The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-10-21
Last WORDS Of Great Men--The
system q Failure.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Marshal Niel's last words were: Lar
NEE Francaisew (The French Army. y
Exchange.
What sad thing it is to see a man
close grand career with plagiarism in
his mouth Napoleon's last words were
''Tete d0rmee.' (Head of the army.)
Neither of these remarks amounts to any
thing as the last words" and reflect little
credit upon the utterers. A distinguished
man should be as particular about his
last words as he is about his last breath.
He should write them on a slip of paper
and take the Judgment of his friends on
them.
He should never leave such thing to
the last hour of his life, and trust to an
intellectual squirt at the last moment TO
enable him to say something smart with
his latest gasp, and launch into eternity
with grandeur. No-a man is too much
tagged and exhausted both in body and
mind, at such time, to be reliable and
may be, the very thing he wants to say
he cannot say to save him and besides,
there are his weeping friends boihering
around and worse than all, as likely as
not, he may have to deliver his last gasp
when he is not expecting to. A man can
not always expect to think of natty
thing to say under such circumstances,
and so it is pure egotistic ostentation to
put it off. There is hardly case on re-
cord where man came to his last moment
unprepare6 and said good thing--hard-
ly case where man trusted to that last
moment and did not make solemn botch
of it, and 60 out of the world feeling alb
surd.
Now there was Daniel Webster. No
body could tell him anything. He was
not afraid He could do something neat
when the time came. And how did it
turn out ? Why, his will had 10 be fixed
over and then all his relations came
and first one thing and then another in-
terfered, till at last he only had chance
to say 81 still live and up he went. Of
course he didn't still live, because he died
and 80 he might as well have kept his
last word to himself as to have gone and
made such failure of it as that.
A week before that, fifteen minutes
would have enabled that man to cOntrive
some last words tha: would have been a
credit to himself and comfort to his
family for generations TO come.
And there was John Quincy Adams
Relying on his splendid abilities and cool
ness in emergencies, he trusted to happy
hit at the last moment to carry him
through, and what was the result Deati
smote him in the House of Representa-
tives, and he observed casually, ''This i;
| the last of earth" The last of eaI til
! Why the ''last of earth," when there il
SO much more left If he had said i
was the last rose of summer, or the las
run of shad, it would have had just a.
much point to il. What he meant TO say
was, "Adam was the first, and Adams i:
the last of eartI," and he put it off TOT
long, and 30 had to GO with that unmean
ing observation on his lips.
And there we have Napoleon" Iet
! da,rsee" That don't mean anything.
Taken by itself, ''Head of the army i:
no more important than ''Head of police,
| And yet that was a man who could have
said good thing if he had barred but the
! doctor and studied over it while. And
| his Marshal Neil, with half century at
his disposal couldn't dash off anything
| better in his last moments than a poor
plagiarism of another mans last words,
which were not worth plagiarizing in tho
first place. ''The French army" Per-
| fectly irrelevant-perfectly fat--utterly
pointless. But if he had closed one eye
Significantly, and said, ''The subscriber
has made it lively for the French army,
and thrown little of the comic into his
last gasp, it would have been thing TO
remember with satisfaction the rest of his
| life. do wish our great men would quit
saying these fat things just at the mo-
ment they die. Let US have their next
to- o-their>last words for while, and see il
we can not patch up something from them
| that will be a little more satisfactory.
The public does not wish to be outraged
in this way all the time.
But when we come to call to mind the
last words of parties who took the trouble
to make proper preparation fol the Occa
sion, we Immediately notice happy diff
| ference In the result.
There was Chesterfield. Lord Ches,
terfield had labor ed all his lie TO build up
the most shining reputation for affability,
and elegance of speech and manners the
world has ever seen. And could you sup
pose he failed to appreciate the character
| istic ''last words In the matter of seizing
the successfully driven nail of such rep
utation and clinching it on the other side
forever? Not he. He prepared himself.
He kept his eye on the clock and his fin
ger on his pulse. He awaited his chance
| And at last, when he knew his time wal
come, he pretended to think a new visitor
had entered, and so, with the rattle in hi
throat emphasized for dramatic effect, Ia,
said to the servant ''Shin around, John
/ and get the gentleman a chair" Anc