davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
A Railroad Problem How
Many Trains.


Ike Bromley tells the following stO--
ry Of Pacific Railroad experience in
the Hartford Post:
For the present I shall drop the Pa
cific road; recurring to it by and by
perhaps, for the purpose of a cOmpaFi-
son between the journey to California
overland and the voyage thither by
sea. But before dismissing it let me
tell you a problem with which we har-
rOwed up our souls on the way.
"SuppOse," said Governor Haw-
ley, "there is one train a day each
way over the Pacific road-we start
from Omaha and are five days on the
passage-hOw many trains DO we pass
on the way?"
Kellogg trumped his partners trick
and answered very promptly, Give"
Scudder, in thoughtful way, play
ed the left bower and remarked
Let's see-'twould be six, wouldn't
it? Oh, no, four" ...
"Why, five, Of course-that's plain
enough, said Edgar Wells, gathering
up the cards for new deal.
Charley and Frank went to work
to figure it out by Algebra, and came
very near proving that we didn't pass
any train at all; Ike was putting hard
questions to a Mormon passenger, and
l, not being strong on the mathemat-
les, was sticking like a brother 10
Sam Bowl s's Pacific Railroad Open"
and taking no hand in the ciphering
"HOld on said Kellogg; Il was
wrOng-it's six, for there's the one that
starts from Sacramento the same morn
ing that-nO, it don't-yes, it does
why it mU-t lie FIVE, ,OfcOurse--I pas p"
"One train a day, five days, makes
five trains, of course. That's NY
trick, " said Welles.
"Well, I don't know about that, "
said Scudder; "we've passed two trains
to day"
Then they went to work at it, and
mulled over it, and ciphered on it till
finally in reply to somebody's "WelI,
how many trains do we pass p the
IGOvernOr said Ten"
At first they didn't believe it, bat
when it was explained, it seemed just
as easy as it was for those old mug
wumps in Spain to set the egg on end,
latter Columbus had shown them how.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Advertising.

An experienced business man tells
how to make money fast and honestly:
According to the character and extent
of your business, set aside a liberal per-
centage for advertising, and do not
hesitate. Keep yourself Increasingly
before the public; and it matters not
what business Of utility you may be
engaged in, for, if intelligendy and
industriOusly pursued, a fortune will
be the result,
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Some vandal boys in Cincinnati
stole the inside part from an organ
grinders machine sometime since, and
being deaf, the poor fellow ground
away as jolly as ever the next morn
ing, in blissful ignorance of what had
happened.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Under a new law of last winter in
dictments found by Grand Juries are
to be kept secret until such time as
those accused by these er parte cOun-
ellis are arrested, held to bail, or COM
mitted to prison.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Never let your honest convictions
be laughed down. Be ever ready to
give respectful attention to argument.
Treat ridlcule and dogmatic assertion
with the contempt they deserve.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

An aged spinster was wont to con-
sole herself for past disappointments
by the following reflection. If she
had been married and had a baby and
the poor thing had crawlrd into the
oven and burnt itself to death, what
horrible thing that would have been!
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

An inspection of the death records
of Massachusetts, for the last past twen-
ty-five years, shows that brain work
does not shorten life. The records ex-
hibit the fact that bankers, merchants,
clergymen, judges, lawyers, physicians
and professors live longer than the av-
erage of all classes of occupations, and
very much longer than labOrers or iu-
active mechanics working in shops. A
healthy mind in healthy body is CD
pable of an almost unlimited amount
of labor without injury; but if the body
is broken down by excess or neglect,
the mind suffers with it, and both fall
together.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

A member of church in Vermont,
desiring ga man from the Lord, pray
ed in this wise: "Send us not an old
man in his dOtage, nor young man
in his goslinghoOd, but q man with all
the modern improvements"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

= young gentleman, four years old, re-
Gently threw his maternal relative into a
tit OF admiration 10y the following speech /:
IL like most all kinds of cake-pound
cake, sponge cake and jelly cake-but 1
don't like stomach-ache."
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Conundrums.

Wbv Is a room f1lI of married people like an empty
roo,n > Because there is not single person IN It
Why il inndy like Venison STEAK Because ne
81, hit Of buck. .,
Wbv is an overloaded gun like an Office holder
Rac,U,s il kicks nightly when discharged.
Wby are ,ke< ike nuts? Because the dryer they
are the better they crack.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Josh Billings defines "thurrer-bred
biziness man" as "wun that knows enutf
about steelin' so't there kant ennvhody
steel from him, and enough about law so
that he can do his steelin' legally"
The most suitable window for single
lady when on the lOOkout-A bow.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
SEN Sc.

