The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1869-02-18
ENGAGED PEOPLE.
From the New. York Round Table

At ball or sociable, at coauersdzione or %.
quet, at wedding or funeral, at any other ol
those festive occasions wherein society dlsports
itself, 1T not un:requently happens to young
man, after having been lavish OF his attentions,
| his admiration, and his heels for the sole be-
hoof and benefit of some particular young
| woman, whose eyes or hair OF toilette may
have hit his fancy, to be told by disinterested
| female friend, with the least possible soupcora
OF malicious triumph, that the object ct MS
devotion is engaged. All men who lave at
any time mingled in the diversions OF ne salon
can recall some such experience, anu with IT.
too, the unmistakable feeling Of wasted OPP
portunity. the chagrin OF lcve's lajor lost,
which the information brought With it.
Even we, whose silven0r 1.1s nave
scarcely softened the fires 81 voutL, can re-
| member the pretty blonde or thu =. clnallng
| brunette we danced with vainly II" onG entire
evening (ehe,G tugdces) so long ;..o; we can
| remember her name. the dimple in hvA lovely
cheek, the coqueltish allurements OF her SIDE
long eve: Ind we renew again after all these
wears the tempest of rage and loathing that
tore our manly bosom and threatened the Sc
re 1ty of our unrufled shirt front as We learn
ed that she was engaged 10 that puppy Jones,
or that scou drel Roblnson, as the case may
have been. But we did not then what we pro-
pose to do now; we dl1 not pause to m oralize
on, and, if possible, to analyze the curious
conyentionaitles which this triumph and de-
spair presupposed and Indicated.
The fact IS that that peculiar social relation
which is known as on engagement is among
the most amusing studies to which the phlo-
sophical student of society can apply himself.
To appreciate it thoroughly, however, he
ought himself to have been engaged at least
once and not pore than twice. For repeated
engagements will have confused the accuracy
of his recollections and blunted the delicacy OF
his perception to an extent that must mate
rally dim the light which experience would
otherwise have shed upon his inquiry. But to
man who has been once or twice engaged,
who IS neither cynic nor an enthusiast, there
is q nevcr-failing fund of entertainment in
watching the antics of his nelghbors struggling
in the net from which some friendly rodent OF
circumstances has released him. lie will OBJ
serve, in the first place, that for both parties
the situation is sing,llariy ulsagreeable. For
both it involves nearly all the prlvatlons, with
out any Of the privileges ut matr,mony. An-
gustus must leave his club and abandon bis
cigar; he must exchange those cosy little din
ners a t,'oas p,1ts at the cCte for dreary und
ill-cooked banquets at his intended iather-in-
laws; he must put up with chaing from his
bachelor friends and he must sacrlhce the at
fectionate and platonic regard OF all his female
acquaintance. OF course, whero man Is real
ly in love, greater sacrifices than these shouid
be gladly made; but after oil, the sncercst at
fection in the world will not prevent an Gu
gagged man from feeling that his position is
false and rksome i'll the extreme. Arabella
is, no doubt, the best girl in the world
and loves you very dearly, though no
better than YOU love he yet there arc
times when Lucinda, for example, who doesn't
caro- button for you, and tor whom you care |
even less, would be a much more agreeable |
At q dancing party, let us say,
where Lucinda wallzes like sylph and Ara
bella. dear creature that she IS. llke-wel, |
unlike lucinda. and yet Your engagement for
bids you to follow the inclination which would
I'VE you Q good partner instead OF poor
me, and delight instead Of torture. SO too
It the opera, wLere despite your affection, you
annot halp contrasting the cold indifference
Il Arabella WAC. with all her amiabilty and
,ooduess, has very little taste ter music,
With Luclnda's charming enthusiasm and
ppreciative ecstsces. Then, AGAIN. ut
ne picture gallery, you remember how
lucinda fairly vibratcd with artistic plea
urs over chefs GoeuureS which tho dar-
ing Of your soul passes with most provo
ing sraaa,ee..a..ance. raaa Row profound as is your
ttachment to your bethrothed, aud frmly as
ou aI 10 convinced that Sue OF oil women IS des-
ined to make you happy, you cannot deny TO
ourself that on all these occasions Lucinds' 3
ompany would bo vastly more agreeable. At
or you are married you can enjoy this plea
ure which Is now deued you; you can dane
nd firt with Lucinda then to you hearts con-
ent; you can invite her to join your wife IN
title parties to the theatre or the opera or the
oncer you can 60 50 LAT as et mer and
,obody minds 1t n bit. It is only your way;
ou always we're wild, d this is but the inno-
ent freedom of an old Benedict. But just
ry one of these Innocent freedoms while you
re engaged, and pugf! you have Arabella
nd q. her femme acq lalntances, young and
Id, buzzlug around your cars like q swarm OF
nraged hornets.
1t is this sense Of confinement and rostrai--.t
s-. c n.s the period OF betr irksole for
ven the most ardent lover; anu Ior 'ne laay
{ is even worse. From the fatal moment 81
,er official announcement there is az end OF oil
bose sweet obsel yauces wherewitn she was
Won't to be cncompassed. No longer the daily
,ostman comes to her freighted with store OF
la,nty m1ssives gllt-adged aud perfumed, lnrl-
ations to ball, or opera, or play, the newest
Yaltz. the latest novel; no longer her Doudolr
8 made fragrant with the spoIls OF dozen
10, ists no longer score Of eager cavaliers
contend for the honor OF her hand at every
lance no longer she goes forth in promenade
md park like Horace's Barlnc:
"Juyenum
Publica cura."
For all these various joys, for notes and
lowers for books and music, and invitations,
or escort and partners, even for the hltterlng
,omage of admiring eyes, she must depend
m Augustus, who, ten chances to one, never
kinks of flowers or music, never goes TO the
heatre. perhaps-O horror docs not even
lance. And IN the latter case i.e ls sure to be
he yerest dog in the manger, and 10 OBJECT
VIOLENTLY to his beloved dancing with Anybody
.lse. Could the art OF her btterest female
,nemy Gevlse for her more pitlabio situation
AZ We have said. for two people who love
zach other truly, these little annoyaIces 1t WILL
D, said, are very tr:f.ng and easily to be ca
iured. But TIE siucertst love cannot alto
yether relieve from monotony on intercourse
IF monchs, or even years, whose solo excite
mont lies in anticipation. After the first brief
insb of assured success, when passions cata-
ooue of pretty 1naulteS ls exhausted, IL Is
nard to imagine what engaged people find to
talk of evening a;tor evening that custom
throws them together. Which OF US has
friend, male or female. that he Could eaduro
to ,alk to nj ht after night for year toH ether,
with no change and no releasoP And WHAT
glamour las low: so ,huch more potept than
friendship to make US find variety IN mon
otuny itself? '.Nnc course OF true love
never did run smooth" only from the moment
II began to run smooth il ceased TO t'o truc
love. Passion leeds on difficulty, and romance
is it's hfe-breath. he bumdrum quiet and
prosaic realities Of 40 engagement are apt to
cool the ardor and disspate the illusion
which usually prompt 8 proposal and perhaps
in this way. by giving 4 chance to correct ah
error before it is irretrieyable, engagements
do good. From this point Of view the practice
is worthy of encouragement, but 1t must be