Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1868-02-26
arietieS.

woman is at her middle age. We are con-
scientious in such cases, and so spent seve-
raj hours yesterday, here and there, in
trying to get satisfactory solution. One
lady-she was 1S-said middle age was
from 80 to 40 another-she was 30
said from 40 to 80 j.; another-she was l6
said from - to 33 another she was 40
said from 10 to Go; another she was
single and won't see 10 again in a hurry
said, For my part | have never reached
that period and never expect to, though |
see no reason why [ am not good for 60.
I'm Young now, and | always shall be-
There Is no such thing as middle age IN
our sex. 1t is you men who 90 out into
the contaminating world who grow old and
ugly, and all that" This is all we have
as reply to our correspondent.-Boston
Post.
Nasty" remarks, in private note
There is a good deal of oratory in me,
but | don't do as well as [ can in any one
place, out of respect to the memory of Pat
rick Henry"
John Paul saws: L saw one moral piano.
rama once, and don't want to see another.
1t was of the creation, and when the fir
mament appeared, a young lady at
cracked piano sang and played, g When
the stars are in the quiet sky" etc. \
little of that goes a great way with us.
When is little poem like an acre of
land unpaid for? When it is Anacreontic.
Song of the dentist while filling the pa
tents teeth" o amt he got the nerve "
Why is the vowel o the only one ever
sounded? Because all the others are in
audible.
An appropriate hotel for old maids to
stop at" The Mansion imam shunj House" :"
The woman wasn't posted who hurried
to the Jail with porringer to bail out her
husband
+ If a fat man wishes to get poor, let him
frequent gaming houses Prentice.
Emerson describes Plato thus: /" He
was all but one he was one he was two,
+ and not otherwise" This is lucid de-
scription.
\ German applied to Judge Stroud, to
be relieved from setting upon jury.
What Is your excuse - said his Honor.
= can't speak English was the reply.
. You have nothing to do with the speak
ing" said the Judge But [ can't IN
derStand good EngliSh." That's no ex-
cuse," replied the Judge. " You are not
! likely TO hear good English at the bar
] EMERSON on THE ORIGIN OF THE HOUSE
OF LoRps.-The most epigramatic state
ment in Mr.. Emerson's writings has been
a IL
approval 1t is this: Twenty thousand
thieves landed at Hastings, and founded
the House of Lords" For pure wit can
this be exceeded?
Mr. Gladstone, in recent speech on
Irish affairs, contended specially for the
principle of religious equality among the
inhabitants. One short sentence in this
part of his speech should be pondered by
all religious disputants. 1t is this: Moth
ing can be hostile to religion which is
agreeable to- justice.
\ gentleman who wanted to make a
speech to a Sunday school, thought he
would adopt the colloquial style, and this
is what happened: =" Now, boys, what does
a man want when he goes fishing ?" A
shrill voice in the crowd went direct to the
point with. Wants bite,''
THE CONTROVERSY at Washington in
NUTSHELL You lie'" says johnson !;
" Ulysses Grant"
\ shrewd landlord in England hangs
out Il sign with the inscription, Good beer
sold here, but don't take my word for it. .
Women of iron constitutions-dumb
bellies.
4 miners lamentation-" Vein. vein /,
give ore"
\ spirit-stirring strain-the bar tenders
song.
Women often 90 to the destruction OF
their husbands fortunes through buy ways.
Why is "A son who objects to his mothers
second marriage like an exhausted pedes-
trian? Because he can't 90 step father
Felis says the Cincinnatians don't cele-
brate the anniversary of the battle of New
Orleans. They are too much devoted to
packing ham.
For several weeks the Springfield Leader
kept the following conspieuously at the head
Of its local column:
- boy wanted at tnlS OHice-
4 few DAYS since the editors wife pre-
sented him with "A boy" which, in a
highly significant way. shows the value OF
advertising.
When Adam got tired naming his de-
scendents, he said. q Let all the rest be
called Smith"
A child asked minister, Do you
think my father will 60 to heaven? >
" Yes" was the reply. WE'LL" returned
the child, :" if he don't have his own way
he won't stay long"
\ negro preacher was lately permitted
to speak to the convicts in the Illinois
State Prison at Joliet. The Democrats
in his audience We're highly indignant
some of them crying, 6 Put the niger
out .
An exchange gets off the following shot
at Chicago: Du Chaulu is a wonderful
man. He had scarcely gotten back from
his perilous explorations in Africa, wher
he went to Chicago, and has once more re-
turned to New York in safety"
An orator, warming with his subject
, exclaimed, a guess there amt man
woman or child in the house who has ar
. rived at the age of fifty years, but wha
: has felt this great truth laundering through
), his or its mind for centuries"
Y The New York Eceni,ag Post thus han
a PLY versifies the case of connubiaI inf
licity at Lee;
n There ia an old counle IN,