Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1869-03-06
StrnddHug the Br0omstick.

worthy the talents Of the cacographers,
and almost justices the internal murder
perpstrated on the dictionary spelling OF
Webster unabridged:
hev Just returned from Now York,
and | am happy to state tbat l heS nea
the plesure ov fecstin mi eyes on inc
yelosapeed. Az regards the moril kar-
acter or this new beest ov pray, heV
| cum to the ko~nclushin, from actual oo-
seryashun, that the exercise IL very in
terestin, while yurc ridin the v~slosapeed,
but when the velosapeed takes q notion
to ride you, / kant konsicnsiously assert
that | see ennything particularly exhil'
aratin about it. The mornin after | ar
riy in the grato city, | wuz walkin
round, lookin fur sum elephants ana
other gentil inseckts, and az wuz pas
| sin n buildin on the corner or Broadway
and a april stand, l heard q unusual
kommoshuu up stairs. "It's = ele.
phint," SEE I, and up | went. on ar
irwin at the top oy the bannisturs, i
opened the door oy the room from wien
the noise purceeded and walked in.
| Thare, for the fust time, | sweetly gazed
on the komikal ackshuns ov q skittish
little kuss, which | afterwards found
out wuz the velosapeea. Abouta dozen
oy individyuals wuz presint. Among
the rest wuz D solitary female, dressed
parshully in pantaloons her waterfall
he'd cum off, and sho looked kinder de-
mortified, as if she he'd done suthin she
wuz ashamed ov. Wun Teller wuz hold
in her up, and l herd him ax hur in
pentil tones if it hurt hur much. The
others wuz ockashunally THROWN sly
chances at her and lookin as if they wuz
very much amuzed at snthin which he'd
happind. l turned to II fnrrin lookln
man who stood neer me, and who
seemed to be a kind ov q master OF cere-
monies, and | axed him, az nodded
toards the young lady, what wnz the
matter with bur.
"Velosapeed," ses he, with a very
Frencbifde artieulashun.
"Sir," ses l, not understandin what
he meut.
lie looked sympathisinly in the d.
reckshun ov the girl, and respected, in
measured acksents:
"Ve-los-a-peed.'
"Did they ketch hur in the ackt?'
whispered, as | kast n oblong glanse at
the unfortinst female.
He shook hiz he'd, and smiliu, simply
reiturated:
"Volosapeed."
Just then a bystander stepped up and
informed me that the individyooal he'd
been talkin to wuz Il Parisyun, who he'd
cum over here to teech us Americans
how to ride horseback on u wheelbar-
row, and that he coodint speek lnglish
very foointly. He also told me that the
young lady with the MKT apparril wuz
a strong-miuded female, who wuz deter
mined to konker the unruly brute kslled
tho yelosapesd, and that she he'd in
serted hursolf into a pair Of pautaloons
expressly fur the ockashun, but he'd got
q bad fall the fust thing, which ac-
kouuted fur the disordered state Of hur
close. Aftur this satisfactory informa-
shuu, | took q genri,survey of the estab-
lishmout. On wun side ov the hall wuz a
man ridin q velosapeed, and on the
other side wuz a yelosOpeed lidin II
man. Wun follow he'd got the thing
under such perfect kontrol that he Good
fall on whichever side he pleesed with
out effort. IN. B.-This is a very de-
sirabul stage Of progress; it makes You
ware even. Fur the benefit ov those
who hev never seen it, | will undertake
a faint de~scripsbun ov this new and
useful animel: The yelosapeed, when
in moshun, looks like the front legs oy
two crazy wheelbarrows trying to climb
up a fat axe-handle simultaneously.
(See illustrated papers.) will not stop
too relate awl the nmusin axidcnts
which took place in the ridin school
durin mi stay; but will kontent miselt
with inforniu you ov what ockured TO
me that nite aftur went to the hotel.
Nv mind he'd been Almost oxcloosiyly
ockupied durin tho balance ov the day
thinkin ov the v~elosapeed. About
eleven o'clock, p. ~, | repaired TO mi
room, whit to bed, and wuz soon in the
arms ov the Murphys, NJ the poit gush-
ingly remarks. | drempt a hidyus dreem
Il drempt | wuz q lokul cditur. |
thought l he'd hired ost with the purpri.
etur ov the Brootal Beagle, and that
he'd boght q relosapeed to cnabul me to
gethsr news more rapider than wuz
otherwise possibul. drempt that mi
nobul steed wuz so fast that | Good ride
twenty-four hours into fuclfurity, and
thocht that the fust item which fur
nished TO the paper wuz n statement ov
q axiient which wuz to take place the
next day, and which red as folders:
ArrEysuuY.-A bewtiful and welthy
young lady, with raven ringlets, and
fingers or both bands, over whose
happy path the % IONS Of sixteen bum.
mcrs hev risen and set, will fall of
tho Brooklyn ferry boat, when half
way across the river, at . O'Clock pre-
cisely tomorrow afternoon.
A certain romantick youth, only 10
yeers old, with a mole on his left nose,
il hereby notified to get his dinuer
erly, put on hiG old close, leeve his
watch and pocket-book behind, take
the rite boat, and be reddy to jump in.
IN. B.--Keep cool and awl will be
well.1
drempt | brought the item to the
Office ov the Beagle, and wuz just goin
off to dinner when ] felt II prcsentimcnt
that q great murder wuz about to take
place ; so l thought wood just jump
aboard ov mi yelosapeed and ride into
fuchurity agin and git the pertickelars
ahed of mi kotemporarees. Well, |
immejidtly jumped on, whom discuv-
AIRED to mi horror that tho thing
woodn't go. Wuz it bawky? He'd it
went back on me? Wuz ] to be de-
prived or the pleasure ov seeing q man
killed? o, the horribul thought! |
done everything in mi power to start
it, but it woodn't bulge a inch. Just
as I wuz about shoutin, Con, on to
Richmond" l woke up and found mi
self a straddle ov the hind-board ov
the bed, with mi arm round the bed
post trying to induce it to carry me to
the sene of the 4th comm catastrophe
without delay. 1t is needless to re-
mark that the bed-post didn't 60. |
will not harrer up the publick soul BY q
narrashin ov the injuries sustained bi