davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02
@it and 4umor.
The Fat Man.

Bridget" said lady in the city of
Gotham one morning as she was reconnoi-
tering in the kitchen, "what quantity
OF soap-grease you have got here We can
get plenty of soap for it, and we must
exchange it for some. Watch for the fat
man, and when he comes along, tell him
want to speak to him."
g Yes num-" said Bridget.
All that morning, Bridget, between
each whisk of her dish-cloth, kept bright
lookcut from the kitchen window, and no
moving creature escaped her watchful gaze.
AT last her industry seemed about to be
rewarded, for down the street came large.
portly gentleman, fourishing large cane
and looking the very picture of good hui
NOR.
"Shure, there's the fat man now,"
thought Bridget; and when he was in
front of the house, out she flew, and infor-
med him that her mistress wished to speak
to him.
"Speak to me, my good girl?' replied
the old gentlemen
" Yes, sir; wants to speak to you and
says would you be kind enough to walk in,
This request, so direct, was not to be
refused, so, in state of wonderment, up
stairs went the gentleman, and up the
stairs went Bridget, and knocking at the
mistress door, put her head in and ex-
claimed:
g Fat gcntleman's in the parlor, num-"
30 saying, she instantly withdrew to the
lower regions.
q" In the parlor," thought the lady.
-" What can it mean? Bridget must have
blundered. -
But down to the parlor she went, and up
rose her fat friend, with his blandest smile
and most graceful bow.
" Your servant informed me, madam,
that you would like to speak to me. AT
your service, madam"
The mortified mistress saw the state of
the case Immediately, and smile wreathed
itself about her lips in spite of herself, and
she afterward said:
:" Will you pardon the terrible blunder
of raw Irish girl, my dear sir? l told
her to call in the fat man to take away the
soap-grease, when she saw him, and she
has made mistake, you see"
The jolly fat gentleman leaned back in
his chair, and laughed such hearty ha
ha ha! as never came from any of your
lean gentry.
mo apologies needed, madam" said
he. 1t is decidedly the best joke of the
season. Ha! ha ha so she took me for
the soap-greasc man, did she? 1t will
keep me laughing for months. Such
good joke!
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

"Porte-Crayon" relates this incident
in his last paper of d" Personal recollections
of the War;" Gone of our staff officers,
noted for his jovial habits, determined to
try the rare experiment of abstaining from
spirituous liquors for season. Late in
the evening he met the staff-surgeon who
was theoretical temperance man. Doc
tor" said he, haven't 1 heard you say
by abstinence from stimulating drinks a
mans days would be prolonged p " That
is my opinion" said the doctor, emphati-
cally. 81 agree with you, fully" said our
Colonel, with lonesome yawn. 81 resol-
we'd to drink nothing to-day, and it has
been the longest day of my life."
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02
A READER OF THE TRAYscR1pr

CAMDEN AND AMBoY.-The charter by
which the Camden and Amboy Railroad
Company has exercised monopoly of steam
transportation across the State of New
Jersey during the past quarter of a CEN
tury, expires by limitation at the close of
the present year. Several attempts have
been made during the past few years, to
induce the Legislature Of the State to re-
woke this charter, but without success.
The question naturally arises wether the
company possess the power to obtain
renewal ofthe charter. TO check the mon
opoly, if such thing be possible, petitions
are pouring into the Legislature. These
petitions are couchcd in emphatic language,
and are very numerously ly signed by all cas-
sess. The petitioners declare that the rail-
road monopoly has kept New Jersey, for a
quarter Of century, from moving on in
the natSral highway she pre-emineRtly pos
sesses, of progress and prosperity in inter-
nal improvements, in the development of
her agricultural, mineral and industrial
resources, until it has made the State obi
GUS snd contemplate to the people of all
the States in the Union. They urge the
Legislature to prevent the State from being
further oppressed and laid waste by the
extension or renewal of an odious and des-
tructive monopoly, and to enact a general
railroad law to enable the people in every
section of the State to have railroads where
ever they are willing to build them.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02
Female Beauty.

