Democratic enquirer. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1867-1873, 1869-10-13

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"God bless your honor, you once
saved my life" said q beggar to a
captain undor whom he had served.
"Saved your life! !" replied the of.
flcor "doyou think l am q dOctor?"
"No," answered the man. "but !
served under you at the battle Of
Corunna, and when you run away
followed" rGla
z Thopenalty for walking on arail.
road trsckin England is ten pounds,
said one, while discussing the nu
merous fatal accidents on q arNirosd
'"Pooh! !" replied Uncle Jerry, "is
thatall? the penalty in this coun-
try is DEATH E
An Indiana husband adyertises
for his runaway wife, saying that
she "has left him just as the sum-
mers work is beginning, notwith-
standing he has had the expenses
ofwintering her"
"Dear son, come home--a rolling
stone gathers no moss. Your af.
fectionate mother" "Dear mother,
I won't come home--a setting hen
nover gets fat, Your afectionate
sjn."
Mr.. Kenny, the popular drama
tist in drinking glass Of wine, in
advertcntly swallowed small sub
stance which nearly cholicd him.
A friend, seeing his distress, and
anxious to proclaim to his compsn-
ions the sad state of the case, ex-
claimed, sit is cork gone down the
wrong way" 81 don't know wheth-
er it is the way to Cork, said wag
who was present, Gbut it seems a
very likely way to Kill Kenny"
An old author quietly remarks,
"Avoid argument with ladies. In
spinning yarns among silks and
Satins, q man is sure to be wOrsted
and twisted. And when q man is
worsted and twisted he may con-
slider himself wound up"
Some one observed, the other day,
that "matches were made in heav-
en- "Ycs" answered wag, "and
they are often dipped in the other
place"
A man called another an extor-
tioncr, for suing him, why, my
friend replied the man who
brought the suit, 4 did it to Oblge
you TO oblige me, indeed-how
so? why, to oblige you to pay
me-
Poor Mr.. Smith has fallen down
dead ofapopIexy,' said gentleman
on the hustings. Has he votedP'
asked one Of the candidates.
A lady asked Mr.. Jekyll what
was the difference between solicit
tor and an attorney Precisely the
same he answered, 'as between q
crocodile and an alligator
Visitors to Atlantic City mako
fiadIing crabs tipsy, and then amuse
thomselv es by watchingtheir antics.
A piece Of bread soaked in whiskey !
and water attracts them in myriads
from their burrows
A yard-stick is very useful in
store, stick on the stage is Of no
good use whatever; a stick in
tGmbler is sometimes in danger of |
making tho sidewalk uneven to pc
destrians a stick Of a husband or |
wife is apt to bo much longer than
is desired aud a stickful of matter
is the commonest thing that is read |
in newspapers,
A person pointed out man who |
had a profusion Of rings on his fin,
gers, to a cooper. All, master, said |
the artisan, 1T is a sure sign ofI
weakness when 50 many whoopS are
used. a.ltJt =
A Joker lately declared that a
blind man by taking something
from the breakfast table, recovered
his sight, What did he take2 lie
too a tep-cnp and saucer, (saw sir)
A little girl happening tohOarher
mother speak Of going into half
mourning, said Why arc you go
ing into half-mourning, mamma
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