Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-03-13

Tant yite no more,
Jolly old Unite
VIA . glass sys.
Things Wise 81 Other wise.
High pitch--tarring roof
The habits of good scciety
clothes.
TO do q few things and do them well,
Is 4 success.
The gayest sniilers are often tho sad.
dost weepers.
The most dangerous devils are those
that look most like Angels.
What length ought lady's crlnoline
to bc? A little above two feet.
. What did the spider do when he cainc
out ofthc ark? He took a ily and went
home.
Senator Wade was born In the year
1900, at Feeding Hills parish. now q
part Of West Springfield, Massachu-
setts.
Men are frequently like tea--the real
strength and goodness are not properly
drawn out until they have been short
time In hot water.
"Woman IL delusion,r exclaimed
crusty old bachelor to witty young
lady. "And man is always hugging
some deluslon or other" was the quick
retort.
Who Is wise? He that Is teachable.
Who IL mighty2 He that conquers
himself. Who In rich2 He that In
contentcd. Who Is honored? He that
honureth others.
my husband gets but little sleep, he
is so troubled with biiiousness,n said q
worthy spouse 10 her next door neigh
the reply, "he's troubled with billiards
so much that he seldom retires till after
twelve
A jurymnn was asked whether he
had been charged by the presiding
judge--"Well, SQUIRE said he, "ths
little fellow that sits in the pulpit, and
kinder bosses II over the crowd, gin us
q talk, but / don't know whether he
charges anything or not"
A little boy In Lowell was asked how
many mills made cent. "Ten, SIR"
was the prompt reply, Immediately
briglitfaced little girl held up her hand
in token Of dissent. well, miss what
have you to say2" PLEASE, sir, ten
mills don't make cent. Pa says all
the mills In town do not make cent.
What was true with ancients Ia true
with us--that man must have love
for his calling IL he wishes to succeed
eminently. lie then has an inclina-
tion to urge him on, which is an ever
present inducement TO, making his
work light, n pleasure, and not task.
"A
cess.
A teacher asked little girl "what
country is opposite us on the globe 2"
Don't know, sir,p was the answer.
"Well, now" pursued the teacher, III
were to bore q hole through this
earth, and you were To go In at this end
where would you come out? "Out Of
the hole, sir, /" replied the pupil with an
air of triumph.
A lady, the Gardiner (Me.) Journal
says, who recently visited a cemetery
with her little daughter. observed on
one of fhe stones q neatly cut figure Of
horse. Wondering why such an en-
hlem should be used, they examined
the inscription closely, but could find
no clue TO Its Appropriateness, when
her little girl remarked: II presume
she died Of the nightmare"
"Can water run up hill7p asked Q
nineyear old of PHferfamilies. mo.
my son., was the reply. "But tho
Mississippi runs up hill, III my maps
right" persisted the y0ungster. "All
rivers that run toward the Equator
must run up hill, In the Geography 10
right about the shape OF the earth"
Papa scratched his head, and conclu.
ded that bed time for the children had
arrived. s,
Alta largo party the other evening.
while young lady was playing the pi-
alo with peculiar touch, bystander
remarked: I'D give the world for her
fingers" One Of those persons who In
always hearing such things said, In D
voice loud enough to be heard by the
fair musiclani "Perhaps you might
get the whole hand for the aslsing.n
The story ends here.
A young man sentimentally inclined
residing In Wynonn, Minnesota, In.
vited bis lady love TO sleigh ride I'm
the following choice style:
|. my DEAR Mis- The pleasing
prospect that I will hav In taking o
slay ride with you the fust good day
comes, Ia enuff to lift my sole above
the sordid vanitys and superfiewities Of
this world, with such an Intelligent
yeung lady as you. I rename yours In
love purity. vertew and FIDELITY.
F.D
The steamer Amsranth was coming
down the Mississippi. loaded with pig
lead. As she wa& going over q shoal
place the pilot gave the signal to heavs
the lead. The only man forward stths
time was o. green Irishman. why
a L.. 4 - -
the mate. rs IL hsaye the lead, yer
honor? Wnere?'' '.Overboartl, you
block head.p The 1fiAhman enatc7Ied
up one Of the pigs OF lead and threw IL
overheard the mate, In eudeovoriug to
prevent him, lost his halance epd lell
Into this river. The Captain. ronning
to the edge Of tho roof, asked: ssNvhy
don't you hcavo the le&d, And AInK oais
how much water there u ~ The -
is heaved, yer honor. and TIE moeo'o
gore down = see bow muoh Mofsr
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