The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-11-13
dTrif attS Dntttur .

chatter? tIi..t
- The case for crown-a skull
cap.
- A public singer who 'draws'well
the mosquito.
- Motto for eoutectioner's flies
tswhat Lees / stick to ~
- The best place to perform the
Grecian Bend is over the wash-tub.
"Ballast for the Grecian B on" is
advertised in a New York store WIN
dow. 81.
- The last novelty in sewing ma
chimes Is one that will follow the thread
of an argu nent.
- Why is an understa nding with a
young lady no understanding at all
Because it is understanding.
- The intoxication of anger like
that of the grape shows us to others,
but hides us from ourselves.
- The Grecian Bend has now adj
ded to Its attractions the "Roman wig
gle."
- Was Hamlet thinking of his
mother-in-law when he spoke of ian
eye like Mars to threaten and COM
mand 2"
- There is man in Boston so poor
that he cannot pay debt of gratitude.
IL is proposed to get up testimonial
in his behalf.
- Yankee doctor has recently
got up remedy for hard times. 1t
consists of ten hours hard labor we'll
worked in.
- Before the marriage the man is
81, H.
afterwards the woman is very much
struck by the man.
- A wag remarks that he has seen
two sistrs who had to be told everything
together, for they were so much alike
that they could not be told apart.
- Mynheer Crinhenoff makes dis
tinction thus
sToo much whiskey is too much, but
too much lager beer is cost right"
-. A Minnesota flrmer.--sa s: 1--WE
raise four hundred bushels of potato,
to the acre here, which would be big
thing, if we didn't ialse bugs enough
also, to eat them all up"
- An eccentric clergyman once
said in one of his sermons, that abou.
the commonest proof that NE havethat
man is made of clay, is the brick so Of
ten found in his hat.
- A subscription paper was late
ly circulated in a rural parish, with the
following object in view ''We sub
scribe the amount opposite our names
for the purpose of paying the organist
and boy to blow the same.
"A young gentleman five years
of age, was approached with childish
endearments by an infant of eighteen
months. 'Don't You see," said the moth
er, ''that the baby wants to kiss you !"
"Yes," replied young maturity, mdig-
nantly, "That is because it takes me for
its papa
market, cried out, how much is here 1
do not need Nature is content with
list,e-grace with less ; poverty lies in
opinions. what is needful is soon provi-
ded, and enough is as good as feast
we are worth what we do not want
our occasion being supplied what would
VIC do with more?
"A New York tradesman having
three customers. father aud two sons,
by the name OF Whe eler, and fearing a
confusion of accounts from their differ
emf orders, solved the difficulty by
styling the parent ',Stern Wheeler"
the eldest son "Side Wheeler" and the
youngest rather fast youth, "Propel-
ler."
-s.Bob Brown, did you say that
my father hadn't as much sense as Billy
Smiths little dcg?,' mo never said
any such thing. | never said that your
father had not as much sense as Billy
Smiths little dog. All l said was that
Billy's little dog had more sense than
your father; that is all that ever said.
swell it is well you didn't say the 9TH
er, tell YOU"
- A certain Justice was called to
the Jail to liberate a worthless debtor.
by receiving his oath that he was not
worth twenty dollars. "Well Johnny,
can you swear that you are net worth
twenty dollars, and that you never will
be %
"Why.', answered the other. Father
chagrinned at the question. 81 can swear
that am not worth that at present"
swell, we'll, returned the justice. IL
can swear to the rest, so 60 along John
n.y." and the man was sworn and dis
charged.
- Some days since warrent was
issued from one of our courts for the
arrest of truant husband. The alleg-
ed offence consisted in abusing his wife
and DESERVING his family. The culprit
being arraigned, the hapless better nalf
was put on the witness stand.
t.This man is your husband, is he ?"
enquired the judge.
sOh yes, your honor !" was the con-
fident reply.
"When were you married ?"
"Sir.n
"When did you marry him ?''
"AboUt year ago"
"What minister performed the cere-
mony.
aSir."
"Were You married at church thun-
dered the judge"
"No-sir-we-just jumped the broom
STICK
The man wasn't fined.
A little boy about five years Gf
age was sent to the grocery stCr. on
some trfling errand, and while there
his bright eyes lighted upon barrel
of pippins exposed tenptingly to view
Just outside the door. In going out he
took one and returned to his mother
munching it:
s.Where did you get that nice apple,
Willie ?'' inquired his mother.
"Dot it at the docery," replied the
boy,
"Did the man give it to you?"
"No. took it,"
"Why, my son, that was naughty
you should not take apples or anything
else without permission"
sBut nobody saw me-
"Oh yes, my son, there was one who
saw you."
..Who ?'
"Why, God"
The boy stopped mo nent to consid-