The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-05-30
A Letter from Squibob.

DEAR JEpGE I've been to the Legislature-sen
there by my constituents as an outsider " and a:
I'm ho-piily-my- eye TO my constituents, l intend &c
faithfully stick To them.
y Legislature is u good thing to have in the city
in the dull season. il varies the monotony. gives one
u chance 10 work off the surplus bile. causes de
lightful little hubbubs" occasionally, keeps one
in a healthy state of excitement, enables him TO GO
to his dinner with a good appetite and as I" good
digestion waits on Appetite the general tone OF
health is of course thereby improved.
I've been to the Legislature. and when / got there
Rhodes had the soor not the Colossus. but e nuther
man. The Colossus, il you recollect, was a Dig
man OF brass; this is a smaller one.
Well, after sitting in that House about four honrs,
i Just came to the conclusion that I'd like to have
the floor. Id just like to have the floor for-well
say for The balance of the session. Oh! If | only
had the Goor-ohi i / only had The ioor-oh! if
only had the foor-Td-yes, | would-Id alter
things Id legislate to some purpose.
| think the first thing I'd do would he to appoint
Hitchcock Rhodes supervisor and then I'd = Ma
caesar - any member who shakes his fist at another.
saying he'd knock his ed oft" Don't you think
that would be a good beginning?
Then Ia make the page stand by the amiable
Governor of Kauai, to wake him mp when a vote
was taken and then. I" lit seems to me- I'd retire
the Attorney General on half pay in order TO give
him &" ample scope and verge enough y to overhaul
Whitney's paper since 1864. and try not to find any
thing reasonable in it.
Then I'd vote a yearly appropriation for the Kan
sufferers. and take immediate steps thereafter to
find a nice young man with a small capital, and
send him up with a stock of cheap goods to +. go
through = that district.
I'd put the pound under the charge of the Agri-
cultural Garden managers. just to see which would
come out best, the garden or the pound.
Then I'd have some new rules. too. / wouldn't
let members leave the House until it adjourned
It's unpleasant to be reminded every day about IL
O'Clock that 4" life is short.' by seeing so many
grace men going to their beer.
I'd stop SO much smoking in the House, because
it injuries the eyes and nose and how are you going
to tell TIE result of a vote if the ayes and noes are
unsound?
I'd go for the subsidy, for several reasons. In
the first place. because I'm stubborn and pig
headed, = and amt going to be brow-beat by long
winded petitions signed by most of the influential
and business men of the place against it. Then
again. I'd like to see :" that young man - get some
of his money back. 1t costs something to treat This
Legislature. Besides, / go over to the Coast occa-
sionally, and a free ticket is a very good thing to
have at such times.
Then there's a little small boy " always standing
around the main entrance with one leg of his
trowsers rolled up and his shoes in bis hand, his
dicky sticking out behind. and no handkerchief to
blow bis nose with. I'd order the Sergeant-at-Arms
to remove him. because he's unsightly, and Getracts
somewhat from the dignity of the thing.
Finally. l think I'd hang Whitney = not because
l have any personal feeling or luminosity against
him - NOT tho laost lint on OaDeral nriDcinlps
feel rs if somebody had ought TO be hung. and /
don't see why it shouldn't be him as we'll rs any
body.
You see things would be lively If | had the floor.
and there would be something done instead of so
much precious time wasted. But rs l haven't got
the floor. what's the use of talking.
Yours. SQUIBOB.