Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1868-10-02

- '''i'''
\ cynical bachelor thinks the honey
moon sweet lunacy.
\ paper containing many fine points;
a paper Of needles.
why are good husbands like dough
Because women need them.
An old maids favorito hymn: oh,
for q mans in the skies.
England is oyerrun with mosquitoes;
their song Is, l smell the blood of an
EngIisbman.'
a Pittsburg negro says he is for
Pcndelum and Greenbacks.'
The Democratic orators have gone in
to base bawling.
The strongest thing about the Demo
cratic candidate for Vice President is his
breath.
If You want to see pretty tolerable
specimen ofvanity, consult your own look
ING glass.
a bore; the man that goes into
printing office, occupies the editors chair,
talks to the printers, and insists upon
reading the copy before i is printed.
Woman, with all thy faults love thee
still, was the reply Of husband to his
sco!dng wife.
Secret Societies are of very ancient
;ol Il .
Nod fellow, and it is even supposed that
our first parents had Lodge in some
vast wilderness.
A young gentleman, speaking ola
young. beauty's fashionable yelIowish
hair, called it pure gold. 1T ought to
be- quoth Kit looks like twenty four
carrots
Why is pig the most proyident of
animalsl Because he always carries
spare rib or two about him.
An editor out West, who had served
four days as a juryman, says: Il am
so full Of law that it is with great diff
Guilty | refrain from cheating somebody
Three new hotels are going up in the
upper part of New York.
A good story is told of little boy
who could net return to the owner a bor-
rowed Ratchet at the time promised, be-
cause he was sent away on an errand.
lie was so much troubled by this and SO
anxious to do what he had promised that
he got up in his sleep and took the hatch
ct home and returned to bed.
Artemus Ward once had an adventure
in Boston hich resulted as follows:
returned in the boss cart part way.
A pooty girl in spectacles sot near me,
end was tel,in' young IMAM how much
he reminded her ola young man she us
ed % know in Watham. Poorly soon
the young man got out, and smiling in n
seductive manner, said to the girl in
spectacles:
Don't | remind you of some one you
used to know?'
yes, she said, you do remind me of
one man, but he was sent to the penten-
tiary for stealth barrel of mickeral; he
died there SO conclood you amt him
| didn't pursoo the conversation.
No8oLoGY.-A very laxative little
girl used often to annoy her mother by
making remarks about the visitors TINT
came 10 the house. On ono occasion n
gentleman was expected whose nose had
been accidentally battenod nearly to his
face. The mother cautioned her child
particularly TO say nothing about this fea-
ture. Imagine her CONSERVATION when
the little one clearly exclaimed Ma,
you told me not to say anything about
Mr.. Smiths nose. Why, he hasn't got
any
'Sambo, if q man asked you to drink
wid'm, what would You do''
IVY, I'd call him ge'man.'
Yah, yah, dat's ies like you, nigga,
but # twas me, why, I'd drink wid'm.'
A deyoteo Of fashion predicts that
another season Of short bill dresses,
tight boots, and an agonized expression
on the faces of the wearers will be in
fashion.
AI Cl2IiLCti year OII HISS, !tJetk lTOIu
one Of the fashionable watering places,
says there is nothing mean about her
lover. He bad given her an $4,000
ring.
An Edinburgh paper says: We re-
greet to find that the announcement Of
the death Of Mr.. Wis malicious
fabrication.'
A back door bella pretty kitchen
maid.
Horses in Utah are poisoned by eat
ing grass that has been partially consum-
ed by grasshopper..
A Frenchman, anxious to show fell
low countryman the vigorous style Of
ono Of the old poets, translated Hail,
horrors, hail, as follows-'How do YOU
do, horrors, how do you do?
A contemporary says:-'The woman
ought to make pledge not to kiss
man who uses tobacco. and it would soon
break up the prsctice' Were the ladies'
TO pledge themselves to kiss every man
who does not use it, the practice would
be given up much sooner.