National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1868-05-01

An editor advertised "Boy want
I'd At this Office" In few days his
wife presented him with a fine boy,
showing the advantage Of advertis-
ing.
Some literary mouser has discov-
cred that the "EditOrs Drawer" i'm
Harper's Monthly is made up by a
woman. So are editors drawers
generally.
"Bobby, why don't your mother
sew up your trowsersr "Cause
she's at the vestry, sewing for the
beathen.
Mrs. Jones, q farmers wife in
Connecticut, says she believes she
has got the tenderest-hearted boys
in the world. She can't tell one of
them to fetch pail Of water, but he
will burst out crying.
A green one who had crossed the
Atlantic tells story of a storm
where the rain poured down in such
torrents that the ocean rose ten inch.
es. There's no mistake,' sid he !;
'besides the captain kept mark on
the side of the vessel.
Wife, ifyou are going out, pray
Why don't you put your bonnet on,
said Spriggins to his better half
why, I've had it on this hour. dear,
waiting for YOU Spriggins l. ,dn't
specially inspected a square inch or
two on the top of his wife's head.
The Chicago Bible,' a new cdi
ton Of the Scriptures, is announced
~ forthcoming. The advertisement
says that new feature of the edi
ton will be family record suited
to the wants OF the day. In adGi
ton to the pages ordinarily devoted
to births, marriages and deaths,
several leaves will be added for di.
yQrces.
A Dutchman had two pigs, q
large one and small one. The
small one being the elder, he was
trying to explain to customer, ant
he did it in this wise: The leetl'
pig Is the biggest Upon this his
wife, assuming to correct him said
he no seak as gOot English as
he no mean that the leetle pig ish d,
biggest, but de Youngest pig ish d,
Oldest
Rats cannot live in Alaska be
cause their holes freeze up solid as
fast as they dig them. Naturally
the rats get discouraged. At. st
Thomas the earthquakes turn theil
holes wrong side out forty .thre,
times minute. This surprises the
rats, and they leave Oh the frs
steamer.
The following address upon
letter rather puzzled the PQstmas
Wood
John
Mass
A friend suggested 70 him tina
the letter might be intended fol
John Underwood, Andover, Mass.
In a neighbOring city there live
On Unmatched couple who seldom
allow day to wass without indulg
ing in violent quarrels. One da,
after the wife had exhausted be
stock Of invectivcs; she pointed to
cat and dog lying near the stove
and accosted her husband with:
Look at them beasts; they dom
quarrel
'Ah,' replied the confident hui
band, tic them together and the
aee.'
A learned Professor in a Ne
England college was accustomed
demand Of students an excu.
whenever they were dilatory at re
itation. The excuse given, no iaw;
riably added: Very well; b,
dont let it happen again.
One morning q married studeI
happening to be late, was lzOmptl
Intercepted "a tothe cause. Sligh
" embarrassed, no replied: I'll
truth Is, Sir, had an addition ,
my family this morning, and it VS.
not convenient to be here sonnel
very WE'LL replied the profe asor,
his quick nervous manner, We,
veil; but don't les it happen again
A correspondents from Jasp,
Tenn, writes that during Brag:
retreat from Middle Tennessee, tv
rebel soldiers stopped at the hou
OF Mr.. K, and one of them III
posed u trade for q very fne hors
but thought that a largo white ND
on the horses forehead leSscned i
value somewhat,
why sop
Because, said the soldier, Y
Yankees can see il q great. way O
'Never mind that said his CO
panion; tother end is always
wards the YankseS'
II you should see q building "
IN flames, what three eminent au
ors would YOU be likely to cali
6rst' Why, Dickens, How
Burns,
A lady Of molc wealth than c
ture applied to q Boston bookst,
recently for Dickens novel, pa,
Copperheadl,
An English magazine has an ~
Gle on Some Of Tpuuysnn,. Ia IN ,no,,