The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-12-18


dItif anS Dntttnt.
- Some people think that umbrel-
las, like physic are only made to take.
"Im off when you talk OF work
ing" as the cork s:tid to the ginger
pop. -5 .H.l
lady must think she has SOM
thing valuable in head, if we may judge
from the number of locks she keeps up
on it.
A bachelor according the latest
definitionis the man who has lost the OPP
portunity of making woman mise
rable. .-U-..... t.a
- "Thls is what they call fellow
feeling for a man.. said loaIer as the
Waterman was feeling for him in the
dark.
- An unpoetical Yankee has de-
scribed ladies lips as the ''giowin2
gaUeways of beans. pork, sourcrout and
potatoes" t.r
"A gentleman discovered a guam
tity of silk on the street the other day,
and on following it up found lady at
the end of it. td,
w llib 10 biiC Illiiilttl blldO hte7 hi'S
head of cat, and the tail of a cat, and
the ways Of a cat, and yet which isn't
cat 2 A kitten. f E. ' "i'f'f
"A New York Journal BIAS the fol-
lowing curious, notice :: ''Wanted a
nurse totake charge OF basket OF chill
dren left at this office a short time ago.
"You don't seem to know how,to
take me-" said vulgar fellow to gem
:leman he had insulted. "1es do,'
said the gentleman taxing him by the
nose. at sIitta. l.tunH...a
An exchange announces that n
girl in Topsham, Me-, recently died be-
cause her blood tarned to sugar. "We
know girl whoif sweetness were fatal
could not live minute. -e
sUPDear Soh-Come home, a rolling
stone gathers no moss. Lucy Mug
gins. y.i .l..l. 5.l TO .f,.af
Dear Mother-C ONE to Texas a
setting hen never gets fat. John
Mugglns, 81 .t,..s..l ~
-. A little girl of two summers had
learned to pass her plate at the table.
One dark night she awoke, reached out
her little hand searching for her moth
er, but in vain. She reached in vain.
She raised rer voice? "Please mother,
pass your face" '.u.faI at aa.I
- An attorney about to make a
bill of costs, was requested by his client
baker, ito make it as light as posi-
ble." .a..,....... .....,,
"Ah, that's what you may say to your
foreman, but that is not the way L bake
my bread.
"A Mound City, H., cow died
the other day and in her stomach "a or
30 nails. mostly eight-penny, were
found rolled up in hay, and some of
them had been there so long that they
were nearly rusted through. She had
MIXED carpet lacks FOR several days
before her death. rIt .I1j}
m - The Springfield Republican says
"a worthy deacon in town some-
where in N orth America, gave notice
in prayer meeting the other night. OF
church meeting to/be held immedi-'
ately after, and ANONYMOUSLY added
''rhere is no objection to the female
bretherin remaining" Hi" >H,t 'H' 4
- One of the richest specimens of
Irish Bul2 which has ever fallen under
our notice was perpetrated by the clev-
er and witty, but laundering Irish
knight, Sir Richard Steel, when invi-
ting a certain English nobleman to see
him. ''If, sir, said he, you ever come
within amile ofmy house | hope you
will stop there" #i
---- Ayouth being repremanded for
his playing marbles on Sunday, was
asked. "Do you know where those lit
tie BOYS go who play marbles on Sun
day ~ He had not been sufficiently
taught in regard to a future state, and
replied quite innocently, "Oh, yes,
some on 'em goes up by the creek, ana
some on 'em goes over the river"
- An exchange defines country
editor thus, san individual who reads !
newspapers, writes articles on any
subject, sets types reads proof, works |
press, folds, mails papers, prints jobs,
runs errands, saws wood. works in the
garden, talks to all who call, receives
blame for a hundred different things
which are1lo ones business but his own, /
works from AIM. to 10 p. NJ. and !
frequently gets cheated out Of half his
earnings" T5a1j,5r. .ya aaf
-"Why Sambo how black yol are !
said u gentleman the otberda to a ne |
gro waiter at hotel. ''How in the |
name of wonder did you get SO black
a"Why, look here, massa, de reason am
dis,-de day dis here child was born
dere was clipse." '.
Ebony received ashilling for his sat-
istactory explanation, and after grin
ming thanks continued:
81 tell yon what it is, massa, dis Mig
ger may be black, but he amt green, no
how" ...f ..,.,.,
- Little Walter Draper is very
good little boy, according to all the
rules LAID down for very good little
boys. Last Sunday he asked his moth |
CT 60 go down to the Gould & Curry |
Reservoir, which, his mother refused
on the ground gifts being the Sabbath.
Good little boys sometimes cry little,
and Walter began blubbering.
"Why. Walter,l cred his mother, II .
am astonished The idea of your
wishing to go to the reservoir swim
ing on the Sabbath, to go with lot of
bad little boys ~ "Boohoo !" blubbers
Walter; 81 didn't want to go swim
in with 'em f; only wanted to go down
and see the bad little boys get drown
ed for gcin' a swimming on Sunday
L i 80