The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1869-01-23


I would submit it TO all the others who might
be willing TO perform. This was arranged;
and as it was near lunch-time, l was told j
had better communicate my plan to Kate
Denison, who seemed to be recognized as
sort of princess among the young ladies. Inc
elder Miss Denison, bent on her chaperonlng
duties, prepared to accompany us. inns was
not at all to my mind, and l somewhat stern-
ly asked her whether she was prepared 10 en-
act old Mother Hubbard, or some otner MS
torical character of that sort anu, Wnen she
forthwitb eliminated her from our arrange
ments.
oh, that pleasant walk in the leafess
shrubbery that day with Kate! l told her
my plan, which she was good enough to saw
was declded Improvement on the general
run OF frivolous chalades. At lunch. time
we erected those who were to act. All the
men that were wanted being few, we had al
SO a number of ladies. Then the oriel-room
was elected as theatre, because it had the
advantage of small room opening out of it,
winch was to serve as green-room. Oh, the
fun we had in that green room! No chap
erone was allo we'd there. Even the kindly
Hedworths were excluded. The great Q. e.
looked in one afternoon, and d;smayed us by
the knowingness of his glance; but he soon
pretty little blonde, Fanny, flirted immensely
with the lieutenant; and believe she pro-
posed to him outright before her visit was
over-an offer which he felt constrained to
accept There was one girl who was tremen-
dously in earnest about the charade, on the
success of which her whole heart was bent,
which was truly absurd. Kate hit the gold
en- mean, and happily combined business
with Irritation. Ladies and gentlemen, when
you witness charade, don't fatter your
selves that the actors are in a 1utter for your
appreciation. 1t is nothing Of the kind
They have whole private fund of enjoy
ment, of which you have no knowledge, and
in which you have no share. Their tun has
beea the costumes and the millinery, the re-
hearsal and the greenroom. There have
been thousand opportunities for talk and
Irritation. l was very busy, had to prepare
a good deal OF the parts, as will be seen
forthwith. There was a scene of peculiar
power aid delcacy, which l had to enact re-
peateCly with Kate to ensure the requisite
force and precision. But here, very much
abridged, is the outline of our charade as we
enacted it that Christmas Eve before nu-
merous company, which included all the 9TH
er guests in the house, and many visitors
from the neighborhood:
The first scene was an embodiment of the
idea of Tennyson's Princess. 1t represented
Ladies' College
with prudes for proctors, dowagers for deans,
And bright girl-graduates with their golden hair"
The oriel-room, with its heavy bookcases,
was turned to excellent account The Young
ladies were in academic cap and gown. We
got down lots OF necessary costume from Ok.
ford. The lady principal wore the gorgeous
costume Of a d. c. L. When all were assem-
bled, she called on the different gill-under-
graduates to go through the work of the lee
ture room. We certainly crowded an i'm
mense number OF subjects into that half hour:
all the absurd jokes we could think OF about
history and science, ologes and isms. The
great q. e., returning to the slang of his early
YOUTH condesended to observe that it wasn't
half so bad. The laughing Kate was called
upon TO repeat theorem from the comic
Euclid. The theorem which l had written
for her, was this:
Let A. b. be lobuSt young gentleman,
and Z. ID. charming young lady. A. B. and
C. d. are lovers.
For A. d. went down to the railway station
to lie in wait for c. D. as she returns from
the country town. And by the corollary of
the twenty-seventh proposition of the first
book, all young gentlemen who lie in wait for
young ladies at railway stations are in love
with them. Therefore A. B. is in love with
c. D.
But c. D. mentions nothing to her mamma
concerning this little circumstance. And by
TIE htty-ninth axiom, young ladies who do
not mention such little circumstances to their
mammas are in love. Therefore G. D. is in
In love with A. b.
But 1t was proved that A. B. was in love
with Z. d., but G. ID. is in love with A. B.
therefore they are in love with each other
Therefore they are lovers @. E. d.
With such parodies our intelligent under
graduates got through their work. assisted
my mathematical young friend to disrobe
fro" her academical attire, and intimated to
her how fully could realize the inner con-
dition OF A. Il. In the meanwhile there was
full discussion respecting the word. That
sharp Queens Counsel would not be positive,
but he suspected that it might very possibly
be Blue.
We young fellows had The next word very
much to ourselves as the young ladies had
had the first. 1t was the interior of a hair
dresser's shop. Kate was behind the counter
and took our money with most bewitching
grace. Then our legal young friend request
ed to be shaved. A Thrill of horror ian
through the female portion of the assemblage
as the naked razor was flashed and fourished
before their eyes, not believing that the
blunted part was applied to the lips of the
ter of lipess dandy, which Kate
told me l did in the most natural
way TO perfection and really did not require
any assumption OF a dramatic part, asked if
| could be accommodated with beard 1
explained that all our men wore boards, that
Nature had unkindly omitted to furnish me
with one, that had tried Madame Racheps
from the desert OF Sahara, without
effect, and l wish to by provided with one,
and my first beard, in the best military style,
was provided and Kate received payment, as
for an every day transaction, without the
slightest apparent emotion.
The invldiOus voice of the legal luminary
was heard to whisper Beard.
The third act formed truly imposing tab
eau. 1t was gorgeous chamber. l appear
alone, with splendid beard; but no longer
)lacls for the color has strong blush tinge.
call out to my darling Fatima and tell her
that have returned. When Fatima enters,
my conception Of the historical character re-
quires that l should greet my much-loved
bride with every exterior mark of devotion.
To the utter horror OF the elderly Miss Deni-
son, pass my arm around her waist and
kiss her between her sweet eyes. 1 explain
to her, soto uOce, and to the Aunt afterwards,
that was sorry to be rude, but that really
the dramatic situation left me no alternative
Presently ask for the key. The key is pro-
duced, to the terror and CONSERVATION of Fa-
TINA, with an obvious discoloration. The
scene which ensued was grand. rush upon
the trembling Fatima and seize her by her
glorious hair. bear witness that there was
no chignOn there, and that the tresses which
descended to her waist were genuine. Let
me confess that l had rehearsed this scene and
distracted lock OF her hair, only the day be-
fore. She is informed that she is promptly
to make an addition to that curious museum
in the secret chamber. She implores but
brief delay, which we all know is granted
She implores Sister Anne to look from
the watch-tower and see what is coming.
Sister Anne sees nothing "but the wind
ALLOWING and the grass growing" tell Fa-
TINA that her doom is come. | raise nv hanu
oh daring hand and seize her tresses-
oh dear, delicate tresses! Then her brothers
rush on. Need say that the gallant lieu
tenant rejoices in the sword exercise, and
that am demolished in the most scientific
fashion, As meet my richly deserved doom,
contrive to fall repentant at the fairy feet of
Fatima.
OF course they all knew the word. You,
discerning reader, discovered long ago that it
Was Blue-Beard. This was the way, then, in
which we got up our Christmas Charades at
birmingham Castle. l enjoyed my visit, nv
my shooting. never brought down
a partridge more truly than Kate brought
down her bird. To quote the remark of Mr..
Samuel Weller, who gives it as the reflection
Of Blue Boards domestic chaplain, became
the victim of connubiality!
"a ewino Machines