Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1869-04-14
What a Little Boy Thought about
Things.
BY JOHN PAUL.

l am 4 little boy about so MANY
years old l don't know whether /
am good little boy, but Pm afraid
not, for sometimes do wicked things,
and once 1 cut sisters kittens tail
OF with the ehopping knife, and told
her big dog came along and bit it
off, and swallowed it down before
kitty could say Jack Robinson, and
| sister said she was sorry, and it must
nave been very naughty dog but
| mother did not believe me, and said
| she was afraid had told lie, and
I'm afraid l had. So then she asked
me If L knew where liars went to,
and L said yes-that they went to
| New York and wrote for the news
papers she said no-but lake of
| ire and birthstone; and she asked
me If l would like TO go there, and /
said no, didn't think there would
| lake, and the boys couldn't snow ball
| either on shore, and she said it was
more than that, just as though that
wasn't bad enough, for don't think
they can play base ball nuther.
Then she asked me if wouldn't like
to be an angel and have harp, and
L said no, I'd rather be stage-driv-
er, and have a big drum, for 1
couldn't play on t'other thing. So i
shouldn't like to be an angel for their
wings must be in the way when they
go swimming, and play tag and leap
| frog, and besides it must be hard to
| fly when one is not accustomed to it.
! But it would be jolly to be stage
driver and have great long whip
and touch up the leaders, and say
| "g'long there, what are ye dOinf
on ?" / should like that much bet
term flynn and the mother said
there was dreadful stage of sin, and
! Bob hollored and said that hes' guess
ed / was on it ;" and then she whip
ped us and sent us to bed without
any supper, but didn't care for any
supper, for they hadn't nothin' but
bread and butter and tea, and Bob
andi got up and he liftedme in at the
pantry window, aud we got a mince
pie and q whole handful of dough-
nuts, and they thought it was the
| cook that stole 'em, and sent her
away the next day, and Bob said he
was glad of it, for she didn't make
good pies, and the doughnats wasn't
| fried enough, and sometimes / do
| swear, for l said by golly the other
day, and sister heard me, and she
told mother, and mother said / was
a bad boy and would bring her gray
hairs to the grave, and she whipped
me, but 1 don't think it did her gray
hairs any good, and il hurt me, and
when 1 got up stairs l said goff darn
it; but l said it SO she didn't hear
me, and When she asked me if / did
not think | vas very wicked, l said
| was afraid [ was, and was sorry for
it, and wouldn't do so any more and
then she said ! was a good little boy,
| and told me about George Washing
ton, who Cut down the apple tree,
and was caught at it, and said he
did il with his little hatchet, just t as
| though 1 hadn't heard all about it
before, and didn't always think he
was big stupid for cutting wood
when theyhad hired man about the
house, and dullin' his little hatchet,
and besides it would have been d
great deal jollier to let the apple
tree be, so as he could have stole ap-
pies off in the fail. / don't care if
he was the father of his county, he
/ wasn't smart, and / bet you the boys
! in our school would cheat him out of
his eye-teeth swapping jaek-knives,
and l could lick him and hardly try;
and / don't think he was very
healthy, either, for / never see "a
good boy that wasn't always sick
and had the mumps and measles,
and the scarlet fever, and wasn't a
coughing all the while, and hadn't
to take castor oil, and could not eat
cherries, and didn't have 30 have his
head patted till his hair was rubbed
off by everybody that came to his
mothers, and be asked how old he
was, and who died to save sinners,
and what he'd been studying at
school, and how far he'd got, and
lots of other conundrums, and have
to say his catechism ; no, L wouldn't
like to be good little boy; L just as
lief be an angel, and be done with
it; don't think i ever shall be Il
good little boy, and other people
don't think so, too, for l wasn't new
er called a good little boy but once,
and that was when my uncle John
asked me where / stood in nay class,
and | told him it was next to the
head, and he said that was right, and
he gave me quarter, and when he
asked me how many boys were in
the class, and / said there were only
two, myself and a little girl, and
then he wanted me to give him back
his quarter, and L wouldn't, and he
ran alter me and he stumbled over a
chair, and he broke his cane, and
hurt himself, and he's been lame ev-
er since and / am glad of it, for he
isn't my iather, and hasn't any right
to lick me, for 1 got enough of that
at home, and the quarter wasn't a
good one either. l don't like
| Uncle John, and I guess he knows
it, for he says Pm not like any of the
| family, and he says he expects Ill
go to sea and be pirate instead ola
respectable member of society, and
| should not wonder, for I'd rather be
a pirate than a soap boiler like him.
L don't care if he is rich, it's nasty
| business and 1 shan't have to be
pirate either for one can make lots of
money without that; and they are
| always talking to me about being
rich and respectable, and going TO
Congress and being President, and
all that sort of thing, but | don't
want to be President; there Is Lin
coin, he was President, and guess
he's sorry for it now and there's
Andy Johuson,I guess he didn't Ike
it much eitherS and fellow doesn't
have to be respectable to be 9 Con
gresham, for there's John Motifs
sey, and he has got nice curly hair
and nice clothes, and he don't do any
work either. Oil / know how
/ things are done bat there's Bcb
calling, and we're goin' birds -nestln'
for / knew where there's ayailer
birds nest chuck full of eggs. Moth
er says it's cruel, and the birds don't
! like it that l wouldn't like to have
#. my eggs stole if | was = bird and
don't think l should. But amt