davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
Marx Twain on the Accordion.

MARK was as many other young mea
are at some period of their lives, anx-
ious to learn music. He tried first one
instrument thcn another, till he finally
settled down to the accordeon. On that
soul stirring article of music he learned
to play that melodious and popular air,
"Auld Lang Syne." For about week
he continued to torture his unwilling
hearers, when being of an ingenious
turn of mind, he endeavored to improve
upon the original melody by adding
some variations of his own. But who
has ever seen real genius succeed yet?
Just as Mark had finished his only tune
and wound up with an admirable
flourish, the landlady rushed into his
room. Said she:
"Do you know another tune but that
Mr.. Twain 2" told her meekly did
not. "Well, them" said she, "stick to
ii just as it is don't put any variations
to it, because it is rough enough on the
boarders the way it is now"
The upshot was, that the "roughness"
was soon made manifest, for half the
boarders left, and the other half would
have left had not the landlady dis.
charged Mark. Then, like the wan.
/ dcring Jew, Mr.. Twain went from
I house to house. None would under
take to keep him after one nights mu-
sic; 80 at last in sheer desperation, he
went to bosrdat An italian lsdy's- Mrs.
Murphy by name. lie says: :
The first time i struck up the varia.
tions, a haggard ,csre-worn, cadayerous
old man walked in my room aud stood
beaming upon me smile of inefisbls
happiness. Then he placed his hand
upon my head, and looking devoutly
aloft, he said with feeling JUNCTION, and
In a voice trembling with emotion,
"God bless you, young man God bles;
you for you have done that for me
which is beyond all praise. For year
have suffered from an incurable dis.
ease, and knowing my doom was seale6
and that l must die, have striyep
with all my power to resign myself d
my fate, but in vain-the love of lift
was too strong within me. But heaven
bless you, my benefactor! for since j
heard yon play that tune and those VA;
riations,l do not want to live any long.
ing to die-in fact, am anxious u
die" And then the old man fell upor
my neck and wept hood of happy
tears. was surprised at these thines
but could not help giving the old gen,
tleman parting variation, as he wen
out Of the door. They doubled hiIf
up like a jack-knife, and the neTJ
time he left his bed OF pain and sui
he was all right-in y metallic coffin.
AT last Mark gave up his peacIa,,
for the accordion, and from that dn,
gave amateur musicians u wide berth
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
Ghuife 9nttry.
FAX CAMPAIGN SONG


ny GRANT-PERI.
AiR--"Cbn,e Home"
| q, O,HIRAM ULYSSES, come back to your dad,
For the clock on the steeple strikes two.
Impeachments "gone mp" and Ben Wade \
stark mad,
And he swears It's all over with you; az
The Chicago Convention will help you no more
Tho Methodist Conference won't pray, 4iH
there's the uggliest news from the Oregon shor
And in short there's the dickens to pey!
Come home! Come home Come hoinel
Sweet Hiram Ulysses, come home, ..
Old Browhiow is going to lied sulpher Springs.
ind stanton cant "stick" any more;., ed.
Old Thad In despair to his dusky bride clings.
While Sumner. the eunch, feels sore; ..''-
Ben Butler In stealing a look on his spoons.
The bondholders quack for their gold; .I B.
The bands have stopped playing "those !oii ole
tunes,'
And fear Inc, sweet Hiram, you're ssli.
Come home. etc y
I've horse In the Circuit ior you and Colfsx- {
'Tis the horse that you rode in the South
The monkey stands ready to leap on your backs
And there's whisky to pour In your mouth.
SO Hiram, sweet Hiram don't feel very bad,
When you learn that my tidings are true:
You're better at home with cigars and your dad
for the White House amt waiting for you
Come hon,ei Come home! Come honiei
Sweet Hiram Ulysses, come home!
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
Fax About Butter.

