Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-10-07

don't think you ought to conceal any
thing from me.
Mary Jane was getting mad. She has
vein in her forehead which is an unerring
temper barometer. 1t began to SWELL
That and an ominous glittering of the
eyes said as plainly as an almanac, "look
out for squalls about this time." She said
energetioally:
"My complaint! Our present relations
Conceal nothing from you! Perhaps you
will be good enough to explain yourself; !;
that is, if you can.
My temper is not angelic. | never set
up for saint, and Mary James perversty
or obstinacy, added in her manner, did
not serve to me in a heavenly frame of
mind, so blurted ont my sentiments as
| follows
"You have curvature of the spine, as
every one that sees you must know. You
have it very badly, and you ought to do
something for it. Do, for heavens sake
send for doctor and get straight
! You should have seen the little, hump
back cuss then. She walked the floor as
erect as a liberty pole. She smiled sar-
donically. She laughed hysterically.--
Finally she cried womanly, and then she
found her tongue-her native tongue -
No New York drawl now, but each word
| As sharp and incisive as a cambric needle
Curvature of the spine Ia !! ha !!
spine. ha, spine," Tin perfect shriek.)-
40, you horrid, hateful brute O, You
provoking fool-there! just wish | WAS
a man for few minutes
81 wish you was sensible woman
"Sense Well | admire to hear a boo
by-that can't tel the Grecan Bend from
the spinal comp paint-talk about sense
''Grecian fiddle stick You don't say
that the awful crook which you had in
your back was the Grecian Bend
81 don't say anything to yon. Anybody
but fool knows it is the Grecian Bend
(assuming the form of a rainbow again.
No lady desires to look like ramrod.-
All the bellies of New York stoop graceful
ly, and leave Stiffness and straight lines to
chamber maids and country folks"
81 suppose it was also from the New
York fops and bellies that you learned the
art OF talking as though your mouth was
full of hot mush"
Don't you talk about talking. You,
who never leave Louisville. think it pro
vincialisms comprise the proper language
but it is the lingo of your negro nurse
| cannot stand it, | never want TO hear
any more of it. 1t is my desire that our
acquaintance even should terminate with
this interview
And she sailed ont Of the room.
don't suppose it is of any use to spec
ulate upon the humiliating spectacle IL
which lovely woman may yet b. re.iaccd
by fashion, | am convinced that their
fate depends entirely upon the whims and
caprices of the fashion-mongers of Paris.
The ladies have never given us any eVi-
dence of their desire to avoid the ridlcn-
lous absurd dictates of and ridiculous fash
ion is, the more eagerly and implicitly her
devotees follow her. No considerations
of hea: or of cold, of propriety, of affection
of comfort, or of anything else, can divert
them from the prevailing style. If the
Grecian bend follows the natural law Of
fashion, it will get worse and worse, and
it will not be long until we see our sweet
hearts with their heads hanging down like
bowling devlses.
have taken the porcelain picture of
Mary Jane out of its velvet case, and that
| pretty casket is now vacant. Her image,
which, is supposed to be, engraved upon
this beating heart, has faded out, or is
grown over with fat. / have determined
never to marry woman with her back up.
Others may do as they please, but if ever l
do take wife, shall take her as do my
Bonrbon-straight YUBA DAM.