The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-08-08
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A1ON1suoO
WHY ID the letter q like matriinony
Because it is at the end of counting.
All women are good-goOd for something
or good for nothing.
Happiness-To look back and approve;
to look forward and hope.
Forgiveness ~ The odor which flowers
yield when trampled upon.
A correspondent says that the greenest
servant he ever saw was one entirely black.
At recent fine art exhibition pair
of trained cattle took the prize for drasc-
ing. t9ua4
1t is q great waste of raw material to put
ten dollars worth of beaver on ten cents
worth of brains.
What are the most unsocial things in the
world7 Mile stones. You never see two
of them together.
Idle men and swine are equally valueless
in life, but the latter unlike the former,
have value after life. :
If dentist and chiropodist should engage
in an alteration, could they be said to be
Eat it tooth and nail ~ ,,5s s..s.
Our druggists are getting liberal. Buy,
seventy five cents worth of any liquid, and
they will give you yiol In.
What two animals took the least baggage
into the ark The rooster and fox, which
took brush and comb between them.
You may meet twenty men in a day who
stutter, bnt you never heard of o woman
who had an impeachment in her speech, 10
"What is the matter with Mr.. Johnson's
eyes n Why, he has injured his sight by
looking through thick bOttomed tnaabler.-
ga dreadful little for a shilling" said a
penurious- fellow to a .physian who dealt
out an enietic; "can you not give any
more ~
One reason that the world is not referni
ed is, because everybody would have
Others, make a beginning, and think not of
himself.
You cannot improve the past-improve
the present and the future. You will find
it far more profitable than spending it in
idleness.
Said an ambitious youth one day to
young lady: "Don't you think I'd better
dye my moustache 2" az think if you let
it alone it will die ITSELF" said size.
During an examination, a medical student
being asked the question, "When does
modification ensue Z" replied, "When you
pop the question and are answered no."
A learned doctor has given his opinion
that tight lacing IL . public benefit, in
as much az it kills all the foolish girls and
leaves the wise ones to grow into women.
s'My DEAR" said John, on observing new
striped hose on his only heir, "why have
you made BARRIERS poles Of Ernestis legs Z"
sBecause he's little shaver was the
reply.
A person being asked what ghost said
to him, which he pretended to have seen,
replied: Chow should I know what he
said . am not skilled in any Of the dead
languages"
violin having amused his friend with
several sonatas, observed that they were
very di6icaIt. az WISH" said the other,
''they had.been impossible"
, "Have you dined 3" said lounger to his
friend. 81 have upon my honor" replied
he. "Then," rejoined the first; "if you
have diRed apoB your honor, fear you
have made but slight repast.n
They have Mt Portland, Me-, what is
called a Widows Wood Society, 'and who
ever heard of a widow that a0ouidn'tP We
know of a widow whose husbands last
request to her was that she would remain
true to his memory, and she ,ronIdmf.
Said Lord John Russell to Mr.. Hume, at
a social dinneFs-'What do you consider
the object of legislation 2" "The greatest
good to the greatest number" "What do
you consider the greatest number 7" con-
tinued his loIdship. Number one, my
lOrd, was the commoner's prompt reply.
One of the o1d-style ministers who lives
in Connecticut, recently preached % sermon
an hour and twenty minutes long. But
with kindly consideration for modern de-.
RenSThCys nS uuu Juc uOAOiOSJ tuS
middle of the. sermon+-so that those who
were, tired could go hone.-=--
II you have q bad temper, lose it. If
good one, keep it. Ifa doubtful one, make
it certain. If q sweet one, use it for the
benefit of your friends. If jolly one,
cultivate it for examples sake and the
delectation of the community. If none at
all, avoid looking into the mirror lest you
see goose.
Leavenworth claims to be so healthy
that when recently became necessary to
''inaugurate" the new graveyard, "they
had to shoot a man on purpose" On the
other hand a Nebraska man, when asked
whether the Kansas people were fairly
honest, said, Don't know about honest
but they do say as how the folks around
take in their stone fences every night"
On a recent trip of one of the Illinois
river packets light draft one, as there
was only two feet Of water in the channel,
the passengers were startled by the cry of
ssMan Overboardi" The steamer was
= A.