Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-05-28
The Boy Who Bore a Charmed
Life.
BY MARK TWAIN.

Once there was little boy whose
name was though, if you will notice,
you will find that bad little boys are
nearly always called James in the Sum
day-school books. Tt is very strange,
but very true, that this one was called
Jim. ustsesv +--r.u.r.g a-r
He didn't have, any sick mother,
either-a sick mother who was pious and
had consumption, and who would be
glad to lie down in the grave and be at
rest, but for the strong love she bore her
boy, and the anxiety she felt that the
world would be cold and harsh to him
when she was gone. Most bad boys in
the Sunday school books are named
James, and have sick mothers who teach
them to say "Now lay me down to
to Sleep" ETC., and then sing them to
sleep, with plaintive voices, and then kiss
them goodnight and kneel by the bed
side and weep. ~ ,.5
But it was different with this fellow.
He was named Jim, and there wasn't
anything the matter with his mother
no consumption or anything of the kind.
She was rather stout than otherwise,
and she was not pious moreover, she
was not anxious on Jim's account; she
said if he were to break his neck, it
would not be much loss; she always
spanked him to sleep and never kissed
him good night; and kneel down by his
bed side and weep.
Once, this bad little boy stole the key
of the pantry, and slipped i'll there and
helped himself to some jam, and filed
the vessel up with tar, so that his moth
er would not never know the difference;
but all at once terrible feeling didn't
come over him, and something didn't
seem to whisper to him; ais it right to
disobey my mother? Isn't it sinful to do
this Where do bad little boys go to
who gobble up their kind mothers jam?"
and then he didn't kneel down all alone,
and promise never to be wicked again,
and rise up with a light, happy heart
and go and tell his mother all about it
and beg her forgiveness, and be blessed
with pride and thankfulness in her eyes.
No that is the way with all other bad
boys inthe books, but it happened other
wise with Jim, strangely enough. He
ate the jam, and said it was bully, in his
sinful way, and then put in the tar,
and said it was bully, toe, and laughed
and observed that s'the old woman would
get up and snort" when she found it out;
and when she did find it out he denied it,
and she whipped him severely, and he
did the crying himself.
Everything about this boy was Curl
ous--everything turned out, differently
.rx:kI, LIZ, f.ov,,- +1 1coe L. LII
Jameses in the books.
Once he climed up in Farmer Acorn's
apple tree to steal apples. and the limb
didn't break ,and he didn't fall and break
his arm, and get torn by the farmers
great dog, and then languish on sick
bed for weeks and repent and become
good. Oh, no-he stole as many ap-
Piles as he wanted, and came down all
right, and was ready for the dog, and
knocked him endways with rock when
he came to tear him.
It was very strange; nothing like it
ever happened in those mild, little books,
with marble backs and with pictures in
them of men in swallow-tailed coats and
bell crowned hats, and pantaloons that
are short in the legs, and women with
the waists of their dresses under their
arms and no hoops on. Nothing like it
in any Sunday school book.
Once he stole the teachers penknife,
and when he. was afraid it would, be
found out and he would get whipped for
it, he slipped it into George Wilson's
cap-poor Widow Wilson's son, the
moral boy, the good little boy of the vii
lage, the boy who always obeyed his
mother, and never told an. untruth, and
was fond of his lessons and infatuated
with the Sunday School, and when the
knife dropped from the cap, and poor
George hung his head and blushed, as if
in conscious guilt, and the aggrisYsd