davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
The Wit Of Printers.

Printers are witty, an there is species Of
da5lerie in their wit Il is bitter, wthering
relentless Woe TO him VINO provokes it, and IS
compelled to be Of their number, unless he has
a sharp tongue, and can retOrt IN sind. COM
posing room not only takes the nonsense out Of
men, it too often takes the sentiment and socit-
bility out Of them also. II Is 4 severe school
like the hard training OF the prize ring; men
not very strong sink under 1t, and those who 20
through it lose something they would better
have kept. Any printer who shows annoyance
is AT the mercy Of all the rest, and they have lit
tie mercy where satire and sarcasm can wound.
| have known sensitive youths from the country
goaded almost to madness by this intellectual
hazng but they grew hardened after a while,
and gave good as they received. Any ridicu-
lous speech absurd act Of a compositor be-
comes part Of himself, haunts him like a spec
tire, follows him like a shadow. Any ludicrous
mistake he may make clings to him as the shirt
of Nessus, and with much the same effect It
becomes tradition, not only of the office in
which he is working, but of all the offices in the
coun,ry-for there is a constant intercommuni-
cation between them. Ee may quit New York
and 90 to New Orleans, but he will find the joke
at mis- expense has preceded him. What he has
done in Galveston travels faster than he, and
when he enters the Post or the Transcript, he
finds that Boston has heard of his blunder.
Years ago | wrote very careful notice Of Ed
win Booths Hamet-some time before he had
made his impersonation famous-and was vexed
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

LOVE AND MsERAGE.-That love is the
leading element Of the highest happiness in
marriage that love, while it lasts, covers a
multitude of errors. prryations, misfortune
even sins-i do not doubt. But the question
Is. How far is love when unaccompan-
led by any other of the conditions which |
have mentioned as belonging to a perfect
marriage, itself a justification Of marriage
True love works wonders; but it cannot pre-
vent the physical and mental ailments which
develop themselv in people Of feeble organ
isms. 1t cannot supply a lack of intelligence.
a want OF force in either husband or wife /;
and, as all housekeepers know, it cannot
% make the pot boil " Love alone, when We
consider its proverbal instability. and the
small chance it has Of surviving under bleak
conditions, is certainly an insufficient capital
upon which to commence the partnership Of
marriage. Tins Is true of even the highest
and strongest love how much more SO of the
hasty and passionate attachments which
lead 10 so many thousand Of marriages
There is an infinIty of false sentiment
about the passion of love. While | would
not cast doubt upon the existence Of noble
love, Of devotion, and Of passion which no
sorrow or trial can tire, which is even refined
and strengthened by suffering, yet the valne.
the Office, the very nature of love in ordin-
ary life is generally misunderstood. Love
is the most exaggerated passion in literature.
It holds in our imaginations, position
which it does not hold in the life Of one man
or woman in a thousand. Being the su
preme passion Of modern art, says re-
cent writer, - it becomes necessary to sound
high its praises. We should suppose, if we
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

