Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-04-08
A Tho,,sand Dollar Bill.

A Thousand Dollar Bill.
Away back in the State Of New Yorl
lived Dutch farmer, well.to-do in the worlt
who always kept about him thousand dol
lar bill. With this in his pocket, and .
coat on his back, no prided himself on play
ing tricks upon strangers particularly or
such country merchants as had recently
commenced business in the neighborhood
and were not acquainted with his pecuniar,
circumstances. .. .,sb 10.
As ON instance Of this kind, he went lately
to now merchant, with his clothes all ir
rags, his toes sticking out through his shoes
his hat without o crown, and his beard o
fortnight old, and ordered a few dollars
worth Of goods. The merchant stared OF
him but as there was no great hazard in
laying out articles for him. none Of which
were to be cut, be executed the command.
When the goods were ready the merchant
stared still more to hear his scurvy-looking
customer ask him to charge them.
"Charge them ~ exclaimed the man Of
merchandise, cha! ha! ha! we're not in the
habit Of charging our goods to everybody.
We keep sharp lookout for breakers"
wont you charge 'em, den?''
"Not to you, thank you. You must
have better coat upon your back to expect
to get credit from u.s."
"Den if you won't charge 'em, continued
/ the dutchman, with great moderation, II
must dry an pay for EN- down. if so be,
supposen' I can muster money enough"
Then taking thousand dollar bill from
his pocket, be extended it to the merchant,
with sly leer on his face, and said:
"Will you change dat?"
"That-what 4! q thousand dollar bill Is
it possible that-that man Of your appear
ance-"
"What misther, be's you scarf, eh? Did
you never sec thousand doller bill afore 7"
IA man of your appearance - continued
the merchant in astonishment, with thou
sand dollar bill (! I could have sworn"
"None Of your swearing here, if you
please, misther, but give me mine change,
dat I may be off to mine farm again"
Of to your farm thousand dollar bill |!
Who are you, If may be so bold?" -"
"Who be's I? Why, don't you know
your own neighbors, man? My name is
Fritz Van Volger, poor farmer, NIT no
more as one thousand acres Of land, and dis
small bill in mine pocket, dat was-so, so,
if you will change il and let me be gone,
III thank you.
"Change it Lord, sir! where shall l get
money Of morning to change thousand
dallar bill ?" '''.
''Den I can't buy desc tings, as you can't
change mine little bill, and you won't trust
me-" '.'.
'Trust you, Mr.. Van volger! that I will
to the amount of one thousand dollars, if
you wish. You didn't suppose was afraid
to trust you, did you?"
'Haw, haw ''roared the Dutchman, as
loud as he could laugh; "you begin to haul
in your horns leetlc, does you? Strange
what wonders small thousand dollar bill
will work in q mans good opinion. So
you'll drust me now, will you?" .s
"Certainly, certainly sir.
"No III be vip'd if you shall-if so be,
supposin can find silver enough in mine
booklet to pay you"
As he said this he hauled out an old stock
ing full Of dollars, paid for the goods, and
giving another shaw, haw, haw," at the
astonishment and sudden change of opinion
of the merchant, he departed.