The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-03-06

handles. And now the organist has all the
rows OF keys. coupled, pedals aud all, aud all
the stop handles pulled out, reed stops, fancy
stops. tremulant, bellows alarm. and all. He Is
getting the worth of their moEey out of 1t for
then. II is blast storm. a raging tempest.
The committeeman down stairs, who got all
this noise tor their money, look up ap-
pIoviDgly, satisfied that no better invest
mept could have been made. The man
at the bellows thinks 1t Is poor
fun, and wipng as he gets a chance, the stream
ing preparation from his tbrobbpg temples,
wishes the committee mep, who "blown so about
their organ, would do the blowing in a more
practical way, by taking hand at the bellows
handle. But little do the Fuffs and Uppercrust'
Bassoon, and the rest of the musical company
care for the poor fellow at the bellows. Frantic
with desperate efforts to drown each other, each,
in turn, indulge in a few closing screams,
groans, and grows. seraphina calculates some
vitrollc tones which sound something like 30
Lord !" which are taken up in turn by each Of
the other performers. The hearers in the
pews are gratfed to catch something that
sounds like scriptural truth but are bewildered
IN their further attempts to discover the con-
text, and give it up as hopeless job.
up his strength, and with turgid veins
and countenauce streaming with perspi-
ration heaves up 30 Lordl" The Fufs take
up the strain and renew the domestic contest
with despairing valcr. The sharped.voiced
Serapbna Angelica launches her contribution
on the air like so much commercial vinegar a
basis of nitric acid diluted to paatab!e degree
of saftty. FugaciouslY they toss the ejacua-
fiOO bapk at paph nibar iod xu,th
few choice words, apparently from some part
Of the Old Testament in the original
tongue. Then all the chorus singers join
in the general burst of the fnality
of the voluntary" Pressing into the service all
their remaining strength, they all scream out
at the highest height and the lowest depth of
their respective voices the ejaculation already
alluded to. 1t is enough-eAactly enough and
there is no more. The music expires. Upper
crOst, Bassoon, the Fufs and the chorus sub
side into their seats, violently fan themselves,
and wipe the flowing perspiration and pomatum
from their agitated brows. The organist con-
scious of having done great things whereof he
is glad, turns round in his seat to face the
wondering believers who, with twisted necks,
gaze upwards from the pews. The bellows
blower, safe in his retreat IN the cozy nook
ugly mouths at the whole concern: at the com
mittee for buying so ponderous an instrument;
at the chorus choir, for making such
an unintelligible racket with their
| singing; at the organist for pulling out all
its stop-handles; and at the congregation for
patiently listening to it. And the gentlemen in
the pulpit, what part are they taking in the
musiculous entertainment?
The pastor leans over to his guest the preacher
for the day, who has been earnestly listening
and vainly striving to find out if anything was
| being sung which was in anywise con-
nected with the subject OF his coming discourse,
and asks wasn't that beautifully rendered?''
The preacher for the day makes answer, 81
couldn't understand it." "What was it?n To
which the pastor replies, II don't knoU!" Is
this fair illustration of the noise and bluster
usually made by many Bassoons and Fuffs who
mistake their calling, and leave the unhallowe
lager and other concert saloons to lead and
| direct "Church Choirs?" We think it is. Wha,
say the public? How long will the Christian
congregations submit 10 such nonsense, to use
no harsher term?