davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14
''Artemus Wards Panorama. y
PUBLICATIONS OF THE "rRoMIsEp BOOK"
"A FEW SCRAPS or uuMOR.

A book entitled "A,temus Ward's
Panorama" has just been published. It
contains the lecture which he delivered 10
England with such success. As our readers
are not so familisr with the English Leo
tures as with his wittiscisms 10 this couu-
try, we select few of the best.
BRIGHAM YOUNG.
Brigham Young has two hundred
wives, just think Of that. He is dreadfully
married. He's the most married man I
ever saw in my life.
Il saw his mother in-law while / was
there l can't exactly tell you how many
there is Of her, but it's . good deal. It
strikes me that one mother-in- law is about
enough to have in one fami)y-unless
you're very fond Of excitement"
MORMON PRosELYr1sx.
II regret to say that efforts were made
to make Mormon of me while was il
Utah.
ut was leap-year when I was there
and seventeen young widows offered me
their hearts and hands. l called on them
one day, and taking their soft white hands
in mine, which made eighteen hands
altogether, found them in tean.
"Aud l said: why is thus! What 10
the reason Of this thusnessi'
'They hove Sigh, seventeen ighs At
different size. They said:
"Oh! thou will soon be gonest away"
II told them that when I got ready to
leave place l wentested.
They said Doth not like us r
II said 4 doth, DOTH
II also said: Ihope your attentions are
honorable, as am lone child, my parents
being far, far away"
"They then said Wilt thou marry not
Us 2
II said /: oh! no! It cannot was"
"Again they asked me to marry them.
and again declined, when they cried.
"Ohi cruel man this il too much !!
Oh! too much ! -
Il told them that It was On aecount al
the muchness that declined" 81,
BRIGHAM YouNo's FAMILY.
'The last picture have 10 show YOU
pr esents M. Brigham Young 10 the b,som
Of his family. His family is large, aud
the olive branches around his table ape in
a very tangled condition. He is more =
father than any man l know. When at
home-as you here see him-hs Ought to
be very happy, with his sixty wives 70,
minister to his comforts, and twice sixty
children to soothe his distracted mind.
"Ah my friends, whst i homs withoata
family ="
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

1E An ex editor having tried mer-
chandising and failed, thus writes to his
friend: Dear -, our firm, a. You
may Know, is defunct institution-dead
past recovery. am doing nothing, and,
rs my means are exhausted, must ere long
fall back upon my head and hands for 4
livelihood To which his friend, not IN.
desstandiug bis meaning, replied. advising
him not TO be 60 rash, but to Try his old
business once moro before connecting him.
self With 4 circus. s@s4 rs.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

II 80 - -
. 6rnt frcn sHouLD Be GuAnpEu
AeAlsp oads oftl,e symptoms Of old
nleid! fhpe1s arc thus described BY .
Son. cIl
hen q 3oman begins to drink her
6! VI ssgar-that's.a symptom.
Whpe ! Snau beginsto read love stories
abed Aymptom When woman
gives y On hearing Of wedding
thai - ptom. When woman begins
teasy Il q hes refused many an offer =
thers Amptom. When woman begins
tos hetsa dreadful set of creatures
|s1e ~ that she wouldn't be bother
ssll oneslcr al the world--that's a
teRs When woman begins to have
n { og- trotting after her. that's a
~ When woman begins to have
I catt her elbow at meal time, and gives
it.ss1 ~ milk-thAt's a symptom
!Whes pan begins, to say that a
ssss4ss 3o business to have sweet
hsast. Sl4es symptom. When woman
be absher fingers over the chairs,
~ - to see If they are dusty, that's
sll6ptplh.
Inn ) woman begins to go to bed
l ~ stoctiags and flannel night. cap
~ ats = sgmptom.-Er.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

efoR11xa 4 D1voRcE CAsE.-The
e5stos - Journal published in Virginia
City telh the following story Of an amateu,
eing necessary for us TO be out oi
@ lor a day, about week since, We
o1ed as SUBJ during our absence,
oo1k man who has long been engaged
y eeacher Of grammer in various schools
IT california. Grammer has always been
4ssong suit as Mark Twain would say,
q although he displayed his peculiarly
III II number Of items, he did not come
starting'y strong in more than hal.
q dozen.
Amobg a number laid over BY the
oyemau. as being to him rather out Of the
se6nal line, we find tho following report Of
3 divorce suit, which he bad prepared. It
|leads
Judge R yesterday. ordered a
'disjunctive decree to be issued, 10 the case
Of Aasy Smith IS. John Smith, severing
the ccpulative conjunction heretofore ex-
isting between the parties. The frequent
imperative moods and violent interisctions
q The masculine gender had rendered it
impossible for the feminine to agree with
him 10 the plural number. The husband
vas much affected during the psrsing Of
y sentence BY the judge
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

