Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1869-10-15

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since the house of prominent resident o
New York was entered by a burglar. and
some valuable jewelry and other property
stolen and carried away. But before leav-
ing the house, it appears that he paid visit
to almost every apartment in it. Traces Of
him we're found above and below stairs
wherever, indeed. it was probable that val
uables could be obtained. 1t so happened
that one member of the family belong to that
much abused and very excellent class of So
ciety called cold maids" She is a free
hearted, generous lady, intelligent and re-
fined and the only fear that her we'll balanced
mind has ever known, is the apprehension
that in some evil hour Satan will lure her
affections in to keeping of that abomiuation
of her mind, man. Now, whether the
burglar knew this popularity of the lady's
mind or not, he, at all events, determined
to pay her very practical joke. To this
end he carefully removed from the chair on
which she had neatly folded and laid it, all
her wearing apparel, and substituted from
another room complied suit Of gentlemens
clothes. Then taking off huge pair of false
whiskers, he carefully adjusted them to the
face of the sleeping lady Of course he
could not wait to see the denouement, but
that pleasure was reserved for the family the
next morning. Awakening at an early hour
the lady proceeded to the mirror to enjoy
look at her face. The first glance petrifed
her with horror. Was she indeed man p
The latest superstition Of her nature revi-
wing she imagined that Satan had been play
ing her horrible revenge for her animosi-
ty to the male creation She staggered to
a chair, and almost broken hearted, conclud-
ed to dress and send for barber. But now
she noticed for the first time that her clothes
were gone, and gentlemar's outfit was
substituted in their stead. She was certain
now that the metamorphose was complete,
and resigning herself to the situation tried
to don the apparel. But having no expe-
riehce in the adjustment of this new-fanged
apparel, and habit being stronger than in
stinct, she found that every time she put the
pantaloons over her head, she encountered
an impeachment that dc6ed all her Efforts to
overcome. In short the pants would not 60
over her head. At last. in despair. she
rang for assistance, and her maid appearing
at the door, she cried out:
"Don't come in Betty, for [ am man,
now; but just please step and ask my broth
er if he usually puts his breeches on over
his head, or commences feet foremost"
It is needless to say the message aston
ished the household. 1t was some time be-
fore the lady would admit to her apartment
any one OF either sex, for fear she might
make mistake but finally, one, more ad-
venturous than the rest pushed epen the
door, and soon convinced the sorely troubled
maid that she had not forsaken her estate
but was yet one of the angels of the earth.
A MARR1AGE.-A thrilling announce
ment has just been made which will carry
fire and sword into the hearts of countless
bachelors, and perhaps be the means of aug
menting the already overlooking ranks of
spinsters 1t is said that couple have
lately been joined in the bonds of holy wed
lock in Iowa, by female preacher, and that
when the ceremony was over-probably just
as the frightened Benedic was beginning to
breathe again-the Reverend Miss who had
oficiated stepped briskly forward, quite as a
matter of course and kissed the shrinking
bridegroom The world is not told whether
the astonished victim received this salute
with masculine enthusiasm or feminine re-
luofopoo