Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-09-25
Christopher Colombo.

We extract the following from Mark Twain
"New Pilgrims Progress" just out. The party
amused themselves, and nearly drove the guide
crazy at Genoa, by pretending utter stupidity
and indifference to any wonders he had to show
After this style:
The guides in Genoa are delighted to secure
an American because Americans so much won.
der, and deal so much in sentiment and emotion
| before any relic of Columbus Our guide there
| fdgeted about if he had swallowed a spring
mattress. He was full of animation-ful of i'm
patience. He said:
you re letter writing by Christopher Colombo
write it himself write it wis his own hand
come !'
He took US to the municipal palace. After
much and impressive fumbling of keys and open
ing of locks, the stained and aged document was
laid before us. The guides eyes sparkled. He
danced about and touched the parchment with
his finger.
"What tell you genteelmen Is it not so ?
See handwriting Christopher Colombo write
it himself''
We looked indifferent - unconcerned. The
doctor examined the document very deliberately,
during painful pause. Then he said, without
any show of interest:
-what-what did you say was
"Cbristopher Colombo re great Christopher
Colombo
Another deliberate examination.
"Ah-did he write it himself or-or how ??
He write it himself !-Christophe Colombo |
he's own handwriting write by himsefl'
Then the doctor laid the document down and
said:
"Why, have seen boys in America, only four
teen years old that could write better than that
&C But Zis liz re great ChristO-'
~ don't care who it is It's the worst writ
ing ever saw. Now, you must think you can
impose on us because we are strangers. If you
got any specimens of penmanship of real merit,
trot them out and if you haven't, drite on p
We drove on. The guide was considerably
shaken up. but be made one more venture. He
had something which he thought would over
come US. He said
"An genteelmau, you come wiz me i show
you beautiful, o. magnificent Christopher
Colombo splendid, grand, magnificent u
He brought US before the beautiful bust-for
it was beautiful-and sprang back and struck
attitude.
"Ah, look genteelman beautiful, grand,
3ust-Christopher Colombo beautiful bust,
beautiful pedestal p
The doctor put up his eye glass-procured for
such occasions:
"Ah, what did you say this gentleman's name
wasp
christopher Colombo-ze great Christopher
Colombo ~
Christopher Colombo-the great Christopher
Colombo. WELL what did he do ~.
"Discover America discover perica Oh,
re devil p
discover America. No-that statement will
hardly wash. We are just from America our
selves. We heard nothing about it. Christie
pher Colombo-pleasant name is he dead?'
"Oh, eOrp0 di Baeeho! - three hundred
years?'
"What did he die of?''
81 do not know cannot tell ~
"Small pox, think p
81 do not know, genteelmen do not know
what be die ofl's
Measles, lkely?''
"May be-do not know think he die Of
something's"
Parents living p
Im-posseeble !"
"Ah, which is the bust and which is the
pedestal?"
"Santa Maria lis re bust zis re pedestal ~
"Ah, ] see, ] see happy combination-very
happy combination, indeed. Is this the first
time this gentleman was ever on a bust?'