Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1868-12-29
The Anatomical Yankee.

| lecturer who travelled from one end
of the country to the other, displaying
his posters to the best advantage In
country towns. Among the attrac-
tions of his exhibition was skeleton
and manikin, the latter very perfect
of its kind, and capable Of being TAX
en- apart, bit by bit, till nothing was
left but vast pile of muscles and
other parts of the human structure
Prof S--was big wag in his
way, and did not contine his drollery
to his audiences. In one of the rural
places out west he chanced to have
for a bed fellow a verdant farmer
who was so absolutely green that he
had never seen or even heard of ar
tifcial teeth. Before retiring for the
night the conversation turned upon
the facility with which a soldier stop
ping at the tavern used his artificial
leg, and the professor astonished the
verdant farmer by telling him that
some men were almost completely ar
tificial, and predicted that the time
would come when man might Oe
false throughout, having stomach in
which food might be placed, and with
the addition of spoonful of patent
gastric juices, have the food quickly
digested, adding slyly that he himself
was greatly dependent on the manu-
facture for his present existence
With theSerevelations the countryman
dared hardly to look at him.
On retiring for the night, the lee
turer purposely attracted h e YER
dant's attention by removing his wig
When, however, he opened his mouth
and quietly removed his teeth, the
verdant, terrified by such a perfor
nance, hurrie dly jumped into bed, and
burying his head beneath the sheets
tried to lose himself in sleep. This
the lecturer prevented by inartieuIat(
mutterings stating that he would eX
tinguish the light, as he was rather
ashamed to Uc seen taking himself
apart.
Opening the closet door, he care
, fully took his manikiu apart, anC
bringing out his nicely cleaned skull
proceeded 10 arrange the lungs, heart
kidneys, intestines and other parts Of
the manikin in various conspicuou
parts of the room. The washstand
table, bureau and chairs were partl
Uttered with the apparatus. Will
busy al his work, he gave utteranc
to numerous painful howl8 and groanS
fairly making the verdant'S hair Stant
on eul. He initiated the winding u
of his uug- in readiness for the morn
ing, and, after Suudry other trick,
: Jumped into bed, carrying with M
the cold wash basin, which he pun
pOsely backed up against the war;
body Of his bed fellow, who nearl
) Jumped out of the bed from the col
tact, and through the night clung
: the extreme verge OF the bed iu teal
The professor had his eyes ope
: early in the morning TO witness th
0 tun. Buried in the bedclothes, wit
one little peep hole through which t
watch the proceedings, he waited
> The verdant soon slipped out Of be
: and started for his pants, when hi
= eyes fell on the gliStening skull.
/ morbid fascluatiOn led his eyes aroun
: the room, and taking in the whol
6 horror of the display at once, he graz
; bed his clothes. and with one lon
L howl Of terror and despair, rushe
u headlong from the room. The lectu
er Instantly jumped out Of bed, an
y quickly dressing, skipped down stair
Z where he met the countryman, hal
out OF his wits, trying to explain tt
. necessity of leaving before breakfas
Z The appearance OF the lecturer :
: quickly put together completed ii
u fright, and with another howl, he he
from the tavern and from the villae
to his home, where he related the a
" founding character of yankee WI
; could take himself apart as easily /;
. he could butcher and cut up an OK.