The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-12-10
JOSH BTLLrNas PAPERS.
THE DrsrnIKr scnooLaAsrrR.

There liz one man in this basement
world, that alwus look. upon with miKt
pheelings oy pity and respekt.
Pity and vespeht, az geberal mixtue,
don't mix well
You will find them both travelling
around amung folks, but not often growe
ing on the same bu h.
When they do hug each other, they
mean something.
Pity, without respeIst. hainft got much
more oats in it than disgust haz.
i bad rather man would hit me on
the side ov the he'd than tew pity me.
But thare iz one man in this world to
whom I alwus take oph mi hat, and re-
main uncovered until he gifts BY, and that
il the distrikt scboolmasfcr.
When | meet him, look IN him AZ
a martyr ist returned from the stake, or
on his way thare few be cooked.
lie leads more loncsum and single
life than an old bachelor, and more anx-
ious one than an old maid.
lie is remembered just about az long
and afektionately as a glide board IL by
travelling pack pcdlar,
If he undertakes tew make his skol-
lars luv him, the chances are he will neg
lekt their farming; and if he don't lick
them now and then pretty often, they will
soon lick him.
The distrikt skoolmasier hain't got a
friend on the fat side oy earth. The boys
SNOWFALL him during recess; the girls
put water on hiz hair die; and the skOol
committee make him work for half the
money bartender gifts, and board him
around the naborhood, where they give
him rhy coffee. sweetencd with molasses
tew drink, kodfsh Lawls 8 times day
for vittels.
And. with all the abuse, / never heard
ov a distrikt skoolmaster swearing emmy
thing Ioudcr than COndeBl II.
Don't talk tcw me about the pashunce
ov anshunt job Job had pretty plen-
ty of biles all all over him, no doubt, but
they were all ov one breed
Every yung one in distrikt skool il
bile ov different breed, and each ono
needs different kind ov pouItiss to git
good head on them.
A distrikt skoolmastcr, who duz o
square Job and takes hiz kodfsh bawls
rcvcrently, is better man today tew
have Icing around than Solomon would
be arraycd in all hiz glory.
Solomon WIZ better at writing prov
erbs and managing large family, than
he would be tcw navigate distrikt skool-
house.
Emmy man who haz kept a distrikt
skool for ten years, and boarded around
The naberhood, ought to be made mager-
gineral, and have penshun for the rest
ov hiz natral days, and a hoss and wag-
gin tew do hiz going arond in.
But, az a general consequence, distrikt
skoolmaster hain't got emmy more warm
friends than On old blind fox hound
haz.
He IL jist about az welkum az tax
gather il.
He IL respkted a good deal az a man
il whom we owe det oy so dollars to
and don't mean TO pay.
He goes through life on back road,
az poor az wood sled and finally IL miss
cd-but what ever bekums ov hiz re-
mains, kant tell.
fortunately ne IL not often sensatlve
man; If he waz, he couldn't emmy moro
keep distrikt skool than he could file q
kross kut saw.
Viii liz it that these men and wimmen,
who pashuntly and with crazed brain
teach our rcmorseless brats the tejus
meaning ov the alfabet, who take the first
welding heat. on their destinys, who lay
the stepping stones and enkurage them
tew mount upwards, who hav dun more
hard and mean work than emmy klass on
the footstulc, who hav prayed over the
reprobate, strengthened the timid, re-
strained the outrageous, and fattercd tho
imbecilc, who hav lived on kodfsh and
vile coffee, and hain't been herd to sware
-whi il it that they are treated like
vagrant fdler, danced tc for q night,
paid oph in the morning, aud eagerly
forgotten?
l had rather burn a coal pit, or keep
the fivs out ov butchers shop in tho
month ov August than meddle with the
distrikt skool Dizziness.