Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1868-01-24

embarrassing circumstances.
What greater absurdity could fashion
or custom enjoin upon us than this ?
What greater indecency than to remove
a young girl from the seclusion of her
home, the guardianship of her parents,
at the very time when she needs both
most, and make her in public places the
object of vulgar curiosity and ribald
ljest?
| The first experiences of married life
are not apt, by any means, to be so bliss
ful as many people, and especially young
people, imagine. To the young wife, es-
peeially, it is all new and strange and
untried. Her husband, heretofore, has
been only the most devoted lover, but
secretly, perhaps, he has determined
"that this sort Of thing" can not last
forever, and though he may be willing,
in his own phraseology, to "let her down
easy" he still exhibits enough of consci-
business of change in their relative posi-
tions to strike her with surprise and
amazement, and questions if this is the
man who had professed himself willing
to die for her, and for whom she had
given up home, friends, youthful plea
sures, and the admiration of others, pos
sibly, as worthy of regard as himself
This awakening does not come all at
once, but by degrees, and the wise moth
er, having her daughter with her for the
first few weeks after her marriage, would
prepare her mind for it.
| Using her utmost endeavors to make
the entrance to married life as pleasant
and cloudless as possible, she would at
the same time prepare her for the chances
and changes sure to come.
She would show that welded life, for
a woman, is necessarily state of subjec-
ton that after the .fete is once over there
is little of holiday to be expected, and
that if she would enjoy the state-the
happiness of conjugal union-she must
be prepared to accept its burdens and re-
sponsibilities.
Driven off with precipitate haste from
the parental roof, and thrown at once in
to the midst of new and exciting circum-
stances, the young girl has no opportu-
nifty to analyze her own feelings, or judge
calmly of the new duties which await
her.
For time she has been the center of
attraction, and the qualification of her
vanity has counterbalanced, to some ex-
tent, the shock to her feelings and mod
esty. She is now to settle down to the
position of a wife, and pleasant though
that may be, it is different from that of
an admired bride, and the publicity, con-
) stant attendance, and adulation she has
received have not been the best prepara-
ton for it.
Moreover, she has still to learn that
men are not all alike, and some of them
not at all alike, and that her husband
may be farthest removed, by habit or
early training, or want of training, from
the father or brother upon whom she has
been accustomed to pin her faith, and
who represent all her domestic ideas of
perfection
And this knowledge, first reaching her,
comes with sort of shock; she sees it
in the breaking up of her illusions, for
she has not yet learned that human na-
ture is made up of different qualities, and
that, while few possess all the good, none
possess all the bad and that some men
come out strong in one direction and
some in another.
my DEAR" said wise woman, one
day, to a young wife, take your hus-
band for what he is and make the best
of him, and don't expect him to be either
your father, your brother, or your cousin.
Perhaps if the wives of those gentlemen
were to relate some things from their
standpoint you might not consider them
SO much more enviable than yourself,
after all. If one man is not so demon
strative, he may be more patient than
another, and if more irascible, more gen.
erous and willing to forgive"
Such thoughts and ideas, as influencing
a young wife's happiness, may be sup
posed to be mere fancies, but it is not so.
With the mass of women, with the life
Of girlhood, the life of excitement and
holiday activity ceases, and new inte-
rior and emotional life commences.
American men, as a general rule, are
immersed in business: and American
wives are often solitary, and spend much
of their time alone.
! 1t is true that they make an effort, at
: first, to keep up their old acquaintance,
and call, and visit, and dress as usual.
But, somehow, it is not the same thing.
Their young friends begin by looking a
little askance at them. and finally leave