The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-08-14


A Hard-shell Baptist preached in
Washington lately, and took for his
text aGod nude man Sin His own
Image" He then comnenced: can
honest man is the noblest work OF God"
Then he made long pause, andlooking
searchingly around the audience, ex,
claimed: Shut I ,oHine God Almighty
hasn't had a job in this city for nigh on
to fifteen yearsl'
Fontenelle, when he was ut the age of
ninety, passed Madame Helvetius, whom
he did not see, without saluting her.
"How little ought to believe your COM
pliments," said the lady to him, after
dinnerAf'you nctually passed mo without
looking at me-" "Madame," replied the
antiquated beau, ''if I had looked at
you, never should have passed"
A Western editor, who has started
paper at Boise city, announces his pur-
pose thus: "Salutatory.-We have
started paper; name, Capital Chronicle;
principles, Democratic to the hilt; OBJ
ject, to make n living; Office, on Main
the Overland Hotel, opposite an old
oyster can in the road; and we'll run it
or bust"
SPARKLING AND BRIGHT IN LIQUID
LIGHT, ETC.-Drinkers of champagne
who would like to know all about the
sparkle and the liquid light, and SO on,
champagne making establishment the
articles found on hand were four barrels
of common white wine, one barrel Of mo-
lasses, and one barrel of vitriol.
Some exhumers at work digging out
u, IL Il
Dubuque, Iowa, the other day, came
A lively scuffle for the prize took place,
and the bones of the departed were used
as drum sticks to beat each other over
the head, and the skull was hurled wick
edly after the victor in the contest.
AMERICAN COMMERCE the year
1868, 127 ships, all laden, only eleven
under the United States flag, entered the
ports of Hamburg and Altoona from the
only nine vessels under the United States
flag left Hamburg and Altoona for the
United States, exclusive of the California
ports.
DIR. Francis L. Turner, of Newport,
r. l., died, on Thursday, from the eff
fects of poison. A year since package
Oi AIoCuC, WdlCu ao ChIIlSo CdESICSSlJ
his coat-pocket. broke open and spilled
lessly placed luncheon in the same
pocket, and thus partook of the poison
which resulted so fatally.
A Frenchman, named Anthony Neill,
was arrested in New York recently, on q
charge of manufacturing bogus coin.
Upon his premises were found dies,
on1 oil ,bo,
sary for making gold and silver coin, and
quantity of metal so similar in appear
ance to gold and silver that few experts
can detect the difference.
An Irish Judge had habit of begging
pardon on every occasion, At the close
of the assize. as he was about to leave
minded him that he had not passed sem
tence of death on one of the criminals,
rs he had intended.
"Dear me-" said his lordship, 81 really
beg his pardon; bring him in"
| Reports OF Indian outrages in Arizona
are continually received. A despatch
states that in one county alone since the
1st Of January the Indians have stolen
1880 head of cattle, and have murdered
| ffty-two citizens, wounded eighteen and
taken two into captivity.
A young Tennessee girl, having ar.
ranged to elope with her lover, last Tues
day night, descended by rope tied to
her bed-post from front window and
escaped, while her father, with double
barreled shotgun, was awaiting the or
rival of her lover behind the house.
Said Baptist to a Methodist: 81
| don't like your church government. 1t
isn't simple enough. There's too much
machinery abont it," ''It is truc," re-
piled the Methodist, eve have more ma
ohinery than you; but then, you see, it
don't take near so much water to run
it," :.
The London Field tells how sheep
killing dog was cured of his bad habit
by tying him between two rams and let
ting the triple team loose in the field.
These dragged poor Bose around on the
run till all three were dead tired, and the
cure was complete.
ADDING INSULT TO INJURY.-In a Chi
cago divorce case, the complainant AYERS
that his wife threw goblet in his face,
breaking it and one tooth, and then
| IL