Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-02-19
INTELLECTUAL HASH.


New name for a fog--the air apparent
Counter irritants-habitual shoppers
An alarming feature-a lannon's mouth.
- Questionable hospitality-t!le entertain
meHt Of doubt.
Mrs Psrtington declares that the
only way a Traveller can avoid being killed
by railroad collisions, nova days, is always
to take the other train.
"A warning neeled at fashionable
sssemblages-look ont for the paint.
For a nation to be largely in debt,
IS, in the nature Of things, much to it's
credit.
-"Mary," asked Charles, what animal
dropped from the. clouds 2" 1.-The rain
DEAR" was the whispered reply.
"A lady regular shopper, who had
made an unfortunate clerk tumble over
all the stockings in the store, objected
that none were long enough.
], 81 want" says she, 'the longest hose
that are made"
Then, Madam, you'd better apply at
the engine-house." s TX
Women plow the fields of Austria #ith
ooRs, Who talks about the weaker vessel?
Why are dogs valuable to tanners
Because of the quantity OF bark they yield
"A young man Who received
GLOWING up from his sweetheart called
her "windla8s"
An editor wrote an article on the
fair sex, in the course of which he said
-"Girls of seventeen or eighteen are
fond OF beaux." When the paper was
issued he WAS rather shocked to discover
that an unfortunate typograp hical error
had made him say, Girls of seventeen or
eighteen or fond of beans"
Gen. Phil. Sheridan engagement to
Miss Grace Hilton is called a Grace Phil
alliance
"A good old woman was asked, upon
her death bed, if she was comfortable in
her mind. Very far from it, she
answered. " Then you are not willing to
die !? /" Quite wiling" she said. If
my Father chooses to put me to bed in
the dark, can trust him; it will be all
right in the morning"
Female gymnastics-jumping at an
offer
The best day to we'd Wednesday
Of course
Why was Eve not afraid of The
measles? Because she'd Adam.
---Beecher says, in his new novel:
Half the grace that's g0ihg is nothing
nothing but food Good steak and light
bread are benevolence. Coffee is inspiration
and humor. Good tea is tenderness and
sprightliness. Facts very humbling of
our excellence; but they'er facts"
"A editor says bis connection with
The press has thawed and resolved itself
into adieu.
"A girl with "a ringing laugh Z"
caused an alarm of fire in Peoria. They
goIojk her for BELLE
Two good natured Irishmen, on a
certain occasion, occupied theesame bed
In the morning one Of them inquired of
the other:
Dennis. did you hear the thunder
last night %
"No, Pat, did it rally thunder"
eyes, it Numbered as if hiven and
airth would COME togither."
why in the devil, thin, didn't ye wake
RE, for you know [ can't Shape whin it
thunders'"
---Stuffing improves the fair as we'll
as The foul
"A little three-year old girl, on being,
told that she was too little to have a muff
asked Indignantly Am [ too little to be
cold 2"
-" You want nothing, 90 you" said Pat.
Bedad, an if its nothing you want,
you'll find it in the jug where the whisky
was"
What roof covers the most noisy
tenant The roof of the mouth.
When may funds be supposed to be
unsteady? When money is tight.
A work of art-A widow trying to
get husband.
Troubles are like babies-they grow
bigger by nursing.
Tie harness of life-The traces #
time
Nader colors red. This is the rea-
son why the madden you get, the redder
you grow.
Why are Marys the most amiable Of
their sex? Because they can all be
,,oIl7 6a1