davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
THE PACIFIC RAILROAD,

Excitement in CRlifOrnia-The Inst
RniI 10 be Laid To-day-The Event
TO be Observation-Disclosures Escape of
ExcursionisiS.
SAN Francisco, May 6.-The people
of this city and Sacramento are in a
state of feverish excitement in regard to
the completion of the Pacific railroad.
Grand preparations are being made at
both places for the observance of the
event, which will occur Saturday. The
bankers of this city have given notice
that their houses will be closed on that
day, and business will be generally sus-
pended. Arrangements will be made
with the Western Union Telegraph
Company, SO that each stroke of the
hammer on the last spike driven shall
be reported simultaneously in New
York and San Francisco by telegraph
Besides a silver mounted and polished
California tie and spike of gold, silver
pick and hammer for the completion
will be forwarded to the end of the
track.
The excursion train for the eastern
end of the Central road with the Com
missioners and Governor Stanford and
guests, was nearly wrecked yesterday
by-a large tree which had fallen across
the track; the obstruction was discov-
cred in time to prevent the passenger
cars from being injured, but the locomo-
tive was damaged and thrown from the
track.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
7 MEDICAL.
RALTrmoRR LOCK uosp,r,;
established as Refugc from Quackcrv -,
only place where cure can be Obtai5ca i
--f~ DR.. JOHNSTON

Especially, whe have become the victim, 80,
tary Woe, that dreadful and destruc.;iI,s, q 81
which annually sweeps to an untiTsIs eab'I
thousands Of Young Men Of the mo',! giav,
talents and brilliant intellect Who MI. e1Aie,
wise have entranced listening Sen..s. !. StAe'
thunder Of eloqnencs, or walked 70 sS,,.l A u,
thrilling Tyre, may call with full eOusSssS! ID.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
FINANCE AND TRADE
New York Money Market.
NV VAnu Nov

NEW YORK, May Z.
The excitement in Wall street con-
timed to the close of the day, and all
the markets are in feverish and I'M
settled condition. Private kilograms
from London were of gloomy charac-
ter, and the unofficial announcement
from Washington that the sinking fund
would not be put in operation until
after June 3Oth had n buoyant effect on
money and was very depressing on Gov.
ernments.
M0NEY-Easy at per cent, although
the demand was fairly active. National
bank notes are plenty and were offered
free of interest for three days on condi-
ton that the amount is returned in
greenbacks ut the expiration of that
time. Prime business notes pass at Sa
10 per cent.
FOREIGN EXCHANGE-Dull and
weak, owing to n sharp rise in gold
sales at 100 for prime bankers 60 days,
and 1895 for sight, although leading
firms generally are asking higher rates
! GOLD-Active, excited and higher
opened ut 1853, touched 1891, late in the
afternoon, closing at l36Sc; the bull'
were rampant and transactions enor
nous. Rumors from London were numer
Gus, including great panic, the fal
in bonds to Il, and an extra meeting o
the Bank of England to raise the rate o
discount. A great portion ofshort inter
est has been closed out and speculator'
are getting rapidly on the long side o
the market; the rates paid for carrying
were 1,&9, :, 8, II, 4a6 per cent to fiat
foreign bankers were chiefly purchaser,
to-day; clearances one hundred anG
Twenty-Five millions.
GOVERNMENT STOCKS - Heavy
and lower, with great pressure to sell
Coupons Of Isl, llSsallSs; do 90, ll7ts
ll7i; do "a, 1l3gallSi; do is, ll4sall4i
do new, ll5Sall5i; do ~, ll5sa1l5f
do '6S, ll5iall59; l0-4Os, 1074sl07s
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
Chicago MarkeI.

