The Waynesburg Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 1867-18??, 1868-07-29
Nasty AT HOME.
His Return to the Corners-Premutuve
Ratification and Subsequent Confusion.
PosToFrIcE CoNFEDRIT X ROADS, !
(Which is in the State of Ky,) :
Inly IL 1868

I didn't stay in Moo York till the
Convenshun adjourned for most ex-
cellent reason, to wit, viz: my money
run out. The Milesian female with
whom l was forst to bored required
payment in advance, and NV cOorse
under sich an arrangement there wuz
nothing left for me but to succum.
The length Nv my stay redoost itself
to mere matter NV money. | tried
the barrowin dodge, and the cheekin
dodge, but good Lord what cud l do
with an entire convenshun all NV 'em
more or less tryin to live in the same
way? / left and cum home when |
Good, and before it wus everlastinly too
late.
When l left l sposed ther wuz no
dout NV the nomination NV Pendleton.
The "young eagle NV the west" had re-
ceived 155 votes, and wus a gainin,
and Seymore had declined so often and
persistently that goin back on my
yoosual disbelief in these fellers, hevin
declined a great many oliises miself
that l wanted, reely believed that
the Gus wuz in earnest, and | saw no.
thin that Good stand between Pendle-
ton and success. Ez l left the Ohio
river, l got out NV the reech NV rail-
roads and telegraphs, and | told the
people all along that Pendleton he'd
been nominated on the 10th ballot,
and that the country wuz all ablaze
with enthoosiasm for him and green
bax, so certain wuz | NV his success.
On arrivin at the Corners / found
that intense anxiety wuz manifested
by the citizens thereof. They were al!
gathered at Bascom's discussin the mat
ter when l hove in sight on a mule
which I borrowed at Secessionville to
ride over onto.
"Who is it?" asks Deekin Pogram,
ketchin the mule by the bride. "Who
is it? and what principles hev we got
to support this fall?
"Pendleton and greenbax," shouted
I, "Pendleton, the young eagle NV the
west, who is opposed to the bloated
aristocratic bondholders, witch wood
crush us laborin men into the dust.
Pendleton, who believes that efgreen-
bax is good enuf for us honest laborin
men, they are good enuf for the aris-
tocrat, who, like the king in the nur.
sery ryme, sits in his parlor countin'
his money. Pendle-"
"Enuf," said Bascom, "enuf. Save
that speech, Parson, till we hev our
ratification. In the meantime get Oft
and take suthin. So good do l feel
over the result that l am willin to
stand treet for the crowd. Come one,
come ALL"
These few remarks NV Bascum's
wuz hailed with satisfacshen. Ez one
man the entire crowd moved into his
place, and ez one man they all asswag-
ell their thirst. Bascom kin move the
Corners quicker than any man in it,
What a happy posishen is hizzin!
The mex mite it wuz decided to hev
ratifcashon, that the Corners might
contribbit her mite towards swellin the
enthoosiasm, on the buzzm NV which
Pendleton was to sweep to glory. We
met in the open air, in front NV Bas-
CONS and the impashont crowd called
upon me to give an account NV my
stewardship.
l opened by statin' that I went to
Moo York under pekoolyerly embar-
rassin circumstances. The hole mo-
ney NV the east wuz arrayed agin us.
The aristocratic Belmont, which is the
agent NV the Rothchilds, the money
kings NV of the world, wuz detcrmin-
to foist onto the Dimocracy either
Chase, the accurscd abolitionist, Or
Seymour, the pekuler pet NV Wall
street, wich street is, | may sling in
here for the benefit of my hearers,
where the money bizness is mostly
done, and where they sleep on govern
ment bonds and spend the heft of their
time clippin off the coopons.
"Wat is coopons?" asked Deekin
Pagram.
l explained TO the blessid old saint
wat coopons wuz and went on.
"This Wall street influence wud,
my brethren, have corrupted the Dim
ocracy. Wall street came into Tam
many Hall, and wanted to control our
ackshen. But we wasn't to be pur-
chased. The more Wall street offered
to cnslave the Dimocrasy, the more
your representatives -gloryin in Their
manhood - spurned their proffered
bribes. We went there determined tc
emancipate the yeomenry of the coun-
try from the bondage Of the bloated
bondholder; we went there pledged
to Pendleton, the young eagle of the
West-to tender the bloated bondhol.
der the same dirty rags which he padt
for his bonds-pledged to pay the
bloated bondholder, if we pade hin
anything, greenbacks for his bloated
bonds or nothin. We went there de.
termined to annihilate this yer Sey.
mour and his bloated supporters"
"Rah for Pendleton," sung out TIN
crowd.
"Three groans for Seymour, th'
bloated bondholder's agent"
Both cheers and groans were giver
with will, and 1 perceded.
"My friends, you'll never know wa
we, the peoples defenders, he'd to con
tend with. The bloated bondholder
he'd money-we he'd none. They WI
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