The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1869-01-13
Stiok to Him,

between gentleman and his son,
both lawyers, the father having re.
tired in easy circumstances TO coun.
try place, some ten miles away from
tho scene of his professional labors.
Ono Sunday morning tho young gen
tleman, homeward bound, met his
father and mother on their way to
the church where they regularly at.
tended. The father said
"My son, 1 am delighted, and 80 ia
your doar mother, that you are going
to heal our good man preach. You
will be highly pleased with him."
While the conversation was goino
on, tall friend of tho son came up,
and familiarly addressing him by his
christian name, said, before tho faith
er:
Il have got the bar open, SO that
wo can have brandy and water when.
over we want it,"
The friend, observing the solemn
countcnance Of tue father, beat a has
ty retreat. When he was gone, the
father put up his hands and said
"My son, could not bayo beloved
this fyou Look at poor poor moth
er and observe how she feels YOUR
wickodncss.'
Aftor minute Of dead silence, tho
father said
"Who is that bad companion of
yours ~
"Woll, father, if 1 must tell you,
he is my best cliont, and the richest
man in town."
The old gentleman thoroupon slap
ped his son on the shoulder and said
"Stick to him, my son stick to him,
and mover leave him p
Judge Andrews, of G eorgia, tells us
of an occasion when, to use South
ern phrase, he was "takcn down." by
one of his audience during a political
address. Eie was candidate for
Governor Of his State, AMI was ex
planning to the large crowd how his
friends had pressed him to bo can
didato, and that ho was not seeking
tho Office.
"In fact" exclaimed he, "the Of
fec of Governor has been following
mo for the last ten years I"
Just then tall countryman in the
audience arose and shouted, "But
here's yer consolation, Judge you're
gainin' on it MI the time, and It will
never catch you -
The prophecy was literally fulfilled.
Archie and Tom spanked the same
girl. One night Archie called on hor
and found her alone. After somo
conversation he burst out with
"MTss Moliie, do you think you
could leave this comfortable home,
kind father and mother, loving broth
ers and sisters, and 60 to the far West
with a young man who has little to
live on save his profession
"Miss Mollic laid her hand gently
on Archic's shoulder, with her ewes
about half closed, her ruby iips
slightly apart, and said softly
eyes, Archie, l think I could.
SWELL said Archie, "my friend
Tom is going West, and wants to mar.
ry. l will mention it to him"
In addressing Il class of young la.
dies, Elder Podson, said, iNow, nv
dears, you're afraid of bears, I sup
pose.' Young ladies look interest
ed) 'Wcll, you must always have
two bears in your house, (Young
ladies look alarmcd.) sYes, nv
dears, two bears must be ycur coin.
panions through life.' young ladies
frightened.) Yes, two bcars--bear
and forboar-must be nurtured in
your bosoms; (young ladies 20 in for
two bears.)
"Well," said an old judge to ne.
gro who had been hauled up for steal
ing pul!ct, "what have you to say
for yourself 2" "Nuf1in, but dis, t
was as crazy as bedbug when stole
dat ar pullct, cos mi ght have stole
big hen, and never done it. Dat
proves [ was laborin' under de deli.
um tremendous"
When man has hot got enough
money to pay for his dinner thsre are
plenty Of people ready TO give him a
cold shoulder.
Mon who endcavor to look fereely
by cuitivating profuse whiskers, must
be harem scarem fellows.
The most direct method of deter.
mining horse stand behind
and tickle his hind legs with briar.
The man who "challenged contra.
dictlon" got into an awful fight, and
was severely beaten.
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