The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-03-31
81
a Wedding Night Shirt.

It. wasn't hardly the fair thing that the
boys did to Joe Thompson the night he.
was to be married.. but the temptation was
irresistible. They couldn't baye helped it
to save their lives. I'll tell you how it
was:
Joe was about tie most fancy-dressed
buck in the town-over nice and particu-
lara regular Miss Nancy in manners,
always putting on airs, and more dainty
and modest than girl. Well, when his
wedding night came he was dressed to KILL.
and his pants especially fitted him as if
they had been molds and his legs candles,
and run into them. Tight was no name
for them. Their set was immense, and he
was prouder than half a dozen peacccks.
"Aren't. they nice boys?" he asked Of the
two who were to be gentlemen and gee that
he threy himself away in the most approx
Stunning Gorgeous 81" replied Tom.
Bennett. Never saw anything equal to
them. But l say, Joe, aren't they just the,
least bit tight? It strikes me that you'll
have some difficulty in bending, won't you?
"Pshaw, no! They are as easy as an old
glove. See!" ,s...- -,
To prove the matter, he bent down so as
to touch his patent-leathers, when crack!
crack! followed like the twin reports Of "a
revolver.
Thunder ~ exclaimed Joe as he clspped
his hand behind and found rent in the.
cashmere from stem to stern. Thunder l.
the pants have burst, and what shall dol
81 should rather think they had, an
swered Tom, getting purple in the face, as
he endeavored to control his laughter
"But there is no time to get another palr.
1t only wants half an hour to the standing
up time, and we have got mile TO 60.
Carriage waiting too" 49,.
"What shall I do?-what shall do?" !,
an tel you what, Joe, ifmine would
6t you, you should have them and welcome
but they are about mile too big--would
sit like shirt on bean-pole. see 70
way but to have them mended." -
"Who can I get. to do it, Tom?". +,
"Well, 1 am something Of q tailor, and,
can fix them SO they won't show. Hold on
q minute and I'll get q needle and thread"
Can you? May heaven bless your
"Off with your coat" commanded Tom,
as he came back. :
"Now, lay yourself over on the bed and
I will fix you in short order.".
The command was obeyed; the pants /,
mended; the coat-tails carefully turned
over so as to conceal the "distressfor rent"
and all went merry as mariago-bell until
Joe followed his blushing bride to the nup-
tial couch, .t..' -.
There was only dim light in the room.
but it enabled Joe, as he glanced bashfully,
around, to see the sweetest face in the
world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips, the
lovely and loving blues eyes, and the gol-.
den curls just peepiug out from the snowy
sheets, and he extinguished the light and
FASTENED to disrobe himself OF came his
coat, vest, fancy necksie and collar, boots,
and socks in hurry, but somehow, the.
pants stuck. The more he tried the more,
they wouldn't come, and be tugged vainly
for half an hour. &c.,,
Thunder exclaimed Joe. -. -.
I "What is the matter, dear?n came in the
softest of accents from. the bed. where
something was wondering if he was ever
going to come to her arms, 49,.
1t was q moment Of desparation; Joe was
entirely overcome by the situation, and
forgetting his accustomed bashfulness
blurtei ont:
"Molly, that cursed Tom Bennett. has
sewed my pants, drawers, shirt and under
shirt, all together.
ut is too bad, Wait moment, DEAR"
A little. stockingless foot peeped out at
first, then p ruflled .nightdress, the lamp
was lighted, 2 pair Of scissors found, Joe
released, and although he denies it, Tom
Bennett sweors that bis wedding shirt was
of the shortest possible length, reasoning
a posteriori.