davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
JOSH KILLINGS ON KISSING.

l have written essays on kissing before this
one, but they didn satisfy me, nor dew think
this one will for the more a man undertakes
tcw tell about Il kiss the more he will reduce
his ignorance to a science.
Yu kant analiZe a kiss emmy more than yu
kan the breath ov flour. Iu kant tell what
makes kiss taste SO good emmy more than yu
kan peach
Emmy man who kan set down, WHARF it is
cool and tell how kiss tastes, haint got emmy
more real flavor tcw his mouth than knot
hole has. Such a phcll0 wouldn't hesitate tew
describe Paradlseas Il fust rate place for gardin
sass.
The only way to describe kiss is tcw take
one, and then set down, awl alone, out ov the
draft and smack yUre lips
| have heard writers talk about the egstatick
bliss thare was in kiss, and they really SEEM
ed tew think they know awl about it, but these
are the same kind ov folks who pcrspire and
kry when they read poetry, and then fall tew
writing some oy their own, and think they
hav found ont how.
want it understood that am talking about
pure emotional kissing, that is born in the
heart, aud flies tcw the lips, like a humming
bird tcw her roost
kissing an unwilling pair ov lips IL az mean
a vicktory az robhin a bird nest, and kissing
a pair ov too willing ones IL about az untra-
grant a recreation az making bOquCts out Of
| dandcllons.
The kind ov kissing that am talking about
! IL the kind that must do it or spilc
| do hate to see this delightful invigorating
! beverage adulterated it is nexter for the gods,
but | am often obliged to stand still and see
kissing did, and not say word, that hahn
got emmy more novelty, nor meaning i'll it, than
throwing stones tcw mark.
saw two young mayden ladys kiss yesterday
on tie north side ov Union Square, 5 times in
less than 10 minutes they kist every time
they bid each farewell, and then Immediately
thought ov something else they hadn't sed. [
couldn't tell for the life oy me whether tho
the kissing was the cffext ov the kissing. 1t
waz which and tother scene.
Cross matched kissing IL undoubtedly the
strength Of the grain. 1t is trew, thare il no
stattu rcgulashun against two fcmails kissing
each other; but | don't think thare IL much
pardon for it, unless it IL done to keep tools in
order; and two men kissing each other IL pri-
ma face evidence Of dead bcattcry.
Kissing that passes from parent to child,
and back gin, seems to be az necessary as shin
plaSters to do Dizziness with; and kissing that
husbands give and take IL simply gathering
ripe fruit from ones own plum tree that would
otherwise drop Oph or be stolen.
IharetOr | am driv tew konkludc tew git out
ov the corner that mi remarks hav chased me
into, that the lie Of kiss IL only tew be had
once in phello's life, in the original package,
and that IL when
Not tew waste the time ov the reader, | hav
thought best not tew finish the abuv sentence,
hoping that tharc amt no person ov good ed
ukashun and decent memory but what kan rec
collect the time which | refer to, without emmy
, ov mi help.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
IPUBLIC-No. 81
An Act mrking appropriations for the support Of Militia

An Act mrkng appropriations for the support Of Military
Academy the fiscal ending June thretk eighteen
hundred and seventy.
by and House of Representatives Of
the United States America assembled That the
following be- and the hereby appropriated
the treasury otherwise appropriated
the support the Military Academy for the ending the
thiTtieth June, eighteen hundred and seventy
dets and musicians hundred and thousand five
hundred and seventy dollars and eghty-eight cents.
For Communication Of officers subsistence, six thousand
hundred and thirty-twO dollars.
For lieu of clothing to officers servants hundred
and fifty dollars.
For and ordinary sxtyOne thousand nine
hundred and thirty dollars.
and Of library two thousand dollars
For expenses Of board of visitors thousand dollars.
artillery and cavalry four thousand dol
lars.
for artillery and cavalry practice two thousand
dollars.
For repairs OF Ocers quarters, three thousand dollars
For furniture for cadets hospital five hundred dollars.
pipes gasOmeters and etOrts six hundred dollars
For quarters for subaern officers three thous
and dollars.
lars. - -,
reOOrng academic building and barracks, thousand
dollars. ~
contingencies for the superintendent OF the academy
thousand dollars.
Approved, February 2, 1869.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
IpTRTIC-NO ol
II IbLIN- -NWs E.I
An Act 70 amend an ac. entitled =. An act in

