Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1868-04-21

a Berkshire paper says that fellow in
that vicinity went counting his girl on Mon
day evening, and wishing to be convversa~
tional, observed 'TllE tbermomokron is
twenty degrees below zeIon this evenin''-
YES" innocently replied the maiden, '.such
kind Of birds do Gy higher some seasons Of
the year than others"
-"Can I bid. Mister?" roarcd out a
country looking individual at a recent auction
in Boston. ''Certainly you can" replied the
auctioneer, with n gracious bow; ''any one
can bid that wants to-" "Well, SIR proudly
replied the fellow, '.then bid you good night"
and pushed his way out into the street.
"A child Of FIVE years having seen her
father for the first time, he having been alb
sent in California, was much astonished that
he should claim any authority over her, and
on an occasion Of rebellion as he admins
tered punishment. she cried out, II wish you
had never married into our family"
A New Orleans jury declared man to
have come to his death By an unknown cart"
About on par with this is the Philadelphia
crushed to death by a mill, when the jury re-
marked, "No blame Gag be attached to the
machinery"
~ bSliidu III I)OSlOn, married ~ or
wegian bride lately. He knows no word of
the dialect of his wife, and she knows moth
ing Of his. There is j chance for peace in
that family for while at ali events.
"A wag short time since imposed upon
the editor of the Princeton Republican the
fifth chapter OF Matthew as an original arti-
Gle, and its origin was not discovered until
the proof,sheet was read.
- Mrs. Darlington has been reading the
health officers weekly reports, and thinks
that Total must be an awful malignant dis
ease, since as many die Of it as all the rest
put together.
II hope, my little daughter" said one
morning, that you will he able to control
your little temper today" "Yes, mama :;
and hope you will be able to control your
big temper"
Bachelor at Break fast-Dcar me, Susan
that's very small egg !-Susan-Yes sir it
:s-but it was only laid this MORNING, sir !!
One preacher in Newberg said to another:
81 came near selling my boots to. day" s'Ah!
how was that Z" 20, had them half soled."
He whose first emotion, on the view of
an excellent production, is to undervalue it,
will never have one Of his own to show.
A Connecticut infant was so fortunate
as to be born with three noses. Would do
for Congressional smelling Committee,
Wicked men stumble over straws in the
way to heaven, but climb over hills in the
way to destruction.
Why is loafcr in n newspaper Office
like q shade tree? Because we arc glad
when he leaves.
A Western paper calls a rival editor Gan
animated spare rib with some of the brstles
attached"
-"Arc you coming?" said the throat to
the oyster. I'm on the point of it," NUT
tered the oyster to the fork.
Suspension bridges are better than sus-
pension banks. There is good deal of "wire
work" about both.
A girl with bringing laugh" caused
an alarm of fire in Peoria. They took her
for belle
Matches misery has been defined to be
TO have cigar and nothing to light it with.
Tho dandy who makes the greatest -four
ish isn't always in hOurishing condition.
- United Briggs to Miss Ann
Carr. The briggs anchor is now secure.
Why is hundred dollar bill like flag
pole? because it's hard to raise.
Why arc Odd Fellows like sausages
Because they are linked together.
What State is high in the middle and
round at both ends Ohio
- What can you not name without break
ing il Silence.
"A skillful pickpocket always takes things
easy.
IT earn the value OF money, try to bor-