The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-11
|. HEADS wa sHINoTON ExPS
RIENCE-WHAT OF 1T.

Special Correspondents Of the N. o. Crescent]
PATENT OFFICE, WASHINGTON,
Z fa- tForwgrd) March, 1863.
Much peoples they General Grant visits about
these tines. / went among others, and when we
asked for an Office he acted like one Of these
Chatham street hand jew clothing stores. You
walk into one of them stores, and our friend from
Jewdea with hook nose hears your request the irst
time; you don't iced TO ask him twice. "Coati
yah dere len a cost Is ish coat; he ish all ter
go in Nj York; try him on o. what fits; like he
wash maid for you; tose coats cost me cas-
apiece by ter dozen at wholesale; sells him TO
you, as it ia you, and fits, sells him-for-s2s;
and so help mine Colt, no makes one per
shentln You offer him half that amount. and
after laughing and grosning and refusing until
you are ready to go, he winds mp with patting you
on the shoulder in confidence, saying, "Wsit
little minnit till goes ask my brudder-in-lawl"
Now. / don't say that the president Is peddling
out hand clothes, although the wife OF late
president did; but be is in the next meanest bust
ness out, and that is peddling out the offices that
is for sail to rent. He has got the lesdin Offices
SO filed now that be says 10 all them chaps Is
goes TO him for an Office, "Go ask my brother-in-
lsww This answer is freely translated by the
newspapers 10 the effect that Gen. Grant refers
all applicants for Office 70 the head OF the depart
ment TO which they belong ~ He may do that;
Dat ne DON'T take 80 many NOrub 10 say II N. ne
hears what you have to say, takes the cigar out Of
his mouth, puts out the smoke, wipes his nose
with the sleeve Of his coat and says, 60 ask my
brother in-law."
When went up to see the president. # was the
very fust he knowed / was in town. H5 was the
most surprisedest man ever in the White House.
He took me in the greenroom, which leads out Of
the SOW SOW west room, and after askin' me TO
drink (Which refused) be said, while the cigar
smoke rolled down his borrowed cheeks, " Head,
I'm glad TO see You; and yet know not why an
so sad ~ be spit and then continued speaking OF
himself: "1he tanner.of- Office bill bothers me;
am tanner myself by profession, and want Con-
gress 10 understand they're bark ing up the wrong
tree II they think they're going to take the presl
dency out Of my hands,. He sighed.
"Mr. President, what will be your policy. as
well as you can guess? The people are anxious
TO know"
81 don't know myself yet; my old policy run
out, and have gotto get itrenewed."
Are you still q Democrat, general mean
Mr.. PRESIDENT"
al don't know what do the folks want me 90
be! shall go infor the Democratic idea Of the
greatest good to the greatest number '-of, my
reIatives.o
." what was the color of your kid gloves on
Inauguration day, general! There's been good
deal of dispute and worriment over II, and nation
mourns in uncertainty and EXPENSE
"1hey were light straw color; chose straw
| colcr because etraws show which way the wind
blows, you know; always have reason for
which getat the public pulee and ascertain the
feelings and wants Of the people o, don't soy
much. but I'm shrswd."
81 hope, Mr.. President, that you'll never be
tempted to step aside from the straight and mar.
row way which ell great men should tresd."
"Neveri No money, no lands or houses could
ever, for moment, make me forget that was
president and the general commanding our
armies am like Pouphsr's wife-aboye sus-
picion."
Then, general mean, Mr.. PRESIDENT wish
there had been dent in the Head family, that's
allu
"whyso,n
Let me sing you little verse:
81 wish was Q brotherin.law,
And with the brethren stand,
pie of greenbscks in my paw,
And an appointment in my hand :"
@why should give you an appointment, You
are no relative Of mine you never subscribed q
cent TO buy me horse, house or 5-20' What
did you ever do for me that you should ever in.
sinuate such thing as claim on mel"
Why, Mr.. President Il mean, general Il
stumped two States for Seymourand Blair and they
both went stronger Radical than they ever did be-
fore and II I'd kept on till now, they'd throwed
every darn vote for Grant and Coifax and moo
you ask me what have done for your, o, re-
publics is iDgratitudinal. But / want no Office
didn't expect it; you couldn't force II on me with
threat TO send me TO the Louisiana Legisaturel
No sir; I'd be banished there before I'd take an
Office"
Heao, give me your nand never De an once
seeker never be politician; but ever keep before
you the illuetrious words OF Benedict Arnold
The Union-it must and shall be preserved"
But II seems TO be picked, now, generel."
"Don't interrupt me as you say, Head, that
you dida't come here for an Office don't expect
one and don't want one. want you you shall
have good salary and stealin's 10 go and stay up
in the patent Office, and be exhibited as working
model OF the only man know of who don't want
an office ~
And this "a why nv letter is dated az above.
ITO be continued next sundsy.l