St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1869-01-29
1U Sorts.

An auctioneer's epitaph-"Gone."
Peripatetic pugilsm-A rolling mill.
, Private real estate-Personal grounds
a radical measure-A quart of roo
beer.
Does man consider woman a poem
when she is 4 verse to him?
Whether winking is natural depend:
ON circumstances. e., whether you
have Il clnder or a pretty girl in youl
eye.
Squib, of the Lowell Courier, =
thinks the tune, when the morning stars
sang together, must have been common
meteor.
\ young lady who teaches music in
an academy in Western New York sent
an order TO Il publisher, recently, in
which she had spet the words very bad
ly. She apologiSed by adding post
script as follows: "You must exkews
this letter, as | pla by noat, but spell bi
/ ear"
soon after the May riots in 1914 some
one was mentioning to +. ID. Ingraham,
Esq. that an account of them had ap-
Peared in an Irish paper, which stated
that the Mayor had addressed the mob
without any effect That is mistake. ="
said Ingraham she got brickbat i'll
/ his stomach"
''BrIdget, how came you to burn the
bread - - ''Och. an is it burned it
l.. sure, then, ma'am, but its no fault
Of mine. for wasn't you afther telling me
last /! iug atore YOU wint out. Il large
loaf must bake one hour. an | made
three large loaveS, - | baked 'em three
hours jiSt for what else should | do -
An old lady from Andover. who saw
Il steam fire engine, could not understand
why it WAS necessary 10 boil the water
before squirting it on the fire
An advertising Ievivalist in Ceave-
land headed his posters tor a meeting
with Nv hat shall do to be saved -
An rntcrPri~.ng vcnIor Of nostrums past
ed directly under the question, Use
\ learned >avan writes to the Ameri-
can Naturalist that ..the male mosquito
,l,..,.,I, u,, I;,a. ,L.;. ,,,,,,,a, ~,
r,r,. r.liri,,, tI,,n h,.,. nt ,bn;r strnnaor
minded partners. as they rarely enter
our dwellings. AID live unnUticcd in the
.,v,,J.
An ,ni,IJe ,Ii v.;.1,v, 1;,.;,,r ,o.
t,,,,Ir.,'I ,,;r,. +,..,,, ,I,. II,I ,.a7. aII,,I
i, .hn I;rLrnJ mn Lnr I,,r.. ~ tho ,;,na -
, ,,,,..rI ;I..,,,i,,.,';,,,, =, L,,',,c C,ra.,,
l-,;.,, WI NV n,..a;I.L ,I ~ HIM..
wanted to. but" and the tears came
into her eyes ~ >hr thought OF the hus-
band she had lost twenty years before
Il couldn't remember which side poor
Jake WAS on -
-,.,.,I, ,,,;,,..,l,. :; =, ..,,,,.,, ,,,.;.l
,,.;-T.:,,l, I.,,,,.. ,,.I.a.
,f III. nr..,,,,ir., .,,,-,;nnaJ ,I,o L,,,na
..V.i,.,, 4, ,I,,,.,.,' Of NJ. y. ~;
,,r,J.,.n..,,, ..ni, :. sail ,L,, L.oMa
!.,Iur say Lo,s mn snnnJ :. ,I;n;S,ar.
..W.io. 49,, ,,,,,. D.,
.,.;,,',r.I r,II.,. ..ni' .i,,t ',.
:. ''..,,I,..
anil f7,miI;m,.t - ,La t.IT, am,I,,,,.ar;,',
a.. p.,,..,I,. ay'.I',
:, ,.,,,r.,,,,;m,, ,n., ,rh;nL 10 ;m,a,,I;atoI,,
t''.7 l.,'.i 'I IN, ~,
'' -, ', r., ,'.,. ,,'rI , t r0o W. Wv Wv
,I,na,;,,, ~, ~. - .,,or, ..I.n
tell you" replied the miscr, Il triumphant
@rin orcrsprcading his countenancc as he
spoke, Il want TO ascertain if the ser
wants steal t!ie sugar"
U.,o, I,,.,n, ,,., ,aI.,-.
.Iu,.. ,I'aa 10
'"'
C'''''''' " ''"'''e' VII '''' ''''' '''''' .''e
and >howy. This does not, however. in
volvc Il greater expenditure. A man
see, the last of Il Sl0O bill in gcttinr a
suit of clothes IA women spends $50. |
and is accused of indetensible extrava-
gance. Of ten men and ten women.
taken in the street As they come. it will
be found that the men spend two dollars
to one of the women. OF course ma
Jority OF men won't admit this; but it
is the truth, nevertheless.
ONE of tbe bo.cIs sat down to Inner
Upon the bill of fare being handel to
him hv tn. waitrr Il. r,m,rkoJ ,b,t bo
didn't care bout rcadin' now-hc'd wait
till after dinner
E,
\ wilI .', W'llteu ! 'lfr husband 10 symPa-
t"I%e WIN I'er III n 'etiii''lie qulrrel Dut