The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-11-27
The National nrOnSY.


From he N. Y. World
We had supposed that with the production
upon this earthly scene of the late Hon. Isaac
Newton, Commissioner Of Agriculture, nature
had done her worst in the way of making
bores. To call parson a TOOL was long ago
decided in one of the Year books (was it a
dream, or did Mr.. Evarts, in his speech at
the dinner given in his honor, cite the story
as from the Year book y not to be- aclionable,
since a parson might be none the worse par
son for being fool. 70 call Commissioner
Of Agriculture now at rest from the turmoil
and the turnips of earth bore, can hardly
be thought ill-usage of the dead since
Lord Mscaulay is declared by Mrs. Har-
riet Beecher Stowe to have assured her
'that, if he were in search OF u safe
guardian for an orphan of good estate, he
would look up the most notorious bore in
the neighborhood." The moral exoellencies
which, according to the creed OF Lord Macau-
lay, must have adorned the soul of our late
commissioner, may possibly have failed to
shield his bucolic ghost from the Indignation
of the greater ghost whose name he bore;
for the immortal astronomer had a sharp, not
to say shrewish temper while he d Welt below
the stars; and 81 QliS porun manibus locus, We
don't believe he can nave seen with COM
placency his shining name bedimmed by the
words without knowledge OF his American
Damesake. But wherever the ghost of Com
missioner Newton may be, and in whatever
case, we desire TO do him usticeI He was, in
truth, the saddest bore OF his times but q
sadder bore than he mas arisen to succeed him.
That is, if the Tribune may be believed.
For the Tribune gives Us what purports to
be a synopsis of the Forthcoming "Annual
Report OF Mr.. Commissioner OF Agriculture
Capron, and If this synopsis in auy wise in
dicates the real character OF the said "Annull
Report" 1t must certainly as far transcend
the most tedious efforts of the late and, intel
lectually speaking, unlamented Newton, az
the heavens are high above the earth, aui
the Apollo Belvidere more beautiful than the
marty red Lincoln.
Caprop, the Tribune assure us, capsrs through
a "tull volume of t1etve hundred pages" with
"thirty-seven FULL page illustrations" la
this am pie tome he has found room not only
Tor his own "keport," and Ter the "reports of
the heads of bureaus" but also for about
"twenty five papers on different subjects from
the pens OF writers who dwell in various SEQ
tions Of the country" 1t is really appalling
to think Of the ''vast and various mlsInfoT-
nation" which Capron has, in all human pro-
bability, thus contrived to put together for
the further adding of Congressional pates,
which certainly needed no such perturbation.
One Of Caprons contributors, We are informed,
has been good enough to write a treatise
'On ramie, or Chinese grass, containing
history Of experimental test "a the
British colonies resulting from htir jeaL-
ousy of thus country and an account OF the
Efforts that have been made by the Agrlcultu-
raj Department in the same direction" The
italics here are our own, and We shall be CRATE
ful to anybody who will tell us how the
''hstory of experimental test' concerns agri-
culture, or i'll what way the "Brltlsh colonies
result from jealousy OF this counrtry," or, in
fact, any thing at all about the matter. An-
~, nf aIn
singular Agricultural product described as
''the goat antelope OF the Rocky Noun
taipB." But this may be u nlsprint Tor
''cantelope," and may promise us new
variety OF that delecEablo melon. A third
shows farmers how 'tO manufaoture goat
fleece for commercial purposes" Information
NhiUh We might have supposed could with
more preprety be addressed 10 wool spinners.
George Husman, OF Missouri, has long
paper ON wine aud wiDe-Taking; and Edward
a. Samuels, OF Boston, one on the value of
birds TO FARMS" which latter article We de-
vOutly hope may prove TO be prose transla-
lion OF MIR. LOngtellow's poem on the same
subject. "Mrs. Ellen 5. Topper, OF Iowa, AN
enthusiastic worker with honey bees, has au
article on bee-keepiug in winter" 'One of
the department officers has q very readable
article on industrial colleges" and other arti-
oles treat OF Southern agriculture, rice culture,
Southern fruits, orange and citrOn culture,
and similar topics not heretofore common in such
reportS," while ''still other articles relate to
irrigation by citizen OF Arizona, liquid ma
nuripg from New York, farmers clubs from
Wisconsin, model farm. buildings, Pennsylva-
| mia butter" etc. etc.
Arizona is desperately dry land, SO dry
| that even General Halleok thought it dry,
| which is a frightiul thing to say OF it; and if
Arizona can be irrigated" even "by oiti-
| zen" it is matter OF thankfuness. But is it
not horrible that Capron, not content with
emptying five or six hundred pages of himself
upon us, should call together u caucus OF all
his friends and acqnalDtances and empty
them also upon us According this synopsis
| of his work, Capron has constituted himself
the editor of monstrous annual magazine,
which the country is to pay for gsttiDg up and
publishing, without the remotest chance of
ever getting back so much as a sixpepcs for
it in the way OF sales or of subscriptions.
Christopher North used to say that every
unpaid contributor was, by the force OF
the term, an ass. Whatever other points
of resemblance there may be between
that useful beast of burden aud Commissioner
Al