Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1869-11-04
FUNNY Items.

An editor has placed over his marriage
| cut representing large tap sprung. VIII
the motto: THE trap down-another hin
ny caught. :,s..s;5'is ~ - r. =
What is the difference, between Eu.
genie and the deposed Queen Of Spain
One is belle on throne, and the othe,
Isabella of. -
The New Haven Lever sounds thie
note Of warning: "Beware, young man
The pearl powder now used by her il poi.
son! One touch Of those eager lips to that
enamelled cheek may result in death moel
horrible! Rewarrrrre r - r :sC5 :.
Party (who has brought back the music
stool in disgust) -sI.ooke' ERE Mister Anc.
tioneer, this plaguy thing amt no manne,
OF use. ct all; I've twisted un round, an oil
woman ave twisted un round, but sorra a
bit Of toon We can get Of unit: a. y
+ "A New Orleans attorney had for q
client q young lady whose leo had bean
bitten by 8 dog, and had referred to tho
circumstance "a AN injury to ..sthat elon-
gated member which assists in sustaining
tho body in its efforts ct locomotion." n
A clergyman 4 In the country had. :
meeting Ills beadle he said to him. s.We1i
Saunders. how did You like tho sermon to.
dayP' Il watna, sir, 1t. was rather o'er:
plain and simple for me-" replied the bea-
de. Il like the sermons that bae iumbles
the joodgment and confoupds the .sanaa.
Cd, sir, I never nav ane that could Come m
to yourser ct that" t.. -
"A Scotch clergyman, In the recent
drought, one sunday offered q pssys Ssf Is,
rain. and. sure enough, il came lust "a th Sa
service closed. One old lady, who had nj
umbrella with her, commenced to oather
up the skirts of her gown over head hs.
fore quitting the church vestibule. at the
same time remarking to neiohbor. stEh.
wumman, isn't too bad of the doetorl "Sa
might haze lotten IA hame Arst," -
"A gentleman VA seeted With .ro.,.,
peracn in the room where countrv Oil
eat bolt upright. and utterly siient. al.
lenoe. INDEED, feil upon the entirs , n.rt ~
and the gentleman arst alluded 10 ia. IN
what he supposed to bean almost insnd;-
ole tone Of voice; lawful pause" "I
guess, Mister" exclaimed tho indignant
country lass, jumping up. "you'd have
awful paws. too. if you had to do all the
scEabbinR that ! doesP" wv ~ VAC
"A curious suit is about to be tried be-
1ore Memphis justice of the peace. A
~nite man has . young bull pup. The pup
bit . barefooted negro in the heel as he
vas passing. The negro jumped, and two
OF tho pups teeth were thereby extzaeted.
The negro sues the white man for ALLOWING
the vicious dog to run at large, The vhite
man h!es cross-eut saw bill, and sues the
negro tor having q heel tough enough to
draw q dogs teeth.
1.-The following il . verbatim report of a
conversation between two young ladies'
who vejust finished their education at a
classical school: ''Where you ut the pic
MOP Eyes, and We had high old time
Of it." u wanted to go 90 bad, but mother
was 50 hard pushed couldn't get off," ~
was ri6ged, but I couldn't csrner YOU anv.
where in the woods We had bully time.
and you know promised my gallant {hat
he should have sight at YOU" sWell.
ticks at the fair.''
About two o'clock on . December
night, in illinois, when tho thermometer
stood In the neighborhood of zero, . party
OF wags hailed farm house in q very bois.
ferrous manner. The farmer sprano out of
his bed. drew on q few articles of CLOTHING.
and ran out 10 see what was wanted, when
the following interesting dialogue occur
red: Have you any hay, Mr.. p
PLENTY of it, sin sHavo Won plenty If
corn Yes 'Oats?' Yea .Any eeo.Y
Yes Amy buttsrv Yes .flenfv n
meats and 6readstufls3' Yes. wei. Va
are glad to hear it, for, they are nsefnI
things in q family The party then drcva
of, leaving the farmer to his refectiona