The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-05-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

"I wish, Sally y,"said Jonathan, sst "a
you were locked in my arms, and the X
was lost"
A NaEs's wife Is bis best lawyer, bis BEST
counsel, bis best Judge, his best adTls sE.
and also the cheapest and most reasonable.
JosH BmLMos says, "One il the fuasiest
scenes ( ever listened 90. was 4w0 old maids
waiting on one sick baUnelor.
Why do you drive such a pitiful looking
carcass a. that z Why don't YOU nut hea-
yier coat Of flesh On BIN ?" A heavier coat
of aesh On him BY the powers, the poor
creature can hardly carry what little there
Is on him now"
"CoaE back, cir, that's net tho road,o
said Lord Eghnt0n 70 a trespasser III his
park. H'DO ye keu," said the offender.
"Whaur Pm gaun Z" oNoD replied his
lordship. "Weel, hoo do w Ken whether
this be the road or no %
THE tendency OF people 70 carry Quota
tions too far was illustrated In 4 PRAYER
meeting tae other dag BY a brother
exclaImlng, I'D an agony Of pictv, 20 Lord
have mercy upon us peOr sinners, Of which |
am chief among ten thousand, and altogetl
or lovely :"
A dESrLENAS received an unpaid letter,
commencing, "Sir, your letter of yesterday
bears upon It's face the stamp Of falsehoOd."
dis answer Was brief and 10 the purpose
''Sri 4 only wish your letter 1f yesterday
bore upon its face stam7 of any kind"
A LITTLE boy and girl had 4an cautioned
never I'D take the uest-egg when gathering
the eggs but one evening the girl reached
me nest hrst seized an 80 anil started fcr
the house. Her disappointed brother fail
lowed, crying "Mother Mother Susy she's
been and goE the egg the OId heu measures
W I'
SfERSE, Who used his wife ver7 IN. was one
daY talking t0 Iarriek Iu y 6na. seutmen-
tai manner, IN praise Of conjug 4 love and
hdehty4 'fle husband said Sterne. nrho
behaves uukillly t1 his wife deserves
20 have bis house burnt over bis bead.9
" X yen think so,' saii Garrick. f.I hope
your house is insured"
COURI lNCIDENTs-On a certain occasion
the counsel took some exception t0 the rul-
ing 81 The court Oh a certain point. and
dispute arose 'lf the court please said
tne counsel, wish t0 refer tg thIs buCk A
moment, ana at the same sine picking up
a law volume.
AA@ Aa~ NlAE NHAHfTtIE NN HIw
Books" said the court, angrily, III have
decided the p'ilts"
"BltI your Honor per sted the sftor-
ney
snow, don't want .J hear arvthing fur
tier 0n the subject" yelled tb. court, WIZ
tell vJu again, / have decid-I thc pint r'
IA know that wa Tho 1s.lir 5er, rfPm
satisfied of that-but this " " volume WI
Blackstone; I'm certain he differs With your
Honor. ana A only want To show y5u Uhat
n JOgs Blackstone r1s n"
Ah, that indeed ~ exclaimed tho court,
smiling ali over, snow y0u begin t0 Iah."
H0~ SAN WAS CAUCHT.-An old ladv who
wa making some jam was called upon bY q
neighh NJ ">Am, YOU rascal" sus Eait,
"ysu'l be eating my IAN VaeH Pm away"
Sam protested he'd iie first hut ths whites
of his ayt- oiled huugriiy toward tbs 5u5-
bling crimson. "See here, SAM sad The
oid lazy, taxing up TiHce 0f chalk, All
chalk y0w lips, ara then, WV m7 return,
I'll kn0w d yea have eaten any 4" 81 saying,
she passed het f0reAagHr over the thiUk ip
" her d4rksy, holding thy chalk in tls
palm ot her hand, and not letting it tough
him. When she came back she dii nlt naed
to ak any questions, lor Sans lps were
chalked a quarter 0f an inch thick.