The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-08-27

"Does the dentist kiss you when he
pulls your teeth pa" "No, my son
whyw' ooh, nothing only he kissed
ma, and she said it took all the ache
away; and I guess it did, for she laughed
all the way hOme."
A dog in Portsmouth, few days ago,
stole lot of sausages from lady's market
basket, and a'negro knocked the dog down
with brick and stole the sausages from
him.
; A Western editor says: Some people
spell mosquito with "u," thus, musqui-
to. We prefer to spell it with an So"
because we have no "u's'' for the insect.
An incorrigible lOafer, being taken to
task for his laziness, replied. 81 tell you
gentlemen you are mistaken, 1 have not a
lazy bone in my body, but the fact Is, |
rCas born tired"
elbow tall are you ?"' 81. stand six
feet in my shoes :" "Six feet in your
shoes Why, no man living can stand
more nor two feet in his shoes; you might
as we'll say you stood six heads in your
hat"
'I'm sitting on the style, Mary !" as
the husband sung when he was pitched
into for sitting on his wife's apology for a
bonnet.
"Do you keep matches :" asked would
be wit Of retail dealer. .,
ooh, yes" was the reply.
"Well, then | guess I'll take trotting
match"
The retailer Immediately handed him a
box of pills.
A young lady school teacher in Indiana
was lately endeavoring to impress upon
her scholars the terrible effects of the pun
ishment Of Nebuchadnezzar. She told
them that for seven years he ate grass just
like COW. Just then small boy asked:
"Did he give milk"
Two persons were once disputing so
loudly on the subject of religion, that
they awoke big dog which had been
sleeping on the hearth before them, and
he forthwith barked most furiously. An
old divine present, who had been quietly
slipping his tea while the disputes were
talking, gave the dog kick, and exclaim-
ed, "Hold your tongue, you silly brute
you know no more about it that they do"
'Is the sense of smelling more pleasant
than the sense of tasting!" was the sub
ject up before a debating club. Skilton
was the last to speak upon the negative,
and all were anxious to hear him, when,
ringing the bell, he ordered refreshing
mint julep, and slipped it off with great
gusto. Then turning to his opponents, he
handed the glass to the leading disputant,
and Numbered out, '.Now, sir, smell it p
It is needless to add that Skilton ''brought
down the house," and carried the decision
for the negative.
A young fellow whose better half had
presented him pair of bouncing twins,
attended church on Sunday. During the
discourse, the clergyman looked right at
our innocent friend, and said in tone Of
thrilling eloquence "Young man, you
have an important responsibility thrust
upon you" The newly fedged dad, sup
posing the preacher alluded to his peculiar
home event, considerably startled the au-
dience by exclaiming,
eyes, l have two of them"
A very talkative little girl used often
to annoy her mother by making remarks
about the visitors that came to the house.
On one occasion gentleman was expected
whose nose had been accidentally Aattened
nearly to his face. The mother cautioned
her child particularly to say nothing about
this feature. Imangine her CONSERVATION
when the little one clearly exclaimed:
MA, you told me not to say anything
about Mr.. Smiths nose. Why, he hasn't
got any,
An exchange very truly says: "The
best argument for short dresses is, they
give plain girls chance. What Nature
has denied the face she generally gives to
the Understandings" And the plain
girls are fond Of displaying it.
A resident in certain village, having
had sanded sugar sold to him, inserted in
the local paper the following: 'sNotice--I
bought Of a grocer in this village guam
tity of sugar, from which l obtained one
pound of sand. If the rascal who cheat
ed me will send to my address seven
pounds of good sugar, | will be satisfied;
if not, I shall expose him" The follow
ing day nine seven-pound packages of SUI
gar we're left at his residence from as
many different dealers, each surprising