Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1868-12-23

Sforr Of a london Cobler.

dtN bI pONefJylf uWetl un luuuslTiOuS
son Of st. Crispin.
Now, it Happened, as the case often
is, that the shoemaker was the father
of a family almost numerous enough
to qualify him for the responsible
berth of a parish beadle-and being
the father of eight, it reSuired a con-
tinuOus exertiOn of his physical pow
ers to procure them the absolute nee
essaries of life. He was, of course,
necessitated to work early and late
and the rat-a-tat-tat of the shOema-
ker's hammer, long before light in
the morning, naturally disturbed the
family of Lord l., who were of
that unfortunate class who were COM
PEELED by the requirements of fash
iOnable society to convert night into
day.
Lord would have slept sound
" under the very snOre of lOcOmO-
tive, but his lady was unluekily the
pOSsessOr of one of those intense ner-
vous temperaments which naturally
recOil at anything approaching the
hum-drum of plebian pursuits. The
noise of the shOemaker's hammer was
too much for her delicate organization,
and she would awaken Lord l.
from his blissful slumbers, Oft-times at
the very point of happy eOnsuma-
tiOn of his dreams, by reminding him
of that horrid noise in the rear. Lord
I4-was phlegmatic and fOggy, by
no means q sdCdnt, though an intense
admirer of Lady l., who was tall
ented. He possessed none of the re-
pellant discrimination of his lady,
and have preferred the society of some
clever representative Of Billingsgate
TO that of minister of the church of
England. But as we have said, he
believed implicitly in Lady l.,
and anything calculated to annoy that
most excellent lady, must be removed
at any cost. OF course, after eOnsum-
ing the night, and three or four hours
of the morning, in the enjoyment of
parti ian pleasures, it was absolutely
necessary to Lady Whose bril-
liant talents were perpetually on the
stretch during those intoxicating mo-
ments, that she should have the priv
ilege of commanding a few moments
of undisturbed quiet out of the twen-
ty-fOur hours allotted to a day, with
out suffering the inalienable peroga-
tives of her nobility to be disturbed
by a vulgar and designing eOrdwainer.
Lord land his lady had return
ed about four in the morning from
the reception of the distinguished
Duchess Of, his LOrdship being
in blissful state of self-uneOnseiOus-
ness from the potent effects of certain
wines of marvellous antiquity, and her
ladyship highly charged with the bril-
liant bOn-mOts which had fallen like
pearls from the eloquent lips of dis
tinguished sdrdIit, whose cratic dis
position inclined him to a suite of
apartments, including one room upon
the attic floor. But scarcely had Lady
Is-resigned herself luxuriOusly to
the arms of Morpheus, when she was
suddenly recalled 10 the vulgar reali-
ties of a practical existence by that
everlasting humping of the father of
eight children, in the rear.
She gave Lord Ia sharp punch
in the ribs, which aroused him in an
instant to that astonishing state of
self-cOnseiOusness, which led hiLn 10
inquire in a somewhat testy, though
oblivious manner
Lord bless me- Lady l.,
what's the matter? What are you
driving at my ribs for? You have
thumped them now till they are sOrer |
than Balaam's donkey. Why can't
you let a poor fellow rest ~
II Ireally believe, my lord, you would
go to sleep m a hornets nest, or on the
brink Of a crater!" exclaimed her la
dyship petulantly. II really wish
sometimes were as happily and stu
pidly organized as you are. / should
not be disturbed then by the everlast- |
ing humping of that hOFrid creature
in the rear"
"Ugh ~ said his lOrdship, dOzingly; |
leave me alone this time, and III
look tot in the morning"
Suddenly the rat-a-tat-tat, which
had subsided but a moment before,
now recommended with renewed Wig
or.
"Good Heavens!" cried her lady
ship, renewing her manipulatiOns up
on the ribs of his lOrdship. Il shall /
positively go distracted with that obi
Gus shoemaker, unless You pay some
further regards to my feelings, and |
put a stop to hisperpetual humping.
only be quiet, my lady, and III
do il in the morning, at whatever /
cost, said my lord.
The fact OF il was, our honest shoe
l.
large family had compelled to rise ear
". had commenced the labors Of the
dav shortly after the retirement of /
Lord land his lady, and as the
lady had not thought proper to stupe-
fy herself with the same potent bever-
age which had operated so advantage
ously upon the nerves of his lOriship,
slumber to her of course was denied.
On the same day at n later hour,
and agreeable To his promise, Lord
L-paid the shoemaker visit. He
found him still pounding away at his
humble calling, and they speedily en-
tered into conversation. His lOrdship
stated his wife's grievances, and de
sired to know If he could not wait till
a reasonable hour in the morning be-
fore commencing his labOTs.
"Alas, my lord, am very poor; and
having the responsibility OF large
family weighing upon me, / am Oblig
Ell to work early and late TO pay my
little rent here and support them. 1t
is true, il had little money 10 do
with, should open a much larger
shop in a more favorable locality, and
should doubtless make a very good
thing of it. But poverty, my lord, is
n stearn reality that may not be under
stood by people In the same walk of
life as your honor"
"Ahem!" said his lOrdship; chow
much money would it require to car
" out these designs?n
"FOr five hundred pounds, l might
open a shop and stock It handsomely,
in the very heart of London. In some
obscure quarter, with advantages cor
respOndingly less, / might open with
less capital
Look here, my man, said Lord
L., II am strongly inclined to fa-
vOr your enterprise. will lend you
five hundred pounds to-day upon the
I shall dictate to you. In
a word, you shall pay me back one
pound per week for this money as long |
rs You live, and when you die, your :
death shall cancel the debt. / will !
run my own risks as regards your lon {
gevity. What do you say-will you {
accept the money on those terms2n ]
81 will, and God bless your lordship
forever, and your lOTdship's lady, and
may YOU live thousand years and be
happy and may live as long to re- J
pay YOU! exclaimed the delighted |,
artisan, tossing aside the shoe upon
which he had been humping away all :
the morning, 81 have realized my ,
dream, I'll take a shop in Bond street, J
and serve nothing but nObility-GOd :
bless them!
4. r IL - l