The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1868-01-17
THE OLD BACHELOR AND
40 '...'' 5ti T, ~. THE BABY. - s.1 /

40 40 5I' T, .5a THE BABY. - - /
Mr.. Ellery Corban was an exceeding
| ly.nervous man. He came honestly by
| it, for his mother was nervous before
him. Mr.. Corban was bachelor OF
forty-five, remarkably we'll preserved,
| tand rather fine looking. He had u
portly figure, fiorid complexion, and a
| head of dark brown hair, which any
man might have been excused for feel
ing proud of. He had never kept house,
perhaps because he knew that elderly
bachelors and widowers were generally
fated to marry their housekeepers; and
Mr.. Corban regarded marriage and the
gallows as about on par. Women and
babies he considered very unnecessary
part Of creation. The mystery Of their
having been allowed an existence he
could never solve. He could net help
| regarding their creation as a grave mis-
take somewhere. He boarded at Mrs.
Gregg's and had made his home there
for fifteen years. Mrs. Gregg was as
much like o man as she could be and
! still be q woman.
O.e day last summer it became evil
dent to Mr.. Corban that he must take a
| Journey West. The interest of his bust
ness demanded it; so he put few
things into a valise, said good morning
to Mrs. Gregg, and set out for the depot.
He was five minutes late, for his neck
tie had given him a great deal of trou-
BILE, and he had been unable to find a
| ,,,Iioh NOT 1aG i
tute of toes. But he had cemforted
himself with the reflection that, as he
had boots on, nobody would be the wiser
in regard to the unclad condition of his
toes, and at last he got off. He heard
the whistle and started upon the run.
| If there is anything especially, calcula-
lated to put one out of temper, it is
Having to catch the cars and our hero
may be excused if, VIXEN dripping with
perspiration and completely out OF
breath he rushed into the first car
which offered, he was irritated with the
world, himself included.
The car was we'll filled. Ia fact there
was only one vacant seat, and that was
beside a woman. Corban turned to seek
the next car, but was met by the con-
ductor at the door. "No room in there,
sir! All full. Anniversary meeting at
Parkersburg. There's seat, sir" in
dicating thS one beside the woman.
ECorban was troubled with touch OF
the rheumatism in his left knee, and
could not stand comfortably-nothing
else could have forced him to 60 so near
one of the sex. He stepped up to her
and made the stereotyped inquiry:
"This seat engaged I" .r.'.#
"No, SIR" replied s very sweet voice ;
and Corban saw that speaker had blue
eyes and golden hair.
| lie took the seat, and the lady drew
the bundle she had been resting on the
cushion into her lap.
Better let me put your bundle up on
the rack I" suggested Mr.. Corban.
The lady opened her eyes in indig-
nant amazement, whipped off layer OF
flannel from the package and displayed
TO the Mortified eyes of our bachelor
friend, the red, putty face of moon
eyed baby. 80
'"Muzzers little, 'tweety sugar dar-
ling ~ she exclaimed, in the dialect
which is perfectly intelligible to all
babydom.
s"Muzzer won't let the naughty man
put little lammie, lumpy baby on the
rack"
The baby struck out menacingly with
| its fat fists in the direction of Mr. Cor
ban, and gave utterance to yell of tri-
umph. Mr.. Corban broke into cold
perspiration. He had never been so
near baby before in all his life. 1t was
almost too much for him. He had a
strong mind to stand the remainder of
the way, or until somebody vacated a
seat; but his knee gave an extra twinge,
and decided him to try and endure the
terrible state of things. He took q pa
per from his pocket and essayed to read;
but the baby launched out in one of
! those baby refrains, which is like music
! in the ears of all mothers, and the COO
! ing so confused our bachelor hero that
! he could make no sense of his paper, so
he pocketed it with the savage deter
mination to petition the next Congress
for women with babies to be kept in a
car by themselves. rFE.r.
At the first stopping place he was on
the lookout for seat, and to his joy
discovered the gentleman in the next
] seat huIAASh ~
leave; but before he was fairly out of
his seat, an old lady in a green shawl
and a poke bonnet had edged into it,
and cut off all Mr.. Corban's hopes. OF
course she turned around and talked to
the baby.
"Dear little chicken, How old is it
marmi"
Almost eight months" said the proud
mother.
"Well, | declare! what large child
of his age! Why, there was my Enoch,
when he was year, he warn't a mite
nor grain bigger than that child! But
then, Enech, he hsd the whooping
cough bad, aud the measles, and the
nettle-rash, and collaretta infanticide
af,re he was eleven months And ex'
pect the diseases had some effect onto
his constitution. 'rr.,,r.
~ should think SO" replied the baby's
mother. -..-. l.
"You looked tired, DEAR" went on the
old lady; the baby must be dreadful
heavy. Why don't you. Ietits pa take
himi" with very reproachtul glance al
the savage countenance of Mr.. Corban
I "Pm not his par grumbled Mr.
Corban, pulling his hat little further
down over his eyes.
40, you ANTI Wall, now, that'scuris" "
said the old lady. TIE baby is the i'm
age Of, yop-jest = the, same, kind O
n6se; andits eyes has got thesame ex
preston"
+ ESpressiSn. Indesd! Mr. Corban wa:
boiling over. He had always pesuliar
ly prided himself on his expression
and here was this old ogre comparing
him to that VdumpI Ing1faeed, buckle
berry-eyed baby.
WALL" said the old lady, slowly, a:
though she had reached the conclusion
aftsr some thought. II 'sPose rs it''
likely this is post-mortem child, which
means one as is horn after the death o.
its father, and you married its mother
! rather soon after her husband departed
I this vale of tears. Wall, that's got tc
be dreadful common now. But N!
Elijah has been dead nigh onts nine
teen months, and amt begun to think
i6f q second partner; though Z Squire
Hudson, he has been left so helpless
and uufortunit with them six children
of his, that L don't know. / hope the