The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-08-02
Fact and Fancy.

An old age-Bevcr-uge.:
High work-Gctting light.
A great tanner-The sun.
Air castles-Birds' nests.
Fancy paintcrs-Women.
Color of ignorance-Greeu.
Lip music-Blowing horn.
The vcricst black-log-A negro's.
lie who wishes to rest must work.
Tight plrcc for any man-Standing in
a pair Of boots that pinch.
Matters Of moment ought to be des.
cribed ir minute manner.
What soup would cannibals prefer i?
The "broth Of a boy"
Ban we'll. behaved male eel be called
gent-ccl?
The man who strained at q poiut got a
twist in himself.
There is a time for all things except to
do nothing.
Auct!onecls often knock things down
without injuriug them.
Musicians may be said to take soand
view of things.
Avolumc Of water cannot be called dry
reading.
When is silence likely to get wet?
When it reigns.
How to make tie most of figure g.
Turn it upside down.
Don't care so much bout the bugs
said Mr.. Swiuks, "but the truth is, |
havu't got the blood to spare"
Doyour best. Others may reach
better result, but relatively they accom-.
plish no more.
The man who run lis fure for suit Of
clothes got ono that didu't fit him on the
back.
Have purpose in life. If you don't
you will not be likely to have anything
as result.
In youth We hope in middle ago VIC
believe; in old age we doubt. Life is ro-
nance, reality, skep,icism.
Colleges don't make ,hen; they orly
assist, like policemen at saloons, in
bringing tl,en out.
Man is the work Of the Deity; but
society is said to be the Work of-dcuccd
bard work to think Of.
Paper makers are supposed to be more
wise than formerly, since they devote
themselves less to foolscap.
There are two fruits Of folly in the
world. Men wlo will not do when they
can, and cannot when they would.
What did our first parents do in the
garden Of Eden? Adam kept the gar
den and Eve raised Cain.
When the Irisbman first tried peaches,
lie said he liked the flavor, but tue seeds
lay hard on his stomach.
What is the difference between truth
and eggs? "I'ruth crushed to earth will
rise again." but eggs won't
II am very particular abopt my rcpu-
tation, sir" eyes, you always have
been very particular about triAes.
The grcener nature is the better she
looks. This rule does not at all apply 10
human beings.
Ifyou 60 into a store and find the
clerk lying on the counter asleep, you
may know that the firm don't advertise.
Anything for quiet life.
"ls your lousc a warm one, landlord9"
asked gentleman in search Of house.
at ought to be-" was the reply, "the
painter gate !. two coats recently"
A sentimental chap intends to petition
Congress for u granS to improve the chan.
nels Of affection, SO that the course Of true
love may run smooth.
An 1rishman, recommending a COW,
said she would give good milk, year after
year, without having calves, because she
came from a COW that never had calf.
They have improved upon the "squnre
ineal' in Montana. A saloon in Helena
gives "cubc meals at low price. The
root" when extracted, was found to be
potato gin.
Any business is moro respectable than
that ofloating. A voting man had better
sell clans by the pailfnl than hang round
public resorts numbering time and his
own reputation.
"ffow old are yOu9'' asked railroad
conductor of a little girl whom her mother