The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1869-09-24
NAHBY.
Mr Nasby Takes IsSOk ever tIse Political
Horizon and gives The ResuII Thereof
Mock Chunk witch is in the State

nv fenuSiFauy1- sept H. 1869 J
i At last [ hev struck a haven u
+ rest. At last ] hev a shoor abidii
place, for a time at least How Ion.
/ | may stay, or how soon [ may b
compelled to pick up my landlord
spare shirt and travel, | can't tell
But wat do [ care? For the presen
| am under the wing NV a man Wit
hez twent7 millions Nv dollars, auC
who is yoOsin it at a terrific rate
Some few w the drops NV the COLDER
shower is a fallin onto me. and l an
content That IS, am content per
sonally. | am ez we'll off ez | coOC
be. | hev twice penetrated the au
gust presence Nv the Democratic can
didate for Governor of Pennsilvany
representa- myself ez President ul
a Democratic club in Philadelphy
and twice have | received a hundred
dollars to carry on the good work
The young man wieh guards the outer
door NV the eandidatOrial manshen Is
most acoot Judge Nv human nacher
The servant at the door askt for
credenshels, at wicL the young man
who happened to be in the hall, no
tiein ne, rebuked him for delayin
me.
'sTGrence!" remarkt he sharply,
"admit all sich noses without ques-
ton. YoO bet they are our friends.
That nose hez cost me thousands
NV other peoples dollars to keep it
up in color. Thank Heaven, its repay
in me some NV the trouble | hev gone
10 on its account.
I am well enuff eff, and possibly
ought to be satisfied, but the condi-
shen Nv the Dimocrisy afiix me.
The fact IL. we are in a bad way, and
ther ain't NO way out Nv it. We amt
got no yoonanimity-we amt got
nothin to fite for, aud the country
hez he'd universally good crops. The
weather's bin agin US: EFF we Good
hev he'd rain iu harvest enuff TO hev
rustid the wheat, and euuff follerin
the wheat harvest to hev ,rOtted the
pertaters, and then a JUICY attack Nv
cholera aud yellow fever, aud other
disorders Nv the nacher, so thet the
people Good hev got dissatisfied and
ugly and sich, ther wood hev bin
some hope for US The potato rot in
western Pennsilvany wood hev made
thousands Nv votes this fall alone. But
watts the yoose NV talkin to farmers
with teers in yoOr eyes Nv country
goiD to rooin, when every mothers
son Nv EN- hev ther pockets stuffed
with greenbax and a barn full Nv
wheat to bring more? Watts the
yoose Nv clamorin for change when
the country's doin ez we'll ez it kin
anyhow?
Then agin, our management hez Lin
friteful. In Ohio, we made bogg!e
at the beginnin, in the nomenashen NV
Rosecrans. 1t wuzn't in the nacher
NV things for our patriots who had
shot officers sent out by this Rose
Grams to arrest their sons wich he'd
taken bounty and he'd deserted to
Canady, to vote for Roseerans, par
tiklerly ez hundreds NV en- he'd been
dragged to Bastiles for emptyin their
rifles at EN-. The hurrahs stuck in
their throats. | must confess that
they made brave attempt at it, but
they looked sick while they did it..
Their efforts to hurrah for Rosecrans,
and the face they made Nv it remind
ed ME Nv an insident wich occurred to
me wunst.
I he'd friend whose name it vas
Brown, who wuz given to indulgence
in the flown bOle to fearful extent.
Wun mite he attempted to be con-
vivyel on new brand NV whiskey,
and it foored him. At IL p. NJ. |
found him clingin to a lamp post and
vomitin ez tho ther wuz a minatOor
earthquake into his insides.
"Brownl' remarked l, layin my
hand affectionately onto his shoulder,
"Brown, are you sick p
",Siek! Sick p replied he, swingin
around to the other side NV the post
and discharging another avalanche.
''Sick | HI! do yoO think I'm doin
this for the fun NV the thing?"
Our Democrats in Ohio swallered
Rosecrans, but their hurrahs were so
much like the retchin Nv a man with
a load onto his stumick, that it re-
minded me Nv nay friend Brown.
In Pennsylvania we amt much bet
ter off, Our candidate hez pints
about him. He wuz a copperhed
doorin the war, wich makes all NV
that class Nv Democrats enthoosias-
tic in his support; but Oh tother hand
it drives off the war Democrats, with
out wich we amt worth shucks. He
hez money though, anu ez he's bleed
in freely he may keep the organiza-
shen alive till we kin make a fite with
man wich We kin elect.
The principle trouble is however to
find out wat Democracy is at this
juncture. In Ohio its agin nigger
ekality and in favor Nv either payin
off the bonds in greenbacks or repu-
diashun !; In Tennessee it's nigger suf-
frage and nigger ofis hOldin; in Con
necticut its payin the bonds in gold,
interest and principal In CalifOrny
its anti Chinese, and In Loosiana, its
Chinese. In Maine our people are
runnin a perhibert)ry likker law, and
everywhere else they're for free whis-
ky. ID Illinois, Democracy is free
trade in Pennsylvany, its high pro-
tective tariff, and so on around. In
short its so high mixed that L wood
ent agree to 90 from one county to
another to make speeches, without
having first carefully ascertained wat
the Democracy Nv that pertikeler
county believed in.
l got Democratic papers from all
the Stats one day, aud by persistent
reading NV EN- for five hours, l be
came so mixed as to be a pr0misiB
candidate for loonatic Asylum.
[ shell stay wher am so long ez
there is anything to be got out Nv
the posishen. [ hev personated a
Cheerman NV Philadelfy Committees
twice with success tomorrow l shell
try it agin, and after that sich other
characters as may occur to me. /
must make hay while the sun shines,
for the furious assaults onto Packer 5
pile is redoosin it fearfully.
PETROLEUM V. MASSEY,
Wich wuz P0stmas ter.
The Louisville Courier-Journal
is a Democratic paper, but it thus
cri+icisas the Hon GEORGE TT. PEN