The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-09-18
FUN ann MISCELLANY.


Of bankrupt dice-player.
Persons to avoid in hot weather
persons Of heated imagination.
An aching void-the socket from
which q tooth has been drawn.
Return matches-the marriage of
people who run away and come back.
Eve-the only woman who never
threatened TO go and live with her
mother.
How to make q rich jam-crowd
twenty fashionably dressed ladies into
one omnibus.
Filtration chairs at the Springs now
have awnings over them.
Old port is much sought after. but
not half as much as Newport.
A fop often fancies he is cock OF
the walk, when ne is only eoxcomb.
The reason Nature will have her
way is because she is feminine.
Woman shows her fondness for
unity by always wanting TO De won.
A Lowell man thinks that dog days
and cat nights come together this year.
The London woman who bad four
children at bi til was rewarded with
$50 from the Queen.
Instead of calling a resident Of
Utah a Mormon, we ought to call him
a MOrewoman. ..
What gentleman can, with any sense
of propriety, ask a fat woman to lean
on his arm2
What is the difference between a
young lady aud night eap2 One is
born TO wed, and the others worn to
bed.
Snuff boxes, snuff taking, and mon
keys as pets are among the latest
fashion bile "agonies Of tho Paris
ian ladies'.
Chow chow, claret, point and NAL
tese lace, white muslin and silk skirts
are given as the prevailing articles at
Long Branch.
A French actress, having been pub
lished as dead instead of married, said
it dida't make any difference except
to her husband. -tFr
An act of the Legislature of Ten
nessee now makes habitual drunken
ness a cause for divorce, on the part
Of either man or wife. ll fT
A man in London, having pretend
cd tS understand Browning's "Sar-
dido, he was forthwith clapped into
mad house.
Why are young widows like band
of Ethiopian minstrels? Because
they do not stay long in black.
Judy asks when a lady has very
sweet hair" is it consequence of
her fastening it with honey-comb.
4 sad truth all women should learn
soon or Iate is the difference between
womau's love and mans affection.
N yer own that woman is right.
Do 1t once. and on the very eonceit of
il she'll ne always wro ng for the rest
of her lite. f
Several chignons and sets of false
teeth have been found on the Long
Branch Beach. The ladies at the
hotels repudiate them. 81 .
The highest and most valuable of
all emale vir'ues--a virtue that Eve
her, eft was cerfa'n My not born with
l. to be quick dresser.
Will you have some grapes, Mon
sieuT?" asked a gentlemen Of
Frenchman. No, saire; / don't
swallow my wine in re shape Of pills"
Ask woman to a tea party in the
Gard OF Eden, aud she'd be sure to
draw up her eyelids and scream: " l
can't 60 without new gown"
An old gentleman at Saratoga, who
has been regular in his attendance
there for sixty years, claims to have
imbibed in that time FIVE hundred
barrels of Congress water. ~. +;
Empress Eugene means to intro
duce the costume of the gentle shep-
herdesses, so prettily depicted by
Vatican, Notwithstanding the hints
that she is too old girl for such non
sense. vs. -..
There is woman in Pittsfeld,
Mass, ninety years old, who sews,
'knits and reads readily without the
aid Of spectaees, and milks a cow
twice q day. She says " the gals now
days amt worth much"
A Topsham girl died the other day
because her blood turned to sugar.
We don't believe this item, for we
know girl, who, if sweetness were
fatal to mortality, couldn't live a
minute.-ET.
The New York Express ridicules
the honors paid by the English to the
son Of King Theodore, and sadly
signs. Somehow the black race is
getting ahead of the pale skins every
where. b = 81 - ,...a as.a
An English Judge leotured two so
licitors severely, week or two since,
for appearing in court in an unbe
coming dress, and refused to grant
costs to one Of them for his delin
quency IN this respect One wore a
velveteen ccat and the other a shoot
ing jacket. uZ kq
why did you leave your last
place." inquired young housekeeper
about to engage new servant. Why,
you see, ma am, replied the appli-
caut, was too go0d-lOoking, and
when | oreued the door, folks took
me for the missus. ,a ga .-s tsl.l
The sporting mania RACES at Sara
toga just now. It'll related that one
Oh mining young lady carries a fan,
which when closed resembles q horse s
leg f 70 k nee down. The string
attached to 1t is in imitation of a
whip. The fan was given to her by a
sweetheart.
A department clerk at Washing
ton, tried to marry a colored girl the
other day. he had some difficulty In
finding a clergyman who was willing.
and when that peint was accom-.
.AtiahDd sararal az tho ..;.l,. j - u