The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1869-02-25
The Location OF Tophet,

All the people Of the world have 4 Belief in
some place of terrible punishment It is vari-
ously designated by various people. The an
clients had such terms as Tartarus, Hades, Plu-
to, Avernus. 1t is recorded that Mr.. Orpheus
whose spouse got into this unhappy locality,
executed so fine q solo on his Jews harp, that
the guardian let him in, to seek for her. His
first enquiry was " Where in h-ll is my wife p
"a phrase that has been handed down to this
day, and is in frequent use by perplexcd hus-
bands.
The Jews called the place Gehenna, or Ge-
henna Of fre--and tolerable idea of it NAV be
got from the parable Of Dives and Lazarus
The Hebrews called the place Of punishment
Sheol, which is the original Of the word hell in
most instances in the Old Testament-although
some translators hold that its literal meaning
Is the grave or place of rest. Still, we think
1t undeniable that the language of the New
Testament, as 1t stands, indicates place where
considerable discomfort may be experienced In
consequence of the high range of the Their
mometer. 1t Is curious fact that the notion
OF Tophet entertained by people always EN-.
bodies the discomfort from which they have
suffered most. The notion of a burning he'll
comes from the hot countries of Asia. The
Esquimeaux, that cluster about the North Pole
thinks that hell is place where 1t is colder
their lives In chasing seals that they ne yer over
take.
In these latter days every individual and call
ing has special Gehenna. The lawyer finds
it when an Important witness I" goes back" on
him; the Doctor, when patient dies that has
no business to; the politician, who, like our
unfortunate neighbor of the Prog. Age, goes
for Morrill, and loses, when he should have
gone for Hamlin and won; and we suppose
that Capt. Sylvester would declare that to be
cast ashore on the isle of Shoals, on winter S
night, with no clothing but shirt and trowsers,
Is tophet enough fer him.
We have discovered what the hell of a news
paper man is. Most OF the bells are located
somewhat vaguely down in the bowels Of the
earth Ours Is above Like the torment of
the other bells. 1t never ceases, day or night.
A VELOCIPEDE RIDING SCHOOL IS
KEPT IN THE HALL OVER OUR HEAD .
The wooden donkeys rumble like young
earthquakes. The building trembIes to the
foundation. The gas fixtures rattle. The
window sashes dance. The plastering is bulg-
ed down. Our hair Is full of sand and lime.
The donkeys Of flesh that ride the donkeys of
wood, tumble off, and everything shakes again.
Greenhorns come fumbling at our doors, en-
quiring SIS this the Vee-losh- eye peedee
SCHOOL," Our suferings ~ intoerable. We
have thought Of hying-but whittier? If we
go to "Greenland's icy mountain or India $
coral strand"--there will be some jackanapes
trying to wheel themselves in barrows, or solv-
ing the problem Of man lifting himself by the
seat Of his trowsers. The philosophical poet
says
When all The Establishments of life are gone,
The coward sneaks to death-the brave live on"
So, like Stanton we shall stick. 1.-THE build
ing comes down, and our cold remains are
found anon, the ruins, let our friends remem-
Der that we died at the post of duty. Let no
one who ever rode velocipede come to the
funeral. On the slab that marks our last rest
ing place, let this be engraved
Z" He LIVED IN HI. TWO WEEKS, AND DIED
OF THE D----p vELoCIrEDEs."
p. S. Since the above was written, the We
locipedonkeys have been transferred from the
regular teachers to set Of horrible amateurs
The former proprietors kept something like
order-but now there is perpetual riot, sort
Of free fight for the chances to ride, going on.
Our comfort is proportionably increased.