Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1869-05-27
Woman's Rights.
BY ARTEMUs WARD.

I picht my tent in a small town
in Iniianny one day last season,
& while l was standin at the door
takin money. deppytashen of ladies
cum mp & sed they was members of
the Bunkumville Female Reform &
Wimin's Rites Assooiashun, and they
axed me if they Good go in without
/ payin-
mot exactly" seq 1, "but you can
pay without goin in
Dew you know who we air?" said
one of the wimmin--a tall and fero-
cious lookin critter, with a blue kot-
ton umbrellsr under her arm-"do
you know who we air Sir?"
my impreshun is, sed !, ''from a
kersery view, that you air females"
''We air. Sir" said the feroshus
woman--"we belong to a Society which
believes wimin has rites--which be-
leeves in razin her to her proper speer
-whitch believes she is indowed with
as much mtelleck as man is--whitch
believes she is trampled on and
aboozed-& who will resist henso 4th &
forever the incroachments of proud and
donlineering men,"
Durin her discourse, the exsentric fe-
male GRABBED ME by the cOat-kollor &
was wringing her umbreller wildly over
my he'd. d,- =
II hope, marm, sez Istartiug back,
''that your intensions are honorable?
I'm a lone man hear in strange place.
Besides, I've a wife to hum"
"Yes," cried the female, "& she's a
slave! Doth she never dream of
freedom = doth she meyer think of
THROWN off the yoke of tyrinny &
thinkin & votiu for herself?-Doth she
never think of these eere things?'
Not bein a natral born fool" sed 1,
by this time little riled, 81 kin safely
say that she dothunt.''
80 whot- whotP' screamed the fe-
male, swingin her umbreller in the air.
80 whot is the price that woman pays
for her expeeriunce!'
81 don't know" sez /; "the price
to my show is Is cents pur indi-
vidooal"
''& can't our Sosiety go in free?"
asked the female.
"Not if know it," sed |.
"Crooil, crooil mani" she cried, &
bust into teers.
"Won't you let my darter in?" sed
anuther of the exsentric wimin, taken
me afeckshunately by the hand. 80,
please let my darter in,--shee's a
sweet gushin child of natur."
LET her gush!" roared |, as mad as
| Good stick at their tarnal nonsense;
''lct her gush!" WhereupOn they all
sprung back with the simultaneous OBJ
servashun that l was Beest.
"My female friends" sed l, |'be4
you leeve, Pve few remarks to re-
mark; wa them well. The female wo
man is tue of the greatest institooshuns
of which this land can boste. Its on
possible to get along without her. Had
there been no female wimin in the
world, | should scarcely be here with
my unparaled show on this occashun.
She is good in sickness good in we'll
ness-good all the time; 0, woman, wo-
man, womanr l cried, my feelins
worked up to hi poetick pitch, ''you
air angel when you behave yourself;
but when you take off your proper
apparel & metty forically speaker y
get into pantyloons--when you desert
your fresides, & with your heds full
of wimin's rites noshens go round like
roarin lyons. seekin whom you may de-
your someboddy--in short, when you
undertake to play the man, you play
the devil and are an emfatic noosanee.
NY female friends" l continnered, as
they were Indignantly departin, ''wa
well what A. Ward has sed!"