Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1869-10-26
Mr.. Norton's Advertising.
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

BY CLARA AUGUSTA.
The very thing, by George! | won-
der l never thought of it before, in
serious way. Here am, ,fve-andtorty
years of age-James Norton, Esq.-a
man of good standing in society,a and in
possession Of fortune of fifty thous-
and dollars, and no wife to help me
enjoy my prosperity, and keep up my
honorable name. Wherein is the use
of saving money. if you haven't any
child to inherit it? What is the use
of leaving respectable character be-
hind you if you haven't any grateful
posterity to be proud that they had
such a father? And now that | am
in earnest, | wonder who it will be
best to honor with an offer ofmy hand ?
l wonder who's the best qualified for
a wife of my female acquaintances ?
| should like young lady-one toler-
ably handsome preferred. But then,
a young girl wouldn't be likely to
fancy an old fellow such as me, | sup
pose. [ wonder if | do look so very
old ?" And Mr.. Norton placed him
self before the mirror, and surveyed
himself to the right and to the left.
"Confound that white hair! Come
out it shall, by George! | am not
remarkably handsome man. if it must
be confessed; but then, there's a GER
tain business air about me that tells
with the women! Talk as much
about beauty as you choose, there's
but precious few women in the world
that wouldn't rather marry a homely
man Of talent, than a handsome fool
III give them the credit to admit that.
And then, sometimes a mans money
has some influence with the pretty
creatures. Sometimes, | Say-which
means occasionally-but not often.
Now, I've no doubt but there's many
a woman in this very town that would
be glad to become Mrs. Norton; but
how am to know who they are? 1t
would be terribly mortifying to a man
of my age to be refused! | don't be-
lieve | could stand it! The boys
would joke me about it on the street,
and as like as not Mr.. Scissors would
allude TO it in the morning Ledger.
Then, of course, I'd have to sell out
and leave town. BY George I'll
never run the risk! But I'll do some
thing better-I'll advertise. Ha, ha,
no risk in that, for I've only to take
choice from the applicants for the
pleasure of being; my wife. That will
be quite a business transaction.
Lucky | thought of it p
In the ecstacy which he felt at his
happy idea, Mr.. Norton bounded up so
suddenly that he overturned the table
before which he had been sitting, send
ing the inkstands, pens, books and pa
pers, hither and thithcr in wild confu-
sion. The noise was none of the
slightest, and Miss Greystock, the
housekeeper, alarmed by it, came rush.
ing into the room.
Good gracious, Mr. Norton what
is the matter :"
"Nothing, marm-nothing of con-
sequence. | happened accidentally
to upset the table. | was in the
midst Of scientific revery, and had
entirely forgotten myself in the alb.
struSe speculations."
"Ah, my dear sir, when will you
leave off these philosophic moods ?
They are injuring your brain, sir;
and it's my opinion they'll be the
death of you yet, if nothing else
aint.
"No doubt of it, Miss Greystock-
no doubt-not the least; thank you,
marin, returned Mr.. Norton, still re-
volving his new idea. "And while we
are speaking of myself, | would ask
if you think | am very old looking
man ?"
"My goodness, sir why do you
ask? Your mirror must assure you
that you look about twenty-five"
Ala do look as young as that T?
Do |, Miss Greystock e? Well, of all
thingsl Thank you, Miss Greystock
-marm-thank you. | always knew
you was woman of discernment.
How old are you? May l inquire ?"
Indeed, sir. I-I-about twenty
four, sir"
"Twenty.four' One year younger
than appear, eh? Well. now, TWEEN
ty-four is good age to marry, Miss
Greystock-very good. Why don't
you try it, marm?"
81 might ask the same question of
you, sir p returned the lady. little
tartly.
$50 you might, by George! But
wait few days, and then, maybe, Til
be better prepared to answer. | wish
you good morning, Miss Greystock-
d very good morning, marm." And
the courteous Norton bowed her from
the apartment.
"Miss Greystock is a fine woman
a remarkably fne woman" soliloquiz
. ed Mr.. Norton-"and she makes cap.
ital pudding. Her birds nest pudding
is a marvel; admire it. But then
a wife's would be better. I'll write
that advertisement forthwith. Delays
at my time of life, are dangerous
Let me see--how shall | word it ?"
Mr.. Nor1on scratched his head fol
a fortunate suggestion, and after a
half hours work he produced the fol
lowing: