The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1868-01-09

ike TOCkcJ. JurnlER nIJeon summer
saults as made the arc of circle
The last object that caught my eye as
disappeared head foremost into the
snow-drift was young lady, with Q
magnificent display of ankles, dimity
and hoops, rushing meteor-like upon 9
similar fate just behind me. The next
moment l was buried alive, with scarce.
" hope ofR resurrection. How Iona
1t took me to crawl out cant tell
When l did, the first object beheld
was young gentleman in the act oi
lifting young lady ofa dilapida,ed
appearance into n one-horse sleigh. =
Thatyoung gentleman was Pyrkyns
The dilapidated young lady was my
friends wife's cousin.
In half = minute the one-h orsa
sleigh was out of sight, and I wai
aloue.
30 Solitude where are the charms
That sagos have seen in thy facet"
hailed a charcoal sled on it's way
to town. For the sum Of twenty five
cents the owner of the vehicle agreed
to transport me to the outskirts Of the
village, and set out on my return
with something of the feelings of Ma.
poleon during his retreat from Mos
cow.
When entered the town, at suneet,
everybody seemed to be on the grin.
l reached tho hotel and went into the
Office; the landlord grinned; 1 walked
up to the desk; the clerk grinned.
passed through the hall; the chamber
maid grinned. Invent up to my room
and stood before a large mirror by
the entire god-roll of tho Pan theon /
grinneJ myself You wouldn't have
known me. You would have taken
mo for some poor devil who had just
returned from the interior of Spitzber-
gen, whore he had spent the entire
winter in Il snow-drift, and had crawls
ed home through the smoke-stack OF a
Mississippi steamer
| ordered supper brought TO my
room that evening, aud having be.
slowed upon it all the attention il
merited, sat down before the fire TO
smoke u melancholy cigar, and ''chow
the cud of sweet aud bitter fancy" the
latter element largely pradomlnahng.
l had been thus employed half an hour
perhaps, when servant entered with
y card. II ran thus:
Mrs. Pyrkyns presents her compli-
ments to Mr.. Bricks, and begs leave TO
assure him that she had experienced
no i'll effects from the accident of the
afternoon, and to hope that no has been
equally as fortunate. Mrs. Pyrkyns
regrets to say that she has just heard
OF the unexpected death Of her grand
mother, and that the griefshe feels at
her irreparable loss will debar her the
pleasure Of receiving her friends for
Jews days"
"Mrs, PyrkyRs," SAID / TO myself,
"whO the deuce is Mrs. Pyrkyns7 I
don't know Mrs. Pyrkyns. And be-
sides, what has Mrs. Pyrkyns TO do
with the accident 81 1 have evident.
ly got q namesake in this town, and
the bearer ofthIs card has walked up the
wrong passenger"
rang for the landlord he came.
Landlord, said l, "who sent that
card hero ? at the same time handing
him the scrap Of pasteboard.
"Why, sir" said he, "siDce you have
asked me to express an opinion on tho
subject, / will say that, according 10
my deliberate conviction, it was sont
by Mrs. Py rkyns"
"And who, in the name Of all that's
IS Mrs. Pyrkyns2"
~ believe" said he, ~ have heard
you mention on several occasions, your
friends wife's cousin"
"You have" said l.
~ would have epared you some lit
tic annoyance, perhaps, if l had
thought to tell you, several days since,
that your friends wifo's cousin and
Mrs. 'Pyrkyns are one and tho same
persons"
For the first time IN my liEo felt
small enough to be carried IN your
vest pocket with perfect convenience.
l saw through the whole thing at a
glance. A stupcndous practical joke
had been concocted by my friend, and
| had gone all the way to Michigan to
carry it out.
The landlord had the temerity to
laugh at me. The perpetrator Of tho
injury tho joke-was five hundred
miles beyond my reach; the perpetra-
tor of the insult tho laugh--was be-
fore me. knocked him down long
fight of steps with a split-bottomed
chair; and when the next mornings
sun shed its beams upon the village of
Wackhackanack, friendly railroad
had carried me beyond the borders of
the State.
With the highest considerations Of
contempt for Pyrkyns, who thus Suf.
fered his wife to be cOurted by fasci-
mating stranger for the sake of mis-
orable joke, remain very truly yours,
G. WASHINGTON BRICKS.
m He whn ahavea hlnnann and d.