Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1868-08-05

kAOu " huOH AC4kCH AAC
ing and the conduct of the audience
are generally about equally below par.
That the reader may have some ade-
quate notion of these meetings, We
will describe one which came off at
Cstharine Market on Sunday morning,
the 2Sth day of June last:
The congregation was assembled on the
wharf at the foot of Catherine Street, fac
ing 8 schooner lying in the slip, which
their pulpit being pile of barrels of pro-
visions heaped upon the sehooner's deck.
The surroundings of the locality were not
favorable to q quiet Gospel love feast.
The first speaker was bilious, dyspep-
tic looking young man, whose advent was
cordially greeted by the crowd, some of
whom sympathetically inquired how he
had slept the night before, while others
solicitously asked if he'd had his morning
bitters yet, and one goOd-natured sailor
gravely advised MIN to take nip of gin,
and then bring it to the surface by exer
cising himself for an hour with fine
tooth comb.
Instead of meeting this cheerful railerY
Win EONA AdAlAEd NALNOIAOus ECAgA -
and thereby winning the respect and SYM
pathy of his hearers, the well-meaning
preacher, to our friend Arnold's great
grief and modification, lost his temper,
and began a furious rhodomOntade of
what ne no doubt imagined to be crushing
biblical invectIve. Raising his hand to-
ward the heavens, and glaring fercely up
on the isntalizing crowd, be exclaimed
-''FrOm the days of the Savior until now
the Kingdom Of Christ has suffered per-
secutiOn, and the kingdom Of Heaven has
suffered violence, and the violent have ia
ken it by force. Yea, furthermore, the
devoted servants of God have been revil-
ed by the wicked in all ages, but they
have not faltered or hinehed, nor will
they falter or finch now. 1 tell you e
your faces, that you are persecuting the
Kingdom of Christ, and that the judg'
ments OF Heaven are preparing to descend
upon you, and you will soon call for rocks
and mountains to fall upon you and hide
you from the wrath of him who sittett
upon the throne. 1 leave you to the wrath
and vengance Of an outraged and ineens-
ed God"
The crowd hooted and caterwauled tht
unfortunate gentleman, as he descended
from the pile Of provision barrels, an
were, Of course, in no auspicious mood fol
the reception of his successor, an elderly
man, short and dumpy in stature, wearing
old-fashioned round glassed, spectacles,
and wide brImmed, twenty cent straw
hat, tied with black tape, terminating il
q double bow-knot under the chin
This reverend gentleman's appearance
called out shout of welcome from thI
crowd and the uproar was so great, anC
the speakers voice so indistinet, that not
q word Of his di.cOurse could be under
stood. After awhile, the congregation
having got tired Of the preachers pantO'
mine and their own noise, quieted down
and gave him a chance TO be heard. Thil
turned outstO be the worst thing they
could have done for the preacher, for the
first audible remark was:
you're buckin' ag'in Christ. Ain't
you ashamed to be buekin' ag'in Christ
Did Christ ever go buckin' ag'in you
Then what do you go buckin ag'ln him
for 81
ave amt buckin' ag'in him" indig
nantly cried one of the sailors, and you'd
better tie fish to your tail and fancy your
self mermaid"
This led to a series of personal re-
marks" which were addressed to the
preacher with vehement unction.
How many bounties did you jump, old
buffer? asked one Of the worshippers.
How many panes of glass did you
break, when you jumped through the win
dow ?" yelled another.
''You had better go and return some oi
the money you stole on your bounhes,
said third.
'You should not expose your hanson
countenanee to the burning rays Of this
yer trnppercle sum-" cried fourth.
''Keep quiet, and let US hear the silver
tones of the old dolly-pOd," rOared a fifth
"What did ye rob yer wife of hersPorr
strings to tie yer hat with fort" queried
sixth.
''Td like to buy them two front teeth
yourn for garden spades" said stal
worth Hibernisn.
This lsst was dead hit, as the speaker
had but two front teeth, which were in
fact, tusks Of unusual magnitude. THU
the HIbernian's taunt struck home, and
the victims temper giving way, he made
no further effort to preach, but, raising
his hands appealingly to heaven, ne cried
80 Lord, let thy Indignation rest upon
this rowdy crowd, who came hither to dis
turb thy meetind, ang let Ere from heaven
come down and consume them, that they
may know that there is yet God Of Isa-
rel !"
This o5juration was received with such
tempest of hootings and howlings as eff.
fectually adjourned the religious exercises
Our Wiekedest Nan was not present at
the meeting above described, else things
might have gone differently. He has a
most unique way of quieting rowdies on
such occasions. He takes the ringleadeI
by the collar, and jerks him out Of hi:
boots and into decorum by q single appli-
cation of muscle. Or, he seizes some OBJ
streperous disturber by the throat, and
impressively exclaims:
"YOu lousy hound, what do you mean
by treating the ministers of the Gospel
with disrespeet7 When a gentleman tax Is
the trouble to bring you message from
heaven for nothing, arn't you man enough
10 listen to him respectfully! If catch
you making any more disturbance here,
III boot you into the dock !"
Another of his ''means of grace is to
take a boisterous wOrshipper by the collar,
and say:
SCENE here and take drink you son
Of q theft" And after administering q
dose Of Bourbon to him, he gives him q
jerk and a shove, and says to him, ''Now
20 and mind your Gospel and see that
you treat Your preacher respectfully, or
I'll button your nose over your eve %
Allen is tender hearted towards poor
children. He gathers them into his in
fernal place by dozens and scores during
lnclement weather, and often not only
feeds but clothes them; he also sends them
to Sabbath School Sometimes he goes
into the streets on the Sabbath and gath
ers up the vsgrant children in squads, and
marches them of to the Mission Sabbat
School in Dover street, or TO some other
similar institution elsewhere And he
looks to their behavior too, after he gets
them into Sabbath Sehtol, and takes q
fatherly interest in their welfare.
Among the most recent distinguished
visitors 70 Mr.. Aliens abode were several
large deputations from the Democratic
National Convention, when that instit u
ton was lately hOurishing in Fourteent b
Street. One company Of country dele
gates, numbering thirty, went down to
804 Water street, under the escort of Capt.
Thorne, OF the Fourth Precinct; and we
are informed that on one evening as
many as sixty delegates were present at
one time filing both bar-rOom and dan G.
ing saloon, and protruding upon the stoop
and sidewalk. They had ali read our &C
count of the Wickedest Man, and were