The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1869-10-01
Mock CHUNK (Which is in the
S,ata nv, Pam Sent. IL ,fQ

Olale NV rem. CcP'' -, W.
At last | hev struck a haven 1
rest. At last I hev a shoor abid
place, for q time at least. How Ion
| may stay, or how soon 1 may
compelled to pick up my landlord
spare shirt and travel, / cant tel
But wat do I care? For the presel
| am Ender the wing NV man WI
hez twenty millions NV dollars, an
who is yoosin it at q terrific rat
Some few Nv the drops Nv the col
tent. That is, l am content persona
ly. l am ez well off ez Good be.
hev twice penetrated :he augustpre
ence nv the Democratic candidai
for Governor NV Pennsilvany, repr,
sentin myself ez President NV DEN
: ocratic club in L philsdelphy, and twic
N hev received hlndred dollars [
icsrry on tie good aork. ,The yOua
Y man wich guards the outer door d
the candidatorial manshen Is mos
ac0ot Judge NV human nacher. Th
e servant at the door askt for creden
shells, at wich the young man VIII
I happened to he in the hall. nOtici
q me, rebuked him for delayin me.
"Terence I" remarkt he, sharply
/ "admit all sich noses without ques
, tiOn. YoO bet they are our friends.
That nose hez cost me Thousands
> NV other peoples dollars to keep i
up in color. Thank Heaven, its re
payin me some NV the trouble he,
gone To on its account.
am well enuff of, and possibly
ought TO be satisfied, but the con
dishen NV the Democrisy afllix me
The fact iz. We are in bad way,
and ther amt no way out NV it. We
amt got no voonanimity-we ain'I
get nothin to fite for, and the coun-
try hez he'd universally good crops.
The weathsr's bin agin US. Et we
Good hev he'd rain in harvest enuff to
hev rusted the wheat, and enuff fol
lerin the wheat harvest to hev rot
ted the pertaters, and then juicy
attakt NV cholera and yellow lever,
and other disorders Nv that nacher,
so thet the people Good hev got dis
satisfied and ugly and sich, ther
wood hev bin some hope for us. The
potato rot in western Pennsilvany
wood hev made thousands Nv votes
this fall alone. But watts the yOOse
NV talkin to farmers with tears in
yoor eyes NV country goin to room,
when every mothers son NV EN- hev
ther pockets stuffed with greenbax
and barn full NV wheat TO bring
more? Watts tie yoose NV clamor
in for charge when tie country's
doin ez well ez it kin anyhow 7
Then, agin, our management hez
bin friteful. In Ohio, We made a
boggle at the beginnin, in the nomi
nashen NV Rosecrans. 1t wasn't in
the nacher NV thing tor our patriots
who he'd shot officers sent out by
This Rosecrans To arrest their sons
wich he'd taken bounty and he'd de.
serted to Canady, TO vote for Rose
Grams, particlerly ez hundreds NV
EN- he'd bin dragged to Bastiles for
emptyin their rides at em. The hur-
rahs stuck in their throats. | must
confess that they made a brave at
tempt at it, but they looked sick
while they did it. Their efforts to
hurrah for Rosecrans, and the face
they made NV it reminded me NV an
insident wich occurred to me wunst.
he'd a friend whose name it was
Brown, who wuz given to Indulgence
in the flown bowl to a fearful extent.
Wun mite he attempted TO be cOnviv
vel on new brand nv whiskey, and
it fioored him. At III p. NJ. found
him clingin to a lamp post and vom-
ilin as tho ther wuz miniatoor earth
quake into his inside.
"Brown!' remarked |. layin my
hand affectionately onto hiz shoul-
der, s'BrOwn are you sick Z"
".Sick ? SICK p replied he, swingin
around to the other side NV the post
and dischargin another avalanch-
"sick TIL! do 700 think Pm doin
this for the iun NV the thing ?'
Our Democrats in Ohio swallered
Rosecrans, but their hurrahs were
so much like the rctchin NV man
with load onto his stnmick, that ii
reminded me Nv my friend Brown.
In Pennsylvany We amt much be.
ter off. Our candidate hez pints
about him. He was a copperhed
doorin the war, wich makes all NV
that class NV Democrats enthoosias-
TIC in his support; but on tother
hand it drives off the war Democrats,
without wich We .int worth shucks.
lie hez money though, and ez he's
blee'lIn freely he may keep the or
ganizashen alive till we kin make a
fite with man wich we kin elect.
The principle trouble is, however,
to find out wat Democracy is at this
juncter. In Ohio its agin niger
ekality snd in favor OF either payin
off the bonds in greenbax or repudi-
ashen; in Tennessee its nigger suf-
frage and nigger offs hoidin; in
Connecticut its payin the bonds In
gold, interest and principal; in
Californy its anti Chinese, and in
Looisiana its Chinese. In Maine our
people are runnin a perhibertory lik-
ker law, and everywhere else they
are for free whiskey. In Illinois,
Democracy is free trade; in Penn
sylvauy, its high protective tariff,
and so on around. In short its so
high mixed that l woodent agree to
90 from one county to another to
make speeches, without having first
carefully ascertained wat the De-
mocracy nv that pertikeler county
believed in.
l got Democratic papers from all
lhe States one day, and by persistent
reading NV EN- for five hours, l be-
came so mixed as to be q promisln
candidate for aloonatic Asylum.
l shell stay wher am so long ez
there is anything to be got out NV
the posishen. hev personated a
Cheerman NV Philldelfy Committees
twice successfully; tomorrow | will
try it agin, and after that sich other
characters as may occur to me. l
must make hay while the sun shines,
for the furious assaults onto Pack
er's pile is redoosin it fearfully.
PETROLEUM. V. NAsBY,
Wiah Uuz Postmaafar