The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-02-25
LITERAL ANSWERS.

|
A lecturer in Portland. Maine, or some
where else, was explaining to a little girl
how lobster casts his shell when he had
oGtgrown it. Said he:
"What do you do when you have out
grown your clothess You cast them
aside, do you not 90
"Oh, no." replied the little one, sswe
let out the tucks''
:. Again, teacher was explaining TO a
ii''le sirl the meaning of the word cuticle.
| nat Is thai oil over my face and
hands % said he ''--0
sits freckles, SIR" answered the n.,la
cherub.
An answer of similar character is of
ten the result of a hard word.
"William," said a mother to her son,
who had already eaten a very considera-
BILE amount of dinner, 81 don't know
whether you can eat this pudding with i'm
punity-"
"Well, may be not, said William, 81
think l would rather have a spoon"
A lady noticed boy sprinkIing salt on
the sidewalk to take off the ice, and re-
marked to friend, pointing to the salt:
''Now that's true bcneyolence.'
'No 1t ain'r' said the boy, somewhat
indignant, Sits salt"
So when lady asked her servant girl
if the hired man had cleared of the snow
with alacrity, She replied:
''No, ma'am, he used Shovel
The same literal turn of mind which
have been illustrating is somewhat used
Intentionally and perhaps a little mali
ciously, and thus becomes fha property of
wits, instead of blundcrers. Thus we hear
of very polite and impressive gentle
man who said to youth in the street:
'Buy, may inquire where Robinso on's
drug sore is 2"
Certainly, sir" said Tie BOY, very re-
spectfuly.
''lNell, SIR" said the gentleman, after
waiting awhile, "where is it %
Il have not the leaet idea, your honor"
said the urchin.
There was another boy who was ac-
costed by an ascetic middle aged lady
with;
''Boy, want to go to Dover street,
''Well, ma'au1," said the boy, ''why
don't you go there then ?''
One day on Lake George a party of
gentlemen trolling among the beautiful
islands of the lake with rather bad luck
espied little fellow with red shirt and
old straw hat, dangling line over the
side of the boat
"Hallo, boy" said one of them, "what
are you doing -
Fishing" came the answer.
"Well, of course" said the gentleman,
''but what do you catch p
''Fish, you fool, what do you spose p
''Did any of you ever see an elephants
skin 7" inquired teacher of an infant
class
81 have" exclaimed one.
''Nhere ?'' asked fhe teacher.
son the ELEPHANT said the boy laugh
ing.
Sometimes this sort of wit degenerates
or rises, as the case may be, into pun-
ming, as when Flora pointed pensively to
the heavy masses of Ctends in the sky.
saying
'iI wonder where those clouds are 90
irg;" and her brother replied:
81 think they are going 70 thunder >
Also as the following dialogue
"Hello, there! how do you sell your
wood %
t'By the eerd.''
''How long has it been cut?
''Four feet"
81 near how long has It been sirce
you cut it p
$40 longer than it is now -
And also, as when Patrick O'Flynn
was seen with his collar and bosom sadly
begrimmed and was Indignantly asked by
his officer
''Patrick O'Flynn, how long do you
wear shirt ?"
FsTwenty- -eight inches, sir.''
This reminds me of an incident which
is said to have occurred recently in Chat~
ham street, New York, where a countrys
man was clamerously besieged by shop |
keeper.
'f7ave you any fine shirts J" said the
countryman.
"a splendid assortment, sir. Slep in,
sir. Every price and every style. The
cheapest in the market, SIR
''Are they clean o.
''Fo be sure. sir.''
''Then," said the countryman, with
great gravity, ''you had better put one on
for you need it,"
Wit is said to excite an agreeable SUR
prise / fear the surprise here was not |
agreeable to one of the parties but it
was wit nevertheless.
We were sitting in our sanctum, not |
knowing what to write, when the door |