davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

THAT TARNAL STUFF. To hear Cough
tell the "drugger'' story is worth quarter
at any time The story is capital one, but
it takes the man to tell it. This he does in
some such words as these:
A long, lean, gaunt Yankee entered a
drug store and asked:
''Be you the drugger ?"
"Well, [ s'pose so sell drugs"
"Waal, hev you got any Nv this here
scentin' stuff as the gals put up on their
handkechers %
go yes.'
"Waal, our SAILS gwine to be married,
and she gin me ninepence and told me to in
vest the hull amount in scentin' stuff, SOS to
make her sweet, if [ could find some to suit;
SO if you've mind I'll just smell round. y
The Yankee smelled round without being
suited until the druggist got tired Of him,
and taking down a bottle Of hartshorn,
said:
GIVE got scentin' stuff that will suit
you. A single drop on your handkerchief
will stay for weeks, and you can't wash il
out; but to get the strength Of it you must
take big SMELL
"Is that so, mister? WAL, just hold OF
minute, till I get my breath, and when
say meow, you put it under my smelers."
| The hartshorn, of course, knocked the
Yankee down, as liquor has done many g
man. Do you suppose he got up and smell
again, as the drunkard does +? Not he; but
rolling up his sleeves and doubling up hi'
fists, he said:
"You made me smell that tarpal, ever
lastin' stuff, mister, and now I'll make yor
smell fire and birthstone"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

sL1vrRs or W1sDoM. EARLY Impressions
are the most lasting. The fust kiss, and the
fust licking, cum under this he'd.
Things that are writ for bread, are apt
tew taste ov the emptings.
Reputashun IL a good deal like bonfire
-yu hav got tew keep pileing on the shay
ings; if you don't, the flame will soon sub
dew.
Good Wit il sumthing like good luck
the more soon and unexpected it IL, the bet
ter.
They tell ov Teller out wess who kant
wear emmy stockings-hiz feet are 50 big he
haE tew wear sock-dollagers.
Them who makes the most blow, have the
least fragrance it IL jess 50 with the boiler
hauk
The best edukashun man receives in this
life, he gifts just before he die, and it most
ly consists in forgetting what he haz larnt be-
fore.
The world looks with kold respeck upor
an ackt ov justiss, but heave up their hats
at a display ov mersy. Yet the one IL the
strength ov virtue, while the other IL mos
often its greatest weakness.
A mind that haz more imaginashun thar
sense il like a goose-fust rate tew FL down
hill.
I don't think the world haz emmy civiliza
shun tew spare, but think she haz more
than she kan manage we'll. :,
Poetri, tew be excellent, wants tew be llk'
natur. but about times az big.
hav waited pashuntly for more than TWEEN
ty-6ye years for the millennium to commens
and fist look at butter, fifty cents pound
Josh Billings.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

A German in New Albany has what he
calls a dumping clock, " in his window
Reared upon its top is fat and jolly looking
Tcuton, who holds a fork in his hand. By
an ingenious continuance the fork, at the
end of each minute, dips into dish of dump
Inns, and entering one of them carries it to
the mouth of the Teuton. who swallows it
with a choking gurgle and wild motion Of
his glass eyes -INadjssn (Znd, Courier.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

WV. H. BRIGGS GENERAL
MISSION HER CT N T..
No. 1896 Broad st., neat door to Va. Central
Rail Road Depot,
RICHMOND, "a.
Will give his undivided personal attention to
the sale of all kinds Of Country Produce and
to flling orders for Merchandize generally and
hopes by PUNCTUALITY and STRICT atten-
ton to business. to merit q continuance OF the
patronage so literally bestowed heretofore
No charge for Storage or Insurance.
RESPECTFULLY REFERS TO
Messrs. Baker Bros, Mcclure 4 Bumgardner,
A. NJ Pierce & Co. and Powell Blackley,
Stanton, Va.
Messrs. A. Blauth, W F. Smith and B. F.
McClung & Bros, Greenville.
Messrs. OFT, Spencer & Co. and Gibbs Il Lo-
gan, Midway.
Messrs P. Schumacher & Co., H. G. Guthrie
and VIM Guthrie, Fishersville.
T. H. Antfm, Waynesboro.
mays 6S-a
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

Quinn, being asked by lady why there
were more women in the world than men,
replied: cit is in conformity with the other
arran cement Of nature, madam-we always
see more of heaven than earth.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

