davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1869-10-15

CoPFER-RIo in yery good demand at previous
soi steamer Dona AMI $40 bags eI ctnigy o. bass
ldlitc gold bond for fair good cargos Oher sun
FLOUR AND MBAL-The market for Western and State Flour
fairly active the low grades are ioee pss aDS faiS G
Snpesn State sOdS6 State 80 81 for Fancy
IS 65d SO IS m the low grades Of Western Extra go Ig 20
and shipping Extras 70 lot
Shipping Ohio Hoop &c asa SO G for Trade brands 90 6O9
80 Family 50 a ~ os foI Amber Winter ane
Family Do sod SO IS Cor ST. Louis BTa sbge 80 500 % or
do Double 81 eOgss for do rrple California and Oregon fGG
via the Horn Inactive nominal SouheIn
Pour is apoeraie request the low grades are held hsd.
Baltimore aud County, % 30S1 for BItra Georea and VignA
50 for Family do 20 9gUS7 for Extra MARYLAND and De
ADD 81 for fsmy 90 DO sys to@I o ,SIsT snS
bat quiet Buckwhest Flour steady but quiet AZ t@0StwP %
GRAN-Tbs wbest market qaiet but prices are better me
ssS,saSsScs O Ths s%aa Z manly for export
bush at III bid for No Cmsgo spbg ~ 90 "a -, ~. '9 "a
cheEo spnSg q e paid for No d. ~ q s 0 AMBER hs
sss 81 Sea- 81 IS Tor White Michigan 81 a. for Amber do 81 50
the latter for Delhi 81 ~ Iot
mbd ssles oil bush Canada West at 81 $50 81 o.
Mat scarce and an sales bush State at 81 o. and
closed with more sesdnss though active he sales are e
Of New Ohio Western az 65ao' .. railway Depot s
s 066c for do ssoa State 6tGeo Jersey and soa,neh
srs Is 900 bush Of western at 81 49, State 81 Cora !, eI
higher The ipury u the canal by The resn,
uSSSud 81 ss ii Of xss western Mined Oa@yl ~
oe9sl for canal and railroad LOTS western "h'e VI 70
re- sod Domestic slughters fairly active and steady al M
HEaP-Ths market for Msua eonIsuss dull at 4olc gold
kpds shou, change; the busDeas h only moderate
0PS-Ths market continues 6m With good consump' demand
| l6d2Gc for New and 6Dl4c tor.Oh a.
HAYThs desnd Is moderator quote at sdeoe sr shipping
4 sRd u esjs toe retail Ists
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1869-10-15
MEsr IsnIA MARkRrS
DOMESTIC MARKETS

HayaSA -saEau-Prce, sud3 qaoiaisas nuehsage
BIchsSe Loudpu And the United States IA shade hgh
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1869-10-15
THURSDAY. Oct. 1I-P. NJ.

THURSDAY, UCI ~ NJ
Gold has been dull, ranging from $50 to 1905,
and closing 3Oh The steamer Main took out sS7sO
Sn treasure Government sold 100000 gold to-day
The offerings to A.5433S3 49, at prices ranging
sroIn I29 10 1913 The following were the awards:
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

