The Portland daily press., 1869-05-11
Male Fashions.


From the New York Ledgerl
The female fashions of to-day are absurd
enough; but ii anything more absurd than
mans 'stove-plpe hat was ever invented,
would like to see it. Mark its victims when
they remove it from their heads-wbich thew
seldom 40, the gods know why, unless they
are going into bed; see the red rim across
their foreheads, produced by its unwieldv
weight, and unnecessary inches up in the air !;
see them occasionally in the street, giving it
cock backwards, when nobody but apple
women are looking To observe how quickly
gentleman by that action may be made into
a roWdy; then see them apply their hand
kerchiefs to their fOreheads to cool off the
heat and the pain, and then with stoiclsm
worthy OF one OF Fox's martyrs, replace it,
and bear the long agony till they get home
Then what garment that woman ever wore
is more ridiculous than mans shirt, wheth-
er buttoning before or buttoning behind, or
disfgured with puerile studs" whether the
stiff collar stands up like picket ON guard,
or lays over, with necktie to tie it sufiocat-
ingly over the iugular vein. Then mark that
abomination "a swallow-taied coat
Heavens! how ugly the handsomest
may look in it and woe fol the plain men,
when they intensity their plainness with it,
Then see the knock-kneed and crooked-leg-
ged advertising their deiormity in tight pan
falcons; and short, tat barrel men wearing
little boys cloth caps ON their heads! All, for
every female goose that Fashion makes,
will find you male mate, even to the wear
ing of tight corsets! But, my friends, on one
point there's difference. When fashion,
able lady engages female servant, she stip-
ulates that she shall wear a cap on her head,
and calico on her back, to mark the differ
ence between herself and that servant, with
out which, suppose, it would not often be
rQpnOni7QhIQy Whom hap ri,
dinner, the male walters are dressed exactly
like himself-in festal white neckties, white
gloves and hideOus swallow-taed coats. How
is this ? 1t must be that the male creature is
very secure OF his social position, socially.
mentally, morally, and physically, to permit
such presumption-nay, to demand it. Can
any philosopher explain to me this mystery?
/ was struck midships" with the idea at
festal gathering not long since; and turning
TO my male guide, phisopher and friend,
asked what it meant. His irritating an
swer to this most proper and natural ques-
ton was, Fanny, don't be silly" l reiter-
ate my remark that mems dress is to the
ful as absurd in its way as woman's, and /
am only reconciled to the idea that man
was intended Ior human being when see
an athlete OF gymnast, of glorious chest and
calves, and splendid muscular arms, skim
ming the air as gracefully as bird, and as
POCbicdly buCH Il AuOW uOW clVlllZdLlOn mas
ruined himl know that man, if he Jumped
and ran, and wrestled, and walked, instead of
sitting stupidity in a chair in the house. or
creeping into an omnibus when out of it, and
smoking and going to sleep in the intervals,
would not be obliged to creep into these ugly
tailor's padded fashions to hide his DEFICIENCIES
but could wear what he chose, knowing that
the beautiful outlines of his form would glori-
~ any decent vestment. | walked several
blocks out Of my way behind man, the other
day, who positively stepped off," What
chest he had what splendid poise of the
head what free jubilant swing of the arm
hope he will come to New York again some
day, for I'm sure he was stranger to it, for
he neither stopped anywhere to take drink,
buy cigar, nor did he hail an omnibus
Magnificent giantl 1 wonder what was his
name, and had he a mother. II not-well, it
were pity he should not have.
FANNY FERN.