The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-07-11

WHY 10 ge-racang necessity Be,
cause it 10 . matter OF COURSE
what beams often fall ON mems heads
without hurting them 2 Supbeams.
what sort of throat Is best for q singer
70 reach the high notes wtthi Asoar throat.
A friend of ours is 90 opposed to capital
nnnishment that he refuses 90 eat hung"
beef. sg 70 aa1es,
Where ought the milk of human kind
ness to be always found Within the pale
of the church.
True love is nonrished by showers of adj
verse fortune, as the roses and viOlets by
showers of vernal rain.
The man who was disturbed in mind took
a dose of yeast powders, and Immediately
rose above his troubles.
Auctions should be good places at which
to pick up matters, as everything IS ex-
pected to be knocked down.
sure, you will find it composed of one part
humbug and two parts pain.
The art of becoming of Importance in
the eyes of others, is not to IoFeffate our
selves, but to cause them to do it. ,
Why is the printing press like the for
hidden tree in Paradisef Because from it
springs the knowledge both of good and
evil.
It is said that bleeding a partially blind
To open a mans eyes you must bleed him
in the pocket.
"Won't that boa-eonstrictor bite met"
said a little urchin to Snowman. Oh
no, my boy, he never bites he swallers his
whites whole"
Why are young ladies, at the breaking
up of a party, like arrows Because they
can't go off without beaux, and are in q
CULVER until they get them.
"My DEAR said an affectionate spouse
to her husband, Gam not your only trea-'
. suref" "Yes,n was the cool reply, "and I
would willingly lay it up in heaven"
A witness being interrogated as to his
knowledge of the defendant in the case,
said he knew him intimately; 9. he had
supped with him, sailed with him, and
horsewhipped him."
al say,n said Yankee to an Irishman,
who was digging in his garden, care you
digging out a hole in that onion bed 2"
"No,n said Pat, g Pm digging out the dirt
and leaving the hole"
You have played the deuce with my
heart" remarked q young gentleman to a
Young lady, who was partner in game of
whist " Because you played the knaUe, !"
replied the lady, smiling
mea hao vds sn{ e Tnss did SGu Y
everything, heal anythingm "Well, I'll
take bottle; maybe it'll heel my boots
Iley nSeu Ii Udu
A gentleman of Rochester saw an adver-
tisement that cure for dyspepsia might be
had by sending a postage stamp to the ad-
vertiser. He sent his stamp, and the an
swer was, "Dig in your garden and let
whisky alone"
"The candles YOU sold me last were very
bad" said Suett to a ta1low chandler. " In
deed, sir, am very sorry for that" Yes,
sir do you know obey burnt to the middle
and would then burn no longer" =" You
surprise me; what, sir, did they go out ~
-"No, sir they burnt shorter"
A wealthy gentleman, who owns a coun-
try-seat, nearly lost his wife, who fell into
river which flows through his estate. He
announced the marrow escape to his friends,
expecting their congratulations. One of
them--an old baehelor-wrote as follows
az always told you that river was too shall
low"
A wealthy merchant, who had become a
bankrupt, was met, some time after his
misfortune, by a friend, who asked him
how he was getting on. "Pretty well, )" he
said, "I am upon my legs again." How
already Z" ayes; have been obliged to
part with my carriage and horses, and now
/ have to wall. y
The celebrated Winston, dining with
Lady JelIyll, sister of Lord Somers, was
asked by her ladyship why the Creator
made woman out of tue rib. After reflect
ing moment, the philosopher replied,
"Indeed, my lady, don't know, except it
was because the rib was the crookedest
bone in mans body"
An accepted sutton one day walking with
the object of his affections hanging upon
his arm, and describing the ardency of his
affection, said, Chow transported am to
have you hanging upon my arm" upon
my word" said the lady, lyon make us
out a very respectable couple, when one is
transported and the other hangingw
A knowing traveller out West, who had
chartered half bed at crowded hotel,
and was determined to have the best half,
buckled spur on his heel before turning
in. His unfortunate sleeping partner bore
the infection as long as he could, and at
last roared out, "Say, stranger, If you're a
gentleman, you ought to cut your tOe-nails."
An extraordinary instance of the power
of sleep on the animal economy occurred
the other day. A man, who was q great
sleeper, was thought by his family to be