davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18
af(isttllanpg, y
The oId Bachelor.
By JOSH BILLINGS.

By JOSH BILLINGS.
A chronick old bachelor izinvariably IL oy
the neuter gender, don't care how much
he may offer tew bet that it aint so.
They are like dried apples Oh string
want good soaking before they will do
to use.
suppose there IL some of them who
have good excuse for their nUterness !;
many of them are too stingy to marry.
This IL one of the best excuses kno ov,
for stingy man aint fit tew have nice
woman.
Some old bachelors Git after ilirt, and
kant travel so fast rs she doz, and then
konkludes awl the female group are hard
to ketch, and good for nothing when they
are ketched.
A flirt is a rough thing to overhaul un-
less the right dog gets after her, and then
they are the easiest ov awl to kctch, and
often make very best oy wives.
When tlirt really tails III loFe, she IL
rs powerless as mown daily.
Her impudencc then changes into mod
eslv, her cunning into fear, her spurs into
halter, her pruning hook into cradle.
The best way to catch a tlirtiz tew trav-
el the other way from which they are go
ine, or sit down on the ground and whis-
tie some lively tune till the fiirt comes
round.
Old bachelors make the ilirts; and then
the flirts get more than ever, by making
the old bachelors.
A majority of the ili:ts git married
finally, for they have great quantity OF
the most dainty titbits of woman natur,
and alwus hay shrewdness to back up
sweetness.
Firts don't deal in poetry and water
Cruel; they hev got tew hav brains, or
else somebody would trade them out of
capital at the fust sweap.
Disappointed luv must ov course be
all on one side, and this aint eny more ex-
cuse fur being an old bachelor than it il
for man to quit awl kinds ofmanual la
Dor, jist out ofspite, and jipe poorhouse
because he kant lift ton at one pop.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

AMAN OF NERVE. 4 Washington let
ter remarks of Mr. Grcely THAT the con-
troll he has of his countenance is nearer
what is related OF Talleyrand than any
man we wot Oft being said of the lat
ter that if any man were TO kick him be-
hind. a man in front could not tell from
the expression of his face that ANYTHING
unusual was occurring" This reminds
a correspondent of IN incident that oc.
Cured in Omaha; \ gentleman who had
received an insulting miSSiVe determined
to resent it promptly Next day, thinA
inc he saw man ahead, he hastily over
took him and administered several pedal
sautations. The kickee remaining pas
sive. the kicker went round in front to see
the effect. and discovered to his regret
that he had kicked the wrong man. lie
apologized, and was answered:
Don't mention it. From the trequen-
cy of such little episodes in my expert
ence was sensible of your demonstra-
ton, but was not aware you had made
any mistake"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18
Four Great Events.

The present century has seen these four
great events:
|. Morses invention of the Telegraph.
,. The laying ofthe Atlantic Cable.
3. The death of Slavery in the United
States.
4. The completion of the Pacific Rail-
way.
In twenty-five years the continent has
been spanned by the wires of the tele-
graph. Ten yea sago the lightning be-
gan to run beneath the sea. Five years
ago the war for freedom ended, and
slavery died. Yesterday the iron track
was made complete from Portland to San
Francisco.
The young man Of today, who has
seen all these things accomplished. will
have tales to tell to his grandchildren
such as no grandsire of our day can
summon from the stores of his memory.
N. Y. Evening Post.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18


