The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1868-12-03

Why is nibbled cheese like concluded
treaties because it Aas heenla,-iticd>
Fashionable ladies are like aristoerat-
jc houses-they both have high stoops.
Why is a prudent man like pin"
RcAusc;his head prevents his going too
f~.s ~ e liza he
How to get at the real complexion of
some ladies-take little soap and
TIA yonngfady yawns half dozen
times in succession, young man, you
may get your hat.
Pleasant falls-falling in love with
lretty girl-falling heir to an hundred
thousand dollars. ~
The man who showed his grit W as In
the sand-paper line. The man who was
caught mapping is supposed to have been
Q halter.
\ a = Ideas,n says Vo!tairc, fare like
beads. Men only get them whepsthey
grow up, and women never have any"
What a wretch!
A tailor, who in skating, fell through
sflTe ice, declared that he would never
again leave his hot goose for cold
duck.
Secret marriages are SO common in
Ohio, that the young women can't get
beaux. Every man is afraid of counting
some other mans wife.
Feminine sentiment: Love is light
house in Efe's ocean TO show us where
danger is. Instead of avoiding, we sail
to il, and are lost.
a fellow made money at country
/ fair, by letting people raise him by the
cars at twenty-five cents premium for
salcress and ten cents fine for failure
A woman who inquired at Broad
way book store for Crabs synonyms
was told 10y the new clerk that they
didn't keep shell fish.
a precocious little girl while up for a
recitation in grammar class in one Of
J theapubiic schools of Buffalo was asked
BY the teacher the present tense of the
word bend" Without hesitation she
answered. g reeian bend, MAN,
A college fedgling called on a lady,
and being asked by the servant what
name she should give her mistress, re-
Piled '.Americre,r {,hs Latin for a
friend'1 The girl hcsitated for q mo
ment, and then asked, What kind Of q
cnss, sir" The young collegian then
gave his. name, and resolved to stick 10
- English thereafter
4 young gentleman and lady Of New
Albany, Ind, made novel bet on the
Presidential election. If Grant Wa:
elected the young man agreed to MARI.
the lady, and if Seymour was elected
the young lady was to marry the gen
tleman. The bet is good one for tn,
young lady. Heads I win, tails 20,
lose
In Scotland, recently, a woman wen
to register the birth of her child, an,
had to answer the usual questions. Il
[ the one-"Were you present at tn
birth?' the astonished woman answer
cd, lin the mther OF the BARN.
but that is not an answer to my ques
tion,n replied the registrar. Were so,
A. present AZ the BIRTH "Yes, OF course,
she said, Il was there
Bob Brown, did you say that m.
father had not as much sense as Bill,
Smiths little yellow dog NO.
never said any such thing. l. ncve
said that your father had Mt as @nucl
sense as Billy Smiths little yellow dog
All said was that Billy's !letle dog ha'
more sense than your father; that's al
lever said" We'll, it's we'll you dldn
say the other, l tell you" II
A GENTLEMAN HEN ~fADER.-
A good story is told OF Miss C,
laughter loving, good natured, countr.
lass, who was spending the afternoon
with neighbor, and during supper tn
conversation turned upon eggs. bens
etc, during which Miss C observe'
thattheir hens didn't lay, she couldn'
tell why. Why" said Mr.. F., I'm,
hens lny very well; l go out anon!
them almost every day, and get eggs
"My gracious ~ was the reioinder, 81
wish you'd come over to our house anc
run with our hens spell. Pm SURE
father would pay you we'll for your
trouble