The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-04-21
Brick" Pomeroy to the President
Ny DEAR GENERAL GRANT.

cy of the "Other end of the avenue,n !
deem it my duty to offer YOU few
suggestions through the medium of the
press.
You are man of few words, and,
prior to your elevation to the Presi
dency, seldom uttered a sentence, un-
less, perhaps, it was an occasional
"thank you'' for brick house, box OF
cigars, or a bull purp.
Your worthy sire, early in Your ex-
istence on this mundane sphere dis
covered your hanging on principles.
Yon, doubtless, remember tlie COW
story of your dad, in the Ledger, when
you returned to the paternal wigwam
covered with mud, and !he COW, ditto
with head and tail erect, and with what
tenacity You refused to relinquish your
hold on the said tail, and how you came
to grief. | have watched you clos ely.
and the aforesaid tale was tho last ar
ticle that ever slipped through your
hands. You have acted wisely, and
accumulated muchly. Lots of houses,
horses, libraries, segars, buggies, boots
&c, &C., look them over closely, and
you will perceive that you are the
greatest gift concern in the country,
and now the question comes up in the
minds of the dear people, is all this
natural, is there any precedent for such
a President | guess mott figure it up
thusly: Tt was brought about by acct
dents and for you they were charming
incidents; but beware of brOther-in-
law-Dents, they will prove tue most
troublesome dents of the Trio, unless
You rid yourself of them at once--this
is the proper season to send kit;ng
Give them all first-class positions, and
not let them 'sstand upon the order
Of their going, but go at once" DON'T
let a good Office go out ofthe family, or
a good family go out of Office. 1fyou
have more places than can be filed by
your own family, go for a Washburne,
let it be either Jehu or Elihu, OF any
other hue, but go for 'em; they went for
you, and remember this is q life of re-
cipro city. Should you overlook any
of the family, and should find one
strayed or stolen, anywhere in my
travels will notify you by telegraph
or post. BY the way, speaking of the
Washburnes, did you ever know the
one that used to run the Indiana show,
and if you do and have no hard feeling
against him for exhibiting the fruits Of
your early indiscretion, what assurance
can give him that he will be provided
tor-providing he will "drop on" the
show business.
AS regards the White House, furnish it,
and don't mind the expense; paper the
wallis with greenbacks that will prevent
any change while you occupy it; have
place for everything and everything in its
place, and place Implicit confidence in all
that begging politicians say to you. Don't
let your little chriltlren attend the parties
of other little children of the District; it is
a vulgar precedent set by the little nieccs
of the ..late occupant" and you know he
is like the Dutch Embassador-ao Count.
Should disappointed delegate from the
country hit YOU, upon one cheek turn and
hit him upon the other this would I'M
doubtetily be one of the best hits of Your
AS soon as Winnie completes the stone
image of the 'late lamentcd put it in the
kitchen cabinet, it will keep rats ont of
the cellar and cats from licking ont of the
Presidential skillit, which will afford you
ample time to look closely to those holding
position, who were commissioned by A. j.,
and sho Id lou find q worthy widow,
whose husband lost his fife while dcfen-
ding the flag, holding . post-office CT q
clerkship, ship her Mt once, for what rights
has a soldiers widow that you are bound
to respect! Did you not sacrifice her hus-
band by yonr iil-planned campaigns, and
why ought she to expect a different result
in timo of peace? And should yon find
any gallant officers, who fought the war
through, and were crippled for life, hold
ing places by similar authority. weed
them out. Say TO them, as did Othello,
mo more be officers of mine" for what
right have they to hold office in time of
peace? Arc there not plenty of kerosene
patriots, who carried torches in the last
campaign, to fill all the places OF profit and
pillage. You have but one path to pur-
sue, that is to make all these lame fellows
hop out, and all the out fellows hop in.
which will create lively times. And
should you ascertain that Longstreet,
Pickett, Aioseby, or any Of the late Con-
fedcrates have determined to vote the
Radical ticket, give them good places. 1t
would be so nice to relieve General Rose
Grams of the Mexican mission, ard make
L,ngstreet Surveyor of the Port of New
Orleans 1t would show that you intend
to make treason odious to the gallant Rose
Grams, and rather mel-odious to the TRAIT
OR Longstreet. s+5
Don't forget your father, remember how
kind hewas to yOn When you were em-
ballning cow-hidcs in the great Mississippi
Valiey--what an interest he took in your
welfare, and how reluctantly he used to
say farewell, when you paid him an occa
sional visit, the only thing he says You
ever did pay him, or any one else before
the water We haye barely time to repeat
don't forget your dad. -
In the patronage Of this great State, re-
member yonr party have a great deal at
stake, aud according to the Evening Post,
Fenton holds the stakes with grasp that
YOURSELF never gives anything back
hence great wealth never has como sud-
denly upon You. Both your lines of BUSH
ness have been somewhat similar--while
you was shocking corn i'll the West he was
It fling mattresses in tho East; while you
were selling wood in st. Louis he would
sell any of his friends in New York Keep
on as you have commenced, give no office
to poor men outside of your own family.
Poor men never gave you ANYTHING but a
vote, and that they will take back the first
opportunity, ''you bet''
In conclusion, permit me to add that
you will need an organ, through which
you will communicate with the people; be
and get one that g1'iads
Up in a Balloon, Boys,
for that will be tho termination of your
bull pup administration.
Z. ST. have just discovered valuable
remedy for the toothache. One applica-