The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1869-07-28
How He Came To Be Married.

1t may be funny. But Pvc done it.
I've got rib and Il baby. Shadows
cpartcd-oystcr stews, brandy cock
tails, cigar boxes, boot:jacks, abscond-
ing shirt buttons, whist and demijohn
Shadows present hoop skirts, band
boxes, ribbons, gartcrs long stockings,
juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, little
tcats, parcgoric, hive syrup, rhubarb,
SIENNA, salts, squills, and doctors's bill.
I'll just tell how got caught. | was-
always the darndest, most tea. custard,
bashfIl t.llow you ever did see il
was kinder i'll my line to be taken with
the shakes every time [ saw 4 pretty
gal approaching me, and I'd cross the
street any time rather than face;
tyasn't because / didn't like the crit
tcrs, for if | WAS behind the fence look
ing throug knot-hole, / could not
look long enough. We'll, my sister
Lib gave Il party one night, and ]
started away from home because was
too bashful to face the music. | hung
around the house whistling ''Old Dan
Tucker" dancing to keep my feet
warm, Watching the heads bobbmg up
and doYn behind the window curtains.
and wishing the laundering party
would break up, so | could get to my
room. | smoked up Il bunch of cigars,
and it was getting late and might un
comfortable, | concluded to shin up
the door post. No sooner said than
done, ,and L soon found myself snug i'll
bed. -.t
"Now," says J, '.lct her rip! Dance
till your wind gives out" And cud-
ding down under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me. ........
| was dreaming of soft-shcll crabs
and stewcd tripe, and having Il good
time when somebody knocked at the
door and woke me up. crap" again
[ laid low. Rap, rap, rap :" Then
heard whispering, and [ knew there
was a whole raft of gals outside.
Then Lib sings out /:
"Jack, are you there 2 .r.
"Yes," says l.
Then came n roar of laughter.
'Lct us III" said she
II won't said L. "Can't you let Il
fellow alone :"
care you abcd p says she.
81 am" says /. ......
SECT out" says she. .
81 WON'T" says /.
Then came another laugh.
BY thunder 1 began to get riled.
''Get out, you petticoated scare
crows p cried /. Cant you get q
beau without hauling fellow out Of
bed? L won't go home with you-l
won't, SO you may clear out?
And throwing boot at the door, |
felt better. But presently | heard a
still, small voice, very much like sister
Lib's, and it said:
"Jack, you'll have to get up, for all
the girls things are there"
Oh, mercy! what q pickle! Think
of me, in bed, all covered with mutt$,
shawls, bonnets and cloaks, and TWEEN
ty girls outside the door. waiting to
get in If had stopped to think l
should have pancaked on the spot.
As it was l rolled ont among the bon
net ware ribbons in Il hurry. Smash
went the millinery in every direction.
1 had TO dress in the dark-for there
was crack i'll the door, and the girls
will peep-and the way | fumbled
about was death OH straw hats. The
critical moment came. | opened the
door and found myself right among
the women.
'Oh, my leghornl'' cried one. "My
dear, darling winter velvet !" cried an
ootne-, and they pitched in-they pull
ed me this way and that, boxed my
ears, and one bright-eyed little piece
Sal, her name was-put her arms
round my neck, and kissed me right
on my lips. Human nature could
not stand that, and l gave her as good
as she sent. 1t was the first time l
ever got the taste, and it WAS powerful
good. ] believe / coull have kissed