Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1868-03-25
VARIETY.

! PHYSICIANS are the nut-crackers to
+ get our souls out f the she'll which
/ surrounds them.
To be born with silver spoon in
your mouth is lucky; but twice lucky
! Is he who can open his mouth without
betraying the spoon.
An independent candidate for sher
lit, in Kentucky, puts forward, as his
chief claim, the fact that he once slept
with Andrew jackson.
THE young man who cast his ewes
on young lady coming out of church.
has had them replaced; AID now sees
as we'll as ever.
THE damsel who is accused of
I breaking young mans heart has
been bound over IN the bonds Of mat.
rlmony to keep the peace.
IT is very unhealthy to fall in love
with another mans wife In Arkan.
sas this kind of thing usually termin.
ates in death the first year.
MISS CLARA BARTON, the Flotencc
Nightingale of our country, is giving
lectures IN many cities, under the aus:
pices of the Ct. \. of the Republic.
I HOrE, my little daughter" l said
one morning. "that you may be able
TO control your little temper today"
-'' \ es, Mamma and hope you Will
be able to control your big temper.
JAKE, did you like them poached
eggs, what Sary gin yer for dinner p
- 1ou bet Sammy. What makes
you ask Ooh, nothin'. only thew
was snakes eggs, what the hired man
found under the barn"
An @ronaut went up from the city
of Mexico, on Christmas morning. in
a hot-air balloon lie struck a cold
.urrent, which chilled his apparatus
ard sent him down rapidly and broke
/ his bones.
To SoLblERs.-Soldicrs are caution.
ed against selling their bounty claims
to ''scalpers,' who are now engaged
IN buying up at a high premium, such
/ claims as they have reason 20 believe
viii be paid in a short time.
a GENTLEMAN, on leaving a hotel,
where he had been stopping several
| days, rewarded the attention of all
/ obIlglng servant with a gratuity.-
"Ah," said Pat, " long may your hon
or live; and may l make youn fires
hereqfterF
A LADY, out with her little glrl and
boy, bought Kim a rubber balloon,
which escaped and flew up into tie
/ air. The girl seeing the tears in his
1 eyes. said" Never mind, Neddy
when you die and do to Heaven you
tan dit it"
a LADY, while going down street,
unfortunately slipped up and sat down
on the pavement. a clerk called out
-"Miss, you've dropped something"
The young miss gathered herself up,
and, IN a sritetul voice replied; "W ell,
picked it up again /"
THE chIgnon is nearly banished from
I fashionable life. Curls are in great
/ favor; and, for balls, in the curls are
stuck small sprays Of flowers and ber-
/ ries of all bright colors-they are ar
ranged at the pleasure of the wearer.
/ Two or three curls of different lengths,
fall on the neck or down the back.
a LITTLE girl was very fond of
preaching to her dolls. Her mother
/ overheard her one day reproving one
/ for being so wicked. ooh, you naugh-
/ ty, sinful child !" she said. shaking the
waxcn limbs, you'll Just go to that
/ lake Of birthstone and molasscs; and
you won't burn up-you'll just sizzle."
\ LADY, after performing, with the
most brilliant execution, a sonata on
the piano, in presence of DR.. johnson,
turned to the philosopher and took
/ the liberty Of asking him if he was
/ fond of music. No. Madam, replied
! the Doctor; "but, of all noises. think
that music is the least disagreeablc."
GEN. THOMAS, commanding in Ten
nessee, reports to Gen. Grant that
mysterious organizations are forming
in that State. Similar organizations
are reported in Virginia and North
/ Carolina. Gen. Grant has instructed
/ the department commanders to keep
a sharp eye upon these movements.
I The poor, arIstocratIc families OF
I ! 4oTtNCe- Day ara i dF ioE SAYS are TOO
dignifed to 90 to market, and have no
servants TO send so they set behind
( their cratIngs with earthen pots of
ashes in their laps TO keep their hands
warm. and wait for somebody, with
lean chicken or bunch Of carrots to
sell, TO come to thsm.
Az exchange gives Us the following
/ Black Crook story: My dear" said
/ the wife, The Black Crook is here.
( Shall we witness it tonight" "W ell"
said the husband, " had better 20
alone tonight, and see if it is a prop
+ er place for ladies - Y es :" says the
wife, ''well, | rather guess Id better
/ 20 and see if it is a proper place for
gentlemen" Both went
! KIND words are the brightest flow
ers Of earth's existence; they make a
I paradise of the humblest home that
+ the world can show Use them, es-
! peciallv in the fre-side circle. They
are Jewels beyond price and moro
precious to heal the wounded heart,
and make the weighed-down spirit
more glad than all the other blessings