davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

THE Northerners carry their revolvers at
their backs in the centre of the waist band.
A very nervous Enghshman received this
piece of advice from an American, WAL,
stranger, if you get into an argument with
any crittur, an you see his hand stealing
gently round the hip-corner behind his back,
be certain sure he means mischief; only
don't you wait TO see; you out with your
siX-shoOter, for it's trifiing question as to
who gets the first shot. Now don't you stand
on no ceremony with that air argumenta-
tive cuss, but fix him with pea-bullet there
and then, as if he war de-yourin' reptile. :"
The Englishman thanked his friend, and was
always lodging about with his revolver,
first in one pocket, then in another, and
keeping his eye intently upon any stranger
with whom he happened to converse. One
day he met a cadaverous-looking Northerner
who (but he did not know this was suffer
ing severely from a lumbago. They con-
versed about the weather. and became rather
warm on the subject of rain. Suddenly the
lumbago man felt twinge in the small of
his back, and with a view to explaining the
effect of a change of weather upon him he
commenced slowly slipping his hand round
behind him to the part affected. "Waal,
stranger" says he, wincing with pain, and
his arm gradually disappearing, al guess
I've got "a" The Englishman did not wait
for the conclusion, but whipped out his Colt
and shot him dead.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

READY TO DIE.-The Gironde is responsible
for characteristic story of the late Narvaez,
Duke of Valencia and Prime Minister of Spain,
whose death we announced just month ago
His father confessor exhorted the Minister,
who was very near his end, to forgive his enc
mics. " My enemies ~ cried Narvaez, :" am
not aware that l have any" Every man
must have enemies" explained the priest, " no
matter how Christian-like and blameless his
life may have BEEN" :" am perfectly aware
that l have had many enemies" replied Mar
yaez, " but, happily, they are all dead. have
always had them shot"
1t is certain, at least, that his Holiness, the
Pope, on learning the condition of the Duke,
sent him by telegraph from Rome the apostle
lie blessing and general absolution," which he
had the consolation of receiving " at half-past
seven O'Clock in the morning, few hours be-
fore expiring"
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

MANY BODIED SAINTS. 1t may seem
strange that any uncertainty should exist as
to whether Mary Magdalen was the same per
son rs Mary, the sister OF Martha, or not,
yet not only is the point uncertain, but SO
strong is the evidence on both sides, II APP
pears absolutely understandable. Common
tradition, however, makes them the same, and
represents the Magdalen coming, with her
sister and Lazarus to Marseilles, where Laza-
rus was the first bishop, and taking up her
abode in Il cave called lie Saint Beaume, be-
tween Toulon and Marseilles. Her relics
were discovered in the thirteenth century al
St Maximins, and "were authoritatiyely
proved genuine by many monuments found
with them" Charles of Anjou, who had
been taken prisoner by the King of Aragon,
ascribed his liberation to the Magdalen, and
caused her remains TO be transferred, with
great pomp, TO the church he had built at
that place; and there they exist still. The
head is in a subterranean chapel, in gold
case set with large diamonds. 1t consists
only Of her skull, except small portion of
the forehead,-the spot where our Saviour is
said TO have touched her But there are
other claimants for the possession Of her
relics. As Calvin says, There followeth
after Lazarus and Magdeline his sister. As
touching him, he hath, as fare rs / know,
but three bodies; one is at Mersels. the other
at Autumn, the thyrd at Avalon. For
asmuch as Magdeline was a woman, it be-
hoved that she should be inferiour TO her
brother, therefore she hath but two bodies,
whereof the one is at Nesele, near Auserre,
and the other, which is of greater renome,
at ST. Maximins in Province. There where
the head is part, with her aoli me tdhgere,
whiehe is piece of wake, which some doe
thynke TO be the marke that Jesus Christ
gave her in despit because he was sorry that
she woulde touch him." The VeZelay one,
Butler suggests, may be that Of "some other
Mary mentioned in the Gospel" Calvin,
however, had never read Willibald's Trav
els" or he would have known that a third
body was at Ephesus, which the Greeks held
to be the genuine one, and which was trans
lated to Constantinople by Leo the wise. OF
the apostle chosen into the room of the trail
tor-St. Matthias-one body is in the abbey
church OF Rrier, another at St. Maria Maggiore
at Rome,-though this last may possibly be-
long to another Matthias, one OF the early
bishops of Jerusalem; and Calvin declares
there is another at Padua. "Besydes this,
he hath a head ande an arme parte likewise
at Rome - COrhhW Magazine.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

