The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-01

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dItif att& Duutnr.
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- "Men who have risen." Fro
nauts.s hoe 90 al~aul - rss .t
"A man. to speak his mind, must
have one TO speak. .r T.. f.,-t
- a. drunken. hackman's motto
"Hick- Hack hock. VS. fsf4 ~ iVh
a gin IAN tho bakers on strike be
called loafers ..,l & LA = p. " 80. ~,
is---s The storm king is hard to bear,
when he is a-bruin, 5,f,t,, -'n.o's
s,- Men, like bullets, 60 furthest
when they are smoothest. ,-in bpofse
11--A skilful pickpockct always
takes things easy sia i.9a T. enrea7
"-- The gentleman whose lips pres
sed lady's ''snowy brow" did not
catch cold, 81 81 ~ 7as. .i y,r4
- 1t may be fair question wheth-
era sr & man g. can pc said to Be welded a TO
80. - why is thief in a garnet like !
honest man? He is above doing a
wrong action. h" 90 'asase q. ~ .
Many men aud women have had
occasion to know that two do not ne
e,ssarily make pair. frai hi sais3X
Women should remember that
men would often ring their tender fin
gers only to wiring their tender necks,
Why is loafer In printing Of
fee like shady tree Because we are
glad when he leaves. ta''r {.
SUSPENSION bridges are better
than suspension banks. There is
good deal of .sw,rc-- work" about both.
WHY are Odd Fellows like sau-
sages Because they are linked togeth-
or. p 'l-i- .l,i 'l.ll 80 .tfL 80, ~
~ What should be the fate Of the
cook who would serve UP q cat in what
should be veal pie p Purr-dish on
fperditiOn.l 5s.'.i ti5.r 49, a.-i.if ia
- Hood, in describing the meeting
of n man and hon, said, .'the m an
ran off with all his might and the lion
with all his name. We'll fnReais s1eA
Bachelor atbreakfast-Dear me
Susatl that's a very small egg !--Susan
Yes sir 1t is-but 1t was only laid
this morning, sir! d5,sf .s9n.N ..i;tl .6.l
e. ~ One preacher in Newbnrg said
to another 81 came near selling my
boots to-day; .sAh how was that 7"
aO,I had them half soled." 'giit ;siisee
"A G onnecticut infant was 50 for,
tunate as to be born with three noses.
Would do for a Congressional Com
mittee. 80 3 yqanret
a child Of five years having seen
her father for the first time, he having
having been absent in California, was
much astonishcd that Ire should claim
any authority over her, and on one oe1
casiou Of, rebellion, as he administered
NUNS hment, she cried out, 81 wish you
had never married into our family.'lg
A New Orleans jury declared
man to have come to his death by an
s,nnknown cart About on a par with
this is the Philadelphia verdict respec-
tino n. man who had been crushed to
death by a mill, when the jury re-l
marked, mo blame can be attached
to the machinery" .m .ssfr .,o'-itsa
y A Boston apothecary g assistant
recently pu. up prescription, and
found that his customer mad passed
counterfeit twenty-five cent piece on
Kim and y five cent bit. lie told MS
employer. "Never MIND, sMd the
philosophic Yankee, ''if the iive cent
bit IS good there's a clean, proht OF .
cnts." H Qsaa.st 'o g..ss
li--- A Kentucky editor advertises
as. follows "Wanted, at this Office, a
bull dog, of any color, except punkin
and milk, of respectable size, snub nose,
cropped ears, abbreviated continuation
who can come when called with a beef
steak. aud win take his pound of flesh
from the man who sqlfirts tobacco juice
an the stove and steals the exchanges. y
? - Twas Sunday night. The moon
shone bright, and all was cool and sha-
DIV. when gay young gent, down nam
street went q walking with lady,
Thev talked of love; he called her dove
he told of Ills affection. She heaved a
SIGH and turned her eye in an opposite
direction. But why that start that
chills the heart as il with ice fncrusted!
All do not blame sweet Sarah Jane, to
hair pins she has trusted, but hear her
shrek or rather speak, my waterialt
has busted !" ,.f.... -..,s -
---- A justice of the peace who mad
Int recently assumed the dignity OF
that important office in one OF the mush-
room towns on the Union Pacific rail-
road was called on among his first du-
ties to pass upon the guilt or Innocence
of a man arrested for murder. The
following colloquy Constituted the ex-
Justice ontom,d YOU, SIR, did you
kill that man2 ~. .sta..ts- iar u rei
Prisoner. sir. tntH ~
Justice. Was any one present at tue
time? n. f1 -t r.
Drisoner-No, sir. i ~ -I-a
.Justice. as it will be impos-
sibIe for the Cour: to prove your guilt
you are discharged
There is no end to the sayings OF
] ohm Randolph of Roanoke.
Randolph was in tavern lying on
sofa i'm the parlor waiting for the stage
TO come to the door. A dandified chap
stepoed into the room with 4 whip in
his hand, Just come from drive, and
standing before the mirror, arranged
his hair and collar quite unconscious of
the presence of the gentleman on the
sofa. after attudinizing awhile, he
turned to go out, when Mr. Randolph
asked him. a.,
'sHas the stage come ~
uStape. sir stage !" said fhe fop.-
awe nothing to do with it SIR"
uOh II beg your pardon, said Ran
dolph quietly, 81 thought you 'oere the
driver.
The Salt Lake Vidette says;
wayfarer dropped into the Occi-
dental Hotel in this place the other
dav. TO get square meal. Having
planted himself in a chair at the head
Of the table he was confronted by the
waiter with l IA
"What'll you have ~
The hungry one fastened his eyes on
the attach la soup, and said.
uWhat you got that's good ?"
uOh, we've got roast beef, corn beef,
roast mutton, fried ham, and boiled