The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1869-04-02


I was at work In my room. yesterday. when
tall specimen Of upright humanity stalked In.
"Are you d. Py' il asked. .. t.
Since entering upon my vocation of correspon.
dent, mean truthful, Independent correspon.
dent, i regard that question with suspicion.
quietly reached out, In careless, graceful man.
ner put my right hand on paper weight Of few
pounds, made of BLACK diamond-homogeueou
cast Steel bent cold" for the use OF the learned
committee on commerce, and regarded my visi'
He was man Of about ffty-six, with bald
head, curious, sharp little eyes, an undecided
nose, and chin that retreated into paper collar.
The far West, and had evidently exhausted the
genius CT village tailor. His legs were slender
and shaky, not from age, but from habit OF never
Strengthening them a. the knee. said to myself
this is not fghtist, BE shuffies through life;
on the paper weight and boldly responded:
That 10 my name, SIR"
81 am Nj. =, member Of Congress from =:
cur ns pspss S me- 70 ocL yos me
81 am glad to know you, sir. Take seat.
What can do for your
Al want some psssss.' he said. earnestly. seat
What sort Of pascal"
81 fear 1 can not help you 10 that way, Mr..
-. had pass for myself and family, from
the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, but because, in
return for the compliment. I said the president
had locomotive in his belly, / am cut OF. But
why do you want passes' Are you preparing to
~ wish could, nhe answered sadly. 81 wish
could. No, that's not il. am run down by
offce.seekers from my district. They pile In on
me at my boarding house. l have been sleeping
every night on my bedroom floor. They follow
me about and chase me down. They have smoked
all my cigars and drank up all my whisky, and
now they are getting oct Of money and want TO
borrow. heard where to find you; made an
excuse to 60 into en- alley, and ran away. A
police officer thought was thief, and ran after
ming from the ofice.seekers. He said that was
ruff, and let me 60. There Is one, . woman, worse
than all the rest. She wants the best posto6ics l
have. What in the Internal jinks does Grant mean
by setting sHch an example! All the females In
my district are writing TO me, and two hundred
will be here. somehow, If we don't repeal this fool
law and fill the Offices. This woman torments my
life out; and yet, i give her the office. won't
dare go home. She follers me up like Satan. /
can't eat, i can't sleep, can't put on q clean
shirt, she pops 10 on me so unexpected. Now IL
/ had a railroad pass"
''How would that help you"
~" 81 believe, IL could say to her, can't give
you an Office, but here is q railroad pass she'd
take ii and go. But, Lord love you, want hun
died. They're getting out Of money, tell you.
and If only had 'em. Now, can't you help me
You newspaper men always have lots OF passes.
The editor in our town hasn't paid railroad fare
for morn twenty years."
had TO assure my poor friend that really
could not help hiu. i suggested to bin to get
sign painted, "Snadlpor an this house." and put
1t up over bis door.
"Pooh" he cried. do you suppose they'd care
for that! Every bloody one of 'em would get
vaccinated and work in on me. Cholera would
not keep 'em of. | wish I'd been sunk in eternal
thunder before consented to come to Congress.
Consenteds ! worked like mule for 1t. II cost
me all OF eight hundred dollsrs-more fool I.
What can / do Ny neighbors and constituents
wanted q national dog law, for the better protec-
ton of sheep, and to raise the price Of wool. Why
1t would take fellow two years to learn the rules,
and then don't think could DO q hooter. But
cuss these office seekers"
% You are safe on the floor, however,"
"Devil bit. They get round the doors, and
send in their names. They run up in the gallery,
to see If Pm there and then down they come. 1
hid in the barber.shop every day for week,
before they found me out And then Little
bang, who wants to be minister TO Europe, wrote
home TO the paper, and said had been made
chairman Of the standing committee on hair.n
How long my friend would have continued his
lamentations can not ssy, but he was inter-
rupted by arrival of sixteen of his friends and
left very detected. .i.s