CHICAGO, May Z.
FLOUR-In good demand and firmer:
lOal5c higher; 3 OOa6 y for spring ex.
tras.
|. WHEAT-Quiet; No. / advanced 1c.
sales Mt l6al lS'; No. , scarce and
firm; lfa2C higher; sales at l2laI I3.
closing at bal Is. cash; sales since
Change at l l2;al -, sellers this
month.
CORN-Less active and firmer: 3a4c
higher; sales No. at 6Oia6lt; No. , AZ
57a5Sc; rejected at 55a553c; new at SOFA
SIC; closing at 6l3a62i for No. in
store.
OATS-Very firm; sale higher; sales
of No. , at 61a6lic; closing at 6lia6lSc.
RYE-Firmer; sales No. l at l6; No.
at l3al lis; closing with buyers ofNo,
ut 1l6.
BARLEY-Firm; sales at l 70al IS for
No. =; closing at 70; sample lots a,
l 75al so on track.
HOGS-Opened moderately sctive aud
l5a2Oo higher; 5 50aS 90 for common
to fair: 9 O0a9 80 for good to choice.
CATTLE-Active and l0al5c higher'
OOa5 90 for common to good cows;
25a6 80 for fair to good, and Z OOa7 81 !
for good to extra prime shipping steers,
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
New York Marker.

.-- NEW YORK, May Z.
CoTTON-Firm; sales 2IOO bales at
25ac tor middling uplands.
FLOUR-Closed more active and ga
10c better on low grades.
WHEAT-1c better for spring, with
a fair export demand. -. -,
RYE-Quiet and steady at 3lal -
for western.
OATS-Dull at 8GiaS7c for western in
store.
CORN-Dull and heavy at 9Oa9lc for
new mixed western and S9a9lc for old
mixed western in store and atloat.
PORK-Quiet at 81 10 for new mess,
cash and regular.
BEEF-Dull and unchanged.
CUT MEATS-In limited request at
steady prices.
BACON-Quiet and unchanged.
LARD-Dull at 1Sal8sc for fair to
prime steam.
EGGS-Steady at l9a2Oc.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08

by Telegraph to the Register.l
LONDON, May There has been
several heavy robberies of arms, ammu,
milton, &C., in various parts of Ireland
during the past few days. At Belfast a
large quantity of arms were stolen 4asE
evening. Five persons were arrested
this morning on suspicion. Dispatches
from Cork mention the preparation Oh
similar outrages. There seems to be
no doubt but that the cllprits belong
to Fenian organizations. The police
have been ordered to exercise unusual
vigilance. 81
terday all amendments to the Constitu-
ton relating to religion were rejected
and the clauses as they stood originally
finally adopted. 80. - f..
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
aliwcinuaii Market.
CINCINNATI, May q

CINCINNATI, moJ
FLOUR-Unchangsd.
GRAIN-Unchange .o-,o
COTTON-Firm; middling Sa<' ~.
TOBACCO-Unchanged and tir m AZ
fnil rates: sales 75 hhds at 9Oa5' oo'
WHISKY-Firm but quiet at 9oc'
MESS PORK-Sales at 81 O1.
BTLK MEATS-Held at l2al4ie.
BACON-Held at 13tc, 16tc and Hc
for shoulders, clear rib and clear SIDES
LARD-Held at 16c.
HAMS-Sugar c1red at IL al9c;
BUTTER-Firm for fresh made, out
dull for other kinds.
EGGS-Adyancsd to loo: -,
CHEESE-Held at l6al9c;
GROCERIES-Unchsnged. -,
POTATOES-very dull. the best Will
not bring over 4Oc per bushel Oh arrival
and forced sales have been made so low
as 30c.
OILS-Unchsnged.
GOLD-135 buying.
EXCHANGE-Steady at par to 81
premium buying, and lilo premium
selling.
MONEY-Plentier and market easy
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
CIereInnd Market.
CLEVELAND, May !

