The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-03-07

A full purse never lacks friends.
Perpetual motion--2 ent and taxes, 4 gs's
The suitable cloth for winter--frfeze.
| What State IL high Ia the middle and
round at both ends z Ohio.
An early spring. jump ont of bed at
five o'clock In the morning.
A dead hen 10 better than a live ono, as
she will lay wherever you put her.
When is n man compelled to keep his
word When NO ono will take it.
Promissory Notes Tuning the fiddle Be-
fore the performance begins.
What class ought never to die with con-
sumption Merchants, with STRONG iron
chests.
why do many carpenters believe there is
no such thing as stonef Because they
never saw it.
There il laan who has such q good tenn
per that he hires hiI6solf oat in summer TO
keep people cool.
A gentleman who has just furnished his,
house, says he finds that dumb walters
don't answer. szafAs s q
Jf you WANT ito get more than one mum
dred eentsfor dollar, invest 1t In q bottle
of perf1mery.
Never coniaae In young man--new pals
leak. Never tell yonr secrets to the aged
old doors seldom shut, closely. $3.50
.sJohn, = said u Landlord, 81 am going to
raise your rent g Really, sir, you are
very kind, for cannot raise it Snyself.p
Why do medical men generally wear
occupied in preparing grace subjects.
The difference between sergeant at law
ans. sergeant of police, is that one studies
the law and the other carries 1t out.
g Sambo, where's your master 2" ttGone
out.% Has he left off drinking yet ~
g Oh, >yes, he leave off two or three times
this morning.
A shoemaker sells a pair Of boots for ten
dollars, receiving five in cash. The pur-
chaser afterwards defaults. Are the boots
soled or half-soied
recently decided that the .tmilk of human
kindness was literally milk punch with a
little nutmeg in it.
"Pluck up your coaragetn Do nothing
of the sort. Foster and cherish it. The,
deeper rooted it is the better. 1t viii stand
you in rare good stead one of Nese dark
nights.
An eminent and witty prelate Yas>ence
asked If he did not think such a one Ioi-
lowed his conscience. Yes,r said HIS
iordship, :. / think he follows it as a man
does horse in q gig-he drives it first"
Sheridan complained to his son Tom
about his getting into debt, and asked him
if he did not allow him ES00 year. /" Yes,
sir,n replied Tom, sit is true that You
allow me that sum, but it is never paid
"a passive verb" said teacher; " is
expressive of the nature of receiving an
action as, Peter is beaten Now what
did Peter do ~ "Well, don't know, sir -
said the scholar doubtfuiiy, unless he hol
leTed.r
Young lady engaged to be married,
and getnng sick of the bargain, applied TO
friead to>lelp, her unite the knot before it
was too late Oh, certainly" he replied,
. it Is very easy 20 unite 1t now, while 1T is
only a beau knot.R/f 49,
Two boys were sent to purchase a water
mellon, and as they were bringing>it home
said one to the other, q Don't let IT. fall,
Billy, EOS if it breaks We'll have to eaf>it
right here, and can't take any home.p
Billy guessed it wouldn't fall-but it did.
"Trust to Providence for heIp,n said q
loving husband, on seeing his wife attempt
to roll a barrel of flour up stairs. +" Trust
to Providence !" was her retort. edo you
| suppose that Providence will come and
| assist me while the the devil is standing
looking on Z"
A choleric old gentleman, becoming en-
ragged at the stupidity of an aged and faith
full servant, exclaimed, "zounds you dolt,
shall go out of my wits at your dulluess."
To which the honest old servitor replied,
Well, there Is one comfort, master-you
won't have to go far ~
A gentleman entered an omnibus not
long since, carrying with him a bag, which
he placed on the seat beside him. Soon
after a young woman took the adjoining
seAEv-EfFp4-Se sas-4Fe9 looks OF
surprise and indignation at her neighber,
who remained perfectly unconscious of her
I dtsqHiettsae, she suddenly sprung upon Fer
! feet, and exelaisaiHg Isssolcnts. p gave him
a couple of sound boxes on the ear. The
assaulted one at length rentnred to ask
why he had become the recipient of these
favors. You pinched me,n exclaimed the
lady furiously. The gentleman made no
reply but, looking under the seat, brought
| to light magnificent Hive lobster, which
had escaped from the bag
ENI1GnTENED AND RRFTNEp CHRISTIAN
| Nrv% E>-c, ,>,D, rTba io;.4,k,,ne. T:,,,.I.I