davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

A LADYIN THE WRONG BArH.-A new.
ly married couple recently arrived in New
Orleans. Jsdsd and tired. they would each
have . bath before retiring. They found
the baths in their hotel so situated that
lady and gentleman especially when the
lady is the gentleman's wile) can take their
bsths in adjoining apartments. But un.
fortunately Tor tho happiness Of our couple,
baths 1t the same time were ordered to be
prepared for other guests who had Just ar.
rived, and by the most natural mistake in
the world, our bride got into the wrong
bath
II Was in that moment o. supreme en-
joyment when the warm. genial water was
coqueiting with the beautiful form W hen
like the maiden on the bank OF the Ganges I:
the bride was admirring the loneliness the
water reflected. that the door was pushed
gently open and a tail, bearded masculine
catered.
Vi course the lady screamsd-indsed did
she. Such a succession of shrieks have
rarely echoed through the building, num-
berless as may have been its experiences in
screams.
"Oh, hush; for Gods sake be quiet !;
you'll alarm the city !"
"Oh, you dreadful man ~ and the shrieks
wsxed more loud and piercing and the
angry little hands beat the water around
her into 4 foaming cascade, like miniature
Niagara.
: by this time the whole house was alarm.
ed, and the pstter Of running feet was heard
through all the corridors. The man couldn't
60 out because he was not dressed he
couldn't remain, because it was immodest
The husband by this time was laundering
at the door. and inquiring in accents far
from calm. what the ID was the matter
Help me help me-" screamed the
bride, "a
The Mortified husband heard in reply:
"Wsit till l get my clothes on, and I'll
60"
lie could endure n, more, but bursting
open the door, rushed like deamon into
the room, crying frantically for Mary,
Mary my good, what's the matter ?" But,
at the same time his eye lighted on the
stranger, tugsing madly in eifectual efforts
TO resume his apparel On him he seized
and with his fist raised, demanded the
meaning Of this intrusion
1t. vas Afforded in trembling voice,
which disclosed his sense of the peril.
1.-The lady had got into The wrong bath:
he was not aware Of her presence until be
undressed ; he meant no oifense. For m.r.
cy's sake let him ont ~
The explanation proving satisfactory the
unfortunate stranger Acd and the bride was
left to the consolation of her iord.-4New
Orlsans Picayune.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

- The impression somewhat preva
lent that soft corn is better for fattening
stock than the matured portion has nothing
In nature to support it.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

Clocks and diffident girls reese mble
each other in keeping their hands before
their faces.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23
The Fox AND THE FROG. fox o,

TIE Fox AND THE FRoo.--A fox once
came to pool to drink. A frog was sit.
ting there on stone. aud kept croaking.
Stop your noise and 60 out Of that said
the fox, "or III swallow you down alive"
Don't be 80 proud, said the frog. "for
am feeter Of foot than ever you were
The fox laughed hut as the frog held on
Boosting, he said "Well, let us decide the
matter. We shall run to the town, and
see who will be inside the gate first
The fox started off. but before he had
gone Z step the frog jumped on his crupper,
When he came near the gate. he turned
round to see if the frog was coming. While
he did so the frog jumped down and stood
in the gate. When the fox turned round
TO 90 into the town he spied the frog
How did you come there p said he
"On my legs. to be sure said the frog
II have been inside ever so long, and wa,
Just on the point Of going home again. fol
thought you wouldn't come at all"
The fox wasn't proud Of his speed afte
that day.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

'.s.t. ~ Amstsar Baloonist says the da.
SttAt isN"not much worse than being
shsnA Asss sfI1essg trap BY . runaway
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

800 Color is . good thing but when it
y confined sxclasively to the nose it 10
Dsishw complimentary nor ornamental.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

PoLIrE.-Thsre was . man SO extreme.
lypclits that. a. he passed hen on her
nest. he said, Don't rise. madam"
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

TAKE II EASY" Don't be in such q
hurry" sand reckless murderer. on his
way 70 the gallows, to the Fastening crowd;
take the thing easy, as l do, if you want
80 enjoy it,"
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

- What time BY the clock is the best
fora pun! Ajoks takes best just when i,
strikes one.
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