An Act to amend act entitled An act imposing
distilled spirits and tobacco and for other
ed July twentieth, eighteen hundred and sixty
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives OF
the United Congress assembled That the
seventy eighth act imposing distilled
spirits for other purposes approved July
twentieth eighteen hundred and sxtyeght be- the
hereby amended by striking out the words first day of Jan
uary, they said and inserting
lieu thereof the words fifteenth day of February"
Approved, December o. 1865.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
(PrRLIC-No. ~

in relation to the appointment midshpmen the
lately recOnstI ueted States.
Be enacted by the Senate and House Of Representatives
the United States of America in Congress assembled That the
Secretary the Navy be, and he hereby authorized and d
Eected to make the appointment OF mdshpmen to the United
States Naval Academy before the fourth day March
in which the election Of members Of the
House Representatives the Congress does
by law take the first day July eighteen
hundred and the nomination Of the members
the House States in the
en Congress Provided That such appointment shall be
made State by law entitled to the appointment
midshipmeh the year eighteen hundred and sxtynine.
Approved, January 80, 1869.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
POetr.
COmeth "a Blessing Down.

Not to the man Of dollars,
Not to the man Of deeds,
Not to the man of cunning,
Not to the man of creeds;
Not to the one whose passion
Is for the world renown,
Not in form of fashion
Cometh blessing down.
Not unto lands expansion,
Not to the miser's chest,
Not to the princelv mansion
Not to the blazoned crest;
Motto the sordid wording,
Not to the knavish clown,
Not to the naughty tyrant.
Cometh blessing down.
Not to the blinded,
Not to the stepped in samo,
Not to the carnal-minded,
Not to unholy fame;
Not in neglect of duty,
Not in the mOnarch's crown,
Not at the smile of beauty.
COmeth blessing down.
But to the one whose spirit
Yearns for the great and good;
Unto the one whose stOrehOuse
Yieldeth the hungry food;
Unto the one who labOrs
Fearless Ot foe or frown;
Unto the kindly hearted,
COmeth blessing down.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

There is brisk rivalry in Westerly, r. l.,
between the missionary of the Christian Asso-
citation and an advertiser of patent medicines.
The former painted in large letters on fence.
What shall do to be saved?" and the latter
put under it, Use IS German Bitters y
But the missionary retaliated by printing in an
other place, under Use IS German Bit
tiers" the text, " Prepare to meet thy GOd!'
NAOMI, the daughter Of Enoch, was FIVE
hundred and ninety years old when she was
married. Courage, ladies'
There never was a goose so gray,
But some day, soon or late,
An honest gander came that way,
And took her for his mate.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

The Boston Chief of Police recently dressed
two or three trusty officers in female apparel,
and sent them out to detect the ruffians who
have been insulting ladies' while quietly walk
ing on the street. One of the officers reported
that more than ~ men accosted him. Some
Of them move in the most respectable society.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
IPUBLIC-No. ST.
An Act TO amend an act entitled AN act to prescbe the

Act act entitled prescribe mode
of obtaining evidence in of contested elections
proved February nneteenth eighteen hundred and
Be IL enacted by the Senate and House Representatives
the United States Of America in Congress assembled That
register IN bankruptcy or notary pubc resident IN congress
sOna district the right to which contested
by authorized take the testimony and perform
other acts which judge of of the United States is
authorized to do by the third section Of act entitled
prescribe the mode obtaining evidence
ted elections approved February nineteenth eighteen hun
dred an ffty-One.
Approved January g.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
lpCBLIC-NO. Al

An Act to repeal certain provisions section
titled An making appropriations for the support
or the year ending June thrtieh eighteen hundred
sxtyeiGht, and purposes" approved March
second, eighteen hundred and slXtyseven.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House Representatives
the United states Congress assembled That
ton the entitled making appropriations for
the of the for the ening June thrteth
eighteen hundred and and for other
March second eighteen hundred and
the applicable to the States Of North Carolina South
Carolina Florida Alabama and louisiana hereby repealed.
Approved January IL, 1863
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

