The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-02-15
Special Foreign Correspondence.
ISLAND or KAu1.,, January 10. lsG

ISLAND on KAuL,. January -, 1868.
Mn CoMMERsHN. EpITUR IL enclose 10 you n
letter from nj Cuzzin Bnmblebee Smith. which has
bin in the male what was tuck by tie lniuns, ez you
mite see hi them yere blud marks onto the ~enVylope,
and was afterwards picked up hi one of Gineral
Sherman's orlerlies, and rs it ware opened the Gin
eral red it, and out Of respect for the Honorary
Envoi, sent it ON by express, and ut the same time
the Gineral wants a message to be telegrafted To His
Illness TO warn him not to cum back TO Calforny hi
the Overland trail, AS them lnjuns are nifty fond of
trinkets and trumpery, and should the Dock cum bi
that yere rode, they mite brake agin the treaties and
put Uncle Sam to another war.
You'll see from mi Cuzzin's letter that the Dock
got nifty clost with Andy johnson, which appears
favorable for his bisnis, and it looks as if that ere
Mr.. King, of Californy, what owns half of all them
sugar plantations, mite be on the loosing site. That's
mi opinion, and remain alters trewly youru,
j. SMITH, ID. j.,
WITCH is peestrick Jeige Of Kaula in parsIeeiiv, lately Con-
stable, Jes'is rease, etcetry, in the siait OF Texas
wAsHIxGroN. Deestrick Kolumbia, !
18th October, 1867.
It's bin n long time sence / rote to you last, but
times in the Capital of these ere United Stats has
bin onkommonly lively O. late, and the dooties of mi
orfs has bin nifty onerus ever sence the ensterstu-
shun Of that ere National Union Johnson Camp No.
of the Deestrick of Kolumbia by kurnel N L. Saw
yer as Grand Cheef. Them OFFICERS that ware elekted
with Sawyer as thar leeler are n running thare Shoes
out to consult with Andy johnson, and what's more'n
that, the hull lot on 'em is alters rs dry as old Post
oak-punk, but trew blew and sound ON the demi-
krattic biyeridse what's called " whisky strait" L
hev to moov about nifty slick to keep the sidebored in
a good suppl, and / feels the hi responsibility Of
mi orfce for advancing the reelekshun of Andy
I lnhnSnu fr President
It's mi opinion, seq I, that your Illness shoodn't
say anithink about the Constertushun in your speech.
Ef you want mi help and advise TO preepar your
speech, 1 insist on your follering mi s~egeshuns. The
Dock sed he wood. SEE |, you can say as much
about the Constertushun rs you like arter you hev
bin interdooced, and for mi part mite 60 the hull
dcmikrattic hog and no mistake Andy will swaller
it grizzle, tail and all. But. SEE the Dock, I'm goin
to menshun that he sent a Penerpertenshary to Cali
forny On purpose to meet me and to wait ON the
wharf for me till l shood land. 1 spose all them fur
rim Ministers and Envois will be present at my re-
cepshun, and, you know, Kurnel, this ere part of
meetin me OH the wharf wood sorter make EN- feel
small-like. SEE l, as you like, but draw it mild.
And, SCI the Dock, don't you think twood be a good
idee to say suthin about mi bein a American born,
and luvin mi kontry still. SEE l., that's the tick.
IF your Illness wood jest let a teer or = run from
your les onto the blue end of your nose, and dangle
thar for a minnit or 2, SO as sorter to make a good
show befor wipin EN- of, you jest wood hit Andy's
feelins, and mite start him into sheddin tears hisself.
l can tell you, Dock, Andy is nifty slick ut weepin
when it Gums to the pint of observashun, and l spose
it woodn't be hard for you. Not at all, SCI the Dock,
eff you think it's best I'll let EN- run fast enufE That's
the game seq /. But, deer Cuz, l reckon that by this
time you have red the hull of the interdukshun
SraacbaS a - tla noot ta1epraffp1 Them immiietly to
his Minister INTERIOR to hav them published by the
Drekter of the Docks noospaper. By-the-by, the
Dock had another message, he told me, informin him
that it was all a mistake and that the Nj. Interior
didn't hav them ere measles, but had had a fife with
EN-, and that the Ticker bisnis and korner lots and
other fixins was all rite.
But the interdukshun 1 must tell you bout, Cuz.
1t ware a nifty purity site. l went to the Docks at
0 the clock, but 1 had to wait nj onto 8 ours. 1t took
that yere darned Niger SO long to fix His Illness and
eileen him up from he'd to heel, but when he opened
the dore and cum into the room, 1 skeercely shood
hav noed him, SIGH an immortel site as he was, eff it
hadn't bin for the sound of them ere millintary boots
of hisn. Thar was that ere catter-kornerd hat with
the seems all kivered over with gold leaf, and the
swallertaled cote all over spangled with gold leaf rib
bons and shiny brass buttons, slicker than airy Span
ish bull fiter, and gold leaf sowed onto the seem OF
his br1tsheS eileen down 10 them niiIllntary oOos, Out
nary gold on the boots, and then that soard onto his
side as bright as u counterfit dollar and rs polished
as that ere niger and chalk Good do it, and then
them crucifx orders Of Meetusalem or Bill Bowleks
or some other sort o anshent Injun, hung onto his
brest pocket. / tell you, Cuz, I've seed a good many
sites and sum of the finest cirkusses, but His Illness
was Jest about the tallcst of EN- all.
In walking down stars the soard got sortor mixed
m N with tlan prp leus and seq | yOur Illness don't |
peer to he much used to walk with u soard unto your
shift it farther behind, so as not to be in
the way. SEE he, pleese move it. The pen, you know,
Kurnel, is miticr than the soard as you see on me.
so, SEE /, and L moved the soard purity well
the cote tale, and then the Dock stepped down
nifty brisk, sorter half boss and alligator like, with
back and head tllrowed Mt leest a foot out the pen
dikular. As soon rs we cum into the street, = little
and a mulatter boi set up a harrahing and
shoutin for Phil Sheridan, them blarsted fools think
twas him, not noing that Phil aint half the man
rs His Illness, but thar tarnel scrcemin got n hull
crowd o lofers to follerin Us, and filled winders and
lores with wimmcn to look at US. | felt nifty riled
ut it, but the Dock, l could see by his pleasant smile
felt powerful pleased and anost teekled to deth,
md when them ere sentnels and orierlies ut the
White House salooted, he tried to look as grand as
the biggest old rooster we had to home a settin on n
Tcnce rale arter he'd done Growing.
When we cum into the room, thar was Patterson
est cum back from Wizards, Ebbitt's saloon and the
bar-room, and purity well onto it; then
hare was Johnny Cogle and Binkiy, Kurnel Sawyer,
Dan O'IIara and JeIe Black. OF the forrin Ministers
har was only that ere niger from Ilaity. Toni
mean Tom Florence. one of the best felers when he
lint riting n leeder for the Erening Sidr-was as
isualli standing near the s%idcbored, to which he Gums
very day as regular as clock-work. So | walked up
Tom. SEE Tom 10 me, kurnel,