The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-12-02
A TRIP TO CHICAGO.

CnrcAoo Nov -. 1t was Secretary Bout
well, ] believe, who suggested that Andy
johnson, that irrepressible culprit, be got rid
of by being rammed into n loaded mortar and
shot upwards from the earth, that was tired of
him, through vacant hole in the sky TO
some undiscovered land beyond. The sensa-
ton Of going to sleep in Philadelphia aud
waking up at or near Pittsburg reminds me of
Boutwells illustration. But, after all, the
Governor was plagiarist. / remember read
ing an article in one of the earlier numbers Of
H0rper's Mdgdzine, entitled adventures in
Skitland,' in which this was the final punish
ment of poor fellow who suddenly tumbled
into Skitland through hole he had
been digging in his garden. After many
curious and interesting adventures heewas
condemned for some transgresson against
the laws Of Skitland to be transported back to
the earth from whence he came, and was ac-
cordiugly rammed into a mortar and shot
through the identical hole he had made in
his own garden, and through which the light
had penetrated to Skitland, much to his own
satisfaction and relief, and this reader also,
no doubt, who are tired Of the long preface.
To enter one of the handsome silver palace
cars of the Central transportation Company
at West Philadelphia, and there lay in the
arms OF Morpheus Cor anybody else), totally
unconscious of the surrounding world until
the hoarse voice of the guard yells ont ''Pitts-
burg" far surpasses in wonder any of the
tabled tales of the Arabian Nights. What
indeed, are the wonders of Aladdin's lamp
compared to the light of modern material
science as illustrated by the steam engine
As newspaper men do not often have an op-
portunity to go so far away from work as
Chicago, placed myself under the guidance
of a friend who was going on the same jour
ney, and who gave me the assurance of being
IAN old traveller who knew all the ropes,
and more too as he very knowingly and
suggestively remarked.
The Sleeping-Cnr
BY his advice took an upper berth in a
sleeping-car. Now upper berths have certain
natural advantages not to be disputed al
though | remarked that the "old traveller
selected for himself the lower one beneath
me- In case of any defect in the tackling-
tackling is n marine word, not, however, so
very inappropriate in this connection as the
reader may imagine, as the noise made by the
locomotive as it drngs the wheels around
through the air is not unlike the throbbing of
steamers paddle-wheel through the sea-
But as ] have already said, in case the tack
ling should give way and the upper berth
suddenly collapse, the occupant has the advan-
tage, being on top, while the old traveller
in the lower one stands an A No. chance
of waking up dead, as Handy Andy would say.
But upper berths have also disadvantages,
among which are the nice little currents
of cool air coming up on ones back through
the window openings, whilst your face is
being peppered with the fine dust from the
locomotive through the ventilators overhead.
But these are small matters, which the old
traveller didn't find annoying to him in his
lower berth, and which, by the way, do not
exist in the a610 palace cars. 1t requires
some practice to accomplish sleep while the
cars are in motion. did not get much of it
on my journey to Pittsburg, but before 1
reached Chicago became so used to it that
when went to my hotel felt like the boy
who had just returned from runaway sea
voyage and couldn't sleep until his sister
went outside the house and threw water up
against his window panes, to remind him of
the ''bloody waves dashing up against the
bloody windows, you know" Leaving West
Philadelphia at p. NJ, the sleeper passes
through Altoona in the early morning, and
climbs the Aneghenies unconscious Of the
wonders and beauties of the surrounding
scenery; but as he descends the noun
tains from Gallatzn to the head waters Of
the Conemaugh, the sun commences to kiss
the hills, and as its rays glance down the
mountain side, the forest trees covered with
frosted snow glisten and sparkle in the sun
beams like the precious gems of the tabled
Valley of Golconda. But did not sleep.
hoisted the latticed window, and looked out
into the night / saw great fires lighting up
the mountain side, and the coke-burners,
weird toilers of the night, like so many fends
feeding fuel to the blazing furnaces. l saw
great Jets Of flame shoot out into the sombre
night from tall chimneys of great iron fur
naces and ever and anon furnace door
would open, and the blazing, binding, roar
ing light revealed the figure of some brawny
son of Vulcan stirring up the molten metal
within Away out of sight in an instant,
into the sombre grey of the early dawn The
fields, covered with thin coating of snow
and FROST look for all the world like the grass
in stereoseopic pictures. Nature is common
cling to put on its winter coat. As the West
ern trains whiz by the snow-coated Goals
look like Jumps of lime. About this time the
tardy sleepers commence to turn out and