The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-08-16

SUDsTRAcTroN.- ..-..r-..
From six take nine,
From nine take ten,
From forty take fifty, A'
And six will remain" H2i
From sIX, TX, XII, 4s
Take TX, X, l.. ND
Remain s ! x. IL
Slanderers are like flies that leap al
over mans good parts, to light only ol
his sore ones. ,s, ra ssr
Tho oldest plant-the sugar plant
Adam and Eve raised Cain, and many
married people follow their example aver
in this age.
Why is a one dollar grecnback better
than silver dollar? When you fold it
you double it, and when you open it, yor
find it increases.
An editor describing a church in Min.
nesota says-"No velvet cushions in ou,
pews; We don't go in for style. The
latest person has the sof.est seat" @
An editor was attacked by man for .
personal grievance. Tho editor says =
10 avoid iujuring him, and to prevent bis
injuring US, We hurried out Of his way,
Flattcry-Holding man by the but.
ton-holc with one hand, and pinning ,
packard on bis coat-tail with the other.
In the swing round the circle taken by
Tennessee on Thursday. Stokes mus
have represented the centrifugal force.
Men are generally like wagons, they
rattle prodigiously when there is nothing
in them. sSia ~ sep3
To win q lady-earry affection in your
heart, perfection in, your dress and ad-
dress, and confection in your pockets. ,% ~
Some one commended Philip Of Mace.
don for drinking freely. "That,n said
Dcmosthcnes, lis good quality in a
sponge, but not in king.'
If dman wants to get at his actual d.
mensiohs, let him visit graveyard.
A story is told Of two Yorkshiremcu
who Travelled together three days in a
stage-coach without word ever passing
between them. On the fourth day one
Of them at length. ventured to remark thai
it wasa fine morning. "And who said
it warn't ~ was the reply.
The corn crop Of the United States 70,
1868 was nine hundred millions of bush.
els; Of this about four millions of bushels
were exported. The wheat crop was two
hundred and twenty-five millions of bush.
els, and Of this the larger portion was ex.
ported either in bulk or -four.
"Tathcr," said lad. II often read o.
people being poor, but honest;' why don
they sometimes say rich, but honest? 2 q
"Tut, tut, my SON." replied the father
nobody would believe them"
There Is not only place for everything
as binted by the Scripture, but there il
the best time. fnstanccs-1he best time
to court a woman is when she is your.
and pretty; the best time to swap horse.
is before YOU cross the stream the bes
time to do good deed is right away; I'll,
best time to pay yonr debts and addressc
is when you make them.
We we're speaking Of handsome me,
the other evening, and was wonderin,
why X. had SO lost the beauty for whicl
Eve years ago he was 50 famous. "Oh
it's because he never did anything'said B
"he never worried, thought, or suffered
fou must have the mind chisselling ava,
at tle features, il you want handsom
middle.aged men,"
The editor Of a Wisconsin paper is brag
gihg Of bis titles He says-Wcdnes
days mail brought to us letter address
ed Rev" another "I1on.." ancthe,
"Col.." one "Ntr.a and the last Esq
On the way to dinner we accidental,
stepped on a woman's trail, and she ad
dressed us rs "Yol brute." "a
Tom Hood wrotc to bis butcher that |
vas necessary for the sake Of cheap liera
ture aud the interest Of the reading public
that he should furnish htm with meat at d
very tritiing per cehtage above cost price
Mr. Stokes rrplied-"sir, nespectin' YOU
note Cheap literater be blowed Butcher.
must live as well as other pepel-and II 81
be you or tho rcdin' publick wants tt
have meat at cost price, you must buy
your own beastesses aud kill yourselves
I rename, TO-" 5lR EI
A Syracuse chap wrote letters L
another mans wife and that lady showet
them to her husband. III one l6tterarc
quest was made for the lady to tneet hiu
in the Arcade as The post Office, aud sh'
acceded. Tho no,ting was had OF Thurs
day night last, but II was a very brie
one, the lady's husband making bis ap
pearance and Knocking the letter.writt'
down. No words were spoken, but til,
meeting Immediately adjourned, Tie bus.