Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1868-07-02
SOME REMARKS ON MEN,
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

THE SUSPICIOUS MAN-Suspicion, lit
tie of it, is most as good as wisdom. bu
it is one of them kind of diseases tina
men are not to have small. It is like tn,
measles-if they have it, they have it al
lover. ;s
| A suspicious man is most always Gun
ming man; and cunning man is gene
rally rogue.
What the happiness Of suspicious ma,
consists in never could tell. It is Ger
tainly not in friendship, for he is afrait
to trust his own brother; it cannot be il
conversation, for he believes every mar
lies; nor in affection, for he looks upor
the artlessness, even of children. as The
germs of fraud. ~.s'.'7 ~
If man is born with this trait, it il
always the stoutest one be has got, and
about the only one; for suspicious are
like sheep sorrell. vinegary weed, thai
runs every generous plant out of the soil
If man learns to be suspicious, i,
only proves that he has been to bad
schools, where not much Of anything else
was taught.
Nobody but fool would lay aside al
caution to undertake to 60 through this
world like lamb frisking his tail; bu
nobody but rogue would learn any
more suspicion than he was actually
obliged to-. s
The WISE Wisdom is six-horst
team, with a careful driver on the box
Yea! wise man is an iron.clad elephant
chewing his cud.
But this world is full of wisdom tha,
never comes out of its hole; that always
roosts on the top limbs of a tree and hoots
at the wayfaring men, but cannot show
him out of the wilderness.
These kind of wise men are like old
guide boards at the crotch of the roads
with the lettering all washed off--wooder
prophets, worse than the news. h
Wisdom is made out of faith and virtue
and truth, seasoned with toll and expert
ence, and scented with modesty. Thi.
kind of wisdom is full as glorious as it i.
scarce. .sa-. Is sr5- ~. .-.,
But experience, without doubt, is th,
boss school-master of worldly wisdom
fss ess5na AID RaeaY ED 5sai E
out of job since. His school keeps al
day Saturdays. and Sundays too, and ha.
but one vacation in it, and that is when
all hands are asleep. ...---...
But say what you will, wisdom is a
rare bird. anyhow. There is lots of folks
that can show you the mule that kicked
them last, but it takes one of your classi.
cal scholars, one of your blooded wisdom
ers to point out the mule that is going to
kick next. ''a' 81 %1' 80
Get wisdom, my friends, whenever it
is in the market, for she is q harp with
l2OO strings. sa.rrr7 s.i s,.1st if.rt
THE ErFEM1NArn MAs--The effemi-
nate man is a weak poultice. n t.:;T
He is cross between a root beer and
ginger pop. with the cork left out Of the
bottle over night. '5a- .
He is fresh water mermaid lost in a
COW pasture, with his hands filed with
dandelions. Aa@s
He is tea-cup full Of whipped silly
bub-a kitten IN pantaletts--a sick mon
key With blonde mustache.
He is a vine without any tendrills-a
fly drowned in sweet ola paper kite in
dead calm s9aiaAleD1 80
| He lives like the butterfies-nobody
can tell why, :. He is as harmless as q
cents worth Of spruce gum, and as use
less as shirt button without any button.
hole. s. -. g @1.''-'
He is as lazy as bread pill, and ha'
no more hope than a last years grass
hopper. eas u q tao1 :;
he is . man without any gall and wo
, man without any gizzard.
He goes through life on his tiptoes ant
dies like cologne wsserspilt on the ground
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