Iowa voter. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1867-1874, 1869-10-28

| There liz one man in this basement
world that alwus look upon with
MKT pheelings ov pity and respekt.
I Pity and respekt, as a genral mix
tur, don't mix well.
You will find them both travling
round amungst folks, but not often
growing on the same bush.
When they do hug each luther,
they mean sumthing. m
Pity, without respekt, hain't got
much more oats in it than disgust
haz.
| ] had ruther a man wood hit me
on the side of the he'd than tew pity
me.
But thare is one man in this world
to whom l alwus take oph mi hat,
and remain uncovered till he gifts
safely by, and that is the distrikt
skOOlmaster.
When meet him, look upon
him az marter just returned from
the stake, or on his way thare to be
cooked. Ua
He leeds more lonesum and sim
gle life than an old bachelor, and a
more anxious one than an old maid.
He is remembered just about az
loug and affeckshunately as a glide
bord IL by a travelling pack pedler.
If he undertakes tn make his skol-
lers luv him, the chances are he will
neglekt their farming: and if he don't
lick them now and then pretty often
they will soon lick him.
The distrikt skoolmaster hain't got
a friend on the fat side ov the earth.
The boys SNOWFALL him during re-
cess; the girls put water in his hair
die: and the skool committee make
him work for haff the mummy bar
ndpr gifts, ard bold him round the
aborhood. wi are they Civ him rhy
coffy, sweetened with molasses, ttw
drink, and kodfish bawls 8 times a
udV IOT NIttleS.
And, with all this abuse, never
herd Of a distrikt skOOlmaster swear
ing ennything louder than-Con-
denim ii!
Don't talk tew me about the pa
shunce ov anshunt JOb! Job had
pretty plenty ov biles all over him,
no doubt, but they were all ov one
breed.
Every yung one in distrikt skOOl
liz a bile ov Il different bre ID, and
each one needs different kind OF
poultiss to git good he'd on them.
A distrikt skoolma-ter, who does
a luare job, and takes his kodfish
bawis reverently, IL a better man
tewday to hav Icing around loose
than Solomon wood be arrayed in all
hiz glory.
Solomon wuz better at riting prov
cribs and managing large family,
than he would be to navigate dis
trikt skOOlhOuse.
Emmy man who haz kept distrikt
skool for ten yeers, and borded round
the naborhood, ought tew be made a
mayer genral, and hav penshun
for the rest Ov his natraI days, and a
boss and Vaughn tew dew his goin
around in.
But, as a gcnral consequence dis
trikt skoolmaster hain't got any more
warm friends than an old blind fox
hound has.
He is jist about as welcome as
tax gatherer liz.
He is respektid good deel eza
man is whom we owe q debt ov fifty
dollars tew and don't mean tew pay.
He goes through, life on back
rode, ez poor ez wood sled, and f.
nally is missed-but what ever be-
kums ov his remains, l kant tell.
Fortunately he liz not often II sens.
alive man; il he wazhe coOdn't emmy
more ketpa distrikt skoOl than he
Good file a crOss-cut saw.
Why liz 1t that these men and
wimmen, who pashuntIy and with
crazed brain teach our re.n0rse!css
/, brats the ttjus meaning Of the alpha
bet, who take the fust welding heat
on their dcstinys, who lay the step
ping-stones and encourage them tew
mount upwards, who havedone more
hard and mean work than emmy klass
on the foOt-stool, who have prayed
over the reprobate, strengthened the
tiinid, restrained the outrageous,
and fiattered the imbecile, who have
lived on kOdfish and vile cOffy, and
hain't been herd to sware-whi is.ii
that thay are treated like vagrant
fidier, danced to for mite, paid oph
in the morning, and eagerly for
gotten? 4m
l had ruther burn a coal pit, or
keep the flies out Nv butchers shop
in the month Ov August, than med
die with the distrikt skoOl bizness. -
Josh Billings. t
Sub-SOil Drainage and Drill