Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1869-09-17
r rEF.uONT JOKER Nv THE
.TR.UI'.


morous and pathetic, occurring during the
'late unpleasantness," have found their
way into the public prints, but large ma
iority of them necessarily remain unknown
save by few personal friends Of the actors
andnarrators. We find in recent number
of the New England Homestead the follow
ing reminiscence of the sayings and dongs
of one Of those original characters, who
though by no means abundant even in
suggestive of shrewd dealing, quaint hu-
NOR, and an adaptability to outward cir
cumslances that leads him to put the best
face upon every discouragement, and
"never say die" 1t may not be inappro-
priae to mention that the hero of this
sketch is worthy mechanic, now a resi-
dent of Brattleboro, and that the incidents
narrated are in the main correct, as testified
by many of his companions in arms:
The life of our mess was Roscoe -,
Jolly, wide-awake Vermonter, who didn't
believe in putting down the rebellion by
means of dress parades or fancy balls, and
who had most supreme contempt for the
white glove and polished boot gentry who
made themselves so conspicuous in camp
and so scarce on the field. Speaking after
the manner of men, Roscoe was "always
loaded" He was never hit but spark
flew, and usually shower of them greeted
the p2Iucky wight who presumed to stir
himup.
He had the misfortune to chang fire. in
OiyipU i1ttnronca tn bio rapo rtoac aSpociolIv
when little excited, but when they were
coined and finally dropped, they were gem
uino gold, and never short weight.
On one occasion he was doing fatigue
duty, which in this case meant cutting
down trees and clearing away distractions
in order TO give the artillery clean sweep,
and while thus employed shot from the
rebel lines hard by struck the tree upon
w,Nch he was at work and cut off a portion
/. ~ s,ye top, which came crashing 10 the
gvo@ @hd. This unwarrantable interference
Wa pot to be tolerated for moment and
Ro-soo, turning toward the rebel camp,
and striking defiant attitude, exclaimed,
"S-s-ee here now, l was d-ddetailed to
c-c-cut down this tree myself"
At another time, while employed in the
cook house, three large kettles of beans
were hanging over the fire, nearly ready to
be dishod out to the hungry boys who were
standing "eXpectant by" waiting for the
summons to partaRo of the soldiers favor
ite ration, when a stray ball unluckily
came that way, and in trice every kettle
was sent flying through the air, and their
contents scattered broadcast. The boys
scattered TO, but they were too well used to
war to mind such trifles much, and quickly
rallied as they heard the well known voice
of the sub-cook calling, "F-f-iall in for
your b-b-beans, boys!"
During the "On to Richmond" campaign
under Mcclellan, and before the succession
of bri liant victories which inaugurated
this movement had turned to an inglorious
and disastrous retreat, we were following
up an advantage gained in a slight skir-
mish with the enemy, and in the course OF
the pursuit Roscoe picked up gun which
had ben abandoned by a rebel in his hasty
flight. The captain noticing the action, and
not wishing TO have his men overburdened
with ueless material at such a time, ex-
claimed rather testify, "Throw that gun to
h-r Dur joker, not relishing the idea OF
giving up his plumber so easily, replied
"N-n-never mind, Captain, we're g-going
right there; / can t-t-take it along just as
well as Iot.'
But every man sooner or later meets
his match, and our mess-mate once met
his. Ithappened in this way: A favorite
pastime with the boys was wrestling, and
We had in our company but few who
could keep on their pins" better than
Roswell. One morning when the compa
ny had assembled as usual, to witness ol
partake in the struggle for superiority
and our friend had by master stroke o
dexterity or good luck remained master o
the ring, like the hero of old, he cast hi
egs-rHsund for other conquests, and NIGH
have sept that he saw them not, only tina
; he perceived rare bit of fun in prospect
which he proceeded at once to develop
Among the spectators was new acquisi
ton % our company in the person of I
: contraband, who came within our lhes
| day ortwo previous, and had at once beel
appropriated by our captain, and detailed
I tn do heavy duty in and around the cool
bonso This ebony individual, Jannar b.
name, was apparently very much interest
cd in the proceedings on the occasion al
r ludod 10. and when the ring had been clear
/ ed Of all competitors, Roswell immediate
f " bounced upon Jannar, and despite hi
loud and earnest protestations, drew hir
a inside aided by those around, who now Dc
a gan to anticipate rare sport. "D,dont
o scared, I'm only g-g-going to g-slve you
a lesson in s-s-scienee," said Roscoe "uol
$ ra mighty, massa," plead poor Jennar, III
@ dis Niger 90. Don't know nuihh po'
v dat are no how. 81 w-won't hurt you,
p said his tormontor; 'j-j-just watch ana st
o how d-d-do it :" and he commencou
Y execute a variety of scientific movement
which caused Jannar to open his eyes
+ their utmost oxtent. "T-t-then w-wheh
10 do so, y-y-you put your foot round lh-.h
i way" "Nes, massa," said the negro D
& being very stupid, ho used the wrong lo'
d and the jokist measured his length III
@ instant. Gathering himself up alniu u
l. shouts OF the crowd, and with the imnte
possible suspicion that ho had SOFA MI
n self he made an attempt to finish his
a structions in ''science" by flooring or
A th or grounding his pupil, and by Il