Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1869-04-16
/" Stun ,y-cake."

EFT BIGED, who has written several arti-
cles for the Journal, lately attended a
festival of the Dorcas Society at Bara-
boo, where, in order to get his moneys
worth, he partook too freely of ice
cream, DC. Hear his story of what
came Of 1t:
The next scene 10 this drama is lain
in the Republic office; time, half an hour
after. Owre Porter grooming and with.
ing in intense agony. The cholera sea-
son is not in March, in this latitude; but
he knew we had at least cholera nsob-us,
and no mob of US or any other man was
ever more salient! We have witnessed
the agonies of many and many dem
milton manged body on the battlefield;
we have heard the last dying shrieks of
hundreds of strong men mortallv wound
ed; we have heard the heart rendng
cries of mothers on discovering their
children drowned; we have heard the
supplications of people in shipwreck; we
have heard the horril death rattle in
Ned Forests throat when JacE Cade
dies; we have seen agony and terror and
woe and misery in almost every form
from the gasping throes and shrleks when
a giant kicks the bucket to the pitiful
wailings of an Irshwoman parting from
her son about to be led 10 eAecution,-
but none of these were comparatively
fiea-bi when considered in connection
with the anguish of Oxre Porter after
eating of the .friz puddn', which the
Decreases had called I screan,i Prop
erly named! o curse of all inventions
Our yels brought up passer-by, who
thought there was either crazy assy-
lum or an Irish family located hereup.
He hied to the ashothecarypop and
brought Fred Crouch, of whom we de-
manded horn of prussic acid,-for in
slant death would be browning mercy.
He rolled us forth and back, see-saw,
over barrel, unbuttoned our weskit and
felt our pulse, asked what we'd been eat
ing and says we replied: " scream and
fruit cake, ice cream and pound cake,
peaches and cream and pound and a-haIf
cake. ice cream ard jelly cake, peach,s
and cream and cocoanut cake, ice cream
and hoe cake, peaches and p;tchfork
cake, ice cream and shovel and tongs
cake, ice cream raw, stewed, fried and
on half shell, and plain l scream with
stumanay cake! o give relief and Heav
en- will bless your grocery store!' He
decided our malady to be an iceberg in
the epigastic artery, superinducing frigi
ty of the alimentary canal and total con-
gealment of the entire thoracic region of
the sternum. After being thus dag
nOsed he administered all the renoVating
resolvepts and emetics known to his cab
aistic, from impecacuanha to Old Aunt
Hannah; smeared us with penetrating
but unsayOry unguents; thrust stomach
pump adown our throat's prodigious gull
let as tiremen would a suction hose into
hydrant, and pumped away, pumity,
pumpitY pump, as ihuugh he meant to
fetch that iceberg at one yank of his
pump handle. And q simeon as of
heavy breeze coming over q sea of va
nilla extract encompassed us about; and
the result would have filled twelve bas-
kets.
Nay, marvel as We will; we still live!
but herein enter our remonstrance for
record against ever again being pressed
to gormandize as one of the worthy
poor.
That night Owre Porter awoke, not
like Ben Adhem, /" from a deep dream
of peace" but in a frenzy of terror, and
shouted for another horse" louder
than Richard of Gloster ever did.
" hat under heaven do you want of
another horse?" asked poor frightened
Mrs. P. jabbing her elbow in our ribs:
you've got a night mare, and that
ought to be horse power enough for you
until morning|
Owre Porter was late to his daily Ia
Dor last Saturday morning, and was
heard to mutter all day long against
the tendency Of the head of the Por-
ter family to make demnition fool of
itself.