The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1869-01-22
TYRANNY OF MARR1ED PEOPLE.
From the London Review.l

We think it was Lamb who made pathetic
complaint against the endearments and ex-
changes OF married couples in his presence.
In his quaint style, the humorist let out that
on such occasions he felt entirely subdued,
awkward and desolate, that he also experienced
sense OF injury and as if there were an indi-
rect attack made upon his pc ace OF mind. We
should say that most persons OF single views
would feel very much as Lamb did under SINH
lar circumstances; but there is another situa-
tion not Of so pronounced kind, in which q
bachelor is often made conscious of certain
social advantages possessed By the married
man.
Even in good circles, visitor may observe a
constant flashing Of signals between the mar
ried guests. It ls perhaps needless to remark
that such messages are confined, where there
is propriety, to wives aud their respective hus-
bands; but, in any case, the fact Of these going
about, combined with the consciousness that
he. of all assembled, has netAing in common
with the notions that prompt them, render the
bachelor, if not for a moment unhappy, at least
impellcd to fall back upon those cynical conso-
lations which have been specially designed for
celbates. He may note that if he addresses q
remark to Mrs. A. who sits next to him, Mr.. A..
at the other end Of the table seems to
have it conducted to him by process Of
sympathy w-4lch we must leave mesmorists or
Mr.. Home to discover. When Mrs. A. replies,
although his attention is due, and indeed is
given, to the conversation Of those in his i'm
mediate neighborhood. You must know that
what you say and what you do will be subject
ed on your departure to dual criticism which
has the dangerous advantages OF being neither
public nor responsible, and which, being he
sum OF two experiences, one male and one fe-
male often possesses DIN accuracy terrible for
the subject of it to contemplate. For instance
supposlng you ere the sole bachelor at a
country house. A few of the mon remain up
to smoke o last cigar, having been almost au-
dlbly cautioned (yoU can either hear or see the
notice) against o7erstaying short leave of
absence.
One by one they disappear, except, perhaps,
ap extra polite or courageous gentleman who
is good enough TO see you suffering from dim
sense OF injury, and remains longer than the
rest; At length he goes, and you are left.
Next morning you may be perfectly certain that
if you were thought worth discussion, you
have been thoroughly weighed. measured and
done for, in that mysterious conclave at which
there are no Witnesses. Ii you only study or
draw out the men little, ten to one you will
get from them what the wives think Of you,
and perhaps even what they have said; for
there are men with clover wives who do not
thoy are proud OF. But the wives-sweet hyp-
ocrites l-conceal their opinion from most,
though if you watch their faces off guard YOU
catch glimpse Of it. Here, without doubt,
the married man has a social power far beyond
the isolated and ''wld ass" independence Of
the bachelor. II has been settled that the
wife selects her husbands friends after mar
riage. She weeds them at her own taste, and
plants others mere in accord with her senti-
ments. And iadeed she does this constantly,
to the end of the chapter; and, as o rule, she is
right in her instincts. Fer woman in this
way acts in q great measure from instinct
aided by the direct knowledge which she ex-
tracts from her husband, and which has been,
perhaps, impaired to him in bursts OF conf
dence never intended for conveyance to her.