Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1868-02-13
n Curtain lecture 10 Mrs. MARI;
TIrdin on skating.

| "Oh, 90 TO sleep, yon old fool J"
. "Mr. Twain, l am surprised ant
! grieved to-"
! "Don't interrupt, me, woman
/ tell you it's absurd-you learn I,
skate You'll be wanting to play
fairy in the Black Crook next. / tell
you skating is an accomplishment
suited only to youth and c0melnesi
Of face and symmetry offgure. Moth
! ing is so charming as TO see beauti
, ful girl, in the coquettish costume o
the rinks, with cheeks rosy with ex
ertion, and eyes beamng with excite
! ment, skimming the ice like a bird
and swooping down upon group Of
, gentlemen, and pretending she cant
J stop herself, and landing in the arms
, Of the. very young man erfather don't
allow her TO know-and darting away
again and falling on her head and ex.
posing herself to remarks about hei
carelessness, madam--hold youI
tongue-and always taking care to
fall when that young man is close by
to pick her up. 1t is charming"
They look pretty and interesting,
too, when they are just earning-when
they stand still for long time in one
place, and then start one foot ginger
! ly, and it makes a break for the other
side of the pond and leaves the balance
Of the girl sprawling on this side
But you--you look fat and awkward
and dismal enough any time and
when you are on skates you waddle of
as stutfy and stupid and ungainly as a
buzzard that's had half horse for
dinner. | won't have it, madam. And
you get under little precarious head
way and then put your feet together
and drift along, STOPPING your head
and shoulders, and holding your arms
out Ike you expected a church was
going to fall on you, it aggravates
tho life out of me And Tuesday,
when | was ass enough TO get on
skates myself and kicked the Irish
giants eye ont the first dash, and lit
on my head and cracked the ice so
that il looked like the sun with all its
rays had dropped out where / struck
and they fined me s02 for running the
mans pond. / was terrified with the
conviction that had gone through TO
the inside OF the world because l saw
the parallels Of latitude glimmering
all around me and vhat was it but
you, in your awkwardness, fetching
over me with hyour"tiliers' ons You've
got to discard those things can't
stand the pew rent, and / won't"
"Mr. Twain, | am surp--"
"Hold your clatter. | tell you You
shan't bring odium upon the family by
your disgraceful attempts to skate.
sprawling around with your big feet
like COW plowing her way down hill
in slippery weather. May be yon
wouldn't be so handy about displaying
those feet Of yours if you knew what
occurred when ] took your shoes down
to get mended."
"What was it F? Tell me what twas
tell me what it was this minute.
| just know it is one of your lies"
ooh, don't mind it amt of any
consequence. Go to sleep"
"But lis Of consequence You've
got to tell me you shan't aggravate
me in this way ! won't 60 10 sleep
until you tell me what it was"
"Oh, it wasn't anything"
"Mr. Twain, / know better. You're
just doing this to drive me to distrac.
tion. What did that shoemaker say |
about lny shoeg What did he do? /
Quick ~
"Well, he-bc-took it and gazed |
upon it a long timein silence, and put
his handkerchief to his eyes and burst
into tears"
"Why you born fool Twain, are
you going stark, staring crazy p
'lle just stood their and wcpt as il
his heart would break, poor devil
There, now, let's 20 10 sleep"
"Sleep, you lunaticY III never close
my eyes till know what that idiot was
crying about-and you won't either, ]
can tell you that. Gomez
con it don't matter"
"Mr. Twain, if you say that again.
] say I'll make you sorry for it; what
was that numbskull crying about z"
"Well, he-he-"
DWELL, he Out withitl Do YOU
want me to-to-Twain2 III snatch
them pet fringcs off till the side Of
your head is as bald as the top of it,"
"Wcll, he poor fellow l-be said he
dotted on his grandmother-iairly do.
ted on her. She had nursed him.
you know, because his mother was
feeble, and So. Well, he came to this
fifteen years ago, and first he
set upon in the vegetable line, and
got along pretty well, and was about ]
10 send to England for the old lady.
when hard times came and he got ,
broke. He went into the fruit then, ,
md after that into milk-into all sorts
'f things, you know, but he got dis.
every time till this present
business fetched him out at last all !
light, and he sent right off for the !
Did woman. She landed here four
weeks ago, but died the same night I,
I was hard, after all his waiting and {
oiling for fifteen years, to get her /
'ver here at last, and have her die on /
MS hands He-he-well he was dis /,
,nsted. However, he laid her out. and \
MS friends sat up with her, and by
md by the memory of her virtues !
his bitterness and turned il 1
o tender grief-a settled melancholy I
hat hung about his spirit like pail
or many days. However,, by patient +
y striving TO keep sad thoughts out !
VI his mind he was fnnll,, beoinnin,, I,