Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-12-11
NASBY.
MIR. NAsBY SUGGESTS A HAVEN OF REST
FOR THE DISTRESSED SOULS WHO ARE IN
DANGER OF LOSING THEIR PLACES

MIR. NAsBY SUGGESTS HAVEN OF REST
FOR THE DISTRESSED SOULS WHO ARE IN
DANGER OF LOSING THEIR PLACES.
WASHINGTON, Nov. 1S, 1868.
WE had q meetin in Washington last
mite to consider things. There are many
things to consider jest now, and it wuz
deemed proper to consider EN-. 1t wuz
lodge Nv sorrow. Their wuz faint glimrins
Nv hope onto the countenances Nv few
Nv those present. but nothin Nv certinty
-nothin Nv ashoorance. Sekretary Ran
dali remarkt that SO far ez he wuz con-
cerned he he'd made up his mind. He
shood not take offs under the incomin
administrator. He mite yeeld in other
matters Qor he wus Nv yieldin nacher),
but on this he wuz infexible. McCulloch
and Browning were also determined, but
Seward had other idees. He chirped in
| that the Oldest man couldn't tell what six
| ty days wood bring forth.
"Wat shall we do?" askt Postmaster
from Ohio.
81 sejest for President Johnson" sed
Randall, that he apply for the Spanish
throne. He wood be acceptible to the
| Spanish people, for he hez all his life been
putin the Bourbon down."
Randall hez no longer any fear Nv the
President.
Gentlemen" remarkt I, "I hev an
idea, wich if acted onto will pull us out
Nv our sea Nv troubles"
"Speekr' exclaimed they all with one
breath, "speak"
my idea is Cuba. Cuba, the gem Nv
the Antilles-the britest jewel in the
crown Nv Spain. Let Sekretary Seward,
who hez talent for reel estate, buy it
now before the new Government hez its
internal revenoo system establish, and
while it is hard up for money. Let Cuba
be the politikle Botany Bay NV this
country. Let it be bought by Seward
and then let the President go to work to
wunst a f1llin off1sis for its government,
while he still hez the power Nv apiutment.
lie must not wait to hev 'em hold eleck-
shins, for we alluz succeed better in gettin
offisis by appointment than by eleckshuns.
Wat Heaven | see open before us! 1
hev been readin Cuba up, and find that
Island pays the Home Government
! $25, 100000 per annum. If the Spanish
Government kin git $25, 100000 out NV EN-,
we kin double it with our experience.
There's enuff for all Nv us. Give Randall
a place correspondent with that he now
holds make Ben Wood superintendent
Nv the Havana Lotteries make Frank p.
suthin else, wat it don't matter, ez he'll
take anything; make good phases for
Ross, Fullerton, Binkley, Mrs. Cobb, Val
landigham, Brite, Mrs. Perry, John Quin-
cy Adams, Jr., Frank Peerce, Ginral For
rest, Jim Steedman, Rosso, Doolittle,
Cowan, Dixon, Secretary Welles, and all
Nv that unnumbered throng Nv hungry
soles, who hev lived on pap so long that
any other diet sours on their stumicks.
| And then"
"But sposin Congress, when it meets
refooses to ratify the purchis by maxim an
| appropriashen ?" askt a doubter.
Refooze to make the appropriashun
Refooze! Ha! Put before Gineral Grant
the prospeck Nv never agin seein the Blair
family-put afore Congress and the Amer
| ikin people the hope NV never seein agin
the faces Nv any Nv the men. hev men,
shun'd with the thousands Nv others NV
similar tastes, habits, and necessities, and
wat wood twenty or thirty millions, more
or less, be to EN- Nothini Congress
wood vote it instantaneously, and the peo-
pie would all say 'Amenp Lord, how
/ quick the bill wood go through, and how
| quick Grant wood sign it.
| "But sposn Congress shood refooze, wat
then? jest en- well. The Blairs wood
hev their posishuns, and the Cuban
officials, eff they are verscd in American
politikle history, know, eff they know any,
thing, that when the Blairs get into place,
nothin but death loosens EN-. We shood
hist the banner Nv Independence-we
shood paint onto that banner the inscrip-
shen: 'OFFIsEs FOR ALL, IN CoUN-
TRY WHERE LIKKER is NOT TAxEDp
and in a weeks time an army Nv Dino
krats, big enuf to capcher Spain herself
wood be on them shoresl And who
would stand afore en-? Whisper 4 Post
Offs IN their ears, and they'd wade knee
deep in blood. Lord, how the Spanish
soljery wood go down afore EN-? How
| Frank Blair wood go for Lersundi! How
| all the trained cohorts nv Dimocrisy witch
| hev bin abstainin from offs 80 many years,
wood risk their all for taste NV the
sweets NV posishenl
| "Ohl the deliciousnis Of the prospeck
| Think Nv an island with enuf niggers onto
| it to do our labor, and enuff white Cubans
| who can't read to vote for us Why, it
wood recall recollections Nv them happy
days before the war when the Dimocrisy
wuz thus constitooted. / hunger and
| thirst for sich aT
6 Roll swiftly yround ye wheels of time
And bring the happy day.
"Then Ginral Grant Good hev peece
Then he wood only hev the Ablishnists
on his hands Then the niggers nv the
United States mite hev suffrage, for it
wood make no difference to us. We
wood hev oflsis to live onto, and pure
niggers to look down upon, and wat more
| Good we want? The only difference wood
| be, we wood hev to accustom our stumicks
| to Santa Cruz rum in place Nv whisky,
| but that we Good do The effect upon the
bowels is the same-it differs only IN taste,
] and I am told that when both are new
there amt much difference in that"
Tine segestion wuz fayorably received,
| and hey no doubt it will be acted upon.
| Eff it is-but why this off" 1t must be
done-~it shell be.
PETRoLEyA v, NAsBY, p. M.
tWich ~ PessyaBsteSs