Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1868-12-27

L
hoof and benefit of some particular
young woman, whose eyes or hair
or toilette may have hit his fancy,
to be told by a DISTINGUISHED female
| friend with the least possible Soap
! con of malicious triumph, that the
object of his devotion is engaged.
All men who have at any time
mingled in the diversions o. The
salon can recall some such expert
ence, and with it, too, the unmistak-
able feeling of wasted opportunity,
the, chagrin Of loves labor lost,
which the information brought with
it. Even we, whose silvering hairs
have scarcely softened the fires of
youth, can remember the pretty
blonde or the fascinating brunette
we danced with vainly for one entire
evening (eheui tugaces) SO long
ago; we can remember her name,
the dimple in her lovely cheek, the
coquettish allurements of her side
long eye; and we renew again after
all these years the tempest of rage
and loathing that tore our manly
bosom and threatened the serenity
Of our unrufied shirt front as we
learned that she was engaged to
that puppy Jones, or that scoundrel
Robinson, as the case may have
been. But we did not then what
we propose to do now; we did not
pauseto morah2e on, and, if posi-
BILE, to analyze the curious conyen-
tionalities which this triumph and
despair pre-supposed and indicated.
The fact is that that peculiar So
cial relation which is known as an
engagement is among she most
amusing studies to which the philo-
sophical student Of society can ap-
ply himself. To appreciate it thor
oughly, however, he ought himself
to have been engaged at least once
and not more than twice. For re-
peated engagements will have con-
fused the accuracy of his recollee-
lions and blunted the delicacy Of
his perception to an extent that
must materially dim the light
which experience would otherwise
have shed upon his inquiry. But
to a man, who has been once or
twice engaged, who is neither q
cynic nor an enthusiast, there is a
never failing fund of entertain
ment in watching the antics of his
neighbors struggling in the net
from which some friendly rodent of |
circumstances has released him. |
He will observe, in the first place,
that for both parties the situation
is singularly disagreeable. For
both it involves nearly all the pri-
vatiOns, without any Of the privi-
leges of matrimOny. Augustus |
must leave his club and abandon
his cigar he must exchange those
cosy little dinners q trOiS platS at |
the cafe for dreary and i'll cooked
banquets at his intended father-in-
laws he must put up with chatting
from his bachelor friends, and he |
must sacrifice the affectionato and
platonic regard of all his female |
OF course, where a
man is really in love, greater sacri- |
fees than these should be gladly
but after all, the sincerest |
in the world will not pre-
vent an engaged man from feeling
that his position is false and irk- |
some in the extreme. Arabella is,
no doubt, the best girl in the world, |
and loves you very dearly, though
no better than you love her; yet
there are times when Lucinda, for
example, who doesn't care a button
for you, and for whom you care even |
less, would be a much more agree
able companion, At a dancing
party, let us say, where Lucinda
waltzes like a sylph and Araballa,
dear creature that she is, like
well, unlike Lucinda, and yet your
forbids you to follow
the inclination which would give
you a good partner instead Of a
poor one, and delight instead of
torture. So too at the opera, where |
despite your affection, you cannot
help constrasting the cold indiffer-
ence of Arabella, who, with all her
amiability and goodness has very
little taste for music, with Lucinda's |
enthusiasm and appreci-
alive ecstacies. Then, again, at |
the picture gallery, you remember
how Lucinda fairly vibrated with |
artistic:pleasure overchets doeurres
which the darling of your soul pas
ses with most provoking nOncha-
lance. Now, profound as is your
to your bethrothed, and
firmly as you are convinced that
she of all woman is the one destined
or make you happy, you cannot
deny to yourself that on all these
occasions Lucinda's company would
be vastly more agreeable. After
you are married you can enjoy this |
pleasure which is now denied you
you can dance and firt with Lucin-
da then to your hearts content;
you can invite her to join your
wife in little parties to the theater
or the opera or the concert; you can
go so far as to kiss her and every
other pretty girl that will let you,
and nobody minds it a bit. 1t is
only your way; you always were
wild, and this is but the innocent
freedom of an old Benedict. But
Just try one of these innocent free
dOms while you are engaged, and
pouf! you have Arabella and all
her feminine acquaintance, young
and old, buzzing around your ears
like swarm Of enraged hornets.
1t is this sense of confinement
and restraint that,makes the period
of betrOthal so irksome for even the
most ardent lover. And for the
lady it is even worse. From the
fatal moment of the official an
nouncement there is an end of all