Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1868-12-11

be appoints each individual task for the day
sets him at il with encouraging words, and goes
back % De again. / mention here, in no fault
finding spirit, but with the Difference justly due
q man who is wiser and Northier than l. that he
-u0res awfuly. In a moment Of irritation,
once | was rash enough TO say never would
sleep with him until he broke himself Of this
unfortunate habit l have kept my word with
hgoted and uuwayering determination.
Vt half past ten O'Clock Mr.. Gree ey rise-
again. He shayes himself He considers that
there is great virtue and economy in shaving
himself He does It with a duh razor, some
times humming 2 part u tune, (he knows
part Of = tune, and takes an innocent delight in
regarding it as the drst half Of Oli Hundred &;
hut parties familiar with that hymn have felt
obliged to confess that they could not recognize
il, and, therefore, the noise he makes Is doubt
less an unconscious original composition Of Mr..
Greeley and sometimes, when the razor Is es-
pecially dull, be accompanies himself with a
formula ike this &C. D--the d-- razor,
and the D. outcast who made it'll. G.
He then goes into his model garden, and ap-
plies his vast store Of agricultural knowledge to
the ameIioration Of his cabbages ; after which
he writes an able agricultural article for the in
struction Of American farmers, his soul cheerel
the while with the reflection that If cahbages
were worth eleven dollars apiece his model farm
would pay.
The next goes to breakfast, which is frugal,
ahstemious meal with him, and consists OF
nothing but Just such thing, as the market af-
fords, nothing more. He drinks nothing but
water-nothiug whatever but water, and coffee.
and tea, and Scotch ale. and lager-her, and
lemonade with a fly in it-sometimes house
fly and sometimes a horse fly, according to the
amount Of inspiration required to warm him
up to his daily duties During breakfast he
reads the Tri uae all through, and enjoys the
satisfaction Of knowing that all the brilliant
things in it, written by 9ung, and Cooke, and
Hazard, and myself, are attributed TO him by
couhling and Internal public.
After breakfast he writes a short editorial,
and puts a large dash at the beginning Of it,
(-), which is the same as if he put H. G.
after it, and takes savage pleasure in reflect
ing that none Of Us under-strappers can use
that dash, except in protaHe conversation when
chafng over the outrage. He writes this ed-
iorial in his own handwriting. lie does it be-
cause he is so vain of his penmanship. He al
ways did take an inordinate pride in his pen
man-hip. He hired out once, in MS young days,
as a writing master, but the enterprise failed
The pupils could not translate his remarks with
any certainty. His first copy was " Virtue is
It's own reward and they got it ." Washing
with soap is wholly absurd, - and 50 the trustees
discharged him for attempting to convey bad
morals, through the medium Of worse penman-
ship. But, as was saying, he writes his morn
ing editorial. Then he tries to read it over, and
can't do it, and so sends it to the printers, and
they try TO T ad it, and can't do it ; and so
they set it up at random as you may say, put
ting in what words they can make out and
when they get aground on a long word they
put in - reconstruction or ." universal suf-
frage, - and spar of aud paddle ahead and
next morning, if the degraded public can tell
what it is all about, they say II. G. wrote it,
and if they can't, they say it is one Of those i'm
beetle understrappers, and that is the end Of it.
On Sundays Mr. Greeley sits in a prominent
pew in Mr.. Chapin's church, and lets on that he
is asleep, and the congregation regard it as an
eccentricity of genius.
When he Is going to appear in public, Mr.
Greeley spends two hours on his toilet. He is
the most painstaking and elaborate man about
getting up his dress that lives in America. This
is his chiefest and his peasantest fobe. He
puts on his old white overcoat, and turns up
the collar. He puts on a soiled shirt, saved
from the wash, and leaves one end of the collar
unbuttoned. He puts on his most dilapidated
hat, turns it wrong side before, cants it on to
the back of his head, and jams an extra dent in
the side Of it. He puts on his most atrociols
boots, and spends fifteen minutes tucking the
left leg Of his pants into his boot-top in what
shall seem the most careless and unstudied way.
But his cravat-it is into the arrangement Of
his cravat that he throws all his soul, all the
powers Of his great mind. After fixing at it
for forty minutes before the glass it is perfect
it is askew every way-it overflows his coat-col-
lar on one side and sinks into oblivion on the
other-it climbs and it delves around about his
neck-the knot is conspcuously displayed un-
der his left ear, and it stretches one of its long
ends straight out horizontally, and the other
goes after his eye, in the good old Toodles fash
ion-and then, completely and marvelously ap-
pareled, Mr.. Greeley strides forth, rolling like
sailor, miracle of astounding costumery, the
awe and wonder of the nations
But haven't time to tell the rest Of his pri
vate habits. Suffice it that he is an upright and
an honest mana practical, great-brsined man
"a useful man to his nation and his generation
"a famous man who has Justly earned his ce-
lebrity-and withal the worst dressed man in
this or any other country, even though he does
take so laundering much pains and put on so
many frills about it.