The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-11-14

DnicEscE is the parent on ecfence. nnd
the dispenser Of excellence.
MAsr Hne hats cover worthless beads;
many plated shirt bosoms cover hollow
hearts.
HE who does not honor his wife, dishonors
himself. s4,..... el- ~ b = =
DESCEND o step ID choosing a wife, and
mount step An choosing friend. THa
IF man cannot readily recognize merit.
It IL eveident that he has none himself.
SrAcE maB@-ar-t'Johng 20 see IL the la
dies for thc ball, are all dressed, for the An
dience are getting Inpatient"
John returns-"Almost ready, sir, cot
most Of their clothes OFF,
A cLERGYMAN in the course of a sermon.
recently remarked: ssMy hearers, YOU need
not clasp yonr hands 90 fervently IN prayer.
that you cannot get them open when tie con-
tribution box is passed round"
"DD you know" said cunning GENTLE
70 Jew, . that they hang Jews and jack
asses together In Portland f'' EIndeed.s
retorted solomon, ''den ID ism veil dat you
and ish not dere."
EsRAGED scboolmaster-"John, did you
let Oh that cracker" .
John-"Yes, sir"
Schoolmaster-"WeIl, what do you sup
pose | ought 20 do TO your"
John--"Why, think you ought to Iet me
OFF,
"WAss are you going to commence the
pork business ." asked one person or ano-
ther who had sty on his eye.
Explain yourself, sir" said the afflicted
gentleman.
why, lsea that yOu hare sty qaitersa-
"True," was the reply, sand have one
hog In my eye now"
AN Irishman noticing woman passing
along the street, spied swo strips depending
IRON under the lady's cloak. Not kn1wing
that these we're styled s'sashes," and we're
hanging In their right place, he exclaimed:
"Faith, ma'am, your galluses are united"
IT having been hinted 70 q barrister who
wss worrying the court with long and dull
argument, that he ought to bring it to a
close, be angrily replied, 81 will speak as
long as please ~ oTou have spoken long
er than you please already,D said his anita
gonist.
81 wlsH had your head, p said lady one
dag TO gentleman who had solved for her
knotty point.
'sAnd wish ! had your heart" was his
reply.
"Well, !" said she, ''sinee your head AMI
my heart can agree, don't see why they
should not 90 into partnership" And they
did.
A HANDSOME young lady stepped into
store to buy half a doEen handk erchiefs, and
inquired how mach the cost was.
"Why, Miss" said the gallant but impu-
dent clerk, lost In casing upon her sparkling
eyes and ruby lips, ''you shall have them
for q kiss."
agreed replied the young lady, pock-
citing the handkerchiefs, while her eyes spoke
daggers "and as | an informed you give
credit here, charge it on your books, and
collect it the best manner you can, I" and left
the store.
ARrEMUs WARD once had an adventure in
Boston, which resulted as follows
| returned in the hoss cart part way. A
pooty girl in specSaeles sot near the, AEd vs.
tellin' a young man hoE much be reminded
her of q person she used 60 know at Walt
ham. Pooty soon the young man got out,
and smiling in seductive manner, said tU
the girl in spectacles "D0n't remind YOU
OF some one you used To know ~ rYes,D
she said, s'you DO remind me Of one man,
but be was sent TO the Penitentiary for steal
ing barrel Of mackerel; he died there, 50
conclood you amt him" didn't purs0o
the conversation.