The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1868-06-05
mistsllaneons SslsGtions.
Nasty ExpIaineth Democracy.

N AsDy EAplaIHelu ACy'
Petroleum V. Nasty attended the
Chicago convention, but was not de-
lighted thereat. On his return to the
salubrious "corners" he took occasion
to inform his Kentucky friends that il
might become necessary that the Dem.
ocracy should nominate Union Gen.
eral or Chief Justice Chase, whereat
they were wroth, but he modified theil
perturbed feelings by addressing them
as follows:
Feelin that rite here wuz splendid
chance for an improvin discourse on
the nacher, objicks and aims of Dem.
ocracy, l opened out on to em.
"Dimocrisy," remarkt sis distin-
guished chiefly for its elasticity in adapt
in means to ends. One wood suppose
that Post Offs is its cbeef end. In one
sense it is. Democrisy is willin to
sacrifice anything which it hez for Post
Offs. 1t mite raise Deekin Pogram's
ire to sejest the nominashen Nv Han
cock, on akkount Nv his slawterins, or
Belmont's candidate on akkount Nv his
insistin on payin off the Nashnel debt,
or Chase who hez bin in his day sus-
pected Nv bein tainted with Ablishin-
ism. But my brethring let it be re-
membered that success is the main OBJ
jick. Success is wat Bascom wants,
that l, bein continyood in offs, may
hev the means to pay for the likker ]
consoom, and to avoid the necessity Nv
bein-continyooally rekested to chalk it
down, which practis he esteems dis
gustin, and one which greatly increases
his labors. Captain McPelter wants
success that he may continyoo to hev
Assessors, Collectors and Revenoo Of
fcers with wich he kin divide the
profits Nv the $500 tax on the whiskey
he makes, and Deekin Pogram wants
success that he may hev his niggers
again, or at least that he may hev the
privilege Nv hirin EN- for 81 per month,
deduction 25 cents per day for each
days absence, without no Burow ofiser
or other military satrap hangin about
to molest or make afraid. Success is
the main pint, and eff Hancock is the
way, walk ye in it-ef Chase or Sey-
mour is the way, walk ye ditto, for
with either Nv these men all these
things we'll hev. When they come to
us they leeve ther former selvs behind.
But methinks l hear one say, Han
cock is soljer, Seymour anti-repudi-
ator, and Chase Ablishnist! Wat Nv
thatl They may be wat they like when
they 20 into ofis,-aasosiashen with US
fetches em sooner or later. Kin 700
tech pitch and not be defiledl Doolittle,
Cowan and Dixon wuz Ablishnists.
When they split from Ablishnism-the
mint they fell into our embrsces-they
became ez satisfactory Demokrats ez l
Good wish. The road down is a easy
one to travel. It's easier to slide than
to climb, which is the reason why 80
many more are damned than saved.
Democracy, like Bascom's new likker,
holds man when it gifts him. johnson
wuz good enutf Abolishnist till he
called onto us for help, and then he
wuz lost. Let Chase stay with us a
week and he'd forgit all his old ideas,
yoo bet.-Shood 700 poke that silver
pitcher at him the niggers give BIN at
Cincinnati, for defendin a fugitive, and
he'd swear like Peter he never saw it
only differin from Peter in that he'd
stick to it. And there is no goin back,
for the principal ones. Their remorse
kind o drives EN- deeper and deeper,
till they finally are worse than ez tho
they originally wuz Nv us. Let us, my
brethrin, never reject any help we kin
git. Let it come in any shape and
from any source, it'll finally assimilate
to us and be Nv us. Remember John
son, Cowan, Doolittle and Dixon swore,
when they stsrted at Philadelphia, that
they: never Good go into the ranks NV
the Dimocrisy; in year they wuz
maxim speeches for us in Connecticut.
Elk l conclooded my remarks, my
circle all agreed that it wuz safe to take
whatever we Good git from the enemy,
and we retired, l feelin that whatever
other localities mite do the Corners
wuz safe. Wat an outrage it is, though,
that the Ablishnists nominated sich a
man for Vice President ez to make
Grant perfectly safe from bein remvoed
ez Linken wuz. Eff he's elected he'll
serve out his time sure.
PETROLEUM V. NALBY, P. NJ,
witch is Postmaster.