The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-06-14
For the Sunday Crescent
SRAssHOPPIANA; Or ESSAYS ON
BUGS AND THINGS.
BY PBNRYN PENNIFEArHER.
ESSAY I.

II was a week day-very weak. The day had
no strength. In the words of the preacher, the
grasshopper was burden. Desire had not failed
in consequence-but the wheat crop had. In
short, the grasshopper had cropped all the grass
short of, and then had hoped on to the crop and
cropped it short, whence there was a short crop;
but the gfasshopper's crop was full, and there.
fore men called him burden. Not bird in the
hand, dear reader, though his hand was inland
his foot too, for that matter and his head and his
TAIL and his wings and his whole corporeal being,
particularly his mouth for the grasshopper in
question was unquestionably hungry, and his
mouth was playing prominent part at the time
of which l write. have said he was not a bird
in the hand, nor was he; buth he was most emphat-
ically (no joke about the phdt-this grasshopper
was one Of The lean kline or kind; say he was most
enphsticslly better than two millions or billions
as you plesse) in the bush. The bushes were
filed with grasshoppers and 30 were the trees.
Still they were not reasonably ambu shed, how
ever much of i'll their presence threatened to the
state-of the harvest and however little ill it
BODIED those who boarded round about. No they
moved OF emily; and 1t was clear to all that though
in their passage they darkehed the air, they were
going TO alight
Where was this, dear reader? You do not pro-
badly know. do. am msgnanimous and tell
you. II was in Texas. II was on the Cibolo.
The CibOlo is written so, but it is not called so.
Oh, no 1t is stream stream late concealed
by the fringe Of its willows" as Byron so touch.
iDgly remarks about the " Bride of AbydOs.n Any
enc walking by its placid banks may see a willow
growing there. Therefore it is called See lCiLOlC.
The ignorant Mexicans however, not understand
ing English, spet it wrong, and 1t has never been
corrected. If Noah Webster had lived there he
would have taught them better. What pity he
did not
N. W. was very good at teaching people how
TO spell-particularly their own language. He
was of much assistance to the English in that
way; but with their usual prejudice, they never
would acknowledge 10.
But this is leaving the grasshoppers. They
were leaving themselves, by the wsy-though
they were leaving nothing else by the way. And
as | am in the way of ways, | will only say that
their way was the broad way which leadeth to
destruction, and many there were that found ii.
GrasshOppers are remarkable animals. The
manner in which grasshoppers come is wonder
full. 1t is also housefull yardfull tubful, bucket
full and painful to behold. 1t is likewise painful
to be held-in dursnce vile, or any other while, if
the place where the holding goes on is not a
pleasant place. Pleasant places are various.
The old saw saws thus: " Many men of many
minds" and if a man doesn't mind it doesn't
make much difference; though of all places the
one l think / should dislike most to be placed in
is the place where a hanging is about 10 take
place, that is, if / were the man with the rope
around my neck. Now, legally speaking, the
place Of hanger is a more pleasant place than
that of hGngee, and must always have place,
since the duty must fall on some one in order that
the felon all get his dues-not the de VS. that are
shed from Heaven, and which the flowers catch,
but those that are shed from the gallows, and
which-Jack Keteh.
was always opposed to capital punishment.
| never could understand the use OF breaking a
maL'sneck in order to mend his morals In the same
way have been unable to see the advantage of the
penitentiary system. From my kno Wedge Of it,
workings, and | speak experimentally, having
spent several of the best years of my life in the
stone business, should say that the number of
penent thieves turned out annually is very small.
and speaking OF small things reminds me of
grasshOppers and that have wandered from my
subject-in other words, my pen is not kept in
due subsection, and the reader. left prey to the
deepest detection, can only conjecture what may
have been my objection to projecting my dis.
course in a trajectory less abjectly controlled by
injected adjectives which should have been re.
jected. Yes, reader, have an objection to pro.
jecting, etc.. etc.. etc. but will not freeze thy
young blood by its relation. l could, but won't.
Adieu Think of me. Farewell. (If You do
BY the way, / will say patheticallv, parentbeti.
cally, and postscripturally, that it is ali An
oriental humbug to try to make people believe
Hashiz good. pP