The Placer herald., 1869-10-30
A QUAKER DEFECTIVE.

We we're Eve passsngers 10 all; two ladies'
on the back seat, . middle-agsd gentlsman
and a Quaker on the middle, and myself Oh
the one 10 'front.'
The two ladies might have been mother
charge, or might have sustained sny other
relationship which made it proper for two
ladies 10 travel together unaltsrded.
The middls-sgsd gentleman was sprebtly
and laxative. He sooo struck up an ac.
quaintancs With tho ladies, toward whom,
10 bic zeal TO do, be rather overdid, the
agseeabls-bowing and smiliug and chat
tering over his shoulder in a way painfully
suggestive at this time Of life. of "crick"
in the neck. He was evidently gray Lo.
tbario. 81,
The Quaker wore the uniform Of bis sect,
aud coofned bis speech, as many a parla
mentarisn would save bis credit BY doing
10 simple yeas" aud "nays." AS for my
self make it an invariabIe rule Of the road
to be merely a locker on aud listener.
Toward svsoipg, l was aroused from one
Of those rsveriss into which young man
without being either poet or q lover, will
sometimes fall, BY the abrupt query from
tue tAikauVS Sentietnan
"Ars you armed. slri"
II am .not,"I answered, astouished, DO
doubt vsibly, at the question.
II am sorry to bear it," be replied; "for
before reaching our stopping place It will be
several hours 10 the night, and We must
pass over a portion of the road on which
more than one robbery is reported to have
been committed"
The ladies turned pale. but the stranger
did his best to reassurs them.
mot that / think there 10 the slight est
danger at present." be resumed; "only when
QUE is responsible for the safety of ladies'
you know, such thing as pistol in reach
would materially add TO ones confidence.
"Your principles, my friend" addressing
the Quaker, IL presume are as much oppos-
ed to carving as to using carnal weapons"
"Yea," was the response.
| "Iisvs the villains murdered any Of their
victims 2" the elderly lady nervously in
quired.
"Or have they contentsd themselves With
plunderiugi" added the younger, in tim
orous voice.
Decidedly tho latter" the amiable gen
t'eman FASTENED to give assurance; "sud as
We are nooe Of US prepared to offer resist
ance in case Of attack, nothing worse than
robbery can befali u.s."
Then, after blaming his thought!sssness
10 having unnecessarily introduced a disa-
grsesble subject, The gentleman quite excel
led himself in efforls to raise the spirits Of
the company, and succeeded 80 we'll by the
time night set 10 that all had quite forgot
ten, or only remembered their fears 10
laugh at them.
Our genial companion fairly talked him
self hoarse. Psrceving which, he took
from his pocket package Of newly invent.
ed cough CANDY and after passing II first to
the ladies. he helped himself to the balance,
and tossed the paper out Of the window.
lie was 10 the midst Of high encomium
on the new nostrum, more than half the
efficacy Of which, he insisted depended on
its being taken by suction, when a sbril
whistle was heard, and almost Immediately
the coach stopped, while two faces, hidsous.
ly blackene ed, presented themselves, one at
each window.
"Sorry 10 trouble you," said the man on
the right. acknowledging with a bow two
iadyliks screams from the back seat; "but
business is business, and ours will soon bs
over. if things 60 smoothly"
"Of course, gentlemen, you will spare, as
far as may be con sis,ent with your disagree.
able duty, the feelings Of those ladies'" ap-
psasd the polite passenger in his bandsst
maoner.
"Ob certainly, they shall be first attend
ed to, and shall not be required to leave
their places. or submit to search, unless
their conduct renders it necessary.
"And now. ladies'" continued the robber,
the barrel Of bis pistol cleaning in the fight
of the coach lamp, "be so good as to pass
out your purses, watches and such other
triuksts as may be accessible without too
much trouble"
The ladies came down handsomely, and
were no further molsstsd. '' e.'
| One by one, the rest Of US were compelled
to get out. the middle-aged gsntleman's
turn coming first He submitted with
winning grace, and vas robbed like very
| Cbester6eld. f.eg el H 1850 # sa
My own affair, like the sum lost. was
scarcely worth mentioning. The Qusker's
turn came next. he quietly handed over
bis pocket>book aud watch, and when asked
il hs bse any other vaIusbss. said MAY"
A Quaksrs word is good even among
thieves; so, after basty good night, the
robbsr thrust bis pistol into bis pocket, and
with bis two compa oons, one Of whom had
held the rsins Of the leaders, was about ia.
king bis departure.
'Stop!' exclaimed the Quaker ia a tone
more Of command than request. .ros
Stop what for I" returned the other 10
evident surprise. 1tf t...-.
For At least too good rsasons," was the
reply. empha'izsd With couple Of dsrrin-
gers cooked and presented.
Help }! shouted the robbsr. e se
'Stop! the Quaker again exclaimed, and
II one Of thy sinful companions advances a
step TO Thy relief. the spirit will surely move
me TO blow thy brains OUT %
The robbsr At the opposite window. and
tbs one at the leaders hsads. thought Is .
L az