The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-10-01
How Smith Asked the Old Man.

Us.
1t therefore became absolutely neccs-
saty to get the old gentleman's permis-
sion, so, as Smith said, the arrange.
ments might be made to hop the con.
jugal twig.
Smith said he'd rather pop the inter.
rogatory to all of old Thompson's
daughters, and his sisters, and his lady
cousins, and his aunt Hannah, in the
country, and the whole of his family re-
lations, than ask old Thompson. But
it had to be done, and so he sat down
and studied out speech which he was
to disgorge at old Thompson the very
first time he got a shy at him. So Smith
dropped in on him one Sunday even
ing, when all the family had mean.
dered around to meeting, and found
him doing sum In beer measure
"How are you, Smith ?" said old
thompson, as the former walked In,
white as piece of chalk and trembling
rs If he had swallowed q condensed
earthquake. Smith was afraid to an
swer, cause he waen't sure about that
speech. He knew he had to keep his
grip on 1t while he had il there, or it
would slip from him quicker than an
oiled eel through an augur hole. So he
blurted out
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps 1t may
not be unknown to you, that during
an extended period of some five years,
l have been busily engaged In the
prosecution Of commercial enter
prise"
SIS that so, and keepin' it secret all
this time, while 1 thought you were
tendin' store? Well, by George, you're
one OF them now, amt you?'
Smith had begun to think it all over
again to get the run it.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it NAV
not be unknown to you that during the
extended period of five years, have
been bnsily engaged in the prosecution
OF commercial enterprise, with the de.
termination to secure Il sufficient main
tcnanco--"
"Sit down, Smith, and help yourself
to beer. Don't stand there holdin'
you hat, like blind beggar, with pa
rajysis. l never have seen you be-
have yourself so queer in all my born
days."
Smith had been knocked out again,
and SO he had to wander back again and
take fresh start,
MIR. Thompson sir: 1t may not be
unknown to you,t during an extend
ed period of five years, have boen en-
gagged in the prosecution of CONNER
cial enterprise, with the determine
tion to procure a sufficient mainte-
nance"
"A which ance?'. asked old Thomp-
son; but Smith held on to the last
word rs if it was his only chance, and
went on:
"In the hope that some day / might
enter wedlock, and bestow my earthly
possessions upon one whom / could call
my own. l have been lonely man
sir, and have felt that it is not good
for man to be alone;therefore would"
"Neither is it, Smith Pm glad
you dropped in. How's the old man?"
"Mr. Thompson, SIR" said Smith, in
despairing confusion, raising his voice to
yell, sit may not be unknown to you
that,during an extended period ofa lone
~ man, have been engaged to enter
wedlock ,and bestowed all my enterprise
on one whom could determine to be
good for certain Professionalism L mean
that is-that-Mr. Thompson, sir; it
may not be unknown"
"And then, again, it may. Look
here, Smith you'd better lay down
and take something warm-you amt
| WELL"
Smith swearing like four-year old
| colt, went in again.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be
lonely to you to prosecute me whom
you friend, for a commercial mainten-
ance, but-but-but eh dang it Mr..
Thompson, sir: It"
"Oh, Smith, you talk like IL fool. |
never seen first-class idiot in the course
OF my whole life. What's the matter
with you, anyhow ?"
"Mr. Thompson, sir" said Smith, in
an agony of bewiderment, sit may not
be known that you prosecute | a lonely
man who is not good for commercial
period OF wcdlock for some five years,
but
'See here, Mr.. Smith, you're drunk,
and IL you can't behave better than
that, you'd better leave; if you don't,
III chuck you out, or Pm a Dutch
man."
"Mr. Thompson, sir" said Smith,
frantic with despair, sit may not be
unknown to you that my carly posses
sions are engaged to enter wedlock five
years with sufficient lonely man, who
Is not good for a commercial main.
teance-"
"The very deuce he isn't. Now
you jist git up and git, or Ill knock
what little brains out OF you you've got
left"
With that, old Thompson took Smith
ana shot him into the street as If he'd
run him against locomotive, going out
at the rate OF forty miles an hour. Be-
fore old Thompson had time to shuttle
front door, Smith collected his legs and
one thing and another that were lying
around on the pavement arranged him.
self in vertical position, and yelled
out: