The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-05-21
dItit an6 Dutttur,

M u HWu UHWlup+
-------~---~~>~>--~-~>~- -0~-~--~~-~-o-~-~--o~~
Lame conclusion-a sore foot.
- Light diet-The feast oflaaterns.
= Available space-A woman's
face.
- Burning words-A dictionary
on fire.
Tho harness of life-The traces
Of time.
"A Wooden Wedding-Marry ing
block head.
a Golden Wedding Marrying
for money.
"A Crystal Notwithstanding
a "glass eye"
"A Tin Notwithstanding a
milkmaid.
- Paper Wedding-Marrying an
editor.
- silver Misunderstanding an
old maid of sixty.
-AsLinen Misunderstanding a
laundress
Every belle who marres is a
Belle Boyed.
- Can chance shot be termed a
deed without an aim
~ The earth is believed to be the
first revolver invented.
"A girl that has losG her beaux,
may as well hang up her fiddle.
- In a game of cards good deal
depends OH good deal.
- The most dangerous bat that
fiiQc a piabt ic ho h,.in
- Which senator wears the largest
hat? The one with the largest head.
-. Why are good resolutions like
fainting ladies They need carrying
out.
- No wonder that the squirrel is
accused Of chattering--he is certainly a
great tail-bearer.
- Why are old maids the most
charming. people? Because they are
all matchiess.
"A Gravestone in the Rockville,
Conn., cemetery has this epitaph:
In memory of Jane Bent.
Who kicked up her heels and away
she went.
Jake lend me ten dollars till 1
sell my dog Says Jake, sympathetic
OdlIJ, DVh oCli MN.
- Tell me, dear sir, are you fond
of tongues always was, madam, and
like it still.
- Why do bald-headed men take
joke quicker than others! Because
they arc not troubled to get it thro'
their hair.
- An Indiana man advertises his
wife a. having deserted him jus5 at the
time of commencing summer work, at
ter he bad been at The expense of win
tering her.
Some fellow advertises for a
horse for lady of dark color a good
trotter, and of stylish action! The
horse must be young, and have long
tail about fifteen hands high
"Buy trunk, Pat !" said a deal
er. "And what for should l buy a
trunk?" reioined Pat. ITO put your
cloths in" was the reply.-"And go
naked ?-the divil a bitiv it,"
- An Irishman who had been en-
gagged to cut ice, when handed cross
cut saw to commence operations with,
pulled out a copper cent, and turning
to his comrade, said. Now, Pat fair
play, head or tail, who goes below
Il II, Edlu Il young uOpOlul buc
other day, "didn't hear you say you
wanted cider press?"
"Yes, my son; where can get one p
aeked the parent.
"Why you jest try Jake Stokes. By
the way he Rugged sister Sal the other
night, out by the gate, should think
he might he about the thing you want. .
Sal suddenly left to see the things in
the kitchen, and the old gent recollect-
ed that he had not "seen to the piece
of fence that neighbor jones critters
broke down the other day."
Look hea, Sam, said Niger
to field hand over the fence-look a
hea-d'ye see dat tall tree down dar
Yes, jim does.
Wall got up dat tree night afore to-
morrow.
What you up dat tree arter?
| was arter coon.
You cotch him Jim?
Wait till l tell de fax, Sambo.
Well exceed.
Ichased de coon out to de udder end
OF dat longest limb and den hear sun
fin drap-What you 'spose it was Sam
De coon oh cose.
No you don't twas dis here foolish
nigga-like to broke he neck-bin linn
pin ever since.