The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-04
PUMPKINS.


From the Lordon SATURDAY. Review
Pumpkins are among the most imposing OF oil
grouncling growths. They have fine snowy flow
eTs, handsome leaves, rowing stems, and they bear
solid-looking fruit Of goodly size aud gorgeous
color. To see them spreading over their domain
with such rapid luxuriaIcs. one would imagine
them among the best things growing; bat criti.
cal examination proves their feeh to be about
three parts water, while as for their stalks they
are OF so pithless nature they can only creep
alorg the earth, unable to stand upright without
support (; which tells something against the pump.
kin's claim for extra consideration. Sill, their
snowy lsrgeness attracts the eye, and not few
of rs believe IN pumpkins, and admire both tneir
mode of growth and the fruit resulting. In like
manner the human pumpkins-those beings of
imposing presence and loud selfasserton-get
themselves believed in by the simple; and a. oc-
essioDs by which their watery ndfberIess nature
is revealed do not arise every day, they are for
the most part accepted for the substantiaities
they assume to be. and the world Is deceived By
appearances as Il ever has been. These human
pumpkins abound everywhere. In all states and
professions, and In both sexes, We find them Hour
shipg magnfcently upon the face OF the earth, TAX
ing the lead in their society and setting themselves
out as the finest felows to be found In their 70.
fpective gardens. Among them are the men OF
the Bombsstes type, SO dear to the older play
wrights; braggadocios OF the hill 'em and eat 'em
school, who were such terrible fellows to look at
and listen to, though only pumpkins-sf singular
ly innocuous nature when stoutly squeezed and
analysed; fire-eeters Of the juggling kind, with
SPECIAL care taken that the fire shall be harmless,
and that the danger shall be only 10 the fear OF
the spectators. Now that dueling has gone out
OF fashion, and discharged captains who have
sienslized themselves in war are rare, our old
swashbuchler type Of pumpkins has gone out both
in fact and fiction, on the stage and of 1t. To be
sure we have few travellers Of slightly spocry-
phal courage, and more than doubtful accuracy,
whose books Of Perilous adventure and breathless
dangers are to us what Bombsstes and Bobadil
were to our fathers; and We have Major yelling
ton de Boots with bis military swsgger and his
hare's heart. But be is o very weak imitation Of
the old fre-eater; and, on the whole. the special
family Of the pumpkins has dwindled intoinsigni
fcsnce. and their place knows them no more.
Then there is the pumpkin after the cut Of the
prince Iegent-the man Of department, generally
big, often handsome. and chiefly noticeable for
loud voice, broad chest, and an Undesirable air
Of superiority and command; the man who has
studied bowing as one Of the fine arts, who
s EsA hs ss fsf1 t he
side. This Il the kind Of man who infu-
ences women. BoEbastes frightens the nervous
ard inexperienced OF his own sex, but the man Of
department partly fsscinates and partly overewes
and have not skill enough to find out the flaw in
the summing up until perhaps II is too late, when
they have come 20 near to him that they are able
to spprsise him for themselves, and have learnt
by bitter experience Of what unsound materials
be ia made. And then let him look out. There Ia
nothing women resent go much as pumpkin men-
hood-nothing which humiliates them more 10
their own esteem than to discover that they have
been taken in by appearances, and that what they
believed was solid wood turns out to be only
squssh. Women like TO rely on men, aud dread
nothing so much e. weakness end vacilistion IL
their male protectors save indeed those grim and
bulky females in whom Hood 80 much delighted,
who take small men vi ct arms, and subjagate
them body and soul. like two-legged poodles
trained TO fetch and carry at the word Of COM
msnd. But these are exceptions; the average
woman prizipg strength rather than poodle Ike
oocility. The pumpkin Of the prince regent cut
IL generally notorious for laying down the Law on
all points, His voice Is loud. and bis manner Of
speech dictatorial. that no one dreaming, still
less Of consradicting him. but everybody txkes
him ss be represents himself TO be-a man of
prompt decision. of boundless resources. granite
lower Of strength to be leant against In all cher
gencies without the slightest fear Of fsiure
man who is not only sufficient for himself, but
strong enough to bear the weaknesses Of others.
he Is famous for giving advics-advice Of q vague,
rapid. sprawiing kind, never quite exact to the
crcumstances never quite practical or TO the point
large sdvice, general IN scope bat wonderfully
positive in tone, and, until you snslyse. grandly
imposing 10 eject. Nail him TO the point; ask bis
advice seriously on any question where the re.