The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-09-17
Short Paragraphs.

IL 10 iuhOiOu IhdI Gnc le6N. ulT' OYER,
who is writing ''HistOry of the Devil"
has been summoned to Washington by
Butler, who proposes to suggest some in
teresting photographed "reminiscences.
A little girl, on hearing her mother say
that she intended to 60 to ball, and have
her dress trimmed with bugles, innocently
inquired if the bugles, would blow while
she danced. "Oh, no." said the mother,
''your father will do that when he discov-
ers have bought them"
The sons of the late Emperor of Austria
got into a quarrel. In the height of their
passion one of them said to the other ::
'You are the greatest ass in Vienna"
Highly offended at their quarelling before
him, the Emperor said, "YOu forget that
| am present"
An absent wife is thus advertised for ::
"Jane, your absence will ruin all. Think
of the children, your parents, your hus-
band. Return, return; all may yet be
well. At any rate enclose the key of the
cupboard where the gin is"
"What do you expect to give my daugh-
teri" asked gentleman of country
editor who had made proposition to be
received as his son-in-low.
"Give herp replied the editor, "why
Pll give her good puff"
care you fond of Hogg's Talesr" asked
city lady of her country lover.
eyes, like them roasted, with salt on
them," was the response.
"No, l mean have you read Hogg's
tales ;"
"No, our, hogs are all white and black
i don't think there's red one among
them"
81 wander into the depths of dc forest"
says Sambo, Sand nature was as u lady
going to de wedding. De leaves glisten-
ing on de maple tree like new quarter dol
lar in de missionary box; de sun shone as
brilliant and nature looked as gay as a
rabbit in parsley garden; and de little
bell round de ole sleeps neck tinkled
softly and unsteady in de distance"
A Quakeress at Bloomington, Indiana.
Jealous of her husband, watched his move
ments, and actually one morning discovered
the truant hugging and kissing the servant
girl. Broadbrim was not long in discover.
ing the face of bis wife, as she peopcd at the
half open door, and rising with all the
coolness of general officer, thus address
ed her: "Betsey, thee had better quit
neeninp or thee will cause a disturbance
in the family"
"Mary, my love, do you remember the
text this morning?" ''No papa, nevei
can remember the text, Pve such bac
memory" "NIary," said her mother
''did you notice Susan Brown % ooh
yes, what fright! She had her las
years bonnet done up, a pea.green silk, ;
black lace mantilla, brown carriers, an i'm
itation Honiton collar, lava bralcelet
her old ear drops, and such fan! Oh
myw Mother-"Well, my dear, you
memory is improving"
An ugly young lady is always anxiou
to marry, and young gentlemen are seldom
anxious to marry them. This is the re
suit of two mechanical powers-the inclin
ed plane and leave-her.
Cure for love-hide in closet half
dozen times, and listen to the conversation
which takes place, between couple VIII
have been married one year, while the
think themselves entirely alone.
"Patrick, can you read the name on tn
shop just opposite, for me?" asked near
sighted young lady. "Sure MISS" repli
ed Pat, ''it is as ignorant as yourself am
They nivir taught me to read either"
A rich Japanese, whose income is pu
! at the fabulous sum of 90, 100000, is SAT-
to be coming to Paris for a wife. TIL
Boston Post says "What a blessing if W
: could only get him here-and tax him.
A Western paper cruelty says: "Ou
member of Congress has made grea
speech-one of his very best. 1t wa
written for him by graduate of this Of
fee, and the matter and delivery do cred
it to both parties"
Sheridan made his appearance, one da,
in pair of new boots, which attracte
f the notice of some of his friends. "No
E guess" said he, show l came by these ne
boots!" Many probable guesses then too
place. "No," said Sheridan, "no, you'y
. not hit it nor never will; bought the
and paid for them"
"Wonder what makespapa tell such mic
stories," said youngster, "about hi
hiding the schoolmaster's rattan, when /
5 went to school, about his running ava
from the school mistress when she was e
ing to whip him, and then he shut me u
| all dav. in the dark room. bec ause triet