Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1869-01-21
PHILOSOPHICAL.
The Man in fbb Nlobi1.
by r. .. MUDLrRK.

by r. .. MupLrpK.
AS there are great many able theories
advanced upon philosophical subjects 10
these days by able men. Il shall be my en-
deavor in IL Is paper to prove beyond con>
troversy that there Is actually a Man In the
Moon. This expression is, perhaps, famil-
lar to the learned portion of our readers
who should have expressed opinions before
on this important subject, but who were
afraid to advance an Idea upon such a stu-
pendous proposition, notwithstanding with
what disgust and inexpressible contempt
scientifically inclined persons generally
regard the theories propagated by other
men upon their investigation Of things, not
materially connected with the objects re.
vealed by former researches, In the labora>
tory Of nature: anterior to the delugc, aft>
er which, 1t Is generally understood that
the arrangement or such things In regular
departments OF artificial representations
invet!ed by--Gracious. That sentence Is
very scientific, but II caused perspiration
to roll from our forehead before we finish
| ed IL.
AS we were going on 10 say, the expres-
sion, the Man in the Moon. has been In use
a thousand years, which OF itself. is suf1-
cient to prove the existence Of such char
acter, II being remarkable fact, and one
well known to philosophers, that where
there is SO much smoke there must be some
fire.
\. B. The student must not suppose we
mean by this that the man in the moon is
a smoker or fireman.
ISr. (This means Inference Hence il
is inferred that there Is genus homo
(man) In the luna (moon).
PRoof. The moon shines with q bor-
rowed light.
Remark. A great many people on the
earth shine with borrowed things; hence i;
is evident that such is the case.
OByEorreS. Everybody objects to such
things.
PRISorrAL. The moon is inlercolumni-
ated with numerous tubetcular protuber-
ances and volcanic indications on the hor
izontally inclined perpendicularity Of II c
western inclination east of the dexter as
cen,ioh.
Rem. Ne think that is bovineial sem
tence.
Pr. This phenomenon can be seen with
the naked or nude optic or fumerized
fragment of transparency.
ISS. We don't infer anything from this
owing to the small advance made IN this
part of the science.
Rem. Same az Inf.
PR1S. The moon is entirely destitute Of
wafer.
Pr. Astronomers have been there TO
see (rot sea-
Rem. Whisky IL the beverage used by
men.
lSr. Hence it il to be inferred that II q
man could get there he would do SO,
Rem. 2d. But can man get theree Ans.
This question properly belongs to aeron>
autics and comes not under the scope Of
tnoonology.
PRrN., Pr, ISr and Rems. Moonbeams
reach the earth, because Milton says so.-
These beams are sawed by hand, because
If there is no water there, there can be no
steam-mills.
PRrx. There are on this earth a great
many lunatics (mooniicks
Pr. See editorials OF New York Her
aid and Tribune.
Rem. =, Some able writer, perhaps J. Bill
lings, D. D., says that ticks were made TO
torment men.
ISF. II is apparent that II there are any
ticks on the moon there must be men there
for them TO torment.
OBJ As there Is no direct communica-
tion between us and the moon. 1t Is diff
cult 10 imagine how ticks ofthe luna kind
ever reached the earth.
Rem. They are here.
Coxo1rsioS. We think we have proved
beyond a reasonable doubt that there is a
man In the moon; although what we have
said may appear very foolish to some. We
have onS consolation. however, and tha
is that ours is not the only work on philos>
ophy that appears the same WAY.
We deem II prudent TO give In this con-
nection, few testimonials from eminent
men, as to the merits OF our great undertas
kin
Extract from a letter Urittcn 6y
Prof Lun1is, the distinguished ontaor
oj"Noon-eyed Nan"
81 have read Prof Mudlurk's work on
the Moon, and must confess that was
struck (moonstruck) with the ability with
which he handles his subject"
From L. Una, d. D., f. r. s II.
d., A. s. S.
Prof. Mudlurk treats his subject with .
great deal Of shrewdness In perusing 1t I
became 80 welded 10 the subject that l
imagined myself in hoDeysmoon all the
time
Many more OF the same kind.
"Three Quarters" Of q million cold OF
Of the first edition.
We should have written ''Ths Fad" be- |
fore, but failing to do so, We shall now
write instead