Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-11-05
WITAyDHUMoR.

will point her out 20 the congrega-
ton"
isis, what did the IsraeIites do
after they had crossed the red sea2"
II don't know, but guess they dried
themselves"
There are only two kinds Of dis
eases-one which you die, and ono
Of which you don't.
The man who couldn't trust his
feelings is supposed TO do business
on cash principles.
Why is a wrestling match the least
immoral ofall contest? because it is
try fling affair.
To discover your true friends
become suddenly poor.
AT hotel you may expect Inn at
tention.
"Make way, gentlemen" once said
a representative to the populaco, as
they were crowding him out of his
place OIL election day, ''make way,
VIC are the representatives of the peo-
pie" snake way YOURSELF" replied
a 'stardy member of the throng, we
are the people themselves
The great man of an eastern vii
lagc being at dinner, allowed his
tenants to stand while he talked with
him. "What news?" said the squire
"None, except that my SOW has a
litter of thirteen pigs and she can
accommodate only twelve" well;
what will tbo thirteenth one do?"-
..Do as do, stand and look OH as
the rest eat"
my DEAR" said cross grained
husband to his long suffering wife,
"do you intend to make fool of
me?" NO, my love; Nature has saw
ed me tina. trouble"
"Well, Mr.. Tree, if yon are going
to leave, / shall detain Your trunk,
though may let you off without in
juring any ofyour limbs and hurting
yoIr butt, "said landlord to q guest
who was in arrears.
Going to law is a mighty cold bus
mess. for the best you can hope for
is just ice, and often you do not even
get that.
Is said that the finest entertain
ment oifS could enjoy st feast is
to see bun dance (abundance) on
the table.
Why should man never teli Sc
erets in corniicld? Because it has
SO many ears.
Why is the letter Il very unfortu-
nate? Because it is always in troub-
lie, Indebtedness, and Missy, is the
beginning of riot and ruin, and is
never in peace, in love, or innocence
What did blind man take from
breakfast table to recover his sight?
He took a cup aId esucer (saw sir).
A Sharp grocer, which customer,
who was buying a gallon of molass-
ses, remarked that good deal re-
manned in the measure after it was
turned, explained the matter by say
ing: "Thcrc was just about the same
amount IN the measure before / drew
yours, SIR"
Gardening for ladies-makc up
your beds eUfly in the morning; sew
buttons on your husbands shirts; do
not rake mp any past grievances
protect the young and tender branch
cs Of your family; plant a smile of
good temper IN your face; carefully
root out nj angry feelings, raise nice
bread and expect good crop of
happiness.
A clergyman, who stated in one of
ofhis sermons that society was rap
idly gaining ground in morality, was
asked to state the grounds Of his be-
lief. He said, Il have personal
knowledge of three borrowed UNI
brellas having been retunrcd to their
ownerS."
The last ease of Incidence is that
Of John Hole; in writing his nam on
~ used the letter j and then puncht
a hole l. the paper.
IL have lost my appetite" ] hope
no poor man has fonnd it, for it wo'd
ruin him in q week.
A French writer says,if Yankee
were cast away alon. on an uninha5-
tied island he would Set up the next
morning and go around selling maps
to the inhabitants.
IF want statue of myself why
should / be foolish to present the
sculptor with the marble for the
work? He'd be sure to chfsef me
out of it.
A warm meal consists Of two lit
tie crackers dipped in strong pepper
sauce.
Timid people--a hover about to
pop the question, a man WHO does
not like to be shot, and a steamboat
captain with cholera case on board
A lady was asked to join the So
ciety Of Daughters of Temperance;
she replied: This is unnecessary rs
| intend to join one of the sons in a
few days.
Photographers love bows; indeed,