The workingman's advocate., 1869-11-27
WIT AND WISDOM

IHE Last Sensation, "a tight shoe.
AN agricultural angle-a wheat corner
THB best board Of health-A light diet.
WHERE Gods rod strikes us, bis staff
supports us.
MEN don't ike wives Of buy-ways and
cross-ways.
The three most difficult things are-to
keep secret-to forget an injury-and to
make good use of leisure.
The hog may not Be thoroughly posted in
arithmetic, but when you come to s'square
root" be is there.
"TALK about crOcOdiles weeping" said
an old salt, why, blast my eyes, haven't /
seen whales blubber."
AN Irish absentee is said to have sent
this comforting message to ais steward
" Tell the tenant that no threats to shoot
yOG will terrify n'e!'
In Cork, the crier of the court anxious to
disperse the crowd around the bar, exclaim-
ed t: "All ye blackguards that isn't lawyers,
quit the court ~
JONES said to Nibble, Poor Lucinda
took that circumstance very much to heart
Nibbles replied, Did she, indeed The
dear girl. I wish was that circumstance" I"
AN Irish gentleman having q small pic
ture room, several persons desired to 90 in
at the same time. Faith, gentleman"
said be, +" il you all 90 in It will not hold
half Of you
"HOw came such a greasy mess in the
oven?" said a fdgety old spinster to her
maid-Ofall-wOrk. "Why," replied the girl,
" the candles fell into the water, and | put
them in the oven to dry"
A MAN, in telling about wonderful par
rot hanging in cage from the window of
house, which be had often passed, said
" It cries stop theft 50 naturally that
every time | hear it / GilOGys stop.
A GENTLEMAN who was waited upon "
a committee and asked to accept a nomin5.-
ton as alderman, replied: Gentlemen.
am incapable Of doing justice to the position.
l am troubled with dyspepsia"
HORNETS are long lived-I kant state jist
how long their lives are, but | know from
instinkt and observashen that emmy krittur,
be he bug or be he devil, who IL mad all the
Err, geuefuny Uurnvcs all his nabers.
A CELEBRATED comedian arranged bis
green grocer, one Berry, to pay him quar-
teTly, but the green grocer sent in his ac-
count long before the quarter was due. The
comedian, in great wrath, called upon the
green grocer, and, laboring under the inn
preston that his credit was doubted, said
"I say, here's null, Berry; you hive
sent in your bill Berry, before it is due,
Berry. Your father, the elder, Berry,
would not have been such goose, Berry
but you need not look Mack, Berry, for l
don't care strasO, Berry; and l shall not
pay you till Christmas, Berry"
ONLY Uery entire stranger would select
Fl. H., Of Kalamazoo, as an example Of
the worthy confraternity of Good Templars.
Such an one from a remote and rural lodge,
recently fell in with him at q convention II
the order, and taking him for a ealoJs broth
ers, began talk upon the prospects and
condition of the society. Feeling greatly
drawn toward Fl. Fl. BY the modest and fer
vent manner Of his statements, be at length
said: "Have you long been a member Of
the order p Ever since l was a little
boy" Indeed, | was not aware it was
alive 50 long ago. What is the name Of
your lodge N IS. IT,, 1860, X" replied
III. Fl.
Tue following is the manner in which the
editor Of the Honesdale Herald gives a
man in bis town q free puff: "A grocer
wants us to puff lot Of butter be recently
purchased, and sends US pound as a spec
linen. The butter don't need puff from
Us. It il old enough to speak for itself y
outranks anything we ever saw. Forty
cents a mound "