The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1868-12-22
From the Home Journal.
APRECOCIOUs A CHAP.
BY Z O. MUDKLURK.


and allow him plenty Of money. But
John, with all his other attainments,
never could accustom himself to the
society of females not because he didn't
like the girls, but because his shy nature
would not permit him to associate with
the fair sex. 1t once happened, not
very long ago, either, that Johns father
had some very important business to
transact in the city. He also had some
very particular affairs to attend to at
home, which demanded his personal at
tention, and, not possessing the power of
ubiquity, he delegated his son John to
transact that in the city.
John, being thus commissioned, i'm
mediately proceeded to the city and to
the residence of his fathers old friend,
whom he found to be very nice old
gentleman, with beautiful daughter,
and gold spectacles.
John was ushered into the parlor, "a
new thing to him, and motioned to
sea-no IA sofa, (another new thing.)
! But We must use his own language:
81 took my seat and made observations
Everything was fine! Fine carpets fine
sofas, fine tables, fine curtains, fine books
fine pianos, fine everything, aud especi
ally fine young lady who was dressed
in fine silk, fine satin and who had fine
curls, and very fine appearance gencr-
ally.
After chatting with the old gentleman
a few minutes, he took down his hat told
me to make myself at home for an hour
or two, and left-left me alone with his
daughthr and small mischievous boy
the young lady's brother, I didn't rel
ish the situation at all. The idea of my
keeping city belle engaged in conver-
sation for two hours perdition! ST.
lence reigned in that parlor for short
time, you may bet. amused myself as
much as possible with the boy-that is,
l loaned him my knife and my watch key
and watched him cut holes in the carpet
with one and spoil the other. / don't
know what would have done had it not
been for that boy-he was so good to at
tract ones attention, you know.
1t is true that he asked some very star
Ting questions occasionally, such as this
for instance: care you are goin' to court
sister Emily?" but such things must be
expected under such circumstances.
Miss Emily, thinking, no doubt, that
to be good hostess, she must keep her
guest engaged in conversation, asked me
chow l liked country life,' etc. She
said that lit must be beautiful sight to
see the laborers, both male and female,
romping on the new mown hay on New
Years day; that she always did think
that she would like to spend Christmas
in the country a nut gathering with the
village lads and lasses; that it always
had been mystery to her how they got
the eggs Off the trees without breaking
them" etc.
In return, l thought that to keep up
my part ofthe conversation, it was ne
cessary for me to quote poetry and the
like, which 1 did. Among other quo
tations, l unfortunately repeated the
well known lines of Shakespeare:
There is q divinity that shapes our cnds
Rough hew them as we will"
At this juncture, the boy, who had
perched himself upon my knees, looked
very earnestly into my face and said =
''Divinity shaped the end of your nose
mighty Gurus" I'm certain that l blush
ed little l am very certain that I wish
ed somebody would spank one of his
well, we talked of hills, mountains,
wales cataracts-I believe | said water
falls, when the boy spoke up and said (:
"Why sisters got trunk full ofem up
stairs pap says they are made outen
hoss hair"
| This revelation struck terror into me
and bushes into the checks of my fair
companion.
| 1t began to be very apparent to me that
I must be very guarded in what l said,
lest said boy might slip in his remarks
at uncalled for places in fact l turned
all my conversation to him. l told him
he ought to 60 home with me, and see
what nice chickens we had in the corm-
try. Unluckily, l mentioned a yoke of
calves that my little brothers owned
| The word calves ruined all The little
fellow looked up and said: "Sister's
| got dozen of'em, but she don't wear
'cm only when she goes up in town on
windy days
''Leave the room, you unmannered lit
tic wretch!" exclaimed Miss Emily,
''lcave immediatelyn' a.,
Il know what you want ME to leave
for, replied he; ''you can't fool me
You want to set in that mans lap and
kiss him like you did Bill Simmons the
other day--you can't fool me! I'll jis'
tell you Gimme some candy like he did
then I'll 60. You think that because
you've got the Grecan Bend that you're
smart! Guess | know a thing or two !
I'm mad at you, anyhow cause yistiddy
if it hadn't been for you gittin them
curls you've got On, doggone ye! You
needn't turn SO red in your face, cause ]
can't see it for the paint! They amt
no use in you winking at me with that
+ glass eyeo yourn, cause l amt going
out'n here, that's what's the matter with
the purps! don't care ifyou are TWEEN
weight years old, you amt no boss o
+ mine, you ole fool
That is all the story that JOhn related.
lie says he don't know how he got cut Of
the scrape. --..
MoRAL.--Beware of knowing children.
| -es--
The longest artillery range on record
in England, viz: 10000 yards, was at
, tanned at Shoeburyness, last month, by
, Whitworth's 9-inch muzzle loader gun
of fourteen tons, firing shot of two
hundred and fifty pounds, with Il charge
Of fifty pounds.
, About nine o'clock Monday morning
Solomon Carver and his wife, who lived
in Indiana, opposite Warsaw, Kentucky,
. had quarrel, and the wife become so
enraged that she seized y heavy billet OF
: wood and struck her husband on the head
\ killing him instantly. The couple had
e lived unhappily for some time, and dom
e este quarrels had been quite frequent OF
late. ~.