The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1868-01-15

S1ieH'Ou oPe"ihE tue uuuStt vi
spicy selections to make up our column
of trlfes tor this week. the first that
comes to hand is = -.
~ TIE EDITOR.
The editor works-be's never at rest,
For the world, unsated with news,
Keeps asking for more the, latest and best.
He cannot-he will not refuse. . ~.
Big sermons and speeches, stories and rhymes,
With items both ancient and new,
Suiting the people, and Suiting the times,
He must faithful and conSt tant review
Not only deals Ire in subjects, profound,
His reason must ningIe with fun;
The world will iaugh and the joke go round
When the editor scribbles pen.
- Artemus. Ward follows next. at
celebration he vas called on for speech,
when he replied in a "toast to the phair
SEX" *. - -
. Ladies, sez 7, .turniF tn the batiful fe
mails hooSe presents was perphumin, tho
fair ground. | hope you are enjoyin
yourselves on this occashun, and that
Ie,ninaid and water ov which you are
9rinkin will not GO agin YOU May you
alters be fair as the. sea, bright as the
moon, and hutiful as the army with
Onion fags-a'So plenty of good close to
ware. - 8. -, = = SS.f-'ss+'l%2s =, -
Tu yure. sex-eommonly called the
phair sex, we are indebted for .horning5,
as well as many other blessings ID these
10 erownes Of sorro Sum poor:Spirited
fools blaim yure sex for the difficulty in
the garden, but f hey no don't butAdam
would have rugged a eyider press, and
dixie as not went, into a-zbig bust and
driven oaf. unaware. ,Yure ,lst= muther
wus lady, and awl her dawtets is ditto,
,andRun but a foatincuss will say awurd
agin yus Hopin that no waige of trouble
will rcl' across Iure peacefnl breasts I
konklude these remarks With the folleriR.
centyment: -; -. - - - ~.
Woman-she are good egg. =
The man who has wife and six chill
dren, and never saw one of them is>pret:
. ty good. Two. gentlemen 10 California.
we're engaged ins conservation. One re-
gretted having left home and plenty
and two beautiful daughters, and asked
the other if be had family: - -: -:
= Yes, sir, Ehave. ~"E have wife and
six: children in New York k-and never
saw-ene Of them. >..ys-ss.s'' -::s.s.E- :
After this the couple sat for a few mo.
ments in silence, and then the; interro-
gator gain commenced -, ! : ~. = +.
Were YOU ever, blind, sir p -. -
"No, sir:'' = -. - {: =
Did youever marry, widow;> sir ?"
ono. sir" 49,. ..,z..:,.. - e..
Another lapse Of silence. 49,
'DId. i understand yeu to say, sir,
that you had 4 wife ana.six. ehildrerliF-
ing in New York and had never seen
one Of them?''5, - .: .: - :;
;. '"Yes, sir-E so stated it :1:::s522'. e..
). Another and a long pause Of silence.
Then the interrogation again inquired :: -
: '11oecan ie be, sir. that you never
saw one .efthem ?p ~. = ss
"Why," wasthe response, one Of them
was horn afterI left" ( g.
: ooh l<ah;tfsv *, -: - -. : :
= Tie eyoung gcntleh,a n 50 fend-of Sarah
Nading"-sereaading met with amelan-
.choly> end. -Wesdid not, hear7hin but
some. oneaelSe did,. This was the burden
of his song :: .,.-; .s-zz@. = -. =: -:
Wake, gals, wake sthc,moon is high,
twiak lag starSzaEe-- -heatssier
sand then, across the sky, a rneteor are
strcalning! :. Wake, Sally wake, and lock
on nne-vakc Institute daughter! fPl
have you aud you'll have ine-(by gosh,
who threw thtawa ter9t :. x & 2
!, The same chap nowadvertises faraslt:s
:uation as soniR:law in respectabls fan,-
ily. Has nosohjeetion he says TO- going
Short distance into the country. Heis:
tired .oe moonshine, and music. Take
hi,n,some one ofyog, girls : .
1t is 50 seldom that we insert anything
for the ladies that they willexcusea aittle
nonsense foraone time, and We hope sill
relish the following - q.
:. A clergyman, who was seonsoling a
young widow upon the death of her, hos-
band, spoke in a very serious tone. re-:
marking that-"he was s>onesof the few:
You cannot find his. :cqnal you know
TO which the sobbing fair one replied,
with almost broken heart u don't know
butflftry." = *. - ;