davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
MISCELLANEOUS.
Things n Woman Can't do.

A lady writer, who is slightly disposed to
turn traitor to her sex, states that there are
three things "a woman can't do-the most
important admission that has been extort-
ed from her sex since Madame Eve ate the
apple Hear the following open confes-
sion:
First, she can't sharpen a lead pencil.
Give her ore and see. Mark how jaggedly
she hacks away every particle of wood
around the lead, leaving an unsupported
spike of the latter, which breaks imme-
diately when used. You can almost for
give the male creature his compassionate
contempt as chucking her under the chin,
he twitches it from her awkward little paw,
and rounds and tapers it in the most ravish-
ing manner, for durable use. l wish to
hear no more on that point, because when
once make up my mind, 'all the Kings
men" can't change it.
Well, then, secondly-A woman can't Go
up bundle. She takes whole newspaper
to do up paper of pins, and coil OF rope
to tie ii. and it will come undone at that.
When / 90 shopping look on with the
fascinated gaze Of bird in the neighbor-
hood of a magnetic serpent, to watch clerks
do up bundles. How the paper falls just
into the right crease how deftly they turn
il over, and tuck it under, and tie 1t up, and
then throw it down upon the counter us if
they had done the most common thing in
the world, instead of deed which might,
and in faith does task the ingenuity OF
"angels Z" 1t is perfectly astonishing.
Thirdly-I may allude to the fact that q
woman can't carry an umbrella, or rather
to the very peculiar manner in which they
perform that duty; but i won't. When
they unfurl the parachute alluded to, they
put it down over their noses, take the mid
die of the sidewalk, raking off mems hats
and women's bonnets as they go, and walk
ing right into the breakfast OF some wight,
with that disregard of the consequent dis
I gust, which to be understood mnst be telt,
as the offender cocks up one corner OF the
parachute and looks defantly at the victim
who has effrontery to come into the world
and hazard the whalebone and handle OF
her s'umbYill n
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

GRATING THE PEAR AND APPLE.-H
the gratis of either the pear or apple have
been cut at seasonable time aud we'll
preserved, they can be set throughout May
successfully. There is no risk run what
ever if the scions are in good condition.
We have pear gratis set some six or eight
years ago upon trees hundred years old
that produce abundantly and regularly.
On old and unlruitful ttees gratis can be
set with success upon the smooth GOOD Of
bearing branches Branches running 90 per-
pendicularly as possible should be selected,
as upon old trees horizotal branches are
constantly breaking of from the decay
which is continually going on where the
bark is rough from retaining water after
rains and snows.-- Gaplantoaon Telegraph.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

A Bosom PIMA young gentleman from
the country stepped into a country store
and informed the proprietor that his occu-
patton was that of q carpenter, and he de-
sired to get bosom pm emblematic of that
profession. The obliging jeweler looked
over his stock, and, finding nothing else,
showed him very fine Masonic pin. The
young man looked at it carefully.
YES" said he, "there is the compass and
square; use both of them but why didn't
they put saw in it It's tirst-rate as far as
it goes. HulIo there's G there--what does
that stand for 2"
The jeweler didn't know. The man stu.
died it carefully for moment, and bright
idea struck him. His face flushed as if he
had made discovery.
81 have it," he said; It's all right. G.
stands for gimlet. Compass, square and
gimlet That will dol will take it."
There was little touch of sadness in his
voice as he pinned the emblem on his coat
and went away muttering:
Compass, square and gimlet. do wish
there was a saw, though"
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
RECIPES, sc.
iFrom the Germantown Telegraph.

