The Shasta courier., 1869-03-27
NUMBER 2
An Irish Footman.


Lady H-was one of the most amiable,
good creatures that ever existed; yet lady
ibid not acknowledge that she was
longer young woman She had arrived
at that ticSlish age for females, forty two,
when her complexion was no longer fresh
as at ty-fve, and her hair suddenly be-
gan to show gray tints. She did not like
these signs of precocious old age To rem
edy the first, there were thousand ways,
but it took her some time to reflect how to
hide the second.
At length she determined to have it dyed,
very properly considering that wig, or
even false hair, is always detestable. So
she sent for Mr.. Donegan, wel-known
halr-dyer; and after learning that the pro-
cess itself only lasted sing gle half-hour,
aud that the very following moment her
locks would shine in all the resplendency
of polished black jet, she determined as
she was engaged that evening to Hertford
House, to make her appearance there in
all the glory Of renovated youth She ac-
cordingly bid Mr.. Donegan to come at
eleven at night, when his entrance, his
exit, and above all, his business was least
likely to be known or observed.
That evening came the dyer of hair
was anxiously expected by Lady H.
Her toilet completed, her ladyship began
to watch anxiousy the dial of her dressing
room clock. But all in vain. Eleven
struck, half-past eleven came, and no Mr..
Don agan.
"Run down, Charlton" said Lady H
to her maid, "run down, and ask Matthew
if the hair-dresser has not yet been ?'
The appeal was made to Matthew Riley,
the Irish footman, who stoutly averred that
the coifeur had not ca He'd.
1T is very odd," said her ladyship when
Charlton returned +" for [ heard the bell
ring twice. But, never mind, he can't be
long" and she resumed reading her favorite
study, :" Rejected Addresses"
The bell sounded again but without re-
suit; and poor Lady H-began to fear
she would lose the pleasure of meeting the
Prince Regent for that evening The
patience of female has always conelu-
sion 50 when the ring was repeated, she
turned round, and desired her maid to run
down, as she felt assured that no one but
her hair-dresser could call at such an hour.
Charlton went, and found Matthew iii
a towering passion.
q Is that the hair-dresser.
No, its not" and he turned angrily
away.
Who was it at the door ?"
Don't bother. The dirty blackguarI ~
and the footman turned away mattering.
Charlton returned to her mistress, WAC,
being anything but satisfied with the an-
swer. again sent her down to know who it
was that had BEEN
Matthew looked very angry when the
query was put to him, and began murmur-
Ing something to himself about . the ras..
cal and kicking, and beating, and all sorts
of ill-tempered threats
q That's nothing to do with it." said his
fellow-servant . Who was it raAg 2" ss
A blackguard" "
Who ?7
!" An impudent blackguard. Be dad, if
had him in ireland, I'd tache him better"
Who was it 2"
Il don't know, the thief of the world"
: q What did he want p
What, is it want? Sure I'll be after
telling ye, as ye're so curious, for it's my
self asked him the question"
"Well-go on"
Says [, What do you want at this my
fine lad 2"
"'Ill tell your missus,' said he sDevil
bit, says |, till ye've tould me first
My business is with the Lady, says he.
1t will keep warm till tomorrow, then says
|; 'for the deuce an inch you get in till [
know what you want Can you keep
secretT says he. Can duck swim 2
says [. Upon that he came close to me,
aud says he-but arrah you won't behave
me-"
" Indeed, I will'
Well, then," says he, L come to die
hare Die hare? says l. Yes, says
he And where would you wish to dieY
says |. In your missus's room,' says he.
So with that slam'd the door in his face"
"Indeed Then you have done wrong"
said Charlton ready to with laughing.
" By dad, he came back again just now,
and says he again, as pert as may be, Tell
your missus | IN come to die hare"
"Well, what did you say?"
q What did say" Sure l said what,
every honest boy would"
And what was that ?"
80 Be jabers, said |, 'ye're big black
guard, and an ugly Christian; and you'll
not die hare. Go somewhere else and die.
you scamp of the world Die hare, in
deed ! So gave him push, and shut
the door in his face, and by dad Pm think
Ing he'll niver come here again to die
The mistake was too ludicrous Even
Lady H"laughed at it, although de-
prived for the night of pleasant, royal
rout
INTERESTING TO BALD HEADs.-One Innis.
coiored barber in Jersey City, has made
the treatment of premature bald heads a