Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-04-02
President JOhns0,t's Last Cabinet
Meetisl0.

II
Meeting.
The President wuz terribly calm and
composed.
Weep. my friends sed he, weep.
can't blame 700 for 700 are abont to be
deprived of me- But in this trying hour
| will be calm. hev swung around The
circle wv ofiishel honor. hev bin
At this pint his voice trcmbled and his
eyes wuz snffoosed.
But no, will be myself. Sekretary
Seward, is there any more acts Nv un-
constitutional Congress to veto?'
'No-pockiting Nv em ansers the pur-
pose
is there anybody TO pardon'
Not one-but stay. Now that | think
of II, two counterfeiters, one wbiskey
speculator, confcdrit officer or two, and
watts left NV the assassinashun party still
languish either in Basteeis or in exile.
Il must finish my work. Hand me
them blank pardons.'
He wrote with firm hand a fillin nv
EN- out, wich only took second, ez he
hez blanks printed for all the various Of
fences men kin be guilty nv.
Now, then. my duties is accomplished,
and checrhy resine the power wich
wood hev laid down long ago but for the
sake Nv my bleeding country.
Mayor Munro NV Moo Orleans, Mrs.
Cobb, score or more nv Confedrit ofhcfrs
and flood of unforchenet men who he'd
bin accoosed nv tamperin with an uncon-
stooshnel currency, and n hundred more
or less. of Fedral offisholders filed in and
shook the President corjelly by the hand,
dropin silent tho elokent teer cZ they
passed. There wuz in addishen to these
several hundred poor wretches who he'd
bin laying about Washington for months
waitin for posishens. bat who hcdnt got
EN-. They he'd no money to get home
with and they insisted that the President
must and shood furnish EN- means. One
Nv en- demanded NV Randall $500, but
that great man finally got rid NV him by
loanin him II clean shirt and box Nv pa
per collars
The man wuz dcprcst tho still hopeful.
This sed he, wavin the shirt in the AR
This is ali hey to start agin. When l
cmbarkt into Johnsonism my friends fell
of. In remorse Itook 10 likker, and step,
by step went down till became the losth-
some objick yoo behold. But shell now
reform and try to be somebody
Ez | saw him the next evcnin in state
nv hilarity hanging to lamp-post repeat
lug porshu1s Nv the late Presidents fare
well address to p,ssers-by without any
clean shirt on, Iiudged remorse hadov
come him agin and that the clean shirt
hal bin pawned.
Then come the most saddest scene NV
all. The President he'd to bid adoo 10 his
Cabinet.
Secretary Seward wuz vizibly affected.
That afternoon he he'd heerd Nv an Island
for sale. the principal volcano on which
he'd mostly stopped gushin, and he wept
to think he hedn't time to complete nego-
ciashens for it.
Sekrctary Wells wuz the only cheerful
one in the party. He he'd nc idea that
he wuz to stop bein Sckretary ofthe Navy
he expected to go along ez tho nothin
he'd happened. Seward and Randall he'd
bin irwin for an hour TO make him COM
prehen the citooashen-that there wuz to
be change but TO no purpose. He
coodent Git it thro him. ! undertook TO
impress il onto his intelleck, but my ef-
forts wuz futile. Huggin to his bosom a
model nv Erie canal boat wich he he'd
determined to remodel into q revenoo
cutter. he kept up saying-'Why-why
shood / go out? wuz under Linkin, and
then johnson. There aint no more diff
ference between johnson and Lincoln
than there is between johnson and Grant,
is there? agreed with Linkin and John
son. and shell agree with Grant. Why
shood differ with Grant?'
Randall smiled sardonic smile at the
aged infant, and remarkin that he Gram
deI) he'd he'd good time Nv 1t anyhow.
the recolleckshen whereof the DID Abo-
lishnists coodent rob him nv, shook hands
with A. j., addin that he didn't bear him
any i'll will. ,u
I'm rooined man. continyood Randall
but Pm ez much to blame ez 700 are.
shell 90 into histry coupled with yoo--my
blooming boys. when they arrive at mans
estate, will apply to the Legislachers NV
their respective States to hev their names
chan ged to suthin else. I'm young. and
can't die in few years, ez Welles kin,
and must therefore drag out longer
egzistanc but don't blame yoo. l went
into it takin the chances. and stand tho
hazard NV the die. shel serve the an
bishus yoolh Nv this country en- an Awful
Eoroau,n1a