Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1868-02-01
Woman--Mark Twain's EulsgE.


held Its anniversy on Saturday night.
Mr. Clemens, better known as Mark
Twain, responded to the toast, ''Womeri,
the pride OF professions and the Jewel of
ours" lie said: = ~.
| Mr.. PRESIDENT: | do not know wbv
| should have been singled out to receive
the greatest distinction of the evening
for the Offices eff replying to. the toast
to women has been regarded in every
age.r. Applause. do not lsnuw why
/ have received this distinction, unless it
be that l ANA triffe less homeIy than the
other II embeTs of the Club. But, be this
as it may Mr.. President, | am proud of
the position, and you could not have cho-
-Sen any one who would haze accepted il
more gladly, or labored with 8 heartier
good will to do the subject justice, than
! |. Because sir Hove the sex. Laugter
| love al the women, sir, irrespective OF
age or color. Laughter.
Human Intelligence canrot estimate
what we owe to women, sir. She sews
on our buttons [langhter], she mends
our clothes laughter, she ropes us. in
at the church fairs-she confides in rs
-she tells us whatever she can find out a.
bout the little private affairs of the neigh
bors-she gives us good advice, and plez-
! ty OF lt-she gives MS a piece of her
mind, sometimes-atid sometimes all of
it-she soothes our aching brows-shc
tbears our.children. In all relations of
life, it is but just and graceful tribute
to woman to say of her that she is brick
Great laughter. r. s.oarL 2t
| Wherever. you place woman, sir-in
whatsoever position or estate-she is an
ornament to that place she occupies, and
a treasure To the world. Here Mr..
Twain paused, looked inquirngly at his
fhearers and remarked that the applause
should come in at this point. 1t came
Fin. Mr.. Twain resumed his eulogy. =
Look at Cleopatra look at Desdemona
look at Florence Nightingale ! look at
Joan of Arc look at Lucretia Borgia
Disapprobation expressed. swell" said
Mr.. Twain, scratching bis head doubtful
ly, Suppose we let Lucretia slide .
Look at Joyce Heth look at Mother
Eve repeat, sir, look at the illustrious
names Of history! Look at the Widow
Machree! look ut Lucy Stone look at
Elizabeth Cady Stanton look at George
Francis Train! [Great laughter1 And,
sir, say with bowed head and deep ven
Grafton, look at the mother of Washing
ton! She raised 4 boy that could not
lie-coa3d not lie. Applause. But he
,,erer hatE any chance. 1t might have
been different with him if he had belong
ed to newspaper correspondents clnb.
| Laughter, groanS, Kisses, cries of "put
him out" Mark looked around placidly
upon his excited audience, and resumed I
| repeat, sir, that in whatsoever posi-
tion you place a woman she is an orna-
ment to society and a treasure to the
world. As sweetheart she has few
equals and 10 superiors-[ laughter !; =
as cousin she is convenient; as veal
thy grandmother, with an incurable dis
temper, she is precious I; as wet nurse
she has no equal among men! Laugh
ter. '..' ..,. O. .-.
/ What, sir, would the people of the
earth be, without woman? They would
be scarce, sir. Then let us cherish her
let us protect ler-let us give her our
support, our encouragement, our sympa-
thy-oursclves, if we get chance
Laughter.
But, jesting aside, Mr.. Presidents wo-
manis lovable, gracious, kind of heart,
beautifuI-worthy of all respect, OF all
esteem, of all Difference. Not any here
will refuse to drink her health right. cor
dially, for each and every one Of us has
personally known, and loved, and honor
ed, the very best one of them all-his
own mother! [Applause. :
The proceedings of the various South
erm Conventions, as reported by tele-
| nranh arn TIM hrief to afford anYihnm