The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-10-18
Home Reading.

The Quaker loves the ocean for its
broad brim.
We should not forget that life flower,
which is no sooner fully blown than il
begins TO wither.
Mercy is the fairest letter in Jehoysh's
name, aud love is the noblest Attribute OF
his nature. rtg .,l,g s.r ,
La.iness is the right and proper n,mo
for uine-teuths Of tue excuses given for
bad farming, r IT,
Nj. simms says il it wasn't for tho
hole in tue hoop, you couldn't put il On
the barrel, and the barrel would burst.
The maxim "Strike when h tho iron is
hot" is getting altogether too slow for
the age-you must make il hot by stri-
king,
A politician in Wisconsin, having
written long letter explaining his posi-.
tier, an adversary epitomizes it thus
III have done anything lam sorry fss
nm glad Of it,"
A son Of q western clergyman excused
himself for pack Of cards which fell
from his pocket during bis valedic.ory by
saying be had his fathers coat on. Il
q The mechanic who bent himself to bis
task has been very round-shouldcred ever
since. r,ef.
II you run for luck, make vide mar.
gin in which to tumble and stumble:
There is so much adulteration 10 what
wa eat and drink that most articles, Of
consumption have to b taken on trust,
and treated as Articles Of Faith.
A drunken man ia Dayton, q few days
ago, made desperate attempt to keep on
the footpa,h, but failed. Al last be
started out Into the street, saying-
"Thcre, uow ! 60 in tue street L You
want top
Can you tell me how old the devil
is 2" asked an irrevcrent fellow of,a clsr-
gyman. "My friend, you must keep
your own family record" was the reply.
Instead Of saying that . man 10
eight" iu Chicago, the, reporters say
that he is "a victim of bacchiau,aalian im.
mo deratiou." 2pi}s lEi.f slpilif93 ffa'
/ e.
A mau attempted to spell orookesr;y tho
other day, and proceeded in this way
"Kraughkearreighe," but expired before
he could make ~" with which be in
tended to end the word. Spasms from
over-exertion killed him. ~ sggsf
"Wai.er,' said fastidious gentleman,
exhibiting curious looking object on The
soup.ladle-"Waiser, do you know what
that is?Y That, sir, looks like 1 mouse
sir. We often find them in the soup,
sir. No extra charge, sir" III
Some congregations seem to be partic-
ular as to their preacher. Oao Of lheso
gave public notice that they wanted q
preacher, but vent on to specify that, be-
sides being good christian, he must
have good moral character.
If you carve upa turkey, and it should
be tough, aud slip of thu dish through
your awkwardness, and il falls into q Ia.
dy's lap, i is rcckoned polite to msks
bow, and say, please, ma'am, may
trouble you for that turkey again q
Auorator, who had raised his audi.
ence to great heigh. BY his lofty soar.
Jugs, exclaimed, ~ will now close initho
beautiful and expressive language Of tho
poet forget bis name-and-I forget
what hc said, too"
Patrick said a priest to an 1risb.
man, ''how much hay did you steal!n
"Well," replied Pat, II may As we'll
confess to yer ri7erence for tie ~lolo
stack, for my wife aud l arc going "a take
the. res. oft on the first dark night."' r.'
A little two.year old found dead
mouse in trap 10 the back yard, aud
taking itup in her chubby little hand,
ran into her grandmother and held it up.
saying---"O grandma, here's little
mouse just gone to ia heovenly father
"C.c-can that PIP. parrot t.t.tsr.talk ~
asked suffering man Of Dutchman.r
"Supposc he no can talk so mocle better
us that wha. you talk, I chop hts dam
head oG," was tho reply. 4, ..so
DICKENS says II have known vast
quantities Of nonesense, talked about bud
tiion not looking you In The face. Don't
rust that conversational idea. Dishonssty
will stare honesty out Of countenapco any
day the week, ifthcre is anything u be
goi byitSaR ndvia ~ 81 rrl
The areside Is school ofinsnits la.
portanco. II is important because |. Is
universal, and becnuss the education IL
bestows, being woven ID with Tho woofof
childhood, gives form and color ,o the
whole texture OF life. al. .Tt... ..l
A Montreal Judge decides that Hud.
son Bay fur traders. who marry squaws
Oh the European plan. aud lAvo children
BY them. are legally married. This Is
interesting to large number Of Canadi-
nus who have left the fur country. q
/ Sxy -