The Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1869-1872, 1869-09-04
Marx Twain's Editorial 'salutatory."
From the BufYalo EiptsSs AuR a.


Being a stranger, il would be immodest and
unbecoming in me 10 suddenly and violently
assume the associate editorship OF the Buffalo
Express without single explanatory word of
comfort or encouragement To the unotiendlng
patrons of the paper, who are about to be eX-
posed to the constant attacks Of my wisdom
and learning But this explanatory word
shall he as brief as possible. only wish to
assure parties having friendly interest in the
prosperity Of the journal that nm not going
to hurt the paper deliberately and Intentional
Is at any time. am not going to Introduce
any startling reforms, or in any way attempt
to make trouble. 1 ain simply going to do my
plain unprctending duty. when cannot get
out Of il; shall work diligently, and honest
Is, and faithfully, at all times and upon oil
occasions when privation and want shall COM
pei me to do IL; in writing, ] shall always
contne myself strictly to tho truth, except
when IL IL attended with Inconvenience; I
shall withoringly rebuke all forms of crime
and misconduct except when committed by
the party inhnbiting my own vest; shall not
make uso of any slang or vulgarity upon any
occasion or under any circumstances, and
shall never use profanity except in discussing
house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second
thought, will not even use IL then, for IL is
unchristian, inelegant and degrading though
to spenk truly, do not SEQ how house rent
and taxes are going to be discussed worth q
cont without IL. h0hll not OIJen InBuule
with politics, because we have apolitical ed-
tor who is already excellent, and only needs
to serve n term in the penitentiary in order to
he perfect shall not write any poetry, un-
less conceive a spite against the subscribers.
Such is my platform. do not see any
earthly uso in Il, but custom Is law, and GUS
tom must DO obeyed, no matter how much vi.
olence IL may do ones feelings. And this
custom which am slavishly following now,
is surely ono of the least necessary that evoI
camo into vogue. In private life man does
not go and trumpet q crime before he com.
mits IL, but Your new editor Is such an i'm
portant parsonage that he feels called upon tc
write "salutatory" at once, and he puts intS
IL all that he knows, and all that no dom
know, and some things he thinks he knows
but is not certain Of. And ho paradcs his lis
Of wonders which no is going TO perform; o
reforms no Ia going to introduce, and publ,
evils which he In going TO extorminate, ant
public blessings which he Is going 10 create
and public nuisancos he Ia going 70 abate III
spreads this all out with oppressive solomnit,
oyer q column and half OF large print, an,
foels that tho country is saved. His satisfac
ton over IL Ia something enormous. Ho thol
sottles down 10 his miracles and inhicts pro
found plntitudes and imponetrablo wisdom
upon helpless public as long as thoy 90
stand IL, and then they sond him of Consul !
some island In the Pacific in the Vague hop
that tho oannibals will like him we'll enough I
eat him. And with sn inhumsnity which
out hitting climax TO his career Of persect
"on' instead OF packing bis trunk at once b