Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1869-10-27
An Adirondack Stage Driver.


"What is the best product Of the soil ?" |
ask.
Well, ! reckon the human family can't
be beat, replies the driver suddenly waking
up. "If you keep your eyes open tight
you'll see that there's more Of EN- than you
can shake a stick at"
What is the next best orop2
well, on the whole, | guess nothn in
particular"
Again subsidipg, he again wakes up with
the question
You wouldn't like to be buried here,
would your
"Why mott"
Because the soils so poor you'd never
rise ag'in"
am inclined to believe that my friend
the driver has said this at least once before,
if not oftener, for there is consciousness in
his eye not unlike that noticeable in after
dinner wits immediately subsequent to an
impromptu bon mat over which seepess
nights and anxious days have been passed.
Laughing with the heartiness Of AN iHgeHHe
in modern comedy, and being nodded to APP
provingly in consequence, (such is the worlds
farce, even among the Adirondacks), | make
inquiries concerning the climate.
The climate can't be got ahead on no.
how Nobody ever dies here except by ao-
cideht. Sometimes the people do kinder give
out, but they are strangers, and generally
come from New York. We what stay here
all the year round dry up and blow away
when we got tired Of living. I'm gettn'
sparser nor | used to be-
At this stage of the journey Mr.. Driver
seems to entertain fears Of drying up before
his time Jumping out Of the wagon, and
proceeding to a spring, he empties the re-
mains Of bottle labelled "Castor Oil" into
a glass containing very little water. 1t is
very peculiar looking castor oil, so peculiar
that | venture to ask whether there is any
prohibtory law.among the mountains
"Guess not" answers Mr.. Driver, who Of
fers TO share his dose Of castor oil, and is re-
warded for his virtue by a refusal. We're
law unto ourselves. When there's no laws
there's no transgrcssors. Amt that the best
way2 What's the use Of making laws Just
for the fun of standin' round and seem 'cm
broke don't call prohibition temperance no.
how, do you? And tell you what, them folks
that come up here aud 60 into epleptic fits
whenever they see fellow warming himself
with drop Of somethin' that amt tea, are
Jest the awiullest critters on tobacco and cof-
fee that ever you sot your eyes on. They
beat a smudge at smoking, and they drink
coffee as often as them emigrants vote in New
York on lection day. My eyes, amt it
strong though blacker nor any niger :
they 60 in for temperance, why on airth don
they peg away on it all round ?"
Expecting a reply, Mr. Driver pauses to
listen, but | inbumanly forbear to argue,
mainly because | cannot. Silence is supposed
to imply profundity, consequently | preserve
it until the putting of another question.
:" How do you people behave2'
Pretty well, on the whole. We've only
one church up here. The more churches the
more blacksidin' | find"
Are you married. Mr.. Driver?"
"No, I'm lookin' round for rich wife.
When | can find woman worth thirty thou.
sand dollars reckon III marry her. | think
considerable of women. think they've got
to save the country. Men have got to be so
corrupt that eff somethin' don't step in, wen
go to pieces as slick as maple sirup."
"Then you would have women vote ~
mo, wouldn't neither. Here galang,
you SAL" interpoates the driver with cut
of the whip at the off mare. IL don't 90
womens rights no how. When | say
think considerable Of women, mean think
considerable of EN- in their way, but | dom
want 'em in my way. Homes the place fol
EN-, and home influence is their sphere
Atlantic Almanac for 1870.