The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-08-26
II. U. Grant, the Dummy.

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| Some disloyal cuss, without the love of Sam
DO in his heart, perpctrated the following:
4 Ulesses and a monkey
Rode gallantly and true;
Ulesses he rode a jackass,
And the monkey he rode two.
Grant declines to make speech. Is it be
cause he can't, or because he disdains til,
people and wears:
1.-THE superciious air
i OF all who strut en- nstlttarc !?
The radical papers say: if we lose Grants
election, all is lost" However, there is one
comfort their loss viii be the peoples eterna
gain.
| "Grant takes we'll, says radical of course
he stakes" but generally takes straight.
Grant Travelled in a stage-coach on his west
ern trip, and it was Immediately christened a
Grant stage. It will be an emi-grant stage
after November
A radical paper in Pittsburgh says that
the reason that Grant don't say any thing is
because he don't feel his oats" But it can 7
deny that he feels his Rye occasionally.
Stanton is to take the stump for Grant
Well, Stanton has smashed more Generals
than any other man living.
A Western exchange says that great por-
ton ofthe "Western plains are as dry as dust"
Grant won't stay there very long.
Grant has said, in reply to some soldiers ::
II only want you to support me until next
November" After that 'sthe hood" Or what ]?
A radical paper says that Seymour can
"make the worse appear the better reason"
1t does not follow That he does SO, it is an
acknowledged fact that Grant can not make any
thing appear the better reason. He is
Remote. unfriended, melancholy, dumb"
The Tribune says General Blair is "bloody
and watery" Therein he is unlike Grant.
who is whisky-and. watery
Colfax may be likened unto one of the
Kilkenny cats after their celebrated encount-
er. He is tail without head.
Dana's Life Of Grant contains chapter
entitled General Grant as Statesman"
Prentice says: Not more absurd would be-
in piscatory work entitled "The Sardine as
Whale"
GA club Of Grant Tanners, composed Of
colored men. has been organized at Indianapo-
lis, says an exchange. That is clear case
Of black ard tanners.
IT. silence is golden" Grant is very rich.
Grant having been in the tanning business
for SO long his mouth is so puckered that he
cannot make speech
The Coming man. is named Grant lie
is coming to grief.
The following will be Grants epitaph after
November election "I'ieee.f,N be thy slum
bers"
During the war the radicals insisted that
the President was the Government. Now
they are running a man with no ideas for
President. This puts their estimation Of the
Government at high rate.
We presume it will be gratifying to the
many admirers of the radical candidate for the
Presidency to know that such an individual
still has an existence.
Some one has discovered that G is for Gran
and Greenbacks, and G for Colfax and Curt
rency the fruits of radical rule; while S is for
Seymour and Silver, and B for Blair and Bull
lion, the result of next Novembers election.
General Grant really annsuncnd at St. Joe,
that he was ;.a,y aud dusty with travel"
A Bridgeport Conn firm received large
invoice Of Grant and Colfax badges and in
two days had to send them back to be exchang
ed for Seymour and Blair badges. Ofthe
latter in one day they sold five hundred, OF
the former in two days they sold exactly five.
Let us have peace,
A trooy loil gentleman, canvassing rail
road train in Wisconsin, found one solitary
vote for Grant Naturally they fratern!zed,
and at the end of the route the oanvasser miss
ed his pocket book.
The speople" whose will Grant intends to
Obey--slx hundred nall civilized negroes VINO
rule ten States in the South
The radical clubs are called Tanners in
compliment to Jesse R., and Butchers in COM
pliment to the Son.
| The radicals think that Go-crnor Seymour
will probably go crazy. Grant may have the
deirium tremens, but he is in no danger of
any honest and legitimate kind of delirium
A man is said to be dclirious when his ideas
get tangled, and, as Grant has no material to
tangle, he is in no manner Of peril
Butler says he will support Grant for Presi-
dent. He supported Grant at Petersburg
Tho following, which we clip from an ex-
change, is not very bad:
A loving offer to marry,
Is always lawful trade;
! For his is a legal tender,