Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1869-01-29
Iosu nILLINcs WITH nIsFRIENps

Dear Joe-Your letter came by the last
mail, and brought with it menny thoughts
ov that sunny time when VI and waz boys,
and slid down hill together Yu ask for mi
advise upon a topick which IL always deli
kate one for a third party to mix in with;
but yu are aware that | am not very delikate
and don hesitate to launch mi opinion, es-
pesbily when invited to do it. [ consider
advise generally wasted, and most sure to
be when given upon the matter in question,
but have large stock of it on hand, and
sham miss what | devote to you.
By awl means, Joe, git married, if yu
hav got a fair show Don't stand shiyyer-
ing on the bank; but pich in and stick yure
head under, aud the shiver il awl over.
Thare amt emmy more trick in getting mar
ried, after yu are reddy, than there IL in
eating peanuts. Menny man haz stood
shiyvering on the shore till the river has
avl run out. Don't expect to marry an
angel the angels hay awl been picked up
long ago. Remember, lJoe, yu ain a saint
yuresef Don't marry for buty exclusively
buty IL like ice, awful slippery, and thaws
dreadful eazy Don't marry for garments;
dry goods are awful deceptious; they are
ike the feathers on a blue jay-pick oph
the feathers, ana thare amt nothing left
Don't marry for munuyi mummy may make
yu respectabel, but kant make yu honest
nor happy Don't marry exclusively for
luv neither; luv il like a cooking stove, good
for nothing when the fuel gives out, But
marry mixtur Let the mixur be, SUN
buty, becomingly dressed. with about S225
in her pocket, svvd spulicr, handy and neat
in the house, plenty ov good sense, tut
constitution and bylaws, small feet, and a
light stopper; add tew this, clean teeth and
warm heart; the whole to be well shaken
before taken. This mixtur will keep in
emmy climate, aud not evaporate. II the
cork happens tew be left out for tew or
three minutes, the strength ain t awl gone.
! Joe, for heavens sake! don't marry for
( pedigree; thare aint much in pedigree, uu-
less it IL backed bi bank stock; family,
with nothing but ptligree, generally lacks
sense; they are ike kight with tew much
TAIL If they would on y take oph sum ov the
tail they mite possibly q, up, but they are
always tew illustrious to take off any tail.
Let me hear from yu again Joe soon.
But mi dear fellow don't be afrade, wed
lock IL az natral az milk, but in course thare
IL sum difference in milk, about highstin
cream, but there IL one thing that don't vary
and that IL, aw milk tew have the cream
rize good, and keep sweet, must be kept in
a cool placa, not be rousted up tew often.
Don't be an oIde bachelor; lonesum, and
selfish, crawling out ov yure hole, in the
morning ike shiny backed beetle, and
then backing into it again, late every night,
suspicious, and suspected.
| would az soon be a stuffed rooster, SCI
up in show window, or tin weather cock
on the ridge pole of a female seminary, az q
lonesum bachelor, jeered at by awl the vir,
ginity ov the land
JereRadh--DoDt confuse learning ant
wisdum; thare IL iist az mutch difference be-
/ tween them az tbare il between fruit that ia
raized in hott house and that which ripen:
out doors, smiled upon bi the sun, and