The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1868-12-24
local correspondence.
ERIENn rRArGH-

burg Standard my thanks and turkey for
its put. The Freeman las good correspon-
dents-that's so. But then | am a reader
of the standard and know that its editors
itemize local affairs in the most best manner
possible. Besides, it is right on the goose.
Henry Clay said, 1T is better to be right
than to be President" l say so too, friend
Traugh.
THE LONGEST POLE.
Somebody said that the longest pole
knocks the persimmons. That's so to-.
There was a c0lored lecturer here last week,
the name Of Day, that made darkness to be
HqHt. No wonder, for he was day. Some
one said that he was lChite man painted to
suit the occasion. BE this as it may, he
knocked the spots off all the achite brethren
in this vicinity. Preachers, lawyers, doctors.
and stone masons, all knocked under. He
was the devil on two sticks. His lectures
were three, and his three subjects were lst,
Darkies; 2d, White Darkies 81, Dark
Whites. lie tried the church, and it war
too little. He tried the Hall and it war too
little TOO. He drew a bigger crowd than
Sanford and the soap man put together.
He expatiated on the subunar atmosphere,
and the hieroglyphics of the ancient Egyp-
tians. and Moyses. He demonstrated the
compound anaiy sis Of hyJIids and the pure
onadulterated blacks. lie dwelt on the mil
lcnium and the saints rest," till he drew
forth several crocodile tears. Oh lIy
THE NEXT THING.
The next thing that I am going to say, is
that the Branch Road being open. the Teach
ers' Institute viii be a grand De'AG1ir. All
the problems in Matthew Eatticks and Al.
Zebra will be personated, and the clea0 to the
eats pa,o will be fully elucidated. It is
great thing TO be good scholar
ABOUT TOWN
Sleighs are predominaJiDg. Furs are on the
inc-eaee. The Grecian Bend don't take.
We have some fast horses. The New Steel
Works are nearly under roof The Cambria
Iron Company has built mountain of Gin
ders around WooGva,e, to keep off the ice.
There are two night schools in a fiOurishjng
attitude in JUhnstown. Several weddings
have made proposals which have been Gc-
copied. Wild Cat water is still the rage.
Pork and beef visited town on last Saturday.
Tire woallen factory Of Mr.. Byron is still
ahead Of all competitors. The other factory
is doing well. Mr.. Byron takes the La
Crosse, which gives him the prominence
Conemauch Station is a business place. On
last Saturday counted twenty FIVE engines
and three hundred freight cars, all stopping
there to take in refreshments. 1t was a Te-
freshinq sight. Skating is en- the ac0ne and
the ice has its Shiagle up for New Orleans.
There are many strangers in town, evidently
preparing for the holidays. The cambria
Dramatic Alliance" held forth in the Union
Hall on last Saturday night, to full house.
OUR SCHOOLS.
There were eleven hundred and eighty
five pupils in the JohnstOTn schools last Ses-
sion. The per cent. Of attendance was So.
Mjilville has in attendance FIVE hundred and
fifty. The per cent. is 81. ConemauEh bo-
I I 4 : 10, =
81. Cambria borough has four hundred
and fifty. The Fer cent. is 75. Prospect
borough has one hundred and twenty in at
tendance. PEI cent. 73. Three regiments
Of pupils can be raised about JohnstOwn.
oUR FIRE DEPARTMENT.
The Fire Company has devised certain
signals so that when a fire breaks out, the
members will know in what Ward it Is. j
signal success!
SCIENCE AHEAD.
L is great thing t. know something now
a-days 4 teacher from CToyie township
came to town just to get me TO solve the fol
| lowing problem. If a hundred dollars be
/ spent for . hundred head Of cattle, sheep and
! hogs, at ff-y cents hog. three dollars a
/ sheep and teG dollars COW, how many of
each will it buy? l solved the mystery i'm
| meGiately. but the aRs1cer was acrong, and
/ so | referred him to the Teachers Institute
EDUCATION.
( The schools of Johnstown closed last We K
/ with great deal OF auspices. The teachers
! deserve eraItdti0n, and the Directors should
| be enbalmsa-that is when they die. The
| Superintendent should be up',ftca. according
| to the true Irish idiom of rising higher.
THE soLUTI0S.
Lest the teacher from Crovle should be
! cone discouraged, I will undertake to solve
/ his conuHdrun2. Take the one hunlrel dol
| lars and buy two hundred hogs. Then trade
! off one hundred and fourteen hogs for nine
| teen sheep. not Lambs. You VIII then have
| eighty-six hogs aud nineteen sheep, equal to
ore hundred and five animals. Then trade
six Of these animals off for COW, and you
! have it. That is, take three and one fifth
| hogs, equal to one dollar and sixty cents, and
! two and fyur-fttn sheep, equal to eight dol
| lars and forty cents, wiCh equals a COW worth
ten dollats. Tnen add the COW to the bal
| ance, and you have hundred animals, dead
| or Glire. But Mr.. Croyle may object and
/ say that / killed and quartered, or tifthed
! the animals. Beg pardon, sir. l only I'M
/ dgined that | killed and ftthed them But
| Mr.. Croyle objects again. and asks, ''what
! kind Of an animal would one-ffth of a hog
| and four-ffths of sheep make 2" We
! leave the Institute 70 answer that question.
!
! animals in the United States, who can role
with white men. We will now give Croyle
a question: Suppose there is an ocean on
| the moon two thousand miles wide, how
| high will the tile rise
BIG TIMBER.
Any quantity Of shook, ties. and lumber.
was brought into town last week durin@ the
good sleddng. The quantity shO0E my faith
as 10 the stability OF human transactions.
| Hay came in, too, in equal quantities every
,cet day It is no crime to sell wet hay, If
it gets wet accidentally, but it puts damp
er on the buyer.
TIE CATHOLIC FAIR.
| This Fair will be held in the Union Hall,
| commencing On Wednesday evening, Dec.
! 23d. and lasting till after the New Year.
! Several articles will be voted for, such as
saddles. brides, harps, cake baskets, tea
sets, etc. The most popular boss at our
works gets one; the most beautiful lady
! another Protestant minister another; a
a.,