The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-07-22

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l tts'r " AlAluo IL 6CfdCCE----
/ a"Or go yourself. and see how it feels to b
eaten. | wont stop you. You've got my
/ permission, you understand. But 7 pity the
miserable pagan that stufs himself with you
You won't agree with him. You never die
with me, my love"
"Mr. Wilkins, you are a brute"
! "But for my part I think you had better
stay at home and attend to your children, in
steadof fooling down at that society with :
I lot Of tabbies, who SANDER their neighbors
and make more mischief than they do under
clothes for the naked Hottentots.
"Mr. Wilkins, that's not 50"
"You'd better stay at home and sew fol
i your family, that's what you'd better do
There's William Henry been going round fol
tsix weeks or more with only one gallus or
his pants, and looking like he was deformed
cripple, with one shoulder a foot higher than
the other, while his stockings have no feet
and the upper part Of them keep a working
!. up his leg until the boy nearly goes mad"
"What an awful story, Wilkins"
"And Bucephalus Alexanders best Sun
day jacket has burst out all over in spots, and
Breckenridge Augustus, having run out Of
handkerchief, has lately been practising wip-
ing his nose on his sleeve in church, until /
was so mortified that had to take him out
| last Sunday and have him stood in the coal
hole and spanked like the M lion by the sex
ton. Unaffected simplicity is all we'll enough
in its way, but that's carrying it little too
far
"Mr. Wilkins, you know that's not true y
| "And, as for Mary Jane, she is just going
! straight to destruction. She's got to imita-
ting your example and now she thinks it ain t
worth while to live if you can't do something
for the heather. So what does she do yes
terday but go and give my best high hat to
the boy who swept the chimney, and it came
nearly down to his waist, land she asked him
| if he had ever read DR.. McPherson's treatise
| on the "Whole Duty of Man. and he OBJ.
served that he 'didn't know muffin about dat
dar, he reckon" and while she went up stairs
| to get it for him he embezz!ed two chunks Of
corned beef and cold potatoe, and the first
thing you know he will be in the penitentiary,
and all along of your blame foolishness."
RI declare, Mr.. Wilkins, you are scand-
alous story-teller." 9t5 8at
"And there's the boys, it was on only last
Saturday that they took their crowd up stairs,
and played that the garrett was Africa, and
half of them represented heather, and ran
around without stitch Of clothes on them,
and Bucephafus Alexander he distributed my
clean shirts among them, and all upset all the
barrels, fred away all my old books in a
skirmish with the savages, and one Of them,
who was a cannibal, like to gnawcd the whole
thumb off Of VIM. Henry, trying to swallow
him, because he said he was missionary, and
it amt well yet" m
'FPshaw, Mr.. Wilkins, you talk like a-'
"And, then, what must Mary Jane do, but
try to represent heather mother; wholly
unenlightened by Christianity, trying to
drown her infant in the sacred river. which
she represented by sousing the cat in the
bath-tub, but that animal wouldn't play fair,
and liked to scratch the whole hide off o.
her, while she let the water run until the
room was full, and it poured a perfect cas-
cade out of the window, which she said was
to represent the overfowing Of the Nile, like
she read about in her Sunday school lesson.
say it's perfectly outrageous to bring up
your children in that kind of style. If you
love the heather, why 60 among them, but
don't go to poisoning the minds Of your off
spring" 1gta2
"As long as you have made such fuss
about the sewing circle, Mr. Wilkins, I'll tell
you what I've been making there" i
"You needn't mind, | don't want to hear
it. I'm tired of hearing you talk Just
givem chance to speak a word now, will
you"
s:But--"
80 don't but me; won't listen 10 you"
II wasn't sewing for the heathen."
II didn't stick stitch for a heather at the
sewing circle"
swell, what in the mischief were you
fooling your time away down there for. then ?"
Why-I-was- making you--a-doz-
n-new-shirts-wh ilc--yot1-- were-abus-
me-you'll break my heart-ycs, you
will"
"There, now, don't cry, my darling. Don't
cry, was only in fun | was joking, you
understand. didn't mean it. There now.
Don't cry, say, Sally. Well, below then,
below. You may cry until you are tired
I never did see such woman as you.
And Mr. Wilkins took pull at the COW
ers, turned over, and went to sleep. But he
seemed to be rcconciled to her next day, for
he called her several hard names because she
left the baby covered up on the sofa, SO that
he inadvertently sat down on it.
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