The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1869-05-15
Selected story.
THE CATHARMONICON.

From the st. Louis DemOcr.
Amono fine eitizens ~ C;no;nno+

An Original Concert-Western Music
Forty Years Ago.
tFrom the St. Louis Democrat.
Among the citizens Of Cincinnati, some
forty years ago, there was one named Curtis
we forget his initials-a glider by trade, and
genius in his way, but that way ran in the
line OF mirthtulness rather than money-mak-
ing. Or course he was poor. Did the reader
ever see merry rich man? But he was none
the less popular among his special friends,
the steamboatmen, who never employed any
other to gid their picture frames or "horns'
which the fastest boat was always allowed to
carry on her pilothouse.
Our hero was not at all coDtented with his
poverty, and many and original were the
plans he formed to mend his fortune. he
was an observing man, too, and had not iaii-
ed to notice how often fortunes were MADE
out OF things apparently trinlng' ne notice9
particularly how easily money was acquired
bv musicians. singers, concerts, and all that
SORT of thing. and he believed he could get up
something Of the kind that would please the
nuhlic and pay well, though in truth he knew
no more than a mule about flats and sharps,
lninims and quavers. But be had big
cootchet in his head and determined to work
il out.
Living near "Westeln Row." where cats
TO study the musical capacities OF the feline
race. They had kept him awake many a
warm moonlight night when he preferred
sleep to their internal serenades. So he de-
termined to get up grand Philharmonic con-
cert, in which. cats should take a prominent
part, and if he failed to make either music or
money, he would at least have the satisfac-
ton OF having some fun out OF it.
Taking a few cats to experiment On, he
ont q
they were addicted to, or excelled In. lie
pinched their ears twisted their legs, stuck
pins in Observation-Disclosures, and used
other pleasant devices to develop the music.
But he found no way so certain OF bringing
out the sound as the, application OF the back
OF case knife across the tail. This never
failed to elicit the note ii there was any tai
ent at all in the animal-the modulations,
piano and forte, being easily obtained by
making the blow light or heavy.
This remarkable discovery Curtis believed
might be SO managed as to make him ior-
tune equal to Nick Longworths or any other
mans. soup he goes next morning, after
he had matured his plan, to ColunI bia market,
and inquired on every man, woman and boy
he met it they had any cats at home to spar.
OF course ttey had lois OF them, anb before
long he had more brought to him than he sup
posed could be found in Hamilton County
lie had employed an EngIishman named
johnson, a drinking fellow, but musical witha
and who could build organs, to make one to
serve asian accompaniment to the cat voices.
johnson informed him that one of six octaves
would do, at least tor the experiment. Curtis
Teckoned up the octaves and found that four
dozeu cats would ill the bill. But he ordered
two dozen more, Tor fear that some might
have detective voices. or prove obstinate or
caprlcious, like the operate tribe generally.
fl,nr, xrIo
tions prepared for them in sundry boxes
barrels, kegs, &c, in the back yard. But bless
yoGr soul SIX dozen were nowhere. All the
boys in all the counties around, in Kentucky
as well as in Ohio, heard OF the unprecedented
demand for the animals, and every market
day lots oil them might be seen with baskets
and bags vending their way to Western Row,
to get the 'quarter" or half dollar" the price
Curtis established for his kits and cats as .per
size. In month or less his six dozen was
made up, CONF rising every age, size, sex, and
color. Curtis then published that he had his
full complement, he could not buy any more,
had no more room for them. But still the
boys came on, in almost unbroken fi.e,
and finding mo sale," inc0ntinently dumped
the cats down at his door, whence they scat
tered up alleys, down cellars, over fences, and
into doors, As Curtis often asserted, Ito the
number of SIX hundred and fifty" he some
times added thousands.
johnson went on with the building of the
organ and the adaptation CT the extra blade
keys to the cats tails. He arranged that thS
singers should be confined in narrow boxes,
which, while they allowed Tree play TO the
lungs, guarded against clawing by having lour
holes in the bottom through which the legs
protruded. The tails were enclosed in tubes
provided with longitudinal slots like to
be scientific and precise in descripton-across
which the blade keys worked. These extra
keys were connected somehow with those oil
the organ, SO that the keys and their appro-
pirate voices should be in perfect unison, and
thus produce, as the inventor expected, that
concord OF sweet sounds" that rapturous
harmony which is said to constitute the Ian
guage OF angels, and so forth.
Z Curtis, on his part proceeded with the inu-
steal education OF the cats, aided occasionally
by johnson, and in month or SO had COM
piete choir, from the kitten of two months,
his trebles and talsettos, and his pussy sopra
nos, up TO the venerable toms, who growled
out double bass equal TO Carl Formes.
His greatest trouble arose from the pro-
digous number of tom cats turned loose by
those reckless boys. AS might have been ex-
pected in that immoral city, they soon be
came dssipated vagabonds, keeping late
hours, visiting Cur. is' musical family without
leave, and drawing away the thoughts OF the
younger outS iIOui Lutlr PROFESSIONAL SJuuleS.
But at length the organ was completed and
the six octaves OF cats arranged in due order
A few rehearsals were given before select
audience OF critics-mates, pilots, etc., from
the steamboats, in port, and these were willing
to make affidavit, if necessary, that such a
conceit had never been arranged since the
days OF Handel, Orpheus, or Tubal Cain.
The second story of warehouse near the
landing was rented-a stage, drop scene, and
tiers OF seats proviied-Ihe whole intended
to accommodate four or five hundred people.
The organ and cats were safely transported
to the place of exhibition or performance
without accident, save that the two principal
bassos, being accidentally put in the same
box, had an awful night all the way up from
Western Row, and were obliged to appear be-
lore the pubic with very ruetul faces and
bloody noses, which, however, did not at all
detract from their popularity.
Everything being in readiness. Curtis had
flaming posters stuck up all about the levee,
displaying in huge letters,
CURTIS
CATHARNOMICONl III
Grand Vocal
and