OF that day, | was talking with one of the
young gentlemen Just referred to, and he
said h" had an uncle who, from some
cause or other, seemed to have grown
permanently bereft of all emotion. And
with tears in lis eyes this young man
said
"Oh, if could only see him laugh
once more! Oh, if | could only see him
weep!' | was touched | never could
Withstand distress. | said
Bring him to my lecture. III start
him for you.'
"Oh, if you couM but do it ! IF you
could but do it, all our family would
bless You forevermore-for he is very
dear to us. Oh, my benetactor, eau
You make him laugh ? con you bring
soothing tears to those parcled orbs -
was profoundly moved. | said
M son, bring the old party around.
have got some jokes in that lecture that
will make him laugh if there is any
langl' IN him and if they miss fire, I
have some others that'll make him cry or
kill lin, one or the other"
Then the young man blessed ME, and
wept On my neck, and blew his nose ON
my coat-tail, and went after his uncle.
He placed him in full view, in the second
row of benches, that night, and I began
on h,m. | tried him with mild jokes; then
with severe ones; dosed him with bad
jokes, and riddled him with good ones;
/ fired old jokes into him, and peppered
him tore-and-att with red-hot new ones;
| warmed up to my work, and assaulted
him on the right and the left, in front
and behind; | tumed and sweated, and
charged and routed, till I was hoarse
and sick, land frantic and furious-but I
never moved him once-I never started
a smile or tear! Nevera ghost of a
smile, and never suspicion OF moisture.
| was astounded. | closed the lecture at
last with one despairing shriek-with
one wild burst of humor-and hurled
Joke Of supernatural atrocity full at
him. | never phased him. Then I sat
down bewildered and exhausted.
The president of the society came up
and bathed my head with cold water,
and said
what made you carry on so toward
he last?'
| said: Il was trying to make that
contounded old fool laugh, in the second
'ow."
And he said: "Well, you were vast
ne your time-because he is deaf and
lumb, and as blind as badger.
Now was that any way for that old
mans nephew to impose on stranger
nd an orphan like me? I simply ask
'ou, as man and brother, if that was
ny way for him to do?
MARK TWAIN.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06
EI0UsAs PARISH OF ST. LANDRY, LA SATURDAY. MARCH g.

an awful racket among tho furniture.
began to feel that | was urgently wante,
at home, but was in for it and coul
not help myself. Three or four fellow
then seized me, and with a demoniaca
laugh pitched me on the animals back
telling me, at the same time, to look ou
for squalls. have been in a good man,
scrapes, Mr.. Editor, have been in al
election fight; I've been pitched out o
four story window; I've gone down il
a railroad collision, and up in a steam
boat explosion; but this little goat ex
cursion was ahead of them all The
confounded thing must be all wings and
horns. 1t bumped me against the table
and chairs, and the stove and the ceiling
but l hung on like Trojan. | turned
front somersaults, and rolled over till
thought it was all over with me. was
jnst on the point of giving up when the
bandage fell from my eyes, and the goat
bounded through the window with yell
like Camanche Indian giving up the
ghost I was in a Lodge of Masons.
They were dancing war dance around
big skull, and playing leap frog, and
turning hand springs, and the big fat
fellow of the ante-room was standing on
his head in the corner, finishing the con-
tents of my little bottle. Order was
soon restored, and I was led up to desk
and told to stand at my ease The chief
Engineer of the esta ablishment then put
his thumb to his nose, and stretching
out his fingers in the shape of a fan to-
wards me, commanded silence. The
rest Of the brethren did likewise and
We're silent. The Governor then address,
ed me: Brother knobb, you are now
one of us. You are now member of
an institution that has lasted over ten
millions of years. From this time for
ward your constitution is sound. You
are impervious to light and heat, or any
other atmospheric influence. You are
waterproof, tre-proof, and over.proof
With impunity you may walk through
tie lake, or sit on red hot stove; with
impunity drink aquafortis, rye whiskey,
Walloo Bitters, Or any other poisonous
substance. You are free from rheuma-
tism, dyspepsia, whooping-cough, or the
measles. The Sheriff dare not seize you
for debt, nor the policeman arrest you
for misdemeanor. You are one of US and
you are safe. Here is the pass word
with that and big club you can get
into any lodge in Christendom." I then
took the oath on a pack Of cards, stood
the whiskey and water all the way
round, and [ was Mason.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

Some enthusiastic Frenchman once
declared the human leg to be the most
philosophical of all studies. "Show me
the leg, said Gautler, and will judge
the mind, " and it does seem quite as
natural that the limb should indicate the
disposition, as the shade of hair should
indicate the temperament.
What sloth, for instance, does an obese
limb betray' What a shrew is the pos
SCISSOR of limb like walking stick
But what gentlewoman is she of the
arched instep, the round ankle and the
graceful pedestal, swelling to perfection
and modulating to ligLtLrss!! What dog
ged obstinacy the stumpy leg with the
knotted calf exhibits? What an irreso-
lutte soul does the lanky limb betray
How we'll the strong ankle intimates the
firm purpose-how the fiat ankle reveals
the vacant mind.
Young men about to marry-observe:
Tie dark girl, with large leg, will
become tat thirty, and lie abed reading
novels till midday. The brunette with
slender, very slender limbs, will worry
your soul out with jealousy. The olive
skinned maid, with a pretty rounded
leg, will make you happy. The blonde
with large limbs will degenerate at thir-
ty five into the possession of pair of
ankles double the natural size and afflict-
ed with rheumatism. The tair-haired
damsel with thin limbs will get up at
half past five in the morning to scold the
servants, and will spend her nights talk
ing scandal over tea. The liz ght rosy
girl, with sturdy, muscular, we'll turn
ed leg, will be just the girl for you.
If you can find red-haired girl, with
a large limb pop the question at once!
The short lady should always possess
a slender limb; the tall lady should pos
sess large and ample one. These are
the rules to observe IN making your
choice! We do not make them. Nature
has established them, and we merely an
nounce them for the benefit of mankind.
No doubt these hints are reliable and
The prevailing fashion makes them quite
practical and available.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06
A WICKED FEeADk1.
PERPETRATED ON MARK TWAIN.

