The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1869-07-01
Editorial Short-StraMs.

Editorial Short-Straws.
Cotton is blooming in Georgia, and la
dies are blooming in Staunton.
Senator Sumner proposes to visit the
Pacific coast this summer. Hope he'll re-
main there.
Another of the "last of Washington's SER
wants" has died. This ones name was Susan
johnson.
Women arc progressing. Miss Emily
Judson Harris is to read the Declaration of
Independence in Boston on 4th July.
Mint Juleps, native Of Virginia, are
naturalized in Paris. They are called Grog
Anaericanne ana fines herbes.
-"Iron thorough-brcds is the new name
for superior locomotives out West One
company runs champion Of the thorough.
BREEDS"
"A Kentucky justice fined man FIVE
dollars for kissing one of his own sex in the
street. Served him right.
Cincinnati is jubilant-She has won
baseball. This is not the only base thing
she boasts of.
Grant has provided for another of his
family. The Dents have stuck their teeth
into the public crib.
Miss Anthony insists that the pulpits
shall be open to woman preachers. Better
open the coal pits: ~ RI is
'-Thcyar going to erect statute toa glove
maker in Grcnoble, France. Every body
will have aag- in it,. -
Anna Dickinson gives out that she is
worth 100000; still no guigeon of a bach
elor will nibble at the bait.
1t is said that the police of Boston at
one time contemplated arresting nearly 5000
of the singers at the jubiloo for uttering false
notes.
An extremely black and bright girl, ne
gro girl, in Chicago, has sued white man for
breach Of promise. Amount of damages not
stated. -
-Parson Brownlow, the devils vicegcrant
on earth, now declares against continued dis
franchiscment. He finds that the pot Of
hell-broth is boiling over.
Miss Anthony is maiden lady, We be-
lieyc. She is trying to pursuadc her readers
that "it is unhealthy for two persons to sleep
/ in one bed.'
The negroes are behaving very we'll in
Washington ; they permit the white folks to
ride IN the cars with them, and are otherwise
indulgent.
The petticoat- politicians expect to send
several of their own sex to Congress. It is
recommended that wet-nurse-bureau be
opened, under charge Of the infantry
"A New Jersey editor congratulates him
self and his readers that his income last year,
added to that of A. T. Stewart, amounted to
over three million dollars. IL
"A Louisville gentleman, laboring under
a strange whim, says he is commissioned by
Deity to chop his wife into small pieces
The wife, no doubt, is much alarmed
When Colfax got Nellie Wade, why
didn't he get her uncle weighed? Because
he's Ben Wade.-Erchange.
I Ycs-and found wanting.
Turner, the col'd man of letters, has
got his credentials at headquarters, and made
tracks to Macon, Ga. He will now begin
| the black mail business.
The N. Y. Tribune abiding to the Empe-
rer of France, says: "all disputed elections
he will still have the chance of managing
his own way.' One of the swiud!cs of this
model republic,
Colored voters are fearfully on the in,
crease. Anegro mother Of South Carolina
the other day presented he. venerable hus
band with four boys at birth.
They have two headed and four. legged
negro girl in Chicago. So much niger in
one body is worshipped by the mougrels-
Why don't they send her down South to vote
double?
| We would advise visitors to the Springs
to have copies Of the Tribune, Independent
State Journal, DC, ready to place beside their
plates at table, if they wish to secure the at.
tention Of the colored walters.