North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-01-13
News and Items.

Nc"b uhu 1tc"bs
A party of wood-choppers in the Black
Swamp, in Ohio, lately found an old earth
en- jar in the butt of large hickory tree.
The jar, which contained English and
Spanish coins, ranging in date from 1897
to 1902, crumbled to pieces at the first
ouch......Miss Emily Faithful, promi-
ncnt advocate of women's rights, in Eng
land, and proprietor of large printing
establishment in London, recently stated
in public address, that out Of 100000
women in England, 100000 were ur>
married. during the recent election in
England, a voter in Wiltshire was applied
to several tines for his vote. This, how
ever, he resolutely refused to give. "For,"
said he, ''directly after I voted last time
the bread rose, and l made up my mind
from that time that I'd never vote any
more" ...... There are two hundred and
seventy hotels in New York. ....About a
hundred thousand bushels of peanuts have
been exported from North Carolina this
year. The crop is very exhausting to the
land. North Carolina will soon be "going
to peanuts" we suppose.
Gen Sheridan's commissary feeds his
Indian prisoners on roast horse and dog
fricasee.. ....Josh Billings has written an
essay upon "roosters." in which he re-
marks that they care the husbands of
menny wives. In Utah it is considered a
disgrace tew speak disrcpeckful of roos.
tor. Train estimates his damages in
England at $3.50, 900. There were IA,
l53 deaths in Philadelphia last year......
The "bump of destructiveness''-a railway
collision......A man in Indiana named
Dean having married one Matte Nadine,,
got a divorce from her, in pursuance Ui
the custom of the country, and married
her younger sister. Thereupon Matte
shot him, also according to the custom oil
the country, but with absurd obstinancy
he failed to die......A repentant man en-
tered New Haven hardware store The
other day, where he had bought pair Of
scissors, showed the clerk jack-knife ant
said: 81 stole this when got the scissors
l am trying to become a Christian and {
better man, and want you to take it bacl
and forgive me if you cam"
'Ponkeen Piah" is sign in Paris cafe
1t was the Frenchmans attempt to sa,
pumpkin pie......On Christmas Eve thu
, sun set gloriously red at Charlestown an(
a little boy exclaimed, "See how hot hevel
is over there. Santa Claus is baking,
guess. .....Five locomotives at tim,
passed the Dubuque bridge as a ties
weight. They made no impressions.
A Justice better versed in law than Gospel
not long since married couple in thi
,, way: "lIold up your right hands. Yo,
do solemnly swear that you will perform
5 the duties of your Office, jointly ant
severally according to your best skill ant
, Judgement, SO help you God. Fee on
dollar" ...... Ladies are said to be workin;
r their way into the watch business, because
they produce handsomer faces and NOR,
delicate hands than men.....A Surgeon
whose wife is great scold, being asked
S what he thought would be the creates
4 triumph of the surgical art, replied, "Tak'
the jaw out of scolding woman.".. 49,.
I "Why do women spend so muchstime ant
J, money on dress? asked gentleman o
Q a Newport belle. ''To worry other wo
= mer, twas the sarcastic but true reply..,-.
A Clergyman, after marrying a couple
, made prayer over them, concluding
: "Forgive them, Lord, they know not wha
they do!'
What is the difference between bedbug
and humbugs One is felt and the othel
is scen...... The smaller the calibre of tn,
!, mind the greater the bore of IA perpetual.
9 open mouth. While most persons are il
. advance of their age, an old maid general
ly manages to keep ten years behind.....
6 Who was the strongest man? Jonah
the whale couldn't hold him after h
\ got him down.. IAN old bachelor is
traveller on life's railroad who has entr
ely failed to make the proper connections
!. ......"Is there real progress in Christian
f ity among those cannibals % asked al
old lady Of her nephew, rowing sailor
who had just returned from long cruise
4 Eyes, aunt Hannah; they have got SO no,
j. they can take their grog like Christians
:. and can't cat roast missionary withou
!, mint sauce" Remember who you ar
f talking to, sir ~ said an indignant paren
to fractions boy; 81 am your fathe,
! sir!" swell, who's to blame for that (!
!. said young impertinence; ''taint me p
) A Frenchman owed man eight hur
G dred francs; and he made proposition
give him eight notes payable monthly fc
y one hundred francs each. The first not
d was protested. The creditor demanded a
y explanation. II did not want you to los
eight hundred francs all at once, so
= divided it up, that the loss might fall o
I. you in installments," replied the conside
II ate debtor. ."Thou shalt not comm
adulteration" should be introduced in
70 the decalosue of many dealers........ 4
It the two hundred and sixty Popes, not OF
It. has ruled for twenty-five years. WI.
u may man be considered poor yehic
" for expression? When he is little sull
......A vein of silver, fly feet below.t
"a surface of the ground has been discovery
"a at Joliet, ILL.,, while boring an artesi,
r. well. The presence of silver in the &c