Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-09-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

FATAL FALL-An unhealthy autumn.
DEARER THAN LIFE-Fashionable fun
erals.
as. T.-1S6O.-X.," it is said, was suggested
first by an industrious effort to initiate
Treasurer Spinner's signature.
THE gas is reported to be so bad in Erie,
Pa, that the boy who puts it out has to
take a lantern to find the posts.
JEHIAL SLAB says that perambulating
squirtgun constantly charged with tobacco
juice is, next to barn-yard, the nastiest
thing he knows of.
1T is said that dog, taken in its infancy
and held three-quarters of an hour under
water, will never be troubled with hydro
phobia
A TIPsY Irishman, as funeral procession
was passing by, was asked who was dead.
~ can't exactly say, sir" said he, "but [
presume it's the jintleman in the coffin"
A COUPLE of fellows who were pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whisky got
into the gutter. After floundering about
for few minutes, one of them said Jim,
let's 60 to another house--this hotel leaks"
UPON the shutter of little shop in
Philadelphia isa placard reading thus :
"Gootweel and fgstyers fur SAIL" The
premises have just been vacated by Ger
man cordwainer, who desires to dispose of
his "good will and fixtures.
To BE woman of fashion is one of the
easiest things in the world A late writer
thus describes it.: "Buy everything you
don't want, and pay for nothing you get !;
smile on all mankind but your husband !;
be happy everywhere but at home"
Two PHYSICIANS at the bedside of pa
tient disputed as to the nature of the dis
ease. At last one of them ended the dis
cussion by saying every well, have it
your own way now, but the post norton
will show that I am right" The patient
was not much encouraged.
"Have you seen B. lately9" inquired a
gentleman of a medical friend. "What |!
don't you known" was the reply. "We
were dining together few days ago; the
next day he fell ill; I attended him he
died in the evening. Poor fellow dis
sected him this morning"
GARNIER-PA PAGES the elder was once ap-
preached by familiar of Louis Philippe
with an offer of a portfolio. "Were the
King" said the diplomatic go-between,
to send for you to form Cabinet, what
would you do? "Have you been official
ly desired to find out ?" said the politician
Well, perhaps So" replied the diplomat
swell, then, would say Your Majesty,
by all means, provided that you, sire,
would accept foreign mission"
REMEMBERED
Have you forgotten it? / never cani
One blessed night in June,
How bright the sky, how pale your face,
In the wan light of the moon.
Doyou remember it? for, oh, dol
The scent of flowers there;
| Was it the buds upon the trees,
Or the great rose in your hair?
Have you forgotten it? never can!
Something risked that night;
Something scarcely dared to speak
Though my heart said was right
Do you remember it? for oh, do!
The first, the sweetest kiss
Lift up your face, look in my eyes,
1t was such as this-and this
A GOOD story is related of child adj
mitted to the private study of the present
Pope. In preparation for the Ecumeni-
cal Council, his holiness ordered from his
architect certain embellishments, the plan
of which was brought for his inspection by
that gentleman's little boy. Charmed by
the plan, his holiness opened drawer full
of gold, and said to the child, "Take
handful of coin as reward for the beauty
of your fathers work" "Holy father"
replied the child, "take it out for ma, your
hand ia bigger than mine" a@