davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
"THE GRECIAN BEND.''

The latest agony in the fashionable world
is the "pannier which seems 20 have crea-
ted no little hustle " among the fashionable
young ladies. The pannier is a new thing 1t
is, we believe, rump" invention, gotten up
expressly and for no other purpose than to assist
ladies in getting their 6 back up" We had
curiosity enough to examine one of these in
ferna machines" 1t is made of linen, and
stuffed with moss, cotton or hair, and padded
so as to rest easy, like a saddle blanket on a
sore backed horse. 1t is about l6 inches long
one way and about or 10 inches the other,
and some are thicker than others, with two
tapes attached to tie them about the body, as
you would a saddle on horse. One OF these
panniers attached to young lady, together
with the new style of dress, is what gives
them the appearance of having the Greclan
bend" If there is comfort in these new-fangied
| concerns, we "can't see it." but we suppose
as they are fashionable, that young ladies vii
''grin and bear it, and subject themselves t.
all kinds of ludicrOus remarks on account o
the 6 Grecian bend' their bodies will be sub
| jected to.
These "panniers'' will make some younl
ladies look rather forward" in fact, lean tina
way. They will appear as if they had eater
an overdose Of green apples and butte rmilk
and were suffering from. fearful attack o
collie, with slight touch of toOthache and a.
inkling of dyspepsia The "Grecian bend,
we suppose, will be all the ''go," for awhile
at least, and we hope will not be carried to sue
! extremes as will make our handsome youn
{ ladies look as if they had been to a boardiD
school for six months, and fed on nothing br
/ dried apples and hot water. Ali young ladie
t what next?
+ They said you wore your dresses short
a. To show your pretty feet;
nj ,. .-.. You wore no vels or bonnets large,
4 AZ. To hide your faces sweet;
:. And now because Dame Fashion choose
y, . A Pahnier to you send r.
\ y They say you stoop like your grandmas,
h i..'' And call It "GFecaE bend" ~
" New York papei
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

A DILEMMA. A young parson of the UniS
versalist faith. many years since, when the Si-
mon pure Universllism was preached, started
Westws rd to attend a convention of his breth-
ern in the faith He took the precautlon to
carry vial of cayenne in his pocket, to sprln-
kle his food with as IA preventive to fever and
ague. The convention met; and at dinner
tall Hoosier observed the parsOn as he season.
ed his meat, and addressed him thus:
stranger, I'll thank you for leetle OF that
ere red salt, for I'm kind o curious to try 1t.
Certainly" returned the parson, but you
will find it very powerful; be careful how you
use it.
The Hoosier took the proffered vial, and
feeling himself proof against any quantity OF
raw whisky. thought that he could stand the
red salt" with impunity, and accordingly
sprinkled junk of beef rather bOuntifuliy
with it, and forthwith introduced it into hIs
capacious mouth. 1t soon began to take hold.
He shut his eyes, and his features began to
writhe, denoting very nhdrmOHiouS cOnd'non
physically. Finally he could stand itno loRger;
He opened his mouth and screamed 3" hre
"Iake drink OF cold water from the jug,
said the parson.
"Will, that put it out?' asked the martyr,
suiting the action to the word. Ina short time
the unfortunate man began to recover, and
turning to the parson, his eyes yet swimming
in water, exclaimed:
stranger, you call yourself universities.
| believe"
Il do, mildly answered the parson.
"Well, want to know if you think IL con-
sistent with your belief to go about with hell.
| fire in your breeches pOckets?"
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

SOMETHING OF A CLIMATE. Dan Marble
was once strolling along the wharves in Boston,
when lie meta tall, gaunt looking figure, dig
ger from California, and got into conversation
with him.
Healthy climate, suppose?"
8 Healthy it amt anything else. Why,
stranger, there you anchoose any climate you
like, hot or cold, and that too without travel.
lin more than fifteen minutes. just think O.
that the next cold mornin' when you get out o
bed. There's a mountain there, the Sary Ma.
vady, they call it, with valley on each side Of
it, one hot and one cold. Well, get on top of
that mountain with double -barrelled gun, and
without movn', you can kill either summer or
winter game, jest as you wish y
"What have you ever tried it p
"Tried it often; and should have done
pretty well, but for one thing.
"What was thatY
81 wanted dog that would stand both elm
ates The last one | had troze his tail Oft
while pintin' on the summer side. He didn't
get entirely out of the winter side, you see
true as you live.
| Marble sloped.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
The :. wickedest Man, Again.

