The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1869-02-18
a Cincinnatian'S Experiences in Chi.
cagO.

A CORRESPONDENT of the Cincinnati
Times relates his troubles during late
visit to Chicago:
AT HOME, February 6, 1869.
For the first time, strange to say, We
"the subscriber the evangelical
city of Chicago last week, and chung up
our hat" with our esteemed friend. John
B. Drake, Esq, of the fremont House.
We were courteously received, assigned
comfortable room, and, being somewhat
fatigued, retired at an early hour Sunday
evening, to dream of suicides, divorces, and
such little incidents for which the city OF
virtue is notorious. After considerable
effort, owing to the disturbed state of our
mind, We succeeded in finding tired ma
lures sweet restorer, balmy sleep"
Arising at an early hour Monday morn
ing {" the early bird catches the worm"
and we were after it, we sailed forth for
a morning walk, vending our way toward
the lake shore-haviDg heard of the effica-
cy of the lake breeze-and had proceeded
but a few steps when we were accosted by
a well-dressed individual who spOrted an
elegant nose glass of pure gold-so we
thOught-and carried in his hand a huge
bundle ofapparently legal documents
"Mornin', sir" exclaimed our legal
friend, extending his hand.
"Good morning, sir; happy to meet
you"
"Out early, sir best time for business"
opening memorandum book" sup
pose you have your points all arranged"
perhaps you are mistaken, sir. | am
not in need of legal assistance at present"
mo necessity for being reticent, my
fri mn RI
furnish your papers in short time"
"Wnat papers doyou mean, sir? know
nothing of papers"
ly the gentleman "(opening the memoran-
dunn gentleman from Ohio stopping at
the fremont House, wants divorce"
"Divorce the devil; Inever thought of
such thing. What do you mean, sir ?"
"Beg pardon, sir :; no use getting excited
over so light an affair l assure you it's
very ingular-gentleman from Cincin-
natl five feet seven, light Completed,
dark hair, sandy whiskers, and"
Expecting to hear our name called next,
we endeavored to pass on, but were de-
tanned by the stranger, who.seized our arm
and exclaimed.
"Dang it, if you are not the man, you
look like you wanted, or at least ought, to
be divorced"
We are disposed to be peaceable, having
been raised in a Quaker neighborhood, but
must admit that this last remark got our
dander up, and before we could regain
composure aimed blow at our tormen-
tors nose. which he wisely lodged and
permitted us to measure our length upon
the sidewalk. Picking ourselves up. as
best we could, we hurried on, thankful for
our escape.
We had proceeded but few steps from
the scene of our adventure when we were
again accosted, this time by gentleman
whom we took for member of the tonso.
rial profession.
"Pass right in this way, sir; you'll find
everything all right"
A glance at our wardrobe suggested that
little attention was necessary in order to
regain our former respectable appearance,
and, following, were led into a gOrgeously
furnished parlor, where sat half dozen
beautiful ladies, ranging in summers from
sweet sixteen to thirty-five. We were
Immediately surrounded, when one, a
bewitching, smiling, devilish little crea-
ture, who seemed to have been chosen as
interrogatress, addressed US affection
ately:
"You have had them properly made out,
presume"
"What do you mean, my dear Miss? l
do not understand you"
Didn't you get your papers?
What papers? l have ordered no
papers"
dust like all the Ohio people-don't
want to acknowledge"
81 must confess, Miss, that this whole
affair is a mystery to me; and, really,
would like an explanation"
Well, well, that is funny, isn't it,
girls?"
Really laughable," exclaimed all pres
ent, pressing so close around US that we
were perfectly hampered
Yes, it islaughable, but the laugh is all
on your side," 1 exclaimed
"Ain't you, or have you not been, a mar
ried MANI"
"Most undoubtedly | am married
man, and, beside, am the father of numer-
Gus children"
Well, haven't you applied for and OBJ
tanned divorce?
Here l began to. feel my temper rising
again, but, being in the presence of ladies,
suppressed my indignation and replied
mo and If had, what has this a..