Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-05-08

i
| 'em I"
well, sir, said the storekeeper, he does
seem rare 'un for usin his legs let alone
his lungs. Yes sir, thank 'ee sir p
Now, have always since laid it up as a
1 grudge against human nature that that un-
principled grocery-man took five dollar
bill out OF my porte-monnaie, knowing
that | should not discover it until too late
to rectify the, errort ~
| II wouldn't have treated Turk SOL
i took up the pitcher of milk on my right
hand, still balancing the baby skillfully
against my left arm and side, and started
triunphantly for home.
"Now, I'll settle your business, my fine
young friend!" l thought. is it possible
that was ever such an incorrgible
nuisance as this ?"
But my triumph was speedily reduced to
the lowest pitch of humiliation
Dear me, Mr.. Beverley, is it possible
that this is you ?'
1t was Kate Milton's self, radiant in
spring bonnet, lilac silk walking dress,
close-fringed parasol, and the daintiest OF
lilac kid gloves! Kate Milton, with an air
of establishment that served to make her
one degree prettier than ever!
| My first instinct was to turn and flee ig-
ANONYMOUSLY; my second was to drop my
nephew and his milk into the gutter and
resolute1y deny all connection with them !;
my third prompted me resolutely to stand
my yg gfeun 4 is + Miss Mi,ton-a-o fine
day.
Kate eyed me obviously, and no won
| der. One sock, curling and twisting as if
serpent were inside of it instead Ola
baby's foot, appeared beneath my coat
of Swiss embroidery and tucks, wofully
crumpled by the fiery ordeal through
which we had both passed-the milk ICON
found itD had dripped a-down the full
length of my pearl-colored pantaloons,
and my hat, bent and bruised was thrust
rakishly on the side Of my head. Twas
gloveless, flushed and dishevelled, and,
take me for all in ALL" must have APP
peared considerably like pickpocket or
an old lothes-man out for walk
/ passed on, followed by the sound of
faint, subdued laughter-a sound that
stung me to the quick.
So Kate and her companion were laugh
ing at me; this was, indeed, the unkindest
cut of all. l resolved never to dance the
German with Kate Milton again!
The house was quiet and deserted as re-
turned and inserted my night-key in the
little circular lock. What could have be-
come of Bertha? The cold dew oozed out
upon my brow as I, for one instant, con-
templatcd the horrible possibility of my
being left, sort of modern Robinson Cru
soc, with the diabolical man little Friday
on my hands
Nonsense! there was no probability of
ID
chair and, planting the baby firmly on my
knee, applied the spout of the pitcher to
his mouth.
Would you believe it? He wouldn't
drink drop. He screwed his mouth as
tightly shut as if he never intended to-
open it again, and doubled himself over
backward with strength of will that
would have been remarkable in full
grown man, but was simply marvellous in
a ten-month's old baby. persevered, and
he persevered Ipoured the milk over his
neck, his embroidered dress-waist, and his
coral amulets; he would have been
drowned sooner than to open his mouth
half quarter of an inch. Probably, of
such stuff were our Revolutionary fathers
made; and this baby had, through some
inscrutable blunder of Dame Nature,
come into the world just century too
late ~
Iput him back in the cradle fiat On his
spinal column, and looked at him more, in
sorrow than in anger.
"My youngster !" / addressed him, "cry
away, cry your lungs outbreak blood
vessel or two if agreeable to you-fracture
your trachea! I can't be held legally re-
sponsible for it, thank Providence!" q
took up book and sat down by the
cradle, rocking it recklessly backward and
forward, regardless of the screams which
still rent the air. / wasn't going to waste
any more time in trying to quiet him. Let
him cry! This is a free country
"Why, Joe whatever is the matters"
1t was Bertha's voice. l jumped up as
if cannon ball had smitten me, and dashed
my book upon the floor.
matter, ma'am, matter? The matter
is that I'm going mad! shall be tit
subject for the lunatic asylum in just about
fifteen minutes Tnore!"
But might a. well have wasted my des-
pairing eloquence on a blank wall She
didn't hear nor heed mel She was loading
that little wretch with caresses, pity, and
Establishments. And--I shouldn't have
credited the sudden turn of affairs if |
hadn't witnessed it with my own eyes-the
baby absolutely laughed up in her face, as
if to say, Eve given my uncle a pretty
time of it!'
Yes; laughed and crowed, and held up
his hands, and behaved exactly as if he had
never in his small life known what it was
to shed tear! The hypocrites are not all
grown up
"Has he been good, uncle Joe?'
I looked volumes at my sister.
Bertha, if ever you leave me again, in
charge of that-that little atrocity, I'll
commit suicide!' g3
"You needn't speak so loud" said my
sister, in an injured voice; 81 intended to
have been home before, but the train was
delayed, and-bless its little heart, did it
want to come to its mammals arms-and
aoas uncle Joseph crosser than an old bear,
and acasn't it the sweetest little rosebud
| that ever" gs3iastf aG; q
waited to hear no more, but rushed
precipitately out Of the room, convinced
| that of all fools, young mother was the
most hopeless specimen!
| That's the last time have had the heir
of the family confided to my guardianship.
/ think Bertha's little afraid to leave me
alone in the room with him. {" So mote iG
ber'
Some one sent me comic valentine this
| fourteenth of February--a picture of a.
hooked-nosed old bachelor--(any nose is "a,
| fine Romanesque curved) in a blue coat
and red trousers, handling the baby upside
| down; solemnly believe it was Kate Mil
ton! a ~ a #a 3s@9 taf ,1it
detest comic valentines Iabhor babies
| nd halt i-,a Of <>II h,a al