The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1868-03-06
THE ART OF CONVERSATION.


The men who thoroughly understand
the art Of conversation, all that it means
and demands, may be considered to
have mastered one of the most impor-
tant departments of the great art Of iiv-
ing. As conversation is the most conl-
mon and frequent form of intercourse
between man and his fellows, to have
graspcd its significance and its princi-
pies is TO have graspcd a just theory of
all the ordinary human relations Su-#
pcrfcial people, who arc content to take
words very much as they find them.
talking. There could not be greater
blunder. Its difficulty would be much
more truly expressed by defining it as
the art of being silent. Any blockhead
is able to talk. To know Ulrcn and
how to be silent is the gift of the wise.
The common phrase a good talkcr, is
more usually than not applied to a
man who is profoundly ignorant of
what it is that conversation means, or
else who knows what it means. but does
not much approve of it. Asa rule, the
persons with the most universal reputa-
! ton for good talk are the sworn foes of
conversation. They have no moro right
to be set up as patterns of conversation
than a popular preacher or a tcetotal
lecturer or a public recitcr. Preaching
or lecturing is, in its way, just as little
| conversation as the utteranccs of the
profcsscd t2lker. Among other evils,
the talker is pretty sure to be aware of
his reputation, and therefore TO be con-
stantly OH the strain in order to main
tain it. Effort may bcget talk, but the
charm of conversation is spontanicty
and freedom from self-consciousness.
| 1t is here as it is with literary style.
style is the unaffected and unconscious
| outcome and expression of the authors
habitual way of thinking and feeling
about things. The moment he begins
! to study style FOR styles sake, lie inevi-
| tably becomes stilted, rhetorical, and
to a wholesome taste, intensely disa-
greeabie. The professed styhst is "a
| creature as it'll: to be endured in liter
| ature, as the clipping of lockwood into
p cacocks is to be endured III landscape
gardening.
i The only way to arrive at lucid oil
sympathetic style is to acquire lucid
habits of thought and to cultivate hu.
name moods. IF an author thinks little
i. of his style, and much of his subject, and
of what is due to his own mind and
character, his style viii take care of it
self. 1t is the same with conversation
The same qualities which make man
q right-living person will of themselves
make him good i'll conycrsing. To live
well one must have q lively intellect anc
right feeling. TO converse well yol
want no more. Special training fol
, conversational purposes is q superfluit!
nay, is worse than superiority, jus
as washes and cosmetics are worse THAI
I supcrfiuous for the skin or the hair. /
is provoking, perhaps, to suppose tina
y there is any field i'll which advice is i'm
n potent, though some philosophers pro
f fess to find it surprising that in any ficl'
q it should have any power. 1t is an un
speakable comfort to the mediocre min
n to hold fast to faith in the efficacy @
g prcccpts. If the world could only re
cciye an impulse from the multitude c
prccepts and convictions Which abom
7 Oh every subject, from making the bcs
p of both worlds down TO playing ut Gro
4 quet, VIC should all get on with cxqui
site case and rapidity combined. Their
;. is no subject under the sun i'll which yo
# arc not sure to excel, provided exec
h lence were the certain result of skillfi
" codes of rules. The theory is thQt if W
= want to do anything we need no MOI
- than to buy and ponder the given hsknt
book. Do you desire to swim, for c.
, ample? Then buy the handbook
" swimming. The water may be dispen
70 cd with until you have mastered the al
" Is man ambitious of shining in co
= versation? Let him mediate the pr
n cepts contained in the handbook e
g. conversation. The truth is that ham
v. book for conversation, to be compict
IN must also be perfect handbook of mo
K ais, manners, literature and most 9th
;, subjects. AS The whole of man
G. thinking and feeling shines through h
. demeanor in societv-through his CO
re versation, that is-a complete manual
y conversation would beindircctIy cor
IS. plete manual of conduct.
as People write and talk as If convcrs
th ton were apart from the man himsc
e. like his garments as if he could choo
Is. its cut and material quite irrespective
the rest of himself They think til
- rules of talking viii make man So
~ cessful in conversation, just as rules
etiquette viii warn him not TO cat pc
with knife and not to bite his brea
he They forget that etiquette is an affair
ut convention There is nothing in 4
nd nature of things which makes it al
re moro proper to break bread than TO hi
it, or, if you are adroit enough not
cut yourself there is no eternal prin,
as pie infringed by using knife instead
nj q fork. These are things which an
body may learn by rule. To say to
man, Do not bite your bread, is o
n thing. To. say to him, Do not be du
CO is another and very different thing. :
er. comply with the first preccpt it is Oh
his necessary that he should be attentive /
ter a month or two while he is eating
dinner. To comply with the second
Ia must dig down to the very foundatio
LA =.