davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15
Wanted ---- Saw Logs.
AT THE
Van Buren, Agricultural Works.

INlE Van Buren, Agricultural Works want
J. an unlimited number of saw stock.
They will contract for any quantity delivered
at the river bank in RATS. or delivered by wag.
on at their Steam Saw Mill. upper end ofthe
City Wharf Stocks of any Kind of LumbeE
such as Pine, Cedar, Oak, Cherry Walnut
Gum, Cottonwood, &C. wanted Persons
wishing to contract will address Van Buren
Agricultural Works." or apply in person
the office Of the works.
UAIMAN & SCOTT.
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

-" Pray tell ME, what is the cause
Of those tears ?" "Oh such disgrace
/ have opened one Of your letters, suppos.
ing it TO bo addressed to myself. Certain
ly, it looked more like Mrs. than Mr. "ls
that all! What harm can there be for a
wife to open her husbands letters p But
tho contents such disgrace" " What,
has any ono dared to write me letter un'
fit for my wife to read ?" "Oh, no. 1t is
couched in the most chaste language. But
the disgrace!' The husband eagerly
caught up tho letter, and commenced read
ing the opistle that had been the means Of
nearly breaking his wifc's heart. Reader,
you couldn't guess the cause in an age. II
was no other than bill from the printer
for two years subscription
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15
Budget Of Scissorings.
True and genuine Humor is always

True and genuine Humor is always
delightful. 1t is to solid reading what
seasoning is te tn. substantial dishes at
dinner. When. however. it is grossly
mingled with profanity, it dcgenerates into
ribaldry.
There lived in the summer of 1862, on
the Mechanicsville Turnpike near Rich
mond, generous, hospital, wholo.souled
Virginia gentleman. who. however, was
very passionate, and excitable. and who
when flurried was apt to mix up the rev.
srsntisl and the proisns. the sublime and
the ridiculous, in very odd kind OF way.
He had given up all his crop. pasture fields
and every thing he could spare, to the G. s.
Government But he had reserved one
tent acre lot Of corn for his own use. and
this he guarded with unceasing vigilance.
One day, when on watch. hc discovered q
group Of horscmcn approaching, and in.
stead Of going round his fence, they took
the most direct route right through, His
wrath was instantly aroused. and suppos
ing that they belonged to that class Of in
dviduals, whom a well-known French Of
UceT III our ssiNiVe usci W Saii us uo"H
csvelree," he rushed out in great rage
"How daro you 60 through my field :?
damn you I'll report you to President Da
is" eve are on urgent business and
ok the shortest cut" mildly replied the
sading horsemsn, in an old faded grey
suit"
Gentloman-" Do you command this
company
Horseman--" Yes, sir"
Gcntleman--"I'll teach you not to ridc
through my field. damn you; what's your
name y
Horseman My name is Jackson"
Gentleman" What Jackson ?"
Horseman--" J. jackson"
Gentleman" What is your rank 7"
Horseman--"I am a Major General in
the Provisional Army"
Gentleman, Raising his hat. -" Bless
my soul, you amt .Stonewau jackson ?"
Horseman--"I am sometimes called by
that name"
Gentleman. I Rushing eagerly up to him
and shaking his hand -" God bless you.
General jackson, ATM so glad to SEQ you
Go back aud ride all over my field. damn
you rido all over my field get down and
come into my house. l am SO glad to see
you. Ride all over my field, all over i!.all
over it. Bless your soul. | am SO glad to
see you
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

"A true philosopher is one who can
smile at his own misfortunes, and pity and
relieve those Of others.
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

"a head properly constituted can ac-
commodate itself TO whatever pillow the
vicissitudes Of fortune may place under it,
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

- Whilo colored preacher was bap.
tizing q convert at Augusta, Ga, the other
day, one Of the deacons" stole his boots.
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15
Two gentlemen were riding in

Two gentlemen were riding in
stage coach, when ono Of them. missing his
handkerchief, rashly accused the other Of
having stolen it but soon finding it. had
tho good manners to beg pardon for tho af'
front, saying it was mistake to which
the other replied, with great readiness and
kind feelings. Don't be uneasy it was q
mutual mistake you took me for MicG
aud / took You for a gcntleman.'
LET Why are wheat and potatoes like
the idols old? Because the former have
ears and hear not. and the latter eyes, but
sec not
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15
: Henry Ward Beccher pisfss

- Henry Ward Beccher pisfss the
devil thus: II am informed that before
the commutation System was abandoned BY
tho fairy company, mon Of proper and good
standing in society would boldly declare
that they had a communication ticket in their
pocket when they had mono. for the sake
Of going through without paying. They
did this when the ferriage was but ono pen.
ny. They lied for the ono cent. pity the
devil lido not know what he does with
such men. Il 10 awful to be chief magis.
trsts for . parcel Of men like them u
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

