Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1869-01-21


ness" Recently, the steamer Sam Pentz was
returning to Baltimore from the eastern shore
Of Maryland, with a number Of colored people
who had been attending a camP-meeting, and
on board, a prayer and experience meeting was
held, during which an old negro woman got
happy and exclaimed: Whew bless God
would sooner be a deck hand on de ark OF
dc Lord. dan fuss cLambermaid Of the Sam
Pentz'
Az ESvrED KIss.-Judge Porter, amembeI
Of the Alabama Legislature from Tuscaloosa
saw two young ladies meet and kiss each Other
Mt the Exchange, which affected him to thi.
extent -
You may talk Of your gems hid in fa'homlcs'
ocean,
OrHowers whose sweetness is wasted on air;
None of these ever filed me with half the emotion
AS seeing that kiss no the foot OF the stair.
Love never designed that on lips OF the ialr,
Where nature has llyished her riches so free,
A Kiss should be lost. lfvou've any 20 spare,
For charity's sake-O, divide them with ma
r. Anoldlady wasaskel whatsho thought Of one
Of her neishbors Of the name Of Jones, and with
knowing wink replied, " Why, I don't like to
say anything about my neishbOrs; but as TO
MrlJones, sometimes 1 think, and then again,
Idon't know after an, l ratherguesshellturn
QUITO be a good deal such a sort Of man I take
him to be-"
An Irish waiter once complimeuteda salmon
in the following manner:
"Faitb. its not two hours since that salmon
was walking round his raal estate with his
hands in bis pockets. never draining what a
pretty invitasbun he'd have to jine you jintle-
men at dinner"
"Ahw said Sersphina, speaking on some
subject in which her feelings were enlisted,
chow gladly I would embrace an OPPOrtuni-
ty-"
Would I were an opportunity " inter
rupted her bashful lover
A man stopped ono Of our reporters the
other day and asked him what he considered
"the height Of provocation.' OF course he
"didn't know" Wei, sir" said he, ain
my Judgment it is waking newly married
couple at four o'clock in the morning to inquire
If they want to buy some potatoes.
An Old widow lady in Massachusetts whose
husband has been dead for 90 years or more,
declined 20 illuminate her house in honor Of
Grants election. on the evening Of November
81. because she couldn't remember which side
Of politics poor, dear Jake was on.
A traucendental preacher took for his text,
Feed my lambs" A plain farmer very
quantity remarked to him on coming ont Of
church: A very good text, sir; but You
should take care not to put the hay so high in
the rack that the lambs can't reach it,
The other day a policeman took In charge a
lost child, and proceeded 20 hunt up its parents.
On being asked by ahdywhat the matter was,
he replied, Here's an orphan child, ma'am,
and I'm trying to find its parents"
A gent ont West was invited to take a game
Of poker. but he refused saying ]
tbaukee, played poker all one summer and
had to wear uankeen pants an next winter:
have had no taste for that amusement since.
LORD Bacon beautifully said: If a man
be gracious to strangers, it shows he is citi-
zen Of the world. and that bis heart is no Is
land cut of from other lands, but a continent
that Joins them"
"wby doyou keep yourself so distant g"
said fair one 90 her bashful lover" Be
cause, said he. distance lends enchantment
to tie view
A Methodist church 90 the West asked the
conference 10 send tia single minister. The
request was granted, but the designated pastor
stopped on the way and got married.
-s
The French have discovered that the white
Of an EGG given in swestened water is a sure
cure for the Group The remedy Is to be re-
pested until @ cure is effected.
An irritable man having been Disappointed
in Dis boots, threatened 70 chaw mp the shoe
maker, lutc5mpromisci by jrukmgacolb,er.
What two sciences are employed by team
STEERS En- lrf,fr.., -yar TE,4. '+,,--.,,.l ~