The Van Buren press., 1869-10-19
Artemus Wards " Panorama.
Choice Extracts

Artemus Wards Panorama.
Choice Extracts
We make the following extracts from
Artemus Wards Panerama," just pub
lished in London:
MS ARTISTIC CAREER.
IcouA draw on wood at o very tender
age. When mere child, ence drew
small CARLOAD Of raw turnips over a
wooden bridge. The people Of the vii.
lagc noticed me. ! drew their attention.
They said had future before me. Up
to that time ! had an idea..that it was be
hind me.
Time passed on. 1t always does. by
the way. You may possibly have noticed
that time always does. 1t is a kind OF
way time has.
i became man. haven't distinguish
ed myself at all as an artist; but have
always been more or less mixed up with
art. have an uncle who takes photo
graphs, and j have . servant who-takes
anything he can get his hands on.
HIS MUSICAL IDEAS.
like music. can't sing. As sing
ist / am not success. l am saddcst
when l sing. SO arc those who are near
me. They are sadder even than ! am
The other night some silver-voieed
young mon came under my widow and
sang Come where my love lies dream
ing" didn't go. didn't think it was
correct.
found music very soothing when
lay i'll with fever in Utah and was very
III; / was fearfully wasted. Ny face was
hewn down to nothing, and my nose was
SO sharp didn't dare stick it into other
peoples busincss--for fear it would stay
there and ] should never get 1t again.
And in those dismal days q Mormon lady
she was married, though not 80 much
so as her husband; he had fifteen other
wivcs-she used to sing a ballad COM
msncing, "swcct bird, do net Ny away"
and told her would not. She played
the accordeon divinsly--accorde0nly ]
praised her.
THE STEAMER ARIEL.
/ went to California on the steamer
Ariel This 10 the steamer Ariel.
Oblige me by calmly gazing ION the
steamer Ariel; and when you 90 to Cal.
ifornia be sure and 60 on some other
steamer, because the Ariel isn't very
good one.
THE PICTURE OF THE GREAT DEsERT.
This picture is 4 great work ofart. 1t
is all oil painting done in petroleum, 1t
is by the old masters. 1t was the last
thing they did before dying. They did
this and then they expired
The most celebrated artists in London
are so delighted with this picture that
they come to the hall every day TO gaze
at It. wish you were nearer to it--so
you could see 1t better. wish ] could
take it to your residences, and let you see
1t by daylight Seine Of the greatest ar
fists come here every morning before day
light with lanterns to look at it. They
say they never saw anything like 1t DO,
forc-and they hope they never shall
again.
When | first showed this picture in
New York, the audience were 80 enthusi-
astic in admiration of this picture that
they called fer the artist--and when he
appeared they throw brickbats at him.
BRIGHAM YOUNG,
Brigham Young has two hundred wives
Just think Of that. Obligs me by think.
ing sf that That is--he has eighty act
ual wives and he is spiritually married to
one hundred and twenty more. SO we
say he has two hundred wives. lie loves
not wisely, but two hundred well lie Is
drcadfully married. Il He's the most mar
ried man ! ever saw in my life.
] saw his mother in.law while l was
there. can't exactly tell you how many
there is Of her, but it's good geal. 1t
strikes me that Gone motherin.law is
about enough to have in one fanlily--un.
less you're very fond OF excitement.
EoRMoN PRosgLYTisM.
! regret to say that efforts were made
to make Mormon Of me while was In
Utah.
1t was leap year when l was there, and
seventeen young widows, the wives Of
deceased Mormon, offered me their hearts
and hands. / called on them one day,
and taking their soft bite hands in mine,
which made eighteen hands together, !
found them in tears.
And l said: Why is thusl What is
the reason Of this business Z" tse.l
They hove eigh, seventeen sghs Of
different size. They said:
"Oh! soon thou wilt be gonested
away" ~
! told them when l got ready to leave
a place, j wcntestcd.
They said: Doth not like usT'
also said 81 doth, I DOTH"
i also said: "I hope your intentions
are honorable, as ! am lone child, my
parents being far. far away"
Then they said "Wilt not marry us z"
/ said: "Oh mo! It cannot WAS"
Again they asked me to marry them,
aud again l declined, when they cried:
"Oh! cruel man this is too much
Oh too much =
! told them that it was on account Of
the muchncss that declined
BRIonAM YouXG's FAMILY.
The last picture l have to show you
represents MIR. Brigham Young in the
bosom Of his family. His family is large,
and the olive branches around his table
a ,a In . ,or,, tauo1al aavl,t;z,, IL IL