The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-06-11
simon short,s Som samuel.

Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes.
Seventeen summers, speeding storms,
spreading sunshine, successfully saw
Simon's small, shabby shop still stand
Ing staunch, saw Simon's self.same
squeaking sign still swinging, silently
specifying: "Simon Short Smithfield's
sole surviving shoemaker. Shoes sewed.
sold superfinely." Simon's spry, sedu-
lous spouse, Sail Short, sewed shirts,
stitched sheets, stuffed sofas. Simon's
six stout, sturdy sons--Seth, Samuel,
Stephen, Saul, Shadrach, Silas-sold
sundries, Sober Seth sold sugar, starch,
spice; sagacious Stephen sold silks,
satins, shawls skeptical Saul sold sill
ver salvers, silver spoons selfish Shad :.
rach sold shoe strings, soap saws, skates;
slack Silas sold Sally Shorts stuffed
sofas. fgW 81
Some seven summers since, Simon's
second son, Samuel saw Sophia Soph-
ronia Spriggs somewhere. Sweet, sem
sible, smart Sophia Sophronia Spriggs.
Sam soon showed strange symptoms.
Sam seldom stayed, storing, selling sad
dies. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought
Sophia Sophronia's society sung several
serenades slyly. Simon stormed, scold.
ed, severely, said Sam seemed SO sill
ly singing such shameful, senseless
songs. -.. .d-
"Strange Sam should slight such
splendid summer sales |" said Simon.
"Strutting spendthrift shatter- Drained
simpleton |" 'n ""..
Softly, softly, sir" said Sally,
"Sam's ssmitten-Sam's spied some sweet
heart" "s.s5 3 u. lauult Hi. -aH,N.
Sentimental school-boy % snarl-
ed Simon. " Smitten Stop such
stuffn o.. .-. i........,... ...... .'..
Simon sent Sally's snuff.box spin
ming, seized Sally's scissors, smashed
Sally's spectacles, scattering several
spools. "Sneaking scoundrel Sans
shocking stiffness shall surcease ! +"
scowling Simon stopped speaking, start
ing swiftly shopward. Sally sighed sad
ly. Summoning Sam, she spoke sweet
sympathy. -|'
"Sam" said she, "sire seems singu-
larly snappy; so, sonny, stop strolling
streets, stop smoking segars, spending
specie superfiuOusly, stop sprucing SO,
stop singing serenades. stop short S, II
saddles, sonny; sell saddles sensibly /;
see Sophia SOphronia Spriggs soon
she's sprightly, she's staple, SO solicit,
sue; secure Sophia speedily, Sam"
$50 soon? so soon?,' said Sam, stand
ing stock still. f
$50 soon !! surely" said Sally, smil-
ing; Especially since sire shows such
spirits" . .N' '.i.. .'.'
So Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered
slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam
soliloquises: .t-'
Sophia Sophronia Spriggs
Short-Sophia Sophronia Short, Samuel
Shorts spouse-sounds splendid! Sup.
pose she should say-She she shan't!
she shan't!" .i. ...t
Soon Sam spied Sophia starching
shirts, singing softly. Seeing Sam, she
stopped starching; saluted Sam smil-
ingly. Sam stammered shockingly.
"Spl-spl-splendid summer season,
Sophia" .. .' u
Somewhat sultry," suggested SO.
phia. csc sI .. s. ".a-
"Sar.sartain, Sophia" said Sam Isl.
lence seventeen seconds.) ....r
Selling saddles still, Sam 2" .' '
"Sar-sar--sartain," said Sam, start
ing suddenly. "Season's somewhat
sudorific," said Sam, stealthily stanch-
ing streaming sweat, shaking sensi-
bly,. ......r .i.r ...
"Sartin, ,'said Sophia, smiling signifi-
cantly. "Sip some sweet sherbet, SAM"
(Silence sixty seconds.)
"Sire shot sixty sheldrakes Saturday."
said Sophia. 5 o. HHH' .e.
"Sixty? sho !" said Sam. (Silence
seventy-seven secOnds.)
"See sister Susan's sunfUwers" said
Sophia, sociably scattering such stiff
silence. 'H
Sophia's sprightly sauciness stimu-
lated Sam strangely; so Sam suddenly
spoke sentimentally "Sophia, Susan's
sunflowers seem saying, Samuel Short,
Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serene
ly, seek some sequestered spot, some
sylvan shade. Sparkling springs shall
sing soulsoothing strains sweet songs
tiers shall silence secret sighing; super
angelic sylphs shall
Sophia snickered so Sam stopped.
Sophia" said ;.am, solemnly.
SAM" said Sophia.
"Sophia, stop smiling, Sam Shorts
sincere, Sans seeking some sweet
spouse, Sophia"
Sophia stood silent.
"Speak Sophia, speak such sus-
pense speculates sorrow" E.u
"Seek sire, Sam, seek SIRE" ....
So Sam sought sire Spriggs. Sire
Spriggs said, "Sartin." :"