Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-02-16
CagrdS Dc SatrdS.
Passion Flowers-Toddy Blossoms.


Passion Flowers-Toddy Blossoms.
A questionable cass-School teachers
Those who live in Omaha are known as Oma-
hogs
A dressmaker advertises that she makes
dresses lower than ever.
A wit being requested ''to say good thing
laconically responded, Oysters.
ssHard times, and we must make the most OF
what we have,' as the grocer said when ne wa
tered his vinegar.
A New Orleans paper quotes burglary In that
CITY rather sitter, with tendency to more ex-
tensiVe operations.
CAT the Cape of Good Hope" writes tray
eller, people die very fast; but the sheep have
remarkably long tailsl
A Southern editor, about whom many rumors
are in circulation, says: THANK fortune, hail
the lies told about me amt true
What is the first historical mention of a ban
ouet? When Caesars ghost said to BrutuS-
I'VE shall meet again at hlly-ple
s'She isn't all that my fancy painted her, :"
bitterly exclaimed a rejected lover, land worse
than that, she isn't all that she paints herself.
A METROPOLITAN theatre announces new play
in rehearsal, entitled Tame Cats. f" 1t is said
to be one that appeals powerfully to the fellnes
Mrs. Malaprop, whose head just now is full
of Ireland, says the doctor tells her there is
something the matter with the Irish OF her
eye.
A tailor while travelling on the lake was asked
by Yankee where he lived, what his business
was, &c., to which he replied that he lived In
Toledo. and that his profession was sitting on
the smooth side of poverty and jerking out the
cords of affection.
A Dutchman, not one hundred miles from
Newtown, having suddenly lost an infant son,
of whom he was very fond, thus vented his In
consolabe grief over the corpse OF his child =
fatter as putter-I would mt haf him tie for den
shillings -
A Virginia New paper says that all that is
required in the lodging house business in, White
Pine is lot of stout iron hooks and few gun
nv sacks The hooks are driven into convent
emit trees and the dodgers hung up in the sacks,
after which the landlord has nothing to do till
morning but loaf about and keep up fires I'M
der such trees as he has located.
An Ohio editor is getting particular about
what he eats Hear him: 1.-THE woman who
made the butter which we bought last week is
respectfully requested to exercise more judg-
ment in proportioning the ingredients. The
last batch had too much hair in it for butter,
and not quite enough for waterfall. There is
no sense in making yourself bald headed, if
butter as thirty five cents a pound.
An American writer says: "a woman will
cling to the chosen object of her heart like
possum to gum tree, and you can't separate
her without swapping strings no art can mend,
and leaving portion of her soul on the upper
leather of your affections She will sometimes
see something to love where others see nothing
to admire and when fondness is once fastened
on fellow, it sticks like glue and treacle in
bushy head of hair.
martha, dost thou love nae p asked Qua
ker youth Of one at whose shrine his heart
fondest feelings had been offered.
why, Seth" answered she, 1--WE are COM
manded to love one another, are we not 2
''Ah, Martha, but dost thou regard me with
that feeling the world calls love? p
Il hardly know what to tell thee, Seth
have tried to bestow my love on ALL but l have
sometimes thought perhaps, that thee was get
ting more than thy share.
The SONG OF WINTER. all the joys
vouchsafed to man In life S tempestuous whlrl,
there 3 naught approaches heaven so near as
seighing with a girl-a rosy. laughing, buxom
girl frank, good natured, honest girl; feel
ing, flirting, dashing doating, smiling, smack
ing, jolly, joking, jaunty, jovial, poser~poking,
dear little duck of girl Pile up your wealth
mountain high, you sneering, soothing churl,
I'll laugh as go dashing by, with my jingling
bells and girl-the brightest, dearest, sweetest
girl the trimmest, gayest neatest girl the
funniest, hushest, frankest, fairest, roundest,
ripest, roguishest, rarest, spunklest, splclest,
squirmiest, squarest, best of girls, with droop-
ing lashes, half concealing amorous flashes
just the girl for chap like me to court, and
love, and marry, you see-with rosy cheeks
and clustering curls, the sweetest and the best
of civic