The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-04-28
NUMBER 1876.

sIy godfatliers and godmothers at my
baptism gavo me the cognomouof ,Tohn--
NV whole name is simply John Mooner,
not hard namo to write. or read whom
written also, l should think-and I am
an unprejudiced alan-znot hard to remem-
Der, but, what is easy for mary, seems, in
certain localities, by no means 60. am
addicted to grumbilng, so my wife says,
and that excellent woman is always right
at least SO she makes out. / may have
an opinion ofmy own On the subject, but
that is neither here nor there. won't de.
ny that have my grivances, and feel that
the only vent for them is by grunbling !:
besides, it's my privilege; enjoy it in com
mon with every Englishman, and it is not
one that feel disposed TO give up. Now,
have had something on my mind for
very considerable time. Mrs Mooner says
she is tired Of hearing about it; the sub
ject is interdicted at tho family breakfast
table, and feel that my only resource is
to make public the great wrong that have
suffered, and | am certain that the Justice
of my complaint will be acknowledged by
every one!
Not long timo ago business took me
to town, and, hoping to be able to return
to the country almost Immediately, l put
up at the Great Centrifugal Railway TO-
tel, of which | had heard much, and con-
sidered it would suit my purpose very we'll
for the limited period Of my stay in Lon
don. | arriyed-engagcd room, the
number of which was 1SG-sant my lug
gage up, and started on my business
found that | should have to remain coup
le of days at least, but, congratulating my
self on getting into. such good quarters,
rather rejoiced than otherwise! strolled
into the coffee room at about ] O'Clock.
looked around for anything in the shape of
swaiter, but not q soui was to be seen
I'M stout man, require o good deal of
punishment, and as regularly as the sun
goes round the earth so do I, at halEpast
one, have mutton chop and q pint bottle
of beer. But on the present occasion |
gazcd at what / may term vacancy. Fine.
~ painted walls. covered with representa-
tons of vases of flowers, fruits, game of all
sorts, hanging up most temptingly within
reach: magnificent damsels in not too
much clothing, with unmeaning smiles on
their faces, which seemed to invite one to
partake of the deiicacies of which they APP
parently were the guardian angels; enor-
nous windows, with not much of look
out, though; tables, chairs, knives and
forks, tumbler5 and napkins, with all the
usual array commonly seen in respectable
cofe-roonl; but there were no attendants;
and suppose may ask, without appear
ing cynical, what earthly use all these fine
things are when can't get any one to
bring me what want. If | had not been
hungry might have enjoyed al this dis
play, but, being so, its only effect on ne
was to increase my appetite, and, as had
only had cup of tea and bit Of toast ut
about halfpast seven, considered that
had perfect right to something more sub
stantial at halfpast one. OF course, it's
always the way, l had no time to get any
thing fit to eat when left home. Mrs.
Mooner did not make her appearance till
ten minutes before I left, and when Ivcn-
tured to complain, told me was always
grunbling, and i'll had only told her the
night before that Lswas going by tho carly
train, everything would have boon ready,
and as it was, she did not know was GO
Ing at-all / told her in reply that She
ought TO have known, and that any wife
of common sense would have done so
Grunibling, indeed : i think l may well
grumble.
! now tried the bells, and wont round
The room pulling them ono by one, as each
seemed to fail in bringing any waiter up
have reason to believe they were con.
structed on new principle, for when pull |
ed, they, instead OF sounding o good peal, |
gave out but one solitary ting! and, after
keeping prettp well at this fatigune work,
hogan to wish myself fairly back with |
Mrs. Mooner. found out afterwards that |
there was not the siightess objection to any
one ringing-not the slightest You
might ring as often as you liked Nbut as to
anything like an answer to tho summons
that was another thing Eventually an
individual in white tie sided up, asking
if | had rung Too hungry to waste words, |
and bridling my impatience, simply re-
marked that | had applied my digits four
teen times to the white nobs stuck in the |
walls, and should feel glad if something
could BIO brought Immediately. Waiter
asks for my number. "Number." said !; |
what number ?"
"Number of your room, sir?''
aOh, 1885, Mr.. Mooner." lie rapidly
rctires to q side door, and informs some
ono who is shrouded in q most mysterious
darkness, that '.1S6 'ull take p'nt bottle o.
beer, muffin chop, md pertaties.'' Mark
this, beg Not Mr.. Mooner would take
this or that-but l9G! I waited 10 less
than tWcnty-three and half minutes be-
ioEe IL was brought, anu tnen the cl0p was
raw, and the potatoes like brick bats
Satisfactory, certainly; but what was the
use Of complaining Ny eye fell on a
acarte." Mechanically taking it up, read
OF the foot notice to the effect that, if
any one was kept waiting more than
quarter of an hour after ordering anything,
you'd they kindly inform the inanager?-
OF course / would--he should hear all
about it. And dare say might have
done something in that way, but perceiv-
cd the room was full. and almost every one
was in much the Same plight as myself, SO
lbottled my anger, and walking out, in
CURED of the hall porter if there was any
letter for ne?
"la6, think, sir? No; there's none"
thought that he probably did not know
my name, though, as he was well informed
as to my number, he ought to have done
50, however. l left my card, and went out.
On my return, 1 was met at the door by
the same individual, who began,
1856, I think, SIR (he always said "I
think, sir" as if he didn't know il j |: