The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-11-06

J
ney; and thus, in the course of one
eventful day,he risked life, saved a life,
made an impromptu marriage, and set out
on most unexpected wedding trip.
MARK TwAIN's HoRsE.-I have a
horse now by the name of Jerico. He is
a mare. l have seen remarkable horses
before, but none so remarkable as this.
wanted horse that would shy, and this
one fills the bill. l had an idea that shy
ing indicated spirit. If I was correct,
have got the most spirited horse on the
earth. He SHES at everything he comes
across, with the utmost impartiality.
He appear to have moral dread of
telegraph poles, especially and it is for
tunate these are on both sides of the road,
because, as it is now, l never fall off
twice in succession on the same side. IF
[ fell on the same side always, it would
become very monotonous after awhile.
This creature has scared at everything he
has seen to day, except hay-stack. He
walked up to that with an intrepidity
and recklessness that was astonishing
And it would fill any one with admira-
tion to see how he preserved his seh-pos-
session in the presence of the barley
stack.
This dare devil bravery. will be the
death Of this horse some time.
He is not particularly fast, but think
he will get through the Holy Land. He
has only one fault-his tail has been
chopped off, or else he sat down on it
some time or other, and he has to fight
|, Ill
well, though but when he tries to kick
fly off the top off his head with his hind
foot, it is too much variety. He is going
to get himself into trouble some day in
this way. He reaches round and bites
my legs too. / do not care particularly
about that, only do not like to see
horse too sociable.
[ think that the owner of this prize
had wrong opinion about him. i, He had
an idea he was one of those frey un-
tanned steeds, but he is not of that charac-
ter. [ know the Arab had this idea, be-
cause when he brought the horse out for
the first inspection in Beirout, he kept
jerking at the bride, and shouting Ara
bic Ho, will you Do you want to
run away, you ferocious beast, and break
your neck ?' When all the time the horse
was not doing anything in the world, and
only looked as if he would like to lean
against something and think.
THE MYSTERY SoLvED.-Mysterious
rappings proceed from the sub-derange-
ment and hyper-effervescsence of small
conical glandular bodies situated hetero-
geniously in the rotundum of the infe-
rior acephalocyst which, by coming in
unconscious contact with the etherization
of the FIVE superior processes of the DOR
sal yertebre, also results in tipplings J"
by giving rise to spontaneous combustion
with certain abnormal eyacuations of
multitudinous eclinorhycus becornus,
situated in various abdominal orifces.
The craps" occur from the ebilutions
structures; and the " tips" from the
thorax cartillaginous ducts, whenever the
contents are compressed by cerebral in
clination. All rapping media, therefore,
have the extraordinary affection, known
by the profession as cephalomatous, be-
ing in common phraseology, an elastic
obtuseness Of the superior hemispheres
of the cerebellous Whenever such pa
tients (termed inediums) arrange their
manni or cerebellous functions and pro-
truberanees in corpus juxtaposition with
table or other substance, moving occurs
as matter of compulsory necessity, to
wit: by an ejaculation of effervential
gases, generated by the decomposition OF
ascaris lumbricoides; which being regu-
lar descendants of the gymnotus electri-
Gus, perambulate misccllaneously through
the duodendum and the abdominal viscera
generally The vulgar theories and
anti professional hypothesis of spiritual
spasmodic action of the muscular system
or of electrical aura, in spontaneous dis
Judgement and pretermatural inhltration,
we pronounce delusive, and unhesitatingly
reject them in toto, as unhealthy excre-
tions and galvanic evolutions of diseased
and confused cerebellous glands, called,
by the uneducated chronological organs
or faculties Orange Chronicle.
Precisely. just our idee to a
dot; and thus presented, must appear
plain to every onprejudiced " mind.
DRuNKENNEss.-At the Trades Union
Convention held recently in London, the
following facts in regard to drunkenness
was brought out:
Every year upward of 922S 100000
are spent by the British for Intoxicating
| drink. "Spent," We say-how much Of
it is wasted2 How little there is OF il
that is wasted? And this is in the land
of established churches 1t consists oi
money spent in drink, in waste OF land
capital and labor, in producing drink
loss of labor and time by destruction ano
theft, by destitution, pauperism, sickness
insanity, prejudice, support Of criminals,