SPICE CAKE.-Five cups of flour, one
cup of sugar, one cup OF molasses, one and
a half cups butter, four eggs, one gill of
sour milk, two pounds of raisins or currants.
one teaspoonfull of soda, two teaspoonfulls
OF ground cloves, two teaspoonfulls Of
ground cinnamon, one large nutmeg
Bake slowly In deep pans.
How TO MAKE Coop YEAsT.-Make a
decoction of hops, by taking two handfulls
of hops and pouring on them three pints of
boiling water boil this down to quart,
and then strain. To the liquor add one ta-
blespoonfull of ground ginger, one of COM
mon salt, and two of molasses or brown
sugar; then stir in wheat flour enough to
make it the consistence of bread-rising.-
Let this stand until cool, then add tea.
cupfull CT yeast keep it in warm place
until it rises, then set in a cool place, as
vault or cellar.
In the hottest weather of summer / have
often kept yeast made as above pefectly
sweet for three weeks. Those who are both
cred with sour yeast, or who make it every
week would save much time and trouble by
irving the above. Do not forget the consis.
teace, as the great faul. with many is, they
have It too thin and watery.
VALVES HEAD SOUP.- Doll tnc mead
until quite tender, in salt and water. Take
the meat from the bones and cut it in small
pieces. Strain the water, and then put in
the meat with teaspoon Of cloves, two
pounded nutmegs, little black pepper, and
as much red pepper as viii lie on five-cent
piece. Add piece of butter the size of an
egg, and one pint of Drowned -four, rubbed
up in cold water. Boil all together for half
an hour, then add two chopped eggs A
whole head, liver and lights, make about
three gallons of soup. The liver should
only boil half an hour. A skinned head,
with the bones of lsg Of veal, will make
cannot be surpassed; but any soup poorly
made, of which there IS so much-i is the
least palatable of all dishes-and how much
soup is made which is covered with pure
fat, ss indigestible to most stomschs as S.
much train oil
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
AGRICULTURAL, &C.

HAYMAsINe.--There 10 annually 90 much
good grass mercileesly msnslauehtered in
making 1t into hay that it becomes the
duty of every publisher, editor and agri-
cultural writer IN the land, happening to
have better practical knowledge of hay
making. to begin with the hay season,
preaching as earnestly as they can, at every
opportunity, better principles, until a radi-
cal reform in much of our haymaking
practice shall have been achieved. Az
clover usually comes fret in the routine of
haying, and the season for putting mowers
afed is close at hard, let us bear in mind
that the best standing condition of clover
is when the plant itself is fully developed,
and the heads in full but early bloom, be-
fore any considerable proportion of them
have assumed the slightest tipge Of brown.
Then instead of being roasted, broiled and
baked in the scorching sun until it il as
black as Japan tea, as is too frequently the
case with clover hay, the best plan is to cut
after the dew is OF in the morning, cure,
spread or in the swath, as much as can be
done in five or six hours of clear, drying
weather, then twenty -four hours more In
small cocks sheltering from dew and rain,
and haul in and put away with the leaves
still green, wilted but noS in the least
crisped or blackened by the sun.
The other grasses are best cut when the
stalks and foliage have attained full growth
and the seeds are entirely developed, but
still in milky state. Like clover, they
should be cooked after few hours sun
curing, finished offin the cock, cured but
not in the least crsped, and hauled in
while still green in color, elastic and pos.
sessed of all the inviting aroma of "new
mown hay" If the foundation of bays and
stacks are made well up clear of the ground.
affording full and free ventilation under
meath, and then in stacking or slowing
away layer of clean, dry straw, say six
inches in depth, is placed every two feet
between the courses of hay, there will be
no danger Of clover or any other kind of
grass heating, moulding or rosting, though
put away great deal greener than is the
general practice, and infinitely better hay
will be the result. CoSmo, in Saturday
E0eniRg Post.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

At a club, of which Jerrold was member,
a fierce Jacobite and a friend, as fierce, of
the cause of William ILL.,, were arguing moi
silly, and disturbing less excitable converse
tionalists. At length the Jacobite, brawny
Scot, brought his fist down heavily upon the
table and roared at his adversary 81 tell
you what it is, sir, 1 spit upon your King
William !" The friend of the Prince of
Orange was not to be outmastered by mere
lungs He rose and roared back to the
Jacobite: And |, sir, spit upon your James
the Second !" Jerrold, who had been listen.
ing to the uproar in silence, hereupon rung
the bell and shouted: "Waiter, spittoons
for two"
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

Corn MEAL Fer MILCH Cows.--The state
ment is often made through the agricultural
press, that corn meal is the best feed for
cows as milk producer. Why this should
be repeated when the experience Of almost
every farmer Is to the contrary, we caunot
tell, unless it be for the reason that corn
meal is the best grain feed for cows not
giving milk. There is no grain so good
for keeping up animal heat, and producing
flesh and fat, and it is used in winter by
most dairymen for this purpose but as a
milk producer it is the poorest grain that
can be given. 0at meal and wheat bran
are far superior. These statements are
based upon actual experiment and the ex-
perience of many farmers Ohio Farmer. I.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

