The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-07-22
Shirts and the Little Heathen-A Melan-
choly Mistake.
BY JOHN QUILL.

sBut they must have clothes, Milkins."
enc they mustn't It's ridiculous nom
sense for any collection of old women like
your sewing society to start out lot Of duds
and things to the heather in Africa. It is
confounded stupid, I say. What do you sup
pose lot Of old coffee colored pagans, steep
ed in ignorance and vice, want with shirts
Hey? Why, they don't want 'em. They
were born without 'em, weren't they! And
if it was right for them to have clothes don't
you suppose they would have had 'em Don't
you suppose benefcent nature knows better
than you and all the other hcifers down at
the sewing bee !? Why, it's absolutely ride
"Wilkins, you shan't talk that way about
Its perfectly ridiculous. But you go on ;
you 90 on and send them over there to Afri-
ca, and do you know what will happen? Do
you know what will be the result Of your
tomfoolery? Why. the first thing you know
some benighted heather or other will go and
mount one of those shirts some night,
and paddle around in the dark and scare the
other heather, and make believe in ghosts,
and set the whole continent Of Africa to fall
ing down and sacrificing themselves to lot
of old nine headed idols, and jabbering away
at their pagan prayers You've got sin
enough on your soul, old woman, without
that I want you distinctly to understand"
"Mr. Wilkins, you are too contemplate to
notice."
eyes, and I'd just like to know what an
Ignorant heather knows about shirts, any
how? Why, absolutely nothing; and very
likely the first fellow that tries to get into one
will get it on upside down, and mix his legs
all up in the sleeves and get himself into a
tangle and trip up, and fall over some prcci-
rice or other, and then there will be the re-
sponsibility for mangled man added to your
list Of crimes But I'd just like you to bear
in mind that you don't send any Of my
wardrobe out there. don't want a parcel
Of Ethiops sporting around on Afric's sunny
shore in my linen. Not exactly. | like to
see men enjoy themselves, but not in that in
decent style."sa
eBut, Mr.. Wilkins
+ ssPretty spectacle it will be now, won't it
Forty-six little Africans dressed in q simple
but chaste garb of white shirts, sitting along
pencA IN Dunuay-Scnool wliSSHuS o"o!A coe'
or else enjoying themselves at recess singing
ham fat and doing the walk around That's
a pretty way to civilize a heather land, amt
it? For they won't wear any pants, you OBJ
serve. If you 60 to shipping a lot Of pants
over there the first thing you know they will
have them tackled on to some idol or other, or
rammed full of feathers, and be holding re-
lisious service before each pant; and as for
socks, why every sock as has ever been sent
over there has been stuffed with sand, and
used as a war-elub. That's SO, and I've NO
doubt that very identical pair you're knitting
on now will brain stray pagan some day OF
other in some muss.
@Mr. Wilkins, you know that's not So"
sIf YOU want to do your colored friend
service, why don't you go to work and ship
them lot of the delicacies of the season
Why don't you send out ship load Of can,
ned missionaries. or something else that will
make their mouths water? Or you might
collect an assortment Of second hand jaw
bones, and give them for necklaces, or send
out your own false teeth, OF