The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1869-06-08
THE aoRdEOUs CH4aDEER.
his descent on Europe.

This American statesman, known, al
times as the great Mich-i. gander, and
at Others, irreverently, as Old Putty
face, goes to Europe. Our exchanges
come 10 us laden with the note of pre-
parations. The statesman goes in state.
It is well that he does. 1t would not be
the great Chandler otherwise. -s-
| This state, we are told, runs consider
ablv to colored persons. No less than
four accompany the gorgeous Michi-
gander. Two OF these are male colored
PERSONS, and are to be devoted to the
equally divided between wife and
daughter. All are in livery. The male
colored persons have hats that defv de-
scription. Their coats are resplendent
In gold embroidery. Grape vines are
worked up the back, with the Chandler
female colored persons wear gowns
made of the American flag, with huge
belts and buckles exhibiting the coat
of.arms. The Chandler coat-of-arms is,
we presume, gander coachant, with
ward stick and scissors, and the mono
gram in gold on sky blue field made
up OF parcels OF alsptce, pepper, salt,
and soap.
For the first time in our eventFul his
tory, a United States senator goes forth
in state to astonish the world. We are
panied that the great G. did not accom-
plish this national design while the
famous exposition was in session in
Paris. The effete despotism of shaken
Europe would have weakened before
this gorgeous representative of the
young republic.
This thing cannot be helped now.
The next best thing is what the illus
trious senator is doing. Let him add
uniform Of a brigadier general, and
wearing a huge sword. II, at intervals,
he will open his throat and deliver one
of his famous senatorial efforts, draw
ing his sword in illustration, the effect
will be fine. 1t will approach that of
certain other gorgeous gentlemen of q
self-constituted sanitary commission,
who go about in gilt chariots with fell
lows in livery, who blow horns and
distinguish themselves by extracting
decayed grinders. The great Chandler
can, at any time, set ones teeth on
edge, and, in this way, tho pursuits of
the two professionals are something
akin. We mean no pun here, although
some feeble. minded people may so be-
lieve.
We shall watch the result Of this
demonstration with some anxiety. If
Europe Is not shaken, the devil is in it.
It happily comes upon the heels of
the wind; this Is the rain. That was
the lightning; this is the thunder. The
Alabama claims will be settled by inn
mediate payment with humble apollo
gies, and promises never to do so any
more. The British lion will drop his
head and tail, and Louis Napoleon,
pointing at him, will eXclaim In abom-
Unable French-for he Is nothing but
Dutchman-'cet dTI'mGle est Gie1I ma
LGCie."
We thought to see something of this
sort when the noted Forney. of the
multitudinous dailies, visited Europe.
We were grievously disappointed. For
ney was not equal to the occasion. We
invested much stock in FOrney, almost
as much as the gentleman invested
himself, and we lost heavily. Now,
however, we organize victory. Chand-
Ter goes forth freighted with our hopes
sustained by the gorgeous colored per-
sons.
The primitive days OF the republic
have passed from us forever. Time
was when we took an absurd delight in
the simplicity of our statesmen. We
were happy in the blue swallow tails
and brass buttons of Clay and Webster.
ed that they stood unadOrned, other
wise than by intellect, in the presence
of frivolous courts. But the great ele-
ment of power, wealth, has come in TO
change all that. The congressional
snob, made in one Of natures seVerest
uIS Oh eCOnOuISs DEdIhS ms OPPOAVhLS
with his money. bags, and buys his way
to place. He may not say anything IN
the House or Senate worth remember
ing, or remembered only through
shame, but his eQuipage Is stunning,
and his house is a tlunkey's paradise.
The question that precedes new
congressman In Washington society
now, is not Can he sinner but will he
entertain?' The wealthy Scion takes a
huge house, aud makes q tremendous
exhibit of upholstery. Here glldlng
and carving take the place of brainI
and wines and viands the place OF wit.
Madame bows you in with the dlgnt-
fed grace that comes OF long practice
in the shop, and Scion angles with llke
ease at that point of his body made
flexible by a counter. The first Is volu-
bic on the weather, or dress, or ser
wants, and the latter talks newspaper
politics, and gels beastly drunk TO
show his hilarity. Such is now the So
cial legislative life OF our political me-
tropolis.
Some absurd croakers assert that all
this indicates the decay of the republic.
These are the sort that, like the good
old man in "Our Mutual Friend," are
continually declining and falling after
the manner of the Roman empire. The
lack, Chambers are IL disagreeEblc lot.
We would like to have done with them
But they will not sink the ship OF State:
And this reminds us of our intended
brief mention of the departure OF the G.
for Europe. May prosperous gales
press in the shoulder of his sail. We
will not wish him health, for man
who has SO often been shalt seas over"
must, by this time, have pretty good
legs, and no end of stomach.