Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-06-10
The !@Erald.
~" Is
ALL SORTS.

DIR. Todd, being in San Francis
co, tclegraphs his sermons to HI
flock in Pittsfield.
What is the difference betweei
an editor and a wife? One sets ar
ticles to rights, and the other writes
articles to set.
The art Of talking to any on
with whom you are secretly in low,
is included in the power Of making
repartees,
An Irishman, writing a sketch o
his life, says he early ran away from
his father, because he discovered
he was only his uncle.
Mrs. Yell, cowhided Mr.. Lay 70
not performing promise to mar
ry her. AS he wouldn't make he
Lay, she made him Yell
A dandy inquired at a fruit stanc
care these apples fit for the hog
to eat ?" "Try EN- and see" salt
the woman.
"She isn't oil that fancy painted
her," bitterly exclaimed a rejected
lover; 'and, worse than that, she
isn't all that she paints herself
Anything pite you dare2" in
quired one Dutchman OF another
while engaged in angling. "No
nothing at all "Vell" returned
the other, "not'ing plte me too"
"My dear sir" said candidate
accosting a sturdy wag on the day
of election, II am very glad to see
you" "You needn't be-" replied
the wag; "Ivevoted."
An indignant orator at rccen
political meeting, in refuting an'op
ponent, thundered: "Mr. Chair
man, ! scorn the allegation, and
deIy tne alllgator'
The Schenectady Star says
young lady caught in a hurrican,
in that city, the other day, "look
ed like a white handled umbrella
blown inside out"
A school mistress in Porter Co,
Indiana, constituting physical pun
ishment literally, gave n tremen
dous cathartic to a refractory pu.
pill few days since.
One patont-medicine manufac-
turer in this country advertises in
twenty five hundred papers, 1t is
almost needless to add that his
profits are enormous,
1t was an apt answer Of young
lldy who, being asked where was her
native place, replied 81 have none
am the daughter Of a Methodist
minister"
A witness bieng interrogated as
to his knowledge of the defendant
in the case, said he knew him init
mately--"he had supped with him,
sailed with him, and horsewhipped
him"
The high price asked for piano
fortes, it is stated, is due to the
great strength in the frame Of the
instrument to resist the tension oi
the strings, which, in some in,
stances, amounts to sixteen tons.
Princess Metternico is a lady Of
sense and wit, She says a veloci
pede is "a machine that sets fool
on rollers" This is the best def
milton OF the thing yet seen, and
the world will not have q better one
soon.
A dentist in Vienna having deliv-
cred initiative teeth to lady of rank
there who declined to pay forthem,
advertised them to be sold again,
and to be seen in the mouth Of this
lady, naming her He got his
money.
A painter at work on a house in
Newport, hangs out the following
bulletin for the benefit ofinquisi,
tive people; "Answers to all ques
tions. Building red. Sashes blue
Bricks to be penclled IL the money
holds out Only one coat, Hud
son, painter"
During the first battle of Bull
Run a Brigadier General discover
ed a soldier concealed in hole in
the ground, and ordered him to
join his regiment. The man, look
ing him full in tho face, placed his
thumb upon his nose and replied
"No' you don't, old fellow, ycuI
want this hole yourself"
To ascend a staircase eighteen
feet high requires tlirty-six times
the force that is requised to walk
eighteen feet on the level ground,
and would therefore be equal to a
level walk of 324 feet SO then
person shut up in the house, and in
need of exercise, can walk his mile
by going up these stairs, say six
teen times.
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RARA AVIS IN THE Cans. "A beau.
tiful young woman entered Third
avenue car near Thirty street
on Monday evening. and n work