davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

A PRACTICAL zApPLIcAr1oN.-
Nicholas Vain, though a regular
Quaker preacher, was great wag
and many are the good things
said by him which are still cur
rent in certain Philadelphia cir
cles. He was once travelling on
horseback in the interiorsof Penn
sylvania i'll company with. two
Methodist preachers. They dis
cussed the points of difference in
their respective sects, until they
arrived at the inn where they put
up for the night. At supper ain
was seated between the two Meth
'odist's, and before them was plac-
ed plate containing two trout.
Each of the circuit riders placed
his fork i'll q fish and transferred
it to his plate after which each
shnt his eyes and said an. audible
grace before meat. The Quaker
availed himself of the opportuni-
ty to transfer both of the trouts
to his own plate, merely remark
ing, when the Others opened their
eyes, Your religion teaches YOU
to pray, but mine teaches me both
to watch and pray" s~$af
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
WHAT Constitutes AN Eprron.

WHAT Constitutes AN EDrroR.
qualities Of successful
editor, however, are of a. much
higher kind than, Carlyle defines
them to be. It is not nero thrash
ing straw without wheat that is
required of him. He must have
ability. energy and tact. His il
lustrations and arguments must
always be within call. The best
newspaper writing is only brilliant
talking; but what a rare Gift il
that7 Let any person who thinks
it easy to write a newspaper ar
ticle try it. But one article will
be no test of success. An editor
must be able, like the celebrated
French cook of the play, to pre-
pare twelve courses Of fish, flesh
and fowl from one square lump
of veal. He must be ever spark
ling and fresh, never tagging or
dull for moment He must
mingle the grave with sthesga i,
the lively with the severe, fact
with comment, speculation with
He must have a ver-
satile taste, a weEl-stored memory
a light and playful imagination,
a logical mind, an unswerving
Judgment. If any thinks it is an
easy task to edit q newspaper, day
after day, let him try it.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
Choice Extracts.

AvARICE.-One thing alarms
me-the eager pursuit. Of gaiu
which over-spreads the land, and
which absorbs every faculty of
the mind and every feeling of
the heart. OF all passions avarice
is the most blind and compromis-
ing-the last to see and the first
to yield to danger.-Calhoun.
LIBERALI1Y.-The noeral man
will not give to improper persons,
nor it improper times, and SO forth
for If he did, he would cease to
act with iberality and if he, were
to spend money upon these things,
he would have none I'd, spend upon
proper objects; for the man who
spends according tohis means aud
upon proper objects, is liberal. but
he who is in the excess is prodi-
gal.-Aristotle.
TALKING AND Dome. Our
schools go all upon the rOcnl hith-
erto; no clear aim in them but to
teach the young creature how he
is to speak, to utter himself by
tongue and pen; which, suppos-
ing him even to have something
to utter, as he so very rarely has,
is by no means the thing he spe-
cially wants in these times. How
is he to work-how is he to be-
have. and to do? That is the
question for him. which hesseeks
to answer if in schools.--Carlyle.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

CHEERFULNEss.-Try for sim
gle day, 1 beseech you, to pre-
serve yourself in all easy, and
cheerful frame Of mind. Be but
Tor one day, instead of a fire wor-
shipper OF passion, the sun wor-
shipper of clear self possession,
and compare the day in which
YOU have rooted out the weed of
dissatisfaction with that ON which
you have allowed it to grow. up:
and you will find your heart o,,e,,
to every good motive, your life
strengthened and your breast
armed with a panoply against
every trick OF fate; truly You will
wonder ut yourown Improvement.
-JcuN Paul Richter.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

