The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-02-18
FACETIE.

The editor of the Richmond, Ken
lucky Register "stops the press to &C
knowledge the receipt of bottle OF
whisky"
Brigham Young has been making I'M
successful love to an actress. Buffalo
reporter says she doesn't wish to waste
her sweetness on Deseret heir.
President Johnson is announced to
give q reception on the evening OF
March 2, at the White House. 1t Is
perfectly proper for him to give his
last "shake" before giving his last
kick"
An old lady, being in store at Wat
erbury, Connecticut, recently, deliber
ately sat down and reached out bel
half frozen feet to the iron safe, re
marking she always did like those air
light stoves"
The New York HeraldS Washington
special says that Ben. Wade remarked
lotto rOce, of Ben. Buffers strategy
"Tbe gentleman from Massachusetts
may; appeal and be id"
A gentleman in Sacramento, Cal, has
sued q woman for breach OF promise
putting his damages at S2O,OOO. YER
dict for the defendant. The Sacramen'
to Union calls it she breach ofpromise
case"
Awag in Indiana, not long since
purchased fine horse; returning from
q ride few days afterwards, he said he
had discovered a quality in his animal
which added fifty dollars to its value; 1t
SHE'D at constable.
"Vat you making here 2" hastily in
ouired Dutchman ofhis daughter, who
was being kissed very DANGEROUSLY.
"Oh, not much, just counting little
OATS ALL" "Oho, OATS all, bought you
was fighting"
Amarried man in New Hampshire
has adopted an original method OF
economy. One morning recently, when
he knew his wife would see him, be kiss
ed the servant girl. The house ex-
penses were instantly reduced $500 per
year.
The "Fat Contributor" thinks the
poem of Euoch Arden has encouraged
hundreds of dead husbands TO return and
annoyutheir families, who would other
wise have kept away. The Enoch Ar
den in real life, he says, is usually
scalawag, and comes home ragged, dirty
and drunk.
Mrs. Brenkerhoff gave n lecture n
Mt. Vernon, Iowa, the other day, and
Hpon closing her speech, she desired any
one differing with her to speak out IL
meeting;" and said, "if any Democrat
OF Republican present desired to fight,
she was ready to take tumble"
The London Telegraph says: "The
Americans have strange fashions in
matters ecclesiastical; but there is one
thing they leave to US. Mr. Beecher's
auctioneer, ut the outset of the sale
said, Gentlemen, l am instructed to
sell every seat in this church, except
the minister's Here we sell even
that"
A Freuch Mayor, who wished to be
very amiable toward a Duchess, who
was one-eyed, in making out her pass
port, wrote as follows: "Eyes-dark,
beautiful, soft, full of expressiOn-One
of them absent" This surely is the
triumph of courtesy, and worthy of the
nation that plumes itself its polite
ness.
In order to smuse the children on u
Sabbath, a lady was engaged in read ng
from the bible the story of David and
Goliah, and coming to that passage in
which Goliah so boastingly and de6antly
dared the young STRIPPING, little chap
almost in his first trousers, said: "Sis-
ter, skip that, skip that; he's blowing!
want to know who licked"
Stevy was playing with his new top
one Sunday, when his mother said to
him: "Stevy, don't your conscience
tell you it is wrong to play with your
top on Sundsyi" "No, ma'am," answer
ed Stevy. Every well, said his mother;
eff your conscience don't tell you it is
wrong, go on" Stevy put down his
top, and sat some moments patiently
waiting. After a while he took it up
again and said: "Well, / guess might
as well go on with my play, don't hear
my conscience say anything"