davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

EITHER Mr.. Benjamin F. Butler is not
fortunate in his comparisons, or Mr.. John
Il. Farnswosth is the most potean Radical
in congress. Farnsworth is rather vain of
his antiquity in the cause of fanaticism, and
is apt to taunt Strabismus with the fact
that the radical pedigree is a very short
one. Butler retorted, the other day, by
comparing Farnsworth to old cheese. On
Friday he changed the comparison by say
ing that ''some people thought more of Ju-
das than of Paul, because Judas was the
older apostle of the twain"
1t is easier TO perceive a resemblance be-
tween Fransworth and old cheese than be-
tween Farnsworth and Judas, or between
Butler and Paul. Judas went out and
hanged himself, being thus both the nom
NATIVE and objective Of the verb to hang.
But F~arnsworth will only stand in the object
I'VE case while the sheriff will personate the
n~ominatiye. Between Butler and Judas the
resemblance would DO perfect, but for the
fact that Judas betrayed only one master,
whereas Butler has already betrayed six. oil
seven, and is laying his plans to betray
another. rl
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

Lambert, the French Arctic explorer,
who is lecturing in France for the purpose Of
collecting the necessary funds for another
expedition to the North Pole, uses the fol-
ture which he delivers; fIf the French can
not collect two hundred thousand francs for
an Arctic expedition, then they are no longer
the first and greatest people on earth ~
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

PAPER CoFFINs. To the various paper
productions of this paper age-paper col
lars, paper shirts, and even paper waist
coats, bonnets and hats-must now be add
ed paper collins. NJ. Szerelmey, their
inventor, seems 10 have a belief in the
universal adaptability of paper TO all the
needs Of civilized life. He undertakes TO
coat ships with 1t, and make them imper-
vious to shot; he employs it in the manu-
facture or construction Of rocket cases,
powder canisters, Hilray carriages, drain
pipes aud party walls. He claims that it
is at once lighter, stronger, harder and
cheaper than any other material hitherto
in use for these purposes, not excepting
iron and steel and stone. His object in
introducing it in the manufacture of cot.
fms is to obtain what so many people
rather absurdly consider q desideratum-a
perfectly air-tight, waterproof, and damp
defying shell, which nothing from without
can penetrate, and nothing from within
can escape. The Zopissa paper coffin, in
which these conditions are said to be full
filed, is a s"olid-looking structure, very
much resembling, in build and thickness,
the ancient mummy cases preserved in the
British Museum
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

TW BEsr AND ORIGINAL Tonic OF Iron
Phosphorus, and Calisaya, known as
Forro Phosphorated Elixir of Ca
lisaya Bark. The Iron restores color to
the blood, the Phosphorus renews waste Of
tho nerve tissue, and the Calisaya gives
thereby curing dyspepsia in its varioua
forms, W%akofulness, General Debility and
Depression of Spirits. Manufactured only by
oAbWELL, HAZARD & CO.. successors to
Caswell, Mack q Co., New York. Sold by all
Druggists.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

LoRD BRoUoHAM died without any assets,
having, long before his death, by deed Of
gift made over everything--e Chancellor s
pension, house and land, books, plate, fur
niture to his brother William, the present
peer, who in return provided for all ex-
penses. Aversion TO trouble about money
matters Is said 90 have suggested this ar
mngement. The Inland Revenue authori-
ties, at first incredulous, satisfied them
selves by private inquiry rs to the bona
fides and validity Of the deed Of gift. tits
a curious fact that an ex-Lord Chancellor,
who for upwards Of thirty years received a
pension Of & 5000 a year, died without pay
ing q shilling Of probate or legacy duty.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

"a DOLLAR SAVED Is A DOLLAR EARNED"
but how to do ", in these hard times, il the
question. Although machinery and skilled
labor have wonderfully c~heapenod produce
tion, the number Of middle-men (such as
commission merchants, wholesaler, jobber,
retailer, &c, &c,) has a. wonderfully in.
creased, and as each of this class must have
a large profit, tho consumer il really worse
of than ever. But a stop in now being put
to this state ofthings, PARKER& Co., of Bos-
ton, (whoae name is already a household
the problem, and under their Dollar s lie
Club system not only ono but many dollars
can be saved. They have ample capital, and
buy directly from first hands for cash, and
have hundreds Of articles, at a dollar each,
which they claim cannot be bought in coun-
try retail stores for more than double the
money, which can be easily verified by their
circular, which they viii send free TO any adj
dress. For their terms to agents and other
particulars, see advertisement in another
column.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
Mnshhnrne,sI uitln anmn.

