The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1868-08-20
From the Toledo Blade.
NaSby.
A Futile Attempt TO Ratify the
Nominations at the Corners

(Which is In the Stalt NV hentucKyD 7
July 81, 1868.
We he'd last mite ratification meet
ing at the Corners wich started out
gloriously but didn't end so happily ez
it mite. | he'd gone to good deal Nv
trouble about it and he'd made all ar
rangements for feast Nv reason and
flow NV sole exalted by few ratifcations
and surpassed by none.
The blessid Deacon, McPelter and
Issaker Gavitt who expect respectively
to hold the posishens Nv Assessor, Col
lector, and whiskey Inspector for this
district, come down handsomely with
the funds, enuff to enable me to deko-
rate the post offs with flags and trans
parencies, and myself with a pare nv
ready made pants, wich I muddied con-
siderable to make EN- look old so that
they shood not suspect ther funds he'd
bin applied in that way. Human ma
cher is inscrutable mystery. They
wood obieck did they know he'd
clothed myselfwith their money instead
NV wastin it on taller candles and SIGH,
wich burn out and leave nothin behind.
wuz economical in my expendi-
toors, or ruther but little expens wuz
necessary. Desirn to wake the en-
thoosiasm NV the Democrisy, procoor-
ed a passel NV Confedrit battle flags,
wich the returned heroes he'd brot
home with EN-, and he'd the talismanic
words, "Seymore and Blair" painted
across EN-. The effeck wuz gorgus!
Ez mite approacht / he'd the transpar-
encies saved over from celebrashen
wich he'd bin held after the battle NV
Chickamauga lighted up. The enthoo-
siasm, ez the populace saw these, and
listened to Caplin McPelter ez he red
EN- to EN-, wuz overpowerin. How
they cheered ez the words fasht out
into the mite, "Southern Rites, South
ern Men, and a Southern Government"
sDeath to Northern Hirelinsl" "DOwn
with the gorilla Linkin!" "Jeff. Davis
and the Confedracy forever!" No quar-
ter to Fedral invaders" And when
Boregard's black flag, onto wich "Sey-
more and Blare wuz painted in red
letters, wuz unfurled, ther arose sich
cheers for the nominees nv the Moo
York Convenshnn ez l he'd never heerd
before, nor expect to agin.
At this time jist ez everythin wuz Q
gittin red-hod the trouble commenced
Pennibacker, wich runs our biggest and
best distilery, jumpt onto the platform
at my suggestion, and perposed three
cheers for Seymore and Greenbax, anc
three groans for the bloated bondhold'
ers. The crowd, with too DimekratiC
docility, wuz again to cheer, when Bas
com, who hez some 5;20's, riz and swort
that he'd be d--d eff that shood be
"Governor Seymore is in favor of payiI
the Neshnel Indebtedness, principle an(
interest, in gold. Reed his speech a
the Cooper lnstoot."
els he7 is he?" shouted Penniback
er, springin onto the platform, "is he
Read the platform wich he accepts"
"Don't Belmont and the eastern
bankers support hint" yelled Bascom
"Don't Vallandygum, Pendleton
Brick Pomroy and dirty shirt DeaI
support hint" yelled Pennibacker.
"Yoor doctrin, sed Bascom, excited
", "is id swindle-a piece u
theevin wich Arab wood be ashame
Nv, and Seymore sed So"
"Your proposishen is outrage ont
q opprest people, grindin NV EN- int
the earth under the iron heels Nv bloa'
ed aristocrats and pamperd sons Nv lux
ury, and the platform Seymore stand
onto sez so," shouted Pennibacker'
2 "Yoor a swindler," excitedly yelle
Bascom, whereupon they clinched an
rolled orf the platform titely hugglr
and maxim extraordinary physikle q
forts at injoorin each other.
: To direct the attention NV the popr
lis from this untoward circumstance,
f rekested Issaker to sing out three cheer
for Blare!
"Three cheers for Blare!" sung OF
Issaker "the Missouri statesman, WI
will rid us NV Freedmen's Burrows an
: military rool!"
Z "Three groans for Blare!" yelle
Punt, ga Ablishnist and Linkin hireli
1t wich shot my unkIe in Missoury, al
burnt my grandmother's house ne
: Vixburg!"
HIIe amt no Ablishnist." exclaimt