davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Mrs. SECRETARY Misunderstanding of
Mrs Rawlins, before her marriage, Missis
sippi paper remarks: "There will be a very
general feeling of sympathy in the South for
this afflicted lady. During the war she resided
at Vcksburg, Miss, as friend in the family
of Mr.. Lum, prominent citizen of that place.
Her maiden name was Hurlburt, if we remem-
Der correctly. She was greatly admired and
respected by all of the Confederate officers
who were visitors of the house. Pleasant and
winning in manner, the charms of her society
and her manifold courtesies and kindness to all
of them will be remembered by those who
were among the many who were cheered by
her kindness and elegant hospitality. Among
the throng of her admirers was brave young
officer belonging to Withers's battalion of ar
tillery, G. S. A, who awakened deeper feel
ing than friendship in her who was doomed to
hear of his death out on the lines shortly
afterward, during the last memorable siege.
When General Grant, with the late General
Rawlins as chief of staff, entered Vicksburg,
Mr. Lum's house was occupied. Here it was
she met her late husband, who, touched by her
great worth and charming qualities, subse:
auently offered himself and was accepted. All
the Southern officers who were at Vicksburg
will bear testimony to the undertaking courtesy
of General Rawlins in his intercourse with
them, and his afflicted widow will now have
their heartiest sympathy in her great bereave
ment."
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

"When men break their hearts, " remarks
cynical female writer, 1t is the same as when
a lobster breaks one of its claws-another
sprouting out Immediately and growing in Its
place"
"The blessed man that preached for us last
Sunday" said Mrs. PartingtOn, served the
Lord for thirty years-frst as a clrcus-rlder.
then as locust preacher, and at last as an
eXhauster."
A New York letter writer says there is a man
in that city who claims to be l04 years of age
and who asserts that he takes sixty grains OF
opium day.
Says Kate to her new husband, John,
what rock does true love split upOnY'
QUoth John, and grinned from ear to ear,
the rock of yonder cradle, dear.
Josh Billings says: whenever | find a
real handsome woman engaged in wimmln
rights bizzness, then | am going to take my
hat under my arm and jine the procession.
Small Bore: What nuisance it is standing
near the piano. One can scarcely hear ones
partner speak. Cruel Young Lady prefer
! it on that account. q Ji
| A Judge in one Of the western States has
decided that fence, to be lawful, must be horse
high, bull strong and pig tight.
The principal occupation of "the girl of the
period is said to be to sit at her window and
watch for "the coming man."
What is the difference between charity and
and tailor? The first covers multitude Of
sins; the latter multitude of sinners.
In the language of flowers. if you wish for
heart ease, never look to marry gold"
! Working for Bare Life-Making clothes fol
young baby.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A man in Amhert, Massachusetts lost his
wife some months ago, and Immediately after
the funeral married her sister. The new wife
was sent into New Hampshire to remain until
the husband secured work, when he was to
send for her. He went to Salem, was smitten
with one of its damsels and married her. The
banished wife got tired of waiting, hunted up
her recreant lord, found him living with the
Salem woman, and entered complaint for his
arrest. Meantime the man removed to Am
herst when, at religious meeting, he con-
fessed his guilt, and added to it by saying that
he was never married to the Salem woman, but
had some one to perform the ceremony who
had no legal right to do so
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06
POPULAR SMILES.

As wet as fish-as dry as bone,
AS live as a bird-as dead as a stone;
As plump as partridge-as poor as rat
As strong as hOrSe-as weak as a cat
As hard as a f1int-as soft as a mole,
AS white as a lily-as black as a cOal
As plain as a pipestem-as rough as bear,
AS tight as drum-as free as the air;
As heavy as lead-as light as feather,
As steady as time-as uncertain as weather /;
As hot asan oven-as cold as a frog,
As gay as lark-as sick as dog;
As slow as a tOrtoise-as swift as the wind,
As true as the Gospel-as false as mankind
AS thin as a herring-as fat as a pig,
As proud as a peacOck-as blthe as grig
As savage as tigers-as mild as a dove,
AS stiff as pOker-as limp as glove;
AS blind as bat-as deaf as post,
As cool as a cucumber-as warm as a toast;
AS fiat as a hounder--as round as a ball,
As blunt as a hammer-as sharp as an awl /;
AS red as ferret-as safe as the stocks,
AS bold as thiet-as sly as fox;
AS straight as an arrow-as crooked as bow
AS yellow as safron-as black as a crow
As brittle as glass-as tough as a gristle,
AS neat at my nail-as clean as whistle:
As good as feast-as bad as a witch,
As light as is day-aS dark as is pitch;
AS brisk as bee-as dull as an ass,
AS full as tick--as solid as brass
As lean as greyhound-as rich as jew,
And ten thousand SMILES equally new.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

