The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1869-07-10
DECEIT OF SONG WRITERS.

The man who wrote "llo'ne. Sweet
Hnm-." never had home. Erciauge
No, Of course not. Al! his folks at home
say that he didn't Nobody who writes
about anything ever ha. it. II ,lau is
out of anything. he Immediately goes
and writes about it. No one writes so
many "heading~" as the man who is cut
Of his head.
Certainly he didn't ever have any home
The man who wrote "O'd Arm Chair"
never had an arm chair in all his life
The 5es; he had was an old sp'it-bot
tom chair. without any back to i.
The author Of Take Ne Back to Swtzer
land," never was in Switzerland. The
nearest he ever came TO it WAS sitting in
the William Tell saloon eating Swjz-r
-kaze why, that Was the best he could
do
Mother, I've Come Home 10 Die"
hasn't spoken to the old woman for years,
and wouldn't go near the house. BE.
sides, he is one Of that class of spirit
naists who don't believe they ever will
die. His health was never better. His
mother is nothing but mother-in-law.
and she is dead anyhow.
There is thu author of "Od Oaken
Bucket" too; there wasn't bucket on
The whole farm, water being drawn with
tin pail aud cistern pole
If had but Thousand Year"
stated privately to his friends that he
would be perfectly contented with just
half that sum. AS he was doing chores
just for his board and three months
schooling in the winter.
The author Of champagne Charley"
never drank anything but ten cent whis-
kew.
Shells Of the Ocean" is humbng
The p|an:iv- poet who represents him
set as wandering one summers eve, with
sea-beat thought, on prnSive shore was
raised in the interior Of PENNSYLVANIA,
aud VS. never ten miles away from home
in all his life. "Gathered Shells" did he
Al! the shells he ever gathered were
some. egg shells back Of his mothers
kitchen.
"Hark, Hear the Angels Singing"
spent all his evenings in concert beer
saloon. Angels indeed.
The man who wrote the "Song Of the
Shirt" hadn't shirt to his bark-wear-
ing wamus for the most part
loft in the StiIy Night" used to gel
on spree and make the Silly night howl
till daybresk.
The author Of We Met by Chance"
knew very we'll it was ali arranged be-
forehand. He had been weeks in con.
irving t-and she admired its contriv-
ance.
The author 0f II Know Bank" etc.,
di int know one where he could get his
note discounted. The only check he ever
held was white "ch-ck" on faro bank.
He never had red check in all his life
What are the Wild Waves Saying I"
knew very well they were reproaching
him for running away from Long Branch
without paying bis hotel bill.
who will Care for Mother Now e.
Who indeed Yon took the old woman
to the poor house just before writing the
song. and there is nobody but the poor
master 10 care for her now
"Hrar Ne, Norma" was deaf and dumb.
He couldn't make his pa hear. nor ma.
The author Of Rain on the Roof al
ways slept in the basement, except when
he slept out Of doors.
"Let NJ. Kiss Him for his Mother" got
mad because the mother wouldn't have
him, and whipped her little boy within an
inch Of his life.
Il Drramt Dwelt 10 NJ + 10 Halls" used
to cheat at marbles when boy, anl his
dream was horrid nightmare, brought on
BY re,notse 1T the reco lection of fraudu-
lent marble hau!s.
I'm Sadiest when Sing" was tickIed
almost to death when invited to.
III .ppy be thy Dreams" sold benzine
whisky. Nh cat fancy what kind of
dreams were produced.
No On. to Love-" having just killed
off bis fifth wife, naturally felt like the
deuce about it