davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27
Jhe Albang Re9}steE.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY p. 1869.
For the Register
LIGHT AND SHADE.
Bf hIN&IE NAY

Cloal. o'ersIrcad the sky TO day
Sun nshnc SON the gloom disrrls.
Droulas ;hc flJwerets bloom S.!uvs,
Showers their budding forth for>te.ls.
Such is life thus sorrows vanish,
Alternate thus comes veal sud woe.
To-day bright Hope sftiirtious bani.h,
Thus joys and SORROWS come aud go.
The darkest hour Fate orjiains US
Wife soon give place to brighter rays;
Despair not then. th, re still rem ains us
Sweet memories past and better Saye
Look up, thungh dark the tempest to~crs,
SHAKE OF tae fears that b.ni.h joy
Have faith, bright sunshine fo!lo~s showers
Lit hope afliction's dross alloy.
Albany, Feb. Il, '69.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27
a Genuine Yankee.
Oregon.

"Hallo, my good friend, can you in
form me how far it is to the next house?"
Jonathan started up--leaned on his
hoe handlc-rested one foot on the
gan,brel of his sinister leg aud replied:
"Hallo yourself! how d'you dew
Wall, / guess [ can. sI'aint near as far
as it used to be before they cut tho
woods away-then it was generally reck-
oned four mile, but BOW the sun shrivels
up the road. and don't make it more'n
tew. The frst house you cune to Is a
barn, and the next is hay stack
Hoskin's kouse is on beyont. You'll be
sure to meet his gals long before you get
there tarnal rompin' critters, they
plague our folks more'n a little. His
sheep get into our orchard. Dad sets
the dog artcr the sheep and me arter the
girls-ands the way they make the wool
and [ the pettieoats fly, is a sin to
snakes"
Il see you are inclined to be facetious,
young man-pray tell me how it hap
pens that one of your legs is shorter than
the other 2"
81 never allows anybody to meddle
with my grass tanglers, but sesin' it's
you. Eli tell you. I was born SO at my
'ticular request, so that when [ hold the
plow, [ can go with one foot in the fur
row aud t'other on land, and not lop
over; besides, it is convenient when I
mow around a side hill."
every good, indeed-how do your
potatoes come out this year ?"
They don't come out at all. digs
'em out-and there's tarnation snarl of
of them in each hill"
ssBut they are small, perceive"
eyes. know it. You see, we planted
some whoppiu' blue noses over in that
ere patch there, and they fourished so
all firedly that these ere stopped CROWN
just out fspite, cause they knowcd they
couldn't keep up"
"You appear 20 be pretty smart, and I
should think you could afford better
hat than the one you wear"
''The looks amt nothin, it's all in tho
behavior. This 'ere ha.was my religious
Sunday go to meetin' hat, and it's chock
full OF piety now I've got better one
to hum, but / don't dig taters in it, no
how"
"You have been in these .parts somc
time, should guess"
81 should guess so tcw I was born'd
and got my brot'n up in that ere house !;
but my native place is down in Por-
| dunk"
"Then you say it's about three miles
| and a-half to the next house ?''
Yes, sir; twas a spell ago, and I
don't believe it's crowd much shorter
since. Goodbye toye. That's darn'd
slick mare of your NJ
AS the rose is composed OF the sweet
est flowers and the sharpest thorns; as
the heavens are sometimes overcast,
alternately tempestuous and serene; so
is the life of man intermingled with
hopes and fears, with joys and sorrows,
with pleasures and with pains.
Miss Sarah P. Redmond, an Ameri-
can colored girl, recently graduated as
NJ p. at the principal medical school in
Florence, Italy.
In the first number of the London
Punch for the current year, is a preface,
dedicating the volume for 1869 to Cen
eral Ulysses s. Grant, in Mr.. Punch
most complimentary style.
j A Madrid correspondence OF the inter-
national says, with shocking indeiicacy,
"General Prim is believed here to 90 the
father Of No. Sand No. 5 of Isabelias
] little Ones"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27

