Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-02-03
ISELECTED.
Madam Scandal.

A long time ago, there lived an aged couple,
whose time had passed away, since early
,outh, in the every day-round Of farm life, and
Who were never known to have the least i'll
5eleng towards each other, since the time when
good old Parson Heriot had united them IN
.be holy bonds of wedlOck, twenty-five years
oelore. So well was the fact of their cODjugal
happiness known, that they were spoken OF Tar
and near as the happiest pair IN the world
Now the devil had been trying for twenty years
10 create what is called fuss in the family"
between these old companions. But much to
mis- modification he had not been able to induce
the old gentleman to grumble about breakfast
being too late, or the old woman to give cur
,ain lecture.
After repeated efforts, the devil became dis
couraged, and had he not been person OF
great determination, he would doubtless have
given the work up in despair. One day as he
walked along in a very surly mood, alter
another attempt to get the.old lady to quarrel
about the pigs getting into the yard, he met
Mrs. Scandal au old lady, a neighbOr OF the
aged couple. As Mr. Devil and the neighbor
we're pretty good friends, they must needs
stop on the way and chat little.
Good morning sir, she said, "and pray
What on earth makes you look 80 bad this
morning? Isn't the controversy between all
he churches doing good service -
"Yes."
Isn't Deacon w. making plenty of bad
2hiskey ?'
Yes"
'Well, what's the matter, my highly honor
I'd master?'
Everything is going on well enough, re-
ohed the devil, but old Bueiord and his vile
are ipnring the cause terribly by their bad ex-
ample, and after trying for years TO induce them
10 do right must say | consider them hope
iess"
The hag stood moment in deep thought.
And you are sure you have tried every
Nsy?"
Every way can think of. "
Are you certaiO (?
Yes"
"Wen." she replied, "it you will promise to
make me present of a new pair OF shoes, 10
case | succeed, | will make the attempt my
self and see ii | can raise quarrel between
hem"
To this reasonable request the devil gladly
assented The old hag went to Blueord's
aouse and found Mrs Blueford busily engaged
10 getting things ready for her husbands COM
iort on his return from work. Alter the usual
compliments had passed, the following dialogue
look place:
"Well, friend B., you and Mr.. b. have lived
4 long time together?'
Five and twenty years come next NoVem-
ber" replied Mrs. Il.
And all this time you have never had u
quarrel"
"Not one"
81 am truly glad to hear it, continued the
nag II consider it my duty to warn you,
though this is the case. you must not expect 1t
10 be always. Have you observed that OF late
MIR. B. has grown peevish and sullen at times?"
"A little SO" observed Mrs. Bluetord.
81 knew it, continued the hag; "and let
me warn you to be on your guard.
Mrs. B. did think she had better do so, and
asked advice as to how she should manage the
case.
"Have you not noticed, said the hag, THAT
your husband.ha bunch of long harsh hairs
growing under the chin near his throat
"Yes."
"These are the cause OF the trouble, and as
long as they remain, you had better look out.
Now, as a friend, | would advise you TO cut
them off the first time, you get chance, and
thus end the trouble, aud you had better look
out"
Soon after this the hag started Tor home,
and made lt convenient I'd lnece mi- ID ou Tue
way. Much the same talk in relation TO his
domestic happiness passed between him ana
the old woman.
But, friend Bluetord," ;" said she, Il :hlnk
it my duty as a Christian to warn you to be on
your guard, for tell you your wife intends
your ruin.
Old Mr.. B. was very much astonished, yet
he could not wholly discredit her words.
When he reached home, he threw himself Oh
a bed 10 perpexity, and feigning himself asleep
studied the matter over in his mind. His vile,
thinking this good opportunity to cut on the
obnoxious hair, took her husbands razor and
crept softly to bis side. Now the old lady was
much frightened at holding razor so close to
her husbands neck, and her hand was not so
steady as it was once; so between the two she
went to work very awkwardly, and pulled the
hairs instead OF cutting them off. =,
B. ODened his eves and there stood his wife