Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-01-08
How He MADE HIS MONEY

~ How He MADE His MONEY. The follow
ing conversation is reported as having takcr
place in lhe barber shop attached to one O.
our }alpSsf ez tgs o9sE Day First
dis Mt. Rosschilds, what jes' died, wal
I worth TO- hundred million dollars" Sec
ond man and brother (strapping razor)-
'Who" First-''Mr. Rosschilds." Sec
ond-"How much was he WORT, did you say
First---'Fo' hundred million dollars" Sec
ond--- Goshamighty! He nus had gooc
districk.' First---"Good distriek! What
you mean ?" Second---I mean good districk
OATS what I mean. Is'pose he was a wits.
ky inspector; else how could he make SC
much money!"
''Why Sambo how black you are said a
gentleman the other day to a negro waiter
at hotel" How in the name of wonder
did you get SO black ~
"Why, look here, massa, de reason am
dis-de day dis here child was born dere
was clipse."
Ebony received shilling for his satisfac-
tory explanation, and after grinning thanks
continued:
II tell you what it is massa,. dis niger
may be black, but he amt green. no how"
"Sonny, do you love me any,"
"Oh, don't thought
"What for?"
Because you always bring me candy when
you como to see sissy Jane. Give me some
more.
"And what does sissy Jane love me for?"
"Oh, cause you take her to concerts, and
give her SO many nice things. She says,
80 long as you are fool enough to bring her
shawls and bonnets, she won't sack you. no
how. Now give me some more candy"
N. B.-Children and fools tell the truth |
A sharp student was called up by the
worthy professor of celebrated college, and
asked the question; ''Can man see with
out eyes p "Yes, sir" was the prompt an.
swer '.How, sir" cried the amazed profess
sor, can a man see without eyes Pray sir,
how do you make that out ?" He can see
with one, STRIP replied the ready-witted
youth and the whole class shouted with de-
light at the triumph over metaphysics.
CONSOLATION What is your consola-
ton in life and death ~ asked clergyman
of young Miss in Bible.elass that he was
catechismg.
The young lady blushed and hesitated.
evil you not tell NE p urged the cler-
gyman.
II don't want to tell his name," said the
ingenious girl, ''but I've no objection to
to11iDp vo,1 Vuhora ha liroo
Old DIR. A-was a quack, and very
ignorant one. On one occasion he was called
by mistake to attend council of physicians
in a critical case. After considerable dis
cussion, the opinion was expressed by one
that the patient was eonvalescent When
it came to DR.. As turn to speak; "Con-
valescent !" said he ''why that's nothing
serious I have cured eonyalescence in twen-
ty-four hours"
A young lady who teaches music in an
academy in Western New York, sent an Or
der to publisher recently, in which she had |
spelled the words very poorly. She apollo
gi1ed by adding postscript, as follows -
"You must exskews this letter as I pla bi
noats but spell bi ear"
AN INCIDENT IN RAILWAY Mons
ter-"rm afraid I'm sitting on your crino-
line, ma'am." Afable young lady-"Oh,
never mind sir, it's of no consequence; YOU
can't hurt it." Monstcr-ssNo ma'am: It's
not that; but the COMPOUNDED thing hurts
me-"
A young lady having promised her grand
ma that she would never marry certain fell
low ''on the face Of the earth. " repaired with
him, after the old lady died, to the NAM
moth cave of Kentucky, and was married
under ground.
A gent out West was invitet to take game
Of poker, buthe refused, saying: "No I
thankec, I,played poker all one summer, and
had to wear nankeen pants all next winter;
have no taste for that amusement SINCE