The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-12-05
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS
KISSING.

/ hay written essays on kissing before
this one, aud they didn't satisfy me, no
dew think this ono will, for tho more (
man undertakes tew tell about kiss thu
moro he will reduce his ignorance to I
science.
Yu kant anaize kiss emmy more thar
yu kan the breath ov Il flour Yu kan
tell what makes kiss taste so good ennI
more than yu kan Il peach.
Emmy man who kan set down, WHARF
it is cool, aud tell how a kiss tastes, hahn
got emmy more real flavor tew his moutl
than u knot hole haz. Such phelI,
wouldn't hesitate tew describe paradise
NJ fust rate place for gardin sass.
The only way tew describe kiss is TOW
take one, and then set down, awl aloue
out of the draft, aud smack yurc lips.
If you kant satisfy yourself how kisl
tastes without taking another one, how
on arth kan you define it tew the mex
man?
| hav heard writers talk about tho
cgstatick bliss thare was in d kiss, aud
they really seemed tew think they knew
awl about it, but these are the samc kind
ov folks who perspirc aud kry when they
read poetry, and then fall tew writing
some Of their own, and think they hay
found out how.
want it understood that am talking
about pure emotional kissing, that is born
in the heart aud flies tew the lips, like
a humming bird tew her roost.
am not talking about your lazy, milk
and molasses kissing. that daubs the face
of emmy body, nor your savage bite that
goes around like roaring lion in search
of something to eat.
Kissing an unwilling pair ov lips il az
mean viktory NJ robbin birds neat,
and kissing too willing ones il about IA
untragrant Il recreation az making bo
qucts out Of dandelions.
The kind ov kissing that / nm talking
about is the kind that must do it or
spile.
If you sarch the rekords ever so lively
you kant find the author ov the fust kiss
kissing, like much other good things is
anonymous.
But thar il such 4 nature in it. stitch
world oy language without words, such
heap oy patches without fuss, 50 much
honey aud 80 little water. so cheap, so
sudden and 80 neat mode of striking up
an acquaintance, that consider it good
purchase that Adam give aad got the
ius; kiss.
Who eau imagine greater lump oy
earthly bliss. reduced ,ew n finer thing
than kissing the only woman on earth, in
the garden ov Eden!
Adam wasn't the man, believe, TO
pass sich a hand.
/ may be wrong in my konklusions,
but ci emmy boldly kan date kissing further
back, would like icw see them do it,
| don't know whether the old stock
philosophers ever kisst emmy boldly or
not If they did they probably did il like
drafting Il theorem on black board, more
for the purpose of proving something
else.
do hate to see this delightful inviger-
ating beverage adultcra,cd, it is uekiar
for the gods, but am often obliged TO
stnad still aud see kissing did, and not say n
word, that hant got emmy more novelty,
nor meaning in it, than throwing stones
to n mark
saw two mayden Iadys kiss yesterday
on the north side of the Union Square, 5
times in less than 10 minutes; they kist
everytime they bid each other farewell,
aud then Immediately thought ov sum-
thing else they hadn't sed. couldn't
tell Tor the life of me whether the kissing
was the effekt ov what they sed, or what
they scd was the effect of the kissing
1t was which and tothcr scene
Cross matched kissing is undoubtedly
the strength of the grain. 1t is trcw,
there is no stattu-regulashun against two
females kissing each other; but | don't
think tharc is much pardon for it, unless
it il done to keep tools in order; aud
two men kissing each other il prima face
evidence ov dead beatery.
kissing that passes from parent to
child, and back agin, seems tcw be az ne.
cessary az shinplasters to do Dizziness
with and kissing that husbands give
and take IL simply gathering ripe fruit
from ones own plum tree that would
otherwise drop oph or be stolen.
Therefore am drive tew konklude
tew git out Nv the cornor that mi remarks
have chased me into, that the lie ov a
kiss il only tew be had once in phello's
life, in the original package, ard that iz
when.
Not tew waste the time ov the reader,
have thought best not tew finish the
abuv sentence, hoping that thare aint no
person ov good edukashun and decent
memory but what kan rekolekt the time
which refer to, without emmy ov mi
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