The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1869-03-29

JoBh Bs1RinEB ON GrassnoppeES.
The srasshopper is o. bird of nusss. &c
kin lump further than emmy other nird NV
his ace and wait that Gums under the nea
NV mi rekollecshun. ,..a .;,d
The urasshopper is q nnalgunated bira;
Ha "a nart bird. and part quadrooped, ana
| nart 1ers- He is mostly the latter. his
bebiud iers is longer than his be LEGS,
and thew are brawder and wider ana
stronger and more devellupped like. 10 ms
eredif be IL sed, his legs are seldum USED
FOR kickin purposes. They aretoo Vaio 90 y
as . means Of locomoshun. $50.
Natnr. in his wiedum, has pervided the
qrasehopper with wings on each elde
nv his boldly. Theas are nv CRATE servls .
him when he wants 2 to. convert Nv his
hops in 2 general 81. Heis sorin ami
null and singin bird likewise. l can't
edzactly make up mi mind whether he
sores as he sings, or sings as he sores but
on the whole I think he duz. "
Grseshoppers is NV g kinds-male and
female. There arc sum other varities, but
tina are not menshuned in history, Tina
travel in regimentle order, and 8 hundred
deep, in medders and cow pastors and SIGN
places, and sum how or luther tina are al
ways goin the same way yew are, and man.
ege with pleasing sucksess to keep ahed OF
yew. 1@,.I
Grasshoppers is. most frequent in sum
mer. Tha seldum sta out late NV nights,
and do not cum around emmy in winter. Tha
are q summer fowl exclusively, and are o
sign Of grass.
/ have knoWed grasshoppers not yet out
of their teens that Good sore 8 feet high
purpendickerly, and hop 200 yards hori--
zontully, on q bright, bootiful day in JeWh,
for stamps. ,,,..,s
Inever seen ennybody yet but what dis
pied bed bugs. They are the meanest OF
aul crawling, creeping, hopping, or biting
things. -.
They dasent tikle o man by dalite, but
sneak in after dark and chaw him while he
IL fast asleep. , -,
A musketo will fife you in broad daiite
at short range, and give you fair chance
to knock in his sides-the flea il game
bug, and will make dash at you even IN
Broadway; but the bed-bug IL a garroter,
who waits till you strip, and then picks
out o mellow place tew eat you.
If was in the habit of swearing
wouldn't hesitate to cuss bed-bug rite teW
his face. ;,
Bed-bugs are uncommon smart in small
way, one pair of them will stock hair
mattress in two weeks with bugs enuff ten
last o small family for whole year.
It don't do emmy good to pray when ped,
bugs are in season the only way to get rid
Of them is to bile the whole bed in acqua
forts, and then heave it away and buy
new one.
Bed-brgs, when they have grone aul they
intend to, are about the size of o bluejay's
eye, and have brown complexion, and
when they start out to garrote are az o
greese-spot, but when they get thru gar
roting they are swelled up like blister.
1t takes them two days teW git the swell
ing out OF them.
If bed-bugs have any destiny to fill, it
must be their stummucks, but it seems
tcw me that they must have been made by
accident, just as slivVers are, teW stick
into sumboddy.
If they wuz got up for some wise pur-
pose, they must have took the wrong road,
for there kant be emmy wisdum in chawipg
man aul mite long, and raising family
besides to follow the same trade.
II there is some wisdum in aul this, l
hope the bed bugs will chew them folks
who kan see it, and leave me be, because l
am one of the hereticks.