The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1868-04-01

MAN, when clothed in a. little brief authority,
plays such fantastic tricks before high Heaven
as to make angels weep.-Prelade.
Shakespeare, or "some other man." wrote
something like. the above an indefinite time
ago, but evidently stole his thunder from the
present age with the aid of powerful men,
tai opera glass. We are one of the angels
and the MAN he writes of can be found at al
most any time day, seated behind three
BY four table at the county rat hole, or Asy-
fum for infirm or preceeious barnacles. By
his imperial moustache, massive brow, sol
emp air of heavy responsibility ye may know
him. Before rashly encountering his eagle
eye, offenders should pause. The name of
this prodigy, in the vernacular of our bread
and butter land, is simply Highly, but had he
fourished two thousand years ago, it would
not have been less than julius Cesar, and
might have been Pontius PLATE. To Judge
from the fate of all barnacles, it may in time
be remoddled to hic-be His maiden name
is Tray, and like The poor dog we read of, he
has been tempted into a bad crowd, and will
eventually meet the fate of his illustrious
name-sake, If he is never damned TO such an
everlasting fame. 800 In
But to the point This morning our as
sistant editor, having made his peace with
Heaven and prepared himself for the great
hereafter, ventured to visit the den of this
judicial lion, and gather up his usual morn
ing meal of items. Suddenly he was para
Used by gaze from this immortal Mogul,
and then and there "impeached.'a The Mo
gul constituted himself into quorum, and
with out the least regard to the ''eonstitu-
tion," proceeded to pronounce the articles
of indictment Our Local it seems had
like Re6cker. been laboring under a "delu-,
sion of mind for a week past, and "has
been unconscious of what he was doing"
and in one of his prosy police paragraphs,
had his honor much offended. To drop the
third person singular, we then learned that,
after the manner Of his superior officers, the
Mogul proposed to reconstrct US. While we
| resolved ourselfinto committee of the whole,
he dehvereda valuablelecture on the practical
and abstract duties of a reporter, which we
propose to publish in book form for the ben
eft of the fraternity. We mildly insinuated
that "gvessed" we knew our business as well as
| he did and would make out our items in our
own fashion without anybody's aid" His hon
or thereupon flew into great rage, and re-
minded US very much of Booths Richard
| Third. He denounced US in pointed man
| ner, an like a fine representative of law and
| order declared that if we ever committed
our offense again, and entered his Office, he
would kick US into the street. We express
| ed an opinion, that like ordinary men, b
| would then be amenable to the laws, and
| that as the records are always lawfully open
| to the public, we would examine them when.
ever our duties required US to do so. Ad-
vising US not to be SASSY he then proceed
ed with the other criminal cases, his magis
| terial brow betraying a small wrinkle of out
| ragged majesty, and his eagle eye occasional
! ly wandering back to US with an expression
which froze eur blood, and has since impell-
ed us to diet on Spooner's pills to escape an
| sgue shake. This is the situation. Tray
possesses the documents of the public, and
says we shan't see them except at the haz-
ard of having our brains impaled on the toe
of his boot. Alas for the perils and SORROWS
of the inky craft. Soon will our copperosity
cease to sagaciate. Our epitaph shall be,
mir j0-cy In-rIeitoy.i,,yo scoo71 eO,f ,,e7 hin
in Jun hig bee.