The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1868-06-11

Posr OFFIs, CoYFEDmr Y ROADS, I
(Which is in the Stait NV Kentucky1 :
May "a, 1863.
/ wuz at Chicago one day, and that
one day satisfied me. My ears wuz
stunned with roars for Grant, whichever
way turned my eyes ! saw nothing
but Grant badges and Grant medals
the bands wuz all pIayin the Star Span
gled Banner and sich, and even the
street organ grinders he'd atooned their
Tyres to the same Ablishen melodies
On my arrival askt yishus boy,
witch | knowed wuz Dimecratic, from
the fact that his little shirt wood hev
hung out Nv bis little pants if he'd he'd
any shirt, eff be could show me where
the AbEshen Conyenshun wuz holdin
itself. .r. .....
Certainly l kin, my old buffer" sed
he, 'It5 in that yer bildin," pintin ez
he spoke, to a ruther gorgus edifce
with a steeple to it.
entered it and wuz surprised, not
only at the fewness nv the delegates on
the floor, but at ther pecoolyer appear
ance. They wuz all solemn lookin
chaps with gold spectacles, black coats,
hi gh foreheds and white neekerchers
"Is this, " thot l to myself, "the uniform
delegates wear at Republikin conycn-
shuns!" d.
At this pint I turned to man sittin
beside me, and in an uhdeTtone asked
wich wuz ahead on the last ballot, Col
fax or Wade e2--.----,--.------
"Sir," sed he, "are you johnson
postmaster ?" ..... .r
II am" sed I defantly. GLOW
didst you determine that pint?"
"By your BREATH" sed he. "Yoor
mistakin in the place, my friend, This
is Methodist Conference. ....
That wikked and peryerse boy he'd
intenshenlly deceived me.
Unable to obtane admission into the
Opera House, | whiled away the rosy
hours visitin the delegashun rooms.
The Ingeany delegasbun offered me
water when | intmated / wuz athirst.
The Ohio delegashun knew me on site,
and rekested me to dust, and the Cali
forny delegashen, nv wich expected
better things, he'd the impudence TO
offer me wine! Wine? Wine to
feed sich a nose ez | carry about
Wine to satisfy the cravings NV sich q
stummick ez mine! Faugh. And the
man who did it he'd bin in Californy
twenty years!
Disgusted at the thinness NV the bey
erages | retired into a friendly hos,
telry kept by Dennis O'Shaughnessey
and at his hospitable bar, solaced my,
self with three fingers NV Kentucky
sustenance.
There wuz no enthoosiasm among
the citizens of Chicogo wich naterly
fell among. The saloon keepers, wlch
in remembrance NV the Democratic
Convenshun NV 1864 he'd made extra
preparashens, wuz gloomy, sad and
; disappointed. These places, garnisht
for the oceashen, WIZ sad and lonely.
There wuz an entire absence ny that
gentle gurgle wich to me is so pleasin,
there wuz none nv the generous noses
and faces lighted with the radiance
born of the barrel wich l am so accus-
toned to- No, Chicago wuz no place
for me. ''
Its the last Republican convenshen
| shell ever attend The idea nv a con
frence sittin in the same city with q
convenshen. The idea nv minglin pol
itics with religion! Will there be con
frences in Moo York in Jooly? Me
thinks not, onless my church shood de-
eide to hold one. 1.H.l t
~ Onmy return we wuz settn in Bas-
CONS discussn the nominashens.
Deekin Pogram wuz indignant, "Good
Heavens" sed ne, with horror in hi:
sainted face, "Kin it be that men per.
fessin nashnel views wood offer sich {
insult to Kentucky ez to nominate sicl
man ez Grant, who, sword in hand
devastated her fertile fields and piled
the bodies nv her nootral sons who re
sisted his advance mountains high
Kin it be that" 9.,gs sata aaraa
EASY, Deekin," replied ], "stiddy
stiddy! Don't take posishen rashly
1t amt improbable that we hey TO nom
mate Hancock OF some other soljier
= In that eyent-but I've scd enpff"
J "Well, at all evence," sed the Dee
> kin, ''its most hoomiliatin thing {,
> hev thrownin our faces a infamous at
tempt to subjoogate us--to pledge on
s labor to pay debt unconstitooshnall,
t injured, and un-" lH....
/ "Deekin," sed /, ''your zeel l do ad
+ mirc, but yoor reelyindiscreet. TINA
5 be found necessary in order to carr
f Moo York to nominate Belmont's man
o who will he pledged to this very thing
$ Go little slow"
"Well, however that may be, its
4 burnin' shame to throw into Kentucky
face a Abolitionist-two Nv EN- in fact
! and" ..-..-
{ "Deekin," q spoke this time severe
' ly), yoor very indiscreet to-day. 1t
i possible, and | may say probable, tha