Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1868-09-18
A Literal Turn Of Mind.

THE Irish bull is the result of fog in
the mind. There Is another humorous
method OF expression, which lie the result
Of too much literalDess and acuteness of
mind.
Human thought and language have come,
Of course, from much use TO run in grooves
OF ruts, but there are occasionally people
who presistently refuse 10 be influenced by
anything that has been done before them,
and who are consequently all the time say.
ing grotesque and unexpected things.
or such character was particularly
practical student, who, at the examination
OF the College of Surgeons, was asked by
Abernethy, "What would you do II a man
was blown up with gunpowderS" He re-
| piled, II would wait till he came down"
True" replied Abernetby, "and suppose
| should kick you for such an impertinent
answer, what muscles would / put in
motionW "The fexors and extensOrs of
my arm, replied the student, "for should
Immediately knock you down"
My son." said an anxious father "what
makes you chew that nasty tobaccor
Now, the son was a very literal sort of
| person, and, declining to consider the ques-
tion in the spirit in which II was asked, re-
piled, To get the Juice, old codger."
A lady was once conversing with sailor
/ WIN Ihu hulltItu bHlpWICCh uuu, US bllt
took great pleasure in the analy zation of
feelings and emotions, she asked him com.
passioDately, How did you feel, my dear
man, when the cold waves broke over you9 ?"
But the seaman knew nothing of meta
| physics, and answered simply, "Wet.
nam; very wet"
A small child being asked by Sunday
school teacher, What did the lsraelites do
after they had crossed the Red Scar" an.
swered, I" don't know, mann; but guess
they dried themselves"
Queer answers are very often received
by grown people who talk to children, for
the reason that the latter have not yet be-
come accustomed to the subtleties and
1gurate meanings and roundabout ways of
words, and, therefore, look at things very
practically. Sam," said young mother
TO her darling boy, edo you know what
the difference is between the body and the
soulP The SOUL my child, is what you
love with; the body carries you about.
| This is your body COUGHING the boys
shoulders and arms, but there is something
| deeper In. You can feel it now. What is
itT oh, know" said he, with flash OF
Intelligence IN his eyes, "that is my flannel
shirt"
A passive verb" said teacher, "is ex.
| pressiVe of the nature of receiving an &C.
tion, as Peter is beaten Now, what did
| Peter do " "Well, don't know" said the
scholar celebrating, "unless he hollered
A youth, who was being reprimanded
for playing marbles on Sunday, was asked
| Do you know where little boys go who
play marbles on Sunday ?" He mad not
been sufficiently taught in regard to g
future state. and answered quite innocent
| ly, "Oh, yes. Some on 'em goes to the
common, and some on 'em goes down tc
| the river"
sometimes elected by this literal under.
standing of questions, as when Sabbath
school teacher was attempting to teach 8
very small boy the meaning of wages in
the passage "The wages of sin is death,
and asked HIM, What does your father
get on Saturday night2" "Drunk, ms'm,
answered the boy, without any hesitation
A lecturer in Portland, Me, or some
where else, was explaining to little CIR
how lobster cast his shell when he haC
outgrown it, Said he, "What do you dc
when you have outgrown your clothes
You cast them of, do you not ?" "Oh, no,
replied the little one, Eve let out the
tucks."
Again, teacher was explaining to 8
little girl the meaning of the word cuticle
What is that all over my face and hands,
said he. I" It's freckles, sir" answered the
little cherub
This same literal turn of mind Is some
times used Intentionally, and perhaps q
little maliciously, and thus becomes the
property of wits instead of blunderers
Thus we hear of very polite and impres
sive gentleman who said to youth in the
street, Boy, may inquire where Robin
sons drug store is?" Certainly sir" said
the boy, very respectfully. "Well, sir,
said the gentleman, after waiting awhile
"where is itH" al have not the least idea
yer honor" said the urchin. There wa
another boy who was accosted by an ascetic
middle-aged lady with, "Boy, want to &,
TO Dover street. "Well, man," said tn
boy, why don't you go there, them
The GALAXY.