It is seldom pleasant to tell on one S
self, but sometimes it is sort of relief to
a man to make sad confession. | wish
TO unburden my mind now, and yet
almost believe that | am moved to do it
more because l long to bring censure
upon another man than because I desire
to pour balm upon my wounded heart.
( | don't know what balm is, but | be-
lieve 1t is the correct expression to use in
this connection-never having seen any
balm.) You may remember that lee
tured in Newark lately for the young
gentlemen of the Clayonian Society? l
did, at any rate. During the afternoon
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

matt r. of material interest. which de-
pend upon the commercial and industrial
energies of those who art thoroughly
identified with our State and city, oul
prospects are good. In political matters
our only hope lies in that peac" which
has been so emphatically' prom sell by
Gen Grant, and in leturn to rrpr, sen-
tative institutions, in deed as we'll as in
name When the voce ofpublic opinion
is again so pot mt as to check usur| alton,
extravaganza and fraud, and re-es' ab]ish
consent as the basis of p litical uthority,
then, and not til then, will "ur comp etc
redemption BIZ achievel.-N. o. Times.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06
Vigorous WOaaEsc -

Physically, our American women Of
to-day present striking contrast to
those often years ago. Wasp.liks waists
have disappeared. Delicate limbs, Ian
guild countenances and frail constitutions
generally have ceased to be at premium,
and in their place we have strong limbs,
rsddy cheeks, and robust constitutions.
The English woman is yearly becom-
ing more the model. Without becoming
strong minded, in the common accepta-
tion of the term, our wives, daughters
and sisters are becoming stronger physi-
cally. We do not allude, of course to
those whose lives are devoted to round
of fashionable gayety and dissipation.
This encouraging change is to a oonsi-
dsrable extent due to outdoor pastimes
inaugurated among the women. Horse
back riding, tenpins, eroquet, billiards.,
skating and walking, have ceased to be
confined to the sterner sex. Women
eagerly embrace these amusements, and
seemingly deriveall the enjoyment which
they are capable of yielding. e:
The English girl, who thinks nothing
of doing FIVE miles walk before break
fast, now finds competitor in her Ame-
rican cousin. Many of the most DEVOTED
and skillful disciples of the curling art
belong to the other sex. Women WELD
their croquet mallets. pocket billiard
balls, and make ten strikes with all the
enthusiasm of the male sex. A fond
ness and taste for these pastimes should
be fostered and developed, instead of be-
ing repressed and checked, through fear
of their making women unwomanly,
Marriage" says Michelet, sis the chief
end Of woman" If such be the case, she
can attain it in no quicker way than by
presenting robust physique, overflow
ing with animal life and spirits, in con-
trast to weak, puny constitution, bend. |
ing before any adverse wind.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06
Josh Billings ON the Mule.

