Daily Davenport Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1864-1874, 1868-08-06
ELDER KNAPP,s HELL
A cAtrrcnslA sxsrcn.

Ons night, inst before Elder Knapp had
finished his Ininistrationsin Stockton, Cal
hornia, aud had reached almost the last
sermon IN his barrel, the devil came 10 him
in vision and proposed that thys should
take short walk together.
S"Begonsl" shouted the elder. "Gst
thes bshiud NJ, Satan p
"Oh, come, now" said the devil. ''leta
BE- fsissds. l held no III will against you.
Yeu've done me toe many iavers, unknown
70 yeurssif, fer me 70 barber malice. Como,
now, III show my new hell built and fur
nishsd With heating apparatus according TO
your own plans and specifications. I've
named u after you, too-"Knapp's Hell"
Its yours-sli yours."
The elder reflected. "l'm getting old"
thought -. II shall soon be 10 hssvse.--
Thts nay - ths saiy opportunity shalt
sver hava Bat"
"Don't b alarmed absut that" said the
devil. Who saw the elders thoughss.---
"Nons Of ysur psopls shall see yon IN my
company. I've locked out for that
"l'u g." ssid the elder.
"Bsliy tss voc" said the devil. Here.
take my arm"
So together they travelled until they ar.
rived 1t an enclosure surrounded by .
wall Of red hot brass. fifteen feet high, and
. mile 10 circumference. Entering BY the
high archcd doors, they proceeded along .
spacious passage way lined on either side
With blue devils.
Ventilation 10 perfect, isn't II, elder p
Can yeu detect any trsce Of birthstone p
"No," replied the elder.
Thy went into the office. A red devil
sfRsiAl was about v book the elder No
S00s $40 659 sac, AIS, and On attendant OH
eiai w. On the point Of shalking the dupli
sass number on the elders coat. The
chief stopped them. IAN right" said hs.
"visitor. Honorary member"
They ascsndsd . cupols. In the centre
IVES lake Of Ore and bSimstone.
"Thsts for sinners on general psinciplss
No specific charge. Heat from bslev b.
tubing. Ysskes isvsstion. Iopsevsd
burning fluid, only fifteen cents eallos
and pint will last sinner . week."
"Hsllslujsh r. shosted the elder.
Round the made Of the supels was Z
fow Of pssp hslss.
s'fIsrs," said the devil, "look here"
The elder psspsd.
"Thats the theatrical belt. Pat EN-
whore they bslsng--is thsstrs. Pit, drssl
circle ADD gallery Ill red hot bsAaa Stags
ditto. There they have to cit, roast and
play, and 80 plays forever. Now thsy'ss
playing .AIl's well that Ends Wslr-ir
hell. Barrett 10 starrisg II. supported BY
McCulloch and Mrs. Jackson. Harry Ed
wards, Leach, Miss Melville. and the Hsw
son appear II one aNsrnson then Harry
Couriaine and the Wsbbs in ansthsr. Ns1,
Whsatlsy will present the white Fawn.'--
No rshsavssls. One play succseds another
through all eternity. Heat increases twt
degrees per month for the same period n
time. Have to grade IL according u ths
| theatrical sinners powers Of endurance. ,
"Glory hallslujsh r shouted the elder.
aims sorry you come, are you" said
| the devil Nov lock At the operatic hell
Same principle yen see. Faust going on
nov. 'Fanst, Mancusi Marguerite,
Brambills. Evans 10 leader. They've
something there 10 howl for. That patent
nitso- helIina fluid, eighteen cents per gal
lon brings out their vocal powers wonder
fully"
Hero the devil shouted through the
tube:
"Put ten pounds additional weight on
the safety valve. and raise the teupsrsturs
eight degrees. "We'Il sec If 10 oan's rash
lsram's voios up scale or two higher. I'll
make prodigy out Of that girl yet"
Those are the negro minstrels," 70.
marked the devil, ~ the elder shifted "a
another peep pole. They're sharred black
now. No need Of burnt cork. And that 4
the Unitarian department" said he, follow.
ing Elder Knapp around in regular: show.
man style.
Retreat for dead and id Universal.
lists. They slipped up on mere word. II
was universal dsmnation, instead Of saliva
ton. Backsliddsn Baptists. I've respect.
cd the doctrinal predictions for imosrsion
on your account, elder. and allowed thsm
to boil instead Of roast. This 10 the
Roman Catholic department. There 10 .
priest baking in each Of those confession.
ais"
"Glory Glory ~ exclaimed the elder.
ITS just what told EN- they would come
to-"
swell. how do you like your establish.
mestw inquired the devil.
tits bully bully r. said the elder. "rm
agin you, but like your hell. Oh, won't
| give them sinners HI now, I've seen it.
III call down here once in \ while. sure,
after ! get 10 heaven. Good morning, my
friend. You're . bad moral agent yourself,
but you're doing the Lords work.