Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-09-02
Christopher Colombo.

The following is from Mark Twain's New
Pilgrims Progress The party amused
themselves, and nearly drove the guide
crazy, at Genoa, by pretending utter stu
pidity anG indifference to any wonders he
had to show. After this style;
"The guides in Genoa are delighted to
secure an American party, because Ameri-
cans so much wonder and deal 50 much in
sentiment and emotion, before any relic of
Columbus, Our guide there tidgeted about
as if he had swallowed a spring mattress.
He was full of animatiOn-tull Of impa
thence. He said:
"'COme wis me, genteelmen come
show you re letter writing by Christopher
Colombo write it himself write it wis
his own hand !-comc!
d" He took us to the municipal palace.
After much impressive fumbling Of keys
and opening of locks, the stanedand aged
document was spread before us. The
guides eyes sparkled. He danced about
us and touched the parchment with his
finger.
"What tell you, genteelmen! Is it
not so2 See handwriting Christopher
Colombo write it himself?
The doctor examined the document very
deliberately, during painful pause. Then
he said, without any show of interest;
erguson-what-w did you
say was the name of the party who wrote
thisg
Christopher Colombo zegreat Chris.
topher Colombo?
Another deliberate examination,
"Ah--did he write it himself or--or
how
"'Ie write it Observation-Disclosures
Colombo, he's own hand writing, write
by himself!
"Then the doctor laid the document
down, and said
"Why have seen boys in America,
only IA years old, that could write better
than that
SO But lis is re great ChristO-'
al don't care who it is It's the worst
writing | ever saw Now, you must not
think you can impose on us because we
are strangers. We are no fools, by good
deal If you have got any sIecimens Of
penmanship Of real merit, tro them out
and if you haven't drive on,
1--WE drove ON. The guide vas consid-
erably shaken up, but he mad one more
venture He had something which he
thought would overcome us He said:
"'Ah, genteelmen, you cone wis me !
| show you beautiful, o, magnificent bust
Christopher Colombo! splendid, grand,
magnificent
"He brought us before th beautiful
bust-for it anas beautitul-and sprang
back and struck an attitude
"'Ah, look, genteelmen - beautiful,
grand-bust Christopher Colombo beau
titul bust, beautiful pedestalr
The doctor put up his eyeglass--pro-
cured for such occasions:
"'Ah, what did you say this gentleman's
name was?
"Chrstopher Colombo re great
Christopher Colombor
Christopher Colombo-the great
Christopher Colombo. Well, what did he
doY
Discover America discover Ameri-
ca. Oh, re devil =
"Discover America. No--that state
ment will hardly wash. We are Just from
America ourselves. We heard nothing
about 1t. Christopher Colombo-pleasant
name-is--is he dead p
"Oh, corpo di Baccho $40 years ,
"'What did he die Off
"'I do not know Il cannot tell
GO Smallpox, think? 2
al do not know, genteelmen Il do
not know obat he die OFF,
:" Measles, likelyY
"'May be-may bel do not know
think he die of something's,
Parents liyingY
"'Im.posseeble 7
"Ah-which is the bust and which is
the pedestal?'
"Santa Maria !-sis re bust !--zis re ped
estal ~
"Ah, | see, | see--happy combination
very happy combination, indeed Is
this the first time this gentleman was ever
on a bustY"