davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
Men of America.

The greatest man, cake him for all il
all" of the last hundred years, was Georgt
Washington, an american.
The greatest metaphysiclan was iona
than Edwards, an american.
The greatest natural philosopher was
Benjamin Franklin, an American
The greatest of living scuIptors is Hiram
Powers. an american.
The greatest writer on law, in the Eng
lish language for the present century, wa;
Judge Story, an American.
The greatest orators ever lived were Clay
Calhoun, and Webster, all americans.
The greatest of living historians are
George Bancroft, and VIM. NJ. Prescott
both americans.
The greatest ornithologist is John James
Audubon, an american.
There has been no English writer in the
present age whose works have been mark
ed with more humor, more refinement, OIL
more grace, than those of Washington IT.
vim, an american.
The greatest photographer and philolo
gist, since the time of Johnston, was Noah
w Webster, an american.
The inventors, whose works have been
productive of the greatest amount of hap
piness TO mankind IN the last century, were
Godfrey, Fitch, Fulton, and Whitney, all
AmericdnS.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

A SENSIBLE WIFE.-"Ptay, tell me, roy
dear, what is the cause Of those tears 2n
"Oh such disgrace have opened one of
your letters surprising it to be addressed to
mysely. Certainly it looks more like Mrs.
than Mr..
"Is that all What harm can there be in
a wife's opening husbands letter 2"
"But the contents Such disgrace %
"What has any one dared to write me
letter unfit for my wife to read ?"
"Oh, not Is couched in the most chaste
language. But the disgrace J"
Disgrace p Here the husband caught up
the letter, and commenced reading the epistle
that had given so much uneasiuess to his
wife.
Readers. you could not guess the cause in
a coon's age. 1t was no other.than bill from
a printer for nine years. subscription. u
The "disgrace" was wiped out almost i'm
mediately.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

| Now is her time.
But would advise voting ladies not to
be rash.
Although it is leap year, you had better
look before you leap.
Because if you get husband, and he
don't suit you, you can't change him for a
better one, at least, without going to Chi
cago.
There are several considerations to be
observed IN the selection of husband.
| Looks are matter of taste size, COM
plexion and color of whiskers may be left
TO individual taste.
They are of less consequence than dis
position or pecuniary resources.
Particularly the resources.
| L wouldn't advise any young woman to
marry man who would expect her to
support them.
1t is not fair thing on the old gentle
man, who has been looking forward to the
marriage of his daughter as happy release
from milliners bills.
Never disappoint your parents.
Young ladies need not inquire too par
ticularly whether the man of their choice
belongs to lodge, which meets four nights
in week.
She will find that ou: after they are mar
ried.
Husbands, like other domestic animals,
when caught young can sometimes be
trained to do a good many useful things.
They have even been known to get up in
the morning and light the fire when the
girl has gone away.
There are some professions not advisa-
BILE to marry into.
Such as editors for they never get rich.
Or politicians who are not satisfied with
one wife, but are always getting welded
to their country, and like mos. bigamists
abuse both their wives.
But as the great object is to get hus-
band, and as the supply is limited, it may
not do to be too particular.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

REMOVING A TIGHT FINGER RING.-It is
seldom necessary to file off ring which is
too tight to readily pass the joint of the fin
ger If the finger is swollen apply cold
water to reduce the Inflammation, then
wrap small rag wet in hot water around
the ring to expand the metal, and soap
the finger. A needle threaded with
strong silk can then be passed between the
ring and the finger, and person holding
the two ends and pulling the silk while
slowly sliding it around the periphery OF
the ring may readily remove the ring II
the ring is plain hoop this process is easy
if it has setting or protuberauce more
care will be required. Another method is
to pass piece of sewing silk under the ring
and wind the thread, in pretty close spirals
and snugy around the finger to the end.
Then take the lower end-that below the
ring-and begin unwinding. The ring is
certain to be removed unless the silk is
very weak. The winding congresses the
finger and renders the operation less diff
cult.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
Leap Year.

