The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1869-05-27
WitticiSnls.

which feels WOst, an editor oVerDol
ed or overheard ?
/ Advice to a Toper.-Don't let you
spirits 20 down.
The,most difficult Ascent.--Gettins
up subscription. tf
What time do debtors dislike9 The
time of falling due.
What sort of ladies resemble Poca
huntas2 Polka hunters.
Which requires the most courage tt
fend of or offend man2
What men "set up" the latest2 Com
positors on morning paper.
Wbv IN sailors insist that vessels
ore lost as soon as they s.@cin1crf
What umbrellas are needed during
mist? Missed ones, usually.
What sort of ham is most like an i'll
fitting waistcoat A West failer.
When did Moses sleep five in bed
When he slept with his fore fathers.
II come to STEAL" says the rat 81
spring to embrace you,' says the trap
What lady "sets up the fashion," A
lady compositor on fashionable mag
azine. .......Q
Why are practical jokers like honey
comb? Because they are full OF sells
Medical Query. When person de
clares that his brain is on lire is it etl
quette to blow it out2 .
A Schoolboy's Aspiration. "Ol
how, wish were fountain for thel
/ could always be playing! f"
A carpenter in advertising for a sit
uation, frankly says that work is not
80 much an object as good wages.
A couple announces their marriage
and adds to the notice, "No cards
nor any money to get them with"
How should steamboat captains treat
the passengers? They should have
proper deck DER IN (decorum).
Cana man who weighs twelve dozen
pounds be called a gross man? If SO
how much should grocer. weigh? ?
Can a mau who is always speaking
of his father and mother be considered
parenthetical in his remarks.
Mr.. Grips can't exactly keep 4 hote
but he can almost anything else thai
falls in his way and he generally does
it.
Mr.. Jones vas advised to get his life
insured. Wont DO it, said he; IL
would be my luck to live forever if
should"
A Washington psper describes
beautiful young lady ss having face
q painter might dwell upon. Thai
would be a delightful residence.
The most laconic will on record is
that Of a man who died in 17C9. 1t
ran thus: III have nothing;I ! owe a
great deal--the rest give to the poor
During an examination, q medical
student being asked the question, wv her
does modification ensuer' "When yor
pop the question and are answered no.
Vaccination. II don't believe it;
any Sc this vaccination said a Yark
ee. II had child vaccinated and h'
fell out the window a week arter ant
got killed"
A country poet has commenced
new epic which begins well. 1t opens
with an invocation to the nine muses.
bursting forth with these words, "Y'
fcmlnines ~
A man came into printing office t.
beg paper Because he said 'W'
like to read the newspapers very mncl
but our neighbors are all too stingy t.
take one"
There was some tittcring the otheI
day at a wedding breakfast, when ont
of the guests wished the bride "man!
returns of happy occasion."-Th'
bridegroom looked sad thereat."
After the acquital offs man for lar
ceny recently, one OF jurymen rose an'
suggested that 'the acquitted be nov
recommended to the merciiuI consider
alton of the court"
An advertisement reads as follows
"Stolen, a watch worth ten gulneas
II the thief will return it be shall be in
formed where he can find one wortl
two of it, and no questions asked"
"What is the meaning of lost, il
French p said cab driver to q for
eign gentleman, "Perdu," answere,
the gentleman. "Well then your trunl
is purdu." said the cab-driver."
II think oil girls are really good ant
sweetn said an enthusiastic urchip
"Then where do the bad come from ?
asked his bachelor uncle. "Oh" he re
piled. "they're the sweet girls turnet
sour"
A milkman may have habit OF stop
ping daily near the river and not ex
cite suspicion; but when we find his lit
tie boy fishing Tor minnows in the mill
pans We begin to have our doubts.
q