Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-04-07
KM KLatc Kan.

Night Lights Glow-worms
The Main Brace-Fighting cocks.
A standing dish in Utah-a spare rib.
The milliner's Paradise-The Needles.
What tree is rebel like? A sea cedar.
What State is high in the middle and round
at both ends? O-hl-o.
United james Briggs to Miss Ann Carr
The brig anchor is now secure.
A girl with ringing laugh caused an alarm
of fire in Peoria. They took her for belle.
How the railroads in this country were created
and propelled-V ander-bilt and Daniel Drew.
''Now that you are on my side, [ hope you
will stick to me, as the patient said to the
plaster.
Young men who complain of uneven side
walks Will find them less so by going home at
an earlier hour.
'Are you coming?" said the throat to the
oyster I'm on the point of it, muttered the
oyster to the fork
What is the difference between hungry
child and an afternoon shadow? One longs and
the other lengthens.
The hog may not be thoroughly posted in
he is there-the hog is.
A man being asked for his marriage certif-
cate showed big scar about the shape of
shovel which was satisfactory.
A Western paper says that an india rubber
omnibus is about to be invented, which, when
cram full, will hold couple more
A Western paper publishes an account of a
hole on hill side. The bank, it says, fell in
and left the hole sticking out some ten feet.
A dog in Toledo has just been released from
an accidental confinement of four weeks during
which he had nothing but his bark to gnaw
A man out West, who offered bail for friend,
was asked by the judge if he had an incum-
brance on his farm. "Oh, yes" said he "my
old woman"
The papers announce constellation of stars
at present performing at Niblo's. A wag sug-
gests that they form the constellation of the
Great Bare.
Our golden wedding will come off Just about
thirty years from now. We will make liberal
discount on any presents our friends design to
make us at that time: if handed in now
A wag short time since imposed upon the
editor Of the Princeton Republican the fifth
chapter Of Matthew as an original article, and
its orig gin was not discovered until the proof
sheet was read.
A young man once told Dr. Bethune that he
had enlisted in the army of Zion. 'ln which
church?'' asked the doctor In the Baptist,
was the reply. Il should call that joining the
navy" was the Doctors response
Little Frank was taught that every one was
made of dust. One day he was watching the
dust In the street as the wind was Whirling it in
eddies. What are you thinking of?o asked
his mother 90, said Frank, with serious
face, Il thought that the dust looked as though
there was going to be another little boy"
A gentleman was Gliding his son for staying
out late of nights-or rather early of next morn
ing-and said: why, when [ was of your age,
my father would not allow me to go out of the
house after dark!'' ''Then you had deuce of
a father-you had,'' sneered the young profit
gate. Whereupon the father very raShly vo-
ciferated: Il had a confounded sight better
one than you have, you young rascal!''
WANTED. Ten promising young men of our
town are anxious to procure situations as sons
an-laW in some respectable families within the
corporation limits or near. In return they are
willing to be used for parlor ornaments, keep
pound cake from moulding, scatter pap in-laws
green backs, and make ten fair damses SUI
premely happy. Here is chance for some
body to increase their families, and ought to be
improved by doting parents