The Cairo evening bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1868-1870, 1869-06-30
A GHOsTLY ExPEDIENT.
Oh what . lump was There, my Cosnsrx-
Thaeves In she Night, ssA How thew were
frightened

/ man don't feel comfortable In q
large, lonely house, oi a dark night,
with no weapons, when he hears peos-
liar noises; and when he becomes aware
that desperate burglars are in his room,
armed with terrible PISTOLS and huge
knives, the sensation is anything but de-
licious. He don't feel aiy Of the ecstacy
Of Tennyson's lotus eaters; but, ION the
contrary, quite the revese." Cold chills
will gallop over him; ! million cent?
pedss will run race uI his back bone
and all unite In a grandrough and tum-
BILE fight on the crown OF his head; if he
is not bald, the hairs Of his head, one az
ter another, very slowly and deliberately,
but very deterninedly, will rise up and
stand stiff as pokers; a desire to be any
| place else will take entire possession OF
him, and he will be, to oil intents and
purposes, a very miserable fellow.
We do not know whether our friend
E, the Cairo partner Of the largest,
best and cheapest boot and shoe estab-
lishment in Cairo, enjoyed these sensa-
tons the other night; but we do know u
man who would have had all Of them, and
more, II he had been.ia Els skin In the
eventful occasion TO which we refer. IL
is q well known fact that T.. Is a careful
man, and not much afraid Of anybody
He sleeps in q room above the store;
and, generally, keeps for use on short
notice, an excellent pistol, bought ex
pressly for the purpose OF perforating
burglars. But, conscious security breeds
carelessness and indifference In the most
careful men; and L. had become infect
ed. He thought there was no danger,
and began to leave his pistol in the
storeroom ut night He was guilty Of
this carelessness on the night In ques-
ton; and, to put the expression into
"spasmodic" language, soon after he re-
tired, he embraced the somnorlilc deity.
yard yawning hour, and just before the
"heralds Of the morning." (or in more
prosaic language, the ROSTERS ofthe city,
footed their horns TO tell OF coming dawn,
while all was yet darkness, f. awoke.
We are glad TO say that bright dream
WAril I tilt fttftf aibiObBh ht ~ III tit
shoe business; but 1t might have been.
He awoke, and became aware OF the
fact, that burglars We're in the storeroom
beneath him, "going through things,
anu helping themselves TO what they
wanted. What should he do? He had
no pistol. The burglars had that He
had no weapon Of any kind; and he
annII ~ raaah tho ~ "a front
rear, 10 give an alarm. They were viii
lians who make boot out OF all men; and
they were iucontinently making off with
the fine boots Of the firm. Theirs was
not bootless labor; that was evident. T..
felt an intense desire to apply the toes of
his individual bootsl.to their persons;
but beinga wise man, he knew discre.
ton TO be the better part Of valor, and
he didn't make the attempt. But some
thing had TO be done; and L. did 1t.
Taking the sheet from the bed he
wrapped 1t around his body, and quietly
removed the trap.door from the hatch
way In his room. The burglars, still busy,
were walking about the room,
carefully "gobbilng" boots and shoes
with astonishing ability. After awhile
they came directly under the hatchway,
when f. uttered q most heartrendlng
groan and dropped among them, ghos
as perfect.as ever came from the grave.
Che tables were now turned. 1t was The
burglars time 10 be frightened. They
thought the devil was to pay; that the
day ofjudgement was at hand; that all
the grave yards In Christendom had
broke loose. We cannot assert, positive
ly, that their souls were narrowed up;
that their eyes, like stars, started from
their spheres; or that their knotted ard
uncombed locks parted and stood on end
like .quills upon the fretful porcupins;
but they were frightened. There can be
no doubt of that. They left their plum
der, and decamped followed by the mys-
ferrous groans Of Il. who had fallen upon
them in such questionable shape Nor
We're Els groans forced. The jump was
perilous one; and, in the darkness, he
fell against counter or box and raised a
"goose's egg" on his head, an ornament
he wears even yet But what Of that?
He had been successful. The robbers
We're gone; and his boots and shoes were
safe. He now sleeps with three or four
pistols, and is offering his stock Of goods
at such low figures every body must buy.
All the mems, women's, boys and girls
shoes that the robbers didn't get are be-
ing sold at ruinous rates, so that Z. may
not be reminded by looking at them of
the fright he had, and his experience in
the char acter of "The Ghost" and so
that other robbers may have no induce
ment to break In and steal.