The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1868-01-02

furnltoor. Marters is very much Ike
the gruntin swine-uv yoose only after
death, and they are only fit for present
yoose. However sweet they may be
while fresh, they won't do to salt down.
The story nv his wrongs did all very
we'll for two or three campaigns, but the
people hev he'd enuff nv it. It sours on
their stumiks, It's got to be to the Dim
ocrisy, what hash is to boarders. 1t
obtrudes ITSELF When there is a Sena-
tor to elect, up comes this martyr and
butts in among the wires like bull in q
china shop, demandin it ez the price NV
his sufferins, for the coz. It's all very
well when the martyr haz suthin to rec
ommend him besides his marterdom, 9TH
erwise he becomes a noosence of the first
magnitude, wich calls for speedy and eff
fectooal abatement
WITCH, then, shell we hev for our Pres
ident There is one man, upon whom
the minds NV the Dimocrisy NV the coun-
try all center. / alood, need I. who
write up. NJ" after my name, say, to A.
johnson. He is our rock and our cheef-
est trust. and in him only hev we refuge.
1t seems clear to me that he hez all the
qulities for successful candidacy. He
wuz born NV poor parence, in q poor
year, and in very poor Staff. His faith
er died when he wuz so young that be
didn't remember him for suthin like fifty
years after, and he wuz left poor orfun
to make his way alone in the world. He
referred to this interestin fact in his in
augural speech ON the 4th NV March,
1865. He made NV himself tailor and
actooaly worked on the board for Twin,
and read history while workin indus
frr. Ell L.,
Nv the people l wood state fact that
may not be generally known, that he,
from this honorable begipnin, hez swung
around the entire circle NV offishel honor,
holdin, at different times, every offs in
the gift NV the people, from Alderman
NV his nativ village up to the Presiden-
cy. Eff I remember, he incidentally re-
ferred to these facts in speech he made
wunst.
There are other reasons for givin him
the nominashen, NV witch these are the
most prominent
l. Eff he amt nominated and electid
Seward, Weed, Raymand, Randall and
Secretary Welles will to wunst go back
to the Republican party.
2. He hez the effecshens of nearly
every offs holder in the Yoonited Stats,
and wat a fife they wood make to retane
their possishens.
8. His Dimocrisy Is entirely salts
factory to me. He temporarily abbra-
ted, but when he returned, he wuz ferc-
er than ever. He clambered long way
up the mountain NV Ablishen, it is troo,
but when he fell, he only sunk deeper in
the mire nv Dimocrisy. We need never
feer to trust SIGH man.
a. He hez q incurable hatrid Nv the
Ablishnists. When they woodent receive
him corjelly on his various toors, he
swore eternal hostility to EN-. Hence
we kin depend upon his bein troo to US.
5. Ez a further guaranty nv faithful
mis-, I may say that / hcv it from the
best authority that he takes only whisky
strate, hevin given over all them demon
alizin fancy beverages witch sedoost him
while he wuz in the bonds Nv inikity and
the gall NV BITTERNESS,
There are also other reasons, but these
are sufficient Let us put onto the tick
ct with him Henry Clay Dean, and the
arrangem ent is complete. We hev the
North and South represented, and the
Intellectual wings NV the Dimocrisy. /
love Dean. Ez he stands before the au
jence in all his greasiness, l feel that
there is suthin in him wich we must ad-
mire. close this article with suggest
in the follerin ticket:
For President,
ANDROO JOHNSON.
Tho pride NV the Postmasters.)
For Vice President,
HENRY CLAY DEAN
Respectfully,
A Kentucky Postmaster,
shell sign it thus SO that in case any
other man succeeds, the authorship kin
be denied.
PETROLEUM V. Massey, p. M.
(Which IL Postmaster.)