Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-01-04
their first book. Nobody can tell then.

ituttr HrSG uooh. NVuouy Cdu toii WeDl
anything a1 l'sa l2,2'lii e,,s 5'i'.i I, :.
During the whole time that / was CON
.nected with the Government it seemed
as if / could not do anything in an Off
cial capacity without getting myself in
to trouble. And yet l did nothing, at
tempted nothing, but what conceived
to be for the good of my country. The
stings Of my wrongs may have driven
me to unjust and harmful conclusions,
but it surely seemed that the Secretary
of State. the Secretary of War, the Sec
retary of the Treasury and others of
my confreres. had conspired, from the
very beginning to drive me from the
Administration. ;, I never attended but
one Cabinet meeting while 1 was con-
nected with the Government. That was
sufficient for me. The servant at the
White House door did not seem disposed
to make way for me until / asked if the
other members Of the Cabinet had ar
rived, He said they had, and ! entered.
They were all there; but nobody offered
me seat. They stared at me assif /
had been an intruder. The President
said ,...s ,,s5s g..,.l.4 o 10 rS,r6S
d. "Well, Sir, who are youl'' :. ,is3iss
-dIlhanded him my card, and he read:
"The Hon. Mark Twain, Clerk of the
Senate committee ON Conchology.,' 2
Then he looked at me from head to foot,
as .if he had never heard of me before.
The Secretary Of the Treasury said:
'1e 6et" eet"This is the meddlesome ass that
came to recommend me to put poetry and
conundrufhs in my report, as if it were
an almanac" ~ ''''l ~. s. - '-
The Secretary of War said: sa7elI =
s1.tIt is thesame visionary that came to
me yesterday with scheme to educate
a portion of the Indians to death and
massacre the balance,
ri The Secretary of the Navy, said: :w
81 recognize this youth as the person
who has been interfering with my bust
ness time and again during the week
He is distressed about Admiral Farra-
CUTS using a whole feet for plea ure
excursion as he terms it. His proposi-
tion about some insane pleasure excur-
sion on a raft, is too absurd to repeat" !"
II said: "Gentlemen perceive here a
disposition to throw discredit upon every
act Of my official career I perceive, also,
a disposition 70 debar me from all voice
in the counsels of the nation. sNonotice
whatever was sent to me to-day. 1t was
only by the merest chance that learned
that there was going to be Cabinet
meeting. But let these things pass. ALI
/ wish to know is, is this a Cabinet
meeting, or is it not r. g. -, ,.'''.
The President said it was 80 1.-Two.
10 '.Then," L said, slet us proceed to
business at once, and not fritter away
valuable time in unbecoming fault-fnd-
ings with each others official conduct y
The Secretary of State now spoke up,
in his gbenignant way, and said:Y9 fs Vfl
Young man, you are laboring under
/ a mistake. The clerks of the Congress.
ional committees are not members of the
( Cabinet. Neither are the doorkeepers
Of the Capitol, strange as it may seem
Therefore, much as we could desire your
more than human wisdom in our delibe.
rations, we cannot lawfully avail ourset
yes of it. The counsels of the nation
must proceed without you; if disaster
follows, as follow it we'll may, be it balm
to your sorrowing spirit, that by deed
and voice you did, what in you lay to
avert it. You have my blessing. Fare
WELL" 80 > s.s - .''
These gentle words soothed my trou.
bled breast, and ] went away. But the
servants of nation can know no peace
I had hardly reached my den in the
Capitol, and disposed my feet on the
table like a Representative, when one
of the Senators on the Genealogical
Committee came in in passion, and
said
"Where have you been all day ?''
observed that, if that was nybody' :
affair but my own, 1 had been to Cab
met meeting. ~ ...........-. ..... -.
"To a Cabinet meeting! I would like
to know what business you had at Cab
met meeting ?'''' - ..--..,-.. -....,. ti,- =.
l said went there to consult-allow-
ing. for the sake of argument. that he
was in anywise concerned in the matter
He grew insolent then, and ended by
saying he had wanted me for three days
past to copy report on bomb-shelis
egg shells, clam-shells, and 1 dont't
know what all, connected with conchol-
ogy, and nobody had been able to find
me.
This was too much. This was the
feather that broke the clerical camel's
back. I said: "Sir, do you suppose ]
am going to a0ork for six dollars day
If that is the idea, let me recommend
the Senate Committee on Conchology tc
hire somebody else. I am the slave o.
NO faction! Take back your degrading
commission. Give me liberty or give
me death !" ......-...,.... - ~.
From that hour was no longer con
nected with the Governm ent. Snubbed
by the department, snubbed by the Cab
met, snubbed at last by the chairman O.
committee / was endeavoring to adorn
Iyielded to persecution, cast far from
the perils and seductions of my great Of.
fee, and forsook my bleeding country in
the hour of her peril. 9,io iH. 'lgl 5a
But I had done the State some ser
vice, and ] sent in my bill: 49-r4 >
The United States of Americs in account with tn
Hon. Clerk of the Senate Committee on Conchol
To consultation with Secretary of War.... s5
To consultation with Secretary Of Navy. s
To cOnsultatiOn With Secretary of Trsassry
10 Mileage to and from Jerusalem. via Egypt. '''
A.eiers Gibraltar. and Cadiz, AooO miles. at
To salary as Clerk Of Senate Go nm tiee on
Conchoogy, six days, at % per day........-..
Not an item of this bill has been paid
IL L. 4.