The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-06-18

a
heresies, may be our candidate. Say no.
thin, Deekin, that yoo'l hev to take back
/ Feelin that rite here wuz a splendid
chance for an improvin discourse on the
nacher, objicks, and aims Nv democracy,
[ opened out onto en-.
"Dimocrisy," remarkt, sis distin-
guished cheehy for its elasticity in adap-
tin means to ends. One wood suppose
that Post Offs is its cheef end. In one
sense it is. Dimocrisy is willin to sacri-
4 flee any thing which it hez for Post Offs
1t might raise Deekin Pogram's s ire to Sc
jest the nominashen NV Hancock, on ak
kount Nv his slawterins, or Belmont can
didate on account Nv his insistin on pay
ing off the Nashnel Debt, or Chase who
hez bin in his day suspected Nv bein
tainted with Ablishinism. But my breth-
ring let it be remembered that success is
the main objick. Success is wat Bascom
wants, that |, bein continyood in offs,
may hev the means to pay for the likker
[ consoom, and to avoid the necessity Nv
bein continyoorlly rekested to chalk it
down, which practis he esteems disgustin,
and one wich greatly increases his labors
may continyoo to hev Assessors, Collec-
tors, and Revcnoo ofisers with which he
kin divide the profits Nv the 50 tax on
the whisky he makes, and Deekin Po-
gram wants success that he may hcy his
niggcrs agin or least that he may hev
privilege of hirin EN- for S4 per month,
.deducting 25 cents per day for each days
absence, without no Burow offiser or OH
er military catrap hangin about to molest
or make afraid. SUCCESS is the main pint,
and eff Hancock is the way, walk ye in it
EFF Chase or Seymour is the way, walk
ye ditto, for with either Nv these men all
these things we'll hev. When they come
to US they leeve ther former selves be-
hind.
But methinks 1 hear one say, Han
cock is soljer, Seymour anti-repudia-
tor, and Chase Ablishnist ! What Nv
that 7 They may be wat they like when
they 60 into ofis-assosiashen with US
fetches EN- sooner or later. Kin 700 tech
pitch and not be defiled2 Doolittle, Co.
wan, and Dixon wuz Ablishnists. When
they split from Ablishnism-th mint
they fell into our embraces-they became
ez satisfactory Demokrats CT l Good wish.
The road down is easy one to travel
It's easier to slide than to climb, wich is
the reason why so many more are damn
ed than saved. Democracy, like Bas-
CONS new liker, holds man when it gifts
him. johnson waz good enuff Abolish
mist till he called onto US for help, and
then he wuz lost. Let Chase stay with
us week, and he'd forgit all his old
ideas, yoo bet. Shood 700 poke that sill
yer pitcher at him the niggers give him
at Cincinnati, for defendin fugitive, and
he'd swear like Peter he never saw it
only differin from Peter in that he'd
stick to it. And there is no goin back,
for the principal ones. Ther rcmorsc
kind o'drives en- deeper and deeper, till
they finally are worse than cz tho they
originally wuz NV us. Let US, my bre-
thrin, never reject any help we kin git.
Let it come in any shape and from any
source, it'll finally assimilatc to US and be
Nv Us Remember, johnson, Cowan,
Doolittle and Dixon swore, when they
started at Philadelphia, that they never
Good 60 into the ranks Nv the Dimocrisy
in year they wuz maxim speeches for
US in Connecticut.
Ez I concloodcd my remarks, my cir
Gle all agreed that it wuz safe to take
whatever we Good git from the enemy,
and we retired, fcclin that whatever
other localities mite do, the Corners wuz
safe. Wat an outrage it is, though, that
the Ablisbnists nominated sich man for
Vice President ez to make Grant perfect
ly safe from bein removed ez Linken
wuz. Eff he's elected he'll serve out his
time sure.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, P NJ,
(Which is Postmastet)