The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1868-03-11
Sftcr.-Thos, Grabbs memorial {

with honest, starving Thomas, the pesi.
tioner, 70 tax it, not quite, but almost
out of sight and mind, that the South
may shine again, with her grasses and
her grain:
Lords Of this United Nation!
Hear the earnest supplication
Ofyour very humble sub
Scriber, starving Thomas Grub!
Tax this Cottoni Tax IL hight
Tax IL dead before we die!
Tax the planter! tax the land!
Overseer and the hand!
Screw and gin house, gin and bandit
Tax the mule and tax the plow.
Everywhere and any how! -.
Tax it top, and tax it tapl
Upper, middle, bottom crap!
Fax the lint and tax the seed!
Tax the universal weed!
Tax the very Bumble-bees
In the blossoms; tax 'esn pleased =,
Lay double premium
On the Boil and Army "wump
And double bounty set,
On rust and rot aud droush and vet.
Tax it Tax 1t don't relax IT. ,....5-
Chain It; stamp Il; d-n it; Tax it
Tax It deaf and dumb aud blind
Ont Of sight and out Of mind
Then the South shall shine again
With her grain and grasses then
For your Grandeurs, night and day
Your petitionef shall pray
The Attica Qndiana) Ledger is respon-
sible for the following:
An interesting runaway match took
place In Tippecanoe country. The chap
py couple" proceeded to the railway de-
pot at Lafayette, closely followed by the
enraged dad, armed with horsewhip,
which indicated that the arrangement
didn', suit him. He vas about to make
active demonstration, when the young
man, with q full realization of his situa-
ton, and the responsibilities Of married
life. "peeled'' his coat, rolled up his
sleeves, cast . meaning and feroeious
look at the old gent, and then turning to
his inamorsta exclaimed, "Lize, we'll die
together I" The significance of the re-
mark so Impressed tho old man that the
girl was triumphantly shipped" in
charge Of her gallant loyer. g.: = D..
Willis, when in Germany, bought a
pair ofgarters at fair, With wreath Of
flowers painted on them. Inside the
delicate fabric Was consecrated With
some verses, which the poet thus transla-
ted: -
Whsn night with morning fingers.
Aweke and stirring be-. s-,;.'': :
And with your pretty fingers -
Clasp fhis aheas Jonr .kaee. -
When day with eve reposes,
And stars begin to sec, .-
Unchsp this band Of roses,
= And, dearest, think ofme =.
While our hand Is in we may as
well scatter the following mustard seed,
shot into fair creations camp. They
wont strike deep. .-,-,.... -.
An old bachelor, after examining the
fashion plates in late monthly, discour.
Ses Us fdllows- Don't mind him ladies' !;
our word for it, he is a cynical wretch,
not worthy of attention I: =.
Little head and little bonneti
Little pate with nothing on iti -. f.
Zone might say with nothing IN r.
But that you chsrm me every minute j {.
Little lady. now know
Why maidens let their ringlets grow;
For othcrwise-as bonnets CO. ....,.r,-
Their heads would freeze, and "that is
50 .1: 49,. =:
Little waist and monstrous aouncss "
How the silk sea waves and bounces
How the hopping billows quiyer H..
Like lovely rustling river !. -, = T. .
Cd Wondrous water sifken seq e
What Hhaleboues in your depth1 must
Whatlots Of gold-aI wastefully -
Squandered on you-bight silkcu sea !.
Mary; Don't you think, Angelina
that the close Of the sermon was very
fine p g -...s .-.....
Angelina 'Oh I was 50 taken with
the Clothes Of Miss Gold~aithe that /
didn't notice the close Of the sermon
A lady curious to know, asked gen.
tleman the other day Why so many tall
gentlemen we're bachelors2 The reply
was that they were obliged to lie, crost-
wise in bed to keep their feet in, and
that wife would be in the say. :
Dovecot has enioyed three months.
three happy months, Of welded life. For
merly his Amelia wasehis "duck," now
10 calls her - pigeon" and, truth com.
pels Us 70 ada Eouter. = -. ..
What is the difference between .
honeycomb and honeymoon : A honey
comb consists of a number of "suaaa
cells" and honeymoon consists OF one
''great SELL" ..-.. =.
WoxAs.-"To her virtues We give
lore ; to her beauty admiration, and to
her hoops the whole pavement"
"Mum"i is used as title for ladies on
account of their well known love Of 81.
lence. > .-. .-.....
A wonan,s grief is often very: short,
if she loses her husband she pines only
for second. 'z4:1 =. ..''' A.. . .
Why is an old maid. like . d,ied.up
lemon1 Because she ought to- have
been squeezed, but wasnfts
Why does a donkey Ike -tbistles bet
tar than corn2 Because be is an ass.