ETJosh Billings says: " Most people
decline to learn only by their own expo
rience. and guess they are more than
half right, for / don't suppose man
could get correct idea ofmolases candy
by merely letting another fcller taste it
for him."
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

- They have at Portland, Me-. what
ia called a" widows wood society" Who.
ever heard Of widow that wouldn't.
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

a lady asked a pupil at q public
school, What was the sin OF the Phari-
sees % eating camels." was replied
quickly by the child. She had read that
the Pharisces strained at gnats, and swal'
lowed cawels.
The Van Buren press., 1869-06-15

Many Of tho brightest virtucs are
like stars; there must be night or they can
not shine. Without suffering there could
be no fortitude, no patience, no compassion,
no sympathy.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

,olding something down in the hole. 1t was
|avtain that Aurelia' 5 wonderful baby was lusti-
v sloveling dirt into the hole. And, upon
sosess examination, it was certain that the
In the whole was the wonderful
housenOld cat, whose good nature Is proyerblal.
IN as'itany compensation for Aurelia' distress
q nulnss to be informed by the two wonderful
nshses ahat they were playing funeral?
AndSwhat wonderful things these children do
when they are playing by themselves If you
don't belle it, you watch one of them when
she gatsof in a corner by herself with her
Dishes and blocks, aud d~lls. a-A bite ef -ib
bons.s slIow she will metaphOse her playthings
Into orarities What curious freaks of the i'm
aginaiion she will display! Now she is dealing
with 0gres. Now she is surrounded by fairies.
Now sheis in church; and now she is big
booking forward to the time when it will be the
big lady and do wonderful things and the big
lady, be she in hovel or be she in hail. be she
40 angelOf purity or be she a sin-blghted Pa
rlah, Is looking back again and wishing she had
the freshness and innocence Of childhood.
What startling revelations these wonderful
babies make sometimes For instance, it was
not wise for Adolphus, who was having quite
interview with the aunt of the wonderful baby
to allow the w. B. to remain in the room be
cause they thought she was an innocent little
kuSW-uOIul OulluTeu nave lynx eyes, auC
ears which are wonderful for hearing. A ittl
fore-thought would have saved the aunt tn,
modification of hearing, at the breakfast tabl
the next morning, tragmentary bits of th'
evenings conversation dished up, and some 0
Adolphus actions with the aunt described il
very significant style.
And, now with all their drawbacks, wha
should we do without the wonderful babies
That mother Can only tell you what a grea
blank In house little coffin makes; in who's
drawers are little unused dresses and hats an
shoes who wears near her heart a little curl
5 sunny hair; who in her hours of grief cherisl
5 es as precious relics the dolls and the blocl
and other playthings who sometimes lister
for the patter of the little feet as if she mu
/ hear them again who sometimes fancies 81
y hears in some sudden sound, the music of b
. child's voice, and stands with outstretcht
/ hand as if TO greet the lost one, only to me
the hand of our common Father, touching h
n in benedicuon, and uphelding her as she wal
r through the deep waters
!, And if | could grant all who read these lin
:, one gift more than another, it would be th
e you might know the great joy and blessi
IT there is in a wonderful baby, and that the lit
10 vine might grow up to beautify and supp'
Y, the oak when it grows DID, and when the stOr
n come and the day is not far distant when t
woodman shall come with the axe.-CIticd
ye Tribune.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27
lFor the Smyrna Times."I
Questions on the Bible.

