The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-03-07
Mirellanp.
Macbeth.


Macbeth was Highlander, from Highland
county, Ohio. He was distantly related to the
Highlands of the Hudson. He early emigrated
to Scotland where he first attracted attention as
a brigadier of militia. One night, while cross
ing a lonely moor, coming home from general
muster, pretty well peppered,) he was accosted
by three witches one of whom cried, "All hail.
Macbeth. Thane of clam chowder y while anoth-
er saluted him king of the Cannibal islands J"
They all united in achorus of 'hoka, polka, waka,
fun" all of which had the effect TO inhame the
ambition of the general Thane he was already,
but there was one slight difficulty in the way of
his being kng-the position filled. Duncan
held the throne. and it was evident to the casual
observer that Duncan wasn't such donkey as
to abdicate it in favor of Mac or any other man.
He wrote to his wife all about it, limiting that he
would like the situation of king, should there be
a vacancy, having held almost every other office,
from alderman of his native village up.
Mrs. Macbeth was a strorg-minded female,
generally understood by the neighbors to wear
the breeches. She couldn't wait for Duncan to
pass away in the regular course of nature, so she
egged Macbeth on to hasten his demise and pos
sess the throne. An opportunity soon offered
The king one night having remained down until
the street cars had stopped running, was forced
to stop over night at the Macbeth residence
Mrs Macbeth showed him every attention. She
had fire built in the parlor stove, hot water for
him to wash in, etc. When the good king had
retired, Macbeth and his wife consulted together
as to the best possible plan for removing him
frsm world Of trouble. II was at length ar
ranged that she would get his servants drunk on
"apple jack" while he carved the aged Duncan.
She would have done it herself, she said, had he
not rosenlbled Macbeths father-n-law as he
slept.
Macbeth creeps on tip-toe to the kings bed
chamber and shortly returned with dagger in
each hand, stained with pokeberry juice The
deed is executed and stamped and only
Quires to be registered He was very pale and
trembled violently, being seized with remorse of
conscience which every william feels after com
uniting crime, until he Is satisfied that ne ism
going To be caught at it.
He is troubled about the pokeberry juice on
his hands, and wants to know if there is waite.
enough outside of the the temperance organiza-
tons to wash it off. She tells him that little
turpentne will easily fix that. He starts at
every sound, and seems to hear voice which
says, "sleep 10 more Macbeth doth murder
sleep" adding something to the effect that Mrs.
Winslows soothing syrup would be unavailing
in the future to insure him IA quiet nap. Dis
gusted with his timdity, she snatched the dag
gers from his hands and bearing them to the
front parlor places them by the side of the kings
servants, who are drunk under the piano. 1t
was for the purpose of fastening suspicion
them as the guilty parties, it being the well
known custom of murderers to lie down and go
to sleep Immediately after butchering gentle
man, with the CORY implements of their profess
sion in their hands.
Just before tlaybreak the door bell rings; Nc
Duff, a Scotch nobeman of Irish extraction, who
had been up all night at a Fenian ball. had stop
ped to inquire if the king was stirring yet, not
knowing that the king wouldn't stir any more.
Mac. eth directed him to the best bedroom where
the king lies.
He goes there, but quickly returns, with the
startling announcement that the king has been
murdered.
Macbeth takes on terribly about it, of course !:
Mrs. Macbeth comes in her nightgown, and is
carried out in a swoon; the neighbors are aroused
and messenger is dispatched at once for the
coroner Macbeth stabs the kings servants, and
tells the jury at the inquest that Re couldn't
help it when he saw what they had done--he
never mortified in all his life
The kings sons leave the country, fearing that
the Iaalady that had carried off their father
might run in the family, when Macbeth starts h
rumor that they are implicated in the assassina-
ton, and appoints himself king. Henceforth
his career is of blood, ably supported by
Mrs Macbeth, who, like the devoted wife that
she was, did all she could to promote her hus-
bands prosperity.
They killed Banquo, one OF King Duncan's
generals, but his ghost persisted in sitting at
their feasts which didn't improve their appetites
particularly, and was very uncivil in the ghost.
They carried on a general slaughterlng business
for some time, but at length McDutf raised
regiment of Fenians, and after vanquishing the
Queens Own" put all that the king owned to
flight, when Macbeth was killed in hand-to-
hand fight with McDuf His last words were
LAY on McDuf, and ID be he who cries
out Scotch Snuff" and McDuff laid on with
such effect that Macbeth was soon knocked out
of time.
Mrs. Macbeth went to America. The last
that was heard of her she was stumping Kansas,
under assumed name, in favor of female
suffrage