Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-02-15


SMOKING THE MEAr.-The Lehigh Valley
Daily News relates good story of young
darkey in Allentown, who was sent to get
something to smoke the meat in his en-
ployer's smoke house. The darkey went out
and invested the money in cigars, and seated
himself in the smoke. house under the meat,
lighted cigar and puffed away. He had
disposed of sixteen cigars in this way before
the blunder was discovered by the family.
A couple of neighbors became so inmical
that they would not speak to each other;
but one, having been converted at a camp
meeting, on seeing his former enemy, held
out his hand, saying, "How dye do, Kemp7
| am humble enough to shake hands with u
dog"
One "Jeames Flaherty" was brought up
before magistrate for marrying six wives.
The magistrate asked him show he could be
so hardened a villain9" "Please your wor-
ship" says Jesmes, Il was trying to get
good one"
A young lady went out with rather
timid beau sleighing, one evening, COM
placently remarking to him that she seldom
went a.sieighing but she got chaps on her
lips. The younS man took the hint, and
chapped
"Well, neighbor, what is the Christian
news this morning 2" said gentleman to
his friend. ~ have Just sent a barrel OF
| flour TO a poor woman" "Just like you.
Who is it that you have made happy by your
charity this time ~ MY wife"
Patrick was in charge of ferry boat
A lady passenger being frightened by the
( waves, asked him ''if people were ever lost
by these boats2" He gave the encouraging
reply: mot often, ma'am; we generally
find them afterward by dragging the river
A dead negro was found recently in the
woods near Aberdeen, Miss, with a load
of buckshot in his body, and near by lay
the body of hog. On the negro the fol-
lowing inscription was pinned: The niggeE
killed the hog, and the hog killed the mig
ger. Selah ~
! "Did you see Dennis Mahony steal tho
| pig 2" swell not exactly, your honor, but
met him the day widow Flaherty lost her
grunter and sez !, "Hillo Dinpis," !" ''Hi!lo,"
sez he. "Ah, ha," sez !. "Oh, no." sez he.
"rhe devil" sez I. 1.-The devil" SEE he
And that's all know about the pig, yonr
honor.
Mrs. Jones, a farmers wife in Connecticut,
says, 81 bleve I've got the tendersst hearted
boys in the world. l can't tell one OF EN-
to fetch pail of water but what he'll burst
1 out cTyln'
A lady has invented and patented "Nur-
serv Washstand." 1t is suggested that
.patent spanker" should be attached to it.
When is the Moon like cows When
she has two horns aud is in a milky way.
What Miss does an old bachelor usually
cling tot MISTAKE
George Francis Train remarks, in letter
written at sea, "Shipboard is the place TO
read character; all there is in man pops
out when he is sea-sick."
A clergyman gave toast that was not
very gallant at late iremen's celebration
"Our fire engiaes-Msy they be like old
maids. ever ready, but never wanted /"
4 tender hearted railway engineer says he
never runs over man when he can help it
because it muses. up the track So"
A girl with "ringing laugh" caused oil
alarm of dEe In Peoria. They took her for
belle.
Why is young mans arm like the gospe!
Because 1t makes glad the waist places.
, Why is dancing Ike milk Because
! strengthens the calves.
. Young woman's oonundrum 10
:. our fsyorlts Roman hero MaIius