Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-01-08
.YOL[... ..,xx:xY.,.. /.
Wliilo). Statesman. 5l1j|'; il Il n
Mark Twain on 81. Thomas.

Mark Twain on 81. Thomas.
Mark Twain expatiates thusly in the
Neao York Tribune over Mr.. Stewards
purchase: .si,'sl s'i1
Could you give me any information
respecting such islands, if any, as the
Governments is going to pnrchase2 1t
is an uncle of mine that wants to know.
He is an industrious man, and well-dis-
rosed, and wants to make living in an
honest, humble way, but, more especially
ewants to be quiet He wishes to set
tie down and be quiet and unosten-
tatious..s He has been to the new island
st. Thomas-but he says he thinks
things are not 1i settled there. He
went there,1 early, with an attache of
the State, Department., who was sent
down with money to, pay for the island.
My uncle had his money i'll the small
box, ,sand SO when they went ashore, get
ting receipt, the sailors broke open the
box and took all the money, not making
any distinction between the Government
money, which was legitimate money to
be stolen, and my uncle's, which, was
his own private, property and should
have been respected. But he came
home and got some more, and went
back And then 0 he took the gfe-
yer. There are seven kim s of fevers
down there, you know, and his blood
was out Of order by reason of loss of
sleep and generalwear and tear of mind,
he failed to cure the first fever, and then
-somekow'he gotIsthe other SIX. He is
not kind of man that enjoys fevers,
though he is well-meaning and always
does what he thinks isright, and so that
-helwas good deal annoyed when itap-
peared that hewas going to die. ian0s
1 But -he worried through and got well,
and started farm.o He fenced it in, and
the next day that great storm came and
washed most of it over to Gibraltar, or
-aroundathere somewhere. He only said,
in his patient way, that it was gone, and
he wonldn't bother about trying to find
out where it went to,Ithough. it was his
opinion it went to Gibraltar sli3
10 Thenthe invested in mountain,a and
started farm up there, so as to be sure
of the way when the sea came ashore
again 1t was good mountain and a
good farm-but it wasn't any use-an
earthquake came the. next night and
shook it all down. It was all fragments,
you know, and SO mixed up with other
mems property that he. could not tell
which were his fragments without going
to law, and he would not do that, because
his main object in going to St.tThomas
was to be quiet. All that he wanted
was to settle down and be quiet.
hn He Thought it all over, and finally he
concluded to, try the low ground again
|espe cially as he wanted to start a brick.
yard this time. He bought fat and
put out O,000 bricks to, dry, preparato.
ry to baking them. But luck appeared
to be against him. . A volcano showed
itself through there that night, and ele-
waited his brickyard about 1000 feet in
the air. It irritated him a good deal
He has been up there, and. he says the
bricks are all baked right enough, but
he can't get them down. At. first he
thought may be the Government would
get the bricks down for. him, because il
the Government bought the island il
ought to protect the, property where q
man has invested in good faith; but all
he wants is quiet, and so he is not 60
ing to apply for the subsidy he was
thinking about.
He went back there last week, in a
couple of ships Of war, to prospect around
the coast for a safe place for farm
where he could be quiet; but another
earthquake came and hoisted. both ships
out into one of the interior counties, and
he came near losing his life. So he has
given up prospecting in a ship, and is
discouraged. & nstslr ssfg 9sE's7
Well, now he don't know what to
do. He has tried Walrussia; hut the
bears kept after him SO much and kept
him so on the jump. as it were, that he
had to leave Jthe country He could
not be quiet there, with those bears
prancing after him all the time. This
is how he came to go to the new island
we have bought-St. Thomas. But lie
lis getting to think st. Thomas is not
quiet enough for man of his turn Of
mind, and that is why he wishes to find
out if the Government is likely to buy
some more shortly. He has heard that
the Government is talking about buying
Porto Rico. IF that is true,, he wishes
to try Porto Rico, if it is a quiet place.
How is Porto Rico for his style of man
Do you think the Government will buy
it2 ~ 330o ; MARK TWAIN.
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