Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-02-19
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A GEORGIA NEGRO WEDDING MI
ieoge' Ga.) Federal Union gives the fol-
ioI h account Of negro wedding: Dear
y beloved bredcrin and sisteripe we had
met togedder here, dis mite, in vo1,r nreoan NOV
ana desc spectacle white folks. to ;;ne ~
geddar dis gemman and dis lady. what are
stanln tore me, in de holy bon. Of matr;mos
%h.t M mo wa als mafrlmony.. amt greenbacks,
s wnat We nab u; to buy something to eat wild
ana don't spec you hab much of dat sort
G1uer' out 1t am money what come down from
necen' what God fus give to Adam and
i've IN Paradise. Please sense d;s ara.s;an
from H de ,sublec Dis matrimony is said nv
d. raul as honorable in all men and snec;,
any wild colored gemmen and ladies' Nov
It any of you brederin and sister;no b.ra IN
ae , presence essence of dis spectacle company know
any reason why dis gemman and dis lady
may not be jined togedder in matrimonyyy.
you Will now let me know. or foreber here
at'ef hoid your mouf (Will dat lady dar to
my rlght' please stop takin' while 1 is form
ing u's lhtefessen ceremony caus it puts me
out. Now you two standin before me pres
ent' axes you, if you knows any good rea--
son why you may not be jined.. togedder;
you 40 now speak, for if dar is any reason
CIV IT. you will hab to glib count hereafter
ana dis marriage won't stan good (Will dat
"mte oman ODER dar before me, stop larfin.
case taint spectacle and bodders me p Mr.
hlng Will you hab dis lady stanin by your
side, to be your welded wife, to lib togedder
IN de holy state of matrimony? Yes. sar.
Wlll you Tub her, comfort her, obey her, and
4ofsakln all udder omen dat you bin hank
erin arter, and stick only to her, as long as
you Ito on dis earth =? Yes sar. (Sister Neal
please stop dat bottle extract de pole cat, as
1t am noxous to oil factory nerbes of desc
white folks here present. Now letme 90 on.
Miss Agnis will you hab dis man stanen by
your side, for your welded husban i? Yes sir.
Will you Tub him, and sarve him, will YOU
obey him-will you obey him in sickness and
in health Yes, sir (Brudder Brown. dat
oil can must be open, from de cent in dis
room: will you blige dis company by stop
pin it up y Miss Agnis, will you forget all
de udder men what been maxim lub to Won.
and cleave only to dis one, as long as Won
bot lib toogedder !? Yes. Eff you bof gree to
dis bargin. you will jine your right hans to-
gedder. Dose whom God has jined togedder
let no pussen put sunder. I now denounee
you man and wife, in de name of de farder
una oe son and de holy gost Let us pray.
A certain Sunday school teacher was in
the habit Of making collection in the ju-
venile class for missionary objects. He was
not little surprised one day to find coun-
tertelt shilling among the coppers, and on
asking the class who put it there, the donor
was pointed out to him by one who had seen
him deposit it Didn't you know that it
was good for nothing ?" said the teacher. =
"Yes," answered the boy. s'Then what did
you put it in the box for 2" The boy eoolly
replied, II, didn't spose the little heathans
would know the difference, so I thought it
would be just as good for them"
Not a great while ago, the school commit
tee of a town in neighboring State met for
the purpose of examining candidate who
presented himself as preceptor to teach the
young idea how to shoot. After some in
terrogatories, the following geographic cal
question was asked-''In what zone do you
live?' ''Zone zone do you think a man of
my education lives in zone? live in a
house" =. 9'
SAGE ADVICE. Never pay bill on first
presentation-it would look as if YOU were
ostentatious Of honesty. At the second time
Of presenting you may consider about it, and
say "ca1l again" Third or fourth time YOU
may be either not at home or out of money
and should the creditor call fifth, you NAV
have fair reason to be offended at his per-
tnacity, and not pay the bill at all. "a
II wish I had your head" said lady
one day to a gentleman who had solved for !
her knotty point. Sand [ wish I had
your heart" was his reply. "Well," said
she. "since your head and my heart can |
agree, don't see why they should not 90
into partnership" And they did. II II
4 New Orleans lawyer, the other day,
who was defending case against a railroad
company, for running over and manning |
child. gravely told the jury that if they |
awarded damages. the people Of New Orleans |
would eternally be sending their children in |
the street to be run over. p. mos
A thick-skulled schoolboy had the sen. |
tence, "Hope on, hope ever % written for
him copy by his teacher. Imagine the |
surprise Of the latter when upon examining |
the youngsters autographed evolutions he |
found it rendered thus: "Hop on, hop |
over %
Aunt Betsey was trying to persuade little
Jack TO retire al spnaet. using as an argu-
ment that all the little chickens went to roost |
at that time. eyes, said little Jack, 'but |
the old hen always goes with them" Aunty |
tried no more arguments with him. ,el30
When Lamb was clerk in a mercantile
house, his employer complained to him that |
he was down late in the morning. "Well,"
replied Lamb, s'if late in the morning, Il 90 |
earl in the afternoon" I'll 1
A new hand in Boston shop made ter
ribly rough work in shaving customer. =
When the haggling ended, the victim asked !:
Ibid you ever shave anybody before ?"--
ayes. sir" sab! Did the man live ~
A Kentuekian being asked how much corn
he raised. answered. ''About ten barrels Of
whisky, besides what we waste for bread. !"
"We're in pickle now,' said a man in a
crowd. "a regular jana,':: said another.--
"Heaven prese'7e us" moaned an old lay.
Why is opening sealed letter like avery
novel way of getting into a room :? Because
is breaking through the ceiling, (sealing. }