Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1868-01-06
Nice Young Man.

NICE founB man'
: Everybody knows the nice young man;
everybody has seen him. He is that
mild and pleasing person who says,
"Oh, yesl" and :" All, indeedF with SO
much vivacity; who is always the first
to hand around the ices at the party
who knows all about all the weddings
and engagements and balls; who escorts
mamma to her carriage, and suffers her
to converse at him so amiably. he
seldom talks much, but he is so nice.
Generally he is in the dry goods line. and
frequently member of the Young Mems
Christian Association. He has been
known to attempt to teach in Sunday
school, but the mental exertion is COM
monty too severe. His personal appear
ance is not remarkable. He is usually
fair, with light hair and gentle blue
eyes. 1t is desirable that he
should have moustache, straw-colored
if possible, and in size like an exag.
gerated eyebrow. His dress must be
SO perfect as to leave, like himself, no
definite impression on the mind except
one of extreme niceness, and his back
hair should always be parted in an exact
line with the seam of his collar. Brains
in moderation are not, as we have already
intimated, an absolute objection, but
their possession should be carefully hid
den. Ideas are fatal to his supremacy.
One Of the incest young men we ever
knew lost forever his proud pre-eminence
from the fatal accidental commission of
a thought. But feeling he may, indeed
must, constantly exhibit; it is indis-
peusable that the real nice young man
should be as sensitive as new author or
a public functionary accused of pecula-
ton. He may play little on the piano,
or, better still. on the guitar. and occa-
sionally sing to his own accompaniment
in an unobtrusive tenor. Sometimes he
paints nicely, and often writes poetry of
q sentimental nature, not fatiguingly in
tellectual; and he dances-oh he dances
divinely.
The nice young man of Boston is a
very different creature from the nice
young men of New York, and the nice
young man of Philadelphia bears not the
remotest likeness to either, or indeed to
anything else in human semblance. The
nice young man of Boston, for example,
is sometimes a prig; the nice young
man of New York is often snob; the
nice young man of Philadelphia is
usually totas teres dtque rotundus, a
cipher, the curiosa .felicitas of nullity.
Again, the nice young man of Boston
who has no brains is permitted to fill
the cavity which should hold them with
weak solution of equal parts of Emer-
son and Cant; the nice young man of
New York who has brains is required to
shroud their existence in the profoundest
mystery; the nice young man of
Philadelphia never has brains The
first admires nothing that he understands,
the second understands nothing
that he admires, the third understands
nothing, and admires only himself and
Philadelphia. And so on. Besides,
there are numberless varieties produced
again by mere fluctuations in feminine
taste and the fashion of niceness. The
nice young man of year ago may be as
different from his representative of to.
day as last seasons beaver from the
prevailing title. Miss Giggleby's nice
young man in no respect resembles
Miss Sniggersby's; mamma's is not the
one with whom Arabella exchanges
hearts, and hair and Photographic the
nice young man of Betty, the housemaid,
is not the object of her mistress devo-
ton. The niceness in all these cases is
relative; an arbitrary quality reflected
rather than actual, and subject to optical
delusion. But each is in his own circle,
to all intents and purposes, a nice young
man.
The end and scope of the nice young
mans existence is not so easy to define.
The poet tells us that "a thing of beauty
is joy forever" and nice young man
is always thing of beauty; then, too,
his fair worshipers probably find him
useful. He is always so obllging, so
willing to carry parcels, so ready to es-
cort one to the opera or ball, to make up
a set or hold worsted, or take dear aunt
Jane down to supper; so eager, to do
him justice, fof any service where eager
ness does not need to be supplemented
by intellect. And as these are things
which somebody must do, the nice young
man has his place in the economy of
creation. Perhaps he is intended to
show how small quantity of brains is
necessary for human existence. Wehave
sometimes thought that his mission was
to preserve one from marrying that nice
girl, who is bis counterpart, whom every
body falls in love with, and, being sooner
or later cut out by the nice young man,
blesses his ster forever after. On the
whole, we think it most probable that
the latter is the design of heaven in his
creation. Round Table.