The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-11-28
From HPunch."


uVIRGINIBUs GARcoNIBUsQUE. Mind what
you say before parlor-maids and walters.
NEW GHosT MELoDY.-A critic speaks of
'the apparition of a dramatic singer OF such
indisputable promise as Miss Minnie Hauck."
But is it not Miss Hauck herself who is sing
ing at Covent Garden Why then startle Us
with the idea that it is her ghost and delude
perhaps thousands in search OF new sensa-
tion to 90 to the theatre possessed with that
notion 7 We do not doubt that dramatic
singing appariton would draw immensely, il
one could be engaged.
THE ENGLISH PRIMAcY.-It cannot be denied
that many holders of the see of Canterbury
have committed, at various times, various
blunders; but at all events, it must be true,
that whatever his after career may be, every
new bishop commences by succeeding.
THE VERY PRELATE FOR THE SEE.-Dr. Jen-
nier, the Bishop elect of New Zealand, is said
to be very unpopular in Maori-land because Of
his Ritualist opinions. Nonsense Consider
ing how keen the new maniscs are for novel
ties in the Church, we should say that if ever
there was a case of the right man in the right
place, it is a Ritualist in New-Zeal-land.
FROM THE PoULTRY-When does hen like
beer2 When she has little brood.
"THE ACT OF SETTLEMENT. "-Having pin
money.
AMRRICANIzIEG OUR LANGUAGE.-If our fore
fathers get the papers in the Elysian Fields,
they must be greatly puzzled by some OF the
expressions the writer's now use. For example,
when they read of "the bad effects of the
stump upon our most eminent men," the
meaning they are likely to extract from such
a passage is, that our most eminent men are
beside themselves with toothache, a painful
impression which they probably exchange for
the very bewildeTiDg notion that this stump
is some new musical instrument with which
1,al 1Nofa al IN,
their leisure hours, and perhaps delight their
constituents, when they read farther on of
'Mr Gladstone's and Mr.. Bright's perform
ances on the stump" .lIN ..t ..
BENJAMIN OUT OF HIS MESS.
They said Monte Christie was damned;
But the dams must be broken, tits plain
For if it was damned the first night,
1t is certainly running again.
DISCHARGE WITHOUT RspoRT.-A Ser
want Dismissed without Character.
A CLERICAL GUN.-We think that the last
new thing in guns is likely to be very useful
in the coming battle, and we should like to
know something about it. The invention is
called Parsons Converted Cannon. If this will
not help the Church, what will?
WHEN are Parsons bound in honor not to
abuse Theatres ? When they take Orders.
HooP DE DooDBN Doo.-Sr Richard Mayne's
order against Little London Dogs Hoops has
created a great excitement in certain circles
SWEET THING TO SAY.
Irou-grey middle-aged Gentleman (who has
been for some time using Leadbitter's Hair Re-
storer) to good-natured Friend.-Eh / say,
Scruggles, it seems to me that my hair has
lately got darker.
ggles.-Very likely. Your hair seems
have got darker because your eyes have got
DINNER.
INEvTABLE,-People are very angry with
the member for Westminster for taking upon
him to issue certificates of character to candi-
dates, right and left. lie says he has right
to back up his friends; and, after all, if you go
in for Mill, you must have hacker.
NEW FASHION.
See an advertisement thus headed and
worded:-
VEGETABLE HAIR.-Best quality. Whole
sale price"
Carrots, of course.
THE SCHooLMAsTER (wANTED) ABRoAD.-The
great want in Spain is education for the
masses. They have got their Prim, but
they still stand in grievous need of their
primer.