davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

EMBARRASSING.--A gentlemanly
agent of certain city was collecting
Iares from the passengers Of very full
omnibus one morning. All paid prompt
ly except one fat old lady, who sat next
the door, and who seemed to be reach
ing down as if to get some thing she
had dropped on the floor. When her
time came to pay she raised her head
and thus addressed the blushing youth:
81 alters, when / travels, carry my
money in my stockin, for you sees,
nothing can get at it thar, and I'd thank
you, young man, jist to reich it for me,
as Pm so jammed in that l can't 'tgittoit."
The youth looked at the other passen-
gers, some of whom were laughing, at
his plight; one or two young ladies
among them blushed scarlet, and he
beat Il sudden retreat, muttering some
thing about not charging old ladies, etc.
His cash was short that morning the
fare Of one passenger.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
MiSffllanfnns.
LIFE In THE BACK-WOODS.
Old Jimmy waddIe's First Courtship.

"TALKIN' o'sprees, boys, puts me in
mind o. my young days. should rath-
er guess | was in for 'cm some myself
them times"
This was said by an old man, whom
we will introduce as Mr.. James Wad-
die, or rather as "old Jim Waddle."
Everybody, Except the reader) knows
him and his penchant for yarns spinning.
1t was the evening Of IA militia training
day; there were a goodly number, after
the company was dismissed from duty,
who were lounging around, and all
gathered around the aforesaid old Jim,
ready begun the prelude, and only
waited for somebody to urge him to go
on. This there were enough to do. He
then inquired what they would have
'one of his huntin' or courtin' sprees ?'
The boys unanimously demanded the
latter. Then, after requesting that none
of them should laugh till he got through,
with few preparatory hens, and an
assumption ofa comically grave face,
he commenced: | wish | could report
in his inimitable language, cerJatim ct
| Merdtint.
"When were boy, you know, dad
dy moved from Virginia to Kaintuck.
I'd been born and fouch up on the from
teers, and Kaintuck was paradise for
me to hunt bars and Ingins in. But /
forgot, you want "A courtin' story. Well
altho' was always cuttin' up some
deviltry among the boys, yet, somehow,
was II little shy and skeery amongst
the gals. / liked the critters prodig-
iously; but about the only way could
manage to show it, was by castin'
sleeps eyes in abundance at 'em. We
had meetins as well rs frolics, some
times. While the preacher was preach
in tender hcartedness, brotherly- kind.
ness and love,I wasn't thinkin' o. moth
in else. | used to set where | could
look the gals in the face-and then gaze
at some purity one till she'd blushed as
red as II pepper-pod. Then l felt Sc
queer about the gizzard, and wish'd al
earthquake would come and throw me
right in her lap, i was in love, but
couldn't tell who | loved most. There
was Peggy Masonhammer, mighty
line gal, even in her tow-linen frock
her cheeks war rs full rs China pigs,
and as red as turkey gobbler's; and
then thar was Sally Perkins, with hel
gloriously striped home made cotton
frock, besides her ha'rand eyes as black
as ink; and then thar was dimple
checked, blue ey'd Lottie Smith, wht
always toted her shoes and stockin's il
her hands till she got in sight OF meet
in. Well, o. these three | couldn't tell
for my life, which l liked best-sOme
.. times one and sometimes another, bu
| alters the last one looked at.
r "But when Squire Crunpton come t
I, our diggins, his two gals took the shin
|. of the rest on EN-, specially the oldes
: one, Betsy. l shan't attempt TO dc
|, scribe her; but when / tell you she ha
B. n calico irock, with yaller flowers, 4
y big as your hands, brass ar-bobs, bt
o sides half-a-dozen strans o. beads, a
large MS the end of your little finge
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

