Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1868-09-02
The Chicago SayanS.
4 HUMOROUS DFsCRIPTIOy

Among the questionable actions of the
American Association for the Advancement
OF Science, now in session at Chicago, was
the admission to membership of two hun
dred and six residents of that city, who are
ndoubtedly experienced and successful busi-
ness men, spectators. lawyers and politi-
clans, but never have been at all distinguished
for scientific attainments. The association,
in the excess of its gratitude for the pro-
verbal hospitality of Chicago, seemingly
knew no other way of making return than
by the admission of these prominent citizens
to membership. to the most of whom the
technicalities of science are mystery or
bore and whose sudden initiation into the
association is regarded as capital joke both
by themselves and their friends. A writer
for the Chicago Tribune, makes sport of the
whole business in an exceedingly humorous
STYLE We quote what he says, with the re
mark that the names mentioned are those of
the best known grain speculators, lawyers.
editors politicians and business men OF
Chicago The writer says
"In looking over the list of the Chicago
sarans, who can help being proud of the con
tributions they will make to the scientific
knowledge of the world at their first meet
ING the record of which will undoubtedly
appear in the daily press somewhat after the
| following fashion:
1.-The session of the American Scientific
| Association, yesterday was one of peculiar
| interest, from the large number OF essays
which were read Professor Jerome Beecher
,vs.d f,eror the rol~tio-S hntrann 6saS
and the dividends, showing that the pre-
historic man never received any profits from
its Illuminating properties, and that solomon
was quite irregular in payiug the gas bills OF
! the Temple Professor James I'll. Bowen
read an essay on WOOL showing by the con-
| formation of Uncle Ned's head that the old
| legend respecting the condition of his caput
could not have been true. Dr. Clinton
Briggs gave the albraic formula, starting on
the basis of L, which keeps Merchants
| Union stock at "a This view was also cor
rohorated bv an able paper read by Professor
| c. B. Farwell. Prof. G. NJ Cady delivered
an oral argument proving that Steck piano
had been dug up underneath the skeleton of
a mastodon in an alluvial formation, and
that the skeleton of an aborigine was seated
at it. From the position of the pe.rifed
fingers on the keys, he had discovered a chord
in the touching song Let me kiss him for
his mother. thus proving the immense age
of this ballad.
professor Crosby read valuable paper
on the White Fawn splendid individual
of this genus having been found in the lower
Silurian of the ancient bed of Lake Erie
This paper was illustrated with diagram
showing that this peculiar Fawn must have
revolved on its axis with regular motion.
Near this petrifcation he had found some hi
| eroglvphics-s c.. LOO; d. G. do
which he interpreted to mean Orchestra
Chairs. 500 Dress circle, same. DIR.
John B. Drake, F. R. s., read a highly in
teresting paper on the legend He's good
fellow but can't keep hotel The associa-
ton in discussing this paper, however, diff
fered so widely that they at length resolved
unanimously to live at the fremont three
months at the Doctors expense, to find out
wby the good fellow couldn't keep hotel
A recess was then granted, and the asso-
citation lunched at the residence of Professor
DR.. Dyer During the informal conversation
reference was made to the old slow coach
davs when Chicago had but one sauant-the
late Colonel Graham-and the famous Dyer
story was revived. At dinner party DIR.