TABLE TALK" Only too pleased"
"only too happy" only too" this, that,
or the other, should be said when occasion
warrants the idea of excess, but not, as
many people use the phrase, to imply
merely an extreme. You may say, aptly
enough, of soldier, that he is only too
fond of fighting, only too ready to rush
forward to the first sight of the foe. Here
a distinct fault of exnberance is, of pur-
pose, imputed. But to tell your friend
that you will be only too glad to entertain
him for day or two, is to suggest an
awkward fancy that the visit may be,
though agreeable to you, rather inconveni-
ent to your household. Indeed, the phrase
only too" is oftener misapplied than used
in right meaning.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

A NEGRO in Natchez, Mississippi, bought,
his goods at the store of Radical, and pur-
chased, among other things, ten pounds of
sugar, because it was sold one cent per pound
less than at other stores. He afterward
boosted of how cheap he had bought the su-
gar to another merchant, who asked him to
bring him the ten pounds of sugar, which
being done, it was found to weigh scant
eight pounds, whereupon the crowd COM
himself to be cheated. The old fellow studi-
ed for a moment, and then said, "guess he
didn't cheat dis child much, for while he
was getting de sugar stole two pair of desc
shoes" and he brought them forth from his
pocket.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

was for my sins Eve miserable years, the SER
mon on founders day was always preached by
the bursar, who never came near the place ex-
cept on that day. am bound to add that he
was wonderful good fellow, and he not only
kept Office the whole time l was there, but be
regularly preached the same sermon, the sub
ject being the Prodigal son, as suited to Us
youth, and he began in his wise, the effect be-
ing heightened by the fine port wine tones Of
his manly voice =" Although, my dear boys,
there is every reason to suppose that the return
Of the prodigaI son was hailed with every de-
monstration of delight and welcome by his
disconsolate parents, there can unfortunately,
on the other hand, be no possible doubt that
he was a very dissipated young man."
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

THERE is not more excellent creature in
the world than Miss Potterpate, who is COVER
ness to the children of a friend of mine. I'm
fortunately for her, her person, like her ac-
quirements, is extremely solid, and is, in fact,
an admirable illustration of the proyerb, It's
as broad as it's long. One day she was ex-
hibiting some pictures on Scripture subjects,
amongst which was one representing angels
floating in the air on clouds. Master Tommy,
apparently very much struck by this, to him,
novel method of loeomotion, said, ' Are you
going to Heaven, dear Miss Potterpate P' /"
hope so, DEAR" said Miss P. "What a very
heavy angel you will make for the poor cloud
TO carry" observed Master Tommy with some
sagaeity.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

ONLY one drop OF water ut time that
had found its way from the mighty ocean
through the dyke, and was slowly wearing 4
little channel Only one dropl Yet if that
little child in her morning ranble had not
noticed it, who can tell what the terrible re-
suits might have beenf
Only stray sunbeam Yet perchance II
hath pierced some wretehed abode, gladden.
cd some stricken heart, or its golden light
found its way through the leafy branches of
some wild wood kissed the moss coved bank
where the tiny violet grew, and caused rich
shade of beauty to adorn its lovely form.
Only one stray bullet that pierced the no.
bic soldier boy as he trod the lonely mid
night round, faithfully guarding the precious
lives intrusted TO his keeping, yet the life
blood slowly ebbed out, and the morning
sunbeam fell upon the cold face Of the dead.
Only asentiDeli And yet one soul more
had passed from its earthly tenement, to
meet its reward at the hands of a merciful
God.
Only drop of ink And yet it has carried
the news of death TO anxious ones at home,
and caused the tear of anguish to trickle
down the furrowed cheek Of the widowed
mother.
Only word But II carries the poisonous
breath of SANDER, assailing the character. o,
how it pierced the lonely hearti
Only one glass And how many have filed
drunkard's grave through its influence.
How many homes made desolate. How
many bright anticipations of a glad and hap
py future blasted by its blighting influence.
Only cup of cold water given in the name
of a disciple, but it is not forgotten. Then
toll on, Christian; yours is glorious
work; hope on ever, for yours is bright
reward.
One soul snatched from the ways of sin
and degradation through your feeble efforts,
coupled with the grace of God, will add
lusture to your crown of glory, and speak
more for your happiness hereafter, than life
of selfish works.
Only lifetimel A short day in which to
prepare for death, for "as death oyertakes
US, so judgement will find us" Let us then
grid ON the armor anew, and press on, the
hope of brighter hereafter being our
talisman, using the weapons of prayer, lest
we enter into temptation, and lose the rich
reward of him who is faithful even unto
death.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

