New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-03-14
LIFE At THE CAPITAL.


and are so recognized but beyond and above all
other titles to esteem stands forth the one fact that
il offers somewhere to go to when the otner water
ing places are sealed Saratoga anu ;S ;n
seems disposed to throw cold water on lts frlends;
but il is then that Washington filings widest its gates
The few who come in Summer come because they
have claims to present. accounts settle or an archl-
tectural mania to gratify-business IS at the Prov,
and duty sits sternly at the helm. The consequences
is that the Capital then has eminently respectable
and rather stupid floating population ifheavy bodies
be said to foat. In Winter we change ali that.
"Who is here r. 1 asked of friend. the day OF my
arrival.
OF the greater includes the less. but to nave
known at least the demi' was IN town necessitated
neither very extended walk nor very critical obser-
The season does not fairly open until after the ho
days the Presidents New. Years reception being
mainly attended by residents but thereafter comes
the rush Hotels and boarding houses I'LL mp as though
by magic and difficult is 1t for the stranger 70
find comfortable place where 70 lay MS mesu save
their observation-disclosures membranes rather tnau
otherwise, one would imagine perfect readiness Oh
all sides to pass them over to the next conner
II ofice-hOders would but display as much anxiety
to save their souls il would moro in accordance
with the fitness of things. 1t may be, however tnat
saving nor is it quite clear that Washington would
be exactly the proper place if they were IL Is NOT
always easy TO preserve even the propeues mere ie'
alone things of more moment. q,
Reconstruction is the existing topic before the
country, but to suppose that in ITS discussion you
have the secret of the crowds which are here Is TO
mistake People no more come to hear Congress than
they go to Saratoga to drink the water OF that name
Congress" in both cases is only an excuse A great
many men and women come to filrt and dance, 10
rout and to he routed, to marry and be gwen In mar
riagc in short to have good time" fanem e. cr
is tine bread Is asked ss for with no
mention of little games. Nor do know that TINS Is
all wrong in the abstract and desperately wicked IN
the concrete let cavilers say what they will. 1t Is
not at all clear to that vice follows enjoyment In
logical sequence Virtue certainly Is not incOm-
patibe with an adequate supply OF cakes andaie. In
deed am not sure that virtue and the best things
the market affords do not go hand IN hand since they
who have all they want certainly can nave Iittle
temptation to go astIay certainly 80 ,ai Of ife
and viii willingly dispense with Its necessarles' pc
side binding myself over to good behavior Ior al
Incidentally have classed Washington among the
watering places. 1t is milking place as we'll Inc
governmental teats are many. ana they arc SloHSy
and persistently pressed Little the wonder that
with such rude and unceasing manipula,lons the
nipples are become chronically sore, ana every now
and again the poor creature either kckS Sy n a
come for fashion and frivolity's sake, ana II
that impression has gone forth from any
thing already sad. let me- straightway cor
rect Il. Even of those who come on pleasure bent
great proportion have frugal minds, ana c0nht on
making il pay. You W ill scarcely meet any VINO nave
not axes TO grind and would like to press you into
seryice TO turn their crank Indeed the Ratchet Is
never buried IN acknowledgements TO remind ,is
of the early achievement OF MIN alleT "noH iho Citl
is named-an achievement not wholly unconnected
with apple trees Even the Ratchet that he buried
here hope will be buried in some unworthy ana
deserving skulls which could mention
II is commonly supposed that ax-grinders bIng
their wives and daughters with them to assist IN the
work. AS the French say. that depends II h ,ne
wives and lighters not good looking, they had
better be left mt homeland generally are Ugly wo-
men have no business here, and still less influence
as much in sorrow as in anger; to some extent il
seems my own funeral for am morally ana vnysi-
cally certain that if had wife ana daughter they
could by no possibly he good-lookipg but the
ruth Nus. aSe told and justice must be done though
/ the ceiling falls In lobbying through scheme and
securing the respectful attention OF members at those
| primary meetnrs one pretty woman without brains
| is worth more that dozen ugly ones each win Q
bushel TO her back. Exsrience mas proven ms ana
so generally il the axiom acteu upon Inat however
Washington may be likened TO Sodom ana GomorIan
in other wckedness il certainly cannot DO Called
city of the Plain so far as women are concerned
II must comfort the ugly sisterhood excessively to
know that beauty is fatal gift and remember
how swiftly and surely ITS possessors come to grief
Applicants for Office arc here as thick as leaves in
Vallambrosa or flies around ambrosia. They choke
the hotel halls and spit tobacco Juice on the floor Of
reading rooms crticise the pictures ut the Capitol
and thrust themselves forward at receptions. Ii is
curious, however, to note what sea-change comes
over them after they have been here few days. AT
first they anything but modest IN their asplra-
tons and expect if they do not demand, Secretary
ship in one of the Departments; after few days a
first-cass mission would not be refused; anon 1T is
limited that o cerkshp with nothing to do, and
good deal of pay for doing it, would not be consid-
cred undesirable, and 50 down ny degrees nht IL 10
would be gratefully accepted. The services that
these gentlemen have done their country before,
since, and during the Rebellion, would pass belief II
narrated ut other lips they have been prosecuted for
loyalys sake, their property has suffered their per-
been abused and altogether It seems pity that
they did not suffer in time to obtain admission in the
last edition of Foxs Martyrs. They always heads
of families, and such families! The children depen-
dent them for support seem really incenceivaDle
their name in the aggregate should be Legion, and
each might be called Wonderful. John Rogers is left
in the shade; his barren hearth in comparison.
If these persons would but refrain from buttonhol
ing you on every to insist that you exert I'M
possible influences in the rem0est quarters cleanse
their boards and breaths OF impurities, and evlnce
less contempt for spltt9cns you might CONSIDER them
it is they are unmitigated nulsances and one re-
grets that there is no chance of their abatement by
legislation.
OF whisky-inspecters and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
who distran at mat and swallow a camel-who
hold their positions by uncertain tenures, and have
woes of these innocents would fill volumes, and the
tender faulty with which they relate them is es-
peciay charming One OF them VINO Is sai9 20 nays
made 500 900 since May last, nailed me at Wlllards
the other evening and unbos0med himself in sort OF
confidential hari-kari. He had made nothing, he
said indeed he was out of pocket by virtue of his
Office and would willingly resign it If permitted to
do so in an honorable manner. But he strongly OBJ
jected TO going out with even shadow OF suspicion
resting ON his character Had he not been
vlrtuous lie might now be happy and wealthy.
on one occasion, while investigating the bust
ness of o dstillery, he was surprised in going to
his office by large envelope lying on his desk How
il got there no one knew. Opening it, he found, to
his horror and amazement ten new scrip 600 notes.
OF course he did not not know whence they came,
but he had his suspicious Going down to the distil-
lery he charged the with the outrage and de-
manded either an explanation or an apology. The
man denied all knowledge of the money! but con-
WINGED that he and other the guilty party,
my friend threw il Indignantly down on the head of
a whisky barrel and left. The end was not then.