l DEW wish that the Sarpent that was
so konspicuous in the fail 0v our fust
parents wood try some oN his seductive
wiles on the present hi price ov butter.
We went one week without it up to
our hous, but at larst giving wa tn the
clalnors ov the children and the fearful
entreaties ov mi wife, bought haff "A
pound and mortgaged mi house and
lot.
Oh, 4 kow.
Butter is very skerce. Rows ar a.
plenty as ever ond give just as much
milk, but the avaricous farmist packs
hiz butter up for big thing mex win
ter. Tha don't konsider that the world
ma come to an end before that time an
thare butter spile on thare hands.
y farmer bro't a teacup full to mar
ket yesterday and he came near losin'
his life by bein smuthered tn deth by
grocers hoo crowded around and offered
him fabulous sums for it. ! modestly
offered him mi life and sakred honor
for haf an ounce, and he arskt me with
a sarkastic grin if | thought his butter
wuz strong. That was pretty strengthy
sarkazm. He finally sold his butter to
n man for sls ia stamps and femail
dorg. The cup wuzzent thrown in,
Tharc heZ been some pretty skaly
butter in circulation within the pars,
few weeks. got n roll some time age
for an old gold watch that wus lett tu
my wife with the strick injunkshur
that she shoodent part with it unless II
wuz to get sumthin to eat. We kool.
ent eat that butter. hired a powerful
man tn carry it far intu Ithe country ar
bury 1t. Cum tn find out that roll o,
butter he'd been made byan agrikultu
raj girl fur an old flame ov hers in ou
plais. The hi flavor ov the butter wui
expressive ov the strong luv she Dor,
him. She had also sent him lock o,
her hare very skillfully workt up il
the roll, Josh BILLINGS.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21

A PREACHER, ina funeral sermon on
lady, after summing up the good
qualities, added that she always reach
cd her husband his hat, when he call.
ed for il, without muttering.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
THE COLUMBIAN,
A Democratic Newspaper
Is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING AT
BLOOMsBURG, PENN'A.

THE principles of this paper ai, Of the Jefferson.
be compromised, yet courtesy and kindness shall
not be forgotten in discussing them, whether with
individuals, or with contemporaries Of the Press
Tho unity, happiness, and prosperity ofthe coun-
try Is our aim and object; and as the means to
secure that we shall labor honestly and earnestly
for tho harmony, success and growth Of our organ
ization. d
TERMS Oh SrBsCgIrTfos:-Twe dollars q year
If paid in advance. If not paid in advance two
dollars and my cents viii be invariably charged.
TERMS or rhDvERrIstSd Ono square tten lines
or less one or three Insertions sl,IO each subse
uupnt insertion N cents
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
FOR THE COLUMBIAN
aCsQUEHANNA'S SHORE.

MAGGIE, throw the window open,
Let me look beyond this roam;
All! IT'S naught but bricks and Mortar,
Not hill nor flower in bloom,
oh !! that could see once more
The lcafy mountain swelling
On sweet Susquhanna's shore.
Close the window-close IL, Maggie
Through II comes the city's hum,
And my head Is nigh to bursting,
And my heart still longs for home;
oh that could hear once more
Tho gentle wavelets rolling
on sweet Susquchannas shore.
Maggie dear. the room is stifiing.
There is not n breath of air,
And my cheeks are burning. burning,
With the constant sunny glare;
Oh! that could feel once
The balmy breeze that blowing
On Sweet Susquehanna's shore.
F.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
''1njuns About"

a TEXAN correspondent of the New
Orleans Ficoy,me, tells good story in
one Of his letters, of c. "a sur!y-faced'
grlzlyhaired ,cuffy and moon eyed chap
who prosecuted certain rougish dam.
sci with his attentions, but was finally
thrown Off the course Of true love, by
the following ruse:
II being the watermelon season, and
Detty's father having fine supply, all
the Youngsters for miles around as
sembled there on the holiday, to feast
on melons.
c. was prominent in the circle, till
the afternoon. Betty held private in
terviews with the other young men and
arranged that c. should be decoyed
from the house, and frightened by the
cry of Indians from some of his COM
rades, which was thought would wound
his pride and drive him away.
Five young men with G. walked out.
A bath in the river, three hundred
yards distant, was proposed by one and
secondedby several. OF course poor C.
| was "in."
They went down TO the ford, neal
the melon patch, and began undressing
In the meantime eight or ten others
with guns, had gone down under cover
of the bank, and sccreted themselve,
along the path, from the bathing place
to the house.
"Now, boys" said one "whn shall b,
the first to dive in that 'ere pool" >"
"I'll" says c.. "ain't first with tn,
gals?"
On went pants, coats, shoes etc, Jus
as G.. had doffed everything, barring /
e, long flannel shirt-bang ! bang! bang
Who-wo- yeh Bang! went two, three
| four guns-.loud and shrill went the In
dian yell in the dense brush, and now
under the bank.
80, Lord! l am dead man, boys =
said James Simpson.
my leg is broken. ., save mel
cried George Williams.
"Run for life men! Run-for mercy
sake run !" cried Jack Parsons.
zone Of my eyes is out J" all being
said in an instant.
Do you see that red blaze along tn,
path? Look a moment-what veloci
ty! That jagged hair all Strengthened
behind-that's G. strcaking it for thu
house, shirt and all. See him abou
the corner of the field, by the thicket
Bang-bang-went half dozen pieces
louder than ever rose the hideou, wa
cry.
80, Lord" shouted G. redoublinl
his speed--the red blaze getting larger
punches of his bushy hair dropping Oh
rs he "spread himself" See him leap
the yard fence-high in the air-re
shirt and all.
The porch was full of ladies,.- wen
two or three more pieces. G. glance
at the lad les then at his short red shirt
"Run for your life, c." screamed BE,
ty "the house is full of lndians Fa
thcr's dead and brother Sam is wound
cd, Run, speed"
In Il twinkling of an eye c. was on
OF the yard and supposing the prem
ises surrounded off he shot, the re
blaze more brilliant than ever, an
striking directly into thicket, thorn
bottom, he reached and swan the ri>
er; and although II was near sunset, C.gC
into settlement hfty miles distant, {
breakfast next morning, still retainin
} the sleeves and collar Of his red shir
and reporting all the family, visitor
, etc. among the slain. As for himsel
he said he fought as long rs fghtin
would do any good.
} II is unnecessary to inform you dea
reader, whether or not Betty Was trout
} led with c. after that snap.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21

