North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-09-08

Fat Men.
Tragedy and Comedy may be typi6ed
by shape, as well as by actions and by
countenances. In the drama of life, fat
men range themselves on the side of the
comic, thin men on the side of the ira
gic. A fat man is the embodiment of
an unconscious joke. He expresses
helpless merriment. His chuckles are
more provocative of laughter than the
aptest hilarity Of the thin man. His
very rage is burlesque of the passion
of anger. Those with an eye to the
comic cannot long be in the presence of
fat man without understanding how
perversely Nature goes to work when
she is resolved to raise the continuous
laugh. There is hardly a situation in
life which does not confront the fat man
like an exigency, to deal with which,
without covering himself with ridicule,
it is necessary for him to practise the
most painful caution. We have seen
what it is to watch Pickwick, who was
fat man, chasing his hat. We know
what it is to watch fat man pursue an
omnibus, and maintain his balance when
the vehicle starts of, whilst gazing with
passionate comicalness around for seat.
TO laugh at his misfortune is but ignoble
merriment; yet had the boys who shout
ed at Elisha for his bald head, grinned
at him only for his fairness, we should
have held the manner in which Heaven
avenged the ridicule of the prophet to
have been mercilessly severe. Fat men are
excellent companions. Nature makes
them amusing without compelling them
to bring their mental powers into play.
They have no need to talk. It is suf-
fcient for them to move, and chuckle,
or drop something that must be picked
up. To be sure, all fairness docs not
come from overlooking, though good
deal of it does. Men whose sensuality
has layered their bodies with fat, deserve
to be laughed at. 1t is the penalty they
should be made to pay for their glut-
tony. And We suspect that their fellow
men understand this right of retribution;
for it is certain that there is seldom any
conjunction in the laugh raised at fat
man. Men who have small appetites
and are yet fat, who would give their
fortunes to be thin, but who are branded
with obesity, are to be pitied, if you
like; yet, since they share in the in
trinity of those others whose infrmity
you cannot but laugh at as the fruit Of
gluttony, they must suffer from the re-
semblance, by the same law that makes
a man Stunned whose father was hang
ed, or that causes every man to be de-
ceitful in the eyes Of a woman who has
been wronged by one man. Though
fairness is a thing to which a sense of
merriment always attaches itself, it is
curious to note that, as a rule, fat men
occupy positions whose dignity one
would think is of too precarious a kind
to suffer even the contingency of a
laugh. But give us to do with fat men.
In business matters they are far more
trustworthy than thin men. Recognizing
their physical indignities, it is possible
that by integrity and the exercise of
honor they hope to attach to themselves
the dignity Of virtue and of honor to
balance their stomachic failings. 1t is
not of,en that we find men submitting
cheerfully to the misfortunes which
they themselves have accumulated; and
yet it is not unlikely that the cause of
the fat mans persistent cheerfulness is
the knowledge that he is the provoker
of his own ridicule, and had best there-
fore meet the derision of the world with
serenity. Certain it is, that of every
hundred fat men, ninety, at least, will
be the first to laugh with with you at
their fairness. Let fat man bundle
into an omnibus or a railway car VOL
emily painting, and he will not hesitate
to apologize for his snorting respiration
by significantly patting his stomach, as
much as to say, '"This is because l am a
fat man, Sir" Leta fat man run against
you, or raise the table and break few
glasses in rising from his chair, or fear
fully squeeze you in crowd, or catch
hold Of you to support himself in going
down stairs, and, if he does not actually
tell you SO in words, his apologetic fat
face is laughably significant of the as
aurance that all this would not have
happened had he not been fat. Fat men
sre not ashamed of their fatness; but
they are certainly not proud of it. The
enormous popularity Of Banting and his
remedy was significant enough of the
sense Of oppression and the desire of re-
lease that haunted and permeated fat
society. But, had Banting's receipt
proved successful, we confess we should
have been very sorry. Considering what
little humor there really exists in life
for the masses, We should certainly de-
plore the loss of cause of mcrriment
which all men can enjoy. The people
must be amused, and it is well to re-
member that everybody is not a Hood,
capable of extracting laugh from an
epitaph. We should have cursed Bant-
ing had he removed from our streets,
our theatres, our public vehicles, the
joke that is perpetual, the joke that can
make the most melancholy laugh, the
joke, in word, that, being epidemic, is
national in its value and perennial in
its influence.
"The party of moral ideas" is torn
with discussions, and full of troubles.
NoIl -