WATCHING ONES SELF" When l wal
boy" said an old msn. !" we had a school.
master who had an odd way of catching
idle boys. One day be called out to us
Boys. l must have closer attention to
your books. The first one ofyou that sees
boy idle. want you to inform me, and
l will attend to the case"
All. thought l, there is Joe Simmons
that don't like. I'll watch him, and il
l see him look Off his book | will tell. II
was not long before | saw Joe look off his
book and Immediately informed the mas
ter.
Indeed" said he. show did you know
he was idle 2"
"Isaw him." said 1.
"You did and were your eyes on your
book when you saw him ?"
Twas caught. and never watched for idle
boys again.
II we are sufficiently watchful over our
own conduct We will have no time to find
fault with the conduct of others
The Van Buren press., 1869-02-23

- Tenement that is not occupied hall
the time--The room for improvement.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

GOOD, BETTER, BEST.-The best
N and cheapest Tobacco and Cigars 1T town
are at M. L. oatman's. GO apd see.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

phorlcally speaking, my second plate of
matrimonial hash has soured on my hands.
On returning to my domicil in Slunkville,
my wife addressed me in the following
chaste language:
skinner, am now boss of this she
bang, and l really hope, for your mothers
sake, that l sha'n't be obliged to use the
mop handle over your head more than
twice day, and once Sundays"
Another eccentIicity of hers is plant
ing her feet in the small of my back after
| have retired for the night, and whirling
me playfully across tho room. The first
overturn of this kind occurred one very
cold morning, when l suggested the pro-
priety of her getting up and building the
fire. If my memory serves me right, and
| think size do, l built the fire myself that
A. NJ, and | have made it point 10 do
so ever since. If there is anything dote
on, it is rising with the lark and building
the fire.
IN B.-This last is intended for CO.
vert irCny.)
IN. B., No. 2 2-The proprietor Of one
of our leading art galleries says, "a splen-
did executed chrOmo>tintype of Mr. Nose
Skinner, is at present the theme of con-
versation among artists and literary men.
1t is indeed a miracle of art. The we'll
known modesty of Mr.. S has alone pre-
vented him from taking his proper place
in the Nine MUSES., as we understand
he had very tempting offer to that effect.
They are selling at 81 each, or $I2 per
dozen, and at this low price the artist is
unable 10 meet the demand.'0
Comment is unnecessary.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
4 LITTLE MAN,

Perhaps The most remarkabls dwarf
known in ancient or modern tialea was
Thomas Joseph Bunrlawski, born in Pol
ish Russia in 1879 His parents were
of the medium size and had family O.
six children. five sons and one daughter.
Three Of the former when full grown,
exceeded the middle stature but tie
other two and the daughter attained that
of children about the age of four years
At the time of Joseph's birth, he meas
ured only eight inches in length, bu. lac
was neither weak nor defective, and his
mother, who sucked him frequently stated
that none of her children gave her less
trouble than he. His sister, Anastasia,
seven years younger, is represented b7
him in his Memoirs as so short she coCi
stand under his arms. She was a perfect
model of symmetry, beauty, having Q
lively and cheerful temper, and feelias
and beneficcnt heart. At the age of II.
teen, being then % inches high, he was
then presented to Empress Maria The esa.
who on one occasion took him on her la.
caressed him, and asked him what hs
thought was most curious and interestlur
at Vienna. lie answered that lie had
seen in that city many things worthy Of
admiration, but nothing seemed 50 exl-a~
ordinary as that which he then beIe't5.
"And what is that p inquired her bEsi
esty. ''To see So little man on the l.g1
Of SO great woman replied Bourlaw
ski. The Empress then wore ring on
which was her cipher in brilliant Isis
hand being in hers. and he locking a.-
tentively at this jewel, she asked an
whether the cipher was pretty. II ocg
your Majesty's pardon, replied Bous!ag-
ski, sit is not the ring l am locking at,
but the hand which bsseech your per-
| mission to kiss - at the same tio7e cai5-
ing it to his lips. The fatiered Eiuercss
fhereupon took very fine diamond riae.
from the finger of Marie Antoine.ie ltisa
a child, and put il on Bourlawski's. TIE
notice of the Empress procured hi7l tbs
attention of the whole court, and the mar <
ed kindness of Count Kauniiz - gbis
time the little mar was about 2S iuc.,es
high, could bear fatigue and lite great
weights in proportion to his size, possesss,5 4
mental energy and Accomplishment ana
a judgment very sound underslo13 e.ith-
metic spoke German and French ,s,.s H.
genious in everything he undertook, iealy
in bis repartees and just in his reason
ings.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
A SENSIBLE GIRL.