The ladies of Arabia stain their fingers
and toes red, their eyebrows black, and
their lips blue. In Persia they paint q
black streak around their eyes, and orna-
ment their faces with various figures
The japanese women gid their teeth, and
those of the Indians paint them red. The
pearl of the tooth must be dyed black to
be beautiful in Guzurat. The Hottentot
women paint the entire body in compart
ments of red and black In Greenland the
women color their faces with blue and yell
low, aud they frequently tattoo their bodies
by saturating threads in SCOT, inserting be-
meath the skin, and then drawing them
through. Hihdoo families, when they
wish to appear particularly lovely. smear
themselves with mixture of saffron, tu-
meric and grease. In nearly all the is
lands of the Pacific and Indian oceans, the
women, as well as the men, tattoo great
variety of figures on the face, the lips,
tongue, and the whole body. In New
Holland, they cut themselves with shells,
and keeping the wounds open long time,
form scars. in the flesh, which they deem
highly ornamental. And another singular
mutilation is made among them by taking
off, in infancy, the little finger of the left
hand at the second joint
In ancient Persia, an aquiline nose was
often thought worthy of the crowd; but
the Sumatran mother carefully fattens the
nose of her daughter. Among some of
the savage tribes of Oregon, and also in
Sumatra and Arcan, continual pressure is
applied to the skull, iu order to fatten it.
and thus give it new beauty. The
modern Persians have a strong aversion
to red hair. Turks, on the contrary, are
warm admirers of it.
In China, small, round eyes are liked,
and the girls are continually plucking their
eyebrows, that they may be thin and long.
But the great beauty of Chinese lady is
in her feet, which in her childhood are so
compressed by bandages as efrectually to
prevent any further increase in size. The
four smaller toes are bent under the foot,
to the sole of which they firmly adhere
and the poor girl not only endures much
pain, but becomes cripple for life. An
other mark of beauty consists in finger
nails so long that castings and bamboo are
necessary to preserve them from injury.
An African beauty must have small eyes,
thick lips, large fiat nose, and skin beau
tifully black. In New Guinea the nose is
perforated, and "a large piece of wood or
bone inserted. In the northwest coast of
America an incision more than two inches
IN length, is made in the lower lip, and
shen filled with wooden plug In GUM
"a the lips are pierced with thorns, the
heads being inside the mouth, and the
points resting on the chin.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

AUTHORS IN THEIR Own TIMEs.-Mil-
ton, while he lived, was little thought of; /;
Shakespeare was passed by with a hasty
notice but Walters easy strains were, in
his life time, much esteemed DIR. Darwin
was admired the satireB of Pope and
Churchill excited, in ting own times, a
lively interest; the playsNf Congreve were
rapturously applauded. 'Posterity has rec
tilted the error Unpopular Judgment. Only
by strong effort is Churchill now recalled
to mind. Some verses of Pope live, but
those only which express pithy sense in
terse, apt words. Who now reads the lus-
cious couplets of DR.. Darwin, or is famil-
lar with the conceits of Waller? But Mil
toms poetry of thought and faiths famil-
lar to all and the painting of nature and
of the human heart, by Shakespeare, is
admitted by untold thousands.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02
Letter from Frederielxtoyvn.
Correspondence Of the Mddleto,rn Transcri

correspondence q the 1iiddfaoirn Transcript.
Fredericktown is beautifully located on
the Sasssfras river, and few places of its
size can boast of more conveniences for
shipping. One of the most commodious
and well built granaries in this section of
the country has been erected here, and in
connection with it, large peach wharf,
from which was shipped, last summer,
60, 900 boxes of peaches. For this valu-
able improvement we are indebted to Capt.
John Walmsley, who is quite an enterpri-
sing and energetic young man. who has
added greatly to our shipping trade.
Our lumber and coal department is in
the hands of e. w. Lockwood, Esq. who
by his admirable business capacities has
won the confidence and the respect of the
public. He keeps always on hand good
assortment of lumber for building purpos-
es, also, hard and soft coal. In connec-
tion with his lumber yard he has erected
large box factory, where supply of
well-made peach boxes can be had to order.
There are two stores in Fredericktown,
one lately put up by Mr.. Owen Burns,
which is quite neat building. Our mer-
chants supply their customers with a good
assortment Of goods of all descriptions. l
must say for Mr.. Burns that he is worthy
to own property, for he has improved it
very much within the past two years.
MIR. Perry Ruley, our obliging butcher,
serves the village and country around with
the finest beef, and other meats in their
season. Next in order are our house car
penter and boat builder, Mr.. John Scho-
field and Mr.. John Barneby, both of which
are first class workmen.
Two steamboats,, at present, run from.
this place-one to Philadelphia, the other
to Baltimore, both of which are well pat
ronized. There is ferry boat also here,
and those wishing to cross the Sassafras,
from one county to the other can always
be accommodated There is also we'll
filled ice-house supplying the village and
the steamers with that cooling summer
luxury. l must not forget to remind your
readers that at nearly all times they can
find on hand variety of fresh fish, as a
number of fishermen resort to this place.
There are some very pretty residences
IN this town, among which is one lately
bought by Mr.. David Jervis, which un-
derstand is to be put in complete repair.
The attention of the public is at present
attracted to the bridging of the Sassafras
river, at this place, which will certainly
be one of the most useful improvements of
the age, connecting more closely the two
counties of Kent and Cecil.
| have thus, Mr.. Editor, given you
brief notice of our village, and submit it
to you for your readers.
Yours Truly,
A READER OF THE TRASscR1pr.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

