The Portland daily press., 1869-10-30
sub sheriff. followed by the constable and two


policemen.
The sub-sheriff locked the door, putting the
KEY in his pocket, took piece OF paper there
from, and said
"Gentlemen, please answer to YOUR namesD
calling us alter the manner of a seroeant-at-
arms. . 81 #- s-. I'D
We answered with remarkable promptness.
till the unlucky Slopmiss was called.
MI. siopmlSs is the missing man." said the
suo-snerln. NOW, gentlemen he added.
lhls Is serious business, very serious bust
ness,-perhaps more so than anv of Won mag
he. 1t involves consequences of the eravest
character. How these two tried and honest
men could nave permitted Mr.. Slopmiss to
pass tnem remains to be seen, and how you
as body of respectable gentlemen, could
nave connived at it, is, to say the least of it,
| most suspicious. Till the high sheriff arrives,
Tor whom l have sent, | will refrain from
| making further comments"
The timid jurors here chmed in, that they
were innocent in thought, word and deed, of
any participation in the abscOnding of their
brother; while the remaining few began to
consider it capital fun, and thirsted for a
denOuement. 4
The sub sheriff. police constables ald Spec
ias consulted together in my serious wills
pers.
began to wish Slopmiss safely deposited
In an adjacent parish, tor were he to put in
an appearance now land l momentarily eX-
pected him. he would in all innocence Grim
mate me, and thereby bring the wrath OF the
posse c0nltdtus on my devoted head.
"That's the High Sheriff. sir, sail one of
the policemen, as hasty knocking was heard
at the door. Alleges naturally turned in that
direction. The High Sheriff, who had been
dining out, appeared in full-blown evening
costume, and betrayed at least one bottle of
Chateau Laitte.
"Whdt the deuce is ali this rov about9"
said voice beside me.
Turned, and beheld Slopmiss, who had
glided to his seat like phantom, OR like Mr.
Payne when performing the part of Philip
Vanderdecken.
"Hush!' said in hurried whisper; "don't
'or your lie pretend knew of your being out
oil the ROOM"
The sub-sheriff, in order to impart solem-
nifty to the proceedings, deliberately locked
the door, handed the key to the High Sheriff,
and began as follows
Sir, will feel obliged, as a preliminary
step in these painful proceedings, by YOUR
counting the number of gentlemen seated at
that table,"
The High Sheriff acted in accordance with
the wishes of his sub.
swell, sir?' asked the SUBJ
Twelve" replied the chief.
Twelve"
"Ill do it to satisfy you, sir, but I'm posi-
tive as to the number" replied the high sher-
if rather crustily.
Again he counted, and again the sub-sher
lit triumphantly asked him the result.
Twelve" replied the high sheriff. ,.
mo, sir" said the sub; ''only eleven"
Dammit, STRIP responded the chief; "Iv'e
tod
twelve"
81 have counted them six times" said tbe
sub. land L maintsin there are but eleven.'
DO you mean to tell me that I cannot
reckon, sir?" asked the chief.
Il mean to say we are all liable to mis-
takes" replied the sub.
Then you are mistaken, sir-not l." said
the chief. haughtily.
IL am not mistaken, sir; and to prove it
I'll call the roll" said the sub.
"Mr. Chouzler: Here. Mr.. Browne: Here.
MI Jones: Here. Mr.. Frizzle: Here. Mr..
Robinson: Hele Mr.. Gingerlick: Here.
Mr.. Rellowlungs: Here. Mr.. Bobley: Here.
Mr.. Lambly: Here.
lie paused in oder that his triumph might
be substantial. =
"Mr. Slopmiss - "Here."
"Where ?" erie the sl.b. ..rH.-1
Here" responded SIopmiss. a4t
GRACIOUS providence! this is eXtraordina-
ry," cried the sub
Not more extraordinary than taxing me
with incompetency," said the High Sheriff.
warming himself into a flush of anger. "And
now, sir, to business it you please" ..
1.-The sub was dumb, He kept his ewes
liked ON Slopmiss. He turned to the door,
tried it, remembered the High Sheriff had the
key, and literally gasped. "W-wh-where
have you been?" asked the sub OF Slopmiss.
"On the balcony, smoking a cigar" replied
the innocent author of this series of contre-
temps.
He turned furiously on the unlucky con-
stables.
Did you search the balcony?"
we did not. sir, as the windy was shut
and the night could"
There has been some vile completely here"
said the sub-sheriff.
Sir" said Slopmiss, "allow me to saw
went to have my smoke without consulting
any one" Here he perjured himself.)
The curtain falls here. The sub-sheriff is
standing near the door. gazing vacantly at
Slopmiss. The High Sheriff is engaged in
mixing tumbler of punch with Chouzler
who seems in excellent spirits. The consta-
6les are grouped in picturesque attitudes
Slopmiss is on his second tumber, ct sic.
NUGENT RoBINsoN.5H