Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-12-08
Josh Billings on Kissing.

one ana they dldn satisfy me, nor QeW tnlnK
this one will (; for the more man undertakes
tew tell about kiss the more he will reduce his
ignorance to silence.
You can't anaiize kiss emmy more than you
ken the breath of -four. You kant tell what
makes kiss taste so good any more than you
can peach
Emmy man who can set down where it is cool,
and tell how kiss tastes, haint got any more
real favor to his mouth than q knot-hole haz.
Such fellow wouldn't hesitate to describe
Paradise as fust rate place for gardin sass.
The only way tew describe kiss is tew take
l, and then sit down, all alone, out 0v the draft
and smack your lips.
If you kant salty yourself how kiss tastes
without taking another one, how on erth can
you define it tew the neEt man?
| have herd writers talk about the eekstatic
bliss there was in kiss, and they really seem
to think tina new ali about 1T, but these are the
same kind Of folkes who prespire and kry when
they read poetry. and they fall tew writing some
of their own, and think they hev found out how.
want it understood that | am talking about
pure emotional kissing, that is born ln the
heart and flies up tew the lips, just like
hummng bird tew her roost.
am not talking about your lazy, milk-and-
molasses kissing, that daubs the face of emmy
body, nor your savage bite that goes around like
a roaring lion in search of sumthing to eat
Kissing an unwilling pair of lips is az mean
a yiktory az Robin birds pest, and kissing
too willing ones IL about az unfragrant reoreat-
ing az making bouquets out Of dandellons
The kind NV kissing that [ am talking about
IL the kind that must do it Or spile
If yu search the rekords ever SO lively, you
kant find the author Of the fust kiss kissing,
like many other good things, is anonymous.
But there IL SIGH natur in it, SIGH world ov
language without words, SIGH heap OF pathos
without fuss, so much honey and SO little water,
so cheap, SO sudden and so neat mode OF strlk-
ing up an acquaintance. that | consider 1t
good purchase that Adam give and got the fuss
kiss.
Who kan imagine greater lump of earthly
bliss reduced to finer thing than kissing the
only woman on earth in the garden ov Eden.
Adam want the man, don't believe, tew
pass SIGH hand
An Example.
We know young man, native OF Nllssls-
sppi. who was born to af1uence, as his great
grandfather, Virginia gentleman, had been
before him. He was about seventeen years
old when the war ended; up TO which time he
had lived in a luxurious home, his father before
the war having yearly income Of not less than
thirty Thousand dollars in gold, all of which he
spent on his home and its inmates. His chill
dren lever had wish for anything that money
could buy that it was not anticipated. The
war left the father with nothing but his land ;
! for both armies had passed near his plantation,
and his stock and household furniture had dis
ppeared-passed, what was left, under the
auctioncer's hammer for Confederate money
And even the land was not his, for old security
debts claimed and obtained mortgage on that.
What did our young hero, for he is worthy
| of the name, under such circumstances?
He took his hands out of his pockets and put
them to the plow. By his individual labor he
planted and cultivated five acres of cotton and
! fifteen of corn, besides an acre Or two in pop
corn and peanuts.
Work was hard for him at frst-very hard.
AS he told the writer Il thought l never
would learn to hoe. Ny hands would pain me
so that would almost wesp, but before the
summer was out | could hoe a row with the
best hand in Mississippi.
He had good land, bringing full bale of cot
ton or thirty to thirty five bushels of corn to
the acre. and his year work has Melted him
from $500 to SlG01. He is now going to school
in Virginia on the proceeds.
Were the example of that young man follow
ed generally by our southern youth how rap
idly this country would recuperate and enjoy
material prosperity unknown to 1t In the past.
Mobile Tribune.
ELOQUENT EXTRACT The following elo
ouent extract is taken from an editorial in Fa-
Their Ryan's Banner of the South:
There are men who desert the affairs OF a lost
cause round which they once stood with the
blood in their hearts painting for libatlon, and
who kneel to offer homage ct the altar OF sue
cessful wrong. There are men who trampe
under foot the very standards that once Hoatsd
proudly over them There are men base enough
to lift their hands against the very right for
which they once uplifted swords. We are not
SUCH For us principle is principle, right is
right-yesterday- day-to morrow--torever
Submission to might is not surrender Of right
We yield to the one, but shall never yield to
the other
Coffee is said to be an antidote to the poison
of nicotine. and is therefore great refresher to
smokers. This ACCOUNTS for the Turks smoking
all day with impunity. After every puff, they
take sip of coffee. They appreciate the good
effects without knowing the reason.
Goal is coal now, - said coal merchant to
a man who was demonstrating with him upon
its high price.