The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-05-13

family, anu winch deem teW ADJ
struse tew be written down here. My
wife turned pale at the remark, and
began to fuss for her kamphor.
The grandur. the almost sublimity
ovNiagara Falls has been deskribed
SO often and so intolerably well by
previous visitors who has been blest
with college edukashnn that it
would be but petty larceney for me
tew git ketched at it, but will say,
az the mad liquor impetous tumbles
he'd fust into the boiling kaldron belo,
and the smoke ov its torrent ascends
amid the roar, thought how idle Ian
guage waz, and how lazy description
was, tew portray this great idea ov
the Almighty.
The fnst thing did wuz tn get at
the hight ov the Falls, which 1 found
ont was owing tew the distance the
water fell, the quantity oy the fluid,
and the noise it made.
: Il have lost the paper I made the cal
culashun on, but it must have been at
least three thousand square feet.
/ should think that hle fuss the wa
ter makes in its hurry to fall, could be
heard two hundred miles; but didn't
have time to stand off that distance
and see if it was acktualy so.
I learned that the Fall belongs now
to the United Stated and Great Brit
ain, about half-and-half ;but shouldn't
wonder if, sum time the United States
would own the whole of it. Nature
has done the fair thing for Niagri, and
man haz not been lazy.
Their waz one thing that happened
tew me while here, that will last me
for mi lifetime, and when l git
through with it, it will do to hand tew
mi posteritys without danger of spill
ing.
The Americans had just finished q
new suspension bridge, and hooked it
onto the Canada side, just belo the
Falls.
This bridge is thirteen hundred feet
in length, only twelve feet wide, and
about two hundred and fifty feet
above the water, and IL four feet long
er than the railroad bridge, three
miles belo.
Thare had but one carriage yet
crossed the bridge and it being known
that 1 was connekted with the New
York Weekly, everybody waz anx-
ious that should go over.
1 took seat in an elegant turnout
got up for the occasion, my wife by
mi side, driven by Darby Sheridan 9
noted whip and ribbon handler ov the
place, we started slowly over.
We the seckond pair ov mortals
who had taken the dizzy ride.
My wife grew dearer and a good
deal nearer tew me, as we progressed
and before we reached the Canada
side, we were farely one flesh.
When we had seen her majesty
soil, and safely recrost the fiimsy spal
again, am willing 10 say I had suf
fered all the suspension bridge glor.
that wanted.
We were welcomed on our return
tew the hotel with open arms, ant
two hot lemonades with little oil
rye lurking in one of them.
I took mine without, any wry faces
and whispered to my soul, as the las
swallow went reluctantly down end
ways, suspension bridges may be :
good risk tew take, but a shot lemon
ade whiskee is better"
Thare IL one thing that Niagar
don't lack whatever may be her mors
defaults in other matters, and that
professional guides.
Upwards oy fifty different peopl
waz anxious to guide me tothe stron
points ov the place.
One pale-faced youth, more clamol
ous than the rest, with patent lcatht
boots, which had been new at tt
height of the season, but which ha
becum season-cracked and bulged s
yerely at the roots ov each big to
wanted to guide me so much that
finally told him he might guide n
sum if he would be keerfu,.
,.,s During the time this innocent you
waz in mi company he told more thu
$50 original and deeply interestil
lies.
He showed me where Jim Bucha
. an killed the CRATE injun waryer, 7
cumser, in hand to hand scuff
which lastids three hours and sew
minits, during which time his oy
grandfather held the watch, and
pointed out the tree that Major And
waz hung on, and showed me the ide
tical house in the distance where Re
ert Burns wrote the immortal ode tt
his highland Mary, and also the p
yate residence ov Hon. John Nor
sey, and probably would have shoN
me the Plymouth Rock, where Q
forefathers landed, if 1 had asked h
to do it.
But when had told him that 10
Morrisey had been dead more th
fifteen years, he discovered that
want SO green.
He also offered tew sell me, for t
dollars and fifty cents, lock ov.
burn hair from the young lady's he
who past, last spring in high wat
safely over the Falls, on the rou
side Of a helnlock slab, playing
life on the ocean wave" OH q b
vial. v
After the young man had gui'
me for one hour and quarter, p
him ten cents and dismlsst him.
He looked at me and then at
size of the money, az tho he thou
we possibly might be twins. = ~