Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-08-07
Wise and Otherwise.

Wise and Otherwise.
A spirited anlidate.-Frsnk Blair.
A. scrub race-The Blair FAM
lily. .......
B0rfds for greenbacks-m marriage for
money.
Isog Tray could not be faithful if
lie were to 6e-tray. 40 .g ezst.s
How did Adam get out of the gar
den of Eden? He was Sndked out.
Some one defines Andy Johnson's
four years i'm the White House the
cheated term"
1t makes great difference whether
glasses are used over or under the
nose. =.
New rendering by Grant-"I pro-
pose TO fight it out on this line if 1t
takes all Seymour" aa
Why is bridegroom worth more
than a bride? Because she is given
away, and he is sold -.
The editor of the Cerro Gordo Re
publican is. crazy a half columns
worth over the arrival of baby at
his house. zs.a., n. ~
What IS the difference between
truth and eggs? 4 NJ
y ..Truth crushed to earth, will rise
again." but eggs won't. s.
The late Democratic Convention
has brought into vogue the phrase.
retiring for consultation as a syn
onym for ''going to drink"
~ Y E y +
Blair ethinks I see the White
House." Rn ~ r.
Seymour-"Where Pr IS
Blair-''In my minds eye, Hora-
tio.n s-,1@ Z
& Quilp, who has heretofore been a
Tniversalist, now believes there are
7 two things destined to be eternally
lost--his umbrella and the man who
stole it. ~.
If you are a lover, don't love two
girls at once. Love is a good thing,
but i: is like butter, it won't do to
have too much on hand at any one
time.
Horatio Seymour has declined so
many times, and so persistently, that
there is no doubt he will soon go into
n general decline and close up BUSH
ness.
GLOW is your husband this after
noon, Mrs. MasOn?" In H.. .....s
t"tWhy, the doctor says If he lives
till mornin' he shall. have some hopes
of him, but if lie don't he must give
him up.n s -..-.r.-... ar-......
o A boy eight years old in one Of our
public schools, having been told that
Il reptile els an animal that creeps,"
ON being asked to name one on exam
ination~day, promptly replied, IA
baby" ....... .-..u... y.~
81 Never lay stumbling block i'm the
way of q man who is trying to adj
vance himself i'm the world honestly
and uprightly, for he is likely to
walk over it, aud laugh at you after
wards. r.-s.... .-r- -
a marriage was solemnized in Hart
ford nearly two years ago, which has
been kept secret from the friends of
the parties up to the present time
The parties are now applying to be
diyorced.
Tho editor of the Sterling Gazette,
after announcing that Gen. Frank L.
Blair passed through Sterling on
Monday evenings train, adds that it
was not the first time he had seen
Frank Blair on q train. d. ...'a ...
The Chicago Times says that Gen.
Frank Blair has not drank q drop of
intoxicating liquor for four years
This is correct. Blair could not live
on such scanty rations as that four
years, or even for a day. .......
Marriage Is defined as tying knot
with the tongue which you cannot
unite with the teeth. A woman in
age. She bit her husband through
the nose, and he got divorce.
4 clock having just struck the hour
Of one, a tender Hearted mother ex-
claimed, ooh, what cruel clock !"
"Why SOP" asked a friend. "Be-
cause it struck its little one :" an
swered the very tender hearted moth
er.
What did Frank Blair do with the
silver set he had on certain occa-
sion i'm Savannah, Ga? Who stole
Mrs. Higgins spoons i'm Wayne coun-
W, n. c., i'm 1865? What says Frank
Blair ?-Rateigh North Caro!ina)
Standard. A'.a..'
Wilson, the celebrated vocalist,
was upset one day in his carriage,
near Edinburgh. A Scotch paper,
after recording the accident, said,
1--WE are happy to state that he was
able to appear the following evening
in three pieces ~
: o A little girl of three years was say
ing her prayers, not long since, when
her little brother, about four years
old came up slyly behind and pulled
her hair. Without moving her head
she palrsed and said, "please, Lord,
excuse me a minute while / kick
Herby."
The AckIey Guide says: "The Ia
dies Of this city have formed 'Soci-
able Society," with constitution and
bylaws that will not allow them to
talk about their neighbors. We are
also informed that they are living up
to this rule with perfection, which is
the ffrst instance of the kind on rec
erd."
They tell story of a married lady
not q thousand miles from this city,
who is i'm the habit of spending most
of her time in the society of her
neighbOrs. One day she was taken
jill, and sent her husband in great
haste for physician. The husband
ran short distance, and then re-
turned, exclaiming: "NIy dear,
where shall find you when / come
back ?n
An eight-hour-a-day man, on GO
ing home the other evening for his
supper, found his wife sitting in her
best clothes, on the front stoop, read
ing volume of travels How is
this" he exclaimed. "Where's my
supper?" a.....s r..r....r.,-.,...r o..
II don't know" replied the wife,
81 began to get break fast at 6 O'Clock
this morning, and my eight hours
ended ut two O'Clock i'm the after
noon.n .....-.. .....
Gentle Anna" Dickinson, said i'm
a late speech: eff L were the last
49, N m NJ a. \