The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-04-15
PHILLIPS FIRST BABY.

felicity. She was the mother of boy which
weighed eleven pounds.
He, Phillips, bid fair to lose his mind en-
tirely. He danced and sang, and fred guns
from the top Of his corn house, whistled Fan
kee Doodle while eating his breakfast, and
wrung the heads off all the fowls on the place,
to make chicken pie for the celebration.
This worthy couple had been married ten
years, and this was their first child People
had laughed at them on account of their
luck !; people who were overrun with children,
and whose lives were made miserable by the
seedlings and spankings they found it geoes-
sary to infict upon their wretehed little olive
plants
Now, Mrs. Phillips said, she guessed they'd
laugh out the other side. There had never
been so large baby born in Smithfeld, be-
fore. Mrs. Jones only weighed nine pounds
and had pug nose. Mrs. Sawyers was red
haired and had m;ole on its right foot-a
sure sign that it would come to bad end
and it only weighed seven pounds and four
teen ounces She guessed people had better
look at home before they laughed.
Baby proved to be Tartar He had
temper like windmill, and seemed deter
mined to develop his feet and lungs to the
utmost, while he had leisure; for he scream
ed and kicked twenty-three out of twenty
four hours.
But his mother declared he was an angel
We never come to imagine an angel with
puffy red cheeks, heels elevated in the air,
sucking sugar teat, and being BOUNCED
about in billow cradle to the tune of High
diddle dee !" but then our imagination is not
by any means SO yiTid as it might be-
From the hour in which he was born he
was the autocrat of the household; every
thing had to bow at his nod
The scullcry door creaked it was taken eff
the hinges, and the servant was in the draft
baby. For the same reason the coffee-mill
was removed to the wood shed The dishes
must be washed out of doors che clatter of
the plates made the baby scream SO. The
washing was done in the barn all the clocks
in the house stopped ; the dog was muzzled.
and the cat was chokcd-all from the fear of
disturbing the baby
Mr. Phillips paid a blacksmith who was To-
Gated within quarter of mile. one hun
bred dollars to move his shop, and Biddy was
moved to the cockloft of the wood shed on
account of snoring The child's diseases
were legion. It was wonder it could draw
its breath so many terrible ailments cinging
to it. Mrs Phillips was always on the watch
! for some new demonstration.
"Charles !" cried she, waking her husband
| from slumber one cold winter night, cit seems
to me the baby don't breathe just right"
| Mr.. Phillips sprang up and listened ::
GOOD gracious! he's got the snuales, Amt
he ~
ooh, dear! what shall we do if the baby
is going to be sick p
Mr.. Phillips got light, and the anxious
parents brought it to bear on the face Of their
child
ooh, heavensw cried the mother, "his face
is actually purple he's going to have the
scarlet fever. See that red spot on his ell
| bow.D
cit may be where he's laid on it" remark
ed Mr.. Phillips.
"Laid on it, eh you unfeeling man, you
unnatural father! And there, it's sucking
its thumb; I've known from the first it
wouldn't live, it sucked its thumb so much
"Seems to me I have heard my mother
say that it was sign of healthy child to
suck its thumb, but 1 won't be certain. Any
way, it's 8 good sigr or a bad one-I forget
which"
:sRun, Charles, run for the doctor It's
going to die-I know it is! Oh, don't stop to
dress-don't! It may die while you're wait
ing. Call Granny Bates, and tell her to
bring some eatnip and saffron and pepper
mint-tcll her to bring all the herbs she's
got do hurry, Charles, do! Mercy on us
| it's sucking both thumbs! Run r4n!"
Mr. Phillips caught up the first article OF
clothing he could lay his hands on, which
proved to be his wife's embroidered petit
coat bat he was in too much haste and al
| together too much excited to notice dress
particularly. He flung the garment over his
head and tied it around his waist. slipped on
his shoes and plunged into the keen air
The doctor was asleep, and did not care about
turning out but on being told that it was a
case of life Or death, he yielded at once.
Mr. Phillips left him dressing, and sped te
the residence Of Granny Bates. The old
lady was wise, but very superstitious, and be
lieved in warnings and appaEitions. Phillips
gave laundering rap at the door, and di
reotly night-capped head appeared at the