The Portland daily press., 1869-10-15
Gossip and GieaninGs L.

-"The blessed man that preached for us las
Sunday said Mrs. Partington, "served the
Lord for thirty years first as a circus rider,
then as a locust preacher, and last as an ex-
hauster'
Hiram Fay is Wisconsin man whose do
mestic amusements consist in beating his wife
with large rod which he keeps. for the pur-
pose, and holding his childreu's heads under
water until they become insensibe.
"A Scotchman has 10 t two suits for breach
of promise brought against him by the same
girl and got his dam iges back by a third en-
gagement with his pursuer which he kept.
"A Scotch clergyman was talking very Sc
riously to parishIoner about drinking, and
hoped he had produced some effect. And 80
he had, for the parishoner said, "Ye're I'eht,
sirl whisky's bad thing, especially bad whis-
kyr'
"A ludicrous story is told Illustrative of
Neander's absence of mind. The learned Ger
man was one day walking with his man ser
want, and having walked for some distance
with one foot on the trottoir and one in the
gutter. he cried out to the man servant who
accompanied him, "Holoa Carl, I must be
lamer'
"A good story is going about of ship own
er who lately undertook TO smuggle we'd
ding outfit for his daughter on one of his ves-
sels But hardly was the ship in port when
the revenue officers went straight TO the cap
tain's state-room, where the interesting mrr-
chandise was hidden, and seized it all. They
had heard of it from the ehit-chat of the young
lady herself, who had boasted freely of the
way in which her outfit was to be got. Moral:
Ladies who smuggle should not talk too much.
"A wealthy gentleman, who owns country
seat, nearly lost his wife, who fell into river
which flows through his estate. lie announc-
| ed the narrow escape to his friends, expecting
| their congratulations. One OF them-an old
bachelor-wrote as follows:-'I always told
you that rivers were too shallow"
"A Sunday school teacher was giving les
son ON Ruth. She wanted to bring out The
kindness of Boaz III commanding the Keepers
to drop larger haudfuls of wheat. Now,
children" she said, "Boaz did another very
nice thing for Ruth; can you tell me what it
was?" Married herP said one of the boys
-"Sim," the Chief of the washoe Indians,
is dead. newspaper published among the
was good, though very dirty red man. He
possessed well-balanced head of hair, and
stomach enough for all be could get to eat
His regard for the truth was Dotabe--he new
| er meddled with 1t. He left no VIII ana MS
estate consisted of a pair OF ooots'
| -"Wbere's nv wife," inquired our friend
| Nj, ON rotnrning home early one evening, aud
,,,,asin, his better half "She's gone to bed
| Ill, ,be toothache," was the reply Of some
,.,on,ber of the family "Well," said the in
| diopaut Nil, "if she had rather 60 to bee with
| the toothache than to go to bed with me, let
her go;" and he settled himself to the perusal
of the latest news.
81 went in to bathe," said Yankee; ''but
before was long in the water saw huge
double iawed shark making rapidy towards
me- What was TO be done? When he was
within yard of me, 1 faced round, dived un-
der the shark, and taking a knife, from my
pocket, ripped the monster up" But dip
you baihe with your clothes on?" asked an as
tonshed listener?" well" answered the
story teller, reproacbfully, "well, do think
you needn't be so tarnatiou particular.
For some time past experiments on large
scale have been carried on at Cologne, with
view to test the qualities of a new explosive
material invented by Monsieur Krebs at
Deutz. The "Lithofracteur," as the substance
under examination has been named by its iu-
ventor, has already been successfully employ
ed in mining operations, and it appears that
the recent experiments have proved It's
perfect applicability to military purposes
| The secret of its composition is Kept pro
found mystery, but the advantages claimed for
II ore greater explosive power than that pos
sessed by nitro -glycerine, small production OF
smokeand freedom from all danger CT explo-
sion during transport