American citizen., 1869-06-05
GRIPS AND WHEfsT0NEs.

Thieves usually do business cor
their own A0ok.n
II ia less. pain TO learn in youth
than be ignorant in age.
Life is a conumdrum Which the
sharpest wit has to give up.
The rich think that people with
naught are necessarily naughty.
Watches are often stolen. Every
watch should be upon it guard.
Money is Ghear, nur professional
vocalists know that it goes for a
song.
We like black eye; we like bluc
one. We do not like black and
blue one. 60.
Every peacock is well convinced
that the eyes Of all the world are up
on his tail,
If soldier stands six feet in his
boots, how much will he stand i'll his
canteens
A Quaker in New Orleans Is SO
upright in al his dealings that he
won't sit down TO eat.
When we hear e novice playing
the organ, we think the instrument
has one stop too few.
Incredible as it may seem, many of
the richest planters in Jamaica live
on coffee grounds.
What wind would a hungry sailor
wish for at sea \ wind that blows
JoacI and then chops.
Ify you think your opportunities are
not good enough you had better i'm
prove them.
A man is badly off if, in hard
weather, he has chinks in his roof.
and no chink in his pocket.
When is lane dangerous to walk
in? When the hedges are shooting.
and the JulIr ashes out.
Why is a married man like can
die! Because he sometimes goes
out when he ought not to.
1t is true of many persons that
theil .aemory is nothing but row ot
hooks to hang up grndges on.
Solomon advises the sluggard to
90 to the ant; but the shiftless of
our day generally go to their "uncle.'' =
FATE" Ratrick, do you know
the fate of. tie drunkard 2 Fate !
don't | stand on the most beautiful
DaiJ Won eyer see -
eve know a girl" says some one,
so industrious that when she has
nothing else TO do she sits and knits
her brow"
Many have puzzled themselves
about the origin of evil. | observe
there is evil. and that there is u way
to escape it, and with this | begin
and end.
"No man in England thinks of
backing his own bootS,'' said an
Englishman to Mr.. Lincoln. "Whose
boots does he, black p Mr.. Lincoln
quietly asked.
When you pass door after, nine
o'clock at night, aud see a young
Hi'lI anu NOllldli. dlu iCsti o olhlCh;
You may het yDur bottom dollar that
the young man don't live there.
" Westward, ho p pxcIaims west.
ern exchange. We should say fel-
low might as well hoe eastward as
westward, since he HAS got to dig for
IA living wherever he may be.
"DoyO seek consolation foryOnr
SORROWS in drink T. asked a pious old.
lady of an Incorporate fellow, twho
Was something of wag. g Yes, irl
il hOrn,'' was the laconic and witty
reply.
81 say ma," exclaimed little
mink of thirteen, "do you know what
the pyrotechnical remedy is for a cry
ing infant?'' 'Gracious goodness, me,
, no ; | never heard of such u thing -
- Well, ma, it's fGeket.'' .
| A ChicagOian about to set ont on
5 his travels. and having his feet light
ed by the lamp of experience, has
= procured a trunk. encased in sheet,
: iron, on which his name appears in
Large letters, with a defiant:
:'Throw and be d
; A Sunday school teacher asked q
:. little girl who was the first man.
Size answered that she didn't know
, The question was then put 10 an
: Irish girl, who answered, /" Adam,
: sir,' with apparent satisfaction,
T. "La" said the first child, .yOI
!, needn't feel so grand abont it-he
t wasn't an IriShman !" -.