Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-09-23

NUMBER 81.
...Silver and golden ankles for ladies arc
about to become fashionable. They will be
worn outside the stocking.
when you call lady pretty, and tell
the truth, you pay her compliment which
touches the inner paradise Of her feelings.
why don't the 6outhcrhcfs behave?-
Tribune. t.
Ma, make Bill be quiet-evcry time I
hit him over tho head he hollers."
THE city council Of Nashville, Tennes.
soc, is to pay blind man $500 to walk
across the river on slack wire. That will
give him number one funeral.
1T Is related that Jersey man, gather
ing mushrooms was told that they were
poison. '"rhank you; am not going to
cot them myself sell them at hotel"
...Carl Schurz, after stumping Indiana in
German, declares that the Dutch are no
more intelligent than the negroes, because
they mean to vote for Seymour and Blair.
Women are said to have stronger at.
tachments than men. 1t is not so. A man
is often attached to ON old hat; but did you
ever hear Of woman having an attachment
to an old bonnet. Echo answers, never.
IA German Of Chicago offers to bet eight
puncheons Of wine, worth s2 900, that Gen.
Grant will carry Chicago. Another Ger
man offers to bet that Grant can drink the
"eight puncheons" before he is elected.
IA deaf and dumb boy, thirteen years
old, was made to do duty as representa-
tive voter in Radical procession at Port
land. There was some propriety in it, after
oil, considering the dumbness Of the candi-
date.
IA young man in New Jersey has gone
insane over the idea that his marriage was
not legal, and that hc would lose his wife.
Per contra, large numbers Of young mar
ricd men throughout the country are in va
rious degrees Of distraction because Of ideas
exactly opposite.
The following can be read so as to make
sense, but it takes q cute individual to find
out how. Just try I'll
! thee read SEQ that me,
Love is up will III have ..
But that and you have you'll
One and down and you If.
ia late California paper mentions duel
which was fought between Yankee and an
Englishman, in dark room. The Yankee,
not wishing to have blood on his hands, fred
his pistol up the chimney, and, to his hor-
ror, down como the Euglishman.
The disrespectful fellow who wrote the
following is daily expecting On indiscrimi.
nate attack Of broomsticks:
Duplex hoops and painted faces,
Patent calves and foreign curls,
Waterfalls and costly places.
Tell too plainly what are girls.
People ore frequently advised to keepa
stiff upper lip. Why not also rigid lower
one? Is there any more virtue hidden in
one than in the other? The lips were orig
inally formed for kissing. Who could kiss
with stiff upper, and limp lower lip7-
The persimmon drops would all be taken
out Of the nectar.
lin the South Carolina Legislature the
other day a member ventured to use the
term white men, when he was interrupt
cd by a negro member thus: "Nlr. De-
Large said: l call the gentleman to order;
he is speaking of members in calling them
white men. Iobject to the language used"
Lo the poor white man.
IA drowsy youngster at Manchester, N.
H., fell down fight Of stairs, then passed
through two doors, climbed over well curb
and fell into the we'll twenty feet deep, with
four feet of water at the bottom, and was
fished up after crying for help; all this he
did while fast asleep, and when finally ava,
kcned he did not remember thing that had
happened.
Mrs. ShurmaB, coffee. .colorcd" lady,
was arrested in Washington, last week, for
passing q $50 counterfeit greenback. In
default Of bail she was sent to jail to await
her trial. This Is q great outrage upon
freedom and the 'Soffee.colored" race
Greeley and bis "blockhead" brethren will
set up q wonderful howl should this wcnch
lose her liberty, for which the country has
bled so long.
keep smile on your countonance. -
Smiles breed dimples which are more orna-
mental than sevcnty-6ve cent vest chains.
It is dangerous to sleep in the same town
with the proprietor Of perpetual frown.
Don't walk around looking as dismal as a
sick undertaken, or as if you were going to
your wedding or a funeral If you feel
down hearted, avoid laudanum. Take to
clean linen and victuals, and you'll come out
all right.
s.Planchette is all the rage just now. A
few evenings since young married lady,
with several friends Of both sexes, married
and single, was consulting this mysterious
little instrument, when, in reply to men-
tai question by the aforesaid lady, Plan
=