Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-07-04


u uproar. Every cuss in the convenshun
wanted to be delegate immejity, and the
result wuz, the entire biliD come to blows.
| he'd the mortifcasben Nv seed Bascum
with his fingers cutched in the necktie Nv
the venerable Pogram, Isaaker Gavitt and
McPelter wuz similarly engaged, while
| wuz doin my level best to restrain Podhan..
mer from massacreein me. Had not Joe
| Bigler ana Pollock arrived opportooply,
| then entire Democrisy Nv the Corners wood
have bin wiped out on the spot.
1t wuz finally settled by thrown dice for
it, wich roo ought, by the way, to be adopt
ed by all Democratic bodies everywhere.
Randall and Mccullough hev practist it
| with distinguished success in making their
appointments. Say ther are twenty appli-
| cants, or, to get neerer trooth, three hun
dred, for airy given place. Very good. The
head of the Department ascertaips first eff
they are all Dimoorats. Then three hundred
CLERKS are detailed, each clerk representa- a
applicant and they throw dice, the lowest
retirin every throw, ontil one is victorious,
and the man represented by him gifts the
place. II saves vast amount OF labor. in
| the eggsam!nashun Nv certfikits Nv carakter
and i,nis, &c; and besides, its imparshel.
| All the appointments are now made in that
way at Washinton.
We adoptid this device, and I wuz made
delegate and Pogram alternate, the agree
ment being that whatever we got over ex-
penses wuz to he divided ekal'y. Then a
holy calm succeeded the storm Nv pashcn
wich he'd ragged. We go, Nv coorse, urin-
structed, for obvus reasons. Ef we wuz in
structed wher wood he the objk Nv our
goin 1t is not sich that Belmont will go
fur.
The uncertainty Nv the result Nv the con-
veushen U say uncertainty, for who kin tell
wich candidate hez the most money y hes
occasioned me a vast amount nv trouble. /
hev bin lal OriG assdy0usly to git our peo
pie into Il fame Nv mind to he enthusiastic
over the nominee, no matter who 1t is, or
wat platform he is put onto. To bring this
about hev he'd em in front Nv Bascom's
every mite for week trainin Nv EN-. |
ranged them in row and takin my posishen
in front, give the word like a meishv offser.
"At,enshen !" sez I. "Itor for Chase and
Morrisey Togetherw
"Ror for Cha" but ther they broke
down.
"Parson Z" sed Deekin Program, 81 cant,
Give me week or two to practis alone by
myself and possibly kin make it. The
spirits is wiIlin but the flesh is week"
Isaaker Gavitt pertestid. II kin" sed he
| PosSioiy go SNase out sposu they Pul
Sumner on the tikkit with him? Sumner
won't GO"
at won't do" sed I. sternly, "Ror for
Chase and Ameriky for wife men!"
"ROr !"
"'Ror for Chase, Brick Pomeroy, and eka
suffrage"
"Ror" shouted they commercially
"'Ror for Chase, A. johnson and Mayor
Monroe
"'Ror |"
"'kor for Chase and Repudiashen ~
"Will that be the slogan if Chase is nom
mated 2' asks the Deekin.
at will-down here. 'Ror."
"'Ror" yelled they all.
"Ror for Chase, Fernando Wood, and
death to niggers."
"Ifnr 2"
"Ror for Chase and Fred Douglass"
"Ror ~
'"Ror for Chase, Pendleton and no taxa
shen for IA unconstooshnel debt !"
"Ror ~
"Ror for Chase, Hancock and restorasher
on our plan"
"'Ror !"
"Ror for Hendricks, Chase and genera
amnesty -
"'Ror !"
"Very good u sed encouragingly. "Very
good, yoOr heXibility is more SO than
spOsed. Remember, my brethern eff Chase
does stick iu yoor throatsAt the beginnin
that the Chase yoor hollerin for aint the
Chase yoo yoost to d-n Remember that
that partikeler Chase died some time since
He went ont and heZn't bin heerd Nv since
He wuz metamorophosed like grub. He
shed his Ablishinism and the noshens wicl
impeled 500 to hate him, and ez he come
to us, he is Nv us. We hev bin recrooted in
tina. way for some time, Ther aint but one
Presidency, halleloogy, and we're tollably
certin to git, sooner or later, all them who
git ther eye fixed on that place, but are on
able to put any other part of ther bodies
ther. Let us watch and pray. Exercise
daily on all these candidates and all these
platforms for the good Lord who alon for
knows the decisions of petit jury, only
knows wich NV ep we shall be compelled
ko hooray for. Let us accustom ourselves
to all, that We may enthuse at the beginning
and strike terror to the harts Nv our foes.
tAnd d:smist EN- with my blessin.
to wunst went home and burned all m,
old speeches and sermons on the niger
destroyed remorselessly all the banners ant
motoes which he'd any reference to tn,
Ethiopian, and otherwise cleared the deck,
for acshen. We may have to so into thu
fte with Chase and niger suffrage. l wan
to commence early, so ez to get niggerphoby
completely out Nv my system. Its ruthe
renchin in these political gymnastics, but
am ekal to this or any other emergency.
PETROLEUM V. Massey, p. NJ,
J (Wich is Postmaster