DEPTH OF MILK PANs.-My own exper-
iments have demonstrated that to put milk
more than three inches deep in the pans,
entails a loss in the amount of cream; the
cream is so near of the same specific gray
ity as the milk, that it cannot raise through
very great depth again in large body
of milk, it requires longer time for it to
lose its animal heat, which must all be des-
troyed before the cream commences to rise :;
if any one will take the trouble to set a
shallow pan with not more than three in
ches of milk, away with bucketfull from
the same kiud, he will find that the pan
will raise nearly if not quite as thick cream
as the bucket.
L would not put away milk deeper than
from two and one half to three inches,
and have found the increased outlay for
pans is more than made up by the increase
in utter.-American Farmer.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

GONG ON THE BY-LAws.-A iovial, fat
friend of ours who occasionally drops
into the Sanctum, is always brim full and
running over with stories and from whom
we propose to filch, without giving him an
opportunity to obtain writ of quo ,car-
ranto, relates the following.
Jones was, or he believed he was near
his death, and the Doctor calling, he held
long and earnest conversation with him
about his chances of life. "Why man, q"
said the physician, "you are likely to die
any hour. You have been living for the
last fifteen years without constitution,
lungs gone, liver diseased, and all that
sort of thing"
"You don't mean to say" replied Jones,
questioningly, "that man can live for
fifteen years without constitution? ?"
Yes | do" retorted the Doctor, land
you are an example"
Then, Doctor" and bright smile il
Illuminated the palid face of the doomed
man, "then, Doctor, I'll go it ten. years
more on the bylaws" and he did /!
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

AN INTERESTING DIVORCE CASE IN New
HAvEN.-Mrs. Judd, wife of Rev. DR..
Judd. Baptist clergyman of New Haven,
Connecticut, applies for divorce on the
ground of adultery, misconduct and cru
city. Mr.. Judd files cross bill upon the
ground of misconduct. This case is now
on trial in New Haven, aud excites much
interest. MIR. Judd is possessed of con-.
siderable property. Mrs. Judd charges
Mr.. Judd with. adultery with Susannah
Reynolds. young woman who has been
and is still residing with Mr.. Judd as
housekeeper. A son-in-law of Mrs. Judd
testified to cruelty on the part of Mr.. Judd.
Mrs. Judd has been residing in Brooklyn
for year past She was the widow of L.
G. Gray, lawyer of New York city, by
whom she had three children. She was
Mr.. Judd's second wife. She testified
that Mr. Judd had exhibited great penu.
robustness in various ways.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

OYsrERs.-The oyster statistics of the
Chesapeake are given by Baltimore pa
per. It appears that the Chesapeake Bay
and its tributaries now yield IL 900. 900
bushels Of these delicious bivalves annually.
Over tvo-thirds of the trade goes to Balti-
more. Seventy houses are engaged in the
business, which gives employment to 49,
600 persons-men, women and children,
There are 100 boats, averaging so tons
each, and about 8 900 canoes engaged in
dredging and tonguing for oysters.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02
Srlttt portrp.
From the Atlantic Monthly, for April.
THE CLEAR VISION.
BY JOHN @. WHITTIER.

