The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-10-29
Mark Twain's Speech at the N. Y
Press Club ON the Late Reliable
COntraband.

Mr.. President and Gentlemen:
It is my painful duty to mar these les
tivities with the announcement OF the
death of one who was dear TO US all-our
tried and noble friend, the Reliable Con-
traband." To the world at large this
event will bfihg no sorrow, fer the world
never knew him as we did, never had such
cause to love him; but unto US the calam-
ity brings unutterable anguish-fOr it her
aids the loss of one whose great heart beat
for US alone, whose tireless tongue vibrated
in our interest only, whose fervent fancy
wrought its miracles solely for our en-
richment and renown.
In his time what did he not do for us?
When marvels languished and sensation
dispatches grew tame, who was 1t that iaio
down the shovel and the hoe and came
with healing on his wingss The Reliable
Contraband. When armies fled in panic
and dismay, and the great cause seemed
lost beyond all hope of succor, who was
il that turned the tide of war and gave
victory to the vaDauished? The Rell-
able Contraband. When despair hung its
shadows about the hearts Of the people,
and sorrow sat on every face, who was
it that braved every danger to bring
cheering and incomprehensible news from
the fronts The Reliable Contraoand.
Who took Richmond the first timer The
Reliable Contrsband. Who took 1t the
second time? The Reliable Contraband
| Who took it eoery time until the last, ana
then felt the bitterness OF hearing nation
applaud the man more who took 1t once
than that greater man who had taken IL
six times before. The Reliable Contra-
band. When we needed q bloodless VIC
tory to whom did we look to win 1t? The
Reliable Contraband. When we needed
news to make the peoples bowels yearn,
and their knotted and combined LOCKS 10
stand on end like quills upon the fretIul
porcupine, to whom did we look 70 ietcn
il? The Reliable Contraband. When we
needed any sort or description OF news
upon any sort or description OF suplect
who wasit that stood always ready 70
steal a horse and bring that news along
The Reliable ContrabAnd.
NV friends, he was the faIthfulest vassal
that ever fought, bled and he'd In ,ne
glorious ranks of journalism Tnunoer
and lightning never stopped hlm ami
hilsted railroads never delayed MIN tne
telegraph never overlook him min,ary
secresy never crippled his knowledge
strategic feints never confused MS luog
| mGnt. CSuuOu U6llo SOAiAA .->> ~>~-~>
clairvoyance couldn't find him; SataI
, himself couldn't catch him His fnfor
,, , nation comprised all knowledge, possible
and impossible; his Imagination wa
utterly boundless; his capacity to max
: mighty statements, and 80 back then
! no as TO make an inch of truth cover a
!, acre of ground, without appearing. :
stretch or tear, was thing that sppslle'
\. even the most unimpressible with 1t
y awful grandeur.
The Reliable Contraband il no more
. Born of the war, and necessity OF u
: war, and of the war only, he watched Il
= proeress, took notes of its successes an
: reverses, manufactured and recorded ID
most thrilling features Of its daily histor,
and then, when it died, his great missio
was fulfilled, his occupation gone and
died likewise.