Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-06-17
THE FIRST WEDDING /:
Biography of the Happy Couple.
BY A DISTANT RELATIVE.

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wicked thing-there dwelt in a distant
land gentleman called Adam, whose sur
name was Firstman, whu became enamo-
red of beautiful lady known as Eve b
Cuiled, His attentions appear to have
been accepted, and recIprocated by the
young lady, and she became convinced
that he was " the only man who she could
ever love, if we may judge by the fol-
lowing communication which she made tC
John Milton, who followed the rather
singular vocation of advertising thing:
" lost and found upon her Fathers estate
" Confirmed then resolved Adam shall
share with me in bliss or woe; so dear /
love him, that with him all death could
endure, without him lige no life"
This being equivalent to the modest
declaration that the lady is willing thai
her lover should begin to g. pay her board,
arrangements were Immediately made to
have the union consummated, and in the
absence of any official clergyman, the GER
emony was performed in the most simple
and uucscntatious manner, in the beauti-
ful garden of Eden. The auspicious mo-
ment having arrived, the groom took the
white and little hand Of his bride, nnadorn =
ed even by a "plain gold ring, " and,
affectionately impripting upon it kiss
reverently said "' This is now bone of my
bone, and flesh of my flesh, therefore
shall man leave his father and mother
and clcave unto his wife, and they shall by
one flesh" No cards. Thus was joined
in the bonds of wedlock the first couple ot
which we have any knowledge. There
was no "rotund, spectacled father-in-
law, no interested mother-in-law, with her
legendary smelling bottle, and no dear
unmarried aunt present.
Nor was the ubiquitous jenkins .
there to "wrire up the affair."" so the
readers Of the Daily Post Dluvian could
not take in, with their coffee and cakes,
next morning, detailed account Of what
was done, and said, and worn, at the wed
ding, much to the regret, doubtless, of tie
jolly Post Dluvians. Bat jenkins, had
he been there, would have found it diff
cult 10 get up a sensation article, for there
was an entire absence Of the obtrusive dis
play and reckless extravaganza upon the
occasion refreshing to contemplate. The
outfit Of the groom was plain and simple,
perhaps the most noticeable thing about it
being the absence of the "dress coat, "
prescribed on such occasions by " our
host society" The bridal costume was
marked by perfect simplicity and the alb
sence OF all expensive aud extravagant
adornmeuts There must have been some
thing very becoming in this costume, as
certain ladies in fashionable liie,at the pres
ent day, initiate it as closely as possible
when in full dress"
Dispensing with the practice now so
prevalent. of indulging in wedding tour,
and not caring to publicly proclaim them
selves as newiy-married by the occupation
Of The bridal chambers in the hotels and
on steam ncars the happy couple settled
quietly down to enjoy the cares of mar
ried life in the Garden of Eden, and were
noted for their plain and unprctendng
manner of living. They kept no carriage
hired no opera-bOx, gave n" costly enter
tainments, but contented themselves with
the simple, inexpensive aud satisfactory
pleasures of enjoyment incident to their
circumstances and surroundings. Adam
was a good husband he spent his eve
nings and a good many of his days at
home ; he had no business engagements
" down street after dark. nor did he be-
long to a club, lie spent his evenings at
home with his wife, whom he never hut
INFLATED by coming home late o'nlg4lts
with a brick in his hat and very am
biguous dialect lie did not even color
5 meerschaum, but retained in his cheeks
the color which else had been transmitted
in deeper hue to the bowl of the pipe
His sleep was undisturbed by the effects
Of dissipation or the nightmares of the
stock market hence was calm and refresh
ing. Undoubtedly he was an carly riser
and loved the dewy morn "-as we are
sure he did the gentle Eve Eve was,
doubtless very beautiful woman, Mil
ton tesiiies that grace was in her steps
heaven in her eyes, in every gesture dig
NIFTY aud love-" She deserved, if any oi
her sex ever did, the credit of caring lit
tie for the Establishments of dress. Her
tastes and habits were eminentI y domestic
and for her in truth there was no place
, like home. a... - .
Her amusements were few she cared
little for operas or balls, but she probably
attended the matnees of natures songsters
in the open air, where ushers, programmes
and reserved seats were unknown, and II
is not unlikely she flequently accompanied
Adam to see the menagerie or collection
OF animals in the garden. We know thai
Adam went, for the Scriptures tell Us
that upon one occasion he called the ami
mails names.
Eve SO far as we know, spent little time
} and money in shopping, " and it is no
: probable that she had ever heard O
"Stewart's, " the Mecca of American wo-
man. She never sent Adam to a restaur-
ant for his meals or Mondays because
they were " washing days" nor made hi
life miserable by semi-annual "houst
cleaning" She was Lot heartless wo
man of the world, nor did she ever in
, dulge in gossip or scandal; she had NJ
affiliations with Mrs, Grundy and kindred