The man who wrote % Home Sweet Home
never had home.-EIciqnge
No, of course not. All his folks at home
say he didn't Nobody who writes about
anything ever has it. Ifa man is out ofany-
thing be Immediately goes and writes about
1t. No one writes So many headings a-
the man who is out of his head
The author Of " Take me back t1 Switzer-
land - never was in Switzerland. The near
est he ever came TO it was sitting IN the Viii
liam Tell saloon eating SwItzer ka-c-L -Lgv
why, that was the best he could do.
" Mother, I've Come Home to Die, hasn't
spoken to the old woman for years. and
wouldn't 20 near the house besides, be- r.
one of that class ofspirirualists who don't be-
lieve they ever Will die His health was uey-
er better His mother is nothing bat o
mother-in-law, and she is dead. ANYHOW.
There is the author of '' Old Oaken Buck
e5 - too; there wasn't bucket on the
whole farm, water being drawn with tin
pail and a cistern pole.
Sc If had but Thousaui a wear stated
privately to his friends that he would be per
fectIy cortentcd with half that sum. rs he
was doing chores for his board and three
months schooling in the winter
" Shells OF Ocean is a humhug. The
plaintiye poet who represents himself as
wandering, one summers eve. with -ea-bcat
thought, on pcnsiye shore, was raised in the
interior of Pennsylvania, and never was ten
miles from home in his life. "Gathcrel
shells did he?-Egg shells, back of his
mothers kitchen.
The man who wrote - Song of the Shirt. '
hadn't shirt to his back, wearing a wam-
pus for the most part.
" Oft in the Silly Night " used to get on
the spree and make the stilly night howl till
daybreak.
The author Of 1--WE met by Chance
knew very well it was all arranged before
hand. He had been weeks in contriving it,
and she admired his contriyance.
The author Of - Know Bank" Ec.,
didn't know where he could get his note
discounted. The only check he ever held was
a white d" check - on farobank. He never
had a red check in his life.
" What are the Wild Waves saving?"
knew very well that they were reproaching
him for running away from Long Branch
without paying his hotel bill.
" Hear me, Norma " was deaf and dumb.
He could not make his pa hear, nor ma.
The author Of Rain upon the Roof - al
ways slept in the basement, except when he
slept out of doors.
81 Let me Kiss him for his mother got
mad because his mother wouldn't have him,
and whipped her little boy within an inch of
his life.
Il Dreamt | Dwelt in Marble Halls -
used to cheat at marbles when a boy, and his
dream was horrid nightmare, brought on
by remorse at the recollection of fraudulent
marble hdulS.
"Im saddest when Sing, WAS tickled al
most to death when invited to.
Happy be thy Dreams sold benzine
whisky You can fancy what kind of
90 dreams y were produced Cmannatl
Times.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

toned his fingers sought for the button !;
missing it, in his distress he looked down for
1t in vain. &" He stood confounded, D." SAYS he
penltent, aggressOr. 60 took his place, nor
did he ever recover it, or suspect the author
Of his wrong" This story, however, tells
two ways. Doubtless some bodily habits es-
tablish associations favorable to the memory,
and quieting to irri:abiIlty; the mischief is
that the mind becomes dependent, and is
stranded when cut off from the old moor
ings.
TwItching which disturb some pleasant
countenances with involuntary action NAV or
may not be tricks, and therefore can only be
hinted at. But the laugh which some persons
indulge in must have been at some time under
control. and is nothing else than a trick in it
continuance beyond the occasion and singu-
larity OF intonation. Yet often such eccen-
tricities are only outlets Fan irrepress BE
originality, and perhaps there is if not one Of
the friends or acquaintance We most value
but has some distinction Of the sort, not good
or graceful in itself. but which becomes him,
or at least i pleasant as lending a color and
characteristic to what We admire and value.
ltisa token Of unconsci0usness, and, it may
''Nf va 044A lIiAAAAf ~ ll4Z a. IHItt'4I nave
strong points To our mind, we like them 70
have an assailable side-one open to amused
comment and goodnatured derision. 1t is
probable that we. as a nation. are subject
to these little disorders Free gesticulation is
an outlet for superiluous activities and a ready
utterance and lacile verbiage are a similar
pre-eryntive from tricks Of the tongue.
Healthful bodily exercise, life Of sober,
steady labor, generally exempts from them
among ourselves People who are busy with
their limbs all the day can rest them in quiet.
They will be awkward when called to un
accustomed exertion, but will not be habitu-
ally eccentric in movement. Il requires an
amount of leisure and voluntary action To
develop these singularitic- The vacant
open mouth, So much a trick as any other,
belongs TO NJ handicraft. 10 i seen in the
girl who chooses 90 be idle mentally and
bodily. The tricks of imTatence and impet-
u.,iJy are observed where abori7 not com
ruls1ry, however congenial in fact, tricks
generally are an expressive, however Ill and
awkward, assertion of liberty Of action, and
began iu some exercise Of iudepcndauce. in
however unconscious defiance 0f convention
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

to read in the morning paper of his " intellectu-
al rendering Of the melancholy Dave. - But the
change Of a single letter had made the phrase so
ridiculous that [ could not help but laugh. If
hat wanted revenge, | should have had 1t in ex-
cess, for the printers caught up the unfortunate
expression, and fairly drove the poor fellow out
Of the Office with it. lie had several hghts-in
some Of them he was victorious, in others he was
Yanluished; but nothing could prevent his be-
ing dubbed the Melancholy Dave" and
Dave Hamlet, ~ g How are you, Dave?'' ''Tsll
US about Dave Hamlet greeted him whenever
ne made his appearance. | perpetrated joke
10 snied him, acknowledging that it was enough
10 maze any man melancholy not to have to
ms name But it was Of no benefit to the perse-
cutei. tie was doomed lie went from one Of
nee 10 another, in each the :. Melancholy Dave -
was hurled at him. He left the city and sought
refuge from the bateful sobriquet hundreds Of
miles away. IL Travelled with him like the sep
tire with the jisloyaI knight. He abandoned his
calling. When the war broke out he enlisted on
the Southern side and fell in a desperate cavalry
charge That nickname drove him to death
The last memory that haunted him must have
been that Of the " Melancholy Dave
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

