The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1869-11-11
THE JOSH BILLINGS,FAlaERs.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. y.

Q. Who IL the wisest man2
a. lie who korrektS n himself the faults
he discovers in others, and who meazures
hiz wisdum to hiz humility. teff
q. Who IL the handsumest man
A. The man whoze honesty IL hiz looking
glass.
@. Who IL the politest man? satf
A. He who kan lay aside hiz dignity amune
interiors without loseing it, who kan make
elegance mistaken for reverence amung hiz
superiors, and who kan git from hiz equals
more complaisanee than he gives.
Q. Who il the vainest man r.
a. He who kantssee peekok in a barn
yard in full bloom without loseing hiz appe-
tight for dinner
Q. Who IL the meanest man?
a. de who gets hiz luxurys bi peeking
thru holes.
@. Who iz the happiest man
A. tie who knows ov nanny that he haz
made happy, and not ole that he hez made
/ mizerable.
Q. Who il the purest man? fsA
n. lie who would sooner pray for bum
ble-bee who had stung him, than brake up
his nest =
Q Who IL the too generous man 2
a. lie who throws his puss into crowd,
the man who gifts it. calls it good luck, and
they who dont git it. call him phool
O. Who IL tue truest man2 2 - oGc mQ72
A. lie who kan distinguish between our
virtews aud our vices. and while he com.
mends the one, amt afraid tew cvndem the
other. 1
Q. Who il the greediest man trz
a. lie who kaAt see one woman kiss an
other without crying for sum ov it.
Q. Who IL the biggest hypokrit?
A. he who calls vice plezzure and then
trys to make phool Oy himself bi beleaV-s
ing it. ~ s-s.sra
Q Who IL the best philosopher
a. The man who practisses hiz own pre-
cepts, and whoze example proves the truth
ov the precepts.
@. Who IL the best husband .?
a. He whoze love for hiz wife IL the con-
slant esteem which he shows her,
Q. Who il the most butiful woman2
A. She whoze buty every one feels, and
noboddy sees. - a.-s,
Q. Who IL the best housewife
a. The woman who can make the best
hash out of the least meat, and whoze kat
knows that it IL certain death tew tuch the
kream on the milk pans.
O. Who il the most chaste woman 2
a. She whom the angels have whispered
to. t
Q. Who IL the most intelligent woman 2
a, She who knows that her power lies
| GC4liu1 tiIO AlllOASs LOL OLl II.
| Q. Who il the .strongest-minded" wo-
/ man
! Q. She who minds her own bizzness, and
sees to it that her husband minds hiz.
Q. Who IL the lovelyest girl in the vllage2
A. The one who, like the violet, tew he
| found. must be sought after, and when found
! iz more surprized than pIeazei " no IL az
, unconscious ov her buty az a flower, and az
certain ov her innocence aud excellence az y
diamond in its hiding-place. s
/ Q. Who il the most industrious woman2
A. She who hain't got any spare time to
] slander her naboTs. -- a1 7lGa.-
Q. Who IL the most accomplisht Woman2
A. She VINO kan paint pktuis oY singular
buty on the broad and spotless canvass 1ov
her children's soul, and who IL alwus reddys
to play, without asking, lively tune on the
heart ov her husband.
Q. Who is the vainest woman2
A. She hasn't bin born yet.
O Who iz the Doblest brother
A. He who wears the honor of his sister,
not in bis breastpin. but in bis heart.
Q. Who IL the sweetest sister z
A. She who stands proudly in the shaddo
ov her brother.
Q. Who il the dearest old maid 2
A. The girl who. like the last rose oy sum,
mer, ripe with buty, stands waiting tew well
kun the winter.
Q. Who IL the happyest old bachelor
A. The phellow who picks the rose Gust.
mentioned abuY), and puts it IN his buzzual.a
Q. Who IL the lovelyest old aunt2 -
a. The one whoze bank account IL ripe
and luxurious, and who haz made up her
mind not to live alwus. tPaf
Q. Who are the cleverest cousins2
A. He who IL a leetle more bashful than,
a brother, and not quite so much SO as y
] L L L. - 4
than sister and rather more ssssy-than
sweetheart. H4 EEafz-.
Q. Who IL the best skoolmaster
a. He who, like good cook, can make
insipid things taste sweet. : al, y .e-.
Q. Who IL the best judge ov human pstur2
A The man who il the best judge ov him
self. aas
O. Who il the best lawyer s
A. lie who does the least bizzness.
Q. Who iz the richest man2
A. The man who has the best account In
the Kingdom ov Heaven.
@ Who IL the best father 2
| a, lie who kan inspire hiz children with
venerashun and love.
/ @. Who il the best mother
| a. She who gave US birth and nursed our
infancy. a
| @. Who IL the best doktor a,I.F
A. The one who deals with hiz patients
| disseaze. not hiz crednlity, ard whose bill.
/ like the kiss ov child, IL short and sweet
/ Q. Who IL the shrewdest man2 sf-s
A. He who keeps his own sekrets, and,
other peoples too.
| Q. Who il the man ov the most lezzure7
A. Ee who haz repented ov all his own
sins and IL now at work repenting ov his
pahors
@. Who IL the biggest Phool
| A. The man who marrys fur mummy, and
1 fin7s it game that two kan play at-snd
! both looze.
@. Who IL the best minister
A He who. while he pets the lAms ov the
{ flock amt afraid tew be cross few the ewes
and the wethers.