Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1869-11-11
josh BilIings Papers.
PUDDIN AND MILK.

much in their gals as kan.
The miser is riddle. What he pos
sesses he hain't got, and what he leaves be-
hind him he never had.
Good phisick il like iddle-it fur
nishes the tune, while natur cuts the pig
con wing and cures the patient.
Caution, tho very often wasted, IL a.
good risk to take.
Pity IL about the meanest wash that
one man can offer another. l had rather
have ten dollar greenback that had been
torn in two twice and pasted together,
than tew hav all the pity there il on the
upper side ov the earth-pity IL nothing
more than quiet satisfackshun that I am
great deal better oph than you am, and
that intend to keep SO.
Fortune il like coquette, if you don't
run after her she will run after you.
Did you ever hear rich man sing
If was going to paint picktur of
Faith, Affection and Honesty, i would
paint mi dog looking up in mi face and
Vaughn his tail.
The devil il mean cuss he never
keeps hiz own promises, but alwus makes
us keep ours.
Truth il az artless az child and az
purswasive.
Thare IL nothing in this life that men
pay SO hi price for az they do for re-
pentance.
Laws are made, customs grow-laws
hav tew be executed, customs execute
| themselfs - laws begin where customs
end.
Men who hav good deal tew say use
the fewest words.
Punning is nothing more than mimick-
ry, the best punster now living is
monkey he makes a pun on a louise forty
times day bi SCRATCHING hiz head.
The road to wealth il a highway, but
the road to knowledge IL byeway.
Shame IL the dieing embers of virtew
don't know ov a better kure for sor
row than tew pity sumbody else.
Experience liz q grindstun, and it IL
lucky for us if We kan git frightened by
! it, not ground.
We shouldn't forgit one thing, that
there is not a single fee simple on this
futstool; even the best tooth in our he'd
may fall to asking before sunset and hev
to be jerked out.
| Ignorance IL the wet nuss ov prejudice.
| Anticipation IL constantly nibbling ex-
pekted pleasure until it consumes it, jiss
SO the skool boy, who visits his basket du-
ring the forenoon too often, has already
discounted his dinner.
| never KIM man trubbled with mel
ankolly who had plenty to dew, anu
did it.
Good breeding, az | understand it, in
giving every man hiz due, without rob
bling yourself.
Natur IL jist az honest al coy.
Talk little but listen ont loud, yung
man, IL tho wav tew make the company
suapekt you ov knowing CRATE deal more
than yu aktually do.
If yu should reduce the wants oy the
people ov M York city down to aktual
necessitys, and plain comforts, yu would
hay tew bubble the perlice force tew
keep them from committing suicide.
People when they find fault with their
selfs.are generally moro anxious tew be
consoled than forgiven, and, therefore,
- - L~o;->a ~ confess hiZ sins few
me and SEE, 'thare amt No hnr,a Co. - i,
i tell him he ought to kno anvil about it,
and guess IL more than half right.
| What the world wants IL good examples,
not 30 much advice; advice may be wrong
but examples prove themselfs
Pride il bogus. Adam at one time had
d right tew be proud, but he let sin beat
him out of hiz birthright.
A growing hen and cackling ruester
are very misfortHnate poultry in a family.
Az a ginral thing a man who marrys
woman of more uppercrust than himself
will find the woman more anxious tew
preserve thp distance between thcm than
tew bring him up tew her grade or so
down to hiz level.
Titles are valuable; they make us ac-
quainted with menny persons who other
wise would be lost amung the rubbish
Peace IL the soft and holy shaddcr tina,
virtew casts.
Habits are like the wrinkles on A mans
brow, If you will smoothe out the one if
will smoothe out the other.
1t is a darned sight easier tow find -ix
men who kan tell exactly how 4 to ing
ought to be did than tew find one Yho
will do it.
Marrying for money is "A meaucr way
lew git it than counterftting.
Dispatch is taking time bi the ears.
Hurry liz taking it bi the end ov the tail
The miser who heaps up gains tew gloat
over IL like a hog in pen fatted for
show.