The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1868-05-26
Impeachment and Fleas.

nSnt 10 yVuleeu. teH you hSaln, mos
decidedly, that / soill not, come what may
live in this house another year; and yol
know that my word is as good as N,
bond" ea3 aal
4Just aboutl'' growled the henpecke,
husband, with a slightly sarcastic laugh
and without the least attempt at contra
diction leisurely broke another egg int,
his cup, spread another muffin, and un
folded his morning paper. M .
"For mercy's sake! I wonder if al
men are as aggravating as you are, Per
kins? just wonderl Now you are per
fectly aware that it is high time this mo
wing matter was settled. Here it is th,
middle Of April, and not step has beel
taken so far"
"The Chief Justice favored the admis
sion of the question; but after a length,
debate, his decision was overruled by I;
majority of three" Mr.. Perkins read
aloud, between his mouthfuls of egg ani
coffee.
"Mrs. Perkins, this impeachment bust
ness has resolved itself into a perfec,
farce; and if this rule of evidence is ad.
hered to, the President will be virtually
excluded from offering any defense at all
It's monstrousl" =
"What do you think I care about poll.
tics, Perkins? Women have no business
with subjects; | know my place too well
to ever venture there. The only thing
under the sun that worries me now is mo.
wing: and we must come to some under,
standing before you 60 down town this
morning. And, in the FIRST place, I wish
you to inform me in what portion Of the
city you prefer to live.''
"zhis portion" replied Perkins, with
out lifting his eyes from the paper.
"The Presidents counsel, despairing
Of influencing the temper of the Senate,
declined to ask any further questions, ,and
Gen. Sherman RETIRED" continued the
gentleman.
'Scandalousl Such proceedings as
these will make us the laughing stock Of
the whole world. Good heavensI have
justice and decency both fed2"
And Mr.. Perkins, with grand flourish
of his left band, evidently intended fol
Benjamin B., the hero Of Dutch Gap
and New Orleans, tipped over his third
cup of coffee, leaving . large yellow stain
upon Mrs. Perkins immaculate damask
-tablecloth. g t -
aNow, Perkins! see what you have done
IF you would ever work yourself into
such passion about anything that inter.
ests me, I shouldn't mind SO much; bul
this is too provoking for human enGur.
ance, ~and Mrs. P. rang for towels to pre-
vent damage to the carpet.
81 would really like to know, sir, if you
have heard one word Of what I have beer
saying to your Have you the slightes
idea Of the nature Of my conversations
VIZ you lay that paper one side, and
talk to me in the mannerI have the right
as your wife, to expect?n 4
aCertainly Mrs. Perkins. But, really
I cannot help thinking how perfectly
unjust is this 'usurping' charge. jus,
look at It'll Here is Sherman, second in
army command, and undoubtedly first il
public confidence. He was the Presidents
first choice for Stanton's successor; and
the condemnation of President johnson
win be q virtual condemnation Of the
greatest Of our military chieftains.'' +
Perkins passed his cup for just one
more swallow Of the fragrant Mocha
81 will leave you this paper, wife,. to
look over; It'll extremely interesting.
Mrs. Perkins drew uph her portly figure
with great dignity. 5ss $3.50 lssa ssial
, aI have no time, sir, to attend to Wash.
ington balderdash; and don't care three
straws whether they impeach the Presi-
dent or not. 4
aThat remark shows your deplorable
Ignorance of national affairs. President
johnson is already impeached. You mean
to say that you do not care three straWs
whether the President is removed or no. :
aYou're q fool, Perkinsl ] mean te
say this: we have got to nsoue. Doyou
realize that such is the case?"
{ sNo, Mrs. Perkins; 80 far I've failed
to. But; won't you please brush, me Of
o bit? But really looking at his watch
TsI should have been of fifteen minute:
ago! But this terrible blundering al
Washington causes fellow to forget,
"His own wife and family-that's wha,
it does!" g { rs 2 & sstss-
And poor Mrs. p. burst into a hyster
ical fit Of sobbing, sss .
"Wbewl What is the trouble now
Women are curious creatures, remarked
Mr.. Perkins, contemplatively and philo
sophically. ga fountain of tears alwayl
ready to squirt at moments notice
What the is the matter2'
A few spasmodic heavings of the full
chest, and the gentleman caught tn,
words: -. { ~ $ g
aMove-moviDg--talked the Who'll
morning-almost exhausted-I wish ]
was dead" etc. ~ sssy a s:5
.Well, if you cannot stop crying lon
enough to inform me of the cause of you
tears, must be going.
I Mrs. Peakins wiped the briny drop
from her cheeks, braced, her fat baol
against the dining-room door, and wit
very little, if any, grief apparent upol
her ruddy features, exclaimed: 2
s'Not one inch out Of this house, Per
kins, do you stir until you have told N
where shall 60 to look for place 70
your poor children to live"
'Poor children. my dearl Do you al
lude to flesh, Mrs. Perkins2p =
And the aggravating creature laughe
heartily as the plump figures of his We
fed, well-cared for darlings passed befor
his minds eye. aiip}aI 5se =