The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1869-12-18
Nasty.
MI. Massey IAKEs a LOOK OVER THE POLITICAL noRI-
ION AND GIVES THE RESULT THEREOF.


NE. Massey TAKEs a LOOK OVER THE POLITICAL noRI-
zoN ASD GIVES THE RESULT THEREOF.
Mock CHrsK.,
(Which /, in the STATE Nv Penn-lvanyl
At last l hev struck n haven NV rest. At last
I hev n shoor abidin place, for a time ut least.
\ How long | NAV stay, or how soon ] may be COM
PEELED to pick up my landlords spare shirt and
travel, I can't tcll.-But wat do care? For the
present i am under the wing NV a man who heZ
twenty millions Wv dollars, and who is yoosin it
at a terrific rate. Some few Nv the drops NV the
golden shower is a fallin onto me, andI am content.
That il, lam content personally. l amez well"f ez
i Good be. L hev twice penetrated the august pres
ence Nv the Democratic candidate for Governor of
Pennsilyany, representa- myself ez President NV a
Democratic club in Philadelphy, ana twice have
| received a hundred dollars To carry on the good
work. The young man wich guards the outer
door NV the candidatorial manshen is n most
acoot judge NV human nacher. The servant ut
the door askt for crcdenshels, Mt witch the young
man, who happened to be in the hall, noticin me,
retuked him for delayin me.
Terence =" remarkt he sharply, " admit all
such noses without question. 700 bet they are
our friends"
That nose hez cost me thousands NV other peo-
PIES dollars to keep it up in color. Thank Hea-
ven, it's repayin me some NV the trouble L hev
gone to on its account.
lam well enuff of, and possibly ought to be
satisfied, but the condishen NV the Democrisy afflix
me. The fact liz, we are IN a bad way, Their amt
no way out NV it. We amt got no yoonanimity
we amt got nothing TO fte for, and the country
hcz had universally good crops. The wcather's
been agin U.s. IF we Good hey had rain in har-
vest enuff To hev rpsted our wheat, and enuff
follerin the wheat harvest to hev rotted the per-
taters, and then n juicy attack NV cholera and
WALLER fever, and other disorders of that nacher,
so tibet the people Good hev got dissatisfied and
ugly and sich, thar wood hev been some hope for
US. The potato rot in Western Pennsylvany
wood hev made thousands NV votes alone. But
watts the yoOse NV talkin TO farmers with teers
in yoor eyes, NV n country goin to room, when
every mothers son Nv EN- hez their pockets
stuffed with greenbax and a barn full of wheat to
bring 'em more? Watts the yoose NV clamorin
for a change when the country's doin ez well ez it
can anyhow?
Then agin, our management bez bin %friteful.
In Ohio, We made u boggle at the beginin, in the
nOininashcn NV Rosecrans. liz wuZn't in the M
chur NV things for our patriots who had shot Of
fccrs sent out by this ROsecrans to arrest their
sons wich he'd taken bounty and I'D deserted to
Canady, to vote for Rosecrans pc.,ikulariy ez
hundreds NV them hev bin dragged to Bastiles,
for cmptying their rifles ut EN-. The hurrahs
stuck in their threats. | must confess that they
made u brave attempt 1T it, but they looked sick
while they did it. Their efforts to hurrah for
and the face they made NV it reminded
me Nv an Insidcnt witch occurred to Inc wunst.
L he'd n friend whose name it was Brown, who
u gwen ~ lHuui1cnCc III the UOWln DDic 10 n |
fearful extent. Wun night lie attempted to be
conyiyyel ON n new brand of whisky, and il
fioOrcd him. At III p. M. | found him clinging
to u lamp post and vOmitin ez tho ther wuz "a
earthquake into his insides.
Brown 80 remarked !, lawn INV had affection
ately onto his shoulder, :. Brown are YOU sick %
Sick SICK! replied he, swingin round to
the other side Nv the poet and disclIargin another
Sick do yoo think I'm doing this
for the fun NV the thing?'
Our democrats in Ohio swallercd Rosecrans,
but their hurrahs were so much like the retchin
Nv q man witha load onto his stumick, that il re-
minded me Nv my friend Brown.
In Pennsylyany we amt much better of. Our
candidate has points about him. He wuz a cop
pcThead dooTin the war, witch makes all that
class NV democrats enthusiastic in his support;
on tother hand, il drives off the war demo-
Gratis, without witch We amt worth shucks. He
bez money, though, and CT he's blecdin freely he
may keep the Organizashen alive till We can make
ftc with u man witch we kin eject.
The principal trouble il. however. to find out
Democracy Is mt this juncter. In Ohio it's
sgin niger cknlIty and in favor OF either pawn of
the bonds in greenbacks or rcpudiashun : in Ten
nessee III niger suffrage and niger offs holdin;
IN Connecticut les Iayin the bonds in gold, inter
and principal in California It's anti Chinese,
ind in louisiana Its Chinese. In Maine our peo-
pie are runnin n perhibbertory likkcr law, and
else they're for free whiskey. In
illinois, Democracy is free trade; in Pennsylyany
is high protective tariff, and so ON round. In
hort it's 20 high mixed that | wOoldcnt agree to
% frOm one county TO another To make speeches,
without having first carefully asccrtained wat the I
Democracy NV that pcrtikelcr county believe in.
i got Democrat papers from all the States one
lay, and by persistent reading NV elm for FIVE
hours, l became so mixed as to be a promisin
for a loonatic asylum.
L shell stay where | am so long ez there is any
hing to be got out NV the ~pOsishen. l hev per-
onated n Cheerman NV Philadelfy Committees
vice with success tomorrow | shall try il again,
md after that SIGH other characters rs a occur
o Inc. | must make hay while the sun shines,
or the furious assaults onto Packers pile is re-
locsin it ~fearfully. PETROLEUM V. Massey, H.
(Which wuz Post Mastery