The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-10-09
4Bfif ats Dutttur.

- Man is a mister, and women
mystery. t-3I 500.
brigham Young is the pillar of
Salt Lake and his idea OF Il wife-Lots.
o. Heat can travel faster than cold
anybody can catch cold.
49, Motto for late euchre PARTIES
Burn the midnight Hoyle.
49, 1t is both betterand safer to gro"
il love than 10 fall in love.
Stealing nutmegs may be a small
crime, but it might lead to Crater.
= Some ladies' use paint as iiddlers
do rosin-to aid them in drawing beau.
The friends of lady who has Just
taken the pledge have named her IVA
ter Loo"
- Most of the shadows that cross
our path through life are eausedby our
Sanding in our own light. ~ tu',
$780, Goldsmith musthave been think
ing ofthA Grecian bend, when he wrote:
s'When lovely women stoops to ny"
-a- The Radicals can stand anything
better than the truth-that kills them
sure. flan 5ta
uGreeian bend, collie. or, as some
term it, the improper cicumtondibus-
terosity." assais of ~
Jim the excitable, says he don't
care a fig for fans. but he knows Fan
nv that is perfectly charming. stl
A pedant remarked to a'farmer.
cannot bear a fool.n Your mother
-could,n was the reply.
a man in Norwich dropped a
live coal into q boWbsnell "to hear it
-fizzlo You MAJ bet he heard IL.
- A Jacobin paper says Blair ought
TO be heeled. No one conld say that
about any member OF the niger party.
They are all he els.
-. "Will you have some grapes,
Monsieur % asked a gentleman OF a
Frenchman. ssNo saire L don't swal
bw my wine in the shape otpills."
awake mp here and pay for yonr
-lodging.'' said deacon, as he mudged
sleepy stranger with u contribution
box.
"I'm not myself at all to-day"
said bore to the artist lnman. mo
matter for that was the reply ;"who-
ever else You may be. you are galner
by the change"
- A well-known author hung up
his stocking in Jest last Christmas Eve,
and his wife very much in earnest. put
a baby in it !; wherenpon the author
said, shy dear darn that stocking,
- A country gentleman advertised
for a small black tan leather collar,
through which was the head of black
tan terrier dog. We trust he will re-
cover the lost coilai. atha libd I
Secret socetirs are OF very an
Gent origin. Cain married the daugh-
ter of an Nod fellow and it is even sup
posed thstour first parents hada"lodge
in the Wilderness" ~
An old sailor objected to the
proposition of nyenting an india rubber
shil1. Because it would rub out all the
lines of longitude, to say nothing of the
Equator. ~
Josh Billings was not ten miles
ont of the way when he flung this OF :;
"Men who have CRATE deal to do with
bosses seem to demoralize far more
than the bosses do ~ tat
-The full name of Miss Sue But
Ter. the Generals niece, is strangely
said to be Miss Sue Pladle Butler.
We think Soup Ladle' would be more
appropriate. ,tH-
- The pulse of young ladies gener
ally beats stronger in the palm Of the
hand than at the wrist. This curious
fact of ply siology has been frequently
observed by young men of an inyesti-
eating turn Of mind,
- JerroId went to party at which
a Mr. Pepper had assembled all his
friends. Jerrold saidtohls host on en-
terln9 the room; My dear Mr.. Pep
per how glad YOU must be to see all Of
your friends mustered.H ete- 13
- An elderly oennsylvapia WON
on and her daughter, looking at mar
BILE statue OF Girard III the College build
Ing. the other day, startled the by
stauders by eXclaiming "La Sally,
how white he was f t.nR 4al
80 a robust cortry man meeting
physician, ran to hide behinG the wall.
icing asked the cause he replied sit
is so long since / have heel sick, that
am ashamed to look physician in the
face 1'a
- IIery Nv, of France. loved brew
ity. Meeting a clergyman one day, he
said, s'Whence do youc come where are
YOU going? What do you want ?''-
From Bonrges to Paris a beniflee.-
You snail have one, as quickly replied
the Monarch.
- MADAM" said cross tempered !
physician to.a patient, iii women were
admitted to paradise, their tongues
would make it a purgatOry% sand |
some physicians, il allowed to gractice
there replied the lady, ''would soon |
make it a DESERT"
A. representative of the rural
district dropped into one of orr city |
restaurants, not long since,' and order |
Cd what he heard the man opposite him |
call for-"Apple dumpling-b both. - |
Having managed to make way with the |
sauce. he was asked by the waitor it he
would, shave any more dumping sir 2
s,No sir, til lnkee, was the reply ''but
I viii thank you for a little more of |
that ERE intment.
- The Intensity of maternal atfec-
tGn was well Illustrated in the obser-
walton of sweet little boy, who after
reading John Bunyan's Pilgrims Pro-
gress, aske his mother which of the char
acters she liked best. She replied,
"Christi n, of course; he is the hero of
the story" The dear child responded:
"Mother like Christiana the best be-
cause when Christian set ONT on his pill
grialage went alone, hut when Christi
ana went, she took all the children ieiH