The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1868-02-13


PEOPLE will advertise, knowing that
the money thus invested, yields a ten
fold profit. But the variety and style
OF some Of the Advertisements seen in
the papers, Will, very frequently, cause
q smile to wreath the face Of even the
most grave. Tho following arc seloc-
ted from a collection found in an ar
ticlo in tho AduertiSer'S Gd=ette:
"Wantej a stcaGyyoungman to look
after n horse of the Methodist persua-
sion"
"To LET.-A cottage in Newport
containing eight rooms and an acre OF
ground"
"FoR SALE, "A piano by q lady about
to cross the Channel in On oak case
with carved legs
"LosT "A small lady's watch with
n white face, also, two ivory young
ladies' work.boxos. A mahogany gcn-
tlcman's drcssIng.case, and q small
pony belonging to a young lady with
u silver name and tail"
"LosT or strado from the scribor q
sheep all over white-ono leg was
black and half his body-all per-
sons shall receive five dollars TO bring
him. he was Il she goat
An advertisement of cheap shoes in n
county paper has the following nota
bena
IN. Blades wishing those cheap
shoes, will do well to call soon, Us they
won't last long"
A sign on an Acadamy out West
reads Freeman & IIuggs: Freeman
teaches the boys and Hugs the
girls
Tho advertisement Of n doctor who
undertakes the curo of madness begins
thus:
Worthy the attention of tho insane"
\ western paper az ;ertises thus:
"RUN AwAY.-A hired mar named
John; his nose turned up five feet eight
inches high, and had Oh n pair Of cor
duroy pants much Worn"
How that nose must have looked
dressed mp in corduroy pants
The following extract from a medical
advertisement, is perhaps correct:
"Consumptives, cough while you
can, for after J on have taken one bot
tic OF my mixturc'you can't"
Another class of advertisements cvin-
eng peculiar characteristics, arc to be
found nndcr the head Of personals in
city dOylies. Take for instance the fol,
loving, where the man evidently signs
his right name
"FUN AND MRTH.-If the ladies on
Madison Square, next to park, going
down, about h~nIl-past one j. NJ, on
Tuesday who recognized thegcntleman
in omnibus. going up, would oblige by
further acquaintance, will please ad.
dress a. Donkey, Metz opolitan
Hotel
In q Chicago morning daily quite
recently, a young lady advertised
"PERsoNAL.-Wantcd, Il hand to hold
+ mine own as down llfe's vale l glide
wanted an arm to lean upon. forever
by my side. Address Miss Emma NJ
uandlin, Chicago Z. o.
In the next Issue appeared thi'
"PERsoNAL.-I have n hand fol-
Emma Ii. It's haEging by my side, buI
willingly with her will hitch and dowr
hfe's vale will glido. Address TippoC
Saib, Chicago p. o.
One more, without comment, shall
close the list Of personals
DEAREST LUBLINE-Shall We nover
meet again ? Oh, dearest. tell me. Al
will be forgiven and forgotten. | hay,
sent you II bottle Of the far famed Bun
ion Extractor, Let it Propitiate thee
, Thine ever. GUsTAvE."
The poetic IN advertising is of i'm,
p~ortanco, and by no means to be neg
lected. How cnticing, for instance, i
tho following
"should sorrow o'cr thy brow its dafkcned
) shadow fling,
Go buy a hat Of Jigglcs-youll find it just
the thing"
Tho next is from q New Orlean
, paper
"wHAT 10 A REDUs 2"
] asked of Miss Mary,
. As close by my side the fair maiden was seated
l saw her eyes sink and her couutonance vary
AS she said in reply-"Tisa kiss, sir, repeated.
, Miss Mary is a sensible girl; just tn,
9 kind that will make a fellow a gooC