Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-06-12
candle by our own; the latter losing none

nope IHey Will settle without delay. Not
That we need the money-oh, no! Our
INK Is given to us, we steal our paper, and
we win our printers wages at fseven up
so it costs us nothing to carry on business.
Nevertheless, as matter of accommoda-
ton, and to ease their consciences, we
will take what they owe us, if they will
send it in Immediately"
THE owner of an estate in Boston
wished to build stable on a lot adjoining
a church. The neighbors, to prevent
this, caused an order to be introduced into
the Legislature requiring the Judiciary
Committee to consider the expediency of
prohibiting the erection of stables within
fifty feet of church. On recent morn
ing they were very much chagrined to see
stable built, and in working order on the
lot referred to, which stable was entirely
erected during single night, and stocked
with animals
ALBERT HERsEY, of Barnstable, Mass,
was accustomed to rail at the customs of
the day. 1t is said that he lived on milk
and vegetables, and wore coat made of
tanned calf-skins. The widow of his
brother once proposed to visit him. He
wrote: MADAM, I can't have you here;
| am sick, and my wife is sick; have no
hay or corn for your horses; have no
servants; and I had rather be chained to
a galleyoar than wait on you myself" 1t
was this eccentric man who founded the
professorship of theory and practice of
medicine in Harvard University.
The following curious calculation has
been made of the number of changes of
which the kaleidoscope is capable: Sup
posing the instrument to contain twenty
pieces of glass, etc, and that you make ten
changes in each minute, it will take the
inconceivable space of 462,SS0, S99, 576
years and $50 days to go through the i'm
mense variety of changes it is capable of
producing, amounting according to our
frail idea of the nature Of things) to an
eternity. Or, if you take only twelve
small pieces, and make ten changes in each
minute, it will then take 33,264 days, or 81
years and 40 days, to exhaust its varia-
tons.
A SHREwD JUDGE.-A rich man made
his will, leaving all he had to a company
of his fellow-c citizens to dispose of, but re-
serving to his right heir "such portion
as pleaseth them" The heir having sued
the company for his share of the property,
the Judge inquired whether they wished
to carry out the will of the testator, and
if SO, what provision they proposed max
ing for the heir? "He shall have tenth
part" said they, "and we will retain for
ourselves the other nine" "Take, then,
said the Judge, Z" the tenth part for your
selves, and leave the rest to the heir; for
by the will he is to have what part pleaseth
you"
A FRENCH JoKE.-The other evening in
Paris, some students found man dead
drunk in the streets. They put him in a
carriage, shaved the priestly tonsure on
his head, dressed him in the white robe
Of an Augustine monk, with sandals and
a rosary, and delivered him at the mon
astery of the Rue dEnfer. The porter took
him il, and the young men were kindly
thanked for their charitable trouble. The
next morning the drunkard awoke in a
cell, with monk saying prayers at his
bed side, and ready to rebuke him for his
| misconduct. They supposed he had come
from branch of the order at Marseilles,
but it turned out that he was dealer in
chesnuts in the Place Dauphine.
AS AN illustration of business regularity
and precision, an anecdote is told of a
wealthy old gentleman who was to marry
his fifth wife. AS usual, a numerous circle
of relatives and friends were hidden to
celebrate the nuptials. A distinguished
Presbyterian divine was summoned to
" boss the job" The solid ceremony con-
Guided, friends crowded around the happy
pair to offer their congratulations, when
our hero of the five weddings drew forth
his ancient calfskin wallet, coolly counted
out $25, and handing the goodly green
backs to his reverence, blandly but dis
tinctly remarked, "That's what | have
been in the habit of paying!" Fancy the
feelings of the blushing bride
THE phrase, "Sound on the Goose"
originated in Pittsburgh, Pa. That city,
some years ago, was so OVerrun with that
aquatic fowl that its sidewalks came to
be in an intolerable condition. A public
meeting was held on the subject, and at it
the determination of the offending bird
was decided on. A charter election soon
following, the two candidates for the may
orally were questioned as to what would
be their action in the premises in case of
election. The one who was sound on
the goose question" was elected; and from
that date, the phrase crept into general use
among politicians.
No BABY IN THE HOUSE,
No baby in the house, know
TITS far too nice and clean;
No toys by careless fingers strewn
Upon the floors are seem
No finger marks arc on the panes,
No scratches on the chairs
No wooden men set up in rows,
Or marshaled off in pairs;
No little stockings to be darned,
All ragged at the toes;
No pile of mending to be done,
Made up of baby clothes;
No little troubles to be soothed,
No little hands to fold
No grimy fingers to be washed,
No stories to be told;
No tender kiss to be given,
No nicknames love" and Mouse -
No merry frolcs after tea
No baby in the house.
HERE is a thoroughly French story. A
lady was descending the staircase of the
Grand Opera some time since leaning on
her Cousins arm, when gentleman mad
vertently stepped on her long trail of
primrose-colored silk. An apology was
made, but the cousin was not satisfied, for
he muttered the word "clumsy" Twill
not be so clumsy in the morning." was
muttered in his ear. A duel took place
the next day, in which the cousin received
a wound in the shoulder The stranger
obtained an introduction to the lady, was
pardoned, and a marriage is in contempla-
ton. The cousin will probably have to
keep his bed until that interesting cere-
mony is over.
Interesting Statistics of the Book Trade
Of Chicago.