davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25
TERMS OF ADVERTISING.
Transient advertisements. SO Gents per
square for each insertion. The space OF r'ght
lines in this type, constitutes square
STANDING ADVERTISEMENTS
AMUSING PARAGRAPHS.
A little nonsense now and then,
Is relished by the wisest men.

ADVANTAGE OF THE CLAss1Cs-Gene-
raj Jackson was once stumpping it"
in Tennessee, and labored a long time
in vain to get bis audience electrified.
1t was no 60; they WOULDN'T cheer worth
a cent. Finally, one of his friends be-
hind him whispered Tip 'em some
Latin, General they won't be satis-
fed without it :" "Old Hickory
was for a moment nom plussed but hap
peniug to remember few phrases hs
knew, he Strengthened himself up, wave1
bis hand majestically and shouted,-E
Plur'dus Imam Multuns IN PaTvo !!
I'D Quod Damnuns Pro Bono Pxb-
lsco, vers3s Ven,, Tidi, Iic;s Qgaw-
tu,s, Q3antum, Quanswas
The effect was marvellous. Men
clasped each other frantieally around
the waist, while tears streamed down
their brawny checks. Then, from that
dense throng rolled shout Of applause.
which was Leard for miles around.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

During the eclipse an affectionate
young couple were on the top Of a house
in Louisville. AS the darkness iu-
creased, Celestina seized the arm of
Charles Augustus and whispered :
Dearest, l am so frightened :" To
which the noble Charles touchingly res
responded, in tender but quaking &C
cents, as be soothed her fears, while he
folded her to his manly bosom j." Let
this (the moment of the total eclipset
be the happy moment IA kiss) which
gives her Charles (another) the hand Of
(once more and altogether) his Celistina."
Exit moon.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A Coop IDEA, BUT Too LATE.-The
old gentleman came home from church
enthusiastic. He found Frank insti-
eating small dog and large cat to
enter the ring. Why, Frank" he
said, I" how could you stay away from
church, / have heard one of Che most
delightful sermons eyer delivered before
a christian society. 1t carried me to
the gates of heaven" We'll. [ think, -
replied Frank, "you had better have
lodged in, for you will never have such
another chance.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

dustrial recupera.ion, is an indication
that that section will enter very readily
into the economical politics of the new
era; and its interests must plant it firm
~ on the Democratic side. The Re-
publ'cans in their revolutionary recon
structlon' will find that they "went
forth tor wool and came back shorn;"
that, instead of making the Southern
States allies OF their party, they have
made them more certainly it's enemies
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25
The Doctor drove thoughtfuily on.

At recent meeting Of a parish,
solenn, strightbodied, and most exsm-
plary deacon submitted report in writ
ing, of the destitute widows and others
standing in need of assistancs ia the
parish.-". Are you sure, deacon, thas
you have embraced all the widows T."
He said, II believed | had dona 90;
but if any have been omitted, the omis-
sion can easily be corrected" He did
not take at all.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

QUAKER CoURrsHlP.-Martha, dost
thou love me ?" asked Quaker youth
Of one q: whose shrine his fondest hearts
feelings had been offered up why
Seth" answered she, I'VE are COM
manded to love one another, are We not p
"Ah, Martha but dost thou regard ms
with that feeling the world calls lows ,"
/ hardly know what to tell thee, Seth ;
I have tried to bestow my love on all ;
but ! have sometimes thought, perhaps,
that thou vast getting NOSE than thy
share"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

1t is related of the witty Dominican
monk, Booco, that be had great dislike
totobacco land when once preaching to o
crowd of Spanish sailors hs aseounded
them by telling them that there were
no Spanish saints in heaven. A few,
he said, had been admitted, but they
smoked SO many cigars that they made
the Holy Virgin sick, and st. Peter sss
his wits to work to get them out. At
length be proclaimed that bull fight was
to be held outside the gates Of Paradise.
Thereupon every Spanish saint ran ofS
to see the fight, and St. Peter immedR-
ately closed the gate, and took care Ne
yer to admit another Spaniard.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25
The Pennsylvania Mdnamg Tru-
gedy.

