The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1869-04-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

THE lap of luxury-A cat eating milk.
THE editorial His youngest.
A FAsTDIoUs bridegroom in New York
has sent to Paris to have his wedding
cards engraved.
SEEING a cellar nearly finished, wag-
gish author remarked that it was an ex-
cellent foundation for story.
SOME say that the quickest way to
destroy weeds is to marry a widow. 1t is,
no doubt, most agreeable species of
husbandry.
KEEP doing, always doing. Watching,
dreaming, tending, murmuring, talking,
signing, and repining, are idle and profit
less employments.
A GIRL who was making dress put the
sleeves in wrong She was unable to
change them, as she could not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve in
the wrong place or the wrong sleeve in
the right place.
AN exchange, in speaking of the magi-
cal strains of hand-organ, says: when
he played old Dog Tray we noticed
eleven pups sitting in front of the ma
chine on their launches, brushing the
tears from their eyes with their fore
paws"
AN editor says in a recent letter to a
friend: "At present | am in the country,
recovering from fourteen years editorial
life-bad eyes, crooked back, and broken
nerves, with little to show for it." Any
one would think that the three articles
enumerated were quite enough to show
for it.
A WEALTHY merchant, who had become
bankrupt, was met, sometime after his
misfortune, by a friend, who asked him
how he was getting on pretty WE'LL"
said he. 81 am upon my legs again"
"HOw already?" eyes; have been
obliged to part with my carriage and
horses and must now walk"
THE Richmond Examiner tells of mar
riage between two leg-less colored people
in that city the other day. Both, some
years ago, were compelled to have their
legs amputated at the knee joints, owing
to their having been severely bitten by
the frost. The man had been married
twice before, and the woman three times
SAYS a writer in BIacksoood "I re-
member cruel old schoolmaster of mine
who always accompanied his flagellations
with the assurance we'd bless him yet for
this scourging, and thst the time would
come when we'd thank HIM on our knees
for these wholesome fioggings; but after
a long lapse of years, have felt no graft
tude, nor ever met schoolfellow who
did.
A MODEL HUSBAND
/ saw q model husband in a dream,
Where things are not exactly what they seem;
moral man, to sceptics be it known;
The wife he loved and cherished was-his own;
And for the test-I saw the husband wait
n hnro ox.I hat. %t,.
While Jane put on her things nor spoke one
sour
Or bitter word, though waiting half an hour
For dinner; and, like Patience a throne,
He didn't swear to find button gone.
A WRITER in Appleton's Journal sug-
gests what he considers the only adequate
method for putting stop to the evils of
adulteratiOn in the common articles of
food. This is to teach the art of discov-
ering and exposing adulterations in the
public schools. Every school should have
a laboratory, and every boy and girl of
fifteen should be instructed in elementary,
chemical testing, and the use of the COM
mon microscope.
THERE is an old story of Venetian
painter who set up his picture in the
street with the request that ANYBODY who
perceived error or failure in the piece
the result, that every square inch of his
laborious canvas was condemned; but
when he altered the request, and begged
that an ingenious public would oblige him
by denoting what was faultless, again
every square inch was lauded to the skies
by some critic or another
THERE are only two marriageable girls
at Coosa, Oregon. On Sundays, half
dozen or more young fellows sit all day
on the verandahs in front of the ladies'
houses, while each fair one looks at her
followers through the half-open widow
The lovers, all the while, are whiting
bits Of white pine. At dark they move
home but the dansels find these visits
profitable, for there is generally left behind
a pile of shavings big enough to light
fires for the rest of the week.
IT is an easy matter to lead grape vines