The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1869-11-06
THE MINER.
written Tor tue ADV
THE SUSPENSIONIST.

they say. Kicks are abundant for some
sort Of people, whether they say so or not.
Some people are kicked because they deserve
to be kicked they are kicked for their own
good. We can reverse this and say, some
people are kicked when they don't deserve
to be klcked-this is not for their own good.
The persons administering such kicks are
privileged persons /; they are generally pro-
tecIed by a barrier Of greenbacks. Those
who get kicked have no greenbacks. This
defect is sin; more, 1t is, in certain atmoS'
pheres, crime worthy Of punishment. The
SuspensiOnist has no greenbacks, and the
SuspensiOnist has, therefore, been kicked.
He evidently deserved kicking for being
poor. The agent at Hyde Park kicked him
out Of his well-furnished office. TINS gave
the agent at Hyde Park immense salisfac-
ton. 1t is more pleasant to administer than
receive such blessing. Good actions bring
their own reward. The blessing will revert
10 the Obliging agent The newspapers
kicked our rascallY suspensiOniSt-the news
papers will be well rewarded for the noble
action. The coal operator kicked hin. The
blessings following suspension will oYertake
the coal operator in a month or two he will
put those blessings in his pocket, or in his
bank. lie will be rewarded for the kicking
lie administered, IN the second world lie
will be ready for another dose uf suspension
10 the fall. He will be richer by then. The
coal operator is the SuSpensionist'S friend /;
the coal operator, therefore, kicked our suS-
penslOnist for his good. This was chsrita-
Die. From being charitable, the coal opera
tor becomes generouS-he immortaliZeS him
self He says to suspensionst, 60 to work.
It will be all right, I'll raise the wages next
month, if Inv sales are satisfactory, if they
are not satisfactory, | cannot raise the wages.
iii discharge thee if thou dost not interfere
with thy union, or if the union intereres
with me; terms which are sY nonymous, thou
knoWest thou can GO to work in the mean
time, as / said, it will be all right.
Al this msgnanimous offer our ungrateful
suspeDsiOnist gets angry. He bellows out,
III want my wages advanced from the time
start work. | don't want the sales Of coal
to be below a certain figure; they must be
satisfactory" lie puts a forty horse empha-
SIS on "must" "Ths cannot all be, SAYS
our suspensionist's friend, the coal operator
CIhe suspensiOnist has numerous friends,
and they must needs be psrticulaIzed to
avoid ambiguity or coniuson.) 1t shall be
hv -
The wicked snspensionist roars out this
sentence, and he ends il IN profanity there
fore, II cannot be put in full it is hot and
paper is a cOmbustible substance, NJ S. Is
readily destroyed without subjectng them
t1 that danger Of their being destroyed, by
The treacherous process OF spontaneous com
hustion promoted by hot dispute.
1t will be seen that our suspensionist can
be rude to bis friends, when they make him
angry be can swear as well az suspend
This is his privilege. He is not il all things
the very essence Of humility. What PITY
that be is not in possession of more green
backs then other privileges would accrue,
sort Of reaction might take pace. TIE
peripatetiC dealer in coal kicked our suspen-
sionist while he did 50 lie winked the right
eye and laughed out Of the right side Of bis
mouth. There was a customer looking on,
and it was all to be joke to the suspension
ist. 1t was to be no Joke to the customer +;
~ had to pay twelve dollars for ton Of the
coal, that the perips;eJic dealer had paid
three and three-quaIters for before suspen.
sion, and fer which the poor suspeusIDnist,
without gTetnbacks, had received fifty cents
for cutting it and Loading il, in The mines
/ have let you into the secret; the suSpen-
siOnist is a miner, and when he is not sus-
pended he cuts coal. This is a peasast &C.
cupation, it draws blood and forces sweat
Our suspenSionlst saw the perpatetiC deal
eTs point; il was made clear The large
profit was to benefit-not our SuspensiOnist.
who was made to be accountable for the high
price, at which the customer swore like a
rebel soldier, and he kicked the suspension
lSt too on account Of it. lie must have
the coal, and pay all for it that our reasona-
bic peripstetic dealer in coal asked he was
not used to 60 to bed without warm sup
per. he cOnsoled himself with another kick
and went his way, and told his wife at home
that she must not have the new five dollar
bonnet; that he had paid all the spare cash
for coal. The housedame struck red and
vented her fury on the poor suspensionist.
Miss Pricile was TO do without kid CATERS
tuen this young lady-customer's eldest
daughter-Wept, and favored her tears with
qualifying spOstrOphies, directed towards
our suspensionist. This was sad business
IN our suspensonst's eye. He was bewil-
dered among the kicks and accusations. lie
saw the peripatetic coal dealers point, as
have said it was quite clear. All points are
not always made clear to the suSpensonist :;
only such joints are that benefit other pco-
plg; when they are to benefit the suspen-
,ionist they are obscure, Ike the govern
rnent Inspector, they do him no good by be.
ing hidden. will illustrate my point Sup
pose our suspensionist owes some one a do
lar, some one will make this point clear to
suspensionist if some one owes suspension
lst a dollar, said some one will not make this
point clear. My illustrated point touches
many peoples points; but points are points
only they have position hut not magni.
tude.
From kicks we have got to points. Has
the suspensioniSt made his point by suspend
irg He is satisfied that the powers Of sus.
p, nslon lies within him, and if the points
aimed at are not hit in this suspensive in
stance, they may be improved On in the
next. With this idea the suspensionist is
cunciliated. lie chuckles at the thought he
il six thousand horse power Watts expe-
riments proved five strong mcn to equal one
horse. We have reduced to this rule more
foT convenience sake than tina: we wish to
have people suppose our suspensionist to be
d horse. Capitalists have done their best to
turn him into an ass in times past, but be
objects to the metamorphosis. Capitalists
grumble because be wont submit. They tell
The public that il he wont submit be will ex-
tort Then the public cries for the ass
lHey want the OedSt VI DuVueu lucy WaEt
cheap coal they want to be done with sus-
pensonists for ever. Our extOrtionist sus-
pensionIst cuts coal, and the coal cuts him
For this he may extort twenty-five to fifty
I've cents for the ton that he cuts nothing
lor that be does not cut. It passes away
from this extortiOner's hands when it is load 4
ed IN the drift car. 1t passes thence through
the breaker, and the breaker EFFORTS more
than twice as much as the suspensionist did.
Then the railroad-with its iron consc;anco
takes it and EFFORTS twice a. much 49,
as the other extoriioners.
Then again other ektortioners take it. and
rxtort to the best of their ability, SO 9oss
coal, and so goes our suspensionist. with bis
black face, tired carcass, bleeding hands
cut nose, sore head, ragged clothes, muddv
boots. a drink Of water, a crust, a kick. ana