Vermont daily transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1868-1870, 1869-04-24
u She's in there, sir.'

for him, as he had no lady acquaintan-
ccs in the city; but being remarkably
fond of ladies he had 10 objection to
seeing this one, who was plunged into
grief on his account.
Mrs. Hopkins was sitting on the sofa.
and the gas not having been lighted,
the twilight of the place favored the
deception, and she took him for her
husband.
There was Il resemblance between the
two mon. And that immaculate suit of
clothes, of course il was he.
She sprang up, and was in his arms in
n moment.
ooh, my dearest, dcares Frank l'shc
cried, where have YOU been: How
could you stay away from your own Ag-
gle so long"0 an ! she began to put on
the kisses In Il way Frank Swift thought
particularly delightful.
Swift returned them with interest.
| feeling very much like a bee in n hive
of honey!
my dear Frank, don't kiss SO hard
You dreadful man! You haven't shaved
to-day! You ought to be ashamed of
yoursclfn ~
Mover mind thatu' cried Swift. 81
should forget everything if were with
YOU"
"Why, Frank, how dreadful hoarse
you are! You have got cold my dar-
ling; | am so sorry! Here, nave Pep
pcrmint lozengc," and she put one into
his mouth in such way that Swift
wished he might have n perpetual cold,
and be fed forever ON peppcrmi t lozcn-
gCS.
'Whcrc did you get this Odious smell
Of cigars? | wisl. YOU would never
touch anothcr.n
Il never will, my darling"
just then the door opened, and there
was q spirited alteration going on i'm the
hall between the waiter and man with
Il very red face, who wore Il long tailed
coat and a pair of very bagey panta-
looms.
81 tell you she's my wife, and if you
don't stand aside and let me pass, I'll
are now !" and the bcligercnt speaker
dashed into the room.
"Jupiter," he cried, at sight of Mrs.
Hopkins with Ter head lying on tho
shoulder of Mr.. Swift. "Can / believe
my eyes? My wife in the arms ofa par
amour! Good heavens"
"Your wife," cried Swift.
MY wife; l am the lady's husband,
you william"
Coed gracous!n cried Mrs. Hop
kins, the man is crazy! My husband,
indeed, sir! my husband don't wear
coat that was cut in the ark, and panta-
looms that look like meal bags Oh,
Frank" cir ging to Mr.. Swift, PRO
tect me from him.
Let her go this instant, roared Mr.
Hopkins, " or III be the death of ye."
Don't let him touch mel" cried the
lady. "Oh, heavens! only see that
horrd coat. And he's got the express
sion of murderer"
Murderer? Jupiter! this from my
wife! TITS too much. III be the death
of that vile scoundrel; and then, mad
am, we will live apart her ceforth and
foreverW and Selling heavy candle
stick from the mantle, he made dive
at Mr.. Swift.
Swift grappled with him-Hopkins
trot on the jail of his coat, and down he
went and dragged Swift with him.
"Oh, gracious me! ~ screamed Mrs.
Hopkins, he'll kill Franl-I can see
murder in his eye!" and woman-like,
she wanted to have a finger in the pie
and with huge cory CT Shakespeare she
fell to beating poor Hopkins on the
back.
You stole my clothes, you dirty
wretch, YOU" exclaimed Hopkins.
And you stole mine" exclaimed
Swift; "my swallow-tai maze out of
| OHC tilut NY w us Illd tTlCU III,
and the butternut trOuserlOOns that Aunt
Sally contrived out of bed blanket!
And you left your p;ebald affairs, and
they're so straight that I've been afraid
to stoop all day. and nothing in the
pockets of 'em but a quizzing-glass and
bottle of billed down musk squash !"
"Ill strip you on the spot" thunder
ed Hopkins making grab at the gor-
geons plaids; " off with them, or take
the consequences. It's bad enough to
find you hugging my wife, but to hear
you abuse them pantaloons-it's sufiici-
ent to make Il minister swear The
Jenkins, right from Paris !" and every
word was emphasized by punch in
the ribs.
g Darn Jenkins? and darn Paris"
cried Swift, in a rage. 50 If had a pair
of brooches that fit me in the waistband
as these things do, I'd be the death of
the man that split 'em'
Mrs. Hopkins began to smell rat.
She drew tack from pounding Hop
kins, and took Il survey of the parties.
GOOD graciOus"' cried she. "Its
Frank himself, but the tother ones got
on his clothes. Oh, Lordy meW and
she tainted but recovered herself in
stantly, when she saw her husband
oDout W tlioN SOliiC WattI III Her lace.
Don't. Frank! DON'T" she eX claim
ed, g it cost me half dollar to get my
foreht ad enameled, and there's a quar-
ter's worth of gold powder in my hair!
| shall be better in minute"
So she was, and the mistake was eX-
planned fully. Hopkins and Swift |
shook hands-rctrcd, and changed
clothes.
They became the best of friends, and |
in due time Swift married Mrs. Hop
kins' sister and after season, he too
reioiced in a pair of plaid pantaloons,