The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1868-07-09

A Congressional bath Room
and n Senator in the Oven.


and Senator in the OVeTfs
Some days ago, says the Washing
ton correspondent of the Cleveland
Leader, 1 secured ticket for the baths,
and was shown down into the. vaults
of the Capitol. A negro of a buff
color was seated on a stool opposite
the bath room door. Within, the
gas burned softly and low in its
vase, showing the floor Of inlaid mar
bic, and the booths inclOsing the
baths, with their dim light through
their ground glass doors, and opposite
each other, upon a chair, cooked back,
sat Congressman, waiting his turn.
After while, got a chance, and the
negro opened one of the doors. There
was bath tub against the wall, heWn
out of one solid block of marble; the
marble floor was warmed by heaters
below, so that it felt to your bare feet
like the warmth of another human
skin. All the comfortable appurten-
ances of the bath were there; the warm
towels, rough and fine, the sponges,
the soap, that had the smell of the
date balm, the brush to stir up the
energies of ones scalp; the mirror to
abash one with the image of himself,
made ruddy by the pencil of the flame
from the mOuldings of the bronze
side-light. With a tOlerable long
armless chemise and a copy of Cattu-
| lus, felt that l should have made a
very good Roman of the era of DiO-
cIetian. The Romans, as you know,
got out of the bath tub and fought
battles to dry off; then they got out
of the battle into tile bath tub as
quickly as possible. That originated
the phrase of "Out of the frying-pan
into the fire."
In short time I looked like ab
antique marble and got into my quar-
fy at once. Lying there, splashing
and holding my nose, manly Roman
visions came back to me. To appre-
ciate the real Roman civilization you
must get into a marble bath tub and
ttepeat a speech of Cicero; it is worth
a hundred pages of Gibbon. I Ileaped
out and went through the motions of
driving a chariot; then [ hurled the
lquoit Ga bronze two cent piece)
While musit1g of the bliss of servs
ing ones country in the summer, and
debating as to how Turkish pipe
might soothe this too classical atmOs-
phere, l was suddenly surprised to
observe on the ceiling a violent agi-
lation of shadows The effect was
that of a regimental drill of musqui-
tos, the shadows swept together,
made fantastic images, lBaped and
shook in q manner that awakened my
linquisitiveness. The booths inclos-
ing the bathrooms, rear their parti-
tions only half way to the ceiling,
and it was patent to me that somes
body on the other side was going
through some very extraordinary
motions. My belief was that my
neighbor had a fit. Compassion, not
to say curiosity-incited me to make
an observation. Therefore l planted
my great toe upon the rim of the
bath tub, caught the top of the par
tition with my hands, and cautiously
peeped over.
Conscript fathers! there was a rev.
erend Senator executing a Jig upon
the bathroom floor. He was as des-
titute Of garments as child just
brought into the world. Lankness
and abundant stomach were equally
prominent in him. He planted the
fiat of his foot upon the slabs to the
perfect time Of an inaudible tune,
and looked as much like the dancing
fawn as a eve lookes like a lamb.
The hands that I had seen raised to
enunciate the truths of Statesman
ship were flung aloft like a darkey's
at Whitsuntide, and to the measure of
'Ho diddle down, fiddle rol de diddlol'
1 beheld one of the most eminent
men of my acquaintance beguiling
the leisures of the State. What a
picture for a constituency What a
position for prosterity. A view of
those shanks and that abdomen over
threw my reverence for classical cos
tune. Never may our Senators as
sumo the Roman chemise with such a
figure as this, for it cast the reflection
of spider on cTutches, with its
''Ho diddle down, fiddle rol de diddle ~