Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1869-06-04
How SUIT Lovingood Exploded.
HIS EXPERIENCE WITH SODA POWDERS.

SUIT related the story thus: "Gcorgc did
you ever see Sicily Burncs: Her dad lives
at tho Ratil Snalk Spring, nigh to the Greg
DRY line"
eyes, q handsome girl"
Handsome that word don't kiyor the
case; it sounds like calling whiskcy water,
when yc arc at Big Spring and the still house
ten miles off, and hit a rainin' an yor flask
only half full. She shows among wimcn like
a sunfowcr as compared tn dog fcnnull and
smart weed to jimstin. But thar aint no use
tryin' to describe her. Couldn't crawl thru
a whiskcy barrel with both heads stovc out,
if hit wur hilt sturdy for her, an good foot
holt at that. She ways jus two hundred and
twcnty-six pounds, and sixteen hands high.
She never got into an arm cheer in her life,
an you can lock the top Of a churn ur big dog
collar round her waist. I've seed her Jump
over tho top of q split bottom cheer and nov
CT show her ankle or kctch her dress onto it.
She kcricd devil cnuf about her to fill a four
horse Vaughn bed, with a skin as white as the
inside of a frogstool, checks and lips as rcd
as pe:chc's gills in dog. wood blossom time;
an sich n smile Oh, / be drafted cf its emmy
use talkin." That cal cud make me murder
old Bishop Soul himself, or kill nam, not to
speak Nv dad, eff she jist limited that she won
tod sich a thing dun.
well, to tell it all at once, she war a gal
all over, from tho pint NV her toe nails tn the
longest bar on her highest Knob NV her head
gal all the time, cvcrywhcrc-and that of
the cxcitincst kind. Ov course I leaned up
tn her as close as I dar tn, and in spite NV
long legs, appetite for whiskey, my shurt
scrapc, and dads actin boss, she softer
leaned up to me, an I was a bcginnin to think
| war the greatest All comfortablist man on
ycth not cxccptin Old Buck or Brigham
Iung, with all his sadil cu~llcrcd, wrinklcd
wimmin, cradcls full of babies, and Big
Salt Lake thrown in. We'll, wun day q cuss-
cd dccciyin, palavcrin, Yankee pcdlar, all
jack knife and jaw, III to old Burnes, with
load Of apple parins, c%allikcr, ribbins, jews
harps an s-o-d'y powders. Now mind
I'd never hearn tell ov that truck aforc, an |
be darncd CT | don't want it to be the last
wus nor rifle powdcr-wus nor percussion
three times as smart an hurts wus, heap wus.
Durn him. Durn all Yankee pcdlars, and
durn their principles and practisis, 1 say. |
wish ho had all the sody powders they ever
made in his cusscd paunch, and a slow match
fined tn him, an had a chunk ov fire, the
Teller what found a piece Of him big cnuf to
feed a cockroaeh, ought tn be king of the
Sultan's harcm a thousand years for his luck.
They Amt human no how. The mint at Fill
adolty is thai heaven; they think their god
eats half dimes for breakfast, hashcs the lc.
wins for dinner, an swallows a cent on a dried
apple for supper, sets on stamping machine
for a throne, sleeps on q crib full ov half dol
lars, and measures men like money, by count.
They haint one of them got a soul but What
cud dance a jig in a cabbage seed, and leave
room for the fiddler.
"Wcll, Sicily bought a tin box ov the sody
from him, an hid it away from the folks a sa-
vim it for me. happcn'd to pass next day,
an ov course [ stopped to enjoy a look at the
tcmpter, and she wur mighty loyin tn mo,
put one arm around my neck and luther one
whar the c~ircinglc goes round a boss, tuck
the inturn on me with her left fut an gin nc
a kiss. Says she:
"Sutty, love, I've got somcthin fur yc, a
new scnsation"-an l believed it, fur I be-.
gun to feel it already. My tocts felt like lit.
tie MINERS were a nibblin at 'cm--a cold
stieak a runnin up and down my back like a
lizard with a hen turkey artcr him in sctin
time, my heart felt hot and dissatisfied like,
and thea I'd shot old Soul Of she had limited
a nccdsislty for such an opcrashun. Then
she poured ten or twelve blue papers ov the
sody inter a big tumblor, and about the a
number of whites ones inter luther tumbler,
and put nj INTO a pint Of water on both ov
them, and stirred ON up with a case knife,
lookin as solemn as an ole Jackass, in a snow
storm, when the fodder is all gin out. She
hilt one while she told me to drink luther. I
swallowed it an one run-tastcd SALTY like. 7
thot it wur part of the scnsashun, INT T wur
mistaken, all Nv tic cusscd sensation wur tn
c.aan, and it wont long at it, boss, you you'd
better believe me. Thon she gin IN. further
tumblcr, an [ sent it artcr the last, raoo boss
fashion.
e Tn about o,o ou,n. 49, 1-,c p