SuccorAsu.-This dish is popular wher-
ever it has been introduced. To make it of
the best quality, sweet corn should be used.
To dozen green ears, cut or scraped, add
a quart of shelled Lima beans; boil an hour;
season with sweet cream Or butter, salt,
pepper, a little nutmeg, and tablespoonful
of refined sugar. If the Lima beans are
not to be had, morrowfats Or white kidneys
are tolerable substitute. Lima beans can
be dried green for this dish, and they are
much better than those full ripened. Ifsuc-
cotash is made of dry materials in Winter,
more cream and sugar should be added.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

Unusual attention is now given to the
grape culture in Southern Virginia Two
cultivators in Roanoke county expect to net
from $4,000 to $4,000 from vineyard
covering sixteen acres
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

Work FOR THE MoNTH -AspARAGus-
The stems should be removed, and an ade-
quate quantity Of seed collected for the year
ly sowing. - ~.
Carrots, as soon as their growth is COM
pleted, should be taken up and stored away
for use.
CELERY Continue to earth up growing
crops Towards the end of the month the
principal part may be taken up in trenches
about two thirds deep as the plants are long,
packing closely, and leaving the exposed
until severe weather.
CoRN-Save seed from the best kinds and
store away from the ravages of rats and
mice. ...,
Onions. Continue to look over those
that are stored for Winter use, aud remove
any that are beginning to decay.
PorAroEs and store before frost sets in.
Those which have been taken up and stored
should be looked over and sorted one rot
ten potato will very soon infect half dozen.
Turnips should be taken up and stored for
Winter use, upon the approach of severe
frost.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

SCRATCHES AND SORE BACK IN HORSES -
J. J. Hite, of Arlington Depot Nelson,
gives the following simple remedy, in the
last Farmers Gazette" for the above d.
seases
Reduce salt to powder, mix as much of
it in lard as it will take up. and not become
hard or dry. Apply it freely every other
day-every third, fifth, eight day and so on,
frightening the time. Don't apply it too
often after the first week, or you will retard
the healing. AS the sore seems to improve
apply, it less and less aften. For scratches
use it more freely and oftener. No wash
ing Or scrubbing will be necessary, unless
there be mud OF manure on the parts affected.
He says: II used it, during the late war,
with great success and satisfaction, on some
of the worst backs ever seen by man. When
cured up, said backs were frmer and APP
parcntly sounder, and much less liable to be-
come sore, than before the injury, by the
| saddle" s5 .s-,-4ss' 9 -'.t.sr a.-.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
FARM AND FIRESIDE.

CURE FOR CONSUMPTION "A well known
physician says; Eat what the appetite re-
quires of the most nourishing food, such as
fresh beef, lamb, oysters, raw eggs, fruit,
vegetables, and three times a day take a
glass Of eggnog, made as rich as the patient
tcan bear Avoid all alcoholic drinks. Battle
vice week in water made agreeably warm,
and in warm room. After bathing rub
the body and limbs with sweet oil. Exer-
else daily in the open air; walking is the
best. Stand erect, exercise the arms and
lungs freely, keep the mind cheerful, take
freely of the best cough medicine, and con-
sumption will be a stranger to your house
hold. '''
a+''For making the best cough syrup, take
one ounce of thoroughwort, one ounce of
faxseed, simmer together in one quart of
water until the strength is entirely extract
ed. Strain carefully add one pint of best
molasses and half pound of loaf sugar !;
simmer them well together, and when cold
bottle tight. 1t is the cheapest, best, and
the safast medicine for coughs now OF ever
used. A few doses of one tablespoonful at
time will alleviate the most distressing
cough of the lungs, soothes and allays irrita
ton, and if continued subdues any tendency
to consumption; breaks up entirely the
whooping cough, asthma, bronchitis, and
all affections of tho lungs and throat Thou
sands of precious lives may be saved every
year by this cheap and simple remedy, as
we'll as thousands Of dollars which would
otherwise be spent in the purchase of nos
trums, which are both useless and danger
GUS. ,"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

Adam had great advantage, in one re
spect, over every other husband known to
earth his wife couldn't threaten to 60 and
i've with her mother
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

EARLY FATTENING OF Hoes. Farmers
who have not already commenced to prepare
their hogs for market, should lose no time in
doing So One week of this favorable wealth
er is worth two weeks in December. Many
farmers who use nothing but corn to fatten,
begin to feed it as soon as it is in tassel.
Though it has not the substance ofrlpe corn,
still swine thrive well on it, eating not only
the soft ear and husks, but also the leaves
and quite portion of the stalks. Begin
now to fatten, and as soon as fat kill, and
get the advantage of an early market, for
| those who reach it first do the best. 4
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
POETRY.
NEW STAR-SPANGLED BANNER.
TO SUIT THE TIMES.

