The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1869-01-19
Note. by Mark Twsin-.

Notes by Mark Twain.
Mark Twain has been writing more
letters for The Alta California, and here
are some extrcts from one of the latest.
It is dated at Hartford, Conn:
have a boil on one side Of my nose
and cold on the other, and whether l
sneeze or blow it is a one; get the
lockjaw anyhow. I never fully compre-
hended before how inscrutable are the
ways of Providence. For my feeble fl
mite wisdom is utterly stumped with the
simple problem of what great and good
end is to be accomplished by the confer
ring Of this boil and this cold on me
both at the same time, but Providence
understands it easy enough. The ways
OF Providence arr too inscrutable for
the subscriber.
have not been working very hard,
but have got this book OF mine ready
for :he engravers and electrotypers at
last, though it will not be issued from
the publishing house till March. Not
knowing what else to to name it, / have
called it the ssNew Pilgrims Progress"
This reminds me that 1 see by the pa
pers that I am going to China in the
Spring. was not quite certain Oft be-
fore, but am now, suppose. My lee
turing engagements extend far into
March, and sh all have ample time to
think st all over .
Don't direct any more letters to me at
Hartford until find out which Hartford
live in. They mix such things here in
New England. think am in Hartford
proper, but no man may hope to be GER
tain. Because right here in one nest we
have Hartford, and old Hartford, and
and New-Hartford, and West Hartford,
and East Hartford, and Hartford on the
Hill, and Hartford around.generally. 1t
is the strangsst thing-this paucity OF
names in Yankee-land. You find that
it is not matter confined to Hartford,
but is distemper that afflicts all New
England. They get name that suits
them, and :hen hitch distinguishing han
dies to it, and hang them on all the viii
lagos round about. 1t reminds me Of
the man who said that Adam went on
naming his descendants until he ran out
of names, and then said gravely. "Let
the rest be called Smith, Down tn ere
at New Haven they have Old Haven,
West Haven, South Haven, West-by-
SOU West Haven, and East by east
nor east half east Haven, and the oldest
man in the world can't tell which one OF
them Yale College is in. The boys in
New England are smart, but alter they
have learned everything else, they have
to devote a couple of years to he geog-
rophy of New Haven before they can
enter college, and then half of them can't
do it till they go to sea a voyage and
learn how to box the compass. That i 8
why there are so many more New Eng
land sailors than any other. Some Of
them spend their whole lives in the wla
ling service trying to fit themselves fer
college. This class Of people have col
onized the city of New B edford, Mass.
It is we'll known that nine -tenths Of the
old salts there became old salts just in
this way. Their lives are a failure
they have lived in vain-.hey have nev-
er been able to get the hang of the New.
Haven geography.
In this connection they tell story
of a stranger who was coming up the
Connecticut River, and was trying his
best to sleep; but every now aud tisuu
the boat would stop and 8 man would
thrust his head into the room First he
sung out ''Haddamr' and then "East
Haddam!' and then Haddam Neck"
and then .sNorth Haddam!' and then
"Great Haddam!'' tsLittle Haddaml''
"Old Haddam!' New Haddam!" "Irish
Haddam!" ''Dutch Haddam.' "Haddam-
Haddam" and then the stl anger jumped
out of bed, all excited, and says: ssI'm "a
Methodist preacher, full Of grace, and
forty years in service without guile! I'm
meek and lowly Christian, but d-n
these Haddams. 1wish the devil had
'em, / sayl" ~ 81 ea