The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1868-07-16
For the Tipton Advertiser.

SS%sA 49, h#N "a y ~ ~ q ~
For the Upton Advertiser.
The first agitation Of the great and
growing question of "Woman's Rights"
within the knowledge or recollection Of
man, is said to have occurred during the
second week which Mr.. Adam and his
lovely young wife Inhabited, together,
the garden of Eden. OF course this was
| before apple harvest, for at that time,
the readiness with which Mr.. A. obeyed
Mrs. AS invitation to try some of the
particular forbidden kind shows that
the equilibrium between them was
pss1ty yYssl Astssiislsi. ThAAFit Wa
easiser mstue -Ahe,s tfSx. gasddf
| was still Paradise, and the apples yet
green; when the Inhabitants were sim
less and wore no aprons, that Mrs. Eve
Adam discovered that during her whole
| lifetime-yea, from time immemorial-
some of her God given rights had not
,ssy Sssy f'ssskts Sss kss x&t.ss a d. to ,nsi; sss;
proper object; and wholly usurped by
the tyrant, man--otherwise, by Mr..
Adam, Esq. A little retrospcction as
sured her that Mr.. A. had habitually
arisen and fastened to bring water for
her ablution; that he had duly gathered
the finest of the seA4h1able fruits for her
acceptance; that llC had daily brought
the new laid eggs Ssketr n,any domes-
tic fowls, and madaensw sleeping places
for the lions and tiGsEs when theirbrutc
ignorance led them to preempt the
particular one selected by the human
family. All these, ana many more such
like deeds had ting male tyrant been
guilty of, to the Mtat exclusion of his
injured wife; who, in her own mind, (by
a course of very 7Sght mental labor,)
became fully assured that she had per-
feet right; an inherextrig ght to participate
in each and every one of them. Ac-
cordingly, the burden of her wrongs was
speedily poured into the ear of the OPP
pressing race. Thesace heard, hesitat-
ed and expostulated; but am unable to
give any adequate description of the ar
gument which followed. 1t was long,
loud anu laborious.., Soprano and bass
alternated and comMingled in harmo-
NOUS discord, touching to be heard. The
soft sex claimed that they were not paid
properly for their labor, because Adam
shook all the peaches down, and they
We're not allowed to do other than pick
them up, for which they never received
more than they could eat; that Adam
always walked first in the morning,
while they-woman-Eve had just as
much right to 10 20 as had lie, &c, &C.,
It was, indeed, time to
try mems souls. Much was said, and
many unpleasant feelings engendered,
when, in the midst of the turmoil, dear,
mother Eve hid her face in
her her hands, and, after short con-
vulsive struggle with herself,-during
which her many native charms were
by the rising color. swimming
eyes, and heavihg bosom peculiar to ar
agitated woman--broke entirely down
in a flood of tears. lousne not be in
formed the effect was electrical. Father
Adam fastened to support her trem
Oling form; aud with eager lips, to pour
upon the troubled waters the oil Of re-
srets for past bearisl.ness, and assurances
that in future he would awaken her hong
before slumber left his own eyelids; that
she should carry water, shake the fruit
trees-in short, DO Just as she pleased.
In due time the good mother became !
pacilied by the ministrations
md promises Of the naughty man; drew
up thorough ,coma,rs rights platform,
got Adam onto it; and then, arm in arm,
hey walked together down to the brook,
o see if the little ducklings had grown
my perceptible featherssince yesterday.
4