Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1868-04-03
sAsBY
NAsBY.
The NEW Ham mpshire E1ection-The
Preparations fer q RrOCe sston
which Did Net Take Place.

From the Toledo Blade,
WAsBlxarov, ID. c. March l5,. 1868.
. Probably the happiest party which ever
. assembled in this vale Of teers, wuz in the
White House on Che night dv the eleckshun
In Noe, Hampsheer. 1t wuz gay and fes.
tive sceen. Hilarity raiued. The Pfesi
dent, with a nnwonted snils onto III fsce,
bis nose shiain With a, ,pretsraateral briIian-
cy, his eyes sparkiin With fife thas could
only come fteM . sclsssarchasgedD with joy
I add askiD tolerAbly full w whiskg, xalked
up and down the room, rubbin Els hands
with gice that Good not be repressed. sf%~
II "lsali psparci?' asked Randall. nv :
humble, 10 .kia cuss that does share w his
managin, lhe wnz originally paid by Mrs.
4 Cobb but sence her ontiaely fniyoor ia
biznis Ne is allowed tie easnias Nv Que daY
j 10 each " opth uy whisky inspector. in Moo
5'Yorx = IL everything arranged r be- ~
IL, yoor Eggslency-' Ito these feliers
all the high Offices are "Esgslencies.'')
| IS the powder prokured for one hundred
gunsg" y 's ~
at Is, voor Eggslency."
/ is the rockets drawsd fsom the Navy
Department to be fred from the dfTeren.
parts nv the city to show the Spontaneous
euthoosiasm ~ M
"They is, yoor Eggslency.r
l "Hev the Department clerks bin notified
thatit Will be we'll for EN- to gladly fall into
percession when His Eggslency, the PRESS
dent. is 10 be sereraded, ef shcy desire to
keep ther rlacesf' ~ - = ss
| "They hev.r .yn.,n~, -.
/ " Hev the transparencie. painted With lhe
proper inscriptionsg Did vou see one i'm
scribed 3Sineiair's majority 3,0eO if' Moo
ampsheers protest agin impeachnens7'
"They her, and did,"
9Tken;y" said Randall rs'an issiu read.
nsM. IAs brass bead L.nknsw ere. in
waitin, Stanbeiry writ tie Presidents speech
this mornin, and he hez II tolerafiy eli ~
heart, and The jo1ifeashsu sanst % ssf.
smooth and p2sasant.""a -.... -, s
AZ this moment the President approached.
| "Ha!" sed he, " IN one rnwe snort lhouy
Washisgton viii b alise with JOS. and the
country. will breathe free. MOO sHampsheer
hez spoken. IN hour We shai hey the
glad intelligence thal sbs Aes besn troo %
co0stooslsen e. | sxpound itr-that she hez
rebuked Samner and Stevens, and Wade,
and SIGH, and sed in thnnder tones to the
impious wretches, Who wood, in me, pull
down the rillars nv the government, stay
yer franticidie hands, The thot oyerpow.
| ers me. Let's take suthin." g
A half hour We spent IN innocent hilari-
/ ~. The President showed The ihoroughYiis
NV his reconversion 10 Democrisy by taken
hizzen strate. with nothin in it, while Seward
betrayed his origin, and Bin consekent onre-
| liability, by drinkina some kind nv . lite
wine With no morebody into i than wood
be in waterred cider.
"coufusion 10 Wade!" exclainsea' sAe
President hol in up his glsss SD vaschia
the bsads rise "a the surface Eith pleased
I. Nos aampsbeer n seda ssw.ss, ssnay
Coanecdesa esny feArdr ths vprk sLe hes.
sour odsses,S sed Randall, long nay
we hold em.n s Y9. n
Kentucky. sa;d |, allus troo; tho al
other States may desert Dimocrisy, Ken.
tucky win be .kIthful ssmoag ths faiaAi1
fosua. Her distillsries stteat her stsadfasts
And in such tossss tie 50 minutes passsd
away. 8 ~ sir- .;8s
A private sekretary entered.
| A dispatch from Moo Hampsheer ~
"Ha., said Randall, sseain il, @ncw
tEemble Abolishinisui, quake Stevens, for
your time is come! Exhalt your horn,
Dimocrisv. for the reskshun is hefef'
The gentle and trustfnl Sekretary opened
| il, read moment, turned pale and fell .
