The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1869-08-26
MARRIED BY TELEGRAPH.

"Mr. r.Leary, are you . married man ?"
"Very, SIR"
Every why do you say very9"
because my dear little wife and are
bound together by wires"
"Latimer Leary, you talk enigmas."
"Then, sir, to be plain as a primer,
will inform you thst was married by
telegraph"
"You don't say So"
"Yes, DO"
"Then tell the company all about the
AFFAIR." '..
II will with pleasure. Ladies and
gentlemen, my wife is second cousin,
and was Leary. She once resided In
the city Of Indianapolis, while was a
resident Of Centreville, In the same
State.
Twas bachelor Of thirty, but full OF
romance and general love. l say OF
general love. because 1 had not made a
concentration.
why don't you take wife: was
eternally buzzed in my ears.
Whom will take?' said I.
To this query a score of friends would
say:
Your relative, Kate Leary.'
Kate Leary, why, she is my own
cousin!'
Only u second cousin,' they would re-
tort; and your opposite, Latimer.
Kate is blonde, and you as dark as
Erebus or the ace oi clubs
Il never had seen Miss Leary, but
this continual association Of the young
lady with my welded lite had an in.
fiuence.'
'One day member Of Congress ex.
claimed, 'Mr. Leary, were / single, I
would assuredIy pay court to your cous-
in. As am married, and you are my
best friend, can earnestly hope you
will possess the luxury
AT this period was o merchant.
Having discharged a thieving clerk, I
was SO confined to my store that a jour-
ney to indianapolis was out Of the ques-
tion. l was growing almost wild to see
one whom all praised; aud many
wished me to wed.'
! In a few days from the call of my
Legislative friend, his brother, a noted
Judge, appeared at my store. The judge
was also my devoted alIy-a position
intensified by his recollection of being
educated by my deceased father
Drawing daguerreotype from his
shs s 'sH f. sltS. aS ssp ssy sS%s e.
that? 1 told him it was absolutely
charming
| who is it?' I cried with enthusiasm
This. my dear friend, is Miss Kate
Lcary, the young lady wish you to
marry.
Tell me, exclaimed 1, is she all they
claim for her?'
MY dear friend, honestly, as I value
truth, have not heard her sufficiently
praised
''Why don't some man try his luck?
Il am glad you asked. Simply becau G
she is overcourted, and consequently
hard to please. She is romantic, and l
clearly see not winable by ordinary
Methods
You say she is very PARTICULAR
She is, SIR
'Then goodbye for me-
Not at all; She is rapturous over your
likeness, and sends her cousinly love
with an invitation to visit her. ] pledge
you of emitting not a single good point
in your body, caiibre or character
DO you consider her daguerreotype
accurate p
Il can tell you it don't flatter her. She
has extraordinary beauty. and the kind
that is more striking in animation of
conversation
While mutual friends in Centreville
were lauding my fair cousin, mutual
friends In indianapolis were decided in
their eulogies Of me, and preparing her
mind for an alliance.
l am not self conceited. Believing
such concord must be born of an obvious
i.scct, settled on the idea of marrying
this wonder in beauty, soul and accom-.
plishment.
My intent was quickly confirmed up
Oh hearing that u very wealthy aud in.
f]uential banker from Gotham was in
the melting mood. l remember it was
midnight. l limited from my store the
last batch Of chronic loungers, and Sc.
lected the best stationery in my estab.
lishnent. was to write my first letter
to Kate.
Such reply as received! Well
you must seeit-you shall see it. have
good gas works, but am Inadequate. III
brief time we learned that each knew
the other well. The much said by 3,
many lnutuals, superadded to ouI
daguerreotypes and letters, made US
comprehending couple. In fact, WI
confessed our iove-a full, round, rip.
aud luscious article. There could be ~,
unsafety IN the case. Our lineage wa.
il: common, and every fact known, wha
followed is sclear-an engagement!-yes
between unseen lovers and cousins.
| was sayinu' to fold her tn nv hea RI