The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-12-30
Eo cuban patrtot-A Calm Inspection
OF Him.
ET MARK TWAIN

Ec Cuban patr.ot-A Calm Inspcctio,
OF Him.
Bv MARK TWAIN.
INST r. hi. time our souls arc wrcnchct
with sympathy 1or the Cuban "patrlot,'
and with hatred tor his inhuman opnrc>Sor
CJr journals are filed with The struggles
ne cuTcrings, and tnc noble deeds OF thl
Iatriof. and nothing on earth can gel Oh
attention for u moment unless Il has some
thing To do with him. The tears that ar
suci over his mi>iort1Incs every gay Wouit
float n navy the daily ink that Is ~lavlStct
upon the Thinning of his virtues wonld lloa'
another one: and 4 month OF the prayer:
Tim, arc offered for his lifting up, il concenE
rated upon the worlds dead, might prcci
r;.ate the final resurrection. Ncare bound
I'm. heart mud soul, in Our Cuban 4" pa,
riot" We live but for him. We should
die if ne were taken from us. Daily we
cry, "Iio!y, holy, holy. and perfect and
beautiful, il Heavens beloved, the sublime
Cuban patriot
cg;Isut, how lofty. how magnanimous , His
career, from the moment his hcart IS first
stirred with patriotic emotion, till that
heart ceascsto beat. isa chiyalrous romance.
lie begins Nv shouting Clown with the
Suauiard :" in the streets Of Havana. Then
he and a hundred Of his fellows are cap
Jared by handful of soldiers and thrown
into rrison. Here they take the oath to the
Govcrnmcut, hire out 10 it n spies upon
other patriots. and finish hy denoUncinS =
hundred OF their personal friends 10 the
Government at so much 4 head. Those par
IIc< arc duly shot. garrotcd. or hanged Ill
~" u.blir plaza. o" otherwise made away
with according t. III" peculiar taste 81 the
commandment il The matter Of executions.
Ectt, tire patriot escape. TO The country
and resumes patriotism once more. y lcW
iu. 'rcds Of them band together. and then
~. hear Of Gallant deeds. They p0unce
l.,n.n deserted plantations and burn up the
sugar crop and the negro qiarters-and
forthwith our great Journals shrek the
rent tiljr-s OF Another grand patriot
lictory!"
Ih"Il the Government troops capture half
the knightly gang and shut them up III Il
iwrn and blrn Them alive. And instantly
oar great journals. and our congrc>snicn,
ana ourselves. rage about the brutal 1nllu-
uinitv Of Spaiu-an,i with ri our hearts
We hate those >paniaTd, for burning up
those pure patriots, and we Know We arc
sincere. too. notwith>tnudin" we cannot
somehow help icclin@r atlcr glad they
ia IT,.
Pretty soon tie great Journals tell III, IL
laundering display lines. how the patiio;
warrior Don Aguilnr Jesus Maria Josey Juan
the Baptist Bustamcntc made ahriIliant dash
upon the great ~plantatlo1 OF senior Madrc
tie DiUs 81 Caidcron Gcwliliiken> de ALA
oGlid, and banned UP III" whole cunccrn,
considering il best on :hc whole TO do this,
ina~much :.s senior NalIadolid'> political
uI.uious were exactly OF the universal Gu
ban pattern. and could never by amy posi-
hiJilv bc depended upon to remain in one
shape tWo hours 1T Il time unless INC holder
uf the same were asleep or dead. ana
further. the papers tel! us how the patriot
Eu-tamentc and his 600 followers ncXt
marched Nallololid and his family down
tnc road some thirteen miles on foot, ana
with u around their ncclls Tor convent
cIrc Of steering than, and then, while the
helpless parents and children knclt and
rI.aded piteously for life, boldly carved
them to pieces with Bowic-kniHcs. And all
America shouts, %"IlulTah for gallant Gu
ha-aown with her hated cpprcSsor !" Aud
fc.cciy we hcSiccc Congress To "rccognlzc'
the struggling patriots and reward their
r.ugle-llearted yittuc with our apprcciatiyc
protection.
Right away VIC. hear that the Spanish
troops and Bustamente's army have met
and fought Il tremendous battle. We Sloal
over tie particulars. We thrill from hcau
to heel az we read how that the bat'le iaSco
tnriousir from S III the morning till q Ill tho
evening, resulting in the complete dcstruc'
ton Of eleven barns. y plantations, three
s!w-milIs, one hospital and its patients, ano
The total rout OF the enemy, with 4 los:
Of riHtceu wounded, and also one killed b!
being run over by 4 wagon. But we gr1cyt
sore to hear that the patriot BuStamcItt
was taken prisoner by the brutal Spanlsl
h1rlc, and our hearts sink. and suffer, AM
Break, when We hear that his ~calturs las
.,cd him and dragged him three miles tC
the military prison ut the heels of Il callop
me horse. and then decided that it was JUS
rs cheap to con1ine what was left OF him II
u coffin. And how we do abuse the u4'
civilized sort OF warfare those Spanlard
wage!
But soon we rejoice once more, when W.
hear that the u~nconquerable patriots, iron
Il safe hidiug-place in the hills, have sen
cat emissarieS and fomcntcd Il conspiracy
among the slaves which has resulted i'll
Gentle midnight massacre 10y the blacks, o
i couple of dozen slumbering families o
white people, accompanying the deed witt
the usual Cuban impartiality rs to whcthc.
the families were "patriots or friends o
The Government.
And while we are still rejoicing over thi
victory, we learn how that the patriot i'll
>ti2ators of it, being close pressed, lalt
DOWN their arms, took the oath To serve
,cYa.n, and then for II consideration INFORM
Ell Ds Nu'l !.fittIl " SJ'aN - 'NN
and furnish each oil them with twelve hun
ircd triiiing lasiies ON the bare back viii
OK whips, in the course OF which entertain
,n"nt some of the slaves dled-and the res
IlloWed suit the next day. Blu all, the
died in Il glorious cause. They died TO tre'
their country from the opprcssor. 1t /
swect to die for ones native land. Th'
poor humble backs Will live Ill history--iol
acarly Il year.
In his self-Sacriticing struggles for hi
country's freedom, the Cuban prtriot make
yaiorous use Cl every method and ever,
contrivunce hat can aid i'll the good cause
Murder, theft, burglary, arson, assaSSlna
ton, rape, poison, trcachery, mendacity
,ratricide, matricide, homicide, parricide
and all sides but suicide. are instrument
~ lis hands for the salvation of his nltiv,
land, and the same are instruments in lii,
hands OF the "oppressor" for the danma
ton OF the same. Both parties, patriots
and Government servants alike, stant
ready ut any moment, apparently. to sci
out body, soul, and boots, politics, religion.
and principles, to anybody that VIII Iuv
and they seem equally ready to give the
lame away for nothing whenever their lives
stand in peril.
Both sides massacre their prisoners: botb
sides are is proud of burning a deserted
plantation or conquering, capturing, scalp
InG, and skinuing L crippled blind idiot, as
any civilized army would be Of taking a
fortified city both sides make IA Grand
scuool-boy pow-Wow over it every time
they fight all day long and kill a couple ofsick
women and disable Il jackass both sides lie,
aud br&g, and betray, and rob, and destroy
a happy majority Of both sides are fantastic
IN costume, grctesque in manner, hal
civilized, uawashed. ignorant, Digoted, sell
h5h, base, cruel, staggering, plantation,
burning s~emi-deyils, and it Is deyoutly to
be hoped that an All-wise Providence will
permit them TO 80 on eating each other UP