The Portland daily press., 1869-08-02
Gossip and Gieanings.

The unkindest cut of ALA cut of cold
shoulder.
What word will make you sick If you leave
one letter out of it? Music.
What is the relation Of the door.mat to the
scraper? 1t is the step-father.
--A storekeeper advertises ten pounds of
sausage issff ifssf dollar. That's dog cheap.
Never supinely wait for thing to turn
up. Go straightway and turn it mp yourself.
The bachelors refrain-a lassl The maid
ems refrain-ah meni Let them no longer re-
frain.
-"Bill," said dying California stage driv-
er, "I'm on the down grade, and can't reach
the brake"
1t is aid that the Yankee who was at the
point of death, Whitfield it OF with his kuife,
and got well.
"A California hotel proprietor saves the ex-
pense Of a gong by keeping dog, whose tail
he pulls for dinner.
Why is lady whose dress touches the
floor like vagrant? Because she has no visi-
BILE means of support.
What is the difference between leader in
the van and three -year-old follower? One is
lOloulost, anu hu0 blnoA mO1e Ao4Is
Upon the arrival of the President in Wash
ington, Thursday, he visited fashionable res
taurant near the White House, where he di-
receted that his breakfast be served in a pri-
vate room; but the barkeeper not knowing
him, refused to give him private room, and
the President was forced to breakfast alone at
the Executive Mansion.
LIT is expected that Queen Victoria will
shortly visit Paris. W feg.tF
AHMED Bey, an attache of the Sublime
Porte, has arrived In Paris.
-spragus is to entertain the Chief Justice.
Hon John Forsyth, of Alabama, has not
been. i'll, as was reported.
Judge Thurman is wanted to stump Cali
fornia, where he is visitor.
The population in Paris in 1868 was esti-
mated to number !, SIS, $40 souls; 45, $50 deaths
and %, ,o02 births were reported during the
same year.
A Louisville paper reports that the physi-
clans who attended Judge Jere. E. Black
while he was lying in the st. Joseph's Infrm-
airy, louisville, suffering from the injuries he
received in the accident on the Louisville and
Nashville railroad, some time ago, and who
saved his arm, have sent in bin of $1,000 to
the railroad company, who had offered to pay
the expenses incurred by the Judge through
the accident. Of this sum the principal wishes
$1,000, and the assistant 81 800. The bill has
not vet been paid the directors Of the company
regarding it as rather exorbitant.
-aMammyi" said precocious little boy,
who, against his will, was made to rock the
cradle Of bis baby brother. @if the Lord has
any more babies to give away, don't you tax
en-
"A Western man advertises his wife who
has left his bed and board with gentlemen
named Decker"
why should the Pennsylvania oil counties
be surrounded by watsr?" Because they are
ilelands.' mi ~ . s.lr
An inebriale individual fell down flight
Of stairs in Bellows Falls, VT, the other night,
and passer by fearing him seriously injured
ran to pick him mp. But the man majestical-
ly staggered to his feet, and in response to the
proffered aid, roared out: snow you jes lem
me lone. Wan no slobberin aroun' me. 1
alters come down stairs that way"
AT late fire in London, while the engines
were discharging their contents against the
front of house, an inscription on It became
nearly obIiterate ''By my soul" exclaimed
witty Irisbman, "this is queer time for
joke. e.''l sand who Is joking growied one OF
tba f;rsmen. bs.Why, don't you see, honey,
Won are playing upon wordsp' replied Pat.
a shrewd old gentleman, in the aays that
ara zone. was told by his son that he was go
inc to bny a COW with friend. do so Will
lam but be sure and buy the hinder part,
which eats nothing and gives all the milk"
DIR. Stone formerly of the Park street
church, Boston, and Mr.. Murray his sue essor,
being great horsemen, the irreverent scamPs
Of the city call the urch,-"stone and Muir
rays Cleus.''
"A new Episcopal church recently erected
on the eth Avenue, New York is called the
s.cburch Of the holy filters" by some-by 9TH
az. ,I,e s.church of the broken covenant" 1t
t.tsz indifercntIy either name, from the fact,
that the two clergymen officiating at the
church have both been ieugaged to be married,
and the engagement in both cases hasa been
broken. rr4
Years ago, at a village prayer-meeting,
persons present we're asked to repeat passages
Of scripture. melting to diligence and indus
try. Quite number Of appropriate passages
had been quoted, when young fellow say IL or
1s Years OF are, snraug up and cried out, in all
honesty OF purpose = .Hoi every one." Down
he sat. evercoms by his triumph, only how
ever to be greeted with the smiles and sup
pressed laughter of nearly all present,