The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-07-25
From ssPuncll."

wIDDLEs FOR wALLPLowERs.
widdle-when is young lady, who can't
sound her "r's," like, by her own showing,
resplendent angel
Answer-WRen < she tells you she wears a
pair of gold ,oings.
ARRAH, Now WHIST AN enthusiastic
whist-player, an Irishman, says that as on
Sunday in London he is debarred from his
whist the nearest approach he can make to
it is attending the service in Westminster
Abbey.
Design for Monument over TeatotaIler's
Temb.-An Urn.
A BEAUTIFIED BEING.
(OId Lady Sfn0s)
Only look at me,
Fair in every feature;
Don't you think you see
A fascinating creature?
Venus, Beauty's Queen,
Looked so lovely never
Lo now, have been
Made Beautiful for Ever!
Here are bust and brow,
White as alabaster;
Don't you tell me, now,
That am cased In plaster.
Here's cheek, whose rose
Time shall never pluck-Oh
Do not say IL glows
With nought but painted stucco!
Oh forbear to chsG,
Saying, Art doth trammel
lures, which laugh
Would cause to crack enamel.
Freckles DER this face
Where did Times nand sprinkle?
Point me sut the place,
Or show me any wrinkle.
Ihave undergone
Renovation thorough,
Loveliness laid on,
Has filled up every furrow.
SO, to win my hand,
Now, boys who'll endeavor?
Take me rs stand,
Made Beautiful tor Ever.
BEALEs' HAT.-Thank destiny The En-
T1ira has haan sauad frnnn n crima and ahama
1t was announced, to the dismay of millions,
in the report of the Liberal meeting at Guild
hall, against the Irish Church, that in fight
between Sir W. Rose and Mr.. Beales, the hat
of the latter had been crushed.
We were stunned and shocked for two days.
But on the third Mr.. Beales wrote letter to
the papers, and it contained these "words Of
Sunshine:"-
SIT is not true that My Hat was crushed"
That was not all. Anxious completely to
allay our feelings, and restore US with the
honey of comfort to the balm OF bliss, Mr..
Beales, as kind as he is great, added.
sit was not even Damaged"
England has sustained many trial, and not
unfrequently has come to grief. But history
shall not say OF her that she crushed the Hat
of Beales
DIsRAELI's DIsPENsATIoN.
o Dizzy, my darling. when next a lIbatiou
You pour with the Taylors, so gladsome and
Don't pirate, If you love me- about Dlspensa-
tlon,
For that's not word for yourself or for me.
When a gentleman spouts for his own recrea-
tion,
One wouldn't be hard on a firework phrase
But the canting and Recordish word DISPENSE
Is that fitting stuff for these cynical days9
If you meant it in fun it's a mere desecration.
II earnest, my boy-but you're not such q
fool;
What certain religiouists call Dlspensation
Is something that never was taught in your
school.
You want to set going Church agitation.
Well, play out your game with each weapon
that's fair,
But the humbug that calls lobby votes Dlspen-
Old Punch, the great Umpire. 's unable to bear.
Assert. If you like, that dread trlbulation
Will follow the fall of John Manners and YOU
But don't call a vote a divine Dispensation,
Because you re aware that the thing is untrue
Punch likes your smart books for your keen
Ofhypocrite howl that you christened Cy,
But Taper and Tadpole ne'er roared Dispensa.
tion
When Protestant votes were the dearest to
buy.
I'll end with hint this unpleasant jobation;
If oft you display such an absence of Nous,
From paying the penance OF leading House.
From s'Fun."
MEDAL AND MAGDALA.-The authorities OF
the Horse Guards do not mean to give a rib
bon for the Abyssinian Campaign. They fear,
should they do so, that it would be chris
tAnad the nMedal and MuddlaO Caronaipn-