The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1869-07-22


to charm the bellies of foreign lands with their
superior skill. Why should they be less COM
PLEASANT to the charming young ladies of their
native land A trip could be arranged with
out much trouble or expense, by which the
school could be transported during the sum-
mer along the coast, dividing it's time between
Cape May, Atlantic City, Long Branch, and
Newport. If Admiral Porter wants to be a
future President, he has glorious opportunity
to win in advance the votes which are to be
created when the woman's rights movement
prevails If he enrols the embryo midship-
men in the summer service of beauty and
fashion, he will need no other claim to the
sweet voices of the future female rulers of
America
THE KENWTGS At LONG BRANCH
IT seems to be rather the fashion nowadays
to decry or patronize Mr.. Dickens. Mr.
Justin Mccarthy lately dealt the somewhat
distinguished novelist a very genteel wipe,
and he is but one of a large and growing class
Nevertheless, Dickens has written some things
that will be remembered. Mr.. Kenwigs, for
example, may be considered very nearly
immortal. The mill on the Floss may
as MIR. Mccarthy says, show finer humor
than the best of Dickens books, but nothing
short of the eternal smash predicted by the
preachers can dethrone Kenwigs. He is
the Prince of Yulgarians His strength
is in meekness. So long as prototype of
the collector of water rates exists, an indi-
vidual who has little money to leave to Il
large family of poor relations, so long is it
probable a Kenwigs will be found to boast of
the ale and oysters with which he has regalei
the great man, and to threaten to disown his
patron if he determines to spend his money
as he pleases. TO return to Kenwigs: who
does not recollect that gentleman's mys-
terious but highly decorous proceedings on
a certain interesting occasion? The fashion
of enveloping the knocler or. bell
pull of a house in white kid
glove when the lady of the mansion
has made her bosoms lord peculiarly happy.
may not be known outside of England, but it
everywhere. GAS long as it's boy, too, said
Kenwigs, II don't know but what l won't
have it in the papers. One touch of nature
makes the whole world kin. We all involun-
tarily strike hands with Kenwigs, and say that
it certainly should have gone in the papers,
as it no doubt did, although the historian has
no more to say upon the subject. Then, 4
addition, we have the pleasurable excitement
in Kenwigs neighborhood; the rush of old
ladies to the Presence; their praise of the
doctor; their gracious recognition of Kenwigs
as man-all surely going to make up as gro
tesquely true picture as was ever drawn.
And to see that Kenwigs is like the king
the phoenix, and the earth, that is to say, that
he never dies, that he arises from his ashes,
and that he endureth for ever-all that is
necessary the reader should do is to throw his
eagle glance towards Long Branch at the pre-
sent moment He will there behold an entire
regiment of Kenwigses. The front door
knob of the Stetson House may not be covered
with white kid, but for all that the house has
the highest attraction it has ever had in its
short but brilliant career. General Grant is
there, and, as too often happens, the Ameri
can public scarcely knows how to behave
itself. Like Mrs Kenwigs (our old friends
congenial helpmate), is playful, but, unlike
that illustrious female, it is not severely pro-
per. " We do not think enough attention, enough
uOuOI, Gail De paul IuS l1ftu WIZ, uilCi Nou
preserved this nation. All we can do but
hints at what we feel we owe him, but at the
same time we hate to see these honors paiG
snobbishly and with awant of dignity and de
corum. Republican simplicity is one thing
and want of tact and high breeding is another
We do not desire to see the knee in suppl
ance bent nor its pregnant hinges crooked
before any man, but when we honor let it bt
as gentlemen. Holding this view, when W.
read of the performances of the committee OF
the whole assembled at the Stetson House t.
devise ways and means of showing the Presi
dent the rather limited collection O
Long Branch lions, we were fore eC
to admit painfully that its member
were as like the original Kenwigs as eve,
was. When these well-meaning individual
convened outside the Generals parlor, anC
1 there voted means and supplies the Likeness
became startling. ''As long as it's the Presi
dent we've got" said the committee, ''w,
don't know but what we won't give him
ball"-the analogy is perfect. Now we wan
to know why these arrangements could no
have been made without the whole eountr,
being advised of them, and, beyond all, with
out the distinguished guest being takel
into the conference? The President
intention of visiting Long Branch was know
days ago. 1t is not pleasant Cat least we INA
CINE it is not, for we have never had the har'
luck to be placed in such predicament), bu
,1noa nnff