Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-02-12

An untoftuDa'e attacnment-lna
of the Siamese Twins.
Another New Reading-Man pro-
| poses, but woman accepts.
India expects the famine scenes OF
eight years ago.
There are 500 applicants for posi-
ton of gate keeper Of the Auburn
prison.
An excellent cure for dyspepsia is
to give hungry dog a piece of meat,
and chase him till he drops it.
Bald, headed nen take n joke more
easily, because they are not at the
trouble of getting it through their
hair"
Mamma" said q promising youth
Of four or five summers, elf all peo-
pie are made of dust, amt colored
men made out Of coal.dnst?"
A little Boston school girl, being
requested to explain how Congress is
divided, announced in confident
triumph ,"Civilized, halfcivilized
and sarage!"
A clerk in mercantile establish
ment writes to his friends at home
"Plaguey easy times now-a-days-
very little work to do-our firm don't
ADVERTISE
A pig in Ossian, Livingston county,
New York, recently swallowed
lady's tooth brush, and it was not
discovered until the animal was
dressed for market.
When Grant was ut Baltimore he
raised a laugh by saying s"smoking
was not n vice, or the admiral would
smoke" Farragut retorted that he
was .'no longer vice admiral"
A man very much intoxicated was
sent TO Jail. "Why did you not bail
him out?' inquired bystander of a
friend. bail him out !" exclaimed
the other; "why, you couldn't pump
him OUT
1t is proposed by Mr.. Pickering,
the velocipedc maker, to obviate rail-
way accidents by sending man on
a velocipede ahead of every train to
give warning of any danger that he
may discover on the track.
The tendency of people to carry
quotations too, far was illustrated, i'm
n prayer meeting the other day by a
brother exc!aiming, in an agony of
piety, 80 Lord have mercy upon Us
poor sinners of which | am chief
ten thousand, and altogether
lovelyn
Brick Pomeroy says that elf the
New York Legislature should adopt !
the proposition now before il to com
pei newspapers to publish the mum |
Der OF their circulation. their next ,
should be to compel man !
to write on his collar the length of
his Shirt"
1t is the Boston Post which declares
that New York has become so
wicked that they have been obliged
to widen He'll Gate" The Post may
he just i'm its inference, because the
object of the widening is to make
broader the road TO Boston.-NeW
York Times.
A rather fast youth was relating
The experience of his voyage across
he ocean to a sympathizing friend.
Said he, II tell you what, old fellow,
there's one good thing about it though,
you can get as tight as you please
every day everybody thinks you're
,nly seasick! !"
Quin WAS one day lamenting that
ne grew old, when shallow, imper-
,inent young fellow said TO him:
"What would you give TO be as
ioung as amp"
"By the powers" replied Quin. 81
would even submit to he almost as
ioolish."
An old gentleman waiting for a
train i'm the great depot in Chicago
said 10 by.stander: "Only
.hfnk of il! But a little over thirty
years ago / was offered eighty acres
Of land, on part of which this depot
Is now built, for sorrel horse and
saddle, aud l was fool enough to
keep the sorrel.
A clergyman and one of the elderly
were walking home from
one frosty day, when theold
gentleman clipped and fell upon his
back. The minister on being as.
sured that he was not hurt, said to
him: my friend, sinners stand Oh