The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-10-30
Wfif ans Du,itur .

- Is an egg-SheH-arating refresh
lnent,
= Can cock-crowing be called
tMehchanting?
= How to make tall man "short"
Borrow from him.
= In domestic state do hares sit
upon chars as well as forms?
- a red-breast comes into your
garden, does he come there a robin?
- Where is 9 me to be found ex-
eept upon land that is part-ridged2
I'll feel it my duty to dilate, )" said
an orator. "Better die late than new
er," said voice in the crowd.
- When nature would make any,
thing especially rare and beautiful, she
makes 1t little.
- Shot in potato patch is becom-
inga common cpitaph for negroes in
the South.
WHY is baby like wheat? Ans.
B cause it is first Graded then thrash.
ell, and finally becomes the flower of
the family. san
= While crossing ferry n little
:hree-year old was heard to eXclaim. as
she saw Il sail boat. '>Oh mamma there
is a boat with bonnet OF -
- An eminent painter on being ask
ed what he mixed his colors with to
give so fire an effect. answered. II mix
it VITA brains"
- A young lady vocalist of wonder
full powers consoles herself with the re-
Election that il she cant sing c., she can
crow X (crcquet) with ease.
No,, TapSn,- a,litf,,. hoo 49,.
sheep that has evidently taken
horn TOO much. as he has All additional
one growing out OF the under part of
his neck.
= A Sandusky mother recently re-
proved her three-y enr-olster for eating
icicles. The analytical infant replied.
Il didn't eat them mamma; | only suck
cd the juice out of Them"
- An excellent author says. ssifthe
prospect around you is sad, look up
ward.' But, ifa man turn his eyes MP
ward even in the clearest day, " i'll
not all look blue to him ?
"A Yankee being asked how it
was that his sweetheart had given him
the mi.ten, replied; Twas such fool
that Ipraised her so mich she got so
proud she wouldn't speak to me !"
= A maiden lady while in eompa-
ny the other evening, alludng ty her
youthful smartness. said at six months
old she went alone. A malicious wag
present remarkep, Eyes you have been
going alone ever since"
-"There is no place like homes
says the poet.
Right unless its the home of the
wonng woman you are after. This is
OF course an exception. Future poets
will please to note it.
"A sailor exhorting at a rrayer
meeting in London Chapel. said that |
on dark, stormy nights. while on the
sea, he had often been comforted by that |
beautiful passage of scripture, "a laint |
heart never won fair lady,"
- 1t is said there are more editors |
unmarried than any other class of pro- |
tessional men. For the reason, we sup
pose. the majority Of them are men of |
fine sentiment and do not wish to starve
anybody's sister.
= "Landlord," said Jonathan. the
other day, stepping up to the bar in
public house, 81 est give us a cents
worth of New England, and put it into
two tumbers. Here Jia, take hold
away with the expense, Say, when "A
fellow is on bust"
- Alta christening, while the min
lister was making the certificate. he
happened to say:
Let me see, this is the 3Oth."
''The thirtiethi' exclaimed the indIo-
nant mother, "indeed it is only the elev
enth.
- "May be married Ma ?" said
pretty brunett ofsiXteen to her mother.
Nv hat do you want to be married tor?"
returned her mother. "Why, m., you
know that the children have never seen
any body married and l thought it
nigh please EN-"
-"When goes shopping" said an
old woman, ~ alters asks for what |
wants ; ii they have it. and il is suitable
and feel inclined to take 1t, and it's
cheap, and it can't be bought ut any
place for less, | almost alters takes it,
without chatlerring all day as most peo-
lie do"
- An Irishman noticing a woman
passing along thestreet, spied two strips
depending from under the lady's cloak.
OF knowing that these were STYLED
'sashes," and hanging in their right. ,
,lace, he exclaimed, Faith. ma'am,
four gallasses are united"
- ''I'll neither tell my name for !
census or the sovereign" said the coon /
most resolutely, as her master. who
vas preparing for the enumerator.-
Very well, I'll put down sixty-tive,"
vas the cool reply. "''pon my honor.
ir, was only fiity-eight last birthday"
creamed the cook.
- A certain deacon on occasion of 1
Missionary collections, was wont to shut
lis eyes and sing, SLY abroad thou
nightly Gospel with such earnestncss
nd junction that he would quite forget
o sec the plate when it came around. - \
'Oh yes, but just you give it something |
o make it fly 7" said the phte- a
- ''How much to insert this DEATH :
sked Il person at a Newspaper office.
One dollar" why / paid but fifty 7
ents The last time | inserted one !
That was common deatl,' said the
shut this is sincerely regret
cd. "''l'll tell you what" said the APP r
licant, your ext cutors will not be put I
D that expense" al
- A young lady took her younger fe
rothcr, Il little boy of three or 1our B.
ears old, to the church. The preach Y
t was an earnest man, and spoke very y
,ud. During the sermon she saw the W
tile fellow in tears, and asked him 81
hat was the matter with him? He
obbed out: "That man is hollering at 7
le." u
Gin EoIfor GaotF's IN, co tLa,,oL 1}i