Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-09-04
"That Horrible Chicago.

Gated marriage, and who explained to me his
reason for so doing. For such man to do
| such thing, was, to say the least, surprising
listened with breathless interest while be gave
me brief history of his experience during the
first ten years of his residence in that celebrated
city.
Said he: 81 first came to Chicago fifteen years
ago. Then was young and innocent, which it
is hardly necessary for me to say that | am not
| at present. had friend living here whom |
had known while he resided in New York, and
conducted himself like a civilized man 10 that
civilized community. As be had written to me
to visit himself and wife when l came to Chi
cago, remembered the invitation when I did
visit that city, and Immediately upon my arri-
val proceeded to his house. He was not at
home just at that moment, and so asked to see
his wife, whom Thad known only year before
in New York. In answer to my inquiry for Mrs.
De worse, pretty, black-eyed girl came into
the drawing-room and received me quite warmly.
Well, we chatted very pleasantly together
until my friend came in, and l really felt myself
beginning to experience very affectionate i'm
was his neice, or cousin, or uncle, or something
of that sort. But in the course of the evening
asked him whether his wife was at home, and
if so, when he proposed to let me see her?
"To my astonishment, be replied, This lady
is Mrs. De Worse! thought you were already
aware of the fact
"Of course blushed and felt horribly un-
comfortable and said that was not aware that
he had lost poor Emily"
"tOh,' said be Emily is very we'll. and has
married partner of mine. We were divorced,
you know, about six months ago, and married
my present wife only last week.
"Well didn't feel quite so affectionate to-
ward her after that, for had been warmly at
tached to Emily; but we said no more about
the matter, and went away, vowing never to
get myself into such scrape again by asking
after anybody's wife, l did not see my friend s
new wife for about month afterwards until |
one day met her in the house of a mutual ac-
quantance, and in the course of conversation
said to her: BY the way, might I ask you to
say to your husband that want him to come tc
my office some day next week?
" Il don't think you know my husband she
replied, smilingly
nervous.
&c Why, my new husband is named Smith
she answered. 1 was separated from Mr.. De
Worse yesterday morning, and married Mr.
Smith last night.
81 left that house pretty rapidly, and regis
tered second vow, to the effect that 1 would
never, to my dying day, ask Chicago lady
had already made as to the Chicago wives and
husbands, made me decidedly shy Of them.
But the very next day I went into De Vorse's
store (corn, pork, and provisions), and found
him engaged in conversation with terribly
angular female, who looked like compound of
New England old maid, Western woman's
right lecturer, and an Arkansas squatter's wife
Of course pitied my friend, and when the ter
rible female had retired, remarked Il con-
gratulate you on your escape; that horrible fe-
male would have exhausted any mans patience
in ten moments conversation
1" What was my horror when he replied /
must beg you to speak more respectfully of that
lady; she is at present my wife "a fact of which
you are, of course, unaware, as we were married
very privately last night
81 never said word, but fed abruptly from
his presence. Once more l swore-and l went
before notary, who had the biggest kind of a
Bible, so as to make the oath more binding
that never, never would / speak disparagingly
OF any Chicago woman to any Chicago man.
After that l felt better, and for two weeks
avoided making any more mistakes. At the end
of that time, however, met the new and angu-
lar Mrs. De Worse, to whom had, in the mean
time been introduced, having the liveliest kind
of a quarrel with big, prize-fghting looking
fellow, who was apparently on the point of
knocking her down. Of course l flew to her
rescue and demanded to know of the fellow
what he meant +; also if be was aware who that
lady was, and who her husband was. To which
he briefly, sententiouslv, but, as 1t struck me,
irrevantly remarked He'll I
81 paid no further attention to him, but :urn-
ing to Mrs De Vorse said Madam permit me
to protect you from that ruffian's insolence.'
81 Instead of thanking me, she actually slapped
my face, and said: 'Pll teach you to interfere
between man and wife. That's my husband,
and we've been married three days. It's
pretty hard thing if wife can't stop in the
street to speak to her husband without having
some idiot come and make q muss about it,
"Now," continued the lawyer, "this is not
only true story, but it is fair example of the
continued trouble that man gets into who lives
in Chicago, and doesn't know how to hold his
tongue. You now know why 7 hate the Chi
cago customs, and why 60 in for indissoluble
marriages. l never made mistake in asking
man about bis wife the whole time l lived in
New York, but here l have got into more awk-
ward places, and had more fights than I can
count, just because no man or woman stays mar
ried more than month at furthest."
We drank weak lemonade together in solemn
thoughtfulness, and parted from him with the
feeling that bad as it is to be indissolubly con-
nected with an unpleasant mother-in-law, it is
better than to be constantly bothered by
change of wife.-Corresponden Mobile Reg'ster