The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1869-05-21

MAY ne er in wedIock give their hand
10 those who wore the blue.
A HOLE in mans proft-a large
rent.
TIE vessel no woman objects to en-
bark on--a court-ship.
"WHAT clever invention is the sew
ing machine said Jones. Yes, "Seao it
seams" replied Smith.
SOMEBODY says the Mississippi has
raised one foot. When it raises the
other it will probably run.
A TRUE philanthropist and we'll
trained horse always stop at the sound
of wo.
Why must an eruptive disease be an
advantage to a man in Jail? Because
he can't get it without breaEi'ag ont.
ANKLETs of gold and silver, to be
worn outside of the stockings, will soon
be noticed on the lovely damsels who
delight in leading the fashions. S.
'T DON'T like to patronise this line,"
said hardenedprog as the hangman
adjusted the moose to his neck. ''Nev-
er mind Just tbis once" answered the
hangman.
A GENTLEMAN wishing, not long since,
to 9spop the question" took up the young
lady's cat, and said, "pussy, may have
your mistress 2" 1t was answered by
The lady, "Say yes, pussy {"
lam persuaded that some men take
more pains to furnish themselves with
arguments to defend some ono error
they have have taken up, than they do
for the most saving truths of the Biblo /;
yea, they could sooner die at the stake
to defend one error they hold, than all
tho truths they profess.
A GIRL was forced into disagreed
bic match with an old man whom she
detested. When the clergyman came
to that part of the service where the
bride is asked if she consents to take
the bridegroom for her husband, she
said with great simplicity, ooh dear,
no, sir but you are the first person
who has asked my opinion about the
matter.
Two gentlemen, of opposite politics,
meeting. ono inquired the address Of
some political celebrity, when the other
Indignantly answered.
81 am proud to say, sir, that | am.
wholly ignorant Of it."
80! you are proud of your ignorance,
eh, sirs"
eyes, am" replied the bclligcrcnt
gentleman, sand what then, sir ~
90! nothing, sir, nothing; only you
have great deal. to be proud of, that's
all."
THE WRoNG IIEAvEN.-An Ameri-
can minister of fine descriptive power
was on one occasion, preaching about
heaven, and, to show the absurdity of
Emanuel Swedenburg on the subject,
drew. a graphic picture of the Sweden
borgiAn heaven, with its beautiful fields,
fine horses, cows, and pretty woman !;
and in the midst of his glowing desc,ip-
ton good old sister, carried away with
the scene, went into rapturcs and eX-
claimed, celery, glory, glory!" The
preacher was so disconnected that he
paused, seeming hardly to know what
next,ta do, tilllthe presiding elder.in the
stand behind him cried ont to the
shouter, "Hold on there, sister; you are
shouting over the wrong heaven
Nor GULTY.-A burIy-lookng fe-
male of unmistakable Celtic origin was
recently arragncd before magistrate in
New Orleans for some ordinary offence
While nature had munficcntIy endowed
her with health and physical strength
the question of good looks had been neg
lectcd in the haste with which she had
been prepared for the world.
"What are you up here for ~ inquir-
ed the magistrate.
''My beauty, reckon"
"Your what 7"
"My beauty -
ssAre you certain of that y
"Oh !! bedatl, there's no mistake ~
"Then discharge you; You amt
guilty" and the acquitted lady took
her departure,