Some writers. 10 US unknown tells this
story of her:
Twenty years ago, a. young man who
had paid attenisea 10 a bright, sweet girl
for long time without making anything
that was even "a second cousin to a pro-
posal, was startled one evening by the
question, Robert do you want to marry
me Z" He tried 20 evade the question by.
asking why she pat such a question to
him. 'Because, if you do not want TO
marry me you must SOP coming to sce me-
No mocking birds around the red breasts
nest you know"
Robert took ths hint, and. with 4 cool
good night, walked home What should
he care for girl so rude as that /? God
company as hers elsewhere. He would
join the club next day. He tried to sleep
but could not. lie didn't quite ike the
turn things had taken. The figure pIagu-
ed him, Ii he was mock ing blrd. who
was the red-breast that he was keepino
away from such fitting partner sat
any rate, one thing is certain, Edna ia
smart as she is pretty he said to him
| self, "and she means business"
countingroom. 1t was long day. BUSINESS
had dragged. Everybody was pre-occu-
| pied, hurried, cross. He was glad TO 90
home, only it wasn't home. He took
book, but found himself trying to read the
Goals in the CRATE and the figures on the
wall instead of the page. He threw him
self on the lounge. but 1t was drea5raIlY
dull. He stood it for while. and then
put on hls hat and walked down to the
widow Craigie's.
He stepped up TO the dooc aa usual, but
Edna was engaged. He asked 10 have
her called. 1t seemed n month before
she came. At last she appeared H
rose from his seat and met he. in the niid~
die of the room, and said, ''EGna, have
come here to-night on business. I am
tired of being your moching>Jird, and
want TO be your red-breast; will you be
my wife p ''When do you say 60 ask
ed Edna, her face sufTiused with blushes.
''Soon as l can make nest" replied
Robert
81 believe both red>breasts Join in
building the nest,' said Edna. sand /
want to do nv part" This was twenty
years ago. To-day one Of the ls..nd-
soonest mansions in one of our cities is
the nest of the welded pair, whose life
has been sweet as birds song, and whose
hearts, like their affections, are as younf
as ever. There is IA great deal more in
putting a little straight forward business
at the beginning of life than is usually
| supposed
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
.
DR.. JOHN FRY,
AssIsted bX bits DauRnter.

Having permanently located in Johnstown, is
prepared to answer all professional calls, and in
sert ARTIFICIAL TEETH on genuine Rub
Der (Vulcanite) Base, or, if preferred, he will
insert them on Gold go carsts fne), or Silver
Chemically pure)--both of his own preparing
on Flatina, Aluminium, Palladium, Coralite
and Adamantine. Also, the Porcelain teeth.
Extracting, Filling and Cleaning Of Teeth
carefully performed, avoiding all unnecessary
pain.
He would also call attention to his new mode
filing teeth with CRY AL GOLD, which is
the best preparation ever introduced for filling
teeth. He can restore TOOTH TO ITS NATURAL
sHArE with this gold, and make the filling as
solid as piece of gold coin. Go and have
your teeth examined every six months at least,
and if there is any decay about them have them
filled with Crystal Gold and you will never
need artificial teeth. Artificial teeth are good
substitute, but they do not compare with the
natural teeth when in healthy state.
All work done in such manner as not to be
exceled in Style, Beauty, Comfort, Lightness,
Durability, and warranted to give satisfaction
and be harmless to the mouth.
Samples of his work NAV be examined by all
who desire to see them. The following speaks
for itself:
TESTIMONIALS.
WE. the undersigned, citizens of Latrobe and
Ligonier, w estmoreland county, Pa, cheerful
ly submit the following as expressive of our
estimate Of DR.. Fry's abilities Dentist:
We regard DIR. Fry as naturally adapted to
the profession of his choice. His mechanical
ingenuity has furnished to his art many inval
liable notifications and improvements, and we
deem it due to him and the public at large to
say that, from long and intimate acquaint-
ance, we can confidently recommend him to all
who may feel interested, able, faithful
and experienced workman.
LATRoBE-Eli Ferguson, NJ. D, John Nc
Girr, NJ D., Rev Jerome kearnev, j l. Cham
Der. W. S. Head, Joseph a. Head, Mich1 Bos-
Sort David Williams.
LIGoSiER-L. 7. Beam, n. D., VIM. Ash
com, Jacob Echer, N NJ Marker, Esq, Jacob
Breniser, p. NJ Joseph Scroggs, d. ID.
LAUGHLINsrowN-Rober Louther, Esq A.
G.. Armor, p. NJ.
FA.RFIElD-Dr. James Taylor. [my 6.-1y ]
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
The Great Cave OF Eastern Nevada.

