Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-03-05
Musical COurtshlp -MatrImODy Made
Easy.
ny rmNEAs MAnIooLD, JR.

| HnAll not hltempb 10 h0bWeT tudt VutbbloI
at present. am willing 10 admit, In fact
that "a rose with any other name 1coHd
smell as sweet" If | should inveigh
against the prevailing musical momencla
ture of the present day, / might be asked
by alarmed music publishers "whats In a
titloPn To that question | would answer
much, which | shall endeavor TO prove
| Now, | am an enthusiast in musical mat.
tiers have, indeed, passion for music
especially vocal My laohrymal glands
"many time and off," have responded
! generously 20 the melting strains of " Lo
rena," "Thou hast learned TO love anoth
| err" ct i'll OmHo genus. My enthusiasm in
this respect recently impelled me to write
list of tho most popular songs of this
character, and the result OF my researches
set me thinking, and | natter myself To
some purpose; but Of that let candid
world judge.
1t is melancholy fact that many q man
brimful of "unutterable yearnings" drags
out long weary years OF single wretched
ness merely because he lacks the mora
courage to PROFOUND the awful question
| "wilt thou be mineY" or words to that
effect. OF course the legion of anxious
mammas who have eligible daughters tC
dispose of, have not failed to observe this
|
they should exert all the innocent craft ant
resistIcss arts peculiar to their sex, in ordel
to relieve fainthearted bachelors from thu
necessity of popping the question" II
the old orthodox manner, and still relieve
themselves of some Of their sighinl
eligibles2
Naturally sympathetic, l could not re
gard this embarrassing and unnatura
state Of affairs without feelings Of sincere
pity and commiseration for both parties
! have revolved many plans for relief, but
until lately, never originated one that
regarded as worthy TO be presented FOL
their consideration.
say until lately, for my humane efforts
have at last been crowned with success
and am now prepared to submit plan
the adoption of which will in my humble
opinion, completely revolutionize thG
| whole institution Of modern courtship
increase the number of yearly marriages
at least twenty-five per cent and give an
unprecedented impetus to the music trade
Here, am aware, many splenctic read
ers of this article will question the dis
interestedness of my "etforts," and even
have the hardihood to hint that | am in
heemploy of clique of music publishers,
and q blush to write iD am literally paid
for my sympathy"
Conscious of the rectitude Of my inten.
tions and the purity of my motives,
shall take no notice of such i'll. natured
charges, but pass them by, in silent con
tempt
| Ishall now ondeavor TO explain my plaT
by n simple illustration of Its operation
One of the unhappy class of timid bach
elors above referred to is spending thu
evening" with the object of his silen
worship. | say silent, for the peculiar in
trinity of his disposition has hithert
kept him tongue-tied. Anxious mamma
is aware of the true state of affairs; so
her dutiful daughter. The former ha
urged that affairs he brought to crisis thi
very evening, and II is so decreed.
Gushing Damsel innOcenty proposes this
they examine collection of vocal musi
she has recentlv made. Enamored Swat
gladly assents Gushing Damsel hands hii
, collection of sheet music Carefully a.
ranged), and taking smaller collectio
, herself, the interesting scene, $50 big wit
5 fate" begins.
Gushing Damsel (reading title Of a song
9 "rm lonely to night" (ln a sad, melal
/ choly voice).
! Enamored Swain (also reading from h
l colleotion). "Whyf"
i G. ID. (reads). mo one to love" III
v creased sadness, with addition of sligl
o tremor in voice. A powerful appeal
all the latent sympathies of his nature
NE. S. (reads) why no one to love
(E. 3. here experiences 6. slight choki
sensation In his throat Has 4 vagU
apprehension that something Is going
- happen involving the destruction {
confirmation Of long cherished hopes
q. u. (reads). ASK me not why
Ir (Delightfully confused and iluttering voie
/. followed by gentle slgh.)
/. II s. (reads) "Dost thou ever think
@ me| Os impressed with tho idea tn
II he has at length asked the very que
q tion, he had a thousand times before r
< solved to ask, but-hadnG
!. G ID, (reads). 81 would not have yC
!. know" (Charmingly eyasive and provo
. ingly non-committall
Il. S. (readsl. "Will you come to me
7 meY" (This starts the perspiration,
S. begins to feel homeslck. In fact, he HI
! n strong presentiment that his materD
a parent desires personal interview wit
/. him az thatvery moment)
, q. ID. (reads). "Ill wait at ths gate I,
/ thee" (rhst's sensible, and IT, the point
! L. S. (reads). "Meet me at the twiligl
/. hovr" (How oiten has he longed to NAL
r that very request)
. G. -. (reansl "Be sure you call as "
!, pass by" (What more could he askO
5 L. s (reads). ave something sweet
|, tell" (Renewed perspiration Begins
0 doubt his own identity. Thinks he ms
Q be dreaming. Secretly pinches himseI
!. and responsive nerves assure him Of b
s waketulness)
J. @. ID. Creads). "softly whisper" Uo,
Q tremulous voice, just audible)
]. f. s (reads). "Ah, II Is sweet TO tell
I. (His courage Is not yet considered eQu
z TO the direct avowsl soon 10 be made
s q d (reads) "I'm not the wild creatul
, Is""m " "a touching appeal to his co.
! fidenoe.)
NJ ; treads). Leave me not in dal
s despair" (Which, of course, she hash
h the slightest intention Of doing)
s q. ID (reads) "Oh, say not that m
y heart is dead" "a very reasonable r
s quest, and very suggestive)
s z s (reads) "Oh, who can with thI
: comparei" A burst of admiration orig
s mating from an innocent love Of hattel
y on the part Of the artless "mistress
Q ceremonies,"
!. G. d. (readsl. "oh, whisper what the
Is feelest"
q E.s. (reads). dearest, / love thee
e (The rubicon Is crossed. In homely phral
i he has permitted the feline quadruped
e escape from the enclosing sack
/, q. d. (reads). "Oh, tell me not tn
q early love" Begins 70 feel herself "mi
!, tress of the field" and is disposed TO plS
i. the startled lawn.n)
n q. 5. (resds). "Never deem my 10y
s can change"
, q. ID (reads) "My heart Is like
$ silent lute.'" A most diseouyaging fal
II for an ardent lover 10 contempiate)
& +. s. (reads1, Dearest then, I'll 10y
:, thee more" (under ordinary circuu
o stances, a wild assertion, admirably illl
/. twoti,, !, ~ a tra Attlnpal R,iiv ~ lNvaes