Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-01-22
HunOr.

this naberhood. Last Friday I went over to
the school lust to see how Nancy was gettin'
along and 1 sees things didn't like by no
means. The school master was larnln, her
things entirely out of the line Of eddycation,
and. as think, improper, set a while IN
the school house and heard one class say their
lesson. They was aspellin, and l thot spell
led quite exceedingly. Then cum Nancy's
turn to saw her lesson. She said it very
snrv I was shockt! and determined she
shonld leave that school. [ have heard that
grammar was an uncommon tine study put
| don't want any more grammar about my
house The lesson that Nancy aed was
nothin' but the fool;shest kind Nv talk the
ridiculest luz talk yu ever seed. She got
nm and the first word she sed wus, II love !"
looked rite at her hard, for doing SO i'm
nroner but she went rite on and sed: "Ihou
lowest. he lowest" and I reckon you never
heard such riggermyrole in your life
love, love, love, and nothing but love. She
sed one time, II did love-"
Sez T. "Who did you love? Then the
scholars lated, but wasn't to be put OF,
and / sed, "who did you love, Nancy l
war to know. who did you love ?" The
school master, Mr.. McQuillister, put in, and
he said he would explain when Nancy mn
ished the lesson. This sorter pacyhed me,
and Nance went on with awful luz talk. It
DOT wus and wus every word, She sed, u
might, could, or would love-"
stopped her agin, and sed reckon !
:. Iso ~ ohont that. and told her to walk
ont that house. The school master tried to
interfere. but 1 wouldn't let him say word.
He sed was fool, and nockt him down
and made him boiler in short order. taukt
the strate thing to him. told him fde
show him how hede learn my darter gramer.
cot the nabers together, and we sent
Mr. McOuillister offin hurry, and reck.
IN that there'n be no more gramer teechln
in these parts soon. Ifyou knew Of any
rather oldtsh man in your regeon that doant
teech gramer, we would be glad if you wood
send him up. But in the footer we Will De
keerful how we employ men. Young school
masters won't do especially if they teeches
eramer. It's a bad thing for morris. Yours
till deth,
THOMAS JgFrEnsog Sole,
Cato does you know dem Johnsings, up
dar in Congo place, is goin' to be very spec
table folks ~ "Well, Scipio, | thought dey
war getting along berry well, but l dosnt
know how Spectacle dey is" chow spec
.hont tree thousand dollars" "More spec
table dan dat" "Well, how spectacle is
dew" "Why five thousand dollars an a
bonse an lot.." "Why! Goodbye, Cato,
I must give 'em call.
shoemaker received note from lady
whom he was particularly attached, request.
inc him to make her new pair OF enoes
and not knowing exactly the style sue re-
an;red. he dispatched a written nnsslVe 10
e. wbether she would like them to be
s.Wround or Squire Toad?" The lady IN
dianant at this rich specimen of photography
replied "Kneether.
UNcLE.-"I dare say when l take you o,
home again. Charlie, your mamma VIII
have nice present for you. What would
vo,, like best, my boy---a little brother Or
little sister p NV =
Charlie latter some hesitation ---"Well, II
e. makes no difference to ma, I'd rather have
little pony"
An advocate Of total abstinence was once
ureing confirmed topper to forego his favor
tie Monongehala, and substitute water IN It's
stead declaring the claims water possessed
over all other fluids as beverage.
II know" said Tirsy, "water is fine
thing. but then it is 50 blamed thin"
Loys.-A matter-of- fact philosopher as
serts that sloye is to domestic life what but
ter is to bread-it possesses little nourlsh-
meat in itself, but gives substantials grand
relish without which they would be hard to
swallow"
A lady who had read of the manufacture
of odometers, to tell how far o carriage had
run. said she wished some genius would in
vent an instrument to tell how far husbands
had been in the evening when they just step
ned down to the Post Office.
A clergyman says it is curious to note
how many people attend circus "only be-
cause they want to please their children but
still more curious to observe that in many
instances it takes two or three aole bodied
men, with as many women, to look after one
little boy or girl"
s'fIow old is your mamma 2" asked q
,oyer-smitten old bachelor of the daughter
of the widow who had encountered him.
II don't know, sir; mas age varies from
about forty three to twenty-five" was the
artaess reply: and the bachelor was olsen
ehanted
The young man who recently fell in love
saws that when he asscertained the other
evening that his passion was recipfocated, he
felt as though he was sitting on the roof Of
a meeting house and every single was
Jewsharp.
A lady asked her little girl, on returning
from church, if she knew the text? "Oh,
YES" said she, sit was this, The lady dies
sewing society will meet at Mrs McCracken's
house Monday evening next.
"Pompey," said good natured gentle
man to bis colored man, 81 did not know that
YOU had been whipped last week."
'sDidn't you, nassau replied Pompey
81 know'd it Jest de same time it occurred :
A young man, ''illiterate but polite" OF
being invited to attend wedding, sent
note in response, saying, II regret that cir
cumstances repugnant to the acquiesce vii
prevent my acceptance of the invite"
"Why do women spend so much time an
money on dress? asked a gentlemen of
belle. "To worry other women" was tn
diabolical but truthful reply.
An Irishman said that if few gooseberl'
give SO fine favor to an apple pie, that $
would be darlint of an apple pie that WI
made of gooseberries intirely"