The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-02-05
SrlrttrO lllistrllauU.
NEW UNCOMMERCIAL SAMPLES.
BY CHARLES DICKENS
A LITTLE DINNER N Az HOUR.

4 ANl ia u a AhN III AuAN AAhN AAhAAA
that I had to go down from London to a
place Of seaside resort on an hours bust
ness, accompanied by my esteemed friend
Bullhnch. Let the place of seaside resort,
be, for the nonce, called Nnmelesston.
had been lettering about Paris in very
hot weather, pleasantly breakiasting in the
open nir in the garden of tie Palais Royal
OF the Tuileries, pleasantly dining in the
open mir in the Elysian Fields, pleasantly
taking my cigar and lemonade in the open
mir on the Italian Boulevard towards the
small hours after midnight. B~ullhnch-an
excellent man of business-had summoned
NE back across the Channel TO transact this
rnid hours business at Namolesston. and
thus il fell ont that Bullhnch and / were in
Il railway carriage together on our way to
Eamelesston, each with his return ticket in
his waistcoat pocket.
Says Bullhnch: II have q proposal TO
make. Let us dine at the Temerire."
asked Bullfinch, Did he recommend the
Temernire2 Inasmuch as | had not been
rated on the books Of the Tomomire for
many years.
Bullfnch declined to accept the Iespon-
'uibility of recommending tho reneraire,
but ON the whole was rather ssI guine about
It. He seemed 10 remember" Dullinch
said, that he had dined well thcrO. A plain
dinner, but good. Certainly not like a Pa
risinn dinner there Bullfnck obviously be
became the prey Of wan Of confidence, } but
Of its kind very fair.
appealed to Bullfnch's intimate knowl-
edge Of my wants and ways to decide wheth-
er l was usually ready TO be pleased with
any dinner, or for the matter Of that
with anything that was fair Of its kind and
really what It claimed to be. Bullfnch do
ing me the honor to respond in the affirm.
alive, | agreed to ship myself re an Able
Trencherman on board the Tcmeraire.
Nov, II plan shall be this, says Bull
nnch, with his forehnger nj his nose. "As
soon as we get to Nameles5ton, Wen drive
straight 10 the Temeraire, and order "a lit
tie dinner in an hour, And AZ We shall not
have more than enough time in which to
dispose of il comfortably, what de- you say
TO giving the house the best opportunities
of serving it hot and quickly by dining in
the cofiee-roomf'
What had TO say was, Certainly. Bull
finch (who is by nature of a hopeful con-
stitutionl then began 20 babble Of green
geese. Butt checked him in that Falsta-
than vein, urging considerations Of time
and cookery.
In due sequence Of events we drove mp
to the Temeraire and alighted. A youth in
livery received us on the doorstep. Looks
well" said Bullhnch, conhdenhally. And
then aloud, "Coiiee-rooml"
The youth in livery NOW perceived to be
mouldy) conducted us TO the desired hay
en-, and was enjoined by Bulllnch TO send
the waiter Mt once, as We wished 10 order q
little dinner IN mn hour. Then Bullfnch
and / waited for the waiter until, the wait
an anVAiVNraV,V 10 usaft -. nV. .Vyl..nVfV, u,,l
invisible sphere ofactisp, We rang Tor the
waiter, which ring produced the waiter,
who announced himself as not the waiter
who ought TO wait upon NJ, and who didn't
wait a moment longer.
SO Bullinch approached the cotlse-room
door, and melodiously pitching his voice
into a bar where two Young ladies were
keeping the books of the Temeraire. apo
logetically explained that we wished 20 or
der a little dinner in an hour, and that We
we're debarred from the execution of our
i~noffensiye purpose by consignment to soil
tude.
Hereupon one Of the young ladies rang o
bell, which repToduced-at the bar this
time-the waiter who was not the waiter
who ought to wait upon us; that extraordi,
nary man, whose life seemed consumed in
waiting upon people to say that he wouldn't
wait upon them, repeated his former pro
test with great indignation, and retired.
Bullhnch, with a fallen countenance, was
about 10 say TO mo This won't do" wheI
the waiter who ought to wait upon us lef
of keeping us waiting at last, Waiter,
said Bullhnch, %piteously, 1--WE have been 4
long time waiting" The waiter who ought
to wait upon us laid the blame upon the
waiter who ought not TO wait upon rs, and
snid it was all that walters fault.
1--WE wish" said Bullinch, much depres
sed, ITO order a little dinner in An hour
What can we have?'
What would you like to have, gentle
men2"
Bullfnch, with extreme mournfulness o
speech and action, aud with a forlom ole
hy-blown bill of fare in his hand which the
waiter had given him, and which was
sort of general manuscript Index 10 an,
Cookery-Book you please, moved the pre-
yious question.
We could have m%ock-turtle soup, a sole
curry, and roast duck. Agreed. At thil
table by this window. Punctually in al
hour.
l had been feigning took out of this win
dow; but / had been taking notes of tn
crumbs on all the tables, the dirty table
cloths, the stuffy, sonpy, aiTless atmos
phere, the stale leavings everywhere about
the deep gloom Of the waiter who ought t
wait upon us, and the stomachache will
which a lonely traveller Mt a distant table il
the corner was too evidently aWicted.
now pointed out to Bullinch the alarming
circumstance that this traveller had dined
We hurriedly debated whether, withou
infringement Of good breeding, we coul
ask him 10 disclose if he had partaken {
mock-turtle, sole, curry, or roast duckf W
decided that the thing could not be politel
done, and that we had set our own stomach
ON a cast, and they must stand the hazar
of the die.
hold phrenology, within certain limit
TO be true; | am much of the same min
as 10 the subtler expressions of the han(
l hold p~hysiognomy 10 be infallible; thong
all those sciences demand rare qualities
the student. But / also hold that there
no more certain index 10 personal charac
er than the condition Of a set of casters
10 the character of any hotel. Knowing
aud having often tested this theory ofmin'
Bullfnch resigned himself 10 the worsi
when, laying aside any remaining veil {