The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1868-10-15
The Josh Billings Papers.
FOUNDLINGS.

lie that will foller good advice,
IL a greater man than he that gives
it.
Itiz human to err, devlish to
trag on it.
Blessed il he who has a big pile
and knows how tew spread it.
The minds of young are easily
trained; j; il hard TO get an old
hop vine to ioller o new pole.
l don't banker after bad luck,
but | had rather run the risk of it
than trust too much to the proies.
sions of men.
Just in proportion ez man iz
thankful to heaven and hiz nabor,
Just in that proportion he IL hap
py.
1t il q dreadful fine thing 10
whip young ejusl enough, and
not eny more | take it that the
spot IL located jist where their
pride ends and their mgd begins.
Blessed is them that has no eye
for key hole nor no car for a knct
hole.
A man should learn to be q good
servant to himself before be iz fit
t. boss others.
The more exalted our stashun, the
more CONSPICUOUS our virtcws, just
as rich setting adds 10 the bill
Iiancy of n jewel.
Blessed are the single for they
can double at leisure.
II you want to learn a child to
steal oats by the bundle make him
beg ov you every thing you give
him.
There is nothing SO diffikult for
the best ov US as TO git the approx
al ov our own consciences.
Blessed il he that can pocket
abuse and feal that it is no disgrace
to be bit by dog.
Punishments, tcw hit the spot,
should be few but red hot.
Happiness consists in being per-
fectIy satisfied with what We have
got. and what we han't got.
We arc told that riches take
wings and flies QUITO sight, and l
have known them to take tho pro-
prietor along with them.
Blessed is the man who kan
eat hash with a clear conscience,
for his heart must be full of pity.
| have seen those who are az full
ov all sorts Nv learning az the
heavens are of wind; they are jest
the thing to cut into weather
cocks.
If q man is thoroughly satisfied
with himself he will be we'll satisfi
ed with everybody else.
blessed are the meek and lowly,'
(and very lucky too if they don't
get their ncse pulled.)
If death is an evil, birth Is q
greater one.
One of the fussye est scenes | ever
listened to was two old maids
waiting on one sick bachelor.
If we take all the hard shedding
ov this life, and make it four times
az mutcb, it won't amount tew the
affections that mer pile ontew each
other.
think every man and woman
on earth ought tew wear on their
hat band these words in large lot,
ters: "Lead US not into temptashun. "
l never knew anybody to get
stung by hornets, who kept away
from where they wait IL just so
with bad luck.
Blessed il he that has q good wife
and knows how tew sail her.
The true definition of q luxury IL
something that another feller hant
got the stamps to buy.
Blessed IL he who allus carrys
a big stone in his hand, but never
heavs her. l.l.-l't
Pismires on level are only in
significant, but when they git up
on end and begin TO strut on 2 legs
they are permanently ridiklous'
i never read the comick papers,
dear Jessie, emmy moro than | would
eat rye bread when an away from
home.
You kan Judge mans religion
vory well by heerin him talk, but
kyou kant Judge Of his picty by
what he sez emmy more than you
kan Judge ov his amount ov linen
by the stick out ov his collar aad
wristbands.