Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1869-07-31
rHR JERusALEM rRAyRLRR.

THE JERUsALEM TRAVELLER.
Jesh Bniisss ON tho Louse, or Vice Versa:
1t is not the most deliteful task tew
writet he history ov the Louise. There
liz emmy quantity ov thorobred folks who
would kousider it a contaminashnu, az
black az patent leather, to say louise, or
think louise, but o louise is q fackt, anu
aul fackts are never more at home, nor
more unwillin to move, than when they.
Git into the head. The louise IL one oy
the gems ov antiquity. They arc worn
in the hair, and are moro ornamental
than useful.
Not having emmy encyclopedia from
which tsw sponge mi informashun, and
then pass it oph for my. own creashun,
shall be forced, while talking about the
louise, "tew fight it out on the line or
o~bseryashun /; and when mi knowledge
and experience gives out, ! shall tap mi
imaginashun, ov witch i have q crude
supply. -n.-.
It makes a man stick out with other
folks ~opinyuns, aud il a good thing ta
make the vulgar roll up the whites Q
their eyes, aud wonder how emmy man
could ever kuo so mulch wisdom.
Schooling, when I wuz a colt, didn't
lie around so loose OF it duz now, and
learning waz picked up oftener b., run
ming yure head against a stun wall tnan
by emmy other kind Of miueralogy.
Ihare studied botany all day in o nat
meadow, pulling cowslips for greens,
and then classified them, by picking
them over and getting them reddy LOT
the pot. -,
All the astronomy / ever got i larnt in
spearing suckers by moonlite, and mi
geology eliminated at the further enc
Of a Woodehuck's hole, espeshily IL l
got the w%oodchuck.
Az for moral philosophy and rhet-
oric, If it il the science or hooking
green apples and watermelons 30 years
ago, and being awful sorry for 1t now,
i am up head in that class.
But all this IL remote from the lonss.
The louise IL q familiar animal, very
~sedentary 10 hiz habits, not apt tew GIT
lost. They kan be cultivated without
the aid Of a guide book, and with hall
q chance to multiply and thicken az
much az pimples on the nose.
There is no ground so fruitful for the
full development ov this little domes-
tick collateral az a district school
house, and while the young idea IL
breaking its shell, aud playing hide and
60 seek on the inside Of the dear
urchiu's skull, the louise IL playing tag
on the outside, and quite often gets
on to the school nom.
have alwus had a high venersshun
for tho louise, not bekoz | konsider
them az emmy evidence Of genius, OF
even n~eatuess, but becoz they remind
me ov my boyhood innocence, the daze
away back in the alfabet ov memory,
when I sot on the fat side Of slab bench
and spelt ont old Webster with one hand
and stirred the top ov my head with the
other.
Philosophically handled, the louise
are gregarious, and were q complete
success at one time in Egypt Bible his
torians don't hesitate to say that they
were aul the rage at the time the whole
crust ov the earth simmered and billed
with them like a pot of steaming fas
seed ; tina were o drug in the market.
But this waz moro louise than waz ne
cessary or pleasant, and waz o punish.
meut for sum sin, and amt spoke ov az
q matter to brag on.
The louise are we'll enuff IN their
place, and for the sake ov variety, per-
haps q few ov them are just az good M
more would be.
They were designed for some wize
purpose, aud for that very reason are
respectable.
When lin the laps Of time) it Gums
tew be revealed to US that q single
louise, chewing away on the summit o!
Daniel Webster's head, when be wal
O little school. boy, waz the telegraphick
tutch tew the wire that bust tho tus,
idee in biz brain, we shall see wisdom
in the louise, and shan't stick up oui
nose until We turn a back summersett,
at these venerable soldiers in the grand
army ov progression.
After we have reached years oy dis
crstion, and have got our edukashun,
and our karakters have got done devel'
oping, and we begin tew hold ofiis,
and are elekted %justiss ov the peace fol
instance, and don't seem tew need emmy
more louise to stir us up, 1t IL time enuf
then to be sassy to them.
Az for me, there il only q piece
thus far) ov vital creation that ak!u.
ally hat and that il a bedbugg. ]
simply dispize snaiks, fear musketoze,
avoid fsas, don't associate with the
c%ockroach, 60 around toads, back out
square for . hornet.
Nevertheless, moreover, to wit, i must
say, even at this day Of refinement, and
bell letters, / do aktualIy lur to stand
on tip.toe and see q romping, red
checked, blsw.eyed boy, chased up
stairs and then down stairs, and then
out in the garden, and finally caught
and throwed, and held firmly between
his mothers kneez, and see an old,
warped, f%ine.toothed horn comb 60 aud
come, half buried through q food oy
lawless hair, and drag each trip to the
light a fat and lively louse-and, in
conclusion, to hear him pop as mother
pins him with her thumb nail fast tew
the center ov the comb, fills mo chuck
up to the brim with something, | don't
know what the feeling IL; perhaps sum
boldly out oy a job can tell me.
--~--
Co., -- u- - 0,r.