The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-01-18
VAN TR JUMPS LETTERS.
Written for The Democrat.
NUMBER SIX.

workcri-the editors Of TuE DsMocBAT----
tia, many and divers individuals have
been making extended and anxious in
quirics as TO who We was-aud il We was,
why was We? And we have thought fit,
in order to crafty the laulable curiosity
of our many admirers, to lay before them
short and succinct account Of the rise
and fall Of the Trump family.
Itisan undoubtcl fact that there's
been rruups in all countries, aud among
all people. Not to 60 too far back into
the dim ages Of the past, there was Al
axander-hc was a regular Trump. a
right bower. lie madea heal Of fuss in
bis timc-and he stormcd around-nnd
he rode a horse what nobody else could
and when one day they fetched TO him a
great tlunlerin' big not for him to unite,
he just took out his old toastng fork-hc
was mighty handy with that fork, any
how-and cut the pesky old thing right
in ,wo-aud everybody hollercd and made
great stew abou. ,hat-just as though
anybody couldn't have done it. r ~.
There vas Dcmostlencs, he was a
Trump, too. And what n fund Of CAB
the old Teller used to have! lie used to
50 down to u zig pond, aud Gil his mouth
full of little rocks, so as to res! hi,seli
from lalkiu'.
Then there was family named Caesar
they were pretty much Of Trumps in
their dag. Julius. the old man, was
ba;dheadcd ; and be was some on the
| fght; but ono day Mrs Caesar forgot to
put auy soda in the bi;cuit-or somcthiu'
Of that kind, and so the old fc!ler sent
her homeland that made Brntus mad
he was another Trump--and he gathc red
a lot Of the boys together, and one day
just when Cesar was getting up on box
oma!;e speech on the license question,
they let into linn and cleaned him out. r
The above occurrence sorter riled a
young TELLER named Mark Antony Trump.
and he got on 9 store box to preach Cn.
sar's funeral, aud about the time he 60.
done prcschin'. Brutus and the other
boys what had licked Caesar come down
street, and they had right smart Of a
skirnlidge right there, and Mark he
licked EN-. Brutus and his squad got
out Of there. and Mark gathered up a
big crowd, and every one lakin' not less
than four ounces in his brooches pockets,
started out aud had big Il ht. When
Bru,us found his boys had got licked, h.
just pulled out his jack,knife, and got one
Of his friends to hold it, and while he
wasn't looking, he just rammed it into
him. 64'la' esi Rl, ,oa
There was Nero Trump. lie was q
musical sort Of cuss. And one night
he wanted to dance a Virginia reel, and
bis penny DIP didn't give light enough,
SO he went out and set fire to n log barn,
and it spread, the fire did. Twas right
bad, too, for there wasn't even heucoop
with cent Of insurance on to il.
About this time the family went out Of
business in Rome, and Tie old gentleman
was looking around for q situation, when
he picked up copy OF the Weston. Ner-
alt, which he subscribed to and always
paid Alfred for in advance. aud So an
advertisement from London in the. "Want''
column. for u King. He,went. But the
family didn't have much luck there. Ouc
Of his ncphews named Dck--llumpcd.
back Dick--wio was a kind Of loona.
tic, rather give The faniily backset. 50
to speak. lie found couple Of young
Trump. strolliug around in The jail one
day, aud lie made fisll-bait out Of EN-
with his bowie knife-and he took another
one named Clearance and drowned him il
big tub Of beer And finally, after
he'd killed of pretty much all the family,
he got tobe King hisself. Then, young
Teller nrmed Richmond Trump conc
across tile creek from France with n lot Of
fllibusers from down East, and they had
a general knoek-lown. Dick, he rot
scared aud rushed around irving ia trode