The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-01-30


nervous man. He came honestly by it, fol
his mother was nervous before him. Mr.
Corban was q bachelor of forty-f1ve, re.
markedly well preserved, and rather fine
looking. He had portly figure, ford
complexion, and head of dark brown
hair, which any man might have been ex-
cused for feeling proud Of MIR. Corban
was very well off he had never Kept
house, perhaps because he knew that
elderly bachelors and widowers were gen.
orally fated to marry their housekeepers
and Mr.. Cor ban regarded marriage and the
gallows as about on par. Women and
babies he considered very unnecessary
part Of creation. The mystery of their
having been allowed an existence he could
never solve. He could not help regarding
their creation as grave mistake some
where. He boarded at Mrs. Gregg's, and
had made his home there for fifteen years
Mrs. Gregg was as much like a man as she
could be, and still be a woman.
One day last summer it became evident
TO Mr. Corban that he must take journey
west. The interest of his business de-
manded it; so he put few things into q
valise, said good morning to Mrs. Gregg,
and set out for the depot He was five
minutes late, for his necktie had given him
great deal of trouble, and he had been
unable to find pair Of stockings which
were not destitute of toes. But he had
comfoTted himself with The reflection that,
as he had boots on, nobody would be wiser
IN regard to the unclad condition of his
toes, and st last he got off. He heard the
whistle and started upon the run If there
IS anything especially calculated to put
one out OF temper, it is having to run to
catch the cars; and our hero may be ez-
cused if, when dripping with perspiration
and Pnraf,tntsl<y nf h-oofh Ia r,-Sho6
into the first car which offered, he was irri-
lated with the world, himself included
The Car was well filed. In fact there
was only one vacant seat, and that was be-
side woman. Corban turned to seek the
next Car, but was met by the conductor at
the door. No room in there, sir All
full. Anniversary meeting at Parkers-
burg. There's a seat, sir!" indicating the
one beside the woman. Corban was
troubled with a touch of the rheumatism
in his left knee, and could not stand COM
foTtably-nothiHg else could have forced
him to get so near one Of the sex He
stepped up to her and made the stereotyped
inquiry:
This seat engaged"
emo, SIR replied very sweet voice !;
and COrDin saw that the speaker had blue
eyes and golden hair.
He took seat and the lady drew the
bundle she had been resting on the cush-
ion into her lap.
.Better let me put your bundle upon
the rack?" suggested Mr.. Corban.
The lady opened her eyes in indignant
smazement, whipped off layer Of fan
mel from the package, and displayed to
the Mortified gaze Of our bachelor friend
the red, puffy face of a moon-eyed baby.
" Muzzar's little 'tweety sugar darling I"
she exclaimed, in the dialect which is
perfectly Ineligible to all BABYLON.
"AIuzzar won't let the naughty man
put the little lammie, lumpy baby up on
the rack!n
The baby struck out menacingly with
its fat fsts in the direction of Mr. Oorban,
and gave utterance to yell Of triumph.
Mr.. Co.ban broke Into cold perspirstion.
He had never been SO near a baby before
III all his life. 1t was almost too much for
him. He had strong mind to stand the
remainder of the way, or until somebody
vacated a seat but his knee gave an extra
twinge, and decided him to try and endure
the terrible state Of things. He took a
paper from his pocket and essayed to
read; but the baby had launched out in
one of those baby refrains, which is like
music III the ears OF all mothers, and the
cooling so confused our bachelor hero tt at
he could take no sense Of his paper, so he
pocketeG 1t with the savage determination
to petition the next Congress for women
with babies TO be kept in car by them
selves
At the first stopping place he was on the
lookout Tor s seat, and to his joy diseov-
cred the gentleman in the next seat max
ing preparations to leave; but before he
was fairly cut of his seat, an old lady in q
green shawl and poke bonnet had edged
into il, and cut off Mr. Corban's hopes. OF
course, she turned around and began st
once to talk TO the baby.
Deer little chicken! How cid is il
marm?"
ALMOST eight months" said the proud
mother.
"Wen I declare! what a large child OF
his age! Why, there was my Enoch, when
ne was year he warn't a mite nor grain
bigger than that child! But then EnOch
he had the whoopingcough, and the
measles, and the nettle-rash, and the col
larretta infanticide afore he was clever
months And Ii expect the Diseases Lac
some effect upon his constitution!
Il should think SC" replied tie baby.
mother.
You look tired, dear" went On the ole
lady; "the baby must be dreadful heavy
Why don't you let It's pa take him ?" witt
a reproachful glance at the savage coun
tenance of Mr. Corban.
s'rm rot his pa" grumbled Mr. Corban
pulling his hat little farther down owe
bis eyes.
"Ohl You amt. Wall, now, that
curis!' said the old lady. Il should hav
thought you war for sartin. The baby
the image Of you-jest the same kind O
nose; and it's eyes has got the same ex
preston"
Expression, indeedl Mr.. Corban wa
boiling overl he always peculiarly pride'
himself on his expression; aud here wa
this old ogre comparing him to that dump
ling faced, huckleberry- baby!
"Wan," said the old lady, slowly, a
though she had reached the conclusion q
ter some thought, 81 spose as is liker
this is a postmortem child, which mean
one as is born after the death Of its fatlel
and you married lis mother rather 500
after her husband departed this vale G
tears. Wall, that's got to be dreadful COM
mon. But my Elijah has been dead mig
onto nineteen months, and amt begun
think OF second partner; though SOUR
Hudson, he has been left SO helpless an
unfortunit with them six children of hi
that | don't know. l hope the Lor
will show me my duty, and give N
strength to take the squire for better c
for worse, if it's right and besti don
never want to shrink no duty, marn
When did your first husband die. marin
Parkersburgl' screamed the conduc
or, "Stop five minutes for refreshments
Change cars for Wallingford, Amsterda,
and MvrfJo Ridnn