Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1869-11-04

-Neckties with little mirrors in the centre O
the bow, is the latest fashion with the ''nobby'
lads. What nexta 5--
THE MAN WHO CRIED,
AND HOW WILLIAM wAcKs MADE HIM LAUGH
In the first place, wish the reader to under
stand that the following "tale'' i. none of my
own unfolding. 1t belongs wholly and solely to
my friend William Wacks. 1t is not a sea tale
although it is very watery. 1t is q tale Of the
"briny," but not of the deep. l will let sweet
William unfold it in his own Words which are,
as near as don't forget them, us folows:-
You know-commenced William-you know
that the name of this old codger who cried wal
Reuben Willer, and all his neighbors called him
The Weeping Wller, for short, because he was
the most leaky old vessel you ever did see. And
you can bet that he never died q natural death,
but, like Miss Niobe, of whom you have read,
just melted away In tears His face was always
as long as one of Garrett Davis speeches, aud
you would think there was funeral In his family
every day in the week. And funerals were his
strongest hold. Reuben would travel ten miles
afoot to attend q funeral; and when the people
observed Reub. sitting in carriage near the real
of tho solsr,n cortege tbev ,vould ,porve, muc,
and ask why he was not ut the head of the pro-
cession, mingling his tears with the mourners-
for he shed more tears than all the mourners
combined, you know. And Reubens friends
would accost him the next day, and tender him
their sympathies, and ask him If that was the
last of his relations that was consigned to the
tomb yesterday; and then ihe weeping Willer't
lacrymal gland would open anew, you know, and
he would nonplus hi. friends bv renIyiny that h,
A., ~, s =, :. A..
uia hot KNOW whose corpse IL was, ana lnat ut
had never buried relation.
There was praycvnrd near Rcuben,s hans,
-, ,,N'4, :,
where ne would wh'ie away MS leisure houfs IL
tranquility and tears. He knew every epitapf
ont of bool, inst as eosv MS bis A r. Ga. and h,
,,,a,,,, ,.,ssu ..a,,.,a .,,,,u,. .,,.,o ~, -.
"ou'u ine'nu'' a'ouuu "nions 'no'o o'u hose
grown graves, strewing each mound with hi:
tears SO copiously, that you would infer that mo-
only hi. fathers hut bis forc motbers onf
s"i' "'' 'uv ,'o io,o o.n'' an.
iore grahamothers,anda aii inc rest OF nus Rindree
were slumberiug there. But they weren't, yol
| know. This sort of thing Reuben indulgcd il
for some time when the sexton who, "gather.
them i'm come to the conclusion that the Weep
ing Wier was perfect old nuisance you know
AIRED Monuments ,nti the ero,,nd became 81
moist and damp that the stones could not pro
serve their equilibrium, and all the vegetation
| became rotten, so that the only vegetables yor
| could have raised In that "city of the dead,
were salt oysters or dried herrings.
| Reuben Willer laughed-or rather cried In hi
sleeve at droughts. There was never dry spcl
within oIarter of milo OF his premises hn,
there was something gained in Reuben being hi
own rain storms, too, Tor when the vegetables
were placed on Tie table il was found they wer,
sufficiently seasoned as far as salt was concerned
| And when he "put up his winters pork he di,
| not 70 to the EXPENSE of purchasing the necessa
| ries for uicklipp. YOU know. but he would ius
tarry until he cot good spci OF cry on. and thuI
he would 20 and mourn over those deflnc
| porlsrrs mill n sufficient amount of nicl<Ie wn
abtained F'oA'o wa
Now this sort of thing had very dampcnin.
effect on The Weeping Willer's famiy-whicl
consisted of his wife. Two sons. a daughter and
| bircd manNsnd tbev tried vnrions ,naihods \
dam This leak in the old mans lacrynlal basin an
Tins prevent Tho constant fiow Of Tho limni
fluid, You know; and TO this end they offered
reward Of fifty dollars to any nerson who suf
ceeded in drawing n longh from Renhen
u,outd ha snm.,hina naw Snndar tho am to- hi
family tn nee n smile On the old gentleman's fae,
and II thew cond onlv hear him indXlge in
laugh. they said they would not have lived 1
tba " ardmnns W ia.i. nS nrodncin% % that louSbNnS
fnr Tho indpcement hsId ont in tho naltrv tirt
dollars but for lhe intense love 1 bore the Weet
ing Willer's family-especially tha dauyhte
whose name ,vas Ange,na 'Ns NNNe-'S
XII nrenareS nv ammunition. and the first cbarp
1 fired at the old sinners head was volume I
London Punch and don't you think the weepin
humbug shed tears enough while was readin
that little hunchbacks pages to wash out all III
Jokes in the volume. which was quite superfiou
for some of the iokes were Wntery enough
wash themselves ont. Won know and nj eac
!, particular sidcsplittiDg joke he would groa
awiuily, and pull from MS coatail pocket m ar
n,,hon.r' hodn', ,nnci Soia,, IN ,Sc hoot ."'
| .--..-r1 .t.. ar, L.na,,,n -. .,au,, A,,..;a.