Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1869-06-15
Josh BilIings, papers-rhe cote.


The cote is a koarse wollen sheep.
They have split hoof and q whole tail.
They have good appetite and san
guine digestion. :,
They swallo what they eat and will eat
ennything they kan bite.
Their moral karakters are not polished;
they had rather steal rotten turnip out
ov garbage box than tew cum honestly
bi pek ov otes.
The male cote has two horns on the
ridge cv his he'd, and mustssh on hiz
bottom lip, and iz the plug ugly of hiz
naberhood.
A maskuline cote will fte ennything
from an elephant down to hiz shadder on
ded wall.
They strike from their but end, insted
ov the shoulder, and are az likely tew' hit
az a hammer IL nailhed.
They are a hi seasoned animal, as
much so as pound ov assifidity.
They are faithful critters, and will sti ck
to friend az long az he lives in shantyT.
They kan kline ennything but greast
pole, and kno the way up rock az nat
uaal az a woodbine.
They are az certain to raise az yung
ones-some familys ere haff gotes and
the other haff children. They are coed
eating when they are yung, but they leave
it oph az they git stronger.
They are alwus poor in the boldly, but
phatt in the stumick-what they eat
seems to all go to appetight. You mite
az well agree tew phatt an ipjun rubber
overshoe bi filling it with klam shells az
tew raise emmy adipose membrane on the
outside bust ov cote.
A phatt cote would be literary Curl
osity.
They use the same dialekt as the sheep,
and yung ones speak the language more
fuently than the parents do.
There IL only tew animuls ov the earth
that will eat tobakko--one iz a man and
luther IL gote but the cote understands
it the most, for he swllers the spit, chaw
and ALL
The male cote, when he IL pensly, is o
venerable aud philosophic looking old
cuss, and wouldn't make a bad professor
NV arithmetick in sum ov our colleges.
They are handy at living q long time,
reaching an advanced age with out arriv-
ing at emmy definite konklusior,. :.
How long cote lives without giving 1t
up, there is no man now old enuf tew
tell.
Methuzeler, if hiz memory was bad at
forgetting, mite give good-seized guess,
but unfortunately for science and this
essa, Methuzeler aint here.
Gotes will live in emmy klimste, and on
emmy vittles, except tsnbark, and 1t they
ever cum to square death, it liz pro-
found sekret, in the hands of few, TO
this day.
wouldn't like tew beleave emmy man
under oath who had ever seen masku-
line cote acktually die, and say so.
Speaking of Methuzeler, puts me in
mind ov the fackt, if a man should liv
now daze az much az he did, and only
hav one eye tew see things with, he
would hav to hav an addishun built onto
the back ov hiz head tew sto away things
into
The female cote IL either the mother,
or sister, or cuzzin ov the male cote, ac-
kording tew the prevailing circumstansis
in the case, or else labor under delu-
sion, forgot witch.
They Civ milk intutively about quart,
before it liz watered, in twelve hours,
which IL the subjickt of nourishment, In
various ways.
This milk, witch IL extrackted from the
female cote, il excellent tew finish up
yung ones on, but is apt to make them
bellycose and fightful.
1t IL not uncommon for babe, while
inhsling this puguashus fluid, to let oph
his left coleckshun or digit and ketch
the nurse on the pir,aakle ov the smeller,
and tap it for clare'..
This iz komu ION fackt among Irish
babes, and expls ins the reason whi, in
after life, these same babes make such
brilliant hits.
In writing the history ov the male aud
female cote tew adorn the pages ov futer
times, fstter myself that hav stuck
tew the truth, aud haven't allowed mi
immaginashun tew boss the job.
A crate menny ov our best bilt histo'
rians are apt tew mistake opinyuns for
facss. This IL an eszy mistake to make,
but when strike goose, or bed bugg,
or cote, you notis one thing, stay with
IL