The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-08-21
Snare Lines.

The most polite parts Of ship are the
bows und gallant yards.
The hen never Jokes when she lays her
egg. She is always In her nest.
A person Who had been listening to a
very dull address, remarked that everything
went of well-t,p.eiaiiy he audience.
Some person was asked why b stood be-
fore G.. BECAUSE was the answer, "a
man must Il before he can Z.
An old bachelor is a traveller on life's
railroad. who has entirely failed To make
the proper connections.
The gentleman So often spoken Of in
novels, who riycIed people with his gaze,
has obtained employment in boiler manu-.
factory.
The rvpor,. Of diseased cattle in the New
York market has had the effect or reduc
ing the demand for meats, AMI consequent
ly the prices have dropped some.
My dear" said u rural wife to her hus-
hand. ON his rrturn from town, ''what was
the sweetest thing YOU saw in hornets in
the city - "'rhc ladies' faces, my love-"
Look Our ron A SQuAlL.-Fwe barrels
Of old Robinson whisky passed through
Louisville on tho second ult., consigned to
President Johnson.
A nervous individual writes to ask,
"whether sirychpine, what the police gives
TO dogs, won, pisen tho human being after
sassingers has been fried"
When lady INDUCES a yawn or two,
gentlemen are justified in guessing their
hat is needed on their heads, and that the
hest siio Of the door is the outside.
Wilson. the celebrated vocalist, was up.
set near Edinburg. A Scotch paper, aites
recording IN. accident said AVE are hap
py to state that he was able to appear the
following evening in three pieces"
lie who has never tried tho companion
ship OF hiile child has carclcssly passe,
by one Of the greatest pleasures OF life. rs
one passes a rare flower without pluckinl
ID or knowing It's value.
Josh Billings SAYS, "whIskec," the grca
American beverage, is the great daddy o
all likrr. and everything that has a good
reliable drunk in Il. is ut least euxzin Il
whiskec or oil RE. ......
The driver ola stage coach near Coop
crstown. in New York, was asked " III
was an e,nigmnt stage. "Weil, he rcJoin
cd" . don't know about the En-, but il u
adarncd good Grani stage, | know"
There. wss once consul 1T, wht
indicated bio Office hours by the leesnd OF
his door-'in irom ten to ons,' An old ses
captain, who kept coming for week with
out finding the consul, at last iuriousl ,
wrote, ten to one you're Out
Mister, did you say or did You no, "a,
what I said you said, because q. said yo,
said YOU said YOU never did say what
said YOU said; now II you say that You di'
no, say what said you said, then uha
did you say.
A writer In Hartford paper says tina
Miss Kellogg is not 10 marry Bienia'li, al
leging a mysterious srcason that Is raihe
amusing to the friends Of the charming sing
en-" Ii must be amusing to Mrs. Bierstad
also.
A young lady having bouzh, a pair o
Shoes number too small, sent them IN
second hand store to have them sold
uhereupon the Teu,onic shopkeeper al
veriscd them in his window ms follows
"For sale-A tight lady's shoes"
An elderly lady, telling her age, remark
ed that she was born on the Ord Of April
Her husband, who was present. observed
II always thoaght you were born on th
lst Of April p .People well might thin
so," replied tho lady, in the choice
made Tor . hssbsnd."- ~. -.
The deacon ola church upon whom 4
swpaNor hal bsen secls6 wss Psstss,
his many good qualities toths deacon Of