The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-04-08
Stories About Reporters.

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| Stories About Reporters: "a
| A writer in Chambers Journal" says;
| Capital rtories are told Of the different va
rieties of provincial reporters, especially of
| those Of the old school, which is nov, happily,
passiny away, There is the 1rightful eager
reporter, VIII is always on duty, never forget
ting his mission One worthy Of this class
was reused from his snmhers one night by q
disturbance on his doorstep. His alarmed
spouse compelled him to descend and see what
the matter was, and on opening the door he
discovered man stretched across the TIRES
hold in fit. Mary, Mary cried he to bis
better halt, bring my notebook apd candle
directly, here's a paragraph e. me to the door.
Such eagerness for work as this shoWs it.
self in different ferns. An eptarpFising re-
porter had heard that Lord Palmerstoa was
to be present at an archery meeting in small
country village in Hampshire, and he ACCORD
ingly posted down to the place, and, like Mr..
Micawber, waited for sop,thing to turn up
Lord Palmerston 5 task was to distribute prizes
to some half dozen young ladies, and the whole
company present didn't number much above
score. His Lordship performed the task with
his usual grace and good humor, l dare say
giving the young ladies paternal pat on the
head, hut making only the most commonplace
observations Our steppgrapher, waited
apxiausly in his piape R4slls to his horror, he
saw the proceedings brought to close with
out speech from the Premier. This was
more then he could stand. He rushed from
his corner to the noble lord, who was getting
out Of the room as fast as he could MY Lord,
I beg your pardon, but really, this won DO
What do you mean, sir? was the reply Of the
astonished statesman. Why you've made no
speech, I've cone all the way from London to
report it, and must Aavea speech Of some
sort Whereupon it is on recQrd-ap4 this
story is true one-that the good tempered
old gentleman turned back and detained the
he gave them genial dissertation on the
good qualities of English weman in general
and Of Hampshire lasses in particular On
another occasion, however, he made up for
this complasiance. He was attending an agri-
cultufal dinner, and saw large gathering of
reporfsrs-for the times were critical, and a
speech of his cetain to be valuable. But he
had made up his niad na: to spesk-=pa man
knew better how to hold his taagae-apd ace
cordingy he silly sent down to the gentleman
OF the press asiip of paper, on which in his
bold, round hand was written the words, This
fish won't bite
"After the eager reporter comes the Howery
one, who has always been particularly great in
| small provincial towns, and who has at his COM
mand stock Of adjectives enough to make
Lord Macaulay hide his diminished head
| This gentleman is in his glory at foyer show,
an execution, a funeral, os ia fact, whenever
he has an opportunity of numbering the queens
| English. One specimen OF the school, when
writing about flower show-wh,chis always
horticultural and Roral disglay=sa;d that it
vas illuminated by carloads of sunshine
Another, a Liverpool worthy, in giving
an account Of somebody's funeral, observed
that the body Of the deceased gentleman was
followed to the grave by a silent and sympa-
thizlpg aAdieRce' lhave heard Of a para
graph which, with foraihle redundancy, was
entitled Funeral Of the remains OF a late de
ceased military eficer;' and have seen an &C
count Of penny-reading wound up with the
remark: 'The entertainment, was upon the
whole, the most mirthprovoking and soul
stirring which could be had for the money!
1.-The worst thing about the fowery reporter
is,that hs bas done so much to injure the
English language. II be can fud fine word
to express the same meaning as plain Qne, he
never hesitates to east iaside the latter; and II
he hears Of any barbareeus invention Of our
transatlantic cousins he straightway makes q
note Of it, and carefully laakes use oft at the
very first opportunity. His ideas, too, of the
meaning Of certain words are somewhat hasy.
Thus, q fatal accident is constantly spoken Of
by him as . fatality and bis aajectivas are
| applied in such AapAasard fashion that they
might almost have been scattered oyer his
copy with pepper caster The quantity of
bad French and Latin, too, which he Tugs into
all he writes, equals that made use Of by a
fashionable author twenty years ago. He has
ALMOST naturalized some foreign words amongst
US, aud has givin many a slang term perma-
nent place 10 our language Upon the whole
he is the m9st Questionable representative
Of the FepoFter's craft to be met with nova.
days."
| There is aroy r9ost near Lexington Ky.
where, from timc immeorial thqAsands o
crows have returned every night to Fqqst. Tie,
pome flying in long lines, aud "a 20 bed ii
the most systematic n manner, m#aEfAaaallsa ,!
leadeFs.