The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1868-12-10
The Husband in the Kitchen.


Once upon time there was man so
surIy and cross, he thought his wife
never did anything right in the house.
ESQ, one evening, in hay-making time,
he commenced scolding and swearing:
and showing his teeth and making a
, dust.
"Dear love, don't be SO angry, there's
a good man." said his lgood wife "to-
morrow let's change our work. I'll go
out with the mowers and NOW, and you
shall mind the house at home."
Yes the husband thought that would
do very well. He was quite;willing, he
said.
So, early the next morning, his
wife took scythe lover her shoulder,
and went into the bayfield, with the
mowers and began to NOW; but the
man was to mind the house, and do the
work at home.
First of all he wanted to churn the
butter, but when he had churned awhile
he'got thirsty and went down cellar
to tap barrel of ale. So, when he had
knocked in the bung and was putting
the tap into the cask he heard the pig
in the kitchen overhead. Then off he
ran up the cellar stairs. with the tap in
his hand as fast as he could to look after
the pig, lest it should upset the churn.
But when he got up and saw that the
pig had already knocked the churn ov-
er, and stood there grunting and root
| ing among the cream. which was run
ming on the floor, he got so wild with
rage that he quite forgot the ale barrel
andSan at the pig as hard as he could.
He caught it, too, just as it ran out of
the door, and gave it such kick that
piggy lay, for dead on the spot. Then
all at once he remembered he had the
tap in his hand, and when he got down
cellar every drop of ale had run out of
the cask.
Then he went into the dairy and
found cream enough left to fill the
churn, for butter they must have for
dinner. When he had churned a bit
he remembered that their cow was still
shut up in the barn and hadn't had a
bit to eat or drop to drink all the
morning, though the sun was high
Then all at once he though it was too
| far to take her to the meadow, so he'd
just get her up on the housetop-tor the
house, you know, was tllatched with
| sods, and fine crop of grass was grow
ing there. Now, their house lay close
up against steep down,and he thought
| if he lay plank across to the thatch at
the back, he could easily get the cow
upon the roof.
But still he couldn't leave the churn,
for there was his little baby, crawling
about on the floor, and "if l leave it,
thought he, 1.-The child is sure to upset
it, So he took the churn on his back
and went out with it; but then he
| thought he'd better first water the COW
before he turned her out of the thatch
so he took up a bucket to draw water
out of the well; but as he stopped down
at the wells brink all of the cream ran
out of the churn over his shoulders, and
so down into the well.
Now it was near dinner time, and he
hadn't got the butter yet: so he thought
he'd best boil the porridge, and filled
the pot with water, and hung it over
the fire. When he had done that, he
thought the COW might perhaps fall off
of the thatch and break her legs OF neck.
So he got on the housetop to tie her up
One end of the rope he made fast to the
cows neck, and the other he slipped
down the chimney and tied it around
his thigh; he had to make haste, for the
water now began to boil in the pot,and
he had still to grind the oak-meal.
So he began to grind away, but while
he was hard at it, down fell the COW of
the housetop after all; and as she fell
she dragged the man up the chimney
by the rope; there he stuck fast; and
as for the COW, she hung half way dowr
the wall, swinging between heaven ant
earth, for she could neither get up OF
down.
And now the goody had waited sew,
en- lengths and seven breadths for hel
husband to call them home to dinner
but never call had they. AT last she
thought she had waited long enough
and went home. But when she go
there and saw the COW hanging in sucl
an ugly place, she ran up and cut th'
rope in two with her scythe. But al
she did this, down came her husband
out of the chimney; and so when hi
old dame came into the kitchen, ther'
she found her husband standing on hi
head in the nnrridUe not