Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1869-11-04
John Smith.


John Smith-you've heari Of him-is very
bashful-is too bashful, in truth. lie was
born and raised in the country.
John once went TO the city and TO the resi-
dcnce of his fathers old friend, whom he found
to be very nice old gentleman, with a beau
tifu daughter, and gold spectacles.
John was ushered into the parlor, and mo-
/ toned to a seat--no a sofa.
But we must use his own language: took
my seat and made observations. Everything
was fine Fine carpets, fine sofas, fine tables,
fine curtains, fine books, fine pianos, fine every
thing, and especially fine young lady who
was dressed in fine silk fine satin, and who had
fine curls, and fine appearance generally.
After chatting with the old gentleman a few
minutes, he took down bis hat, told me to make
myself at home for an hour or two. and left
me alone with bis daughter aud small mis-
chevous boy, the young ady's brother. /
didn't relish the situation at ALL The idea Of
my keeping city belle engaged in CONVERSE
ton for two hours--perdition Silence reign
cd in the parlor for short time, you may bet
| amused myself as much as possible with the
boy-,hat is, loaned him my knife and watch
key, and watched him cut holes in the carpet
with one and spoil the other-I didn't know
what would have done had il not been for
that boy, he was so good to attract ones atten-
ton you know.
1t is true he asked some very startling ques-
tions occasionally, such as this for instance:-
" Are you going 10 court sister Emily?" but
such things must be expected under such cir
cumstances.
Miss Emily, thinking no doubt, that to be
good hostess, she must keep her guest engaged
in conversation, asked me I" how liked tho
country life, etc. She said that it must be
a beautiful sight to see the laborers, both malo
and female, rompng on the new mown hay Of
Newyears day that she always did think that
she would like to spend Christmas in the
country a nut gathering with the village lads;
that it always had been a mystery to her how
they got the eggs off the trees without breaking
them, etc.
In return thought TO keep up my part Of
the conversation, il was necessary for me 10
quote poetry and the like, which ] did Among
othe quotations, unfortunately repeated tho
well-known lines Of Shakespeare.
"There is divinity that shapes our ends,
Rough hew them as we will"
At this juncture, the boy, who had perchel
himself upon my knees, looked up very earn
estlyintom face and said: divinity shaped
the end Of your nose mighty curious" am
very certain that wished somebody would
spank him soundly; we'll we talked Of bills,
mountains, wales, cataracts-I believe said Of
water fall, when the boy spoke up and said.
Z" Why sisters got trunk full Of them up
stairs--pap says they are made out'en hoss
hair"
This revelation struck terror into me and
bushes into tile cheeks Of my fair companion.
It came TO be very apparent TO me that ]
must he very guarded in what I said, lest
said boy might slip IN his remarks at uncalled
for places. In fact turned all conversation
to him. told him he ought TO 60 home with
me- and see what nice chickens we had in the
country. Unluckily mentioned yoke Of
calves that my little brother owned The
word calves ruined ALL The little fellow look
ed up and said
Sisters got dezcn Of EN- but she don't
wear EN- only when she goes up in towen o
windy days"
4" Leave the room, you unmannerly little
wretch y exclaimed Miss Emily, leave i'm
mediately."
"a know what You want me 10 leave for"
replied be; "you can't fool me-you want to
set in that mans lap and kiss him like you
did Bill Simmons, the other day-you can't
fool me TIL just tell you. Gernme some candy
like he did, then I'll 60 You think because
you've got the Grecian Bend that YOU'RE smart.
Guess know thing or two. I'm mad at
you, anyhow, because pap would give me
new top yesterday, if IL hadn't been for a
gettin' them curls you've got, doggone yel
You needn't turn 50 red in your face, cause
can't see it for the paint"