The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1869-05-06
Deceit of Song Writers.
FROM tho Cinnipra+i Tim,

- From the Cincinnati Times.
The man who wrote "Home, Sweet
Home" never had home-Erchdnge.
No, of course not All his folks at
home say he didn't Nobody who writes
about anything ever has it. If man is
out of anything he immediately goes and
writes about it, No one writes so many
headings" as the man who is out Of his
head.
Certainly he didn't ever have any home.
The man who wrote "Old Arm Char
never had an arm chair in all his life.
The best he had was an old splint. bottom
chair without any back to it.
e The author of Take Me Back to Swift
zerland," never was in Switzerland. The
nearest he ever came to 1T was sitting in
the VIM. Tell saloon eating Switzer kase
Ease why, that was the best he could do.
Mother, I've Come Home to Die" has
Mt spoken to the old woman for years,
and wouldn't go near the house. Besides
he is one of that class of spiritualists who
don't believe they ever will die. His
health was never better. His mother is
nothing but a mother-in-law, and she IS
dead, anyhow. ~
| There is the auther of "Old Oaken
Bucket" too; there wasn't a bucket on
the whole farm, water being drawn with
a tin pail and cistern pole
If had but a thousand year stated
privately to his friends that he would be
| perfectly contented with half that sum, as
| he was doing chores just tor his board
and three months schooling in the winter
The author of champagne Charley
| never drank anything but ten-cent W his
key @
The man who wrote "Mary had Lit
tie Lamb" knew very we'll it was nothing
but q zitt1o. lamb t1y.se@~s IN
"Shells of Ocean, is a humbug. The
plaintive poet who represents himself as
wandering, one summers eve, with sea-
beat thought on pensive shore, was rails
ed in the interior of Pennsylvania, and
never was ten miles away from home in
his life Gathered shells" did he? All
the shells he ever gathered were some
egg shells back Of his mothers kitchen
clark, / hear the angels singing spent
all his evenings in concert beer saloon.
Angels, indeed! as r
| The man who wrote the "Song Of the
Shirt, hadn't a shirt to his back, wearing
a wampus for the most part. Sal
"0ft in the Silly Night" used to get
on a spree and make the Silly night howl
| till daybreak. E.
The author of "We Met by Chance
knew very we'll it was all arranged before
hand. He had been weeks in contriving
it,-and she admired his continuance.
The author of II know a bank" etc,
didn't know one where he could get his
note discounted. The only check he ever
held was white check on faro bank
He never hada red check in all his life.
"What are the wild waves saying?"
knew very we'll they were reproaching
him for running away from Long Branch
without paying his hotel bill
+ "Who will care for Mother now?" Who,
indeed You took the old woman to the
poor house just before writing the song,
and there is no one but the poor master to
care for her now.
Clear me, Norma" was deaf and dumb
He couldn't make his pa hear, nor mo.
"My Mother Dear" used to thrash the
old woman within an inch of her life.
'Let me kiss him for his mother" got
mad because his mother wouldn't have
him, and whipped her little boy within
an inch Of his life
Il dreamt dwelt in marble halls" used
to cheat at marbles when a boy, and his
dream was a horrid nightmare, brought
ulent marble hduZs
I'm saddest when l sing" was tickled
almost to death if invited to.