Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1869-04-16
5osh Billings on the auto,

- -. ~ FTET E-SF ~SAtSs
The mule is half horse and half lack.
ass, and then kums to a full stop, naturr
discovering her mistake. Tha weigh more
according to their hefe than any other krea.
taro, except a crowbars' They kant hear enuy
quicker nor further than the boss, yet their
ears are big enough far snow shoes. You
ken trust them with any one whose life amt
worth any moro than the mules. The only
way TO keep them into a pasture is to turn
them into a medder jining, and lot them iumn
out. Tha are ready for use just as soon Al
they will do to abuse. Tha haint got enpy
friends, and will live ON buckle berry brush.
Tha arc . modern inversion, l don't think
the Bible alludes to them at all. Tha sell
for moro money than other domestic animals.
You kant tell their age by looking into their
mouths emmy moro than you could q Mexican
lannon's. Tha never have no disease that a
good club won't heal. If tina ever die thu
must kan rite to life agin, for I never heard.
emmy body say "ded mule" Tha are like
sum men, very corrupt at harte. I've known
them to DO good mules fes 6 months, just tn
got a chance to kick sum Body. Inever own.
ed one nor never mean to, unless there is a
United States law passed requiring It. The
only reason why they are pashant is because
they are ashamed ov themselves. I have
seen eddikated mules in a SIRIUS. Tha would
kiok and bite tremenjis. Emmy man who is
willing to drive g mule, ought to be exemp
by law from running for tho Legislature. I'ha
arc the strangest creatures on the earth, aud
heaviest according tn their size, I herd tell
Of one who fell oph from the tow path into
tho Fri kanawl and sunk as soon as ho touch.
ed water, but he kept rite on towing the boat
tn the next station breathing through his
ears, which stuck out of the water about 2
feet 6 inches; I didn't sec this did, but an
auctioneer told II it, and 1 nevor knew an
auotioneer to toll or ontruth unless it was
absolutely convenient.
SOUTHERN IRoN.-An Alabama paper
says that NJ. II. Cruikshank, editor of tho
"Alabama Reporter" had the o1e dug from
his own land, last week mado into iron, the
iron into plows, and the plows running before
the close Of the week.
---~--
EW- In Indiana the Democrats have been
reelected in all cases Of resignation to defeat
the XIV amendment. An extra session Of tho
Legislature has been called for April 9th.
Buy a trunk, Pat2' said q dealor. And
what for should I buy q trunki' rejoined Pat.
TO put your clothes in was the reply. 'And
go naked! The devil a bit iv it,
JOSH Billings says: "When young man
amt good for nothing else, I like tew see him
carry a gold.headcd cane. If he can't buy a
cane, let him part his hair in the middle"
II you are a lover, don't love two girls at
once. Love is q good thing, but it is not
like butter, it won't do to have too much on
hand at one time.
IKE's last trick was to throw Mrs. Par,
tington's old gaiter in the alley, and call the
old lady down from the third floor to see ALI.
gator.
ARrEMus Ward was willing to sacrifice all
his wife's relations on the altar of his coun.
try. Grant is willing to ~saorice all his in tho
public Offices at his disposal.
EHE shadow Of . tree made by the moon
was found photographed in water which froxe
during the night, lalely, in Maiue.
HopEs aud cares, anxieties and tears, di.
vide our life.
PERHAPS the best definition of the brink
Of ruin is the brini of the goblet.
A sweet planot-the honey moon.
KEY to the State prison and aims house,
Wits key. s.
WHEN is q lawyer most like q donkeyf
When drawing q conveyance.
N,. Whittier