The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1869-09-23
AN ALARMED BRIDEGROOM.

AN ALARMED Bk1UE6hVVMs
It cannot be disguised that marriage
is an alarming episode in mans NE.
MANY a brave fellow who would lace q
battery without finching, and smile
amidst the deadliest hail Of musketry,
finds his heart forsaking him the magic
moment when he changes from gay
young bachelor into sober beneolct.
A friend of the reporter has inst gone
through the ordeal, and this is what
befel him:
The ceremony was over, and the mu-
sic and dancing done. The company
had retired, and the bride had sought
her chamber. The young man had peen
model boy from his youth upward
He had learned great many things,
but, having no sisters, had never learn
ed the mysteries of lady's toilet.
Like japanese Tommy, he thought the
amplitude of skirts was designed to
protect large dimensions, and often
wondered to himself why the rosy-taced
creatures were not formed after the
fashion of men. Still, the bewitching
face had power to allure him, and he
was willing to accept it in atonement
for what he supposed to be singular
discrepancy in nature.
Ascending the stairs to the chamber,
he opened the door and peered cautious
ly in. The gas burned dimly, and weird
shadows played around the room.
With silent prayer for safety he en-
tered and closed the door. On his left
the bed was shrouded in many fold of
lace, but beneath the covering lay a
form beautiful in its symmetry. On
his right rose a huge pyramid of skirts
and snowy linen, crowned by a throng
of slender bars fashioned like bell,
and to the animated observer, resemb-
ling the old wire cage set every even
ing in the pantry as snare for vermln
what the mischief is that!" he
thought; but he said nothing, restrain
ing curiosity and proceeded TO disrobe.
1t must be confessed, however, that his
fears were the least bit excited, and
the perspiration began to bead his fore
head Approaching the toilet table To
lay down his cravat, his hand struck
upon the lower half of human jaw
a scmicirclc of grinning teeth staring
him in the face He started back III
terror, but said nothing. or the simple
ejaculation: THE dcvil.' But it wasn't
only false teeth; nevertheless the
cold chills ran over him, and he was
steadying his hand to unpin his collar,
when his eyes encountered two half
globes of some white linen substance,
resting on the toilet table, and a great
braid of hair hankcd by huge coil be-
hind them. Re started back surprised.
bcwildcrcd; but, as he did so, his feet
struck against a pair of flesh-colored
tights, suspended from chair, and with
their patent calves and padding, looked
like vcritablc legs.
Astonishment held him spell-bound.
If all these were merely adjuncts, what
in the name of heaven had he married
He was turning to the bed to inquire,
when he stumbled over the hump of a
Grecian bend, and, falling. struck lit
tie stand, knocking from it tumbler
of water, out of which rolled a glass
eye!
Gracious heaven" he frantically
calculated, SIS there nothing left of
her?' and, springing to his feet, he
bounded through the door, calling for
the bridesmaid to come and put his
wife together again! His cries for
help soon brought the household around
him, to whom he detailed his grievan-
ces. The assurance that all was right,
finally paciied him, and, after much
persuasion, he went back to his mystic
rious chamber, and by this time has
probably become familiar with fash
ionable lady's toilet.-N 0. Picay,tne-
Two venerable darkies meeting in
the street stopped to talk. In the
course of the conversation one of them
asked the other what he thought off