The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-02-19

" Ii industry is no more than hab-
IL Is at least an excellent one.
Brownlow says that, like Paul,
he has "fought with wild beasts at
Ephesus." Ii he has he fought with
his betters.-LouiSuiAe Journal
= A citizen of Cleveland, Ohio, is
in great joy because his wife left him a
few days since. She took all the NOM
ey saved during six years of joint la
Dor, but he says it is cheap radiance.
- A tradesman in Ohio CITY ap-
ponds to his advertisement, administers
OF the Gospel supplied with goods at
cost, Il they agree to mention the fact
TO their congregation.
= Apropos to the heated term
gentleman remarked "Last Satur-
day my mother-in-law came on a visit
In short time it became so hot was
obliged to leave home"
=. You talk of the selfishness of
bachelors why--there is not mar
RED couple in existence who would not
skin their friends to make shoes for
their children.
" To-behold at wedding the sor-
row stricken air OF a parent as he gives
the bride away, when you know for
the last ten years he has been trying
TO get her off his hands.
- Speaking OF the failure of the OIL
i've crop in Italy, Western paper re-
marks that the news is of little inter-
est on this side of the Atlantic, as most
OF the olive oil used in this country
comes from Western hogs.
- Josh Billings says most people
define merely by their own experience
and guess they are more than half
right, for don't suppose man could
get correct idea of molassas candy
merely by letting another fellow taste
It for him.
The following is from local pa
per "Persons wishing to see the edi-
tors will generally see them at the
printing office. In their absence. how
ever, invitations to dine, and challenges
to tight. should either be left with the
publisher or in our table drawer"
A lady having the misfortune to
have her husband hang himself on an
apple tree, the wife of a neighbor i'm
tree, to have it grated into one in her
orchard, ''for who knows, says she
"but what it might bear the same kind
of fruit"
- The Paris wits spare nobody,
see how they treat our friends the doc
tors:
At the hospital Of, the doctor
arrived grave and thoughtful.
allow many dead have you?" said
he to the keeper.
tNine, sir.'
"Devii didn't give ten prescrip-
tions yesterday"
ayes, sir but one of the patients re-
fused to take any,"
- Monday-A thick fog no seeing
through it. Tuesday-Gloomy and We
ry chilly unreasonable weather. We'd
nesday-Frosty at times sharp. Thurs
day-Bitter cold in the morning, red
sunset, with flying clouds, portending
hard weather. Friday-Storm in the
morning, with peals of thunder, clear
afterwards. Saturday-Gleams OF
sunshine with partial thaw, frost
sgain at light. Sunday-A slight
pleasant at diHner time hurricane and
earthquake az ght.-Husband's Diary.
An elderly gentleman accustom-
ed to indulge, entered the room of a
certain tavern, where sat a grave
Friend by the fire. Lifting a pair of
green spectacles upon his forhead, rub
bling his inflamed eyes and calling for
hot brandy and water, he complained
to the friend that his eyes were getting
weaker, and that even spectacles didn't
seem to do them any good" an tell
thee friend" replied the Quaker, s'what
I think. If thee was to wear thy spec
tacies over thy mouth for few months
thy eyes would get well again."
- few nights since as son of
the emerald Isle was riding from oalem
to Beverly, Mass, on horse car, the
conductor called for his ticket, but the
passenger couldn't tindIt "What will
l do ?" says Pat. Pay me seven cents
says the conductor. "Murther an
GUNS, but didn't gi, but six for the
ticket" 'sCan't help that replied the
conductor, tour fare is seven cents or
q ticket" which sum Pat unwillingly
passed over, soon after he called the
conductor, with joy beaming on his
countenance, and said, II have found
the divil, now give me back my clint and
take the ticket" which was done much
to the amusement of the passengers
poor Pat not thinking he WIS paying
rlouhle fare