The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-06-19
Our First BABY.


there ever such baby since the world
began Only look at the wonderful
little red face! all puckered and twis-
ted and twisted and wrinkled, looking
first like head of magenta colored cab
bage IA startling contrast to the smoth-
ering quantity of laces, frills, tucks,
and puffs in which the little highly
tinted wonder is arrayed. Its little
head is not looking exactly "careless
and happy" but decidedly hairless and
cappy andlike the proverbial Irish roll of
butter which had "only here and there
hair" If there is one point on which
the "ma" is touchy it is concerning
baby's hair, so the least said about cam
ary colored down the better.
Our first baby! Heaven bless the lit
tie red lump; what dear little nose it
has-not bit bigger than a good sized
wart! and such eyes--oh, such eyes
"beautiful eyes," mamma says, but in
reality the "twin beauties" generally
look like pair of badly worked but
ton holes, for fresh babies seldom in
cline to open their "peepers" wide
enough to let any one see whether they
are green or yellow. All babies look
ike to most men, though woman have
a peculiar talent for distinguishing be-
tween them. Babies are generally sup
posed to resemble either of the parents,
though l must conscientiously say that
| never could see any great likeness to
either one in the little pursed up phiz
presented for inspection. The common
| expression of countenance would indi-
cate that "baby" had been sucking a
large size pickle, and didn't like it
| much, either.
When the first infant comes, its "pa"
has to take a back seat. The newly in
vested "ma" has no time to waste
in caresses on anything else, and in fact
pa is looked upon as sort of intruder If
he presents his bill for kiss now and
then. He does not come in for the at
tention of departed days, for "ma" has
positively no time for such nonsense
now. She has to see to the making of
pap" the rolling of crackers and the
administering of Mrs. Winslow's Sooth
ing Syrup.
Poor Pa altho ugh he is as proud as
II peacock, still he inwardly kicks
against this usurpatiOn of his rights,
and though he sinks into nonenity on
the arrival of the first born, and tries to
bear it like hero, il takes long time
to get used to it.
For instance, he rushes home filled
with desire to attend Shake-your
hoofs party. He says, "Susan my
dear, Mrs. 5. gives German tonight
let us gop''
But Susan can't see it. She looks n
him sifhe had been guilty fcannibal
ism, and with the air Of an injured wo
man, says:
"And leave Henry Augusta Ciesa1
Jenkinson Leave our first baby :?
Oh how can you, Charles William
think of such thing, when the baby
has had such time to get those from
teeth, too? Oh, you cruel, cruel parent
you are not fiji to be the father of sucl
an angel"
a terrible torrent of tears comes in a
this point, and Charles William, the
miserable parent withers into nothi ng
In fact, there is no denying, tina
the first baby walks into the ailec
ton (tiguratively speaking) of the hith
erto devoted wife, and husbands arr
obliged to go out in the cold, and dis
cuss the relative parts of "swill milk,
"one cows milk" ''skim milk" etc
He finds peculiar charm in readin,
all the almanacs of the year that trea
of "remedy for collie" infants teething
chicken-pox nursing sore mouth, meas
, les, otc. And though the urchin won
, wear shoes for months to come, Pa dai
, ly examines his toes and longs for tn
, time to come when he can encase tn
little crooks in caliskiu. Well, let tn
happy parents enjoy themselves owe
: " first babies" But while lovin
and tending the little lump, beg of il
| happy mother not to forget that Will
she is devoting herself to "our baby,
! she must not neglect to give stray
| loving word or tender caress to its haI
f py father. Faithfully Yours
Ross RAYLAND.