The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1869-03-11

II sCs "vcus LII 8oS On e0ae
velocipcds Tomorrow morussx and
aoandon you - sure - my nasns =
WAkins. III don't hang me-
= Fisoe q Yankee Strasesy.
il Atths hattls ~ Rappahsanosk a.
don. aftss ths Fifth Maias M e>i.ea
posssssion ofths works in tbei, app.e
ana were taking ! whols bsisnuk ie
sohnniss = The ssar. Csa l11or6H
Who was one oftho flrst . s,eaA ~
rine- pits. took INV men ftnm Co.
ny z and pressed o. In quest q 80.
sn. supposlng soms might b t,,t.~ !.
sst away in the darkness of the .i-h,
Relieving the line offbrtilicatioas dow.
toward the river. he saw bsfor, hin, .
long line Of troops in the ylne-nit.
Finding that hs was In tIaht nr
he determined to put ON = hold
face. '~
Where 10 the officer In command, os
these trooper" demanded tho e,ll.n,
Colonel.
"Here!" answered . Colonel. who
was commanding rebel brigade: land
who are you, sir9''
My name is Colonel Edwnrth, of III.
F'hh Maine, and l demand you to sur.
render Your company"
, II will confer with my osI,cer, n,t."
replied the rebel officer.
NOT moment will I allow. sar."
sau Colonel Edwards. "Don't vo. ..>
my columns advancingc (poiu,inr to .
large body Of men marching over thu
h'l'' but who were the rebel prisoner.
being marched to the rear. Your fore.
cs on the right have all been captured
al" your retreat is cut OF" aud a. the
reoel commander hesitatcd, h. contia-
ued: Forward! Fifth Maine and
Twcnty-first New York."
~ surrender, sir" said the rebel conf
m'nder, quickly. "WiIl you allow me
the courtesy of retaining u sword that
has never been dishonored?"
Yes, sir, replied Colonel Edwards.
but will take tho SWORDS Of those
officers, pointing to the colonols by his
side.
"They were handed to him.
! Now, order your men to lay down
their arms, and pass to the rear with thi,
guard
! lhey obeyed, and whole brigade Of
Louisianians, tho famous Fifth and
sixth among them, permitted them.
selves to he disarmed, and marched to
the rear as prisoners Of war, by Colonel
Edwards and les. than dozen men Of
, his regiment.
\ fellow VIII" has been shaved in
China says that the barber first .troppsd
the razor on his leg, and then did the
shaving without any lather. The Gus.
toner demonstrated, but was told that
'ather was entirely useless. and had .
tendency to make the hair stiff and
tough, and was therefore never used By
persons who had any knowledge Of the
face and its appendages. After the
beard had been taken of-and 1t was
done in very short time-the barber
took long, sharp, needle-shaped spoon,
aud began to explore his customsr,s
ears. lie brought up from numerous
little crevices, bits Of wax aud dirt that
had been accumuiating since his child
hood. The barber suddenly twisted his
subjects neck to one side in such Q
manner that it cracked as il the vsrts-
bre had been dislocated. Hold on!"
shouted the party, alarmed for the safe
ty of his neck. "All right" replied the
tonsor. "me no hurt YOU" and he con-
tinued to jerk aud twist the neck until
1t was Timber rs an old dish rag. He
then fell to beating the back, breast,
arms, and sides, with his fists, and
pummellcd the muscles until they fairly
giowed with the beating they had rs-
ceiyed. He then dashed bucket Of
cold water over his man. dried the skin
with towels, and declared that his work
was done. Price two cents.
A country landlord, near Dubuque,
wishing to give an elegant entertain
n,ent at his house, sent to neighbor.
ing city for two dozen boxes of sardinss,
which he was infored was tho chief del
icacy in the market. His chirography,
however, was SO bad as to make the
order read, 1.-TWO dozen boxes syringes."
The night OF the party came, and, .
supper time drew near. the landlord
looked anxiously down the street for the
appearance Of the stage which was 70
bring the principal dish on the bill. At
last it arrived, and with . package for
the expectant landlord. Directly there
was great outcry, and sound Of curs-
ing in the bar room. The entire party
rushed out to see what was the matter,
and there stood Bonitice pulling aud
blowing with rage. "See there sent
to Dubuque for two dozen boxes Of sar-
dimes for supper to night, and the Gus
sed fools sent twenty-three boxes Of
them pewter squirt-guns. and says that's
all there was in the market"
Mr.. Smith, the hogs are getting into
your cornieiG Never mind, Billy,
I'm sleepy. Corn amt u going 10 hurt
! 'em.
You and your wife should b ons,'