WRITTEN AND DEDICATED TO THE i'NEw NATIoN,n
BY R. R. NUeENT GRAFTON, ILL.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
CHE gtal1ntolt Uinoitato.
RATES
FOR LESS THAN THREE MONTHS

FOR LESS THAN THREE MONTHS.
u Advertisements will be inserted at the rate of
One Dollar per square of Eight Lines, or less
for the first and so cents for each subsequent in
sertion. Unless the number of insertions be
marked upon the manuscript it will be published
until forbid and charged accordingly. ss5
Obituaries, Announcements of Candidates for
Office, Communications calling uron, advoca-
ting or opposing candidates, and all Communi-
cations or Notices Of personal or private char
acter, or intended or calculated to promote for
private enterprise or interest," will be chargd any
as ADVERTISEMENTS IA e &C.
cry insertion. fTr[ z -3E 4f{fE
/ Ng~ A liberal arrangement made with those
who advertise for Three, Six Or Twelve months.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

STRANGE Observation-Disclosures AFTER
TIM LocUsrs, A citizen Of Robertson co IN
ty Tennessee, reports strange and unnat-
raj movement among the small game in that
vicinity. For some days past the plantation
has been literally overlun with myriads Of
rabbits in groups and gangs, coming from
the north and leisurely passing to the South
West During the day they travel but lit
tie, generally lying close, nibbling the her
bage in the shade until disturbed when they
break cover like swarms Of flies. At night
however, the earth is literally covered with
them, marching, countermarching dancing
and romping in the starlight, their move
mcnts seemingly directed by certain gray
wh.kered patriarchs. The gentleman has
been compelled, in self defence, to inaugu-
rate, with dogs, clubs and firearms, war
of determination, but although he has killed
hundreds, there seems to be no diminution
in the number Of these little ''cotton- tailed
erratics He thinks they are feasting upon
the locusts, as they are following the gene
raj direction of this seventeen year pest.
A CHINESE love SoNG-Chin Sun, Of
Mr.. Burlingamc's embassy, is the probable
author of this little song, which we trans
pose into Roman characters The sense
may perhaps be evident on close inspection
/ 10 yeag irlwi thaIm onde yes .
! Ands almo ncolo rednose
Sheh asaq ofre alsto rehair-
He rclu bfe etha We not oes
ee-z+z Onbirdsne stso upan dpup pyd ogs
Shefatte pandg rows
/ Sofa slit ia keste nnil liners
| Towi demo uthe rcot hes.
Il Ito veto 81 tdow nby hers ide
| Anddr ink you nghys ont ea
/ An dpu tmya rmar oundt hepl ace
Il Whe rehe rival stou ghtto be.
Thew aysh esmi lesal Low eris
Il A eau tionfo rios
ShelJn eve rbem ybet terri alf
Fors he'd ma ket emo fine.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
REAL ESTATE AGENTS,

NTON, VIRG I'M A
We are now selling, and have constant de
mand for farm1ing Grazing Timer ana Manera
vite parties having such property for sale, es
pecially in the county Of Augusta, and the Val
ley of Virginia, to put the same in our hands
believing that we possess superior advantages
from our central location, and thorough knowl-
edge of the country, and our extensive business
relations, for securing purchasers
We make no charge for advertising or show
ing property, but when we find purchaser for
it we charge commission of five per cent, to be
paid out of the first payment made by the pur-
chaser.
Nov 20, 1861.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

The Ohio Farmer asserts that nine -tenths
Of the foot and ankle ailments OF the morse
are traceablc to standing on dry plank noors'
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
A NJ. HENKEL, NJ. D.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
s. TEL. HENKEL. ID. I'd. g..
DENTIST,


