Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-05-16
wit and Wisdom.

What can you not name without
breaking it Silence.
What roof covers the most noisy
tenant ? The roof of the mouth.
Why are bushes ike little girls ?
Because they become women.
When is a blow from lady wei
Gomez When she strikes you agree
ably.
What is the difference between
barber and mother One has razors
to shave and the other has shagers to
raise.
What is that which is made with
train, that travels with train, is of no
use to train, but train cannot travel
without? A noise.
LITTLE BOY sPRAGUE.
Little boy Sprague, come blow your horn,
The Sena e's 70 and tbs country's Ioriorn,
Rnrnsiae's "A cOWa-d and Abbott's 8 puppy
Blow. Willie, blew en- all M, up, uppy.
The use of bricks as a lining for
wells has teen much disapproved Of, be-
cause they have been found to harden
the softest water bricks are equally in
furious as lining for hats, as they are
found to soften the hardest heads.
"A woman at one of the city dispen-
saries applied for medical aid, stating
her disease to be Irritation of the heart
" Not an uncommon ailment with your
sex, am, said the doctor, with
twinkle of the eye, but it is not dan
gerous if the proper remedy is applied.
sc My son" said an anxious father
once, "what makes you use that nasty
tobacco ?" Now the son was literal
sort of person, and declining to con-
slider the question in the spirit in which
it was asked, replied, "tO get the juice,
old codger. -
Concerning hollering" in meet
ing, Aunt Judy, an old coIored woman,
said to one Of her sisters :" Taint de
rale grace, honey 'taint de sure glory.
You hollers too loud. When you gifts
de love in your heart and de Lamb on
your bosom, you'll feel as eff you was in
dat stable at Beth lhem, and de blessed
virgin had let you hab de sleeping baby
to hold"
Josh Billings was asked, How
fast does sound travel p and his idea is,
it depends good deal upon the noise
you are talking about. " The sound of
a dinner-horn, for instance, travels half
a mile in a second, while an invitashun
to get up in the morning have known
to be quarters of an hour goin up ,
pair uy stairs, and then not hev strength
enough left to be heard
An illiterate negro preacher said to
his congregation" My bredren, when
de fust man Adam was made, he was
made ob wet clay, and set up agin de
palings to dry" Do you say" said
one of the congregation, "dat Adam was
made OBJ wet clay, an set up agin de
palings to dry 2" ''Yes, sar, l do.
Who made de palings?n Sit down,
sar, said the preacher sternly such
questions as dat would upset any system
Of theology"
FROM THE DEAD LETTER 0FFICE-
The other day an Irish woman called al
the Post Office in this city for letter
for herself;
can is there anything here for me p
"What name2"
q Bridget Mccarthy
q Yes, there's letter here for you
from the dead letter Office"
The poor woman's face fell, and she
burst into tears" An sure and |
thought some of them mought been dead
that didn't hear from them before"
The clerk sOothed her with few legal
remarks, explaining the nature of the
Dead Letter Office the woman wiped
away her tears, and went away with one
of her old letters, happy in the thought
that the " folks at home wasn't dead. -
Le1cistoeon { He.) Journal, Apra Sth.
"A certain deacon was one of the
best men, but by nature very irascible
A cow was so exceedingly disorderly, as
the deacon was attempting to milk her
one morning, that the old Adam got the
better of him, and he vented his excited
feelings in a volley of execrations very
undeaconish in their character. At this
moment the good deacons pastor ap-
peared unexpectedly on the scene,. and
announced his presence by saying
q Why, deacon, can it be? Are you
swearing ?' Well, parson," replied
the deacon, 81 didn't think of any one
being near by but the truth is, | never
shall enjoy religion as long as l keeE
this cow"
HoLLER'D BE DY NAME.-During th'
slavery times in Pennsylvania, a rich olt
Quaker in Philadelphia had favorit'
black coachman, who was very religious
and the master permitted him to hOlC
his weekly prayer meetings in the kiteh
en-. One Saturday night, while tht
Spirit vas abroad in all its power, tn
shouting disturbed friend Aminadab
and he called his servant and thus ad
dressed him
| "Sam, does thee not know that th,
Lord is very near to those who truly low
him that he can hear thee when tho
i whisperest, and therefore it is not neces
sary for thee to call upon him so loud
I lyY
i Why, NASSAU said Sam, pears t
me you don read de 'scripters wild n
kind 'tention. Pears to me you du
forgot whar it says, Holler'd be d
name Broadbrim went thoughtful
back to the parlor
MASONIC ANECDoFE.-The other da
young gentleman from the eountr
stepped into store and informed th
proprietor that his occupation was tha
of carpenter, and he desired to get
bosom pin emblematic Of that profession
| The obliging jeweler looked over hi
stock, and finding nothing else, shove
him very fine Masonic pin. The youn
man looked at it carefully.
q Yes" said he, "there's the compas
and square. use both Of them-br
why didn't they put saw in it2 It's fir
, rate as far as it goes, HeIlow ! there
@ there-what does that stand for y