Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-10-30
The Husband In the Kitchen.
A MORSE LEGEND.

n
Once upon a time there was man 80
surly and cross. he never thought his wife
did anything right in the house. 30, one
evening in hay-making time, he came nome
scolding and swearing, and showing his
teeth and making dust.
"Dear love don't be so angry, there's q
good man." said his goody; tomorrow
let's change our work. I'll go out Win Inc
mowers and NOW; and you shall mlnd the
house at home"
Yes the husband thought that would
do very we'll He was quite willing, ne
said.
So, early next morning his goody took a
scythe over her shoulder, and went out
into the bayfield, with the mowers ana
began to NOW; but the man was to mine
the house and do the work at home;
First Of all, he wanted to churn the but
ter, but when he had churned awhile ne
got thirsty and went down to the cellar
to tap barrel of ale. So, just when ne
had knocked in the bung, and was put
ting the tap into the cask he heard the
pig come into the kitchen overhead.
Then off he ran up the cellar steps, Win
the tap in his hand, as fast as ne couio,
to look after the churn. But When
he got up and saw the pig had already
knocked the churn over, ana STOOD
there, roofing and grunting among the
cream which was running all over the moor,
he got so wild with rage that ne quite tor-
got the ale barrel, and run at the pig as
hard as he could. He caught 1t, too, just
as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a
kick thst piggy lay dead on the spot. Then
all at once he remembered he had the tap
in his hand and when he got down to the
cellar every drop of the ale had run out OF
the cask.
Then he went into the dairy and found
enough cream left to fill the churn again,
and so he began to churn, for butter they
must have for dinner. When he had
churned bit, he remembered that their
milking COW was still shut up i'll the byre,
and hadn't had bit to eat or a drop to
drink the morning, though the sun was
high. Then all at once he thought twas
too far to take her to the meadow, so he'd
Just take her to the house top, for the house,
you must know, was matched with sods,
and fine crop of grass was growing there.
Now their house lay close up against a
steep down, and he thought if he laid a
plank across to the thatch at the back, he'd
easily get the cow up.
But still he couldn't leave the churn, for
there was the little babe crawling about
the floor, and eff I leave it," he thought,
"the child is sure TO upset it." So he took
the churn on his back, and went out with
/ it; but then he thought he'd better first
water the cow, before he turned her out
on the thatch so he took up bucket to
draw water out of the well; but as he
stopped down at the wells brink all the
cream ran out of the churn over his
shoulder, and SO down into the well.
Now it was near dinner time, and he
hadn't even got the butter yet; so he
thought he'd best boil the porridge, and
he filled the pot with water and hung 1t
over the fire. When he had done that, ne
thought perhaps the cow might fall off the
thatch and break her legs or neck. So he
/ got up on the house to tie her up. One
/ end of the rope he made fast to the cows
neck, and the other he slipped down the
chimney, and tied round his own thigh,
and he had to make haste, for the water
now began to boil in the pot, and he had
still to grind the oatmeal.
So he began TO grind away; but while
he was hard at it, down fell the COW from
off the house-top, after all, and as she fell
she dragged the man up the chimney by
the rope. There he stuck fast; and as for
the COW, she hung half way down the
wall, swinging between heaven and earth,
for she neither could get down nor up
And now the goody had waited for her
husband to come and call them to dinner
but never call they had At last she
thought she'd waited long enough, and
went home. But when sine got there and
saw the cow hanging in such an ugly place,
she ran up and cut the rope in two with
her scythe But as she did this. down
came her husband out of the chimney I;
and so when his old dame came inside the
kitchen, there she found him standing on
his head in the porridge pot.