Formerly of New Market Va.)
Respectfully announce that they have located
in staunton Va, and offer their services to the
public in all the branches Of their professions.
Calls promptly attended to at all hours, unless
professionally engaged.
Office on corner of Augusta and Main Streets.
Entrance doors north of Bickle's corner.
Aug7-6m*
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

A farmer in Derbyshire, England, recent
ly took prize at fair on three cabbages
that averaged 72a pounds.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
Professional Cards.

his old stand
Artificial Teeth mounted on Gold, Silver and
Vulcanite.
All operationsperformed in the most Scientific
and sklful manner with strict regard to Perma-
nancy and warranted to compete withany work
done in the cities.
Thanking the people of Augusta and the sur
rounding Counties for their very liberalpatron-
age prior to, during and since the war, ] re-
pectfully solicitits continuation.
June 1T
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

T. F. MINOR & GO.
WILL CONTINUE THE
go NNISS SION B u s I " b So
Atthe Old Stand of Minor & Wilkinson,
1910 Main Street,
And solicit Consignments of Country Produce
and Merchandise Of all descriptions. Faithful
attention and prompt returns will be our motto
Liberal Cash Advances made on all Conslgn-
ments in huad, when desired
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
1910 Main Street, Richmond, Va.
P. S.-To Farmers and Merchants who are
holding CORN, RYE and OATS, by sending
Railroad receipts can draw at sight for any
amount they consign. April 26-lS07-
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

~ TO Beautiful and cheapOficeStov es
- 4 o, the Hathaway and Planter Cookin G
Stoves manufactured at the Augusta Foundry
by ROBERTS, NELSON u Co
neY23--3mo
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

4 LARGE STOCK OF
~ SPRING GooDs,
AT LOW PRICES.
l have now received my stock for the Spring
trade and would ask buyers to call and look
thro' before making their purchases. My assort-
ment in every department is more complete than
usual and am prepared to offer inducements to
CASH BUYERS
I have full line of
Dress Goods, Dress Trimmings Fringes and
Buttons, Ginghams, Black and Col
ored Silks, Curtain Damask,
Cassmeres and other goods for Boys.
Carpets,
Croekery and Glassware,
Groceries,
Shoes, Hats, &C., &c.
will not enumerate prices butwill be pleased
to show my goods to any one, and will try by
fair representations to convince them that my as
sortment and prices will compare favorably with
any other store in the Valley.
NJ j. ACKERMAN.
4
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

To POLISH ENAMELhED LEATHER. Two
pints of the best cream, one pint of linseed
oil; make them each lukewarm, and then
mix them well together. Having previous
ly cleaned the shoe, etc.. from dirt, rub it
over with sponge dipped in the mixture );
then rub it with a soft dry cloth until a brill
liant polish is produced. ...
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

DURKE'S IRON WORKS,
ID STANTON VA. ~
VIM A. BURKE, Proprietor,
NOTICE-Persons having Threshing Machines
Reapers, Mowers, Drills, &C., needing repairs,
can have them done in the very best style and
workmanship, at Burkes Iron Works at short
notice. keep constantly on hand repairs for all
the leading machines in the country at manufac-
turer's prices. I have a supply Of sections for
the following machines:
Buckeye Reaper and Mower,
Mccormick g &c I"
Wood g 81 &C
Union g %
also all the repairs for
Pitts and Sweepstakes Threshing Machines,
Bickford and Huffmans Grain and Guano Drill
TERMS CASH. VIM. A. BURKE.
rs am still putting up the best LIVINGS-
TON PLOWS made in the State.
VIM A. BURKE.
june1s-tf
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

A NEW E.-The attention Of the
IA farmers of this county is requested to a
new style Of BOARD FENCE, aspecimen ofwhich
is to b. seen in the Courthouse yard.
1t is erected without posts, costs less toprepare
than the ordinary board fence, can be put up and
taken down with great rapidity is firm and du-
rabls, can be prepared during the winters and pre-
sents many points ofadvantage for the consider
| alton Of the farmer. ~
Farm rights will be disposed ofupon reasonable
terms, either by GEO. b PRICE or the undersign-
ed. DAVID BUCHER.
March 27-tf
T AMES PAGAN,
eE BooT AND SHOE MANUFACTURER,
MAIN STREET STANTON.
Keeps constantly on hand large stock of su-
perior Leather and Shoe Findings, purchased in
large quantities and at the lowest figures and is
therefore prepared to make up in the neatest
style and at low prices, for cash, LADIES BAIMo-
RAILS and POLISH Doors, of best FRENCH KID and
BooT Morocco, MEMS WATERPROOF Doors, SHOES,
| CATERS, &c.
He guarantees to give satisfaction both as to
price and finish. Mems fine calf bootsat $40 90
Jan. 10, '6s-tf.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

