Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1869-07-17
THE SECRET LET OUT.

clean and nice. and il " as resolved unanl-
mousIy that Mrs. h. should be hired 10
10 the JOB.
After the lodge adjourned. the guardian
who knew the inquisitive character OF
Mrs. *. procured billy.goa, and placed
| him in closet. He then informed the
lady of the wishes OF the lodge, and ssld
he wished her early next morning, as
he then would be at leisure to show her
what was and what was not 10 be done.
Morning came, and brought with it Mrs.
X. with her brooms, pals. brushes. tubs,
&c, prepared and armed for the job, and
The guardisn waiting for her arrival.
Now, madam" said he, "Iil tell you
wha, we want done, and how we came 10
employ you. The brothers said II was
difficult TO get any one TO DO the job who
wouldn'l meddle with the secrets in that
lille closet (ponting 10 the costs prison
We have not tie key, and can't find II to
lock The door. | assured them that you
could be depended on"
depended on!' said she, guess !
can. My poor dead and gone husband
who belonged 10 the Free and AntI-Ma'
sons used 10 tell me all the secrets Of the
concern, AMI showed me the marks the
gridirOn made when he was ventilated,
and told me how they fixed poor Morgan,
and have never told living soul to this
day. II Ifnobody troubles your closet TO
End out your secrets ill | DO, they will
lay there I'LL they rol-so they will"
"l though, so," answered the guardian;
land now want you TO commence IN that
corner and give the room a decent clean
ing, and have pledged my word and
honor for the fidelity Of your promise; so
don't 60 into that closet, and all will be
we'll" and he left the lady 10 herself.
No sooner had she heard the sound Of
his foot on the last step OF the stairs than
she exclaimed; Don't 60 into that closet
"Tll warrant there's a Pesky gridiIon or
two, or some other nonsense IN there
lust like The Anti Nasons for all the
world, I'll be bound. III see, anyway!
| can take little peep, and nobody will
be any wiser, guess can keep secret. "
Sulting the action to the word, (think.
ing all the while what glorious secrect
she would have TO tell Mollie Trump. her
next door neighbor,) she stepped lightly
and cautiously to the doar, r,peeped myste-
riously about, 10 see if any one could see
her, and then quickly opened the door.
What was her horror 10 see coming from
far corner Of the room, after having VT
tered most unesrthly shrek, living, &C
tual, bona lide billy goat with perfect
torrent Of wrath flashing out OF his eyes.
Making tremendous rush for his liberty
he reached the threshold OF his prison al
most by the time the old lady had sutf-
cienily recovered 10 scfeech murder and
fire without getting choked. and came
near upsetling the dame a. tho door
Both made a rush for the head OF iht
stairs. buI tie door was full OF implement:
for house cleaning, and all were swep
clear from their position down in the bot
tom Of the steps.
The noise aOd confusion occssioned by
such uncereDonious coming down stars
drew half the town 10 witness Mrs. IL &
efforts 10 get from The pile Of pals, tubs
should be the first 10 the spot but the ras-
caIy guardian. who, after releasing the
goal, which was crippled Tor life, and up
lifting The rubbish that bound the good
woman to the earth anxiously inquired II
she had been taking the degrees.
"Takin' the degrees" exclaimed the
now rate lady, "yOu fetch taxed hate
iul, you! II you call Iumbling from top
to bottom of The stairs. and beln' scared 10
death, takin' things by degrees, why
have them. And II you lrlghlen snd huT'
other folks as you have me, I'll warrant
they'll make as much noise as did, and
mebby more"
hope you did no, open the closet,
madam said the guardian.
"Open the closet! Didn't Eve eat the
apple when she was told not to II you
want a woman to 10 anything, tell her
couldn't see anything through tie key
hole, and wanted 10 know what was IN
that closet, so opened the door, and the
iarnal criler popped right out at me. |
thought was eoner, and started fog the
stairs, with Satan bul,ing me at every
Jump. ! fell over the tub, and got down
stairs all in heap-ugh! lha, screechin' ,
hateful thing"
"Bui madam" said the guardian, "as
you are in possession Of the great secret
of the Order, you must now 60 back and
be Initiated in the regular way"
Regular wsyw exclaimed she; "and
90 again, and ride tina, criiler without sad.
die or bride! No, sir! never! don'i
want nothing 10 90 with the man WHO
rides il, mother. Id look nice on billy
goat, wouldn't /, nov! No. sir! III never
90 nigh il nuther; and If can help it. no
lady shall ever JOIN the Odd Fellows.
Why should rather join the Free Ma.
sons, and be fried on gridlron as long as
fire could be kept under it, and be pulled
from the garrett TO The cellar with hslter
round my neck, just as ny poor dead and
gone husband was; for he lived over it,
bot never could ouilive such another
ride as took to-day. You DON, ketch
me back in there"
A young blood was trying to be psriic-
ulsrl y sweet TO a young lady, and bad
paid her number Of visits. Tie old
folks bad somsboS got sn idea into their
baads ttt.t 10 rnzt inn