The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1869-11-25
Moo YORK, Nov. Q, 1862.

Retrospex may be profta5e G, bat
when yoo cast your plercln eye back
and onto time when yoo made a Gus
sid ass nv yourself, they are far from
bein pleasant. am doin that thing at
this present moment. Wunst agin a
forchoon hez been within my grasp, and
wunst agin hev | permitted it to slip
from me! Iieot! Fool! Loonatic.
arrived in this city two days before
the recent eleckshun, feelin that where
votes waz in sich demand there must
be suthin TO be made for me. By in
quiry / found where the headquarters
NV the Democratic General Committee
for the city wuz located, and at about
10 A. NJ, wich means in the mornin,l
went there intendin to offer myself ez
man NV .all work -'for the two days
succeedin. found there a vast crowd
Nv mon, who were all Nv EN- like melin
some respects, varyin nv course in
many pints, but all Nv thelsame species.
The chairman NV the committee was
distributin funds to EN- to be yoosed,
and they waz wakin up to get in
structions in sort Nv procession.
Noticin that the biznis wuz bein done
loosely, dropped into the procession,
and shoor enuff the man distribatin
handed me package, sayin Terence,
be shoor 700 git EN- all up from the ship
Barney McShane will give yez the
papers for EN-, and tell yez what names
to vote EN- under!"
He he'd mistook me for Terence
somebody. Shood undeceeve him ?
Never! So, slippin The package into
my'pocket, | answered, assoomlnl the
Irish brogue:
"Arrah, musha, be jabers my jewel,
Pm the bye"
9Fortunitly wuz crowded out before
/ he'd time to air much more Irish l
wuzn't success ez talkin Irishman.
At the foot NV the stairs | opened my
package. 1t wuz greenbax! "This
money" / sed to myself, "wuz given
me to further the coz Nv Dimocrisy /;
for that purpose I'll use it. I'll start
grocery" And forthwith that day.
leased room in Dem mocratic locality,
purchased counter, barl Of W hisky,
a dozen tumblers, a lithograph portrate
NV Gineral Jackson and Gov. Hoffman,
and wuz all ready for bizness. the
mornin NV eleckshun.
There wuz rush the moment | took
the shutters down, and took in money
faster than ever had before in my life
cat last" sed to myself, exultingly,
"at last hev found my speer Nasty
yoor in luck. I'll drink to my luck. y
And l took a nip. Skasely wuz il
down before a ward politishun cum in
with three or four voters, which ne
wuz a takin care NV. They drank, the
leeder of the party askin me to jine EN-
wich | did Ez they went out | Good
ent avoid drinkin to the success nv the
ticket; then to the confooshen Nv Hor
ris Greeley, then to the memry OF James
Bookanan, then to the memory O.
franklin Pierce; then to jeff Davis
and by this time found myself outside
of the bar, into the middle Nv the room
in a confoosed state of mind and body
In short, wuz very drunk. Moo YorI
whisky aint like the Kentucky article
At tins critikel moment man en-
tered hurriedly, and seein me leani
agin the wall, went behind the bar AM
helped himself Seein him behind tn
bar | forgot that | wuz the landlor'
myself. Iknowd / wuz in grosery-
that bein whore am most Nv the tim
but in my intoxication forgot tha
I was landlord, and the misable wretcI
behind the bar, cOmprehendn the stu
ashen, let me 60 on in my delooshen
Staggerin up to the bar sed, "set en-
up agiu," wich he did and drank sol
emnIy to the memory NV George IL
Pendleton and the other dead Democ
racy Nv my own whisky, and then, lik
the loonatic wuz, | paid for il out a
my own poCkit, and | kept paying fc
whisky for others or long ez | he'd
dollar! The man behind the bar, the
asked me to drink wioh did, then
asked a crowd NV fellows wich come
to drink with me, telling the new ba
keeper to charge 1t, wlch he said b
wood, latin uproariously.
Its astonishin how strong habit is
The moment found | he'd credit,
commenst' improvin NV it, "Set eI
up!" | shreekt eE each new squa
come in, ''set EN- up and the alaorit
with which they drank wuz wonde rfu
The news got out that in SIGH a plaC
there wuz lOonatic treatin everybod
who came in, and perfect streaI
rushed in.
remember but very little NV WI
occurred | Irecolect distinctly Nv voti
three or four times, and Nv returni
each time to my place and treatin
crowd ,tellin the bar-keeper to charge
remember wunst feelin bad for hin
and sayin confdentially to man wh
wuz takin suthin with me, that III
house wouldn't last long ef 1t coutiI
yood to give credit missellaneously, 70
gettin in my drunkenness that it WI
my whisky wuz drinkin and given
others to drink all the time
needn't contiuyoo this confessio
Suffice It to say, that the next mornin
awoke in that Identical room chile
completely thru, There wuz no whisl
in the barrel, not enuf for my NOR
ms nip, and | hedn't cent in n