The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-12-23

passed under the yoke, the freshness Of
bachelor life can never again be his" Thus
did hope to congratulate myself, and thus
miserably am | Disappointed; and indeed
feel that require little self-congratulation:
can It be selfconsolation Away, horrible
thought Let me light my pipe and mediate.
Confound the old maid upstairs II shan't
be my fault If don't smoke her out this
blessed night-that is, If she really can smell
the smoke, which don't believe at all.
Well, certainly never was 30 taken aback
by any piece of news in all my lifel l could
have believed anything OF Ned Stokes except
this; but the idea that my dear, queer de-
lghtful old chum has actually gone and got
married has hattened me down altogether !
Not Ned's greatest enemy could have averred
not Ned's most cherished friend could have
feared that he had one grain of responsibility
in his compositions yet see the horrid reality !!
Only fancy Ned married-and well married
too-that's the worst OF 1t The lady hand
some, amiable, we'll educated, and rich; with
out one single flaw OF any kind to account for
the conduct of my most unintelligible friend
Had she been widowed washerwoman now
with ten children, or giantess in show, or
an Indian squaw, or anything of that sort,
there would have been a sort of extravagant
consistency about Ned's conduct. 1t would
have been like Ned. But this is really too
bad. Faithless Ned Stokes To think that
thou shouldst be traitor and desert to the
ranks of domestic martyrs Is there then no
trust to be put in man
So, the fire is getting up bit now under
my judicious poking, and the kettle is posi-
lively boiling. Now for glass of punch.
Prime tobacco this, really. Poor Ned no
more tobacco for you, old fellow 1t will never
be allowed in the house, that's certain; and
should hope that, with such wife, you would
never taint your breath and your clothes with
Al. II L. NoI
be a regular thoroughbred respectable man
after all. You will be neither one thing nor
the other, but only miserable, contemplate
half-and- half. No, no, Ned Thatwon't do. Be
something be something You have deserted
from your own ranks to those Of the enemy.
Stick to them now, and do your devoir. There
is no readmission here.
All here's my cat at last locking as inno-
cent as lamb. No one who looked in your
face, my cat, could believe tor a moment that
the guilt of chicken-stealing was lying on your
soul. That's right, my cat-stretch yourself
out upon my knee, blink at the fire, and purr.
Come, really, this is something like comfort at
last. Well, Mr.. Stokes, there Is no use in
mourning over your untimely fate and pray
do not think on any account that envy you.
Oh dear, no Your detection has given me
for the time feeling of loneliness and desc
lation. That is all. Like the mariner who
sees his shipmate swept overheard by the sea,
/ mourn your fate, but have not the slightest
desire to follow you. Well, old fellow, here's
a merry Christmas and a happy New Year to
you, at any rate, if such wish under the cir
cumstances is not altogether vain.
How came it now that have escaped get
ting married myself? / fell in love often
enough a few years ago; and once, l remem-
ber, most particularly so. Puss, you shall be
my confdant. l will tell you all about it.
Christmas Eve is the very time for story tell
ing. Listen, my cat, to true story Of
blighted affection; give sympathy for my sor-
rows, and rejoice that have got over them 80
well.