The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1869-11-12
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THAT NOSE.
ri. .TnE FAT CONTRIBUTOR,

Snyder kept beer saloon some years
ago, lover the Rhine" Snyder was q
pondcrous Teuton of very iraseible tenn
per--"suddcn AID quick in quarrel
got mad in minute. Nevertheless, his
saloon was great resort for boys--partly
because Of the excellence Of his beer,
and partly because they liked to chaf
told Snyder" as they called him; for,
although his bark wasterrific, experiences
had taught theul that he wouldn't bite:
One day Snyder was missing, and is
was explained by his frau" who 'jerk-
ed the beer that day, that he had .'gonc
out fishing nit der poys." The next day,
one Of the boys who was particularly fond
Of roasting" old Snyder, dropped 10 to
get glass of beer, and discovered Sny-
der's nose, which was big one at any
time. swollen and bIistercd by the sun
until it looked like dead ripe tomato.
why, Snyder, what's the matter With
your nose 2" said the caller.
~ pccn out fishing nit fer poys," re-
/ piled Snyder, laying his hand ;enderiy
against his probocis Tho sun il pese
hot like ter tifel, mt purDs my nose
Nice nose, don't it? 2" As Snyder viewed
it with look Of comical sadness, in the
little mirror back Of his bar, it entered
At once into the head Of the mischievous
fellow in front Of the bar TO play a joke
upon Snyder, 50 he went out and collect
cd balfa-dozen Of his comrades with
whom he arranged that they should drop
into the saloon one after another, and ask
| Snyder, what the matter of that nose."
to see how long hc would stand it. The
man who put up the b went in first
with companion, and seating themselves
at a table called for beer. Snyder
| brcnght il to them, and the newcomer
exclaimed as be saw him
Snyder what's the matter with your
nosc p
Il just dell Jour frint here peen ont
fishing nit ter poys, mt ter sun he pHrnt
'em-zwi lager-den cents-all right"
Ano'hc boy rushes in. Halo. boys,
you're ahead of me this time, s'pose I'm
in, though. Here, Snyder, bring me
glass Of lager and a pret-(appears to
catch sudden glimpse Of Snyder's nose,
looks wonderingiy moment, and then
bursts out laughing)-ha ha ha Why.
| Snyder,-ha! ha. what's the matter with
that nose :"
Snyder. Of course, cant see any fun In
having burnt nose or having it laughed
at, and he says, in tone sternly emphat-
ic:-
i've pin out fishing nit ter poys, unit
ter sun is shust ash hot like ash der tifel,
unt | purn my nose that is all right
Another tormentor comes in, and In
SITS on ''setting 'em up for the whole
house. "Snydcr," says he, "fill the boys
glasses, and take a drink yourself-ho
ho no la ha ha Snyder wha-ha
ha ha what's the matter with that
nose :"
Snyders brow darkens with wrath by
J this time, and his voice grows deeper and
sterner-
Il peen out fishing nit der poys on der
Little Miami. The sun pees hot like ash
hail, unit purn my pugle. Now, that is
! more vot don't got to say. Vot gind
of pecsness? That is all right; | purn
my own nose, don't it ?"
Burn your nose-burn al the hair of
your head, for what care; you needn't
get mad about it.
1t was evident Snyder would not stand
more than one more tweak at that nose,
i for he was tramping about behind his bar
and growing ike an exaspcrated old bear
in his cage. Another of his tormentors
| walks in. Some one sings out to him,
!. ''havc a glass of beer, Billy ?"
, Don't care about any beer" says Billy,
but Snyder you may eiye me enc of
! your best cig-ha-a ha ha no! no! he ]
he he ah n. b ha. ha hal Why-why
-Snyder-who, wh-haa! ha ha!-
what's the matter with that nose g''
Snyder was absolutely fearful to behold
by this time His face was purple with
rage, all except his nose. which glowed
like ball of FIRE. Leaning his ponder
Gus figure over the bar, and raising his
arms aloft to emphasize his words, he
fairly roared-
I've pecn out fishing nit der poys.-
: Der sun it pees hot ike ash hal.semna-
tion. | purnt my nose. Now you no
like dose nose, you must take dose nose
unit wrr-r.riug your tam American fn-
gers nit 'em. That's the kind of man
vot | am"
And Snyder was right.