The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-03-16
0treGnteuiQerrter
AnOId nIa1d.s Views.

maid takes a very cheerful and satis-
factory view of her social situation in
the Troy Times. Her views will be OF
interest to many:
It always astonishes me when take
an old maid! Why you'll scarcely be-
lieve it when 1 confess that l once had
lovers by the legion, and offers were as
numerous as f1irtatiOns are nowadays.
1 was always in love. 1 don't remem-
Der the time when l had not some Will
lie or Frank to dream about, and write
love letters to, and as donned my long
dresses, some handsome Charles Au-
gustus was sure TO keep my thoughts
| employed until another with greater
destinations superseded him. You
need not imagine regret them now
No, indeed! My life is pleasant one.
No one annoys me. No husband frts
breaking my heart. No husband calls
me my love" in company an "old
brute" at home! He does not
growl at milliners' bill or extrava-
giant wardrobes. He never sits
looking at me, wishing | were as hand
some as Mrs. b or Miss j.. He
does not wish my eyes were as divinely
blue and my hair as charmingly gOl-
den as Katie's, over the way. He never
casts sly glances ut pretty girls, throw
| ing them kisses when my back is turn
ed. He doesn't marvel how he ever
came to marry me, when there were so
many handsome women in the world.
If am ill, he is not wondering how
weeds would become him, and If he
should be obliged to have an expensive
funeral. He isn't thinking what a jolly
widower he would make, and how eager
pretty Jennie F. would be to marry
him, or how gladly Flora - would
/ InkNi hr0F T1Fl
promise to be his. He does not cOmpla-
Gently fondle his elegant moustache
before the mirror, and think every one
must pity him, and regret (girls especi-
ally) that so handsome man should
be bound to so plain looking u woman.
He isn't watching me continually to
see if fulfill all my duties as wife;
to criticise my. every movement,
to be annoyed at the weakness of
the tea, the toughness of the
steak, or the lateness of the break :
fast. Thank the gods-no! 1 am free
woman. do as please, go where l
please, think, breathe, sneeze, wink,
Hubbard had her dog, Dame Crump
had her pig, but have my cal! An in
tellectual animal, too, one that has
more natural intelligence than many
children. Tabby and enjoy ourselves
in a rational manner. She never speaks
|
we sit and think hours at atime, by the
open CRATE, and draw great morals from
the fire within. Tabby has quiet tenn
permanent and we never quarrel. often
hear people exclaim that old maids are
always gossips. Not so. l don't care
il Mary Jane has stolen another girls
| beau, l never feel interested in the
cost OF Susan's new bonnet or Jennie's
silk dresses. do not wonder that Mrs
c. should be extravagant, or Miss c.
| should nirt so much. What do care?
Fabby and l occasionally remark upon
the folly and stupidity of certain per-
sons. but we do not mention it out of
our own family. My cat is not COM
municative; neither am I.
Yesterday 1 met one of my old lovers.
Once he praised my eyes, my lips, the
beauty of my hair, the freshness of my
manners. He professed to love me, but
he met a prettier girl and gayer
married now, has cross, faded wife
and seven children. He looks old and
weary. 1 felt sorry for him, but /
smiled at my folly i'll even wasting one
thought upon him. Would l give up
my jolly life of an old maid? Never
My hair is growing gray, but ! don't
use 4"Hall's Hair Restorative" My
face has some wrinkles in it, but don't
use "Laird's Bloom OF Youth" My
fingers are not white and soft and
dimpled, but I do not battle them with
"cOld cream" and wear old kids. l
don't tear out my hair with crimpers. /
never wear long trails that sweep the
ground for half mile. 1 do not wear
humps on my back and double up with
the tashiona BILE "Grecian bend" don't
have to wear eye glasses and pretend I
am near sighted. l am not obliged
to wear a butterhy's wing on my head
in February, freezing my ears until
they are purple. l don't have to go
shiVering in low-necked dresses, nor
howl opera music until my throat is
sore, nor study attitudes before my
mirror, nor twist my tongue out en-
deavoring to learn German. nor fall in
love with my dancing master. l am
not under tho painful necessity of
squeezing my hands in No. 6 gloves
when seven is my number, nor do l
pinch my feet in little shoes until exis.
| fence seems burden. l 10 not have
| to sing Italian dittieS in a languishing
manner 10 some sentimental youth in
| tight pants and waved moustache. l
am far more independent in my plain
merinO. with my hair in little knot,
than Miss Flora McFlimsey is in her
silks and sparkling diamonds. can
| look at a gay young man, and he does
not hatter himself that am dying for
! love of him. l can go to church and
listen to the sermon, not caring for the
stylish hats and handsome dresses of
my neighbors. I can enjoy my friends
successes and riches, feeling no envy.
can see lovers kiss their sweethearls
good night without pang.