Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-11-18
A DAY AT NIAGARA.
Concerning the Falls -The Tam
ruI- ed Hackman,
By MARK TWAIN.

concerning the Falls g-Th6 Tam
.r.uI- ed Hackman.
.s#IHs
BY MARK TWAIN.
Niagra Falls is one Of the finest
structures in the known world. |
have been visiting this favorite wa
tering place recently, for the first
time, and vas wellpleased. A gem
tleman who was with me said 1t
was customary to be disappointed
in the Falls, but that subsequent
visits were sure 10 set that all
right. He said 1t was 90 with
him. He said that the first time he
went the hack fares were so much
higher than the Falls that the Falls
appeared insignificant. But that is
all regulated now. The hackmeh
have been tanned, and numbered,
and placarded, and blackguarded,
and brought into subjection to the
lawi and dosed with moral Princi-
pie till they are as tieek as mis-
sionaries. They are divided into
two clans, now, the Regular and
Priyateers, and they employ their
idle time in Warming the public
against each other. The Regulars
are under the hotel banners, and do
the legitimate at two dollars an
hour, and the Pritateers pro#l
darkly on neutral ground and pick
up stragglers at half price. But
there are no more otitrages and
extortions. That sort of thing
cured itself 1t made the Falls un-
popular by getting into the news
papers, and whenever q public evil
achieves that sort of sttctess for
itself, its days are numbered. 1t
became apparent that either the
Falls had to be discontinued or the
hackmen had to subside. They
could not dam the Falls, and so
they damned the hackmen. One
can be comfortable ind happy there
iioW!
SIGNS AND sYMboLs.
I drank up most of the American
Falls before / learned that the wa
tiers were not considered medici-
nal. Why are people left in igno-
rancejn that wayp l might have
gone On and ruined fine property
merely for the want of little tri-
fling information. And yet the
sources Of information at Niagra
Falls hre not meagre. You are
sometimes in doubt there about
what you ottght to do, but you are
seldom in dodbt about what you
must not do No--the signs keep
you posted. If all infant can read,
that infant is measurably safe at
Niagara Falls, In your room at the
hotel you will find your course
marked out for you in the most
convenient way by means of pla-
cards on the wall, like these:
"Pull the bell-rope gentlyj but
don't jerk"
"Bolt yoltr door"
"Don't scratch matches on the
wall"
Turn off your gas When you re-
tire"
"Tie Up your dog"
IF you place your boots outside
the door they will be blacked but
the house will not be responsible
for their return" This is a eontu.
sing and tanglesothe proposition
because it moves you to deliberate
long and painfully as to whether it
will really be any object to you to
have your boots BACKED unless
they are returned.
"GiVe Your key to the Omnibus
driver ifyou forget and carry it off
with YOU"
Outside the hotel, wherever you
may wanderj you are intelligently
assisted by the signs. You can
not come to grief as long as you
are in your right mind. But the
difficulty is to stay in your right
mind with so much instruction to
keep track of. For instaneei
Keep off the grass"
i"Don't climb the trees"
"Hands off the vegetables"
"Do not hitch your horse to
the shrubbery."
"Visit the Caves Of the Winds"
"HaVe your portrait taken in
your carriage"
"Forty per cent. in gold levied
on all pea nuts or other Indian
Curiosities purchased in Canada"
photographs Of the Falls taken
here"
"visitors will please notify the
Superintendent Of any neglect on
the part of employees to charge for
commodities of services" mo in
attention of this kind observed. | |
"Don't throw stones down-they
may hit psoDlg below"
"The proprietor viii not be re.
sponsible parties who jump over
the Falls" More shrieking Of
responsible--it appears to be the
prevailing thing here!
always had a high regard for
the signers of the Declaration of
rJn,,o,, Il Ayyoa, bnA raN- tkhr- In !