davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

THE SECRETS OF A LONG LIFE.-One
of the1most sensible sayings on the art
of longevity, so far as It can be consid
cred attainahle, was that given by an
italian in his 10th year. Being asked
the secret of his living so long, he re
piled, with that improvisation for which
his countrymen are so generally noted,
"When hungry. of the best 1 eat,
And dry and warm keep my feet,
And screen my head from sun and rain
And let few cares perplex my BRAIN"
A writer observes that the last line
contains the quintessence of the best
advice that can be given on the subject
The deadliest foe to longevity is excite
ment. Every man is born with a GER
tain stock of vitality, which cannot be
increased, but may be husbanded or ex-
pended rapidly, as he deems best
Within certain limits he has his choice
to live fast or slow, to live extensively
or inextensively, to draw his little
amount of life over a large space, or to
condense it into a narrow one; but when
his stock at length becomes exhausted
he has no more.
He who lives extensively, who avoids
all stimulants, takes light exercise,
never overtasks himself, INDUCES no ex
hausting passions, feeds his mind and
heart on no exciting material, has no
facilitating pleasures, lets nothing ruff1e
his temper, keeps his accounts with
God and man daily squared up,'' is sure,
barring accidents, to spin out his life to
the loHgestsimit which it is possible to
attain; while he who lives intensely, on
highly seasoned food, whether material
or mental, fatigues his brain or body by
hard labor; exposes himself to inflam-
matory diseases, seeks continual excite
ment, gives loose reins to his passions,
frets at every trouble al enjoys little
repose, is burning the candle at both
ends, and is sure to shorten his days.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

Charles G. Leland is the man who
said that ga New Englander's idea of
hell was place where everybody had
to mind his own business" which is as
crisp as Macahlay's saying that the Puri-
tans hated bear batting, not because it
gave pain to the bear, but because it
gave pleasure to the spectators.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

If YOU are weak, you ought not to
drink, for your own sake. If you are
strong, you ought not by drinking to be-
come stumbling block for those who
are weak In either case young men do
not need whiskey. If they think that
they do, they ought to turn into "a hos
pital and have it administered under
medical prescription ut the hands of a
nurse.-TH Henry Ward Beeoher.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

Some wags took drunken fellow,
placed him in a graveyard, and waited
to see the effect. After short time the
fumes of the liquor left him, and his pos
ition being confined he sat upright, and
after looking around exclaimed, ''Well,
Pm the first that's riz! or else I'm con
foudedly beIated."
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

Tt is worthy to note that while the
whole North is Mortified at the dislOyal
repuguance of the Southern States to
black domination, the lower House of
the Ohio Legislature has just passed the
measure for perpetuatiHg caste, known
as the visible admixture bill" which
deprives Of the right to vote all persons
having a "visible admixtures' of negro
blood.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21
G be Natlbitorbes Spectator.
T E R M S /:

TIE SPECTATOR will be issued every Thursday
Morning. Subscription price-S5 per annum,
SO for six months IN ADVANCE.
ADVERTISEMENTS will be inserted at therate
of 81 so per square, for the first and 10 cents
for each subsequent insertion. Eight lines or
less, constitute one square.
Cards occupying the space of one square, $40
per year.
Liberal deductions from the above rates made
in favor of those who advertise more extensively
by the year, or for shorter period.
Marriage and Obituary notices exceeding four
lines in length, and all others published for the
benefit of private parties, will be charged as
advertisements. ,Gt1
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

A Prussian woman has revealed the
fact, upon her death bed, that she sub
stituted her own child for the infant OF
Countess, in whose employ she was
some thirty years ago. Both are alive,
and married in accordance with their
widely different stations, and the mud
die is as bad as it can be.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

PERSISTENT HARD WoRK.-Men
who use their muscles imagine that men
who depend upon their brains are
strangers to hard work. Never was
there greater mistake. Every sue
cossfHl merchant does more real hard
work in the first ten years of his bust
ness career than any farmer or black
smith ever dreamed of. Make up your
minds to work early or late, if necessary,
to fully master the details of the bust
ness upon which you propose to enter.
The habit of persistent, rapid work,
once formed, and you have gained mo-
rily through many pinch in business
where less persistent worker would
find it vastly easier to lie down and
fail.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