Every body by this time knows the story of
JohnAlen, the ''Wickedest man in New York. |
that his dance house has been converted into |
place of prayer and that John now processes |
to be Christian. But many doubt issnceri |
ty as we'll as the other roughs that have join
ed him, and think it is time thrown away to
try to reform the people in these dens of pros
titutiOn and wickedness. The New York Tri
6une has the following:
but this we know-and it impels us to
feel deep interest in the movement 70 which
Mr. Oliver Dyer has given the initial impulse
Water-Street and the Five Points will never
be weaned from their evil ways by services in
Grace Church, nor in any Of our elegant
churches. These have their uses-we would
not disparage them-but they can never do
that work of conversion which Jesus enjolned
on his disciples If Satan is ever to be trans
formed into an angle of light, it will not be by
cantices sweetly intOned nor by lltanles SonO-
rously repeated on AubussOn carpets, behind
painted windows, to elegantly dressed audiences
of refined people, but by strong, rough, earn
est natures who say with Grant, propose to
move Immediately on your works, and who
! do move accordingly. The lost sheep must be
sought where they are, or they Will never be
found A religion which shrinks from dance
houses and dog-pits may be comforting to its
pOssessors and subserve other good ends, but
it will never evoke the tears Of Mary Magda-
len nor impel Simon MaguS to forego his gain
full incantatlOnS
There have been some cheering indications
oflate that the Methodist Church was about
to renew its vital, glorious youth-a youth
wherein its apostles did not hesitate to de-
uounce the most fashionable iniquites, even in
the very citadels of their power, and to seek
the lost where they were certain to be found.
+ These indications may prove deluslve; but, il
they do, we hope some other organization will
be impeled or evoked to do the work that
needs must be done-that of entering every
haunt of inquity that is not absolutely closed
to all Christian appeals, and entreating the in
mates to forsake their evil courses and turn tc
5 the Way of Life.
The subject is 50 grave ard opens so many
f vistas that we barely glance at it now, hoping
; to return to it from time to time. We firmly
believe that fire has been causuay lighted tina
S is destined to burn months, with widening
, area and memorable results.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

MARRIAGE OF ROBERT LINcoLN.-At eight
o'clock Thursday evening" Robert i. Lincoln,
eldest son Of the late President, was united in
marriage with Mary Harlan, only daughter of
Senator Harlan of Iowa, at the residence Of
the Senator in Washington, Bishop Simpson,
of the Methodist Episcopal Church, officiating.
The bride was tastcfully and handsomely dres-
sed in white silk, trimmed with white satin,
with pearl ornaments. Among the diStlngnlsh-
ed persons present were Secretary McCulioch,
Secretary Wces, Senator Ramsey, Of Mime
sofia; Representative Loughrilge, Of Iowa,
with their ladies'; Mrs. Abraham Lincoln,
Senator Harlan and Mrs. Harlan. No cards
of invitation were issued, and the party con-
sisted of few personal friends OF the two
families Mr.. and Mrs. Lincoln left for the
North on their wedding tour.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
A BACHELORS ODE TO BRIGHAM
YOUNG.

would were Mormon,
With fOur-and-twenty wives,
With twice a hundred children,
And twice ten human lives;
I'd raise me up kingdom,
All of my kith and kin,
And make little paradise
For all that dwclt within.
And is it Well, o! Brigham Young,
Or is it rightly done,
That you have over lorty wives,
And have never one?
And il il well your children count
About five score and three,
And not a single child can trace
His virtues down from me?
You're hut an ordinary man,
Your merits are but small
And what a fractional poor part
To each your children fall;
While pcrchSnc" on two OF three
My genius could brstow,
And might thus prove parent to
A NewtOn-Or Poe.
No sewing buttons On for you,
No rents are wanting stitches;
You have a spouse for everything
One for each pair of hrccches:
Aud then, when weary day Is Ger,
Each evening of your life
You have hAuse to visit, and
new and blooming wife.
My love is boundless as the sea,
As certain to endure,
Erouyb for fnur loving Wiyed
I'm feeling very sure;
Then what a shame, D! Brigham Young.
You've one for every day,
While l in single, sad estate
Mast mourn my life away.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

SAVING Souls IN CHINA.-It is reported
that the Chinese on the Russian border like the
English missionaries very much, and extend q
cordial weleeme to them. The main reason is
that the missionaries distribute Bibles, bound
in leather, and the Chinese make shoes with
the bindings and save their soles at English ex,
pense. l.--s
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

