The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-06-15
FHE SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY,
Tuesday, Junc I5, 1869.
Josh niilings Papers.


The cote Il lloarse woolen sheep.
They hav Il split hool and a whole
tail. s
They hay a good appetite and San,
gnine digestion.
They swallo what they eat, aud will
eat eauythins they kan bite. /
Their moral karakters are not polished :;
they had rather steal Il rotten turnip ont
ov a garpage box, than tew cum homes
tly by a pek ov oats.
The male cote haz two horns on the
ridge of hiz he'd, and mustash on hiz
bottom lip, and iz the ugly ov hiz naber
hood
A maskuline cote will fite ennythine
from an elephant down to hiz shadder on
AIDED wall.
They strike from the but end, insted
ovthe shoulder, and are az likely tew hit,
az hammer liz a nailhed.
They are a hi seasoned animal, az
much so az a pound oy assifdity.
They are faithful kritters, and will
stick to a friend az long az he lives in
ashanty 'st ss<
They kan Kline emmy ything but greast
pole, and kno the way up rock as ma
tural as q woodbine.
They arc az certain tn raise yung ones,
sum familys are half gotes. and the other
haff children. They are good eating
when the are yung, but they leave it oph
asthey get stronger.
They are alwus poor in the boldly but
phatt in the stumick. what they eat seems
to all 60 to appetight. Yu mite as well
agree to phatt an injunrubber over shoe
bifilling it with klam shells, az tew raizc
emmy adipoze membrance on the outside
bust ov a gote.. ss
A phatt cote would be literary cur
iosity.
They use the same dialekt az the sheep
and the yung ones speak the language
more fluently than the paricnts do.
Thare iz'only two animals ov the earth
that will eat tobakco-one IL man and
luther IL cote, but the cote understands
it the most, for he swallers the spit, chew
and all
The male cote, when he il pensiv, IL
venerable and philosophic looking old
cuss, and wouldn't make a bad professor
NV varithmetick in sum ov our collages.
They are handy al livinga long time,
reaching an advanced age without ar
irving a enney defnit konkluslon.
How long cote lives without giving
it.up, there liz no man now old enuf tew
tell.
Methuzeler, ifhiz memory waz bad at
forgetting, mite give a goodssized guess,
but unfortunately for science and essa,
Methuzeler amt here
..Gotes will lv in emmy klimate, and on
emmy vittles, except tanbark, and if
they ever cum to square death, it il q
profound sekret, in the hands of a few,
to this day.
wouldn't like tew beleave enney man
under oath who had ever seen masku
line cote acktually die, and stay so.
Speaking ov Methuzeler, put me in
mind ov the fackt, if man should liv
now daze, as mulch az he did, and only
hev one eye tew see things with, he would
hav to hav an addishun bilt into the
back of hiz head tew sto away things
into.
The female cote is either the mother
or the sister, or cuzzin ov prevailing cir
cumstansis in the case, or else lobor un-
der delusion, forget witch.
They Civ milk intuittivly about quart
before it il watervd. in twelve hours,
which iz subjickt ov naurishment in var
ious ways
This milk, which IL cxtrakted from the
female cote, IL excellent tew finished up
yung ones on, but is apt to make them
bellycose and ightfull.
1t IL not uncommon for babe, while
inhaiIing this pugnashus fluid, to let opt
his left colleckshun or digit and ketch
the nurse on epinnakle ov the smellel
and to it for claret.
This il uncommon fakt among Irish
babes, and explains the reason whi, il
after life,l these same babes make suct
brilliant hits.
In writing the history ov the male an
female cote to adorn the pages ov futul
times, / fatter myself that hav stucd t.
the truth, and haven't allowed mi imagin
ashun tew boss the job.
A CRATE menney oy our best bilt his
torians are apt tew mistake opinyuns fol
facts, this IL an eazy mistake to make, bu
when stricke goose, or bed-bugg, o
cote, yuo notis one thing, stay witt
them.-Finis. - .