History or THE HABEAs CoRPUs-About
$50 years ago, on an island meadow in the Riv-
er Thames still known as Runnymede, ON tie
18th Of Aug, the iron clad friends Of freedom in
England met King John and wrested from him
the Magma Charta, the great ohartar of English
Liberty. IL contained these words: No
man shall be arrested, imprisoned, or deprived
Of his own free household, or of bis liberties
or Of his own free customs, or outawed and
banished, or injured in any manner, nor will
we pass sentence upon him, nor send trial upon
him unless by the legal Judgement of his peers,
by laws of the land" This is the great germ
of our civil liberty.
Itwas defended in England by many bloody
wars, and has. been ratified by many acts OF
Parliament of England which would not dare
in any way to restrict the privilege of the hG.
beas corpus. 1t was engrafted as fundameA.
tai principle in our Constitution, and our fore
fathers believed it to be sure guarantee for
the rights Of future generations.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

THE POTATO FEvER.-Amcrcans are the
most gullible people on the face of the earth,
in many respects. One hundred farmers may
offer good potatoes at fair price, for seed, and
sell only a few specimens; while a shrewd
Yankee offers some of the same variety, or an
other kind that has never been tested. for 800,
or even $40 per lb. and the world will rush at
ter specimen as if the variety were of heaven
ly origin. The Maine Farmer AYERS that there
can be no doubt that veritablc potato fever is
raging in Vermont. They have there a varie-
ty which is so valuable that sixteen specimens
sold for $S25; twelve for $Gl5; one for a COW
one tor suit Of silver mounted harness; and
the ordinary quotation is $50 a piece. As a
proof Of its productivenesS, it is stated that a
man who paid last year $40 for one eye, raised
from it the past season potatoes for which he
has realized $3.50 cash, and has three potatoes
lett.
Why do not potato growers save their own
seed, improve variety that will yield them
twice as many bushels per acre as they now are
raising, without paying such fabulous prices
for seed that has never been tested?
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
lPUBLIC-No. 81
An Act authorizing the admission in evidence of copies Of


tain papers, documents, and entries
Be enacted by the Senate and House Representatives
the United States of America in Congress assembled That
copies all official and documents belonging
filed remaining in the office Of consul viceconsu
of the United States all official
tries the such office, SHALL
titled hand and official proper consul
commercial admissible evidence
all the OF the United States.
ApprnNed. january 5. ISIS.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
- = 49,

A BAD THING-A Scotch clergyman was
talking very seriousl to a pariShioner about
drinking, and hoped he had produced some
effect. And so he had, for the pari>hioner said:
"Ye're right, sir! whisky's bad thing, eS-
pecially bad whisky"
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

A colored woman of Columbia, South Caro-
lima, gave over five hundred dollars towards
building a church. She raised the money by
renting her house and living in shanty her
self.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

"Sonny, do you love me any" "Oh, don't
| though!' "What for?" Because you al
ways bring me candy when you come to see
Sissy Jane. Give me some more. And
what does Sissy Jane love me for?" "Oh,
cause you take her to concerts and give her SO
many nice things She says so long as you are
fool enough to bring her shawls and bonnets,
she won't sack you nohow. Now give me some
more candy"
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
tPUBLIc-No. 81
n Az naknr npnronrIaon. for the parment OF invalid

An Act making appropriations for the payment Of invalid and
pensions Of the United States for the ending June
thirtieth, eighteen hundred and seventy.
the Senate and House OF Representatives OF
the limited States America Congress assembled That the
the hereby Appropriated
81 any money in the treasury not otherwise appropriated for
pensions for the year ending the heth Of
June, eighteen hundred and seventy:
acts million dollars.
For pensions children mothers fathers brothers,
and soldiers provided for by acts of March egh
hundred eighteen May fifteenth eighteen
hundred twenty eight; June SEVENTH eighteen hundred
and bry-two July fourth eighteen hundred and hirysix
July seventh eighteen hundred and thrtyeght March third
hundred and June seventeenth eighteen
hundred srty Our February second July twenty first
Ju twenty NINTH eighteen hundred and forty eight Feb
rnarv third eighteen hundred and fifty three third
eighteen hundred 6y-egt and July fourteenth eig
sixtytwO with its supplementary acts and
nder various special and for compensation to pension
nd of agencies ten million dollars.
For navy pensions nvas widows and children and other
and of the dying in the
~ duty now provided by law hundred and fifty thousand
| Approved, February 2, 1850. =.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

HoIrNEss-At one of the ragged schools
in ireland, clergyman asked the question,
What is holincss2" A poor Irish convert,
in dirty, tattered rags, jumped up, and SAID,
" Plase your reverence, it S to be clane inside ~
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

A Justice Of the Peace in Baldwin County,
Alabama, is found to have been unqualified
for his Office after marrying several pairs of la
dies and gentlemen. The work Of reconStruc-
tion is now in progress.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

