The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1868-05-15
Some Account Of q slight 1AAke,
BIZ JOHN QUILL


as apopuiar politician shot 1T as n.tori-
oas border rufdan; mistaken and kissed by
affectionate and good, looking daughters as
heavy father; thrashed as a false lover,
and run away from by people who regard I'd,
me as the ghost of some dead man or other.
And now here is a woman whoss~ears |
am her truant husband, and who has pro
claimed the fact SO loudly that there is
falr prospect OF my serving out sentence
in jail for the crime of bigamy.
Twas sitting In the parlor Of the hotel at
Oldcastie, Delaware, the other day, talking
With some friends, and there was q hatched-
face female, with two children, looking out
OF the window at the other end of the room
Directly she turned around, looked at me
tor minute, and with wild cry of delight
sprapg forward, flung her arms around my
neck and kissed me about sixty>four times.
Drawing back Indignantly, as soon as was
able, said in my severest tones
Madam, what is the meaning of this
outrageous conduct2''
"Oh, my dear William, have found
you at last ? Oh, my dear, dear Wiliam!"
And she commenced strangling and
| smothering me again.
Madam said /, sternly, you may
have found me at last, but want you dis.
tinety to understand that my name is not
dear William, for | was mad. a. -
ssOh, William" says this scandalous fe
male, still hanging on to my neck and
mussing my shirt collar, "Oh, William, do
you not recognize your own fond Maria !?
Do YOU not, dear William?'' aes
No, L do not recognize my own fond
Maria, dear William," was my reply. Il
never lad u fond Maria of my own 10 all my
born days, and what's more, I don't want
one either. You had better 70 and lie
down, you doh t seem we'll ak
Our dear children know their father,
said this wretched woman Come here,
Mary Jane and Katy, and kiss your loving
papa.
Then both of her brats pranced up and
grabbed me by the trousers and wanted me
to kiss them. - a.s-glss -
wv by, you two children don't pretend to
say | M your father, do you p
"Oh, yes, you are our dear papa" said
both OF these deHraved youngsters.
Why, you scandaious little story
tellers T. said l, amt you ashamed to
tell such an awful fb? Don't you know
where wicked story-tellers of your age go !?
bet 60 of me, or I'll larrup you till you
can stand; | will, upon my sacred word
and honor.
"Oh William dear" said their mother,
you surely renlem Der the happy, happy
days of our courtship, when beneath the
soft moonlight we walked together by the
side OF the murInuring stream, and whis-
perec the soft accents of afTection?'
No, l don't remember any such thing,
and | never did it either. | never walked
out Ia the moonlight; | never heard
stream murmur in the whole course of my
life, and always was down on the soft ac-
cents OF affection. So you see there is no
use of bothering me-"
And do you not recollect the first time
you came to our home, and sat in the back
parlor with me, until father got mad and
walked in and kicked you down stairs?
"Ot course i don't. I'd have smashed
him on the nose if he had kicked me, you
can bet. L wouitlnt have stood any Of his
nonsense. l tell you | am moi the man.
And, then next day my tro brothers
met you In the street, and because you had
won my young love, tackled you and
thrashed YOU nearly to death? ? Doyou not
remember this, dear WIilian?" - Is
u tell you my name amt William, and
l don't know your relations or their heit OF
bow they are on the muscle, but | II Just
bet you never had brother or cousin, or
any other relation, who Vas able to thrash
ihe don t want any OF your family fool
ing around me. III fog a whole, uass>
meeting OF them. Now 30 away from me
OR LII call the landlord said /, for this
Wonan vas beginning to get aggrayatilg.
"Ohl William, you have forgotten all
that happy past, | am afraid. But surely
dear, you can call to mind Jim Sykes. who
M pru 10
to come round OF evenings and try to cut
you out, and who made you SO mad. by his
attentions to me? You remember him.
don't you, my dear Wiliam?'
Madam, if you mean me by that phrase,
don't If had been counting YOU, and
bad had a rival, [ would have backed
square out and given him all the chances
l would have done worse wonld have
given him ten dollars to 60 in and win, and
take you of my hands, and considered the
now, | do, indeed. Sposen send for
20 no dear, it's of no use, we are mar
ried now E@
If we are, I'm Dutchman. I'd rather
De 10 the penitentiary on life sentence. If
| we're married to you I'd blow nv brains
cut with the very FIRST horse-plstoi came
across, and make will to keep you from
going to the funeral; l would indeed"
oh, William" says this annoying fe-
male, you are trifing with me. You GER
tainly remember the night you seized my
hand, and with trembling voice, asked me
to be yours? And you know how l blush
ed aud bowed my head upon your bosom
and wept tears Of tender joy.
Il certainly don't remember any such
ridiculous thing. / don't believe you can
blush to save your life. and as for butting
around on my waistcoat with that ban6o,
lined head OF yours. I'd see you in Kansas
before L allow il. -
And then, continued she. without no.
uclRg my reparkA you took me to the
ahar and made nae rcur bride, and led ms