Eigkty>five miles 10 the southwest of
White Pine, in one of the lowest foothills
of tie Shell Creek range, is located the
great cave of Eastern Nevada Its direct
situation Is singular freak of nature, for
the ridge in which it is located extends for
a mile and a half out into the valley, and
at no point will it exceed sixty feet in
height. A story is current that, at the
time when the followers of Joe Smith
were daily expecting an open rupture
with the United States Government, this
cave was known to the high chief and
elders of the Mormon Church, and that
they brought all their plate aud treasure
and secreted them in some of the many
chambers of this cavern.
1t was first discoverd by a white man
(MormoRs not included In this country's
Interpretation of the meaning of that
phrase( in or about March, 1866 Be
ing unPrepared with the necessary lights
and safeguard twine, they did not venture
in far. Indians hold it in superstitious
horror, and their account of ''Eeap In
juns'' going far in and never returning,
and one old Indian, who is sty led by the
white settlers the 'tCave Indian" a great
many moons ago going far in with mum
Der of his tribe, and that travelled long
and finally came to a gushing stream of
water, on the banks of which grew ever
greens and beautiful flowers, aud that
great many Indians lived near by who
had dwarf ponies and beautiful squaws.
According TO him, this Indian did not
like to live in the bowels of mother earth,
but would rather E'chase the antelope over
the plain" snare the rabbit and spear the
spotted trout, SO when all were lost In
sleep he stole away, and after long time,
suffering much, he finally, more dead than
alive, reached into daylight and rejoiced
This is firmly believed by the Indians, and
even now it is only when the storm is
more severe that one will drag his limbs
just inside the protection Of the hanging
wall, and while there, will fairly shake
with fear. The entrance would hardly
be noticed by travellers, it being very low
and continuing some twenty feet, then it
gradually grows higher and broader.
Many of the chambers are of great size,
the most interesting one being styled dane
ing hall, This apartment is at least sixty
by eighty feet, and forty feet in height;
the f1oor is of fire sand stone and very
even; convenient to it are smaller apart
ments, styled the ladies' dressing room and
refreshment saloon; and near by the
most singular spring, with nice tasting
water, gushes up through crevices in the
rock. Further in the darkness increases,
and the ceilings of many of the cham bers
are literally covered with stalactites of
various shapes and forms. Stalagmites
also are thick on the floors. 1t is not
known what distance this subterranean
passage extends, but parties have been in
four thousand feet without coming to the
end Of the main passage; deep cut or
jump there prevents one from going farth-
er. 1t is proposed by persons living near
the cave, at no distant day, to 60 IN fully
prepared, and cross any and everything,
or find its close. Shermantown, Nevada,
Telegraph.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

Doc STORY. Peoria I'll Tran
script tells the following tough one about
diminutive black and tan dog He was
in the eager pursuit of rat. burrowed
some distance into the ground, and as he
w, mt in filled up tie hole with the dirt he
removed. He was missed for eight days,
when one day his owner heard suppress
ed bark coming seemingly from under
the ground, and upon digging brought the
adventurous dog to the surface. He was
rather the worse foT nothing 10 ear. bu:
beyond that he was as good as when he
first disappeared.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