read only novels and poetry, that the one
thing interesting in life is the relation Of the
exes and the anxieties of pairing. Many
young people are so dizzy with love that
they are unable to 90 on with the other in
terests Of life They cannot see men as they
are, engaged in their daily work, pursuing
their various ends and living a multiiariOus
life, Of which love is but a single element.
Our regard for the passion oyersteps the
healthy limit, and becomes morbid we
judge Of it unuuly we attend to its prompt
ings with absurd expectations we teach our
selves that the passion is uncomfortable, and
regard it as a kind OF fate and we glorify
the supremacy Of first love, as II the
heart did not require training as varied as
the intellect. Considering the widespread
misery which our mise ncepu0ns of love
have wrought, we might doubt whether this
passion was not the greatest mislortuneas well
as the greatest blessing in the world. We may
conclude in spite Of Chaucer, that Loves ale
glance is not the only thing neediul to make
a permanently happy marriage Ga'ory.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

spired during the debate that one London
firm had been employed tc forge the names
of eight thousand persons to the petition,
and that the Lords Day Observance Associ-
tion itself, which had discovered the fraud in
the petition, but was astonished at being t.
self detected, had also employed the some
firm to forge ten thousand names to the re-
monstrance. The Lords Day people had
the worst Of it.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

round-faced woman before me, whose hands have
moulded the yellow balls in the ashen tub fit tor
an honest man 10 spread IN his bread, should
be Countess Of Churn.
These dairymen are our true ari-tocra q.
They look the whole world in the face ior
they owe not any mau."
They are owners Of the soil Ii is the lusi-
ness to turn these buttercups and dluielious,
and succulent grasses into golden butter. They
are rich. They are intelligent enough tc COM
prehend what Is going on in the world ST
Albans buttermen are shrewd enough to sell the
products Of their dairies, instead Of holding for
higher prices. They don't get their fingers
burnt after the manner Of the Minnesota wheat
growers.
These men, says gentleman residing
here, are all h5liers Of government bonds
They have money in the banks. They live we'll
and enjoy ife.
We have not yet been able to understand why
St. Albans Is able TO make the market
for butter throughout the country, but SO it IS.
Nearly million dollars per auuum is received
By the farmers cf these towns for butter and
cheese alone.
They rear horses also for the Boston and New
York markets Many q matched plir which
take the Brighton and BoomiH-la,e road were
sent 10 market from these green hills Of Franklin
county There are farmers on the streets TO-
day with spans III training for the city market.
" How much do You ask FOR that span 3'' is
the question which We put To "A wide avail @ tlr
mer. He does not answer ~ once, but sends
searching glance an over us from head to foot.
1t is characteristic Of Yermonters. They DO net
answer in a hurry.
'' Five thousand dollars
- Rather high Is it not: :''
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
Summer Fashions.

An immense variety Of new materials have
been brought forward lately; of these foul
ard of different kinds is very fashionable, more
especially the @ Celeste Empire, which has
the texture and brilliancy of China grapes
and the new japanese, kind Of silk cloth
which does not crumple easily, and Is not
injured by a shower Of rain. Pale, delicate
colors, where suitable, are very much lu
vogue at times they are trimmed with a
brighter color, such as violet or pale straw.
Poutis and Vaniers continue in almost uni
yersal favor, under a variety of names, but
Partisan leaders of fashion allow no exagger-
alton in any Of them care must therefore be
exercised III arranging these Taniers so as NOT
u produce the ungraceful effect which this
exaggerauon, too common here, invariably
produces.
Flounces are very much worn. and gener
ally number Of little Aounces seem pre-
terred. Colored muslin robes, with scalloUed
Hounces, are very pretty over silk pettic5at.
the bottom being scalloped and worked in
dots with silk
There is a new manner Of making long
dresses into short, by merely looping them up
with bows of a darker shade than the mate
rial. Bodies are for the most part made
open, either heart-shaped or square. they
continue, also, to he made to tasten down the
side Ia P0lonaisc. The plain coat sleeve Is
still worn with all styles. bat we also see
sleeves slashed with b1uillon> OF with wide
mousquctaire reyers. Sabot sleeves are only
for very elegant or ire,-v toilette
Costume, for young girls are very stylish
when made Of Alcerinc material or toularI,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

