The Placer herald., 1868-02-01
A Disbanded Volunteer.

A Disbanded Volunteer.
Scathing satire and sound logic are de-.
lightfully mingled in the following letter,
and there is not much risk in saying that
the predictions as to the fate Of kadicaism
are in fair way Of being fulfilled.
ST.. NIcKALAs HorrEI. N. Y.
December 18th, 1867. I
EDDYTuRs OF THE MERKARY:
OF all the damp gunpowder fzzels that
ever was made by the big guns Of emmy par
", the impeachment fzzs is sa,tainly the
most red ckalus. The mountiu that had
setch hard time cid manedge to perdooce
live mouse, but the Radical Vesoovius,
arter tumb'in and roarin for eenamost two
years, hes brort forth nulbn but the remains
OF a red tapeworm. that evryboddy turns
away from with contempt and disgust. |
hav seen heap Of polytickle aborshins in
my time, but this still born reptile with a
bad smell makes all the rest respectable, and
consines the authors Of is beein TO everlas.
tin infamy. The fly.seveu iupotent M. C.'s
who acknowledged it as thar off spring on
Saturday last, will hensforrard be looked
upon by all rigbt'minded men as the mean
est knaves ever raised on A merican soil.
Ef ever fackshin was in cold swet,
the Radicals are at the present moment.
used to call them the Ravin RAIDS. but all
tho rave is taken outer em. Their Naysbin-
al Committee, as they call it, is now in ses
shin at Washington with closed doors and
all the keyholes stopped, many facterin plat.
form and selectin place to hold grand
pow.wow for the nominashin of candy
date for the Presidency. persoom luther
Chicago or Cleveland will be fixed upon for
the paIavver. Chicago being tile Gamorrow
of the West, would be the fltirgest loca
shin; and ef Providence hes eny idee o
treatin that sink Of inickaty to a shower o
billing pitch and sulier, the getberin of the
Radical Convention thar would afford fine
opportoonity Of KILN two birds with one stun.
ain disposed to think that tbars devil
Of a row in the committee about the plat.
form. | ken state on good authority that
Cheef Jestis Chase, who eggspects 10 he
hys.ed onto it when its finished. is almighty
anxious about the ,imbers. Notwilhstand
ing his atfeckshin for brother Backface, he
doesent want any overly large ebony plant
in it. Thad Stevens insists on baving il
constructed altogether outer that material,
but Chase prefers 10 hev it cbeckered,
like a a draft board. lie prays hevvy, on
derstand, that the Lord will put it inter the
harts Of the majority Of the committee TO in
terdoose as little of the nigger inter thar
forthcommin manifesto as they conveniently
ken not, as he observes to the Lord in a
payrenthasis, that he doosent yeern to The
African race as mutch as ever be did, but
bekase the misabul benigbted white people
of the kentry besent yet been eddicated up to
his idees, and kennot he indoosed TO take
Sambo to thar arms and carry him in thar
buzzums, at the present crysis. The Great
Commoner bein freetbinker, and more
given to swarm than prayin, like bis old
chum, Ben Wade, hes but little chanst. !
reckon, agen se'ch a suppicatin Christian
as the Cheef Jestis, and persoom, tharfore
that Chase II carry The day in favor Of
chsckered platform. In fact shouldn't be
surprised if the white squars predominates.
Wot Chase wants is TO be President, and
sense the people don't seem inklned to
swaIler the dark kulIered porredgs cooked up
for EN- by Stevens, Filips and Sumner, he's
wllen to make it palitabIe to EN- by addin eny
resinable kwanlity of milk to the molssses.
The resent eIsckshin Of Democratic
Mare in Boston, shows that the pollytickle
saddle in Massachusetts is likely to be trans
ferred at the Presidential eleckshin from the
woody nag to boss Of anuther kuler, and
Of the Bay State desarls the Radicals, wot
hope ken they hev Of emmy support from the
North. A hafe and hsfe, or even white
brown platform won't save 'em, for we all
know wot they mean, wotever they may say,
and hypocrisy will simply loose 'em the
votes OF all the fannyticks without helpin
'em a mite with the rasbioal masses. More
over, se,ch platform will put thar noses
outer joint with the Suthern niggers, and
atwixi two stools they'll cum 10 the ground
Fl ever facksbin was in perplexin pre-
dickymsnt. they air at the present junkter
Thar fate is sealed. No amount Of cunnin
engineerin and whippin thar pattern Saint,
the devil, round the stump, ken save EN- ;
and The most consistent thing they kin do is
10 90 down with the black flag 6yin. In that
case they may possibly bs regarded as marteis
by thar woody bedded consttyents; but Of
they back and ill, and try to carry water on
both shoulders, they will 60 onder with the
harty consent Of both races, and the yam
yah yah Of Sambo will mingle with the
cheers OF The millions OF The North as they
pass outer sight forever. As Dow Junior
used to say, $50 mote it be-"
Lookio hopefully forrard TO the hour Of
rstribushin,
l remain, as usual, yours allus,
A DsDANDsD VoLuNTEER.