davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A college professor was being rowcd
across stream in boat. Said he to the
boatman, "Do you understand philoso.
ply" "No, never herd of it !" "Thcr
one-quarter of your life is gone" "Dc
you understand geology ?" mo" ether
one-half of your life's gone" "Do YOU
understand astronomy" "No." ether
three-quarters of your life's gone" Bu
presently the boat tipped over and spilled
both into the river. Says the boatman
"Can you swim 2" ono" uTLon tho
whole of your life's gone"
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Pat was helping Mr.. Blank to get q
safe into his office, and not being acquain-
ted with the article asked what it was for
''To prevent papers and other articles
which are placed in it from being burnt in
case of fire." said Mr.. b.
can shure will nothin iver burn that
is put in that thing?"
"No."
"Well, then, your honor, ye'd better
be after getting into that same thing when
ye die"
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

THE HEART AND THE BLooD.-The a
mount of blood in an adult is nearly thir-
ty pounds, or full one fifth of the entire
weight. The heart is six inches in length
and four inches in diameter, and beats
seventy times per minute, 1900 times per
hour, and at each beat two and hall
ounces of blood are thrown out of it. All
the blood in the body passes through the
heart every three minutes.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A doctor returned o coat to a tailor be-
cause it did not fit him. The tailor Sec
ing the doctor at the funeral of one of his
patients, said: "Ah, doctor, you are a
happy man! "Why SOY" itHcoausc,
replied the tailor, "you never have any of
your bad jobs returned on your hands"
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A juvenile, on coming home for vaca-
ton astounded his father by asking, "Why
is my education like iced hook and self
zer? :" and before the amazed father could
reply, the young rogue added, "bccause
it's schooling" OTIS cooling.)
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Barnum wants to get nightmare to
exhibit at his museum. Let him cat a
mince pie, three sausages, half dozen pic
kles, plate of salad, and few pigs feet
at midnight and 60 at once to bed. He
will get one of the animals in two hours or
less.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

The School GIRL.-"M Mary do you say
your prayers morning and evening 2" "No
Miss, don't" "Why, Mary, are you not
afraid to 60 to sleep in the dark without
asking God to take care of you and watch
over you until the morning?' "No, miss,
i! amt afraid, cause l sleep in the mid
dle,"
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A tradesman in an Ohio city appends
to his advertisement, "ministers of the
gospel supplied with goods at cost, if they
agree to mention the fact in their congre-
cations"
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Lady Beaulen was complaining of being
awoke by noise in the night: her lord
Gan Irishman) replied, "Oh, for my part,
there's no disturbing me; if they don't
wake me before 1 go to sleep, there's no
waking me afterwards
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

"Who's there" said Williams, one
night last winter, to somebody at his street
door.
"a friend" was the reply.
"What do you want ?"
"Want to stay here all night"
"Queer taste of yours. But stay there
if you like" was the benevolent rejoinder.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

The Woman's Advocate, published at
Dayton, Ohio, winds up ferocious arti-
Gle in favor of woman suffrage with the
following lines from the man Shakespeare:
Countrymen, sue for simple justice at your
hands,
Naught else ask, nor less will have:
Or, by the great God that made all things,
I'll fight, till from my bones my flesh be hack
cd
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30
BLACKSMITHING AND
Wheelwrighting.

VNHE undersigned have commenced the above
Il business in AIiddletown, corner of Main and
Anderson streets, and solicit share of the pub
lie patronage. They fiatter themselves that their
work cannot be surpassed. The Backsmthing
will be conducted by John G. Vandenbraak, and
the Wheelrighting department by ]. Leauby.
Wagon, Plow and all kinds of country work
and Coach Smithng, done to order.
G1- Repairing neatly and promptly attended
to. Special attention given to the repairing.
All work warranted to give perfect satisfaction
JOHN G. VANDENBRAAK,
LEAUBY Il LEE.
ABril Ilth, lS6S-tf.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Old Mrs. Darnlcy is pattern of house
hold economy. She says she made pair
of socks last her fifteen years, by only
knitting feet into them every winter and
new legs into them every other winter.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

