Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1868-03-13
How Tom Reused Her.

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never so content as when living ac-
cording to the direction of her medi-
cal adviser. DIR. Valentine now I'M
derstands her whims and oddities so
well that he humors her in every
caprice; if she imagnes rheumatism
is her complaint, he agrees with her,
and prescribes some harmless potion;
if she thinks her appetite decreas-
ing, some bread pills kept her in good
spirits until the fancied symptoms of
some other disease induced her to
send again for him.
During the last four years Tom
has often wished that his wife would
roll down stairs and break her fool
ish head, for the reason that the ply
sician's and apothecary's bills made
serious inroad upon his income.
About three months ago she COM
planned of pain in her side, and as
usual, the doctor was summoned
After prescribing two or three bot
tless of different compound-all
harmless but rather expensive-he
said:
"All you want to assist the medi-
cine in effecting a cure is little rous-
ing. Although your ailment is seri-
Gus, it is not dangerous. Assume a
little energy, and you will recover
Remember, rouse yourself"
After the doctor had retired, the
patient fancied that at last some Sc
rious disease was beginning to mani
fest itself, and like little fool she
went to bed in despair.
Tom understood the case thorough
ly from long experience, and said
mentally:
"She wants a rousing does she ?
well, I'll give her a surprise that will
startle her."
Mrs. Hake, an attractive widow,
was engaged to act in the capacity of
nurse to Mrs. G.. The widow is
young, buxom, amiable, and Tom tho It
her attractive qualities might be made
available in giving the patient the nee
essary rousing.
A short consultation with Mrs Hake
resulted in the arrangement Of a
plan, the execution of which was to
induce Mrs. G. to forever afterwards
throw physic to the dogs.
Late the next evening while the
patient was fretting and groaning, and
announcing her intention of giving uL
the ghost, Tom called Mrs. Hake
aside and said to her, in a pretended
whisper, but loud enough to be hearC
by the invalid:
poor Fanny she is about to die
at last, and so you and | may as vel
arrange for our marriage"
Tom threw a glance over hi
shoulder as he spoke, and observed the
dying patient cease her grooming, anC
began to rouse herself Arising
quickly to her sitting posture in the
bed to note every word of the con
versation, she stated at them will
eyes as big as small onions boiled.
"Twill be a relief to me-" con
tinued Tom, "for she has always beer
an invalid. | too, have suffered az
well as she, but with you, the picture
of health, as my wife, my Happiness
will complete"
The widow threw herself upol
Toms shoulder, her arms about hi
neck, and began to chew his vest il
mouthfulls to smother her laughter.
allow soon shall we get Marie,
after she is dead ?" asked Tom, pass
ing his arm around the widows SUI
stantial waist.
81 suppose you will be willing t.
wait a week or two ?" simpered Mrs
Hake, as she leaned her head on hi
shoulder and took another mouthfu
of vest.
The invalid uttered an exclamation
and landed on the floor.
"You think | am going to die, d
your she exclaimed. "Ill live t
spite you both and for you"-sh
turned and grasped Mrs. Hake by til
haircut of my house, you desigl
ing vixen, | will act as my own nurs
hereafter"
From that day to this Mrs. G. ha
enjoyed good health, and Tom hs
enjoyed good spirits, because he hs
not had a doctors bill to pay. Fl
knew how to cure her, for she on
needed rousing, and Ton "rouse
her.