The Plymouth Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1869-1941, 1869-11-25
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

WE'LL POSTED The telegraph.
GOOD Stock ACTORs-Vanderb and
Fisk.
MEN OF MARK-Those who can't write
their own names.
WHY is the word Yes" like mountain
Because it's an assent.
q AN certain, wife, that 1 am right, and
that your are wrong; I'll bet my ears on
it." Indeed, husband, you shouldn't
carry betting TO such extreme lengths
"No MAN in the nation is more indebted
to the people than l am" said en old
of1icc-holder Indeed, sir; how much of
their money have you taken?"
FACTS prove that the man who insures
his life is more likely to live to an adj
vanced age than he who neglects to do so.
Insure in the Washington and enjoy life.
GLOW CAME such a greasy mess in the
oven?" said fidgety Old spinster to her
maid -ofall- work why" replied the
girl, "t the candles fell into the water, and
| put them in the oven to dry"
WHEN an ill-natured fellow was trying
to pick quarrel with a peaceable man,
the latter said I" never had fuss except
with one man; he was buried at four
O'Clock; it is now halfpast three"
If it is wise to insure your house, where
the chances are only one to hundred
that It may burn down, it is wise to insure
your life, which must certainly end-yOu
know not how soon. Insure in the Wash
layton Life Insurance Company.
"MY dear Lucy, l am surprised at your
taste in wearing another wOmans hair
on your head" said Smith to his wife
Ny dear Tom," replied the wife, " / am
equally astonished that you persist in
wearing an other sleeps wool on your
back"
THE real estate of Charleston for 1869
| is $4,000, 100, and the total tax on prop
erty and sales SOL 1871. The sales of
merchandise for the year is set down
at nearly $12,OOO,OOO. Hotel receipts,
$174, 1O4 printing office receipts, $751;
1919; incomes, $245,99S.
A TRICKY politician, who was noted for
never doing anything without sinister
purpose, having died, the clergyman who
preached his funeral sermon said that it
would have been great consolation to
the friends of the deceased, if they could
have ascertained his motive in thus sud
denly leaving them.
A CELEBRATED New York physician
says that Americans are too quiet at their
] meals He.says: at is well established
clinical fact that cheerful society at meals
greatly aids digestion. The sympathetic
influence which exists between the stOm-
ach and brain attest the truth of the as
sertiOn.'
THE DIFFERENCE
Saratoga and Long Branch-you have seen them"
Said Charlie one morning to Joe;
- Pray tel me the difference between them,
For bother my wig if | know
Quotn joe, It's the easiest matter
At once 10 distinguish the two
AT the ono you go into the water,
AT the other it goes into you'll"
GIVE way for the postmistress of a small
town out on the plains. She needs no in
| PRODUCTION other than the following ex-
tract from her first quarterly report to the
| department For weeks past I have
slept with six-shooter at my bedside and
| a carving knife under my pillow, expect
| ing at break-O'-day the Indians would
come for my scalp, but all of this has not
| been half so harrassing to my mind as the
making out of one quarterly report"
| A PROSPEROUS old grocer of a certain
| city having been advised To give his son a
| college education, did so. After the young
man had graduated, his father sent him to
New Orleans to look after his sugar in
terests;" and, on reading letter from
him, he exclaimed to the gentleman who
had induced him to send his son to col
| lege, "Just look here, now, and see how
| you've made me throw away my money
ON this boy, for, after all his college larnin,
he spells shugar without an h, every time p
SUMNER NJ BoLToN, of the Eleventh
Maine infantry, at the battle of Bermuda
Hundreds was hit by ball over the right
eyebrow, which penetrated the orbit and
destroyed the sight. The wound was
probed, but no ball could be found, so it
was allowed to heal up. Ever afterward
Bolton was afflicted with excruciating
pain in one half of his head and dizziness
which no medicine could relieve. He
finally consulted physician, who was OF
the opinion that the bone in the back part
of the orbit was injured and should be re-
moved, or the ball was still lodged there,
pressing upon the nerves and irritating
the brain. A few days ago the doctor cut
down to and removed an ounce bal with
a small portion of the bone attached. The
ball was flattened like an old fashioned
cent, and had been corroding in his head
| for II We wears Relief was Immediate