The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-07-14

now. Either she has some needle
work to do. which might have beer
done during the day when he was out
or baby is asleep in the nursery, and
music in the drawing room would dis.
turb him-at all events she can not
sing or play to night; and even If she
does-he has heard all her pieces SO
often Ifheis not a reading man, those
long. dull, silent evenings are very
trying. She works, and drives him wild
with the click of her needle; or she
reads the last new novel, and he hates
novels, and gets tired to death when
she insists on telling him all about
the story and the characters; or she
chooses the evening for letter writing,
and if the noise of her pen scratching
over the paper does not iTrltate him.
perhaps 1t sends him to sleep, when
/ at last he Is not bored. But dull, OBJ
iectless and vacant as their evenings
are, his wife would not hear of any
| help from without to give just that
little flip which would prevent bore
dom and not create ceremony. She
would think her life had gone to piec-
es, and that only desolatIon was be-
fore her, If he limited that his home
was dull, and that, though he loves
her very dearly, and wants no other
| wife but her, yet that her society only
-tOU2OUrs perdrl.r - without change
or addition, is little stupid, however
nice the partridge may be; and that
| things would be bettered IT Mrs. or
| Miss So-and-so came IN sometimes,
| just to brighten up the hours. And
| If he were to make a practice OF bring
ing home his male friends, she would
| probably let all parties concerned feel
pretty distinctly that she considered
| the home her special sanctuary, and
| that guests whom she did not invite
were little else than intruders. She
would perhaps go willingly enough to
ball or crowded soiree, Or she might
| like to give one; but that intimate
| form of society which is a mere en-
largement of the home life, she breads
as too much like the experimenting
of deficiencies, and thinks her mar
ried happiness safer in boredom than
in any diversion from herself as the
sole center of her husbands pleasure.
The home life stagnates In Eng
land, and in very few families is there
any means between dissipation and
this stagnation. We can scarcely
wonder that so many husbands think
matrimony a mistake as we have it In
our insular arrangements, that they
look back regretfully to the time when
| they were unfettered and not bored,
or that their free friends, who watch
them as wild birds watch their Gagged
companions, curiously and reflective
ly, come to share their opinion. Wife
and home, after all, make up but part
of mans life; they are not his
all, and do not satisfy the whole of
his social instinct; nor Is any one o
man the concentration of all woman
| hood to a man, leaving nothing that
is beautiful, or in its way desirable,
on the outside. Besides, when with
bis wife man is often as much isola-
ted as when slone, for any real COM
partnership there is between them.
| Few women take a living interest in
| the lives of men, aud fewer still I'm
| derstand them They expect the
husband to sympathize with them in
| the kitchen gossip and the nursery
/ chatter, the neighbors' DOING, and all
| the small household politics; but as a
race they are utterly unable to COM
prchend his pleasures, his thoughts,
his duties, the responsibilities Of his
profession, or the bearings of any
part But even if this were not so,
and granting that they could enter
fully into his life, and sympathize
with him as intelligent equals, not
| only as compassionate saints or loving
children, there would still be the
need OF novelty, and still the certainty
| of boredom without it. For human
| life, like all other forms OF life, must
have a due proportion of fresh ele-
ments continually added, to keep it
sweet aud growing, else it becomes
stagnant and stuuted, as everything
else would be. And daily intercourse
undeniably exhausts the moral
ground. After the close companion
ship of years no one can remain men
tally fresh to the other, unless indeed
one or both be of the rarest order of
mind, and of practically inexhaast-
ible knowledge. Save those excep-
tiopal instances, we must all of neces-
sity get worn out by constant inter
course. We know every thou2ht,
every opinion, and almost every
square inch of information possessed;
we have heard the old stories again
and again, and know exactly what will
lead up to them, and at what point
they will begin: We have measured
the whole sweep of mind, and have
| probod its depths; and though we
may love and value what we have
| learned, yet we want something new
fresh food for interest, though not
| necessarily a new love for the dis
| placement Of the old. But this is
| what very few EnglishWomen can IN
| derstand or will al ow They hold so
| intensely by the doctriue of unity that
they are even jealous of a mans pur-
suits if they think those take up any
place in his mind which might else be
theirs. They must be good for every
part of his life; and the poorest of
them all must be his only source of
interest, suffering no other woman to
share his admiration or obtain his
friendship, though this would not
touch his love for themselves or inter-
fere with their rights. But this is a
hard saying to them, and one they
can not receive; wherefore they keep
tight grasp on the marital collar,
and suffer no relief Of monOtony by
judicious loosing or by generous faith
in marital fidelity. The practical re-
suit OF which is that most men are
horribly bored at home, and that the
mass of us really suffer from the do
nestle stagnation to which national /
customs and the exclusiveness of our |
women doom US as soon as we become |
family men. 1t must, however, In |
fairness be added. that most men OBJ
tain some kind OF compensation, and |
that very few walk meekly In thor |
bonds without at times slipping the. |
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