davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
FUTURE HUSBAND Oh WIFE.

He can fOretell the result OF all business trans.
actions and spcCulations. Men who were unsuc.
cessiul in their businessmen who worked hard,
and who struggled against adyerity and mislor,
tune all their lives, and found the more they tried
to get forward iE the world the more things went
against them-these men consulted him, followed
his advice, and are now rich, happy, and success
full in all their undertaking. He can tell the aE
ficted the cause Of their disease and suffering
His REVENTIVE against having children is in
nocent, safe and sure.
sY- Consultation hours from 10 A. NJ TO 3 p.
NJ, at No. 213 EAST MADISON STREET,
up stairs. Consultation fee Two DOLIARs In
teryiews confidential
Persons at distance may communicate confineI
TALLY by letter If they enclose Two Dollars fur
CONSULTATION fee. Send twenty-five cents for his Book,
entitled; "GuIDE To HEALTH AED LoNG LIFE" and
as he has one for each SEX say whether for Lady
Gentleman, only will lie sent to the
address. His circulars about Winning the Aifec.
tions Of the opposite SEX" and Important Hints to
Business Men" will be sent gratis with the book
Address all lottsIs ~ follows:
br. Raphael. lost Office Box
No. JSS-. Chicago. Ill.
Uzs~r--pzxsv-z-----r-y-sosz
THIRD WIDTH.
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06

EIPERIESrA DoCET.-Yss, surely experience
teaches those who use DR.. Morses Indian Root
Pills that it 10 better to take a medicine upon the
first symptoms of disease, that will certainly re-
store health, than to wait until the complaint has
become chronic. Use these Pills in all cases Of
Biliousness, Indigestion, Headache, Liver Com
plant, Female Irregularities, &c. Get the One.
Ia Almanac from your storekeeper. 1t contains
much useful information for the invalid and con-
vaescent. If you are ailing, use Dr. Morsss
Indian Root Pills and you will find them OF
great value Sold by all dealers.
nsvl5dwlm.
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

ONE MILLION DOLLARS,
Our facilities for trRnsactng this immense
business are better than ever before We have
agents IN all the principal cities to purchase
goods from the manufacturers, importers, and
others for CASH, and often at an immense sac
rihoe from the original cost of production.
Our stock consists, in part, of tho following
goods
shawls, Blankets, Quilts, Cottons, cling
Dress Goods, Table Linens, Towels, Hosiery,
Gloves Skts, Corsets, &c., &c.
Silver Plated Ware, Spoons plated on Nickel
Silver, Dessert Forks, fve-bettle plated Castors,
britannia Ware, Glass Ware, liable and Pocket
Cutlery, in great variety.
Elegant French and German Fancy Goods,
Beautiful Photograph Albums the newest and
choicest styles in Morocco and Velvet Bindings.
Morocco Travelling Bags, Handkerchief and
Glove Boxes, &c
Gold and Plated Jewolry, of the newest yles
We have also made arrangements with some
Of the leading Publishing Houses that will ena-
Bile us to sell the standard and latest works of
popular authors at about one-half the regular
price such as Byren, Moore, burns, Milton,
and Tennysons Works, in full tilt and Cloth
Bindings, and hundreds of others.
These and cyeTythiDp ellie for
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
HEALTH! BEAUTY!!.
Strong, Pure and Rich Blood-In-
crease Of Flesh aud Weight-CIear
Skin and Beautiful Complexion,
SECURED to ALL.
RAILWAYS
Sarsaparillian Resolvent

HAS MADE THE MOST ASTONISHING CURES.
80 QUICK SO RAPID ARE THE CHANGES,
IuE BODY uNDERGOEs UNDER THE INFLU-
CINE THAT y - -'>A
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
ONE DOLLAR FOR EACH ARTICLE.

We do not offer a single article of merchan-
dzc, that can be sold by regular dealers at our
prioc. We do notask you to buy goods from us
unless we can sell them cheaper than you eau
obtain them in any other way,wnile the great
or part af our roads ara sold nt abnut
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
OFFER EXTRAORDINARY!
Nearly Blk Hundred Pages of the
Choicest Reading for so Gents.

