The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-09-23
WittiCisnlS.

Ol " lllalI us we We Hlleu lllln.
Editors ought to be able to live very
cheap-they get bored for nothing.
Why is Canadal like courtship? Be-
cause it borders on the United States
Why are teeth like verbs? Because
they are regular irregular and defec-
tive.
GA laugh" says Charles Lamb, sis
worth q hundred groans in any state of
the market.
Prizefghters never enters the ring
in anger without doing their best to
mawlify each other.
Queen Victoria's pastry cooks are
like the Canadas because they are their
Majesty's dough mnions.
A writer on school discipline says: ::
Without liberal use of the rod il is
impossible to make boys smart"
An artist recently painted winter
scene so true to nature that child, that
Il child which slept near it, was nearly
frozen to death.
Excited Frcnchman at Niagra Falls
"Ah! dis is de grand spektakal su-
parb Magnilque! BY gar, he is come
down first strate!'
I An Italian in Cincinnati was laughed
at for his broken English, and replied
testify: "You laugh at my Ingleese!
You speak Italyong make you seek"
"Where shall | put this paper SO as
to see it tomorrow inquired Mary
Ann of her brother Charles, "On the
looking glass; - was the reply.
Mythology tells us that 10 died be-
cause of her intense love OF Jupiter,
but the charm Of the romantic story has
been destroyed by chemist discover
ing iodile of potassium.
A Southern edito. evidently hcnpeck
ed says: ''il in our schooldays the rulc
Of three is proverbally trying, how
much harder in after life is the rule OF
one!'
Who says that man will have the
power to fly? A scientific friend Of
ours has so far solved the problem as
to be able with the greatest ease to
skim over newspaper.
A little boy was munching bit Of
gingerbread his mother asked who
cave it to him, "Aliss johnson gave it
to me- "And did you thank her for
| it?' "Yes did but | didn't tell her
So"
"Maclin was once annoyed at Foote's
laughing and talking just rs the form
er was about to begin lecture. "Wcll
sir you seem to be very merry there; ;
but do you know what 1 am going to
say now?" ask Macklin, "No sir"
said Foote; ''pray do your
A German shoe maker who had I'M
dertaken to make a pair of boots for q
gentleman of whose financial integrity
he had considerable doubt, replied
when asked for the articles, "Der poots
ish not quite done, but der beel ish
made out"
During an examination Of black
servant in Catechism, he was asked by
the clergyman. what he was made of,
"Of mud, massa," was the reply, on
being told he should say, "Of dust"
he answered "no massa it no do, no
stick togedder."
Sheridan once said to Ersklne "Ah,
Tom had / stuck to the law ! might
have been what you are: but hang it
Mrs. 5. or myself was always obliged
to write for our leg or shoulder of NUT
ton" "Ah," said Erskine, Il always
heard your literature was n joint con-
Germ.
A Scottish nobleman one day listed
o lawyer at his Office, in which, at the
same time, there was a blazing fire,
which led him to exclaim, "Mr -
your Office is rs hot as an oven." 80
it should be, my lord" replied the law
yer as il is here make my bread"
A young man at New York desert
bing his father as being one of the
most powerful men in the States, de-
clared as proof OF the fact, that his pa
rent once knocked down q whole row
of houses at one go. He omitted, how
ever, to say that the individual posses
sing such powers was an auctioneer.
"Awr' exclaimed an English cock
ney to Western traveller in England