Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-11-10
SQuibs.
Handy thing-a glove.

Handy thing-a glove.
Capital stock-a paying bank.
Dry goods-crackers and Goldfish.
Traders in hearts-Confect
What plant is most fatal to mice? The cat
nip.
A man to whom every age is an iron age-a
blacksmith.
Jones says his new hair is as like his old as
tou-pees ever were.
Lawyers are lucky They can do lots of court
ing and not be engaged
Why is the fight of Queen Isabella like hard
tack? Because it is warfare. bG
How to get at the real complexion of some
ladies-take little soap and water.
MAY our blonde beauties be looked on as
forming portion of the pale of society?
When is the wind of most use to country
engaged in wal? When it blows great guns.
A LADY with the Grecian bend looks to coun
try youth like crooked neck squash struck by
lightning.
sUp to snuff is now rendered elevated to
an equal capacity with the titillating particles
of the tobacco plant
Mrs. Darlington cannot understand how
how quicksilver in tube can make hot wealth
er by going up a little 51BlrsH reiEsE
Motto for married men whose domestic cir
Giles are agitated-"We want peace. How to
get it-get out of the house. fel47
A gentleman, endowed with great deal of
brass. desires to meet with lady possessing a
corresponding amount OF TIN.
Montgomery Weeks died in his boarding.
house in Hartford. It was matter of Weeks
board, aggravated by the hash.
"He knows on which side his bread is butter
ed is now rendered, He IS aware ON what
portion of the staff of life the oleaginous pro
duce of the dairy is dispursed."
A life insurance agent applied to Texan to
sstake out policy" but the Texan replied
"a fellows life is SO confoundedly uncertain in
this country it amt worth insurlng.
An Irishman noticing woman passing a.
long the street, spied two strips Dope nding
from under the lady's cloak. Not knowing
that these were styled 'sashes, and were hang
ing in their right place, he exclaimed, Faith,
ma am, your gallasses are united.
Augusta produces four staples, as shown at
the late fair, viz: men, women, sorghum and
horses. SAKE says:
1.-The first are strong the last are fleet,
The second and third are exceedingly sweet,
And all are uneommonly hard to beat.
Strade or Stoaling-a frs raft red cow chaw
ed oph by dorgs koas up tn the tale and GERS
ditto. a ienuyrus pubhk will plees drive hur
hoam as he'd tn pa fur this advertlssin.
iohanner dubbins
rockingham register plees copy
Mrs Darlington. addressed Isaac. while eat
ing dish of strawberries thus How grand
you are growing by nd by you will want to
live on umbrella Ice cream. You mustn't be so
glutinous, dear. don't like to see little boy
with SIGH velocity Of appetite.
State of the Fncastle Markets -Breadstuffs,
rising every day; gunpowder, goes off easily !;
bitter beer, this article has downward tenden-
cy; indigo, the trade is dyeing picked pork,
dead and very Inactive brandy, very spirited !;
vermilion, finds reddy sale; nutmegs in gra-
ter demand soda water, brisk and lively; lead,
very heavy.
A young Jonathan took it into his bead one
day to get wife. He accordingly looked about
him, and very soon made such selection as
suited him, and was not long in striking bar
gain and settling the preiminaries. He then
applied to clergyman to perform the ceremo-
'But are you prepared for such an important
change in life!'' said the reverend gentleman.
Il guess be, =" says Jonathan, for [ have
got my land just paid for and own good yoke
Of steers and COW.
Every well, said the holy man, with long
breath and sober face, ''all these worldly things
may be very proper in their place, to be sure !;
but have you ever thought of salvation"
This was poser. Sal Walton, says Joaa-
than, who in the thunder is she.