The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1869-11-19
COL. M.-.-VOL. XXXIII...N NO. 49,

pipe ought to go, and blacks his fingers,
and then he carefully makes black
mark down on one side of his nose. 1t
Is impossible to make any headway, in
doing this work until this mark is made
down the side of the nose. Having got
his face properly marked, the victim is
ready to begin the ceremony. The head
of the family-who is the big goose of
the sacrifice--grasps one side of the bot
tom OF the stove, and his wife and The
hired girl take hold of the other side.
In this way the burdensome load is
started from the woodshed towards the
parlor. Going through the door the
head of the family will carefully swing
his side of the stove around and lam
his thumb nail against the door. This
part of the ceremony is never omitted.
Having got the stove comfortably in
place, the next thing is to find the legs.
Two of these are left inside the stove
since the spring before. The other two
must be hunted after for twenty-five
minutes. They are usually found un-
der the COAL Then the head of the fam
lily holds up one side of the stove while
his wife puts two of the legs in place,
and next he holds up the other side
while the other two are fixed, and one
OF the first two falls out. BY the time
the stove is on its legs he gets reckless
and takes offhis old coat regardless Of
his linen. Then he goes off for the pipe
and gets cinder in his eye. 1t don't
make any difference how well the pipe
was put up last year it will be found a
little too short or little too long, The
head of the family jams his hat over his
eyes and taking pipe under each arm
goes to the tin shop to have it fixed.
When he gets back he steps upon one
OF the best parlor chairs to see if the
pipe fits, and his wife makes him gel
down for fear he will scratch the var
nish Off from the chairs with the nails
in his boot heel. In getting down he
Will surely step on the cat, and may
thank his stars if it is not the baby J.
Then he gets an old chair and climbs
up to the chimney again to find that in
cutting the pipe off the end has been
left too big for the hole in the chimney
so he goes to the wood shed and splits
one side of the end Of the pipe with al
old axe, and squeezes it in his hands tt
make it smaller. Finally he gets the
pipe in shape and finds that the stow,
does not stand true. Then himself ant
wife and the hired girl move the stow,
to the left and the legs fall out again.
Next is to move to the right. Nor
difficulty with the legs. Moved to TIN
front little. Elbow not even with th
,, hole in the chimney, and he goes to tn,
wood shed after some little blocks
While putting the blocks under th
legs the pipe comes out of the chimney
That remedied, the elbow keeps tipping
. over to the great alarm of the wife
D.. Head of the family gets the dinner te
y BILE out, puts the old chair on it, gel
Il his wife to hold the chair, and balance
himself on it to drive some nails int
the ceiling. Drops the hammer on I
, his wife's head. AT last gets the nail
driven, makes wire swing to hold tn
pipe, hammers little there, takes
= long breath, and announces the cere
mony completed. Job never put u
any stoves. 1t would have ruined hi
reputation if he had.