The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-04-23
9Btit au& Dutttur.

N1t attn Dlttttnr.
An agreeable nec-tie-A pretty
girls arm.
Farmers are like fowls-neither
will get full crops without industry. |
Tile Memphis Sun calls very |
black negro "yivified but-end OF uid-
night"
How to ride ocipede-Strad- |
die the saddle, then paddle and skedad-
die.
The bachelor has to look out for
number one, but married man for num-
Der two.
I'll see though it," as Betsy Per
kins said when the bottom OF her tub
fell out.
Why is dogs tail like the heart
of a tree? Because it is farthest from
the bark.
= ssDis cord am HORRIBLE" as the
musical niger said when he was about
to be hung.
- How to get at the real complex
ion of ladies-take a little soap and
water.
A shoemaker has one great adj
vantage over most kinds of mechanics,
his goods, when finished, are always
SOLD.
- Prentice says he tries to be i'm
partial. but for all that he is unable to
look at the negroes except on the dark
side.
Wine and woman are the curse
of man. 4 Men and wine are the curse OF
woman. We are cursed set all round.
a fellow sends us San Ode to
the Printer" We can't use tive are
otced 200 much already.
love. the toothache, a cough, and
tight boots, are things that cannot be
long kept a secret.
Many of our subscribers would
make good wheel horses-they hold
back so well.-
Butler SAYS che never takes
things back" This is discouraging to
the people of New Orleans who lost
spoons.
- Why stand yc here all the day
lido! p was s.he way Bemus saluted a
wooden god when he visited akhinese
city.
At printers festival, recently,
the following toast was offered: "Wo-
man, second only to the press in the
dissemination of news"
Daddy, why is neighbor Smiths
liouor shop like a counterfeit dollar?"
- cannot tell my SOM "Because you
can'tpass it," said the boy.
WHY are ladies like watches |?
Because they have beautiful faces, DEL
icate hands, are mole admired when
full ieweled, and need regulating very
often"
of; Il 10
described by st. Paul, Minnesota, pa
per. in the case of man found on the
street with climbs OF ungovernable
fiexibility."
- The New York Reuohttion news.
paper declars its mission to be 'to turn
everything inside out, upside down,
wrong side before.
- The editor of the Chambersburg
Spirit, Is the happy possessor OF
velocipede, with which he intends going
for his delinquent patrons.
A very absent-minded gentle
man being upset by boat into the
river sank twice before he remembered
he could swim.
The editor of the Tyrone Heralb
has disposed of his domicile for $500.
"Fancy the phelinks" Of an editor with
that amount of" spinners.'
When man accuses the side
walk of irving to throw him into the
street ane wet his clothes, he may be
suspected of having previously wet his
own whistle.
MIR. Muggins saws there is nc
country in the world where wives are
more wurshipped than in France. Ht
regrets, however, that all the admlra
tion comes from somebody else's hus
band.
- 81 resort to wine to stimulate my
wits" said young spenthrft to an ole
one. "A ! replied the veteran, that u
the way began; but now | have to re-
sort to my wits to get my wine.'
A preacher in New Hampshire
Aiscoursing on the subject of Daniel ii
the Lions den, said: "And thar he so
all night loug lookin' at the show TO
nothin', and it didn't cost him cent.
"A pious old lady was ask why
she named her dog Moreover. why
SAID she putting on her specaacies t.
find the place in her Bible, sit Is
Bible, name-here: Moreover the do!
came and licked his sores"
- A lady at Boston, WHO was abou
TO give party to the members of tn
Protestant Episcopal Convention, sen
for Mr.. S. caterer, to assist Il
the preparations. He asked if she inten
ded to give dancing party. She replle
that it was to be mainly composed g
clergymen. I'm that case madam, sal
he II would advise you to provid
beautifully. Them pious people ca
dreadfully"
"A little girl attending a part
was asked by her mother how she eu
loved herself. -"Oh," said she, 81 al
full of happiness; couldn't be no hap
pier unless l could grow"
Some one:said ola very handsom
woman whose feet were immense
"She's very pretty, but she upsets CON
pletely the ordinary system of mearur
ment, by proving that two feet make
yard"
"A negro was driving a mule ]
Jamaica, when the animal SUDDEN
stopped, and efused to bulge. "Won
vuo 90, eh ?'' said the boy. "Feel grant
DO you s'pose you forgot your faddt
vas a jackass?"