, 1868-01-24
How a Dry Joker was Joked.

pass before our mental YisioaI Old recOllections
come croWding upon us, and we see an array of
the "sold" pass before our mind's eye, in the
shape Of seekers or the mythical Frank Nc
Laughlin, the victims Of croton oil and jalap,
and for tae administration Of which no medical
reason existed, aud long line Of those who have
been humbugged generally, without any specific
species of sell. Gale was the prince of dry Jos
kers; he lived, moved and had his being, through
diurnal suecession of sells; Indeed his lite was
one great se1, composed Of conglomeration of
the in6niteslaal sells Of ffty years. duration.
Now Milky, Nathan Nixby, was one Of Gales
truest and Gtaunehest business aequaintanees,
though he had never been introduced iuto the
domestic circle made glad by the portly presence
Of Mrs. Gale, who was somewhat addicted to
Jealousy. The reason for this lack of acquaint.
anee WAS that she lived secluded life in one OF
the little villages on Long Island, and Nat Nixby
lived in our babel Of New York. Well, one day
Gale was hard pushed for an object upon which
to inhct q practical joke, and in his dilemma
selected his friend Nat his victim.
The manner in which Nat was sold do not
choose to particularly describe, suffice it to say
that, under the play of Gales exuberent fancy,
Nat made journey to albany, and insisted that
. lady there had sent an amatory epistle which
be produced. The lady became indignant, call
ed in the aid of her husband, who literally skin
ned Mr.. Nat Nixby, who thereafter returned to
Gotham with q very adult hea in his auricular
apparatus. The event happened in the early
spring time, and on beautiful day, about a
week after Mats return from Albany, be met
Gale at Sherwood's The sell was disclosed by
Gale, and q hearty laugh was had over Mats
mishap, and at his still bruised features, in which
be joined but those present noticed the fact that
be didn't laugh an inch below his chin in truth,
it was generally believed that Mats mirth was
entirely simulated.
snow, old fellowp said Gale, "you don't
hold any malice, do your
"Not a bit," answered Nat, "and in token Of
amity, let us take a smile all around" Which
thing they did in the usual way.
chow did you come to town W asked nat.
81 drove up in a light wagon" replied Gale.
"And when will you return homer
"About SIX o'clock this evening" responded
Gale.
Nat thereupon pleaded an engagement, and
LETT but as soon as he was out of eye.shot Of
his joker friend, repaired to Gray's stable, in
Warren street, where he hired fast horse and
light vehicle, and with which be started, through
bye-street, for the residence of his friend Gale,
on Long Island.
On arriving, he left his horse and wagon at
public house, and proceeded to the aforesaid
residence, where be enquired Of the servant ii
Meeks was at home. On being answered as he
knew be would be, in the negative, be said:
"This is unfortunate. / wanted to pay him
some money. If l could see Mrs. Aeeks it would
do as welli she could give me receipt in the
name of her husband"
Mrs. NJ. was frugal aud industrious, and al,
ways attentive to her husbands interest. As
the last remark fell from Nat, a 6ue looking mat
roo called from up the stairs, to ''show the gen
tleman i1to the parlor," where she followed in
few minutes. Nat bowed and said
81 desired to see Mr. Meeks, madam"
avery WE'LL" replied she, al am Mrs. Meeks ~
"Pardon me, madam, said Nat, with doubt,
L. Al OF
some importance-the payment of money; and
you are not the lady Mr. Meeks introduced me to
as bis wife last winter ~
"Not the lady2 whatl" shrieked she, "do
you mean to tell me that
81 simply state, said Nat, with an icy imper,
turbility, "that Mr.. Meeks last winter, in Broad
way, near Leonard street, introduced me to
not the lady"
"Indeedl'' exclaimed Mrs. Meeks, her eyes
flashing FIRE show old was she p
"Well, about twenty-f
"Twenty- Eve and how was she dressed?
"She wore her hair in rngets, had diamond
earrings -"
diamond ear-ringsP
"a heavy silk velvet dress, very large gold
bracelets, magnificent watch and chain.
"Well, 90 GU ;" she said spitefully.
"Silk velvet hat trimmed WITH magnificent
lace, and muff and boa"
uBoa ~ wrenched out the now thoroughly
;ra:c dame you'd better bore your waJ out of
this house, sir, mighty quick, or else somebody
will have u head-ach No, sir, am not Mrs.
Meeks, and l want you to leave"
'Oh, certainly" said Nat, who saw the tall
est kind of squall brewing; and who had reaN
son to fear that the sturdy dame might launch
at his head a couckshell or some other of the
heavy ornaments which adorned the mantel.
Nat therefore beat retreat from the premises,
and placed himself behind stone fence from
which be could command view of the Brook
lyn turnpike. He did not wait long before he
saw the amiabls Gale driving down the road all
unconscious of the ambush of Nat. The ex-
| pressou upon Gales face was one OF the great
est amiabiity, and exempli6ed that he was at
peace with call the world and the rest .ot man.
kind"
In brief space of time Gales steed was given
into the charge Of stable boy, and unconscious
and happy he entered his domicil and shut the
door. The moment he entered, an attentive ear
mirhthave detected the sound of q voice by no
means mellow or expressive of endearmenti aud
| an instant after Gale hurriedly came through
| the door with amazement on his front ana
mop in his rear, the'wrong end OF wnlcn was
under the direct and personal suPerintendence
| of a lady who was very redin the face, and very
strongly resembled Mrs. Meeks. The battle had
Commented in the Passage-way. Gales castor,
| which shone in the rays of the setting sun as he
drove down the road, was very much bruised
and out of shape, indeed it was driven far down
over Gales amiable phisiognomy.
HWhat in thunders outP yelled Gale.
HTweuty>fve years oldP' shrieked the infuri"
ated dame, and bang, Gale caught the mep over
his shoulders-"Corkscrew ringletsl' and punk
he got it in the back, with all the strength which
nature and anger had given the enrAged lady
"D-n it, don't do thatr'
But it was no use, he had to take it.
uDiamoud ear ringsp, punk. "Silk velvet
dressl" bang. "Gold braceletsP slumPl
'Murderp roared Gale.
Watch and chainl' she shrieksd, and bin be
took it over the head.
'Mulf 7 bangl slumpl 'Boar bang, bang, and
down went Gale with the yell of 'murderl
Now fell the blows thick and fast uPon the
head. back and face of the PROSTATE joker; while
the lady again rehearsed the catalogue OF the
| wearing apparel and jewels of the other Mrs.
Meeks timing the utterance ofthe name OF each
article with a blow upon her PROSTATE, writing
and bleeding lord.
But all things must have an end. The violent
- uuhi