The Van Buren press., 1868-04-24
FREE MASONRY EXPOSED.
BY A VICTIM.

have iuincd the Masonic fraternity.
Mr. Editor, I'm free and excepted son or
brother, whatever it j., Of tha, ancient and
mysterious organization. | have belonged
to many secret societies in my time. I've
been an Orangeman, and Son OF Temper
ance. and Fenian, and if remember
Alright ! once belonged to a gang Of coiners,
but this Masonic arrangement, this insttu
ton of the compass and square, distances
them ALL | had often wondered what sort
Of thing Mason was--in what respect il
differed from an ordinary human being.
Time and again ! have pumped persons
who tn ought knew what was what, with
view of finding ont something regarding
these remarkable people, but it was no go.
9Td dWfs ana ha Tbd boie b6ose wo SoSn eoSd tell
for further information, was advised to go
and find out. | had vague idea of my
own, that Mason was sort Of super
natural being, a regular ring tailed roarer.
with horns and hoofs to match, who could
come down the chimney or get in the key
hole, and disappear like a streak of light
ning--a chap that could knock blazes out
of fellow with the wink of his eye, and
Of whom the very devil himself was afraid.
There is one singular thing connected
with Masonry of which you are perhaps not
aware, and that is, Mason never dies. DC.
casionally it is given ont that brother has
departed this life, and the fraternity is ro-
spcctfully summoned to do honor to his
remains. but it is all sham "a big swindle
got up to throw dust in the eyes of the un-
initiated. The coffin is stuffed full Of bricks,
and deposited with due solemnity in the
cemetery, while the brothers and friends
are blubbering their gricfs over the grave
of the dear departed, he is quietly enjoying
himself in the back room Of some hotel,
preparatory to leaving for parts unknown.
1t is fact, Mr. Editor. Masons never die.
They may change their outward appearance,
and move off to other spheres, but as for
dying they don't do it. 1t is supposed by
some, after they have transacted enough
wickedness on this earth they are trans
formed into comets and metcors, and 90
wandering through space. kicking up shin
dies, and raising the devil generally, and a
great many people suppose that the last
meteoric display was nothing more nor
less than a Tree fight between some rival
lodges that had crossed each Others path ;
the different degrees they had acquired while
in the flesh.
Free Masonry is Of ancient date, as proved
by the tact that during the wet season Noah
used to hold lodge meetings in u corner OF
the Ark. He was obliged to give it up,
however owing to the curiosity Of Mrs
Noah, who, Notwithstanding the fact that
her husband placed couple Of lions and a
big crocodile at the door as outside guard,
came pretty near finding out the secret and
starting female lodge on her own hook.
| must tell you OF the perls and trials |
had to undergo to become u Mason. On
the evening in question, presented myself
at the poor OF the lodge room, No. 66.666,
sign OF the skull and cross. bones. was
conducted to ante-room, where five or six
melancholy chaps in sashes and embroidered
napkins were waiting to receive me. On
my ertradcc they al! got up and turned
back somersaults and then resumed their
seats. a big Eat fellow, who sat in the
middle, and who seemed to be proprietor,
then said, Sinner. from the outer world I.
advance = advanced, Will yon give
up everything to join us !? Not If know
it, said there is my wife and fourteen
fine .--' Another party here told mo TO
say yes. as it was merely matter OF torn.
SO | said yes give up everything
The fellows in the towels then groane1 and
said, its we'll Do you swear never to
reveal anything You may see or hear this
evening to any human being, nor to your
wife g snid, 'pon my word ! will not,
Thcy then examined my tccth. and felt my
muscles, and madc me put ont my tongue,
and then grouned nsain, ] said II you
don't rcrl we'll Ihavo got y little bottle here
,hnt---'. The fnt man here took the bot