Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-04-30

{. ny 'HS W SIC tttS ShoH "it"'"' -
Honesty without sharpness is like
: Il sword without edge or point-very
well for show, but Of no use to the
= owner.
Hope is n pleasant acquaintance,
, but an unsafe friend. Hope is not
the man for your banker, though he
! may do for travelling companion.
The first Of all virtues is innocenc :
the next is modesty. If we Danish
modesty out of the Md, she carries
away with her half the virtue that is
in it. g..
Grief knits two hearts in closer
bonds than happiness ever can; and
common sufferings are far stonger
links than common joys.
Tothe remark that Secretary Bout
well graduated from a country store,
an exchange very properly replies:
"He is none the better for that. 1t is
not what men graduate from but
what men graduate into that tells
the story" 49,
A clever old. school Connecticut
deacon was asked, "What is the diff
ence between old divinity and new?"
Answered: "Old divinity sends the
prodigal son home in rags and utter
poverty; new divinity brings him
back with money enough to pay his
expenses"
The burglar Wilson, who pleaded
his own case before Hartford jury,
the other day, when receiving the
admonition of the Judge, preliminary
to the sentence, cut it short by ex-
claiming, "D-n it, give me my sem
tence; 1 don't want any lecture
here"
During the first battle of Bull Run
a Brigadier General discovered q SOL
der concealed in hole in the ground,
and ordered him to join his regiment.
The man, looking him full in the
face, placed his thumb upon his nose
and replied: mo you don't, old fell
low, you want this hole YOURSELF"
A shrewd farmer in The Vermont
Legislature declined answering the
speech of a member who was re-
markable for nothing but frothy and
pugnacious impudence aud selfcon-
ceit, thus: "Mr. Speaker, / can't
reply to that're speech, for it always
wrenches me terribly TO kick at
nothing"
A countryman who had never paid
more than twenty-five cents to see an
exhibition went to n city theatre one
night to see the Forty Thieves. I"
The ticketseller charged him seventy
five cents for ticket. Passing the
pasteboard back he quietly remarked.
Keep it, mister, / don't want to see
the other thirty-nine," and out he
went.
4 correspondent writes us that
carbonic acid has recently been sue
cessfully used near Railway, New
jersey, for determination of mosqui-
toes and flies. A small piece of
cioiii, saturated with the acid, was
hung up in q room, and in two hours
the flies had entirely disappeared.
In the evening the acid was tried in
= the kitchen where the mosquitoes
were very troublesome, with like
success. The remedy is worth try
, ing.
3 A party of roughs recently stopped
; at hotel i'm East Greenwich, Wash
ington county, n. Y. The landlord
; was absent from home, but the bar
keepers place was filed by his
daughter. She refused to let them
have liquor. They attempted to help
themselves, whereupon she quietly
took up a loaded pistol, and, cooking
it, told them they had her permission
to leave. Several coat-tails were Just
then seen disappearing out of doors,
and the young lady was left master
: of the situation.
A coat that has marks of use upon
. it, is recommendation to people OF
sense, and a hat with too smooth a
nap and too high lustre, is derog-
atory circumstance. The best coats
are on the backs of penniless, broken
down merchants, clerks with pitiful
salaries, and men who don't pay up.
The heaviest gold chains dangle
from the fobs of gamblers and gentle.
men of very limited means. Costly
ornaments on ladies indicate to eyes
that are well opened, a silly lover or
. husband cramped for funds.
The Dayton Journal says that u
man and his wife by the name of
Layton, living few miles from Yer
sales, Drake county, went to church
a few nights ago, leaving two little
children at home, with u coal oil
lamp. When filling the lamp,
the mother had spilled a little
oil on the table, and one Of the chill
dren lighted a match, and set it afire;
the other child then procured the oil
can to Put few more drops on the
fire to make pretty light! The can
instantly blew to pieces, and one of
the children was burned to death,
and the other seriously injured.
At Harlem, n. Y, one day recent
ly, George w. Conklin fell into q
creek. His cries brought his wife to
command, she procured boat which
the scene. Obeying her husbands
was moored near by, and had nearly
reached her husband when he sank
for the last time, and when recovered,
a short time afterward, life was found
to beextinct. Just before going down
finally, Conklin raised his hands inn !
ploringly to his wife, and with bis
parting breath exclaimed" I'm go
ing Mary; take good care of the chill
dren Good bye"
In one of the courts, n few days
since, very pretty young lady APP
peared as witness. Her testimony
was likely to result unfavorably for
the clientof pert young lawyer who