The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1869-07-24
OrIgInaI Express-lons.

Agreeable mishaps-Popular strains.
Meeting justice-Dining the Bench.
Outdoor nversation-Passing re-
marks. Put up jobs-Auctioneers' la
bors. a motto for fraudulent bank
rupts-"The best way to succeed is to
The portion of a journal which
ought to be, devoted TO perfumery- |
Foreign extracts.
Dressmaker says that the difference |
between a woman and a sailor is
one doubles shaWls. the other capes.
Tight place for any man-stand-
ing in q pair Of boots that pinch.
Gold is unsteady as are also,
some Of those who deal in it most.
The best way is to take time by
the foreleck. Grip deep among the
curls.
In one respect pickpockets are
like tailors-they cut garments in
their regular business.
What part of a ship is good for
youngsters2 The spanker.
What word viii make youI sick if
you leave one of the letters outT
Music.
The difference between a coat of
arms and an arm full Of coats is ap
parent to the most casual observer.
The nets theologians take to chief
ly, are tenets.
Gold dust is the least binding to
the eye of any sort.
New version of an old saw-Alrs
well that ends you well.
HIS A LUNATIC 1--WE know gent
leman who won't go to the Opera be-
cause, as he says, he always gets sing
ing az has ears therel
BYOUR Own SCHooLBoY.-"Panes
and p enalties -Paying for broken WIN
doWs.
STRANGE. With all their pretended
hankering after economy, it's
strange that the Ministers haven't in
troduced a single saUiHg Clause into
the Irish Church Bill
1t is stated that Senator Summer
is busily engaged on a new version oil
an old Eastern tale, which is to be
called alabama; or, The Forty
Thieves
The Mayor of Cork pleads that
having a Cork constitution" he is
often light-headed.
Good luck is simply doing the
right thing in the right way at the
right time. These conditions met, and
the matter Is all right.
Sur geons, physicians, and dentists
are the only classes who are paid fol
putting people In pain.
If a young lady has a Thousand
acres of valuable land, the young meI
arc apt to conclude that there art
sufficient grounds for attchments.
The chap who struck out a patti
for him -self has long been suspected
Of belligerent propensities.
A hotel landlord in California
saves the expenses of a gong by keep
ing dog whose tail he pulls 40
dinner"
The man who got wise by eatin
sage cheese has a brother who pro
poses to become skilful in the fashion
able dances by dieting on hops.
There are some people who seem t
be used very much as are carpets
that Is, they are invariably trodde
upon.
A solicitous parent in this city re
Gently sent his daughter to note
oculist to see if she could be cured {
winking to certain acquaintance sh
is wont to meet on the street.
The question Which wants mos
man or wOman?" was recently di!
eussed in an uptown lyceum assoei;
ton. Nothing definite was settle
except that some of the debatel
wanted brains. A not infrequent II
trinity of both sexes.
Mr.. Glumm confesses to have q
struck for once In his life. I'll
other night in the dark he mistoo
his mucilage bottle for the hair OF
His hair has ever since presented til
appearance of Whalebone; very liB
his wife's cOrsets.
Very few clergymen are so deaf thi
they cannot hear q call from S5O(
and upwards. When 1t is $4,000
more, the hearing becomes partic1
larly keen.
Not long ago, in one of our Ne
England towns, a woman entered
probate Office with four little "hop
fuls." and with a counteanee tn
would do justice to hard days, cor
menced her truly affecting apes
'sPlease. your Honor, my husbaI
died detested, and left four little /
fdel children, and appointed me e
ecutioner, and l pray Your Lordsh
will allow me to execute the deed
A drunken man walking aloi
the street at night with his he
thrown back, looking at the mo
with sovereign contempt. was heaI
TO exelaim: you needn't be so prou
Madame Moon. You are full once
month and l every night"
A French lady, returning frc
Havana carried with her a pref
little negro boy, for whom she We
tenderly cared. One day BamboU
said to his mistress: Papa told I
when l was big L must kill you a
carry him all your money. I'm goi
to kill you, but l sha'n't 20 back
him, for he would take all the mon
away" Bamboula is on his "
home.
A school committeeman writ
1--WE have a school house la
enough to accommodate four humid
pupils four stories high.
you and your wife should
enc" said friendly adviser to a b
pecked husband. "Be OneP exclai
ed henpecked; why, we are ten no
"HoW so 2" She's and I'm O."