The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-05-30

"WHIcH, my dear lady, % TOu think tho
merr;est place in the worldP "That i'm
mediately above the atmosphere, because
/ am told that there all bodies lose their gra-
vity."
A PLATE OF aprles was being passed round
to a group Of children. There Was a fine red
one at the top, which a little girl took
"How greedy you are" said Der next neigh
Dor, ITO take the largest / meant To have
that myself"
A BosToN RpOthecary's clerk recently but
up a prescription, and found that his cu-to-
mer had passed on him q counterfeit twenty
i've cent piece and five cent bit He told
his employer. "Never mind said the phi-
iosophical Yankee, "if the five cent BIT is
good, there's a clean profit OF three cents"
A CASE was recently tried in QUE VI the
courts u Ohio about the sOundnsss 1f
horse, 10 which a clergyman, not eonverslnt
with such matters, appeared A. A witness.
lie was little confused in giving bis evil
deDce, and clustering lawyer, who exam
ined him, at last exclaimed:
'Pray sir, do you know the difference be-
tween a horse and a COW -
Il acknowledge my Ignorance" replied
the witness. 81 hardly know the difference
between horse and COW, or bully and
bull only that bull, am told, has hOrns.
and bully blowing with much respect to
the pettIl0gger), luckily for me, has none M
''IOu can retire, sir," said the lawyer,
''I've nothing more TO ask YOU"
A YOUNG Indian girl, who had c1riously
watched the process Of mark az barrel heads
il Touring mill ia Win0na, MINI stole
in one day, and, taking possession IN tho
stencils, Ornamented her blanket with words
"EllswOrth's Choice" aud paraded the
streets in great delight, but to the disgust 81
Mr.. Elsr 0rth, who is q bachelor, and has
made Nd such choice.
AT a recent radical caucus of cit- rolitici-
ans, ID Washington, colored delegate spoke
a. follows.
"Mr. Cheer don't believe any man can
say | ever told he in my life, and tell
YOU SayleS u. Bowen il "a man for "a niy-
ger. Who got our children "a privilege IN
goin' - school ia ike TO kn0wf WHY.
dat very same BJw a and II II warn't for
him dis day our children cluld'n5 rit anv
schoolin', Nlggers | tell You we've got 90
stick up TO our friends If iey u back on
1S, den vie desert 'em, and not until.
want every eOlOred man 10 oatea hold upon
dat Goddess Of Liberty on top o. de dome,
and II she falls, why catch hold Oh 10 rail
ms and if de railins glb way, hug de dome;
and If Dc dome gibs way, eaten hold Ob de
portico; and il de pcrtIco gibs way, dive
of into de fish pond whar de gold fish swim,
AMI wiggle waggle dar till be goes under" !"
IT was Stone wall Jacksou's custom when
be passed his men, 10 take off bis hat when
ever they cheered him. On his advance
against BANKS IN '62 hs bad occasion 70 pAss
Dick TAylOrs brigade during a hard raiu,
when one Ol the men, knowing his aversion
to applause, called out 10 bis c0mrade, "HlI-
Ter, Bill holier the OH fellow vii puIl otF
that id old cap and will ret bis mead wet
Whereupon the whole c0mmAna set uD a
shout, snd Bill had the satisfaction of seeing
the old cap come 0H-While his head got q
good duckIng.
liz who studies books gets the frame Of
knowledge, but be who studies men gets tie
soul.
True goodness is Ike a glow worm it
shines most when no eyes except those OF
heaven are upon il.
NEyEE indulge in what appeors to be A
little sin 10 will harden the heart and lead
to greater.
We spend half our lives ia making mis-
takes, and waste the poor remainder IN rev
hecting how easily We isht have avoided
them.
SHOW d. any Gods are there ~ was oucs
asked little boy. "Onen Glow do YOU
know thsr IS only one - "Beeause one hls
heaven and there IA no room for any more Z"
Two Irishmen we're travelling, when they
stopped 70 examine a gc'de-boara. Twelve
miles to Portland" said one. "Jnst SIX
miles apiece" said the other, And thsy
trudged on, apparently satisfied az the short
distance.
An Irishman, addicted to telling ouesr
stories, said he once saw man behealgl
With his hands tied behind him, who directly
picked up his head, and put II on bis should
ere IN the proper place.
''Ha! ha ! ha! said bystander, show
could be pick up his head when his hand.
were TIED behind him Z
AN sure what a fool you are,' said Pat
rick, 'couldn't be pick il up with nj.
I teeth 7"
I AT wedding in Delaware, recently. wher
all was arranged, and the min ister called on
any 70 speak who objected 70 the marriage, q
husky voice cried out. ~ do.''
All eyes were turned n the direction from
whence the voice emansted, when al indivi
dual emerged from the crowd, holding MI
handkerchief up 70 his eyes, and blubberIng
My DO you object, my friend - inquire,
the minister.
Because l want her myself" he replied.