Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1869-12-22
An Amusing Railway Incident.

The managers Of railroads running
west from Chicago pretty rigidll
enforce u rule excluding from certail
reserved cars all gentlemen travelling
without ladies. As ] do not smoke,
avoided the smoking cars; and as th
ladies car was sometimes more selec
and always more comfortable than th,
other cars, tried various expedient
TO smuggle myself in If saw I
lady about to enter the car alone,
followed closely, hoping thus to elud,
the vigilance of the brakeman, who
generally acted as door.keeper. Bu
the car Cerberus is pretty well up tc
all such lodges, and ! did not always
succeed. On one occasion, seeing o
young couple, evidently just married
and starting on a bridal tour, about
to enter the car, | followed closely
but was stopped by the door. keeper
who called out:
chow many gentlemen are with
this lady%
have always noticed that young
newly-married people are very fond Of
saying "my husband and my wife ?
they are new terms which sound
pleasantly to the ears of those who
utter them; so in answer to the per.
emptory inquiry Of the door-keeper
the bridegroom promptly answered y
~ am this lady's husband"
"And | guess you can see by the
resemblance between the lady and
myself" said / TO Cerberus, "that
am her father"
The astonished husband and the
blushing bride were too much "talen
back TO deny their newly discovered
parent, but the brakeman said, as he
permitted the young couple to pass
into the car:
"Wo can't pass all ceeation with
one LADY,
al hope you will not deprive me OF
the company Of my child during the
little time we Can remain together" !
said with a dembre countenance. The
brakeman evidently sympatbizcd with
the fond parent whose feelings were
sufficiently lacerated at losing bis
daughter through her finding hus.
band, and l was permitted TO pass. /
Immediately apologized to the young
bride and her husband, and told them
who / was, and my reasons for the
assumed paternity, and they enjoyed
the Joke so heartily that they called
me father" during the entire journey
together. Indeed, the husband pri-
vately and slyly hinted to me that the
first boy should be christened "P. T."
Ny friend, the Rev. Dir. Chaplin, by
the by an inveterate punster, is never
tired Of ringing the changes on the
names in my family; he says that my
wife npd are the most sympathetic
couple he ever saw, since she is
"Charity' and am "Pityp (P. T.)
On one occasion at my house in New
York, be called my attention to the
monogram, p T. B., on the door and
said, 81 did it," "Did what Z" asked
"Why that" replied the doctor, "P
t. B.,-Pull The Bell, Of COURSE"
thus literally ringing a new change on
my initials
AT another time during my western
lecturing trip, was following closely
in the wake OF a lady who was enter.
ing the favorite car, when the brake
man exclaimed:
"You can't go in there, sirw
al rather guess / can 20 in with a
LADY," said /, pointing to the one who
had just entered.
Not with that lady, old fellow
for happen TO know her, and that is
more than you do; we are up to all
these tricks out here it's no 60"
| saw indeed that it was "no 20"
and that must try something else.
Look here my dear fellow" said /,
81 am travelling every day on the
on a lecturing tour through
out the West, and | really hope you
will permit me TO take seat in the
ladies' car lam Barnum, the Museum
man from New York"
Looking sharply at me for an
the altogether toe wide-awalse
brakeman exclaimed; "Not BY d-n
sight you amt | know Barnumw
| could not help laughing; and
pulling several old letters from my
pocket, and showing him the direc-
lions on the envelopes, / replied;
"Well, you may know him, but the
sold fellow" has changed in his appear
lnce, perhaps. You see by these let |
Lers that / am the 'crittur.'"
The brakeman looked astonished. |
but finally said "Well, that is fact
sure enough ! know you when ! |
come to look again, but really / did |
not believe you at first You see we
nave all sorts Of tricks played on us,
md we learn to doubt everybody. |
You are very welcome to 20 in, Mr. |
Barnum, and | am glad to see you,"
md as this conversation was heard 7
the car, "Barnum, the
was the subject of general |
observation and remark. -jStruggiss |
md Triumphs,
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