Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1868-03-25
THE FIRST WEDDING.
BrIeGBIography Of''The Hap
Py Couple"
BY A DISTANT RELATIVE.


er foolish and wicked things-there
dBelt in a distant land a gentleman
called Adam, whose surname was First
Man, who became enamored Of beau
tiful young lady known as Eve B Guiled.
His attentions appear to have been ac-
cepted and reciprocated by the young
lady, and she became convinced that
he was ''the only man whom she could
ever love-" if We may judge by the fol-
lowing communication which she made
to John Milton, who followed the rsth-
singular vocation of advertising things
''lost and found" upon her Fathers
estate. Confirmed then l resolve
Adam shall share with me in bliss or
woe so dear love him, that with him
all deaths could endure, without him
live no life"
This being equivalent to the modest
declaration that the lady is willing that
her lover should begin to ''pay her
board" arrangements were immediate
" made to have the union consummst-
ed and in the absence of any othcialcl
gyman, the ceremony was performed
in the most simple and unostentatious
manner, in the beautiful garden of
Eden. The suspicious moment hav-
ing arrived, the groom took the white
and little hand of his bride, unadorn-
ed even by a plain gold ring" and,
affectionately imprinting upon it kiss,
reverently said: This is now bone of
my bone, and flesh of my flesh, there
fore shall man leave his father and
mother and cleaye unto his wife, and
they shall be one flesh" No cards
Thus was joined in the holy bonds of
wedlock the first couple of which we
have any knowledge. There was no
''rotund, specialized" fsther-in-law, 10
interested mother in-law, with her
Legendary smelling-bottle, and no dear
unmarried aunt, present.
Nor was the ubiquitous jenkins"
there to write up the affair" so the
readers of the Daily Post Dih.vian could
not take in, with their coffee and cakes
next morning, a detailed account ol
! what was done, and said and worn at the
wedding, much to the regret, doubtless,
of the Jolly Post Diluvians. But Jen-
kins, had he been there, would have
| found it difficult to get up a sensation
article, for there was an entire absence
of all obtrusige disylay and reckless
extravaganza upon the occasion, re-
freshing to contemplate. The outfit of
the groom was plain and Simple, per-
haps the most noticeable thing about
it being the absence ofthe ''dress coat,
prescribed for such occasions by "our
best society" The bridal costume was
marked by perfect simplicity and the
absence of all expensive and extraya-
CANT adornments. There must have
been something very becoming in this
costume, as certain ladies, in fashiona-
bic life, at the present day, initiate it
as closely as possible, when in full
dress"
Dispensing with the practice, now so
prevalent, of indulging in a wedding
tour, and not caring to publicly pro-
claim themselves as newly married by
the occupancy of the Bridal Cham
bersin the hotels and on steamboats,,
the happy couple settled quietly down
to the Joys and cares Of married life in
the Garden of Eden, and were noted
for their plain and unpretending man
ner Of living. They kept no carriage,
hired no opera box, gave no costly en-
tertainments, but contented themselves
with the simple, inexpensive, and sat
isfsctorY pleasures and enjOyments in
cident to the circumstances and sur
roundings. Adam was good husband.
he spent his evenings land good many
of his days. at home; he had no busi-
ness engagements down street" after
dark, nor did he belong to club. He
spent his evenings at home with his
wife, whom he never humiliated by
coming home late O. nights with a
"brick in his hat" and a very ambigu-
GUS dialect. He did not even ''coloF
meerschaum, but retained in his
cheeks the color which else had been
transmitted in deeper hue to the bowl
of pipe. His sleep was undisturbed
BY the effects of dissipation or the
Nightmares of the stock market; hence
was calm and refreshing. Undoubted-
ly he was an early riser and loved "the
dewy morn"-as we are sure he did
''the gentle Eve" Eve was, doubtless,
a very beautiful woman. Milton tes-
titles that grace was in all her steps,
heaven in her eye. in every gesture dig
nifty and love-" She deserved, if any
of her sex ever did, the credit of ca
ring little for the Establishments of
dress. Her tastes and habits were emi
nently domestic, and for her in truth
there was no place like home.
Her amusements were few; she cared
little for opera or ball. but she proba-
bly, attended the matinees of Natures
songsters in the open AIR, where usher,
programmes, and reserved seats were
unknown, and it is not unlikely that !
she frequently accompanied Adam to
see.t the mensgerie or collection of ami
mails in the garden. We know that
Adam went, for Scripture tells US that
upon one occasion he called the ami
mails names.
Eve, so far as we know, spent little !
time and money in shopping" and it |
is not probable that she had ever heard |
of "Stewart's," ;" that Mecca of Aneri- /
can women. She never sent Adam to 4
a restaurant for his meals on Mondays
because they were washing days." nor
made his life miserable by reason of
"house cleanings." She
was not a heartless woman Of the world
nor did she eyer indulge in gossip or
she had no affiIiation with Mrs.
Grundy and kindred spirits, and never
troubled herself about the ownership
of any extra pair of stockings" dang
ling from her neighbor's clothes-line.
Eve was frugal, eontented and happy,
moving serenely in first circles; snd
Adam loved her devotedly.
Mr.. Milton, who appears to have es-
teamed the family highly, intimated
as much, and we have no doubt that he
knew. We regret to add that misfor-
tune eventually came upon this happy
family. Eve unfortunately became in
Volved in a transaction in fruit-sp-
Piles, principslly-in which Adam was
involved, and their.propeFty, including
the Homestead" passed out of their
and they were obliged 10
seek residence elsewhere. From this
time we know little about them except :
that Adam, by careful attention to his +,
diet, managed to live to reach the age of
$50, and died in the prime ofmsnhOod, ;
lis days shortened, doubtless, msteri- !
lily by the loss Of his property
Whether Eve survived him or deceas-
ID first we cannot say, but presume
he did.
The Hon. James J. Babeock, Copper
head. of Conn.,, is reported to have
,losed brilliant speech in New Hamp-
hire with the following burst of elo-
luence: "lfyou should choose to marry
,lacks you may do 80, but as for my