National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1869-07-30
Chips.

A lady told her servant to wake ;,
her next morning at six, as she had
something important to do at that
early hour. "Certainly, Madam;
won't fail. You have only to ring
the bell, and I'll be down in a min
ute"
A lady in Paris, impatient at
hearing nothing but French spoken
day ater day, exclaimed one morn
ing on hearing cock crow; "At
last there's somebody who speaks
English"
A dandy on shore is disgusting
to many people; but swell OF the
sea sickens everybody.
An expectant but disappointed
Office seeker does not like the pres
ent administration, which he calls
one of unfair waits and measures.
A doctor detained in court as a
witness complained to the Judge
that if he was kept from his patients
they might recover in his absence.
"Well, madam, how's your hus
band, to day ~ ''Why, doctor, he
is no better" 'Did you get the
lecches ?, eyes; but he only took
three of them raw had to fry the
rest"
Eve is said to be the only woman
who never threatened to go and live
with her mother, and Adam the
first man that ever went to house
keeping without first trying to
board with his mother-in law.
"rm afraid you don't like babies
when they cry" said a matron to
gentleman, as she tried to soothe
the darling in her arms. son, yes"
said he, 81 like them best when they
cry, because I've always observed
that then they are invariably car.
ried out of the ROOM"
A topper recently soliloquized :
"What waste o money to be buying
meat when you know the half OF it
is bone, while you can spend it fol
rum that hasn't bone in it,
The young man who asked thu
daughters hand and got the fathers
boot, had the consolation of know
ing that his wooir . was not boot
less.
During recitation on Natura
History, in one of our well know
colleges, q student in the pursuit o
knowledge concerning the habit q
animals, said "Professor, why doe
a cat, while eating, turn her hea
first one way and then the other
"For the reason,' replied the pre-
iessor, "that she cannot turn it bot
ways at once"
A wag at a hotel recently ordcrc
eleven beds for his own eXclusiN
use, because he had been elcve
nights without decent sleep, III
wanted to make up the loss.
Disgusting 'meanness-TO tan
dogs hide with his own bark.
What is a husbands Iromi
about giving up tobacco apt to cl
INF In smoke.
What did blind wOod-sawy
take to restore his sight! He too
his horse and saw.
Why should a wood-cuttcr new
he hungry Because he can
ways have chop by asking.
Humility gains often more til
pride.
A cockney, who went ont rabl
shooting, observing a donkey pc
ing over n hedge, Immediately Il
clled his piece, cXclaimlng: :"
Jovc! that must be the father
all rabbits"
If any man wants to be an
bachelor, and get sick at board
tavern, and have back room in
fourth story, and have n red-hai
chambcrmaid bring his Cruel
him in tin wash-basin, he has
apcriect right to do it.
lie that serves the public obi
nobody.
Tidyness is admired even by
negligent.
A handsome young bride was
served to be in reflection on
wcdding-day. One of her bii
maids asked her the subject of
meditations. 81 was thinking"
replied (which of my old be
should marry if / should bee
"a widow"
Windsor is the summer rcsid,
Of the cxAttorney General Of
United States, William NJ. Evi
In order to accommodate his i
family of thirteen children, am
which are two pairs Of twins,
Evarts occupies three large !
sions standing side by side on
prcttiest street In the village,
within large enclosure sh
with elms, naples and pines,
Ornamcntcd with every varict
shrubbery and oil the rare ild
known in this climate. Ia c0i
ton with his residence, he ow
small farm of inicrvale and hill
which he keeps under u high
Of cultivation, and which IN ste