Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-02-05
Tom Collins ana the Widow.

Tom Collins ana the WlOOWs
DO you know anything about widders
asked Tom Collins.
We were about to make some reply, wher
he interrupted us by continuing:-
| Il know something about them to my sor
row, do-that is to say, one Of them did
once upon time, teach me lesson which ]
am not likely soon to forget and l reckon
there all about alike. Tell you how it was.
To me there was always something fascina.
ting about the word widder-guess it's so
with you, and all other gallant young men.
I do mt know why it is, but the more men
ton of it rather touches fellow in tender
place located Just under the watch fob Of his
jacket. don't mean to say that it works
that way with me now--the case is quite
difTerent-but that's the way it operated
away back when J. was several years younger
that is to say, when was shaver-for
you see / aint old enough to hurt anything
now
We ventured to say something about gray
hairs, but he drowned our words by contin-
uing in somewhat higher key
I say, that's the way it used to get me,
till little adventure with the widder limited
at rather fevolutionized my feeling on the
subject
when wasabout thirty rhemthat
| is to say, about the year eighteen twenty
pshaw !-excuse mc-Tve got my subject
sorter mixed up some way, for you know T. III
not more than thirty now, though some peo-
pie try to make me out older. They say I've
got gray hairs, and it may be true that I've
got few of them, but its notage that makes
them it's hard study. You see that I'm
4 sclI-made man, and you must know that
man, to reach degree of information equal
to that attained by me, and to do it all him
SELF has got to study hard. It's sa thousand
wonders that every hair in my head hasn't
been gray before now. Gray hairs brought
on that way are not dshonorab!e, though
some people would try to make out they
were. You know Eli Morris, up here
Well, he's a perfect chucklehead-
hardly know when he's cold and besides
he's one Of the most impudcnt chaps un-
hung. If it hadn't have been for the good
feeling I had for his fathers folks Id
thrashed him few days ago. The way Of
it is abou. this was talking to him just
as am now talking to you about how l
come to look so much older than / am, and
such like. when, said he: "If You have
studied SO hard in your time cant see how
it is that you've never learnt nothing |" 1t
was gross impudenco. Every man knows
what my intelligence is. IfId never learn
ed nothing, do you suppose the people'd
run me for the Office OF Squire l said that
to him, and said he, You got beat Said I,
it makes no difference if I did, for it was the
fault Of the fellcr that run against me, and
no, mine.
But to the widdcr. 1t was several years
ago. had been seeing her to church
good many times, and I'd met her at parties
time Or two, all Of which went to impress
mo in her favor, to say nothing of the few
thousand greenbacks which report said
would fall into the hands Of the lucky chap.
But 1 didn't care copper about the money.
I'd seen the wilder, and l fell in love with
her, just as feller would and so conclu-
ded I'd just see if couldn't persuade her
to be Mrs. Collins. Icaled to sec her one
dag. She eceived me very politely with all
kinds Of winning sluiles, and made me feel
entirely at home. We talked pleasantly
about this thing and that till I had almost
come to the point so much dreaded by bash
full loyers-in short I'd given her plainly to
understand whst my business was and she
seemed highly pleased with it. l began to
feel first rate, and try to study up the pro-
posed speech which had intended to make
her, when there was sudden interruption,
some one was coming down the road towards
the house. 1t was Sim Ringer, the Sheriff,
and very we'll 1 knew what he was arter.
You see Td-ahem--no--that is to say, my
friends had got me into some kind OF diff
Guilty, and the State, fool that is, wanted
to meddle in the matter / was evident that
Tom Collins had better be striking for tall
timber, so said L:
'Widder, yonder comes the Sheriff, and
reckon he's after me, for he's been looking
around for Inc these two or three days.
There's nothing the matter, only my folks
have got me into little difficulty. Can't
you hide me in some place till he leaves?
%, yes, Mr.. Collins, said she, sending q
bright smile entirely through me; just
step into the little room at the head Of the
stairs, and you'll be all safe enough
OF course stepped into the little room
ut the head Of the stairs.
Pretty soon l heard the Sheriff enter.
He was Dutchman.
rs der Tom Collins NIT yer at der house?
came up the stairway.
No sir; don't you see he is notwith me"
exclaimed the sweet voice of the widder.
4 leafs not said the Sheriff, and then
they went to talking about the matter.