The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-10-16

his ADAIRAroN.-A Rreeuhorn .t.na.-
oehlnd sewing machine at which 1 no,,-s
lady was at WORK, looking alternately A. thss
machine and its fair operative, at length 0s1s
vent to his admiration with, s'Bv polI-- NJ
purity, specially the part covered witt caIi.
co." O'A'
A GEM.-Truth is one of the rarest cems
Many youth has been lost In society bv aI.
lowing il to tarnish his character. and fooI.
ishly throwing IL away.
AN Irishman, hearing Of a friend who h,d
stone coffin made for himself exclaimed
''ThaPs good idea. Sure an a stone coffin
ud' last man lifetime"
A WRITER, trying to be severe upon Bos-
ton, is only funny when be SAYS the CITY ia
called the "hub" because JslIoD gets tired
going about it.
THE great secret Of happiness lies ia noble
toil-wOrk that fills the heart, opens the
mind and strengthens the body; and almost
any occupation affords this.
II is standing rule in nv church, said
one clergyman to another, "for the sexton to
wake up any man be sees asleep"
Il think, replied the Other, ,dthat II wonld
De better for the sexton to wake YOU IN AZ
any time . man goes to sleep under your
preaching"
A FARMER who bad engaged the services
of son of the Emerald Isle, sent him ont ~
harrow piece Of ground. He had not been
at It long before nearly all the teeth came
out Of the harrow. Presently the farmer
went out into the field to take notes of Pars
progress, and asked him how he liked bar-
rowing. "Oh replied Pat, t'it goes A biz
smOOtner now since the pegs are out"
FRENCH PHILosoPHY.-Here is bit Of NH.
losophy. IL is set down to the credit OF Dn.
mas: walk two hours every day. Sleen
seven hours every night. Get up a. soon Al
you wake. Speak only when necessary. ana
say only half what you think. Don't write
anything but what you can sign. Think
neither too much nor too little Of money
It Is good servant but bad master. n.
ware Of woman before you are twenty.
AVOID them after you are forty"
UNWILLING TO GO TO HEAyEN.-There w.a
clergyman who often became vexed at and
ing ms little grandchildren In his study.
One day one Of these little children was
standing by his mothers side and she was
ma" said be, "I don't want to 20 to hen
Ven."
Don't want to go to heaven my son ?"
NO, ma, I'm sure DON'T"
why not my son ?"
ma 20 -
"Yes, hope he will"
wen, just as soon as be sees US, be will
come scOlding along, and say, 'Whew, whew,
WneW what are these boys here for ?"
TAXING TURNs.-Two Yankees strollin0
In the woods without any arms in their DOS
session observed bear climbing a tree,with
its paws clasped around the trunk. One or
them ran forward and caught the bears DAVIS
one IN each hand. He then called to his
comrade
Jonathan, run home and bring me some
thlng TO Kill this varmint and mind YOU do
not stay or I'm In fix."
Jonathan ran of, but stayed long time.
During the interval the bear made several
attempts 70 bite the hands Of him wEO held
it,
At lrugth Jonathan came back!
"Aallo, what kept you so long?"
well, III tell you. When / got home
my breakfast was ready, and so l stayed to
eat it,"
well, said his comrade, "come now and
hold the crItter till kill IT'D
Jonathan seized the bears paws and held
the animal.
"Well, have you hold Of him %
"Guess So"
VERY well, then hold fast-Pm off for
dinner"
Why are sheep the most dissipated crea-
lures in creationg Because they Rambol IN
their youth, spend most OF their davs On
the turf; the best of them are blacklegs. and
tley are sure to be feeced at last.