The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-07
Josh Billings on the Cote.
The cote is koarse woolen sheep.


They swaller what they eat, and will
eat ennything they kan bite.
Their moral karakters are not pol
ishcd they had rather steal a rotten
turnip out of garbage box than cum
honestly by peck of oats.
The male cote has two horns on the
ridge ov his he'd, and mustache on his
bottom lip, and is the plug ugly of the
neighborl,ood.'
A maskuline cote will fite enthing
from an elephant down to hiz shadder on
ded wall.
They strike from their but end, in
stead of the shoulder, and are as likely
tew hit as hammer il nailhed.
They are hi seasoned animal as much
so az pound ov assifdity.
They are faithful critters: and will
stick tew friend az long az he lives in n
shanty.
They kan Kline ennything but
greast pole, and kno the way up rock
NJ natural az woodbine.
They az certain tew raise az young
ones-sum families are half gotes and
the other haf children. They are good
eating when they are yung, but they
leve it oph as they git stronger.
They are alwus poor in tho body, but
phat in the stumick what they eat
seems to ali 80 to appetight. Yu might
az we'll agree tcw phatt an injun rubber
over shu by fillingi it with klam shells az
tew raise emmy adipoze membrane on the
outside bust of cote.
A phatt cote would be literary GU
riosity.
They use the same dialekt az sheep,
and the yung ones speak more fuently
than the parents do.
There are only two animals of the
earth thatwill eat tpbalko--one is man
and the tother liza cote but the cote
understands it the most, for he swallows
1.-THE spit, chaw and all.
The male cote, when he is pensiv, is
venerable md philosophic looking old
cuss, and wud not make bad professor
NV arithmctick in sum ov our colleges
They are handy at livin long time,
reaching an advanced age without arriv-
ing at any konklusion.
How long cote lives without givin
it up, there IL no man now old enuff tew
tell
Mcthuzcler, if his memory was bad at
forgetting, mite give good sized guess,
but, unfortunately for science and this
Essa, Methusaler amt here
Gotes will live in emmy klimate and
on any vittles, except tanbark, and if
they ever cum to square death it liz a
profound sekret, in the hands ov few,
to this day.
wouldn't like to believe emmy man
under oath who had ever seen uiasku-
line cote ncktually die, and stay so.
Speaking ov Metluzelcr puts me in
mind of the fact, if man should liv
now-a- daze as mitch as he did, and only
have one eye tcw see things with, he
would hav tew hay an addishun built
onto the back ov his he'd tew sto away
things into.
The female cote IL either the mother.
or sister, or cuzzin, ov the male cote, ac-
kording to the circumstances III the case,
or else | labor under delusion, / forget
which
They give milk intuitivcly about a
quart, before it IL watercd, in twelve
hours, which is the subject ov nourish-
ment in various ways.
This milk, which is extracted from
the female cote, liz excellent tow finish
up young ones on, but is apt to make
them bellycose and fghtful
1t liz not uncommon for babe, while
inhaIlng thls pugnacious fiuld, to let oph
his left colleckshun or digit and ketch
the nurse on the pinnaklo of the smeller,
and tap it for clarct.
This kommou fakt among Irish ba-
bies, aud explains the reason viii, in af
ter life, these same babes make such
brilliant hits.
In writing the history ov the male
and female gote tew adorn the pages ev
future time, fiatter myself that l have
stuck tew the truth, and haven't allowed