The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1869-08-21
Artemus Ward.


We give the following extracts from { Artemus
Wards Panorama ~ n book Just lately published,
containing the lecture which the late Charles r.
Browne delivered in England with such success.
Ii is made up of disconnected sketches OF MS
travels, each sketch being illustrated with a rep
resentation of the particular scene descrloea, Mto on
foot-lights TO show up the picture. The sketches
embrace Views of Mormondom, the Route Across
the Plains. Salt Lake City, the Mormon Iheatre'
Brigham Young's Police, an Encounter with the
Indians. the Prairies on Fire, ETC., with toot-nopes
and explanatory remarks, which ada 10 M III
of the narrative. As our readers are not SO
familiar with the English Lecture as with ms VII
ticisms in this country, we select a lew Oh tne
best
HIS ARTISTIC CAREER.
eel could draw on wood at n very tender age:
When n mere child, | once drew a small cart-loao
of raw turnips over a wooden prldSe. Inc pet-
nile of the village noticed me. L drew their at
tent;on. They said | had a future before me.
Tn tn that time [ had an idea 1t was behind me.
. Time passed ON. 1t always does, by the way.
You NAV possibly have noticed that time always
does. it is n kind of way time has.
81 became a man. L haven't distinguished
myself at all as an artist; but l have always been
more or less mixed with art. l have an uncle
who takes photographs, and L have a servant
who-takes anything he get his hands on.
HIS MUSICAL IDEAS.
az like music. | can't sing. As a singist
T am not n success. | am saddest when L sing.
So are those who hear me. They are sadder even
than | am.
1.-THE other night some silver-voieed young
men came under my window and sang, Come
where nv love lies dreaming L didn't 60. L
didn't think it would be correct. =,
81 found music very soothing when L lay Ill
with fever in Utah and l was very i'll was
fe,rfnllv wasted. NV face was hewn down to
nothing, and my nose was so sharp L didn't dare
TO stick it into other peoples business-for fear
il would stay there and L should never get 1t
AGAIN. And in those dismal days a Mormon
lady-she was married, though not so much SO as
her husband, he had fifteen other wlves-she
used to sing n ballad. commencing, Sweet bird,
do not fy away and L told her l wouldn't. She
PLAYED the accordion divinely-accordionly L
praised her."
THE STEAMER ARIEL"
al went to Calilornia on the steamer Ar7et.
This is the steamer Ariel"
ssOblige me by calmly gazing on the steamer
Ariel; and when you go to California be sure and
20 on some other steamer, because the Ariel isn't
u very good one"
TIE PICTURE OF THE GREAT DESERT.
sThis picture is a great work of art. 1t is
an oil painting done in petroleum. 1t is by the
old masters. 1t was the last thing they did
before diving. They did this and then expired.
.sThe most celebrated artists of London are so
delighted with this picture that they come to the
hall every day to gaze at it. L wish you were
near to it-so YOU could see it better. L wish L
could take it to your residences and let you see 1T
by daylight. Some of the great artists come here
every morning before daylight with lanterns to
it beforehand they hope they never shall
again.
90 When 1 first showed this picture in New
the audience were so enthusiastic in their
admiration of this picture that they called for the
artlst-and when he appeared they threw brick
bats ut him."
BRIGHAM YOUNG.
"Brigham Young has two hundred wives.
Just think of that. Oblige me by thinking of
that. That is-he has eighty actual wives and he
is spiritually married to one hundred and twenty
more. So we may say he has two hundred wives.
lie lives not wisely, but two hundred well. He
is dreadfully married. He's the most married
man | ever saw in my life.
'sI saw his mother-in-law while [ was there.
[ can't exactly tell you how many there is OF her,
but it's a good deal. 1t strikes ne that one
mother-in-law is about enough to have in one
family-unless you're very fond of excitment."
MORMON PRosELYTIsM.
90 l regret to say that efforts were made to
make IA Mormon of me while L was in Utah.
s 1t was Il leap year when L was there, and
young widows, the wives of q deceased
Mormon, offered me their hearts and hands. l
called on them one day, and taking their soft
white hands in mine. which made eighteen hands
L found them IN tears.
And l said why is thus? What is the
reason of this thusness?
They hove a sigh, seventeen signs of different
size. They said
"sOh, soon thou wilt contested away
"I told them that when 1 got ready to leave a
place, l wentested.
. They said Doth not like us?'
81 said L DOTH DOTH
"I also said: Il hope your intentions are
honorable, as 1 am a lone child, my parents
being far away
ssThey then said Wilt thou not marry us p
& said sOh, no! 1t cannot was
"Again they asked me to marry them, and
gain L declined, when they cried out:
"s Oh, cruel man this is too much Oh, too
nuchi'
81 told them that it was on account of the
L declined
BRIGHAM YoUNG's FAMILY.
"The last picture 1 have to show you, repre-
ents Mr.. Brigham Young in the bosom of his
amily. His f:mily is large. and the olive
around his table are in a very tangled
He is more a father than any man L
now. When at home-as you here see him-he
ught to be very happy, with sixty wives to min
ster to his comforts, and twice sixty children to
oothe his distracted mind. All! my friends,
that is home without a family