Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1869-09-17
AN EVENING WITH THE I8TROR-
TALS.
BY JOHN QUILL.


l Mrs. TWeeZer believes in spirits. Be
fore old Tweezer died she was q second
1 advent woman, end used to rig herself
out in Let of pillow cases with arm
| holes in them, which she called tsascen-
| sion rObes," and concerning which
/ Tweezer used to remark, that if an old
1 heifer like her ever did get into the
world with those duds on she would be
sent back to the earth to dress herself
| decently.
But Mrs. Tweezers never went up;
/ probably because she weighed abOuT
three-h1udred pounds, and never could
] entirely overcome the attraction of
/ grayitation.
But Tweezer died, it was said, of a
rush of Mrs. Tweezer and a poker to
the head, and as she Immediately after
ward turned spiritualist, it was thought
that Tweezer's departed spirit must
have come back to torment her, IN or
der to wipe out some old scores she had
run up in her life-Iime.
So Mrs. TWeezer Joined a circle, con-
| long, lanky medium, who was shaped
| like clothes-pin, and whose mouth
was so large that when he yawned the
] top of his head fell over like opening
The lid of mustard pot.
One evening, after a frugal snpper of
cold liver, and tea thattasted as if cop
per cents had been boiled in it, Mrs.
Tweezsr invited me to join in the
circle. I did So The medium
was the head centre and he sat
in the middle, with the company
around him, and Mrs. Tweezsr next to
him, crowding him in such a tender
style that the departed spirit of old
Tweezer would have got up and howl
ed if ne had cared a cent for her, which
he didn't.
There were three or four other board
ers present, and the medium, afterroll-
ing his eyes around, as if he was in the
last agonieS of sLrangulation, and OPEN
ing his mouth until It looked like the
DelaWare Water Gap, observed that the
spirits informed him there were uu-
believers present, and that it was desir-
able to convert them.
Mr. Smith the funny young man of
our boarding house, stated that he
not only thought it was all bosh, but
he don't believe the spirits could con-
vert him CENTS worth. No sooner had
he uttered these words than Mrs, TWee-
zer got to jumping around as If she was
hung on string, and somebody was
pulling it, and the first thing 1 knew
she fell against the funny boarder,
Smith, flung her arms around his neck
and liked to have mashed him as fiat
as sheet Of boiler iron. The medium
stated that she was under the spiritual
influence, and that an invisiblB pres
ence had compelled her to behave so.
M 0ul4lu BdlQ nc DEAlbNGA IL WOuAu
be judicious to dispense with the SER
vices of said invisible presence for the
balance of the evening, or there would
be man about the size of the medium
hurt.
The medium then said that if Mr.,
Smith was still skeptical the spirit ex-
pressed an anxiety to pick up the arm
chair and slash him over the nose.
But Mr.. Smith said he believed not
this evening; and the spirit had better
ILL Nm1 sr rsNT
He thought the room must be uncom-
fortly cool for an immortal being who
was evidently accustomed to live in a
fiery furnace.
Three raps on the mantle -peice, and
the medium remarked that an impoE-
tant spirit wished 10 speak.
It stated that it gave last warning
10 old Miss Ferguson thatshs must stop
taking brandy in her water or she
would die of spontaneous combustion.
'tIt's not so. 1 never touch 1T" said
the venerable Ferguson, so red that it
actually made her hnely-coIOred nose
look white.
"Yes it is, though, and I'd advise you
not to go around listening to Mrs. Bar
ry's key-hoIe again as you did last
ght, for she's laying for you with
pitcher of water to souse on you over
the door,"
'fWhat an awful story; there's not a
word of truth in it, - said this huffy old
SIT is true, said the spirit. 4 am
George Washington. cannot tell a
lie."
As the spirit seemed inclined to be
sociabIe Thought I would converse With
him.
.WelI, George, OLD boy, how are
things?n
What do you think Of the crowd here
1
Ion, It's all we'll enough excepting
that think It would be judicious for
| young Tompkins to stop squeezing Miss
| NilI's waist under the preLext that he
is trying to keep hershawl on"
Sudden movements on the part of Mr..
| TOmpkins; who said:
| "Look here: 1 think we had better
put out the lights. The spirits work
| easier in the dark"
Another rap. Spirit wanted to COM
/ municate with me.
''Who are yOu9" asked.
''I'm the spirit of your aunt"
"But never had an aunt"
E'Yes you had! don't you recOllect
/ your dear Aunt Amanda?"
'No, I don't recollect my dear Aunt
Amanda, 1 never had one, tell you %
sit don't make any difference, then.
Pm the spirit of John Brown"
"But thought that was marching
on?'
]
f-gsttWell, how are you, JOhn!'
''Ohi tOleraole. Could you give the
medium drink of that fine old brandy
of yours, this EVENING""
! Il should think not"
This was the last heard Of this re-
! dunn appeared disappointed that he
| had gone away. It may have been
the brandy, though.
4 Then the medium stated that an inn
percepuble tssense desired to converse
with Mr.. Smith.
'HoW is the imperceptible essence on
throwing chairs2" inquired Smith. s
81 will not hurt you. I am your
guardian angel" said the spirit.
Is that so?" said Smith. 'WeIl,
why didn't you hover around sooner ?'i
81 don't hover. | pervade space, y
said the spirit.
"Anything the matter with your
wings? Moulted any of your feathersI
Order you a new pair shall I ?" asked
Smith.
ply TO watch over you"
Where was I last night?" asked
young Smith.
CAT church"
= "Right. You needn't tell where ]
and easy" whispered Smith to me-
edo you know old TWeezeF in tht
spirit World2" inquired Mr.. Smith.
Eyes, he is there now"
sis he happy? And if so, what is h,
doing?"
''He is in ecstacy, because he know
Tompkins is going off without payinI
his board. Heis now engaged in shak
ing his spiritual fist at Mrs. Tweezer.
''That's hin1!' said Mrs. Tweezer-
"that's himl Always the same oil
fooli But where is that Tomkins? III
blister him-I will!n
And Mrs. TweezeF pranced down int
the entry, to lock the front door ant
lay in wait for TOmpkins.
lyon are my guardian angel, ar
' your" said Smith. "Do you care
great deal for me?"
ga great DEAL"
''Well, then Just lend me seventy-fiY
cents, will your"
'iThe spirit has departed in anger,
observed the medium.
"Nice old guardian angel that" sRiC
Smith; "very careful of his stamps 70
a first class beneficent spirit. Any NOR
iunFarnRVff hIn neaaraRoa a nd FErnffful