Middletown transcript., 1868-10-03
QQlit and 3umor,
The Old Woman and the Crow.

The following amusing anecdotc, which
has never yet appeared i'll print, struck me
as containing point so kcenly satirical,
that | determined to write it down and
have it "placed on the records" 1t was
told me by one who was an eye witness.
and who, of course, speaks from the book.
The story will lose much Of its ludicrous-
ness i'll my style of writing, and his of tell
ing it, but here goes:
At a certain crossroads, in the State of
Alabama, stood IA small grocery or 'whis-
kcyshop," previous to the war, where
" "chain-lightning" was dealt oAt to the
thirsty unwaslted, a, five cents drink, or
twenty cents quart. The presiding &C.
MUS 1T this delectable institution was one
Billy Sykes, who, among various other
pets, had domcsticatcd crow, black as
the ace of spades.
This crow had learned, among other
things, to repeat quite plainly the words
damn you," which he, of course, heard
frequently used in the grocery. During
the prevalence of knock-,town- and drag
out fight one day, however, the crow was
frightened from his home and flew off into
the woods never to return.
About three miles from the grocery was
Il meeting -house-an old tumble-luwn, di-
lapidatcd affair, only used on certain occa-
sions, when circuit-ridcr" happened
that way. Into this building went the
crow, taking pcaccablc possession and
two days thereafter the church was thrown
open for preaching, and a large crowd as
scmbled, among whom was a very old la
dy, who was compelled to use crutchcs in
walking, who took Il seat in the :" front
pew" and was soon absorbed in the clo-
quenco of the preacher. The reverend
gentleman had scarcely got under full
hcadway, and commenced laundering his
anathcmas at all grades of sinners, when
a hoarse, croakng voice from above utter
ed the ominous words:
.tDann you"
The preacher and congregation looked
aghast at such profanity, and each peercd
into his neighbor's face in vain to detect
some sign of guilt. Quiet was at length
restored, and the sermon proceeded, but
ere ten minutes had elapsed the ominous
"damn you" again electrified the audience,
anu lusl do viz plCdCnCi CdSI his Us up
wards to search for the delinquent, the
crow flew from his perch, and lighting on
the Bible, calmly surveyed the terrified
crowd, and gave another dolcful croak:
"Domn gou!'
The elect was elcctri al Giving one
startled and terrified glance at the intruder
the preacher sprang through window.
carrying sash, glass and all with him, and
set off at IA break-neck pace through the
woods, closely followed by his horror
stricken congregation, who had piled out
of the building poll-mcll after. In the
general scramble the old lady with the
crutches had been knocked down in church,
where she lay unable to rise, and not OBJ
serving her, the crow (who was after
something to caD flew down beside her,
and cooking up his eye at her very know
ingly, eroakedm
"Damn YOU"
The old lady eyed him savagciy for a
few moments, and then burst forth in
tone of reel lless defiance:
eyes, and damn you, too. l had no.
thing to do with getting up this Methodist
meeting, and you know it, too"
The poor old soul had mistaken the
crow for the devil, and concluded to pro-
pitiatc the wrath of his Santanic Majesty.
by denying all completely in the affair.
The world is full of just such people