The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1868-05-17

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o At tavern one night .z-. ...
Met to drink mis-; and d. reoa ssosshss to esch.nge
Says 1oSs, .,' = e p. NIL isns1sss css,s ,s!!e.esl
rhers !. o only % ons Snaae, and that's Ssrs~ss.p,
"Hm sure there's ono More, .. -
A most ts..ible knsye an and . bite itilaa - =
lhsi His dete., and hIotherp3 -! sI1
"oh, yes,r replied. Aose, & that's wrkAsp III.
Il lasting document-lAn Iron, vim. IN :.
Where suspicion finds ONE fault II creates
A bad aign-To sign another mans name
to note. .-.91o .5}cs ~; nj
Kyou want to rise in the world, go up in
a balloon. aallis ~. shslll- :" - tIi;'@ y -sfs,
Our good feelings have their seasons, as
flowers have. q 7-A.,sa ,s-',' Ias.i -
Irssh, yi.aem, love, seek reasons malice
seeks only causes. - !, s,lI a.. s1tt . -,
"Time 10 money" !" a. the man said when
Why is an 'unbrella like tired man Z
Because it is used up oEA'g - ae u i1rs
her batteries his head 10 10 '-2 4i.t Z lt
An unmistakable case Of black -ballingT
little crying negro baby i.TiE 5so.,r t,f 5.
Max1ydng and settling down il now called
co-OpsratiSst thouss-keepings . t'eij;i'!
The world has . million ro6sfs for q man,
but only one nest-The grave. i'ia
What sculpture is to block Of marble,
education is to the human soul.
Old sciences are unxaveled like old
stocking, by beginning at the foot. .fd
When a man is saddled with q bad wife
there are sure to be stirups int he family
There is man In this city who drinks so
much whiaky, that mosquitoes that bite him
die of deGrium tremens.
A forlorn editor says it is hard to live
without wife-no gentle heart to get up
of morning to build the fire.
"I don't think, indeed, that you are very
smart" No, indeed, wife, but everybody
knows that am awfu1ly shrewd."
The song of the repentant husband after
knocking his wife down: Z" Come rest in
my bosom, my own stricken dear"
An editor, sneering at the stupidity Of a
cotemporary, says, q The best thing he has
got off this week was a dirty shirt"
Smith, at table, passed Brown sausage.
The latter whistled, and the moment he
did so, every sausage wagged its tail.
A lady Of more wealth than culture ap-
piled at q Boston bookstore, recently, for
swe're in pickle now" said man in a
crowd GA regular JAM said another.
Heaven preserve us :" mourned an old
lady.
"Why do you prevaricate SO much :"
said lawyer to o witness can't help
it," she replied, as I've lost three 'front.'
teeth" 80, ~ .r.,,-s j. .s9.f
An exchange tells us of man whose
memory is so short that it only reaches to
his knees, and consequently never pays for
his boots. '-=~, .....,l4 ~. ..-.. ~ .-. as,,s
Speak of mems virtues, says Chinese
moralist, as if they were your own, and Of
their vices as if you were liable to their
punishment.
Brown: "Whose boys that, Jones Z"
Jones -" o I a relative of mine by mar
riage." Brown: {" What relation ~ Jones
ga son; that's all.
A young man stepped into book store
and said he wanted ga young mans COM
panion." "Well, sir" said the bookseller,
'here is my only daughter"
MNever listen to fiatterers," said a mother
to her daughter. "Why, mother, how shall
/ know that they hatter, without listen Z"
was the quick response of young miss.
A boy running about the streets crying,
was asked what was the matter He re-
Piled: "Want my mamma that's what's
the matter. told the E.rned thing she'd
lose me-"
George II, dying OF rupture of the heart,
and the periodicals of the day calling it a
visitation of God, person replied that it
was the only instance in which God ever
touched his heart.
A lady was urged by her friends to marry
a widower, and as an argument they spoke
of his two beautiful children. Children"
replied the lady. " are like toothpicks. A
person wants her own
A celebrated lawyer sonce said that the
three most troublesome clients he ever had
were a young lady who wanted to get mar