Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-04-03
Facts and Fancies.

Chicago reporters now call dentists " tusk-
holsters" and blacksmiths =" vulcanists."
Mock Turtle-Calling a husband my dear
in public, and "you brute" in private.
Young women should set good examples, for
the young men are always following them.
Cheerfulness or joyousness is the heaven un-
der which everything not poisonous thrives.
If you wish to get rich, get married, When
was ever honey made with one bee in hive?
contemporary speaks of water-cure estab-
! lishment in New York as having /" dried up"
The prettiest girl in California, it is claimed,
lives on ranch, and makes butter for living.
member of the jockey club thinks horse
racing is quite natural, as it is matter of course.
tits true of many persons that their memory is
nothing but arrow ofhooks to hang up grudges on
About four tons of human hair are annually
sold in New York. Price Sis to $40 per ounce.
The best capital to begin life with, is capi-
tai wife. If the capital don't increase the family
will
Earthquakes were Of frequent occurrence in
New England during the first century after its
settlement.
A stingy widow in Concord New Hampshire,
with SIS, 900 yearly income, does housework for
weekly wages.
1t is considered cool to take mans hat with
his name written in it, simply because you want
his autograph.
| cynical husband says that the only good
run of luck he ever had was when his wife raj
away from him.
Women before marriage want nothing but
husbands, and when they get them they want
everything else.
Hans, who is judge of morals as money, says
! hahn n1arf fO thar on "a, ifa 80
'legal-tender."
An ice house laborer being killed by lump
of ice falling on his head, the verdict was Died
of hard drink"
The excesses of our youth are drafts upon our
old age, payable with interest, about thirty
years after date.
| Love, the toothache, smoke, cough, and a
tight boot, are things which cannot possibly be
kept secret very long.
Always catch lady when she faints, but
don't rumple her hair; it makes her " come to :"
before she is fairly ready.
In tavern here, says country paper, man
named Drum Is the barkeeper. His friends call
him the spirit-stirring Drum"
"My notion of wife at forty said Jerrold
"is that man should be able to change her,
| like bank note, for two twenties."
!
curiosity to know all is generally accompanied
with as great an itching to tell it again.
1t is argued for short dresses that they give
plain girls chance. What Nature denies to the
face she often gives to the understanding.
Vanity is the fruit of ignorance. 1t thrives
most in subterranean places. never reached by
the mir of heaven and the light of the sun.
A wag suggests that a suitable litanical re-
sponse for many church choirs would be, ' o
Lord have mercy on US miserable singers"
If you are lover don't love two girls at once.
Love is good thing, but it is like butter, it
won't do to have too much on hand at one time.
A Portland mechanic has made fine cambria
needle which can be unscrewed, and which con-
tans, in a hollow within, another smaller needle.
A Mormon paper says that "the latter-day
saints are the cream of the country" If they
are, the sooner the country is SKINNED the bet
ter.
Confucius said that his only rne in regard to
drinking was to drink until he happy.
There were probably no police stations when
Confucus lived.
"Patrick," said lady to a slip of green Erin
who was officiating in the kitchen, "where is
Bridget ?" f" Indeed, ma am, she's fast asleep,
lookin at the bread bakin'."
An anayzing dame reports that "she had
heard of but one old woman who kissed her COW;
but she knows of many thousands Of young ones
who have Kissed very great calves"
" You would not take me for twenty?" said
nice girl to her partner, while dancing, few
evenings ago; "what would you take me for ?'
g For better, or for worse" replied be.
The New York Times holds that men may save
money by marrying. If the theory of the Times
be sustained by facts, the very y-much ch-married
Saints of Utah ought to get rapidly rich.
A consideration for the feelings of others, and
a quick perception of what these feelings are un-
der the different circumstances of lfe constitute
true politeness and those who possess it not,
whatever their rank, are vulgar.
One of the most cogent reasons sever given
why a married man should get his life insured,
is, that the money would prove great help to
his wifes second husband, and might be the
means of starting him in business.
The engine house at Harpers Ferry, so hero
ically defended by old John Brown and his men,
has, with other buildings, been presented by
Congress to a college for colored men, and the
bill was signed by Andrew johnson.
An anxious woud-be bride waited impatiently
for non-arriving bridegroom in Indianapolis.
In place of himself, he sent to the wedding tel
egram announcing that be was only in fun, and
wanted to see how the lady would take joke.
mathematical Blind Tom has made his ap-
pearance in Richmond He is but seventeen
years old, blind, and entirely uneducaied, yet,
by some mental process, he solves the most dif-
icult problems in figures with rapidity and pre-
cision.
I villacer was drowned not long ago in at
tempting to cross the Tagus on horseback The
mayor ordered a search for the body. The edict
gave as a means of Identification the following
!, particulars /" Dark complexion, tall, marked i'm
pediment in speech"
Naomi, the daughter of Enoch, was FIVE hun
dred and ninety years old when she was married.
Courage, ladies !
There never goose 80 gray,
| But day. soon or lstc.
i An honest gander came that way,
And took her for his mate.
Lombardy, Italy, claims to have the oldest
tree iI Europe 1t is one hundred and six feet
in height and ten feet in circumference at one
foot from the ground, and is believed to have
been in existence forty-two years before the
birth of Christ. If but one-half as old as it is
believed to be, it is indeed venerable tree.
The Falls of Idaho are said to be 400 yards
The ropids form cariar Of c,,,.I..