Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1868-03-14
A TALE OF AN ASS.
FART |. INTRODUCTORY n DESCRIPTIVE

HO"u OuI d JuuiCIOuS V'CCuc' va o'oSA
yet accidents will happen, even in the
best regulated ia niles, he found himself
ut one time, possessed of a very small
Jiackass-a regular tow-head-the mos
useless piece Of property than can posi-
bly, adorn a farmers grounds. Mr.. Fox.
resources we're great but this particular
animal bafled them he had, hitherto,
found it impossible to dispose Of him
either for love or money" As the last
resort, he resolved to bet him on the
election. SO watching his opportunity
and catching Major Jones. elector of the
State at large, in a good way one day,
be bet his Jack against $500 that Bu-
chanan didn't get Tennessee" Buchan-
an did get Tennessee, and Maj. Jones got
the Jack.
The Major lived in town !; and in due
course Of time, the Jack was sent home.
Such an ass be was He was the size
Of a Newfoundland dog, and about as
shaggy, with a head the shape of a bull
terriers. His ears were as long as his
body !; and altogether, be could be prop
erly compared to nothing but a premium
rabbit in fact, as the town constable
facetiously observed, Eff his tail was
Mes cut off short, aud q bunch of cotton
stuck onto the eend of his backbone, be
would Ties fool the best rabbit dog in tho
country" But his voice | Shade of Or
pheus, to what shall we compare his voice ?
1t was like a locomotive with a whoop.
ing cough, and as incessant as if forty
Thousand COWS were constantly on the
track for, as the rector Of q neigbbor-
ing institute learnedly and feelingly re.
marked, he wa "voI ct preterG mill"
But all this was lost on the Major, who
not being q judge Of borsefesh, put bis
donkey in the sable and asked $500 for
him. He soon fell, however, to $3.50,
and down, down, until he got to IS, and,
finally, although he had exhibited the an
imal to nearly the whole county, be found
he could not give him away.
In the meantime, the neighborhood be-
came loud in their complaints Of the
noise made on the Majors premises /; for
the little animal, not content with bray.
ing all day, made night more hideous
than I" Hamlct's fsther'arghost " coming,
it is true, like the spirit ofthe royal Dane,
in questionable shape !" but bringing
with him-"blasts from He'll |"
PART IL. EprsroLARY AND DIPLOMATIC.
Too late, alas | the Major rose to the
consciousness of his position /; he had
been sold-regulsrly sold. But genius
is daring and be swore in bis wrath he
would get rid Of that jackass. Like the
King Of Siam. he would bestow an ele.
plant ; he would present his donkey in
such a way, that though it might ruin bis
victim to accept, be should not be at lib.
erty to refuse. So he writes to the Dis.
trict Elector as follows /:
Dear Sir:-Tbe accompanying animal
is some of the spoils of the victory OF
the Democratic party in the late great
Feeling utterly unworthy such
a trophy myself, | present him to you in
the name Of the Democracy of old Maury,
as q faint acknowledgement of their ap.
probation of your gallant services in
the late canvass.
rendering you the assurance of my
most distinguished consideration, l have
honor to be, very respectfully,
p..s JONES.
Hon. Jas. H. Smith, X. NJ. c., &c.
The Major rubbed bis hands and 10.
chuckled; and bis ~neighbors slept
that night in peace. But, alas ! on the
following day, q familiar voice salut-
bis ear, and his heart misgave him.
The District Elector, never having been
10 the court of the King of Siam, and
contrary to all the rules Of etiquette, re.
the ass, with the following note /:
Dear SI:-I am truly proud of the
very fattering manner in which you a.
|ude to my services in the late campaign
But, az l cannot consent to wear an bon
80 justly belonging to another, l beg
10 return the valuable animal, hoping he
may long live to trumpet the fame Of the
party and his illustrious
owner.
Awaiting myself Of this opportunity to
assure you Of my distinguished consider.
alton. l have the honor to be, very res.
pectfully your. Smith.
Major Jones, X. M. c., &c. FRI
So the Jack was on the Majors bands
again, brsying louder and more ~strenu.
ously than ever, AZ If proud of the above
correspondence, which was published in
iii the Democratic panara in tho St.to