Middletown transcript., 1869-07-17
Popular Wlistellanp.
No Reaux Anywhere.

NO beauX! Absolutely no bcauX. Well
young ladies', stop and consider, if, after
all, you yourself have not pronounced the
sentence of Punishment.
owe? We Danish them? Good gra-
cious! Is it not for them we have de-
viscd all this elaboration of adornment !?
We, indeed Were we not for weeks,
before we came to these odious mountains,
where men are as scarce as French hair
dressers, closeted with our dressmakers
and milliners to produce these bewitching
" suits" long and short, for morning and
evening, outdoor and in door wear? Have
we not cool dresses and warm dresses I;
dresses for rain, dresses for sunshine, drcs-
dresses for neutral weather, with rib
bons, gloves, sashcs, parasols, hats and
fans to &C match" to the minutest shade ?
For whom should we take all that trouble
but for the bcaux? And how are we re-
sponsiblc for their disgusting absence ?"
Listen, my dcars, for in that which
you have just said, lies your offence.
Can damsels thus arrayed walk in the
poetry? Can they take even an ordinary
mild walk, without mortal terror of per-
ling their millinery? Must they not,
therefore, ride" morning, afternoon and
evening, everywhere, to the dclcctation
of the stable-keepers, and the consequent
pccuniary depletion of the "beaux p
These beaux, whose fathers may be rich,
but whose sons have yet to fill their in
dividual Golfers; these beaux, who have
just SO much to expend when they get
away for a summer holiday, and who do
not desire to pour it all into the pockets
of the stable-keeper; these beaux, who
can get vastly more fun out of their pur-
ses, and make them last longer, with a
party of I" the fellows"-this is the rca-
son that, with rare exceptions, you have
to throw away these ravishing toilettes on
your own SEX, when you play croquet, or
sit on the piazza, dreaming of the " COM
ing man."
My dears, he wont come! He knows
too much He has seen his sisters mil
liner and mantua- maker bills, and heard
the family discussion thereon; and though
he acknowledges your fascinations even
through all the absurd toggery you are
doomed by fashions slavery to have and
to wear, he has yet to make the fortune
to enable him to foot his angels bills.
So he runs away from you, discreetly
runs off fishing, or cunning with the
fellows" and, wiser than you, comes
home brown, hale and hearty for the win
ter months, instead of perspiring at your
side in tight boots and yellow kids.
d. you begin to understand? Now,
my dears, if you have been ushered into
the world in coach and six, till your feet
and hands have become paralyzed for want
of use, that is your misfortune, and your
fault. Because that necessitates a rich
husband. And as there are very few
rich young husbands, you will have to bid
good bye to your girlish ideal, and marry
the bald-headed. gouty Mr.. Smith, who
was born at the same time as your own
father. This, my dears. you will have to
do, or face your nightmare, single blessed
ness.
l have looked at you playing croquet,
without coat tail among you; / have
seen you driving yourselves out in your
pretty little ph@tons; and though you put
a brave face on it, know very well what
is going on under that gay little sash Of
yours; and 1 think it is a pity that you
should have been brought up to many ar
ti6cial wants, that your heart must &c
hungry in life's spring time because Of
them.
My dears Inever lacked beaux at you
. age. But walk in the woods, or in the
city either, involved no expense to my
beau. 1 could climb fence, where there
was no gate, or where there acas either; I
was not afraid Of dew or rain, because my
dress was simple. My gifts were moi
diamonds, but flowers or books. My
mother would not have allowed me to ride
with gentlemen, had they asked. When
they came to spend the evening, our tray
Of refreshments did not involve o
l." French cook"