The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-06-10
Editorial Short-Straws.

Editorial Sh0rt-StraWs.
"A Cincinnati lager-beerist denounces
the Gold Water Fiend" in flowing terms.
-"Inteligent and influential Radicals Of
Northern birth" is the new name for carpet
baggers.
Chicago is ssaid to be the greatest dis
union city in the Union. They grant divor-
ces with a vengeance
7-Beecher thinks the time will come "when
a man may be judge and yet go to heaven. y
How. about his own destiny :?
Dead soldiers are honored by the people,
while Grant removes living ones from Office
and fills their places with negroes.
The Tribune thinks "the outgivings of
the Treasury Department show better" That
is, it blecds more freely.
A young ladyi in Maine took an over
dose of arsenic to beautify her complexion.
She did it-for she made a beautiful corpse
A fellow blythe name of Butler, neph-
ew Of. the Beast, has got into a scrape in
New York. It was not for stealing spoons.
There are three or four hundred "frst
passengers over the Pacific Railroad" Ev-
cry hotel between Chicago and Boston has
one. .S,, '.s-' go.
The BARRIERS in the Kings County Pen.
itcntiary use the bibles presented by Evan
gelical societies far shaving paper. The bar
barous wretehes !.rxs nj ~ @
E -About 200, 900 n orvegians are expect
ed to immigrate tosthis country during the
coming year. Ole Bull 6ddled them ac-
cross the Atlantia,s b apazl5
"A hand bill headed aNotice to milk
men," was stuck on the public pumps at
Lowell. There could not have been better
place-to draw attention and water too.
Anna Dickinson exclaims vehemently
"Give us liberty or give us DEATH" As to
the liberty, she can take whatever liberty
pleases-death will come without her asking.
AT recent meeting of women in Bos-
ton, it was resolved that white women and
girls were as much the objects of sympathy
as were the negro slave women No doubt.
The proprictors of the Worth House,
New York, have given their walters the ad-
vance on condition that they use "choakers."'
Do they mean to garrotte the boaders? 5
-Forney has advanced a new idea. He
says the late war was good school to educate
statesmen in; ergo-Grant is Statesman
Minerva did not spring from the brain of
Mars.
Some thieving rascal has stolen the
tooth brush Of the editor of the Milton, N.
c., Chronicle. Pitch into him, friend-and
if you secure him, give him coat Of tar and
feathers. t Z
1t is said that the reason why Grant has
appointed so many thieves to Office is because
the Offices could not remain vacant until
some honest Radicals turned up to fill them.
A doomsday affair. Z
Prentice thinks that if Ben Butler we're
kicked as often as he deserves it, he would
be glad to 80 to Connecticut and exchange
his hams for wooden ones Steel names
would be more appropriate and more lasting,
The Mobile Register. predicts that
"Grant will have to throw himself upon the
Democratic party" If he does, it will be
the curse of Sinbad. The Democratic party
has sins enough Of its own without burden
ing itself with more. /
1t is remarkable that the portrait of
Washington has disappeared from the 3 cent
postage stamps, and locomotive has taken
its place. The likeness of Jackson is also
left off the two cent stamps, Hope we are
not impertenant, but should like to knew
what it means isset-4 9aca3
Prof. Wilcox, who has been compelled
to resign his position as Librarian of the
Bureau of Statistics, says: ''My judgement
agrees with the opinion Of leading Radicals,
that this Government is unconsciously tend
ing to dcspotism." The question is whether
it has not reached the point of tendency?
t+z15 . - /
A nermanent Confederate Memorial Socie.