Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1869-12-01
Questions and Answers.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

A. He who fights with adversity,
and though often whipped, never
knows it.
@. Who IL the wisest man?
A. He who korrekts in himself the
faults he discovers in others. and who
measures hiz faults bi his humility.
@. Who is the handsomest man?
A. The man whOZe honesty IL hiz
loOking-glass.
@. Who IL the politest man?
A. He who kin lay aside hiz dignl-
ty amung interiors without lOzing it,
who kin make elegence mistaken for
reverence amung superiOrs, and who
kin git from hiz equals more eomplais-
anee than he gives.
@. Who is the vainest man?
A. He who kant see a peekOk in a
/ barnyard in full bloom without loos-
ing hiz appetight for his dinner.
Q. Who il the meanest man?
| A. Hewho gifts hiz luxurys bi peek
\ ing thru key-hOles.
Q. Who il the happiest man?
4 A. He who knows Ov many that he
baz made happy, and not one that he
haZ made mizerable.
Y. Who IL the purest man?
A. He who would sooner pray for
, bumblebee who stung him than brake
up hiz nest.
@. Who iz the too generous man ?
| A. He who throws hiz purse into a
crowd, the man who gifts it calls 1t
I good luck, and they who don't git it
call him phoOl.
Q. Who IL the truest man?
a. He who kan distinguish between
our Yirtews and our vices, and while
/ he commends the one, amt afraid
tew condemn the other.
/ q. Who IL the greediest man?
/ A. He who kant see one woman
kiss another without crying for sum
ov it.
Q. Who il the biggest hypokrit?
A. He who calls vice pleZure, and
then trys to make phoOl Ov himself
by believing it.
Q. Who is the best philosopher?
y. The man who praektisses hiz
own preeepts, and whose example
proves the truth of the preeepts.
Q. Who IL the best husband
A. He whoZe love for his wife IL the
constant esteem which he shows her.
| Q. Who il the most beautiful wo-
man?
a. She whose buty everybody feels
and nobody sees.
Q. Who is the best housewife?
A. The woman who can make the
best hash out Nv the least meat, and
whoze kat knows it IL certain deth
tew touch the kream on the milk
pans.
/ O. Who il the most ehaste woman?
\. She whom the angels have whis-
pered to.
Il @. Who IL the most intelligent wo-
man?
A. She who knows that her power
lies behind the throne, not on it.
Q. Who il the strongest minded"
woman?
A. She who minds her own bizz-
ness, and sees to it that her husband
minds hiz.
+ Q. Who IL the lOvelyest girl il the
village?
a. The one who, like the violet,
tew be found, must be sought after,
and, when found, il more surpriZed
than pleazed; who IL az unconscious
Of her buty az flower, and az certain
of her innocence and excellence az a
diamond in its hiding place.
B. Who is the most Industrious wO-
man?
A. She who hain't got emmy spare
time tew slander her nabors.
Q. Whe IL the most accomplish
woman?
y. The woman who kan paint pix
turs of singular buty on the broad
and spotless canvas ov her ehildren's
souls, and who il alwus reddy teW
play, without asking, lively tune on
! the heart ov her husband.
] Q. Who il the vainest woman?
A. She hasn't bin born yet.
O. Who is the nOblest brother?
! a. He who wears the honor ov his
sister, not In his breastpin, but in his
heart.
| O. Who il the sweetest sister?
! A. She who stands proudly in the
shaddo of her brother.
| @. Who IL the dearest old maid?
/ A. The girl who, like the last rose
Ov summer, ripe with buty, stands
waiting tew welkum winter.
@. Who il the happy old bachelor"
A. The phellow who picks the rose
I jist mentioned abuvl and puts it into
hiz buzzum.
0. Who is the lovelyest old aunt?
A. The one ThOZe bank accounts is
ripe and luxurious, and who haz made
up her mind not tew live alwus.
@. Who are the cleverest cousins? ?
A. He who il q little more bashful
than a brother, and not quite so much
/ so az a lover; and she who frolieks
less kareful than sister, and rather
more sassy than q sweetheart.
Q. Who IL the best skoOlmaster
A. He who, like a good cook, can
make insipid things taste good.
Q. Who IL the best judge Of human
nature =?
A. The man who IL the best judge
Ov himself.
@. Who il the best lawyer?
A. He who duz the least Dizziness.
O. Who il the richest man?
a. The man who haz the best ac-
count in the Kingdom Of Heaven.
@. Who il the best father?
a. He who kan inspire hiz child
ren with venerashun and love.
Q. Who is the best mother?
/ A. She who gave US birth and
nursed our infancy.
O. Who is the best doktor?
[ A. The man who deals with his pa
I TENTS disease, not his credulity, and
/ whoze bill il like the kiss ov child,
short and sweet.
o. Who il the shrewdest man?
A. He who keeps hiz own sekrets
and other peoples too.
@ Who IL the man oY the most
I leZure?
A. He who haz repented ov all hiz
own sins and now Ae work repen1ng
| Ov his nabOrs'.
o. Who is the biggest phool?
a. Theman who marrys for mummy
and finds it game that two kan play
at-and both loose.
O. Who is the best minister?
A. He who, while he pets the lams
ov the flock, amt afraid tev be cross
tew the ewes and weatbers.
| On one occasion, John Randolph re-
/ sorted TO a curious and novel stratagem
/ TO gain the attention Of the House. After
midnight, when most OF the members
| had composed themselves 70 sloep as