The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1869-06-18
A CURTAIN LECTURE.
Time Midnight. Mr.. Caudle sleepy. Mrs
Caudle anxious and ercited,

Caatdle anxious and ereited,
Caudle, Caudle, ,cahe up, Caudle [
want to talk 30 you--I've hardly talked
any this day. You say, sDon't let's
talk ow?" Well, but l aoill talk.
am determined to assert my rights
sometimes. Actually object 20 your
wife's speaking to you This comes
from humor:ng you. "What do l want
to talk about?" What's that to yon
"Go ahead 20 .'Wall, that's not the
way to speak to vour wife--but its been
on my mind ever since | read Friday s
Enquirer Capital paper, Caudle) to ask
you whether you are going to register !!
You amt? Now, Caudle. remember
how foolish you were in not registering
befot te--the ridiculous excuses y GU
made, you and fifty other lazy boobies
| (the Enquirer calls 'em Bourbons) in
the county like you. You had the
rheumatism-your ankle was sprained
you had all the complaints of the af-
| iicted patriarch without his consolation
you had the sores of JOB without his
! phllOsophy-th ulcers OF Lazarus with
| out his reversion la Abraham's bosom.
What you have heard me say that
| before! No, Caudle, you never did,
don't often repeat, but do now. and
will do it again-you hare got to register,
and that amt all you have got to =.
.You are not going to do it?" Now,
Caudle, dom: be committing YOURSELF
for my mind is made up. Willing to
register; we'll, OF course you are-bui
but you have got to vote, for =. You
'"won't do it !" Caude, this is down.
right rebellion. You won't let the wo-
men vote, and YOU men have got to uote.
Are you going to keep dawdling and
mouthing and fault-finding about home
here with your hands in your pockets,
Willie the negroes are voting away the
very ground from under yonr feet p
Are you going to do it, Caudle Caudle
II do believe the man has gone to sleep
-Caudle, say, Caudle, speak to me.
and don't lie there snoring with your
mouth open like fiv-tfap. Are you
going to sit still and let the negroes set
up their mixed schools, and make our
dear little Laura Ann learn her lessons
out of the sane book with Syphax
Browns? She is exactly like you, Can-
die, except that she is not freckled and
bow-legged.
What it is against your principle to
vote for Republican? Now, Caudle,
| don't ask you to set up for Solomon
II dlI TeaSUlldIlc NulltI. SduuiG-
but you needn't be a lunatic. Is there
any sacrifice of one sensible principle.
to secure second choice when you
can't get your first? If you had the
collie. and couldn't get that dear man
Dir. Sweetoil, would you not send for
old Jones? If you can't get Withers,
why not take Walxerp Principle as
if there is any principle in not making
the best of circumstances. What, you
are tired of politics. and | must talk of
sonnet hing else? Well, | will. Have
you made Ben Oliver pay you that 5000
yet, Caudle ? You say You have COM
promised the debt at fifty cents in the
dol ar? Now, Caudle, il he owed you
part didn't he owe yon all? What-he
was going to make deed, and if you
hadn't compromised for half. you would
have got nothing? According TO y our
principles (Which don't think much Of.
Caudle), as you couldn't get all your
dues, you should have taken nothing.
Principles. Caudle, why don't you put
that lot that you guanoed so heavily in
tobacco? You say the tiyLhas eaten up
your plants, and so to make the best of
a bad bargain you will put the lot in
corn? Now, Caudle, see that you don't
lose the little sense you have for your
sky-creeping notions when it comes to
your private affairs-you are keen en-
ongh then, Caudle. 1t is only when
the loss tails on the public that you in-
dulge the luxury of a hi9h.fier.
What, you say prose too much =
You expect me to talk poetry, do you?
Then listen Candle:
"Whither mid falling dew.
While glow the heavens with the last steps
of day,
Far through their rosy depth dost thou pur-
sue
Thy solitary way?
"VainIy the fowler's eye
May mark thy distant course to do thee
As darlxly PAINTED on the crimson sky
Thy figure floats along"
What pity, Caudle, that that mag
nitice mt high-fiier should have Curned
out to be only wild goose at last All
cloud cleavers are not eagles. Caud.e-
though many a p-the-creek' takes
it into his little noddle that he is fly
up-the-sky.
You don't know ofany difference bs-
tween Walker and Wells? Nonsense,
don't you know B from Bulls toot?-
Well don't talk to me of Wells. I'd
as soon hear tell of the slime-pits OF So
dom. | tremble whenever put a let
ter in the post-office. "4ou don't know
of any difference" No, Caudle, y on
want inc to sing in the choir with Sukey
B,ueskin. You want to degrade your
poor vile and chi1dren-your poor Bet
| sy who LETT heI dear home in Puddle
town to come and live with you. |
might have married Simpkins the law
yer-and charming fellow he was!
how he could argue. and how rich he
has got !! He wouldn't have lain still
and seen hls family degraded, He amt
| LOO proud or foolish 80 vote for Walker.
Caudle, you have made me sick-you
have shattered my poor nerves till l
can't sleep. Get up and get me the as
satetida, Caudle. You can't stay in
the bed with anybody that takes ASA
fetida? No, Caudle, you ",cont k,aoso
any difference"
You say are going to register and
vote the Walker ticke.? You declare
upon honor? Now, Caudle, l always
| knew that when you got over the sulks
| you are man OF tirst-rate sense-worth
twenty Simpkinses. And when you
| vote down the test-uath and that other
| thing. We will send you to the Legis-
| lature. Turn over and kiss me, Cau-
| dle.-ERq. and Er., June l.
WHO MAY REGISTER.