A DARING DEED.-One Of the
boldest exploits Of it's kind that
has recently been chronicled, saws
the New York Times of Wednes-
day, was accomplished by an un-
known thief at the Bank of Com
merce, corner Nassau and Cedar
streets, Tuesday, at 1 o'clock p. NJ.
a London merchant, sojourning
for a brief period in this CITY, pre-
sented himself at the desk of the
paying teller of the bank, with a
draft for $500. The money was
only paid to him, and he stepped
to a desk not far from the door,
and began to count it. Each bank
note, as he examined it, he laid
on the desk a little to the left of
the place where he was standing.
He had thus disposed Of $4,000,
when some one tapped him on
the right shoulder. He turned,
and beheld. a well-dressed and
gentlemanly-looking parsonage,
who politely informed him that
he had dropped a bank note,
pointing to the something on the
floor, and then passed on. The
merchant stopped and picked up
what he found to be a fifty-cent
stamp. He was about to proceed
in counting his money, when he
was struck aghast at the discove-
ry that the bills he had laid at
the left-hand side had disappear
ed. In q moment the truth burst
upon him. He turned, but the
stranger had disappeared. He
went to the door, but it was too
late to catch the culprit. Nothing
remained for him but to report
the case to the police, which he
proceeded to do. Detectives have
had the case in hand, but there is
little hope that the daring and
adroit robber will be caught.
, -Four of the bank notes stolen
were of the denomination of 500
each. The $1,000 bills were num-
bered A, 32,6O5; b, 3's 2S2; b, 49,
SG4; G, 2239. The 500 bills were
thus numbered: 9, 9Sl, ,6S6. A re-
ward Of $1,000 is offered for the
arrest of the theft.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
HENRY GEHBAUER,
Merchant Tailor,
"lONROE, La.

INFORMS The public that he has opened
l. an establishment at the old Hemkcr stand
on Grand street nearly opposite the Courthouse
Clothing made to order on short notice. and
in the latest style. good fit guaranteed
Particular attention paid to wedding suits
Cutting. cleaning and repairing at reasonable
prices. Give me trial.
n26:9m
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

The world looks with cold res
pect upon an act of justice, but
throws up it's hat at display of
mercy. Yet the one is the strength
Of virtue, while the other is most
often it's greatest weakness.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

An eccentric candidate for. the
Indiana Legislature, during his
canvass, said, in a public speech:
"My fellow-citizens, to secure
your votes, I will kiss your big
toes, and after / have got your
votes, you may kiss mine." A
Roman Emperor, according to
President Harrison, expressed the
same idea in more classic lam
guage, when he said that there is
Il great difference between'promis-
es before and performance Of them
after an election. The Radicals
of Boston are illustrating the
truth of the remark of that expe-
rienced Emperor in the treatment
they are meeting out to the VEN
doris of lager beer. Before the
the election of two weeks ago, an
exception was made by the State
Constable in his enforcement. of
the probibitory law of lager beer
saloons; and it was given out that
cider and beer were exceptions to
this general prohibition. Now
the State Constable has inaUgu-
rated a raid upon the lager beer
saloons Of Boston, seizing all the
lager he can nose out, and hav-
ing the proprietors fined. The
man who carries the brains of the
Republican party, and pioneers its
great movements, prOnounces the
selling and use Of Intoxicating
drinks the great sin Of the age,
now that slavery is abolished,
and that prohibition is the only
true way to get rid Of it-prohibit
both the making and vending.
Sumptuary laws spring, naturally
from New England soil, and are
an outgrowth of the disposition
that is never so contented as
when it can regulate other peo-
pies affairs, and dictate what they
shall eat, drink and wear.-Er-
change.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
Slim Prospects for Sherman.

The New York Sun imagines
that the nomination of Gen. Sher-
man at Louisville will not be
adopted by either of the great
parties, but that it will remain
without any substantial conse-
4uences. When he came to
Washington last spring he was
prevailed upon to accept a pres
ent of q hundred and two thou
sand dollars, raised at General
Grants special request, from va
rious citizens of New York and
New England. His obligations
toward Gen. Grant will keep him
in the background for some time
to come. Gen. Grant is UNDER
stood by those who are in the way
OF seeing him intimately to cher
ish deep desire for reelection.
This feeling will naturally grow
stronger as the decisive year
of 1872 approaches; and the in
huences which the President can
always bring to bear will doubt
less be exerted to secure for. him
the nomination Of the Republican
National Convention. As long
as Gen. Grant is candidate, Gen.
Sherman cannot and will not en-
ter the field; and when it is de-
termined that, the Republicans
will not have Grant, it will be too
late for Sherman to. fish for their
nomination; indeed, his relation
to Grant would make it difficult
for him to accept a nomination
which Grant had failed to secure.
though it should be unanimously
rendered to him.
Beside, it is now probable that
IN 1872 either party adopt a mill
tary candidate. The experience
of the Republicans with Grant
has been such as to give them a
distrust of shoulder-straps in. civil
office; and even if he should now
forsake his fo1lies and make a
sensible and successful admins
tration, he eau hardly cover, eth
er for himself or for other states
men of military education, the
confidence he has forfeited. And
as for the Democrats, while there
is nothing in General Sherman's
antecedents, Or in his political
convictions, to forbid their taking
him up, it is almost certain that
they will be less inclined to run
a military candidate in 1872 than
they have ever been before.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

Mrs. Henshaw, a niece of ex-
President Pierce. and resident
of independence, Iowa, is one of
his legatees.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

Lord Derby never for moment
disguised his strong sympathy
for the Southern cause.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
DENTAL NOTICE.

