Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1868-01-10
Scandal.

ems, were much gwen 10 eltner iell
or hear some new thing" lived Squire
P, facetlous, good natured sort of
body, whose jokes are even yet mat
ter of village record, and have been
retold through various editions, from
folio down to duodecimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snipe's
wife's sister-a maiden lady of about
went to all the meetings
kept an account of every birth, death,
marriage, with their dates-doctored
all the babies, ,and knew every yard in
the neighborhood-s h wed all the
young married women in the place
how to make soap. and when they had
bad luck, made every child III the
house sit cross legged until the luck
changed. In fact she was sort of
village factotum-spent her time in
going from house to honso, srindiug
out to each, as occasion required, but
always concluded with 9" the way OF
the transgressor is hard ;" "poor Mrs.
A or B, (as the case was) | pity her
from the bottom of my heart" or such
soothing reflection. Aunt Lizzie was
always fond of strangers and others,
without regard to time or place, and
asked the state of their minds; how
they enjoyed their mind, &c. These
questions were generally followed by
string of scandal, which was calcula,
ted to destroy the peace and happi-
ness of her best neighbors and friends
But she, like other narrators of this
kind, considered such intellectual mur-
der as either establishing her own fair
reputation, or as the only mode of en-.
tertaining the village, and thereby
rendering her society agreeable.
One warm summers afternoon, as
the Squire was sitting near his office
door smoking his pipe, Aunt Lizzy
was passing by with great speed, ru-
minating on the news of the day, when
the Squire brought her suddenly to,
as the sailors say, by
What's your hurry, Aunt Lizzy ?
Walk in"
The old lady, who never wanted a
second invitation, went into the Office,
when the following dialogue soon COM
menced:
Well, Squire P, have been think
ing this forenoon what a useful man
you might be, if you'd only leave off
your light conversation, as the good
book says, and become serious man
you might be an ornament to church
aud STATE, as our minister saws"
Why, as to that, Aunt Lizzy, a
cheerful oountenance | consider as
the best index of a grateful heart,
and you know what the Bible says on
the su6ject-'When ye fast, be not as
hypocrites of a sad countenance but
annoint thy head and wash thy face
Aunt Lizzy began to look for her
pocket handkerchief, for she took
snuff that thou not appear unto men
to fast "
"Now, there, Squire, that's just
what | told you; see how you have
the Scripture at your tongues end
what useful man you'd be to our
church, if you'd only be a doer as
well as hearer Of the word"
GAS to that, Aunt Lizzy, [ don't
see that your professors, as you call
them are whit better than | am in
private. | respect sincere professor
as much as any man; but | know
enough Of one of your church, whom
you think a great deal of, to know
that she is no better than she should
be-"
At these inuendoes Aunt Lizzy' s
black eyes began to twinkle; she sat
down beside the Squire in order to
speak In a lower tone-spread her
handkerchief over her lap, and began
to tap the cover of her snuff box il
true style, and all things being in read.
mess for regular seige OF scandal
um magnatum," she commenced fire.
"Now, Squire, want to know what
you mean 10y one of our church.
know what you mean, the trollope. ]
didn't like so many curls about her
head when she told her experience"
The Squire, finding that curiosity
was putting his boots on, had no oc
casion to add spurs to the heels, for
the old lady had one in her head thai
was worth both of them. According
ly he had no peace until he had con
sented to explain what he meant by
the expression "in private" Thic
was dear word with Aunt Lizzy.
Now. Aunt Llzzy, will you take q
Bible oath that yoa will never com
municate what | am about to tell you
to living being, and that you viii
keep it while you live as a most invi
olable secret 2" a
"Yes, Squire, I declare I wont nev
er tell nobody nothing about it as long
as | breathe the breath of life; anc
I'll take a Bible oath on it; there
sartin as | live, Squire, before you OF
any other magistrate in the whole
country"
"Well, then, you know when l went
to Boston year ago."
Yes, yes, Squire, and | know who
went with you, too-Susey B, and Dol
Ily T., and her sister Prudence"
"Never mind who went with me
Aunt Lizzy there were a whole To-
of passengers-but-"
"None of your butts, Squire, ou
with it; if folks will act so-a troll
LOPEZ
(" But, Aunt Lizzy, I'm afraid you'll