Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-09-02
Pen nnd Scissors.

Tor congress In the Third District OF Ohio.
"....Grunt kissed baby ut Council Bluffs.
Itis said the baby has been drunk ever
since.
"....Alaska already returns s5, 900 10 Rold
on account Of customs. Good for our new
acquisition"
"...The celebrated trottins horse, Dex.
ter, recently trotted mile in 2:l4, the fas..
est time on record.
"....A quack doctor advortises a "curc 70,
felons.' Cant he, somehow, apply hi,
plaster to Congrcss7
.."..Ac:ual experiment shows that Il doss
not injurc Georgia negro to 10 run over
by railroad train.
"..Bccausc you believe in rank Il doesn't
follow that you like it in butter, pies, and
some o,hcr eatsblcs.
......A man Of strict vera,iy, residing IN
Washington city, who was born blind, de.
clares on bis honor that he never saw Gran.
drunk. w.
.....A movement in favor Of conferrine
the right Of suffrage on young men between
eighteen and twenty ono has been started in
Boston.
..."A proposition is on foot to build
monument to Thad. Stevens out of moneys
donated from the children Of our common
schools.
.....The Democrats of Alabama have
chosen electors and are determined to vote
at the Presidential election. There is life
in the old land yet
......Senator Sumner says that Seymour
will come down like a stick" Few Door
fellows know better than Sumner how o
stick comes down.
"...A correspondent, whose salary is sl5
per week, wants to know if he can afford 10
get married. Not unless his wife is willing
to 60 nearly naked and foodless.
......Charles Drayton, Of Toronto who
weighed three hundred avoirdupois, som.
Manipulated out of a window at Niagara
Falls, and was picked up in sections.
......U, II. Myers, Of the firm of sineerly
e. Myers, Stase Printers, died at bis resi-.
dence in Harrisburg, on Friday night Inst.
His remains were taken to Pittsburg for in.
terment.
..".lf you want strange lady to speak
to you, tread on her dress. Nine chances
in ten she will enter in.o conversation that
will not only entertain your head but ,ingle
your ears.
......A white girl, walking with nseo
soldier, who was tanning her very gracefully
for negro, is announced as one Of the
beautiful sights witnessed in Goldsborough,
n. G., recently.
......Since trees have been planted in
Egypt they arc beginning to have rain. a
country will produce more food where one
fourth is covered with forest than if the
whole is cultivated.
1.-THE Democrats Of Iowa and Minno.
sofa talk seriously Of carrying their States
for Seymour and Blair. II the Radicals
can't carry these two States, what States
can they expect to get?
......The late Thaddeus Stevens leaves
five hundred dollars, the interest Of which
is to be devoted to the purpose Of planting
roses and cheerful flowers" every spring,
on the graves Of his mother and brother, at
Peacham, Vermont.
...."Greeley says: Never since Arnold's
treason have blacker clouds hung over US"
True, cir. 1t is the shadow Of aboltionism,
the pail Of death, which you have thrown
over the country, and which is soon to wrap
you and your miserable party in its folds.
1.-The pious RAIDS tell us that God gave
the negroes freedom. Very we'll; God
never does things by halves. IF he gave
them freedom, he will give them ability to
take care of themselves therefore the
Frecdmcn's Bureau is worse than fraud
......Thc reason Forney did no. attend the
funeral Of Thaddeus Stevens was because he
was buried in Lancaster, where repose the
remains Of James Buchanan, whose execu.
tors are calling in the moneys the illustrious
statesman loaned sundry Forneys, which
moneys have never been returned.
......It should be known to all persons that
to have plants in a close bedroom at night is
a practice detrimental to health. Even
plants not in flower, and without smell, in.
jure the air during the night. and in the ab.
sence Of the sun, by impregnating it with
nitrogen and carbonic scid gas. a'
......Thc Revolution" is really getting
improper. 1t asks, Have not women the
same right to have paramours that men
have to keep mis'resses And the query
is answered in a way that really would
make a man blush. But the ladies are
stronger minded.
......Gen. Sherman says that the outrages
perpetrated by the savages on the plains are
TOO horrible for detail. We wonder if they
are any worse than some Of the outrages
perpetratcd under the eyes Of Gems. Sher.
man and Sheridan on tho defenceless people
Of the South