New-York tribune., 1868-05-25
THE SOUTH CAR0LIHA EUPHRADL4NS

TIE SOUTH CAROLINA EUPHRADL4NS.
There is, as some of our readers may require
to be informed, seminary called the Univer-
sity of South Carolina and within this institu-
ton, as all our readers will require to be in
formed, there is a subsidiary force called the
Euphradan Society, from two Greek words
signifying youth is very knowing" THIS
powerful auxiliary body consists OF ingenious
Freshmen, sagacious SophOmores, judlclous
Juniors, and Seniors in the very highest stages
of philosophical senesence-every one OF them
knowing more than Lord Brougham, who is
lust dead at the age of ninety! Immense IN
learning however, we are grieved to say that
the Euphradians are lacking in loyalty; Tor
having discovered that two of the Euphradlans,
Il. j. Robertson and +. j. Moses, have adhered
and intend to adhere to the Union and
the Constitution, the Society has turned
Robertson and Moses out into the unclassical
cold. issuing to the world the doom of these
unfortunate young men in a tremendously long
preamble and three short resolutions, which
are published by authority in The Charleston
Mercury. in the former, it is declared Robert
son and Moses have violated the bond OF
"amicitie sacrum,' which is beautiful Latin,
and speaks well for classical training IN the
South Carolina University. In another place 1t
is declared that the Euphradians will never
again "extend the hand of amicitie Sdcrum,"
which is equally neat and accurate Latinity.
As a whole, however, we are inclined TO
think that the Euphradians are destined to
achieve the greatest honor and glory IN their
native tongue, which they write with rotun-
dty unexampled in the annals OF sesquipedal-
ity. As general thing we have found Pro-
fessors of Rhetoric quite paralyzed by the re-
sponsibility of their situation, but whoever
dignifes that chair in the South Carolina Uni
yersity has every reason to be proud OF the
progress of his pupils. The most impressive
rhetorical professor ever encountered by us had
only one rule, which was that The first SEN
" tence of every essay, young gentlemen should
"be short" The South Carolina doctrine would
seem to be different, for the first sentence of
this preamble is the only one, and it stretches
and meanders, it twists and turns with erratic
verbosity through space which, considering
that there is no sense at all, is positively
miracle; while the nOminative cases hunt up
and down for their runaway verbs; while nouns
wildly call for their abscondng adjectives, and
every part OF speech runs afOul of every other
part of speech in bewildering but beautiful con-
fusion. The general purport of this witch dance
of words is, that Robertson and Moses, being
loyalists are not gentemen-a fact which mean
and ordinary writers would have expressed in
three lines Here is specimen which we have
tried very hard TO refrain from giving to our
readers, but just when our love OF breyity
seemed to predominate our love of beauty made
us grasp the official scissors. Lege" as they
would say in the University of S. c.
Whereas With feelings no less sensitive. this Society
deplores all manner Of degradation while she would even
mourn over those VINO nave proven Iase 70 tner own
virtue and left the remaining fragments 10 All IN the
dust under foot sed In their throats the smooth flow
OF eoqunce by the repeated utterance and subtle
talseh0ods thereby sinking themselves as t were INTO
refuses TO extend and Theras in the eyes OF the public
generally aud more especially IN the eyes OF this Society
Thomas j. Robertson and Franklin j. Noses jr late reg
uar members have In all these respects, lowered their
dignity and station true gentlemen Of Carolina &C., DC
In conclusion it is declared that t. j. r. and
f. j. NJ. are now expelled from this Society
and its immunities,n which to their sensitive
minds must be rather more excruciating than
being broken on the wheel. There Is some
thing frightful in being cut off from the
Euphradian immunites." No longer will they
listen to the exquisite eloquence of that assOcia-
ton. No more can their young feet enter its
mystic and Eleusinian halls. No more can they
battle themselves in the sage smiles of its
brotherhood No more can they join in the high
debate and exhibit to that tremendous senate
the budding beauties of their elocuton. No
more can they borrow one volume per week
from the library, if haply there be any library,
to borrow from. Ere this, with such dread
full mark upon their foreheads, they have felt
that the high, pure, and erudite University of
South Carolina is no place for wretches under
ban, and have asked the venerable President
Eve do not know his name) for an honorable
dismissal, which, of course with scorn and
loathing, he will refuse to grant them. Then
will they depart like two Adams out of an in
tellectual Paradise, with the gnawng con-
sciousness that the Arts will never allow them
TO be their Bachelors! 1' .lflih tohh
If the Doctors of this University were as
loyal as they are learned they would never
permit q couple of young fellows 10 be per-
secuted by any College Society, simply on
account of their fidelity TO the. institutions of
their country. They would make short work
of the Euphradian Society, by forbidding its
meetings and closing its mystic portals. But
they will do nothing of the kind These boys
know well enough what will be pleasing TO the
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