Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-11-23
-Lat7ach for Hat77aO9istS.

Grant is accused OF smashing any quantity OF
toes at the Philadelphia wedding. He has got
foot like fddle-box.
A child in Macon county, KY, has been born
without tongue but sad to relate it is boy
But mistakes will happen.
Grant is passing sleepless nights over his
forthcoming message-probably studying over
who to get to write it for him.
An exchange thinks that Byron, who wrote
about the dark blue ocean, would not now
think much of 1.-THE Atlantic +"
At shooting match at Wells, Vt, an old
man whose eyesight was poor. killed boy
whom he took for a shanghai chicken.
An Iowa editor solemnly vows that he will
not support man for Representative ''who i.
a whisky barrel in the morning and barrel of
whisky at night" a1
Dubuque, Iowa, justices appear to appreciate
a man S position when he beats his wife nearly
to death. The fine is S., and cheap, consider
ing the exercise he gets.
Mrs Stanton says, "After a woman is mar
ried, nothing more is heard of her," 1t didn' t
work so in her case, but on the contrary, her
husband hasn't been heard from to any alarm
ing extent.
Twenty citizens Of Central City, Colorado,
have killed themselves with whisky, within a
few years, and the papers say others are ma
king arrangements to pass In their chips the
same way.
The editor Of the Greenwich IN. " Jour
nal has novel way of making the winter pass
off quickly. He gives bank note in the fall
for ninety days, and he says spring comes as
soon as he wants TO see it
Some editor audes in the following evident
ly sarcastic manner to paper priated at Aus
tin, Texas, and which. is not a beauty typo
graphically: 1T is printed with iodine plea
type, and is very easily read in the dark. They
charge fifty cents an acre for advertising, but a
man can't say but few words in that space,
owing to the size Of the type
Why will men be naughty and neglect the
sweets of domestic life for the bitter waters of
the tavern There was Tommy B, who,
the night after the eclipse returned to his dom
icile in condition Of pedal uncertainty that
was ridiculous. Pushing heavily against the
door, it opened, and Tommy fell sprawling
across the threshold His prolonged, but inef-
fectual efforts to regain an erect position arous-
ed his wife, in bed in the next room, who said,
Tommy, is that you? What's the matter p
10 which the inebriated Thomas made answer.
Yes its me; nothin's the matter, cept this
ere bees got too much honey on's wings to G.
g-git into the-the h-i-y-e!"
HOG KILLING. The following composition
by youth in attendance at school bears the
mark Of genius About this season Of the
year most OF the farmers appear to be busily
engaged in killing their hogs. The beasts,
which up to this time have been stuffed and
led upon everything that could put fat upon
their carcasses, are now driven forth and the
bloody butcherman rushing upon them with
his muTderous knife commits ''pigacide" re-
CARELESS Of the piercing shrieks which are
enough to move heart of stone In fact he
must be hardened man, for he appears to
spare neither age nor sex. After this most
foul, and sometimes the appearance of the
butcher makes me think unnatural murder. the
beast undergoes process which Indians and
other savages practice upon their captives, viz
that OF scalplng Or removing the hair, only the
modus operandi of the christianized savage is
more scientifically performed and carried to a
greater extent than that of the Indian, for the
latter very dexterously with knife only re-
moves the hair from the top of the head of his
captive, while the butcher man. commencino
at the head OF his victim, never stops until all
the animal, even to the lately smiling and curly
tail IS bereft of every golden bristle. Then
cutting him open he puts his bloody hand into
his yet warm body and draws out the sassen.
gers. saw one of these sassengers Yesterday
which measured 273 feet, and | could not helm
wondering how the pig from which it was ia
ken, and which was quite small ono. ever
managed to stow it away in his bread-basket
L at last concluded it must have had several
spare-ribs. The end +"