Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-16
OUR BABY.
A Bachelors Experience With 1t
BY AMY RANDOLPH.

1t was very pretty little baby
that is for baby. l had no fault to
find with it, as far as its individual
identity was concerned. If babies
must exist--and / suppose there IS
necessity for the thing, or else
where would all : the grown people
come from?-this baby was as well
in its way as any other baby.
! mention these facts merely to
prove that / am In no way preju-
diced. AS far as mortal man can be,
am s.---ti-Alu martial witness.
1t was fast asleep in its cramo---
little white headed doll, with long,
dark eye-lashes, and crimson dot
of mouth, against which lay its
tiny fist, with five well-defined dim
Piles in the five joints thereof. 1t
was fast asleep, l say, when Bertha
came airily into the room.
81 am going over to the depot to
see mother off, Joseph, I'll he back
in half an hour. Just Keep an eye
to the baby while I'm gone, will
you?"
Hooked blankly at my sister. But
while was considering how best to
express my total dissent from her
audacious proposition she tripped out
of the room, her ribbons futtering
in the soft spring air.
Silence doesn't always give con-
sent. but Bertha had taken it for
granted, in this matter, and l was left
an unwilling guardian of my little
nephew.
However, he was fast asleep, that
was one circumstance in my favor
Mortal baby couldn't present more
innocent and cherubic aspect than
he did. So l calmly went on with
nv writing, soon oblivious to his in
fantile presence.
"Talk about tending babies,
quoth l to myself, dipping my goose
quill triumphantly into the ink, ''why
it's the easiest business in life.
should never spend my money hiring
nurses, if that little one was mine
but women never do know how to
economize properly"
AS these fancies passed through
my mind, the baby woke up and
sneezed.
1 gave the cradle an oscillatery
kick, and then burst forth into the
well known burden of ''Bye baby
bunting" but the little villain abso
lutely declined to shut his eyes agair
like sensible baby. He opened
them wider than two miniature
moons, stared at me with an air o
malevelence that has made me firm
believer in human depravity eve
since, and deliberately began to cry
And the harder / rocked, the loudel
l sang, the more resolutely did tina
baby cry.
"He's hungry" thought to my
self. "Babies must be fed, and it
highly reprehensible of Bertha Il
stay away SO long"
So went down into the pantr,
and instituted search for some milk
which 1 had vague idea was the die
usually preferred by toothless infan
cy. But milk there was none.-
Lamp ell; Stewards syrup; vinegar
kerosene; brandy; everything bu
milk was there; every known or con
ceiyable fluid, in aggrayating profu
sion--but not drop of milk.
All this time, meanwhile, the roar
of my infuriated nephew, but slight
ly softened by distance, followed m
about like Nemesis.
Irushed frantically up stairs, arme
with lump of sugar, the first soott
ing expedient that suggested itsel
to me.
"Bless its dear little heart, there
there; confound your racket, can
you keep still! Take its sugar frol
its own, ewn uncle, that's littl
goodie boy
But the goodie boy resolutely r.
jected the sugar, screaming iouds
. than ever, as i. its lungs were Tort
! baby power, and warranted never