The Portland daily press., 1869-04-24
PRESS.
Saturday Morning, April "a, 1859.
CHE Played ON "A Harp ~f a Thousand
Strings.o
CORTLAND

l
| strings.'
The following burlesque on the style of
preaching formerly too prevalent in the South
west, was fifteen or twenty years ago printed
in almost every newspaper in the United
States, provoking roars of laughter wherever
1t went. We find it preserved in Burton's
Cyclop@dia of Wit and Humor, where many
other good things are embalmed. The read
er will imagine that the place where this SER
mon was delivered was a landing on the Mis-
siss.ppi river, and that the preacher was on
his way with his fat-boat to New Orleans:
may say to you my brethren, that am
not an edlcated man, d. l am not one of them
as believes that edieation is necessary for
Gospel minister, for believe the Lord edi-
kates his preachers jest as he wants 'em to be
edlcated; and although say it that oughtn't
10 say 1t, yit in the Stait ov Ingyanny, whar
i've, thar's no man as gets bigger conpryga-
shuns nor what gifts.
IhaMnay be sum here te-day, my truthrin
as don't kno what purswashun l am oy.-
wall, must sa you, my bruthrin that Pm
Hard Shell Baptist. Thar's some folks as
don't ike the Hard Shell Baptists, but I'd
ruther have hard shell as no shell at ALL
You see me here to-day, mi bruthrin, dressed
up in fine clothes; you mout think was
proud, but am not proud, my bruthrin, and
| although I've been preacher of the gospel
twenty years, and although Pm capting of
the fat-boat that lies at your landing, Pm not
proud, my bruthrin, So -
am not gwIne to tell edzactly whar nv
tex may be found suffice to say, it's in the
lids of the Bible, and you'll find It somewhar
between the first chapter of the book of Gem
erations, and the last chapter OF the book of
Revolutions, and eff you'll 60 and search the
Scriptures, you'll not only find my tex thar,
but great many other texes as will do you
good to read, and my tex, when YOU shall
find it, you shall find it reads thus:
"And he played on harp NV thousand
strings-sperits OF jest men made perfeck."
MY text, my brethring, leads me to speak
OF sperrlts. Now there's great many kinds
OF sperits in the world-in the fuss place
thars the sperits as some folks calls ghosts.
and thars the sperits NV turpentine, aud
thars the sperits as some folks call liquor,
and I've got as good an artikel of them kind
OF sperits on my 1atboat as ever was fotched
down the Mississippi river; bnt thar's a
great many other kinds OF sperits, for the
tex says. "He played on a harp of tn o-u-s-
and strings, sperlts Nv jest men made per-
feck.n f - -
But ePll tell you the kind NV sperits as is
~ASe'ho ~ ohS VA 10 4nGs L udbS Iu6 klQQ
Nv sperits as is meant in the tex, nv breth-
ring. Now thar's great many kinds NV fire
IN the world. In the fuss place there's the
common sort OF fire you light your cigar or
pipe with, and then thar's fox-fire and cam
fire, and fire before you are ready, and fire
and fall back, and many other kinds NV fire,
for the tex says, che played on harp NV q
thousand strings, sperits Nv jest men made
| perfeck"
But Pll tell you the kind NV fire as is
meant in the tex, my brethring-it's HELL
| FIRE! an that's the kind Nv fire as a great
many Nv you'll come to, ef you don't do bet
ter nor what you have been doin'-for "He
| played on harp Nv thousand strings, spe--
| its Nv jest men made perfeck.n
| Now, the different sorts OF fire in the world
may be hkened unto the different persua-
sions of Christians in the world. In the first
place we have the Piscapalions, an they are
high sailin' and highfalutin'set, and they
| may be Ikened unto turkey buzzard, that
| flies up into the air, and he goes up, and up.
till he looks no bigger than your finger nail,
and the fust thing you know, he comes down
| and down, and If film himself on the carcass
of dead hoss by the side of the road, anu
HE played on the harp Nv a thousand
strings, sperits of just men made perfeck.
| And then thar's the Methods, and they
may be likened unto the squirrel running up
into tree, for the Methods believes in
| gwine on from one degree Of grace to an
other, and finally on to perfection, and the
squirrel goes up and up, and up and up, and
he jumps from limb to limb, and from branch
to branch, and the fust thing you know he
falls, and down he comes kerfumix, and that's
like the Methods, for they is alters falin from
| grace, an ana He played on a harm nv a
thousand strings, sperits OF jest men made
perfeck."
And then, my brethring, thar's the Baptist,
ah! and they have been likened unto pos
sum OH 'simmon tree, and thunders may
sum clings thar still, ah! and you NAV shake
one foot loose, and tbe others thar, and you
may shake all feet loose, and he laps his tail
aryund the limb, and clngs and he clings fur
ever, for "He played on the harp Nv thous-
and .stringg, sperits Nv jest men made per-