The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-09-05
FROM EARLvILLE.
GRANT CLUB.

GRANT CLUB
The readers Of the FREE TRADER will recol-
lect that the Grant Club died and was buried
long time ago, and no hopes have been entertain
cd of its resurrection. But on last Saturday
evening iAug 80 an abertivc attempt was made
TO breathe the breath Of life into its dead body.
d. A. Cook, (which is postmaster" Of Mendoza,
and Capt. Samuel Heslet, (which is" pedagogue
or MENDOZA, were invited TO Rarlville TO aid in
resurrectDg the club. Posters were up all
through tie town, urging the faithful to rally
Cook came into town ON afternoon train, and was
picked up on tho street by Capt. Norton. our
next sheriff. Capt Norton introduced him 70
several republicans, and finally took him to the
Office OF II. a. Chase, Esq, where he remained
until the first train went west, without speaking
to the club in the evening. When Capt. Norton
took charge OF Cook he W. .taning on the
street, looking very like q wet hen under coat
tail in a thunder STERN. Come again, Cook
(which is Postmaster" at Mendoza
Capt. Heslst, (which is Pedagogue- Of Men
dots, came and remained till evening when he
GRATED to eighteen republicans and seven demo-
Gratis, by actual count, in DR.. Wiley's Office il
Union Black No. / The Captain is a graduate
of Oberiin College, and he has been teaching
school and farming since his graduation. His
head is naturally thicker than the Moscow Bell
before il was cracked and fused by the great
confagation. Capt. GRATED, and my sakes" what
An Grafton. As the Capt. fell through his
speech he reminded Inc OF the opossum, which
fell through the tree top, breaking his fall by
catching sometimes by the forefoot, sometimes
by the hind foot, and then again by the tail
Capt. q am friend Of yours. Let me give
YOU little good advice. You don't want to be
regarded as a natural born fool. Don't undertake
to make very bad politician, when you can
make a respectable pedagogue. You don't GER
tainly know anything about the politics Of the
country. You are apparently an honest man.
Better, twice over, stick your thumb in your
mouth and suck the same while the people call
you a fool, than 90 about orationing. Your war
record is all glorious; you took good care of the
Captain. That you had a constitutional right to
do. You owed it TO your family. whenever An
''infernal red handed rebel approached you
with the evident design of gobbling you up, to
cry aloud for your boys "to save their captain"
This was mark of discretion, which few in the
heat of battle are selfpossessed and cool enough
to exercise. No, no. Captain, never try to be .
politician. You would make first rate farmer
but you can make respectable pedagcgue.
Come to Earlville whenever you can make it
convenient. We are always glad to see you but,
Capt, keep q close mouth. and you are all right
ARTEMUs WARD.
Your correspondent from Earlville, some few
weeks ago, in illustration of sermon delivered
here, entitled Fax" quoted little poem, writ.
ten by Artemus Ward. II was the only poem
he ever wrote and the only reason for asking its
republication is, that it was spoiled by the ty-
biographical errors. The poem is having quite
run in Eastern cities where Artemus was SO
KNOWN and is running with the same errors at
attached. The Ottawa Republican committed
the same errors in its publication. You will find
the poem in the first and best book ever written
by hm-"Artemus Ward-his book" The
papers east are crediting the FREE TRADER
with the publication of this poem
'IacnenS ne,
Clamb Il tree,
For his Lord to see,
And squatted down he"
You will see, if familiar with the Bible, that
this poem is biblical all over.
EXCURSION TO CHICAGO.
On Monday last Sept. y ten coaches were fill.
ed with country cousins, on a visit to their cou.
sins in Chicago. This grand excursion was got.
ten up in the interest of the Uuiversalist church
OF Earlville. Great credit is due to w. s Ralph
and Others, who inaugurated land CARED to a
successful issue this excursion. 1t was the lar.
g0st which ever passed over this road from Earl
vile to Chicago. The Universalist church Of
TINS place embodies quite large proportion Of
our wealthiest and most enterprising citizens
and when they undertake any enterprise in ear.