Chaplin says, 81 should not like to
preach TO a congregation who all believe
as l believe. ] would as soon preach to
a basket of eggs in their smooth com
pactvess and oval formality.''
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

An irTeverent story is told of young
man who made application for member
ship of church. and was placed on pro-
baton for the usual period. His con
duct having been exemplary, he was.
notified that he would be received, but
replied that he had about made up his
mind to join fire company.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21
DIR i. w. QUARLEs

TTaving permanently located IN Natchl1o .a
Ill offers his professional services to the town
and surrounding country, With more than thirty
years experience, he feels qnaiIiled 20 give sa'1s
faction aud will give prompt attention to all calls
both day and night.
He can be found at DIR. Breda's Drug store dn-
ring the day, and at night at the former residence
of Mrs Dassize Bossier on Washington street
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

A large cave has been explored near
Bentonville, Ark, to the distance of
nine miles. One chamber is six hun
dred feet wide, and three hundred feet
high.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

Hoods description of the meeting of
the man and the lion, ''when the man
ran off with all his might and the lion
with all his NAME" attained the acme of
whimsical absurdity ~ ~. " tu
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

EQUINE CENSUS OF THE WORLD
The following curious account is given
in Appleton's Cyclopedia of the num-
Der of horses in the various parts of
the world. The general estimate has
been eight to ten horses in Europe to
every hundred inhabitants. Denmark
has forty-five horses to every hundred
inhabitants, which is more than any
other European country. Great Britain
and Ireland have 100000 horses;
France, 5000, 900; Austrian Empire, ex-
elusive of Italy, 100000; Russia,
100000. The United States have
5000, 900, which is more than any Euro
pean country.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

A Paris paper relates that one man
stands at a street corner appealing to
passers by, with the words; 'Have pity
on poor unfortunate man who has had
his tax raised" That plea would suit
this country nowadays.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

This is pre- eminently the age of
monuments. The Sandwich Islanders
are about to erect one in honor of Capt.
Cook, as slight atouement for the con-
duct Of their foretathers in eating him.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

If you are a lover, don't love two
girls at once. Love is a good thing, but
tits like butter in warm weather--it
won't do to have too much on hand at
one time.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21
Drn1assinnaI Card.

J1he undersigned has the pleasure OF informing
the Public in general that he is still engaged
in the nrscice of his Profession in all its branches
Special attention paid to Chronic Diseases
confidential affections, &C., &c,
Ofsca Of Dr 7. p. BreCias residence, about one
half mile above the town of Natchitoches
Consultation fees moderate.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

ENGLISH LIBERALS ON AMERICAN
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. of the most con
spicuous of these English Radicals, to
whom the ultraists in this country have
generally looked for aid and comfort.
seem to be becoming apprehensive of
the results of the extravagancies of
their political allies in the United States
upon the progress of the liberal party
i'll England. The protest of Bright
against the impeachment of the Presi-
dent, the warning voice of Mill, and
last, and most signifcant of all, the late
illumination of the literary Jupiter of
English Radicalism, Goodwin Smith,
has fallen like bombshells into tire Radi-
cal camp of this country. Goodwin
Smith, one of the most distinguished
of the professors of Oxford University,
and an intense sympathizer with Ameri-
can Radicalism-an object of we'll nigu
idolatrous admiration to the most Guilt
waited of the Radical leaders in this
country, as we'll as to the rank and file
of the 'sLoyaf Leagues''-has written a
letter to the London Times, in which he
speaks of those who are hard at work
impeaching the President "for differing
with them in opinion" as seeking by
''infiammatory speeches and measures
of violence to spur enthusiasm again to
thO pIICD, anu Nv SO uOln3
they increase and precipitate reaction"
The learned professor proceeds to say
"that at present the Anglo-Saxon and
the negro are separated from each other
by almost the whole diapason of hu-
manity; that social fusion is impossible,
and that without social fusion political
fusion is difficult" he speaks of i'm
parchment as ''tending only to put the
feelings of the mass of this people,
weary of extreme measures and alarmed
for the Constitution, on the Presidents
side" He pronounces the whole Radi-
cal scheme of reconstruction s'irrational'
and, "most unkindest cut of ALL" de
clares that "the doctrine of State rights
itself has always seemed to him sound, >"
and that he, the great philosopher and
idol of American Radicalism, had
"always held that federation, not cen
tralized nationality, was the destined
system of the new world-the only sys-
tenn by which the blessings of union
could be extended to the communities of
whole continent, and reconciled with
liberty, self-government, and independ-
ence of mind.''
What a Judgment that is to come from
the very summit of the Radical Olym-
pus. One might imagine it was an ex-
tract from the forthcoming work of A.
Ell. Stephens, instead of the renowned
Radical of England, Goodwin Smith.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