The New York journal of Commerce,
in an article on the subject of the res.
pons;bi ity for the sad accident at the
Avondale coal mine, says very Justly !:
1T fills the heart with anguish to
think OF 200 souls, full of life and hope.
suddenly confronted with the great
destroyer aud burned Or stifed to death,
far beyond the aid of human arm, and
dying with their miseries unsoothed by
the tender ministrations of families and
friends. For the sorrowing wives and
children Of the unhappy mea Of Avon
dale the keenest pity will be widely
felt, and sweet charity will do all it
can to relieve the distress in which they
are plunged. Commiseration will also
be felt for the owners of the mine, who,
BY this sudden blow, may have lost a
large part of their property. And yet
it 10 our plain duty, for the protection
Of other mines and other miners, to i'm
press upon the public the one obvious
moral of the dreadful story, and to
reafirm that the responsibility for such
occurrences chief rests upon employ
ers and employed together. Had the
men in tbs Avondale mine not been on
au idle strike for over three months,
resuming work only last Thursday; had
the mine not been neglected during that
long period; had the strikers devoted
quarter of the attention to the condition
Of the mine and the prevention of ac-
cidents that they did to forcing an in.
crease of wages had the mine owners
been anything like as solicitous for the
safety Of their property and the miners
as they were Of getting higher prices for
their coal, the Avondale horror might
never have affrighted the world, and the
poor miners would be today peacefully
pursuing their useful avocation in the
full enjoyment Of health. 1t is pain
ful duty to say, in the face of such
misery, that it was brought upon the
sufferers by their own thoughtlessness;
bat solemn concern for the interests of
The living eompels its utterance."
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

DR.. G.. Of Sycamore, Ill.,, 10 q capital
hand at a joke. Riding in the country
one day, he saw sign upon q gate-post,
reading thus :-"This farm for Sail."-
Stopping his horse, he hailed a little
old woman who stood on tjp.toe hang
ing ont clothes.
"IPay, madame, when IL this &aru
going to "saa."
Just 50 soon, sir. replied thsoN lsdy,
placing her thumb to her nose, ' 40 any.
body comes along who can raise sbe
wind y"
The Doctor drove thouehtfufIy On,
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A drunken passenger on a railroad
train was very anxious to get of and
take drink. The conductor restrained
him until, at one station, he shouted.
Le'me Ct out matter Of great i'm
portance to me th't l Ct out! It's for.
tune to me :" How so?" asked the
conductor, Why, ye see, if git out
and take on'y two glasses mo- (hic) /
shall own the whole dam ra'road."
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

During ths war, aud old woman wen
into village shop to buy half q pound
of candles. Being told the price. she
found it more than she had been used
to, and asked the reason. The shoR.
man said it was because Of tho war on
which the old woman exclainsd' Deary
me, sir, have they taken to fight BY can
dla-lipht."
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A boy, Eve years of age, having
stolen a can OF milk, bis mother took
him to task, with moral suasiop, and
wound up her discourse by exelai.uing :
What in the world were you going to
do with the milk, anyhow 7" II was
going to steal dog to drink twas the
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A pupil in o defamation. having
been told to gestieulats according to the
sense. IL. commencing piece with % The
conait lifts its fiery tail, }" innoeently fif.
ted the tail of his coat and looked around
for applause.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A grotesque simils in something very
expressive. We may mention the com
parison of an American engins-driveT
who, in discussion as to speed, said he
ran his train 90 fast that the telegraph
poles on the side tract looked like . 6ne-
fnoth comh"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A striking illustration Of the saying
that the pith Of lady's letter 10 in Tho
postscripts, was that Of young lady
who, having gone out 10 India. and
writing home to her friends, concluded
with the following Words" p. s. You
will SEQ by my signature that ] am mar
riad -
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

NtNcglEY &$TAeG,
RECEIVING & FegWARDSNG MERCHANTS,
:; WASHING TON, La,

r.. d" WASHING TON, la,
(Ar THE oLD STAND or HEscKLEy SON.
A RE ready 10 receive and forward ell freight
- that ma9 be consigned to them, and will
pay tho highest market prices for cotton, or
with advances provisions and money On che
Same, IL shipPed through them.
Losis Stagg has also opened o separate
GROCERY STORE at the same place. where
he 10 ready to furnish Groceries, Plantation
Supplies. Begging, Tles. Wagons, &C., at
New Orleans prices. -
Washington, L.. October 10th. 1868.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A white boy met colorsd lad the
other dav. and asked him what he had
snch a short nose for. II spect, 80 1t
won't poke itself into other peoples
business.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

