The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1869-08-27
MORNING, AUGUST 27. 1869.
Josh Billings at Long Branch.

The best description Of this fashionable
bathing place, Is that Of Josh Billings
In his letter he says:
Arrived here just in timo tow see the
Adlantik Osean, which Is now on exhibit
shun and dewing good Dizziness tow full
houses. Took bath tew onst, and was
astonishcd to find the water so salturous
inquired the kauze ov an intelligent natif,
and he informed me he didn't care; think
tho cuss lied. There IL about ono hundred
and sixty thousand human beings and other
folks, here now, az near rs i kan git at It;
I kounted till got tired, and then esti-
mated. 1t Is pcrfekly heart renting tew
see the feemails here In search ov natural
protectors. kounted 10 yesterday in
one pile, they awl sighed az I past bi them,
with downcast eyes. I felt sorry for them
but couldn't help them. for am thorough
ly married and intend tew remain so.
There Is two brceses here sea breeze
and q jerzec breeze, for the other Is 50 used
up before 1t reaches here, that 1t soon
uses up every body after It gets here.
Shoddy and Petroleum are both here. and
exsite M much notise az n patent churn,
warrented to make butter In ten minutes
from skim milk, but they say they shant
remain long, hekause the mir smells so
much like old brine. Yesterday I went
out krnbbing and ketchod peck of them.
they bite sideways, and hang on like dead
hoss shoe, they mako good vittels enuff,
but they aint profitable to eat, ifyou kount
your time wurth ennything. They have
n singular bug here, which they call the
muskctow, they roam about In herds and
are much respected by the inhabitants; I
caut one day before yesterday, sticking
something sharp into me, and carried the
bug into mi room, and smashed him on
the sli. The bathing is luxurious, and
the bathers resemble mermaids, half men
and half women; and they dress in the
chocktaw kostom, and when they emerge
from the water, you cant tell which Is
who unless you ask them. After bathing
you feel kind of lackness of limberness,
for which was advised to bathe In whiske.
/ took one immcrshun, about n tumblcr,
and never felt so stout in mi life. I tho't
I could lift an aker of their land. but bimc.
by after Ticker had let go, felt rs though
/ could follcr an angle worm into his hole
and hadn't strength enuff to ask dog to
follcr me-if ever drink sum more jersec
whiskce, II will be after I am ded and gone.
There Is one church here, but 1t would
hold so few that nobody never 60 out OF
politencss. There Is 81 hotels, and they
are principally built out of doors, tcw give
tho guests rs much brinaqucous mir az pos
siblc. The lodging rooms arc small, but
handy, each one haz a door to them and q
looking glass on the wall. and two wash
boles and towel. Dinner Is served ut two
O'Clock, opens with soup, and shuts up
with hucklcburry. The servants arc gen.
orally blak, but many ov them have lived
so long among the whites that they begin
tew adopt our kullur. The beach, by moon.
lite, Is worthy ofa philosopher. Lovers
meet here from aul parties Of the kuntry
to vow and swarc, and menny heartc
Gums hero tuff and goes home smashed,
and bleeding ut every pour. But the grand
attrakshun IL the Atlantik Osean, great
himisphcer ov liquid life and power, blue
water everywhere the eye kan reach, az
gentle az a summer evening mil pond,
and then agin, NJ awful NJ water earth.
quake. Upon the whole, Long branch IL
a sensible place to visit; think there IL
az little nonsenz there generally NJ the
same number Of visitors arc capable ov.
JOSH BILLINGS.