davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
Speech Of Zacllarian Spicer.

On the question, (Which enjoys tne
greatest amount Of happiness, the bachelor
Or the married man ?"
MIR. President and Gentlemen, riae to
advocate tho cause of the married man.
And why should not? claim to know
something about the institution do.
Will any gentleman pretend to say do
not? Let him accompany me home. Let
me confront! him with my wife and seven
teen small children, and decide.
High rs the Rocky Mountains tower
above the Mississippi Valley, doest the mar
ried man tower above that of the bachelor.
What YVES Adam before lie got acquainted
with Eve? What hut poor, shiftless.
helpless creature? No more to becompared
with his after self than mill dam to the
roaring cataract Of Niagara. (Applause.)
Gentlemen there was tiG,e, l blush TO
say, when / was u bachelor; and more
miserable creature you could hardly expect
TO find. Every day I toiled hard, and at
night came homo TO my comfortless gar
ret-no carpet, no fire, no nothing. Ev-
erything was in a cluster, and in tho words
Ut the poet
'.Confuson Was monarch Of all I surveyed
Here lay pair of dirty pants, there a
dirty pair Of boots, there n dirty play bill
and here pile of dirty clothes. What
wonder that took refuge at the gaming
table and bar-room. found it would new
er do, gentlemen, and in a lucky moment
I vowed to reform. Scarcely had the prom
Use passed my lips, when q knock was
heard at my door, and in camo Susan
Simpkins after my dirty clothes.
''Mr. Spicer," says she. "I've washed for
you for six months, and haven't seen the
first red cent in the way of payment. Now
I'd like to know what you are going to do
about it."
I felt in my pocketbook. There was
nothing in it, and I knew it we'll enough.
''Miss Simpkins," said I, cts no use
denying it, I haven't got the stamps.
wish for your sake had"
''Then," said she, promptly, II don't
wash another rag for YOU"
''Stop," said I. ''Susan, will do the
best can for you. Greenbacks I have
none; but if my heart and hand will do,
they are at your service"
''Are you in earnest" says she, looking a
little suspicious.
"Ncyer more so, says /.
Then" says she, 'as there seems to be
no prospect OF getting my pay any othe1
way guess I'll take up with your offer"
Enough, said I. We we're married in {
week; and what's more. VIC haven't hat
cause to repentit. No more attics for me-
gentlemen. live in good house an6
have somebody to mend my clothes. -
When was a poor, miserable bachelor
gentlemen, I used to be as thin Us a wea
sci. Now am as plump as a poker.
In conclusion, gentlemen, if you wan
to be poor, ragged fellow, without coa
to your back or a shoe to your feet; if yor
want to grow old before your time, and un
comfortably generally Us a Hedgehog
rolled up the wrong way" advise you t
remain a bachelor; if you want to live de
Gently and respectfully, get married. w
got ten daughters, gentlemen, (overwhel
ming applause), and You may have you
pick.
Mr. Spicer sat dawn amid loud and con
timed plau1its. The generous propose
s0ns-in.1ow
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
Seiluction-A Doctor on Il Luicksicp.

EFOLI Auo 4OlcUO NOIuIueTClIls aug. ~.
The village Of Elmore, Ottawa county,
was treated to quite q sensation few
days since. A physician in that place
formed the acquaintance OF a young lady,
and by constant attentions md studied et-
fort, succeeded finally in winning her
affections, after which he accomplished her
ruin. Not content with this villainous
proceeding, he induced the confiding
young woman to go before magistrate
and make oath that a young man residing
in the village was the author of her dis
grace. Soon after the birth Of the child,
it became evident that the mother could
not live. She was informed of this fact
by her physician, when she ex-
pressed desire to have magistrate called
in. The justice of the peace called, when
sheagain made oath, stating MI the facts in
the case. The citizens of the village were
so indignant Mt the conduct Of the physi-
clan that they Mt once organized n vigilance
committee and gave the offender few
hours i'll which to make his departure. He
left On Monday last, however he re-
turned, when the village women held q
meeting, and some thirty-fve or forty of
them resolved to visit summary punish
ment upon the scoundrel if he did not leave
inst antcr. Our informant thinks tho doc
tor did not like to have them perform q
surgical operation ON his person, and
therefore took his departure again.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

The Indian LANGUAGES.

