The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-07-19

marriage should take place, you will abstain
from smoking without my permission, | will
revoke my refusal Of consent to your engage
| Inent with Amy
al bound myself by word of honor that it
| should be so, and my engagement dated from
| that moment. He had certainly paid me on tor
| fumigating him in the railway carriage with
vengeance. hoped from his saying that was
| not TO smoke without his consent that be would
| occasionally give me permission to do So but
| not Whit, though l did hint 10 him on several
| subsequent occasions that / believed my dges.
tive organs were becoming impaired by the want
| Of the weed.
From that day to this have never held pipe
or cigar between my lips; and this occurred two
months ago. Amy sympathizes with me entirely,
and, when we are married, we intend to set our
wits to work to devise some means of circum-
venting the old man. l intend 10 make him re-
move bis embargo as soon as | can; but OF
course no attempt can be made until the we'd
ding is over; that event, by the by, | expect
will take place in about four months from the
present time.
"Now what do you think of my fsther.inlaw
elect. Il be not an old curmudgeon!"
We were unanimous in crying shame on the old
man, who had cherished an old sore, of his own
causing, for three years, and then adopted this
mean way of being revenged. We assured poor
Tom Allen, who sat looking very glum, that he
possessed all our sympathy, and told HIM that we
had no doubt some plan could be cOncocted be.
tween US for making old Harris revoke his de-
cisiOn.
BY the time that Tom Allen had finished his
story it was getting rather late so party
broke up, each member Of it proceeding to his
own abode. / saw Tom Allen frequently after
this evening, up TO the time of his marriage. and
on every occasion inquired whether his future
father in law opinion had undergone any change;
but the answer was always in the negative; old
harris remained obdurate. Tom always said,
" But never mind; wait till we're married; I'll be
even with him theD.n
Aliens period of total abstinence from tobacco
previous 70 his marriage continued for about seVen
months, and then, on taking up the ewspaper one
day, saw the announcement of his union with Miss
Harris. Poor Tom," thought, 81 wonder il he's
had pipe yet" Then began TO wonder whether
be would succeed in his endeavOr TO overcome
his fatber-inlaw's scruples. | was inclined to
think that be would for Allen was a man Of in
domitable energy, and usually succeeded in any
matter he took in hand.
=" saw no more of Tom Allen during the next
three months, for business had detained me out of
town, when one day, as | was passing up Regent
street, whom should see but Master Tom saun-
tering quietly down the street. and, wonder of
wonders, between his lips he held q huge Havana.
He had prevailed with Mr.. Harris then, and was
free 10 smoke when he chose.
"'Ah, Howard, old boy he said, glad to see
you so long since we've met, when we consider
we Used to see each other two or three times a
week. You see I've beaten the old man-smoke
fifty cigars day if like"
81 congratulated him on the fact, and inquired
what means he had employed for the purpose Of
bringing his fathern-law to reason.
- Oh he said, Il can't tell you out here, and,
10 tell you the truth am rather in a hurry at the
present moment. have to meet Amy at a shop 10
Piccadiy, and Pm afraid Pm rather behind time
as il Is but il you have no better engagement for
town. and will favor US with your company at din
ner at six O'Clock, we shall be delighted TO see
you, and I'll explain how brought the father-in.
law round TO my way OF thinking"
l promised TO come on the following day, and
we parted.
Accordingly, at the appointed time presented
myself at Aliens door. was much pleased with
his wife, a most hospitabe, pleasant little body
and felt myself at home with her at once. con-
sidered Tom had not paid too dearly for the privi-
ege of ceiling her his wife, especially that he
at liberty again TO smoke as hard as he liked.
She gave excellent dinner, TO which we did
full Justice and as soon as the cloth had been re-
moved, and she had left Us to ourselves, l re.
minded Tom of his promise to inform me of the
means he had used for obtaining Mr.. Harris's con-
sent TO smoke.
He laughed and rang the bell. A boy 10 buttons
came in answer to 1t, to whom my host gave
some instructions in a tone that was too low to
reach my ears. In few minutes Mr. Buttons
returned, bearing in his hand a metal article that
seemed TO me to be cross between pair of
bellows and waterng-pot. BY his masters in
structions, the boy placed this curious looking
machine on the table in front of US, and then
left the room.
regarded it for a few moments steadily, but
could not make out what it was; | noticed a
handle on side of il, so that IL was evidently
q TotatorY machine of some description.
What in the name of all that's mysterious is
that!" asked.
That, my friend" replied Tom, ais the in
strument OF torture by means Of which [ was en-
abled to cause my respected father-in law to re-
gard smoking in 8 more favorable light than he
had hitherto DONE" He then proceeded to speak
as follows:
AS soon as our honeymoon was over, Amy
and / set our wits to work to hit upon plan for
bringing her father TO reason, and, after long
consultation, decided upon course which we
thought would have the desired effect. Amy,
therefore, wrote to Mr.. Harris to ask him to
spend few weeks with US, Che is a widower,
by the by,) TO which request be graciously ac-
ceded. The day before his arrival / bought that
machine which l see you regarding with
such wonder. 1t is a fumigator for the purpose of
iumigstug plants with tobacco, with view to
destroying little insects which frequently cOngre.
gate upon them. ! also purchased several pounds
of the strongest tobacco | could lay my hands
upon. then set the boy to work at the machine
IN every room of the house, so that the smoke be-
came so dense that il was actually diff cult for US
10 zee one another. The consequence was, that on
the day of Mr.. Harris arrived there was a most
sickening stencil of stale tObacco-smoke psrvsd-
ing the house. had told the boy 20 give the bed.
room intended for Mr.. Harris double dose, which
be did. AS soon as the old gentleman set foot in
the hall he began to sniff vigorously; then he
turned upon me a most whitening look, as much
Is to imply that had broken my word to him. He
did not say any thing TO me, however and shortly
afterwards left him alone with Amy. Directly |
| had quilted the room. she told me he had |
accused me Of having broken my word in |
regard 10 the smoking. She positively |
stated that l had never had q pipe or cigar
IN my mouth since the day of my marriage,
aud affected not to perceive the unpleasant odor
pervadiDg the house.
81 had given the boy his Instructions. so when
rang the bell after dinner he entered the room
with The fumigstor ready TOR action.
"'What on earth is that thing ?'asked my father
n-law.
an fumigstor," replied. al must apologize
to you. my dear sir for having to make use of this
machine but the fact is that finding my digestion |
much weakened from not smoking after dinner, |
have been compelled to adopt this substitute, |
am happy to say, with the most fortunate results,
for much prefer il TO smoking and find its effects
much more eficacious. l hope il will not cause
you any annoyance" Without regarding his look
Of astoDishnent, then, with the utmost gravity,
set light to the tobacco, and proceeded to tura
the handle Of the machine. Volumes of smoke
instantly began TO issue from the sDout