The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-04-03
WIT AND MISnnM

TIE Spanish recipe for salad dressing IL
q model Of ter-eness and exaatness "a
srendthrift for oil, miser for vinegar, 4
counsellor for salt, aud madman to stir it
all up''
"DID You TELL LIEs Y''-A Canad ln bov
I N the quiet town of st. GATHERINGS, bah been
punished by bis father With solitary con-
finement for living. He showed On hi- re-
lease that he had been employing his tune IN
theological reflections, instead of using il for
self mortihsat on. He asked his father:
PA, did y0l tell lies when you were lit
lie m
The father, perhaps conscience smittsn.
endeavored 70 eysls the question. But the
child persisted
''Did you tel lies vhen YOU were little ~
you ask :"
"D,d ma tell lies when she was little %
IL don't know, ny son you must ak
her"
swell /" retorted the Young hopeful. zone
Of Won must have told lies, or YOU could nos
have had boy that would do Ill"
II Love 10 STEAL."-The pastor of
church once gave out the hymn. II love 70
steal awhile awag" The ehorister com
menced singing, bnt owing d some Difficult
~ in rec0lecting the tune, cnnld proceed IVY
farther than. "I love to steal" which ne did
three OF four times successfully. when the
clergyman, in order To relieve him from the
diiemma, humor0usiy remarked that "it Va
very mnch to be regretted" +" and added, LET
rs pray"
COULDN'T ESJY RELIGION "A certain dea
con-, was one WY tbe best VI men. but w IA
iure very irasclble A COW vas so exceeding
disor ieriy. A. che deacon vas AttemD .ina
to milk her one morning that 0ld Adam z1t
the better W nim, ana w vented His excited
feelings IN voiey of cxecrations ysrv an.
dsacohish in their character. At this mo-
ment tLe good dcacon's pastor appeared nn-
1xpertedlY On the scene ArI announced his
prescncs BY saying
why. deacon, can it BET Are yOu
swearing III
"Wel, parson," replied the deacon, "T
didn't tnink 0f any one being near by: but
the truth IS, | never shall enjoy religion as
long as keep this COW"
THE word debt is composed w the initi.
als of "dun every body twice Credit
Is formed Of the Initial letters Of ''CAn re-
gularly every day-rh trust
"Tat0es I" cried darkev poidlsr VI
Richmond " Hush dat racket-vou dis-
tracts De whole neighborhood," came from
a coloret dame in q doorway. "You KIN
bear me, kin you; \" Hear YOU sfn
bear you mile" Thank cod for AL
| is ho.lerin' 70 be heard. Tatoes ~
saw exclaimed an English cocknev W
Western traveller In England, speaking
aw of the law or prim0genIturs, ave voa
hentaii ia Himerwica ?" Hentail 20 safI
the American, looking Az his iuterrorAsor
curiously no, sir- We dav- the oook-
tail in America, aud q very popular drink
D. is"
THE following eaitarh 1u bfillw.-mend-
er. NV Ban. Johnson, " n0t included in anr
edition of bis works
H~r- lyss Jo PartsreI. a maker - believes
Master lf nr trade anil kluE ~ rara fsfiupas-
Att ar ~ fhis Fft tIe hHurr NJ tis Death
me that uAde Dai1~es aOuid se Drearh
TAns Our Daring our travels through
Kansas, we heard SONS funny stories. ard
tnis - one. "A couple of traveller rrhn
we're looking for land, chaae.d W sfisv
over" at a farm house in a spar-ely settled
district. TIE hoos- had only one room.
and the accomml iai0n- were IN the most
primitive character When bed time ~.
preached, piece of blanket vas hung
across the room, the travellers took their
noiety of the apartns ~. and darkness and
silence reignei through the dwelling.
Y II appeared that the chickens. NM want
! OF better place, roasted on the aour bar
rel, sad when IL was supposed that Ma
ture's sweet rastJrgrn bad g0t hold ny tbe
Y guests, tha good wife thus addressed her
} liege lord.
. say, John, Il you're going 10 keen a
hDtel you must MAKE different arrange.
menf-."
why Sarah Jane 2" returned the sleepy
husband.
Because I'm not going I'd get up ia this
v hx tl turn tbe tails w them cb tcken-yl