Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1869-09-15

/ mark. "Iell est, tu CjC, Is anything
/ but applicable to this case, since VIII
/ liam Tell never had any life at all, but
( was a myth, rs purG-if not as simple as
/ that other William immOrtalized by
/ Madam Rachel.
4 The following facts, at least, are now
admitted by all historians:
/ I Gessler was not a tyrannical Cover
nor.
/ ,. There never was Governor of that
name.
/ 5. Tells Father-in-law was not mall
/ treated.
/ t. He had no FatheT-in-law.
! ), The Swiss Revolution was not led
( 10y Tell.
6. Tell never existed at all.
/ If this is not enough, let us critically
/ examine the well known legend and we
shall see that it will not stand the test.
William Tells fatheT-in-law, an aged
man having incurred the resentment of
the Government, was baTbarOusly pun
/ ished by him.
/ "Tell resolved Oh revenge. Gessler,
/ to humiliate the disaffected Swiss, or
dered the ducal cap of Austria to be
placed on 4 pole -n
! Very unlikely that Pole should be
made Duke Of Austria. What was the
name of the Pole, and how many of
/ his descendants are living?
"He commanded all who passed by
/ to stop and bow to it."
How could they stop and bow to it
| if they passed by? Tell was evidently
unable or unwilling to undertake the
/ feat; so he was taken into custody, and
! then
"Gessler tyrannically commanded
him to shoot an apple off his sons
head"
Surely this was not very tyrannical.
1t was an easy task to shoot an apple oB
his head, the difficulty was to shoot it
when it was on his head, without injur-
ing him. However it is recorded that
William successfully performed the Op-
Grafton, and cleft to the core Imme-
diately-
"There was a General Shout"
What further proof have we of the
existence of an Austrian General of that
name, and what had he to do with the
affair?
'And Tell, to be satisfaction of all
was about TO be set free, when Gessler
noticed he had a second arrow, i'm his
| belta He asked what it was for, and
/ Tell replied, 'TO send to thy heart, had
I slain my child"
This was altogether so unnecessary
and dmelOdramatiC reply, and so bowl
Ously intended Though no pun is here]
to produce a Telling and ArrOw-ing eff
| feet, that we don't think it really hap
pGned, much.
The legend then relates that William
/ Tell, being taken in boat to Gessler's
seat of Government, Il storm came min
the middle of the Lake Of Zurich, and
| the Governors followers became instant
! lV reduced to i'm bpcilitV
''Tell who was noted for Il steersman
as well as for an archer" (thG noun
! taineeTs of Switzerland were naturally
perfect i'll navigatiOnl undertook to
steer the vessel; so he was unbound, and
Immediately siezed the tiller'
We imagine the only sort of tillers the
pastoral Tell knew much about were
! tillers Of the soil, however,
"He guided the boat safely ashore.
/ Lauding first, he levelCd his bow and
shot GessIer to the heart"
/ The legend thus COntradiCting itself,
/ for it elsewhere describes the Governor
as
"a tyrant 'rhOSc heart could touch u
"a revolt followed the OppressOrs Ot
/ the country were driven out, and indie
/ pendenCe crowned the efforts of the pa
! tTiOts.n
Being Republicans, it is doubtful
/ whether they cared much about having
anything or anybody crowned in their
country.
| But we think enough has been said to
/ prove that William Tell is entitled to q
first rank as a historical humbug and
make our readers, when they are both
cred about that mythical hero, scOrnfUl-
ly eXcIaim. "DOn't Tell me-"