WYI ANTED-AGENTS $3.50 per month to sell the
w only GENUINE IMPHOVED COMMON SENSE
FAMILY SEWING n ACHINE. Price only SIS. Great
inducements to Agents This is the most popular
Sewing Machine of the day-makes the famous Elas
tic Lock SiiTch"-will do any kind at wo that can
e done on nnv Machine-lOO 600 sold aud the demand
constantly Increasing. Now II the time TO take an
Agency Send for circulars. Bz5- Beware Of nfring
ers ga Address SECOMB & CO., BOstOu, Mass,
pifrsi,urp pa ar Llufs, Mo.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

An Irish gentleman having a small pic
ture room, several persons desired to see
i t at the ssme time. "Faith, gentlemen, >
said he, "if you all go in, it will not hold
half of you"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

FRATRICIDE B. F. Thompson, a
young man % years Of age, killed his
older brother in a quarrel Friday be-
fore last, about two miles from COium-
bus. The murderer was arrested.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

In Cork, the crier of the court, anxious
to disperse the crowd around the bar, ex-
claimed: "AlI ye blackguards that isn't
lawyers, quit the court!"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

The names of common drunkards
are posted up in Galesburg, Michigan,
and saloons forbidden TO furnish th,m
liUuOr,
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Lovers Privilege-It is the privilege OF
the lover to be at one and the same time
in two situations. When beside his sweet
heart he is also beside himself.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Let the youth who stands with a
glass of liquor in his hand consider
which he had better throw awuy-the
Iiuuor or himself.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

"Who took care Of the babies ?" artfully
inquired little girl, on hearing her moth
or say that all people were once children.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

"Look ont for paint as the girl said
when the man about town Went to kiss
her last week.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

We learn from the ChillicOthe GIz-
cite, that S. A. Fitch, Esq, formerly
one of the proprietOrs of the Gazette,
has recently bought paper in Chet-
ODa Kansas.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
New Advertisements.
SS 8 s 8 s 8 9 8

TO THE WORKING CLASs.-We are now prepared
to furnish all Glasses with constant employment at
home the whole ct the time for the spare momentS
Business new light and profitable. Persons of either
eek easily from soc, s. per evening, and pro-
portirnal hy devUng their whole time t0 the bnsl-
ness Bows aud girls nearly much a men. That
all who this nutire may send their address, and test
the business make this unparalleled otter To such
as are we'll satisfied will send 81 to pay Tor the
trouble OF writing. Full particulars, valuable sam
pls which will do To- canmt work on, aud cty OF
The People Literary COmpGHiOH Of the largest aud
best family newspapers pubiiahed-Al sent ire hy
mail Reader If you want permanent, profitable wOrk,
address C ALLEN CO. Augusta, Maine.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

"Pa, ." said little boy the other day
'how can the sea run when it is all tide?"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Youths Department.
ArithmeticaI Problem.

aB-orginai Enigras, Charades, Problems, ETC., are
specially solicited.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

A little girl wanted to say that she
had a fan, but had forgotten the name; 50
she described it as ga thing to brush the
warm off you with"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Charade

without bride or a saddle,
Across thing I ride a-straddlo;
And those | ride, by help Of ne,
Though almost blind, are made to see'
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

A Hartford four-year old saw his
parents preparing for church, and ie
asked them to take him along wi h
them. He was told that he was too
little and must wait till he should grow
bigger. "Well," he returned, 'yOu'd
better take me now, for whon 1 get
bigger 1 may not want to CO." The
parents saw the point he was taken.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

"I know every rUck on this cOast," said
an Irish pilot. At that moment the ship
struck, when he exclaimed, "aHd that's
one of them :"
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Messrs Lippincott BakeweIl, Pittsburg, Pa.
Gents:-We have been using your make OF Gang
Saws in our MILL and find them, in point Of quality
suuerior 10 any We have ever used. Yours, &c
SHAW, BLANCHARD E co.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

