The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1850-1873, 1869-12-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

WELL POSTED The telegraph.
COOP SToCK ACToRs- and
Fisk. sl. -.....
MEN OF MARK-Those "a, can't write
their own names.
WHY is the word Yes'r; 6e mountain
Because it's an assent.
81 AN certain, wife, that am right, and
that your are wrong; I'll bet my ears on
it. Indeed, husband, you shouldn't
carry betting to such extreme lengths"
"No NAN in the nation is more INDEBTED
to the people than I am" said sn old
their money have you taken?" g5r
FACTS prove that the man who insures
his life is more likely to live to an ad
vanced age than he who neglects to do SO.
Insure in the Washington and enjoy life.
WHEN an nl-natured fellow was trying
to pick quarrel with peaceable man,
the latter said Z" never had fuss except
with one man; he was buried at four
O'Clock; it is now halfpast three"
If it is wise to insure your house, where
the chances are only one to a hundred
that it may burn down, it is wise to insure
your life, which must certainly end-you
know not how soon. Insure in the Wash
ington Life Insurance Company.
any dear Lucy, am surprised at your
taste in wearing another woman's hair
on your head" said Smith to his wife.
Ny dear Tom," replied the wife, 81 am
equally astonished that you persist in
wearing an other sleeps wool on your
back"
THE real estate of Charleston for 1869
is Sc, 020, 100, and the total tax on prop
erty and sales $651, 1881. The sales of
merchandise for the year is set down
at nearly $12,O00,OO0. Hotel receipts,
$174, 104; printing Office receipts, $121,-
1899; incomes, $245, 1893.
INVESTIGATIONS once showed that of
seven hundred male convicts in Auburn
prison, six hundred were there for crimes
committed under the influence of liquor
five hundred Of whom testified that using
tobacco wasthe beginning of their intern
perate habits.
A TRICKY politician, who was noted for
never doing anything without a sinister
purpose, having died, the clergyman who
preached his funeral sermon said that it
would have been q great consolation to
the friends of the deceased, if they could
have ascertained his motive in thus sud-
denly leaving them.
A CELEBRATED New York physician
says that Americans are too quiet at their
meals He says: at is a well established
clinical fact that cheerful society at meals
greatly aids digestion. The sympathetic
| influence which exists between the stom-
ach and brain attest the truth of the as
sertiOn."
THE DIFFERENCE
/" Saratoga and Long Brsnch-you have seen them:'
Said Charlie one morning to Joe;
"Pray tell me the difference between them,
For bother my wig If know"
QuOth Joe, Its the easiest matter
At once to distinguish the two
At the one You 60 into the water,
At the other it goes into your
GIVE way for the postmistress of small
town out on the plains. She needs no in
PRODUCTION other than the following ex-
tract from her first quarterly report to the
department: "For weeks past I have
slept with six shooter at my bedside and
q carving knife under my pillow, expect
ing at break-o day the Indians would
come for my scalp, but all of this has not
been half SO harrassing to my mind as the
making out of one quarterly report"
! A PROSPEROUS old grocer of a certain
city having been advised to give his son a
college education, did so. After the young
man had graduated, his father sent him to
New Orleans to look after his sugar in
terests;" and, on reading letter from
him, he exclaimed to the gentleman who
had induced him to send his son to col.
lege, "Just look here, now, and see how
you've made me throw away my money
on this boy, for, after all his college larnin,
he spells ahugdr without an b, every time =