Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1868-10-09
Communication.
Good morning, Mr.. Times! How are

| Good morning, Mr.. Tunes =! How are
you? .2JgTpx H8Tyk...-t..E,4
We accept the introduction, so kindly
rendered at the hands of our quandam
friend, from the unexplored regions of the
laoire-t tailed inhabitants Of Po-monkey land
/ And while he is enjoying literary fur
Tough from the caravan of the county,
supported animals. permit as through you
to have little ''pow-aco,o'' with him.
We thank him for the tender sympa-
thctic privilege accorded the unoffending
,''acornls p as well as the acknowledged
duty of the inoffensive enJ1en,atic bird Of
peace Could aoe be but accorded this
acknowledged privilege and duty, we
would not, nor should we be. censured
Are we less than these? Are they not
the judges of the oppression against which
they turn? = Is not the turtle -dore d
shrewd discriminator? Does she not
know the yulturs and the haaoh, who prey
upon the unprotected nests of the inoffen-
sive-who live and fatten Cor else mus
Idie) upon the tender gatherings of other
hocks? We ask again-are we less than
these? They feel the oppression, and
tits fair to osuppose they knoao the oppres-
sors We thank the gentleman for his
familiar smile. ''Fools and children, " it
is said, ''will tell the truth Is not the
monkey good aper ?-we will not say
poor monkey-for if he be so mow, he
ought not to be so long. since he may be
fairly suspected as one of the clan who is
fed with some Of the $40, 900 (B. F. But
tler) spoons-whether stolen. taken or en-
gineered for, it makes no difference, so he
gets the spoons, nor will it. nor does it,
make much difference how long or how
short the handle, since, with his wiry tail,
he can JacA; up and aoorns his latter end
into the pockets of the people-whisking
out at least $40. 900 per annum. This
will (to say the least) be the cost of the
'.aew Road bill;' ;'-quite as STRAIGHT as
neao to the pockets of the people.
We suspect this new Road bill will. to
some of our friends, be like Jordan to the
Jews, "a hard road to travel" B. F.
Butler. with stolen and strazing spoons, is,
we think. a tolerable set-off for Charley
--1lL~-4r-es~---a;
dead. But let both be dead, and yet be
1t hnown, they have left monkey who.
in his own name, or the name and inter-
ests of others, with his wiry tail ''plays
such fantastic tricks before high Heaven
he makes the nations weep" the treasury
bleed, the county poor, and the roads no
better than under the old system, aehem
properly uorked How are you, 'ci,y
taI? Take another turn around the limb,
else there may have to be some more en-
gineering done to exhume and ascertain
your downward whereabouts. Perhaps
somebody may be hurt an inquest
decent burial. and, delectable soul-inspir-
ing thought! another draft upon the trea-
surg "a. .s L.
So much, Mr.. Times, for the worms
and doves, and just so much for Po(or)-
monkey .- -t'
Had the animal have reasoned, (but
how can he. since his tail S his tork?-he
can do nothing but worm little), we
should have been pleased to have met him,
even behind foremost, and will perhaps
when he shows the distinguishing features
between the aoiry-tailed animal we have
before mentioned and the intellectual type
of manhood Since in this he's failed,
ne, friend Times, will reason little. =
All along, and somewhere mixed, there is
something intended, but nowhere said or
sung, unless it be to the tune Of
ssWhat makes all measures plain and clear?
l A H., 1S
And what was known, as enough before,
| Is re-known at tuo hundred more"
| Before we become serious, let US ask
from what cage or cradle has the CORES
pondent escaped? If he claims; either
through himself or friends, to belong to
our species-0his would not be strange,
for the assurance of the animal will al
ways play the ape, and affect the manners
Of his betters, )-where is the Orphans
Court? Do they not take charge of Or
phans or imbeciles? Or has he moth
er, and does she know he's out? If so,
where's the bailiff? Why does he not
ring the bell. crying as he goes, ''Lost
child" &c., &c. ? The moon is on the
wane, the nights are dark both children
and monkeys are merchantable. The
Van Amburgs are about, in the shape Of
Highway Brigades and Engineering
Corps. They want something to show
off with, child for sympathy, a monkey
for sport We will deal gently with chill
dren with monkeys as monkeys. And
with them we are done-only saying
"the higher he climbs the more he show!
his -" .'",s&
We will now Gaking up the expires
sions of our chatterer) ''pow-wow" will
you. supposing him to be listening. l
, is not { Saturday evening" tits morning
Twas not our purpose, nor did we, at
tempt or desire, to "malign' our repre-
sentatives. As gentlemen, honest, intel
ligent and aoo'fhy, we gave them our sup
port, and of it, we trust, they may alway
prove worthy. Buff, by mal-legislation
they forfeit it, it can be no fault of ours
They certainly must look to their owl
laurels. This is torture of our resolu
tions not sustained by anything that fol