The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1869-04-04
WE AND w1sDoar.

4 - Az bs1ch hcstAN- luafCcf@~--t5 brains.
A great composer --chlcroform
The best policy for Turkey Eat it. As
A Cow Bella beautiful milk-maid.
What letter Is most like a donkey H..
The Latest Thing in Dresses - Night
dresses.
| A lie bsgets lie till they come to gener-
ations.
The opposite of the seeds of discomfort
Care-away seeds.
What soup would cannibals prefer9 The
broth of boy.
What kind of a eat may be found in every
ibraryf Catalogue.
Why is qnack like n leeemetive? He
cannot get on without putting.
Pete5 is you into them sweetmeats
again ]" No, marin, them sweetmeats is
into me.n
Where is money FIRST mentioned in the
Bible Where the dove brought the "green
backn to Noah.
+ man proposed to publish new paper,
to be called the Comet, with an original tale
every week. aea
Mr.. Bergh, the cruelty-to- animals man,
Is 80 very philanthropic that he won't even
beat his carpets.
| Envy is Httleness of soul, which cannot
see beyond q certain point, and If it does
not occupy the whole space, feels itself ex-
Guided.
A Poughkeepsie lover whites to his sweet
heart In this manner, eleven years is
rather long to kort gal, but I'll hey You
i yit, Sal"
some subject, we do not now remember
hat, exclaimed: "It's true, for ma says
so and If I.s says ~ it 10 so If it Amt SOL
A beggar woman, coming into house
where, Nellis was sitting alone, asked for
charity. Charity I" said Nellie. al guess
we are most out"
Two spendthrift young men were discuss
ing the character of close-fisted uncle.
"Well,n said one, !" if his heart ever falls
into his stomach, it is hard enough give
him dyspepsia"
During trial, in which the Court had
repeatedly. ruled against the late James T.
Brady, he blandly asked, May it please
your Honor, who's engaged on the other side
of the case besides the Judge 7"
A Yankee peddler in his cart, overtaling
another of his class, was addressed, Halo!
what do you carry ?" Drugs and medi-
cines,n was the reply. !" Go ahead,n was
the rejoinder, " carry grave-stones.n
"Papa,n said a boy, "what is punctua-
ton n " 1t is the art Of putting stops, my
child" "Then 1 wish you'd go down into
the cellar and punctuate the cider barrel
as the cider is running all over the floor.
A Freedman, wishing to speak of the
cream of the English poets, forgot the word
in his enthusiasm, and said " The butter of
poets.n An Engiishman remarked that he
had fairly churned up the English Ian
guage.
There is q man out West who has moved
SO often that whenever o covered wagon
comes near his house his chickens all fall
on their backs and cross their legs, ready
to be tied and carried to the next stoppiHg-
place.
"How do you like me now Z" asked a
belle of her spouse, as she sailed into the
room with a sweeping train of muslin fol-
lowing her. q Weli,s said he, g to tell yon
the truth, it is impossible for me to Ike
you any longer"
A coffin maker was asked whom he was
making coffin for, and mentioned the in
tended occupant. "Why he is not dead 7"
said the querist. 'tDonit you trouble
yourself" replied the other. =" DR.. Coe
told us to make his coffin, and guess he
knows what he gave him.
"Dar are," said sable orator, "two
roads through dis world. De one am a
broad and narrer road dat leads to perdi-
ton, and de udder am q narrer and broad
road dat leads to sure destruction" elf
dat am de case" said a sable nearer, dis
cullud individual takes to the woods"
An honest farmer was invited to attend
q party at the village squire's one evening,
where there was both vocal and instru-
mental music. On the following morning
he met one of the guests, who said, Well,
farmer, how did you enjoy yourself last
night Were not the QuarSettes excel
lent Z" Why, really, sir, can't say" he
replied, " for 1 never tasted 'em; but the
pork-chops were the finest ever ate"
An old elergyman-more distinguished
for. his piety than for the elegance of his
oratorical delivery-once read aloud from
his pulpit hymn, in which occurs this line:
"Life's like shadow--how it flies :"
But, pausing in the middle of the word
shadow to take breath, the venerable par
son astonished his hearers by what seemed
to read:
"Life's like sllad; oh /! how it flies :"