Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-09-23
Wise ami qttermise.

| Ano nau VINO WISHES 10 vote 1or the suc~
cessful candidates, must vote with the party
that favors the supremacy of the white man-
equal taxation and greenbacks or gold for
both rich and poor for Seymour and Blair.
Should a man who owns three thousand
dollars worth of government bonds, pay no
taxes, and the man who owns a house and lot
worth that amount pay all2 Grants party
says yes, Seymours says no.
The Peace that Grant and Radicalism
will get by the November elections will be a
"piece Of the public mind," that will consign
them to eternal and deserved political dis
grace.
1t was " hard tacks for the soldier during
the war, it is high tao for him now.
Grant taxes WE'LL" saws a Radical ex-
change About the only thing he takes 10
whiskey.
We are told that contented man is hap.
py, and we might have been told at the same
time that mud turtle could fly if it only
had wings.
A Wilmington On. CO. negro said to car.
pet, bagger recently: Under your teachings
you have alienatsd from us the mass of the
white people, North as well Jas South you
have got the offices and emoluments, while
we have done the work and stand out in the
cold. For one | am done with you"
Those who remember Captain Magruder as
captain of artillery, at Newport, will enjoy
the following " In 1868, Magruder, then o
Confederate general, had camped at q COM
Portable place and made his headquarters at q
country house with broad, cool verandahs.
Dinner for himself and staff was placed on
the table, when reckless young Kentuckian
passed by, looked at the spread. and, liking
1t, quietly sat down, regardless of the COM
pany, and began to eat. "My friend" said
Magruder, sternly, do you know in whose
company you are dining 2" Company r' re-
piled Kentucky, " no, used to be very par
ticular about company, but since got to be
soldier l don't care red who eat with"
An ugly old bachelor suggests that births
should be printed under the head of new
music"
:" say, Bill, Jim's got scragged for stsal-
ing a horse" "Served him light; why
didn't he buy one and not pay for it, like any
other gentleman"
say, Mr.. pilot, amt you going to start
soon 2" asked nervous traveller ON o steam
boat during a fog. "As soon as the fog
clears up" replied the captain. /" Well, it is
starlight now, overhead" said the man.
Oh, yes, but we are not going that way"
A young lady-a sensible grl-gives the
following catalogue of different kinds Of love:
/" The sweetest a mothers love the longest,
brothers love; the strongest, a wonan's
love; the dearest, mans love and the
sweetest, longest, strongest, de Arrest lovs-a
" love of bonnet
A drunken Englishman said to Judge Led
with, d" our honor, I'm a nobeman in dis.
guise." $50 perceive" replied the Judge.
you're disguised in liquor, and drunk as q
lord"
A western paper says that the editor of it's
rival sheet was skating recently and broke
through the ice. lie went in up to his ears,
but the hole was not large enough to lea
them through. While be was waiting for
some one to take him out, his ears froze, and
they have since been auputated and are now
used for door mats
A lady having been invited to send iu Q
toast to be read at the anniversary celebra-
ton of the Pilgrim Fathers, furnished the
following:
The Pilgrim Fathers, forsooth. What had
they TO endure in comparison to tbs Pilgrim
Mothers! they had not only these to endure,
but they had Pilgrim Fathers also! and yet
their names are never mentioned. Whoever
writes songs, drinks or makes speeches ia re-
collection of them7 This self sufficiency OF
the men is beyond endurance. One would
actually suppose that New England had bees
colonized by the men, and posterity provided
for by special providence.
@" Drunkenness and extravagance in dress
are the mos social vices" said the Rev. DR..
Teaser. 81 beg your pardon. uncle, but
think there is social vice more common than
either of them, and one to which you are
yourself much addicted" responded his
nephew Tom. "Name it," said the uncle,
aghast. "Ad-vice," rejoined the audacious
Tom.
Among the gifts to newly married pair at
a town In New Jersey the other evening. was
o broom sent to the lady, accompanied with
the following sentiment:
"This trihing gift accept from me,
It's use would commend;
In sunshine use the brushy part,
In storms the other end"
A gentleman travelling on q steamer, one
day was making way with large pudding
! Il \ hAN