The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1868-09-04
What's the Matter With that Nose

Snyder kept a beer saloon som
years ago, "over the Rhine" Sny
der was a pOnderous Teuton OF YER
irascible temper-"sudden and quic
in quarreP'-get mad in q minute
Nevertheless his saloon was grea
resort for the boys-partly becaus
lof the excellence of his beer, ant
|partly because they liked to chat
sold SNYDER" as they called him; TO
although his bark was terrible, ex
perienee had taught them that h
wouldn't bite.
One day Snyder was Was missing
and it was explained by his "frau,
who 'jerked" the beer that day, thai
me had "gone out fishing NIT tel
poys." The next day one OF the boys
who was particularly fond of "roast
ing" Snyder, dropped in to get glas:
of beer, and discovered Snyder's
nose, which was big one at any
time, swollen and blistered by the
sun, until it looked like a dead ripe
tomato.
"Why, Snyder what's the matte,
with your nose ?" said the caller.
81 peen out fishing NIT der poys,''
replied Snyder, laying his finger
tenderly against his proboscis, 1.-THE
sun it pese hot like ash der tifel, unit
l purns my nose. Nice nose, don't
it 2" And Snyder viewed it with O
look Of comioal sadness, In the little
mirror back of his bar. 1t entered
at..once iuto the bead of the mischiev.
GUS fellow in front of the bar to play
a joke upon Snyder, so he went out
and collected half dozen of his com.
rades, with whom he arranged thai
that they should drop in at the saloon
one after another and ask Snyder
"What's the matter with that nose 2''
to see how long he would stand it.
The man who put up the job went in
first with companion, and seating
themselves at table called for beer.
Snyder brought it to them, and the
newcomer exclaimed, as he saw him:
"Snyder, what's the matter with your
nose ?'
81 yust dell your freint here / peen
out fishin' NIT der poys, unit the sun
he purnt 'em-zwi lager-den cents
all right
Another boy rushes in, "Hallo,
boys, you're ahead of me this time,
'spose Pm In, though. Here, Snyder,
bring me glass of lager and a pref
|-(appears 20 catch sudden glimpse
of Snyder's nose, looks wonderingly
q moment, and then bursts out laugh
ing g)-ha-ha hal Why, Snyder
-ha i-ha a,-hal-what's the matter
with that nose p
Snyder, of course, can't see any
fun In having burnt nose, or having
it laughed at, and he says, in tone
sternly emphatic:
'sTve peen cut fishing nit der poys,
unit de sun it yust ash hot like ash
der tifel, unit purnt my nose; that
ish all right"
Another tormenter comes in and
insists on "settlng 'em up" for the
whole house. "Snyder, says he,
''Hll up the boys glasses, and take a
drink yourse--ho! ho! no (! ha J
ha! ha! Snyder, wha-ha he ats
the matter with that nosef"
Snyder's brow darkens with wrath
by this time, and his voice grows
deeper and sterner-
81 peen out fishin' NIT der poys on
der leedle Miami. The sun pese hot
like as hail, unit / purnt my puele.-
Now, that is more vot don't got to
say. Vot gind Of peseness That
ish all right; purn my own nose,
don't it p
"Burn your nose,-burn all the
hair off your head, for what l care;
you needn't get mad about it."
1t was evident that Snyder
wouldn't stand more than one more
tweak at the nose, for he was tramp
ing about behind his bar and growl-
ing like an exasperated old bear in
his cage. Another of his tormentors
walks in. Some one sings out to
him. "Hsvs glass of beer, Billy?'
"DOn't care about any ber," says
Bill, "but Snyder, you may give me
one of your best ciga-Ha-a ha ha
ha ho! ho ho he he ah-h-h-ha
Why-why Snyder who-wha-
ha-a-a-ha! (! ha! aclarsthe matter with
that saose?''
Snyder was absolutely fearful to
behold by this time. His face was
purple with rage, all except his nose
which glowed like a ball of fire
Leaning his ponderous figure far over
the bar, and raising his arm aloft to
emphasize his words, he fairly roared:
"I've peen out fishin' NIT der poys.
The sun it pese hot like as hail-tem-
nation. I purnt my nose. Now you
no like dose nose, you yost take dose
nose unit wr-wr-wring your tam Amer.
|ican fingers NIT en-! That's the
kind of man vot l am!''