National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1869-09-10
Miscellaneous Items.

/
declaration precedes the attachment.
When I find a real handsome
woman engaged i'll the 'wimmin's
nights Dizziness, then 1 am going
to take mi hat under my arm and
JIne the procession Josh Billings.
n Texas editor,on being asked how
he got along with his paper, said he
had written one editorial and shot
three men i'll the previous twelve
mouthA
Diamonds IN the Rocky Noun
talns, ls the last report from that
auIiterous region.
A Connecticut mstron is charged
with scraping her child to death
with clam shell.
Beecher says if he owned another
farm he would be on the high road
TO the poor house.
Grapes are ripe in Vineland, n. j..
and lunches weighing half u pound
are sold for three cents.
In every European lunatic asylum,
there Is said to be u maniac who i'm
agines himself Abraham Lincoln.
A Canada sheriff having a writ of
attachment against the estate of %
dead man, seized his widows artifi-
clal teeth.
The Cubans in New York arc
extremely vexed ut the United
States government refusing to help
the island patriots.
An Arkansas father proposes to
name his baby after Theodore Tilton
tor one years copy of the Independ-
eut gratis.
Mira, Fred. Douglass IS described
as a beautiful brunette, whom nine
persons out of ten would pronounce
white woman.
There Is a man who labors under
the delusion that Hon. before Is
mans name stands for honest. He
ought to be in the museum.
Henry Clay's cradle was a bread
tray on rockers, and Millard Fill.
morc's WAS sap trough made of u
haliscctlon OF tree, without rock
erS.
The Syracuse Journal reports the
running of All express train on the
New York Central railroad seventy
one miles III seventy eight minutes.
Theodore TiIton says that Anna
Dickinson can make delicious bread.
Let her do IL then. Better that than
reserve all her crustiness for her foes.
Drink nothing without seeing it,
sign nothing without reading it,and
make sure that it means no more
than it says.
In any business never wade into
water where you cannot see the bot
tom.
Keep clear Of man who does
not value his own character.
a lawyer In q certain city in Con.
nccticut, not remarkable for his
cleanliness Of person, appeared at q
party a while ago with rose in his
buttonhole. w here do you suppose
1t came from 7 said he to brother
lawyer who was admiriDg it. The
latter looked up and down the entire
length of the questioner, and with
great dellberation responded, why
| suppose it grew there
\ Litchheld, Conn, clock dealer,
lately sold clock to an Irish wo.
man who walked OIL with it under
her arm. On her way she turned it
bottom upward, and IA wire dropped
from its position, causing the clock to
strike without intermiSsion. There.
upon she returned in trouble, com
planning to the merchant. Sure an
It's crying after ye already
A keen observer has discovered
that BE, n caught the hay fever
by taking his text from Timothy.
\ loving wife writes home from
Long Branch: THE horrid surf
stops my mouth Brute OF hus.
band replies Bring some of it homo
with YOU
A Chinaman's opinion Of trial
by .iury 'One of the men was silent;
the other spoke all tho time, and
q the twelve sagrs condemned the man
who had not said anything
Judge Jcfiries, sentencing n man
to death for stealing u watch, added:
You grasped ut time but have
caught cternityF
IL il a great waste Of raw matcri.
ais to put ten dollars worth Of bcav.
or on ten cents worth of brains.
Irish matc-'IIow many iv ye
down hcrrcp Voice from the hold
Three, sorr Matc-.Thin half iv
ye come up here immediately
Old Slate computes that the
amount of whisky destroyed Mt the
philadelphia fire would have made
1000, 900 straight drinks; and ut
10 cents u glass the whole would
amount to 800, 900, 400, or sum suf.
iicient to extinguish more than one.
third of the National debt.
, A man whose pocketbook con.
3. tanned the name of James Reed, aud
/. whose baggage was marked for
| Point Levi, +. O., fell dead in the
1. | q u. IL El.... 4 a.