Middletown transcript., 1869-08-28
SNit and 8umor.
Raining a Banker.

In the troubled days Of Ireland, towards
the close of the last century, daring fef-
low, one Teddy Mulrooney, was at the
head of band Of his desperate and starving
countrymen. who secured the district in
which they belonged. waging merciless war
on the oppressoss Of their country, and
visiting with the direst outrages those who
had the reputation of grinding the faces OF
the poor. lo
One Of the most obnoxious men in the
county where their operations were cons
Quoted, was one Sir Lawrence Wood.
rich man, who had bank of his own, and
was supposed to have amassed an immense
fortune by his financial speculations. In
the course Of their predatory career, Null
rooney's band seized. at various points. a
large amount of Sir Lawrence's notes.
some thirty thousand pounds worth, all
of which they placed in the hands of their
leader TO dispose of as his wisdom thought
best.
One dark night, shout like that of a
thousand demons announced to Sir Law
renee that the rebels had broken into the
park that surrounded his elegant country
seat, while, at the same time. glare Of
light gave him to understand that the in
cendiary torch had been applied to his
dwelling. He was mistaken in that. how
ever, for when he had hurried on his
clothes and presented himself at the hall
door to beg that the lives of himself and
family might be spared, he saw that the
invaders had merely kindled fire of
brushwood on the lawn. But the speeta-
Gle was alarming enough, as the light fell
on a wild group Of fierce men, ragged,
and yet armed with every species of strange
weapon-pikes, pistols, reaping-hooks, and
scythes.
''F'Or Heavens sake" said the seyEihed
banker, "sparc my life! i.,gss -
"Whist! We murtherin' thafe Of the
world " said Teddy. ITS not yer life
we're afther desthroyin'-b it's what 70
live for we'll desthroy before yer eyes, yc
omodhoun. Look there, ye ould divil.
and there and there! what's thin Z" and
Teddy thrust an immense heap of bank
notes under the nose and eyes of the BAN
ker, and then, elevating his torch. took Sir
Lawrence by the nape of his neck, and bent
his head forward SO that he could read the
paper.
They're notes on my bank" said he;
''do you want to present them 7"
ITO make ye prisint of them 2 cried
the rebel. "Do ye think we're afther ma
king fools Of ourselves, whin we've had
the trouble of collectin' yer dirthy paper?
Ma, ye spalpeen! we'll desthroy livery
scrap of 'em up before the eyes of yez."
"For Heavens sake, gentlemen. said
he banker, secretly delighted at the intel
igence, "you wouldn't beggar myself and
amilyr'
'1n course we wouldn't!' said Mulroo-
ley ironically. "No, we come here to
i'll your pockets av course. Look here,
here goes a thousand pounds!" And he
brew a handful of notes into the blaze.
And there's another thousand! and an
ther! and another! Och, there's lashins
f 'em! And there goes the last; and
low ye're as poor as the poorest man among
49,"
The banker affected to be in the great
st agony he tore his hair, wrung his
ands, beat his breast, groaned, and even
jumped up few tears. Teddy watched
i'm with ferocious satisfaction, and when
he sacrifice was completed, exclaimed.
"There, boys, we've ruined him intirely.
md now, ye old thafe of the woruld, 60
0 bed and say yer prayers, and plisint
rames to yez."
With cheer, the midnight marauders.
fter dancing round the expiring bonfire,
etired in high glec, completely satisfied
nth their exploit of "ruining banker.n
ir Lawrence Wood waited until the last
ian had disappeared, then he burst into q
orse-laugh and went up to bed, in the
appy consciousness of being thirty thous-
nd pounds richer than he was five min
tes before. We know not whether Mr.,
iulrooney ever discovered his mistake.
ut the banker had provided against such
contingency and his consequent venge-
nee, by securing the presence of strong
of troops till the troubles of the
ay were over.