Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1869-03-12
aiseellamu.
A lie Well Stuck to.
BY HENRY WARD BEEoHER.

In the nursery time of our life, lies OF
small magnitude we called stories," and
we have sadly learned since, that stories
are very often lies and grotesque sto-
ryan odd or funny one-is destined, if
one may say so, to short Immortality.
Many stories that have been walking
up and down the earth since the flood,
are told to-day of living public men, as
undoubted and veritable history. Many
standing jokes are traceable to the Middle
Ages, they re-appear in Roman history,
and may be found again in old Greek
anthologies, and probably the Greeks
borrowed them from yet older people,
and they from the antediluvians. Itadds
to the relish of these primitive Joe Mil
lers to hear them recited by some inno-
cent friend, with guarantee, I know
this story is true, for it happened to Dea-
con Blossom, in my native town, and l
was present !" And here arises very
curious question, which Prof Porter, in
his recent admirable treatise on Mental
Philosophy, seems to have investigated
in a manner not worthy of his usual
thoroughness-the question, we mean,
whether man can remember a thing
which never happened to him ?
AT first sight any one will say he can
not. But such a judgment will force a
great many good men and women into
gulf of fbs. Either people can ndistinct-
ly remember what never happened to
them, or else the standard and staple
jokes of society are sustained by false
witnesses.
We draw back from such an unchar-
table construction, and avow our belief
that under peculiar conditions man
may remember, distinctly, not only what
never happened to him, but things that
never happened at all
A case in our history shall illustrate
this matter. Some eighteen or nineteen
years ago, soon afterour coming to Brook
lyn, we heard the following story told of
the now venerable DIR. Samuel Cox, the
father of many brilliant sayings, as well
as of Bishop Cox, of western New York.
The story ran thus son Sunday
morning in August, DIR. Cox, rising to
the sermon, without warning or nrafx.
began, 1t is id hot" Looking
around in calm and pious way, he wip-
ed his forehead, and again said, " 1t is
id hot" Waiting until he thought
the words had burnt in, he proceeded,
" These words, my brethren, l heard from
the lips of profane young man as L en-
tered the doors of the church" There
upon, the story goes, he proceeded to
give an edifying discourse on the sin and
folly Of profane swearing"
When we first heard it, we recognized
the story. 1t was an old acquaintance.
1t had been doing service in England
1t was told of Rev. Rowland Hill, only
in his case, the topic was not the weather,
but the theatre, on which the young mans
profanity was expended. But stock sto-
ries, like couriers, like to change horses.
Before we knew it the saddle was shifted
to our back, nor have we ever been able
to shake it off. We have denied it,
twice in print, many times by letter, and
hundred times in conversation, all in
vain. The saddle sticks and every month
we find new fool riding in it. 1t turns
up in newspapers periodically. 1t runs
the rounds of neighborhoods. Some peo-
pie are delighted with the smartness of
it, and would walk fifty miles to hear
that man preach )" and others are shock
ed at such impiety, and mournfully shak
ing their heads, declare that it would be
" breaking Sunday to hear such fellow
preach"
The story was sent to us from England,
our name and all. We saw it in
California paper. 1t has been travelling
and swearing in France and Germany
though we don't understand a profane
word in either language,-and if that
Yankee Chinaman, Mr.. Burlingame,
would only tell the truth, we believe that
he has seen the very story, my name and
all, crooked up and grinning in those ce-
lestial hieroglyphics which adorn tea
chests and Chinese pictures. Indeed,
it is like to be the chief memorial of our
life. We are informed that in outer
most places, on hearing our name, men
say, "Ah, yes, we know him That's
the man that said, It's id hot ="
What is to be done Here is mild
and we'll behaved minister, with a story
fixed on him that he cannot unbuckle,
not cut, nor unite, nor rub off. Alas I!
is this the punishment of some of our