The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1869-05-30
WIZ AND WISDOM.


A foreign Acknowledgements for
what fairs should young men shun most
Fair deceivers.
The bump Of destructivenees-A railroad
'O, whot flower would furnish your drawing
room best Rose would:
The uely side Of pature-The reflection
If ones self in the looking glass. l.
nnon what object in nature has every
author writtenf Upon the earth. /
,I.rv voupg men are SO improyident that
.,,ar, cannot keep anything but late hours.
when did the alphabet get into q rowf
when A bet, b fit, d cried, ragged, . bit
and X pounded. .rI so
II is useless to look for money IN an
,,n,v noeket. even with the best bank
note detector. s--. -f -s,---s.
Thin Man-"Boy, what's that hungry
dog following me for J" Soy. ne thihAs !
Won are a bone, reckon.
An old saw may be very bright Provero
or very duli
divide wood. rNr f4i. - '-. -. :,
ar have the best wife in the world" said
,nng suffering husband, "s she always
strikes me with the soft end OF the broom J!
uwbat branch of education do you have
chiefly in your school ~ "a willow branch,
sir; the master has used l up a'mos' wn''e WIN
e Porter" asked an old lady of a railway
,,,rtar sswhen does the nine O'Clock train
leave ~ " Sixty minutes past eight, mum"
was the reply s-7z
uTbis is capital ale," said an old topper
.lsae how long it keeps its head" "Ah"
said bystander, but consiuer no" SOON
it takes away yours J" 5H,l :
man. seeing two crows flying side by
lido EXCLAIMED. "That is democratic. 1t
ANYTHING paiBs me it is to see one crow
over another"
Tom Moore compared love to potato,
"because it shoots from the eyes :. -. OF
rather" exclaimed Byron,- because IL oe-
comes less by pairing"
man said to his friends that when he
married. he loved his wife SO much that he
could have eaten her up, ana ever SINCE
had regretted he didn't.
A contemporary speaks of an individual
who buys one or two, shares OF stock In
every bank, in order to go to all the annual
elections and eat all the annal dinners"
At an auction of miscellaneous articles
out of doors, it began to sprinkle, when a
bystaAder advised the auctioneer that the
next article he had better put up should be
an umbrella
Young Lady" Oh, am SO glad you
most % Old Squab--" Well, think the
goose, with plenty Of stuffing, is about Al
good as any"
The papers relate an anecdote of beau
tiful young lady, who had become blind
having recovered her sight after marriage
Whereupon Snooks wickedly observes tina
it is no uncommon thing for peoples eyes II
be opened by matrimony.a -
A theological student, supposed to be de
fcient in judgment, was asked by pro
fessor, in the course of class examination
"Pray, Mr.-E--, how would you discoye
fool 2" "By the questions lie would ask,
was the rather stunning reply.
Smith and Brown, running opposite way
around corner, struck each other. " vi
DEAR how you made my head ring,' sal
Smith. "That's sign it's hollow" sal
Brown. "But didn't yours ring 7" :" No.
"That's a Sign it's cracked" repllea HI
friend.
The Yankee farmer whose e<pigs were E
lean that it took two~of them to make
shadow, has been beaten by another, VIII
had several SO thin that they would crav
out througbe,the cracks in their stye.
finally stopped that fun by tying knots
theirtails!
The boy who, when asked to what trat
- he wished to be brought up, replied, g
will be trustee, because ever since pal
has been trustee we have had pudding
dinner,n was a wise child in his generation
The greatest successes nowadays are tho
Connected with the dealing with other pc
ple's money
-" Why does the operation OF haug1t
kill man n inquired Arch bishop Whatel
Because replied a Psychologist, insr
ration is chOked, circulation is stopped, al
blood suffases and congests the brain
Bosh :" exclaimed his Grace /; ait is b
cause the rope is not long enough to let
feet touch the ground"
Old Parson M, of Torrigford, was que
sort of man. One time, when most
his congregation had most of them dispos
themselves for the afternoon nap, he sta
tied them, as well as their ideas of prop
ETY., by asking, in his loudest tone, 90 WI
is the price of butter9" At another tin
some strangers coming to church with hi
the congregation paid more attention
them than they did to him. Losing all ]
tience, he stopped and said, Those fol
in my pew are my cousins from H,
you needn't stare at them any more"
Ho'o One Boy Whipped A"othsr-s