The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-09-21
DO you WANT TO BE EAIEN
And now there Is danger! /!

Not by worms, for the worms will get
us all when our time comes, but eaten
before his time, just like an oyster from
the shell, without the faint mitigation
of vinegar and saltl
And pray, sir, who are going to eat
us Why, sir, the ''niggersi" Ah, you
you may laugh increduIonsly, but it is
nolaughing matteri How do we know ?
The shrewd fellow who is stopping a
few days in Clarksburg with his carpet
bag, at the Conservative Office, has made
the discovery and sounded the alarm.
here Is the warning:
From The C9drESbtr0 Conservative oCSept. 10,
a. ID. 1883.
"Did It ever occur to you that the de-
scendants of African cannibals might
still retain an exquisite relish for the
flesh of white beings-that they might
have preserved with their other savage
man bodies barbacued? Other charac-
teristics have been transmitted, why
not this epicurean fancy? Lust, ava
rice, indolence, barbarity, and igno-
rance, the leading traits of form, organ
izatIon and color are hardly modified.
Would not a little power entrusted in
their hands stimulate their passions !?
Why not the fancy of the palate? Will
you dare to invest the Offspring Of a
man-eating race with the balIotP"
Because, you see, If he had the ballot,
he would at once eat the officers of cleo
ton and all the white voters, Democrats
first. And then, who knows, he might
go on and devour the women and chill
dren.
It were bootless to inquire how this
frightened carpet-bagger editor made
the discovery. 1t may be that some of
the darkeys about BartIett's hotel have
been trying their ivories on him. If 80
his escape is no doubt due to the fact
that they didn't find him exactly suited
to their taste. Rather lean perhaps, or
possibly not, quite clean; for you see
the gentle cannibals' taste is highly
cultivated and their relish exquisite.
But no matter about this, the situation
Is what now concerns US.
Little did we think when the colored
waiter brought US a beefsteak at our
hotel this morning that the harmless
looking youth was pondering in his
anthropophagic fancy the question
Whist kind of steak wo ourself would
make, and whether we would be ten
derer broIled or fried, rare or well doneI
And yet it may have been been so.-
II must have been so; because "other
characteristics have been transmitted,
why not this epicurean fancyH"
In the face of this appalling danger,
who is safer We have some hopes
that ,"lhe descendants of the African
cannibals" will confine the gratifca-
ton of their ''highly cultivated taste
forhulnan bodies" to our Democratic
friends. But will they stop there2
whenthey have eaten allthe Democrats
their exquisite relish for the flesh of
white beings" may become SO unap-
peasable that they will go on devouring
and to devour without respect to party.
Even this black cloud of apprehen-
sion has its silver lining. There are a
good many Democrats in proportion to
the number of African caDnibals and
that Will give the Republicans time to
make spiritual and other preparation
for the dread event. Besides, those OF
US who live where Democratic ma
jorities are largest will have the longest
respite; and there is some poetical JUS
tice in this.
Is II for this that the African's teeth
are made SO whiteaud strong and large,
and :hat his mouth Is cut after so gem
erous fashion2 Think of the bill of
fare. Democrat served up with all the
variations ofroast, corned, boiled, fried,
broiled, giblets, cold, done up Ia
Ashuntee, de DGhomey, with mint
sauce, brandy sauce and without any
sauce. We know cases where the bran
dy sauce wouldn't be needed, and others
where the piece de resistance would be
pretty tough. Wesuppose the fat DEM
ocrnts wouldgo first. That accords with
all our reading about adventures among
cannibals. Some old tobacco and
whisky soaks we wot of, would stand a
fair chance of escaping, If the African
taste is as highly cultivated and ex-
quisIte as represented. Aud then see
what the discovery ofthis would lead.to!
Every Democrat would proceed to stuff
himself with tobacco and forty rod
whisky-and such a timeI
1t is true the supply is. large. There
are somewhere about thirty millions of
tho victims and about four millions of
tho canuibals-that is about eight
OF the former to each OF the latter. But
how long would we last2 Cannibals
are proverbially wasteful. They never
pick the bones half clean. Certainly
they could eat us.all up in less than a
year. And then:there ,Oould be "nig-
ger supremacy"
The subject grows on US: In every
aspect of the ease it is dreadful. We
forbear its further contemplation.
Men and brethren-yes, and sisters,
too-what is to be done2 The question
is no longer, Do you want to marry
.'nigger7" But, Do you want mig
ger" to eat your, And II you let him
vote he will surely do it. And If the
Democrats are beaten he will do 1t any
how. Therefore you must vote for
RIaNr