The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-06-17
Witicisnns,

consultation With 4 physician.
"Mighty" business IN = snail COM
pass.--A cheesemongers.
When 10 q man like tea.kettle just
on the boil +? When he is going to sing.
Exclamation of some one Who had
seen Niagaga-"Oh, water falling of
was there2"
Why is . ane specimen Of hapdwri.
ting like . dead pig9 BECAUSE It's done
with the pen,
In the opinion Of the Lord Chamber
lain, every washerwoman oushtto have
her Iron clad '
"A prudent man. SAYS witty French
man is like pin. His head prevents
him from going too far.
"A widow out West emoved from the
st-ofice was only quoted by the
promise Of the new appoiutee to marry
her.
No Wonder! The man who Is drunk
half his time attempted last week to
eat the remaining portion but signally
failed
Why il a man who lives in Russia
certain not to be the same man who
lives in South America Why because
he's s.norther person.
| One ofthe students at Harvard who
| is determined to become proficient In
the figurative art takes bis meals on 9
multiplication table.
Our philosopher says that the 'ooil'
ton Of the Irish Church is ian esiao
lished fact" and that the Oransemer
are . "disestablished faction"
People sometimes mean better than
they say. A man rushed into to the
market recently and wanted q peck OF
salmon and three pound ofpeas.
We know lady who is SO fond Of
under scoring things in her letters that
she even dashes her wig sometimes
we beg pardon, her chignon.
Madame de Montespan was contln-
ually saying that she was thirty years
OF age. 1T must be true," said Tai
leyrand, Il have heard it these twenty
years."
"Plain.faced girls should dress plain
ly," remarks a lady ofauthorltv on fash.
ion. Was there ever young lady who
was willing to admit that she had a
plain face?
is your house q warm one, land
lord ?" asked gentleman in search
of house. "It ought 10 be-" was
the reply, "the painter give it Two le-
Gently"
Revolutions.-"Cory O'Lanus," has
good joke about the velocipede. He
thinks Mexicans ought to be the best
riders, because the more revolutions
you make the faster yougo.
Tall Trecs.-There are trees so tall
10 Missouri that it takes Two men and a
boy to look to the top of them. One
looks till be gots tired. and another
commences where he lett OF,
Why is the letter r very un1oru-
nate ? because it is always in trouble.
wretchedness and misery, is the begin.
ming of riot and rain, and is never fonnd
in peace, innocence or love.
Filial Gratitude,-'.Where's your
tilial gratitude you naughty boyf What
would you have been without your
kind father and motherr' Il suppose
as how I'd been an orphan sir!"
A gentleman lately addressed pas
sionate love.letter to alady in the same
Town adding this curious postscript:
"Please send speedy answer, as /
have somebody else In nv eye"
Blessed be the Syracuse, N. r, po-
lice court, for it learns people to mind
their own business. Alter it had dis.
posed ofprevious arrests it had all the
spectators brought forward aad fined
as Migrants
Pane and Grief.-Eouch Hunanita-
rian (who has run up against enraged
glacier with disastrous consequences
hes a precious uugratelul cove 10
abuse me'like that Tor removing a pane
from bic back
Wrong Sort Of Twin.-"You ought
always to take me out with you, my)
dear said . wife. "You know they say
hat happines was born alvin" Eyes
owe; but not . S'amess twin" replied
he brute ..
Sharp Eetort.-Au iupudeut law.
a,,soldies with very full
said. II say my dear fellow
vben are you going to place your beard
N . peace.footingI "Not uatil you
'lace your tongue on the civil list"
vas the retort. r.
Call to hear,--That you believe you
ave call to preach Is al vs:y we'll,
8 far a. it goes" said An old doctor Of
ivinity to q theological student. "Eut
o added 1--WE must wait and sec wheth.
{ people think they have . call to hear
ou," ... .-.......