Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1868-08-07
StIetted aaltsrfllau,i.
MIR. AND MRS. SMITHS HEADACHES.
A LESSON FOR SOMEBODY.


"SUcH headache as / have!" groaned
Smith, as he entered the breakfast room,
with his hair rumpled his chest collapsed
and his back rounded out in the shape of
the letter G. "Such headacher
"Perhaps it was the cake you ate before
going to bed" remarked his wife, as she
poured the coffee.
Cake? There's nothing more whole
some than cake before going to bed, espe-
cially plum cake" answered Smith, drop
ping into his chair.
Mrs. Smith, feeling indisposed at that
matutinal hour for an argument, assented
"Try little tea" suggested she.
"Tea; an old maids remedy; notea for
me-"
"Well, coffee"
"Idon't think want anything" groaned
Smith. "Oh, dear! am going to have a
day of it."
Mrs. Smith had it on her tongues end
to say: "Well, that is the usual result of
a night of it, but she closed her teeth
and bit off the eXasperating and truthful
rejoinder.
"Isn't this room awful hot9" asked Mr..
Smith, opening six doors without waiting
for her reply, which, if uttered, would have
been that she was shivering with the
draughts.
Then seating himself at the table: Il
think l will have tea, Mrs Smith; it will
be sure to upset or cure me; it don't mat
ter which," he adds, with a despairing
groan; land 1 may as well eat piece of
beefstcak, while am about it, in for a
penny in for pound ; oh dear"
81 think I'll come and sit in your room,
Mary" said Smith to his wife, after tea and
beefsteak had gone down. "It looks nice
7 Al.
you when 1 have the headache"
Mary turned her back that he need not
see the smile lurking round her mouth at
the conclusion ofhis sentence, and brought
pillow to the sofa for his disorganized
head.
"Not that-no, not that: it will only
heat my head, oh dear Mary, Solemn
ly,) do you know think made mistake
in eating that beefsteak ?"
Mary, with a heroism which should
place her name in "FoX's Book of Mar
tyrs," did reply:
81 knew it at the the time, Smith, and
my only chance of preventing you from
eating it was to refrain from asking you
not to eat: so didn't say So" =
"Mary," said Smith, as she seated her
self to sewing, "don't you think should
feel better if had q jug of boiling water
at my feet?"
"Perhaps you would" said Mary, drop
ping her spools and thimbles and buttons
on the floor to hunt up the jug and hot
water herself for Smith had the opinion
that wife should attend personally to
these things, although three great big SER
wants might sit sucking their thumbs in
the kitchen and cooking their heels on
the range. Ell.
"Perhaps you would"
MARY" asked Smith, after this ar
rangement was carried out, "don't you
think this bottle might be pushed little
closer? don't feel it, except on one
foot"
eyes" said Mary dropping her work
once more. "Is that right?"
"Oh, yes" answered Smith, rolling his
left eye in ecstacy, as the heat penetrated
the soles of his feet; how nice it is to
have you round when am sick"
The same funny look came again round
the corners of Mary's mouth, but Smith,
bless his obtuse soul, didn't see it.
Mary" said Smith, 81 think could go
to sleep now if you would close those cur
tains and things, and carry that bird
down stairs, and shut out the light"
-"Yes,' said Mary, "and I'll take my
sewing in the next ROOM" '''a4@
"Do," said Smith. ...
And gathering up her work basket and
Smiths pants, that had several vital but
tons missing, and which he wished re-
placed, Mary departed.
MARY" said Smith, suddenly appear
ing at the door of the room where she had
seated herself, with his hair rampant and
blanket shawl sticking to his back, ats
no use. don't feel bit better. I'm sure
] don't know what to do Do you really
think it was the cake?"
Mary's patience was waning. "I know
it, John-it always makes you sick. Don't
you recollect | asked you not to eat it at
the timer"
"Well, all can say is" said Smith, 81
don't believe it. Oh dear, where are the
morning papers?"
That was another way of asking Mary
to read them to him, which she did, and
without saying, as Smith said on similar
occasions:
"Oh, there's nothing in the papers this
morning but the same old tariff discus.
sions; in fact, they are quite dull--here
they are-perhaps you can pick out some
thing for yourself"
Blessed be the Lord At twelve Smith
sank into the arms of Morpheus and slept
till three; bat alas waking, begged for
his wife and a wash-bowl Both were
forthcoming, as also the expected result
The rest of the day till dark, the blinds
were opened and shut the bottle of hoi
water on and off duty; and Mrs. Smith
stayed by to zee him be sick. About seven
in the evening he despairingly signifed
his wish to retire, adding;
"I suppose, of course, you don't fee!
sleepy at ally"
mo" said Mary, looking from the
window at a lovely moon that was just