Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1868-05-13
Young Men.

suppose that no man who has arrived
at the years of understanding can look
back upon his days of puppy-hood without
a shudder. They constitute green spot
in mcmory's waste which he would iain
forget. The masculine human in his turn
ing state is sickening sight to behold.
But there is stage of existence ex-
tending over space Of two or three
years, between the outer stage of boy
hood and the first stages of manhood,
which a masculine has to travel nolens
roieaS. 1t is of the benighted souls III
this probationary state that | now pro-
pose TO speak.
therefore assert it as an incontrovcr-
tblc fact that the most disgusting crea-
turc in the animal kingdom is; bobtailed
specimen of humanity after he sheds the
tail of pollywogism, and before he attains
the legs of lrog-hood. Yet is he as un
conscious of ':what ails him. as is a
sucking babe of infant damnation.
Puppyhood is obtrusive, noisy, and
given to extreme opinions which it vol
untecrs on all occasions. 1t pcrvades all
circles of society, but never loses its
identity.
The t;,stt" young man is the most
common type Of this nuisance. He fire.
.quents billiard and drinking saloons, and
is readily recognized by his taillcss coat
and the various noises he makes He
claims to be posted on all subjects, and
on ali horse questions he is ready to back
his opinions with his money When he
i, not whistling he will be heard swear
lag loudly and awkwardIy. He patron
iz the drama and is audible, but not
classic or3ehaste in his criticisms. He
knows exactly where an actress is padded
and exactly how much He is a terror
to supcranmeraries and sets up frantic
cries Of soup" whenever they appear
lie INDUCES in practical jokes upon the
apple boys, and stares rudeIy at the la
dies bef'rc scattering their dresses with
tobacco juice He regards tobacco in
all its forms as a great developing agent
OF manhood. he takes kindly to strong
drink, and considers having been "as
drum; as the devil the night before, u
matter tit to boast of in the circle of his
admirers.
You may take any twenty of this style
of swclI-head, and in that number you
will not bc able - find two that could
start even with til. world and support
himself iinnurahiv f.r cue Year
The mora! puppy is not so wicked per-
haps, Jet he is :; dose. In dry goods
stores, a!:d other places where c!oqucnce
combined with gno'i looks are most e!iec-
aiye. Ic commonly wieIds his sceptre.
A!thcagIl selling goods may he his os:cn.
sill aim!. marrying fortune is The great
object Of Ills life. Consequently he keeps
8 sharp look ont for an eligible candidate,
whom being to"nd. trust him for he bal
ance. In order 20 keep his suhjugating
powers in effective order he does not
scrup!c to practice his arts upon adde's
cent damscls who drop in to bny cheap
dry u ,ods While extoiing the excel
ience Of 'hc fabric with his de|uding
tonsae, his eyes are da.t;Gg P;-thiai,
giances into the hasom Of the fascinated
maiden across the counter.
H. is a power a; Sabbath schools aud
Bible classes. He not unirtqnently as
tonisiies the elders by his novel cxpos-
t;oli; q! .l.Sirse anl hitherto doubtful
pls;ag:s Of Sculpture. His commenta,
RES up,i The Writings nf %,. Paul would
chef Of saints. coMII he hear
thcin agl;n eXc'ainI:
Il a.n debtor bo;h 10 the Greeks and
to The Barbarians; both to the wise ana
TO tie unwise.'
At small social parties our moral pup.
py is in his glory. and is invaiublc to the
Ieisnins belle as a gentecl servant and
Il target ict her stock of witticisms. But
if you woad sec and hear him in his
might, you Ianst gea hjm up in a deba-
Ting society. No other farce can COM
pare With that. Bnt it has one drawback,
It takes yon back to your own days OF
and suggests suicide.