Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-11-20
Humorous.

The following story is good because it is true
We had it from the lips of good woman, who
was told it by the principal actor herself:
" Ven first come to Fiadelfy to serve 7 was
very uncivil, said Katrina, now a tidy servant
IN respectable family; @ laugh mooch and
feel ashamed to remember behave ven know
so little. Shon, tat was my beau-Shon. he
took me to that teater one night, ven | been in
Flladelfy but tree weeks. We sits in te gallery
and we not see goot, and Shon said he would
get better seat. So he put his leg round der
post, and shlides down nit der pit, and looks up
and calls out: Katrine katrine COON down
tlsh good place here = and | lean over, and
said :; How can | COON down, Shon? And
he said 'Shust shlide down. So | put my
legs round der pillar and shides down Dom
der! how the people langh Dey laugh so dey
play no more dat night upon te stage Every
body laugh and yell, and whistle all over der
house. vas much ashamed den, tough knew
not any harm. But now l plushes red every
time thinks nit it,"
What do you come here after ?" inquired
Miss Susan Nipper of bachelor friend, who
made her a call when the rest of the people had
gone out. He came to borrow matches, he
meekly replied Z" Matches that's a likely
story Why don't you make a match? know
what you came for - exclaimed the delighted
miss as she crowded the old bachelor into a
corner; "you came to kiss and hug me al
most to death, but you shan't - without you
sre the strongest, and everybody knows you
are"
The other day young lady stepped into
well-known establishment on Broadway, and in-
quired of handsome clerk "Sir, have you any
mouse colored gloves ?" " Mouse colored.
MissY' "Yes; sort of gray-the color of your
drawers" meaning the store drawers, which
were painted gray. ''My drawers, Miss2 ejac-
ulated the young man, glancing down at his
dress to see that everything was right and tight.
"My drawers, Miss? why don't wear any
gentleman seated with other persons in
the room where country girl sat upright and
utterly silent. Silence, indeed, fell upon the
entire party and the gentleman first alluded to
said, in what he Supposed to be almost in
audible tone: ''Awful pause" 81 guess, sir, y
exclaimed the indignant country girl, jun ping
up, "you'd have awful paws too if you had to
do all the scrubbing that do p
young lady who was contemplating matri.
mony was one morning handed testament by
her father, with the leaf turned down at the fol
lowing passage: Z" He who giveth in marriage
doeth well, but he who giveth not in marriage
doeth better" She Immediately returned il
with the following reply written underneath
Dear father, | am content to do we'll lei
those do better who cam
The Rev. DR.. Mckinney, an aged Presbyte
rian, one of the prosecutors of Mr.. Linn in tht
recent trial ut Pittsburg, is reported to have ut
teTeu Tue IollOWlnB IN his argument: - Ht
knew from pleasant experience, forty years ago
that young ladies would struggle even wher
they did not object to being kissed They strug
gled that there might be more hugging done"
Speaking of a newly invented self heating
Sleigh an exchange says .'The man who can
not keep warm and comfortable while taking
sleigh ride with a good-looking girl, should g
to carpenter and get converted into a refrger
ator without loss of time. Such a man is dis
grace to his
bashful young man escorted home an equal,
bashfu young lady. AS they approached th
dwelling of the damsel she said entreatingly
ezekiel, now don't tell any body that you beau Z
home Sary," said he, emphatcally
''don't you mind am as much ashamed of i
as you are.''
A country girl rode into New Albany, Indiana
to do some shopping. When the clerk asked
there was anything else be could do for her, h
was amazed by the reply. 80 no, sir; unles
you will be kind enough to 60 out and milk tn
old mare, for rode her from home without tn
colt.''
The papers relate an anecdote of beautiful
young lady, who had become blind, having re
covered her sight after marriage. Whereupo
ohooKs wickedly observes that it is no uncom
mon thing for people to have their eyes opene
by matrimony
horticulture IS beginning to receive attention
IN iowa. The keokuk Gate Cny says: g Mr.
nose married Miss Violet at Winterset, las
week There is flower bed. That rose ma
reasonably expect to become a poppy in time
A man who married particularly plump spec
imen OF womankind, being a bit of wag toll
ner o2e day that she filled the measure of hi
matrimonial JOY full, for she was beauti.full
duti-full and an arm-ful.
one OF the gentler sex says that the heaven o
the strong minded woman is "where button
grow 10 their proper places, and where me,
cease bothering and needles are at rest.n
young woman being asked by pol;,;cia
which party she was in favor of, replied that sb
was in favor of a wedding party
In the extra polite circle the night mare ;
now termed . the nocturnal horse of the fem
3nins gender"