The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-12-13
WET AND YsDoM.

The verse Of the world-Uniyerse.
The best board of health-A light diet.
A creation of " the fancyn-A black eye.
What trade is more than FULL Fuller.
Fair dealing is the bond and cement of society.
Youth looks at the possible, age at the prob
ablo.
Incredible rs it may seem, many of the rich
est planters in Jamaica live on coffee grounds.
What class of people raise the most -four
the bakers.
Beneath ones Observation-Disclosures on the
pavement.
The best thing an artist can draw Gin his own
feyes) is q larse price for his works.
Things are often impossible because coward
ice makes them SO.
No snow falls lighter than the snow of age
none heavier,fo for it never melts.
An Arabian bend--a humpbacked camel.
Grecian bend-a humpbacked woman
When Autumn is married to Winter, the we'd
ding cake is always frosted.
Cheap generosity-Giying man a piece of
your mind.
The most precocious child ever heard of,
probably, is the child that's father to the
man." -
Husband" I can't express my detestation of
your conduct" "Well, dear, Pm very glad
you can't"
A poor, thoughtless old gentleman sat down,
the other day, on the spur of the moment. His
screams We're frightful.
The more honesty man has the less he af-
fects the air of saint; the affectation of sane
tity is q blotch on the face of piety.
Money continues tight" The old story.
Money ought to reform it's habits. 1t will very
soon be as bad as the world in general.
If you should happen to meet a friend in
need, remember that you do not know how
soon yon may need friend.
To BENEDIcTs.-A married man should never
buy his cigars credit, fer by so doing he be-
comes weeO-Owor.
country critic, speaking uf the music of a
two-dOllar accordion, says: "The swell died
away in delicious suffocation, like one singing
sweet song under the bed Clothes"
soiling than do colored garments much soiled.
So little fault i'll good man attracts more
attention than great offences in bad men.
An exchange speaks of an Interesting oys-
ter case" The most interesting oyster cases
| we know of are those that open easily and are
well filed.
1t is curious fact in the grammar of politics
that when statesmen get into place they often
get oblivious to their antecedents, but are sell
dom forgetful of their relatives.
An illterate correspondent, who is given to
sporting, wants to know when the anglo
Saxon race" SO much talked about, is to come
off.
Why may young ladies, when they blush and
weep, be said to be disturbers of the public
peacef Because, when they blush and weep,
| they raise a hue and cry.
Dryden said it is a good thing to laugh, at
any rate; and if straw can tickle a man, it
is an instrument of happiness. Beasts can
| weep when they suffer, but they cannot laugh
A newspaper in Cleveland having advertised
| that they would send a copy of their paper
gratis for one year to the person sending them
I" q club of ten" received the ten spot of clubs
from a young lady in the country.
A merry heart makes sunshine. Everybody
| is warmed and enlightened by it. 1t exhilar-
ates a whole household. Its cultivation should
be general. The world would be better for it,
and individuals vastly happier.
"What can you makef" "oh, almost any
thing in my line.o "Can you make a devil 7"
Certainly just put up your foot, and will
split it in three seconds never saw chap
An irrascible old gentleman was taken lately
the most, spasmodic manner eight times, he
arrested the paroxysm for moment, and extri-
eating his handkerchief, he thus addressed his
nasal organ, ooh, go on, so on, you'll blow
your internal brains out presently"
A brow beating lawyer, in crosse examining a
witness, asked him, among other questions,
where he was on particular day, to which he
replied, Gin company with two. friends"
thsss eosla%sd the Ss
So" replied the witness, "for they are both
lawyers"
Two young misses, discussing the qualities of
some young gentlemen, were Overheard thus
"Well, like Charley, but he is a little girlish;
heNhasn't got the least bit of a beard" say
Charley has got q beard but he shaves it off,
"No he hasn't, either any more than have"
~ say he has, too, and know it, for it pricked
my cheek.n
ARGUING WITH WoMAN.-"Y You must ad-
init, doctor" said witty lady to a celebrated
doctor of divinity, with whom she was arguing
the question of the equality of the sexes, "you
must admit that woman was created before
man." why, really, madam" said the aston
ished divine, ~ must ask you to prove your
case" "That can be easily done, sir Wasn't
Eve the first maid"
GA Missourian informed a traveller, who in
quired about his corn, that each stalk had nine
ears on it, and was fifteen feet high. THAT'S
nothing to our corn" replied the traveller. Cup
In Illinois, where came from, we always had