The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-04-24
WIT AND wIRDOM.

CARPENTERS, for the most part speak
plainly, hut thev will chsel when shev get A
chance. Not unfrequentlV they are bcres aud
often annoy one with their old saw.
WHGr length ought a Iady's crinoIia, to
be2 little above two feet.
A YouNo felll~, fond of talking, remark
ed, III am 20 prophet" "True,n replied
lady present, ''n0 profit to yourself nor any
one else"
"SPEAKISG Of shaving" said q pretty eirl
20 40 obstinate old bachelor. al should
thins that pair q handyOm- ryp- -OuA-
DO the best mirror I'D shave by.D
eyes, many poor fellow his been shaved
BY them" the wretch reDlied"
"WoULDN'- you call this the calf of a leg'''
asked B N, pointing 60 one of his nstber
limbs. NO" replied Pat, II skoald say il
vas Ihe leg of calf"
"I SEVER shot bird III nv life, " said A
friend 70 40 freshman, who replied: "I
never shot any'hing in the shape Of bird.
but a squirrel, which killed wish d stone,
and Il fell into the river and was drowned" ("
ONa certain occasion, Damon and Pythias
has been played w a g1eatre III Washington.
n the last act, a. Damon was about ~ be
led to ex cutiOn, ,straining bis eyes in The e.
fort 20 discern bis friend in the distance,
and asking, sis be coming ?" LOCOMOTIVES
whistle sounded close bY. ''IIe'n 5e here
On The ueKt train,n shouted a wa, and IN
Al instant the emotion ras changed 81
laugrter.
fHs L'SG AND SHlRr ~ Tr.--A tall East
N sirl. ntnei Sl,rt, lov a a big Mr. Lit
II While u tIs, irtle linking of Short,
lived liLla A. named Ling. To make a
long story -hlrr, u -fie proposed tl LonE
and SHIRT lfnZ-i r1 hs even with Little's
sbart-co 0ings - ) rrt meeting Long
thr-aten-d t1 nav Litds before lorg,
~hieb caus Lirri- in sh rt tune 81 mar
ry Llpg. QIery -Di ta4l Short love big
Little les 1sclu-e Li-rle Owed L1ngf
A BUrrER TICK An amusing coIloauy.
-sys a Sestern uaJer, ottns Of recently At
the supper table, 90 board one Of our Miss
issippi boats, between boston exquisite.
rocking win hlir Oil And c1llgus, who was
cnrsing ths Eaiters, assuming very cOn-e-
qIential airs, and a raw Jonathan, seated
I by hIs side, dressed 10 homespgn. Turning
q hI~ vul ar friend. the former pointed
With his jeFel-d dugsr, AMI said
\ "Buttah, .alY7
Y III ses n i-, c0llly replied Jonathan.
Y "Buttad, sab, 4 Jay 4" feroely repeated
7 the dandy
al know it,-very good, a srst rate ar
/ ticle
'Battah 7 tell yoll N tbundered the dan
v Nv. In still louder tones, pointing with slow,
ununring finger, and scowiing upon bis
neigh b0r, AZ II be would annihilate him.
! "WaN. gosh all Jerusalem what Of IL 2"
now yelled the down easter, getting his dan
der up 10 turn yer didn't think | took il
sor lard, dii ys2"
N THs LAST CBrEES GONE.-When the con
Y ference ass mbiei in HillsbOrough, some
years since, on the iast day Of The session,
LAT, whose dad ente, aimed some half =
dozen preach RS, entered he room where
The ministers we're seated, ID 0 terrible state
or excitement.
whats tie matter, isaac" asked one,
s'you seem xeited.
Excited / amt excited, Pm mad all
over"
"WhAt are you mad about, Isaac Don't
you know iPs wroDg ~ suffer yourself W BE-
come angered NJ
"Wrong or no wrong ii Il enough 10 make
ANYBODY mad but a preacher Hers every
chicken on the place eat Up, except the old
I rooster, and Just now be happened 90 see
! you fellows am sung out: "And must this
feeble body de-" and dropped over stone
dead.
I ACTRESSES have two avenues 70 success
gorgeous dressing, a7nstic undressing.