The Texas Republican. [volume] (Marshall, Tex.) 1849-1869, 1868-09-11
HUMOROUS,

49, 49, .Nf
Widow-An old solder on half.
pay-rcady to join at a moments
notice.
Wiic-A crown of glory to her
husband-or a crown OF thorns.
"iIl-ln her favor is as good as
the deed
Wine-The juice to pay.
Wit-Tbc traffic of conversation.
Woman-Thc frs, who added voc
to man.
Wrinkles-Times tclegrnms.
Thought-A bird which flies too
radidly for woman to put salt on It's
tail.
Time-W omans rival for no
tight. lacing can compare with the
waist of tima.e
A certain dramatic writer, being
caught in shower of rain, took
refuge under the por,ico of a hand
some dwelling in New York. As
soon as be had taken the position q
window was opened, and lovely ie-
male face appeared, which seemed to
beam with sympathy anxiety. She
soon retired, and sent him an UNI
brella by servan, He fell at once
desperately in love, aud thinking
from her anxious looks that the feel.
ing VIZ rcciprocated, he called on
her the next morning, sen, up his
card, and gave into her own hand
very costly umbrella he had pur.
chased in place of the old and shah.
by one he'had borrowed, and then
wound up all by making profess
sion Of love. The young lady, with.
out even noticing the exchange that
had been made, perceiving how her
act had been misintcrpreted, nativeiy
replied " ! feel j, to be my duty to
undeceive you, sir, At the tiine Of
the shower | was unxiously expect
ing gentleman who is, | confess,
very dear to me, who wished to see
me in private, and my only motive
for sending you the umbrella was to
get you off the steps"
On sunny summer morning,
Early az the dew was dry,
Up the hill ! went bcrying
Need ! tell you, tell you why
Farmer Hooten had a daughter,
And it happened that knew,
On such summer morning, Jenny
Up the hill went bsrying too
Lonely work is picking berries,
So joined her on the hill
" Jenny, dear said your baskets
Quite too large for one to fill
So we s,ayed--we two fill it,
Jenny talking-l was still
Leading where the way was steepest,
Picking berries up the hill
"This is up hill work, said Jenny,
81 So ia life, said shall we
Climb 1t each alone, or, Jenny,
VIII you come and CLIMB with me-
Tte.,rtr u,-" sus ot"su'"ss ocIIrvr
Jenny'- ehu1ks moment grew,
While will, ut delay she answered
" will come and climb with you
sSgEzf
What moment What u doubt
All my nose, inside and out,
Al my thrilling, tickling, caustic
PYRAMID rhinoserostic
Wants to sneczc and can not do it
Now !, ycarns me, thrills me, stings me
Now with rapturous torment wrings me;
Now says Snoese. you fool get |
through it
Shee-shee-oh It's most dcl-ishi-
iIIang II shall succze till Spring |
Snui's most delicious thing
RULES FOR HoT WEATHER. The
following rules should be carefully
observed during the present " heated
term )"
Drink all the ice water you want,
Drink n glass Of lager every FIVE
minutes.
Take a glass of whissey whenever
you feel uncomfortable in the bowels.
Drink soda water and lemonade as
often as possible.
Drink anything else whenever
there is an opportunity.
Eat everything that tastes good.
&c, excited over politics. or some
other subject, at least three Zines
day.
BE sure and walk on the sunny
side Of the street, and at as rapid a
pace as possible. |
Never ride, but walk 1t will
warm you up so nice
Fret as much as you can while at
home; worry all the time you are
away.
BY careful observance of the
above rules you will pass your time
delightfully."-, and stand good chance
Of accumulating a sunstrokc.
A new church wns being built in
the vicinity where little Milton H
lived. The work went on very
slowly and sometimes stopped for
days At last Milton = patience was
exhausted 81 do WISH" he said,
" they would Ga',h that church"
" All p said his grandmother, don,
be in too big hurry. The world
wasn't made in one day" ] know
it uomt" Milton replied; +" but
when the Lord commenced He never
stopped until lie finished it.
coNSuBiALirIHs
Lovely woman, sweet and human
How her witching ways dsarm us
Brirh. and witty--what pity
That her bills should 10 alarm u.s.
silks and laccs how her face is
Radiant es the sunlight dawning
Eyes are rlencipp, curls are dancing
And her curls are like the morning
Daily -horpiug--money dropping !
Fast frnm white and dainty fingers,
Wants eKphcii--taste exquisite
How tie happy shopper fingers