AS lady was walking on Washington
street, Boston, short time ago, gentle
mans button caught hold of the fringe of
her shawl. Some moments elapsed before
the parties separated. IL am attached to
you," said the gentleman, good humored-
ly, while he was industriously trying to
get loose. "The attachment is mutual,
Sir" was the good humorcd reply.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Why should Ireland be the richest coun-
try in the world2 Because it's capital is
always Dublin.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30
BOWERS
OMPLETE MANURE,

BOWERS
COMPLETE MANURE,
MANUFACTURED BY
HENRY BOWER, CHEMIST,
PHILADELPHIA.
MADE FROM
Super Phosphate Of Lime, 1mmonio and
Potash,
WARRANTED FREE FROM ADCLTERATIoS.
TTNETS Manure contains all the elements TO pro-
l. duce large crops OF all kinds, and is highly
recommended by all who have used it, also by
distinguished Chemists who have, by analysis,
. tested its qualities.
Packed in bags of 200 pounds each,
DIXON, SllARPLESS & co.
SOLE AGENTS,
80 South Water and 40 South Delaware Avenue,
PHILADELPHIA
For sale by WM. REYNOLDS,
T9South Street,
BALrIMoRE, Nh.
Also by JOHN A. REYNOLDS & SONS,
MIDDLETowN, DEL.
And by dealers generally throughout the coun-
trv. Jan. 0, lsGO-ly.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A CoUpLET FOR YoUNG LADIEs.-Tho
best of all ways to lengthen your days, is
to 60 to bed early and never wear stays.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Unmarried ladies may wear any ring
they please on the third finger of the left
hand, provided it is not a plain gold one
On the third finger Of the right hand a
ring implies an engagement.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30
WINE AND LIQUOR STORE
Middletown, Delaware.

VNHE undersigned takes this method of notify
l. ing the Public that he has opened a
WINE AND LIQUOR STORE
In Mddletown, Delaware, opposite Walkers
Hotel, where he has on hand large and varied
assortment of Wines and Liquors, in bottles and
casks, which he offers on advantageous terms to
purchasers at wholesale or retail.
Mas- Also, a fine stock of choice TOBACCO
AND CIGARS. THOMAS MURRAY.
Nov. 2l-f
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

Mrs. Parsons regards with concern the
cattle plague and sympathetically wonders
if her husband will escape it.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

A bachelor according to the latest def
milton, is the man who has lost the oppor-
tunity of making woman miserable.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

The U. S. Mint went into operation in
1893. and the first gold and silver coin
were issued in that year.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30

UNCERTAIN THINGs.-Gas meters-the
law-and the age of ancient young ladies'.
Middletown transcript., 1869-01-30
ATTEND TO YOUR TEETH.
STOVE Sill

q W. ROBERTS has received fresh Invoice of
.. those Beautiful Oriental Stoves, from AL
bany which he is offering to the public at rea-
sonable rates.
Jan. 9-f
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
6lIfIf;liH|I!|| 6lEl1l!EH|

THIS Infaliable Remedy does not lik
the poisonous irritating snuffs and strong
caustIc solutions with which the people
have long been humbuged, simply palliate
for short time, or drive the disease to the
lungs az there is danger of doing in the
use of such ncstrums, but it produces per.
feet and perm anent cures of the worst
cases of chronic catarrh, as thousands can
testify. "Cold IN the Head" is cured with
a few applications. Catarrhal Headache is
relieved and cured as if by magic. 1t re-
moves offensive Breath, Loss or Impair
ment of the sense of taste, smell or hearing,
Watering or Weak Eyes, and impaired
Memory, when caused by the violence of
Catarrh, as they all frequently are. I
offer in good faith standing reward
of $500 for case of Catarrh that I cannot
cure.
FOR SALE BY MOST DRUGGISTS
EVERYWHERE-PRI ONLY 50 CTS.
Ask your Druggist for the Remedy but
if he has not yet got it on sale, don't be
put off by accepting any miserable worse
than worthless substitute, but enclose sixty
cents to me, and the Remedy will be sent
you post paid. Four packages 50, OF one
dozen for SIS. Send a two cent stamp for
DR.. sage's pamphlet on Catarrh. Address
the Proprietor, R. V. PIERCE. M: D.,
% 3m BUFFALO, N. Y.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Shocking Death and Probable
Suicide.