TTAvING determined to settle permanently
III in Monroe for the purpose OF pract'clng
my pro tession, can be fond at my othce ,1':
opposit:e the southeast corner OF the pubic
square, in the house lately occupied by the
Land Office, at all hours. Ny family will 1--we
In the same building. Having had very
large experience in all the different branches
Of nv profes sion, the treating of children 8
teeth and all the d seases of the teeth Of adults
and and the extracting Of teeth and arranging ar
tificial teeth; feel justified in saying that
ana prepared to do anything in any department
Of uy profession as well as can be done any
where, and at reasonable prices.
N. F. McCRAW.
Jan. 6, 1869. nl5:t
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11
The XVIII Amendment.

The Bridgeport (Ct.) Farmer
marshals the votes of the States
given, and to be given, in the
notifications of this Amendment,
and comes to the conclusion that
the probabilities are in favor of
it's defeat. The same journal
very clearly shows the incompat-
ibility of this Amendment with
the XIVth: =
But suppose the Amendment is
adopted, will it have any binding
force to prevent the exclusion of
negroes from the ballot box7 The
XIVth Amendment says that any
State a,say exclude negroes from
voting, but provides that they
are not to be counted in Congress
sional representation. In the
XVIII Amendment there is no
clause repeating the X1Vth, yet
it provides that no State shall he
allowed, under any condition, to
prohibit negro suffrage. -.
Now, the question is, if the
Ay LII AmcHulucuO SudA1 U0 uc-
clared carried, which is to gov
ern? The two Amendments are
in direct conflict with each other.
and yet. they form a part of the
same Constitution. Is not the
XIVth Amendment just as bind
ing as the XVIII will be, ifratified7 2
Nothing shows the shameless in
consistency of the Radical party
more than the fact that, in less
than year from the time it put
the XIVlh Amendment on the
statute. book, it endeavors to re-
peal it by the XVIII But, as
they allow both to stand;will they
not mutually defeat one another7
Perhaps some Of our Radical CO.
temporariee will answer these
questions.
OF the conflict between the two
there is no question, and as little
that the two cannot stand without
destroying each other. But Rad
icalism is equal to solving worse
riddles than this. 1t will so mall-
age as to exclude the negro votes
in the North, and make them val
id at the South.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

Two tons of honey were recently
shipped from Tahiti to San Fran
cisco.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

The best sca-weed-A cigar ON
the beach.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1869-12-11

one s4nase. eight Hnss lees, <thts siss
typs> nfss insertion. on...-.........-.--.....9 9l.5e
special oo.tracts made for advertising by the yeas
Cards Of psrsonsl shsvasser-wheA aanisstble-
~ % charged double onr Fegular SlvsEtfsinG rstea
eA1y0ed aeeovdingty.
No hastieua Of sqnares counted, - s&eA. but they
VIII nc charged a. whole squares In every instance
nen displayed. all lladvertisementsw viii charged
oy measurement, and not by the Eun1her q Npss
advortiseinentS - -,vsrs s -
AZ Professional cards 80 per .nnun; ,no.ths
= . fs+s1-sfss
AGENT.
. ancs MclErIxE. Esq. e the 'dnIy tauthorsziA
agent TOT the Iele9yGpk in New OrleauS
PAgents wanted throuRhout the St.&e tn ~-hon,
liberal per cent. will be paid ont Of al moneys re-.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05
Washington and His Mother.

