The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-01-31
avit and 9ynlllsr.

1.-THE Voices of the night"-Those
blessed babies.
Dying prayer of dog-Guide
my bark.
- Wiscon-sinners is as good de-
rivative name as Nash-Villians.
- A southern editor calls "Wal-
russia" "Dam-long way-offski.n
- A bad husband beats his wife.
and very bad wife beats the devil.
"A horrible pun was that of the
fellow who said. in reference to the
lady about to marry her eight husband
that she must be fasten-eight-in wild
Ow. 49, Ie.u3
- Brown the other dav. while
looking at the skeleton of donkey,
made avery natural quotation. "Ah,'
said he, "We are fearfully and Won
derfully made"
A printers apprentice saws that
at the office they charge him With ali
the Pi they do find. and at the house
they charge him with all they don't
find. He don't understand that kind OF
logic.
- A little four-year-old having
heard her father call her younger
brother "a little shaver" and desir-
ing to use the expression could come
no nearer to it than "Oh you little
barber shop!"
"A lady having accidentally broken
smelling bottle her husband who was
very petulant said to her; l declare nv
dear everything that belongs to you 10
more or less broken, sTrie, replied
the lady, for even you are a little crac-
ked." =
-" System is great thing; but
the advertiser who deemed it essential
to preserve an alphabetical order rath-
er overdid the matter, thusly ..Bi-
bles, black-ball, and butter; testaments.
tar, and treacle Cody books and gim,,
lets tor sale here"
- A negro in returning from
church was i'm ecstacies over The SER
mon, declaring that it was the best he
ever heard. Some one asked him to re-
peat a part oft, when he scratched his
woolly head and replied, ''nebber mock
de preacher" 80
in a well known house in this
city, the Rendezvous of foreigners. n
Frenchman thought to amuse the com
pany at the expense ofan intelligent
and good humored Swiss.
Your countrymen," said he @serye
under all European monarchs.''
- Mary? 'Don't you think, An
gelina, that the close of the sermon
was very fine ?''
Angelina "Oh 1 was so taken with
the clothes of Miss Goldwaithe that I
didn't. notice the close of the SER
men." qFH3f-..f
= One of our exchanges saws that a
dancing master in New York has in
PRODUCED the kiss Cotillion, in which
the gentleman always kisses the ladies
as they swing corners. rl
we are not much on the dance. but
would like to swing few corners
most awful WE'LL
Isl Walter Scott MEETING an Irish
beggar in the street, who importnned
him for sixpence, the great unkn0wn
not having one gave him shilling, adj
ding with laugh 80 =
MIND now, sir, You owe me a SIX
pence.,' ~
"Och sure enough" said the beppar
and God grant you life till paw You. +,
"A lady, the Gardiner (Mel Jour-
nal says, who recently visited , cprn-
etry with her little daughter. observed
on one of the stones neatly cut flo
ure of horse. Wondering WHY such
an emblem should be used, but conld
not md any clue to its appopriate-
ness when her little girl remarked
81 presume she died of the nightmare.
- A Southern LADY,. who is tha
wife of a prominent old extreme Rad
ical residing in one of the Northen
States, while engaged in plucking tha
gray hairs out Of lIer husbands mons
tache, was asked by him:
"What are you doing, my dear? ?"
"ODly carrying out your own nolicv
sir; DISCRIMINATING the whites for the
benifit of the blacks" was the reply.
=, A Missouri young lady wore her
newly purchased 'ttizziei' lleaddressto
bed, and on being suddenly awakenad
ard on hnding said ',hZzle' on her
pillow she was greatly alarmed. takino
the same for a Eegro's head she
screamed, grasplng the sfzzle.', and
tainted. Restoratives, light and a mo-
mentary survey explained the myste-
ry.
An old woman on steamboat
observed Two men pump up water to
wash the deck, and the captain heinz,
near by, she aecOsted him as follows.
gu a nCII dDOdEQ. en-
Yes, ma'am always carry one,'' said
the polite captain. ''Well that's clever
always did dislikeriver watei, especially
in dog days"
- Joe s. resides in Southern
Oregon. When his wife arrived in |
San Francisco en- rout to Join her lord. |
a gentleman asked her if She came by
water. -
YES came by steamboat"
"What steamship 2" "a
'Well | don't know what the name
ont was Sary Navady, (Siera Nevadal
was on to the blankits. but | don't r'aIv
know whether that was the name Of
the chambermaid or the steamboat!"
a clergyman favors us with a
story he says which is too good for even
him to keep. Enters to him burlv
reuton candidate for baptism. Cler-
gyman "loquitur.''
Q. What Is your name?
A. John Schneider +?
Q. Who made you!
A. God in heaven.
q. Who died to save sinners?
A: God.
q. No not God, bus the son of God,
A. Oh. yaas, yaas : 1t was one of
ne boys then. thought it was the a.,
id man. 4