Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-09-21
lFrom the W eekly Northwest.l
GrandiloquenI Speech of Govern
or Hayes.
ESPECIALLY RKPoRrED.

FELLOW CITIZENS IL feel-[here he was
Interrupted by some one desiring him to
mount the Judges bench so that he could
be seen.] Although prefer to speak from
where L am, yet / am much f1Attered to
know that my good looks are duly appre-
ciated. He mounts the bencb.] Fellow
citizens, Or, as my position suggests, gen.
tlemen of the jury feel like congratula
ting. Takes a drink of water. L have
addressed larger and more tumultuous7
audiences than this, yet I congratulate
you. l congratulate you that you have a
band of-music. [Another drink.] L
congratulate you that you've got one of
the best glee clubs in the State. Looks
celestially at the club, and waters again ]
congratulate you that Grant is the nomi-
nee of our party. Great kicking. Foulk
and another old woman looked very hys-
terical.
90 rTlN NOMINEES. -sifaTi ii
And why should not Grant be President
rather than Seymour? p Because Grant has
no policy, and no uetO, and Seymour has
both. That's the reason! But let US not
talk about persons-let us discuss princi-
piles. Seymour is no statesman. Let us
come down to the facts. Craftsmanship
means economy; but if you want economy
will you go to the Belmont ring? No, you
will go to Grant. who, when he could just
get his legs apart, rode a horse before
plow! You would go to Grant, who would
seldom be known in camp were it not for
sensation.] There's economy There's
craftsmanship Seymour and his wife
were born with gold spoons in their
mouths. Does that look like economy or
craftsmanship? don't say it don't, but
give the fact for what it is worth.
PROPHETIC. 's-.-
Although I may be mistaken, yet pre-
dict that Grant will be surely elected.
TAXATION. n. -tr
There is much talk about taxation. Why,
it is not the Government that taxes you. 1t
is yourselves by using those things that the
Government taxes. If you don't use them
you won't have to pay tax. Don't you seer
Take, for example, tobacco. If you use it
need it, as half this audience [another celes-
tial glance at the hysterical department.
proves. [Great sensation in the club. The
gushing young lady, whose fingers presid-
ed at the melodeon, but whose eyes presid-
ed at the audience, nearly swallowed two
fans.l But not to tire your patience, let us
proceed to something else.
NEW YORK CONVENTION. ea
1 know all about it, and more too. You,
Democrats, think that you nominated Pen
dleton, but you didn't. Ton nominated Sen
customed to tell. PortentiOus signs of
coming laughter on the hairy gobs of Hun
key Corey and Cotton Mather.] There
were once two men who got so drunk that
they had to call upon one of their wives to
establish their identity! [Uproarious hill
arity, intensified-by few most expressive
grins from the Signal, which was most
becomingly squatted on the floor with its
knees in air, and its head and hands be-
tween them Now, don't talk to me
any more about the New York Oonyen-
tion. -..
RECONSTRUCTION.
This is the real question. All the other
questions l have been discussing are moth
ton, all 1 have to say is, that the South
must do what the North prescribes, and
then it will be properly reconstructed.
..-..,..e. CONCLUSION.
1t seems that Providence always fur
nishes man fitted for the times. That nan
is Grant-a man whose distinguishing et o.
nomical characteristic is the smoking of a
taxed Gig ara man who rode horse before
he could scarcely straddle one-the man
who is the greatest warrior the world ever
saw, does see or will see-a man who sings
the angelic song ''Glory to God in the high
est" &c.,-a man who, in the midst OF tur-
mOil and anarchy, cries peace III! Iude-
scribable sensation. Six old women faint.
Nothing visible of the Signal but its knees.
Hunkey Corey and Cotton Mather hug
Hayes. General collapse and down-stair
.g l,-.l., -,,1 rf., CLIP.