Reliable Washington authority makes the
statement that Washburne, during the last
hours he was Secretary of State. recon-
mended Al names 10 the President for con-
sulships, comprising, of course, all Of the
important ones in that branch OF service.
Six Of these names were from Galena, Ill.
The proceeding will appear the more dis
graceful when the fact is known thatitis the
practice TO appoint ON tho recommenda-
ton of the department. thus showing that
Washburne expected to get these names
appointed. In the list of applicants be
wrote opposite certain names '~'promised, Z"
so as 10 indicate 10 Secretary Fish the dis
position that had been made by his prede-
cessor- q two days secretary-of twenty
very important foreign positions. II has
also been discovered that just before leav-
ing congress, Washburne got the salary of
the second assistant secretary o obligation 10
France increased TO 50, 900 dollars in gold,
and a few days aiterward, he requested
Frank Moore should be appointed as his
(Washburne's) second assistant secretary.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

LOUISIANA Rock SALT MrNEs.-The
main shaft is six feet by four, and n depth
has been reached of twenty-ono feet. II is
proposed to mine to a depth Of fifty feet
and then to extend galleries due north and
south and work the main on the latest aud
most scientific principles. As Mr., @. ex-
plains this 10 us we gaze in wonderment
rather more natural than scientific ut the
four smooth, clear, glass-like walls Of solid
salt that form the shaft. "What is the OK
tent, I" we ask, "oi this wonderful bed2' II
underlies, seplies Mr.. G., Sin my opinion,
the entire island Experiment has shown
that it exists under n continuous area of
one hundred and forty four acres" Sup
posing that to be tho extreme limit of the
deposit, with q thickness such as you have
mined to here, how much salt would that
yioldY' "About 1900, 600 tuns." As we
called To mind the fact that the Southern
States annually consume 1907 600 tuns, we
sadly reflected That the little patch would
only last us ninety years.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
Uuttru.
THE CHARGE OF THE BRIGHT
BRIGADE.


THE following pleasant parody on Tennyson's
famous Battle Ode appeared in the Boston Tran
script o. February 1N 165N n vas. ~ ne time,
regarded as the most successful Of the many at
tempts to parodizet he production Of the Poet Lau-
reate. 81 England 9TH Bright. Brigade" refers
TO the "0crmap CotHnon" which was, even at that
time, the favoriie Uiosing dance 81 the private balls
in the city Of Boston. In the second stanza the
name Of the Ecntleman, who was then the primer
pal leader in the Cotilion, is here left In blank.
The production Of this aprightly parody was as
cribed To tho daughter Of a distinguished citizen OF
Boston. The German Cotilliuhl being sill the IA
vorite dance IN OR city ut the present time, the
reprint Of the parody may be Of interest to many
who are now enlisted in the Bright Brigade;l
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

The TUTOR OF THE Prince IMPERIAL has
the utmost difficulty in weaving the "child
Of France" from calling his illustrious
father "Todo.' In the first years of her
welded life, the Empress Eugene was in.
the habit Of calling the Emperor f.lf0n
TODD, a French and a Spanish word mean
ing 'my all" The child heard il so often.
he called his father s"Todo," and not
papa" The Empress now addresses the
Emperor with Louis" and the Emperor
addresses her with mamma" The favor
tie word Of the Empress is 'JoT (nico),
which she often uses in a very ludicrous
manner. For instance, she said the battle
of Mentena was 'lne jolie dfdire," and she
also speaks of dangerous diseases and
wounds as 'jOH." ..sI.I..
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

GRANT n HIS OFFICERS. Every man,
says the New York Sun (Radical) who has
bestowed gifts on Gen. Grant is thereby dis
qualified from holding any Office of power
or profit by Gen. Grants appointment. We
don't mean that he is legally disqualified,
there is no statute bearing on the subject,
because zone has ever been thought neces-
sary, But disqualified by the law of per-
sonal d~elicacy, public policy, anda decent
respect for the worlds opinion. Cannot
Mr.. Borie understand that people will say
that he has bought this great Office, thathe
has bought his great office, that he has OBJ
tanned IL by gifts OF money and Of other
thingsp Ofcourse, we do not admit for a
moment that such is the truth; for we IN
derstand Gen. Grant too well TO believe
that he would be influenced by such sordid
motives. But Mr.. Borie, who is a man of
the world, and cannot put in any plea of
ignorance, was bound to understand from
the beginning thathe ought MOTTO seek for,
or 10 take any such place, because the ZEN
ehciary, or, If you prefer, the %pecuniary re-
lations between himself and the General
were such that he could not d~ecorously re-
receive any office except one of mere COM
pliment at his hands, II will not do 10
have the'honor of the presidency and the
most important functions of the executive
government soiled and degraded by giving
even our enemies the least ground for sus.
pecting them to be allotted upon reasons
Of pecuniary influence and obligation.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
c

