The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-01-20
Nice IOung Man.

with so much vivacity; who is always
the first 10 hand around the ices at
the party; who knows all about all the
weddings and engagements and balls;
who escorts mamma to her carriage,
and suffers her to converse at him so
amiably. He seldom talks much, but
he is so nice Generally he is in the dry
goods line, and frequently a member
of the Young Mems Christian Asso-
citation. He has been known to at
tempt to teach Sunday School, but
the mental exercise is commonly too
severe. His personal appearance is
not remarkable He is usually fair.
with light hair and gentle blue eyes.
1t is desira BILE that he should have a
mustache, straw -colored If possible,
and in size like an exaggerated eye
brow. His dress must be so perfect as
to leave, like himself, no definite
impression on the mind except
one of extreme niceness, and his back
hair should always be parted in an
exact line with the seam of his collar.
have already6intimated, an absolute
objection, but their possession should
be carefully hidden. Ideas are fatal
to his supremacy. One Of the incest
young men we ever knew lost forever
his proud pre- eminence from the
fatal accidental commission of
thought But feelings he may, in
deed must, constantly exhibit; 1t is
indispensable that the real nice young
man should be as sensitive as a new
author or public functionary accused
of peculation. He may play a little
on the piano, or, better still, on the
guitar, and occasionally sing to his
own accompaniment in an unObtru-
sive tenor; sometimes he paints nice
~, and often writes poetry of senti-
mental nature, not fatiguingly intel
lectual, and he dances-oh! he dances
divinely.
The nice young man of Boston is a
very different creature from the nice
young man of New York, and the
nice young man of Philadelphia bears
not the remotest likeness to either, or
indeed to anything else In human
semblance. The nice young man of
Boston, for example, is sometimes
prig; the nee young man of New
York is often snob; the nice young
man of Philadelphia is usually tOtats
tSTCo LLtQbGC EOtUHNCUos a ShO III
ROSA feticitus of nullity. Again, the
nice young man of Boston who has
no brains, is permitted to fill the
cavity which should hold them with
weak solution of equal parts
of Emerson and Cant; the
nice young man of New York
who has brains is required to
shroud their existence in the pro-
foundest mystery; the nice young
man of Philadelphia never has brains.
The first admires nothing that he uH-
derstands, tie second understands
nothing that he admires, the third
understands nothing, and admires
only himself and Philadelphia. And
so on. Besides, there are number
less varieties produced again by mere
fluctuations In feminine taste and in
the fashion of niceness. The nice
young man of year ago may be as
different from his representative of
to-day as last seasons beaver from
the prevailing tile. Miss Gigglesby's
nice young man IN no respect resem-
bles Miss Sniggerby's; mammals is
/ not the one with whom Arabella ex-
changes hearts, and hair and photo
| graphs; the nice young man of Betty,
the housemaid, is not the object of
her mistress's devotion. The nice
ness in all these cases is relative; an
arbitrary quality reflected rather than
actual, and subject to optical delu-
sion. But each is In his own circle,
| to all intents and purposes, a nice
young man.
The end and scope of the nice young
mans existence is not so easy to de-
| fine. The poet tells US that :" a thing
of beauty is a joy forever" and the
nice young man is always a thing of
beauty; then. too, his fair wOrshipers
probably find him useful. He is al
ways so obliging, so willing to carry
parcels, so ready to escort one to the
opera or ball, to make up a set or hold
worsted, or take dear Aunt Jane down
to supper; so eager, to do him justice,
for any service where eagerness does
not need to be supplemented by intel
lect. And as these are things which
somebody must do, the nice young man
has his place in the economy of crea-
ton. Perhaps he is intended to show
how small a quantity of brains is
necessary for human existence. We
have sometimes thought that his
mission was to preserve one from
marrying that nice young girl who is
his counterpart, whom every body
falls in love with, and, being sooner
or later cut out by the nice young
man. blesses his stars forever after
On the whole, we think it most prob
able that the latter is the design Of
Heaven in mis- creation. = Round
Table.