Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-03-27
Nasty.
THE NEW HAMPSHIRE ELECTION THE
PREPARATIONS FOR A PROCESSION
WHICH DID NOT TAKE PLACE.

face, his nose shinin with preternateral
brilliancy, his eyes sparklln with lite
thatcood only come from sole surcharged
with joy and skin tolerably full NV whis
ky, walked up and down the room, rub
bin his hand with glee that Good not be
repressed. 81 y ~ y
Is all prepared 2" asked Randall, Nv q
humble lookin cuss that does share Nv
his managin, Che wuz originally paid by
Mrs. Cobb, but sence her Ontimely fail
,yoor in biznis he is allowed the earnins NV
one day in each month NV whisky in
spector in Moo YorK), "is everything ar
rangedg" - 20 l!21'' y l1i9/ ''23 e.o
at is, yoor Eggslency" Go these
feilers ali the high officers are " Eggslen-
cles ~
as the powder prokured for one h un-
dred guns ~. 32o9la PAD uoiiaaimon ri
!" 1t is, yoor Eggslency."'r r;ooe ae
g Is the rockets drawed from the Navy
Department to be fired from the different
parts Nv the city to show spontaneous en-
thoosiasm ;.,o.- r, =: r.t. ..a-,
"They is, yoor Eggslency."
Hev the Department clerks bin mott fed
that it wood be well for EN- to gladly fall
into percession, when His Eggslency the
President is to be serenaded, eff they desire
to keep Their places?" Dt# 1iEi a@oHa
'They hev.' t5 se3 a n3asi sef
."Hey the transparencies bin painted
with the proper Inscriptions Did 700
see one inscribed sSinclair's majority
3,00Ol Moo Hampsheer's protest agin
aThey hev, and l did, di9o2 odi tedi
"Then, !" said Randall, "all is in readi
ness The brass bands know are in
waitin, Stanbery writ the Presidents
speech this mOrnin, and he has it tolerably
well by heart, and the jollificashen must
go orr smooth and pleasant" bril- @r
At this moment the President ap-
preached.
"Haw sed he, sin one more short hour
Washinton will be alive with joy, and the
country will breathe Free, Moo Hamp-
sheer hez spoken. In hour we shell hev
the glad intelligence that she hez been troo
to the ConstOoshen ez expound it--that
she hez rebooked Sumner, and Stevens, and
Wade, and SIGH, and sed in thunder tones
to the impious wretches, who wood, in me,
pull down the pillars Nv the Government,
stay yer franticidle hands, The thot over
powers me. Let's take suthin."
A half hour wuz spent in innocent
bilarity. The President showed the thor
oughnis Nv his reconversion to Dimocrisy
by takin hlzzen strase, with nothin in it,
while Seward betrayed his orijin, and his
consekent onrellability, by drinkin some
kind NV lite wine with no more body into
it than wood be in watered cider
"Confushun to Wadel" exclaimed the
President, holdin up his glass and watchln
the beads rise to the surface with a pleased
eye.
"Noo Hampsheer |" sed Seward, "may
Connecticut carry forard the work she hez
so gloriously begun" "a,
"Our off1ses," sed Randall, "long may
we hold en-" 1855 ,t2aj 9dl of
Kentucky" sed I, g llus troo; tho all
other States may desert Dimocrisy, Ken
lucky will be faithful among the faithlis
found. Fer distillers attest her steadfast-
ness to her party obligashens."
And in such toasts the 30 minutes wore
away.
A private secretary entered.
ga dispatch from Moo Hampsheer" 9H
"Ha!" said Randall, seezin 1t, snow
tremble Ablishism; quake Stevens, for
your time is comet Exalt your horn, Di
mocrisy, for the reackshun is herel"
The gentle and trustful sekretary opened
it, read a moment, turned pale and fell q
faintin on the floor. Seward glanced at it
and gaspin " This is the end NV life" (Which
he intended for his last words,) fell like
wise PROSTATE The President snatched it
from Stewards hands ana tainted across the
rest Nv EN-, and Welles seein the President
faint, did it becoz the President did, with.
out readin it, Welles takes physic every
time the President does. 4 ler5r..a
snatched the dispatch and read it my
self ez follows: @ t'
no DpuS AZ oil doo5
duck. Hartman Is elected by about 5000. The
reackshen got stuck in notch NV the White
Mountains. Pray for us. SINCLAIR."
-Utterin stingin cuss at Dean and Burr,
and them fellows who have deceived us in.
to belief that Moo Hampsheer wuz safe,
| sot about bringin Nv EN- to. The Presi-
dent wuZ the longest comm out Nv the
faint. Sadly they ariz, one after another.
their dejeckshun contrastin powerfully
with the hilarity Nv moment afore.
Ringrn bell, Randall sad to the clerk
who answered it, ez follows: He
"Yoo may inform the bands that it
won't be necessary for EN- to longer wait.
The men attendin the artillery may re-
tire to the bosoms Nv their families, and
those waitin to be formed into sponta-
neous professions may be dismissed. The
President hez desired not to be serenaded
to-nite" ;.ss5:afr5Iab sYHH o}4 bga Ga5s
Jest then band wuz heard approachin.
" Thunderl" sed Randall, "dare they play
without orders"
But we discovered that it wuz not the
ofdshal band. A percessiOn wuz soon a
passin afore the White House headed by a
transparency, onto witch wuz a dead duck,
with face wonderfully like his Eggslen-
cy's, and the band behind wuz playin
ded marches and SIGH, with muffied
drums Four times these hartlis cusses
past up and down afore the White House.
els it not hidyus?" sed the President.
"Served 700 rite" sed I. +" Yoo wood
take matters in yoor own hands-yoo wood
attempt the work NV Statesman with the
qualifcashens NV police court lawyer.
Wretched man." sed !, transtixin him with
my piercenist gaze, "Why wood you at
tempt to eat fire, whose mouth is only
capable of Limburg cheese? With Grant
at the head NV the armies, why did you
attempt revolooshen? When 700 at.
tempted to drive Stanton out, hedn't you
sense enuf TO know that it made direct
ishoo atween 700 and the Ablishnists from
which they Good not escape, and that yoor
death or theirn wuz inevitable? 700
made it nessary for EN- to STAY 700, and,
in trooth, they made lively commense-
ment. Moo Hampshire is fatal stab, i'm
parchment will foller in sixty days, and
then long farewell to all our glory. Good
mite, yoor Eggslency, pleasant drcenas. I'll
to my chamber" .tae litH
And left the poor man weepin great
tears and bitter ones.
l sent the follerin dispatch home to the