The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1868-03-20
Fse Search Offhe CIerk Of the Jss-
dietary Committee.

"Mark Twain" writes from Washington
to the Chicago Republican
81 was standing, all by myself, in the
committee room, reading a vast law book,
and wondering what it was about, and
whether the plaintiff had done so and so,
or whether it was the defendant and
which Of them they found guilty and
how in the mischief they ever knew he
was guilty wher the words were tangled
up so; and noting, with qualification,
The references to Perkins VS.. Bangs, Mo
Rep, ILL.,. &c, whereby it was apparent
that if Que did not get mixed up enough
III that book there wcre others that could
finish him and wondering also at the be-
wildoring tautology of the said aforesaid
book aforesaid, when youth to fortune
and 10 fame unknown apurished III in the
most risky way, and came to u halt be,
fore me This young man had a NOUS
tachc that dimmed the brightness of his
countenance about as your breath dims the
brightness Of razor ; and he bored down
into it With his fingers and gave it twist
which was singulariy gratifying to him,
considering that no effect was produced
upon the moustache by the operation -
III b. tilted his little soup-dish to the
port side of his head with his gloved hand,
and saii
"EIello j.
81 said Hello y
He looked surprised Then he said
DO you belong here p
| was just finishing a sentence about
Perkins vs. Bangs. | flushed it and OBJ
served : "Tho weather is very fno.'
He whisked nervously up aud down
the room couple Of turos, aud then
stopped before me aud said caro- you
the clerk of the Judiciary Committee :"
| said in the urbauost manner
SIN view Of tie circumstance that on
so short 40 acquaintance you betray SO
much soilcitude concerning my business,
| will venture to inquire what you may
happen to want with the clerk Of the Ju.
dietary Committee Z"
"Ihat is not answering my question:
Are you the clerk Of the judiciary Com
mttee 7"
ain view Of the circumstance that on
so short an acquaintance you betgay SO
much solicitudc concerning my business,
L will venture to inquire again what you
may happen to want with the clerk Of the
judiciary Committee p
THAT don't concern anybody but ne.
What l want to know is, are you, or are
you not the clerk of the Judiciary Com
mttee ?"
"In view, as | said before, of the cir
cumsauce that on so short an acGuain-
lance you betray so much solicitude con-
corning my business, l will venture to in
quire once again, what you may happen to
want with the clerk of the Judiciary Com
mittec ?"
lie scratched his head in apparent per-
plexity for n matter of five seconds, and
then said with elaboration and impress
sve earnestness
"Well, I'll be damned !"
~ presume SO. | hope SO. Still being
stranger, you cannot expect me to take
more than passing interest in your fu-
turs plans"
ole looked puzzled and little chafed.
he said "Look here, who are you u
"lu view of the circumstance -
ooh, curse the circumstance !"
"Amen."
Ho did not reply. He seemed worried
and annoyed. Presently he started out,
and said by George he would go after the
Michigan Senators and inquire into this
thing. l said they were esteemed ao-
quaintanees of mine, and asked him to
say that | was well. But he refused to
do this, notwithstanding all my politenoss,
and was profane again. l never saw such
frebrand as be was.
Now, what can that young fellow mean
by going around asking respectable people
if they are clerks Of Senate committees
Ii my feelings are to be outraged in this
way, cannot stay in Washington. l
don't like to be called Hello by strangers
with imaginary moustaches, either. This
young party turned out to be an importa-
tion from Kalamazoo, and he wished to
ship as sub clerk to the Judiciary Com
mittce lie is little fresh. 1t might
have been better if he had staid in the
Archaeological Gardens until he got
bis growth perhaps Sill, if his friends
would like to have the opinion of stran-
ger concerning him, l think he will make
success here, one way or another. lie has
spirit aud persistence. The only trouble
is, that be has most 100 much 'helo' about
him.