The Republican journal., 1869-08-19

gun to prick them. They either know moth
ing about the rum, or have forgotten your
fondness for it. You are to receive the reward
OF your yalor.'
The face of Herr Hundsfott Saudistel grew
bright and glad.
But you must tell them nothing about the
rum, Herr Amtmann,' cried the swineherd,
with sudden alarm.
The Amtmann promisedto be silent Forth
with he made his report about the discovery
of the hero, abstaining from all allusion to
the rum
In short the Waterloo gold medal and q
large sum of money was presented to the
military guardian of the swine
Doubtless as was natural, Herr Saudistel,
aided by good rum, often recalled with glee
and gratitude the famous battle in which,
with no small benefit to himself he had so
conspicuously figured.
HOW SMITH ASKED THE OLD MAN.
Smith had asked Mr.. Thompson's daughter
if she would give him a lift out Of bachelor
dom, and she said Yes"
1t therefore became absolutely necessary to
get the old gentleman's permission, so, as
Smith said, the arrangements might be made
to hop the conjugal tWig.
Smith said he'd rather pop the interrogatory
w ttll VI olll ttHtt HIS
sisters, and his lady cousins, and his aunt
female relations, than ask old Thompson
But it had to be done, and so he sat down and
studied out a speech which he was to dsgorge
at the old Thompson the very first time he got
shy at him. SO Smith dropped in on him
one Sunday evening, when the family had
meandered around to meeting, and found him
doing 4 sum in beer measure
''Ilow are YOU, Smith ?" said old Thompson
as the former walked in, white as 4 piece of
chalk, and trembling rs if he had swallowed
a condensed earthquake. Smith was afraid
to answer, cause he want sure about that
speech. He knew he had to keep his grip on
it while he had it there, or it would slip from
him quicker than an oiled eel through an
auger hole. SO he blurted out
'Mr. Thompson, sir: Perhaps it may not
be unknown to you, that during an extended
period of some five years, have been busily
engaged in the prosecution of 4 commercial
enterprises
Is that so, and keepin' it a secret all this
time, while thought you were tendin store?
Well, by George, vou're one of them now.
amt you?'
Smith had began to think il all over again,
to get the run Of it.
''Mr. Thompson, sir Prehaps it may not
be unknown to you, that during the extended
period of five years, have been busily engag-
ed i'll the prosecution of a commercial enter
prise, with the determination to secure a
sufficient maintenance-''
s.Sit down, Smith, and help yourself to beer.
Don't be standing there holdin' your hat like a
blind beggar, with paralysis. | never have
seen you behave yourself so queer in all my
born days"
Smith had been knocked out again. and 50
he had to wander back again and take a fresh
start.
''Mr. Thompson, sin: 1t maynot be,mknown
to YOU, that during an extended period of five
years, l have been engaged in the prosecu
ton of Il commercial enterprise, with the de-
termination to procure q sufficient mante-
nance
"A which ance:?" asked old Thompson; but
Smith held on to the last word as if it was his
only chance, and went on:
I'm the hope that some day might enter
wedlock, and bestow my earthly possessions
upon one whom | could call my own. have
been a lonely man, sir, and have felt that it
is not good for man to be alone; therefore |
would"
''Neither is it, Smith; I'm glad you drop
ped in. How's the old man?" Mr.. Thomp-
son, sir,' said Smith, in desparing contll-
sion raising his voice to a yell, sit may not
be unknown to you that, during an extended
period of a lonely man, have been engaged
to enter wedlock and bestowed all my enter
prise on one whom l could determine to be
good for certain possessions-no, | mean
that is-that-Mr. Thompson, sir; it may not
be unknown-n
"And then, again, it may. Look here,
Smith; you'd better lazy down and take some
thing Warm-you amt we'll"
Smith, swearing like four year old colt,
went in again.
"Mr. Thompson, sir: 1t may not be lonely
to you to prosecute me whom you a friend,
for commercial maintenance, but-but-eh
dang it-Mr. Thompson, sir: It"
''Oh, Smith, you talk like a fool. | never
seen tirst-class idiot in the course Of my whole
life. What's the matter with you, anyhow ?"
"Nlr. Thompson, sir," said Smith, in an
agony ofbewiderment, s'it may not be known
that you prosecuted a lonely man who is not
good for a commercial period of wedlock for
some five years, but"
''See here, Mr.. Smith, you're drunk, and
if you can't behave better than that, you'd
better leave; if you don't, I'll chuck you out,
or Pm Dutchman."
'Mr. Thompson, sir,' said Smith frantic
with despair, cit may not be unknown to you
that my earthly possessions are engaged to
enter wedlock five years with a sufficiently
lonely man, who is not good for CONNER
cial maintenance"
1.-The very deuce he isn't. Now you jist Git
up and git or I'll knock what little brains out
ofyou you've got left"
With that, old Thompson took Smith and
shot him into the street AS if he'd run him
against locomotive, going out at the rate of
forty miles an hour. Before old Thompson
had time to shut the front door, Smith collect
ed his legs and one thing and another that
were lying around onthe pavement, arranged
himself in q vertical position, and yelled ont
'NIr Thompson, sir: 1t may not be known
to your-which made the old man so wretch
ed mad that he went out and set a bull terrier
on Smith before he had a chance to lift Il bro
gan, and there was scientific dog fight, with
odds in favor of the dog, for he had an awful
hold for such a small animal.
Smith afterwards married the girl, and
lived happily about two months. At the end
of that time he told a confidential friend that
he would willingly take more trouble and un-
dergo q million more dog bites to get rid of
her.
A California woman, having very slight
acquaintance with paper money, was shown
a twenty-five cent note of our postal currency
She turned it over with keen curiosity. "It
caaOc vprV Stran rn tO mo thot cboull bc