The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-03-03


Jones, fall to upon the bread and milk,
willing to lie 'accommodalin' to tile wins
ncn, now and then " Sam Jones looks
grim and di-satisa i, and bitches back
-pitefully. "Mr jones'" says the good
woman, busting about AMI Gdseitinc
among the crockery, "AIr Jones, | hope
you'll make dinner. Terrible sight Of
work on hand, to day, and 50 ricked up
what come handiest. DJn't yua SGT by
hrc'd and milk Mr. Jonc," Yes, M ,rm
do" replied Jones. grdilly 81 set 10y bread
and milk, mnrm, this hot day, in harvest
inc, and | i set by it t. ali ctarniiy fore
I'll eat IT,"
Tobacco shoall noi be chewed, Lu. es,
chcwed.
Three things to govcrn-tcm per, tongue
'nl conduct.
4 frog does not remember when hs
vas t,dpole, but others 10.
IF You carry th. cro4 chserfully, 1t
viii carry you s,irl,.
Many a f1oi who his sense cno1rh TO
get good Oili', lacks the Wit to know it.
"A girl with "a ''lidgjng laneh" cause
IN alarm Of fire ia PEORIA Th,y took
ser Tor a b"!l.
How WAS the queen able to write suclI
i good diary' Because she had ''!i4lFs"
Few ladla. are 80 mo lest as to refuse
10 sit in the lap Of luxury.
Why do girls kis, each other, and men
not! Because girls have rothiag better to
kis-, but men have.
Josh Billings says he believes in tho
HAL salvation Of III IN; but he wants the
privilege o! picking the men.
A Ddich woman desired TO advertise
her pony which had lost himself, nit
tail iraky yer much, and strike yer hard
mit h hind fsis.
The man "ho canno: tini words enough
to expr IS hls gratitude is advised to pur-
chase copies Of Web5ter's and Worces,crs
dictionaries.
Alvce i. ike snow; tho softer i, falls,
he lng'r it dwells upon, aud the deeper
it sinks into the mind.
Since our Maker thought il wong for.
Adam to live single when there was not 10
woman on earth, how guilty are old bi,'h-
elors with the world iull OF pretty girls.
Alta concert recently, At the conclusion
Of The song, There gool time coming,
country farmer got up ami exclaimed:
Mister, you coul In fix tho date, could
you!
1t takes three editors 10 STAR; news.
paper in New Urleans-one to gat killed
in duel, one to d., with yellow fever,
AMI one to write an obituary notice Of Tho
dsrunct two.
ia & most miserable state for man
10 have everything according 10 ms ueslre,
ami quietly to enjny the pleasures Of life.
There need be no more to expose him -
eternal misery.
A writer 4 ell ns upon the impo-tanc
If small things, s.ys that lie ways take
note even Of n straw, csIoci lily if ther.
hnrpens to be II sherry COLLIER at one enl
Of it.
Conversation Is the laughter of ressoi.
ing, the moihct Of knowledge, the breath
IF the sml, tie commerce Of hearts, the
bond Of friendship, the nouri.hmen, OF
CONTEXT, and the occupation Of men &C
VIII,
Mrs Pnr;ing'on says that il she Should
he cast away, she would prefer meeting
with the catastrophe in the Bay of Bls-
cults, for then she should have something
10 eat.
Rad luck is simply man with lis
hands in his breeehes pocket and Il pipe
n his mouth, looking on TO see how it
Nil come cut. Good luck i man Of
pluck to meet the difficulties; lis sleeves
rolled up, working 10 make it come out
right. a-
a man on being told by a generous
farmer tia. he would give Inn l. rrel
If cider, asked him il he woilI hrrg it
10 his house. C,riNiny, replies. I @ far
mrr, with pleasure. Well, said the o te-
''lI recipient, what will you pay for
the barrel when the cider i gone!
\ gen,lem IN ia Hartford ~, lately
bought crow. AMI al il ooked rs All
'Xperin ent he inv ted two OF his friends
10 dine "un him. andsnisy one anrei it
he bes. p lsirIdse they had ever. eaten,
le is cla,cl at l.',,rg ii-cuS rs n new
slme bad, and Off fifty cents rpicce for
vows. That price will fetch them iigit
along.
a certain Irish attorney threaienei 10
prosecute u Dublin printer for inserting
he death Of a lis,ng person. ] Ine mel>
,cer concluded with ihe remark Il at $40
printer should publish death unless in
formed OF the fact by the parry deccbse.l,
Two old gentlemen were conpl ment-
ing esclse'her upn their habit. Of in-
,empeFance. DID yoa ever, heighbor,
al ono, see me with more than ccu'd
rarryf NA i1dced, was the ia,,lr, Lut
have seen ynu when tho, 81 you bad
t,r