The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-05-06
The josh BiIiIngs Papers.
TIE c0CKRoACH.
The oockrOach IL bug at large.
-, a.. l.. -. -. L. =,

II e IL one ov the lnxurys ov civilization.
He iz eszy TO domesrikate, yielding gracefully
20 ordinary kindness. and never deserving th0ze
who show him proper aekts ov courtesy
We are led TO beleaye, upon a cluss examina-
ton ov the outward crust ov thOze fashionable in
seckts that they are highly successful intermar-
rage between the brunette pissmire and the
" GrtikiluS beco," or common Amerikan grass
hopper.
Naturalists, however, differ, which iztobe la
mented, for q diversity Oy senimeuY 4pon mat
ters so important to the peace ov mil Aad moral
advancement oy mankind in the lums ST'reates dis
trust and tends TO sap the subsrata ov all bug
ethicks. .-
Bot let the learned and polite pull hair az much
az they pleaze about the ansestral claims ov the
cockroach, il liz our Dizziness and duty, as bug
scfulnizer, to show the critter up as we find him.
without caring single solitary curse who hiz
grandfather OF grandmother acktually waz.
There is no mistaking the fackt that he liz one
CIV a numerous family, and that hz attachment
tew the home ov biz boyhOod, speaks louder than
thunder for hiz atfeckuoDate and unadulterated
nature.
He don't leave the place he waz born at upon
the slightest provocation, Ike the giddy and va
grant flea, or the ferocious bed-bngg, and until
death Tor sum vile powder, the invenshun ov
man) knocks at hiz front door he and hiz brothers
and sisters may be seen with the naked eye ever
and anon calmly climbing the white sugar bowl
or running foot races between the butter plates.
How strange it IL that man, made out Of dirt.
the cheapest material in the Market and the most
plenty. should be so determined to rid the world
| ov evTy living bug but himself!
| don't doubt it. If he could hev his own way
| for Fix year, evry personal cockrosch would be
| knocked off from the BOSOM ov the footstool,
and not even pair ov them left to repair dam
| ages with. lll ts.lI
| Such liz man
| The cockroach is born on the fust ov May and
/ the fust ov November semiannually, and is ready
| for use in fifteen days from date. s.1-.7
| They are born from an egg, four from each egg,
| end consequently they are all ov them twins.
1 ia nO n n n q a
| single cockroach. - f-. ~. ...
The maternal bug don't soft upon the egg as
the goose doth, but leaves them lie around loose,
| Ike pint of split mustard seed, and don't seem
to care a darn whether they get ripe or not. e.
| But never knew q cocsroach egg fail tew put
| in an appearance. They are as sure tew hatch
| out and run az Ksnsda thistles or bad kold.
| The cockroach is ov tew colors sorrel and
| black. They are always on the move, aud can
trot, ] should say, on a good track, and good
day, cluss tew three minHitts. ~
Their food seems tew consist, not so mutch In
what they eat as what they travel. and often
finding them dead m my soup at the boarding
house. | have cum to the conclusion that cock
rosch kant swim, but they kan float.
| Naturalists have also declared that the cock
roach has no double teeth. This is an important
fackt and ought tew be introduced into all the
| primary schoolbo0ks oy Amerika.
| But the most interesting feature ov this remark
able bugg is the loveliness ov their natures They
| kant bite, nor sting, nor scratch, nor even Jaw
| back. They are so amable that hav even known
them tew get stuck in the butter, and lay there
all day, and not holler for help, and actually die
| at last of broken heart.
| To realize the meekness ov these uncomplain-
| ing little cusses, let the philosopher mind Just
| for one moment compare them to the pesky nea,
| who lights upon man In hlz strength and woman
| in her weakness like red hot shot, or he war.
bling musketo, wild from a Nujersey cat-tail
| marsh, wiz hiz dagger 10 hz mouth ackeing fof
| blood; or, horror of horrors TO the midnight
bed bugg, who creeps out Ov crack az still and
eZ lean IL a shadow. and hitchez on to the bosom
| Ov buty like a starved leech.
Every man hsz right TO pick his playmstes
bat sz for me- had rather visit knee-deep among
cOclrOaohes than 10 hear the dying embers oy Q
single muskeeter's song in the room ineing, or 70
know that thare waZ just one bed-bugg LETT 10 tbs
world and he waiting for my kande 10 u
ont and for me TO pitch into bed.
In conclusion, to show that | aint fOoling,
would be willing, IL | had them. to swap ten fust
| class feas emmy time for a smallsized cOckrosch
| and if the fellow complained that had shave,
| him in the trade would return the cockroacl
| and swear that we wsz even.