The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-04-15


and who be ye p said cracked voice
Phillips stepped out, and stood plainly re
vealed by a light of dim moon
| Good gracious, massey !" cried the old wo
man, sits got scalloped petticoat on
Land didn't think they wasted their time
on such vanities as they are !"
cts DYING exclaimed Phillips, ::..eor.e
down quick" ".
"Not ! amt so green as to trust my old
body to supernatural ghost!" and down
vent the window With bang. Phillips
pounded at the door until he Was tired, and
then made tracks for home.
DR.. Gray had just arrived, and Mrs. Phil
lips was preparing to 90 into Mysteries as soon
as she heard his opinion. Baby was much
worse it not only sucked its thumbs, but
wiggled its toes. It could not continue long.
The doctor, with grave face, entered the
sick room Biddy rubhed her mistress
with camphor Mr.. Phillips stood by, wip-
ing his eyes with the drapery Of the scant
attire.
"Oh. doctor! doctor will it die? Only
save it, doctor, and you may take all l have y
cried Mrs Phillips. wringing her hands
''Pll get down on my knees and thank you
forever"
Keep your sitting, marin keep your sit
ting" said the doctor, taking large Eiaeh
of snuff
Don't keep me in suspense Only see its
precious little arm What is it? For the
love of heaven tell me-let me know the
Earstl'
@Well, marin, if l speak out, YOU promise
not to blame me ?" said the doctor, gravely,
.'No, no."
"Marm," said he, with his long face still
more fearfully e1onged, ''it is my opinion, as
man and a physician, that the child has
been bitten by four bed-bugs, or else has
been bitten in four places by one insect Of
that description"
pr. Gray" cried the father, 80 Joy mean
to insult us z"
"By no means, sir repeat it"
emo, you don'tv' yelled Mrs. P. It's
enough to insinuate that have bed-bugs, to
say nothing of the libel on that little angel
cherub Get out of this house this instant
you mean, cheating, insulting old vagabond p
and Selling the butter-lade from the table,
where Biddy had laid it; full Of hot pepper,
she flung it at him. The doctor knew enough
about woman to realize that in fight lay safe
ty, and with a hasty bow he backed off the
atep and started for his gig. The gfound
was inclined and quite icy. His heels few
up his head went down, and his whole body
spun down the hill like steel shod cutter
Mrs. P, nothing daunted, rushed after him.
and shared the same fate The two brought
up together at the foet of the hill in water
trough; but no words Of sympathy we're ex-
changed. The doctor got up as quick as he
could and galloped home, and Mrs. ?. follow
ed his example.
TIE baby lived and thsoYe. As il grey
older, its dictatorship became more and more
absolute. Phillips was down on all fours for
the greater part Of his time, that the baby
might ride on his back and Mrs. Phillips
went without crinoline, and left her arms bare
the coolest weather, because the steel spring
and her dress sleeve hurt the baby
Baby made complete wreck of all the
crockery in the pounded it 9Th
hammer; he kicked his heels through the
looking glasses and tore the inwards out of
pas gold watch, unmolested It pleased the
dreary weary seary baby, his mother said
the little nifty sugar plpmmy baby
One day, when the wonderful baby was
about year OLD, the village inhabitants were
startled at the disheveled apparation of Mrs
Phillips, wearing wild expression of coun
tenance, hurryiug at frantic rate to the join
er's shop, where her husband worked and
instantly re appeared followed by Phillips at
a dog trot
Old Squire Smith saw them, and being-a
man who lived iii constant dread of fire, be
thought it must be the residence OF Mr. Phil
lips was in flames The old gentleman was
perfectly insane on the subject of conhagra-
ton, and at the top of his lungs raised the
cry
"Fire fire fire p
"Whcre ?" cried score Of voices
"Chares Phillips house, said the Squire.
The fire company gathered, got out the
engine, and ran with speed to the fatal house.
But to their supreme astonishment, they did
net SO msqh as sIseIl snrff of smoke in the
region
The head fireman, who was something of
a wag, knocked at the door. Mrs. Phillips
appeared, absolutely radiant.
lis this the house, allow me to inquire
marin, that we expected to squirt On p said
the fireman,
Il do not understand you" said Mrs. P;
but the baby has walked two steps-two steps
on his own feet =
sold, by Jupiter" cried the fireman,
'tand now, boys, here's three times three to
the baby that's walked two steps! Hearty,
my men"
And they gave three cheers-drank a bar
rel Of cider Thich Mr.. Phillips rolled out,
and then returned home