The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-09-18
nrit an6 Duutnt.

Mtt attN Dntttnr.
- Bosom frlends-Studs.
- Stylish animals-Hogs.
- Natural humbugs-Bees.
- A spinner's motto-.Life is reel.
- Boys are men in roundabout
way.
"A crafty oceupation-Ship build
ing.
- A side issue-W Women at the crea-
ton.
- The hard-ships of the ocean
.ron-clads.
= A big card offortune-The trump
OF fame.
- The beggars avoeation-preying
for his daily bread.
- The seriousness of young girl
is rarely so innocent rs her fun.
A tired oysterman tliscouraeing-
ly says that life is mere dredgery.
= Printers are baptized in font
oftype.
= Orange satin peticoats hop at
Saratoga
The best circulating medium
The blood.
= All flowers of speech spring from
tulips.
- Popular hose company-The So
ciety of women.
-Dress parade-A fashionable wo-
mans toilette.
- The best forms of society-Wo
mems natural figures.
- Army literature-magazincs and
reviews.
man in Washington, refuses TO fan her
husband.
- Nature benevolently guards the
rose with thorns aud the women with
pins.
- A very benevolent old lady has
taken it into her head to kni. a pair of
hose for fire engine.
- A good woman. fond as she may
be of talking, could more easily close
forever her mouth than her heart.
- Why is girls looking Cor her
lover childish amusement Because
its playing at beau-peep.
Our musical young ladies' have
abandoned pianos and taken to brass
bands. They carry them on their
heads.
- A traveller says there Is race of
men IN South America of such enormous
proportions that they mix their lather
in wash-tub and shtve with q scythe.
= The New York Herald says, by
way of a joke on the leg drama, that
great many people have fallen down
and worshipped Il fatted calf.
- 1t is an interesting sight to see
young lady with both hands in soft
dough and a mosquito on the end her
nose.
A new married couple went to
Niagara on a visit and the gentleman
In ort.er 10 convince his ssdear" that he
was brave as he was gallant. resolved to
go dc wn TO the Cave of the Winds. She
of course objected: but finding that he
was determined, affeetionately reques-
ted him to leave his watch and purse be-
hind.
- A story is told of young lady,
teacher at 3 Sunday school, who one
or two Sundays ago asked youngster
what was matrimony. He mistook the |
the question for purgatory, and prompt |
ly answered, "A place or state of pun
ishment in this life where some souls |
suffer for time before they ascend to |
heaven"
- When in the course of human
events, the dark clouds of adversely
hang upon the horizon of our days, |
shutting out all cheering rays of hope
making the head faint and the heart
sick, when the friends of prosperity de-
sert us, and naught but dispair fingers
around our pathway how cheering the
faintest tinge of silver linil upon the
stormy cloud. To such we would say
delay not moment in securing chance
for the widening of that silver lining,
by forthwith settling your indebtness
to the printer.
- A farmer was telling his friend |
about a tax collector whose receipt he |
had lost, who asked him for payment |
of tax a second time
sWould yoa believe it, when I told |
him / had paid iG once and would not |
pay 1t again, The scoundrel began to |
abuse me %
"What did you do - asked his friend. |
"Why | demonstrated with him.
. Sand to what effect ?"
swell, | don't exactly know, was
the reply, ''but the poker was bent"
- certain Devine about to change |
his congregation mentioned the subject |
from the pulpit. After service was |
over an old negro man who was one of |
his admirers went up to him and de- |
sired to know the motives of his leav- |
ing his first flock.
or have call. " said the parson.
"Ah, massa," returned the negro, /
"who called you ?"
: s'The Lord" answered the parson.
FAY, massa, he call you %
Eyes, Jack, he called me-"
"Massa, what you get here p
81 get SIX hundred dollars"
Sand what you get to'der place ?n
81 am to get one thousand dollars"
AYE, massa, de Lord can call you
till he be blind, from one thousand dol
lars to six hundred dollars-you no go.
- A good story was told us lately
of a popular preacher in the town of
p, Pennsylvania which we shall take
the privilege of reproducing. 1t APP
pears the minister has been welded to
very worthy lady, whose first gift was
a dowery of ten thousand dollars, upon
the promise of as much more on the de-
cease of her invalid parent. Shortly
after marriage while occupying the
pulpit CHANGED, to give ont hymn, the
nth verse of which commenced
"Forever let my grateful heart"
His words paused-he coughed slight
1u-thnn addiu0. stfrhe choir will omit |