The Van Buren press., 1869-11-02
NO20
Professor Josh Billings on ii. zsss,s.

lar member Of the bug family. the Hos-
net: q
TnE TIosxrr.-Ths hornet IL an In
Hamibcl bugger, sudden in biz zimprcshuns
and hasty In biz conclusion, Or end.
Hiz natral disposishsn IL wars cross
between red pepper IN the pod aud fusil
oil, and kiz moral bias IL, = git out oy mt
way"
They have long, black boldly. divid-
ed in the middle BY : waist spot, but theif
phisikal importance lays at the tsrnsiuuss
Of their subburb, In the shape ov . tsss.
lin. U.s.. 81
This javelin ia alwuz loaded and stsuds
rcddy to unload 1t ininuits warning,
and enters man ~ still ax thought -
spry az htening. and a. full ov mslaak0i-
ly a. the toothake.
Hornets never argy case; they settle
awl ov their differences ov opinyon by
letting their javclin iy, aud are e certain
to hit AZ mule H. sssi ef KS.
This testy krittsr lives in songrsgu-s
tions numbering about 100 souls, bus
whether they are mail or female, or con.
servative, or matched IN bonds OF wed.
lock. or whether they are Mormons, and
u good many ov them king together snd
keep one hnzband to save expense, I
don't kno nor don't kars. q 81 &
I never have examined their hsbits
much, never konsidcred II healthy.
Hornets build theirn nests whiretsr tbsy
take noshun I'd. and seldom ass dissusbss
ed, for what would Is psont : man teut
kill 30 hornets and hav the l00th one hit,
him with hix javclin?
They bid their nests ov paper, without
emmy windows to them OF back 'd~0tA
They hsv but one piscs ~ adntssloa,
aud IL the shape oy ar oyergrowu pspss
apple. and iz cut up into just - many
bedrooms ax there u bornets
Itiz very simple 10 make ashornets
nest II yu Kan, but will wager emmy man
800 dollars he kant bid one that he could
sell to hornet for half price. n.
| Hornets arc sx blzzy az their second
couzins. the bee, but what they are about
the Lord only knows; they don't isy up
emmy honey, nor any money; they sse1n
to bs bixty only jist Tor the seks oyi
working oil the time; they are alwus in;
az mutch ov hurry nx tho they was 60.
Ing for doktcr. M
I suppose this unsasy world would
grind around on its sxie.trss onst 10 -
hours, even cf there wsut emmy. hornets
but hornets must be good Tor sunthing.
but think now what II Il,
Thars halnt been & bug made ~ to
vain, nor one that want : COED job ;tAsse
| is .exor lots ovhuman aca lsaA6g asousd
blacksmith shops and elder mills, ~ oyef
the country, that don't seem to hs necos. /,
co antd IwrGf,s INA btvkf "A Whses plilses a0Fbos
yu let the cholers break out Qncs, and
then yu wilLses the wisdom of having
jist sich men laying around; they help.
count. * s..s... =, \.
Next to the cockroach, who stands tsw
the head. the hornet haz got the most
waste stummuk, in reference tew the rest
of hiz boldly. than any ofths ipsek Popu.l
lashun, and here IL another myptsry; ];
what on arth does the hornet want 80
much reserved corps fnrf
Ihav jist thought--tcw curry hls javs-
lin In thus yu sec. the more We disksvss
about things the more we are apt to knes,
The hornet ia IN unsoshall kuss, be y
more naughty than he u proud, be hA
thorough bred bug, but HE breeding and
refinement has male him like solne other
folks 1 kno ov, dissatisfied With 'himsslf
aud every boldly else; too much good
breeding ackts this way soWstlmes. ~
Hornets are long lived--l kant state
list how long their lives are, but ] know
from instinkt and Obssrvashuu that euny
krktur. be he. bug 0r 10 10 devil, wb0'i1
mad all the time, and stings every good
chance he kan sit, generally outlisss ~
his nabers.
Tho only good way to get at the exact
fiteing weight OF the hornst u tev tuach
him, let him hit you once with his jsveiin.
and you will be willing to testify N court
THAT somebody run onc-tined pitchfork
into yer and as for grit will state for
the informashun OF those who haven't
had u chance tsw lay In their var'nin VIA
dom M freely Al hav, that one single
hornet, who feels well. will brake ny =
large amp.mecting.
What the hornets 40 for aususesncnt b
another question ! kant answer, but sun
ev tho best road anh heaviest thtnkers
among tho uaturslists say they have tars
get excursions, and heave THAR iaveline
At mark; but don't imbibe this asser.
shun raw, for never knu ensy body %
bitter at heart 40 the hornets arr, toe
waste . blow. W.lassss IL nsla gn.
Thare il one thing that hornet dus
that Twill give him credit Tor on my
bcoks-he alwuz attends TO his own biz
ziucss, and wont allow any bodily elss
tew attend to Il, and what he dns to slwna
a good Job; yoa never see them altering
enny thing il they make emmy mlstakes.
lii IL after dark, and aint seen.
II the hornets made iIslf NJ rneiihy
blanders az the men do. even With thsis
javclins, evcryboddy would latr nt them.
Hornets are olear in another way. they
hay found out, bi tricing it. that all they
can Git in thi world, and brag on. ID thsir
vittles and clothes, and yu never .es one
standiug on the corner ov . street with ?
twcnty-six inch facc on, bckauss sum
bank had run oph and took their money
, wi h hin. sssb lal
In ending opl This essa, J will cum tow
a stop by concluding. that if hornets va.
little more pcnsive, and not 80 darned
peremptory with their iavclins, they
II might be guilty ofl,ss wislun, but moN
, Charity. ait s'8 "
"A 4 =