The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1869-08-27
SPLENTERS.
A knowledge of our duties is the
most useful part of philosophy.


| Babies are the coupons attached to
the bonds of matrimony. The interest
is due at random.
The poet says @'bright things never
die" This is mistake; bright red
hair will dye beautiful.
u eIt's great comfort to be left alone, /"
said an Irish lover, especially when
your sweetheart is wild ye."
] Go not for every grief to the physi-
clan, with every quarrel to the lawyer,
nor for every thirst to the bowl.
During the present year there have
been 2,67l new buildings erected in
/ Brooklyn, n. Y, at a cost of 81, 4Ol, 800.
The true sign of o great poet, or of
any great author, is not that he is scsth-
out faults, but that he makes you love
his faults, in spite of yourself.
In twenty days there will be all rail
+ communication between Atchison and
st. Louis, without crossing the river or
changing cars.
If you will properly regulate the
dulge little-nay, good deal-in the
qualiny.
The Copperheads ridicule Grants
bathing at Long Branch. There Is no
Democratic precedent for bathing on
record.
''Do you call this trunk ?" growled
detected porter. at only needs a
| lightning rod to be mistaken for board
ing-house."
Admiral Farragut has recently adj
mitted, in a complimentary letter to
Admiral Bailey, that the latter officer is
entitled to all the credit for the capture
of New Orleans.
Mr.. p. Il. Barnum's forthcoming book
will, it is said, give some new views of
Jenny Lind, rather damaging to the
reputation of that popular songstress.
The report now goes out that two
cottages have been engaged at Sarato-
ga for the Empress Eugene and her
suite. Every Jenkins in the country
is sharpening his pencil in consequence.
1t is claimed that Great Britain has
now such extra facilities for shipbuild-
ing, that in case of any emergency she
could send an iron-clad daily from the
works on the Clyde alone.
I'D. Harris (colored,) late candidate
for lieutenant governor of Virginia, has
entered suit against the owners of the
Baltimore steamer Kennebec, for ejec-
Tennessee has not ratified the ff-
teenth amendment, but the friends of
Senter insists that the Conservative ma
jority in the new Legislature are fully
committed to it. ee
Jay Cooke and several other distin-
guished gentlemen of New York and
Philadelphia have purchased tract of
land at the Rangely lakes for fish pre-
ole n.
The young man of the period says
there is one particularly good point in a
voyage across the ocean, which is, that
one can get as tight as he pleases every
day, and everybody thinks he's only sea-
sick.
Elisha Sprague stands in danger of
having to pay the damages of $4,000 to
the sentimental Amanda Craig. A sheF-
iff has levied upon some of his Chicago
city lots and advertised them for sale
August 27.
A machine has been inevnted in Eng
land for making hay by machinery.
The grass, as soon us cut, is subjected to
currents of hot air, thus placing the
farmer independent of the old saying,
s'Make hay when the sun shines"
The London labor associations have
appointed a committee to visit the prii1-
cipaI cities of the United States, to in
vestigate the labor systems and consult
with leading workingmen, with view
to mutual advantage.
A physician going down Broadway
with friend of his, said to him, "Let
us avoid that pretty little woman you
see there on the left. She knows me, and
casts on me looks of Indignation. ! at
tended her husband 'Ah! / see, You
had the misfortune to dispatch him."
"On the contrary replied the doctor.
81 saved him."
A French writer states that butchers
meat may be preserved in hot weather
by placing it in large earthen jars, put
ting clean heavy stones upon it, and
covering it with skim milk. The milk
will become sour, of course, but may at
forwards serve as food for pigs, and the
meat will be found to have kept its nat
ural primitive freshness even after
eight or then days.
Mr. Frederick Douglass, Jr., recently
married daughter of Mr.. A. MoIyneux
Hewlett, of Harvard University. Some
of the papers have stated that the brides
father is white man and a professor i'm
the college. This is not the case. Mr..
Molyneux is a mulatto. He was for
merly prize fighter of considerable re-
pute in England, and is now Instructor
in gymnastics at Harvard. ~
The United States have 100000 of
acres planted in vineyard, and that area
will soon be doubled. If, as is asserted,
all heavy wine-growing countries are
temperate, and have very little drnken-
ness in them, the United States should
soon be able TO get along without any
undue agitation about the too free use
of ardent spirits. ~
General Thomas Jordan, now i'm COM
mand of division of Cuban troops, was
written to by the officials Of the Treas
ury, asking him to refund $4,000
which he owed the government before
he Joined the rebellion. He replies
'sYour letter received. Any further
communication will reach me if sent to
Newark n. D. a.,eqts.i
turning to its old condition. The lake
is rising at the rate of q foot year.
Gen. Connor's little steamboat, that has
been carrying ties for the railroad across
the lake during the last year, certainly
rode for q mile over what was good
grazing ground i've years before. Does
Providence propose to drown the Nor
mons out, and with water solve the
problem that is pulling our moral phil
osophers and statesmen? - 1
The Detroit Free Press wants mod
ern improvements worked into school
reading books, and offers the following
as sample of the sort that Would be
porter. See how joyful he looks. He
/ hoe hoard that a man has rflf hfd r1rrr.,