Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-12-24
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Pooh RE11EF.-Being relieved of ones
watch.
A VOICE from our waste LANDS - I~s
called for" IKE, a
THE Washington Life issues policies on
all approved plans.
ABOUT as dangerous net as fellow
can fall in with is a brunette.
The manufacture of glass eyes en-
ploys 900 men in this country.
A CLASS deserving Legislation on "Ab-
stract Principles. "-Pickpockets. .*
GOOD FOR THE BLUES -Go and see the
poorest and sickest families within your
knowledge.
AN Indian Chief in Arizona is putting
on airs because his wife cost four ponies
the usual price being one.
GIVE the world half of Sunday and you
will find religion has no strong hold OF the
other half-Str Waiter Scott.
THE French comic papers represent the
French Sorosis leader as firing spool can
non loaded with enamel and hair-pins.
81 AM sorry to say" said sheriff to a
handsome young widow, that have an
attachment for you" am happy to say,
sir, that it isn't mutual"
If running after the women be sin, 1t
is one which is very easily checked. All
that's necessary is for women to stop run
ming away from the men.
az WILL have order |" shouted the Cap
tain of a schooner to his refractory cook.
eff you won't cook the dinner, Ill-do it
myself will have dicipline on board OF
this ere vessel"
A sCHooLMAsTER, describing money
lender, says: "He serves you in the
present tense, he lends you in the condi-
tional mood, keeps you in the subjunctive,
and ruins you in the future.
"YoU'vE destroyed my peace of mind"
said respondent lover to truant lass
at can't do you much harm, John, for
twas an amazing small piece you had,
anyway" was the quick reply.
Two rival bellies met at ball. Glow
we'll you look under candle light!' OK
claimed one, with stress on the candle.
"And how charming you look in the
dark |" answered the other FrlsT
SHOCKS was advised to get his life in
sured. Wont do it," said he; 1T would
be Just my luck to live forever, if l
should" Mrs Shocks merely said, swell
then, I wouldn't, my dear"
IT is no small praise to say that the
Washington perfectly well represents and
justi6es liberal, benevolent, wisely de-
vised and prudently managed system of
Life Insurance. Its directors are men not
merely of wealth, but of high and stain
less character. Its affairs are, and ever
have been, managed with honor, prudence,
energy and skill. q "
A NEW YORK bachelor saw a nice
young woman helping blind man across
the street, and forthwith was introduced,
wooed, and married the girl. She told her
lady friends all about it, and the conse-
quence is that a new society has been
started called 1.-THE Young Ladies' HUI
Men Across the Street."
A WRITER in the Boston Journal of
Chemistry takes the ground that the prac-
tice OF evaporating water upon stoves and
furnacesis not conducive to health or COM
fort, asserting that atmospheric air can
not be dried up or burned up" by any
heating apparatus in use at the present
day, and that while heated air has larger
capacity to hold vapor than cold air, none
of its natural moisture is expelled from ii
by heat.
A FoRLoRN- LOOKING female entered a
business house in New London the other
day and exhibited book on the first page
of which was a printed notice setting forth
the sad misfortune of the bearer and her
family, with special notice at the bot.
tom that the bearer could not speak Eng
llsh. She was given some change, and
when about leaving was called suddenly
back and asked: Don't you understand
English at ALP" She very readily an.
swered, No, me speak Italian"
SAwDUsT, wetted with sulphuric acid
diluted with forty parts of water and dis
tributed about horse stables will, it is said
remove the disagreeable ammoniacal smell
the sulphuric acid combining with the am
MONA to form salt. Chloride Of lime
slowly evolves chlorine which will do the
same thing, but then the chlorine smells
worse than the ammonia. Sulphuric aciC
on the contrary!is perfectly inodorous The
mixture should be kept in shallow earthen
ware vessels The sulphuric acid useG
alone, either diluted or strong, would alb
serb more or less of the ammonia, bu
there would be danger of spilling it abou
and causing serious damages, and besides
this the sawdust offers large surface tt
the floating gas. The experiment is easily
tried and it may prove successful
NAME bE6iNNlNG.-dOWm many pool
idle, hesitating, erring outcast is now
creeping, crawling his way through the
world, who might have held up his heaG
end prospered, if, instead of putting off his
resolutions of amendment and industry
he had made beginning. A beginning
and good beginning, too, is necessary
The first weed pulled up in a garden, the
first time manly II WILL" is said, the
first seed put in the ground, the first dol
lar put in the savings bank, and the frs
mile travelled in q journey, are all very
important things. They make begin
ming; and thereby hope, a promise, al
assurance is held out that you are in earn
est in what you have undertaken. Say.
the poet - .e r.- --~ F, 4.
" Had not the base been laid by builders wise.
The pyramids had never reached the slies."
--s->-~---------- ,}xEF ~
A Very Suspicious Document.