The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-08-10
HE KNEW HE WAS FRIGHT
BY ANTHONY TRoLLoPE.
Continued.1
CHAPTER LXXXlV.
SELF SACRIFICE.


CHAPTER LXXXlV.
sELF-sACEIFICE.
Treyelyan, when his wife had left him,
sat for hours in silence ponderipg over
his own position and hers. He had taken
his child to an upper room, in which
was his own bed and the boys cot, and
before he seated himself, he spread out
various TOYS which he had been at pains
to purchase for the unhappy little
fellow-a regiment of g Garibaldians
soldiers, all with red shirts, and
a drum to give the regiment martial
spirits, and a soft, fluffy Italian ball,
and battle-dOor and shuttlecock--ln-
struments enough for juvenlleJoy II only
there had been companion with whom
the child could use them. But the toys
remained where the father had placed
them, almost UNDECIDED, and the child
sat looking ont of the window, melan-
choly, silent, and represscd. Even the
drum did not tempt him to be noisy.
Doubtless he did not know why he was
wretched, but he was fully conscious OF
his Indebtedness. In the meantime the
father sat mo less, in al old worn out
but once handsome leaJheIn armchair,
with his eyes fixed against the OPP
posite wall, thinking of the wreck OF his
life.
Thought deep, correct, continued, and
energetic is quite compatible with mad
ness. At this time Trevelyan's mind
was SO far unhinged, his ordinary
faculties were 80 greatly impaired, that
thew who declared him to be mad were
justified in their declaration. His con
dition was such that the happiness and
welfare of no human being-uot even
his own-could safely be intrusted 10
bis keeping. lie considered himself TO
have been so injured by the world. 30
have been the victim Of so cruel con-
spiracy among those who ought TO have
been his friends, that there remained
nothing for him but to flee away from
them aud remain in solitude. But yet,
through it all, there was something APP
preaching to o conviction that he had
brought his misery upon himself by be-
ing unlike TO other men; aud he dc.
clared 10 himself over aud over again
that it was better that he should suffer
than that others should be punished.
When he was alone his reflections re
speeding his wife were much Juster
than were his words when be spoke
either with her, or TO others, of her con-
drct. He would declare to himself not
only that he did not believe her TO have
been false to him, but that he had never
accused her Of such crime. He had de
manded from her obedience, and she had
been disobedient. IL had been incuIa-
bent upon him-s0 ran his own Ideas
as expressed 70 himself in these long
unspokeu sOliloquIes-to exact obedi'
ence, or al least compliance, let the con
sequences he what they might. She had
refused 10 obey or even to comply, and
the consequences were very gCicvous.
But, though he piticd himself with a
pity that was feminine, yet he acknOwl
edged to himself that her conduct had
been the result of his own moody tenn
permanent. Every friend had parted
from him. All those TO whose counsels
he had listened, had counselled him
that he was wrong. The whole world
was against him. Had he remained In
England, the doctors and lawyers
among them would doubtless have de-
clared him to be mad. He knew all this,
and yet he could not yield. He conld
not say that he had been wrong. He
could not even think that he had been
wrong as to the cause of the great quar-
rel He was one so miserable aud so
unfortunate-so he thought-that even
in doing right he had fallen into perdi
ton!
lie had had two enemies, and between u
them they had worked his ruin. These
were Colonel Osborne aud Bozzle. 1t
may be doubted whether he did not
hate the latter the more strongly of the
two. He knew now that Bozzle had
bsen untrue 10 him, but his disgust did
not spring from that so much as from
the feeling that he had ietilcd himself
nv dealing with the man. Though ht
was quite assured that be had been right
in mis- first cause of otfense, he knew
that he had fallen from bad TO worse il
every step that he had taken since
Colonel Osborne had married his happi
ness by vanity, by wicked intrigue, 10y
a devilish delight in doing mischief
but he-he himself-haG consummatet
the evil by his own folly. Why had h
not taken Colonel Osborne by the throat
Instead of going to low born, VIE
merceuary spy for assistance! lit
hated himself for what he had done
and yet it was impossible that he shoulC
yield.
1t was impossible that he should yield
but 1t was yet open to him TO sacrifice
himself. He could not go back TO his
vile and say that he was wrong; but he
cou'd Determine that the destruction
should TALL upon him and not upon her
II he gave up his child and then died
died, alone, without any friend neal
him, with no word of love in his ears
in that solitary and miserable abod,
which he had found for himself-thep i,
would at lea tbo acknow edged that he
had expiated the injury that he ba,
done. She would have his wealth, hi
name, his child TO comfort her-au,
would be troubled no longer by de
mands for that obedience which she ha,
sworn at the altar to give hun. an
which she had since declined to rende
to him. Perhaps there was some feelln
that the Goals Of fire would be hot ueo
her head when she should think ho'
much she had received from him an
how little she had done for him. An
yet he loved her, with all his heart m