The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-04-02
Masonry Exposed.
BY A VICTIM.

BY VICTIM.
| have Just Joined the Masonic fraternity.
| am free and accepted son or brother,
or Whatever it is, of that ancient and
mysterious organization. | have belonged
to many secret societies in my time l
have been an Orangeman, and Son of
Temperance, and Feuian and if [ re-
member Alright, | once belonged to "a gang
of coinerS but this Masonic arrangement,
this institution of the compass aud square,
distances them all. ! must tell you OF the
periIs aud trials | had to undergo TO be-
cone Mason. On the evening in ques
ton presented myself at the door of the
lodge room, No. G6 666, sign of the skull
and cross bones. | was conducted to an
ante room where five or six melancholy
CHAPS in sashes aud embroidered napkins
were waiting to receive me- On my en-
trance they all got up aud turned back
somersault, and then resumed their seats
\ big fellow WHO seemed to be proprietor,
then said :
Sinner from the outer world, ad~
vance -. | advanced. viii you give
up everything to join US "
-" Not if l know it," said " there's S
my wife and fourteen fine"
Another party told me to say " Yes" as
it was merely matter of form. So | said
d" Yes, give up everything.
The fellows in the towels then groaned,
and said IT'S well" Z" Do you swear
never to reveal anything you may see or
hear this evening to any human being, nor
your wife ?"
[ said, " Pom my word, I will not"
They then examined my teeth, and felt
my muscle. and made me put out my
tongue, aud then e.oaneG again. l said :
If you don't feel well have -got
little bottle here that----'
The fat man hero took the Eottle from
me and told me to shut up. He ten In
voice Of thunder. said
Bring forth the goat
Another fellow then came up with big
cloth to bind ME
- No you don't, Mr. Mason said !;
- no tricks on travellers, if you please |
don't believe in playing blind mans buff
with goat. III ride the devil, if you like,
but don't 90 in blind. Stand band, Or
III knock you into sHithereens "
They were too much for ME however so
[ had to submit to be bhndiulded. The
goat was then led in, and could hear him
making an awful racket among the furni-
ture | began to feel that | was urgently
wanted at home; but I was in for it, and
could net help myself. Three or four fell
lows then scIzcd me, and with demoGacal
laugh pitched me on the animals back
telling me at the same time to look out for
,quals. have been in a good many
scrapes | hive been in an election fight /;
have been pit ched out of fourth story
window. | have 0 lne down in railroad
collision, and up in a steamboat explosion !;
but this little goat ez rui sion was ahead OF
them all. The coutouh ded thing must be
all wings and horns. 1t bumped NE
against the tables and the chars and the
stove aud the ceiling but | hurg on like
Trojan. | turned front som arsHults until
[ thought it was all over with .me. L was
just on the point 0! giving up When the
0andage fell from my eyes, and the goat
bounded through the window with a J'eIl
like Camauche Indian giving up the
-host. l was in lodge of Masons. They
were dancing war dance around a big
skull! aud playing leap frog, aud turning
hand springs, and the big tat fellow of the
autcsrocm was standing on his head in the
corner. The chlel engineer of the estab'
lishmcnt then put his thumb to his nose,
aud stretching ont bis finger in the shape
Of fan towards me, commanded silence
The rest Of the brethren did likewise, and
were silent. The Governor then addressed
me " Brother Knobb, you are now one
IF US. You are now member Of an in>
stitutiou tlat has lasted over ten million
yeals. From this time forward your con-
stitutiou is sound. You are water proof,
with impunity you may walk through the
lake, or sit on red hot stove, with impu
nifty drink aquaiortis, rye whiskey or other
poisonous substances. You are free from
rheumatism, dyspepsia. whooping cough or
the measles. The Sheriff dare not seize
you for debo, nor the policeman arrest you
for misdcmeanor. Hou are of us and you
are safe. Here is the password with that
and big club you can get into any lodge
in CLristendCm.
then took the oath on pack of cards,
stood the whiskey and water all around and
| was a Mason.
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