Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-08-20

= Tt is estimated that there are 20C
gamblers in Omaha.
f Kansas papers claim that the pop
ulation of that State will reach $50,
- 600 next year.
= A tombstone in the cemetery at
Dixon, H., bears the suggestive in
scription, "Gone up"
- A new weekly religious paper is
about to be started in Chicago by the
reunited Presbyterian church.
| A man was arrested in Brooklyn a
few days ago for praying too loud
and disturbing his neighbors.
, Never wait for thing to turn up.
Go and turn it up yourself. 1t takes
less time and is sure to be done.
, A Tennessee paper accuses an OPP
? ponent of "lying UNANIMOUSLY, hell
ishly and with forty -devil power
John Randolph once said, II have
found the philosophers stone. 1t is,
pay as you go, sir, and be paid as you
go"
Thirty children from the Little
Wanderers Home In Boston, have
found permanent homes in good Cal
iforEia families.
Sheridan is said to have once given
the following humorous description
Irishman-a machine for converting
potatoes into human nature.
a pet chicken entered jewelry
store in Minnesota the other day, in
the absence of the proprietor, and
gobbled down the inside works of q
watch.
Iron car3 will soon succeed wooden
cars, just as iron ships lave succeeded
wooden ones. They will carry one
fourth more freight, and are twice as
safe from breakage, fire, etc.
A correspondent praising the hard
ihood of some lady travellers in the
Yo Semitic Valley says they burst
their conventionalitics.' We hope
he discreetly looked the other way.
Somebody says that Mrs. Stanton
is the salt, Anna Dickinson the pep
per, and Mrs. Anthony the vinegar
Of the Woman's Rights salad. We
would prefer lettuce aIone.-NctU Or
teams Times.
Choate wishing to compliment
Chief Justice Shaw, exclaimed,
"When | look upon the venerable
Chief Justice Shaw, | am like a
Hindoo before his idol. l know that
he is ugly, but | feel that he is great"
Michigan hens are tough. A farm
er lately cut off the head of pullet
which lived nevertheless until the
next cay ana survived q second de-
capitation three hours. She did not
lay her regular egg after lo0sing her
head, however, which is n great
drawback.
The following notice was posted on
a large box, which passed over one of
the great through lines of railroad II
few days since: Baggage smashers
are requested to handle this box with
care, rs it contains nitro glycerine,
Greek fire, gun cotton and two live
gorillas? 2" The box was not broken.
1t is said that when Lord Byron
sent to his wife the well-known
touching lines
Fare thee we'll! And il forever,
Still forever, fare thee Welt"
He enclosed in the same envelope a
grocer's bill, with Il penciled remark,
"Please look over this; | don't think
we had so much cheese
Mrs. Cross, widow, and owner of
considerable property at Chester,
Wabashaw county, Minnesota, has
collared and thrown an emergency.
Last week she was called upon to
furnish hand to work out her road |
tax. She promptly replied that she
would do it herself, and she was as
good as her word.
On Tuesday some wag put pla-
card on the portico Of the White
House, containing in big letters TIE
words, ITO let for four years to q
permanent tenant" The "perma-
nent" was capitalized. The placard
occasioned great merriment to pass
ers, and remained undsturbed for
nearly an hour,
A California Chinaman having
been shown by his mistress how to
make pudding containing three
eggs, but having seen her throw one
bad egg away, continued for months
after, whenever he made the pudding
to use four eggs, regularly breaking,
examining, and throwing one away,
as he had seen her do.
They have ghost III Meadville,
Pa, who seems to be very quarrel
some and low-minded. He is the
spirit of railroad engi-
neer named Spencer, who was killed
on the road some time since. He
hovers around the place where his
engine used to stand and throws
brickbats at those who pass.
"How much money have you?"
said rich old curmudgeon to q gay
young fellow counting his pretty
daughter. "Oh! I haven't much of
anything now, but have very rich
prospect, indeed" The wedding oc-
Cured, and the old chap learned
from his fine on-in-law that the rich
prospect was the prospect OF marry
ing his daughter.
A stranger observing all ordinary
roller.rule on the table, took it up,
and on inquiring its use, was answer
ed at is a rule for contingencies"
Too well bred, as he construed polite
ness, to ask unnecessary questions,
he turned it over and over, up and
down repeatedly, and in paroxysm
Of baliled curiosity, inquired: "How
in the name of wonder do you count
houses with this?"