North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-11-17
Hsw They Cook Us.

How They Cook Us.
No do not remember to have met, in
7 Say reliable shape, with the process adopt
I'D by cannibals for cooking the human
beings they devoured. Presuming that
svsA such bestial savages had some idea
0f tAs cuisine and did not relish their lux
hfiss of the animal kind in a raw state,.
ksSsrs curious to know whether they
eoaStsd os boiled human Assh before they
kssit, y vhsthss ths1 took it ':fried,
thMsd, II TIE Shell, pr put UP for dcnss-
~ nee and exportation," as the signs say
over the oyster-saloons. Sydney Smith
zEs4ks of the fondness Of the South Sea
1Sl1nders for e little cold missionary"
a1a alludes to their keeping it as stand>
e dAiaty for visitors upon side-board
IT. llneh but how had it been cooked
oA got cold? we used to question
s1elvss in juvenescent years, and we
uer soula set satisfactory answer.
The encient Tartars used to place their
1ssh neat between themselves and their
oftss' backs, take an early mornings
41ds of an hour or two, and return with
their breakfast nicely "done to turn"
But they obviously liked their steaks ex-
cessively rare, and cannibals, on the con-
trary, might have q taste for things well
done. Human flesh, we all know, has the
flavor of fresh pork. Indeed, it is diff
cult for even q practised palate to discrim.
mate between the two. When we were
more youthful, it was the custom of the
older students in medical colleges to com'
pei every new student, when he first en-
tered the disssoting-room, to eat morsel
of human flesh just rudely broiled oyer
the hot GOALS in the fireplace. Hence our
acquaintance with the precise favor of
humanity. But, underdone pork is only
palatable to the German peasantry, and as
cannibals have nothing Of the Teuton
about them, we infer that they love their
luxuries of the meat kind "done brown"
Again, therefore, occurs the piquant in>
terrogation: How do the cannibals cook
human aesh3 And we have just found
an answer b The inquiry.
Some Frcnch soldiers were lately cap
tured 81 ths Casaks-sot the "Canncks'
@ some Of the Canad ians are vernacularly
called -but tribe Of cannabalistie saw
/. ages in. Africa. Az the soldiers were
well.fsd and plump, the Canaks resolved
to have couple of banqnets by cooking
and devouring one of their prisoners at
time. At these banquets no women are
allowed to be present. The warrior feasts
are attended only by men. Human flesh
is considered too great delicacy for the
appetite of the feminines; and the Canaks
have an idea that o dinner-out involun'
tarily acquires some Of the characteristics
Of what he eats, and that the woman who
eats ever SO small piece of soldier is at
once penetrated with martial feeling, a
disposition to fight, and courage that no
longer fits her for state of submission.
En- passant, it is to be hoped that our
s'strong-minded" will find no suggestion
in this Canak theory worthy of special
acceptance, or we may find them yet not
only denouncing the "horrid men," but
furtively eating few in order to more
fully inspire themselves with masculine
ambition? But to return to our French
soldiers one Of them escaped to tell how
the other was cooked, and we give his de-
scription of Canak civilization the
advancement of civilization is always said
to 90 hand in hand with that Of gastro>
nomic progress.
According to this soldiers uniform tes-
4imony, the Canaks irst decapitate their
victims and then hang up the body by the
feet to . tree to bleed.
meanwhile hole yard and hall
deep and yard wide is dug in the ground
The hole is lined with stones, and then in
the midst of them great fire is lit
When the wood is burnt down Q little and
! elows with heat, it 10 covered over with
more stones. The man is then cleaned ou1
and divided into pieces about foot long
the hands and feet being thrown away al
worthless. The pieces of the man ar
placed on the leaves Of : large rose-tre'
peculiar Is the tropics. The meat il sur
rounded with cocoa-nuts, banans, AMI
some other plants noted for their delicat
flavor. The whole is then tied togethe
firmly tho 6re is removed from the pit
the meat 10 placed in among the hot stones
and thus, carefully covered, is left to cool
for IN hour.'
This is the way in which cannibals cool
human flesh before eating it, SO that VI
and our readers need never puzzle ou
wits on that subject again.-Erch.
Fat Men.