The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-01-28


kase this wedlock business. when
viewed in a philosophical light, is
nothing more than a man becoming
possessed of the insane; idea that he'd
rather pay board for two (or two doz-
en) than for one, ...-........,.-f,,sr
Now the feller has his foot in it, she
calls his attention to breach of prom
ise cases in the papers. She has him
faster than shumaker gum. Next day
she tells every gal she knows that she's
ingaged, and makes them vow they
won't say word about it. 8e-poor
cuss don't go, that fatal night, more
than half block before he knows he
has made a darned fool of himself,
and his face wears an expression like
unto a feller who has resigned himself
to taking dose of caster oil. She sets
the time and he tries to hitch il, off:
but she gets in on him, calls him her
sweet balsam of Perue, her angel dar-
ing her eIseras, her spotted wa, her
dear duck, until he willis like a butter
fly in a hailstorm, and she exclaims,
I" Do with me as thou wilt; am thine
all thine!" He, poor, detected, dis
tressed-looking cuss, sneaks away feel
ing too mean to look a manly lamp
post in the face, and starts to hunt up
tailor who viii sell him a black suit
on six months time, while she goes a
shopping, and brings home samples of
silk. old aunts call upon her and
tears of pity rolling down their checks
advise her to submit cheerfully9t to her
fate; altho' they know it is hard for a
poor tinnid fawn like! her to leave
home, vet such is9woman's lot, and it
is her duty. The fatal day approach
es, and some dark night the poor erlss
can be seen sneaking along to engage
the palson. @ so- aaio,Toaq 81
The day comes, First one carriage
drives to the church door, then another
Then comes three more with the
rnourners. Everybody makes a rush
for the church. Three or four girls,
done up in white lace get out 9of the
carriages; then the bearers wrapt mp
in broad-cloth, hitch on to the bundles
they get to the church door, fix their
rigging, then sail majestieally up the
center aisle amid murmers of "There
they comet" Saint she sweet p and
such like. Then the dominic joins
them in this wise gay on hereby swear
that what you affirm is true, SO help
you God! Amen. What God has put
asunder let no man join apart Know
all men by these presents. And dc
you hereby swear the same to- be the
truth, the whole truth and nothing but
the truth? Now, by the power in.
vested in me by the Constitution soi
the United States,I pronounce you
one, and your letters of recommends:
ton will be handed you as soon as
convenient" Tlre deed is di6i-that
is part did-and they start to get away
from their native hearth by the first
train. That night they join theil
hands together and register a vow III
heaven that they will always be good
to each other, never fight, never be
cross, never have spats, never give
sour looks, never hit eaehiother and IN
less than eight months that girl will
make race course round hisleye9witl
a broomhandle, and call him q frizzle.
headed sour ikrout, whiIeshe willplay
base ball with her water falf3 and
Wednesday and Saturday 9iihstead lol
going to matinees she'll get good
rousing old thrashing sAand-thatt
what's the matter. .HoL1c