Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1869-03-17
Mark Twain-He Tells all About Wslles'
and Stewards Future Career.

Dead politicians reminding me of
Grants Cabinet-for isn't there rumor
that Governor Fish is to be secretary OF
something ?-brings me back once more
to McCraken and his journey to Wash
ington.
You see, McCracken was originally q
Pennsylvania, and when he learned
that Grant had decided TO select one of
his Cabinet from that State, Immediately
determined that he was the coming
man. He was unsuccessful in the at
tempt to see the General, who was having
q private interview with Marshal Browns
pups, but be saw Mr. Seward, and that
acute gentleman soon convinced him that
Le stood no chance Whatever of going
into the Cabinet.
Said Mr.. Seward. McCracken, orr
day is over. There is no more keyhoe
business for ne. The only way in which
spies can get employment in Washington
for the next four years will be under
Mr. Sumner, who has heard that Grant
recently speke of the negro as the
nigger," and will probably set watch
over him to find out if he ever repeats
the expression, in which case he intends
to have him Immediately impeached.
No, my friend, you are not the coming
Pennsylvania. Try and resign your
self. ] resigned the other day and found
it quite easy"
McCracken asked Mr.. Seward what he
and the other members of the johnson
Cabinet intended to do with themselves.
"Mr. Welles," replied the venerable
statesman, intends to 90 into the junk
shop business. All the engines which
he has made for our meu-o-war will
secessarily be sold for old iron, if man
of ordinary intelligence is made Secre-
tary of the Navy. Mr.. Welles knows
this, and means to buy the old iron,
cheap, and eDdeavor 10 make profit on
it by selling it to founders. Possibly,
however, he may prefer to 90 on the
stage, as understand that Mr.. Wallack
of New York has offered him a very
handsome salary if he will play Verges,
in much Ado About Nothing"
"As for myself" continued Mr. Sew.
ard, ~ don't know precisely what shall
do. Mr.. Weed writes that his health will
no longer permit him to take charge of
me, and offers to give Hugh Hastings q
power of attorney, authorizing him to
run me for the rest of my days. Bait
Hugh is little too slippery, and l don't
like to give myself, body and soul-st
least what regard as my soul" said the
Secretary, correcting himself, ito him
as formerly did to Mr.. Weed. think
that shall give up politics and the real
estate business, and devote myself TO
literature. / have for some time had in
my mind the project of preparing a COM
plete letter.writer for the use of diplo-
m mstists, business men and the people
generally. Governor Wise, of Virgins,
has the same scheme in view but | don't
fear his competition, for | can write
longer letters, and more Of tkem in the
course of week, than he can. The book
would be rather large, though think |
could finish it in eighty or ninsty vol
umes; but the price of paper is almost too
high Just now for such an extensive un-
dertaking. A man who has the genius
for writing letters that / have ought to
put it to some proper use. Why, do you
know that the only reason the South be-
gan the war was that the rebels preferred
10 fight rather than to read the dispatches
which | should have sent to the Confed-
crate Government If we had attempted to
settle the matter amicsbly2
The gentleman wandered on in this
style an hour or tNo-it was just after
dinner-but McCracken managed to slip
away aad leave him. The poor old man
will probably find no remunersiive em-
ployment now that be is out of office, and
expect yoS to see him on inmate of the
deaf and dumb halforphan asylum for
blind and INDECENT widows before many
al ho naesad