SET No MoRE TRAPS.-A CO empo-
rary tells, or rather lets the hero of the
incident tell, of a German matchmaker
of Portland, who, hearing Of the frequent
burglaries, concluded to fortify his store
against the gentry who work with skele-
ton keys and crow-bars. The watch
maker said:
"I lear much tiugs about te burglars
all vile / hears they breaks stores in
to 'em very much. Veil, links vixcs
'em, so that the next time that they
coomes to my stores, by tam, they no
gum. [ puys pig horse bistel, and
fastens it to the floor. init de lnoozle
pointin' to de door So den I runs a
string from de drigger up NIT der vail
aud down nit der door, SO ven MIR. Pur-
gIar opens himself nit der door, w if he
ploze de prains out of the bistel, Wy den,
you see can't help it, don't it ? That's
vot [ say. Last night l left dc door
pointing at de moozle of de bistel nit
two bullets in it, unit goes out to drink
some lager NIT ter boys, l sometimes
drinks too much lager. Veil, [ cant
help it. [ bores myself into more ash
twenty sixteen klass lager, unt den |
goes home, Ven I pass mine store dinks
I better ash look in unit see if nothing
pese all right. That is right, don't it!
1t it don't l amt can't help it. Veil nit
SO many glasses of me in der lager, for
get about der hors bistel unit ter door
pointin der moozle. unit ven makes open
NIT ter door, bang! by tam, joost gets
| pullet nit my elbow unit anodcr pullet
get mine hat, through it all the vile
Vost / scarf? Veil, if vos can't help
it. You'd be scarf yourself, amt it?
joost throw away de hors bistel, un /
never sets no more traps for burglars SO
| long as cau't help it. Sop
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27
A SMALL Boys COMPOSITION.

A SMALL BOYS CoMposITIoN-
Corn are of all kinds. Vegetable and
animal. Vegetable corn grows in rows,
and animal corn grows on GOES There
are several kinds of corn. There Is uni
| corn, capricorn, corl-dodger, field corn,
| and toe corn, which is the corn you feel
the most. 1t is said, | believe, that
gophers like corn but persons having
coFns DO not like to ''go far" it they can
help it. Corn have kernels, aud some
colonels have corns. Vegetable corn
grows on ears, but animal corn grows on
feet at the otacr end of the body.
Another kind OF corn is acorn These
grow on oaks, but there is a hoax about
| the corn. The acorn is corn with an
indefinite article, but the co II is very in-
definite indeed. Try it aud see. Many
| man, when he has corn, wishes it were
an acorn. Folks that have corns some
times send for a doctor, and if the doctor
himself is corned, he would do probably
as we'll as if he isn't. The doctors say
corns are produced by tight boots or
shoes, which is probably the reason why,
when man is tight, they say he is
corned. If farmer manages we'll, he
| can get good deal Of corn on one acre,
but | know u farmer that has corn that
makes the biggest acre on his farm.
The bigger the crop of vegetable corn a
| man raises, the better he likes it, but the
bigger crop OF animal corn he raises the
better he does not like it. Another kind
of corn is corn dodger. The way it is
made is very simple, and is as follows
Chat is if you want to know; You go
along street and meet a man you know
has corn, and is a rough character
then you step on the toe that you know
| has corn on it, and see if you don't have
occasion to dodge. In that way you will
find out what a ccrn dodger is.
/ PRETTY GooD.-The following .sitem, .
| together with several others of the same
character, is published in the Figaro un-
| der the head OF g Interior Items; from
| our exchanges" In the matter of de-
| tail, it is quite as satisfactory. and no
doubt contains as much truth, as many
of the s'interior items,'' published in the
| San Francisco dailies:
| Three women while amusing them
selves in Ca!averas county met with a
serious accident. They were jumping
| across shaft 500 feet deep and 10 feet
wide. One of them couldn't quite max G
it and succeeded only in grasring a sage
brush on the opposite edge, where she
hung suspended. Her companions who
had just slipped to an adjacent saloon
saw her peril, and as soon as they had
finished drinking went to her assistance
Previously to iberating Eer, one of them
by way of joke uprooted the bush
This exasperated the other and she threw
her companion halfway across the shaft
She then attempted to cross over to the
other side at two jumps. The affair has
| made considerable talk
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27

The death of negro, 110 years old,
is announced at Winnsboro, South Caro-
linn
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27

