The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-12-29

Z, There is difference between hap
piness and wisdom-he that thinks
himself the happiest man really is 80,
but he that thinks himself the wisest
man, is most generally found to be
the biggest fool
A 'ttle fellow was eating some
bread nd milk, when he turned
round to his mother, and said, "Oh,
mother, I'm full of glory! There was
a sunbeam on my spoon, and I swal-
lowed it,"
Sydney Smith, that wise and witty
parson, somewhere remarks in his
many spicy "talks," Country life is
very good; in fact, the best-for cat
tie; but us for me, / must have So
ciety."
Mother" said Ike Partington,
"did you know that the .:.on horse
has but one ear?" Zone ear! merci-
fnl gracious, child, what do you
mean?" "Why, the engineer, of
course"
"Why do you always beat me down
In my prices?" because ,ou are n
vulgar fraction of humanity. and n
vulgar fraction should be reduced to
its lowest terms"
ORIGIN OF WORDS. The word
| debt is composed of the initials of
! "dun every body twice" Credit
is formed of the initial letters of
"call regularly every day-T'll trust. {"
A little girl wanted to say that she
had fan, but hal forgotten what it
was called; SO she described it as ga
thing to brush the warm all off Won
with"
"A Legal Tender"-a decided
contradiction of terms; for we must
say, that within our experience We
never yet knew anything legal" that
ever was "tender."
Il believe the jury has been inoc
culated with stupidity" said Brief
less. That may be" said his oppo-
nent, "but the bar are of the opinion
that you had it in the natural way"
Mrs. Darlington says there must
be some kin between poets and pull
lets, for they are both chanting their
lays.
1t is not strange that when a man
is very fond of his glass, he becomes
n tumbler
Some of the strong minded women
denounce marriage. No doubt they
think there is something very child
ish about it.
Lynching down South is now de-
scrlbed as "a man kicking ut the
United States from the end of Il
tight-rope, very dead"
"Timc works wonders" as a lady
said, when she married after thirteen
years courtship.
A bachelor, according to the latest
definition. is man who has lost the
opportunity of making woman
miserable.
A white boy met n colored lad the
other day, and asked him why he had
such short nose. 81 spect's SO it
won't poke itself in other peoples
business"
a certain man says one of his sons
knows nothing, and the other one
does. The question is, which knows
the most?
A French lady, Aearing how q
Capuchin had been devOured by
wolves, exclaimed. "Poor beasts;
hunger must be n terrible thing"
Cali bitters have heating tenden-
cy or effect. said doctor to young
lady. "You will except bitter cold
morning, won't you, doctor?" in
quired the lady.
A New York church proposes to
have full band, string and brass, in
the place Of an organ.
Mock TURTLE. Calling n husband
"my dear" in public, and "you
brute" in private.
What is that animal that hasgthe
head of cat, and the tail of cat,
and tho ways of cat, and yet which
isn't cat? A kitten.
Patience is good, but perseverance,
is better. While the former stands
a stole under difficulties, the latter
whips them out of the ring.
81 would bestow my daughter, "
said Themistocles, "upon q man
without money. rather than upon
money withou q man."
Kerosene oil is said to be an effica-