Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-06-18
Josh Billings Pspers--The Cote.

They have split hoof and whole
tail.
They have good appetite and san
guine digestion.
Their moral karakters are not polish
ed; they had rather steal rotton turnip
out ov garbage box than tew cum hon
estly bi pek ov oats.
The male cote has two horns on the
ridge ov his nose, and a mushtash on his
bottom lip, and il the plug ugly ov hiz
| naberhood. E
A maskeiue cote will fife emmy thing
from an elephant down to bis shadder on
ded wall
They strike from their but-end, in
s:ed ov the shoulder, and are az likely
tew hit az hammer IL a nailhed.
They are a hi seasoned animal, as
much so az pound of assiidity.
They are faithful critters, and will
stick tew friend az long az he lives in a
shanty.
They kan Kline ennything but greast
pole, and no the way up rock NJ natur-
al az woodbine.
They are az certain tew raise az young
ones, sum families are haff gotes and the
other half children. They are good eat
ing when they are yung, but they leave
it opi az they git stronger.
They are alwus poor in boldly, but
phatt in the stumick, what they eat seems
to all 60 to appetight. You might az
well agree tew9 phatt an injun-rupber
over-shoe by filling it with klam shells
az few raise emmy adipoze membrane on
the outside bust ov a cote.
A phatt cote would be literary Gu
riosity.
They use the same dialekt az sheep,
and the yuDg ones speak the language
more fuently than the parents do.
There IL only two animals ov earth
that will eat tobacco one il man and
toiher IL cote, but the cote understands
it the most, for be swallows the spit,
chaw and all.
The malo cote. when he IL pensiv, il
venerable and philosophic looking old
cnss, and wouldn't make bad professor
ov arithmetic in sum ov our colleges.
They are handy at living long time,
reaching an advanced age without arriv-
ing at any definite conclusion.
How long cote lives without giving
it up, there IL no man now old enuff tew
;el. Methuzeler, if biz memory was bad
at forgettin, might give good sized
guess; but, unfortunately for science and
| tI,e oo.o hatbrzolo. o.r1t la.o
Gotes will live in emmy climate, and on
emmy vittles except tan bark, and if they
ever cum to square death. it IL pro
found secret, in the bands ov few, tew
this day.
| wouldn't like to beleave emmy man
under oath who had ever seen mascu
line cote actually die. and stay so.
Speaking ov MethuzeIer puts me in
mind ov the fact, if man should live
now daze as mulch as he did, and have
only one eve tew see things with, he
wood hav to hav an addition built upon
the back ov biz head to sto away things
into
The female cote IL either the mother,
or sister, or cuzzin ov the male cote,
according to the prevailing circumstances
III the case. or else labor under a de.
fusion. | forget which.
They Civ milk intuitively about q
quart, before it il watered, in twelve
hours, which IL the subject ov nourish
ment in various ways.
This milk which is extracted from the
female cote. IL excellent tew finish ~
yung ones on, but il apt to make item
beIicose and fightiul.
1t IL not uncommon for babe, while
inhain this pugna> hus fluid, to lei oph
his left collection or diggits and cetch the
nurse on the pinnacle ov the smeller, and
tap il for claret.
This IL common fact amonc Irish
babes, and explains the reason why, in
after life, these same babes made such
brilliant bits.
In writing the history of the male and
female cote tew adorn the pages of flu
tur times / fatter myself that I have
stuck tew the truth, and haven't allowed
mi immaginashun to boss the Job.
A CRATE menny ov our best bilt histor.
ians arc apt tew mistake opinions foi
facts, this " an easy mistake tew make,
but when lite on a goose, or bed bug,
or cote, you motifs one thing stay with
them. FINS.