Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1869-06-17


series of Letters to Farmers Daughters,
written by a lady for the Culiivator and Coun'
try Gentleman -
Ny Dear Guls-ln touching upon the
theme of marriage would DO it itrevercntly, as
it is no trifIing subject. Nothing is more re-
voting than the manner in which some are
given to speak of this contemplated relation,
accompanied with mods, winhs and sly inuen-
does. You, my dear girls, are contemplating
this relation as possible or settled matter, and
if | could induce any of You to look more
earnestly and reverently upon this life union,
before you take the step which is to baptize
YOU with blessing and Joy, or wiring your heart
with anguish, should indeed be happy. The
Young are apt to regard marriage as the ante
chamber of heaven. That it is designed to
increase the good and happiness of our race is
indeed true, but it takes us by the hand and
leads us into the great temple of Life, where
duties stand ministering around the solemn
altar, and the baptism of love is followed by
the quick discipline of trial
Several important facts connected WITH ana
duties obligatory upon, married life should be
thoroughly canvassed and pondered by all.
Children should not marry. 4 young wo-
man cannot be considered in any sense prepared
for this union under twenty-one twenty-five
is better. She is not physically or mentally
developed before this. Solemn duties, cares
and responsibilities await her, to meet which
she needs large physical developement, mature
Judgment. good calculation, domestic training,
knowledge of men and things. Girls OF SIX
teen and eighteen cannot have these. They
cannot tell what they really like or dislike
who and what will meet their necesslties-un-
til matured themselves.
In that mysterious relation where soul meets
face to face with another soul; where propen-
sites. tastes, aspirations, powers and wills meet
and press against each other, what need Tor
adaptation, intimate and vitalunion! Else what
chafing, discord, suffering Young women
should not be so impressed with the duty, prl-
viIege and eclat Of marriage as to rush into the
relation, without due thought, time and ac-
ouaiutance. You cannot overestimate the I'M
portancc of thorough knowledge Of the man
whom YOU design to marry. Uprgbtness,
fixedncss of principle, and unseliish and gen.
erous disposition and good business abilities
should be regarded as indispensable. If a
youug man is good son and brother, he will
make kind husband, provided you do your
part.
Do not be won by tri1es A handsome face,
fine figure and noble bearing, may be desired,
but they constitute small part Of what you
really need They may be but The gilt which
hides some terrible deformity. and which, by
and-by, will cause you emotions OF disgust,
terrible grief or constant unrest. 1t is not
wise TO aspire far above your present station
in life. as this would give rise to solicitude lest
Won should fail to adapt yourself to your
changed circumstances.
Marriage should not be entered upon with
ont a knowledge of its physiological laws; else
much domestic misery may be expected
Neither should it be sought for worldly gam
or position. True esteem and affection, united
TO adaption and congeniality Of tastes, should
form its basis. When this does not exist before
marriage, it is hopeless to expect it aiterward
You must look ont for breakers ahead, and
feed the fame Of love with pure oil. You will
need fully as much tact, skill and patience tC
manage another heart as your own. II yor
cannot think alike, be resolved to yield, rather
than differ. Avoid alteration and recrimina'
ton. BE forbearing and forgiving, if need DC
would also suggest that those graces and
charms which won lovers heart be still kept
! for n husband. Never consider it too mncf
trouble to dress tastefully aud in your best, fol
YOUR husbands eye. Give him freely of those
graceful attentions and pleasant surprises which
will make him happy, if you expect contlnu'
ancc of lover-like attentions from him. Hide
all the disagreeabcs, in person, toilet, and
home, and keep the best for love.
Such course would be likely to make
GOOD man Of a bad one-at all events if any
thing would.
Ny dear girls, in closing this series of letters
am conscious Of regretful feelings, TO droI
my pen from such delightful themes, and tc
have failed in using it better. If one OF you
shall feel the stirring Of new and letter emo
tions, stronger resolves aud higher aspirations in
consequence of what has been written which
shall lead to higher at:ainmcnts In the schoo'
of life, it might well extract some OF the BIT
ter from the authors life. Again adieu.-
Your friend, l. D. J"
An Ant Trap.