Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1869-07-08
CHARLESTOWN THURSDAY, JULY 8, 1863
How Mike Rode the Bull.

4
Mike took a notion to 20 in swimming, and
he had just got his clothes off, when he saw
Deacon Smiths bull making at him. The bull
was vicious animal, and had come near killing
two or three persons, consequently Mike felt
rather iubus." He didn't want to call for
help, for he was naked, and the nearest place
from whence assistance could arrive was the
meeting house, which was at that time filled
with worshippers, among whom was the "gal
Mike was paying his devoursto." Sobe lodged
the bull, as the animal came at him, and
managed to catch him by the tail. He was
dragged round till nearly dead, when hcthousht
he could stand it no longer, he made mp his
mind he had better holler. And now we will
let him tell his own story:
$50, looking at the matter in all its bearings,
I cum to the conclusion that Id better let some
one know whar | was So / gin yell, louder
than locomotive whistle, and it warn't long
before seed the deacon's two dogs a coming
down like as f they war seeing which could
get thar first. know'd who they were arter
they'd iined the bull ag'in me. So scz l,
old brindlc, as ridin' is as cheap as wakin' on
this route, if you've no objections, III jist take
deck passage on that ar back yourn.' so
/ warn't very long Citing astride of him
Then, if you'd been thar, you'd have sworn
that thar warn't any thing human in that ar
mir, the sile flew so orGully, as the crittcr and
I rolled round the field-one dog on one side
and one on the other, trying to clnch my feet.
I prayed and cussed. and cussed and prayed,
until conldn't tell which / did last-and
neither warn't Of no use, they were so orfully
mixed up.
"Wcll. reckon rid about half an hour
this way, when old brindle thought it time to
stop to take in supply of wind and cool oil
little. So when we got round to tree that
stood thar, he naturally halted, so sez !, old
boy, you'll lose one passenger sartin. so Jst
clum up a branch, kalkerating to roost TILL
starved afore I'd be rid round that ar way any
longer. war a making tracks for the top OF
the tree. when / heard suthin' maxim an
orful buzzn' overhead. kinder looked up,
and if thar wasn't-well thar's no use a
swarin'-but it war the biggest hornets nest
ever bilt. You'll gin in now reckon, Mike,
cause there's no help for you. But the idea
struck me then that I stood heap better
chance ridin' the bull than whar was. Sc7
l. old feller, if you'll hold on, I'll ride to the
next station anyhow, let that be whar it will.
so jist dropped aboard him agin, and
looked aloft to sec what had gained by chan
gin quarters, and gentlemen, I'm liar, II
thar warnt nigh half bushcl Of the stinSin
varments ready to pitch into me when the
word go was gin. Well reckn they got
it. for all hands started for our company
Some on 'em hit the dogs-about quart
struck me. and the rest charged on brindle.
"Tbis time the dogs led off fust, dead bent
for the old deacon's, and as soon as old brlndlt
and could get under way We followed, and
as was only deck passenger, | had nothln
to do with the steerin' the craft; if had, We
shouldn't have run that channel anyhow
But, as I said before, the dogs took the lead
brindle and next, the hornets drc'kly arter
The dogs ycllin,-brindlc hollerin, and th'
hornets buzzin' and stingin'.
"Well, we had got about two hundred yard
from the house, and the deacon heard US anC
cum out. | seed him hold up his hand, and
turn white. / reckon he was prayin' then, foi
he didn't expect TO be called for so soon, and
it warn't long neither aforc the whole consre'
gation-meu women and children--cum out
and then all hands went to yellin'. None o'
'em had the fust notion that brindle and be-
longed to this world I just turned my head
and passed the whole congregation. Iseed the
run would be up soon, for brindle couldn't turn
an inch from fence that stood dead ahead
Well. VIC reached that fence, and | went ashore
over the whole critters head, landing on Tho
other side, and lay there stunned.
1T warn't long afore some OF them as was
not scared. cum runnin' TO sec whar war; fol
all hands kalkerlated that the bull and ! be-
longed together. But when briudle walked Of
by himself, they seed how it war, and one Of
EN- said:
"Mikc Fink has got the scrummagc once
in his life !"
Gentlemen, from that day dropped th'
courting bizness, and never spoke to ga
since, and when my hunt is up upon this
yearth, there won't be any more Finks, aud its
all OWN TO Deacon Smiths brindle bull.