The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-01-24
Nine Years OF War Beiweea Husband and
... Wife. .-

A most curious and strange illustration of in.
herent love OF war IN the human bosom is given
ia the history Of a man and wife. now living in
Maury county, Tennessee, within six miles of Col
umbia. An old couple, who were once happy and
enjoyed life, as much. perhaps, as it is possible
Tor married couple TO enjoy it, live in the local.
ry above indicated. They own small property
but have no children, they eat their meals togeth.
er daily, except when the old man is out hunting,
al which time the lady of the house enjoys her
grub IN silence. Every evening in the year, ex.
cept one, they occupy opposite sides of the fire.
place, one whining tobacco smoke up the chin
ney and the other chewing snuff and growing to
herself. Not word passes. About 10 O'Clock
they simultaneously rise and go 10 bed in silence.
The exceptional day TO this beautiful. harmo-
NOUS life, is the 18th of December, commonly
called, IN this Chstian country " Christmas Day -
when there occurs regular old.fashioned fight
between the silent twain. This is an annual bat
tie, and like ether fights, is a contest for the
supremacy Of an idea. IL was inaugurated in this
wise:
Nearly ten years ago, on Christmas Day, in the
morning. the old man went ont hunting for some.
thing fat for dinner. After an absence of about
five hours, he returned with an animal Of some
sort and singing 1t on the floor, he triumpha lily
exclaimed:
"Ihere. there. Betty. is ground hog for din.
ner. Betty turned the affair over with the tos of
her brogan, gszed intently for two minutes, and
then deliberately said
Faugh it's a skunk"
The husband didn't like this expression OF opin-
ion on the part Of his beloved bat beng a mild
man, and anxious TO retain the long standing good
feeling between them, he contented himself with
gentle reiteration Of his first remark. The lady
became firm Also and even INDUCED in sort Of
subdued sheer at the ignorance of her husband.
BE waxed cross.
81 tell you, Bet. it is a ground hog, and don't
want TO be contradicted."
But the lady contrsdicted. "I tell you II is"
"a I all. IL - r
Increasing rapidity and vrulence, until the storm
assumed the shape of blows. The man pinched.
and the woman scratched until both became ex.
hausted and bad to quit from sheer WEAKNESS
Next day when GOODNESS and reflection super
seeded heat and passion, both silently regretted
the unfortunate difference of opinion, which left
the head Of the house with half his beard and very
little hair, and the lady two eyes of unusual dark
ness but they spoke not No, both were too
proud ard guilty for that. They remained silent
until whole year had rolled round and Christ
mas day again csme on, while enjoying a cup of
thick, black coffee and greasy corn dodger, the
wife mildly ventured remark to the effect that
they had been very foolish year ago TO fall out
and pound each other about so miserable a thing
as q skunk.
"Yes." said the repentant husband. cit was
darned wicked of us, and we oughtnt ha' done il.
but you forget, Bet, that was a grounding and
not q skunk"
Bet cid notforget; she had reason TO remember.
although the black eyes were all gone thea, but
she knew it was skunk. The husband thought it a
shame for her to hold the same opinion still, par.
ticusrly when she knew it TO be a grounding.
She knew different. The virulence again crept in
words wsxed bot and blows followed. The scene
OF the former Christmas Day was re-enacted to
nicely, and both went to bed exhausted with
blacker eyes in her head and less hair on his
They were repentant and silent next day, and
spent the year without speaking; but when the
anniversary arrived the same scene was gone
through with religious precision, and has been
gone through with every Christmas since. The
people for miles around have become aware of
these annual idiosyncrscies in the lonely and pc.
culiar pair. and look forward with much interest
10 the developments Of the coming Christmas IL
may be proper TO remark, for the sake of perspi-
Guilty, that the lady's eyes, from being originally
a light gray have become a coaly black from the
periodical dying which her consderate husband
gives them and his hair has entirely disappeared,
owing TO the yearly operations of her long fingers
There are various opinions entertained as to when
the war will end but the general belief is that the
lady will use up the old man in few more fights