The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-04-04

soBBr why don't your mother rev IN
your trousers ?" 'Caase she's At TIE vestry,
4 sewing foF-the heathen."
Az honest Dutchman on being asked how
often he shaved, replied ssDree dimes n
week every tay put Socntey; den ] shafe
"A cool specimen Of humanity stepped into
printing office out West 70 beg a paper.
because" said he, I'VE like to read news
papers very much, but our ueighbors are
too stingy TO take one"
r'Mr. Jones, you said you were connected
asn- the fine arts; do you mean that YOU are
sculptor r. 'No sir, don't s.nIp myseIG
es fnrnlsh the stone to the men hat
"WHo's there ~ said Robinson. one cold
winter night, disturbed In his reposs by
some one KNOCKING az the street door. "A
TREND" was the answer. aWhat d. YOU
wsutg" want to stay ali night" nOuyer
taste, amt it But stay there by All neans.n
Eas~tne benevolent reply.
I'm reply TO Ike's question or Gwb.+ M-
Seward meant when he said. he xantad I,
Thomas for codlin0 station" Mrs. par
tlngton (after rubbing her forehead thopcht.
fully Tor moment with the bow az har siI-
yer spectacles) replied, at must be becansa
it shakes so, Isaac, and il therefore Oood
place to SIT The Ashes."
"A lady says the first time she WAS k;auad
sne felt like q tub OF roses swimming N
honey, cologne, nutmeg and eranherr;aa
She felt also as if something was rprr;ns
through her nerves on feet az diamondS 80
corted by several little cnpids. ia chariota
drawn by angels, shaded BY honeysuckles-
and the whole spread with melted rainbows.
A man who had undertaken editorship
without previous training, had 20 describe
the unceremonious burial Of a woman. ana
wrote; ''She was buried like dog with her
clothes on" Seeing his mistake, he cor
reeted It thus: "She was buried with her
clothes on like dog" The third time, ex.
asperated with the previous blunders, he
had Il thus: Like q dog with her clothes
on she was buried" He then gave Il ~.
"Bor, did you let of that gunl'' exclaim.
ed an enraged schoolmaster.
eyes, SIR"
you?"
''Why, let me off"
"JAke, did yer like them poached eggs
what Sary gin yer Tor dlnner.'
"Aew bet, Sammy; what makes You asks''
cob, nothin, only they was 81 axes eggs,
what the hired man found ander the
barn y
A little boy in Lowell was asked how
many mills make cent. "Ten, sir" was the
prompt rcnl~. Immediately bright-faced
little girl held up her han in token Of dis.
sent.
swell, miss, what have you to sassn
"Please, sir, ten mills don make cent.
Pa says all the mills in toxI don't nake
cent?
t.Sir," said one Of two antag vnists. With
great dignity to the other, during a dispute
which had not been confned to wor.'s, 'iyou
have called me liar and q scoundr n, YOU
have spit 10 my face and struck me twl,e.
hope you will not arouse the sleeping lion
in my breast, for II you should, Lcanno. tell
what may be the consequences y
A young and pretty girl stepped into
store where young man, who had long
been enarnored, but could not speak, stood
behind the counter. Ia order 10 remain as
long as possible, she cheapened ever ything;
At last she said: " beheye you think am
cheating yoa." ~
"Oh, mo z Was tina nsply; i..iO me you are
always FUR ~
"WelI," whispered the lady, DIushiuv, az
she lad an emphasis on the word, 81 would
not stay 80 long bargaining, if you were not
so dsdr Z"
JOSH BnLNGs defines a "tburrer bred
bizzlness man !"
'Wun that knows enuff about stealth, soft
there kant anybody steel from n and enuT
about law, 50 that he kin DO his stealin L.
gally."
TuE following letter is perfect model il
its way:
"Dear brother, I've voe,Spe Of the hand
soonest farms IN the State, an have it near
" paie for. Crops are good, ana>Frices new
er better We have had a glorious syivaI
OF religion in our church, and botu Of our
children Che Lord be praised) are converted.
Father got u be rather an incumbent, and
last week | took bim TO the poor house.
Your afecJionate Brother.