Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-01-18
HUMOROUS.

WE were considerably amused the other
evening, at the little girls playing among the
sage brush in the back yard. Two of them
were making believe keep house" few
yards distant from each other,-neighbors
as 1t were. One of them says to third little
girl There now, Nelly, you go to Sarahs
house, and stop little while and talk, and
then come back and tell me what she says
about me and then I'll talk about her; then
you go and tell her all say, and then we'll
get mad and don't speak to each other. just
Ike our mothers do, you know. Oh thatll
be such fun"
A tall, keen.eyed countryman walked into
the court room during the progress OF a trial.
Stepping up to one of the ring he re-
quested that the prisoners might be pointed
out To him. The lawyer he accosted, being
somewhat of a way, pointed to the Jury.
The stranger surveyed them critically, when,
turning to his iniormer, he remarked: "Well,
they are hard looking set, amt :hey3 l
know by their looks they ought to go to the
States prison, every one OF them y
A raw Irishman, Just over, went into
restaurant and was asked by the waiter what
he would have "Why, somethin' to ate, av
coorse," was the reply. a plateo hash was
placed before him. What's that 2" demand.
ed he. That's wittles," was the answer.
He eyed the compound suspciousy for some
time, and finally exclaimed BE iabcrs, the
man that chcwed that can ate it,"
A young man who has no 'incumbrances'
says he is willing to give up his seat in the
horse cars to an old lady or an old gentle
man. but as for vacating for a baxom young
damsel, who stands in No shoes, be shan't
do lt-hell take her in his lap first.
At hotel dinner gentleman observed
person, who sat opposite use toothpick
which had just done the same service to his
neighbor. Wishing to apprise him of his
mistake, he said Il beg your pardon. sir,
but you are using Mr. ---'s toothpick." ="
Il know am. Do you think that am not
| going to return it Z"
One day little girl, about five years old,
heard preacher OF a certain denomination
| praying most Justify till the roof rang with
the supplications. Turning to her mother,
and beckoning the maternal eer to a speak
ing distance, she whispered: "Mother. don t
you think that if he lived nearer TO God he
wouldn't have TO talk so loud Z"
A smart chap got married at Newbury-
port few days ago, passed a counterfeit bill
on the minister, and stole his umbrella from
the hall as he went out.
Some rich men keep cross dogs around
| their houses, so that the hungry poor who
stop ITO get bite may get it outside the
door.
school master struck ile" the other day
IA juvenile.
GoLD-BEARING bonds-the bonds of mat
rimony. The coupons are payable annually
or thereabouts.
Whoever heard of woman with pretty
ankles and whole stockings complain OF wet
| sidewalks or muddy CROSSINGS
An inspiring sight for gazier the early
dawn, il breaks in the windows.
If you wish to strike for wages strike with
the axe or hoe.
What's the use," asked ragged fellow,
"of a mans working himself to death TO get
living2" =.
Raising the wind" is now denominated
more classcally, exciting the financial
1Elous."
An ipnoramus had been sick, and, on re-
covering. was told by the doctor that he
might take little animal food. mo, sir"
said he, II took your cruel easy enough,
but hang me il can eat your hay or oats. "
Don't you think, Angelina, that the close
of the sermon was very fine Z" Angelina /.
"Oh was so taken with the clothes of Miss
Goldwraithe that didn't notice the close
Of the sermon"
What sor. OF throat is the best for a
singer to reach the high notes with A soar
throat,
The Indians out West ars collecting poll
tax-they take it out IN hair.
A susceptible youth says he would rather
60 tn church to see the hers than to read the
hymns.
When is blacksmith in danger of raising
a row When he mskss poke r W.
shove /.