The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-12-10
MARK TWAIN AND THE WILD
MAN

terview" the most celebrated subjects
of floating newspaper paragraphs. -
Out west he has been pursuing his
Mark Twainisms in company with the
noted Wild Man, whom the reader
may possibly have read of:
"There has lately been (says Mr..
Twain) SO much talk about the mystic
rious wild man ont there in the west
for some time, that / finally felt that it
was my duty to 60 out and interview
him. There was something peculiarly
and touchingly romantic about the
creature and his strange actions, ac-
cording to the newspaper reports
He was represented as being hairy,
long-armed, and of great strength and
stature ugly and cumbrous; avoid
ing men, but appearing suddenly and
unexpectedly to. women and children /;
going armed with o club, but never
molesting any creature, except sheep
or other prey; fond of eating and
drinking, and not particular about the
quality, quantity, or character of the
beverages and edibles; living in the
woods like wild beast seeming op-
pressed and melancholy, but never an
cry moaning and sometimes bowling,
but never uttering articulate sounds.
Such was "Old Shep" as the papers
painted him. ] felt that the story Of
his life must be sad one-a story of
suffering, disappointment, exile-a
story of mans inhumanity TO man in
some shape or other-and longed TO
persuade the secret from him. When
ut length / found myself confronting
him, he commenced the interview thus:
Since you say you are a member Of
the. press, said the wild man, I am
willing to tell you all you wish to
know. By-and-by you will compre-
hend why it is that / am 30 ready to
unbosom myself To n newspaper man
when / have so studiously avoided con-
versation with other people. / will
now unfold my strange story. I was
born with the world we live upon, al
most. / am the son of Cain
What 7
I was present when the food was
announced
Which =
4 am the father Of the Wandering
Jew.
Sir T
I moved out of reach of his club,
and went on taking notes, but keeping
a wary eye on him all the while. He
smiled melancholy smile, and resum-
ed:
when I glance back over the
dreary waste of ages, I see many n
glimmering landmark that il familiar
10 my memory. And oh, the leagues
/ have travelled; the things I have
seen the events / have helped to en-
phasize was at the ASSASSINATION of
Caesar. I marched upon Mecca with
Mahomet. / was in the Crusades, and
stood with Godfrey when he planted
the banner of the cross upon the bat
Elements of Jerusalem. l.
'One moment, please-haye You
given those items to any other journal?
Can L
Silence I was in the Pinta' 9
shrouds with Columbus when Ameri-
ca burst upon his vision. / saw
Charles I, beheaded. / was in Lon
don when the Gunpowder Plot was
discovered. / was present at the tri-
al of Warren Hastings. was on
American soil when Lexington was
fought when the Declaration was
promulgated-wh CORVALLIS sur
rendered-when Washington died.
entered Paris with Napoleon after FL
ba. was present when you mounted
your guns and manned your fleets for
your War of 1S12-when the South
fired upon Sumpter-when Richmond
fell-when the Presidents life was tn
ken. In all the ages, ! have helped
to celebrate the triumphs of genius,
the achievments of arms, the havoc
of storm, fire, pestilence and famine.
Your career has been stirring one.
Might I ask you how you came to lo-
cate in these dull Kansas woods, when
you have been SO accustomed to ex-
citement during what I may term such
a protracted period, not to put too fine
a point upon it?'
Listen. Once I was the honored
servitor of the noble and the illustri-
GUS, (here he heayed sigh and passed
his hairy hand across his eyes), but in
these degenerate days am become
the slave of quack doctors and news
papers. I am driven from pillar to
post, and hurried up and down, some
times with stencil-plate and paste
bush, to defile the fences with cabal-
istic legends, and sometimes in gro
tesque and extravagant character for
the behest of some driving journal. /
attended to that Ocean Bank robbery
some weeks ago, when was hardly
rested from finishing up the pow-wow
about the completion of the Pacific
Railroad Immediately was spirited
off to do an atrocious murder for the
New York papers next to attend the
wedding of patriarchal millionaire
next to raise o. hurrah about the great
boat-race and then, when I had just
begun to hope that my old bones were
to have rest, am bundled off to this
bowling wilderness to strip, and jib-
ber, and be ugly and hairyy and pull
down fences, and waylay sheep, and
scare women and children, and waltz
around with club, and play Wild
Man generally and all to CRAFTY the
whim of bedlam of Grassy newspaper
scribblers !. From one end of this
continent to the other, ! am described
as gorilla, with sort of human
seeming. bout me-and all to CRAFTY
this quit driving scum of the earth |!
Poor, old carpet-bagger
L have been served UNANIMOUSLY, Of
ten. In modern and semi-modern times,