Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1868-10-06
M NJ O R O S.
Keening a Hotel.

l.
a hotel,' so l hired the one above named Tor
one day, and tried my hand at it. l am not
Keeping any hotel any more, 1t ism t my |C'ee
exactly. However humIliating the coniess'on
may be, will tell you of some OF my eApe-
rience during the day and night unuer'ooA
to run hotel.
| rose early in the morning, put on my
Sundnv.oo to meeting clothes, bran new
biled shirt with frills, my diamond pin which
7 bought Of ''the original Jacobs, new
scarf with all the cOlors OF the rainbow, aud
boots that reflected my face. In this garb
went behind the counter Up stepped man
to register, and l let him put his name down.
Iasked him if he had any baggage, and he
said. II should think so, you miksop!" He
printed to u trunk which it took two porters
to carry up stairs l asccrtained afterwards
that he staid two weeks in the hotel on that
trunk. and then left. The trunk was sold at
auction, and was found full of bricks aud
eight wood" But l obeyed the Bible in
junction "Here was a stranger and L took
himin" That amt all. He took me in !!
The next that came to get a room was
colored member of the Legislature. told
him we kept u white mans hotel and couldn't
accommodate him. He got indignant, and
asked me .if went back on the Constitution
which guaranteed equal rights to all" l told
him had never read it. He opened his car
pet-bag, took out a bound copy Of the same,
and told me to refuse him room 1t dared
dared and he went to the United States
Commissioner right off. Rather than shed
the blood of man with whom had fought.
blcd aud died for my country, and have my
license revoked, was obliged to give the
calored gentleman IL room, .'all of which is
rasucetably submitted" The result was
row. in which half Of my boarders refused
longer to eat hash in my house, no matter
how fine l had it chawed up.
Then came another who was dissatisfied
with his room. So | rung the bell several
times, when up came porter, cook, Waterman,
baggage master, and two or three bell boys
| told them to remove John Smiths baggage
from sixty five TO eighty seven.
They did it. Mark the result, as proceed
By-aud by came a man who registered
Samuel Jones and lady | put Sam in
one hundred and four and lady" in eighty.
Evening came, and [ was congratu!atng my
self Un being able to keep hotel. All of Il
sudden there was IL jerk Of the bell of the
private parlor. and | sent the "call boy" to
find out what was the matter. Pretty soon
lie came back looking very red in the face,
and said as how ''there was two ladies' as
wanted IL see me in there"
[ went in the '.P. P" and found two
men IN d,shaLllc, walking the floor and cry
ing like mad. As quick as Went in they
both went for me and began:
You're smart man, amt you, to go and
put strange man in my room W hat do
you mean. sir -
/ began to be frightened, and stammered,
I'D did put man in your room
Yes you did, sir"
'.W hat is the number of your room madam!
''Eigllty-sevcn, you wretch
1t was true. | had done been and gone
and done it. l had ordered John Smiths
baggage from sixty~fve to eighty-seve and
hc had come and gone into this room when it
was occupied by young lady to whom he
had never been introduced y I1eavings
Then up came the other one with her pock-
ct handkerchief wet through, and began GU
me
Yes, and here I am put in room all
alone by myself, and exposed to all the dan
gers of large city, while my husband is
separated from me. and putt don't know
where! Boo hoo-hoo! o, you good for
nothing, heartle>s creature %
II ere was a nice box for a young man
There stood one young woman crying like
thunder because there was mau in her room.
and right beside her another crying because
there wasn't! What was fellow to do? l
rushed Tor the office and sung out through
the speaking tube for the chamber maid to
put in order No. III, for the young miss who
had rhe strange man in her room.
l thought ] was all right now. sure but
pretty soon there another jerk at the L.
p. bell. ] had sung out through the wrong
speaking tube. Instead Of calling the cham
hcrmad ON the adde's side l calcd the clam
heImad ON the gents sidel The result was
that the young lady left the hotel in disgust,
in cab, | forget which :! Tie other lady
who hal been married and lost her husband
IN another room. complained to him, soon
aS she found him, and he came to pay 4 visit
at The office.
Why didn't you put me in room with
my wife, sir? Do you keep Quaker house,"
began to quake. why didn't you put
her down as your wife," said |.
Il lid, SIR" he said.
| referred in triumph to the register
"Thcre it is, you see. Samuel Jones and hu'iH!
II don't say anything about her being your
wife. keep respectable house"
lie looked at me moment with scorn
depicted on his cOuntenance, calling for his
bill. and left in the first omnibus without |
paying it. ! knew he was friend of mine |
by remark he made as he was about leav-
ing. No matter what he said.
got in IL huff | rumg for the porter. and
RING so many times it brought the cook l
warned the watchman but called the cham
-bermad. | sent baggage up Red River that
ought to have gone to Mobile. and sent the |
owner Of ii off Oh the Jackson Railroad | |
got the baggage out Of lady'S room and sent
1t off with Il Texan to Galveston. and VIXEN
he got there, he had nothing but an extra
bonnet. hoop skirt, and two sets Of corSets.
for change! The Texan threatens to lasso
me the next time he clutches me.
At II o'clock AT night, [ gave up the keys
of the hotel, and quit. Although L am
''somc with knife and fork. cant keep |
a hotel" | am now in the bone boiling bust.
ness, and tind THAI my genius tends more in
that direction than hotel keeping But if |
any Of my old customers that stepped with |
Il: l. L