Middletown transcript., 1868-05-23
For the Midiieto,cn Transcript.
NEAR MIDDLETOwN, May Nth, 1868

Having come to town on Saturday night
last | met some of my country friends,
who, after talking over things in general,
asked me if was going to the Tablix vi
wants. Tablix Vivants, l said to myself,
what does that mean? Then the thought
strnck me-Tablix means fighting and Vi
wants means pictures. Yes, Twill go, I said, /,
and so we started to see the fighting pic
lures.
Mr.. Editor, I can't give you a full de-
scription, but will tell you of some things
| saw.
Well, we reached the place, and shortly
after getting seated heard bell ring and
up went curtain, when, to my great sur
prise, / saw three beautiful ladies all dressed
to death, who they called Miss Faith,
Miss Hope, and Miss Charity. This scene
was enjoyed by those who had heard and
read of it, and I, Mr.. Editor, was one of
those, having read of it in very old and
rare book call 'Mother Goose's Melodies" +"
which was bequeathed to me by my grand
father, who imported it. 81
The burning Of Joanis in the Ark was a
heart-rending scene. 1t was a lady tied to
a stake with lot of burning brush around
her. This pleased the audience very much
they claped and stamped their feet until l
thought they would tear the house down.
But on me it had different effect; it
shocked me so, tainted. / came TO my
self again just in time TO see the curtain
rise again and TO behold soldier reading
the death warrant to Mary. She was on her
knees listening to her fate ) around her were
some of he friends, all of fwhOm looked sad
" Immediately after was the execution of
her. There she was, poor thing, with her
head on block, and just behind her was
a Ku-K -Klux- Klan with q big axe ready to
chop her head off. This also pleased this
hard-hearetd audience, who clapped their
hands louder than ever, but it was too
much for me. l told my companions that
l was going out, that didn't want to see
any ones head cut off, and that would
wait down town for them, and so went.
After waiting until it was pretty late,
went around to the Tablix again, and just
as l got in heard them call out Artemas
Wards Wax Figgers. Thinks I, to my
self, there must be some mistake, for old
Artemas died long time ago. While l
was thus pondering, the bell rang and up
went the curtain, and then came old Arte-
mas, sure enough, with the same old coat
and pants on that saw him wear nearly
twenty years ago.! He made speech, in
which he described his Figgers. He said
his Tanbureen girl played at the hanging
of Haman, that his Pugilists decided the
battle of Waterlu, that his musical genius
died while singing and was taken in wax
at the time, expressly for his show, that
his NEUROLOGICAL subject swept the cobwebs
from the sky, that after the battle of Bull
Run, CORVALLIS and Lady Suffulk took
snuff together, that his organ grinder (who
was handsome man, Mr. Editor) led the
victorious armies on toithe halls of Monte
yuma! After closing his speech, he wound
up his Figgers. The girl beat the tambu-
reen, the pugilist fit, the musical genius
sung, the NEUROLOGICAL subject waved her
broom CORVALLIS and Suffulk took sunff,
the organ-grinder turned his crank, and
old Arteliias, himself, danced.
This last part was good, but the rest l
didn't like and never intend to go to any
more Tablix Vivants. COUNTRY.