The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-10-31
Pnnchiana.

%N1; III H5 giNG 4 GI7EEH yjy e ,7,5R rS%0ENof
Punchiana.
wo COO an incessant advertisement,
"Churoh before Party" OF course. Quite
riobt Church in the morning. Party in the
evening. What need of such iteration?
LrNaUA EAST ANGLIA.
Suffolk Rustic lin the peculiar Eastern
counties tune, too subtle for notation)-
"Wh' et'th hollbo' Hiudercom adow J"
This was worse than Greek to the young
gentleman from London, to whom it was
shouted, SO we give a translaton-"Get into
the ditch, Bo'" (Suffolk sppelative), There
(yonder) comes Wood-PigeOn p'l
A TITLE TO CATCH ToRY.-Miss Braddon's
forthcoming work, Run to Earth, is advertised
as "a Novel of Incident" Well, now, not
knowing this, one might have supposed that
Run to Earth was a historical and political
novel, OF which the hero was Fox.
CALLER OU "A newspaper paragraph states
that there has been pretty general fall OF
oyster spat in most of the grounds. This is
good news. Let us hope the general fall of
oyster spat will be followed by as general
fall OF oysters.
PROBABLE PUBLICATIONS.
'Through Mud and Mire," Novel by the
Author OF Through Flood and Flame"
"Holiday Roses" a Treatise by the writer
of "Workaday Briers."
"The Eccentric London Square," Nara
tive by the Author of "The Regular Swiss
Round.''
'Tame as a Canary a Romance by the
writer of "Wild as a Hawk"
"Candles, Basins, and Gongs," Series of
Lectures by the Author of clamps, Pitchers,
and Trumpets."
A WoRDF ROM AN OLD WoMAN.-'Mrs.
Grundy's Grandm ther' writes to us to say
that she entirely diSapprOves of giving wells
:" 'orvants. Why, deary me the hussies
nowadays all carry parasols, so dFeadfuliy
afraid are they Of spelling their compilations
And as for letting them wear wells, why,
lawks they'd next be wanting drsgs to take
'em to the Darby
THE MYSTERY SOLVED -Ehie (our Parsons
little daughter: her first experiences of
''church." Aloud-wth intense surprise).
"'Pa, and all the dear little boys in their
nightgowns, going to bye-bye !! "
A PRovERB ON TEsr.-If all proverbs were
true, the civil war in Spain would afford
grounds for the hope of being paid to Spanish
bondholders. But it does not always happen
that, when rogues fall out, honest men come
by their own.
WHAT IT ENDS IN.--You have been staying
at o friends house for few days. You are
on the point of going away, and fud the SER
wants all on the tiptos of expectation. You
must be deeply gratiied by the great interest
they take in you personally, nvtona;.'y az ~
does to the tips OF your fingers.
A CASE FOR SIR RICHARD MAYNE.
Intellectual Creature-"No, it's utterly i'm
possible tor a fellah to stand this disgusting
weather. l feel as if all my bwains were going
to the dogs"
Lady-'Dear, dear Poor dogs"
READ On, Mr.. DEAN.-We applaud the in
genuity of the Dean of Cork in selecting for
the text of his sermon in behalf of the Irish
Church, the verse about o certain crew beck
oning to their partners in the other ship to
come and help them. But may we be allowed
to remember that their distress arose from
having vast quantity of fishes, of which
they would make no use, aud which threat
ened to sink them, and that "the other ship"
got into distress by helping. Some texts are
double-edged.
SUGGESTION BY SUFFERER.-Is the operator
disposed to be too talkatve when you sit
down to have your hair cutl AS he is sure to
ask how you wish it done, you can easily
give him hint by telling him to cut it short.
THE PUPPIES OF THE CHURcH.-Considerin
how dandified they are in the matter of their
yestments, the Ritualists may be regarded as
the puppies of the Church-fold, rather than
the sheep-dogs. Certainly as safeguards
aBdihnt tuo llOLllSh WOLNOoJ Ihoy aiO uatulC
to be trusted and if we may not call out
"Cdve Cdn,m'' in regard to them, we at least
may give the caution "Cave DTectorium Angli-
eanuDg %
POETRY AND PRosE,-Frederick and Amy
were watching the effect of the setting sun
upon the spire of Shanklin Church. Chow
beautiful" " was the fair girls remark, "to
see it tipped with gold % "Yes, darling"
said Frederick, 'like gamekeeper."
CONVERTED MUsKETs.-sThe Roman corres-
pondent of the Post says that the Papal
Infantry is badly armed, some of the Pope's
men having "old muslkets transformed at the
Vatican arsenal into breech. leaders," Con-
Verted muskets, then, are among the converts
10 POpery. Did st. Peter ever contemplate
this kind of conversions
AGRICULTURAL ECoNoMY.-The sages of the
British Association for the Advancement of
Science appear TO have overlooked q subject
which they may have been expected to discuss.
In the Economical Science Section no lecture
was delivered by any on skinning flint. Yet
the assembly that might have listened to such
an address perhaps comprised good many
Poor Law Guardians. 1t doubtless did contain
numerous 'squires and farmers who were
enraged by Canon Girdlestone's exposure oI
the condition of the agricultural laborer Both
ahey and the BUNDLES would have taken much
interest in discourse on divesting slex of in,
tegument, although they may little need any
instruction in that process.
Funiana.
GFoap ApuIcAI NoTR FvaFv oua lrnow,