The mule is half horse and half jack
ass, and then kums to full stop, natur
discovering her mistake. Tha weigh
more, akording to their heft, than any
other kreeture, except crowbar. Tha
kant hear emmy quicker, nor further than
the boss, yet their ears are big enuh for
snow shoes. You ken trust them with
emmy one whose life amt worth emmy
more than the mules. The only way
tn keep them into paster, is to turn
them into medder jineing. and let them
jump out. Tha are ready for use, Just
as soon as thay will do to abuse. Tha
haint got emmy friends, and will live on
huckle-b berry brush, with an occasional
chanse at Kanada thissels. Tha are a
modern invcnsun, l don't think the BIZ
bic cludes TIL them at all. Tha Sci for
more money than emmy other domestik
animile. You kant tell their age by look
ing into their mouths, emmy more than
you kould Mexican canon's. Thaneyer
have no disease that a good club wont
heal. If tha ever die they must kum
rite tn life agin, for Inever herd nobody
sa 'ded mule" Tha are like sum men,
"verry corrupt at harte" I've known
them tn be good mules for 6 months, Just
tn git chanse to kick somebody.
never owned one nor never mean to, un-
less there is United States law passed
it. The only reason why they
are pashant is because they are ashamed
ov themselves. | have seen eddikated
mules in a sirkus Tha would kick, and
bite tremenjis. Emmy man who is will
ling to drive mule, ought TO be exempt
by law from running for the legislator.
Tha are the strangest creeturs oa earth.
and heaviest according tn their size I
herd tell Of one who fell oph from the
tow path, on the Fri kanawal, and sunk
as soon as he touched water, but he kept
rite on towing the boat tu the next sta
ton, breathing thru his ears. which stuck
out OF the water about feet inches |
didn't See this did, but an auctioneer
told IF it, and [ never knew an auc-
tioneer tn tell an ontruth unless it was
absolutely convenient
He that would have a wife without a
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

The LADIEs,-Stars bright and glo-
rious in the galaxy of beauty, gems in
the coronet of love, flowers in the garden
of the heartfelt the dews of heaven fall
softly upon them.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

The noisy turmoil ofthe day is DER;
And we 60 forth into the fields to seek
Peace in their silence, while our full hearts pour
Their longiugs in worship pure and meek
The rising night winds kiss the burning cheek,
And in their sikin pinons freshly bear
The balmy cooness of some highland peak
That steals away the weary from their care
Mid scenes ofholy calm and loveiiness SO rare.
Twilight is in the glen. and up the side
OF the rough mountain rolls its volume vast.
Shading the hues of sunset in their pride,
Till its broad mantle DER the hills be cast,
And that one hour of sweet enchantment past,
So fade earth's beauties, and thus pc2s away
The holiest hopes of life! Yet to the last,
Within the vanished west, some lingering ray
Lights the deep shadows DER the darkllng tomb
LOT day.
Deep gathering Twilight thou hast wondrous
To sootle the sorrows of a troubled breast;
Like oil upon the waters, thy soft hour
Gains the wild throbbings to a peaceful rest,
And memory from its urn of bright ard best
Mementoes, fondly cullszi its richest store
The bright, the beautiful, whom once We
Lpressed
To joyous bOsoms in Ghose days OF yUre
When love and truth were fresh, alas we'll see
no more.
Now stars. Ike gems upon the brow of night,
Stream their full radiance Ger the verdant
y Lglain,
And field and forest quiver in the light
That gives them back their magic charms
[agsin.
Along the shore and on the rolling main,
The starry splendor crowns the crested wave;
While softly DER the waters comes strain
Ct mournfu music, swelling DER the grave
Where they have slumbered long, the beauti-
[ful the brave.
In days of sadness or in hours of mirth,
I loved them tervently and they to Inc
Have seemed bright watches o'erbur darken-
Ted Earth |
The sentinels of Time-while far and free
Their sheen cleaned Ger the mountain. vale |
and lea.
And have watched them as each silvery
beam
Cleaned to earth, for hours, with silent glee,
And dreamed that which to me was no dream:
These and love-lit home beside the flowing
stream.
ORION
WASHINGTON Feb 90, 1865
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06
For the Opelousas Journal.
EVENING.

Golden and glowing i'll the distant west
The sun sinks slowly down along the sky
Its dying glories, streaming brightly. rest
Upon each cloud that floats majestic by,
Aud the bold mountains towering proud and
Thigh,
And bathed in radiant light; woodland and
lea
With no less beauty crowned, afar and nigh,
Smile in their gladness as each ancient tree
Waves its green leaves and boughs to sreezes
Tight and free.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

A Long head is never head long.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-03-06

He that would have a wife without a
fault must remain a bachelor.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-03-09
Road Notice.

