Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-12-25
CoNFEDRIT X. RoAns,
November %, 1865.

-'@ NAA+ ~ --Af 4QH1a
Last evenin | happened to pick up III
Northern noospaper Nv the Dimikratie per
suasion wich comes to this Office to Deekii
Pogram, into wieh was article onto eTb,
Fucher Nv Democracy. The able and die
nifed writer took the posishen that Ii,
only hope Nv the Democrisy was in Iettir
+ the dead past bury its dead-in sinkin al
the ishoos Nv the past ten years-in ae
knowledgin the sitooashen, and aeceptin thc
results Nv the war; in sinkin out Nv site the
Old leaders, AMI putin such men ez Chase
Seward, John Quincy Adams, Jr., Evarts
Rosecrantz, etc, to the front, and thus hevir
inioosoa ROW life and new blood into the or
ganization, it mite go on conkerin and tc
conker
! The article wuz a column and half in
length, and its weakness NV mine that
cant read more than column without goin
to sleep. Therefore at the end Of the col
umn the paper dropt from my hand, and l
dropt of into gentle slumber in my chair.
and dreamed dream.
In my dream before me lay the body nv a
man NV gigantic frame which was breath
IN his last. He he'd bin powerful yooth
in his day, and hedn't the appearance Nv
bein very old in years, tho his hair was
gray, bis cheeks sunken and his form frite-
fully emaciated. His age wuz evidently the
effect Nv dissipashen more than Nv years
wikkidnis he'd did its perfeck work on him.
and it was plane that he wuz a goner.
Around him stood all sorts NV people
There wuz Vallandigham, the Blairs. Huff
man, the Woodses, Vorhees, Hampton,
Morrissey, Mrs. Cobb, Mrs. Perry between
these two A. Johnson) aud many more Nv
that stripe, who appeared to be indearorin
TO resussitate the nearly defuuct individual.
Who is this ruther bustid patriark %
asked | Nv one who appeared to be chief
moumer.
That's Democrisy," answered he: ''he
has fought his larst battle, no gong kin
awake him to glory agin He's a gone
sucker.
At this pint the operators on the unfor-
tunate sufrer gave up in despare.
Il kin do nothin," sed Seymour, "that
last exershun was his last. 1 shall HE me
to my farm
Il knowd it Wuz uselis, sed Vallandig
ham. Il shell leave Ohio aud 60 to Moo
York, for any body kin git to Congress from
that city
Il kin do more," sed voorhees,, Il sbel
quit politics and go to operatin in Erie
stocks /"
Erie stocks" romarkt Mrs. Perry, with
horror in her classic countenance, thank
the Lord, | am not so low ez that
At this pint lot ny hungry looking euss-
es, not so prominent ez these others, de-
manded that the pashent be put into new
hands for treatment, and to wunst they call
ed out for Chase, Sewart, Evarts, Rose
cranse and John Quincy Adams, Jr., who
heVin no other place to stay wuz hangiu
on the outskirts Nv the crowd. Promptly
they examined the dyin cuss and proceeded
to apply the remedies.
This is one thing that's KILN him, sed
Chase, cauternin hidjus ulcer marked
Slavery
This must come of, sed Evarts, whip
pin out knife and takin off foul smellin
tumor labelled States Rites
''And I'll never consent to be seen with
him eff this is allowed to remain, - sed Rose
crance, slashin oat cancer marked 'iSe-
cession.
And this must come off eff I hev any
thing to do with him" scd John Quincy
Adams, Joonyer, jerkin off most fearful
tumor, marked 'Repooderashen.
And so they went on, one after another,
Que pulliu OF tb;e ,htug, ana another that
this one burnin out this sore, and another
that, till they he'd peeled it to the bones.
When they he'd got the diseased parts off
ther wuz nothin left but the skeleton. 1t
wuz very genteel skeleton, ez clean Nv
flesh ez though it he'd bin disseeted by an
enthusiastic class Nv medikle students.
They then commenced buildin Nv it up
Chase put on Ekal Rites muscle; Evarts
stuffed Nashnel creditin the hole Repoodi-
ashen he'd made; Rosecrans stiFened Its
back with loyalty-t they iumigated it, breath
ed into its nostrils, and wrappin it in the
Star Spangled Banner, histed it to his feet.
1t wuz rather shaky on its pins, but it
breathed free, and was altogether more
promisin and presentable bein than it he'd
bin for years.
We were all rejoist, and yet we wuzn' t so
well pleased, after ALL He was gittin
stronger, but bis appearance wuz changin
so that we didn't know him There wuz
color cum to his cheeks, he lost his brootal
look, be slept free, and be gave evidences
NV life and strength that wuz wonderful.
''Thank the Lord, sed the Blairs, hes
strong enough to be ridden aginr'
please Heavenn' sed Vallandigham,
my troubles is o. er, for there strength in
Dimocrisy
Let mount" sed they in korus, and
forthwith Montgomery Blair crept up onto
his thighs, with the whole family on his
shoulders, each one Nv wich twisted his legs
about him with death grip, The new re-
joovenated giant staggered under this, but
did not fall. Mavor Monroe and his Lou
isiana crowd vaulted onto bis shoulders, the
Woodses, and Hoffman and Vallandigham
and Voorhees, and Brte, and thousand more
NV the same style, and each loaded with his
record.
''For Gods sake, " cried Chase, Seward
and Rosecrance. "for Gods sake git Off
He amt strong enuff to stand all that He
can't carry the loads that nigh killed him
the diseases that yoosed him up-any better
now than he could before, Git of-git
off,
ttr,.. -or3., u .l....u l., IL o,ct 4.