davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1869-04-30

TERRIBLE RETRIBUTIoN.-The wheels of
time, in their revolving seldom fail to dis.
tribute Justice and punishment where it is
deserved, and there are few instances on rec'
ord of speedier punishment or more terrible
retrbution than in the case of those who
were the main instruments in getting poor
Mary Surratt hanged. Upon the testimony
of four of the vilest scoundrels. Baker,
Montgomery, Clever and Conover, she was
convicted. Now, mark the terrible disposi-
ton Just God has made of the murderers
Baker, not long since, died miserable
death Montgomery is now in prison for en-
bezzlement; Clever has been convicted tor
an infamous outrage, and ConOver would
have been deservedly serving out aterm 10
the peDitentiary had not johnson pardoned
him. Preston King who prevented Miss
Anna Surratt from seeing the President in
her mothers behalf, committed suicide by
drowning in the North river, while Lane,
who supported King in his conduct towards
Ms. Surratt, shot himself 10 St. Louis.
There remain yet Stanton, Bingham and
Holt, who stand. like the murderous COW.
ards they are, trembling iu fear of the terri.
bic reckoning day.
, 1869-04-30

A SCHooLMAsTER TRIES HIS HAND AT
REPORTING 1t being necessary for US to
be out of town for day, about a week
since, we employed as SUBJ during our
absence, a young man who has long been en-
gagged as a teacher of grammar in various
schools in California. Grammar has always
been his strong suit, as Mark Twain would
say, and although be displayed his peculiar
ity in a number of items, he did not come
out startliugly strong 10 more than half a
dozen. Among number laid over by the
foreman, as being to him rather out of the
usual line, we find the following report of a
divorce suit, which be prepared for the pa
per. II reads: Judge R, yesterday,
ordered disjuDclive decree to be issued, 10
the case of Mary Smith VS.. John Smith,
severIng the copulative cOnjunciio6, hereto
fore existing between the parties. The FREE
quent imperative moods and violent inter-
jections Of the masculine gender had ren>
dered it impossible for the feminine to agree
with him in the plural number. The hus-
band was much affected during the parsing
of the sentence by the Judge'- Wrginia
Enterprise.
, 1869-04-30
WHO WILL CARE.

Who will care?
Wh.a sc lie beneath the daisies,
Underneath the churchynrd mold,
And the long grass 0 er our faces
l.tys its iasers damp aud cold
When we eep from care and sorrow,
Aud the Ills of eartly life
Sleep to know no sad 70 morrow,
With its bitterness Of strife
Who will care?
Who will care?
Who will come 10 weep above u5,
Lying, Oh 50 white and still,
Unirrneath the skies of summer,
When all natures pulses thrill,
To IL new life, glad and tender,
Full of beauty rich and sweet
And the world is clad ia speudor
That the years shall e'er repeat
Who will care?
Who will care?
When Queen Autumn's flowers blossom,
Aud she stoops in pity, down
With white flower for our bosom,
Taken from her royal crown?
Who will come to kueel in pity
BY our long and narrow bed,
When the wild winds sing their ditty
Ia the grasses o'er our head
Who will care
Who will care?
When the springtime's glad smile fingers
On the meadows, fair and wide,
And she drops, from rosy fingers,
Bloom and leaf on every side
Who will come, with tender yearniug,
To the graves of those they miss
Who will sigh for our returning
To their presence and their kiss
Who will care?
Who will care
Who will think of white hands lying
On a still and silent breast,
Nevermore to know of signing,
Evermore to know of rest?
Who will care? No one can tell usi
But if rest and peace befall,
Will it matter if they miss us2
Or they miss US not at all
Not at all
, 1869-04-30

LAPLAND has but one art, one object Of
art-the cradle 1T is a charming object,
says ludy who has visited those regions I;
elegant and graceful, like pretty shoe lined
with the soft fur of the white hare, more
delicate than the feathers of the swan.
Around the hood. where the infants head is
completely protected, warmly and softly shel
tered, are hung festoons of colored pearls,
and tiny chains of copper or silver which
cluk incessantly, and whose jingling makes
the young Lapander laugh o wonder of
maternity Through its Influence the rndest
woman becomes artistic, tenderly\ heedful.
But the female is always heroic. 1t is one
the most affecting spectacles to see the bird
of the eider-the elder duck-plucking the
down from its breast for a couch and cover
ing for its young. And if man steals the
nest, the mother still continues upon herself
the cruel operation. When she has stripped
off every feather, when there is nothing more
to despoil but the flesh and blood, the father
takes his turn so that the little one is cloth
ed of themselves and their substances, by
their devotion and their suffering. Mon.
taigne, speaking of cloak which had served
his father, and which he loves to wear in
remembrance OF him, makes use of tender
phrase, which this poor nest recalls to my
mind-I wrapped myself up in my father
, 1869-04-30

