Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-01-19
Stamps.


Stamps.
Does hen ever lay her plans?
Lady bathers are diving bellies.
A bad omen-To owe men money.
A time serving Observation-Disclosures.
A broad grin is seldom seen on long face.
The ghost Of turkey-When he's goblin.
Does plaster placed upon the shin become
shinplaster?
A curious anomaly-that man with no un-
Giles may have tenants.
Vermont may have very witty man in SAKE,
but Massachusetts, has Whittier
When birds wing is broken by fowler,
can it be said to have a defective flew?
Whom did Robson Crusoe meet on the des-
ert Island A great SWELL and little cove
running inland.
names is very poor, always refers to her seam
stress as ''Miss So and SO.
SIS this your house and home p asked a
peddler of a farmer as he saw him boarding u
pig-sty. "No, am only boarding here, re-
piled the farmer.
Employment certainly produces cheerful
ness, says Bishop Hall. Il have known
man come home in high spirits from funeral
because he had the management Of it.
Remember who you are talking to, sirp'
said an indignant parent to fractions boy ST
am your father, sir - swell, who's to blame
for that p said young impertinence; faint
me
Biddy came back from notwithstanding, and
was asked if she found the berries plenty
"Sure. yes, said she, ''but the dry weather
has made them so small that it takes quart
to make half a pint. y
While an old farmer in Connecticut was fog
glng one OF his gracelesS sons, pumpkin head
ed fellow about eighteen, an idea all of sud-
den entered the head Of young Jonathan, and
he sung out, stop dad-let's argue"
An absent minded gentleman intending to
scratch his head in church, reached over and
performed the operation for an old maid In the
next pew. He discovered his mistake when he
found himself defendant in an action for a
breach of promise
Pretty girl to Ed-"Ed, how far is it around
the world? Isn't it twenty-four thousand
Ed, (who adores pretty girls puts both arms
around her); That's all mistake, my love,
it is only about twenty -four inches. You are
all the world to me. - rs.s So
A gentleman being asked by clergyman
why he did not attend the evening prayer meet
ing, said he could not leave the children
w hat have you no servants?' Eyes, he
replied, we have two servants who keep the
house and board US, but We are allowed few
privileges. -
A dandy, strutting about a tavern. took M
a pair Of green spectacles which lay on the ia
Bile, put them on his nose, and turning to the
looking glass, said Landlord, how do these
become me?' Don t you think they improve
my looks ?''
Il think they do replied the landlord,
they hide part of your face
+, A lovely boy OF three years, whose father had
bought house requiring some additional furni-
ture, being brought into it when all the filings
had been completed and the rest of the family
were there, remarked
Why, mamma, you have got some new car
pets, eh?' va
Then, after further examination of the fur
niture-
Aud you've got some nice new chairs, too
ain you, mamma ?'
"S PaO0u at tile ed-tdOle soon AFTER and
told to keep still while his father asked bles>
sing, he exclaimed, as soon as it was finished
why that is the same old blessing ma y
---e--
a correspondent asks Shakespearean stu~
dents the following questions: -
Whether the weak invention of the enemy"
was patented, and required seven days to com.
plete it?
Did grim visaged war smooth ''his wrinkled
'front.' with fiat iron? -
Would the 'bondsman's key that Shylock
proposed to use open the ''gory locks that
Banquo shook at Macbeth
Was Hamlet thinking of his mother.in law
when ne spoke of avisage like Mars to threat
en- and command ?"
Did Richard apostrophize the tWinter of
our discomfort" because he thought of going
on shaving excursion among his relations?
Alter the ghost had told Hamlet he was his
father spirit and requested him to mark
him, would he have been justified in putting
5. L. 1S60-X' upon his back?
When the witches wished Macbeth all hall
was 1t because they thought he would have a
stormy reign?
Was it not something of waist when Puck
put glrdle round about the earth in forty
minutes Z?
A GOOD LIE. Anybody can tell lie but #
requires practlsed hand to tell ''ie with cir
cumstance. For something like four hundred
yearS-much longer. for aught we know-there
mas been story floating about the world to the
effect that IN certain northern regions the words
one speaks are frozen as soon as thew are utter-
cd, and have to be thawed before thew can he
heard. Castilian tells the story as story
Heylln repeats it. Rabelais adds that The
words when frozen fall about like hail, and are
taken up carefully in the order in which thew
lall' ana placed In frying pan to talk. An.
other writer says, that some of them break on
being picked up, and perish without utteranc 40
1t required the master hand of Sir John Mand.
eVlle to complete the thing Hearsav was far
too tame for him. He saw the nbenomenon
he says, and gives you the name of the shin ba
was on board OF at the time, and the exact lat
itude and longitude in which the Occurrences tool
place. Growing even more minute he tells yo,,
that certain of the words fell overheard and
were no more heard OF, and that the little fro.
zen fakes, when much talk was going on. were
q, great annoyance to the common Seamen in
th9lr work His browning triumph. however
occurs When the thaw comes A rude fellow. a
boatsWaln,. he thinks-having swallowed the
Gamer, ne Is very particular about the gnat. il
VIII be observed-had, duing the continuance
OF the frost, cursed the captain in f;t oe ,aS
sion; but as soon as the words began to tbbaw
MS SIN found him cut, and he was suddenly
beaten for his disorderly behavior. Munchau,
sens version of the story is uninventiye com
pared with this.