enti,l men cf the times, which he always
AYERS is more due to Nellie's s;rataScm
than $. Marrying a Fortune
WAsN'T on THE MARRY.-The Shas-
ia Courier of January 23d is responsible
for the following I've had good joke
on resident OF Dog Greek the other day.
The party referred to is a bachelor and
lives on the wagon-road y few days
ago an cm:crant wagon from Oregon
c.lne along aud camped near our friends
place. The head of the family soon
made himself acquainted with the pro-
prietor of the premises, aud he asked
him why he didn't get woman to keep
house tor him. The answer was that he
willing to enter into the bonds of inatri-
mony could be found. The Oregonian
| remarked that he could find him part
| ner if he would take her. The bachelor
| sid that was right iuto his hand, aud
| the einiSrant invited him to his camp.
| The Oreyonian called up bouncing
damsel oi' about twenty years. and in-
| formed her that the gentleman accom-
panyins him was .on the ni.rry,' and
willing to take her for better or for
/ worse he danisel, del.gatea with the
prospect, advanced, and seiz;ug our
| friend by the hard, assured him that she
| was Slsd to meet him, and Was ready to
marry him at the drop OF the hat, while
the old lazy hastened up and congratula-
/ ted her carter on her good luck. Sur
p,iised and alarmed st the serious turn
matters had taken, our friend, who was
constitutioaaiIy opposed to the in>titu-
tcn OF natr-,ony, enLeavored to oexpl~in,
by s.yias that he Was only jc.lng aud
did not want to marry. At this the
Oregoniaa bccoaie very aignan:, and
the would be bride requested her father
to take HE rife and 'drap the yarmiut in
his tracks At this affectionate suyges-
tion the bachelor left for his Notifications
the last thing he heard being the voice
of the old lady eonsoling her disappointed
'darter' with the remark that it was
best TO 'let the blk go, as he weren It
man enough to do her anyhow
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27

A man is being tried in Cincinnati for
stealing cat.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27
Joining the aEasons.

hnobbs has joined the Masons, and
heie is his experience in getting into a
Lodge:
must tell you Of the perils aud trials
l. had to undergo to become Mason
On the evening in question | presented
myself at the door OF Lod ge room No
1866. sign of the skull and crossbones
| Was conducted to an ante room, where
five or SIX melancholy chaps, in sashes
aud embroidered napkins, were waiting
to receive me. On my entrance they all
got up and turned back-somer. aults and
then resumed their seats. A big fat fel-
low who sat in the middle, aud who
seemed to be the proprietor. then said ::
Simmer from the other void, advance ="
[ advanced. "AVill you give up every
thing to join us p Not if I know it."
| said; There arc my wife and fourteen
fine" Another party here told me
to say ''I es, as it was merely matter
of form so I said Yes, | give up every
thing" The fellows in the towels then
xroaned and said "'Tis well. Do you
swear never to reveal anything you may
sec or hear this evening to any human
being, nor your wife p [ said ..'Pon my
word. will not" They then examined
my teeth and felt my taste of liquor, and
make me put out my tongue, then groaned
again. | said. of you don't feel we'll [
have got little bottle here" The fat
man here took the bottle from me and
told me 70 shut up. lie then, in a voice
Of thunder said, Bring forth the goat!'
Another fellow then come up with big
cloth to blind me. NO you don't, Mr..
Mason,' said; "no tricks on travellers,
ii you please; l don't believe in playing
biindman's buff with goat I'll ride
the devil, if you, like but | don't go it
blind. Stand back or I'll knock you into
sn,ithereens." They were too hnuch for
me, so l had to submit to being blind
| fulded. The goat was then led in. and
could hear him making All awful rack ct
among the furniture. | began to feel
| that | was urgently wanted at home, but
I WAS in for it and could not help myself
! Three or four fellows then seized me,
and With demoni.cal laugh pitched
me on the animals back, telling me at
| the same time to look ont for squalls.
haze been in good many scrapes, Mr..
Editor; have been in election fights
| I've been pitched out of afour-story
window; | have gone down in a rail
road collision; but this little goat
excursion was ahead of them all. The
confounded thing must be all wings and
horns. 1t bumped me against chairs
and tables, and the stoves and the ceiling,
but | hung on like a Trojan. l turned
front somersaults and rolled over [
| thought it was all over with me- T was
just on the point of giving up, when the
bandase fell from my eyes and the goat
bounded through the window with yell
like a Commanche Indian giving up the
ghost ! was in Lodge of Masons
They were dancing war-dance around
a big skull, and playing leap-frog and
turning handsprings, and the big fat fell
low of the ante-room was standing on his
! head in the coruer
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27
). You have taken the

claimed abruptly. 8 You have taken the
col,ccit out of nie." :"
Bat though itch, he did not leave his
profession and eater into his careless,
idle life again; he steaiiiy pushed his
way mp, and now is one OF the most infiu-
ental men Of the times, which he always
AYERS is more due to Nellie's s;ratasen
than g Marrying a Fortune
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-02-27

in the southeastern part of the State of
Nevada, about one hundred and eighty
miles southeast of Austin, is a remarkable
mountain of pure salt. In small pieces
it is quite transparent, and SO remarkably
hard as to require blasting. It is five
miles in length. six hundred feet in hight.
and Of an unknown depth.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-12-15
VIRGINIA NEWS.