How FAR Down THE DIVER May Co.
The greatest depth to which a diver can des-
cend with the greatest appliances in safety, IS
about one hundred and sixty feet, and for this
a bunch of hundred weights must be disposed
about his person. The average depth at which
he can work comfortably is about ninety feet,
which was near the depth at which the opera
tions upon the royal George were conducted.
In the water from sixty to seventy feet deep,
the men can work for two hours at time, COM
ing up for ten minutes rest and doing days
work of six or seven hours. An English diver
encased in one Of Siebe's dresses, went down
in the Mediterranean to depth of one hundred
and seventy five feet, and remained there for
twenty-five minutes and we have heard that
Green, the American diver, inspected a wreck
in one Of the Canadian lakes, at the depth OF
one hundred and seventy feet; but his expe-
rience was enough to convince him that he
could not work on it without danger of life.
At this depth the pressure Of the water on the
hands is so great as to force the blood to the
head and bring on fainting fits, while the re-
quisite volume of air inside the dress to resist
the outward pressure of the water is so great
that it would speedily suffocate. Means have
been tried to obviate these difficulties, but tol
the present limit has been set to the exten
| to which man may penetrate the secrets OF the
deep. An ingenious Italian workmen ha
| brought to England q sort of armOr dress
which would resist the pressure OF water; bu
our submarine engineers think that this woulC
not obviate the difficulties arising from tn
limits placed to human endurance. ScientJi
| American.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Kentucky is the largest whisky producing
State in the Union, and Pennsylvania next.
The largest whisky drinking State is not re-
ported probably New York.
An energetic and enterprising resident OF
five years, and his undertaken serves him at
reduced prices on account of his being regu-
lar customer
Recently girl in Virginia married the mar
of her choice after he had received SIX years
sentence to the penitentiary, she furnishing
him suit Of clothes and paying the minister
Agassiz says that had he not coaxed hi
father to give him three years more study, ne
would have been to-day nothing but
| banker"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Thurlow Weed is writing his autobiography
for the New York Commercial AdvertistT, of
which he is the editor. Here is brief pas
sage, which is not without interest "While
working for Col. William l.. Stone, in the office
of the Herkimer American, in the winter OF
1878, 1 became acquainted with bright in
telligent German boy, whose name, sfter
lapse of fifty-seve years, is universal house
hold world, and whose face is familiar to every
man, woman and child in our country. He was
the son of German clergyman, who preached
| in that language to German congregations, and
resided q couple of miles outside Of the village.
The boy, then about twelve years old, attend
| ing an English school in the village, was very
! fond of newspaper reading, and came every day
to the printing office to read and to borrow, for
night reading at home, our exchange papers.
| / was more particularly interested In him per-
haps from the circumstance that in the mourn
ings he brought notes from, and in the evening
carried responses to young lady visiting 9
married sister who resided near his father
house, and who six years afterwards became
nv wife. That German boy subsequently rep
resented the Herkimer District in Congress
and is now the Treasurer of the United State
l-Francis Z. Spinner"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

