The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1868-11-17
Tie Josh Billings Papers.
Az ASA or LONG BRANCH.


Long Braneh Is = work OF na,ur, and IL
good job.
II ia summer resort for men, wimmin
and chi3rea, especially the latter.
Ghihirea are az plenty here, aud az swec,
~ GowerS Ia an outdoor ga.dn.
TAey play IN the sand for work. and git
thor ieei wet iur fun.
Their IL sum a,,emp, At style here, but
tie pTeyoiiing disease IL good ssuse: VI
eau zoe ibis stick oui in The way people ak
it usira, aal easy, aui don't tag to outolrp
each other in weanng clothes and them ex
quisite
didn't see but ono woman here who was
dresse, too ekonomikal, and her ,leSs was
plenty az enough at the bottom, bu, the
front side OF her shoulders seemed tew lack
sumthins
put dp at the Continental Hotel, lear
the rooi % the bnililng. FROM choice.
kan say that this house is kept good
deal, vii, nsnlraiziHg my dignity, Tor |
pal; tte same price that the rest Of the
boardets did for my yit,els
shall "a up he,e sgin when cum, if
have lew staddle the ridge pole.
never leave good hotel for better
one learnt this fishing Cor irogs. | |
am where the fr g bite good, that my pud-
die. | have known folks to swap a good
horse for a poor one. jist for the sake of
$40 tew boot.
Aly wife puts up with me at the same ho-
tel ; it u an old.iashioned way we have OF
doing things
She always goes to fashionable resorts
where yung widders are cnnyways plenty,
to put 'em on my guard. Tor am one OF
tie eazyest critters on record to be imposed
upon.
She has saved me (by the hare of the
head mise tiian sis times alreddy, from
being splt by the widders.
She is an ornament tew her secks-my
wife IL
would ike tew see a young wilder, or
emmy other man cit the start ov me when
my wife IL around.
II list step out sudden tew get a solder
cocktail tew cool my aching brow, my wife
goes tcw the end of the verandy with me,
and waits for me. aud it go down onto
the beech to astronomi2e list a little. all
alone by noon,te. she stands on tn, blgff,
like beacon lite, tow watn me ov the
breakers
No man whoze feet are slippery. and
who hain't been accidentally insured agains
recent Hidders, ougb 10 be allowed on the
Branch thou, wife who understands
her biz.
The hotels now are PLAT with folks, awl
ov whom oekt fust rate, except the pasky
widders, and don't see ennythirg so very
awful about them, but my wife duz, and
and she knows.
The biggest thing they have got here for
the present, is the pool Nv water in front
of the hotel. THIS POOL SAID bi good Judge,
tew be 300C mules long and sum places )
miles thick.
luto this pool, every day at 10 o'clock.
ihe folks ali retire males, females and Wild
ders, promisSnss.
They dress in flannel attire, ov menny
colours, aud look az near alike, when they
are in the pool, az flock ov ducks and
brakes.
The water in this pool haz stood so long
1t haz got salty, and ought ,ew be change,i
aud belaave they have got a bili bttrl The
M jersey legislator Tor that purpose, but
M jersey folks are shy about ulcing ex.
petiments, They are willing tew invest
little sumthing in ded sure thing. but
don't think they will ever undertake tc
fresheu the pool.
The Gierian Crook is prevailing here Just
now amung the yang adys.
The bend seems tew be sumwhare neal
the small NV their backs, ami gives them
very tnteleS,ual look, the same az the an
shunt GREEKS had, altha-i think their walb
resemble taw much sore foo,e goose.
The turnoutS are mkoumon menny, aud
silk, four ID hand are frequent. / had the
espe>hall honol oy Being slung around the
butiul ayenews aad through the queenly
grounds ov Mrs. Huoy hi four whlte.tooted
sorrels dressed in rasset and white harness
and driven tew an elegant drag by THEN
owner, Prof. Eastman, OF 20 keepsie.
set up on the back seat az stuff az a
bridegroom, and evry boldly seemed tew
hav their eyes close reeicd on us
Tue Hon. Abiah Palmer, Of the Moo
York Senate, sat with the Professor, and
the Rev. Henry Frost supported me-
The bands OF musk front OF the differ
cnt hotels played fol us,
| must say | let . li.te big.
And il amt 10 be ondered at, for hay
bin uch in the habit, oy ,a,e years, ov go
ing aioot when | rode.
The scenery here IL grand, especially the
pool, and the air IL as bracing as milk
puntch.
The tables are full oy yiules, and thc
servants are az polite ~ dancing masters
J gave one. ov them 80 cent shmplas,er
ana he opened and shut IN front oy me FOL
five minutes. AZ easy ~ ak knife tina, hac
been recently creased.
Drinks are reasonable, cspcshly on, o,
the pool, and cigars must be plenty an,
cheap, judging from the vast concourse o.
stub ends Icing around loose on the lawns
b The last touch Of civilization has final
reached Long Branch. Some entcrprisin
missionary has just opened club house
where all kinds of gambling IL Taught.
leave tomorrow At , o'clock y. NJ,
4. 4.tsti --------aS. ~~-.---s s.-------.