Immediately after Che organization OF our
Government, Gen. Washington repaired to
Fredericksburg to pay his respects to his
mother, preparatory to his departure from
New York. An elccting scene ensurd -
The son Feelngly observed the ravdgrs which
disease had made upon the frame Of his aged
parent, and thus addressed her:
"'The people. mother, have been pleased,
with the most f1attering unanmfy, to elect
me the Chief Magstracy Of the United
States; but before [ assume the functions
Of that oillcH, | have come to bid you an
af.ctionate farewell. SO soon as the public
business, which must necessarily be encOun-
tered in arranging new Government, eau
be disposed Of | shall hasten to Virginia,
and"
Here the mother interrupted him. "My
son, you shall see me 10 more. My great
age, and the disease that is fast approaching
my vitals warn me thai shall not be long
in this world. | trust am somewhat pre-
pared for better. But 20, George, fulfil
the high destnies which Heaven appears TO
assign you-and may that Heavens aud your
mothers blessing be with yon always
The PRESIDENT was deeply affected. Ills
head rested upon the shoulder Of his parent,
whose aged arm feebly, yet fondly encircled
his neck. The great man w@pt y thousand
rccoliections crowded upon his mind aud
memory. retracing scenes long past carried
him back to bis patcrnal mansion, and the
days OF his youth-and there the centre Of
attraction was his mother, whose care, in
struction, and dsipIiDe, had prepared him
to reach the topmost height of laudable
ambition Yet how were his laurcis and
glories Forgotten. while he gazed on the
wasted flrm of his venerable Dlrunt. from
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05
The Liquor Dealer.

We care not for his file apparel, his costly
furniture and his princrly dwelling, They
are stained all over with the blood Of victims
of his uaholy calling 1t criusons the rich
mAutlrS IN which his wife aud daughters
hlunt by the wrptciiai aud thnly clad child
ren of want and destitulion, made such hy
his trade Every stone in his grand house
hss dragged some soul down to The drunkards :
heli.upOn earth. Every strlIg in his piano
has been torn from some painting bosom. -
All the gorgeous dyes in his soft carpets
have been cunningly extracted from the
bodies of his victims. There is the bright
ycimilion drawn from the throbbIng arteries
Of weak woman, the u,tramarine OF children :
blue eyes, and the lake white ground, from
young ni'n's honos wrought iuro beautiful
devices and brightly coored flowers, which
he treads proudly under his feet Yes, If
be had conscience, he mi9ht fear TO tread
that Grim m>on carpet lest his feet should sip
in the gore. or bones crlckie them, or the
starry iDwerS look up in the fearful, human
eyes, repr0ach;uiy upon him from its deli
rate woUi. lie might start up shpd,lerinr
from the spring seat Of his luxurious sofa,
as if he felt human muscles contracting Gn.
der him lie would 4: from tie >ounl Of
his rosewood piano, ~ though every touch
sent forth II wall of human agony lie would
shut his Gildea mirror as though Il ghost
lurked behind, ready. TO Start up in
his face and rrproach him with murder -
The hot dran.bt is potent with the essence
of pELIRluM TT MEMS, SO that the brain Of
him who drinks it shall teem with phantom
snakes and das.ers. Surely when men ,ha!l
come 20 rcalIzr tne true nature of this hur-
riblc curse which over>lIudows the whole
land, they will assign to every one engaged
in it his proper place ~ the scale of morality.
The rumSeier will then Income isolated ir ~
the respect of all good men N every comnu
nity Il EXchancn.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

Horace GREELEY makes this frankly blunt
Grafton to beggars OF all degrees: Country
friends, and especially young men, give you
facts as | have long observed and studied
them. | tell you frankly that my interest in
your action thereon is partially selfish; FOR
my soul is wcary Of these incessant uppeaIs
for something to do or, that failing, fox
aims There mnst, there twill he begcars;
hut need you be bcggars? Even il you must,
| wish il were in your hearts to stay whrre
hcg-ars aro not so enormously sUprrahundant
rs here. | often respond ru.iely, harshly, to
their solicitations, because | can not help il.
Worn out hy appeals, to which / am utterly
unable to respond, denied the opportunity to
earn my own bread by this endless procession
Of bcggars-I often speak more roughly than
should because my patience is utterly ex-
hausted. am not as poor as Lazarus, still
less am | as rich rs Dives; but | fully SYM
pathize with the latter in so far as he is rep
resented as wishing in llades to send a mes
senger to his brethren still on earth to en;reat
them not to come into this torment"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

