The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-09-04
dIrif attS Dutitur.

She had not died to. day.
Writ atS Dutttur.
- The jaws ofdeath-dying speech
es.
- Ices in vogue among poor people
-Sacrit-ices.
Never confide secrets to your rel
atives-B Blood will tell.
- When are skipping lambs like Ii
brary volumes9 When they are bound
In sheep.
- Taxidermy for parents-If you
Want to preserve your children do not |
stuff them.
--Quilp thinks the November cleo
ton will be considereda FLAG rant pro-
ceedng.
- The Chigogans encourage races |
between milk-wagons, and call them |
aquatic sports.
- Marriage makes man and wo-
man one but the trouble is to tell |
which of them is the one.
The worlds opinion-A mean
man is person with small income
who lives within 1t.
- Long words, like long dresses,
frequei thy hide something wrong about
the understanding.
- Ii bark is used in tanning, what
is the commercial value of the bark of
q tan terrier.
If the best mans faults were
written on his forehead, it would make
him pull his hat over his eyes.
- A Connecticut editor gives an ac-
count of q man who blew out his brains
after bidding his wife goodbye with a
shot gum"
public "that he has a beautiful cottage
for sale containing ten rooms and an
acre of land
- Look at your own bad passions
and you need not go into society to
know mankind-for you have seen the
world.
- A dandy getting measured for
pair OF boots observed, snake them
cover the calf" "Heavens exclaimed
the shoemaker surveying his customer,
Il have not got leather enough"
- The funniest incident that has
lately TRANSFERRED, is the case of a doting
mother who being satisfied that her
Ohtiu thCitbCu a iloSSiuf, al 81 litu hlut
placed under the influence of chloro-
form.
- A Connecticut paper says there
are SO many good people in that State
who can see the iniquity OF raising to-
bacco at eight cents pound, who can
discover nothing wrong in it at all when
1t is seventy-five cents pound.
- girl in Boston who had been
Il hxvE o,- do, Al; .
of yeast. On being asked why she did
it, she remarked that her spirits were so
depressed that she wanted something
to make them rise.
A child instructed in a Sabbath
School, on being asked by his teacher
X ne could mention place where God
was not, made the following beautiful
and unexpected reply-'Not in the
thoughts of the wicked"
- A man lately made application
fo- insurance on building situated in
Village where there wasno fir engine
He was asked "What are the facili-
ties in your village for distinguishing a
fire?" NWell, it rains sometimes" he re-
piled, with great simplicity.
a suit was brought in Yuba coun-
ty, California, for the recovery Of seven
teen dollars won by man holding four
jacks. The Court "let herself loose"
by stating chat while it would punish
the party holding the jacks, it lad no
projection for the man who would be
tbluffed," with fourth his hand That
such man should not only lose his
seventeen dollar spot" but receive the
jeers of every good poker playerin Yu-
ba county.
-" 81 say, Mr.. Pilot are you going
to start soon ?n said a nervous traveller
OH steamboat lying-to during a tog.
GAS soon as the fog clears up, replied
the captain,
swell, it's starlight now overhead"
said the man,
"Oh, yes! But We are not going
that way"
"Lame," sighed Mrs. Partington
There have been suffering the bigl-
mics of death for three mortal weeks
First was seized with bleeding phre-
nology in the left hemisphere of the
brain. which was exceed b. a stoppage
of tho left yentilator of the heart. This
gave me an inflammation in the boraX,
aud now am sick with the chioroform
morbus. There is no blessing like |
health particularly vhen You are SICK"
"A Yankee preacher on predes-
tination, spoke as follows: "Let us for
arguments sake, grant chat /, the Rev.
Elder Sprightly, am foreordained to
be drowned in the river at..Smith's fer
nv next Thursday at twenty minutes
after ten o'clock; and suppose | am
free, moral, voluntary agent, do you
think am going to be drowned? L
should rather guess not l should stay
ut home, aud you would never cate. the
Rev. Elder Spr Qhtly at Smiths ferry,
no how, nor hear the river either"
a preacher not long since, dis
eoursjng to the boys in the New Hamp-
shire State Reform school upon the
fact Il at the good were respected while
the bad we're Stunned, attempted to IL
lustrate by saying SNOW boys when
Iwalllon the street speak to so nc and
not to others what now makes the diff
erence ?" su9posingo fcOurse they would
say because some are good and some
are bad - But he was much astonished
TO hear one little fellow sing ont. BE
cause some are rich and some are poor
"Miss Nippers, do you believe in
A future state ?" asked the Rev. Mr..
Seekwell, at a sewing circle the other
night, as the two sat in the corner
Miss N. having just finished an embroid-
cred flannel wafsteeat TO be sent to the
Baresidc Indians, in the far-oH Lower
Down Islands.
"Dear me Mr.. Seekwell, how can
YOU suppose 1 believe in anything else?
wouldn't live single woman all my
life for the whole world !" was the ino-
cent reply.
Mr.. Seekwel was observed to squeeze
her right hand very decidedly, and inn