The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1868-02-06
4 rrinnesofn rfarrlnra.

II s.
| In the semi rural district Of Kinous,
forty miles north Of that city, on the
Minnesota side Of the Mississippi river,
lives a mong several people Jolly good
fellow Of q Justice Of the Peace, whose
ideas Of matters are much similar to the
waters Of a dccp river. Once started
l. is hard TO turn them. On fair day
last week, after the 10xl2 law dispen-
sary had been swept, after chairs had
been, set in a row against the off side Of
the Office, and sundry whipped qnids Of
tobacco bad been kicked under the
stove, there was wooden step on the
stairs and vigorous rap on the door.
Come 10, said the justice, as ho
settled into q legal look so becoming
man Of law duly elected to dispense tbs
favofs Of the blind goddess.
A stout woman entered. She had on
short woolen wooden aoled
shoes spotted red checks, black hair,
and eyes that snapped like the lock Of 4
shot quo Ii a Portuguese accent, and
10 the worst possible English, she said:
lou Jaw mau &s st.t
Yes, madam, be seated"
Want paper Want paper 10 take
man. q
just then a stout French half.breed
entered the room. He was unable to
speak half dozen words, aud looked
either scared or bashfuI.
The Judge saw at once that there was
some marriage to come of, and said to
the woman, who was standing with com.
pressed lips watching the Justice and
the door: la
Want paper to take this man -
"Ycs--want paper, Ne teach him
II Nice woman thought the juticc.0 -
He no good man me take him 50 quick
as can. lasta
Albright, my covics----fx you in the
jerk Of a lambs tall" said the justico
as he turned to the man aud said.
"You know this woman can you
take herr, u M ss
The man shook his head and NUT
terod uninselligible words.
( "Ah! see, can't talk Euglish.--
Well, never mind
lie ran into the street, invited fev
friends up stairs, aud on returning with
them said 20 the woman:
"You want 70 take this nan for bet
ter or for worscfp
"Yes-me want 70 take him--mc viii
pay"
Then turning to tho man, who stool
trembling
.Yoa take this woman for better o.
FOR worse, aHdpromiso 70 keep her &C.
"Umph. :" aud several mods Of tn.
head. e @ hG n'
"Thcn IN the name Of tho law, aud
BY virtue Of the authority 10 me vested,
| pronounce you man aud wife" And
he stepped forward before the woman
could soy word and kissed hcr red
lips.
Sap came her hand in his face
aud she ciuiched his hair. The new
husband jumped in to take the woman
away and to protect her, as the woman
supposed, when 10 self preservation the
Justice gave him rap on the nose.---
The woman pitched into the new hus-
band, who In turn pitched into her, aud
for about i've minutes there was gem
eral busiling and q display Of legs gar
teEaI aud things decidedly astonishing.
At last the parties were separated. when
the man and the woman took another
turn at each other the blood and hair
flying in all directions. Down came
stove, over went the table, ,clatter went
tho chairs and into the street like mad
went tho Justice with black eye and
tho bosom OF his shirt looking Ikea
warranty deed covered with red seals.
"a crowd rushed up stairs and found
the man aud the woman lying on the
floor, hngging each other like young
bruins, their arms and legs mixed up
worse than tomato vines, the woman on
top. and pomelling her newly made hus-
baud with hearty will.
The newly married couple were sep
arated, when through the aid Of two IN.
terpretars II was discovered that the
night before, the parties, occupying ad-
joining shanties in the lower portion Of
the town, had got into . dispute over
piece Of stove-pipe, which was claimed
By both, and from words they had come
TO blows. Each party had hastened 10
the Justices Office in the morning for .
warrant for the other, with the result as
stated above. e3
The latest news from there was, that
the parties had gone In search Of anoth-
or justice to unmarry them while the
genial cause Of their terrible squabble
was setting up the toys," and bathing