Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-01-22
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7 At the annual banquet of the Wash
ington Correspondents Club, held on ths
might ofthe 18th inst, the Star reports
the twelfth toast as follows 81 -, a
| tsIWoman; !, the Pride of the Profes
sions,eand the jewel of ours was re-
sponded to by Mr.. Clemens, better known
tas Mark Twain. /"
| "Mr. Twain remarked as follows:
i "Mr. do not know why
II should be singled out to receive the
greatest distinction of the evening-fol
SO the office of reply to the toast to wo.
man has been regarded in every age.--
l{Applause.1 / do not know why l have
received this distinction, unless it be
that I am strihe less homely than the
| other members of the Club. Butbe this
as it may, Mr.. President, 1 am proud Of
the position, and you could not have
lchosen any one who would have accept
led it more gladly, or labored with q
1heartier good will to do the subject just
ice, than l. Because, sir, I love the sex.
Laughter. I love all the women. sir
irrespective of age or color. Laughter
I Human intelligence cannot estimate
what we owe to woman, sir. She sews
on our buttons Ilaughterl, she mends
our clothes laughter she ropes us in at
the church fairs she confdes in us, she
ttens us what she can find out about the
tlittle, private affairs of the neighbors- :
ishe gives us good advice-and plenty Of
| lit-she gives US a piece OF. her mind,
sometimes sometimes all of it..
she soothes our aching brows-she bears
our children-ours as a general thing.
In all the relations of life, sir, it is but
lust and graceful tribute to woman to
say of her that she is brick. [Great
f,ughter. I T. = 49, 0sAE~1-
|, Wheresoever you place woman, sirA
in whatsoever position or estate she is
an ornament to. that place she occupies,
land a. treasure to the world. Il Here Mr..
Twain. paused, looked ? inquiringly
at 4 81 his s. hearers, sai. and 5d remarked
that the = applause should come
in at this point. 1t came in. Mr..
Twain resumed his eulogy.I Look at the
noble names of history. Look at Cleo
Ipatra look at Desdemona look at
Joan Of Arc.!-look at Lucretia Borgia
| l[Disapprobation expressed. " WE'LL"
said Mr.. Twain, scratching his head
doubtfuily, suppose we let Lucretia
1slide.p] Look at Joyce Heth look at
Mother Eye! i Cries Of :. Oh!'s Oh !''l
You need not look at her unless you
want to. but, s(said Mr.. Twain reflective
ly, after a pause Eve was ornamental,
isir-particularly- before the. fashion
changed? ! I repeat, sir, look at the IL
lustrious names of history! Look at the
Widow Machree look at Lucy Stone
look at Elizabeth Cady Stantonl-
look at George Francis Tram !! s fGreat
laughter. And, sir, / say it with bowed
head and deepest veneration, look at the
Mother of Washington! She raised a
boy that could not lie-coUld not lie
Laughter, But he meuer had any chance.
1Oh!. Oh!l 1t might have been different
if he belonged to Newspaper Cores
Fpondent's Club Laughter, groans,
Kisses and cries Of f"put him out" Mark
looked round eplacidly upon his excited
audience and resumed: d AZ 1oin.i
Irepeat sir, that in whatever position
you place woman she is an ornament
to. society and a treasure to the world.
AS a sweetheart she has few equals and
mo- superiors- laughter. las a cousin,
she is convenient; as a wealthy grand
mother, with an incurable. distemper,
she is precious-as a wet nurse she has
no equals among men! laughter. g 8
I, What, sir would the people Of the
earth do without women? They would
be scarce, sir-almighty scarce! Then
let us cherish her-let us protect her
jletzus give her our support, our encour-
1agement, our sympathy; ourselves, il
we, getla a chance laughter. ~. = 3
But. jesting aside, Mr.. President, wo-
man is lovable, gracious, kind of heart
beautiful worthy Of all respect, of all
esteem, of all Difference. Not any here
Twill refuse to drink her health right cor.
daily in this bumper Of wine, for each
land every one of us has personally
known, and loved, and honored, the very
best one of them all-his own mother
lfApplausej t{f9l5Is5.