THE Will. OF A MmLIoNAIRE-Th will
of the late Edwin A. Stevens, of New Jersey
bequeaths nearly twenty millions of dollars,
The public school-houses in Hoboken, built at
his expense, are bequeathed to that city, and
$3.50, 200 for the erection and maintenance OF
another is donated The Stevens battery, for
the completion Of which one million is donated,
is to be presented to the State OF New Jersey:
The rest of the property falls to the widow and
children. His entire estate is estimated at
from forty to fifty millions of dollars.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

ENJOY THE PREsENT.-One of the most
provoking things which mortal man encounters
is that of taking vast deal of trouble to pro
vide against a danger which never arrives
Yet nothing is more common than to see peo-
pie laying up treasures they never live to enjoy
providing against exigencies that never hap,
pens and sacrificing present care, pleasure and
enjoyment, only to guard against the wants of
a period that they may never live to see.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

The Major says that the only man not spoil
ed by being "lionized, was the prophet Dan.
iel, and that Adam was the only man that never
tantalized his wife about the way mother
used to cook" .slsa4 ia5
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

Reputation is as often got by noise as merit.
The man who blows his own horn loudeSt and
most constantly is very apt to be considered the
biggest and best out Plated ware, nowadays,
appears to be preferred by the majority Of the
people Modest merit has very little chance to
play a lutte, where huge base drum is beaten.
The noisiest politicians commonly get the
spoils, the loudest preachers the salaries, and
the boldest woman the favoring worship. All
of which goes to prove that the world has yet
a field for improvement.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

The editor of journal in small Western
town bought five pounds of powdered sugar;
He found that it was mixed with plaster, and
announced in his paper the next day that If the
grocer who had so shamefully cheated him did
not make amends he would publish his name.
BEFORE nine o'clock in Che morning he had re-
ceived FIVE packages offvo pounds each. There
were lust five grOcers i'll town.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
Testimonials.

Hon GEO. W. WOODWARD,
Chei Justice OF the Supreme Court OF Pa writes 81.
~ lind HOOaands Ger man Buffers a good
tonic, useful In diseases "A ofthe digestive organs
aad OF great benefit IN - cases OF debility, and |
want Of nervous action IN the system,
Yours, truly, GEO. W. WOODWARD"
Hon. JAMES THOMPSON,
Judge of the Supreme Court Of Pennsylvania.
81 consider HoOaand German BliIefs a VALUABLE
MEDICINE in case OF attacks OF Indigestion Dyspep-
sia can certify this from my experience of It.
Yours, with respect, JAMES THOMPSON.
Hon. GEORGE SHARSWOOD.
philadelphia June Ist, 1863
nave iOund bv exp NAI erience that HOOAand's
dyspepe symptom. %d. sSGS Stsely sSaiS relieving
GEORGE SHARSWOoD.
FROM REV. E. d. FENDALL,
bs nssstant Editor, Christian Chronicle, Philada =.
n nave derived decided benefit from the use OF
ioohahds German BItters and feel It my privilege
70 recommend them as a most valuable tonic, 10 all
S. mo are suffering from general debility. or from
YOurz, Truly, Z. D. FENDALL-
hofecker. the Druggist says that he has sold large
Quantities of the Biters and has never sold medl-
sne That gave more universal satisfaction lie takes
peasure IN recommending it to his customers
AUrfoN .-HOoHand's Germ an Remedies are
Soanterfeited. See that - the signature Of C. M
an p,9 others are eounis. E'' tsr "
tuhelpal ONCE, and Mandatory al IN
an Ssman Medicine Store, No 63l ARCH street, PhIla
oslphla, Pa. CHAS. Nj. EVANS, Proprietor.
.AE Formerly c. NJ. JACKSON g. Co.
m PRICES. '.t 'i
nOoiand's German Bitlers per bottle, 81 OF
4 =" i" half dozen, O
"Sohand's German Tonic. put up in quart bottles
n ~ oO per bottle, or a half dozen for 81 so. Il
n w DO hOt forget to exa mine we'll the article yo
u wy 20 order to get the genuine ~ g. @e
m FOR SALE BY ALL
NJ ~. DRUGGISTS AND sSTOREKEEPERS. ssa
eeah EVERVWHERE..ssassf II 81 81
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

The Hon. Hugh McCulloch, Secretary of the
Treasury, in his last Annual report dec. /,
"Sincc Sept. 80, 1865, the [Nationall Debt
has been reduced 1896, l85, l2l.
and Blair, though he says their Financial plat
form is dishonest and ruinous Will their
friends DISPUTE his testimony?
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

