The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-01-24
GUMHO PREPARED BY A. BEAD.
PALACE OF THE SEIzARs, Jan. "a.

PALACE OF THE SEIZARS, Jan. "a.
Col. j. 0. NiIon-" Old Syracuse bows her
head to the dust and we are slaves forever" Are
we? Shall we "sufer the sings and arrows of
outrageous fortune " to be slung at us with i'm
punity or impecuneosfy? Shall we let the wheels
of the Juggernsut roll over US and crush Us so
that we won't know whether we have jug or
not? Shall the upstsrt tyrsnts come forth from
their oicloth csrpetbsgs and put their dirty feet
upon our necks, without having their boots pol.
ished with Masons backing at 5 cents pair ?
or. getting their eyes BACKED for less money !?
Shall we be compelled to drain the cup to its
dregs, and drink skim milk for buttermilk! Snail
pretended Legislature usurp the powers of our
people. waste our substance in riotous living,
play :" up " upon our affairs and " draw poker 4"
upon our hearth stones? Shall crime and the in.
ternsl revenue official stalk abroad ia our Streets
hand in hand, unpublished? Fate aud the Han
cock Club have decreed otherwise The g." sun
of Austerliiz " shall dawn upon the old State of
Louisiana one of these days, and the land shall
overflow with milk punch and honey, and the alli-
gator ard the coon shall lie down together. ard
little pickauinny shall lead EN-. Yes! The
stars have said it ; and the voice of my own pro-
phetic and oracuIar soul proclams their shining
sybils!" Louisiana shall yet be wrested from the
hands Of men who, like Esaw, would sell their
birtbright for a mess of potash? / have come
back to her. and | shall never "gO back " on her.
1t makes my creole heart bleed to see how she is
being bled by these chiropodist members OF
lowbea Legislature. But the time is coming
when they will get their come op-ence, and may
Gen. Butler have mercy on their soles. There
will be weepin' an w'slin' an smashin' of teeth.
Let the CALLED jades vince; orr necks will be IN.
wTung. The Pelican shall yet roost in safety.
A FACETIoUs LETTER
followed me from the North, which propose to
give you tobou'em et Idteratotnl, if for no other
reason than to show that some good may come
out of Nazareth. The writer is a bon uiudRt, and
q (legitimste) child of genius; one OF those of
whom you might say, with Byron, glorious fell
low, long to get drunk with him" But here is
the letter:
llTH JANUARY, 1859.
There may be some excuse, my dear Head. for
the unceTemOni0us msnner Ia which mal comes
into the world, for in that case he doesn't get
MS own traps, and has not the matter within
his own exclusive control; bur for the man of
sound and disposing mind aud memory who
is supposed 10 know his own will, even II he
has not much acquaintance with his testament,
to leave the highly civilizi influences of Puri
cesspool of Southern gentleness and courtesy,
without so much as saying "good bye, old Rese.
voir," to his dearest friends and creditors-for
such man, | say, the poverty of tue English
language furnishes no adequate abusive epithet.
] therefore struggle to conceal my rage; and in
my blandest manner-with a smile conceaDg
the hate which RACES within mccall you my
dear old boy, and inquire, just as if l really
cared, how you are, and what in HI and d-n
You are about.
You had been so quiet and so much out of
the way for some time before you LEFT, that for
a day OF two, did not suspect your surreptitious
departure. But began to discover su absence
Of toothsomeness in the "apple jack" the clam
dropped, disconsolste In his half open she'll :;
the vegetable soup seemed to have lost
its SAVIOR and turned TO Stops within my mouth,
Then it was, II flashed upon me. had missed thine
ever-present courtesy and thy ready testify
happy carelessness OF the Ills of life and the cheer
ful rubicundiy Of thy convivial nose. These were
gone.
"All gone away init der lager bier,
Away in der Evigket.'
For me, have Withdrawn myself from the part
OF Bummer, and now appear 10 the new and mot
yeti highly successful role of Laborer-not in
tbe vineyard of The Lord, but IN the dIstillery Of
the law.
pumber Of Us have entered-wi,h the
new year-npon what is known 10 the language
of the Oriental race among whom | was born and
where passed my early days, as "hesvy kag."
1rhDhlhteO, III means ludt we 10 dDSthln from all
intoxicating beverages within the limits OF this
sncient town OF Falmouth. Probably with view
10 lid my tottering steps in this new path, and
strengthen nay halung resolution, the knd-hearted
Temperance people summoned me before the
grand Jury last Saturday, 20 testify against the
Falmouth House, which, under the oDl CATION of
my oath, was forced - do.
Misguided man How lamentable that your
uncultiyated taste should lead you to forsake the
land where the leading men smell st sink spOuIs
and drag gentleman before the grand inqlest TO
testify that bis neighbor committed the crime of
shOrdiDR him refreshment for 8 reasonable com
peusatOn-to waliOw IN the mire of wIckedness,
where man may eat and drink what he plesses,
unless he prefers To 90 otherwise
Your course is astounding, and ! wish you
would explain it by letter, for we may not ex.
peet to see you North until that season when q
fuller crimson comes upon the robins brssst.'
Ionr true, but thirsty friend, A. U. B.
Yes, mon cher i did leave thee unkulled IN
coIined ard unknown and anybody who wouldn't
leave such climate as you get up to feed people
on in your section ought to be whipped. The
I" highly cvilizing influences Of puritanicsl bar
bsrsm" are not sufficient inducement for me to
hover among you long at time neither is your
Maine liquor law, which presumes to inspect the
methermilk as il passes to the mouth of the tooth
less child, to see if there isn't alcohol in it. But
while you may blush for this and for your own
many sins and inlquities, you may be proud to
know that your humble servant and afianced be-
trothed paid his washwemsn before leaving and
smoothed the pathway Of her declining years by
presenting her with one of his shirts. hope she
viii now be able to shift for herself.
IT'S well you discover, my friend, "lack of
tootbsomeness in the apple jack" for 1t is the fell
syren that was Turing you to Nj. Potter's Field.
List not to her alluTing voice. go not TO her arms
Of death. But rather, listen to the teachings of
the higher Law" of that skion of a noble house,
Neal Dow, and save your talents. your genius and