, 1869-10-24
Correspondence.
With Some Answers to Sufferers

Corresponds
With Some Answers to sufferera
Amusemcnts.
Review OF tho woek.
CHICAGO. oc& =.
~ he Rtitor u 7Ae calaa9o 7tsbunk:
hare never yet been able 10 undorxtapd tnneh
leas 10 forgive, tue curiosity ct Ere, who certainly
eoacepdated tn het1elf all the female tpowfedrn
there wss IN the world At that tine
czn understand why Adam ste the apple; foY,
while Eve waa interviewing the snake, she neg
lec'ed 10 prepare bis supper. and the poor man
wss undoubtedly hungry. And, again, II bad
oeeh Adam, would have done tne same thing.
9ue men who Wonltnt I car Al apple for lovely NO.
man s unworthy the privileges Of an American
c'.tzen such As voting, paying taxes, xogk1ag FOX
living. and other high priced juxpr1eA
now this curiosity h&s descended IN . straight
inc Hgat down through the rex, and lost nothing
IN Tue descent, unless 1t may be argued that II u
little more sublime ROW than It MA4 when Eva
raised the deFu With hcr4elf, Adam, and ali the
rest OF uR.
Sometimes this curiosity assumes forms which
one caunot help aamIrng. think, perhaps, tho
0neas fnstApta u the WOMAN who looks after tho
ndEa's Of her boarders sod u curious about their
1ncotolnSs aud outEotnKA Did Jnu ever tn thts
experience II not tfy It. 1t ii ollssfnL Yon Wi
hnd, In almost Any mornings TRIBUNE, soma
WOMAN saserssssnR for boarders, who preferl
religions onea- Get Into that houae n you car. II
Jou don't get the worth Of Jour money I
am nistaten Tbs amount OF futescat,
nss curiosity, which the win manifest
II yous spiritual condition, tho uneasne,s
she viii oetrny II you happen to be out 0! m svep-
Ing: the quiet lecturea you viii receive on suuday
Afternoons; the alarm she VIII manifest 1t 0ndlnr
cigar on your d1eAstn0- table, and the honor
which will overcome her npon the discotesy Of =
corkFcrcw 10 Eour coat-pocket, can only be Appfe.
cfaled BY those who hare experienced them. A,
the end Of month you Will Ind yourself Won.
dennR why spartnR mercy has saved her 10. a mon.
umehk II the meantime, II yoo are Eolpx 10 t1y
IT, don't leave your ke, In the door when ,ou ro
out fou will make much more gratifying spirtt.
uaa progress BY rot doing It,
NcIt TO the boarding house HurnAu Gomez the
curious netRhbor. vino, hy dtus Of pe,seyertne
cufiottf, knoWa III the secrets Of yaut household
quite u well a. yourself, She will tel you Hhat
you hare for dinner, what company Jau have.
when yno go out, and when you come IN, known
all the title conouhtsl bilIlnRs and hctertnRs and,
- the curious woman u always good talkek, ahe
generally MANAGES to let ali the gosAtps Of the
pet3hhoTho0d know what abe has found out, Let
me whisper secret to Jou. Il Jou live next to
house where the bltnda neattat you are nfways
closed, beware. There Is = FattEna behind those
pllnda- sne has her eye upon you- This curt.
osity Of fatma leads her through AL forts OF dirty
puddfes; hut abe doe&nr care fer that. Sne would
creep through puddle nile ia length 10 find
our what sors Of soup you have for your dtnaet
aud who your W1fes callers are Of an afternoon.
But this curiosity Of women IL nothing 10 the
au11oeity Of men. l am hound to defeud tue Dear
Creatures whenever can. There Ia nothing in
all the cnr,Ghlr5 Of women, Sublime ~ II Is, which
can compare With the curiosity Of men to zee q
great man or notor!ops little Inau. They viii
nocS around him as 1tes dock around zugat
barrel. 1t ia not that they expect 10 make them.
selves any greater By ASSOCIATION with the great
men- In the words OF Jean PAM, ",lt Ia NOT he
cause hts Inner man Il bnrdenta and be4et by the
toulsntiirtrR idea! OF great man. pope, sha1k,
three headcd monster, Or butter model, but 1t IL
because he thluks Ia The norntug,l emit help wou.
ecsipg how the creature iookg, and because In the
Of teef-" The American people have got this
curiosity, OF hero-w osshlp, reduced down 10 ane
po!nt.
"itresef Fere Hyacinthe. o1, more propety,
Poor t5acin1hc. Hardly had he lapded upou TIC
dock at New York before the great American pef,.
pie Lad hlm tT the coas-tAlls. The American peo.
pie arc not satisfied with seeing him. They must
Know all about HIN They must be informed \,
"nat bour he rises; whether he b1shes or not
what be eats for bis breakfast; where he coca IL
the forenoon; how closely be cuts hta nnger nails
when III 1iNHH+ WhHt ha 4u3+
the maiefial Of his uightguwn; whether ha snores
OF not, and, II he docs whether he anures IN Eng
ltsh OF French The Natter who atands over
hin Al dinner Ia considered happy
lndly,doa' because he knows what
the great man eate. The cnambcrmaid who
"FieEs up" hla room l. hlesssd among women
hccauae she cau steal hairs IRON hta hair. brush.
