The Portland daily press., 1869-05-31
Miscellany.
Josh Billing. Papers.


The cote IL koarse wooden sheep.
They have a split hoof and whole tail.
They have good appetite and sangLine
digestion.
They swalIo what they eat and viii eat eny-
thing they kan bite.
Their moral karakters are not polished; !;
they had rather steal a rotten turnp out ov a
garbage box than few cum honestly bi peck
oy oats.
The mail cote haz tew horns on the ridge
ov his he'd, and mustash on his potion lip
end IL the plug ugly ov hiz naberho0d.
A maskuline cote will fite enDything from
an ELEPHANT down to his shadder on a ded
wall.
They strike from their but end, insted- oV
the shoulder, and are az likely to hit az
hammer IL nailhed.
They are hi seasoned animal, az much SO
az pound ov assifdity.
They are faithful critters, and will silk tew
friend az long az he lives in a shanty.
They can Kline ennything but creased
pole, and kno the way up rock as natural az
a woodbine.
They are az certain tew raze az yung ones,
sum families are hail gotes and the other haff
children. They are good eating when they
are yung, but they leave it oph az they git
stronger
They are alwus poor in the boldly, but
phatt in the stumick, what they eat seems to
all go to appetight, Ya mite az well agree
tew phat up an injun-lubber over-shoe bi
fillin it with klam she's, az teW raise emmy ad-
ipose membrane ON the outside bust oy a
cote.
A phatt cote would be literary curiosity.
They use the same dilakit az the sheep,
and the yung ones speak the language more
fluently than the parents do. s
There IL only tew animals ov the earth that
will eat tobakko-one liz a man and tuther il
a cote, but the cote understands it the most
for he swallers the spit, chaw and all.
The male cote, when he IL pensive, IL a
venerable and philosophic Looking old kuss,
aud would MT make bad professor Nv arith-
metick in some ov our colleges.
They are handy at living long time, reach
ing an advanced age without arriving at en-
ny definite conclusion.
How long cote lives without giving it up,
there IL no man old enough tew tell.
Methuzeler, if biz memory was bad at for
getting, mite give good-sized guess, bnt un-
fortunately for science and this essa, Methu-
Zeler amt here.
Gotes win live in emmy klimate, and on
emmy vittles, except tanbark, and if they ever
cum to sqnare deth, it il a profound sekret.
in the hands of few to this day.
wouldn't like to beleave emmy man under
oath who had ever seen maskuline cote ac-
ktually die, and stay so.
Speakin ov Methuzaler, puts me i'm mind
ov the fackt, if a man should liy now daze az
mutch az he did, and only hav one eve tew
see things with, he would hav to hav an ad-
dishun built onto the back ov hiz he'd tew sto
oway things into.
The female cote is either the mother, OF
sister, or cuzzin ov the mail cote ackording to
the prevailing circumstances in the kase, or
else labor under deluzion, and forgit
witch.
They Civ milk intuitively about a quart, be-
foar it iz watered, in twelve hours, witch is
the subjeck ov punishment in many and va
rius waze.
This milk, witch is extrakted from the fe-
mail cote, is exsellent to finish up yung on es
on, but is apt to make them bellycose and
fghtfuL
1t iz not onkommon for a baib, while in
haiing this pugnatious fooid, to let orf his
left kolleckshun or digit and ketcll the
nurse on the pinnakle ov the smeler, and tap
it for claret.
This IL kommon fakt among Irish babes,
and explainst the reazon viii, in arfter
life, these very saim babes makes such bril-
yant hits.
In writin the histry of the mail and female
cote to adorn the pages of futer times, fiat
ter miself that hev stuk to the trooth, and
have not allowed my immaginashun to boss
the job.
A CRATE menny ov our best biIt historians
are apt to mistake opinyuns for fackts, this
is ap easy mis-. axe fu make, but when strik
agoose, or bed bugg, or cote, yu motifs one
thing, stay with them.-Finis.-Nea York
Weekly.