A MISTAKE No DoUBr.-Gsnerab
Butler was taking tea at the house of
a lady friend 10 Washinton, the other
day. The General seemed to look as
though something was lacking. and the
following dialogue took place: Hostess
"Can it be possible, General, yon have
no spoon e. Butler, rising Indignantly.
and holding out both hands mo mad
am if you don't believe it, you can
search me-"
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

Thin man So" Boy what's that hun
cry dog following me for T. Boy
" Hs thinks you're a boue, | reckon, -
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25
9petrp.
~ -


Call Me when Breakfast 10 Ready.
SONG.
/.
Call me when breakfast is ready
O mother! don't call me before;
Do not deny me the pleasure
Of modera@ rest, 1fmp!ore.
Eight hours of sleep are too little A
For delicate maidens like me;
l Dearer. by far, is my pilloV
Than cup of the daintiest tea.
Mother, cannot endure it,
This getting up early's bore
Call me when breakfast is ready;
Oh! please do not call me before.
Coll me Chen breakfast is ready
0 neither! don't call me too soon.
Shopping, of course, needs attention,
But that can be done before noon.
Talk of the folly of fashion,
lido u8t consider it so;
Parties must not be neglected,
And style is important, you know,
VxOtact ~ W@hco hnS ~ Aoaso1
To think of your step at my door;
Call me when breakfast is ready;
Oh! please do not cali inc before.
.. III. 49,
Call me when breakfast is ready
Oh! don't call me early, pray.
Doctors advise to be quiet,
MI spine is affected, they say.
sleev 10 potent elixir, 4
a. And better than drugs OF the knife
Why, then, 90 much In hurry,
Since rest 10 the solace of life?
Mother, do have some compassion,
And chide my late rising no more;
Call me when breakfast is ready;
Oh! please do not call me before.
".
Call me when breakfast ID ready
o mother! think I've been told,
Multitudes struggle for riches,
And barter their comfort for gold.
Hypocrites often rise early
Their motives are perfectly plain:
Sundays they always deep later,
Because they have nothing to gain.
Mother! / cannot endure it,
This getting up early's bore
Call me when breakfast Is ready;
Bot rleaae do not call nae before
10. IL. #. in Hearth and Home.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

Brigham Young conducts BIZ ecsna'
bial affairs on the pfiaeiple Of large
, ,nl small rr,,r.t,cts."
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25
HOUSE-PAINTING

PAPER-EK u r. GIN G..
VEvHE undersigned respectfully informs bio
= friends aud the public general yBthat he
is always prepared 30 do house.paiadng, pa-
psr-hanging, glazing, C. with promptnesss
cha puhlic pasnonage.~ OrdeEs, lsa as c. May
o's Drug store. will be attended 70
J CUMMINGS
opelousas. January 10th, 1869.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

AIRS. ANNA EasNCKLEY.
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

Z. T GOLsAS. RoBT. w. ooLsAN.
T.. z. GOLSAN G. CO.,
4 cOTroN FACTORS
AND
ComHmamsaoao 1GerohaAts,
No. 80 PRRDKDO STREET,
49,, IN NEW ORLEANS.
~ We are prepared TO make liberal ad-
vances of Cash. Baggiug, Ties and plantation
Supplies on eonsignments to the above house
--andr will puschase cotton ID New Orleans
quotations. alter deducting acthal expenses for
the shipment Of the same.
..s'.. a. w. A. ROBERTSON a. co.
Washington, La, Sept 26. 1857
The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1869-09-25

Call Me when Breakfast 10 Ready.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
Feline Serenaders.

The local of the Cleveland Herald,
discussing the, feline serenaders, says !:
ga male cat sees an acquaintance in the
next yard, and asks permission to come
over in something like the following /:
'Ma-ri-er may l c-o-m-e Oyer to
y-o-u-r-e h-o.u-s-e The request and
the answer are pitched in high key,
and we have noticed that it don't make
bit, of difference whether permission
is accorded or not, Thomas walks right
over. The two then perch themselves
on fence, always taking great care to
get directly under the window of a
bedroom, and then they discuss the
topics of the day. AS their conversa-
ton goes on they get excited, and each
advances his or her opinions in emphat-
ic language. The discussion is sure to
interest all the cats in the immediate
ncighborhood, and they make a straight
wake for the rendezvous"
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
T E R M 81
THE-Posr rs PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY,
At Two Dollars u Ycnr, Payable
fI 1910 IUt I'm Advance. 'N1 N'HHN

