The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1869-04-22
tFro n, the Home Circle.
MADAM SCANDAL.

-H. MAD<AM ON<ANA<As
A long time ago, in the western
part Of England, there lived an
aged couple whose time bad pass
cd away since early youth in the
every day round OF farm life, and
who had never been known 10
have the least i'll feeling towards
each other since the time when the
good old parson Heriot had unit.
cd them in the holy bonds of we'd.
lock, twenty years before. So
well was the fact of their coningal
happiness known, that they were
spoken CT as the happiest pair in
England. YNowo,he devil (excuse
the abrupt mention Of his name)
had been trying To- create u fuss
in the iaRilyr between these old
companions. But, much, 10 his
modification, he had not been able
TO induce the old gentleman 10
grumblc ..about breakfast being too
late. or the old woman to give a
single curtain lecture. After re.
pcated efforts the devil became
discouraged, and had he not been
a person of great determination,
he would have doubtless given The
work up in despair, One day as
he walked along in a very surly
mood after another attempt to get
tho old lady to quarrel about the
pigs getting into the yard, he met
an old lady, a neighbor of the cou.
Pile. AS Mr.. D, and the neighbor
were particular friends, they must
need stop on their way and chat
htlle. o
"Good morning, SIR" said the
hag, land pray what on earth
makes you look SO bad this morn>
ing? Isn't the controversy be-
tween tho churches doing service!
"Yes!"
"lsn't Deacon W making plen-
ty of bad whisky?" i
"Yesl"
"WelI, what is the mattor, my
highly honored master p +
Everything is going on well
enough" replied the devil; "but
old Blueford and his wife are injur
ing the cause terribly by their bad
example, and trying for hours to
induce them to do right, Imust say
! consider them hopeless"
The bag stood for a few moments
in deep thought. ,-....t.el
"Are you sure that you have
tried in every way2'jO T. a
"Every way can think off,
"Are you certain?' ,sgf
"Yes!' lNr.
"Well," replied she, eff you will
promise to make me present Of
new pair Of shoes in case l succeed,
| will make the attempt myself,
and see if / can make a quarrel
between them"
To this reasonable request the
devil gladly assented. The old
hag went to old Blusford's house,
ard found Mrs. Blucford busily en-.
gagged in getting things ready for
her husbands comfort on his re.
turn from work. After the usual
compliments had passed. the fol.
lowing dialogue took place.: 4
well, friend B, you and Mr..
B. have lived q long time togeth-
err 1a,."1
"Five and twenty years, come
November, " replied Mrs. B.
"And all this time you have nev-
er bad q quarrel"
"Not one!"
II am truly glad to hear it, con.
tinued the hag. Il consider it my
duty to warn you in this case.
though you must not expect it al.
ways. Have you not observed
that of late Mr. B. has grown peov.
ish aud sullen at times?'
"a very little SO" observed Mrs,
B.
Il knew it," continued the hag
sand let mo warn you TO be on
your guard"
Mrs. B. did not think she had
better do so, but asked for advice
as to how she should manage the
case .. .. ..
"Have you not noticed" said the
hag. that your husband has
bunch Of long, harsh hair growing
under his chin, on the sido of his
throat ?" . anra, Hr
Eyes"
"That will be the cause of trou.
BILE, and so long as the TUT romans
you had better look out. Now, as
a friend, ! would advise you 10
cut those hairs off the first chance
you get, and thus end the trouble,
for as long as they remain you had
better look OUT
Soon after this the hag started
for home and made Il convenient
to meet Mr.. B. on the way, Much
the same talk in relation to his
domestic happiness between him
and the old woman. esr
"But friend Blueford," said she,
II think it my duty as Christian
to warn you to be on your guard,
for your wife intends your ruin"
p Old Mr.. B. was very much as.
tonished, yet he could not wholly
discredit her words. When he
reached home he threw himself
on a bed in perplcxity, and feign-
ing sleep. studied tho matter over
in his mind. His wife thinking
this good opportunity for cut.
ting off thOobnoxious hair, took her
husbands razor. and crept softly