Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-09-09
BREyITIES AID LEVIT1Es.

Speaking of the locusts, which infest
many localities an exchange thinks 'ha'
it is very impersinent to ask young iauy
if she remembers anything ABOUT .he
iocusts seventeen years ago ana reci'es
that an acquaintance ventured 10 pro-
pound that query to an old MAID Oh 'hil
tyseven, lately, and althoug b the mercury
was intimate with the nineties, she ifoze
him solid with the response, IL am not
supposed, sir, to remember anything tnae
.transpired when was only few months
old.o
Some cute Yankee importers have been
cheating their own custom House py ge'-
ing their lead sent from Spain, run into
moulds representing the heads OF eminent
American statesmen, and lnvolceo as
works of ar" which comes in free OF
duty. If the United States have to COM
plain of lead being smuggied In on thelh
under the form of statesmens heaos, our
complaint on this side of the water Is tnat
we have to pay heavily for Statesmen
heads" which should properly be enter
ed as ''lead "-Punch.
A Hartford man recently went to-
neighbor and said to him: 81 am tola
that you are willing to sell the piece OF
land that joins my lot" "Why, yes, L
would like to sell it to some good cltlzen
"Well, what makes good citizen in your
judgment ?'' "a good citizen is man
that does not keep hens" was the reply. I,
Blanche is but two years old, and is
very partial to well buttered bread. One
day, after her mother had been telling
her the story of "Little Red Riding Hood
and the Wolf" she sat in deep study for
a few moments and then asked, "Mamma,
did Wolf eat~Little Red Ridin' Hood up
wit'out any butter?" .a n assiH.: sai
The La Crosse Democrat tells the
following pretty good one ~.
"There are several vagabond Indians
lounging about this city, begging and
stealing for living. One on Saturday
slipped noiselessly into the front door of
a residence On - street, and walked
deliberately up stairs and went to rum
maging about stands and bureau drawers,
and was heard by the inmates of the
house, who asked who was up there,
when they were all nearly scared to death
on hearing the most unearthly jabbering
and seeing the form of an Indian AS
soon as he was discovered he came down
and shook hands, took friendly smoke,
and begged piece of bread. 5a
| One of the young ladies of the house
fastened up stairs to see if the Indian
had taken anything, when--horror of
horrors the change of unmentionables
carefully laid away for yesterdays (Sun-
day's) wear were gone! On coming
down, stairs where the old Indian was
seated, she discovered that he had appro-
priated them for 'leggins," having pinn-
ed the sides sufficiently to obviate the
looseness and bagging, and had the ruff
hes about the legs carefully tucked into
his high cut moccasins The young
lady tainted, and the Indian was carried out
Did the the reader ever reflect, when
he finds fault with errors in printing,
how many type there are in column every
rascal of which is capable of making
blunder? And yet every body thinks he
can print. correctly till he tries it. A
country printers devil who thought him.
self genius, once administered this cut.
| ting rebuke to his superior in the form of
| printed note to the editor: - as539ue
Thee fore mau oft hisO Ffice thinks
dontknoMh oM to % ct TYpet but YOU
seei do Yoores Trnleys 20
AIAT1L. tal3
This reminds US of the editor who re,
solved to rebuke the foreman for typo
graphical errors, and accordingly 'sset up''
4 sundry comments of his own on the sub
/ iect, which ended thus:
! TaL4 aqouT d1inIin 90 peTng hARb
1-iq is juStAs EasA es rollins off A
! LOG: ai1a
/ The Waukesha Freeman has the fol.
lowing: We print it, not because there
is any one here that reads our paper
without paying for it, but merely to show
what kind of people live in other places.
"Drop that paper! Drop it we tell you,
quick. We are talking to you, and we are
talking business, tool We are talking to
you who run into this house, that hotel
and the other store, to see if the paper is
out yet! You are the one we mean, you
; who read your neighbor's paper, and en-
J JOY for nothing what he pays Tor, you who
enjoy free of cost the result of our labor
) Do you know you are theft Do you
' know you are not on ly actually stealing
from us, but from him Z Fie, for shame
Be man; take and pay for your paper
! What is dollar and half, or two dol
lars, or ten dollars, or fifty dollars, to
ward the satisfaction to be obtained from
4 having things of your own, of feeling 1
e decided selfrespect, of having your OWL
] personal property, entertaining reading
s matter to do with as you please 7 Pa
d for your paper. You will not miss th'
d money, and you will gain pleasure, al
Y amount of instruction worth many time
!. more than anything else you will pay for
l. DrOp 1t and get one of your own. and b