The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1869-11-19

] "a N 0lLsi4esS Or ne DenI0cTdflc H1HdgsTa
asd has a Good Thing N has Hcysds, 6sa
! Whisky 5Lgkts Ais Prospects, as II has Haay
/ hnlss before.
Moo YoEK, Nov. 9, 1859.
Rstrospex may be profitable, but when VOC
cast your pierein eye back and outo time
when yoo made a cussid ass Nv yoorselE they
are far from beiu pleasant. I am doin that
thing at this present moment. wunst agin
fOrtOOn hez been within my grasp, and
wunst Agin heVe permitted it to slip from
me! geoi Fooll LOonaticl I arrived
in this city two days before the recent slsek-
shun, feeling that where votes wuz in sich a
demand there must be suthin to be made for
me- By inquiry found where the head
quarters nv the Democratic General Commit
tee for the city Wuz located, and At about 10
A. u, which means in the morning, I went
there intendin to offer myself ez a man nv all
Werk for the two days suceedin. | found
there q vast crowd nv men, who were all uT
EN- like me in some respects, Vsryin uveourse
in many Piuts, bat all Nv the same species.
The chairman Nv the committee was distri-
butin funds to EN- 70 be yoosed, and they
WIZ wAlEin up to get instructions in sort
Nv a procession, and shoor enuff the mar dis
tributin haadid me package, sayin ''Tereuce,
be sbonr 700 git en- up from the ship-Bsr-
ney AcShane win give yez the papers for
en-, and tell yez wat names to vote EN- uu-
derri
He he'd mistook me fer Terence somebody.
Shood I undeceive him? Never So, slip
pin the package into my pocket answered
assOming the Irish brogue;
"ArrAh, musha, be iaoers me jewel. I'm
the bre."
Fortunitly wuz crowded out before he'd
time to air much more Irish. 1 wusn't a
success es taikin Irishmsn. At the foot nv
the stairs l opened the package. 1t wuz
greenba1l This money, sed to myself,
"wuz given me to further the coz Nv De
mocracy. for that parpose I'll use it. II
start a grocery" And forthwith that day,
leased q room in a Democratic locality, pur-
chased a counIer, bari OF whisky, a dozra
tumblerA htaogrsph pOrtrste Nv Gin-ral
Jackson and Gov. Hoffman, and wuz I'll
ready for bizness the mornin Nv eleckshua
y There wuz rush the momrnt took the
shutters down, and took in moaey faster
than ever had before in nv life.
"At last" sed I to myself eIuitinly, rat
last heV found my speer. Nasty, yOor IN
luck. I'll drink 20 my luck"
And took nip. Skasely wuz il down
before ward politishun cum in with three
OF four voters, wich he Wuz takin care Nv.
They drank, tSe leeder Of the party askin me
to jine em, wich did. Ez they went out /
eoodent avoid drinkin to the success nv the
ticket; then TO the confooshen Nv Horris
Greeley, then to the memory of James Boo
kAnnon, then to the memory of Franklin
Pierce; then to JEFF. Davis, and by this time
/ found myself outside of the bar, into the
middle nv the room, in confoosed state nv
mind and body. In short, wuz very drunk.
Moo York whiskey Amt like the Kentucky
article.
At this eritikel moment man entered
hurriedly, and seein me leaning agin the
wall, went behind the bar and helped himself.
Seein him behind the bar l forgot that wuz
the landlord myself I knowed Wuz in q
grocery-that bein where am most Nv the
tIme-bul in my intoxication | forgot that
wuz landlord, and the misable wretch behind
the bar, compreheudin the sitooshen, let ne
go on in my delOoshion. Staggerin up to
the bar sed, "set EN- up agin," wich he did
and drank soIemnly to tie memory Nv
George H. Pendletsn and the other dead
Democracy Nv my own whiskey, and then
like the loonatic vuz, paid for it out Nv
my own pockit, and kept paying for whisksy
for others ez long ez | he'd dollar! The
man behind the bar, then asked me to
drink wich did; then asked a crowd Nv
,ellows wich come in to drink with me, tell.
ing the new bAr-keeper to charge it, wich be
sed he woed, lafin uproariously.
It's astonishin how strong habit is! The
moment found he'd credit, commenst
improvin Nv it. sSet EN- upr' shreekt ez
each new squad come in, "set EN- upP' and
the alacriiy with wich they drank Uuz won
derful. The news got out that in sich 6
place there wuz loonstic treetin everybody
who came in, aud perfect stream rushed
In. :- -a
| remember bat very little ~ wat occur.
red. l recollect distinctly nv Totin three Of
four times, and nv resurnin each time to my
place and treatin a crowd, tellin the bar
keeper to charge it, remember wunst feel
in bad for him, and sayin con6deutially to
man who was takin suthin with me, that thi
house woul1nit last long eff it continyood Il
give credit misseilaneously, fOrgettiu in m.
drunkenness that il wuz my VII skey | WI
Idrinkin and given to others to drink all th
time
needn't coutinyoo this confession Sui
fee it to ss,, that the next m'rnin aWok
lin that identical room chilled completed
thru. There wuz no wnIsksy in the BARR
not eRuff for my rnornIn nip, and | hedn' I
cent in my pocket. ez he'd paid all that VT
left Nv the committees money and wat | NJ
taken in early in the day for my own lick'
to the fellow who took advantage Nv n
condishen ID usurp my place
shel never succeed on that side Nv a bal
| am aot kaIkilated TO take care Nv my ow
Whiskey- t
/ shel not, however, leave Moo York. "
J heV got the Legislature now, and shel fir
D suthin to do. We shel, nv course, repeal Il
! the Metropolitan Police law and all 9th
I laws wich takes control out Nv the hands q
: Democratic ofishels, and ef amongst so mu'
stee.in ez there il goin to be, ther aintt sat
in for me it will be singler. This is the tr
;; ; Democratic paradise. We hev tat Ablis
nests to tax, and the control is in our hanf
and here stay. To git an ofhs l may h
TO change my name to Michael, eE d
wuast before, but shel do it. / am too
to wander up and down the earth, and he
: stick.
q PFrRoLEuN v. NAsBI,
i Wich Uuz Postmaster.
n The Detroit Post contains the fC