St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1869-07-16

A little nonsense now ana then
l. relishrd Y the wi-ust men.

Domestic magazines - Wives who
blow up their husbands.
To keep your wife in constant check
Make her dress in bingham.
Motto for the shcritt-Render unto
>cizer the things that are seizers.
The man who was disturbed in mind
took dose OF yea,t-powdcr and immc-
diately rose above his troubles
won't that boa -constrctor bite me -
said Il little urchin to a Snowman. "Oh
40, boy, he never bites, he swall,r- h.
wltes whole"
Why are young ladies', at the breakinq
up of party, like arrows, Because
they can't 20 off without beaux, and
are in a culver until they ret them.
Mrs. Jenkins complained in the cyeuin-
that the turkey she had for Thank>giy-
ing lid not set well. .'Probably." said
Jenkins, 1t was not a hen turkey"
Coleridge, the poet and philosopher.
arriving at an inn, called out '.Waitcr.
10 you dine here collectively or individ-
ualIy - ''Sir," replied the knight OF
the napkin, I'VE dimes ut >iN"
BE careful of your health. .ir-. Don't
mind being " old fogy" because You
wrap yourselves up we'll and never ven
turc ont in thin shoes, Better be Al old
iogy than 4 voung corpse.
An octo.cnarian SAYS: " wa bora
at the wrong time. Wien | was vuun2
man. Young men were of no account.
Now am Old find old men are OF no
account"
The following Is an exact copy ola
promisSory note dated at Concord, No
vember 18th, l793 For an old horse
which | have bought Of Mr. Isaac Dow.
| promise TO pay him - in wheat, or
flour at cash price; but il the horse does
not live, TO get to Lebanon. and three
days after he gets there, am to 9iv- but
- tor the horse. Witness my hand"
Young Lady--'Oh, am 50 clad
YOU like binds which kind do you aG-
mirc most !''
Old Squab.-.'Well, think tie goo-c.
with plenty Of stufling, Is about a GOOD
as any
Two physicians at the bedside OF a
patient disputed as to the nature Of the
disease. At last one OF them ended the
discussion by saying: every well, have
it your own way now, but the post-mpr-
TEN will show that | am right." The
patient was not much encouraged.
An Irish juror having applied to the
iud9c to be excused from .crvimg on ac-
count of deafness, the Judge said Could
you hear my charge to the jury, sir '''
- Yes, heard your honors char1e,"
said Paddy, ''but | couldn't make any
sense out Of it." He was let Oft
The servant of an army officer one day
met a crouy, who inquired OF him how hr
got along with his fiery master. "Oh rx-
cellently , answered the servant, "'wc live
on very friendly terms every morning
we beat each others coats the only dit
ference is he takes his oil to be beaten,
and keep mine on
An Arkansas judge OF the old times,
who had an office i'll common with
physician was at his table, busy with
briefs and bills in chancery. The doc
tor was writing a letter, and pausing for
u moment, called out ".Iudec, isn't
c-q-u-i the way 10 spell cquinomical ~
Yes, | think it is, SAID tue judge; .sbut
here's Webster's Dictonary-I can soon
tell you" He opened the book and
turned over the leaves, repeating aloud,
E-qui- qui-nomical-c-qui-nomical." Find
my the proper place, he ran his eye and
finger up and down the column two or
three times, until he was thoroughly sat
istied the word was not there. Clusin.
the book with Il slam, the Judge laid h.s
spectacles on the table, and rising slow
ly, broke forth ''Well, sir, Eve ALWAYS
been Daniel Webster man, and vot-
ed for him for President; but any per
son that will write Is big a dictionary ;.s
that, and not put as common a word as
e-qul-nomical i'll it, can't get my vote
again not once,