The Ebensburg Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1865-1871, 1868-12-24
Rett&'s Christmas Eve.

Writing today, Retta?" Thequestion
came IN tone of surprise, as Mr.. Saun-
ders saw pen, ink, and paper placed upon
the little table at his bedside
eyes, indeed, papa. Why not ?"'
why, you told me yesterday of wonder
full preparations for my Christmas dinner,
all to be made to-day; o. turkey to stuff,
chicken pie to manufacture, pies to bake,
and pudding to boil, sauce to swecten, and
gravies to spice"
stop. stop! Allow me to remark, SIR,
that | am afraid your exalted ideas will
have to come down before your dinner
But all is done. Was [ not up before the
peep of day, baking and preparing, IL or
der to have time to spare for the editor of
the E9e1lRg ,Stur, who wants, if you
please, something .faamyf Funny! My
brains are baked as dry as chip, and my
head would certainly rattle if anybody
would take the trouble to shake it . Now,
papa, here is the pen, there the ink. and
under my hand the paper; only one thing
| is wanted-I haven; the ghost Of an idea." :"
cit is all some writer's ever do have, and
dreadful hard it seems to be to raise it,"
EDo YOU mean 60 be personal, Mr.. Saun-
ders ?"
''Not at all, Miss Retta. But what are
, you going to write, and must 1t be done to-
day You look tired"
i am not very tired, only rather weary
of pots and pans. Literature viii make
an agreeable variety. Amt it 1unny,
| papa to come from such direfully matter
oI-tact topics as roast meat and apple pies
to the Sorrows Of Soraphina' or the walls
of a broken spirit But this won't rite
my funny article Oh dear What is
| funny? [ amt [ feel as solemn as that
historical animal, church owl, though,
hind you, papa, [ am by no means prepar-
ed TO grant that an owl is any more solemn
| in church than he is out OF il"
"Where are all tie unfinished articles
you were talking about the Other lay 2"
'.Oh, those are my heroics They amt
funny. They are the wonderful produc-
tions that are one day to place me at the
head of American authoresses, and send
my name, wreathed in laurels, down to
posterity. They are to be the evidences
of the startling original genius of our tai
| ented contributor, Retta Somers, the high
| Unfinished artistic finish of which, etc, etc.
| You know all about it.
"Well, why don't you finish them -
Because whisper, papa walls have
ears Il cannot, if my life depended on it,
think of single startling original line
for one of them"
"Wont any of them do for this emer-
gency ?"
well there is the young man who fell
in love with the young lady"
"My dear, San you complain of want OF
originality ?''
''Don't be sarcastic, sir. And the young
lady drives him to despair by flirting with
young man number two, and L stopped
there, and have not decided whether 1t
shall be suicide or pistols for two. Then,
there is my mysterious murder, but l have
made the mystery SO deep that [ don't see
how in the world [ can ever explain it
and anyhow it isn't funny"
''Couldn't you introduce comic song y
"Now, papa AS if bringing ones
muse down to a caterer for bread and but
ter was not sufficiently aggravating with
out being made fun Of Come, sir, I'll
forgive you if you tell me something tc
write about"
''Put away your pen, then, and come
here, close to me. Lay your hand il
mine, and now listen. Once upon {
time"
Now, papa, you are going to make fur
of me-"
'You asked me to make fun for you
but you must not interrupt me. Once