The Montana post., 1868-10-02
WONDERPUL ATTEMPT AT As
SASSINATION.

We have heard of Pandora's Box,
CinderelIa's slipper. hundred handed
and fifty headed Briareus, and Aladln's
lamp, of Simms' excavation, Siamese
twins and FIVE legged calves. but never,
until we read last evenings Uerald.
have we heard of such wonderful and
hair~brcadth escape from the use OF
1.-TWO revolvers," one held in each hand
by the traditional ''nigger in tie wood
pile" fired with surprising rapidity" on
the same line, intending TO kill both
persons fired at" said persons being a
couple of Captains who had been hold
ing a momentous half-hOur consultation
over one of those weighty (0 articles
which find place in the columns Of the
Herald All this at ten o'clock on
Wednesday night last. The friendly
warnings OF citizens, the kind intima-
tions of neighbors passed ali unheeded.
These two individuals stood courage
ously upon the door step, at a residence
on Rodney street, not six PAGES from a
wood pile. at 10 o'clock at night. In
low tones they were cunningly talking
of that article which they
had been preparing" an article
which appeared in last nights paper
and which was not entitled Trouble in
Alaska" for that was copied verbatim
from dispatches. aud was published in
the PosT a week ago; it was not The
FAIR Grounds for the visit upon which
that was based took place the next
morning. il must then have been the
only remaining editorial, "a Close
Call, which by the agency of the won
derfully prophetic abilities of the almost
assassinated aspirants to notoriety had
been prepared before the events upon
which it is said to have been
based, transpired. They lickled
themselves that the assassination
dodge was good one. All other expe-
dients for the purpose of obtaining the
public sympathies had been resorted to
and failed. This scheme certainly would
not play them false, and they would at
once be placed in the position of martyrs
before the pnblic- Stuart placed his
head close to tha; of Fisk, and the two
giggled in concert at the game. The
fatal moment arrived. Stuart drew his
Smith & Weston and removed his hat,
the rim of which he straight>
way sent '1eaden messenger of DEATH
inflicting serious wound
In the corner of the kitchen. The
neighbors heard the shots and hastened
to the spot, but the would-be-assassin
had escaped" in the confusion He
has not since been discovered, although
il is generally understood that the afore-
said ''nigger in the wood pile" was none
other than the would-be-martyrs, now
begging for sympathy. The idea that
anyone should perpetrate so fearful !
waste of powder as to fire upon the puer- |
lie firm of Fisk < Stuart is absurd. |
The shooting of "brindle sows" is bad 4
enough, but when we are asked to be- ,
lieve this last story, it is asking of
human credulity too much The truth I
is, the two Captains simply played, upon
that evermore historic doorstep the side /
splitting farce, Your Life's in Danger"
and with such success that the whole /
town is laughing at it. We would sug- /
sest an improvement in the details of .
the play at its next production. The
cannon which has so long been Elanted
beside the Herald building FOR the pro-
lection of the Fisk outfit might be
brought into requisition, and Stuart be
thereby enabled to blow the whole
crown OF his hat of, and thus i'm
nensely increase the effect of the play.
rhe ball would also be much easier TO
ind than a pistol bullet, and would
make a much greater show when held
ip TO the gaze OF the public. We hope
his new comedy company may long
i've to entertain the community. Its
members are so Insignificant as to be
the fear of even their worst
enemies, and all wish that their years
If life may be as numerous as their
alsehoods, that they may thus be found
till above ground at the sounding of
he last trump, and while bent down
With age, bubble up and fry in the
arthlY hell of their own creation.