New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1868-02-04
"The Nice Yonnc NTnn 9

The Round Table draws picture of this
ubiquitous parsonage, the exquisite dainti-
ness of which can be equaled only by that
of its original. We commend it (the repre-
sentation, of course,) to the attention Of
our young lady friends. 1t would be vain
to expect the hero OF the sketch to heed the
lesson it inculcates. He lacks at once the
applic ton to read it, the wit to appreciate
its points, the sense and nodesty to profit
by them.
Everybody knows the nice young man ;
every body has seen him. He is that mild
and pleasing person VINO says, "0h, yes ~
and "Ah, indeed p with so much vivacity
who is always the first to hand round the
ices at the party who knows all about all
the weddings and engagements and balls
who escorts mamma to her carriage and suf-
iers her to converse at him so amiably. He
seldom talks much, but he is so nice. Gen
orally he is in the dry goods line. He has
been known to attempt to teach in Sunday
school, but the mental ezerLion is com
monty too severe. His personal appear
ance is not remarkable. He is usually fair,
with light hair and blue eyes. 1t is desira-
BILE that he should have mustache, straw
colored, if possible, and in size like an ex-
aggerated eyebrow. His dress must be SO
perfect as to leave, like himself, no definite
impression on the mind except one of ex-
treme niceness, and his back hair should al
ways be parted in an exact line with the
seam of the collar. Brains in moderation
are not, as re nave already intimated, an
ass0iate objection, but their possession
shoRld be carefully hidden. Ideas are fatal
to his supremacy. One of the incest young
men we ever knew lost forever his proud
pre-eminence from the fatal accidental com
mission of thought. But feelings he may,
indeed must, constantly exhibit it is in
dispensable that the real nice young man
shnuld be as sensitive as new author or a
public functionary accused Of peeulation.
He may play little on the piano, or, bet
ter sssi;n, sssi;n ea the gaitaE, and occasionally sing
to his own accompaniment in an ebtrusive
tenor; sometimes he paints nicely, and Of
ten writes poetry OF sentimental nature
not fatiguingly intellectual, and he dances
-ohl re dances divinely.
OF course the description is incomplete; !;
all general descriptions of necessity are
SO. We have known nice young men, for
instance, who were dark, and who knew
neither how to play nor to draw, nor to
write poetry, nor to danee-who knew
nothing a. all, in fact, except to be always
nice, and who were so little sensitive as to
be impervious to the most pointed and per-
sonal objurgations. Other nice young
men, too, have we known who surrephtious-
ly smoked and ehewed and drank, who
have even played old sledge in private;
but these were spurious limitations of the
genuine article-WolVes in sleeps cloth
ing, The type Of nice young man we
have sketched we believe to be not only
the most common, but also the most popu-
lar. OF course it varies with local tastes,
customs, and prejudiees. The nice young
man of Boston is very different creature
from the nice young man of New York, and
the nice young man of Philadelphia bears
not the remOtest likeness to either, or in-
deed to anything else in human semblanee.
The nice young man OF Boston, for exam
Pile, is sometimes prig; the nice young man
of New York is oftener a snob; the nice
young man of Philadelphia is usually tolus
tereS atqae rotlndas, cipher, the euriosa
felicitas of nullity. Again, the nice young
man of Boston who has no brains is permit
ted to gil that cavity which should hold
them with weak solution Of equal parts
Of Emerson and Kant the nice J0ung man
of New York, who has brains, is required to
sAToud their existence in the profoundest
mystery; the nice young man Of Philadel-
phla never has brains. The first admires
nothing that he understands; the second
understands nothing that he admiTes the
third understands nothingg and admires
only himself and Philadelphia. And so
on. Besides, there are Bumberiess FaFie-
ties produced again by mere fluctuations in
feminine tastes and in the fashion OF nice
ness. The nice young man OF year ago
may be as different from his representative
of to-day as last seasons beaver from the
prevailing tie. Miss Gigglesby's nice
Young man in no respect resembles Miss
Snigeerby's; mammals is not the one with
whom Arabella exchanged hearts aud hair
and photographs; the nice young man Of
Betty, the housemaid, is not the object OF
her mistress devotion. The niesness in
all these cases Is relative, an arbitrary
quality reflected, rather than actusl, and
subject to optical delnsi0n. But each is, Ia
his own circle. to all intants aud purposes a
nice young man.