ULENELAND, My a
TTLOHR-Quist ard steady.
w mhEAi-No. red winter held at
CORNING. L at Tic.
OATS-Sales at 6gc. 81.
PEIkOLEUM-Quiet and unchanp-
cd; refined held at 5Oa3lc in car lots fer
standard white; trade lots 2a3c advance.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08

South for some weeks, had,an interview
with the President this morning con-
corning what they had observed while
on their trip to the Southern country.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
pANURUPT NOTICE,

T,HE CREDITORS OF BE :, E,5vt e; > : ,
West West virginia VI On the tth day q Us 81 |,
nave WHY the aid hsnry PArLiniST De -
- dIsebarssd from bis debts
fuPs -" " GEO. B. CALgss,trs5sG
v E.z Register Y 80
WHEELING, W. v, April JAZZ
auxiSOav7w
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
Letter FROM
CAPT. sILAs p. MILLER,

UAFI L. BILAS +. IAHA ~
Proprietor Of the BtEHStt H01Sc, CSEaHH5a-
BUSsTT HeUsE, February 9th, 1851.
To Ny FRIENDS AND THE PUBLIC:
1t affords me great satisfaction to be able Il
testify 70 the success Of DR.. Lighthin in the
treatment OF deafness, and express my sense OF
obligation 70 him Ny hearing has . en- in
paired for number Of years, At times 70 such
an extent a. to snbArrAss ne seriously. Dr..
Lghthill. under whose care placed myself has
removed the difficulty completely, and restored
ne to perfect hearing.
sILAs 7. MILLER
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
wei Autested cure of Cararrh.


DR.. A. p. LIGHTHILLS-DEAR SIR Your
treatment in the cure Of my Catarrh has had
the desired effect, and resulted in permanent
good TO me, although my case has frequently
been pronounced incurable and had exhaust
ed all other modes of treatment, without the
least benefit Ny case was 50 chronic and
tronblesOiAs. that by giving n few of the symp-
toms the value Of your treatment can be more
readily estimated. Fer yearsI had been afiict-
ed with constant cold in the head, obstructing
my breathing SO as to necessitste me to keep my
mouth epen duris sleep: latterly, the discharges
became solidihed and impacted in my nose to
such an extent that 1t required the greatest eI.
ertion to eIpel them. Sometimes these hard.
sned lamps would get in my throat, causing me
to havkEnd scrape even by the hour to relieve
myself. Ny breath was offensive my memory
became impaired. Dizziness and light hsadi
ness made their appearance, and Of lato symp
toms OF paralysis stepped in, and when placer
myself under your care one side Of my face was
sadly affected by this dread disease Ny gen.
erL health suffered alike, there was q constant
tired, droEsy and debilitated feeling, with nc
energy to move or act l felt as tired on rising
in the morning as did on going to my bed, my
appetite was capricious and nay disposition
morese. In that condition placed myself IN
der your care, and am happy to state that al
those disAEreeabls and dangerous symptoms
have entirely left me, and once more enjoy the
benefits of good health.
By giving this publicity you will benefit
others similarly affected and oblige me.
Yours truly, JAMES SoMMBRTILLE,
BrOok5iHE JCStrsOn county.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
Toledo Market.

TOLEDO, May
Flour steady. Wheat closed shade
better; fairly active for amber at
| 40; winter Michigan regular at 10.
Corn steady; No at 67ic on the spot;
&c seller last half month; No. 2 at G3!c;
yellow at nc. Oats lc lower at CSC for
Michigan. Rye unchanged. Barley
lull
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
STATEMENT OF
MIR. II. ID. McGEORGE,

..s- JaI,Ior Of the House Of Delegates.
WHEELING, December g, 1868.
I have visited Dr. Lighthill at the Mcclure
House and obtained his treatment for the cure
ofdeafhess and noiscs in tire ear, with which I
have suffered for the last four years, and can
say that I have been greatly benefited by its
use, although have applied it but twice, and
that the treatment is perfectly painless and
calculated to produce permanent and beneficial
results H. u. MCGEOhGb'
MOrOantoWH, ". Va. o.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08

Ihave known Mr.. James Sommerville, from
Brookville, Jefferson county, fer many yeara,
and can testify to his statement a. one Of ruth
and verScity.
Fkel<salt Liquor Dealer On Hand Street.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
DIR. JOHNSTON.

