Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1869-10-15
Christopher Columbo.

Christopher Columbo.
We extract the following from Mark
Twain's New Pilgrims Progress" just
out. The party amused Themselves and
nearly drove the guide crazy, at Genoa,
by pretending utter stupidity and indif-
ference to any wonders he had to show.
After this style:
"The guides in Genoa are delighted to
secure an American party, because Am
ericans so much wonder, and deal so
much in emotion before any relic Of Co
lumbus. Our guide there fidgeted about
as if he had swallowed spring mattress
He said
"Come wis me, gentlemen Come l
show you re letter writing by Christopher
Columbo write it himself! write it wis
his own hand come!
He took us to the municipal palace.
After much impressive fumbling of keys
and opening Of locks, the stained and
aged document was spread before us. The
guides eyes sparkled. He danced about
us and touched the parchment with his
finger
What tell you gentlemen Is it
not so? See handwriting of Christopher
Columbo write it himself"
ave looked ndifierent-unconcer
The doctor examined the document very
deliberately during a painful pause.
Then he said without any show of inter-
est:
"Ah-Ferguson-what-what did you
say was the name of the party who wrote
this letter? +"
Christopher Columbo! re great
Christopher Columbo!"
| Another deliberate examination.
He writ it himself! Christopher Co.
Jumbo hes own handwriting written
by himseltl"
Why, have seen boys in America,
only fourteen years old, thai could write
better than that
Bat zis is re great Christie"
81 don't care who it is its the worst
writing | ever saw. Now, you must not
think you can impose on US because We
are strangers. We are no fools by a
good deal. If you have got any speci.
mems of penmanship of real merit, trot
them out and if you haven't drive
on! I"
"We drove on. The guide was con
siderably shaken up, but he made one
more venture. He had something which
he thought would quite overcome us. HI
said:
All, gentlemen, you come wis me
l show you beautiful. Oh magnifcen
bust. Christopher Columbo splendid
: grand, magnificent!
He brought us before the beautiful
t bust-for it acas beautiful spranl
| back and struck an attitude:
! "Ah, look, gentlemen beautiful
: grand bust-Christopher Columbo !
d beautiful bust, beautiful pedestal !"
t "The doctor put up his eyeglass-prc
: cured for such occasion:
$ "Ah, what did you say this gentle
mans name was ?"
Christopher Columbo-ze great Chri:
e topher Columbo +"
+, christopher Columbo-the grea
y Christopher Columbo."
e "Well, what did he do?
IS Discover America discover Amer
6 ca I! Oh re devil!
l. Discover America. Now that STATE
1t ment will hardly wash. We are ju:
e from America ourselves. We hear
d nothing aboutit. Christopher -pleasar
II name-is-is he dead ?"
L "Oh, corpo di Bacho. Three hundre
e years! !"
l. "What did he die Off"
l. 81 do not knowl l cannot tell"
IS Small pox, think ?"
d "I do not know genteelmen do M
E. know qCbat he died of
IS Measles, likely?"
j, "May be-may bel do not know
y l think he died of something"
lie parents livingg"
IA impossible
/
to Ah-which is the bust and which
c, the pedestal ?"
e. Santa Maria ?-zis re bust i-zis
a pedestal!"
i "Ah, 1 see-happy combination-ve
of happy combination, indeed. Is this Il
ut first time this gentleman was ever on
lg bust?"