The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-02-05

|
carded from the tanyards, and Sigh
sprinkllng of powdered cdnaabiS i,dica
appears most suitable. BY request,
member of Congress from the Soutl
furnished us with u specimen bushel o
peculiarly rich quartzose gravel whicl
abounds in his district, which, upon tri
al, we regret to say, proved too nutriti
Gus, clogging and .retarding the anima
| with unnecessary obesity and fat. Thu
the immense superiority of these ami
mal-engines over locomotives in the re
lative cost of working them, is at one,
apparent, and need not be CONNIE nteC
upon.
| For the present, owing to the grea
slope of the back of the Camelopardrich
and the incessant movement of the Os.
| tri-Giraffee's wings while in motion, we
| shall be compelled to fasten the mai
bags to their tails. But cargo.of Kan.
| garoos, consigned to us, is now on its
way from Australia, with which. when
they shall have arrived, by further
extension oil the interinarriage princi-
pie, al eady so successfully carried out,
we are certain ofproducing still more
brilliant Free Love triumph in the for
nation of Ostri-G Giraffes and Camclo-
pardriches, provided by nature with
pouches for containing the mail-bags or
packages, or whatever else it may be
desirable to transmit. We need hardly
say that we do not propose to compete
for the passenger traffic. The 0stri-
Giraffekangs and the Camelogaroo-
pardricAcs, ,:having these pouches,w will, of
course, be provided with tails, even
more powerful than those of the sim.
pie Ostri Giraffe and Camelopardrich,
and these tails being no longer encum-
bered with mail bags, and being still
furnished with the broad fans at their
tips, will be at liberty to operate in ac-
celebrating the s,,eed of the animal,
which viii be leaping, running, fly ing,
and sailing (under the influence Of tile
tanning process a posteriori.) all at the
same time, 1t isproper to state. in this
connection, that, by curious and ad-
mirable anatomical arrangement, the
tails In question have muscular con-
nection with the wings, so that they
move simultaneously, ane that, in con-
sequence Of the ginglymoid or knee
joint, or pump-handie conformation OF
the joint at the socket of the tail, 1t IS
capable OF being moved only in verti-
cal direction. thus securing, invariably,
the posteriori tanning and accelerating
impulse above mentioned. 1t is calcu-
lated that the acceleration t..us gained
will be equivalent to at least 8 miles
per hour. making the speed of the Ostri-
80 miles an hour, al the
lowest estimate, aud thai of the Came
logaroopardrlch 20 miles an hour, also
at the lowest estimate
inns description, though somewhat
tedious. gives no adequate conception
OF the really admirable compound ami
ilais we are now prepared 20 furnish
the public, Personal, ocular inspection
alone can do this. and we anxiously So
liclt such Inspection. But we trust we |
nave said enough to convince the most |
naterialistic and skeptical railroad
and even the Honorable Post
master General himself, that a cheap
ina an efficient substitute for snow
)loughs and locomotives has been in
rented. Indeed. we do not hesitate to
lfiirm that these animals afford the on
y possible security yet devised against
ne delays, the vexations, and the pecu-
ilary losses, to say nothing of the losses
u lie incident to the snow storms OF the
approaching cold cycle.
But, looking to the spiritual aspect of
ms subject, what monuments of the
siory OF the great doctrine of Free-L Love
hese noble creatures are 1t was to be
expected that the first resolute, pr cti-
al experiment at Free-Love propaga-
ION would rebound TO the honor of the
doctrine, but 1t was not to be expected
nat advantages SO opportune as the
lnge .jointed, fan-expanded tail and
he we5ued feet, with the certainty ofa
'iture pouch, would result. 1t would
eem that the spirits attached to the q.
4. ). Z. A. Manufacturing Company,
II of whom are rapping. writing and
peaking mediums, took especial pains
0 make the issue OF the first grand ex.
eriment remarkable beyond all antici-
alton. 1t would seem, also, that the
)stri-Giraffe and the Camelopardrich
'ere miraculously designed to enco,r-
ge the Free-Lover. To what incalcu-
ably beneficial DEVELOPMENTS in the
nimal kingdom, including the human
ace, do they not point, When, i'm the
ear future, the great doctrine of Free
.ove shall cover the earth as the waters
over the sea, and when the terrestrial
hall exactly resemble the spiritual
phere, where there is neither marry
lg nor giving in marriage But we
annot enlarge on this point.
AS the most severe winter ever expe-
fenced in this country is rapidly ap- ,
reaching, and as the lot of Ostri-Gi- |
affes and Camelopardriches now on !
and is somewhat limited, we would
rye upon railroad men the propriety .
s,nding in their orders at once. The |;
!. NJ. 5. T. A. Manufacturing Compa-
y S purely benevolent association, ,
often up with no view of making mo-
ey, but the enormous expenses to
'hich the company is subjected, and
le necessity the company labors under
providing fund for the propagation
an indefinite series of Patent AMI
'als, renders 1t necessary for them to
ake their charges considerably higher
IAN they could wish. 1t must be re-
rendered, also, that these animals,
ke all mules, are incapable of inter-
recreation, making constant replen
hment of the stock of Ostriches and
iratfes. and, we may add, of Kanga-
'os, indispensably Unavoidable
evertheless. we are prepared to furn- !
h our animals at a cost far below that
first class locomotive engine. A
tier, addressed as below, and contain
g 10000 in cash, or approved paper.
ill secure an Ostri Giraffe, warranted
'und, with full Instructions for its
anagement, printed on parchment;
1T as the Ostri-Giratfe is comparative !
use less without companion Came
pardrich, it would be well for parties
ssiring to purchase, to send 100000 in
Ish, or approved paper, for which sum o
9TH animals will be promptly forward b
to any para of the Union or the n
free of charge.
N. B,-We neglected to mention that a
e Ostri-Giraffe is given to an inces- e
mt and fierce cackling, resembling ?
at OF an enormous goose in state Of
sense and unappeasablc rage; while,
! the other hand, the Cameopardrich h
no less active in uttering continually s
chril, and niprpiur hrav TIT, =. :