Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-09-15
Clippings.

Men OF 1eellDg-plckpOcketS.
A popular summer haunt-Nahant.
The boarding house mystery-hash.
A mistake-to elope with the wrong girl.
The age all aspire to about this time-Bev-
erage
Not pleasant cushion to sit upon-A pin
cushion.
A schoolmistress-ho neat she spreads her
whacks.
A Feminine swindler-How skillfully she
builds her sell.
Where do all the pins go to !? Do they fall to
earth and become terra-pins?
A Staunton gentleman is about to commence
suit against noted Valley belle-for her hand.
A very benevolent old lady has taken the idea
into her head of knitting pair OF hose tor
6re-engine
Solomon advises the sluggard to go to the
ant but the shiftless in our day generally go
to their ''uncle.
An honest farmer writes to our agricultural
society: Gentlemen, please put me down on
your list of cattle for bull. y
A Connecticut editor gives an account of a
man who blew out his brains after bidding his
wife goodbye with shot gun -
A real estate agent informs the public "that
he has beautiful cottage for sale containing
ten rooms and an acre of land.
A young woman was made the happy moth
er of four bright children in Baltimore the 9TH
er day, and is doing well-a step-mother.
1t is thought dangerous thing to board a
man-of-war, but we know, says an exchange,
fifty soldiers, each man of war, boarded by a
single landlord.
Smithers says his wife has had a good run
ran off with Jackensnaps, one of his ighbors.
Smithers intends to let her run. Thinks it the
best letter in the alphabet-for him.
A traveller recently stopped at cabaret in
France, where the host had two sorts of wine,
which he called ''frst-table' and 'common-ta-
ble." | tried them both. said the traveller,
and found them lamen-table.
A boarder looked very discontentedly at a
beef;steak, and the landlady, having observed
him, said: Don the steak suit you ?" eyes
it's good enough, what there is of it; and there
is enough of it, such as it is.''
A Saratoga writer gets off this: "You call
that trunk, do you?" growls detected por
ter 1T only needs lightning rod to make it
look darned sight more like boarding house
than what's to be found in Saratogyl'
James who is the girl [ saw you walking
with?' Miss Hogg." "Hogg-Hogg well
she's to be pitied for having such a name -
$50 think" replied Jim; II pitied her so
much that | offered her mine, and she's going
to take it.
A correspondent writing from a village in
Pennsylvania, says "A respected citizen of this
place two days ago ate peck of peaches, ten
pears, watermelon, three pine apples, drank
half a gallon of beer, and left widow and two
children to mourn his loss.
The attachment of some ladies to their lap
dogs amounts in some instances to infatuation.
We heard of lap dog biting piece out of
male visitor leg. Her mistress thus express
ed her compassion: Poor little dear creature!
[ hope it will not make him sick ~
A young lady advertised for a dressing
One applied and in response to inquiry if she
was quick, she replied: 'Oh SO quick, that |
will engage to dress you every day In half an
hour I'm half an hourl" reiterated the la
dy and what shall do the rest of the day ?"
Young Truffles was observed to be climbing
a tree yesterday, when the paternal member of
the family inquired his purpose I'm going
to rise with the lark-you' We told me to do it
lots of times, and now I'm going to try" The
youthful Josephus had his eye on lark which
was perched gracefully on one of the upper
branches
Unsophisticated Boy" Mamma, papa is get
ting very rich, isn't hep
Mammal don't know; why, child? ?"
Boy-"Cause he gives me SO much money
Almost every morning after breakfast, when
Sally is sweeping out the parlor, he gives me
sixpence to go out and play. Sally receives a
short notice to quit.
The Radicals are greatly disturbed in mind
because of the exodus of the freedmen from
their party in the Southern States The freed
men are only doing what many thousand white
Republicans are doing in the North-leaving
the sinking ship of Radicalism
On a trial for an assault, at the assizes, a med
lcal witness, in giving his evidence, Informed
the court that, on examining the prosecutor