The Plymouth Democrat., 1869-09-16
An Adventure at Niagara Falls.

MARK TWAIN met with quite an adven-
ture recently, at Niagara Falls Crossing
to the Canada side, he sought the camp of
the Red Men who manufacture bead bags
and moccasins for the visitors and made
them a speech, in which some remarks
upon their costume, and their habit of
smoking short pipes, appear to have
been misconstrucd, and exclamations
broke forth Of
Down wild him.
Scoop the blagyard!'
"Hang him ~
"Burn him''
"Drownd him ~
1t was the quickest operation that ever
was. | simply saw sudden flash in the
air of clubs, brickbats, fists, bead baskets,
mOccasins-a single fash and they all APP
pearcd to hit me at once, and no two of
them in the same place In the next in
stant the entire tribe was upon me- They
tore all the clothes off me, they broke my
arms and legs, they gave me a thump that
dcntcd the top OF my head till it would
hold coffee like 4 saucer; and to crown
their disgraceful proceedings and add in
suit to injury, they threw me over the
Horseshoe Fall and | got wet.
About ninety or a hundred feet from
the top, the remains of my vest caught on
projecting rock, and / was almost
drowned before Icould get loose finally
fell. and brought up iii a world of white
foam at the foot of the Fall, whose celled
and bubbly masses lowered I'D several
inches above my head OF course | got
into the eddy, | sailed round and round in
it forty-four times-chasing a chip and
gaining on lt-each round trip a half a
| mile-reaching fOI the same bush on the
| bank forty-four times, and just exactly
| missing ii by hairs breadth every time.
| At last man walked down and sat down
close tC that bush, and put pipe in his
| mouth, and lit Il match, and followed me
| with one eye and kept the other on the
match while he sheltered it in his hand
from the wind Presently puff of wind
! blew it out. The next time / swept around
he said:
| "Got a match?"
Yes-in my other vest. Help me out
please"
"Not for joe"
| When / came around again said:
| Excuse the seemingly impcrtincnt curl
osity of a drowning man, but will you ex-
plain this singular conduct of yours?'
"With pleasure. | ain the Coroner
| Don't hurry on my account, | can wait
for You. But | wish had match"
| / said: Take my place and I'll GO
and get you one"
He declined. This lack of confidence
on his part created a coolness between us
and from that time forward avoided him
1t was my idea, in case anything happened
| to me, to so time the occurrence as to
throw my custom into the hands of the op
position coroner over on the American side
At last policeman came along and arrest
Ell me for disturbing the peace by yelling
at people ON shore for help. The Judge
fined me, but ! had the advantage of him
NV money was with my pantaloons, and
ny pantalOons were with the Indians.
Thus escaped. | am now lying in q
very critical condition. AT least / am ly.
ing any way-critical or not critical
| am hurt all over, but cannot tell the
| full extent yet, because the doctor is
not done taking the inventory. He will
make out my manifest this evening How
ever, thus far he thinks only six of my
wounds are fatal. Idon't mind the others
Upon rcgaining my right mind, / said
| 1t is an awfully savage tribe of Indians
that do the bead work and moccasins for
Niagara Falls, doctor Where are they
/ from?"
Limerick, my son."