At the recent pathological convention at
Poughksepsie, j. II. Trulnbull, of Hartford,
Ct, the we'll known student Of Indian an
tiquities and tongues, and Rev. Joseph
Hurlbut, for forty years MOravinn mis-
sionary among the Indians of Canada, and
who has spent fifteen years in preparing an
Indian grammar, gave some very interest
ing information about what are generally
regarded as the barbarous languages of the
North American aborigines. MIR. Trunbull
considered it cause of regret that so
much of the material for studying the na-
tive languages OF America is useless, and
that much of the time and labor Of the
scholar must from this reason be wasted.
Much time and patience have been wasted
in showing the resemblance between the
Indian and the Hebrew languages,
whereas few hours of careful study
would show that no such resemblance
existed. The time may come when u
connection between the Indian languages
of Central Europe may be demonstrated,
languages differ from the Indo-Europcan,
both in their structure and plan of thought.
In the English language the analytic char
acter has attained its highest point; in the
Indian language the tendency is synthetic,
and has attained very high de-
gree in this respect. The speaker
quoted single Indian word, the
translation of which required five Eng
glish words, as an example of the synth-
etc character of the Indian language
This tendency to synthesis is not limited
to grammatical structure, but extends away
back to the roots of the language. There
was no Indian word which WAS the precise
equivalents of the English words to 90,
though there are plenty signifying to go
away; to go by land, etc. Yet the stand
ard vocabularics are based on the ground
that such equivalent exist. Rev. Mr. Hurl-
but said he had spent forty years among
the Indians, and had become SO familiar
with the Ojibway language as to dream in
it; and the Indians insisted that he was not
white man, but an Indian with white
skin. Mr.. Hurlbut claimed that the In
dian languages are marvellous, and not the
nero 'bow-bow" sounds that many per-
sons think them to be. In many respects
they are similar to the Turkish language,
AMI in infection of every form surpass our
own. The number of roots appears to be
small, but the notifications OF them, by
using suftixes and prefxes, were almost in
finite; he had made a calculation of the
number Of notifications to which one sim
gle word could be subjected, each having
different meaning, and the result was
thirty-two millions. At tho close he an
nounced his intention of revising his gram
mar, which he hopes to do in about two
VaarS
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
4lottr''.
To FAR NJ k.Jf RONS.

.s-.,n sic, Of lo"inG in tho corn
Ar., t,IIrvlr ;9r pillow;
ni vmE.:.. hard lvuH 'icwy mcrn
T,i.,v,. with heated brow;
No' ;t&,; viii stay to NOV
Or uI II tho srrat II hI.,
I, tn great city Will 30,
Where w"altl is gained 10y Flay.''' p.
Tut. tut my man. hush MP that song;
Let Wisdom h' y,,nr guide:
ri.t ,lrr;,n ut wealth my lead you wrong
NhI w,,.'k You ON th' tile.
~ .,"wn with me upon this stone:
l,r,r team will take ny harm;
!; We amt kings upon throne,
We're Hugs upon farm.
cons healthy hrcczrs round you blow,
HIS birds your music make,
And Sweetest rest is ynnr", ytN know.
Nltn:t nj at doth .'v,'rt.!k'.
Inv harvest viii !"nr tml repay;
M, So fields If MINin.! rain
4" ,,r,.vin tiir",';t 'j;'' ~n'tN day
N,nt IA i,!.' Summer RAIN.
Mon wnr% "A hard As You. in shade
or boss aut ,'l"rs bent;
lin. work cf life is easy made
,f!A> by sweet content:
|, may I've news. my friend. to yoi.
Eut =" the truth |, II.
Al Mrii Is very hard To- do
Ia ln,,%r Who do it ", IL.
IN speculation Nn,l must :tand
Tho r,n I'll c"'nmrrrinl shocks:
l"u may IN safety l., :lrh the isnd.
You Nay LAW on llu. rr.'h>'
~ i,tN Ifr', rt!ln on to iir,n.
In,ul"I rain MAY Mrl l"' solid,
~ lMui'- Nun ir''i no alarm.
Nh,,t is :.s ,'nnl ~ gold.
Eek up vnlr wliN. and hid Your team
nr..; ru IL" mobile NlnW.
An.l ,lr i.t let an i I,' dream
Er.!uuI >ut = youthful brow.
In wear: ~ rriur, wl!ru .hl,lrrn roam.
Nw'll TIKI, tiirm Ivy the arm
Ari NY. ''you,l y, tar ~tav at homo
NON thu. so. 1 old i,ru,. -
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
Amusing Paragraphs.

