The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-01

ceiying and sending dispatches. The
following are among the latest.

lOlIOWlilS are among lne latest.
By CABLE FROM LoNDoS. Quakers
the descendants OF those who fled from
New England and were not hanged, To
the number Of 10000, are now assem-
bled in and around Exeter Hall, pre-
pairing a acongratulatory address to Mrs.
! UniolIa Stinkly foo her noble work.
$4,000 sterling have been voted her, pro-
vided she gets through without talking
more than ten words each hour. The
Dutchess ofSutherland wishes to spend
the remainder of her life in bed with
Mrs. Stinkly.
FROM CoSsTANTiNoPLE BY CABLE
Five Shiploads of Howling and Twirl-
ing Dervishes leave here this evening
to visit Mrs. Stinkly. They and the
Sultan send their pious regards to her.
All honor to Emmerryky and Nu Ing
Lin. Allah IL Allah!
FHoM DAHoxEY.-King Boxjosh J Jees-
wax has killed 347 more of his wives in
honor Of Mrs. Stinkly. All troofy loil
Afriky lejices.
FRoM HoK. CHARLES SUMNER-a Clio
rious Dispatch.
U. $. SENATE CHAMBER April 5, 1868.
STICK MY STINKLY.
.-...e.- t..I. C. S. ...t
This sweetly characteristic and cour-
ageous dispatch was at once commitni-
to the audience and its reception was
such as to battle all description Women
and children wept more than ever, and
some of the men. quite beside them
selves, even laughed. All honor to the
lion-hearttd Senator from Massachu-
setts tor his intrepid message. Duxbury
will vote him golden nutmeg-grater
at the next meeting of her Selectmen
Later Yet, An horrible Eoent! Terrific
Excitement! Mrs. Stinkly bears bravely
up to the present time, II 20 T.. NJ. Her
venerable heels are if possible little
less agitated. Hon. Sole affectionately
keeps her mouth clean of impassionate
foam. But a terrible event has occur
red. When her last SybillIne utter
ance was made and proofs of it were
selling rapidly to the crowd. which
numbers now about 206,423 7-S loyal
souls, q person., name unknown, bu.
supposed to be a Rebel or vile Cop
perhead. betted disloyally and desper-
ately with q col0red gentleman the sum
Of ten cents fractional currency that
he, the Rebel or Copperhead could tell
tire true meaning of the First Great
Utterance. whith Prof. Skunksir had
translatedto mean that Andrew John
son must be impeached. The bet was
promptly and loyalty taken, the mo-
ney deposited and the printed Utter
ance |" submitted to the Rebel or Cop
perhead. Holding it up before large
flambeau he displayed the holy and aw-
full Congo characters, heretofore given,
to wit.
"ITG OESD AM NEDHAR DWI
TIA MOL DNlGG ERLi KEME,"
and roared out his reasonable and ve-
nomous translation as follows.
at goes damned hard with an old
nigger like me-" t4''r
That is to say, it goes hard with her
because she can speak only ten words
each hour. The ineflably base and dis
loyal wretch! No soonerwas his trans
lation rendered than great and fearful
cry arose, KU KLUx KU KLUxl AS
this boding sound assembled to the 10y
al and peaceful stars, CONSERVATION
prevailed; men women and children fled
in wild and dread dismay; thousands
were trampled to death; the 40 70
platform and the regal Catatalque fell
to the ground; aged Mrs. Stinkly and
Hon. Z. r. Sole also fell: both were
DTuiSeu, anu Vic TttiIidn hu hluN eS-
capped in the darkness, but we are hap
py to say that the loyal colored bettor
saved his ten Union cents. .rI
LATEST. SAD TERMINATION OF THE 10y
AL u Mon AFRICAN FEMALE NoN-TALKING
PERFORMANCES. Mrs. Stinkly is no more.
After eating ten Goldfish balls saturated
with New England rum, to tide her
over the shock, she suddenly and unex-
pectedly gave loud and very loyal
grunt and expired. This is sad. The
town is deserted. All is as still as Mrs.
Stinkly. She died at % minutes after
IL o'clock. Hon. Egregious Il. Sole
is now weepingly engaged in looking
after Mrs. Uniona Stinkly's effects in
her chest or, as she loved to call it to
the last. her chist. Particulars in an
early extra at noon tomorrow. Price
cents. tuas #..- .'t