SAY, FELLERs, LEzHAvE PEAcE."-
Mack, writing from Washington, under
date OF Feb II, says: see by The tele>
graph that they have found a new word to
express that mental and physical condition
IN which latter day greatness is wont to in
dulge now and then. They call it fatigue, :"
In dispatch from Philadelphia, announcing
that the new President had arrived in that
city, but was too much fatigued to attend a
party to which he had been invited. Fa>
tIgued is good-much better than " indispo.
sed, which is the time honored euphemism
Tor the same purpose, aud has grown so COM
mon that it may be set down with the
" beautiful Ophelia," as an "ill phrase-s
vile phrase" IDdisposcd shoots too wide of
the mark, and expresses SO much that it
expresses nothing. Besides, for a military
man, fatigue" is especially good, though
there are few soldiers who take as kindly to
fatigue duty" as Grant seems to- When
read the Philadel phia dispatch alluded to, I
had same doubts whether it admitted of the
construction have put upon it but have
since taken some trouble to inquire, and 1
hnd was not mistaken 1t seems a little
strange that journey of three hours, from
New York to Philadelphia, should fatigue a
hearty campaigner like Grant, and unfit him
for dress parade, after twelve hours of inter.
Venlng rest. Yet, as friend who saw him
at the Continental says, abe was so id
tired he could scarcely hold his head up."
Say, fellers, lezhavepeace"
, 1869-04-30

THE following are some of the character
istics Of leading cities: London possesses
relatively to the other capitals-the greatest
number of engineers, letters of carriages on
hire, printers, booksellers, and cooks. Usu|
rers, collectors of curiosities, and amateurs
of paintings abound most at Amsterdam
St. Petersburg takes precedence for coach
men at Brussels are to be found the most
boys who smoke; at Naples the most por.
ters and guides at Madrid the most idlers
at Berlin the most beer drinkers; at Flor
euce the most flower girls; at Dublin the
most thieves at Geneva the most watchms-
kers at Lisbon the most baliffs; and al
New York the most cngine-men. Paris
takes lead in the number of hairdressers
men of letters, tsilors, milliners, photograph
ers, pastry cooks and advocates. A calcu'
lation has also been made that at London il
consumed the most meat and beer; ai
Stockholm the most water 1t Smyrna, the
most coffee at Madrid, the most cigarettes
and at Paris the most absynthe.
, 1869-04-30

ALL KINDS OF CoRN.-Corns are of two
kinds, vegetable and animal Vegetable
corns grow in rows, and animal corns on the
toes. There are several kinds of corn there
is unicorn, capricorn coru'dodgers 6eld-corn,
aud toe, corn, which is the corn that you
feel the most. 1t is said, believe, that
gophers like corn, but person who has
corns does not like to 60 fur if he can help
it. Corns have kernels, and many colonies
have corns. Vegetable corn grows on the
ear, but animal corns grow on the feet, at
the other end of the body. Another kind
of corn is acorn these grow on oaks, but
there IS no hoax about the corn. The acorn
is corn with an indefinite article; but the
toe-corn is a very definite article, indeed
Doctors say that corns are produced by tight
boots or shoes, which is probably the reason
why, when man is tight, they say be is
corned If a farmer manages we'll he can
get good deal of corn on an acre, but we
know farmer who has one corn that makes
the biggest acher on his farm. The bigger
the crop of vegetable corn a man raises the
better he likes it; but the bigger the crop
Of animal corn he raises the better be don't
like it.
, 1869-04-30

Don PIATT illustrates the absurdity of
the idea of the prOtectionists by this hit at
Greeley, in his Washington letter to the
Cincinnati Commercial: Had Horace
Greeley been Noah. he would have insisted
on Shem, Ham and Japhet raising, on the
deck of the ark, all that the family of men
and beasts on board we're to eat, so as to be
independent of foreign markets, and self
sustaining.
, 1869-04-30
RADICAL PLArRoRM.

