The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1868-11-17
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
N0seaI HistoFy-.Snails, Ansie.Worms, and
Trcetudss

Trcetuds.
SNAILs are kind of amphibious oys-
ter born on land, ov reputable parents:
but able tew' live for time under water
il circumstances seem to require it.
They live in an earthen house. not
unlike. in design, a fireman's cap
rhare liz two kind OF snails, the hard
shell and the soft shell. The soft shell
resembles a piece Of calls liver, cut
rounding. and gifted with crawl
This calm and innocent critter il ov
no moral or phisikal power, not az we
know ov, and if it wasn't for the mis-
terious knowledge ov Providence, "who
doeth all things WE'LL" it would make
q foreordained yankee sweat tew guess
jist what they was dedkated to.
In sum torria parts they are ct for
food, but it would take a crate deal ov
pepper sass to lokate them in mi STUN
muk and keep them thare
The soft snail il slippery cuss, free
from bones. and slo gated, travelling
about six inches in cool day, and
makes it home, WHARF things are damp,
They are ov sweet disposhun, and
don't git mad tare up the morning pa
per if things dou't happen to be jist SO.
They live On what would be other
wise wasted, which speaks well for the
ekonomy ov the snail.
The harI ohoJI snail eof1,co I.,s,aa
home. and when they do. they don't
lock up their house and put the key un
der the door mat, but take their house
with them On their backs. Thare is no
house bigg enuff for 2 snails ; the snails
understand this, and don't take emmy
body to board with them and kick up
muses.
Anvil animals are sound On this iden-
tikal gooser; they don't never bid a
house that they kant fill.
Here end the natral snail.
=
Angleworms are ov arth, arthy, and
crawl for a living. They liv in rich
ground; ground that won't raize angle
worms won't rsize enything else. aud
where angleworms rejoice. corn is sure
to he bully. If yu want your angle
wsrms ov emmy size. yu manure your
sile. Thare amt nothing on arth more
miserable tew ponder over and weep
about than half starved angleworm.
Angleworms are sure crop on good
sile, and handy tew hoe, for they plant
and harvest themselfs. They don't take
up much room in the ground, and are
ez kind to children ez piece of red
tape.
It IL sed by naturalists that angle
worm lie, rubbed on the rear ov the
neck. will kure man ov the lies.
don't beleave this, unless it kills the
man. Death liz the only reliable heal
for Icing that has been discovered yet.
When lieing gifts into mans blood.
the only way to sit it out is to drain him
dry.
Angleworms are used ez an article of
diet to ketch fish With they are handy
10 put Onto u NOOK, anu nanny 10 take
oph, as ennybody knows. who has strad
died saw log and ishcd for daise al
Gay long Sunday in mill pond
Old fisherman alwus carry their
worms in their mouth
Angleworms live in round hole
which they fit like gimbIet, and ar,
different from aul other creeps that
know ov, for they alwus back into thar
holes.
Here the natral angleworm ends.
Treetuds are the only tuds ov aul the
tud family who can kline tree.
How they do it IL an unfathon abl
mystery-almcst equal tew the milk il
the koker nut.
Philosophers awl agree that the mill
is put into the koker nut, and thea tn
hole is neatly stopped up. but who tn
f.sllow ia vho dur IL thu nh;loao0h q r.