Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1869-05-11
WHO Is ABBoTT9

Brick Eomeroy is lnlnltable. NoDody
writes like him nobody can write like him.
Some of his articles are worth more than half
dozen subscription prices to his paper. oa
the 9th of May, his New York Democrat con-
tanned the following editorial on the Sprague
and Abbott farce, which is so admirable that
we feel constrained to give Cur readers the
benefit of it,
In our Office hangs map of the United
States, which cost ten dollars. That is tho
map, not the Office. Away up yonder toward
the toppermost end is little spot of red,
about the size of drop of blood from mans
nose, after a muscular visitation upon the
aforesaid nasal organ. Tart not, gentle read
or that is Rhode Island
1t is small chunk of terra Jfrn,d, lodged
in the crack between Massachusetts, and Con-
necticut. United States Senator Sprague
lives there that is, when at home. Sprague
is lively. rooster for one of. his size. He
owns some cotton mills, with much spindles.
And he employs many spinsters, who spin with
those spindles. He counteth his ducats by ye
million. He rolls and revels in wealth, like
calfin the green pasture ofa clover field He
aboundeth in means, and no odds asketh he
of any man for the loan of dollar. Wealth
sits enthroned in the pockets of his breeches,
like terrapin on a rock, handy to have about
the house.
When Sprague wanted a jews-harp, vial
of paregoric, set of knives and forks, new
tooth in his garden rake, box of paper col
lars, two-cent postage-stamp, he purchased
the same without embarrassment. We all
know Spfague. He cottons to nobody, all
though much cotton manufactures he, Not
by his own hands, bat by dint ofhs directions.
And though he is no apostle, his cotton>mills
are made up among the profits Therefore,
great is Sprague. In fact, he is all there is
OF Rhode Island, except Providence and
mighty little does Rhode Island, or any other
part of New England, care for Providence,
and Providence careth not much for New
England.
When Sprague lifts his voice in the United
States Senate, it is not Rhode Island but
Sprague that speaketh. When Rhode Island
says wag to Sprague, Spraguc wageth not at
all. But when Sprague saith to Rhode Island
wag, then doth Rhode Island wag. OF late
the United States Senator from Rhode Island
has been giving the Republican party fits
He says it is made up of liars, thieves, rascals,
towards, bounty-jumpers, army spectators,
shoddy contractors, and eminent ROSTERS of
devilmeut generally. He made speech in
the Senate the other day, which kicked up
more sncezing than would Cayenne pepper on
a hot stove the night of a spelling school. -
During his speech he had occasion TO say,
"Puppy"-h was speaking of politicalpuppies
that have no minds of their own.
Some dogs come when you whistle for them.
They understand this much of dog language
Some dogs, that is, Young dogs, when you say
''puppy," wag their tails, cock up their ears.
elevate their noses, and look pleased. If
they are too old to be puppies, it is necessary
to call them dogs, that no offence may be
taken, therefore this discrimination. When
Sprague said puppy" one Abbott, Senator
from North Carolina, responded. Said ABB
bott, That's me; I'm puppy No matter
what suspicious people harbor ed, there was
no proof Abbott was puppy till he barked.
Abbott is Senator from North Carolina he
carried carpet-bag to that State, rested his
heels against pine tree till they were cover
ed with tar, and at last finds his tent pitched
in the United States Senate.
Taking ofense at Sprague's remarks, this
Abbott proposed TO shoot the capital of Rhode
Island, He left with much haste for his home
down among the pine>trees, set himself by an
open window, and waited for Sprague to chal.
lcnSe him, but no challenge came. Then he
threatened to horsewhip Rhode Island if
RhUde Island would come down there, but
that little State had no business out of Wash
lngton. Then he avowed his determination
to cane the aforesaid Sprague on sight, but
he never saw him. That is it was not con-
yeuient to look that way. Sprague said he
would shoot Abbott, and Abbott said he
would kill sprasue, and great was the con-
sterUation of the Senate. So they had much
ado about nothing.
So they blowed, and ranted, and cantcd
and lodged, aud backed, and filed, one goin,.
up one street and the other down the other
one going east at one end of the CITY and the
other going west at 'tother, with all the req.
lTity of theatrical sword combat. And
thus they had terrible fight And thew
proved the wisdom of the Late -Lamented's
remark when he said, ''Nobody hurt"
Editors in Washington wrote obituaries oF /