Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-02-12


In tie nursery time Of cur life, lies Of small
magnitude We called '' 'solies," aai we have
sadly Learned -Lce. that stories are very often
lies and a grote-gue -.ory-an oii or funny
cne-.s destined, if puc may say So, to short
Immortality.
Many stories tllt have b,1n walking up and
down tie elrth since the fool. are tod today of
Evin. patlic men, as uuloub,ei and yeritahle
history Many standing jokes are trlceable to
the Middle Age. they re-lppear IN Roman histo-
rv. and may De found again ia Oh Greek antholo-
eies. and probably the Greeks borrowed them
from vet older people, aui they from the ante
diuyaus Ii adds 90 the relish Of these prinli-
tive Joe Millers TO hear them Tecitel by some
innocent friend. with guarantee, " ba0ir that
this story is true, for il happened TO Deacon
Blossom, in my native town, and was present .''
And here arises a very curious question, which
Prof Porter, iu his recent admirable treatise on
Mental Philosophy, seems 10 have investigated
in a manner hot worthy Of his usual thorough
uess-the question, we mean, whether man
can remember o. thing which never happened TO
him.
At first sight any one VIII sly he cannot. But
such q judgment VIII force great many good
men and women into gulf of fts. Either peo-
pie can distinctly remember what never happened
To them, or else thc ,tanlIrl AMI staple jokes II
society are su.taiHcl by f,lse witnesses
We draw back from such an uHch1r.table con-
struction. AMI ayow our belief that under pecu-
liar conditions man may remember, distinctly,
not only what never happened to him, but things
that never happened az all!
4 case in our history shall illustrate this mat
ter. Some eighteen or nineteen years ago, soon
after our coming TO Brooklyn, We heard the ioi-
lowing story told Of the now venerable DR..
.-F fr--fIfnn~
ines, a. well as Of Bishop Cox, Of western New
York The story ran thus ''On a Sunday
morning in August, DR.. Cex, rising to the ser
mon, without warning or prefix, began, 1t Is
ID hot Looking around in calm and pious
way. he wipei his forehead, and again said, 1t
is I'D hot. Waiting until he thought the
words had burnt in, he prCceeie iet, These words,
my brethren. | heard from the lips Of a profane
Young man as ! entered the doors Of the church.
Ihercupon, the story goes, he proceeded to give
an edifying discourse on the sin and folly Of pro-
fame swearing
When We first heard II, We recognized the
story. 1t was an Old acquaintance. II had been
doing service in England. 1t was tod Of Rev.
Rowland Hill, only in his case, the topic was not
the ueafher, but the theatre, on which the young
mans profanity was expended. But stock sto
ries, ike couriers, like to change horses. Before
nor have we ever been able to shake it off. We
have denied It, twice in print, many times by
letter. and a hundred times in conversation, all
in vain. The saddle sticks and every month we
find a new fool riding in it. Il turns up in
newspapers periodically. 1t runs the rounds Of
neighborhools Some people are delighted with
the smartness Of it, and % would walk fifty miles
to hear that man prea n - and others are shock
ell at such impiety, and mournfully shaking their
heads, declare that it would be g breaking sun
day to hear such fellow preach"
The story was sent to Us from England, our
name and all. We saw it in California paper.
II has been travelling and swearing in France
and Germany though We don't understand a
profane word in either language,-and if that
Yankee Chinaman, Mr.. Burlingame, would only
tell the trHth We believe that he has seen the
very story, my name and all, crooked up and
grinning in those celestial hieroglyphics which
adorn tea chests and Chinese pictures. Indeed,
it is ike to be the chief memorial Of our life
We are informed that in outermost places, on
hearing our name, men say, "Ah, yes, we know
him That's the man that said, IT'S ID
hot - '"
What is to be lone9 Here is a mild and we'll
behaving minister, with a story fixed on him
that he cannot unbuckle, not cut, nor unite, nor
rub off, Alas is this the punishment OF some
of our boyish freaks Of mischief We fear Once,
when annoyed by a neighbor's flock Of geese, we
fed them with corn, to certain kernels Of which
shor; strings were tied with bits Of paper at
tached When a grain was swallowed, the paper
with each movement Of the goose, bobbed up
behind him and at him In few minutes the
ao,k were racing and flying and squaking, each
with his paper whirling close behind him. Is
this story whizzing behind US in like manner
and for punishment
II Is not. however, the story that afiicts us
II is the pious affection Of good people, who,
every wear or two, have a fit Of correspondence
come over them. and ply US with letters of in