Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1869-10-27
Mark Twain on Mr.. Beecher.


The Rev. Henry Ward Beecher's private
habits are the subject of Mark Twain Ia
test contribution to the Buffalo Express.
The whole article is extremely funny, but
that portion which relates to Mr. Beecher's
farming experience is in the humorist' smost
extravagant vein, and quite equal to his best
efforts. 1t is as follows:
"Mr. Beecher's farm consists Of thirty six
acres and is carried on on strict scientific
principles. He never puts in any part of a
crop without consulting his book He plows
and reaps sad digs and sows according to the
best authorities-r the authorities cost
more than the other farming implements DO.
AS soon as the library is complete tie farm
will begin to be a profitable investment
But book farming has its drawbacks. Upon
one occasion, when it seemed morally certain
that the hay ought to be cut, the hay book
could not be found-and before it was found
1t was too late and the hay was all spoiled
Mr.. Beecher raises some of the finest
crops of wheat in the country, but the un-
| favorable difference between the cost of pro-
| produced has interfered considerably with
its slccess as a commercial enterprise. His
special weakness is hogs however. He con-
sieers hogs the hest game the farm produces.
He buys the original pig fer dollar and a
half, and feeds HIN forty dollars Horth of
corn, and then sells him for about nine dol-
lals. This IS the only crop lie ever makes
any money on. He loses on the corn, but
he makes seven dollars and a half on the
hog. He does not mind this, because he
never expects to make anything on corn,
anyway. And then he has the excitement
of raising the hog anyhow, whether he gets
the worth of him or not. His Strawberries
would be comfortable success if the robins
would eat turnips, but they wont, and hence
the difficulty.
Zone of Mr.. Beecher's most harrassing
| difficulties in his farming operations comes
of the close resemblance of different sorts
of seeds and plants to each other. Two years
ago, his far r-sightedness warned him that
there was going to be great scarcity ot
water melons, and therefore he put in a cror
I vi -scNcI dSiCS w Shat Lulu LIZ
when they came up they turned out to be
pumpkins, and a dead loss was the conse
quence. Sometimes portion of his croT
goes into the ground the most promisin!
sweet potatoes, and comes up the internal
est carrots-thoagh never have heard hin
express it in Just that way. When he bough
his farm he found one egg in every hens nes
on the place. He said that here was JUS
the reason why So many farmers tailed-
they scattered their forces too much-con
centration was the idea. So he gathere
those eggs together and put them all unde
one experienced old hen. That hen rooste
over that contract night and day for eleye
weeks under the anxious supervision of MI
Beecher himself but she could not phase
those eggs. Why? Because they wer
: those Internal porcelain things which ar
4 used by ingenious and fraudulent farmers q
NEST eggs" But perhaps Mr.. Beecher
y most disastrous experience was the time b
!, !, tried to raise an immense crop of dried al
Il pies He planted fifteen hundred dollar
Il worth, but never one of them sprouteC
He has never been able to understand to TIL
II day, what was the matter with those apples.