Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-12-16
Call me a liar ?"
Take that I'll pepper you ~

Call me a thief ~ cries one of the art
full dodgers, making a aJeim at 4 ''cotempo
rary' ard hitting Yankee.
''I-I-I-git aout-t-t =
Said was convict, did yer Take
that p yells another.
and that = says a third, making miss
hit, @ and smashing the Down East gen
tleman's sheet-iron looking hat tightly over
the Yankees orbs of light.
''Eyerlastin' cre-a-a-a-tion !"
''Go in, lemons : shout the crowd.
LET go my hat what in the sin are you
baout-t-t? Let go, gon darn ye yeou'n
tear my hat all tn flinders p
Call the peerless " cries one of the
thieves.
Here's feller raisin fight ' yells the
carriage driver,
'Murderr-r A feller's got my watch ~
Look out for peck-pockets shout the
loafers and thieves.
Let me aout Let go my pockets, goll
darn ye What are yeou at A.? Git aout O.
that Murder :" cries the poor victim,
A hustle takes place, the crowd scatter,
somebody cries that pick-pockets are about
and the ''per-lees" are coming
HALO 'hre, what's all this about q" ex-
claims the red-faced policeman, coming up
to poor Down East, who has finally man
arod to cxtIicate his head from his hat, the
.ertion putting him all in foam of pres
piration, rs wall as tumblng up his hair
Ike quills upon the fretful porcupine.
whats all this row, ,en? ?"
''Raow? Coll darn ye? Yeou one of
them feller's been pitchin' into me ? jest
say SO, and III be darned if / dunt Jest
wallop yeou aout of yeour ceow skins, or
my names not Jedediah Jumper, naor ''
''What p cries the policeman. ''Are
You the feller's been raising all this muss ?"
Hes the feller, Mister Perleesman,"
says one of the coachman, coming up to
the scene again.
''Yoou're the darned skunk as hit me ~
cries Jumper, throwing off his hat and
coat in the most heroic fashion, and evin-
cling other symptoms of ''going in"
Hes drunk Take him off - cries q
loafer.
He's been raising fight here all the af-
tenoon !" says another, coming up with
more c0nfereS.
He's picked my pocket, the thief r'
cries one of the rascals.
''And stole my watch % chimes in an
other william.
''You etanal, double-and-twisted skunks,
yeou, gasps poor Jumper, now writhing in
the hands of the ferocious policeman, 'you
pizen-mean, ceowardly, low-ifed sarpints,
yeou've stole my wawch, yeou've hooked
my puss, and"-
Come along !" roars the virtuously in
dignant officer. "Come along, you rascal
Want to let ON you've been robbed, ell p
Him robbed Ha ha ha y
You're pooty feller to be robbed |"
Ha ha ha !' shout the thieves
Come with me, you scoundrel I'll
show You how to come here and kick up
row among decent, honest people, just to
get a chance to pick pockets Eh?"
Me pick pockets Grea-a-a-t kingdom !"
"Came along !" cries the policeman.
Give me my coat Sa-ay, look a'here
Fetch back my coat Stop that feller with
my hat Sa-a-y, look a'here p
Come along with me y
And hatless and coatless, sans purse ard
watch, poor Jedediah Jumper was rushed
off to the police station, valise in hand,
which he had been fortunate enough to re-
tain, by hook or crook, in spite of all the
exertions of the thieves to seize it. The
policeman made a formidable charge
against J. Jumper; he had been drunk,
fighting, molesting honest people in the
discharge of their respectaful avocations,
and picking pockets.
"Look a'here, Squire, exclaims the out
ragged Jumper
"Hold your tongue, you-you rascal p
s'Want tn know it that fellers a-goin' tn
rip into me thot way and stand here
swallerin his gon darn lies and yeou lis
ten to 'em ?"
"I-I-rll give you thirty days on the Is
land, roars the magistrate, IF you don't
hold your jaw Now, I'll fine you five dol,
lars and cost, and give you two hours to
leave the city"
'sYeou du 2" says Yankee.
II do and if you don't pay the fine, I'll
send you up for thirty days, you rascal !!
II calculate, Squire, yeou call this q
mighty spry town ?"
''Whhat's that -
''Peert fellers at craowdin' strangers -
'Win you hold your jaw 2"
''Grea-a-at ON grabbin' afeller's watch !?
''Do you hear me ?"
''Stealin' feller's puss =" continues the
imperturbable.
''Mr. Clark, make the rascal's fine sever
dollars "
" Hold on, ho-o-o-o-ld on, Squire let u'
see how much the damage is naow, grea
gravy What! sewing dollars fine for git