The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-08-30

WIT AND WISDON.
Rhine-Get astride a pork barrel.
Open-Air Services-Police duties.
Fresh Pears-Newly married couples.
Good Places to Board-Lumber yards.
The Jaws of Death-Dying speeches.
Personal" General Debility" is in the
city.
Urnegotiable Bills-Drafts on the ina
gination.
Do our domestic poultry enjoy foul
weather.
Ices in Vogue Among Poor People
Sacrifices.
Is safe safe when it is liable to be
blown open?
Never confide secrets to your relatives
will tell.
There is firm in Syracuse by the name
Settle s. Burst.
Why Women Are Sinners-Because they
SO many tares.
The wicked-est man in New York must
be q tallOw chandler.
The Fastest Thing Out-A conductors
baton it beats time.
People who are generous to Il fault are
apt to be stingy to a virtue.
A Texas print wishes Greeley an addi-
tional ism-the rheumatism.
A Long Pull-When you get hold of a
nose that measures four inches.
: Why is joiner less handsome than his
wife Because he is deal plancr.
Settlers Always Welcome in Any Com
munity-Thosc who pay their bills.
What is that which ties two persons, but
only touches one9 A wedding ring.
The Reason why "Nature Will Have
Her Way because she is feminine.
How to Turn an Honest Penny First
work for it, and then put it on Il lathe.
The Chicagoans encourage races between
milk wagons, and call them aquatic sports.
If bark is used for tanning, what is the
commercial value of the bark of tan ter.
rierF,
A correspondent says that " the greenest
servant he ever saw " was one entirely
black"
The Prayer of the Office Seeker-"Oh,
that 1 were an event, that l might take
placed"
There is no time spent with less thought
than a great part of that which is spent in
reading.
The Worlds Opinion-A mean man is
person with small income, who lives
within it,
Long words, like long dresses, frequently
hide something wrong about the under
standing.
Good women are not apt to grudge each
other anything but good clothes and good
husbands.
Quilp, who is a lover of music, says that
Comm Thro' the Rye" never goes "across
the grain"
A Man in Advance of His Time-One
who has been knocked into the middle OF
next week. -
Although nobody ever saw perpetual
do nnfII nj
motion saw.
A youth declared that his sister is so
tender-hearted that she can't be induced to
strike a light.
A woman, fond as she may be of talking,
could more easily close forever her mouth
than her heart.
A Texas paper accuses the members of
the convention of 90 wearing concealed
weapons openly
The fish in the recently stocked New
England rivers are expected to appear
spontaneously"
An old maid, being asked to subscribe
for a newspaper, refused, saying she always
made her own news.
The boot and shoe trade generally is
lively, but the most active members thereof
just now are sherry cobblers.
What is the difference between a young
lady and a night cap9 One is born to wed,
and the other is worn to bed.
Sidney Smith wrote to friend: q I'm
fortunately the house is full of cousins.
Would they were once removed"
.''T'm sitting on the style, Mary" as the
husband sang when he was pitched into for
singing on his wife's apology for bonnet.
Hood, in describing the meeting of a man
and lion, says "The man ran OFF with
all his might, and the lion with all his
mane."
"Its Il shame" said a starving corset
maker, "that l, who have stayed the stom.
achs of thousands should be without bread
myself"
The Rising Woman-She who hasn't got
her growth the rising mamie who is
being picked up by the policeman from the