The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-07-30
From Chambers Journal.
The Parsons Fix.

but owing to one circumstance and anoth
er, we missed seeing most of them. Be
fore we had started on our round of re
turning visits | received friendly not,
from Mr. Chilmark, vicar in the neigh
borhood, stating that In former times h,
had known my father at colleges that h
had the rural dean and few friends com
! ing to dine with him on such a day, anC
that if my wife and would wave ceremo
| ny eve had not then returned his calD
Mrs. Chilmark, and he would be wei
pleased if we would join their dinner
party I should remark that my wife anC
/ had never seen Mr.. or Mrs. Chilmark
we were out in the parish when they
called on us. They lived about three
miles On the other side of the town of Wa
from which we were two miles distant
In those days l did not keep a close car.
raige, but drove my wife in an open wag
onette I did not know the country at all
well, but having studied the map, and got
directions from all acquaintance, | had
little doubt but that, with the help of a
young moon, should find my way
1t so happened that the night of No
vember Is, 1856, was very foggy; the
moon was hardly of any use to us. We
could find our way to the town of W. all
right, because it was turnpike road, and
| was acquainted with it; but with regard
to the other side of the town and the
crossroads, l hardly knew what to do. /
made up my mind to see if | could get on
at all and if found myself in the least
degree puzzled, determined to go back,
and get hostler from the town to act as
a guide. AS we were leaving w, and
about to drive through turnpike, well
appointed carriage overlook us, and
passed through the gate just before US. l
asked the woman at the gate whose car
riage it was.
"Mr Singleton's,' she replied.
GLOW fortunate" exclaimed my wife
that is the rural dean. We know he is
going to dine with the Chilmarks, so you
have only to follow close upon him. and
we shall be all right
Acting on my wife's bright suggestion,
Luckily my horse was good one. Occa-
sionally, when near water, we seemed to
be plunging through darkness, SO thick
was the fog. However, all went well,and
and at last [ was glad to follow the car
rage before me through an avenue up to
a large house, whose hall was blazing with
light and resplendent with the liveries of
the sevants. We did not take much notice
then of these things; but as l Invested
myself of my wraps, and my wife was put
ting herself straight in some back room,
could not help envying Mr.. Chilmark, and
that his living must be an ex-
ceedingly good one, as he was able to have
things in such good style
In few minutes we were ushered into
the drawing-room, the butler making, as
usual, some blunder about our names when
u.s. Mr. and Mrs. Chilmark
came forward and kindly accosted us. My
wife was installed on "a sofa near the fire,
and formed one Of a knot Of gentleman
in the back ground. We were a
large party, about twenty in number, and
rs the butler left the room, | thought l
heard Mrs Chilmark give the order "Din-
ner" A few dull moments as usual before
that meal, when suddenly an electrical
shock of curious nature was communi-
Gated to the majority assembled in the
The door was opened and
instead Of dinner being announced, the
1utler ushered Mr. and Mrs Templeton
There did not appear to me 10 be any
hing unusual in this, but evidently great
was created. Persons looked
at my wife and myself, and at last
Mr.. Chilmark touched me on the shoulder,
saying MAY speak word with you
n the library ?" | followed, and noticed
ny host, in crossing the hall, say some
hing to one of the servants
AS soon as we were closeted together,
Mr.. Chilmark's manner changed at once.
'Now, sir, said he to me what is the
meaning of all this? Who are you, really?
Where do you come from % Of course |
vas surprised; and wishing my fathers
1eppery friend, Mr. Chilmark on the 9th
n side of the globe, l calmly stated who
was and reminded him of his invita-
ion
81 invite you, sirr' he roared: "you-you
-you'-He bit his lip to check his angry
words.
Eyes, sir" Ireplied, "you did, and you
asked also Mr. Singleton, the rural dean,
md have come not exactly with him, but
ust after him."
"Stop, sir nomore lies.
"Excuse me, SIR Ireplied zone more
word and | have done. Either you are
drunk or you are mad. do
lot care to dine with either drunkard or
shall call my wife out of the
and beg to wish you good
Excuse me, sir," he Kissed through his
:eeth, while he placed himself betweenme
md the door, "you will not get off soeasily
7oung man."
Now this was pleasant predicament
nus to be closeted with mailman.
"Pray may ask what on earth you
nean," said /.
"Pray, may I ask what on earth you
nean," he replied. "Do you know who l
you are ?"
eyes; you are Mr.. Chilmark, the rector
If -, very old friend of my father,
he late Mr.. Temple, of -; am stand
ng in your library at your rectory, having
been asked here to dine; and upon my
word, the sooner get out of your hospit-
lble house, and cut your acquaintance for
good, the better shall be pleased"
He grinned horribly as 1 spoke and
said; 81 am Lord Clayton This is Clay
Ion castle. I never asked You to dine
md, in short, you are a scamp have al
ready sent for policeman, and, until he
arrives, you shall not leave this room"
"Well," I thought, "thank goodness be
mas sent for policeman; SO ere long l
shall get rid of this madman's society"
What to do I knew not | fixed my eye
On him, and tried to master him by star
ing him out of countenance. We were
both silent for few moments. At last my
friend said to me : "Your tale is ingenious
young man; but it breaks down. If you
were going to dine with Mr.. Chilmark at
- rectory, how come you to be here, a
distance of six miles from your pretended
destination.
then explained that I knew the real
dean, Mr. Singleton, was going to dine
with Mr.. Chilmark-that l was astranger
in the county, and was not acquainted
with the roads that the turnpike woman
told me it was Mr.. Singleton's carriage
which passed US at the gate, and that |
had followed it and consequently found