The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-03-28
W.T. Anb WISDOM.

The mObp pVPs.-A 1890 - -
20 the Chinese is L.
The sopg an escaped convict would sing,
aThe last link is broken"
There is no dungeon SO dark and dismal
ca the mean mans mind.
what is taken from you before you get
III Your portrait.
The last place which you would expect
woman to like is still.room.
The spanish ideal-millions. The Span
;sh real-two-pence haif-pcnny.
The road to ruin is always kept in good
renoir. and the traveller pays the expenses
of it. a+
The man who makes an impression on
the heart of coquette must be marble
worker.
WHY should a eoachman's business be
GOOD at all timesP Because it is always
driving. t
A teetotalers arguments are pretty sure
to be sound, for he Is certain to make use
of nothing which win not hold water.
An "expectant one' naively remarks that
"aistant" relations, when making their
wills. are invariably "very close"
Awoman arrested in Cincinnati for steal
isr fifty pounds of beef, apol0gised for
taxing SO much by stating that she had NO
knife to cut it.
Let those who would affect singularity
with success, first determine to be very
yirtuous, and they will be sure to be very
singular.
"Father Taylor, is your son-in law
Christian ~ said minister at a camp meet
ing. "Well, Thomas isn't exactly saint,
but he is q very sweet sinner"
A bluff old farmer says, " If a man pro-
fesses TO serve the Lord, like to see him
do it when he measures onions as we'll as
,rIap ha hn1lers glory halieluyaPO
When q man has feathered his nest you
will generally find that he also plumes
himself upon it. How true it is, therefore.
that riches take unto themselves wings"
1t is told of Lord Eorbury, that when
passing sentence of death upon man for
stealing a watch, he said to the culprit,
any good fellow, you made grasp at time
but caught eternity"
A maiden lady, speaking of her youthful
precocity, said that when she was six
months old she went alone. A malicious
individual present remarked, Yes, and
she's been going alone ever since"
A certain tayern-keeper at Leigh has in
scribed over his door, I" My sign is in the
cellar" man who lives opposite says
folks who go into that cellar almost always
bring out the signs thereof with them.
Despair is the logic of the coward and
loafer. Despair is q shabby fellow. He's
always pulling his companions into the
mud. Once inextrieably sprawled head
long there, he leaves them with q fiendish
chuckle of delight.
"What, in mercy's name, shall we do for
dinner" asked a wife, when, after telling
her husband there was nothing in the house
to eat, he said he had no 9doney. "Do ~
said the husband wildly. " Hal ha! 1
have it now. Go fry the goldfish and roast
the canary"
A pompous individual walked up to the
bar of a aside hotel, and with consider
able flourish registered his name, exclaim-
ing, Pm ieutenant-goverrfor of -.n
That don't make any difference" said the
landlord, you'll be treated just as well as
the Others"
Two little boys were met after dark by a
fellow who demanded their money. Said
one of them, 81 have no money! This
might have been a sufficient answer. But
the other made assurance doubly sure by
adding, land haven't any pocket to put
money in"
watts de matter, watts de matter ~ ex-
claimed an old Dutchman, as he tucked up
MS apron and ran OHt of his shop to know
the meaning of a crowd in his neighbor-
hood, :. Hat's dc matter ~ "There is a
man kilLed,n answered a bYstander. g Oh
lsn DAT all Shust a man kilt tout it
vas q fght.n
"A celebrated divine, who pridesi himself
upon the originality of his sermons, was
once told joenlarly that sermon he had
preached was excellent "But,n said the
Wag who told him, ~ had previously read
every word of it in a book have at home.n
The astonished clergyman begged for a
sight of the volume. "Oh, | have no
1ou6t you have the same book in Your
heFary-it1is JOhnson's Dictionary"
=, A gentleman, standing in a crowd, felt
the pressure of two feminine feet upon his
patent feathers. He stood it for awhile; at
length a the pressure began to feel the least
nas uncomfortable. Madam, y he gently
rre rem "you are standing on my
feet." "Your feet, sir z" eyes, madam
=, GOODNESS! l beg your pardon, sir; 1 |
thought was standing on block of wood
Mey are quite large, SIR ?" "Quite-but uou
oOrered 'eDa, madana.n