~
The Great Western Compound Company, with a
capital OF $50, 600, call the attention OF the commu-
nifty 70 the fact that they are manufacturing n REM
cay tor Coughs, oolds. Whooplng Cough. and all
tho most universal satisfaction In eperg locality
where II has teen used. DIR. Benedict. the paten-
zee Of thiN Somposnd' having sold out a part Of his
Immediately set on foot 10 bring this popular RENEE
dy beforothe American people since the organiza-
non OF ms company, there has been an Increasing
pany are constantly receiving orders from all points
Of tho United States and the Canadas. and they feel
eonhdent dat there has no remedy been brought
before, the public previous 10 this, that has ac-
complished as much for suffering humanity In so
so short a time. Tcsunopials are sent to us from
every quarter speaking Ia is favor az the greatlung
person throughout the land that has given Il a trial.
pronounce this remedy to be the very article
needed by the world The following testimonials
from some OF tho best druggsts in the State OF
WISCONSIN are presented 10 lhe readers OF this
paper, az evidence offs virtues, and we would say
in all candor that these mas be taken asa sample al
the many that We are receiving from different per,
sons. all OF which have come To us unsolicited.
OFFIoE OF THE LANCASTER DRuG EMPoRIuA,l
MrssRs, O. BEsE5ioT 4 20. EdsSnh isPs Z y Win,
P&Is sstsi ssP GsSs so sh5SG 20 81 B tS1s ssf' wa more e EISS S5ss.
This valuable medicine has been sold 10 this place
own meFlts / waTrspted eyer bottle TODD as recon
tie has been returned It's extensive ale and ircreassd
reputation IN " short a time, aud all without It's coming
being heraldod BY the papers. cor vince me Of Its supes
rortyi aud II gives mo pleasure TO add my testimony to
that Of others 10 It's favor
". b BAXTER, Prsctical Chemist.
wAupus, Wis, October q, 1867.
MERsRB. q. BENEDICT A 90, Omr0. Wis -
GENTsi-I consider your Great Western COMPOUND
one Of the best cough preparations ever sold, and have
sold moreott for the past six months than any six al
the other preparations In my etore.
Yours truly, r. W. WELLS, Druggist.
MILTON, Wis, February IL, 1868
OlROs bEHEDiCft fsQ., OmFo, Wis.,
DEAR SIR;-The Compound you sent me Is nearly
all gone. nave warranted every bottle and have had
mono returned, but all, so far as 1 nave hoard, are well
usasea ana satisfied that II IA the best thing fora
] would like about two dozen large and one dozen
small hend byM U. Express. .
Ar 8 i. W fooTE. Agents. Milwaukee,
o1Ey RS J. FIs \ 60, Chicago III
Great Western Compound 90. omro, Wis,
In the Circuit Court, IN Rutland, VT, on
the 9th, Horace r. Plumley was sentenced
to be hung for murder, Seibo Plumley~ WAS
sentenced TO State Prison for life, and Fred
erick Plumleyat0 State Prison for twenty
years, for ma~nslaughter. TIL parties arc
the father and two sons who killedJohn Gill
man, Jr., at Shrewsbury, Vt, August let,
wy @ 30 @ a, ses ass
@an ~ @aas
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
More About GIT and Real Estate Schemes
Figures Do Not LIe-Facts for the
=. People.
Look upon This Picture. And On This.

