Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1868-05-06
Let Us Eat Peaches and Die!

While the Impeachment trial is raging and
aboundng in Washington and the Radicals are
running ruugh.,hod over the South; and the
English are triumphing in Atyssinia; and the
Fenians are still troubling the royal Victoria and
tho Htualists are hsnkOrng after the "scarlet wo-
man." and the Low Church party, after Method
ism and Russia is hlotting out the last trace Of
vostigc Of Poland and the beautiful Empress
Eug,nic is growing corpulent; and Brazil and
Buenos Ayres are about to play the Kilkenny. cat
game and Dr. Livingstone still roams in life; and
Victor Emmanuel Of Italy marries off his eldest
son and Louis Ma. oleon and Bismarck are grin
ming ut each other with charming sincerity and
good feeling; and the Northern Methodists want
to ruthleasly gobble up the Southern Methodistsi j
and the great Pacific Railroad stretches further
and further East and West, and will soon meet in
the middle; and the Loyal Leagues are flourish.
ing, and developing day by day the Presbyterian
trait of total depravity; and the Ku Klux Klan,
like every thing else purely Southern, is fast dying
out; and the Radicals are making ready for
their Presidential pow-wow in Chicago, and the
Democrats for thoirs in New York and money
among Southern people is growing small by de-
grecs und beautifully less while all these wonder
full, stupendous, admirable, lamentable things are
going on in tho world, We have the pleasure to in
form the said world that in EdgeGe d there is to
be, this season, An Abundance Of Fruit!
For years we have not witnessed such an inun-
dution of peaches; they are horribly young and
fuzzy, to be sure, but safely beyond the malice Of
jack Frost, and full Of promise. Season after
season, ever since VIC can remember, there has
been universal grumbling over the niggardly sup
DIV of peaches; and now nature, evidently con-
Tossing the "soft impeachment" seems anxious, by
her present prodigality, to atone frr former re-
missuss. Alus we have been guilty Of n sort Of
pun, and We intuitively look around for the fool
killer But back to tho fruit! And not only an
inuudaion of peaches, but of plums, and applea,
and berries.
Before long, re shall all devour peaches with
q most perfect and delightful louseness. Lawyers
will listen to their clients with peaches in their
hands tho broker on the street will conclude
bargain with mopthfpl; the presfher will mount
the pulpit with pocketful; while millions of
perpatetics will cat, as they walk, from morning
till night. The atmosphere will be redolent with
n p.achy fragrance, while peach stones and rinds
will mar and disfgure the face Of mother earth.
And, oh what magnificent specimens will,
throughout The season, grace the editors table,
We totter with delight as VIC think Of it
The only people dscontented with the profuaion
will be the growers, who can scarcely give a,0ay
their fruit Let us offer them our condolence at
loast, pqsmuch as they suffer fer the public good,
We Southern people ere not used to fayars, Lot
us be profoundly thankful for the very smallest
And if we can do no BETTER (aud certainly the pros
pect is bad, let US eat peaches and die