The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1869-12-18
NAsRy

NJ. Nasty az Nc,o York Agu,in-He is
Started an Business 1y the Democratic
Managers: and has Good Thing "a.
has Hands, bats Whisky ,Btsghts has
Prospects, us u has many times Be fore
[From the Toledo Blade.1
New York, Nov. 9, 1861.
Retrospex may be profitable, but when
yoo cast your piercin eye back and onto
a time when you made cussed ass NV
yourself, they are far from bein pleasant.
I am doin that thing at this present mo-
ment. Wunst agin d forchoon has been
within. my grasp, and wunst agin hev I
permitted it to slip from me! Ijcot
Fool Loonatic j arrived in this city
two days before the recent elecshun,
feelin that where votes was in such de-
mand there must be suthin to be made
for me. BY inquiry / found where the
headquarters Nv the Democratic General
Committee for the city wuz located, and
at about 10 A. NJ, which means in the
mornin, I went there intendin to offer
myself ez a man NV all work for the two
days succeedin. I found there vast
crowd Nv men, all NV EN- like me in some
respects varyin NV course in many pints,
but all of the same species. The chair
man Nv the committee was distributin
funds to EN- to be yeosed, and they was
walkin up to get instructions in sort Nv
procession. Noticin that the bizness was
bein done loosely, I dropped into the
procession, aud shoor enuff the man dis
tributin handed me package, sayin !:
esTerrence, be shoor yoo git all up from
the ship-Barney McShane will give yez
the papers for em, and tell yez what
names to vote EN- under!
He he'd mistook me for Terrence some
BODY. Shood undeseve him? Never!
So, slippin the package into my pocket,
I answered, assoomin the Irish brogue !:
esArrah, musha, be jabers my jewel,
I'm the bye! ~
Fortunitly was crowded out before I
had time to air much more Irish. /
wuzn't a success as taken Irishman.
At the foot ov the stairs opened my
package. It wuz greenbax! "This
money" sed to myself, "wuz given nae
to help the coz of Democrisy for that
purpose I'll use it I'll start grocery .
And forthwith, that day, I leesed room
in Democratic locality, purchased a
counter, barl of whisky, dozen tum-
blers, ithograph portrate NV Gineral
Jackson and Gov. Hoffman, and wuz all
ready for business the morning NV the
c1ecshun.
There wuz rush the moment ]
took the shutters down, and I took in
money faster than I ever had before in
my life.
eAt last" sed I to myself, exultingly
sat last hev found my speer. Nasty
yoor in luck I'll drink to my luck"
And took 1snip." Skasely wuz il
down before a ward politishun cum IN
with three or four voters wich he was
takin care NV. They drank, the leede1
of the party askin me to jine EN-, wich
did. Ez they went out [ coodent avoid
drinkin to the success NV the ticket; ther
to the confooshen of Horris Greeley, ther
to the memry of James Bookannon, then
| to the memory Of Franklin Pierce ther
to JEFF Davis, and by this time I found
myself outside of the bar, into the mid
dis ~ she room, IN eanfaaeea s4a.a o.
drunk. Moo York whisky aint like the
Kentucky article.
AT this critikel moment man entered
hurriedly, and seein me leanin up agir
the wall, went behind the bar and helped
himself Seein him behind the bar,
forgot that wuz landlord myself,
knowd / wuz in a grosery-that beir
where am most Nv the time-but in my
intoxication i forgot that wuz landlord
and the miserable wretch behind the ban
comprehendin the sitooashen, let me &c
On in my delooshen. Staggerin up te
| the bar sed, ssset em up agin,o which
he did, and I drank solemnly to the
memry nv George FL. Pendleton and the
other dead Democracy nv my own whis.
ky, and then, like the loonaticI wuz, ]
paid for it out nv my own pockit, and
kept payin for whisky for others ez long
ez had dollar The man behind the
bar then asked me to drink, wich did
! then asked crowd ~ fellows which
come in to drink with me, telling the
new bar-keeper to charge it, wich he sec
he wood, latin uproariously.
Its astonishin how strong habit is
The moment found he'd credit,
commenst improvin nv it. "Set em up.
| I shreekt ez each new squad come in
"Set em up p and the alacrity will
| which they drank wuz wonderful. TIL,
news got out that in sich place ther'
wuz loonatic treatin everybody VIII
came IN, ana perIect StEeam AusuSu Az
i remember but very little nv wat oc
CURED. recollect distinctly ov votiI
three or four times, and nv returnin eacl
time to my place and treatin the crowd
tellin the bar-keeper to charge it. I re
member wunst feelin bad for him, ant
sayin confdentially to man who wa
takin suthin with me. that this hous
wouldn't last long eff it continyood t
give credit miscellaneously, forgettin il
my drunkenness that il wuz my whisk,
and I wuz drinkin and givin to others t
drink all the time!
| / needn't ,continyoo this confession
Suffice it TO say that the next mcrnin
awoke in the same room chilled complete
ly thru. There Wuz no whisky in tn
barrel, mot fenuf for my mornin's nip
and hedn't o cent in hmy pockit, ez
he'd paid all that wuz left NV the commit
I tees money and wat I he'd taken in earl
| in the day for my own Hkker to the fel
low who had taken advantage NV m,
condishn to usurp my place
4 / shell never succeed on that side NV