Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-12-09
An Unpleasant situation.

hilI lllN AulI SEX
1T once happened, not very long
:. ago either, that Johns father had
some very important business to
y transact in the city, he had also
q some very particular business to
attend to at home, which demanded
q his personal attention, and not
I possessing the power Of unbiquity,
| he delegated his son John to trans
act that in the city.
T, John being thus commissioned,
Immediately proceeded to the city,
and to the residence Of his father $
old friend, whom he found to be n
very nice old gentleman with q
beautiful daughter and gold specta-
cles.
John was ushered into the par
lor, "a new thing for him) and mo-
toned to seat--no, a sofa( anoth-
er new thing
But wemust use his own Ian
guage; | took my seat and made
obsel vations. Everything was fine !
Fine carpets, fine sofas, fine tables,
fine curtains, fine pianos, fine every
thing, and especially a fine young
lady who dressed in fine silk, fine
!. satin, and who had fine curls, and
fine appearance generally. After
| chatting with the old gentleman q
few minutes, he took down bis hat
told me to make myself at home
for an hour or two, and left--left
me alone with his daughter and d
young mischievous boy, the lady's
brother. ! didn't relish the situa-
ton at all. The idea Of keeping q
city belle engaged in conversation
for two hours-perdition! Silence
reigned in the parlor for a short
time you bet. ! amused myself as
much as possible with the boy
that is l loaned him my knife and
watch key, and watched him cut
holes in the carpet with one, and
spoil the other. l don't know what
l should have done had it not been
for that boy-he was so good to
attract ones attention, you know.
1t is true he asked some startling
questions occasionally, sush as this
care you going to court sister
Emily y bnt such things are to be
expected under such circumstances.
Miss Emily thinking no doubt,
that to be a good hostess she must
keep her guest engaged in CONVEX
sation, asked me how liked coun>
| try lire, &c, She said it must be d
beautiful sight to see the labofers,
male and female, romping on the
new mown hay on New Years day;
that she always did think she would
like to spend a Christmas in the
country nut gathering with the
village lads and lasses that it had
always been a mystery to her how
they got eggs off the trees without
breaking them, &c.
In return, | thought, to keep my
part of the conversation up, it was
necessary for me to quote poetry
and the like which l did. Among
other quotations l unfortunately re-
nqatad the we'll know lines Of
Shakespeare:
There's divinity that shapes our ends,
Rough hew them as we will"
AT this juneture the boy who had
perched himself upon my knee,
looked very earnestly and said
Divinity shaped the end of your
nose mighty Gurus"
am certain that 1 wished some.
body would spank the young ras.
cal. We talked of hills, mountains,
Wales, cataracts-I believe / said
waterfalls, when the boy spoke up
and said:
"Why sisters got trunk full of
'em up stars; pap says Jhey re
made out of hess hair"
This revelation struck terror into
me, and bushes into the cheeks of
my fair companion.
1t began to be very apparent to
me that l must be very guarded in
what said, lest said boy might slip
in his remarks at unealled for pla-
ces; in fact ! turned my attention
to him. l told him he ought to go
home with me, and see what nice
chickens we had in the country
Unluckily l mentioned a yoke of
calves my brother owned,
The word calves, ruined all. The
little fellow looked up and said;
" Sisters got a dozen of them,
but she don't wear 'em only when
she goes up town on windy days"
Leave the room, unmannerly
little wretch p exclaimed Emily,
'leave Immediately"
| know what you want me 10
leave the room for" replied he,
''you can't fool me-you want to
set in that mans lap and kiss him,
like you did Bill Simmons the other
day-you can't fool me, I'll ies' tell
YOU. Gimme some candy like
lie did, and I'll go. You think be-
cause you've got the Grecian Bend
that you're smart. Guess / knowa
thing or two. / am mad at you,
anyhow, cause pap would a bought
me a top yesterday, if it hadn't a
been fer you getting them curls,
dog gone yerl You needn't turn
red in the face, cause / cant see
the paint. There amt no nse in
winking at me with that glass eye
of vourn, cause l amt going out'n
here. now that's what's the matter
with the purps. l dent care if
YOU are twenty-eight years old, you
ain'tno boss of mine, you old fool"
That is all Of the story that John