The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-12-17
Where the Laugh Cones In.

mian of another. swell, yes" was the
answer, "it'S clean for brown, but it's most
laundering dirty for white"
| The editor of French paper, in speak,
ing OF cemetery near Lyons, says that
M. Goscoine had the pleasure Of being
the first individual who was buried in this
delightful retreat"
A little fellow was eating some bread
and milk, when he turned round to his
mother, and said, "Oh mother, Pm full of
glory! There was a sunbeam on my
spoon, and | swallowed it,
Edmund Burke the Irish orator was tell
ing Garrick one day at Hampton, that all
bitter things were hot. "Tndeed," said
Garrick, "what do you think, Mr.. Burke,
OF bitter cold weather :"
A convict wrote letter to his brother,
a serious letter, without an attempt at Il
joke, which, however, concluded thus: 81
must leave off now; my feet are 50 cold l
cannot hold my pen"
At coIorcd party in New York, Sam
bo asked Dinah if he might help her to
some Of the breast. "Now, aint you
'shamed, Sambo, to say breast before de
ladiesl I'll take a piece of de turkey
bosom"
AS a fop was riding a fine horse in the
park, young lady was evidently admir-
ing the animal, when he stopped and i'm
pudcntIy asked, care you admiring me,
miss ." "No," was the ready reply. 81
was admiring the horse, not the donkey"
A boy having been told that reptile
is san animal that crcops," on being ask
ed to name one on examination day,
promptly and triumphantly replied, Il
baby"
"Whore was I, ma % said an urchin to
his mother, as he stood gazing at his drum
ken and prostrate father. "Whero was
when you married pal Why ddn't YOU
take me along? could have picked out
Il better man than him !"
An English letter writer says of a
boarding Schoo! festivity: "On one side
of the hall was one happy gentleman in
Il cluster of twenty-five young ladies, like
a black beetle in boquet."
\ subscription paper for some religious
object was handed to Jealous church
member, when lie remarked, "Wcll, can
give five dollars and not feel it," "Then,"
said the solicitor, "givo ten and feel it,"
A simple epitaph in St. Pancras church.
yard is touchngly commemorative Of the
gluttony of husband and the grief of his
widow:
| "Fliza sNrrowinS renrs this marble slab,
To her dear John, who del Of eating crab"
A countryman went into drug store a
few days since, and asked to be served
with two pounds of opium. So large IL
quantity excited the suspicion of the drug
gist, and he inquired what it was to be
used for. The verdant replied, to stop
cracks in his cart wheels. He was adyis-
ed to get some oakum.
There is good story of Fronchman
who was great practical joker all his life,
and even played trick after he had lost
the power of enjoying it. He left four
large candles to be carried at his funeral,
and they had not been burning fifteen
minutes before they went off as fireworks.
A well-known lawyer in Boston had a
horse that always stopped and refused to
cross the mill-dam bridge leading out of
the city. No whipping, no urging, would
induce him to cross without stopping. So
he advertised him-''to be sold, for no
other reason than that the owner wants to
90 out Of town."
A gentleman who owns a country seat
nearly lost his wife, who fell into river
which flows through his estate. He an
nounced the narrow escape to his friends,
expecting their congratulations. One of
them, an old bachelor, wrote. "T always
told you that river was too shallow"
a celebrated French preacher, in SER
nor upon the duty of wives, said, 81 see
in this congregation a woman who has
been guilty of disobedience to her hus-
band, and in order to point her out I will
fling nv breviary at her head" lie lift
ed his book, and instantly every female
head ducked.
DR.. Barton, being in company with DR..
Nash, who had just printed two heavy fo-
lios on the antiquities of Worcestershire,
remarked that the publication was def
cient in several respects, adding, ''Pray,
doctor, are you not justice of the
peace? 7" 81 am" replied Nash. "Then,"
said Barton, 81 advise you to send your
work to the house of CORE ction.'
A certain registrar in a certain town is
unfortunately very deaf. One day lately
woman went to register the birth of her
child, and had to answer the usual ques-
tions To the one-~Were Won nresent