The following is the radical platform,
adopted at their convention, held at Vans
couver, on the 2lst inst:
|. Resotced, That the principles of the
Republican party as declared by the last
National Republican Convention at Chicago,
meet with our hearty approval, and, an ad>
herence thereto by the National, State and
Territorial Legislatures will secure the peace
and prosperity Of our country.
q That we recognize the great princi-
pies laid down 10 the immortal Declaration
OF Independence as the true foundation of
Democratic Government; and we hail with
gladness every effort toward making these
principles living reality on every inch Of
American SOIL
3. That we regard with great pride and
satisfaction the accession of the wise, eff
cient, patriotic and victorious leader Of the
American Army, General Grant, 10 the high
and honorable position of President of the
United States, and confidently rely upon the
earnest CO operation of the different branch.
es OF the Government for the enactment of
such measures as shall secure the rights and
liberties of every American citizen upon
principles of justice aud equality, and that
respect for the laws by the people that will
insure the peace and progress Of the entire
country.
a, The interests of Washington Territory
can best be promoted by the election of an
able Republican representative of our peo,
pie as delegate to Congress, who will exert
himself to obtain the fostering care and ma
terlal aid of the general government for our
Territory and secure the just rights of each
and all OF our citizens, aud who, as opportu-
NIFTY offers, will make known to the people
OF the States by public addresses, the great
advantages and inducements our Territory
presents. to capital and population.
D. That system of internal improve
ments in our Territory should receive the
encouragement and support of the people
and general government, in order that our
important resources may be developed, and
the prosperity of the country promoted.
Among these internal improvements he con-
slruction of the Northern Pacific Columbia
river and Puget Sound, and Walla Walla
aud Columbia river railroads, are of great
and paramount importance, and their early
completion highly necessary for the interests
OF not only this Territory, but also those of
the entire country.
g. The nominee of this convention can,
and by the hearty and united efforts of the
Republican party will be triumphantly elec-
ted; aud to that end all personal preferences
aud prejudices should be waived for the gen.
eral good, and the present as well as the fu
ture success Of the republican parry and its
principles be thereby ctfectualy maintained.
The convention then proceeded to the
nomination of candidate for Delegate to
Congress, voting rivd roce.
B. F. Stone, Of Walla Walla, nomina>
ted Salucus Gar6elde. Upon call of the
counties, Mr.. GarGrlde received twenty nine
votes, Zone being blauk) whereupOn he was
declared unanimously nominated as the cam
didate Of the republican party for Delegate
to Congress.
, 1869-04-30
THR GLoRIous KEsr.

The following amusing burlesque Of the
style Of journalism prevalent in the far west
were copied recently into an English paper,
says the San Francisco Cal, with severe
comments upon the shocking condition Of
the American barbarian Of the Plains:
A little bit Of romance has transpired to
relieve the monotony of our metropolitan
life. Old Sam Ckoggins, whom the editor
Of this paper has so often publicly thrashed,
has returned from Mud Springs with a
young wife. He is said to be very fond OF
her, and the way he came to get her was
this Some time ago we courted her, but
finding she was on the make, threw her of.
after shooting her brother aud two cousins.
She vowed revenge, and promised to marry
any man who would horsewhip us. This
Sam agreed to undertake, and she married
him on that promise. We shall call on Sam
tomorrow with our new shotgun, and pre-
sent or congratulations in our usual FORM
Hdngto1n GiJ6et.
A stranger, wearing stoycpipe hat and
a boiled shirt, arrived in town yesterday,
and put up at the Nugget House. The
boys are having good time with that hat
this morning. The funeral will take place
at two o'clock. Dog Rancho is unhealthy
for swells Dag Rancho Weekly Hotcl.
A painful accident occurred in Frog Gulch
which has cast wet blanket Of gloom over
a hitherto joyous, whisky loving community.
Dave Sprigger, or, as he is familiarly called,
Murderer Dave, got drunk at his usual hour
yesterday, and as is his custom, took down
his gun and started after the fellow who
went home with his girl the night before.
He found him at breakfast with his wife and
thirteen children. After killing them he
started out to return, but being weary STUN
bled and broke his leg. DIR. Bill found him
in that condition, aud having no wagon at
hand to convey him to town, shot him TO put
him out of his misery Dave was dearly
loved by all who knew him and his loss was
democratic gain He never disagreed with
any but democrats, and would have materi-
ally reduced the vote of that party had be
not been SO untimely cut off.-SiskiyOu
Knock Dopn.
A child of Whisky Ben had an alteration
with the Methodist preacher over at Michi
gan Gully last Sunday, and ended the dis
cussion by caving in lis abolition head The
boy was presented with a new revolver by
the Cumberland Presbyterians.-Stars and
Stripes.
Four babies who had been put into the
cage at He'll Shaft, yesterday, while their
mothers played game of draw, climbed over
the side. We did learn who won the pot
Niger Hill Patriot.
There is person iu town who claims to
be the man who killed Sheriff White some
months ago. We consider him an impostor,
seeking admission into society above his lev>
Ell, and hope people will stop inviting him to
their houses.-FrOg Spring Herald
, 1869-04-30