A JOKE ON A HOTEL KEEPER.-One
of our Portland hotel keepers was not
long since victimized in the following
manner: A. b. went to him and en-
gagged board by the week at $40 per week.
"Now," said A. b., 81 may be absent
occasionally; what deduction will you
make for that ?" Fifty cents meal
and fifty cents a lodging" replied the
landlord. Time wore on and A. B.was
sometimes there, and sometimes not.
After while the landlord presented
his bill for three weeks board-S3O. In
a short time A. A.B.appeared with coun-
ter bill of deduction for meals and lodg-
ings, missed. Meals eaten, three, S1.50 !;
lodgings, seven, $50; meals missed, six
ty, $50 lodgings missed, fourteen, 81
balance in favor Of A. b., 81. The land
lord, of course, was little astonished
at the result Of the reckoning, and there
fore said not a word, for the best OF
reasons, that he couldn't think of any
thing that would do justice to the sub
ject. Whereupon A. b., to relieve the
landlords perplexity, remarked with
cool urbanity, "well, never mind the
80; III take it out in board" The land
lord couldn't see how to keep even with
such a boarder, and so the connection
between him and ABB, as landlord anC
boarder, came to an end.-POrtLaBt
Ore9onian.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
Ch'oift Pnetry.

BY HENRY II. GOODRICH.

What wreck and ruin War hath made
Around thy fields fair Gettysburg
As II with mattock, hoe and spade,
Death here had delved, thy fields had dug,
To make n fitting burial bed
For heroes slain,-the glorious dead
How changed thy tranquil harvest-scene,
Where he beneath h Is iron heel
Hath crushed to earth Its living greon
Hath held wild revelry OF steel,
Ofblood and carnage DER its sod
ANation's holocaust to Godi
How woke the stiffness of thine air,
AS rumbllng drum and shrllly nfe
And banners waving free and fair.
Announced the coming of that strife,
Which, for all time, shall make thy name
Like Marathons-Plateas fame!
And when the iron storm was o'er.
The vanquished from the field had fed,
And thousands lay in weltcrng gore
The wounded, dying, and the dead
Twas then thy painful task to see
How dear-bought was the victoryl
TIL unnumbered dead, that round thee lay
Like harvest sheaves by reapers bound;
The fair-haired boy, and veteran grey,
Locked in that sleep that hears no sound,
Nor echoes OF the fiery plain,
Nor martial trump, shall rouse again.
The moan, the plaint OF dy ing men,
Which they in Natures feeblcness
Could ll-repress nor yet as when
Earths glories fade to nothngness;
Their parting words, their last farewell
Ere from their lips no accents fell.
The shattered forms ofhuman life;
They who from out the sulphurous smoke,
The battles rage and fiery strife,
As blasted by the lightning's stroke,
stood forth OF beauty, strength bereft,
Naught hut their country's honors LETT
And all the sad havoc of the field:
The wild debris all trodden down,
Had 1t been spared the sickle's yield;
The soldiers vestments widely strown,
And sword, and muslSet, bayonet,
Stained with his blood and CORY wet.
The noble, gallant steed o'erthrown;
Prone to the earth which late his heel
Had spurned-whence from his nostrls blown
The breath OF war-by broken wheel
And caisson, cannon, shot and shell,
Where they in shattered ruin fell.
But yetagain the summers bloom
Shall deck thy graves all sodless now;
With ranker growth the hero's tomb
Where OFT had broke the stubborn plough,
AS ifsweet Natures .tindly hand
Henceforth would own thou rt hallowed land
Above thy Ccmetery's height,
Where thou hadst laid thy village dead
Where waged the conflicts nercest fight,
And blood OF bravest men was shed
Perhaps the marbles fame shall rise
And point in grandeur toward the skies.
But with thy charming landscape blent
Memorials OF the eventful hour,
And each nobler monument
Than sculptured stone OF sculptor's power
Wolf Hill and Round Top proudly stand,
And bound thy scene on either hand.
Yet, Muse OF the Historic page,
Immortal as her art divine,
Shall best preserve, from age to age,
Thy records in her burning line,
Defyng Times defacing rust
That crumbles marble cen to dust.
Inspired by her, oft to thy wales,
Thy woody heights. thy murmring streams
Her votariesshall come, thy tales
Tohear and gaze in penslve dreams
Upon each consecrat ed spot,
Where sleep thy brave, forgotten not.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
A Dull Clerk.

