The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-03-05
Varieties.

"A sentimental editor says: 'It is COM
forting to know that one eye watches fondly
for our coming, and looks brighter when we
come" A contemporary is grieved to learn that
his brother of the quill has wife with one
eye."
The white Fawn" is a noun of multi
tude used to designate the little dears in it.
"A writer in Once Week tells this story:
"A friend of mine was riding on the outside of
North Devon coach from Barnstaple to Il.ra-
combe, when the driver said to him, I've had
coin guv' me to-day 200 year old. Did you ever
see coin 200 year old?' 'Oh, yes; have one
myself 1000 years DID, 'Ah,' said the driver.
have yep and spoke no more during the rest
OF the journey. When the coach arrived at its
destination, the driver came up to my friend
with an intensely self-satisfied air, and said, Il
told you as we druv' along 1 had a coin 200 year
DID, Yes. And you said to me as you had
one 1000 year DID, Yes, so have Now it's
lie.' what do you mean by that?' What do
mean? Why, tbs only 1867 now And they
tell me that the schoolmaster is abroad
An urehin not quite three years OLE, said
to his sister while munching piece of ginger
bread:
"Sis take half of dis cake to keep to afternoon
when 1 get Cross
This is nearly as good as the story of the child
who beloved from the top of the stairs:
"Ma, Hannah won't pacify mel"
"A lady being invited to send in a toast to
be read at the anniversary celebration of the
Pilgrim Fathers, furnished the following 1t
is spicy enough to flavor half dozen anniver-
sary dinners. "The Pilgrim Fathers for
soothl What had they to endure in compari-
son to the Pilgrim Mothers? 1t is true they
had hunger, and cold, and sickness, and dan
| ger-foes without and within-but the unfor-
tunate Pilgrim Mothers! they had not only
these to endure, but they had the Pilgrim
Fathers alsol and yet their names are never
mentioned"
General Cluseret has been called up before
the Paris "juge d. Instruction. to show how he
obtains his title of general. His real offence is
remarks on the French army.
"A certain cockney, overcome BY his sensi-
bilites, tainted at the grave of his fourth spouse
"What shall we do with him?" asked a per-
picked friend of his. "Let him alone" said
waggish bystander, "he'n soon revive"
They have a quiet way of announcing things
| in Paris. The AUiaer National says OF its edi-
tor: "Mr. Peyrat enters the prison of Saint
Pelagie to-day, in execution of the sentence
of one months Imprisonment for press mis-
demeanor."
| An enthusiastic sdUant in England, Sir s..
Baker, declares the possibility of making gar
dens out of the African desert and civilizing the
continent. This is to be accomplished by ar
tificially extending the area annually over
1 49, Th01ai inc SnAGn f.
ing ON the sources of the Nile, science now
occupies itself in practically extending Its
| resources. -
marked to Republican, apropos of A. John
SON; "You got the old fool in, now you may
get him out.
"A missionary among the freedmen in Ten
nesee, after relating to some little colored
children the story of Ananias and Sapphira
asked them why God does not strike every
body dead who tells lie, when one of the
least in the room quickly answered, because
there wouldn't be anybody left"
Some of the papers speak of the interest
ing article in this months Galaxy, in regard
to the secret history of subsized newspa-
per-" as if they were doubtful of its truth
The New Y ork Times declares that there Is
no room for doubt. All the leading iaets.oi 'ne
case were brought out on a trial in London
wear or two ago, in which one OF 'he persons
ar,nIovod On the concern-the Chronicle was
the paper in question-sued for his salary
T,'o art;cle in the Galaxy is written by Olive
Loan. 90 and no one, certainly, could have been
more familiar with all the details which she
norrates; the Mr.. Peyton of the narrative, the
American gentleman employed to edit the
subsidized organ, being Mr.. H. A. Delisle, al
that time her husband. The story is very
interesting one, and, we believe, strictly true
in all its details.
1t is rumored that Miss McVlckar Oh "ni'
cago is to become Mrs Edwin Bootn.
A grand jury in New York e'a'e' WIN @
sharp eye to personal comfort nave inui0'eO
tho co,rt- -bopse in which they met as com
> mon nuisance.