Look upon THIS Pictures And on This.
In the Crosby Opera Constantly before the
House scheme there were public are the liberal
10000 tickets aud 500 schemes OF the fairly and
prizes, two Of which we've honorably conducted
valuable, while the others Missouri STATE LEGAI~
were OF nominal value fzEp LOTTERY, In which
only, being a prize u the prizes ARE ALL CASH,
nearly every 1000 tickets an article which cannot
III the. Smith Mill aud be put IN at a fictitious
Farm scheme there were value, nor covered with
$4,000 tickets. with lU2 Mortgages in which there
prizes, viz; 100 bbls. ilour, will never be found any
d mill aud q farm. Thelwtld lands nor sewing
ratio Of prizes being / TO machinCs as prizesl
every 53sI cketsll Read the following con-
In the Paschall House|densed scheme and Judge
scheme horc were 100 900 OF the chances Of drawing
tickets. The prizes, ! to.a prize in CASH, rs COM
every 200 tickets, were putpared with the chances
In at an immense yer'Val-comprised In the before.
uaton, and some mortgage mentioned enterprises:
cd 10 their full value, rem In the GREAT SINGLE
derinB them really value NUMBER LOTTERY, which
less 10 the Us.lucky hold draws on Thursday, April
ers Of prize tickets. Aeli5th, there arc I,I3O
an example Of the talselprizes In 10000 tickets,
value placed upon props he highest being
erty Incorporated In this S5O 900 and the sum
and similar echemeH, weltotal being S33O,25O
will take the Paschall 1 PRIZE TO EVERY Az
House Itself. II IVES put %rcKETsi
In AT $3.50. COO and mbso. These Lotteries draw
quenuy 1t was sold for positiyely on the day
s9b,OOO' specified and are never
In the rccentd drawing OtlpostpOned. Call at, or
the Gardner scheme therelsend 10 tho Managers
were "a, 1859 tickets, and 8 1'Ofic0 for schemes, circu.
prizes, being l prize tOIlars or tickets, 2Os and
every 1883 tickets, $40 Olive street, over
while In the 81. LouislUnion National Bank.
Hotel scheme at New
Orleans, there are l26, 400. @. II. MURRA 4 o
tickets aud 70 prizes, be-
ing ! prize TO every MARAGRRs,
l0,533G ucketsl
p n Roy p at
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

AT seven o'clock Tuesday morning, in
Memphis, A. j.. Wait, In a ht Of insanity, with
a Ratchet, Drained Newbury Gibson, his room
mate, and then rushed into the adjoining
blows, receiving a terrible wound in the
hand. Wait then run back to the room where
he had killed Gibson, and screaming out
farewell TO the world" leaped from tho
window on the third floor, killing himself
instantly. Nelson is in a critical condition.
Ait he parties we're formerly prominent mer-
chants in Memphis.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

Why such concerns AZ
those above nam cd
should create such a flu
rore among the people is.
a mystery.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
@. II. MURRAY & co.,
MARAGERs.
2. o, Boz 3,347.

DELIcIoUsLY MEDICINAL.-This Is the uni
yersal verdict pronounced upon PLANTATION
BITTERs by all who have tried them. The
well-known health-promoting ingredients
from which they are made, and their inyalu-
able merits az a remedy for indigestion and
all its consequent ailments, and the proven
tive qualities against diseases arising from
climatic changes, miasmatic influences and
imperfect socretions, are 30 widely known
and so h0norably endorsed, that we trust no
one will forego the advantages Of their use.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16
Prospeets for Sugar.

The Baton Rouge CLa) Advocate says:
''Steadyn md quietly is the advance ofsmall
farmers into the cultivation of cane. In a
very few years the country between the Am-
lite and Mississippi rivers will produce an ag-
pregate ~ofthousauds Of h~ogsheads, all the
results OF the enterprise and industry ofthe
farmers OH small tracts of land, scattered
around 1T intervals 10 the present time are
places with twenty, thirty, and forty acres
of cane planted. These will. yield an aver
age of from twenty to sixtyhogsheads OF Su-
gar next fall, and bring great profit to the
cultivators, The true policy of every farm
er, on high lands OF low lands, is to get IN
some portion of his land in Sugar Cane.
If not grown to be manufactured into Sugar
and Molnsses the product always bears
high prices, and the cane is fine o Tor
stock. In another year there should not
be n open cultivable place in East Lou
isiana upon which a more or less quantity
of cane is notgrowing.
M~ANsLAuorER on THE Hon SEAs.-The
United States District Court is engaged in
irving the case of William Graham, n sea-
man, charged with manslaughter in killing
Thomas Benson. third mate Of the ship
John Bright, at Fayal, on the 9Th Of Feb
ruary last. The crew was employed in
hosting in q cargo ofcrockery and Graham
was engaged in checking off the crates as
they were lowered into the hold. Benson
was standing near by upon an elevated
platform experimenting the business
Graham missed the number of one crate,
owing to its being upside down, and desir-
ed 70 have IT held n minute until he could
learn the number. The third mate, Ben
son, desired 10 know "why in h-lr' Gra-
ham didn't get in a proper position to SEQ
the numbers. Graham responded, and
then Benson proposed to dust his head
and jumped down and commenced pound
ing on that organ with his fists. During
the encounter Graham put q knife into
Benson's body, the. blade entering between
the seventh and eighth ribs ard penetrat-
ing the heart, causing death in about bali
an hour.-BoSton Herald, 3D.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