TIE pIopstetors Of the hotel At which he stops
Woold confer an eve1iastaug inror upon the great
American people Il they would post bulletin o.
their front doors. something after the following
fashion:
7am.-rese uyacinthe has tult turned oyer
and stretched t~ice-
sa.m.-Pere HJactnthe, in dressing. has lust
snapped on 4 button from hia 8hltt and cursed In
French.
ga. m.-Pere H5ac1uthc is now bseakfas,1ug on
eeefsteak rare, sotthoiled eggs, and eo1ee- The
fuU0t that be has found = hAlE IN tis csgz Ia not
THE.
loa n+-Terc HJaciuthe has jus. sucezed.
1880 D. m-ftzc Hyaciuthe has tast rung for
CognAc-
II a m--rere H5aclnthe u changing his an.r1
liz meature will hc nscertained shortly, a1d WILL
te announced at the lanntlfy.
II m-Ptre HJaclpthe has Just Informed the
Hev. Adolphua Cream Cheese that be Is not cot,,u
10 the Rcnntnicn1 Council
1p u.-Fere uyac!nihe has h!o*n his nosc sue
cesafn1ly,
an u--rere 1lyac!nthe Is lnnchinR on Fluaa
fiaddte ami Rizss Of ale.
81 m--Pere HJacinthc has blown his nose
neatn. lie desires tnat no one should aftach any
religious significance 10 Il lie has rent won. to
France that be blew It becansc he had cold In
hts head.
~ m-Pere Hsncinthc has Just refused 10 give
Bis handkerchief to Gus1asus Adolphus Of Filth
aEenue.
ap. m-l'ere Hyacinthc ia eas1ng bis dinner,
Ills bill Of fare will be printed IN the morning pa
perh
6p m--rere Esaeiuthe IL asleep in hts chslr,
with Ills feet on the nAntetptece- The report
that be hurst his suspcnae1s IN the operation Of
e.eTattaE bis feet Ia not 1tue. The heal chamber
maid Is confident that he does not wear suspend
err. bat slnnrsr hncklef his bteeches behind.
r. m.-Fese HSscnthe has lust Informed =
Neshodiit Clergy man that he Is NOT i Catholic.
$50 p. m.-rerc nyactnthe has Just Informed a
Rartlss clergy nan that he il Catholic.
s:+s n m.-Ferf Hsacinthe haa Just informed 4
lFcsb5 sesian clergyman that he wAs omer Cath
ole.
7:sar. m.-perc ryacinthc has Just Informed =
t'nlta11an clergyman that he dout know rhat
helA.
p m.--Pe1e 1lyactnthe has Just exclaimed:
u Sor7r .scsn Dtea!'@ he II excited, and nha
1unR for soda wa;er.
an m.-Pere Hyac!uthe has inst gone to bel
lie hun4 his coat on the rocEtnK.cha threw bis
Ecst on the oosEd, put hts watch In his stnck-
los, and threw his pants on the nooy. lie weass =
red cotton nlghtcap. and hlecps on the buck sIde
Of the bed.
10 p. m.-LATkS7!-Pese Hyactnthe has Just
anofed- No further news to night
s0uethlug of THIS ktud would Be Of iuestlUahie
value, 1t would sare 80 much integTte wing. II
pere 1IJaciu,he shoulI e1teud als blessed toe to
be kissed BY the Clergy. do not imagine one Of
The laltf woula ever he alarmed as hane1ais
WA f0u rememheE be vent tu 10 sec the Pope.
with a Prince. The Haly Father held out nll
Venerable TOE. which the Prince deyoutly kis&e,l
Whefeupon KaneRis ncd the apartment In el8rm,
saving II Prince na.l to kiss the toe he could no:
hut drcal the tndtents 10 which be, al h1mb!e
Mau. might be cxpnsctl
l1ow many OF as would he alarmed at the Inl,g-
! n,t5. Don't all speak as oaee.
And now come the Boston cltrKymen, WAC
insist upon giving Ferc HsActuths a vrIep:ioo
whether be wants It or not | think see the
procession hanging to +. us coAttat's--the val,
.aut Methodist shouting his wa1 cgT; the water,
| Baptist WAd.ng Along: TIE ConereE4tsopallss cir.
rylne piece Of Plymouth Rock IL o1s pocket; The
| Presbyterian, o. s. and n. s, with the proceeI
!ugs Of The last synod: the rntsersallst trpttlos
along with his patent rre-ezt!nEul.her; the rn,ta
| nan slta hts latest fashion Of Aonoiheis:n; anG
the little eecsa bringing up the rear ~ the lttls
| boIs bring mp The rear OF the Fourth OF Jul]
rrocessous. Mean rhlie, poor Romaa Catholic
reEe lit acinthe wonders what ID the me aulng o
| hll thu dust he Ia Kicking mp
IL all this toatting And fawrtns
| and cetttnc DOM In thE dir XoffnI OF oar p1nu