National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1868-12-25

awhile the story touches the ludi
crous. They tell you that they feel
so faint i'll the morning, and have
such poor appetite at noon, and can,
not sleep nights and have twitches
in their side, and lumbago in their
back, and swelling in their feet, and
ringing in their ears, and little dots
floating before their eyes; and
have taken ammOniacum, tlncture
of cantharides, hyGragogue julcp,
anthelmintic powder, golden syrup
of antimony, leaves OF scordium,
and, Indeed all hepatics, carmina,
tives, antifebriles, antiscorbutics,
splenetics, anthritic-, stomachics,
ophthalmics they have gargled
their throats with sal ammoniac,
and bathed their back with sapon-
aeeOus liniment, and worn discuti-
ent cataplasms. That very moment
they are chewing chamomile flowers
to settle their stomachs, and excuse
themselves for moment 10 take Oft
a mustard plaster that begins to
blister. They come back to eX-
press the fear that the swelling on
their arm will be an abscess, or their
headache turn to brain fever. They
shake out from their handkerchief
delicate odors of valerian and assa-
fptida. They are the harvest OF
druggists and the amazement of
| physicians, who no sooner clear the
pain from Cne spot than it appears
i'll another. If one joint loses the
pang another joint gets it, and the
patient having long ago resolved
never again to be well, it is only Il
question between membrane and
| lnidriti.
AT times we should talk over cur
dlstresses and seek sympathy, but
perpetual discourse on such themes
wears out the patience of our friends.
You always see the young people
run from the groaning valctudina-
rian; and the minister fails in his
coincidence, for why speak of the
patience of Job to one who says that
boiis are nething to bis di>tresses.
The hobby he rides is wcuaded and
scabbed and torn with all the dis.
eases mentioned in fatriery, CLAN.
ders Eotts, foot.rot, SPAWN, ring
bone, and kings evil Mcurable
nags are taken out on the commons
and killed, but this poor hobby jogs
on with no hope on the other side
of the Red Sea of joining Pharaoh's
horses. The more it limps, and the
, haTler it brcaihS. T '"St"r they
We next refer to reformatory hob
bics. We believe in the doctrines
of teetotalism. In glass of ice
water. our only beverage, we drink
to the success of that cause. We
advocate the Mainelaw. In all ap
propriate times and places We are
ready to fight Drunkenness. 1t has
dug its trench across the land and
filled it with the best blood of the
nation. But some of our friends
Lave been turned into temperance
monomauiacs. They would have
temperance cars, and temperance
stages, and temperance steamboats,
none to ride i'll them but teetotalers
They have actually proposed milk e
to take the place Of wine at the sac
rament. They would make the tax
lug of the pledge prerequisite o
church membership. They have NJ
mercy for the man who has cham
pagnc on his table. They would ic
IA man die of typhoid, before they
would give him drop of Burgundy
They have dwclt upon the one cvl
till all others are submerged and for
gotten. They have horrid night
mares of demijohn and dccanter.-
They talk rs though, if a man clear
: ed the whiskey cask, he was SAT
for heaven; forgetful of the tac
that the only decent thing abou
thousands of men is that they d
: not drink. They would do that
:. they were not too stlngy. W
. knew u man who, to save expense
:. wheeled his wife to the grave on
:, wheel barrow. lie never drank
= We caught a man stealing watcl
!, melons from our patch. lie was
. teetotalcr. 1t would have been we
:, :, for us if he had disliked melons q
= much as he did whiskey We hay
:, found strong advocates for apst
: nence III Noyamensing prison.
= So we lind enti toI@oconiSts @
" their hobby. They can tell you no
y, many miles of pistdIl have bee
- chewed in the last century, and no
- - many navics would be borne up !
the saliva il the Atlantic ocean EN-
~ tied of its water, could become Il
W spittoon of the nation. We adm
~ that it is not pleasant to SIT IN
~ ~ coach or ear with a chrwer betwe'
:" us and the wind, and ihe WIND bio
II ing toward us. ltlsas dlsagrceal
II, as preaching with a cold III yo
" head and no pocket handkerchief.
NJ We neither smoke nor chew.
Nv The only odor OF the weed III o
" house is from the cigars OF q
-, friends who come to see us. "A
80 yet we know of two or three III
u who went to heaven, we think, n
wv wv withstanding they were smokers
NC In their last sickness, whene'
ge they could sit up they took u CHI
'ot of tobacco. We have no sympat
with those who cannot unwrinl
IA their upper lip for a half hour af
- they have caught the breath OF