Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-08-26
Amusing I'Al'ArraD|,S.

An English clergyman triedto persuade
one OF the black sheep Of his flock to come
to church, on the plea that he had seen his
wife there on the previous Sunday, Il
hope you'll try and come now, james" "
"Wcll, sir, think I'll try, for our Mary
says you're a hell Of i. preacher"
-"William thee knows never call any
body names, but, William, if the Mayor Of
tho city were to come to me and say,
Joshua, want thee to find me the big
gest liar in Philadelphia I would como to
thee and put my hand on thy shoulder and
say to thee, William, the Mayor wants to
sec thee"
The following ode to organ grinders
is going the rounds:
Eternal ii''nc! who sat on seven hills,
hi" with vast conquest and alnbition's lust.
Sent forth lc%i"ns thick az E.sypt's ills,
10 grind opposing nations to the ,l,t t.
And Eulnc still stands, immortal and sublime.
Nor is tl"re city whore yc may not find
Her lG,iOns ,s00, as in the ancient time;
They still go forth. their mission still to gfind'
The following is iiterjs! copy OF {, let
ter sent to a medical getlcman:
'CcrYole obliSe me if yo!u kun un
GENE have a Bad Kowld am Hill in my
Thotan Chess and have lost my Happy
tight"
IA farmer in the remote district Of the
Yorkshire woods recently met Il country
rector who had been two years; on travel.
"Mr. Rector" said the farmer, ''you'vc
been to The Holy Land" hear" 81 have
John, and got back safe, you Sec" "Well :,
l often thout I'd like to hear About that
spot. It's Il fine country lay "Wcll,"
said the rector, II saw Lebanon and Jc-
ruSaem, and the twelve palm trees, and
the wells OF water in the great desert, and
we went across the Jordan, and went up
Mount -." ''EXc1lsc lur inter!uptinS
you, Mr.. Hector, 400. But if it he /. fair
question, how was; turmcts (t,1rllipa) look
i'll" out yondcrl"
A friend Of mine, a clergyman, tried 10
pcn,'1adn m Old scamp Of II fellow to come
70 church, on the plea that he had seen his
wife thrro on the previous: Sunday. 81
hope you'll try and come, now. .1"nlr:s."
"Wcll Sir, Ill Try, for our A[aly says you nc
Il hell of preacher.
An aristocmtic lady in l.alEinghurt,h,
after anxious inquiry ne to what would re-
movo some faint spots from her window
glass, was told that 'clbow grease" was
tho best THING; known. Whcrcupon she
naivrly exclaimed, ooh, I'm so glad TO
have found ont I wonder il they keep it
in Tr"y:"
hr"wd old gentleman once said TO his
daughter: 'En snr", my dear, yon never
marry poor man. Tut ,,n.,nl.r that
the poorest man in the wur!t is one that
has money and nothing else"
GIVING FLAVOR TO GROWING FEI-IT a
gardener of Gand in F,,nrr. has, after
many trials, succeeded in giving any kind
of fruit the flavor he ploasc* vh|cit is still!
on the tree. Taking an apple, for instance,
he prirk' it rather deeply in four or five
places with u needle and tllcu lets it din
for while in q bowl possessing the kind of
flavor he wishes to communicate. After n
few Stills liunid will have penetrated
into the philips; and thi; operation, h.'i,v, re-
pctrI two or three Times. 81; intervals OF
eight or ten days, the appl" is l,l to riprn
on the tree, and will subsequently, 10 found
to have acquired the taste either of straw
hcrsy, cloves, etc., according to the liquid
employed.