The Almanac makers inform MS that the
year 1868 is especially set apart for the
ladies-the unmarried portion we mean -
who, by time-honored custom and conces-
sion, are entitled to do good many things
this year, that they are denied on any 9th
er. They have the right to ask their " fel-
ler'' to take sleigh ride, go to concert,
or to church they have the right to draw
"their weasel and pay the bills; and
more, they have the right to do the court
ing, to put their arms around a piece Of
corduroy, and even pop the question"
This is nice, it is pleasant to hear the
idol of your heart in tremulous tones, say
" Dear Augustus, adored OF my heart, the
bright star of my future life, the sunbeam
of my waking hours, say, oh say, wilt
thou be mine, be all thine own dear Penne-
lope Ann's?" And then to hear the bash
full swain, holding his cambric, scented
with the flavor of thousand flowers, or a
skunk's cabbage, simper out Ask par and
mar p'
Shaw we can't do the subject justice
and will let Cory OLanus speak for us,
he knows all about such things, and he
Just got married.
1t is leap year.
OF which fact / wish to remind the la
dies.
There is a division of opinion as to the
right of woman to vote, but there can be
no question as to her right to a husband
if she can get one.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
A. A.Lady's Opinion of Lady's Man.

Mrs. Stephens, in her monthly maya
zine, gives certain class of men, the lik e
Of whom are seen in every community, the
benefit of her opinion as follows:
Our own private opinion on the lady s
man" is, that he is thoroughly contempti-
ble-a sort of life hardly worth thinking
about-a nut shell with the kernel wIther-
ed up-a handful of foam drifting over the
wine of life-something not altogether un-
pleasant to the fancy, but of no earthly
use. A woman of sense would as soon be
put to sea in a man-of-war made of shin
giles, or take up her residence in a card
house, as dream of attaching herself to
lady-kiler. Women worth the name are
seldom deceived into thinking our Iady's
man the choicest specimen of his SEX
Whatever their ignorance may be, woman
ly intuition must tell that the men who live
for great object, and whose spirits are so
firmly knit that they are able to encounter
the storms of life-men whose depth and
warmth of feeling resemble the powerful
current of a mighty river, and not the bub-
bles on its surface-who, if they love, are
never smitten by mere beauty of form or
features-that these men are more worthy
even of occupying their thoughts in idle
moments than the fops and men about
town, with whose attentions they amuse.
themselves. If we were to tell him this
he would only laugh; he has no pride
about him, although full of vanity, and it
matters not to him what we broadly affirm
or quietly insinuate. Soft and delicate
though he be, he as impervious to ridicule
as hod-carrier, and as regardless of hon.
est contempt as a clty-alderman. Were
you to hand him this article, he would take
it to some social party and read it aloud,
in the most melliffuous voice, as a homage
10 his own attractions.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

VINO ARE Your COMPANY p" He that
walketh with wise men shall be wise; but
companion of fools shall be destroyed"
1t is said to be property of the treefrog
that it acquires the color of whatever it ad :
here's to for short time. Thus, when
found on growing corn, it is commonly a
dark green. If found on white oak, it has
the color peculiar to that tree. Just so
it is with a man. Tell me whom you
chosen as your companions, and | will tell
who you are. Do you love the society of
the vulgar =? Then you are like them in
your sentiments Do you seek the society
of the profane -? In your heart you are
like them. Are testers and bufoons your
choice friends? He who loves to laugh at
folly is himself fool, and probably very
stupid one too. Do you love to seek the
society of the wise and good? Is this your
habit? Would you rather take the lowest
place among them than the highest among
others? Then you have already learned
to be wise and good, You may have made
much progress, but even good beginning
is not to be dispised Hold on your way,
and seek to be the companion of all that
fear God. So you shall be wise for your
itself and wise in eternity.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

