Buchanan County bulletin and guardian., 1869-02-12


these he never allows to get overdue.
Some poet saws the wind kisses the waves.
That, VIC suppose, is the celebrated "ki-s
for biow," Of which we have heard sS
much.
A clergyman, after marrying . couple,
made a prayer over them, concluding, "For-
give then, Lord, they know nos what they
do"
A young physician, asking permission Of
a lady to kiss her, she replied: "No, sir, !
never like to have a doctors bill thrust iw
my face
Mother" said li,,le boy tie ether day,
why are orphans the hapries, children on
earthF' "Ihey are not; why do you ask p
Because they have no mothers TO whip
them"
Have you seen my black-faced snte-
lopeT' inquired Mr.. Leoscope, who had
collection Of animals, Of his friend Bottles
jack. No, l havn't. Whom did your
black>faced aunt elope with r.
Remember who you are talking TO, sir!"
said an indignant paren. 10 q fractions boy
I'll am your father, srl" "Well who's 10
blame for that" said young inpcrtinence,
"taint me y
A dead beat Who was kicked out Of a sn>
loon, has mild way Of putting things. He
said he was proceeded against"
A hint 10 ladies How to prevent gray
hairs-Kecp your head shav.d. Warranted
not 10 fail.
"Msther," said little poet of four suns
mers, s'listen to the trees making music fox
the leaves ~ 6asee by
Can women ride byeiclo velocipeirs
They can. Kate Putnam, the actress, well
known here, is doing it at Davenport, Iowa,
but III riding the bicicular steed she wear,
bilegular garments. Detroit Tribune
A lady noticed boy sprinkliug sal, on
the sidewalk, TO take OF the ICE, and r.
marked 70 friend, pointing to the salt,
Now. that is true benevolence." NO il
amt said the boy, .'it's SALT
1t is undeniabls that in America it takes
three to make a pair-he, she, and h.rei
girl. Had Adam been model husband.
there would have been . hired girl in Para.
disc, to look after little Abe. and .'ra,se
CAIN
A lecturer lately, when talking Of the first
settlers Of Virginia, ard Of its peculiar his
tory to the present tine, face,iously re.
marked, at the close of his address, that the
last settler Of Virginia was General Giant.
"whas's that?" asked schoolmaster,
pointing to the letter X. "It's daddy.
name" No, you blockhead, its x
" Taint < nufher, is's daddyis name, for
seed him write it many time
Sometimes girl says no to an offer, when
Il 70 plain a. the nose on her face she means
yes. The best way to Judge whether she is
In earnest or not, is to look straight into her
eyes and never mind her "noes.s
A maiden lady, while m company the 9th
er evening, alluding tn her youthful smar-.
ness, said that at six months old she went
alone. A malicious wag present remarked,
Yes, and you have been going alone ever
SINCE"
Two young ladies and an rrishman were
convcrnng on age, When one Of them put
the home question: (Which Of Us do you
think is the elder, Mr.. II. ?, ..Sur.,- re-
Piled the gallant Hibernian, 'syou both hook
younger than each other"
General Rawlings recently dined with a
man who p~rtook Of wine rather freely, and
became taIkative. Finally the latter said,
speaking Of somebody: sOh, thar mine en-
envy would write bookr' 4sYour eneny.r
said Rawlings, pointing to the bottle, 'doat
write books."
A poetical contributor sends rs produc>
ton. and nairsly adds: Did burns ever
rite anything like this r. According 20 tLe
best of our knowledge and ability be dill not,
|-Zanssrills Signal.
A man in Lynn, Mass, il Is said, made 40
ma nv pairS nf ahoos =. c... H. eL.s q L
him two days to count them. he WAS =
smart one, but not equal 10 one n New
Hampshire, who built 20 many miles of stone
wall 10 one day that il took him al shat night
and most all the next day TO go home.
THE FoRcE or Hanna conductor on
the Eastern Railroad Who lives st Glouces.
ter, Mass, was recently awakened from a
sound sleep in church, and, With his secular
twang, called out" Beverly change ears
for Gloucester, Manchester, and Beverly
Farms! !" The effect upon the congregation
may be imagined.
Sig Walter Scott one day met an Irish beg.
gar in the street, who asked him for . six.
pence. Sin Walter conld not knd daon-, AID
so gave him shilling, saying, with . augh:
But mind, now, you owe me sixpence.
Och, sure enough r. said the begyar; saud
God grant that ycn may live till pay it,"
The following i kvorite song with ex,
Confederatess
Al wsnt TO be rebel,
Aud with the rebels stand
Be amnestied BY Andy,
And get back all my land"
.AwT exclaimed an English cocancy to
> Western traveller in England, "speaking>
av Of the law Of Frimogeniture, ave you hen.
tail In Amerwica r. Hentailr' said the
American, looking At his interrogator with
curiosity; "no, sir, We have the cocktail in
America, and very popular drink il is."
A youth who was being rcprimsnded for
playing marbles on Sunday, was asked, DO
you know where those little boys 70 vho
play marbles on Sunday?" He had not
been sufficiently taught in regard to future