COMMISSIONER DELANO ON THE NATIONAL
FINANCES. Commissioner of Internal
Revenue, Mr.. Delano, has made fattering ex-
hibt of the revenue and national finances In a
speech he delivered at Harrisburg. Although
figures on large scale can be made often
to represent whatever those who work them up
want-and this is a common practice of politi-
cians-there can be no doubt that Mr.. Delano' S
statement is fair one. The facts are no less
astonishing than gratifying. He shows that
within little less than four years the govern
ment has paid off eight hundred millions of
floating debt. We suppose, however, that a
large portion of this was paid by the proceeds
of loans previously authorized. But besides
this, about three hundred millions of the re-
corded debt has been paid. That's, according
to Mr.. Delano, the audited debt has been
reduced from twenty hundred millions, as
it stood in the spring of 1865, to twent-four
| hundred millions. As a test of the efficient
collection of the revenue and management o.
the finances BY General Grant administration
he shows that the total receipts from the in
ternal revenue, for the first quarter of the pres
ent fiscal year, amount TO more than ten mil
lions over the receipts of the same period lasi
year. This he attributes to better admins
tration of the laws under General Grants gov
ernment. He thinks the internal revenue will
yield the current fiscal year hundred and sew
enty- five millions or more without increasing
the taxes, and that at the rate the income o
, the government is swelling over the expendi
lures hundred millions year of the debt ca
be liuuidated With such an exhibit and sue
prospect the Commissioner argues that th
: national debt will be paid, and that after all
is not very formidable burden to this ric
and prosperous country.-N T. Herald.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06
POetTV.
IrT THE PAST BE PAST.

~
We will not harp upon the ills
Forever from US gone;
n who would wish to bring them back
Then let them all alone!
rbere is enough of present woe
For every one to last;
rrr hope is in the future now,
And let the past be past
We will not sit with downcast eyes.
And say I'VE might have seen,"
Nor fold our hands all hopelessly,
And moan " what might have BEEN"
There Is enough of good and i'll
For every one to last;
Our hope is in the future now
Wen let the past be past
We will not doat upon our griefs,
And count them one by one,
Asf above all others we
Had cares and sorrows knownl
There IS enough of present woe
For every one to last
Well look out on the future now
And let the past be past
We will not mid our blessings sigh
"Our neighbor has the most "
Nor cast our eyes back yearninglyl
On gifts of our folly lost.
There is enough Of good and i'll
For every one to last
Our hore is in the future now
Well let the past be past
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

"THE CHURCH OF CHRIST. THE branch of
tbisrelipious denomination in the New England
States recently held its annual Convention in
Worcester Massachusetts,. The doctrines of
this BODY of believers as professed in New
England do not differ materially from those of
other orthodox Churches. They simply adopt
tba New Testament for their only creed or
srt;cle of faith, and profess to endeayor by
their Iabors TO bring back the Christian profes-
sors r of this time to the faith and practice Of
& tbe apostolic times They reject the title OF
s Rev" for their preachers.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06


The WICKEDEsT MAN-Holo he Takes til
Death his Wfe-Mrs. Mary Allen, wife Of
John Allen, known as the Wickedest Man in
New York. died of dropsy, at her home in
Roosevelt street, on Saturday last. Her health
had been declining for some time, owing to
her habits of dissipation. The property
where her family resided is valued at about six
ty thousand dollars, and is the fruit of John
nineteen years of labor in the dance house bust
ness in Water street. The funeral took place
at the residence yesterday at II P. M. A
goody number of people were present, for most
Of Mrs. Aliens old dance. house friends had
come TO take the last farewell of their old COM
panion. Only five or six men were to be seen,
all the rest were girls and women. Three
Catholic priests had been in attendance up to
the time of her death The Rev. j. G. Arnold,
formerly superintendent of the Howard Mis-
sion, an old friend of the Allen family, was
present. A large proportion of the mourners
did not appear to manifest much grief for the
loss of an old friend. Some of the men and
women swore oaths, while others talked and
laughed as they had done so often on other oc-
casions. The Wickedest Man" took things
coolly, and just before the corps was removed
he went out and got drink. Many of the
women walked up to the coffin, gazed moment
| then bent over and kissed the face of the deaC
three times. Little Chester, boy OF abou
eight years, seemed deeply affected, and ht
could scarcely believe that he was never to SCI
his mother again in this life The husbant
kissed his dead wife for the last time, and thel
said ''There is the best friend ever had, ant
that is all | can do for her!" As the coffin wa
being taken down strairs he remarked: ''Sht
is going to the grave feet first" The buria
took place at Calvary Cemetery.-Ne,o Yor
Tribune of Tuesddy
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

