Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-07-09

a wag says that once on a journey he
was put into sleigh with dozen or
more passengers, not one of whom he
knew, but on turning short corner the
sleigh upset, and then, said he, i found
them all out
Man, says tie anatomist, changes
entirely every seven years. There
fore, said Jones, my tailor will not ask
me for that bill contracted in 1862. |
sm not the same person; hence owe
him nothing
Mark Twain says that the difference
between an American wilderness aud an
African wilderness is, that in one you are
continually surrounded by black bears,
in the other by bare black.
An Irshman was employed 10 trim
some fruit trees. lie went out in the
morning, and on returning ut noon was
asked if be had completed his work.
No., was the reply, "but / have cut
them all down, aud am going to trim
them in the afternoon
A Texas paper says that though court
ING may still 90 on, getting married is
played out there being no one in Office
there who is authorized to perform the
ceremony.
An itinerate, preaching on the De-
pravity of the Age SAID that the little
children who could neither speak nor
walk, were to be seen running about the
streets cursing and swearing.
The Harvard advocate reports the
following as taken from a gravestone in
Maine: Our little Jacob has been taken
away from this earthly garden to bloom
in a superior flower pc; above.
NV DEAR said an affectionate spouse
to her husband, 'am / not your only
treasurer? Yes was the cool reply,
'and l would willingly lay it up in
heaven
sWhat branch of education do you
have chiefly in your schools! "A willow
branch, sir; the master has used up
almost whole tree
1t was an apt answer Of young lady
who being asked where was her native
place, replied: i have none; am the
daughter of Methodist minister
A boy of our acquaintenance is so
exceedingly bright that his father uses
him instead Of a looking glass to shave
by.
A member of temperance society
excused his frequent drinks by saving
that the doctor told him to take liquor
as a medicine, and be never told him to
stop.
A wag Of boarder complained to
the mistress that the sun must have gone
under cloud when the shadow of the
chicken fell into the pot whore her broth
was made.
A little boy, four years old, had been
told that the thunder WAS Gods voice -
One day lately, in the midst of thun-
der storm, he said, very solemnly. i
wish God would not talk to day. He
talks so loud don't like hearing him.
The last aurora boreaIis story is re-
lated by correspondent of New Ha-
ven paper, who looked at the telegraph
wires and saw sparks of electricity hop
along them like enthusiastically small
illumiuat ed toads.'
A wealthy gentleman who owns
country seat. nearly los, his wife, who
fell into river which flows through his
estate. He announced tho narrow es-
cape to his friends, expecting their con-
gratulations. One of them-an old
bachelor-wrote as follows: i always
told you that river was too shallow
A duel is reported in Paris between
an actress and an editor who cri ticised
her performances. She shot off q lock
of bis hair. declared her iDsulted honor
avenged, and all hands adjourned to
bountifnl repast.
A young man, illiterate but polite, on
being invited to attend wedding. sent
a note in response saying: 4 regret that
circumstances repugnant to the acquiesce
will prevent my acceptance of the In
vitc.'
Charles Lever says that Amer
leans are wholly deficient in dignity,
their only idea of it being intense prosi-
ness