Member Of the Royal College OF SurgeOs, u.
doR- graduate from one Of the most en- ii.
Colleges in the United States, and the ,r.,,.
mart Of whose life haa been spent in the hc,s,
on London, Paris, Philadelphia and sl.sss,,
has effected some Of the most ASTONISHING r,.
mat were ever known. Many troubled >,
rim ting in the head and ears when asleep n.
nervousness, being alarmed At sudden sssrg,
hashfulness, with frequent blushing I,a,5s
sometimes with arrangement Of mind, ve,, n,
"A Immediately.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
Dissolution Notice.
COPPER, TIN AND SHEET-IRON
w O II Il y.

Avn NOW PRRPAR RED TO
Il make to order Copper Stills holding from
ten To one thousand gallons, and execute steam
distillory work OF all kinds. Brewers Kettles
made to order.
The attention Of Timers is especially called
to my stock Of Copper Kettles, which embraces
all sizes and will be sold at less than Pittsburgh
prices.
Being practical workman in Copper Tin
and Sheet Iron Ware, and as give the business
my personal attention, l guarantee satisfaction
TO all who may favor me with their orders.
L. j. DUFFIELD Agt.,
feb5-wly Water street, Wheeling, W Va
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
New York Dry Goods slnrker.

New YORK, May7
Dizziness and depression are still the
predominant features of the dry goods
trade in all its branches, and in order to
effect sales and close out invoices Of
goods concessions have to be made on
some classes of goods every days
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
TAKE NOTICE.

Patients are hereby informed that after the
first visit they can take the treatment home
and use it until cured without pain or interrupt.
ton to their usual vocation.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
TAKE PARTICULAR NOTICE

DR.. J. addresses all those who have II.g,
themselves by improper indulgence and ,O-u.
habits, which ruin both body and nind, 51,,.
them Tor either business, study, ,ocisu
marriage.
fects produced by carly habits OF you'll v
weakness of the Back and Limbs. Pan, q
Head Dimness Of Sight, Loss Of Musrui, >,
ar PHlpitation OF the Heart, Dyspepsia. Y,r,,,.
Irritabinty, Derangement OF the Ogr.uy. y,,
tons, General Debility, symptoms Of C5s,-s,
ton, &C.
MESTALLI.-The fearful eject on t,s,,
are much 70 DO dreaded-Loss Of Nem.r !.
fusion OF Ideas, Depression Of Spirit !
Forobodings, Aversion TO SaCiety, Sell p51g
Love OF Solitude, Timidity, SC, are sout e 4,
evils produced.
Thousands Of persona OF all AEe, q, 81,
Judge what ID the cause Of their declining F,,.
losing their vigor, becoming wSaL nal, !,
yous and emAciated, having singular APPS.
ance about the eyes, 0ough ard syuptsb.,
| Consumption.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08

IL takes the Massachusetts, Courts but
three minutes to unite the matrimonial
knot. Five couples were put through
at that rate, a few days ago.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
ORGANIC WEAKNESS

Immediately Cured and Eun visOrR
wis Distressing Affection, which rerd,,,
miserable and Marriage impossible, n H. -, =
~ paid by the victims Of improper inSp r, -
Young persons are too apt to commit sIs s,,.'
nom not being aware Of the dreadful =.
anances that may ensue. Now, who Ia, -, 49,
lands tho subject win pretend TO denT ~, 4
poWer OF procreation is lost sooner by d.. y
ing into improper habits than by the ~.
Besides being deprived OF ne pleasure d "a
offspring, the most serious and destruetirs,ys,
S@oomes Deranged, the Physical and H.
functions weakened, loss Of ProereAtivs p.
Nervous Irritability, Dyspepsia, Palpiat,, .
the Heart, Indigestion, constitutional Dtsl
a wasting of the Frame, Cough, COusqn,f,
nacav and Death.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
VOTING MY

Who have Injured themselves by a ,0rt.lu Mn.
tice INDUCED in when alone habit irvausut,
learned from evil companions OF Il sthoo, o.
effects Of which are nightly felt. even vbu
asleep. and II not cured renders marriage 10
possible. and destroys both mind and Aol
should apply Immediately,
What pity that young man, the Bop, r
his country, the darling Of his parrsU ,Aos
be snatched from all prospects and sS0ynsEy
of life by the consequences Of devtAuhG iros
the path of nature and iRdulging in osrII
secret habit. Such persons must before cs
templatinI
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
MARRIAGE;

Reflect that 4 sound mind aud body ~ ~
most necessary requisites 10 promote eObEIsI
happiness. Indeed, without these the lol1H
through life becomes = weary pilgrtnAs' y
prospect hourly dArkens 10 the view %, az
becomes shadowod with despair and aIst "a
the melancholy reflection thai the hPp.a's'
another becomes bliRhted with our ovu
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
WHOLESALE GRoCERs.

