The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1868-12-30
SPICE OF LIFE,
Dear eating-venIson,

'4SC&A SttsALEs g SAAoOAS -
A clerical eFroF--RituRlism.
g Burning words, a dictionary in
flames. 80 --.,-., =.
= A COW bell, a beautiful milkniaid. /
The best substitute for silver, gold. !
What Is a whisky ring, a topaz.
& A bad sign, TO sign your name to /
another mans note.
When did Moses sleep five in . bed? /
when he slept with his torefathers.
81 A regular mystifieation, being /
caught in fog. p s,.2 80 saa I'D
The oldest business in the world, the |
nursery business. --I -lf
81 come to steal, - says the rat. 81 |
spring to embrace yOu, says the trap.
Attend your church, % the parsou ories,
To church each fair one goes; 81.
The old 60 there TO close their eyes,
The young to eye their clothes. sdI
Why is SOuf nose In the middle of
your face? Because it's the scenter.
The bachelor has to look out for 1
number one, the married man for
number two, i'--
some one SAYS of a certain congre-
CATION that they. pray on, their knees
on Sundays, and on their. neighbors
the rest Of the week. --l,.- 49,
"There now,n cried a little girl,
while ruinmagipg q drawer in O. bu-
reanEtts there! grand pa. has gone to
I heaven without his spectacles what
will he do ~ --lJ SYu..--r tcI li.Y y 3
. tsWhaE Is the meaning of lost in
| French 90 said cab driver to e. fer
eign gentlemaBs "PerClueY answered
the gentleman.e tsWell,9 them your
trunk Is, perdu. p said. the cab driver.
Miserable People. ~ Young ladies en-
EIainy Sundays, aud dresses playing
drip, drip, at every step. -A young
Edoeter who has just cured his first
patient, and alas no prospects OF an
other .Z-,' i@--' 1-.,-I --1 ' ---... .Gl
+ A handsome woman pleases the
eye but a good woman pleases. the
heart The one isa jewel, the other
a treasure. sa,I I'll ..--- 3 --:s .-z-.2d -
''I say, lin, don't you think CHA.
zier has a very benign cOuntenance ?''
avery; indeed, ;" was the reply, "a
regular Thy 8 e0untenance." Il III
Horne Tooke being asked by George
ifIH. whether he played cards, replied,
stII can, not your majesty, tell . King
iron! a. knaxesD . - 20 - --s, - Sd
y1eA A HissIssippi editor said of his1 local
candi didAte, before election He Is as
: fine q fellow as ever lifted hat to q
lady or boot to hlackguard, /" -
One Of the prettiest OF compliments
was paid by Sheridan to Miss Payne;
-'Tis true / ana IN; but 4 can not complain,
+ For he never knew pleasure, who never
q knew Paine, q 15i-sa - q. %. - -
Sactarianisnhi is g. miserable, short
{ sighted prejudice. it makes you hate
i your neighbor because he eats his oys,
! tiers roa.sfedI white you prefer them In
: : the she'll. -. -, ,-s-4.,-s
A barrisfer, observed TO- q learned
!, brothe, that be thought his whiskeri
4 very uppFofessio ional. sYou are right,
i replied his friend "a lawyer cannot
be too bGrefnced. s..J ..s..s 80 sz-a.,5 =
, Stephen Girard used to sayi:l :
"There's no difficulty in getting rich
not the least in the world the ytIrS
: million Is the anly dihcnlty-the rest
will make itself!''
r The old gentleman who thought hG
. lcould stop .Iet-hoie With + las essl
, cheese. shsss lust been ,overtaken Will
! another hailucination, viz, that young
women can be kept from knowing
whats What" by sending them tS
: boar rdfng school. ,-.,;i.----I yr1r,,z.-4 .
fSl4< All
that Influences the mind Of mani i
effects. nothing it undertakes ant
j hurts the man who is possessed by It
e more than the object sgaiAst. which
: is. directed. aiI E9Yi1o4T ,ZCEgr grG1D
$40, how many scruples are ther
IN q draehm 2}'1 S1-..I .IItC &
6Dontt know, Eur"
J 1Weli, remember, there's eight.
. Eight! pooh dad always takes hi
without no serupies." ~ --....,,t, -1.,.iS' A.
AWestern editor, whose subscrih
ers coin planned very loudly that p
4. did not give them news enough 70
their money, tSld them If they di'
:. not find enough in the paper they ha'
, better read the Bible, which, he ha'
. no doubt, would be news TO most Q
!, them. '.-. -, -, - /
le A, minister is about to lose one,
!. his CONGREGATION. The minister que
:. tions him as to his motives for leaving
= = tt:Haye you. any fault to ind with M
u breachfflo. brother ?'f tNOt for my
e self.7' was the reply. What oblS
ID ton has your wife ?'' followed up IN
a i inquirer 1tOh, none at all. r. a. "Ehe
= where Is the trouble, my friend ~
3 t'Why, my son says that he can't VI
" derstand what yon mean r. =, The mi
,e / ister looked sober for q moment an
~ then rejoined; 't.Wen, brother,
y suppose you must go; for can
1 preach and find brains too us.