Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-05-21
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! It is a great waste of raw materials, to put
five dollars worth. of beaver on ten cents
worth of brains; aTa7q sh 5as,a-- 49,. 49,
= II have lost myuappetite. rs said a gigant-
is Irish gentleman and an eminent perform
er on the trencher, to Mark Supple. tAfOh,!
[ hope" said Supple, asfi:no poor manhas
found it, for it would ruin him in ii week. De-
sAIap, SAYS, tue anatomists, changes en-
tirely every seven years; therefore says Jones
:s,ny tailor should not ask ile for the bill
contracted III 1860 am not the same per-
ss,,l--llapoc. / owe fliisfl tothr,ge" sgf IN
Jeeues wiring tt his darling dear Matte
rlar shs' agony tbuslyss is'a'arseta'''est
dear. you are So sweet .tlgt honey would
blush in your5p presence, Af'asa ssefgum molass-
es stand pppa|lean' = ma q3s14 sHil9
Friend Jones prepare Yourself to- hear
aaa rifs 4 seaa db dsar, how
you frightened, ne !; Though my honse was
burnt down. 83la9' b i-Sal IA a.
Speaking Of shaving said pretty girl
to an obstinate old bachelor :. Il should think
that a pair of Of handsome eyes would be the
best mirror to shave by."a y0zla ;eaa1'AA
''Yes many poor fellow has been shaved
by Them" the wretch replied.
An old lady who recently visited Oneida q
was asked on her return If die Canal passed
through that village. She paused while
and answered. II guess not didn't see
it; and if it did, it must have gone, through
in the night. when was, asleep" rs 81 -
why Mr.. Jones, are you drunk?'' ex-
claimed Mrs. j., as her, husband came stag
gering into the house late atnights .'N-no
my da-dear," said Jones, ''n-not d-drunk
but only diz-dizzy fr-from looking at the
fel-fellows 60 round on their velossipedes!"
A chaplain in Arkansas says that a man
buying furs was conversing with a woman,
at whose house he called, and asked if there,
were any Presbyterians around there She
hesitated moment, and said she guessed not t
''her husband hadn't killed any since they
lived there .,..s- ...,f..q.1
GOOD SPELLING Caleb, spell Aaron"
'sGreat A, little a. r-o-n-ron. "aeaal.s "a.
Every well, Ichabod, sec if you can spell
United States
eyes sir. Great country. little country,
T.a-x-us." aEll.s5f Ca 81
$50 up head .s4aa 2s= soass r
4 piy~sla inclined person was exhorting
Pat Oh the 1hbjoet Of religion. He indig-
nantly ;siswered: s. sfi@satT' 's s!'e 80
s'Sure, anssaidn't jine the Methodists
Fax and did,"
II jined for six months, and behaved my
self so well they let me OF ID thu ue5 - q
''Well Sambo, is your master a good far
mer?'' ICES sab, he berry good farmer he
makes two crops in one year p "How-is
that, Sambo p "Why, he sell his hay in the
fall and make money once--den in de spring
he sell all de hides Of de cattle that die for.
want Of hay, and dus make money twice
Wasn't ACQUAINTED. why is it, said
one Of our schoolmarms to- A. young scape-
grace who had caused her much trouble by
her bad conduct, S.why is it you behaved 50
well when you first came to school, and are
so disobedient now p Because said
young hopeful, looking up into the teachers
face, II wasn't much acquainted then. . % +
LOST SHEEp.-A, Methodist preacher was
travelling in one of the back settlements and
stopped at a cabin. where the old lady re-
ceived him very kindly. After setting pro-
visions before him, she began to question
him. is& ~,
Stranger, where mought you be from p
MADAM, reside in Shelby county, Ken
lucky" .....
wall, stranger, no offense, but what
mought you be dom up here?7 7a
MADAM, | am searching for the ostsheep
of the tribe of Israeli /, o., t..,.a. SAB e.
John, John p shouted the old lady.
''come right here this minute; here's a
stranger all the way from Shelby county,
Kentucky, hunting stock. and III! Just bet
my Life that the tangle-haired ram, that's
been in our lot all last week, is one of his,n
A minister in the Highlands of Scotland
found one of his parishioners intoxicated.
The next day he called to reproye him for it.
is very wrong to get drunk" said the
parson. .s4ss .. 81.
II ken that but then dinna drink as
mickle as you do" said the guilty person !
s'What, sir! Hows that % u :. ,>.sl
''Why, gin it please We, dinna We ay take
a glass O. whisky and water after dinner %
why, yes, Jenny, surely take little
whisky after dinner merely to aid digestion.
'And dinna ye take glass o. whisky
toddy every night before ye gang to bed p
''Yes, to be sure, I take a little toddy at
night to help me Sleep
"Well," continued the parishioaer, s.that
is just fourteen glasses "a week and about
sixty every month. Ionly get paid once
month, and then if I'd take sixty glasses it
wad make me dead drunk for week. Now !
ye see he.only difference is. yc time it bet
ter than do. go 4t'tk6 -
A sMADIsoS T1r' SADDLES 4 HoRsr
The Madison Tips were an artillery com
pany from Louisiana, commanded bv Capt.
Moody They were generally very hard.
rough set, and Moody was the very man to
manage them, being brave, merciless and
tyrannical. On one occasion lie ordered one
of his men to saddle his horse for him Tn
due season the man led the horse before the
company headquarters.
Heres your horse, sir" said the Tip.
"What the devil does this mean p cried
Moody. = s''''
The saddle was on hind part before!
"Whats the matter p asked the innocent
Tip. - - r.
do you want me to ride with nv face tn
the hOrse's tail 9c shouted tho ;ro+o G.:->7