Middletown transcript., 1868-03-28
01it and 9umort.
A wedding Night shirt.

ht3tfs-s
1t was hardly the fair thing that the
boys did to Joe Thompson the night he
was married, but the temptation was ire
sistible. They couldn't have helped it to
save their lives. I'll tell you how it was
Joe was about the most fancifully dress
ed buck in the town-over nice and par
ticular--a regular Miss Nancy in man.
-ners, always putting on airs, and more
dainty and modest than girl. Well,
when his wedding night came he was
dressed to kill, and his pants, especially,
fitted him as if they had been molds and
his legs candles, and run into them
Tight was no name for them. Their SIT
was immense, and he was prouder than
half dozen peacocks.
.sAren't they nice, boys? he asked of
the two who were to be groomsmen and
A.. see that he threw himself away in the most
approved fashion.
''Stunning! gorgeousn replied Tom
Bennett. "Never saw any thing equal to
Them. But, | say Joe, aren't they just
,.theh least bit tight? 1t strikes me that
you will have some difficulty in bending
''Aswon't you?" sft. .i'.h
.,ai,., Pshaw, no! They are just as easy as
ian old glove See!' a r'..
NShTo prove the matter he bent down so as
to touch his patent feathers, when crack
,scrack followed like the twain reports of
revolver .gi.tt
aaii.sThunder exclaimed Joe, as he clap
ped his hands behind, and found a rent in
the cashmere from stem to stern. "Thun-
der! the pants have burst, and what shall
Il dol"
Il should rather think they had," an
swcred Tom, getting purple in the face as
he endeavored to control his slaughter. But
there is no time to get another pair 1t
.tonly wants half an hour of the standing up
time, and we have got mile to go, Car
s,riage waiting too"
swhat shall DO ?--what shall | do 2"
-zs - I'll tell you what Joe, if mine would
:. fit you, you should have them, and well
come but they are mile too big, would
ylset like a shirt on a bean pole I see nc
% way but to have them mended." Az
80 Who can get to do it, TomY'
saei % Well, l am something of tailor, and
can fix them so they wont show. Hold
's4onh a. minute, and III get needle and
thread"
,ssE Y!Can you? May God bless you!'
"Of with your coat n' commanded Tom
as he come back
Nov lay yourself over on the bed, ,anG
Twill fix you in short order. ~ -lOTJ
The command was obeyed-the pant,
,mended-the coat tails carefully pinnee
over. SO as to conceal the "distress fol
sFent," aud all went as merry as marriage
bell until Joe followed his blushing brid,
to the nuptial couch. '' ~
Is There was only dim light in the, room
but it enabled Joe, as he glanced bashfully
around, to see the sweetest face in the world
the rosy cheeks and ripe lips, the Lowell,
and loving eyes, and the golden curls jus
,speeping out from the snowy sheets anC
he distinguished it altogether, and hasten
ed to disrobe himself OFF came coat
vest, fancy necktic and collar, boots ant
socks in a hurry but somehow the pant
stuck The more he tried, the more the,
wouldn't come. and he tugged yainly fo
half an hour 8%
7G 4. Thunder" muttered Joe. sfE
ts't'st What is the matter dear?" came in tn
.softest of accents from the bed, where some
body was wondering if he was ever goin
to come. her arms.
ff was moment Of desperation 10
twas overcome by the situation, and fol
getting his accustomed bashfulness, blul
tied out IL
-oa,st. Molly, that cursed Tom Bennett ha
sewed my pants, drawers, shirt and under
shirt altogether -
. 1t is too bad. Wait moment, dear.
A little stockingless foot peeped OF
first, then aruffied night dress, the lam
was lighted, pair of scissors found, an
sJoe released. ,s