A good medicine Z a welcome friend ia every house,
hold, for Il not only relieves the sick but II brings with
Il the assurance OF \ speedy cure. Booh a medicine u
Being ave tines a. strong As the best Cod Liver Oils
sold, Il will cure affections OF the Lungs, &c by arrest
Every one Ssdering should giVS III trial. IL is sold
everywhere.
$3.50 nn.AiaaI "a ~ n whiti0.,.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

MAGNOLIA WATER,-Superior to the best
imported German Cologne, and sold at half
the price.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

--Whittier's poems are very popular in
Europe, especially In Denmark and Sweden.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

PRryATE medical aid. Read pr. whittier'a
advertisement.
The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1869-04-16

whose Perry Davis Pain Killer is as uniyer
sally known asthe diseases to which human
flesh is heir. II is manufactured in ProSi.
dence, II. l., sent here in barrels and put up
In bottles by very ingenius machinery, as are
their other medicines.
Aliens Lung Balsam, has been before the
public only fiye years, but has already attnin-
ed a great reputation and very large sales
throughout the United States and CAnadas,
as the best eIpectorant aud remedy for dis
eases OF the lungs, chest aud thrOatf j haVo
tried this balsam and can testify 10 it's
merits. 1880 wa Eg
Mr.. f. II. @. Allen, tho resident partners
came here from New London, Ct, ~twenty.onr
years ago, to establish the Pain-Killer, and
by his energy, skill aud business qualities
has made for Il a reputation, and built up q
trade of which he may well be proud. But
the great secret OF his success is the value
OF hia medicines. Worthless articles may
DO pAlmed off upon the public for a time, by
persistent putting, but none save those Of
real m~erit-lke this can stand the test of a
quarter Of a century. We predict for Aliens
Lung Balsam a success equalto that OF Perry
Davis Pain Killer. M
Miss Anna Dickinson's ~"Struggle for Life"
was represented at Pixies Opera House ,last
evening, but having a hard sOld and having
heard this struggle" repeated several times
in other cities, i took a good dose OF Aliens
Lung Balsam, wentto bed, slept soundly and
aWoke this morning refreshed. D..
The Portland daily press., 1869-11-03

A railroad accident occurred near Harrows-
burg, N Y, yesterday, by which a man (the
brakeman) was burned to death and fourteen
cars of freight consumed.
Earthquake throughout Germany Tuesday.
The chair mandatory of Adams & Holden
at Westminster was burned Monday. Loss
$250000
+. p. Smith, left Kittery navy yard Tuesday
for Norfolk, to be used as receiving ship.
The Cincinnati Board of Education have
voted, % to 10, to exclude the Bible from the
public schools. OF the twenty-five voting in
favor ten were Republicans and twelve Demo
Gratis, with the following nominal religions:
PrOtestants 3, Catholics 10, free thinkers 8,
jew 1. OF the fifteen votes against excluding
the the Bible, twelve were Republicans and
three Democrats. Nominal religions: Protest
ants IL, free thinkers 1, jew 1. The champion
of the party for excluding the Bible was Rev.
Thomas Ii. Vickers, left wing liberal. The
champion for sustaining the Bible was Rev. A.
d. Mayo, Unitarian A resolution of the
board prohibits the use of religious books and
the singing of religious songs in school.
j. II. Beadle, editor of the Utah Rep0rter,
while attending the Probate Court at Bingham
City, was assaulted and beaten nearly to DEATH
1t is alleged that the articles of Mr. Beadle
.ainst polygamy caused the attack.
Wait Powelps stable in Brooklyn, N. Y,
and q tenement house adjoining were burnt
Tuesday afternoon. Mr.. PowelPs loss is 10000.
The Illinois Central Railroad Company's
freight car paint ahop on the Lake Shore be-
tween 9th and 29th streets, took fire last
night and was completely destroyed with its
contents including sixteen freight cars. The
loss will reach $4,000, which is fully covered
by insurance.
The Tennessee House of Representatives
yesterday, by a vote of IS to 30, tabled the res
Olution offered Tuesday for the election of a
United States Senator on the ground of Mr..
Cooper's ineligibiity.