DID ANY OF THEM GET AWAY "A
good story is told of late well-known
New York politician and railroad mana
ger.
During his absence from home his good
wife gave birth to twins. He was teie-
graphed of her confinement, no particulars
being given, and Immediately fastened
home.
Knowing when he might be expected,
the nurse borrowed third baby OF about
the same age, and placed it in the crib
with the twins. Immediately on reach
ing home, our friend hastened to his wife's
chamber, and after offering his congratu-
lations TO her, asked to be shown the
baby. The nurse, who had frequently
served at similar occasions in his family,
raised the covering and exhibited TO him
the three babies. Opening his eyes with
surprise, and thoroughly taken back by
the view, he turned to his wife and ex-
claimed:
"Good Lord, mother did any of them
get away ?"
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
NEW MERCANTILE FIRM /!
Nv El2EN LREI u

EDWARD ROBERTS hereby gives
HZ notice to his old friends and customers
that, on the first day of July, inst he admitted
his son. G GORGE H RoBERT5, into full partner
ship with him in the mercantile business in
Ebensbarg, and that hereafter the firm name
will be EDWARD ROBERTS Il SON.
Our stock will embrace everything in the
Fancy and Staple Dry Goods line, Groceries of
all kinds, Boots and Shoes, Hats and Caps. of
the latest styles and of all qualities, full line
OF Hardware, Queensware, &C., and in fact
every article to be found in well regulated
country store.
~ Having enjoyed successful and pleas
ant experience of more than twenty years in the
business at this place, and having completed
spacious edifce on High street ard increased
my facilities for supplying my friends at all
times and at the lowest prices with the best ar
tcles in the market, / confidently appeal to
those who have so generously given me their
confidence and support in the past to continue
the same measure of patrona ge towards the new
firm. EDW ARD ROBERTS.
Ebensburg, July Is, 1869. If.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

In the depth CT The sea be vStare arc
still; the heaviest grief is tina. le Z
silence the purest love fow tfsu1 so
eye and iuach !; ;aa }sures. ~ ls si.
able; The most impressive f.FaE go Is sl~
lent aud the mosl sD.silii t.rcac aar L. p
funeral is the silent cne WHOSE Lp= 4gs
cold,
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

INCENDIARY LANGUAGE" Thought:
that breathe and words that burn.
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16
IA WORD FROM JOHNSTOWNl
JOHN J. MURPHY Il CO
VOLUME 3.

Have co,..- HAO EAF II q IT,,
selecteJ Jss.antIy a. on hand large and well
4 '''eo stock Of seasonable
Ind . , 0Oods, cS, Boots, Shoes, Groceries,
Their stoaI seIeral variety of NOTIONS, &c.
bsualIv go ~ consists of almost every article
have 6saD pt Ia retail store. all of which
at pr;coo u seiected with care and are offered
tory. T.m mnlch cannot fail to prove satisfac-
FEB si % and and examine for yourselves.
is07.-tf, So
The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-09-16

AN excellent corn extractor-a crow
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1869-03-24
Peace Wanted IN Virginia.

The President is likely to have 10
take sides, one way or another, on the
Virginia Radical Riot question. The
negroes and the scalawags, under
Hunnieut and others, have banded
against Governor Wells, and carpet
baggers and mulattoes generally have
gone in for Wells without Limitation.
Wells, too, is in, and as he is using the
nine points of the law with effect the
row is lnconceivAble. The peace has
been broken by both sides, and each
side has appealed to General Stone
man, and through him to the admin
istration for recognition. These divi-
sions refusing to coalesce will give
much trouble to the political mag
mates here. 1t is reported that Viii
son has gone down to Petersburg to
exude oil on the troubled waters.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1869-03-24
New System of TeIegraphing.

The Patrie of Paris, of the. 10th ult:,
contains the following communica-
tion:
This morning the Emperor Napo-
leon III. consented, in the Tuileries,
to examine the new system of tele-
graphy invented by the late Mr.. Bon
ELI, witnessing some practical and
complete experiments. His msjesty
declared himself satisfied in every
point with the process and invited the
operator to return at noon, in order
that the Empress might be present:
The advantages consist in the perfect
and authentic exactneSs of the mess
ages transmitted, and the Importance
of which is too apparent to require
comment. Furthermore, this system
allows the transmission of three mes
sages iD the same space OF time thai
is occupied by one in the ordinary
manner in use at present.
His majesty considers the advanta
ges of this new system so important
that he authorized Count de Vougy
general director of telegraphs, to ofel
the operator every facility necessary
to render the use Os his apparatu
popular.