The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-09-13
uoRxua STAR AND CATHOLIC NEssKNaER.
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 10. 1868.

W.T. AND WINDOW.
An Old Salt-Lot's Wife.
A Woman of Metal-A Belle.
The Greatest Cause-Be-cause.
The best stakes to hold-Beef-steaks
Easy Shaving-Taking the beard off an
oyster.
The Best Stimulant for the Hare-The
greyhound.
What was the first bow used by man
two children.
What is better for being in many pieces
A brass band.
Bookkeeping Taught in One Lesson
Don't lend them.
He who would make q name in life must
have an aim in life.
Affectionate Times-When every thing is
as dear as it can be.
Afalse friend and q shadow attend only
while the sun shines.
A Hindrance to Marriage-The govern
ment tax on matches.
A Practical Artist-A man who can al
ways draw his salary.
An Aching Void-The socket from which
q tooth has been drawn.
The honeymoon is as often obscured by
clouds rs any other moon.
Good Men to Attend Auctions-Men
whose faces are for-bidding.
Some ladies' use paint as fiddlers do resin,
= to aid them in drawing bow.
To go slow is to go sure-except when
you are running from mad bull.
Old ladies dress very young this summer,
and young boys remarkably old.
What is the only thing that can live in
the midst Of fire! A piece of coal.
Taxidermy For Parents-If YOU want to
preserve your children, do not stuff them.
Making ox-head cheese and OK tail soup
may properly be considered making both
ends meet. -
The man who has stake in the country
writes to say that he is longing to get back
to chop in town.
Marriages by parental authority, instead
of deserving the name of mating are often
only game of check-mating.
A young woman was made the happy
mother of four bright children, the other
day, and is doing well-a step-mother.
1t is fine thing to ripen without shrivel-
ing, to reach the calmness of age and yet
keep the warm heart and ready sympathy
of youth.
ELECTRICITY" said o scientific doctor,
travels faster than light.'' Yes" said
his reflective listener, cit is easier to shock
than to instruct"
When his cousin Charlotte Dunno was
married, Jones said "It was Dunn before
it was begun, Dunno whilst it was doing,
and it was not Dunno when it was DONE"
els pig iron petrifed pork or concerted
bacon 7" asked a would-be wit of a member
of an eminent manufacturing firm. elf
you smelt it, you'll find out" was the reply
"Did you know said a cunning Gentle
to q jew, that they hang Jews and jack
asses together in Portland :" "Indeed."
Tetorted Solomon, eden it ish veil dat you
and ish not dere."
A hardy seaman who had escaped one of
the recent shipwrecks upon our coast, was
asked by an old lady how he felt when the
waves broke over him. "Wet, ma'am,
very wet, he replied.
-"How tall are YOUR "I stand six feet
in my Shoes" "Six feet in your shoes
Why, no man living can stand more nor two
feet in his shoes you might as we'll say you
stood six heads in your hat"
. A man with one eye laid a wager that he
1.-THE one-eyed) saw moro than the other.
The wager was accepted. uYou have lost, -
says the first; ~ can see two eyes in your
head, and you can only see one in mine."
Tom presented his bill to his neighbor
Joe. "Why, Tom, it strikes me that You
am sensible it is q round one," quoth
Tom, and have come for the purpose of
getting it squared"
John, 1 saw your cousin Isaac few
weeks ago, and lie had just received a fall
which cut q most horrible cash in his ARM"
All, poor fellow, what did he fall on 2"
Well, really, 1 forget now; but it rather
strikes me he fell on Tuesday morning"
"A man asked another, (Which is the
heavier, quart of gin or quart of water ?"
Gin, most assuredly for 1 saw man
who weighs two hundred pounds staggering
under quart of gin, when he would have
carried a gallon Of water with ease"
"My friend" said seedy person to an
would lend me twopence to cross the ferry.