Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-08-12

w
man who rules the rising generation OF boys
in a certain town in Tennessee, had occasion
to correct little boy named Johnny. Now
Johnny had what is called "sulks, because
he was whipped, and in order to convince
him that he was Justly and necessarily pun
ished, his teacher had recourse to the follow
ing argument:
"Well, Johnny, suppose you were riding a
big horse to water, and had a keen switch in
your hand, and all at once the horse were to
stop and refuse to 90 any further, what would
you do:'
Johnny stifed his sobs for IN instant, and
looking up through his tears. inocently re-
piled: "I'd cluck to him, sir.
but, Johnny, suppose he wouldn't 60 tor
Your clucking, what then ?
"Td get down and lead him, sir.
:And what if he were OBSTINATE and would
not let you lead him."
why, I'd take off his bride and turn him
loose, and walk home, sir.
"You may 90 and take your seat Johnny.
Johnny could not be made to see the neces-
Sity for using the switch.
PUT 4 HOLE THROUGH 1T.-Onc night
Gen. -- was out on the line. He observed
Il light on the mountain opposite. Thinking
it was a signal light of the enemey, he told
his artillery officer that hole could easily be
put throug III it. Whereupon the officer, turn
ing to the corporal in charge Of the gun, said
"Corporal, do YOU see that light?
Yes, sir
Put hole through it,
The corporal sighted the gun, and, when
all was ready, he looked up and said
General that's the moon.'
Don't care Il l.; put hole through it,
anyway"
By \ couple ran off to get married, and
came back to the brides house, where she
humbly sued for the forgiveness of her father,
kncelns at his feet, all tears. "Forgive, for
give me- dearestw sobbed the lovely suppli-
ant. "Forgive you.' exclaimed the old gen.
tleman; "why, | am too glad to get rid of you.
Your ill-tem per and idlenesS have been the
plague of my life, and make your marriage
no loss to me, my dear child. $50 take her, y
added the old gentleman, generously, address
ing the happy man "and may you be hap
py!"
~
parlor games, which ought to become quite
popular is termed "rhe Printers's Delight
and is performed in the following manner:
"Takc sheet of note paper, fold it care
fully, and enclose Il bank note sufficiently large
to pay up arrearages, and year in advance.
What adds immensely to the feat is to send
along the name of a new subscriber, with cash
to balance Keep your eye on the printer,
andifyou detect a smile the trick is a success. y
la An. Irishwoman who had kept little
grocery shop was brought to her death-bcd,
and was on the point of breathing her last,
when she called her husband to her bedside.
Jamie" she family said "thcrc'S Missus
Mulony->he owes me six shillings." "Och!'
exclaimed her husband: "Biddv, darlint,
we're sinsible to the last !" "Ies, dear; an
there's Misssus MCraw-I owe her half Il
sovereign" "Och! be jabers, and ye're as
As foolish as everv'
One OF THE BoYs.-"Where were you,
Charlie?' 'In the garden, ma" 'No-you
have been swimming-you know ! cautioned
YOU about going to the creek. | will have to
correct YOU. Look at your hair, how wet it is. y
"Oh, no, ma, this is not water; it is sweat" "
"Ah, Charlie, have caught YOU fbbing; your
shirt is wrong side out" Boy, triumphantly
-"OhsI did that just now, ma, climbing the
.J'nce."
ssy" General Zaramba bad a very long Pol
ish name. The King, having heard Of it,
asked him good humoredly, pray, Zaramba
what is your name?" The General immedl-
ately repeated the whole of his long name
"Whv," said the King, "the devil himself
never had such a long name" 81 should
presume not, sire said the General, "as he
was no relation of mine"
Asss" "Did you know, said cunning Yam
kec to a Jew, "that they hang Jews and jack,
asses together in Portland?" Indeed! then
= !. roll thnt ,.nn and I are not there ret0rt.