An individual the other day went to
ono Of the drug stores in Boston and called
fora pint of whiskey,, claiming that he
wanted to put it OH some roots for medi
cine. lie obtained the wlliskcy and imme-
tliatcly raised the bottle to his lips and inn
bibcd gro WI persons dose ofthe ardent.
The drug clerk demonstrated with the GUS
toner for his duplicity, and was informed
that it WAS the roots Of his tongue for
whsh he desired the whiskey.
Contempt of court was alleged ngains
q Texas lawyer, and fifty dollar fine i'm
posed. Afterwards the judge RENTED the
iinc OF: tho grounds that the man was
drunk and was natural fool, and the
court record gives the reasons for the re-
mission.
Why is newspaper like wife, Be-
cause every man should have one of his
own. But suppose one can't get one OF
his own2
A young lady who was rebuked by her
mother for kissing her intended, justified
the act by quoting the passage: "Whatso.
ever We would that lnen should do unto
you, 10 ye even SO to them.''
"A mo account" wife is tho best. She
never runs up any bills. Bill Smith says
that mint so. His wife amt OF 'no &C.
count" but shoruns up lots OF little Bills.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

WHIPPING. OxEN-It is II cruel and gen.
orally useless act of bar1arisn to whip OK
eli; yet many farmers ore in the habit of
continually keeping the whip going when
teaminS their cattle. Instead of inviting
the animals to exeltiol by proper words,
the first imitation the poor crelturers have
from their master that he desires them to
start, is the cut Of the whip or prick from
the goad. This is not only savage but
absolutely wicked: and wholly unneces-
sary. Another practice that is often seen
i, that Of pounding and thrashing the
oxen because they don't readily back a
load, when they have not been learned to
lack an empty cart down hill. I have no
doubt that the selling value Of many a
yoke of oxen is depreciated from twenty
five to seventy-five dollars by being abused
in this way. If animals aro desired to
work, they must first be taught to work,
and when they understand what is wanted
Of them, they will cheerfully comply. But
there is better way to communicate your
desires to them than through the whip.
Kindness and skillful management is far
better. Remember that "a lncrciful man
is mcrciful to his beast. "-7he People.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
Weather and Crop Items

AT Louisville the weather on the 23d
was intensely hot, andmuch suffering from
drouth.s Only half Il crop of tobacco is ex-
pected. Corn looks shriveled.
Accounts from all sections of Mary
land represent that drOuth is prevailing to
an alarming extent. No rain has fallen for
weeks in some counties. The farmers des-
pair of making over half a crop, Of corn,
and potato vines have become parchcd and
dried up before maturity. The tobacco crop
is suffering dreadfully.
In Western Tennessee the weather is
intensely hot. News from the valley region
gives unfavorable accounts Of cotton on the
hills and uplands. The crop will be short.
Corn and cotton are both suffering for rain
in many localities.
NO rain has fallen in Nashville since
the 9Th. The crops Of corn and cotton in
that county arc badly injured. In many
counties of Middle Tennessee the same
state of affairs prevails, though timely
rain may yet bring both crops out oil right.
The drouth is only partial, and though it
may continue it is believed that average
crop will be made.
The crops in Western Pennsylvania
have not been excellcd in growth and sub
stance since 1855. The potato crop will
suffer somewhat from rot, caused by drouth
bnt everything else, including fruit is album
dant and good. There has been plenty of
rain.
Louisiana the crop prospects are
reported to be good. Rust and premature
opening of the balls of cotton, on account
OF the lrouth, are reported in somc sec
tons, but on the whole the cotton crop is
reported favorable.
Not drop of rain has fallen at Phi!a-
dclphia since August 4tl, tho night OF the
great whisky fire, nor have any accounts OF
rain been received from the interior except
ofn short thunder-showcr on Saturday last
about thirty miles up the Schuylkill. All
reports agree as to the damage to corn
from drought in this state.
The weather and crop reports from the
leading localities in tho south, west and
east, generally report hot and dry weather,
which in some sections has been greatly
prolonged. All accounts represent the corn
and tobacco crops as greatly injured, and
short one fourth to one-half of last years
yield.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

