North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1869-05-12


VOLUME XIII---NO. :
inlaid table on the splendid Turkey carpet,
and, scarce knowing what did, attempted
to stop its progress with my white pocket
handkerchief. In the height Of my con-
fusion we were informed that dinner was
served up, and with Joy then understood
that the bell which at first had 50 alarmed
my fears was only the half hour dinner
bell.
In walking through the hall and suite Of
apartments of the dining. room had time
partially to collect my scattered senses,
and was desired to take my seat between
Lady Burton and her eldest daughter at
the table. Since the fall Of the wooden
Xenophon my face had been continually
burning like frebrand and l was just
beginning to recover myself, and to feel
comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for
accident rekindled all my heat and blush
es. s
Z Having set my plate Of soup too near
the edge of the table, in bowling to
Miss Dinah, who politely complimented
me on the pattern of my waistcoat, l dis
charged the whole scalding contents into
my lap. In spite Of an immediate supply
Of napkins to wipe the surface of my
clothes, my trowsers were not stout
enough to save me from the painful effects
of this sudden fermentation, and for some
minutes my legs and thighs seemed stewed
in boiling caldron. At last, when the
pain began to abate. l managed to bear it
in silence, and sat with my lower extremi-
ties parboiled, amidst the stiaed giggling
of the servants. ~s2 ztyes 40
will not infiict upon my reader rela-
ton of all the blunders which l made du-
ring the first course of my spilling a
sauce boat, upsetting salt>cellar, etc.;
rather let me hasten to the second course,
when fresh disasters quite overwhelmed me.
had piece of rich sweet pudding on
my fork. when Miss Louisa Burton beg
ged to trouble me for a pigeon that stood
near me. In my haste, scarce knowing
what did, whipped the hot pudding in
to my mouth. 1t was impossible to con-
ceal my agony my eyes were starting
from their sockets. At last, in spite OF
shame and resolution, l was compelled to
drop the cause of torment on my plate.
Sir Thomas, has sons, and the ladies all
compassionated my misfortune, and each
advised different application. One re-
commended oil, another water, but all
agreed that wine was best for drawing out
the heat and a glass of sherry was order
ed me. The glass was eagerly seized by
me; oh how shall l tell the sequel !
Whether the butler by accident mistook,
or personally designed to drive me mad,
he gave me pale brandy, with which l
filed my mouth, already aayed and bis
tered. Totally unused to any kind OF
ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat and
palate as raw as beef, what could do?
could not swallow. and clapping hands
upon my mouth, the liquor squirted
through my nose and mouth like foun-
tain over all the dishes-and was crush>
ed by bursts of laughter from all quar-
ters.
In vain did Sir Thomas reprimand his
sons and the servants !; in vain did Lady
Burton chide her daughters for the meas
ure of my shame and their diversion was
not yet completed. To relieve me from
the iltslerable state Of prespiration which
this accident had caused, without consider
alton wipe my face with that illfated
handkerchief, which was still wet from the
consequences Of the fall of Xenophon, and
covered all my features with inky streaks
in all directions. The baronet himself
could not support this shock, bnt Joined
his lady in the general laugh while l
springi.:g from the table in despair, rush
ed out of the house, and ran home in All
agony of confusion and disgrace which
the most poignant sense of guilt could not
have excited.