Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1868-03-28
Josh BiIlingSis,n,

t Josh Billingsism. y
It stranes mans philosopher the
wust kind tew laff when he gifts beat. a.
ry Awl ov us komplain or the shortness
Ov life, yet we awl waste more time than
we uze. -1ia1 %. Ti4-} s.J 70 -at at
Dent mistak. arrogahse for wisdEin,
menny people hev thevght tha wuz wize 8
when tha WINS onla windy. -fl
After a man has rode fast onst, he ney-
er wanst to go slow again. s 10 -.s.7 81
,. Faith that is founded on an arnest and
Ia tElthful eonYiekshun, is beautiful te
behold !; but faith that is founded simpla
on courage amt enngthing more than
good grit. l 7.. ss-ss ass5es, -e3 +,
Evra sorrow has its twin joy +; the fun
ov scratchin almost pays tor having the
each. ,...-,s ..-...-, ,,s,.7- -.--.... ---.. -.
Those fanilys who are really fust class
never al. afraid that tina shall git cheated
out NV Their, respecktability, while the
Goldfish familys ar always nervous lest
tha mite. ...... ,.- ...--.-..
ri 1t went do to stir.up. a man when he !
is thinking, emmy more than it viii pan
ov milk when the cream is rising. 80
In order to make up the. cabinet now
it is said to be necessary to add Interim.
Having failed to do much in New
Hampshire the democrats propose to
Doolittle in Connecticut.
A Paris actress fell rear the foot
lights, but escaped injury from the fact
that she had nothing on which could
take fire. 80 -
+, A cynical chap insists that the fewer
relations or friends we have the happier
we are. In your poverty they never help
you; in your prosperity they always
help themselves. F. -,-.f
An Evangelical preacher in 'Worces-
ter, England, said recently that he did
not know whether he had ever been bap-
tised or not, and he was sure he did not
care.
From six to seven feet of snow is the
average at Plymouth, Mass. If the
Pilgrim Fathers had landed in weather
ike this they would not have found
rock to stand on. .... ...s.. s,4.s.
: ''Po9r little fellow, aren't you cold % g
said a pretty Young lady to newsboyof
whom she had just made purchase. ~
eyes, ma'am, before you smiled" was
the gallant response.-Er Hard story.
The chap deservedly won his bet, who,
in company, when every one was brag-
ging of his tall relations, wagered that
he himself had brother twelve feet high.
He had, he said, 'two half brothers, each
measuring six feet.n
Montgomery City (Mo) had severe
rain and hail storm on the lst inst. This
is the first rain that has fallen on that
place since the 4th Of July, 1867.
Theodore Tilton thinks clergymen
should have to write their sermons on
stamped paper. Theodore favors extern
poraneous preaching, and he consequent
iv resorts to this Unfair way of forward %
ing his views.
Abbott, so notorious for magnifying
the virtues and drowning the vices of the
personages whom he biographies, is en-
gagged on 'G.ife Of Christ. As it is i'm
possible fer him to resort to his usual
style something peculiar may be looked
for. ...-.-....... ...-..r
At Montgomery, Alabama, during the
late election, handsome mulatto came
rp to the polls to vote. "My name is
Henry Clay" "An right, Henry, you
can vote, you are registered. But Hen
~, where were you born Z" sln Ken. ri
tucky, sir; Henry Clay ofAshland, was
ny father" And So he cast his vote.
There was man in Washington, and
he was wondrous wise; ne pitched into
smv policy" and scratched cut all his rs;
and when he saw bis Ps were out, with
all his might and main, he pitched INTO
he War Office, and scratched out what
title there was left of himself. Ihls s
sn't poetry but it is true.-Detrost Post
rrrJ1vs 1eopIe of Gaseony, France, it is :
,povn.y have a worldwide rePution Tor g.
whence comes the gascon-
,de A Gaseon was once rauntlng ms
,vesiobt to a citizen of Paris in the Rue
\ otre Dame. "Zounds,n said ne, ''from
his very place I see mouse running
y the top of the tower. 81 do net see Is
/ vet.' said he quietly, bat can hear 1T s
rot" srt rs-a
The most stupendous political joke of the1s
eason is the claim of the Copperhead orr
,anizatfon of New Hampshire, led by
Frank Pierce, and listening with apnro- =
PATTON to such speakers as Daniel voor7
ices, Chauncy c. Burr and II. Clay Dean,
hat il ia tie "Conservative" party otthe
State IF the views of these men had
,riumphed during the war, the Union
banner would have trailed in the dust
before the triumphant "stars and bars.
md vet thev have the effrontery to style
themselves Conservatives. All they tried
% conserve was the Confederate cause