Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-01-07
MILITARY DANDY REBUKED,

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-';s MILITARY DANDY REBUxED. Z Z
A eosempotary tells the follo&ing good
anecdote of D s'setting down. which an offl:
cer ceerI Of tie .sYouaited States; AHmy' re-
eeived in his presence. The writer says:
We were travelling, awhile since, on one
Of the Sound boats, where Ne met, jnAt afs
ter breakfast, our old ACQUAINTANCE, John
Barstow-Col. John Barstow, who has
bought and sold more horses than any 9th
er live man, it is said, in the United States.
While We were exchanging the usual salatae
tienB Of the morning, the. sharp tone Of the
hand. BELL was heard ringing along deck, and
the almost as sharp voice of the steward
was heard crying out-7. H. ...st. n. .ay ~
Cali dem passengis as hasnot settle DER
passagesHill please step up 70, De captains
offs an settle. > -ssj.,'s..y7 .
There were many PassengeFS ana OF
course, as usual, ., great crowd gathered q,
round the captain q offs, " each quietly a
waiting his turn to pay. Suddenly . tall
robust young manelbowed his way through
the mass Of the people up to the window,
and, stretching out fhis money to the clerts
said in q very loud tone--,, ~ - - - -
"Take my fare, sir !" " .5'2I t. -, -.
"What name, sir ?p asked the clerk, Us
he received the bills. ae i.:; ',', ~, ~, ,, - j.. : !
,aCaptain Victor Henry Dgsmma, SIR
Captain Digamma and lady, Of the Youni-
ted States Awmy, sir was the reply in a
very pompous and conceited voice, -" ,,.., 80,
This Was rather too much for ,our ac-
quaintance, the horse dealer. He passed
radely through the crowd, and loudly .ade
dressed the clerk, while the captain Of the
'tawmy"' yet stood BY, and the people seem
ed to be thinking whether to LYNCH him Or
not. =, ,.s.5 .,ts,,..s %, ....~ .iss4 ..s 49, =
'sTske my fare, sir g .,f.r r., '..'... /
ssWhat name, sir" inquired the clerk,
very meekly. ..',..-,.~, . :,,. =.
Barstow and horse, sir, Of the Connecticut
Milishy, sir = was his answer, delivered in
q. most comieally pompohsi tone. ..,.,]
How blank, that army captain looked,
and what good natured crowd that, was
after this answer, only those
can understand whose Imagination can pic
ture reality. They laughed consumedly.
Josh BILLINGS, GOOSE talk.
The goose issa grass animal, but don't
chaw her. cud. .., 49,, b.. g. ... ::
They are good livers about one aker to
q goose is enuf, altho' there IL sum folks
who think that one goose tew IT'S akers is
nearer rite.
These two kalknlations are so far apart
that it IL difficult tew tell row what will f.
nally win. } .'''' '". ',' ~, =:
But t don't think if I had q farmof It's
akers, awl, paid for, that I.wopld sell it for
half what it wuz worth, just because I did
not have any goose upon it. 3na,
Geese stay we'll; some 'of our best biog-
rsphers say seventy years, and grow tuf to
They hay one egg at a, time, about the
size Of aegoose egg, IN which the goslin hes
hid. The goslin il the goose's babe. 90
The goose don't suekle its young, but
turns them out to pasture on somebody's
vacant lot. ~. ...........
- They seem to lack wisdom, but are con-
sidered sound on the goose. . .''..'~- .-
They are good eating, but not good chaw-
ing the reason of this remains. profound
secret tew this day. ~ .... .,-u.:
When . female goose IL atwork Matching
she IL hard bird to. please. she riles cler
up from the bottom in mint, and will fight
a yoke of oxenif they show the least sass.
The goose IL excellent for feathers, which
she sheds ever. year BY the handful.
T. A "CULLUD" WrrNEss.-The Baton
Rouge Advocate gives the following extract
from the testimony of a witness examined
about the participation of one Sam Bow
man in late robbery. When asked if he
knew the prisoner he said: D.. - az
90, yes, bought ice cream of him often"
ssWhat is his name?' .....-.., ,t
= ssDst is none o nay business got, some
thin else to do sides follerin' people bout
to find out dar names" "''.-aa l4ls.'nz.
elbow do you know this is the same MANI"
"Don't I tell you, boss. Use bought ice
cream from him lots of times Of course
he's de man. Don't Irekellect his painted
wagon and his sassers, and how he hollered
ice cream? Ofcourse he's de same man. I"
"What were you doing when the robbers
came to Mrs. Clark's? ?"
"Nufhn was asleep
elbow did you know that they were on
the placer
'Ain't got ears p
GHow LONG did Won stand ont in the ward