The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1869-05-20
Gsieftt0 lflisfellanp.
SOlIum Thoughts.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

THE fear of God il the philosophy ov
religion the Tore ov God liz the charity oV
religion.
Hope iz a hen th.t lays more eggs than
she kan hatch out.
Better leave yure child virtew than mo-
ney: but this IL q sekret known only tew
a few.
honestly beleave it IL better tew know
nothing than tew know what amt so.
About the hardest work phellOw kan
do liz tew spark two gals, at once, and
preserve good average.
A nickname will outlive emmy man or
thing; IL like the crook in dogg's talle,
Won NAV cut it oph, and throw 1t behind
the barn, but the crook is thare yet, and
the stump liz the epitsph.
If YOU analize what most men kali plez-
Zure, you will find it composed oy one
part humbugg, and two parts pain.
When you hain't got nothing tew do, do
it at once this liz the way to learn to be
lazy.
We hav bin told that the best way to
overkum misfortunes liz tew fight with
them-I hav tried both ways, and recon-
mend successful dodge.
The art ov becomeing Ov Importance in
the eyes ov others, is not tew Overrate our
SELF but tew cauAe them tew do 1t.
The true way to understand the Judge
ments ov heaven is to submit to them.
Method liz everything, espeshily tew or
dinary men the few men who kan lift
tun, at pleasure, have a divine right to
take a holt oy il tew disadvantage.
Ths, mind ov vman liz like piece ov land
that, tew be useful, must be manured with
learning, ploughed with energy, sown
with virtew, and harvested with ekOne-
my:
merchandise
Conversashun should be enlivened with
wit, not composed ov it.
The less man knows, the more he will
guess at and guessing Is nothing more
than suspicion.
Going tew law IL like skinning a new
mich COW for the hide and giving the meat
tew the lawyers.
Death, tew most ov us, IL kind ov
fare veil benefit, =" positively our last
appearance"
Phools are quite often like hornets,
very bizzy, but about what, the Lord only
knows.
Living on Hope, IL like living on wind,
tew git phatt.
Jealousy don't pay, the best it kan do,
IL tew discover what we Cont want tew
find, nor don't expekt to.
S.krets are mortgage on friendships.
A vivid imaeinashun IL like sum glasses
makes things at a distant look twice ~
big as they am, and cluss TO, twice az small
az they am.
Hope iz draft on futurity, sumtimes
hOnored, but generally extended.
If the world dispiZls hypokrit, what
must they think ov him in Heaven
Flattery liz ike KolOne water, tew be
smelt ov, not swallowed.
After all. there don't seem tew be but
this difference between tie wise men and
the phools the wise men are all fuss and
sum fathers, while the phools are all fiiss
and no feathers.
Without friends and without enemys liz
the last reliable ackount We hav ov stray
dog
Sum folks wonder WHARF awl the lies
cum from, but don't, one good liar will
I,izen a whole country.
Hunting after fame il like hunting after
f)eas. hard tew ketch, and sure tew make
WI eneazy if yu dew or don't ketch them.
Menny peo lie spend their time trieing
tew find the hole WHARF sin got into this
world-if two men brake through the ice
into mill pond, they had better hunt for
sum good hole tew git out, rather than gil
into long argument about the hole they
cum tew fall in.
Imaginashun, tew mulch INDUCED In
soon ~ tortured into reality; this IL one
way that good hoss thisis are made, man
leans over fence all day, and imagines
the hoss in the lot belongs tew him, and
sure enuff, the first dark night, the hoss
does ~s sfs*s aer
you must chew terbacker, young man
for Heavens sake, chaw old plugg, it il
the nastyest. rsft =
nIaCONsnI ATE huohaI.d &C ..-