The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-02-09
HEAD AND GEORGE FRANCIS
TRAIN.
INFORMANT DISPATCHES.

On the 32d ultimo / received the LIST dispatch
from tn great North American eagle, George
Fancy Strain, announcing matters Of such grave(y)
Importance to our people Of Alaska, that have
consented to lay 'em out before the public in the
columns Of the CRESCENT, which newspaper is for
sale at 10 cents the single copy, to be had Of all
respectable periodical dealers and at the door.
The following is the LIST dispatch:
CORK (UP) IRELAND, This Month, 1868.
A. HAD, Eco, New Orleans, La, .. s., that was:
Nv Dear Sir" am here.n The lnfant(ry)
portion Of Ireland is in arms, and the cavalry are
horsestyle. / have got myself arrested, have
got up an irish wake, / will soon have an irish
stew. Ihaye backed down the British government,
and have scarf the British lion 80 that he has
gone up in q balloon, and am now the lion my
self. Magnihcently yours, n
Ireceived the above dispatch by the Mexican
Gulf Railroad and Immediately replied as follows:
HOTEL De VEAL Where Strangers Meat,
Paris, (Ky.,) Jan. 1868. I
GeOrgl-Yours was forwarded me from New
Orleans. You are In Ireland stay there, and ''if
any man attempts 10 haul down the American
flag" make one of your speeches on the spot.
"HRAD.n
could then wait no longer, but as soon as the
above vas gone, wrote Immediately to the LOuisi-
ana Black and Tan" convention to adopt the
following resolution, and
Whereas A people calling themselves British
ers, have dared to exist and TO maintain that
Brittania rules the waves" and, whereas, the
said BTitshers kept menagerie In which lion
and a uDycorn were exhibited, contrary to the
statue made and provided, and the piece OF the
Staff; and whereas, the promontory known as
Ireland insisted on " Wearin' Of the green"-backs
against the will Of said lion and britishers, now
therefore be il
Resolved, that we, in Black and TAM as.
Tembled do annihait the statues Of Great Britain
Eo.called confscate the Bank Of England the
Giants Csusewsy Of Ireland and the whisky Of
Scotland, and do hereby destroy the British lion
aforesaid and make our man and brother, Geo.
Fancy Strain, the lion in said aforesaid British
lions place. That We declare him military die
tator, president, chief bottle washer, scsvenger
and stage manager, and give him full powers
and privileges, 10 root hog or die"
All of which was anonymously adopted without
dissecting voice.
These resolution was printed, tied with red
aanuel, and forwarded by cable to George, who
thereupon dispatched me:
SANE PLACE, SINCE.
Dear Hedd-The British government didn't
bold me only long enough to git my name into
the papers, as threatened the British govern
mGnt with personal viOents IL they didn't let
NE go. am now going it! | am being carried
on the heads of the people, and they pay my
WesberwomRn's bill regular. | shall annex the
British possessions TO the British lion, and ride
him in triumph to Boston. Yours, STRAIN.
p. =. Please have my dispatches printed in
the 4" GuillOtine Of the Gulf or Bsgpipe Of Free
DOM" and alt other papers you can. s--N.
Is any thing more needed to confirm the blind
public of Georges talents in q peculiar direc-
ton than the above dispatches? 1 answer, no,
sir The American eagle, that for q while
looked like sick chicken after o heavy rain,
has become q game cock, aye, more, a regular
weather cock And who has accomplished all
thisl III tell you Miss Anna Dickinson. Mrs.
G.. Fancy Strain, Mrs. Elizabeth CRdy Stanton
and any other man.
While am waiting for another dispatch from
GeoTgy, IN relate little Of his photography.
He was born of wealthy but rather responsible
parents while yet quite young, and he early de.
yeloped taste for base ball. he has been q
| base bswler ever since, judging by the tenor Of
| his speeches. No orator has been able 10 say
| more in a short time lime than he. After assist
| ing Alexander SelkiTk TO discover America, he
| set 10 WOIk to organize Congress, establish
| Women's rights and right women, and after spend
| ing his fortune Of $500 900 000 which he had
made in tie indigo trade, in getting our republic
on paying basis, he started for England to give
EN- horse railroads.. But John Bulls head was
too thick TO see that George was only working for
their own good. and he failed to rail round Lon
| don, be went round railing against LondOners.
George at last returned TO his native land in
time 90 avoid cOnscription in the late unpleasant
ness between the North and South, and it was
entirely owing to him that Gen. Grant was pro
yided with cigars enough to smoke out the South
After getting this little ARRAY between the two sec
| tons liked up, he went into partnership with Mrs
| Anthony and Mrs. Stanton, and went round exhi.
/ biting themselves on the woman's rights plat
form. Bat the platform broke down and they
| broke Up.
George then went to ireland, the land Of the
| free and the home of the brave acted suspi
| ciously as usual got in jail, got in the newspa
| pers and then went TO sending dispatches for q
| living. You will notice one peculiarly about
| them, and that is he never mentions himself
| George was always modest urchin from hi:
| youth 70 his boyhOod.
| am just handed another dispatch:
IRELAND, AFTERw ARDS.
Dear Hedd-I have performed great feet BY
stamping 1t through ireland. | am now on tip
| toe 10 see things 60 heels over head. shall arm
| the foot cavalry and create such consideration
as will strike the loud earth breathless. 1 write
this while the people are carrying me on Their
| shoulders. Yours, STRAIN.
Ireceived this Just as the report came out tha
| there was 20 per cent. depreciation in city money
ard as ] thought likely | might have some
some day, Cor some other kin1.) didn't feel il
the best mood, and accordingly sent back tht
PARIS, Ky.-Noon.
George-You are like last years cotton crop
you've got worms. Come home. Yourn,
"HEAD"
| But he won't cOme-no stree, he won't, as Ions
as there's a chance of crushin' out the british gov
| ernment-with speeches. The Confederate army
even, with all its strength and bravery, nevel
could have stood them. How, then, can England
| hope 10 stand.
Poor ireland, IL talk will make you happy
| you're fxed-you've got George with you.
| George Fancy Strain, good bye, my (im) Pc
| tu-ous and whenever you come within hun
dred miles Of my house, stop. AdiOs.
| "A HEAD (Center)
| Sleep, which casuists tell % is the only cond
! ton in which we are without sin, seems TO be a
state that we are all of US ashamed of. aud which
many people appear to regard as little less thar
| criminal. If il were not 80, why should we re
| gard our bed-chambers as such penetrals oil
| privacy; or deny with an intensity approaching