Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1869-05-21

DECEIT OF SONG WRITER'S.
DY THE " FAT CONTRIBUTOR"

! From the Cincinnati Times.
| The man who wrote "Homc, Sweet Horac,
never had home.--Erchonge.
No, Of course MT. All his FOLKS a, home
say lie didn't. Nobody who writes abou
anything ever has it. If a man is ont o
| anything he immediately goes and writes
about it. No one writes so many head
ngs" az the man who is cut Of his head.
Certainly he didn't have any home. The
,aan who wrote Old Arm Chair" never had
an arm chair in all his life. The best he hat
was an old spill, bottom chair without any
back to it.
The author of Take BE Back 70 Switz.
erland' never was in Switzerland. The
| nearest he ever came TO il was sitting in tho
William Tell saloon eating Switzer kase
kdse why, that sas the best he could do.
'Mothcr, I've Come Home to Die" hasn't
spoken to the old woman lor years, and
wouldn't 20 near the house. Besides, he is
| one OF that class Of spiritualsts who don't
believe they over will die. His health was
never better. His mother is nothing but a
moher-in>law, and she is dead; anyhow.
There is the author . Old OakeI Bucket"
too. There wasn't bucket on the whole
farm, water being drawn with tin pail and
eis'ern>pole.
"If had but thousand year." stated
privately to his friends that he would be per-
iec,ly conteuted with half that sum, as he was
doing chores just for his board and three
months schooling in the winter.
The author Of I" Champagne Char,ey" new
err drank anything but ten>cen, whi-ky.
The man who wrote Mary had little
lamb" knew very well il was nothing but a
title lamb fry.
Shells Of ocean" is Lumbag. The
plaintiye poet who represents himself as wan.
derlng, one summers eve, with seabeat
thought. on pensive shore, was raised in
the interior Of Pennsylvania, AID never va 5
ten miles away from home in all his life.
" Gathered shells" did he All the shells
lie ever gathered we're some egg shells back
Of his mothers kitchen.
Hark, hear the angels sing" spent all
his evenings in a concert beer saloon. An
gels, indeed
The man who wrote the g Song OF the
Shirt" hadn'ta shirt 10 his back, wea ring
awampus Tor the most part.
"Oll in the Silly Night used TO ge; on a
spree and make the Silly night howl till day
break.
The author Of" We met by chance" knew
very well it was all arranged beforehand "A.
He had been weeks in coniriving ;t-and she
admired bis contrivanee.
TIE author Of 81 know a bank" etc.,
didn't know one where he could get his note
discounted. The only check he ever held
was a white check" Oh a faro bank. He
never had red check in all his life.
"What are the wild waves saying % knew
very we'll they we're reproach;ng him forums
ming away from Long Branch without pay.
ing his hotel bill.
"Who viii care for neither now?" Who,
indeed! You took the old women 10 the
poor>house just before writing the song, and
;aere is nobody but the Poorrnaster to care
for her now.
Hear me, Norma" was deaf and dumb.
BE couldn't make his pa hsar, nor ma.
"My mother, dear'' used 10 thrash the old
woman within an inch Of her life.
The author of Rain on the Roof always
slep. in the basement, except when he slep,
out Of doors.
"Let me kiss him for his mother got mad
because his mother wouldn't have him, and
whipped her little boz within an inch Of hi.
life
81 dreamt dwelt in marble halls" used
to cheat at marbles when n hoy, and lis
dream was q horrid nightmare, brought on
by remorse at the recollection Of fraudulent
marble hdais.
I'm saddcst when l sing" was ticLled
half to death if invited TO.
Happy be thy dreams sold benz;ne
whisky. Yen can fancy wha, kind Of
dreams were produced.
No one to love" having JUS, killed off his
fifth wife, naturally felt like The devil about