davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27

THAT IS TIE ALL-ABSORBING QUESTION!I
w EE0 ~ Lii SOL yv7'1E 1Tg
The never-failing DIR. RAPHAEL can solve it! He
is the best He succeeds when all others have filled
GOOD u z " S FOR 3EIa & Es 81
54ILTT
Every man, through the length and breadth Of the
land, who has bad lEck; and who can not get on IN
the world, should be in possession of DOCTOR
Written Opinion OF his Future
Prospects IN Iife.
It viii guide him to wealth. erninence and honor.
Thousands OF good men who were unfortunate and
unsuccessful III their businessmen who worked
hard and who struggled against adversely and mis-
fortune the greater part Of their lives and who found
the they tried to get forward in the world the
more things went against them; these men got DIR.
RAPHAEIS opinion upon their future PROSPECTS in
life. All those who wisely followed DIR. RArHAEL,s
advice are now
RICH, HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL
In all their undertakings while those who were
blinded by prejudice and Ignorance. neglecting hs
advice, are still laborng against adversely and DOW
erty. Be assured, wealth, eminence and good luck
and happy, you will consult him also.
G00D Mzzgwg T0R TO-
GADIE9Sg
All who are in trouble, all who are unfortunate an
whose fond hopes have been disappointed. crushed
and blasted all who have been betrayed and ruined
by false promises and deceit, all who have been de-
ceived and rIhed with, all go to him for advice and
get satisfaction. He makes your misfortune pass
away he makes the SANDER and envy of your enemies
fall harmless, and he sustains our character and
respectabiity in spite Of evil reports and rumors.
All who are in doubt of the affections OF those they
love- consult him relieve and satisfy their minds
and to ind out if their bright and warm hopes will he
realized
In Love Affairs he Never Fails.
He has the secret of winning the affections of the
opposite He guides the single to a wealthy and
happy marriage, and makes the married happy. His
aid and advice have been solicited in innUnerabl9
instances and the result has always been
SPEEDY AND HAPPY MA2RTAGE
II ladies who have suffered from misplaced conf
dence consult him before they get married, he VA
restore their bloom, freshness and vigOr OF youth
and enable them to enter married lie with cont
dence OF health and happness.-}olflai Of He1hth.
GOOD EETy7e TO- .A%s5.g
To make things more sure if you call personally he
will show you the likeness Of
Your Future Ezueba-7El CT griEe2
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27
AGENTS WANTED TO SELL The HIS
TORY OF
The War Between the States
Ito Causes, Character, Conduct, and Results

Ito Causes, Character, Conduct, ana Results,
By ALEXANDER H. STEPHENS.
book for all sections and all parties, This
Accordingly interesting book by 1.-THE GREAT
CRAFTSMAN" of the South, presents the most
complete and impartial analysis of the causes
Of the war which has appeared from a southern
pen it treats without partizanship, and in the
utmost moderation of the character of the
struggle; and in its description of the conduct
of the war, it gives. those interior lights and
shadows of the conflict only known to those
high officers who watched the aood-ti Of rev.
oution from its fountain spring, and which
were SO accessible to Mr.. Stephens from his
position as second officer of the Confederate
States. The result Of the war, present and flu
sure, have never been treated by any other
author, and Mr.. Stephens great abilities have
here found their fullest play.
The intense desire everywhere manifested to
obtain this work, it's Official Character and
ready sale, combined with an increased com
mission, make it the best subscription book
ever published, and offers to Agents the finest
opportunity to make money ever heard of in
the history Of books
Send for descriptive Circulars and Terms to
Agents. Address,
ZEEGLER, MeCURDY s. CO.,
20 Lombard Block, Chicago, III
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27
PILLOWS,

Cool to the head free from nauseating oaors,
ana embodying no animal matter like Sesthe Is,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27
Building Lots For Sale.

