Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-12-10
WIT AND HuMoR.

mencement Of the quarter in Paris
gentleman came to the proprietol
ola house and commenced the fol
J lowing conversation:
"One of my friends who is unabl,
, to come himself on account of ill
ness, has sentsme to lent for hin
, the second story of your house"
"Your friend is not married, III
: has no children?"
"No, SIR"
"Iwill accept him only on those
conditions. My house is very quiet;
and to make sure, you will please be
good enough to mention in the con-
Il act that the tenant is bachelor"
/ The sick mans agent agreed to
these terms, and, by virtue of his
power of attorney, signed lease of
three years. -4it-
When the day for taking posses
sion Of the house came, four children
the eldest of whom was not over ten,
arrived with the furniture. On learn
ing this, the proprietor rushed out
in rage, and, addressing the off,
clous friend, who was experimenting
the transportation of the furniture,
reminded him of the special contract
in the lease.
my dear sir, you have rented the
apartments to my eldest son, that
young lad who is sucking barley SUI
gar at the foot of the stairway. l
assure you that he is not married,
nor is he the father Of a family. You
have nothing to fear from his
children for long time to come: he
only extends TO his parents and his
brothers that hospitality which your
signature authorizes him to exercise
for the next three years"
Paying visit to lady friend re-
siding in one of our suburban villa
ges, and who was about applying for
situation in one of their public
schools, ] was induced to accompa-
ny her to the place Of the examina-
ton.
Then and there witnessed for the
first time, one of those ludicrous
performances which sometimes hap
pen previous to the opening of our
schools.
After waiting about an hour, a
busting little man appeared ard
summoned the candidates into an ad-
joining room.
was favored with = side seat,
which greatly enhanced my pleasure,
as could distinctly see all that
transpired on both sides OF the room.
The desk was occupied by some half
a dozen persons who seemed any
thing but happy. They could not
determine upon the proper person
to open the play, but finally agreed
upon the oldest.
The man arose, made step or
two forward, raised his eyes implo-
ringly, groaned painfully, bowed aw
fully and spoke:
Ladies, ! pleeve You ali vonts to
make Won school? Veil, den, you
moost yust dell me al. lie tings vot l
axes you, und den l viii fird der one
blaze for you, and make de school.
Shpeek out lout und blain, und be
no frait."
"Now dell me ven vas der vite
bear dishcevcrt?"
Ne answer.
'.Tat ish too hart. Veil, ven you
goesin der market und by a dimes
wort Of sauer kraut for a pigune,
how moosh shange moosht you get
back"
No answer.
"Tat ish too hart, too. Veil, how
you would spell croompsher NIT der
English"
Potato" said pert little miss
of fifteen.
Good, fooehtrate. Now dell me
yos is der name Of der shtick vot go |
troo der middle of Ger vorlt to hang
him upon?"
No answer.
lyon more now, und ] pc finish.
Der hat Won pook vot make der pee
pies talk fcrshtrate, und be preut,
und say nice things. like der breech-
er. Vot ish der name Of der Won
Look?"
"Grammar," said our pert little
Miss.
"Coot, coot as clabber shecse; und
because you are der shmartest, und
der incest trest, und because you ish
IL inc coot trent the peer mans tauter
you may make Won school; und all
dem as don't KIN ow nutf can yust &C
to home ana larn some more"
want saw, sir.
What saucer?
Why, the saw, sir, that you bor-
rowed. - .,sfaff Mo-
/ borrowed no saucer.
Sure, you did, sir; you borrowed