The Van Buren press., 1868-02-21
Badset VI S,lssaiing,.
A Eulogy of Woman by Mark Twain.

AT the dinner given by the Correspond.
ents' Club at Washington. on Saturday
night, Mark Twain was called upon to IT,
sponi to the usual toast TO F" Woman.
which hs did in the following cha aetel istc
style 7 e
Mr. President--l do not know why |
should have been singled out 10 receive the
greatest distinction ci the evening-for 50
the office OF replying to the toast to woman
has been regarded in every age. Applause
do not Know why 1 nave uscsivei TN,
distinction, unless it be that ! am uiac
less homely than the Other members OF the
oiuU. but be this as it may, Nj. Presi-
dent, | snl proud OF The position, and you
could not have chosen any ore who woulu
have accepted it more gladly. or laboled
with liear,ier good will to do the subie,,
justice. than |. Because. sir, love the
sex. Laughter. l love all the women,
sr, irrespective vi age or color. Laughter
Huihan intelligence cannot estimate what
We owe to woman. SIR She sews on our
buttons, laughter she mends our clothes
laughter she ropes us in at the clnnch
fairs-she confdes in us she tell us what
ever she eau iLd out about the littlc private
affairs Of the peighbors she gives us good
aiyice--and plenty Of it che gives us a
piece Of her mind sometimeS-and some.
tunes all of ii she soolhes our aching
brows. In all the relations Of lie, sin,
it is but a just ana graceful tribute to wo.
man to say OF her that she is brick,
Great laughter
Wheresoever you place woman, sill. Ia
Whatever position or estate-she is an or
nanieDt to that place she occupies, and a
treasure to the world. Here llr Twain
paused, looked enqairingly at his hearers,
and remarked that The applause should
come in at this point. 1t came in. Mr.
Twain resumed his eulogy Look at the
nohly nam $ ofhiStory. Look at Cleopatra
Look alDesdemona! Look at Florence
Nightingalel look at j oan Of Are! Look
at Lucretia Borsial Disapprobation ex,
pressed. Well said Mr. Twain, scratch
ing his heal doubtfplly. "suppose we let
Lucre,ls siile. Look at Joyce Heath I.
Look at mother Eve Cries of "Oh ~
iou need not look at hur unless you want
to, but said Alr, Twain reileetiyely, after
panse) Eve was ornamental, sir, particu-
lally befme the fashions changed | re-
peat, sir look at the ilustrious names of
history. Look at the Window Machree
Look atLucy Stone! Look at Elizabeth
Cady Stanton! Look at George Francis
Train! Great laughter And sir, say
it with bowed head aad deepest veneration
look at the mother of Washington She
raised boy that could not ie-coull not
lie. Applause But he never had any
chance. 1t might have been different with
him if he had belonged to a newspaper
correspondents club. Laughter groans
hisses, and cries of " Put him OUT Mark
looked round placidy upon his excited au-
dience. and resumed. r.s,rs.
repeat, sir that III whatsoever position
you place a woman she lis an oinam snt to
society and treasure to the worll. As a.
sweetheart she has few equals and no supo-
ri5rs laughter as cousin she is conven-
ient--as a wealthy grandmother wiki an
incurable distemper, she is precious-as a
wet nurse she has no equal among men
Laughter
What. sir, would the people Of the earth
be without woman? They
would be scarce, sir--almighty scarce
Then let us cherish her let us protect her
let us give her our support, our encour-
agemen'' our sympathy hy--ourSelyes, ii we
gets chance Laughter. r,r l. ys
but, jesting aside, Mr.. President, woman |
Is lovable, gracious, kind of heart, bcauti-
ful- worthy of all respect, of all esteem, of
ah,deiercnce Not any here will refuse to
drunk her health right cordially in this
bumher of wine for each aud every one Of
us has personally known, aud loved, and
honosed. the very best one OF them all.-his
own mo,herl Applause. a-.
a. -.