The Grand Lodge of Masons, Of reinlo,
last night, elected Thomas F. Ovens, Of Nor
folk, Grand Master; VIM l.. Moale, of Rich.
moud, Deputy Grand Master; Robert r With
ers, Of Lynchburg, Senior Warden; VIM. h.
Lambert, of Alexandria, Junior Warden; Thos.
n. Dudley, Of Richmond, Grand Treasurer;
DR.. John Dnre. of Richmond, Grand Secre
tary; VIM. b. Taiialerro Of Gloucester Senior
Deacon Judge Richard Parker, Junior Dea-
COZ.
The trial of James Bullock, charged with
the murders Of Samuel Folke and John Nc
Neelus, came of before the Hastings Court Of
Fredericksburg last week. These sansuiuary
affairs occurred at the head OF Commerce
street, on The 10th OF September last. Bul
lock was found guilty in the second degree, and
sentenced to nine years in the penitentiary IN
the one case, and i've yers IN the second case
John s. Caskie formerly member of Con
gress for eight years from the Richmond Dis
trict, is lying dangerously i'll at his residence in
Richmond.
CHESAPEAKE AND OHIo CANAL COMPANY.
In tho baltimore Circuit Court, yesterday,
the Chesapeake: Bank and John S. Cuttings
claiming to be the large holders of the bonds
ot the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal Company,
filed Jill on behalf of themselves aud
all other creditors against the canal com
pany to restrain its officers from carrying into
effect an agreement alleged to have been enter
ed into without their consent or that of other
creditors, for the payment out Of the revenues
of the company Of First, the overdue cou
pons on the preferred bonds TO July |, 1854,
inclusive; second, interest on the funding Ger.
titcates issued in July, 1858, to October st,
1869; third, interest on the debt due Selden
Withers & Co. fourth, all coupons redeemed
by the State Of Virginia up to July lst, 1854
and also to restrain the company from carrying
into effect any other agreement not assented to
by all the creditors, or from applying its reve
nues to any other purpose than the payment
OF Its lien debts due, on the order OF their
priority, as may be determined. The bank
claims to hold s., 900 oil the repair bonds, SIS
500 OF the preferred bonds, guaranteed by the
State OF Virginia, and SIS, 500 of the preferred
bonds not so guaranteed, aud Mr.. Cuttings
claims to hold $500 of the rel,air bonds and
81 900 of the preferred guaranteed bonds. The |
bill alleges that the State of Virginia has failed
to comply with her duties as guarantor, and |
einnot, whllo thas in default enforce her claims |
against the company TO the detriment OF other |
creditors, and that the en.ent alleged to |
nave been entered iGto is illegal and subyersiye |
oil tie legal rights oi the holders of the com |
lany bonds. The application having been |
heard, the Court ordered an interlocutorv in |
luacuon 10 be issued upon the omnl,in,nts |
hing an approved bond in the sum of $50, 600 |
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-12-15
Foreign News.

4 eunshop 10 Dublin was entered last night
by persons unknown, and its owner shot. The
assassins escaped. Another guushop was en-
tered shortly afterwards. the owner was fired
at, and number OF pistols taken away.
The Carlists are very active on the French
and Portuguese frontiers.
Paul Angelo, Deputy to the Spanish Cortcs,
md fugitive from Spain, has been ordered IL
eavc France.
The Empress has writtena letter to the Pope
xpressing retret at not being able to visit him
The Bishops have brought great numoer
{ addresses and presents TO the Pope 1t /,
tfictalIy stated that, since 1859, the Holy s.,
mas r, ccived 100, 600 900 francs from the con
ributions OF Peters pence.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-12-15
NEWS OF TIE DAP.
-'7o sae~ the rery age and body Of the Times.

