The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1869-01-21
Where the Laugh Comes In.

A number of elegant and refined young
gentlemen in Missouri are advertising for
situations as sons in law in wealthy fami-
lies,
A Kentuckiau advertises for the return
of several valuable articles given away
when whisky made him feel rich,
One of the compOsitors of the Toledo
Blade having married very delicate la
dy, the local says, in a complimentary no
tice, "Joe never did shirk lean take"
The girls of Northampton have been
sending bachelor editor boquet of tan
sy and wormwood. He says he don't care
he'd rather smell that than matrimony,
A Snowman advertises that among his
curiOsities is the celebrated difference
which has been so often split by bargain.
makers. He says he has both halves of it.
The editor of Western Democratic
paper says "To the many inquisitive per-
sons who want to know how far we are 20
ing up Salt River we make the general
reply, 'Yuba DAM"
Frenchmen cannot pronounce ''ship."
1t sounds "sheep" in their mouths. See
ing an iron-clad, one of them said to
boy, SIS dish war sheepW "No," said
the boy, "it's RAM"
In reply to a young writer who wishes
to know which magazine would give the
highest position quickest, the Pittsburg
Express says, powder magazine, if you
contribute fiery article.
An editor, describing a church in Min
nesota, says: "No velvet cushions in our
church. Wesdon't go in for style. The
fattest person has the softest seat and
takes it out at the close of the services.
A conductor of newspaper, speaking
of cOtemporary, says: "He was former
ly member of Congress, but rapidly
rose until he obtained respectable po-
sition as editor-a noble example of per-
severance under depressing circumstances"
Scene in printing Office which adver.
tised for girls to set type: Enter young
woman-"Do you want to employ any
one to print, sirl | saw your advertise
ment." "Can you set up we'll, ma'am 2"
Young lady bushes, says she hasn't had
beau yet, but expects she could if it was
necessary.
els your father at home :" inquired
man ola little girl at the door. "Is your
name Bill?" "Some people call me so,"
he replied "Then he's not at home, for
| heard him tell John if any bills came
to say he was not at home"
Rats cannot live in Alaska because
their holes freeze up solid as fast as they
dig them. Naturally ihe rats get dis
couraged, At St. Thomas the earth
quakes turn their holes wrong side out
forty-three times minute. This Sarpris-
es them and they leave ON the first boat.
"Gentlemen," said candidate in the
West, after having given his views on the
Constitution and the Monroe Doctrine,
"gentlemen," and he put his hand on the
region of his heart, t'these are my senti-
ments-the sentiments, gentlemen, of an
honest man-aye of an honest politician,
but, gentlemen and fellow-citizens, if they
don't suit you they can be altered"
A Yankee farmer got q lot Of rats and
shat them up in single cage, They de-
voured one another till only one was left,
He turned this one loose, when excited by
the blood of his fellow rats, and having
become genuine cannibal, it killed and
eat all the rats on the place.
"Ma, if | should die and 60 to heaven,
would l wear my moire antique dress 2"
"No, my love; we can scarcely suppose
we shall wear the attire of this world in
the next" "Then, ma, how would the
angels know | belonged to the first soci-
ETY. 7" 1t was difficult for the child to
make mas notions of theology and fash
ion blend.
Did you ever know tradesman call
ing for his account who didn't have bill
to take up on Friday : 4
Didyou ever know lQagins-houso
mistress who would own to bugs7
Did you ever knoW man who didn't
think he could poke the fire better than
you couldl -. S7esF