The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-03-08


An article stolen from q ship is not dis
| similar to the latter, as it is ship prigged.
When are skipping lambs like library
volumesf When they are boundin' sheep.
Horticulture-1nw winter your quiet flower
garden is soon changed into o bare garden.
-" Mum" is used as a title for ladies, on
account of their wen-known love of silence.
Prentice says, Many member of Con-
gress, when he is il his seat, is out of his
place."
Two things worthy the attention of public
reformers- milk and extended
liquor.
Ladies who wear No. CATERS denounce
the short-skirted dresses as most unbe-
coming.
Social gardening-Weeding your &C.
quaintance, and cutting your intimate
friends.
Why ought dentists to be good cricketersi
Because they are adopts at " drawing the
stumps."
If a man toasts tho girl of his heart, is
that reason why he should be debarred
from any but herf
So it seems" as the young lady OBJ
served to the sewing machine when she put
the work before it.
Editors are fond of the word Impartial"
A Connecticut editor once gave an F" impair
tiaf account of q freshet."
1t is great convenience for doctor to
have patients on the same street. as he can
kill two birds with one stone.
The difference between sailor and tea
adulterant, is-one is toiler of the seas,
and the other a soiler of the teas.
What is the difference between pound
of meat and a drummer boy7 One weighs
pound, and the other pounds away.
= Why are sunbeams in breezy weather like
persons borrowing money f[eBecause they.
are rays in the wind (raising the windy.
What is the difference between locker
on at an auction mart and mariner9 One
sees the sale and the other sails the sea.
What is the difference between special
constable and a super-annuated constable
The formers sworn in, the latter's-worn
out.
Why is flirt like dipper attached to
hydrantf Because everybody is at liberty
to drink from it, nobody desires to take it
away.
The gentleman whose nose was "out of
joint" by personal affront, had it straight
ened by the application of thumb and
finger.
many white beans are there in ten black
ones ~ .Ten, sir, ef you skin 'em," was
the reply.
: How the prohibitory law is enforced
Every man who wants liquor says that he
can purchase any quantity that he has =
money to pay for.
An urchin, down east, being unable to
drive an obstinate cow out of the barn, set
it on fire. "She run them" said the hone
full to his mother.
A mother thus addressed three-year-
old son, :. Dan, isn't this dear little babya''
Dan hesitated n moment, turned up his
eyes, and answered, &" Yes, but its bald
headed"
"What has been your business ~ said a
judge to a prisoner at the bar. "Why,
your honor, l used to be Dentist
now am pugilist; then l put teeth in
now knock 'em out"
A dandy-of twenty -sixs fling been
termed an old bachelor" appealed to an
elderly gentleman to deeide-whether he
should be called old or not, giving his age.
"Twenty -six!" said the elderly gentleman.
" 1t is owing to how you take it. Now, for
a man it is young enough but for goose
it is rather old"
"Come home, my son. said a parent to
one who had been absent from home for
some time come home, and your
mother will kill the fatted calf for you"
" Tell her not to do it, father" replied
the offspring; "for 1 have lived on veal
quarter of pig instead"
LIGHT AND FANTAsrIc.-Young ladies
will be interested to hear that there is
class of men who practice Waiting in the
ordinary avocations of daily life. We refer
to directors of public companies; it is
hardly possible to tstkc-Hp- newspaper
without reading that some OF them "retIrc
by rotation"
CAUTION TO. MILKMAIDs.-Am man in Ken
lucky killed a sick COW fsw days since, in
whose stomach was found n large brass pin,
Il hair-pin, and quantity OF hooks and
eyes. < jury of the neighbors, formally
summoned for the occasion, returned an
oral verdict. that the unfortunate deceased
(cow) had probably swallowed u miikmaid
or waterfall, at some period of its adult
life. -.-'.