1T i doubtful whether human aec1..
tricity ever went farther than i q eeaa
OF the Lord Holland Who w. conlemno,a !.
neous with William the Third. Il ~ Ii
usnal custom to segale bis e.ad q 49,
with weekly concert He bad ! eallerv
specially erected fct the purposs, ssd i
maintained te>t the music oheceed tks;:Y
neafts and improved theis tsmpess.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

A Western Journal calls suicide - fear
fal jump from the present to fnturity."
Saw-dnst pills are. good for patients, II
they. saw their own dust.
The Philadelphia Age calls President
Grant the most gifted" man who ever
held o6ios.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

~A negro driver Of coach IN Texas
stopping to get some water for the yossg
ladies 10 the carriage. being aiksd whae
be stopped for: II am watering my Gov.
ers." A more delicate compliment could
not have been paid.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

~ An italian 10 Cincinnati. vs.
laughed at for bic broken Eaglish, and.
replied testify: '.You laugh & my In
glesse! You speak ItalyoDe, I.nsks ron
seek r. @
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

King Of Chills never fails,
Substitute for quinine. King of Chills,
King OF Chills cures dumb aud shaking chills,
King Of Chills cures every other day chills
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-08-14

Third day chills cured with King Of Chills,
King of Chills cures seventh day chills,
Alter trying every other known remedy, King Of
Chills will cure you.
TRAnAx q Ross, Agents,
VcrmiliOnville.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23

forward such goods as their home stock
are in want OF. It is much o be hoped,
= the weather becomes decidedly more
=~essouable and the snow entirely dlssp
pears from the northern portions OF the
country, that trade will continue to inn
prove, and that the presenth month viii
show q larger volume Of business than
frOp the extreme dullness thus far could
baZxpected. Thetrade in Prints hes re-
Aved to some extent, and a good many
we're opened to-day to satisfy the &c
msnd. We notice no change 10 prices
ia aoy Of the lines Of cotton fabrics; in
fact, 3 firm steady market would now be
preferable to q yielding one, and pros
poets are verging towards that desidera-
tpm.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23

In Tie Liverpool market, st the open
ing to-day, cotton wGs fat, UplaDds I2G
1919, Orleans l2{@I2si. AtIp.m. it was
dull with quotations the same and closed
dull, with sales of 1000 bales, UUlands
l2d, Orleans - /. Shipments from Bona
bsy since last report to 17sh inst, As. 600
bales.
The New York market opened dull
and prices nominal, Low Middlings 27}c,
Uplsnds 2Sl,, Good Middlings 298s, and
was dull with prices unchanged through
out. Sales TO spinners $50 bales, for ex-
port 6S5 bsle7.
Oar market hiss been moderately &C.
tive, but prices have been irregular and
quotations are hard to give with scou-
rsey. Sales for the day will fOos up
something over 1000 bales. A tsbls OF
lbs bales Geol Ordinary was taken st
253e, and 40 good style Lew Mjddlings
at 264e, while we hard Of s few lots of
MiddliDgs being forced of at 263e.
Holders though, We think, were frmer
than for some days back and were rather
less anxious to sell. We quote as fol.
lows:
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
FINANCE AND A
OFFICB@F THE DAILY APPEAL. |
MEMPHIS, April q 1853. J
FINANCE.


FINANCE.
The state OF the money market re-
mains as it was yesterday. Sales o.
cotton in sufficient amounts 70 keep az
our balances cash still prevents resort tC
currency shipments, but it is only by 8
system Of mutual accommodation, IS
we said some days ago, that this is ef.
fected. New Orleans Exchange IL rather
in excess OF the demand, and there is
some disposition to stiffen UP on the buy
ing rates upon that point. They are
now taken at b discount and sold at par.
Eastern bills are taken at par to fe dis
count and sold ct 10 premium.
There is the same inactivity noticed
for some days in Stocks and Bonds.
There is q demand, but none on the mar
ket.
City Scrip is firm but the demand is in
q small way and mostly TO pay wharf
age. DsSlers buy at 1876; and sell at
7S9SOA
County Warrants are quiet. A dealer
cold S7C0 to-day Il 72@c. They buy at
zoe and are not anxious to purchase.
Police Scrip is unchanged, with sbun-
dance upon the market to supply the
demand.
Gold opened 10 New York to-day st
1S4se and has declined steadily, closing
1889. The total clearsnces at the Gold
exchange bank tO-dsy Were S123, 600 600.
Sterling Exchange steady 81 lO81a for
prime 6O-dsy bills. Money on call z per
cent.
Governments opened irmer and mod
erstely sc.ive, ard at noO were gener-
ally STEADY and unchanged, but closed
dull and unsettled
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
FOR ST. LOUIS.
Memphis and So Louis United states
Mail Line.

