davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
How 10 be Happy.


 Everybody wants to know how to be happy. Happiness is the great aim ot us all. There are many things that tend to make us happy, but most of all a well-regulated home. It is not in the power ot the husband, the wife or the child alone to regulate home as it should be-. The efforts and co-opera- ton of all are needed. But most de- bends upon the wife. Her time. labors and interests are at home. If she does her part well home will have many inmates happy.
 lst Order. A home should be order ly. It should have an order of time, place and conduct. In this order of time, a regular hour should be obsery- ed for rising, retiring, eating; for eve " part Of the household work, wash ling, ironing, mending ; house. e-cleaning, sweeping, dusling, chamber-work, &c. In this order. there should always be time for reading, recreation and re- 1 ligious exercises, for general affection ate communion.
 In order of place there should be a place for everything and everything in its place. This makes house look well, convenient, agreeable and easy managed. It prevents confusion, pre- serves articles from unnecessary des- l ltrurtion, keeps them ready for use and where they can be found, saves much home-Iikc characteristic which is al- ways agreeable.
 In order of conduct, there should be courtesy. true c-politcness. an agreeable way of doing and saying everything. Men should be moral, women should be womanly, children taught civilitv. obedience. and general good behavior. Each ono should be respected in his or her duties, and as- sisted so far as may be. Kind words are the only ones that become home. Obliging manners are the only ones that adorn home. Good deeds arc the only ones that bless home. A woman may fret and scold anywhere else. rather than at home. A man may complain. play the tyrant. be careless, disobliging, hateful and profane. any waere else better than home. What sl. II duet should be strictly observed. A house thus in order, a home thus man. aged, will help more to make its in mates happy, than the gayest apparel, the greatest wealth. the finest display that mortals can make.-Rural World.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
Josh Billings Lexicon.

Law--A sword in its scabbard
 Flattery-llolding man by the but ton-hole with one hand and pinning a placard to his coat tail with the other. Promises-Eegs with thin shell on purpiss tew bust
 Conscience-Heaven's right ov way through the soul ov man.
 lnnocence-The pet lamb that strayed away oph, years ago, from the rest ov the flcck, haint bin herd ov since
 Philosophy--The religion of the brains. Pedigree-Thar iz jist as much virtue in a pedigree az thar iz in handin down from father to son ten thousand dollars in Continental money | Death-A square deal
 Boarding houses Asylumns for sour bread, vagrant hash and homeless cock reaches | Money-The root ov all evil to those who spend their lives roofing for it.
 Toper--A poor unfortunate devil with only one throat.
 Superauity-A kat with six tails to watch.
 Resolution--The gang plank ofsuccess Despair The anchor of phools.
 Lies-The devils ointment, with which he greases the snakes belly.
 Locality '.emorys pincussion.
 Chastity-A chrystal pallass with a Queen in it.
 Nose The snubbing post ov the boddy. iniants-Angels' visits not alwaz few nor far between.
 Dispepsy Nightmare in the stumuck Beauty-A blank cartridge
 Oaths-Sins in italiks.
 Old maids--Embers from which the sparks have fled.
 Equivocatlon-Dancing on tite rope between two lines in the presence oftruth. Error-1'he crook in a pigs tail, hard tew get out
 Honor "A sight draft on integrity. l.egacya-A charity dated ahead.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
From the bridgeport Fa,mer.1 Tke History of the uabeas
 COrDus.

