Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-12-19
TERMS SE ADyERTIssNs.


4
Afraid Of tl,,, rscr,.
Pete Milestone, Of Arkonsos u,, ,,o,
u"Nc"iS on h"isc'nck through the interior
of the state, and called ono ryrning ~ stou
all night at a little log house near ihc road
where entertainments and postofiice were
kept. Two other strangers were there. and
the mail rider rode up about dark Supper
beng over, the mail carrier and the three
gentlemen were invited in n small room
furnished with Il good fire and two beds,
which were to accommodate the four persons
for the night. The mail carrier was little.
shabby, dirty.iooking wretch, with whom
none ot the gentlemen liked the idea Of
sleeping. Pete Milestone eyed him closely,
! as he asked
Where ar" you going to sleep tonight,
my lad i'
"lll thlecp with you reckon, g hsped The
youth. cor one Of them other lclrrs | don't
care which"
The other two gentlemen took the hint
and occupied one of the beds togcthcr i'm.
mediatoly. leaving the other bed and confaS
TO be enjoyed by Pete and the mail boy to-
geuIer rs best they could Pete and the boy
commenced hauling oil their duds and Pete
getting into bed first, and wishing to Get rid
Of sleeping with the boy. remarked very
earnestly:
"My tricnd, III tell you beforehand, I've
got the itch, oud you'd better not get in here
with me, TO! the disease is catching"
The boy was just getting into bed, too.
and drawled out very cooly ..
"Wol, reckon that don't make a hit O.
dilIcrcucr--Tyc had it now nearly these
scTcn years, and into bed he pitched along
with Pete, who pitched out in as great hurry
as il he had walked up hornets nest in tho
bed.
The other gentlemen roarcd, ANA The mail
boy, who had got pcaccahlc possession of
the bed 10 himself dravled out
why, You muth he SGT a. damcd fools
nam and dads got the each heap worth
than l., and they thIep in that bed lath
night when they warh here quiitir'."
]hc other two strangers were now IN
worse predicamcnt than Pete had been. and
hoanClng from their nest like the house had
, been on fire, stripped, shook their clothing.
, put thcm on again, ordered their horses. and
though it was nearly ten o'clock. thrv all
three left and rode several miles to the next
town before they slept. leaving the impcr-
turbahc mail carrier to the bliss OF scratch.
ing and sleeping alone.
- -;.o------
GREAT SINNrR.---An old negro named
Pete was very much troubled about his sins
Percciving linn one day with very down
, cast look, his master asked him the cause
But, Pete" said his master, "yor are foolish
To take it so much TO heart. You never see
me troubled about my sins" ~ know dc
reason, massa,' said Pete, ''when you 90 ont
duck shooting and Kill one duck and wound
another, don't you run after de wounded
duck?" "lcs, Pete" And the master
wondered what was coming next. well
massc, dat is de way wild you and me; de
dcbbIl has got you sure but as he am not
sure oh me, he CLascs dis chile ali dc time"
A youngster was playing in the room
where his mother and a lady visitor were
convcrsing. Another friend called in the
meantime, and after she left the two after
the manner of the sex commenced to dis
cuss her peculiarites very freely. Willie was
apparently busy with his toys, but, after a
little while, looked up shrewdly and said to
the visitor: "Alrs. Butler, that's the way
mamma will talk about you when you 60
away" The youthful philosopher was
about right.
"My spp,n said the elder Sprigglcs to his
Junior, thinkihe TO cnlighten the boy on the
propagation Of the hen species, ddo YOU
know that chickens come ont of eggs ?"
DO they 2" said Sprigges, jr., as he licked
his plate, Il thought eggs came out of chick,
ems"
A little orphan boy, who was nearly
J starved by the stingy uncle CHS guardian
with whom hC lived meeting lank grey.
hound one day in the street was asked by
his guardian what made the dog 50 thin
After reflection, the little fellow replied, 81
suppose he lives with his uncle"
AN industrious and penurious mechanic
i'll Chicago lost his wiIe by death The hus-
band only stopped his work to attend the
funeral, and Immediately aiterward returned
to his labors
"lIow is this y asked one of his ncighbors
Cant you stop to mourn n little ~
) mo, sir" was the reply business before
pleasure"
T And the old fellow turned to his bench
Az invalid disturbed all the inmates Of his
boarding house up town recently, by imi-
tating dog. When asked why he did it he
said hc had been ordered by his physician
TO take port wine and bark.
, Why is a married man like n candle Be
cause he sometimes goes ont at nigh: When
he ought not to.
. Solomon advises the sluggard to 60 to the
ant; but the shiitless in our day generally
/, go to their uncle
| "We know girl, says some one, $50 in
t dustrous that when she has nothing else to
Q do she sits and hnits her brow.
. When you pass door after nine O'Clock
at night, and see a yogug man and woman,
and hear Il smack, you may bet your bottom
dollar that the young man don't live there.
1t was an old bachelor who said, 'lf you
:. meet young lady who is not very shy, you
: had better be little shy yourself.
n Why is the bridegroom worth more than
the bride Because she is'gvcn away, and
p hei sold. What shocking bad conundrum
that is.
A country youth says a lady with Gre
clan bend looks like a crooked neck squash
= struck by lightning.
: WHY is fashionable young ladys brains
. like speckled trout Because they arc
= found under a waterfall.
Z When may young ladies' be said to be
n cconomicalP When they resort to tight
= A.. q f,,l,,