The creature seemed certainly to possess
something very like affection, and could
but ask myself '' Is it not possible that he
sometimes recalls a sweet. gracious house
hold presence. martyred and sainted, one who
moved softly, spoke gently, and had kind
word l3r all that he may still watch and
wait for yet another, a fair young girl, to
whose permaturely sad thoughts his merry
mockeries gave sometimes pleasant di-
version ?'
Who can tell?-the bird life has mysteries
upon which we may not trench. But eyi-
IDENTIFY the tragedy tha. has made that house
historical, and the sorrow that has render
ed it sacred, did not greatly depresS his
spirit, or darken his views Of life. He was
almost always merry and iocund, and the
sad conditions Of human mortality seemed
to touch him hut lightly.
He Is gone now, with his master, and his
master : beloved family, and before that hos
pi'able mansion on Lafayette Square, the
memorial sentinel stalks no more
Peace % with thee thou prince of parrots,
and with thy master, who, whatever, men
NAV grant or deny him, however partisane
may differ as to his political course, certainly
possesses, in m eminent degree, " the genius
to be loved - who has borne JOY and sorrow,
success and failure, glory and detraction,
with rare dignity, cheeriulness, and pbiloso-
phv.- Grace Greenwood.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
Hymn.
Tor A rcBLIC CHARITY.

TOR a r-BLlC CHARITY.
o Thou, in whom in joy or woe,
Our hearts would ain a Father know,
Teach Us. while on that name We call,
Thy children are our brothers all.
In helpless want brother lies;
On yonder starving couch he dies;
In prison with broken heart he groans,
On feyer's bed he feebly means.
Oh ! list across the eastern wave
The voice Of one who came to save:
Who succors these, the least Of mine,
To me hath done that deed divine -
That sacred voice cur breasts shall thrill,
That great example urge US still,
Till, humbly helping others woe,
Our own frail hearts shall purer grow.
EdriH Morton.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
Princess and Page.
ET LUCY Il. HooILE

Spring in France is sunny and ilir,
Springs sweet oiers enchant the arr
Into the Louvre easement wide
Pourotb the sunshine golden tide
r-;,eoss Marguerite standeth there,
Jevelei daises amid her hair.
et., .1.nces down and whispers low.
WHO is that page that waits below -
Yon handsome youth with Joyous air,
With broad white brow and shining hair. -
The page looks up-his eager Glance
Rests on the fairest face il France.
Glance answers glance with meaning sweet,
Fair pacg-flir Princess Marguerite.
II.
The summers scented zephyrs glide
Into the L5uyre's easement wide.
Summers sunshine in golden sheeg
GImmers around Queen CathaIiue.
" What halsome page" She mutiers low.
" Is he that waitetA uov below -
The velvet cap that crowns his curls
Is cla-osl with FL lljSy VIZ ought Of pearl
Last night he sang an Oh song sweet.
81 dogec. ST douce, est ia Marguerite.
"I lear and heed: So layea care.
NJ handsome page my dla@dter ia.r
III.
The autumn winds chant viii refrain
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

MopEL CHRISTIANS IN LoNDoN.-Recentiy,
in the British House of Commons, some de-
bate was had on the opening of the British
Museum and other like places Of amusement
on Sundays A petition in favor of the mea-
sure. signed by forty-one thousand of the
citizens Of London, had been presented, and
a remonstrance, largely signed, against the
measure, had also been received from the
Lords Day Observance Association. 1t tran
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

A blind horse wandered into the river at In
diana1olis, the other day. and getting beyond
his depth swan around in circle in his ell lrts
to find his way out. His distress attracted the
attention Of horse near by on the bank. Who
instantly went to his assistance. lie first went
to the waters edge and attempted TO direct the
blind horse by neighing, but finding this pro
ceeding Intellectual, he boldly took to the water
and swan out to his relief. After swimming
around with him for nearly quarter Of an hour
he finally got the blind horse to understand his
good intentions, and in what direction the land
Law. and the two horses came 20 shore side by
side. amid the cheers Of upward OF one hundred
persons, who were interested spectators Of the
scene.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
To Els ha.

