The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1869-10-12

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Columns, orches, Jy.amiis tctm are they u
hfGps Of sdnd md their cp''uphs bW ciarGc'er
'rr''ten IN he dus' -jr7iag
Epitaphs which are written in memory
Of some deceased friend, and which vary
from the simple and appropriate announ.
cement of name, age and death, to the
pompous and lengthy description Of vir.
tues and good deeds, too many of which
are often imaginary, have been known
and written for many centuries.
In relation to their age Camden says
that the invention of them is referred t.
the scholars of Linus, (who is said to have
lived about 1880 b. CO. who first be-
walled their master when he was slain, in
doleful verses, then called of him d1hnnm,
afterwards Eptdphia, because they were
first sung at burials, and afterwards en-
graved upon the sepulchres. Camden says
that they were invented on account of
the presage or forefeeling of Immortality
implanted in all men naturally.
Ono of the laws of Plato was that an
epitaph should be comprised in four vcr-
ses, and the most ancient, especially
Crock, were written in Elegaic verse.
The Lacedemonians reserved the honor
Of epitaphs for brave men and chaste wo-
men, and monuments were generally crec-
by the wayside to remind travellers of the
fact that they, too, were mortal.
1t is fact which is not creditablc to
mankind in general, that many of the
cpitaphs, as Byron intimates, are false
they enumerate and praise the virtues of
the dead, who, in many cases, were as
liable to failings and as prone to wander
as some Of their less fortunate associates
who had no friend or admircr to hand
down the record of their good deeds to
postcrity, and make no mention of their
bad ones Their faults in this respect
are admirably told by Goldsmith in the
following
" When the person is buried, the next
care is to make his epitaph they are gen.
erably rcckoned best which fatter most !;
such relations, therefore, as have received
most benefits from the defunct discharge
this friendly office, and generally hatter in
proportion to their joy. When we read
these monumental histories Of the dead, it
may be justly said "that all men are
equal in the dust y for they all appear
equally remarkable for being the most
sincere Christians, the most benevolent
neighbors, and the honestest men of their
time.
"To go through European cemetery
one would be apt to wonder how mankind
could have so basely degonerated from
such excellent ancestors. Every tomb
pretends to claim your reverence and re-
gret; some are praised for piety in these
inscriptions who never entered the temple
until they were dead some are praised
for being excellent poets, who were never
mentioned, except for their dullness while
living others for sublime orators, who
were never noted except for their impu-
dence; and othersstill, for military achieve
ments, who were never in any other
skirmishes but with the watch. Some
even made epitaphs fer themscver, and
bespake the readers good will. 1t were
indeed to be wished that every man would
early learn to make his own; that he
would draw it up in terms as fattering as
possible, and that he would make it the
employment of his whole life to deserve
it,"
In many cases, also, bad taste is shown
in the insertion, often unintentional, of
ludicrous or some comical al
lusion, when an epitaph should be solemn
and impressive, in order, as has been said
before, to put men in mind oft fact that
they,also, are mortal The requirements
of epitaph are thus stated by writer;
An epitaph ought to be short and
simple, containing merely the name, and
a brief character of the deceased. In the
case of persons of great eminence and no.
tority, the name, perhaps is of itself al
most sufficient but if the individual be
of less note, some more ample designation
is requisite. Labored characters, however,
and exaggerate representations of merit,
are misplaced on tombstone to real
worth and dignity they give no addition
al elevation, and when joined TO insignif-
cant names, they are apt to excite very
opposite feelings from those intended to
to be produced in the mind ofthc reader"
Among those epitaphs whose fault is
their comicaity are the following
" Here lyeth John Croker maker of believes
His craftes-master and king of good fellows
Yet when no came to the hour of his death
He that made believes, could not made breath"
" Here lycth Thom Nick, bodie
Who lived foole and dyed a nody. .
As for his soul ask them that can tell
Whether fooles soules so to heaven or hell
the following is upon an usurer
" Here lies ten in tho hundred
In the ground fast rammod.
Tis hundred to ten,
But his soul is damned"
Upon miser:
" Here lieth father Sparges
That died to save charges"
" Here lies buried beneath these stones
The beard, the flesh and all the homes
OF the Parish Clerk--old David Jones'"
-IIrerhdm CbUchydrd.
" Here lies the body of VIM. Dent
Death turned up his heels and away he went
Him shall never come again TO we
But we shall surely one day 60 to he.
Z" Here lies Dick and here lies he
-iar--Ilallsluge
.SicGHse1.
TOO much blood vein did bust
And stretched Tom Tucker down in the dust"
% Here lies James Virgins Undertaken,
Tow ovortaken by his Maker"
On the 10th n November
confounded piece Of timber
Came down bang slam,
And killed |. John Lamb"
- Here lies | at the chancel door,
Here lies because Is poor
Tho further in the more to pay,
But here lies as warm as they
"My wife is dead and here she lies
Nobody laughs nor nobody cries
Where she's gone, or how she fares
Nobody knows nor nobody cares
Here lies my wife, and Heaven knows
Not less for mine than her repose.
.. -Ahioa Churehgord