Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-11-11
Putting Up Stoves.

In consequence of the arrival of cold
weather once more, about these days there
is universal putting up Of stoves prepare
tory for the winter campaign. and, un-
doubtedly, great deal of proial.Cy is in
experience in the work of putting up
stoves, says the first step to be taken is to
put on very old and ragged coat, under
the impression that when he gets his
mouth full of plaster it will keep his shirt
bosom clean. Next he gets his hands in
side the place where the pipe ought to go,
and blacks his fingers, and then he care
fully makes a black mark down one side
of his nose. 1t is impossible to make any
headway in doing this work, until his
mark is made down the side of the nose
Having got his face properly marked the
victim is ready to begin the ceremony
The head of the family-who is the big
goose Of the sacritice--grasps one side of
the bottom of the stove, and his wife and
the hired girl take hold Of the other
side. In this way the load is started from
the woodshed toward the parlor Going
through the door the head of the family
will carefully swing his side of the stove
around and jam his thumb nail against the
door post This part of the ceremony is
never omitted. Having got the stove COM
fortably in place, the next thing is to find
the legs Two Of these are left inside the
stove since the spring before. The other
two must be hunted after tor twenty-five
minutes They are usually found under
the coal. Then the head Of the family
holds up one side of the stove while his
wife puts two of the legs in place, and
next he holds up the other side while the
other two are fixed, and one Of the first
two falls out. By the time the stove is on
its legs he gets reckless, and takes off his
old coat regardless Of his linen. Then he
goes off for the pipe and gets a cinder in
his eye 1t don't make any difference how
well the pipe was put up last year, it viii
be found little too short or little too
long. The head of the family jams his
hat over his eyes and taking pipe under
each arm goes to the tin shop to have it
fixed When he gets back he steps upon
one of the best parlor chairs to see il the
pipe fits and his wife makes him get down
for fear he will scratch the va nish off from
the chair with the nails in his boot heel In
getting down he will surely step on the cat,
and may thank his stars if not the baby.
Then he gets an old chair and climbs up to
the chimney again, to find that in cutting
the pipe off the end has been left too big for
the hole III the chimney. So he goes to
the wood shed and splits one side of the
end Of the pipe with an old AK, and
squeezes it in his hands to make it smaller.
Finally he gets the pipe in shape and
finds that the stove does not stand true.
Then himself and wife and the hired girl
move the stove to the left, and the legs
tall ont again. Next it is to move to the
right. More difficulty with the legs.
Moved to the front a little. Elbow not
even with the hole in the chimney, and
he goes to the woodshed after some little
blocks. While putting the blocks under
the legs the pipe comes out of the chin
ney. That remedied, the elbow keeps
tipping over to the great alarm of the
wife. Head of the iamily gets the dinner
table out puts the old chair on it, gets his
wife TO hold the chair, and balances him,
self on it to drive some nails into the cell.
ing. Drops the hammer on his wife's
head. At last he gets the nails driven,
makes wire swing to hold the pipe, ham
mers a little here pulls a little there, takes
a long breath, and announces the cere.
mony completed
Job never put upany stoves. ltwould
have ruined his reputation if he had
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