The Shasta courier., 1869-10-30
S SHASTA COURIER.
Mark Twain as a Pioneer.

Mark Twain as "a Pioneer.
We find in the New York Worlds re-
port of the Pioneers banquet, or the 18th,
| the following characteristic letter from
Mark Twain, which was read amid much
laughter:
ELMIRA, Oct II, 1869.
To the California Pioneers-G ::
Circumstances render it out of my power
to take advantage of the invitation extend
ed to me through Mr. Simonton, and be
present at your dinner in New York. |
regret this very Iluch for there are sew
eral among you whom | would have right
to join hands with on the score of old
friendship, and | suppose would have
sublime general right to shake hands with
the rest of you on the score of kinship in
Californian ups and downs in search of for
tune. If were to tell some Of my ex-
periences, you would recognize Californian
blood in me, fancy The old, old story
would sound familiar, no doubt. have
the usual stock of "reminiscences. For in
stance: [ went to Esmeralda early, pur-
chased largely in the +" Wide West" the
Winnemucca," and other fine claims,
and was very wealthy. | Jared sumptuous-
ly on bread when -four was two hundred
dollars barrel, and had beans for dinner
every Sunday, when none but bloated
aristocrats could afford such grandeur
But I finished by feeding batteries in
quartz mill at fifteen dollars week, and
wishing | was battery myself and had
somebody to feed me. My claims in Es-
meralda are there yet. | suppose | could
be persuaded to sell | went to the Hum
boldt District when all was new | became
largely interested in the =" Alba Nueva,"
and other claims with gor eous names, and
was rich again-in prospect. | owned
vast mining property there, would not
have sold out for less than four hundred
thousand dollars at that time. But | will
now. Finally. walked home-somd two
hundred miles-partly for exercise and
partly because stage fares were expensive
Next | entered upon an affluent career in
Virginia City, and by a judicious invest
ment of labor and the capital of friends,
became the owner of about all the worthless
wildcat mines there were in thai part of
the country. Assessments did the busi
ness for me there.
There were one hundred and seventeen
assessments to one dividend, and the pro-
portion of income to outlay was little
against me. My financial thermometer
went down to 80 deg. Fahrenheit, and the
subscriber was frozen out | took up ex-
! tensions on the main lead-extensions that
reached to British America in one direction
and to the Isthmus of Panama in the other
and | verify believe would have been
rich man if had ever found those in
fernal extensions. But [ didn't | ran
tunnels till | tapped the Arctic Ocean,
and | sunk shafts till l broke through the
roof Of perdition; but those extensions
turned up missing every time | am will
ing to sell all that property and throw in
the improvements. Perhaps you remem-
Der the celebrated "North Ophir" I
bought that mine 1t was very rich in
pure silver You could take it out in
Jumps as large as filbert But when it
was discovered that these Jumps were melt
ed half dollars, and had hardly melted at
that, painful case of " sailing" was ap-
parent, and the undersigned adjourned to
the poor house again. l paid assessments
on Hale & Norcross" till they sold me
out and | had to take in washing for liv-
ing-and the next month that infamous
stock went up to seven thousand dollars a
foot | own millions and millions of feet
of afluent silver leads in Nevada-in fact,
| own the entire undercrust of that coun-
try, nearly, and if Congress would move
that State of my property, SO that | could
get at it, would be wealthy yet But no,
there she squats; and here am |. IF you
know of any one desiring permanent in
vestment, can furnish him one that will
have the virtue of being eternal
have been through the Californian
mill, with all its "dips, spurs, and angles,
variations and sinuosities" Ihave worked
there at all the different trades and pro-
fessions known to the catalogue. have
been everything, from newspaper editor
down to a COW catcher on a locomotive, and
| am encouraged to believe that, if there
had been a few more occupations to ex-
pertinent on, might have made dazzling
success at last, and found out what mys-
terious design Providence had in view in
creating me.
But you perceive that although am
not pioneer, | have had sufficiently
variegated time of it to enable me to talk
pioneer like native and feel like Forty
miner. Therefore, / cordially welcome you
to your old remembered homes and your
long deserted fresides, and close this screed
with the sincere hope that your visit here
will be happy one ane unembittered by
the sorrowful surprises that absence and
lapse of years are wont to prepare for wan
derers; surprises which come in the form
of old friends missed from their places !;
silence where familiar voices should be the
the young grown old !; change and decay
everywhere; homo delusion and dis
appointment; strangers at the hearth-stone;
sorrow where gladness was; tears for
laughter; age melancholy pomp of death