Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1869-07-01
A CURTAIN LECTURE.

Caudle, Caudle, rake up Caudle I
want to talk to you've hardly talked
any this day. You say "Don't let's
talk now! Well, but I uiU talk. am
determined to assert my rights sometimes
Actually object to your wife's speaking to
you! This comes from humoring you
tS-ssfsit do wantto talk about " " hat
that to you? $50 ahead" Well that's
not the way to speak to your wife-but
it's been on my mind ever since I read
Fridays Enquirer Capital paper Caudle)
to ask you whether you are going to regis
ter? You amt Now, Caudle, remem-
Der how foolish you were in not register
ing before--the ridiculous excuses you
made, you and fifty other lazy boobies Qhe
Enquirer calls 'em Bourbons) in the coun-
ty like you. You had the rheumatism
your ankle was sprained-you had all the
complaints of the afflicted patriarch with
out his consolation you had the sores of
JOB without bis philosophy-the ulcers
Of Lazarus without bis reversion in Abra-
hams bosom
What! you have heard me say that
before! No, Caudle, you never did I
don't often repeat, but do now, and will
do it again-you hare got to Register,
and that amt dZ-you have got to-.
"You are not going to do it?" Now,
Csudle. don't be committing yourself
for my mind is made up. Willing to
register well, of course you are-tut
won't do it p Caulle, this is downright
rebellion You won't let the women vote,
and you men have got to cote. Are you
going to keep dawdling and mounting and
fault-fndihg about home here with your
hands in your pockets, while the negroes
are voting away the very ground from
under your feet? Are you going to do
it, Caudle Caudle-I do believe the man
has gone to sleep--Caudle, [ say, Caudle,
speak to me, and don't lie there snoring
with your mouth open like fy-trap.-
Are you going to sit still and let the ne
groes set up their mixed schools, and
make our little Laura Ann learn her les
sons out of the same book with Syphax
Brown She is exactly like you, Candle,
except that she is not freckled and bow
legged.
What .. it is against your principle to
vote for a Republican ? Now. Caudle [
don't ask you to set up for Solomon
am a reasonable woman, Caudle-but you
needn't be lunatic. Is there any sac
rifce ofon sensible principle, to secure a
second choice when you can't get your
first? If you had the collie, and couldn't
get that dear man DR.. Sweetoil, would
you not send for old Jones IF you can't
get Withcrs, why not take Walker Prin-
cipIe as if there is any principle in no
making the best Of circumstances. What ,
you are tired Of politics, and must talk,
of something else Well, will. Have
you made Ben Oliver pay you that 5000
yet Caudle? You say you have COM
promised the debtat fifty cents in the
dollar ? Now, Caudle, if he owed you part
didn't he owe you all ? What-he was
going to make deed, and if you had Mt
compromised for half, you would have got
nothing? According to your principles
(Which I don't think much of, Caudle },
as you couldn't get all your dues, you
should have taken nothing. Principles !
Caudle, why don't you put that lot that
you guanoed SO heavily in tobacco You
say the fly has eaten up your plants, and
so to make the best of bad bargain you
will put the lot in corn ? Now, Caudle,
see that you don't lose the little sense you
have for your sky-creeping notions when
it comes to your private affairs-you are
keen enough then, Caudle. 1t is only
when the loss falls on the public that you
indulge the luxury of a highJRier.
What, you say / prose too much !
You expect me to talk poetry do you ?
Then listen Caude:
"Whither mid falling dew.
While glow the heavens with the last steps of
day,
Far through their rosy depth dost thou pursue
Thy solitary way ?
s'Vainly the fowler's eye
MAY mark thv distant course to do thee wrong,
As darkly painted on the crimson sky
Thy figure floats along"
What pity, Caudle, that that magnif-
icent hgh-fier should have turned out to
be only wild goose at last All cloud
clevers are not eagles, Caudle-though
many 'fy-up-the- creek takes it into his
little noddle that he is Ay-up-the-sky-
You don't know of any difference be-
tween Walker and Wells? Nonsense,
don't you know it from Bulls foot Z? Well!
don't talk to me of Wells. I'd as soon
hear tell Of the slime-pits of Sodom. l
trembled whenever I put letter in the
post-office. s'You don't know of any diff
ference" No, Caudle. you want me to
sing in the choir with Sukey Blueskin. ~
You want to degrade your poor wife and
hildror,-ronr moor Rntsu mhn lnft hnr