Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1869-08-20

an address upon some missionary or other be
neyo!ents ubjccts After the address was con
oluded, two brethrenweere 5ssent round for con
tributions. Parson L. was one of tn,
basket bearers, taking tho side upon wbi0a
we sat. Immediately in our front end upon
the next seat, ~negligcntly rea,ined friend Bill
H. a gentleman, ofjnfnite humor and full
of dry jokes. Parson L--- extended the
basket, apdsBill slowly shook his head,
HCome, William, give us something" said
tho parson.
"Can't do it," said Bill.
"Why not2 Is not tho cause a good
onea"
eyes; but I am not able to give any
thing"
"Pooh pooh I know better you must
give q better reason than that
"Wcll, W too much money, I must DO
just before | am generous, you know"
"But, William, you owe God o larger debt
than you owe any one clso."
"That's so, parson, but then no amt push
ing me like tho balance Of my creditors"
The parsons face got in rather q curious
condition as be passed on.
"--s ~---
A STORY FRoM"NED BRAcE."-A friend
says the Columbus SIN, sends US the follow.
ing story from "Ncd Brace" tho famous hu-
morist of "Gcorgia Scenes" We do not re-
member to have heard it before, aud do not
think it has ever been in print:
Mr.. Bacon, of Edgcicld, South Carolina,
the hero of the Georgia Scenes, under the
name of Ned Brace, was once counting a lady
either in Georgia or Carolina. She had re.
fused him frequently, and he as often renew.
cd his suit. At one interview she became ex.
ceedingly annoyed at his importantly and
told him she could not marry him, that their
tastes, opinions, likes aud dislikes were total.
ly different; gin fact" said she, "Mr. Bacon,
l don't think there is one subject on Garth
upon which We agree"
81 assure you, madam, that you arc mis-
taken" said Mr.. Bacon "and l eau provo
it,".
eff you will mention one thing about which
we agree" 81 will marry you"
"Well," said Mr.. Bacon, "I will do it.
Suppose now, you and | were travelling togcth-
or, VIC arrive at night at q hotel, and thcro arc
only two beds vacant, in one there is a man
and in the other a woman, which bed would
you select to sleep in Z"
She arose Indignantly and replied, "With
the woman, of, course, SIR
$50 would l." earnestly replied Mr.. Ba.
con.-Chroniclc & Sentinel.
How TO STop CHEWING ToBAcoo.-In
a recently published pamphlet, the N3y. Mr..
Trask gives the following advise to tobacco
chewers:
l. Make the most of your Will. Drop
tobacco and resolve never to use it again, in
any form.
z. Go to an apothccary, and buy ten oonts
worth of Gcntian root, %coarscly ground.
q. Take as much Of it after each moal, or
%oftencr: as amounts toa common quid Of "Gno-
cut or "cavendish."
4. Chew it well, and swallow all tho
saliva.
5. Continue this a few weeks, and you will
como of conqucror; then thank God and
thank us.
PUT A HOLE TnRoUan IT.-Onc night
Gen. - was out on the line. lie observed
a light on tho mountain opposite. Thinking
it was a signal light Of the enemy, he told his
artillery officer that a hole could easily be put
through it. Whercupon tho officer, turning
to tho corporal in charge of the gun, said:
corporal, do you see that light?"
eyes, sir!"
"Put a hole through it,"
The corporal sighted the gun, and, when
all was ready, he looked up and said:
General, that's tho moon"
"Don't care ad-; put a holo through it,
anyway.
HAInxn .GooD.-We have ofton heard of
remarssbieASssp sabsoncc of mind" Here
is one saySl fo6ayNhing We have soon lately.
The maaigSNaH vas no doubt a yery interesting
heaas9ft the family:
say, cap'n," said a littlc.cycd man, as
nc landed from the steamboat Poytona at
Natchez, 81 say, cap'n, this here amt ALL"
"That's all tho baggage you brought aboard,
sir" replied the captain.
"Well. see now, I grant its all o X &C.