Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-06-04
sollnn, Thoughts.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

The fear Of God is the philosophy oy
religion; the fore ov God is the charity
ov religion.
Hope is hen that lays more eggs than
she can hatch out.
Better leave your children virtew than
money; but this is sekret known only
tew a few. 4a
| honestly beleave it is better tew
know nothing than tew know what amt
About the hardest work a phellow Ian
do is tew spark two gals at once and pre-
serve q good average.
Pruderv is one ov virtues bastards.
A nickname will outlive emmy man or
thing; it is like the crook in dogs tale,
you may cut it eph and throw it behind
the barn, hut the crook is there yet, and
the stump is the epitapb.
We hev bin told that the best way to
oyerkum misfortunes, is tew fight with
them-I hev tried both ways, and re-
commend a successful doge.
The art ov becoming ov Importance IN
the eyes ov others il not to overrate our
self but few cauze them tew do 1t.
The true way to understand the judg
ments ov heaven il tev submit to them.
Method is everything, espeshiy to or
binary men; the few men who kan lift
tun, at plezzure, hev divine right tew
take holt ov it tew disadvantage.
The mind ov man IL like piece ov
land that, tew b. useful, must be manur-
ed with learning, ploughed with energy,
sown with virtew and harvested with
ekonemy.
WHARF religion IL trade, morality il
a merchandise.
Conversashun should. be enlivened
with wit, not composed ov it.
The less a man knows, the more he
will guess at; and guessing IL nothing
more than suspicion.
Going tew law, IL like skinning new
mich cow for the hide, and giving the
meat tew the lawyers.
Death, tew most ov US, IL kind ov
farewell benefit, '-"positively our last
appearance"
Phools are quite often like hornets,
very bizzy, but about what, the Lord
only knows.
Living on Hope IL like living on wind,
a good way tew get phull. but poor
way to get phatt.
Jealousy don't pay, the best it kan do
IL tew discover what we don't want to
find, nor don't expekt to.
Sekrets are mortgage on friendships.
don't think bad man IL az danger
Gus az a week one-I don't think bile
that bez come to he'd liz az risky as a
hidden one, that may cum tew dozen
heads.
A vivid imaginashun IL like some
glasses, makes things at distance look
twice az big az they am. and cluss to,
twice as small as they am.
Hope is draft on'futurity. sometimes
honored, but generally extended.
If the world despizes hypokrit, what
must they think ov him in Heaven.
Flattery il like Kolone water, tew be
smelt ov, not swallowed.
After all, there don't seem tew be but
this difference between the wize men and
the phools; the wize men are all fuss
and sum feathers, while the phools are
all fuss and no feathers.
Without friends and without enemys
il the most reliable ackount we hav ov
stray dog. .
Men, generally, when they whip a
mule, sware; the mule remembers the
swareing, but forgits the licking.
Sum folks wonder WHARF awl the lies
cum from; but I don't. One good liar
will pizen whole country.
Hunting after fame il like hunting af
ter feas, hard tew ketch, and sure tew
make you uneazy if yu dew or don't
ketch them.
Menney people spend their time trie-
ing tew find the hole WHARF sin got in
tew this world-if two men break thru
the ice intew mill-pond, they had bet
ter hunt for some good hole tew git out,
rather than git into a long argument
about the hole they cum tow fall in.
Imagnashun, too much INDUCED in,
soon is tortured into reality; this IL one
way good boss thieves IL made. A man
leans over fence all day and imagines
the boss in the lot belongs tew him and,
sure enuf, the first dark mite, the boss
does.
If you must chaw ter5acker, young
man, for Heavens sake, chaw old plug
it is the nastyest.
Various Interesting Facts and Hints.