The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1868-03-27
WASHINGTON, March Is, '68.

w AsHlNGTUN, uaTCll Id, 20.
Probably the happiest party wich
ever assembled in this vale of teers,
wuz in the White House on the night
NV the eleckshun in Moo Hampsheer.
1t wuz gay and festive sceen. Hi
larity rained. The President, with
q unwonted smile onto his face, his
nose shinin with preternateral bril-
liancy, his eyes sparklin with lite
that Good only come from sole sur
charged with joy and skin tolerably
full Nv whiskey, walked up and down
the room, rubbin his hands with glee
that Good not be repressed.
is all prepared2' asked Randall,
NV a humble lookin cuss that does a
share nv his managin, he wuz origi-
nally paid by Mrs. Cobb, but sence
her ontimely failyOor in biznis lie is
allowed the earnins NV one day in
each month NV a whiskey inspector
in Moo York, is everything arrang-
ed?'
1T is, yoor Eggslency.' ITO these
fellers all the high officers are Eggs
lencies.
is the powder prokured for one
hundred gunsl'
1T is, yoor Eggslency.'
SIS the rockets drawed from the
Navy Department to be fired from
the different parts Nv the city to show
They is, yoor Eggslency.'
'Hev the Department clerks bin no
titled that it wood be well for EN- to
gladly fall into percession when His
Eggslency the President is to be SER
enaded, eff they desire to keep ther
places?'
they hev.'
'Hev the transparencies bin paint
ed with the proper Inscriptions? Did
yoo see one inscribed 'Sinclair's ma
jority 5000! Moo Hampsheer's pro-
test agin impeachment
They hev, and / did,
Then said Randall, 'all is in read
mess. The brass bands know are
in waItin. Stanbsry writ the Presi-
dents speech this mornin, and he hez
it tolersbly we'll by heart, and the jOl-
liflcashen must 60 orf smooth and
pleasant
At this moment the President ap-
preached.
'Hap sed he, sin one more short
hour Washington will be alive with
joy. and the country will breathe
Tree. Moo Hampsheer hez spoken.
In q hour we shel hev the glad intel
ligence that she bez been troo to the
cOnstooshen ez / eXpound it--that
she hez rebooked Sumner, and Ste.
vens, and Wade, and sich, and sed in
thunder tones to the impious wretch
es. who wood, in me, pull down the
pillars NV government, stay yer frat
ricidle hands, The thot Overpowers
me. Let's take suthin.'
A half hour wuz spent in innocent
hilarity. The President showed the
thoroughnis NV his Ieconversion to
Dimocrisy by takin hizzen strate,
with nothin in it, while Seward be-
trayed his orijin, and his consekent
onreliability, by drinkin some kind
Nv lite wine with no more body into
it than wood be in watered cider.
Confusion to Wade!' exclaimed
the President, holdin up his glass and
watchin the beads rise to the surface
with pleased eye.
Moo Hampshire! sed Seward,
may Connecticut carry forward the
work she hez so gloriously begun.
'Our Offices sed Randall, 'long
may we hold en-
'Kentucky,' sed /, 'alluz trOo; tho
all other States may desert Dimocra
sy, Kentucky will be faithful mong
the faithIis found. Her distilleries
attest her steadfastness to her party
obligashens.'
And in such toasts the 80 minutes
wore away.
A private sekretary entered.
"A dispatch from Moo Hampsher !
.Hap sed Randall, seezin it, now
tremble Ablishnism quake Stevens,
for your time is come Exalt your
your horn, Dimocrisy, for the reack-
shun is here'
The gentle and trustful Secretary
opened it, read a moment, turned
pale and fell faintin on the floor.
Seward glanced at it and gaspin This
is the end of iife,' (wich he intended
for his last words, fell likewise pros
trate. The President snaiched it
from Stewards hands and tainted
across the rest NV EN-, and Welles
seein the President faint, did 1t becoz
the President did, without readin it
Welies takes physif every time the
EfRs ont hoEa