Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1868-02-22
EULOGY ON WOMAN BY s.MARK
TWAIN"


At the dinner given by the Correspond
ents Club at Washington, "Mark Twain"
was calle1 on to respond to the usual toast
to. Woman" which he did in the follow
ing characteristic style:
Mr.. President | do not know why
should have been singled out to receive the
greatest distinction of the evening-for 80
the Office of replying TO the toast to woman
has been regarded in every age. ZAP
plause) / do not know why l have re-
ceivsd this distinction, unless il be that am
a trifle less homely than the other mem
bers of the club. But be this as il may,
Mr.. President, am proud of the position,
and You could not have chosen any one
who Would have accepted it more gladly
or labored with heartier goodwill to do
the subject Justice, than /. Because sir,
love the sex. daughter love the Wo-
men, sir, irrespective of age or color.
(Laughter)
Human intelligence cannot estimate what
We owe to woman, sir. She seWs on our
buttons daughter she mends our cloths
(laughter,) she ropes ne in at the church
fairs; che confdes in us she tells us what
ever she can find out about the little pri-
NatV dHdiAa VI tue sue SlNCS uo
good advice and plenty of it she gives us
piece of her mind sometimes and some
times all of it; she sooths our aching
brows she bears our children-our as
| general thing. In all the relations of life,
sir, it is but just and graceful tribute to
woman TO cay of her that she is a brick.
| Great laughter.)
Wheresoever you place women, sir--in
whatever position or estate-she is an or
nament to that place she occupies, and a
treasure TO the world. Here Mr. Twain
paused, looked inquiringly at his hearers,
and remarked that the applause should
come in at this point 1t came in. Mr..
Twain resumed his eulogy.) Lool, at the
noble names of history LOo. at Cleopa-
tra look at Desdemonia look at Flor
enca Nightingale look at Joan Of Arc
look at Lucretia Borgial (Disapproba-
ton expressed. "Well." said Mr.. Twain,
scratching his head doubtfully, suppose
we let Lucretia slide.") Look at Joyce
Heth look at mother Eve (Cries of
Oh ~ "OhP) You need not look at her un-
less you want to, but (said Mr.. Twain,
reheetively, fter pause) Eve was orna-
mental, sir, particularly before the fashion
| changed / repeat sir, look at the illustri-
ous names of history. Look at the Widow
Machreel look at Lucy Stone look at
Elizabeth Cady Stanton look at George
Francis Train Great laughter.) And sir,
! say il with bowed head and deepest We
neration, look at the mother of Washing
toni She raised boy that could not lie
could not lie. (Applause.) But he never
had any chance (Oh, Oh , 1t might
have been different with him il he had be-
longed TO newspaper correspondents club.
daughter, groans, Kisses, cries of "Put
him out" Mark looked around plaCidly
upon his excited audience and resumed J
| l repeat, sir, that in whatsoever position
You place woman she is an ornament tC
society and treasure to the world. A:
a sweetheart she has few equals and nc
superiors daughter > "a cousin she IL
convenient; "a wealthy grandmother
with an incurable distemper, she is pre-
cious; as wet nurse she has no aqua
among men (Laughter.)
| What, sir, would the people of the eartl
he without woman? They would
be scarce, sir--almighty scarce Then lie
us cherish her-let us protect her-let u
give her our support, our encouragement
our sympathy-ourselves, five get chance
| Laughter.)
But, testing. aside, Mr.. President, womar
is loveable, gracious, kind Of heart, beauti
ful-worthy of all respect, of all esteem, o
all difference. Not any here will refuse e
drink her health right cordially in thi
bumper of wine, for each and every one o
us has personally known, and loved, an,
honored the very best one of them all-hi
own mother. (Applause.