Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1869-04-22
Amusing.

| r A CHRISTIAN GENTLEMAN.-A mod
ern paper thus describes the Christian
gentleman: He is above mean thing.
de cannot stoop to mean fraud. He
invades no secret in the keeping of
another; he betrays no secret confined
to his keeping. He never struts in bor-
rowed plumage. He never takes selfish
advantage of our mistakes. He uses no
ignoble weapons in controversy. He
never stabs in the dark. He is ashamed
of innuendoes. He is not one thing to
mans face, and another behind his
back. If by accident he comes in pos
session of his neighbours counsels, he
passes upon them an act of instant OBJ
livion. He bears sealed packages with
out tampering with the wax. Papers
not meant for his eye, whether they
flntter at his window or lie open before
him in qngarded exposure, are sacred to
him. He invades no privacy of others,
however the sentry sleeps. Bolts, locks
and keys, hedges and pickets, bonds
and securities, notice to trespassers, are
none of them for him. He may be trust
ed, himself out of sight, near the thinest
partition, anywhere. He buys no offices.
he sells none, intrigues for none. He
would rather fail of his rights than win
them through dishonor. He will eat
honest bread. He tramples on no sensi-
tive feeling. He insults no man. If he
have rebuke for another, he is straight
forward, open, manly. He cannot de-
scend to scurrility. In short, whatever
he judges honorable, he practices to-
wards every man.
A DISAPPOINTED ATHLETE.-An
amusing incident is related of the Rev.
Mr.. Wise, one of the first ministers in
Essex County, Mass. 1t seems that Mr..
Wise, being famous wrestler, was ac-
costed one morning by Mr.. Chandler,
when the following conversation oc-
curred:, fr.r ---flls...t- a.l lsc
-"Sir, my name is Chandler, of the
town of Andover; hearing you were
famous for wrestling, and having myself
some success in thatway, having thrown
all in our region, 1 have come all the
way from Andover to take hold with
you.
''No objection to that" was the pleas
ant reply. They take hold in earnest;
and, after few struggles, Mr.. Chandler
is laid upon his back. He is not satisfied,
and wishes for another trial: the result
is, that Mr.. Wise not only lays him a
second time, but gently puts him over
the fence into the street. H.--
"And now," says Mr.. c., eff YOU will
just throw my horse over after me, will
go along" hIs -.. s..
THE SIGNs.-For the benefit of the su-
persitions, we give the. following trans
lations of the signs Of the times, all of
which are true: If you break looking
glass, it is sure sign you will get an
other. Ifyou help yourself to piece of
butter when you have already piece on
your plate, it is certain sign you
will have two pieces. Never start
to go anywhere or to do anything on
Friday. because you cannot get a great
way before Sunday. If you drop fork.
and it sticks in the floor, it is Sign it is
q good fork. Ifyou spill salt, it is a sure
sign that you will have a salt-room. If |
you drop dish-cloth on the floor, it is a |
sure sign you have to pick it up again. |
i you crawl through fence it is sign |
that you are too lazy to climb over. If |
you hear dog howl, it's sign he feels |
bad. If you. hear death watch, it is a
sure sign there are bugs around. If you
iream of your grandfather or grand
mother, and all the distant relatives of
your family, it's certain sign that YOU
ste too much for supper.
In Arkansas, Elder Knapp, while bap-
izing converts at revival meeting, ad-
Tanced with wiry. sharp-eyed old chap
nto the water. He asked the usual
question, whether there was any reason
Why the ordinance of baptism should
lot be administered. After a pause.
all, powerful-looking chap, with an eye
Ike blaze, who was leaning on long
if1e, and quietly looking on. remarked.
Elder, don't want to interfere in this
'er business any, hut want to say that
an old sinner you have got hold of,
nd know that one dip won't do him
ny good. If you want to get the sin
ut OF him you'll have to anchor him
ut In deep water over night"
Never despise counsels. from whatever
uarter they reach you. Remember that
ne pearl is keenly sought for, in spite of
he coarse shell which envelopes is.