Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-10-02
"what's the matter with
ru that Nose -"
AN "ovER THE RHINE" STORY ny
... THE "FAT coETRIDUroR."

AN "ovER THE RHINE" STORY BY
... THE FAT C0STRIDUroR.n
Pretsel kept beer saloon some
years ago lover the Rhine" Pret.
sci WAS a penderous Teuton of very
irascible temper--''sudden and quick
In quarrel"-get mad In a minute
Nevertheless his saloon was n great
resort for the boys, partly because of
the excellence of his beer, and partly
because they liked to cheat cold
Pretsel, as they called him, for al
though his bark was terrific, expert
cnce had taught them that he would
not bite.
One day Prctsel was missing, and
II was explained by his frau" who
'Jerked" the beer that day, that he
had ''gone out fishing nit der boys.n
The next day one Of the boys who
was particularly fond of "roasting"
old Pretsel, dropped I'm to get glass
Of beer, and discovered Pretsel's nose,
which Was big one at any time,
swollen aud blistered by the sun, un.
ill II looked like dead ripe tomato.
"Why, Pretsel, what's the matter
with your nose ?" said the caller.
III pecn out fishing NIT der poys,"
replied Pretsel, laying his finger ten
derly against his proboscis, 1.-THE sun
1t peese hot like ash der tifel, und |
purns my nose. Nice nose ain't it?"
And Pretsel viewed twith the look
of comical sadness I'm the little mir
ror back of his bar. II entered nj
GUS fellow I'm front of the bar, to play
tal
and collected half a dozen of his COM
rades, with whom he arranged that
they should drop I'm the saloon one
after another aud ask Pretsel "what's
the matter with that nose?n to see
how long he would stand It. The
man who put up the job went In first
with a companion, and seating them
selves at a table called for beer
Pretsel brought IL to them, and the
new conner exclaimed: "Pretsel,
what's the matter with your nose? -
"I yust dell your frient here peen
out fishin' init der boys. und der sun
he purnt 'em-zwi lagcr-den cents
all right"
Another boy rushes In. "Halloa,
boys, you're ahead of me this time,
'spose I'm I'm, though. Here Pretsel
bring me glass Of lager and pret---
appears to get a sudden glimpse OF
Pretsel's nose, looks wondering mo-
ment. and then bursts out laughingl
ha! ha ha!-Why. Pretsel, ,-hal liza |!
whats the matter with that nose 2"
Pretsel, of course, can't see any
fun In having burnt nose, or having
IL laughed ut and he says In a tone
sternly emphatic:
II have peen out fishing NIT der
poys, und de sun, IL yust as hot like
ash der tifel, und i purnt my nose;
dat ish all right"
Another tormenter comes I'm, and
insists on ''setting 'em up' for the
whole house. "Pretsel," says lie,
.Hll up the boys glasses, and take "A
drink yourse-ho! ho!--ha! ha! Ina!
Prctsei, wha--ha! he! he!--ats the
matter with that nose?n
Pretsel's brow darkens with wrath
by this time, and his voice grows
deeper and sterner--
~ peen out fishin' NIT der poys.
ON der leedle Miami. De sun pese
hot like as hail, und purnt my tam
pugle. Now, dat is more vat don't
got to say. Vot gind Of peesencss P
Dat ish oil right; ! purn my own
nose, don'tit?n
"Burn your n0se--burn all the hair
off your head for what i care you
needn't get mad about It,"
IL was evident that Pretsel wouldn't I
stand more than one more tweak at
that nose, for he, tramping about be-
hind his bar and growing like an ex-
asperated old bear In his cage. An
other of his tormentors walks in
Some one sings out To him, "Have a
glass Of beer, Billy?"
Don't care about any beer" says
Billy, "but Pretsel, you may give me
one Of your best ciga---Ha-a-a-a Ina |!
ha Ina Ina ha! ho! hol- he! he I!
ah-h-ha! Ina! bol ha! Why 1hy
Observation-Disclosures! what's
the matter with that nose e?n
Pretsel was absolutely fearful TO
behold by this time, his face was
purple with rage, all except his nos
which glowed like u ball Of fire.
Leaning his p0nderous figure over the
bar. aud raising his arm aloft to em-
phasize his words with IL, he fairly
| roarcd:
"I'ye peen out fishin' NIT der poys.
DE sun Il peese hot like ~ hail-tam-
nation. / purnt my tam nose
Now, you no like dose nose, you yust
take dose nose und sCr-wr-f0Y-Vri,sg
your tam American finger met 'eDs
That's the kind ofn,dn rot Tam"
And Pretsei was right.
'Gail Hamiltonv declines TO be
i a. y - a.t -