The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-08-07
Spare Ltsses.

A noisy canvuss-bellowins sails.
Visionary frui,-the apple Of your eye.
A small financial brceze-a farthinggale.
Legal iender-a lawyers proposal oflovc.
A feast Of reason-the entertainment Of
an idea.
Any great egotist may be said to have
capital ].
How to please lady-let her do as she
plesscs.
Oriental in,clligencc-,ho latest dates from
Smyrna.
Men do not lie in their graves half so much
~ tho tomtstones above them.
When is intelligence pusnacious? When
Il strikes dismay.
To lose your watch in,erferes with your
pleasure. Al least, IL prevents You from
having good time.
Wheels, like men. are often tired, and
very frequently from kindred eauss-go-
ing round so much.
A trial match is soon to como OF be.
tween rival 'sleepists " The church and
preacher for the occasion have not been Sc
lccted.
II is good thing to have utility and
beauty combined. as the washerwon,an
said when she used her Is children for
clothes pins.
The Revelation. edited by Miss Susan d.
Anthony, says: 1--WE have kept our babies
out Of sight many time, for fear a tobacco
chewing friend would kiss them.'
A Western editor, in response to sub
scriber who grumbles that his morning paper
was intolerably damp, says, 'rhat II Is be-
cause there is so much due on IT,"
At Sunday School lately, a bright little
fellow was asked, "What 10 COINCIDENCE p
IAN inward MONITOR" was the reply.
"And what is monltor?' Zone Of the
iron ela,ls."
A boy eight years old, in one Of our pub
lie schools, having been told that reptile
els an animal that creeps," on being asked
to name one on examination day, promptly
and triumPhan,ly replied, @baby."
"Docs tho dentist kiss yoa when he pulls
your teeth, pm? "No, my son; why?"
oh, nothing, only he kissed mn, and sho
sa.l u took the ache all AWAY; and guess
ndid Tor she laughed all the way ho,ne."
A Mrs. Boots, OF Pennsylvania. has left
her husband, MIR. Boots, and straycd TO
paris unknown. We presume this pair Of
Boots arc rights AMI let's. We cannot ssy,
however. that Mrs. Boo,s 10 r;rht. bur ,berc
is no mistake Air. Boots b lon.
An eloquent orator proposss to "vra.p ,
nav Of light from the grr~t orb OF day, spin
!, into threads Of gold, and with them
w..ve n shroud in which to wrap the
vhirlv;od which dies upon tho bosom Of
our Wcasien prairics." We fear the ma
chinssy will break before tho fabric !.
through the loom.
MIR. Pophius seroesdsd his lady the Other
evening and sung, "won't you como out
,o.nishi?" PopEins remarked to his chum
afler getting home that he didn't expect 10
see her come out in her night-gown a. she
did. Popkins sang terribly out or tune
the moment Susan Maria Aostsd INTO view
n, the third story window. lilo expect.
ed silk and curis insiesd OF cotton and pa
pcrs. rtf .H.
A few years ago q preacher requested
some one TO tako up collection. Ayoung
man, a stranger in the place, jumped and
commenced s,circulsting the hat" In such
a way - to finish the job q the doos, and
rass ont with ihc proeeods. Tho prcscbcr
cycling him - he went out, o6ssrved: Ill
that yuuus man ruus away with that
money he'll DO damned" A deacon sitting
BY the window, end sscise him mako OF
down tho ssrces. resFssstesl, .Asa-1 ~
hasn't run away with tho, money, rH b
d-dln