Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-06-04
Au Unsatisfactory Customer.

FROM the story "Doubles and Quits"
in BldckW0Od's Magazine, we take little
sketch that is worthy of Dickens. Mr..
Finney, the principal character, is visited
by a lawyer and friend, for the sake of
eliciting some information from him in re-
gard to a suit:
"Good evening, sir" said the lawyer,
blandlv, on entering.
"Evenin'," said Mr.. Finney, without
raising, but staring like the sphynx, and
inserting huge wedge of soap-like cheese
into his mouth.
"And lovely evening it is" continued
the lawyer, cheerfully.
"Aint been hout," replied the carpenter,
thickly, through his cheese.
"You're Mr.. Finney, think?" said my
companion.
"Hivery man as is impressions" said
Mr.. Fiuney, washing down the cheese
with mouthful of beer, and keeping his
winkless eye upon us. Sometimes they're
kreck-sometime not kreck." e-t.
"Quite true" smiled my friend, humor-
ingly, "but know you're Mr.. Finney."
"Why do you ask, thcn?"
"Only for FORMS sake, my dear sir"
| "Ohl" and he went on munching and
staring, like COW chewing the cud.
"Mr. Thomas Finney, may say" con-
tinued the lawyer.
"Oh, you know that too, do your"
ooh yes, my dear sir, know that
too"
"Then you didn't want to ask me the
question, 1 expect" o.
"No; but know more about you than
you think, Mr.. Finney."
"P'raps you're hextra clever man ?"
"I hope so; it's my business to be
clever"
"P'raps you know more nor there is to
know"
"Oh no, moi" laughed the lawyer, as
though much tickled with Mr.. Finney
"but | assure you we know nothing that
isn't to your credit"
"Don't you, nowH"
"No, indeed, we don't. You've had
your misfortunes, of course"
"Of course, of course"
"But you've got over them all"
"There's no more a.comin', then, sup
poser"
my dear sir let us be serious 1 an
here as lawyer"
"Thats one misfortune I amt got over
then"
"Ah, Mr.. Finney, see you're an incor
rigible joker, like all you dramatic gentle
men. Will you answer an honest man
plain question, joking apart, now"
Finney took pull at his beer, and re
piled:
zoos a,iokin'G I amt, nor this 'er
gent, as l knows on, and Pm not awee
as you've said nuffink hextra comic
amt larfed, as knows on. 'Oos ajokin ?
"Will you answer question, thenW
81 amt on hoath, suppose ?"
"Certainly not it's private question
all among friends. | only want to Sc
if you can tell me something know al
about already" said the lawyer, rathe
outdiplomatizing himself
"Ah | see-it's a knundrum but
give it up-never could make nutlink G
them"
The lawyer looked at me in despair.
"I think you had better ask the ques
tion straightforwsrdly," said "there
no reason why Mr.. Finney should objec
to answer it,"
Mr.. Finney looked perfectly woode
and placid, and browsed at his bread an
cheese. ..
"Well, then, straightforwardly, Mr.. Fir
ney, are you married man?"
"Well, then, straykeforwingly, l can
tell you"
"Thst's odd were you ever married {?
"Yes, l was" .r.
"a widower, perhaps?"
"Msyhap' s--r = ..g.g..sC
"You don't knowgp .
az don't know, and 1 don't bruise m
hoats, and amt a,going to Roshervillt
and, wots more, don't care; and nov
please 70 tell me wot this ere lark is We
, are you comm a-nigglin' and anaggliI
at me for, aud disturbin' me at my whites
90 are you, you white-faced cuss ?" Th
manner was as calm as ever though tb
words were strong. al amt a. goin' to g
hsrgle- barglin' with you all night m
times hup-itis. 90 are you S"-and b