The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-07-03
Spare LINES.

wbv aa prosy, long .wii,ded talker like
nm oil xcIi! Because he's precious bore.
The .heep in the meadow and the AZ in
IN, iorcs, contribute their "chops" for the
support OF man. ~
Ifa church was to catch FIRE which part
must be burnt, The organ, because the en-
gines cannot play on II.
Preiudices are like rats, and mans mind
Ike a trap; they get in easily, and then per-
haps cant get outst all.
Why isa prudent man like pin !? BE.
cause b., head prevents him from going too
far.
Lawyers have to invent 20 many excuses
for other people that they are very apt to
invent them foe themselves
Every sorrow has lis twin Joy the fun
Of scratching almost pays Tor having the
itch.
"Kissing factory girl is a mill priv
ilego." Yes, when she Is satisfactory
girl.
Lamb, In his Table-Talk, said: "The
greatest pleasure I know is to do a good &C.
ton by stealth and have IL found out by nc.
cidcnt." r,
How Presidents die 10 easily explained,
For thus upon their tombs II might be ehlseled'
As loay - James BsshAnAn rsigned, hs reigned,
And Then he MINDED!
Six cents worth Of green paint in powder
used about any house will "clcar the kitch-
en-" and all its surroundings Of reaches and
kindred pests.
A tipsy sailor mistook o window for a
door on broadway, and walked through
$500 worth OF plate glass. That was evil
IDENTITY one glass too much.
Men write over their store-door cuisines
is business" and over the church-door,
"Re,igion 10 Religion" and they say TO Re-
igion, sNever come in here" and to Bus
mess, aNever 80 in there"
There is class OF people who think that
10 be grim 10 to be good (; that piety is a
sort Of facial longitude (; and that thought
20 DO really wholesome, must DO shaped
like a coffin.
Don't make up your mind about any
creature in belt.ribbon and velvet rosettes
without first making your sisters advice.
Depend upon IL, one woman can read anoth-
or better in FIVE minutes than you can in
five years
A negro boy was driving mule In ia.
maica, when the animal suddenly stopped
and refused to bulge. "Wont 20, eh ?"
said the boy. Feel grand, do you? I
s'Pose you forgot your father was q jack
ass"
An instance Of throwing ones self about
was witnessed a few evenings since at
party, in the case Of young lady, who,
when asked to sing, first tossed her head
and then pitched her voice.
II half the pains were taken by some
people TO perform the labor allotted to them
that are taken by them to avoid IL, we
should hear much less said about the trou-
bles Of life, ind SEQ much moro actually
completed.
An Irishman, short time in this conn-
try, was eating boiled green corn. Afler
eating of all the corn, be passed tho cob
back to the lady who sat ut the head OF the
table saying "would you please 30 80
kind rs put some moro beans on the stick"
A reporter id Detroit paper, in an article
on the city poor, spoke Oft great number
Of persons reduced to poverty by the "mys-
ferrous DEGREES Of Providence" Ills as
tonishmcnt may bc imagined when he saw
the passage printed mysterious decrease Of
provisions"
A Paris landlady requested christmas
party on the third floor to cease dancing as
n man below them was dying. The guests
acquiesccd. Returning an hour later, My
dear children" she exclaimed, with tho
most benevolent smile, "you may begin
again, he's dcad!"
The Boston Pct, which is strong for rum
and democracy, Confcsscs that young men
who drink whisksy to disguise the smell Of
onions commonly jump out OF the trying
pan into the fire; tho compound result Is a
perfume which 10 never mistaken for any
imported from Paris or any other continent
al city.
Who ever saw boy late at a circus
How eager children arc to 70 TO NIL kinds
Of public meetings! If school were place
where children wee happy. comfortable in
body, contented in mind, if their minds
were excited. their curiosity awakened and
gratifed, children would less often DO tar.
dy.
The Hartford Post SAYS some genius has
solved the problem, What is To he done
with hoop skirts that have outlivcd their
usefulness rs articles Of wearing apparel 90
lie hangs them up in his corn patchea M
scarecrows, and they arc said to be effectual.
Modest crows have q special svcrsion to
tilten.
Tho way to win 10 to work. Luck Is
nothing. and never perchcs ON banners that
are not lifted aloit by your steady workers.
Winning people arc invariably industrious.
lfyou want to make way straight to power.
", rags, and nudity. just hang round or.
pccting you you arc to get lively win ut
some good luck. About tho time you get
il rivers will 30 running up bill, young wo.
msn win have given up flirting and love
Of dress, and the North pole will 10 used
for fishing smelts out Of the Polar seq.
"Ninc." sir" observed a social scourgc,
81 can speak nine languages distinctly. but
my father, when he was alive, could speak
no less than fifteen" "Ahw remarked
Douglas Jerold, knew man who could
speak fivc-and.twenty, and he never said
anything worth hearing in any one Of
them"
Don't imagine that you must keep your
lady.talk and gcnlleman.talk in sepsrnts
budgets, labeled and sorted, unless YOU
want the girls to laugh in their sleeves a,
your wishy-washy scntimcntalisms. Don't
suppose, because they are women, that they
don't know anything. Talk to them In a
frank, manly syle, a. you would to an in
tellisent gentleman.
There Is ~ much merit In catering to the
humorous side Of our nature a to tho sober
and ssiatc. Men and women wcro made
to laugh and indulge in pleasantries just a.
much - 10 pray and fast. Because face
10 unoommonly long instead OF wide Il docs