The New Orleans crescent., 1868-12-06

By PEsRYs PEsSIFEATHER.
ESSAY FIVE.
F 3 o G s

ESSAY FIVE. .-.-r
FROGS.
To begin at the beginning.
The tadpole is thing which, like many another
beginning (e. G. q small bsbyl is nice aud sweet
a. long as he continues to be a tadpole. But
when he gets TO putting on airs aud commences
to be a frog, there are few animated beings which
/ had not rather have round my domestic hearth.
The frog is bOisterous. insoent and vain. he
is proud of his personal appearance and Duifed
up as Bologna sausage. A frog is unrighteons-
ness, and he is introduced into the Old Testa-
ment as q plague. SO II you don't believe what's
in the Bible all I've got to say is, you are as bad
as an infidel who provideth not for his own family.
No on my soul, believe I'm wrong.
II is the infdel who Goes provide for his re-
spoDsibilities. The man who don't, Is the be-
nehted creature who fails to insure his life in the
Grand Universal Mutual Sefsustaning Buy-your-
self-rch Non -forfeitable Life Insurance Company;
policies issued at ell hours, and pay you for tax
ing them.
The frog sits on log aud sings at midnight
when the wesried world desires repose-hence
be Is q nuisance. -rs
Not only does be do this, but worse " than
this than these. than all !" he induces enterpris
ing "Csjens" to impale him on the point Of
irog-spesr; and furthermore, to sell him TO the
restaurants-and furthermore, on one occasion |
ate piece Of one for chicken-aud furthermore,
was unutterably disguised when found out it
was frog-and that's Why hate frogs and ever
shall.
The frog is bug whose merits must be seen to
be appreciated. For my part, having been IN.
able to see them. / don't appreciate them SO
highly as perhaps might If did, or as If things
were quite the reverse Of what they are, or in
fact entirely different. hope make my mean
ing clear. (Pilkins suggests that 1t is very clear
clear out OF sight; but Pilkins never did get
correctly at the humor cantained in these papers.
Indeed it requires persons of no ordinary
cultivation, in the first place, to thoroughly en-
ion hic ind nf fuu 7 iu af md
so unassuming, il insinuates itself into your
tickleabilites before you know it but il you are
insensiDle dolt, as fear many of my readers
are, why, then, you lose the whole good OF 1t;
for you fail to see where the joke Is.
| Now all this talk about frogs, have no doubt
| there are many meh, and even, some women,
who will read, and think it is an attempt TO be
funny. You wouldn't be more mistaken if you
| were to accuse your grandmother of dancing
a hornpipe for her private amusement. It's
nothing OF the kind.
Well, what is il do you say?
Ah.h.h thought I'd have you on that turn.
That's it-there's the rub What is it!
But let's go On, and may be you'll find out after
| reading-you may have to reflect moment or
| so-but for philosophers land this essay is ad
dressed to them) that will be merely pleasant
| recreation.
Speaking of recreation, and before we re-
| turn 10 frogs, the most profitable recrea.
! ton am acquainted with is 0utOJrdphy,
| (this is derived from the Greek. but
u
man who once got fifty thousand dollars for writ
| ing his and he can do it again almost any day he
| hkes-during certain months OF the year, that is
% things at present stand-and the name amt
"good namen at that. All he has TO do is to write
his name and put four letters in front of it.
| o, T, E, V, the letters are, only they run the
| other way; as the man would have liked 10 have
done in view of a torch-light procession some time
back, but understood he saw man. who told
him he oughn't-and accordingly he oughtn'ted.
Frogs, like other things, are not all alike-es-
| pecislly in their gait. Some walk, some leap,
| some jump, some swim, some dive, some run, and
| some go Kerchunk" right headforemosta and hide
under the sticks at the bottom, or come up next to
the bank and poke their heads out and look as if
| they thought you were going to come in without
being asked. In short. they vary much as to
their gait, hence are said to be vsre gated; by
| which il is meant that they all over n spots
| and nowhere long. In arguing, when frog does
/ argue. he generally uses the per sGhuDl method,
| something like grasshopper who starts with his
head E.. and lands fronting s. W. by s. N.
The frog lie, by nature, an aristocrat He de-
lights in classes. / don't mean the classes at the
frog snging-school held every evening, about a
hundred and fifty yards from my chamberlain
dow, sweet" and the chorusses of which float on
the breezes of the evening, and remind me of
| Brek-ke-ke-kex.koax and Aristophanes-eh no!
Its classes of ssciety--frst. second and third
class-6On tOn-beGu monde-high jiuks-and
hooppy cockleorums-tha have reference to-
There is the Bull Frog and the Cow Frog. the
| fTOR DuttO1, tne Tree frog, lne HORSE e'IOol
Frog, the Horned Frog the Frog-sticker, and the
| Fricasseed Frog-to say nothing of the Frog he
| would a wooiDg ride" !" and the Toad Frog.
Ali these differ " even as one star differeth ~
and fine respectable Bull Frog would more
| be seen assOciating with Horse's-foot Frog than
you or Mr.. Editor, would think Of asking to din
that man who lost ali he had by the war and is
now driving a " Camp and Prytanis" street car to
| reed his wife and children. This frog msunder-
standing, though is an old thing it is feud of long
ago; and heavy responsibility would be incurred
by the rash Bull Frog who should undertake the
burden OF it's taking off. In old times one of the
! fret OF the Bull Frogs made acquaintance with a
| Horse's-foOt Frog, and the consequence was
crushiDg-in short, it squelched him. Heperished
| on the spot "a grease spot-which has never been
erased from the memory of race which. though
| Dgly and venomous, yet precious seldom to duel
| bsres its head-as my friend, Mr.. Pilkns, so en-
ergetically remarked to the bed-post the other
| EVENING"
You may say whatyou please, (as you probably
| will dear reader, in the absence of any ona to
| punch your head for SO doiDg,) but being frog,
has its advantages. A frog needs no mosquito
| bars, (por would with such lot of sand-bars
lying round loose.) frog has a heart to feel for
others woes-that is, I've never seen it mathe.
matcally proved that he hasn't. frog can
never be guilty of the unrefned practice of going
to bed with his boots on. and | never heard of a
frogs being looked at unpleasantly aud having to
find bis own slippers because he couldn't buy his
| wife new bonnet.
The frog may be sneered at and criticised by a
| prejudiced world. but do contend and will assert
with my dying breath If necessary not only that
| being frog has its advantages, but furthermore
| that
| Full many frog is borne to blush unseen.
And waste bis sweetness when he any) the desert
AT least never heard of one being caught at it.
Jxppt q. IL, es.