The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1868-01-02

PosT OFFIs, CONFEDRIT K ROADS, |
(Which is in the Stait NV kentucky !
December IL, 1867.
The Corners wuz last mite in most
deliteful fever Nv excitement. Ihed bin
over to Secessionville, the nearest rail-
road stashen, and he'd accidentally pro-
cured copy Nv a Louisville paper,
containin the anyooel message NV the
President, and he'd heard Nv the failyer
Nv the impeachment project. Filled
with joy inexpreSsible, / mounted Bas-
CONS mule, which l borrered for the
trip, and rode back ez fast ez that mule
could carry me. EE / rode through
the nigger settlement, near Garretstown,
en- my way back, / Good not help, in
my exultstion, shakin my fist at the
whitewashed cottages. "Ha! ha !"
thotI, ego on in yoor fancied sscoority.
Pore over your spellin books, stumble
thro yoOr reederS, dress up yoor wives
and children, while you kin, for yoor
time is short. The cloud is gatherin
over yoo-it will bust shortly. Ha! ha!"
And l struck spurs into the mule and
dashed on my way, the ha ha! soundin
dsmoniacly in the darknis.
Hastily fingin myself orf the animal,
l strided into Bascoms, where, afore his
blazin fire, they were all assembled.
'"Thank Hevinl" sed /, fallin on my
knees in a tabloO.
"Wati" sed the assembled congre-
gashun.
president johnson has issued a
message, and he amt impeacht"
"Thank the Lord !" piously exclaimed
Deekin Pogram, and, "Thank the Lord -
they all sed, with an intensity of pious-
mis- wich totally unnamed me.
"Read us the blessed document" sed
they.
81 WILL" sed l, but upon feelin for it,
1 found it had slipped out nv my pockit,
on the road. Not havin much yoose
for pockits, I don't keep EN- much in
repair. "But, never mind, I can tell
| it to you ez we'll"
"Go on" sed they with intense ca
gerness.
$50 on" sed Joe Bigler, "lets see
how the message looks after its run
through a Postmaster. Go on"
commenst by Stain that the Presi-
dent sot out with fervent lament that
the Yoonun wuz still in a state Nv dis
organization, and that the ten seceeded
States wuz not agin under the flag.
"How troo and how lamentabIe the
trooth !" sighed Capt. McP Pelter, late Of
the G. S. A.
81 omit all references which he elo-
quently makes NV the necessity nv un-
ion; ct cetra, and pass to the only pint
wich is NV interest to us. Firstly, he
recommends to Congress to take the
back track"
"Amen!" shouted Deecon Pogram.
''That the work wich they hev been
doin in opposishen to his policy, he to-
wunst repealed-to-wunst and prOmtly.
He dwells at length upon the fact that
the Constitooshen guarantees to all the
States a Government Republican in
form; that it gives to every citizen a
habis corpus. l don't jist remember
the argument that follows, but it may
be inferred. Its us he's plsadin for
for us his bowels yearn. How kin a Stait
hev government republican in form,
when one half NV its citizens, wich the
good nv the tother half require to be
kep in state of Scriptooral servitood,
are a going about free, and a doom ez
they choose? From this, by an easy
transishen, he dips into the CRATE and to
us all important subject nv niger suf-
frage, and on this he is the movinist
writer who ever fetched pen to paper.
He holds that the niggers Nv the South
ern States are so constitootid Just now
that they can elect President, and that
there a wrong is committed. He bleves
they aren't fit to exercise the franchise,
that only the naughty master race,
whose minds IS cultivated to the proper
degree, who possess the intelligence,
shood hev that blesSid privilege. He
holds that the all-important ballot shood
only be welded by those who are fitted
morally-Basconn, set pint of whisky
on the stove, and gitit pipin hot for me
and mentally, and who heV had that
ediucashen that fits 'em 50 that it can
be exercised safely, and hence in the ten
States only the white race are justly
entitled to it, and"
aHold minit,' sed Joe Bigler.
"Agreein with the President that the
ballot shOod only be given to them wich
kin read; appreciatin the horrid dan
ger NV givin it to them who lack this
qualification, / want all that he sez on
that he'd to be red in full for our en-
litenmeut l hev copy Nv the mes