About $50 years ago, on an island
 meadow in the river Thames, still I known as Runnymedc, on the 18th of
 August, the iron clad friends of freedom
 in England met King John, and wres-
 ted from him the same rights that have
 been trampled upon by Abraham Lin-
 coin and the Radical party for the last
 seven years. That day was the birth
 day of the Magma Charta. the great charter of English liberty. It contain- cd these words: s'No man shal! be arr rested, imprisoned, or deprived of his own free houshold, or of his liberties, or of his own free customs oroutlawcd and banished, or injured in any man. ner; nor will we pass sentence upon him, nor send trial upon him, unless by the legal judgment ofhis peers, or by the law of the land." This is the great germ of our civil liberty. It was defended in England bv many bloody wars, and has been ratified by many acts of Parliament and at the present day no King or Parliment of England would dare, in any way, to restrict the privilege of the habeas corpus. It was engraited as fundamental principle ill our Constitution; and> our fore- fathers believed it to be sure guar antee for the rights of future genera tious.
 About six years before the Federal Constitution was adopted, rcmarka- ble prophecy was uttered under the following circumstances In 1790, Henry Laurens. former President of the Continental Congress. was sent as Minister to Holland. On his way he was captured and imprisoned in the Tower of London for fourteen moaths. When Lord Shelburne became Premier, Laurens was brought upon labeas cor pus and released. After his release he dined with Lord Shelburne when the conversation turned on the separation oi the two countries. Lord Shelburne remarked: Il am sorry for your peo- ple.' Why so? asked Laurens. They will lose the habeas corpus" was the reply. 'Lose the habeas cor pus," said Laurens, in astonishnncnt "Yes,f said Lord shelburne. We purchased it with centuries Of wrang- ling, many years of fighting. and had il confirmed byeat least fifty acts of II I its value; and it is so ngrained into their creed as the very foundation oi their liberty. that no man or party will ever dare trampie on it. Your people will pick it up and attempt to use it, but having cost them nothing, they will not know how 10 appreciate it. Al the first great internal feud that you have, the majority will trample upon it and the people will permit it to be done and so will go your liberty"
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
Easily Suited.

A printer out of work adverlises for a situation. His advertisement is fine illustration of what sort of a person the universal American printer is. IL says: "Wants situation, a practical printer, who is competent to take charge of any department in a printing and publishing house. Would accept professorship in any of the acade- mics. Has no objection to teach orna- mental painting and pcnmanship, ge- ometry, trigonomctry and many other sciences. Is particularly suited to act as pastor to a small evangelical church. or as local preacher. He would have no objection 10 form small but select class of young ladies, to instruct them in the highest branches. To dentist or chiropodist he would be invaluable, as he can do almost anything. Would cheerfully accept a position as bass or tenor singer in choir"
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
STANTON AND GRANT. Curious Chapter from the Secret
 History Of the War.

Correspondence of the N. Y. Times.
 WASHINGTON. Jan. 19, lS69-A most singular, pregnant and hitherto entire ly unhcard of fact in the career of Gen. Grant has lately become known to a few among the inner military circle here. IL is, under existing circumstan- ces, hardly possible that this should re- main very long a secret and l feel free to outline it, in the expectation that this publication will call forth the full documentary history of so valua- ble passage in the life of ope who now occupies the largest share of the attention of the American people. In order rightly to appreciate the circumstances under which the event am about to narrate took place, it will be necessary to briefly glance at some earlier passages in the military career of the General-in-c chief, and to bring this review up to midsummer of the year 1863, when he lay encompassing in fatal coils the Confederate army be- leaguered within its bulwarks at 1 Vicksburg.
 1 Grant made his debut at Belmont Now, though that affair has been am ply justified by the fuller Information and calmer criticism that have been tho growth of the intervening years, yet il must not be forgotten that at the time | s& ,I. In. too o In m Of obloquy--press and public equall, insisting in calling it Balls Bluff blunder and disaster.
 With the spring of 1862 came Doncl son. Here, again. it bchooves us {, put out of sight the glamour of tha track of splendor which Grants late triumphs cast back upon his earlier ac tions, and endeavor to realize the thel estimate of his character and capacity For, admirable as was the victory a Donelson, and spontaneous as was tn burst of gratitude and joy that leapc' from the national heart, the victor o that field. nevertheless, fell under tn
  press, and-what to him was of grave sequcnce-incurred the severe dis pleasure of his superiors. This stat of facts is sufficiently evidenced by tn following dispatch, sent by Gen. Hal leck, then commander of the Depart ment of the West, to Mir. Stanton, thei Secretary of War, few days afte Donelson:
 'sI have had no communication witt Gen. Grant for more than week. H' left his command without my authori ty. and went to Nashville. His arm, seems to be as much demoralized b, the victory of Fort Donelson as wa that of the Potomac by the defeat o Bull Run. 1 can get no returns, nc reports, no information of any kin, from him. Satisfied of his victory, h, sits down and enjoys it, without an, regard to the future. l am worn ou and tired by this neglect and inefiicien ey. c. r. Smith is almost the only of ticer equal to the emergency
 The day following the date of thi dispatch. Hallack (having, probably meantime received authority iron Washington telegraphed to Grant You will place Maj. Gen. c. F. Smitl in command of the expedition, and re main yourselfat at Fort Henry"
 !. The expedition 10 which reference i made in tho latter dispatch was tn
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
Fanny Fern on the Fashion.

