North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1868-11-04

We cut the following amusing letter
from the New York Sunday Times. The
'Disbanded Volunteer is Il retired Sol.
der and traveller who has exchanged the
sword and the carpet sack for the Pen
lie is an old correspondent Of the Times
and though his spelling may not be "cor-
din to roof it will be found very signili.
cant. If his autobiography is bad, his ideas
are fine, and we trust he may be disposed
to slash away at the follies and frailties OF
life.
Letter from q Disbandcd Volunteer.
The veteran opens in new vein this
week. He walks into the Mormons and
their wiceries like an avalanche of bricks.
Having lived in Turkey, he rightly appre-
ciates the degrading damnatory influences
of polygamy. The latter part of his letter
is more pungent and forcible than any
thing we have heretofore seen from his
pen:
SAINT NIcKALAs HOTEL,
September Sd, 1868.
Eddgturs cfMe Sunday Times:
Doorin the last few days hev he'd con-
1idabul conversahn with remarkabul
smart old lady, who lately past SEWN
munths near Salt Lake Sitty and onder-
stands to a dot the HABITS and custums of
the poppylashin Of that pollygammonus
settlement, hevin carefully studded their
sayins and dooins, and incummings and
outgoings, all the time she squvtted in
that vicesinity. l he'd heered and red
power of stuff about the mormon and the
morwimmen and thare consarns, before,
but this venabul pcrsun hes given me sum
new rinkles. The way grighum Yung
distribits his favers amongst his sixty
eight ribs is interestn and original all
his better halves hes seprit kwarters, and
every day he rides wun Of 'em out from
her own door in his carridge, and on thare
return she washes herself in bath fayer-
ed with arimatic cents, Gums out as
bloomin as Bathsheby dresses herself to
kill, and sets down with the norman
Soloman to an egskwist banquit. In the
evenin she retires to his privit room. and
they pass the mite together in sperityul
intercourse.
In this way he runs throo the hull sixty
eight, takin each in her reglar turn, and
then begins agen at the opposit eend to
wEar he left off. Bruther Yung has pur-
sood the same rooteen fer years, witch
PROVES thare must be plenty of pith in
that Wonderful elder. think his plan is
triful plesenter and fairer than the insul-
tin mode adopted in the haram of the
grand senior, whar his imperiel hyness
merely pitches his pockit hankecher at the
feet of the lady be rekwires, as eff she was
washer wumman cum for his dirty
Inning.
Yung has oGshally stated why him and
his brethren desires plewrality OF wives.
Thars nuthin sensibil or karnal in it, he
allows. They oney want to prcpar the
rite sort of tabernackles for the multitood
of little sperits lookin out for lodgins, and
witch would be shure to get inter disrepi-
taLul kwarters eff the Mormens want kon-
tinually at wurk for thare acoommydashin.
That's Profit Yungs argument. Amt he
konsiderit!
When Norman profit takes new wife
he calls it bein sealed to her; but l should
say it was oney watering, for eff she hap
pins to be non-peedoocer he soon draps
her and tries. 1t is sakrid princypul in
the kreed Of the preests to turn thars
backs on thare wives when they git agid !;
and evin shaky old preest, virgin on
three skore and ten, will often hev gal
of sixteen in his harem. They justify
this purceedin by the essample of King
David, who, accordin to skripter, was a
perticklar faverite Of Hevin.
AS the Norman TERRITORY is already
hooking at the dore of the Union for ad-
mission as suyring state, its jest as well
to get the hang of the norris of these
strangers before VIC take EN- in. Eff thar's
emmy truth in gospil teachings, there is
seckind edishin of the citysns of Sodim
and Gomorry, and merit similar con-
tribushin of sulfur. The kwestin is,
shall we bind this shock of blasfemy and
prostitooshin inter the holy shefe of free
dom, or shall we not? The .iewrists say
it isent agen the constitooshin of the
United States, but darned eff it amt agen
mine. Why, my informant ses that sum
of the elders amt kontent to take thare
wives by retail, one out Of fammaly, but
whar thar's good loekin mother and
darters, sanktifed old cote will sum-
times marry the hull batch Eff we agree
to take insest, brothelry, and blasfemy
into the Union, we shall hav Tofiit axing
for admishin next. Eeeramost evry claws
of the constitooshin has been twisted two
or three ways, and 90 in for giving it a
bit of an extree carlikew, eff nessaserry,
to block out Bruther Yung and his profit
gut crew. Its bad enuff to hev SIN repre-
scented in Congress by delicate, without
givin EN- the full vice of state in the
Sennit and the House.
line a demmycrat, and 20 for liberty
the biggest kind, but the biggest kinder
libertine is not the cattle that oughtel
pardissipate in its bennyfts. Hoping that
you goinside with me on this important
internal kwestin, rename,
Yours, allus,
A DIsBANDED VOLUNTEER.