The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-01-13
A RADICAL pERpLExIrY AND TAILS.

unity, and the doctrine of the diversity O
human origin, as held by respective schools
OF natural philosophers There is nothing
surprising in this dissatisfaction. The truth il
that the Radicals are SO radically wrong in al
their notions that they instinctively reject the
deductions of every philosophy which does
not begin by setting dogma above ascertained
facts. The Tribune is consistent, therefore
in denouncing the development theory as
elaborated by Darwin. For, according to
this theory, the tender-hearted Greeley
whose single quarrel is the one which he
daily carries on with the Almighty fol-
not resigning in his favor SO
that the world should be governed on
more humane principles, may be at this mo-
ment no more than an interesting though
| erotesque development from some ancestral
crocodile which wallowed and wept, thou
sand million years ago, among nilotic marsh
weeds and slime, while crunching the bones
of one of its too confding worshipers. Yet
there is nothing intrinsically improbable in
the imputation of such an ancestry. The
white-coated ''friend of humanity" has a way
of living off the credulity of the world, that
is, when we reflect upon it. suggestive with
startling force of crocodilean pedigree. But,
worse than all, according to the same theory,
the negro, for whom the Tribune claims the
highest inherent qualifications for political
supremacy, though not out of the line of pro-
gressive development indeed, and bottomed
upon the principle of predestinate develop
ment, is nevertheless incidentally nearer than
the Caucasian to the point of common bes-
TALLY from which all branches of the human
family sprung; in other words, is distant by
countless cycles of years from the stage of
superior development attained by the white
man; and consequently it must be as prepos-
ferrous to think of bringing the two upon a
plane of natural and absolute equality as to
think of rolling back the ages which have left
their tracks in the rocks and fossils since or
ganic nature was in its infancy.
But still more abhorrent to the Tribune is
the doctrine of Agassiz and other diversitari-
ans, that existing organic differences are
traceable to different origins, and that homo
geneity and equality cannot be developed
from original heterogeneity and inequality.
touch the Tribune's hobby about the pre-
OBSTINATE political majesty and glory of the
negro, is indicated in the words of that Jour-
nal when it says: "Given creature woody
headed, with low forehead, fiat nose, thick
lips, and black skin, and the deduction is
that not only is he not man, but by no pos
sibility can his progeny become men. The
doom of his degradation is remorseless and
eternal"
Well, what is to be doue about the matter
'or the consolation of Greeley and other be-
levers IN the nigIitian apotheosis we really |
'ant see. Perhaps, it would be prudent for
hem to agree to compromise with natural
philosophy upon the broad assumption, not
'nly of the bestisl origin, but of the con-
lnued and indomitable bestiality of all the
aces, varieties and nations of men. The
audal theory of Lord Monboddo would then
ONE into excellent play. He stoutly main
aimed that caudality was as natural an attri-
ute of manhood as it is of the monkey or
he kangaroo organization. The actual diff
erenee in this respect, he held was simply
wing to the fact that our ancestors wore off
heir tails by constant sitting. As Americans
re less addicted to sedentary habits than any
Their people, it follows that they will have
ne glory of being the first to resume the
ncestral appendage. Let the day hurry on.
~ we, for we are sorely' tired of these end
SIS speculations about the origin of man.
ind, vexatiously mixed up as they
re with political, moral and
geological questions. Upon the advent of
lat day the magnificent spectacle of the re-
ludalization of American freemen will break
pom the world like a revelation. The whole
rood of speculations referred to will receive
eir final quietus. They can then worry us
more. The caudal school of philosophers
III be triumphant, with no man possessing
rational mind along with the proper caudal
implement of true manhood, to say them
y. Their doctrine will be established be- '
md controversy, by the strongest of all argu- c
drg'anent1rm poSteriori. People
III cease to dispute as to which has departed t
rthest from the primeval bestial type, since I
VIII be clear that they must have |
It something by every step taken in that a
rection; that, for example, the tail was lost a
men in general in consequence of base o
bits of incubation and abrasion, and the Il
rgeous thick lips, which now only the FOR. o
nate sons of Africa can boast, we're worn 81
ay by the incessant lying which forms an Il
ential element of Caucasian civilization.
the contrary, all will be anxious to recover ..
integrity of their organisms by returning Y
the type of bestiality from which all their G,
iations started. The sentiment of equality. :,
strongest political principle, according to -
Tocqueville, which operates in modern ;;
iety, viii be satisfied, for the possibilities. -
ot the instant facts, of an equal and uni :,
n bestiality will be open to ALL T.
II course, beasts will then have all the =.
ITS of manhood. But that, considering al
the more one is a man-if white man -
more conspicuously is he the mark for the -,
nination of Radical Acknowledgement, lis 80
ay nothing for the felicitation of the crea- -