That is sensible suggestion of an English
druggist who advises that every label Of ''pois-
on " should state also the most accessible anti
dote.
The Boston Post thinks that the lady in the
Woman's Rights movement who wears No. Ia
shoes should be selected to crush out all oppo-
sition.
To Remove Stains from your Character
| Get rich.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Mark Twain says of Henry Ward Beecher' $
farming experiences, that Beecher buys a pig
for 81 so, fattens him with $40 worth of corn,
and then sells him for 50. He makes money
too, for he expected to lose on the corn anyhow,
whilst he clears ST. 50 on the pig. In planting,
Mr.. Beecher's great trouble is that when he
puts in field of melons they will come up
pumpkins, whilst his sweet potato crop always
turns out to be "iniernalest carrots"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06
WHOLE NO. 1853

An old lady, recently, in Massachusetts
Court, before which she was brought as a wit
ness, when asked to take off her bonnet, OBJ
stinately refused to do so, saying:
There no law compelling woman to take
off her bonnet.
"Ohl" imprudently replied one of the
Judges, You know the law, do you? Per-
haps you would like to come up and sit here,
and teach us?"
mo, thank you, sir" said the woman,
tartly, there are old women enough there
now"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A Domestic romance comes from New York.
Twenty two years ago couple were married,
had one son, lived together ten years, and then,
after loosing all their property, procured di-
vorce. The woman married again, and got q
fortune the husband didn't, and remained
poor. And now that the woman has become a
rich widow, she has REMARKED her first hus'
hand
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A story is told of a gentleman who lost his
wife, and was inconsoabe. A few days after
her death he was invited to 80 out on shoot
ing expedition ''My grief is to fresh" he re-
piled; "she has only been dead eight days. "
short pause. 9" How early shall ycu start ?"
{" Six clock in the morning. viii you go ?"
e." Yes, will join you but l will not shoot"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A California Chinaman having been shown
by his mistress how to make pudding con-
tanning three eggs, but having seen her throw
one bad egg away, continued tor months after,
whenever he made the pudding, to use four
eggs, regularly breaking examining and throw
ing one aWav as he had seen her do.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Beecher says that men confess everything
but their own besetting sins. They steer clear
of these. Who ever heard a man say, 90,
Lord | am proud as Lucifer humble me-
OF. 80, Lord am SO mean and stingy that
make me generous.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A four-year-od saw his parents preparing for
church, and asked them to take him along with
them. He was told that he was too little, and
must wait till he should grow bigger. "Well,"
returned he you'd better take me now, for
when get bigger may not want to go" The
parents saw the point; he was taken.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Miss Lucy Lee advertises in Mississippi
paper that she "i is OF good birth and education,
and is willing to marry an editor, believing her
self able to support one" We don't know of
any person in these United States who is more
the next few weeks than Miss lucy Lee.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

The Louisville Courier Journal has found
that the gay bellies and beaux of that city use
their prayer-books for mediums Of gossip and
Irritation, and suggests that states be attached
to each pew, and the sexton be feed to moisten
the sponges each Sabbath ere service.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

The Newburyport Herald thinks it time for
" strike" in the lecture business and adds :
Zone or two hundred dollars COR an hour 5
talk about reform, woman rights, female suf
frage, and the like, is what Poor Richard
terms paying dear for the whistle. The profes,
sors of the Academy of Science. at Salem, will
furnish lectures of real value upon scientific
subjects, at less than quarter of the money,
and forty times as good.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Paper petticoats having come into fashion,
the following advertisement thereof appears in
in England; " Madame Percale begs leave to
call the attention OF ladies about to visit the
seaside to her new and richly embroidered pa
per petticoats at one shilling each. Each pet
ticOat contains an instalment of new novel of
great domestic interest, by Anthony Trollope,
entitled Tucks or Frills' The story will be
complete in fifty weekly petticoats.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

i N oy the news from the Gold Room,
dSmtL Lus Democrat says that the West
| conn., ,a must be emancipated from financial
u emsa ema,siclal dependence upon New York.
thronssbac patton, it thinks, would be effect.
he M M;tn tne removal of the national capital
i asssslppi Valley. Five years after
Sagu "ne' ' It says, St. Louis, Cincinnati,
pn X, aaa New Orleans would care no
X l,sua sae |; ;anties'of gold gamblers in New
seu - ptney now do for the doings OF
@ Fosters Island"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

