The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-11-28
The Moan MnR Who Got Converted.
BY THE "FAT CONTRIBUTORS.

BY THE PAT CONTRIBUTOR"
There was great revival in the region
where Old Shnithers, as everybody called
him, lived, and il took hold Of him one
day. Smithers was O dreadful mean
man, oppressive to the poor and oil that,
and never paying debt if he could help
it, He had been known to turn q poor
widow with family of small children
out into the street of cold winters day,
because she was unable to pay tho rent
of the miserable shanty she had of him.
He was only known as "Old Smithers, 4"
although he wasn't 80 very old either,
but We have noticed that mean men have
the prefix "Old" attached to their names,
generally, when their neighbors speak of
them.
Old Smithors "took habit" as they
say in Wisconsin, to attend one of the
''protracted meetings" He was struck
with conviction the first night and hope
fully converted, as he claimed, the next.
After his conversion he was announced
to address his fellow-sinners and sinner
esses on the following Sunday after
noon. The news that Old Smithers had
got religion spread all about the neigh
borhood. Some doubted it; said he was
putting it OH 30 as to skin folks little
closer; others, more charitable, said it
might be true, and they hoped he would
not be so mean in the future, if it was.
When Sunday afternoon arrived the
church was crowded. The entire neigh
borhood turned out to hear what SO mean
q man as Old Smithers would say for
himself after passing through conviction
and conversion. All was still in the
church when Old Smithers arose to speak.
He began by telling what mean man
he had been all his life He said he had
probably done more mean things than
any man of his years and opportunities
living. and if there was any mean thing
he had failed to do, it was either because
he hadn't thought of it, or there was no
good chance. After going somewhat
into detail regarding his meanness, as
tonishing even those who thought they
knew him best with the recital, and de-
clnring his utter unworthiness, he re-
sumed his seat.
There WAS brief pause, after which n
neighbor of Old Smithers, n member of
the church, arose and said: "Ihave lived
nigh neighbor to Brother Smithers for
long timo. I have just listened to
Brother Smithers' remarks, and from an
intimate acquaintance with him aud his
actions for many years, am prepared to
indorse, in the fullest manner, all the
charges he has made against himself, and
moro too. He is certainly the meanest
man ever knew in the whole course of
my life'-and sat down.
Then arose Old Smithers, pale and
trembling with rage and exclaimed: "Its
lie, and I'll whip you as soon as you
leave the church"
----------->-s -
AN IMPERIAL MORMON. Emperor
of China is fifteen years old, and is to be
married this year, with immense pomp,
to his first and chief wife, his Empress.
He will be simultaneously provided with
second and third wives; and from all
parts of the Empire victims are being
collected to swell the lists of his harem.
Every Tartar family, we believe, is
obliged to contribute its quota. Local
selections are frat made. and the holo.
canst is sent to Pekin. where fresh Sc
lection takes place. and "chosen" mum
Der are condemned to live-lope
seclnsion. They are not allowed to see
their relations; may never 800 their iorG
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