nD- No attention paid to orders forthe paper
unless accompanied by the Cash.
i Advertisements will be charged $3.50 per
quare of ten lines, or less, for the first inser-
ion, and 10 cents for each continuance. a
LIBERAL deduction made to parties who advcr-
tise by the year. .tI II'A '''
NEi5- Persons sending advertisements should
mark the number oftiines they desire them in
serted, or they will be continued until forbid
and charged accordingly. ....-
Transient advertisements must be paid for
at the time of insertion. ~
Announcing names Of candidates for office,
$500. Cash, in all cases.
Obituary notices over five lines, charged at
regular advertising rates. =. H
All communications intended to promote the
private ends or interests Of Corporations, So
cietics. or individuals, will be charged as
advertisements.
Jon WORK. such as Pamphlets. Circulars,
Cards. Blanks, Handbills. etc., will be exc
cuted in good style and ut reasonable rates.
All letters addressed to the Proprietor will
be promptly attended to.
Communications. to secure insertion, must
be accompanied bv the name Of the authors.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
BOstOn---P riZe Fight.

The following appears as q telegraph
dispatch from Boston:
A bona fide prize fight, according to
the rules of the ring, except that hair
pulling and biting were allowed, took
place between two women in Somer-
vile, Massachusetts, at all early hour on
Monday morning. The contestants, on
their appearance in the ring, were clad
in the conventional costume of CATERS,
stockings and drawers, wearing moth
ing else to speak of, beyond waterfalls
and Magenta curls. AT the very first
round one of them, named Sarah Chap
man, became frightened and jumped
out Of the ring, but her hackers drove
her in again and she eventually won the
fight, at the twenty first round. over her
opponent, Mollie Jones, both of them
having been severely punished. Mollie
begged her seconds in Gods name to
take her away, and so the fight and mo-
ney, $50, was awarded to Sarah.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
"Cementing a Happy UniOn.'

The Now York JournaI or Commerce
is calling upon Congress, to give prac-
tical effect to President Grants aspira-
ton that all things now may conducc
to the "cementing u happy Union."-
However, says the editor:
"It is Of no use for President Grant,
any more than for the rest of us, to
ycarn for the happy consummation of
a cemented Union so long as the Sem
ate and House overflow with malice
and all uncharitableness towards q ma
jority of Southern ex-rebels who wish
to be restored to their old relations
1t will be only a mockery to offer pray
ers to God for His aid in this respect so
long as the nation tolerates a majority
of men in Congress who are at war
with the first principles Of Christianity
in its application to this earthly life
the forgiveness of offences and the cx-
ercise of love towards our neighbors."
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
A Single Handful Of, Manure.

A single handful of manure put in
to a hill of corn will often make the
difference between four or five little
and six or eight great plump
ears that will she'll their bulk of sound
corn. a thousand handfuls count up
heavily in the autumn crib. How many
handfuls Of manure are daily lost in
your stocky ard that might be saved in
nice order by a little care and .heaping
up, and covering from washing rain?
These handfuls of mannre are more val
liable TO the cultivator than The separa-
rate grains of gold that the MINER with
careful toll, gathers and washes from
the earth and sand banks. He hunts,
gathers and saves them all, and thus ac-
eumuTates his pile Philosophical, sue
cessiul cultivators can see the glitter of
gold even in the manure heap; they
only wait little longer than the miner
for the pure gold to be washed out by
the growing process instead of in the
wash-pan. A word to the wise'is suf-
ficient.' ...,.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
The Forcing System.

Here is paragraph from II Northern
paper worth noticing:
The "forcing" system, adopted in
schools, or, as an Albany editor terms
it, our steam and lightning mode of
teaching, is beginning to excite some of
the attention it ought to receive from
the philanrhropical intelligence Of the
period. 1t gratifics arrant vanity, and
it also murders. AT recent school eX-
animation, a boy, not more than II or l3
years of age, was put through course
Of exercises in algebra. He "did" with
very great readiness perpleXing sums
which would have puzzled many man
who considers himselfa good accoun-
tant. But his pale, thin face, almost
destitute of color, and traced with blue
veins whose lines were painfully appa-
rent; his tired expression, and the heavy
lines under his eyes, told at what cost
of physical development his mental
powers must have been acquired. Such
sights in schools ought never to be seen.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
The Spring Time,

