The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-08-06
Personal Habits Of the SIamese Twins,
BY MARK TWAIN.

/ DO not wish to write of the personal
habits of these strange creatures solely,
but also of certain curious details of va
rious kinds concerning them, which, be-
longing only to their private life, have
never crept into print. Knowing the
Twins intimately. feel that I am pecu-
liarly well qualified for the task I have
taken upon myself
The Siamese Twins are naturally tender
and affectionate in disposition, and have
clung to each other with singular fidelity
throughout q long and eventful lite. Even
as children they were inseparable COM
panions; and it was noticed that they al
ways seemed to prefer each others society
to that of any other persons. They nearly
always played together; and, so accus-
toned was thei. mother to this popularity,
that, whenever both of them CHANGED to
be lost, she usually only hunted for one
of them-satisfied that when she found
that one she would find his brother some
where in the immediate neighborhood
And yet these creatures were ignorant
aud barians themselves
and the off. .pring of barbarisns, who knew
not the light of philosophy and science.
What withering rebuke is this to our
boasted civilization, with its quarrelings,
its wranglings, and its separations of
brothers!
As men, the Twins have not always
lived in perfect accord but, still, there
has always been q bond between them
which made them unwilling TO GO away
from each other and dwell apart. They
have even occupied the same house, as
general thing, and it is believed, that they
have never failed to even sleep together
on any night since they were born.
How surely do the habits Of
lifetime become second nature to US ! The
Twins always go to bed at the same time;
but Chang usually gets up an hour before
his brother. By an understanding be-
tween themselves, Chang does all the in
door work and Eng runs all the errands.
This is because Eng likes to go out
Chang's habits are sedentary. However,
Chang ALWAYS goes along. Eng is q
Baptist, but Chang is Roman Catholic
still, to please his brother, Chang consent
ed to be baptized at the same time that
Eng was, on condition that it should not
"count" During the war they were
strong partisans, and both fought gallant
ly all through the great struggle-Eng on
the Union side and Chang on the Con-
federate. They took each other prisoners
at Seven Oaks, but the proofs of capture
were 30 evenly balanced in favor of each
that general army court had to be as
sembled to determine which one was prop
erly the captor and which the captive
The jury was unable to agree for long
time but the vexed question was finally
decided by agreeing to consider them both
prisoners, and then exchanging them At
Hho~ trfo od nf
ence of orders, and sentenced to ten days
in the guard house but Eng, in spite of all
arguments, felt obliged to share his i'm
prisonment, notwithstanding he himself
was entirely innocent; and so. to save the
blameless brother from suffering, they had
to discharge both from custody-the just
reward of faithfulness.
Upon one occasion the brothers fell out
about something, and Chang knocked
Eng down, and then tripped and fell on
him, whereupon both clinched and began
to beat and gouge each other without
mercy. The bystanders interfered and tried
to separate them, but they could not do
| it, and 80 allowed them to fight it out In
the end both were disabled, and were car
ried to the hospital on one and the same
| shutter
Their ancient habit of going always to-
gether had its drawbacks when they
reached mans estate and entered upon the
luxury of counting. Both fell In love with
the same girl. Each tried to steal clandes-
tine interviews with her, but at the critic
al moment the other would always turn up.
By and by Eng saw, with distraction, that
Chang had won the girls affections; and,
from that day forth, he had to bear with
the agony of being witness to all their
dainty billing and cooling. But, with a
magnsnimity that did him infinite cred
it, he succumbed to his fate, and gave
countenapce and encouragement to state
of things that bade fair to sunder his gen.
erous heart.strings He sat from seven
every evening until two in the morning
listening to the fond foolishness of the two
lovers, and to the conclusion of hundreds
of squandered kisses-for the privilege of
sharing only one of which he would have
given his right hand. But he sat patiently,
and waited, and gaped, and yswned, and
stretched, and longed for two O'Clock
to come. And he took long walks
with the lovers on moonlight evenings
sometimes traversing ten miles. notwith-
standing he was usually suffering from
rheumatism. He was an inveterate
smoker but he could not smoke on these
occasions, because the young lady was
painfully sensitive to the smell of tobacco
Eng cordially wanted them married, and
done with it; but although Chang often
asked the momentous question, the young
lady could not gather sufficient courage to
answer it while Eng was by. However
on one occasion after hnving walked some
sixteen miles and sat up till nea ly daylight
Eng dropped asleep from sheer exhaustion
and then the question was asked and an
wered The lovers were married. All &C
quainted with the circumstances applsuded
the noble brother-inlaw. His sunwavering
faithfulness was the theme of every
tongue. He had staid by them all through
their long and arduous courtship; and
when at last they were married, he lifted
his hands above their heads, and said
with impressive JUNCTION, "Bless ye, my
children, will never desert ye" and HI
kept his word Magnanimity like this i
all too rare in this cold world.
By and-bye Eng fell in love with his sis
ter -in-law's lister, and married her, and
since that day they have eli lived together
night and day, i9 an exceeding socisbil'
J ity which u touehlsg and bssutiiul TO be