Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1869-04-02
Blowing the Whistle.

blowing the Whistle.
A /" Yankee story" heard by US some
two years ago in England may not be
new to our readers, since its " texture
seems to show the cis-Atlantic loom. In
our opinion, however, it is so good that
we are tempted to give it at the risk OF
its being repetition
An Americana veritable "Down
Easter" and not to be mistaken for any
other stripe-was riding in an English
railway carriage, his sole companion be-
ing an Englishman, equally unmistaka-
BILE as typical "John Bull" They
were strangers to one another, and had
travelled some five miles or more without
a word passing between them.
The whistle" was heard, interrupting
their unsociable meditations when the
Yankee, whose curiosity could not any
longer be kept in restraint, asked what
it was for.
Aw-aw p yawned the Britisher.-
"Signal-we are gawing to stop at sta
tion."
Jonathan craned his neck out of the
window, but could see no sign Of sta
tion. He said SO to his travelling COM
panion.
Of course you cawn't see it." was
the reply. It's more than five miles
from heaw. Our railways make such
speed, it is absolutely necessary to sound
the signal five miles off, to give the en-
gineer time to stop off his steam, put on
the bweak, and suspend the motion. l
pwesume you don't make such speed on
the other side of the Atwantic ?''
" Wal, stranger" somewhat tartly re-
Joined Jonathan, seeing that his national
ity was discovered, we make considera-
BILE time t'other side too We tried the
whistle, but it wouldn't do nohow. 1
deestinctly remember, travelin' on a train
atween Bosting and the Green Mount
ings of Yarmouth, ON which was con-
ductor who depended on his whistle
Wal, as we were streakin' along, we seed
bout ten miles ahead a team of oxen
and a wagon with their driver whippin'
'em acrosst the rails. Our conductor or
dered the loudest kind of screech on the
whistle and that was the last thing /
heard, 'ceptin' a ALFRED smash, that
knocked sound out of my ears, and day
light out of my eyes. / reckon / must
"a been dead for more'n five minutes.
"When l kim to my senses agin, l
seed the wagon lynn on the railway track
broke up into spokes, the oxen knocked
into squash, and the driver lyin' dead on
one of 'em. And besides the hui of the
railway cars wur off the track the pas
sengers crushed and squirmin' and the
conductor 1yin' close by the engine, look
in as if he'd been drawed and quarter
ed. jest at that minute the whistle he'd
ordered to be sounded bout ten miles
back came past but it came too late.
Yes stranger we tried the thing in the
States. 1t wouldn't do. 1t wasn't quick
enough, and were now usin' electric
lights"
John Bull, who as matter of course
was provided with Times newspaper,
made no rejoinder but unfolding the
broad sheet, and raising it so as to hide
his ruddy face, remained absorbed in its
contents during the rest Of the .iourney.
MAxIMs FOR YOUNG LADIES
scream unless you are frightened.
A narrowness Of waist shows a mar
rowness OF. mind.
1t is fine silk that knows no turning. |
Practice Con piano) makes perfect. /
The true test of mans temper is to 4
keep him waiting ten minutes for his |
dinner.
Never faint when you are alone. AL
ways select some good opportunity or
young man. The more persons there
are about you the more successful will
be your faint. A woman should not on
Iy faint well, but be above suspicion.