The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1869-07-22
Richard Grant White as "a
PhiTOEogiSt.

structor does not write his lessons in
good English.
His composition is muddy and tire
some,
Where he does not actually violate
the rules of Grammar, his sentences
are often SO awkwardly constructed
that they CRATE harshly upon the ear Of
the scholar
His conclusions are often illogical,
and not unfrequeatly absurd
BE is inconsistent, not only with our
best writer's, but with himself, one Of
the worst
His insuferable vanity is apparent in
every paragraph from his pen
To Judge Mr.. White by his writings,
should say that vanity is the ruling
trait in his character. The next prom
inent peculiarity Of his mind which
forces itself upon the notice Of his read
ers is certainly amusing, viz bis utter
skepticism regarding all pathological
knowledge not contained in the head
that wears bis night cap. His articles.
therefore, contain frequent illusions to
the ignorance which rests like pail
upon the great mass of the people. One
phrase of his will express his opinion
on this subject. 1t is this;
"Those, unfortunately, ve,y teV in
most parts of this country who are at
all acquainted with the history and
structure of the language, &c (lmlics
mins)
But Mr.. White is not alone in the
exhibition ofhis amusing phase Of ego
tism Why, at the hotel where | am
living, there arrives, at irregular inter-
walls during the year, very spotted
dog, with very pointed ears aud very
crooked legs He is accompanied by
clustering young man with red face,
an abbreviated coat and the most ex-
traordinary legs you ever saw. This
last shakes hands cordially with the
clerk, and, after a whispered confer
ence between the two, the biped and
the quadruped are assigned "the best
room in the house" They are the
agents for the "Great Eureka Combi-
nation Band of Ethiopian Minstrels. -"
After the lapse of few days an om-
nibus backs up to the public entrance
and deposits a dozen and halfor 30 Of
young men, dressed in New York bust
ness suits. A corresponding number
of uncovered trunks are tumbled
down upon the sidewalk, and the great
troupe has arrived-the trunks con-
tanning the costumes, and the New
York clothes containing the artists com.
prising the same This collection of
muscular and musical talent is worth
looking at. Their little round heads
and shiney noses-showing daily
struggle between soap and burnt cork
their vest chains, their marvellous era
watts, and the air of supreme satisfact on
which rests upon them like a benedic-
ton, all combined, make them more
inexpressibly funny when off the stage
than when responding to their third en-
core. These self-complacent mortals
are entitled to, and probably receive, as
much of the contempt of sensible peo-
pie as is due to those whose success de-
pends upon their power of making
themselves ridiculous And this con
tempt they repay with interest. They
look with disdain upon all professions
or callings differing from theirs They
regard all knowledge not having a di-
rect bearing upon their business as so
much ignorance. Viewed from their
standpoint, the great mass of the peo.
Pile are as ignorant as they appear to
Mr.. White when he scornfully scans
them from his pathological eminence.
And why not, pray7 Have not these
"artists" in cork the same right 20 as
sumo all the knowledge, to be bigoted
and supercilious, as has the philologi-
cal quack who spreads desolation amid
our nouns and adverbsl Shall we con-
denim those traits in a fellow creature
who thinks it the correct thing to sing
q sentimental song in full dress and
blackened face, and excuse them in one
who prides himself upon the eleganoes
and proprieties of both life and Ian
guagef Shall we insist on more re-
spectful treatment from troupe of ne
gro minstres than we are daily receiv-
ing from Mr.. White1 can excuse the
counterfeit negro, but have not the
same patience with the counterfeit
schoolmaster. Let us measure his
knowledge by the same rule which he
applies to others We will take him
before Mr.. Bones, the "great end man"
of the minstrels, and have him exam
ined. Saith Mr. Bones:
"What do you understand by gag,
Mr.. Whitel"
"A gag, you sayP
'T-say--a-gag"
"Well, sir gag is piece OF wood,
or other hard substance, forced into the
mouth to prevent one from talking 1t
is of Saxon origin, derived from the
Greek root"
"Hal Enough! Greek granny,
Well, Mr. White, in going off the stage
after the first encore, how many times
should one turn to the audience and
smilingly bowf"
tI confess that do not know"
"Ah! do not know Well, Mr.
White, what is your opinion Of the toe
businessl"
"Did you say the Toe busness''
aThe--toe--business--i what | said