Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-04-21
A WESTERN COURTSNIP.

sneeking kindness for me, but how to dew
the thingright, pestered me orful. / got some
luve books and red how fellers got down
upon their marrow bones and talked like
parroots, and the gals they would go intel
a sorteriO' stance, and then how they would
gently fall inter the feller's arms-but
sumhow that didn't suit my nootion.
ask'd marm how dad courted her-but
she said it had been so long she'd furgot
all about it.
Unkle Joe alters says marin done all the
courtin', and at last made up my mind to
go it blind, for this thing was fairly com
Stunning my innerds. SO goes over to her
daddys and when got there, l sot like a
fool, thinking how L should begin. Sal
she sed suit thin was tru'blin' me, and said
She
''Aint you sick, Peter ?"
| "Yes-no," sez | ; ''that is, l amt exact
ly We'll. " L thought I'd come over to-
night, sez l. That's a mighty purity be-
ginnin anyhow, thinks l. tried again
Sal, SEE /, and about this time | felt
mighty family and oneasy about this squiz-
erinctums.
What sez Sal.
Sal sez [ agin.
What sez she. .r ....
I'll get to it arter awhile at this lick
thinks I. ..-..-
Peter seq she there's suntGin trublin
you powerful, I know It's nifty wrong for
yu tew keep it from body for an innerd
sorrcr is a consuming fire.
She sed this, she did the deer sly crceter.
/ She noed what was the matter all the time,
but 1 was gone so fur didn't see the pint
At last, I kinder sorter guliped down the
lump as was rising in my throat, and [ sez:
Sal does you luv anybody?
Well sez she, thars dad and mann, and
countin her fingers all the time with her
eyes sorter shut, like feller shooting a
gum and thar's old Pide THAT We're an old
COW of hern } can't think of anything
else, just now sez she. Now, this were or
full for feller in luve, SO arter while l
tried another shute Sez /
Sal I am powerful lonesum to hum, and
sumtimes L think if I only had purity
wife to luve and tn talk tue, and to muve
and tn have my bein' 1 should be tre-
mendous feller With that she began-lnd
named over all the gals within five miles of
| thar, and never wunst cum anigh namin of
herself, and sed ] orter get one of them.
That sorter got my dander up, and SO
hitched my cheer up close to hern, and
shet my eyes and trebulously sed-Sal, you
are the gal I've been hankering after for a
long time. l luve You all over from the
sole of your he'd to the foot of your crown,
and don't care who knows it an if you
say so, we'll be jined together in the holy
bonds of matrimony, pluribus unum,
world without end ses and / felt like I'd
throwed up an allygatur, felt SO relieved.
With that she fetched q sorter scream, and
arter awhile she sez, sez, she-Paster.
What is't it Sally sez l.
Yes sez she, hidin' owe her putty face
behind her hands. You may depend upon
it, felt orful good.
Glory Glory sez I. must hollar Sal,
or I'll bust wide open. Hooray for hooray.
[ kin jump over ten rale fence kin do
everything that any feller could, would, or
orter do. With that L sorter sloshed my
self down by her, and cliached the bargain
with a kiss-and such kiss-talk about
yer sugar-talk about yer merlasses-talk
about yer blackberry jam-you couldn't
have got me to come nigh EN- they would
all have tasted sour after that. Eff SAILS
dady hadn't hollered out it's time for all
onest folks to be in bed, | do believed I'd
staid thar all mite. Yer orter to seed me
whend got hum. l pulled dad outer bed
and hugged him. Ipuled marm outer bed
and hugged her 1 pulled Ant Jane outer
bed and hugged her. / pulled the niger
sarvant outer bed and hugged her roar
ed, hollered, danced about and cut up
more capers than you ever heard tell ov,
till dad thot was crazy and, got rope to
tie me with. Dad, seq I, Tn gwine to get
married.
Married belloed dad
Married squalled marin.
Married squeeked Ant Jane.
Yes, married sez T. Married all over
jined in wedlock horked on for worser or
better for life and for death, to Sal I am
that very thing me, Peter Spolum Esq.
With that up and telled them all about it,
from Alpher to Omegar. They wer all
nifty pleased and nifty willin' and was as
proud rs a young rooster with his first
spurs.
O, Jchosifat didn't | feel tremendous
good, and kept getting that way all mite.
l didn't sleep wink but kept rollin about
and thinkin, till myaeup of happiness was
full, pressed down and runAin over
-