The Idaho world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1864-1918, 1868-12-17
THE Josh BILLINGS PAPERS.

Vered with gOlu-pldGeu Halhiss anu
upon by spruce postllhon and hVereyeo
cOachman?
nonnositv hobble in brocade, command reve-
renee. exuIt with pride and grin with pain, and
bav sed few myself "poor old hoss."
Odd YOU ever hear phoOls, and even WISE
men. saw that life waz short, that death waz
certain, that happiness waz skase?
Al have herd thez remarks quite often,
but never herd bizzy man find any fault
with the length Of life, nor pure one regret
that deth was sure thing, nor Vlrtuous one
komplain about the HE price OF happiness. -,
Odd you ever hear an old mad prattle
about the falsty of women, the CRATE FISK tllare
waz in having one, the bliss thare WaZ III Delhs
boss ov ones self!
At seems tew me that hav, and haV
alwus felt as tho the old virgin Waz taking
medicine all the time she waz saying IT,
Oh thare emmy vacancy ut present Tor u
man in nolite strikes, who didn't have rich
doddv or who hadn't bored successfully for
| lie himself!
Aft we hear of emmy sutch opening we
will TELEGRAPH yu at once, but jist now the way
thinos are run, a man with seedy garments on
would even cit kicked out ov fust klass meet
ing house, and be put under 10 thousand dol
lars bonds few keep the peace. Our advice
tew the Door but virtewOOs individual would
be to take his vertew under his arm, keep sla-
DIV, and let the polite sirkle shew each other
O.-Kan a young man without any mushtash
git situation in NJ York Sitty!
Ayes, but it would probably be IN the sta
tion-house Yung men without emmy mushtasn
are looked upon with suspicion, and yu VIII
lind. if yu put them under oath, that they
either haint got ennything but common sense
or they are too stiugy to buy bottle OF DO,
wards oil of seduktion,' warranted teW ietch
hair or tare oph the lip.
O.-Kan WI tell me the best way that haz
been invented to bring up boy
A-Give me 10 dollars and Will tell yu.
But here is recepee that give away. BRING
ND YOUR boy in fear of the rod and GIN null,
| Q.-Is there emmy kure tor natural lazlhess'
where 1t is the part OF Il mans constitution
and bye-laws'
A.-Only one kure, that IL, milk cow on
the run and subsist on tie milk
Blow fast does sound travel
A.-This depends good deal upon the natnr
of the noise You are talking about he souhu
of q dinner-hOrn for instance, travels nan
mile second, while an lnvltashun IL" GIT up
| in the morning hav known to be quarters
ov an hour going up two PAIR oV stars ana
then not hay strength enutf few be heard.
O.--Dew WI believe the world VIII flnaIiy
cum tcW an end
A.-Of course | do, w phool Annlhllatlon
IL the only shure thing on earth.
| Q.-What IL yure prlvat oplnyun ov human
happiness as 4 fertilizer
Al hav got Il dreadful mean private opln-
yum oy human happiness, but all that kan say
! for it il that it resembles a new penny hove III
among a parcel ov ragged young ones; a"l oV
them are Immediately crazy for the cent, but
only one ov them gifts It.
| O.-What kind ov books would you advise a
Young man like ne trw read, who am very
anxious tew be full oy wisdom
| A-Dout read bat one good book at time
and az soon az You cit thru with that keep
reading it over again. He who reads every
thing IL like he who drinks everything, he gltS
az full az a solder fountain, with just about az
much whizz in him. 1t IL better tcw be a
good deal like nobody.
of yu had a iust rate daughter, would
WI teach her musirk
A.-No. But if She had musick mutch |
would hoe it and DIG around IT, talent Tor
musk IL not one trw banker for unless 1t IL a
phatt one | would rather young lady gal
ov mine would have 4 genius for pitching cents
at rolling hub than tcw be a third rate mu-
skier.
Q.-IIow long kan 4 goose stan on one legg
| Airy il and see, that's the way the goose
found out.