The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-11-19

A Bs,hst lady has written novel In. which
she speaks Of twins, zone ave and the other
six yean Old
"Hsns, whsrs do you livei" "Aercss DO
river NIT de turnpikes by der schoo, s 20 80
up NIT der right hand on der oder SIDE
"Dou't trouble yourself to stretch your
mouth any WIDER" said dentist 10 his p~-
TENT, al intend to stand outside to draw your
tooth"
The students Of the University OF Michigan
detsrminsd 10 have female lecturers this season.
snd have invited Anna Dickinson, Mrs Stanton.
Miss Field and @. y. Train.
n. aid m Irish apothecary. you hnd three
.umblcrs of whisky punch disagree with you
over night, don't take 'em till the next day and
then leave them of entirely.
A lady and gent sdmiring poplar tree, the
latter prIlantly remarked: '.If add you TO u,
n viii become popular" "Better, u,, che re
plied. "and Il win become populous." lie took
the hint and married her soon after.
The editor Of the Springfield (M.) Leader has
been advertising for . boy several meeks, to
learn the printing trade, and on Thursday his
wife 6Iled the order for him. which shows that
advertising pays.
An old maid in Boston keeps the mosquitoes
out Of her room by having young and hand
some niece sleep In the next room, with the door
open. There Is q good share Of human nature
in . mosquito.
A reporter, in an article on the destitute poor,
spoke or the great number OF persons reduces
10 poverty by the 'mysterious DEGREES OF Pro'i.
dence." HIS astonishment may be imagined
when he saw the printer had altered II to 1.-The
mysterious decrease Of provisions"
A cautious itemirer tells what Is the matter
With noted lady in the following terms The
Princess de Metternch Is to retire from society
for little while. and Is buying lots OF cdgings,
insertions. muslins. and 30 on which she Is max.
ing up into little garments too large for doll
and too small for herself"
A thin shawl may be made warm by foldinga
newspaper inside Of u. The paper Is imperVi.
Gus 10 the wind and cid air from outside, and
prevents the rapid escape Of warm air from be-
meath Il. If you suffer from cold feet on jour
ney, fold piece Of newspaper over your stock
ings; this Is better than rubbers. If you are
cold in bed, newspapers spread under the upper
cover will serve As an additional blanket.
A very good story comes from Franklin coun-
~. A short time ago close-hstcd farmer In
that region died after deyising one dollar to his
only son. The old gcntlman was duly buried In
the venerable churchyard, which suffered ter
rible washing away by the food, and short
time ago his body was found opposite the sons
place. having been brought down the river
long distance. When the tender-bearted son
was informed Of the fact he msde the touching
remark, "Probahly como back after that dol
hrr'
Jimmy NJ was one Of the bright boys.
and although but seven or eight years oil, hal
eyinccd love for wealth. and looked forward to
the time when he should be rich man.
One morning at breakfast his aunt informed
him that during the night pair Of twins had
been added to The family, which already con-
sisted Of three besides Jimmy.
The boy dUppei his knife and fork and e1-
claimed:
Gracious aunt Mary, IL father and mother
keep on at this rate. there won't be 6fty dollars
apiece TO divide amongs, us'
A Methodist preacher who was on his way to
o camp meeting happened to think that he had
left his horn at home. and ~ that is certainly
very useful in calling the lambs Of his flock, he
stopped at tin shop on his way for the purpose
Of purchasing one.
..wil this make q loud noisel he asked Sc
Letting one that appeared to suit him.
"Oh, yes h-n Of noise - said the
tinker, producing piece Of paper to roll II up.
swell, as want il to blow ut camp meet
ing. I guess IL Is not the sort am looking
for" And the Parson walked dignihedly
away.