The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-02-07
BILLY PoLLUD TO MozIs ADDUMs.
"A PoLLUD's BUG, Ann Dom, 1868.
Mr.. MoZIs ADDUMs:-


a PoLLUD's BUG, Ann Dom, 1868.
Mr.. MozIs ADDuMs:-
DEER SuR-A greet ritter wunst sed that
'tlle glowry and forehune of man of
ten depens on the rode he talks when
levin his hous." This senternint is
folst frum alter to omigger. Everything
what smell like fillOserfy, amt tru
lacks but peepil wonts to stot sum-
thin knew, and don't no how to go bout
it. think the knewest thing what's
bin slotted in the larst 10 yers, is the
wor. Some foxes liked it, but didn't I;
and reckon be 4long tbay Won't like it
nuther. Now, I'm gwine to Civ yu a
littil eppersode what TUX plais with me
and my pidgine-tale kote. When l
used to Twin Saillum Va, l was greet
bow with the gals. Well, wun mite
thar was gwine to be leckshur, and
jist to show the wilder Joans that l
didn keer nuthin bout her kickin me,
| rote a billy doc to Miss Hammer Flem-
mines, askin the pleshure ov her kump-
ny. She anserd very perlite and
sprest herself under menny oblerga-
shums for my kline attendants. Miss
Hammer wus a fashionable yung lady, SO
put on my hyfalutin sutc-ilew pid-
gin-tale kote with brass buttons on
it, and lite pantloons. Now l had to
rite by the kollige, and l node the
Steudens was gwine to laH at me, but
| didn't keer, so buttonin up my pid-
gin-tale ''drley miReterry' and a cooking
oy my story beever over my left eye,
SEE | to myseif-s'now for it, Billy, for
rud march," When / got to the Kol-
lige, thar was bout 80 studens on the
poach. l maid out lik didn't see EN-
but thay sOr me, and komments a
hollcrin-"Kote what yu gwine to do
with that mani hellow mistur, |
wont to by yer hat for supe-Kittil'-
81 say, mistur, eff yer don't role up yer
britchis, thay'll git muddy" 'rwont
while to say that, fort hey didn't tech
the grown by nigh inchis,' and the
Teller tole lie. | put on a bold fails
and stud it awl, till reeched Name
Street, whar 1 met littil brat bout s
yers old and his fails hadn't bin washed
for 2 munts, reckon. lie had on a
peace a shut, and his britchis, which
thay was minous leg-he was Il hold
in up with his hands. SEE he, "Mishtur,
is yer gwine to be a leckshur ?"--Dog-
goned, it maid me mad, "sez L." git out
infernil rIdjins"-and plantin ov my
butte to under his chin, kick. him he'd
over heals into ditch. Bout this time.
l wus turnin the cornder ov Name
Streat, when lady poked her he'd out
winder and hOllud, "yondcr gose a
dandy, my stars ei it don't beet emmy
thing ever sor sints the wor Konl-
ments," but, nuvver stopt to ask her
ls,nb<.,. 20 Ia GAUGE I xyac ~, tha ranat ~.
fullest hurry to git out the site ov ev-
vybody. Name Street WIS full ov karts
and vehickils ov awl sorts; goin up and
down, evry way, and jist as got to the
cross streat what went to Miss Han
ner Flemminsis hous, karts was pass
in wun nuther at a 40 RAFT. i lung
myself rite atixt 'em, and by my ajil-
lerty | cieered the dangrus strait and
arrove ut 'tother side. But my siicksess
kors me mour than Lennydus at Their
moply; and lukin aroun, sor wun my
kote-tales way down the streat. The
shaft ov wun them cornfondid tumbler
karts had dun toar it orr. | stottid for
to git it. A gang ov yung erchins was
awl around me-alaffin, and hurrawin,
and atellin me, 'smishtur, tar OFF 'tother
wun now, and twill so and SO 4th.-
Now, Mishtur MoZis, q man may be a
tru fillossyfer ami tree frum awl pre-
jewdis Ov dressin, but he wolff feal
plessint walkin the publickquc streat
IN kostoom what amt got no naim.-
So tlot then, and gittin into u ally
whar thar wont no foxes, l went on til
sor a ole niger oman asettin in the
dore sowin. Coin up to her, sed, SEE
I,"Antty, Use fist had u littil axerdunt
to happin, won't yu shely me ?"--and
maxim a graisful bow, perGust the un-
forchunait pruf ov my exorjuni. She
bustdout alatiln, and SEE, "etyou aint
two pertickler''--"Oh! Lord" seq l.
''ef you'll only Civ it q stitch to hole it
til can git hoam. Often she got threw
Civ her 81 Kontedrit noat, and hur-
rid to Miss Hammers hous; juckt her
plump arm Though the crook ov my
rite elbo and boltid for the church (whar
the leckshur was,) it bein very lat.
Proud ov my knew sweat hart, and q
heep more prouder ov my pidgin-tale
and the brass buttons ,fon it, / rared
back and struttid like a yung terkey
kok, all the way up the lie, eileen to the
pulpit. Thar set vii Broun on wun
side, propt up with "oule BrOun's" stan
din koller, and his mas white pokit
hankcher tide round it, and Joe Ribble
on 'tother, with his lain stick In his
hand. thot heerd a Singer rs sune
as enterd; then laff, then anuther,
and anuther; till by the time recent
the pulpit everybody in the..hou wus
aroarin, and ashoutin and abellrin, so
you coodn t heer yer GERS. thot thay
was latin ut the leckshur man. 8
Miss Hammer TUX her sect, and slept
forrud to draw my KOte tales assunder,
preparatory to taikin ov my own sect,
when thar riz SIGH yell--as yu nuvver
hurd the like--frum anvil sides, inkludin
my sweat-hart, that it was like hevin
and airth a cumin together.
ternd my hed-and my he'd was
ternd--for seen that that dod-drottid,
derned ole niger oman had dun sowed
my kote-tale on bottOm-upwards, and
hadn't techt q slit in my britchis
inchis long.
Imade q hevvy. push for the doar, and
amt seen Miss Hammer Flenmmins,
nor the wilder, nor Saillum scnts.