Wyandot County Republican. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1869-1903, 1869-12-10
GLEANINGS.

age! Want OF funds.
The public singer that "draws''
the best-A mosquito.
Cheap generosity--Giving man
piece Of your mind.
When is small fish-pond like a
bird cage? When there's a perch
in it.
Some lawyers resemble folks who
can sleep in any position; it is i'm
material on which side they lie.
If an engine whistle could speak
to the engine driver, what would il
say? 'Don't touch me, or I'll
scream
In Virginia, will "written Who'll
ly by the testator'' requires no sub
scribing witnesses.
81 came near selling my boots the
other day." said Scuttle to friend
elbow so p "Well I had them half
soled."
An old tobacco chewer finds that
the Bible sustains his favorite habit.
He quotes "No that is filthy, let
him be filthy still"
s'I'm ruined,'' as the old woman
said when her house was on fire
but it's cold night, and I may as
well warm myself
Spriggins says he once prevented
a severe case of hydrophobia by
simply getting on high fence and
waiting there until the dog left.
A young lady being asked wheth
er she would wear wig when her
hair turned gray, replied with great
earnestness, "Oh, no !I'l dye first -
A westward bound passenger was
lately surprised by the following an
nouncement Of the conductor
"Chicago-ffteen minutes for di-
vorces.
Pat Doolan, at the battle of Chan
cellorsville, bowed low at cannon
ball which whizzed just six inches
above his head "Faith," said Pat,
"one never loses anything by being
polite"
A lady, out with her little boy
and girl, bought the boy a rubber
balloon, which escaped him, and
few up in the air. The girl, seeing
tears in his eyes, said: "Never
mind, Neddy; when you die and
go to heaven you'll dit it,
"You never saw a happy lot OF
people as we had here yesterday" A."
said a landlady in Indiana to a new
ly-arrived guest; ''there were thir-
teen couples of 'em." What! thir-
teen couples just married p ooh,
no, sir; thirteen couples just di
vorced %
"Mamma'" said a little French
girl, "do cats have souls ?" sWhy,
darling p Because / should like
to have my cats soul always in
heaven with mine" And then af
ter monuments reflection, "Why
of course, all the cats souls must
be in in heaven to catch the rats
souls.''
ssDear me-" exclaimed Shggins
ssthat new surgeon gave Squantum'
boy new lip from the child's OWL
cheek! What a painful operation
it must have beenn' "I've had 6
pair of lips taken from my cheek
more than once" replied Mrs. Stig.
gins, and it wasn't painful opera
ton at ALL
A Sunday School teacher was Civ
ing lesson on Ruth. She wanted
to bring out the kindness to Boa;
in commanding the reapers to drol
larger handfuls of wheat. "Now
Children" said she, ''Boaz did an
other very nice thing for Ruth car
you tell me what it was p ''Mar
ried her!n' said one Of the boys.
A man was once relating a stor,
Of being on a locomotive that strucl
a COW standing on the track ant
threw her into a field, where she Ii
squarely upon her feet, with hel
head toward the train, and strange
to say, she wasn't hurt mite
"But didn't she look scared ?'' in
quired listener. "Well, I don
know whether she was scared o
not, but she looked a good deal dis
conraged!' %
"How came you to have WOO
en- leg ?'' "Why my father had ONT
so had my grandfather. 1t runs i
the family"