The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1869-05-29
a3uogtt Of finn.


IA
Strings-Spirits of Jnss Men made Perfecs.''
The following burlesque on the style of preach-
ing formerly toe prevalent in the Southwest, was,
fifteen or twenty years ago, printed IN almost
every newspaper in the United States, provoking
rosrs of laughter wherever it went. We, find It
preserved in Bnrton's Cyclopedia OF Wit and HUI:
NOR, where many other good things are emhalm.
ed. The reader will imagine that the place that
the Mississippi river, and that the preacher vas
on his way with his fiat-boat TO New OrIeans:
Il may say to you, my brethering, that am
not an edicated man an am not one nv .thsm
as believes that edication is necessary for Cos
pei minister; forI believe the Lord edioates his
preachers Jest as he wants en- to be edicsted an
although say it that -oughtn't to say It, yet in
the State OF Indianny, whar live, thars no man
as gets bigger congregations not what ! git&
Thar may be some here to-day, my brethring,
as don't know what persuasion am nv. Well
must say to You. my brethring, that I'm Hard
Shell Baptist. Thar's some folks - don't like
the Hard Shell Baptists, but I'd rather have q
hard shell as no shell at all. You see me hare
to-day, my brethring, dressed up in fine clothes;
you most think was proud; but am nor proud,
my brethring; and although I've been q preach
er Of the gospil for twenty Years. an although
am captiny OF the fiatboat that lies at your land.
ing, I'm not proud, my brethering.
I'm not giving to tell edzactly whar my text
may be found suffice to say, it's in the leds Of
the Bible, an you'll find it somewhere between
the first chapter nv the book nv Generations, and
the last chapter of the book OF Revolutions and
Of you'll 90 and search the Scriptures, you'll not
only find my text thar, bat great many others
as will do you good to read and my taxi when
you shall have found 1t, you shall find it to read
thus: 4nHg alta
"And he played on harp nv thousand
strings-sperits nv jest men made perfeck"
"My text, my brethering, leads me to speak nv
sperits. Now, thar's great many kinds nv
sperits in the world-in the first place, thars the
sperits NV terpentine, an thars the spirits, a
some folks call liquor; an I've got as good an
article NV them kind NV spirits on my Aat-boat
as was ever fotched down the Mississippi river !;
but thars great many other kinds nv sperits,
for the text says; "Hs played ON harp nv q
t-h-o-u-s.and strings-sperits NV Just men made
perfeck.'
"But I'll tell you the kind NV sperits a. what
is meant in the text Is FIRE. That's the kind
NV sperits as is meant njthe text, my brethering.
Now thar's great many kinds NV fire in the
world. In the fust place thsr's the common sort
Of fire you light your cigar or pipe with, and
thar's fox.fre and campfire, and fire before you
are ready, and Gre and fall bank, md many 9TH
er kinds Nv FIRE. for the text says, ..He played ON
made perfek.'
"But I'll tell you the kind d Gre - l. meant
in the text my brethering III HK1L F1nE /!
and that's the kind Nv Gre ~ 9xUak many nv
you'll come to, ef you don't do kottHr nor What
you have been doing--fcr HE played On . harp
Nv nonsand strings sperits Of inst men made
perfeck."
"Now, the different sorts NV FIRE in the world
may be iikened unto the different persuasions of
Chri sttaOs IN <ha vvovlI t. n. g.. -.
have the Piscapalions. an they are high sailin'
set, and they may be iikened unto turkey buz.
lard. that flies up into the air, and he goes mp,
and up, and up, till he looks no bigger than your
finger nail. and the fust thing you know, he
Gums down, and is film himself on the carkiss
Of dead hoss by the side o. the road, and "He
played on a harp thousand strings-sperits
NV Jest men made perfeck." F~w
And thar's the Methods. and they may be lik.
ened unto the squirril runnin up into tree for
the Methods believes in gwine on fran one de.
gree OF grace to another. and finally on perfec.
ton, and the squirril goes up and mp, and up,
and he jumps from limb to limb, and branch to
branch. and the FIRST thing you know he falls,
and down he comes ker1umix, and that's like
the Methods, for they isallers fallen from grace
ali and "He played on harp of thousand
strings-sperits of just men made perfcck.-
And then, my brethering, there's the Baptist,
ah and they have been likened unto possum
On a 'simmon tree, and .thunders may roll and
the earth may quake, bnt that possum clings on
still, an you may shake one foot loose, and the
others thar, and you may shake all feet loose.
and he laps his tail around the limb, and he
clings and he clings furever, for "He played on
harplluv Nsou@nd strings sperits NV just
men made perfeck."
A danny, strutting about a tavern, took up
pair OF green spectacles which lay on the table,
put them on his nose, and turning to the look.
ing-glass, said:
Landlord, how do these become me? Don't
you think they improve my look? ~
II think they d." replied the landlord, 'they
hide a part of your face"
The other day little girl presented letter
at the post-ofiice. There being no stamp upon
it, the postmaster inquired whether shs had
not brought three cents. "No," she replied,
"father has put the stamps inside"
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