How GEN. SHERMAN DIsFRANCHIsED HIM
sELF.-The following anecdote is related
of Gen. Sherman:
In conversation with a number of officers,
at his headquarters, in the fall of 1861, the
Residential election was touched upon,
when some of the number addressed him
with:
General, who will you vote forH"
81 shall vote for neither
"Not vote That is very strange"
"I'll tell you why" said the General. II
never voted but once, and then l disfran-
chised myself"
Such looks of wonder and incredulity as
this produced may be imagined; but the
General, paying no attention thereto, pro-
ceeded
II never voted for President but once
in my life, and that was for Buchanan and
l am since satisfied that any person who
was id fool enough to do that, has not
sense enough to exercise the elective fran
chise. DISTINGUISHED myself and conse'
quently, shall not vote"
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

SELECTIONS FOR A NEwsPAPER.-Most
people think the selections of suitable mat
ter Tor newspaper the easiest part of the
business. How great an error To look
over an1 over hundred exchange. papers,
from which to select enough for one, espe.
cially when the question is not what shall,
but what shall not be selected, is no very
easy task. II every person who reads q
newspaper could have edited it, we should
have less complaining. Not unfrequently
it is the case that an editor looks over all
his exchange papers for something interest.
ing and can find absolutely nothing.
Every paper is dryer than contribution
box, anu yet something must be had-hi.
paper must be out with something in il
and he does the best he can To an editor
| who has the least care in what he selects
the writing he has to do is the easiest par
of his labor. Every subscriber thinks tn,
paper is printed for his own benefit, and i
| there is nothing that suits him, it must b.
stopped-it is good for nothing AS man,
| subscribers as an editor has, so many taste
he has to consult
One wants something very smart ant
something sound. One likes anecdotes, fur
and frolic. aud the next door neighbor won
ders that man of sense will put such STUFF
in his paper. Something spicy comes out
and the editor is blackguard. Next comes
something argumentatiye, and the editor il
a dull fool. And so, between them all, the
poor fellow goes down. They never reflect
that what does not please them will please
the next man; but they insist that ii the
paper does not suit them it is good fol
| nothing, and will stop it right of.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

PLANTING LIMA BEANs.--It IS not gener-
ally known, Or if known practced by few,
that Lima beans, so liable to rot after plant.
ing in wet SPELL eau be protected against
thio danger by simply greasing them well
before planting, 1t should be done thorough.
ly, and unless the season be extremely wet
it will prove a sure remedy. A few years
ago, while neighbor had 20 plant his bed
third time, ours was wholly uhinjured
This is hint worth acting upon. 1t may
insure many crop of early Lima, which
every body admits is the ''bean Of beans."--
GsTr-ent0ton Telegraph.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

Here is an example of military availabili-
ty. During the war in India, the native
princes were so hard run for ammunition
that they had to use their prisoners for pro-
iectiles. The mortars in one battery were
fed entirely with line officers, and with such
effect that breach in one of the English
strongholds was made by throwing four
colonies and three brigade inspectors against
it. The line officers were preferred because
they had thicker heads than those who filled
inferior positions. This is not only the
case with the English army, but with all
Others"
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

A reporter for London paper wrote the
verdict OF a coroner's jury, "died from hem
orrhage," and the public gained the informa-
ton the next day that the deceased "died
from her marriage" This is on par with
the experience of reporter in Detroit
paper, who, in an article on the city poor,
spoke of the great number OF persons re-
duced to poverty by the mysterious DEGREES
of Providence" His astonishment may be
imagined when he saw the passage printed
mysterious decrease of provisions
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
POETICAL.
APRIL.

