Weekly Trinity journal., 1869-11-27
Humorous.

humorous.
"CAS'T DO HIssELF JUSTICE. BY the way !
am just reminded of an incident that transpired
on the day that General Hood concluded to defer
bis visit to the g ton" of Nashville. A colored
man who had stuck to the rebel army through
thick and thin, was in high hopes of being able
to march into the city and pay his respects to a
lady who belonged to the upper crust of colored
society, and when he discovered that the be-
slegng army was retreating, he determined to
break through the lines and throw himself on
the mercy of the cruel Yankees He presented
himself to General Thomas, hat in hand, and
standing very straight: "Where are you
the army, sah." 'sWhat army?" tMr. Hoods s
army. sah." ''Where is Mr.. Hood now ~
I" He's leavin', sab, he's eavin'" "Ah!
thought Mr.. Hood, you call him, was coming
into Nashville" "No, sab Mr. Hood thinks
be can't do hisself justice in Nashville"
CLERK" said tall Kentuckian to hotel
Official this young woman and me have
eloped have you any marryin' facilities round
here ~ The clerk replied in the affirmative
and the two were 'spliced" in less than an
hour The bridegroom evidently not yet
satisfied, and fingered around the hotel book
"Clerk," said he confdentially, at length;
" hadn't ye better change the register and give
us one room, now we're married?' ats al
ready done, replied the clerk you re marked
for the same room" Well, clerk" replied
the kentuckian quickly, "wont you just show
me up, then, for I'm awfm sletpy."
COUPLE off to get married. and came
back to the brides house, where she humbly
sued for forgiveness of her father, kneeling at
his feet, all tears. "Forgive me, forgive me,
dearest father ~ sobbed the lovely suppicant.
" Forgive you p exclaimed the old gentleman
"why am only too glad to get rid of YOU
how ri
plague of my life, and make your marriage no
loss to me, my dear child. So take her." added
the old gentleman generously, addressing the
happy man; ''and may you be happy"
One who attended German funniest and was
beguiled into dance, thinks that the Germans
enjoy turning altogether too we'll. I" For three
quarters of an hour did that girl keep me waltz
ing, and only escaped when ! found she had
gone to sleep, and was still dancing away with
all the vigor of her soles. | disengaged myself
carefully from her embrace, and softly whisper
ing Farewell, and gentle, by thy dreams, l left
her dancing, and think she is still waltzing."
MAN locked his wife into an upper room,
and not being satisfied with this punishment,
but wishing to aggravate her still further, sent
his son up with bone. The youth innocently
brought it, and said sMother, father sent this
up, and says there is bone for you to pick"
The gentle mother replied "Take it back and
tell him he is not you father, and there's bone
for him to pick"
A YOUNG man from the ceuntry-who had
never seen any fshbaNs-handed one to his lady
love under the impression it a doughnut !;
after breaking his open he carefully examined it,
then smelt of it, and with sepuchral voice said ::
"Sal don't eat that doughnut, there's some
thing dead in this -
A SuSpAY-scHooL teacher giving lesson
on Ruth. She wanted to bring out the kindness
of Boaz in commanding the reapers to drop large
handfuls of wheat. "Now children" she said,
Boaz did another very nice thing for Ruth
can you tell me what it was ~ Married her n
said one of the boys.
FANNY FERN says {" If one-half the girls knew
the previous lives of the men they marry the
list Of old maids would be wonderfully in
creased" Whereupon the Boston Pos, asks ::
4" If the men knew what their future lives were
to be, wouldn't it increase the list of all the old
maids still further"
SSooKs says there is a marked difference be-
tween birds and women. As an illustration of
this, he cites the fact that bit of looking-glass
on fruit tree will frghten away every bird that
approaches it, while the same article would at
tract more fail than load of cherries.
ESJoYED Ir.-"Tm not afraid of the sparks ~
said one of the merry girls recently, as she was
warned to keep her eyes and mouth shut as the
cars went through the tunnel Mt Salem, Z" for ]
on a smack three times last week and en-
joyed it ever so much"
" I will consent to all you desire, " said face
tious lady to her lover, Ton condition that you
give me what you have not; what you never can
have, and yet what you can give me-" What
did she ask for? A husband.
AN innocent young man, reading an advertise
ment that ladies' hose coming down still
lower, wished to know why the wearers did not
endeavor to prevent such calamity by wearing
elastics.
NEW YORK church which lately tried the ex-
pertinent of having the contribution boxes passed
ny handsome young ladies, is now called 60 The
Church of the Holy Waiter-Girls.''
AN anti-hymeneal punster says that the re-
examinations of married people resemble the
SOUNDS OF the waves on the sea-shore-beiug the
murmurs of the ted
HAVE you sister? Then love and cherish
ner with holy friendship. If you have not
SISTER OF your own, then love somebody else's
sister.
The principal occupation of the "girl of the
Perioa Is said to be to sit at the window and
watch for the ''coming man."
ANNA STORY was recently married 70 Robert
Short. 0'0'y
ARE you fond of tongue, sir?' uI wac al
: ways fond OF tongue, madam, and like it still.
BABIES are the coupons attached to the bonds