Ogres In fairy tales, save that they hat
no crown on, Nick and his wife started
off TO the pawnbroker's
The man was good natured, and look
ed at the garments. They were mark
ed NJ. S.
"Pm right, then," said Becky. "The,
are the child's and they have been sto
len. And If we can find It's poor mother
We'll save more than any but mother
can tell"
"But think of all the Smiths" said
the pawnbroker. "There's thousand.
| of en-
"And thousands" said Becky. "But
these mcn-mean:ng the police they
may know"
! And out went Nick and Becky, tc
question the guardians Of the night, un.
till, at last, despairing of an answer,
they were turning homeward, when a
blaze of light from an open door fell
over them, and they saw on the steps a
weeping woman and tall, handsome e
man.
my precious little Minnie," cried
the woman.
Then Nick and Betty gave sort of
cheer in union. Oh, mum if your name
is Smith, and you've lost little girl
we've found her."
And then then the cobblcr and his
wife were pounced upon and the story
tod.
In half an hour the six little Ogres,
without crowns were aroused from their
slumbers by an arrival in their midst
and the odd baby was taken out, to
their distress and CONSERVATION, for
they had counted on keeping her.
And Nick and Betty forgot their
own troubles In the parents joy. And
Nick said it was like poetry and Becky
said it was like play
And so it was-ohe with happy
ending-what did the lady do but beg
and pray Becky to tell her what she
would like best, and Becky confessed
that to have her wedding-ring back
was the hope of her life; and this led
to the cause ofits pawning and all the
story of poverty and sorrow. Then the
dark hours ended and the day broke;
and there was food and fire; and as it
happened, that baby, Minnie's father,
needed just such an honest man for
work as poor Nick could do, he gave
the place to the cobbler; and from that
day there was enough and to spare in
the little home, because of the simple
goodness shown to the baby Minnie.
$50 it's never time thrown away to
do kindness to any one," says Becky,
often; somehow you are always reward
ed for 1t. IfI'd left the little lost beg
gar's child las thought it, in the street
and never stopped to care for it-as /
might have done in such trouble
where would Nick have been and the
children and me this night? Not tina,
did anything but what Christian
ought, hut see how we ware paid for it
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
JERSEYTOWN DIRECTORY.
BUCKHORN DIRECTORY.

NJ q. W. H. SHOEMAKER, dealers in dry
MI goods, groceries and general merchandise.
First store In south end oftown. y2.nlS.
TACOB & WM, HARRIS, dealers in dry goods,
groceries, drugs and medicines. First store IN
north end oi town. Y2-nls.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21

Executors and Administrators Notice $500; Au-
ditor's Notice $3.50. othcr advertisements inser-
ted according to special contract.
Business notices, without advertisement, twenty
cents per line.
Transient advertisements payable in advance
all others due af1er the first insertion.
ss- It is, in all cases, more likely TO be satisfac
tory, both 10 subscribers and to the Publishers
that remittances and oil communications respect
ing the business OF the paper b. sent direct to the
office of publication. All letters, whether relating
to the editorial or business of the paper
and all payments for subscriptions, advertising
or jobbing, are to be made to and addressed
BROCKWAY & FREEZE,
"Cbiumbian 0Dice,'
BLooasBuRG, PA.
Printed at Hobison's Bull 'ings. near the Court
House. by
G. NJ. YANDERsLICE.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
HOTELS AND SALOONS.
ENCHANGE HOTEL,


