The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1869-01-06
GLRAKINGs.

Transported for lne-The man who mar
ries happily. .1s'... gen a''.
Can the secret of nature be leaned of
babEng brooks
What is better than promising young
mani A paying one. st t.- Il
Why do-cabmen prefer tall ladieSto short
onesi Because the higher the fair the bet-
ter they like it. l tuare -
Why is it important for phyr.cian to
'9keep his temper4' Because if he did not
he would be very apt to lose all of his pa
tients. E.
Home studies have been cut off from the
Philadelphia school system.
The new cave at Salisbury is now open
for visitors.
A young man advertised for wife, and
received eighteen hundred answers from
husbands saying he could have theirs. This
shows the virtue of advertising. -
What is the difference between an outer
wall of a bridge and two young ladies. The
one is = parapst and the other is-a pair o.
pets-cf course. .
A boy having been remarked for his
quickness at retort, a-gentleman on looking
at him, observed that, 'Fwlien children aye
so keen in Their youth, they gene; ally be-
come stupid as they advance in years. =
''What remarkably sharp boy you must
have been yourself, sir, "Te;orted TIE yorug-
ster The gentleman remembered sn ap-
pointment which required bi5 immediate at
tentIon. f
Mr.. TOot, coming home one night, was
met at the door by his wife;
''Pretty time of night. Mr.. Toot, for you
| to come home-three o'clock in the morn
ing; you, respectable man, and fathes of a
family"
'"Tisn't three-it's only one.''
f'My word, Mr.. Toot, you're drunk. It's
three in the morning."
81 say, Mrs. Toot, Iheard it s:rike one
as came round the. street corner, two or
three times ~
A Temperance lecturer, discanting on the
superior virtues of cold water, remarked:
'eWhen the world had become SO corrupt
that the Lord could do nothing with it, he
was obliged TO give it a thorough sousing in
cold water" ''Yes, J." replied topper pres
ent, 'ebut it killed every critter on the face
of the earth"
j. D. was a stingy old creature, eager for
money, but he WAS jealous member of
church, and ostentatious in his religious ex-
ercises. "John,n said Catha-ine to her
brother, "what could have made that stingy
old wretch Christian Z" 49,.
s'I can tell you," said John. "He has
read that the streets of New Jerusalem are
paved with gold, and he is determined to
get there" o's f.;1 nl te+a a
"When a stranger treats me with want of
proper respect" SAID philosophic poor
man, ''I comfort myself with the reflection
that it is not myself he Sights; but my old
shabby coat and hat, which to say the truth
have no particular claims to admiration
So if my hat and coat choose to fret about
it, let them; 1t is nothing to me-" RI
An oyster was recently raked up off Bull
locks Point, NarragAnsett Bay, with met
al baggage check, of the sort used by the
Boston & Providence Railroad six years ago
grown fast into its she'll Whoever has the
corresponding check, the Springfield Re
publican thinks, will doubtless be entitled to
the oyster. e.r fs.a -. .r
A thirsty quaker having stopped at tsv-
ern to get pot of beer. and observing that
the measure was deficient asked the land
lord how many casks he drew in a month.
s'Ten, ," was the reply. "And wouldst
| thou not ike to draw eleven, my friend ~
"Yes.n ''ThenaI'll tell thee hcw-fll thy
measures" E 1-fl -oa
SamT Cady, of Webster, Iowa, was Bit
ten on, the arm, about month ago, by a
black spider, but was not conscious of inju-
Try until about two weeks afterward, when
the pain became excruciating and death oc-
cured on the 11th ult. His illness resem.
bled hydrophobia in its worst stages. In
his delirium he imagined himself, to be ar
immense spider, and WAS constantly raving
about his web. Ejr-'
Old Roger was visiting a friend who het
a remarkably fine girl, ::about three years ole
famous for smart sayings. As usual, she
was shown of before our esteemed friend
''What is papa 2,=said the parent, in ordel
to draw out the precious reply. 'tPapa's
humbug," said the juvenile. 'T declare,
said old Roger, 81 never in my life saw Sc
= young child with so mature = judgment.