The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-08-04
c,rs CATAeoR1cA1Lr CossrpERrp.


CATS CATAGoRIcALLY CoNsIDERED.-
| We never did Like cats. When s'in in
fancy we strayed," our delight was to
capture the ancient tabby, that slum-
bered in peace and sunshine on the
doorstep, and ehaw on it with our infant
teeth. AS we grew older our dislike to
them increased. We couldn't endure q
catechism, even, We 30 disliked cats.
And as for Pussyism, it never found favor
with us. .-srstl4 II i c sjor ' BE- ,t
The first time we ever cot a black eve
was all on account ofa cat. .teSr s7Tr a !.
There lived near our native vale an
Italian Countess named Bridget Ma
honey, who had ret ired from the world
and sought life, liberty and the pursuit
of happiness far away from her ariste.
cratic connections, with many others of
her exiled compatriots, on o classic re-
gion known as Vinegar Hill. She has
TIVE strapping boys and lean, wall
eyed gray cat. This fine, high-spirited
animal was of the feminine gender, and
accustomed to attend assemblages of
her sex, and attend nightly conventions
of the Female Cats Rights Association,
that met on the woodshed attached to
the next house to ours. When high
words passed between the members, aud
when, as was not unfrequently the case,
a wretch of masculine cat came spy
ing about, and calling for his "Murrier
-Murrier," she would pounce upon tne
hlscreant ana make tne luz n.y. I'D.
The point OF her arguments generally
told with effect.
Now this Incompatible and accom-
plished Tabby had enemies among ner
own as well as the opposite SEX She
was hated because OF her eloquence ana
power Among her enemies was 'Ae
youth OF calm demesnor' miscnieVous
propensltles and torn trowsers' whose
room was reached from the woodshed
where those feline arguments OF the
Female Cats Association were made.
The number OF shoebrushes' bosties'
sticks and stones that boy and his part
ner, who lived next door, threw at
those cats were incslculable.
One night the discussi on grew so hot
that it was determined by the two boys
to break 1t Hp. Cleverly their plans
were laid. They procured nice piece
of meat and fastened it to string, run
ming the string to the bedroom win
dow. "s'."
Everything being fully prepared, the
result was awaited impatiently.
At the regular hour of ten o'clock the
Female Cats Rights Association COM
menced assembling. One OF the first to
come was fabby. Cautiously she ap-
preached the bait, smelt it, and, in o
few seconds, bolted it string and all.
We had her on string then. She sputter-
ed and spitted and got her back up
about it, but it was of no avail. We
had che cat where the hair was short.
Hauling her into the pillow-case we
had prepared in lieu of bag, we went
over to the neighborhood of the resi-
dence Of Mrs. Mahoney, and tying q
pack of fire crackers to the cats tail, we
touched them off and let her went.
Every time one of those crackers
were discharged Tabby was rolled over
endwise. Away she went, now run
nirg, now rolling, through hole in
the door of the Countess castle, the
crackers popping and swapping like a
young Fourth of Jnly.
In a moment we heard row IN the
house. The cat was rushing round ike
mad, waking up Biddy and her boys
and setting them to swearing and pray
ing all at once. The cat finally made
dive throsgh the open stove and stuck
fast in the stove pipe. whence she was
afterwards extracted 'olacker Dut
wiser cat. i
AS we boys sat on DaDR Vi SrdFoA
listening to and Laughing at tno 10"
the cat had kicked up, we heard Mrs'
Bridget say to her sons: Ilm' leddy'