Elysha Spraig, eve bail Old ec,
Nhoo kant spel wurrh a lern,
Yew termed yer bak TO Mandy Kraig,
And now yer mCnny hern.
D0wue with Yer creeubax, lett EN- trott,
So Mandy kraiC may buy
4 luvyer who no tum0r' gott,
Nor weakness ot the j.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09

Singing is q great " institution 1t oils the
wheels Of care, supplies the place of sunshine.
a man who sings has good heart under his
shirt-front. Such man not only works more
willingly, but works more constantly. \ sing
ing cobbler will earn as much again money as
one who gives way to low spirits and indiges-
ton. Avaricious men never sing. The man
who attacks singing throws a stone at the head
hilarity, and would, if he could, rob June Of its
roses and August of its meadow lsrl Singing
promotes health, strengthens the voice, the or
gans Of tha throat and lungs, and prevents or
cures consumption. Singing is an excellent
agent for promoting mental hygiene-HerGld Of
Health.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09
From Hearth and Home
/ Diplomatic Parrot.

Edria Morton.
From Hearth and Home.
Di'''''''-' "i'O''
Among the many attractions of the hos
pi-ab.e Washington residence OF Mr.. Seward,
late Secretary Of State, we bird-lovers class
tie parrots and the beautiful Iarrakeets. OF
an those tie most Viquant. lively. and
reliable entertainer was certain stately old
parrot. in handsome livery OF green and
scarlet-the Secretarys own particular pet
and sip.
His cage usually hung in tine pleasant
little library opening off the hall, where he
watched the inclmiuEs and outgoings of the
household: where he saw the visitors who
drrrad in. informally: where be heard
their light gossip. their hurried business
talk. or their crave Inquiries 0r arguments
on affairs of State In political discussions,
whenever they grew at all stormy he es-
Ie.allv delighted. and seldom failed to
mmg,e-r5rallv riding on the storm. and
loyalty echIiu- Do. distinguished masters
-,ut.meut-. or helping To laugh hj. opu0n-
cur- down.
That lau.4 ot his is the most -tartinrlv
human sound ever heard from the throat Of
a bird. Iii. frIrhtfulIv funny.
Some time JAS. summer. while the window
near which hi, care stood was kent omen.
rbe lar-5t wa. attracted Lv tie vocal exer-
..i-,s .r ar infant rsv+ 5.o- ora .f these
eberubi. Isbie- that d" continually d5 erv ~
and ar len.-h he startled the family by am
imitation da}orau,.v rerfsct that it was
feared some DOOR little cast away had some
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1869-07-09


Let us visit the state House lu the aelatlu
village Of Concord. Tn order to see the General
C.,.-. ,. va. r,..,.-I;-. -.,..- i. ........- -,,
-'" 1-'Ae'7' we 7--'' .''' '9 ''7'.
the D." 'etfy month VI june
v.a.l +l.. S-.-s Hons. -.-..- ia -s. he4r- %
'11 ,'"H- 7
granite AMI looks very fresh '--i 'i-..'' -i' ..-
been r.-.e,rgreH IaI'.I
....-...... .-....-....-,-.y. Han What
=
a cia" ei men Is .s''.a A''-4Ni d. ''As7 ".- ''
these TO make gp the General tour. Here are
.-.. -i.... -I... E..-r...l ,...-f.-. H.--r.s.f.-
.--
7' .l'" -' "
measures 10 eighty .. .T i'r'F-.tt -..
j. d very Ilr-s I.---'ltlI.- especially r-
..
Ten or 81 dozen -'al mere lis ..-
tle members ot tAe General Court.
r.s-,..... T.,-... -...-..i-.- -r.. G....r g. .5.-
.r--..-.
a' "-' aura
Zach ma... sr is scented -.. hard .laaa .a-r
f.-..r. with .. STRAIGHT f.l... arI,. ta.r .a..r
.......-.... .-.-- .........
n3 room ' " . '.s
floor. 'a a..t each a" t members
..--..e ...-l ....-. fr, +. g. I. ..-e..l o.