The body of VIM. Penn lies in a little church
yard about twenty miles from London. The
church and surroundings, nestle in deep gorge
among hills. The grave is incloscd in little
square of hedge, and no marble or other Orna-
ments mark the spot.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

Mynheer Drirkhoff makes dinstinction,
thus: "Too much whiSkey is too much, but
too much lager beer is shoest right.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

One of the religious journals of Boston tells
of church which pays its choir s., 900 year,
while its contributions to missions are only
500.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

The Noble Order of Guinea Witches" is
secret society organized recently in the wes-
tern portion of New York State. Its objects
seems to be frOlc, and annual masquerades are
part of its regular duties
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

Women get married because they don't con-
slider it respectable or fashionable to be single;
and men because they think wife good
thing to have about the house, like furniture,
to be both useful and ornamental.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

A woman in Michigan recently sued saloon
keeper to recover money spent by her husband
for liquor, and got verdict of $65 in her ia
YOr.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

TIE PILGRIMAGE TO MECCA-Every year
caravan leaves Cairo for Mecca and Medina
the sacred cities of the Mohammcdans in Ara
bia, the former being where Mohammed was
born, and the latter where he is buried. This
pilgrimage every devout Moslcm ought to per-
form once at least during his lifetime, and hav-
ing performed it, every Moslem, devout or
otherwise, lets it be known, in his dress, in the
decorations Of his house, and particularly III his
air and manner and bearing.
Thousands set out on this pilgrimage, from
Morocco and Fez on the west, to Calcutta and
Singapore on the east, all vending their way
to Mecca; and of these thousands only few
hundreds return. Cholera, fever, want, expos
ure, the sun by day, and the dew and the moon
by night, destroy the pilgrims in great numbers,
both going and returning. How great the
equanmity with which we can bear the woes
of others This moral truism is particularly
true of the pilgrims to Mecca. Arabs, Moors,
Egyptians, Persians, Turks, Afghans, PatanS,
and MOslem Malays see their brethren die on
the long, long pilgrimage with profound eQua-
nimity. The sufferers are not to be ptied.
They go direct to Paradise. They are to be
envled rather. 1t is an article of their creed,
taught 10y the Koran itself, that pilgrims dying
on this pilgrimage are received direct into heav
en- by the beautiful hOuries, who are waiting fol
them with OutStretched arms. There the all
is all pertumed; the riversare of milk and winC
and of all the most exquisite descriptions of nee
tar; the birds and the plants are more beauti
tul than anything on earth and the hOurieS
lOvellest maids, are waiting for them. Such il
the Moslem idea of Paradise and to this Para
disc the poor pilgrim, dying tnroute, goes a
once. Where, then, is the cause for lamenta
| ton?
But many can't go to Mecca. They SEM
presents there inStead-presents intended t,
ornament the tomb of the Prophet, or to assis
in its preservation and maintenance
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

4 person who had been listening to very
dull address, remarked that every thing went
off well, especially the audience.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

A farmer near Dubuque had the following
additions to his treasures within twenty four
hours: two boys, seven lambs, one calf and
seventeen pigs.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
TeStinnOnia1S.

