The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-07-29
HUMOROUS.

LIVE 10 q AaN5 90 "a wv
fish criticism:
devotion to Burns, Macdonald could
not, except In the most grudglng way,
be got to concede merit to any other
poet whatever; somewhat as a knight
of old, did his eyes but chance to stray
TO a rival beauty, might suspect In
himself derelection and some dishon-
or therein done to his peerless Dull
cinea. Shakespeare r. he would
say dubitatively. weel-a-weel!'
Shakespeare Nae doot a very great
poeti i wadna just ventur to say oor
Rabbie Burns, of course) Guild haze
written Hawmlet; but there's aye twa
WAYS O. putin a thing. Honestly,
did We really think moo with q twin
kle ia the keen gray eye, OF 1ronical
humor, presumably, more prob
ABLY OF intense conyction) Shakes
peare Guild hae written Tam
g. Shanter? Dell the fears o him.
'Shakspeare's superior claims We're
thus to be considered n~eutralized, if
not entirely disposed of. Lesser and
later men were much more peremp-
torily set aside. For Tennyson his
expression of contempt was extreme,
and once-the book being at hand-l
remember he effectively illustrated
his position by a reading of Airy,
Fairy, Lillian" Working his Scotch
with vigor, and carefully emphasizing
any little points of weakness-for
which he had the keenest eye-he
produced, with much ease. a detest-
able caricature, which nearly made as
all expire with laughter. Then, of
course, he triumphed. Laugh ava /,
ladsi Deed We may weel laugh at
him. o, but, but it's wersh, wersh,
that kin o. thing to put beside the
like O. Rabbie; [ tell t ye he was nae
poet"
That old story concerning the very
old maid is revived, and with good
effect against the Democratic party.
The old maid wanted a husband. She
waited until her patience was ex-
hausted, and then she went into the
orchard to pray, and the burden OF
her supplication was, Send me a
husband" An old owl, in the tree
above her, said, Hoo, hoo" The
old maid, thinking that heaven had
heard her prayer and wanted instruc.
ton, replied. Any one thou pleasest
to send" The Democratic party Is
ia the same fix for a leader, and
reply to the Hoo, hoo" anybody,
good Lord.
The writer of Echoes from the
Continent" in the London Morning
Herald, is more frank than delicate
in his notices Of the Empress of the
French. He says that when at Rouen,
Her Majesty said to nj. ANGEL, De-
putty for Havre: Il should much
like a draught of CIDER " But
Madame, allow me to remark respect
fully that your Majesty has just had
some champagne, and that mixture
might -" Is it for my head OF
my stomach that you fear?' Your
stomach, Madame" In that case
fear nothing; my stomach is as solid
as that of a sailor" Upon this the
Empress quaffed off a glass of the
local nectar, the Outstanding courtIer;
raising an admiring chorus of "QueLt,
belle digestiORi ''-(What fine diges.
tion.)
An Ex-Governor of Ohio. noted 81
an advocate of total abstinence, once
had his s~ympathies aroused by an un
fortunate inebriate who had buried
three wives. The Lord has indeed
deeply afflicted you" said the Gov
ernor. The mourner, sobbing, re
piled: Yves, he has" and pausinl
a moment and wiping his nose, con
tinued, but [ don't think the Lore
got much ahead of me, for as fast a
he took n | took another"
Victor Hugo has addressed tn
Pope in a scathing epigram. in which
after calling him the Servant of tn
Lamb and Guardian of the Dove: IA
old man whose hairs are tossed abou
bv the breezes from the tomb" h
winds up with the following fearfu
anti-elimax: AT this hour, o dis
penser Of infinite pardons, that whic
pleases your heart, and which 20
bless, is a gun killing a dozen men
minute.
"A little uptown five year old, wi
was hungry one night recently, just
bed time, but didn't wish TO a:
directly for something more to ca
put The proposition in this wa
Mamma. are little children wi
starve to death happy after they die
"A good big slice of bread and butt,
was the answer.
A youth, on his first visit to POI
land, saw the land across the barbC
and cried out to his father: fathC
amt that Cuba over there, where
the molasses and oranges come from
The noble sire turned upon his VIC