DEATH FROM USING HAIR Dye. DIR. ]. NJ.
Withcrwnx, al old and esteemed citizen of
Davenport, Iowa, and prominent man in
his profession, died sometime last June,
after Il painful illness. 1t was announced
ut tho time that his disease WIS chronic
diarrhoel, but it appears from tho report OF
a committee appointed by the Medical AS
sociation of that city, to look into tho mat
ter and ascertain the true cause, TINT death
was caused by tho use Of hair dye 1t up
pears that for some time previous to his
death the Doctor la been using COM
pound upon his hair aud whiskcrS that coy
tanned Il solution Of lead. A post mo'ten.
examination reveals tho fact that the lead
had entered the system through tho roots
Of the hair in poisonous Quantities, and its
presence was detected in the vital organs.
The nature Of the dye is given, but it is az
serted that lead is used in all huir dyes.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

A German lady in Chicago has proba-
bly, the largest pearl in the world. 1t is OF
oval shape, about two inches long and one
wide, and so Immensely valuab Q that a
purchaser cannot DO found in this country.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

Amos Skecter, q well-known resident
Of Chicago, and fine singer, was instantly
killed ut the fremont House, on the 18th,
by Il stranger, Who became angry at his at-
tentions
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

Chang and Eng, the Siamese TWINS
have seventeen chiIdren-njue on one side
and eight on the otter.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

"A Cincinnati gentleman has bought ten
thousand acres OF land in Tennessee upon
which to establish a colony,
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
A Very UbtuSe Witness.

WY V"uSV
Pat Fogerty went all the way from Man.
chester to London to thrash Mick Fitzpnt-
rick, winding mp the performance with the
assistance OF an lawful horseshoe" Hc
was detected and brought before Justice.
4 part OF the examination is annexed:
Court. Well, sir, you came from Man
chester, did you?
Pat. Your Honor has answered correct.
Court. You see the compliments head;
it IVES cut with sharp instrument. Do
You know what cut it2
Pat. Amt your Honor after saying a
sharp instrument did?
Court becoming restive). see yon
mean to cquivocate. Now, sir, you cut
that head; You came here to court, did You
not? Now, sir, what motive brought you
to London?
Pat. The locomotive, sir!
Court (waxing warm.) Equivocating
again, you scoundrel; (raising up tho horse
shoe and holding it before Pat) do you see
this horseshoe, sir?
Pat Is it a horseshoe, your Honor ?
Court. Don't you sec it is, sir? Are you
blind? Can you not ell at once that it is
a horse -shoe2
Pat Bedad, no, your Honor.
Court (angrly). MOI
Pat No, your Honor; but can yerself
tell?
Court. OF course can, you stupid Irish
man!
Pat (soliloquizing aloudD. Oh glory be
to goodness, see what education is, your
Honor; sure poor ignorant creature like
myself wouldn't know q horseshoe from a
mares.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
Muhlfield'S Great Memory.

Muhlfeld, the liberal Austrian Represen-
tative, who died last year, had most re-
markable memory. A writer in Ncue Freie
Press relates that when they had q imam
cial report he would deliver the greatest
column Of figures, without tho slightest cr-
ror, from memory, having no notes. because
his weakness of sight, nearly approaching
blindness, rendered it impossible for him
to read printed or written matter. He has
been known to read three pages Of printed
statistical matter On the register Of landed
property and its revenues, entirely from
memory, and without an error. AS advo
cate he would sometimes have dozen
cases on hand, and at tho same time would
perform his duties rs a member OF the va
rious committees and commissions in Par
lament, engaged with the most heterogcn-
GUS and voluminous projects for laws, &c.
lie had, besides, the whole current Austri-
an code of laws in memory, and the
required paragraph, with its number and
exact words, were ever ut command.
His power of memory became greater
with his increasing weakness Of sight. In
his fiftieth year, when engaged rs counsel
lor, he would make notes Of the proceed
ings; but when he became nearly blind he
trusted to his memory alone. he heard
the case read to him weeks before; and,
though he was engaged with a hundred
other things before tho day of trial came
on, when lie stood up he was perfectly
ready, and knew everything by heart. Not
the slightest variation in the testimony OF
a witness, given even at a weeks interval
could escape him; he had not to refer for
what had been said; he had it on his ton
gues end. His memory is held in great es-
teen by all classes Of Anstrians.
A MAGNIFICENT PRESENT has been made
to the Historical Society of st. Louis by
Mr.. j. G.. Barlow and his wife, daughter
OF Mr.. Augustc Chonteau, jr. 1t consists
of three oil portraits of Pierre Laclcdo
Liguest and Augusta Chouteau, the two
founders OF tho city Of St. Louis, and Of
the old Madame Chouteau, the ancestress
of tue whole Choutcau family. Of Liguest
and Mudame Chouteau these are tho only
pictures in existence, and no amount OF
money could have bought them. Pierre
Laclede Ligucst was tho man who gave the
name to St. Louis in 1864, after having put
up his business house on tho block on
Main street, directly in front of where the
Merchants Exchange now stands; and
Mr.. Augustc Choutcau cut the FIRST trcc on
the Place dArmcs, which, was the square
on which tho same Exchange is now
erected.
"A young English naturalist has lately
purchased tho valuable collection OF birds
eggs of Prof. Herman, OF Philadelphia,
comprising upwards OF 1000 specimens,
and also that of Edward A. Samucls Of
Boston, numbering moro than 1900 Both
collections will DO forwarded to England.
The following advice is given bya med
ical publication: "Ncvcr enter sick room
in n moment Of perspiration, as tho mo-
mcnt you become cool your pores absorb.
Do not approach contagious disease with
M empty stomach; nor sit between the
sick and the fire. because the heat attracts
the vapsr."
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

