The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-08-06

bly, failed because she did not learn to captivate
the American stomach. She VOWS that she has
spread before her American guests the finest
Westphala hams which have been sneered at;
that che has eudeavored to beguile them with
maccaroni cheese, which has been quietly
ignored that she has lured them
with the yellowest of Yorkshire puddings and
the beefest o. roast beet, and that these have
been once tasted and then left to grow cold; that
she helped them to salmon, and that they have
helped themselves to boiled onions, and eaten
them with it before her very eyes; and, after
outraging her own feelings by being daily wit
ness to these solecisms. she can endure it no
longer and has come TO the conclusion, while
she remains in New York at least to allow her
American boarders to 90 to the Devil (culinarily
speaking) their own way. She is especially
severe upon those muscular Christians, those
thick-thewed Chester6elds, who, under the dis
guse of porters and expressmen move trunks
and furniture, and fling down with carelessness
the side that is labelled This side up with care;'
and she has no expression too strong for the
Fenian females who advertise in the sun, and
put her through perpleXing catechism when
ever she inquiries after their character.
Commissioner Shields,
of the United States Commissioners Office has
just had up before him q party charged with
imposing upon the public a large quantity of
spurious champagne. The names OF the party
are James Eberle and William Doughortv. and
they are accused in the first place of selling spu-
riOus champagne without a license, and in the
second place of making no returns to the asses
sor of their district. The testimony proved that
in their store were found numerous dies and
labels in imitation of those used in the manu-
facture of the genuine Heidsieck. 1t is interest
tl,s
exactly like the pure Perhaps this will be
none the more difficult to understand when it is
added that the spurious article is manufactured
from cider and magnesia, with a little vitrol
thrown in to give ii tone! Well, if people will
drink, they must expect to swallow not only
their peck of dirt, but their gallon of poison,
long before the expiration OF the lapse of time
appointed in the course of nature to that act of
deglutition. Exposure does no permanent good.
The sense of risk it creates only acts as an APP
petzer.
They say, don't ask me who that
Mr.. Fisk is Going 80 Make Money Ont Of the
Eclipse
He has made money out of everything on
earth, so why, seeing that money is his god
shouldn't he make stamps out of something in
the heavens: In brief a great quantity of anna
teur astronomers want to witness the eclipse
from the Jersey shore, and in order to oblige the
public, Mr.. Fisk Git is rad) intends tomorrow
afternoon running line of stages to the Erie
depot. where smoked glass will be furnished
gratis to all buying excursion tickets. In re-
turn for this, the Afrit of the Erie Road pro-
misses that the celestial performances shall be
upon a scale never before witnessed in this
country" and refers. as a guarantee, to the past
season at the opera house and the Fifth avenue.
MIR. Jenersen's Season ut Booths
has commenced magniGcently. People crowd
the lobbies after the rising of the curtain,
and do not think that that played-out fraud
the "oldest inhabitant" ever saw anything in the
way of acting or public appreciation more thor
oughly thrilling. ALI BABA.