Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1869-09-22
Pleasant paragranbS.

HleaSaU paragraphs
Why was Noah never buporv in tl9A
ark? Because he always had Ham with
him.
--'Sal what time do your folks dinaP"
s'Soon as you goes; that's missus's orders
Not long ago a captain of volunteers @z-H
was publicly presented with q handsome
sword He began his reply thus: "Iadies
and gentlemen this sword is the proulest ~a-s
day OF my existeneeP
-sWhen men break their hearts, re-
marks cynical female writer, sit is the
same when a lobster breaks one of liz
claws another sprouting out Immediately
and growing in It's place"
An incorrigible wag, who lent minis
ter horse which away and threw his &, .s.
clerical rider, thought he should have some
credit for his aid IN spreading tae Cos
pei
A tresome talker once said 10 . pub
lie man he had incontineutly bored. can
oyster is pleasant to eat, though repnlsive
TO look at eyes, but them he Knows
when to shutup," was the reply.
An oil millionaires darz baag at Sara -s
toga sings two songs night an8 ay-all she
knows. The old man says le paid 50 GOO
to learn her music, and she's got to sing or
bust. -==-
"A girl at Kansas City had six offers of res
marriage within q month, and hot month
too 1t is supposed to be on account OF
her frigidity.
Two French friends met s.Ah, good
day How are you p pretty WELL 'SAnd
your wife?p ''She is travelling. 'sFor her
A white boy met acolored lad the other
day, and asked him what he had such
short nose for 'I spect, so it won't poke
itself into other peoples business ..#
"A Pennsylvania farmer writes to his "a
country paper that he cured his daughter
OF the G4recian bend by pouring water on
her and holding her out in the sun until
she warped back again.
-''Wby don't you limit yourseIf?' said tr.2
physician to an Incorporate person. ''Set
down stake chat you will go so far and no a0
farther Il do, replied the other; ''but
I set it SO far off that 1 always get drunk -sE
before get to it," .
-':NTa," said a little urchin peeping
from beneath the bedclothes, 'Iam cold -l8l# 1els
/ want some more cover. on the bed s'IIie a.r
still, my dear" said the mother 'tuntiI
your sister comes home from church; she % rts
has got the comforter for bustle,". 4 #.
-sAre these fresh eggs?" s-
eyes, madame - r. $50 s 8ae 9s|Ersg.
''How do you know You speak so pos. ss--.--,
itively." -.
'Wl1y, I laid them in that box myself ss.iHor
early this morning ...,. ---s. -
A couple of fellows. who were pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whisky GOT @ H11ftH
into the gutter After foundering about Ga ---s
for q few minutes, one of them said, ssJim
let's go to another house; this hotel leaks
from below. .-t.e .-.~-.E -s
An intelligent gentleman from Ger
many, on his first visit to an Amerfcap -eFa7zrt=
church, had acontribution box with q hole ,.s f--
in the top presented to him. and whispered
to the collector, Idont got mein baperH
and can't vote" s..-
An Iishman, being asked by his angry
master what he did to the dog every daf 4 s.8t En-
to make him cry out ii cruelty treated. f. E.-4-s
Oruelly trait him. yer honor? not I! I
never could hurt poor dumb cratur in my 81
life; but yer honor bade me cut his tail
and so / cut only a little bit off every day @
TO makelt more aisy for him. aEEE TE ri
The other day in Schenectady, an old - zsre-
lady with two bandboxes in her arms, came
to the track of the Central Railroad AMI sa
inquired at what time the next train was rr -
due. On beng informed that IL WOuld
through the city In half an hour, she quietly
dumped her bandboxes the pavement
and sat down. remarbng that she'd waja
till it passed. she didn't want to be run
over, aud body couldn't be too keerful. ~
DR.. G., of Sycamore Ill, is a capital
hand alta joke Riding in the country o1s
day, he saw a sign upon gate-post, read ..
ing thus: F'This farm for Sail" Stopping
his horse he hailed little old woman VIII o -.r-
stood on tip-toe hanging out clothes. Il
say, madam, when is this farm going to
Sda?'" HrE #a..--E -...a ....-.
'Just 20 soon, sir, replied the old lady
placing her thumb TO her nose, ssas any
body comes along who can raise the wind =
The Doctor drove thoughtfally on.
-''Clerk, said tall Kentuclian to aho
tel official. this young woman and me
nave eIoped Have ye any marryn' taeili-
The clerk replied in the affirmative ana
the two were ''splced" in less than an hour
The bridegroom was evidently not vet sat
isfed, and fingered around the hotel -bool7
''CleTk, said he, conddautially aS
length, ''hadn't ye better change the reeis-
ried ?"
sIt's already done" renJ.e5 :6ors clerk. ..-
you're marked for the sane loom."
wen, clerk, replied tie Kentuckian,
quickly won't you just show me up, a-
then for I'm oagtad sleepy"