The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-06-17
Deceit of Song Writers.

The man who wrote g Home, Sweet Home"
never had a home Exchange. sgii ii'''sfsfss
No, Of course not. All his folks at home.
say he didn't. Nobody who writes about any
thing ever has it. If a man is out of any
thing he Immediately goes and writes about.
it. No one writes SO many ssheadings' as the
man who is out Of his head
Certainly he didn't ever have any homes--
The man who wrote "Old Arm Chair" never
had an arm chair in all hislife. The besthe
had was an old Split bottom chair without
any back to it,
The author of take me back to Switzer-,
land" never was in Switzerland The near
est he ever came to it was sitting in the VII
liam Tell saloon eating Switzer. kase-kiss
why, that was the best he could do 5a ii 4sss4
Mother, I've Comefllo to DE- hasn't
spoken to the old woman for years, and
wouldn't go near the house. Besides. he is
one of that class of spirtualists who don't be-
lieye they ever will die. His health was ney-
er better. His mother is aothing but moth
erin-law, and she is dead anyhow Sc! e @ai
| There is the author of s'Old Oaken Buck.
et," too. There wasn't bucket on the whole.
farm, water being drawn with tin pail and
a cistern pole. 7lsal
elf | had but thousand year" stated
privately to his friends that he would be per-
fectly eontented with half that sum, as he was
doing chores just for his board and three
months schooling in the winter. e. fqii
s'Shells Of Ocean, is a humbug The plain
| tive poet who represents himself as wander
ing one summers eve, with suubent thought,
on penslve shore, was raised in the interior
of Pennsylvania, and never was ten miles away
from home in all his life. "Gathered shells"
| did he? All the shells he ever gathered
were some egg shells back of his mothers
kitchen
I The man who wrote tho '"Song of the
Shirt, 4 hadn'ta shirt to his back, wearing a,
wampus for TIE most part. ss5s -sssssb .gg9s,
| coffin the Silly night" used to get on a
spree and make the Silly night howl till day.
| break. ,ssjas-f /, s..s,,,l .,,s,,ss 68A@
i The author of "We met by chance" knew
very well it was all arranged before hand
lie had been weeks in continuing it--and she
admired his contriyaace. NJ sfAtIx
| The author Of Il know a Bank" etc. didn't
know one where he could get his note discount
ted The only check he ever held was a white
check on a faro bank He never had red
check in all his life. IS p Sszsz.ss'sa
"What are the, Wild Waves. Saving %
knew very well they were rcproaching him
for running away from Long Branch without
paying his hotel bill Sf98
"Hear me, Norma" was deaf and dumb
He couldn't make his pa hear, nor ma.
The author of Grain on the Roof" always
slept in the basement, except when he slept
out of DOORS
"Let me kiss him for his mother got mad
because his mother wouldn't have him, and
whipped her little boy within an inch Of his
life s9asf 49, ie.. i43gs..5f
II dreamt dwelt in marble halls" used
to cheat at marbles when a boy, and his dream
was horrid nightmare, brought on by re-
morse at the recollection of fraudulent mar
| 6le hauls
"I'm Saddest when Sing" was tickleda1
most to death if invited to.
Happy be thy Dreams" sold benzine
whisky. You fancy what kind Of "dreams"
were produccd-Fat Contributor.
Most of the shadows that cross our path