Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-06-04
MALE FASHIONS.
Fanny Fern has Her Say About Them

The female fashions of to day are alb
surd enough; but if anything more alb
surd than mans "stove pipe hat was
ever invented, l would like to see it,
Mark its victims when they remove it
from their heads-which they seldom do.
The girls know why, unless they are 90
ing into bed. See the red rim across their
foreheads, produced by its unwieldy
weight See them occasionally in the
street, giving it cock backwards, when
nobody but apple-women are looking to
observe how quickly gentlemen by that
action may be made into rowdy. Then
see them apply their handkerchiefs to
their foreheads, to cool off the heat and
worthy Of one of Fox's martyrs, replace
it, and bear the long agony until they get
home. Then what garment that a wo-
man ever wore is more ridiculous than
mans shirt, whether buttouing before or
buttoning behind. or disfguring with
puerile "studs;" whether the stiff collar
stands up like picket on guard, or lays
over. with a necktie to tie it suffocating-
ly over the juguar vein. Then mark
that abomination-a swallow tail coat. -
Heavens! how ugly the handsomest may
look in it! And woe for the plain men,
who intensity their plainness with it,
Then see the knock kneed and the crook
ed legged advertise their deformity ia
tight pantaloons; and short, fat barrel men
wearing little boys cloth caps on their
heads. All, for every female goose that
fashion makes, | will find you male mate,
even to the wearing of tight corsets. But,
my friend, on one point there's differ
ence. When fashionable lady engages
a female servant she stipulates that she
shall wear cap on her head and calico
on her back, to mark the difference be-
tween herself and that without
which, suppose, it would not often be
recognizable. When her husband gives
a dinner the male walters are dressed
exactly like himself-in festal white
neckties, white gloves aud hideous swal.
low tailed coats. How is this? 1t must
be that the male creature is very secure
in his position socially, mentally, moral
ly and physically to permit such pre-
sumption-nay, to demand it. Can any
philosopher explain to me this mysteryi
l was ''struck 'midships" with the idea
at a festal gathering not long since; and,
turning to my male guide, philosopher
and friend. asked what it meant. His
irritating answer to this most proper and
natural question was: "Fanny, don't be
silly" l reiterated my remark, that
mems dress is to the full as absurd in its
way as woman's, and / am only recon-
cled 10 the idea that man was intend
ed for human being, when see an
athlete Of gymnast, of glorious chest
and calves and splendid muscular arms.
skimming the air as gracefully as bird.
and as POLITICALLY, then l know how civil
ization has ruined him. ] know that
man, if he jumped and ran and wrestled
and walked, instead of stupidity sitting
in chair in the house, or creeping into
an omnibus when out of it, and smoking
and going to sleep in the intervals, would
not be obliged to creep into these ugly
tailor's padded fashions to hide his def
ceneies; but could wear what he choose,
knowing that the beautiful outlines of bis
form would glorify any decent vestment.
walked several blocks out of my way,
behind man, the other day, who posi-
lively s'stepped off," What a chest he
had What splendid poise of the head
What free, jubilant swing of the arm!
| hope that man will come to New York
again some day; for / am sure he was
stranger to it, for he neither stopped
anywhere to take drink, buy cigar,
nor did he hail an omnibus. Magnifi-
cent giantl wonder what was his name,
and had he mother. If not--well, it
were pity he shouldn't have.
FANNY FERN.