Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-10-29

tnry of War. will assume the dutit
of his Office on the lst of NOvembe
A Western woman advertising he
runaway husband, says: David ha
scar Oh his nose, where l scratche
IT.
AGranite State paper has funn
typographical error. 1t speaks of
reception given to Ben. Butler, tn
band struck up Hail to the thief!
It is dangerous to become Docto
Of Divinity, DIR. Peter Cartwright
says: "Fhe very day I got the certifi
cate was taken with y pain in IN.
back"
A young lady, being charged by
gentleman with having trifled will
his feelings, very funnily, as sh'
thought, exclaimed, "Well, plea'
iaty.". ...- .-.n
At recent fair In Boston $4,000
persons were weighed, aud theil
average weight was 1873 pounds. The
heaviest man balanced the scales al
s7O4 pounds.
Seven cents day and beard is the
wages of laborer in Switzerland
Think of q mans buying his clothes
paying his doctors bills and amusing
himself on twenty-one dollars year
"The blessed man that preached
for us last Sunday" said Mrs. Part
ipgton, "served the Lord for thirty
years-first as circus rider, then as
q locust preacher, and last as an ex
hauster."
A western steamboat captain. i'm
portuned by life insurance soiici
tor, settled matters by remarking
Look here, my friend, never bel
on any game where I've got to die tc
beat it," g
The girl Of the period" will soon
appear with huge rubber rings
"ornamenting" the lower part of the
waist and tapping over the skirt.
The fashion has already reached some
of the Eastern cities.
Charles Reade says the fortunate
man is he who, born poor, or nobody
works gradually up to wealth and
consideration, and, having got them
dies before he finds they are moi
worth SO much trouble.
A young man under age applied al
q Minnesota land Office for a fai m
under the Homestead law, but was
denied on account of bis not being
married. He returned in just an
hour with a remedy for the difficulty
hanging on his arm.
Some of the Eastern people have
discovered that the way to secure q
prominent lecturer is to send HIM
the money in advance. A membe'
of one committee received the tol.
lowing reply to a request to lecture
"Yours received; money spent; will
Gomez
A gentleman" in state of intox
lcation fell asleep on the sidewalk in
Main street, Wheeling, Va, lat
week. A photographer brought his
camera to bear upon him and secured
the shodow. On being presentad
with the picture the fusileer "signed
the pledge"
Mark Twain thinks that soda wa
ter is not reliable for steady drink
1t is too gassy. The next morning
after drinking thirty-eight bottles h,
found himself full of gas and as tigh
MS q balloon. He hadn't an article O
clothing that he could wear excep
his umbrella.
A writer gives the following clea
and concise explanation of the phe
nomenen of lady's blush:
"The mind communicates with th,
center ganglion the latter, by infleS
action through the brain and facia
nerves, communicates with the or
ganic nerves in the face, with which
its branches inosculate."
A female somnambulist, in New
Haven, left her bed the other night
went To the closet, selected the laud
anum bottle from number of others
and took hearty draught. The col,
air, or something else, finalIy awaken
ed her, and when she found out wha
she had done, there was lively stir
ring for a doctor. She was KEEP
walking for seven hours, and mar
rowIy escaped fatal consequences.
Josh Billings Henry w. Shaw IL
a quaint genius forty-eight years old
and was few years ago an auction.
eer in Poughkeepsie, n. Y. Now he
lives In the metropolis, where, IL ID
said, he keeps a boarding-house
amused by his irrepressible oddities.
His weakness Is for chewing tobacco
and telling stories. He makes from
three to four thousand dollars q yeal
from his lecturing, and as much
more from his newspaper work.
An Indiana naturalist enlightens
the Fort Wayne Gazette in potato
bug nomenclature. lie says the cor
rect name Of this bug is Gymnosper.
mia Tefrady mania, Of the elias:
Observation-Disclosures, of which
there are but few species, viz: the
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, Hypocastimouoso,
and the Pieospyraneductosiarami
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
No wonder it is instant death to the
poughlelghtoughs.
Fellow citizens said stump ora
tor, We have the best country i'm the
world, aud the best government. NJ
people on the face of the globe enjoy
more privileges than we do. W.
have the liberty of the press without
onereas despotism. What, fellow,
citizens, more desirable than this
Can you want anything more. m,
country menn "
Yes, sir shouted a listener, 8.
want asuck of that flask sticking on
of year coat pocket, behind
We suppose everybody in this por
nc