Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1868-07-02

An Objectionable Plant--The Croke-us'
It is fire silk that knows no turning.
Practice ION the piano) makes perfect
An old maid is an odd boot--no use with
out fellow.
The true test ofman's temper is to keep
him waiting ten minutes for his diner.
How long does widow mourn for her
husband2 She mourns for a second.
Taken up for breaking and entering a
dwelling,house- Hail-stones.
It is asserted that a man with glass eyes
can't real eyes (realize) anything,
The Perfumer of the World-The center
of the earth.
Wanted for chemical purposes-A "lSdy
dissolved in tears"
Those who want the lowest earthly bless
ings. most regret that they want any.
habit is a cable We weave threads Of it
every day, and at last we cannot break it
No mon has as vet been able to ride a
clothes horse with the "spur of the mo-
ment."
81 wouldn't be so green" as the horse
chestnut said when it was asked to leave.
| tThe Courier, Lowell.
The Detroit Post says the treachery OF
the Illinois Senator is foul; but that OF tn
/ Tennessee Senator is Fowler.
Romantic Dear-"Oh, Frederick is it
not delightful to wauderin the quiet coun-
try and listen to the cuckoo's note?'
Frederick fwho has no soul for poetry,
"Oh-ah-yes! dare say it's all right,
only it reminds me of hiccups"
If you wouldn't have afflicition make
you second visit, listen TO its teachings
at the first
Why is selfish friend like the letter
Pr Because though first in pity, he is the
last in help,
The gentlest effort may put a wedding
ring upon the finger; thousand horse
power may not suffice to pull it off
A husband, on being told that his wife
had lost her temper, replied that he was
glad of it, for it was very bad one
The first evidence of a woman's inter
est in man is her mending his gloves,
apd the last working him pair OF slip
pers.
Question by a cynic-1f man you
have fought with is a brothsr.in- arms
why isn't a woman you are married to a
sister.inRrmsY
Aunt Betsy has said many good things.
Among the rest, that newspaper is like a
wife-because every man should have one
of his own.
An exchange says-There is something
sweet about little girls" The Louisville
journal adds And it grows on them as
they grow bigger"
A Frenchman, wishing to say ofa young
lady that she was as gentle as lamb, thus
expressed himself - "She be mooch tame
like the petite mutton"
'Mynhper. do you know for what we call
our boy HansR' Really I do not. ""Vell,
III tell yon; der reason we calls our 10y
Hans-dat ish his name"
IT is proposed to take down the sign
boards lookout foi the Engine" on the
Erie Railrrad, and substitute for them,
"Prepare to meet your Gop!"n.
1t is said that should Mr.. Home he al
lowed to retain Mrs Lyons money he
means to bestow it in charity. The char
ity that begins at HOme?-Puach'
"Boys, what is all this noise in school?"
"It's Bill Sykes initiating a locomotive" I"
"Come here, William, ii you have turned
to a locomotive, it's time you were switch
ed off,"
A teacher in school for young ladies,
Berlin has been discharged because he egave
az subject for essays, Sentiments and
feelings at the sight of an officer of cav
airy" H~
Mr.. Robinson thinks it conclusive evil
denee of drunkenness when he sees man
"sticking a postage stamp behind his left
ear an attempting to get into letter-box
to go by the mail train"
A little girl seven years old, was recent
! " called as a witness IN police court.
and in answer to qustion as to what be-
comes of little girls who tell ialsehoods,
she innocently replied that they were sent
to bed.
There are so many children in Indiana
named after Schuyler Oolfax that all the
stone cutters in the State keep grave stones
on hand carved, Sacred to the memory of
SCHUYLER Colfax-," ready to insert
the patronymic in the blank space when
the ordes is given after the funeral,
RECIPE FOR FINDING A HUSBAND.
More common sense and less wit.
More useful oecuphtion and less music.
More study ofthe Mysteries of the Kitch-
en- and less Of the Mysteries of Paris.
More mendingo of shirts and stockings
and less making of bracelets.
Less display Of toilets that appall the
purses of candidates for wedlock
More proof to men that they will find in
a wife a helpmeet and not an embaTass-
meut.
This recipe, if thoroughly tried, will
greatly lesson the number Of bachlors,