Oh, the relief it is to meet a lady in. stead of a ballet girl oh, the relief it is to see healthy, 6rm-stepping rosy, broad-chested, bright eyed woman clad simply with dress all of one color, and free from punches and tags I turn to look at such a one with true respect, that she has the good sense and courage and good taste to appear on the street with a dress befttine the street; leaving to those poor wretched women whose business it is to advertise their persuns free field without competition. If I seem to speak harshly, it is because feel earnestly on the subject. I had hoped that the women of 1868 would have been worthy of the day in which they live. I had hoped that all their time would not be spent in keeping up with the chameleon changes or fashions too ugly, too absurd for tolera- tion. It is because I want them to be something, to do something higher and nobler than a peacock might aim at, that Turn heart-sick away from these infnitesi- nal fripperies that narrow the soul and purse, and leave nothing in wake but emptiness. Nor is it necessary, in avoid- ing all this, that woman should look "strong-minded, as the bug bear phrase goes It is not necessary she shonld dress like her grand mother, in order to look like decent woman, It is necessary she should forswear ornamentation, because 1t was better and more respectable to have it confined to festal and home occasions and less to the public promenade She is not driven to the alternative of mufHing herself like an omnibus driver in January, or catching consumption with her throat protected only by gold locket!
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
Prope, Depth for pioughing.

All crops grown on land of the same quality do not require an equal depth ofplowing. If sod ground be turned for corn, it should only be ploughed deep enough to get warm, mellow seed bed. The subsoil blowing may be re- sorted to with profit, for that pulver- izes the subsoil deep, admitting air and moisture, but does not bring it to the top, or mix it with the surface mold Ifspring grain is to follow the corn the next ploughing should be deeper than the first one, deep enough to bring to the surface the decayed sod and an inch of the subsoil to mix with it.. These make fresh fertile seed bed for for the spring grain. If wheatsucceeds the spring grain, the ploughing for it should be deep and thorough. No matter how deep. That is the oppor- tunity to mingle the subsoil and the top soil, and pernanetly deepen the seed bed. The latter part of summer and early autumn is the time of the year when the land is most benefited by deep plonghing, and, of all grain crops, wheat demands the deep- est preparation of the ,oil. And this deep poughing for wheat brings soil to the surface that is fresh for the crop to start in. The grass seed will be sown in this; it will become turf, grow dark in color, and when the field is ready to break up again, this top soil will have become rich mold. This is the proper method of ploughing, with the object-of gradually deepening our soil, by exposing it to the action of the air, light, plants and manures. -Ploughman.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
What Came of Borrowing, Gen.
 tlenem mlurkeyk.

In former days there dwelt in the brave corncrackcr State, in close prox- imity to each other. q young, buxom and wealthy widow and bachelor of scarcely more than her own age. Both had inherited the property, and were comparatively strangers to each other. But their plantations joined, and many were the acts of neighborly kindness that passed between them. We'll, as somebody sang to the witch widow Machree, the time arrived when the "birds go in pairs" and the widow found that although she had plenty of ! Hen Turkeys, she had none of the oth- erpersuasion. they having mysterious ly disappeared. But as she knew that her neighbor had plenty of rare breed, and so sent Sambo over to bor- row couple. In due time he came back with a large gobbler under each arm, and a broad grin on his face. 1 .Welly' asked his mistress.
 'Massa said. was the answer, 'dat he send dem turkeys. and dat ii dey didn't answer, he'd jest come over and gobble his ownself.'
 Go back and tell him to come, com manded the widow with cheeks like peonies.
 The negro did as he was command ed--the horses of the bachelor were hitched that night until n late hour at the post in front of the widows door and there was wedding within three months.-Ex.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
From tue Newark, (N. J., (Press.] S@ How a ssWtcked Fraud, was Put Upon Mark Twain in Newark

