The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-04-05
W.T. AND wupoM.
A burning shame-Arson.

The most appropriate word for sowing
machines-HemlOck.
Hens scratch hard during their lives, and
find themselves in a big stew afterward.
What. quadrupeds are admitted to balls,
operas, and dinner partiess White kids.
Remark caused by the high price of pro-
visions: "When shall we three meat again."
Why 10 an author the most peculiar of
animalsf Because his tale comes out of his
head.
Ambition often plays the wrestler's trick
of raising man up merely to- fling him
down.
The schOOlmaster's beat is less extensive
than the p0liceman's. 1t is confined to his
schoOlhouse.
When may two people be said to bo half
witted When they have an understanding
between them.
Why is person annoyed by q fool like
one who falls into the sea Because he il q
man over-bored.
Run not after blessings only walk In the
commandments, and blessings shall run af-
ter you, pursue, and overtake you.
Few are less happy than those who have
ambition without industry who would win
the prize, but will not run the race.
Heaven drops little fragments of itself
here and there along our way, by way Of
assurance that heaven and love are one.
az suspect that petroleum is explosive,
after all - said a speculator, :" at least, I've
known q good many capitalists to burst up
by it,"
country editor having written q long
article on "hogs," rival paper upbraids him
for introducing his family matters to the
public.
A Western paper says the best way to
kill bed-bugs is to chain their hind legs to
a tree, then go round in front and make
mouths at them.
Human life is one great Saturday, in
which the world should get ready for Sun
day, closing up accounts with time, and
putting in order for a holiday.
When man and IL woman are made one
by IL clergyman, the question is, which is
the one. Sometimes there is u long struggle
between them before this matter is finally
settled.
- There is no truth in the report that Rosa
BOnheur has been engaged to paint pic
turc iI>cOmmemOration of the dinner lately
given ut the Langham Hotel, under the title
of the "Horse Fare"
Are you not alarmed at the approach of
the King of Terrors<s' said minister to Il
sick man. ''Oh, no ~ have been living
six-and-thirty years with the queen of ter
rors the king can't he mucfSworse."
The following advertisement appeared in
IL Syracuse paper, recently: "Stable manure
wanted. Any person having from five to
fifty loads to dispose of, viii please send,
word or drop it through the post-ottice.'
Represent me in my Portrait said a
gentleman to IL painter, with Il book in
my hand, and reading aloud. Paint my ser
want, also, in IL corner where he cannot be
seen, but in such manner that he may
hear me when call him.
The following ainecdote is told of Daniel
OConnen: Meeting prolific pamphleteer,
whose productions generally found their
tn fh2A hppff u
very good in your pamphlet this
"Ah!" replied the eratified
writer, "what was it ~ "a pound of but
ter" was the reply.
DESIRES TO BE INEoRMED.-If the person
that ' carried " his point had no money to
pay the carman.
What weapon was used to-. conquer
pride ?"
If the person that was "thrown into an
excitement" was severely hurt.
If the person that 'arriyed at conclu-
sion" remained overnight.
If the person that I" broke the silence"
ever repaired it.
If the young lady that "bent her step"
ever Strengthened it.
If the person that was 3. lost in thought +"
found his way out. go
The width of the &" fathomless abyss.,
If the person that sold his life dearly
received more than u thousand dollars.
If the person that "read anOther's coun-
could recite it the next day.
The exact spot on earth where "night
ELL"
If the person that bit the dust 2" didn't
nave the tootache. -
The name of the tune that "was played
Ipon the feelings"
MODERN DICTIoNARY.-Water- clear
liquid once used as drink.
HOnesty-An excellent joke.
Tongue-A little horse that is continually
unning away.
My Dear-An expression used by man
nd wife at the commencement of quarrel.