The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1869-03-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

When is blow from lady welcome
When she strikes you agreeably.
What is the difference between barber
and mother? One has razors to shave,
and the other has shayers to raise,
4 school committeeman writes: eve
have a school house large enough to &C
cemmodate four hundred pupils four stories
high"
Leave you. my friend - said tipsey
fellow chagng to amp post. one dark
night leave you in a condition not to
take care Of yourself tLic) never"
'You ought to lay up something for a
rainy day" said an anxious father to his
profigate son. And 50 have replied
the young hopeful. ''What?" asked the
father. IAN UMBRELLA was the imperti-
nent reply.
Some Iowa girls lately projected sleigh
ride, to which they invited two young men,
fol- the purpose Of taking charge of the
team. 4 few miles before the destination
was reached the young men jumped out to
walk. The girls whipped up and COMPEL
ed the young fellows TO walk the rest of
the distance. The latter on their arrival
ing the ladies to mediate on the hckleness
A newly-arrived boarder at fashionable
boarding house thought he had not suffi-
cient bolstering for his head, and accord
lngly carried the pillow down to the land
lady room, who inquired what he desired
The gentleman wanted to know what the
articles were he held in his hands. "Pi-
lows, you impudent fellow - screamed the
enraged woman. ooh, [ thought they
Were pin. cusAionsl Y replied the disconso>
late bOarder
Many years ago q Boston lawyer got lost
while travelling IN the woods, on Cane Cod.
Coming to a house, he rode up to the door
aud accostcd the lady Of the house as fol-
lows: Madame, if you viii tell me who
! was, who | am, where | am, and where
| am going, [ viii give you q dollar. p"
She eyed him a moment, and then said
You were Kent the minister. you are now
Kent the lawyer; you are in Falmouth
woods, aud you are going to the Devil"
He handed her the dcI'ar and rode on
The lady happened to know him.
A young lady Of Rochester is suspected
of insanity-she having been observed to
rise in a street car and give her seat to an
elderly and iaGrm old gentleman.
Miss Mary Louise Warner. aged four
teen, is the most popular barber Tor bar
beress?J IN Lansing, Mich. She runs her
own shop.
The late Chas. T. MeIms, of Milwaukee,
emptied S48. 900 worth Of his beer into the
river last year, because it was not up to the
standard.
A London, n. IT, man wears coat
made Of cloth which his Grandmother spun
and woVe when she WIS sixteen years old
and which his mother, now ninety years
old, frst ore as civak when she was six
teen.
Since tie outbreak OF the war the chan
ges in the membership Of Congress have
been remarkable. Only twelve persons
who were in the House during the memor>
able session Of TIE winter of 1850 81 will
be contained on the rolls of the new House
The rock in which Hiram Smith, Of
Chester, Vt, an eccentric and wealthy
bachelor is having bis tomb hewn, is a
boulder Of gray granite, which will aver
age Is feet IN diameter, and rests its soils
tary bulk On a high ledge on his farm.
The tomb is TO be completed with a solid
rock door, and viii be mauSoleum to sat
isfy any ambition.
In wine case in New York few DAYS
siuce, twenty bottles were used up by The
judge and other members Of the court IN
testing lis quality. 1T tastes Ike milk
punch, " said Ar, Pickwick.
\ man il Buffalo Co., Wis, recently
had his leg broken 10 a singular manner.
He was standing behind a heavily loaded
team, when the WhiAree broke and flew
back stiking bis leg with such force as to
break il.
The Polk County, Wis, Press says
"A German living in the Vicinity Of Farm
ington, IN this county. while passing thro'
a piece of tim6era few days ago. was sud-
denly attacked By a large Buck" and be-
ing without a gun was in danger Of being
tramped 10 death by the fierce animal
when fortunately another person, hearing
the disturbance, came to bis assistance in
time to prevent 50 disastrous a result The
individual is still suffering from the effects
OF the encounter.
A dispatch from Trieste. Austria, reports
a terrible disaster on the irigate Radetskv
while cruising in the Adriatic on the Goth
An eIplosion1ook place in The powder
magazine, making complete wreck of the
ship, aud causing great loss of life Most
Of tie officers and crew We're instantly kill
ed or blown into the water and drowned
A Cleveland gentleman, while crossing
the Atlantic, sealed a bottle and consigned
it to the waves; the bottle contained the
history Of some dasrardly thief who had
stolen the whiskey and drank it, and re-
quest to the finder of the bottle to send the
same 10 bis address at Cleveland. What
was his surprise the other day, after six
months had passed, to receive from Brigh.
ton, England, the identical waf, which had
been washed ashore, covered with barnacles
A Cleveland wife tried to cause her hus>
band to abandon smoking by inducing his
cigar manufacturer to wrap a Chinese fire.
cracker in Que Of the weeds" On Mon
day the unsuspec,ing husband was smck-
ing the cigar with great satisfaction, until
the fire communicated with the fuse, when
to his great horror, the explosion came
and lie was surprised that his head was
left upon bis shoulders Fortunately his
eyes were not blown out He thinks seri>
ouSy Of transferring his patronage to an
other establishment.