The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-11-01
WIT AND wIsDoX.

alton wassreturned without anyss 80 rs g,-
/ A man has got SO deep into debt-that not
one Of his creditors has been able to see
him for months.
Why does an aching tooth impose silence
on the sufererf Because it makes him
( Pack your cares in as small q space a.
you can SO that you can carry the M your,
self, and not let them annoy Others.
cru take the responsibility" as jerks
shid whom he held out his arms for the
baby. .t'i - 49g9 1al'd b57ig77 p E1
We have heard of bat one old woman
that kissed her COW, but there are thousands
of young ones that kiss great calves. i.-;t,
A wag 1t . hotel recently ordered eleven
beds for his own exclusive use, because he
had been eleven nights without decent
sleep, and wanted to make up the loss.
Why are washerwomen the greatest nav
continually crossing the line and running
from pole to pole.
A man who recently married fashion
able wife, says he is very glad he had pur-
chased an upright piano, rsit Ia the only
upright thing they have in the house. ~
&C. tailor is the ninth part Of o man."
said a would-be wit in the presence Of q
knight Of the shears. But" responded
the latter, a fool is no part at ALL"
/ An exchange praises an egg, which, it
says, " was laid on our table by the Rev.
be layman as we'll as a minister.
Many of our merchants advertise that
we can buy of them at "cost." When we
make hastrial we find that we may buy of
them Dry great cost.
It is said that the Englishmen in Canada
periodically avoid placing green spectacles
on their noses, lest it boreonstrued hoisting
the green above the redsas4, ~ I'D.
When we inquired of q friend few days
since what business, he now followed, he
replied, sDentistry-the insertion of teeth
in roast beef and bread and butter"
A waggisi spendthrift recently said:
Five years ago I was not worth cent in
the world, now see where am through my
own exertions I" "Well, where are you ~
Why, owe more than $4,000"
There is landlord in Boston who is in
| the. habit of placing an extra fork beside
the plate of such boarders as have not.paid
promptly, being delicate intim alton to
| headed barrister, should be admitted to
the bar who hadn't an Independents landed
property" May I ask, SIR" said Curran,
how many acres make a soiseacre s''
| Eve is said to be the only woman who
never threatened to go and live with her
mother, and Adam the first man who ever
went to housekeeping without first trying
| to board with his mother-in-law.
The following announcement lately ap.
peared in paper F" Edward Eden, paint.
! err, is requested to communicate with his
brother, when he will hear of sOmOtlling to
his advantageous wife is dead
"I wonder what's the ,raaaosl;n said a
wife to her husband, g Skat turkey 1
ate for dinner does noSsFse well ON my
stomach" F" Probably replied. the ag-
gravating man, "because it wasn't a hen
turkey"
| LEARNING THE RULEs.-When you see
a man on a moonlight night trying to con-
vince his shadow that it is improper to fol-
low a gentleman, you may be sure it is
high time for him to join the temperance
society. 'e
Some New York traders have placards in
their windows, saying, Here we speak
German" GO Here we speak Frencl,," etc. /;
upon which Bowery retailer has improved
] by hanging out sign, Here we speak
the truth !' ~"
"John," said stingy old fellow to his
hired man, as he was taking dinner, 90 do
you know how many pancakes you have
eaten Z" :" No, do you ~ /" Yes, you have
eaten fourteen" "Well," said John, "you
count and I'll eat" oa, E.
A boy at Presby terrain examination
Grafton ?'' /" o, to be good boy" "Would
you not like to be born again 2" Tommy
gave no reply, but on being pressed for an
answer, at last said, "No." :" Why, Tom
! my7" For fear I might be born girl"
"Can you give two sixpences for shil-
| ling 2" asked little boy of grocer's clerk
/" Certainly" said the clerk, handing out
two -sixpenny pieces. "Well," said the
boy, picking up the sixpences and turning
| to go out, "mother says she will send you
| the shilling tomorrow"
A doctor ordered one of his patients to
drink flower of sulphur and water. The
patient expressed his disgust by significant
grimaces. " 1t is only the first glass that is
hard to drink" said the doctor. Then"
| rejoined the invalid, 81 will begin with the
second"