TIE HIsroRY OF PENNSYLVANIA NoLuN-
rEFRs.-lt is proposed o furnish every
School District in the Commonwealth with
copy OF the State History OF the Prnna.
Volunteers. This great work oneht to he
accessible to all. Every person who, is So
licited to employ Il soidIer-every citizen
who is asked TO vote for OUe should
be enabled to consult it and ascertain for
himself the individuals record IN the army.
We are pleased to observe that the injustice
done TO one of the best and bravest soldiers
of NJ kenn--a well known member of tEc old
Bucktails now residing in an adjoining
township, is corrected in the first volume
model by the way. as far as we have ey.
amincd it, ofpainstaSing accuracy. NJ kean
Miner.
The readers Of the Press will heartily en-
dorse the suggestion Of our neighhor's arti-
Gle Mr.. Bates, instead of indulging in
cIap-traps or counting popularity, has given
his book the character the Legislature in
tended for it of Il faithful public record. For
the honor of Pcnnsy ylvnha it should have
wide circulation given it.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

LATEST \ TEr A long time ago, corn be-
ing very scarce in the upper part of the
country, and one OF the citizens being hard
pressed for bread, having worn threadbare
the hospitality of his generous ueighbors by
his extreme laz!n"Ss, they thought it an act
of charity to bury him. Accordingly he was
carried towards the p ace of interemeht, aud
being met by one of the citizens, the follow
ing conversation took place:
"ilallo! what have you there?'
Poor old Mr. S."
"What are you going to do with him?'
Bury him"
"What, is he dead? had not heard of
his DEATH
mo, he is not dead. hut he might as well
he, for he has no corn, and is to lazy to work
for any"
That is too cruel for civilized people =
I'll give him five bushels OF corn myself
rather than see him buried alive"
Dir. $ raised the cover aud asked in
his usual dragging tone:
"I-s it s-h.e.l-le-d?"
mo, but yau can soon she'll it,
"D-r-i-y o n b-O-y-s."
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

No SECRET. II notice said Franklin,
"a mechanic among IA number Of Others, at
work on house erecting bat little way from
NY Office, who always appeared to be in IL
merry humor; who had kind ana checrfal
smile FOR every one he met. Let the day he
ever So cold, gloomy or sun!Pss, "A happy
smile danced like sunbeam in his cheerful
countenancr. Netting him one morning
asked him to tell me the secret of his CON
stant happy flow of spirits.
NO srcret, Doctor, he replied, Il have
got one of the best wives, and when . go to
work she has kind word of encouragement;
and when go home she meets me with a
smile aud kiss; and then tea is sure to be
ready, aud she has doue so many little things
to please me that cannot find IT in my heart
TO speak an unkind word to anybody
What influence has 4 woman over the heart
of man to soften aud make it the foundation
of good aud pure emotions! Speak gently,
then; a kind greeting after the tolls Of the
day are over, costs nothing and goes far to-
wards making home happy aud peaceful -
Young wives, and girls, candidates for wives,
should keep ths in mind; 10 old wives, eX-
perience may have already taught them this
important lesson. aud what we say TO
wives, we say also to husbands. A loving
word and kiss go very far with a woman.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05
Impartial GuHrage.

We call the attention of our roadcrs TO
rGAL SUFFRAGE. The article is from the pen
of lifelong democrat, and speaks the SEN
timcnts of thousands in that organization
who are disgustel with the anti-progressivc
spirit of that antquated party, aud who will
speedily leave it, unless it adopts pro-
gressive policy. We trust our readers will
give it careful perusal.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

The Rev. Charles Brooks, father of the
state normal schools in America, was asked
by II teacher this question: "What shall
teach my pupils?' lie answered: Teach
them very thoroughly these five things;
Il. TO live relgiously.
~. To think cOmprehensively.
80. TO reckon mathematcaly.
~ To converse fl fently; and
'5. To write dramatically.
'If you successfully teach them these five
things you Will have noby done your duty to
your pupils, to their parents, to your coun-
try and 10 yourss1"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1869-03-05

A WELL. SPENT LIFE.-Ah' how sweet it
is when manhuod's summer day is merging
into the glorious evening Of old age, to look
from the shallow Of the dark valley, which
will soon be dispersed hy the sun Of morning
in a glorious world, and contemplate spent
life where no Intentional mis-slep can Ice re-
called and where we can remember 10 time
when we have stood between the sun and
those we love! Then will the rough and un-
even places in oar pathway look less uniuvit-
ing in the twilight of life, aud the bright,
sunny spots will sparkle as so many diamonds
in the crown awaiting us. Happy, Indeed.
are those whose intercourse with the wOild
mas not changed the course of their holier
feelings, or broken those musical chords OF
the heart, whose vibrations are so melOdous
so tender, aud SO touching in the evening of
old age.