Gle on and ultimately reach noble height
in the world of letters. But trembled
so when dropped the note into the post.
office that l could hardly stand. / had
not trembled when that man asked me to
become his wife, nor had | prayed over
what my answer should be, rs prayed
for success now; but said to myself in
grim desperation, if this last effort for n
living is failure, / will accept his offer,
and God forgive me if do wrong.
''ln one month, probably before, |
should know if my sketch was accepted
and paid for, which was the interesting
part, after all, just then; and if there was
a prospect of my earning living by my
pen. The alternative seemed too dread
ful to contemplate.
"IIe was no very ardent lover and will
ling to wait for his answer, as | suppose
the possibility of refusal never entered
his head. He was called handsome, liked
by the ladies who saw not the blackencd
heart beneath the fair exterior. and felt
well, of course for what good looking
man. nattcred BY the ladies', doesn't feel
well ?
Il went about the house calmly, quiet
". and it seems TO me now, in kind of
deadened sensibility. Ilclt that could
endure all things: whatever came now
should not move me-a very unhealthy
state of affairs, no doubt; and when, at
last, the mail brought me n letter with
ten dollars enclosed, and wish express
ell fora series of sholt sketches, for each
orwhch the same amount would be paid,
| could hardly believe my own eyes
that from the darkness dawned light,
afar of. il might be, but the gladening
rays led me away from the deep, dark pit
at my feet and placed them upon solid
foundation.
Il read the letter in sort of maze and
could not comprehend all it meant to me
until three days aiter-juSt rs long as 1t
takes TO cure a man of love. In my case
it meant salvation from life of sin, 4
home and comforts for my father and my
self, all within my reach, honestly aud
easily to be accomplished laughed | and
cried both together and by turns, and as
tonishcd my poor old father by giving him
several bcavish hugs, very unlike the EN-
brace of his gentle daughter, rs he used
10 call me, and thanked my Heavenly
Father that he had not forSakcn his child {;
las if he ever did forSakc his children y
that had not been left to- do that thing,
tha, the light had broken through mt last
"NIy dear, good father never knew how
near his child came 10 selling herself; he
only knew how happily and peacefully
our lives glided by, with plenty at the
board and peace in our hearts, till one
summer morning, with a smile on his lips,
he passed over the river he will be
there to meet me, my mother by his side,
those darkened eyes restored to sight. a
ioyous welcome home. | can think of it
only as going home after long journey in
foreign lands.
What did tell him, and what did be
say?' told him did not love him As 4
wife should love her husband. He
slammed the door and walked home fast
cr than ever saw him before or since.
As entered the room where father sat,
he asked if the wind was rising; we had
dreadful hurricanes then; said, i fear
So -
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

ten. Ges. Il jboW1. r Lt.fty',...
The Scientific Association %! "
toni believe that is the name-prc-
upon Gen Thomas All invitation 10 n
The members his story of the battle of
Nashville Gen Thomas, with great re-
luctancc, consented know that ! am
doing wrong to give any account OF 1t,
but | cannot resist. The day Is near
when every trait and every anecdote OF
this remarkable man will betrcaSulcd up,
and the Boswells be thanked for rec)ld-
ing them.
With map hung upon the wall. and
armed with light rattan the stalwart
form of the soldier stood before the little
company as much embarrassed as girl.
The man who had marshalled great
armies, and unhesitatinsly took the re.
sponsibility in huge fights, when the fate
of the republic hung trembling on the
issue, blushed like 4 boy, while the
perspiration gathered in drops upon his
forehead. 1t was with the greatest effort
that he forced himself to proceed. He
did so, however, with clearneSs and
power He sketchcd in few brief words
the compaign that culminal,
battle before Nashville lie thcn -, 4
the position Of the troop, under 10th
Hood and himself lie told. with the
power OF words when uncoIored by any
Imagination, the situation ofthe enemy rs
the twa armies lay facing each other,
until the hour came when they were
forced 10 Try conclusions, and OF the
ictor that followed
III, voice never vas raised above aeon
yer,ationAl tone, nor did he for Il second
betray any feeling. twas the great cap
tain changed to a historian, and retaining
the traits in the one that made him famous
in the other. In conclusion, he said,
calmly. that looking over all the ground,
he could find but one error with which to
charge himself But that, he said, was
grave error At the close of the first
days fighting, hc thought of detaching
Steadman with force enough To possess
himself of the for,ls of Tennessee 50 as to
intercept the retreating enemy. over
cautious, and fearing to weaken his fore
es. he hesitated and delayed until after
the second days fight, and then it was
too late. That was one error, but, he SAID,
it was a grave one.-Washngton Cor. oil
Cincinnati Commercial.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18
pottrp
FL ID ED FL UE RS.

An old man now sit and think
Alone and sad tonight,
some faded flowers tied mp with pink,
Have dropped before the light.
The book reached from OF the stand
seemed quite untouched for ages;
II open'd wide within my hand,
These iow'rs between the pages.
At once my thoughts 90 back for years,
Ny present life fades fast:
MY eyes grow dim-uubjdden tears
Spring forth and f1ll st last;
And all the mist of years roll by,
And all the weary hours,
And once again hear the sigh
Of one who pluckcd these now'rs
stand once more beside the stile-
Our usual trysting place
watch the look and note the smile
of one sweet up.;urn'd face.
And then the mis-; rolls back again,
Aud all seems Ike dream;
The woodland path the hawthorn lane,
The fow'rs beside the stream.
Al, me these little simple flows
Have brought back an the past,
NJ shadow'd life, my wasted hours,
Ny hopes; 80 soon o'crc2st.
sad memories, lying hu,hcd Tor wears,
Have sprung to life once more;
lrise, ami murmur midst my tears,
Not lost, hut gone before
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18
A friend relates the following "joak :,

