The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1868-11-05
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.

there is not in this wide world hu-
man or inhuman being, that 1 would
not rather help than hurt. 1 find this
sentiment in mi conscience, or 1
wouldn't claim it, and know mi own
conscience better than emmy body else
duz
Better lend yure dimes to stranger
| than your affeckshuns. Better lend
yure dollars to emmy body than yure
dolorS.
+ Silence IL venerable if there il emmy
thing older than the Creator, it must
have been silence.
The buty ov gratitude IL that beg
gar kan be az grateful az prince, and
the poscer ov gratitude il that ..I thank
you" makes the beggar equal to the
prince. A good conscience IL the best
friend we kan hav; bad one is the
worst, because it never deserts us.
Put not oph till tomorrow what
kan be enjoyed to-day. a. .s- ai e-5... q.
Married life IL too often like game
ov checkers-the CRATE struggle il tew
get into the king row.
7 Fear makes every thing and every
boldly masters over us ; it il the worst
slavery there IL.
How common it liz to see folks laff
wildly Hithpput 4ieFii n / iiihl a1n y fling; /;
this I call heat Lightning .JVhatu 81
1 say owe no man owing IL but lit
tie better than stealing.
We are governed more by our opin-
yun than we are by conscience; this
IL giving up anoble prerogative, and
playing Avery poor. second fiddle. ,,,r,I
The man who il striktly honest and
nothing over, haint got ennything
more tew brag on than pair of steel
yards haz. Sum of the meanest Gus
ses L ever knew had got to be honest,
bi long praktiss, SO they could guess
at pound M h,yn FI(1yI
l. If man haint got grit enough to
stand the temptashun ov a gin-cock-
tail, how kan he fight real difikulty
when he gets a chance?
Awl plezzures are lawful that don't
end in making us sorry.
The man Whe kan be proud in the
presence ~ kings; Admble who's 9ie9
communes with himself, sassy tu pow
erty, and polite to truth, il one of the
boys.
Natur duz awl her big and little
jobs without making any furse; the
earth goes round the sun, the moon
changes, the sun eclipses, and the pol
lywog, silently and taillessly, becomes
a frog, but the man kant even deliver
q small 4th of July orashun without
knocking down a mountain or two,
md tearing up three or four primeval I
forests by the bleeding rutes.
Duties are privileges. '''' = j
TLiberty IL just mixture ov free
ton, restraint and protection. l.
Advice il like castor lie, easy enuff.t
% give, but dredful uneasy tew take. t
A good conscience is q aforetaste of G
heaven.
There IL few, if emmy, more sugges-
i've sights tew philosopher, than to f
can agin the side of wall and pur-
ue clean, fat and disciplined baby, f
pread out on the floor, trying to g
mash hammer awl tew pieces with
looking glass. Il
Every man can boast Of one admi- b
er. n
If you would be successful in cor
exiting the iniquitys ov the people,
re at their vices, not at the people;
1etrew way tew abuse a drunkard IL h
brake his jug. a
Life is punktuated paragraph, dis
'azes are the commas, sickness the IL
and death the full stop. O.
No man il rich who wants enny
lore than he haz got. D
Don't give outward app pearances b
vi the credit, the spirit ov a hand
'me boot is the little fut in it. IL
l don't believe in bad luck being,sot q
+ a man, like trap, but 1 have b
1own lots ov folks, who if there i.
uz emmy first rate bad luck lying i;
ound loose, would be sure to get =,
fe foot in it emmy how. 49,
The man who wrote "I would not -
re always, 1 ask not to sta, proba- a.
y had not been urged sufficiently. ~
There is kind ov active Iazyness, "
works on its viktims just as the co
cked flea duz on the feelings ov an ho
house dog, he hops up quick, but mi
ops agin sudden in the same SPOT wl