WE INVITE THE ATTENTION
w of dealers to cur large and complete stock
and propose to offer inducements surpassed BY
no iObbing house East or West.
300 Bags Prime Rio Coffee.
50 Hhds. Prime and Choice y. o. Sugar.
IS do Demarara Sugar.
- do Porto Rico and Cuba Sugar.
$50 Barrels Refined Sugar.
300 do Prime N. y. MOlasses.
50 do Syrups.
81 Tierces Prime Carolina Rice.
Teas, Tobacco, etc, etc.
1900 Barrels Flour, standard and reliable
brands.
5000 Pieces Bacon Hams.
5000 do do Shoulders
4OCO do Sides and Briskets.
300 Barrels Mess Pork.
100 Tiercss Prime Leaf Lard.
800 Kegs Family do do
80 Barrels Extra Water Lard Oil.
50 do Carbon Oil.
~ Barrels HOminy.
50 do White Navy Beans.
Our stock Is kept constantly full, and orders
SLED with promptBess.
feb3 LIST, MORRISON & co.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
MARRIAGE.

Married Persons, or Young Na eo,,.
ing Marriage, being aware Of Psv,ir.v SspIl
mes organic debility, defomiSs,~ Nest
cured. roSl'!
he who places himself under tie e.,
+. nav rehgiously conhde in his hOpo- IL
tismAn, and confidently rely upon Bis ,in .
physician.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-05-08
DISEASES OF IMPRUpENCE


When the miARuided and imprudsri rUisI
pleasure finds that he has imbibed the - 8
this painful disease, IL too often hAgPsl, ~
an ill.timed sense Of shame or dread Of dEsTr'
deters him from applying 20 thOss Eh'. iros =
ucation and respectabiHty, can alone e'7's.
him, delaying till the constitutionsi ,ynftsl's
this horrid disease make their appsa1h" ud
As liberated ssrs throat diseased noss uD'Er-'
pains In tho bead and limbs, dimhos, o H.i'
deafness, nodes on the shin bones AZ a.
blotches on the Eead, face and oIifrn,aH
crossing with frightful rApidity I'll
paIate Of the mouth or the bones
fall in. and the victim Of this awful disss
comes horrid object Of oommiseratloh 8 10 s.
puts a period 10 his dreadful suffering by -
ing him 10 THAT Undiscovered County y
whence no traveller returns
Iii melancholy fact that Thousands 2, .
tins to this terrible disease, owing 70 ~ Z
skillfullness Ofignorant pretendeu, Hho. Y I
use Of that DEADLY Poison, hEkcVAi fuh
constitution and make the residue OF ne -
able.
OFFICE SOUTH FREDERICK sTREi
Left hand side going from BAltmsrs Su"
few doors from the corner. - f@' h"'
serve name and number, ,y.
~ No letters received unle'. post pa
containing a stamp % b usea on "
PoraOns writing should state as'' ADO 80
non of advertisement describing symFt01i
The Doctors DIPLOMA hang In be 90
ENDORSEMENT OF TIKI rREA
The many Thousands cured At thI s'k'a
mont within the last twenty years Ana ~
merous important Surgical Operations , =.
BY DIR. Johnston, witnessed by tho ~ r..
the Sun, and many other paperr, Rolios's
appeared again and again before the ~
sides his standing As a gentleman o. - -.
and responsibility, Ia = sufficient guAf'i -
afflicted.
Skin diseases speedily cured. 40
Smyrna times., 1869-04-21
Doctors.
By THE JOLLY WHITE BOY.

