The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1869-04-02
An Alarmed BrIdegroom.

m AAhTW6u o14u6SIOUu'
It cannot be disguised that marriage is
an alarming episode in a mans life. Many
brave fellow who would face a battery
without finching, and smile amidst the
deadliest hail of mercury, finds his heart
forsaking him in that magic moment when
he changes from gay young bachelor In
to a sober Benedict. A friend of the re-
porter has just passed through the ordeal
and this is what befell him {:
The ceremony was over, and the dane
ing was done. The company had retired
and the bride had sought her chamber
The young man had been model boy from
his youth upward. He had learned great
many things, but having no sisters, had
never learned the mysteries of a lady's
toilet. Like Japanese Tommy, he thought
the amplitude of skirt was designed to pro-
tect large dominions, and often wondered to
himself why the rosy faced creatures were
not formed after the fashion of men. Still
the bewitching face had power to allue him
and he was willing to accept it in atone
ment for what he supposed to be singular
discrepancy in nature.
Ascending the stairs to the chamber, he
opened The door and peeped cautiously in.
The gas burned dimly andweired shadows
played around the room. With a silent
prayer for safety be entered ar closed the
door. On his left the bed was shrouded
in many fold of lace, but through the
bar he perceived on the fan side, outlined
beneath the covering, form beautiful N
its symmetry. On his right rose a huge
pyramid of skirts and snowy linen, crown
ed by throng of slender bars fashioned
like bell, and, to the uninitiated observer,
resembling the old wire cage set every
evening in the pantry as snare for YER
min.
"What the mischief's that ?" he thought;
but said nothing, restraining his curiosity
and proceeding to disrobe. It must =
confessed, however, that his fears ives
least bit excited, and the perspiFatil =
gan to bead his forehead. Approa
the toile able to lay down his cza5
hand struck upon the lower half
man jaw7B semi-circle Of grinnfn
staring him in the face. He started
in terror, but said nothing. only the sisnple
ejaculation: "The devil u But It wasnsf
only false teeth nevertheless, the
chills ran over him, he was steadyina
hand to unpin his collar, when his ey
countered two half globes of some whil
linin substance, resting on the toilet table }
and great braid of hair, hanked by a
hugse coil behind them. He started back
surprised, bewildered but, as he did SO,
his feet struck against pair of flesh col
ored tights. suspended from a chair, and
with their patent calves and pandding look
ing like veritable legs.
| Astonishment held him spell bound II
all these were merely the adjuncts, what in
| the pane of heaven had lie married
He was turning to the bed to inquire,
when he stumbled over the hump of Gre
clan Bend, and falling, struck little stand,
| knocking from it a tumbler of water, out
of which rolled glass eye.
''My God ~ he frantically calculated,
''is there nothing left of her % and spring
ing to his feet be bounded through the
door, calling for the bridesmaids to come
and pat has a0ife together again. His cries
for help soon brought the household around
him, to whom he detailed his grievances.
The assurance that everything was right
| finally pacifed him, and, after much per
suasion, he went back to the mysterious
chamber, and, by this time has probably
become familiar with a fashionable toilet
-New Orleans Picayune.