davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

WAS IT p" My DEAR" said good unsuspi-
cious Mrs Howard, II think Mary is in de
cline "
"In a what2" inquired the startled but un-
romantic husband. A decline, my dear-in
decline. You were far too stern with her in
regard to that little affair with MIR. Young.
Girls hearts. my dear, are not like those of
great rough boys; they are fragile things, my
iove-very fragile. Now have noticed that
Mary acts very queer; she eats nothing but
peaches or canned ounce or something of that
sort, and to-day, unobserved by her, was
watching her singular movements. A spasm
of pain crossed her features, she stopped in her
walk and clutched her hand over the region OF
her heart and sighed, my dear-sighed as il
ner sshed is l"S did she and 'Iu groaned a Umph
Amt you old enough yet TO tell the difference
between breaking heart aud spell of the
collie ?'
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

OTHERs.-There are folks who can never
look at any one else in their own walk Of life
without some latent reference to themselves.
They instantly institute comparison. And
this introduces a disturbing element which
makes their estimate Of the former person of
no value. They are looking on the other per-
son through spectacles strongly tinged with
green; perhaps with yellow. If you desire TO
form sound and right estimate of any one
whose work is the same as yours, or may be
regarded as a competitor for the same kind of
standing, you must for the time forget yourself
altogether. But there are people who have it
not in them to form an impersonal and unset
fish estimate of another. They never think
that the other man is six feet high, or seven,
as the case may be; but that he is so many
inches taller or shorter-than they are. They
never think that the man is avery clever man,
or very stupid man; but that he is not so
clever as they are, or stupider than they are.
Such are the human beings who are disconeer-
ted unless they are recognized as cock of the
walk. In selecting their associates they do not
want equal companions but humble attendants.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
Station House Lodgers

In the moro recently constructed station-hOus-
eS especial provision has been made for this
class. The cells here occupy the ground floor
of a rear building, and the second floor is divid,
ed into two rooms of about twenty feet square
each. Separate apartments are thus obtained
for the accommodation of male aud female
dodgers. In equipment these rooms are essen
italy primatve. Not a chair, or STOOL, or
other appliance of civilized life adorus them,
except that they contain an immense stove
standing in the centre, and large bunk placed
slightly inclined against one of the walls. The
stove gives the coveted warmth to all, and the
bunk will accommodate about twenty and the
aggard dodgers coming in late must be content
with an exactly horizontal bed upon the stone
floor. There are no mattresses 10 quarrel over,
and no bed clothing to be a vexation. In one
respect the rooms are luxuriously accOutered.
By dint of constant exertion they are kept
scrupulOusly clean. utthere is not a cold night
tut men and women are turned away from nearly
every statiOn-house, because the accOmmoda
tions are already Overtasked.
Every such night, as soon as darkness sets
in, the lOIgers begin to arrive. They come
singly, in pairs, and sometimes in groups.
They are of both sexes, all ages, natiOnalites,
and, it might be almost said, of all conditions.
Very few are actually and obtrusively ragged,
but are dressed in clothes that evidently had
seen long service before they reached the last
wearers. The men generally are devoid Oi
shirts and socks, with the glazed and thread
bare coat fastened tightly across the breast,
and the nude ankles, blue with cold, showing
above dilapidated shoes. The women have
the faded remnant of a cheap shawl wrapped
about the shoulders, and single skirt and a
thin calico dress the only protection Of the low
er limbs. The children are the saddest sights
of all. They have not learned the art of Secur
ing the cast-off vestments of their bettcrs; anC
little girls sometimes enter the station-houst
with no apparel save the remnant of a summer
dress, and so nearly frozen that they canno
express their requests for lodgings in words
But all of the cOmers are not of the abjec
class. Decayed gentility very frequently push
es back the swinging doors; and during th
past winter it often happened that gentility it
self was an applicant for relief. Scores AM
scores of men then walked Broadway with tn
; outward resemblance of prosperity, but main
tanning ghastly conflict with absolute desttu
ton, and sleeping in the station houses. Yer
often, too, amOng the applicants are person
from the country, who have fallen among tn
thieves and been robbed of their all AMI it no
unfrequently happens that men hobble in O.
crutches, or dangling an empty sleeve, VIII
have given their country an arm or leg, an
have received in return the cold charity of tn
streets. -Harpcrs Magazine
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
Sound Sense About Long Speeches.
BY L. ]. BRADFORD.

