Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1868-12-17

$40 for the largest bend.
There is an old lady in Columbus
Ohio. eighty years old, who is cutting
her third set Of teeth.
A BIT OF ADvIcE.--You had better
find out one of your own faults than
ten Of your neighbours.
Reflect before you act, but when
the time for action arrives, stop think
ing" was a maxim of Gen. Jackson.
A young woman in New York is in
grief. She can't get married because
her veil has not arrived yet from Paris.
Beautiful thoughts of an oriental
poet-"He who shakes the tree OF
sorrow is often sowing the seed OF
ljoy."
A late Philosopher says that if any
thing will make woman swear, II Is
looking for her night-cap after the
lamps blown out.
A number of "elegant and refined
young gentlemen" in Missouri, it is
said, advertise for situations as sons
in-law in wealthy families.
Deal gently with those who stray.
Draw them back by love and persua-
sion. A kind word is more valuable
to the lost than mine Of gold.
A Medical student says he has never
been able to discover the bone OF con
tention, and desires to know whether
it is not situated near the jaw-bone.
] Edgar Thompson, President of
the Pennsylvania Central Railroad, is
named as Radical candidate for
United States Senator from this State.
A writer in the New York Citizen
says: "If Plmouth Rock had landed
on the Pilgrim fathers it would have
accomplished something worth talking
about.
A Polish landlord had to pay three
hundred roubles because his daughter
of seven years, in n room by herself,
played q Polish nationa! air on a
piano.
A true friend is distinguished in the
crisis Of hazard and necessity; when
the gallantry of his aid may show the
worth of his soul and the goodness Of
his heart.
A Belgian clergyman shot himself
recently at the tomb of Napoleon, in
Paris, saying that he wished 20 offer
himself up as sacrifice to the gerius
ofihe first Emperor.
Bill Mcdonald, colored, has been
elected Justice of the peace in Smith
county, Ga, beating two white Radi-
calls, who are said TO be much DISCUS
ted at the ncgro's impudence.
A Tragedian had his nose broken.
A lady on one occasion said TO him
81 like your acting, but / can't get
over your nose" ''No wonder" re-
piled he, "tbe bridge is gone"
/ Thomas Hood died composing, and
that, too, humorous poem. He is
said to have remarked that he was
dying out ofebarity TO the undertaken,
who wished to turn lively Hood.
The Boston Post says: A Sunday
paper says it is in favor of women
voting, If they want to. We should
like to see the man that could make
them vote, it they didn't want to.
A white garment appears worse
with slight soiling than do colored
garments much soilcd so, little
fault in a good man attracts more
attention than a great offence in bad
man.
"My dear" said an anxious matron
TO her daughter, 'it is very wrong for
young people to be throwing kisses
at each other" "Why so, mama
I'm sure they don't hurt, even if they
do HIT"
During the month Of November,
36,34l eight wheeled freight cars
moved over the middle division of tho
Pennsylvania railroad, being 5,947 in
excess of the corresponding month
Of last year.
We have latoly been reading Of
some person who was killed BY
cork which struck him 10 tho eye
when drawing Il. But if the cork
has killed its ono man consider how
many the bottle has killed without
word being said aboutit
A lady who had read Of the cxten
sive manufacture of odometers to tell
how far a carriage had been run, said
she wished some Connecticut genius
would invent an instrument to tell
how far husbands had been in the
evening when they just stepped down
TO tho Post-office.
A young man, who recently fell in
love with very beautiful young lady,
says that when he asccrtained last
evening thai she reciprocated his pas
sion, he felt as though he was sitting
ON tho roof Of a moeting-house and
overy shinglc was a Jews.harp.
"Arc a man and his wife both one ~
asked the wife Of a certain gentleman.
holding his aching head in both hol
hands.
"Yos, ! suppose so" was the reply
"Well, them said she, al came
home drunk last night, and ought 10
be ashamed Of myself"
When tho women in the Madrid
cigar factories recently mutinied, they
went in n mob 10 the Office of one OF
tho directories, demanding to be heard
He agreed TO admit committee OF
them, adding that they must he the
three oldest and ugliest in the lot
That deputation was mover sent.
A lover who was sighted by the In.
dies, very modestly asked one if shc
would let him spend the evening with
her "No" she angrily replied, chats s
what won't" "You needn't be SO
fussy about it," replied he, 81 didn't
mean this evening. but some stormy
one when can't 60 anywhere else.
Meek, of the Belleiontc Watchmar
IS threatened with another suit for
libel wherenpon he saucily replies
1--WE suppose we have character
enough 20 divide among fifty of them.
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