Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-06-18

The "Old Cap" as he is familiarity call
cd hereabout, weighs about two hundred
and sixty pounds avoirdupois, is huge
embodiment of fun, and Tie drycst of
jokers. No opportunity escapes him fer
getting good sell upon any ofhis friends,
while it is but seldom that the stables arc
turned upon him. By-the-way, he is
Assistant Quarter Master at this post, and
a thorough going officer. Frank, his most
intimate friend. is also something Of a jes-
ter, and succeeded, not long since, in per
petrating sell upon him. The Captain
took it all in good part, merely iniimating
that he ''owed the gentleman one" which
he would endeaver TO cancel at sight. An
opportunity soon offered. 4 dinner was
being given by the officers of the post to
,me thirty strangers (ofiicers of an expe-
dition which was passing at the time).
Old Cap" and Frank we're both on hand,
II their liveliest moods; and the latter,
thinking it n good opportunity for perpe-
trating joke No. upon the fcrmer, called
upon him for speech, and was accemmo-
dated in the following style:
"MY FRIENDS AND FELLOW -0FFIcERs,-
4 feel that it is good to be here My
heart leaps with joy at being permitted TO
share in the festivities Of this happy occas-
ion. 1t tends, as it were, TO lift one for the
mement above the cars of busines, and
infuses into the mind something that is
elevating and ennoblin~: And my fricnls,
as you now behold, me, all g'e'. hilarity,
and eloquence, you will scarcely credit my
words when tell you that it is not always
thus with me. 'AITs not gold that gilt
ters. Perhaps it's well. Without first
tasting the bitter We could not fully ap
precatc that which is sweet; and without
being born naked how, ask, should we
ever have found out the necessity for
clothes? All, gentlemen, my fertitude and
forbearance are often sorcly tried, as, with
your kind Indulgence, will endeavor to
illustrate in very few words [Crics of
SO ahead.1 Well, then, TO begin: | am
running saw-mill at this pos. for Uncle
Sam, which is propelled by a endorse
power, but at times have so much other
work for the horses to- do that / run il
with less number. Last week | was
required TO forward concise statement Of
! the amount and kinds of transportation on
hand to The headquarters of the depart
ment, and being in doubt as TO the exact
number Of horses employed in the mill at
directions To report the facts to me as soon
as possible. At my desk | sat and sat,
like Patience on monument with pen
in hand, awaiting his speedy return. Two
long hours elapsed, and no Frank! If
eyer did feel like swearing, that was the
time; and il makes the blood boil in my
veins at this very moment as l think of il.
Finally my patience, for which / am pro
verbal, went back on me, and seizing my
hat l rushed out 10 the mill in erder TO
learn the cause of delay. On arriving
there found Frank looking into the in
closure where the horses were going round
on the machine, and seZing him by the
collar (for | was mad, though.) / deman-
ded TO know what he stood there all this
while for gaping at the horses, when he
knew | was waiting TO learn how many
there were. AT this apparently rough
treatment Frank Immediately about faced,
and. with look Of the most ineffable
scorn and Indignation depicted upon his
usually smiling countcnance exclaimed, in
tones of thunder, why, l have already
counted five hundred and sixty three, and
am waiting for the rest TO pass by. The
Lord only knows how many more there
| a-e,'"