= UlINLIlIS Illus : u DoJAO'
TENHE subscriber offers for sale two and half
Il acres of land situated in the Fourth Ward
of the city of Watertown, lying west of the
residence of P. Y. Brown. A substantial board
fence has recently been erected around said
piece of land.
Also a lot A feet front, on First Street. block
B, First Ward, containing the blacksmith shop
formerly occupied by J. Jordan, and a splendid
Artesian Fountain-the best in the city. For
further particulars enquire Of
JOSEPH OBERLE.
Watertown, Feb. 10, 1868.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27
CUSHIONS
ALL SPONGE GOODS

Always free from moths, bugs, insects, never
need renovating. See, examine and satisfy
yourselves before purchasing Upholstered
Goods. Perhaps the dealers where you usually
purchase upholstery will recommend some other
IN. preference to the Sponge, because they cdu
make more money on other therefore. for your
selves examine, compare and see that the
ELASTIC SPONGE, for comfort and luxuryG
CLEANLINESS and durability, land free of al object
tions), is very far superior to feathers and best
curled hair and that, too, at less cost Also,
see our
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27

N. b Particular attention given to the pres
CREATION Of natural teeth. Artificial teeth inser
ed in the most approved methods. Teeth e.
Tactsd a0lthout pain by the uss of Nitrous Oxide
Gas, II safe, Efficient and harmless anathetic.
SNNLLH & SOLLIDAY, Dentists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27
EXAMINE
And ncquaint yourselves fully with
ELASTIC SPONGE,
MATTRESSES,

Soft PLANT, Elastic, Durable and Clean; do
not mat down, nor require picking over like
hair,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-05-27

7 TAKE PLEASURE in informing the pub
Il lie that | have formed a co-partnership
with Dr. A. SoLLIDAY, a s6illful and practical
Dentist. DR.. S. las been educated at the Phil
adelphia College of Dental Surgery, and has
had an extensive practice, thus enabling me to
recommend him to my patients.
With many thanks for past confidence and
patronage, I trust, with the able assistance I
have secured, to merit continuance of the
same. Very Respectfully, &C.,
WIN. II. SHULZE.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

war SO orfully mixed up. Well, I reck.
on / rid about half an hour this way
when old brindle thought it war time to
stop and take in supply of wind, and
cool off @ little. So when he got round
to tree that stood thar, we halted. So, sez
| old boy you lose one passenger, sartin.
So just clumb upon branch, kalkerla-
tin to roost thai till starved, afore I'd
be rid round that are way any longer. I
was maxim tracks for the top of the tree
when l heard something maxim an orful
buzzin over mi he'd. Ikinder looked up,
and ef there warn't--well, tbar's no use
of swearin now, but it war the biggest
hornets nest ever bilt. You'll 'gin in
now, reckon, Mike cause there's no help
for you. But an idea struck me then, that
would stand heap better chance ridin
the bnll than whar / wuz. Sez I, old
feller, if you'll hold on, I'll rIde to the
next station, anyhow, let that be whar it
will. So l jist dropped aboard him
again, and looked aloft to see
what l had gained by chang
in quarters; and gentlemen, I'm liar If
thar warn't nigh half bushel of the
stingin varmints ready to pitch into me
when the word 'go' was gin. Well, I
reckon they got it, for all hands started
for our company. Some of 'em hit the
dogs, about quart struck me and the
rest on old brindle This time the dogs
let off fust, dead bent for the old Dea-
cons, and as soon as old brindle and
could get under way, we followed. And
as war only deck passenger and had
nothin TO do with steerin the craft, I
swore if had We shouldn't have run
that channel, anyhow. But, as I said
aforc, the dogs took the lead-brindle
and / next, and the hornets drekly arter
the dogs yellin, brindle belleriD, and
the hornets buzzin and stingin. I didn't
say nothin for it warn't no use. Well
We got about two hundred yards from the
house, and the deacon heard Us and cum
out. seed him hold up his hands and
turn white. reckon he was a prayin
then; for he didn't expect to be called
for SO soon, and it warn't long neither,
afore the hull coDgregation-men, women
and children cum out, and then all hands
went TO yellin. None of 'em had the
fust notion that brindle and belonged to
this world. / jist turned my head and
passed the hull congregation. 1 seed the
run would be up soon, for brindle couldn't
turn an inch from fence that stood ahead.
Well, We reached the fence, and / went
ashore, over the critters head, landin on
the ether side, and lay thar stunned. Il
warn't long afore some on 'em as war not
scared, cum runnin to see what war,
for all hands kaIkerlated that the bull
and l belonged together But when
brindle walked off by himself, they seed
how it war, aud one of 'em said, Mike
Fink has got the wust of the scrimmage
once in bis life ?
Gentleman, from that day I dropped
the courtin bizzness, and never spoke
to gal since, and when my hunt is mp
on this yearth, thar won't be any more
Finks, and its all owin to Deacon Smiths
brindle bull
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
Mike Fink and the RuII.

