The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-11-05
Short Paragraphs.


Anna Dickinson says that she cannot
bear an Indian baby. No. She goes for
the niger.
Buffers eye is like the hammer of a
musket; it will stand cooked till the dog
wears out
A gentleman in st. Louis, who has just
commenced divorce case, alleges that his
wife is in the habit of backing his eye
with the sugar-bowl. Sweets to the sweet.
"Do you consider lager beer intoxca-
tipgl"
"Vell, ash for dat, I CANT gay. l
trink feefty or seexty classes in day, end
it tOsh not hurt me, put don't know how
it would pc if man wash to make hog
of himself"
An African gentleman saw over gro
Gerry door the sign, "Sugar cured hams"
He entered the place and asked the
price. He solicited and obtained permis-
sion to smell shank. Having done this,
he abruptly turned to leave. "Don't you
want any of that ham ?" said the grocer.
"Well, no, boss'' was the reply der sign
reads sugar cured HAMS dat ar hams
sick yet; my advice to you is to change
de medicine"
Wife: "Charles dear, that we are mar
ried we must have no secrets; so help me
off with these Calves" Husband
groans, and wishes that he had found it
out little 500 ner.
A legal gentleman says the most troble-
some clients he ever had, were a young
lady who wanted to get married, married
lady who wanted a divorce, and an old
maid who did not know what she wanted
A Mormon elder was presented with
nine boys and five girls on the same NOR
ming. He would have made a good colo
mist in the early stages of our provisional
existence.
Here is good anecdote to wind up
with, which belongs to what may be call
ed orphan literature-that is, litera-
ture that has lost its parents by wandering
in the country press
\ young pOrsou of the Universalst faith
many years since, when the Simon pure
Universalism was preached, started west
ward to attend convention of his breth-
rem in the faith. He took the precaution
to carry vial of cayenne in his pocket to
sprinkle his food with as a preventive Of
fever and ague. The convention met
and at dinner a tall Hoosier observed the
parSon as he seasoned his meat, and ad-
dressed him thusly;
"Stranger, I'll thank you for leetle Of
that ere red salt, for Pm kind o'cur'ous to
try it,"
"Certainly, returned the parson; but
you will find it very powerful; be careful
how you use it,"
The Hoosier took the proffered vial, and
feeling himself proof against any quantity
of raw whiskey, thought that he could
stand the "red salt" with IMMUNITY, and
accordingly sprinkled junk of beef rath-
er beautifully with it, and forthwith intro
duced it into his capacious mouth.
1t soon began to take hold. He shut
his eyes, and his features began to writhe,
denoting very inharmonious condition
physically. Finally he could stand it no
longer. He opened his mouth and
screamed "Fireg'
"Take drink of cold water from the
Jug" said the parson.
"Will that put it out p asked the mar
tyr, suiting the action to the word. In a
short time the unfortunate man began to
recover, and turning to the parson, his
eyes yet swimming in water, exclaimed /:
STRANGER, you call yourself 'Versal-
list, believer"
81 do" mildly answered the parsou.
"Wal, l want to know if you think it
consistent with your belief to 60 about
with hell fire in your pockets ;"
81 say, mister, did you see dog come
by here that looked as is he were a year,
or year and a half, or two years old ;"
said a Yankee to countryman at the
ROADSIDE. -@
eyes,, said the countryman, thinking
himself quizzed. SHE passed about an
hour, or an hour and half, or two hours
ago, and is now mile, or q mile and
half, or two miles ahead; aud he had tail
about an inch, or an inch and a half, or
two inches long.