St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1868-11-13
Humorous.
NEW MATERIAL FOR WALKS.

stores IN Brattleboro, VT, built a new
walk IN front Of one of them. which
caused dissatisfaction with the other ten.
ants. Going up the street one mornin.
with concealed liquors about his per.
son., one of the tenants accoSted him
with: See here, Mr.. A., are YOU not
gong to lay walk in front of my shop
NO, haven't any bricks "N,
bricks" said the shop-keeper, ''What /.
the reason you can't give us the one yor
have in your hat -
HOW A QUAKEREss OBTAINED wuRLDIA
AMUSEMENT.
The Quakers, as a sect, it is known
do not favor music; they believe it to
be a protitlesS amusement, INDUCED in bv
the worlds people. George Thompson
the celebrated English abo!itionist, while
lecturing in England on the abolition ol
slavery i'll the British provinces, stopped
one night with Quaker family. lie i
a great lover of music, and at that tim,
was a good singer During the evening
he sang, "Oh in the Silly Night, -
which was listened 10 with the closest
attention. In the morning the lady OF
the house, after Mr.. Thompson came
from his room, appeared quite uneasy.
She wished TO hear the song again, but
it would hardly do for her, a Quakere,-
TO request its repetition, but at last her
desire getting the better OF her, she ven-
tured to say George, will thee repeat
the words of last evening in thy usual
manner -
STARR KING on TIE FLAWS OF DISOR-
DER" WITH AN APPLICATION.
Some years before the rebellion, Wen
dell Philips lectured in Watcrtown, y.
Y, on the sLost Arts" when slavery
was a delicate matter TO touch upon
/ But Il certain judge who was tincturrd
with abolition sentiments, requested that
Mr.. Phillips at the close OF the lecture
rive Il half hours talk on slavery. which
he consented TO do, providing the officers
Of the lyccum had no objection. The
president OF the association gave his as
sent, and Mr.. Phillips, who was equally
pleased 10 speak on his t;Ivurile theme.
as were few 10 hear him, delivered =
stirring address. in which he neither
pared the slave holder, nor his northern
ally, the democratic party. The demo-
crats and conservatives VINO were mad
!crribly Indignant 10y Mr. Phillips ra-
marks. touh the lecture committee to
task. and the next week when Starr
Kin. succeeded Mr. Phillips, the prysi-
dent On arising to Introduce the lecturer.
took occasion to make an explanation.
He said Mr.. Phillips had spoken On
slavery with his permission, although he
didn't endorse what he had said. That
part of the audience who We're still smart
Ing under Mr.. Phillips cau-tic re5ukc OF
northern doughtacc>, set up great tn
multi The president became excited,
and finally sat down without introducing
the lecturer. Mr.. King then rose, step
ped forward and said: Ladies anu
Gentlemen am announced to speak
tonight on the Laws OF Disorder, ami
| think it Is about time to commence.
THE MAN WHO Found \ CART.
y
who was sure to get drunk when hc went
TO town, was one day returning home m
his cart in Il state OF intoXicatlon. His
cattle stopped on the way, and some one
who was passing, seeing the reason OF
the detention, untaStened the cattle from
the cart and started them toward, home.
Several hours at;crward the man, aroused
from his stupor, rubbed his eyes m'i
looked about. "Wcll," said he, ''@omc
one has lost a yoke Of cattle, or | have
found cart"
HOW TIE GENERAL AND HIS NEIGIIBOE
pOCToRED THEIR HORSES.
General A., Of Royaton, Vt, had a
sick horse, and was advised 10 give II Il
pint Of turpcntine, which he did, and a.
:, matter of course, lost his horse. y
neighbor some weeks afterwards, also
had sick horse and hurried over TO
learn what the general had given his
On reaching the house, he SAID, Gen
eral, what did you give your horse ~
a pint of turpentine." Without stop
ping to ascertain the effect, he started
for home, and administered the turpen
tine The horse died in few hours
afterward, and he then went back and
inquired of the general, 'What did the
turpentine do to your horse ~ ''killcd
it," was the reply. "What did 1t do to
yours ?'' said the general ''Oh it killed
mine too"
4 DINNER Is A DINNER.