The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-05-28
THE INSURANCE. CLERK.


There was I, as comfortable a young
fellow as wore nice kid gloves, in Bos-
ton. My salary Was eighteen hundred
year. had reasonable vacation.
[ liked the other clerks, and they liked
me. / understood my business, as it
proved, only too we'll. Best ofall, per-
haps, | had fitted no my two rooms at
Mrs. Thayer's as prettily as heart could
wish. The bed was lasge enough, and
you could air the bedroom, The car
pets were ingrains OF small figure; they
were cheap, but of that dark claret and
black which give warm tone and make
things comfortable. Not too many
pictures, but those hung low enough
Not too many books, but the free list
at the old Boston Library, four or five
cards at the public library, and three or
four friends on the staff there, a minis
ter's right at the Athenaum, and a
pleasant intimacy with Loring. I owed
no man dollar. [ had no enemy in
the world. was at home in dozen
nice, cordial families of friends; and
what more could man require? OF a
sudden the bolt fell Or is it a sword
that falls? believe it is a sword. -
Make it ''sword," Mr.. Proof Reader
vi 5uUuCn IllC oW lSll
Thus:
The office that was in was the ncw-
ly-established 'Methuselah and Adme-
tus Life Assurance Company" TO say
assurance instead of insurance is rather
natty; it sounds English, and people
fancy the Barings and the Bank of
England pay the bills. "Methuselah"
was to attract the biblical and ''Adme-
tusn the classical gudgeons. For,
though the great hope of the man who
insures his life is that nc may be belov-
ed of the gods, and so die young, yet,
practically, people insure in the vague
feeling that they thus take bond
against death or turn him the cold
shoulder. 1t /; somewhat as you carry
an umbrella in the hope OF preventing
rain. We had got our advertisements
and prospectuses out, and really we
had great many new features. Ii you
held our script eleven years and four
months, and then did not sell it for two
years and one month more, at the end
OF that time we declared a dividend of
four-nineteenths of all the profits be-
fore undivided, after striking a balance
between two-elevenths of the risks and
seventy-three per cent. of the premi-
ums, reserving, of course, S37 ,273, GAP II
to secure the cousins of the bond-hold-
ers. That feature may have been in
some other companies, but never saw
it. We had very fine sign in front of
our Office in Queen street, VITA pic
ture of Methuselah kissing A dmetus,
and Elcestic crying in the corner, be-
cause her husband could not die, be-
lieye. Within, we had velvet carpet
for the presidents room, tapestry car
pet for the directors room. English
Brussels for the seerctary's, American
Brussels for ours, and that nice, clear
Russian mat, that smells so pleasantly,
of tar, for the customers. We had COM
Portable chairs and all the newspapers.
| should have been there to this hour
| suppose but that one day very stu
pid customer came in. Not but this
often happened. But this day the
president found his velvet lonesome,
and had come forward into our Office
| thought he was reading the COrnhiH,
but, as it happened, he was listening
over his spectacles to me. That sem
tence is not quite right, but l cannot
alterit People DO not listen over their
spectacles-they listen over their col
lars; they "peek" over their spectacles.
planned and explained to the customer,
who finally wenta away without custom
ing. He took the little pink book, and
the large blue pamphlet, and the card
with the head of Methuselah, and both
the little cards; but he did not take out
a policy, and he did not say he would.
am sure did not wonder, but it seems
the President did.
ssVhot did Won COW to that vNo,, %, o;1
he.
81 explained the system oflife insur-
anee-l mean life assurance"-said l
'sas we'll as oould.p
"Yes," said the President. "But
what did you tell him about the invalid
lives 2"
30, had shown the Northampton
tables, and the Carlislsstables and the
equitable tables, and / repeated to him
Cowper's lines to the Registrar"
81 know, l know" said the Pres;-
dent, who is little hasty, though he is
my aunt Lucy's brother-in-law, which
accounts for my beng there indeed; "I
know all that, but what we're you say
ing about Invalid lives?"
"Why, explained to him that moth
ing was so certain as the average law of
death. We had these tables, and so we
knew on an average Just how long peo-
pie would live. And we fixed our risks
accordingly, so as TO meet the average.
And he asked me why he was to 90 to
q medical examiner, then. And / told
him that it was because we only want
ed to insure healthy lives. And he
asked me whether only healthy lives
came into the tables of mortality
whether they were only healthy people
who lived in Carlisle and northampton
and the rest-and why we did not do
our business on our own principles, and
take healthy people and sick people to-
gether. And | told him that if the
company did not make any profit, we
could not keep up the office. And he
asked why we did not say so in the
prospectus, and what was the use of
making so much talk about the certain
ty of the average of mortality, when
we had nothing to do with the average
of mortality, but only with some of the
best lives in the community. l told
him that was our business, and not his.
And he said he thought the profit of
the business ought to come to the peo-
pie who paid the money. And L said
if he thought that lie had better 90 to a
mutual company; he would find one
the other side of the street. And then
he went away"
1t was the longest address ever made
to my aunt's brother-in-law, and it did
not seem to be satisfactory. He scowl-
ed and said, 81 don't wonder" And
then he went away. The next day /
received q note informing me that my
services were no longer needed. He
inclosed check for the balance due
me-filty-seven dollars and eleven
cents-and that was all. | took my
umbrella and my ofiice-coat, babe the
clerks goodbye, and went home. And
| have never been there since,-The Ing
ham Papers.
tE| Some new scenes have recently
been added to the "Grand Duchess OF
Gerolstein" IN Richmond, Va. One of
these scenes is the examination CT Cap