The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-01-24
SPARE LINES.

Siu wneii INC Wy Co OIL nis WI.
Few ladies' are 80 modest as to rsfbsc tn
sit in the lap OF luxury.
Minis,en arc gentlemen who may lie de.
fined sspersons who lire by teaching others
how to dc.
a base hall struck little boy in the eye,
last wesk. and the bawl at once came out Of
Iii, mouth.
Seeing girls hy moonlight is now called
mect.sr-ology. tbs regarded rs tune
with very pleasant sort Of metre.
Young Jenkins is getting along in house,
keeping very well. lie can carve dish OF
hash with considerable skill.
President Johnson has been presented
with walking sticks in plenty. He will set
walking papers soon.
Why is "a loaier in printing office like n
shade tree' Because we arc glad when he
leaves
What Is the difference between barber
and noiher3 One have razop to shave,
and the other has shavep to raiss.
Who ever heard woman with pretty
ankles and whole stocking, complain Of
wet sidewalks or muddy cro~ings' Who?
The most popular conundrum in young
ladies' Neutrality-suspicious.: Who is our lav-
ori,c Roman hero Z? Marius tmarry us.J
Whatever el-e you borrow, never borrow
trouble. II never does you any good. and
when YOU return il YOU get no thanks.
The reason why so many people do no,
speak the truth is that they arc no, nc
quainred with it. They don't like to have
anything TO do with strangers.
A young nnn a, Neck Of Land has cut
two cords and one foot at one blow Of the
axe. tIfany one sees any joke in this il is
more than the young man does a, presently
The advice Of Dickens to the Scholarship
boys-"Do all the work you can. and make
no luss about its equally good for boys
Of u larger growth.
An lrishman short time in this country,
was eating boiled green com.-Aftcr eating
oil all the corn, he passed tho cob back to
the lady who sat at the head Of the table,
saying; ",Sould You please be 30 kind as
to put some more beans on the stick"
DIR. Adam Clark, who had a strong aver
sion to pork, was called upon to say grace
n, dinner where the principal dish was
roast pig. Tie is reported to have said -
20 Lord, if Thou caust bless under the Cos
pei what Thou didst curse under the law.
bless this pig"
A few weeks since man approached
the rope tn which is attached the balloon
in which the people In Paris are making
uscensions. He drew a knife, when the
people asked him his intention. 4My wife"
he replied. us up in the balloon, and I'd
give hundred francs for tho privilege Of
cutting the rope" The offer was refused.
There is now living ut Lairg, Scotland, a
shoemaker who married on the sumo day
with the Prince Of Wales, and he(the shoe.
maker) has had a son for each son the
Queen has, and a daughter for each daugh-
ter, and all born in the same month Of the
year. The Court Journal calls this "com-
pe,ing with royalty"
Tho lower your senses arc kept, tho bet.
ter you may govern them. Appetites are
commonly like two buckets, when one is ut
the top the other is ut the bottom. Now,
OF the two, hal rather the reason bucket
should be uppermost. The senses arc
some Of them 50 mean, they relish scarcely
anything but what they beg for.
A sporting Quaker puts his bets thus,
"Fricnd Edward, thee thinks thy horse is
ias,er than mine. value my opinion nj
twenty dollars. Now, IL thee values thy
opinion at the same rate, we will put the
money together and ask our horses what
they think Of il, and leave the conclusion to
them.
What young ladies' sometimes suppose to
he the heart ache is merely snlallsized
attack Of dyspepsia; AMI supposed dis
ordered condition OF the little palpitator Is
merely that Of the stomach. Signs and
sol, words will never cure the difficulty
but fresh mir, energetic walking, and prop
CT food will.
An exchange very truihfnlly remarks,
tha, whether the people will ], or not. their
local paper is their representative abroad.
their ambassador in foreign parts, by which
they must be judged. Let them, then, take
n patriotic interest in giving il news, Coop
Grafton and patronage. Like every duty
performed, il will DO their gain in the long
run.
Woulds, thou know the lawliilncss OF the
action which thou desirest TO undertake ?
Let Thy devotion recommend j, to Divine
blessing; il il he lawful. thou shalt per.
cci,c thy heart encouraged by thy prayer
il unlawful. thou shalt find thy prayer dis
couraged by Thy heart. That action is not
warrantable, which either bushes to beg
blessing, or having succeeded, dares not
present thanksgiving.
allow dismal you look =" said q bucket