did but dream, never knew
What charms our sternest season wore.
Was never yet the sky so blue,
Was never earth so white before,
Till now never saw the glow
of sunset on yon hills of snow,
And never learned the bough's designs
OF beauty in its lcaflcss lines.
Did ever such morning break
As that my eastern windows see?
Did ever such moonlight take
Wierd photographs Of shrub and tree ?
Rang ever bells so wild and fleet
The music of the winter street?
Was ever yet sound by half
So merry as yon schoolboy's laugh2
o Earth with gladness over fraught,
No added charm thy face hath found;
Within my heart the change is wrought,
My footsteps make enchanted ground.
From couch Of pain and curtained room
Forth to thy light and air come,
To find in all that meets my eyes
The freshness of glad surprise.
Fair seems these winter days, and soon
Shall blow the warm west winds offspring,
To set the unbound rills in tune,
And hther urge the bluebird's wing,
1 ne Vdlej S,lan Hiu u.5h Ill hpNc''1 INC WoouS
Grow misty green with leahng buds,
And violets and wildnowers sway
Against the throbbing heart of May.
Break forth, my lips, in praise and own
The wiser love severely kind;
Since, richer for its chastening grown,
see, whereas once was blind.
The world, q, Father ! hath not wronged
With loss the life by Thee prolonged
But still, with every added year,
More beautiful Thy works appear
As Thou hast made Thy world without,
Make Thou more fair my world within;
Shine through its lingering clouds of doubt;
Rebuke its haunting shapes of sin;
Fill, brief or long, my granted span
OF life with love to Thee and man;
Strike when Thou wilt the hour of rest,
But let my last days be my best
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

How TO KEEP FLownRs Fresh. wri-
ter in the London Chemical NeWs tells US
that flowers can be kept perfectly fresh for
two weeks by simply putting into the wa
ter every day, when it is changed, pinch
of nitre Of soda. Saltpetre acts very much
in the same way. Whichever of these sub
stance is used must be in fine powder,
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

Why are old maids so devoted to their
cats p asked young coxcomb of an ell
derby lady. Because having no hus-
bands, they take to the next most trcach-
erous animals" was the reply.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

A lady who had read of the extensive
of odometers to tell how far a
carriage had been run, said she wished
some Connecticut genius would invent an
instrument to tell how far husbands had
been in the evening when they had just
stepped down to the postoffice.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

A handsome young bride was observed
to be in deep reflection on her wedding
day. One of her bridemaids asked her the
subject of her meditation "I was think
ing" she replied, (Which of my old
beaux l should marry if should become
a widow"
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

SINGULAR TREE.-In the Island of Goa,
near Bombay, there is singular vegeta-
BILE called the sorrowful tree," because
it only lourishes in the night. At suu-
set no flowers are to be seen, and yet,
after half an hour the tree is full of them
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

"Aw! how duth you like my mustachc,
Miss Laura ?" lisped dandy to merry
girl, "Oh, very much, 1t looks like the
fur on the back Of a caterpillar.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

When you 60 fishing be sure and take a
" bite before you start, for you may not
get one after.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

DIR. Franklin used to say that rich wild
ows are the only kind of secondhand goods
that sell at prime cost.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

% Now, put that back where you took
it FROM, as the young lady said when her
lover stole kiss.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

Woman, with all thy faults love
thee STILL" was the reply of a husband to
a scolding wife.
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

An pathological aspect-a bird's-eye
x,.nxu
Middletown transcript., 1868-05-02

"Too near to God for fear or change,
He shares the eternal calm"
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25
"The Queen of Medicine. "

A N ascription of praise more worthy the
II triumphs of art than gilded obelisks,
or monuments of stone, is the voluntary
testimony Of a grateful people. thou
sand hearts, and as many ready tongues,
yield willing and thankful tribute Of
praise to the merits Of that incompatible
panacea,
HEINITSH'S QUEENS DELIGHT.
These are the living trophies
"snatched from the curse disease has
brought,
To speak the triunphs skill has wrought"
In the brief poriod of twelve months,
over 5000 cases have been treated so sue
cessfully as to entitle it to be the wonder
Of the age.
For debility, prostration, nervousness,
mental depression, impaired digestion,
loss Of appetite, restlesness, want Of vital
force and low spirits, it is more invigorat-
ing and strengthening than all the COM
pounds of bark or bitters. AS a liver
invigorator, it is of inestimable value. As
q stimulant, it is safer and surer than all
the rum and whiskey tonics of the day,
and il you value your life and health
pins fee, avoid these quickening stimu-
iants to the grave and use the Queens
Delight. For sale by
FISHER & HEINITSH,
Jan 20 Drupgists
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25

