The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-05-27

der to shoot a squirrel on the top of 9
tall tree, climbed another one close by
and on being asked his reason for SC
foolish a freak, said he didn't want to
strain his gun by long shot!
A country clergyman says he has
married but one couple in year, and
that they paid him nothing stayed ia
dinner as it was rainy day and Dor.
rowed his umbrella when they left
which he has never seen since.
A wag at dinner party called out
suddenly to the host, "Dfr. Smith )"
There was silence. "Mr. Smith what
is the proper female companion of this
John Dory?" After the usual number
of guesses an answer came, "Anne
Cho,y."
| "When young lady is very frivo-
lous," said gentlehan with Pecks-
nilfian al. air Of speaking on general
terms and meaning som" one pal''eu.
lar, II pay very little attention to INV
she says. Her remarks pass in at one
ear and out the other" "That is upon
the principle that things pass readily
through vacuum" rejoined the lady.
The Yankee farmer whose pigs were
so lean that it took two Of them to make
a shadow. has been beaten by another,
who had several so thin that they would
crawl out through the cracks in their
stye. He finally stopped that fun by ty-
ing knots in their tails!
A Trinity College (Dublin) man was
talking the other day upon the small
value attached to life by uncivilized
nations. Somebody remarked that in
China, if man were condemned to
death he could easily hire a substitute
to die for him. "Ah yes said L. c,
d., IL believe many poor fellows get
their living by being substitutes that
way"
jamie was sitting in the front gallery
wide awake, when many were slumber-
ing around him. The clergyman en-.
dcavored to awaken the attention of
his hearers by stating the fact saying.
you see even Jamie Fraser, the idiot
does not fall asleep, as so many you
are doing Jamie not liking to be thus
designated, cody replied, San hadna |
been an idiot, wad ha' been sleepiu'
too"
mo Irish need Apply CA Fact. J
Maid: If please ma'am l wish to
leave Immediately" distress why p
Maid: Nv hen l took the place ma'an
| was not aware that master was Irish.
My friends would never forgive me If
took servicei in an Irish family" Mis-
tress: "But you came to us from the
Marquis of Ballymaioney's" Maid
''Yes ma'am but his lordship was nev-
en- at home while | was there
"What' that p asked Mrs. Parting
ton, looking up at the column of the
Place Vendome. during her late visit to
Paris. "The pillar of Napoleon" she
was answered. ''We!l l never did ~
she exclaimed and that's his pillow
he was great man to use that! But
it's more like bolster. And it's made
of iron, ! do believe, All! Isaac see
what it IS TO be great. How hard his
head must have rested on this ironical
pillow"
AGcrman baker found himself under
the necessity of chastising his son iol
piIfering. The boy being rather strong
was able to resist successfully. There
upon the parent hired an assistant and
administered the tlasellation with 8
hoop pole. When the boy cried fol
quarter, the philosophic baker granted
it, saying, II youst don't lick no more
for shtealing mine money, but | geefs
dis man half dollar to holt you dowen
und now l geefs you dat mush worth
more"