One of the most difficult attanments that
public speaker is called on to secure is know
ledge of the proper time to close a harangue.
Many man has injured good cause, by not
knowing when to stop. A man who thinks
his own voice the most musical instrument In
the world is very apt to become bore OF the
first water. If speakers would close their ef-
forts just at the point when they discover their
auditory is delighted, they would be much
more effective than they are. Where one
speech is too short thousand are too long.
A few words ftly spoken have prodigious eff
feet, but a torrent of words is a calamity. If
orators would but take it for granted that men
can understand some portion of subject with
out encountering tempest of logic, and con-
fine themselves to what is essential they would
bave more influence over auditOries.
We have frequently looked on long suffering
crowds of persons with mingled feelings of
amazement and admiration. 1t is false to say
there are no Jobs nowadays We have seen
hundreds of them together standing in uncOm-
Portable places by the hour, and listening to
speeches from the lips of men who seem sent
in this world to consummate that great plan of
human torture in the furtherance of which
gnats, mosquitoes, fleas, and sand-ticks are
employed. Had Job been subjected to such a
test, his patience would certainly have given
way But American crowds, more patient
than Job, will listen and really seemed pleased
while they are suffering the acutest tOrments
that healthy flesh and blood are liable to,
namely: the inhction of speech which not
only has no point, but, what is much worse,
seems to have no end. A long and dry speech
is truly a great calamity to any community
that, for its sins, is called on to hear it. And
so it happens that speeches are for the most
part long in proportion as they lack sense, sen
timent, wit, pathos, logic and all the other ele
ments of good enjoyable speech. Moment:
passed in hearing such speech do not fly
away on angel wings. That old gentleman
Father Time, seems to fold his wings on sucf
occasions, and his feet are so afflicted witt
gout or some other malady that they are una
BILE to help him along, and the old fellow come!
to dead halt
Of all vanties that of very long speech il
least bearable. That man should pride him
self on his power to oppress, stupify, and tor
ture his neighbors and friends, is certaini
very strange. In churches it often happen
that a dispensation of poppies may be happi
avoided at the moment when 1t begins to b.
very troublesome, by a victims leaning hi
head on the pew and escaping into protoun
sleep. But at public meetings, those Occas
ions when men seem to take most pleasure i
torturing others, fellow has no such resource
He cannot get a nap, and if he gets fdget
and in the agony of his pains calls out to th
speaker to have mercy on him, he is nudge
! by some of his neighbors and lectured on tn
wo-begone subjects of decency, decorum an
prOpriety.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

SEALED "PRoPosALs. III Contractors
The undersigned, feeling the need of some one
to find fault with and grumbe at when business
matters go wrong, and being lonely, with no
one to hate him J.; and whereas, having arrived
at the proper age, he is therefore determined
to "come out
Sealed proposals will be received until twelve
o clock z. NJ. of the 31st of November, 1869.
Applicant must possess beauty, or its equiva-
lent in currency.
She must possess sweet and forgiving dis
position, and when one cheek is kissed turn the
other-that is, if the right man is kissing her
She may not chew gum;
Nor wear long dresses in the street;
Nor frequent sewing circles;
Nor go around begging for charitable purpo
ses
Nor read the paper first in the morning;
Nor talk when | am sleepy;
Nor sleep when | am talking;
Nor trade off my clothes to wandering ped
dlers for flower vases;
| Nor borrow money from my pockets while
sleep;
| Nor hold a looking-glass over my face at sucl
times to make me tell all know.
! She must believe in sudden attacks of chils
and make allowance for their effect on the ner
vous system.
When her "old bear" comes home from {"
few friends" rather affectionate, she must no
take advantage of his state, and wheedle hin
into trips to watering-places.
And, above all, she may not on such occa
sions put "ipecac" into the coffee she pre-
scribes for his "poor head"
She must not sit up for him when he hap
pens to be detained to late hour on his CON
mittee.
A lady possessing the foregoing qualification
positive and negative, can hear of somethin
to her advantage by addressing the advertiser
enclosing a stamp.
All proposals must he accompanied with sa
isfactory evidence of the ability of the appl
cant to support husband in the style to whic
he has been accustomed.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

