The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-10-08
Short Paragraphs.

fee, and the matter and delivery do credit
to both parties"
A coach containing man and woman,
with one trunk on behind, is pleasingly
suggestive of matrimony; but a half dozen
young ones and several band boxes is much
more suggestive. There's no mistaking
that sign.
A boy who was left alone in candy
shop in the Bowery devoured four pounds
Of gum drops and came near dying, but
by prompt administration of remedies
his life was saved. This should be war;
ming to little boys not to eat over three
pounds and half of gum drops at one
time.
There is man in Jersey City so mean
that he buttons his shirts with waters. He
looks at his money through a magnifying
glass. By this means, he says, ten-cent
stamp looks as big as thousand dollar
greenback.
A Western editor requests of his sub
scribers who owe him more than six
years. subscription to send him lock of
their hair so that he may know that they
are still living.
A correspondent tells us how to pre-
vent hydrOphobia. Spriggins says thathe
once prevented severe case of the dread
full malady by simply getting on high
fence and staying there until the dog left.
ga woman is at the bottom of all mis-
chief" said Joe. "Yes," said Frank
sand when get into mischief my mother
is at the bottom of me-"
The Boston Transcript prints the fol-
lowing laconic epistles:
"Mr. B., see no good reason why
your piggs should run in my garden"
D."
"Mr. D, I see no good reason Cor
your spelling pigs with two g's.
B."
An affected young lady, seated in
rocking chair, reading the Bible, exclaim-
ed: "Mother, here is grammatical error
in the Bible p'
Mother, lowering her spectacles, and
approaching the reader in very sorutiniz-
ing attitude, says. "Kill it! kill it ! it is
the very thing that has been eating the
leaves and the ,bookmarks."
Bob Brown, did you say that my father
had not as much sense as Billy Smiths
little yellow dog9 No, never said no
such thing. never said that your fa-
ther had not as much sense as Billy
Smiths little yaller dog. All l said was
that Billy's little yaller dog had more
sense than your father: that's all I ever
said. Well, it's well for you you didn't
say the other, | tell you.
An old bachelor says the most difficult
part of surgery is to take the jaw out of q
woman.
The old gentleman who poked his head
from "behind the times" had it knocked
soundly by "passing event."
"I've got no hoops on this morning."
observed Clara. "How is it you don't
sing, then :" asked cousin John. "What
do you mean, stupid" "Why, if there
are no hoops the slaves are liable to come
out, you know"
It's rather remarkable that while sever
al thousand feet are required to make one
rood, single foot, properly applied, is Of
ten sufficient to make one civil.
SIS there any danger of the boa-con-
strictor biting Z" asked a visitor of zoo
logical Snowman. "Not the least" repli-
ed the Snowman; che never bites-he
swollers his wittles whole"
Some time since gentleman died in
the town of x, who, during life, refused
to believe in another world. Two or
three weeks after his demise, his wife re-
ccived through medium communica-
ton, which read as follows: "Dear wife,
now believe. Please send me my thin
elOthes.n
Two old friends met, not long since, af:
ter separation of thirty-fve years
"Well, Tom," said one, chow has the
world gone with you, old boyl Married
yet p dyes, and pve got family you
can't match-seven boys and one girl" 81
can match it, exactly" was the rely, @fol
l have seven girls and one boym
"What's that picture ont" said coun.
tryman, in our hearing, the other day, in
print store, to the proprietor, who was
turning over some engrayings.
@That sir," said the dealer, dis Joshua
commanding the sun to stand STILL"
ssDu tell Well, which is Josh and
which is his son Z"
A man with very large bald head wa.
complimented ON the fact that his capui
was analogous to Greenland. "Why so ~
he asked. "Because it is q great white
bare place." was the reply.
A boy entered stationary store the
other day, and asked the proprietor what
kind of pens he sold. "All kinds,n was
the reply. "Well, then, I'll take three
cents worth Of pig pens."
A wag on being asked what he had fol
dinner, replied, GA lean wife and the ruiz
Of man for sauce.n His dinner consisted
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