Democratic enquirer. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1867-1873, 1868-07-09

| -
morning from the. paper, paragraph stat
ing that gang OF thirty desperate burglar
had been seen in our immediate neighbor
hood II took care to tear the paper in or
der 10 light cigar before any one had on
opportunity to discover that this parag
raph was wholly an invention of my own.
All brealuast-time diseoursed of robbery
and murder, until the female portion o.
my household was in delightful state o.
nervous apprehension. That night, wher
told my wife that the burglar alarms must
be placed on every door, she acquiesced
without the slightest hesitation.
In the morning, | made q point Of for.
getting to remove them. Consequently,
Aunt Jane, in opening her door, immediate
ly exploded one, and with direful scream
tainted away. She came to again in time,
and recovered sufficiently to explode sew
eral more in the course of the day.
For three days remained at home, and
devoted my whole time to secretly reload
ing the discharged alarms Like most OF
her sex, Clementina and her aunt were
wholly ignorant of firearms, and thought
they exploded without the aid of powder.
My share in promoting the discharges that
constantly rang through the house, remain
ed therefore. undetected. 1t was like q
protracted Fourth of July, for hourly the
stunning report of the alarm was echoed
by the gleeful shouts of the children, who
enjoyed the thing immensely. My aunt
grew so nervous, that she declared that she
dreaded to open door. Still, she said no.
thing about leaving us, and 1 began to fear
that her courage would outlast my powder,
when, on the third night of the campaign,
fortune came to my support in an unex-
pected and decisive manner.
In spite of the continuous statements
that read from the paper, detailing hor-
rible murders committed by desperate
burglars, Il rose an hour before my accus-
toned time each morning, in order to OBJ
tain possession of the paper,) l need not,
say that l totally disbelieved in the exist
ence of robbers in our neighborhood On
the night in question, however, was sud
denly awakened by the explosion of an
alarm apparently in the lower part of the
house ''Robbers at last, l whispered to
my wife, and rising hurriedly, threw on a
few clothes, and taking my revolver stole
softly to the head of the stairs.
1t was perfectly dark, and l could see
absolutely nothing but could distinctly
hear some one cropping his way along the
lower hall Convinced that it was in reality
case of burglary, suddenly called to the
fellow to surrender at once, or he was
dead man. There was no reply, but the
steps began huriedly to recede, and in an
other moment the burglar fell over chair
with loud crash. Almost at the same in
slant fired in the direction of the sound.
A ghastly groan answered the discharge of
the pistol, and then all was still.
went back to my room, and procuring
light returned to the hall. What was my
horror at finding Aunt Jane lying senseless
on the floor
rushed to her side, and picked her up
Just as consciousness returned, and she be-
gan to cry out that she was killed l was
really afraid at first that l had shot her, but
soon found that, though badly frightened,
she was uninjured. My ball had entered
the wall at some distance from where she
was lying, and had done no damage except
to the plaster.
gradually learned that my unfortunate
relative had risen during the nightin search
of water, and that in endeavoring to reach
the ice-pitcher in the dining room, she had
exploded the alarm which had placed over
the dining room door. The noise fright
ened her so badly that she was returning
to her room without the water, when she
heard my demand for her surrender In
her fright she did not recognize me; but
in her turn mistook me for burglar, and
was trying to escape from the house when
| fired upon her
Nothing would convince her that had |
not tried to shoot her and though she did |
not directly accuse me of an attempt at
murder, she shifted incredulously at my
explanation. She said that she would go
rs soon as daylight appeared, for her life
vas not safe in my house. | am inclined to
hink that she was right To be continu-
lily shifted at win render the midest man
desperate in time.
She kept her word and left us in the
morning, vowing that she would never re-
urn. The next day read to my wife an
imaginary account of the arrest of the en-
ire gang of burglars infesting our neigh
orhood, and Immediately thereafter dis
ontinued the use of the alarms As Aunt
ane will never pay us another visit, do
OF know that have any further use for
lem, and will, therefore, dispose of them ,
half price, to any one afflicted with un-
esirable relations. Judiciously used in ,
lch cases, they cannot fail to drive out the
lost determined visitor. ,