The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1868-02-13
Dead Broke
BIZ TIE EAT CONTRIBUTOR"


We found a man seated on curbstone nea
the postoflice last night, muttering to himsel
apparently, as there was no one else to NUT
Yer 10. We felt constrained TO ask him wha
he was doing there.
"Hain't dom nothin', !" was the reply
Il mere do you belong?'
blong to me-
Who are you ?"
I'm Broke"
Wei, suppose you are broke, you've got 9
name hahn you? What is it ~
/ ~ tell you I'm brOke-Dead Brollc-that's
my name, and that's my natur." Ny father
was broke before me. II he hadn't been,
| wouldn't be broke nOW-at least, not so bad
MY mother was Peasely, bnt she wanted g
husband and she got Broke--that's my dad
and broke got me. I've been broke ever since. y
For a few moments the unhappy D. Broke
buried his face in his hands, and seemed lost
IA the most doleful reflections. Then raising
ms mead, he exclaimed bitterly:
Il wish had been born a COLT
Why do yoa wish you had been born d
| colt r'
because colt ant broke until he 10 two
or three years old. / was Broke the moment
l saw the light, and [ never got over it, It is
hard to be broke so Young"
Dead Broke %
wei, We see, as soon as l was born some
| thing seemed to tell me that had to be broke
all my life unless | could get nv name chan
ged by act of Legislature, and that, you know
would be an impossiblity"
How an impossibility ?'
Are you such a bjockhead as to suppose
that man can get anything through the Leg
islature when he is Brokers
You are right. Go on"
When the conviction forced itself upon my
infant brain, confused il was by recent eX-
per1ence, that must be Broke all my life
felt that there was nothing left to live for,
ANA lOsL all consciousness ut once. (ive
found only part oft since"
NE Is dead" cried my mother, wringing
her hands.
eyes" cried my father, che is dead Broke. F."
= revived, alas but Dead Broke became
my name, and [ have been dead broke ever
since"
''My name has been fatal to me all through
life. The smallest boy in school always 6FOke
ne nplaylng marbles. / broke more windows
than any other boy playing at base ball.
aiw9YS broke down at recitations, and had my
head troke every day by the schoolmaster.
When left school I went to clerk for brok-
er One day there was a heavy deficit in the
accounts. / WAS afraid he thought I had
something to do with it--sO--l 6s'0ke. They
caught me, though, and put me in jail, but I
broke Out.n
'Out jail p
NO, m it, broke out 29itt the small pool"
''What did you do next %
after the court had disposed OF nay case
/ was allowed 80 90 into the brokerage bust
ness again"
"Iiow was that ?"
II broke stone IN the pehit-ntiary, dog on
it, After [ got out [ broke. everything l
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath, and
broke the pledge.
WAS you ever married 2"
Eyes, (sghing deeply matrimonv broke me
up worse than anything else. My wife was
serfeet ripper. She broke up my furniture
sno my dishes, nearly broke my back with q
dat-irOn, and finally She broke nv heart"
by running away ~
mo, indeed, by sticking to me-"
you have had hard time Of it,"
'All owing TO my name. But bad as I dis
like II, it's mine; came by it honestly. You
wouldn't think anybody else would want to
be in my place, would We? but there are
thousands oil impOsters all over the country
tryins To pass themselves of fer me-"
''Iu what w&yy'
when they tell their creditors that they
are Dead Broke"
There was another pause during which the
unhappy possessor OF an unfortunate name
could be heard TO sob. At length he broke |
out
1T viii be a fitting and simple inscription
for my tombstone. though
'What?n
DEAD BROKE"