AFFECTED young lady, seated in rocking
chair. reading the Bible exclaimed -" Mother,
here is a grammatical error in the Bible y
Mother, lowering her spectacles, and approach
ing the reader in very scrutnizng attitude,
says "Kin it kill it 1t is the very thing
that has been eating the leaves and book
| marks I'
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

FOR SALE BY ALL 5ass-
- DRUGGISTS AND STOREKEEPERS.
sea4 EVERYWHERE.tsss Is " 5
ssaaie by J. p. HOFFECKER, Smyrna, Dell sas
~ssaao' loes-ly .,at.E s.u e 5rsu g.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30

An old topper, after indulging quite freely In
his accustomed beverage amused himself by
teasing mettled horse. The animal not tam
cying his familiarity, suddenly elevated, his
heels and the disciple of Baochus found hlm-
self sprawling in an adjacent mud puddle -
Gathering himself up as soon as possible, he
shouted to his son who was standing by.
John did you see me kick that hoss p
"Why, no, dad; the hoss Kicked you"
Reckon not, John. One or t'other of us
got badly histed. "Eaint me, John, for ! am
herel" .sL
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
DEBILITY.

Resulting from any whatever; PFOstrstlon OF
the System induced by Severe labor, Hard
ships, Exposure, Fevers &C.
There is no medicine eXtant equal 10 these reme
dies in such tone and vIgOr is impaired to
tie whole system the appetite Is strengthened food
senoyed the stomach dIgests properly, the blood Is
purified, the pie xiOn becomes sound and healthy,
The YELLOW tinge is eradicaed from the eyes, bloom
hgven to the cheeks. and the weak and nervous IN
valid becomes a strong and healthy being.
Persons Advanced IN LIie anc feeling The hand o
tine weighing heavily upon them. with al It's attend
ant is will find in ihe Of this BlTTERS or 'he
TONIC ELIXIR that will iustl new life INTO their
veins, in measure the energy and ardOr OF
more youthful days, build up their shrunken iorms'
and give health and happiness 10 their remaining
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
HOOfland's German BEtters,

HOOFLAND'S GERMAN TONIC,
Prepared by DR. C. M. JACKSON,
PHILADELPHIA A, PA.
Thiny-fve years since they were first introduced
into this cOunIry from Germany, during which time
they have undoubtedly performed more cures, and
benefited suffering humanity in greater extent, than
any ether remedle known to the public.
These remedies will efecIualy cure Liver
Complaint Jaund e I'll INDyspepsia. Chronic or
Nervous Debility, Chr @ ono DIarrhna, Disease
Of the Kidneys and all Diseases arising from a
DisOrdered Liver, Stomach or lntestlnes.
Smyrna times., 1868-09-30
NOTICE.

10 this class persons the Biters, the onic, is
especially recommended
WEAK AND DELICATE CHILDREN
are made strong by the use OF either Of these reme
oes They will cure every case Of MARASMUS,
without iai
Thousands Of certificates have accumulated in the
hands OF the proprietor, bat space will allow Of the
publication Of but few. Those il will he observed,
emen Of note and of such standing that they must
be believed
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08
Work to be Done.

Only little over three weeks yet re.
main, before the decisive battle is to be
fought at the ballot box. There are doubt
less many Republicans, who have not yet
been aroused to the Importance of the
crisis, which weare approaching perhaps
there are entire neighborhoods that have
not organized, or made any decided move
ment preparatory to the coming election.
There may be Republicans who think the
election of Grant and Colfaxa foregone
conclusion, end therefore no great activity
is necessary to secure that result. Too
great confidence in the justice of our
cause, and in our numerical strength, have
more than nceaproved disastrous to Re
publican success in this State Although
we .erpect to achieve national victory,
yet every Republican voter, should enlist
in the work with as much earnestness, as
if the result of the election depended up
on his individual vote. Every patriotic
Union Republican should aim at some
thing higher, than bare majority we
must have a victory SO overwhelming,
that the rebel element Of the country,
shall be crushed so effectually, that trea-
son shall never again find aiders and abet-
tors in any northern State in the Union.
A complete and decisive victory now, will
not only insure the peace and safety OF
the of the country, but deter future at.
tempts to reinstate the rebels in pow
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08
What is a Carpet-Bagger