April has searched the winter land,
And found her petted flowers again;
She kissed them to unfold their leaves,
She coaxed them with her sun and rain,
And filled the grass with green content,
And made the weeds and clover vain
Her fairies climb the max ed trees,
And set green caps on every stalk;
Her primroses peep bashfully
From borders of tho garden-walk
And in the Redeemed maple-tops
Her blackbird gossips sit and talk
She grcets tho patient evergreens,
She gets a store of ancient gold,
Gives tassled presents to the breeze,
And teaches rivers songs of old -
Then shakes the trees with stolen March winds,
And laughs to hear the cuckoo scold
Sometimes, To fret the sober sun,
She pulls the cloud across his face;
But finds snow-drift in the woods,
Grows meek again, and prays his grace
Waits till the last white wreath is gone,
And drops arbutus in the place.
Her croouses and violets
Give all the world q gay "Good year !"
Tall irises grow tired of green,
And get themselves a purple gear,
And tiny buds, that lie asleep
On hill and field, her summons hear.
She rocks the saucy meadow cups;
The sunsets heart anew she dyes;
She fills the dusk Of deepest woods
With vague, sweet sunshine and surprise,
And wakes the periwinkles up
To watch her with her wide, blue eyes.
AT last she deoms her work is done,
And finds willow rocking chair,
Dons speotacles Of apple-buds,
kerehief and cap of almonds rare,
And sits, very grandmother,
Shifting her sunshine needles, there.
And when she sees the deeper suns
That usher in the happy May,
She sighs to think her time is past,
And weeps because she cannot stay,
And leaves her tears upon the grass,
And turns her face, and glides away.
atlantic Monthly for Aprii.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
CONSUMPTION.

Thousands OF cases, when the pa
ttent supposed he was afflicted with
this terrible disease, have been cured
by the use OF these remedies. Extreme
emaciaiion, debility, and cough are
the usual attendants upon severe
cases OF dyspepsia or disease of tho
digestive organs. Even In cases OF
genuine Consumption, these remedies
viii be found OF the greatest benefit,
strengthening and invigoratlng.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
Rooflnn0'e German Biltcrs

Is entirely vegetable, and contains no
liquor. 1t Is II compound of Fluid Ell
tracts. The Roots, Herbs, and Bar<s
from which these extracts are made
are gathered In Germany. All the
medicinal virtues are extracted from
them by n scientific chemist. These
extracts are then forwarded 10 this
country to be used expressly for the
man u IA e ture of these Bttters. There
is no aico coIOlic substance Of any kind
used In compromising the Bitters,
hence II is the only Bitters that can
be used I'm cases here alcoholic stim-
Irlnnfs are noI ndYiRnhle.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
Enoflauo's Ucrmau 6ouic

is a combination Qf all the ingredients Of The BitterS
CiHi PURE SuIH Cruz Rum, Orange, ETC. II is used fD,
The Sdn,e diseases uts Bitters, where
p,Os alcoholic stimulus is required Ion OiN bear ia
mind that these remedies entirely different from
ai,y others GdrcrtiSol far Tie Of the diseases
anisd these being Sci0nhfe preparations Of medicinal
extracts Uliie Hs others are mere dscoctonS Of ram
in some form. The TONIC is decidedly one Of the most
pleasant and dgr6eIbls remedies ofsred 10 n.
public. It's taStc is erqnsite. n is pleasure to tax.
t. tcLile IT'S Eft-giUg, srhiiudtihg and medicinal
Gn,ijties hare caused TO be kO0n the greatest Of
II .nr
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

CAUTION 10 MILKMAIDs.-A man in Ken
lucky killed q sick COW few days since,
in whose stomach were found large brass
pin, hair. pin, and quantity of hooks and
eyes. A jury Of the neighbors, formally
summoned for the occasion, returned al
oral verdict that the unfortunate deceased
(cow) had probably swallowed piilkmaid
or q waterfall at some period of its adult
| life
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
DEBILITY.

T,cre is medicine equal 10 HoQaands German
Bhrrs or Tonic in Of Debility. They impart
tone aud rigor to the WLole system strengthen te ap
pstHe cause an enjoyment Of The food, enable hs
stomach 10 digest il, purity The blood, gtre good
sound healthy complexion eradicate the yel,olU tge
from he eye impdrt bloom TO The cheeks, and change
he patient from a short-bredted emdciated, iosdk.
and nervous tnvalid, to JsHtdeed, stout and rigOr-
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02

tno'on, and ioH all diseases ressltin2 from
bal blood.
Keep your b'ool pure keep your Liuer IN order;
Keep your dtgeSiics Orgas an sound, healthy condi
ton Jy TIE nss u Rese renseaies G.il 3i!SSt lgM
frer nssll Ldn
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
Weak and Delicate Children

are made strong by using the Bitters
or Tonic. In fact, they are Family
with perfect safety TO n child three
months old, the III mOst delicate female,
or man OF ninety.
These Peasdies are tLs bat
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
-== SSMF.=E:cE,

ladies who wish a fair skin and
good compile IiOn, free from II Yellow
tsh tinse and all other di gur IN enf,
should use these remedies occRsion-
ally. The Liver In perfect order, and
the blood pure, will result In spark
ling eyes and blooming cheeks.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
C "A CT lO NJ.

