The democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1868-1874, 1868-12-01
Home Reading.

I luS HE SeANu N'''N AZ h"27 INV "S' :
dollars. "Well Johnny, can you swea
that you are not worth twenty dollars
and that you never will be-"
"Why," answered the other, rather
chagrined at the question, II can swear
that am not worth that at present"
"Well, well" returned the justice, q
can swear to the rest, so go along Johnny
and the man was sworn and discharged.
Some days since warrant was issued
from one of our courts for the arrest of .
truant husband. The alleged offence con
sisted in abusing his wife and deserting
his family. The culprit being nrraigne1,
the hapless better half was put on tile
witness stand. ,s.
This man is your husband, is he q
enquircd the judge.
"Oh yes, your honor" was the confl
dent reply.
"When we're you married?" G ~
Sir" -
"When did you marry him. Y {
"About q year ago"
"What minister performed the cers-
mony!" h '
Sir"
"Were you married at church" thrn-
dered the Judge.
"No--sir-wc-jds stjumped the broom :
stick
The man wasn't fined. I
A MopEL LOVE- LErrER.-''MY DEAR
JERusliA Every time | think Of You
my heart fops up aud down like churn
dashcr. Sensations of unutterablc JOY
caper over it Ike young goats over stable
roof and thrill through it like Spanish
needles through pair Of linen trowsers.
As gosliug swimmeth with delight in a
mud puddle, so swim | in sea OF glory.
Visions OF extactis rapture, thicker than
the hair of backing brush and brighter
than the hucs on humming birds pin
ions, visit me inmy slumbers aod born
on their invisible.wings, your image stands
before me, aud I reach out to grasp it,
like an old pointer Swapping at blue
bottle fly. When 1 first beheld your
angelic perfections l was bewildered and
my brain whirlcd around like humble
bee in a glass tumbler. My eyes stood
open like cellar doors in country towns,
and | lifted up my ears to catch the silvery
accents of your voice. Nv tongue refused
to wag, and in silent admiration l drank
in the sweet infection of love, as thirsty
man swalloweth tumbler of hot whiskey
punch. Since the ligh. of your face fell
upon my life, | sometimes felt as if | could
lift myself by my boot-straps to the top Of
a church steople. Day and night you are
my thought. When Aurora, blushing
like bride, rises from her saffron couch ;
when the jay bird pipes its tuncful lay in
the apple tree by the spring house ;when
the chan,iclcer's shrill clarion heraids the
coming morn ; when the awakened pig
ariseth from his bed and gruntcth aud
goeth forth for his morning refreshments
when the drowsy beetle wheels his droning
fight atsuliry noon-tide, and when the
lowing cows come home at milking time,
think of thee; and like piece Of gum
elastic, my heart seems to,stretch clean
across my bosom. Your hair is like the
name Of. a sorrel horse powdered with gold,
and the brass pin skewercd through your
waterfall filed me with unbounded awe.
Your forehead is smoother than thc
elbow of an old coat, and whittier than
seventeen hundred linen. Your eyes are
glorious to behold. In their liquid depth
| see legions Of little Cupiis battling and
lighting like cohorts Of ants in an old
army cracker. When their fire bit NE
full on my manly breast, it permcated my
entire anatomy. like as a load of bird
shot would go through arotten apple
Your nose is from chunk of parian mar
bic, and your mouth puckered with sweet
ness Nectar fingers on your lips ike
honey on bears paws, and myriads of
unaedgod kisses are there ready to fy out
aud light somewhere like Young blue birds
out of the parent nest. Your, laugh rings
on my ears like the wind-harp's strain, or
the blcat Of stray lamb on the bleak
hillside. The dimples on your cheeks are
like bowers in beds ofroses, or like hol-
lows in cakes of homemade sugar.
am dying to fly to your presence and
pour out the burning ,eloquence Of my love,
as thrifty housewives pour out tie hot
coffee. Away from you | am melancholy
as sick rat. Sometimes / can hear the
June bugs of despOddency buzzing in my
ears. and feel the cold Lizards of despair
crawling down my back. Uncouth fears,
like thousand minnows, nibb.ing at my
spirits, and my soul is pierced through
with doubts as an old cheese is bored BY
shippers.
My love for you IS stronger than the
smell of old butter, swietzer cheese, or the
kick of mule: it is purer than the breath
of yonng crow, and more unsel6sh than
Kittens tirst catterwaul. As the sohg
bird hungers for the light of day. the eau
tious mouse for the fresh bacon in tbc
tray, as a lean pup bankers after zew
milk, so l long for thee
You are faircr than a spcckIed pullet /:
sweeter than Yankee doughnut fried in
sorghum molpsseS; brighter than the top
not plumago on the head Of muscoyy
duck iou are candy kisses, pound cake,
- 80 L IL