Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1869-12-31

Escope, cGeerge2p give been shaving,
| father, and 1 want to see if there are any
hairs in the lather yet"
s".'THAT's pretty bird, grandma, said a
| little, boy I" Eyes" replied the old dame,
Il" and he never Icries.'p GgThat's because
he's never washed" rejoined the young
Aster..
MEANS OF SGRAcE.La Jones'" said
Mrs. r.. with an air of triumph, /" don't
you think marriage is means of grace ?"
/" WE'LL 1yes,p gTowled Jones, / suppose
| anything is means of grace that breaks
down pride and leads to repentance" =. =
I LiFE Assurance Companies not only
undertake the equalization of life, but
also the return O. the sums invested with
compound interest They are capitalists,
constantly looking out for long invest
ments, and well organized to deal profit
ably in securities-DR. FARR- The
Washington is one of them.
A HYMN book lately published by the
Spiritualists makes an attempt to combine
an index of authors and an index of first
lines, occasionally abbreviating the latter
to save space, with some very curious re-
suits. References are given TO-
lOVcS-DSrtST
Have ye heard ofthe beautiful Anaanda z Jones'"
"Oh, Hove the sparkling-Mrs. Cora Danitls.'
"Wecome, we come from Hudson 1Mtae."
AN editor says: CAT our BARRIERS yes
terday morning there was an old chap
with a head as smooth as billiard ball.
Il say now, George snarfed he, part my
hair evenly There isn't much left to
part said the verbose George. You have
always said that, and yet you have fin
ished by parting it somehow, and / guess
you can now No use to try, sir, but III
tell you what I'll do; I'll make line with
a pieceef red chalk % Is
If loving thee's crime dear maid,
Then must guilty plead
= = And, as I've no defense to make,
No counsel shall need.
The charges cover many years
An old offender I
:. cannot one of them disproye,
x = SAnd don't intend I'd try
81 But criminalsafe now sometimes,
Ere sentence on them's passed.
Allowed to make little speech,
Though it may be their last;
49,. And this is mine: -"I pray the court,
+ ~'''@- Though light my crime may be,
My sentence is for life-a that
pass it, love, with thee'
A STORY is told of a Scotch dog which,
Whenevera penny WAS given, him, used to
go at once to a baker with the coin in his
mouth, when, on. dropping it, the baker
would give him penny roll. On one &C.
casion the baker cheated him, taking his
penny but only giving him a half-penny
roll and then the dog went and fetched
policeman Another case of canine in
stinct may be given. A lady in London
had 'favorite poodle, which carried her
letters from a postman to couch in the
lady's parlor. On one occasion the lady,
to her establishment, observed the favorite
dog putting the only letter it carried into
the fire, instead of putting it on the couch.
Amazed, she rushed forward and rescued
the letter, although nearly half burned !;
and, 10 and behold, it was dog tax sched-
ule
AN individual who wished Chief Baron
POLLOCK, of the British Court of Ex-
chequer, to resign his seat on the bench,
limited to him that such step might
greatly prolong his valued life. The old
Judge arose and said, with great gravity,
"Will you dance with me?" The guest
stood aghast as the Lord Chief Baron,
who prided himself particularly upon his
legs began to caper about with youthful
! vivaeity. Seeing his4yisitor standing sur.
! prised he capered up ito him land sssids
We'll, If you won't dance with me, will
you box with ~" and with that he
squared up to him, and, half in jest, hall
in earnest, fairly boxed him out of the
room. The old Chief Baron had no more
visitors anxiously inQuiring after his
health, and suggesting his retirement.
'iTHE Birmingham (England) Post gives
some curious figures, showing that the
worse people are clothed the more they
drink; or, it may be, that the more they
drink the. worse they are CLOTHED. III
1860, the home Consumption of cotton ID
Great Britain was, in round numbers
218,000,000 pounds. In 1868, it was 1O7
100000 pounds. This, says the writer
I shows that the richest nation in the world
is in rags, and the reason is, that they
drink what they should wear. In 1850
they spent e79,541,29O on alcoholic
7 liquors in 1868, this amount had increased
to e102, 886g8o The increase of drink. il
about 20 per cent. the decrease of cottor
for home consumption, 30 per cent. An
other fact equally significant lis given
When immense Quantities of grain art
imported, and the poor i'm many splacei
are wanting food, the brewers and distil
lers are busy in making large fortunes
i In the CALIFORNIAN DistillerN at-Edinburgh
+ for example, 1000 gallons OF spirits ar,
manufactured weekly, or 100000 pei
annum. The quantity of grain destroyed
lis SCO,e00 bushels, andsall theWork is dom
by 100 men.