The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-08-06
Railroad Refreshments.

A CORRESPONDENT tells the following
plaintive story of recent adventure on a
railroad train: 4 ea
The train boy came along, an orphan
with an aged father and mother and seven
able-bodied brothers to support with the
fruits of his own unaided eXertions. His
principal article Of commerce consists of
French chocolate caramels." These he
sells to the passengers for the small sum of
ten cents each, or eight for seventy-five
cents, Just the number that bought, after
hearing of their good qualities. He spoke
of them as q not only a luxury, but food
just the thing for a traveller who had for
gotten to take lunch with him." And the
Lord only knows how many other pretty
sayings he had about them, and descrip-
tive hand bill accompanied them.
"Foundered ' yelled the boy who had
sold me the stuff, in an ecstacy of delight
Such was the melancholy fact. An aged
friend, leaning upon staff, came to me,
and, picking up the hand-bili, read that
which made my blood run cold. The hand
bill told too fearful and melancholy a
truth. 1t informed me that each one of
these eight little square bits contained of
beef alone an equivalent of three pounds,
and other ingredients in proportion. Just
think of it, my dear boy; here had eaten
eight of those things myself, when one of
them, though only the length, breadth and
thickness of a ten cent shinplaster, was a
full meal for family of six full-grown
persons.
The hand-bills 1T went with the cara
mels contained t. directions for taking
them, but 1, without reading them, went
at once to work and ate all eight OF them
at just that many. bites. l must confess
that they tasted pleasant enough, but the
result was horrifying beyond words. |
suddenly felt fullness as though my appe-
tite was satisfied for all time to come, and
that fullness grew upon me, so that my
vest buttons began to give way. l looked
about in establishment as did the passen-
gers. At last ventured to inquire:
Brethren and sisters, what ails me ?''
"Pizened, shrieked an ancient lady in
green sunbonnet.
Full of lager" suggested brewers
clerk.
Ne plus ultra of horrorsl Twenty-four
pounds of beef, thirty six pounds of bread,
four gallons of chocolate and limitless
quantity of other things, at a single meal
Did any other poor devil of a newspaper
writer ever before swallow that much nu-
triment in six months, much less in five
minutes? And how pulled out and en-
larged, and had to sit on two seats and
looked frightful They teleeraphed ahead
that was coming; but what | was they
did no. seem to fully realize. Some
thought that l was Barnum's fat woman
in a new style of attire. Some imagined
was old Hoffman, the King OF the Brew
ers, or a Gambriaus gar5nus bust; and If
wasn't buster there is no use talking.
l hardly knew what I was myself, although
| had pretty clear idea that was per
feet swell for once at least, and 1t hadn't
cost me much either.
At the various stations great Gro Eds OF
people came out to see me, and the win
dows were soon all smashed in by the curl
Gus populace At Circleville they had two
kegs of beer for me to drink, and the girls
made faces at me while the boys yelled,
How are you, old Fatty" and many
other things to tedious to mention. AT
Lancaster the Board of Aldermen came
down in body to take q pattern, and at
Lexington they fred hundred bottles d