The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1868-04-30

up a railroad or two, for you to
take home to your country, SO you
can show your people one of the
advantages ofliving in a Christian
land. Keep quiet for a moment, !
will go out and get an institution.
W That, don't want it; we'll you
needn't have it, that's all. How
strange these uncivilized people are.
Now, Mrs. Hottentot, you go into
that room and my wife will try to
dress you up decently, for it is the
Sabbath day, and you look odd
with that blanket, or whatever it is
about you.
"a scream.
''W hats the matter in there wife,
don't civilize the woman too fast !;
Y ou know these are barbarous peo-
ple.''
Wife-"Why, 1 never can make
fit such a great big thick
waisted thing as she is. She looks
like she was as stout as an OK. On,
what bones.' -
We'll, try again; but remember
these are very ignorant people"
(Another loud scream.
''WRat on earth are you doing to
her; don't hurt the poor thing.
What are you trying to do p
why l am trying TO put stays on
her, but she pulls them off as fast as
1 put them on. lam going to church
this evening, and l thought if
could make her look any way hand
some, I would have her go along
but no such looking thing will ]
take into respectable company"
So she would not have the stays
on at all, but put on her mantle
came out of the room, and taking
hold of her husbands hand, away
they went out of the door and
across the fields, jumping over fen
ces and everything in their way in q
most uncultivated manner, making
a bee-line for their own country
Poor, deluded barbarians, how my
heart ached for them-ached to sec
them refuse the hospitalities Of ar
enlightened people. That is the
last time l viii try to civilize hot
.tentot.
We1, my nelghbors have had 6
"fuss' "a regular country fuss
and it happened in this wise: Smith
sent over to Dalrymple to borrow {
wagon; but Dalrymple, who haf
learned tolerable dear lesson BY
lending a wagon, and having i
smashed up, refused to favor hi
neighbor; he would lend anything
except his horses and wagon, thes'
he would not lend to that respected
progenitor, his grandfather. H
hoped his neighbor would no
think hard, but in the horse ant
wagon line he neither loaned no
borrowed.
Shortly after this refusal, Smith
wife came along down the lane OIL
horseback, and, stopping in from
of Dalrymple's house, in shril
voice called out
"Look here, 1 want you to keel
yer turkeys out of our pasture
They're seratchin' up the grasshop
pers like all fire, and John says he'll
shoot every Que on EN-
Mrs: D. heard this, and out sh
came, slightly riled, as would b'
natural, perhaps.
"Go long about yer business,
she says. "Yer only mad becaus
you didn't git the wagon. VIII
ever hearn tell Of turkeys hurtin'
pastor"
"You git out, Dallyrimple. Wha
name! It ought to be Dillydal
lyrimple; fur l never seed you dol
nuthin. Now look here" she ad
ded, raising her voice and her han
at the same time, Il want to ask yo
one question: "Did you tell Mo
Turner at Sail Polliwog's weddin
that you wouldn't give your boz
tail rooster fur our old settin' hen !?
''No," says Mrs. D., Il didn'
say any sich thing, but I'll tell 20
what [ did say, and you can max
the most of it. I said I'd rathe
have three lame guinea fowls tina
seventeen blind geese. There, now.
Here Mr.. Dalrymple came along
II will put up the turkeys sal
he; s'its small affair; don't let u
have trouble about it. We wi
feel better if we keep in a goo
humor."
'sWell," replied Mr.. Smith, afte
sigh or two, ''you needn't pr
the turkeys up. They won't d.
much harm. I don't want troubl
neither, to tell the truth l thin
we ought to git along peacable."
"Oh, I think we cam said Mr.:
Dalrymple. "Won't you git o
your hoss and come in out of th
hot sun ?''
mo, it's most dinner time and
must go back" Then, turning he
horse homeward, she added sc
up, Bob; come over and see me
Mrs. Dallyrimple, whenever yo
| have time; 1t S q very hot day"
"Yes, it's very sultry,'' reptile
the other. "You must come an
see me, too; good bye"
And so goes the world. Yo
see a literary man must record a,
things if he would make his fame.
Fame, grand condition, all worth seeing her
| A name to coming generations known,
To have your faiiings pl blished twice a yea
That future blockheads may excuse theirow
| Oh! 1 tell you it is nice, thi
thing of being remembered afte
YOU are dead. What solid comfol
it gives one to know that such wi
be the case! Imagine the delight
which flow from the thought ths
you will live forever in the heart
Of the people; that persons trave
ing for their health will remembe
your death, and 90 a square or tw