Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-04-06
An Old Maids Views.

Some one who avows herself an old maid
takes very cheerful and satisfactory view of
her social situation in the Troy Times. Her
views will be Of iaterest to many:
1t always astonshes me when take reali
zng seflse of the fact that am an old maid !
Why, you Il scarcely believe it when | confess
that once had lovers by the legion, and offers
were as numerous as firtations are now a-days
[ was always in love. [ don't remember the
time when had not some William or Frank to
dream about and write love-letters to; and as
donned my long dresses some handsome Charles
Augustus was sure to keep my thoughts en-
pIoyed until another with greater fascinations
superseded him. You need not imagine l re-
gret them now. No, indeed My life is pleas
ant one. No one annoys me- No husband firts
with other men wives or young girls, break
ing my heart. No husband calls me my love"
in company, and ''old brute at home! He
does not growl at milliners' bills or extravagant
wardrobes. He never sits looking at me, wish
ing were as handsome as Mrs. B-or Miss
j. He does not wish my eyes were as di-
yinely blue and my hair as charmingy golden
as Katie over the way. He never casts sly
glances at pretty girls, throwing them kisses
when my back is turned He doesn't marvel
how he ever came to marry me when there were
so many handsome women in the world If |
am i'll, he is not wondering how weeds would
become him, and if he should he obliged to
have an expensive funeral. He isn't thinking
what jolly widower he would make, and how
him. or how gladly Flora Jane - would lift
up her bewitching brown eyes and promise to
be his He does not complacently fondle his
elegant moustache before the mirror, and think
every one must pity him. and regret (glrls es-
>pecialy) that so handsome man should be
bound to so plain looking a woman. He ism t
watching me continually to see if fulfill all my
duties as a wife to criticise every movment, to
be annoyed at the weakness OF the tea, the
| toughness of steak, or the lateness of the break
fast Thank the gods-no am a free woman.
do as [ please, go where L please, think,
| breathe, sneeze, wink. eat, and sleep, as |
please. Old Mother Hubbard had her dog,
Dame Crump had her pig, but [ have my cat !!
An intellectual animal TOO; one that has more
natural intelligence than many children. Tab
| by and enjoy ourselves IN rational manner.
| She never speaks cross word neither do L.
Together we sit and think hours at time, by
| the open CRATE, and draw morals from the fire
within Tabby has quiet temperament, and
we never quarrel. | often hear people exclaim
| that old maids are always gosslps. Not so. |
don't care if Mary Jane has stolen another girl s
beau. | never feel interested In the cost Of Su-
not wonder that Mrs. C-should be extravagant
| or that Miss C-should firt so much. What
| do care? Tabby and [ occasionally remark
upon the folly and stupidity Of certain persons,
| but we do not mention it out OF our own family.
| Nv cat is not communicative neither am [.
Yesterday [ met one of my old lovers Once
| he praised my eyes, my lips the beauty Of my
hair. the freshness of my manners. He pro
fessed to love me, but he met prettier girl and
I gayer young man, and so we parted. Heis
married now, has cross, faded wife and seven
children He looks old and weary. felt sorry
! for him. but smiled at my folly in even vast
nv ioly life Of an old maid? Never My hair
is growing gray but don't use Halls Hair
Restorative. - My face has some wrinkles in
| it, but [ don't use ''Laird's Bloom of Youth. =
| NV fingers are not white and soft and dimpled,
| Int do not bathe them with cold cream and
wear old kids. L don't tear out my hair with
crimpers I never wear long trails that sweep
the ground for half mile. l do not wear
humps on my back, and double up with the
fashionable ''Grecian bend. L don't have to
wear eyeglasses and pretend L am near-sight-
ed ed I am not obliged to wear butterfly S wing
on nv head in February, freezing my ears until
thew are purple. I don't have to 60 shivering
in low.necked. dresses, nor howl opera music
mill nv throat il sore, nor study attitudes be-
fore nv mirror, nor twist my tongue out en-
deavoriing to learn German, nor fall in love with
lam not under the painful necessity of squeez-
inc nv hands in No. gloves when seven is my
number, nor do pinch my, feet in little shoes
until existence seems burden. do not have
to sing Italian dtties th in langusShing al manner
waved moustache. [ am far more independent
in INV NV nlain meriso, with my hair in a little
Lnnt ' than Miss Flora McFlimsey is In her silks
and and sparkling diamonds. | can look at gay
uoung man. and he does not fatter himself that
/ am am dying for love of him. !. can 60 to church
iish f hats and handsome dresses Of my neigh
bors. I, | can enjoy my friends successes and
riches, feeling no envy. | can see lovers kiss
their sweethearts goodnight without pang.