The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-01-11
VAN TRUMP's LETTERS.
Written for The Democrat.
NUMBER FIVE.
ls6s--ls89.

OnlN''has saS come ana gone, likewise
hath New Years departed to the shades
of the past, and been numbered among
the things that were and are not, We
still remember them. Oh yes. We
rather reckon if your head had swellcd to
about several times its usual circumfer.
ence with insides shaking around kind Of
miscellaneous like-your eyes weeping
whole pints of briuy tears and your nose
putting on hue that rivals the ,redness
of pepper pod, you'd remember it too.
Twas ever so since chIldlood's hour: We
have been the victim Of circumstances.
and we begin to think that the older we
grow, the more circumstances rise up to
cause US to cuss muchly. This last New
Years We thought we would make a safe
thing Of it. We determined not to even
look toward the corner Grocery, much
less enterits portals; but alas for human
expectations! On that identical day on
which the old year put on the burial
robes, and sank into naught, and its
young successor, full of life and joy.
and laden with the hopes and fears Of the
quick coming future made its appearance,
barbinger Of peas to all mankind
that identical day, we say, one Of our
friends entered our domicilc, and pre-
scented to ''yours truly" demijon--we
'ay afriend Of ours, but we amt going
to say so any more, for that demijon was
the beginning of all our troubles. We
'lidn't want Mrs. Van and the little
Trumps to get inebriated, and the consc-
qucncc was, that before the Gun had sunk
down in tho West and hid his head meath
the gorgeous clouds Of molten gold, we
had succeeded in coucealing q large
quantity Of the contents Of our present
about our person. We don't want 10 be
misunderstood. We wasn't tight. oh no;
we were about as loose as a Teller gcncr-
ally gets-we were full, and we kept
getting fuller and fuller-until We fairly
stopped over. We kissed Mrs. Van be-
hind the door-a thing VIC haven't done
for-well, good many years, and that
venerable lady was SO astonishcd thereby,
that she forgot to give US the usual box
on the ear. We sat Gown in the soft and
misty moonlight which stole through the
lattice like sprays Of silver. We forgot
that the frosts Of (good many winters
had whitened our hair and stifened our
joints; and We remembered the halcyon
days Of yore, when careless Of the future
we sought the accting pleasures Of tic
hour. We remembered when the now
obese figure Of Mrs. Van was sylph-like
and girlish; when her gray hairs were
gold in the sunlight and brown in the
shade, when loves young dream was in
its spring, and affection scattered its fra
gran. flowers Ger our pathway. We
grew poetical, aud spoke thusly to Mrs.
Van: "Dost though remember love,
when meath the gentle light Of yon fair
moon, we, hand in hand, together straycd
bencath the overhanging bouyhs. and
wondered Which bright star would DO our
home when love became immortal %
Mrs. Van leaned buck in her Oh air, hor-
ror-struck for an instant. and then, just
rs we were about to continue our strain,
she seemed TO comprehend, her sweet
lips opened like tile petals Of the rose,
disclosing the pearls concealed beneath
them, aud US VIC listened, our whole soul
10 our eyes, she said, "You old fool,
you're drunk We didn't talk any more
poetry to Mrs Van that night. We
thought it would DO like unto casting
pearls before &C.. SO we rose and put on
The dignity for which we arc SO noted and
stalked out Of the house, followed by tue
rate screams Of tho aforesaid lady. We
went down town and met several Of our
young friends. Now we always liked
young especially if they are la
dies, but Oh this occasion they belonged
to the other sex. They expressed them
selves delighted to see us. and then pro
posed the following toast: "Will you
take it straight, or with sugar?' We
responded in brief but eloquent speech,
setting forth the Importance Of the occa-
sion. aud then proceeded to examine the
luminary hemisphere through the bottom
Of glass. My young friend grew ell
thusiastic over the birth OF the New Year,
which took place abou. this time,
and proceeded to relieve their con.
sciences by making good resolu-
tons; but 1 noticed that they continued
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