The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-06-07


gets old be win not depart from it,"-unless the
train runs of the track.
This has no reference to George Francis Train.
Children, nowadays, are divided into two elias
SEES, mostly male and female. The cause Of this is
lost-heAce IL Is called The Lost Cause.n As
for myself, prefer female children to male ones.
like little children. / like little girls / like
large girls just as well. In fact the larger they
are, the more my generous heart expands towards
them. @
when was boy, q was always boy until
grew TO be a mani went to q boys and girls
school and sometimes, when | was roguish,
was made to go and sit with the girls. felt bad
about it then; have got better of II now. | can
sit down with 'em or sit up T" with 'em, just
natural like, and it does not seem so much like
punishment as it used to.
=" There is no sorrow
That heaven cannot cure"
Children are necessary evils. If 1t wasn't for
them there would be no grown folks. This is
singular fact, bat true. This has been the case
for years.
have had any childhood. They never knew what it
was to be spanked or play base ball or steal molas.
SEES or sugar ont of hogshead with long stick, or
hook watermelons, or play marbles, or swap jack
riyes They didn't have TO learn their A, B. Cs, or
the multiplication table, nor have to go and pick up
chips. No. They was made grown up folks, and
found themselves married the first thing, without
even Charter Oak cooking stove or patent
y
Poor Adam and Eve they didn't even have any
body round to make up faces" at
Children have existed at wholesale and retail,
in all ages and most all countries. Although
many OF them are orphans, yet few were ever
really born orphans, and most all children were
born young, afterwards attaining manhood and
womanhood by the fight OF time. Such is the
hominy Of the spheres.
There Is an old saying that "boys will be boys"
or that girls will be girls" This may seem
strange, but it is nevertheless true. 1t is quite
natural il should be so. 1t has been so from time
immemoria. Perhaps it is better thusly.
Children are often great blessings to their
parents. Iwss. saved vast quantities of bread
from moulding, and meat from spelling. | was
considered prodigy in that line. That is one Of
the reasons why am so fat now.
"Chidren teethiDg,n are handy to have in the
house." There is no danger from burglars break
ing into house where children are teething.
There is more danger of everybody in the house
breaking out of it. Next to a cat fight in the
night, or filing a the wrong way, a child
- tee thing u is the most musical of instruments.
There is but one good feature in it-they will
drown out any squeaking hand organ that ever
turned crank.
Mrs. Jonesario. who lives next door, has lot of
children beginning, in size with the lowest step
Of the stairs that lead to my room, and going w
with every step for or steps. These little
gels get to pulling each others hair and stealing
begin 10 yell, when up comes Mrs. J9ne-
sario, ard takes them ALL one after the
other, across her knee, and spsnks them
with a single. All then's your time to sleep,
or study algebra, or read poetry or enjoy the
tooth ache. Imagine young uns, all with differ
ent voices and the stoutest Of lungs, putting in
their best to see which can yell the loDdest and
keep it up the longest. o, it's inspiriting Us
pourshing II has caused me, sometimes, to
think how much happier they and would be, and
how much spanking, and washing and ironing, and
worrying they would save, if they we're treated
ike little kittens are sometimes when there's too
many of em.
when baby is born, sentimental women say,
" there's an angel in the house," but it seemed
10 me more like the devil was in the house but
this may be because am jealous, and haven't a
child 10 LAY my jaws tor
Then children are always in the way. For in
stance, when ! was counting Araminta, and was
telling her Of " my palace by the Bayou Manchac,
and how that loved her, and how, il she did not
favor my suit lit was new suit my eyes would
she'd = when in burst "Bub z" and hollered
never mind the wood she'd" And then, again,
when went to kiss her in the garden, Maud, he
rushed up at the critical moment and says,
- en- yer!"
But on the other hand, they're handy, some.
times. They enable Bella, or Winnie, or Jennie
losget ont for walk to the Postofice, or on the
promenade, when they couldn't otherwise GO.
AD6 sometimes and oft You can creep into the
mothers heart by making love TO her children.
But then this is not much Of an advantage TO me-
as don't " care for mothers now" don't have
any haukeriDg for mothers-in-law, either. My
aOVlCe 10 young men 49, don't marry INTO a family
where there IL a mOther-inlaw, If you can help it,
hut II you can't, get as good a one as the recon.
sTuctiOn laws will allow. III .-
A good deal of what | have been saying about
children IN the 4gOing is said in q Pickwckian
sense, but heap Of ii is orthodox belief. Child.
rem amt raised now as they used TO was. The
boys amt good for anything for husbands and the
girls amt fl for the duties Of a household. Bows
and girls who know how to work and are willing
10, are about as scarce as hens teeth. or s. gold
m nd -ualI -
a personal matter.
don't believe in copOreal spanking much bat
still, as Solomon said. "spOi the rod and spare
the child" and his head was level. II children
will insist on INDUCING in the terpschOrean diver
tisement, they must expect to cOutrbute TO the
support Of the LIST violiuist; or. in other words,
" them as dances must pay the iddler.n
And thus endeth the first lesson.
r. S-MTs. JoDesariO and some other strong
minded women have been reading the foregoing
before il was printed, end my hair has been grow
ing thinner since. ! am told to "take up my bed
and walk, /" within "a hours or they will make il
so hot for me IN that neighborhood that shall re-
qure windmill 10 keep anyways cool. They're
evidently unpleasant towards me for they cali me
q hesrtless old BACH" and "a beast as can't
appreciate children" and "a good for nothing
human critter, as don't deserve no wife and child
roD, no how
P.P. S.-The reason they think am an cd
bachelor IS because Arsminta has "gone across
the lake"
PIP. p ST. defy anybody to find anything
about Ben Butler aud spoons in the above article
if they can't find anything else in it