Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1869-08-27
HOW ARE YOU, SMITH
A Perkins TO the Rescue! or, Rather
TO the RiZziO.
A Very Large Bridge over Smith
Pr05Oseis.
A New Combination Of ExtraOr-
binary Talent,
las they say in the show biIsJ

As was predicted by all who had
the pleasure Of his acquaintance,
Smith Qate of the firm Of Smith
RizziO) effectually flung dirt in the
eyes Of his late partner, when he
slipped of on a prOtracted "rot,"
leaving her to play checkers with her
nose, through the Embellishments OF
a cell window in the Second District,
instead of hustling around to raise
money to pay her fine. And when
the old gal got out of her dilemma,
her first act was to declare war against
the whole Smith family. She even
went so far as to swear out a warrant
for his arrest, charging him with " 60
ing back on her." and the music of
which Smith would have been COM
PEELED to face, If he hadn't kept shady.
Mrs. Understandable no lOnger-
pinned for some cOngenial heart to
whom she could breathe her SORROWS,
and who should turn up, IN the very
nick of time, but Perkins-Charles
Perkins-the very man of all Others
that she would have selected to
ill the void left by the per-
fidiOuS Smith. Perkins had called, ne
said, as the festive female was ex-
hausting her vocabulary of politeness
to induce him to "Ftake Just a little,
Mr.. Perkins; il can't 'urt you"
(meaning the whisky, only to dor
row the loan" of a frying-pan, a
match, and a small piece Of bacon, "if
she had such a thing in the house, y TO
help make a dinner of a piece of corn
bread he had picked up; that was all
he wanted. Loan him the artieles2
"CertingIy, Mr.. Perkings, hanythink
hin the 'Ouse is hat yer service; hOnly
Won't you stop a bit and ave dinner
with me? Honly a plain COW heel
with tuTmuts, you know, but so be il
that'H suit, yer more than Welcome,
Mr.. Perkings!" aud seeing the seedy
but singulaTly muscular gentleman's
eyes cast lovingly on the bottle which
stood near, she showed it towards Per
kins-"'Ave a drop more, earnt We?
Don't be afeard! Don't 'Oller afOFe
yer 'urt, Mr.. Perkingsl Ave a
naggin long % me, lad" and
the busthead gurgled out of the
black bottle and Kissed down a
red hot gUllet even a. she was speak
ing. As the bottle travelled to and
fro across the counter, Perkins became
less modest, and atlast guessed he'd
stay and take Il little suthin' to eat, as
he felt kinder peckish, anyhow, and
Miss ReachO was so peTsuadin' like"
The bottle passed and repassed athwart
the plank between them, and they
hObnObbed, and clinked glasses, and
sWOre at the memory of Smith, and
Perkins recited "a hOad " las
NJ Ds.nfn mould oil 80 n.l
became patriotic, sung a song all about
CrossingtOn Washing the Delaware;
in fact the pair reyeled extensively,
the "cOwheel and turmuts'' cooking
nicely the wilhelm a poland throwing
off an OdOr that vas shifted up CRATE
fully by the ravenOus though jovial
Perkins. As Mrs. RizziO, armed with
a long iron fork, was prodding
around in the pot 5pearing the stray
g turmuts " as they dubbed TO the top,
her quick ear caught the melodiOuS
voice of Smith, once so enchanting TO
her ears, and she dropped fork, cow
heel and all, like a country boy with
q hot horseshoe in o crossroads black
smith shop, and rushed 10 the door.
There, at the top Of the bluff, just IN
der the sign, "Try Southern Diarrhea
Cordial for LumbagO and Yellow Fe-
YER" sat Smith, his No. p cowhide
boots looking like sacks of guanO as
they sprawled over the edge. Smith
was singing, or trying to sing, and Rs
he hiccupped out
eve p-a-r-t-e-d by the river side"
his eye caught the form Of his
late partner, and he cur his song
short and commenced making the
most dismal shoots hecOuld think Of
at Mrs. 5. This was enough; rOus-
ing Perkins from a drunken sleepint0
which he had fallen with q dipper of
hot water down his hack, and drag
ging her pUtatiye husband from under
the counter by the hair, she put her.
selfat the head Ofthe force and started
for Smith. But, neither Perkins nor
Frank RiZziO admired the change; a
comfortable snOOZe on a hot afternoon
beats chasing Smith or any other man,
and the amazon had a mutiny on her
hands before she could say Jack Rob
insOn, and in attempting to put down
the characterization, brought on a
triangular internecine war that fetched
the police down upon them in less
than three shakes of a sleeps tail.
The mutinOus m~asculines and their
female captain were dumped into the
cellar of the First District Station, to
emerge yesterday afternoon only long
enough to hear superintendent Pearne
says $40 each take 'em back"
Smith has strained his arm throwing
brickbats from the top of the bluff to
the roof of the RizZio palace. He has
had his revenge for the loss of his
lady-loye.