The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-12-19

MtLt1GeEex,<4N83' - 50
ii Thersuis no room for r.sme ih ths parlqr.
rs o large one its truS, bnt on tn sofa,
at one side, sat Rose and Horace talking
in an uuderltone., - Idfind that number
three is crowded out, as number Atty
could not be. It is, q surplus, q, somet
thing to be carried. useless fraatien. 7
betake myself to the back porch. * There
I find Peleg and Pamela. They look at
meso amiably-deceitfpl creatures! land
say, "Do come and sit. with us, Aunt
Patty" With us, iadeedl You are too
sweet to be genuine, my dears, I reply,
with as deceitfully amiable grin. "I'm
altogether too busy darnipg stockings"
and aside add, "Darn;, the stockings"
with another emphasis; and retreat to the
front balcony. Here I find Confucius
Jones and Arabella. They are talking
yolubly. but on my approach are stricken
dumb. Arabella looks indignant, and
her that the balcony is just as much mine
instead and depart with dignity; at least,
descend to this haven of peace. Be-
linda jumps violently, and cries. "Oh, I
thought it was q mouse" and Rufus
nearly breaks the glass of the vestibule
door with his elbow, and shakes hands
with me as though T had just returned
from journey with will in his favor
in my pocket, forgetting that I have
greeted him already this very evening.
Why should I be taken for mouse?
Why should be superfuously shaken
hands with? Plainly because am num-
Der three.
I retreat to the kitchen. Rosa jumps
up. all ablaze in the face, and an indi-
vidual in his Sunday best ducks his head
to me.
''Me cousin, num-" says Rosa, 'jest
come in to tell me that me sisters BROTH
er-in-law's babby is to be walked the NOR
rer."
That identical baby has been "waked"
ten times already. Perhaps Rosa has
forgotten that. am number three
again. I retire ''in confusion" AS I
fly I hear the ''cousin" say, "What was
she wantin'?" and Rosa reply, "Only to
shpy on us. What else?'' ...
Where shall fly for air? since on odd
number feminine has not the blessed
privilege of an odd number masculine,
and cannot fling on q hat and stroll out
into the moonlight. climb to the
roof. MY pet Thomas cat is on the
parapet, evidently paying court to
white kitten with blue ribbon on her
neck, who resides next door.
He looks at me and says apgrily and
Extensively, "Miunll." +"
Even here am number three. I de-
scend in despair and retire without put
ting my hair in crimps. Why am I
number three? Why did settle down
to darn stockings and bake pies for those
darling young things who were ''never
going to leave Aunt Betty while they
lived?" 'tWhy did I say ''No" to that
pretty blue.eyed fellow who wanted me
to be number two? Why don't 90 to
the top of pillar, like Simon Stylites,
and be number one? look at the three
green china ornaments on tho toilette
table, and pity the odd one. wonder
why any one ever thought of making IN
odd thing Of any kind. open my
Bible, and read of Mr.. and Mrs. Adam,
and of Mr.. and Mrs. Noah. and of the
very beasts and beastesses going two
and two into the ark. The only odd
thing is the serpent-that probably made
him 80 spiteful. And I go to sleep and
dream that all the rest have assembled in
pairs, as in the last scene of "specta-
cular drama" and that am left alone in
the midst of chaos, which has ''come
again" AUNT BETTY.
'IF ONLY HAD CAPITAL. "-"If only
had capital" wo heard Young man say