North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-03-17
Gee. w. IIaislett, late Editor of the De.
corah Register, humorously bids farewell
to his readers thusly:

OCc. !" :. AAuioiCttJ Autc IIuAtOi VI lno Dc
corah Register, humorously bids farewell
to his readers thusly:
"Let's Die Together"
Two printers once ate up the editor
steak he had prepared for an evening
lunch-the editor made them believe he
had poisoned the meat for the purpose ol
killing wolves that haunted him o. nights
after eating all the tallow candles in
the Office; drinking all the press-grease,
and devouring all the soap. grease in the
house of the editor, they clasped each
other in ono long, deathlike embrace, and
exclaimed, Lets die together p
We'er mostly, somSwhatly, somely in
the same fix. We want to die with some
body-we don't care which or who-we're
in for "shulflin' off this mortal keil''-
we're pizcned-old ''raw- head and bloody
homes" is after us-thc gigantic, pom
derous, red>headed. massive, powerful,
mighty, "grccn back" lined, huge, ic-
crepid, scrofulus, scourging, crooked,
fre>eating devils arc after us-"ten mil.
lion cubic miles Of head, ten billion
leagues of tall are on our track, asd
with one grand yet terrific swoop will
pluck from our noble brow the last green
sward that graces our "top-knot." See
Sherilf's Sales in another column.
''Once upon MD night dreary, when
the Buzzards hootcd quccrly, caue a
knocking, knocking drcarly, at our holy
Sanctum door. "Who's there?' said we,
in tones historic "Tis l." voice said,
'I'm the Sheriff, knocking at your Sane
tum door!''
Obeying the Scriptural injunction-be-
lieving the fellow was in earnest-we
"opened unto him. as he had 'knocked."
lie entered, and in solemn and feeling
manner, 1--WE at first supposed he was feet
ing for his pistol read to us-Sheriff's
Sales in another column.
Our nervous system was ,ciltcd, as if
some superhumam, powerful, paralytic
panic had stricken US amidships-we felt
as though great gigantic and ponderous
chunk of ginger bread, had fallen upon
our sorest corn--and, falling asleep, we
dreamed we were Nasty, at the X Roads,
and was quarreling about the Post Office
with Baily-tlen we'd been elected to an
important Office and was shuflliag out the
School Fund, to our friends-then we
were whole Board Of Supervisors striving
to retrench by taking the County printing
away from everybody and finally ;.woke
at gentle tap Of the Deputy Sheriff, who
us that besides wanting all we
possessed in property, he had an order for
us in person. This seooned US again.
This time our thoughts ran in different
we were p. NJ, sure, and besides
this little fat take, we'd been promoted to
q mighty Lawyer; concluded that we
owned most of this earth and was in law
about the balance-we ordered men hung
ut discretion, deficd the authorities and
ok the Sheriff and Deputy into our
special charge. At this period scream
for copy aroused us to consciousness and
our old ''stand by'' handed us a proof
sheet Of
Sheriff Sales in another column.
This concern is-probably-owncd by
j. p. Kennedy, Deacon Francis, John L.
Clark & Co., ct a., McChcsny, Skofstad,
his Deputy and US. This latter firm, the
Shcrins and as, have tried to run the
machine to please our readers and profit
have failed on the proft,
and from slight indications (See Sheriff
Salcs) it would appear to those Of sound
mind and good digestive organs that
somebody else will ere long take hold of
the reins of government, in the capacity
of editor, boss and devil. $50 mote it be-"
ave have done the State some service
when you speak of us, speak of us as
we are-nothing extenuate, nor aught set
down in malice
Ste Sheritfs Sales in another column