The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1868-12-12
VARIOUS f1E..zs.

Edgar Poo's. Raven" produced the fo,-
lowing tumble:
''The other night, while we lay musing,
and cur weary brain confusing Ger the
topics Of the day. suddenly we heard the
rafting as Of sesricl host !, battling rs
they wranglel in their fury. What is
that! we cried, upstarting; slap, we ran
against the door. OH tis nothing, Mug
gins grumbied, as DER huge arm chair:
we stumbled. It's bug aud nothing more.
! Then said We, our anger rising (for we
thought 1t SO surprising that bug should
so oifend) do you think u small insect,
sir, thus the whole room would infect sir!
No! Ills not bug, my friend Now
becoming surely frightened, round our
waist our pants we frightened, and put
on our hats, then into the darkness peer
ing, we saw, with trembling and much
fearing, the gltring eyes of Thomas Cat
| with astonishment and wonder, we
gazed upon the sun of thunder as he sat
upon the floor when re solution taking
rapid movement making, 10 NC opencl
wide the door. Now clear out, we
hoafsely shouted, as o'cr head our boot
we fiouted; take your prcscc. from our
IL ,or. Then with air an M Ell IN .jestic,
this dear creature clllcI his exit without
growing, neither was his voice helrd
bowling. Not word he slil And
with feelings much elatcd, to escape
DOM SO fatel, we went slowly back to
bed"
There is a magistrate in town in Inli-
ana named Hclser. a Clergyman in the
same lace WAS called upon hy young
couple lately, who wished him IL. join
tn I'm in the holy bands of a;atriiT,ny.
He asked the bridegroom Ga solder. ty
the way,) for hi, marriage license. I ne
man in blue respos ded that he had been
engaged to the girl four years and ;houoht
that would do. The Clergyman t:,ou it
not, and re,narke |. as the easiest way t.
obtain Il license, You had better take
yoir girl an.l 20 to Geser." You can
20 to hell YOURSELF" re:or.ed tic angry
veteran. And SEEING the gi, by the Il, III
he dragged her from the hou>e wonder
iny what kind OF Il pruf..nc minister he
had met with.
Recently il gentleman entered Paris
omnibus, carrying with him Il bag. .h,ch
he placed on the seat beside him Soon
after the adjoining seat was occupied hy "a
young lady. Aiter bcst"wing frequent
10 ,.s of surprise and ialignation at her
neiglibor. lio remained perfectly uncon-
scious Of her di<q,ictu!e. sic suddenly
sprang upon her feet, and exciaimn:.
.'Insolent = gave him couple of sound
,xes on the car Ih. assaulted one lit
len 9Th venturei to ask why he had be
come the rec r:ent OF these favors =. gu
pincl,ed me," exclaimed the lady, furi-
ously. The gentleman made no reply,
but look in. under the seat, br"u chs to
light magnificent live lobster, which had
escaped from the bag
a German journal gives the following
dialogue between two sneak thieves in
Berlin Petcr-"WeYl, things have got
SO that there is no trusting anybody.
Now, the other day I gets into house,
and there was never soul at home. |
goes into the first story. and fads Il heap
Of fine things spoons, clothes, and all.
l makes 'em into a bundle and puts 'em
convenient to carry. Then / goes up
stairs to inspectionate around bit, and
comes down and finds some scallywag has
como in through my window, and stolen
my bundle and got off with it." Franz
swell, that is id dishonest. Folks
are getting to mean for anything
a young man in New Haven, recently,
rushed into Il drug store. and in great
alarm, asked if benzinc was poisonous.
mo" said the clerk ;''why z" Bccansc,"
said the fellow, her went to the closet
to take down the gin bottle, and by mis-
take, took several swallows before he
knew it, HE is all right" replied the
clerk. ''Thc only difference between
benzinc and modern gin is in the SMELL
cam 1 not little pale" inquired
lady, who was short and corpulent, of her
husband, who was not in the best of tenn
pers.
"You look more like ''big tub" was
the ''brutcs' reply.
Swedlle thinks that instead of giving
credit to whom it is due, the cash had
better be paid