The following questions have been used in
the Smyrna NJ Z. Bible Glass. The series
will be continued They may be OF interest to
other Bible classes:
"A YEAR WITH MOSES - Questions for |
Revie,o based on Vtncent'S Little Footprints. "
Il The promise to abraham.
l. What promise did God make to Abraham?
possess the land Of Canaan. Gen. l2: 81
3 How many years elapsed before the prom
ise was fulfilled?
from The birth o ssc f1% oar nT
3. How long We're the descendants of Abra-
ham in Egypt?
4. What was their condition in Egypt after
Joseph death
Knew s S eaCe hp
5. How long were they left In bondage
Ans.-Probably about one hundred years -
| g. What is said of their condition during this
period?
Ans:The Egyptians set askmasters them and made
their LIVES 6ter %t v" RhT in SGbsSa Bs M & ana & %
7. What treasure cities did they build during
| their bOndagep
| Ans-Pihom and Raamses.
s. Why were the descendants Of Abraham
called Hebrews?
AnPobab because they were strangers from the OTHER
" g. Why were they called Israelites?
they the descendants OF Jacob who was
10. What was the number of the Israelites
when they first came to Egypt?
Ans" Three score and ten souls Gem 46; 81
H. What was their number when they lett
AnsAbopt 100000 on fost that we're men, and NTH the
than two millions. Ex. i2: 37-3s.
IL By whose hand did God deliver them
from bondage?
Ans.-By the hand Of Moses.
/. The Life of Noses.
l. How will you divide the life of Moses?
AnsIntO three periods Of 40 years each al Moses IN
81 Sns P9s t a % 6
1srSelite.' .1e-- =. K, ~
, l. Noses IN Pharaoh'S Palace.
l. Where was Moses born?
Ans.-In Egypt. -,
? 2. What cruel edict was issued just befor
his birth?
AnsPharaoh gave commandment that all the male childe
J of the Hebrews should be destroyed.
e 3. What interesting proverb refers to thi
Q event?
g Ans"w When the tale Of bricks doubted then come
e 4. Give an outline of his childhood
His parents Amram and Jochebed of the tribe
He an older brother sister Aaron and Miriam
His mother hid him three months and PIT him in ark
II lie was found By Pharaoh daSshtsr compassiO
= Miriam hs who watched t6e result from d;tsns @
i narse and then went and called the chlds mother.
"a 5. Who named him? -.
AnsThe princess named him Moses because she drew HI
'. 6 What can you say of his education
,t AnsIn his childhood he was trueted IN MS notnei
~ at, educated prince IN all q
wisdom the Egyptians and mighty in words and deeds
:. Acts 7: Y.
ot 7. What proof did he afterwards give OF hi
y, attachment to the religion of his parents
le By faith Moses when he come to years retus
TO called Pharaoh daughters choosing rather
suffer acton with the people OF God than to enjoy the plea
of a esteeming the reproach OF Ohr
greater than the Of Egypt Heb II; q 90
81 g. What was the immediate occasion OF h
~ leaving Egypt2 .a's = tri :.
Ans-He slew an Egyptian for shifting Hebrew and fed
ST his life TO the land of INDIAN.
- g. Where was INDIAN?
AnsIn the eastern OF Arabia Petraca, south OF
20 Dead Sea and the land Of Moab.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27
-AppletOn's Journal.

A FASHIONABLE WOMAN S PRAYER.-Dear
Lord have mercy on my soul, and please let
me have the French satin that | saw at
the, store this morning; for with black lace
hounces and overskirt that dress would be very
becoming to me, | know. If you grant my
request, please let me have new black lace
shawl also, dear Lord.
knee before the to night, feeling perfectly
happy, for Madame Emile has sent me home
such a lovely bonnet! A most heavenly little
biiou. composed Of white satin, with coral os-
trich tufts! For this favor l am feeling truly
grateful. :,
Give me, pray thee, an humble heart. and
a new green silk, with point lace trimmings.
Let me not grow too fond of this vain and de-
ceitful world, like other women, but make me
exceedingly gentle and aristocratic. When the
winter fashions come, let them suit my style
of beauty, and let there be plenty of puffngs,
pleatings, ruffies aud hounces, for dearly love
/ them ALL 4,
Oh Lord let business detain my husband
| at H, for he is not wanted at home at pres
sent. | wish to become acquainted with the
tall, dark eyed foreigner who is staying at Col.
Longswaow s, opposite. Bring about an in
PRODUCTION, beseech thee, for Mrs. Longswal-
low will not. B'e,s my children, and please
send them a good nurse, for l have neither
time nor inclination to look after them myself.
And now, o Lord take care Of Me while, L
sleep, and pray watch over my diamonds.
| Amen.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

A young lady in Woodbridge, hearing fiut
tering on Saturday evening in her chicken coop,
went out with light and found twenty five
young chickens lying on the ground dead and
dying, and upon closer examination discover
ed the ravager, which was a full grown skunk,
hid away under an adjacent foor The young
lady returned to the house, and procured an
old rusty horse pistol which her father carried
in the war of 1912, loaded it with buckshot and
returned to the barn. Placing the muzzle
within few feet of the odoriferous creature,
she ,blazed away. There was terrific explo-
sion and cloud of smoke, and-well, the young
lady took her nose between her fingers and
followed il into the house, fully realizing the
truth of the old adage that revenge is sweet.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

