The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-08-20
dIfif ats Outttur.


aI'it ans 0utttut.
Sheet music-Snoring.
- Paper-cutfs -.Ncwspaperattaeks.
"A superior corn charlottesville
"A legal conveyance The police
van.
- Ringleader-the parson at the
marriage service.
- Old maids lisprove the provcrb
MAN PROPOSES
When a maiden gets married she
ends miss spent life.
-Ifthe doctor orders bark has not
the patient right to growl9
- Ladies' wear corsets from instinct
"a natural love for beng squeezed.
- Several horses in stall are al
way to be considered near neigh-bores
What is the difference between
q matchmaker and jailel? The one
sells watches, aad the other watches
cells.
- It is very we'll to advise people
to take the bull by the horns. hut what
will the bull ore-said be about all the
time?
til have very little respect for the
ties of this world" as the chap said
when the rope was tied around his
neck.
- The following is probably the
worst conundrum ever penetrated
WHY is a dogs tail like an old man ?
Because it is intirm.
Polite smoker, at the side OF
railway car--"Ailow me to assist you
to alight ~ Severe old lady-"rhank
you, do not smoked"
- Why are Young ladies at break
ing up of party, like arrows? BE-
ca,lse they can't go off without II beam
and are in II CULVER until they get one.
--"Anythirg bite you dare 2" in
ouireu one Dutchman otanother, while
engaged ii angling. No, not ing at
ALL We'll Y'returneu the other, not
in q bite me too. .
NANNY! SAID precious little
boy, who against his will, WIS made to
the Lord has amy more babies 10 give
away. don't you take 'em."
"A gentleman, e wing a lecture to
some boys. was explaining how no one
could live without air. He then said:
You have all heard OF Il man drowning
how does that happen? The ready a.
swer was: Cause he can't SWIM
-',Jim,' said one yonngster to an
other on the Fourth: y in. lend me
two cents will yer! got up so early
that spent all my money before
breakfast. didn't think the day was
going so be SO long
II wish You had been Eve,' said
an urehin to u stingy old aunt, pro-
verbal tor her meanness. why SOP
sBecaHse,' said he, 'you would have
eaten all the apple, instead OF dividing
it with Adam.
-"Pa, will You answer me a ques-
tiony" Certainly, my boy well,
pa, is the world round 2 Yes. of
course We'll, then, pa, if The world
is round, how can it come to an end!'
sThere now It latii do; you can run Jut
and play
Judge Rookie, in going the west
ern circuit. had great stone thrown
at his head; but, from the circumstance
OF his stoopmg very much, It passed
over hun. on see, said he TO his
friends, that had / been an upright
Judge. l might have been killed
-. A celebrated Judge lad,a very
nenurious wife, who, on II recent occa-
Sion. receivdd Ibis friends in the draw
ing. room with single candle. Have |
the goodness. my DEAR said his lord
shin. ITO let us have second candle,
that we may see where the other stands.
Two gentleman. one named |
Woodcoek. the other FILLER. walking
together. happening to see an owl. the
LATER said. That bird Is very much like /
n Woodcock.' .You IRE very wrong
said the first, for its Fuller in the
head. Fuller in the eyes, and Fullerail
over
Not Married. In one of the |
,onrts, few day since, II very pretty |
coung lady appeared as witness.
Her testimony was like ~ to result I'M
Tortunntely for the clirnt OF pert |
Young LAWYER. who addressed her very |
supcrciliously with he Inquiry:
'You are married, 1 believe"
NO. sir
Only wish TO p
Really, don't know. Would you
advise such step|
oh. certainly! am a married man
myself
is it possible! never snOUlu nave
thought it. Is your wife blind or
deaf!'
1t is scarcely necessary to add that
the discounted attorney did not vouch-
safe reply.
"a gentleman was chatting with
a little girl on rairay train. when
she suddenly looked up in his face and
said
'You look like Abraham Lincoln
DO 2 said the gentleman; how do
YOU know I'm not?
sHc's dead said the child. with an
astontshed look at the questioner; they
killed him y
sWell,' said the gentleman, but didn't
Abraham Lincoln have brotherY
The child looked puzzled for min
ute. and theC quitely remarked:
sMy father saw Abraham llncOln.'
did he?' asked the gentleman.
Yes; after he was dead lie saw him.
Did Won ever see him 2
No. said the gentleman. ~ never
saw uim.'
Then said the child. triumphantly,
of course you amt his BROTHER