The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-02-07
dtit aud 5lnmsr,

- HOW were AIA@ Ahu INC PlC |
.ented from gambling Their pair O.
lice was t,ken away from them.
- "Doctor what 10 certain cure
or bald head 7" "Amputation-de-
~ pisatiou--cutting it off, sir.
- An editor having served on jul
~ is 80 full Of law that he cheats linn
self.
- Restaurants in London are adj
VI Rising e oil hot meals for four ana
half pence mine cents).I
- Why cant a gentleman legally
possess a short walking stick Be
cause it can never belong to him.
"I'm going to raise your rent.
said a landlord to his tenant. 'Thahk
ysu," replied the tenant, "For am
blessed if | can raise it.
A Head says with Hamlet) they |
are going to have a"nippipg and mig |
ger IAN eager air. dowL South tins
winter.
-Woman are the friezes and car
Wings around the temple of humanity
the sauce which gives all the sweet
ness to the dunpling OF life.
"A gentleman standing at his
door, was asked by huckster whether
was the man of the house In
subdued tone replied, mo my Wle
is"
-aNever listen to.flatterers,"' said
n nother to her daughter. wv ny,
motber wow shall know they tiatter
without | listen ?" Was the quick re-
sLonss OF the young miss.
A young nan generally gives
lock Of his hair to his sweetheart pe-
fore, he Marries her. Alter marriage
she can help herself AND use no
scissors.
- "Charley | was very much shock
Il hear you singing Pop goes the Wea-
lie in church." swell, mamma | saw
every body was singing, and it was the
only.tune l knew"
Law like razor, requires a
ustrong back" keenness. and an excel
lent temper Many of those who once
get .sshtved with ease and expedition"
Seldom risk second operation.
An absurd habit young ladies'
have now adays of padding the BACKS
of their heads with horse hair, like the
sofl-cushions, may be briefly summed up
(, S "stutf and nonsense.
An impertinent editor in Ala
ham. AXIS when we intend to pay tile
ssdebt of nature" We are enclincd to
think when nature gets her dues fronl
him twill be by an execution.
"Haye YOU been much at sea ?
uWhv. no, not exactlv; but my broth
or married 4 commodores daughter.
.sMere you ever abroad
s.No. not exactly. but my mothers
maiden name was French.
can unloved wife," who ought
to know Of what they speak, because
she has had SO much experience. says
that the REASON that the ladies' LOOK
SO much to money IN the matter VI
marriage is that now adays they 50 sci
dom find anything else in man "or'l'
having. ......
A Dutch member of the Penn
sylvania Legislature on his return
home after the adjournment of that body
was asked by one OF his constituents
what had been done during the seS-
son, " don't know what de oders
debut for myself | clear Won hun
dred doliarsby it,
- "Nothing can be done well that
is loue in q hurry" oracularly declared
il ts.taiN pompous politician. in New
York Que Gay lately, on the steps ofthe
City Hall.
GLOW abeut catching fieas !" asked q
wAg at his elbow. The politician waN
6oored.
An honest Dutchman in training
up his son in the way he should go, IRE
uiIentiy exercised him in Bible lessons
Or one ofthese occasions lie asked him
"Who vas dat who would not shleel
nit Botifer'S wife w
''Shoseph.'
ssDat's a coot boy! Vel vot was dc
reason he yeuld not shleep init her !"
Don't know--spose he yasan't shlee-
py."
- Artemous Ward says ''1return-
ed in the boss car part the way. n
pooty gal in spectacles sot near nae
and was telling young man how
much he reminded her of a young mar
she used to know in Waltham. Poorly
soon the young man got out, and smll
inc In q seductive manner, l SAID Il
the gsl in spectacles-"Dont l remint
YOU of some body you used to know
SYes." she said. "you do remind me o
one man but he was sent to the penl
Tertiary for stealing barrel otmacker'
ell he died there, so | conclood yol
amt him" ] didn'tpursoo the CONVEX
sation."
- The pastor OF city church Wa
catechslng the pupils of his SaDDati
school and remarked:
"Renember dear children, that Goo
is everywhere"
The sswords had hardly escaped hi
Inns when aroguish little fellow rose III
AnJ said 10 the pastor
"Please sir did you say God was ey
erywhere -
eyes, my son: every where"
AIS he in my pocket ?"
ayes, lac is in your pocket"
''Wcll, guess I've got you there,
was the triumphant retort. "Becaus'
/ amt got any pocket
During the sitting of court il
Connecticut not long ago on yer.
cold evening crowd of lawyers haC
gathered around the open fire thai
burned cheertully on the hearth in TIN
bar-room, when traveller entered
benumbed and cold but no one move'
70 Give him room to warm his shnS, 81
he leaned against the back part OF tn
room. Presently a sharp limb OF tn
Law addressed him and the followin!
dialogue took place You look Xix
a traveller ?" "Wall, | suppose | an
came all the way from Wisconsin OF
foot at any rate" From Wisconsin
What n distance to come on one pal
of leos - .Wall, done it anyhow.
"Di6 YOU ever pass through hell il
any OF your travels 2" Yes, sir w
been through the out skirts Nv el
what are the manners and customs
Some of us would like to know ~
yop'u find them much the same as il
fhis mace. the lawyers at nearest ia
RH. -