The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-01-24
NEW UNC0MMERCIAL SAMPLES.
BY CHARLES DICKENS.
A LITTLE DINNER IN AN HOUR.

| to go down from London to place of seaside re.
sort, on an hours business, accompanied by my
esteemed friend Bolfnch. Let the place of sea.
SIDE resort be, for the nonce, called Namelesston
mad been lettering about Paris 10 very hot
weather, pleasantly breakfasting in the open air
IN the garden OF the Palais Royal or the Tuileries
pleasantly dining in the open air in the Elysian
Fields, pleasantly taking my cigar and lemonade
in the open air on the Italian Boulevard towards
the small hours after midnight. Bullinch -an ex-
| cellent man OF business-had summoned me back
across the channel to transact this said hours
business al Namelesston, and thus il fell out that
| Bullfnch and l were in a railway carriage to-
| getber on our way to Namelesston, each with his
| return ticket in his xsistcoat pocket. f,.f
says Bulnnch; II have proposal to make.
Iasked Bullfnch, did he recommend the Teme-
raire? lnasmuch as had not been rated on the
books OF the Temeraire for many years.
Bullfnch declined to accept the responsibility Of
recommending the Temeraire, but on the whole
was rather ssneuine about it. He Seemed to
remember" Bullfnch said, that be had dined well
there. A plain dinner, but good. Certainly not
like a Partisan dinner (here Bullfnch obviously
became the prey Of want of confdence), but Of
its kind very fair. lo.
lsppealed to Bullfnch's intimate knowledge of
my wants and ways to decide whether | was
usually ready to be pleased with any dinner, or
for the matter of that-with anything that was
fair of its kind and really what it claimed to be-
Bullfnch doing me the honor to respond in the af-
frmative, / agreed TO ship myself as an Able
Trepeherman on board the Temeraire.
Now, our plan shall be this,' says Bullfuch,
with his forefnger at bis nose. Z" As soon az we
ger to Namele sston, well drive straight to the
Temeraire. and order little dinner In an hour.
And as we shall not have more than enough time
in which 10 dispose on it comfortably, what do
you say TO giving the house the best opportunities
of serving il hot and quickly by dining in the cOf
fee-room ~
What bad to say was, Certainly. BullHnch
lwho IS by nature hopeful constitution) then
began TO babhle OF green geese. But | checked
him in that Fssiaffan vein, urging considerations
OF time and cookery.
In due sequence of events we drove up 10 the
Temeraire and aligbted. A youth in livery re-
ceived us on the doorstep. " Looks well,r said
BullGncb, confdentially. And then aloud, "Cof.
fee-room !"
The youth In livery NOW perceived to be
mouldy) conducted us to the desired ha, en- and
was erjoined by Bullfnch to send the waiter at
once, as we wished to order a little dinner
In an hour. Then Bullfnch and | waited
for The waiter until, the waiter continuing TO
walt IN some unknown and invisible sphere of
action, we rang for the waiter. which ring pro-
ouced the waiter. who announced himself as not
tee waiter who ought to wait upon Us, and who
didn't wait a moment longer.
so Bulifinch approached the coffee-room door
and melodiously pitching bis voice into bar
where two young ladies were keeping the books of
the IemeraiTe, apologetically explained that we
wished TO order little dinner In an hour and thar
we we're debarred from the execution of our inuf.
fensive purpose by cons & lment to solitude.
bereupon one of the young ladies' rang a bell,
which reproduced-att the bar this time-the waiter
who was not the waiter who ought to wait upon
Us: that extraordinary man, whose life seemed
consumed in waiting upon people to say that he
wouldn't wait upon them, repeated his former
protest with great indignation, and retired.
Bnlhnch, with fallen countenance, was about
TO say 10 me " this won't do" when the waiter
who ought to wait upon us left off keeping Us
waiting at last Waiter said Blllincb, piteous-
ly. we have been long time waiting" The
waiter who ought TO wait upon Us laid the blame
upon the waiter who ought not TO wait upon u.s.
and ssid it was all that walters fault
1--WE wish" said BUllfnch, much depressed,
" to order little dinner in an hour. What can
we bave?"
what would you like to have, gentle.
mpn?r
Ballfnch, with extreme mournfuIness of speech
ard action. aud with forlorn old ly.blown bill
IF fare in his hand which the waiter had given
him and which was sort of general manuscript
inoex to any cookery-boo you please, moved the
previous question.
We could have mock turtle soup a sole. curry
and roast duck. Agreed. At this table by this
Window usetualy in. an hour
had been feigDing to look out of this window;
but ha0 been taking notes of the crumbs on all
the tables, the dirty tableclOths the stuffy soupy
airess atmosphere the stale leavings everywhere
about, the deep gloom Of the waiter who ought to
wait upon Us, ind the stomach ache with which a
IOIciy NJ uteLdOt IhDle IN the corner WAS
too evidently afflicted. now pointed out to Bull
fDch the alarming circumstance that this traveller
had dined. We hnrriedly debated whether, with.
out Infringement Of good breeding, we could ask
him 10 disclose if he bad partsken of mock turtle
sole, curry, or roast duck? We decided that the
thing could not be politely done, and that we had
set our own stomache on q cast, and they must
stand the hazard of o die.
hold phrenolOgy, within certain limits to be
tue am much of the same mind az to the sub
n | hi nh
TO be infalbe; though all those sciences demand |
rare qualities in the student. But also hold that
there Is no more certain index to personal charac.
ter thsn the condition OF set of castors is TO the
character of any hotel. Knowing, and having /
often tested this theory Of mine, Bulfnch resigned
himself TO the worst, when, laying aside any re. |
naming veil of Disguise held up before him in |
succession the cloudy oil and furry vinegar, the |
clogged cayenne, the dirty salt, the obscure dregs
Of soy. snd the anchovy sauce in flannel waist
coat of decomposition.
We went out TO transact our business So in.
spiritng was the relief of passing into the clean
and windy streets of Namelesston from the heavy
and vspid closeness of the coffee-room of the
] emerare that hope began to revive within u.s.
We began to consider that perhaps the lonely |
traveller bad taken physic, or done something in.
udicious to bring his complaint on. Bullfnch re-
marked that he thought the waiter who ought to
wait upon Us had frightened a little when sug-
costing curry and although knew him to have |
been at that moment the express image of des-
pair, allow myself TO become elevated in Spirits
As we walked by the softly tapping sea, all the
no abilities Of Nsmelesston, who are forever
,oiDg up and down with the chsngelessness of the
ides, passed two and fro 10 procession. Pretty
Urls on horseback and with detested riding.
masters; pretty girls on FOOT mature ladies' ia
strong minded, and glaring at
he opposite or weaker sex. The stock exchange
Vas strongly represented. Jerusalem was strongly
represented. the bores of the prosier London clubs
we're strongly represented. Fortune hunters of
VI denominations were there from hirsute insol-
lency in a eurricle to closely buttoned-up swim
ilery IN doubtful boots on the sharp lookout for
my likely young gentleman disposed TO play
Iame 81 billiards round the corner. Masters of
aDguages, their lessons finished for the day, were
,olng to their homes out of sight of the sea [;
nisresses of accomplishments, carrying small
portfolios, likewise tripped homewsrds; pairs
ifcholsstie pupils, two and two. went lsnguid.
: along the beach, surveying the face of the
alters as If waiting for some ark to come and
axe them of. Spectres Of the George the Fourth
avs fitted unstesdily among the crowd, bearing |
be outward semblance Of ancient dandies. Of |
very ore cf whom it might be said, not that he
sd one leg in the grave or both legs. but that he
Ias stepped in the grave 10 the summit OF his