The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-05-28

pr..,asut Berxh OF the Antierasiv society Is
,.s,ny measures TO stop tho very common p'S
tice Of beating eggs.
ys.,. \. . man I'm Chicago who possesses SO TO
,..,s.h,. n memory that he Is employed by me
various benevolent societies TO remember inc
poor"
An tr,.hman being asked what he came TO
.r..,,e. fr. aid, "Is't what came here for, you
name, Arsh, by the powersi you may be sure
tina, 4, wasn't for sa.f, for had plenty OF that ut
home"
A young lady at Troy while engaged In CONVEX
sation with gentleman few days snee' spoke
OF having resided In 81. Louis twas ~. Louis
xour native place. inquired the gentleman.
.well yes-ys,t Of tAs tiss, !" responded the lady.
GLOW heavily you wsikr' exclaimed Mrs.
Macwhack, on hearing her husband tumble mp
stairs last night. swell my dear" was the grun
response, ar you can get barrel Of whiskey mp
stairs with any less noise should like TO sec you
do It."
Thomas, speli:weaiher.- said sehooimas,er
10 one OF his pupils.
-w.Lea-th-le-r, weather"
swell, Thomas, you may sit down. said the
tsachsr. 81 think that Is the worst spell OF wealth
,-o.a . pa, -, "o",y ~ ."' ..,.' IN
..., =, - , -, - ,,n,1,,
an friend, "sure an II you put Il In to-day, you
can draw II out again tomorrow, by giving fort
Lille L., win her little brother, eaiiei ~
house on her way 10 school, one cold morning, 70
warm. Some doubts were expressed rs 10 he'
brotner being Odd enough 10 attend schooi' I'm,
yesT says Lille, he Is SIX, ana mother says
ne hadn't been SICK nc "ouiu nave oeeh ~ "A''
o. 's'sS" e''"'
A lawyer was once pleading lease that brought
tears into the jurors eyes, and every one gave up
the case as gone for the plaintiff. But the opPos'
Ing counsel arose and said; MAY u please lne
Court, j do not propose In this case 10 pore ior
water. but" Here tho tears were suddenly
dried. laughter ensued, the RIGHTEOUSNESS oi inc
case was exposed, and the defendant got clear
Two editors in Chicago undertook 10 produce
yelocipede ON a new and improved pattern. One
was 10 furnish the money, and the other the IN
yentive skill large three wheeled anair was
secretly constructed Ia basement anu "nen I'M
ished u was ionnd 10 oe se'e''h in'"'' "' WV.
than the doorway. The Two e,il'ors AZ. CONSUL
ing wnether 10 'ear oo"h '"' "o"'o W '"' ''''>
Pedc.
Some arthmetician calculates that " a tooacc"
chewer consumes two inches Of plug day. Tor
my years, he will chew In that period, sNt''ionr
hundred and scveuty.hye feet, OF nearly haif
mile an inch thcA, and two inches broad costing
two thousand and siNty'fye doiiarsi Ana eject
-, -, .,oI, int, n..,Iy ,ven,y.three hun.
,, -" ...,,u.,.,r, ,.le AMI a,most |
NV" -. a.,
enough W noa' '''' '''"'
Mr.. Z. was In the habit OF asking MS ehhureh
to repeat the text, ON their return nom ehurch 10
prove that they gave attention. one saooa'h inc
text was, "Why stand ye here all tho day Idle
Go into my vineyard and work. and whatsoever
l. right will pay thee" Charlie came home, and |
was asked to repeat the text. He hesitated
momen mt, and then. as II u just came 10 him amer
much thought, he said "what are you stan'lin'
round here doing nothln' forl Go into my
harvard and work. and I'll make n all right