The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1869-07-28
Mark Twaia on the slanese rwi...

The twins always 90 20 bed at the
same time, bnt Chang usually gets up
about an hour before his brother. By
an understanding between themselves,
Chang does all the indoor work and Eng
runs all the errands. This is because
Eng likes to 60 out Chang's habits are
sedentary. However, Chang is a Roman
Catholic; still to please his brother,
Chang consented to be baptised at the
same time that Eng was, on condition
that it should not "count." During the
war they were strong partisans; and
fought gallantly all through the great
struggle-Eng on the Unien side and
Chang on the the Confederate. They
took each other prisoner at Seven Oaks,
but the proof of capture was so evenly
balanced in favor of each that general
army court had to be assembled to de-
termine properly which was the captor
and which the captive. The jury was
unable TO agree for long time; but the
vexed question was at length settled by
agreeing to consider them as both pris
oners and then exchange thep.
The ancient habit of going always
together had its draw backs when they
reached mans estate and entered upon
the luxury of courting. Both fell IN
love with the sane girl. Each tried 70
steal clandestine interviews with her,
but at the critical moment the other
would always turn up. By any by Eng
saw, with distraction, that Chang had
won the girls affections, and from that
day forth, he had to bear with the
agony of being witness to all their
dainty billings and cooings. But with
a magnanimity that did him infinite
credit, he succumbed to his fate, and
gave countenance and encouragement
to state Of things that bade fair to
sunder his gene rous heart-strings. He
sat from seven every evening until two
in the morning listening to the fond
foolishness of the two lovers, and to
the conclusion of hundreds of squan-
dered ksses-for the privilege of shar-
ing only one of which be would have
given his right hand. But he sat pa
tiently and waited, and sgaped, aud
yawned, and stretched, and longed for
two o'clock to come. And he took long
walks with the lovers on moonlight
evenings sometimes traversing ten
miles, Notwithstanding he was usually
suffering from rheumatism. He is an
inveterate smoker; but he could not
smoke on these occasions, because the
young lady was painfully sensitive of
the smell of tobacco. Eng cordially
wanted them married, and done with it;
but, although Chang often asked the
momentous question, the young lady
could not gather sufficient courage to
answer it while Eng was by. However,
on one occasion, after having walked
some sixteen miles, and sat up till
nearly daylight, Eng dropped asleep,
from sheer exhaustion, and then the
question was asked and answered. The
lovers were married. All acquainted
with the circumstances applauGed the
noble brother-in law.
Chang belong to the Good Templars,
and is hard working and enthusiastic
supporter of all temperance reforms.
But TO his bitter distress, every now
and then Eng gets drunk, and of course
that makes Chang drunk too. This un
fortunate thing has been great sorrow
to Chang, for it almost destroys his
usefulness in his favorite field of effort,
As sure as he is to head a great temper
ance procession, Eng ranges up along
side of him, prompt to the minute and
drunk as lord; but yet no more dismal
ly drunk than his brother who has not
tasted drop. And so the two begin to
heot and yell, and throw bricks and
mud at the Good Templars; and, of
course, they broke up the procession. 1t
would be manifestly wrong to punish
Chang for what Eng does, and, there
fore, the Good Templars accept the un-
toward situation, and suffer in silence
the sorrow. They have officially and
deliberately examined into the matter,
and find Chang blameless. They have
taken the two brothers and filled Chang
full of warm water and sugar and Eng
full of whisky, and in twenty minutes
it was not possible to tell which was
the dIunkest.