Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1869-06-22
Wit and HaE77aO2'.

Dismissed suits-Cast-off clothing
Light employment-Cle windows.
A we'll known field officer-A kernel of corn.
A debate on the constitutional consultation
with physician.
When is wife like great coat When her
husband IS wrapped up in her.
The point that was carried came very nigh
puncturing the tender part of the bearer.
A young lady at Niagara was heard to ex-
claim, hat an elegant trimming that rain
bow would make for a white lace over-dress.
A religious paper in London announces that
Ned Wright, the converted burglar, will preach
at the Wordsworth Assembly Rooms, and
break open the doors of hell with a gospel jim
my.
An Iowa Journal records the escape of a
prisoner thus The constable and the prison
er disagreed as to which was the best route,
and, as the prisoner has not been heard from
since, it is supposed that he took the wrong
road
"He dismounted in front of the house ard
tied his horse to large locust A French
author, in translating this passage, renders it
thus: He descended from his horse in front
of the chateau and tied him to large grass
hopper"
Says far off exchange: Our lady readers,
interested in the prevailing fashions, will be
glad to know that at frontier ball recently, a
noted Indian belle appeared in hoop-skirt, or
namented with fox-tails, and waist of yellow
flannel, slashed with stripes Of buffalo hide.
A clergyman who was consolng a young wild
ow on the death Of her husband, spoke in a
very serious tone, remarking that he was one
OF the few such jewel of Christian-you
cannot lind his equal, you we'll know To which
the s0bbing one replied, with an almost broken
heart, ''I'll bet will F"
One of the religious papers gives notice that
whoever sends poetry, essays, arguments, SER
mons, dissertations or articles to this office
without taking the precaution to correct most
Of the bad spelling and all the more garing
grammatical blunders may rest In the comfort
able assurance that they have been forwarded
to the paper mill.
4 man remarked in company that he had
seen a juggler place ladder, in open ground,
upon one end, and mount it by passing through
the rounds, and stand upon the top erect A
chap, who was present, said he had no doubt
of it, as he had seen man who had done the
same thing. but with this addition that when
he arrived at the top, he pulled the ladder up
after him.
An Iowa paper says that when the good
time coming" comes, announcements like the
following will be frequent: Died in the 35ih
year of his age, Mr. John Smith, husband Of
the Hon. Jane Smith, at her residence in
Nashua, this morning at seven o'clock. MIR.
Smith was meek and quiet husband, beloved
for the eraces Of cultivated and trained ma
sure. He excelled in the domestic virtues; as
a cook he was surpassed by few; as nurse he
was equalled by none"
Upon the authority of Paris correspondent
the following is the latest marriage ceremony
Priest to the bridegroom, aged 60-''Do you
marry this lady under any delusion?' mo. -
Are you bald?' Yes" ANY teeth ?''-
NO" DO you wear flannel p YES. -
'You believe in the rheumatism and have faith
in govt p Yes You are utterly bored
and incapable Of being amused?" ''Yes.''-
s'You care for nobody but yoursef?" Ger
talny not Not for your bride?' ''Natu-
rally not Very good then you two are
united in the name Of the law. Make her hap
py.
BRIEF BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCHES. -Plutarch
Il cary know this gentleman by reputation.
lie Is always spoken of In the plural number.
Plutarch's Lives is common expression. but
how many there were of him. am not ready
to say.
Bsmarck-vugarly termed, Old Biz. A
modern hero, but very iiterate. He foFaarly
signed his name with capital x, above and
beneath which we're written the words his mark
In consequence of this, the sobriauet of His
mark was bestowed upon him bu. was after
wards corrupted to Bismarck He PLAYED for
Prussia and made Count