Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-06-06
How Suf LOvecOOd's Daddy act
 ed HOss--What Came of it.

| uMVvv Sut u<ON CGOOu Oduuy aCVo ed 'IHOss--What Came of 1t.
 "Hold that ere boss down to the yearth." "He'sa sprcadin' his tail to fly now!" "Keep him whar he is."-- "Woa." "Woa, shavetail." "He's a dancing jig" 'e
 These and like expressions were ad- dressed to queer-looking, long-leg- ged, short-bodied, small headed, white- haired, hog-eyed, funny sort of genius, fresh from secondhand clothes-store and mounted on "Tarpole," nick tailed, long, poor horse, half-brandy, half-devil, and enveloped all over in a perfect net work of bridle reins, crup- pers, martingales, straps, circingles, and red feretin, who had reined up in front of Pat Nack's grocery, among a crowd of wild mountaineefs, full of fight and bad whiskcy.
 q say, you darned ash carts, jist keep yer shirts on, will ye2 You new CT seed raal hoss till rid up. Tar pole is jist next to the best hoss that ever shelled nubbins, and he's dead as a still worm, poor old trickytail."
 "What killed him, Sut?" said an anxious inquirer. su
 "Why, nuthin' you tarnal fool he jist died-died standin' up, at that. Warn't that good pluck; Froze stiff l; no, not that, adzactly, but starved fust, and then froze afterwards, so stiff, that when dad and me pushed him over, he ljist stuck out so, Spreading his arms and legsD like carpenters bench, and we waited seventeen days for him to thaw afore we could skin him. We'll, thar he was-dad an me-(counting his fiEgersD Dad an me, Sal an Jake, | (FoOl Jake, we used to call him, for shorty an Phineas, an Simeon, an Jones, an Chsrloteean, an Calline Jane, an Cashus Henry Clay, an Noah Dan Webster, an me an the twin gals, an Catherine Second, an Tom Bullion, an the baby, an the prospect, an marm herself. all left without any hoss to crap with. That was a nice mess for 'spcctable family to slashin' about in, warn't it2 I be durned if l didn't feel like stealth hoss sometimes. Well, we waited an rested, an rested an waited until into straw berry time, hopin some stray hoss mout come along but dog my cats of eny sich luck as that ever comes whar dad is, he's so dratted mean, an lazy, an ugly, an savage, an trifin'.
 l "Weil, one mite, dad he lay awake all mite snorin an rollin an whisperin at mann, and next mornin sez he--'Sut, I'll tell you what we'll do; I'll be hoss myself, and pull the plough, while yon drive me, and we'll break up the corn ground, and then the old quilt Chat s marm,) and the brats kin plant it or let it alone; iist as they d--n please So out we goes to the pawpaw thicket, and peeled right smart chance of bark, and nam and me made gears for dad, and they become him nightly; then he would have bridle, so I gifts an old umbrella what 1 found--it's little fork-piece of iron, sorter like unto pitch-fork, ye know-and we bent and twisted it sorter unto a bridle bit, small shape (dad wanted it kurb, as he said he hadn't worked for some time, and might sorter feel his oats and go to ca vortiM. Well, when we got the bridle all fixed on dad, he chomped the bit just like raal hoss (was always most complicated durncd old fool, eny how, and nam elways said so, when he warnt about,) then put on the gears, out dad and me goes to the field, l q leadin dad by the bridle, and totin the gopher plough on my back. When we come to the fence, let down gap an made dad mad, he wanted to jump the fence on all fours, hoss way. Ihitched him on to the gopher, and away we went, dad lcanin forward to his pullin, right peart, and we made sharp blown dad goin rite over the bushes and sprouts, same as raal hoss, the only difference is, he went on two legs.
 'Presently we cum to a sassafrac patch, and dad, to keep up his karacter as a hoss, bulged square into it, and tore down hornets nest nigh on to as big as hoss head, and all the tribe kivered him right strate. He rared and kicked once or twice, and fotched a squeal wos nor ary hoss in the dis trict, and sot into runnin away jist as natural as ever you seed. l let go the lines, and hollered woa, dad, woa! but you mout as well of said woa to loco- motive. Gewhilikins, how he run When he cum to a bush, he'd clear the top of it, gopher and all: p'rapsshe : thort there mout be another settlement of bald hornets in it, and that it was safer to go over than thrue, and quick CT dun; every now and then he'd paw one side of his head with fust one fore leg and then tother, then he'd gin him. self an open handed slap, that sounded like wagon whip, and running all the time, and karried that gopher just about as fast and high from the yearth as ever gopher was carried swar. When he cum to the fence he busted right thrue it, taring down nigh on to seven pannels, scatterin and breakin the rales nightly, and here he left the gopher, gears, single-tree and klevis, all mixed up, not worth durn. ..
 Most of his shirt stuck on to the splintered end of broken rale, and nirh on to a pint of hornets staid with