davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
LUCRETIA SMITHS SOLDIER.
BY MARK TWAIN

am ardent admirer ofthose nice, sick
ly war stories which have lately been so
popular, and for the last three months |
have been at work upon one of that char
acter, which is now completed. 1t can be
relied upon as true in every particular,
in as much as the facts it contains were
compiled from the official records in the
War Department at Washington. 1t is
but just, also, that | should confess that |
have drawn largely on Jon,ants -4rt Of
Var, the Message Of the President and Ac-
complaining Documents, and sundry maps
and military works, SO necessary for refer
euce in building novel like this To
the accommodating Directors of the Over
land Telegraph Company [ take pleasure
in returning my thanks for rendering me
the use of their wires at the customary
rates And finally, to all those kind
friends who have, by good deeds or en-
couraging words, assisted me in my labors
upon the story of ''Lucretia Smiths Sol
dicr," during the past three months, and
whose names are too numerous for special
mention, | take this method of rendering
my sincerest gratitude.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
The Red Sea.

The Red Sea is said to be the hottest
place in the world. The atmosphere for
about sixty miles in that sea is steamy
aud sticky. Everything in the shape OF
iron or steel about ship takes on i coat
of rust During the summer months no
one travels on the Red Sea unless COM
PEELED by business or military orders to
do SO. In the winter and spring the pas
sage is delightful. Yet navigation in
that body of water is always attended
with many dangers. The Red Sea is long
and narrow, with sunken rocks and pro
jecting reefs and counter winds prevail,
which produce dangerous currents
There are three light houses in the sea,
which must be kept by salamander-ike
men, since the thermometer runs up to
one hundred aud twenty degrees in July,
and approaches ninety in early spring.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
The Dutchman's Trick.


I While Dutchman was passing through
a city in Vermont a Yankee came up ,ohlm
ard said ''Shon if you treat me to the cider,
will learn you trick" Shon agreed
Yank then placed his hand against fence
and told him to strike it as hard as he could.
Shon, not thinking that any harm could be-
fall him by doing So struck blacksmith 5
blow, but instead of hitting Yank's hand the
latter jerking away. poor Shon struck The
fence board, knocking it off. "MeIn Gott In
Hirmel!' cried Shon, "what makes you
foolish | knock my hand of clean up to the
elbow o! socker blitz my poor frau, what
will she say!'
Poor Shon was bound 10 have revenge /;
SO one day as he was passing through field,
he espied man. Going up 10 him he said
"Mynheer. | show you little trick for
nodding" AS there was no fence 10 tree
near, Shon put his hand against his mouth
and said: Strike as hard "a yoa can
Mynheer struok k, and Shon pulled away his
hand and received the blow on his mouth,
and was knocked down. Shon jumped up,
his mouth bleeding, and commenced dancing
with pain.
"Sherusalem! A tousand tuyfels take dis
country. | goes back TO Holland on de first
train"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
The Mischief Of Passion.

"Will putting ones self in a passion
mend the matter - said an old man to a
boy who had picked up stone to throw
at dog. The dog only barked at him
in play.
"Ye., it will mend the matter" said
the passionate boy and quickly dashed
the stone at the dog.
The animal, thus enraged, sprang at
the boy, and bit his leg; while the stone
bounded against shop window, and
broke pane of glass.
Out ran the shopkeeper, and seized the
boy, and made him pay for the broken
pane He had mended the matter finely,
indeed
1t never did, and never will, mend a
matter to go into passion about it. If
the thing be hard to bear when you are
calm, it viii harder when you are in an
ger.
If you have met with loss, you will
only increase il by losing your temper.
Try to be calm, especially in trifing
troubles and, when great ones come; try
to bear them bravely
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
NO. 80.
The Alaska Appropriations.

