The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1869-11-17
A Tennessee Squire

a certain village in the good State OF
Tennessee, an eccentric old fellow, who
rejoiced in the name of Peter IZard,
and for eleven years filled the office
known in various parts of the Union
as Magistrate, Alderman or Justice of
the Peace. Whether so restricted by
law, or whether it was owing to the
little business done and credit given
in his neighborhood we know not, but
it is a fixed fact that there never was a
case before him of greater value than
ten dollars, and that case is now pre-
scented to the public. 'e
| During the long term Of his official
career, Squire lizard was equally cele-
brated for his inflexible integrity and
his singular manners; yet strange to
say, he held Office by the tickle popu-
lar will, for itwas an elective one.
But he kept all the liquor, and was the
only man in town who could write. In
halcyon days, newspapers and COM
mon schools were unknown. His hon
esty was also proverbial. Millions
could not have tempted him to have
wronged the bitterest enemy out of a
dime. And on the whole lie was pop
ular, for, so that the decisions were
just and upwright, what mattered the
uncouth phrase which it was coucled
in. The shell was rough and bitter,
but the kernel was sweet. We will
now give an example of Squire karGs
mode Of proceeding. -. $50
A gentleman by the name of McMnr-
ran, of the place, was riding through
c., when the horse cast a shoe.
For replacing it the blacksmith, whose
name was Enos Bildo, charged the
cool sum of an eagle-or rather two
sovereigns. Naturally indignant, our
traveller refused to pay such an exor-
liant demand, and while he was cooling
his bile and his stomach at the. ":Gen-
eral Jackson"-the tavern .(par excel
lcnce) of the tOwn-he was arrested
at the suit of the son of Vulcan. There
being no other resource, Mr.. NJ. was
conducted to the Magistrates Office,
back of the bar.
| 1t should have been mentioned that
Squire lizard not only filled the office
tef Justice but he was Keeper
besides. The sign that swung before
his door displayed on a blue ground a
| figure supposed to resemble human
! oSAHS' "A NCiy NlSc lHCc was ucpiCt-
ed surronndeds By az white halo, and
surmeunted by n. chapeau,, with three
waving plumes. To this was append
ed a blue-coated body, with very dim
inutive legs attired in large jack boots
and intensely yellow paataloons. One
hand flOurislied sword, the other rest
ed on cannon, spontaneously belch-
ing forth very red flame, very blue
smoke, and a ball like black water,
plainly visible. The artist began al
the head, and being cramped for room
ere he had finished, like another Pro
crustes, he accommodated the rest OF
the picture to suit circumstances. This
| work Of art was supposed to bear 8
resemblance to the hero of New Or
leans. The other side bore the Legend
-"Entertainment for man and beast
by p. Izard.". But to proceed.
After being introduced into the aug
ust presence Of the Squire, and tht
charge stated, the following dialogue
occurred >E - 4 asTsa ~ Z.
"Well, sir, what is your name?"
"McMurran, sir"
~"Hump, Mr.. Murran, no other name
sirG"
- "OOuH A1CMuTTaH, Slrs -
,"No, Mr.. Curran-no alias?"
@Of course have not, strive NJ
need for one" =.
"Where do you live, Mr.. eCarrion ?
"My name amt Carbon told 20,
it was McMurran."
"Well, Mr.. Murton, did you maxi
any bargain for shoeing your horse?
'sNo sir.n. e
II =, Then, Mr.. Burton, you acted, sir
!, excuse me-like a fool .suss
~ didn't come here to be insulted
strand no one shall talk SO to mep
81 know you didn't, Mr.. Fulton
4 keep silence or I'll fine you. You act
q ed, sir-dO not contradict me-like
perfect fool; and let this be a warning
. to you never to trust such a scoundre
as EnOs Bildo 1.-THE smith) further tina
h you can swing bull by the tail. Yo
8 sir, Ito the Plaintiff) / mean you, yo
skunk. You'd steal the coppers O
. your mothers eyes, you no-sO,Iled hos
The sentence of the court is, EnOs Bi
e do, shall have two dimes for You
G work, which is all it's WORTH and,
a you say another word, III knock yo
down. Clare the Court"
g Fully satisfied with the verdict, an
!. highly amused with his adventur,
Mac went on his way rejoicing.
4 | 49, - -ef Z