A FARMER who had employed a green
Eweralder, ordered him to give the mule
some corn in the ear. On his coming in,
the farmer asked, Well, Pat, did you give
the mule the corn? To be sure did. And
how did you give it9 And shure as you
told me-in the ear. How much did you
did you giveH "Well, ye see, the craytber
wouldn't stand still, and kept switching his
ears about so l cOuldO't get but fist full in
both ears.
, 1869-04-30

QUADRILLE.-A sailor, ybie explaining
the third figure of quadrille to his mess
mate, thus described it You first heave
ahead, said he, and pass your adversary's
yardarm, regain your berth on the other tack
in the same ordep take your station with
your partner in lice, back and Gill;, and then
fall.on your keel, and bring up with your
partner; she then maueuvres ahead, of
alongside of you then make sail in cOmpa.
ny with her until nearly astern of the other
line, make q stern board, cast her of to
shift for herself, regain your place the best
way you can, and let 60 your anchor.
, 1869-04-30
NUMBER go.
WouLD LIKE 10 tlEAR soMx Mustc-

WOULD LIKE To HEAR SOME Music
About the best thing we have seen on the
modern style Of piano music we clip from an
exchange, as follows: An old farmer 70.
siding 10 one Of the rural fdistricts Of the
west, having occasion to transact business in
city about twenty miles distant, took With
him one Of his daughters as a companion
Tor the trip, and also to show her little Of
the world. Upon bis arrival 10 the city. NOT
hnding the lawyer of whom he was in quest.
at his otice, he went to bis residence a few
blocks distant. The lady of the house yery
Kindly offered 10 take charge Of and ,enter.
tain the daughter during the temporary ab-
sence OF the father with her husband. The
young ladys curiosity was thoroughly
aroused BY the tasteful and rich appoint,
ments Of the house, she having been sccus.
toned all her life to the plainest kind Of
household fxins." She went from one
article to another, expressing great pleas
ure IN viewing the elegance and beauty of
the furniture. Suddenly stopping, before
the pia:o, she exclaimed What's that
thingY A piano forte said the lady. What
do you do with it? play upon it. And
what's them things pointing to the key.
board; Those are the keys said the lady.
Keys what do you DO with themy They
are the keys of the instrument do you want
to hear me play? The girl noddedsher head
IN affirmation, and the lady sat down aud
executed very brilliant operatic piece.
When she had concluded, she wheeled
around on the music-stool, expecting to see
countenance radiant with admiration and
delight; Instead of which she met one that
betrayed only impatience and irritation.
What DO you think of that? she asked.
Think, blurted out the rustic damsel, al
think that you've been fooling with Them
Keys long enough. l wish that you'd hurry
and unlock the daggoned thing l want to
hear some music.
, 1869-04-30

Tom, why did you not marry Lucy? Oh,
she had a sort of hesitation 10 her speech,
and SO left her. A hesitation in her speech!
l never heard of thst before. Are you not
mistaken? !? No, not at all for when l asked
if she would have me, she hesitated to say
yes, snd-so l cut her for another girl.
, 1869-04-30

MORE CIvILIzED.-In my time, Miss,
said stern aunt, the men looked at the
women's faces instead of their ankles. Ah,
retorted the young lady, they felt their in.
fsriority then and wanted to look higher !!
But you see they are now more civilized tbsu
then and look at the understanding.
, 1869-04-30

'MA,' said fashionable girl, IF should
die and 60 to heaven, should I wear my
moire-antique dress!' No, my love, we can
scarcely suppose that we shall wear the at
tire Of this world in the next Then tell
me, ma, how the angels will know belong.
I'd 10 the best society
, 1869-04-30
TOB PRINTING ofevery description done
To City Subscribers.

