The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1869-12-25
Cousin Sally DiiIiard.
BY HAMILTON C. JONES i.


SoENE.-A Court of Justice in North Carolina.
beardless disciple of Themis rises, and thus ad-
dresses the Court May it please your worshps,
and you, gentlemen of the Jury, since it has been
my fortune (good or bad, will not say to
exercise myself in legal disquisions, it has never
befaen me TO be obliged to prosecute SO direful,
marked and malicious an assault--a more wilful
violent, dangerous battery-and finally, more
diabolical breach of the peace has seldom hap
pened in a civilized country and dare say it
has seldom been your duty to pass upon one SO
shocking to benevolent feelings, as this which
took place over at Captain Rices in this county
But you will hear from the witnesses"
The witnesses being sworn, two or three were
examined and disposed-one said that he heard
the noise, and did nct see the fight another
that he seen the row, but didn't know who
struck fIst--and third taat be was very drunk,
and couldn't say much about the skirmnaee.
Lawyer Chops-I AIN sorry, gentlemen, to
have accupied your time with the stupidity OF
the witnesses examined 1t arises, gentlemen,
altogether rom misapprehension on my part
Had known, as do, that had witness in
attendance, who WAS well acquainted with all
the circumstances Of the case, and who was able
to make himself cearely understood by the Court
and jury, should not SO long have tfespassed
upon your time and patience. Come forward
Mr.. Harris, and be
So forward comes the witness, fat, shnfy
old man, 'eetle' corned and took his oath
with an air.
Chops HARRIS we wish you to tell about the
riot that happened the other day ut Captain
Rices and us Il good deal OF time has already
been wasted in circumlocution, We wish you TO
be compenGious at the same time rs explicit as
possible.
Harris. s.-Adzactly (giving the lawyer wink
at the same time clearing his throat.) Captain
Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally billiard,
she came over to our house and axed me il my
wife she mount go. / told cousin Sally billiard
that my wife was poorly being as how she had
touch of rheumatcs in the hip, and the big swamp
was in the road, and the big swamp was up, for
there had been big rain lately, but howsomever
as it was she cousin Sally billiard, my wife she
mout go. Well, cousin Sally billiard then axed
me if Nose he mount 90 D.? told cousin Sally
billiard that he tie foreman OF the crap, and
the crap smartly in the grass but how
somever, as it was She cousin Sally billiard,
Moses must go.
Chops.-In the name of common sense, Mr..
Harris what do you mean by this rigmarole
Witness. Captain Rice, he gin treat, aud
cousin Sally billiard she came over to our house
and axed me if my wife she moutn't go. told
cousin Sally Dilliard--
Chops.-Stop, sir, if you please we don't
want to hear any thing about your cousin Sally
billiard and your wife tell us about the fight
at Rice's.
Witness-Wel will, sir, if you will let me.
Chops.-Well, sir, 60 on.
Witness-We, sir, Captain Rice he gia
treat and cousin Sally billiard she came over to
our house and axed me if my wife she mount
60
Chops.-There it is again. Witness, do please
stop.
Witness. WELL sir, what do you want?
Chops.-We want to know about the fight,
and you must not proceed in this impertinent
story. Do you know any thing about the mat
ter before the Court
Witness-To be sure do.
Chops-Well, go on and tell it, and nothing
else.
Witness.-Well, Captain, Rice he gin
treat
Chops.--This is intoerable. May please the
court, move that the witness be committed for
contempt; he seems to be triling with this
Court -.....
Court.-Witness, you are now before a court
of justice, and unless you behave yourself in a
more becoming manner, you will be sent to jail
so begin and tell what you know about the ight
at Captain Rice's.
Witness Alarmed. Well, gentlemen, Cap
tain Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally Dill
liared-
Chops.-I hope the witness may be ordered
into custody.
Court After deliberating. Mr.. Attorney,
the court is of the opinion that we may save time
by telling witness to 90 on in his own way.
Proceed, Mr.. Harris, with your story, bat stick
to the point.
Witness.-Yes, gentlemen Well, Captain
Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally billiard she
came over 10 our house and axed me if my wife
she moutn't go. told cousin Sally billiard that
my wife she was poorly, being as how she had
the rheumatics in the hip, and the big swamp
was. up but howsomever, as it was she, cousin
Sally Dilliard my wife mout go. Well cousin
Sally billiard then axed if Nose he moutn't go.
l told cousin Sally billiard as how Mose-he was
the foreman of the crap, and the crap was
smartly in the grass-but howsomever as it was,
she cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mout CO. So
they goes on together, Nose, my wife and cousin
Sally Dilliard and they came to the big swamp,
and it WAS up, as was telling you but being
as how there was log across the big swamp,
cousin Sally billiard and Nose, like gentee folks,
they walked the log but my wife, like darned
fool, waded through. And that's all knoo about
| the fight.
| Heavy SALE OF Coal LANDs.-It is stated in
| the Cumberland Aleghanian that sale of fif-
teen thousand acres of coal and mineral land in
Grant and Mineral counties, West Virginia. has
| just been made, for cash, to John l.. Crawford,
James Boyce and Samuel Maccubbin, of Balti-
more. This great tract of coal land is said to be
of the most valuable character, and the purchas-
ers will open the mines in short time. The
price paid for the property was $225,OOO. The
Cumberland Civilian referring to the Virginia
Coal and Iron Company, (the parties above men,
| toned, J says: s'The mines of this company are
situated in Hampshire county, West Verginia,
two and one-half miles from Piedmont, and the
rails are now being laid for the road which will
transport their products to the Baltimore market
This company has the most valuable mines Of
coal in the whole Allegheny region, and the sup
ply is said to be inexhaustible. 1t is owned by
John l.. Crawford, Samuel j. Maccubbin and
others who are building most substantial rail-
way to connect with the Baltimore and Ohio
railroad, and running direct to their Mines
The road is SO nearly completed that it is conf
denuy expected that the shipments Of the coal
will begin about the first of January. The mine
presents wonderful sight the entrance is like
of activifv rhila each side