The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-03-14
ISLAND OF KAULA, March

LAM W AAtIa, AhaiCh 4,
To IMr. S9uibo6, Squire. Honolulu:
DEER AND RESPECTED SUR I've seed that yere
letter O. yourn addressed to miself in the Commercial
If-er of February 18th, which were very perlite of
you for showing reespeck to mi orfs in parspectiv
and n member of the infoenshal family of the Smithses.
Il refers to the Mumferdses, them Mothses bein
amost burnt out.) As for the infermashun which
you impart to me in that yere letter o. yourn about
the moo party, that, as the Government Ga seaf says,
is a goin to bodily dispose of the rest of the nation,
and eff they can git a hundred strong, will put the
hull 1853 on 'em, tales and bodies, bosses and dogs,
ment press and Drekter, types and teeth, French
mustard, pills and casterile, etcetery, etcetery, into a
bag to make a big luau off, I'm muchly obleeged to
you, and I'm alters glad to hear from you agin and
agin how that yere party, that's bin stealin along for
so years, is a goin it, and about that yere platform
and comporiensiv lanai for that big luau, and about
Jim and the bar, and who wipt the old lady but eff
you hav eny thort that 1 shood jine that yere moo
party, then mi deer and much respecktid Sur, I say
as Hamlet sed to the COAST,
Don't tech me ="
Kase l can't and 1 won't, and I shan't do no SIGH
thing, for 2 very good resins, which were, fustly, 1
can't stummick that yere iuau. I'm a Suthec n Ohioan,
and 1 woodn't mind rattle snaiks, alligator or niger,
but them kannibels, false teeth and casterile is agin
mi nacher. | coodn't bare them. 2ly-Fm a DEM
ikrot, which all the Smithses, the Mothses, as well
as the Mum;erdses, alters has bin and alters will stick
to. The Demikrattik party is the trew Government
party, and it's the party that's well pervided with
bread and butter, and thar never was a individual
Smith that didn't stick to bread and butter and the
same as that yere moth will suck at the Government
firing pan till his wings stick to the fat and Cuzzin
Bumblebee will stick to Andy Johnson's sideboard as
long as the Demikrattik biveridge is kept STREET, Il
stick to the Government dokter-shop for all its smellin
ruther rank, as long as the oris of Deestrick Jedge
of Kaula is in mi parspecktiv VOC.
That yere Drekter's bin a riting in his noospaper
that he thinks that it will mortef every American to
reed that yere famoos letter, and to hav it made nown
that our Minister of Furrin Affairs is a French adj
vencher and a wafer from Californy, and that our
Minister Of the INTERIOR is an English Dokter, what
tried to make q Twin rs q formast hand bi piesning
wales, but coodn't, and got discharged, tho for all
that, he mite bi this time bin praps q better boat
steerer or mate than Minister of the INTERIOR but,
seq I, what's the orts eff them yere hi orfsers of staff
is French and English; ain: they as trew Demikrats
as His Illness the Dock, and woodn't they travel on
the publik expense jest as well as any other Demikrat,
ef they Good find any kasion to do so? Amt our
Fernandy as good as that yere Fernandy Wood of
New York, and n darned site taller than him, and
about the slickest to handle an elekshun without any
Pluguglies, only by takin sides or half SIDES with such
trew Demikrattic patreots as Bill Ragsdall and others
that's bin a workin thare best for the publk good
and thare own benefit? What's the orts, SEE /, eff
that Jedge of Elekshun was a lookin at them ballots,
eff he thort that thare was Fanians in it and what's
the Orts eff them hi orfsers tuck thar fust start from
the ash-p;t and from nowhars, eff they ar maxim
money and don't the hull history of Demikratsy
tell us that thare never was a Denikrat hi in orfs
that wasn't koinin money as fast as a small mint, in
a hundred ways and mems unbeknown to outsiders?
Jest look at them brite lites of the galorius Demi-
kratsy, Andy johnson, John Morrisey and His Illness
the Dock
Pm bound to keep mi orfs in VOC, and tharfore Pm
bound to uphold our galorius Demikrattik party
what's got the bread and butter. So no more from
yourn, Very eggsidetly,
j. SMITH, d. j.,
Which is Deestrik ledge Of Kaula in parspeetiv, lately Consta-
be. Iestics Pease, etcetery, in the Stait q Texas.