"venus her myrtle, Phuhus has his bays;
Tea both exceis, which she voucnsafes to praise.
The best Of qHesa,, aud hest of herbs, owe
To that bold nation, which the way did show
To the fair region where the sun does rise,
Whose rich productions so justly rize.
The muses. friend, tea, does our fancy aid,
R.press those vapors which the head invade,
And keeps that palace OF the soul serene.
Fit, on her h-iay, to salute the queen
The eulOgies pronounced on his fl,
vorite beverage by DR.. johnson are
too well known to be repeated here !;
and the commpndatOry inscription of
the Emperor Kien Long, to a Euro
ppan taste at least, is somewhat too
dull, unless his Majrsty's teapot has
been shamefulIy translated. For my
own part, though l have the highest
respect fOr-this genial drink, which is
warm to the cold, and cooling to the
warm, confess, as Montaigne would
have said, that prefer coffee-partic-
ularly in my political capacity:
Coffee, that makes the politician wise,
To see through all things with his half-shut eyes"
There is something in it, think,
more lively and at the same time
more substantial. Besides, I never
see it but it reminds me of the Turks
and their Arabian tales-an assOcia-
ton infinitely preferable to any Chi
nese ideas; and like the king who put
his head into the tub, l am transport
ell into distant lands the moment /
dip into the coffee cup-at one min
ute ranging the valleys with Sinbad,
at another encOuntering the fairies on
the wing by moonlight; at third ex-
pIOring the haunts of the cursed
Maugraphy, or wrapt into the silence
Of that delicious solitude from which
Prince Agib was carried by the fatal
horse. Then, if 1 wish to pOeticiz,
upon it at home, there is Belinda, witt
her sylphs, drinking it in such state
as nothing but poetry can supply:
For loi the board with cups and spoons is crowned
The berries crackle, and the mill turns round:
IN shining altars ofjapan they raise
rhe silver lamp; the fiery spirits blaze;
from silver spouts the greateful liquors glide,
And Chinas earth receives the smoking tide:
Vt once they crafty the scent and taste,
Nud frequent cups prolOug the rich repast.
straight hover round the fair her airy band;
some, as she sipp'd, the fuming liquor fanu'di
! some o'er her lap their careful plumes displaydr
trembling aud conscious of the rich brocade."
It must be acknowledged, however
THAT the general association of ideas
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

The Indian Peace Commission, con-
sisting chiefly of Quakers, report to the
that we can, without
doubt, have permanent peace with
the Indians if we treat them fairly.
The Commissioners say that honesty,
and not war, is what is wanted. They
state that the black savages have been
habitually swindled out of their annu-
tiles by the white ones, and that trea-
ties with them have been regularly vi
olated. By insufferable mistreatment
our officials, sent among them by the
Government, provoke their wild ma
lures to retaliation and outrage, and then
war is waged against them, resulting
in a deplorable amount of blOOdshed
and all sorts Of atrocities on both SIDES,
and the most preposterOus pecuniary
expenditures on ours.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

A dead reckoning Calculating ones fu,
neral expenses.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Where 70 find nlIlkmen-At the water
ing places.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

man hought twelve herriRgs for twelve cents. For
some Of them he pail two cents apiece Tor some one
t.ifs cent arirce aud for The Oue-fOurth Of Il
.ent apiece How many did he buy At each price
The following will puzzle more than one: Write
he figures tweys thousand twelve hundrei and
r..aI
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Father UyacinGhe Still a CathO

Father IIyacinGhe Still a CathO
lie
Though expelled from the priesthood
by the Pope, it appears that Father
Hyacinthe still adheres to his Church.
He has written a letter to Rev. Mr..
Bacon, in which is contained the fol
lowing sentence:
Il remain faithful to my church,
and if I have lifted up my protest
against the excesses which dishOnOr
it, and seem bent on its ruin, you may
measure the intensity Of my love for
it by the bitterness Ofmy lamentatiOn.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

Answer to Enigma in last weeks news: M-mmo'l
Tree Grove.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

For the Delicate skin OF ladies o. Children.
SULD BY AL DKUGGISCS.
FUVHE MAGIC COMB VisI change any clUred hair or
beard 10 a permaurut Black or brown. One CONT
sent by snail 81 Fer -ae 10y Merchants Druggists
generally. Address Magic Comb Co Springfield, Mass
S75 tO S2(l0 per Month puid to Ag"Els' ,nlary
PtO W R@OO or commission, to sell our Patent
White Wir- Clothes Lines Address Hudson River Wire
Works, 70 Wm. st., NY, Chicago, Richmond OF
Memphis.
cTTA0 How MADE IT IN SIX MONTHS. Sc
y L EOcret and sample mailed free. J FHhaW N I.
Cox DAYS. new articles for Agents. Samples
PAO free. II. SHAW, Alfred, Maine.
I2s IN nra ssi 10 Every T%s3 %ss
sight. No risk. Profits large. Satisfaction guartn-
teed. Agents wanted every where. Addi ess LnUTHER
4 TYSON. M ln4 FOurth Ave, Pittshurg Pa
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

A clean shirt is one Of woman's best
gifts to man.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

FEAEt"EEfb B6 lis H'bA6t LID.
Ignorance Exposed! FalIacles Unmasked
Highly important 70 both sexes married. and single,
in health aud diseased DR.. LarmOnts, Paris, London
and New York Medical Adviser and Marriage Gntde.
sIst edition. Nearly 500 pages aud 100 EngravinEs,
Weakness, ImpotenCy, Inflammation OF Bladder, Old
Ulcers, Piles. Brights Di-ease, &C &c Elaborate
treatment with recipes and certificates Of Price
81 Mailed free Offices for treatment, S96 Broadway
New York. Direct ietters-BOX S44.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
Free to book Agents.

