The States and Union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1868-1872, 1869-09-08
! How. We 'tBroke Him In.
BY JUDGE CLARK.


the beginning of term, and jollier
set, or one fuller Of mischief, you never
saw. There wasn't a. "slow boy or
"faculty pet" in the crowd. The only
outsider present. was harmless look
ing, countrified old gent, in newspaper
and specks, before whom we felt it
was quite safe to talk, and even to dis
cuss college secrets, without reserve.
"I failed to take prize last session,
you know, boys" began Wash. Pur-
,dy..
There was no disputing the fact.
'.1n revenge" he continued, 81 have
spent most of the vacation in getting
up and perfecting classical prize CON
undrum, which 1 have had no oppor-
tunity, as yet, of putting to the:test of
experiment.
"Try it on! out with it !" exclaim-
cd half a dozen voices.
"Why is old Quercus, with his ar
tificid lblinker, like nnf. Dodd, the
celebrated forger p
"Because he's queer cuss," put in
Bill Silver, always ready with wrong
answer.
.Whereat we all pshawed and bahed,
and asked Wash. to put his question
again.
"Why is old Quercus like DIR.
Dodd ?" he repeated. 80,
We gave it up.
because he's guilty of the 'crimen
falsi,'" simpered Wash, nervously
anxious for the fate of his bantling.
One after another, as we ''took, !"
like a squad of Unframed militia firing
salute, we broke out into an irreg-
ular guffaw-all except the country.
old gent.
Good capital p exclaimed jeff
Pritchard, the wickedest boy in col
lege "but our friend here" nodding
sideways at the old gentleman, doesn't
quite seem to catch it-al little rusty in
his latin, perhaps. Explain it to him,
Bob Wilkins you're the best scholar
here. wouldn't says SO, if there was
the least fattery in it." -sul
"You've heard the question, sir p
Bob p Missed. H.h.
The stranger nodded.
"And the answer T''
Another nod. r-....
"Well, you see," Bob went on, "old
Quercus, our Professor of Botany,
whom we have all often wished at Bo-
iany Bay, sports glass eye. Now,
mark you, forgery is called in Latin
'crimen falsi ; the play, you perceive,
is on the last word-false eye" And he
persuasively punched the point of the
joke into the ribs of his listener, who,
probably more tiekled by Bob's finger
than the pungencyIof the wit, family
smiled. =, y'..r.ius IHg Sass .!rr. .,l 20
- "What an unapprcciativeold donkey
he is !" grumbled Wash. Purdy,s in
deep disgust and very bad French, but
the kind we understood best. $50, a.
"a perfect barbarian r. Bob Will
kins added, in the same euphonious
dialect. u -...-...... ...,-..
"Just see. how busy the old file pre-
tends to be with his newspaper" sneer-
ed Bill Silver, compelled, however, to
supply the final word by pantomimic
jerk ut his thumb toward the object
indicated.
Probably trying to spell out the
price of oats, suggested Wash, manu-
ally putting in a whole field of them,
we were then passing in place of the
| word. ,...7 -.. -.i.
"He'll get the paper upside down
directly, and be telling us that storm
has upset all the steamboats," remark
ed jeff. Pritchard-which original OBJ
servation he gave in some language in
which upset sounded like torong
| uersy.
II wonder if the new President has
arrived yet" said some ono, changing
the conversation, and falling back on
the vernacular. -.--..
"Oh doubtless" was the joint and
several answer of Jeff: Pritchard
and Wash .Purdy-one of them ad-
ding, "Recitations begin on Monday,
you know, and this is Saturday"
"He's a regular Tartar, they say
came from the rear of huge quid in
small boys mouth. ~ e'
$50 much the more reason for break
ing him in at once, L say" was jeff.
Pritchard's decided opinion.
"Where is he going to board ?" in
quired Wash Purdy.
3"Atthe widow Browns somebody
had heard. d Has -. F Ueli 10
SHOW I'll tell you what let's do, ,
s,;1 Toa, . sslof,a ryef o,rt tho 6 r q oinor