| lNCvv uA t.t.
 1tis seldom pleasant to tell on onc's self but sometimes 1t is sort of relief 1 to man 10 make sad confession. I wish to unburden my mind now, and yet almost believe that I am moved to do it more because long to bring censurc upon another man than be cause ] desire to pour balm upon my woun- I ded heart. l don't know what ba Inn is. | but believe it is the correct express sion to use in this onnection-rever having seen any balm.) You may re- member that 1 lectured in Newark lately for the yourg gentlemen of the Claytonian Society? did at any rate. During the afternoon of that day was talking with one of the young gentlemen just referred to, and he said he had an uncle who, some cause or other seemed to have grown perma- nently bereft of all emotion. And with tears in his eyes this young man said:
 "Oh, if could only see him laugh once more! Oh, ifI could only see him weep."
 was touched. I could never with stand distress. I said.
 Bring him to my lecture. I'll start him for you"
 "Oh, if could but do it! If you could but do it, all our family would bless you forevermore-tor he is very dear to us. Oh, my benelactor. can you make him laugh? can you bring soothing tears to those parched orbs. '
 was profoundly moved. I said:
 ''My son, bring the old party around. l have got some jokes in that lecture that will make him laughm-and if they miss fire have got some others that'll make him cry orkiil him, one or the other"
 Then the young man blessed me, and wept of my neck, and blew his nose on my coat tail, and went after his uncle. He placed him in full view, in the sec ond TOW of benches that night, and began on him tried him with mild jokes then with severe ones; dosed him with bad jokes and riddled him with good ones; fired old stale old jokes into him. and peppered him fore and aft with redhot new ones I warm ed up to my work. and assaulted him on the right and left. in front and be- hind; tunleC auu rwv,..,a, ,4-.l ch.r- gcd and routed. till 1 was hoarse and sick. and frantic and furiors but never moved him once-I never started a smile. or a tear! Never ghost of a smile. and never a suspicion of mois- ture! l was astonished l closed the lecture at last with one despairing shrick-with one wild burst of humor --and hurled a joke of supernatural atrocity full at him. It never phased him. Then sat down bewildered and exhausted.
 The President of the society came up and bathcd my head with cold water and said:
 "Wha. made you carry on so toward the last P
 said: II was trying to make that confounded old fool laugh in the sec ond row.
 And he said: Well, you were vast ing your time-because he is deaf and dumb, and as blind as badger"
 Now was that any way for that old mans nephew to impose on stranger and an orphan like me? simply ask you, as man and brother, if that was any way for him to do?
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
3.
OUR CHILDHOOD.
BY GEO. D. PRENTICE.

'Tis sad. yet sweet. to listen
 To the soft winds gentle swell, And think we hear the music
 Our childhood knew so we'll; To gaze out on the even,
 And the boundless field of air, And feel again our boyhood's wish
 To roam like angels there. There are many dreams of gladness
 That cling around the rast-- And from the tomb of feeling
 Old thoughts come thronging fast; The forms we love 50 dearly
 In the happy days now gone, The beautiful and lovely,
 So fair to look upon. Those bright and gentle maidens
 Who seemed so formed for bliss, Too glorious and too heavenly
 For such word as this; Whose dark soft eyes seemed swimming In sea of liquid light, And whose locks of gold were streaming Der brows so sunny bright Whose smiles were like the sunshine In the spring time of the year Like the changeful gleams of April, They follow every tear! They have passed--like hopes-away, And their loveliness has fed; Oh, many heart is mourning That they are with the dead. Like the brightest buds of summer, They have fallen with the stem; Yet. oh, it is lovely death
 To fade from earth like them And yet the thought is saddening To muse on such as they, And feel that all ti,e beautiful Are passing fast away! That the fair ones whom we love Grow to each loving breast Like the tendril of the chnging vine, Then perish where they rest. And we can but think of these, lnthe soft and gentle spring, When tho trees are waving OCT us, And the flowers are blossoming; And we. know that winters coming With it's cold and stormy sky, And ina ulorione haou,v rannd ua Is budding but to diei
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
"EIe Done His Leve, Best,

