Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-07-10
A Strange Marriage.
BY AN FRESHMAN.

ing al ever. SO, no wonder she still
remained unmarried.
Lady G. had about five thousand
pounds in the world. She eued
about forty thousand pounds.
Now, in the time [ speak OF. every
lady had her head dressed by a bar
Der, aud that barber was the hand
soonest barber in the city OF London.
Pat Philan was Il great admirer of
the fair Sex; and where's the Won
der Shure Pat was an Irishnlsn.
Ii WAS one fine morning whom Phil
an was dressing her most ca pit waiting
head, that her ladyship took IL into
her mind to tsalk " him, and Pat was
Well pleased, for Lady C's teeth were
the whitest, and her smiles the
brightest ia all tie world
$50 you are not married, Pat.
said she
"Never an inch your honor's lady
ship" said he.
And wouldn't you like to be
married ?" again asked she.
Would duck SWIM
"Is there any one you'd prefer pa
"Maby, Madame" said lac, you
never heard of Kathleen O'Reiiy,
down beyond Donerall Her fathers
cousin To O'Donaghow who's own
stewart to Mr.. Murphy, the under
| agent To my Lord Kings ton, and"
| Hush says she "shure | don't
| want to know who she il. But would
she have you if YOU ask her?n
| "Ah, thin, I'd only wish ia be
| after trying that same"
And why don't you:"
| "Shure, Pm too poor" And Phil
| an heaved a prodigious sigh.
| Would you like to bc rich -
| Docs a dog bark 20
| "If | make you rich viii you do as
| tell you ~
"MilIe-murther your honor, don I
| be tantiiiZing a poor boy ?n
| Indeed, 1 am not, said Lady {.
| $50 listen. How would You like to
| marry me ?''
| "Ah, thin, my lady, the King OF
Russia himself would be proud to- do
that same, lave alone poor devil
like Pat Philan."
| morrow III give you one thousand
pounds"
go, whilabalOo ! whilabaloou shure
I'm mad, or enchanted by the good
Ipeople," roared Fat, dancing around
the room.
But there are conditions, - saws
LadyC." After the firstday of our nup-
tails you must never see me again or
claim me as your wife,
81 don't like that, +" said Pat, for lac
had been ogling her ladyship most
desperately.
"Rut remember Kathleen O'Reily
| With the money I'll give you, you
may go and mary her"
THAT. thrue,n says he. But
thin, the bigamy ,"
"Ili never appear against you,
says her laiyship. ''But then you
| must take ana oath never to call me
your wife after tomorrow, ana never
to go telling all the story
"Nivsr "A word III liver say"
"Well them" says she, there's ten
pounds. Go and buy license. and
leave the rest to me-" and then she
/ explained To hini where he WAS to- go
and whom he was to come, ana all
that.
| The next day Pat was true to his
appointment and found the gentle.
men already with her ladyship.
'Have you got tho license ?n says
she.
Here it il, my lady" says he, and
lie gave it To her. She handed it I.
one of the young gentlemen, VIII,
viewed ii very attentively. Then
calling to her two servants, she
turned To the young gentleman who
| was reading.
And, 'shure enough, in ten min
utes Pat Pkilan was the husband the
legal husband, of the lovely Lady
&c.
THAT will DO" says she t. heI
husband, ns lac gave her hearty
kiss ''that'il do. Now, sir, give
me my marriage certificate" The old
gentleman did SO, and bowling re-
specifically 10 the five pound note she
gave him, retired with his clerk fol
shure enough, L forgot To tell you
that he was "A parson.
"Go and bring me the warden, D
says my lady to one "a her servants
"Ies, my lady, says ho : aud pre-
seutly the warden appeared.
"Wiil YOU be coed enough, d
| SAID Lady C., IN voice that would
call IL bird oil IA tree, will you bs
good enough 10 send aud fetch me u
hackney coach l wish to leave this
prison immediately.
"Nour lady ship forgets, F." sepiied
he, THAT Sou must pay forty Thousand
pounds before | can lot Sou so.n
| II ain IA married " oIsIan Iou can
detlin my husband but noI me-
| And she smiled at Philau, who be
gan rather to dislike the appearance
of things.
Pardon me, Lady it is well
| known you are single"
Il tell you 1 am married.
| "Where'S your husband 2''
| - here, sir !" and she pointed to
the astonished barber. "1hcre lac
stands, here is my marriage certih-
cate, which You can peruse At your
leisure. My servants youder were
| witnesses Ia the ceremony. Now de-
| tain me at YOU peril"
1 The warden was dunbfounded, and
no wonder. Poor philan would have
spoken, but neither party would let
him. The lawyer below was con
| suited. The result was evident. In
half an hour Lady &. was free, and
| Pat fhiian, her Legitimate husband
| a prisoner for debt Ia the amount of
| forty thousand pounds.
| Well sir, for some time Pat though [
| he was in a dream, and the creditors
| thought they We're still worse. The
| following day they had a meeting,
| and finding how they had been trick
+, cd, swore they'd detain poor Pat for
ever. But as they we'll know he
had nothing, ana wouldn't feel much
shame in going through the Iusol vent
Court, they made the best of IA bad
bargain ami let him 20.
Well, you must know, about a
week after this, Paddy Philau was sit
ting by his little fire, and thinking
over tho wonderful things he had
seen, when as sure as death, The
pa.tplap hropuht him "A lattar tn.