Pickernal, a successful dry goods mer-
chant of Boston, was waited upon at
his hotel by gentleman farmer who
was desirous of getting boy, for whom
he was guardian, "plaee" in Boston
of course he was an uncommon smart
boy, quick in figures, strong of intui-
ton aud one every way flt,as he should
Judge, to become merchant. Picker
nal thought it over, and said he would
try and make place for him. In due
time the boy arrived at Pickernels
store, his broad face ruddy with health,
and soapy from the morning wash, his
hair slicked, his clothes new and un-
comfortable, and stiff dickey cutting
his ears. He announced himself as the
boy, &c.
"Ah, you are the boy, are you?" said
Pickernel.
"Yes, 1 s'pose So" replied youngster.
"Well, come in here, then; am very
busy, but l will examine you in few
practical questions"
The boy came in and sitting down on
the desk, swung his heels underneath it
as though he felt entirely at home, wait
ing the questions.
"Well," said Pickernel, "suppose a
lady should come in here, and buy a
dress of fifteen and a half yards of cali
co at eleven and half cents a yard,
what would it come to"
The boy looked at his questioner, at
the ceiling, at the floor, in state of
great bewidcrment.
GLOW much caliker?" he asked.
"Fifteen and half yards"
"What price?"
"Eleven and half cents.n
He thought a moment.
"Well," said he, "I'm darned if !
b'lieve any woman ever wanted so much
cloth for dress as that"
This was throwing up the sponge, and
Pickernel put another question.
"How much would five and hall
pounds of tea come to at seventy.fve
and three quarter cents per pound ?"
He received this pretty much the
same as the other, and after waiting q
minute, he asked
"Was ii green or black tea 2"
Without answering, Pickernal put an
other question
"Suppose should send you out will
a two dollar bill, and you should bu!
fourteen and half pounds of beef a
seven and half cents q pound, how
much money would you have left ?"
The boy looked at him for an instan
and then INDUCED in low whistle.
"You don't s'pose," said he, "you car
get beef anywhere at seven and hal
cents a pound, do YEP"
Pickernel gave up at this. He aske,
him no more questions, but sent hir
back next day with a.letter, stating tha
, he didn't think he would ans,cer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

A BACKwooDs ApVENTURE.-AN Nir-
ginia banker, who was chairman of
noted intidel club, was once travelling
through Kentucky, having bank bills
to the amount of aboutS25, 900 When he
came to a lonely forest where murder
ers and robbers were said to frequent
he was soon lost, through taking the
wrong road.
The darkness of the night came over
him and how to escape from the threat
| ening danger he knew not. In his alarm
he suddenly espied in the distance,
n dim light, and urging his horse on
ward, he mt length came to Il Wretched
cabin. lie knocked, and the door was
opened by IA womah, who said that her
husbank was out hunting, but would
soon return. The gentleman put up his
horse and entered the cabin, but with
feelings that can be better imagined
han dies cribed. Here he was, with a
large sum of money, and perhaps in the
house of one of the robbers whose name
was terror to the country.
In a short time the man OF the house
returned. He had on deer skin shirt,
Il bear skin cap, much iatigued, and in
no talkative mood. He felt for pistols
in his pockets and placed them so rs to
be ready for instant use.
The man asked the stranger to retire
to bed but he declined, saying he would
sit by the fire all night. The manhrgcd,
| nj n nrunn
the ipfidel was alarmed. He felt as
sured that this was his last night upon
earth, but he determined to sell his lifo
as dearly as he could. His infidel prin-
ciples gave him no comfort. His fear
grew into agony What was to be
done?
At length the backwoodsman arose,
reached to the wooden shelf, took down
an old book and said:
"Well, stranger, if you won't go to
bed, l will; but it is my habit to read
chapter of the Holy Scriptures before l
go to bed,"
What a change these words produced.
Alarm was at once removed from the
! skeptic's mind. Though avowing him
self an intidel, he now had confidence
in the Bible. lie felt that man who
kept an old Bible in his house, and benz
) his knees in prayer, was no robber OF
: murderer. He listened to the paryer OF
the good man, at once dismissed his
t fears and laid down, in his rude cabin
g and slept as calmly as he did under hi
Il fathers roof.
s From that time he ceased 10 revilt
- the good old Bible. He became sim
/. cere Christian, and often related IN
n story of his eventful journey, to prov
the folly of inhdelity.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