L have quesuOneu
Soul of mine, till am wearied -
Pondered many a day, and wondered, with an un-
disguised desire.
As the stately suns sank slowly to their western
couch of fire.
And the tardy twiIghts fingered till the midnight
moons climbed higher,
If the gods-with gifts o'eraowiug-
In their rich and bestowIng,
Should but offer, should but profer one among the
magic. three,
owe, or Fame, or Gold unstinted, which of all thy
choice should be
Which coul d rouse thee into waking
From tie dumb and dreary aching
From the sorrow of to- morrow or the grievng Of to-
day,
From the stupor and the torpor, wearing thy sweet
life away;
Love, or Fame, or Gold oh answer, which the court
ed guerdon, say
Gold a wondrous wizard, surely,
Shining in the dark so purely
Lurng willing souls to maduess, with Its glamour
With its glare
Clasping gemmed and jeweled Doubles round each
skeleton of care,
Till their ghastllness break lightly into beauty ev-
erywhere;
Gold the tempter ! oh the beasurers
1t should buy thee, and the pie asurers -
Delicate and dainty offerings from hundred spicy
Isles,--
Adulation from the many and bewilderment OF
smiles
Dreams too beautiful should WOO thee
Should pursue. percbance undo thee;
Every star should glow promise, every bud on
flower, and tree,
Flush with hopes unspoken spIendor feeting, cheat
ing, though it be:
Deign response oh soul of silence. which the tempt
ing gift for thee
Or if gold yet lack the power
To beguile life 5 little hour
If its glitter fail to charm hee thy being would st
not crave
What the We rds great thousands toll FOR, mo for,
to the last slave.
Till the wild unrest sink breathless to uncom-
planning grave.
Yonder, like a FREELY dancing
Now ret reating .now advancing,
In and out the hazy shadows with grace 'twero
sweet to name,
Radiant garlands deity wreathing waits the gifted
goddess-Fame
Many a soul hath drained the chalice
Foaming in her gIitterIng palace
Many another knel in rapture but to press her gar
lneuts hem,
Or to grasp the pearl discovered from her peerless
diadem -
Love, or Fame, or Gold, unmeasursd, soul of sad
ness, which Of them
Yet no Autter, yet no waking
From the dumb and dreary aching
From the sorrow of tomorrow, the greying of to-
day,
From the stupor and the torpor wearing thy sweet
life away,
What shall rouse thee what shall save thee from
this wasting sIumber, pray
Love it must be-thOught hath guessed 1t,
For sigh of thine expressed it,
And stirful throbbIng creepcth through each limp
and languid vein,
Till the rudy life tide Ieapeh swiftly its course
again;
Though thy pride so silent made thee,
Loves .weet mention hath betrayed thee
Gold may dash thy sky with rainbOws where its
meteors fash and fall
Fame may hold thee and enlod thee in her fascinat
ing thrall,
But it's loves magnetic my stery that enslaves thee
more than all.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

1t is curious fact, that if a man is lost
in the woods and continues walking, he
will invariably 90 round in circle, con-
stantly veering to the left hand. 1t is be-
cause the right side of every human body
Except in the case of leit-handed peoplc)
is more developed than the left. Conse-
quently the muscles on that side are
strongest, and tend gradually throw the
whole body round. unesss the aim is direct
ed to some particular point.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
Artemus Ward was out late one night
Here is his account Of his return home.

Artemus Ward was out late one night
Here is his account of his return home.
at was late when returned home. The
children and my wife were all abed. But
cande-a candle made from taller of my own
rasin'- cleaned in Betsy's room. 1t gleam-
ed for I All was still. The sweet silver
moon was shinn' brite, and the beautiful
stars was up to their usual doins felt
sentimental mood still so gently otr me
stealing, and pawsed before Betsy's vim
der, and sung in kind Of operate vols as fol-
lers, impromtoo tn wit:
Wake, Betsy, wake,
My sweet galoot7
Rise up fair lady,
While toot my lutte
The Winder-I regret to say that the win
der went up with q violent crash, and form
in spotless white exclaimed, "Cum into the
house you old fool. To-morrer you'll be goin'
round complainin' about your liver"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
MY. BIRD.
BIT FANNY FORESTER.