CITY OF CAIRO--.-.Ma!in master
This elegant and swift steamer II
WILL leave as above ~
SATURDAY, 24th inst, at 5 pm.
Tickets for all points, via Memphis and St.
Louis Packets, North, East and West. Apply
to General RAILROAD Ticket Office, SIS Main
street. CALVERT, .upL.
SAM C. WEAYER, Ticket Agent. ap23
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
roe ST. FRAnCis RIVER.
FOR OIHCINuATI.

Memphis and Cincinnati Packet COMPANY.
For Carlo, Louisville and Cincinnati.
sAM. j. Walker maste
Tbs new and elegant passenger ~
steamer leaves on aL
ii DAY, sd inst, st 5 pm.
JAS. I. B0URSE q co Agents,
apz2 No. Il Jefferson street.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23

The weather is again threatening rain,
and, IS q consequence, business is dull.
Prices are unchanged and the demand
for goods Of every kind remains very
light, for the season. Mess Pork Is dull
and sells only in 3 small way st 80 so to
$50. A round lot on lsvee would drag at
i32. Baecn is steady in price but very
quiet. We quote Clear Sides III tol73e;
Shoulders l4e Clear Bulk Sides l6J to
1876; Shoulders I24 to l3lc. Tae Cattle
market Is unchanged, with Beeves rang
ing from 2 to &C Per posaj gross, as 10
quality. COrO 10 in moderate demand st
IS 70 soc, and Oats dull st IS to 50,
Bran scarce at S26 per ton and Hay
scarce a. S27 for choice Timothy from
fiAtbost. COrnmesl is dulI-fresh 8 90 to
g so in lots, and kilEdried 3 80 to s. 20.
By single barrel or drsylosd from 10 10
25s per barrel higher. Ia Potatoes there
is very iittle doing. Pescablows are drm
ct > to e 50 per barrel, while planting
varieties are dull at I so 70 g. Sweet
Potatoes 81 per busbel in lots; retailing
st 81 %. Sugars Of al kinds are steady.
as lie also Coffee. The tendency both Of
Sugar and Coffee is upward, owing to
the advance In God. There is no mate
rial change in other things since our last
Ii has been generally predicted that
there would be but very little maple
sugar made this season. At the time
wheR the season should commerce there
was q good deal Of snow in the woods.
and not much frost in the ground. Ia
Wisconsin, and il some other portions Of
the West, the crop is light, and it will
not probably be as large in New York as
usual. In New England the season ia
later and the reports are more favorable. |
The Chicago Times Of the 2O.h says OF
provisions;
The market exhibited oonsiAssahla 1
strength yesterday. Ssllers v ere neither
numerous nor anxious 10 nrce sales pDd
tbs prices asked were generally the same
as on Saturday. The demand was A. I
fair, but the business OF the day tsas
somewhat restricted by buyers aud sel. I
leTs being apart in their views or some
articles OF product. Mess Pork sold sI
80 20 $50 25, ard closed with sellers Dis
p sed 10 hold good overweight of~JsFings
al 80 SO. The option seller the LIST half
Of May brought, on Saturday afternoon.
go IS, but on yesterday no speculative
contracts were entered into. Seller All
May was offered at $50 Is, and seller 4
same after the 10Th at $50 so. Lard was
s,esdy at lSe, but there were no actual
sales.
The New York Bulletin says Of Dry
Goods:
Considerable improvement In trade
was TO De noticed generally to-day. and
much activity was shown in some
houses; a weather is much more
agreeable, sLd buyers lately arrived from
NofthsFn points feel encouraged to send
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23

