The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-08
THE BACHELOR BUsINEss--PRoFEssION-
AL CELIBACY.

far from having q monopoly oil proieS-
sional celibacy. Every day we come
across men in society whom we in
stinctively recognize as absolutely be-
vond the pale eofmatrimony. 1t is true
they have taken no VOWS upon them
and It is fist rs we'll, for they are not ri
all the men to be religiously bound by
VOWS under extraordinary temptations,
But they carry sort OF Cain mark sci
upon their brows ws-conspicuous enough
to female eyes ut least-so that no wo-
man shall marry them. Not that they
are unconscious of the advantages ol
money, or insensible to the attraction
of beauty. without something of the
former, their occupation would be gone
and their lives blank; and as for the
second, they often profess themselves
its most devoted admirers. They are
by no means Indifferent to their own
personal appearance.
Nomadic in their habits as Arabs, al
though their forte lies rather in receiv-
ing than in offering hospitality, their
wardrobes are necessarily compact and
portable, but they contain no garment
that is not unexteptionable in cut and
fit. Their slightly worn gloves alone,
masterpieces of .Dumont and Jouvin
fits. are a little fortunate to those who
claim them as their perquisite. Thcy
are generally pretty comfortable IN
their circumstances, you seldom hear OF
disagreeable esclandres with their
trades people, or of suspicious paper
bearing their names floating i'll doubt
full quarters. They have lived through
race Of folly in which weaker and
more unlucky men have come to grief
long ago, and their eye to the main
chance is very much keener than when
they started in life many years before.
They were richer then, but since shen
they lave sown and reaped many crop
OF wild oats; they have bought their
farming experience dear, but now that
it is purchased and paid for, at least
they are wise enough to profit by It,
Like Ulysses, they have loitered about
among men aud lounged through many
| cities.
With all these social attractions they
are admitted trustingly into the pene-
tralia of female society. With much
more of the serpent than the dove in
their composition, they are permitted
20 glide among the fairiest flowers Of
Paradise, tor they are supposed to have
lost their fatal fangs. The most austere
and hard-eyed chaperone smooths her
front and disarms her vigilance as she
sees them. exchanging atfectedly pas
sionate glances with her pretty charges,
or breathing soft nothings among the
very roses in their hair. 1t is lesson
with the foils, and nothing more-sse-
| ful practice for more serious work.
| The gentleman admires the graceful
outlines, the taultless features, of some
Edith con de cygae, but it is an object of
art, as if he were before the Venus de
| Medici in the tribute to Florence; nor
does she quicken her pulse by single
beat. On her side the lady never
dreams of him as a possible husband,
and would as soon think of being led to
the altar by the patriarch OF the Greek
| Church.
Charms and compliments glance
alike from each, as arrows from the
plates of an iron clad, and they separ
ate the best friends in the world, but
nothing more. Indeed, it could hardly
| be given to mortal beauty, unaided by
enchantment and love portions, to effect
| such a conquest. The professional
bachelor is the embodiment of weari-
ness so highly cultivated as to amount
to folly. Probably in early life he has
left i'm some trap portion of his tail,
and since then it has been the great
| aim of his existence to cultivate char
acter for stoicism which has been his
s.open sesame" to the circles in which
| he moves. But if he makes soring
and miss it. there would be nothing
| left him but to sink out of society. He
| is become so suspicious that it is utter
| ly IN vain to spread snare for him; did
he fancy any symptoms OF a design to
him into an arrangement, he would be
| satisfied that, all appearances to the
| contrary. it must be bad bargain for
| him. He would see social birdlime on
every twig, and repel the advances of
an heiress ready to marry him without
a settlement, as the crowd declined to
| buy the sovereigns of the gentleman
who was selling them for shillings for
| wager. Should he by any miracle be
| so far left to himself as to make love In
earnest, he woulc never succeed In
| convincing the lady that he was not
the victim of practical joke in the
worst possible taste.
| She would never receive the declara-
tion seriously; protests and VOWS would
| only make her laugh oil cry, and des-
pair and suicide would be attributed to
a coincidence rather than broken
heart. Gentlemen ofthis sort are quite
conscious of the tacit understanding
that places them on so brotherly loot
| ing with the fair sex. When they af-
feet to act the love-sick Romeo to the
simulated languishing of a Juliet, they
are quite aware that it is only bit of
by play, which must not inter upt the
main action of the piece. When the
| gentleman who may turn out to be the
| hero approaches the heroine, they have
| L. - n axrn
! him in the field, IN case he should care
to throw the handkerchief. If they
lose the pleasure of love-making, at
least they are spared the pangs of jeal-
ousv. If appetite is impaired, it is the
liver and not the heart; late hours, and
not blighted affections. Their lives
flow along easily enough; and, as a
rule, mind at peace with themselves
and all the world leave them wonder
fully good digestion.
The profession has its drawbacks even
at its best, but the great objection is
that man retrogrades instead of ad-
vancing in it. All along he has held
his own in q manner upon suffer
ance, and been admitted to circles high
er than his natural one on the strength
of gifts much the same as those ofa
Partisan Quatorzieme. Thousands ol
men who have shone as very much les
ser lights, were just as well dressed, as
pleasant and as good humored as him
self, and much more clever. Unluckily
even such qualities as he has deteri rate
with time, and course of late hours,
good dinners and heavy suppers is an
admirable training for the blue devils.
He has no mental resources lying be-
low what used to sparkle on the surface
and fits ofdepression become longer and
more frequent. Should he be found ont
in these more than once, should hi:
friends, by comparing notes, convert
suspicious into certanitics, and pro.