The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-12-10
NASBY.
MIR. Nasty Suggests Haven of Rest for
the Distressed Souls who are in Dan
ger Of Losing their Places.
WASHINGTON, Nov. IS, 1868.

/
WASHINGTON, Nov Is, 1868.
We he'd a meeting, in Washington last
mite to consider things. There are many
things to consider just now, and it wu2
deemed proper to consider em. 1t wuz
a lodge Nv sorrow There wuz faint
glimrins Nv hope onto the countenances
wv few Nv those present, but nothin Nv
certinty-nothin Nv ashoorance. Secre-
tary Randall remarkt that so far ez he
wuz concerned he he'd made up his mind
He shood not take offs under the incomin
administrator. He mite yeeld in 9TH
er matters (for he wuz Nv yeelin mach
er), but on this he wuz in6exible. Nc
Culloch and Browning were also determ
ined but Seward had other idees He
chirped in that the Oldest man, couldn t
tell what sixty days would bring forth.e
"Wat shall we do ?" askt Postmaster
from Ohio
81 sejest for President Johnson" scd
Randall, "that he apply for the Spanish
throne. He wood be acceptable to the
Spanish people, for he hez all his life
been putin the Bourbon down ~
Randall hez no longer any fear Nv the
President.
Gentlemen" remarkt I, al hev an
idea, wich if acted onto will put US out
Nv our sea NV troubles"
"Speek !" exclaimed they a IL with one
breath, "speek p
| My idea is Cuba. Cuba, the gem Nv
the Antlles-the britest jewel in the
crown Nv Spain. Let Secretary Seward,
who hez talent for reel estate, buy it
now before the new Government hez its
internal revenoo system establisht, and
while it is hard up for money. Let Cuba
be the politikle Botany Bay uv this coun-
try. Let it be bought by Seward and
then let the President go to work to
wunst film ofisis for its government,
while be still hez the power Nv appint-
ment. He must not wait to hev 'em hold
eieekshins, for we alluz succeed better in
gettin ofhcis by appointment than by
eleckshuns. Wat Heaven | see open
before US [ hev been rcadin Cuba up,
and find that Island pays the Home Gov
ernment 100000 per annum. IF the
Spanish Government kin git S25 600, 900
out Nv em, We kin double it with our ex-
perience. There's enuff for all Nv US
Give Randall place correspondent with
that he now holds make Ben Wood
superintendent NV the Havana Lotteries;
make Frank p. suthin else, wat it don't
matter, ez he'll take anything make
good places for Ross, Fullerton, Binkley,
Mrs. Cobb, Vallandigham, Brite, Mrs
Perry, John Quincy Adams, jr., Frank
Peerce, Gineral Forrest, Jim Steedman,
Rosso, Doolittle, Cowan, Dixon, Sekrctary
Welles, and all Nv that unnumb bered
throng Nv hungry soles, who hev lived
on pap so long that any other diet sours
on their stummicks. And then"
"But sposin Congress, when it meets
refooses to ratify the purchis by maxim
an appropriashen 2" askt doubter
"Refooze to make the appropriashen
Refooze Ha Put before Gineral Grant
the prospeck Nv never again seein the
Amerikin people the hope Nv never seein
agiu the faces Nv any Nv the men | hey
menshun'd, with the thousands Nv others
Nv siuilar tastes, habits, and necessities,
and wat wood twenty or thirty millions,
more or less, be to EN- Nothiu Congress
wood vote it instantaneously, and the
people would all say "Amen !" Lord, how
quick the bill wood 90 through, and how
quick Grant wood sign it.
"But sposn Congress shood refooze,
wat then? Jest as we'll The Blairs
wood hev their posishuns, and the Cuban
officials, eff they are versed in American
politlkle history, know eff they know any
thing, that when the Blairs get into a
place, nothin but death loosens EN-. We
shood hist the banner NV Independence
we shood paint onto that banner th &c
inscripshen "Ofises for all, in coun-
try where likker is not taxed p and in
weeks time an army Nv Dmokrats, big
enuff OF cagcher Spain herself wood be on
them shores And who could stand afore
EN-? Whisper Postoi6s" in their cars, and
they'd wade knee deep in blood Lord,
how the Spanish sobery wood 90 down
afore EN- How Frank Blair wood 90 for
Lersundi How all the trained cohorts
Nv Dimocrisy, wich hey bin abstainin
from offs so many years, wood risk their
all for taste W the sweets Nv posshen
"Oh the delicousnis of the prospeck
Think Nv an island with enuT niggers
onto it to do our labor, and euuf white
Cubans who cant read to vote for US
Why, it wood recall recollecshuns Nv
them happy days before the war when
the Dimocrisy wuz thus constitooted
| hunger and thirst for SIGH"
"Roll swiftly round ye wheels time.
Aud bring the happy day"
"Then Ginral Grant Good hev peece
Then he wood only hev the Abishnsts on
his hand Then the nggers NV the Uni
ted States mite bev suffrage, for it wood
make DO difference tous. We wood hey
ofhsis to live onto, and pure niggers to
look down upon, and wat more Good we
want? The only difference wood be, we
wood hey to accustom our stumicks TO
Santa Cruz rum in place NV whiskey, but
4 thot xUo mod Jo IT, oGoo4 Al