"A young English naturalist has lately
purchased tho valuable collection Of birds
eggs OF Prof. Herman, Of Philadelphia,
comprising upwards OF 1000 specimens,
and also that of Edward A. Samucls. Of
Boston, numbering moro than 1900. Both
collections will be forwarded to England.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

A Homo Kong correspondent of the San
Francisco Bulletin calls attention to the
horrible traffic in Chinese women for Cali
fornia. Within two years it is estimated
that twenty thousand women have been
kidnapped in the Tonquin empire, and
within Que missionary district six hundred
have disappeared dnring the last year. Tho
scenes attending tho landing OF these wo-
men ut tho San Francisco wharvcs have
been fully described. The manner in which
they are obtained for export and the pur-
pose for which they arc intended being
known, the California authorities ought to
be able to devise some remedy.
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
The following advice is given bya med

:--1nc 1oI16w1nt5 7tte1cc !!!sfeennyH f7eu=
icnl publications. ''Ncvcr enter a sick room
in moment Of perspiration, as the mo-
mcnt you become cool your pores absorb
Do not approach contagious disease with
an empty stomach; nor sit between the
sick and the fire, because the heat attracts
the vapor,"
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02

Cleveland has female club Of billiard
players known rs the white stockings
Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-09-02
An Ancient Indian Maiden.

The Sioux City Times has the following
penograph OF one of the lovely women ma
tive to the Iowa forest.
IA Winnebago squaw, whose name is
Pee-kwa.no, or ''Smiling River may be
seen in this city, two or three afternoons
during the week. We saw her yesterday,
promena1ing up and down Pearl street,
endeavoring to dispose of a big cat fish she
hod captured in the Big Sioux. The lady
OF whom we speak has attained the remark
rble ago Of III years, and some
of the members of her tribe assert
that sho is even older than that.
Pee-kwa-no is not handsome. Judging
from present appearances, we should judge
she never was cxquisitely beautiful. She
trots around rs spry as a young girl in her
teens, sells berries in their season, aud gem
orally manages, in one way or another,
to pick up money enough to buy tobacco,
whiskey, and the other necessaries OF life
among the Indians. The ancient damsel
is the mother OF thirty-tive children, and
number Of grandchildren. From present
appearances, We should judge that she
would live two or three hundred years
longer or less"
LOST Boy FOUND Some :, ears ago,
says the New Orleans Picayune, gentle
man named Paul Escott, resident Of New
Orleans, but formerly living in France, lost
his little son, lad OF ten years of age, from
q vessel off the Canary Islands. 1t was
night At the time and although every pos
sihle excrtion was made to rescne the boy,
yet they were unsuccessful, and the little
fellow was given up for lost. Shortly after
ward the family came to New Orleans, and
in timo the grief Of the parents for the loss
ofthcir son became only sorrow living in
their memories. lie was dead, they Thought,
and griet could not bring him back to
life. But he was not dead. lie Ind got
possession of one of the planks thrown ont
to him; and although missing bis friends,
was picked up the next day by m English
vessel. In this ship he made the voyage
to China, and, failing to communicate with
his family on his return, continued in the
employment Of the vessel for several years.
At last, learning the whereabouts of his
family, he reached this city in quest OF them
u. few days since. The joy which the ap-
pcaranco of one they had long considered
dead can, as the novelists say. be more
easily imagined thar described. It was
like one risen from the grave, and discloses
!, series of incidents rs fruitful of romance
rs often engages the pen Of the novelist and