Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1869-03-13
Fhe Cookroach.
M JOSH BILLIN0s.


The eOokroaeh is a bug at large,
lilo is one oV The luNuries OV civ
ili1alion,
lie is easy TO domestikaie, yield
ing gracefully 10 ordinary kindness
and never descrting those who show
him proper acts Of courtesy,
Wo are led TO bolive, upon elus'
examination Oy tho outward crusI
ov these fashionable insects, that
they aro a highly successful intor
marriage between the brunette piss
mira and tho 'ariikiIus bero, or com,
mon American grasshopper,
lie don't leave the place he wuS
born upon the slightest proVocatlon
like the giddy aud ysgrant flea, or
the itrocious bed bugg aud until
death (or sOmc vile powder, tho in
vcnShun ov mani knocks at hiZ
front door, he AMI hiz brothers aud
sisters may be seen with tho naked
oye, ever aud anon calmly climbing
the white sugar bowl or running
foot races between the butter plates,
The cockroach IL born on the fhst
ov May and the ihst Of November
semi annually, and is rcddy for use
In fifteen days from dato,
They are born from an egg, four
from each egg, and consequently
they are all ov them twins, There is
no sich thing in the annals ov nGtur
us n single cockroach.
Tho maternal bug, don't sot npon
tho egg MS the goose doth, but leaves
them lie around loose, like n pint of
split mustard seed, and don't seem
tow care a darn whether they get
ripe or not.
But / never knew n cocl;roach
egg fail tcw put in an appearance.
They are rs sure tew hatch out and
run as Kanada thistlcs, or bad
kuld. ...
The cockroach is of two colors,
sorrel and black. They are always
on the move, and kan trot milo, |
should say, on good day, cluss to
three minuitts.
There food seems to consist, not
so much in what they eat rs what
they travel, and often finding them
dead in my soup at the boarding
house, | have cum to the conclusion
that cockroach cant swim, but
can float. .......... ....
Naturalsts have SO declared that
the cockroach has no double teeth.
This is an important fackt, and
ought tew be introduced into all
the primary schools of Amcrika.
But the most interesting feature
of this remarkable bugg is the love
illness ov their natures. They kNnt
bite or sting, nor skratch, nor even
jaw back. They are so amiable that
have even known them go get
stuck in tho butter, and lay there
all day, and not holler for help, and
aktuaIIy die at last with broken
heart
To realize the mcckncss Of these
accomplishing little fcllors, let the
philosophick mind just for one mo-
ment compare them to the pcsky
fcn, who lights upon man in bis
strength and woman in her weak
ness like q red hot shot; or toe tho
warbling mnskcto, wild from q MI
icrsy cat-tail marsh, with hiz dag
gor in hiz mouth ackcing for blood;
or--horror of horrors. s..--to tho mid
night bed bugS. who crcors out ov
q crack az still and az lean az q
shadow, and bitches on TO the bosom
ov buty like starved lccch.
Evry man has right to pick his
playmatcs, but az for me, / had
rather visit knee deep among cock
roachcs than to hear the dying cm
bers ov q single muslceter's song
in the room jineing, tew know that
tharo waz just one bed bug i'll the
world and he was waiting for mi kan.
die to go out and for me to pitch
into bed. 'A
In conclusion, to show that aint
fooling, l would be willing, ifI had
them, to swarp ten fnst-class fleas
any time for small sized cockroach,
and if the feller complained that |
had shaved him in the trade |
would return the cockroach, and
sware that we waz even. '.~.