The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-09-25
WIT AND wIxDOw

/ AoHACh uA-ELEY says that tha a.-L.
uay 70 mans earthly career, in that whsrs;"
ne iahcies that there is some easier ws., -
gaining dollar than by squarely earning !,
NANNY, said PrecOciOus little how ~ho
against his will, was made TO rock ,ha c,.aIo
Of bis baby brother, "If the Lord ~ .n1
EN-" you @6e
| john, screamed q country girl. se.tad
by the side Of her dull lover. le,va Tna
alone ]" John, astonished, cried. 0Whv +
amt touching yer I" 'sNo," replied sba
but you might have done-lf you liked"
A PRETTY girl, 10 teasing mood, asked /.
gentleman II ne possessed the picture Of the
one whom he loved; and on his replying in
tne affirmative, she begged he woui s6ow
II to her. he i'm -sdiately took q small mir.
ror and presented it to her.
TIE 1wo RoADs.-"Dar are " aid s.nl.
orator, "two roads through dis world 81
one am broad and narrow road dat leads
to PerditiOn, and De uddsr am . narrow anI
broad road dat leads to euro destruction "
IL dat am de case" said m sable hearnr
dis cullud individual takes to De woods"
A soLDTER who was once wounded in h.t-
Gle, Sst up terrible believing. An Irish
man. who lay near, with both legs shot Of
Immediately sung out, "B I'd luck % the likes
OF yer do yer think that nobody 10 kilt but
Yerseif?"
You have not one drop 0! the great Napo.
Icons blood In your veIns," said testy Old
jerome one day in pet to his nephew. the
emperor. "Well, /" replied Louis Napoleon.
at all events have his whole family On NV
shoulders"
"CoNFUHoN to the man." rs the carmen
ter said, "who first invented working bv
candle-ight." Ay, or daylight either"
said bis apprentice.
"THE candles you sold me last we're vsrv
bad, said Suett to talIow chandler.
Indeed, sir, am sorry for that"
do you know they burnt to the middle.
and would then burn no longcr"
You surprise me; what, sir, do they 70
out 2"
mo, sir, no they burned shorter"
A GENTLEMAN asked q shepherd whether
that river might be passed over or not.
"fes," said be, but upon trying he Aouncsd
over head and ears.
why, you rogue" said be, did you not
tell me Il might be passed over ?"
~ did, sir, and so IL can" retorted the
shepherd, 'fOr my geese goes over Il every
day."
A LAwYER i'm q certain city in this State.
not remarkable for his cleanliness Of person.
appeared at party lately with rose IN IN
button-hole. Where do Won aunnoaa IA
came fromg said be to q brother lawyer.
who was Admiring II. The latter looked IN
aud down the entire length of the question.
er. and with great deIiberation responded,
why, suppose il grew there"
A GENTLEMAN was praising the beautiful
hair Of lady, when one Of those terrible
children whom Providence seems to have
sent on earth as scourges Of hyp0 0crisy ard
falsehood, exclaimed, "My hair would Be as
handsome az mammals, If she'd let me take
As much care Of il as she takes Of hers.
Mamma never sleeps in her hair, but always
puts It away in the wardrobs before she goes
TO bed."
A DISTINCTION BUT no DHREREHcE.-AR Ro-
man ecclesiastic, In reply to whatever ques.
tlon might be proposed, began by saying:
"kmxke distinction" A certain cardiCo1
having invited him to dine, propaaEl
rive some amusement for the compnn7tG-H,
the well-known pecu.iarity OF bis guest.
Saying that he had IN important question to
propose, he asked:
sis it under any circumstances lawful to
baptize in soup2"
~ make distinction" said the priest. IL
you ask il il lawful to baptixs IN your excel
lency's soup? | say, yes Tor there In, in
reality, no difference between il and water"
BsAUnEUL was the reply Of venerable
old man who in answer to the inquiry whe-
ther he was still IN the land Of the living,
said, M, but | am almost there"
FAN FILTRATION. For the benef: OF our
young lady readers who may not be posted
in the mute language OF . fan, We willingly
give the following directions:
Fan fast-I am independent.
Fan s'ow-I am engaged.
Fan with right hand ia front Of fsce-
Come on.
Fan With left hand 10 front Of face
Leave me-
Open and shut-Kiss me.
Open wide-Love.
Open half-Friendship.
Shut-Hate
Swing the fan-Can see you homeH
Fan by right cheek-Yes.
Fan by left cheek-No.
Garry in left hand-D ssIrous Of getting
Garry with handle to liPs-I will firt with
You.
H0Wsekeeper.