The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-02-14
Miscellany.
A Candidate for a CIerI..l1ip.

Mark Twain" writes fEom Washington to
the Chicago Republican as follows:
was standing, all by myself, in the COM
mittee room, reading vast law book, and
wondering what il was about, and whether
the plaintiff had done so and so, or whether
1t was the defendant; and which of them
they found guilty; and how the mischief they
ever knew he was guilty when the words
were tangled up so and noting, with graft
fcation, the reference to Perkins v. Bangs.
Mo. Rep. iii, &C., whereby it was apparent
that ii one did not get mixed up enough in
that book there were Others that could finish
him; and wondering also at the bewiderinp
tautology OF the said aforesaid book aforesaid.
when a youth to fortune andt fame unknown
2 dourshed In the most frisky way and
came to halt before me. This Young man
had moustache that dimmed the liqbtness
oils countenance about as your breath dims
the brightness OF razor; and he bore down
into it with his fingers and gave it twist
which was sineularly gratifying to him. con-
sidering that no effect was produced upon
the moustache by the operation. Then he
tilted his little soup dish to the port side of
his head with his gloved hand, and said
said * Hellow nH
He looked up surprised. Then he said:
Do you belong here?"
was just finishing sentence about Per-
kins v. Bangs. | finished it and observed
The weather is very fne.Y
he Whisked nervously up and down the
room couple OF turns, and then stopped be-
fore me and said:
'Are you the Clerk of the Judiciary Com.
mittee?'
said in the urbanest manner:
" In view OF the circumstance that on so
short an acquaintance you betray SO much
solicitude concerning my business I will
venture to inquire what you may happen to
want with the Clerk of the Judiciary Com
mittee?'
That is not answering my question. Are
you the Clerk of the Judiciary Committee ?D
LII view OF the circumstances that on so |
snort an acquaintance You betray so much |
soiic1tude concerning my business, I will |
venture to inquire again what you may hap /
pen to want with the Clerk of the judiciary |
Committee ?" ~
That don't concern ANYBODY but me
What want to know is, are you, or are Won |
not the Clerk Of the Judiciary Commttee?D |
In view, as ! said before, of the circum- |
stance that ON so short an acquaintance YOU
betray so much solicitude concerning nv |
business, WIN venture to inquire once again, |
what you may happen to rant with the |
Clerk of the Judiciary Committee ?"
49, he scratched his head in apparent ner- |
plexity Tor a matter of five seconds, and then /
said with deliberation andimpressive earnest
ness:
wen, LII De damned"
presume so. l hope so. Still. being a |
stranger, you cannot expect me to take more |
tnan passing interest in your future plans.n |
lie looked puzzled and a little chafed. He |
said: Look here, who are you?,
In view of the circumstance"
Oh, curse the circumstance"
Amen" fv |
He did not reply. He seemed -rorried and |
annoyed. Presently he started out. and said |
by George he would go alter the Michigan |
senators and inquire into this thing. [ said |
they were esteemed acquaintance of mine,
and asked him to say. that was well. but he
refused to do this, notwithstanding all my
politeness, and was profane again. / never
saw such firebrand as he was
7r- Now, what can that young fellow mean by
going round asking respectable people if tbev
are Clerks of Senate committees? If NV feel |
ings are to be outraged in this way, cannot /
stay in Washington. don't like 10 be called |
Hello by strangers with imaginary moustacbes.
either. This man turned out TO be an i'm
portation from Kalamazoo. and he wished to
ship as sub-clerk to the Judiciary Commit |
tee. He is little fresh. 1t might have been
better II he had staid in the KalamazooIogi-
cal Gardens until he got his growth, perhaps.
Still, IT his friends would like to have the
opinion OF a stranger of him, l think he will
make success here, in one way or another. |
He has spirit and persistence. The opiy
tronole is that he has most too much sheIlon
about him.