The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1868-11-12
THURSDAY. NOVEMBER IL, 1868.
PROGRESS OF ENTRAyAGANCE;
OR,
WHAT FAIR OF AND1RONS COST.

andirons, Peter, those cost me one thou-
sand dollars"
"Dcar me /" exclaimed my aunt.
"Oh, father !" cried the girls.
Impossible" said |.
"True, every word true. One thousand,
did say ?-yes, two thousand, full two
thousand dollars!"
Well, WE'LL" said my aunt, folding up
her knitting for the night, " should like
to know what you are talking about"
Ny uncle bent forward, and planting his
hands firmly on his parted knees, and with
n deliberate air which showed no doubt of
his being able TO prove his assertions, he
began:
"Well, you see, good many years ago
we had pair Of common old andlrons.
Your cousin Lefty says one day, Father,
don't YOU think these old andirons are get
ting too shabby p Shabby or not, thought,
they would hold up the wood as nicely as If
they we're made of gold. Soon after that,
Peter" continued my uncle, "your aunt
took il up"
"There it goes " interrupted my aunt,
"you can't get along without dragging me
in"
"Your aunt took it up, Peter, and she
said, Our neighbors could afford brass
andirons, and they were no better off than
We were.' And she said Lefty and her sis
ter Jane were just getting old enough to
see company, and the stingy-looking andi-
rons might hurt their market. L knew that
women will have their own way, and there
is no use in objecting 80 ] got the andirons.
The price Of them was four dollars and
half"
"Ah, that's more like it " cried my
aunt. &c thought you said two thousand
dollars!"
"My dear, wish you would not inter
rupt me. Four and q half. Well, the first
night after we got them, as We all sat by
the warm fire talking over the matter, Lefty
called my attention TO the hearth, the stones
of which were cracked and uneven. The
hearth was entirely out of keeping with the
new andirons, and | thought | might as
we'll have it replaced first as last. The
next day mason was sent for to examine
it. He came in my absence, and when
returned home your aunt and cousins all
beset me at once to have marble slab, and
they put their heads together"
"La, me-, " exclaimed my aunt, " there
was no putting heads together about it. The
hearth was real worn out thing, not fit for
pig-pen."
q they put their heads together, Peter,
IS | was saying, and continued till got a
marble hearth, which cost me twenty dol
lars-yes, twenty dollars at least. Then
thought l was done with expenses, but
was wrong. Soon | began to hear sly hints
thrown out about the brick work around
the fireplace not corresponding with the
hearth. stood for month or TWO against
your aunt and the girls, but they at length
got the better of me, and | was forced to
have marble instead Of brick. And then
the old wood mantel-piece was so out OF
character that it was necessary to have
marble one. The cost Of this was nearly
800. and now that the spirit of improve
ment had got start, there was no stopping.
The new mantel put to shame the old white
washed walls, and they must be painted,
of course; aud to prepare them for paint
sundry repairs were necessary. While this
was going on your aunt and the girls ap-
peared to be quite satisfied and when it
was done, they had no idea that the old
parlor could be made to look SO spruce. But
this was only short respite. The old rag
carpet began to raise dust, and found
there would be no peace -"
"Now, father " exclaimed the girls.
"Till got new carpet. That, again,
shamed the old furniture, and 1t had to be
turned out and replaced with new. Now,
Peter, my lad, count up twenty dollars TOR
the hearth and one hundred and thirty for
the mantel-piece and repairs. What does
that make 7"
"One hundred and fifty, uncle"
"Well, fifty for paper and paint Z"
"Two hundred"
"Then fifty for carpet, and one hundred
at least for furniture "
"Three hundred and fifty"
"Ahem There's that clock, too, and
the blinds--ffty more.'
"Four hundred, exactly" My aunt and
cousins winked at each other.
"Now," continued my uncle, /" so much
for this one room. No sooner was the room
finished than the complaints came from all
quarters about the dining-room and entry.
Long before this had surrendered at their
discretion, and handed in my submission.
The dining-room cost two hundred more.
What does that count, Peter!"
/" Eight hundred, uncle"
"Then the chambers-at least four hun
dred, to make them chime with the down
stairs"
"Twelve hundred"
"The outside of the house had to be re-
paired and painted, Of course. Add two
hundred for that"
"Fourteen hundred"
"Then there must be @ piazza in front !;
that cost two hundred"
"Sixteen hundred" Here aunt began
to yawn, Lefty to poke the fire, and Jane to
twirl over the leaves Of book.
ga new carriage came next, Peter that
cost two hundred dollars"
Eighteen hundred dollars !"
"Then there was 9 lawn to be laid out
and neatly fenced-a servant to &c hired
parties given observation-disclosures and
dresses at double the former ccs.-and q
hundred other little expenses in keeping
with the new order of things. Yes, Peter,
! was entirely within bounds when l said
two thousand dollars"
The opposition was silent. My aunt i'm
mediately arose and "guessed 1t was bed
time" | was left alone with my uncle,
who was not inclined to drop the subject.
He was persevering man, and never gave
nm what ne undertook till he had done the
work thoroughly. So he brought out his
books and accounts, and set about making an
exact estimate of the expenses. He kept me
up till after midnight before he got through.
His conclusion was that the pair OF and
irons cost him S2,450.
1t is reported that Prince Louis OF Hesse
finds the temper Of his wife too much for
him, and will apply for divorce. His
IL. D.;no,es h1ica Victoria "a