Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1868-09-09
How Became famous as an Editor

How Became famous as All Editor.
John Lamar was an editor; John was also
nv friend. Many were the discussions we had;
for I always insisted that Johns editorials
were not spicy enough that he was not radical
enough; did not keep up with the spirit of the
age; was a little ''old fogyish, - in fact And
so these discussions invariably ended in some
remarks like the following 'sNow John, if
were an editor Of the Uniontown Bugle | could
make-well-at least as good a sheet as any
in the State. ;"
THAT we'll, dear readers, I will tell you pri-
vately, meant that thought could beat any
man in the State editing paper.)
met J ohm one day-in fact, that meeting
is one I am likely not to forget for more rea-
sons than one, as you will see if you will follow
me through the follow thrilling adventure, as
Sylvanus Cobb would say.
I was Fastening "down town. one day in
August, my eyes fixed upon the pavement my
thoughts upon-but that's a secret even from
you, reader-when John came rushing round
the corner, and the by-standers witnessed a
scene of grand and lofty tumbling" that was
not down on the bills. l at last succeeded In
gaining my equilibrium and my breath, while
John recovered his beaver, not improved,
most assuredly, by contact with the dirty
gutter.
''You' re Just the man I m in search of.
s'Wel, you succeeded in running against me
quite soon enough for practical purposes, l
answered, wiping the dust from my clothes
s'T tell YOU was in q terrible hurry to see
you"
II think you was" driy responded.
81 want you to edit the Bugle for a week !;
Ihave to 90 to G. on business"
This announcement would have taken away
nv breath had not the previous encounter al
ready done so for in an instant Imagination
pictured the long Editorials" the spicy
''locals," and the laughter provoking funny
ISM that should render the next Bugle the
ne pzus ultra of newspapers.
/ hastily assured John that [ was ready to
accede to his proposal: and following his foot
steps, mounted three pair stairs to the sane
tum, where John wheeled around the big chair
and thrust pair OF scissors into my hand,
pointed to pile of exchanges, and then rushed
down stairs [ called to him. but received a
reply from the second landing:
'''You will find everything-ask the fore
man" and his voice died out in the distance,
while [ re-entered the saDctum hummlng, Il
am monarch of all survey" [ was settling
nv mind whether I should head my first 'edi-
torial' "Our Country as it is" 'The Great
Rebellion, or French Interference" when
Copy p sounded 10 my ears, and the "devil'
stood grinning at me, evidently enjoying the
start with which [ had greeted the first sound
of his voice.
hastily cut out the first item which my
eyes CHANGED to light upon, an anecdote OF
Charles v, and returned to my writing. |
had hardly finished my first line when the door
opened, and this time the foreman entered.
"We want copy for the inside" he said the
outside is already made up" and handed back
the anecdote that had just sent to the COM
positors.
I think must have looked blank,-I know
I felt so-for the idea that particular kind
Of CODY was required for a particular side OF
the paper was something entirely new to me.
I hesitated moment, took up paper and
cut out an article headed Our Country and
Her Wants. not noticing that the paper was
rank Republican sheet, and the article one
abusing the Democratic party in general:
had hardly reached a paragraph IN my
''leader" ere another call came for more copy, "
and 50 it was for the next six hours Ihe day,
closed, but could not say the same of my leader.
Alas! it had only reached its fourth paragraph.
And allow me to say right here, that was all it
ever reached. [ had the modification of see.
ing the paper go to press without "long lead
er in my best style;' in fact, there was not a
line of my writing 10 its columns.
The chagriu which this thought caused was
nothing, however, to what was to follow. |
leave it to the reader to depict my feelings when,
upon the damp sheet, [ read the different ar
ticles had selected. The first, as [ have al
ready said, was an article against the admins.
tration; the next an equally abusive one against
the Democratic nominee for CongresS-a favor
ite man OF the party, and particular friend OF
mine, as the numerous stump speeches OF last
summer would prove. =.
There was paper most intensely Republl,,
can (it one could Judge from its contents) issued
from Democratic office. [ laid down the pa
per, and as sense of my ridiculous position
over balanced every other feeling. burst out
laughing; but my laughter was cut short by the
enterance of the would be ii. c., whose coun-
tenance betokened anything but mirth, and q
"What's the meansng of this?' said the
wrathful Nj. c., as he shook the offensive paper
in my face In vain I explained and apollo
gized He met me with the constant query ::
why didn't you read the article, or at least
see that you cut it from Democratic paper p
''Sure enough why didn't I?'
At last he closed his angry language by call
ing me beautiful editor, which [ considered,
as Artemus Ward says, Ga little sarcasticle; -
rather dubious compliment for man VIII Q
had all his life been criticisng other editors and
lauding his own skill-albeit his untried skill.
But my troubles did not end here. Wher-
ever | went | was greeted with mock humility
as r. Editor" till life became most unen-
durable.
John forgavc me- and still called me his
my, feelings by illusions to the lengthy edito-
1lals wrote and the great popularity [ obtain
ed as editor of the Uniontown Bugle.
When | hear man crjticizlng an editor,
always wish that he could pass through my ex-
perlence, and learn, as learned, how easy it is
to become famous as an editor. x.
LIQUID RENNET, for sale by
IA BROOKES & TAYLOR,
sept los Princa street