The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-04-08
MlSCELLANEO

'"NAN 0O0hd bOoh6s
A sober color-the blues.
Ezperiment-energy out of job.
Burning words-a dictionary on fire
Grain elevators-the extracts of corl
and rye.
Motto for an elderly fashionable
never too late to bend.
A juvenile thiefin New York, arrested
for stealing briar wood pipe, alleged Il
excuse that he was $50 hungry"
a common sight in Italy is dirty
nurse-maid leading along a little ooJ
baby, two or three years old, who has
cigar in his mouth.
Long Neasure-It takes three huh
dred and twenty rods to make mile
but the devil and two other Radicals
are enough to make one Union league.
They are endeavoring to establish In
surance offices in Washington to secure
the payment of board-bins incurred by
Office-seekers, but can get no enc TO take
stock.
An exchange says that farmer cured
bis daughter of the Grecian bend by
throwing water on her, and then laying
her in the sun till she warped" Straigh'
again.
Columbus famous trick of making al
egg stand on its eud, turns ont Mt tc
have been original with him, but was
performed by the Florentine architect
Brunnelleschi, long before the great
navigator was born.
An intelligen gentleman from Jewry,
on his first visit TO an American church,
had q contribution with a hole in the
TOP presented to him, and whispered TO
the collector, 81 don't got mein papers,
unit can't VOTE"
a process has been invented by which
cod fish are deodorized, and chemist
has lately discovered method of ex-
tracing the bitter from quinine. An
other is experimenting upon an lngenl-
GUS plan to get the bark out of sausages.
4 box of blacking turned aside the
dagger of an assassin, and saved the
life of young man in Chicago, who
had provoked the jealousy of blood
thirsty rival. Moral-Always carry a
blacking-box in your pocket when you
are trying to "cut out" another fellow.
"My son." said the veteran at the foot
of the stairs, "arise and see the newly
risen luminary of day, and hear the
birds singing their martin song of praise
to their great Creator; come while the
dew is on the grass and tender lambs
are bleating on the hili-side; come,
say, or will be up there with a switch
and give you the cussedest licking you
ever had"
II is a fact not generally known, per-
haps, that Washington drew his last
breath in the last hour of the last day
of the last week, in the last month of
the year, and the last year of the cen
tury. He died on Saturday night, at
twelve o'clock, December 81, 1899.
DO you say your prayers regularly
every night and morning p asked a
sympathetic lady of little shoeblack
to whom she had just given a trife.
81 alluz scz 'um at night, mHm, but any
80 foHa nf htg1alf -
the daytime" was the little rOgue's re-
ply.
A Nashville druggist has invented a
rat paint made of a preparation of phos-
phorOus. You first catch the rat aud
then paint him. After dark he looks
like ball of fire, and going among his
fellow rats they get scared to death at
the eight of his cOunteuance," and va
cate the premises, the bright particu.
lar" rat following and hurrying up the
rear.
A certain paterlamilias residing near
Winsted, Connecticut, and who is in
the habit of exacting of his household
a strict fulfiIlmcnt of all devotional du-
ties, recently heard terrible racket
among the youngsters in their dormi-
tory. Going to the staircase, he sternly
demanded to know what was the mat
ter up there. The following was the
explicit reply: Harry won't let me say
my prayers, d-n him."
The Mount Pleasant (Iowa) Press, of a
recent date, says; "Out of fifty women
eating supper at festival, it is fact
that thirty of them sit on one of their
feet. Why do theyl' The Oskaloosa
Citi.en undertakes to give an answer in
the following atrocious manner: "They
don't ont this way. You can fiud ne
woman in this bailiwick with foot big
enough for any thirty ether women to
sit on. Not much. Good heavens what
underpinning the Mount Pleasant danes
must have if the above reflection of our
bachelor cOtemporary was suggested by
actual observation. And yet, in case of
a grass hopper raid, two or three such
feet around on a farm couldn't be
sneezed at. They'd be handy day times;
but, ugh what would you do with them
% nightsp