Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-07-30
Simon shorts Son, Samuel.

simon ShOrts Son, Samuel
THE following literary curiosity was
constructed for the last number ot the
Aspirdnt, the reading Of which formed q
part of the closing exercises of the Con.
cord, N. IL High School. The writer Is
Miss Ida Bennett
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes.
Seventeen summers, speeding storms,
spreading sunshine SUCCESSFULLY saw 81
mons small, shabby shop still standing
staunch, saw Simon's selfsame squeAking
sign still swinging, silently specifying
Simon Short, Smithheld's sole surviving
shoemaker. Shoes sewed, soled super
finely" Simon's spry, sedulous spouse,
sally Short, sewed skirts, stitched sheets,
stuffed sofas. Simon's six stout, sturdy
sons.-Seth, Samuel, Stephen, Saul, Silas,
Shsdrach-sold sundries. Sober Seth
sold sugar, starch, spices simple Sam
sold saddles, stirrups, screws; sagacious
Stephen sold silks, satins, shswls; skepti'
cal Saul sold silver salvers; selfish Shad-
rsch sold salves, shoe strings, soap, saws,
skates; slack Silss sold Sally Shorts
stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since, Simon's
second son Samuel s"w Sophia Sophronia
Spriggs somewhere. Sweet sensible,
smart Sophia Sopronia Spriggs. Sam soon
showed strange symptoms. Sam seldom
stayed, storing, selling saddles Sam
sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia Sophro.
MAS society, sung several serenades slyly.
Simon stormed, scolded severely, said
Sam seemed so silly singing such shame
full, senseless songs. "Strange, Sam
should slight such splendid sales Strut.
ting spendthrift shattered. Drained sim
pletonl"
"Softly, softly, sire" said Sally. "Sam's
smitten; Sans spied some sweetheart" I"
Sentimental school-boy ~ snarlcd 81.
mon. "Smitten Stop such stuff 81
mon sent Sally's snuff box spinning, seized
Sally's scissors, smashed Sally's spectacles,
scattering several spools. "Sneakiug
scoundreli Sans shocking Stiffness shall
surcesseT Scowling, Simon stopped
speaking, starting swiftly shopward. Sally
sighed sadly. Summoning Sam, she spoke
sweet sympathy. "Sam," said she, "sire
seems singularly snappy; so, sonny, stop
strolling streets, stop smoking segars,
spending specie superfluously, stop spruc-
ing SO, stop singing serenades, stop short
Sell saddles, sell saddles sensible; See
Sophia Sophronia Spnggs soon: she's
sprightly, she's stable, sOsolicit, sue, secure
ADbDild oDCCuilJI pdbl.
$50 soon 80 soon ?" said Sam, stand.
ing stock still
"So soon,' surely" said Sally, smiling
ly; specially since sire shows such
spirits"
$50, Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered
slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam
soliloquises; Sophia Scphronia Spriggs,
Spriggs-Short-Sophia Sophronia Short
Samuel Shorts spouse-sounds splen-
did Suppose she should say - She
she shan't-she shan'tl"
Soon Sam spied Sophia stsrching shirts,
singingly softly. Seeing Sam, she
stopped starching, saluting Sam smilingly
Sam stammered shockingly.
"Spl-spl-splendid summer season, So
phia"
Somewhat sultry," suggested Sophia
Sar sartin, Sophia" said Sam. Isl
lence seventeen seconds)
"Selling saddles still, Sam ="
"Sar-sar tin" said Sam, starting sud
denly. Seasons somewhat sudorific,
said Sam stealthily, staunching streaming
sweat, shaking seBsibly.
"Sartin," said Sophia, smiling signifi
cantly. Sip some sweet sherbert, Sam
(Silence sixty seconds.)
"Sire shot sixty shelldrakes, Saturday,
SAID Sophia.
"Sixty? Shot |" said Sam. (Silenc
| seventy.seven secOnds)
"See sister Susan's sunnowers," sal,
Sophia socially, silencing such stiff 81
| lence.
Sophia's sprightly sauciness stimulated
Sam strangely; so Sam suddenly spok
sentimentally; "Sophia, Susan's sun
flowers seem saying, Samuel Short, Su
san Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serenely
seek some sequestered spot, some sylvan
shade. Sparkling springs shall sing sou
stirring strains; sweet songsters shall 81
lence secret sighings super.angelic sylph
shall Sophia snickered so Sam stop
ped.
Sophia" said Sam solemnly.
"Sam," said Sophia.
"Sophia, stop smiling. Sam Short
sincere. Sans seeking some swee
spouse, Sophia"
Sophia stood silent.
"Speak, Sophia, speak such suspens
| speculates sorrow"
Seek sire, Sam, seek sire"
So Sam sought sire spriggs, sire sprigg
said "Sartin."