Ere last years moon had left the sky,
A birding sought my Indian nest,
And folded. oh so lovingly
Her tiny wings upon my breast.
From morn till evenings purple tinge,
In wiRsome helplessness she lies,
Two rose leaves, with silken fringe,
Shut softly OH her starry eyes.
There's not in Ind. loyler bird
Broad earth owns not happier nest;
Oh, God, thsu hast fountain stirred,
Whose waters never more shall rest
This beautiful, mysterious thing,
This seeming visitant from heaven,
This bird with the immortal wing
To me to me, Thy hand has given.
The pulse first caught its tiny stroke,
The blood its crimson hue, from mine,
This life, which have dared invoke,
Henceforth is parallel with thin,.
A silent awe is in my room
trembIe with delicious fear;
The future, with its light and gloom,
Time and Eternity are here,
Doubts-hopes, in eager tumult rise
Hear, Oh my God one earnest prayer -
Room TO; my bird in Paradise,
And give her angel plumage there
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
NEWSPAPER SPoNGERs-An exchange

NEWSPAPER SPoNGERs-An exchange
makes the following sensible remarks:
'There are many people in the world
who make it business to sponge the read
ing of their county paper without any ex-
pense to themselves. This has often beer
noticed and commented upon. They are
found where ever the paper is left-u 9
shop, office, store or barber shop--apd Of
ten borrow it before the owner has an op.
portunity of raising it from the table Thi:
is done by very many who are abundantly
able, and whose dnty would seem to be tc
sustain their county paper by subscribing
and pay ing for the same ="
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
a AYER7S
CHERRY PICTORIAL.
The World's Great Kemedy Z

The Worlds Great Remedy Tor
Coughs, Colds, Incipient Con-
sumption, and for the relief
fConsumptive patients
in advanced stages
of the disease.
This has been so long used and so uni
yersaIly known, that we need do no more
than assure the public that its quality is kept
up to the best it ever has been, and that it
NAV be relied on to do all it has ever done.
Prepared by DR.. j. c. AVER & Co,
Practical and analytical Chemists
Lowell. Mass.
Sold by all druggists every where.
For sale byBunneIl & Bannatyne, and Lyman q
Wills, Tunkhaunock. Sterling Son, Meshoppen
Stevens Ackley, Laceyville, Frear, Dsan & Co
Factoryville, and all Druggists and DeUlsTs in med
cines everywhere.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

"Captain, what's the fare to 81. Louis ?"-
"What part of the boat do yon wish to 60 in,
cabin or deck 2" "Hang your cabln,r said
the gentleman from Indiana, II live IN a cab~
in at home give me the best you've got"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

INFANTILE EINNoCENcE.-"Papa,d didn't you
whip me once for biting little Tommy 2"
"Yes, my dear you hurt him very much.
"WelI, then, Papa. you ought 10 whip SIS
ter's music master, too he bit sister yester-
day afternoon right on the mouth, and
know it burt hur, because she put her arms
around his neck and tried to choke him."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Some sensible char says, truly, that per-
son ~ho undertakes to raise himself by scan
dalizing others, might as well sit down on
wheel barrow, and undertake to wheel him
self
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Another relic of the classic age has been
found in St. Louis, being dogs collar, sup
posed to have belong to Julius Caesar, from
the fact of hdring has name engrared on it !
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

gCuffy said he'd rather die in rail
road smash up than a steamboat burst up
for this reason =" If you gets offand smash
cd up, dar you is. bat if you gets bowed mp
on the boat, whar is you?
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
Wiss ann ptbermist.

