National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1868-12-25

our nose outraged with Whit from
an old pipe than our ear deafened
with the clatteI of crazy retormer.
We would not have even the mar
who snutfs, and chews, and smokes,
all i'll the same minute, kicked to
death by the heels OF our hobby
William Ii. Seward snuffs. Rufus
Choate took opium. George w.
Bethune smoked. Good Abraham
Van Nest had wine on his table
Presidents of colleges have chewed
tobacco. And | expect that after
we have been gone SO long that our
resting place shall be as completely
unknown as that of Moses, many
will get to heaven who have not
thought just as we do. We will
never turn people into the right way
by riding over them with our hobby.
We take step farther, and look
at some of our theological hobbies.
This is the only kind of horses that
ministers can afford to own, and you
ought not to be surprised il some
times in this way they take an air
ing. We have had some troubles of
late in the fact that in these days
of brotherhood, Old School and New
School got astride of the same hob,
by, aud one fell off before, and the
other fell off behind. There was not
room enough for so many between
name and tail. 1t is we'll to remem
Der that hobbies sometimes kick,
and that theologlans, like other
people, are vulnerable.
How apt we are to get religious
theory, and ride it up hill and down,
and expect that all the armed cav
airy of the church shall make way
for our hobby! There are theolo-
gians who spend their time in try
ing to drown Baptists, thinking it a
great waste to have so much water
and not use it for some decisive pur.
pose. Others would like to upset
the anxious bench of the Methodists,
and throw them on their faces, SO
that they would make less noisc.--
Others would like nothing better
than to rip hole in the Surplus OF
Episcepacy. Others take the doc
trine of election for their ,favorite
theory, and ride, and ride, till they
find themselves elected to leave the
settlement. Others harp on the
perseverance of the saints till they
are unherscd by the perseverance OF
sinners And this good man de
votes himself to proving that il
,fhaat Gea 2 Fad /, I'll fallen clear out Of thei
acquaintanceship.
This ecclesiastic gives his time t.
controversy, and his matin and vcs
per are, " Blessed he the Lord, whC
tcacheth my hands to war and my
fingers to fight" Such persons wer'
sound asleep that Christmas nigh
when the angel song fell to the hills
" Peace on earth, good will to men.
We have been watching for th'
horns % come out Oh their forehead
They the rams and the he goats
I They feel that they were appointed
from eternity to stick somebody, ant
they beat Samson i'll the number O
Philistines they slay with the sam
weapon. They 90 to the Bible a
toemcn to Springfield Armory o
Troy Arsenal, demanding so man.
swords, rifles, and columbiads. The
were made in the same monld 4
Morrissey, the pugilist, and shoul'
long ago have been sent to Congress
Like ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS they hay
claws, and, like him, ought to go t
grass. In the day when the lam
and the lion lie down together, W
fear these men will be out with
pole trying to stir up the animals
Here are brethren who devote
themselves to the explaining of th
uneXplainable parts OF the Scripture
Jonah's whale comes just in time &
yield them whole barrels of Dlubbei
They can explain why it was tina
Jonah was not digested by the whal,
The gastric Juice having no powe
to act upon living body, it did 1T
dissolve the fibrine or coagulate
i albumen into chyme, and cons
quently it could not pass the pylor
orihce of the stomach. Beside, th
: was an intelligent whale. and pro-
: ably knew that he had swallowed
. minister who had "a call to Nlnevel
and never had any intention OF tutI
l ing him into whale, but rather
' prepare him for that class of mini
4 tcrs who are lachrymose, and on q
, occasions disposed to blubber. "
have heard men explain this mirac
). by natural laws until we felt OF
G selves attacked by the same sickne
/ that disturbed the lcviathan OF q
q Mediterranean when ho sudden
u graduated the prophet and we I,
'. sure that it, in an unguarded m
6 mcnt, we had swallowed a Jonah,
If would have had good prospects
speedy dcliverancc.
= Our expounder must also cxpla
u the ass that spoke to Balaam. L
VI probability is that tho animal h
ii originally been endowed with pa
u ers OF vocaliza.ion, but being OF
u lethargic temperament, had ne,
= until that day found sufficient
ri ducemcnt to express himself
w probability being that this amin
y always retained .hc faculty ofspee
le and was married, and that he ha'
er long line OF descendants, who 81
u like the one of the Scriptures,