The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-07-25
Budget Of Jim.

-. a NEW DESIGN FOR DecToR's SHOP
!'iggs' who has lately returned from his Egypt
Ian tour was spending half an hour in agreeable
chat in DR.. 5 Office The doctor has for
some time been talking of getting up new sign,
ana ne asked Biggs if he could not invent some
new ana original design to put on it. Biggs
scratched his head for few moment IT, then looking
mp, with smile beaming all over his rugged
countenance, replied
There is John C. Forney, try his counter.
ance" -
John G. Forney" was the astounded reply,
what has he got to do with a doctors sign ?"
why, he is known as the Dead Duck" Biggs
replied, quietly.
That's worse and worse. What has a dead
duck to do on my sgn?" asked the doctor, i'm.
patiently.
'Why," said Bggs, and the smile beamed
more and more over his rugged features, ut
would show the stranger and to the citizens that
there oas no quack here ~
The doctor keeps little black bottle on back
shelf in his closet, and without word set it out,
and Biggs went into it. The bottle was full and
Biggs was dry, but before he started for home
their places were changed Biggs was full and
the bottle was dry.-Chenoa Times
Chickens fed on Indian meal should have it
cooked. Many are choked to death or die from
eating is raw.
Good dry earth is said TO be the most healthful
material TO place in poultry honsa 1t is an ex-
|cellent absorbent.
The army worm has appeared in the cotton
fields of Louisiana, causing much dependency
among the planters.
On stiff, heavy soils, designed for wheat it
will be found to pay we'll to SOW peas as pre-.
lude to the former
The people in the swampy sections of New
Jersey are doing up the cranberry business on
large scale this year.
i photographer in Massachusetts, was recently
visited by young woman who, with sweet sim
|plcity asked: "How long does il take TO get
photograph after you leave your measure z"
1t is altogether absurd TO say that .'nan is not
perfect Who is there that has not met with
perfect stranger; some who were perfect rascals,
and not few who were perfect fools"
An 1rishman say. that ''the best remedy for
badness is to rub whiskcy on your head until
the hair grows out, then take it inwardly to
clench the roots
Why are corn and potatoes like idols Of old :
Because the former have ears and hear not, and
the latter eyes and see not.
Judy knsws man who has got black eyes in
Iendeavoring TO find out "the difference between
a man and woman fighting in the street."
The La Crosse Democrats New York branch
| office is directly under the Sun editorial rooms
| II is the worst institution under the sun.
"Ethlinda, darling why do you hold yourself
| 80 distant from meI Oh, say" 'Why because
distance lends enchantnent to the view
4 western editor, in response to subscriber
who grumbies that his morning paper is intoer-
|ably damp. says "that is because there is so
much due dew on it,
The Dentists Of the United States have been
holding convention, for the purpose, as the
chairman said, OF devising some means whereby
| they can phi together
A Cincinnati lady, differing with a Scared
soldier OF Scottish lineage in regard to a passage
| IN one OF Burns poems, gracefully said: II
lyield the point, for such fire tried hero ought
to be good authority on Burns"
An Indian came to a certain western agent TO
procure some whiskey for young warrior who
Ihad been bitten by rattlesnake -Four
quarts y repeated the agent, with much sur
prise, as much as that Yes" replied the
Indian -four quarts-snake very big
Two theological professors were crossing lake
together in the West Highlands in company
with a number Of passengers, when a storm came
on with terrible force One of the passengers
was heard TO say, "The two ministers should be-
gin to pray or we'll a he doomed" INA, ma
said the boatman, "the little ane can pray if he
like, but the big ane maun tax an oar"
A good story j. told OF DR.. O. W. Holmes. who
having been called upon and considerably bored
by gentleman who had devoted himself to lee
turing in New England without much ability
for doing so, inquired "Wha. are you Ut about
this particular time - The answer was, "Lec.
turing, as usual. l hold forth this evening at
Roxbury.' The Professor, clapped his hands
together, exclaimed, II am glad of it; never
liked those Roxbury people,