Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1869-10-29

"A IA AnACdA gut AlAA A~As MA~ eAeA-a
into a tune
Alphebetical admonitiOn-A word
to the "Y's."
Floating capitalize heiresses bath
ing at Long Braneh.
Pendleton's bitters-Ohio election
returns.
DR.. Livingstone has arrived at Nlyi;
but is that higher homer
Sunday is the strongest day in the
week. The rest are all week days.
The most peaceable way to have
knockdown is TO get up an auction.
"WeH. Bridget, can you scour tim
ware with alacTity2" mo, mum, I all
ways scour them with sand.
Mark Twain used to feed Nevada
quartz mill at Sl5 a week.
The new ehignon is out. 10 hangs
down the back, and costs 81; fax 80
hair.
'Pa, what is the use Of giving our
pigs so much milk 2" 80 that they
may make hogs Of themselves, dar-
ling.
Dr. Leggs has accomplished the boot
less feat of Hanslating the Chinese
classics. the first volume of which is
already published in calf.
Ex President Pierce graduated at
Bowdo in College in 1924, In the same
class with Henry w. LongfelloH.
Joe Jefferson and son are cunning
in Henry County, Ohio. Old Rips
foWling iren was left at home.
A hibernian senator, speaking oil sui
eide, said "The only way to stop it
is to make it q capital offence, punish
able with death"
Isn't it strange, remarked q lady
that the Miss Smiths are so gross n
Not at all, " was the reply, their ia
ther was grocer
It is gratifying to be assured chat af-
ter the great gold conspiracy burst,
Jay Gould was for three days a non
est man.
a westward bound passenger was
lately surprised By the following an
nouncement Of the conductor: Chi
eago-6fteen minutes for divorces,
Joseph Medil, editor Of the Chicago
Tribune, visited Canton, Ohio, a few
days ago, where his mothers family
lives.
a lazy fellow on being reproved for
lying in bed so late in the morning eX-
planned 81 am obliged to do it in or
der to invent excuses for not getting
up"
Georgia fashionables cultivate calico
parties. "Lst fun be the object, and
not display" says the Columbus Sun.
Oliver Dyer once dug potatoes at
sixty two and a half cents a day lf he
had kept digging, ''the Wiokedest Man
in New York" would have been buried
with the potatoes.
A bilIet-douz did william send.
To tell the love that burned himi
But it was more like Billy dOnt!- -
The answer she returned him.
-TBoston Commercial Bulletin.
Old Shafer. of Prairie Ronde, illus
trates that avarice which OVerreaches
itself by the example Of a neighbOr
who sets q fourteen-egg hen o nine
tea eggs.
Morgan Smith, the oolored trage-
dian, is making a sensation as "Ihe
Slave, in the English theatres.
Josh Billings defines a "thurrer
bread biziness man" as "Wun that
knows enuff about steelin s0't there
kant ennybody steel from him, and
enuf about law 80 that be can do his
own steelin' legally
In Washington Territory is an inn
mense cranberry marsh, which grows
100 600 bushels of berries year. All
wasted.
A lady, out with her little boy and
girl, bought the boy a rubber balloon,
which escaped him. and few, up in the
air. The girl seeing tears in bic eyes,
said Never mind, Neddy; when
you die and go to heaven you'll dit TO-"
Hon. Godlove s. Orth is in Wash
ingtoB, where God love is more need
ed and less appreciated than iu any 9th
er part of the country IeTEe Haute
Express.
A Chicago physician. much devoted
to real estate speeulations, and rather
absent-minded, replied to the question
Of lady how his prescription was 90
be taken 'One quarter down bal
ance in one, two, and three years.
A kind physician wishing to smooth
the last hours of poor woman, asked
her if there was any thing he could do
for her. Looking up she replied
Doctor. I have always thought that /
would like 70 have a glass butter-dlsh
before I died r
A New York correspondent says
"Frederick Hudson was offered $4,000
a year by the publishers of the Times,
to take Mr.. BigelOWs place. but be
| prefers managing his farm i'm Connect
cut to managing a newspaper In New
York"
Dear me, exclaimed StiPgins, that
new eurgeon gave Squantum's boy a
new lip from the child's own cheek !
What a painful operation it must have
been ~ "L've had pair Of lips taken
! from my cheek more than once, re-
piled Mrs. StiRgins, aud it wasn't q
painful operation at all"
Miss Kate Field makes her debut 10
Boston, on the lecture platform, on
the 2Oth inst. She only returned a few
! days ago, from a second trip 20 the
Adirondacks, where she boasts Of have
| ing shot q fine buck Weighing 200 lbs
and insists thatshe shot 10 Legitimate
| lly, nobody holding 10 by the tail she
never before having handled q rife.
A lawyer once asked a Dutohman,
! concerning a pig, in court:
/ "What ear-marks had he p
well, ven / first became acquainted
NIT de hook, he had no ear-marks exc
oept a very short tail"
tits said that General Banks learn
I ed the printing trade, when g y0uu
man, In the Office of the Boston Irlv-
eller. Mrs Banks, when q GIRL also
worked ia the same office. They lelt
the Traveller Office 10 start weekly
paper 10 Waltham, Massachusetts,
which was carried on successfully for
some time. with the aid Of one Sour
/ printer.
Julius, s. pose doro are six chickens
in COOP. and the man sells tree, how
many are dere left2'
"What time oh day was it p
"What time ob day was itf Why