The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1868-02-21

4lt tsslilt bdth Win II HTuIl mere IL Is,
and then left me to my depraved taste
1t was not till the last day of my inn
! prisOnment that found out the molas-
ses, and then | got them all at once
having been unfortunate enough to be
the last served, and to come in for a
treacly compound in which my spoon
stuck upright and firm. The only adj
vantage derived from being last served
was TINT l came in for less share than
usual, the warder having miscalculated
quantities that morning.
= / can give you some more ifyou want
It presently" my officer said ON this oc-
casion, new officer to a new cell in a
higher story of the prison, and an officer
with shade or two more ciyility in his
manner.
Thank you; this is more than
enough
say" he said in confidential
whisper, It's good, isn't it,"
Not dieting an immediate response,
~ - what do you think ofit?0
Wen, | don't think much Of it," |
replied, thus frankly asked for my
opinion, and it was evident that my
warder piticd my moral condition and
perverted ideas OF " hat was good from
chat time forth
| should not have thought a great deal
Of any viands that could have been pro-
cured me during my confinement there.
Every day | found that my appetite be-
came worse-grew less, possibly, ~ my
anxiety concerning my future became
greater. | could have had food of diff
terent description sent in to me, | was
told when it was not worth while To take
advantage Of the privilege-indeed,
had been told the reverse Of this at an
earlier period. The result would not
have been satisfactory in any way.
knew that ! was giving way by degrees,
and thai fortnight or three weeks in
generation would have removed me 10
Che iniirmary ! could not eat by day,
and there was but little sleep for me at
night. There was no settling down,
TO the conviction, born Of prison air
breathed, that | should never get free
from the SANDER against my name, and
that there was no evidences forthcoming
that would save me.
In the cell | tossed rcstlessly in my
hammock, dwelling upon every detail
Of my arrest, trying 10 account in my
own mind for the presence Of stolen
goods in my cupboard, connecting them
late at night in my own room at home
with the visits of the Messengers 10 their
sister, with box and bundle that /
had once helped Mrs. Wiltshire up
stairs with from cab outside my house.
with fifty other reasons probable and
improbable, till ] went OF into a fever
ish sleep. that was broken in due course
by The night officer looking in upon me
am operation that. however cautiously
performed, invariably woke me mp with
my heart beating wildly.
When | succeeded in sleeping, it was
always 10 dream of the second cXamin-
alton for the following Friday, and
may mention here, as curious fact for
PSYCHOLOGISTS. that if | was remanded
again, and bail refused one night, | was
sure todream on the next of establishing
my innocence to the satisfaction of the
court | dreampt alternately of failure
and success; and the court, with its
grave alderman on the bench, the crowd
To my right and left. the lawyers and
witnesses before me- the row Of fellow
tulDrits in the dock with me, and the
GREAT st.teine clock ifnmcdiatcly above
the alderman head, were All parts of
scene that never left my mind sleeping
or waking, but haunted me incessant-
ly.
Somuch 80, that became finally re
duced to this remarkable idea-that
would prefer remaining where | was to
being exposed to all the excitement and
agony ofsuspenSe that would result from
the second examination. Probably /
was more nervously susceptible than
there was any occasion for; but ] came
IF nervous stock, and prison life, diet
and treatment did not tend 10 keep me
strong.
I tried To read after breakfast and be-
fore chapel, but the effort was unayail-
ing, and the book with which | had
been turnishcd-rhe life Of JOsephus-
was not 10 my taste. | took up my
prayer-book and hynn-book, but the
number OF my cell marked on each Of
them always reminded nae where | was,
set nae to wondering what my friends
were thinking Of mellow many out
of them who Lad read the report in the
newspapers believed meguilty; and who
gave me credit for being a. innocent ~
knew myself 10 be. Such thoughts as
these came between me and all thoughts
of prayer in the chapel, and | could al
most imagine that behind the green-cur-
tanned calleries-where women prison.
ers, / think, must have been placed
the detectives were still watching me.
| knew that the officers Of the prison
were for | was called to order once for
not keeping my prayer-book properly in
front Of me, so that the number of my
book should be always significant evil
dence against any misconduct or mat
tentiOn during service.
The chaplain of the prison never Wis
tied me in my cell, although | should
have been glad of his assuring voice,
and might have been sustained by his
sympathy-perhaps by his belief in nay
innocence; but the visits Of the govern
or for an instant every morning were
pleasant and memorable There was a
genial kind of briskness in his demean-
or that was an agreeable change after
the sullen visages of the warders, and |
fancied-I may be wrong in my suppo-
sition-that he regarded me with fugi-
tive kind of interest, and as one some
what different in my general deport-
ment from the majority of gao-birds
with whom he was paid to live.
"Have you any complaint to make?
do You want anything ' were two ques
tions every morning to me, to which |
always responded in the negative. |
could have urged a few complaint
could have expressed wish or two that
might have startled or interested him
but ] had fallen into an apathetic con-
ditiOn, and did not care to trouble him
with the petty miseries of my ignOmin-
iOus position. That the wardens were
out of humor, or that they exceeded
their duty, and were unnecessarily
rough and unfeeling, was not worth di
lating upon, and though | can afford
now to laugh ut my fears, | had at that
time a dread of making enemies in any
direction.
l may add that as ! changed my cell
several times during my stay in New
gate, for the convenience of new corners,
who are put on the basement floor of
this particular wing, and rs | worked
upwards, story by story, till | was near
ly at the top of the building, so | met
with ward officers of more experience,
OF with more knowledge of human ma
ture, or, at least, with more cOnsidera-
ton for me.
Let me allude here, however, to one
officer who went little out of his way
to offer me an insult. 1t is as well to
speak the whole truth, and in dealing
with this painful subject, / may put
governors and officials on their guard,
and 50 do little good for some poor I'M
fortunate who may hereafter follow in
my steps, and be as sensitive a man.
My wife had called TO see me-to tell
me of the efforts that were being made
- IL l.s.1f 4 % ~