The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1869-05-20
S0Ilum Thoughts.
By JOSH BILLINGS.

] The fear of God is the philosophy o,
: religion; the love ov God is the charit,
ov religion
Hope iSa men that lays more eggs thar
sac can hatch out
Better leave your children virtew thar
money but this a sekret known only teV
| q few.
| honestly beleave it is better tew know
nothing than tew know what amt so.
About the hardest work pheilOw kan
do is tew spark tew gals at once and pre-
| serve a good average.
Prudely Is one ov virtew bastards.
A nick name will outlive emmy man Oh
thing it is like the crook 10 dog tai lie
you may cut it oph and throw it behind
the barn, but the crook Is thare yet, and
the stump is the epitaph.
If you analize what most men call plez
zure, you will find it composed Nv one part
humbugg and two parts pain.
When you hain't got nothing to do, do
it at once; this liz the way to learn to be
bizzy.
We hev bin told that the best way to
overkum misfortunes is to fight with them
4 hev tried both ways, and recommend
successful dodge
the eyes ov others IL not to overrate our
self, but tew cauze them tew do it.
The true way to understand the judge
ments ov heaven liz to submit to them.
Method is everything, especially to or
binary men; the few men who kan lift a
tun, at pleasure, hev divine right to
take holt of it tew disadvantage.
The mind of man IL like piece ov
land that, tew be useful, must be manur-
ed with learning, ploughed with energy.
sown with vlrtew, and harvested with
ekonemy.
WHARF religion IL trade, morality IL e
merchandise
Conversashun should be enlivened with
wit, not composed ov It,
The less man knows, the more he will
guess at; and guessing IL nothing more
than suspicion.
Going tew law, IL like skinning new
mich COW for the hide, and giving the
meat tew the lawyers.
Death, tew most ov us, IL kind ov
farewell benefit, positively our last
appearance.
Phools are quite often like hornets, very
bizzy, but about what, the Lord only
knows.
Living on hope IL like living on wind, a
good way to get phull, but a poor way tew
git phatt.
Jealousy don't pay, the best it kan do,
liz to diskover what We don't want to find,
nor don't expekt to.
Sekrets are mortgage on friendships.
I don't think bad man IL dandgerous
az wee one-I don't think a bile that
haz cum to he'd, IL az risky as hidden
one, that may cum tew dozen heads.
A VIVID imaginashun IL like some glass
es, makes things at distance look twice
az big az they am, and cluss to, twice as
small az they am.
Hope is draft on futurity, sumtimes
honored, but generally extended.
If the world dispizes hypokrit what
must they think of him in heaven.
Flattery is like Kolone water, tew be
smelt ov, not swallowed.
After all, there don't seem tew be but
this difference between the wize men and
the phools the wize men are all fuss and
sum feathers, while the phools are all fuss
and no feathers.
Without friends and without enemysiz
the most reliable ackount we hav ov a
stray dog.
Men generally, when they whip a mule
sware; the mule remembers the swareing
but forgits the licking.
Sum folks wonder WHARF awl the lies
cum from, but don't, one good liar will
pizen whole country.
Hunting after fame IL like hunting after
ieas, hard tew ketch, and sure tew make
yu uneasy if w dew or don't ketch them.
Menny people spend their time trieing
tew find the whole WHARF sin got intew
this world-if t7-o men break through
the ice into mill-pond, they had better
hunt for some good hole tew git out,
rather than git lntew a long argument
about the hole they Gun tew iail In.
imasinashnn. too much INDUCED in.
soon is tortured into reality; this IL one
way that good boss thets are made, u
man leans over ID fence all day, and imag-
ines the boss in the lot belongs tew him,
and sure enuff, the first dark mite, the boss
does.
If you must chaw terbacker, young
man, for Heaven sake cnaw old plug
n ha