DURING the late oppressive heat, a duel
would have certainly taken place between two
Partisan notables but for the lack of energy
arising from the state Of the weather. The
cause, however, was novel Victor" said
Adolphe to his friend, "has insulted me. 1t
can only be wiped out with blood" :" Has he
run away with your Eifeg" asked the friend.
No." was the reply; "worse !" "AyeI he
has in this tropical July, sent me a ticket for
the theatre r.
fortnight sgo gave two French riddles
and insisted on Withholding the answers for q
fortnight I cannot say that the answers 1
have received are very happy. The real solu-
tons are as follows - Yoltsire's riddle, it
may be remembered, is,-My first is atyrsnt,
my second a monster, and my whole the very
devil but if you love my first, you won't fear
my second, and my whole is perfect bliss.
The answer Is Marriage.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
lee latest defence for crime. on the

The latest defence for crime, on the
ground of insanity, is after this style: "a
man who commits crime is not sane. In
the first place, when be does it, he sins
against himself; in the second place, he
sins against his fellow-man; and, in the
third place, be sins against his Creator
and, gentlemen of the jury. no man can do
these three things and be perfectly sane
man u
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
A pAR1s Observation-Disclosures fellow here

A PARIS correspondents minded fellow here
took by mistake a friends walking cane as
he was leaving his club, and laid it on his
table when he got home, and while he was
lighting his lamp. The latter once lighted,
he saw the stick lying on the table, and for
got how it came there. He took it into his
head that it was the stick of q burglar con-
cealed in his lodgings. BE is very timid, so
he quietly went down stairs and walked
about town all night, although he had no
umbrella, and it was raining Violently"
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

If electricity, in its wild and natural
state, be to a man furious and fitful
enemy. it is, when tanned and domesticated,
patient slave-an obsequious agent. For
each of the hundred freaks that it plays in
the one condition, there can be set of
some useful service that it performs in the
other The last electrical novelty is a
really safe and burglar-proof lock, one
which raises an alarm by ringing bell or
otherwise, if any key but the lawful one is
inserted in it, or if any attempt is made to
pick or force it. The principle of the con-
trivance can be easily understood. Wires
from battery, with bell in their course,
are led into the lock, and whenever piece
of metal is thrust into the keyhoIe, cir
cult is completed by which a current is
sent to agitate the bell. If one of the
tumblers alone be raised the bell also
sounds. The master-key does not raise
any alarm because it is covered with an
insulating compound which prevents the
establishment of the metallic connections
requisite for the passage of the current to
the bell, and likewise, because it lifts all
the tumblers at once. We have heard of
tell-tale locks, but these betray tampering
only after the mischief is done here is
protector that cries, "Stop thiefI' in good
time.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

"DoCToR," said an old lady the other day
to her family physician, "Kin you tell me
how it is that some folks are born dumb 81
"Why, hem, certainly madam" replied the
doctor; cit is owing the fact that they came
into the world without the power of speech u
La, mein remarked the old lady; "now
just see what it is to have physic educa-
toni I've axed my old man more nor hun
dred times that are same thing, and all that
could ever get out of him was, kase they
=.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

L BUY two cravats, which last me a
whole year. said the famous Bach a
black one and white one In about six
months, the one does duty for the other.
The black, by constant use, becomes rather
white, and the white turns very black"
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

A GREAT PIrr.-" Father Ignatius," the
sensational but often sensible London preach
er, says that since there are nine hundred mil
lions Of people in the world who don't believe
in Christ at all, it is a great pity that believ-
ers in Him should quarrel among themselves.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
For Sale 10y
& Co., San Francisco,
FAMILY DRUG STORE.

