The New York herald., 1868-03-12
KNEE DEEP N THE MuC-BaoADwN GYMNASTICS.

The breaking up Of the winter accumulation Of
snow and ice, which prevailed through the month Of
February, has left Broadway in q condition OF mud
diness, downright and emphatic, which 1t has not
enjoyed for several before. II Is mud, mud
everywhere-on sidewalk and in gutter, at every
crossing and at every point where there Is no cross
ing. "Knee deep in the mud" is the motto, and no.
body makes any effort to avoid carrying the proverb
OF the day. The police gay and festive Lotharios
have enjoyable position In relation to the matter
masking gallanry under the guise Of necessity and
assisting lady pedestrians the street by taking
them up forcbly, like babies, and carrying them
across free OF expense. Remarkably courteous and
accommodating fellows are these M. P.'s-especially
TO ladies-though not one OF them has ever been
known to extend the aforesaid courtesy even to the
most dminutye gentleman. 1t Is q curious fact
which may be here mentoned-that exactly at those
crossings which have the nature OF thoroughfares the
mud and slush Ia deepest and least effort is made TO
secure passabeness. The Beecker street crossings
are simply execrable; and here the police play the
part OF ferryboats unto ladies, young and old,
painted and unpainted They are privileged. NO
driver dares to run them down. They wear jack
boots to the Knee which no mud can penetrate or
especially soil, the preservation OF the Immaculate
shine being no object to theu especially when there
is lady In waiting at the other side. Enviable
gentlemen they are with an enviable destiny
especially In bad weather Canal street forms
Here destiny seems 10 have stationed special
squad OF TALL stawart gentlemen, capable OF carrying
double weight, since from either corner ut the Canal
other corner Pedestrians gather In squads on every
corner. stages rumble and roar and accumulate;
and generally sort OF Bedlamish aspect rules the
day, and, for that matter, the night too.
The corner or Broadway and Fulton street makes
the third and most unpromising OF all these points.
With mud as deep as at Canal street. which means rs
deep as Inferno; with greater accumulation of We
hicles and carts: with huge structure ike the
Broadway bridge in the way OF everybody and pa
tronized by nobody this point Is the most execrable
OF all points to be mentioned. Gymnastics are the
particular order, and one effects crossing a. lmln
nent danger OF his neck. Caesar passing the Rubicon
Is no comparison There Is the mud underfoot the
confusion OF crossers just ahead OF you scudding
under the bare poles Of stage, and there is tue
ponderous pole OF tile vehicle Just ready to knock you
on the head and seeming to aim directly at that
point o. your lhysiog. Anon policeman seizes
couple OF ladies, and, one under each arm, rushes
frantically across, over you II You are IN the way
past you II you get out OF the way. Deliberaton Is
not possible You dash-makc gallant dash
through clusters Of vehicles, under the noses Of
horses, ducking your head to avoid the pole, ana
finally effect a crossing, the most mud despatched
and forlorn individual who ever forded muddy
thoroughfare, with dozen batteries firing nothing
but mud trained directly upon your valuable person.
"Shine em up,v shouts tho bootblack, and you
retire with consciousness that your entire person
stands In need OF the impudent little Villains distin-
gushed services You have crossed the Rubicon,
ani within you carry the Consciousness Of second
Caesar.