The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1868-12-29
THE GATE CITY



m. aOv01WlDDpoD 1nhnn.
/ tYxtrasts fron Afsr- Dias~ Talk1
Come Professor, said Housewife, I'd
dressing . guest Who was Of European sepu
tation q maa of scieace, bat personally |
| stranger to the rest Of the company, s.it i
your place 70 PIT stop U tAisffivolsss tall
Tell % eonsthieg Of tie areet ee6pee wAicl
tho eoveumens sent yeu OF tOetessve ID
What s-ths- uame-of- the-placs. Cad, wish
they paH ~ for l0okie1 ufcafh smoked
glass q any interesting Object Of even il il
vsre not iDtRes1ine.
1--WE al ~ - ~ oG1spDs," obseGve1
Prof. PusElelon With delibsrstion, ''for the
same reason thas Nj. 0besi9Asa famous play
! Of tho Critic, the Spanish Arnady"-
"Oh, say i''@ interrupted funnidog.
/ It Was very rude Of him, and though the
Professor smiled With blandness, II was evil
| dent he understood the hint that had been
| given him that MIR. Shefidan's Critic was
not new play.
We al fastened 10 express our adherence
Of Funnidos and our sympathy With ont
ragged science but Mr.. Pozzleton, +. A. S.,
| declined altogether 70 become source OF
| information, although ~ Mr.. Smooth Smyler
remarked, be need not have been afraid Of
enlishtening anybody With IN eclipse.
II have however," observed the Professor
nbeen giving myself mp in the holidays, to
social arithmetic. and when We 60 up into
the drawing room, | will put . question or
two, which, although beneath the attention
Of gentleman Of such brilliant parts - some
| see around me- and he gave such glance
ct Funnidog a. ought TO have withered him
may perhaps excite some interest in the
ladies"
So, when We reached the drawing room,
there was formed around Prof. Puzzlstou
inst sust ring Of sttsntiivs listeners - hs L
accustomed TO SEQ about him at the Royal
Society, when he points out the sposs on the
sun.
Not one Of Us had the least idea What So
cial Arithmetic was, and Colonsl Thundsr>
bomb privately expressed to me his appre-
heneion that It might not BE- subject to be
talked Of in the presence Of ladies ct oil
"Those scientific fellows cir, they don't care
what they ssy, and i'll WAS housewife"
Hush r said !, "H's too late now. Let
10 listen.'
1.-TWO brothers," began the Professor,
impresslvely addressing the hostess, were
walking together down the street, and one Of
at the door, observing, have niece here
who is ILL. Thank Heaven observed the
other, i have got no niece ( and he walked
away. Now, how could that DO? Z"
why, its riddlep' exclaimed Mr.. Fun
nidog, delightedly.
''And one that you will not guess in q
hurry, simple - it ID, = observed the profess
sor, confidently. Come ladies and gentle
men solve the problem
Il see," calculated Mrs. Housewife.
6Hushl whispered IN my ear, ma'am,
cried Puzzlston, with oil the excitement OF |
child with top. "Don't let EN- hear it
Niece by mArriagel Stuff and nonsence. The
hing 10 not any fOolish kind OF catch Ct oil =
md ence more he glanced with hostility q
~ much - to oAy, "Such ~ he |
would ask yon," "Nothing can be simpler
hsn nv suest;on. I've eot niece here
hats il),' SAYS one brother. THANK Heaven,
have not got niece says the other How
AN that be-? You will i've il M /? Well, the
nvalid was his daughter"
"Oh, see" said Mrs, Housewife desmond.
nely, "How very stupid Of us mot to Rnd
ont ~
Eyes indeed. ma'am." asserted the 70.
saryant. ~. failure only shows
ow difficult it "a for ordinary minds to rrasp
moro than one idea at the same time, The
ttention is solely fixed on the different "
ieties OF nieces.''
.And also, observed Mr.. Aloes (who was
ouch displeesed At being ciassed among tsor.
mary minds land also the attention, it
sturally distracted from the point 1t issue
y the brutality Of the fathers remark. Now,
bat is in itself catch in my opinion
"Well sir. / will give you another simple
xercise for the uuder,tandios, that he's no
uch distractipr element, observed the Pro-
.ssor cody. "A biir d berear had brother.
he brother died. What rotation were they
, one auotherf Come tell me that p
aWhy, they were brothers. !" exclaimed the
olonei, With the rapidly off small 10Y at
,e bottom Of the class. Who hopes to R.in
romosion. asss,s $3.50
mo, SIR answered the professor, r..
arding 1hunderbomb with interest, ~
gni6cAnt type Of some low order Of intelli-
snce, t.they were not brothers, or should
'arcely have asked the question"
They might be brothers in law - suggest.
Funnidog.
Undoubtedly, they might be- replied !,
uzzleton. with p'ttying smile, "bnt they
ere not"
"Stop . bit" observed Mr.. Mcpherson
nrriedly, like one who has mot got his an ,
yer quite ready, but yet does not wish to be J
1tcipated. 'sIhe blind beggar, you say,
I'd brother, and the brother died. Well,
course, if one is dead, you know they
,uld not be brothers any longer" /.
The idea 10 novel; observed the profess
II gravely, "but you have not hit upon the
tact solution. The fact is, gentlemen and
dies, blind beggar may be either male or
male. They were brother and sister" !
Il call that catch, said Aloes gloomily.
well, at all events, il was IN easy one,
ID you Oil missed It, returned the Pro-
ssor, with quiet triumph" Now, III
ve you one more example of social
which shall be in all respects
ma fdc, II is . simple question in subetfac-
IN. and all ask you is-since two or three
'esses would arrive q the truth by mere
writs down the reply on pa