Mike took notion to 60 in swimming,
and had just got his clothes of, when he
saw Deacon Smiths bull makingat him
the bull was vicious animal aud had
come near killing two or three persons
consequently Mike felt rather strange
he didn't want to call for help, tor he
was naked, and the nearest place from
whence assistance could arrive was the
maeting- house, which was at the time
filled with worshippe RS, among whom was
" the gal Mike was paying his devotion
to-" So he lodged the bull as he came
by him, and managed to catch HIM by
the tail. He was dragged round till
nearly dead, and when he thought he
could hold on no longer, he made up his
mind that he had better sholler.' And
now we will let him tell his own story:
So looking at the matter IN all its bear
ing, cum to the conclusion that had
better let somebody know Whar I was
So gin to yell louder than a locomotive
whistle, and it warn't long Till I seed the
Deacon's two dogs coming down like a
liz they were seein which could get there
fust. knowed who they were after
they'd jine the bull agin me, war sar
tin, for they war orfully wepomous and
had spite agin me. So, says !, OLD
bripdle, as ridin is as cheap as walkin or
this route if you have no objections, II
Just take a deck passage on that ERE
back O. yourn. So I wasn't very Ions
getting astride him then, if you'd biI
thar you'd have sworn thar warn't nothir
human in that ar naia, the sile few SO or
| fully as the critter and rolled round th'
| Ifeld-one dog on the one side and one Of
the other-trying to clinch my feet.
prayed and cussed, and cussed and pray
ed, until couldn't tell which did .
llast-and neither warn't Of no use the!
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

The following very brief and decidedly
pithy speech delivered by Oliver Crom-
well on dissOlving the long Parliament,
may be new some of our readers. It isa
fair specimen of the rude, vigorous and
hardy style of this singular character:
at is high time for me to put an end
to your sitting in this place. which ye dis
honored by your contempt of all virtue,
and defed by the practice of every vice.
Ye are factious crew, and enemies to
all good government Ye are pack of
mercenary wretches, and would, like
Esau, sell your country for q mess of pot
tage, and like Judas, betray your God
for few pieces of silver. Is there q
single virtue now remaining in you? Is
there one vice you do not possess You
have no more religion than my horse.
Gold is your God Which of you has
not bartered away your conscience for
bribes? Is there a man among you that
has the least care for the good of the
Commonwealth You sordid prostitutesl
Have you not defled this sacred place,
and turned the Lords temple into den
of thieves! ! By your immoral princi-
pies and wicked practices ye have grown
tolerably odious to whole nation. You,
who were deputed here to:get their griey-
ances redressed, are yourselves become
their greatest grievance. Your country,
therefore, calls upon me to clean this
augeaH stable by putting final period to
your iniquitous proceedings in this house,
and which, by Gods help, and the
strength he has given me, | now intend
to do. I command you, upon the peril
of your lives, to depart Immediately out
of this place. Go! Get you out! Make
haste Ye venal slaves, begone! Take
away that shining bauble there, (the
speakers mace) and lock up the DOORS"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

G5~ !; ;s not an element Of weakness
IA Republican candidate thai he u nj.
nus leg nr an arm shot uf by rebel
Democrats or that he has suffered torture
10 the rebel prison pen" 0i the South
Republicans have taken pride IN be-
slowing civil "fices npon men who h"nor-
ably and efficiently served their country
IN The army.-In innapotis Jourm0t.
We know soldier who is minus an
arm. and who was left ON the battlefield
for dead. who was nominated by rhe Pres
Ident for the position Of Assessor Of Inter.
nal Revenue for this district, but wa. ncv.
ertheless, rejected by the Senate, simply
and only because he was Democrat. for
his qualifications we're Hndonbted. Such
is specimen of Radical love for armless
soldiers. Such is the pride they take in
bestowIng civil Offices upon men who hon
orably aud efficiently served their country
in the army."-NeU AtL0ny (Ind. Led
Qer.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
4as-sasz=zss sslssaissszsasiass
POETRY.
WHY TRUTH GOES NAKED.
BY JOHN O. SAKE.