A friend relates the following 'joak =
A party of men were surveying for n
railroad, and ofcourse they are entitled to
the best there is along the line. At one
house they thought the proprietor was a
little tardy in producing the cider. 1t
came at last, and was tasted by one ofthe
party with great deliberaiion. "How
much cider did you make this yearP" he
asked. mine barrels" was the reply.
Another sip. "Well, if You had had
another apple, you might have made
another barrel"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

TAXING WISE.-Gov. Briggs once said
to laby, Madam, it you will 90 by your
self in some corner here, and spend half
IN hour thinking over your acquaintanccs
and friends; and count the number of
victims to intcmperancc in each family
and can then come back to me, and say
that you think me ianatical in doing all ]
can to keep others from an evil so COM
mon and so dreadful, | will take wine
with you if you wish me to do so, for |
know YOU are 4 reasonable woman but
know that You will come back agreeing
with me that touch not, taste not" is
the only safe rule" She replied LAUGH
ing, "Of course I'll do it or anything
else that you request, but don't expect
me TO be converted; for YOU radical re-
formers always exaggeraie danger She
went, and in half an hour returned pale,
her eyes filled with tears, eXclaiming, %
Governor Briggs! how could You ask me
to 90 such a thing at party? am appall.
ed it is so dreadful to find that do not
know a family that does not number one
victim, and some have had their brightest
fall by it-fathers, husbands, chldren-it
is too dreadful to think of. | would not
have believed it. You are quite rig hit,
and will never ask you again TO drink
wine, nor call YOU ianatical for not taking
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

Domestic SCENE. Pretty time ofnight,
Mr.. NJ, for YOU to come home-pret-
ty time, three o'clock in the morning;
YOU. a respects bic man in the commun:-
ty. and the father Ola family"
"Tisn't three-it's only one; heard it
strike. Council always sits till one
o'clock"
My soul. Mr. M, you're drunk
AS true rs am alive; you're drunk.
It's three in the morning
Il say, Mrs. NJ it's one. heard
it strike one as come around the corner.
tUo or three times"
His spouse could say no more, SO she
retired.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18
NUMBER %.
Read advertisements.

Readers Of newspapers who habitually
omit to read the advertisements are un-
Willingly losing some OF the most interest
ing portions. II the paper is stupid the
chances are that the advertisements are
not more so; if it is bright, its advertising
columns probably possess real interest.
For in the first place, these columns are
filled by hundreds of writers, each pre-
senting in his own vein a subject of vital
interest to himself, and compelled TO seek
brevity and point; while the so-called
reading matter is prepared by a COM
paratively small number of men, who do
not always believe what they write, much
less feel keen susceptibility, and do not
always aim at brevity, but sometimes are
prolix. In the next place the advertise
ments really represent wider range of
human operations than does the ordinary
grade of news nothing could =" dad. =
tn he many kilograms. and nothing
brighter than many advertisements. For
ad,crliing has rcachedits proper placein
puJii- estimation of late years, and it IS
now made subject of earnest study.
Business men are beginning to under
stand tlat in advertising they are practis-
ing the art of salesman upon the whole
public instead of upon a single individual,
and they study the art accordingly. In
gennity is ,asked to devise bits of rhyme,
conundIums. odd coniunctions of the art
icle on hand with the latest matter ofpub-
lie interest, anecdotes ending with advice
to buy your hats OF Hit, tricks with types
aud seductive stories which beglIile the
reader iato an advertisers store. Hence
adver isements are n curious index ot hui
man character, being dull, verbose, pithy,
straightforward, polished, blunt, witty,
or the opposite, rs their writers happen
TO be, and in certain sense, advertisers
arc writers of essays for prizes, for, upon
the supposition that their business is con-
Quoted with average sagacity, those who
write the best will win the larg piile
of public patronage. The most brief
most pointed, and the otenest renewed
advertisements are the most readable and
the best paving, and the readers who
wo1l gthe. the best ..'r oi what j. 60
ire an mo-, mot oy...., 'h columns "'
,ma'' ltu. y I.E aaa
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

How TO PROTECT SQUASH FROM BUCs.
Take a piece of cotton batting and
saturate it with Kerosene, and place 1t
around your vines if they are large lay
the cotton on the vines in small pieces.
Wool or cloth will answer. BE careful
not to get the kerosene on the vines. DO
this and YOU will not be troubled with
bugs. NJ
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1869-06-18

That precautions arc necessary. in con-
nection with the bath room, is impressively
signified in the death of an American lady
of refinement and position, lately, after
taking bath, soon after dinner; of
Surgeon Hume, while alone, in warm
bath and Of an eminent New Yorker,
under similar circumstances, all within a
year. Halls Journal Of Health.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22