A PETITION will be presented to the Com
II missioners of Monroe county, Ohio, at
their session on the first Monday of March,
1859, praying for change of the road lead
ing from near the residence of Howard
in Wayne township, through
the lands of Howard Farnesworth, George
Pollen, Daniel Baker, John Wilson, Basil
Reeves, Marcus Highman, Mary Lowe and
Andrew Smith, to the Town House, on Rich
Fork creek, all in said Wayne township.
feb9. MANY PETITIONERS.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-03-09
Administrators Sale.

DY virtue of 6 n order to me directed from
- the Probate Court of Monroe County
Ohio. / will offer for sale, between the hours
Of 10 q. M. and p. NJ, on the premises, on
Saturday, the 9th day Of March, 1869
the following described real estate, lying in
Monroe County, Ohio to wit:
A part of the north west quarter Of the
south west quarter of section one, in town
ship four. of range four, beginning at the
south west corner of said quarter, thence
east to run called Tery's hun, thence with
meanderings of said run to the line running
from North to South. on the west side of said
forty acres thence South to the place of BE-
ginning containing twenty acres.
Also the following described tract: Begin
ming at the north east corner Of the south
east quarter of the south east quarter ofsec
tion seven, in township four, of range FOUR
thence north with the section line twenty.
eight rods to a stake, thence west hfty-three
rods and eight links to stake; thence south
sixty rods to a stake. thence east ffty-three
rods and eight links to a stake in the section:
thence north with the section line to the
place of beginning. containing twenty acres.
TERMs-Ons-third in hand at time or pur-
chase, one third In one year and one third in
two years with hond and security TO the salts
faction of the undersigned.
feb23w4. WILLIAM RUTTER.
Admir- of John Ruttsr, decd.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-03-09
Legal Notice.

HATHARINR ECKELBERRY and John Eckel.
" berry, of the State of Illinois; Richard
Huffman, Nathan Huffman, John Huffman,
Rachel Ruble, Christian Ruble, all of the
State of Indiana, aud the following minof
heirs of Frederick Huffman, deceased: John
Huffman, Louisa Huffman, Samuel Huffman
and Simeon Huffman. all Of the State of lndi-
ana, will take notice that the plaintiff, Lett
tia Huffman, widow of Philip Huffman, de-
ceased, on the 10Th day OF February, 1869
fled her petition in the Court of Common
Pleas of Monroe county, State of Ohio, the
prayer of which is to establish the will of
said Philip Huffman, deceased, and TO quiet
plaintiffs title to the west half of the south
east quarter of section twenty -four township
two of range four. situate in Monroe county
aforesaid.
The defendants are required to answer by
the third Saturday after the 29th day of
March, 1869. LETITIA HUFFMAN,
by Morris & Mechem. her att'ys.
feb23w6.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-03-09

The following clever hits we copy from
anexchange.
Statistics are all the fashion, and the
following, furnished by fgurist are very
much 50. They may be commended to
rkeep in the coolp
Out of five hundred persons only five
survive long enough to mind their own
business.
Out of every ten men in the street not
more than one has brains enough to keep
from standing gossipping directly in the
middle OF the sidewalk crossing.
Out of every twelve women one doz-
enmake themselves up to attract as much
attention as possible, and then pretend
tosbe angry if they getit.
Out of one hundred persons about five
score don't behave as well as they re-
quire other peopleto do.
Out of the fifteen in a street rassen-
ger railway car about one will in riding
a mile conduct himself all the way just
as he ought To-.
Out of q large amount Of young people
who have never seen anything of life i'll
the world an equal number constantly
refer to their experience.
Out of eight young woman whose ex-
perience of life is confined to gossipping
and flirting with simpletons like them
selves at parties, all except one are gen
orally of the opinion that they have seen
an immense amount of humanity.
Out of several dozen people only a
limited number will talk gossip of their
friends, and then kindle up if they hear it
has been talked of themselves.
There is only one drunkard to every
seventy-four persons but the liquor which
the other seventy three "shows up daily,
would keep half a dozen of them drunk
as peeps until next morning.
Out of one hundred persons six reach
the age of sixty years, and of these, five
generally behave SO as to make their
friends wish they hadn't.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1869-03-09

G, Children wouldn't cross their parents
80 often when they are grown up, if they
we're - cross their parents knees little
ef,sner when they are small.