Brownlow's Knoxville Whig. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1866-1869, 1868-10-07
Religion and Politics.


Ridgelani is town in East Tennessee where un-
@lOst cause IS sacredly cherished and made almost
religion. Here Sunday School was wanted by
the Methodists South, and q Sunday School was
duly gathered But then, what's Sunday School
without superintendent Why, clearly, nothing.
So superintendent was TO be found or made. FAo
Should he be? All, there was the rub Who should
he DO He ought to be both religious and rebel
ous if possible; but falling this double qualica-
ton he must at any rate be rcbellious Twas not so
easy a matter, then, after all. On counting noses
and discussing characters it came out that the rei
gious men weren't good rebels, aud the rebels
weren't as religious as they might be- But no mat
teri the superintendent must be had and that right
speedily. So, on fine Sunday morning, the vote
taken in full school assembled, and the choice
fell on Dr. Broadback, who, having very limited
practice, was reekoned TO have plenty of time for
the special duties of the Office. His piety wasn't
anything TO Drag of but his RIGHTEOUSNESS was be-
yond the faint OF suspicion. In fact he was one of
the most trustworthy of the breed that came up to
US from Georgia and Alabama in pomp and rufled
shirt, with dignity and dirty hands.
Well, the committee went down to notify the
Doctor of his election, and they found him. Yes,
they found him-and found him drunk, conspicu-
ously, Enthusiastically, openly, grossly and palpsbly
drunk. OF course, then, the committee had to 90
and make the Doctors apology for not coming up
to the school that morning he wasn't WE'LL he was
really quite i'll, he wasn't able to leave his room
But yet, despite this unpleasant little circum-
stance the school Aourshed in point of numbers for
several weeks The friends of the "lost cause were
gleefully joyous they were winning standing in
the religious world, independent of the miserable
Radicals. There was now in Ridgeland a Sunday
School that Southern gentleaan's children could
go to without brushing against plebeians and such
like low-lived Christians
After things had thus frightened into success and
success into confidence, and confidence had bios
somed into high-mindedness, a public ball took
place in Ridgeland, attended chiefly by the chiv-
airy. The Doctor, being nothing if not chivalry,
attended the ball as matter Of course He danced.
Yes, in spite of avoirdupois, he danced Neither
diameter nor derision" could keep him from dane
ing. But dancing is exhiliarating even to the man
who pulls down two hundred pounds on the scales.
But dancing begins, after while, to get exhaustng
to such man. The exhiliaration is too pleasant
to lose, and the exhaustion is too painful to endure
so the refreshment room is visited The Doctor
comes back refreshed; he dances again. In fact
he alternately dances and refreshes Night slips by
apace, and the Doctor has refreshed often, very
often. Flesh and blood can't stand everything
muscular fibre and the metor-nerves will in the end
give out especially after prolonged vertical vibra
ton on ballroom floor, under the stimulus and the
goadings of multiplied glasses of Bourbon The
Doctor succumbed he failed to - we'll, there
were some who even went the length of saying he
was drunk. OF course this was a mistake; but, |
then, they took him to his lodgings in very queer
condition, greatly resembling drunkenness.
Next day the Doctor, if he had ever read any, |
thing, might have remembered what Burns (who |
knew all about it) says concerning pleasure being
IKE snoWnakes on river, moment white, then |
gone forever But as the Doctor isn't at all senti-
mental nor poetical, he took his headache and |
nausea in the shape of pure prose.
Perhaps all this looks rather like straying good
way from our Methodist South Sunday School
But it isn't. The occasion was a public one, ahd
he Doctors little adventure had all the publicity
Of the occasion. People talked about it. Some
olks have weak prejudice against such doings on
he part of Sunday School superintendent. The
lost cause decidedly lost point Parents lost con-
idence and the school lost pupils. After little,
here was neither Sunday School nor superintend-
mt The Church South ceased to struggle against
lestiny and fate, and the children now STAY at
lone or else attend other schools.
But lately, at a picnic held by all the Sunday
schools in Ridgeland, DR.. Pompous Highhyer who
Oes the heavy chiyalrv business for ,our reoI South
I'm gentlemen, had his revenge for the failure and
olapse of his pet enterprise by reading to the as
emily from crumpled yellow manuscript, an adj
ress that had evidently been written ever So long
go for some Masonic festival. 1t was cruel but
rho ever knew revenge to be anything else than
ruel?