The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-08-03
Mr. Slab Prnnrhe. on arnha.


From ne Chicago POt.
Ny young brethren, there are I've
Grabs. I call them
ls!. QaIek, UnmItisated DlShonssIy
sd. slow, unnI.lsAtod Dishonesty
Grab. ~
%. MLtlgAted Dishonesty Grab.
4th. Honesty Grab.
9th. Honest.hang-on Grab.
Choose ye among them.
lS!. quick, UHNitgated DishoneSty
This grab takes your watch or pocket
book, II II can get any thing over half q
chance. Let's look Gt II o. little. -
Suppose one OF you should start out
10 ride down TO QuRbaug station on the
cars. You are too mean TO 20 In, pay
your fare like q man and ride
like o man. 80 walt I'LL the
train starts and then run, lap your
stlngy fingers over the edge Of the hind
platform, draw up your body and legs
lust 90 that Tho seat Of your trousers
can't bump the ties, and expect to ride
ten mlleB In that fashion. Why, bless
you, you couldn't do i6 any more than
you could hold on 70 q chunk Of butter
with O red hot fork 5i.i la.2g III - I
NOW, it 10 Just that way with this
Quick, UnmiliRated. Dishonesty Grab.
II only has the end Of ItB hnRerH over
the edge Of the. hind platform, and
sooner Or later Il muAt drop. And II
makes spot pretty near under the
last too, Bad Grab: Not the kind you
want, my young brethren.
I'd. StotO, y UnpIfltgdted Dishonesty
That nice lawyer across the Way, who
has q style Of taking ten dollArsslrom
each Ignorant client for every ten uOulH
worth OF service rendered, possesses q
regular presumption right 10 this kind
OF grab. He believes Will Lord Brolgh.
am, that 10 have no conscience bnt his
clients interest (lncomO, I suppose be
means-and l will add 10 pluck that
income clean 10 6ne feathers) IL the
key 70 The, practice Of the law Yes,
that lawyer has this kind Of Grab very
bad, my brethren. 'GiNT .f7
Old Mr.. Tenpercenter ahoWs II, too,
whom he cuts bis pound Of flesh and
then scrapes lhe! bone for o Hectic more
because the law alloWBit,tUT ~ ~
You see 1t also In that polite, ginger.
toed merchant who shaver You 90 nice
and close that you-oh, bless your
heaEt-y0u could never think OF calling
him 9, rogue, % .l' iuG 4r!
DON'T cat after any OF these patterns,
brethren. IL you do, the great here
alter Will Aurely hnd them all too
large 70 20 Through the narrow door OF
Kingdom Come, 4.la7!- .a....r. I--n
3D., MuiGqted .DiShone8tyy Grab.
This Grab induces o man 10 borrow
your wheelbarrnB for . few minutes,
keep Il . month, oTltIll he breaks II, and
when you are tired Of waiting, It ena-
bliss hlm % quietly SEQ you come and
take 1t away and get Il msndsd ct your
own expense. That other man had Il,
too, when he borrowed the ten dollar
bill Of you more than six months ago,
promising on his honor he would pay
II back IN. an hour oE two, when he
couldn't see q shadow, as big as 0 scent
OF muak OF ever paying It back, unless
he believed God IN some way would
prosper his lazlness. ."ylg aas7alro. ~.
My young brethren, that kind oil
grab WON'T do either Yon may take 1t
up and find II 10 answer fora lIttle
while, bpt, by and by, when you are
least expecting It, down Yon Will 90,
and go, TOO, with such q habit Of mean,
ehiitless lAzlness n fastened on 70 you,
that death Will have no, race OF all to
overtAke you, ana n Gabriel don't have
bot1e tall tootl1e 70 do "a! ke1 ,Yon up
when the 't1iofhlng of feBu ERECTION
comes, then / shall lbe mistaken. ll'J
No, my ibfethrehs none 6f' these dis.
honest grabs are the Find: II you
choose any OF them, the chances will
surely be aginst you, no matter what
you take hold Of, something will al.
ways be fapping your hngers, and
making them weak, for God won't
mean you should stick unless he wauts
TO use You, somehow, as 4 sort OF judg.
tnent on the wicked. p7b1H'-'5 ~
4h. Honesty Grab. ..5,i..t9 1G- E'"'.
This ID. better than any Of the grabs
yet considered. But LOOK out for this,
TOO, my brethren. IL often makes q
man too lazy e&feleSS or Indifferent to
get go6a hold;l and II he don't Get a
bold, ne will go down as sure Rsa d uck
can swim, Very few on the road OF
progress will ever ask you whettier You
want help or not. They will he more
aptto tread on your fingers, catch hold Of
yout coat tails, and try 10 hang on, or
serve YOU II they have the power, .tts a
big hog Aon1etih1es serves his brothers
when pc wGntA TO get into the middle
Sts YHFn r Pest ss Sn heOld night IN Jan;
The man that shoosss this grab may
mean we'll enough, hut then, you
know, that hot place down there that
BoEnetimes preach about, Ia 'atso pa y Cd
with good Intentions, I, The trouhls IL,
he not only slips very often himself,
but when be, does, he Is mighty Apt 10
drag down helpless, innocent ones
Admire t6e virtues ot Honesty Gtab,
my brethren, but remember that In This
rouRhscorlered temporal existence OF
ours pork and potatoes, whole shirts
and warm fires are good things to have
In the house also Theta fore witch II
we'll, MY bfethrati,, before vol thoosa
It. II may do, aud 'then againit may
net. .ilEDHiontJ
!5Lhu Honest, Hong on Grab. .snu'ih
There are no lis nor ands about this
grab 11knoItt. nb.llks II. II can re-
c0n1mpnd iia IfAlman chooses It, no
mRtter huVfast the old vehicle rolls,
when he takes hold he hangs ON, and
heisoAreful how he tRlrea hold that be
may hang on. BE takes q regular,
honest, bulldog bold, my brethren! He
makeA surelhetS right, then throws 10
al!hi8 grltiA nd hahgs. IT'LL the patches
hy. &c II 2ulId h!Ug8 i!ai .lsaG.i.gu
ThaVa the kind obdfabl for you, and
that issthe kind you must have, VI you
WAnIto' be OF any more account here
than 80 many died leaves floating
downcthe, caFfentl OF progress My
young hrethefnTtf ,5on hGven't got It,
luse set olworlDadd hunt till you find
IT. though you have 10. light your laif~
terms and take them.With you, even as
the old philosopher did when he went
out to look for an honest man. ,hRm'
JEH1KL 0hkB, Lay Preacher,
-SkL.sl.L. lLlu- FaBtl
7 n,t.i ~ ~ tgT.gT IT, ltF.it --sf-s4.fnr 4