The following conversation was overheard
the other day:
"Ah Jones, how are you? Where have
you been?'
q just returned from Smiths funeral"
"You don't say--have a good timer
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

The New Orleans Times says that some time
ago among the susceptible swans Of Vicksburg
was young man named Montgomery, who had
a sort of mixed passion for the MUSES. and
certain miss As might be expected he pour
ed fourth his soul in song, and sent his verses
to the fair one. But his verses were sent back,
with the following curt Endorsement:
Montgomcry-Mon ntgomcri-
What poetry What poetri
Try it again; try it in prose;
How you'll succeed, God only knows !"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

Two former French schoolmasters met after
a lapse of years
$50 you are married, VietOrine?"
"Yes."
"Happy"
"Ohl yes, perfectly happy"
You have children of course?"
"No; you know our lodgings are so smallP'
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A man has just been liberated from tie
Michigan State Prison, after two years So
journ there, who was innocent of the crime
for which he was sentenced. He was charged
with stealing, and in order to save the reward
to his family he confessed what he had never
done
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A traveller in England observed a man at
work, and seeing he was taking it remark kably
easy, remarked: . My friend, you don't APP
pear to sweat any"
"Why, no master, six shillings week amt
sweating Wages"
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

IN recent occasion of the leg-drama being
administered to sedate town IN OHIO, the
padded and painted beauties were heoted s from
t;np an indecent exhibition. e 0
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06

A little girl in Laporte, Indiana, recently
purchased copy of Webster unabridged pic
torial dictionary, costing twelve dollars, with
two hundred and forty fve-cent nickels, which
she had boarded up for the purpose.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06
THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE SUEz CANAL

THE Construction OF THE SUEz CANAL
Whether or not the idea of the Suez Canal
originated with Pharaoh, Napoleon l. acted
upon it, and actually had survey made, when
it was reported that there was a difference Of
thirty feet in the level of the two seas; and for
that and other reasons the project was abandon
ed, and lay dormant until about 1854 upon
the 2Ouh of November of which year the con-
tract between the Egyptian government and
the "COmpagnie UniverSelle du Canal Mari
time de Suez" was signed. Its duration is
ninety-nine years from the day of the opening
of the canal for traffic. The Egyptian govern
ment is to receive fifteen per cent. of the net
profits, and holds large proportion of the
company's bonds Egypt conceded to the
company all the lands which might be irrigated
by the fresh-water canal, and in 1868 bought
back its own concessions for sum equal to ten
millions of dollars.
| On the lst of January, 1869, there were at
work eighty-fve hundred men. These men
are obliged by the Egyptian government to
work on the canal, but are paid by the compa-
ny at the rate of two francs per day. The en-
gines for dredging are sixty in number. Each
cost two hundred thousand dollars in gold. The
expenses amount to one million dollars in gold
per month, and the work has already absorbed
forty millions of dollars. 1t is said that the
rates of toll are to be ten francs per ton. The
company is private one, and has not beer
publicly recognized or assisted by the French
government.
With regard to the rocks, the calms and tn,
tortuous channels of the Red Sea, which con
stitute the chief obstacles to the use of the ca
nal by the larger class of merchantmen, plan
have already been elaborated in England, wit
a view to the building of class of vessels suit
ed to this trade, and carrying each suficier
steam-po to assist her through the cana
and down the Red Sea. For the dispatch O
will be Immediately available; and although
;. will take time to conquer English prejudice
and predictions, yet in time the bulk of tn
India trade must come this way.-Fron1 Il
October number Of Lippincott's Magazine.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-06
HAVOC.

HAVOC.
Charles, eating ancient cheese, did say,
Like Sampson, I my thousands slay
81 vow," quoth David, so you do,
And with the SeIfsanoe ,ceapon too !"