The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1869-12-23
JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
Pupp1N AND MILK.

1 W
| lots of pheilows in love who can see
twice as much in their gals as I kan.
The miser is riddle. What ne
possesses he haint got, and what he
leaves behind him he never had.
Good phisiek is like fiddle-it fur
nishes the tune, while nature cuts the
pigeon-wing and cures the patient.
Caution, though very often wasted,
is good risk to take.
Pity IL about the meanest wash that
one man can offer another. 1 had
rather have ten dollar greenback
that had been torn in two twice and
pasted together, than to have all the
pity thare il on the upper side of the
earth-pity il nothing more than a
quiet satisfaction that l am great
deal better oph than you am, and that
intend to keep so.
|, Fortune is like coquette, if you
dou't run after her she viii run after
you.
Did you ever hear a very rich man
sing?
If 1 was going to paint a pictur of
Faith. Affection and Honesty, would
paint mi dog looking up in mi facy
and waggen his tail.
The devil is mean kuss; he never
keeps his own promise, but always
makes US keep ours.
Truth is az artless az child and az
purswasive.
Thare il nothing in this life that
men pay so hi price for az they do
for repentance.
Laws are made, customs grow-laws
hav tew be executed, custome execute
themselfs-laws begin where customs
end.
Men who have good deal to say
use the fewest words.
The road to wealth is highway,
but the road to knowledge il bye
way.
Shame il the dieing embers of vir-
tue.
/ don't know ov better kure for
sorrow than to pity somebody else.
| Experience il grindstun, and it IL
lucky for us If we can get frightened
by, ii not ground.
/ We shouldn't forgit one thing, that
there is nota single fee simple on this
futstool; even the best tooth in our
head may fall to aking before sun set
and have to be jerked out.
Ignorance is the wet nuss of preju-
dice.
Anticipation is constantly nibbling
expekted pleasure until it consumes
4 it; jiss so the skoolboy who visits his
basket during the forenoon too often
has already discounted his dinner.
Inever knu q man troubled with
melankolly who had plenty to dew,
and did it.
! Good breeding. az I understand it,
liz giving every man his dew, without
robbing yourself.
Natur il jist az honest az COW.
Talk little, but listen out loud,
young man, is the way to make the
company suspect you of knowing a
CRATE deal more than you aktually do.
fyou should reduce the wants ov
the people of M York city down tew
aktual necessitys, and plain comforts,
yu would have to double the perlice
force tew keep them from committing
suicide.
People, when they find fault with
theirselfs, are generally more anxious
to be consoled than forgiven, and,
therefore, when a man begins to con-
fess hiz sins to me,r and sez, there
amt no hope for him." tell him he
ought tew know awl about it, and I
guess he is more than half right.
What the world wants il good ex-
amples, not so much advice; advice
may be wrong, but examples prove
themselfs.
Pride is bogus. Adam at ohe time
had right tew be proud, but he let
sin beat him out ov hiz birthright.
A growing hen and caeklin ruester
are very misfortunate poultry in a
family.
AZ a gineral thing, a man who mar
rys woman ov more uppercrust than
himself will find the woman more
anxious tew preserve the distance be-
teen them than tew bring him up tew
her grade or go down to his level.
I Titles are valuable; they make us
acquainted with many persons who
otherwise would be lost among the
r rubbish.
Peace Il the soft and holy shaddel
that virtue casts.
Habits are like the wrinkles On q
mans brow, if you will smooth out
the one I will smooth out the other
It is darned sight easier tew find
, six men who kan tell exactly how a
thing ought to be did than tew find
one who will do it.
Marrying for money is q meaneI
way to git it than counterfting.
Dispatch is taking time bi the ears
Hurry il taking it bi the end of the
tail.
, The miser who heaps up gains teW
J gloat over is like hog in pen fatted
for show.
, AWFUL SLEEPY.-" Clerk" said {
tall Kentuckian to hotel official
"this young woman and me have
eloped. Have you any marryin' fa
cilities around here?"
The clerk replied in the affirmative
and the two were "spliced" in les
than hour. The bridegroom was evi