The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1868-06-29

sisss
-
: Il nnst hare kost you quarts nv midnite
kerosene lie tew have setl 90 much that waz |
small, in dictionary that giitters like new
tin roof, smiled upon BY the morning glance
|, ! But few, alas ever grab this gorgeous
power, which seems to be as natural tn yu
az q peacock's tail In full bloorn.4 .Taslk.F.,
envy you, tiiss stebbins, bat envy is
mi best gate. / never can trot up to yure
style and reach the ETHEREAL top which you
roost on, and perforate the resp1endens sub.
limitys ov the konkave fskey.l waz. bit
for muddy going. Yu might az we'll ask an
elephant tew climb q creased liberty pole,
tail fust, and deliver 4th 'ov July orashun
on the top ov 1t tew the listening oherubs
in the attik world. ---------r------
Miss Jerush stebbins, if yu would only
turn yure genius into poetry for s weeks,
yu would heave bubble sixes eyry time.
/ would Bet mi last surviving dollar that
Tennyson, the british potter, would snuff
out his tallew dip in despair, would turn
oph hiz gas In agony, and would fux In
the skalding blaze ov yure glory similar
to creased rag in the fiery furnace Of
Shadrak. SSSs e. p < -. 81 - sNE
Longfellov would turn into thin ghost,
and walk the midnite earth in brogans. r
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Esq, would take
solitary drink and die az dead az the
concluding paragraph Of IN orthodox SER
min. .----, ...-..,.- -,.-e,,.
Whittier, the gentle and sainted Quaker,
would burn his poems at the stake, and
take job at ditching.
Dickens, the immortal Charles, would buy
another breastpin and go calmly and ma
turally, without sigh or o salt embittered
tear, into the jewelry business. Tsgg} =.
Old Homer, the dead giant Of stanza,
whose lions skin the poetic asses of these
later times have gallopped and gamboled
under, and whose writings sre the 10 COM
mandments Of poezy, which poets have ever
since tried to keep by stealing them-yea |!
the old 'patriark and proprietor of Parnasus
would kick oph hiz deth letters, and
gathering up his scattered bones, would run
out on eternity to welcome you, Jerush, and
probably insist upon having you Within the
holy grip ov wedlock. ,,ssss .,a'7.~ . ?
These things are solemn fax, my dear
girl, and don't be afrade few let them sink
into yu, for if you only=noe= yourself FORE
or 8 conseckutiv weaks yu are actually q
poet, with smoke-stacks; yu kant be held
| without wired bit, you kant be hid long
emmy how an oyster mite as well attempt
| to hide in hiZ shell or the 10 ov clubs to
change her spots. -,5,,. nInly &c. ar.l,,
| And now, Miss Stebbins, let me drop q
few3words ov advice touching the best way
tew git yourself in condition for the
coming fte. .Ts IA -. 80. Z, :. Fi.5:
Let the first thing you. do in the morning
be 20 rise arly, soak your feet often, drink
young hYson tea raw, abstain from awl an
imal food, especially old cheese (never you
mind what they say about cheeze being
good for Lively Imagination there amt a
mite of truth in it,; eat eggs, humming-
birds won't hurt you the least; eat, one Q
day on anTempty stonmuk; travel around
the lot lose without any Waterfall; don't
drink any alcohol gin and jamaka rum il
only good for beginners in male poetry
study Webster's dictionary unabridged, put
it under yure pillar at night, set on it thru
the day, eat oph from it, work the fly leaves
ov it up into curl papers after you have
got it all by hart bile Webster in potash
kettle for IL hours and drink up the juice.
This will make you poetess, loyelyest
thing on this earth, q solace tew man, q
fust-class mother, the best housekeeper be-
tween here and the village ov Dunkirk yer
will be as amiable as buttered toast; yer
hart will be as warm and stretchy as yarn
stocking; yure dress as tidy IS a violet
yure hair always parted exackly on the
equator; your face as fair and free from
| L. ipr
| p. S.-Jerushy, mi lovely school nom,
X II ov summers, if yer should
fail to be poetess by and by, after all that
human nature and Billings has done for
you, thare amt no poetry in the diktionna-
rvs, words fail to do the bizness,, the souls
| Of dandylions, and the kissing perfume
of the languid hollyauk, the liquid love
dalliance, that Gums like a ,nektrous vapor
from the brest oy the song bird, pillowed
among theleaves of the damask rose, when
at the birth of twilight he .woos his coy
sweetheart from the shady shadows ov the
sylvan shade, are aul, the whole pileing of
them, dead beats, and amt worth ten cents
pound to work up into poetry. > H.1.. 81 al
| 1t is barely possible that the poetry may
| be made out ov ideas, and that words are
mere gentlemen ushers, who bekum ridiki-
louf just as soon as they git above or below
their dizziness, and it is also barely posi-
BILE, but hardly probable, that there are q
CRATE menny now maxim themselves a
very skanty kiverlid ov glory by mixing up
poetry, who might make themselves respek-
table and beloved by cultiyating the small
mental patch that heaven has rented tew
them with white beans, or some other plain
but nutritious sass. 81 a n f = Z, 'on.,