The late w. B. Stearns, prominent lawyer
of Springfield, Massachusetts,, lett curious dl-
regard to his burial. The body was to be
clothed in linen, then wrapped in sheet, a
paper collar with black ribbon capped around
the neck, and laid in cotin made of plain
boards without paint, stain, oil or varnlsh,
but covered with cheap black cloth, with black
handels, and no silver-headed nails. A cheap
plate and some flowers were to rest upon the
TOP. He wished to avoid all unnecessary ex-
penses for he says in his manuscript that any
funds remaining would be needed by the lV-
ing, and the good clothes had better be for
them.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

WHAT HE WAS FoR.-An occasional cor
respondent of ours, meeting party Of settlers
the other day in Texas, inquired from the coa-
ductor what the men in the first wagon were
intended for.
'To clear the forests"
"Wen," said he, and what are those in
the second for?"
"To build the huts," was the reply.
"And that old white headed man In the
third wagon-what is he for 2" was the next
question, to which the reply was given:
"Oh, that's my father; we shall open our
new cemetery with him u
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27


THE VAGvBoND SAGE.-An old man of very
active physiognomy, answering to the name OF
Jacob WilmOt, was brought up the other day
before a magistrate, charged with ,vagrancy.
His clothes looked as if they might have been
bought second handed in his youthful prime,
for they had suffered more from the rubs OF
the world than the proprietor himself had.
"What business?"
None; I'm a traveller.
GA vagabond, perhaps Z"
"You are not far wrong. Travellers and
vagabonds are about the same thing. The diff
ference is that the latter travel without money,
the former without brains.
"Where have you traveled?"
''All over the country"
=" For what purpose 2"
"Observation.
"What have you observed ?"
GA little to commend, much to censure, and
great deal to laugh at. "
!" Humph !. what do you commendY"
"a handsome woman who will stay at home;
an eloquent preacher who will preach short
sermons; good writer who will not write toe
much, and a fool who has sense enough to hold
his tongue.
"What do you censure ?"
"a man who marries a girl for her fine
clothing; a youth who studies medicine while
he has the use of his hands; and the people
who elect drunkard to Office.
"What do you laugh at?"
81 laugh at a man who expects his position
to command that respect which his persona
qualifications and qualities do not merit.
He was dismissed.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27
re
LOOK AIT ssorIE

Should you feel ipclsnsd to eensafo -
Faults you may In others view
Ask yeur owr life, Ger yeu venture,
If that has not failings too.
Let not friendly VOWS be broken a...a..s Z
Rather strive a friend to gain; 3. r
Many word IN anger spoken
Finds its passage back again. 9 =
as 81 r.A- g. g..
Do not, then, in idle pleasure,
Trifie with brothers fame,
Guardit as a valued treasure,
Sacred as your own good name.
Do not form opinion blindly,
Hastiness to trouble tends,
Those Of whom we thought unkindly
Oft become our warmest friends.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

Mr.. G.. was a most inveterate punster. Ly-
ing very i'll of the cholera, his nurse proposed
to prepare young tender chicken. Hadn't
YOU better take an old hemp said G.. in low
whisper-he Was too i'll to speak louder. for
G. fell back exhausted, and the nurse tainted.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

PLEASANT To open your wife S jewel box,
and discover a strange gentleman's hair done
up as a keepsake. We know of nothing that
makes an ardent temperament feel more
"knifey." ~. "a -.
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

"Is that marble?" said gentleman, point
ing to the bust of Kentucky great Statesman,
recently, in a New York store.
No sir, that is Clay" quietly replied the
Ia .lar
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

Take your place modestly at lfe's banquet.
and ask for nothing that not in the bill of
fare. .sila Hsg at4
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

To the general inquiry, Where's Byron's
character now?' we beg to answer that 1t 8
Stowe len. ..
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

GA prudent man" says witty Frenchman,
els like pin His head prevents him from
going too far
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27

A Knotty Question style of ties will
be worn next season? -:t1
Smyrna times., 1869-10-27
The
DELAWARE HOUSE
HOTEL, .... azt.~
SMYRNA, DELAWARE,
Illus. L. SUTLIFF, Proprietor. ,,s