We really cannot perceive how Con-
Sress can refuse to postpone any longer
some investigation into the question,
What became of the money appropriated
for Alaska? 1t is rumored that con-
siderable portion of the purchase money
Tor that Territory was intercepted in tha-
United States, and went into the haads-
of the lobbymen, wko got paid eJr doing
nothing ii the appropriations was made
honestly, or who otherwise received br be-
as agents for members of Congress, whose
votes were bought. 1t may be said, il
Russia, is willing to stand the fraud, it is
uobody's business But this assertion will
not be sustained by the thoughtful. Con-
gress had nothing TO do in the Alaska af-
fair but to provide for the payment of tho
money to Russia If, in order to finish
the business by the passage of an appro-
priation to complete the treaty, it was me-
cess arg that somebody should be bought,
we have right to know who was sold
and delivered. IF members Of Congress-
stood back until bribery satiied their
eonsciences, their colleagues should know
it. If, on the contrary, as is most likely,
money was wasted upon the impudent
creatures who hang rouad legislative
halls, pretending to have influence, who
ther truly or falsely, the means of all
connected with the transaction should be
known and they shoald be punished. -
full investigation of this ter should
be made, and, if Russia has either will
lingly or unwilipgly been deprived of a.
portion of the mouey due to her, the fact
ought to be known, and proper measures
taken to vinGicate the holor of tho
country, and to punish, if possible, the.
parties engaged in the traasastian.--
PhHa. Inquirer.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
Who will Have Influence with Grant,.

There is great deal of speculation on
this subject just now. Some people
think that Mr.. E. b. Washburue will
control him some say that he is in fire.
quent and confidential correspondence
with A. I. Stewart, the dry good. man >.
some say that General Rawlins is all
powerful with him, and others that Cen
eral Badeau wields a wonderful influence
We have been frequently asked what we
think about the matter, and to save the
trouble of further INQUIRY we may as we'll.
state our views. On one occasion whaDa
General Grant was riding with US behind
Peerless. he quietly remarked; II should
tk,e TO take hoid f'the reins. Now, we
rather think General Grant will hold the
reius himself the next four years He
has been elected President, and he will
be President 1t is true that he has
said that he should only carry out the.
will Of the people as declare by the laws,
of Congress, but then b. will carry it out
We shall have an administration. He
will do his duty, and the men under him
will have to do their duty. Therefore
we conclude that the most influential.
man with the administration for the next
four years viii be Ulysses S. Grant
Ne,c York Leager.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
Half an Hour TOO Late.

A young couple eloped from neigh
boring town, lately, and when at safe
distance from home were married. Soon
after, an officer was sent in pursuit, and
arriving at the hotel where they were
stopping, he Immediately entered their
room and found them snug in bed. He
explained his errand, when the young
lady said, with ringing laugh:
@Tell ma it's too late. We've been
married some time, aud have been in bed
half an hour. snuggle up, George, and
don't get out of bed for him."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
CHAPTER II.

At eight o'clock that evening, with a
heart palpitating with the proud news
he had brought for his beloved, Reginald
sat in Mr.. Smiths parlor awaiting Lucre
tia's appearance, The moment she enter
ed, he sprang to meet her, his face lighted
by the torch of love that was blazing in
his head somewhere and shining through
and calculated, "Mine own !" as be open
ed his arms to receive her.
"Sir I' said she, and drew herself up
Ike an offended queen.
Poor Reginald was stricken dumb with
astonishment. This chilling demeanor,
this angry rebuff, where he had expected
the old and tender welcome, banished
the gladness from his heart as the cheer
full brightness is swept from the landscape
when dark cloud drifts athwart the face
of the sun. He stood bewidcred mo N
ent, with the sense Of goneness on him
like one who finds himself suddenly over
board upon a midnight sea, and beholds
the ship pass into shroudng gloom, wi il !:
the dreadful conviction falls upon his soul
that he has not been missed. He tried
to speak, but his pallied lips refused th,i
Office. At last he nurmured:
20 Lucretia what have done what
is the matter why this cruel GOODNESS
Don't you love your Reginald any more?"
Her lips curled in better scorn, and
she replied, in mocking tones:
Don't love my Reginald any more
No, | don't love my Reginald any more
GO back to your pitiful juok-shop and
grab your pitiful yard stick, and stuff
cotton in your ears, SO that you cau't hear
your country shout to you to fell in and
shoulder arnss CO." Aud then, unheed-
ing the new light that flashed from his
eyes, she fled from the room and slam
med the door behind her.
Only moment more, Only single
moment more, he thought, and he could
have told her how he had already answer
ed the summons and signed his name 60
the muster roll, and all would have been
will his lost bride would have came back
to his arms with words of praise and
thanksgiving upon her lips He made a
step forward, once, to recall her, bu. he
remembered that he was no longer an ef-
Terminate drygoods student, and his war
rior soul scorned to sue for quarter
He strobe from the place with martial
frmness, and never looked behind him
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
sTRoUDsBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA. DECEMBER "A, 1868

