Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1869-07-02
MARK TWAIN,s SPEECH AT THE
N.Y. PRESS CLUB ON THE LATE
RELIABLE CONTRABAND.


LEL1A- Sa&A -1-@AL
Mr. President and GeatLeH9en:-It is
my painful duty to MAJ these festivi-'
ties with ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of thedeath
of one who is dear to us all-Our tried
and noble friend, the Reliable Contra
band" To the world atIarge this event
viii bring no sorrow, for the world
never comprehended him, never knew
him as we did, never had such cause to
love him; but unto as the calamity
brings unutterable anguish-for it her
aids the loss of one whose great heart
beat for US alone, whose tireless tongue
yIbrated in our interest only, whose
tervent fancy wrought miracles sole
~ fer our enrichment and renown.
In his time what did he do for US ?
When marvels languished and sensa-
tIon dispatches grew tame, who was it
that laid down the shovel and the hoe
and came with healing on his wings :?
The Reliable ~Ontraband. When armies
fed in panic and dismay, and the great
cause seemed lost beyond hope of sue
cor, who was il b a turned the tide of
war and gave victory to the vanquish-
ed2 The Reliable -COntraband. When
despair hung its shadows about the
hearts of the people, and sorrow sat
on every lace, who was 1t that braVed
every danger to bring cheering and in
COMPREHENSIVE news from the front?
Inc Reliable COntraband. Who took
Richmond the first time? The Reliable
C~ontraband. Who took it the second
timer The Reliable C~ontraband. Who
took it eBeYy time until the last, and
then felt the bitterness of hearing a
nation applaud the man more whotook
it nee than that greater man who had
taken it six times befOre7 The Relia-
| bic Contraband. When we needed a
blOOdless victory to whom did we look
to win it ? The Reliable Co~ntraband.
When we needed news to max the
! nPnDlRtG hnVTnlE UnGFn and their knot
ted n combined locks to stand on
endlike quilts upon the fretful porcu-
pine, to whom did we look to fetch it
The Re1iablRwC ontraband. When we
needed any sort OF description of news
upon any sort or description of subject
who was it that stood ready to steal a
horse and bring that news long2 The
Reliable C~ontraband.
| My friends, he was the faithfu1est
| vassa1 that ever fought, bled and lied
in the glorious ranks of journalism,
Thunder and lightning eve stopped
him; annihilated railroads never de-
layed him the telegraph eve over
took him military secresy never Grip
pied his knowledge; strategic feints
never confused his Judgment /; cannon
balls couldn't kill him ~clairVOyance
couldn't find him; Satan himsel1
couldn't catch him. His Information
| comprised all knowledge, possible and
impossible his imagination was ut
terly boundless his capacity to make
mighty statements, and so back them
up as to make an inch Of truth cover
an acre of ground, without appearing
to stretch or tear, was a thing that ap-
palled even the most unimpressible
with its awful grandeur.
The Reliable Contraband is no more
Born of the war, and a necessity of the
war, and of the var only, he watched
its progress, took notes of its successes
and reverses, manufactured and re-
corded the most thrilling features OF
its daily history, and then, when it
died, his great mission was fulfilled,
his occupation gone, and he died like
wise.
No journalist here present can lay
his hand upon his heart and say be
had not cause to love this faithful crea-
ture, over whose u%nsentient form we
drop these u~navailing tears-fOr no
Journalist among us all can lay his
hand upon his heart and say he ever
lied with such pathos, such JUNCTION,
such exquisite symmetry, such sub
Unity of conception and such felicity
of execution, as when he did it through
and by the inspiration of this regally
gifted marvel of mendacity, the Ia
mented RELIABLE CoNTRABAND. Peace
to his ashes! Respectfully,
Mark TWAIN.