Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-10-30

titled The I~nnOcents Abroad, or the
New Pilgrims Progress" is now out
and ready for delivery to subscribers.
1t is a superbly executed volume of
go pages, containing 234 beautiful
steel plate engravings issued by Wet
Teton & Co., I6l Elm street, Cincin-
natl. 1t contains an account of a
pleasure trip from New York to
Palestine and back through France,
Spain, Italy, Morocco, Turkey, Egypt,
&c, a distance of twenty thousand
miles by sea and land, and is in the
authors inimitable and best vein. II
is a gem, full of wit, satire and fun,
sparkling like diamonds, and will
make one laugh and grow fat, besides
being fail of interesting details and
facts which cannot fail to be instruc-
tive. We append the following sam
pie:
From earliest infancy it has been a
cherished ambition of mine to be
shaved some day in a palatial barber
shop of Paris. / wished to recline at
full length in a cushioned invalid
chair, with pictures about me, and
sumptuOus furniture; with frescOed
walls and gilded arches above me,
and VistaS of C%Orinthian columns
stretching far before me; with per-
fumes of Araby to intOXicate my
senses, and the slumbrous drOne of
distant noises to sOOth me to sleep.
At the-end of an hour | would wake
up regretfully and find my face as
smooth and as soft as an infants. De
parting, / would lift my hands above
the BARRIERS head and say, Heaven
bless you, my sOn!'
SO we searched high and low for a
BARRIERS shop. We entered one, and
| said / wanted to be shaved. The
barber inquired where my room was.
| said, never mind where my room
was, l wanted to be ShaVed,-there,
on the spot. The doctor said he would
be shaved also. Then there was an
excitement among these two BARRIERS!
There was a wild consultation, and
afterwards a hurrying to and fro
and a feverish gathering up of razorS
from obscure places and a r%ansacking
for soap. Next they took us into a
little mean, shabby b~ack-rOom; they
got two ordinary sitting-roOm chairs
and placed US in them, with our coats
on. My old, old dream of bliss van
ished into thin air!
/ sat bolt upright, silent, sad, and
solemn. One of the wig-making viii
lains lathered my face for ten terrible
minutes and finished by plastering a
mass of suds into nay mouth. Lex
PEELED the nasty stuff with Il strong
English expletive and said, Foreign
er, beware,' Then this outlaw strap
ped his razor on his boot, lowered
over me ominously for six fearful sec
onds, and then swoOped down upon
me like the genius of destruction.
The first rake of his razor loosened
the very hide from my face and lifted
me out of the chair. | stOrmed and
raved, and the other boys enjoyed it.
Their boards are not strong and thick.
Let us draw the curtain over this har-
rowing scene. Suffice it that / sub
mitted, and went through with the
cruel intlictiOn of a shave by a French
barber; tears of exquisite agony
cOursed down my cheeks, now and
then, but 1 survived. Then the in
cipient assassin held Il basin of water
Under my chin and stopped its con-
tents over my face, and into my bo-
som, and down the back of my neck,
with a mean pretenSe of washing
away the soap and blood. He dried
my features with a towel, and was
going to comb my hair, but Iasked to
be excused. l said, with whitening
j 0 ~, that it was sufficient to be skim
ned declined to be scalped.
l went away from there with my
handkerchief about my face, and
never, never, never desired to dream
of palatial Partisan barber shops any
more. The truth is, as l believe
have since found out, that they have
no barber shops worthy of the name,
in Paris-and no BARRIERS, either, for
that matter. The imposter who does
duty as a barber brings his pans and
napkins aud implements of torture to
your residence and deliberately skins
you in your private apartments. All, |
/ have suffered, suffered, suffered, here
i'm Paris, but never mind-the time is
coming when | shall have a dark and
revenge. Some day a Partisan
barber will come to my room to skin
me, and from that day forth, that bar
Der will never be heard Of more.