Mark Twain puts forth the following touching epistle, which he claims to have received from friend in California: Mr. 4Hark: Icain
 DEAR SIR: The wirhfn man, which I've sot to poetry under the name and stile of 'sHe Done His Level Best, was amung the whites men you ever did see, judge, and 'taint every man which knowed him as can find it in his hart to say he's glad the pore cuss is bursted and gone home to the states He cum here in a yearly day, and was amung the han dies men at taking hold of any thing cum along you most ever see
 Preachin' were his nateral gate, but he want man to la back and twiddle his thumbs because there didn't hapen to be any thing goin' on in his oun speshal line. No, sirree He'd wander fourth, and stir up sumthin' to sute hisself His last acks wos to go his pile on kings, and calkerlaten to fill but he faled to fill, when there was a flush aganest him. So naturally, you see, he went under. So bcin', as you may say, cleened out, he struck the home trail--cheerful, but fiat broke. I knowed this talented man in Arkansaw, and if you will presenle this here tumble tribute to his abilateas you would greatly oblige his onhapy friend.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09

Sumner wrote: 'sI have no relations with the present administration, and therefore know nothing of the prin- ciples which govern appointments made under it. Where the capabiity of the applicant is equal, the policy of prefcring the one who has served in the army has been sanctioned by the country, and sec no reason for be- lieving that soldiers will not receive a proper recognition under the next administration. Himself soldier the President elect will naturally be able to appreciate their claim and re- ward the dsssrving.'
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
B. F. Johnson. D |, U GG s T
 DIES ARC, ARKANSAS.

TZ EEP on hand large assortment of Drugs, IN Medicines, Paints, Oils, Perfumery, Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies. whiskey, for medical purposes, which he will sell low Prescriptions and orders filled promptly Terms cash. feb. l6 lSos
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09

---ln the Florida Legislature, Lieut., Gov Gleason, on vacating the chair, on the 9th called on colored member to fill it, and then sent in his resignation as President of the Senate.
 "A monument to Robinson Crusoe is to be erected on the island made famous by him.
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
T. M. GIBSON. Attorney at Law AND C. s. CLAIM AGENT, DEvALL's BLUFE, ARK.

A RKANsAS having h 'en added to the ju- "A risliction of the Court of Claims at Washington. the undersigned hereby gives notice that he is prepared to receive and col lect all claims held by loyal persons for Stock. Forage. Supplies and Property of any and all kinds taken by Federal officers or soldiers for the use of the government. Come and see me. Fees moderate. No charge for advice.
 sepS-Gm
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09

A story is told of a young lady teacher in one of our Sabbath Schools who recently asked q youngster what matrimony was. He mistook the ques- ton for pu 'gatory. and answered: "A place or state ofpunishment in this life, where some souls sntier for time be- fore they go to heaven"
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
Luek ana Labor.

Two boys left, last week, their coun- try homes to seek their fortunes in the city.
 I shall see what luck will do for me- said one.
 I shall see what labor can do for me- cried the other.
 Which is the best to depend upon, luck or labor? Let us see.
 Luck is always waiting for some- thing to turn up.
 Labor WILL turn up something. Luck lies abed wishing.
 Labor jumps up at six o'clock, and with busy pen or ringing hammer lays the foundation of a competence. Luck whines; labor whistles. Luck relies on chances, labor on character.
 Luck slides down to indoleiSce. Labor strides upwards to indepen- dence.
 Which is likely to do most for you, boys?
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09

A man out west, who offered bail for a friend. was asked by judge if he had an encumbrance on his farm. "Oh, yss, "ssid he" my old woman"
Des Arc weekly citizen., 1869-02-09
SIMON WHEELER.

Was he mining on the fit,
 He done it with xest; Was he leading of the choir, He done his level best. Was he preaching on his beat, He'd tramp from east to west, And north and south in cold and heat, He done his level best. He'd yank a sinner out, And land him with the blest; Then snatch n prayer, n walk in again, And do his level best. He'd drink and dance and shout and pray, And howl and shout and jest, And lie and steal--all one to him He done his level best. Whate'r this man was sot to do, He done it with a scst; No matter what his contract was, He done his level best.