The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-10-22
spare Lhses.
Adam wa. married ON his wedding Eve.

Adam was married on his wedding Eve.
The editorial phrase, Eve trust" Is abOus
played out
Punch knows man too lazy to labor under
an impression
A Wisconsin girl has swallowed forty percus.
sion caps. She viii make noise IN the woriu
some time.
Horace Greeley says. II there is anything Of
which a city or town should be proud. it Is .
good local newspaper.
Why Is lawyer like one that is long getting
sseepl Because he lies first on one side and
then on the other.
There are lots Of folks in the world who. rath-
or than not find any fault at oil, wouldn't hes-
tate to say TO an angleworm that his tail was al
together too long for his body.
.ssIy son." said man Of doubtful morals,
puttine his hand on the bead Of young ur-
chin, al believe Satan has got hold Of you. ="
81 believe so too" was the urchn's reply.
After rolling all night in your berth at sea,
till you are miserably sick, II is irritating to
have steward open the door in the morning.
and ask If you will have fresh roll for break
fast.
'Dad, have you been to the Museum ?" said
ten-year-old boy. "No, my son." "well,
20. aud mention my name 10 the doorkeeper,
and he'll take you round and show you every
thing"
A little boy having broken his rocking-horsc
the day il was bought, his mamma began to
scold. when he silenced her cnquring; "What
is the good Of boss till it's broker"
rebuke was given by Bishop Wilson TO q
clergyman who begged him TO preach against
the Wesleyan doctrine that the Christian can
reach perfection" "Are'we In much danger
OF that" asked the Bishop.
jenkins is not going to do anything more in
conundrums. He recently asked his wife the
difference between his head and a hogshead, and
she says there is none. He says that Is not the
right answer.
A quaint writer says: ~ have seen women
90 delicate that they were afraid 10 ride for fear
Of the horse running away; afraid to walk for
fear the dew might fall; afraid to sail for fear
the boat might upset; but | never saw one
afraid 10 be married. which Is more riskful than
all the others put together.
A gentleman travelling in California encoun-
tered panther. Of which he subsequently,
wrote as follows al looked at him long enough
TO note his brown and glossy coat, his big glar-
ing eyes, his broad, well-leyeloped murrle, and
his capacious jaws, when both Of US LEFT the
spot. and, | am pleased to say, in opposite d.
rections."
A lady whose deceased husband had not en-
ioyed a continuous flow Of felicity during life,
. was asked at seanee night IL she would
like communication from his spirit. al be-
lieye not" she said, ''if he's got no more spirit
In the other world than he had in this, II ~ not
worth bothcrinS about"
The first chapter in n western novel has the
following:-"All Of n sudden the fair girl con-
tinued TO sit on the sand, gazing upon the briny
deep, ON whose heaying bosom the tall ships
went merrily by, freighted-ahl who can tell
how much Of JOY and sorrow, and pine lumber,
and emigramts, and hopes and salt fish,"
Daniel Webster wrote, after continued provo
cation. to the editor Of newspaper which re
ferrcd to his private affairs, and especially to his
not paying his debts. He said. Substantially
at Is true that have not always paid my
debts punctually, and that owe money. One
cause Of this Is that have not pressed those
for payment who owe me. AS an instance OF
this l enclose your fathers note made to me
thirty years ago for money let him to educate
his boys"