The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-07-12
HoRNIN0 STAR AND CATHOLIC 1ssENeEH.
NEW ORLEANS, SUNDAY. JULY 10, 1868.
WIT AND WELDON.


chains of sloth.s
The only real safety matches, after all
Rich marriages..
Men often live long enough to become
strangers in this world.
mans life is too long when he outlive:
his character and his health.
The repentance that is delayed till old
age ia but too often q regret for the inability
to commit more sins.
AS long as a woman loves, she does
nothing else. A man has other matters to
attend to in the intervals.
People perform the greater part Of the
VOYAGE of life before taking in their ballast
hence so many sllipwrecks.
No wonder a youth gets chafed when his
whiskers are just beginning to grow, fo1
even they are "down upon him.
There is nothing so true that the damps
of error have not warped it; nothing so
false that spark of truth is not in it.
The gas is reported to be so bad in a
country town that the man who puts it out
has to take a lantern to find the posts.
man went to a judge to be qualified for
office. Said he: "Hold up your hand; I'll
swear you, but all creation couldn't qualify
you."
"Well, Susan, what do you think of mar
ried ladies' being happyf" "Why, think
there are more amt than Is, and Is than
ANTI
There is a Gaelic proverb, {" If the best
mans faults were written on his forehead,
it would make him pull his hat over his
eyes"
moments; in the dropping of the head upon
the bosom-in the pressure OF the hand upon
the brow.
The reciprocal respect due from man to
man ought always to appear in company,
and curb all the irregularities of our fancies
and humors.
An apothecary asserted, in large COM
pany, that all bitter things were hot"
iNo," replied physician, % a bitter cold is
an exception"
After a long period Of wet weather, when
they have prayed vainly for relief, the
Chinese put their gods in the rain, to see
how they like it.
Harry Murdoch, the "colored Shake
spcare reader is in Jail at Cleveland for
stealing hams. This Shakesperean should
play Hamlet alone.
A Japanese will disembowel himself as
soon as he goes into bankruptcy; and an
American will pay ten cents on the dollar,
and laugh at his creditors.
The evening; grew more dull every mo-
through the deserted fields like a distant
giant whistling for his house dog.
"What is the best attitude for self-de-
Tense Z" said pupil, Quitting on the gloves,)
to a well-known pugilist. Keep . civil
tongue in your head" was the significant
reply. =
The Chinese have a saying that only
fools and beggars feel the cold. The one
have not the wit to clOthe adequately; the
others are too poor to provide necessary
clothing"
Gno1or -,
that his drums, among other articles which
he has for sale, Cant be beat Will he
be kind, enough to tell us what they are
good for, thenf
The following is q speech by successful
competitor for prize at foot-race: " Gen
hemen, have won this cup by the use of
my legs; trust may never lose my legs
by the use of this cup"
"Let good digestion wait on Appetite
We should say SO. Good digestion, we
haven't any doubt, will make an excellent
waiter. Appetite is a good fellow, and de-
serves just such a waiter.
"My DEAR" said an anxious matron to her
daughter, cit is very wrong for young
people to be throwing kisses at each other. .
Why SO, mammal Pm sure they don't
hurt, even if they do hit"
doctor" said man to Abernethy, envy
daughter had a fit, and continued for halt
an hour without knowledge "Oh,n re-
piled the doctor, never mind that; many
people continue 80 all their lives"
In the story of the courtship of loving
couple, after all had been arranged and
fixed up, the narrator says: " Here their
lips came together, and the report which
followed was like pulling horses hoof out
the mire.n
An auctloneer, at a late sale of antiquities
put up q helmet with the following candid
observation: This, ladies and gentlemen
but whether he was brass or iron founder
cannot tell"
A churlish fellow refused to pay shoe.
black penny, saying a halfpenny was
quite enough whereupon the black
exclaimed Go along, old buffer; all tn.
I pohsh you've got is upon your shoes. and