Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1868-06-18
g gleasing Story
II HI E
WOODEN WEDDING.

nuSuanu, as Sne handed MIN o cup oil coffee
across the breakfast-table, 1--WE arc not very
far from the oath of May"
j "Well, what of it ?" inquired Mr.. Honey.
bell, who had the morning paper in one hand
and piece of hot, buttered toast in the
other, and who was, as general thing,
rather uncommunicatiye at meal tlmes
"Oh, Charles you really have no sensi-
bility!" returned the partner of his affec-
tons. "rhe 9th will be the fifth annyer-
sary Of our marriage. Our wooden we'd
ding, Charles
"Wooden sohdts" inquired Mr.. Honey
bell, laying down his paper; sis the woman
crazy2" And Horace Honeybel, a cousin
Of the family, who had just returned from
California, dropped his knife and fork in
utter amazement as he exclaimed, "a
wooden weddihgl What under heavens
may that bel"
"It is not strange, Horace, that you, who
have just come home from tl,at distant re-
gion, should know but little of what is going
on here, }" said Mrs. Honeybell, with dignity.
"But my husband, whom do my best to
keep an c0urant of the news and fashions
of the day, really seems TO care no more
about them than ii he was wild Indian"
"Not so much" said Mr.. IIoncybcll, break
ing an egg with reckless air.
"Not so much, repeated his wife, impress
sively. II am sure when Horace gcisa wife
he will never trifle with her feelings as you
lp with tnina Mr. Hnnayb.,llIb
Horace thought he saw the lowering of
matrimonial storm, and with the kind inten-
tion Of averting it, observed.
"But oil this time, dear cousin, you have
not explained to MS what wooden wedding
really is.'
"a wooden wedding sweeily replied
Mrs. Honeybell, sis graceful manner,
Horace, of marking 10 an agreeable way the
otherwise gloomy flight of years. The fifth
anniversary of a marriage is called the wood
en- wedding, the tenth the tin wedding, the
twenty-fiflh The silver wedding, and the tif-
tieth the golden wedding"
"A pack of nonsense as ever l heard, in
terrupled MIR. Honeywell. And pray what
is the good of all these weddings?"
"The friends of the happy pair" senti-
mentally continued Mrs Honeybell, ION be-
ing informed of the occasion, which they
wish to honor, gather at the house and pre-
sent, as tokens of goodwill, elegant gifts
either of wood, tin, silver, or gold, accord
ing to the particular anniversary"
"A regular speculation, by Jove!' cried
MIR. Honeywell. Haven't you left out some
other weddings china, glass, or brass, ell
Don't he backward in coming forward, or
lose any hing for want of asking. l would
not If were you"
And Mr.. Honcybell indulged in long
and rather contemptuous fit of laughter.
"When you have silenced your heartless
mirth, said his wife, IL will proceed with
what have to say. AS have received
many invitations since my marriage, am
now resolved to return them handsomely, on
the occasion of our wooden wedding, by
giving large party ON the 9th of May next.
There will he an excellent supper, we shall
receive the congratulations of our friends,
and their gifts, which will all lc of wood,
but may consist either OF simple domestic
articles, or superb carved and ornamented
objects of great value"
$ In short, all kinds and descriptions of
presents will be thankfully received" re-
turned Honeybell. ''By-the-way, | can
suggest some valuable ones myself that are
recommended Ill Scripturc-'a whip for the
horse, bride for the ass, and rod for The
FOOLS back Pray, am expected to con-
tribute anything in the way of black mail
myself"
Now Mrs. Honeybcll had never heard of
the Highland caterans, and their depreda-
tions in the olden time, and bridling, she
replied, 81 expect to have ut least two col
ored walters. II you think shal invite
two or three hundred people without suita-
BILE attendance you don't know my charac-
ter, Mr.. Honeybel.
"Wcll, all can say" returned that gen
tleman, sis, that denounce the whole sys-
tenn as one of social extorllon and humbug
and / should not be surprised ii you lost
more than you gained by the operation.
However, take your own way, Mary Jane.
And Mr.. Honeywell and his cousin having
finished breakfast, buttoned their coats en-
crgelically. and went down town to bust
ness.
In the course of the next week the three
hundred friends of the Honeybell family each
received an immense card in a very large en-
velopc, bearing giant crimson IL on the
seal. On examination the card was found
to carry in letters one inch long tho words,
"Wooden Wedding, Mr.. and Mrs. Charles
Honeybell at home on Tuesday evening,
May 24th, from s until II O'clock"
"Hoity-toity!" cried Mrs. Honeybell.s s
rich old maiden aunt, Miss Flintsme.
"What's Mary Jane about now: Wooden
wedaing-hey2 So, after giving her bridal
presents once, ! am asked to supply another
set, am People are getting very saucy,
think, with their wooden weddings and
stuff What am to give her, Susan Maiia2
"Oh, any thing, aunt. Only it must be of
wood, you know"
II consider it a piece of impudence to send
me that card. The cheapest thing can give
| q
they have raised in price since the war;
said Miss Flintsure, maliciously.
''Oh, dear aunt, you surely would not give
such very mean present to Mary Jane.
, Do buy her something larger"
"Larger, hey?" said the old women.
swell, what do you think of u step-ladder?"
, And, with vicious look in her eyes, Miss
, Flintsurc slammed the street. door after her,
0 and set forth to buy something for the ap-
preaching solemnity.
$50 Honeybell is going to have wooden
,. wedding is he 2" said Mr.. Woggles, his op-
' poste neighbor, and invetcrate rival.
"Why, yes, MIR. Woggles and suppose
;. you will have to give something even if you
+ don't CO." replied the wife of his bosom, with
n due regard to public opinion.
d "The deuce take Honeybell and his we'd
ding both" said MIR. Woggles. ssHow is he