The Portland daily press., 1869-07-27
Gossip and Gleanings.

fIr IL. ST E IIII.
Fanny Fern says All:whom we love are
handsome
The public singer that draws" best is the
mosquito. .., s.
"A philosopher has discovered that men
don object to be overrated except by assessors.
Can you steer the mainmast down the fore
castle stairs?" said a sea-captain to a new
hand. Eyes. sir, 1 can fyou will stand below
and coil it up" -
---sI know by little what great deal
means as a gander said when he saw the tip
OF fox,.'s tail sticking out of hollow tree
Sheridan. gave the following humorous
definition: "Irishmen-a machine for con-
yerting potatoes into human nature
"A lawyer in certain city in Connecticut,
not remarkable for his cleanliness of person,
appeared at party while ago with roso in
his buttonhole. "Where do you suppose it
came from?" said he to brother lawyer who
was admiring it. The latter locked up and
down the entire leugth Of the questioner, and
with great deliberation responded, "wby,
suppose it grew there" '., 5e..
Good for mosquito bites--auid extract OF
lobelia. .I.,..5st .,a r....
Work upon the Lincoln monument will be
commenced at once, The association have
fund Of S159, 600 ~, .@...... ....... ~.
!. "A juror was excluded from the panel for
murder trialIas New York, the other day, who
said he had conscientious scruples as to the
death penalty, but il he were satisfied that the
prisoner was guilty he would declare him so,
without reference to the punishment Mr..
Spencer and other able lawyers hold that this
exclusion was unwarrantable, aud will make
test question Of it. a....
Mime. X. told her servant to wake her
next morning at six, as she had something i'm
portant to do at that early hour. Certainly,
Madame won't fail. You have only TO ring
the bell, and III be down in minute"
Horace Greeley says his farm is such a sue
cess that his turnips last year cost him one
dollar and twelve cents eachl
AT the seaside just now they first make
out the extras" on your bill. The board,
washing, Sc, comes in the shape of a post
cript.
All the honey-bees within a circuit of
Twenty-Five miles about St. Louis have stimuli
taneously deserted well-f filled hives and disap-
peared.
"A gentleman in New York has invented a
rat trap, which kills the animal instantly,
throws its body in the air, and sets itself TOR
another victim.
A woman in New Orleans was srrested for
throwing pail of boiling water over a man.
Her defense was that she took him for her hus.
band. lsI
"A country cleig man, says he has married
but one couple in a year, and that they paid
him nothing, stayed to dinner as it was a rainy
day, aud then borrowed his umbrella when
they lett, which he has never seen since.
Rev. DR.. Fowler, of Chicago, calls the
theatre the ''guilloii of the soul"
"A Methodist paper invites "our friends
who have any sort Vt patieuce in listening to
the slow, dragging singing in some OF the
church services to sing the following stanza
written by the Rev. Alfred Taylir, to the tuue
s.Joyfnlly:''
oismally, dolefully, downward we drag,
Making our music most mournfully lag;
singing the songs OF salvation 50 slow,
Greaning and gruntng along as We go;
Painfully p0kihg DER pious old poem,
Weary, the wOrshippers want to 90 home
Dr0ning so dull they can't know what 70 40, Ah
Pleased when the pleading performance is '"iO's"
r. -lRev. Moses Clampit, an eccentric preacn-
er. was holding forth at Santa Clara Naley'
| a yout,g man rose to go out, when the preaen-
er said. ssYoung man, II you'd rather go 70 ne'i
| than hear me preacn, you may Ine SINNER
a.onped and reflected a moment and then
saving respectfully, Twelb lbelieye wou'd'
went On.f .neif
: Colonel Ryan, the fillibuster, IS IN Canada
Is t,oasteJ. that he would perish in his cause,
hut he don't perish worth cent. ~