BY JOHN O. SAKE.
List Ia tale we'll worth the ear
OF ali who vie and sense admire
Invented-it Is very clear
Seine agos prior ~ Matthew Prior.
Falsehood and Truth. "upon . timo,'
One day In June's delicious weather,
twas IN distant aye and ellme).
Like sisters t00k walk together.
On, on their merry way they took,
Through fragrant wood and verdans meadow
To where . beech beside n brook
Invited rest beneath its shadow.
There, sitting In the plea ant shade.
Upon the margins grassy mating,
"a velvet cushion ready madel,
The young companions fell 10 chatting.
Now, while in yoluble discourse,
On this and that their Tongues were Tpnning
As habit bids each speekz-pcTforce,
The one Is frank, the other cunning,
Falsehaod, at lcpgth impatient grown,
With geapdals Of her own creRti0n,
Said, rsipee We tHo arc quite alone.
And nicely screened from observation,
Suppose in thu delightful rill,
While all around il so pFopi lonh,
We take bath ?''-Said Truth, II will
bath, I'm sure, win DO del!siouss'
At this her robe she cast aside,
And in the stream that ran before her
She plunged--liks oceans happy bride
As naked as her mother bore heri
FalsehoOd at leisure now undressed.
Put on the robes her limbs that hamper.
And having donued TFuth's snowy vest,
Ran OF as fast As she could sealnper.
Since { Gu, the subtle maid. In sooth.
Expert in lies and shreWd evasions,
Has borne the honest name of Truth.
And wears her clothes on oil occasions;
While Truth. disdaining to appear
In Falsehood's petiieoat and bodice,
still braves all eyes from year TO year.
As naked ~ . marble goddessI
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

A ScURvY TRIcK.-Some scallawag
perpetrated cruel joke on Buffers fnm
lily short time since in Washington
while his carriage was Standing in from,
"f gentleman's residence (Mrs. and
Miss Butler having gone in to make Q
call. } some person stealthiIy approached
and tackled u large pewter spooi to one ot
the panels Of the vehicle, Il Was unnb
served by the driver. and the eaFVisge
was driven for ssyeral houFs md intc
nearly every part of the city, displaying
this coat OF arms. II was so mortifyinp
to the ladies that they have not been seen
iu public since. 1t was e cruel and
heartless joke. Blackguhrd ..OId Ben, ;
but for Heavens sake let the female
members of his family alone.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

HOMESTEAD DECISION In the case
Of August Schaffer against William Wal
lace, tried at the St. Cloud Land Office
last autumn. the Secretary Of the Iutcri
or has given final decision in favor oi
Wallace. In this case the local nfice and
the Commissioners held that here va;
an abaHdgRemeRt qR the p4rt Of Wallace
b4t the counsel of the other. Gen. e. q
AgdFeWs, took an appeal to the Secretary
of tho Iptevjnr. claiming that the polic,
Of the Homestead lay JUSTIFIED settler il
being absent from bis claim a popsidars
BILE period TO enable him 10 earn The nee
essay means to cultivate his lands f
GOOD adyaptage. The Dnpsrlmept up
pears 20 have eogeHgFed 10 this view d
he iag. and haS ordered the rc.igsrqre
ment Of Wallace's entry cHeoo
Os1tntg Register.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
A SOLEMN WARNING,

81 dreamed = dream the utber niEbI
Wien every thing was still
! dreamed | saw old Berlkebab
4 eomins down the bill.
Ay pr,ptsr's bill Wss 10 his paw
Aud bi"vd was IN biz eye;
Says he. young man. your "weassr' draw.
Or else prepare to die
! sazed old Eaniy IN his fase,
Aud read the only chance
r avail myself of saving grace-v
Twas pay up IN adraaes.
dFrU my stamps ~ once and said
III do IL, sir. for fear then sta'Vsst.
Tbs debt Is just and should be paid
Without waiting till alter harvest"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
THE SPREADING RuMoR,

Sayy Gossip One "a Gossip Two.
While shopping in the town.
Old Mrs. Pry tn mo rumRFked--
snih bought bis goods of Brown"
says dossip Two 10 Gossip Three,
Who cast her eyelids down:
"I've heard Il said to-day. my friend,
Smith get bis goods FROM RrOHs."
Says Gossip Three TO Gossip Four.
With something Of fr"Wn;
"IVe heard 1t angc news. what DO y.,u "a ipki
Smith tack bis goods from BTuWn!"
Says aossip -Four TO Gossip Pivs.
VIM blaEcd il round the town:
''I'vo heard to-day such shocking usws!
Smith stole his goods from Brown"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
ALBANY BATH HOUsEl

