The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1868-01-14
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4 Who is the oldest unatic on record?
Ans.-Time out of mind
When will the Iaundress most likeiy
lstike2 Ans-When the irons hot.
& Why IS horse more clever than 4 fox?
: Ans Because horse can run when be
! is in strap, and fox can t. le
The asugar wedding" thirty days, al-s
tier marriage IS the latest Th6s vinegar
wedding comes later.
Why is married man with a family Of
. small children like a sailor at sea? Ans.
Because he is on the look out for
1 squalls. ssH si.3a ';a,s a5ftiu &
The Emperor Of Austria has promoted
score Of men to the Upper House Of
Parliament in order to carry some Of his
measures. ss'''ss'isssss aks,F
/ A lady has invented and patented q
Nursery Washstand." It is suggested
that a epatent spankerp should be Attach
ed to it. ;'9t nst1sse9
i Why are ar. young ouul ldiie ladies kissing kissing each
other like Christianity Because fheIy
do as they would like to have others do
unto them. 20
i A Missouri paper gives notice of mar
riages in advance. They are 10 the ususl
form, with the words will be- before
the announcement.
10 EQUEsTRIANs.-W hen your horses
sit down, and you all fall off, it is merely
hacks -sedent all. Necessary explana.
tion-h accidental.)
It is suggested that New Jersey, Ohio
and California repeal their resolutions
ratifying the fourteenth amendment I'd
the Constitution, and thus defeat the
Iadoption of the same.
| Recent mail robberiess frightened "a
Cleveland man, who added to the address
| of letter: ITO dishonestP. o. officials:
For Gods sake let this go through
there is no money in it, ssisig TIN
Mrs. Jones, a farmers wife in Connect.
Iicut5 says:asI believe I've got the ten
derest hearted boys IN the world. Il Iscan't
tell one Of 'em to fetch a pail of watsr
but what he'll burst out eryin. !. a=,,.s
At the Chicago skating rinks they en-
| ploy men to fasten the ladies' skates We
fear that if We bad a s'sit' on that lob
we would be temped to get above our B,is
Iainess ti0sten Ind Dcp10erat g sisss
The reign of Radicalisai nas- rruveu-
that the people Of the United States are
the most patient of any on God s foot
stool. How long they Will remain 50,
under such crushing IA xaaion aud misap-
lpliance of the public funds, is ! ques-
ton that time must answer. Z : 8
"Did you see Dennis Mahony sieaI, The
| Ipigs" well, not exactly, your h2nor,
but | met him the day widow Flaherty
lost her grunter and sec +. ',HiIlo, Din
mis-, "Hillo," scz be. "Ah, ha, seq /.
|"0h, ho," sez he. "The deyil,n sezTIl-
The devil" sez he. And that's saII I
know about the pig, your honOra aall
SHADE-mEEs IN pAR1s..The total
number Of trees planted il Paris is ahans.-
entire area Of The city. The elm is the
principal tree in the promenades next
come the plane, the horse chestnut, MAJ
| pie, the linden, the acacia and the alum
thus. ga ei'
A Frenchman who had purchased
country seat wascomplainihg OF the want
Of birds in his garden. ssSet some traps
replied an old officer, sand they'll come.
| was once in Africa and there WASH sup
posed to be a woman within two hundred
miles. ! hung a pair of ear rings
and collar upon tree, and the next
morning found two women under the
branches" s''r
| Masked balls at the opera are once
again advertised. These balls are certain
lly one of the scandals cf Paris, and il is
really shameful that they should be toi5
Grated, specially in the first theater of the
capital. They are huge gathering OF
the loosest women and the most dissolnte
men of Paris, they take place in the
ldead of night, and many of the "assist-
ants Of bothsexes at them make point
4 Of becoming thoroughly drunk, in order
to give vivacity to their conversation.
i A tan keen-eyed oountryman walked
Into the courtroom during the progress
of trial. Stepping up to one Of the
FIRING" he requested chat the prisoners
might be pointed out to him. The law
yer he aoeusted, being somewhatof wag
pointed to the jury. The stranger, sur
1eyed them critically, when turning 70
bis informer he remarked: "Well, they
lare hard looking set, ain't they?' /
know BY their looks they onght TO go to.
the States prison, every one Of the nl
A lady not long since visiting a GENE
terry, in Gardiner, Maine, with her little
daughter, observed on one of the steues
la neatly cut figure Of horse W onder-
ling why such an emblem should be used,
they examined the description closely,
,Abut could find no clue to its appropriate;
|, ness, when. her little girl remarked: 81
presume she died of nightmare. I Nnt-
! withstanding the solemn surroundings,
1.-THE lady could but laugh at he scemical-
!, Iitv of the ieea.
,l The French Infantry are being trsined
: Ite new sharpshooter's drill. They form
: lose square; each man sets up his Y nap
lsaek before and secures it with bis tent
pegs, places the two sticks used Tor the
]. fen.p''abri on each side of the knapkek,
land spreads his blanket over it as cur
ltai1, behind which be crouchessud htes.
Al six hundred yards the men ere