The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1869-01-08
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
Cold Wether-Mutton.

10i thO "eudiIiS cake IL always IFOsleu.
Gabriel is to be impeached by the
, Second Adventists, who want things
hurried up.
Feed your minds as well as your
body, for that, you know, must 60
into scales at last
! Empty your Iiquor bottle, for you
have already " torked over " altogeth-
er enough for them.
Do not steal yourpreaching man
was once struck blind, you know, for
stealing fire from heaven.
I Send your children constantly to
school, and look in now and then TO
see what they are doing there.
Visit the sick, the widow and the
tatherless : for this is one part of that
religion which is pure and undefled.
Patronize your own merchants and
traders. For that is doing as you
would be done by, and is building up
the town you live in.
Keep all neat and clean about your
dwellings for cleanliness, you know,
is the handmaid of health and 4 dis
cant cousin of wealth.
Remember, my SON." said ira,
ding quaker to his boy. ain making
your way into the world, spoonful Of
oil will so further than a gallon of
vinegar.
Flora pointed to the heavy mass of
clouds in the sky, saying: 81 wonder
where those clouds are goiug.' and
her brother replied, "I think they are
going to thunder"
Somebody has proposed to estab-
lish schools tor training servants. We
now propose that there be school for
the education ofmodern young women
into wives. Servants are not so scarce
as housekeepers.
"A lady who had horror of tobac-
co, got into a railway car the other
day, and inquired of male neighbor
"DO you chew tobacco sir? IN " No,
madam, don't" was the reply; g but
| can get you chaw if you want
one"
What are you heating that boy
for ?" asked a gentleman Of Il young
rutfian who was pummelling a small
lad. " Kase," was the reply, " he's the
felier that threw tater through our
winder and hit Is:lbeller on the elber
as she was a rlayin' on the pianner,
& Hans, what is the matter?"
"Mine Cot, the sarrel wagon has
run away init de green horse, and
proke de axletree of de prick house
vat stands by the corner lamp bo>t
across de way from de apple trees
run laupey and stop the delegrap.
Mine Cot, what bceples.
Old Deacon Sharp never told a lie,
but he used to relate this: He was
standing, one day-we have his word
for it--and saw a large garter snake |
make an attempt upon an enormous
bull-frog. The snake seized one of the
frogs hind legs, and the frog, TO be
on par with his snakeship, caught him
by the tail, and both continued swaL
lowing one another until nothing was
leit of them.
During the recent rough passage of
the VIM. Penn from navre, one old
lady, expecting the vessel to go down,
arrayed herself in her best bonnet,
and with her good clothes in bundle
under her arm and an umbrella in her
hand, sat awaiting the sinking of the
ship.
n Iauy TcUcIrVry aSrrvruI-sevr III T
paper that she wanted gentleman
+" for breakfast and tea;'' =hile an
other advertises for husband having
a Roman nose with strong religious
tendencies, and a third party seeks to
recover wallet belonging to gen
tleman made of calf skin.
A Scotch minister, it is reported,
went into his pulpit once in the oIden
times, slightly Obtusticated, and leaned
over the prosecutors desk below the
pulpit--sayiug: "G-iv-e out the
259th Psalm.'' "There be'ant so
many" said the presenter, wien faced
and savage. "Then sing SO many as
there be-"
A distinguished visitor once entered
the counting room of RothsChild, who
was very much engaged. Without
looking up he said, ''Take Il chair and
beseated - The gentleman addressed,
feeling aggrieved at such reception,
remarked: "You did not perhaps
hear my name g: / am the Count Of
- "Oh, yes" replied the
banker, "take two chairs, if you
please"
How do you like the character of
st. Paul? asked parson of his land
lady one day, during the conversation
about the old saints and apostles -
{" Ali he was good clever old soul, /
know Tor he once said, You know,
that we must eat what is set before
us, and ask no questions for conscience
sake L always thought | should like
him for a boar,lcr"
A sick man, slightly convalsscine, !
reeently, in conversation with pious
friend, who congratulated him upon
his recovery, and asked him who his
physician was, replied $ DIR. Jones
lbr0uoht me through. - - No, ma, /
said his friend God brought YOU |
out of your Illness not the doctor.
- Well, maybe be did, but am ce~-
tain the doctor will charge me for it
Dn Chaillu describes the costumes Of
the Court of King Dinps in the fUl |
lowing manner THE King wore a
dress ceat--and nothing ,lse his first
minister wore shirt withoHt sleeves
the second minister wore neck tie
and nothing else; the third was adorn
led with a hat-and nothing else but
the Queen varied the fashion by wear
ling an umbrella-and- nothing eise'
This calls to mind the old Texan ran
GER uniforms straw hat and pair of
spurs. Z Offenbach might advanta-
jgeously improve this hint.