The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1868-06-04

to build. Chase hcz no Conscience,
Trumbull and Fessenden no gastric
joose. Sich men alluz conspire and
alluz fall. Still, I'm glad the things
occurred.
"Efit amounts to nothin, why
glad ?
"Becoz it lets johnson. and me out.
When Arnold went back on his coun-
trymon, his countrymen forgot Joodis
Iskariot !; when Aaron Burr ariz,
they to wnnst forgot Arnold Pierce
drove Burr out Nv the public mind !;
Bookanan made EN- forget Pierce,
Jonson made EN- forget Bookanan,
apd now Chase and Trumbnll will
make em forget johnson and me-
That's what / was drivin at. Under
the storm / shell leeve my quiet
WISCONSIN home and live in peece,
for beside these latter cusses / shell
loom up into comparative respecta-
bility. Good mite. Alis well.''
AT . late hour l retired to my vir-
chns couch, and fallin into deep
sleep witch only visits tho pliers NV
them whose consciences aint bother
ed much, NV whom am wich, ez my
Conscience sheds convickshens NV
wrath to come ez 0 duck does spring
rain, / dreemed a most curis dreem.
Methwat the ,Presidenshel course
wuz reel and trooly o race course,
and the candidates he'd to run that
course, the winner nv the race to be
glorified. At one end nv the track
was a weighin stand and at the 9th
er the winners post, which wuz the
White House. The runners wuz to
carry the candidates for Vice Presi-
dents and sich other weights cz their
hackers skood put onto en-.
The Republicans had Grant on the
ground promptly and ready for the
race. He como up splendid. He
wuzn't SO mighty immense, but he
wuz clean limbed, decently developt
all over and showed first rate in the
back and lions. His trainers pulled
off his shoulders few little dead
weights wich some NV his injoodi-
shus hackers and chuckt onto him,
sposin he Good carry everything
Colfax vaulted onto his shoulders
and he wuz ready.
Our people had some difficulty in
selecting man to run agin him.
Pendleton wus trottcd out, bnt Bel.
mont pronounced him unfit; McC Clellan
next, but Vorhees objected. Final
ly Chase wuz selected to run the APP
pinted race, and he wuz brot to the
weighing stand. To the naked eye
he wuz splendid speeimen, and he
come up to the stand SO gallant that
notwithstanding he carried in his
hands silver pitcher wich the mig
gers Nv Cincinnati give him for de-
fendin o fugitive from Ky, our people
cheered him vociferous. Tall, strong
and muskler lookin, in good flesh,
deep chested, broad shouldered,
strong backt, he wuz ez perfect q
specimen ez l ever beheld, and all felt
confident that he wood hev no troub-
le in beatin his opponent out Nv site.
He come up to the stand gorgeous,
accompanied by Trumbull, Fcssen-
den, Grimes, Johnson, and sich, who
he'd him in tow. .s.s.s,s... ...,s-s..
At this pint Vallandygum, Pecrse,
Vorhees, Morissy and Wood, who
he'd charge NV our arrangements,
took him in hand, "We must pre-
pare our man." sed they.
"Take orr this ablishen coat" sed
Voorhees,.
"And this imparshel suffrage vest"
sed Morrissy, athe niger hezn't the
moral qualifications for the ballot"
"And this free soil shirt" sed
Wood.
"And that anti-fngitive slave law
wig" sed Voorhees,.
"And them ekal Ijustis shoulder
braces" sed Peerse.
"And them humanitarian pants"
shreeked Wood.
"We can't abide none NV these
things" yelled the crawd. "Peel /!
peell All these things you got from
the ablishnist free soilers. and Re-
publicans. Well none of them"
The silver pitcher he carried in
his hand they trampled into the
mud, and one by one the obnoxious
garments wuz pulled off from him.
Heavensl wat a change. Ez they
wuz removed he shrunk. When the
coat wuz taken off he wuzn't so
broad and massive; when the vest
wuz gone he wuz positively fiat
chested; when the shoulder-braces
wuz removed he became hump back
ed; and when the pants wuz snakcd
off he stood afore us the merest skele-
ton l ever heheld--a weak, shaky,
wheezen skeleton. Our folks looked
disappointed, but it wuz too late
to change. A loose two sided
wrapper wuz thrown over him, Gov.
ernor English climbed onto his shoul-
ders, Vallandygum jumped into one
pocket and Fernandy Wood into the
other, the brass band footed, the
crowd yelled, he made one convulsiv
StlbIt, uut III NUlus liz btlululu WuZ
all out nv him. His poor weak knees
gave way, his back doubled up and
he came to the ground every bone IN
him rattlin ez he fell, while Grant
made tho race serenely.
"My God," sed Morrissey, lookin at
the poor wreck, "what he got from
tho ablishnigts wuz all ther wuz Of
him, after ALL"
At this pint awoke and wux sad
dened. There's where our trouble lies,
We hev to strip those fellows when
they come TO us Nv all that gives EN-
any strength. Chase without his alb
lishnism can't get q ablishen vote, and
the Democracy will vote for their
own men in preference. Names amt
worth d-n any more, and men
without principles amt NV the slight
est account. And that's what's the
matter with the Democracy.
PETROLEUM v. NAsBY, P. NJ.
(Wichis Postmaster.)
Mr.. Easton, Of Boston, in the fall
Of 1865, left his pocket book on the