The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1868-01-22
Modern Dictionary.
Eatcr--A clear liquid once used as a

Tongue "A little horse that is con.
stantly running away.
My Dear-An expression used bv
man and wife at the commencement of
quarrel.
Pohceman--A man employed by
the corporation to sleep in the open
air.
Bargain-.A ludicrous transaction, in
which each party thinks he cheated the
other
Doctor--A man WHO kills you to day
to save you from dying tomorrow.
Edit0r-N moor wretch who emptres
Ms brains 10 I'LL his stomach.
Wealth, The most respectable quail.
ty of men
Bonr The female head dress for'
che fror of the opera.
ESQa,, Everybody, yet hobo,ly,
equal to lionel.
Jury Twelve prisoners in box to-
try one or more at the bar.
States Evidrncc-A wretch who is
pam,ned for being bascr thar his con,-'
radcs.
Mnlc&,v--A beautiful flower that
llonri>h.s IN secret PLACES.
I.awyer-- \ learned grn,l"man' who
roscues vonr estate from yonr enemy and
Keeps i, himself
The Gravc--An ngly holn in the
ground whicI, overs and poets wish ,hnv
were in, but tax. uncommon pains to
keep on' Of
Mnnev-'rhr god Of the nineteenth
century
There IS Il fence in the va.ant lot
on the cast side of Roanoke Avenue,
whicA. While it stood, VAS very ex.r
cc,'ch' ,.dcx OF The state Of ihc mcr-
cnY. Before the co!' wcthor set in,
ten panncls OF seven feet boards, each
PANEL being complete. VS. tho
Weather grew ,,l>. and when tic
mercury stood at - ,ie,r, one board
would disappear each night; when
the mercury ran down to 10 deg, two
boards disuppcarc; and at 35 der
three or four boards spirited away ; ut
32 deg, whole oanncl was non est
and during the recent cold snap, when
the mercury went down considerably
below the freezing point, the ren,niu-
ing portion OF the fence paid lriAu,c
to the bchcsts Of winter, save and
except three posts, which yesterday
evening, stood Scntinels over the va
cant ground, and which, ere to.mor-
row morning, may and warm place
in some ncighboring stove. And tue
fate of this fence is but the common
fate of all similar structures, which
arc so situated that tic wards of the
mtion can reach them. Fences arc
excellent thermometers in this section,
and mercury is "played out."-Mor.
toM Day B9oh.
How FAT "llEAvED TIE LEAD.'-
Any Any one who has travelled on the
cssca the process of hcaving the
lead, and viii sec where the "laugh
comes i'm in the following without
much difficulty:
The ------- was coming down tic Up.
per Mississippi loaded with mig lead.
AS she was going over shoal place
the pilot gave signal to heavc the lead.
The only man forward at the time
was green Irishman.
"Why don't you. heayc the lead z,
"ls it to- hoavo the lead, your hon,
or ? Where to o.
"Ovorboard, you blockhcad w
Tho Irishman snatchcd up ono Of
the pigs of lead and threw It oycr-
hoard; tho mate, in cndcayorinS to
prevent him, lost his balance. and fall
into thu river.
The captain,- running to the cdee Of
the roof. asked "H hy don't YOU
hcavo the lead, and sing out how
much water there is %
soEhe lead ia hcoyod ,,o, ,
and the mates eono down to sao , ho,,
much water there is" resnondod pot
~
QuARRELLlNG.-Tr anything in the
world will make q man ioel badly, ex.
c"p' pinching his fingers in the crack of
n 'ur it is rnqucs,onab}y a. ouorrel