fantin on the floor. Seward glanced at Il
and gaspin This is the end Nv life" (which
he intended for his last wOrisj fall likewise
prostrate. The President snatched Il from
Seward's hands and tainted across the ress
nv en-, and Welles, seein The President faiat
| did it becoz the President did, without read
in il. welles takes physic every tins ne
| President does. ed
Unmatched The dispaEch and read i uyself,
forsr Psussssr:-4ls - skp. Hs.
ded duck. HArriuaA. y yaleteA hRsahaRt
3,0O0.y The reeckshen got stuck in 8 notch
Nv the Whine Mcunt1fns. Psy NJ FuIssnz
svg&a&g ~ dgpc~sfs srAeuMAsnl' 81
{. .Ettaria stiagin cuss st psan and Burr
| and them fellows who bad deceived 'uS mo
. 6eleefthat Noo Hampst6er vusssa1s,l
s0t About os4b<insiag o. sn to-s TAas Press
| ident was The longes = comm out Nv the
faint. Sadly Mey 11z, one after smother,
their deis clshdB csuanstin povsafnlly -
the hilIasity nv AnaQont .aiors.
Ripgin a bell, Ran3eli sed to thS c5erk
who ansercd it. ez folloes: o. sen
You may infoem the bands thai il amt
necessary for en- to longer wait. The men
attendin the artillery may retire to the
bosoas ov their kniliss, and those vaitin 70
| be formed into spontaneous processious nay
| be dismissed. The President hex decided
NOT to be serenaded to>nite.1 - s. atssa
Jest then band vua hsasd approsehis.
" Thunder,!r sed Randall. " dare they paly
without orders ?"
But We discovered shst i3wss - shsofs
fshal band. A pescsssion xax soon pass-
in afoye the White House headed BY tran
sparency, onto which wus : dead duck, with
sfaee wondesfally like his EgesasneyA. a,sd
the band behind WIZ Rlaxi9 dead marches
and sich, With muflled drum4 -Four 0mes
shsse htsstl;s cusses passs1 supssnA Asn
| afore the White House. sax g1. Il ss,s,..
is it not hidy " seJ the President.
take matters into yosif eSn hARds-yoo
weul6 assesi9s ~ vssk sfafs11ssnAs vilA
ths .asHl HlinaahenAer ARotee c0rs lsxxfE.
/ nv piereshse .. sW9yNJSGysU U1tsnls
! 10 e. e., vh1&ssslh il.sslv sspshle ~
ov tlBe armies, WY iaiid you ss1mpf fetid>
sAunf WAsMyoos sastehsp1na 70 hu(1as 6tan>
tea ouG, hedu't 700 ssase seaf to kns V that
| it made direct ishoo Atyeen. 700 and the
| AbIishnists rom which they Good not escape
sd thss ycor dsnth OF Asrin vuz ilsvitable?
! Zoo made il nessary for en- tQ slay yoo, end
in trooth, they've made lively commcnss>
mcnt. Moo Hampsheer is . afatai sab, I'm.
psschneat viii follow in sixty days, and
then losg farewell 10 all our glory. Good
mite, tooF Eggslency, pleasont dreams.
4 Ill to my chamber" l N
And | left the poor man wcepin great
tuars and bitter onel. . -
sen. the foilerin dispsschs home to the
Csoss, k0sds, b telegraph. Tvuz rusher
expensive cn the Government, but Seward
told me that tellegranln wus ! kgisimate ex~
| peniitcor, .nd 10 - tAs wires Szs such ~
ak chooses ifsns r.se@s - ~ - - as.8ss
1srsrvsm. Dsskss, sBssssn, 3ssRslssr aad
! !. 6asitl ID Trsstess; - !. - ss.s.,..f
| TuExS g GRxkrIx,-Dserlyb beloved, saloot
you. Not joyfully and with iteness ofheart
bus, on the contrary, qnite % the reverse.
we's bsstid. Hsni Tidi, Eiri i!sAwhieh
shs way ue ssAaslats IT, mssas. We cam. Ne
saw, we got squeessd-' 1t is my painful
dooty to inform VOC. that Moo Hampsheer,
Nv wich We cxpeetA bsstst shhgs, has kode
iunatic sgin, araAss eascsd hates " US