Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1868-10-29
DoESTICKS ON THE GREClAN BEND


gear / have conscientiously held my
tongue when it was about as hard
work to do it as i ever undertook.
They have worn big bonnets and lit
tie bonnets, and finally they have got
to wearing absolutely no bonnet, but
only diminutive sort OF plate or
platter stuck up edgways and held in
that elegant position by some inscru-
table means TO lovely women only
known. While they wore bonnets
they adorned them with the birds Of
the air, the fishes of the sea, the
beasts of the field, and vegetables of
the earth, with no word of remon-
STRANGE from me.
They wore birds of paradise, hum
ming birds, peacocks, spring chickens,
together with partridges, pigeons,
grouse, snipe, woodcock, and other
game birds, in such profusion that if
a city girl thus attired had ventured
into the country she would have stood
a good chance of getting big charge
of shot fred into her chignon by some
enthusiastic but erring sportsman, who
might well fancy that flock Of quail
had settled in her black hair. >
They INDUCED in flowers of all sorts
and sizes-lilies, daises, marigolds,
roses, geraneums, hollyhocks, dande-
lions, mayweed, suDhowers, morning
glories, red peonies, verbenas, and
even cactus blossoms, foot across.
= They heaped vegetables up
on their bonnets. ] watched them
from green peas and radishes up
through cucumbers, tomatoes, cur.
rants, cherries and caulifowers, and
have no doubt they finally reached
summer squashes, pumpkins and the
largest cabbages.
In fishes, they tried the minnow,
the trout, the gold and silver fish,
then the founder, the porgie, the Con-
necticut shad, the soft and shining
bullbead, the graceful eel, and so to
the lordly blue fish and the noble sea
bass. Shark was also essayed with
out much success, and one lady fired
by noble ambition, actually marched
up Broadway staggering under the
weight of huge sturgeon, but this
was too inconvenient to become the
rage. They have trimmed their heads
with squirrels, rabbits, rats and mice,
meadow moles, and such "small deer, "
and heard of a young panther and a
wild cat, stuffed and mounted to life,
and reposing on the fashionable bon.
net of a Madison avenue belle.
All these doings, besides countless
other absurdities and innumerable
preposterous inventions of woman, TO
make themselves hideous, under the
name of Fashion" have | noted, OBJ.
served, regretted, and mourned over,
but said never q word about One
reason for my continued silence was,
that the ladies haven't got all the
monstrosities of fashion, by a good
many-the tailors, hatters, and other
elk and broadcloth engineers, who
tell us what we must and shall wear.
on pain of being considered unfashion.
able, have arrayed men in about as
many ridiculous nonsensicalities, in
the way Of dress, as ever the other
sex have worn, And, second reason
for my being 50 very quiet is, that il
l once begin to write about fashion |
could never tell when to stop.
But thore is limit TO most things
there is, l may say, an end to all
things, even to the silence of my gray
goose gull, on that subject of woman,
as ruled by fashion.
now behold the fair daughters Of
my country deliberately striving by
night and by day TO deform and detort
their 1.-THE and graceful figures. and
convert themselves into sort of bu.
man camel or, rather, into an Aus.
tralian kangaroo.
The other day Mary Magce, my
country cousins friend, came to see
tue said country cousin, who is visit.
ing us When l came home. at eve.
nlng' was glad to see Mary, but |
observed something queer about her
she walked with crook in her hack
ana l thought the poor girl had been
"ashlng perhaps the day before, and
so had got lame back. | felt sorry
Tor her, and so went out and bought
one oil Stiektight's Poor Mans plas.
'eis' "hen got home called her
10 one aide and said "Mary, if vou'll
get Maria Lemantha (my country
cousin to put this on your back to.
night when you 60 to bed, it will take
'ne soreness out of your bones before
morning.
~ W'li draw pretty hard, and smart
some but | guess you can stand IL for
the night, and you'd better stand
almost anything rather than b.vo
tna' back crooked. I'm truly sorry
to see you afflicted so, but this MAST,
will be certain to cure you. It's cali.
cd Poor Aaa's Plaster, but I'm posi-.