Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1869-12-23
Humorous Readings.
WIN |" , Scn are sound over.

-Wh.s rogues like old books
When th.- Sound over.
4 DIV who pswned his watch
said III n o or iel,sd r sney with lever
~ ..ed suspender factory al
w.te,h,y v1onn., and said to the pro-
prfseor on. ..,svipg: Whist q misfortune
It would be if pants shouid go out Of
fashion"
-.Oh. my dear child. how came you
90 wet 2" inquired an affectionate mother
of her son. Why, ma, one of the boys
said J. darsen't jump into the creek, and
by jingo, tell you amt to be dared /"
"A coroner's jury in Wilmington.
n. c., has returned . verdict that the de-
ce ased "came to his death by accident
az ID old age.
+ A Louisisna planter had lots of fun
t. ming . panther, until the panther goi
bi enough 70 eat hearty, when he took =
lad fun.
"A Western paper says: +" Wanted at
| this Office, an editor who can please every
body. Also, q foreman, who can % ar
range the paper rs to allow every man.
advertisement 70 head the column
Not long since premium was offered
by an agricultural society for the best
mode of irrigation" and the latter
word, by mistake of the printer, having
been changed TO " irritation farmer
sent his wife tc gain the prize
A French girl asked the priest the
other day, "why Is it, father. that We ak
every day for our daily bread instead OF
asking il for a week, o month or year
"Why you little goose. TO have II fresh. 10
be sure" was the reply.
The country relative of New Eng
la nd mayor, while proudly walking the
.er, ,ets of mayorsify. few mornings
sine. :, was greeted by a street boy with
TN. "A miliar cry, BLACK yer boots, sir =
.No." ws- the reply, ''tbe mayor. of the
c,tv hla ck-d my boots this morning"
The following dispatch recently
rpas-.,d through telegraph oftic 81 lent
Won. one year ago to night, four dollars
and sivb, v--even cents. II you have not
had il long enough, please keep one year
lopyer1 10 Ibis delicate hint this answer
was rrturoed:- Had forgotten it. and
hoped you bad Let her run another
year"
The msddert IMAM in Indiana lives in
Pxtoku. He told b is wife he was going
down cellar to comL lit suicide. and did
70 down and fire br oadsids into pork
barrel His wife kept right on knitting.
and after . while the m IN came up stairs
swearing that women hadn't got any feel
ing. The woman felt awful bad when
she found he had been fooling her.
"A grsenhorn lately took notion to
get married. After the ceremony was
concluded. the happy husband took . 70
osat stamp from his pocket deaiberateiy
walked mp TO the parson, and handed IL
to him saying, s1parson, keep the whole.
you need not give me back any change.
An old lady in Counscticut during
the recent frsshet, being told that her
house would 60 down the creek In hve
minutes, prudently Prooeedsd to change
hr stookings, declaring that she "wanted
to look dsoent before company.
-Ordses loe Q funeral salute to the
late FraAklin Pierce wees recsived at
Fort Tru0bull, New London, only last
wei, and the guns were fred A Hart
lbcd pspsr lean the New Loodcoden are
Hahas 70 gst up nsxt vsek and ars sa'
late n hoaoe Of Mr.. Bamn, the disooverer
Of BsMnis Bay.
-l(n Una Who rsos.tly eleped from
leu ~ allowing lsttsr 70 h~ husbsnd-
II sivcs - reacoa lur hse eoednot, -
ltsrasy nodsl: my dssrss4 yos have
not 90 = nush 4easy - yoa ought
a. "a w. I - yoa 11r Il yos always
Odd I've dearo1f,