The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1869-01-21

bosom, is given in the history of man and
wife now living in Maury County, Tennes.
see, within six miles of Columbia. An old
couple who were once happy, and enjoyed
life as much, perhaps. as is possible for n
married couple to enjoy it, live in the locali-
ty above indicated. They own small pro-
perty, but have no children They eat their
meals together daily, except when the old
man ls out hunting, at which time the lady
OF the house enjoys her grub in silence
Every evening of the year, except one, they
occupy opposite sides Of the fire place, one
whiting tobacco-smoke up the chimney,
and the other chewing snuff and growing
to herself. Not word passes. At about
10 o'clock, they simultaneously rise from the
fire and go to bed in silence
The exceptional day to this beautiful
harmonious life is the 25th of December
christmas Day, when there occurs Il regu-
lar old-fashioned fight between the silent
twain. This is an annual battle md like
other fights, is contest for the supremacy
OF an idea. 1t was iuaugurated in this
Wise: Nearly ten years ago, ON Christmas
day, in the morning. the old man went
out hunting for something fat for dinner
After an absence Of about five hours he
returned with an animal of some sort, and
singing it on the floor, he triumphantly
exclaimed:
There, there, Betty, is a ground-hog
for dinner!' Betty turned the affair over
with the toe of her brogan, gazed intently
Tor two minutes and then deliberately
said:
''Faugh! it's II skunk!"
The husband didn't like this expression
OF opinion on the part of his beloved, but
being mild man, and anxious to retain tho
long standing good feeling between them,
he contented himself with gentle re-itera-
tion of his first remark. The wife again
dissented. The husband put a little more
hrmness in his next re-iterution. The lady
became firm also, and even INDUCED in a
sort Of sneer at the ignorance of her hus-
band. BE waxed cross
II tell you, Bet, it's ground-hog, and I
don't want to be contradicted.
But the lady contradicted. 'I tell you it
is, and III tell you it amt" followed each
other with increasing rapidity and viruence,
1l until the storm assumed the shape of blows.
The man pinched and the woman scratched,
and had to quit from sheer weariness
Next day, when GOODNESS and reflection
superseded heat and passion, both silently
regretted the unfortunate difference of OPT
Mon, which left the head of the house with
half his beard and very little hair. and the
lady with two eyes of unusual darkness,
but they spoke not. No, both were too
proud and guilty for that. They remained
silent until a whole year had rolled round,
and Christmas day again came on. While
enjoying cup of thick, black coffee and O
greasy corn-dodger. the wife mildly ventured
to remark to the effect that they had been
very foolish year ago to fall out and pound
each other about 80 miserable thing as q
skunk
"Yes," said the repentant husband, "it
was very wicked of us, and we oughtn't ha'
done it; but you forget, Bet, that it was
ground-hog and not skunk"
Bet did not forget she had reason to re-
member, although the black eyes were all
gone then, but she knew it was skunk
The husband thought it shame for her to
hold the opinion still, particularly when sho
knew it to be ground hog She knew it
was skunk-he knew it was hog She
knew different. The virulence again crept
i'll, words waxed hot and blows followed
The scene of the former Christmas day was
re-enacSed to nicely, and both went to bed
exhausted, with blncker eyes in her head
and less hair on his. They were repentant
and silent the next day, and spent the year
without speaking; but when the anniversary
arrived the same scene was gone through
with religious precision, and has been gone
through with every Christmas since. The
people for miles around have become aware
of these annual idiosyncracies in the lonely
and peculiar pair, and look forward with
much interest to the development of the
coming Christmas. 1t may be proper to
remark, for the sake of porspicuity, that the
lady's eyes, from being originally light
gray, have become coaly black from the
periodical dyeing which her considerate
husband gives them; and his hair has en-
tirely disappeared owing to the yearly ope-
ratlOnS of her lOnp finoerS
to when tho war will end, but the general
belief is that the lady will use up the old