The Tarboro' southerner., 1869-04-22
SPUN GiAN 4.

L = " " "A ~ 4as
Motto for fashionable young lady
rNever too late to bend.
"Well, Robert, how much did your
pig weigh p
at didn't weigh as much rs / ez-
pected, and l always thought it would
MT
WALKING PEsTILENcE--Ponpous
Teacher: " Now, then, scholars, what
is TIE pestilence that walketh in dark
ness?'
Thin Little Girl: Please, sir, it's
feas"
A refined way Of saying, "root hog,
or die '-Penetrate the subsoil, my
porcine friend, or be prepared at all
early day to see an obituary notice OF
your untimely demise.
"Off she goes" said lady, speaking
of the train as it was starting. . You
have mistaken the gender, madam"
said a gentleman; "this is mail
train
A Cockney family were lately gazing
at a shop window in Rock ford, Illinois.
Little Girl" Oh, mamma. is that
q EN-"
Mamma" No, my child ; that is
howl"
Father-"No, my wife and daughter,
that is neither 'en nor a howl, but it
is heogie the hemJlem Of tlis LlarSted
couet'y."
A sick man just recovering his ap-
pe'i 2, ate eighteen dumplings, and Was
about entering cn the nineteenth and
last il the d:sh, when his lite son asked
his father 20 give it to him. Why,
NY son. would You take the last dump
liIg fo your poor, sick father -
a clergy apan was lately depicting be-
fcre deeply Interested audience the
alarming iuerea>e OF intemrerance, when
he astouished his hearers By excIaim>
ing 4 young woman in my neigh
borhood died very suddenly last Sab
bath, while [ was preaching the gospel
Ia state Of iuto2ication.
A lecturer wishing to explain to
little girl the manner in which lobster
casts his shell when he has outgrowu
II, sail " What do YOU when you have
outgrown your clothes? You cast
them aside, do you not?' "Oh, no,
replied the IittIo one, we let out the
tucks !!
What's that p asked Mrs. Part
in9ton; 'Iooking up at the column of the
Place Eendome, during her late visit
to Paris. " / he pillar Of Napoleon, y
she was answered.
Well, never did ~ she exclaimed;
"and that's his piliow-he was great
nan to use that. But it's more like Il
bolster. Iird its made Of iron | d.
believe. An! Isaac see what it is 10
be great. How hard his head must
have rested On his great iIouical p;l
low -
a shoemaker received a note from a
lady to whom C was particular y at
'ached, requesting him to make her a
new pair of shoes and not KNOWN Q
exactly the style she required, he Gis,
patched Il written mssive to her,
whether she would like them to be
W;ouud or Squire Toad ?'' The la
dy, indignant at his rash specimen OF
orttography, replied, " Knecther."
a Schoolmaster in Michigan advcr-
tiScs as follows: Il propose to spe
with emmy man, woman or boy in Oke
land county for 500 Il SIDE, the words
TO be celected by a committy Of literary
gents, and the prise to be rewarded by
the empires to the one vino misses tie
tcwist words. Ii you here of emmy one
dares to take up this challenge, lei
iheon pitch in, solus bolus; I'm ready
Thompson and Rogers, two marriet
men, wandered home late one night
stopped at what Thompson supposed tt
te his residence, but which his COLE
paniJn insisted was his own house -
III ompsou rang the bell Justify when
window was opened, and lady inquired
what was wauted? Madame" in
qnired Mir r., isr't this 3ir. t
ihom[ sons house" "No," replict
tie lady; this Is the house Of Mr.
pocers.'' CIV eli" exclaimed Mr.
Thompson, "Nrs T-T-Thompson-
beg your pardon-Mrs. Rogers, won
YOU just step down TO the door aud pic|
out E"geIs, for Thompson wants to g
home"
=" julius, is You better dis morning 2
= No, Ise got cher dat" Am der
no hopes, cen, CD your die bry?
Discobery ob what?' Your di:
eobery from de convalescence what al
let hing you on yer back" dat Dc
lends, Mr.. Snow, altogedder on d
lrognostication which ampliIy de dis
,ase. Should dey continuate tatualIy
i doctor tius- sc gone niggcr. shout
deg DOT contiauatc fatually, lie hope
Is colo.vu indiw docai wont die ii
:.Gpd,r ,iu.e. AS said before. it Z
dele"ds ou de prognosics, and till des
tome t" head dere am no telling wee
'or dis niggcr will come to d.scontl;
NstLop or not" >"