Nebraska advertiser. [volume] (Brownville, Nemaha County, N.T. [Neb.]) 1856-1882, 1868-04-09
Law vs.. Cats.

There were two Arkansas lawyers
They were good fellows-I mean good
for lawyers-and being members Of the
church, they were eac.i called Judge
And they hated cats as country doctors
hate each other.
Court was being held in the town Of
land our two judges( Clark and
ThOms) were in attendance.
The town of CONSISTED of court
house built of logs, jail built of logs, a
hotel buils of logs, and surrounding for
ests, which was also of logs.
"a friend of mine once wrote a song
about the town of L., bu: shall not
give it here. Suffice it to say, that in
its construction be found it indispensably
necessary to consult a table of log ar
ithms, and that consequently the measure,
figures and ryttns were a complete sue
cess.
But, TO my story. The Jail was, as 1
said before, built of logs, and without a
foundation. 1t was a One-stOry building,
and it was said the prisoners used 20 dig
themselves out with the ace of spades
But l always thought his.rumor had no
more foundation than the Jail had.
But, to my story. The hotel was quite
large structure, which was currently
reported to have been bgilt at Washing
ton, for the reason that no other COM
muniry was fixed for doing the log-roll-
ing required. The partitiOnsl which
divide the rooms of the hotel from each
other were of logs, and guililess Of
'chinking and daubing.'
(They used to make splendid corn.
dodgers at the hotel, the best ever eat.
In fact, there was but one OBJECTION to the
corn-dodgers, and I only discovered that
the morning left. II is this, the dogs
were allowd to sleep in the meal.chest }
But, to my story. 1t had been a hot
day. The Judge upon the bench was
hot; the lawyers had warmed with their
subjects until they had become perfectly
fiery; the sheriff, poor fellow, had 'cried'
both at the opening and closing of the
court, and of course he was warm; several
feri facias had been issued-thOugh
many of the fiery faces were attributable
as much to a portable billiard saloon,
which was kept in gallon jug back of
the court. house, as to the weather-the
jury had disagreed, and you may be sure
fhev were warm. So, You see, 1 was
right IN saving Il had been bot day.
Supper was hastily swallowed, and every
body being tired, became unat-tirot and
sought resi- in sleep.
And now, to my story. The beds were
mere shake DOWNS six or eight In a
room. Judge Clark lay with his head to
the north, on one side Judge Thomas
lay with his head to the south, on the
other side of the room. So far as that
room was concerned, it might be said
that their heads represented the north
and south poles, respectively.
All the other beds in the room were
occupied. In the middle of the room
was comparatively large space of neut-
raj gEouad in which the occupants of the
different beds had equal rights. Here,
in picturesque confusion, lay the boots,
hats, coats and breeches of the sleepers.
There were no windows, and though
the door was opon, there being no moon,
the night was very dark in that room.
And now, to my story. II was peace
full scene. The willy lawyers, who had
been contumacious as wild pigs through
the day, were now the very incarnatiOns
of meekness; for when the hungry swarm
of mosquitoes settled down and BIT them
on the one cheek, they slowly turned
and presented the other to be bitten al.
so.
But hush! harkT A deep sound strikes
the ear like rising knell
Mccoy owl
Judges Clark and Thomas were wide
awake, and sitting bolt-upright in an In
slant. Again the startling cry!
'Ye-ow! ye.Ow'
That's darned cat' whispered Clark,
'S-cat-you' hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to these dem.
onstrations. Only picked herself soft
er spot on the log upon which be was
setting, and gave vent to his satisfaction
in another 'yoWl.'
'Oh, Lord!' cried Clark, I can't lie
here and stand this! Where is she,
Thomas?'
'On your side of the room somewhere
replied Thomas between his teeth.
No, she's on your side,' said Clark.
'Ye-ow-ow.Ow
There, / told you she was on your
side,' they both exclaimed, in a breath.
And still the 'yowl' went on.
The idea now entered the heads of
both the lawyers, that by the exercise
of certain strategy they might be enabled
to execute successful flank movement on
the cat. and totally demoTalize him.
Practically each determined to file a
motion to quash' the cats attachment
for that room.
Each kept his plan to himself, and, in
the dark, unable to see the other, prep
ared for action. Strange as it may ap.
pear, it is nevertheless true, that the
same plan suggested itself to both. In
words, this plan would be about as fol-
lows: The cat IS evidently looking and
calling for another cat, with whom he
has made an appointment. / will imi-
tate cat, and this cat will think 'lother
cats around. This cat will come to-
ward me, and when he shall have arriv
ed within reach, I'll blaze away with
anything can get hold of, and knock
the music out of him.
So each Of the portly judges, noisel-
essly as cream comes TO The surface of
milk, hOisted hImself onto bis hands and