The undersigned having purchased this we'll
known and centrally y-lOcated house the Exchange
Hotel, situate on MAIN STREET, in Bloomsbuig q
Immediately opposite the Columbia county Court
House, respectfully inform their friends and the
public in general that their house is now in order
for the reception and entertainment of travellers
who N ay be disposed To favor II with their GUS
tom. They have spared no expense In preparing
the Exchange for the entertainment oftheirguests
neither shall there be anything wanting ON their
part to minister to their personal comfort. They
house is spacious, and enjoys an excellent bus'
ness location.
Omnibuses run at all times between the Ex-
change Hotel and the various railroad depots, by
which travellers will be pleasantly conveyed TO
and from the respective stations in due time to
meet the cars, kOONS CLARK,
bloomsbury, April 3, 1858
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21
ORANGEyILLE DIRECTORY.

\R, q. A. MEGARGEI,, physician and surgeon,
Main ST., neat door to Goods Hotel. Yl-n7
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-08-21

DRICK HOTEL and refreshment saloon, by
ID Ed. Everett. cor. of Main and Pine st.vlni7
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22

No other form of Neuralgia or Nervous
Disease has failed to yield to this
WONDERFUL REMEDIAL AGENT.
Even in the severest cases OF Chronic
Neuralgia and general nervous derange
ments-of many years standing affecting
the entire system, it's use for few days,
or a few weeks at the utmost, always af-
fords the most astonishing relief, and very
rarely fails to produce complete and per-
manent cure.
1t contains no drugs or other materials
in the slightest degree injurious, even to
the most delicate system, and can always
be used with perfect safety.
1t has long been in constant use by
many Of our most eminent Physicians,
who give it their unanimous and unquali-
fed approval.
Sent by mail on receipt of price, and
postage.
Six packages, 500; 81
Twelve packages, 900; 48
1t is cold by all Wholesale and retail deal
ers in drugs aud medicines throughout the
United States, and by
TURNER & CO., Sole Proprietors,
120 fremont street, Boston, Mass.
Jan mth6mo
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
State South MISUNDERSTANDING Dist

IN TIE CGIa1aGW rLEAS.
g. III. Baldwin d Co. vs.. Thos. s. Nicker-
sOn.-F0reign Attachment.
w 18th day of NOVEMBER, 1867, file
their declaration against the Defendant,
who, as it is said, is absent from, and
without the limits of this State, and has
neither Wife nor Attorney known within
the same, upon whom copy of the said
declaration might be served.
1t is, therefore, on motion of L. w. Nc
Master, Esq, Plaintiffs Attorney, ordered
that the said Defendant do appear and
plead to the said declaration on or before
the 10Th day of NOVEMBER, which will
be in the year of our Lord one thousand
eight hundred and y-eight; otherwise
final and absolute judgment will then be
given and awarded against him.
d. B. MILLER. @. G. P.
Clerks Office, Richland District, Novem-
Der II, 1867. Nov 10 as
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
State South Carolina--Richland Dist

IN THE COMMON PLEAS.
Horace L. Emery & Son VS.. Albert r. Col
ton.-Atdchnent.
WHEREAS, the plaintiff did, on the I'd
w day of March, in the year one thou
sand eight hundred and sixty y-eight, file
his declaration against the defendant,
who (as it is said) is absent from and
without the limits Of this State, and has
neither wife or attorney, known within the
same, upon whom a copy of the said de-
claration might be served.
1t is therefore, on motion of Bachman
IL Waties, ordered, that the said defen-
dant do appear and plead to the said de-
claration on or before the Sd day of MARCH,
in the year of our Lord one thousand
eight hundred and sixty-nine, otherwise
final and absolute judgment will then be
given and awarded against him.
ID. b. MILLER, G. @. P.
Clerks Office, Richland District, March
2, 1868. March 5 So
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
Spring and Summer Fashions.

