New Orleans Republican., 1868-08-02
r. MODERN OFFICE HUNTER
BY CRESCENT cAUsTlc.

BY GREsthNI tAlollt'
lp0n q hrr modern Office hunter is a creature
ngey .ns no nationality AZ an actual
w plan W. go % tho hepopet nj
yton NJ nations fat; for according to the laws Of
IN the land Of his adoption all men are equal,
arge all beast in stomach if not in head. Differ
to rebd& h. in politics or religion makes no die
sction. for it is worldwide known, in
,hce ~ te Of the chickering's of party spleen, that
.ue ~ office hunters are actuate6 by the same
4 n, hives use the same means to gain theiI
hawai- h, and when successful are equally hap
ysiDed and when the reverse, why, as matter
say course, are equally vindictlye. The outs
e read rays will be Jealous OF the ms, and let the
Etues of the latter be what they may, the
to ~ Aa wer will, ratlike, gnaw hole through
istol \ eclesnest wai(n)scoat, and turn up their
20 " H. ,es at some harmless spot to be seen
ough it, Both arc human, though often
otes humane to each other.
The Every city has its share of this class oi
her ngs. Their chief glory isin hearing of the
emon nOyal of some prominent official, fol-
'nsO o In, heads OF the smaller fry will fly oil as
! In IN by magic, leaving vacancies to be filled
ran element to our modern Office hunters
bis energies, his cunning, and his friends
$500 called into play. A sheet of letter paper
purchased as an "open sesame" to the
+ .bugs room. 1t is studiously covered in
gW htgible a hand as possible with long and
Hious recital of the good moral qualities
oasN Ndeuormous official capacities of the ap'
2OM Mclt; it not unfrequently ends with a
ght hint at being able to render some i'm
" tdate and very important Information,
recails to mind distant acquaintance
l? Nip when the applicant had the pleasure OF
betting him. at Mrs. Amsanwitch's party on
A, occasion Of her infant daughter cutting
first tooth.
5 BE finds out as near by as possible the
" mes of those men who are best calculated
Al have weight with thenewly swornin big
r Having succeeded, the next step is
ind their offices.
e y Zen are not always in their offices; then
ID aspirant learns their usual haunts, and
II rides his untirlng attention between the
/ a, ierent localities mentioned to him as
n elyspots. Finally he takes to the street
F.. 81 despair; perambuates for hours by the
stOfice, in the customhouse, and along
l ! the principal thoroughfares in search OF
IW man. All minor matters, such as eating,
s forgotten; he is huAting up his man,
having made up his mind to hunt him
N En, he does it. II is feverish time with
!. rotdce hunter; for signatures must not
: l@ picked up at random. There is en- ar! IN
> ,m lecting and placing them on the document.
:, instance Mr.. Smithmyth is one of
/. big.bugs, while Mr.. Jonesbone is only
"a medium dimensions, as regards fame and
- rence, therefore Mr.. SIS name must pos
/. S., #ey come first, or the slight will be met
nter.cd refusal
s. AH lisa curious study to watch the peril
OF law ious and obstinate way in which
hungry seekers of government
-eave w OeeIiee VI. w. /,
wn to be a vacancy from the first gray
inc, al N Of day until dark without a moments
7 and Eation of vigilance, on the quiet tramp
seem and down the few feet of space in the
the roW corridor commanding full view Of
Iraln exits and entrances to the coveted
s6 A. sence. Possibly there are some forty of
the d N, all lequally anxious to obtain the'first
!. 7View, and all equally certain in their
= minds of preferment. As they have
Republ got both Mr.. SIS and Mr.. J.s signatures
rthen Fourse their chances are equal, though in
MI 1sa 4 blessed ignorance each one is laughing
- u h sleeve at the other. Every time the
3spehs all heads are Instantly jerked in
roprlsT direction and a lively Simultaneous
:, - A. Fement made toward 1t. Some one
q, ssH ont, they try to edge in, but are pre-
,vbilA ted by the watchful doorkeeper. He is
1r her ssd most confdeptially to carry mes
Lord slaor to deliver letter, but his only
Lerbyp wen is pointing to a cold piece Of paper
lrian b. Ae door informing persons that there
in Bd 10 vacancies. It is dirty, ugly, cold
MS sled looking piece of paper that same
, nonV t;l &c but our forty applicants smile at
n0 and call it moonshine, for they
that not more than eight days
iaoovsr elapsed since the very Hon
\ GroqD " Makepenny De Falter n French
10 cod style resigned his position, and that
EN-. e'untry,needs some honest man to look
mt Of . the fat thus left without guardian;
said ell against the wall on either side Of the
exclsa ready to waylay him as he issues forth.
set ol y bell is heard to ring in the apart
the doorkeeper enters, and the Big
ng fOf salks out. Heis Instantly surrounded,
ADAMS his eyes become momentarily confused
emocri The number and variety of cards.
g the and otsicial letters aonrisbirg within
sne AsAnt anufing distance Of his nose.
-, sayes his hands .mpatiently, Informing
an sSs the came time in g calm, bland
Y ,oyJs nJ nat he iust stepping out, and viii
takes ~ h.sseaslss As Passes on, ior tes
not d o. his manner carries con
a to the minds of his be.
and they Instantly open
hr him to escape. With astonishment
see the perteT carry his chair inside,