The Portland daily press., 1869-05-12
THE PRESS,
Wednesday Morning, May IL, 1869.


EY- First Page To-Day-The Escaped Men
agerie; Letter from New Hampshire: A Ire
mendous Reputation; The Dark Day; Letter
from Bath; Recent Publications; A Canadian
Picture of Canada; Atrocious Cant: Clean
ings and Gossip.
Fourth Pdge-The Ballad of Little Billee; A
California Yarn; The Golden Prophet
The Descendant of Pocahontas, or the
Man that PuiIed GEN. JaclssOn's Nose.
1t is now some weeks since the demise of the
illnstrious individual in whose honor we pen
these lines was announced, and the New York
dailies in which the hero of an unprecedented
nasal engagement was written up are already
as dead as the Pharaoh's We thought at the
time to put the matter off with simple para
graph. But it can't be done. 1t haunts the
Imagination and disturbs the rest more and
more every moment it is neglected, like those
unuuiet unreasonable, uncomfortable antique
ghosts of individuals who were buried without
the conventional rites of the period. Behold
we, then, Robert E. Randolph, cousin of cyn-
ical old John of Roanoke and a lineal descend
ant of Pocahontas, pulling the sacred nose of
Gen. Jackson Let it not be supposed that
our hero satisfied his wounded feelings by A
mere insulting imposition of hands, for the
historic truth is that hegave the historic nose of
the most irascible of Presidents before johnson
real good pull-not only pull, but an exas-
perating twist, causing physical torture as well
as mental anguish. II the picture of Jackson's
Homeric wrath did not present itself so wildly
to the mind we might stop here to make Sc
wiz NV fIaafd oil
those weary days when Andrew johnson was
hourly putting the whole nation beside itself
with rage that nobody pulled has nose? There
indeed a mythical story that can be tracel
to no authentic SOURCE that when he passed
through Lynchburg on his way to Washington
certain patriots of that town, carried away by
holy zeal for the Confederacy, did that very
thing. Though the story has only its own
antecedent probability to give it currency it is
easy to believe it, for surely no organ was
ever formed the shape, the size, the general
conformation and the expression of which so
marked it as intended and predestined to be
pulled 1t was and is, whether in Office or out
nose affordng heater facilities for prehen-
sion than any known to contemporary his
tory. For four years it offered itself in the
-
whole world to come and pull it.
But this depression disturbs the dramatic
unities the devetailedness of ideas which
it is our settled purpose to preserve in this
narrative. The circumstances that impelled
him who had the blood of Indian royalty in
his veins to pull Gen. Jackson's nose grew out
of the latter's relations with the famous Mrs
Eaton, wife of the Secretary of War. Before
this lady was Mrs. Eaton she was Mrs. Tim
berlake, and Mr.. Undertake was dishonest
purser in the Navy, dying an incumbent of
that office. Randolph was his successor aud
found out his Irregularities. Meanwhile Mrs.
Timberlake married the Secretary of War,
who was surety for her deceased husband as
well as for Rando. phi. 1t became necessary.
therefore, as the friends of Randolph say. to
shift the responsibility of the frauds from the
shoulders of the late Timberake to those of
his successor. and accordingly Randolph was
removed in disgrace by Mrs. Eaton's alleged
Presidential lover. Hence Achilles wrath
and the attack the bridge of Jackson's
nose, comparable only with Burnside's assault
on the stone bridge of Antietam or Napoleon's
magnificent charge ON the bridge at Lodi
How Jackson must have roaredl How might
lily his heart must have throbbed with anger!
The luxury of that single tweak cost the hero
ic Randolph two years of exile, lodging about
from place to place. to escape the vengeance
of Jackson's partisans.
Perhaps this story would never have been
laid before our readers at SO great length, but
a gentleman writes all the way from Wash
ington about it, and wants the res geste Of
al nb If,1xr all Ia
ed down to future generations with that of
Erostratus, the youth who fired ''the Ephesian
DOME"
MORAL.
The moral is an old and very trite one
There is great deal of humbug about fame.
Halt the great regulations are fictitious and
won by efforts unworthy of so great results
Here is our Randolph, for instance, with his
name engraved as deeply ON historic tablets as
his who invented the locomotive or the sewing
machine. Printers ink, judiciously applied,
can make as good hero in six months, as any
where appears in the chronicles of the past
1t is ruth that some sage long since discov-
cred that man who can stand on one leg
longer than any other man shall have the APP
plause of his contemporaries and be known to
posterty. A mere accident of birth or a mere
trick of fortune may be good passport to i'm
mortality Louis Napoleon has his pedestal
because he is the nephew of putative uncle;
the Prince of Wales, his, because Her Majesty
the Queen was graciously pleased to be at the
trouble of bringing him into the world Booth,
his because he had the physical courage to
fire pistol, which any idiot might do; George
Francis Train his because he has no delicacy
about making humorous exhibition of him
self in public; Fisk, Dis, because he has
dwarfed his moral nature to such an extent as
to make legal robbery his regular profession
The list might be indefinitely extended with
the names OF those who owe their fame either
to chance or infamy. The conclusion of the
whole matter is that you may labor all your
years faithfully, disinterestedly, effectively, for
the good of the race and make appreciable adj
ditions to the sum of human happiness or
knowledge, and find yourself at last after all
your tolls and good works, an unknown man
decking with immOrtelles the tomb Of the
proud Virginian who pulled General Jackson's
nose!
The ASSOCIATED RUMsELLERs.-The liquor
dealers of Boston held an adjourned meeting
at the Parker House, Monday, adopted a Sc
ries of resolutions and organized. The reso-
lutions set forth that the use of liquors is me-
cessary and proper and that it has been inter-
fered with by special legislation to their pc
cuniary damage. The organization is to be
known as the massachusetts Protective I'm
lon of Hotel Keepers, Manufacturers and
Dealers in Wines and Spirits'' One hundred
thousand dollars is to be raised by voluntary
subscriptions and used by the officers of the
association and an executive committee of fif
ty as may best subserve the purposes of the
organization
SPICY The North Carolina Standard, pub |
iished at Raleigh, is of the most savage |
papers IN the Union. 1t slashes right and left, |
at friend or foe, with the utmost recklessness.
The New Berne Times having said that evil |
mingtol and Raleigh are quarreling about |
which is the largest town, and neither of them |
amount to much anv wavs, tho STANDARD No