The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-05-06
CHINA, THURSDAY. MAY 6 1869

Iasnlon. "A heaVy SILK Sklrt-a pancake bon
net-a huge WATERFALL sweeping gait, and
an elevated nose, have no attractions for
them They are SO outre in their notions.
that they would think they we're sacrificing
their happiness, were they to join issue with
lady who displays a fonduess for dress.-
Such kind of men ought to be reconstructed.
They form stumbling blocks in the way of
civilization and reinment What have a
ladys domestic qualities to do with matrimo-
ny? How vulgar to require lady to study
domestic economy to know how to darn a
stocklng-cook pot tato or broil steak
Such labor would soil the parian whitencss of
her hands, h9 r
A young lady having studied these rules
and shaped her conduct accordingly, may
consider herself a graduate in the school of
Fashion Itisvery natural that she should
. look out for companion for life, and one
suitable to her condition and education, after
all the trouble she has taken to make her
self an object that man might be proud Of
4 Marriage is serious thing, and often enter
ed into with reckless impetuosity. "Look
before you leap" is common advice; but,
nowadays it seems to be s'J4eap before you
| ioON' StSA - A1VaL 81
"Wedlock's d saucy, sal familiar state,
| Where folks are very apt to scold and hate;
| Love keeps modest distance is divine,
! Obliging, and says every thing that's fine"
If anything can render politeness redicu-
lous, and even odious, it is the dispositions
Of certain persons, who in society are moder-
ate, amiable and gracious; but in private
show themselves morose, and ill,natured -
Such is the declaration of the snarling cynic,
who never knew what it was to be polite !;
and who would been growing both at
home and abroad. Please the world by all
means-nake society think you are amiabe,
if at home you have the temper Of a tigress
Courtship was instituted for the purpose Of
giving the interested parties an opportunity
of studing each others dispositions, ard cal
culating the amount of happiness they would
sacrifice by entering the mouse-trap Dazzle
your suitor by the brilliancy of your wit, the
rich stores Of your cultivated mind the SPLEEN
dor of your dresses, the amiability of your
heart; charity, benevolence, religion and all
the cardinal virtues should be made to bear
on the object you wish to obtain. Love may
be Jeff to SILVER out in the cold air, while by
pocracy is warning his shins before the fire
Having caught a husband by the skillful
use of these innocent snares you can then
give full bride to your naturo-please your
self and annoy him as much as possible
Keep up a continual fire Of caprice and harsh
ness-tor conjugal intimacy dispenses with
the etiquette established by politeness. It
would be absurd for a wife and husband to be
polite to one another; it is not expected any
more than it is to meet Spoons Butles, ESQ,
| in heaven!
In the presence Of your husband, you ought
! always to do those things which carry with
them a disagreeabc idea, such as making him
| hold your skeins-thumbing On the piano
and singing aloud when he is overlooking his
ledger Or writing letter. Most husbands
expect that their wives will mend their hose
and put buttons on their linnen. Assert your
dignity and proclaim that such kind Of work
belongs to the aundress.
| Dress careless before your husband, in Or
der that he may the more appreciate you
when you shine out in company. Besides,
| he is bound to you by the laws Of God and
man-and, to please him is mere trifing
consideration
| If you arc troubled with "little response
bilities," whip them soundly before putting
them to bed, it shows the anxiety you feel
for their well being. IF they will not sleep,
| brighten them with ghost stories; raw-head-
and-bloody bones, and all that sort of thing,
or dose them with laudanum.
Ii at any time the society Of your husband
causes ennui, you ought to tell him so and
even venture to call him great bore" It
will be sure to drive him to seek the company
Of boon companions, where his good humor
vii. be appreciated. Wives that carry out
this rule are very apt to become widows very
| soon. .5 -
If your husband says he would like mutton
for dinner, be sure to set out pork, which he
detests. If he likes his roast beef rare, order
the cook to over do it. These acts try his
| patience.
Treat the relatives of your husband with
little or no consideration, while you shower
all kinds OF attentions on your own. This
gives the family with whom you are connect
ed, the idea that you have greatly condescend-
ed IN conscnting to become united with them.
Marriage is said to be like masonry nobody
knows the secret until they are initiated Be
sure to tell your neighbors Of all your domes-
tic troubles--draw the curtain from before the
sanctuary of homo, and let the world see all /;
for outsiders are extremely charitable, and
will be sure to demolish house that is diyl-
ded against itself
1t is not necessary that your husband should
have secrets that you should not know for
marriage makes you, according to the Poet
"Two souls that mingle into one;''
ergo, what's yours is his, and what's his is
yours. Therefore, have no respect for the
letters he writes or receives-pry into the re-
cesses Of his cscratoire and learn all you can.
Confide to strangers or domcstios the amount
Of your researches, and the little vcxations
they have caused you-the suspicious that
haunt you. BE sure to tell them not to
breathe word about it to any one else-it is
not likely they will.
In public give every evidence Of your deep
affection for the man you have welded, by
calling him by all the cndearing titles that
can be found in the vocabulary of Cupid. 1t
looks interesting, and no one will believe that
you fight like cats and dogs when at home
Remember whatthe pious Young says:
"Abroad too kind, at home It's steadfast hate,
| And one eternal tempest Of debate"
Is there female on this fair earth who
| would MT witch To he cnnsiIernd hnautifill 2