The Van Buren press., 1868-05-15
Boutwell, and the Astronomical Punish.
ment.

moro,is passage IN the speech of MIR. Evarts,
which all the newspaper correspondents
Democratic and Radical, have mentioned as
convulsing the Senate and galleries with
laughter. The rotund, sonorous, rhetorical
periods Of the Managers hatten out marvel
lously under those touches of good. natured
raillery and pungent satire. All their speech
es are gigantic bubbles illedw with windy rhc-
toric-mere "harangues," as Mr.. Evarts char
acterized one of Buffers introductory speech
cs, addressed to prejudice and passion. To
argue against such +" harangues lis impossible,
But they wilt down to the dimensions of
wet rag, under the puncture of jocosc sar-
casm-the only fitting response to the noise
ofgas-bags.
The real business of the Presidents counsel
has been, not to answer the speeches OF the
Managers, but to expound the law of the case
and release the facts from the dense fog raised
around them by the impeachcrs.
But here is the mirthfu episode in Mr..
Evarts' speech by which he laid OUT the
"astronoinicaw Manager:
may as conveniently at this point of the
argument as at any other pay some attention
to the astronomical punishment which the
learned and honorable Manager, Mr.. Bout
well, thinks should be applied to this novel
case Of impeachment of the President. Cicero,
think II Is who says that lawyer should
know everything, for sooner or later there is
no fact in history, in science, or OF human
knowledge that will not come into play In bis
arguments. Painfully sensible of my igno-
rance, being devoted to profession which
"sharpens and does not enlarge the mind'
Qaughter), / yet can admire without envy the
superior knowledge evinced by the honorable
Manager. Indeed, upon my soul, | believe he
is aware Of an astronomical fact which many
professors OF that science are wholly ignorant
OF But. nevertheless, while some OF his hon
orablc colleagues were paying attention to an
unoccupied and unappropriatcd island on the
surface Of the seas, Mr.. Manager Boutwell,,
more ambitious, had discovered an untenant
ed and unapproprated region in the skies, re-
served, he would have us think, in the final
councils of the Almighty, as the place of pun
ishment for convicted and deposed American
Presidents. Uaughter.)
At first thought his mind had become SO
"cnargcd" that it was not sharp" enough TO
observe that the Constitution had limited the
punishment; but on reflection | saw that he
was as legal and as logical as he was ambitious
and astronomical, Qaughter.) for the Consti-
tuition has said removal from Office and has
put no limit to the distance Of the removal
Qaughter) so that it may be without she'd
ding drop of his blood, or taking penny of
his property, or continuing his limbs, instant
removal from office and transportation a1the
skies. (Laughter) Truly, this Is Il great un-
dertaking; and If the learned Manager can
only get over the obstacles of the laws of ma
ture, the Constitution will not stand in his
way. He can cOntriye no method but that of
convulsion Of the earth that shall project
the deposed President to this infinitely dis
tant space; but shock of nature of SO vast an
energy and for so great result on him might
unsettle even the footing ofthe firm members
oftongrcss. We certainly need not resort to
80 perilous method as that. How shall we
accomplish ity Why in the first place, no
body knows where that space is but the learn
cd Manager himself and he Is the necessary
deputy to execute the Judgment of the court.
Iaughter)
Let it then be provided that in case of your
sentence of deposition and renewal from Of
flee the honorable and astronomical Manager
shall take into his own hand the execution of
the sentence. With the President made fast
to his broad and strong shoulders. and. having
already essayed the flight by imagination, bet
ter prepared than anybody else to execute in
torn. taking the advantage of ladders us far
as ladders will go to the top of this great Cap
itol. and spurning then with his foot the crest
Qaughter,) while the two Houses of Congress
and all the people of the United States Shall
shout Sic dar al dstra," (Laughter.)
But here distressing doubt strikes me ;how
will the Manager get backi Laughter.) lie
will have got far beyond the reach of gr,lyita-
ton to restore him, and SO ambitious Il wing
AS his could never stoop to downward flight
Indeed, as he passes through the constella-
tions, that famous question of CARLYLE by
which he derides the littleness of human al
fairs upon the scale OF the measure of the
heavens. p" What thinks Buotes, as he drives
hlsdogs up the zenith in their race of sidereal
freg will force itself on his notice What
indeed, would BTotes think of this new con-
stcllationg Q.aughter)
Besides, reaching this space, beyond the
power of Congress even "to send for persons
and papers" (laughter), how shall he return.
and how decide in the contest there become
personal and perpetual, the struggle of
strength between him and the President! |!
(Laughter.) In this new revolution, thus es-
tablished forever, who shall decide which is
the sun and which is the moon? Who deter
mine the only scientific test which reflects the
hardest upon the other? (Laughtcr.)