The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-06-10
WifticialnR.

are te.ncts.
Gold dust ID the least binding to the
eye of any sort.
WHY'S key like hospitai' Be-
cause it Is full Of wards.
The man who he ats drum for the
"March OF Time" has gone to play
on the "IIorn Of Plenty"
We knowa gentleman who won't 60
to the Opera because he says he gets
singing in his ears there! ."
"Do make yourselves at home, ladies
said lady one day to her visitors;
I'm at home myself and wish you all
were .sl. 1.1
What's the difference between water
and whisky? Men slip on the former
when it is frozen and the latter when 1t
isn't
A joker lately declared that blind
man, by taking something from the
breakfast table, recovered his sight,
What did he takeY He took tea-cup
and saucer (saw sir.
A lady OF certain age the reason
an old maid is generally so devoted to
her cat is that, not having a husband,
she naturally takes to the next most
treacherous animal.
A poor fellow rescued, half drown
cd, from the river was asked to take
some spirits and water. "No l thank
you,' replied he; 81 have had water
enough already. I'll take the spirits
alone"
We know naval captain who has
made heavy bet to take his gig across
the Atlantic to America People ridi-
Guile the idea; but why shouldn't it be
carried QUIT A Colum Bus went there
once.
A New York undertaken thu, CRATE
fully responds to friend who had
done him favor "If you ever want
coffin, call on me. / shall be most
happy to bury You and your family at
the lowest cost price"
"Now, then, sir" cried an angry bar
rister at dull witness, twill you tell
the jury which is the Oldest you oryoul
brother?' lie is the Oldest now but
i'll live three years longer We shall
both be Of the same age"
A piece of wanton cruelty was
committed the other day at o public
school, where the master command
ed one Of the boys to cudgel his own
brains for some trivial sentence. The
poor boy was compelled to do it.
The question, (which wants most
man or woman?," was recently discus.
sed in an uptown lyccum association.
Nothing definite was settled except
that some ofthe debators wanted brains
A rot jufrequent inGrmity of both sex.
es.
A drunken man walking along the
street at night with his head thrown
back looking at the moon with sover-
eign contempt, was heard to exclaim ::
"You NJ edn't be 80 proud Madame
Moon. You are fullonce a month and
| every night"
A young lady who prided herself on
her geography, seeing candle aslaDt,
remarked that it reminded her of the
Leaning Tower Of Pisa" EYES," res
pondel q wag, "with this difference {:
that is a tower in Italy while this is a
tower in grease"
A young gentleman, visiting his in
tended, met rival who was somewhat
advanced in years, and wishing to in
suit him, inquired how old hs was. 81
can't exactly tell. replied the other,
but l can tell you that an ass at twenty
is older than man at sixty"
A lecturer was dilating upon the
powers OF the magnet, detying any
one to show or name anything surpass
ing its powers. A nearer demurred,
and instanced Il young lady who used
to attract him thirteen miles every Sun
day.
Great applause has been bestowed
upon Rubens, because with one stroke
ofhis brush, he turned laughing child
into a crying one, in a painting but
many parent has turned child's ex-
preston from JOY to griet by single
stroke without ever getting credit for
it.
An absent minded youth astonished
the company during the lull in a con.
.ersation on ballooning, by the follow
ng: Suppose it should happen that
Mr.. Green should be carried away in
ais balloon so far from hence, as to have
70 descend on some uninhabited island
low it would surprise the nativesr'
PRISONERS are now permitted to tes-