Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1869-09-24

! j never konsidcred il healtly
| Hornets bid their nests wherever they take
a noshun to, and seldom are disturbed, for
what would it pro6t man tew kin 90
hornets and heE the one h6ndredth one hit
him with hiz iavelin2
They bid their nests ov paper, without
emmy windows to them or back doors They
hay but one place qV admission, aud the
nest IL the shape oy an oyergrown pine
apple, and IL cut np into just az menny
bedrooms az their IL hornets.
1t IL very simple tew make hornets nest
| il yu kan, but viii wager emmy man 800
dollars he kant bid one that be could sell
teR horaet for half price
Hornets are. az bizzy as their second eouz-
zins, the bee, but what they are about the
Lord only knows; they don't lay up emmy
honey, nor enny money: they seem to be
| Dizzy only list for the sake ov working all
the time; they are alwus in az mutch ov
hurry az tho they waz going for a doktor.
L suppose this uneazy world would grind
arouWnd on its axie-tree onst in "A hours,
even eff thate want emmy hornets, but hor-
nets must be good for sumthiug, but kant
think now what it IT,
Tbare haipt been bug made yet in vain,
nor one that want good job, thare IL ever
lots ov human men loafng around black
smith shops, and cider mills, all over the
country, that don't seem to be necessary for i
ennythiug bat to beg plug tobacco aud
swear, and steal watermelons, but yu let
the cholara break out once, aud then yu
will see the wisdom Of having list sich men
laying around; they help count.
Next tew the cockroaeh, who stands tew
the head, the hornet haz got the most waste
stummuek, IN reference tew the rest ov hiz
boldly, than emmy ov the insek populashun,
and here IL another mistery; what on arih
duz hornet want so muteh reserved corps
for?
l hav iitt thought-tew carry hiz javelin
in, thus yu see, the more we diskoyer about
things the more we are apt 20 know.
1t IL always good purchase tew pay cut
our last surviving dollar for wisdnm, and
wisdum IL like the MYSTERIOUS hens egg, It
amt laid in yure hand, but IL laid away
under the barn, and yu hav got tew sarch
for it.
The hornet IL an unsoshall kuss, he IL
more naughty than he is proud, he is
thorough bred bug, but his breeding and
refinement has made him like sum other
folks kno ov, dissatisfied with himself,
and every boldly else, too much good breed
ing ackts this way sometimes.
Hornets are long -lived-T kant state jist
how long their lives are, but / know from
instinkt aud obseryashun, that emmy krit-
ter, be he bug or be he devil, who IL mad
all the time, and stings every good chance
he kan git, generally outlives all his nabers.
The only good way tew git at the exact
iteinr WEIGHT or the hornet is tew tnteh
him, let him bit you once with his javelin,
and you viii be willing tew testify in court
that sumbody run one-tined pitchfork
Into yer; and for grit, viii state for the
informashnn ov thoze who havn't had
chance tew lay in their vermin wisdum az
freely az hav, that one single hornet, who
feels well, viii brake up large camp meet
ing.
What the hornets do for amuzementi is an
other question kant answer, but sum ov
the best read, aud heavyest thinkers amung
the naturalists say they hav target exeur.
sions, and heave their iavelins at a mark,
but don imbibe this assershun raw, for
never knu emmy body, SO bitter at heart, az
the hornets are, to waste blow.
Thare IL one thing that hornet duz that
i will Civ him credit for on mi books-he
alwuz attends tew hiz own Dizziness, and
wont allow any boldly else tew attend tew
it, and what he duz IL alwaz a good job,
you never see them altering emmy thing, if
they make emmy mistakes, it IL after dark,
and amt seen.
II the hornets made haiI az mrnuy blum
ders az the men do, even with their iavo-
Inns, everybody would laif at them.
Hornets are clear in another way, they
hav found out, bi trieing it, that all they
kan git in this world, and brag on, IL their
vittles and clothes, and yu never see one,
standing at the corner ov a street, with
twenty-six inch face on, bekause sum bank
had run oph, and took their money with
him.
Ia ending oph this essa, | will cum tew
stop, by concluding that if hornets was
little more pensive, and not so darned
peremptory with their javelines, they might
be guilty of less wisdum, but more charity.
But yu kant alter bug uatur, without
splicing it for anything else, emmy more
than yoa kan an elephants egg.--Nelo
YorE Wc,E3u