The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-05-22
A KINGLY GROWN.
From tie y. \. Tribunc.


1t is rather a remarkable a. j! is undoubtedly
an encouraging circumstance, that though we
have had, since the foundation OF the republic
great number OF secret political societies, from
the Cincinnati down to the IT. {. !. O." yet
none of them have had the slightest influence
upon either the policy or the form of the Govern
ment. The american party, held together by
Il system of lodges, promised wonders, but in
the end Gid nothing, in spite OF its numbers.
The tour mysterious initials above cited are said
to represent Il new cOnglOmeration of dull and
disatteCted ctiZens-accOrding to their news
paper organ, "a secret political and social order
They aim al "a strong central government" and
in order to secure it, by-and-by, when the right
hour strikes "Onc strong-minded, intelligent
man is to declare himself the government, and
the 'H. {. l. o. will owe no other allegiance
than that demanded by the crown or
course, the strOng-mindcd man, when he
gets the crown, will make it hereditary. We
shall have also a Queen, "strong-minded' or
otherwise. as the gods maydCternine Weshall
have a Prince Royal, or Dauphin. We shall
have dukes of the blood. 1t follows that we
shall also have the Duke Of Massachusetts, the
Marquis of New York the Earl of Pennsylvania,
the Baron of Virginia, hundreds of Baronets,
thousands of knights, tens of thousands OF Right
HOnOrables, with SQuirCarChy not to be num-
bered. All these noblcmen and gentlemen viii
be selected from the ranks of the II. {. /. O.,
and those who wish to come in for something
lofty and profitable had better enroll themselves
without GClav We do not believe that 'tle
OF so magnificent project. When THE
one strong-mindcd' has placed the pro-
per part Of his person upon the royal
stool, and the dadem upon his anOinted
brows-when lie has grasped the sceptre and
put on the regal robe and begun 10 sign him
self jonathan R.'-whcn that millennial dav
arrives, gentlemen who have not Joined the /.
c. |. O. will wish that they had. They will
probably organize another society Tor the a.
sassnatiOn or deposition OF Jonathan the
First and for raising TO the throne the dy-
nasty of Samuel Slick, ImperatOr.' But we
hereby give notice that the Tribune, taking for
| its motto the dying words of Mercutio, "a
| plague O both your houses will resOlutely
| advocate the assassination of the relgnlng
| monarch, and the transportation of all his
nobility 10 the territory of the Grand Duke OIL
| Pumpenickcl, or to the island once ruled over
! by Sancho PaRZa, if the tOpographers can find
! IT,. We enter our protest in advance. We put
| 1t upon record, much as we like strong
! minded characters, since it is possible 10 nave
! them little too strong, that shall not come
! into the arrangement We have a cOngenital
dislike OF kings, and but a small passion for en-
| perOrs. When the I. Z. !. O. carry out their
! sublime scheme we shall feel that the LORD has
/ delivered the land to the dominion of jacRasses
and we shall advocate with all our might the
cropping OF their ears, if not the cutting off ot
! their mclOdiOus heads The ct {. |. o." may
rest assured that we do not want them to rule
! over u.s. that we will not stand the game II they
attempt it; and our advice TO them is to turn
! their clubs INTO Temperance Societies, or SO"it-
ties of Red Men, of Ancient Foresters, of Good
Samaritans something of that sort. They
/ can then wear hOrsc-COllars and little aprons
/ without endangering the foundations OF the uni
| verse.
These ardent conspiratOrs, no doubt, have al
| ready "astrong-minded, intelligent man in view
| for whom the diadem is reserved. If Mr.. An
! drew johnson has not been determined upon, We
/ beg leave to recommend him. After a careful
| study OF his character, we think we find in II
! many of the qualities by which a number OF
! monarchs have been distinguished He is con-
| yivial, and so was Alexander the Great; he is
| fond OF having his own way, and so was julius
! Caesar; he is decidedly obstinate and so was
! George the Third; he is somewhat egotistical,
! and so was Napoleon the First he has all those
peculiarites which are considered to be virtues
| in kings and vices in their subjects. He has q
| royal presence, and when he stands upon the
| throne, with the crown on his head, with the
mantle OF royalty falling about him in graceful
folds, with the globe in one hand, the sceptre in
the other, and the Order of the Thistle cleaning
| upon his manly chest, he will present an appear
ance which should really be pcrpetuated in wax
work, to be carried about the country in van,
with hand-organ playing the most triumphal
music, and man at the door crying out con-
tinually, "Only ten cents!"
If king we must have and Mr.. johnson
should die before the time has come for making
him ANDREW Rex, we beg leave to put in a
good word for our old friend Train. George
and Francis are both well-known royal names.
We take il for granted that our George Francis
has joined the ''T G. l. o." already, because
we never knew man to have such tremen-
dous genius as he has for joining anything
assimilation little short Of MIRACULOUS lie ~