Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-11-27
Wisc md Othcx-xyisc.

than they find.
Old maids Embers from which
the sparks have fed.
Boast of your treasure of grace, and
you are soon robbed. #a
ytrequires greater virtue to support
good than bad fortune.
II man be given to liquor, let not
liquor be given to him.
Beauty unaccompanied by virtue
lie a flower without perfume.
Levity of behavior is the bane Of
all that is good and virtuous.
An obstinate man does not hold
opinions, but they hold him. f.
The duty of tho happy Is to help
the suffering to bear their woe.
Thefts never enrich; aims never
inpoverish prayers hinder no work.
..~ANlady of st. Louis Ia circulating a
petition for the Post office i'm that city.
We are not worthy Of loving truth
when we can love anything more
than that. 81. ....... -..... ..s
The more any one speaks Of him
self, the less he likes to hear another
talked of.
Common sense" says DIR. EN-
mons, sis the most uncommon kind
of sense" -...... -.- ~ae
Moustaches and side whiskers are
the order Of the day for the coming
winter. ..... ..' s".
A benevolent old lady has taken
the idea into her head to knit pair
of hose for a steam engine.
keep your dog away from me ?"
said dandy to a butcher. Hang
the dog, he's always after puppies, {"
said the boy. so o.. $3.50
A lady in Memphis who wants =
certain Mississippi editor to marry,
offers a bridal bonnet to any of her
sex who will take him. ..- .....t
We are obliged to pocket this from
the New York Leader, California 10
to have Chinese theater, and the
actors will never miss their cues"
A New York daily dolefully depre-
Gates the danger, when the Pacific
Railroad shall be completed, of Cali
fornia earthquakes coming East and
doing dire damage. III .-...-...
"Did you ever know such q me-
chanical genius as my son ?" said an
old lady. "He has made fiddle out
of his own head, and he has wood
enough for another.n a1 VIZ
A Troy pig was recently exhumed
from the ruins of an elevator which
was destroyed by fire q month ago,
and his pigship trotted off at Lively
pace. All he had to eat for month
was wheat. --
"What's that asked a school.
master, pointing to the letter \.
Its daddy's name" mo, you
blockhead, it's "" '"Taint X nei-
ther, it's daddy's name, for seed
him write 1t many q time"
\ young man, "illiterate but po-
lite" on being invited to attend
wedding, sent note in response,
saying: II regret that circumstances
fepugnaiit to the acquiesce will pre-
vent my acceptance of the invite"
"Father, did you ever have another
wife besides mother?' mo, my boy;
what possessed you to ask such a
question Because I saw i'm the
old family Bible where you married
Ammo Domini, 1915, and that isn't
mother, for her name was Sally
Smith,"
-. An Alderman came to DR.. Frank
lin and said he had q tendency to the
govt, asking what he could do to
arrest it. "Take a bucket of water
and O ton Of coal three times a week"
replied the doctor, "Why, how 2"
replied the alderman i'm establishment.
Drink a cup of the former three
times day, and carry the latter up
three flight of stairs"
4 New York letter writer SAYS OF
VIM b. Astor, that he "never did an
hours werk in his life, never did n
kindly act, never knew q want un-
grained, has not a real friend on the
plssset. The world awaits his death
as one anti cipates the breaking up of
a,isng dreary winter, in joyful anti
CITATION of the genial flowers and
fragrance of spring"
Viii III. ana myself were driving
to town, some three miles distant,
when we came up with boy walk
ing who asked US to permit him to
ride. We intended to grant his re-
quest, but, desiring to see how he
would take the disappointment,
answered, NO, my boy, you can't
ride with u.s. well, then, he coolly
remarked, perhaps you'll let me
walk behind
A gentleman riding, came to the
edge of morass which he consider
cd not safe. Seeing \ peasant lad, he
asked whether the bog was hard at
the bottom. "Oh, yes, quite HARD"
replied the youth. The gentleman
rode on, but his horse began to sink.
You rascal" shouted he, "did you
not say il was hard at the bottom ?"
$50 it is" replied the rogue, "but
you're not half way to it yet"
A little boy had colt and dog,
and his generosity was often tried 6y
visitors asking him, Just to see what
he would say to give them one or
both OF his pets. One day he told
gentleman present he might have his
colt-reserving the dog, mucn to Tie
TIL piioC VI LIZ luobucT, VINO asked,
Why, Jacky, why didn't you give
Say nothin', say nothin', mother,
when he goes to get the colt, I'll set
the dog on himP
A talented young African of the
boot black persuasion, while dancing
like 81. Vitus over q customers boots
the other day, observed q neighpo
porting wisely over a newspaper,
whereupon he addressed him thus:
Julius, what you lookin' ut dat
paper fur? You can't read"
'Go way, fellah, !" replied the other,
Indignantly. "Guess l can read. Use
big'nff fur dat"
big 'nuf," replied the first one
scornfully. 'Dat amt muffin. A
cows big huff to coch mice, but she
can't do it,"
James Parton writes in Packard's
Monthly: If you look into the early
life of truly helpful men-those
who make life easier or nobler to
those who come after them-you will
almost invariably find that they lived
purely in the days of their youth.
In early. life the brain, though
Astounding in vigor, is sensitive and
very susceptible to injury--and this
TO such degree, that a com parstiyeIy
brief and moderate indulgence in
ss.s, II.