Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-07-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A WOODEN wedding-Marrying block
head.
THE ties that connect business men with
the public c-Adver-tize.
DENTIsT-One who finds work for his
own teeth by taking out those of other
people.
A SUFFERER advises persons going over
the Union Pacific Railroad to take their
cold victuals with them.
1T is proposed to get up grand fair in
Cincinnati to exhibit the manufactures of
the Mississippi Valley.
On his deathbed distinguished humor-
ist requested that no one be invited to his
funeral Because" sighed the dying
wag, "it's civility can never repay"
A PARTY of Germans were fishing near
Lafayette, Ind, when one of them caught
large pike. The hook being fastened
down its throat, one of them put in his
thumb to get it out, when the fish bit the
thumb of.
A NEW BEDFORD juror, who left his
horse tied to tree on going to court on a
recent Tuesday morning, suddenly recol
lected the fact on the next Thursday after
noon, and hastily applied to the Court for
permission to 60 and look after his wei
fare.
SIR HENRY RowLINsoN, the distin-
guished arcb4ologist, maintains that Baby
Ion is the site of the Garden of Eden, and
that the Babylonion documents now ex-
tant give an exact geographical descrip-
ton of the scene of mans first disobe
dience"
HENRY WARD BEECHER invites Bonner
to come out and take an interest in his
farm. He says he has thirty.six acres Of
land, which is too much for himself alone.
"We will carry it on jointly" he tells
Bonner; will lay out and superintend
the work, and you shall pay the bills
A FRENCH duellist coming home from
his last meeting gave two Napoleons to the
coachman. Many thanks; it is pleas
ure to drive you out |" IL beg your par
don, it is not for driving me out that I
give you those two louis, it is for driving
me home again"
ONCE WEEK reminds the world that
this is the centenary of the steam en- gine.
A patent was granted to Watt in April,
1869. 1t is also the centenary of Hum
boldt, Cuvier, the first Brunei, Yelling
ton, Soult and Ney, and the hundredth
year since a patent was granted to the
spinning jenny.
DIR. TURNER, in one of the reports of
the Inebriate Asylum, speaks of three
children which were born to habitually
inebriate parents, and were all three idiots.
Afterwards these parents reformed, and
lived temperately. several years, during
which period of temperance two more
children were born, and were active and
init EirroV VlxY thn nfo IN,
fell into inebriety, and had two more chill
dren, both idiots. ..
A NEW HAMPSHIRE farmer, who had
an invariably good-natured wife, longed
to hear her scold for a change, and was
advised that a load of crotchety tirewood
would make her very desirably cross.
He tried it. When the pile was gone he
asked if he should get such another sup
ply. cob! yes" said she. for that
crooked wood you brought before does lie
around the pot so nicely"
A CLEVER old dame, who resides
short distance from New York city, was
recently astonished by her husband, who
came in hurriedly with the remark II
have got present for your GA present
for me-" says she; "what is it?" CA
tooth brush" responded the old gent.
"What good will that do me-you know
have not got tooth in my head!" re-
torted his spouse. "Just the thing" re-
piled the venerable joker, there amt a
bristle in it,"
THE New Orleans Picayune relates
this book auction scene: "Gentlemen,"
cried an auctioneer at book auction, last
evening, "I offer you"-scanning the title
very closely" Shakspeare's works how
much to start them?" "Who are they
by ?" inquired wag in the crowd "rll
tell you in moment" was the reply, but
before he could refer, shout of laughter
from the bystanders convinced him of his
blunder.
A GERMAN chemist has discovered that
if morphia, which is sometimes used effec-
tually to sl,ay vomiting, be heated with
hydro-chioric acid, it will become the
most powerful emetic known. The effect
is produced by introducing small guam
tity under the skin, and sometimes by
spilling it on the skin, but the vomiting
soon subsidies and leaves no nausea. The
discoverer calls the new agent ememor-
phia.
A CORRESPONDENT of the London 1eIe'
graph thinks nobody knows how to cook
cOutc Uut tuc udtiNcS VI OCylou1 hnu tOlio
us how they do it. He says: "They
take the quantity of coffee beans required,
roast them in an earthen chasty or saucer
shaped pot, pound them in pestle and
mortar, or bruise them between two
stones then pass through sieve COM
posed of coarse muslin; boiling water is
added, and the coffee is made"
A BANKRUPT merchant, returning home
one night, said to his noble wife: My
dear, am ruined; everything we have is
in the hands of the sheriff" After a few
moments of silence, the wife looked calmly
into his face and said: "Will the
sheriff sell your" "Oh no." "Will the
sheriff sell me?" ooh no" "Will he
sell our our children }" 6" Oh, no." a. Then
do not say that we have lost everything.
All that is most valuable remains to US -
manhood, womanhood, and childhood.
We have lost but the results of skill and
industry. We can make another fortune,
if our hearts and hands are left u.s." Can
we wonder that, encouraged by such q
noble wife, he is now on the road to for
tune?
A CURIOUS discovery has recently been