: The stream Of time rolls rapidly
away into the ocean of eternity,
sweeping off in its impetuous course
all hamen thinsaE Reerty, sss.sl:oa,
genius, acocompliahments, wealth,
win be no more. Religion alone is
destined to survive The ruin. Vain,
then, very vain, all sublunary plea
sures, all earthly advantages. "There
is but one thing necessary"
A country editor, noticing the'de-
cease of wealthy gentleman, OBJ
serves: "He has died regretted by q
numerous circle of friends, and leav-
ing widow as disconsolate as any
widow need be who has obtained the
uncontrolled possession of 5000 per
annum. More than twenty young
men have sent letters of coincidence
to her..
ASLEEP. "A certain pastor (no mat
ter where) astonished his audience,
last Sabbath, by remarking that most
OF his people were asleep-part of
them in the house of God and the
rest at home.
CT don't like to patronize this
Hne," said culprlt to hangman,
who was adjusting the moose around
his neck. "Oh, never mind this
once" replied the hangman; sit will
soon suspend its operation.
s'I'm pining, love, for thee," is the
newest thing out in the song line.
She had better leave off pine and try
oak, maple or hemlock. Too much
pine, especially the soft sort, is 'un-
healthy"
'Steel your heart" said conside-
rate father to his son, "for you are
going now among some fascinating
girls" "I had much rather steal
theirs" said the unpromising young
man.
He who has never tried the COM
panionship of little child, has care
lessly passed by one of the greatest
pleasures of life, as one passes rare
flower without plucking it or knowing
its value.
When an acquaintance says, "How
are your and rushes by you, without
pausing for reply, I wouldn't fol-
low him more than mile to tell him
I was well.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25

CHARLESTON, 8. c., January 1S, 1868.
ON and after Sunday, January 19, the
~ Passenger Trains on the South Caro-
lima Railroad will run as follows, viz:
Leave Charleston for Columbia. 4. 80 q. n.
Arrive at Kingsville. e........ Is q. m.
Leave Kingsville. .......... II. 40 q. m.
Arrive at Columbia. ......... Ito p. m.
Leave Columbia 10. 90 o. m.
Arrive at Kngsville. .35 a. m.
Leave Kingsville. e.............. .12.O5 p. m.
Arrive at Charleston. 7.05 p. m.
The Passenger Train ON the Camden
Branch will connect with up and down
Columbia Trains and Wilmington and Man
chester Railroad Trains on MONDAYS,
WEDNESDAYS and SATURDAYS.
Night Express Freight and Passenger
Accommodation Train will run as follows:
Leave Charleston for Columbia. $40 p. n, !
Leave Columbia. ia.............. $50 D. m 1
Arrive at Charleston. $40 o. m /
Jan FL 81. T. PEAKE, GenI Supt.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25

Count Mirabeau,
A N HISTORICAL TALE; by Mundt.
N Translated by Brandford. In one
volume. Price $1.50; cloth 50.
History of the United Netherlands-se-
quel to Dutch Republic; by Motley.
A stormy Life, novel; by Lady Geor-
and 80.
Duf's Railroad. Bank and Merchants
Bookkeeping, now.
Queen E;ctoTia's new book, Life IN the
Highlands, &c. Price $175.
Also. new supply Of Inez. by author
Of st. Elmo. $1.75.
New English Novels, cheap. For sale at
j. J McCarter's bookstore.
Feb r. Il. BRYAN.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25
Jan 90
NJ. w. BYTHEWOOD,

Aasisneer and General Commission Merchant chant
On Washington ST.. rear OF A. Toueson's,
COLUMBIA. s. G.
TNHE above store having been rented, I
IL am from this day prepared to receive
consignments of Cotton, Corn, Flour,
Bacon, Groceries and Provisions in gene
raj; also, Furniture, Dry Goods, Clothing,
Tobacco, &c.
From my experience OF twenty years in
the auction and commission business, in
this city, Charleston and l,ewberry, s. C..
hope to receive liberal share of patron.
age from my old friends and the public
generally. Dec 19
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25
Laurens Railroad---New Schedule.
- ID 6sl
OFFICE LAURENs RAILROAD,

LAURENs O. H., s. c., July 10, 1867.
" trains will run over this Road as fol-
lows, until further notice:
Leave Laurens at 5 O'Clock o. m. on Mon .
days, Wednesdays and Fridays, and srrA g!
at Newberry at II o'clock q. m.
Leave Newberry on Mondays, Wednes-
days and Fridays, at fifty minutes after IL
Greenville and Columbia Railroad at Hele.
ma Shops. JOSEPH CREWS, Supt.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25
Potash, Potash. Potash.

JUST received, one cask CRUDE POT
~ ASH, for making Soap, cheaper and
by FISHER & HEINITSH,
Dec ~ Druggists.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-02-25

Passengers taking this route, going
North, have choice Of route from Green's
boro, Weldon or Portsmouth.
HB- Tickets good over either route !
Baggage checked through.
For THROUGH TICKETS to Richmond ]
Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia AND
Now York, apply at Ticket Office, foot Blan
ding street. CALEB BOUKNIGHT,
Oct 5 Snperintandent