The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1869-11-30
MANNERS OF THE PERIOD.
The Freedom, of Modern Social Life.

the Chicago Republican with the foilo%lnS'
Somebody wants o chapter on what may be
S termed intimate etiquette. This Is touched by
such INQUIRIES as we see IN the correspondents
column of ladies' papers, where Lucia wants 70
know If she ought to allowa gentleman 10 KISS
her when she comes home with him from con-
cert, and Caroline is dubious wnetner sue
orght To correspond with her friends betr0th-
ed in secret. One can't but sympathlze win
the Young ladies, knowing how inconsidefate-
ly some one has neglected duty toward tnef1.
Mothers and guardians seem often 10 lancy
that knowledge how TO conduct ones sen III
the delicate dllemmas sof lic GENES Dy IN,
stiuct. Girls leave boarding school and
fo into .society with the vaS'lest OF
notions about their relations to II, ard stunt
blethrough its small difficulties. hiding thc.r
embarrassments us best they can, Keeping
brave front to the last, while the world never
guesses the .secreS fortunes, they undergo ID
Z Irifing matters. 0ften enough for. mere resi-
less craving for novel condolences, young
Indies seek public instead OF private advice,
when their mothers or friends are quite ready
and competent to give then all the help they
need But there Is great GeA OF Trial tnat
bcsets young girls at the age when they ieel
alurcments most keenly, which the best parents
forget TO provide against. They ought to re-
cali their own debates or etiquette in youth,
and teach their children prudence before they
need il. FOrewarned, forearncd-
.Nelle, see here" says prudent father TO
his girl Of sixteen, Ia her tarletan ball dress,
: earning her slippers before the fire, waiting
for her escor:-lf girls ever do any OF the wall
ing. .sYou'fe looking swectly fresh tonight.
and M fresh in heart as In dress, hope. You
/, are 10 stay so, do you hear, naadahe'.? You
are not toilet people hold you close when you
waltz. nobodyshas any business to touch you
fllI YOU have q lover or husband OF your own
! don't want my g:ritalled abont. Remember,
nopI has the least right, on any pretence,
TO do more than touch your fingers, or lay his
hanfl on Won in the permitted freedom of the
waltz, unless he is your relative or going
to be-" o,.,,,, s,t ,r ,ho
conservatory, letting handsome Jack, the fast
Hat and lady killer, slip his arm by degrees
from the back Of her chair, lift her loeket irom
her bare neck, and kiss her hand, I'LL he dared
kiss her5lIps and gather her close to him,
which would probably be the sixth time they
mot. az farthest You see men and women
like such things.
It's right they should Pm not going to belle
the blood that beats in this wrist one instant,
tosay they should not Only one m, may @ nave
some choice, as to whether one Will accept
caresses from the wholesale stock OF natarai
liking, or the special, reserved fund, of pre-
cions preference. Suppose, young warm.
hearted girl, that as you lean on that broad
shoulder In the half-lit parlor tonight, think
ing how nice it Is to have somebody f0nd anu
protecting, and how dear you seem to be to
him, suppose you should, by some Invisible
magnetic sense, be made aware OF all the
cheeks that had rested on that shoulder, and
oil the forms that arm enclrcled It's fortunate
you don't Know these things. 1t might lead
you, however, to keep yourself more sacred
for some one who williove You as entirely as
You love this man, who takes lie as IL
comes. land by force of habit, IL not by incina
i+ton an,,lI pnt ono woman SIX
months IL his happiness depended on It,
Z Did you. ever see, the OlG-fashioned book on
etiquette called . The Young Ladys Friend :"
Good Mrs, Farras will never guess the benefit |
that straightforward wholesome book OF ad- |
vice has been to girls. She knew the class
she was writing for, anu gave ner OPINION IN
such frank words as these quote from memo |
ry. ''You are to allow no personal freedom |
from gentlemenSof Of your acquaintance, Ii q |
finger Is put out to examine o locket or chain |
on your dress, draw back and take II OH Tor /
inspection If you choose. The reason for this
rule is clear to those who are bester acquainted
with the world.".
The reason Is perfectly clear to every one
who comes to twenty-five years OF age out
side reform institution. A man OF society,
who dealt in occasional roughness OF speech, !
said once In q parlOr before ladies', that he
would never marry q. then New York girl of
fashion, for the class allowed themselves to be
lldQQleQ 100 n Siil VIII llOtSSeo hSiSCh
from the freedoms too much in vogue i'll socie-
ty, increases her own value If she only knew
IL, with those she may have 10 repulse. Idont
believe in prudishnesS or suspicion, but do
believe that when men and women are not
content with friendship that can be expressed
by frank, kind eyes, and cordial, brief hand
shakes, and clear words, one Is not ashamed
the world should hear, they should know what
ntoXication theJ are sharing. 1t strikes one Gu
riousiy to see ladies forgetting their hands in a
mans clasp, Willie they are talking so earnestly;
there is a great deal of expression in the near
ness of two corversationliSts, of which tells q
little more than people are aware OF. It's all
light and innocent, of course, but ifpeople are
properly Indifferent to each others hands, why
lot observe cONce'talCeS, and drop them when
he cordial salute lis performedy You never
zee Rev. Mr. Surplce hold any hand In his but
hat of young Rocket, the curatc, with the
large black eyes, and you never
ee grave legal gentlemen crushing the flounces
i equally grave and interesting spinstcrs. {
here is fine distinct line between the cordial +
ommerce of good will and heaven-warm affec-
ion, that binds the human family together,
nd these leadingS of attraction that with
ameless license destroy the bloom of refine
lent
There is one rule that settles q thousand
ueries OF the nature we are considering. q
Whatever is secret may be safely left untouched.
he touch, the look, the intimacy, the cores
ondence that needs to be secret, has some
hing wrong about it. II you are sure there is
o evil In your motives. for heavens sake
ome ont and ayow your friendship, your de- :
gn, whatever it may be. You make the I