Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-03-17
MARK TWAIN.
He Tells all about WeIles' and
SeWard's Future Course.

Dead politicians reminding me OF
Grants Cabinet-for isn't there rumOr
that Gov. Fish is to be Secretary of some
thing ?-brings me back once more to
McCrRcken and his journey to Washing
ton.
You see, McCrscken was originally a
| PenIfsylvenisn, and when he learned
| that Grant had decided to select one OF
| his Cabinet from that State, Immediately
determined that he was the coming man.
| He was unsuccessful in the attempt to
see the General, who WAS having a pri-
vate interview with Marshal Browns
pups. but he saw MIR. Seward, and that
acute gentleman soon convinced him
| that he stood no chance whatever Of go
| ing into the Cabinet.
Said Mr.. Seward, McCrRcken, our
| day is over. There is no more keyhOIe
business for Us. The only way in which
spies can get employment in Washing
| ton for the next four years will be under
! Mr.. Sumner, who has heard that Grant
recently spoke of the negro as the " mig
ger,n and will probably set watch over
| him to find Ou5 if he ever repeats the
| expression, in which case he intends to
| have him Immediately impeacbed. No,
my friend, you are not the coming Penn
sylvsnian, Try and resign yourself.
resigned the other day, and found it quite
easy"
McCracken asked Mr.. Seward what he
! and the other members Of the Johnson
Cabinet intended to do with themselves.
" Mr.. Welles,u replied The venerable
| statesman, "intends to go into the junk
| shop business. All the engines which
| he has made for our men-s'-wsr will
necessarily be sold for old iron, if man
/ of ordinary intelligence Is made Sscre-
tRry of the Navy. Mr.. Welles knows
this, and means to buy the old iron
cheap, and endeavOr to make profit on
it by selling it to founders. Possibly,
however, he may prefer to go on the
stage, as l understand that Mr.. Wallsck,
| of New York, has offered him very
handsome salary If he will play Herges,
in Much ado About Nothing
"As for myself" continued Mr.. Saw
ard, don't know precisely what sha
do. Mr. Weed writes that his health
will no longer permit him to take charge
OF me, and offers to give Hugh Hastings
| power of attorney authorizing him TO
run ma for the rest of my days. But
| Hugh is little too slippery, and don't
like to give myself body and soul-st
least what regard as my soul, u said the
Secretary, correcting himself" to him,
as formerly did to Mr.. Weed. think
that shall give up politics and the resi-
estate business ana devote myself to lit
erature. have for some time had In
my mind the project of preparing COM
plete letter-writer for the use OF dipl0-
matists, business men and the people
generally. Gov. Wise, of Virginia, has
the same scheme in view, but l don't
fear his competition, for | can write
longer letters and more of them, In the
course of week, than he can. The
book would be rather large, though
think l could finish 1t in eighty or ninety
volumes; but the price of paper is al
most too high just now for such an eX
tensive undertaking. A man who has
the genius for writing letters that have
ought to put it TO some proper use. Why
do you know that the only reason why
the South began the war was that thG
rebels preferred to fight rather than tC
: read the dispatches which should have
sent to the Confederate Government i
we had attempted to settle the matter
amicsbly ?"
TIE gentlemen wandered on in thii
style for an hour or two-it was just afte
dinner-but McCracken managed to sliI
away and leave him. The poor old mar
will probably find no remunerative em
ployment, now that he is out Of Office