The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-08-02
HUMOROUS.


great many"
Mammal said a precious little
boy, who against his will, was made to
rock the cradle of his baby brother,
IF the Lord has any more babies to
give away. don't.you take EN-"
Recently a rector of parish in
Toledo Ohio, In catechising his Sun
dy school, asked: Nv here did the
wise men come from p Without q
moments hesitation the answer came
from little fve-year old: From
.B0Si0R! The father and mother of
the little cateehumen are natives OF
the Bay State.
An ingenious New York mechanic
advertises that he manufactures
drums that cannot be beat.
The style no longer requires the
most fashionable lazy to change her
toilette more than twice a day at the
most gay and aristocratic resorts.
Shakespeare loved and wed farmers
daughter. She was faithful 20 her
vows. but we could hardly say the
same of the great bard himself Like
most Of the great poets, he showed
too little discrimination in bestoWing
his affection on the other sex.
Jim" has a percocious nephew, a
lad just three years old. Playing with
his kitten yesterday, Miss Kitten ''got
her back VI" about something kittens
as we'll as folks often get their
backs up), and scampered over the
floor. Little nephew was delighted,
and sang out, Look, ma, kittens got
q Grecian bendl"
Not long since a youth, older In wit
than years, after being eateehised con-
corning the power Of God, replied,
Ma, l think there's one thing God
can't do" What is it?" eagerly in
quired the mother. God can't make
Bill Jones's mouth any bigger without
setting his ears back.
Harry, you ought not to throw
away nice bread like that; you may
want it sOme day" Well, mother,
would l stand any better change of
getting it then If should eat it
noW?"
The Hartfort Times makes the fol-
lowing singular announcement: Per
sons troubled with eornscan find relief
by calling on DIR. SeIiger. Colt
band will be present and furnish
good music"
Said Lord John Russell to Mr..
Hume, at social dinner: "What do
you consider the object of legisla-
ton The greatest good to the grea-
test number p w hat do you consider
the greatest numberH continued his
Iordship. Number one" was the
commoner's prompt reply. Mr.. Hume
had probably been reading Burnham's
history Of the Hen Fever"
A wording was once visited, in his
illness, by well-meaning but dol
cOuntenance and wore q face OF
perpetual mourning. AS his sad Wis
age appeared in the doorway, the sick
nan started up and exclaimed -
Why what's the matter with you?
You look as if your religion didn't
agree NTH yOuP' %
The editor of the Waterbury
Conn. )Ansc ricaR telegra Pied the 9TH
re day to Col. A. IL. Fem, at Ply
mouth: Send US full particulars Of the
flood" Fem replied: You'll find
them in Genesis. -
Rev. Moses Clampit, an eccentric
preacher, was holding forth at Santa
Clara Wiley; young man rose to go
out, when the preacher said: Young
man, If you'd rather 60 to hell than
hear me preach, you may" The SIN
ner stopped and reflected moment,
and then saying respectfully, We'll, /
believe / would, went On.
ANECDoTE OF JEFFERSON THE
THIRD.-J efTerson the Third was too
improvident and careless in business
matters to succeed in infringement.
This hereditary misfortune, which at
last bad the effect Of closing his
Washington theater, was offset by the
most eomplacent acceptation In the
world. The day after his failure In
Washington a personal friend called
at Jeferson's house to offer con-
dolenee, He was informed that Mr..
Jefferson had gone out fishing.
Troubled with an apprehension lest
Jefferson, overcome by his losses, had
resolved to do away with himself, the
friend went IN search of him. He
found the eX-manager quietly reclin-
ing on the banks of the Brandywine
his sketch book lying open at his side
Luu his upu1u2-IOu 5lTGEcQ6u Oul
over the water.
why, Jefferson" asked the friend
in surprise, 3" how can you devote
yourself to the pleasures of art when
your recent misfortunes ought to be
driving you to the verge of dispairP
"Confound it, old boyl'' was the an
swer: / have lost everything, and an
so poor. as a consequence, that can
even afford to let anything trouble
me. From JOSEPH JEFFERSON, a
the August number of LippincoH'
Magazine.