Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1869-07-17

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SMART SAYINGS. 1t is curious to note how
seldom men great with the pen or the sword
are equally 50 with the tongue. But then this
peculiarly runs through all grades OF hfe.
Many men. wise in their professions, are almost
fools in conversation Oliver Goldsmith was
STYLED an inspired idiot. La Foutalne, tue
French table writer, was considered by his con
temporaries a laundering simpleton. Garrlck,,.
the actor, himself 40 contemplate Wit, MT on
poor Goldsmith severely when he said he
wrote ike an angel and talked like poor Poll.
Chesterfield, the author of letters, wrote we'll,
but talked better than he wrote. johnson, OF
ict;onary fame, was Jealous OF him. and called
him lord among wits and Wit among lords.
But that vas not Just, tor he was Wit any
where. He got Oft good remark when some
obscure fellow married the daughter OF certain
verv noted lady, whose way Of life made the
maternity of the young lady more than doubt
tul. Chesterfield dryy styled it the union OF
"Nobody's son to Everybody daughter. A
foolish Young barouet, who was very tall, once
challenged him to make an epigram upon him
the speaker Chesterfield eyed him moment
and then quietly repeated -
"Unhke my subject now shall be my song
1t shall be witty, and it 'hsn't be long"
n. episram seeker was satisfied Sewyn,
besides his reputation for smart talk, had a
oupar taste ior criminal details, and also ior
Sce;nv executions, When Walpole caught
burglar in his house, he sent messenger to
acnnaint Selyyn with the fact. The waiter
Who brought word felt the full solemnlty OF the
occasion, and in trembling voice said "Mr
Selwvn. Mr.. Walpole's compliments, and he s
rot = householder for you" 1t is SAID, that
Selwvn's reputation in this respect made Lord
Holland. when diving, say the only shrewd
hing he had ever been guilty Of. The next
time Mr. Seiwyn calls, show him up Ii l am
alive shall be delighted TO see him II am
dead he will be delighted to see me. Selwyn
was telling this In company, when q gentleman
TO try his powers, pulled him by the coat tali'
and told him that his handkerchief was hanging
out. Thank you, was the reply, r, as ne re-,
placed il; s'you probably know the company
better than do One of his best things was
on,ten off. when an extravagant young blood,
Swbo had been dealing extensively with the
ShO,octs absconded and fed across the chan
naI Selwvn remarked that this was pass
nvnr the Jews would be apt to observe" Again
-, in a house of uncertain, or perhaps GER
,a;n renute, he noticed pair OF shoes lying
on The cover of one of the lady inmate 8 beds,
ou5 drvjv remarked that she Slept with her
shoes. because they were fellows.
.S.D SpEEcu-One of the saGdest and
most touching speeches that we ever read IS
that of the venerable poet, William Caiien
Bryant, at the late commencement OF Wiliams
College. Being called upon 10 speak a' 'ne
annual dinner, he SAID
cline Of life. came to visit once more this seat
~ Learning in which our youth are trained to
S,oceed ms ON the stage OF the world, that
su, in the situation of one who, standing on
S Snnt 5esolate with winter and dim with twi-
Tobt should be permitted by sort OF miracle
.o ioot upon neighboring region glorious
..;,b tbe bloom of spring and bright with the
haams Of morning. On the side where stand
ora barhless fields and leafless woods, pools
sbssted with ice, frozen soil, aud the shadows
of approaching night. On the side to which
/ look are emerald meadows heds OF sprinelng
wheat. orchards In bloom. transparent streams,
and a genial sunshine. With me, 1t IS too late
for aEy further hopeful tlllage, ana II the
a,,uob were put into the ground, its coulter
Po"j5 no obstructed by the ice-bound sods.-
~" W, side to which look | see the tokens
y, ;ud;c;ous cultivation and careful tendance,
oomnensed by free and promising growth
,.O;n,ce at the kindly care thus bestowed, and
nv hone and prayer is that under such auspices p ss
all the promise which meets nS.s my eyes 9nE,D, may oi
amply fulfilled salSsi and %ay As se S% sahsrSd nsi' richer
more abundant than has ever yet been stored
in the grauaries OF our land.
Poor MEN IN New YoRK,-The New YORK
Tr;bune having published list OF all citizens
of New York and vicinity who pay income TAX
it Il says says of the "poOr men who can't afford the
tax: -, r,;v nm town in .
spn5 dollar of taxable Income. Tie swear:
% thaI he pays s., 600 rent for his house , that ht
mostly n real estate that he received last year @
5000 from rents and paid about sooo tb, lOI
- cosis him about $50, 600 per annum to hv'
DS SOtfs that I he obtains the u9ds BY The
arsasonai .nr sale Of lot Of ground allofwhch he
owned to the passage OF the income me tai