Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-04-01
From the Jefcrsonian,
Joining the Free Masons.
by 4 BLAoK.BALLED CANDIDATE.

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That Masonry is Of very aneien
date is proved by the fact that dur
| ing the wet season Noah used tC
hold lodge meetings in the corner
Of the Ark. lie was obliged tc
give up, however, owing to the Gu
riosity of Mrs. Noah, who, not
withstanding the fact that her hus-
band placed a couple of lions and
crocodile a at the door as outside
guard, came pretty near finding out
the secret and starting a female
lodge on ber own hook.
I must tell you Of the perils and
TRIALS ! had to undergo to become
! a Mason. On the evening in ques-
tion l presented myself at the door
of the Lodge-room. No. 66,666
sign of the skull and cross bones.
l was conducted into the ante-room
where five or six melancholy chaps
in sashes and embroidered napkins
were waiting to receive me. On
my entrance they all got up and
turned somersaults and then re
turned to their seats, A big fat
fellow, who sat in the middle, and
who seemed to be proprietor, then
said, Sinner from the outer world,
advance" I advanced. "Will you
give up everything to join us p
mot if know it," l said, there's
my wife and fourteen fine -"
Another party told me to say "yes,"
as it was merely a matter of form,
so l said eyes, l give up every
thing" The fellows in the towels
then said, "Tis well. Do you
swear nevor to reveal anything you
may see or hear this evening to any
human being or to your wife p
"Pon my word l will not" d" They
all groaned again; and said, "Tis
we'll" They then examened my
teeth, and felt my muscle and then
they groaned again. l said, "If
you don't feel well, I've got a little
bottle here that" The fat man
here took the bottle from Inc and
told me to shut up. He then in a
voice of ofthunder SAID, Bring forth
the goat" Another fellow came
up with a big cloth to blindfold me.
"No you don't, Mr.. Mason," /
said "no tricks on travellers, if
YOU please; l don't believe in play
ing blindman's buff with goat
Stand back or I'll knock you into
smithereens. They were too
much for me, however; 50 l had
to submit and be blindfolded, The
goat was led in, and | could hear
Tim making an awfnl racket among
the furniture. l Began to feel that
| was in for it and couldn't help
myself. Three or four then pitch
ed me on the animals back, telling
me at the time to look out for
squalls. / have been in a good
many scrapes-Tve been in an
election fight--I'ye been pitched
out of a four story window-Ive
gone down in a railroad collision,
and up in a steamboat explosion,
but this goat excursion was ahead
of them all. The confounded
thing must have been all wings and
horns. 1t bumped me against the
table and chairs and stove and cell
ing, but l hung on like Trojan.
| turned front somersaults, and
back somersaults, and rolled over
and over l was just on the point of
giving up, @hen the bandage fell
from my eyes, and the goat bound
ed from under me and disappeared
a window with a yell like
a Comanche Indian giving up the
ghost. l was in a lodge Of Ma
sons. They did not observe for
that could see, so had
a good chance to watch the per
formances. They were performing
their Mys tic rites with a vengeance.
They were dancing a mystic war
dance ground big skull, and play
ing at leap frog, and the big fat fel-
low of tie ante.room was standing
on his head in a corner finishing
the contents of my little bottle
Order was soon restored, and was
led up to.a desk and told to be at
ease. The chief Engineer of tie
then put his thumb
to his nose, and stretching out his
fingers in the shape of a fan to-
wards me, commanded silence; ; the
rest of the brothers did likewise
and we're silent. The governor
then addressed me Brother
Knob, you are now one of US, you
are a member of an institution
which has lasted ten million of
years. From this forward your
constitution is sound, you are wa
ter proof, even fire proof, with i'm
punity you may walk through the
lake or sit down on a red hot stove.
You are free from rheumatism,
dyspepsia, w5ooping cough and the
measles. The Sheriff dare not seize
you for debt, nor policeman ar
rest you for a misdemeanor, you
are safe. Here is the password
with that and a big club you can
get into any lodge in Christen-
dom"