The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1869-01-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

A broad grin is seldom seen ON long face
What part of cigar is tree r The ash-is.
Removing Misunderstanding dirty face.
When is turkey ghost When he's o
goblin
A dramatic performance-A drunken man in
a loft.
What you dislike in another, try to correct
in yourself.
Yardsticks believes in Zone price, system
the highest price.
The lady who took everybody's eyes must
have a lot of them.
New York joker intimates that the ballet |
girls earn q bare living.
Why is lady's bonnet like<e cupolaf Be- |
cause 1T covers the belle.
A melancholy reflection-The top of a bald |
head in the looking glass.
AWelcome Robber-The man who takes your |
part
Why are the clouds like coachmen? Because
they hold the rains
The most polite parts of a ship are the bows
and gallant yards.
To escape trouble from noisy children-send
them to your neighbors visiting.
The lady whose "piece of mind" was broken
| intends to have it repaired.
If I were in the sun and you ont of it, what
would the sun becomeS Sin.
| The individual who watched an opportunity
| is said to have strained his eyes.
The most necessary part of learning is to be
taught to divest our minds of prejudice.
If you want to turn the heads of a hundred
people at once, go late to church.
"Sir, you have broken your promise" Oh,
| never mind 1 can make another just as good"
| The lady who gave a piece of her mind to
| her neighbor, has been short Of brains ever
\ since.
| "How is the market neighbor?" every
quiet" "Anything doing in cheese Z" "Not
| mite"
49, l.. bod. .oI,
| by losing an eye, has nothing but u nose left
A noise.
The man who undertook to blast his neigh
bor's prospects, used too short fuse, and got
blown up himself.
What a,comedy of grief is that performed by
sympathetic undertakers! Their motto should
be Hearse and Rehearse."
An excellent cure for dyspepsia is to give a
hungry dog q piece of meat, and then chase
him till he drops it.
mans character is frequently treated like
a grate-blackencd all over first, to come out
the brighter afterward.
"Sambo, did you eber see the Catskill Noun
tains "No, Glenn; Pve seen de cats kill mice
! many time"
; "You must be economical, my son; a pin q
day is groat year, you know. Then
father, think I'll go ten pins every day"
In what part of a mans existence does ht
, become musically inclined? When he makes
. orertmres to his sweetheart, of course
= = Iscoper than the earth1 Because the earth i
: exceedingly dirty, and the sea is very tidy.
e An rate citizen asks, +" Can any one tell VIII!
hOrse-carS are always going the other way !.
The conundrum beats us.
"Well, Mr.. Tree, if you're about to tedrc,
: shall detan your trMnk,' exclaimed an incense'
: landlady to her lodger, who was slightly IL
= arrears.
+ A pet hen picked out false tooth, in mstak
Y, for a kernel of corn, from between the lips of
- Stratford lady. Immediate slaughter rescue
v the incisor.
!, traveller inquired of guide the reaso
1t why "echo I" was always spoken of as - she,
r and was informed that 1t was because 1t AWAY
g has the last word.
70 A gentleman, on taking volume to be bount
It was asked if lie would have it bound i'll Russi;
"Oh, no." he replied, "Russia Is too tar on. L
i have it bound here"
N "pieces of artillery" "What's the USE" sal
lie Mrs. Partington, of capturing pieces VIII
III not capture whole onesT
Sc A teacher was explaining to a little girl til
rs meaning the word J" cutele.o What :
! that ali over my face and hands 7" askedh
lg It's freckles, sir" answered the little cheru
,s ~ "Doctor, whenever 1 lean my bead on N
~ arm in this way, it pains me terribly. WI;
,p ,p shall do ?" "Stop leaning your head on yo'
"a arm in that way, madam
ks A gentleman Just rot1rned to this coInt1
ne from a tour in Europe, was asked how he lik.
re the ruins of P0npeii. Not very much,"
i'll replied; 'sthcy are SO out OF repair.
A witness in a divorce suit kept saying tn
ly the wife had a very retaiiatin9 disposition-th
"a, she "retaliated for every little thing" y
til you ever sec her husband kiss her p, asked d, t
nd wife's counsel. Yes, sir; Often" We
tes what did she do on such occasions" $
ess always retaliated, sir"
rs, y In some of the religious denominations t tn
ire licanse younp men to preach, and let the
led rreach On trial some time before they orda
them AT q church meeting of this kind the
arose quite discussion as to ortlaininG lice &C
he tt ~ L ni,n ottIed the matter by moving til
yer he "be required to remain six mouths longer
rly his present licentious condition"
csc ~ 40 s-
Mt --------a'1''