The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1868-08-12
FACETIE.

Making ox-head cheese and oX-talI
soup may properly be considered max
ing both ends meet.
II has been ascertained that some Ia
dies use paint as all fiddlers do rosin-
to aid them in drawing beau.
Planchette isn't always reliable. A
gentleman who was informed by the
seller that Planchette would answer
anything, bought one the ether day to
answer the door-bell, and found 1t
wouldn't work.
"Why did you leave your last place r
inquired young housekecper about to
engage new servant. "Why, you see,
ma'am," replied the applicant, IL was
too good looking, and when | opened
the door folks took me for the missus." "
Among the gifts to newly married
pair Mt town in New Jersey, the other
evening, was broom sent to the lady,
accompanied with the following senti-
ment:
"Ths trifling gift accept from me,
Its use | would cOmnend;
In sunshine use the hrushy part
In storms the other end.
Providence, X. l., has a cOlorcd boy,
aged Il years, who for few cents will
take mouthful of glass, chew il up
fine, and swallow it. He says he has
followed the business since he was nine
years old, aud can keep fat on it. He
ought to have pane" in his stomach
by this time.
On the gate of celebrated chateau
near Paris, at present the summer resi-.
dence of very noble parsonage, the
following epigram was lately posted:
"The passers-by are notified,
No rascal here must dare TO venture,
Either through gate or window wide!
But then, how shall the owner enter =
In 1898 a delegation from the western
part of Massachusetts, was sent to con-
fer with one of the Boston clergymen
as to how he got along with the doc
trine of the perseverance, of the
saints which troubled them exceed
ingly. His suggestive reply was: "My
dear friends, it is the perseverance OF
sinners which causes me all my troub-
les"
An Ohio school girl went through hcI
calisthenic exercises ut home for the
amusement of the children. A youth
full visitor, with interest and pity on
his countenancc, asked her brother "if
that gal had fits 7" "No," replied the
lad contemptuously, "that's gymnas
tics" "Oh, tits hey 7" said verdant
show long has she had 'eml'
The gentleman who was SD persistent
in his efforts to get q receipt from a
lager beer saloon for making bologna
sausage, has concluded neither to eat
nor manufacture the article. The re-
ceipt furnished is as follows: Take an
eel skin and stuff it with ground cat or
deg, season it with Scotch snuff and
persimmon oil, lay in hog pen to dry,
and then hang it in grocery store for
three months for the flies to give it the
trade mark.
At the examination of one of the pub
lie schools in Great Darlington, Massa-
chusetts, a few days since, the follow
ing dialogue took place between the
teacher and geography class of small
scholars: Teacher-"Are the resources
of Mexico fully developed 7" Glass
"No.". "Why mott" Because the
country is badly governed" allow is
that-isn't the government democrat
icp After hesitating a moment small
boy replied, swell, mo- guess it's ia,
Goblin or Radical %
The subject of bills being one Of uni
versal interest, impels lady cores
pendent to say that friend of hers,
who bore the somewhat unusual name of
Grove, was once annoyed that maya
zine should continue to come to her add
dress long after she had notified the
publisher that she wished it discontin
ned. After nearly two years had elaps-
cd the bill arrived, but addressed to
Mrs. Crane, instead OF Grove. The mis-
take was discussed. when visitor re-
marked that he supposed "the publish
ers thought, from the length of the bill,
it must belong to Crane"