The Union flag. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1865-187?, 1868-09-11
A Wedding Night Shirt.

o. -
Itwasn't hardly the fair thing that
the boys did to joe Thompson tho
nighthe was married, but tho tempta-
tiOn was Irresistible. They could not.
have helpedeit TO save their lives. I'll
tell you how II was.
Joe was about tho most fairly dress.
ed buck in town--over-nic and par
ticular--a perfect Miss Nancy IN man
ners, always putting on airs, and moro
dainty and modest thnn a girl. Well,.
when his wedding day came, be was
dressed trunk empty, and his pantss
especially, fitted him as candle moulds,
and bis legs candles run into them.
Tight was no name for them. Their
set was immense, and be was pronder
than half dozen peacoeks.
NJ Aren't they nice, boys n be asked
Of the two boys who were to be
| groomsmen, and see that he threw
himself away after tho most approved
manner.
Stunningl GorgeousY replied
Tom BenDctt Never saw anything
equal to them. Bus say, Joe, aren't
they tho leaat bit TOO tight2 Itstrikes
me that You will have some difficulty
lin bending, won't you ~
/ .Pshaw, no; they ars as easy as
an old glove. Seeg s@..
TO prove the matter, he bent down
so as to touch his patent feathers,
when, crack crack followed like
twin reports of revolver. ~.
Phunderp exclaimed Joe, as he
put his hand behind and found a rent
in,the cashmere from stern TO stern.
Thunder, the pants have burst and
what shallI dol' Nfhe5g a
] should rather think they had,'
answered Tom, getting purple IN the
face as he endeavored to control his
laughter; ! but there Is no time 10 ret
another pair. 1t only wants half an
hour tOthe standing up time, and we
have got a mile 70 go--earriage wait
ling, too"
I" What shall LIDO, Oh what shall I
dop VAaffs4 "a cts
| tell you what, if mine would fit
you, you shall have them and welcome,
but they are abouta mile too big ;
they would set like shirt on a bean
pole I,sse no way but toe have them
mended.
Who can l get todo Il, Tom f?
"WeIl, | am something Of tailor,
and can fix them 80 they woA't show.
Hold on minute, and IN get q
needle and thread
L Can you May heaven bless you Z
con with your coat commanded
Tom, as be came back.
Now lay yourself over on the bed
and III fix you in short order
The command was obeyed the
pants mended the coat tails careful
ly pinned oyer, so as to conceal the
e distress for rent" and all went mer-
ry as the marriage bell until Joe fol-
lowed the bride to the nuptial couch.
There was only q dim light in tho
room, but enabled Joe, as 30 glanced
bashfully around, to see the sweetest
face in the world, the rosy cheeks and
bright lips, the lovely and loving blue
eyes, and the golden curls. just peep
ling from out the snowy sheets, and no
extinguished it altogether and hasten
ed to disrobe himself OF came, coat,
vest, fancy necktie and collar, boots
and socks In a hurry, but somehow
the pants stuck The more be tried
the more they wouldn't como, and he
tugged vainly for half an hour
Thunder 7 muttered Joe.
What's the matter, dear r came in
the soAest accents from the bed, where
somebody was wondering ii be was
ever coming: and forgetting bis ac-
customed bashfulness, be blHrted out :
Moll, that cursed Tom Bennett has
seBed my pants, drawers, shirt aud
undershiIt al together
AItis too bad Wait q moment my
dear.
A little stockingless foot peeped out
FIRST. then rufled night dress, the
lamp was lighted, pair Of scissors
found, Joe released and although he
denies it, Tom Bennett swears that
bis wedding shirt was Of the shortest
possible extent, reasoning a Posierio.
t-It is one Of the singular facta
that does not often occur that pots