St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1868-04-10
Il BrOtHer's Confession.

/ Hltuc thell most people on WnOm clr-
cumstance> had acted as strongly as they
/ have on me. would be what [ am, no
| better and 10 worse. Poverty and in
| justice, | presume. are calculated to warp
even naturally generous mind. Not
| that ! lay claim to have ever had that,
or care to dispute it with the hypocrites
/ who do lav claim to it. Some people
are fortunate enough to be able to dis
Scmble their natural badness-to conceal
| their passions, faults, or vices, as the
case may be. under mask which OBJ
/ tiins credit with the world, | am not so
fortunate. Perhaps l ought to say l
have seldom tried, do not habitually try.
80 to conceal mine. When | hate. |
hate. Not but that | can use craft if
occasion requires it, tor | can scheme
with the best ui them but then it is
with some settled design, to attain some
fixed object. TO perfect some revenge
| this reached, | am clad to resume my
proper character. If | stoop TO deceit, it
Is from no love of deceit il affect yir-
tue, it Is from no love OF virtue. OF this
disposition | make no boast, and offer no
palliation it is Il plain Statement. OF
what am-ot what, as said before,
circumstances have conspired to make
me.
There may have been something in the
event preceding my birth, which formed
the basis OF the character of which |
speak. | give It for what it is worth
About three months before | was born.
my tather-a gymnast i'll a travelling
circuS-ir!l during one OF his periorman-
ce- on the trapeZe. and was killed on the
spot. Al that tune his family consisted
OF his wife, herself proficient in what
We call i'll the playbIls the ''h.h style. -
and a son of twelve years. my brother
Andrew. The shock had such an effect
en- my mother that she never wholly re
covered it. After an illness. ut the end
OF which | was born, her mind became
rnierbled. She did not grow actually
insane, but mentally weak. and she could
No; be persuaded after that to mount Il
horse. She took to needle work, and be
came an adept III it, after II fashion at
!ull events She managed to earn Il few
,hiliiu4s Il week III making mp properties
tor Professional people, alude to ac-
tors, hor~rGilcrs and the Ike. My BROTH
cr Andrew followed the calling TO which
nv father had brought him up, but in a
modified form. Our mother would not
t n i,''....;''-- ',o r,"..iaa- ..'. ..i
Il evmm#-t, at least OF Il uaptzi>t. lie
cuuiiaed himself to what is known aS
around tumbling, and grew clever in it,
in hi- way. In this, and similar ttat>
of strength and dextcrity, lie was my i'll
-tructor and i'll course of time | became
hi~ equal, if not his superior.
Wien was about sixteen years of aye,
anl my brother clght-and-twenty. our
mo,!.cr died. During the last few years
her intellect had grown rapidly weaker,
bat il Frightened sufficiently before hcl
death tor her TO recommend me to An
. ,rcws care. | did not thank her tol
that. tur | had never liked my brother,
who was always much too dUmincerin-
IN hi, treatment OF me, relying on hI,
seniority; besides, by this time L felt
could make my own way III tine world
= | WAS hardy, muscular, dcXterous, Will
:; cool hcad, except when excited by pas
sion or drink, and an untailing nerve
Not. perhaps, So sinrwy as Andrew,
4, WAS vet his match at any feat rcqurin.
t activity and endurance. Thus, my
mothers charge awakened little rcspon>'
}, IN lny mind, though Andrew accepted ii
and promised to respect it so lon1 as W.
should keep together. This, | determin
cl. should hot be very long.
After my mothers death business tcl
oil in our inr The circus with whlci
we had been some time travelling brok
K, up, al,I the company dispersed. We ac
ccpted temporary engagements through
out the provinces, and during these los
no opportunity OF secretly endcavoring Il
engage myself apart from Andrew, bu
l, all to 10 purpose. We were known Il
40 the Brother. t.ustachio, Il name judge
professionally more convenient than on
,. nvu-that of Wilson. The little none
and reputation that we managed to ac
quirc We're due to our partnership; sing
X. Inanauers would have nothing to sa
10 u>-ul at least to me. The expcri
rntc that was necessary to AndreN
and hc to me did not tend to dimnlo
my dislike of him-a dislike daily height
cncd by his lmperlousncss OF manner
- Once. after some sharp words had pa>sc
between us, he reminded me arrogant
thut Ac occupied the position OF a i;rlhc
7 towards me, both by years, experience
and our mothers charge, and that :
lou1 as VIC remained together he wOul
. make me feel his authority, l hated I'M
;. ,lcadlastly from that day.
lie never lost chance OF airing VIII;
he was pleased to call his superiorit
over me He ordered me about, and h
IS tone was that of one who claimed obed
encc. He patroniSed me before tie Al
G$ dience when they applauded; he spok
ID OF me slightingIy, or with an insultir
cncouragemcnt, III the presence OF OF
, fellow professionals. "Oh, Jem, 1e
u .Jcm Is a good lad, and will make il
way if Ire minds what he's about bl
he's Il sad temper, has ,Iem. May
he'll oct over that when he's older, ar
has seen as much of the world and
hard work as | have" This and sin
liar speeches were gall and wormwo(
ri to me. who had had quite as much exp
rience and was OF as great account III OF
line as my conceitcd brother.
We had driftcd to and fro throuGho
the country, and had experienced MAJ
ted shifts. and various lucl-varying only
degrees of badness-when chance brouG
t. Us into connection with an agent OF til
atrical business in London. This age
was in communication with good MAJ