Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1869-09-23
Freaks Of a Burglar,

A few nights since the residence
Oft prominent citizen was entered
by a burglar, and some valuable
.jewelry and other property stolen
and carried away, But, before
leaving the house, It appears he
paid a visit TO nearly every apart
ment In it. Traces of him were
found above and below stairs ;
wherever, indeed, it was possible
that any valuables could be obtain
ed. 1t so happened that one mem
ber Of the family belonged to that
much abused and very excellent
class Of society called "old maids. ="
She is a free-hcarted, generous la-
dy, intelligent and refined, and the
only fear that her well balanced
mind had ever known, is the appre-
hension that in some evil hour Sa-
tan wil-lure her affections into the
keeping of that nbomination Of her
mind, a man. The good lady prays
every night that no such'evil may
befall her, and that she may live
and die in maiden meditation fancy
free. Now whether the burglar
knew this popularity of the lady s
mind or not, he at all events deter
mined to play her very practical
Joke. TO this end he carefully re-
moved from the chair on which she
had neatly folded and laid it, all
her wearing apparel, and subsiitu-
ted from another room, a complete
suit of gentleman's clothes. Then
taking off a huge pair of false whis-
kers, he carefully adjusted them to
the face of the sleeping lady. OF
course he could not wait to sac the
denouement, but that pleasure was
reserved for the family the next
morning Awakening at an early
hour, the good lady proceeded to the
mirror Gan invariable practice with
ladies) to enjoy a look at her face.
The first glance petrided her with
horror. Was she indeed a man !?
The latent superstition of her ma
ture reviving she immagined that
Satan had been playing her a hor-
rible revenge for her animosity to
the male creation. She staggered
to a chair, and, almost broken
hearted, concluded to dress and
send for a barber. But now she
noticed for the first time that her
clothes too were gone, and gen
tleman's outfit was substituted i'll
their stead. Shs was certain now
the metamorpho5is was complete,
and resigning herself to the situa-
ton, tried to don the apparel. But
having no experience in the adjust
ment of the newfangled apparel,
and habit being stronger than In
stinct, she found that every time
she put the pantaloons over her
head, she encountered an impedi-
ment that defed all her efforts to
overcome. In short, the pants
wouldn't go over her head. AT
last, in despair, she rang for as
sistance, and her maid appearing
at she door, she cried out;
"Don't come in, Betty, for I'm a
man now; but just please step and
ask my brother if he usually puts
his breeches ovel his head, or com
mences feet-foremost?" ?"
1t is needless to. say the mes
sage astonished the household. 1t
was some time before the lady
would admit to her apartment any
one of either sex, for fear that SHE
might make mistake, but finally
one more adventurous tEHn the
rest pushed open the door, and
soon convinced the sorely trohbled
maid that she had not forscen her
estate, but was yet one Of the an
gels of earth,
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