The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-11-05
Miscellaneous
MY GREAT.GRANDFATHER.
His Remarkable voyage.

BY John QUILL.
You see, snid my grea%t-grandfather, who
had gathered q crowd Of his friends around
him at the grocery store in Darby, one
evening; you sec / was once a sailor before
the mast, on q small vessel which was cruis'
ing about in the South Atlantic Ocean.
Sho was a very small vessel, and so frail
that / was afraid all the tim that she would
90 to pieces, but she didn't. Il happened
one day that / was sent aloit TO nail a block
of some kind on the top Of the mainmast,
and as we had no Ratchet / took IN axe. /
hit the mast three or four pretty stiff
knocks, when all Of a sudden | thought l
felt her 90 down with a Jerk. But elook.
cd all right, and I thought II couldn't pos
sibly be. So l came down and said nothing
about II.
Three or four days Afterwards the mate
says TO the captain:
''Cap., it's queer we don't sight land by
this time"
Every queer says the captain.
"And what's funny about It is that for
several days past my instruments have
made MS ont 30 be in precisely the came lati-
tude and longitude
Maybe something's the matter with the
sun"
''or perhapsthe parallels oflatitude have
shifted
"or maybe you've madea mistake in your
figures
Il didn't think of that" says the mate.
So they took another observation and
found that they were in precisely the same
Old place. Everybody was frightened, and
u was not until after q close examination
that il was ut last ascertaincd that / had
actually driven that mainmast through the
bottom of the ship into the mud, where il
IUl uFHVnt feet Up1 NluN tho old ffth I.1
been spinning round and round. like n
weathor-cock on q steeple, all this time,
without anybody knowing it.
To say that the captain was mad, don't
describe his condition. He roared around
30 about II, that / got scared, and hid my
self in an old cask In the hold. There /
laid oil day, when IL was decided TO heaye
part Of the cargo overheard 10 TIGHTEN ship,
and the cask j was in was headed up. aud
! afraid TO bulge, and the whole concern
was henyed into the water.
/ was in that barrel about four days. 1t
was n little crowded, 20 be sure, andi il
would roll some, but on the whole / was
comfortable. One day / felt myself tossed
On shore, and then ! was so certain of saw
ing my life, that 1 just turned over and
took a irst-class nap.
was walked by something tickling my
face. At first ! thought it was a mosquito,
but then Remembered that no mosquito
could possibly have got into that barrel
anyhow. / brushed nj 4 again, aud caught
IL. " was n straw. | gave It n jerk. Some
thing knocked against the barrel outside.
and 1 heard the word
'Tuyfel e.
Then another straw was hurried, and
/ pulled that harder yet. Something struck
tho barrel again, nd heard this exclama-
ton:
'Der Tuyfelr -
Then another straw was put in, and /
caught hold Of it, and saw that il came
through the bunge-hole, and there was q
man outside trying 10 suck something or
other through that straw, and every time
| gave her a jerk it iammed his old nose
bat against the slaves. SO 1 gave her
one more pull, and then kicking the head
out Of the cask, l got out and said to this
fellow:
Look a here, what in the deuce are you
trying to do, anyhow"
"NeiR, says he, shaking his head.
sayT
"Nsin," says he.
THAT makes eighteen, says I.
''Nein, says he.
''Twenty-seven," SAYS l. go on; III
add it up for you. I'm lightning calcul-
ator, | am"
"NsinE
"rhirty;siE, / said. 'You appear to be
a regular original old first nine. What club
do you belong TO anyway"
"Neb," says he, still shaking his head.
"Forty-f-" Just then il flashed
across my mind that he was a D~utehman.
Beer, says |, 70 try him.
had touched asympathetic chord in his
nature.
90 yaw yaw says he "Ha ha / dat
IS goot! o. yaw! and we rushed into each
others arms and wept.
l felt that l had found friend.
1 sincerely wished he had been my long
lost brother, with the regular thing in
strawberry marks on his arm, only | never
had a brother, and he was never long lost,
and never had anything ON his arm.
But this German wa a good fellow. He
lived in Dutch Guiana, and had Il wife, and
three pretty daughters who were 80 precise
ly alike that / could never tell one from the
other. / fell in love with one of them; /
never could tell which, so / courted them
all three, just as they happened to como
along.
One day they all came in together. /
tried TO be sweet with the one l thought
was the right girl, and the other two got
80 mad thatI was afraid they'd burst some
blood vessel or other. Then all three of
them said / had promised TO marry them,
and all three Of them repeated the fond
words had whispered to them, and ac-
oused me Of treachery.
II looked stormy for nue.. There was GU
tirely too much loves chidings for comfort.
/ then offered to marry them all three, and
TO take them to Salt Lake; or TO eut my
self in three pieces; or 10 drown myself
with them and perish in four watery
graves
Respectfully but firmly declined.
Then they all Went out. After a bit one
came In and said:
"Abijah, dear, let us us elope together,
and leave these horrid women, and 90 to
some sunny cline, where we can be happy
in the fullness of each others love"
Il will think il over, my angel" said /.
She passed out. Then one ofthem came
in again.
oAbijah, dear, let us fly together, and
leave these horrid women, and go to some
sunny cline, where we can b ehappy in The
fullness of each others love"
81 say l win think it over, my own an
GEL"
And she disappeared. But she seemed
anxious, so in she comes again.
'Abijah, dear, let US fly together, aud
save these horrid women, and go TO some