The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1869-03-19

abandoned his calling. When th
var broke out he enlisted on tn
Southern side and fell in desperat
cavalry charge. That hickman
lrove him to death. The last mem
: ory that haunted him must have bee
that of the melancholy Dave''
L. Riding the Velocipede.
/ have just returned from Ney
York, and | am happy to say tha
while there / had the pleasure o
casting my eyes upon the velocipede
AS regards tie moral character o
his new beast Of prey, bave come
) to the conclusion that the exercise
is very interesting so long as yor
are riding the velocipede but wher
the velocipede takes notion to ride
you, l can not conscien,iously assert
that there is not anything particu
tarly eXhilaratiDg in it
The morning after my arrival in
the city l was walking around, look.
ing for elephants and other insects,
when, as ] was passing building on
the corner of Broadway and an ap-
pie stand, ! heard an unusual com
motion upstairs. st is an elephant,
thinks TO myself, and up | went
/ On arriving at the head of the stairs,
| opened the door OF the room from
which the noise proceeded, and
7 walked in. There for the fist time,
[ sweetly gszed oD the comical
actions OF the skii'ish little cuss
which 1 afterwards found ont was
called velocipeGe.
About dcZen individuals were
present. Among them was q solitary
woman, apparently a female, dressed
partially in pantaloons her waterfall
had come off, and she looked kind oil
lemoralized. On, fellow was hold
ing her up. and | heard him ask her
in gentle tones If it hurt her much?
: The others were occasionally casting
shy g.ances at her, and looking as if
tley were very much amused st
something that had been done. 1
turne.t 10 4 man near me, who see med
10 be a sort OF master Of ceremonies,
ard asked him what was the matter
with the woman
'Velocipede,' said he, with very
Frenchilied accentaIiOn.
She what 2 said l, not exactly un-
deerstanding him.
sTe-ioci pede,' he repeated in meas
ured accents.
Did they catch her in the acty' /
whispered.
At this a bystander took pity on
our mutual MISUNDERSTANDING, and
informed me that the person | was
talking to was French gentleman
who had crossed the broad and briny
deep on purpose 70 teach iliiterate
Americans how to ride'horseback on
wheelbarrow. and that he couldn't
understand English very tluently.-
Also that the young lady was a
stron9-minded female who had de-
termined to conquer the velOcipede
or die in the attempt; that she had
inserted herself into pair OF pan
falcons expressly for the occasion !;
that she had mounted the velOcipede
with valor that did honor to both
the sexes she represented but that
the thing got the upper hand of her
the first move, which accounted for
the disordered state of her clothes.
After this satisfactory information,
l took a general survey of the apart
ment. 1t was filled with velocipedes
in various stages of growth. Here
was one man riding velocipede;
there was a velocipede riding another
man. A third fellow had got the
thing under such perfect control
that with little effort he could tall
of on whichever side he pleased
which is a very desirable stage OF
process-it makes your clothes wear
even.
For the benefit of those who have
not seen it, or q picture of it in the
illustrated papers, will attempt TO
give a brief but accurate description
of this new and useful snimsl the
velocipede, in its natural state, when
in motion resembles the posterior
circulator of two ambitious wheel
barrows climbing race up a creased
AK handle.
OF course my mind was mostly
occupied, during the balance of the
day, thinking OF the veloeipede.-I
About IL O'Clock, more or less, p
M, retired to my virtuous couch,
and was soon in the arms of Orpeous.
And dreamed a hiceous dream
Methcught I Was local editor. /
dreamed / had bought = velocipede
on credit, OF course--to ensSle me
to ga:her news more rapidly than
would otherwise be possible. i
dreamed ] WAS seated in the editorial
sane nm, when 4 rumor reached me
Of a hideouS murder in the upper
part of town. How lucky that had
a velocipede-sadd'ed, bridled, and
near at hand. L flung myself npon
it's back, aad started. Nc, didn't
start, iOr--horrors OF horrors the
thing wouldn't go. What was the
matter? Had ny velocipede gone
back on me? Was it 5alky? Were
my contemporaries and competitors
TO get ahead of me i'll obtaining the
particulars of thstit PERISH the
horrible thought! 1 did everything
in my power TO start my velocipede,
but all in vain; could not bulge
the thing au inch. With one de
81 airing effort l shouted, "On to
Richmond !'-and woke up. found
myself a straddle of The foot board OF
he bed, with my arms around the
hedpost, cndeavoring 20 induce them
to carry me TO the scene of the
imaginary catastrophe. Its perhaps
unnecessary to remark that after j
woke up, no more than before, the
bedpost wouldn't go.
The Straight Of 1t.
We overheard q conversation the
other day between two little urchins
which. for its intelligence, We con-
- -o.l nna Of rho hOve IL ON