The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1869-09-30
MISCELLANEOUS.
THE WIFE,S SECRET.

OOWment whatever, II IS upon tnat mum
BILE one of Common Sense. | live what is
called by the intellectual people cOnven-
tiOnal life. | have my pew in the neigh
boring church, and SIT in it twice every
Sunday. know one captain in the army
Just such person as he should be-pOl-
i-hed, and yet ferocious, gentle to ladies
but rather insolent to civilian males, boast
full of his clubs, and giving all his leisure
time, which is considerable, to the cultiva-
tion of his mustaches; but otherwise |
am ignorant of the fashionable world and
all its gay doings. I have made no en-
deavOr to break through the gilded pale
that separates it from the steady going
middle class to which | belong | do not
understand the feeling which prompts my
Superiors to be ashamed of being seen in
an omnibus. Once every day | return from
the city in one; and if it is wet use the
same conveyance in the morning to reach
my office L pay my tradesmen weekly
My best sherry is 4Ss q dozen; and when
the captain talks of vintage wines {as he
will do by the hour at my table,, 1 often
wonder what he thinks he is drinking.
However, with true good breeding, he i'm
bibes it in great quantities, as though ii
were the best do not keep q man-ser-
want. Our cook cannot compass an ONE
lette s0ufice. MY wife trims her own bon
nets We have eight children, who all
know the Church Catechism by heart, ex-
cept the baby and the last but one. In
short, more respectable and unfashion-
able family than our own does not exist in
all Bayswater.
Under these circumstances, it may be
easily imagined that we are as free from
the vices of the great as we are without
their privileges; and this was, honestly
believe, the case until within very recent
period. When | used to read in the
papers that the Lady Day Col ay (of Nor
man ancestry and bluest blood) had left
her husbands roof, and fled with Major
Flutterby of the Life Guards; or that it
was rumored among well-informed circles
that the gentleman of the long robe would
soon find employment in the domestic af-
fairs of his Grace the Duke of Belgravia,
/ used to give prolonged whistle, and re-
mark "Here they are again" in general
reference to the habits of the haut ton.
knew that our hereditary aristocracy were
given TO these escapadss, which in my own
rank of life would certainly be crimes, and
| perused such details as the press could
furnish with an avidity unalloyed, l am
afraid, without much reprobation. i seem
whose way of life was too far removed
from my own to affect me, except as a
spectator; Just as when went to the play
L found myself in atmosphere of in
trigue, and misunderstanding, and jealousy,
altogether unreal, and with which | had
not the ghost of an experience in common.
Jealousy. Why, | had been married
sixteen years without entertaining that
passion, so that it was not very likely,
however well acted, that that passion
should entertain me. misunderstanding
The thing was impossible, for whenever
there promised to be ~ row in the pan
try and every married man will under
stand me when / make use of that meta
phorical eXpreSsiOn-l brought it to a
head, and had II out, and off we started
again Speaking for self and Mrs. RI
On the smooth current of our lives, with
the little fracas buried forever in its
depths. AS for the mother of eight fall
ing In love with another man-it is all
very well in a stage-play, and particularly
where the husband is a black man, and as
| have said, beftting enough among per.
sons of quality; but upon the Noting
Hill side Of Bayswater any such mis-
chance would, | felt, be out of place and
ridiculous-a social presumption, as well
as grave domestic crime. Imagine,
therefore, nv astOnishment when my Op-
positc neighbor, Peabody, who also calls
himself my friend, did me the honor to
call upon me few weeks ago, to speak, in
confidence, of the alarming conduct of my
wife. Having demanded and obtained a
private interview, this scandalOus old per
son, who was once an ndigo-merchant
and yet retains the trace ofhis calling upon
his nose, set before me in detail a number
OF curious circumstances connected with
the gOings on" as he was pleased to cal
them, of my wife, which he was not, in
deed, prepared to say, might not possibly
be only condolences, after all, but which
he felt it is his duty rs a fellow creature
and one who had been husband in hi.
timc-herc his lips made dumb motion
of gratitude-to let me know. Even as {
ncighbOr, and an inhabitant of common
Crescent, hitherto remarkable for its re
spectabihty, and which, as doubtless re
membered, had declined to permit Mrs
Jones to put up apartments in her win
dow, lest we should be confounded Will
the lodging house localities; nay, which
by the mere force of its public opinion
had prevented No. 4S4 from being let to-
playactOr-even in this character, sale
u
make me aware of what was being said
though doubtless falsely, respecting the be
haviOr of Mrs R. Here | should ha VI
locked the door, and informed Peabsd,
that his last hour was certainly arrived
and that he had better make his pcac
with Providence before cut his throat
but from ignorance Of the proper cOnduC
to be adopted in sucn exceptional circum
stances and perhaps from the knowledg
that there was nothing but . paper-knif
i'm the room with which to effect thi
righteous punishment, L only burst ou
laughing. and called him meddling an,
impertinent old fool
"Very true" returned he, for he alway
makes use of that form of words" yer
true; but still the facts are worth invest
eating, even from their singularity. ID
you know. for instance, that at eleye
o'clock, three days week, your wife goe
out in cab by herselfs"
mo" said /, al do not; though
if she does, il is surely better than if sh
had any ineligible companion. As MAJ
ter of fact, however, she does not do 81
for have offered To go shopping with ne
twice this week, and she has declined
accompany me on the ground of havin
sore throat"
Upon what days did she give tlfs e,
cuse?" inquired Peabody, taking out b
pocket-book.
LAST Monday and last Thursday" r,
turned L.
"Well, here's memorandum: Nondn
An. lSnc Mrs R start, az usual. at 3
Thursday, 7tt, ditto, ditto. She could n,
be going to a morning concert, becau,
she had no white gloves on.
Il will grant that much" quoth ], sa
donically, and yet not by any means III
moved by this unexpected inteiligenc
My wife does not go 10 morning co
certs."
VERY true observed Peabody. The
the question arises, where does she GO Il
Now, as an inhabitant Of the Crescent