Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1869-08-19

We have bssa without : pastor


We have ben without pastor
Some eighteen mnn1hs or more,
J But the candidates M quite plenty,
For we've had near : score
O. tip tup fancy preachers
As ever loosely ran;
Yet we're stfll very far
From finding just the man.
The first who came among US
Was by no means the worst;
But then we didn't think Of him,
Because he was the first
For It's now quite the custom
To sacrifice O few
Before the church in earnest
De termines what to do.
There was smart young fellow
With a serious, earnest way,
Who, but for one serious blunder,
Had surely won the day.
He left so good impression,
On Monday one or two
Went round among the people
To see If he would do.
The pious, godly portion
Had not fault to find;
His clear and sober preaching
They thought the very kind.
Then all went smooth and pleasant
Until they heard the views
OF some Influential sinnerr,
Who rent the highest pews
On these, such pungent dealing
Made such sorry hit
His war OF Gospel preaching
Was quite too tight to fit,
OF course his fate was set'l.d,
Attend, ye parsons all
And preach to please the sinners,
If you expect a call.
Next came spruce young dandy,
He wore his hair too long;
Another's coat was shabby,
And his voice not over strong.
But young college student
Was worse than all of those:
We couldn't hear the sermon,
For thinking of his nose.
Then weary of candidates,
We looked the country through,
Mid doctors and professors,
To find one that might do,
And after much discussion
of-,ue to bear the ark,
With tolerable agreement,
We fixed on Dr. Parke
And now VIC thought it settled
But were amazed TO find
Our hatteIing invitation
Respectfully declined.
We turned to DR.. Hopkins,
To help us in the lurch,
Who strangely thought a college
Had claims above church.
Next, wedispatched committees
By two and threes, to urge
Tha labor for a Sabbath,
Of the Rev. Shallow Splurge-
He came, and made sensation,
So wonderful his style:
All heard the creaking of his boots,
As he passed up the aisle
His tones were so affecting,
His gestures SO divine,
y lady tainted i'll the hymn,
Before the second line.
And on that day he gave US,
In accents clear and loud,
The greatest prayer ever addressed
To an enlightened crowd.
He preached double sermon,
And gave an angels food
On that lovely topic of
"The joys of solitude"
Twas full of sweet descriptions
OF flowers and pearly streams,
fwarbling birds, and moonit groves
And golden sunset beams.
OF faith and true repentance,
He had not word to say:
he rounded all the corners.
And smoothed the rugged way:
Managed with great adroithess,
To entertain and please,
And leave the sinners conscience
Completely at its ease.
Six hundred is the salary,
We gave in former days
We thought it very LIBERAL
Ard fonni il hard to raise
But when We took the paper
We had no need To urge,
To raise cool two thousand
For the Rev. shallow Sprague.
In vain were all our efforts
We had no chance at all
We found ten city churches
Had given hun call
And he, in prayertul waiting,
Was keeping all in tor,
But where they paid the highest,
1t was whi-pered ne would g.
And now. gooi thri-tian brother.
We ask Your earnest prayers
That God shall send sheph,r!
Toguld our church aiturs,
With the clear understanding,
That to meet our pIous views,
He must preach to please sinner,
And fill the vacant pcws.