Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1868-09-25

not be good for pay; you ought to be
good for nothing
A little boy, who was praised for never
raising his ges to the preacher, answered
with all simplicity, Il wanted to see how
near he was to the end
Short AND SwEEr'-A baby.
A clergyman who has bad habit Of
adding 'ah' to many Of his words, told,
last Sunday, of "those who have been
brought up on the Lords sde-ahr'
We heard OF another who thus address
ed his congregation. My dear brethren,
listen to the words of ar old man-ah, who
has one foot in the grave, and the other
all but ali
A grocer in France not long ago sub
scrbed toward statue to Votaire.
idiot said his wife, what did you do
that fof?' policy, my dear said he,
I've read somewhere that he's very fond
Of coffee, and perhaps he'll trade with
us
A young lady advertised for a dress
ing maid. One applied, and, in response
to the inquiry il she was quick, she re
piled: "Oh, so quick that | will engage
to dress you every day in half an hour"
In half an hour reiterated the young
lady; and what shall do the rest of the
day.
The following is over the door of an
ale house: ''TabIe bear sold hear A
wag said the bear must be the persons
own brain.
A little girl attending party, was
asked BY her mother how she enjoyed
herself Oh said she, i am foil of
happiness. couldn't be any happier
unless could grow
ADVICE TO THOSE ABOUT TO MARRY.
Never marry girl with spare
waist.
A rich old spinster recently deceased at
I Kiel, Prussia, and left the following leg
acies: TO my cat, Emmy, | boqueath
five thousand marks; to my cat, Fides,
four thousand marks; to my poodle, Plu-
to, four thousand, five hundred marks.
The interest Of these sums to be used by
, the persons below mentioned, on condi
ton that they furnish F'ides, Emma, and
Pluto with sufficient wholesome food,
take good care Of them, beware Of killing
them iu violent manner, and pay the
annual dog tax OF Pluto.
An excellent cure for dyspepsia is to
give hungry dog piece Of meat, and
chase him till he drops It.
At q bachelors dinner recently, one
crusty old wit gave toast, matrimony-
the maiden's prayer and the widows
might
\ correspondent asked If the brow Of
Hill ever becomes wrnkIed? The ed
tor replied: THE Only information we
can give on that point is TINT we have
often seen it furrowed.
On ono Of our vessels of war. tho sail
ors sew comet, and were somev hat sur
pri>cd and alarmed at its appearance.
The hands met and appointed a commit
Tee 70 wait on The commander TO ask his
opinion aboutit. They approached him
and said: We want to enquire about
that thing up there Now, before |
answer Won, first let me know what YOU
link il is We'll, your honor we have
talked it over, and think i; is star
sprung leak.
Mary, Is your master at homer No,
Sir. he's out i dent believe IT,
Well. then, he'll come down and tell yon
hisself. Perhaps you viii believe him
A mamma who had succeeded in get
TING her own seven daughters well of
her hands, has determined to open a
class for the instruction Of young Indies
in the art of husband catching. 1t is to
be called the school Of design.
A story is told of an old hunter in
Michigan, who, when the country WINS
new. got lost in the woods several times.
He was told TO buy pocket compass,
which he did, and a friend explained 70
him its use. He soon got lost and lad
rs usual. When found he was asked
whv he did not travel by the compass.
He stated that he did not dare to. lie
wished to 60 north, and he tried hard
to make the thing point north, but
'twant no use; 'twoua diddle, diddle,
diddle right around and point south east
every time?
Good will makes the enioyments and
the faculties of all beings whom it en-
braces a party to its faculties and enjoy
ments. Man is an immense being who
may exist after assfashion, partially, but
whose existence is the more delightful,
the more whole and full it is.
The pain of dispute exceeds by much
its utility. All disputation makes the
mind deaf; and when people are deaf,
they should also be dumb.
Really, my dear said poor Mr..
Jones to his better half 'you have sad.
IL disappointed me. once considered
You a jewel Of a woman; but you have
turned out only DIT Of matrimonial
paste Then, my love- was the reply,
console yourself with the idea that paste
Is very adhesive, and viii stick to you as
as lcng ~ you i've,