When dad has a son that sets too much,
and hasn't brains enough to make merchant,
he sends him to college to study profession.
as a feller has studied "Materia Medica
long enough to get diploma, he is ready to
start doctor shop. He gets the front room
of some boarding house, kept by a widder, who
lets it to him cheap because he is single man /;
then he sticks out tin dressmaker' s sign, pain
ted on to it :" Office hours from to ?. NJ. P"
sticks up lot of old beef bones, with stock
of leather books in glass case, hangs up a
picture of tumor as big as a cabbage, has his
floor sprinkled with pulverized hquorice-stick
instead of sawdust, SO as to make the room
smell Materia Medica" like then to make
folks think he is overrun with trade, he gets a
big hat-stand, sets it in the hall, and fills ii
chock full of old hats.
A doctor also has to have a horse-without
one he'd be worse than a turtle without shell
wimmin would spurn him from their front
doors. Doctors horses amt much on speed
and are fast only when they are hitched; and
they always look as though they were pos
sessed with astrong desire TO stop and sit down
| A horse that is so lazy shat he lays down to bC
harnesscd is good doctors horse. Hunk
dori" doctors have niger boys to ride will
them and hold their horses, as though the.
were fery-like.
Doctors can ride Sundays and not be wicket
nor told by the good wimmin that they ough
to be ashamed of themselves.
Once L had to get up early mornings, and
got doctor to subscribe for it, he gave m
wild cherry bark, and said bark would wake M
Smyrna times., 1869-04-21

up, and didn't cost so much as black k-and tan.
Doctors have wasted lots of science according
to the best authority the world has been turn
ing on its own axis six thousand years since 1t
was first discovered by Mr.. Adam, and these
felers have been studying anatomy ever since,
and it has took 'em all this time to find out
that stewed prunes is just as good as billed
seidlitz powders in some cases; and 1t seems
like only day before yesterday they discovered
that poor devils with fevers might drink aqua
(watcr).
Doctors require patients, and they are bully
on approaching bedside; they excel IN that
respect; they beat the silent tread of muses.
all hollow. Sometimes it depends on the good
looks of the doctor where the patient says the
disease is located. l have known doctor who
was exceedingly .hOmcly, being told the disease
was in the head when it was not. After doc
tor gets to bedside it depends upon circum-
stances what they do; generally they seize the
snow white wrist, stick finger on it, and haul
out watch and make their lips go; then they
make the palid countenance open Its Pal!ld
mouth, and stick out its palld tongue so Tar nc
| can see the warts growing on his Wlndplpe.
Then he will nuke a minute investigation OF
the coating upon the tongue, that looks like 1t
might be growing white hair to make rabbit
pincuShiOn for a ladies' fair. Then the old
cuss will blow his nose q professional blow,
shake his head and say:
How long has this been thus p
The pallid countenance, will tell him:
"This was thus the fore part of the week. "
The doctor will then haul out his book and
charge the paid countenance four dollars
Then he Il write something on piece OF pa
per that you can't tell whether it is an order
for glass of soda-water or for putty blower
and send it around to the apothecary shop, and
the apothecary man will stick number l65, 965
on it, and charge seventy FIVE cents tor doing
so. Doctors never stop calling at four dollars
call until the patient is able to do his buSines:
without his assistance.
Doctors are ike mad dogs IN. D. stand,
for each, and each should BE avoided Ole
wimmen can be had cheaper, and one old WON
an in the case Of chicken pox is worth more
than all the Materia Medica" fellers yol
can hunt up l am tolerably healthy cuss
and a woman brought me up, and was raiseC
on catnip tea, onion poultices, and one cow
milk.
Smyrna times., 1869-04-21

A BURLEY-LooKING FEMALE of unmistaka-
BILE Celtic organ was recently arraigned before
magistrate for some ordinary offence; While
health and physical strength, the question of
good looks had been neglected in the haste
with which she had been prepared for the
world.
"What are you up here for?'' inquired the
magistrate.
"My beauty, I reckon.
"YOur whatP"
"My beauty"
Are you certain of that?''
"Oh, bedad there's no mistake"
"Then discharge you-you amt guilty."