The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-07-26

An Illinois girl, who had lost her speech,
has had forty offers Of marriage.
Gone bumper at parting" as the man
said when he ran against post.
The principal feature in the new style OF
bonnets is the height of the price.
Interesting to q youthful barrister. A
maiden brief that is not a little girl.
A man proves himself fit to go higher who
shows that he is faithful where he is.
Never worry about what you cannot help;
never worry about what you can help.
A f1y in n mans butter is decidedly the
least pleasant of all kinds of butterflies.
The man who fell from the deck of a YES
sci did not see stars, but he did sea weed.
Why should man never tell his secrets
in corn-field Because it has SO many
ears. .
The Pace that Kills-The faster that a
man starts in life the sooner he gets into a
hobble.
Cottage trunks. one and n half story high,
are to be seen at the various railroad sta
lions now.
A chord of love runs tlrough/all the
sounds of creation, but the ear ct love alone
can distinguish it.
The old gentleman~1Sho poked his head
from "behind thetimes," had it knocked
soundly by q passing event"
Adam>is claimed as having belonged to
the fraternity of provision dealers, as he
early engaged in disposing of spare ribs.
If your wife goes into a hysterical fit, and
you can cure her in no other way, go into a
fit~yourself; it is perfectly justitiable
counterft.
An eminent painter, on being asked what
he mixed his colors with to give them so
fine an effect, answered: 81 mix them with
brains, sir"
1t may perhaps be thought difficult to de-
eide which is the more destructive-the
mortar OH the battlefield or the mortar in
the drug shop.
1t is maintained that the most inspiring
natural sight which a glazier can contem-
plate is the CLEAN of early day breaking
through the windows.
"Digby, will you take some of this but
~ "Thank you, ma'am, belong to the
temperance sOciety-cant take anything
strong" replied Digby.
perspiration from his face; it is a bad sign
to see fellow wiping his mouth as he
comes out of a public-house.
Seeing sexton at work, bystander
said "Digging q grave! Why, | thought
people didn't die often here-do they
g Oh, no, sir; they never die but once"
The proudest triumph in mans life is
when he makes a friend of an enemy. The
Joy is then akin to that which angels feel as
they rejoice over a sinner that repenteth.
dandy ordering pair of pantaloons of
his tailor, said he wanted them very tight,
according to the fashion. elf 1 can get
them on" said he, 81 won't take them"
Great Reduction in Teas" Exactly )"
said Mrs. Snobbs, and that's the mischief
of it. We don't want the teas reduced
they're poor enough already. If there is to
be any reduction, let it be in the prices"
az wish knew how could make neigh
Dor Ransom keep the Sabbath" said the
good old Rev. DIR. Rodgers. Lend it to
him. pa" said the doctors hopeful son; che
never borrowed anything yet which he
didn't keep"
Two young ladies and an Irish gentleman
were conversing on age, when one of them
put the home question (Which of us do
you think is the elder, Mr.. G.7'' "Sure,"
replied the gallant Hibernian, "you both
look younger than each other"
Columbus, Kentucky, is a hard place. An
old farmer who had been badly swindled
there, said of st: IF the angel Gabriel
happened to light at Columbus, there1l be
no resurrection, for they'll swindle him out
of his trumpet before lie can make single |
toot!" u
The friends of a celebrated wit expressed
some surprise that, with his age and fond
ness for the bottle, he should have thought
it necessary to marry. {" A wife was neces-
sary," he said "my acquaintance began
to say that l drank too much for single
man.
$40 you believe in second love, Mr.. Nc
Quade 7" "Do l believe in second love
Humph If a man buys a pound of sugar,
isn't it sweet2 and when it's gone, don't he
want another pound, and isn't that sweet,
too7 Trotll, Murphy, believe in second
love-"
Sir John Irwin was favorite of George
III, who once observed to him: g They tell
me, Sir John, that you love a glass of
wine" "Those," replied Irwin, "who so
informed your majesty have done me
great injustice-they should have said a
bottle"
A chap went to pork house to buy pork
on credit. First he bargained for ears; the
clerk seeming willing to trust, he bought a
hogs head: then GROWING bold. he said :