Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1868-03-11

If there liz emmy thing about the house
that they kant git into, it is bekause the
thing amt big enufE had rather watch
distrikt skool than one tame crow, Crows
live on what they kan steal, and they will
steal emmy thing that amt tied down.
They are fond ov meat vittles, and are
the first tew hold an inquest over q de-
parted horse, or still sheep. They are
a fine bird tew hunt, but hard one tew
kill ; they kan see you two miles first,
and will smell gun right Though the
side ov mountain.
They are no songstirs, although they
hav good voice to cultivate, but what
they do sing they seem to understand
thoroughly; long praktiss has made them
perfekt.
The crow is tuir bird, and kan stand
the heat like a blacksmith, and the cold
like stun wall.
They bid their nest among tree, and
lay twice, and both eggs would hatch out
if they waz laid in snow bank. Thare
amt no such thing as stopping a young
crow.
Crows are very lengthy, beleave they
live always, | never knu one 10 die nat
raj deth, and don't beleave they kno how.
They are always thin in flesh, and are
like an injun rubber show, poor inside
and out.
They are not considered fine eatin' al-
tho hav red sumwhare ov billed crow,
but still never heard ov the same man
hankering for some billed crow 2 times.
This esss on the crows is copied from
natur, and if it IL tru, amt to blame for
it, natur made the crow, didn't, if had
would have made her more honest and
not quite so tutf..
The Bumbel Bee il one ov natures Sc
krets.
They probably have q distiny tew Gil,
and are probably necessary, if 4 fellow
only knew how. .z
They live apart from the rest of man.
kind, in little circles, numbering about IS
or so souls.
They are born about haying time, and
ere different from emmy bug ieknow ov ;
they are the biggest when they-are just
born. They resemble some men in this
respekt.
Their principle bizness is making poor
honey, but they don't make e,ny to sell.
Boys sumtimes rob them out ov a
whole summers work, bu: there is one
thing about a humble bee that boys al.
ways watch dredful cluss, and that is their
helm.
had rather not have awl the bumbell
bee honey thare IL between here and the
city of Jerusalem, than tcw have a bum.
bell bee hit me with his helm when he
Gums round suddin.
They are different from other war yes,
sells; the helm a!wus minds the bumbcll
bee.-Josh billings.
A teacher. asked q bright little girl
"What country is opposite US on the
globe"
"Don't know, sir" was tie answer.
"Well, now," pursued the teacher, il
were to bore hole through the earth
and you were to go in at this end, where
would you come out?'
"Out of the hole, SIR" replied the pu
pill, with an air of triumph.
PERFECT CoNFIDENcE.-"Y You say yol
have confidence in the plaintiff, Mr.
Smith 2"
"Yes, sir.'
estate to the Court, if you plsase
what caused the feeling OF confidence"
"Why, you see, sir, there's alters re
ports bout eatin house men, an used tt
kinder think
"Never mind what you thoug ght-tel
US what you know"
"Well, sir, one day goes down t(
Cookmen's shop, an seq to the waiter:
Waiter seq |, gives veal pie
"Well. just then Mr.. Cookem come.
up, an sez he, How are you, Mr.. Smith
what ye going to hev @"
"Weal pie, seq l."
"Good,' sez he 'l'll take one tu: sc
he sets down an eats one Of his own wea
pies right atore me.
"Did 1t cause your confidence il
him."
Yes, indeed, sir when an eatin' hous,
keeper sits down afore his customers an
deliberately y eats one of his own wea
pies, no man refuses to feel confidence
it shows him TO he an honest man."
A belle from the rear part of one o
the upper Districts, was invited by hel
city cousins to make them visit during
last winters holidays, and promised thai
it should be made as lively and jolly a,
possible. 1t was the good creatures frs
trip to town. She was twenty, in glorious
ealth, weighed hundred and sixty, and
could tire down any of your city damsel>
in straight work" at q regular ball. The
ladies accepted an invitation to one of the
fashionable assemblies" and took the
country lass along. Great was her de-
light thereat. Did she dance much2 Well
Should say so! Not y cotillion Or cnun.
try dance but she was on the floor and
did her prettest. By,and.by q dapper
youth, with nascent mustache, approached
and with great difidence asked if she
would do him the honor to join in a
waltz? "No, .Seri' said she. 6 can
go the cotillions right along; but when
you come to the whirling-round business
Il makes me puke! Not any waltz for
me-"
THE Tennessee Legislature was in ses-
sion when Fort Donelson fell, leaving the
Federals free to occupy Nashville. Hear.
ing great stir in the Governors office
below, a committee was sent to see what