AS the westward bound freight
train passed along on Sabbath eve. =
ing, it ran over and instantly killed
q young man named Hiram Bair,
a resident Of this place. His re-
mains were found by the side of the
track near the post which shows
the corporation limits, situated be-
tween the saw mill and the bridge
crossing the Sandusky river. The
train passed over his neck and jaw
which we're most horribly mangled.
Bitticover testified at the Coroner's
Inquest, that while the train was
at the depot, he saw Mr.. Bair lying
on the track, and seeing his danger
went and requested him to come
away. Bair replied, Il don't want
to live. I'll be damned if l care how
soon I get killed" Thereupon, Mr..
Bitticover, by main strength pulled
Bair away from the track and down
an embankment Of several feet. A
few minutes after the train went by
Mr.. Kent passed along the track,
and found Mr. Bair in the condition
described. The generally exsressed
belief is, that the deceased commit
ted suicide, and the verdict of the
Jury confirms that opinion.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
County Convention.

1T is time that the Republicans of
WyandoJ nave their County Con-
vention for the purpose of making
county nominations and the transac-
ton of other business; but as the
farmers are now very busy and
likely to be so for weeks, we sug-
gesti that the Convention be held
about the first or second Saturday
in August. Meanwhile the candi-
dates should make themselves
known that their respective merits
may be considered. a
We should have large convention
this year. Will we have it? Too
many of our Republicans are in the
habit of beginning on the first of
January and keeping up a perpetual
growl, instead Of rolling up their
sleeves and going to work with a
determination to win. .l.5.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
mnTBRGIDERNRls:

Of the different attachments of our new family
machine which have secured the attention and ap-
proval of our customers that for embroidering like
the Hemmer, is of the few instruments which
will most please and satisfy the observer of its real
value. It's simple in structure, that any one
who can sew on our machine use it, and without
instruction. 1t may be attached to or detached
from ihe machine in an instant. Without lengthy
description and even then, it would be difficult to
describe the great variety of work that this in
strumentwill do. The reader must not suppose
tn what we speak of is mere chain stitch opera
tion which is sometimes humorously termed en-
broideiy. If desired. three colors of any kind Of
thread may be used at any time. and the colors
or thread may be changed at the will of the opera
tor by removing the spools in use and putting 9TH
ers in their stead thus many as few colors
may be used the operator wishes. in the embro
dering of any garment. great variety of results
are produced by the manner in which the tensions
are regulated. Different results may be produced
while the machine is in motion by simply changing
the tensions Results vary according to the length
of stitches kinds coors and tensions ofthe threads,
as we'll as sizes of the needles used. The Embroi-
derer will any kind of thread The use of zephyr
worsted for certain purposes gives very pleasing
suits In order to get just idea of this valuable
attachment it will be necessary to see it in opera
tion
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15

ECONOMY IN THE Posi- OEFICE
-DEPARTMENT.-The gratifying an
nouncement is made that the reduc-
ton Of expenses of the Fost-office
Department, owing to the discontin-
uance of the usual mail service on
Western and Southern routes, is, up
to date, s734,990, while by other
arrangements the general service
uhas been much improved.
Another report says: The open
ing up of the Pacific Railroad has
enabled the Postmaster General to
save half a million dollars yearly
on the Wells, Fargo & Co. contract.
Z He has also just made such changes
in what is known as the Ell Pasco
contract, viz: from Texas to New
Mexico, as will save 100000
yearly, and such changes in other
frontier routes as reduced expenses
800, ,OOO more.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Democratic Bitterness Toward
ROSecranS.

