The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-01-31
4 wIiir xxD Wts1on.!

Ouo people should refrain nom Joking. ~ ID
bad-in-age. sss
Dyers are as liable to err as anybody. They
are but hue-mcn 80 ~, 3.,i.
~ see through il, !" a. the old lady said when
the bottom of her tub fell out.
z If you want to be suited, go to good tailor.
If You want to be non-suited, 60 to the law.
! Why are pin and q poker like blind man
Because they have q head and NO eyes.
If you have o. scolding wife, trust to time |; |
old age may bring you the blessing of deafness. |
Why is ~ o'clock in tho evening like, the |
next meanings breakfasts Because it isn't |
yet. Es y ~ - - a 1
It is conjectured that professional thieves
lead comfortable life, because they take things
easy. = = = = 4 - -
Labor is now so abundant in the pineries of
Mine, that lumbermen are working for their
board. 49, -,i at. - E;
The man who was " oyerfowing with the |
milk of human kindness," kept the cream for
his own use. 49, lgss @9ss-.s7 ~ ha- t-tae
ILLUSTRATED with cuts,' said an urchin, as he i
drew his penknife across the leaves. Of his
grammar. ~
Tho notes passed in giving and accepting .
challenge, come under the head Of . pistolary
correspondence.
Bald-headed men take joke more easily,
because they are not at the trouble of g getting
it through their hair" 80.
/ What. is tho difference between . High
Church Episcopalian. and q Baptistf One
burns wax candles and the other dips.
"A German Emperor took for his motto, " Bet 4
ter please one good man than crowd of bad
ones." 3rot Hi-ss sa4 ~
st. Louis has bored $500 feet without finding
water, but keeps the work going, under tho
| impression that it is doing well.
At dinner, given not many miles from West
Hartford, Conn.,, farmer having been asked
for toast, gave, "My own wife and family"
| Mr.. Dump, being long in arrears complained
one morning that his coffee was not settled ed
landlady, /" and then complain"
| great deal of intellect is required in the
management of our railroads. Not only must
the President be o smart man, but even the
switchmen must be men of signal ability. Il
widow once said to her daughter, " When
you are at my age it will be time enough to
dream of q hus6and.D eyes, mamma" replied
the thoughtful beauty, Z" for q second time"
"The dearest spot on earth is home," the
song being believed. Mr. Peggett says it is
true-costs him twice as much as any other
| spot; ruins, in fact o hundred dollar spot each
month.
A drunken Englishman said to Judge Led
Pm q nobleman in Disguise" $50 perceive,
replied the judge; you're drunk as lord,
and disguised in liquor"
"Ephraim," said Simon, "what does young
fellow look like when gallanting his sweet.
heart through o showerf" "Why," replied
Ephraim, looking quite sober, "he has very
much the appearance Of q rain beau.
At = revival, not long since, an old lady
fiociSs A lady la biaet not 70 DO sasaeas
by her sisters, responded, aud blandly asked
who was to pray for I" the old ewes"
A coxcomb, talking of the transmigration OF
souls, said, "In the time Of Moses l have no
doubt was the golden calf" Every likely
replied lady, time has robbed you of moth
ing but the gliding"
A wife in San Francisco lately put petition
for divorce in the court, on the ground that hel
! | husband was q COMPOUNDED fool" The court
! wouldn't admit the plea, because almost every
6 married man would be liable to the same impu
: tation. "a =
} "John, can you tell me the difference between
3 attraction of gravitatiOn and attraction of co
: hesion f':4 Yes" sir said John; attraction
of gravitation pulls drunken man to thu
ground, and the attraction OF cohesion pre-
l. vents his getting up again."
"What are you going to leave me in You
will, Ned :" asked one friend Of another. III
leave you my entire stock of impudence, Tom.
a as it would comprise by fur the largest portion
: of your estate" a. .l.4
J, A cockney in Parliament was reading @ badl.
a written document, when, after vainly trying T.
nearest co-legislator, and asked, " IL that hen
= or o henf" aOh," replied his neighbor, cal
. it hen, and move that it lay on the table,"
care you fond Of Hogg's Tales r asked s., cit:
o roasted, with salt on them," was the response
d .No, mean have you read Hogs Tales
E "No, our hogs are all white OF black. don
/, | think there's red one among them"
/ Two gentlemen, noted for their fondness O
n exaggeration, were stating how they Jared q
8, their different hotels. One observed that .
10 his hotel he had tea SO strong 1T was necessar
vt to confne it in an iron vessel, "At mine," sal
N the other, ait is made SO weak it has no
strength to run out Of the teapot"
:, "Why DON'T you get married 2" said q youn
% lady the other day TO rather elderly bachelo
70 friend. az have besn trying for the last te
n years to find some one who would be sill
y enough to have me- was the reply. CUES
Pc you haven't been up our way" was the insinu
Is . citing rejoinder.
~ A lady gave fancy bali not long since, An
nlaced \ servant at the door to announce tn
no costumes as they entered. A couple of ladie
ne appeared in full ballroom dress: " What CO..