Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-04-27

tt0t Wanted Just q rep auto Mo1 f'e"'e
Closet.
A lodge of the Independent Order OF Odd
Fellows, at Woodstown, determined to have
their lodge-room done up clean and nice. 1t
was resolved unanimously that Mrs. X. should
be employed to do the job.
Alter the meeting adjourned the Guardian,
who knew the inqulsitive character OF Mrs H.,
procured billy goat and placed him in closet
that was kept as reservoir tor the secret
things. He then informed the lady of the
wishes of the lodge, and requested her to come
early next morning, as he would then be at
| leisure to show her what was and what was not
| to be done.
| Morning came, and with it Madame K, with
| her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, etc., and found
| the Guardian waiting for her.
| Now, Madame" said he. II tell you what
We want done, and how we came to employ you.
| The brothers said it was difficult to get any
| body to do the job and not be meddling with
| the secrets in that little closet; we have lost
the key, and cannot find it to lock the door. |
assured them that you could be depended on. !"
| Depended on [ guess | can. My poor
dead and gone husband, he belonged to the
! Free Masons, or anti Masons, [ don't know
which. He used to tell me all the secrets of
the concern, and when he showed me all the
marks the gridlron made when he was Initial, d,
and told me how they fixed poor Morgan,
never told living soul to this day; if nobody
troubles your closet to find out your secrets till
[ do, they will lay thee till they rot-they
WILL"
Il thought so,' said the Guardian, land
now want you to commence in that corner,
and give the whole room decent cleaning. and
have pledged my word and honor for the fdel-
| lty to your promise, now don't go into that
closet, and then left the lady to herself
| No sooner had she heard the sound of his
feet on the last step of the stairs than she ex-
claimed, Don't get into the closet!' "I'll
warrant there's a glid-iron, or some nonsense,
just like the antl-Masons for all the world, Ill
he bound will take one peep, and nobody
will be any the wiser, as | can keep it to my
self,
Sultlng the action to the word, she stepped
lightly to the forbidden closet, turned the but
ton, which was no sooner done, than bah went
the billy goat with spring to regain his liber-
| ty, which came near upsetting her ladyship-
Both started for the door, but it was filled with
implements for house cleaning, and all were
swept clear from their position down to the bot
tom of the stairs.
The noise and confusion occasioned by such
| unceremOniOus coming down stairs drew hall
under the pile of pals, tubs, brooms, and
brushes In the street.
| Who should be first to the spot but the ras-
| cally doorkeeper, VINO after releasing the goat,
which was cripple for life, aud uplifting the
rubbish that bound the good woman to the
earth, anxiously inquired if she had been ia
king the degrees"
Taking the degrees!'' exclaimed the lady,
IT you call tumbling from the top to the bot
| tom of the stairs, with the devil after We, ia
king things by degrees, have them, and if ye
Uh tntk be hor-a ~
boot, II warrant they will make as much noise
as | did,
| L hope you did not open the closet, mad
| am" said the doorkeeper.
open the closet? Eve ate the apple she
was forbidden! If you want woman to do
anything, tell her not to do it, and she'll do it
certain. | could not stand the temptation.
The secret was there, / wanted to know it, |
opened the door and out popped the tarnal crit
ter right into my face. [ thought the devil
had me, and / broke for the stairs with the
devi bdtting me at every jump. | fell over the
tub and got down stairs as you found us, all In
heap"
but, madam, said the doorkeeper, ''you
are In possession OF the great secret of our Or
der, and must go up to be initiated and sworn,
and then 90 In the regular way
| Regular way T. exclaimed the lady. ''arfd do
you suppose am going near the tarnal place
! again. and ride that ar crtter without bride
or lady's saddle? No, never ! don't want
nothing to do with the man that rides it. I'd
look nice perched upon billy goat-woud' Mt
IL! No, never I'll never go nigh it again,
nor your hall nuther-if | can prevent it no
lady shall ever join the Odd Fellows. Why,
I'd sooner be Free Mason, and be broiled on
grd-iron as long as fire could be kept under
it, and pulled from garnet to cellar, with a
halter, in pair of old breeches and slippers,
just as my poor dead husband. And he lived
er ride as took to-day