Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1869-09-27

by the sole and holy purpose OF restor-
ing peace aud property to the rsmot-
est hamlets of the Union"
GIVING AND RECEIVING RE-
PROOF.
There 10 scarcely any Office of friend
ship which might be made to render
moro valuable results than that of Civ
irg reproof. Yet, in fact, there is hardly
any that is so much neglected, so badly
performed, or SO u~ngrsciously received.
There is q general idea that our, friends
are to be sources Of unmiIed pleasure,
while from our enemies alone are we to
apprehend any pain. Whenever, there.
fore, any approach is made to the
unpleasant subject Of u faults, the
pain we experience leads us to consider
him who inaicts it rather in the light Of
an enemy than Of o friend. The fear Of
this result naturally operates to prevent
any allusion to the subject, and thus
one of the chief benefits that might
result from intimate compauionship is
constantly frustrated. The error that
u.derlies this, as indeed it does most
other forms of evil, consists in seeking
for pleasurable sensations above ulti-
mate benefit. Mono deliberately admit
that they are doing this, and yet NO
stronger proof of it can exist than the
unwillingness to hear an unpalatabls
truth. There is also a singular iucon.
sisteucy iu it. For whatever else we
can dispense with in our friend, we all
desire that he shall be sincere. We
abhor hypocritical protestations, and
fattery that we know to be such, yet
when we only welcome his praises with
cordially, and receive his well.meant
advice or reproof with coldness or dis
pleasure, we actually check his sincerity
and put q premium upon hypocrisy.
| We desire that the friend shall have our
best interests at heart, and shall use his
efforts to promote Thorn; yet when he
aims to accomplish this in its highest
sense we practically forbid it by cold
looks and avcrted eyes. We wish tina.
no may possess a clear mind, a sound
judgment aud a preference for the right
in all things; yet We deny to ourselves
the benefit of that Judgment, and prefer
that he should hide from US oil his
knowledge of the part Of our character
needing correction. We desire that he
shall be keenly alive to his W faults,
and yet blindly iussn,ible to ours.
These are the Inconsistencies that de-
tract so much from the essential benefits
Of real friendship, while at the same
time, really, though unconsciously, in
viting and stimulating that hypocrisy
and fiattery which, when once seen in
their real %colors, are SO abhorrent to
every true nature. Men keep up q hol-
low truce with conscience, willingly
remaining ignorant Of truths, the
knowledge of which would hurt their
self-love, and thus they come to regard
with dislike the sincere friend who, in
uttering those truths, is really seeking
their welfare.
1t is evident that much Of tho reproof
given is ill-timed, much is offered in n
harsh, unloving or censorious spirit.
and some even with a malicious desire
of creating paiu..Or fixing %reproach. If
it is important to receive reproof Alright,
it is equally necessary to study how,
when, and in what spirit to bestow IN
If any benefit is to result, it is essential
that the friend who ventures to criticise
or reprove, should be actuated by a
spirit of sincere love aud friendship,
and q desire to do as he would be
done by. If be cannot have this spirit,
let him refrain from all reproof. 1t will
only stir up contention. But, assuming
that he acts in this spirit, he should, as
far as possible, keep himsclfin the back
ground, claiming no superiority, but
pressing only the essential virtue Of his
subject-striving moro that his friend
may be convinced than that hs should
have the credit of convincing him. Fa-
vorable opportunities should also be
selected, avoiding formality or sudden.
ness, or anything that may create a
hostile feeling. Too often reproof is
given in anger-when the friendly feel
ing is ruptured by unkinduess, or when
long brooding has fostered d%ispleasure.
Much more than the truth is then
uttered, and even truths themselves
thus conveyed only stir up resentment.
In all reproof, too great care cannot DO
taken to avoid exaggsration. An under!
of facts will ever be more
effectual. Tho benefit that all would
reap, could friendship be founded on
such principles as to invite and welcome
friendly criticism, would be incalculable:
should then fulfill Burns beautiful
wish,
ooh, wad som. power the Giftie gle US
To see oursels as ithers see US"
+; It 10 the love of truth that we need
above all things to cultivate. When we
come to realize its intrinsic and eternal
value, when we prize it above all inter-
.sts and all pleasures, we shall then
learn both to convey 1t and to receive 1t
Il in such Q way as most fully 70 insure
Tho highss. and uoblest ends Of friend.
hip.