Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1868-12-03
From Wilkes spirit Of the Times
rhe Private Habits OF Horace
Greeley,
M MARX TWAIN, or rHE TRInrSg'S
STAFF


Greeley,
ny MARK TWAIN, or rHE TRihlShS
STAFF,
Mr., Greeley gets up at three o'clock IN
the morning, for il is one OF his iaNafNo
maxims that only early rising can Keep
the health unimpared and tho BRAN Wig
orous He then wakes up all the house
hold and assemblies them in the library,
by eandle.light, and, after quoting the
beautiful lines;
!, Early 10 bed and early To rise
Make man healthy, wealthy, aud wis.,,
M appoints each individuals task for the
day, sets him az il with encouraging
words, and goes back to bed again,
mention here, in no fault-iinding spirit
but with a Difference Justly due = man
who il wiser and worthier than l, that he
SHORES awfally In moment Of irrita-
ton, once | was rash enough to say new
or would sleep with him until he broke
himself Of this unfortunate habit have
kept my word with bigoted and unwaver.
ing determination.
At half.past ten o'clock Mr., Greeley
rises again. lie shayes himself, lie con-
sders that there is great virtue and econ.
omy in shaving himself He does II with
dull razor, sometimes humming part
II a tune, The knows part OF tune, and
takes an innocent delight in regarding il
as the first half Of Old Hundred bnt
parties familiar with that hymn have felt
obliged TO confess that they could not re-
cognise il. and, therefore, the noises he
makes Is doubtless an unconscious origi-
nal composition of Mr., Greeley's aud some
times, when the razor il especially dull,
ha accompanies. himself with u formula
like this "D---thed ---raior, and
the d outeast who made ir-IG."
lie then goes into his model garden, and
applies his vast store OF agricultural
knowledge 20 the amelioration Of his cab
bages after which ho writes an able agri.
cultural article Tor the instruction of
American farmers, his soul cheered the
while with the reflection that if oabbages
were worth eleven dollars apiece his mod
ii farm would pay,
lie next goes 70 breakfast, which Is a
frugal, abstemious meal with him, and
consists Of nothing bat just such thing,
As the market affords, nothing more. lie
drink, nothing but water-nothiug what
ever hus water, and coffee. and tea, aud
Scotch ale, and lager bier, and lemonade
with It's in it-s8mctlmes u house fly,
and sometime, "a horse iiy, according to
the amount OF inspiration required 10
Narm him zap to his daily duties, During
breakfast he reads the Tribune all through.
and enjoys the satisfaction OF knowing
that all the brilliant things in it, written
A.ttys. gtl g.. l. .tytl IL #4s,Fl "A
myself, ara attributed TO him by a contid-
ing and internal public,
After breakfast he writes a short eli-
torlal, aud puts a large dash AT the begin
ming If II .---, which is the same As If
he pa, II q. after IT, and takes a savage
pleasure in rejecting that none Of " un.
lerstr6ppers eau use that dash, except in
proftnc conversation when chatting over
the outrage He writes this editorial in
his own handwriting He does it hrcause
he i, So vain of his pcum4uship. He always
dli take AN iuordiuAte pride in his pen
mAu~htp tie hired out once, in his
Young days, as writing master hut the
enterprise failed. The pupils could not
translate his remarks with any certainty.
HIS first copy was Virtue Is is own re-
ward" and they got II Washing with
'P - "h"''y Ho'",d' anu - 'ie 'Fu''
n'S "l2'hars%d nun ''F a!'ghP''hS ''''',
Wy "au h'fA4S, through thS H'eu'uH "a
""'a' t'shihah7"'I hut, t'7 l ""s "a! '',E'
~ whites ms morning et','of'2L heh ne
'''1 49, anu ,'' i - uu =. 49,. "',''
r.,1 il and. es,,, r., ana A. =, r. -, y,
nn', r,n9am a. van NAV s4v nntting in
wh,, warl. thew can make 6nt' and y hen