The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-04-25

There is one good wife in tho world let every
married man think he hath her.
A sweet thing on ice--teacking a sixteen year
old bundle Of calico how to skate.
Cosmetics are to the face what affectation 10 to
the Manners they impose on few end disgust
many.
The loveliest faces are to be seen by moonshine.
when one sees half with the eye and half with
the fancy. etgffifv rs
Our own hands are heavens fayorite instru-
ments for supplying us with the necessariss and
luxuries Of life.
Here is very good domestic toast: May
your coffee and SANDERS against you be ever alike
without grounds" ,,,,-
Mrs. Partington has come to the conclusion
that there is no use iii trying to catch soft water
when it rains hard.
Why il a young lady from boarding school
like building committee? Because she IL ready
to receive proposals.
81 think our church will last a good many
years yet" said waggish deacon to his minister
81 see the sleepers are very sound J"
"Dauehter,r said fond mother, whom oil spec
ulatons had made aristocratic. .has Mr. Brown
proposed TO you Z" YEA ma" replied the daugh.
ter, me proposes that go out this evening and
get some oysters &
No mind so bright but strong drink will be.
foul it no fortune mple but brandy will beg
gar IL no business So thriving that whiskey can
not ruin The happiest it will fill with misery
the frmest health dissipation will shatter.
''Aly son." said the elder Spriggles to his ju.
Nor, thinking 10 enlghten the boy on the propa-
cation OF the hen species-.M y son, DO you know
that chickens come ont OF egvsf' do they Z,
said Spriggles junior, as he licked his plate; II
thought eggs came out OF chickens"
The Georgia papers published an article headed
GLOW the President Takes It." Some have seen
johnson take plain, but we understand he gen.
orally takes it with sugar and spoon.
An old sinner in offering up prayer for some
of the good things Of this life, wound up with,
'Grant me all this, on Lord, for it is seldom
ever trouble thee"
During the war; lady passing from cot 10 cot
through the wards of q hospital was shocked to
hear one fellow laugh at her. She stopped to 70.
prove the wretched patient. why, madam, "
says he, "you have given me a tract on the sin OF
dancing, when have got both legs shot off"
A gentleman who entered BARRIERS shop to
get shaved, was recommended by the operator to
raise mustache. ut is impossible" replied the
ist-"Oh, no am certain sir, you could raise
moastache--a light summer moustachew
An Atlanta paper tells of chap who came
down from one Of the upper counties and encoun-
tered man with a hand organ covered with
green cloth. The man began to turn and the
countryman put down quarter, which the 9th.
err Immediately took up. Down went another,
which shared the same fate, and then another.
The stranger, finding his pile getting low, turn
ed to bystander and asked: sinister !what vort Of
games this, anyhow "
lady of Troy announces in the papers . 70.
qnest that the "curled darlings' who attend h, Z
receptions will not lean their heads against the
wall, as the "oil 10 taken of by the paper, and
tho entire repaperiny Of room il frequently
rendered necessary" lI ~ f'E
AT Sterling they haye temperance society On
powell plan. No one can join unless he has
been An inveterato topper. The President and
chief officers were selected On account of their
proves in cSnyival circles For every offence
against total abstinence, clearly proven, the cul-
prit is to be dipped into the river a. many times
~ there arc members in the organization. V NJ,