The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-09-17
DAHY JOURNAL
rHURsDAY.............sFPrEMBEB IS, 1'e9

4
Somebody having congratulated
Theirs on the enthusiasm with which
he was welcomed at the opening OF
the Legislative body, he replied :
The greatest pleasure take In 1t IS
thinking how it will veX somebody
elsep' to wit: the Emperor.
Difference between an Editor and a
Wife-One writes articles to "set;"
the other sets articles to rights.
What are the wild waves singing?
Let Us pray. To what tune should
the words be sung? Neptune And
in what key? The key of Sea.
Papa, what IS humbug?" ut IS"
replied papa, when mamma pretends
to be very fond Of me, and puts no
buttons on nv shirt till reminded OF
1t dozen times.
Lady-"Can you wash and iron?
omestic-"Oh, yes, m, but your
Mace would not suit me unless you
SEnocked of wearing them long Hol-
land DIRE sses Of a morning.
The San says Gov. Hoffman relies
upon his moustache for success, as a
candidate for the Presidency. That
IS q good enough reliance, supported,
as 1t is by a very stiff upper lip.
The ladies Of Paris have grown
tired Of Havana dogs, and now the
rage is for monkeys-the more mis-
chievous and diminutlve the better
An English paper advertises for
sale a pew which, commands a view
of nearly the whole congregation.
This tough steak makes me think
of a famous old English poet"
- That's queer. What poet does it
make you think OF" " Chau Gel"
A New Haven editor calls another
moral hyena, whose foul and fest
ering tongue drips with gall and aqua
forts" They've had an election lately
A physician boosted at dinner that
he cured his own hams, when one OF
his own guests remarked: I" Doctor, L
would sooner be your ham THAI your
patient.
An exchange says: Rats cannot
live In Alaska, because their holes
freeze up solid as fast as the rats can
dig them. Naturally the rats get dis
couraged. At St. Thomas the earth
duakes turn their holes wrong side
out forty-three times a minute. This
surprises the rats and they leave on
the first steamer.
Them soldiers must be an awful
dishonest set, said an old lady, . for
not night seems to pass that some
sentry is not relieved Of his watch"
One who has ciphered it out says
that two cents placed on compound
interest would accumulate sufficiently
to pay our national debt in four hum
dred and ffty-six years.
q have never felt willing" said
DIR. Dewey, In one of his lectures, lin
performing the marriage ceremony to
use the word obey in reference to the
Wife-wedlock. being a state of entire
reciprocity"
Swift was one day in company with
a young eoxcOmb, who, rising from
his chair with confident and con
ceited air, L would have you know,
Mr. Dean, [ set up for a wit. Do
you indeed?" replied the dean: 'Then
take my advice, and sit down again"
Martha" said James what letter
In the alphabet do you like best?"
Martha didn't like to say; but the |
young man insisted. "Well'' was her |
final answer as she dropped her eyes.
Il think | like U best
A boy who heard the quotation =
"a little learning is dangerous
thing" wished TO stop going to school |
because he was afraid he should not
live long enough to get past the dan
gerous point
= Bridget" said mistress TO her
Irish servant, =" where 5 the gridironY
" And shure, ma ma, Use just after |
giving it to my SISTERS own cousin |
O'Flaherty; the things so full of |
holes it's notgcod at ALL"
An Irish girl, who plumed herself
on being employed in a "genteel fam
term. Where they have two. or
three kinds Of wine aud the gentle
man swear" was the reply.
Two Irishmeu were travelling, when
they stopped to examine a Guide |
board Twelve miles to Portland"
said orc. Just six apiece" said the |
other And they trudged on appar-
emily satisfied at the small distance.
A living Hibernian exclaimed at a
party where Theodore Hook shone as
the evening star, Och, Master The
odore, but you are the hook nobody |
can bate.
THE Pittsburg COMMERCIAL an
nOunces that Justice r. g. Grier, of |
the United States Supreme Court, will |
resign early this fall. He is 20 years
of age, and has become physically en-
feebled.
An English farmur. by picking over
his seed-wheat Will the utmost care,
and planting a grain in a place, at
Intervals ola foot each way, produced
i62 bushels to the acre.
Parents should watch how the
children spend their pennies. A
single immature apple may cost doz-
en- visits of the doctor and dozen |
sleepless night,
An Engligh cocknsy at the; Falls