To Owners of Horses and Cattle,

Tobias Derby Condition Powders are warranted
superior to any others. or no pay. for the of
Disten.per. Worms. Bots, Coughs. Hide bound.
Colds. DO, in Horses. and Colds. Coughs. Loss of
Milk. Black Tongue, Horse Distemper, &c. in Cat
tie. rf lg5 - f." hda ts1 ~ '--'-' ~ - ~ '''
They are perfectly safe and Innocent need Of
stopping he working of your animimal. They in
crease the appetite. give a 6ne coat cleanse tha
stomach and urinary organs; also increase the
milk of cows. Try, them. and you will never be
without them. FJa e.f4 80 g =le=a4lts5 .
Col. Philip P. Bush, of the Jerome Race Course.
Fordharn. N Y, would not use them until he was
told of what they are composed, since which he is
never without them. He has over 90 running
horsesin his charge. and for the last three years
has used no other medicine for them. He has kind
~ permitted ME to refer any one to him. Over
200 other references N be seen at the depot
Sold by Druggists and Saddlers. Price 25 cents
per box. Depot. 10 Park Place New York.
junel6- d& wlycm-PeNYA ~
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
Chicago market-Jan. .aisow

FDOUR--Dull and holders are firm sat =
So 45@S IS for spring extras. He .oi 4sz rar
WHEAT-No 1 dull at 81 19H@1 20;
No active and firm at l@11zc higher;
sales at ST 1901 1411a; closing Him. Sales
since Change at $l'l514. 8I5gb saob rs5d
CORN-Moderately, active and Lc high
Eer; sales of new at 54@54116c; no grade SOC.
5lc; closing steady at 54c for new; sales
of Nc, 2 at 6296211ac. and No at6S96sH He, Z
sellers last halt of February. and new at =
5411ac, buyers this month. Nothing doing I
this afternoon. i. . ...--..4.f. 80,
OATS-Steady; sales of No at 47Z@
4S14c, and rejected at 45a a@4574c;i closing at Q
4Sc for No 2. "A 7rc. fia 20 siftI4i snfn 4adr
RYE-steady at 81 1901 1eK for No I; !
closing at ST 16. ~. - :. : *
BARLEY-Firmer and 111@2c higher; !
sales OF No at 81 69H@1 20; closing bath
$40. ies 1sdW zew sfi 4us gsim
DRESSED HOGS--Steady and active, at
$12 25@13 90; closing at S12 37116@12 rs.
/ LIVE 7HOGS--Dnll and dropping at
SO 50@10e40ior fair to. good, and $110ofor
extra prime, eH II =47IsI ei iafsrh51q
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
CITY ADVERTISEMENTS.
Paving Notice.
70 al soAon. u may concern 3.-

To all schons 1t may concern 90. eff's l
City CLERKS OFFIcE,l
COLUMBUS. o.. Dec. 81. 1868.
Notice Is hereby given. that proceedingshave been
instituted in the City Council of for max
ing the following improvements, to- wit: li7I
For building q double carriage way single span
bridge at the crossing of the canal on Friend
street. 80
Also, for grading and paving the unpaved side
walks cutters and crossings on Young street from
Broad street to state street. 5r7z 7f'
Also for building a double row flag stone pave
ment across Fair alley upon the south side Of Chap
ell street.
street from Fourth street TO Fifth street p !
The same to be done in accordance with pats and
estimates to be prepared by the City Civil Engin-
eer. and fled in the office of the City Clerk.
All persons claiming damages on account of said
claims in the Office Of the Clerk, in writing. CT
before the Fourth day of February, A; y; 1863.
'02lIit f'-' - ''- L. E. WILSON.
dec2s-d1tawlw City Clerk.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22

tried it, know that it cured them; those who have
not know that it cures their neighbors and frends
and all know that what it does once 1t does always
that it never through any fault or negiectof
its composition. We have thousands upon tnou.
sands of their remarkable cures OF the
following complaints, but such cures are known In
every neighborhood, and we need not pupnMSn M tnem.
Adapted to all ages and condltions IN an clhatesi
containing neither calomel or any deeterlous drug,
they may be taken with safety by anybody; Ihelr
sugar coating preserves them ever fresh and makes
them pleasant to take, while being purely vegetable
NO harm can arise from their use IN any quantity;
tney opera.e by eif s bnod and stiniatc T T.
into healthy acton-remove the Instructions of the
% %stoaol, t; ;,,Ia ale seton to baa,tb and
10 S,ant eheer e, sfhev exist smch Gerange
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22

