Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1869-01-07
Notes by Mark Twain.

and cod on the other, ana whether
sneeze or blow it is all one; | get th
lockj4w anyhow. / never fully comprt
hended before how inscrutable are tn
ways Of Providence, for my feeble finit
wisdom is utterly stumped with the sin
pie problem of what great and good en-
is to be accomplished by the comforting
of this boil and this cold on me both a
the same time; but Providence under
stands it easy enough. The ways of Prov
| idence are too inscrutable for the sub
scriber.
| have not been working very hard, Blu
| have got this book of mine ready for tn
| engravers and electrotypers at last, though
| it will not be issued from the publishing
house till March. Not knowing wha
else to name it, | have called it "Tht
New Pilgrims Progress This remind
me that | sec by the papers that an
going to China in the spring / was not
quite certain of 1T before, but | am now
l suppose Ny featuring engagement.
extend far into March, and | shall have
sample time 10 think it all over
Don't direct any more letters to me al
Hartford until find out which Hartford
live in. They mix such things here in
New England. | think l am in Hartford
proper, bat 10 man may hope to be GER
tain, for right here i'll one anest we have
Hartford, and Old Hartford, and New
Hartford, and West Hartford. and East
Hartford, and Hartford the Hill, and
Harttord-around-generalIy. 1t is the
strangest thinE--this paucity Of names in
! ankee-land. You find that it is not a
matter confined to Hartford, bnt is a dis
tembcr that affiicts all New England
They get name that suits them, and then
hitch Distinguishing handles to it, and
hang them on all the villages round about
1t reminds me OF the man who said that
Adam went on naming his descendants
untll.he ran out of names, and then said
gravely, Let the rest be called Smith"
Down there ut New Haven they have Old
Haven, West Haven, South Haven, West
by-sou' West Haven, and East-by-east-
nor east-half-east-IIayen, and the Oldest
man in the world can't tell which one OF
them Yale College il III. The boys in
New England are smart, but after they
have learned everything else they have to
devote couple OF years to the geography
IF New Haven before they can enter col
legs, and then half of them can't do it till
they go TO sea voyage and learn how to
box the compass. That is why there are
% many more New England Sailors than
my other. Some of them spend their
whole lives in the whaling service trying
o fit themselves for college. This class
# people have colonized the City of New
Bedford, Mass. 1t is well known that
of the old salts there, became
Id salts just in this way Their lives are
failure-they have lived in vain-they
ave never been able to get the hang of
be New Haven geography.
In this connection they tell the story of
stranger who was coming up the Con-
ectlcut river, and was trying his best to
leep; but every now and then the boat
yould stop and man would thrust his
cad into the room. First he sung out
Haddam"' and then East Haddam ~
nd then "Haddam Neck :" and then
Little Hadam!' "OId Hadam, :" New
iadam." Irish Hadam,' dutch Had
am = Haddan-Hadda1n y and then the
ranger jumped out of bed, all excited
nd says; I'm Methodist preacher, full
grace, and forty years in the service
.ithout guile I'm meek and ,lowly
hristian, but d-n these Haddams,
ish the devil had EN-, l say"
The gentlemen of the Courant have
ven me fac simile copy of the first
sue of that paper 1t is about twice as
rye as a sheet of foolscap, and bears date
ct. 30, 1.64-something over hundred t
ears ago In its news columns, under
ate of Boston, October Sth'-for it will c
, remembered that news travelled slowly
those days-I find broad hints of the
satisfaction among the colonists, which
as within the next 10 or IL years, to i.
eed the American Revolution Read {
There seems to be a disposition in |,
any Of the inhabitants of this and the I
lghboring governments to clothe them
Ives with their own manufacture
British taxation without representation
IS worrying them. Again:
at is now out of fashion to. put on Z,
burning at the funeral of the nearest
Iation, which wiz make saving to this
wn of twenty thousand sterling per an
I'M. 1t is surprising how suddenly, as 4
W generally, an old custom is abolished
shows, however, the good sense of the =
WI. for it is certainly prudent to re-
nch our extravagant expenses, while
have something left to subsist our :
YES, rather than be driven to it by fatal [
2essity.
We hear that the laudable practice of Al
gality is now introducing itself in all Ii
; neighboring towns, an instance of o.
ich we have from CharlestoWn, at a hi
leral there the beginning of last week, "a
ich the relatives and others attended p
.hout, any other mourning than which II
prescribed i'll recent agreement m,
Indeed, we are told that AL the funer- ="
of last week were conducted on the -.
V Plan of Frugality. III.
Nothing but frugality can now save g"
tressed northern colonies from~imro~d RI
ruin 1t ought 10 be consolation to ter
good people of a certain province that IN
greatest man in it exhibits the most :.
id example Of this political as well as Va
raj virtue" III
Who could he have been Has his %,
atncss totally passed from history and IN
memories OF men ap
)aunot You fancy the ancient editor Of loi
Connecticut Courant of a hundred de
rs ago. in round Ben. Franklin specta- De-
!, wig and cue, lace cuffs, coat-pocket-
= like acellar door, long waistcoat, knee ~,
eches, stockings, low quarter shoes with ms
kles on them like window-Sash-- man Gel
yely culling news" from Boston three b. F.,
ks old; and per latest advices pa
ut Col. Bouquets forces having crossed tal
river at Pittsburg fully 30 days gone -, -
and thrilling rumors of war from en-
drid, London, Versailles, Stockholm, Te
the Hague, with the mildews of four III,
,ul months on them; and venerable on
ards, a hundred days out from Ma
5, telling how " between three and no
r hundred thousand citizens had OBJ,
ly died OF plague III that little king cas-
IA man exulting over his little old d 5h.
sation dispatches and latest dates, and '''
er, strangely enough nerer having a
on of 1868 flash through his compla-
t brain with its revelations of tele- -
phs and locomotives-1 say, can't you
cy this old muff sitting at his desk and
ting off this bit of sarcasm. and hold
1t up and cooking his eye at it, and =,
ding 1t over, and chuckling to him -,
, and reading it again, and calling in %