Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-11-26
Mr. and Mrs. Smiths Headaches,

| A&A' anu mIS, OWILu > dedu6cQeS
"Such headache as 1 havep
groaned Smith, with his hair rum
Piled. his chest collapsed, and hi
back rounded out in the shape of tht
letter c. ''Such headache!'
perhaps it was the cake you att
before going to bed," remarked hi.
wife, as she poured out the ceffee.
"Cake? There is nothing more
wholesome than cake before going tc
bed, especially plum cake" answer
ed Smith dropping into chair.
Mrs. Smith feeling indisposed al
that matutinal hour for an argument
assented.
TRY little tea," suggested she.
"Tea? an old maids remedy; nc
tea for mel"
"Well, coffee"
81 don't think 1 want anything" !"
groanea Smith. 80 dear; ] am going
to have day of it,
Mrs. Smith had it on her tongue 8
end to say. "Well, that is the usual
result of night of it." but she clos
ed her teeth and bit off the exaspera.
ted and truthful rejoinder.
"Isn't this room awful hot?'' ask
ed Smith, opening six doors without
waiting for her reply, which if utter
ed, would have been that she was
shivering with the draughts.
Then seating himself at the table:
81 think l will have tea, Mrs. Smith;
it will be sure to upset or cure me; it
don't matter which," he adds, with a
desparing groan, "and may as we'll
eat piece Of beefsteak, while l am
about it-in for a penny, in for a
pound!'
81 think I'll come out and sit in
your room, Mary" said Smith to his
wife after tea and breakfast had gone
down; cit locks nice and pleasant
here, and 1 like to stay with you
when / have the headache"
Mary turned her back that he need
not see the smile lurking around her
mouth at the conclusion of the SEN
tence, and brought pillow to the
sofa for his disorganized head.
'Not that-no, not that; it will
only heat my head. o, dear! Mary
(solemnly) do you know 1 think l
made mistake in eating that beef
steak2'
Mary, with heroism which should
place her name in "Fox's Book of
Martyrs" did not reply, II knew it at
the time, Smith, and my only chance
of preventing you from eating was to
refrain from asking you not to eat; so
l didn't say So"
"Mary," said Smith, as she seated
herself to sewing, don't you think 1
should feel better if 1 had jug of
boiling water at my feet?''
Perhaps you would" said Mary,
dropping her spools and thimble and
buttons on the floor to hunt up the
jug and hotwater herself, for Smith
had the opinion that a wife should
attend personally to these things, al
though three fat servants might sit
sucking their thumbs in the kitchen
and cooking their heels On the range
perhaps you would"
MARY" asked Smith, after this
was carried out, "don't
you think this bottle might be push
ed a little closer? / don't feel it
except on one foot"
"Yes," said Mary, dropping her
work once more, 'Is that right"
30, yes" answered Smith, rolling
his left eye in ecstacy, as the heat
penetrated the soles of his feet; show
nice it is to have you round when 1
am sick"
The same funny look came again
around the corners Of Mary's mouth,
but Smith, bless his ebtuse soul,
didn't see it.
"Mary," said Smith, ~ think
could sleep now if you would close
those curtains and things, and carry
the confounded bird down stairs, and
shut out the light."i
EYES," said Mary, sand I'll take
my sewing into the next room"
And gathering up her work basket
and Smiths paDtaloons, that had
several vital buttons missing, and
which he wanted replaced, Mary de-
parted.
'Mary," said Smith, suddenly ap-
pearing at the door of the room
where she had seated herself, with
his hair rampant, and a blanket
shawl sticking to his back, 'it's no
use. don't feel bit better. I'm
sure / dent know what to do. Do
you really think it was the cake?"
Mary's patience was waning. Il
know it John--it always makes you
lick. Don't you recollect asked
you not to eat it at the timer"
Well, all I can say is" said Smith
Il don't believe it. D, dear! where
are the morning papers?"
That was another way of asking
Mary to read them to him, which
she did, and without saying as Smith
lid on similar occasions:
"Oh, there is nothing in the paper
his morning but the same old tariff
discussions; in fact, they are quite
lull-hers they are-perhaps you
,sn pick out something for yourself
At twelve Smith sank into the arms