The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-12-21
N n wy o n TX I S M 8.
From Our 0lOa Correspondent

irving Hall--About midnight
IThe Fat Mems Ball.
If there is any one thing for which more than
for any other feel grateful to the managers of
public amusements in New York, it is for the
facilities they furnish in numerous cases those
industrious feelers of the public taste Chose
journalistic antennW) who derive q portion OF
their income from special correspondence. It Is
this attention on the part of the managers of
New York public entertainments generally, and
OF the Fat Mems Ball particularly, that enables
me to pen this letter. in the very focus Of the
scene which it attempts to describe.
feel something of what | imagine Gplliver
must have felt when the Brobdignagian peasant
picked him up in the meadow, and the
Princess Glumdalclitch made him her favorite.R
reached the southwest corner of Fiftieth street
and Irving place, where Irving Hall is situated,
at about nine o'clock, but it was q full half an
hour before got inside the building On my
way thither a curious incident came to my
notice on Fourteenth street. At the residence of
Mr.. A. V. Prudhomme-a member of the Fat
Mems Club and one of the most suety of them,
weighing two hundred and forty-three pounds
stood carriage evidently waiting to carry him
to the ball. As passed the door opened and a
huge mound of human intumescence might be
seen descending the steps. 1t was the fat man
door stood open to receive him. His
foot was on the step, the driver waiting the
signal to start In vain. Whether it was that
by some mishap the door of that identical car
riage was smaller than the regulation size, or
whether it was that Mr.. Prudhomme had en-
veloped his hypertrophied frame in more coats
than usual certain 1t is that for five minutes his
mucilaginous muscles quivered in the vain
effort to enter, like huge human blubber-fish
trying to squeeze itself in snails shell. By
this time crowd of satirical observers were
surrounding the carriage, suggesting to the un
fortunate Mr.. Prudhomme to cut an inch off
himself all round, and indulging in numerous
other effervescences of chaH. At last the driver
dsmounted and policeman came strolling by;
both got behind the turgd terpsichorean, and
giving him long push, a strong push, and
push all together, Mr.. Prudhommes body went
through the door with delicious, juicy flop"
and so suddenly that the policeman and driver
lost their balance and were both precipitated on
the pavement. The next instant came crash,
the floor of the carriage gave way, and pair of
chubby legs, encased in lavender pants, might
be seen protruding through the smashed car
riage bottom, and planting themselves involun-
tarily in the gutter. ] am afraid there was no
| ball for the pulpy Mr. Prudhomme that night,
| but did not wait to see.
Feeling the disadvantages | labored under in
| being emaciated, not to say skinny in personal
| appearance, it with more than ordinary
energy that ebowed my way through the adj
pose crowd that beset Irving Hall. 1t was like
wading through glue, eating juiubc paste, and
breathing inda-rubber. Whichever way 1
| pushed there was a spring cushion presented by
| the limbs and bodies of the oleagnous mass in
| which found myself. At length, reaching the
| ballroom, l joined a bevy of ignominiously
| thin people like myself, and attempted to look
| with equanimity on the scene before me.
| If on any future occasion am asked what is
| rGy idea of infinite benevoence, shall say it is
| the greatest good of the lattest number; for
never saw people enjoy themselves more. The
dancing commenced nominally at half-past nine,
but in reality not until ten, and all the varieties
| of the Fat Man of the Period were present, from
| the saponaceous cyclops of three hundred
| pounds, to the pinquid tom-tit of one hundred
| and eighty. Not a few of the more squabby
specimens of the genus homo were attired in the
| lavender pants, the white satin vests with two
| buttons), and the blue coats (with gilt buttons),
| which are the latest style of masculine ballroom
| costume. Mr.. Harry C. Lainzell, of West
| Twenty-third street, was thus attired, and won
| equal admiration from the jewels which sparkled
upon his shirt-front, and his juicy and gelatin
| Gus charms OF person. He weighs two hum
dred and eighty-three pounds, and despises all
| Banting theories, whether in encouragement or
encouragement of feshiness. 1t was evident
| that the aphorism that
| ''In Joining contrasts lieth loves delight
| was not without its force among those who were
partners Invariably the thnnest women were
| the partners Of the most dropsical men. 1t was
natures law of compensation, and arts law of
poetcal Justice, trying to set matters straight.
Looking only at the men, | imagined myself in
| q pre-Adamite age gazing upon strange order
of beings coeval with the megatherium among
the lower orders of animals. From where l sit
now can see scores of happy, hunky human
countenances beaming with good humor and
grease. Polite portliness perspires in the en-
deavor to make oneself agreeable. OF course,
with such rotundity at the command of sperma-
cetic loor-managers nearly all the dances were
''round" dances. There were any number of
heartless firtations going on also, for corpora
tions notoriously have no souls, and every fat
man there had corporation" of his own. The
"Grand March" is in progress now. distin-
| guished fat man whom have desired to be in
troduced to approaches. He seems to have en-
| oyed himself-to have had stomach for us all.
So, for the present. must close. ALI BABA.
1
The bonded debt of Illinois on the 1st inst,
| was Sb l04 S5964 q decrease of 1888, SOB 'S9