The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-04-22
JOSH BILLINGS ON KISSING.


JOSH BILLINGS ON KISSING.
have written essays on kissing be-
fore this one, but they didn't satisfy
me nor dew I think this one viii, for
the more man undertakes tew tell
about . kiss the more he will reduce
his ignorance to science.
Yu kafit analize kiss emmy more
than yu ken the breath oy flower
Yu kant tell what makes q kiss
taste SO good emmy more than yn ken
d peach.
Emmy man that kan set down, whar
it is cool, and tell you how a kiss
tastes, haint got any more real flavor
tew his mouth than a knot hole has.
Such phello wouldn't hesitate tew
describe Paradise as fust rate place
for garden sass.
The only way to describe kiss is
tew take one, and set down, awl alone
out of the draft, and smack your lips.
If you kant satisfy yourself how q
kiss tastes without takin another one
how on arth kan yen define it tew the
next man?
want it understood that am talk
ing about pure emotional kissing, that
is born in the heart, and flies tew the
lips, like humming bird tew her
roost.
kissing an unwilling pair nv lips is
as mean victory az robbin birds
nest, and kissing pair of willin ones
izabout az unfragranta a recreation az
maxim bokas out of dandelions.
The kind nv kissing that / am talk
ing about il the kind that must do it
or spile.
Ifyon search the records ever so
lively yu kant find the author NV the
first kiss; kissing, like much other
things, IL anonymous.
But thar il such nature in it, stitch a
world nv language without words,
such heap NV pathos without fuss, so
much honey and so little water, so
cheap, sudde mt and so neat = mode of
striking up an acquaintance, that /
consider it good purchase that Adam
give and got the fust kiss.
Who kan imagine a greater lump NV
earthly bliss, reduced to a finer thing
than kissing the only woman on earth
;p tho GordouSa E1or
Adam wasn't the man, I don't be-
lieve tew pass sich q hand.A
don't know whether the old stock
philosophers ever kist emmy body or
not IL they did they probably did it
like drafting a fheorem on black
board, more fer the purpose of pro-
wing something olse.
l du hatetu see this delightful in
vigorating beverage adulterated it il
nektur fur the gods; but I am often
obliged tu stand still and see kissing
did, and not say word, that hain't got
any more novelty or meaning in it,
than throwing stones at mark.
/ saw tew mayden ladies kiss yes
terGlay on the north side NV Union
square, 8 times in less than ten min
utes they kist every time they bid
each other farewell, and then immedi-
ately thought Nv sumthing else they
hadn't sed. I couldn't tell fur the life
NV me whether the kissing was the
result nv what they sed, or what they
sed was the effect Nv the kissing. Ii
was which and tother scene.
Cross-matched kissing is undoubt-
edly the strength Nv the gain. 1t is
trew, there is no stattu regulashun
against tew females kissing eachother
but don't think there is much pardon
fur, unless it is dune tew keep tools ir
order; and tew men kissing each Other
IL prima face evidence of dead-beat.
cry.
Kissing that passes from parent tt
child, and back again, seems to mi
az shinplasters to do bizness with ani
kissing th at husbands give and take j,
simply gathering ripe fruit frum one'
own plum tree that would otherwis,
drop oph or be stolen.
Therefore 1 am drig to konklude t.
.git ont of the corner that mi remark
have chased me into, that theiiIe NV
kiss IL only tew be had once in phel
los life, in the original package, ant
that is when
Not tew waste the time NV the read
er, hev thet best not to finish the abu7
sentence, hoping that there amt n,
person NV good edukation and de
cent memory but kan recollect tn
time 1 refer tew, without emmy of m