The Ottawa free trader., 1869-04-17


A CRATE nuisaaes- had seel
A great "eonpessr"-0hIssSsorm.
skylights-TAa -. pooa and stara - ws.
Tho fec ssenSa y svsrybody-ColIss. } =
The hardships = IL eeeaa-Ths iroa-clsda
ANevpors p.p:r pabli.ha. births under the
head Of New Haske. g8f ~ $
At what time was Adam married Upon his
wedding Eve % s. tieHs .aA4&Rs @auasfa
In the days Of No a, before and were born,
there were but two vowels
whe. did the alphabet sst into q row ? When
A bet. B fit. D cried, N ragged. @ bit and x
pounded. NJ IS 80, N,
Some say that the quickest way to destroy
weeds is to marry widow. It il, NO doubt, 4
most agreeable spsciss Of 'husbandry. r
An Irishman was asked how he came 70 be .
Dublin man II hs was born in Cork. To this he
replied that he was staying there 1t the time.
"Leave you, my friend, !" said tipsy fellow,
clinging to lamp-p0st on q dark night; "leave
you in a condition not to take care Of yourself! |!
(hic) never" gas
A clock having struck the hour Of one, ten.
ucTsutdEtCu WUmo0 exCl8lWeO. NOu WudG q
cruel c!ock!" "Why soi' asked friend. "Be-
cause it struck its little one!'
81 sells peppermints ON Sunday" remarked
good old lady, who kept candy-shop, "because
they carries 'em to church and eats 'em, and
keeps awake to hear the sermon; but il you
wants comfts you must come week days.
They're secular commodities"
"Why don't the men propose, mamma,
Why don't the men propose? "a
Each one seems coming to the point,
And then away he goes"
"They are frightened at your cost my dear !;
They are thinking OF your clothes."
A gentleman took his country cousin to the
theatre recently. On coming out he remarked I:
"They played well, didn't theyp"
The cousin from rural district looked round
at him and said
"Oi course they did; that's what they are
paid to do"
There's practical criticism for you.
'Haow's trade, SQUARE ?"
"Wall, cash trades kinder dull raow, major"
'Dun anything terday ?"
''Wall, only leetle-on credit. Aunt Betsy
Pushard has bort an eggs worth of tea and got
trusted for it till her speckled pullet lays"
Married couples resemble pair of shears,
says Sydney Smith, $50 joined that they can
not be separated, often moving in opposite direo-
tions, yet always Punishing any one who comes
between them"
Elderly and Anxious Traveller-"Do you
think the 1850 train will be punctual, sir 2"
Party Addreseed-"Well, really can't say
1t will be 10 to If it is'
"How well he plays for one 80 young r. said
Mrs. Partingtoa, ~ the orgsn-boy performed
with a monkey near the door; land how much
his little brother looks like him, to be sure"
A girl who was making dress put the sleeves
in wrong. She was unable to change them, az
she could not determine whether she had got the
right sleeve in the wrong place or the wrong
sleeve in the right place.
An exchange, in speaking of the magical
strains of q hand.organ, says: "When he played
old Dog Tray We noticed eleven pups citing
in front Of the machine on their haunches,
brushing the tesrs from their eyes with their
fore-paws."
The following il volunteer tribute to modest
worth and unebtrusive gentleness Of character /:
'The wheelbarrow: for simplicity of construc-
tion, strength, courage, and general moral excel.
lence, it is tho superior of the velocpede, and
ought to be encouraged"
WooING IN PoETRY.-An old gentleman Of
the name OF Page, finding young ladys glove
at a watering place, presented it to her with the
following words: ISL eJf 80
III from yo.r glove you take he letter G,
Yosr siovs b Isvs, which devote to thee"
To which the Lady returned the following an.
swer:
III from your Page you take the letter P,
Your Page h age, and that won't do for me-"
SCENE IN vnGuIA.--Sahle gentleman, in the
voice OF Stentor: sSTatsesr =
Coffee colorsd dame: .Huah dat racket you
distracks do whole neighborhoodn - 1a
Sable gsntlsnan: 'You kin hear me, kin
you?p sS .sat a.sa ~
COAee.colored dame: ~Hsar youa kin hear
you mile !" ~
Sable gentlsaan: sGlad Of dat, glad Of it ! Ia
hollerin' Ia be hserd / Tatoss!"
With which cry hs touched up his lean horse
and moved on.
Co.'s CouaH 6AIsAM u the cheapest and the
best. 1t ia safe and speedy cure for Coughs,
Colds, Group, Whooping cough and all diseases
OF the throat and lungs. In addition to the OF.
dinary 400 sise % long and fsvorably known
MAMMOTH FAMILY bottles are now offered to the
public, giving much larger quantity Of Cough
Medicine than has ever been offered for 81. \.
o. june 2-1y
e' 33atmttng.