The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-07-18
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wrT AM, WISDOM.

YOUR pOckSts'
dangerous associates Those who are
you can always find q sheet of water on
AIIa5 of the ocearf .f''aA~ fsslAli ~. sliea
country dentist advertises that che
snares no pains" to render his operations
satisfactory. .,a.St as IS gs.s,ssss3 41t 55slg
mEso. ~ at the end of q mans name, is
like a curl in pigs tail-more for orna-
ment than use. V1sg $50 ..9t
az saw, boy, are you upoet ~ 4" NOte
octly. sir; but I'sometimes do the rule OF
three inverse" 49,
Douglas Jerrold, on being asked what
was meant by dogmatism, answered, up
pyism come to maturity"
IF leaden bullet hits man, what strik-
inc metamorphosis takes place The
Ieaden bullet becomes felt.
~ say, wife, I'm glad this coffee don't It.
owe me anything Why, my dear !"
1Because it would never SETTLE" a.
ceorpe colman being once askedif he
Lnew Theodore Hook, g o, yes,t was his
reply, Hook and ! teye) are cid asso-
apoor Mr.. Smith has fallen down dead
of apoplezyH Has sal he eogesa Is asked one Of
the candidates. A..
what Ia the best definition of mean
man a man who values everything higher
than he does his OWN onerand character,
which he values at nothing.
Ta,kative persons seldom read. This is
omong the few truths which appear the
more we reflect upon them. For what is
reading but silent conversation .
vao of a boarler complained to the
MISTRESS that the sun must have gone under
. cIoud when the shadow of the chicken.
fell into the pot where her broth was made.
lady asked Mr.. Jekyll what was the
5;ffsrence between solicitor and an attor-
new. Precisely the same,n he answered,
- as between q crocodile and an alligator"
A little girl happening to hear her mother
sneak of going into half-mournlnS, sald,
HWhy are you going into half mourning,
mamma; are any OF oui ieia'iohs H'''h
dead2n
CLERGYMAN in Kansas complains that he
has married. but one couple in year. They
Maid him nothing, staid TO dinner, borrowed
his umbrella when they left, and never re-
turned it. -.,q q
"Jim,n said one youngster to another on
the Fourth; /" Jim, lend me two cents, wan
VERT I got mp so early that spent all my
money before breakfast. J. didn't think the
day was going to be SO long" ~
Two country attorneys, overtaking a
WAGNER ON the road, and thinking to break
a Joke upon him, asked him why his fore
horse was SO fat and tie rest so lean i ne
WAGNER, knowing them to be limos oil the
law answered that his. fore horse was q
LAWYER and the rest were his clients.
"God 61ess your9honor, you once saved
INV life.r said u begger TO q captain under
whom he had served. Saved your lie y
replied Che officer; "do you think am
doctor ~ No." answered the man, but
served under you at the battle of Corunna;
afd when YOU ran away / followed"
Mr.. Kenny, the popular dramatist, in
drinking q glass of wine, inadvertently
Swallowed small substance which nearly
cholsed him. A friend seeing his distress,
and anxious to proclaim to his companions
the sad state of the case, exclaimed, :" Ii is
cork gone down the wrong way" do
not know whether it is the way to Cork, .
said a wag who was present, " but 1t seems
very likely way to Kill kenny"
man who had unfortunately married a
scolding wife,4 happening one day to meet
the parson of the parish in which he re-
sided, complained mucIo1 the bargain he
had made, and asked advice how to relieve
his situation. The Clergyman talked to
him seriously on the business, and told him
the necessity of accommo dating tempers
on both SIDES, as n man and his wife were
one. q One doctor,n exclaimed the other
"if YOU were to hear us IN the midst OF
our alterations you would certainly swear
we were twenty"
Foote. travelling in the west of England,
dined one day at an inn. When Ine clotn
was removed the landlord asked him how
he liked his fare. I" have dined as well as
any man in England" said -Foote: .. Elk
cept his Honor, the Mayor, cried the land
lord. 81 do not except any body Whatever
said he. "But YOU must" bawled the host
Il ~ w on You must" At length the
strife ended in the landlord taking F9 cot
before the Mayor, who observed that 1t had
been customary in that town, for great
number of years; to except his Honor the
Mayer, and accordingly fined him a shil-
ling for not conforming to this ancient Gus
tom. Upon this decision Foote paid the
shilling, at the same time observing that he
thought fsthe landlord was the greatest foo
in England, except his HonoE the Mayor
Administer was travelling in the back
woods, and espying q cabin entered it on {
when she saw him approaching, rightly
Judging his errand, seized the Bible, and a!
he entered was pail intents busily engaged
in perusing the volume. He noticed, how
El,o4 cL, la -1nttprH reversed Ol