The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-09-06
voRN1Ke STAR AND CATHOLIC MESSENGER.
Trw.oRIEANs, SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 6, 1868
WIT AND WISDOM.

Special Pleaders-Woman's tears.
Mansions in the Sky--Air Castles.
The Spirit of the Press-New cider.
Money brings friends; want of it, frenzy.
The Hardships of the Ocean-Ironclads.
A Cold Snap-Breaking your leg on the
A Natural Artist-One who draws his
breath.
A Good Moose Paper-The marriage GER
tfcate.
An Object of Foul PLAYA henpecked
husband.
One Bad Thing About Gold Not
having it.
Popular Agricultural Implement-West-
ward hoe
An oyster leads placid life until it gets
into stew.
A Man Who Has a Turn for Musician
organ grinder.
Show me q man as don't laugh, and I'll
lock up my spoons.
-#AieA-is the smallest bridge in the
worlds Your nose.
Our Nearest of Kin-Mosquitoes. They
are our blood relations.
Men often live long enough to become
strangers in the world.
He who buys too many sqperfuities may
be obliged to sell his necessaries.
The fire is discovered by it's own light;
SO is virtue by its own excellence.
Why is pretty girls foot like the letter
" Because it is at the end of beauty.
The gravest events dawn with no more
noise than the morning star makes in rising
Why iscoffee like an axe with a dull edge7
Because it has to be ground before it is
used
The gentleman who, short time since,
spoke against time," has been obliged to
apologize.
Why ar3women extravagant in clothes
Because, when they buy new dress, they
wear it out on the first day.
Definition of a Lover--A man who, in
his anxiety to obtain possession of another,
has lost possession of himself.
A person, bored by a squirting man, who
persisted in questions about his broken leg,
replied: "It is quite crooked-as you see."
Weather. Wise-Always be particular in
observing where the wind drops you may
be called on to raise it at a moments notice.
Matrimonial-A gentleman endowed with
great deal of brass, desires to meet with
of tin.
English expectations of books IRE meas
ured by weight. That is because the gov
eminent know majority of them are
heavy reading.
There is an old proyerb which says that
contentment is the true philosophers stone.
Very likely, for no one has ever found
either the one or the other.
A subscriber writes that he takes no
stock in the " New Woman's Club" He
says the " old woman's club" is enough for
him, and frequently too much.
There is one advantage in being a block
head: you are never attacked with low
spirits or apoplexy. The moment man
can worry, he ceases to be fool.
Put two persons in the same bedroom,
one of whom, has the toothache, and the
the person having the toothache will go
to sleep first.
s'Boy," said ill-tempered old fellow
to noisy lad, "what are you hollering for
when go by ~ I" Humph!" returned the
boy, :. what are you going by for when L
am hollering9"
An unfortunate old bachelor gives it as
his opinion that the trails of ladies' dresses
are internal machines, from the fact that II
blow-up took place directly after he put
his feet on one.s,
An eccentric man in Bath, Maine, was
asked to aid foreign mission. He gave Il
quarter of dollar, but stopped the agent
as he was departing, and said: "Here's
dollar to pay the expense of getting the
quarter to the heathen."
"Won't you take my word, sir, when |
tell You will call and pay your bill ?" said
a delinquent debtor to a dunning creditor,
with whom he had had sharp words. "No,
SIR" replied the other, 81 had rather you
would keep your word"
A gentleman was praising the beautiful
hair of ~ lady, when one of those precious
little misses who always have word to
say, remarked: So guess my hair would
look as well, if l took as much care of it.
Mamma never sleeps in her hair"
ooh, just look out of the window, Mr..
Editor, and see that string of men and
boys, with long poles on their shoulders!
What do you suppose they are after ?"
"They are after fish in the pond, pre-
sumo .No, sir; they are-all one after
the other"
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