j. NJ. SMITH s. CO.,
HAVE RECEIVED PER LATE ARRIV-
Ii ais, a New Assortment of Drugs and
Medicines.
Sands SarsaparillA, Townsend's do.
Ayers do, Bristol's do, Shakers do,
Root do, Ayers Cherry Pectoral,
Balsam for the Lungs, Balsam of Wild
Cherry, HypOphosphites of Lime Soda,
Compound Extract Of Buchu, Capsules,
Thorn's Extract, Crossman's Specific,
Pills and 0intments. of various kinds,
Liniments, Plasters, Pectoral Fumigators,
spOnges, Hamburg-Tea, Lily White,
Fumigating Past1s, Trusses,
J. R. Cooks Nipples, Nipple Shields,
Lubin's and Pinaud's Extracts,
Toilet Articles, Lip Salve,
Indelible Pencils, New Invention,
Hair Restorers and Dressings,
Syringes, Leeches, etc., ETC., etc.
Drugs Of all kinds,
Corner Of Fort and Hotel streets. lift
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

A PHYSICIAN writes to the Dublin Jour
nal Of Medicine in support of the old no.
ton that people sleep much better with
their heads to the north. He has tried
the experiment in the case of sick persons
with marked effect, and insists that there
are known to exist great electrical cur
rents, always crossing in one direction
around the earth, and that our nervous
systems are in some mysterious way con-
nected with this electrical agent. Let
the beds all head toward the north pole.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

CoSTRADIcToRT.-The captain of rebel
privateer, who had been in an engagement,
wrote to his owners that he had received but
little damage, having had only one of his
hands wounded in the nose.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
RAILWAY g. CO.,
81 Maiden Lane, New York
TYPHOID FEVER.

This disease is not only cured by
DR.. Railways Relief and Pills, but pre-
vented. If exposed to it, put one tea
spoonful of Relief in a tumbler Of
water. Drink this before going out in
the morning, and several times during
the day. Take one of Railways Pills
one hour before dinner, and one on
going to bed.
If seized with Fever, take 4 to 6 Of
the Pills every six hours, until copious
discharges from the bowels take place;
also drink the Relief diluted with
water, and battle the entire surface Of
the body with Relief Soon a power
full perspiration will take place, and
you will feel a pleasant heat through
out the system. Keep on taking Relief
repeatedly, every four hours, also the
Pills. A cure will be sure to follow.
The reliefis strengthening, stimulating,
soothing, and quoting; it is sure to
break up the Fever and to neutralize
the poison. Let this treatment be fol-
lowed, and thousands Will be saved.
The same treatment in Fever and Ague,
Yellow Fever, Ship Fever, Bilious
Fever, will effect a cure in "a hours
When the patient feels the Reiefirrita-
ting or heating the skin, cure is posi-
tive. In all cases where pain is felt
the Relief should be used.
Relief so cts; Pills 25 cts. Sold
by all Druggists.
See Dr.. Roadway Almanac for 1868
For Sale 10y
Redington & Co., San Francisco,
Crane q Brigham, San Francisco,
r. II. Mcdonald & Co, San Francisco,
Justin Gates & Bro, Sacramento,
And by all Druggists and Country
III Merchants. lily
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
Assessors Notice.
NOTICE.

II NOW ALL PERSONS, that we,
n the undersigned, have this DAY appoiutsd
W. p STEVENS as our Agent, to collect All
rents due US, and make all leases Of lands b.
longing to Us.
D. KAMAIPELAPELA.
HUA.
Honolulu. May 30, 1s6s.-22-sm
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

Justice and Chancellor.
In the matter Of the Estate Of His late High
less, MATAI0 KEKUANA0A, deceased
ON READING and filing the PeiI-
" ton Of John o. Dominis, Administrator
of the Estate Of His late Highness, Mataio
Kekuanaoa, deceased. praying that all persons
interested. and particularly His Ex., F. W.
Hutchinson, II. II. NJ. Minister Of the Interior,
and W. c. Parke. Administrator Of the Estate
Of James Currie. deceased. appear and show
cause il any they have, why this Honorable
Court should not order. adjudge and decree.
that in virtue of a certain agreement in writ
ing, Of the Sd day Of January. 1912. made and
entered into between the said Mataio Kekua-
naoa and Jose Nadal, now deceased, the lands
and premises therein mentioned. and paFtica-
larry described in Land Commission Award
No. 1902, and the accompanying survey. did,
upon the death Of the said Jose Nadal. on or
about the Sd day Of August, 1850, revert 10
the said Mataio Kekuanaoa, his heirs aud as
signs, and also, that VIM. c. Parke, Admins
traitor Of the Estate Of James Currie late Of
Honolulu, deceased, who now holds possession
Of said premises. be ordered, adjudged and de-
creed, to make, execute and deliver 20 John o.
Dominis, Administrator Of the Estate Of the
said Mataio Kekuanaoa, and for the use and
benefit of said Estate, proper and Sufficient
deed of conveyance Of said premises and e=sry
part and parcel thereof.
IL is therefore ordered by this Honorable
Court, that all persons interested therein, be
and appear before the Hon. Elisha II. Allen,
Chief Justice Of the Supreme Court, and Chan
cellor, at his Chambers in the Court House in
Honolulu. on TUESDAY, the oath day Of
August next, at 10 O'Clock in the forenoon Of
that day, then and there to show cause, If any
they have, why the prayer Of the said petition
er, as above set forth. should not be granted.
Witness, the Hon. ELISHA II. ALLEN.
Chief Justice Of the Supreme Court, at
H.. 81 Honolulu, this 18th day Of July, A. D.
1869.
27-4D L. McCULLY. Clerk.
R. II. STANLEY, Solicitor for Petitioner.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
NOTICE.

