The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1869-02-26

| Pennsylvania Dutchman2
During the recent earthquakes, on the Pa
cifc Coast and on the Sandwich Islands, a
tidal wave Travelled to the Oregon coast, q
idistaDce Of about five thousand miles, in five
hours, and reached the California ard Mex
lean coast, distance of about three thousand
FIVE hundred miles, in three and one-half
hours. Do tidal waves travel at that rate
i'nost every time or are they sometimes de.
iaycd on account of the weather?
Is Hole in the Day. a drunken Indian
Chief; and if so, who defunked him ard how
was it did9
Who was the man that first ate an oyster;
the heft and size of the man and oyster2
Could he balance ladder in the open air,
climb to the top of the ladder and the pull
the ladder up after him, and if not, would
like 10 know why7 on centrifugal, ceptri-
petal, elcctricitaI, and anti-spasmodical
grounds.
Is once one two, or is it only one?
Werelhe Pyramids built by PlacO NJ yker-
mermus' or son of the 'old man by the
same name?
Is the sun ninety-five millions of miles
from the earth, or only small matter Of
ninety-three millions, as has been recently
demonstrated2 Who is to blame?
Who was the father of John Smith?
Do Secretary Wells and McCulloch both
wear hoops, and if so, are they of the same
style and pattern as those worn by the Great
Jefferson. the twctb,' during the recent re-
bellion?
Do politics and education mix, and if so,
does it mix good and easy, and how much
is usually considered enough for good
square batchT
What do the cabalistic letters G. R. J. A.
stand for, (have been puzzled myself to tell.
l have thought it must mean something in
telIectually 'hugeous, and therefore have
concluded it must mean school examining
boards, in general aud some in particular
Sometimes think it does, aud then again l
think it don't; and the more l think it don,
somehow the more l seem to think it does
Paws for reply.
Are school teacher examining committees
any like the what is it, or the bearded
woman, that candidates generally have to
pay a second admission fee of half dollar,
to see them, in order to obtain certiica;e?
1t is noticeable fact that the second half
dollar and the second iDpection of the learn
ed G.. R. J. AS, usually bring the necessary
dOcuments,-query, who pockets the extra
half dollar? Echo answers who?
Does teacher, after. teaching school, and
receiving certificates for ten years, necessar-
lily become idiotic from those numerous ex-
sminations, so that ia the eleventh year,
certificate cannot be obtained. Is softening
of the brain the inevitable result of a series
of examinations, before the learned G. R !
j. A.'s7
Is Andy JohnsOn's circle part of the
whisky ring or are there two rings If |
there are two rings, it is we'll understood |
that the fGleat Andrew owns, holds, and |
individually claims-with none to dispute
the titlo-the circle he swung on. II the |
'Hhisky ring is another circle. how near the
center Is ANDREW the Great basing yonr
calculations on three barley corns to the inch |
according to DabOll, aud selecting the lar
gest and longest grains pOssible-wishing to
be generous-in order to do ths Great An
drew justice and bring him as far from the /
center as possible.
In making scientific experiment, with
chemical preparations, or otherwise, is it nee
cassary to bust things and iuiure few
anxious searchers after wisdom, as practi-
cal illustration of the danger attending ex-
pIosions in general and the imminent risk
Of getting an eye put out byfl'ustratipg
with explosive materials that you don't
quite understand yourself
IT. in the laudable eudeavor, in 1867, to
make 'greenbacks' little better than gold
by contracting the currency, the great U MON
party lest the States of Ohio, Pennsylvania
and New York, and few others, and only [
reduced the premium on gold from 43 TO 35 {
per cent, how many States and Territories
would we have to lose, in order to bring 1
gold down--tp make it mild-say to 25 per S
cent. ID
Does Secretary McOulloch belong to the I
financial clique, ifso how much in Lincoln {
tags does he realize as share of his profits, Is
resulting from 'tightness in the money 9
market, and what proportion Of the net pro-
ceeds does he convert into 3x4's for his own t
use? If Secretary Nc. salts away, for his t
private use, several hundred and One-and- {
a-balf Skis, out of one of those financial III
panics;' how many thousands, when oonver- a
ted into SxIO's, would the business commu- a
nifty lcse by this, too frequently occurring,
here you have it. and there you lose it, of a
the little financial joker?
Ifa tidal wave travels at the rate Of one f
thousand miles per hour and is called an 10
earthquake tidal wave, could the recent cleo T
tion be called political tidal wave, and if c
50, wasn't it a 'whopper' and how many y
square inches per second did it travel, TAX a
ing Uncle Simuels' little dominions into u
consideration, making liberal deductions for a
ponds, lakes, rivers, sugar and mud creeks, Ii
and few of the deepest mud holes. d
Are mud turtles insects or reptiles? And C
are there any suckers besides myself, and 81
those that come up the SanduskY river in b
the spring? Can sucker turn back sum- o.
ersault over Moore d Deans dam, two times
out of three? The length of the dam aud the tt
centrifugal force required to participate the 70
sucker way over the DAM m
Is there place in California called Youba pl
Dam, and did man get 'whalloped' when W
asked the name of that particular locality OF
Was the man who got 'whaled' large or Ell
small man and how many fbs. could he Al
lold out at arms length-no Grecian bend t'l
It the elbow. w
Is it easier To ask few questions that you -
lappen to know the solution of, or TO answer 'S
few that you don't happen to know! VI
| would mildly suggest, should any candi- |ou
late for school teaching answer most all the ~
bove questions correc tly they should be en- y
tiled to a laTge-s;zed, full grown leather 81 |,
nedal; also a certificate sealed and delivered :
D proper address, with authority unlimited u
D teach the juvenile idea how to shoot, for a. a
bout six weeks, in the summer with fine W
hance to view the examining committees o'i
heels on the desk at so cents a sight, two "
at the same price, 'Niggers' and o0'
hildren under I9l5 years of age, no admit
luce-nO cards.
Should teacher answer 9I-63 of the H'
hove ouestions II would he n UaOd idea to