The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-05-27
Editorial Short-Straws,

head off fellow who had stolen an idea
-Brownlow is now in Tennessee strong
smell of birthstone follows him wherever he
goes.
The eagle is still the royal bird Of Amer
lea, exclaims an old fogic. 1t is a nasty bird
that bcfouls its own nest.
Mrs. Lincoln, it is said, is to be married
to somebody in Europe. What says the ghost
of the g late lamented 2"
A Western circus-rider was recently
killed while attempting to ride two horses at
once This should be warning to Grant.
A landlord in California has a dog which
he uses instead of gong. lie squeezes the
animal s tail, and the howl wakes up the board
ers.
The Clark Courier culogizes The Valley
| of Virginia, and among the recommendations
mentions the fact that Ay1ropAoJia is wholly
unknown.
"A terrible duel was recently fought in
Tennessee between two negroes It ended in
their throwing down their guns and butting
each other.
1t is rumorcd that Grant sits for hours
in kind of stupor, from which his wife with
difficulty arouses him. The rye faces follow,
Of course.
Tho new Postmaster Of Memphis got
his office because he gave Gen Grant the
rink when Stonewall Jackson was after him.
There's a good deal in wink
1t is said that Sims, the follow who was
appointed Postmaster of Savannah has no
qualifications for office, except that he is a
negro.
A cat fish was caught at Kansas City,
lately which weighed, when dressed, 1913 lbs.
There were also a number Of kitten fish all a,s-
dressed weighing something less
| A $4,000 horse has been purchased in
Macon, for Bishop Bcekwith, Of Georgia. In
the primitive days Of Christianity prclatcs
were content to ride on asses.
1t was promised that q the army would
be reduced one half" In order that this
may be accomplished the War Department
has ordered that the recruiting be resumed!
A Radical letter writer complains of
Senator spraguc's habit Of keeping his hands
in his pockets while addressing the Senate.
spraguc knows what kind of company he is
in.
The great question will soon be settled j;
a negro Convention commenced its session
Yesterday in Richmond :" to consult upon the
issues at present affecting the colorcd men
politically, financially and socially"
There has been an exciting pow wow of
strong minded feminines in New York. They
are determined to vote We should like to
see the man who can prevent them when they
once make up their minds to do it.
An enthusiastic Radical exclaims exult-
ingly that Grant is excepting watch in the
Cuban difficulty. Now if the watch = don't
belong to him he ought not to keep it; that Is
Buffers way
-A large number Of lantern ,jawcd and
long legged animals attached to carpet-bags
are at present prowling and bowling over the
State. They are said to be office seekers and
belong to the Radical party.
\
There is trouble in the Radical camp
Grant snubs Sumner and shanks, and they
snub back again. Grant makes rye faces.
and Shanks calls the State Department pisca.
| torta2
Tho Davenport brothers have been ex-
l1biting in Boston. One of the committee
to tie the hands was Warden Of the State
prison. He produced handouts but they
refused to allow the bracelets to be used.
The New York press is whining over the
barbarity Of whipping post used in one of
the Delaware prisons, and at tie same time
petitions are circulating through the city to
permit sohoolmasters to fog the boys! Con-
slstency, thou art jewel
A reliable gentleman reports that an
intimate friend Of his heard of fourth cous-
III of his who having consulted the family
tree and book of heradry, has ascertained
that he is related colaterally, to the Grant
family lie expects an Office, if any are left.
Here is Gen. Grants letter to Colonel
MARYLAND op presenting that saddle:
present this saddle rot for any intrins
le value it possesses, but as mark Of friend
ship and esteem after continued service with
you through the great rebellion, commencing
at Carlo: ILL.,, in 1861, to the present day,
and | hope not yet ended
Yours, truly, q. S. GRANT,
Lieutenant General"
Which means, when translated, that the
rebellion commenced at Cairo, and is not he
hopes, yet ended. :.
PHYSICAL SURVEY OF VIRG1NIA.-This
excellent work has been issued from the press
OF d. Van Nostrand, n Y. As its name i'm
ports, it is survey of Virginia, exposing
her geographical position, commercial advan-
tages and national importance; and is a pre-
| liminary report by Nj. F. Maury, Professor
| of Physics. at the Military Institute Teyino