The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1869-07-03

PARsoY KENDALL's DIsApPoINTMENT.-Her
is one of the humorous touches of "Oldtown
Folks" Sam Lawson, the village ns'er .do-well,
tells the story: 4ae-rf.'A - hr.sis
Wal, ye sc. you member old Parson Jedu-
thun Kendall, that lyee upriu Steay Pvist; he
lost his wife year ago. last ThankgfSinS, and
he thought twas about time he had another; 90
he comes down and consults our Parsoh Lcthrup.
Says he, ~ want good, smart, neat, economi.
cal woman, with good property. don't care
nothin' about her bein' handsome. In fact,
amt particular abotrt anytime cisa,a ~says he
"Wal Parson L1tarep, s4yr iie, u think il
that's the case know just the woman to suit ye.
She owns clear htn,iso,ne property, and shea
neat and economical; but she's TO beauty" ooh,
beauty is nnthn To me" says Parson Randall
and 40 he took the direction. Wal, one DAY he
hitched up his old oneh boss shay, and kind o.
brushed up, and started off . courtin'. Wal,
the parson he comes u the house, Iand he wAs
tickled to pieces With the looks o. things out
side, cause the mousse i, all well shingled and
painted, and there amt picket loose nor nail
wantin' nowhere. This cres the woman for
me-" says Parson Kendall SO he goes up and
raps hard on the front door with his whip-han.
die. Wal. you see, Miss Sphyxy, she wan jest
goin' out to help get in her hay. She had on ..
pair o clompin COW hide bouts, aud pitchfork
in her hand, just going out when she heard the
rap. So she Jest she was ~ the front
door. Now You know PsrsorI Kendalrs : ittl6
midget of man but he stood there on the step
kind o snlin' and yenteel, .lickin' his lips and
lookins 80 agree4 ue.~ Wal, the tronth0or kind
o stuck-front doors generally do, ye know,
cause they amt opened very often--and Miss
Sphyxy she had to pull and haul and pu, to all
her strength, and finally it came open with q
hapu md sha IN fha Pc nit
and all, sort o frownin' like.
"What do you wantT' says she I; for you see
Miss Sphyxy amt no ways tender 70 the men.
II want to see Miss Aspyxis Smith," says he,
very civil. thinkn' she was the hired girl,
'Tm Miss Asphyxis Smith," says she. "What
do you want o me Z"
Parson Kendall, he jest took one good look on
her, from top to toe. "Nothin" says he, and
turned right round and went down the steps liks
lightning.
The way she banged that ere door, Sol said,
was lively. He jumped into his shay, and He'll
you his old boss was walked up for once The
way that ere old shay spun and bounced WAS q
sight. And when he come TO Oldtown, Parson
Lothrop was walkin' out in his wig and cooked
hat and rutt1es, as serene a. q pictur', and he
took of his hat TO him as handsome ~ . gentle
man could; but Parson Kendall, he driv right
by and never bowed. He was awful riled, Par.
son Kendall was; out ne couldn't say nOthin
cause he'd got what he'd asked for. m
An old negro named Pete was very much trou.
bled about his sins. Perceiviug him one day
with down.cast look, his master asked him the
cause
80, massa, Tm such great sinner y s,,sI, :
"But Pete" said his master, .you are foolish
to take it 80 mnch to heart You never see ne
troubled about my SINS"
II know de reason, msssa," aeid Pete "wAen
you goout duck hunting and n one duck md
wound another don't you run after the wound
ed ducky" lEyhf- WIA tgVgYff0
ayes, Pete" And the master wondered what
was coming next, isslaslt lsf ie .7saglsAtiasa
"Well, massa, dat is de way wild you and me
dc debbil has got.you sure; but - hsis not SUR
Of pe he chases dis -chils all.d timA - I...2
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