A YOUNG lady who had just purchas-
ed a watch and wanted to show it, was
shopping at dry.goods store in Spring
field, a few days since Drawing it
forth with flourish, and glancing at it
and the young man who was waiting
upon her, she inquired: "Can you tell
me what time the 10 O'Clock train starts
for Northampton" "About noon,' p
very quietly replied the young man
"Ah, indeed (! then ] have just fifteen
minutes"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

DIDN'T LIKE THE IDEA.-A little
girl at one of our Sunday Schools was
told by her teacher that she must be
good little girl in order that when she
died she might become an angel. She
replied that she did not want to be an
angel. On being asked why, she replied
that she didn't wish "to take Off her
pretty clothes and wear fedders like
hen" She is sister to the little boy who
didn't want to "be born again, for fear
he might turn out girl" There is no
hope for these two children.
"The good died young,
While those whose lives are dry as sum-
mer's dust
Burn TO the socket"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
EXCHANGE HOTEL,
BLooNspuRG, COLUMBIA CO., PA.

The undersigned having purchased this we'll
known and centrally located house, the Exchange
Hotel, situate ON MAIN srREEl, In Bloomsbury
immediately opposite the Columbia county Court
House, respectfully inform their friends aud the
Tor the reception and entertainment of travellers
who NAY be disposed To favor II with their Gus
tom. They have spared no expense in preparing
tho Exchange tur the ntertainment oftheir irguests
neither shall there be anything wanting on their
house is spacious, and enjoys an excellent busi-
ne ~ location.
Dmnibuses run at all times between the Ex-
change Hotel aud the various railroad depots, by
which travellers will be pleasantly conveyed To
and from the respective stations n due time to
meet the cars. kOONS CLARK,
BlooMshurg, April 3, 1858.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

MIR. AVERY, of Mobile, gives the la
test instance OF the wonderful intelli.
gencc of the redeemed and reconstruct
ed African. Avery had case in court
and colored boy for witness. "Do you
know the nature, obligations and re-
sponsibilities of an oath ?" sharply
asked the judge. "Yes, sir, responded
Scipio Africanus. swell, then, what
do you think would be done with you
of you were to swear to lie?" "Dunno
unless it might be the radicals would
run me for Congress" Sharp boy that.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
Religious Column,
THE HEAVENLY CITY.


Ikn ow her walls are jasper, her palaces arc fair,
And to the sound Of harpings the saints are
singing there;
I know that living waters flow under faithful
trees
But ah to make my heaven it needcth more
than these.
Read on the sacred story; what more doth it un-
fold,
Besid es the peraly gateways and the streets of
shining gold?
No temple hath that city for none is needed there;
No sun nor moon enlghteneth; can darkness,
then be fair?
All! now the glad revealing, the crowning Joy of
all,
what need of other sunlight where God is all in
all:
He nlls the wide ethereal with glory all His own,
He whom my soul adoreth, the Lamb amid the
throne!
o, heaven without my Saviour would be no
heaven to me;
Dark were the walls of jasper, raylcss the crystal
sea;
He gilds earth darkest valley with Hight and joy
and peace;
What then must be the radiance when night
and death shall cease?
Speed on, tagging moments! Come birthday
of the SOUL
How long the night appeareth; the hours how
slow they roll?
How sweet the welcome summons that groets
the willing bride!
And when mine eyes behold him | shall be sat-
isGed.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
/ AIDES FANCY FURS!

