The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-10-01

ne toOK the 10D on my nandS. In an en-
counter with stranger, not in the bill OF
fare, had lost my scalp. Another stran-
ger, by the name of Thompson, left me a
mere wreck and ruin of chaotic rags
Buffalo Express.
Matrimonial Advertising.
A LADY, who had no idea of looking for
husband, but with large proclivities for
mischief and for fun, put matrimonial
advertisement in the New York Herald,
with directions for answers to be sent 10
certain signature at the Broadway post
office. AS the advertisement appealed to
the practical appreciation, by assuming
neat little fortune, in addition to an agree
able person, the seed of such temptation
could not well fall idly upon such fertile
bottom as is offered by the city of New
York. On the first day that succeeded the
advertisement the lady received seventeen
replies; on the second day thirty-two; and
on the third, seyenty-two, an extent and
ardor of appreciation for her vaguely de-
scribed personal attractions, which even
she was not prepared to expect.
Bewildered by the warm volume of ado
ration and entreaty which issued from this
hymenia magazine, the lady called to her
aid five ladies as mischievous as herself
One pair of hands and one mind were, of
course, quite unequal to the task of an
swering all, so the billet-doux were divided
equally among them, and each was to
make an appointment with writer's on the
following Satu day afternoon, at four
o'clock, on the lower side of the upstairs
saloon Of certain popular restaurant in
Broadway. Each of the ladies', moreover,
who took the task in charge, chose a diff
ferent colored paper for replies Finally
it was agreed that the whole six should be
present at the interview, and that each
should wear the exact costume prescribed
for thesinamorata whom the signing SWANS
would be there to see On the other hand,
the gentlemen were directed to appear in
all the varieties of attire and position
which female ingenuity and mischief could
devise. One was requested to wear blue
coat with brass buttons; another to have
his hair parted in the middle; one was to
be eating plate of pork and beans, which,
said the ingenious writer who dictated it,
"you can scarcely expect will be called for
by anybody else" Others were to be
partaking of various dishes, or to place
themselves in such pastures as were di-
rected by the writer.
At four o'clock on the prescribed Sat-
urday afternoon, every chair at every
table on the lower side of the upstairs
saloon was, filled with sleek looking and
highly'perfumed Lcanders, all gazing Into
each others faces, and each secretly ours
ing the luck which wedged him so closely
out of the killing position and displays
which he had been meditating ever since
he got his note And how the dishes
smoked, and the wondering walters few
Even the perplexed landlord, amazed at
this miraculous f1UG of business, was
obliged to drop his own mutton chop, and
call out the entire force of his establish
ment to meet the clamorous if not threat
ening demands of gentlemen who feared
| they might not get their telegraphing
plates of duck or mess of pork and beans
in time. AT length the clash ofsheen and
kick of stiff skirts was heard coming up
the stairs one minute after the hour, and
an inamorata appeared, dressed in dark
green, with deep fur cape and abundant
dropping lace. She was wafered on the
back of the head with an infnitesimal
bonnet, and carried in her hand the
magic rift of cambria, whose Shaksperean
strawberries intimated that she was She
When she appeared the sensation was uni
versal the gentleman with the buff vest
threw open his coat to- the extreme; the
! gentleman in the blue and the bright but
tons buttoned his coat entirely to the
chin; the gentleman who was to lean
backward commenced fitting like Chi
nese mandarin; the gentleman with the
pork and beans became vOciferous for more
beans; while the others, who had duck,
etc, were equally clamorous in complaint
inor of tha r,n1na tho,r No..
Never was there such a clamor heard in
that usually well regulated upstairs saloon
before, and, by the by, never subsidized
more suddenly than when new brush of
skirts was heard coming up the stairs. All
! the Lotharios were once more in position,
when 10 /! another Cordelia, i'm all respects
the reflex of the first, appeared, bearing
the film of strawberries as challenge in
her hand, sweeping with it like Juno to
a seat near the location of the first 1t is
needless to say that the sensation was
now extreme. Some of the gentlemen
who were to part their hair in the middle
| began, however, to look furiously at gen
tlemen who had their hair parted in the
same way, as much as to say, swell, there
is one for each of us, anyhow But most
! of the party seemed more troubled than
before. A pause of some minutes sue
ceeded before any new "appearance"
| took place, during which time the Lotha-
rios were engaged in displaying their
points to the best advantage; and some,
more ardent than the rest, pulled out the
various colored notes they had received,
and either pretended to read them or laid
them conspicuously on the table. Z" There's
one of my fellows with the blue note !"
said mystery No. 1, over her spoonful of
soup, to mystery No. 2. "Thcrc's one of
NINE" said Cordelia the second: "he's
got pink note" "What do you think of
Augustus there, with the pork and beans,
who is so pensively leaning his cheek
upon his handy" said myth the first; but
before the answer could be given,
apparitions three. and four appeared,
and hard upon their heels, came five
and six. There was now perfect
CONSERVATION on the lower side of the up
stairs saloon of the fashionable restaurant
in Broadway The man of tilt fell. back
ward and was shot under the table, there
was a general feeling after hats, and a
gathering up of loose handkerchiefs and
canes. All at once, after one Of those
short sudden panics, which convey electric
knowledge to the human mind, a general
stampede took place, and the whole party,
with more or less dignity-according to
the natures and shapes they had assumed
made for the stairs and descended out of
sight. 1t was several minutes before they
could hand in their checks and pay their
score, and during this time the mischieyous
bevy, with strawberry marked handker-
chiefs, took full pay for their trouble in
the hearty laugh which they INDUCED in at
the ludicrous tableau and exodus they had
just beheld, on the part of the gentlemen
who were SO sharp after the "snug little
fortune" and whose motives were entirely
confined to the object of getting "con-
genial partner, with whom they could
quietly settle down in life"
On recent Sunday, prominent citi-
zen of Buffalo in attendance at st. Paul's