On aud after this date. the STATESMAN will be
served to City subscribers at 50 cents month, pay
alle to the carrier Those who have paid in advance
will have heir papers continued until the time cx-
pTys.
, 1869-04-30

AT one Of Fanny Kemble's readings, the
daughter of q shOddy millionaire asked her
father who Shakespeare was. He replied
without besitation-ae was the man who
wrote the New Testament.
, 1869-04-30

A OIEcINNATI genius advertises for /
situation, saying that work is DO. 90 mucl
an object a good wsgss.'
, 1869-04-30

ESPECIALLY shun whisky, fast women
and the United States were the dying
words Of maa who vas banged in Canada
the other day.
, 1869-04-30

THERE is no country in the world says a
contemporary, where the people are so addictN
ed to the medicine eating propensity as the
United States. 1t has grown to be perfect
mania-a disease Of ITSELF The fact is,
Nature never designed the human body to
be'such receptacle of medicine. If men
would but study the laws Of nature, diet pro-
uerly instead Of excessively, be regular In
their habits, instead of regular in their doses,
use common sense and cold water freely, and
the doctor as little as possible, they would
live longer, suffer less, and pay little for the
privilege.
, 1869-04-30
A CITY ABOVE THE CLoUDs.-The V

A CITY ABOVE THE CLoUDS.-The Vir
ginia Enterprise says:
4" Mr.. Thomas Aleshorn, of this city, who
has just returned from trip to White Pine,
says that sometimes for whole week togeth-
er, Treasure City is wholly above tie clouds
and the top of Treasure Hill seems an Island
in mid ocean. The sun will be shining
brightly at Treasure City all day, while at
Hamilton not glimpse of the sun will be
seen, and the people will be shivering about
the town wrapped to their noses in their
overcoats. Teams leaving Treasure City at
such times seem, in going down the grade to
Hamilton, 10 suddenly plunge down and dis
appear 10 the waters of an immense lake
SO dense and evenly spread are the clouds.
and gloom yet occasionally the clouds rise
above Treasure City, aud the snow showers
down and the winds howl at terrific rate." "
, 1869-04-30

The hand that can make a pie is a con.
tinual feast to the husband that marries il.
, 1869-04-30

Alta meeting Of the Democratic Central Cons
mitIce. held at the Court House, on Thursday,
March II, the following proceedings were had ;
The number Of Delegates to each Convention was
fixed at 81, appor;ioned as follows:
: l. ~, lO
, 1869-04-30

THE COMING GIRL.-She will vote will
be cf some use in.the world, will cook her
own food, will earn her own living and will
not die an old maid The coming girl will
not wear the Grecian bend, dance the Ger.
man ignore all possibilities of knowing how
to work, will not endeavor to break the
hearts of unsopbistcsted young men, will
spell correctly, understand English before
she affects French, will preside with equal
grace at the piano or wash tub, will spin
more yarn for the house than for the street,
will not despise her plainly clad mother, her
poor relations, or the hand of an honest
worker; will wear bonnet; speak good,
plain English; will darn her own stockings;
will know how to make doughputs and light
bread, and will not read the Ledger oftener
than she does her Bible.
The coming girl will walk FIVE miles
day if need be, to keep her cheeks in glow,
and will mind her health, her physical de
velopment and her mother will adopt cos.
tune both sensible and conducive to comfort
and health will not cOhfound bypocricy
with politeness will not place trying to
please above frankness will have courage to
cut an unwelcome acquaintance will not
think refinement is French dupliCity; that
the assumed hospitality, where hate dwells
in the heart, is better than condemnation
will not confound grace of government with
silly affectation will not regard the end of
her being to have beau.
The coming girl will not look to Paris,
but to reason, for her fashions will not fol-
low foolish fashion because milliners and
dressmakers decreed it; will not torture her
body, shrivel her soul with puerilties, or.
ruin it with wine and pleasure. In short,
the coming girl will seek to glOrify her Ma
ker, and to enjoy mentally his works Duty
will be her aim, and life living reality.
, 1869-04-30
@alla NalIa 5Statestuatl.

PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY EVENING, BT
WILLIAM H. NEWELL.
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
, 1869-04-30
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