Middletown transcript., 1868-10-24
noetit gadinage.
LADY,s EPIsTLE.
By MRs. ANNA MARIA CoUPLET.

y
pen of the Quaker Poet, Samuel ]. Smith, of
Burlington New Jersey, now deceased. tits a |
capital burlesqne of the style Of some female cor
respondence, and evinces considerable humor, |
which cannot fail to excite ones rsibil tiles.
Sir,-I have wish'd sometime to tell you a
z piece of my mind,
But somehow, since my marriage, hardly ever |
y can find
Half an hour of leisure, to write line or two,
The mistress ofa family has such world of
You will observe write in verse; always had
powerful
Propensity to poetry though my uncle used to
look sour full
As verjuice, when sacrificed to the muse and
had the conscience
TO call it, sacrificing to 6ddestick, and mis-
= cradle nonsensel ...s-l
But my aunt said, she was sure in reason had
genus,
For / couldn't knit a stocking fit to throw at a
dog, and between us,
] never was particularly fond of work, though
not averse to
Domestic manufacture, but that's neither here
4 f' nor there.
Ny husband is worthy, respectable man ofcourse
Bnt he has very little more taste for poetry than
horse,
And is quite as willing, like many wel-meaning
So not wishing to dispease him, and hating
1 dismal faces
seldom write unless he is out, which seldom
enough the case is
But the day before yesterday, thought would
o. nicely do
To write u letter for the ''Vister," and friendly
hint to you;
For my husband after breakfast, sat off for
vendue,
Which was like to detain him chief part of the day,
So got my pen and paper out, and put my
- work away,
And told Sally to put couple of potatoes in the
skillet to smother,
Set the cold bit of pie to warm, and go and sec
her mother.
For you know it would be nonsense to cook
load of meat,
When there was only me at home, and didn't
want to eat
But had hardly written line or two, when
open bounced the door,
And in came my husband followed by two or
three more:
"My DEAR" says he, I" we found the vendue had
been adjourn, d,
So Tgot these friends to stop and take dinner as
they returnd'
+" Indeed my dear, )" says ], "Tm afraid there
none TO take
For was writing little poetry and Sally
but stoppd for saw him make
very dsagreeable face, ~ wish your abomi-
nable poetry-but however"
Says he, edo stir now at least and get us some
thing clever"
Only think well borrowed Mrs. Fidgets lame
boy Dick
To clean knives. and wait at table, for Solomon
has trick
OF being always away when he is wanted; my
husband was in fret,
Which didn't make things better; but he is very
apt to get
little out of humor, when he's like to lose his
dinner.
What cannibals the men are often tell then,
that a thinner
80
excellent effect
On both body and mind, but they treat it with
neglect.
Well, Sally you may be sure was sent for in "A
furry,
And we killed the blind old cock, and setting
hen, for in hurry
Nothing else could be got and things went of
better
Than might have been expected but / couldn't
write my letter:
And yesterday was interrupted again. and
almost begin to fear,
Such repeated trials may injure my temper; bu
you shall hear
Ny husband was out, so told Sally just to rul
The furniture in the parlour, shake the carpet
The floor, and the walls, and the windows, AND
looking glasses,
And whitewnsh the hearth, and give polish t,
And having given her directions what to d.
next tried
To have things little quiet and comfortable
so tied
The Oldest child to the bed post, and to keep
The youngest brat from squalling made him sleer
With little paregoric, for keepa chest abound
With valuable medicines some of my own CON
pounding,
Which nobody but the children will take, thoug
excellent know,
For if they do not find you sick, they are sur
a.t to make you
think it prudent, when ones well, to be prett
ga free with physic,
- To get well used to nauseous doses against on
really is sick;
But my husband won't, says he, ats best to
cautious,
Besides my DEAR find your poetry dose suff
ciently nauseous.'
Well, as | was saying, gave the paregoric, an
then strove to rally
Ny scatter'd thoughts a little, but in vain, for i
came Sally
With Mrs. and the Misses Waddles compliment
who would come to tea,
"Oh ] wish they were-somewhere else-wel
tell her ! shall he happy to see
Her and her agreeable daughters set
tiresome creatures,
How wretchcdly they torment one, but | tried
'- twist my features
Into something like smile, and of course v
had to get
The parlor to rights Immediately, but the flo,
II was so wet
1t would have taken half day to ha,
thoroughly dried it,
So we clapp'd the carpet on as quick possib
81, to hide it: ~
was quite in quandary where to begin,
There was every thing to do, and no time to 4
II4 il in:
"oh," says /, "Sally, never mind the viii
dows, they'll be here in minute,
Just dust the parlor out, and put the chairs ar
Il tIbes in it,
And the silver wants cleaning, and the tea thin
u 7e are dusty,
And the sugars full of ants, and the tea a lit
musty."
We fixed Solomon on the gate post, to keep
look out
For the Waddles and to let lis know, but not
Hs5.. make a rout,
But the goose never saw EN- till they were clio
TO the place,