The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1868-04-11
IL ! p

AlImcn are gnod actors when they perform
their duty.
Seamless skirts, made Of felt, will soon bc
worn 10y ladies.
If Patti will not marry. Of course there
will be no Pa;ti.cake.
If beauty draws u~ by single hair, who
can resist whole waterfall?
4 bridal pair in Detroit weigh $50 pounds
Can they be called light hearicd7
Bierstadt has sold his Rocky Maintains
and Storm" in England for $4,000.
There is strong man in Chattanooga
who can carry otf a barrel of -four under
each arm.
The best cure for drunkards, says an old
philosopher. is. whilst sober, to- observe q
drunken man.
astonishing cure for consumption. as
the old lady said when she sprinkled snuff on
the victuals of her boarders.
81 wish, said son of Erin, ''I could find
the place where men don't die, that might
90 and end my days there"
"Union is not always strength" a. the
Radical said when he saw the bar keeper
mixing his rum with water.
4 little girl in Bangor one Sunday aston.
ished her Sunday school teacher with,
Blessed are the dressmakers."
The Kansas Senate has passed bill allow.
ing persons. without regard to sex or color,
TO practice in the Stare courts.
A dog in ST. John rnn away. but on having
shown 10 him an advertisement Of his lose.
Immediately returned 10 his master.
An estimable Boston gentleman has been
made so dizzy by fast sleigh riding that he
actually lost his balance at his bankers.
A Paris actress fell near the faotlights, hut
escaped injury from the circumstance that
she had nothing on which could take fire.
Sturgeon objects to hearing man pray
half an hour, and then conclude by asking
| the Lord t0 pardon his Shortcomings.
Why is son who objects to his mothers
second marriage like an exhausted pedestri
an? Because he can't go a step farther.
Douglas Jerrold said Eve ate the forbidden
fruit that she might have the pleasure oI
dressing. We think that is the naked truth
/ A tailor has a bill in his window to the
| following effect; WANTED, several thin cont
makers" This is n fine chance for spare
tailors.
The proprietor Of bone mill advertised
that ''persons sending their bones TO be
ground will be attended to with pnnctuality
and dispatch"
A man came suddenly upon lion in an
African jungle, whereupon the man ran
away with all his might, and the lion with
all his name.
The young Chinese Emperor. twelve years
old, rej0ces in the celestial title of Ills
High Prosperity" His Imperial father was
Perfect Bliss. !"
The fewer relations or friends that we have
the happier we are. In yoar poverty they
never help you in your prosperity they al.
ways help themselves.
"How do look, DoctorP' asked painted
young lady of the family physician. Il can't
tell, madam, till you uncocer your face, /" was
the crushing reply.
A man boasting III the company of young
ladies that he had a luxuriant head of hair,
a lady present said that it was owing to the
mellowness of the SOIL
A Green Mountain boy, not himself green,
has been obtaining lodging and food for HIM
self and horse at farm houses, and, when the
bill is presented in the morning, coDlly de-
manding to sec his entertainers license to
keep tavern. When it is not produced,
neither does he pay.