The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-09-03
A Wedding Night Shirt

It WASH t hardly the fair thing that the
boys did to Joe Thompson, the night he
was married, but the temptation was ire
sistible. They could not have helped it to
save their lives. I'll tell you how 1t was.
Joe was about the most fancy dressed
buck in town-over nice and particular
a perfect Miss Nancy in manners, always
putting on airs, and more dainty and
modest than girl. Well, when his we'd
ding day came, he was dressed trunk
empty, and his pants, especially, fitted
himas candle moulds, and hislegslike can
dies, run into them. Tight was no name for
them. Their set was immense, and he was
prouder than half dozen peacocks.
''Aren they nice, boys 2 he asked OF
the two boys who were to be groomsmen
and saw that he threw himself away after
the most approved manner.
stunning - Gorgeous!'' replied Tom
| Bennett. "Never saw anything equal to
them. But, [ say, Joe, aren't they the
least bit too tight? 1t strikes me that you
will have some difficulty in bending, won t
you?''
'PShaw, no they are as easy as an old
glove. See T.
To prove the matter, he bent down so
as to touch his patent feathers when,
crack crack followed like twin reports
of revolver.
Thunder y exclaimed Joe, as he
out his hand behind and found a rent in
the cashmere from stem to stem. Thunder
the pants have burst and what shall [
| do p Il should rather think they had, -
| answered Tom, getting purple in the face,
| as he endeavored to control his laughter;
| but there is no time to get another pair
1t only wants half an hour to the standing
up time, and we have got mile to go
carriage waiting too.
What shall [ do. oh what shall [ do?''
T Ii tell you what, if mine would fit
you you shall have them and welcome,
but they are about mile too big; they
would set like shirt on a bean pole [
see no way but to have them mended, !"
Who can [ get to do it, Tom -
W Ell, [ am something of a tailor,
and can fix them so they won't show.
Hold on minute, and I'll get needle
and thread. -
" Can you May heaven bless you p
'OH with your coat, commanded
Tom, as he came back.
Now lay yourself over on the bed and
LII fix you IN short order. -
The command was obeyed the pants
mended the coat tails carefully pinned
over, so as to conceal the $ distress for
rent, and all went merry as the marriage
bell until Joe followed the bride to the
nuptial couch.
There was only dim light in the room,
but it enabled Joe, as he glanced bashfully
around, to see the sweetest face in the
world, the rosy cheeks and bright lips, the
lovely and loving blue eyes. and the gold
en- curls just peeping from out the snowy
sheets, and he extinguishedi it altogether, |
and hastend to disrobehimself Off came |
coat, vest, fancy necktie and collar, boots
and socks liz hurry, but somehow the |
pants stuck The more he tried the more |
they wouldn't come, and he tugged vainly |
for half an hour
Thunder muttered Joe.
"W the matter, dear?" came In
the softest Of accents from the bed, where
somebody was wondering if he was ever
coming; and forgetting his accustomed
bashfuiness, he blurted out:
Mol, that cursed Tom Bennett has
sewed my pants drawers, shirt and under
shirt all together -
st is too bad wait moment, my |
dear.
A little stockingless foot peeped out |
first, then ruff1ed night dress, the lamp |
was lighted pair of scissors found, Joe |
released and although he denies it, Tom
Bonnet swears that his wedding shirt was
Of the shortest possible extent, reasoning |
q p0Steijort.