The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-03-05
aItif anS Dutttur .

uub VIC uurhesV clOuu mas u silver 11nlnR.' y
-
Ntit ana Dautur.
- a man of mark-the sign paint
er.
- The nan ofletter-the type-set-
ter.
- Light reading-a motto in fire.
works.
- What did the potter say to the
clay? Beware.
- Cork Screws-fellows who spare
their wine.
- The opposite of the seeds of dis
content-Caraway seeds.
- If Turkey is not speedily cook
ed we will have no Greece.
q. - Variety is the spice of life. SO
OF newspaper. But neither shall be
all-spice. e.,
- Why is the Grecian bend like
cigarP Because it is manufactured to-
back her.
- The hoop question has two sides
women take the in and men the out
side.
- The young lady who was lost in
thOught-has been found. She was
'hugging al idea and it looked like
man.
- On recent rainy day wag
was heard to exclaim /; swell, my um-
brella is a regular Catholic ?" "Be-
cause 1t always keeps lent"
-"Amen," said devout but illit-
NrNtn hrOthnr Xphan tha chi
"Before another week some OF us may
be laid in the tomb.
- "Doctor, whenever lean my
head Oh my arm In this way. it pains
me terribly. What shall do ?" "Stop
leaning your head in that way"
"A Southern editor about whom
many rumors are IN circulation. says
"Thank fortune, half the lies that are
told about me, amt true J"
= 1t was not Mrs. Partington who
thought "Ed," must be great news
paper boy, because his name was at
tachedto many paragraphs in the pa
pers.
=. The editor of the Eutaw Wing,
having offered a copy OF his paper one
year for a good yard dog, has been Of
tered an eighteen inch dog for a six
months subscription.
- An old lady being at loss for
pincuShion, made one of an onion. On
the following morning she found that |
all of hea needles had tears in their |
eyes.
Some people say they she'll peas |
w1eh they unshell them, that they husk |
corn when they iinhusk it, that they |
dust furniture when they undust or
take the dust from it; that they scale
fish when they unscale them.
- People who expect to go to hea-
ven!oy dropping quarter of a dollar
IL the contribution box on Sunday and
shave half a dozen devils out Of ten
times that amount on Monday to make
up for it, are as likely to get a seat i'm
Paradise as street ear is to beat Gen.
Tom Thumb in trot.
- An Irishman was directed bv n
lady OF large size to secure and pay for
two seats i'll stage coach. as she want
ed comfortable room in riding. The
fellow returned and said, 81 have pald
for the two seats you told me to but
az | could not get but one for the in
side OF the coach | took 'tother for the
outside"
- We heard the other day good
one on John Cheek, our former squire.
who always had his eyes cooked both
ways for justice and per haps for Sun
day. 10 seems he had fined an Irish
man, who having used a little too much
OF the craythur, was foolish enough to
let the crayther use INN. Pat, OH lea
wing the office met friend to whom he
held forth
''Be jabbers and was fined Martin {!
sand, and who fined you ?" Kilt
"That's tellin jst." "Twas a man
In there, who is aither Justice of the
peace or piece of iustice-and don't
know which, and he's left handed in
both eyes y & ~ a y
. - Enter jury with verdict, awe
lind the prisoner, ian Irshman) guilty
81 murder in the first degree, and would
recommend him to the clemcncy of the
sourt."
The Judge after pronouncing the
Heath sentence, addressed Pat as fol-
ows
"You have heard your sentence, but :
icing an old man. the court grantsyou
he privilege. of choosing your man q
Ter of DEATH" :
Faith, and you can't be in earnest q
laid Pat.
"By my honor as judge was the :
eply. ~ :
"Och," said Pat, and then I'll be at a
or dying by good old age in my bed" +;
- The Cincinatti Commercial has L
he following anecdote s.
A little fellow presented himself at "
eadquarters one day and solicited a =
commission.
"Have you seen selvice?" sternly de-
landed Mr.. Senator Henry Wilson,
Massachusetts who happened to be
resent.
"Yes, Colonel, l WAS in the three g.
lonths service"
"Were you at the battle of Bull Runy' n
al was Colonel II
Now Henry has deiicate-very de-
cate vein of humor in him. 1t is not
Efficient consistency to carry laugh,
1T Henry enjoys it. So, winking to
Ie Staff, Henry asked: 1
sand did you run we'll ?''
az used due diligence Colonel
d the best could, but | could not e
,ep up with you in that hack ~ ~
There was great laugh. and Henry, 81
ughed too for he thout the merriment BIO
rs caused by his exquisite humor.- We
nd so 1t was. ST,
| uyI