Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1869-01-08
From the Toledo Blade
NaSby.
EXCITEMENT AT CONFEDERATE ROADS,

JOE BIGLER REDUCES ANDREW JofNsoNS
THEORIES TO PRACTICE-DEAcoN BAs-
CONS BLANK AsToNIsIIMENT-AcII Ncii,
Plight, AND TUMBLE-THE REV. Pc
TRoLEUM V. NAsBy's IMPROVEMENT
uroN a. JoHNsoNs PLAN.
Posi- OFrIs, CoNFEDERrT X ROADS,
witch is in the Staff NV Kentucky,
Dec. 10, 1868.
The message wuz reserved by us at the
Corners, ex mite hev bin expected, with
rapcher. Its astonishin how persistent
A. johnson is How delightfully."- and
reglerly he does throw them old ideas NV
hissen at Congress, and how shamefully
they hev got into the habit NV treatin NV
EN-! Why, they refoosed to heer his
messagel What a pity it is that one
who hez so much faith in hisself can't
git any faith in him! When | red NV
the inhuman treatment Congress gave
him, |, ez a Federal oflis-holder, shed
tears. A johnson hezn't yoozed me
well-he hez put me into place wher
Their is skasely nothin to steal-but so
long ez | hold commission | shell drop
the offishel tear at insults piled upon
him. Poor Johnson Me and Secreta-
nv Welles are the only two who could
stand by him, onless we mcleod John
Quincy Adams, jr., witch don't count
much ez he is only one-eighth Adams
anyhow.
Thefnanshel policy NV the President
struck us the most favorable Nv any part
Nv it. Troo, we don't none NV us pay
taxes, but Bascom, Pennibacker, 'and
McPelter, who hev distilleries, and who
in addishn hold the posishens NV Assess
or, Collector and whiskey Inspector,
know that under the butcher Grant,
which is comm, there'll be new deal,
and that they'll hev to pay. We're well
pleased at the ice; and the balance NV
us liked it becoz eff the Nashnel debt
amt to be paid the tax on whiskey kin
be put at still lower figger.
Indeed, SO we'll pleased were we that
we felt it rite and proper to call meet
in to indorse it, which wuz held at the
church, ez yoosual presidin.
Bascom interdoosed a resolooshen COM
mendin the fnanshel policy wv the Pres
ident, which we wuz goin to pass when
to our disgust Joe Bigler riz. Eff the
cholera wood be quite shoor to take that
cuss, l believe the Corners would be will
lin to take its chances NV it. But moth
in will kill Joseph. He spoke ez fol-
lows:
81 approve NV the resoloosh.n, and
hope it may pass yoonanimusly. Debt,
my fellow-citizens, is a Boa-constriker
which brushes all who find themselves
within its rock ahead thro life, and Debt
is KILN me now. 1t amt Debt exactly,
neither, which hurts us-its the payin
my Debts. Now A. Johnson's policy
scots me. He takes the debt which
bears interest, and in the most simple
manner possible, makes the interest pay
the principle. He takes this Beacon
striker, puts its tail in its mouth, and
makes it eat itself up. Sich fnanshel
skill hez ben exalted by few and surpass-
ed by none. l move the passage NV the
resolooshen, and three cheers for A.
johnson.
The resolooshen wuz passed and the
cheers given with will, when Josef riz
agin.
L hev one more remark to make"
sed he. swat is rite in nashnel matters
is ekally rite to apply to the matters NV
individuals. l approve NV the Presi-
. ident's method NV payin debts, becoz it
shows me an escape from my troubles.
! | hev small piece NV land onto which
my esteemed friend Bascom holds a
mortgage for money loaned ten years
ago. | hev paid interest onto that note
promptly for ten years, witch at ten per
cent amounts to ez much ez the principle.
Now"
Wat in thunder are 700 gettin' at?'
spoke up Bascom, turnln' white.
"The gentleman is cleerly out ov or
der" replied Josef 81 hev the floor.
Will the Chair perfect me in my rites, or
must perfect MYSELF"
"To resoom. mite in justis demand
Nv Bascom my note, hevin' paid him in
interest more than the principal amounts
to. But l shell temper my juitis with
mercy | forgive him for takin the in
terest l hev paid him all these weary
years, and shell make him this PROPOSE
, ton: Keep the note till the interest
amounts to ez much ez the prinsiple, and
then give it to me, cancelled"
"But how about the money WITCH let
yoo hev-yoo swindler ?"
"Hevn't paid it to 700 in the inter-
est" askt Josef.
Well, then-how about the inter-
est !" yelled Bascom, very much excited