~, Hon. GEO. w. WOODWARD,
'1'sl Justice Of the Supreme Court Of Pa, writes
So Philadelphia, March 26, 1868.
'uu noOfand's Ger man BHters' Is good
4 / Useful IN diseases ~ of the digestive organs
Y | I, great benefit in cases Of debility, and
y" nervous action in the system,
Yours, Truly, GEO. W. WOODWARD"
J., Hon. JAMES THOMPSON,
s,.., Philadelphia, Al pril 28, 1868.
,unsder HOeaand' German Buffers VALUABLE
Ia. IN case OF attacks Of Indigestion or Dyspep-
ln,.' ~ cetIlty this from my experience OF II.
"'' win respect JAMES THOMPSON.
L., Hon. GEORGE sHARsWOOD,
~'ASe Of the Supreme Court Of Penn, writes:
PIk. Philadelphia, June LIST, 1868.
|,Hso S NSn NlOOnd bv exp NT erience that HOOaand's
' Tnpons rSsSUG %dsI Sreoly. toalS' renewing
GEORGE SHARSWOoD.
A,,,,,t IRON REV. +. D. FENDALL.
aaVe AM any Editor, Christian Chronicle, Philada.
4and,. CcIfed decided benefit from the use OF
N,Oms.1 herman BitIers and feel It my privilege
ara s"s sas Mem as a most valuable tonic. TO all
H., uetng from general debility, or from
/ vAlng from arrangement Of the liver
Il ioOrA Tsuly, ED. FENDALL.
Ns. r. me Druggist says that he has sold large
H., .se pne Bnlers, and has never sold a medi-
&afe in uhiNoIsdt sdtlslaCtfOus Alc tdhCs
Hun, commenting il to his customers. 8
1srfs,,.S ;-hoOAand's Germ an Remedies are
IlSON !. pee mat the signature of G. M
asts are counter ppei VI ea'" 'o'''0'
a. Msd;ce. and ManufactOry at tn e
H., Pa PO'clne e Store, No 63I ARCH street, PhIla.
GhAS. M. EVANS, Proprietor.
Formerly C. Nj. JACKSON u Co.
1aa6.c PRICES.
Oetman gitters, per bottle, 81 OF
1aAr, c.. :" half dozen, 5 OF
Spe, hnah ho,.Iah Tonic. put up in quart bottles
n % a., STule' sl or half dozen for 81 SO.
RO,ds, =, e.to examine we'll the article yO'
t'0 get the genuine.
B DRUcc FoR SALE BY ALL
Is AND STOREKEEPERS,
fals h. EVERYWHERE.
%a lSss-Iy ""S '"a' N'''
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
IPUBLIC-No. i0.1

An Act suppementary act entitled An act to confirm
the titles 10 certain lands In the State OF Nebraska
h naeted by and House Representatives OF
the Tinted states America in Congress assembled That the
and benefits entitled AN act TO confirm
Inc titles 10 lands the State Nebraska approved
OF July Domni eighteen hundred
nd sht be- the hereby extended the
t h and northwest quarter OF the southeast Of
a oina fifteen thirteen sixth pnci
nal Douglas county Nebraska and that the title
'T7''7 fContinued on fourth pase.l
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
DEBILITY.

alllng from any cause whatever; PrOstration Of
hs system. induced by Severe labor, Hard
ships, Exposure, Fevers, &c.
here il 10 medicine extant equal to these reme-
IA such cases. tone and vIgOr is impaired to
Whole system. the appetite IS strengthened, food
f'pysd the stomach dIgests properly, the blood Is
led, the compile TiOn becomes sound and healthy,
Yellow tnge is eradicated from the eyes, bloom
wen to the cheeks. and the weak and nervous in
Y becomes a strong and healthy being.
''isns Advanced IN Life anc feeling The hand of
EsIghing heavily upon them, with all its attend
il, will find in the use Of this BITFERS or the
AC, an elixir that will instil new life into their
Afeslore in measure the energy and ardOr Of
slOOhful days, build up their shrunken forms.
IVe health and happiness to their remaining
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

MORE WESTERN QUESTIONS. :" After wheat,
what p Whiskey. After whiskey, whoY'
Our noble Senators
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03

Rothschid said that when any one spoke
about wealthy man of his creed they called
him an Israelite, but if he was poor they called
him Jew.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
hollands German Bitters,
HOOFLAND's GERMAN TONIC,

HOOFLAND'S GERMAN TONIC,
Epred by DR. c. M. JACKSON,
PHILADELPHIA PA
FhNyfve years since they were first introduced
this country from Germany, during which time
b have undoubtedly performed more cures, and
hsited suffering humanity IN greater extent, than
Ohet remedies known to the public.
These remedies will - effecIually cure Liver
'upsnt, Jaundl e M VDyspep psia, Chronic or
svous Debility, Chr MN ono Diarrhea, Disease
IAs Kidneys, and all Diseases arising from a
Ifdefed Liver, Stomach or IntestInes.
Smyrna times., 1869-03-03
NOTICE.

iiWell established fact that fully one.half Of the
e portion Of our population are seldom IN
9Oyment Of good Ell health, or, to use their
'IptesslOn. 81 new II Aer feel WE'LL" They are
.d, devoid Of all energy, extremely, nerv-
IND have no appetite.
lls class OF persons the Bitters, or the Onic, is
#ally recommended
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
laas strong by the use Of either Of these reme-
Put ail
halds Of certificates have accumulated in the
Ol The proprietor. bat space will allow of the
,auOn Of but few. Those, il will be observed,
sa OF note, and Of such standing that they must