Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1869-06-19
Model Love Letter.

Inc IoliowIng letter found its way into
our copy drawer through the agency of
our Devil, who picked it up the other
morning while sweeping ont. Whether
dropped by some susceptible outsider.
or owes its paternity to the gushing
sentimentality Of the Tslegroph Office.
there are no means of deciding. It's
deep pathos and impassioned imagery
VIII, no doubt, touch sympathetic cord
in more than one young breast.
AsnTABrLA, May %, 1869.
NY o'cn Dear Venus:: Every time |
think OF you my heart flops up and down
like churn dasher. Sensations of nm
utterable joy caper over it like ,onnr
goats over u stable roof, and thrill
through it like Spanish needles through
tow.Iinen trousers. AS goslin swim.
meth with delight in mud puddle, so
swim in sea OF glory. Visions Of
ecstatlc rapture thicker than the air of
backing brush and brighter than the
hues on humming-bird's pinions, visit
me IN my slumbers, aud borne on their
visible wings, your image stands before
me, and reach out to grasp it, like an
Ola pointer swapping at a blue cat-fy.
W hen first behcld your sanity perfcc-
tons l was bewildered and my brain
wbrled round like bumble-bte under
a glass tumbler; my eyes stood open
like cellar doors in the country towns.
And lifted up my ears to catch the sill
very accents of your voice. Ny tongue
refused to wag, and in silent admiration
drank in the sweet infection of love.
as thirsty man swaloweth a tumbler
OF hot whisky punch. Since the light of
your face Tell upon my life, sometimes
feel as If l could lift myself by my boot
straps TO the top of a church steeple.
Day and night you are III my thoughts.
When "Aulora," blushing like a bride,
rises from her saffron couch; when the
jayblrd pipes his tuneful lay in the apple
tree by the spring-house; when the chan
tlcleer's shrlll clarion heraldS the coming
morn; when the awakened pig ariseth
from his bed and goes forth for his morn
ing refreshments; when the drowsv bee
tie wheels his droniDg flight at sulky
noontide, and when the lowing cows
come home at milking time, l think of
thee, and like piece of gum elastic, my
heart seems to stretch clear across my
bosom. Your hair is like the name of a
sorrel horse painted with gold and fills
me with unbounded awe. Your fore
head is smoother than an old coat and
winter than seventeen hundred linen.
Your eyes are glorious to behold. In
their liquid depths see legions of little
cupids battling and fighting like cohorts
OF ants III all old army cracker. When
their fire hit me full in the manly breast
it perforated my eutire anatomy like
load of buckshot would 60 through
rotten apple. Your nose is from chunk
OF parian marble, and your mouth puck
ers with sweetness. Nectar fingers on
your lips like honey on n bears's paw.
and myriads OF unfedged kisses are there
ready to fly out of their parent nest.
Your laugh rings on my ears like the
wind-harp's strain, or the bleat of stray
lamb on bleak hillside. The ,limpes
on your cheeks are like bowers in beds
of roses, or like hollows in cakes of home
made sugar. am dying to fly to your
presence, aud to pour out the burning
eloquence of my love as thrifty house
wife pours out the hot coffee. Away
from You | am as melancholy as a sick
rat. Sometimes can hear the June-bug
of dependency buzzing in my ears, and
feel the cold lizards of despair crawling
down my back. Uncouth fears, like IA
thousand IninEOws, are nibbling my spir-
its, and my soul is pierced through with |
doubts as an old cheese is bored by |
shippers.
My love is stronger for you than the
smell of old butter, Sweitzrr-kase or the |
kick of II mule. 1t is purer than the
breath of q young COW, aud more I'M
selfish than the kittens first catterwaui. |
AS a song-bird hungers for the light of
day, the cautious mouse for the fresh |
bacon in the trap-as lean pup hankers
after new milk, SO long for thee. You
are tairer than a speckled pnllet, sweeter
than Yankee doughuut fixed in sor-
ghum molasses; brighter than the top
knot plumage on the head of a Musccvy |
duck. You are candy kisses, raisins,
pound-cake and sweetened today, alto
gether. If these remarks will enable
you to see the INSIDE of my soul, and me
to win your affections, shall be as
happy as a wood-pecker in cherry-tree,
or "a stage horse in green pasture. If
you can not reciproeate my thrilling
passion, | will feel very bad, and l will
pine away like poisoned bedbug, and
pine away from the fourishing vine of
life an untimely branch. And in coming
years, when the shadows grow hong
from the hills, and the philosophic frog
sings his evening hymn, you happy in
another's love, can you come and drop
tear and toss flower upon the last rest
ing place of CHARLES?
A Shower of Snakes Serpents by
the Million.