\ W a9SSAe -
We will send a hand-one prospectus OF our NEW IL
Illustrated FAMILY BlRLE to aUv hook agent,
free uf charge Address NATIONAL PUBLISHING
60 Phil .de phiH Pa ''h iIS-. "rSt. Louis Mo
= GENIS WANTED -fuE iiow IT, MAKE THE FARM
a PAY A sure, safe aud practical Guide so every
Farmer StOck Raiser, Gardener and Fruit CRltntist
By this hsrk yearly profits may he d0ub -, lana m
creased la value ,iO m;de rich, aud honest IA
uor rewarded. Eagiish and Gsm Every body buys
g. 6l sold in lev Townships. Hundreds Ia single
township Agents fiud IL" hotter AOrk during tile
Fall d WlnIar Farmers aud their each make
SIUO per ulol,lk SeLn Tor circular Addrrs<
ZEIGLER, MCCURnY co,
Cii.,iuti,t,I, Ohio or Ehi~sg'. Ills.
4 E.0METHING ~ fbe Sidr far EcesyJDdy STAR IN
- TIE " Is r, 1872 An page Uniyersalist lamty
weekly, giving curreut secular news. edited by eV-
DR. Williamson 4 J. ) Cantwrll. 81 30 per year IN
MI vance Pr -mium zuhscribvrs. send IoF
spe.iInen Address WILLIAMSON & CANTWELL,
Cinci;naii- Ohio
JAR SPANGLED BANNER III sIiii waves,
- better THAI ever. Rich Rare, Racy Lrdger
size 40 cnIumns Wit, Humor, Fuu aud Hnmhugs
exrosed Elrgant 50 steel plate "Evangeiine' gratis
10 eUerg sulzcrar.t4Riy Is cents TOR whole y, al
Steei late FREE. Specimens cts. Addiess BAN
NER ui.s all n
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09
NO BOOK PUBLISHED THAT SELLS so RAPIDLY

In n > sold 227 in Is days; Agent in Mass snId
$50 m one week; Agent in Conn. sold SOi in one
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

S6EH UNTEK'S GUIDE."-.TnE REAL Original
q OOO sold. Tells how to hunt, trap and
catch ALL aHinaIs from mink 10 bear SO tanning
secrets. g pages we'll bound. Every boy needs It
Il ,riU PAY Money refunded If not satisfied. Only
25 cts post paid. Address HUNTER co. Publish
ers Hinsdale, n II
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

HOLIDAY JOURNAL FOR 1870.
TNONTAINING a Fairy Story for Christmas, Plays,
q Puzzles and Wonders. lG large pages, illustrated
Sent free on receipt Of cent stamp for postage
AnAl-S 3 co. q Ernmf.lL Strict. B1-ton. Ma-s
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

GQuestO il Paradise,
Pru dolce, che fra Ia, que, fra I'arena
In Ciel SEA Il Sirens"
ITassO-Rim0 AMBROSE.
''EIpre, here is found
-wrptrr Paradise Of sound
Than where the Sirens take their summer stands
AmOug he breathing waters and glib sands
Bright fires and joyous faces and it
is no easy thing for philosophy to say
good night! But health must be en-
i0yed or nothing will be enjoyed, and
the charm should be broken at Il reas-
enable hour.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1869-12-09

'Anu lena Q bI"p 5OUIIIVII5 IHe VHI7 NJ q 5I MI.
This is the finished evening; this
the quicllener at once and the calmer
of tired thought; this the spot where
our better spirits wait to exalt and en-
liven us, when the daily and vulgar
ones have discharged their duty!
The Carson daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1865-1870, 1869-01-03
Dissolution of Partnership

Joseph HEBERT AND MlRCELLE DORE
81 have this day dissolved partnership BY mutual
consent, and the Arm will now exist under the
.auas Of CARDINAL 1 HEBERT in the business
Il Saloon Keeping on Carson street. Carson City,
Nevada.
December -, l8ce. d90-1m
The Carson daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1865-1870, 1869-01-03

~ We shail be pieased Ia zee Our frsesls 81
any time. JAMES N. GRAY, the srcomc1ssiAS
and polite Bas Keeper always In sttsndsses. -
Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1869-08-25

Oh the rain the grateful rain. Swelier.
ing in the torrid term of the past three
or four days-the hottest here in the
memory of the Oldest inhabitant-the
parched and sweat-oozing citizens of Nash.
vile, about P. NJ. yesterday, were relieT
ed to see the sun pass behind a cloud
Steadily it grew blacker, and anon came a
few cooling gusts. By nightfall, the
forked lightnings corruscated in the lurid
sky, and the thunder rumbled beneath the
wheels of the storm kings chariot as it
trundled through the heavens. But it
didn't rain much-a sprinkle of brief
half hour, and then Luna struggled
through the dispensing clouds, and the
promise at this hour Oh p. NJ is of an.
other coppery sky tomorrow, and such a
day as Dickens opens "Little Dorrit"
with in MarsAillea