The union Democrat., 1868-02-15
NUMBER Sc.
The Josh Billings Papers.
suG NArRAL HISTORY.
TuE ALLIGATOR

TUE ALLIGATOR
Is nota natif NV M England; he is too
useless . critter tew be born thare.
tie belongs down Souf and resides in the
same swamp that the copperhead dux.
lie lives upon raw pigs, and don't heSi.
tate tew take them whole, if thare don't hap.
pen TO be smaller one handy.
lie IL also fond of . little negro, once in q
while, by way Of fresh.
They are amphihicus, and several other
kinds ov coss tew plenty to mensbun.
what on earth they are good for. don't
seem TO know, unless il IL tew wateh for
pigs.
Their hides kan be tanned into leather.
but they are az hard tew skin az beech
tree IL; aud the leather, when tanned, il
lnst about as timber az a cooking stove.
But one pair oy boots, made out NV alli-
gator. will last az long az a mans name
duz /; the only way tew wear them out IL tew
heave them away.
Alligator meat iE not luscious. If WI
ask for it at the st.klass hotels, they will
alwus tell you THAT they are list out" 1t
tastes az | should think the beef ov a male
would, who had bin worked forty years in q
brick yard, and then bin struck with lightn-
ing, to get rid ov hiIn.
When an alligator S mouth il wide open,
hiz head IL just abut in the centre ov his
boldly; but they hav one virtew came very
near forgitting-they make very still
noise, altho taey have more jaw than emmy
other criter | kno ov.
These are sum ov the heaviest fakts I hav
been abel tew gather about the alligator.
The alligator seems tew be Il sekend edition
ov the krokadile, made ont Of what waz
left.
l think the krokadile usually lays eggs
when they want some more krokadiles, bue
don't kno whether think the alligator dus
or don't but if they do, and ever find the
nest, and the ole feller aint on the nest,
shouldn't hesitate to hatch out the eggs
myself-with a klub.
This IL all knO at present about the alli.
gatur.
Next to the monkey, the crow haE the
most deviltry to spare. They are born very
wild, but kan be tanned az eazy az the cout
kan, but tame crow iz aktually wuss than
a sore thumb.
If thare IL emmy thing about the house
that they kant git into, it is bekause the
thing aint big enuff. L had rather watch
a distrikt skool than one tame crow Crows
live on what they kan steal, and they will
steal emmy thing that amt tied down.
They are fond ov meat vittles, and are
the first tew hold an inquest over departed
horse, or a still sheep. They are n fine bird
tew hunt, but hard one tew kill they kan
see you miles first. and will smell gun
right through the side ov mountain.
They are not songstirs, although they hav
good voice to cultivate, but what they do
sing they seem to understand thoroughly;
long praktiss has made them perfekt.
The crow IL tuff bird, and kan stand the
heat like a blacksmith, and the cold like q
stun wall
They bid their nest among tree, and
lay twice, and both eggs would hatch out if
they waz laid in snow bank. Thare aint
no such thing as stopping young crow.
Grows are very lengthy, beleave they
live always, never knu one to die natral
deth, and don't beleave they kno how.
They are alwus thin in fesh and are like
an injun rubber shew, poor inside and
cut.
They are not considered fine eating altho
hav read sumwhare ov billed crow, but still
never heard ov the same man hankering for
some billed crew 9 times.
This essa on the crow is copied from
natur, and if it iz true, aint tew blame for
it, natur made the crow, didn't if i had
would have made ber more honest and not
quite so tuf.
TIE BuMBEL Bee.
The Bumbel Bee IL one ov naturs se.
krets.
They probably hav a destiny tew fill and
are probably necessary, il fellow only knew
how.