The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-11-29
Home Reading.

IhePropcr study for mankind is man;
but tee, ,pleasanteSt one is-woman.
Captain Jinks" has at lrst been su-
Perced by "Shoo, Fly. Don't BOddcr
ut i, more blessed to give than to re-
ceive"-a kick. Also, counterfeit frac-
tiOnal currency.
I'm ruined" as the old woman said
when her house was on FIRE; ,"bus it is.a
cold night and Imay as we'll warm my
self..'
The hardest thing to hold. in this
world, is an unruly tongue. 1: beats hot
smoothing irons and kicking horses all to
pieces.
Forty-,even men who were drawn as
Jurors for one County in Georgia, we're
excused from service on account Of hav-
ing young babies at home, and the Court
adjourned until baby season is over.
It's different IN Africa. If any ono
comes before the king minus full dress,
which consists Of ring in the nose and q
pair of rcd shce-strings, he is cooked for
dinner next day.
The Ohio divine who protests against
dancing is said to be fond of dance him
self, at his sermons. He calls it atten
dance!
Mike McCoOls says ''fhere is no homer
in prize-fghting." Mike has done all in
his power to prove the proposition, and
therefore has reasonable right to state
it.
A cotemporary OF ours has novel way
of making the winter pass off quickly. 10
gives bank noto in the fall for ninety
days, and he says spring comes as soon
as he wants to SEQ It.
Elder Smith. at Salt Lake City, re-
Gently married the widow and two
daughters of his brother, and : reporter
of the Telegraph inquired what relation
the children ofthe two daughters would
bear to Smith. Thercupon Smiths son
thrashed the reporter. and his.cur:csitv il
supposed to bo satisfied.
In one of Mrs. Stowe's stories She a.
ludes to the fact that conscience smote
her in the pit Of the stomach. Whereupor
q Georgia editor wants to know what kind
efa woman this is, who mistakes cholera
morbuS for conscience
4 Quaker in Bloomington, Illinois,
who observed his wife looking in at the
kitchen door while he was embracing tho
servant girl, thus addressed ber-"Mary,
thee had better suit peeaing, or thee will
cause disturbance in the family"
There is man in Hoboken, New Jer-
sey, naaed Bush, who was elected alder
man on the strength of $50 pounds
weig ght; supervisor when he was 35o,and
nowis chosen to the New jersey Leeisla-
ture on the platform of 425 pouds. He
expects to go to Congress at 500 and be
President atT00.
And now they have discovered 4 boil
ing spring, on the banks of the Colorado
river, in the neighborhood of the Big
Canyon, fycu know where that is. that
throws stream, ten feet through, one
hundred feet high. We place confidence
in tho yarn, for we get it from Salt
Lake paper, which wouldn't lie about hot
water. -.'
A Pittsburg man who don't beat his
wife is behind the times, and don't at
tract much attention.
A Liverpool church adrertises for an
organ-Ho#sr, who mast be 4 "muscular
and pious man."
Madison, Wisconsin, has terrible
sensation. A dry goods clerk has mar
ried a factory girl, and the old folks have
disowned him.
Two men were hunting in Sierra
County, California, when they came
across one Of those lions. One of the
fellows got up in tree, saying he didn't
know as he had lost any lion.
The man Williams, supposed to have
been executed as a spy at Franklin, Ten
uesseo, BY the Federals, in 1868, turns
up commander of regiment of Black
Horse Cavalry in Cubs. He likes it
better than hanging. ~
A Wisconsin paper, speaking of a fro
near church, says-"T6e revival meet
ing at the Baptist Church broke off in the
middle. No insurance" Which makes
it bad. ..r.
At Salt Lake they brag that their the
ater is the first and only one ever dedica-
ted by prayers. 1t is pleasant to know
that this is tEuo, and may it be the last.
A chap out in Indiana, who has been
published as having had 800, 900 fall to
him, says it was girl baby tha. his wife
had, which was alluded to. He says ifs
worth the money, but don't see the use Of
the papers making such fuss about it.
Some Cincinnati boys, who should
have pension, stole the intestincs Of a