UIHE UNDERSIGNED, HERERT
Il notify all persons. that We have this ssv
appointed W. P. STEVENS, 81 our a~cus.
with full power 70 collect AL rents. ana tsnns.
act all business pertaining 10 our property.
LUhNA,
Honolulu, June ., 1sss.-2z-sm
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
DRUGS & MEDICINES.
r. r. r.
go
OUT OF
100

Va @O@@~-
occur, are caused by Prevent
able Diseases, and the greater
portion of those complaints
would, if Railways Ready Re
lief or Pills, las the case may
require,) were administered
when pain or uneasiness or
slight sickness is experienced,
be exterminated from the sys-
TEN in a few hours. PAIN, no
matter from what cause, Is
almost instantly cured by the
Ready Relief. In cases Of Cho-
lera, Diarrhna, Cramps, Spasms
Bilious Cholic, in fact all Pains,
Aches and Infrmities either in
the Stomach, Bowels, Bladder,
Kidneys, or the Joints, Muscles,
Legs, Arms, Rheumatism, Neu-
algia, Fever and Ague, Head
ache, Toothache, &c, will IN a
FEW MINUTES yield to the
soothing influence of the Ready
Relief.
Sudden Colds, Coughs, Influenza, Dip
liberia. Hoarseness, Sore Throat, Chills, Fever
and Ague, Mercurial Pains, Scarlet Fever,
&c, &c, take from four 10 six of Railways
Pills, and also take a teaspoonful of the
Ready Relief in glass Of warm water, sweet
ened with sugar or honey battle the throat
head and chest with Ready Relief, (if Ague
or Intermittent Fever, battle the spine also,)
In the morning YOU will be cured.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
WILLIAM HUMPHREYS,
Deputy Clerk supreme Court
Honolulu, July goth 1s69.-27-td
Supreme Court of the Hawai-.
ian Islands--In EQUITY.

Before the Hon. ELISHA II. ALLEN. Chief
Justice and Chancellor.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04

In the matter Of the Estate Of HENRY ZUP-
PLIEN, Of Honolulu, Island Of Oahu.
deceased.
DROPER application having been
IL made TO the Honorable Elisha Allen. Chief
Justice Of the Supreme Court, by Charles r.
Bishop Esq, Administrator upon the estate Of
Henry Zupplien Of Honolulu, Oahu. deceased.
for permission to sell by private sale for the
best interest Of the said estate. certain piece
Of land situated on the mauka side Of King
Street. Honolnlu, adjoining Messrs Castle a
Cookies brick store containing about $50
square feet. Notice is hereby given to all person
whom II may concern that Saturday the 9Th
Of August next at 10 o'clock in the forenoon Is
day and hour appointed. for hearing the appli-
cation aforesaid, and all objections that may
be offered thereto, at the Court House, Homo
lulu.
WILLIAM HUMPHREYS,
Deputy Clerk Supreme Court.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1869-08-04
Notice to Creditors.
Administrators Notice.

VHE UNDERSIGNED, Adminis-
Il traitor Of the Estate Of the late JAMES
CURRIE, requests all persons indebted 70 said
Estate to make immediate payment Of the
same, and all persons having any claims on
said Estate 70 present them Immediately.
W. c. PARKE,
Z6-4t Administrator