TlS Arch Street, Middle Of the block, between 7th
and Slh street south Side, Philadelphia. In.
porter Manufacturer and Dealer In ali kinds and
quality Of
FANCY FuRS FOR LADIES AND chill
DREN'S WEAR.
Having enlarged rcmodced and improved my
old and mvorably known FlR EMfokluM,and
sortmpnt Of All the different kinds Of Furs nom
FIRST hands In Europe, ana have HAD lhehi made
up by the most skillful workmen, ! would res
pectiully invite my fTieuds of columbia aud ad'
Jacent Counties, 10 call and examine my very
large and beautiful assortment Of fHn'S Fuls
Tor Ladies' and Children, l am determined "
soil at as low prices as any other rtsp',Hlhle
House in this city. All FuIs Warranted NJ
JOHN FARElRA,
octr09-lm. us Arch st., Philadelphia
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
y o o X S II o r. e.
nEAFNESS. BLINDNESS AND

~ Catnrrh treated with Il @ utmost success, by
j. IsAAcs, NJ. H., and Professor OF Diseases Of Tie
hJe aud Ear (hiS Speciaiyl ia The Medical CoHege
Of PonHSyitdnid II pears experience, formerly or
Leyden, llollandD No so Arch street, fhlia,
Testimonials can he seen at his office. The medl-
cal faculty are invited to accompany their pa
tients Hs he has no secrets in his practice, Ar
tlncial eyes inserted without pain No charge
tor examination.
Jan. 49, 'G9.-lNr
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05
HOTELS, &C.
LtORK'S HOTEL,
GEORGE W. HAUGER, Proprietor.
(tOL u MBl 4 Ii U S +,

RNAKp sTOHNER.
HAVING lately purchased and fNed up the
well-knuwn Rohlson Hotel Property locateds .
rEw DOORS ABOVE THE COURT HOUSE,
nn tie same side of the street, in the town OF
BluumsbuIg; and having obtained n license for
the saIlc asa
r + 8 Il A 4 X A n II,
the Proprietor has determined to give TO the peo
pie visiting the town ON business or pleasure,
A LITTLE MORE ROOM
His stHblins also is extensive and is ntted mp
to put buggies ana carriages In the dry. He prom.
ses that everything about his establishment shall
be conducted In an orderly and lawful manner;
and he respectfully snllcits share OF the public
4 atronage, lmyl767-6m.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

AT public sale in Augusta, Georg-
ia, recently, $50, 600 in Confederate notes
We're sold for $50.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

They want oxen in Oregon so bad
that 81 900 yoke is paid for them.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

