The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-12-26
From "Punch."

n
BEST STONE FOR THE CONSTITUTIONAL FABRIC.
Glad stone.
MocKERY AND MUMNBRY.-What furchas
naturally demands-a Cell
ACTS OF COURTESY. disappointment teaches
useful lessons-politeness, for instance. HOW
many rejected candidates during the last fort
night have been bowling to the decision OF the
Electors
ELECTION FACT All the walters at the
Trafalgar voted for Mr.. Gladstone, in the hope
that II he sat for Greenwich he would tighten
their labors at the Ministerial dinner by re-
ducing il to Three Courses.
FRAHK.-At the first meeting Of the Reform
League after the fatal election day, Mr.. Beales
stated that he should have been elected If it
had not been for the police, who hindered his
friends. This is not unlikely.
MORE MARTYRs.-The fires Of Smithfeld
appear to be lighted again. In the midst of
the festivity which prevailed at the opening of
the Metropolitan Market in that historical
quarter, poor Mr.. Horace Jones, the architect,
and Messrs. Brown and Robinson, the build
ers, all of whom deserved better fate, were
toasted.
HEALTH FOR ANGLo-INDIANs.-The capabili-
ties of the Hmalay as, in a sanitary point OF
view are undeniably pointed out by the
Times. No doubt when roads and railways
are extended to the hills, Englishmen aud
their reach in India as in Europe. Still the
recovery of health will be uphill work.
NOTHING LIKE BoUNCE.-"It is calculated
that ], ,000 600 copies of the Address (of the
Protestant Association to the Electors of the
United Kingdom) have been circulated and
read by between 5,000,O 600 and lO,O00, 600 peo-
pe.' Is not this wonderful calculation rather
an abuse of round numbers To be sure,
5,000,001 may be said to be between five and
ten millions.
"HAUssEz LES MAINS, MEssIEURs !''-Weread
in the papers the announcement that "the
House of Commons and its approaches have
been thoroughly cleansed." Punch hopes
this is true-particularly the approaches-as,
from some stories he has heard of the elections,
he finds difficulty in believing it. He can
only hope that honorable members will all
show clean hands on meeting in their clean
house.
ANOTHER CLERICAL CAPER.-The unlucky
parson who wants to be set up as an Opposition
prelate to DR.. Colenso, Lord Bishop of Natal,
has been induced, it is said, by a recent pro-
RMeSsion to believe that he he has has no ShspSe Of Of
to the Cape. A voyage that way improves
certain wine but We never heard that it would
do any good to small beer. The Natalians will
decline to have anything to do with him
they are merry colonists, and cut Capers.
RITUALIsM UNMAsKED.-The Rev. Orby Ship
ICY pdr5Ou) aUV0rJlb0S an 'aSc6Jlc''
work on Preparation for Death, as "trans-
lated from the Italian of Alfonso, Bishop of st.
Agatha" The Pail Mall Gazette points out
that this Alfonso is no other than the notori-
GUS Alfonso Liguori, neo-Catholic Saint, and
casuist of certain unpleasant stamp. May
we be allowed to observe that the Rev. Orby
Shipley has evidently Liguorish tooth
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. admirable reaspners,"
said the meditative Brown, "our dishonest
oiQ mi ba
"Why do you say this p said the inquisi-
tive Jones.
"Have you read Hobbies p"
"Yes, but fail to recall a passage illustra-
tive of your proposition"
"He says that Reason is the Subtraction of
Parcels.''
How SOLD BREAD-Mr. Arnold gave his de-
oisIon the other day that Cottage loaves"
were "Fancy Bread" and were not amenable
80 the laws which regulate the sale of the Or
dinary "staff of life."
'Oh tell me what is Fancy Bread p"
The public unto Arnold said.
"ShOuld it'be weighed like tea or lead ?"
"No," worthy Arnold decided.
'If you get cottage loaves instead
or that on which you should be fed,
And will new-faagled fOod-paths tread,
Not those your fathers followed,
You must put up with being bled,
If you will fancy Fancy Bread"
ExPIANATIoN.-A lady of Stepney requests
us to say that she has read a cock bull
story about pillar letter box in that district
suddenly exploding, gas-pipe being accused
of having leaked into it. She wishes justice
to be done, even to gasmen (though they do
cheat, and she doesn't believe in the meter q
bit), and she thinks it right to say that, haV-
ing good cause and occasion to rebuke her
husband very severely, she did so in letter
which she posted in the box in question.
What exploded she has no doubt was her