Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1869-10-07
Nearly all About that Kitten--Poetic,
Errattc, NOnsenstc.

OVER THE BORDER, Sept. 25 1869.
DEAR CHRONICLE: Sick at home, waiting
watched" for your coming this week. ! could
not go TO the Fair nor the Fair TO me; but when
you came read you from :. a TO lizard, y and
found facts, fun and food for fancy from first to
finale. (Art often afflicted with deliberative ar
tcles?) Even many of the advertisements are
Do read Alright in the first column immedi-
ately above their name, that Gresslnger& & Lewis
are dealers In "Ry(e) Goods, Notions. &C.,?
D, dear me, for shame on them,
thot that they were temperance men,
But now it seems by reading sly,
That they are dealing s,me in Rye.
And jsst above, In ''T. Clairville," I" our friends
of the st. Clair and National are under Hot Is.
If that word :" Hot Is !" is to be taken as the
(h)englishmans pronunciation Of another Or
biography, then fear 7. Clairvill, is getting
more than warm,
But the richest thing of all, by far.
Is the kitten found =" with no tail thar
IT was found up stairs in open hall
Clase by the front, or cater-waul,
So simply hid in paper-waste
So close to lots of gum and paste
And yet unlike cen all its
1t had no tail right in the piace-where the tail
ought TO grow,
" Down down, derry down,
Lu, ri lu, ri lu!"
In these days of war can imagine a cat or
even kitten, without a tai, but a kitten BORN
without a tail, " that's what wnacks me! That
cat as ta) trophy kerwhollips Barnum's biggest.
And then its none of your common, private
"got up" cats either, no Sir Its a public cat.
Us the peoples cat, it's a Cbuntyeat. Huzza for
ghum and @ bunty W eaIs It's "a officer III cats too.
By the way in this day of rights" "spheres, "
conventions" and sich, perhaps ought not to
admit the last proposition until know some
thing of its gender.
Now. Mr.. Ed, let us have the catalogue of
thatar cat If it is possible, with the aid of PEN
1t is the right kind of cat for the County. 1t
may witness all audits, transfers, commissions,
probates, caucuses, and many other cusses &c,
and yet II will "no tail unfold" Naturally it
would now scorn to be a "tdi bearer" This it
leaves to those bipeds who glory in such inno-
cent amusement and are found In almost every
community. Let the friends of this cat watch
it closely for II the cat gets out of sight there
by hangs" no 'taip' by which 1t can be (t)raced.
This is the first known departure from the cat
egory of all ancient and modern catology. The
ed tail of Thomas and his race have been a sin
gle standing exception to the "mutabIlity of all
Things" This cat will have many trials and
will therefore be O fruitful client
1t will not be allowed to attend cat conven-
tions, the old Democratic rule since before the
days of Jackson requiring leach cat" To sit on
"each cats" tail. or course 1t must fall back ON
the old ina inmate maxim-"every (sltub must
sit on Its own bottom." Those jealous of the
superior accidents of its birth and its being a
County cat, will further claim that This is
cat-tails government" Many ignorant cats
from the country will also aristocratically claim
that an estate ''taiP' is much better than one
without u tail" For these and the further rea-
son that this cat cannot gracefully (but with a
kind of tilt turn sharp corner, IL will not sue
ceed rs a oiitician. 1t will always be in a mi
nority unless indeed 1t comes out at the tail end
which. for the first time In the worlds history,
1t will be an amiable cat, because II has not
the leverage with which to get it's back up
cat without n tail trying to "get its back up
Is too pnunny for even q sick man to think of.
Hal ha!
This cat will be valuable about BARNS" and
S"and like places. cause why the whole
cat 10 always close to the mellow.
BY intended blows or ''CHAN"ce kicks 1t will
often be seen "BoBb bing round, tho its natural
inclination will be to "CANBLE" calmly re- |
cline I'm the paper aforesaid, studying the Ills of
martyr "Olds."
II will never die a kilkenny death. 1t will be |
nearer n cataract than any OF Its race-Tecking |
being its natr, gait, for any one posted In fairs
very well knows there can be no graceful strait
"clean cat" trotting without ~ fiuency OF tail.
Farewell, cat. wish you well; but you will |
never receive much sympathy, for who, "tell !
me who" wants to stroke cat s back what ends |
SO abruptly?
shun bad company, cat, feline or humane. |
u Wrap yourself up (not In your tail-ah. nol In |
the solitude OF your own originality" and re-
solve
You'd better bear the ills you have-(not
Than fly to those you know not Of" Scat.
Yours, CAr-AwBA. !