The New York cypress makes the
following parenthetical illusions to the
late cold snap: .p ..
Spring has come, cries jolly para
graphist. The. genial warmth (of coal
tires) is felt indoors; waters sparkle
and leap Gin iron pipes) down the hill
sides; the green grass is springing Gun
der the SNOWY; birds are singing Qn
cages); farmers have already commenc-
ed plOwing (out the roads, while some
of their sons are busy sowing (wild
OATS. The trees are filled with buds
and blossoms (of snoW). Bright, ethe-
real clouds (ofsnow) arc fiitting through
the sky. The lnrk's brilliant song (he's
almost frozen to death) is'heard IN the
morning. All nature rejoices and so do
we (that the snow isn't ten feet deepD
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19

aged BY this promise, n refugee rom ty-
ranny and q citizen Of the Uiiited States,
also by the order of d military COM
mandcr, given under the sanction of q,
cruel and deliberate edict of Congress,
had been denied the constitutional
right of liberty conscience; freedom
of the press and of speech; personal
freedom, freedom from military arrest
of being held to answer for crime only
upon presentment of an Indictment OF
trial by Jury; of the writ Of ha5eas Cor
pus, and the protection of q civil and
Constitutional Government. a citizen
thus deeply wronged, appeals to the
Supreme Court for the protection gtiHi'-
antecd by the organic law Of the land.
At once fierce and excited majority,
by the ruthless hand of legislative pow
or, stripped the ermine from the Judges,
| transferred thclsword of Justice 10 the
| General, and rcmanded the oppressed
citizen to degradation and bondage
worse than death. ''i r'..'..
Upon those who became young men
amid the sound of cannon and the din
Of arms, and who quietly returned to
the farms, the factories, and the schools
of the land will principally devolye the
I solemn duty of pcrpctuating the union
of the States, in defense of which hun
dreds Of thousands of their comrades
/ expired, and hundreds of millions of
national obligations were incurred. b "A
manly people will not neglect the train
ing necessary to resist oppression: but
| they should be jealous lest the civil be
made subordinate to the military ele-
ment. III ~. ....,. .,...
| The generation just beginning to use
the ballot, it is believed. only need that
their attention should be called TO these
considerations to Indicate by their votes
that they wish their. representative TO
observe all the restraints which the peo-
ple, i'll adopting the, Constitution, in
tended to impose on them. r.. ~,
Calmly reviewing my administration
of the Government, ! feel that, with a
sense of accountability to God having
conscicntiously cndeavorod to discharge
= my whole duty, have nothing to re-
gret Events have proved the correct
ness OF the policy set forth in my first
and subsequent messages. The woes
which have followed the rejection OF
forbcarance, magnanimity and conStitu-
!, tional rule are known and dcplorcd by
the nation. r..
1t is matter OF pride and gratlllca.
ton in retiring from the most exalted
position in the gift of the people. to
feel that in long. arduous and eventfu
public life, my action has never been in.
fuenccd byqa desire, for gain. and that
can in all sincerity inquire, whom have
1 deirauded? Whom have ! oppressed
or at whose hands, have l received any
bribe to blind my eye herewith :? r,
No responsibility for wars that have
been waged or blood that has been sle(
,, rests upon me. My thoughts have beer
those of peace, and my efforts have eve1
been to allay contentious among my
countrymcn. Forgetting the past le
us return to the first principles of th(
Government, and, unfurling the banner
of our country, inscribe upon it in incf
faceablc characters, ''The Constitution
and the Union-one and inseparable.
[Signcd] ANDREW JOHNSON. f
WASHINGTON, ID. c., March 4, 1869.
The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1869-03-19
Ages Of the Presidents.

The youngest man elected President
of the United States is General Grant,
who will be AZ years old OH the 22d of
April next. Washingtonwas 81, John
Adams 81, Thomas Jefferson 81, Madi-
son 5S, Monroe 5S, John Quincy Adj
ans As, Andrew johnson over GO, Mar
tin Van Buren, 81, William Henry Har-
rison 81, James X. Polk 40, Zachary
Taylor 63, franklin Pierce As, James
Buchanan G5, and Abraham lincoln
nearly 81, when they were elected.