Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1869-03-06
THE OLD MAID.

|
the Social Situation of che Old
MAtd.
Some one who avows herself an
old maid takes very cheerful and
satisfactory views of her social sit
uation in the Troy Times Her
views will be Of interest to many:
1t always astonishes me when l
take a realizing sense of the fact
that l am an old maid Why,
you'll scarcely believe it when |
confess that | once had lovers by
the legion, and offers were as nu-
merous as fiirtations are now a
days. l was always in love. |
don't remember the time when |
had not some Willie or Frank to
dream about, and write love letters
to, and as | dOnned my long dress
es, some handsome Charles Angus
tus was sure TO keep my thoughts
employed until another of greater
fascination superseded him. You
need not imagine / regret them
now. No, indeed! My life is a
pleasant one. No one annoys me.
No husband flirts with other mems
wives or young girls, breaking my
heart No husband calls me my
love" in company, and Geld brute"
at home He does not growl at mill
liners bills, or extravagant ward
robes. He never sits looking
at me, wishing l were as handsome
as Mrs. B or Miss J. He
does not wish my eyes were as di
vinely blue and my hair SO charm
ingly golden as Katie's, over the
way. He never casts sly glances
at pretty girls, throwing them kiss
es when my back is turned. He
doesn't marvel how he ever came to |
marry me, when there were so
many handsome women in the |
world. If [ am i'll, he is not won
dering how weeds would become |
him, and if he should be obliged to |
have an expensive funeral. He isn't |
thinking what a jolly widower he'd |
make, and how eager pretty jennie |
F. would be to marry him, or
how gladly Flora ] would lift
up her bewitching brown eyes and
promise to be his. He does not
complacently fondIe his elegant
moustache before the mirror, and |
think how every one must pity him,
and regret, (girls especially that
50 handsome man should be bound |
to so plain looking a woman. He
isn't watching me continually to
see if | fulfill all my duties as a
wife TO criticise my every move
ment, to be annoyed at the weak
ness of the tea, the toughness of the
steak, or the lateness of the break
fast Thank the gods-no l am
a free woman, [ do as | please, go
where | please, [ think, breathe,
sneeze, wink, cough, sleep and eat
as | please. Old Mother Hubbard
had her dog, Dame Crump had her
pig, but | have my cat! An intel
Iectual animal, too, one that has
more natural intelligence than
many children. Tabby and L enjoy
ourselves in a rational manner.
She never speaks a cross word;
neither do L. Together we sit and
think hours at time, by the open
CRATE, and draw great morals from
| the fire within. Tabby has quiet
temperament, and we never quar-
| rel. | often hear people eXclaim
that old maids are always gosslps.
Not SO. | don't care if Mary Jane
has stolen another girls beau.
never feel Interested in the cost OF
Susans new bonnet, or Jennie's
silk dresses. / do not wonder that
Mrs. c. should be extravagant,
or Miss - should firt 80 much.
What do care? Tabby and
occasionally remark upon the folly
and stupidity of certain persons,
but we do not mention it out OF our
family My cat is not communiea-
tive; neither am /.
| Yesterday | met one of my old
lovers. Once he praised my eyes,
my lips, the beauty Of my hair, the
freshness Of my manners. He pro
fessed to love NE, but he met
prettier girl and gayer young
man, and so we parted. He IS
married now, has cross, faded wife,
and seven children. He looks old
and weary. | felt .sory for him,
but | smiled at my folly in ever
wasting one thought upon him.
Would l give up my jolly life Of an
{ old maid? Never My hair is grow
ing gray, but l don't use "HalPs
Hair Restorative. My face has
some wrinkles in it, but l don't use
"Laird's Bloom Of Youth My
: fingers are not white, and soft and
dimpled, but | do not battle them
with ''cold cream" and wear old
kids. | don't tear out my hair with
p crimpers. l never wear long trails
that sweep the ground for half a
1 mile. l do not wear humps on my
) back and double up with the
V fashionable "Grecian bend
J, don't have to wear eye glasses and
/ pretend / am near-sighted. L am
d not obliged to wear a butterfly :
n wing on my head in February
freezing my ears till they are
# purple. l don't have to &C
l. shivering in low-necked dresses,
l. nor howl opera music till my
a throat is sore, nor study attitudes
l. before my mirror, nor twist my
Ie tongue in endeavoring to learI
d German, nor fall in love with m.
er dancing master. am not unde
a the painful necessity Of squeezin!
lie my hands in No. six gloves whel
9r seven is my number, nor do
N pinch my feet in little shoes unit
lc existence seems a burden, | d
n, not have to sing Italian ditties In
* Ianguishlng manner to some sent
mental youth in tight pants and
,Uavad rnustache. am far NOR