The Waynesburg Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 1867-18??, 1868-06-17

at,istellantuus Sttn.s.


THE most startling Essay on Mana wo-
mans attempt to marry him.
The fish in Lake Chaubungognugam'
are said to chokei in trying to tell where they
live.
OSE paper has its columns headed-For
President U. S. Grant of Appomattox for
Vice President Schuyler Cofax of the House.
ADAM had great advantage in one respect,
over every other husband known to earth
his wife couldn't threaten to go and live with
her mother
An old lady says that two things which were
very common in her youth have gone entirely
out of fashion nowadays sunshine and sill
YER money.
| A JooosE- Arkansian Ilayfuly says that 1t is
not uncommon in that State to see men Nth
three ears each one on each side Of the head
and third between the teeth.
'1r seems as though Id never get square
with that are grand jury" remarked o discon-
solate rogue; "they never gets together with
out brngn' little bill agin me-"
AN incorrigible loafer, being taken to task
for his laziness, replied, 81 tell you, gentle
men, you are mistaken, have not a lazy bone
in my body, but the fact is /, ,oas born tiredl"
''TnERE is one kind o. ship always steer
clear Of" said an old bachelor sea-captain,
'aud that's courtship, cause on that ship
there's always t,oo mates and no captain"
When you see young man and woman
walking down the street, leaning against each
other like a pair of badly matched oxen, It is
pretty good sign that they are bent on con-
solicitation.
'THE greatest source Of weakness to every
nation under Heaven" said philosopher,
.'comes from the fact that Its women have 90
little to do and 50 much to say" That man
was donkey.
WHEN Marshal Narveaz, the bloodthi, sty
Spanard, was on his death bed, he was ad-
yised by his confessor to forgive oil his enc
mics. II have none" replied 'the marshal !
~ had them oil shot long ago"
CARE you alarmed at the approach of the
King of Terrors!" asked "a man of dying
neighbor. "No," was the emphatic reply
''no; I've lived six-and- thirty years with the
Queen of Terrors, and the King can't bt
worse'n she, I'll be bound"
THRER TROUBLESOME CLIEsrs.-Rufus Cho-
ate used to say that the three most trouble
some clients he ever had, were young lady
that wanted to get married, married woman
that wanted divorce, and an old maid tina
didn't know what she wanted.
A COUNTRY woman entering an eating -houst
where several show bills were posted, ant
supposing them to be announcements of wha
the establishment had to eat, said, on being
asked what she would have for dinner, I'll
l. take roast beef and few menageries."
A PROFESSOR in the Dublin. University ha
lately discovered that Homer's name was orig
inally O'Mcagher, which became abbreviated
y, into OMer, which was enormously pronounc
" ed HOMER by the English cockneys ant
finally came to be written Homer.
"a "Do YoU say your prayers regularly every
It night and morning2" asked sympathetic 10
v dy of a little boot black, to whom she had jus
N given trille. 81 scz 'em at night, mum bu
N any smart boy can take care of hssey in th'
10 day time" was the little rogue's reply.
A SOLDIER of the army has claimed
s young lady teacher of q New York school a
at his wife, to whom he was married in 1864
which marriage was kept secret until tn
D soldier was discharged. Now she disavow
70 him, says she was never married to anybody
or and sues him for SANDER.
lg "Now, girls" said Aunt Keren .Hapuch
ie 'just you mind, and when you 60 shoppin,
and find what you want, ard it's suitable
Y and cheap, and can't be got for less anywhere
10 else, and you feel inclined to take it, just d
Ill it, and 60 long about your business, an,
lg don't stand Chaffern with the clerks all day.
os In sending to this country for recruits 70
al his army, it is hoped that the Pope is animate
by no particular hostility to the Democrats
party. BE that as it may, should he success
in enlistiug say fifty or hundred thousan
men in New York, Brooklyn and "tho Jer
seys," he would seriously impair the Demo
cratic prospects. We expect to see the part
VII protest against the recruiting scheme set Of
+, foot from Rome - Commercial
GRANT ON NORTHERN CoppERugAps.-Ge
ur Grant said in our hearing, not long ago
D. The rebels we whipped, as it was our dut
ia to do they fought us bravely. and 1 for on
have no spite against them If they behav
NJ themselves, shall think well OF them. Bu
lv the Copperheads and peace men of the Mort
the men who, during the war, reviled tn
ey soldiers. encouraged the enemy, and did the
90 utmost to stop supplies and reinforcements I
nd our boys in front-such men can't forgive
will not forget them, nor have anything I
NJ do with them."--N Y Ersainy Post.
no TIE Confederate General, W. @. Wicl
gh man, who rose to high military distinctio
under Lee, has taken the stump for Graz
re and Coltax in Virginia. In an address to u
or people of Hanover county, on Monday,
,e, indorscd the Chicago nominations In Il
as warmest terms, announced himself an ou
and-out Republican, and asserted that Il
of blacks were not only entitled TO suffrage, bl
II that it was essential for their protection. Ge,
n Wickman's course will have marked Unfit
ence upon many Of the cx Confederates, pa
10 ticularly the soldiers Of his old division.
DIV
IN ANECDOTE OF GENERAL GRANT.
During tue Petersburg campaign of 1864