dropped in, and when the conversation
turned upon the soldiers, the visitor said:
"Reginald de Whitaker looked rather
down-hearted, and didn't shout when he
marched along with the other boys this
morning. | expect it's owing to you,
Miss Loo, though when met him com
ing here yesterday evening to tell you
he'd enlisted, he thought you'd like it
and be praud Mercy what in the
nations the matter with the girl ?"
Nothing, only a sudden misery had fal
len like a blight upon her heart, and a
deadly pallor telegraghed it to her coun-
tenance She rose up without word and
walked with firm step out of the room;
but once within the sacred seclusion of
her own chamber, her strong will gave
way and she burst into flood of pas
sionate tears. Bitterly she upbraided
herself for her foolish haste of the night
before, and her harsh treatment Of her
lover at the very moment that he had
come to anticipate the proudest wish of
her heart, aud to tell her that he had en-
rolled himself under the battle flag, and
was going forth to fight as her soldier
Also other maidens would have soldiers
in those glorious fields, and be entitled to
the sweet pain Of feeling q tender solci-
tude for them, but she would be unrepre-
seuted No soldier in all the vast armies
would breathe her name as be breafted
the crimson tide of war She wept again
or, rather, she went on weeping where she
g.. zT IL
ness of spirit she slmost cursed the preci
pitancy that had brought all this sorrow
upon her young life. "Drat it" The
words were in her bosom, but she locked
them there, and closed her lips against
their utterance.
For weeks she nursed her grief in sill
ence, while the roses faded from her
cheeks. And through it all she clung to
the hope that some day the old love would
bloom again in Reginald's heart, and he
would write to her; but the long sum
mer days dragged YEARLY along, and still
no letter came. The newspapers teemed
with stories of battle and carnage aud
eagerly she read them, but always with
the same result; the tears welled up aud
blurred the closing lines-the name she
sought was looked for in vain, and the
dull aching returned to her sinking heart.
Letters to the other girls sometimes con-
tanned brief mention of him, and presented
always the same picture of him-a mo-
rose, uusmiling, desperate man always in
the thickest of the fight, begrimed with
howder, and moving calm aud unscathed
through tempests of shot and shell, as if
he bore charmed life.
But at last, in long list of maimed
and killed, poor Lucretia read these ter
rible words, and fell fainting to the floor:
r. ID. WhHtaker, prirate soldier, desper-
ately ,coundcd :"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
PHILADELPHIA Mint,

The deposits of bullion at the Mint and
its branches during the fiscal year. ending
472, ,S94. So; silver, 81 $685. ,423 So. Total
deposits, $27, 7,l6j,3lS.70. Deduction from
this total the deposits of bullion or bars made
at one branch of the Mint, and deposited al
another for coinage, the amount will be $24,-
59l. 355.S4.
The coinage for the same period was as
follows; Gold coin pieces, 676,539; value,
$40, ,425 GO. impaired and fine gold bars,
Sc 6,026S01. .06 silver coin pieces, S3,32l,
067; value. $l,l36, $50 90; silver bars,
S456,236 4S; nickel.copper and bronze
coinage pieces, 45,43S. coo; value. $i,7l3,-
354.00 Total number of pieces struck, 49,
1885, Total value OF coinage, 1927 ,4i7,-
6o6.54.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
CHAPTER +.

