The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-11-13
me PrIvrte HABITS orHoraee greeley
Br ,rAHk TWAIN. OF THE TR1DUSEis.
sTAPF.

From FaEes's Sphtf erths TfHleL
Mr.. Greeley gets up at three O'Clock
in the morning; for Il Is one Of his Ia
vorite mAxims that only early rising
can keep the health unimpaired and
[ the brain vigorous. He then wakes up
/ all the household and assemblies them
/ In the library, by candle-lght, and af-
ter quoting the beautiful lines:
saFarly TO bed and early TO rise
Make man healthy, wealthy and wise,''
he appoints each individuals task for
| the day, sets him at It with encourage
ing words, and goes back 70 PED again
l / mention here, in no fault-hndinR Bptr"
lft, but with the Difference justly due n
man who Is older and wiser and worth
Ter than !, that he shores Rwfully. In
a moment OF irritation. once, L was
rash enough to say that ] never would
sleep with him until he broke himself
OF this unfortunate habit. i have Kept
my word with bigoted and unWayer-
ing determination.
/ Al half-past IL O'Clock Mr.. Greeley
rises again. he Bhaves himself. he
I considers that there Is great virtue and
1 economy In shaving himself he does
/ Il with n dull razor, sometimes hum
ming a part Of tune, The knows part
/ of tune, and takes an innocent de-
| light In regarding Ii as the first half OF
IOld Hundred; but parties familiar with
that hymn have felt obliged to confess
that they could not recognize il, and,
| therefore, the noise he makes is doubt
less an unconscious original composi-
| ton OF Mr.. Greeley's,) and sometimes.
whnn the razor Il especially dull, he ac-
companies himself with formula like
/ this: damn the damned razor, and
the damned outcast who made it,
/ II. G..
He then goes ont into his model gar.
den, and applies his vast store OF agri-
1 cultural knowledge to the amelioration
of his cRbbagesi after which he writes
| an able agricultural article for the In
structiOn OF American farmers, his soul
cheeTed the while with the reflection
that II cabbages were worth eleven dol
lars apiece his model farm would pay.
He next goes To breakfast, which is
| a frugal, abstemiOus meal with him,
and consists OF nothing bat such things
as the market affords. nothing more.
he drinks nothing but water-nothlng
whatever but wafer, and coffee, and
tea, and Scotch ale, and lager beer, and
lemonade with a fly in it-someiimes
a house fly aud sometimes n horse fly,
according TO the amount of Inspiration
required to warm him up to his daily
duties. During breakfast be reads the
tribune all through, and enjoys the
satisfaction OF knowing that all the
brilliant things in it, written by Young,
and Cooke, and Hazard, and myself
are attributed TO him by a conhding
and Internal public.
After breakfast he writes a short ed
itorial, and puts large dash At the
beginning OF IL thus ~, which Is the
same as II he put II. @. after Il, and
takes a savage pleasure in rejecting
that none OF US understrappers can uss
that dash, except in pTofane cOnversa-
ton when chs thing over the outrage. He
writes this editorial in his own hand.
writing. He does it because he is 50
vain OF his Psnmanship. He always
did take an inoTdinRte pride in bis
penmanship. He hired out once, in
bis young days, as writing master,
but the enterprise failed. The pupils
could not translate his remaTks,with
any certainty. His FIRST copy was
Virtue is It's own reward, ''-z1d they
got II washing with soap is wholly
absurd, and so the trustees discharged
him for attemptingIo convey bad NOR
ais, through thenedlum of worse pen.
manship. But as was saying, he
writes hIsJmoTning editorial. Then he
trieEto read It over, and can't do It, and
osends II to the printers, and they try
10 read 1t, and can't do II; and SO they
set II up at random as you may say,
putting In what words they can make
out, and when they get aground on =
long word they put in RECOMMENDATION
or universal suffrage" and spar od
and paddle ahead, and next morning
IL the degraded public can tell what Il
is all about, they say Ii. @. wrote It
and IL they can't, they say IL is one OF
those imbecile uuderstTapPers, and
that IL the end OF It,
On Sundays Mr. Greeley sits in
, prominent pew in Mr.. Chapin's church
anl lets on that he Is asleep, and tbs
congregation regard IL as an eccsntrici
~ Of genius.
When he is going 10 appear in public
Mr.. Greeley spends two hours on his
fniInN tNR Ia nssn % ~
elaborate man about getting mp hi.
dress that lives in America. This is bis
} chiefest and his pleRsantest ioible. He
, puts Son his old white overcoRt, and
turns mp the collar. He puts on a soil
ed shirt saved from his wash, and
leaves ono end ofthe collar unbnttoned
He puts on his most dIlnpidRted hat
turns Il wrong side before, cants It on
to the back OF his head, and Jams ar
extra dent in the side oft. He putE
fou bis most atrocious boots, and spends
hfteen minutes tucking the left leg Of
his pants into his boot-top in what
shall seem the most careless and un.
studied way. But his cravat-it is into
the arrangement Of his cravat that ht
throws all his soul, all the powers OF
hts great mind. Amer fixing at 1t for
forty minutes before the glass it Is per.
ieot-it is askew every way-it over
floWs his coat-cOllnr on one side and
sinks into oblivion on the oiher-it
climbs and IL delves around about bis
neck-the knot Is conspicuously dis
played under his left ear and It street chei
one OF its long ends straight out hori-
zontally, and the other goes after his
eye, In the good old Toodles fashion,
and then completely and maryelously
aDpareled Mr.. Greeley strides forth,
rolling like sailor,a miracle OF astond.
ing costumery, the awe and wonder OF
the nationst
But haven't time to tell the rest of
his private habits. Suffice Il that he Is
an upright and honest mana practi
cal. great-brained mana useful man
TO his nation and his gener Ation-S IA,
nous man who has Justly earned his
celebriiy-and withal the worst dress
ed man in this or any other country
even though he does tnke so thunder
Ing much pains and put on so many
fills about Il.
How Frank Blair Heard the news.
Frank p. Blair, the defeated Vic,
Presidential candidate OF the Democra
icy, arrived In Chicago at an early hour
yesterday morning, and stopped ut IhI
fremont House. Scarcely a menu Der o.
his party called upon him, the terrible
Tout they had experienced no doubt de.
terring them from confronting theii
nominee. Amer reading the morning
papers Frank remarked that he had