WEHE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cinity that be has taken charge Of this Establish-
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attention to business, expects TO suit all those
who may favor him with their patronage. Having
heretofore carried on nothing but
Ftrst-Clsss Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects 70 give entire satisfaction to all.
@ChiIdlep and Ladies' Hair neatly cut and
shsHnooed. JOSEPH WEBER.
apr4ySnSSH
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

s9 Greeley has no faith in Grants
Republicanism, hence he is out in long
article in the Tribune, in which he tells
the Radicals they must place their reli-
ance in Congress. He concludes his ar
ticle by saying:
1.-THE earliest and greatest attention
must be given to the selection of our
member of Congress. Gen. Grant viii
make a good executive officer. He en-
dorses our platform. But he does not
promise to Be, and ace cannot e1pect ~
him, champion Of great political truths
and Repubtican policies"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

MAxIMs By THADDEus STEVENS. Send
your conscience to h-n, and vote for the
bill.u a
'.D-n your eonscience-shut it up.
1--WE are outside of the constitution"
'sI shall rejoice when we have colored rep.
resentatives and colored governors
'.I do not think it would hurt Senator'S
much to commit perjury.
Is he safe political leader2
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
BEN BUTLER.

Som. disloyAi fellow sets Of Ben. Bailer's visu
Rl ief'rmites poetieally
l.
Little Benny Butler.
Sat up in = chair.
Lookin2 on the table
If any spoons we're thsre.
III.
Careless on The table.
Two spoons we're tosrei
He tri i to watch EN- b1ta
SS his eyes were eTossed.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08
e. F. RUSSELL,
GRADUATE OF The CINCINNATI DENTAL COLE,

Would invite all persons desir.
ing frst-elass dental operations 10
81 give him a call. The Doctor makes
ZCY many new and improved styles OF
plates for artificial teeth. Among others he would
solicit particular attention to vulcanite base in
connection with gold wire gauze "a superior work
in many speets), and new Improvement (late-
ly patented By DR.. eool, which consists in lining
the entire eOneaVe surface Of the plate with fine
gold. This style Of plate admits of very fine
finish, and in its use there rs no disagreeable
blaeking and roughening by tobacco smoke and
other deleteous agents (as is the case with ordi-
nary Vulcanite Work). 1t can be made much thin
ner and adds very materially to its strength and
durability. The extra expense is trihing in COM
parisOn to the advantages it possesses. Persons
would do well to give him a call. Office upstairs
in Parrish'sk Co.'s brick, Albany, Oregon.
sprIP6SV3n34tf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

A kiss, says a French lady, COSTS less ane
gratifes meFe than anything else in exis
tence,
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

Edwin Forrest is reckoned the richest &C.
tor in the country, and his fortune is put Of
$500, 600.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08

RATES OF ADVERTISING: FER YEAR One
Column, 800 Half Column, $50; Quarter Col
umn, $35.
Transient Advertisements per Square often linea
or less first insertion, So each subsequent inser-
ton, 81. ~ &#a
A square Is one inch In space down the column.
counting cuts, display lines, blanks, &c., solid
matter. No advertisement to be considered
than square, and all fractions counted full
square. All advertisements inserted for a lesa
period than three months to be regarded as tran
sfenf
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-08-08


WHISKY FRApRs.-The tax on whis-
ky is two dollars gallon, and the cost Of
manufacturing it IS about thirty cents Q
gallon. The current price of whisky in
this market is now about one dollar and
forty five cents gallon, or fifty-fve cents
less than the tax and eighty-five cents less
than the tax and the cost of making nd
ded together. Whoever buys whisky Al
this rate can have with his purchase, il
he desires. an official certificate of The
revenue officers that the identical whisky
whiph he buys for one dollar and forty
five cents a gallon has paid to the Gov.
meHt the full tax of two dollars gallon,
1t is evident that this certificate is eli
ther forged or procured by bribery of the
revenuc officer by whom it is signed. and
wha perjures himself when he signs it,
~. y San.