Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-06-05
The Nice Young Man.

clever writer in late number of the Round
Table finds in the 90 Nice Young Man - pleasant
subject for satire. Young ladies are proverbi-
ally careless in their use Of epithets, and on nc
subject more SO than in their descriptions of their
gentleman acquaintances. The nice young man
will frequently be made to run through the gam.
let of adjectives, from I" perfectly splendid y to
perfectly awful" and occasionally he is so un.
fortunate as to be thought "sweet pretty.
But no epthet is so universal as e nice, and
scarcely any one is so inaccurate unless indeed
it be used in its original Specification of ignorant
The " nice young man." however, must now be
regarded as an established institution, and we
cannot, perhaps, do better than to give the
Round Tables characterization of him.
Every body knows the nice young man ; every
body has seen him. He is that mild and pleas
ing person who says ''Oh, yes p and " All, in
deed ~ with so much vivacity who is always
the first to hand around the ices at the party
who knows all about the weddings and engage
ments and balls who escorts the mamma to the
carriage, and suffers her TO converse at him so
amiably. He seldom talks much but he is so
nice. Generally he is in the dry goods line, and
frequently a member of the Young Mems Christ
ian association. He has been known to attempt
to teach in Sunday school, but the mental exer-
ton is commonly too severe. His personal ap-
pearance is not remarkable. He is usually fair,
with light hair and blue eyes. 1t is desirable
that he should have a moustache, -colored
if possible, and in size like an exaggerated eye
brow. His dress must be so perfect as to leave,
like himself no definite impression on the mind
except one of extreme niceness, and his back
hair should always be parted in an exact line
with the seam of his coat collar. Brains in
moderation are not, as we have already intima-
ted, an absolute objection, but their possession
should be carefully hidden. Ideas are fatal to
his supremacy. One of the incest young men
we ever knew lost forever his proud preeminence
from the fatal accidental commission Of a
thought. But feelings he may. indeed must
constantly exhibit; it is indispensable that the
real nice young man should be as sensitive as a
new author or public functionary accused oi
speculation. He may play little On the piano
or better still, on the guitar, and occasionally
sing to his own accompaniment in an unobtru-
sive tenor; sometimes he paints nicely, and of.
ten writes poetry of a sentimental nature no,
fatiguingly intellectual, and he dances-oh he
dances dviney.
The end and scope of the nice young man s
existence is not so easy to define. The poet
tells that thing of % beauty is JOY forever,
and the nice young man is always thing Of
beauty; then too, his fair worshippers probably
find him useful. He is always so obliging, SO
willing to carry parcels, so ready to escort one
to the opera OF ball. to make up set, or hold
| worsted, or to take dear Aunt Jane down to sup.
per, so eager, to do him justice, for any service
where eagerness does not need to be supplement
ted by intellect. And as these are two things
which somebody must do, the nice young mar
has bis place in the economy of creation. Per
haps he is entended to show how small guam.
tity of brains is necessary for human existence
We have sometimes thought that his mission
was to prevent one from marrying that nice CIR
who is his counterpart, whom everybody falls ir
love with, and, being sooner or later cut out by
the nice young man, blesses his star forever af
ter. On the whole, think it most probable
that the latter is the design of heaven in hi
creation.