BLOOMS
PHILADELPHIA DIRECTORY
WILLIAM FISHER
WITH
THOMAS CARSON co.
WHOLESALE
DEA LERS IN HOSIERY,
MEMS FURNISHING GOODS,
LINENS & NOTIONS,
NO. IS NORTH FOURTH STREET
PHILA DELPHIA.
June 4,'69-Gm
- ICHARDSON l.. WRIGHT, JR.
ATTORNEY At LAW,
NO. l2s SOUTH SIXTH STREET
PHILADELPHIA.
Oct. 22,C9-ly
John STROUP & CO.,
Successors to stroup d Brother
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN rIsn.
NJ" ~ Notu' Nhnrves aud 70 A,1,i, Y Ut. ,.r.,
Phiindelpni.
s L V L $
w ! II Il G l. O r II,
MANUgACTuRED
SELLERS BROTHERS
G23 Market Street Philadelphia
Sept q, ,t9-3m.
q W.'BLABoN 4 CO.,
Manufacturers
OIL CLOTHS AND WINDOW sHNpts
Warehouse, No. VA North Third S,ro,
philadelphia.
G. EohGE II. ROBERTS,
Importer and Dealer In
HARDWARE, CUTLERY, GUNS. &c.
No. 81 North Third Street, above Vine
Philadelphia.
CNYDER, HARRIS & BASSETT,
Manufacturers and Jobbers of
h EEN > AND bDlS ALOIhlNS,
NOS SOS Market and 522 Commerce Street,
Philadelphia.
TOlIN G. YEAGER & CO.,
Wholesale Dealers In
HATS, CAPS, STRAW GOODS, AND
LADIES FURs
No. ~ North Third Street,
Mar o,'GOly Philadelphia.
ESTABLISHED 1898.
JORDAN BROTHER,
| Wholesale Grocers, and Dealers in
| SALTPETER AND BRIMsToNE
No 2i9 North Third st.
Philadelphia.
[. H. WALLER
| Late Walter q Kaub
importer and Dealer In
| CHINA, GLASS, AND QUEENsW AHf,
10. 23i n. Third Street.
| Philadelphia.
III. W. RANKS
WHOLESALE TOBACCO, SNUFF, AMI
CIGAR WAREHOUSE
No. l48 North Third Street,
between Cherry and Race, west rr'.
Philadelphia.
VIZ ARTMAN & ENGELMAN,
TOBACCO, SNUFF 3 SEGAR
NANUFACToRY,
NO. Sl3 NORTH THIRD STREET.
Second Door below WOOD.
PHILADELP
j. W. WARTMAN T.. ENGElNal
WAINWRlGHT & CO.,
HOLESALE ROGERS,
n. L. Corner Second and Arch Streets,
| PHILADELPHIA
| Dealers In
TEAS, SYRUPS, COFFEE, SUGAR. MOLAsSFs
RICE, SPICES, FL CARR SODA, &C.. &C.
ke- Orders will receive prompt attention.
May 10, lS67-ly.
o. II. HORNE. W. $, KING. j. B. sEYBEH1
|HORNE, KING & SEYBERT,
WHOLESALE DRY GOODS.
| No. Sl3 Market Street
PHILADELPHIA.
Orders filled promptly at lowest
January s. 1868.
major II. IL. ALTMAN Z. II. DILLINGER. N. NOR,
A RTMAN, DILLINGER & CO.,
No. lO4 NORTH THIRD ST. PHILADELPHIA
Two Doors above Arch formerly 225
| MANUFACTURERS AND JobBRRS IN
CARPETS, COTTONS YARNS, BATTING
OIL CLOTHS, CARPET CHAINS. CoRDAGl
OIL SHADES, GRAIN BAGS, TIE YARN,
-ALsO,-
WILLOW AND WOODEN WARE
sRooMs BRUSHES LOOKING 6LAssns, rRUsK
Feb 500
HOTELS, &C.
L'ORK'S HOTEL,
GEORGE W. HAUGEE, Proprietor.
The above well-known hotel has recently unde
gone rad cal changes In its internal arrangens cnl
and its pr, prietor announces to his former custo
and the travelling public that his accomodatin
) for the comfort OF his guests are second TO none
the country. His table will always be found su
piled, not only with substantial food, but with
} the delcaces OF the season. His wines and
uuors Except that popular beverage known
dAcRenry'j, J, purchased direct from the lnporti
houses are entirely pure, ana FREQ from all pC
i sonOus drugs. lie is thankful for a liberal patro
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

1 tslruu.
.sitlG
died tur,
Is. IBll'l''
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

lrsalls %
itg!uCt
illuiIAf
\ q |
ny al,,
'tugu''
rica a,
trrcl
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-05

4 ~
I'd. raIn'-
In iuWs
/ lest Of
|ulllc aa-
lie, anl
III sN,'
| avert
la IN, oar
[1,ilI,wl1l
|'Addr,
| |tifRsII..
|, ,wny Nrs