The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-12-19
VARIETY.

Wendell Phillips once called Rufus Choatc the
man who made il safe to murder, and after whose
health thieves inquired before they went to steal
Why do the eountrymen OF Garibaldi SO gener-
ally take 20 Organ-grindinS in foreign elimes? 1t
n because they are accustomed 10 revolution
ary movements.
Thomas Hood died composing, and that, too, n
humorous poem. lie - said to have remarked
that me was dying out Of charity to the under
tlkcr- who wished to urn tfreiy H0Od.
When you hear a man suy, Life Is but
dream" tread ON his cOrns and wake him up.
Life il real.
Beautiful was the reply Of a venerable man TO
the question whether he was still in the land Of
the Hvings - No but I am almost there
Easy CECUNsrlNCEs.-Whe ROthschild heard
that the head -Of the Agnade family was dead,
How much does he leavc?' he asked. Twenty
Millions You mean eiShty?' No, twenty
Dear me, thought he in easy circumstan-
ces,' remarked the modern CrUcsus.
sLyNENr1BLE IGNORANCE One Of the latc Mr.
Justice NLIulC's iunumcrIblc HlOlS was on this
subject Having asked little girl rendered as a
witness if sire knew where she would 20 after
death II she told lie, and the child replying
No, SIR the judge was overhead To mutter to
himself, No more 10 l.
FATHER AND SoS.-A gentleman was chilling
mis- son for staying out Late at night-or raGLcr
early EeXt m0ruiug-and said. Why. when I
WIS OF your age, my father would not allow me
to 20 Out OF the house after dark 'Thcn you
hnd u Ounce OF father, you had snecred the
young prOhieate. Whcreupou the father very
rashly vOcieratcd, Il had precious deal bctter'n
than you- you young rascal
What strange creatures girls are Offer one
0r them good WAGES To work for you, and ten
chances % one IL che old woman csn spare any Of
her girls, but Just propose mutrimOuy, AMI sec If
they dln't jump at the chance OF working n
whole lifetime Tor their yictuals and clothes.
The patient conquest OF difficulties which rise
IN the regular AMI legitimate channels of business
and enterprise, Is not only essential IN securing
the success which n young man seeks IN LIE, but
essential alsO 60 that preparation Of the mind
requisite for the enjoymeht OF success, and for
tanning it when gained. it j. the general rule,
in all the world and IN all time, that unearned
success is q curse.
IL has been said that men carry on kind Of
eOastins trade with religion. In the voyage Of
LITE, they profess % be in search of Heaven, but
rke care not 70 venture So far IN their approx
nations o. il as % entirely lose sight Of the earth
and should their fFa vessels De- IN danger Of ship
wreck, they will gladly throw their darling vices
overheard, other mariners their treasures, only
o lsh them up ag1iu when the storm - over.
IN a certain puFt Of Scotland, many Of the poor
people who lived on thc and owned by q wealthy
mln, used % come yearly 20 pay their rents.
What DO YOU thiuk this Was2 Why, simply q
pcppcrcoru IL had been the custom for a long
series OF years TOR each o. bring this pepper
coru on q certain day. IL did not cost the poor
anything. dill IL make the landlord any
richer, but be was sI-su Jf tribute which they
Iuid t1 him thcir master. IL j. Just 80 with
those that swear. Every oath i n peppercOrn
which thcy give 70 the devil. Ia does neither
party any good; it just shows who i their master
OF Elliott, the painter, this anecdotc is told
It seems the i1yial artist was painting some
divine. who felt it Incumbent upon him 70 give
the painter moral lecture during Of his sit
gtr.fFT sFF rrrFr-F
very uervou-ly bat as Elliott PAINTED away with
out any sign Of annoyance, he gathered courage
a. he proceeded, AMI finally administered pretty
good sermon lie paused for n reply, and con
tcssed afterward he never felt insignificant in
his life a. when the artist. with the urbane but
positive authority Of his profession. merely said
90 Turn your head y little TO the right, and shut
your mouth"
EEEr Ord i.srrEEs.-Ncycr burn kindly writ
ten letters il - pleasant % read them when
the paper s yeiiJv with age, and tine hanfls that
tneei the friendly words are folded over the
heart that prompted them, beneath the green SOL.
Above all, never burn love letters. To read them
m alter years j. like resurrection ones youth.
The elderly sIu-ter finds iu the mIassiOuci offer
tpohshly rejected twenty years ago, fountain Of
rJuveuc-ccucc. tilnciug over it -hc realizes that
she was once u belle and q beauty. and bchOlds
hcr tormcr self iu mirror much more cOugcuiul
TO her taste than the one that cuurOnts her IN her
dressing rOom. The %. widow iu,Iccdr derives a
sweet and solemn consolation from the letters Of
tne beloved one who has jOurucycd before her 10
he TAR o4 llnd. whence there cIucs NJ message,
0hd where she hopes one day o. Join him. No
photograph can wildly recall 70 the memory Of
f ue mother che tenderness and devotion Of the
ehhiren, who have left ut the call Of Heaven,
eNe epI-tolary Outpourings Of their love The let
Ser OF or daughter % n true mother il
slmetuncs better than image Of the features
y ~ rc,lcx Of the writer's soul. Keep pall loving
ls'Iers- Buu only the harsh and cruel ones, and