On a balmy May morning in 1861, the
little village of Bluemass, in Massachu-
tests, lay wrapped in the splendor of the
newly-risen sun. Reginald de Whitaker,
confidential and only clerk in the house
'ofBushrod & Ferguson, general dry goods
and grocery dealers and keepers OF the
post Office, rose from his bunk under the
counter, and shook himself. After yawn-
ing and stretching comfortably, he sprink-
led the floor and proceeded to sweep it.
He had only finished his task, however,
when he sat on keg of nails and fell in
a reyerie This is my last day in this
shanty," said he Glow it will surprise
Lucretia when she hears | am going for a
soldier How proud she will be, the little
darling " He pictured hmselfin all man-
ner of warlike situations; the hero Of a
thousand extraordinary adventures +: the
man of rising fame the pet Of Fortuue
at last; and behcld himself, fually, return
ing to his home, bronzed aud Scared
brigadier- general, to cast his honors and
his matured and perfect love at the feet
of his Lucretia Borgia Smith.
At this point thrill of joy and pride
sufused his system but he looked down
and saw lis broom, and blushed. He
came topping dowd from the clouds he
had been soaring among, and was an OBJ
scure clerk again, on salary of two dol
lars and half week.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
Coal Lands.

The Lehgh Valley Railroad Company
have acquired, by purchase. the coal lands
of the Locust Mountain Coal and Iron Com
papy, the coal lands OF the Coal Ridge Com
paDy. and one halt of the coal lands OF the
Treverton Company The consideration
price, paid for these acquisitions amounts il
is said. tn no less than one halfmlllion of
dollars, payable in first mortgage Lehigh
Valley Railroad Bonds. The object ofpur
chase is. doubtless, the securing of coal ton
mage to the Lehigh Valley Railroad and also
to the I.ehigh Valley main trunk. from he
Shamokin coal region.-Aauch Chunk
GdSette.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24

There is magistrate ia town in In
diana, named Helser. a clergyman in
the same place was called upon by young
couple, not long since, who wished him
to join them the holy bonds of matri-
mony. He asked the bridegroom Ga sold
Ter, by the way) for his marriage license.
The man in blue responded that he had
been engaged to the girl four years, and
thought that would DO. Clergyman
thought not, and remarked, as the speed
lest way to obtain a license. "You had
better take your girl and go to Helser."
you goto hell yourself reported the an
cry veteran. And seizing the bride by
the arm, he dragged her from the house,
wondering what manner of a proiane min
lister he had met with.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
If You Want a Kiss. Take it,

There's a jolly Saxon proverb.
That is pretty much like this,
That man is half in Heaven
When he has womans kiss.
But there's danger in delaying,
And the sweetness may forsake IT.
So tell you, bashful lover.
If you want kiss, why take it.
Never let another fellow
Steal a march on you in this;
Never let laughing maiden
See you spelling for kiss.
There's a royal way of kissing,
And the jolly ones who make it.
Have motto that is winning m
Ifyou want kiss, why take it.
Any fool may face cannon
Anybody wear Crown
But man must win woman,
Ifhe'd have her for his own.
Would you have the golden apple,
You must find the tree and shake it;
lfthe thing is worth the having,
And You want kiss, why take it. q
Who would burn upon desart, .-.
With forest smiling by :?
Who would give his sunny summer
For black and wintry sky?
Oh! / tell you there is magic,
And you cannot, cannot break ii;
For the sweetest part Of loving
Is to want kiss-and take il.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
3 Il E T.
IRON AND PURE BRANDY,
By DR.. HARTMAN,
Regular Graduate of The University OF Penn


Regular Graduate of The University OF Penn
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The cure of Consumption was first effect
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have used it with perfect success In my
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20 the public feel confident that every af-
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Circulars and medicines sent to any ad-
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PHILADELPHIA.
Wholesale Agents French. Richards g.
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Philadelphia.
Q~Sold by Druggists Everywhere.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
Universal Suffrage.

Mr.. Pomeroy has introduced in the
stitution as follows:
ARTICLE Is. The bassis of suffrage in
the United States shall be that of citizen
ship; and all native or naturalized cit
izens shall enjoy the same rights and pri-
vieges of the elective franchise but each
State shall determine by Law the age ofa
citizen and the time Of residence requir-
ed for the exercise Of the right of suf-
rage, which shall apply equally all Cit
izens and also shall make all laws con-
eerning the times, places, and manner, Of
holding elections.
In the House, Judge KELLEY (Pa, )
introduced the following:
ARTICLE l6.-No State shall deny 10
or exclude from the exercise of any Of
the rights and privileges of an elector,
any citizen of the United States by rea.
son of race or color.
Both of these propositions we're Pre-
perly referred to committees. In due
time, the subject will be discussed bold
ly and exhaustiyely. There is less doubt
as to the sentiment of members, than as
to the feasibility of securing the adoption
of any amendment embracing the broad
principle, by the requisite number of Le-
gislatures.
Mr. SUMNER has introduced in the
Senate Political Rights bill, also de6n-
ing the qualifications of electors under
Federal laws. and in some form, that
measure has already secured much favor
among members.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
MaximS for Young Ladies.

