The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-11-18

.....s
measured, but the total fall Of thelriver. on thu
three distinct tumbles it take cannot be less
than 800 feet, while the river itself is ovel
i 400 feet at its narrowess width. The chaune
! OF the stream below the falls is chasm 1900
feet IN width and 1000 in depth, with perpen
deular walls of rock inclcsing it.
A Roland fer N Oliyer-City Editors Dis.
! Secte1.
The letter Of tile Louisville Courier's cor
respondent, Yuba Dam, on country editors
called forth the following witty rejoinder
from the editor of the Griffin 1Ga1 Star:
/ YuBA DAM-The rowing correspondent
Of the Louisville Courier maketh merry at
the expense Of 'ye country editors, as fol
! lows:
x
To which Eye country editor" Of the Grifs
fin Star sendsth greetings:
| The correspondent Of the city papers is a
rare ANS. He is generally man who, hav-
ing failed at everything else goes Junsmiing
around newspaper Offices, begging for a job.
until the proprietors, in sheer despair, and
merely to get rid Of him, present him with
/ about $40, with orders to Gravel" for news
Straightvay he puts on much dignity. When
he gets off safe distance, he claims to be
part owner Of chs paper" He gets no free
passes from railroad superintendent, for they
know he is only a hummer But he gener-
ally manages to bully the conductors out of
his fare. 's.il u i5&
At political meetings he forces an intro
ductlon to the speakers, and other ambitious
politicians. OF the younger and more mex
perieaced he borro~s ten to twenty dollars,
and notices them III soft Sander. style when
he writes his letter, something like this
'The young and talented John Smith elec-a
trlhed the vast audience whose upheayed sea
of faces we're anon bathed In tears, and then,
convulsea with laughter He strikes home
to the hcart and is evidently born orator.
predict for him at no distant day seat in
the q. S. Senatc-in fact tAe Presidency is
within his grasp" Sc. After this our hero
is sure of never being aunned for the ten
dollars. The debt is not only paid, but he
has the victim safe where he can black-mail
him out Of more funds. 'fas'9
Our cumming correspondent is huge on
public dinners to. great men. He slips in
under cover Of the newspaper privilege and
in his letter" he describes the festive occa-
sion in grand style, making himself the cen
ter figure of the occasion, as matter of course
something after this fashion "Thc Hon.
Mr.. Soaptal remarked to me, soto voce, that
he thought ex Governor Bloodtub was max
ing fool Of himaelf" Judge Dryasdust
asked my opinion of the Constitutional
Amendment" &c Our hero is generally
found by the servants some time after the
feast is over, under the table. with his feet
in bis hat, his a4notes" slightly soaked with
liquor, and his lovely person estealiug and
giving odor." This melodrainatic part Of the
entertainment never appears in the letter to
Sour paper"
I Our hero is a great man at fashionable
party, especially among those aspiring d,en-
nos who have daughters getting little stale
These maneuvering ma1n1nas pet our bum
mer and introduce him to their 'set" Some
times be succeeds IN bunming them out of
an <. Ia the inevitable 'slettsr" staring
world reads thus: "The Hon. Mrs. Turvey-
drop gave the great soires Of the season, on
Tuesday evening last, at which were Assem-
b!ed all the beauty and fashion now at this
irresistible watering place. Where all was
indescribable beauty and perennial youth, it
were ipvidious to mention individuals 1
cannot, however, refrain from limiting at the
matchless beauty and grace Of Miss Past her
time who was the belle of the occasion
She wore a Nazarens blue silk skirt -looped
up with dianlonds-oyer white satin, en-
broidered with silver; her delicate waist
and snowy shoulders enveloped in feecy
cloud of rich old point lace, while her fairy
foot, in little No. satin slipper, trimmed
with diamond buckles, scarcely touched the
floor. Her head was chef dcuvre of the
hair dresser's art, and sparkled with brilli-
ants which paled before tho luster of her
matchless eyes. In fact. she was the observ-
ed of all Observers She is reputad worth |
$3.50, 900 in her own right, besides large ex-
pectations' For this magnificent lift, our
hummer generally realizes divers little pres
ents 3''tt Nft.
He is the tsrror Of landlords and country
newspaper Offices. The former he invariably |
bllks for his board bill; while he invades
the sanctunas Of the latter with lordly air,
demanding a sight Of the latest exchanges
before the editor gets peep anthem. Some
times he inyeigles soft country editor to
publish puff written by himself, of him
self, thus: 'sOur sanctum was favored by
visit from the young, talented, and celebra-
ted Tubu Dam, now connected with the first
paper of the day. hr. Yuba Dam speaks Of
buying the New York Herald. Wefbespeak
for him,success in the undertaking.
Our hero is a great man at State Legisla-
tive assemblies, where he lobbss for both
sides of every question, accepting brides,
from drink of bust head to pair Of boots.
lie is something of hero in the green
room of second class theatres, where he is
employed to penny a line faded actresses into
notoriety--he being, in fact, the last hope of
a bssted manager.
When our hero gets 50 seedy as to be kick
ed cut Of his position on respectable jour
nal, he frequently joins circus company,
and writes the pufs for the country papers.
In case Of emergency-sueh as sickness OF
one Of the stock players-he has condescen-
ded to ride one of the spotted horses in the
triumphaI grand cavalcade through the sseests,
and makes splendid steel clad kasht in the
morning. In tha after part OF the day he
may be found snoring in the ticket wagon
after the treasurer has left with the money
box.
Ar~-r