The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-09-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

scarce. tsR--o
If the doctor orders bark, has not the patient
q right to growth
Truth requires plain words; she rejects all
antiquities and reserves.
Isn't it queer that contractors should be en-
gagged to widen streetsf
Truth is violated by falsehood and il may be
equally outraged by silence.
These who despise the little things of life |
rarely achieve any great ones
The ten-inch gun is more than anything else |
the X-pounder of cannon law.
The young man who steed on his own merits |
became very much .fatigued with the perform
ance.
"what makes you spend your time so freely
Jack ~ Because it's the only thing hav
tospend."
He submits himself to be seen through q
microscope who suffers himself to be caught in
passion.
AS you are strong, be merciful. Beat your
carpets if you like, but don't hit 'em when they
are dotUR.
man who sat upon paper of carpet nails
the other day, said they reminded him of the
income tacks.
Anna Maria Story recently married to
Robert Short. A very pleasant way of making
story short
A lady at the West End positively refuses to
eat corn starch, lest it should impart stiffness
to her manners.
Why was Pharaoh's daughter like broker
rushes ON the banks.
cranky bachelor says that there are not
half SO many self-made men nowadays as
there arc "selfmade" women.
Somebody, in describing beautiful lady,
SAYS she has "a face that painter might dweU
upon" Rather broad face that.
What is the difference between n school
master and an enginc-driverf One trains the
mind and the other minds the train.
The New York San suggests that Chinese
laborers should be employed during the heated
term, for the reason that they are coolies
Why are corn and potatoes like the idols of
old Because the former have ears and hear
not, and the latter have eyes and see not.
Exercise is good thing, but tho brain needs
| it quite as much as the body. Some people
never seem to think of the former-nor with it,
Under the head of " Broken English" Paris
| paper places such Londoners as get mashed up
| by railway collisions, or who financially come
! to grief.
troops, said, =" Notwithstanding many of them
leave blooming wives behind, they so away in
transports"
"What would you be, dearest ?" said Walter
| to his sweetheart, "if was to press the seal
of love on those sealing-wax lips :" 81 would
| be stationery"
Cicero says: GAS approve of the youth that
has something of the old man in him, SO am
no less pleased with the old man who has some
thing of heyouth."
An experienced traveller says that behind a
locomotive is about safe place as this
world affords. 1t is certainly much safer than
| it is to get before it.
An Englishman can do nothing without a
dinner an American cannot stop to eat. With
regard to the latter, perhaps not; but just ask
him to drink, and see what then.
"Bill," said Bob, "why is that tree called a
weeping willow ?" -"'Cause one of the sneaky
plaguey things grew near our school house
and supplied our master with switches"
How do you do, Jones pleasant day, this
What luck with the fishing W Rather pS SE
what have you there. / call that good eel p
Let your religion be, seen. Lamps do MOI
: walk, but they do shine. A lighthouse sounds
no drum, it beats no gong, and yet far over thu
waters its friendly spark is seen by the mariner
and struggles against having as long as pos
sfble, but which, when he once gets 1t, ht
would not part with for all the worldf A bale
head.
) and gives the answer, Why has Nature giver
us two ears and but one tongue I" In orde
: that we should repeat but one-half of what w
. hear"
, A new hand in n Boston shop made terrible
work in shaving customer. When the bag
,, Cling ended, the victim asked, " Did you eve
: shave anybody befores ?" =" Yes, sir" All! di'
the man live ~
? a country editor, in speaking of a steamboat
said she had twelve bcrths in her Iadles cabin
''Ob, life ef-meE, exclaimed an old lady, Of
reading tho above, I" what squailing ther
must have beenU
f -" Papa said boy, "ought the schoolmaste
to fog me for what did not do Z" "+Certainl
. not, my boy" replied the father. WE'LL" re
t piled the little fellow he did it to-day when
did not do any sum-"
9 We overrate whatever we have accomplished
= and underrate what we have never dared
+ perform The lady who pruned her rose bush
4 thought that the clearing of forest was no
# such hard work after all.
"Call that a kind man." said an actor, speal
+ ing of an absent acquaintance, " q man VIII
!. ran away from his family, and never send
: them q cent-call that kindness 2" "Yes, III
. remitting Kindness" was the reply.
o poor man who had termagant wife, afte
o. O long dispute, in which she was resolved t
e have the last word, told her if she spoke on
# more crooked word he'd beat her. "Why, ther
rams horn, you rogue" said she, ''if die for it
+; At a late military dinner, one of the visitor
, proposed a toast, Z" May the man who has los
/ one eye in the service of his country never sc
.. distress with the other ~ but the person who's
q duty it was to give the toast, by emitting tn