The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1868-03-13
The First U'eddjB0- BiOOrdphN
0fhe HGppV couple.
- 4 pIsTANr RELArIII

Of'Hje Hdppy couple.
/ By a DISTANT RELATIVE.
a great many years ago-long before
il had entered into the head Of man 20
build the Tower Of Babel, or laV out the
city Of Buffalo, ,or DO many other fool
Ish and wicked things there dwclt I'm
q distant land q gentleman called Adam
whose surname was Firstman, who be-
came enamOured Of a beautiful Young
lady known as Eve B Guild His at
tenuons appear 10 have been accepted
and reciprocated by the young lady, and
she became convinced that he was =" the
only man whom she could ever love, -
if we may judge by the following COM
municati0n which she made 70 John
Milton, who followed the rather Singu-
lar vocation of advertising things " lost
and fOuLd' upon her Fathers estate.
Confirmed then / resolved Adam shall
share with me in the bliss or woe so
dear / love him, that with him all
deaths | could endure, without him live
no life
This being equivalent TO the modest
declaration that the lady is willing that
her lover should begin to " pay her
board, " arrangements were Immediate
" made TO have the union consuming
ted, and in the absence Of any official
clergyman, the ceremony was perform
ed in the most simple and unOstentatiOus
manner, IN the beautiful garden of Eden.
The suspicious moment having arrived,
the groom took the white and little hand
Of his bride, unadorned even by q " plain
gold ring, and, afiectiOnately Imprint
ing upon il a kiss, reverently said ::
This is now bone Of my bone, and
flesh Of my flesh, therefore shall man
leave his father and mother and cleave
unto his wife, and they shall be one
ilesh.' No cards. Thus was joined in
holy bonds of WedlOck the first couple
II which we have any knowledge
There was no rOtund, spectacled' IA
ther-in-law. no interested mother-in-
law with her legendary smelling-bOttle,
and no dear unmarried aunt present.
Nor was the ubiquitous d" Jinkms''
there 10 q" write up the affair. so the
readers OF the Daily Post DiiuriQa could
not take in, with their coffee and cakes,
next morning, q detailed account u
what was done, and said and worn, at
the wedding, much to the regret. doubt
less, of the Jolly Post Diluvian-. But.
Jinkins, had he been there, would have
found ii difficult to get up a sensation
article, for there Was an entire absence
OF all obtrusive display and reckless eX-
travagance upon the occasion refreshing
contemplate. The outfit ofthe groom
was plain and simple, perhaps the most
noticeable thine about it being che al-
scucc of the dress coat. - prescribed ou
such occasions by cur best society,"
The bridal costume was marke by per-
feet simplicity and the absence Of all eX-
pcnsive and eXtravagant adOrnments.
There must have been something very
becoming in this costume, as certain
ladies' in fashionable life, at the present
day, initiate il as closely a. possible,
when in full dress
Dispensing with the practice now so
prevalent, Of INDUCING in wedding
tour, and not caring To publicly proclaim
themselves as newly married 10y the Oc-
cupatiOn ofthe Bridal Chambers in the
hotels and on steamboats,, the happy
couple settled quietly down To enjoy the
cares of married life in the Garden Of
Eden, and were noted for their plain
and Wnpretending manner in living.
They kept no carriage, hired no opera
box, gave no costly entertainments, but
cOntented themselves with the simple.
of enjoyment incident to the circum-tau-
ces and surroundings. Adam was q
good husband, he spent his evenings
(and good many of his days at home
he had no business engagements down
street, after dark, nor did he belong to
a club. He spent his evenings at home
with his wife, whom he never humiliat-
ed by coming home late O'nights with
- brick in his hat' and very ambig-
uOus dialect. He did not even color
meerschaum, but retained III his cheeks
the color which else had been transmit
ted in deeper hue to the bowl Of the
pipe. His sleep was undisturbed by the
effects of dissipation or the Nightmares
Of the stock market hence was calm
and refreshing. Undoubtedly he was
an early riser and loved the dewy
mornn-as we are sure he did q" the gem
tie Eve" Eve was, doubtless. a very
beautiful woman. Milton testIfies that
grace was in all her steps, heaven in
her eyes, in every gesture dignity and
love- She deserved, if any Of her sex
ever did, the credit of caring little for
the Establishments of dress. Her tastes
and habits were eminently domestic,
and for her in truth there was no place
like home.
Her amusements We're few; she cared
little for opera or ball, but she probably
attended the matinees of natures song
sters in the open air, where usheTs, pro-
gramme, and reserved seats were UNI
known, and it is not unlikely that she
frequently accompanied Adam to see
the managerie or collection of animals
in the garden. We know that Adam
went, for the Scriptures tell us that up
hA oil ha IN q IL
names.
Eve, so far as we know, spent little
time and money in " shopping and it
it is not probable that she had ever
heard Of" Stewards" the Mecca of Anne
rican woman. She never sent Adam TO
a restaurant for his meals on Mondays
because II were washing days" nor
made his life miserable by reasons of
of semi-annual " house cleaning She
was not heartless woman Of the world,
nor did she ever indulge in gossip or
scandal: she had no affiliations with
Mrs. Grundy and kindred spirits, and
never troubled herself about the owner
ship of any extra pair of stockings dang
ling from her neighbors' clOthes-line.
Eve was frugal, cOntented and happy,
moving serenely in first circles, and, UNI
doubtedly. Adam loved her devotedly.
Mr.. Milton, who appeared to have es-
teemed the family highly, intimated as
much, and we have no doubt that he
knew. We regret to add that misfor-
tune eventually came upon this happy
family. Eve unfortunately became in
voIved in the transaction in fruit-ap-
pies, principally-in which Adam was
involved and their property, including
the homestead" passed out OF their
possession, and they were obliged to
seek a residence elsewhere. From this
time we know little about them except
that Adam, by careful attention to his
diet. managed TO live TO reach the age of
$50. and died in prime of manhood, his
life being shortened, doubles, material
Iy by the loss of his property. Whether
Eve survived him or deceased first Wa
cannot say, but presume she did.-Bg-
falo Commercial Advertiser.
g9 jesse D. Bright Qate of Indiana)