Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-04-02
Text. Fret Not Thy Gizzard.


time since | stood before you to descant
upon my numerous infirmiiies. | have
preached you many a sermon, and give
you much good advice, but still you per
sist in your wicked and onward course.
If other preachers had no better success
than myself, we may as well hang our
harp upon the Willows" and preach to
the Choctaw Indians. You poor, mis-
cradle, fretting, whining sinners what
do you think of yourselves (! You live
in a beautiful and shining world, where
stars send down their twingllng light;
where the glorious sun, true to his duty
dispeuses bis yellow and viyify'ng rays,
where ten thousand rainbows of promise.
sparkling with gold, assure you of the
realization of hopes deferred.
But fret you will. You fret because
the weather is hot, and when nature gets
sleepy and puts on her night dress to
take comfortable snooze, you fret be-
cause it is too cold. II perchance you
happen 10 get few greenbacks you fret
and stew and whine because they are at
a discount. The merchants fret because
their sales are small, and if they sell a
iackknife for two shilings they fret be-
cause they didn't succeed in getting four
The land Spectator frets because his tax
es are too Highland if he succeeds in
selling a corner lot, he frets because it
don't reach TO the other side, so lie can
get grab in China. Clergymen some
times fret, land they are eXcusabl0) who
wouldn't fret TO preach and preach to a
set OF wicked and unregenerated sinners,
that are no more susceptible to the inhu-
ence of gospel than stove pipe is sus
eeptibIe to an attack of inflammation of
the bowels !
Farmers, Notwithstanding they live on
the fat of the land, and enjoy ten thou
sand blessings, are fretfuI set of skaa-
wags. They fret because the hens don't
lay two eggs a day, because oats are
worth but six shillings bushe, because
butter is worth but fifty cents per pound,
because it don't hail buckwheat and snow
Wisconsin -four. You sinners, in my
sermons | have always tried TO favor you
as class because you give us the bread,
butter, cheese and maple molasses of life,
but | must let off some Of the thunder
and lightning of my scrmonizing upon
you. l am no bypocrite, but plain
preacher that neither fears the Devil nor
any of his fretfrl satellites. Gentlemen,
let me say to you, you have no excuse to
fret your stingy ,gizzards in the way you
do; you have all that heart can wish,
you breathe the pure air of Heaven dis
titled by the mountain laboratory; YOU
can stand and view your broad acres Of
golden grain waveriug by the gentle
breeze; you can hear the music of ma
lures choristels as they oil their golden
wings, and preach sermons with angel
voices amid the branches of the trees
Stop your fretting, take hold of the plow
handle of hope, oil up the moving ma
chine of faith; harness the jackass Of
and come to meeting, get
stay converted, stop whining
about the price of goose eggs, hard CT
der and cabbage heads; set down in your
easy chair ADD chew the cud content
ment, and when you take leave, and say
good by to this world of wretchedness
and woe, you will go TO a place where
your fretful disposition will hang az still
rs a dead lambs tail on tue crotch of an
apple tree
Ny sisters, | will say few gentle
words to you. 1t is not my intention in
this discourse to scold you, for | am
forced to say your religious and moral
cha acters are as much above the oppo
site sex as day light is above darkness,
or as beautiful blonde is fairer than
blubber Tipped Ethiopian wench.
But, notwithstanding your numerous
virtues, am panied to say that many of
your eizzards are not entirely free from
the gravel stones of fretfuness You
fret because your form is not rs you
would like it to be; because your eyes
are too blue, or because they are not
blue enough. Many of you fret because
yon haven't black eyes; some because
your eyes are too black; some of you
fret because your hair is too light; and
some because it is too dark; some of you
because it is red, and imagine that red
hair is not in fashion, and red head can
never obtain beau. My dear red head
ed sisters, don't be discouraged, for your
humble preacher is not ashamed to say
that in his youthful days he had his heart
smashed finer than sausage meat run
through machine, Rby the sparkling
glance, of hazel eyes, and the rosy cheeks
of sorrel top, with hair sufficiently red
to fire a brush heap fifteen minutes after
a rain storm.
NY beloved sisters, remember the text,
if you chance to feel the cold winter
winds of disappointment disturbing your
golden expectations and breaking the
clothes line Of all your hopes, throw
your minds upon the words of the text
fret not thy gizzard.' You are an i'm
portant institution in this fretful world
of ours; you are the flowers that deck
The beautiful garden of nature, you flour
ish en- the banks of the rivers of friend
ship, grow spontaneously on the prairies
of concealed love, can be found on the
road side ofconstancy; you flourish every
where. Some of you speak tho Ian.
guage of hope; some of romance, deli
cacy and gratitude; my female sisters,
Won sneak every language from the pure