The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-10-15
The E.Ost BOY.

Mr.. EpIToR:-Since / last wrote TO
YOU, startling and thrilling event has
occurred, which has aroused the sympa-
thy and excited the Indignation of our
usually quiet neignborhood, and caused
the hills and valleys to vibrate with
mournful wall for a boy that was lost or
stolen on q fine summer day. But be-
fore proceed farther, allow me to in
form you, that you people of Columbia
are behind the times, and know nothing
of the precocity of Young America of the
present day. In the first place, you
must know that the grown-up young
men of this neighborhood are very bash
full. So much so, that they never at
tempt to wait on the girls; and if by
chance they happen to be where they
(the girls) are, they Will set up and bite
their finger nails, cast sheeps's eyes at
them, and if you will say boo ! they
will run under the bed. Well, the girls
got tired of waiting on and going by
themselves; so just for the fun of the
thing they took to patronizing the afore-
said Young America. The result was,
four or five boys would go with one girl
at a time, without so much as saying,
by your leave But to- my story,
the novel writers say. Well, one of the
youngest of the elder twain, lad that
was weaned, but scarcely in his teens,
who had been allowed to SO with a
young lady, tine fairest of the fair, just
for fun went to talking in real earnest,
and all at once it was noised abroad that
they were engaged. The old folks,
Who live in a wood,
Where an owl at the door for sentinel stood,
got wind of it, and when he came homo
from school bowed out and he think
ing he was too old to mind the calves off,
and consequently ought not to come I'M
der parental government, walks quietly
up stairs, throws his Sunday hat and
boots out at the window, jumps out after
them and leaves for parts unknown.
The old lady, finding out that he was
gone some little while after, end know
ing that he was two young to be out
without his mama knowing it, falls to
screaming and tearing her hair at ter
rible rate; sends for Brother SoUrHALL,
a man famous for bodily strength and
very long prayers, to pray for the prodi-
gals return. Together they wept aud
prayed, ION the hill top and in the valley
low calling TOR FRANKLIN ALEXANDER
in heart-rending tones, but in vain; no
iuyenile voice answered her, and moth
| ing was heard save the echoes from the
distant hills, in mockery TO her fond,
expecting heart.
They found him not that night, nut
very early in the morning, the old lady
gets OH horse, and calling to her neigh
bors for help, goes to the young lady, IN
tending to tear her darling from his be-
loved's embrace. But alas, for maternal
hopes when Cupid is on the wing. The
Young lady told her he was not there,
and advised her like they did Little Bo-
Peep, when she lost her sheep, TO go
back and leave him alone, and bed come
home, bringing his-&c., &C. So back
! she went, and 10 and behold! when she
got home the wandcrer had returned;
Jacob like she fell on his neck and wept,
for not hair of him was hurt, having
slept the night before in a kind neigh
boris barn, who had been very kind to
help him in his troubles. But the worst
of it is, the old gentleman went TO town
and forbid his getting any license, either
in this country or any other. And after
all has been said and done, the young
couple are still in the notion of marry
ing. But having no fortune at their dis
posal, 10 take trip to the moon, Tho
nearest place where they can set license
thew have to wait. And now make al
appeal to all We lovers of welded bliss
to contribute money to the love-lori
youth, that he may be Joined in th'
holy bonds of Neutrality-suspicious. matter
o'money, mindyoul. KNOB CREEK.