The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-10-30
Agents for the Register.
Mark Twain's Brevities.
FFrom The Buffalo Express.l

[Frona The Buffalo Express.l
Brigham Youpg's mother-in- law is
dead. Paris fashions are now Worthless,
for Worth is dead.
George Francis Train has been stricken
deaf and dumb.
The Boston Post cruelty calls Elizabeth
Cady Stanton pantaloonatic.
QueenIsabella is buying estates all over
Europe wonder Spain is poor.
Vanderbilt has dined Jem Mace and
Morissey. Why this brutal neglect Of
Reddy, the blacksmith?
Australia, which has felt sour since
Prince Alfred's visit, talks of sweetening
herself by sugar culture.
Mrs. Myra Cradwell, of Chicago, has
been admitted to the bar with her hus-
band-the mosquito bar, probaly.
Caleb Cushing's fec in the Mexican
CLAIMS Commission is starting around
again. 1t has already had one good run,
Caleb Cushing's fee in the Mexican
Claims Commission case is $4,000, 900 IN
gold. Let it go at that while.
A good thing is done. now, in writing
autograph letters of Humboldt. They
bring fifty dollars apiece in the market.
Eugenie's gloves cost $500 year.
This item may be depended upon. 1t is
made up by man who cannot be beat az
guessing.
There is man in Ohio who has written
three thousand communications to the
newspapers, not one of which has ever
been published.
There are fellows in France who claim
that Mr.. Rossini was their father and
that Mrs. Rossini is not their mother.
They bother the old lady.
A false wife in the Sandwich Islands
was lately condemned to have her ears cut
off, If that is the law there, how many
wives are sure of their ears i?
Adelina Patti says she will not sing in
New York any more. However, she will
find that New York will have her Sing
Sing anyhow. The author Of the above
is no more.
The editor of the Louisville Courier
Journal informs his readers that "Twenty-
one hundred and ninety-one years ago to-
day (Thursday), our distinguished friend
Demosthenes died by poison
The champion eroquetist in England
lately got through thirteen hoops without
a break. If it was out on the croquet
ground, she did well; hut if it was in her
dressing-room it was nothing extraordi-
nary. s@st' =
George Peabody has just given an adj
ditional 10000 to the Peabody Insti-
tute, of Baltimore Is it not about time
he was figuring up to see what he has got
left? The FIRST thing he knows. he will
have to be borrowing money to get home
On. -
The climate of Tennessee must possess
remarkable sanitary qualities. Thus the
West Tennessee Wing of last week says:
"a negro man who was split open with
an ak at Trenton a few weeks since is re-
covering, though slightly paralyzed on
one side"
Johnny McGrade, the "celebrated pu-
eilist' (whom few people have ever heard
of perhaps) was shot dead in saloon in
White Pine, September 18th, by youth
named Leonard, whom he had beaten with
a slung shot. Will Leonard please come
East?
Anna Dickinson certainly has an abun-
dance of pluck. After showing up Brig
ham Young's bagnio in her most pungent
and pitiless style before an audience Of fif.
teen hundred in San Francisco, she is now
on her way to Salt Lake City to lecture.
The woman that marries Miss Anna will
have capable protector.
Miss Anna Dickinson says that a ma.
jority of the first female emigrants to Gal.
ifornia were of that class which come
under the head s:no better than they
ought to be-" Ned Buntline says 1seven
eighths. of California's population gel
druhk;p George Francis says California is
bankrupt and utterly played out The
evidence being all in, the jury will now
sit on the corpse and hatch the verdict
The Utah Daily Reporter, aluding te
the Byron scandal, says that in Utah ap
ostles, presidents, bishops, elders, priests
and teachers, without shame or secrecy
practice worse crimes than Mrs. Stowe ac
cuses Byron of. High officials marry
nieces- their own brothers daughters ant
even two efthem at once-marry half sis
ters, mothers, and daughters at the sam,
time. and even sisters of whole blood