Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1869-05-22
IRISH WIT.

No one WHO Knows tue nabifo Ai
mar will question bis talent for wit,
though some msy have doubts OF bis
"cu.eness." We are not among the lat
ter, aud an episode occurring 10 our
youth, upon the green SOD" ITSELF gives
proof that Pa: ie sometimes as cute az the
sharpest " Yak" in Connecticut, not even
excepting the famed manufacturer OF
wooden nutrnegs.
Tobacco. spun 10 long ropes and rolled
into a cbeese-lika c~oil-Limerick twist,
it Is called has always been the faVoEite
shape for d~isposine of the weed IN Ire
land. For 8 long period of years the
price stood at three pence per ounce !;
bat rs Paddy Was rarely 10 pocket to
purchase g whole ounce, ne had q ball
oae for three " happens"
A change came. caused ey an iRcrsas'
ed tag, under which the retailer was com
PEELED to raise the price Of the ounce to
three pence balf.penny. At the SAME
time the half ounce, out 81 sil fair pro-
portion, and solely 60 accommodate the
coin, rose TO two pence. II was q terri
bic GRIFFIN The small purchaser, who vas
usually also a great smoker. Failing TO
have the cash for such /. wholesale trans
action as the purchase of 40 ounce, he
bad TO pay two-thirds of the old price for
E half one.
1t was q great cause Of general aud
bitter chsgrin, but there was one man
who continued tc escape it. He was a
certain Michael Burns, well known in my
native a~eighborhood as a seeker OF chari-
ty. and generally believed TO be what is
called 8 "hs!f witted fellow" In my
presence, be did xdeed that proved bin
TO have whole wit and something over.
chsnced to be in a country tobscconIst's
store-shop, as called in the land OF my
Ds.ivisy-kept By 8 native OF the purest
breed. Mike came in, and | lisAened to
the following dialogue
"Fwhst's the price 'av yer bsccy !"
"Thruppens hay.penny the ounce"
"Be the bali. ounce 7"
"Tuppens, the half ounce"
"Be gorra ! that don't look fair. Tup-
pens for the half ounce I'D be fourpsns for
a whole wan."
"Troth, that's thrue. But yez see, as
x.rd,ns il no longer in cirkiistion, we
can't split the thruppsns hsy-penuy so as
TO make change. That's the difficulty"
sob that's it" said Mike. " Plsise
weigh me out a b .lf ounce
The t~obacconist did as requested, lay
ing the weighed pig-taii upon the coun-
ter.
"Thst's tuppens I" asked Mike.
"Tdppsus.'' responded the shopkeeper.
"ReHectiu' the thing over. | think
may SIS well 90 another half ounce. Will
veg plaize weigh it for me I"
"Av coorse | will, and the tobacconist
chucked a fresh cut of Limerick twist
into the scales. .8
As soon as the beam had shown hori.
zontal, be took it out5and placed ii be.
side the half ounce already on the coun-
ter. Mike looked st tue two scanning
them With 8 discriminating eye.
"This is tuppeps p be asked, taking up
the one first weighed.
CAV ooorse," answered the tobacco
mist.
AM this is three happens" said Mike,
raising the second piece of twist and ap-
psrently testing it's ponderosity.
"Av coorse," again answered the shop
keeper. "Ths two together makes a
whole ounce, and that's thruppens hay.
penny"
"Bs jsbess," ye're right about that.
The schoolmsstsr couldn't = added it up
bettber. But ] don't want the whole
ounce. I'm continted with a half wan
an. wild yer lave, naisther, I'll take this
wan, seeng it's the cheapest"
So saying, Mike pitched bis three hall
pence upeu the counter, picked up the
piece of Laserick twis4 last weighed and
sta'ked ont II the shop.
j, have sect chagr;u strongly depicted
on mems faces. but never stronger than
that Cd the c~ouL.enance Of the tobacco
mist. He felt himself so badly beaten
that, on leaving bis shops! saw the two
penny worth Of twist still lyiag untouoh'
ed upon the counter.
A great many valuable letters and
A. Nj