The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-05-27
DEGETT OF SONG WRITER'S
BIZ TIE "rAr CONTRIBUTOR"

The man who wrote Z" H o me, Sweet Home,
never had home.-ExC HANGE.
No. Of course not. All his folks at home
saw be didn't. Nobody who writes about
ANYTHING ever has it. If man is out Of
anything he immed ately gees and writes
about it. No one writes 50 m any "headipgs"
as the man who is out of his head.
Certainly he didn't have any home. The
man who EItte "Cld Arm Chsn" Eey-
er had an arm clair in all his life. The
best he had was an Old split bottom chair
without any back to it.
The author Of Take hack to Switzer-
lard' never was in Switzerland. The near
est he ever came to it was sitting in the w.
Tell saloon eating Switzer kase-kGSe why,
that was the best he could do.
"Mother, I've come Home to Die" hasn't
spoken to the old woman for years, and
wouldn't go near the house. Besides, he is
one Of that class Of spiritualists who don't
believe they will ever die. His health was
never better His mother is nothing but
a mother in law, and she Is dead, anyhow.
There is the author Of "Old Oaken Buck
ct. - too; there wasn't bucket Oh the whole
farm, water being drawn with pail and a
cistern pole.
IF had but thousand year" stated
privately to his friends thai he would be
he was doing chores just for his board aud
three months schooling in the winter.
The author of Champagne Charley"
never drank anything but ten cent whisky.
The man who wrote "Biary had little
lamb" knew very well it was nothing but
little lamb fry.
.'Shells Of Ocean, is a humbug. The
plantive poet who represents himself az
wandering, one summers eve, with sea-beat
thought, on a pensive shore, was raised in
the interior of Pennsy ylvania, and never was
ten miles away from home in all his life
/ ''Gathered Shells" did he2 All the shells
! he ever gathered were some egg shells back
| Of his mothers kitchen.
"Hark, l hear the angels singing spent
all his evenings. in a concert beer saloon
Angels, indeed!
The man who wrote the Song of the
/ Shirt hadn't a shirt to his back, wearing a
wammus for the most part.
"Oft in the Silly Night used to get on
a spree and make the Silly night howl till
day break.
knew very well it was all arranged before
hand. He had been weeks in contriving it,
and she admired his contrivance.
The author of Il know bank" &C..
didn't know one where he could get his
note discounted. The only check he ever
held was a white check on faro bank
He never had red check in all his life.
What are the wild waves saying 90 knew
very well they were reproaching him for
/ running away from Long Branch without
paying his hotel bill.
''Who will care for mother now 2'' Who,
| indeed You took the old woman to the
poor house just before writing the song, and
there is nobody but the pocrmAster to care
for her now.
.'Hear me Norma,' was deaf and dumb,
! He couldn't make his pa hear nor ma.
my mother dear" used to thrash the
old woman within an inch of her life.
The author of "Rain on the roof" aIwav
slept in the basement, except when ne slept
out doors.
LET me kiss him for his mother" got
mad because his mother wouldn't have him,
ard whipped her little boy within inch
Of his life.
i dreampt 1 dwelt in marble halls"
used to cheat at marbles when a hoy, and
! his dream horrid nightmare. brought
( on by renorse at the recollection of fraudu-
/ lent marble hd,lls.
"I'm saddest when I sing,'' was tickled
almost to death when invited TO.
/ "Happy by thy Dreams" sold bepzne
whiskey. You can fancy what kind of
dreams were produced.
No one to love-" having just killed his
( fifth wife. naturally felt Ike the devil
-,