The Orangeburg news. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1867-1875, 1869-08-07
Josh Billings on the Cote.

They have split hoof and whole tail.
They have a good appetite and good
digestion.
They swaller what they eat, and will
eat ennything they kan bi:a.
Their moral karakters are not pol
ishcd; they had rather steal rotten
turnip out of a garbage box than cum
honestly by peck of oats.
The male cote has two horns on the
ridge ov his he'd, and mustache on his
bottom lip, and is the plug ugly of the
neighborhood.'
A maskuline cote will fite enthing
from an elephant down to hiz shadder on
a ded wall.
They strike from their but end, in
stead Of the shoulder, and are as likely
tew hit as :. hammer il nailhed.
They are hi seasoned animal as much
SO az a pound ov assifdity.
They are faithful critters; and will
stick tew a friend az long az he lives in
shanty.
They kan KLINE ennything but a
greast pole, and kno the way up rock
az natural az woodbine.
They az certain tew raise az young
ones-sum families are haff gotes and
the other haff children. They are good
eating when they are yung, but they
leve it oph as they git stronger.
They are alwus poor in tho body, but
phat in the stumick; what they eat
seems 70 ali go to appetight. Yu might
az we'll agree tew phatt an injun rubber
over shu by filling it with klam shells az
tew raise emmy adipoze membrane on the
outside bust of cote.
A phatt cote would be literary Gu
riosity.
They use the same dialekt az sheep,
and the yung ones speak more fuently
than the parents do.
There are only two animals Of the
earth tliatwill cat tpbakko--one is n man
and the tother liza cote; but the cote
understands it the most, for he swallows
1.-THE spit, chaw and all.
The male cote, when he is pensiv, is
venerable md philosophic looking old
cuss, and wud not make bad professor
Nv arithmctick in sum ov our colleges
They are handy at livin long time,
reaching an advanced age without arriv-
ing at any konklusion.
How long cote lives without givin
it up, there IL no man now old cnuff tew
tell.
Mcthuzcler, if his memory was bad at
forgetting, mite give good sized guess
but, unfortunately for science and this
Essa, Methusalcr aint here
Gotes will live in emmy klimate and
on any vittles, except tanbark, aud if
they ever cum to Il square death it il a
profound sekret, in the hands ov few,
to this day.
/ wouldn't like to believe emmy man
under oath who had ever seen masku-
line gote acktually die, and stay So
Speaking ov Methuzeler puts me in
mind of the fact, if man should liv
now-a-daze as mitch as he did, and only
have one eye tew see things with, he
would hav tew hav an addishun built
onto the back ov his he'd tew sto away
things into.
The female gotc z either the mother,
or sister, or cuzsin, ov the male cote, ac-
kording to the circumstances in the case,
or else l labor under delusion, forget
which.
They give milk intuitivcly about a
quart, before it iz watercd, in twelve
hours, which is the subject ov nourish-
ment in various ways.
This milk, which is extracted from
the female cote, z excellent tow finish
up young ones on, but is apt to make
them bellycose and fghtful
1t liz not uncommon for babe, while
inhaling this pugnacious fluid, to let oph
his left colleckshun or digit and ketch
the nurse on the pinnakle of the smeller,
and tap it for clarct.
This kommou fakt among Irish ba-
bies, aud explains the reason whi in af
ter life, these same babes make such
brilliant hits.
In writing the history ov the male