Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-06-03
4 WEDDING NIGHT SHIRT.


did to Joe Thompson the night he was
married, bit the temptation was too ire
sistable. They couldn't have helped II
to save their lives. I'll tell you how il
was.
Joe was about the most fancy dressed
buck in the town-oyer nice and partic.
ular, perfect Miss Fancy IN manners
always putting on airs. and more dainty
and modest than girl. Well when his
wedding night came he was dressed trunk
empty, and his pants especially, fitted him
as if they had been moulds, and his legs
candles, run into them Tights was no
name for it. Their set was immense,
and he was. as proud as half dozen full
grown peacocks.
Aren't they nice, boys p he asked of
the two who were to be groomsmen, and
see that, he threw himself away in the
most approved fashion.
Stunning! Gorgeous !" replied Tom
Bennett. "Never saw anything equal to
them. But, I say, Joe, aren't they just
the least bit tight? It strikes me that
you will have some difficulty in bending
won't you %
"Pshaw, no they are as easy as an
old glove. Sec p
10 prove the matter he stopped down
so as to touch his patent feathers, when
crack F.! crack followed like the twin re-
ports of revolver.
"Thunder !" exclaimed Joe, as he
clasped his hands behind and found a
rent IN the cassimeres from stem to stern.
Thunder | the pants have burst, and
what shall I do p
Il should rather think they had," an.
sWered Tom. getting purple in the face,
as ne endeavored to control his laughter
but there is no time to get another pair
1t only wants half an hour to the stand
ing up time, and we have got mile to
go. Carriage waiting too"
''What shall do-what shall do 2"
"I'll tell you what Joe, if mine would
tit you, you should have them and wei.
come-but they are about mile too big
would set like shirt on bean pole
| see no way but to have them mended.
"Who can get that will do it, Tom?"
"Well, am something of tailor and
can Tx them so they won't show. Hold
on minute, and I'll get a needle and
thread"
"Can you? May Heaven bless you !"
"Off with your coat" continued Tom,
as he came back.
"Now lay yourself upon the bed, and
L will fix you in short order"
The command was obeyed-the pants
mended-the coat tails were pinned over
SO as to conceal the distress for rent and
all went merry, as marriage bell, and
Joe followed his blushing bride to the
nuptial couch.
There was only a dim light in the
room, but it enabled Joe as he glanced
bashfully around, to see the sweetest face
IN the world, the rosy cheeks and ripe
lips, the lovely and loving blue eyes, and
the golden curls just peeping out of the
snowy sheets, and he hastened to disrobe
himself Off come coat, vest, fancy
necktie and collar, boots and socks in a
hurry; but somehow the pants stuck.
The more he tried, the more they wouldn t
come, and he :tugged yainly for half an
hour.
"Thander !" muttered Joe.
"W hat IS the matter, dear ?" came in
the softest accents from the bed, where
somebody was wondering if he ever was
going to come to her arms.
1t was moment of desperation Joe
was entirely overcome by the situation,
and forgetting his accustomed bashful-
ness, bhlrted out
"Molly, that cursed Tom Bennett has
sewed my pants, drawers, shirt and un-
der-shirt together ?'
"It is too bad. Wait moment, dear" !"
A little stockingess foot peeped out,
then a rufled night dress, the lamp was
lighted, a pair of scissors found, and Joe
released. Although Joe denies it, Tom
Bennett swears that his shirt was of the
shortest possible length, reasoning pos
tera0rs.