~ ~ A
Stocks al the opening were irregular
in price, bu5 with s large short interest
outstanding, prices coon advanced. The
operations Of the bears again unsettled
the marKet at the > O'Clock call, but it
closed steady and somewhat better
Wells d Fargo Ex.i IS; American Ex.,
404 Adams Ex., COZ ; U. 5. Elk, Sc!
Merchants Union Elk, Is; Quicksilver,
%; Canton 81; Pacific Mail, go West
ern Union Telegrsph Co, AT New York
Central, 1873; Erie, - to -; Hudson,
14si Recalling, IS; Chicago & Alton, 1851;
preferred, 15G; Toledo, w. and w, II;
preferred 81; st. Paul, ~; preferred
S54 Fl. Wayne, 1915; Ohio and Missis-
sippi, So; Michigan Central, I33 Mich
igan Southern, 9S3 Illinois Central,
143; Cleveland & Pittsburg, 92}; Cleve-
land & TAedo, 9Sl ; Rock Island, 1868 (;
Chicago & Northwestern, 81 /; preferred,
95L.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
EXTRAGT OF BUTTER PLANT.

brief allusion to the ori.in q this import
ant discovery may not prove Withdrawing.
Among the authenu 'atsd records OF the re-
nowned Captain Cooks voyage around the
world, is found the statement, that while So
Journing for a snort time on the braziilan
Coast Of Sonth America. he observed the ma
lives using. IN the preparation OF their loodt a
peculiar oil, which, upon examination, he
found to possess the appearance, taste and
flavor OF Butter; upon further inquiry. how
ever, he ascertained that 10 was simply q sub
stance tbas the natives distilled a q crude and
imperfect manner rom a rcn and uLur1anB
plant that grew spontaneously and ~abnndanuy
in that warm tropical country. 4 few years
ago an eminent French chemist. WhLe on q
pro essional visit to the tropics, made numer-
Gus experiments with THIS remarkaoie pro-
ductiOn of nature, ana succeeded IN extracting
q concentrated essence OF Inc plant Inc iOf-
muIa for its preparation, and the Sole Right
for the sale in this country are me exclusive
purchased rom the original discOVerer. We
claim for this remarkable, Jet simple and per-
fectly harmless preparation
LIST. Thai by lis use q net gain Ct from 90 %
800 per cent. Is made in the ma1uiacturs OF
ID. That Butter, which frsm age or whatever
cause, may be strong, rsncid. streaksd or
cOs~rse-grained, ana C mparslvely useless for
general use by the aid OF this Extract Is re-
stored to its original freshness and sweetness,
dne grain and even color.
Sd. By the use OF this Extract, one pound OF
delicious, fresh Butter is actually made from
one pint Of milk.
an. That = pure and excellent table Butter
can De mGQ8, Al a cost OF AlInl ID 10 ~ cents per
pOand. The chief expense wherein being But
ter, which is the essen.il base
9Th. That Butter manufactured BY the aid OF
this Extract Is equal n every respect TO the
best Butter mafe by the ordinary method.
6sn. The Extract. after thorough analysis,
by able chemists, is pronounced perfectly fre5
from any deieteIious Sub-taEce. the tEgrsdt-
ents being pursiy of 4 vegetable nature.
Tth. In proc of the foregoing assertions, the
factory OF this cmp4ny Is making one ton OF
Butter per dag, which meets Win ready sale
In the New York market, ana Is consumer
from the tables OF The drst hotels, restaurants
and private families In this city anu
A sample package N The EXTRACT ys1rneient
to make fifty pounds o bui ter, with tui d.
~rections Tor use, viii be sent 70 any address on
the receipt OF u
subiect to spurious limitations. We would spe-
cialIy caution tbs pubtto against cOQnterfeits
and worthless limitations, advertised a. pow
ders. compounda. etc, as the Extract OF the
Butter Plant is prepared and sold only by
The Economy Butter Company.
ondoe-TI5 LIBERrx STREET.
Faetory-23s GREENWICH STREET. n. Z.
State, County M City Rights for sale, Oaer-
ing 10 capitalists rare opportunities for estab-
Listing . staple business, laying enormous
profits.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23

Also. VALUABLE WATER POWER. for
mill and factory, on Big creek, double in size
and fed by perennial springs Of free-stone water
on tie place
Also, STEAM MILL; also, Cypress Timber
on the railroad. The above Is Acknowledged TO
be the bealfhiest place In the ~country For
further refer 70 a. u. L -tewart.
OF The Circuit Court, to Steele. No lS3 Front
street, or TO myself. Is s. REMBERT.
Rembertons near Memphis, Tenn, april 20, 'ts.
ap2i
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
STATE oF NEW YORK

