Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1868-12-03
Anecdote Of Stuart, the Paint

From the ATLANTIC MONTHLY for December.1
AT another time he was dining with
Gouverneur Morris, after that gentlemau's
return from Portugal. There was a large
party OF handsome women and fashionable
men, VINO occupied high positions in
Church or State, and carried their honors
bravely. The conversation was chiefly
about wines, and especially port wine and
vlntages; their host main tanning, as well
he might, that IN this country we never
saw any real port wine and, among other
pleasant things, he avercd that more port
VINE, or what passed for port wine, was
drank In London than was ever made in
Portugal; that even there the genuine ar
tlclc was never to be had for love or mou-
ey, except under peculiar circumstances
even the "old port'' of the London docks
being. at best, but a decoction of logwood
ana clder-Derries or grape cuttings: and
That III tact, the real Simon Pure was so
utterly unlike what passes for port wine
here and elsewhere, that our best Judges
would call it insipid, having neither body
nor soul. Nevertheless. lie had managed
Wiilie III IortuSal to make an arrangement
whereby he could obtain a duarter-pipe
now and then for himself or a friend as n
special favor, the government itself bein~
AFRAID 10 allow the expectation of unadul-
terated wines, lest they should iniurc the
sale of the rest.
And now, said he. ito show Won all
how you have been abused in this matter
| must peg OF you to try n glass of what /
call port wine,--old port. Here George.
Sto waiter oehind his chair, bring us
up upniI and dn,s ie See Fee here he glanced
noses bring us up three bottles, moi
Imorc,-i cannot afford more. till nv ,tocls
is replenished, d,-of the vintage have been
telling you of,-and give us clean glasses"
The waiter soon appeared with lust
three oottles. fat and chunky, and cover
cd with dust and cobwebs. The clea
glasses were rather understood, it must be
aeknoWleased; but they were filled, and
held up to the light, and looked THROUGH.
and then there was deal of talk about
the aroma,-the bouquet,-and.what tbey
called the body, as if it We're condensed
sunshine, flashing through live prapery.
Stuart was just raising the glass TO his
/ lips, when he caught Whit of the aro-
ma, and set it down, without tasting it.
ana Without beng observed. The talk
went on; The ladies began to chlrp and
Ghatter IKE sparrows on the house tops,
| give Stuart's language. not nv own
and the sparkle of their eyes. and the IN.
common freshness of their lips, by the
tiinc they mad managed the second glass,
only served TO strengthen his convictions
At last, alter collecting the suffrares,
which were not oAly Unanimous but on
thuslastlc, the host turned to Stuart. and,
seeing a full glass before him, asked what
he had to say for himself, and whether he
had ever met with such old port in his life
before. 'Never!' said Stuart: and then
the host nodded and smiled. and looked
about with a triumphant air, as much as to
say, What did tell you? "Never!" but
still there was something in the look or
tone of his guest which puzzled Mr.. Nor
ris, and seemed to call for explanation.
Come, come, Stuartr' said he. "none of
your tricks upon travellers. We want your
honest opinion, for we all know you are
the best judge of wines to be found on this
side Of the water; and therefore l ask you
drank such old port in all your life. either
at home or abroad, 'pon your honor,
now:'
| 'Aerer,' SAID Stuart,-'neyern And then
there was dead silence, and the host HIM
self began to look uneasy. not knowing
how to understand what he believed TO be
one Of Stuart's jokes; and then Stuart
added i'll his own peculiar way: You
must excuse me, my friend, and you ladies
ana gentlemen; but assure yeu that what
you have all been taking for old port wine
is not wine at ALL
Not wine at ALL exclaimed Morris,
almost jumping out of his chair.-'why,
what the-plague-is it then?'
Il shonld call it,-eXcuse me.,-takiny a
snuff, as he passed it back and forth before
his nose,-'I should call it cherry bounce.
For a moment the host appeared thunder
struck, wellnigh speechless with amaze
ment; but then, rs if suddenly recollecting
himself his countenance underwent a
change, and, calling the waiter, he said,
George. you scoundrel :" in sort of
stage whisper, that could be heard all over
the room,- George. tell me where YOU
found these bottles.' The poor fellow
cremhled and shook; bur after a few words
of explanation, Morris threw himself back
IN his chair, and laughed and laughed un-
Ill it seemed as il he would never stop; and
! it turned out that this port wine, so care
fully selected by him in Oporto, and sent
home years before, as he thought, was in
deed nothing but cherry bounce, which
had been put up and set aside for family
use on special occasions long before he