If cat doth meet cat upon the garden
wall, and if cat doth greet cat, oh need
they both to squall? Every Tommy has his
Tabby, waiting on the wall, and yet she well
comes his approach by an unearthly yawl.
And if kitten wish to court cat upon the
wall, why don't he sit and sweetly smile and
not stand up and bawl, and lift his precious
back up high, and show his teeth, and moan,
as if 'twere collie more than love that made the
" fellerN groan2
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
WHOLE NO. TO

MARRIED MEN are of two klnds-goOd and
bad The bad are truly horrible; the good,
very good indeed. The bad married man
illtreats his family in every way, and generally
ends by clipping with somebody and leaving his
wife to earn a living by fine needlewOrk. But
the good married maxwell, he is not madly
IN love any more, but he believes that there
never was such a woman as his wife, He does
not see Times changes in her face she is
always young to him. Every baby binds them
closer to each other. There is an expression
IN good married mans face that bachelor
cannot have. 1t is indiscrbabe. He is IA little
nearer the angels than the prettiest young te-
low living You can see that his broad chest
IS pillow Tor somebody head, and that little
fingers pull his whiskers When some one has
SAID husband, and some other Papa"
seal is set upon the forehead. No onc-no
woman at least-evcr mistakes the good mar
ried man for an instant 1t is only the erratic
one who leaves you in doubt. The good one
can protect all the unprotected females, lift
pretty girls over cutters, talk to them in car
rages, and make himself generally agreeable,
and yet never leave doubt on any mind that
there Is precious little woman at home worth
all the world to him. Some women like the
bad married man, and delight in making his
wife jealous | hate him. The good married
man on whom [ could not make " an impress
sion y if died for it, is the one for me-MiSs
! b., an Sunday Dispatch.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

A very original youngster, after watching a
funeral procession thoughtfully one day, and
hearing the ordinary remarks about it, sudden
ly started the family by the determined asser-
ton, "Well, don't want to be the last angel
do YOU mean p cried an astonis6ed sister. "i
don't" insisted the boy, because l want to
see how he makes EN- ~
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
NEWSPAPER PUBLIsHINa. The e,

NEWSPAPER PUBLISHING. The expenses of
publishing a newspaper may be immagined
from the financial statement recently given by
the proprietors of the Louisville COWrter-.Jour-
ing the past year were as follows: Printing
paper, $S5, 600; type setting, $75, ,642; editors
salaries, 5000; business salaries, $2l 900 i;
special and Press dispatches, $2l, 900; Office
expenses, 100000; correspondence, .$l0,50O; /;
cost of delivery of paper, $4,000, and current
incidental expenses, $4,000, making a total of
$3.50, ,I57, or $4,000 week. The Courier Jour
nal says there is but g one sure principal gov
erning the relations which shonld exist between
the press and the public, and that is the princi-
ness, as understood by standards that regulate
the ordinary intercourse Of private business and
common life 7'~.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

+ CHEAP OCEAN POSTAGE. After the first of
January, proximo, letter can be sent to Eng
land from this country for six cents, and a re-
Div can be sent from Liverpool, London, &c.
upon payment of three pence. This reduction
Of hostage will greatly benefit poor emigrants
who have made their homes in this country.
We are informed that this is but one of many
stems to be taken in the matter of. lessenipg
nostage rates between this aud foreign lands.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
POetrY.
WHO WILL CARE9

When we lie beneath the dasies,
Underneath the ehurchyard mold,
And the long grass DER our faces
Lays its fingers damp and cold;
When we sleep frCm care and sorrow,
And the ills of earthly life
Sleep to know no sad tomorrow,
With its bitterness of strife
Who will carer
Who will come to weep above Us,
Lying, oh so white and still,
Underneath the skies of summer,
When all natures pulses thrill
To new life, glad and tender.
Full of beauty rich and sweet,
And the world is c ad in splendor
That the years shall eer repeat
Who will carer
When Queen Autumn's flowers blossom.
And she stoops in pity down.
With white flower for our bosom,
Taken from her royal crownf .,..
Who will come to kneel in pity
BY our long and narrow bed.
When the wild winds sing their ditty
In the grasses DER our head
Who will carer
When the Springtime's glad smile fingers
On the meadows, fair and wide,
And she drops, from rosy fingers,
Bloom and Leaf from every slde
Who will come with tender yearnIng,
To the grave of those we miss?
Who will sigh for our returning
To their presence and their kiss
Who will carer
Who will think OF white hands lying
On still and silent breast,
Never more to know of sighing,
Evermore to know of rest tS
Who will carer No one can tell us;
But il rest and peace befall,
Will it matter If they miss us,
Or they miss us not at all2
Not at all2
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

