The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1869-06-07
Ladies' Column.

| auu WluVWS.
A romance Of the middle age-Anc
old maids love letter.
A novelist calls BRIDES tears-Orna
mental water.
Why should people marry in winlcr.'
Because ladies' wants muffs, and gentle
men comforters.
"Comc to this bosom, dearest" as th,
Jouug lady said to the ten dollar gold pin
that turned out to be brass.
Why a woman's dress does not require
any praise. Because it's too much puRed
already.
q lock Of hair from young woman'I
head is often key to young mani
heart.
A young lady studying French, ant
finding that belle" meant " fne," tolt
somebody in letter that We had grca
deal Of belle-wcather lately.
A blade out in tho Western wild:
writes home "Tbe report Of my mar
riage is groundless, and I shall continue
to live on the European plan"
When man and woman are made one
by Clergyman, the question is, which is
the one? Sometimes there is long
struggle between them before this matter
is finally settled.
A little girl attending party was asked
by her mother how she enjoyed herself.
"Oh," said she. II am full Of happiness;
| couldn't be no happier u,,l:ss l could
grow"
A young lady Of Montgomery, Ala
bama, who was caught smoking cigar,
gave it as her reason for the act, "that it
made it smell as though there was man
around"
Ladies don't known whether they like
smoking or not. With special favoritcs
they like it, with general fayorites they
don't dislike it, and with no favorites they
detest it.
A somewhat juvenile dandy said to a
fair partner at q ball, "Don't you think
miss, my mustachcs are becoming q
To which she replied "Well, Sir,
they may bo coming but they have not
yet arrived.
A shrewd old gentleman once said To
his daughter, " Be sure, my dear, and
never marry poor man but remember
that the poorest man in tho world is one
that has money and nothing else."
A young man Of grea. gallantry recent
ly rescued q beautiful woman who was in
danger Of drowning. She stood in high
tied shoes, surrounded by forty springs un.
der watered.silk, with cataract in her
eye, q waterfall on the back Of hor head,
and notion IN her brain.
A batchelor being asked why ho didn't
marry, answered, "that the women were
claiming the right to 60 to the polls, and
they may soon elsim to 60 courting, and
that he was only waiting for good
offer" ~.
A lady in Paris was out Of all patience
and spirits on hearing nothing but French
day after day. One morning she heard
a cock growing, and exclaimed: "Thank
God there's somebody who speaks En-.
glish."
A country sculptor in England was or
dered to engrave upon stone, "a virtu.
ous woman is crown to her husband .
but being pinched for room. the cptiaph
was contracted thus: {" A virtuous woman
is 5s to her husband"
A Cook in New York has given motto,
to the family in which she is employed
that she has made up her mind to 90 [,
Newport this summer, and if the famil,
will 60 there she will stay with them
otherwise. she must leave.
An Englishmau says: "The fair younI
English girl Of the past-ths ideal Q
womanhood. Of home, birth, and breedin,
has passed away, and is replaced by
creature who dyes her hair and paint
her face as the first article Of her persona
religion; whose sole idea Of life is pleas
ure and luxury, and whose dress is the Oh
ject Of such intellect as she possesses"
A country magistrate used 10 tell II,
courta story Of an old lady he once knev
who was very near-sig ght excellent. Ac
cordingly, one day q neighbor stuck ,
darning needle 10 the side Of the barn
and placing her on the opposite side Of th.
road. asked her II she could see It. "Oh
yes" replied the old lady. II can see
the needle easy; but whlrs the barn1'
WHO TO MAnRY.-The longer a wo.
man remains single, tho more apprehen.
sive will she be Of entering into tho state
Of wcdlock. At seventeen or eighteen,
a girl will plunge into it, often without
fear; at twenty, she will begin to think
at tweDty-four, weigh and discriminate
at twenty eight, will be afraid Of ventur.
ing; at thirty. will turn about and look
down The hill she asconded, and sometimes
rejoice. and sometimes repent that lht
has attained that summit.