Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-06-10
The .Loy.l ;. way to Wealth.

The IS Loyal Way TO Wealth.
81 i. Get a carpet bag. Ii it can't be OBJ
tanned on credit, borrow or steal one
Go to the South. Find your way as best
you be able: Hordes Of lousy fellows
have done SO, within the past three years,
who possessed as little sense, principle,
>or cash as you can possibly own, though
you were. from birth bottomless bank
rupt in respect of all these things.
& g. Arrived at the South-say in Ala
ibama-secure position about the Freed
mems Bureau for that is the grand thing
for carpet baggers. Of course you will
prefix "ReU." to your name, or else get
some friend to do it. This is an essen
,tial point. twill inspire "Radicap ed
tiers with confidence and, besides, in
your case, it is a sure passport to the So
ciety of weak-minded men and strong
minded women. These-as you ought
to know, if you don't know it already
make up the influential part of the Grad
ical" faction. Letthem once put faith in
you, as ga sound loyal man., '"all right
for Reconstruction" Manhood Suf-
frage," ETC., and the devil himself will
not lie SO stoutly for you as they. You
may even steal meeting house, or doz-
en- of them, and they will call it pious
deed, and applaud your zeal and consis-
.tency. Yes, sir If you doubt, consult
the Rev. q S. F. WALDRo," at Chicago,
Illinois. personally, if not by mail.
8. Select nice place to live in, and
rent yourself plantation on "easy
TERMS" There need be no contract in
the case, for an agreement contemplates
two parties. Go it ALONE.
p A. Now 1--WE are presupposing that
you are an agent or attache of the
Freedmen's Bureau) contract with your
self for sufficient number of able
bodied "Freedmen." Stipulate that
their wages shall be part of the crop
be it of rice, corn, sugar or cotton
when the crop shall have been made:
you, in the meantime, to feed and clothe
8 them. This last condition need not
trouble you moment for you can
5. Supply them with rat;ons and
clothes, at the public expense, from the
government stores. This may add to
the burden of taxation at the North, but
it will go to swell your profits.
\ 6. When the crop is harvested, sell
the whole of it. Give this business your
personal attention, The Freedmen"
!, will implicitly trust "loyal" friend,
like you. Then absquatulate. Don't
concern yourself about the wages due
the poor blacks. They can't come to
want; there's the Bureau still:-rations
and clothes constantly on hand" Con-
science need not trouble you. You leave
the niggers no worse off than you found
them. 4ta lx1s i
2. Come to the North, but don't 60 to
your native village. If possible, change
your name, always however, retaining
the prefix, Reverend Prize this, next
to big roll of greenbacks. as, "the i'm
mediate jewel of your soul" Assume
the airs, and the cant and the snivel of
martyrdon. Say that you were hunted,
day and night, by the Kw Klur. If you
can be s'a victim of A. Us. Policy" put
that in while you're at it. In securing
you host of defenders. and possibly,
the highest political influence, this will
pay almost as large per cent. as you
got from your crop down South.
And now, possessing wealth, position,
notoriety, loyalty and the odor of sane
tity, you are prepared to deal out dam
nation to Democrats.
Give them, metaphorically,l ,leaden rain
and iron hail. Storm fire and birthstone
ON their devoted heads. Let them know,
from your burning lips. that the rage of
the elements is tame compared with the
wrath of outraged loyalty. Take the
stump. the pulpit and the lecturers
stand. Don't be modest. Modesty is a
rascally virtue; it highly adorns girls of
sweet sixteen, and gives dignity to men
cf sense, but it utterly ruins Radical.
Spice your diatribes strong. Pattern af-
p ter Ben. Wade's speeches, or Granville
. Moody q ssermons, so-called.n Make
yourself perfectly master of the BEN
ioadese dialect, its profanity. its objur-
cations, its blasphemies, and all. Shout
aCoppvAead :" till you art. .hoarse. Yell