The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1869-05-29
A box organ-The ear.
Note for dull people-B sharp. 90 =
A bad omen--To owe men money.
A sky lark-Going up in . balloon.

n UbO 0mon-SX0 0Wo men money.
A sky lark-aoing up in balloon.
Hawthorn says that "A grave, Whenever found,
breaches q abort and pity sermon - the soul.'
And Of its digger, Shakespeare exclaims, THE
houses that he builds last forever"
A sharp old gentlemen travelling out West
got seat beaids his wife in crowded car. by
requesting heyoung man who Sat beside her 70
watch that women while he went into the next
car as she had fits.r
An old offender was lately introduced to . new
country justice Of the psaoe a. John Snm-
mons alias Jones nlias Smith. "Ill try
:he woman hrst," exclaimed the thick.headed
justic.-"Bring in Alice Jones"
A young lady at Troy, while engaged in con-
versation with gentleman few days since,
spoke of having resided in st. Louis. "Was ST.,
Louis your native place Z" inquired the gentle
man. well, yesTpan cfile tine." responded
the lady.
butcher let sailor have shoulder Of NUT
ton on trust, but finding day or two after, that
he had gone to . foreign land, said my word (!
but il had known that he never intended pay.
ing for it would have charged him q penny a
pound more for it,
William the Fourth used the slang phrase
which calls an empty bottle marine" where.
upon an officer at the table demonstrated on the
insult to his corps. mean,' said the King, 'fhat
it asdone it, duty, and is ready to do it again"
One day Piron went to see voltaire, but did
not find him Ut home. In order to excite his ire.
he wrote on his door, "Old Villain" Two days
afterwards lie met the author Of the "Henriade"
in the street II was at your house" he said to
Voltaire, with . sneer, "but did not find you ct
home" q know" replied voltaie ;''You left
your name on the door" saa
A writer in Mppencott gets of this "You
call that Q trunk, do you z" erowled detected
porter. 1T only needs lightning rod IN make
it look deuced sight more like boarding
house than what's to be found in Saratoga"
"Has your husband got naturalized p iuquir-
ed an energetic democratic politician Of the
Fourteenth Ward, of q robust female. 'Got nat
ural eyes" was the response in an indignant Tone
YES, begorra; and natural sath too"
II have lost my appetite" said gigantic Irish
gentleman and an eminent performer on the
treneher, to Mark Supple. "Oh! hope" said
Supple, mo poor man has found it, for il would
ruin him in week
A man in Boston, few nights since, rode
velocipede with grooved wheels) upon tight
rope, twenty feet above the heads of his audience,
while another man performed antics on trapeze
attached to the velocipede.
A Sitka correspondent thus describes Alaska
scenery: take one big mountain-covered
with trees from the base nearly to the summit,
with an underground 81 bush, briars and moss
almost impossible multiply the one by 10000,
and you have Alaska"
"Nthing can be we'll done that is done in
hurry" oracularl@ declared certain pompous
politician in New York, on the steps of City
Hall. "How about catching Aeas ?" asked wag
at his elbow. The politician was aoored.
Lamartine was asked by friend if he did not
spend too much money in advertising. "No."
was the reply, advertisements are absolutely