Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1869-01-02
Amusing Anecdote.

periodical published at Charlotte, n. c.:
The provost marshal Of the best gov
ernmcnt the world ever saw" had jolly
time of it during the struggle for emanci-
pating "the man and brother" Loyalty
was good paying virtue in that charming
period, and no one knew better how to
make it pay than certain German provost
marshal in Baltimore, whose love for the
old flag intensified every day, as his pocket
book swelled larger and heavier
A friend gives the following scene in
the provost marshal's. Office Of the truly
loyal Maj. B.
A neat, we'll dressed recruit has just
been brought in, and the truly loyal official
sees fine opportunity for patriotism and
greenbacks.
SCENE 1sT.
Maj. B. Watts your name?
Recruit John Jones.
Maj. V. Veil, John Jones, has you
got Won watch?
Recruit. pulling out his watch).
Yes, have a splendid one.
Maj. A. affecting surprisc.) Veil!
veil! Py tam, John Jones has Won watch
in his pocket! Wy, John Jones, py tam,
you know having Watches is giving aid and
comfort to the enemy. Wy, John Jones,
py tam, you know tc rules and regulation
of tc army say dat no soldier shall have tc
watch.
John Jones. with astonishment.)
How does carrying watches give aid and
comfort to the enemy?
Maj. B. Veil, looks here, tcrc is one
million of soldiers in te grand army. Sup
pose all tc soldiers have te watch, and sup
pose tcrc bc's Won big battle and tc rebels
vips our men and take ten tousand prison
ers, den he get ten tousand watch, and he
send to watch to Nassau and he puy tc
powder, and tc gun and te cannon. Wy
certainly John Jones, wearing to watch is
giving aid and comfort to tc tam rebel
Here, clerk, take John Jones watch and
give him five tollar in grccnbacks for him.
John Jones. (Angrily). gave one
hundred dollars in gold for my watch. I
won't give it up.
Maj. B. You won't giveup yourvatch!
John Jones, py tam, you won't obey te
rules andregulation of tc army. Sergeant
of tc guard! take John Jones to tc guard
house, gives him prcad and water FIVE tays,
and pring me his watch.
exit sergeant with prisoner and returns
again with watch.)
SCENE 2D.
Enter sergeant with dirty, ragged,
recruiD.
Maj. b. Watts your name?
Recruit. Bill Smith.
Maj. b. Veil, Pill Smit, has you Won
watch?
Bill Smith. pointing to his rags.) 1
am pretty looking fellow to carry watch,
amt I?
Maj. B. with great surprise.) Vat,
Pill Smit, you = soldier Of t. grand army
of to best government in to world, and not
have a watch! Py tams to hells! Pill
smit, you disgrace to to old Aag. How
you specks to Be sentinel on to Potomac
NIT Ho watch in to pocket? How you
know ven 70 relief GOMEZ Te rules and
regulations Of to army say dat all soldier.
must have vsteh, and sll provost marshal
must keep tenn and give 70 to soldier vat
don't have tenn.
Here, clerk, give Pill Snit watch, and
take fifty tollat oat Of his pounty money.
Bill Smith. (Angrily). I don't want :
watch, never had ono in my life. You
shan't have my bounty money:
Maj. B. Ha! ha! Pill Smit, you like
ts tam rebel, you Won't obey to law! Vat
says to rules and regulations of to army!
Every soldier shall have to watch to sup
port to dignity Of to government. Ser
geant, take Pill Smit to to guard house,
gives him pread ana vater till he buys to
watch.
1T is almost needless to say that in
few days, Bill Smith sees the necessity Of
supporting the best government the world
ever saw. R.of-
Our friend T. omits the best part Of the
anecdote. He was telling the story, one
day, in crowded saloon. mid the hearty
laughter and cheers Of al present, when 4
hand was laid upon his shoulder, and look
ing around, he saw the veritable Maj. B.
himself.
"Ah," said he, 1T. you tells . story
tam we'll. wants you in our club. !
conda IN vo,,p namc | asks tenn To vote