The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-11-24
GIRLS handled TOO MUCH.
Tho Freedom Of Modern social III.

termed intimate etiquette. This is touched
by such inquiries as we see in the correspond
cnts' column of ladies' papers, where Lucia
wants to know if she ought to allow gentle
man to kiss her when she comes home with |
him from q concert, and Caroline is dubious
whether she ought to correspond with her
friends betrothed in secret One can't but |
sympathize with the young ladies' knowing |
how Internationally some one has neglected |
duty towards them. Mothers and |
guardians seem often to fancy that know |
ledge how to conduct oneself in the delicate |
diemmas of life comes by instinct. Girls |
leave boarding school and go into |
society with the vaguest of notions about |
their relations to it, and stumble through its |
small difficulties, hiding their embarrassments |
as best they can, keeping brave front to the |
last, while the world never guesses the secret
tortures they undergo in trihing matters
Often enough, for mere restless craving for
novel condolences, young ladies seek public in
stead of private advice, when their mothers or
friends are ready and competent to give them
all the help they need. But there is a great
deal of trial that besets young girls at the age
when they feel allures most keenly, which the
best parents forget to provide against They
ought to recall their own debates of etiquette
in youth, and teach their children prudence
before they need it. Forewarned forearmed
'SNellie, see here, says prudent father to
his girl of sixteen, in her tarletan ball-dress,
warming her slippers before the fire, waiting
her escort--if girls ever do any of the wait
ing 'sYou're looking sYeetly fresh tonight,
and as fresh in heart as in dress, hope You
! are to stay SO, do you hear nddahem. You're
not to let people hold you close when you
waltz; nobody has any business to touch you
till you have lover or husband of your own.
1 don't want my girl talked about. Remem-
ber, nobody has the least right on any pre-
tence to do more than touch your fingers or
Iox,1 f1n, tol
Of the waltz unless he is your relative, or
going to be-"
And after that she would probably sit in
the conservatory, letting handsome Jack, the
fast flat and lady-killer, slip his arm by de-
grees from the back of her chair, lift her
loeket from her bare neck, and kiss her hand,
It'll he dared kiss her lips, and gather her close
TO him, which would probably be the sixth
ne they met, at farthest. You see men and
women like such things.
1t right they should I'm not going to
believe the blood that beats in this wrist one
instant to say they should not. Only one
may have some choice as to whether one will
accept caresses from the wholesale stock of
natural liking, or the special reserved fund
z Of precious performance Suppose, young,
warm-hearted girl, that as you lean on that
broad shoulder in the half-ht parlor tonight
thinking how nice it is to have somebody
fond and protecting, and how dear you seem
to be to him, suppose you should, by some in
visible magnetic sense, be made aware of all
the cheeks that had rested on that shoulder,
and all the forms that arm encircled. It's
fortunate you don't know these things. 1t
might lead you, however, to keep yourself
more sacred for some one who will love you
as entirely as you love this man, who stakes
life as it comes, and by force of habit if not
by inclination, could not remember one
woman six months if his happiness depended
on it.
Did you ever see the old-fashioned book on
etiquette called "The Young Lady's Friend?"
Good Mrs. Farras will never guess the bene-
fit that straightforward, wholesome book of
advice has been to girls. She knew the class
she was writing for, and gave her opinion in
such frank words as these l quote from
memory:-''You are to allow no personal free
doms from gentlemen of your acquaintance.
IF finger is put out to examine locket or
chain on your dress, draw back and take it off
for inspection if you choose. The reason for
this rule is clear to those who are better ac-
quainted with the world"
The reason is perfectly clear to every one
who comes to twenty-five years of age out
side reform institution. man of society,
who dealt in occasional roughness of speech,
said once in parlor before ladies that he
would never marry a then New York girl of
fashion, for the class allowed themselves to
be handled too much. A girl who protects
in society, increases her own value, If she
81 only knew it, with those she may have to re-
pulse. I don't believe in prudishness or sus-
picion, but do believe that when men and
women are not content with the friendship
that can be expressed by frank, kind eyes,
and cordial, brief hand-shakes, and clear
words one is not ashamed that the world
should hear, they should know what intoxi
cation they are sharing. 1t strikes one
N curiously to see the ladies forget theil
hands in mans clasp, while they are talking
q so earnestly; there is great deal of expires
sion in the nearness of two conversationalisti
y often which tells little more than people ar
s. aware Of It's all right and innocent, of course
but if people are properly Indifferent to eacl
others hands, why not observe cOncen0nceS
and drop them when the cordial salute is per
u formed? You never see Rev. Mr.. Surphc
hold.any hand in his but that Of Mr.. Rocket
the curate with the melancholy black eyes
and you never see grave legal gentleme
/ crushing the founces of equally grave an,
Interesting spinsters. There is fine, distinc
line between the cordial commerce of goo
will and Heaven-warm affection, that bind
the human family together, and these leat
jngs of attraction that with nameless licens
destroy the bloom of refinement
4 There is one rule that settles a thousan
queries of the nature we are considering
Whatever is secret may be safely untouched
The touch, the look, the intimacy, the CORES
pondence that needs to be secret, has some
thing wrong about it. If you are sure theI
is no evil in your motives, for Heavens SAX
4 come out and avow your friendship, your d.