Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1869-06-18
A lilo wcn stuck To
BY HENRY WARD BEEcHER.

In the nursery timcof our life, lie
OF small magnitude were called ste
res, and we have sadly learned sine
that stories are very often lies; and
Erotesque story an odd or funn
one--is destined, If one may say 81
TO short immortality.
Many stories that have been wall
ing up and down the earth since th
flood are told to-day of living publ
men, as undoubtei and veritable hi:
tory. Many standing jokes arc trat
able to the middle ages, they reap
pear in Roman history, and may b
found again In old Greek anthologies
and probably the Greeks borrowed
them from yet Older people, and the.
from antideIuvians. II adds to TIT
relish of the primitive Joe Millers t.
hear them recited by some innocen
friend, with guarantee, 81 know
that this story is true, for it happened
to Deacon Blossom in my nativetow
and was present!' And here arri'
ses very curious question, which
Prof. Porter, in his recent admirable
treatise on Mental Philosophy, seems
to have investigated in a manner not
worthy Of his usual thoroughness-
the question we mean-whether q
man can remember thing that new.
er happened to him?
At frst sight, any one will say Inc
can not. But such a Judgment will
force great many good men and wo.
men into the gulf of f5s. Either
people can distinctly remember what
never happened to them, or else the
standard and staple jokers of society
are sustained by false witnesses.
We draw back from such an un.
charitable construction, and avow
our belief that under peculiar condi-
tons man may remember distinct
ly, not only what never happened to
him, but things that never happened
at oil
A case in our own history shall il
lustrate this matter. Some eighteen
or nineteen years ago, soon after our
coming to BROOKLYN, we heard the
following story told of the now ven
cradle DR.. Cox, the father of many
brilliant sayings, as well rs of Bish-
op Cox, of Western New York. The
story ran thus: zone Sunday morn
ing in August, DR.. Cox, rising to the
sermon, without waiting to prefix,
began, 1T is id hot Looking
around in calm and pious way, he
wiped his forehead, and again said,
TT is ID hot Waiting until the
word had burnt i'm, he proceeded,
These words, my brethren, I heard
from the lips of profane man as /
entered the doors OF the church.
Thereupon he proceeded to give an
edifyiug discourse on the sin and fol-
ly of profane swearing"
When we first heard It we recog-
nized the story, it was an old ac-
quaintance. 1t had been doing SER
vice in England. 1t was told of Rev.
Rowland Hill, only in his case
the topic was not the weather, but
the theatre, OH which the young
mans profanity was expended. But
stock stories, like eourier's, like to
change horses. Before we knew 1t
the saddle was shifted to our back,
nor have we been able to shake it off.
We have denied it twice In print,
many times by letter, and a hundred
times in conversation, but all in
vain. The saddle sticks and every
month we find a new fool riding it.
1t turns up i'm news papers periodic
ally. 1t runs the rounds of neigh
borhoods. Seine people are delight
ed with the smartness OF it, and
"would walk fifty miles to hear that
man preach !" and others are shock
ed at such impiety, and mournfully
shaking their heads declare that it
would be breaking Sunday to hear
such man preach"
The story was sent us from Eng
land, name and all. We saw 1t in a
California paper. 1t has been trav-
cling and swearing in France and
Germany-though we don't under
stand profane word in either Ian
guage, and If the Yankee Chinaman,
Mr.. Burlingame, would only tell the
truth, we believe that he has seen
the very story, my name and all,
cooked up and grinning in those ce-
iestial kieroglyphics which adorn
tea chests and Chinese pictures. In
deed, it is like to be the chief memo
rial of our life. We are informed
that in outermost places, on hearing
our name, men say, "Ah, yes, We
know himI That's the man that said
It's id hot'"
What is to be done? Here is u
mild, well behaving minister, with a
story fixed ON him that he can not
nor cut, nor unite, nor rub
off, Alas! is this the punishment of
some of our boyish freaks of mis-
chief? We fear. Once, when an
noyed by neighbours flock of geese,
we fed them with corn, to certain
kernels of which short strings were
teied with bits of paper attached.
When q grain was swallowed, the pa
Der, with each movement of the
goose, bobbed up behind him. In a
Few minutes the flock were racing,
md flying and squawking, each with
his paper whirling close behind him.
Il this story wizzing behind US in a
ike manner, and for punishment?
1t is not, however, the story that
,ffiicts US. It Is the pious afliiction
# good people, who, every year or
,wo, have q fit of correspondence
,eme over them, and ply us with let
ers of inquiry or grief, of holy in
of exhortation and in
One of these periods
GEMS just setting in now. Here is
. letter come to hand yesterday, CIV
ng the story in full, with assurances
hat the dear writer does not believe
ne word of it, ard has so expressed
ierself vehemently, but in vain, to a
arge sewing circle! Would / be will
ing todeny 1t in the Ledger, &c.
Denying one of these stories is
Ike fighting Canada thistles. Ifyou
:ut them up ten more will sprout
rom each rant aud if Won let than, |