In order to give the people an opportunity to
become better acquainted with their beautiful
magazine, "0NCE A MONTH" the publishers
will send the first six numbers Of this year for
30 cents. Each number of "0ncs q Month"
contains so double-column pages OF tho best
stories and entertaining and instrustlyo reading
10 be found in any magazine In the country :
The subscription price is 81 year. 1t. typo.
graphical beauty 10 not excelled.
Send 80 cents, and you will get this beautiful
m'gasins from January to June Of this year,
containing $40 pages Of choice reading.
Address r. ARTHUR A SONS
SOY sll Chestnut St., Phisdolphia, Pa.
augl8dtf,
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06

lt as feas0nabIe rates as any other solvent
company.
Chartered Capital, $6,000,00o
Subscribed do 100000
Cash do 225,00o
HON. LEONARD SWETT, PRESIDENT.
II. w. H. CUSHMAE, TREASURER.
c. D. HOOKER, SECRETARY.
LOCAL BOARD.
CALVIN TRrEsDALE, M. D., PRECEDENT
Capt. I. J. KoBIssON, DIRECTOR
ISAAC HEiEsPURrER, DIRECTOR
j. II, WILSON, DIRECTCR.
HAYES d CLEAvELAED, AGENTS
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
Pay the Express Charges.

This offer is more especially to assist agents i
the Western and Southern States, but is open t
al customers.
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06

OF every type the IMPERIAL GROWN BIT
TIERS should be taken--it is tho Best Tonic in
the World, especially adapted to the use ef con .
valescents, Females and weak or debilitatcd chil-
dren.
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
THE ROCK ISLAND BRANCH
-oF THE-
Lamar Fire Insurance Go.
Proposes to insure against
LOSS Oh DAMAGED By FIRE

at as reasonable rates as any other solvent
IN
The evening Argus., 1869-12-06
TIE GREAT SECRET OF CURE

UATIT JITNNGIN
take place for AS the Sarsa paran increases the treupt
and purity OF the blood, all deposits are dmint he'd an
where there are tubcrccs formed in the lungs th
further deposits arrested and those that are eslb
ished or forming disolged, expelled exhausted, or thu
portion Of the diseased lung uIltlzed and Hc cou8ump
tive, scrotulous subject receives good, if not sound
health
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

AMERICAN ToApIEs. spicy journal,
the New York Telegram thus hays shoddy
alive: There exists among our citizens a
class of the most abject tOadies that can be
shown by any nation of the world. We have
no distinctive classes of society-the nearest
approach to aristocracy here is intellect, and
that being common only adds to the force of
our principle of equality. Yet there are toad
ies-not your genuine English article, born, edu-
Gated, trained, in the harness of self abasement,
but wretched shoddy upstarts-the most lgno
rant, uneducated classes of our people, sudden
ly elevated by the questionable speculations of
the war to all the dignity that fine raiment and
mansion on the avenue can give. These silly
people, having tasted the pleasures of wealth,
and finding it sweet to their souls to be able to
lord it over few dunkies, paid tor the purpose,
look down upon those of poor estate whence
they sprung themselves. They begin to think
that equality of man is all great mistake-that
there are divisions of society into aristOcrats
and the cdnailIe. The former class they esteem
themselves. Having acknowledged this divis.
| ion, our aristocrats begin to look higher. The
aristocracy OF Europe attracts their attention,
| An English prince comes on a visit to this coun
| try fortnight hence, and of course our high
| er class Il are preparing to kneel before him
| and to make such an ado as shall make us sridl
culous in the eyes of the world. We protest
however, against these wealthy ignorant classes
| being quoted as the representatives of New
York or of America. They have made the
class distinction for themselves. Let their de
grading worship of princes and foreign notOrle
ties be set down as the act of the wealthlest bu
most illiterate and ignorant portion Of Ameri
can society. .- '.a
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

FIRST LovE.-Ask any re,y young lady what
she thinks of 6 first love-" and she will tell
you that it is the quintessence Of all that is
ecstatic, compared with which any so called
love that may come after it must be as sky blue
skinned milk to clotted cream. Put the same
question to an enamored young gentleman OF
eighteen and he will vow that it is the Clique:
champagne of human existence, to which all
subsequent emotions dignifed with the name
Of love are mere cider. But the mature of both
sexes, in nine cases out of ten, can tell diff
ferent story. Boy-and- girl love is but faint
shadow of the intense passion which often
overcomes and enthrals the middle aged. The
capacity for loving is not fully developed in the
young miss who has just cast aside her dolls
nor in the youth whose chin is but newly &c
uuainted with the razor The enthusiasm Of
these novices in the tender passion is generally
evanescent. OF course there are exceptiona
cases but as general rule love does not take
firm root in the heart before the age of twenty
five. Professions of undying devotion from
young men of nineteen or twenty are rarely t.
be trusted. The question which a lady whC
receives an offer of marriage should consider ii
not merely whether she has 1COn the affections
of her lover, but also, whether, if won, she cal
keep them. To have, and to hold, are TIVE
| things.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

