Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-06-26

tends II and gets on a Hedty DlSgHst--A
Lecture on Democracy
Posi- OFFIs, CONFIDENT X ROADS,
(wich is in the Stait Nv Kentucky,) May
q, 1868.
wuz at Chicago one day, and that one
day satisfied me. NV ears wuz stunned
with rores for Grant; wich ever way turn
ed my eyes l saw nothing but Grant badges
and Grant medals; the bands wuz all play
ing the Star Spangled Banner and sich, and
even the street organ grinders had attuned
their Tyres to the same Ablishun melodies.
Oa my arrival askt vicious boy, wieh
| kaowd wuz Dimocratic, from the fact that
his little shirt would have hung out ov his
little pants if he he'd any shirt, eff he Good
show me where the Ablishun convenshun
wuz hoIdin itself
Certainly / kin, my old buffer, saidIhe,
sits in that yer bildin, - pintin, as he
spoke, to rather gorgus edi6ce with a
steeple to it.
entered it, and wuz surprised, not only
at the fewness NV the delegates on the floor,
but at their pecoolyer appearance. They
wuz all solemn lookin chaps with gold spec
tacles black coats, high foreheads and white
neckershers
rs this, !" thot / to myself, ''the uniform
delegates wear at Republican Conven-
shuns p
At this pint turned to man sittin be-
side me, and in an undertone asked wich
wuz ahed on the last ballot Colfax or
Wade?
"sir," said he, "are you johnson post
master?'
81 am, sed l defantly ''How didst
you determine that pint?''
by yoor breath" sed he. Your mis-
taken in the place, my friend. This is
Methodist Conference.
That wicked and perverse boy he'd inten-
shenly deceived me.
Unable to obtain admission into the Ope-
ra House, | whiled away the rosy hours a
visitin the delegashen rooms. The Ipjeany
dclegashen offered me water when l inti-
mated wuz athirst. The Ohio delegashen
knew me on site, and rekested me to dust,
and the Californy delegashen, of which
he'd expected better things, he'd the impu-
dence to offer me winei Winel wine! to
feed sich a nose ez / carry about. Wine to
satisfy the cravius Nv sich stumick ez
mine Faugh And the man who did it
he'd bin in Californy twenty yeers
Disguised at the thinness Nv the bever-
ages | retired into friendly hostelry kept
by Dennis 0'Shaughnessy, and at his hos
pitable bar solaced myself with three fingers
Nv Kentucky sustenanoe.
| There wuz no enthoosiasm among the
citizens Nv Chicago wich | naturally fell
among. The s'loon keepers, wich in re-
membranee Wv the Democratic ConVenshen
Nv 1864 had made extra preparashuns, wuz
gloomy, sad, and disappointed. These
places, garnisht for the okkasion, wuz sad
and lonely. There wuz an entire absence oil
that gentle gurgle wich to me is SO pleasing;
there wuz none Nv the generous noses and
faces lighted with the radiance born Nv the
bari wich | am so accustomed to. No, Chi.
cago wuz no place for me.
Its the last Republican conyenshen I shell
ever attend. The idea Nv a conference sit
tin in the same city with a conversion
The idea Nv minglin politics with religion
Win there be conferences in Noo York il
JooIy? Methinks not, onless my churcl
shood decide to hold one.
On my return we wuz settin in Bascom'
discussin the nominashens. Deekin Po
gram Wuz indignant, "food Heavens se