Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-06-19

you, when you spend an evening out But
she is not good at billiards, and does moi
fancy game suppers. So must submit to
her watching, and report myself on her
return for an naffectionaterevie and inspec.
tion. Her eye were enough, if she would
be satisfied with seeing. But the scrutiny
is not confined to sight. She must not
only look, but taste. She will persist in
kissing me welcome. All the famous nos.
trums to sweeten the breath are so many
forms of confession, and / have given them
up.
The standing amusement Of John Smith
is teasing me. He expects some day to
bring out developement which will tease
my wife. He induced Bessie to believe,
before we were married, that he could not
live without me. Why, then, cannot he
drop in at our house now, in pleasant,
social way? And when he is here to tea,
why cannot he wait the evening after,
when Bessie offers him the freedom of the
dining-room to smoke his cigar in? Why
cannot the man blow cloud with me
sometimes, in our quiet home? 1t would
so remove complications Now am afraid
his bachelor antics will one day spoil all
Such awful romancing as he used to in
dulge in respecting himself and me about
me, especially, making my poor self such
a model that am living under lie every
day; and he, the villain, enjoying it!
He makes me feel as if dwelt on the
crust of volcano, and might expect, any
hour, terrific explosion. He is full of
oblique hints and dark innuendoes when
Bessie is in hearing, as if he could tell
something, but spares me for her sake.
And when we are alone he tauntS me with
being wife-governed, and wonders why
marriage must always spoil man. Be-
cause he can deceive his poor old mother,
he laughs at me since cannot, or will not,
hoodwink his sister. And yet he himself
retains somelof his old fear of her, too. /
have great mind to expose him to her
but then!
J Yes, then all my matrimonial larks
and follies will come out. My innocent
little Bessie is so correct, and so ignorant
of this naughty world, that mole hills, in
her eyes, will be mountains. am deter
mined some day to confront the danger.
I will sit down some evening at Bessie's
feet and make clean breast of it. There
is really nothing to tell; but there is a
wonderful deal that womans imagina-
tion may surmise, if John Smith keeps up
his pretended mystery. Bessie only laughs
as yet. l wonder if she really knows any
thing of our former frolics?
The man will drive me desperate. Yet
may laugh too-f those may laugh who
win. My petty cash shows a better bal
ance than l ever knew before. have dis
covered that it actually cost less to support
a man and wife than to maintain a bach
elor. So John Smith may think he has
his joke; but the best of the joke is mine.
Yes, oh, Bessie, Bessie! If you only
knew me as / am, without the varnish
with which that brother Of yours has
covered me, am sure you would like me
all the better.
u.-FROM JOHN SMITHS STANDPOINT.
William Jones was tip-top fellow be-
fore he married my sister Bessie. And
now he has settled down, in month s
time, into such a humdrum family man
that he is not worth confessing as an
acquaintance, much less claiming as a
friend I am surprised that any man, with
Jones' experience, could be so conquered
and reduced to penal servitude. For his
condition is no better. He is suffering the
pains and penalties of matrimony No
longer can he promptly answer whether
he can make an appointment, or keep one.
Perhaps his misfortune is my fruit. [ did
not foresee the magnitude of the conse-
quences of the two short words II
will" Having never before lost q friend
by matrimony, l could not suppose that
he, or any other man, could be so affec-
tionately and effectually eXtinguished.
Why, l have fought Bessie from child
hood up, and never failed to conquer, ex-
cept when / permitted her to win small
matter that might win great one. Per-
haps sin the wife's name there is tower
of strength" but l can't perceive how
ringing bell can give her so much ad-
vantage. Perhaps she gives out more
certain sound Yet | fancied that knew
all the weapons in her armory, and could
resist them all.
Tears? Don't know all about them ?
When she pretended that was on the
high-road to destruction, haven't left her,
many morning, like Niobe; and found
her all right and smiling when | came
home to dinner all ready to do anything,
or to go anywhere that l might suggest
and only too happy to be asked?
Expostulations Have not heard them
on all subjects; boots, hats, gloves, coats,
and especially cigars; the theatre, the
opera, the billiard-room, and especially
baseball? :?
time and oft, that she would tell "mam.
MAJ" And when did she do it, pray ?
What escapade of mine has she not cov-
cred over, for fear mother would detect
me? And her husband, the milk-sop, has
no mother to fear, not even a mother-in.
law. For our maternal relative chooses
| tn boom hnpCn in
honor her wisdom and reciprocate her af
fection.
Seedlings? And what of seedlings? II
sister had not scolded l should have feared
that she had outlived her affection, and
took no more interest in me. And what
if she would sit up and wait for me every
night? told her there was no need of it
II, after that, out of pure affection, or pure
obstinacy, or compound of affection and
obstinacy, she chose to sit in the parlor
till came in, and intercept me in the hall
what matter? 1t was cheerful to find
somebody waiting up for you I could
romance enormously about my pleasant
and profitable evening with VIM. Jones
Esq. though, sooth say, it was not always
that | had spent the hours with him
Once came near tripping Just as | was
inventing something which Jones had sai6
to me, and something which I had said tc
Jones, | happened to discover that he had
spent the evening with my sister. 1t was
convenient, moreover, to have Bessie wait
up for me. She could assist me at break
| fast in correcting my mothers misappre
| tensions in regard to the time of NV com
ing home. Ny dear mothers notions
about clocks ard hours were always ex