Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-04-23
CUms0sIrIEs IN ADyERTIslNG G.

CCR1OSITlES IN ADVERT1S1NGe
The "ingratitude Of republics" is shown
by the following advertisement in q WASH
ing,on paper: " Having served five and
half years in the army, participated in twen-
ly.nine battles and skirmishes, was wounded
so that cannot support my family (wife and
child) by manual labor, l respectfully ask
some menber Of Congress or Senator TO give
me copying 10 do, which will be neatly and
dore. Address J. s., Chronicle
Office"
Some one in The Editors Drawer Of "Har>
per's Monthly" says -" Levi Rockwell, Of
East Windsor, Connecticut, is a gentleman
who seems to have had certain notions rela>
tive to the expenditures requisite for the
maintenance Of his household
that differed from the views of his spouse
Julia. Julia, having decided upon making
sundry little purchases that Levi calculated
be could not and would not afford, and deem
ing il bis duty to apprise the public that he
ven, upon the cash plan, announced that
fact to the public 10 the following stauza:
" julia, my wife, has grown quite rude,
She has ieft me in Lonesome mood
She has left my board,
She has took my bed,
She has gave away my meat and bread !;
She has left me in spite Of friends and
church,
She has carried with her al my shirts.
Now ye who read this paper,
Since she cut this reckless caper,
! will not pay one single fraction
OF any debts Of her contraction"
A recent number Of the New York Tri-
bun contained the following advertisement !:
TO WHOM 1T MAY CONCERN.-lf
Mrs. Fehler does not return to her husband
within three days be will consider himself
parted.
One would think this concerned Mr.. Feh>
Ter appropriate name y more nearly than
any body else, il he was to be parted in three
days,
In an enterprising village of this State, it
was deemed expedient TO get up . donation
party for the benefit of the pastor. The gen.
man upon whom the writing Of the adver>
tisemcnt devclved discharged that tduty faith
fully, concluding with:
"The Lord Ioveth the cheerful giver by
order Of the Committee"
From an English paper ~ fud this NOR
tuary advertisement:
Beneath this stone, in hope Of Zion,
Doth lay the Landlord Of the Lion.
His son keeps on the business still,
Resigned unto the Heavenly will
The next sounds like m occasional per-
sonal in the Herald -" Oh, Ny Derest Ma
ley will tri to ancer yure Deer letter. 0
how my throhbin heart Does AXE to Embrase
you onse more. o you Darling Rosa Bud
won't you marry me. here the exc sncsr
j will. Don't let that ugly thing take you a
Buggy Riding agin. o how Felt the frst
time We tutched our lips tugether. o how
my hole frame did quiver bus must stop on
will 90 crazy. 0 how We viii divide the
sorrows and comforts of life Ances rite oi
from your George e."
And here Is one more, somwhat similar in
sentiment--though perhaps both are equally
poetic:
TO LET.
To be let at very delicate rate,
A snug little house Ia . fne healthy state,
IT'S o bachelors heart and the agent j.
chance,
Affection the rent-to be paid in advance.
The owner, as yet, has possessed it alone,
So the fixtures are not Of mach value bu
soon
Twill be furnished BY Cupid himself, If I
wife
Take lease for the term OF her natural life
The Tenant win have few taxes to pay
Love, honor, and-heaviest item-obey. =
As for the goodwill, the owners inclined
To have that, if agreeable, settled in kind
Provided true title, by proof, can be showr
To heart unencumbered and free as bis own
So ladies, dear ladies, pray do not forget,
Here's an excellent bachelor habitation to lie
A Western paper contains the following
advertisement: Wants asitua,ion, . prac
tical printer, who is competent to take chsrs,
fany department. in a printing and publish
ing house. Would accept prosessorship u
any Of the academies. Has no objection 4
teach ornamental painting and penmanship
geometry, trigonou,etry, and many other sci
ences. Is particularly suited to act as pas
tor to small evangelical church, or as To-
cal preacher. He would have no objection
to form small but select class Of interest,"
ing young ladies' to instruct in the highes
branches. To . dentist or q chirapodist be
would be invaluable, as he can do almos
anything. Would cheerfully secept posi-
ton as q bass or tenor singer in q choir
Would board with . family, il decidedly pi
Gus. For further particulars, inquire a
Browns Saloon
A London paper hes advertised that q Two
sisters want washing" +" We hope they ma,
get it." was the disrespectful remark Of al
who read the notice.
A shopkeeper At Warrington, England
pestered by people who inquire for what be
does not keep, advises the public through
the local paper to the following e9sc4;
" Notice / don't keep IL hole mouse trap moi
penny ones what keep sell to respectable
people not TO imrudent Boys Hand Bad
Girls that comes to robbedr1e and aAnoy
me and has Bad parents those that comes
into my shop shall be severely beat and pu,
into the cellar and took before the magis-
trade these that comes into . shop and ask
for article that is not made they must come
to steal"
The following highly important announce.
ment recently appeared in one Of cur city
dailies -" Observation-Disclosures or la
dies requiring the services Of . gsntlenanly
expert for working up cases Of q private ma,
ture should address -. Unfaithful
husbands and wives looked after. Best ref
erences. Utmost secrecy. Moderate char
ges.
In the Georgetown Ni,ror, Mclvina says
Of her Frank -" NorIcE.-FrHnk s. But>
ler advertises me ~ having leA bis bed and
board. This is mistake, ~ own the bs1
and took it With me.
MELylxA BUTLER
No one Of any gallsntry land who is dis
qualified BY marriage from answering the re-
quirements himself) can do less than heed
the following "ad." from the Tribune Of .
late date:
"To Rxxr-lady, whose husband is often
absent, wishes to rent to . bachelor or wid>
over, . nicely furnished parlor. Must be
agreeable, &c. Address, for three days,
MAD West Side Post 0eirc."
Artificial Infants ere thus announced,
in an exchange:
"ARrIrlcIAL BABIEs FoR TRAVELLERS,
/" Armed with an Isfant oae Is admitted to
First Class Cars and Saloons.
The tariff Of prices are ~ follows:
"Common travelling infants, Welding in-
tsrrnittent cries of fear. and capable Of be-
ing put into the pockets, $3.50.
Secondsclass, crying not too loudly, but
and insupportahly, -.
Third class, full squaller, with very
and aggravatirg voice Of Eve &C,
taves, SO.
The same, arranged IS . prompt repeater,
$l2.
First>clsss, first quality, capable Of con-
tinued squalling, $l5."
A character for matrimony Is offered in