The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1868-12-07
Fact and Fancy.
Man leads woman to the altar-in that
act his leadership begins and ends.

MAN IcluS WUfluu u VIC Ult1C-lu tuat
act his leadership begins and ends.
TUE hen is generous fowl. For every
single kernel Of corn she will give a
peck,
Miss ToMpkISs says every unp arricd
lady of forty has passed the Cape of
Good EloEe.
A Western editor has got such cold
in his head that tie water freezes on it
when he washes it.
Why should teetotalers never hold
their meetings at theatre? Because
there should be drop seen ut them.
WHEN is a young mans arms like the
gospel When they make glad tue
waist places.
A Salt Lake paper concludes a mar
riage notice The convivialities OF the
evening were chastc and celebrating"
SARATOGA ladies' are so obliging as to
furnish reporters the size of their waists,
aud the value Of their diamonds.
TIE English papers say that Gladstone
is now equal to the average American
Congressman. lie can make FIVE col
umu speech every day.
Before the marriage the man is very
much struck by the woman, aud after
wards the woman is very much struck by
the man.
tbs man who showed his grit was in
the sand-paper lite. The man who was
caught mapping is supposed to have been
4 latter.
4 sporting man being solicited to in
sure his life rcplicd-"ile would be id
il he would play any game he had to die
70 win"
A highly educated constable, some
where in the Northwest. advertiscs for
sale u roau horse, "or SO much thereof as
may be necessary" TO satisfy the judg-
ment.
SMITH lives in Cincinnati. There are
six hundred aud tSenty-three Of lin DO
ing business in that city, and those of him
named john have now dwindled down to
40
Az abandoned wretch who was warned
by temperance friend 80 look not
upon the wine when it is red" replied that
he never drank red whiskey
agreed better with his constitution.
THE following advertisement appeared
in Texas paper :--"lf the person who
took the white waterproof coat belong
ing to Captain johnson, will call at the
barracks. he can have the peg it used to
hang upon, as it is of no use to tue
owner"
To kill rats-'TI,is receipt is cheap and
never fails. When you retire for the
night place bit of cheese in your
mouth Care should be taken to keep
the mouth well open, and when the rats
whiskcrs'ticklo your throat, bite.
A traveller was boasting of the luxury
af arriving at night, after hard days
journey, to partake of well cut ham and
the left leg of a goose. pray, sir,
what is the peculiar luxury of the left
leg Z" "Sir, to conceive its luxury, you
must find out that it is the only leg that
is left. aud that you have no right TO it."
VIZ heard of very polite and impress
sive gentleman who said to youth III
the street, boy, may | inquire where
Robiuson's drug store is?' Certainly,
Sir" said the boy, very respectfully.
"Well, Sir said the gentleman, after
waiting awhile, where is it?p II have
not the least idea, your honor" said the
urchin.
YouxG ladies, says Washington pa
per. who are INDUCING in the lates.
styles, should be on the lookout for a
plainly dressed. benevolent faced elderly
gentleman from the country. who is just
nov frcqueuting our popular streets,
armed with bottle Of peppermint, which
he Insists on Offering the passers-by who
display their Grocian' bend. The old
- Al. g. IN. Al 80