Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1868-08-14
FRIDAY, AUGUST u. Isss.
gest CircuiatiOn in City and State.
MURFREESBORO.
The Ugly CIub-OpPOsition tO the IEu-
KIux and MiIItia-A BOmb from the


refreshingly different from these staple pro-
ducts Of conversation and newspapers, and
/ hope you will bear with me in brief
description Of the "Sione's River ugly
Clnb" and its fret celebration. "Ugly
Clubs" being something new 10 Middle
Tennessee, j would have been compelled TO
acknowledge my ignorance with regard TO
there origin, had il not been for the
graphic account given by the President
Col. Robinson, in the opening speech Of
the organization of the club in the garden
Of Eden, where Adam was President, the
monkey ugly man, the peacock the repre-
sentative Of vanity, etc. After an amusing
aud dentertaining accounted theirmeeting be
announced that Adam had been their first
President, he was their last; leaving ns in
wondering uncertainty whether the gentle
men before US we're the animals aforesaid,
or whether Adam had lived into the
present century, for It was evident
from the youthful faces that he must
have done 30 to be contemporary with them.
Col. r. presented Mr.. Baskette, who, as
ugly man, stood FIRST on the roll Of the
1aeky nine''-whom the partiality of their
friends, or their own intrinsic merits, had
consigned 10 immortality-with pair Of
boots, as a delicate hint to take his ugly
mug" out Of sight As he came forward,
with a bow, 10 receive his boots, l thought
that he had most wofully ''abused the priyi-
leges men have TO be ugly" and could
heartily agree with the critic Of the Occa
sion that mature meant to insult the COM
munity. when she sent such specimen Of
her handiwork amongst US" But as Tai
leyrand Tor some other mani said Of Ma
dame de Stael, "she could talk herself into
a beauty in fifteen minutes" so when he
began 10 speak wittily and we'll in return
ing thanks for his present, we ceased to con-
slider him so horribly homely though Ma
dame de Stael herself, couldn't have talked
that face into positive beauty. Next in
order came the "pretty man." Capt. B. l..
Ridley, dressed in all his best, with col
lar which would have made Beau
Brummel die of agony. He received a
chat to protect his beautiful complexion
from the admiring rays of the sun. He is
a dangerous youth, as you would admit, had
I you heard him recount his various
adventures; how it was for his
sake that Sappho sprang into the sea, that
the Queen Of Sheba had composed the
hDik lAdhA luOu nO IEGlluE III u VAIN
effort to soften his hard heart, that S-mira-
mus was found dead with his photograph
clasped 10 her heart, and that "Calais"
which Queen Mary said would be found
craven on her heart after death was only
pet name she had for him, and it was all a
mistake Of the historians TO suppose she
had any reference TO a French city Of that
name Before pass on let me say that l
abominaie that word "pretty" as applied
to anything nobler than poodles, and to
hear it applied TO a splendid-looking,
kingly man like Capt. r., reminded me Of
the old lady who, standing at my elbow
meath the spray Of the falls, pronounced
Niagara "nice!'
Mr.. Jimmie Leiper, who has just finished
his course at Washington College, where
he gained many laurels, came forward ss
the representative of vanity, and received
az his reward of merit, a large mirror in
which to contemplate his many charms.
Many and varied were the champions of
vanity whom he recalled to our minds
from the days Of Narcissus and Alcibiades
to the Prince of Wales and Tom Thumb.
There was but one objection TO be made 10
Mr.. Leiper's speech, il was too beautiful
and eloquent TO be entirely appropriate TO
the occasion,
Capt. KillOugh, who must be seen and
known TO be properly appreciated, came
blushingly forward and received pair OF
ladies excuse me-gdrt6Ts as q type of
his devotion to the fair sex in his sphere
as "ladies' man." He must be popular with
the sterner sex as well as the fairer, for
his appearance was greeted with rounds OF
applause, and his speech was enthusiast
cally cheered from beginning 10 end. Next
came the lazy man, Mr.. Willie Lillard,
who received from his sympathizing com
peers, a rocking chair. After one or two
vain efforts to arouse himself sufficiently
TO speak he subsided into his chair and
begged US to excuse him, he was so sleepy
Then the baby Of the club, Col. .Jetton, waa
brought forward to receive his candy stick,
which stick, ak feet long and weighing
twenty pounds, made me regret that Ugly
Clubs had not been an established institn-
tion in the days of my jnvenility. The
baby, in the language of Artemus Ward,
was a "healthy old darling" of twenty five
summers, six feet high and fourishing
moustache; and evidently of much more
interest to several fair ladies sitting near
me. kuhu II llC udO DtGn USUAL OAtuOhNA
size for babies.
Mr.. Sam Larving having received 81
auger az emblematic Of his prowess rs :
bore" came forward with a bow, drew
/ about four quires Of closely written foOls
( cap from his pocket and laid it on the table
for reference in case he forgot his speech
cleared his throat and began: "Ladies anC
gentlemen: p "ShadeS Of Job He must b
q second Henry S. Foote Does the man in
tend TO keep US here all night2" thought ]
when he continued, 81 don't propos'
making speech, gathered up bis fools
cap and retired 10 our infinite relief -
Mfr. James Jamison, fer being the great
est hlov, received an enormous tin horn
and we'll he deserved it, if his speech is !
fair sample of his usual style Of oratory
Shades Of Falstaf and Munchauson hid
your diminished heads A. Gordon Pym
burn the record of your adventures, an'
/ acknowledge yourself beaten at your owI
weapons If Gen. Lee had known on
1.-THE OF the adveatures of this favont
student ne would have had abundant reasoi
for his remark that che felt proud of youn
Jsmisohw
Last, but not least, for he's six feet three
OF the lucky nine came the critic, Mr.
Thomas Eaton. He received a pair
green goggles, which, however, they ma
have aided his vision to discern the fault
Of his friends, were assuredly no advaniag
to his personal appearance; and nature ha
qualified him for no mean place IN th
ranks Of an Ugly Club. His speech wa
humorous rather than witty, aud his saT
castle praises Of his fellew-sutlerers in th
ranks of ugliness were highly entertain
| ing. Taking them in their order he b
oil the peculiarities of the nine with muc
sncoess, 10 Judge from the laughter aud ap
plause Of Tie audience. Many Of his II
ierences 10 the adventures OF his his friend
which the audience enjoyed greatly, weI
uninielligihle 20 me as a strapgeT. But
spite Of my Ignorance with regard TO som
kits. have seldom been more entertained
The ceremonies were closed Unexpectedly
be audience, by Representation 10 the Clu
al a beautiful banner made by the ladis
al Murfreesboro. The flag was presente
on the part Of the ladies 10y Mr.. Gii
Baskette, who, owing 10 the lateness oil Oh
hour. made no extended speech, but pr
septed il with few beautiful, pointed An
approximate remsrks.l lt was received G
the part of the Club by DIR. Ridley, who
/ once bad the Measure Of meeting