The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1869-11-10
An Adventure on the Cars.

had concluded to tako trip to the
Falls. We got aboard tho cars ut
N, and were soon travelling rap.
idly to our destination.
We had lust seated ourselves and
prepared f.. n comfortable smoke
when in came the conductor, and who
should it be but our old friend Mel.
willie. After the common salutations,
show arc you, old fellow" etc., had
passed, Melville said ho had some
business for us to do.
"Out with it. old chum," said wo ;
s'enything at all will be acceptable, SO
let's have it,"
"Wcll, boys" said Melville, in q
very confidential tone, "in that next
car there is as loving o pair as it was
my lot to sec. They arc going down
to Il to got married, and now if
you can have fun over it pitch in
They must bo cared for, and I don't
know who can do it better than YOU"
Ina moment Melville was gone,
aud VIC set our heads together to
form plan for taking care Of tho
lovers.
I'll havo it, boys" said Harry Liv-
ingston; "wc must mako that girl be-
licvc that her lover is married."
chats it, Harry--that's it," said
We, not giving him time to finish his
sentence.
"That he is married man, and tho
father of childrcn,' said Harry. -
"That's the game, boys-now let us
play it,"
1t dcvolvod upon mo to commence
operations. Accordingly, I entered
tho car in which wo wcro informed
the lovers woro. Sure enough, there
they we're, in real, soft lovers style.
All this gathered at glance. Step.
ping up to them, | said:
"Why, Jones, what in the deuce
are you doing with this girl?',
"Sec hero, stranger" said the fell
low, "you'ro mistaken--my namc ain't
Jones'"
"Why, JONES'" said I,"you Ger.
tainly haven't left your wife and chill.
drcn, and tried to palm yourself off
for n single man, have you"
81 tell you my name ain't Jones'
its Harper. 1t never was Jones
faint goin to be nuthcr."
merely shook my head and passed
on to another scat to SEQ tho rest of
the fun. Tho girl looked wild after |
TAT down but Jones, alias Harper,
soon convinced her that was mistak-
en-.
About the time they got to feeling
right we'll again, in came Clarence
Mcdowell. Walking up to Harper,
he accostcd him with
"Why, Jones, you hero How did
you leave your wife and babies I"
"Now, SEQ here, stranger, you ain't
the fust man that's called mo Jones
TO. day, and reckon I must look aw-
fully like him; but amt jones, and
more'n that, you mustn't call me
Jones. haint got wife, nor babies
nuthcr /; but this zero gal and I is
ngoing to splice, an then you can talk
about my wife, but you mustn't call
mo Jones, no how"
This retort brought forth vocifer-
Gus laughter from tho spectators, and
brought bushes to the face of the
"gal that was going to be splicod."
"Ah JONES'" said Clarence, s'you
will rcgrot this some day. 7 nity
your wife and children, and this poor
girl"
$50, Mr.. Harper, your roal name is
Jones, is it, and you've beon foolin'
me, have yoa2 Well, we aint splicod
yet, and don't think we will be soon"
said the girl, and her eyes fairly
flashed fire.
"Jane, Jane p' said Harper, Ndon't
you know l'm Bill Harperl Thar
amt darnod drop of Jones' blood in
me, and I'll prove it,"
At this moment Will Duval, Harry
Livingston aud Horace Guy entered,
and OF course their attention was call.
cd to Harper by his loud talking and
excited manner. manner They stepped up to
"Why, Jonos, what is all this fuss
about 7'' --~
This was moro than Harper could
stand. He leapsd up on his seat.
"Now," said he, "my namo aint
Jones, and l can lick tho fellow that
says it is"
BY this time we had arrived at
H--rs and our friend Melville came
into the car and mado Harper keep
quiet. The girl that wouldn't be
spl,ced requested Melville to keep hor
on the train that was going back to
n n, which he did, and tie furious
Jones, alias Harper, followed her.
Wo learned afterwards that he
&proved himselfsto be Bill Harper in.
stead Of Jones, and be and his gal got
splieed, " .
The other day, in private com pany,
SAYS yf'ssla an English papora medical gen.
candles with his breath as fast as thew
put them out. A cioar yb;oh 80,