Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-10-10
Instantly his face became cold,

Instantly his face became cold,
ashen. 9s sara
I exclaimed, "Henry-Henry Park
hill, what is it ?'
He rose and walked away without
answering, and an houi afterward saw
him leaning heavily against tree, like
a man who had had blow. 1t was all
inexplicable to me. At dinner that
day be was quiet and kind, and his
/ manner never changed afterward. 1
was patient and waited. Sometimes
the love that was in me cried out for
food. l must have the old tender ways
of performing triAing services. l must
have the old glances and loving tones.
Sometimes would get up and walk
half the night, with my hands clasped
above my head, and a famishing cry
ever repeating itself in my heart !:
"Give me, Henry, or l die" but
could not die. -
A few weeks after that morning,
Eveleen came home from school. She
was lovely. Let me look at her as she
looked then. need to remember her
now. The slender, graceful figure, the
light, floating curls,- the good, trustful,
charming face, with its infantile sweet
ness; the sweet, spoilt-child voice, with
its sauciness that was never saucy, and
its fonduess that was so witchiug. The
butterfly wings have gone now. loved
her then, love her now, with a greater
love than sisters ordinarily bear for each
other, but never wanted to be like
her. Strange to say I had always a
curious fascination for myself l never
wished to change my dark-ringed, agate
eyes, that seemed to have bright light
burning in them when looked at them
in the mirror; 1 liked my large mouth,
with its mobility; my short nose was
piquant, and Frightened my otherwise
mournful cast of countenance. Then,
too, my white forehead, with its straight
black brows, suited me; my complex
ion, which is neither fair nor dark, but
a shadowed, waxen palor, reminded me
too strongly of Goethe's Mignon to be
anything but beautiful If had been
a painter, just such face would have
been my foundation fer every picture
intended for display of the passions,
and the difference of expression would
have made the faces entirely unlike.
Henry Parkhill used to say my one set
of features held the whole range of hu-
man feeling, aLd-he would end with
a laugh-could change sometimes even
to beauty.
Eveleen's brightly tender look was
sometimes very sweet to me, purifying
and calming; and again it insensibly
irritated me, it was so shallow and weak,
and l would have changed it to any
thing else, even anger, if l could. But
when those soft, uplifted eyes looked at
Henry Parkhill, and l saw, as soon as
he did, the love that lighted them,
then | turned away strong. resolute
to forget, to harden myself into think
ing that had never cared for him.
There seemed to be valve in my heart
that closed down and smothered the
love instantly. And went on my way,
acting, talking, smiling, just as though
the soul were not gone out of me, and
was not an empty hull l was then
a devoted hospital visitor, and many
wondered that could bear the constant
rack ON which my sympathy was stretch
ed-how | could calmly watch the ago
nies of the dying, and quietly hear the
last horrible cry for mercy when the
torments of the condemned had already
begun, and the despair of the last groan,
''Too late too late - All! blessed is
the hospital visitor without heartl l
was gentle and soothing in my manner
"a habit contracted in the days when
a suffering worm was pain to me-but
no sympathy, no blessed human feeling
was In me. s .r.......r-- ,..
In the meantime, Eveleen was to be
married to Henry Parkhill. The night
of the wedding, just before the ceremo-
ny, was leaving Eveleen's room, where
| had been quieting and calming her,
when l met Henry Parkhill on the
stairs. had my most cordial smile all
ready for the occasion, and was passing
him with merry word, when his wist
full look stopped me.
"Annette," he said, coming close to
me and laying his hand on my head,
s'God bless you and forgive me-" ssz
looked up in his face, and my lips
''felt for smile," but could not find
it. He looked at ME with wondering
gaze and turned away. l walked into
dark room just behind me, and, clos
ing the door, sat down, with my head
against it, upon tie floor. ! sat in a
blind, dead, vacant way, without feeling
or thinking, good while, and then get
ting up, I crept down stairs, just in
time to take my place as bridesmaid.
The time passed heavily enough, hut
still it passed. 1t was comfort to me,
and the only one l had, to see that the
months were going, and that "horrible
appetite for death" that unexpressed
and inexpressible longing for the grave
the grave, the quiet and the darkness
took firm hold upon me. 49,
And yet who SO constantly cheerful
as 1? Who SO bright and active? I
think received more admiration than
ever remember to have had before.
My face lost its dark shadows, and be.
came lighter and Brighter surface
expression-though the old would
look terri6cally at me at nights from the
depths of the mirror. They had fam
ished look, but why was it? I felt
l-lfl:-..- hoxu 4lnx, ao,ld Il nnnd a m