The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-07-02
aIrif an& 0uutur .


- What is better than q promising
young man9 Apaying one.
-W Why do 'birds in their little
nest agree 2" Because they'd fall out
if they didn't.
-"Boy what's that hungry dog
following me for?" Insulting boy
"He thinks you are bone, 1 reckon"
A young NJ. d. having asked
permission of n girl to kiss her, she re-
piled, "No thank you; l never like a
Doctors bill stuck in my face"
"A new dictionary defines hash
as boarding house confidence game
and quac6, as a doctor whose science
lays in his bill.
- A man Zone Of the new appoin-
tees) called on lawyer TO be qualified
Tor some petty office. The lawyer said
TO nm, "Hold up your hand, I'll swear
you, out all creation couldn't quality you.''
-"This world is all a fleeting
show" said a sheriff to a culprit on the
gallows-"Yes," was the prompt re-
ply; shut if you have no objection, I'd
rather see the show LITTLE longer"
-Snooks wonders where all the
pillow cases go to. He says he never
asked woman what she was making
While engaged on PLAIN sewing without
being told it was a pillow-casel
TT have lost my Appetite" said
a gigantic irish gentleman and an en-
lnent performer on the trencher. to
Mark Supple, II hope" said Supple,
mo poor man has found it, for it would
ruin him in week."
An old sea captain used to say
That he didn't care how he dressed
Wnen abroad, "because nobody knew
him." And he dIdn'5 care how he
dressed when at home, ssbecause every
body knew him."
-"Why don't yonr father take q
newspaper J" said gentleman to lit
Tie boy whom he caught pilfering his
paper from the door-stept. "Kos, he
sends me to take it," answered the ur-
chin.
- An attorney about to furnish a
Dlii OF costs was requested by client,
oaker, to make it as light as he could.
M" replied the attorney, ssthat's
wnat you may say to your foreman,
Dut It's not the way make my bread u
In some debating societies they
discuss strlnge questions. The last
was "What is the difference be-
tween the Bridge of Signs and the size
or bridge?" The next is 20 be ;
"Ihe difference between a fac-simile
ard sick family"
"A Quaker, chasing his broad
brim, which the wind had taken, saw a
boy laughing at his dilemma and in
CURED, Art thou a profane lad? The
LAD repled that he did little that way.
Ihen, said he handing him quarter
thee may dam thai hat the moneys
worth.
- AT debating club the question
was dicussed, Whether there is more
happiness in the possession or pursuit
of an object? "Mr. President" said
an orator, suppose l was courtin' a
gal and she run away, and was to ruu
after her; wouldn't be happier when
cotch't her than L was running aftel
her ?"
"A lot'of MINISTRIES of city start.
ed out on slower" recently. They
WENT to town not far away and adj
vertised to give Performance for "the
beLefit of the poor, tickets reduced tt
70 cents" The hall was crammed full
The next morning committee for the
poor called on the treasurer of the con.
cert tor The amount said benefit haC
netted. The treasurer expressed as.
constituent at the demand. Il thought,
said the chairman of the committee
.'you advertised this concert for the
benefit OF the poor !" Replied the
treasurer, "Didn't we put the tickets
down to rs cents, so that the pool
could all come ?" The committee van.
ished.
An old negro, named Pete, wa!
very much troubled about his sins
Perceiying him one day with a very
loWncast look, his master asked hin
the cause.
20 massa Pm SIGH a great sinner =
"But, Pete" said his master, "yol
are foolish to take it so much to heart
You never see me troubled about M
SINS"
II know de reason, NASSAU sale
Pete; "when you go out duck-shootine
and kill one duck and wound another
don't you run after de wounded duck p
Eyes, Pete,', and the master wond
er ed what was coming next.
"Well, massa, dat is de way wild vol
and me; de debbil has got you sure
but as he am not sure of me he chase
dis chile all dc time.''