Middletown transcript., 1868-08-22
LONG ENGAGEMENTS.

The practical spirit of the age has dis
posed people to look with marked disavol
upon long engagements, and for once the
spirit of the age has invaded the domain Of
domestic ethics without doing them any
hurt. Nearly everybody now approves Of
matrimonial engagements being, like 9TH
ers of not quite SO bloodlcss a character,
short, sharp, and decisive Marriage is
one Of those desperate experiments to which
Macboth's famous words, used in the half
sense in which alone they seem ever to be
employed, are peculiarly applioabl the
thing is to be done at all, "then 'twere
we'll it were done quickly" The old saw
about marrying in haste and repenting at
leisure can scarcely be construed as referr-
ing to betrothals, since even the law on the
subject, which is by no means new, does
not contemplate such process as repent
ance, and attaches a heavy penalty to in
diligence in it. Formerly, people who
were engaged were considered to be as
good as married and The canon law as I'M
derstood at Rome, we believe, requires
formal dispensation from such pledge be-
fore any other union is permissible, Ii
must, therefore, have been rather to enter
ing into engagements than to their natural
and final result, that the familiar warning
referred and to that extent, it was, per-
| haps, sound one. Modern practice,
however, for the most part, does not pay
much heed to it, even when taken in this
sense; the fact being, that there is often
| quite as much haste in getting two young
persons engaged as IN getting them mar
ried. A cynical writer has remarked that
a man cannot know too much about his
wife before marriage, or too little after it.
Without accepting the disagreeablc obser-
vation, we may still allow that there is
certain amount Of perfectly inoffensive wis
dom in the first. But it tells against has
ty engagements, rather than in favor of
long ones and were the former instead of
the latter our present inquiry, We think we
could show grave cause against a habit |
which is becoming exceedingly common.
But it is not and we have alluded to it |
only because we are inclined to think that |
brief engagement finds its full justifca-
tion only when it has not been rich one.
But whether rash or the result of due re-
lection, when once entered upon, the soon
er It is closed the better. When so very
fine boundery separates an ardent couple |
from their mutually desired destiny, they
might as well Jump the life to come," as
Macbeth again has it, with happy des-
patch: and, where matters are arranged |
with sagacity, any delay that may take
place is commonly due to artificial, rather
than natural obstructions. Some such tri-
vial postpopement is, of course, inevitable,
and is always accepted with good grace.
In the first place, as everybody knows, a
marriage is not marriage, or, at any rate,
it is not avoiding, unless the whole world
is there to see it, and how can the whole
world be there unless 1t is properly appri.
sed of the intended ceremonial7 1t thus
becomes obvious that consideration must
be paid to the convenience of the specta-
tors as we'll as the feelings of the principal
actors, and severe penalty may be in
Cured by neglecting this important point.
1t is true that the audience does not nav
at the door of the building in which the
spectacle is to be Witnessed, but the spcci-
ally invited portion of it is usually oxpec-
ted to give a gratuity-and no slight one
for the benefit Of the chief performers.
For it must, furthermore, be remembered,
that the bride and bridegroom, though the
chief are not the only performers; and the
of those who play secondary,
but, nevertheless, indispensable parts, and
even that of the supernumeraries, must
likewise be consulted. Next to the two
protagonists, the bride and her walking
gentleman, come those inferior but deser-
wing characters, the bridesmaids and the
best man. The engagements of the lat
ter are not usually ofso pressing charac-
ter as to make him stand in the way of an
early arrangement. His role requires We
ry little coming, and his wardrobe is al
ways more or less ready. Moreover, he
can always answer for himself, his move t
ments not being dependent upon those of
other people. But with the bridesmaids |
it is different. Their time is not altogeth-
er their own: and the date, which may be {
perfectly agreeable to one of them, or to
the maternal regulator of the movements 9
Of one of them, may completely clash with ,
the arrangements of the maternal regulator |
Of the movements of another of them. Of I
course, the more numerous the bridesmaids G
the more complex the difficulties of this a
description. Supposing these little pre- '
liminaries to be got over smoothly, there is '
still the grave question of costume to be q
Here, however, it is the c
wardrobe of the prima donna, and not of c
the subsidiary artisteS, which governs the
interval between engagement and union. Q
The time that is long enough for her is i
more than long enough for them We are r
assured that six weeks is a short allowance a
for the preparation of a troussoau-that is,
be it understood, when it is once, as the
phrase it, put in hand, Taking
Ill these various matters into considera-
lion, we shall arrive at the conclusion,
hat the period of engagement cannot well
be- less than three mnnths and Ihat n,,ar il