Brownlow's Knoxville Whig. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1866-1869, 1868-08-26
spoHdcnce Of the Knoxville Wing.
Boston Letter...NO. 2.
BosToN. Me- Aur. l9.

ter a genuine Boston Yankee is queer fellow.
\ If you can and the door 10 his hesrt-for he has
heart--he is good fellow. He IS naturally an odd
fellow--often, by grace, freenssou. But he Is q
study 70 all, sealed book TO many. Heis penu-
rious and benevolent fond of getting money, proud
10 give il away when be approves the object, and
takes motion" in that direction. In this matter
however, be goes slow snd sure he is proverbislly
oautous-a little inclined TO be suspicious that al
is not just right. Beggsrs from ell parts of the
country come here 10 get money for every object
which can be constructively called benevolent-to
build, repair buy and pay old debts on churches, 10
endorse aid or assist all kinds Of literary instlu-
tions, from a country academy up 10 3 fullaedged
university.
Suppose you are agent for some Southern or
Western college-you come direct TO Boston, of
course You cali on some Of The solid men and
represent your cause The native Yankee gives you
respectful hesring--listens while you tslk-notes
! your woTds your tones of voice-looks al your
clothes, boots and hat your beard if you have any.
and the general cut Of your jib looks ibto your
ipce snd eyes aud down into your soul, if you have
one. lie is reading you through and through If,
in turn, you look at him, you find bim well dressed,
1
or lint anywhere, boots in the latest style and shi
ming black, bat Gall and amooth IS an otter He
looks altogether if be had just been taken out of
a neat, new bsnd-box In manners he has The pol
ish of a we'll bred gentleman.
You perceive be Is perfectly eoo and self-pos-
sessed. All yoa have said has not stirred an emo
ton. he is as impossible rs if made of granite
he has heart, bat at present you can't find il. BE
has clipped il oul Of gearing with bis intellect, SO
that his mental faculties can run any length of
time without the least friction bias from his emo
tionAl nature. Make any appeal TO him now, tell
any story say what you will, try all your tricks of
eioquence on him, you cannot move him. lie is
grded for business, and il is business hour. When
be returns 10 bis family the social gathering or the
church, his heart il put again gear with his in
lelectuAl faciltes, and all the machinery Of his
mind runs together in perfect harmony as if lubri
Gated with the purest olive oil.
We men of the South can't do thi no, we can't.
We have no way Of detaching the heart from the
intellect Our tinder is very dry, and single spark
will otter set all in blaze Besides, we are accus-
toned 10 let the heart wogk the intellect, rather
than the intellect the heart, At any rate, we lot
them both slide together. But must go back and
finish Up this Yankee.
You have made your appeal. He can't tell you
now what be viii do. He must have at least week
20 think about il, If you can stay so long. He gen.
orally prefers two weeks. He has a great problem
10 "cipher out. The 6rst thing 70 be settled is
whether you are trustworthy He is naturally
methodst--though he seldom belongs TO that church
for be always takes you probation, or puts you
on Quarantine" for while. He has observed the
size of your nose, its shape, your mouth ard eyes
especially your chin and upper lip, your height di-
ameter the probable weight of your body, your age
temperament, gsii-your forehead and phronologi-
cal bumps-yOur physiology, physiognomy and era
niology With these data be can cipher you all out
and come 70 a precise, mathematical conclusion
whether or not you and your statements can be re-
lied on He will use freely the signs plus and minus
the rule of three, and especially vulgar fractions
If be has reached a favorable conclusion-fsvor-
able 10 your cause, mean-hs next ciphering is 10
End out whether he can give you anything if 50,
how -nuch Into this calculation bis capital must
enter, bis profits and losses bis yearly income his
family expenses, his annual repairs, taxes, expenses
| for the church and the various causes of benevo-
ence, the poor of his neigbborhood, what his peri
odicals lyceum, lectures and the new books for his
library will cost, besides sundry other things which
be we'll understands, but yoa and do not. When
this problem is fairly worked oul and he has looked
il through carefully second time 70 see that there
is no mistake about il, he viii be able 10 tell you
how much be viii give for your cause. You return
10 his office or store in week or two, but be is not
there--will be in day after tomorrow. Day after
10 morrow comes and you go again, perhaps to be
disappointed-some one is sick in his family. You
60 neat day and lind him there; but he begs your
pardon-has not bad time to decide your case, has
been out of town, hsd company, or sickness IN his
family, and must have another week for consldera
tion. There is no alternative, you must wait or go
away without anything Your hotel bills are run
ming up at from three 60 five dollars day all the
while. No mistake, ne1t time he will have the
matter decided,
The appointed time arrives He is On hand. You
go down but be is in consultation with two OF three
other men on some important business matter. At
Ter two hours waiting they 60, and your Iarn
comes. Perhaps be has concluded that be cant
give you dollar He has met with 50 many losses,
hls family expenses are great, he has given, or
s pledged 70 give Sc much for church purposes that
he really can't give you anything. He regrets 1t
very much-you have worthy oause-he syupa-
thizes with you, and hopes st some future time 10
be able TO do something for you. AT this point ne
says "you must excuse nae, have sn appointment
Al the bank al this Bur" and bows himself out Of
your presence with good morning" and you see
him no more
II is no use 10 be angry. be did not give you
time 10 reply, or to say that in waiting for bis de-
oision your expenses at the hotel had up 70 $50
or more. Keep COOL MIR. Beggar, don't lot your
temper rise or your hot blood get excited al such
trihes as these You at the aa5 Of the universe,
and should esteem il great privilege 10 be there.
You are seeing The world becoming better sequant-
ed with men and things, yeur eyeteeth are getting
longer, and perhaps you are becoming more cheeky.
Now, all beggars sre not dealt with precisely in
the same way, though many are A few viii tell
you at once that e6ey cannot give you anything.
Occasionally one viii cipher ouathat long problem,
and the last oDg-deferred interview give you Eve,
ten, twenty-five, fity, or one hundred dollars. /
have met with many from the West and South who
have come here 70 solicit funds, and whose expe-
rience we're confined 20 the above description
In some cases they say they not treated cvilly
that they are occasionally insulted by some pro-
fessedly pSous millionaire
The genuine Boston Yankee however. is A gon-
tlemsn, snd win treat you civniy hit he is cautios