The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-08-08
oRooUET.

A painter must that poet be, ,,
And lay with brightest hnes ne;, n.s pAileI'
Who'd be the bard OF Croquetrle,
And sing the joys of hoop auo inahebT
Given a level lawn in June,
And six or eight enthusAstlc,
Who never m lss their hoops or spoon,
And are on buffers most sarcastic;
Given the girl whom you adore,
And given, too, that she's your side on;
Given q game not too soon DER,
And ne'er bore the line espied on;
Given a claret cup as cool
Asample Wenham ice can make it,
Given a code whose every rule
Is so defined that noue can break IL;
Given q very fragrant weed
Given she doesn't mind your smoking;
Given the players take no heed,
And most discreetly keep from joking;
Given all these-and proclaim,
Be Fortune friendly or capricious--
whether You win or lose the game
You'll find that Croquet is delicious.
By GUM Somebody has invented new
ink made of india-rubbsr. What boon this
will be to the gentlemen who have to supply
padding" to the magazines What bless
ing to the gentlemen whose misfortune II Is to
write for papers that insist upon plenty Of
"bounce" in their leaders What a comfort,
90, to the hard worked author who has to
write for eight or ten hours cat stretch ~
SHAKY Observation-Disclosures of earthquakes
have been discovered among the Assyrian
tablets at the British Museum. The scientific
world, however, has been much disappointed
on examination to find that the earthquakes
are merely noted down as omens, aud not for
any scientific purposes, so that for all practical
ends they are no great shakes.
THINK o. 'tTHAT'' WHEN YoU'RE SMOKING
ToBAccY.-Next to "Fancy Bread" " "Plain
Cooks" aud other items of that ilk, perhaps
the monosyllable 'that" is the most i'll used
word in the English language. How often
INV; toJ {n 30 ,,iy md
smoke iti
IT WoN'T WAsH.-It is a great mistake to
term the lower orders "The great unwashed." !"
Ask the opinion of any member of the police
force, and you will be surprised to hear how
often he is shown, even by the poorest of the
poor, "clean pair of heels"
A VERDANT IDEA.--The number OF persons
who have been ''warned OFF the turf'' is much
larger than is usually supposed. Every fire.
quenter of our public gardens must have seen
it notified over and over again that he is Gre
quested not to walk on the grass"
WHAT WILL You STAND ?--The papers report
that the late rain (when was it y has had a
most beneficial effect on the standing corn.
We trust that as a result the standing corn
will stand something handsome.
R. A.-THER PRoBABLE.-Many gems OF the
old masters are handed down to us on panel.
Judging from certain specimens on "the line''
at the Royal Academy Exhibition, artists now
adays draw on their imagination.
GIVE IT A NAME.-The D'Israeli Ministry
has been distinguished by so considerable an
amount of olapper. clawing that it should go
down to posterity as "The Ministry of all the
| IdlonS."
HEIGH-Ho Farmers may well rejoice over
the prospect of an abundant wheat harvest,
they must feel anything but hay-cock olorum
with the result of the grass crop.
TEMPUs FUGIT.-So thoroughly alive to this
important fact are the directors of the London
General Omnibus Company, that they find it
requisite to employ several "time-keepers."
A DIFFICULT PRoBLEM.--GiveD the Eyre-ea oil
the island of Jamaica, to discover to what
length line Of persecution may be produced.
THE HEIGHT OF INGRATIrUDE.-An artist cut
ting his pencil.
AN INJUNCTION NOT WORTH FOLLOWING
| Have a care
THE REAL Benefit OF CIERGY.-A Bishopric.