Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-08-19

Berk1nS.
The next act of Mr.. Titters was to OBJ
tain boarding house. On account OF
his bashfulness, ne was desirous OF get
ting accommodations in small family
where there were 10 other boarders; to
accomplish this end he had recourse to
the advertising columns of the Herotd
where he inserted the following notice.
aboard TAINTED "A young man from
the country wishes to obtain board In
small family where there are no other
boarders. The price must be moderate.
Address J. T., this office"
Mrs. Hannah Pollard, widow, and her
daughter Betsey, spinster, were sitting
at opposite sides of the breakfast table,
talking-as women are wont to talk-of
matrimony, and they thought it strange
that Miss Betscy never bad suitor,
never had opportunity to decline or ac-
cept an offer. Her mother was the only
person to whom this young lady admitted
that she never had a beau; to any one
else she would have said that she has re-
iected dozen kneeling lovers. For seven
years she had reported her age as nine
teen and it became an old story, but un-
like some old stories it began to be doubt
ed. During this mornings conversation
they had endeavored to devise some
means by which the younger lady could
be rescued from the threatening paths Of
maidenhood, and a safe passage secured
for her into the state matrimonial
Scores of schemes were proposed and in
their turn rejected as not being certain
and effective. At last a brilliant idea
burst upon Miss Pollard, and she exclaim-
ed, smiling:
"Why mother, it's Leap Year!'
"Yes my dear, but what of it 2"
"I was thinking that by the right man
agement might get husband"
$50 you might" replied tie mother,
apparently quite elated. "But you had
better try stranger, some one from the
country
II would try most any expedient whore
there was shadow Of chance Of success.
But here is the newspaper, and she step
ped from the room to meet the news man,
and returning with itopened, continued,
81 wonder if any one has advertised for
wife ?" If there has, I'm good mind
to answer it,"
"Don't disgrace yourself and your fam
ily, my dear"
80, here is chance, mother" and the
maiden read from her paper the advertise
ment of Mr. Job Titters.
"Let me see," said the widow, and she
took the par er from her daughters hand,
read the advertisement over two or three
times very attentively, then said, "He's a
stranger,-can be had for the asking
write to him, my dear"
The corner of the cloth of the break
f;st-table was turned up bottle of ink,
pen and half-dozen sheets of writing
paper produced; and after several hours
hard labor, the mother and daughter con-
cocted the following reply to the adyer-
tisement of the bashful Titters.
"26 Chinchilla Court, Boston.
January 5th, 1868.
DEAR SIR:-While perusing the col
umns Of her mornings paper, my mother
read your advertisement and she has dele
gated me to write. to you. We are alone
in the world, and since the death of my
father, which took fsevere hold of my
mother, we have been into the world but
little, and for that reason I'VE often feel
the want Of the society OF one who min
giles in the busy life around US. To a
moral young man we would offer all the
comforts of home, not so much for a
pecuniary recompense which could be
derived from it, but more for the sake Of
adding cheer to our freside. IF you
think that our home would suit you, We
should be happy to receive call from
you between the hours of two and four
P NJ. today or tomorrow.
Yours, for my mother,
BETsEY POLLARD"
The next afternoon, Titters honored
himself by calling upon the Pollards.
He introduced himself to the mother
with a great deal of stammering and blush
ing, who received him with profus ion
o f smiles, and in her turn introduced him
to her daughter when he blushed worse
than before.
"Happy to see you, sir" simpered
Betsey.
eyes, very fine afternoon" stammered
Job. It was showing furiously at the
time.