III. eta
10 so,'s known Brick Hotel. !" being now under
10 ehafge and management OF the und gned.
Absrai express 10 the public his thanks for the
la patronage heretofore gwen The house, during
sh,ss h with II. and 10 ask It's continuance,
soy;da as hopes TO merit by we'll directed efforts TO
lad 10 or the comfort and enjoyment OF his guests
"sd ss desire. s''Ns'' sa' s''e "'o's iasiloious
sds, rooms have been placed IN the most thorough
Mals. me Table is we'll provided with all the
Via. - ano LUxURIES,th the market affords Those
ssa as can always find my table ready 10 meet The
aea,b ose who wish board by the meal. day, week
" year at the lowest possible rates = 4. -
THE BAR ~ g go
liquors. WIN nne assortment OF the Choicest
srnpessneed Cooks. attentive servants and all de-
asa % give complete satisfaction,
a'' iilh. 1863, i. l.. SUTILFF.,
, 1869-10-08

but The former contcnded were Teas1n. spo.r.r
which It WAS absurd to tax. To come to ! .E.:
So4ss Nss opeaea s nd essh eieTs I Il it cs,x1ss!
The schoolnaste1 observed that he was no. !,
smoker himself, but that he had coua,n Wao W.
lie boz q cigarettes. begged aim pof oqea, ~
asife for tho cousin 81 this time the cunelafs..
ecdsd skat ibs United ssates Tresaar1 aaa Z ~
rive no pronk from my gloves, and they and nv -
gaFettes were carried back to ny trunks II ~
lie schcolnas.ei. md thinf saM sssy sIsss wo',
rust 1T net my number Is X" The nchoolau 1a;sr
hsd : band NJ leg u mutton: hut OVERCOME
be al once ansorped Into his pocket Nj ronls ss
and chattela we're put back, and M trunks wcte
locked up. 7 thought that NJ friends exlo,tsH:s
had come to IN enu-pnt at III. HIt t, 80
rot been for me-, he said, ts you would have ns,s
tan donAIa Duty on these gloves; now don:s r M,
h!tk''-ani h1 Favc Dt = cunning, greedy laof !
curiosity. was determined 70 tess to the fu ia
capacity for iohhsng possessed b. this garaiaa of
tho public pure. and s.E 70 more Of tae scaoais
| In New YORK bus tb2ugutated reign of par:Y. /
offer these faeia to h!s consideration When x
eess!ssly high duties arc !eEsed upon aE,;elss a1
! Custom Eoase search tnGutsisor1ai in III n,.uu,r
i Ieu. Dut travellers have night to ak lh.i. #
es tSoud nos sass SIsess lsSs apSa sf
3et1pg pTuaala from the Polish fEpuier hut iae.
was not expected 10 fee the examiner, anii aa;.
b1lbed the custom House Officers Of the la;e i 4.
Bombs, but then theJ dtd not even open mj u.
Rngs. am equal 70 either fortune, hu: prose.,
! aFalnst being Inc victim Of both Ny schorl1a-
te5 WIS: l iuaalas, nei1he1 better to:
sIser ny my a5rtvsi i met NJ" !sylt;. ~;
parseneer, who, I observed, had OILY trvn
/ subjected 10 nominal examination. aud us.4t
him why he had been specially favored. liz Vi
me that he had given bis card, with hts aLl.r:-.
10 the ofncer IN whose h1nds he tell, aua ,ss:,
him to call upon him. That morning he hal r.
ceived visit trom HIN, and had nande,i him W.,
This he assured me- = the pun a4loptsi ~ saas.
who nle experienced Ia the ways OF Eslss1S S;Aie,
Custon uonse officers. The whole th,ns i, i
beautiful comment upon hiSh protective '!;,.> !:
In the port Of New fe1k goods may be- srcsc.r,!
vent It. the arnounE or anuSE.iog aioug tie sch
board and Canadian frontier Of this Yast ru..a.l
must be enormous. Indeed, An told, uPon -,
| authority, that many respectable houses Vt.r.l.e
lneE goods ln Canals, to be delivered uusy IT,. /
New York Smuggling haa IN fac1 bsco.lt r.: <
niZed and almost legitimate linz Of tus1aIa4
, 1869-10-08
H0HRIHLE CRUELTY.


n ~
fTen sAs -st'e I orr Commonwealth, oek j.
times happens that ueu Of wea ID aud position rel
a dt ct tbs koEt into thetr heads anu he1zA and
beat hoNoT the low roaghs Of The Fire Po,nts.
muLkter ho IA ch,ef ACTOR IN the CO valdJ drsu,a
Is q ueaatnY store kee pr. Aboot eixhieen moatas
ago be nut hts nIel engaged bright LOOKING col
Tcrf. u Ioa.a d MI work In Inc hoase. anu frum
The tsst moment Of her entrance upon The new
rsi} i}rsiiT rerer icsrsn1 ~ 1rnr-++n;f@ ~ 1o;Gts
snd drE1Gie ner; aud When 1neIe Tss nothing tat
they could mske handle Of fhey invented some-
to,ns ana ehsIe ~ Eli liz s.s,i1n q
sne deciarsn mai kne fneT retnlnr ahnnt II nnd
to cpupel her 10 make confcesion, viii it be