Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1869-01-07
A SERIOUS JOKE.
TuE DANGERS or MIXING DRINKS on
CINCINNATI STEAMERS.

n
TuE DANGERS or MIXING DRINKS on
CINCINNATI STEAMERS.
A dav or two since an elderly gon-
tleman took the Cincinnati boat at
this point, in company with a much
younger gentleman, designing to pass
day or two in secluded Cincinnati
and then return to the hum and buzz
of noisy Louisville, whore both live,
and where they will both read this
brief allusion, at the same time, per-
haps, thanking their stars that their
names are withheld.
Getting out Of sight Of their native
city, and nobody else from there being
aboard, they resolved on making the
most of their time so, getting glori-
ously drunk, they reveled until too
tipsy to take care Of themselves, when
they were necessarily put to bed. For
an hour or two both slept undisturbed,
but at length the delicious oblivion
broke as to the elder, and he awoke
to find himself in a very dark place,
with n noise that seemed equal to ten
thousand threshing machines ringing
in his ears. In a few minutes he re-
covered sufficiently to remember that
he was on steamer, and with the
recollection of the water he all at once
felt a burning thirst parching his
throat and almost consuming him.
Making his way out into the cabin as
quietly as possible, so as not to dis
turb his sleeping friend, he relieved
himself at the water cooler, and as he
was returning to his state room he
saw some Of the passengers playing
game Of cards. He stopped, became
somewhat interested in the game, and
forgot all about going back to bed.
While the elderly gentleman was
out in the cabin, the younger gentle
man awoke. Not quite 50 boozy as
his companion, he remembered having
retired TO the state room, and he com
menced feeling around in the dark for
his room mate. To his horror, the
elder gentleman was gone, but his
watch and pocket book were beneath
the pillow, and the young man sailed
out of the state room in search Of his
missing companion. He was nude Of
everything but a ghostly night suit,
but as he stepped into the cabin he
was not observed, everybody having
retired except the small party who
were playing cards forward. As he
looked, he espied his friend stopped
over and intently watching the pro
gress Of the game, and all at once
brilliant idea struck him. lie would
play q practical joke on the elderly
individual. He would 90 and take the
watch and pocket book and hide them,
and then witness his friends discom-
future at missing them, for he knew
the elderly gentleman always dreamed
ofrobbers and pickpockets when on a
journey.
No sooner did the thought strike
him than he started to execute it.
Hastily getting out Of the cabin, he
proceeded TO the berth supposed to
have been occupied by his friend, aud
commenced moving his hand about,
but was suddenly startled by a short,
quick grunt, and then a heavy body
rolled out Of the berth, and then a
series of hideous yells and shrieks fol-
lowed the contact Of the body with
the floor.
"Mein Got Mein Gotl Murder
Murder-rl Mein Got! Murder-r-r
Roppers Tievcs Oh, mein Got !
Bolische! Bolische /"
"Oh, for heavens sake, dry up, you
id old Dutch fool You'll have me
arrested, you will Hush ~ cried the
young man.
"Oh, mein Got, Help! Roppers
Bolische p yelled the Dntscher.
Then the state room door was burst
open, and in poured the excited pass
engers, who, hearing the terrible cries
Of the affrighted German, had at once
jumped to the conclusion that a party
of Bradenburg pirates had boarded
the boat, and were cutting the throats
Of the sleeping travellers.
The young man, in attempting to
carry out his practical joke, had by |
mistake stepped from the cabin into |
a state room next the one be and his
friend occupied, and in his search for
the watch and pocket book he had |
aroused corpulent gentleman from
over the Rhine, nearly Tightening him
into fits.
The supposed robber was immedi-
ately seized by the passengers, and
the frightened German was with Diff
Guilty pacifed. In the meantime the
friend Of the unfortunate young man
came up and attempted to explain the
situation, but with little success, and
it was only by getting on the good
side Of the German gentleman that
the two friends succeeded in clearing
themselves. They arrived in Cincin-
natl in the morning, and, having con-
solod the injured party, were allowed
togo their way without being arrested.