A FIGHTING EDIToR.-The proprietorS of
the Boston Saturday Ecening ErpreSs have
recently engaged the services, as a permanent
They announce the fact thus Y:
We have the sublime pleasure to announce
to the deputy State cOnstablcs, and all others
interested, that we have engaged at an inn
mense salary, one of the indispensable adjuncts
to an independent newspaper establishment, to
vita fighting editor This course has been
taken in order that we may have an equal show
with all belligerents who desire to get proper
satisfaction for anything we may say. The gen.
tleman engaged for this purpose informs US
that he has been in the business for some fif-
teen years, and that he is fully competent to
attend to all the duties required of him. AS a
recommendation, he informs us that during
| his career as fighting editor of various news
| papers he has succeeded in biting off some
| sixteen noses and twenty ears, and gOuged out
nearly forty eyes, having them now all nicely
preserved in a glass bottle, which he IS willing
to exhibit to any one who desires it. He also in
forms us that, besides being good bitter, he has
broken several arms and legs of his numerous
antagonists. He has also killed six men by
throwing them out of the editorial window,
and has broken three spinal columns By knock
| ing the owners thereof down several flights of
stairs He is an infdel, and has no fears OF a
hereafter.
He proposes to conduct his department on
the BARRIERS plan: first come, first served. All
orders will be promptly executed, and gentle
men can examine a map of Mount Auburn
Cemetery while waiting for their turn.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

ADVICE TO GTRLs.--Do not estimate young
man by his ability to talk soft nonsense, nor
by the length of his moustache.
Do not imagine that an extra ribbon, tied
about the neck, can remedy the defect OF a
soiled collar or an untidy dress.
If your hands are Drowned by labor do not
envy the lily fingers of Miss Fuss and Feathers
whose mother works in the kitchen while the
daughter lounges in the parlor
If dandy, with cigar between his fingers,
asks you if smoking is offensive to you, tell
him, emphaticalIy, yes. The habit should be,
even though the odor may not.
Do not waste your tears on the imaginary
sorrows of Alonzo and Melissa, nor the trials
of the dime novel heroines Seek rather to
alleviate the woes of the suffering ones on
earth.
If your dress is inconveniently long, and a
gentleman steps upon it, don't be angry, but
meekly beg his pardon, as you ought. Always
cherish partiality for the smell of dishwatei
it is more conducive to health and far less
expensive than "Boquet of Eden. .''-Jenm,
June.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

The Albany Times relates the following an
ecdote, which is characteristic if not true =
While passing through State street, lately, we
met lady who approached us and asked :
Are you acquainted in this place, sir, if you
PLACE? would like to find out John McHun-
nigan, me first cousin. He's living with me
brother, so I'm tould, here below; and l have
lost the direction. My brothers contractor,
and me first cousin left the ould country eight
years ago, and wint to WISCONSIN, and the last
time heard of him he was down on the rail-
road by Philadelphia; and if ye only knew any
one that wanted a woman to do the work about
the house for the bit she IL ate and place to
slape, for | havn't closed me eyes this two
nights; and if ye had ten ciDts about We to give
a poor woman that walked all the way from
Troy last night, and hayn't broke my fast the
last twenty-four hours, I'd be much obliged to
you if ye Place, sir; and God bless vel" We
gave the lady the STAMP" and passed on.
meditating
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

THE GcUMENIcAL Council. arrange
ments for holding the -Gcumenical Council at
Rome, it is reported, are nearly completed. Ii
tions, to be presided over by Cardinal select
ed by the Pope, and the results of the deliber-
ations of these smaller bodies or committees
will be acted upon by the entire Gcumenical
Council, presided over by the Pope. The fol,
towing subjects, it is stated, have been allotted
for their consideration: Pantheism, rational
ism, naturalism, indiferentism, socialism, com
munism, secret societies, errors in regard t
the Church and its rights, errors in regard t.
society and its relation to the Church, errors
in regard to natural and Christian morals
Christian marriage, the sovereignty OF the Pop
| of Rome, modern liberalism.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18
the paper half unconscionsly, til She came to

