The Shasta courier., 1868-02-15
Mark TwaIn's Opinion of Woman.

At the annual banquet of the Washington
Correspondents Club, held on the night of
the 18th of January, the Star reports the
18th toast as follows:
Woman-The pride of the professions and
the jewel of ours.
The. toast was responded to by Samuel
Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, who
remarked as follows:
MIR. PRESIDENT IL do not know why
should be singled out to receive the greatest
distinction of the evening-for so the office of
reT lying to the toast to woman has been
regarded in every age. Applause. l do
not know why | have received this distinction
unless it be that | am trife less homely
than the other members of the Club. But be
this as it may, Mr.. President, am proud of
the position, and you could not have chosen
any one who would have accepted it more
gladly, or labored with heartler good will
to do the subject justice, than I. Because,
sir, | love the sex. Laughter. love all
the women, irrespective of age or COLOR
Laughter.
Human intelligence cannot estimate what
we owe to woman, sir. She sews on our
buttons laughter she mends our clothes
laughter she ropes us in at the church
fairs; she contides in US; she tells US what
ever she can find out about the little private
affairs of the neighbors she gives us good
advice, and plenty of it; she gives us piece
of her mind sometimes-and sometimes all
of it; she soothes our aching brows; she
bears our children-ours as a general thing.
Ia all relations of life, sir, it is but just and
graceful tribute to woman to say of her that
she is a brick. [Great laughter.
Howsoever you place woman, sir,-in
whatever position or estate-she is an orna-
ment to the place she occupies, and treas
are to the world Here, Mr.. L. paused, looked
inquiringly at his hearers, and remarked
that the applause should come in at this
pcint. 1t came in. Mr. Twain resumed his
eulogy. Look at Cleopatra look at Des
de.nona look at Florence Nightingale =
look at Joan of Arc look at Lucretia Bor-
gia Dsapprobation expressed Well.
said Mr.. Twain, scratching his head doubt.
fully, suppose we let Lucreta slde.-look at
Joyce Ileth-look at Mother Eve. fCries of
" "Oh, oh You need not look at her unless
you want to, but, said Mr.. Twain, reflective
ly, after a pause, Eve was ornamental. sir
particularly before the fashions changed /
repeat, sir, look at the illustrious names of
history Look at the Widow Machree =
look at Lucy Stone look at Elizabeth Cady
Stanton look at George Francis Train -
Great laughter And, sir, | say it with
bowed head and deepest veneration-look at
the mother of Washington She raised a
boy that could not lie Applause. But he
never had any chance. CHI oh \ 1t
might have been different if he had belonged
to a Newspaper Correspondents Club
Laughter, groans, Kisses, and cries of '' Put
him out Mark looked around placidlv on
his excited audience, and resumed !:
| repeat, sir, that in whatever position
you place woman she is an ornament to
society and treasure to the world. As
sweetheart she has few equals and no supe
riors laughter as a cousin she is convent
ent; as a wealthy grandmother, with an
incurable distemper, she is precious as
wet nurse she has no equal among men.-
Laughter.
What, sir, would the people of the earth
be without woman? They would be scarce,
sir, almighty scarce. Then let US cherish
her; let us protect her; let US give her our
support, our encouragement, our sympathy,
ourselves, if we get chance. Laughter.
But jesting aside, Mr.. President, woman
is lovable, gracious, kind of heart beautiful
worthy of all respect, of all esteem, of all
Difference. Not any here will refuse to drink
her health right cordially in this bumper of
wine, for each and every one has personally
known, and loved, and honored, the very
best one of them all-his own mother
Applause.