The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-06-14
A. HEAD AND THE PARIS ExPosI-
TI0E.
For the Sunday Crescent

In 1867, Annie Domlnoes, was appointed,
along with 999 others, Q commissioner TO the
Paris Imposition. Inasmuch as the State ofLouis-
lana allowed Us to go over and carry her pro-
ducts and pay all expenses ourselves, we went
that is 2 or of us out Of the 999 Ny" commits
sion, was large enough to paper one side of
room, and was just covered with seals and rib.
bons of all colors and all nations. I paid clerk
in the State House several dollars extra to make
it "pooty." 1t was after reading thusly, as fol-
lows, viz. to wit, namely:
NEW ORLEANS, TERRITORY OF LOUISIANA,
March the LIST, 1867. I
An act 10 act out an act to wipe out another act
to mend an axe relative TO the axe of the Gentiles:
Know all men by these presents, That
Whereas, the prisoner at the bar, A. Head, Esq,
man and a brother, having, with malice afore-
thought, pTepeHe, and other weapons to the jury
unknown, tried repeatedly TO commit the unpar-
donable ofense of making joke, to cause people
TO laugh loud contrary to the peace of the Terri
tory of louisiana, and good order thereof; be IL
enacted, that the said Head be cut off from all
further ownership Of his slaves, and communea
ton, social or otherwise, with people of African
descent or other scent and that he be sent to the
Paris Disposition, there to remain until his
money is all gone, "a hours,) or until such time
as there shall be " bureau Veneered for the re-
lief and support of indignant white people.
And il is further ordered, that in consideration
Of the valuable service that the said Head will
render to this Territory Of louisiana by leaving
it, and also by representing the sOied interests
of said Territory at the Paris lnquisitiOn that he
be allowed to drdlo from the headquarters of said
Territory, as compensation, hand cart contain
ing his various writings, and his pill box full of
clothing, now in possession Of his washwoman
for board and one Banks paper collar.
And it is further enacted, and ordered 10 be
printed" that if the said Head shall return from
abroad in a condition of mind and morals bad
enough TO justify such procedure, he shall be
tn INfV 1avv -
reconstruction, or Of judgment-all the same.
The Imperial (Cafe) commission at Paris are
requested TO receive the bearer of this document,
and treat him and tie 500 other commissioners
from the Territory Of louisiana with such atten-
ton as they can get.
Signed, sealed delivered and laid under the
table with the bearer hereof in the presence of
A A.s H RSR''''' P. Leg Ks Z Arts,tan.
Mark Twain, mark.
don't know who this Peleg Artesian is, but
suppose he was some great public bore. Iput
my commission in a trunk and my clothes in
cigar box and started for Paris via the Pontchar.
train Railroad, where it takes two grown up men
to collect bits fare from each of the passengers
Passing through the ndolent and backward North
on my way, noticed that they was behind us
down here, for they could only afford one man to
do the same thing, where there was twice the
number of cars, and dollars to collect instead of
bits. This shows that things are different in States
where they amt like things in other States that
do not correspond. This is clear.
Arriving in that one-horse town. called New
York, "Dave " and l shipped for sea on a first
class tug boat called the Cunsrd. Before we
went, some of our kind friends in New Orleans
who felt an interest in Us and thought we should
be lonesome and would like to hear from home,
sent us bundle OF papers by express, on which
we paid something less than $40. When we got
aboard, I" Dave invited me to his staterOOm and
says: Now let's take quiet little glass and sit
down and have good time readin' the news from
home" We smiled, and then proceeded TO open
that bundle Of papers. Darn the fellers that
sent them papers o, the villains to the State and
traitors to the Republican party! Them unprin-
cped, ignorant, unchristian cusses had gone to
work and done up about 100 papers from home,
to be sure, but they was all Spanish, French and
Deutsche, and we couldn't read word of either
We didn't care, and we wasn't mad. and we don't
care now but I'm blessed II we laughed then
loud enough so anybody would know anything
about it but us. The idea of playing a trick like
that on 2 commissioners from the province of
louisiana to the great Worlds Fare / set out
to take a reef in my commission and come back
and send that fellah to the "Stai: Convention"
the humbugger.
pa SHY IOr InIs markell
Well, we arrived, in due time in England a
small island, lying in the British Channel and in
Dablted partially by people called Fenians; an
agricultural people engaged chiefly in raising
thunder with the British government In Eng,
lsnd we stopped at the inn known as the Lamb
and the Lark" We used to 20 on a lark at might
and felt sheepish next day. England has a his.
tory Of its own and might be quite a country If il
wasn't so far from Boston, 1.-THE hub of the uni
verse; The principal products of England are
peer, beer and beggars. They begged of ma in
our rooms. at table, when we went 10 walk and
when we went to drive but being wealthy men
we dldn' care for money; of course not we had
DEAD loads OF it; but we carried over more than
we brought back.
3 We went to London and saw Mr.. West Minister'S
Abpy, the Tower where they used to indulge in
The cheerful recreation of cutting off the heads
OF SIGH folks as Lady Jane Gray and Mary Queen
OF Scorch, and SIGH. We carried our omhrilas
with Us when we went out doors. for when Il
didn't rain i logged enough to wet YOU through.
We raVeled round London with the Prints of
Whales and them fellers while we was there.
AT las we crossed the British Channel in a dug
out and went to Paris. When we got there. we
TOOK our alligators and horned frogs right down
10 Eugene, and she asked Us TO drink. We told
1er that as shampsin was expensive for an eyery-
Gay erlnk we'd take a little Louisiana rum, or
some whisky on which the tax had been maid
You must know that we are so "loilu that we |
never drink anythiDg-uDlass the tax has been |
paid onto it. Well, after taking a drink. and |
kissing the maids Of honor for their mother. we |
I D IeaVe OF Mrs, Napoleon, and went to the |
Paris Disposition, where we found Edward build |
ng q house. He called it the Louisiana cottqpe |
de SAID 1t was 70 put the products of Louisiana |
u but one OF the principal products of this State
wasn't exhibited at all, and that's Miss Skeeter
oar We could get gold NEEDLE on Miss Skee.
ers IN this State this year. They're an entire
uccess whether the rest Of the crops come in well
n not. - "
After years work. for which be paid himself
rs salary every month right out of his own
ocket, Edward got his NEEDLES from Nap. and we
III come back. Nap. gave me NEEDLE for good
behavior. 50 Dave " got one for innocence. When
We got back we was here; they called US car.
ct haggers." But no matter; if we can't get
atlsisG tlon any other way we will appeal to the
eneTal Of our armies.
we are gong TO have a Paris Exhibition of our
Wh, now; we commissioners are going 70 have a
nance 20 show our prizes and our good Clothes
re shall form on the street on Monday evening.
or right resting on the state Convention ROuse
% our LETT on Stureken's lager beer wagon.
.e shall all be dressed in white en-
lematical OF innocence and summer, and car.
'ing the hsgs Of all nations, shall march to the
Ill be carried out:
- 49,, Taking the Test Oath.