Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-09-24
The Josh billings Papers.
.oursrInoxs M ANSWERS.


-eu rAs4Isosss 1SSS Answers =
a,Q-Diduyou ever see, an old
horse, hollcr-eyed and bony. limp
legged and pur blind kivvered with
ha god plated hafniss and wait
ed upon by. Q .aprsee postillion and a
hyetsd fofaHchhmnla'pnfl iimk assa9a
A.-Yes hay, and have seen
Old age put on ,pomposity, hobble In
brocade, command reverence, exult
with pride, and grin with pain. and i
hav sed etew myself, ''poor . OLD
boss" -,
-Q.-Dft you eve, hear. phools,
and even wise men say that life waz
short, that deth waz certain, that
happiness waz skase!A fo e' rk
Al hav herd these remarks
quite often, but l never herd bizzy
man find any fault with the length of
life, nor pure Ohelregret that dcth
was,a sure, lhing,nor vartuous one
komplain about the high price of
happiness. . q hHoIsa &c 90
OH thare emmy vacancy at pres
ent fora man in polite Strikes, who
didn't hav rich daddy[or who
hadn't bored successfully for lie
himself? <lrsir
Ali We hear of any such open
ing we will TELEGRAPH ya at once, but
just now the way things ere run, Il
man with seedy garments on would
even git kicked out nv a fiist klass
meeting house, ard be put under IL
thousand dollar bonds, tew keep the
peace Our advice. tew poor but
vffte~oos Individual would be few
take hiz virtew under biz arm, keep
shady, and let slie polite Strikes
alone ''' f'' '''n. 't'iN .l'eN
+. Q-Kan young man without en-
ny mustash git a situation in M
York ,sitty? 80 5'oa Ut. T.
"A -Yes, but it would probably
be,in station house. Young men
without any muntash are looked up
on with suspicion. and va will find,
if yu put them under oath, that they
lcithcr haint got anything but com.
nonsense, or they are too stingy to
buy a bottle ov "Bollvard's oil OF
seduktion.' warranted to fetch hair
or tare opli the hp. ! ~ a-o
Q,-Kan you tell me the best way
that has yet been invented to bring
up boyp@ Z DAD
A.-Give me 10 dollars and will
tell rlh But here is a recipee that
give away: Bring up yure boy in
the fear OF the rod and q gin mill.
OILS there envy kurc for natral
laziness, where it is part of man S
constitution aud by Laws?
A.-Only one kurc. that is, milk Il
COW on the run, and subsist on the
milk.
Q-How fast duz sound trsve,?
A.-This depends good deal on
the natur ov the noise yu arc are
talking about. The sound of a din
ner horn, for instance, travels half n
mile in a second, while an invitaslIun
to get up in the morning 1 hav known
to be 3 quarters oy an hour going
two pair of stairs, and then not hav
strength cnuff left tew be heard.
.Q.-kan you tell me who was the
author of the saying, "Give beg
gar Q hose, and he will ride TO the
deyl:"
=. Al don't feel equal 10 the task,
but 1 will say one thing in fsvor oy
the rroverb, l think It good risk
tcytske if you think the devil wonld
send back tho hoss.
Q-What is yure private opinrnn
OF human Happiness as fertilizer?
.trA.--I hay go. a 1redful mean pri-
waite opinyun Ov human happiness,
but all that can say for it IL that it
resembles new penny hove in
among a parcel of ragged young
ones: swl of them are iinmediateiy
crazy for the cent, but only one ov
them gifts it. f<~.
Q-What kind ov looks would
yuadvise n yung man like me tcw
read, who am very anxious tcw be
full OF wisdom! to3. 49,.
A.-Don't read but one good
book at time, and as soon as yu
git thru with that keep a. reading it
over agin- lie who reads every
thing liz like he who drinks every
thing, he gifts az full az sodcr foun-
tain, with just about ax mulch VIII z
in him. 1t IL better tew he a good
deal like sumbOddy than tew be
little like nobody. =
allow long kan goose stan
On one legg? - - ~
Airy 1t and see, that's the way
the goose found out.
.rsFs ~ It - 81