The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-10-01

An extraordinary locality-the To-
eality where the Dead Sea.
Drunkenness is an egg from which
all vices may be Matched:
Why was Noah never hungry in the
ark? Because he always had Ham
with him.
Sal, what time do you folks dine?"
Soon as you gOesi that's missus's
orders
When is young mans arm like
the Gospel? When it maketh glad
the waist places,
When you hear man say Life is
but dream" tread on his cOrns and
wake him up. Life is real.
There is a young lady in this city
80 weary particular about her COM
pany that sire won't wear low shoes.
An exchange has an advertisement
for q servant who is plain cook,
able to dress a little bog five years
old"
A dandy inquired at fruit stand.
Are re, those ih100se apples ut toE,, a hog to
eat?" Try one and see" said the
woman.
Prayer is no eloquence, but earnest
ness; not Of helplessness, but the
feeling of it; not figures of speech,
but compunction of soul.
A white boy met colored lad the
other day and asked him what he had
such a short nose for. Il specs so it
vv0D1k rnl-o 1Eeolf into cha, yooO1oto
business"
Tom asked an old ten per cent
what he wanted to accumulate so
much money for. Says he, you
can't take il With you when you die,
and if you could it would melt"
a person speaking of drink he
once had OCCASION to indulge in, says
he could not tell whether il was
brandy or a torehlight procession
that was going down bis throat.
Prisoner, you have heard the
complaint for habitual drunkenness
what have you to say in your de-
tenceY" Nothing, please your Honor,
but habitual thirst"
A young man who was crossed in
= love attempted suicide recently by
taking dose of yeast powder. He
Immediately rose above his troubles
like a well-breS gentleman.
What is truth?" The question
was proposed at a deaf and dumb
asylum, when one of the boys drew a
straight line. And what is false
hood?" The answer was a crooked
line.
A traveller stopped at an inn In a
neighboring village, and finding the
landlord and landlady fighting, cried
out: Halo, who keeps this house ?''
The wife replied: That's just what
we are trying to decide"
Our character as sinners leads into
the sweetest intimacies of the Lord Of
life and glory. As creatures, we know
the strength of His hand, His wisdom
and goodness, but as all the treasures
of His grace and glory.
"a correspondent at Clinton, Iowa,
sends US this: An Irishman in our
employ gave birth to the following
bull: 'Jabers, Tommy, if live till /
die, aud l dunno if / will or no, i
want to see ould ireland again before
l lave Clinton"
Mike, can you account for the ex-
traordinary curve in this horses
back 2"
Sure an 1 can, Sir. Before the
haste was your property she was
backed ag'in an Irish horse that bate
her all hollow, and she never got
straight since"
A gentlemen observing a servant
girl, who was left handed, placing the
knives and forks on the dinner-table
in the same awkward position, re.
marked to her that she was LAYING
them left handed.
"Oh, indade," said she, so [ have
Be plased, Sir, to help me turn the
table round"
An invincible wit and punster asked
the captain of craft, loaded with
boards, how he managed to get din.
ner on the passage. Why, replied
the skipper, I'VE always cook aboard
Cook board, do yOu1" reiolned tht
wag. Then I see you have been vel
1np'ed Nlth provisions this trip, a