The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-11-03
NJ "A VIZ o K1s M s.
From Our orOn Correspondent
Very Much Needed.

NEW lOkh, NOV o. lOOo.
Very Much Needed.
For the benefit Of chronic sufferer who figures
under the solitary initial OF NJ and the information
OF relentless individual named Methlick, who has
been publicly appealed to by the former for the last
four months, and who disdans reply, give gratu-
tous notorety TO the following paragraph extracted
from the personals" Of the Herald, to witt
METHLICK--JULY H. 1891 HAVE BEEN
h Az seriously Ill getting better but very weak come i
iSSnp Sou en think Or 70" are more neGaeo
1t is scarcely necessary to say the Personals of the
Herald are what the majority of we-regulated peo-
pie glance over every day upon sitting down to
breakfast where the damp sheet awaits them. A
sort Of personal intercourse thus springs up between
the habitual advertisers under that head and the
habitual readers Of such advertisements. With
these, NJ and Methllck have got to be quite like old
friends, or rather old acquaintances, for while
everybody sympathizes with the patient long suffer-
ing NJ, the character Of Methck for hardhearted-
ness has been long established The number of
specifics that have been sent to the Herald
letter-boX addressed TO NJ would make q
medical recipe book OF several hundred
pages Every aged spnster and Oldest
inhab has raked her and his memory for panaceas
that never fail. You will notice that the patient has
been getting better ever since July 49, but is still"
very weak. What depths OF incapacity he must
have been sunk in previous to that date it is beyond
the flight of imagination to conceive You will also
observe that Methlick is adjured to come imme-
diately, for he is more needed than he can think.
What sternly crystallizng process Methlicks heart
must have experienced in its progress towards CON-
plete lapldescence cannot conjecture; but its in
Tranquility appears to be complete
What Would RusIxin Saye
A gush of beautiful mpracticalities, had the au-
thor of Sesame and Lilies" been present, would
have awaited the destruction of the tree which has
so long stood on the pavement of No 116l Broadway.
1t was planted by of the earliest Dutch settlers
who helped to father this country. The work of re-
Monday ot x
O'Clock, was continued for one hour and was re-
sumed again yesterday. By afternoon, trunk and
branch had alike been borne away A limb was pre-
served to be placed beside that of the Stuyvesant
tree kept in the Office of Commissioner Brennan in
the Central Police Oiice. 1t was butternut tree
very tall, of about ten feet in girth and followed
largely enough near the root to suggest its conversion
into public work-boX. During large part of yes
terday the cars stopped running in consequence of
the razing Of the tree blocking up Broadway, and
several hundreds of people assisted at the obseques
The late General Morris poetic incarnation to that
memorable woodman was not rected and sung; but
the detained passengers and car drivers gave vent to
another species of incarnation that anything but
sweet and soothing. Mr.. Ruskin would say that we
despised natural scenery, and that by cutting down
this fine old tree we had indicated our saCrilegious
presence amid a 'white leprosy of new hotels and
perfumers' shops"
The Fat Mans Ball,
of which so much has been lately said is to take
place on the 2Oth of December, at Irving Hall. At
the last meeting of the club long discussion took
place as to the band which should be employed but
preference was at last given to Grafula's, ON the
ground that fat men preponderated in it. musical
committee, in which fat the qualification sought
after, was appointed, and the new seal of the asso-
citation exhibited. 1t represents an exceedingly
squabby man with a sombreroke chapeau, and
greasy grin which gives his an appearance of an
appe-dumpling with mouth in it. Altogether the
seal is an impressive piece of ingenuity
Sleep for sale.
De Quincy says that when he first purchased
opium, it was like discovering that pleasure could
be bought by the bottle and oblivion by the
rules OF liquid measure. The New York Medical
Society is making known the fact that something
very like this has been done in the discovery OF the
anRsthetic known as clforal-hydrate. When the
proper quantity Is judciously injected, sound, re-
freshing sleep ensues, from which the patient
awakes with The appetite and resilient spirits which
follow the sleep OF health 1t Is said to be superior
to ether, choroform, aud morphine, and may be
taken with water, mucllage, or orange peel. 1t is
due to the experiments OF DR.. Liebright Of Berlin
who first brought 1t to light last july and was intro
duced into this city three weeks ago by Dr. Jacoby
With the exception OF the small quantity brought by
Dr. Jacoby there is none in the United States, SO
that its among sleepless. Americans remains
to be tried.
Now that the legitimate distance by time between
New York and San Francisco has been placed at
six days. it might reasonably be assumed that a
transcontnenta trpwould have lost something Of its
terrors. Not so. 'Shall get showed up ?" is the
first question which the prospective traveller asks
himself before setting foot in the depot How much
dessicated meat and how many gallons OF whisky
shall take with me? is the next question. Old
travellers over that region tell bloodcurdling tales
of the time when stage-coach passengers were
showed up among the Rocky Mountain Businesses
and bevy of highly respectable tourists became
improvised into a colony OF cannibals This is not
pleasant to contemplate, but it is possible, and dur
ing the coming winter we may possibly hear of a
sudden precipitate of anthropophagi somewhere be-
tween here and San Francisco.
The Hanlons.
These handsome and courageous gymnasts are
giving very daring performance at the Tammany
Their 'great act" consists in this-that they trans
form themselves into two trapezes, their limbs and
bodies corresponding to the horizontal bars and
tica ropes OF the ordinary trapeze. The youngest
of them 1.-THE and graceful boy is then flung from
to the other OF these human trapezes, at the i'm
minent risk OF being dashed to pieces But it is
better that his limbs should be broken than that the
Tammany treasury should; infinitely preferable that
an athlete life should be lost than that managers
season should Don't you think 50? ALI BABA.
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