The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-12-11
WIT AND WrEDOW

I THE Right Man in the Right PlAce.-A
husband q home in the evening.
WHEN q California orator addresses an
audience Of Chinese, be has only to change
one letter 10 the usual 'stereOtyped mode,
thus: my yellow citizens! y, tr
IT 10 just aa veil that fortune ia born
blind for, if she could only see some Of the
worthless persons on whom she showers her
most valuable gifts, she would Immediately
scratch her eyes.
II is said Of q very handsome woman
whose feet are immense: ''She's very pret-
~, but she upsets completely the ordinary
system Of measurement by proving that two
feet pAke yard"
KEEP list Of your friends, and let God
be the 6rst in your list however long Il may
be-
IA Man should tiuk littlv of the evil that
is said Of him, unless be thinks much Of
him who says il.
"WHY, Sarah, you look good enough to
eat, said loving husband 70 his wife one
morning At breakfast. -'Wen, I'm eating
a. ihst 40 1'can, amt If' was the ready
reply gs ,eYf, saF ss. si r,e
Tons, / hear you are broke n "Yes,"
said Tom. with sigh. "and 10 Eroke that
il steamboats, were selling at 0 cent piece,
! couldn't buy plank II
Eve was the only woman who never
threatened % 90 and live wiSh her mamma
and Adam was tbe only man WhO never tan
taliasd bis wife about i'tbe way mother used
to cook"
w ''MH boy" said distinguished merchant
to bis son, who was meditating mAtrimOny,
'sbe sure IN your selection, 10 get hold Of
piece Of goods that will wash" ra
X RRsuLr or K1ssEo rae .BUTcHn.-
.sMy dear, +" said nm affectonate wiSs, what
shall we have for dinner today r.
Zone Of your smiles" replied the husband
81 can dine on that every day"
"But / can't replied the wife.
"Then take this kiss, (" and he went to his
business. .h Hu .rl
Hs returned to dinner, .....--
This is an excellent stake" said be,
what did you pay for II r.
"Why, what you gave me this morning
to be sure, " replied the wife.
The deuce you did !" exclaimed be
then you shall have money next time you
70 to market"
SoxE one relates the story Of q man who
was too lazy to say his prayers. He wrote
out his devotions on fool0cap, however, and
tied them to the foot Of bis couch. Before
retiring be would bold them up to heaven
and sxclaim, "Them's my sentiments" and
jump into bed.
JUDaR T, Sunday school teach
q, was asked an unauswerable question hy an
irreverent boy. You have heard bout
the 70 lden calf in the bible haven't 70 ?"
said Jimmy,
YES" said the Judge, pattOniEi ngly.
'"Will yer tell me-" said Jimmy very
modsstly, "whether it was a bull or heifer
calf p
This was too perplexing, q nd tie Judge
walked OF with smile on bis be 5 evolent
phiE. "
PuNcH announces ''Tbe Gent She Tilted" I"
BY the author of The Girl He Married !"
Strings Of Barley Sugar." sequel to
Ropes Of Sand !" "Downy as a DOGGY
Duck, conclusion Of "Simple as Dove"
and Boiled Blackbeetlos," ~ the author
Of Burned Butterflies" ..t-f
A GIRL was forced into disagreeable
match with m old man whom she detested
When the clergyman came to that portion
Of the service where the bride il asked il
she consents to take the bridegroom for her
husband, ShS said. with great simplicity
''Ob, dear. no cir But you are the FIRST
person who has asked my opinion about the
matter -