The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1868-09-23

teis, anu VIC pIcSuno mOSC IeoueTSi ndu re-
tired to troubled dreams.
The Deaf Aunt and Wife.
25au GOOD ONE. &
had ain atint coming to visit me for the
first time since my marriage, and don't
know what evil genius prompted the wick
edness which perpetrated toward nv wise
and ancient relation.
"My dear" said to my wife on the
day before my aunt's arrival, '.you know
Aunt Mary is coming tomorrow; we'll, I
forget to mention rather annoying cir.
cumstance with regard to her. She is very
deaf and although she can hear my voice,
to which she is accustomed, in its ordinary
tones, yet You will be obliged to speak ex-
tremely loud in order to be heard. 1t will
be rather inconvenient, but l know you will
do everything in your power to make her
agreeable" 8tt .5
Mrs. ---, announced her determine.
ton to make herself heard, ifin her power.
then went to John N, who loves
q joke about as well as any person know
OF. and told him to be at the house at s
o'clock p. N. on the following evening, and
felt comparatively happy. H0f} {
Invent to the railroad depot with car
riage next night, and when on my way
home with my aunt, I said.
''My dear aunt, there is one rather an
noying infrmity that Annie (my wife) has
which forgot to mention before. She can
hear my voice, to which she is accustomed
in its ordinary tones. yet you will be OBJ
liged to speak very loud. ! am very sorry
for it."
Aunt Mary, in the goodness Of her heart
protested that she rather liked speaking
loud. and to do 50 would afford her great
pleasure.
The cnrriage drove UPON the steps
was my wife-in the window was John
with face as utterly solemn as il
he had buried his relatives that after
noon.
II am delighted to see you," shrieked
my wife, and the policeman ON the opposite
sidewalk started, and my aunt nearly fell
down the steps.
kiss me, my DEAR" bawled my amt;
and the windows shook as with the fever
and ague. looked at the window-John
had disappeared. Human nature could
stand it no longer. poked my head into
the carriage and went into strong -convil-
sions. s. jsf.. (
When entered the parlor my wife was
helping aunt Mary to take off her hat and
cap; and there sat John with his face buried
in his handkerchief. igEi
Suddenly" Did you have pleasant
journey?" went off my wife like a pistol,
and John nearly jumped to his feet. l
Rather dusty" was the response in q
war whoop, and the conversation cohtin-
ued. slI
Tho neighbors for blocks around must
have heard it,; when was in the third-story
Of the building / heard every word:
In the course of the evening my auut
took occasion to say to me. a
allow loud your wife talks?"
/ told her deaf persons talked loudly and
that my wife being used to me, was not ef-
fected BY the exertion. and that she was
getting along very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said s.ftly. -.
"Alf1how vefy loud your aunt talks!''
+" Yes, said /, call Deaf persons do. {"
You're getting with her finely; she hears
every word you say. And / rather think
Elated at their success at being Under
stood, they went at it hammer and tongs,
till everything upon the nsautlep;ece clst.
tered again, and ! was seriously Hftaid of Q
crowd collecting in front Of the house.
But the end was neatr. Ny aunt being
Of an investigating turn Of mind, Was de-
siroas of finding oGt whether the exertion
Of talking was ih5nfiOns TO my vile. So
Doesn't talking 30 loud strain your
l6ngsf" said she in an unearthly whoop, for
her voice was not az musical as It was
when she was Young.
at is an exertion, shrieked my wife. n
'Then why do you do it?" was the an.
swering scream.
observation-disclosures can't hear Il
don't" squea1ed my wife.
What said aunt, fairly rivaling q
railroad whistle at the time.
began to think it time to evacuate the
premises; and looking arotnd and seeing
John gone, ! stepped into the back parlor,
and there he lay fat on his back,
back, With HE feet at right angles with his
body, rolling from side to side with hts
fist pocked into HE ribs and most agoniz-
ed expression of countenance, but not ut
tering sound, I Immediately and involun-
tarily assumed similar attitude, and
think from the relative position Of our feet
and head, and our attempts to restrain our
laughter. appoplexy must inevitably have
ensued, if horrible groan which John gave
vent to in his endeavor to suppress his ris-
Utility had not betrayed our hiding place.
In rushes my wife and aunt, who by this
IL L.. ~ a. :
scolding as ! then got never had before
and l hope never to get again.
know not what the end would have
been if John, in his endeavors to appear
and sympathetic, had not given
vent to snch eroan and a horse laugh that
all gravity was upset, aud we screamed in
concert.
know that it was very wrong, and all |
hat, to tell such falsehood, but think
hat Mrs. Opie herself would have laughed
Il she had seen Aunt Mays expression
when she was informed that her hearing
vas defective