Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1868-05-05

afterwards, pay some attention to to the astro-
nomical punishment which the learned and
honorable Manager Mr.. Boutwell, thinks
should be applied to this novel case OF I'M
parchment, Cicero think it is who says
that lawyer should know everything, for,
sooner or later, there,is no fact IN history, IN
science, or in human knowledge, that will
not come into play n,.his argument. Pro-
foundly sensible of my ignorance, being de-
voted to n profession which sharpens and
does not enlarge the mind, l can admire with
out envying the superior knowledge evinced
BY the honorable Manager.
But. nevertheless, while some of his coll
leagues were paying attention to an unoccu-
pied and unappropriated island on the sur
face of ths seas, Mr.. Manager Boutwell,,
more ambitious, had discovered an untenaut-
ed and uuappropriated region in the skies
laughter reserved, he would have US think,
in the final councils of the Almighty, as a
place of punishment for convicted and-de
posed American Presidents. Laughter.
Now, at first thought that his mind had
become so enlarged that it was net sharp
enough to observe that the Constitution had
limited the punishment laughter but, on
reflection, saw that he was as legal and log
ioal as he was ambitious and astronomical;
for the Constitution had said removal from
office and has put no limit to the distance
of removal. [Great laughter. So without
shedding drop of his blood, or taking a
penny of his property, or ironing his limbs,
he is sentenced to removal from office and
transportation to the skies. Laughter.
This is the great undertaking, and if the
learned Manager can only get over the OBJ
stacles of the laws of nature, the Constitution
won't stand in his way. [Laughter.] [ can
think of no method but that of CONFUSION
OF the earth that should project the deposed
President to this infinitely distant space but
a shock of nature of vast an energy and
so great a result might unsettle even the so
firm members of Congress. daughter x =
How shall we accomplish it? Why, in the
first place, nobody knows where that space is
but the learned Manager himself Laughter
and he is the necessary deputy TO execute
the judgment of the court Let it, then, be
provided that in case of your sentence Of de-
position and removal from Office, the honora-
HE the astronomical Manager shall take into
his own hands the execution of the sentence.
With the President made fast to his broad
and strong shoulders, and having already es-
sayed the fight by imagination, better pre-
pared to execute it in formulating advan-
tage Of ladders, as far as ladders would go, to
the top of this high capitol, and spurning
then with his feet the Goddess of Liberty. let
him set out upon his fight laughter while
the Houses Of Congress and 'all the. people
of the United States shall shout: 'Sicitur
al astra = Laughter, loud and long contin-
ued.f Here an oppressive doubt strikes me.
How will the Manager get back? How,
when he gets beyond the power of gravita-
ton to restore. him, will he get back? And
SO ambitious a wing as his could never stoop
to downward flight. No doubt, as he pass
es through the expanse, that famous question
of Carlyle, by which he points out the little-
ness of human affnirs, what thinks Boots
of them, as he leads his hunting dogs over
the zenith in their leash of sidereal fire will
occur to the managers. What, indeed, would
Bootes think of this new constellation laugh
teri looming through space, beyond the power
of Congress to send for persons and papers ?
ELaughteT.I' Who shall return, and how de-
eide in the contest there begun, in this new
revolution thus established Who shall de-
eide which is the sun and which is the moon?
Who shall determine-the only scientific
test-whch reflects the hardest upon the
other Laughter.