City and County OF New York. H-
Be Is known, that on this tWenty-fOurth day
OF February, ammo DOmini. one thousand
eight hundred and sixty nine, before me. j.
Leander starr, a Notary Public In and for the
state or New YORK, duly Commissioners and
sworn, residing in the city OF New York, per-
sOnally came MORRIS and VIII
LIAM d. BEERS, VINO being by me duly affirmed
and sworn. did depOse and say, that the con
tents of the atove ffidavit by them subscribed
were true according to the best OF their knoWI-
edge, and belief.
J. L. STARR, Notary Public.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
s1s.48O "a
A OF NEW YORK

City and County of New York. So
MORRIS FRANKLIN, President. and WIILIAM
h bEEks, ActuaTy, OF the new York Life H.
surance company, being severally duly aE
hrIDeu and sworn, do Eeverally depOse and say,
ana each Tor himself says, that the above state
ment OF the sad Company, on the thirty first
day OF December, 1868, is correct and true, ac-
cording TO the best OF their knowledge. infor-
nation and belief
K FRANKLIN, President.
WM. h. BEEkS, Flce-Pres { and Acfuary.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
The Economy Butter Company.
Agents Wanted ETerIWhere.

NJ. CADARTs Pure Vegetable Colortng. 81 q
pound. sufficient to give a rich golden yellow
samDls package. sent to any address. No
farmer should be without IT, as white and
strsaky Butter Is worth from six 20 ten cents a
pound less Ia ali markets than shat Of a rich
yellow. faba
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
LANDS on the New Railroad.
Wednts day, May ne, 1869.

TWELVE miles from Memphis, cleared and
i timbered, Ina tracts to suit, will be offered at
Public sale, for one-ihird cash, balance with
ont intereat. on The remlses
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
BANKRUPTCY.


In the District Court OF the United States, for
the District of West Ter nessee. IN the mat
ter of Kaufman & Co., BankrupiS. Ia bank
Iupt"y. Before Thomas J. Latham, Esq,
Regis. err.
To the creditors ofthe above named banbrupts
Take notice that a third general meeting o.
the creditors OF The said Ddnkrupts viii oe held
at The Once Of said Register. IN the city OF
Memphfs in said District. Gu Turssday, the 18th
day of May, AID, 1869, at 10 o'clock AM, for
The purpose named in the 18th section of the
Bankrupt Act CT March ?, lS67
W. Y CIRODE, Assignee.
Memphis. April p, 1859. ap22
II, the District Court of the United States for
the District OF West Tennessee.-In the mat
ter OF K Z Moody, bankrupt. In bank
ruptcy, before Thomas j. Lathao', Esq., Reg
iyUer.
To tbs creditors of the above named bankrupt:
rake notice, that n second general meeting Of
the creditors OF said bankrupt will te held at
the office of said Register, III the city OF Mem
mis- in said District, on Thursday, the 18th day
Of Nav. lsSg. at 10 O'Clock a ~, for the purpose
named in the 9th section OF the Bankrupt ACT
OF March 2, 1867. W J. CIhObc' Assisnee;
Memphis, April q, lS69. apzz
In the District Court Of the United States for
the District OF West Tennessee. IN me MT
Ter OF A. A. Hi /, Bankrupt. In banK-
ruptcy. Before Thomas j. Latham, Ehq Reg
lister.
To the creditors OF the above named bankrupt
Ta6e notice that a sec nd general meetiss Of
the creditors of said bankrupt VIII be held at
the office of said Register, in the city OF Mem
phis, ~ said IisT CT, on Thursday, the I3t1
the purpose named in The 18th section OF the
Bankrupt Act of March 2, 1857.
W Y. CIHUDE, Assignee.
phis. April q. 1853. apG
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-04-23
SPicSr Sc sharpe.
S54 MAIN STREET,
MAGBVNEY BLOCK

Y Is. ACHOfCE AND SELECT STOCK or
Ia 6ROt kIES fOl family use, and By re-
ceiving fresh additions by every packet, and
almost daily b. rail, their assortment is kept
complete and fresh.
ChOice FIOuF--Rt low prices:
The best HEsE0s and Breakfast Bacon and
TO1HaEs;
E1resh C~AOeOAate, Cocoa and Cocoa Shells;
Chotee Teas--Of ali kinds:
SHAKER PEeserves-sesling lOw by the
case
syrups an Nolasses the hes {;
Chcfce su saFs and OOHees
Mess Mae EeFeI; EenaaE'5 Ora ok ers,
famthefi in the country and city would find
II 70 tfSi interest to call on US Weinyaria6ly
please our patrons
febs sPICER a sB .tzPE.