Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1869-01-22
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
A rraur rrr-Dellrium tremens.


TO work
WIEN does n public officer "begin to
feel bis oats Y"-Whensins stalled.
TIE New York sn proposes an elc. |
waited railway for velocipedes only.
WnEN is man compelled to keep his
word When no one viii take it. !
WHEN is woman called an old maid
When she a virgin (verging) near forty.
Why are young ladies with brilliant
eyes very powerful? They often lasten
eight (fascinate) men.
SPEAKING of the newspaper discussion
concerning the aduteration of milk, Punch
gives his opinion that the best article on
milk is-cream.
THE Boston Transcript says, 1--WE APP
prehcnd that proof.readers are really the
only persons who read every word OF vol
luminous public documents, and they are
paid for doing It,
BRIGHAM You've has publicly notified
the printers of Salt Lake Uity thatif they
publish his remarks without allowing him
first to revise them, he will not consider
them his friends.
A LADY having the good fortune to have
her husband hang himself on an apple tree,
the wife Of neighbor immediately came
a
grated into one in her orchard, "for who
knows" says she, but it may bear the
same kind of fruit"
THE Supreme Court of Georgia has de-
cided that tenant owes rent upon his
house, after it is burned down, for the
balance of the contract the same as If
| fire had never occurred, and It would be
well for them TO put q fire exception on
the face of their notes
| A CONNECTICUT legislator, having be-
come satisfied that the majority of married
| people desire separation, proposes toannual
| all existing marriages. The small minor
| itywhoa are satisfied with their present con.
dtion can get married again, which will
be cheaper than to compel the majority to
sue for divorce
A GERMAN editor asserts that new
metal has been discovered, the component
parts of which are water, glass and cop.
per 1t is OF q deep orange hue, can be
melted and cast, wrought under the ham
mer and rolled. Files will not scratch it.
1t is translucent and capable of being
wrought into ornaments of rare beauty
A PROFESSOR of natural history, who is
{ sometimes quite abscntmiRded, while
hearing class in zoology, put tho ques
ton: "Did YOU ever see porpoise p
mo, sir' Professor very forcibly. as
was his wont, "The ae1t. Did you ever
, see porpoise ?" "No, sir" "The Rert
r Did y0u ever see porpOise p Ono, sir. ,
: At this point, forgetting that his question
was entirely extraneous, he closed the
, book with Il bang, and an indignant
t "Take this lesson again." amidst tn,
, laughter of the class.
d WE should like to see the old-fashionet
| 1.
every school district. Good spoilers now
+ a. days are so rare that they are indeed eX
; | ceptional. They are not abundant among
G Ollcgiates-more's the pity and in tht
H. intermediate grades of students they arr
. but here and there seen In nine tenth
l. of the letters received by any large pub
T. fishing house or other establishment hav
|, | ing letter communication with q largr
;, number Of people, errors in orthography
E are remarkably .frequent,-ErchaRge -
i SOME of the public schoosin New Y Yorl
c have taken an aristocratic turn. A not,
| from the mother of some poor children il
published, in which she appealed to tht
1 principal to keep her children in school i
, possible, declaring the teacher had "madt
lun of their Clothes" but protesting sL,
$ had been sick and could not clothe then
any better. The petty scamp who thu
attempted to exclude poor children from
school by heartless ridicule, foTgets that tht
school was designed for them, and that ht
= is hired as their servant. .1-
n A PRIZE of two dollars was recently
offered to any member of flle Connection
h Teachers Institute who would write anC
d | spell correctly the words in the following
= sentences, at is an agreeable sight Il
I: | witness the unparalleled embarrassment
e of harrassed peddler attempting to gauge
70 the symmetry of a peeled onion, which
;. sibyl has stabbed with a pOniard, regard
y less Of the inuendoes of the lilies of cor
r nelian hue" Thirty-eight teachers com
5 peted for the prize, but not one was sue
, cessful.
o A GENTLEMAN who has lately explored
t the islands of Pyramid Lake, in Utah
: | which are avoided from some superstition
: fear by the Indians, says that it is impos
: sible in the incubaJing season to walk OF
|. the islands without stepping on the egg
II of gulls, ducks, pelicans and other aquatic
fowl Two small rocky islands are aliv
e with rattlesnakes, which bask in the shadt
# of almost every stone; so that an intrude
5 is often treated to a serenade by Il dozel
Il or more rattles Of various degrees O
t. power and shades of tone.
e AT Strstford, lately, lady who keep
large number of fowls, which are grea
's pets, and very tame, was recently standin
70 in her yard surrounded by the feather
tribe, when one of them jumped up int
lie her arms, and pecking ut her teeth aclu
, ally picked one out of her mouth, dr0I
d ping it to the ground. Before the lad
e could prevent it the hen jumped dow
K and swallowed the tooth, evidently think
d ing it was fine kernel ofcorn. The lad
n called neighbor, who caught and kille
. the fowl; in the crop, uuinjured, Tia
% tooth was found and restored to its ol
ls quarters.
r, AN odd Illustration of the value Of tn
ID class of testimony known as the evidenC
nj of experts was given in the Twitchel
is murder case, lately tried in Philadelphia
u 4 physician was called to establish q Gel
/ tain point in the case by proving that
y certain wound could not have been il
y llicted with certain poker without benC
ie ing the iron. He testified positively t
d this fact and ii came out tnst to satisf
&c his own mind, he had himself broke
Al many skulls with many pokers, and be
e come cony inced of the relative strengt
j, of the two articles. But of course Jh
/ doctor had hammered at dead and dent
Is dcd skulls only; and it is contenGed, o
a. the other side, that the different degrees
is resistance offered by a living head woul
n thoroughly overthrow the results of
y experiments,
H. priSOnS In the Vnifpd StafeS