The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-06-20
OUR RARY.

-
there Is necessity for the thing, or else
whe-e would ali the grown people come
from s--this baby was as well IA its way ~
any other baby.
N mention thes, facts merely to prove that
am In no way prejudiced. As far Is NOR
tai man can be, am entir -ly an impartial
witness.
It was fast asleep in It's cradle llttle
white-headed doll with long, dark eye-lashes
and crimson dot Of mouth, against which
lay its tiny fist, With five well-defned dim
pies IN the Eve joints thereof Il was fast
asleep, | say, when Bertha came airily into
the room.
Il am going over to the depot to see mo-
Their OF, Joseph, I'll be back ia half an hour.
1nst Keep an eve to the baby while Pm gone,
will your"
4 looked bankly at my sister. But while
was considering how best to express nv
total dissent from her audacious proposition,
she tripped out of the room, her ribbons Gut.
seFlng ID the soft spring air.
Silence doesn't always give consent. but
Bertha had taken it for granted, in this mat
yer, ana was left an unwilling guardian Of
my little nephew.
however, he was last asleep, that was one
circumstances IN my favor. Mortal baby
couldn't present more innocent and cheru-
bic aspect than he did. So calmly went on
with my writing, soon becoming oblivious to
his infantile presence.
Iaik about tending babies,'' quoth | 20
myself dipPing my goose-quill triumphantly
lnto the lax, why it's the easiest business
m me. l should never spend my money
hirlng nurses, if the little one was mine
but women never do know how to economize
properly"
As these tancies passed through my mind,
the bAoy woke up and sueezed.
gave the cradle an oscillatory kick, and
then burst forth into the well. known burden
o. bye baby bunting" but the little vii
lain absolutely declined to shut bis ewes
again, like sensible baby. He opened them
wider fhan two Miniature moons. stared nj
zoe with an EirAfmaleyolenee that has made
me firm believer in hunass. deppayity eyer
since, and deliberately began q CRY. And
the harder | rocked the cradle aud the louder
sang, the more resolutriy did thst baby
cry.
"He's hungry" thought to myself. "Ba.
bies must be fed, aud it's highly reprehensi-
BILE q Bertha to stay away so long"
30 went down into the pantry and in
stituted search for some milk which had
vague idea was the diet generally preferred
by toothless Infancy. But milk there WAS
none. Lamp oil, Stewards syrup, vinegar.
kerosene, brandy, every thing but milk was
there; every conceivable fluid in aggrayat-
ing profusioD-but not drop Of milk.
Au this time, meanwhile, the roars of nv
infuriated little nephew, but slightly Soften
ed By distance, followed me about like Ne
mesis.
rushed franhcally up stairs armed with
lump of sugar, the first soothing expedient
that suggested itself to me.
Bless its little heart, there. there con-
found your racket, can't you keep still I
Take It's sugar from its own, own uncle, that's
little golden boy"
But the golden boy absolutely rejected the
sugar, screaming louder than ever. A IL its
lungs were forty baby power, and plrranted
never to tire out. II Kicked. il struggled. IL
paved the air, it grew purple in tie lace
Ashes Of king Herud and all the Egyptians |!
what was man to do?
In vain / executed war dance around lis
cradle, Ia vain | rang the dinner-bell. and
Jngled the china ornaments, aud waved the
feather buster, and swung mF gold repeater
and bawled nursery ballads at the TOP Of nv
lungs. Talk about perseverance. Robert
Bruce's spider was nothing to that attroc;ous
little Jump or mortality.
There's nothing for it but to capitulate.' ;,
said ! to myself, as Jjammed my hat on nv
head, vlclously thrust my arms INTO nv over
coat, and seized the baby out of its cradle.
Leave It absolutely alone dared not. ana
the nearest grocery where milk was procur-
abs lay three blocks off Thus, in a sort
OF stony despair l issued forth from the
house, carrying my prosecutor like bundle
under one ann.
- thought he would stop crying when he
got into the open air, 5 u s.e,.sgEsen.
only seemed to increase the shrill power Of
bis Siiiainous little pipes People turned to
stare at me Is II we're an = ADed lunasic.
OF an aoductor OF human innocence. Women
looked indignantly at the baby. Blue worst
cd SOCKS and little pink legs kicking blindlv
from beneath my arms. Children ran after
me, dogs barked, but kept doggedIy on NV
way, walking into the grocery, with reso-
tuition second only to that Of the Roman fell
low who jumped into crater, nobody knows
now many hundred years AGO.
pat OF milk, il you please"
MIX srr Have you brought anything
tnougnt Of my tobacco box. nv pocket
nandkeschief, the corner Of my hat. All Of
tnese lmpracticable places for the deposit Of
the Acteai fluid.
i never thought Of thatr' I said right
ing the baby, who came head uppermost with
very crimson countsnanoe, and ewes lock.
ing eefiantfY into nilBS; eyes that said as II
tney mad spoken in 80 many svllables. al
wont stop crying, I'll die frat ri
cally. " S'"PAsneu-
4 eOuld ser you a nice little pitcher, sir,
The seay idea, = interrupted 4 A p,sch-
er OF milk and please take the change ont
o. this F9rte-Enonnaie, for II had ahree pairs
o. hands, couldn't more than hold this
Kicking little demon with 2etn 70
wen, siT, !" said the storekeeper. s'he does
seem rare 'un for usip' has legs. let alone
his lungs. Yes sir, thAnk'ee sir "
NOW, have always laid it M as a grudge
against human nature that THAI IN principled
grocery man took = five dollar bill out 81 INV
porte-mounsie, knowing that / should no.
disc0yer i until too late to rectify the error
wclldnt hare treated Tux soU
/ took up the pitcher Of milk on my right
hand. lin balmcinR ne baby skilfully
aaaiusk III left arm and aide, and started
sr,nfhnhh ht i ' foS hosaa.
ssNaow. Pli s0EEla sour businsss. NV 6ne
vc1lnK fFiHnd "a tlIdhght~ sis e possible
fhat was ever saea an inoorrigible nuis-
ance g 1hie r. 80
Huk ~ tffnmrh vas speedily fedncsd 70
ksl61e16 pitch * hnmiii N1lt1t
speas 1lt NJ. BsFelle5, i u possible thd1'
tl,ls " yol