The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-11-20
WIT AND WIsno~

~ IAuy VINO STOPPED to Conouer f"
made mOrtifying failure. She w". .1usr, -au,
by good.looking printer, who tbor"hs ,JSoIeu %Sl
an excellent pickup" - "e'
" WE'LL, Patrick, What have vor y -
about stealing the pigY "WelI YER bo3
arr, ye see, i was jist this; The pip tnt
upon him to shleeP in my bit Of garden for
three nights, yer honor-r, and list sazed
him for the rint ~
A PERPLExED Jew who had made q O,r
ment for youth, and found himself unable
to dispose Of the surplus fulness which an
Peared when trying it on the young candi-
date, declared vOciferously that " de- coat i
goot 1t is no fault Of de coat. De nov i
too SLIM"
A DOWN east editor who has been Leen;no
a record Of big beets, announces at last thai
the beet that beat the beet that beat tho
other beet is now beaten by beet that beat
all the beets, whether the original beet, the
beet that beat the beet, or the beet that
beat the beet that beat the other beet.'
The correspondent of an exchange meet
lng party of settlers the other day in Ter.
as, inquired rOmthe conductor what the
men in the frst wagon were intended sor
10 clear the forests" WELL" said he.
" and what are those in the second for ?''
. TO build the huts, was the reply. "And
that old white-headed man in the third
what is be fOr?" was the question asked, to
which the reply was given: "Oh, that's
my father, +; we shall open our new cemetery
with him." The correspondent did not in
quire further.
PArRIck saw bull paving in q field,
and thought how amusing it would be to
jump over, catch him by the horns and rub
his nose in the dirt. The idea was so funny
that he laid down and laughed to think Of il.
The more he thought Of it the funnier il
seemed and be determined to do il. Bovus
quickly tossed him over the fence. Some
what bruised. Patrick leisurely picked him
self M, with the consolatory reflection
" Well, it's mighty foino thing / had my
laugh foOrst.
RICHES weigh more heavily upon talent
than poverty. Under gold mountains and
thrones lie buried many spiritual giants.
When to the flame that the natural beat Of
yooth kindles, the oil of riches is added,
little more than the ashes Of the Phoenix re-
mains-Jean Paul.
A FARMERS son had for long time been
Ostenslbly studying latin in popular acade-
my. The farmer not being satisfied with
the course of the young hopeful, recalled him
from school, and placing him beside Of the
cart one day, thus addressed him:
Now, Joseph, there is fork, and there
is heap Of manure and a cart-what do
you call them in Latin p
FOrkibus, cartibus, ct manuribus, said
Joseph.
"Well, now" said the old man, "ifyou
do not take that forkibus pretty quickibus,
and pitch that manuribus into that cartibus,
will break your lazy backibus.
Joseph went to workibus forthwithibus.
There is perennial nobleness in work."
So wrote Carlyle while indulging in one of
those grand flights Of thought 50 peculiarly
bis Own. This is a sublime truth too Of
ten lost sight Of amid the hustle and
confusion Of everyday life. We grow
weary and forget that this very WEAKNESS is
productive Of the highest good which it is in
the nature Of man to reach. The pangs Of
sorrow, and all the mental ills to which
we can claim beirshiP, are soothed to rest
and made powerless for evil by the potency
Of the spell which busy hands and hearts
throw over them.
A WAC having a dispute with man who
kept a sausage shop, and owing him
grudge, ran into his store one day, as he
was serving several customers, with an inn
mense dead cat, which he suddenly deposit
ed on the counter, saying: This makes
nineteen, as you're busy now, well settle
another time, and he was off in twink
ling. The customers aghast, soon followe~
him, leaving their sausage behind.