General Sickles, at the great monster
Republican mass meeting i'll New Y ork
on Thursday evening last, thus aptly and
eloquently defines the true meaning of the
term carpet Dagger:
We see, Throughout the South, determ-
ination to wage a war of determination
against what are called carpet baggers
Who are these carpet-baggers? They are
Northern people, who, in the exercise of
an undoubted constitutional right, have
settled in Southern States since the
war. They are discharged soldiers,
mechanics, mer chants, school-masters
railroad employees, and thousands and
ten of thousands of people who, TO better
their condition, have exercised the right
of emigration to those States. What do
we see? Me-, Howell Cobb, rebel Gen
eral, Declares a war of determination
against them, and not only agaist them
but against any, of the Southern people
who presume to espouse the doctrines
and principals of the Republican party
This war OF determination is echoed by
Frank Blair, The Democratic candidate
for Vice President. 1t is taken up by
Forrest and Toombs, and this cry goes
along from the Potomac TO the Rio
Grande.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08

REVOLUTION, OR NoT.-Let it be kept
in mind that the Democratic platform
puts the issue distinctly before the people
whether we shall have peace or revolu-
ton. Frank Blair declared in his letter
to Brodhead few day previous to the
holding of the Democratic National Con-
vention in New York as follows:
"The real and only question which we
should allow to control us is Shall we
submit to the Reconstruction acts of Con
gress 1t is idle to talk Of bonds, green
backs, gold, taxes, the public faith and
the public credit. We must have Pres
ident who will execute the will of the
people, q. G., Copperheads and rebels), by
trampling into the dust the usurpations
OF Congress known as the Reconstruction
acts"
Acting onthis announced issue ofFrank
Blair, Wade Hampton as one of the com
mittee on the platform says he caused to
be inserted in it the declaration, that the
acts of Congress under which the State
governments of the South have been or
gained shall be treated null and void.
MI Seymour therefore is pledged to car
ry out what is enunciated in the platform.
to do this, he must of necessity employ
the army and navy to destroy the new
State governments. The Judicial tribunals
for this purpose, the democracy do not
propose to invoke.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08

The finest Partisan yelcipede has made
its appearancein Central Park, and created
a sensation. 1t was long, clipper built
affair, running on two wheels, and went
at the rate of fifteen miles an hour over
the smooth hard Park roads. In Paris,
the mail-cvrriers are to ride on this swift
conveyance, economizing time in the
suburban delivery Of letters. 1t is pro-
posed to introduce the same noble steed
here in place of the horse, for equestrian
purposes. 1t has the advantage of mex
pensiveness, requiring heather fodder,
stable nor grooming, and is gymnasium
in itself. We shall soon hear of trips
made from New York to Chicago upon
this new animal. ~ -
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08

Reconstruction insist
chat the Southern States, having been
{, nifty of involving the nation in 8 long
., I'd calamitous war, by an attempt to
do, troy the Union, shall not be allowed
to o. mn back into the Union, with the
same rebel element in power. Republic
cans insist the States of the south shall as
a COZ ,dition Of their being recognized in
the iiamily of States, possess loyal govern
men IS. with constitutions framed in ac-
cord ance with the new order Of things
brought about by the war This much
they deem vitality essential, for the pro
lection and safety of the loyal people OF
the south, and for the stability of the
new state governments.
The Democratic doctrine enunciated
is, the States of the South, are enti-
tied without further preliminary, to be
treated as states in the Union, just as they
were before the war The utter absurdity
! and wickedness of the Democratic theory
may be seen by reference to few facts
The states which left the Union in 1861
fhad provisions in their constitutions. ut
terly subsersive of the principles of Rep
Iican government. Take for example the
State of Florida; read the following
amendment to the constitution of that
State:
sResolved, that Sec. 4 ofArt. 2 of the
Constitution of Florida be SO amended as
to read as follows;
"No citizen of any State now at war
with the Confederate States of America
shall ever become a citizen of the State of
Florida; nor shall any citizen of any such
foreign State ever be allowed TO own real
estate or carry on trade or do any manu-
lfacturing within the State and it shall
be the duty of the Legislature to enact
flaws for carrying into effect this amended
Particle"
| According to this provision of Florida,
no northern man, not even Democrat,
would be allowed, to do business, reside or
own property in Florida. Yet the Demo
'crats are continually making noise,
labout the injustice of Republican recon
struction, and insisting that the southern
states have right to come back into the
Union, just as they were, when they
| left.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-10-08

CoNEEcTICUT ELECTIoNs-Th town
elections in Connecticut were held on
Monday last. The result so far as heard
from indicate Republican gains over last
year. The vote in Connecticut, it will
be recollected was extremely close at the
last election.