The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-08-15
From ssFun."
I'd CHoosE 10 BE A ROSE.

I'D CHOOSE TO b ROSE.
ByG TtUgur Person.
I'D choose 10 be a rose-oh!
If ! the power had got
UnOn garden hOse-Ohi
Or else watering poi,
IfI-from LOnnon ded-ohi
Through life might choose my path,
I'd let them shave my head-Oh!
And 90 tC-ShOwer-Bath.
II I could be a now'r-oh!
The weather Is so hot
I'd seek a cooling shOTr-Oh!
And go to-waJerlng pot!
Though I've lot too much fat-oh!
II ali is in The tire:-
To be all dripping, Jhat-Oh!
Is my intense desire.
I'd choose to be a rlse-oh!
flower? On, dear, nOtl
The nose, oh, OF hOse-oh!
Or of a Waterlng'pot
A DRAMATIC FEAT.-Ths horse of the late
King TheodOrus is exhibited at the Crystal
Palace cat siXpence head"-as the papers
say-which is cheap considering all things, as
he has, strange to say, only one head. During
the Dramatic Fete he threw himself with
- 49, oausR for those who be-
much Bplnt In!v sAv -, , ,
held him feeding inform us that they saw
Iammel-ate-with the part OF the Prince OF
Denmark omitted by special request, his
Royal Highness having returned TO Copen-
hagen.
B OPTICAL ILLUsIoN.-It is a remarkable fact
that the people who most frequently gladden.
their eyes with the sight of golden coins of the
realm are those to whom money Is not an
object.
''HE LIsPED IN NUMBERS. 1T is proposed to
number the organ-grinders and license them,
in order to ensure their good conduct, and
their punishment in cases Of misbehaviOur.
The Bishop of Oxford on hearing of the plan
said, that so far as he was concerned he had
rather see the Exodus than the Numbers OF
the Organ-men.
TELL, THAT TO THE MARINES The Secretary
TO the Admiralty has issued an order abolish
ing "white ducks" and substituting "blue
serge trousers" for the Marines. The Serge
is of course very proper considering the semi
nautical position of the fOrCg-'one foot on
sea, and one on shore" But if the ducks are
done away with, why should not goose-step
perish with them
THEREBY HANGS, Erc.-The COWS and horses
of a gentleman of Leven, in Fifeshire, were
found to be so severely tail trimmed, that he
determined to discover the cause, which
turned out on strict Investigation to ba the de-
sire of some Of the farm grls to wear large
chiguons. The silly creatures had so obviously
brought the punishment on their own heals
that a taste OF the felon's dock might hav,
fairly been awarded to them for the dock Il
which they had condemned the horses.
was an insult to the superior auimals, to de
prive the COW aud horse of their Caudal adorn
ment merely to supply dOnkeys.
A Cool NoToN.-The commentators of Shake
speare, with singular obtuseness, have hithert
failed to observe that the Bard of Avon wa
well acquainted with the uses of one of tn
luxures of the present day, to vita freezing
machine. That such, however, was the cas-
clearly appears from the following passage:-
"'Tls the sport to have the engineer
Heed with his own petard"
A FIELD FOR ENTERPRIsE.-Cyrus, w.
HORTICULTURAL NoTEs-A dogmatic garde
ner of our acquaintance asserts that tue dog
rose il planted any time between July an
September, will become dog day-sy.
"A sun-dial may be considered a hard
perennial, as one setting of it sufiees II 20
want to substitute clOok for it, it will best
done by striking.