EscAPED.-A Paris actress fell near
the footlights, but escaped injury from
the circumstance that she had nothing
on which could take fire.
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21

MY son, hold up your head and tell
me who was the strongest mani"
"Jonah."
"Why sou
"Cause the whale couldn't hold him
after he got him down."
Natchitoches spectator. [volume] (Natchitoches, La.) 1867-18??, 1868-05-21
professional Gar0s.
j. e. BREDA,
ATTORNEY at law,

nfice at The Drug Store of DIR. p. Breda, on
" Washington street, opposite Burke q
Walmsley's, Natchitocbes, "a.
Prompt attention paid TO all business entrusted
to his care.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05

WHAT'S A DARLINN.-We clip from an
exchange the following expansive definition
of darling" for the benefit of those of the
gentler sex who are so Fortunate or unfortu-
nate, as the case may be, to have some one
to whisper in their ears the words, "darling'
A Darling, as. we should speak the word,
would be very dear. good, heart loved girl,
or woman who held the innermost place in
our heart. She would be woman loved be-
yond all else in the world-a woman we
should defend before all mankind woman
whose lips were those OF truth and sacredness
whose happiness man could live fora
woman man would be proud ola woman
you could put your arm in gentleness around,
draw her to your heart, press kiss to her
lips and as her head half rested ON your
shoulder, look deep into her eye and whisper
'Darling" She would be a woman in whom
we had all the confidence in the world-one
man would be proud to make happy, and
whose pride would be in her husbands sue.
cess, happiness, reputation, her own good
name, her garden, her house, her friendships,
and the purity of her heart. "Darling
means everything words unspoken, kind ac-
tions waiting opportunity, hopes unexpressed,
faith untold for want Of suitable words-it is
the flower that beauties, the tree that bears
the most delicious fruit in season. The word
i volume
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05
DICHMOND WEEKLY DISTATCH,
III Enlarged and Improved for 1868.
CHEAPEST AND BEST

Family and Business Newspaper in the South.
Although the Weekly Dispatch for 1868 has
been greatly enlarged and improved, the price
will remain the same. We are determined to pub
lish the cheapest and best family and business
Newspaper in the South, at price placing it
within the ability of all to take it,
The Weekly Dispatch contains all the impor-
tant editorials of the Daily; careful and COM
plete summary Of Foreign and Domestic News 4;
latest news by telegraph from all parts of the
world; full and reliable Stock. Financial, Cattle
and General Market Reports; latest Agricultural
and Horticultural information !; q synopsis of the
proceedings of Congress and State Legislatures
when in session; proceedings Of Scientific, Ag-
ricultural, Religious and Literary Societies.; all
important Legal Decisions of State and Federal
Courts reviews of the most interesting and i'm
portant New Books; Popular stories by the best
writer's; and indeed everything of interest to
the Family Circle, the Merchant, Farmer, Pro-
fessional man, Mechanic and Laborer.
Our Washington correspondents will continue
to keep our readers informed, both by telegraph
and mail, of everything of Importance occurring
at the National Capitol.
TERMS OF THE WEEKLY DISPATCH:
Mail subscribers, single copy, one year, ", 90.
Mail subscribers, clubs Of five, addressedto names
of subscribers, $500 Five copies to one address,
$500. Ten copies to one address, $l5,00.
Terms cash in advance. Remittances may be
made by drafts, postal money orders, or in regis
tered letters at our risk.
The Daily Dispatch is mailed at Sc for one year.
The Semi Weekly Dispatch is published every
Tuesday and Friday, and mailed at 81 for one
year.
Specimen copies of all our editions sent on APP
plication. Address,
COWARDIN s. ELLYsON,
ian 22-tf Richmond, Va.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05
PROSPECTUS.
TNHE CHRISTIAN EXAMINER.

