The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-02-11
Miscellany.
what Is Little Boy Thought about
Things.

l am little boy about so many years old:
don't know whether Pm good little boy,
but I'm afraid not, for sometimes do wicked
things, and once cut sisters kittens tail off
with the chopping knife and told her a big
dog came along and bit it of and swallowed
il down before kitty could say Jack Robinson
and sister said she was sorry and it must have
been very naughty dog, but mother did not
believe me and said she was afraid had told
a lie, and I'm afraid had. So then she ask
ed me If ! knew where liars went to and
said yes-that they went to New York and
wrote for the newspapers; she said no--but
lake OF fire and birthstone, and she asked me
IL 4 would like to go there and said no, for
I didn't think there would be much skating
or sliding on that lake, and the boys couldn't
SNOWFALL either on shore, and she said it was
more than that, just as though that wasn't
bal enough, for don't think they can play
base ball nuther. Then she asked me it I
wouldn't like to be nangel and have harp,
and | said no, I'd rather be stage driver
and have big drum, for couldn't play on
t'other thing So shouldn't like to be a
nangel, for their wings must be in the way
whensthey 60 swimming and play tag and
leap frog, and besides it must be hard to
fly when one amt accustomed to it. But it
would be jolly to be stage driver and
have agreaJ long whip aud touch up the
leaders, and say sglang there, what are We
uOlu Ou L ike Ctldb mucQ better n
nyin'; and then mother said there was a
dreadful stage Of sin, and Bob hollered and
said that he guessed i was on it," and then
she whipped us and sent US to bed without
any supper, but L didn't care for any supper,
Tor they hadn't nothin' but bread and butter
and tea, and Bob and ] got up and he lifted
me in at the pantry window, aud we got
mInce pie and awhole hat full of doughnuts
and they thought il was the cook that stole
'pm and sent her tha no t Haxy Vl ~
said he was glad OF it, for she didn't make
good pies, and the doughnuts wasn't fried
enough, and sometimes l do swear, for | said
by goily the other day, and sister heard me.
and she told mother, and mother said was
bad boy and would bring her gray hairs to the
grave, and she whipped me, but don't think
II did her gray hairs any cool. and If
hurt me, and when gotup stairs saidgoff
darn it, but l said it so she didn't hear me.
and when she asked me if | didn't think
was very wicked, said l was afraid | was.
and was sorry for it, and wouldn't do so any
more, and then she said I was. good little
boy, and told me about George WASHINGTON
who cut down the apple tree, and was caught
at it, and said he did it with his little Ratchet,
just as though hadn't heard all about it be-
lore, and didn't always think he was a big
stupid for cutting wood when they had a
hired man about the house, and lduI!in, his
little Ratchet, and besides it would hayk been
a great deal jollier to let the trees be SO as
he could have stole apples off in the fall. |
don't care ii he was the father of bis coun-
try, he wasn't smart, and l be. you the bows
in our schools would cheat him out of eve
teeth swoppin' jack-knves, and [ could lick |
him and hardly try, andI don't think hewas
very healthy either for never see good boy
that wasn't always sick and had the mumps
and measels, and the scarlet fever, and wasn't
coughing all the while, and hadn't to take
castor oil, and tar water, and couldn't eat
cherries, and didn't have to have his head
patted till the hair was rubbed Off by every-
body that came to his mothers, and be asked
how old he was, and who died TO save sinners,
aid what he'd been Studying at school, and
now far he'd got, and lots of other conum-
drums, and have to say his catechsm, no, I
shouldn't like to be a good little boy, I'd lust
as lief be q nangel and be done with it, don't
think ever shall be good little bow, and
otfer people don't think SO too, for want
never called good little boy but once, and
that was when my Uncle John asked me
where stood in my class, and told him it
was next to the head, and he said that was
flSht ana he gave me a quarter, and when he
asked me how many boys were in the class.
and l said there was only two, myself and
little girl, and then he wanted me to give him
back ms quarter and l wouldn't. and he
ran after me and stumbled over n chair and
ii.
he's been lame ever since, and I'm glad of |
IL, tor he isn't my father, and hasn't any right |
to lick me, for get enough of that at home
and the quarter wasn't a good one either. Il
don't like Uncle John, and guess he knows
1t, for he says l amt like any of the family.
and be says he expects I'll go to sea and be a
pirate instead OF a respectable member of
society, and | should not wonder, for I'd
rather he pirate than soap-boer like him |
and don't care ii be is rich, it's nasty busi |
ness: and lshan't have to be pirate either. |
Tor one can make lots of money without that
and they are always talking to me about be-
ing rich and respectable, and going to Congress
and being President, and all that sort O. thing.
but dont want tos beA President; there
is Lincoln he was President, and | guess
he's sorry for it now, and there's Andy John
son, guess be don't like it much either: and
fellow doesn't have to be respectable to be a |
Congressman, for there's John Morrissey. and
he has got rice curly hair and nice clothes.
and he don't do any work either; oh. know
how things are done; but there's Bob CALM
me, and we're goin' birds-nestin' for know
where there's a yaller birds nest chnck iuIIof
eggs; mother says its cruel and the birds don't
like it, that l wouldn't like to have my eggs
stole If | was bird, and 1 don't think 1
should, but amt bird, you know, and that
makes difference, and II you want to print
this you can, for next to being stage driver
and pirate I'd like to be an editor. for You
fellows don't have to tell the truth. and Won
can to circusses Without payin' =
Jo4y PAu1