The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1869-12-17
FooliGisms.


An Euglisbman paid So for eush-
ons on which Eugene leaned in her
yondola ride TO Venice. y
Measures, not meb; isa very GOOD q
maxim in politics, but in potatoes both !.
ire equally necessary 3ll ,
al say. Pat. can you tell me Whist G
comes next to a man r. II den I ,
Know, Bill what does =? "His shirt !
Of course.
II is said that TO catci. rogue you
must employ one that to catch
pretty girl, bristling young man IS
about as good as anything else.
A negro. being. caught stealing from !
4. hen-roost, excused himself oy say
iug that "he only cum dar to see Il !
de chickens sleep wid der eyes open.
AnEsglishman paying an Irish shoe
black with rudeness. the dirty urehin
said: my honey, all the polish you
have is upon your boots and | gave
you that.
! "Ma, somebody is going to die,
said knowing little fellow who was
locking out Of the window into the
street. "Why p "'Cause the doc
tors gone By, was the reply.
a French girl asked the priest the
other day. why is it, father, that We
ask every dsy for our daily bread IN.
stead Of asking il for week,
month, or a year p Why little
goose. to have il fresh TO be sare.
was the reply.
"Onee upon time, man net an
old woman in an English town, driv-
ing several asses. "Adieu, mother OF
asses, said he, Adieu, my son 2
was The old womans reply. The
fellow went on his way, feeling for
! his ears.
4 company Of young ladies lately
discussed this quesuOn-"W hat is the
greatest duty of man p One Of
them, dressed Ia mode from head TO
foot, eontended it was was 70 pay
millinsrs' bills. This was sgresd 20
without dissenting voice.
i Young lady Ito Fred with thin legs)
t"Fred, always admired your eour-
age; I knew when first laid my eyes
on you that you we're brave to rash
ness Fred, looming up smiling,)
"Oh. don't my dear Why do you
say tbAt?' Young lady-"Why any
man has courage who can trust him
isetf long at a time on such legs as
yours"
An old lady, on being examined As
to her place Of legal settlement was
asked what reason she had for sup
posing her husband had legal set
Element in that town. The old lady
said He was born and married
there and if that isn't settling him
there, | don't known what is
A christian brother was lately re-
viewing in a religious meeting the
experiences of himself and family,
saying among other coed things, that
his first wife was a very good woman,
but she siekened and died in happy
| frame of mind, and he should rejoice
if his present partner would 90 just
the same way.
/ An artist in Indianapolis has in his
studio q very fine Madonna picture,
one that he takes great pride in show
ing his visitors. Imagine his feel
| ings when, the other day, a lady who
had examined the various prOdue-
tiors of the artist displayed upon the
walls, pointing to the Madonna, said:
"But the one like the best is that
tired nurse girl! Don't she look nat
ural2 p
An editor lately killed a lady in
his paper. The bereaved husband
visited him. "Villain," cried the en
ragged husband, "you have killed nv
| wife 7" Editor, with dignity: "Sir,
l am an editor, not doctor" That's
lust it, cried the bereaved husband,
you have killed her on paper, and
she's alive" "If she's not dead, l
congratulate you" Congratulate
/ 1 demand damages for disappolnt-
ment."
Brown had been in love with a
! Young lady, and asked permission to
call her by the expressive name Of
some animal, which was granted on
condition that she should have the
same privilege. Or leaving, Brown
4 said "Good night, deer" Good
night, bore" said she. Brown has
since given up the company of young
ladies.
A young man who had come into
possession ofa large property by the
death of his brother, was asked how
he was getting along "0h," said he,
al am having a dreadful time
What with getting out letters
of administration, and attending a
probate court, and settling claims-I
sometimes almost wish he hadn't
diedr'
i A pungent mot is current in Paris,
about the Emperor. There used to
be said a great deal about the "neph-
lew of his uncle" but since then it has
been found that Napoleon III. is
neither the nephew of his uncle, nor
the son of his father, nor the father
| of his son. .-. ...s.I
A country girl rode into New Al
bany, Ind, to do some shopping.
When the clerk asked if there was
anything else he could do for her, he
was amazed by the reply, "Oh, no
sir; unless you will be kind enough
to go out and milk the old mare, for
| rode ber from home without the
colt. t-ss ~
! Some men are more beholden to
their bitterest enemies, than to friends
who appear to be sweetness itself
the former frequently tell the truth,
hut the latter neve-. - Gbto.
"My DEAR inquired young wife
of her husband on his return from
business, "haye you seeu the beauti-
ful set of walnut furniture which the
Smiths have bought q "Ahem no.