III
Since the close of the late great struggle, the
cry has come up from every quarter of the State
Scan we not have a paper p
paper for the defence, as we'll as for the pros
ecution of the essential truths and principles Of
primitive Christianity, has become desidera-
tum which the Disciples of Christ, in Virginia,
dare not longer dispense with.
Equal in numerical strenth, several others Of
the leading denominations Of Virginia-each of
whom has its organ-we have no means Of per-
manently correcting Interpretations, nor any
vehicle through which to confer one with another.
The time has now come when the Press must be
brought to the aid Of the Pulpit in prosecuting
the cause to which the Disciples Of Christ are
devoted. And to this end, resolutions were unan-
imously passed in the General Cooperation Of
the Disciples, recently held at Louisa Courthouse,
appointing the undersigned Us Editors. and re-
questing them to proceed Immediately in the es-
tablishment Of paper which shall be- in all
respects the representative organ Of Disciples Of
Christ in Virginia
In compliance, therefore, with these resolu-
TONS the undersigned announce that they will
publish in the City of Richmond
THE CHRISTIAN EXAMINER,
monthly paper Of large quarto size at the mod
crate price Of one dollar per annum. The first
number win be issued in the first week in Janua-
ay next-proUided that one thousand subscribers
t tim.
In ito mechanical finish The CHri.t;an Examiner
will not ha e1celled hv anv other naner s. tn.
state and wa nledoe c,,rseiyas 10 snara no na;ns
tn maize + in other regards uorthy Of the cause
which it represents.
orlv 70 ral;o;ons naners will ha eYcln1ed and
tins a laroer amannt If reading matter vii, bs
secured to subscr;hars
part;cular attention will, he o;ven II the family
circle and su;tahle tales and stories viii he f,r.
,,;sh al ~ aoch numher for tba .syoun. Folks q.
uonoo, !,
All All. corrosnondent. u;l, onr;ch ;to co,,nn.
viii; mn .he;r w.. conf ;but;ons
IL :. Ill Ill ~ asl-aa s.wh, =, hona waol,u 49,
Of leost Semi Montblv nanar -, Thase o,,est;ons
vsss thoroughly discussed j. The gsess1s.iea
aUa a ,.;.h naonthIn sha.t ~ ~. ia
Of one dollar nor annnm.we nrarn;se the bratS.
Won However # n au vii, hit a. ths;r dntv that
49,. 80 ~. ,a, sha, o,asa No s,;ll ;ss,,
.h =.
GU ~ 90 az 800 pap
vi 49,, - ~ n No.. . ~ H., ~
as. 9. praIays p;ehrnna. ,ba ao,,nt ,,,i 10
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05
The Phatt Man.

There IL only three things that belong to
other folks that | ever envy, and them is vir-
tue, flesh and understanding
l suppose it possibcl for man tew manu-
factur hiz own yirtew, and impruye his stock
of understanding but he kant kiver his long,
lean boldly Or bones with soft and pulpy
cushion Nv flesh, that il fur tn set down on.
/ never kun across a phatt man neetly
dressed. with silk and shining face cut gen
erously out ov warm meat and erased with a
pair Of smacking lips, az smoo!he and az gen.
tie red zthe doorway to sea shell, and gar
nished with graite pair of JUICY eyes that
air forever stopping over with gud natur
but what want to-call uncle and-kiss him
for my ant.
And thar (omboupint, beveave you call
it, } SO outspoken, so full of good things, II
equal to a dinner, fur a lean dinner, like me,
look at even.
I kant tell what makes one man SO phatt,
and the next one so like an empty stocking,
or manakin in narrow bolster, unless it is
that the phatt souls are like mountain spring,
fed from within and then run over the brim,
tn make others happy.
Did ye evew kuo phatt man tew commit
sewiclde ? guess you never did; they love
gravy tn well for that
Shakespeare loved old Jack Fallstaf more
than emmy pksur he ever drew, and though
he filed him to the edge with deviltry, and
stale heroism, and mulch sack, and but little
bread, he maid him phatt, and everybody
would be very sorry now to have this good
natured hollock ov flesh graded down out Of
thar memory.
When Shakespeare wanted sum pisen, he
sought, you remember, leer apothecary
who kept grocery of beggarly boxes.
Did you ever hear ov a phatt man being
hung? I guess not. They sometimes de-
stroy plum pudding, billed OK, but they
never murder emmy thing that amt gud to eat
That must have been phatt Frenchman
who exclaimed upon his first visit tn this kun
try, BY Gar, what people, Ten different
religions, and only one gravy"
Konclusion-I never new but one phatt
skoolmaster, and he want good for anything
only tew slide down hill with the boys This
satisfies me that phatt il only another name
for virtew.
Tocu RrryTNoc
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05

