The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-02-25
HUMOROUS.

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Good Point. -
THE Indians out West are collect
ing the poll tax-they take it out IN
hair.
In Ohio man was arrested for
breaking into faro bank. Virtuous
Ohiol
Il WHEN was Noah in America?
When he was on the Ark-and-saw.
A YOUNG lady recently called at a
book store in st. Josephs forsa copy
Of Harper's Bazoo.
WHY was Eve the first ritualist
convert? Because she began by be-
ing Eve-angelical and ended by adopt
ing Vestments.
AN honest Dutchman on being
asked how often he shaved, replied,
4" Dree dimes a week every tay put
Soontey; den | shafe every tay
Al CHARITY scholar under examina-
ton in the Psalms, being asked,
). What is the pestilence that walketh
in darkness?" replied, Please, sir,
bed bugs"
"A COOL specimen of humanity step
ped into a printing Office out West to
beg paper, " Because, said he, we
like to read newspapers very much.
but our neighbors are too stlngy to
take one.
MIR. JONES, you said you were
connected with the fine arts; do you
mean that you are a SCULPTOR No,
sir; | don't sculp myself, lbut fur
nish the stone to the man that does. "
A PERT little girl boosted to one of
her little friends that her father kept
a carriage. All, but" was the tri-
umphant reply, :" nay father drives an
omnibus"
A MAN, who had filed a petition for
divorce. was informed by his counsel
that his wife had filed cross-peti-
ton as LAWYERS call it. A cross
petition r. exclaimed the husband,
" that's just like her. She never did
a good-natured thing in her life"
Mrs. JONES, a farmers wife in
Connecticut, says: . / b'leve I've got
the tenderest hearted boys in the
world. I can't tell one of EN- to
fetch a pail Of water, but what he'll
burst out cryin'.
AN old bachelor, who has become
melancholy and poetical, wrote some
verses for the village paper, in which
he expressed the hope that the time
would soon come when he should
-"rest calmly within a shroud,
With q weeping willow by nay side"
but to his inexplieable horror it came
out in print: 85ftsF4
Z" when 1 shall rest calmly within Shal0I,
With a weeping a0ldo10 by my side"
A GENTLEMAN who had visited his
friend Tor the first time in very soil
tary and dreary situation, observed to
him, My dear Tom, you may have
your reasons for living here, but,
added he, looking with great surprise
at the rookery, what. can induce
these poor birds to stay here, too?'A
A CARPENTER who was always prog
nosticating evil to himself, was one
day upon the roof Of fve-story build
ing. upon which rain had fallen. The
roof being slippery, he lost his foot
ing, and as he was descending to-
wards the caves, he exclaimed, Just
as I told youP' Catching, however,
in an iron spout, he kicked off hts
shoes and regained q place of safety,
when he thus delivered himself : |
knowd it; there's a pair OF shoes
gonel"
AN Arkansas paper says that citi-
zen of that State, eighty three years
IS age. lately married blooming
widow of thirty five; and that another
Arkansan, ninety-eight years old, less
fortunate than his younger fellow
citizen, on the same day fell down
stairs and broke his neck.
THE editor of magazine having,
through some inadvertance, inserted
the same article in two successive
numbers of the periodical, was re-
preached for carelessness. Y on are
quite in error; the reason for the
second insertion was this: my subscri-
bers approved the article so highly,
that it was encored.
A GENTLEMAN, one evening, was
seated near a lovely woman, when the
company around were proposing
conundrums to each other. Turning
to his companion, he said: $500
Why is a lady unlike mirror? =
She gave it up. zE-#s 4f5.
Because" said the rude fellow,
mirror reflects without speaking !;
lady speaks without rejecting "
8 Very good, she said, Now an
swer me. Why is man unlike a
mirror"
+" cannot tell you
Because the mirror IS polished
and the man is not.