TUST received, at tho Industrial De-
81 pository," Madame Demorcst's Bulle-
tin of Ladies' and Cilildren's Fashions
This plate of fash on i. elegantly colored,
and has with it bov,; of description and
valuable information, together with full
assortment of Patterns for ladies' and
children's dresses, caps, sacques and
suits. Call, ladies, and assist the needy,
by purchasing our patterns. All orders
from the country promptly attended to.
April II
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
The State Central Executive Committee

The State Central Executive Committee
suggest to Democratic clubs the following
simple form Of constitution:
In order to aid in restoring Constitu-
tional liberty to the people and States of
the United States, we, the undersigned
residents OF do hereby
form ourselves into an organization. to be
known as the Democratic Club of {;
and, that in connection with the cardinal
principles of the National Democracy, "we
recognize the colored population of the
State as an integral element Of the body
polite, and as such in person and property
entitled to full and equal protection, un-
der the State Constitution and laws, and
that, as citizens Of South Carolina, we de-
clare our Willingness, when We have the
power, to grant them, under proper quail
fications as to property and Intelligence,
the right of suffrage"
ARTICLE 1.-The officers of this associa-
tion shall consist of President, Vice-Pre-
sident, and one Secretary and Treasurer,
who shall be elected semi-annually.
ARTICLE 2. The club will assemble at the
call OF tho President, and at such stated
times as may be agreed upon. Ten men,
bers shall constitute quorum.
ARTICLE 3. ANY male resident Of
may become a member OF this association
upon signing this Constitution and agree
ing to act with the club in the support OF
viz lneH anu LlCdSuTtS Vi t1c DGHOCTdtlC
party in District, State, municipal and na-
tiCnal matters.
"1lunicipar' to be left out in country
clubs. The Committee renew their re-
commcndation that the different clubs in
each District form central organization,
which organization shall report its officers
and strength forthwith to this committee,
and then once every month thereafter
send in monthly report. The Commit
tee send their greetings to the country,
and are pleased to report that the move
ment they represent is fourishing. Re-
spectfully, WADE HAMPTON,
j. p. THOMAS,
F. w. MCMASTER,
JOSEPH DAN. POPE,
s. MCGOWAN,
W. NJ. SHANNON.
May IL Committee.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
The Industrial School.

NNHE above SCHOOL, on Arsenal Hill,
i resumed instructions on MONDAY, the
23d. The services Of a competent Teacher
being secured, all who desire an educa-
tion, and instruction in Needle-work, &C.,
can do 30 by immediate application
Terms moderate. Those who are not able
to pay will have the privilege Of an educa-
tion and allowed the use of books, slate
&c, so as to give them every opportunity
TO attend the School. March %
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
10 Builders, Contractors and Pro.
prietOrs,

HAVING located conveniently near the
IL principal manufactures of New York,
and vicinity, the subscriber will give
prompt personal attention to procuring
for orders all kinds Of WOOD, IRON and
MARBLE WORK, for buildings and ma
chinery. Sash, Blinds, Doors, Carvings of
every kind and material. From twelve
years professional experience in South
Carolina, the subscriber will guarantee to
suit the wishes of those building.
THOS. G. VEAL, Architect,
Tenafly, New Jersey,
March 2G 3mo Late Of Columbia, S. C.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22

In 1926, the value of real estate on
Manhattan Island was $64, S04, O5O;
to-day it is about $475, 100000. The
recorded transfers in this city, last
month, amounted to $23, 1853, 1873,
and in Brooklyn to $7,610,017;
$55, SIT, 743 worth of real estate, or
about twelve per cent. of the total
valuation in this city, has changed
hands since January l; in Brooklyn,
the amount during the same time has
been SIT, 1856, 143.
London papers ask their readers to
believe that telegraphic communica-
tion has been suspended in Abys-
sinia by monkeys climbing the poles
and hanging to the wire by their
tails. Nonsense! Why the wires
would be useless if they stopped
every time monkey sent his tale
over them.
A miraculous adhesive cement was
on trial at Hartford, on Monday. A
pair of truck traces were cut and
cemented together, and within them
two horses then drew about the city
load of -four weighing G, 900 pounds.
1t seems as if the Baron Munchausen
must have manufactured it.
Such is the blessings of benevo-
lent heart that, let the world frown
as it will, it cannot possibly bereave
it of all happiness, since it can re-
joice in the prosperity of others.
Instead of o tear for the suffering
of the poor and needy, drop o shin
plaster, it will do more good.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-22
PLANTS FOR SALE.
lust RECEIVED

A 7 the Ladies' Industrial Association.
N Cheap CORSETS, of good shape; Cor.
set Fronts, Tidey and Spool Cotton, Work
ing Materials Of great variety, and New
clothing. Orders are solicited from ladies'
and gentlemen, and every effort will be
made to have them promptly filed.
April 8