Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-01-15
YOU CAN'T TAKE MY HAT (!

I- T'
We were once travelling over the railroad
from Washington city to Baltimore, wher
we observed peculiar sort of man sitting
hard by-a tall, slim, good natured fellow
but one who somehow seemed to bear thu
impress Of person who lived by his wits
written on his face. A friend, who wa.
with me, answered my inquiry as to who he
was, and at the same time asked me tc
keep between the object of my notice and
himself lest he should come over to oul
seat, as my companion said that he knew
him, but did not wish to recognize him
here.
'Thatis Beau Hickman said. he, "a
man that is universally known in Washing.
ton as one Of the most accomplished fellows
in the city, always roady to borrow of, OF
drink with you. He never has any money,
however, and am curious to know how he
will get over the road without paying, for
he'll. do it in some way"
Probably he has got ticket-borowcd
the'money to buy it with, or som ething OF
that Sort" said l.
"Not he. Beau always travels free, and
boards in the same way. He never pays
money when wit or ticket will pass current
in its place" said my friend. confidently
"What shocking bad hat he has got
on, said I, observing the dilapidatcd con-
condition Of his beaver.
Its some trick of his, doubtless, for the
rest of his dress, you observe, is quite. gen.
teel."
eyes, l sec.'
My friend went on to tell me how Beau
had done his tailor out of a receipt in full
for his last years bill, and the landlady at
his last boarding place, and also various
other specimens of his ingenuity and wit.
"He owed me ten dollars, said my friend
'but in attempting to collect it of him one
day, III be hanged if he didn't get ten
more out of me, SO I think / shall let the
matter rest there, for fear Of doubling the
sum once more"
At this moment the conductor entered the
opposite end of the Car to gather the tickets
from the passengers, and give them checks
in return. Many of them as is often the
practice with travellers who are frequently
called upon on populous routes to show their
tickets, and placed the 9 in the bands of
their hats, SO that the conductor could see
that any were all right, and not trouble
them to take them from their pockets at
each stopping place. watched Beau to
see what his cxpedient would be to get rid
of paying for his passage. As the conduc-
tor drew nearer Beau thrust his head ont
the car window, and seemed absorbed in
contemplating tho scenery on that side of
the road. The conductor spoke to him for
his ticket-there was no answer.
"Tickct, SIR" said the conductor, tap
ping him lightly on the shoulder.
Beau sprang back into the car. knocking
his hat into the road, and leaving it in one
minute nearly a mile behind. lie looked
first towards the conductor, then out Of the
window after his hat, and in seeming fit
or rage exclaimed: a.G4
"What the ID do you strike man that
way for? Is that your business? Is that
what the company hires you for?"
II beg your pardon, sir, l only wanted
your ticket" replied the conductor meekly.
'Ticket! Oh, yes, it's oil very well for
you to want my ticket, but I want my hat"'
replied Beau, bristling up.
"Verry sorry, sir, really. l barely de-
sired to call your attention and took the
only means in my power" said the conduc-
tor.
"You had better use cane to attract q
persons attention next time, and hit him
over the head with it if he happens to be
looking the other wayl replied the indig.
nant Beau. q"
swell, sir, I am ready to apologize to
you again if you wish. l have done SO al
ready once" said the now Disconnected Of.
fetal. e Hz
"Yes, no doubt, but that don't restore
my property, that's gone."
"WeY, sir, l cannot talk any longer, III
take your ticket, If you please said the
conductor. ''
ticket? Haven't you knocked it out Of
- window, hat and all! Do you. want to
salt to injury?" N
your ticket was in the hat band p
~ the conductor. e, a.,
I|nvqu stop the train and 90 lbacl
~ 1he hatless Beau, with indig
on his iace. avsl 4
nv pass you FREQ over tn