At meeting of Ohio, Indiana and Ken
lucky distii!ers, 10 Cincinnati, on Monday, an
association was formed styled The Western
Dstlers, Their object is to protect the In
tere,ts OF the Government, fix the vslue OF
their produces, retain the present law, IL POS
sibIe, assist Congress to preSent frauds ana 10
protest against . reduction OF the time Tor
iermenuug.
Near Stockton, California, Oh the night or
December 9th A keeper of grocery store,
aud four other men, we're murdered by rob
bers. 10 the same neiehborhood, few lights
previously, store was piundered aud buried,
and the bodies OF two men WHO occupied II
were subsequently, found in the risei adjacent
Conrad Fuzer l. Son. extensive Autograph
ers in New York, we're sent 10 jill in that city
yesterday, in default OF $40 600 bail each.
charged with forging and printing revenue
stamped checks. About 100000 counterfeit
checks were found upon their persons.
In the case OF Caldwell committed for extra
diuon at Montreal. for completely in tho New
York Custom House frauds, the motion for
the prisoners discharge has been dismissed. -
He will probably appeal.
One OF the victims OF the Mast Hope
slaughter on the Erie roilroad has obtained
in the Supreme Court of New York yer
dict for $4,000 damages against the Com
pany.
The office of the Northern Central Railroad
Company at EImira, was robbed on Monday
night OF checks and drafts to the value Of 49,,
900 and about $500 in greenbacks.
The baloting 10 the Kentucky Legislature
yesterday, FOR United States Senator, resulted
in no election 1t is believed that McCreery,
present incumbent, will be chosen to day.
Two boys nineteen aud twenty years OF age,
respectively, have been dealing heavily 10 coun
terfeit 800 notes in New York, and are now
waiting, in durance, to be tried tor the offence.
A recent resident Of Hoboken, New Jersey,
| named Thomas Greenwood, received $1,000
some days ago, from his former home 10 Lii
nos, and has since mysteriously disappeared.
The Avoudale fund amounts to 1926, 671 81
but less than $4,000 have been distributed
| The balance, with small exception, is in
| vested.
Neal Mclaughlin, one OF the Brooks assas
sins. vas yesterday found guilty and sentenced
| to six ana ne.halt years in the penitentlary
Eighteen OF the Spanish gunboats, will, says
a New York dispatch, sail from that port to-
| day.
The last dispatch from Texas makes Genera
| Davis's maiority 10 one hundred counties ,l5f
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-12-15
tiaJLRQAp LINES.
ALEXANDRIA AND
w GEORGETOWN B. 4

@AHM - -. 80
NEW TIME TABLE, NIGHT TRAIN FOR
RICHMOND.
SENGkR TnAINS CHANGED.
DAY TRAIN FOR LYNCHBUKu
On and after THURS DAY, Nov. 25th, 1865.
end until further notice, through sad locs.
passenger trains will run between Ws'hiustor
aud Alexandria, follow
Through Day Trains, sundays inr'Gded
Leave Washing:oa, :.-;- Aard bound, May
lard Avenue Depot At L. ~ Il. IN. Leave AleA-
andria, Northws-d oouni, corner Duke AMI
Henry streets i. p. m .,
Through Night Z - sunday excepted
Leave Washington. .,outhward bound, Mary
land Avenue Depot. at $50 p m. Leave AieA
andria, Northw ARD bound corner pHh' Al"
Henry streets 8. $50 q. N.
Evening spec 81 trains will be run r betty
Washir gton AID Alexandra On Tuesday,
Thursdays and saturdays ~ pillows
Leave Alexandria, Northward hound. cofhe'
st. Asaph ami King streets, at Z 10 p. IN: LesV :
Washington, Southwark bound, Maryland a'-
enue Depot at ll:25 .. III.
LOCAL PASSENGER TRAINS between Washi"X-
ton and Alexandria Sundays excepted
Leave Washington. Maryland avenue Depot.
ct 9 and II q ~, and ,. 4.C0 and (Sundsys ~
cluded NJ 40 p. IN.
Leaye Alexsndria corner 81. Asaph SID
king streets at 8 and 10 a. m ,gnd and :. N ,
and corner Duke and Henry st... y. 440 =. III.
ROUND TRIP TICKETo-Parties purchas
ing round trip tcke!s for evening special trains
and no, returning same evening. can make Use
of such tickets in payment OF fare on any loca
train on following day.
FARE-For evening special train fifty cents,
for round trip. TickeIs for same to be obtained
only at Alexsndris ticket office on Tuesdays
Thursdays and Saturdays. after departure ot3 p
D. m local day train
No other tickets recognized on evening spe
cial train. o. A. STEVENS, Gen. Supt.
w. J. PHELPS, Gen. Manager nov 2'-t
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-12-15
ALEXANDRIA. VA.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER Is 1859.

The Washington Star, in relation to pro
posed aid to the railroads to tie seat of gov
ernmeat, says it wants ''the engine houses, re-
pair shops, depo.s, &C., in Washington, and
full security OF On authoritative voice iii the
management of the roads, to ensure that they
are not run adversely toWashinRton interests. "
There was another meeting OF the Railroad
Association in Washington last night. where
after much discussion it was proposed to refer
to a committee an inquiry into the relative adj
vantages of the lines of railway leading to
washington. The meeting adjourned without
action.