Ho?fGnd's German Remedies are c0unttrfe,ted.
Tie genuine hare The signature Of q. IL jackson
the front Of n, outside Vrdppcr IF each bottle and
the nams ef tie article LIoioH each bottle Al others
are counterfeit
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
rERMs OF THE "AsiEnlCAN.. >,

PERMs--Two DOLLARS per snnum. 90 so Il
Otpaid within the year. No paper discontinued
ntil all arrearsges are paid
These terms will ee strictly adhered 10 hereafter
If subscribers neglect or refuse to take their news
papers from the office TO which they directed, they
are responsible until they have settled the bills and
ordered them discontinued.
Postmasters will please act % our Agents, and
frank letters containing subscription money They
are permitted TO do this under the Post Once Law.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
READ THE RECOMMENDATIONS,

Thousands of letters have been re-
eeived, ,testifying I O the virtue OF these
remedies.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
LOR Rim T I N q /.

We have connected with our establishment woll
selected JOB OFFICE, which will enable us to
execute, in the ncatest style, every variety Of
Printing
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02


FROM HON. GEO. W. WOODWARD,
Chief Justice Of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania
PHILADELPHIA, MARCH 18th, 1867.
lind "Toofo7d's German Bitters" is not an intor-
tcatiig bererdae, bA is good tonic usefl disoT.
ders Q ne qtgestiUe organs aud Of great benefit ia
cases Of ds0ihty and ,eG'a Of nervous action ,s hs
:. GEO IL WOODWARD.
FROM HON. JAMES THOMPSON,
Jndge of the Supreme Court Of Pennsylvania.
PHILADELPHIA, APRIL 2Sth, 1865.
Iconsider "IIoofiand's German Bit
ters" n UdiH1bfo medicine In case of at
tncks Of Indigestion or Dyspepsia. j
can certify this from my experience
ofit. Yours, with respect,
JAMES THOMPSON.
From REV. JOSEPH H. KENNARD, DID,
Pastor Of the Tenth Baptist Church, Philadelphia.
DR,JAcKsoN-DEAR sIR ;-Ihare been frequen,lyre-
qassted 10 connect my name t0ih recommendations Of
different kinds Of medicines, but regarding The practice
as o Of my appropriate sphere Ihaus % all cases de;
eed; bm ioH clear proof IN various instances. and
particmdrly IN my oton dmily Of e nsefasss of Dr.
Ho?aands Geraan Bitters, Iaepart for once from my
usual course, 10 express my full cO7uictfoR that for
general debility Of the system and especially for Liver
ssi, rey @ {, ,d. S ,s %,,a . fdss ga ,s
j. H. KENNARD,
E'9h1, teI0'V Coates 81
Price OF the Bitters. sl.oo per bottle;
Or. q half dozen for $500.
Price of the Tonic. Sl.5o per bottles
Or, a half dozen for $3.50.
The Tonic Is put up in quart bottles
RecolIect that IL is Dr. HoQfaads German Remedies
that are universally used and highly recommend
ed; and do not aloio the Druggist 10 induce you 10
take any tang else that he may say is just as good te
cause he makes a larger prcfL on t. These Remedies
i0 BE- se by Spress 10 any locality upon duplication
PRINCIPAL OFFICE,
AT THE GERMAN MEDICINE STORE,
No. 0sl ARCH STREET Philadelphia.
CHAs. M. EVANS, Proprietor.
Formerly G. NJ JACKSON l. 90.
These Remedies are for sale by
Druggists, Storekeepers, ana medf-
cine Dealers everywhere
Do not forge. 70 sIdn,iE WsH ne article you bay in
order 70 gd nf ssnHine.
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
BUSINESS CARDS.
BOYER g. W0LVERTON,
ATTORNEYS AT Law,

S. d. Boyer AND w. J. WoLvERroN, respectfully
announce that they have entered into partnersnp
land and adjoining counties. Consultations can DO
had in the GERMAN.
Anril a lS68-ly
Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-05-02
Blood Purifiers

Hsst Remedies are DC best