The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-08-20
MOSCO,S AUTOMATON.

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] have got hard and heavy head; it's
like wood. / don't think l ever think
and don't know as / ever did, excep,
about nothing; and often set doing thai
Tor hours ut time.
You blockhead I" father he ses to me
(which is shipwright), you're only fit
to cut up into figure-head, you great
hungry, hulking, wooden-headed lubber
you; for he had put me to lots of trades
and 1t was no use everybody said l had
no head-piece,-no, not for going errands,
nor giving away handbills even. It's no
good dunning things into my head, for
the only thing ever could remember is
meal-times. Nothing eat hurts me, and
nothing don't seem to do me any good
Nothing makes me laugh nor puts me out
of temper The only thing l ever see
makes me feel like laughing is meals, and
then I've got something better to do; and
the only thing makes me feel like getting
out of temper is getting out of bed of
mornings to chop wood; but when you
are out of bed, you may as well chop
wood as do anything else, for aught
know. The snail gets to his bed as quick
as the swallow, and don't get near so
tired
Well, there was conjurer chap came
into our town. brisk, lively sort of
chap that could talk like q pump, in a
regular stream. He see me loafing about,
and give me an order to see his show,
providing L would go up on the platform
TO hold some things for him. went up,
and did what he told me. 1t seemed to
amuse the people very much, for they
laughed themselves nearly into fits, and
said: did ever you see man keep his
countenance like himg" and, It's just as
if he was cut out of wood" Now, unless
man sees something to laugh at, he has
got no call to laugh,-and that's why L
didn't
After it was over, the conjurer chap
come to me, and ses: al never see your
living equal. You must be used to the
public not to mind them any more than
as if you was stone idol?"
a never see the public before" / ses.
"You didn't" ses he.
"No," ses.
"Well, look here" he goes on, az don't
mind standing you half crown if you'll
tell me what you was a-thinking of when
the public was screaming with laughin g
at you"
"Victuals," makes answer.
"Come and have some along with me, '
he replies, /" for think can put you in
the. way of getting them regular"
So did
Next day, he goes to see my father.
Your son has a wonderful talent, sir.
Hang his talent" ses my father Z" it,
pity he can't use it on any other too
than knife and fork"
"A natural gift, sir, for not laughing al
anything, such as l never see before ou
of the reserved seats. The question is
could he be depended upon always t.
keep his countenance as he did las
night?"
Il never see him smile in my life,
father makes reply, "nor get angered, no
put out; in fact, l never see him TAX
notice of anything. There's no mistake
he can keep his countenance, which is
good deal more than his countenance'l
ever do for him"
don't know so much about that" tn
conjurer ses, "for I'm open to give hin
two pound a week and his board, if he'll
sign articles with me for twelve months
And what is he to do?" ses m,
father
Nothing, to be looked at, an,
that won't hurt him, l suppose?''
We'll" father ses to me, "is it bar
gain?"
Il don't care" I ses So 1 joined tn
show.
The public is an obstinate lot, for whel
you laugh, they won't; but if you sc
your face against laughing, or if you'v
got no call to laugh, through not seein
anything to laugh at, they will laugh lik
mad,-leastways, so I've found it.
Signor Mosco was the conjurer's namt
or, at any rate, the one he went by il
public. He was called q pretty goo
l~,,4 II IL Il L
did. l knew where the bullets went t
when he made believe to ram them into
pistol with a barrel like an ear-trumpet
/ stuffed the gold watches in the hal
quartcrn loaves, and ironed out the ladie.
and gentlemen's pocket-handkerchief;
while he was pretending to burn them
It's surprising what little things anus
the public. | used to tell 'em so, whel
Signor Mosco had done one of his bes
tricks, but they only grinned, and said
Lord. how he does keep his counte
nancer' and, "What a nerve he mus
have, to be surep There was the hat
trick. The tins, and the feathers, an
things look good deal when they are a
thrown about, but they took up no rooI
scarcely when I'd put 'em together, read
for use. And as to rolling two rabbit
into one, what was there to surprise M,
knowing all along very well what Wa
become of the second rabbit, when
shouldn't have took on very much even
he lead rolled 'em into one, except it wa
at dinner-time. There was the decap
tated head and the basket trick, and th
magic flowers, and the woman setting o
nothing, which was called Mecca. Wei
! see the looking glasses and the falls
bottoms, let alone the legs of the decap
tod " / poirll m
see anything in any of it.
There was only one part of the entir
performance that ever could see aHythin
in, and that was, as the bills put it: "Th
Marvellous Mechanical Man or Woode
Automaton, on whose construction no les
than twenty-ti years have been eXpen(
ed, to bring it to its present perfection 6
the greatest wonder of the age"
/ will tell you about it.
First of all, there was large box, {
pedestal, for the figure to stand ON, an
containing the works which was carrie
off the stage, and into the centre of til
reserved seats 1t had a winch, to tur
with handle like bed-post key, to win
up the man, and when wound up made
noise Ike an engine getting up steam
which was the works running dow
Then the man was brought down off til
stage, carried upright by four strong fe
lows. His feet were fastened to roun
wooden stand like children's soldiers stan
on, in which was worm for the gre,
screw on the top of the pedestal Whe
brought down he was hoisted up on tt
pedestal, and turned round and roun
until screwed on. There were gre;
many tubes, and wires, and levers connec
ing the figure with the box, and stickin
out round it, which looked very curiou
and, besides, showed the working part
But worse finished man no one ever Sc
at a tobacconist's shop-door, which mad
it the more singular his doing what he di'
About his neck and the back of his hea
the paint was wore of, shown
the bare wood; and the same with til
point of his nose, which was splintered
and likewise his hands, which wei
glued and cracked. Signor Moso
used to explain this he ! occurred in pacl
ing, and that he would repair the injurie
But it seemed as if it always did occur
packing, for the injuries never were r,
paired. Then, as TO his complexion,
would have been a disgrace to any hous,
painter. 1t was red and whitewash, va
nished, and done 80 badly, that it locke
as if you could see the grain of the WOO
through the paint. I've often aske
Signor Mosco why he didn't paint his al
tomaton better, but he only grinned an
.o;J 81 IIn,,- nraciouc oraoD ,,nn ora DIN