Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1869-04-22
OFFICE.sEEKIHG.


oFFIcE.sEEKaG.
Don Piat, the talented correspondent Of the
Cincinnati Commercial furnishes that paper with
the following racy sketch of the wild hunt after
Office with which Washington city is now afflicted.
p. P" says:
was at work in my room yesterday, when tan
specimen of upight humanity stalkedi in
"Are you D. P. ?" it asked.
Since entering upon my vocation Of correspond
ent-I mean truthful, independent correspondent
III regard that question with suspicion, quiet
ly reached out, and in careless, graceful manner
put my right hand on paper weight Of few
pounds, made Of ''black-diamopd. homogeneous
eaststeel, bent cold" for the use Of the learned
Committee on Commerce, and regarded my visitor
closely,
He was man Of about 6fty-six, with bald head,
curious, sharp little eyes, an undecided nose, and
chin that retrsated into psper collar. His clothes
were Of what We caA store goods in the Far West,
Fand had evidently exhausted the genius ofa village
tailor. His lep were slender and shaky, not from
age, but from habit Of never STRENGTHENING them
at the knee I said to myself this is not fghtst.
He shufles through life. He has shufaed into Of
fee. So released my hold on the paper weight,
and boldly responded:
''That is my name, sir.
II am Mr.. --, member Of Congress from
-. have read your letters. Mr.. -, the
editor of our paper, told me to look you up."
'I am glad to know you, sir. Take seat What
can do for your
II want some passes" he said, earnestly, seat
himself.
"What sort of passes?'
Railroad"
II fear cannot help You in that way, Mr..
--. had pass for myself and family from
the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, but because, in
return for the compliment, I said the President
had locomotive in his belly, am cut of. But
why do you want passes? Are you preparing to
run awsyp'
II wish could" he answered sadly. ~ wish
I could. No, that is not 1t. I am run down by Of
6oe-seekers from my district They pile in on me
|at my boarding house. I have been sleeping every
night on my bed room floor. They follow me sbopt,
and chase me down. They have smoked all my
cigars and drank up all my whiskey, and now they
are getting out Of money and want to borrow.
I heard where to find you; made an excuse to go
into an alley, and I ran away. A police officer
thought was thief and ran after me. / told him
I was member of Congress- running from the Of
6ce-seekers. He said that was rough, and let me
co. There is one-a woman-worse than all the
rest She wants the best post Office have. What
in the Internal jinks does Grant mean by setting
such an example? ALI the females in my district
are writing to me, and two hundred Will be here,
somehow, if we don't repeal this foolish law and
fI the Offices. This woman torments my life out;
and yet, if give her the Office, won't dare 60
home She follers me up like Satan. Ican't sleep,
I can't put on clean shirt, she pops in on me so
unexpected. Now, if had railroad pass
Glow would that help you?
II believe, if I could say to her, can't give
you an Office, -ut here is railroad pass, she take
it and go. But, Lord love you, I want hundred.
They re getting out of money, I tell you, and If
had only had 'em. Now, can you help meH You
newspaper men always have lots Of passes. The
editor in our town hasn't paid railroad fare for
more n twenty years"
had to assure my poor friend that I really could
not help him. I suggested to him to get q sign
painted, "Smal.pox in this House, " and put it up
over his door.
'Pooh," he cried, do you suppose they'd care
for that? Every bloody one of 'em would get vac
cinatsd, and work in on me. Cholera would not
keep 'em off. I wish I'd been sunk in eternal
thunder before I consented to come to Congress
Consented? worked like mule for it. 1t cost
me all of $sOO-more fool L What can do?
My neighbors and constituents wanted national
dog law for the better protection Of their sheep,
and to raise the price of wool Why, it would
take fellow two years to learn the rules, and then
I don't think I could do hooter. But cuss these
of6ce-seekers,"
'sYou are safe on the floor, however"
"Devd bit They get around the doors and
send in their names They run up in the gallery,
to see if I'm there, and then down they come.
hid in the barber shops every day for week, be-
fore they found me out And then Ettlebang,
who wants to be Minister to Europe, wrote home
to the paper and said had been made chairman
Of the standing committee on hair
How long my friend would havecontnued his
lamentations I cannot say, but he was interrupted
by an arrival of sixteen of his friends and left very
detected. d. ?.
A PRUDENTIAL CRcUMsrANcE-A moralist
took his daughter to see the Siamese twins. lob
serve, Prudence, my DEAR" he remarked to her,
sobserve the care exercised by Providence which