The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-07-16
selettto saiscsIlanrJ.
NOW HE CAME rO BE MARRIBp.

critters, for il l was behind the fence look
ing through q knot hole, | could not look
long enough. Well, my sister Lib gave n
party one night. and / started away from
home because ] was too bashful 20 face the
music. hung around the house whistling
cold Dan Tucker" dancing 70 keep my
feet warnL Watching the heads bobblngup
and down behind the window curtains, and
wishing the laundering party would break
up, so J could get 20 my room. I smoked
up abunch Of cigars, and Il was getting
late and mighty uncomfortable, / conclud-
cd to shin up the door post. No sooner
said thnn done. and l soon found myself
Nov, saysI, let her ripl Dance till
your wind gives out" And cuddling
down under Che quilts, Morpheus grabbed
me.
I WAS dreaming Of soft-shell crabs and
stewed tripe, aud having a good time, when
somebody knocked at the door and woke me
up. Rap again 7 laid low. Trap, rap,
rap!" Then heard whispering. and | knew
there was nwEole raft Of gals outside. Then
Lib sing out:
'Jack, are you therei'
eyes SAYS /.
Then cnme aroar Of daughter.
"Let US IN" said she.
-"I won't saidI. "Can't you let a fellow
alone2" .H|u. ". ... W
Are you abcdg" says she.
q am says I.
Get out, - says she.
~ won't says l.
Then came another laugh
By thunder! I began to get riled.
sect out, you petticoated scarecrowsY'
cried l. Cant you get a beau without
hauling n fellow out Of bed? / won't 90
home with you'll won't, SO you may clear
out"
Aud throwing a boot at the door, I felt
better. But presently Iheard o still, small
voice, very much Ike sister Lbs, and it
said:
.'Jaek, you'll have to get up, for all the
girls things are there"
oh, mercyl what a picket Think Of me,
in bed, all covered with muifs, shawls, bon
nets and cloaks, and twenty girls outside
the door, waiting 20 get in! II I had stop.
ped to thinkI should have paucaked on the
spot As it vas / rolled ont among the
bonnetware and ribbons in a hurry. Smash
went the millinery in every direction. 1
had to dress in the dark-for thore was a
crack in the door, and the girls will peep
and the way ! fumbled about was death on
straw hats. The critical moment came. l
opened the door and found myself right
among the women.
ooh, my leghornp' cried one. ''AIy dear,
darling winter velyetr' cried another, and
they pitched in-they pulled me this way
N that, boxed my cars, and one bright
eyed little picce-Sal, her name was-put
her arms round my neck, and kissed me
right on my lips. Human nature could not
stand that, aud 1 gave her as good as she
sent. 1t was the first time j ever got the
taste, and it was powerful good. l believe
Icould have kissed that gal from Julius
Caesar tothe Fourth of July.
Jack, said she, 1--WE are sorry to dis
turf you, but won't you see me homer
eyes, l viii, " said /.
! did do II, and had another smack NJ the
gate.
After that We took q kinder turtle dove
after each other, both of US signing like a
barrel ofnew cider when we were away
from each other.
Twas at the close of a glorious summer
day, the sun was setting behind a distant
hen-roost, the bullfrogs were commencing
Intervening songs, and p~ollywOgs, in their
native mud-puddles, were preparing them
selves for the shades Of night, and Sal and
myself spt upon an ~anIquated backlog,
listening to the music of nature, such as
tree-toads, r]oosters and granting pigs; and
o and then the music of a iackass was
WNHNNN " oAA NAn ~ AAt hEllllt LCIlNIn
thUt sighted among the mullen stalks, and
heavily laden with the delicious odors of
hen-roosts and pig styes. The last lingering
rays OF the setting snn, g~lancing from the
buttons OF Il solitary horseman, shone
through n knot.hole in a hog-pen, full in
Sails face, dyeing her hair an orange peel
hue, and showing OIL my threadbare coat
TO bad advantage. one of my arms was
around Sails waist, my hand resting on the
small OF her back bhe was toying with my
auburn locks of jet black hue; she was al
most gone, and was almost ditto. She
looked Ike a grasshopper dying with the
hiceups, and | felt like mud-turtle choked
. with a goldfish bali.
Sal, says !, in a voice as musical as
the notes Of a dying swan, will you have
meY's h-s
She raised her eyes ~he0Venward, and
clasped me by the hand, had an attack OF
the heayes aud blind staggers, and with a
sigh that drew her shoestrings to her palate,
said; eyes"
She v clear out then, and squatted IN
may lap. i Rugged her till brokemy sus,
spenders, and her breath smelt OF onions
she had eaten two weeks before. p T''
We'll, TO make a long story short, sheset
the day, and We practiced for four weeks
every night how we would enter the room
W w AiulllSAi ti We Egl NJ We Cotllu Nhlh
as gracefully AZ a compile of Muscovy ducks.
Tho night, the company and the minister
came, the signal was given, and arm and
arm we went through the hall. We mas
just entering the parlor door, when down
| went kerslap on the oilcloth. pulling Sal
after me. Some eussed fellop had dropped
a banana skin on the door and it Aoored me.
1t split an awful hole in my cassimeres,
right under my dress coat tail. d II was too
late e. back out; so elasping my hand over
il, WI marched in and were spliced, and
taking a'seat, 1 watched the k~issing-the-
bride operation, Ny groomsman was tight,
and he kissed her till Jumped up to take
a slicc, when, oh, horror! a little six-year
imp had crawled behind me and pulled my
shirt through the hole in my pants, and
pinned it TO the chair, 80 that when lump
cd upI displayed 10 the astonished multi
tude a trihe more white muslin than was
pleasant: The women. giggled, the men
roared, and / got mad, but was finally put
TO bed, and there my troubles ended. Good
night 9 1-h1l- 4. i.Hlicc
---Weayer, who was recently sentenced 10
be hanged for murder by the military COM
mission in Texas, and upon whose case At