To CONSUMERS OF CoAL.-Buy your coal
of Rock Run Coal Company. You will
find it of superior qualit, free from slate
or clinker. Eighty pounds to the bushel
is guaranteed, and it is sold at the lowest
market rates. Orders left at the office, 1877
North High street, or at the Company's
order box at the grocery store OF George
Mcdonald 6 Co., LOG South High street,
will be PROMPTLY attended to.
JAM MAT. WEAVER, Sec'y.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
SPECIAL NOTICES. 81. ur
STERLING SILVER WARE
AND

TIE GORHAM MAAUFAGTURTNG CO.. OF
PROVIDENCE. R. l.. baving the largest manu-
factory of Solid Silver Ware in the world. with
the most improved machinery. and employing the
most skiHeI labor. are enabled ito offer an .un-
equalled variety efsnew and beautiful designs in
Dinner Services, Tea Ser vices. and every article
specially ada pied for Holiday and Bridal Gifts.
They offer also their well-known and unrivalled
Nickel Silver Elec ro- Plated W are. in which they
have introduced new patterns of rare elegance
The Solid Silver is guaranteed to be of sterling
purity by U. 5. Mint assay. The Electro Plate is
guaranteed to be superior TO the finest Sheffield
ware. Orders received from the Trade only, but
these goods may be obtained from responsible
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
COMMERCIAL BANK.

TIRE com N ERCIAL BANK. located
i in Sessions B och" corner High and Long
Accounts of individuals and firms solicited and
satisfaction guaranteed INTEREST Allow
ON TIME DEPOSITS. Gold and Silver, Foreign
and Domestic Exchange. Government Bonds and
local securities bought and sold. Passage Tickets
to and from all the principal ports in Europe is
sued.
The above Bank will be open for the transaction
of business except paving checks, Wednesday and
Saturday evenings of each week, from to O'Clock.
decso eodIm J. A JEFFREY, Cashier
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
SO PER GENT. DEDUCTION.
N1aTICE To mEKCHANTN, BANK

NOTICE TO MERCHANIN, bHNh-
ers, Companies. s L LaSyeEs, Architects. Schools
CIersymen. Circulars, Prices Current. Letters.
Onnfations Catalogues Music. or snv documents or
drawings may Is obtained at the following extraor-
dinary cheap prices 100 copies, fac SMILES, Of
LOCO copies ss, SC; 100000 copies. s45o or so per
cent upon the above prices msy be saved by using
Marrice's Patent Autographic Printing Press, tor
Companies, &c. Price ESQ. A young boycan strike
off 100 copies. letter size, per hour, Of any docu
me t, drawing, music, with the greatest faaility-
Maurices Patent; States Rights sold atmoderate
prices; Public experiments each Saturday.,ris i
N. BAH kinds OF Lithographio work are, done
ices Patent Autographic and photographic Print
ing. Writing and Engraving Establishment, 10
NSTsh asoi7 Ms% as1ssnsTsa stTsss Neg fork I8 dW0
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
Tolede HIarket-Jan Il

WHEAT-Amber opened 1c lower and
closed &c better; sales at 81 67; white
Michigan 1c better; 81 u on spot and 81 49,
buyer, for FEBRUARY; atselose Ne, 2 spring Il
was 1c lower; sales at 81 80; No. 8 spring
unchanged at 81 Is.
erately active at s64c; rejected &c lowers
sales at 1890; latter in light request. sgs oa
OATS-Dull and nominally unchanged.
! RYE-Dull and unchanged.
BAREEY-No. State 81 1901 rs; west
ern Canada 50 95. u a,5o 90 Is9uboig sd,
/ HOGS-Dressed steady at 121k913e. fa5g
/ CLOVER SEEDlQuiet; offered at de-.
cline of &c without buyers. ''i''
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1869-01-22
MISCELLANEOUS.
EMOLuENT CREAM. I

This DELIGHTFUL AND ELEGANT
i preparation, intro tuced last winter, having
received so many 1fartering Concentrations from
those who used it.induces the propretors to bring
it again before the public, assuring them that it
stands as the best protector of the skin
against the lnciemeneys softhe winter season. IL
and beauty but also eonduces to its health purity
and presery alton For healing abrasions. Chap
ped Hands, Face, Lips, or Roughuess of the Skin.
it has no equal, while its Soothing qualities and
delightful fragrance render it necessary append
age to the toilet. Prepared only bys MARBLE q
RITS0N, Dispensing Chemists. 100 South High
street. Columbus. Ohio. g ,nov4-deod&w4m