SELF RELIANcE.-Insist, says Ralph Wal
do Emerson, on yourself; never initiate
Your own gift you can present every moment
with the cumulative force of whole life's
cultivation but Of the adopted talent Of
another, you have only an extemporaneous
half possession. That which each can do best,
none but his Maker can teach him. No man
yet knows what it is, nor can till that person
has exhibited it. Where is the person who
could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the
person who could have instructed Franklin,
or Washington, OR Bacon, or Newton ? Every
great man is an unique. The Sciponism Of
Scipio is precisely that part he could not bor-
row. II anybody will tell me whom the
great man initiates in the original crisis when
he performs great act, will tell him who
else than himself can teach him. Shakspeares
will never be made by the study Of Shaks-
peare Do that which is assigned thee, and
thou canst not hope too much or dare t6a
much. There is at this moment, there is
me an utterance bare and grand as that
the colossal chisel of Phidias, or trowel
the Egyptians, or the pen Of Moses, or Da
but different from all these. Not poss
will the soul all rich, all eloquent, with II
sand cloven tongues deign to repeat its
but if I can hear what these patrial
say surely can reply to them in the s.
pitch of voice; for the ear and the ton
are two organs Of one nature. Dwell
there in the simple and noble regions of
life, obey thy heart, and thou shall reprod
the Foreworld again.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-02-05
JOSH BILLINGS.

A BUTTlNa MATcH.-A correspondent re-
lates the following laughable story: l knew
darky once, who, unlike most of his race,
was industrious and economical The result
was that he owned s'house and lot" near
little village in western Pennsylvania. He
concluded that it wouldn't do to own prop
erty Of this kind without keeping domestic
animals on it, aud determined to s'stock" it.
His first acquisition was an old sheep of the
male persuasion, which he was very fond Of.
His chief amusement was to get down on all
fours and nod defiance at the animal; seeing
which, the latter would make savage plunge
at him, and attempt to try whose head was
the hardest. ct was a question.) But as
the savage creature came forward like bat
tering ram, the darkey would incline his head
suddenly and drop his face upon the earth.
The consequence was, that the sheep, missing
his mark, would tumble over rod or two
One day TIE fellow called couple of passing
neighbors to witness the achievement. They
came to the fsuce and looked over while be
got down on his hands and knees as usual,
and begin to nod at his property. The sheep
did not seem to see him at first, but present
" raised its head from the grass on which it
was grazing. and frowned upon him.
sob, jis' watch him now !" said Sa.nbo in
glee.
Old bueky made rush, as was his wont
and Sambo suddenly drapped his face to the
ground. But as the fends would have it.
Ills fat nose came in contact with small
sharp snag he had not observed before, and
he jerked back just in time to receive the
full shock Of the sleeps head between his
own nose and wool There was such roll
Jag and tumbling over and over for the next
quarter of minute that the neighbors could
not tell which was the sheep and which was
the darby. They soon got separated, though,
and the darby got slowly up, grinning fool
ishly, and said:
"Pon my word, he nebber done dat afore !!
Getting too smart for dis niger! Use gwine
to stop foolin' wild such fellah as dat"
There was plenty Of mutton in the neigh
borhood next day, but the sheep was never
seen again.