The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-10-14
WitticisIns.
Household words Papa, mama.
A hand.to hand affair Marriage.

! nh oUJcSV W uIIIoSC'oh "'~o''
The woman question--"Is he rich Z
The greatest composer-Chloro-
form. H..
The best air to live in-Million,
aire. ... a. ...
Pressing business that Of and edi,
tor. .ti ,.
Take it Coolie-thc Chinese ques
ton. a aI. -'... .......
What style of hat is the easiest to
wcar2 That which is not felt.
The young lady who took the gen
tleman's fancy has returned it with
thanks.
Ifone does not hold still when stuna
by u bee or fate, the sting remains be
hind the wound.
Why are the nose and chin not like
ly to ever agree? Because words Of
ten pass between them.
Why is o contented man Of great
wealth like a ghost2 Because he is q
happy rich 'un, (apparition.)
What a little child,' said friend
"Ah,' replied Hood, "his parents me-.
er made much of him.
Why is it particularly difficult to''pro.
cure boats on the River Arno? BE,
cause there Arno boats there.
A gentleman looking at his watch
after midnight cried, cts tomorrow
morning l must bid you good night
Why are handsome laundresscs a
sign Of public rejoicing? Because they
arc bellies ringing.
Why is stove an agreeable affair in
summer as we'll as in wintcrY Because
in either season it is always grateful
when coaled.@ " FF
What is the difference between aman
going up stairs and one looking up:
The one steps up stairs and the other
stares up steps.
When Haddock's wife kicked hm
ont Of bed he said, Look here, now il
you do that again it will be likely to
cause a GOODNESS in this family"
A new mode of dispensing mobs has
lately been discovered, and it is said
to act "like CHARM The mode is to
pass around 4 contribution box.
There is so much adulteration in
what we eat and drink, that most ar,
ticles ofconsumption have to be taken
upon trust, and treated as "Articles OF
Faith"
Gov, Wise was lately shown a pho,
tograph of himself. of which he said,
II suppose it is intended for me. 1t
looks as if ! was drunk, sleepy, pitying
q kitten"
A wag seeing door nearly off its
hinges, in which condition it had been
for some time, observed that when it
had fallen and killed some one it would
probably be hung.
Slender party, who is not very com
Portable, "These street cars ought to
charge by weight Stout party sharp
ly, "Ah if they did they never would
stop to pick you up"
A little Buffalo girl wants to know
if feas are white, because her uncle
told her that Mary had little lamb
with feas as white as snow. That Buff
falo girl will soon have hump on her
back.
No matter what Jones may have re-
marked, it was not the witty Smith who
retorted upon one who had called him
an everyday man. "Well if | am an ev-
eryday man you are weak one"
Waiter" said fastidious gentle
man, exhibiting singular looking ob
ject on the soup ladlc. waiter do you
know what that is p
That sir. looks like a mouse, sir,
we often find them in soup sir, no eX-
ira charge, sir"
A Scotchman having hired himself
to farmer, had cheese set before
him that he might help himself. The
master said to him, "Sandy you take a
long time at breakfast" ""In troth, mas
ter he answered, "a cheese o this size
is nae sac soon eaten as you may
think"
A drunken man the other day fell
down stairs and was reported killed,
crowd collected and found him sitting
at the foot of the staircase. One of
them queried, "Are you hurt SteveI'
To which he replied, "Ah! l wouldn't
have those stairs fall on me again for
good deal"
A young wife demonstrated with her
husband q dissipated spendthrift on bis
conduct, MY love-" said he, IL am
only like the Prodigal Son--I shall re-
form by and by" "And I will be like
the Prodigal Son, too she replied ;
"for I will arise and 60 to my father"
And accordingly of she went.
A lady was recently robbed by fel-
low who bad secreted himself in her
chamber rutil shs had retired. The
y Al "A