The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1868-02-27
tFon the Brandon lMlsal Rspshlnas.l
A Hard-Shell Sermon.

"Aud when they ris up Girlyln the mornlnr
they wss all dead oorpusos"
my FRIEEs AND HEARERs, / will
preach onto yo', this day--wind
and weather permittin'-.trom the
thirty.ssyeutL chapter Nv. lsaiay,
thirty-six,h verse.
And he deStroyia angel smote IN
the camp 40 the .SyrseiaRs. a Asa-
dred f0rsseore and five thousand
meH'0h. And when they riS up
AIRY IN he rlornia', behold, they Was
all dead corpuses I" Aud thus it
is, my unconverted friens and
bearers, that the destroyin' angel
stalks abroad with his ment axe,
ready 10 sen US 10 the bone yard be-
fore we kin set down to breakfasts
dh. And it is said, my iriens al,
the. roses are red and violets are
bIue.ah, but it's no use tryin' 10 hon
eyfuglc round the angel Gabriel
when he toots bis horn fur yc' to
tuck 80 tails and,git under dirt.oh.
And xhsH they rf- sp dirly in The
mornia.' behold, they Eas all dead
c0rpuStS
Ny wretrhed brethering and
sistcrirg, ez l was ridin along tie
road. one day, / seed a man settin'
on the top Nv his fence with e
double barrel shotgun on his lap
tah, and q sweatin and q fannin'
bisself with an ole straw hat, an
n cussin' Nv the fourth Of July, an
North Ameriky, an the Constitu-
ton an the Supreme Court. an
the bird nv liberty, an the Presi.
dent nv the United States.dh, an
when hearn that man q cussin,
and seed that big shotgun, thinks
| | to myself, in the words nv tho
tex ah-
"AnG phenhey rix up airly in the
mvnin,' behold, they ras all dead
ccrpuSeS I
An 1 tolc Ole Roam to wo, and
SCI !, "Ny ungodly fren.' if you
swear in that air way, you will
forever an eternally ruinate yo'
immortal oul,ah, an never git
nibble when 20 90 q fshin'.0h;;"
an, sez he, "Yo' ole misshapen,
misbegottcn, mistake Nv creation
al; et yo' had to git grass out nv q
cotton crap with free niggers, you'd
git up on q stump an euss your
self ont Nv 70 ole yaller hide, ca
go 10 hell iur yo' health ah.' an
scz |, My erin irien, it cuts me
to the marrow 10 see yo' strugglin'
10 the bondage OF sin.dh r. An
sez he, My punkinf faced custom
er, ef yo' kin cline that air tall
red oak tree thar, alt SEQ anything
in this here misable land but bond
in an crab grass, yo' can take my
ole hat for hens.nest-dh.' An
SEE |. = Ny hard ;wearin frien, I'm
afeard you'll never register yo'
name in the book of eternal life.
ah" An sez he, Il went to town
last Monday, to register, an L
couldn't git sight Nv the book
for the greasy niggers. an" "Oh,
mistaken human" sez l, u trim
BILE fur yo' futur,' fur yo air on
the road leadin' 10 perdiGon-Gh."
An SEE he, "Yo' air cussed ole
liar. Tor I'm On the road leadin' to
Benton-ah." L heaved a deep
groan, my hearers. an scz L
"And trhen they RE up dirly in the
m9raia,' behold, they lras all dead
corpsses.'
An sez he, "Let EN- rise" An
sez l. "Gh, my suiYerin' feller crea-
tur, you would sue for grace, yo'
might come jine that heavenly
choir an be 'ruancipated from the
shackles of sin-ah," sez l. An be
cooked his gun, and sez he, II had
twenty-six likely niggers ',nanci-
pated on my hans wonst, an ct yo'.
open yo' jaw bout Emancipation to
me agin, III make buzzards yi.tles
out ~ yo ole swivcl'd up carcass
hcfo hell could cripple gnat.dh."
Ny constant frien's and hearers,
when / seed Chat wicked man 8
cockin' NV his sbct. gun.ah, 1 began
b. feel exceedin iuberous, an the
words Nv tao tex smo.ed upon my
ear.0h--
"And rLea they ri ap Girly in the
r1ornin, behold, they ,rGs all dead
corpuses"
But, my christian hearers, | felt
called upon TO try my han ono
more time on this objurit man-ah;
an sez /, MY bIasphemous frien,'
you air continually an furever
dam d .ah, ef yo' don't immejitly
git down Off that fence -dh, and go
20 some sequestercd spot and pray
for your souls redemption. .ah.' An
he jumped down of the fence, shore
enough, bat be didn't 60 to no Sc
queslered spot al; but my uncon-
, scious hearers, he stuck that big
ole double barrel shot gun close up
to mV reverend head .Gh, an sez he,
I've hearn sequester was the
next thing to confsticatoriAn' ef
that's yo' business in this settle
mont, yo' had better begin 10 grow
mighty small and beautifully less
dh.' An my hearers, it looked to
me as eff a drove Nv mules could
i. have ,rotted down the barrels NV
that air shot gun-0h; Snd | put
spurs to Ole Roam, an 1 gallopt
through the weeds fore and twenty
hours a, and thinks I, my hear
ers, ef that air man don't pull up
soon, he'll git 20 the end of his
rope-Gh.
| ,IAhJ ,,bo agha,, ~, s,,, y 1jrI, IL, The