The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-05-09
Paying for zach otner.

-... FFUuI u9e NeU 1OTE -olutt.
In Russia. certainly. in France, we
believe, and in most other parts OF
Europe, the American custom .among
gentlemen OF paying for each other on
all occasions OF amusement, or In res
taurants, is utterly unknown. We do
not refer, OF. course, TO special and di-
rect invitations to accept hospitality,
We refer only to the ordinary occasions
in which gentlemen accompany each
other to theaters or concerts, or to n
restaurant, or to bar. On all such
occasions it is as much matter OF
pride for gentleman to pay for him
self as IL Is when he buys q new coat
or pair OF boots. One gentleman no
more thinks of paying for another than
he would think of giving him piece
of money or buying him pair of
gloves. 1t would be Insulting to him.
This seems very strange to an Amer
lean. Weare so accustomed to paying
for one another that we have come to
regard 1t as natural custom of society.
If we reflect one moment, however, we
see that pride, in the intercourse of
gentlemen, is q merely conventional
matter. What arouses gentleman's
indignant pride in one country is re-
garded as an act of common hospitali-
| Ey in another. So what we would do as
an act of hospitality, and because of
our own pride, a European would re-
frain from for fear of insulting his
friend. In either case it is a mere
matter of custom, and SO far as warm
heartedness or hospitality is concerned,
1t indicates nothing whatever. If we
consider it sign OF hospitality to pay
| for n friend, when we happen to accom-
pany him to a theater or to a bar, why
do we not consider 1t equally sign of
hospitality TO insist on paying for his
hat when we enter a store with him?
To-, ct N,
both as a matter of convenience and
tells you the price of your ticket as he
hands 1t to you; and you return him
the money. In America you request u
friend to buy you pair of gloves or an
umbrella or necktie, while he is in the
street. He does not hesitate to tell you
its price and to accept the money. 1t
would be indicate for him not to do
SO. II, however, you go to a thenter
together, he hurries on before you,
buys two tickets and is inSulted If you
offer TO pay your share. To do such u
thing in Europe would be as indelicate
as 1t would have been for him to have
declined payment for the gloves, &c.
Now, IL, as we see, this is merely
conventional matter, the only question
is us TO which custom is the more
agreeable, In the general intercourse OF
sOoiety-the European or the Ameri-
can? .a-.
No one, We think, can deny that our
custom is in very many respects u dis
readers, probably, has frequently felt
that he would much prefer. to pay for
himself-and ut times, too, that others
should pay for themselves. So far as
expense is concerned, 1t makes no
difference whatever, except that our
custom weighs most heavily upon the
thoughtlessly generous men; but the
custom is avery annoying one. Two
gentlemen cannot walk com fortably TO
a theatre with each other; each is am
bilious to be ahead and so there Is q
subdued scramble, a race, n push, as
they approach the ticket otice. A
meal Mt restaurant usually gives rise
10 II discussion except where there has
been a special invitation, and no one
has escaped the annoyances in general
of the American custom. Amounting
to the sRme thing in the end, the
European custom is simple, convenient
and agreeable. Each gentleman pays
for himself on all occasions and lie Is
expected to do so. There can he no
discussion; no annoying haste; no dis
play of money.
Our observations of social habits
leads us TO believe that American gen
lemen are adopting more and more
generally the European custom. 1t il
not common now, as IL was II few years
ago, where two acquaintances meet in
the cars, for one of them to pay for
both. Gentlemen frequently go 10 tho
theatre together, aud pay each for
themselves; SO of restaurants. and other
places of entertainment or amusement.
The most serious view OF the two
customs Is their relation to temperance.
Men in America drink repeatedly at
bars when they have no desire to do
SO. One gentleman wishes to show his
hospitality to another; the other wish
es to show his good feeling by, accept
ing; neither is thirsty, but they both
go into a bar-room to "take drink. J"
This is done q thousand times a day in
the City of New York. Men drink
simply to show their friendly regard
for each other. If they merely drank
when they desired to drink, and each
paid for himself, as Is the custom in
Europe, evil habits would not be form
ed more rapidly than the natural ap-
petite would form them. In this view
the American custom among gentle
men, of paying for each others
drinks" ut bars, and thus making 1t
cious and very dangerous. In Europe,
gentlemen drink liquor only when
they desire to drink it-if they happen
TO meet each other they drink together,
but each pays for himself, and refusal
of course is no breach of hospitality.
We think the time is coming, and
trust it will come soon, when the whole
American system OF theatre-going, res
taurant and bar-room hospitality viii
be changed, when It will be as much a
matter of pride for each gentleman to
pay for himself, as 1t is in other direc-
tons. There will still be ample room