The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-03-21
Budget of Tnn.

tv bu0gft OF " mn. o,r.-r
"Mynheer, do you know what for we call our
boy Hans! y "Do not, really" "Well, tell
you. Der reason we call our boy Hans, that ish
his name"
What stone should have been placed at The
Garden of Eden after the expulsion? Adam amt
in (Adamantine). ,a.t.. .....,
'"Oh, that my father was seized with a remit
tent feverw sighed young spendthrift at COL
lege. .fH 'a,st
Advice is like snow: the softer it falls, the
longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks
into the Misunderstanding. %
The young fellow who engaged himself to half
dozen young women is undoubtedly beau of
promise. ..s.l .s
Why is prudent man like pin2 Because
his head prevents him from going too far.
The dandy who makes the greatest flourish
Isn't always il. tourishing condition.
Old Uncle Ned, fro down dat hoe!
And Dinah, drop dat kitchen dough!
We now are free, wild noifin to do
But 70 dance all night and all day too.
De poor white trash hab nofin to say,
But to work. work and de taxes pay.
While the Dressed darkeys dance dar fill,
Letade white trash foot de fiddler's bill.
An urchin not quite three years old, said to
his sister, while munchins piece of ginger
bread: isis, take half d dis cake to keep to af-
ternoon, when / get cross This is nearly as
good as the story of the child who beloved
from the top of the stairs: Ma, Hannah won't
paciiy me-"
A little four-year old child in Portland told
his father he was a fool. On being reprimanded
- al ,rnI, Ia
he toaded up 10 the insuted parent aud ex.
claimed, "Papa, I'm sorry you's fool" ~
Henry Ward Beecher says: Life would be
perpetual lea hunt If a man were obliged TO run
down all the inuendoss, nveracities, insinuations
and suspicious, which are uttered against him.
4 young lady, while on her way to be married,
Was run over and killed. A confirmed old maid
savagelv remarked: "She avoided more linger-
ing and horrible destiny"
EPITAPH on DOG.
Paws stranger, paws Here lies poor Jack;
Ills case was truly hard:
a dog that over four feet stood,
= Lies buried i'll yard
An Exchange has this bnat.y paragraph cana.
MAS B. Knott has obtained a divorce from his wife
in 81. Lonis on the ground Of cruel and abusive
treatment He was Knott her husband and she
was Knott his wife. Now she u not; that is to
say 81, i Knott. and he is divorced, still he is
Knott. Why not:'
A very talkativo little girl used often to an
noy her mother by making remarks about visi-
tors that came to the house On one occasion
gentleman was expected whose nose had been
accidentally fattened nearly 10 his face. The
mother cautioned the child to say nothing about
this feature. Imagine her CONSERVATION when
the ltt.s one silently exclaimed: Ma you told
me MT to say anything about Mr. Smiths nose.
Why, lie hasn't got ANY,
TIE CAUSE wonder what causes my eyes
n be So weak = said flop 10 a gentleman.
They ara in weak place replied the latter.
A Richmond correspondent mentions, as
sign OF progress in Virginia, that nobody was
amazed ia the Convention, the other day, when
"a very black member called page TO him and
sent u one Of the leading white members for "a
chaw d tobakker,' which was cour teously sent
in the form Of ten cent. plug. Black gentle.
man Bit off biz quid anu sent the remainder
back"
A LIvrrY Coon HUNT.-The Dayton Ohio,
J1urad mentions some Of the incidents which
eRlivened a cooa hunt at Phillipsburg, in that