Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1869-10-14

of weather. know the man that did II. II"
get him. Now here is the way this stuff ought
TO be written"
I took the manuscript. 1t was SCARED with
orasures and interlncations till its mother
wouldn't have known it, if it had had one. III
now reads as follows:
SPIRIT OF THE TENNESSEE PRESS.
"The inveterate liars of the ''Semi-Weekly
Earthquake" are evidently endeayorng to palm
off upon q noble aud chivarous people another
of their vile and brutal lalsehcods with regard
to that most glorious conception of the nine
teenth century, the Billyhack railroad. The
idea that Buzzrdville was 10 be left OFF at one
side originated in their own fulsome brains-or
rather in the settings which they regard as
brains. They had better swallow this lie, aud
not stop to chew it, either, if they want to save
their abandoned, reptile carcasses the cowbi-
ding they so richly deserve. That ass, Blossom,
of the "Higginsville Thunderbolt and Battle
Cry of Freedom" is down here again, bum
ming his board at the Van Buren.
:" We observe that the besotted backsuard
of the Mud Springs Morning Howl is giving
out. with his usual propensity for lying, that
Van Werter is not elected The heaven-born
mission Of journalism is to disseminate truth
to eradicate error-to educate, refine, and ele-
vate the tone Of public morals and manners
make all men more gentle, more vlrtuouS, more
charitable, and in all ways better and holleI
and happier-and yet this black-hearted vii
liam. this hell-spawned miscreant, prostitutes
his great Office pcrsistently to the dissemina-
tion of falsehood, calumny, vituporation, and
degrading vulgarity. His paper is notorious
" unfit to take in to the peoples homes, and
ought TO be banished to the gambling
and brothols where the mass Of reekins pollu'
ton. which does duty as its editor, lives anc
moves, and has his being.
Blathersvile wants a Nicholson pavement
it wants Jail and poorhouse more. The
idea of pavement in one horse town VIII
two sin-mills aud a blacksmith shop in 1t, anc
that mustard-plastero of newspaper, the ''Dai-
ly Hurrah y Better borrow Of Memphis
where the article is cheap. The crawling in
sect. Buckner, who edits the " llurrah," Is
braying about this pavement business with hi'
customary loud-mouthed imbecility, and i'm
agining that he is talking sense. Such foul
mephitic scum as this verminous Buckner, arC
disgrace to journalism.
"Tbat degraded rufiian, Bascom, Of the "Dy'
ing Shrek for Liberty" fell down and broke
his les yesterday-pity it wasn't his neck
lie SAYS it was" debility, caused by overworb
and anxiety 1t was debility caused by try
ing TO lug six gallons of forty-rod whisKey a
round town wsen his hide is only gauged fol
four. and his anxiety about where he is to bun
another six. lie " tainted from the eXcrtior
of walking too much in the sun" And wei
might he say that-but if he would walk
straight he would get just as far and not have
to walk half as much For years the pure ali
of tliis town has been rendered perIlous by tb'
deadly breath Of this perambulatlng pesticnce
this pulpy bloat, this steaming, animated tanl
of mendacity, gin, and profanity, this Bascom
Perish all such from out the sacred aud maJea
tic mission OF journalism! =!
"Now that is the way 10 writo PoPpery anC
to the point. Mush-and-milk journalism give.
me the fan-tods."
About this time brick came through th'
window with a splntering crash, and gave m'
considerable of jolt in the middle of th'
back. moved out of range-I began to fee
in the way The chief said:
That was the Colonel. likely, I've been ex
pecting him for two days. lie will be W
now, right away"
lie was correct. The Colonel appeared
in the door a moment afterward, with dra
COON revolver in his hand. lie said
Sir, have the honor of addressing th'
white livered poltroon who edits this NANCY
sheet ?"
"You have be seated, sir--be careful o
the chair, one of the legs is gone. believe
have the pleasure of addressing the blatant
black hearted scoundrel, Colonel Blatherskit'
Tecumseh 2"
The same. have little account to SETTLE
with you. Ifyouare at leisure, we will begin.
81 have an article on the Encouraging
Progress of Moral and Intellectual Develop
mcnt in America" to finish, but there is NJ
hurry. Begin"
Both pistols rang out their fierce clamor a
the same instant. The chief lost a lock 0
hair. and the Colonel's bullet ended its caree
in the iieshy part Of my thigh. The ColonelI
left shoulder was clipped little. They free
again. Both missed their men this time, bu
| got my share-a shot ia the arm. AT th'
third fire both gentlemen were wounded slight
ly, and had knucklc Clipped. then saiC
| believed would go out and take walk, a.
this was a private matter, and had delicacy
about participating in it further But bott
gentlemen begged me to keep my sea-, aud as
sured me that | was not in the way. ! hac
thought differently up to this time.
They then talked about the elections ant
the crops for a while, and fell to tying NJ
my wounds. But presently they opened fr'
again with animation, and every shot took ef
fect-but it is proper to remark that FIVE on
Of the six fell to my share. The sixth one NOR
tally wounded the Colonel, who remarked, viii
fine humor, that he would have to say gooC
morning now, as be had business up town
lie then inquired the way to the undertaken
and left. The chief turned to me and said
Il am expecting company to dinner anc
shall have 10 get ready. 1t VIII be favor tc
me if you will read proof aud attend to th'
customers"
| WINGED little at the idea Of attending Z
the customers, but l was too bewildered By
IL ;lnLn ,hnf was still rinrinr In my ear