The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-09-01
FACETIE.

all about you" give q party and tlou't
invite the folks "who live next door"
The fellow who slept nnder "the cover
of the night" complains that be came very
near freezing
Loving wife, at Long Branch-"rhe
horrid surf makes me keep my mouth shut. :
Sarcastic usbaud-"Take some of it
home with you"
Josh Billing says life IL like a noun
tain-aiter climbing up side and slid
ing down the other side, we put up the
sled.
The Elmira Advertiser says there is a
| young lady in that place SO refined that
instead OF saying biackguard she says
African Sentinel.
josh Billings says: "When a young
man amt good for anything else, / like
few see him carry a goldheadcd cane If
he can't buy a cane, let him part his hair
in the middle p
A foolish fellow advised friend not
to marry poor girl, as he would find
matrimony with poverty uphill work. y
'Goe5r," said his friend, Il would rather
go up bill than down, any time"
An Irislnan went to live in Scotland
for a-short time, but didn't like the coun-
/ try.
Il was sick all the time [ was there. =
said he, 'and il had lived there till this
time Id been dead a year ago"
Mature has written 'honest man on his
| face, said map TO Jerroid, speaking of a
person in whom Jerrold's faith was not
altoaether hliad,
"llumph y Jerrold replied "then The
pen mast have been a very bad one
At one of TIE ragged schools in Ireland
a Clergyman asked the question, "Whnt is
, holiness 2" 4 poor convert, in dirty, tat
tera rags, jumped up and said, PHASE "
reverence, lis to be clane inside
\ Madison avenue belle writes from the
White Mountains Its awfuly cold :; ] IN
| wrapped mp in shawls, and heye tearfullY
red nose. There are no eligible fellows
here, and | wish myse, 5}gain at Saratoga. =
The financial 6aITor of the Bennington
Banner reports. marriages duh: engage
ments depressed courtships good and
/ prime scandal, overstocked bellies plenty
beaux, scarce and Of poor quality.
/ sWhat shall do ?' exclaimed super
fastidous exquisite, as he paced his elegant
apartment in lino frenzy what is to be
done? / have scented my hair Il Ia violet,
and my lauadress has sent me my shirts
a la rose!
An English cockney at the Falls of
Niagara, when asked how he liked the
Fails, replied: They're 'ansome-quite
so but they don't quite hansen my hex
pectations besides, got vetted, aud lost
me at. prefer to look at em in an
hingravng, in of weather, and in the 'ouse.
An Irish, Judge had habit Of begging
pardon on every occasion. At the close
of the assze, "a be was about to leave the
bench, the officer of the court reminded
him that he had not passed sentence OF
death on one Of the criminals, as he had
intended. 'Dear me !" said his lordship
Il really beg his pardon-bring him in.
There are numberless jokes upon the
riders of veloeipedes. One of the l;ttest
comes from England, and is as follows
Jarvty to John Iat first sight Of q BICYCLE
wy, il ere ism ia cove rs been condemn
ed to transportation on a hitinerary tread
mill" mo, my old oneycomb it's only
/ the latest fashion in donkey carts, and the
1 donkey as runaway with itself, that's all.
| A young man having preached for DR.
I Edmonds one day was anxious to get q
word of approval for his labor of love-
The grave Doctor, however, did not intro
duce the subject, and his younger brother
was obliged to bait the hook for him:
81 hope, sir, did not weary your PEG
pie by The length of my serman to day"
mo, sir, not at all; nor by the depth
either
The young man was silent.
The PittsGeld Eagle says good story is
told of an amateur agreulturist living not
a thousand miles from Berkshire county
who was advised by one Of his neighbars
to plant sunflowers with his beans in order
to obviate the task of polling. He follow
ed the advice in due course of time beans
and sunnowers came up and waxed strong
i the beans coiling around the suulloweI
stalks beautifully and he congratulated
himself ON the fact that he had discovered
an effectual method Of raising beans with
out being driven to the dsagreeable necess
ty Of toting boan.poles from the. forest
But alas for human expectations, his bean;
were raised out of.the soil, roots and alt
in few weeks, by the rapid growth, of his
new fashioned bean-poles, and there they
hung whitening between heaven and earth
a melancholy testimonial of the UNCERTAIN
tenure Of all Parthly things.
/ DAMASCUS STEEL.-Some months
since the Battle Creek, Michigan, pat