The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-06-03
THE JOSEF BzLEzHGs PAPERS
sOILuM TuouGHTs.

money; but this IS sekret known only
tew few.
I honestly beleaye ii il better tew know
nothing than tew know what amt so.
About the hardest work phelIow kan
do IL tew spark two gals, at once, and
preserve a good average.
Prudery IL one ov virtew's bastards.
A nickname will cutiiye emmy nan OF
thing it iz like the crook in dog2's tale,
you may cut it oph, and throw if behind
the barn, but the crook Il thar yet, and
the stump il the epitaph.
If you Snalize what most men kali
plezzure, you will find it composed ov one
part humbugg, and two parts pain.
When you hain't got nothing tew do,
do it at once, this IL the way to learn to
be bizzy.
We hav bin told that the best way to
overkum misfortunes il tew fight with
them-I haY tried both ways, and recon-
mend a successful dodge.
The art ov becoming Ov importance in
the eyes ov others, il not TO overrate our
self, but tew cause them tew do it.
The true way to understand the juGg~
ments ov heaven is to submit TO them.
Method il everything, especially tew
ordinary men: the few men who can lift
tun. at pleasure, have divine righ. 10
take holt of it tew a disadvantage.
The mind ov man IL like q piece ov
land that, tew be useful, must be manur-
ed with learning, ploughed with energy,
sown with Virtew, and harvested with
ekonemy.
Where religion is trade, morality IL a
merchandise.
Conversashun should DO en.ivened with
wit, not composed ov it.
The less a man knows, the more be will
guess at and guessing IL nothing more
than suspicion.
Going tew law, IL like skinning new
milch cow for the hide, and giving the
meat to the lawyers.
Death tew most OF US, IL a kind of
farewell beneft"-''positively our last
appearance
Phools are quite often like hornets.
very bizzy, bat about what, the Lord only
knows.
Living on Hope, il like living on wind,
a good way tew git phulI, but poor way
tew get phatt.
Jealously don't pay, the best it can do,
IL tew discover what we don't want TO find,
nor don't expekt to.
Secrets are a mortgage on friendships.
/ don't think bad man IL az danger
ous az weak one-I don't think a bile
that has come to he'd, IL az risky az a
hidden one, that may come TO dozen
heds.
A vivid imaganashun like sun glass
makes things at distance look twice az
big as they am, and cluss to, twice as
small as they am.
Hope il draft on futurity, sumtimes
honored, but generally extended.
If the world dispizes a hypokrit, what
must they think Of him in heaven?
Flattery IL like Kolone water-tew be
smelt ov, not swallowed.
After all, there don't seem tew be butt
this difference between the wize men and
the phools: the wise men are all fuss and
sum feathers, while the phools are all fuss
and no feathers.
Without friends and without enemys is
The last ackount we hsv ov stray dog.
Men generally, when they whip a mulr,
sware the mule remembers the Ewareing,
but forgits the licking.
Sum folks wonder WHARF awl the lies
cum from, but don't one good lire will
pizen whole country.
Hunting after fame IL like hunting af-
fer feas-bard tew ketch, and shure tew
make yu uneasy If yu do or don't keich
them.
Menny people spend their time trieing
tew find the hole WHARF sin got into this
world If two men brake through the
ice into mill pond they had better hunt
for sum good hole tew git OUT, rather than
git into long argument about the hole
they cum tew fall in.
Imaginashun, few much indulged in,
soon is tortured into reality: this IL one
way that good hoss thiels are made a
man leans over fence all day, and i'm
agines the hoss in the lot belongs to him,
and shure enuff the fuss dark light, the
boss does.
If you must chaw terbacker, young
man, for heavens sake chaw old plugg-
it IL the nastyest.
THE BACHELOR.
A chronic old bachelor is invariably ov
the neuter gender, don't care how much
be may offer tew bet it amt 50.
They are like dried apples On string
want a good soaking before they will
do to use.
1 suppose there is some OF them who
have a good excuse for their nuterness
MANY of them are too stinoy to marry
This IL one Of the best excuses kno OF,
for stingy man amt fit to have nice
woman.
Some old bachelors git after firt,
and can't travel so fast as she doz, and
then concludes awl the female group are
hard to ketch, and good for nothing when
they are ketched.