the paper half unconsciously, till she came to
this item:
!" AMERICAN DUEI.-The New York papers
relate the story of man named John, who had
young lady ward, whom he wished to marry.
She confessed her love for friend Of his, named
Adolphus, and fed to avoid her guardian S per-
secutions. Recently John challenged Adolphus,
and the two met at Hoboken, where, after ex-
changing seventy nine shots, each without eft
feet, Adolphus' pistol exploded and blew his
head off. John is missing.
Now, most girls would have tainted, or rup-
tured bloodvessel, or died of heart disease, or
gone into rapid decline, on learning such news.
But Eveleen was not common clay, and, more
over, | have promised to bring this story to a
purely original end. have had no difficulty
with it, so far-having, in fact. written it with
one hand, as easy as smoke a pipe. Let me
hasten to make finish.
Eveleen, after reading the intelligence oi
Adolphus' death, quietly but sadly ate the last
herring, and then, calling her youthful charges
went on being governess, and made very
good one indeed.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

How TO GAIN UNANIMNrTY IN JURIEs.- -
Let the jury consist exclusively of ladies. As
it is proyerLial that women never do disagree,
there would not be the slightest difficulty in
securing always an unanimous verdict. The
whole tw.lse would vote as one woman, more
especially if one of their own sex was being
tried. Besides, the more prospective horror
of dozen women being all locked up together
without cup of tea, or a stocking to mend, or
baby to play with, or novel to thumb,
would force them to agree, long before they
had looked at the prisoner even to see whether
he was good-lookihg or not
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

Two Irishmen stopping at the Island House,
Toledo, lit their gas, and, with windows open.
sat down to enjoy chat. The hungriest Of
Toledo mosquitoes soon focked in and drove
them desperate. The clerk, who was summon,
ed to devise some defence against them, told
them to close the windows and put out the gas.
They acted on the suggestion and placed them
selves between the sheets. Just as they began
into the room, caught the eye of one of the
travellers. He reused his companion with a
punch. Jamie, Jamie, it no use Here i
one of the craturs searchin' for us wid Ian
tern r.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

A new sketch of Napoleon describes him as
not liking discussion. " He listens without
answering. He interrogates in order to pre-
pare his reply, but not to receive advice. 1t is
often a; night that he makes up his mind, and
as soon as he awakes he writes to dismiss a
minister or issue a manifesto. He believes in
himself-which is strength; but in himself
alone-which is weakness. Nevertheless, he
is accessible to all modern ideas against which
he never raises an objection"
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18
lFor the Smyrna Times."l
THE LATEST PERFUME.
BY Sc RECRIER,

'Ts not of Magnolia, sweet-brar Rose,
Our tsv rite perfumes would write;
Bur AN ODOR whose richness in greeting the nOso
Don't make exclaim with delight.
'Tis not twn-s;ster Of sweet Poppinac.
Nor Night Blooming Cereus rare;
Nor Violet; Jockey Club: Patchouly ;-alack!
None OF these with 1T can compare.
Nor the New-Mown-Hay with its delicate scent;
The Lilly so pure and lair;
The LOcHst- bloom, low with it's sweetness is bent.
To perfume the soft evening air.
But as the breeze sways to and fro. inhale
Another, and MORE SUBTLE smell:
Not breathed from the Glover o Tea Rose, pale,
But from PIC PENS 1--WE might as well tell
Yes; Pig-Pens, the LATEST perfume that is out;
1t pervades every street in the town;
Into bedrooms and parlors 1t stalks all about
And contracts many brow WITH frOwn.
We've endured 1t long weeks and 10th to complain.
But necessity urges reform,
For we know if this od0r should longer remain,
Twill breed sickness in many form.
Pray why can't the pigstyes be moved some ground
Out Of town, where no persons dwellG
Or else put plenty of Quick-lime around,
This will HELP to Danish THE SMELL.
Are the Town Comms ners busy in all.
That they can't this nuisance abate:
Not the smOothness of sidewalks EN- the New HALL
Can make content with this fate.
How can we be happy, if W not we'll?
And fevers and Cholera dread2
Whoever will RID us OF this sICKENIHG SMELL,
We will blessings call down on his head.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

A six-year-old boy was asked by his teacher
to write composition on the subject of water,
and the following is the production: Water is
good to drink, to swim in, and to skate on when
it's frozen. When was little baby the nurse
used to bathe me every morning in water.
have been told that the Injuns don't wash
] was an Iniunl sat
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

DR.. Tying met an emigrant family going West.
the bottom knocked out. "What is that?"
asked the Doctor. "Why, it is my Taylor
Jug" said the man. "And what is Taylor
lug ?" asked the Doctor again. Il had son
in Gen. Taylor army in Mexico, and the Gen.
always told him to carry his whisky jug with
hole in the bottom, and that's it. 1t is the best
invention I ever met with for hard drinkers. !"
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

