New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1868-05-31
comnarntiYe respeotability. Good nite.

into comparative responsibility. Good mite.
AZ a late hour retired to my virchus
couch, and fallin into the deep sleep wich
only visits the pillersuv them whose CON
shences amt bothered much, Nv whom am
wich, ez nv Conscience sheds 'convickshen
NV wrath to come ez a duck does spring
rain, dreemed most curis dreem.
Methawt the PresideRshel course wuz reel
and troVly a race course, and the candidates
he'd to run that course, the winner NV Int
race to be glorifed. At one end Nv She
track wuz a weigh.n stand ana a. AZ sne W WIZ
the winners post which wuz tne mnlse
House, The runners wuz to carry the oah-
| didstes for Vice-P President and SIGN other
| weights ez their hackers shood put ONO en-;
The Republicans he'd Grant on the grouno
/ promptly and ready for the race. kte come
up splendid. He wuznt 80 nlgntlE id da1oIort
ali over and showed frstrate IN the back
snS Io;ns His trainers pulled of his shout
deTs few little dead weights which some
NV bis inioodishus hackers he'd chuckt onto
him sposin he Good carry everything.
Gnr people he'd some difficulty in selectin
man TO run agin him. Pendleton wuz
frotted out, but Belmont pronounced him
unfit. Mcclellan next but Voorhees, objected.
| Finally, Chase wuz selected so run the
| anninfed race, and he wuZ brot to the
| weighin stand. To the naked eye he wuZ
| asplendid specimen, and he come up to the
| stand so gallant that notwithstandin he
| carried in his hand silver pitcher witch the
| niggers NV Cincinnati give him for defendin
| a fugitive from Kentucky, our people
| cheefed him vociferOus. Tall, strong, and
| muskler lookin, in good flesh, deep chested,
broad shouldered, strong backt, he wuz ez
| perfect a specimen eZ ever beheld, and all
felt confident that he wood hev no trouble
| in beatin his opponent out Nv site. he
come up to the stand gorgeous, accompanied
by Trumbuu, Fessenden, Grimes, johnson,
aud SIGH, who he'd him in tow.
Al this pint Vallandygum, Peerse, Nor'
hees, Morrissey, and Wood, who he'd charge
NV our arrangements, took him IN hand,
1--WE must prepare our man, sea they.
Take orr this abolishn coat, said Nor
hees.
And this imparshel suffrage vest, sed
| Morrissey. "the Niger heZnt the moral
qualifications for the ballot"
" And this free soil shirt sed Wood.
And that anti-fugitive slave law wig,
sed voorhees,.
" And them ekal justis shOulderb braces,
sed Peerse.
"And them humanitarian pants, shreekd
Wood"
ave can't abide none NV these things,
| yelled the crowd. "Peel peel! All uN
these 700 got from the ablishnists, free
soilers, and Republicans. Wen none w
en-"
The silver pitcher he carried in his hand
they trampled into the mud and one by one
the obnoxious garments wuz pulled on IRON
him, Heavens wat a change. Ez they
Il wuZ removed he shrunk. When the coat
wuz taken off he yuzn't so broad and
massive; when the vest wuz gone he wu7
positively flat-chested; when the shoulder
braces Wuz removed he became hump
backed and when the pants wuz snaked
off he stood afore Us the merest skeleton
ever beheld-a weak, shaky, wheezin skele
ton. Our folks looked disappointed, but il
wuz too late to change. A loose two-sided
wrapper was thrown over him, Governor
English climbed onto lis shoulders, Val
landygum jumped into one pocket ano
Fernandy Wood into the other, the brass
band footed, the crowd yelled, he made one
conyulsive start, but in vain. The stihniI
wuz all out NV him. His poor, week knee:
gave way, his back doubled up and he came
to the ground, every bone in him rattlin e.
he fell, while Grant made the race serenely
''My God,n sed Morrissey, lookin at the
poor wreck, "what he got from the abilish
nists wuZ all Their wuz Of him after all.n
At this pint | awoke and wuz saddened-
There's where our trouble lies. We hev Il
strip these fellows when they come to US w
| all that gives EN- any strength. Chase with
out his ablishnism can't get eblishen vote
. and the Democracy will vote for their Owl
+ men in preference. Names amt worth ;
d--n any more, and men without principles
| amt NV the slitest account. And that
| what's the matter with Democracy.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY, p. NJ,
(Which is Postmaster.)