Mr.. Andrew johnson has fulfilled his claim
to be considered the Moses of the nine
teenth century. He was permitted to go up on
the = Pisgah y of fifty one votes and look over
into the United States Senate chamber, but
not to enter the promised land.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

SECOND MARRIAGE. They are having a
lively controversy in Buffalo about second
marriages All the young people, who are fill
ed with notions of " undying love-" and all that
sort of thing, take ground that second mar
riaees are highly indecorous and improper.
The old people, who wear false teeth eye glas-
ses. wigs, and fannels, and who have been
]" bereaved,'' maintain that a second marriage
is quite as proper, as sacred and as abundant
in its yield OF true love, as a first marriage.
AS vet neither side can claim q victory.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

An enthusiastic admirer of beautiful women
recently startled a friend thus: Been to
church this morning" he asserted.
"To church?'
Yes, and such necksl Full and white and
good enough to eat six of them all in a row !:
watched 'em all through service. y my what
necks'
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

An honest dame in the town of Rome, N.
Y, standing beside the corpse of her deceased
husband, bewailing in pite9us tones the untime-
ly departure, observed Its pity he s dead,
for his teeth are as good as they ever were.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

A raw Jonathan who had been gazing at
garden in the vicinity of New ork, in which
were several marble statues, exclaimed: Just
see what waste Here's no less than six
scarecrOws in this ten foot patch, and any one
on EN- would keep the crows from FIVE acre
lok ~
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

"Dear me = exclaimed Stiggins, ''that new
surgeon gave Squantum's boy new lip from
the child's own cheek What painful opera
ton it must have been!"
cheek more than once" replied Mrs. Stiggins,
"and it wasn t painful operation at all. y
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

Can butting contest between two darkeys
be considered "skulling match2"
Ism t it queer that contractors should be en-
gagged to widen streets2
Editors ought to be able to live very cheap:
they get bored for nothing. arF
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

Observation-Disclosures -''Goot morrer Pat;
how you tuz?'
Irishman-"The top of the morning till ye,
Smitt; do you think we Ii git rain to day?"
Dutchman-' Kess no; We never haves
mooch rains in der dry dime
Irishman-" Faith an yer right there, an
thin whiniver it gifts in the way O. rainin' the
divil the much dry time will we get as long as
the wet spell howlds.'
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

"This is capital ale" said an old topper; "see
how long it keeps its head
"Aye," said a byStander :; :" but consider
how soon it takes away yours"
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

jenkins is not going to do anything more in
connundrums He secently asked his wife the
difference between his head and a hOgshead,
and she said there was none. He says that is
not the right answer
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

A sensible contemporary says: 'The women
ought to make pledge not to kiss man who
uses tobacco, and itfwould soon break mp the
practice" Another exchange adds that "they
ought also to pledge themselves to kiss every
man that don't use it and We go in for that
too.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

Bridget, in reply to remark of her mistress
that she had put too much garlic into the ONE
let, replied that she did it 50 that it would not
taste SO strongly of the eggs, which We're bad.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

There is no such thing as menial Office
when you put true man into it. A menlal
Office is an Office with mean man in it and
it makes no difference whether it is king S
Office or scaYengers Office .e
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

The wives of Cairo, ILL.,, have formed them
selves into a society whose ruling is to lock all
doors at 10 P. NJ, after which hour, dad don't
get in the house"
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

Remember that selfinterest is more likely
to warp your Judgment than all circumstances
combined; /; therefore look well to your duty
when your interest is concerned
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

AS a test of the Christian timber in man,
just set him to putting up an old mis- matched
stove-pipe, and keep him at it for an hour If
he don't swear, he is seasoned.
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

A young lady in Illinois having dose to
be taken before going to bed, " set up until she
got WELL so as not to take IL. ..,.aes
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

The latest case of singularty of conduct re-
corded is that of a man who died for the bene-
fit of his hairs. "A -
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24

BoTH.-" Pretty girl, Amanda is.
"Ah! is she blonde or brunette p
ooh she has her DAYS of BOTH"
Smyrna times., 1869-11-24
The
DELAWARE HOUSE
HOTEL,
SMYRNA, DELAWARE,
THOS. L. SUTLIFF, Proprietor.

