Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-04-30
COLUMBUS, O., THURSDAY MORNING,

mess for a Spectacle family to be slash
int about in, warn't it ? y. / be burned if
| didn't feel like stealin' ahoss some-
times. 5oWell, we waited an rested, an
rested, an waited until into strawberry
time, hopin some stray hoss mout come
along, but dog my cats eff aeny sich luck
as that ever comes whar dad is, he's so
drafted mean, an lazy, an ugly, an saw
age, an trihn'. s-e.,i1s = /. ..f,.-.i T..
"Well, one mite, dad he lay awake all
mite snorin' an rollin' an whisperin'
at tmam, and next mornin' sez he-'Sut,
Tlltell you what we'll do; I'll be hoss
myself, and pull the plough, while you
drive me, and we'll break up the corn
ground, and then the old quilt CHATS
marm,) and the brats kin plant it or let
it alone; jist as they d-n please So
out We goes to the pawpaw thicket, and
peeled a right smart chance of bark, and
mann and me made gears for dad, and
they become him nightly; then he
would have bride, so 1 gifts an old
umbrella what l found-it's little fork
piece of iron, sorter like unto pitch-fork,
ye know-an' we bent an twisted it sor,
ter unto bride bit, small shape dad
wanted it kurb, as he said he hadn't
worked for some time, an might
sorter feel his. oats an go to cav
ortin.) Well, when we got the bride
all fixed on dad, he chomped the bit
just like raal boss (he always was
most complicated burned cd fool, eny
how, and mann always said so, when he
warn't about,) then l put on the gears,
out dad an me goes to the field, l
leadin' dad by the bride, and totin the
gopher plough on my back. When we
come to the fence, let down a gap an
made dad mad, he wanted to jump the
fence on all fours, boss way. 1 hitch
him on to the gopher, and away we went,
dad leanin' forward to his pullin' right
peart, and we made sharp plowin, dad
goin' rite over the bushes and sprouts,
same as rale hoss, the only difference
is, he went ON two legs.
presently we cum to a sasafrac patch,
and dad, to keep up his karacter as
hoss, bulged square into it, and tore
down a hornets nest nigh on to as big
as hoss head, and all the tribe kivered
him right strate. He rared and kicked
once or twice, and fotched squeal wos
nor ary hoss in the district, and sot into
runnin' away jist as natural as ever you
seed. I let go the lines, and hollored
woa, dad, woa! but you mout as well
of said woa to locomotive. Gewhili-
kins, how he run! When he cum to a
bush, he'd clear the top of it, gopher
and all p'raps he thort there mout be
another settlement of bald hornets in it,
and that it was safer to go over than
thrue, and quicker dun; every now and
then he'd paw one side of his head with
fust one fore leg and then tother, then
he'd gin himself an open-handed slap,
that sounded like wagon whip, and run
ming all the time, and karried that go
pher just about as fast and high from
the yearth as ever a gopher was carried.
I swar. When he cunt the fence he
busted right thrue it, taring down nigh
on to seven pannels, scatterin' and break
in the rales nightly, and here he left
the gopher, gears, single-tree and klevis,
all mixed up, not worth durn. Most
NV his shirt stuck on to the splintered
end ov a broken rale, and nigh unto
pint ov hornets staid with the shirt, a
stinging it all over, the balance on EN-,
about gallon and a half, kept on with
dad. He seemed to run jist adzactly as
fast as hornet could fly, for it war the
tightest race l ever did see. Down thrue
the grass they all went, the hornets
making it look sorter like a smoke all
around dads bald head, and he with
nuthin' on but the bride and nigh onto
yard of plow line a sailin' behind
him.
"I seed now that he was amin fur a
swimmin' hole, in the kreek, whar the
bluff is over twenty-five feet perpendic-
ular to the water, and it's nigh onto ten
feet deep. To keep up his karacter as a
boss, when he got to the bluff he jist
leaped off, or rather jist kept on runnin'.
Kersplunge into the kreek he went; l
seed the water fly plum above the bluff
from whar 1 was. Now, rite thar, boy,
he overdid the thing-if that war what
he was arter-for there's nary hoss ever
folded burned fool enough to leap over
such place; a cussed mule might have
dun it, but dad warn't acting mule. l
crept up to the edge and looked over !;
there was old dads bald head, for all the
world like peeled onion, a bobbin' up
and down, and the hornets sailin' and
a circlin' round, turkey buzzard fashion,
and every once in while, one, and some
times ten, 'ud make dip at dads head.
Hes kept up right peart lodging un-
der, sumtimes they'd hit the water, and
the water was kivered with drowned
hornets. What on the Yearth are ye
doin' thar, dad? seq 1. Don't (dip)
you isee those internal varmints (dip)
after mel' What sez 1, them are hoss-
flies thar; ye amt really afeared of them,
are YEP 'Hoss-hies hill! sez dad;
they're rale (dip) genuine bald hornets,
you (dip) internal cuss!' well, dad,
you'll have to stay thar till mite, an ar
ter they go to roost, you cum home an
I'll feed you And knowing dads un-
modified natur, broke from them parts
and sorter cum to the copper mines. 1
staid hid out until the next AFTERNOON,
when seed afellow travelin,' and seq l,
'What was going on at the cabin this side
of the creek when you passed it 2 why,
nuthin' much, only man was sitting in
the door with nary shirt on, and a wo-
man was greasing his back and arms,
and his head was about as big as a ten
gallon keg, and he hadn't the first sign
of an eye, all smooth That man is
my dad seq 1. Been much ftin' in
this neighborhood lately 2 sez the trav-
eler rather drily. Nun wuth speaking
of personally or particularly sez L
Now, boys, l hain't seen dad since, and