Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-12-18
III slRzsGrs


Bill P. is known all over. and Bill was
AZ The ball il all his glory All his neees
saries FOR pleasure were Oh hand --ggood mus
il, pretty girls, and excellent whisky The
.sve,lig passed off rapidly, as it always does
and Bill had, at about one o'clock, become
pretty happy Stepping up to young Ia
DIV, he requested the pleasure of dancing with
her. she replied that she was engaged.
..Well, said Bill ''are Won engaged for
the next set p
She. said she was.
Scan dance with you the next. then Y
Il am engaged for that also y
''Can dance with you to nigllt?''
NO with some hesitancy.
Go TO Boston 2 said Billy, highly IN
tlignaut, and turned ca his heel.
After few moments. Bill was accosted
by the brother of the young lady. who
charged him with insulting his sister.
Bill denies but processes himself willing
&fosapesogize. il he has done wrong. and &C.
'eorllngly steps up to the young lady, when
Gio following conversation easued.
Miss Ia T 'ptiaerstaaall have l"sulted
yoa:"
You have sir. III
HWliat did / say. Miss LIZ 1s.*-e
- iSu told me to 60 TO Boston, 81
- Well, said Bill, "Irhave come to tell
Ton that you needn't go
lhss eccentric Elder s--n, Baptist
preacher, cnce said from the pulpit: ''They
say tAeFo.is no such thing as family govern
a J),,t tto,o l oil ON,
there 5s-just as much there as ever was;
but Cleaning over the pulpit, and lowering
his voice into q quiet, confidential tone) the
difference is. when | grew up, the old folks
governed the young folks but now. the
young folks govern the old folks. y
j. B. was stingy old creature, eager for
money but he was a Jealous member of a
church, and DESTINATIONS in. his religious cx-
ercises. .'John." said Oatharinc to her
brother, t'what could have made the stingy
old wretch Christian?" II can tell you"
said John. 'siIe has read that the streets OF
New Jerusalem are paved with goil, and he
i determined to get there" w
& barber shop firm at Newark foeentIy
dissolved" aad posted ap the following no.
sice ssDe dissolution OF 9eepafsirs here
sotore resisting twixt me AM Moses ] ones IN
he bafher profession, am lIcretofo resolved -
Pussons who oes must pay de scribes. Dem
what de firm oes must call On Jones, os d.
irm is insolvea. = @ s-2
4 story is told OF u Western lawyer who
lately attended religious meeting where hf
Had 10. o(F,o !,
ing experienced in such duty, hs rose and
attempted the lords prayer, and .ucceede.
very we'll until he came, to the passage ..Giv'
is this day our daily bread" when from Ii
force Of habit, he Immediately added, .witi
costs" s5' '.:y1
4 certain deacon ca an occasion Of mis-
sionary collections, wa. wont to shut hi
eyes and sing, ely abroad thou might
Gospel, F" with such earhestness and junction
that he would quite forget to see the plat.
when it came by. f'Oh yes, but Just YOU
give it something to make it fly ?" said tht
plate bearer.
For the benefit of lady readers who have
just Commenced to practice the Grecian Bend,
we append the following receipt, clipped from
an exchange:
''Thfow up the chin and out the chest. .
Assume the form of the letter S!
Like kangaroo your arms extend
.sna then you'll have the sfCsrecian Bend -
Mary, my love-" said o not very atteu
tent!ve husband to his wife, at. the dinner
fahl" .shall help you to piece, of The
hearth"
II believe, said she, ''that piece of
heagt was all that [ ever got"
There was commotion among the dishes
An attorney, about to furnish bill Of
costs, was requested by his client, baker,
to make it as light az he could p .sAh.
replied the attorney, chats what you may
say to your foreman, but it's not the way
made my bread, i
The local editor Of tie Padueah kentuc'
ian drew a sewing machine in the Pasch
House lottery. and now adgertises for a go
looking young woman 70 come and run it
for him @-f 9<ta
A country negro recently sent reply t,
an invitation, in which he regretted tina
circumstance Yepugnant to the acquiesc.
Houii prevent uia %efeplaHco W tne invite. >
The. Boston Post says: 4 Sunday pape,
says it is in favor Of women voting, if the,
ezant We should like to see the man VIII.
could make them vote, if .hey didn't wan
4 doctor retained in court as witness
oomplaincd te his judge that he was KEEP
rom bis patients SO long, they might re.
cover dnring his absence.
DrAa sos.-Come home a rolling stone
gathers no moas. Lucy Mugcins |
DEAR AioTHEg Come to Texas; a Sc,
ting hen never gets fat. John Muggins
Nj iipocticaI Yankee has described la
dies lips as the . glowing. gateway
beans, pork. sonrerout and potatoes " -. |
senator Sumner says that lit is swe, |
70 die fer ones country 1t seems pity
that IN bis case, the sweetness of the thin
should remain 50 long unenjoyed by himsel
a. The country. -
Z Young lady who was rebukod by be,
saoiher for kissing her intended justified IL,
.sct BY quoting the passage: "Whatsoeve
ye would the aien should do TO you, do yo,
even SO 10 tlienl" st
4 tell you what. SIR said Yankee OF
his opponent. "that. man don't amount to a
sH'".'n ar'thmet": add him up, and there's
nothing, to. carry!'
A white boy met a eolored lad the other
day and sakedlhun what he had such shor'
nose for 4 spect's SO it won'tpoke itself
into other peoples business" '
An editor has placed over hismarria ges
c',f rspresnnfine'a large trap. sprung, with
this motto, ''The trap down-another ninny
caught, !. ..r@ - =.
A I I a..a.1,,,l i,ui- bod tci,,iats q