The Portland daily press., 1869-12-15
Gossip and GIeanings.

thirty thousand bugs.
There are over three hundred females
employed by Government.
New York has bread machine that
makes 5000 loaves per hour.
Victor Hugo asks guinea for the poor
every time a stranger asks him for his auto
graph.
Leigh Hunt used to call the strains of a
bagpipe "The agonies of ture tied to a
post"
The belle of Covington, Indiana, wears
number eights, and is passionately fond of
bear meat.
"A Western town is without newspaper
because "the ladies' sewing society answers
just as WELL"
"A gentleman who was for eight years an
attache of the New York Herald saws that
during all that time he did not see James
Gordon Bennett.
Josh Billings says there is only one good
substitute for the endearments of a sister and
that iz the endearments ov some other phel-
lows sister,
Peter Tuffle, a well-known stock k-dealer of
Whitehall, ILL.,, has failed and suddenly disap-
peared, leaving an idebtedness of upward of
$4,000 behind him.
Two children Of a woman who disap-
peared from Manchester sixty-five years ago,
have suddenly turned up as heirs to the prop
erty of an auntju deceased.
The singing of sacred songs has been pro-
hibited in the schools of Cincinnati, from
which the Bible was recently excluded. This
is progress backward
The French affectation of speaking of
"Mrs. Such-a-one nee So-and. so," is singularly
inappropriate in this country where we never
say lady nay.
The greatest pleasure of life is love; the
greatest treasure is contentment; the greatest
possession is health; the greatest ease is
sleep; the greatest medicine is true friend.
"A pious old lady of the last century, in
speaking of the Unversalists, said "Poor
creatures, all they have to rely upon is the
mercy of God"
"A Chicago lawyers name is to be strick-
en- from the rolls "for unprofessional con-
duct" He probably left a few cents in the
possession of his client, Contrary to usage.
), George A. Stearns, of Castleton, VT, lin
company with his wife and three others from
Connecticut, have made engagements to 60 to
South America, where they are to pass three
years as teachers in a literary institution.
"A little boy having broken his rocking
horse the day it was bought, his mother
began to scold, when he senced her by in
quiring: "What's the good of horse until
it's broke?"
"A lady of Williamsport, Pa, has not been
able to sleep wink in month. Examina-
ton into the cause by eminent physicians re-
vealed the terrible truth that her night gown
was out of fashion.
There was almost a wedding in st.
Joseph the other day. The bridegroom, min
ister and guests were there, but the bride
wasn't. An enterprisings lover had carried
her off an hour before.
-Brevet Captain Albion Howe, of the
Fourth artillery, has been relieved from duty
at the Artillery School at Fortress Monroe,
and ordered to his company at Fort Washing
ton.
$50 you are going to keep school?" said
a young lady TO her old aunt. "Well, for my
part, sooner than do that, would marry a
widower with nine children" 81 should pre-
fer that myself" was the quiet reply; "but
where is the widower?n
"A negro was run over by an ox-cart in
Houston, Texas, and for this brought the dri-
yer of the team before Justice. Justice dis
missed the case, it being common law that
any negro slow enough to be run over by an
OK team is too slow to sue.
An inebrated man in Lawrence, Kansas
was found clinging TO a fence, looking help
lessly at neighboring row of shade trees.
"Halloa,' said friend who came up, "What's
the matter, Jake?' Dunno, hic," responded
Jacob "that id procession's nevers goin,
to git past" ..........
Rain, rain, and SUM- a rainbow In the sky!
young man will be wiser by and by;
An old mans wit may wander ere he die.
Rain, rain, and sun! rainbow on the lea,
And truth is this TO me, and that to thee; r.
And truth or clothed or naked let il be.
Rain, sun, and rainl and the free blossom blows;
sun. rain, and sun! and where is he who knows
From the great deep to the great deep he goes.
-1ennyson's Holy Grail.
A man in New York saw his name exhib-
tied on placard as candidate for Alderman.
He at once tore it down, and being carried be-
fore the Magistrate, thus explained his mo-
tive: 81 have been an honest and respectable
man Tor ty years, and L won't be held up
to public ium and contempt by having it
represented that am candidate for Alder
man,
An irascibie old gent, who formerly held
the nosition of Justice of the Peace, was one
dav accosted in the street by youth, in a
manner that did not come up to his Honors
idea of respect due him. "Young man. said
he, 81 fire you S5 for contempt of court
why, Judge" said the offender, "you are not
in session." "This Court, replied the Judge
thoroughly irritated, "is always in session,
and consequently always an object of con-
tempt"
Two Scotch clergy, who were not so long
headed as they themselves imagined, met one
day at the turning of street, and ran their
heads together unawares. The shock was
rather stunning to one of them. He pulled
off his hat, and, laying his hand on his fore
head, said, "Sic blow! My heed's a'ringing
again." mae wonder" said his companion;
your heed was aye IS (empty); that makes
it ring. My heed disna ring Bit" "How
could it ring" said the other, seeing it is
cracket? craket vessels never ring"
"A wood sawyer, who was piling wood
near the railroad track at Edgerton, Ohio, one
day last week, noticed, while standing on the
pile as the lightning train approached, a large
stick lying upon the rail. Without mo-
ment's hesitation he leaped directly before the
train and grasped the stick. At that instant
the engine struck him and hurled him some
distance forward. He fell to the ground
mangled and lifeless, but he had saved the
train.