, 1868-01-31
All Sorts,

out breeches. "AA'
Advertising for wife, SAYS cotem,.
is ust as absurd as it would be to pst s.I
ured for an umbrella. o'' "ea''
A friend of ours is so skeptic,, H..
won't even believe the report Of cuDnn a'
A man in Albany, who drank beD,;Dot ?
whisky, has not been seen since, WI
The New Orleans Times designate. Il
population of the South as Southern "a M
tlemen, plain and colored sSa'
The mills Of the gods are mentioDed,, >, :.
stances of pugilism in high life. '''
A young lady must make hit if she r,
likes to be miss. O''
Semmes has three lectures on the Alol..
one on her outfit and two on how sbe &, sS'
she was out. '
The worst organ-grinder-a hollow tOoh
that plays the deuce. ~
A revolutionary character-tSe man :.
the moon.
'Matchless misery has been defined tn Ia
to have q cigar and nothing to light 1t Win
Judy knows a man so hard up that he eva,
sleeps on tick.
Honorable Mr.. Norton, the poet h,
fallen heir to 950,000.
Wilkie Collins calls his new novel cTh.
Moonstone.'
Cotton socks overlaid with woo!en one,
are said to be the thing for cold teet
Philadelphia is the greatest manuactu.
ring city in the world, excepting London.
There are 357 manufactures of false teeth
in Paris.
Fuqr children in Mobile have died from
eating painted candy.
Ancestral Sin is the title given to Dr.
Holmes novel in a French translation.
The gross receipts of the Paris Expositnu
were about S2,36G,00O.
Milwaukee has erected $50 new buildings
this year, at cost Of S2,34S,000.
General Wood says, in writing from Br,.
zil, that the Indies, on being introduced tun
stranger, insist on being embraced, heart
against heart Ho for Brazil ..
A lady in Newport while yawing one
day last week, opened her mouth 50 vide
that ii became locked, and required tSo
| physicians to shut it.
King Theodore is to be dramatized for
the London stage ,-r
1t Is announced that pencil directions
will hereafter cause letters tO be seut TO the
Dead Letter Office.
1t is hard to live without a wife-nO cen
tie heart to up cold mornings and build the
FIRE
'if man is without enemies | wouldn't
give ten cents for all his Friends says Beau
llackett
A single fiddle in good hands often makes
better music than whole orchestra.
Madame SwOt:hine says that we never
know any person perfectly, save those Whon
we divine at first sight.
Judge Bangs, of Lacon, II, has been
poisoned by wearing paper collars, aud Is
now at the Kenosha Water Cure for treat
ment.
The re are S5, 900 miles Of printed csIi'
made in Fall River, Mass, ever year. Tbs
would go round the earth three breadIs
wide.
If small boy is lad, big boy mu'tO'
ladder. .-.
When is silence likely to get wet? When
it rcigns.
What can you not name without breaking
it? Silence.
When is a window like star? When
is sky-light.
Why is old age like dogs taly Because
it is in- firm.
When is lover like tailor? When hs
presses his suit.
Men, in looking at the faults Of WOmsn
should shut their eyes.
Why is dancing like milkY Because Il
Strengthens the calves.
Why is learned man like scar'ets Because
he is deep read.
These are loving times, when every thing
is as dear as it can be.
What sculpture is to block Of marble
education is to the human soul.
IL rs said hoops surround the loVeheS' ="
al! things-girls and whiskey.
When does man have to keep bis WorO'
when no one will take it. ...t ~
Men, like books, have ateach end blank ""
childhood and old age.
Why are your eyes like stage horses Bee'e''
they are under the lashes.
Z Why are Odd Fellows like saussgesl Beea'''
they are linked together.
Wbsn may funds be supposed to be un''sa"'
When money is tight.
lf"Beauty draws us single hair" who e''
Withstand modern waterfall7
Esteem is the mother of love, but the d'0sD'
Ter Is often older than the mother.
MARRIED.:
- TN the 001 I nrrI0 II. ~