Alter the clergyman had united a happy
pair, not long ago, an awful silence ensued,
which was broken by an impatient youth
excaiming Don't be SO unspeakably hap
py."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

An Arkansas traveller says he knew a
young fellow down South, who was SO fond
of young woman that he rubbed off his
nose kissing her shadow on the wall.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Throw piece Of meat among bears, and
purse Of gold among men, and which will be>
have the most outrageUusly-t men or the
beasts
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

A wag, on being asked what be had for
dinner, replied, "a lean wife, and the ruin of
a man for sauce" His dinner consisted of
spare rid of pork and apple sauce.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

The following notice might have been seen
some time ago, stuck up in corset makers
show>wiudow in Glasgow: "All sorts of la
dies stays here"
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

"Mo,her," said little square~built boy,
about five years old, "why don't the teacher
make me monitor sometimes / can lick ev-
cry boy in my class but one."
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

A thief was lately caught breaking into
song. He had already got through the frs:
bars, when policeman came up and hit him
with staye.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Laziness begins in cobwe5s and ends in
iron chains. 1t creeps over mau so slowly
and imperceptibly, that he is bound tight be-
fore he knows it.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

A quaker makes peas of his business
and then for relaxation makes a business of
his pleasure.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

So much whisky is drunk in Chicago that
thousands of mosquitoes have died of fdelerium
trcmens after biting Chicago citizens.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Rhyming lovers generally WOO their sweet
hearts in such wretched verse that it is no
wonder SO many of them are Tilted.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Grey hairs, like honest friends, are pluck
out and cast aside for telling unpleasant
truths.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

THE peculiar taint or
infection which we
call SCRoFULA turks
in the constitutions of
multitudes Of men. 1t
either produces or is
produced by an en-
feeblcd, vitiatcd state
of the blood, wherein
that fluid becomes in
competent to sustain
the vital forces in their
vigorous action, and
leaves the system to
fall into 1ieardor ouJ
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Why is the clock the most modest piece of
furniture Because it covers its face with its
hands and runs down its own works.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

No wonder that Weston is good walker.
1t turns out that he used to be collector for O
newspaper.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

Terms copy year, lin advance) S2G0; if
net paid within six xmenths, $3.50 will be charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar
tsIrIges paid unless at the option of publisher.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
VOL. Y II.
Wyuming Qemurrat,

A Democratic weekly
paper devoted to Poll
tics News, the Arts
and Sciences &c. Pub
lished every We dnes-
day, at Tunkhannock
Wyoming COunty,P
BY HARVEY SlCKleR
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
THE HEALING POOL,

AND HOUSE OF MERCY.
Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG
MEN on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE, and the Err
RORS. ABUSES and DISEASES which destroy the
manly powers. and create impedimcnts TO MAR
RIAGE, with sure means of relief. Sent in sealed
letter. enl elopes. free Of charge. Address Dr. J.
SKILLEN HOUGHTON, Howard Association,
Philadelphia. Pa.
6n44- year
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12

n l., PARRISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW
W. 0fh"e at the Court House, in Tunkhannock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
RATES OF ADVERTISING.


TEN LINES CONSTITUTE SQUARE.
One square one or three insertions. Isl 50
Every subsequent insertion less than S....' so
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ADVERTISING, a may be agreed upon,
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with paper, So.
Eg EDITORIAL or LOCAL ITEM advertising With
out Advertisement-l5 cts. per line. Libe raj terms
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EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI
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GI0US and LITERARY NOTICES. not Of general
interest, one half the regular rates.
- Al We rtisements must be handed in by TCEs-
DAT Noon to insure insertion the same week.
JOB WORK
Of all kinds neatly executed and at prices to suit
the times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
WORK must be paid for when ordered.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
JOB WORK

e-T Al vertisements must be handed in by TCEs-
DAT NOOK, to insure insertion the week.
Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-02-12
Bushes Notices.

ID II. n w. T. LITTLE ATTORNEYS Al
~ LAW Office en- TIOga Street Tunkhannock Pa
TT =. COOPER, PHYSICIAN d SURGEON
-. Newton Centre. Luzerne County Pa.