MATURING -Nurserymen who raise the
best trees pass between the nursery rows
with pillow and turn shallow furrow, in
which a well decomposed compost is distri-
buted and the earth thrown back. In this
way the land is kept in excellent condition.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16

COTTAGE CHEESE PuDDING.--O pint of
cottage cheese, two eggs, juice and peel OF
one lemon; sweeten and spice to taste Inns
quantity makes two plates. Rich paste.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-10-16
Business Cards.

JOHN EoHoLs, H. M. BILL
RucATLETr JED HoTCHKIss.
NICHOLS, BELL, CATLETT co.
The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-09-05
CHICAGO, SEPTEMBER s, 1865.

hrs: Montgomery was there snd Helen Eyre
BY her side. All the youth, beauty and
grace Of the south of Scotland we're present
together, and although Helen Eyre was GER
tainly one Of the loveIisst Of the lovely, 1t
could not be said that she attracted univer
sal attention. There were many circles
formed round many attractive centres none
snone exactly Eks the moon among the lesser
stars-but Of these stars themselves some
were brighter than others, or difused a mel
lover lustfe. Helen Eyre knew her own ST.
tuation-neither proud nor ashamed her
dress was simpler than that Of many others,
but such as II became q lady to wear on such
an occasion--s few pearls were round her
soft auburn hair-and no eye looked upon
her once, sitting half retired in her modest
Ioveiiness, without looking again and again
no heart, perhaps, but felt, after ranging
over all the splendid galaxy, that there was
one who bad only to come forward aud seek,
IN order TO gain the prize Of grace elegance
and beauty. The music--the dsacsng--the
stir-ths waving Of plumes-ths sparkling
of geEs-smiiiag counsenances, and happy
voices-all touched the orphan to the very
heart-that hsart k,Rdtsd with the Joy Of
youth, and scarcely ever had Helen Eyre
felt so happy and 20 imbued with tie bliss
Of life. AL thoughts were bauished buG
those Of exhilirx.iOa aud gladnsss -she sur
rendered up her spirit to the gaisty, the
mlrth, and the glee that were sparkling. and
whispering, and moving all around her--and
she felt that bsll was, iadeed one Of the
most delightful things in the world.
70 BK ooErrEUED.
The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-09-05
WIT AND wIHDOM.

LITrLE SUSIE B was sent By her mo.
ther 70 UncIe Charlie's" chamber To sse
If be was ready for brea Sfast. UDDl y ,an-
ing the door, she beheld him standing %.
fore the glass brushing his teeth. Sac 1T
the door quickly. AMI ran iosn stars, 4lv-
ing" Yes, mamma, he a NOS really, 44's
sharpening his teeth "
The "BY-LAws"-Jones was, or believed
he was near ms ieath, an the doctor calilg,
he bed long and earnest Conversation about
the chances Of hs tfs. " Why, nan,n All
the physician, yol are likely 20 die my
hour. You have hsen living for tue lasi ar
teen years withouta constitution, lnngs g)ls,
liver diseased, and all that sort Of t5ingN
/" You DOME mean TO say" rephsd Jlnes,
quesuOuingiy, I" taat man can live atseen
years witaoGl constitution ?"
YES, DO" retortsd the dlct0f, I" AMI
you are a. example,
"Then, doctor,r and bright smile il-
Illuminated the face of the do0nel mao, Pil
90 il ten years ore on the bylaws" and ne
did
OSE 81 the most original Of juvenile III.
ventions was that OF little Fanny, wa in-
stead Of saying her prayers at ght, spread
out her alph. .bet on the bed, aad raisin her
eyes 10 heaven, said: I" On Lord he.a ars
the letters Fix them to suit yoarseiE"
THs OraER QUADRUPED.-As fo was
riding a very foe horse in the park, uag
ani pretty lady was very evidenfly adr.iriag
the animal, when ne stoppe 1, AMI inpU lsns1
asked: Are you atmiring M, issT
No." was the really repiy, . 4m adm r
lng tbs horse, not .hs donkey"