Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1869-01-09
ENGAGED PEOPLE.
An Amusing study How IL PecIs-It,
PnIns ana PIensurcn.

>
oth0r of these festive occasion. wherein
society disports itself, it not unfrequently
hapI ems TO young man, after having
been lavish Of his attentions, his admira,
tion, and his heels, for the sole behoof
and benefit of some particular young
woman, whose eyes, or hair, or toilette
may have bit his fancy, to be told by a
disint crested female friend, with the least
possible soupeon of malicious triumph.
that the object Of his devotion is enpa.
ged. All men who have at any tine
mingled in tho diversions of the sakou.
can recall some such experience, and with
it, too, the uumistakable feeling of wasted
opportunity, the ehagrin of loves labor
lost, which the Information brought with
it. Even we, whose silyering hairs have
scarcely softened the fires OF youth. can
| remember the pretty blonde or the fasci-
| mating brunette we danced with vainly
for one entire evening (cheu! .fu0accS)
so long ago; we can remember her name.
the dimple in her lovely check, tho co.
quettish allurement of her side-lonp ewes
and we renew again, after all these years,
the tempest of rage and loathing that
tore our manly heart, and threatened the
serenity of our unruffled shir,-front as
we learned that she was engaged to that
puppy Jones, or that scoundrel Robin
son, as the case may have been. But We
did not then what we propose to do
now; we did not pause to moralize oil
and, if possible, to analyse the curious
conventionalities which this triumph and
dispair predisposcd and indicated.
The fact is, that that peculiar social
relation, which is known as an engage
ment, is among the most amusing studies
to which the philosophic student of So
ciety can apply himself. TO appreciate
it thoroughly, however, he ought him
self to have been engaged once. and not
more than twice. For repeated engage
mcDts will have confused the accuracy
Of his recollection and bluntcd the deli
caey of his perception to an extent that
must materially dim the light which ex-
pericnce would otherwise have shed upon
his inquiry. But to a man who has been
once or twice engaged, who is neither Il
| cynic nor an enthusiast, there is a mover
failing fund of entertainment in watch
ing the antics of is ncighbors strug-
Cling in the net from which some friendly
rCdcnt CT circumstances has released
him. He will observe, i'll the first place,
that for both parties the situation is sin
gularly disagreeable. From both it in
wolves nearly all the privations, without
any of the privileges, of matrimony.
Augustus must leave his club, and aban-
don his cigar-he must exchange these
cosy little dinners -a-troiS platS at the
cafe tor dreary aud ill-cooktd banquets
at his intended fa,her-in-aw he must
put up with no end of chatting from his
bachelor friends, and he must sacrifice
the affectionatc and Platonic regard of
all his female acquaintance. Ofcourrse,
where man is sincerely in love, greater
sacrifices than these sho2ld be gladly
made; but, after all, the sincercst affce-
ton i'll the world will not prevent an ell
gagged man from feeling that his position
is false and irksome in the extreme. Ar
abclla is, no doubt, the best girl in the
world, and loves you very dearly, though
no better than you love her; yet there
are times when Lucinda, for example,
who doesn't care a button for you, and
for whom you care even less, would be q
much more agreeable companion. AT q
dancing party, let us say, where Lucinda
waltzes like a sylph, and Arabella, dear
creature that she is, like-wcll, unlike
Lucinda, and yet your engagement for
bids you to follow the inclination which
would give you good partner instead
of poor one, and delight instead of
torture. So, too, at the opera, where,
despite your affection, you can not help
contrasting the cold Indifference of Ava
bella, who, with all her amiability and
goodness, has very little taste for music,
with Lucinda's charming enthusiasm and
appreeiative ccstacies. Then again at
The picture gallery, You remember how
Lucinda fairly vibrated with artistic
pleasure over chef Tteurre which the
darling of your soul passed with most
provoking nonchalanee. Now, profound
asi is your attachment to your betrothed,
and firmly as you are convinced that she
of all the women is the one destined to
make you happy, you can not deny to
yourself that on all these occasions LII
cinda's company would be vastly more
agreeable. After you are married you
can enjoy this pleasure which is now
denied you I; you can dance ard flrt with
Lucinda then to your hearts content /;
you can invite ter to join your wife in
little parties to the theater, or the opera,
or the concert; you can go SO far as to
kiss her and every other pretty girl that
will let you, and nobody minds it bit.
1t is your way; you always were wild,
and this is but the innocent freedom of
al old Benedict. But just try one OF
these innocent freedoms while you are
engaged, and pout! you have Arabela
and all her female acquaintance, old and
young, buzzing about your ears like q
swarm of enraged hornets. ..
1t is this sense of confinement and re-
straint that makes the period of betrothal
SO irksome for even the most ardent
lover And for the lady it is even worse.
From the fatal moment of the official
announcement there is amend of all those
sweet observances wherewilh she was
wont to be compassed. No longer the
daily postman comes TO her treighted
with store of dainty missiyes, gilt
edged and perfumed invitations to balls,
opera o. plav. the newest waltz. the
latest novel. no IouUer hpr boudoir is