Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-06-16
Things Wise and other US.

A bully boy-a butcher.
A poacher of eggs cook.
New name for fog-the air apparent.
A Stove Pipe-A broken butt of sherry.
What liquor would a lover be? Beside her.
The ancient bitterness of Europe-old Gaul.
To Bonnets-Though lost to sight to memo
~ dear.
ALI nature is up in arms; the very grass is
shooting.
The South is compared with an egg-white
with yolk to it
Can man be found too rude to take his hat
off to bumblebee
in midsummer? I-sickles.
When may loaf of bread be said to be in
habited? When it has little Indian in it.
The latest novelty in fire arms is gun that
IS capable Of being discharged with reprl-
mand
An exchange wants Us to apologize for saying
Logan looked like dog. Well, We do-to the
dog
John Smith says he had 'scold in the lum-
Der region on account of having his head shin
gled." 5G
Another Radical vote busted. One of Billy
Brownlow's niggers, while robbing hen roost,
was killed. -i
An editor out West gives notice that there
will be no paper this week, as our wife is using
the scissors. -
A Western Radical paper calls Wade the Jo-
nah Of the party. Prentice says he pities the
whale that swallows him.
Yates says it only takes little to make him
tight That's what's the matter with all such
people, they only take little-too mnch.
A Hoosier called in a store in Ohio, and ask
ed Mister, do you take plumber for spun
truek?' He wanted to trade for cotton cloth.
What nose is more brilliant than a topper s
nose2 Why volcanoes, to be sure. Pat remarks
that the chief glow Of each comes from the
crather.
A Western editor in response to a subscriber
who grumbles that his morning paper is always
intolerably damp, says that is because there is
so much due on it
The young lady who sang, Il wish somebody
would come" has had her desire gratifed =
Eleven country cousins have arrived and intend
to stay all summer.
A talking match is On the tapis between two
women of Boston. Time, twenty four hours
without sleep. No stoppages for food or drink
The husbands are anxious to have the time ex
tended to week
A little girl worn out by the long sermon, last
Sunday, observing the preacher gathering him
self for the introduction of another point ex
claimed, ''Oh, mother he is not going to uui
at all He is swelling up again!''
Aunt Hetty inquired of the servant girl if she
came from the Hungarian parts of Ireland p
On being told that her geographical knowledge
was somewhat defective. she excused herself BY
saying, II hain't much learnin' | never wen
to school but one day, and that was in the even
in, and We hadn't no candle, >and the master
didn't come
At a wedding in Delaware, when all was ar
ranged and the minister called on any to speak
who objected to the marriage, husky voice
cried OUT Il do All eyes were turned In
that direction, when a man emerged from the
crowd. holding his handkerchief up to his eyes
and numbering.
why do you object?' asked che minister.
Because want her myself
Il can tell better story than that" said a
certain captain once Il felt pretty considera
bly, frisky one day, and went up the lightning
rod, hand over hand, as high as the vane |
had trst-rate prospect up there-but that
amt all. A thunder cloud came over and saw
it was going TO strike the steeple, and thinks
to myself, if it hits me / IN done up So got
ready, and when the crack came give one lean
up, let the lightning strike and ruu down. and
then caught hold again."