The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1868-01-30
Tho vvedding Night saIrt.

IT wasn't hardly the fair thing that
the boys did to Joe Thompson tho
night he was married, bat the temp
tatlon was rresistiblo. They couldn't
have helped 1t to have saved their
lives. I'll tell you how 1t was.
Joe was about the most fancy dress
cd buck in the town-over nice and
PARTICULAR perfect Miss Nancy in
manners. always putting on airs, and
more dainty and modest than a girl.
Wen, when his we'd ding eight came.
he was dressed trunk empty and, his
pants especially fitted him os If they
had been moulds and his legs candles,
and run into them. Tight was no
name for them. Their set was i'm
mcnsc, and he was prouicr than half
a dozen p%cacocks.
AREN'T they nice, boys?' he asked
Of tho two who were 20 be groomsmen
aud see that he threw hmsolraway AT
ter The most approved fashion.
stunning gorgeous! ropiicd Tom
Bennett. Never saw anything equal
TO them. But, | say, joe, aren't they
just Tho least bit tight? 1t strikes mo
that you will have some difficulty IN
bonding, won't yoG?'
pshaw, no; they arc rs easy as an
old glove. Scc?'
10 provo the matter he bent down
so as to touch hls patent feathers, when
crack, crack, followed Ike the twin
reports ola revolver.
Thunder! exclaimed Joe. 10 he put
his hands behind, and found q rent in
tho casquncrs from stern 10 stem.-
Thunder the pants have burst, and
what shalt do?'
Il should rather think they had.
answered Tom, getting purple IN the
face, as no c~ndcavUrcd 10 control his
laughter. But there is no time to get
another pair. l. only wants half an
hour to the standing up time, and 'vc
have got n mile to 90. Carriage wait.
ting, too.
Whot shall ] do what shall / do?
Ill tell you what if mine would ct
you, you Should have them in welcome
but they are about u milo too bug
would set lie a shirt on q bean polv.-.
sec no way but to have them mend.
ed
We'll, l am something Of u tailor.
and can fN them so that they won't
show. Hold on n minute, and I'll get
n needle and thread
Can you ? May heaven bless You Z?
OF with your coat, commanded
Ton, as he came back.
Now, lay yourself over on the bed.
and | will fix you IN short order
The command was obcyd; the pants
mcndod; tho coat tails carefully pinned
over. so as TO conceal the distress for
rent, and all went az merry as Il mar
riago bell, until Joe followed his blush
ing BRIDE TO the nuptial couch.
There WAS only a dim light in the
room, but enabled Joe, az he glanced
b~ashiulIy around, TO sec tho sweetest
face in the world, tho rosy checks and
ripe lips, the lovely and loving blue
eyes, and the golden curls Just pecping
from out the snow shoots, and he OK.
tlngulshed it altogether, and hastcnod
to dlsrobc himself. OF came coat. vest
fancy neck tic and collar, boots and
socks, m n hurry. but some how the
pants stuck. The more he tried TIC
more They woul'nt come, and he hug
scd yainiy for half an hour.
'Thunderp muttcrcd Joe.
what is tAc matter, dear ? camo IN
tho soilcst Of accents from the bed.
where somebody was wandering ifhe
was cycr going TO como to her arms.
IL was moment Of desperation
Joe was entirely overcome by the sit
uation, and forgetting his accustomed
bashtulncss, biurted ont;
MolI, that cursed Tom Bennett has
scwcd my pants, drawers, shirt an,
undcrsAirt all togcthcrr
1T is Zoo bad. Wait u moment, my
dear
A little stockingl9ss foot peSpcd on.
first, then Il ruflcd night-drcso, thu
lamp was lighted, a pair of scissors
found ice released, and. althoug he
denies It, Tom Bennett, swears chat
his wedding SHIRT was Of the shortest
possible extent, reasoning q ~poatcriorI