Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-11-14
Friendship.
For the sunday ANIMAL.

v ~ SNho"l HPPooa'
The word most familiar to our
thought, and often on our lips, is
Friendship. As we grow in years,
the chief want felt is for a friend.
Whatever u efforts may be, we are
never quite satisfied that we are self
sufficient. Our marks are never quite
perfect. There is always a defect or a
window through which we go out TO
our fellows. Plain enough is it, that
the one pertinent question is, who are
our friends, aud by what signs shall
we know them?
or pure friendship, the examples are
few in any n age. The poverty of
the world in this commodity is really
alarming; and it appears that the
finest exemplitications of friendship
are not found in our civilized society.
1t would seem that there is a certain
familiarity with nature necessary to
its formation and growth. Such calm
ness and truth as nature furnishes,
alone sustains it.
If a man win critically examine
what is commonly called a friend, it
will appear, at bottom, TO be n who
will do US no injury. Men practically
say to one another, we will grant IA
vors and deny ourselves if ike bene-
fits accrue to US thereby. 1t is es-
teemed a rare instance that a man will
guarantee the performance by another
of a contract agreed upon. Social
friends are those who can repay our
entertainments with costlier wines
and finer meats. There is a eOntin-
ual casting OF bread upon the waters,
that it may be returned US increased
somewhat. In n word, the basis of
nearly all friendship is a certain low
form Of self-interest. 1t Is a bargain,
an Investment, in which our capital is
proportional to the certainty of the
payment OF the principal.
The error consists in assuming that
these things are the evidences Of
friendship, when Il is a matter of gen
eral experience that strangers gladly
often do likewise and better. These
services are a low benefit, and tend 10
a greater prominence of cur material
natures, which are already stimulated
to excess, and need, consequently, con-
slant REFRESHING, rather. 1t is neither
the experience of many, that a man
may be blessed with wife, children,
parents, wealth aud aequaintances,
and yet seek his lifelong for a friend.
The reason is plainly, that pure friend
ship is free from all mixture or taiat
of NOTICE or material benefit. 1t is
based upon a genuine appreciation of
the other, Of admiration for the Vir-
tues seen, and condemnation of vice.
The true friend demands from us the
truth, and expects us always at III
best. He will deny US, will not sug-
gest qualification of sense, but the
newest idea, the newest book furnish
ing food for the soul. He comes to
visit as, not our carpets and furnish
ngs. When the spirit moves him, he
speaks-not otherwise; and it is not
seldom that the unbr0ken silence of
hours does not afford the finest com
munion. Over and above all, (for ac-
q~uaintances will sufficiently dattef),
he will never tempoFize with our de
CSllof ICo anu tiCcoY JUL
them severely and unspariBgly and
openly to US. Our acquaintances ire
not backward with compliments for
noble actions; the friend has nc word
for them, for he knew they were, but
many words for those things the world
winks at, and excuses as infirmities.
The one condition TO such friendship
is, that it be free and spontaneous,
and imply no obligation, My friend
and / must meet as the water. Any
superiority, any consideration OF
profit is fatal, win vitiate the benefits
derived and finally end the inter-
course. The foundation must be spiF-
it0al service ali other is positive inju-
ry to our better Selves
It Is not necessary to undervalue
the actions called friendly. Our friend
will even feed and clothe as, but nev-
er at the expense Of our souls. The
chief objection to these mental servi-
ces, Is, that 1t Is supposed they conn
prise or indicate the existence of the
true relation. II Il quite true they
sEeeten bitter trials and tend In some
cases, to erect a kind Of love and re-