The Union flag. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1865-187?, 1869-04-30
AN UNPLEASANT SITUATION,
or Keep Your Little Brother out
OF the Room.

JOHN Smith-you've heard Of him
Is very bashful; is too bashtul, in
truth. He was born and'raised 10 the
country His father gave him good
education and allowed him plenty OF
money. But John, with all other
attainments, never could aeeustom
himself TO the, society Of females, not
because he did not like the girls, but
because his shy nature would not per-
NIT him to associate with the fair sex.
1t once happened, not very long ago
either, that Johns father had some
very important business to transact
in tho city. He also bad some very
particular affairs to attend to at home,
which demanded his personal atten-
ton, and not possessing the power Of
ubiquity, he delegated hiS son John
to transact that in the city.
John, being thus missioned, i'm
mediately, proceeded to the city and
to the residence of his fathers old
friend, whom he found to be very
old gentleman, with beautiful daugb-
ter and gold speetacles.
John was ushered into the parlor
Ga new thing for him) and motioned
to a seat--no! sofa, (another new
thing). Na
But we must use his own languages;
q ( TOOK my seat and made observa-
tiona. Everything was fne. Fine
carpets, fine sofas, fine tables, fine
curtains, fine books, piano, fine every
thing, and especially fine young
lady, who was dressed in fine silk, fine
satin, and who aad fine curls, and u
fine appearance generally
After chatting with the old gentle
man a few minutes, he took down his
hat, told me to make nyself at home
for an hour or two and left-left me
alone with his daughter and small,
mischievous boy, the young lady's
brother. | didn't relish the situation
at all. The idea of Keeping city
belle engaged in conversation for two
hours perdition! Silence reigned in
the parlOr for short time, you may
bot. l amused myself as much as
possible with the boy-that is, 4
loan ed him my knife and watch and
key, and watched him cut holes in the
carpet with one, and spoil the other.
I don't know what would have done
had it not been for that b0y-he was
SO good to attract ones atteution, You
know a- -sf 81
It's true, he asked some startling
questions, occasionally, such AS this,
for instance: ",Are you goin TO court
sister Emily2" hnt such things must
be expected under such circumstanc
Miss Emily, thinking no doubt, that,
to be a good hostess, she must engage
her guestsin conversation, asked nae
how liked country life, etc. She
said, it must be beautiful sight 20
see the laborers romping on the new
mown hay on a New Years Day ;
thai she always did think she would
like to spend aChristmas in the coun-
try q nut gathering with the village
lads aud lAsses; Chatit always bad
been a mystery to her how thcy got
eggs off the trees without breaking
| them.
In return, ] thought, to keep up my
part of tho conversation, it was ne
cessary for INC to quote poetry and
the ike, which did. Among other
quotations l unfortunately repeated
the well known lines of Shakespeare
"Thers's a divinity that shapes our ea,'a
Rough-hew them IS We will e4i Iet...t y
AT this iuncture, the boy, who had
perched himself upon my knees
looked very earnestly in my face and
said .. ,,,.,..
Divinity shaped the end of your
noge mighty Gurus I'm certain that
| | wished somebody would spank the
young rascal. We talked Of hills,
mountains, wales, cataracts-I believe
said waterfalls, when the boy spoke
up and said Why sisters got a
| tfnnk fun Of EN- up stairs-spap says
they are made out Of hoss hairf9aa.
This revelation struck terror into
me and bIushes into the cheeks Of my
| fair O0mpauiOn. H f9lr,t'
IL heganto be very apparent To me
that | must be very guarded in what
/ said, lesl said boy might slip IN bis
remarks at unealIed tor places in fac
| / turned my conversation TO him.
told him he ought to 90 home with
me, and see what nice chickens w
had in the country. Unluckily men
toned yoke Of calves my brothers
owned. The word calves ruined all
The littls fellow looked up and said
Sisters got dozen Of EN-, but sh,
don't wear 'em only when she goes ay
IN town O. windy days oTft d a
Leave the room you nnmannerlJ
little wretch, exclaimed Emily, l6Av,
: Immediately +ar ASK -,
/, i know what you want ME 10 leav,
fOr,I replied he, lyon can't fool mo-
you want 10 SET III that mans Tap anS
! kiss him like yoa did Bill Simmohl
: the other day--yon can't fool me, II
: les tell you. Gim mV some candy likl