The we'll known " Brick Hotel" being now under
the entire charge and management ofthe undersigned
he desires TO express the public his thanks for the
liberal patronage heretofore gwen the house. during
his connection with it, and 10 ask its continuance
which he hopes TO merit by we'll directed efforts to
provide for the comfort and enjoyment Of his guests
and leave nothing undOne thai the most (asIidOus
could desire.
The rooms have been placed IN the most tho ough
order The Table is we'll provided with all the
staples and LUXURIES the market affords Those
living in the town in the city. when minus of hell
al home, can always find nv table ready meet the
wish of those who wish board by the meal day week.
month year, at the lowest possible rates
THE BAR
Ia we'll stocked with fine assortment of the Choicest
Liquors.
Experienced Cooks, attentive servants and all de.
termined to give complete satisfaction,
August llth. 1869. T. L. SUTLIFF.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-04-02

a CURIosITy. An alligator has found its
way in the main pipe used at the Artesian
Well. Several attempts have been made by
Major Weldon to extricate it from its posi-
ton. but so far, he says, failed to meet with
success. The Major is of the opinion that
as soon as this obstacle is removed he will be
able to proceed with the work of boring and
accomplish that for which he has been work
ing for so many years, and which has cost
the city thousands of dollars.
Charleston Courier.
UNFoRTUNArE OCCURRENCE We regret
to learn that OF Sunday of last week, while
the family were all in attendance ut church,
the residence Of DR.. l.. A. Hill, near An
tioch, in this County, together with the en-
tire contents, was destroyed by fire. The
origin of the fire is unknown
POrkpiNe Enquirer.
HORRIBLE Edgefeld Advertiser
learns that the residence of Mrs Harriet
Lundy, who resides about seven miles from
that village, was consumed by fire on Mon
day night last, and terrible to relate, the old
lady was burnt to death
It is said that Adjutant and Inspector
General +. j. Moses, Jr., has gone to New
Haven, Connecticut, for the purpose of pur-
chasing two thousand Springfield rifles, for
the militia.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-04-02

One thousand mules are being purchased
in Jersey County. Illinois. for General wade
Hampton, OF South Carolina. and Colonel
WO. Patterson, of Tennessee.
EThe Darlington Dsnsoo,,ds sSys the barn
ena stabaes Of Mr.. Oliver PARROTS in that
County. wkre destroyed BY fire onsthe 31st
ult. 4 col3red man has been arrested on
suspicion OF being the -incendiary&
A brutal murder was committed in Mem
phis, Tenn, Sunday night, AS Peter Craw-
ley was going to church with lady, he was
deliberately shot in the back by John Ken
nedy, who fled and was not arrested. Ken
nedy was rival of Crawley, and jealousy
was supposed to be the cause
Mr.. john Cheek Smith, man about sixty
years old, who has been engaged in school
teaching for a number of years, was found
dead on the track Tor near it) of the Char
lotte and South Carolina Railroad, near
Morrow's Turnout on the Goth ult. It is
thought that he was killed by the night
train Charlotte Democrat.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-04-02

ILLS THAT FLESH IS HEIR To.-Scrofula
or Kings Evil, Rheumatism, Neuralgia,
Swellings of the Glands and Joints, Erup-
ton of the Skin. Secondary Syphilis with
all its train of evils, Impure Blood, Female
Diseases, Low Spirits, Liver Complaint
mankind. But, happily, they have their
antidote. DIR. TUTT's SARsApAR1LIA and
QUEENS DELIGHT possess the qualities to
eXpel them from the system, restore perfect
health. and produce happiness, where all
was misery. NI27
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-04-02

PhANTA1IoN BTrERs are especially recon-
mended to Olergymen, Public Speakers and
persons OF literary habits and sedentary life,
who reqaire sclear mental faculties which
can only be obtained by q relish for food,
and q perfect sdigestion.Y Delicate Females
are certain to find in these Bitters health
and strengths 81
A@WATnR.-Snperior to the best
imported German Cologne, and sold at half
the price. M27t1+3