Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1869-08-11
witty Remarks Of Artemus Ward,


We extract the following from a
new book, Just issued, entitled "Arte-
mus Wards Panorama, us exhibited
in the Egyptian Hall, London;"
MS ARTISTIC CAREER
could draw on wood at u very ten
der age. When more child, | once
drow a small CARLOAD Of raw turnips
over wooden bridge. The people OF
the village noticed me. ] drew their
attention. They said | had a future
before be- Up to that time | had an
idea it was behind me.
Time passed on. II always does,
by tho way. You may possibly have
noticed that time always docs. 1t is
kind of way time has.
| became a man. | haven't distin-
guished myself at all as an artist but
| have always been more or less mixed
up with art ] have an uncle who
takes photographs, and | have a SER
want who--takes any thing hc can get
his hands on.
HIS MUSICAL IDEAS.
l like music. | can't sing. As a
singist | am not q success. | am sad
dest when sing. So are those who
hear me. They are sadder even than
l am.
found music very soothing when
/ lay i'll with fever in Utah and i
was very i'll; ] was fearfully wasted.
My face was hewn down to nothing,
and my nose was so sharp | didn't
dare to stick il into other peoples
business-for fear IL would stay there
and should never get il again. And
in those dismal days a Mormon lady
-shc was married, though not so
much so as her husband; he had fifteen
other wives-sho used to sing ballad
commencing, "Sweet bird, do not fly
away" ana / told her l wouldn't.
She played the accordion divinely-l
accordeonly praised her.
THE STEAMER ARIEL.
/ went to California on the steamer
Ariel. This is steamer Ariel.
Oblige me by camly gazing on the
steamer Ariel and when you 60 to
California, be sure and go on some
other steamer, because the Ariel isn't
very good one.
THE PICTURE OF THE GREAT DESERT.
This picture is a great work of art.
Il is an oil painting done in petroleum.
1t is by the old masters. 1t was the
last thing they did before dying. They
did this and then they expired
The most celebrated artists of Lon
don are so delighted with this picture
that they come to the hall every day
to gaze at it, Iwish you were nearer
to it-so you could see it better. !
wish | could take it TO your residences
and let you see it by daylight Some
of the greatest artists come here every |
morning before daylight, with Ian
terms, TO look at it, They say they
never saw anything like it before
and they hope they never shall again.
When first showed the picture in
New York, the audience were so en-
thusiastic in their admiration of this
picture that they called for the artist
and when he appeared they threw
brickbats at him.
BRIGHAM YOUNG.
p.;sLa-, V~--s hos two hundrf Il /
wives. Just think of that Oblige |
me by thinking of that That is, he
has eighty actual wives, and is spirit
ually married to one hundred and
twenty more. SO we may say he has
two hundred wives. He loves not
wisely, but two hundred well. He is
dreadfully married. He's the most
married man / ever saw.
| saw his mother-in-law while was
there. i can't exactly tell how many
there is of her, but it's a good deal.
1t strikes me that one mother-in-law
is about enough to have in one family
unless you're very fond of excite
mcnt
BRIGHAM YoUNG's FAMILY.
The last picture | have to show you
represents Mr.. Brigham Young in the
bosom of his family. His family is
large, and the olive branches around
his table are iD very tangled condi-
ton. lie is more a rather than any
man | know Of When at home-as
you here see him-he ought TO be
very happy, with sixty wives to min
lster TO his comforts, and twice as ,
sixty children to soothe his distracted
mind. All my friends, what is a
home without "A familv2