The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1869-08-05
Miscellany.

The PRESIDENT AT THE RESTAURANT
So little thing as the Presidents being treat
ed cavalierly at restaurant in Washington
where he desired breakfast in private
room, continues to be topic of conversation
in Washington. One reporter colors it IN
thus:
President Grants rebuff at Weicker,s ves-
terday is still the talk of the town here II
appears that after leaving the restaurant in n
rage, the President repaired TO the White
House, summoned his steward and ordered a
breakfast TO be brought to him from re-
spectao, e, eating house kept by colored ca
terer. Inc President demolished the colored
cookery u haste, then went TO Cabinet
meeting, and in the evening attended din
ner party given by Secretary Fish AT the
hospitable board OF the Secretary the occur
renee OF the morning was made the subject
OF several hits at Grant, who received them
in silence and without relish. One gentle
man who joked the President about it re-
marked:
"Lthink you made big mistake in retir
ing from the restaurant, Mr.. PRESIDENT
..Wby so, sir" said Grant.
"Well, ii Ihad been in your place should
have quietly sat down in the general eatino-
room, ordered breakfast, eaten it. ana then
asked for my BILL After paying the bill, 1
should have said TO the impudent attendant:
Sir, i have paid your bill; now here is fifty
cents Tor yourself to pay for your extra po--
liteness.' In that way you would have turned
the tables completely and had the laugh
against Peter the Polite"
A RESIDENT of New Orleans having suit
at law before a Boston court and jury,
brought on with him plain, manly, home
spun planter in a small way to testify in ref
erence to the value of certain tract of land
involved in the litigation. He had stated his
opinion OF its value at length, and with great
apparent candor when the opposing counsel
passed him up letter wherein the writer.
seeking to buy some part of the said land had
gwen it much lower valuation than he had
done In the witness-box. ibid you write
that letter, Mr.. -" asked the LAWYER.
onr Louisiana friend read 1t through with
great elaboration, folded it up carefully.
handed it back and answered: 81 did, aWell'
sir will you have the goodness to explain to
tae jury how it happens that you have come
before this court and placed the value of that
land so much higher than you have done in
that letter." Gentlemen of the jury said
the witness in a senatorian voice, drawing
himself up to his full height, "when qcrote
that letter aUds trddin'." The explanation
did not injure him with Boston jury.
----------------
SOME members Of a militia company. wish
ing to bestow upon their captain some testi-
monial of their regard, had raised among
themselves funds for the purchase OF a silver
cup, and appointed one OF their number TO
make the presentation speech. The chosen
Demosthenes happened TO be as modest as
gifted, and for fear his wits might be routed
by the excitement OF the occasion, had pre-
pared and learned by rote an effusion brimiul
OF spread-eagle eloquence and rabid rhetoric.
Prompt to the minute, the orator arrived at
the place OF meeting, with the yoluminous
document, at which he had an instant before
stolen farewell glance peeping conspicuous
ly from the rear pocket of his military coat.
For an instant he gazed timidIy around on the
sea OF upturned faces" He began: "Cap-
tain, we are assembled Another glance
at the multitude and the oncoming tide of
eloquence retreated, leaving not the wreck of
an idea behind it. Captain" agai.I gasped
the orator; and then rushing forward he lev
elled the cup at the expectant countenance Of
his superior-in-arms, and shouted: "Captain.
here's your niug!"