Ithas become custom sanctioned
by most immemmorial usage, that
when candidates are balloted for in
a political Convention, the one that
has majority of all the votes cast
is declared after his nomination, the
choice ofthe Convention.
In our attendance upon many Demo
cratic and Republican Conventions
we have known scarcely an excep-
ton to this rule The usual motion
that the nomination be made unan1-
nous has not within our reoollec-
ton met with the opposition of a
single vote. 1t is deemed the gener-
Gus, not to say the magnanimous
thing, when a candidate is fairly
nominated to drop all opposition to
him and acquisce in the decision of
a majority Of the Convention.
This compliment, habitually bes-
towed by Democratic Conventions,
of declaring a nomination unani-
nous was refused General Rose
Grams. The Chairman of the Con
ventlon that nominated him, fearing
a too noisy negative, declined at
first to give an opportunity tor the
expression of nexative vote. But
loud and submissive cries Of ''rut
the negative put the negative !''
forced the Chairman to say, call
opposed to making the nomination
unanimous will say no." when a
laundering NO echoed from all parts
of the house. Some estimate the
noes as high as one hundred. 1t has
a most disheartening effect upon the
friends of Rosecrans, that he meets
with such persistent opposition from
members Of the Democratic rarity
in the convention and out of it.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15

the bounds and speak in regard to
any mere partisan issue of the day,
[ rejoice with you that you have an
Administration in power at Wash
ington, and l allude now to your
President : [applausel = which is
faithful to this great country. I
pass by those petty chickering's about
the distribution of patronage, with
the single remark that If he had
been inspired he could not have
satisfied the one-tenth of those who
desired to serve the public in its
Offices ofhonor Or of profit. Loud
applause. That is but slight
ripple upon the wave; for when
you look at the Administration that
is given to you. you find already
shining out upon it, in letters of
glittering light, that word which
you have longed to see in high
places at Washington-that word
that goes to your heart-and that
is, honesty, which is the corner
stone upon which the policy of the
Administration is securely ground
ed. Applause. You know that
whether the President has matc
this man Postmaster, or that man
Collector, or whether he has dis
tributed this vast patronage just
exactly as you, or l, or anybody
else would have desired to have it
distributed, you know that in that
heart which beats in his bosom there
is no thought except for his coun-
try.1o Applause.
And you know besides that YOU
can see written upon the portals of
the White House that other word
which you have longed for in years
past to see, and that is, economy in
the public service. [Applause.
You know that every expenditure is
being cut down. which can be con-
sistently in the public service; that
in every possible way the burdens
upon the public are being reduced,
as far as can be consistently with
our public credit in the payment of
our public debt, as the party that
governs this country intends it shall
be paid, to the uttermost dollar
[ Applause.l And you know, be-
sides, that hereafter, it shall not be
as in recent years of the past, that
the honest Taxpayer shall be COM
PEELED to bear his own burdens and
the burden of dishonest parties.
Nor is this all. Standing as we
do among the nations of the world,
emerging from our recent crisis, in
which we had to fight not only the
Rebellion with its power, but to en-
dure the frown Of almost the entire
civilized world beside-for the mon
archical nations looked at this re-
public as standing protest against
their form of government, and
would rejoice to see it crumble to
ruin-you know, to day, that your
President, in speaking for you and
in your behalf, to the other nations
of the world, speaks with no uncer-
tain voice, but with an emphasis
that demands and receives respect.
! T Applause.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Cur Candidate for Board o1
Public Works.

p co.. ..-f uOlIC "OrkSs
The Canton Republican in review
ing the candidates upon the State
ticket thus speaks Of Richard R.
Porter, the recently nominated
member for Board Of Public w orks ::
Our local pride however is par
tiaularly gratified by the selection of
r. r. Porter as nominee for the
Board of Public Works, in response
to the request of the Republicans of
Stark. 1t is not Only a matter of
congratulation that for the first time
this county is represented on the
general ticket but the peculiar
fitness Of Mr.. Porter for tie posi-
ton is. such that his election to the
Office will justify the wisdom of
those who recommend his choice.
An original and consistent Republi-
can. his experience and influence
+ are so well known that his name
will greatly strengthen the ticket.
Living on the line of the canal,
midway between Massilon and
Akron, the two towns which furnish
so large a proportion of traffic, his
opportunities for observation on
the conduct of public works has
been ample. In short Mr.. Porter is
rendered by sound principles, a
we'll balanced judgment, and life
OF useful and honorable experiences,
just such man as the people OF
Ohio can exalt with credit to them
selves and con6dence that the trust
confded in him will be wisely
administered.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
wThe Cincinnati Cotealic Te

