, 1868-01-10
Democracy and Republicanism Will Not
Miscegenate.
HOW DEMONSTRATED.

HOW DEMONSTRATED.
EDITOR STArEsMAN:-Perhaps you read in a
newspaper, sometimei ago.. if you didn't, 1
did that single layer of newspapers spread
over the bed makes warmer covering than a
pair of heavy blankets. Well, night before last
was pretty cold, and turning over muchly
would not prevent a fellows getting cold toward
the wac small hours of night. So yesterday
morning when we were about taking oHrself off
to biz, the good madam suggested that we had
better have another pair of blankets. l thought
so too, and to that end consulted my purse,
which said in language unmistakable, though
not loud, "better make some SHIFT" This ad,
moniton put my fruitful Imagination 20 work
and among other things the aforesaid newspaper
paragraph was brought to mind, | not believing
everything see in the newspapers determined
to test this newspaper article. Now you must
recollect that we sleep three in BIRD at our
house. sleep before, my wife in the middle,
and the BABY (bless its little souD behind. Now
for the experiment. 1 soon gathered oudntuu
suffeit of newspapers, went to the bed, took off
the top kiver or Sunday Quilt and spread omen a
where my shoulders would rest spread out the
La Crosse Democrat placing the S. F. Examiner
50 as to protect the pedal extremities, then an
other Examiner across the foot of the bed; this
arrangement left a small space just in the baby's
neighborhood, and patched it out with the Pa.
eifc Tribune. Everything being in readiness, |
saw wife and baby to bed, the bed clothes tuck
ed in nicely, then kneeled down and said the
Lords prayer, "Now | lay me down to sleep &C."
and turned in myself.
Everything felt nice and comfortable like
and was soon locked in the sweet embraces
of thrice welcome Morpheus. soon fell into a
dream or trance, and notwithstanding, cum csLer-
itdte tempuS fugit, was soon u head of her. 1t
was June, A. D., 1869. l had been travelling
through the country far and near, and met hap>
piness and prosperity all along my journey; not
only were the birds carrolling and making mel>
ody in their hearts, but the ploughman was
whistling, the milk maid singing, in fact, all
nature seemed to be making music in one harS
monious tune, and l queried: as this the year
of Jubilee 2" In my perigrinations, brought
up at Washington City, D. c., on the 4th of Ju-
ly and beheld city altogether lovely. The cit.
zens both Houses of Congress included, had
by invitation gone to Baltimore to celebrate the
day. and were to return accompanied by the
Baltimorans in the evening aud join the capital
| folks in grand torch light procession. amused
myself in perambuiatiug the city and riding in
the street ears mary ngger in 'sm) until the re-
turn of the citizens. went to the White House
and read in large gilt letters over the principal
entrance "White men shall rule America" |
next visited the Capitol, and over every door
read the inscription "Manhood Suffrage Played
Ont" By this time evening came apace, and
with its gentle breezes came the torch light pro
cession. The procession was the grandest affair
my eyes ever beheld; all sorts of devices and
notices were exhibited, such as "No Niger in
mine" Take a back seat Mr.. Manhood, "The
same money for bondhoder and laborer,"
| Treason made odious," and so on dd infnitun
About this time, walked up, and said to my wife,
"Good Godl has there been a negro dance since
have been a sleep 2" "No, there hasn't been
negro in the yard for twelve months; what do
you mean" "Wby smell Niger; that's what's
the matter" go to Sleep" she says, "its the
dog you SMELL" "The dog the devil" says /,
"what is the matter with the baby?" "I think
she has got the colic," says my wife, "hush,
and will Try and quiet her." "Well," says |,
"Pll do it, but be darned if Idon't smell .nigS
ger" The old lady, getting her Irish up by this
time says, "Go along to sleep, there's no mig.
ger about here unless it is that thick-lipped one
in Brick Pomeroy's paper, you have spread on
the bed here like a simpleton.' Now, Mr. Editor,
you have no idea how that last remark of my
beter>half inspired me, had the whole myste-
ry in nutshell; in the twinkling of an eve
knew it was that nasty radical sheet spread
over the baby that produced all this scent
and confusion, jumped out of bed, seized the
darned thing, and was in the act of putting it iu
the crockery under the bed when my wife cried
not to do SO, that it would make bad worse, and
recollecting that had often been benefited by
taking her advice, desisted, opened the stove
and committed the vile thing to the flames. l
then asked my wife if there was not another
democratic paper about the house she replied
that the Walla Walla STATESMAN lay on the table
got it, spread it over the baby, said the Lord 3
prayer again and went to bed. Strange to say,
Mr.. Editor, but the baby went to sleep, same
as il she had taken dose of "Mrs. Winslow s
Soothing Syrup" or "Godfrey's Cordial !" the
old lady was soon snoring, and in just two min,
utes and half was finishing my dream. We
all awoks much refreshed this morning, and
thoroughly convinced that democratic newspa-
psrs are excellent covering (sheets) EUREKA.
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