The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-04-02

| mlrth.
I suppose his humor must have depended
much on manner, tone and little accidents
of place which could not be rendered on
paper; for it wcs generally understood
that Mr.. Rasper was an in-used man in
that he could never get any Of his good
| things into print
But not the less, whether his wit were
up to or below the standard of the comic
papers, he served that Office with fun
enough, and poor Mr.. Bog with more than
enough.
He did not often say ill-natured things;
but every wit must have his butt, his anvil,
on which to hammer and sharpen his darts,
ard Mr.. Bog did duty in that capacity.
Jester and jestee were as unlike in all
respects as any two men well could be.
Mr.. Rasper's work, and his way of doing
it, were like his conversation, light and
sprightly. He moved about with an elastic
quick step as if he had difficulty in re-
framing from dancing. He adorned his
writing with flourishes till it was hardly
legible. And when Mr.. Splitter tried to
make him discontinue those embellish-
ments, he gave such whimsical reasons
for their continuance that he always
laughed the manager out of his attempt to
find fault. s
Mr.. Bog was heavy and solid. His
handwriting was as regular as engraving.
His ledger had not blot in it from begin
ming to end And when any figure in it
had to be altered it was done so neatly as
plOdding, thoroughly reliable man; as
punctual as the clock, and as grave IN all
his ways slow in all things, but happily
above all things "slow to anger"
Mr.. Bog had never been known by any
one in the office to make joke; and had
not often, they said, been made to compre-
h ndO1e. Mr.. Rasper never made anything
else, and saw them where others intended
no such thing. MIR. Bog made up, however,
for his dizziness by the frankness with
which he admitted it, and by his invariable
good temper
1t was quite impossible to put him out,
and when the suspicion came across him,
as it did now and then, that Rasper had
more, he bore no malice, which was, in
deed, feeling into which he could not
enter. -....17f - = .
There was, however, one natter in
which all in the Office CONQUERED that they
had right to find fault with Bog. He
was unmarried, and all the rest were mar
ried men. -e- ~. 4sa .r ~
And on this shortcoming of his one and
all were determined that he should have
no peace. Not day passed but some
new hypothesis was started as to the rea-
son OF his continuing a bachelor; not a
day without some new name being sug
gested to him IS that of a lady with whom
he might yet have chance To all of
which suggestions Nj. Bog persistently
a i'd good-natureoly turned deaf ear.
A respite came to him twice year
(Which must have been very welcome)
from all this worrying.
Twice year Mr.. Bog went on his tray
els, for about month at a time. For it
was the custom of the house to let their
travelling be done by the clerks, instead of
keeping travellers to do nothing else. In
this way one or two of them were always
out, and all of them in turn had a pleas
ant relief from the lnonotony of Office life.
CHOW, Bog" Mr.. Rasper would say,
"you must really try and manage it this
journey. Represent your case once more
to that Leicester girl, and perhaps she'll
change her mind" It was one of Mr..
Rasper's friendly assumptions that Mr..
Bog had been rejected in every town he
went to, and Leicester being IN his round
it was usually the Leicester girl who was
recommended for second trial.
Mr.. Bog would answer in his stolid way
that if she really did relent he would let
Rasper know and so they would part, and
CAOuRA GuCy di1 l11SSCu DOR WHCA AC w cSo
on his travels, no one missed him more
than Rasper, or was so glad as he to see
him back again.
And thus the joke was repeated year af-
ter year, until at last Mr.. Boys case came
to be considered by all Of them so thor
oughly hopeless that if he had come down
some morning in a pink vest and lemon
colored tights no one would have thought
it half so surprising as that he should real
ly take Mr.. Rasper's advice. Mr.. Bog, in
deed, at forty five was held by one and
all to be utterly Impervious to female
Establishments.
Let the reader judge, therefore, for him
self, with what effect this bomD-shen fell
in the Office four days after Mr.. Bog was
supposed to have started on one of his
journeys.
The missile came by post in the shape
of newspaper addressed to Mr.. Rasper.
1t was provincial paper, not from Lei
cester, but from q city in quite another
quarter.
Mr.. Rasper had unfolded it and looked
it carelessly OVERHEAD read several items
OF local news, town-council squabbles,
workhouse board meetings, and other mat
tiers in which he took not the slightest in
terest, and was about to toss it into the
waste basket, when his eye caught sight
the purpose of attracting attention.
But even then he did not at once hit the
right column. Hunting fixtures for next
week." what on earth do care about
them "Hops two pounds cwt. higher y;
well, if they don't raise beer it doesn't mat
ter to ,ne. What Goes the old goose mean
by marking these?
At last, however, he did find it, and was
struck for moment speeches..
well, by Jove," he SAID at last, "this
is something. But don't believe it. Here's
Bog gone and put notice in the paper to
make us believe he has got married. Lis
ten, here it is"
''Same day, at st. Ambrose in this city, by tie
Rev: Edward Wheeler, the rector, Mr.. Thomas
Frederick Bog, of Higbury, to Emily, only daugh-
ter CT the late Theodore Phillips, Esq, of Kings
ton, jamaica" And then as if that were not
enough, here's note appended. editorial appar-
rently.
"f'Unusual interest attached to this wedding
from the fact of the bride being married-as we
are permitted to state-on her tenth birthday. ~
"Very fair, indeed, Mr.. Bog, said Ras-
per, as he finished very creditable for
first joke-only it's little overdone.
You'll do better next time. Now, my mer-
~ men, what do you think of it ?"
Not one in the Office believed word of
it, of course. 6 Neither do /, said Rasper;
s'but it really is very fair for Bog. l must
go and show it to Splutter."
But st that moment Mr.. Splitter came
in, and on being rendered the newspaper
waived the offer, and said, "Ah, ali, /
know all about it Boys wedding-thats
what you want me to look at, isn't it