The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-05-23
Misrellanp.
OUR BABY.

its individual indemnity wss CONCERNED. II os
bies must exst-snd suppose there 10 necess
ity for. the thing, or else where would all tn
grown people come from this oaoy was aswei
in its way as any other baby.
mention these facts merely to prove that
an in no way preiuliced As far as mortal man
can be, I am an entirely impartial witness.
1t was fast asleep in its cradle-a little white
headed doll, with long dark eye-lashes, and q
crimson dot of mouth, against which lay its
tiny fist, with five well-defned dimples IN the
five Joints thereof 1t was fast asleep, say,
when Bertha came airily into the room.
81 am going over to the depot to see mother
eff Joseph, III be back in half an hour. just
keep an eye to the baby while I'm gone, Will
you?" -,
| looked blankly at my sister. But while
was considering how best to express my total
dissent from her audacious proposition she trip
ned out of the room, her ribbons Tutoring IN the
soft spring air.
Silence doesn't always give consent, but ber-
tina had taken it for granted, in this matter, and
was left an unwilling guardian OF my little
nephew
However. he was fast asleep, that was one cir
.oumstauce in nv favor. Mortal baby couldn't
present a more innocent and oherubic aspect
shan he did So l calmly went on with my
writing soon becoming oblivious to his infantlle
presence.
1alk aDOut lSIIuiit, p"o'Ss' i"OeA w "N.
self dipping nv soose-quill triumphanty into
the ink, "why it's tine easiest business in life
should never spend my money hiring nurses, if
the little one was mine-but women never do
know how to eoonomize properly"
As these fancies passed through my mind, the
baby woke up and sneezed.
| gave the cradle an oscillatory kick, and then
surst forth into the well-known burden of "Bye
a baby bunting" but the little villain absolutely
Ia Il Il, ko q 80
baby. He opened them wider than two minia-
ture moons. stared at me with an air of malevo-
Ienee that has made me firm believer in human
depravitv ever sincs and deliberately began to
cry. And the harder | rocked the cradle and
the louder l sang, the more resolutely did that
baby cry.
Hes hungry" thought l to myself. Babies
must be fed, and it's highly rsprehensible OF Ber-
tina to stay away so long.
So | went down into the pantry and instituted
a search for some milk which I had vague
idea was the diet generally preferred by tooth
less infancy But milk there was none. Lamp
oil Stewards syrup; vinegar; Kerosene brandy;
everything but milk was there; every conceiv-
able fluid in aggravating profusion-but not
drop Of milk.
All this time. meanwhile, the roars Of my in
furiated nephew but slightly softoned by dis
tance, followed me about like a Nemesis
UpelaiS, atiheu WIN .
lump of sugar the first soothing expedient that
suggested itself to me-
"Bless its dear little heart there, there; con-
found your racket, can't You keep still Take
its sugar from its own, own uncle, that's little
golden boy"
But the golden boy absolutely rejected the SUI
gar, screaming louder than ever, as if its lungs
were forty haby-power, and warranted never to
tire out. 1t kicked, it struggled, it paved the
IL At.,f ABBA Nf lrty.r
Herod and all the Egyptians what was man
TO do!
In vain ! executed war dance around its era
die, in vain | rang the dinner-beil, and jinglsd
the china ornaments, and waved the feather-dust-
er, and swung my gold repeater, and bawled
nursery ballads at tbs top of my lungs. Talk
about perseverance Robert Bruoe's spider was
nothing to that atroclous little lump of NOR
tally.
"1heres nothing for it but to capitulate," said
to myself, as l damned my hat on my head, vi
ciously tsrust my arms int my overcoat, and
seized the baby out of its cradle.
Leave it absolutely alone | dared Not, and the
nearest grocery where milk was procurable lay
three blocks off Thus, in a sort of stony de-
spair ! issued forth from the house, carrying my
prosecutor like bundle under one arm.
thought he would stop crying when he got
into the open air, but not he oxygen only seem.
w w ''iN''''SC viz saw ~ rV"Ch VA
little pipes People turned to stare at me as if
was an escaped lunatic, or an abductor of hui
man innocence. Women looked Indignantly at
the baby. Blue worsted socks and little pink
legs kicking blindly from beneath my arms Chill
dren ran after me, dogs barked, but I kept dog
'gedly on my way, walking into the grocery, with
resolution second only to that of the Roman
fellow who jumped rnto a clater nobody knows
how many hundred years ago.
"a pint of milk, ii you please"
milk, sir Have you brought anything to
put it il 7"
thought of my tobacco hex, my pocket hand
kerchief, the corner of my hat, all OF these i'm
practicable places for the deposit the tactical
fluid
II never thought of that !" said, righting
She baby. who came head uppermost with very
crimson countGnance, and eyes looking defantly
into mine: eyes that said, az if they had spoken
in so many syllablss, II won't stop crying I'll
die first :"
The storekeeper locked on sympathetically,
81 could sell you very nice little pitcher if
The very idea" interrupted. "a pitcher
of milk ! and please take the change out of this
port-monnaie, for if had three pairs Of hands, !
couldn't more than hold this kicking little de-
mon with EN-
well sir said the storekeeper, she does seem
rare IN for usin' his legs let alone his lungs
Yes sir, thank'ee sir !"
New, have always since laid it up as a
grudgo against human nature that that unprin.
cipied grocery-man took five dollar bill out Of
my port-monnais. knowing that should not dis
cover it until too late to rectify the error,
a wouldn't have treated Turk SOL
! took up the pitcher OF milk on my right hand
stili balancing the baby skillfully against my
LETT arm and eide, and started triumphantly for
hc!ne.