The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1869-01-26
/ Il T. VI s..

There Is no good in preaching to the
hungry.
A juror after serving for some days
in Hartford Court. was discovered to
be deaf
Col gives birds their fool, but they
must fly for it.
Gold il an IDOL worshipped in all
climates without Il single temple and
by all classes, without a single hypocrite.
An old tobacco chewer finds that the
Bible sustans his favorite habit. He
quotes; lie that is filthy let him be filthy
still.
-"lou must confess" remarked
New York to a Chicago merchant. as
they were discussing the merits of their
respective cities ''that New York is the
metropolis of the country" eyes. replied
the man of the Nest, " New York is q
right smart place for business. New
York is the Chicago of the East.
1t is shame, husband, that have
TO sit here mending your old Clothes
"Dont say word about it wife the least
SAID the soonest mendcd"
-"Am not little pale p inquired Il
lady who was short and corpulent, of
crusty old bachelor. "You look more like
big tub" was the blunt reply.
An Illinois editor, speaking of arogua
who lvel in his vicinity, says :-"Thc
rascal has broke every bank, Jail and Sal.
bath we have had in this country for the
las, five years
-A German wrote an obituary on the
death of his wife, in which he said :-"If
mine wife had lived until next Friday.
she wonld have been dead shust two
weeks. rs the tr-e falls 50 must it stand.
a Lady asked noted doctor if he
lid not think the small bonnets which the
ladies wore had n tendency TO produce
congestion of the brain, ''Oh, no. he rc-
piled, "Iadics that have brains doat
welr tlen.
a Lady asked her little girl, on re-
turning from church, il she remembered
the text ''Oh. yes said she, =. it is
this-'I'he la lies sewing society will meet
At Mrs. McCrackcn', house on Monday
evening next"
A Clock having struck the hour of
, one tenlcr-hcartel woman exclaimed {:
'Oh what n cruel clock !'-'Nhy so !"
asked friend. "Bccause it struck its
, little one - answered the tclder hearted
t mother.
booth, the tragcdian, had a broken
nose. \ lady oucc remarked TO him -
/ Il like your acting, Nh Booth, but TO b,
frank with you, ! can't get over YOU
nose r. " No wonder, madam" replied
c the tragedian, ''lhe bridge is gonel
: When Sir William Hamilton announ,
ccd TO the Royal Irish academy his dis
y coyery ofthc central sun-the star around
which our orb Of day and planetary at
tendants revolve-a waggish member ex
claimed :-"What! our suns sun VIII
r, that must be n grand SUM-
q A Lawyer Nonplussed. -'You sa
% that you know horse from jacka:
III when you see them ?" asked a counsel {
,c a rather dull,looking witness "Ol
-. ye-as-iust SO. drawled out the intende
victim, gazing intcntly at his legal to
M mentor, a knows the. and I'll never tai
Of YOU for horse"
IN The SroKrN WORD boys and girl
K, what is il you CA never catch. thou!
el You chase after It ~ on the Wings of Il
he winll You can never catch the word til
en has once gone ont Of your lips. On
spoken, il is out of your reach do 20
csc best. You can never recall it, Therefor
take care what you say. Never speak
lit unkind word, an impure word, lyi
md word or profane word,
Fossus.-Thc minutest fossil horse
liar discovered was lately found by Prof
ers c. Marsh of Yale College in the terti
mo deposits Of Nebraska. Although
mi. grown, as the osSiication of the vari
and bones prove, ii is only about two feet hi
Iono This makes seventeen species Of Il
horse now known to have lived in Nc
bis America, although until quite recent
,ter was generally believed that there y
ub ! none indigenous to the continent