St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1868-12-18

haluhercnlef delicate OdOrs OF Yalerlai
and asSatTtida. They are the harvest
CT druggists and the amazement of ply
slclans, who no sooner clear the pain
from one spot than itappears in another
II one JOINT loses the pang another joint
gets 1t, and, the patient having long ag,
resolved never again to be well, it i
only question between membrane anc
midritf
AT times we should talk over our dis
tresses and seek sympathy, but perpetua
discourse on such themes wears out the
patience of our friends. You always sec
the young people run from the groanins
valetudlnarlan and the minister fails in
his coincidence, for why speak of the pa.
tIence OF Job TO one who says :hat boil>
are nothing 10 his distresses The hobby
he rides Is wounded and scabbed and
torn with all the diseases mentioned in
tarrery, CHAMBERS, bolts, foot-rot, spawn,
rlng-bone, and kings evil" Incurable
nays are taken out on the commons and
killed, but this poor hobby iogs on with
no hope on the other side of the Red Sea
OF Joining Pharaoh's horses The more
ii llmpS, and the harder it breathes, the
faster they ride it.
We next refer to retorm.atoyv hobbies.
We believe in tue doctrines Of teetotal-
ism. In glass Of ice water, our only
beverage, we drink TO the success of that
cause. We advocate the Maine-law.
In all appropriate times and places we
are ready to fight drunkenness 1t has
dug It's trench across the land and filled
1t with the best blood OF the nation.
But some OF our friends have been turned
INTO temperance monomanacs Tnev
would have temperance cars, and tenn
perance stages, and temperance steam
boats, none 10 ride III them but leetotal-
ers. They have actually proposed milk
to take the place of wine at the sacra-
ment. They would make the taking of
the piedgea Il prerequisite of church mem-
bershlp. They have no mercy for the
man who has champagne on his table.
They would let IL man die Of typhoid,
before they would give him "a drop of
Burgundy. They have dwelt upon the
one evil Ill all others are submerged and
forgotten. They have horrld night
mares ot demiuhn and decanter They
talk as though, ii a man cleared the
whl>key cask, he was safe for heaven :;
torsettul of the tact that the only decent
thing about thousands of men Is that
they do not drink. They would do that
II they were not too stlngy. We knew Il
man who, 10 save expense, wheeled his
wife 10 the grave on Il whecl-barrow.
He never drank. We caught a man
stealing watcrmelons from our patch.
lie was 4 teetotaer. 1t would have
been well Tor lis il he had disliked mel
uns as much a> he did whi-key We
have found strong advocates tor ab-ti-
hence III VI Dyamensing prison.
80 we find anIi-tubacconiSts on their
hobby. They can tell you how many
miles OF pig-tail have been chewed in tn"
last century, and how many navies would
he borne up by the saliva II the Atlantic
ocean, emptled OF It's water, could be-
come the spiItOun vi the nation. We
admit that 1t Is not pleasant to sit in
coach or car with i chcwcr between Us
and the wind, the wind blowing toward
tie. 1t is as dlsagreeable as prcachin.
with cold i'll your head and no pocket
handkerchief,
We neither smoke nor chew. The
only Od0r OF the weed in our house is
from the cigars Ut our friends who come
to see Us. And yet we know of two or
three men who went TO heaven, we
think, notwithstanding they were smok-
erS- In their last sickness. whenever
they could sit up they took a chew of
tobacco. We have no sympathy with
those who cannot unwrinkle their upper
lip for Il halt hour after they have caught
the breath OF "a smoker. There are la
ties - shocked by the smoking udbr-
which their husbands bring from the
club-room that it needs very careful
treatment 10 avoid Mysteries; as scnSi-
tive as The lady, married III mature wears.
who persisted i'll setting her husbands
boots ont,IGe the door. becauS, she could
not stand the smell of leather. We
would rather have our nose outraged
with whit from an old pipe than our
ear deatenci with the clatter of Il crazy
retormcr. We would not have even the
man who snutl-, ana chews, and smokes,
all III the same minute, kicked to death
10y the heels OF our hobby. William H.
Seward snutfs. Rufus Choate took OPT
um. George W. Bethune smoked
Good Abraham Van Net had wine on
his table. Presidents of colleges have
chewed tobacco. And expect that at
ter we have been gone so long that our
restlng-placc shall be is completely I'M
known as that OF Moses, many will get
to heavea who have not thought just as
we do We will never turn people into
the right way by riding over them with
our hobby.
We take step farther, and look at
some of our theological hobbies. This is
the only kind OF horse that ministers can
afford to own, and you ought not to he
surprised If sometimes in this way they
take an airing. We have had some
troubles OF late in the fact that in these
days OF brotherhood, Old School and
-NS" A'CiiOoi CoI doIi luC vi tIe StilIe lO j
by, and one fell off before, and the other
fell off behind. There was not room
enough for 50 many between name and
tail, Ii is well to remember that hob
bies sometimes kick, and that theolosi-
ans, like other people, are vulnerable.
How apt we are TO get religious
theory, and ride it up hill and down,
and expect that all the armed cavalry of
the church shall make way for our hob
by. There are theologlans who spend
their time IN trying to drown Baptists,
thinking it great waste to have So much
yvater apd nnt usa II fnr Soma da.;-;,-a