Miss Susan B. Anthony insists that man and
wife shall not sleep together. The furniture
dealers of Sandusky, Ohio, have read Susan 8
article and have named the forlOrn single bed
stead in use in hotels and boarding houses
Susanthonies
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

THE GOLDEN HOUSE OF NERo.-On that
part of the ruins of Imperial Rome lying be-
tween the Palatine and Esquiline Hills-a
space which was more than mile in breadth
Nero erected his Golden House," as be cal
led the new palace in which he fixed his abode
The vastness of extent, and the varied magnif-
cence of this imperial residence, and its orna-
mental grounds almost surpass belief; and il
the details that have come down to us respect
ing it were not too well authenticated to admit
of doubt, they might be regarded as fabulous.
Within It's enclosure were comprised spacious
fields, groves, orchards and vineyards artificial
lakes, hills and dense woods, after the manner
of a solitude of wilderness. The palace itself
consisted OF magnificent buildings raised on the
shores of the lake. The various wings were
united by galleries each a mile In length. The
house or immediate dwelling of the emperor
was decorated in style of excessive gorgeous
ness. 1t was rooted entirely with golden tiles
and with the same precious metal, the marble
sheating of the walls was also profusely decked
being at the same time embelished with Orna
ments of mother o-pearl-in those times vau
ed more highly than gold-and with a protu
sion of precious stones. The ratings and wood
work we're inlaid with ivory and gold, and the
roof of the grand banqueting hall was construct
ed to resemble the irmamenC. 1t was centriveC
to have a rotary motion, so as to initiate th'
heavenly bodies. The vaulted ceiling of ivory
opened and let in on the guests profusion o
flowers, and golden pipes sprayed over then
the most delicate perfumes.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

One night while was sleeping, ] had a
dream Of Joy; thought l bad charming wife
and darling little boy. l loved, l hugged, /
kissed them-I ate them almost whole. Ny
little boy got angry, my wife began to scold /;
but soon scream terrific awOke me from my
dream. My face was scratched in pieces
plague take that little brat! My wife-she
was my pillow /; my baby-aoas a cati
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18
PUBLIC REsoLUTIoN-No. 1911

Joint Resolution authorizing the transfer of certain appropra
lions heretofore made
e United States of America in Congress assembled That the
Secretary the Treasury be. and he hereey authorized and
transferred from the appropriation for paper for the public
printing contained in the act entitled IAN making
pious for the legislative, executive and penses
The government the year ending June thtieth eighteen
hundred Gnd sxty ne approved the twentieth of July
eighteen hundred and sxtyeght in aid of the appropriations
contained in the act for the following purposes and in
the following proportions, to wit:
R contingent Of the Office of Congressional Print
er. three thousand dollars.
For the public printing, seventy five thousand dollars.
Approved, April TO- 1863.
Smyrna times., 1869-08-18

BEAUTIFUL EXTRACT. =" Men seldom think
of the great event of death until the shadow
falls across their own path, hiding forever from
their eyes the traces of the loved one whose
living smiles were the sunlight of their existence
Death is the great antagonist of life, and the
cold thought of the tomb is the skeleton of all
feasts. We do not want to go through the
dark valley although its passages may lead to
paradise and, with Charles Lamb, we do not
want to lie down in the muddy grave, even
with kings and princes for our bed Fellows
but the fiat of nature is inexorable. There
is no appeal of relief from the great law which
dooms US to dust. We flourish and we fade as
the leaves of the forest, and the flower that
blooms and withers in day has not Trailer
hold upon life than the mightiest monarch thai
ever shook the earth with his Footsteps. Gen
erations of men appear and vanish as the grass
and the countless multitude that throngs the
world to day, will to morrow disappear as the
footsteps on the shore.
In the beautiful drama of Ion, the instinc
OF Immortality, so elOquently uttered by tn
death devoted Greek, finds deep response il
every thoughtful soul. When about to yie
his existence as a sacrifice to fate, his belove
Clemanthe asks if they shall not meet again, t
which he replies: l have asked that dread
| full question of the hills that look eternal-c
: the clear streams that flow forever-of the sta1
= among whose fields Of azure my raised spir
hath walked in glory. All were dumb. Bu
while gaze upon the living face, | feel ths
c there is something in the love that mantle
8 through its beauty that Can not wholly perish
n We shall meet again, Clemanthe.