Don't scream unless you are frighten
cd.
A narrowness of waist shows narrow
ness Of mind.
1t is fine silk that knows no turning
Practice Con the piano. makes rerfec'.
The true test of mans temper is to
keep him waiting ten minutes for his din
ner. 1o
Never faint when you are alone. Al
ways select some good opportunity--or
young man. The more persons there are
about you, the more successful will be
your faint A woman should not only
faint well, but be above suspicion.
The hand that can make a pie is a con.
tinual feast to the husband that marie,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24

Very grave matters are engaging the
attention of the Tennessee Legislature, ie
we may judge from the character of some
bills introduced recently, aud which pass
ed their first reading. One bill for the
lenefit of Mrs. Granville Lindsay aud
others, provides first, that Mrs Lindsay
shall receive seventy-five dollars annual
ly, in consideration of recently giving
birth to three children at one time and
secondly, that like annuity shall be paid
to all other Tennessee women who shall
in future be equally prolific.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24
CHAPTER ".

On couch in one Of the wards Of
hospital at Washington lay a wounded
soldier his head was so profusely band
aged that his features were not visible !;
but there was no mistakilg the happy
face of the young girl who sat beside him
it was Lucretio Borgia Smiths. She
had hunted him out several weeks before,
and since that time she had patiently
watched by him and nursed him, coming
in the morning as soon as the surgeon
had finished dressing his wounds, and
never leaving him until relieved at night
fall \ ball had shattered his lower jaw,
and he could not utter a syllable | through
all her weary vigils she had never once
been blessed with q grateful word from
his dear lips; yet she stood to her post
bravely and without. murmur, feeling
that when he did get we'll again she would
hear that which would more than reward
her for all her devotion.
At the hour we have chosen for the
opening Of this chapter, Lucretia was in
tnmult of happy excitement; Tor the
surgeon had told her that at last her
Whitaker had recovered sufficiently to
admit of the removal Of the bandagcs from
his head, and she was now waiting with
feverish imp patience for the doctor TO come
and disclose the loved features to her
view. At last he came, and Lucretia,
with beaming eyes and futtering heart,
bent over the couch with anxious ezpec-
fancy. One bandage was removed, the an
other aud another was and 10 the poor
wounded face revealed to the light OF day
go my own dar----"
What hare we here What is the mat
ter! Alas it was the face of 4 stranger !
Poor Lueretia With one hand cover
ing her upturned eyes, she staggered back
with moan of anguish. Then spasm
of fury distorted her countenance Us she
brought her fist down with crash that
made the medicine hotties onthe table
dance again, and exclaimed
'Qh confound my cats, if / haven't
gone and fooled away three mortal weeks
here, snuffling and SOLDERING over the
wrong soldier J"
1t was a sad, sad truth. The wretchcd
but innocent and unwitting imposter was
H. d., or Richard Dilworthy Whitaker
of Wisconsin,, the soldier of dear little
Eugene lie Mulligan, of that State, and
utterly unknown to our unhappy Lucretia
b. Smith.
Such is life, and the tail of the serpent
is over US all. Let US draw the curtain
over this melancholy history--for melan-
choly it must still remain, during a season
at least, for the real Reginald de Whitta-
ker has not turned up yet.
Two hundred persons from Pennsylya-
n;a ara 10 sefilo In Garnline cnnnfv Nd
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-24

The revolut oni is in Spain are not hav-
ing matters all their own way. An in,
surrection against them has been startel
at Cabiz, nominally iu the name of Re-
publicanism, but supposed to be inspired
and controlled by the Reactionists.