The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-04-15

u " Candle, | would like to know what
makes your face SO red Yon look as
though you had been Intoxicated for q %
week. 1 do declare this is too bad
Was there ever a woman in this world
so"-i'7' 7i''!+ 3.ii .D'L5'i ~" hSS
~ Mr.. C.. exclailns--" Now my dear %
don't take on so. You know new
Vehicle of locomotion has been intro ~
-duced in town, it is called the veloci-
pede.T rode one of these at the hall
tonight before coming home, and is isoq
hot work, especially for beginners .-2!ioi
Been drinkingf No, 1 haven't drank
anything for six months!p 81 9d1 iiH BIS
Mrs. C--"There Caudle, just, Just g
look at that! Torn the best pair of
pants you had in the housei Now,
how did that come about!"e e-t4'''7aii
y Mr.. c." Well you see, I rode the esis
iYelocfpede this forenoon, and another d
lyeloeipede ran into mine; and before pms
knew IL my pants were torn. "'af''7d f'f'"
h Mrs. C.A" You have ripped your IL
coat, too, haven't you? You didn't
want me to see that tear! And here'ssZ
your best beaver smashed up! PERI
rhaps you'll say the velocipede did that? p .
1t did, did it? But Mr.. Caudle, what
is the matter with your ihands?5 Why ~
they are all blistered up.n 'ini sii0 5h1
n Mr. Ga Three days riding the ve-'i b
Iocipede is enough to blisteranybody'sTq
hands; but its nothing wheh you get 'is
| used to it. Happens to all beginners l"Ad
h Mrs. C.-What is the matter now IH
Caudle? Y GU limp as II you had been Is
terribly iwured,p li2..z s9a'o sd agIs
Mr. ,C.-@A slight sbruise, only Gd1
ksliglit bruise keep me in the hodseh5
only a day or two. You see Jack. az
and lie weighs three hundred and fifty
pounds accidentally drove his velocizoo
pedeoo over my foot, and yet one must }
endure these little things in aordert6sq
4become'an adeptlin riding the veloci- n
petle,' Sii5 aTisY51 sIiasof Bio s.Sd7H
Mrs. C-@Nowa r would like to"
know where you've beenall this Blesst q
ed evening, Caudle Here is fifteen b
minutes to midnight, and you just
coming home to your lawfully welded
wife. No! You needn't say that you
have been to the lodge, because I
know it isn't lodge night" .,-.r. - -, -,
b Mr. CO No, my dear, l haYen't,
been to the lodge. You see, in order.
to become an adept '-.'..,''.',..I- -.
# Mrs. Now, ,Caudle, j know.
what YOU. were going to say, You
twere going to tell me that you must
desert me every night. for six-Weeks
while You learn to ride a YeIocipede! ?,
4 If wives had their way they'd burn
every .velocipede in townl Ard what,
was the matter with you last night
L couldn't get wink of sleept Yours
4legs kept going up and down all night,
like pump handles! yelocipede mo-,
ton, was it? l'ut your feet in the :
istirrups and turn and that throws your
knees up and down, does it, Now
don't tell me its nothing when I get
used to it, because that's something I
t,coa't get used to! 1t is bad enough
to sleep with a man when he, is quiet,
I'but to have the bed clothes foppingt :,
up and down al night as regularly as
that cloak ticks, is a little too much
ye!oe pede or no yelocipede, II you,
ride the .yelocipede another day, Can-
! die, I'll leave the house And with, i,
fthis conclusion the lady ceased, find-,
ing her worthy spouse was already
L iasS a' aas'lse2 ,Ii7a 9,svtrq nj hetjuH ssvit