Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1869-11-26
8Mmprons.
JOSH Killings PAPERS.
Puddin and MIX.

LOF IL seq 10 De Dnndj but kno lots Nv
phellows in love who kan see twice as much
in their gals az kan.
The miser IL a riddle. What he possesses
he haint got, and what be leaves behind him
he never.had.
Good phisick IL like fiddle, furnishes the
tuue, while nature cuts the pigeon wing and
cures the patient.
Caution tho very often wasted, IL a good
risk to take.
Pity IL about the meanest wash that one
man can offer another. had rather have
ten dollar greenbaek that had been torn in
two twice and pasted together, than tew have
all the pity thare IL on the upper side ov the
| earth-pity Is nothing more than quiet sat.
isfacshun that I am great deal better oph
than you am, and that intend to keep so.
Fortune IL ike coquette, if you don't run
after her she viii run after you.
Did you ever hear very rich man sing?
Ifi was goin to paint picktur of Faith,
Affection and Honesty, would paint mi dog
loOkiu up in my face and waggen his tail.
The devil IL q mean kuss; he never keeps
hiz own promises, but always makes us keep
ours.
Truth IL az artless az child, and az pur-
swasiye
There IL nothing in this life that men pay
SO bi price for az they do for repentance.
Laws are made, customs grow-laws hav
tew be executed, customs execute themselfs
Jaws begin where customs end
Men who hav a good deal tew say, use the
fewest words.
Punning IL nothing more than mimickry;
the best punster now living IL a monkey; he
makes pun on louise forty times day bi
SCRATCHING hiz head.
The read to wealth IL a highway, but the
road to knowledge IL bYeway.
Shame IL the dieing embers of virtew.
don't know ov a better kure for sorrow
then tew pity somebody else.
Experience IL a grindstone, and it IL lucky
for US if we kan git frightened by it, not
ground.
We shouldn't forgit one thing, that thare
IL not a single fee simple on this fut.stool;
even the best tooth in our he'd may fall to
aking before sunset aud hev to be jerked out.
Ignorance IL the wet nuss ov prejudice.
Anticipation IL constantly nibbling expekt-
ed pleasure until it consumes it, iiss so the
skool boy who visits his basket during the
forenoon too often, has alreddy discounted
his dinner.
/ never knu man troubled with melaukol-
ly who had plenty to dew and did it.
Good breeding, az understand it, IL Civ
ing every man hiz due, without robbing your
self
Nature IL jist az honest az COW.
Talk little, but listen out loud, yung men,
Il the way tew make the company suspect
you-i mean suspect yu oy showing a CRATE
deal more than yu aktually do.
If you should reduce the wants ov the peo-
pie oy Nu York city down tew aktual neces.
sitys, and plain comforts, yu would hav tew
dubble the perlice force tew keep them from
committing suicide.
People when they find fault with theirselfs,
are generally more anxious tew be consoIed
than forgiven, and therefore, when man be-
gins tew confess hiz sins tew me and sez,
there ain no hope for him. tell him he
ought tew kno awl about it. and / guess IL
more than half right
What the world wants IL good examples.
not SO much advice; advice may be wrong,
but examples prove themseIfs
Pride IL bogus. Adam at one time had a
right to be proud, but he let sin beat him out
OF hiz birthright.
A growing hen and eackling ruster are
very misfortunate poultry in family.
As ginral thing the man who marrys
woman ov more uppercrust than himself will
End the woman more anxious tew preserve
the distance between them than tew bring
him up tew her grade or go down tew his
level.
Titles are valuable; they make US acquaint.
ed with menuy persons who otherwise would
be lost among the rubbish.
Peace IL the soft and holy sbader that vir-
tew casts.
Habits are like the wrinkles on mans
brow, if yu viii smooth out the one will
smooth out the other.
II IL darned sight easier lew find six men
who kan tell exactly how a thing ought to be
did than one who will do it.
Marrying for money is meauer way tew
git it than counterftting.
Dispatch IL taking time bi the ears-Hurry
IL taking it bi the end ov the tail.
The miser who heaps up gains tew gloat
over IL like hog in pen fatted for a show.
-Nsle York WeelIv