Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-06-30

Advice is the only sort of vice that some peo-
pie don't follow. aat 80 500
Hyou would look spruce in your age, don't
"pine" in your youth. @
man who lives on the interest of his money,
nav be said to rest on his overs. 10
s.rbe peiohs Of the world: ''The balance of
mower" and not the scales of justice. - i5i
Love. the toothaehe cough and tight boots,
ara things which cannot long be kept secret.
Advice to people who do not desire a vacant .
SPOT in the region of the heart.-Avoid Vo nu.
What race of beings do eggs resemble that
are laid hatueen the months OF April ana = une-
Kay lays. .....,... e..:.at ..fe ~ SO &
Wb.n one uoes to the dentists for new
ss<.n picking the teeth becomes an expensive
operation. sfyi 1.iaa-as ia r III
Good r;ous .usie is always Instrumental IN
.8orIins agreeable entertainment at Social
gathering. t5rr SET lE -isas ,
What is tho difference between your house
and one of ths ancient poets? One Is nonie'
the Other, Homer. HITAa8 EG2IA &EEg
When ia tbs isanimsf' in man most ruby,
and at tho sauna time, agreeably developed q.
Whea he becomes lion. ... .,..- ~ ,ss1 n. -
The Young man who recently went on bri,
dial tour With an angel in muslin, has returheu
with . termagant IN hoops.
..Do Won water your uilk?' asked our land
adv of her new milkman. No, madam, we
water our COWS, was the answer. .,s1g s.
The Young woman who was lost IN thought
sfter wandering in her own mlnd'f Iound her-
saf at last n her lover S arms. a.e 4 -a..fl:
Vhv are sunbeams in breezy weather like
nersons borrowing money? Because they are
rsys in the wind, traising the wind
why does father call mother honey" asked
how of his older brother. t'Can't tell 'cep, t 1t
hacausa she has large comb in her head.
I'm afraid you'll come to want, said an
old lady to young gentleman: II have come
to want already was the reply; want your
daughter. .-eI Ii-rf ...t
Prentice thinks, if young lady has thous-
and arees of valuable land, the young man are
ant to conclude that they are sufficient grounds
for attachment. r.....s -sssa- s.
Have YOU Blasted Hopes? - asked lady
of green librarian, whose face was CONSIDER
ahly swollen. "No, ma am, but have blast
ed toothache, was the reply.
Woman, with all thy faults love thee STAY
was the reply of husband to his SeeidIng Wlle
Eff YOU didn't love the sttE SO we'll. Id love
you still better, replied the WIFE, @
Josh Billings says that Trying tew live on
the rsputsshon w ded father or grand father
il lust about as enterprisin' business as tryIn'
teE hatch out rotten eggs under TIN weather
coax"
A little boy, on coming home from church,
where he had seen person work the peiio"s OF
the organ, said to his mother Oh mamma
wish you had been at church to-day. Oucn
fan! 4 man pumped music out OF an old cup
board. - a. -+4: .t. Ere
An exchange says "The Pope il making a
crusade upon the imprcprleties CT dress, and
We learn lays the blame on the shoulders OF the
ladies'. The Pope il at fault We have ex-
amined tbs shoulders of the ladies, and haven t
found blame thing there ..af
A veritabls story is told of bright little girl
who, attending Sunday school for the first tine
VAS asked who went into the lions denY'-.'
The child appearing puzzled, the teacher com
menced spelling, to awaken the child 8 memory,
Dan" Il know now, exclaimed she 4
vas Dan Rice. ssTs
A leader Of music IN a church where eongre-
yauonal singing was praoticed, selected tune
with the wrong metre, to the words:
With hyssop purge my soul, 0 Lord p"
He tried it twice, when some old lady cried
out Il say, mister, you had better try some
other yds6r nut