Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-10-01
Wise and Otherwise.

General Phil. Sheridan's reported
engagement to young lady in Bos'
ton, is now denied by the doRlOiseUe
in question, who asserts that she is
engaged to "another man."
There is good looking young fel
low in Cleveland, who says that his
mission is to marry the "Widdel
Vanderbilt when the commodore
passes in his checks"
A man in Waterbury, Conn, who
engaged carriage on Friday morn
ing to attend q funeral in the after
noon, subsequently countermanded
his order because 1.-The woman WASH t
dead yet"
A little girl who was watching the
balloon ascension at Lewiston, Me,
suddenly exclaimed: mamma. |
shouldn't think God would like to
have that man go upto Heaven
alive.N
The young man Of the period says
there is one particularly good point
in a voyage across the ocean, which
is, that one can get as tight as he
pleases every day, and everybody
thinks he's only sea sick.
The Chattanooga Enterprise wants
the national capital removed, not to
st. Louis, but to the top of Lookout
Mountain. 1t says "there only the
necessary atmosphere for pure legis-
lation can be found"
1t is told Of young lady in New
ark, that when her jealous admirer
sent back her letters with a request
that she would return his. she an
swered that she regretted that she
could not comply Immediately, as
she had lent them to young gentle
man to read.
Occasionally, when the train ar
rives at Middletown, a nice young
man jumps off and kisses the best
looking girl at the depot, supposing
her to be his sister. He apologies
so nice that the girls are getting so
they look for him regularly. Some
big brother will jam his nose yet.
Do not be troubled because you
have no great virtues. God made a
million spears of grass where he
made one tree. The earth is fringed
and carpeted, not with forests, but
with grasses. Only have enough Of
little virtues and common facilities,
and you need not mourn because you
are neither hero nor d saint.
The first chapter in a western novel
has the following: "AIl of a sudden
the fair girl continued to sit Oh the
sand, gazing upon the briny deep, on
whose heaving bosom the tall ships
went merrI.y by, freighted-ah! who
can tell with how much Of JOY and
sorrow, and pine lumber and emf.
grants, and hopes and salt fish,"
Matt. Carpenter, the eloquent Wis
consin Senator, lately sent speech
to Hon. Wendell Phillips. care Rev.
Henry Ward Reecher, Brooklyn"
Beecher sent the MSS, Gin the origi-
nal package" with the addition,
"Mr. Phillips is under my care, but
for safety L keep him in Massachu-
sets. III. W.B.n
A lady who was about to give a
party to convention of clergymen,
sent for a caterer to assist i'm making
preparations. He asked if she in
tended to give dancing party. She
replied that it was to be mainly COM
posed of clergymen. I'm that case,
madam" said he, 81 would advise
you to provide bountifully. Them
pious people eat dreadfully."
\ romantic youth, promenading in
fashionable street. picked up
thimble. He stood awhile meditat-
ing upon the probable beauty of the
owner, and pressed it to his lips, say
ing: "Oh, that it were the fair check
Of the wearer." Just then a stout |
elderly negress looked out of an up
per window, and said: "Massa, jist
please to bring that fimble of mine
in de entry-I jist drapt it,"
The ladies of Rochester, n. Y,
have organized society which holds
secret meetings for the express pur-
pose of putting an end to the social .
evil in the city. The good ladies had
finally to reject resolution which
was offered, that they would neither
associate with, nor tolerate in their
homes, any known libertine, OH the
ground that some might be obliged
to turn members of their own fam
lies out of doors.
We are informed that when the
Registry Board of Maine township
met OH the first of this month, a gem
Llemen with the "sweet Irish bro
que" who had moved to this
county from Dubuque within the
past year, appeared and asked to
have his name registered. He was
Isked wether he had ever been nat
lrllzed. and the reply was "yis cirt-
MY" He was then requested to
produce his papers, when he replied
that he had "yoted often in Dubuque
and his papers were there" Being
questioned a little closer by some one
who doubted his citizenship he ac-
that he had never been
Then came the inquiry
about his having voted often
in Dubuque, when he replied
by saying faith, an emmy man can
vote in Dubuque who has been there
twinty days, and he'd be Id if
bed give five dallars for votin' pa
persayhen they were all unnissisary."
Marion Register.
An exchange gives the following:
Once upon time a gentlemen
ound in his henrosst simple min
led individual of the vicinage, who
lived without visible means of sup
port.
What are you doing here, you
rascal? Stealing my chickens?"
"No sir'' was the response; "ain't
thot of doiI.' nuthin of the sort ?"
1t unfortunately happened that
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