notice of Ola Veto's objections, bu;
will make the bill law by the same vote
that it was first passed.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

W The doines at the rooms of the
Literary Society on Wednesday evening
last were according to programme. The
President appointed a committee to hear
the arguments of the disputants, and de-
eide according to the arguments advanced,
consisting Of Mrs. Ranger, and Misses Mary
Kane and Emily Sims. The question was
well and ably discussed, the decision OF
the committee being given in the affirma
tive. The question for discussion next
Wednesday evening, is,
Resofred That the elective franchise should be ex-
tended to the women of the United States.
Affirmative-R G.. Owens, Mrs. NJ
Ranger, Miss A. E. Kane.
Negative E. 7. Wrigglesworth, G. w
Lewis, N. Whitman.
Select Reading-Miss Kate Cornelius.
Essay-W. L Abbott.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS
CTATE OF WISOONfN-IowA COUNTY

~ Circuit Court, Joseph Pearce, plaintiff, against
~ Henry Prideaux, ANA -Ppideaux, William Hen
ry Prideaux, Elizabeth Prdeaux. John Barte,
William Ryan, and James, ID Ryan. defendants.
To Henry EbrideauS Annr Prideunr, WiHioas Henry
Pridedur, Elizabeth p9it'cana J,hn j. Bartle Jril-
liam, Ryan, and Joues MRyam, defendants.
You are hereby summoned TO answer the COM
plaiih in this acion,a eo4yof which fled in the
off of the Clerk Of the circuit Court in and for the
said county, on the 23f day of February, 1869, and
to ser7c a copy Of your answer upon Reese Mulks,
attorneys for the plaintiff, at their Office in the VIII
aee of Dodgeve, in the, county of Iowa, and State
of Wisconsin, within twenty days after the service
hereof exclusive Of the day of service And if you
fail to do so the planting will apply to the Court for
the relief demanded in. the complaint
Dated, February %, 1860.
80. REESE & MULKS,
246l Plaintiffs .Attys, residence Dodgeville, Wis.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

wThe Western Monthly, for February
Chicago: Reed & Tuttle,) contains por-
trait, on steel, of Governor Fairchild, Of
this State, with well written biographical
sketch. The number contains variety OF
tales, essays and poems. The best thing
in the number is an essay, by Robert Col
yer, on "How and What to Read" The
Western Monthly is published at So year;
single numbers 25 cents.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

w There were two drunken women
on our streets on Tuesday last. If we
were permitted to give word of advice to
the Good Templars Of the village, it would
be to cease quarreling among themselves
over minor matters, adopt for their motto,
"Still there s WORK for US to do" and go
in and do it 1!
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

THE DoDGEvILLE CHRONICLE. We notice
that the name of W. l.. Abbott appears at
the head of the Dodgeville CHRONICLE, as
one of the editors of that paper. Mr.. Alb
bott was formerly compositor in this
office-is genial, whole souled fellow,
and is capable in any department of a
printing office. We wish him success
PORTAGE ReQister. 20th
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

10y W. c.. Meffert, harness maker, of
Arena, announces that he has good
stock and is prepared to do all kinds of
work in his line promptly and satisfactor-
ily. He is first class workman; give
him call.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

n1~ We are sorry to learn that son of
Mr.. Robert Roberts of Ridgeway, while
riding down hill on a hand sleigh, near
Ruggles school-house, the other day, go:
turned over, breaking his leg just above
the knee. Surgical aid was called, and he
is doing as well as could be expected.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

BINDING MACHINE.--We have been
shown model of binding machine, in
vented by H. Wright, and Peter Morris
of this place. Patent applied for. II
looks reasonable that it will prove practi
cal success. If so the inventors will have
a cool hundred thousand out of it. The
reader will hear from it again.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

n@- painfully religious old woman
being asked her opinion of the organ in a
church, the first time she had ever seen
or heard one, replied:
1t is a pretty box of whistles, but oh
it's an awful way to spend the Sabbath"
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26

Eys The Senior rained down on Tues
day last, looking well, as usual, and in ex-
cellent spirits. All the explanation we
have had of his mysterious excursion was
that he was from the South" We offer
this as an original prize puzzle. q
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-02-26
Rsy-One of the best sermons and stror

BsynOne of the best sermons and strong
est arguments in favor of a Christian life
and in support of the truths of the Bible
that we ever listened to was preached by
Nelson Whitman, on Sunday morning last,
at the NJ. E. Church in this village, from
the te xt, Faith is the substance of things
hoped for, the evidence Of things not SEEN