~The Cincinnati CotenHc TEL
egraph says:
1t will be glorious day for Cath
olics in this country when, under
the blows Of justice and morality,
our school system will be shivered
to pieces; until then modern Pagan
ism will triumph.
We have no desire to have re.
ligious element enter into the State
canvass, but in view of such senti-
ments uttered by the Roman Catho-
lie bishop in this State, and of the
relations by blood and religion ex
isting between that bishop and the
Democratic nominee for Governor,
we do not well see how it can be
avoided. We shall stand by our
school system against all assaults
from whatever quarter they may
come.-C Herald.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Democratic Frauds!!
TO BE
Exposed by Levi WiIIoughby, ESQ.,,

ID We are requested to announce
that Mr.. LeviWilloughby, of Kirby,
and late candidate for the nomina
ton of Sheriff at the hands of his
party, will make speech, at Beery's
Hall, on Monday evening, July 26th,
1869. Mr.. Willoughby says: "My
object is to explain the frauds of
office-seekers." He invites men of
all parties to give him a hearing.
Those who listened to him on the
y eve of the last Democratic Primary
Election, will remember that Mr.. W.
possesses capacity to furnish consid-
erable amusement.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15

In another column of this weeks
Republican the name of Sylvester
Watson, Esq, is suggested as can
didate for the Office of County
Commissioner.
From what we know of the bust
ness shrewdness and capacity of
Mr.. Watson, we do not hesitate to
give it as our deliberate opinion
that the tax payers of Wyandot
county could not make a better
selection. T. s.. r-E IL.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15

WE learn from the Bucyrus pa
pers, that the citizens of Bucyrus
are manifesting deep interest in
regard to railroad enterprises. Sew
eral meetings have been held
recently, and an intense deter
mination to secure r. r. line from
Toledo via. Bucyrus to Pomeroy is
manifested. How is it here?
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Harvest Time.

The farmers harvest is now at
hand, and the golden sheaves are
falling, acre by acre.-For the next
ten days harvesting will be all the
rage, and more wheat will be cut in
Allen County than in the past five
years together.-As general thing
the wheat will be got in in good
shape, filling the barns with pleanty,
and making the pocket book Of the
farmer plethoric. with greenbacks.
Verify, the fat Of the land is appar-
ent above these times, notwithstand-
ing the croaking of those never sat
istied spirits of evil that. constantly
pass over the bridges before they
get to them.-Llma Gazette.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
Sad Accident at Maumee City.

The citizens of Maumee City cele
brated the Fourth on Saturday,
and in the evening had a display
of fireworks. In attempting to fire
a rocket, through carelessness it
shot into the crowd of spectators,
struck Mrs. Carroll in the face, tore
off her nose, half Of her upper jaw,
and tore away the flesh from one
side of her face. Her wound was
very severe and painful, and her re-
covery is doubtful.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15

SENATOR A. G.. Thurman has,
without solicitation, rendered one
thousand dollars to the Democratic
State Committee as his contribution
for the approaching campaign.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
For Sale,

DrsMAa's Lots near Harper's new house; and
81. J. FLAcK's 50-acre farm, = mile Of town.
Will trade latter for house and lot.
Has for sale several fine farms in this and
counties; several houses and lots
and other rR towns in the county,
and considerable Real Estate, (town lots,
improved farms and wild lands,) in Hi
nois, Iowa, Kansas, and other West, \
States. All desired inform alton given with
pleasure. touching the property aforesaid.
and will go upon and show the same, Gin
this county,) to persons wishing to buy:
Persons intending to either buy or sell Real
Estate, would do well to call on the un-
dersigned, as he will be enabled at all
times to afford them great facilities.
Mr.. A., as Real Estate Agent, refers by
permission to Hon. o. Bowen, Marion, o..
Messrs. Patten & Wallace, Bankers, Marion
O.; S. Watson, Esq. Cashier First National
Bank, Uppersandusky.
Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-07-15
For Sale.

In-lots and Is, in the town of Nevada,
Wyandot county, O.. situate near the de-
pot. No. Is is a large lot. has frame house
and out buildings, and other good improv-
meuts These are very desirable lots, rap
Idly rising in value and will be sold low
and on time, that is, one-third down, and
the balance in two annual payments.