Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1869-01-20
THE STORY or BLUE BEARD.
DONE BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR.

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he would or not, there was a man who ha
made himself enormously rich as whiske
inspector, or something of that sort
don't know precisely where he lived, bu
think he lived mostly in the imagination.
He run great castle, on the European
plan, had horses and run them, and in fac
run about everything in his neighborhood
including running for Office and with tn,
girls, for at the time of which write h,
was gay widower. He had great quaint
ties OF greenbacks, corner lots, oil stock
bonds, and things, but he was hideously
ugly, and had withal an enormous blue
beard, frightful to contemplate, which gave
TO him the cognomen of Blue Beard, by
which ne was known to the country round
about, as well as to the country that had
laid off its roundabout, and consequently
was in its shirt sleeves.
Blue Beard grew weary of living in soil.
tary magnificence in his lordly castle, and
finding that he was getting bluer and bluer
every day, he determined to marry Hav-
ing been married half dozen times-ta-
king half dozen raw, as one might say
| he was naturally quite miserable when de-
prived of the gentle influences of the fair
| sex for any length of time.
One of his neighbors was widow lady,
who had two very beautiful and highly &C.
compished daughters. They could play
the piano, harp. and seven-up, and work
embroidery and play Planchette elegantly.
To this widow lady Blue Beard applied
for the hand and general anatomy of one of
her daughters, leaving her to decide which
one she would give him. Although the
stamps he had pleaded loudly in his favor,
as they do yet, although this was great
many years ago, yet that dreadful beard
was against him, and neither of the young
women desired to have it against her
Blue wasn't fashionable for boards +; if it
had been it might have been different. One
of them wept bitterly because it would be
several hundred years yet before hair dye
would be discovered so that he could have
his whiskers colored.
Another circumstance rendered them shy
of him. He was having a wedding once in
while at the castle, but no funerals -
Wedding cake had been ordered from the
confectioners several times, but no under
taker had had job there yet. No matter
how many times man is left widower, if
he correspondingly patronize some respect
able owner of a hearse, but repeated we'd
lock without funerals is certainly a suspic-
ious circumstance.
Blue Beard cunningly invited the family
and their friends to the castle, where they
passed week SO delightfully."- that the youn-
gest daughter began to think blue was
pretty good color for the whiskers after all,
particularly when their possessor could
keep such an establishment as that, where
they had three meals day, besides lunch
every morning from ten o'clock until elev-
en-. She looked with contempt on red
whiskered beau of hers, she used to think
perfectly splendid, and actually asked
him why he didn't rub Indigo into en-"
The upshot of the business was, she con-
sented to become Mrs. B. Beard, and the
wedding was celebrated with great eclat.
At the expiration of the honey moon,
Blue Beard pretended to his wife that busi-
ness of importance called him away to a
distant city. He would be absent several
weeks, and in the mean time she could in
vite company and enjoy herself as much as
possible He gave her bunch of keys en-
abling her at any time to open her safe,
and feast her eyes upon the diamonds (he
loaned money on collateral" sometimes,)
greenbacks, seven-t -thirties, revenue stamps
and receipted gas bills deposited there-also
giving access to the wine cellar, store room,
picture gallery, billiard room, ten pin alley,
corn house, &C., &C., But one little key
opened q room in the basement that she
must not approach save her own peril.
She promised, and he took street car for
the depot.
From the time that Mother Eve disre-
garded the injunction against certain tree
in Eden's orchard and partook OF Rhode
Island pippin thereby introducing various
things into the world never before dreamed
of, curiosity has been an absorbing passion
with the fair sex, and we need hardly in
form the intelligent reader that her husband
was scarcely out of sight before Mrs, B. B.
had unlocked the door of the forbidden
room.
But what spectacle met her afnghted
gaze There, suspended on hooks like so
many gowns in clothes press, were the
murdered Mrs. Blue Boards, whose funer-
ais had been indefinitely postponed, while
the floor was clotted with their blood She
would have swooned, but the phrase wasn't
known at that time. Terribly agitated, she
dropped the key on the floor, staining il
with blood, which she was afterwards un-
able to was out, even with the aid of pa
tent wringer.
Blue Beard returned unexpectly, as ever
ybody might have expected, and the blood
upon the key told the story of his wife's
diobedience, for blood, you know, will