Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-12-03
A Live. Yankee Snored Out.

Reader-do you snore in your
slee?
You don't?-Well, I suppose not!
I never yet met the individual who
would acknowledge the corn.
Shall I tell you Of little adven-
ture was once witness too with a
'Snorer p
The varieties Of the genus "Sno-
rer'' is very extended. There is
your quiet, signing, unobtrusive
snorer-who always has "a good
time" at it and troubles nobody.
There is your wheeling, chuckling,
squeaking snorer-who makes a
regular business Of it, but who
keeps it all ''in the family" and per
adventure, annoys only the partner
of his joys and sorrows There is
also your nasal grumbler, (who
sleeps in the next roomi) who
grumbles and grunts-and gets over
But if there be one under Hea-
ven, an object of pity-one that
should excite the sympathy of the
benevolcntly disposed-more than
another, commend me to your gen
uine out-and out snorer! ~
To appreciate his qualities fully
you should be fatigued and restless
yourself-after three days jour
ney over humping bad road, and
you shall run athwart him where the
steamboat line connects, at late
hour in the night. You shall retire
to one Of the low cots left-which
you find in the center Of the cabin
for the accommodation of the last
comers-and after the dreadful
ljolting you have passed through fol
the previous twenty or forty
eight hours, as tue case may be,
(you shall regale yourself, imagina-
lively (during the prosess of un-
dressing,) with the prospective en-
ljoyment which Natures sweet res
torer has in reserve for you!
Your weary head touches the
pillow, but an unusual nervousness
troubles you; and despite your most
earnest endeavors, it is midnight
before you can compose yourself
You are at last worn out with toss
ing and turning-and though the
night is warm, and the vermin arc
active you determine to sleep.
| For the last half hour you have
| been listening to what you ,imag
ined distant thunder, (you are
"afraid of lightning,") and as YOU
brow is slightly knitted, you invol
unfairly ask yourself, "What's
that!' f
In reply to your interrogatory, !;
sort of explosion takes place-s
miniature eruption Of Vesuvius, i:
blast t-''who-oof-p!'- !'-and the
sound rolls away in a long drawn
unearthly sigh-like the last effor
| of a suffo eating man to recover hi:
breath, and all is silent again.
In such plight and at such :
time-some years ago, I remembe
I to have met Yankee in the cabi1
of a crowded canal packet. -
It was nearly midnight when h
came on board, at Pittsburg, from
one Of the OHIO river steamers. H.
was very plain man, and had beer
out west, SO he said-and was salts
fed to 60 home again!
The cabin was crammed and al
l"uprightt'' was allotted him in th'
middle Of the floor, with some 9th
ers. He was a live Yankee--ant
occupied some considerable time il
undressing, securing his watch, ad
justing his bed-clothes and caring
for his 'stin'' which he slowed ava,
under the pillow. He finally noun
ted the piece of furniture, whicl
some lady-writer compares to "'
fence rail covered with two strips o
cape," and stretched himself for th,
night. For long time he tosset
. uneasily in his cot, muttering t.
himself something about "shelvet
lup between heaven and earth" "-bu
he finally turned over, as supposed
: for the last time-when a fellow OF
This extreme right, near the door
who had evidently been gettin.
raadv for some Minutes hurst ou