Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-11-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

WELL "PosTED THE telegraph.
COOP Stock ACTORs-Vanderb and
Fisk.
MEN OF MARK-Those who can't write
their own names.
Is 1T necessary to have wings to fly into
passion?
WHY is the word Yes" like mountain !?
Because it's an assent.
FACTS prove that the man who insures
his life is more likely to live to an adj
vanced age than he who neglects to do so.
Insure in the Washington and enjoy life.
No MAN in the nation is more andebted
to the people than 1 am" said On old
their money have you taken"
~ AM certain, wife, that am right, and
that your are wrong; I'll bet my ears on
it." Indeed, husband, you shouldn't
carry betting to such extreme lengths"
"How CAME such a greasy mess in the
oven?" said a fidgety old spinster to her
maid ofall-work. Why" replied the
girl, the candles fell into the water, and
put them in the oven to dry"
WHEN an ill-natured fellow was trying
to pick quarrel with peaceable man,
the latter said " never had fuss except
with one man; he was buried at four
o'clock; it is now half-past three"
If it is wise to insure your house, where
the chances are only one to a hundred
that it may burn down, it is wise to insure
your life, which must certainly end-you
know not how soon. Insure in the Wash
ington Life Insurance Company.
"MY dear Lucy, I am surprised at your
taste in wearing another woman's hair
on your head" said Smith to his wife
My dear Tom," replied the wife, Il am
equally astonished that you persist in
wearing an other sleeps wool on your
back"
A TRICKY politician, who was noted for
never doing anything without a sinister
purpose, having died, the clergyman who
preached his funeral sermon said thai it
would have been great consolation to
the friends of the deceased, if they could
have ascertained his motive in thus sud-
denly leaving them.
THE DIFFERENCE
g Saratoga and Long Branch-you have seen them"
Said Charlie one morning to Joe;
PRAY tell me the difference between them,
Quoth Joe, s'Tis the easiest matter
At once to distinguish the two
At the one you go into the water,
At the other 1t goes into your
SALES OF Books AT THE WEsT-The
entire book trade of Chicago, including
that small portion of the stationery trade
which is done by the book houses, nearly
reaches $3,000,O00 per year. OF the
unabridged dictionaries, Griggs & Co. sell
annually 1000 copies of Webster and
about 25 of Worcester. Chicago Ecensng
Post, Oct. 10, 1869.
GIVE way for the postmistress of a small
town out on the plains. She needs no in
PRODUCTION other than the following ex-
tract from her first quarterly report to the
department: "For weeks past I have
slept with a six-shooter at my bedside and
a carving-knife under my pillow, expect
ing at break-o' day the Indians would
come for my scalp, but all of this has not
been half so harrassing to my mind as the
making out of one quarterly report"
A PROSPEROUS old grocer of a certain
city having been advised to give his son a
college education, did so. After the young
man had graduated, his father sent him to
| New Orleans to look after his "sugar in
terests;" and, on reading letter from
him, he exclaimed to the gentleman who
had induced him to send his son to col
lege, "Just look here, now, and see how
you've made me throw away my money
on this boy, for, after all his college larnin,
| he spells Shugdr without an h, every time p