The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-10-11
MORNING srA1 Ann SArzoLIc HseGExexR.
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY. OCTOBER II. lsss.
w1r Ann wmDoK.

WA AAO - AOAeS@sa - +' Il.
what is everybody doing ct the aane
timef Growing older.
What can man have in his pocket when
it il emptyf A big hole.
When is . woman's hair like swans
breastf When it's down.
ssI'm losing lesh,n as the butcher said
when he saw q thief robbing his cart.
No man ever offended his conscience, but
first or last, it was revenged upon him for it.
A clearinghouse keeper lately adver-
hsed board for two gentlemen with gas"
The longest line in existence must be the
telegraph line, for it extends from pole to
pole.
A good name will wear out; bad name
may be turned; but a nickname lasts for
ever.
Punch says chimney-sweep should be
good wliist-player, because he is always fol-
lowing SCOT.
Fortune knocks once. at least, at every
mans door. Some men must have been out
when she knocked at theirs.
A husband can readily foot the bills of a
wife who is not afraid of being seen footing
the stockings of her husband.
When Steeptea married his fifth wife he
sent the usual notice to the papers, with the
addition: &C. To be continued"
The difference between male and fe-
male swell is, that the expansion of one is
at the top, the other at the bottom.
1t may be stated as general rule that
persons whose acquaintance it is most diff
cult to make are best worth knowing.
The orator who " carried his audience"
is earnestly and humbly requested to bring
it back, by persons who had friends present.
An eminent artist lately painted a snow
storm so naturally that he caught bad
cold by sitting too near it with his coat off.
What is the difference between a school
master and railroad cOnductorf One
trains the mind and the other minds the
train.
Albert Day was fined ten dollars, in Chi
cago, for following woman he thought
pretty. He must have been the day after
the fair.
Children wouldn't cross their parents so
often when they were grown up, it they
were to cross their parents knees little
oftener when they were little. ----------
Look not mournfully into the past-it
comes not back again. Wisely improve the
PRESENT. is thine. Go forth to meet the
shadowy future without fear, aud with n
manly heart.
"When men break their hearts" remarks
a cynical female writer, it is the same as
when lobster breaks one of its claws-an-
other sprouting Immediately and growing
in its place."
A politician being asked which horn of a
dilemma he should take, desired q while to
consider. In the meantime he proposed to
take horn of whisky, with repetitions
every half-hOur.
The wit deservedly won his bet, who, in
company, when every one was Dragging Of
his tall relations, wagered that he himself
had brother twelve feet high. He had, he
said, two half-brOthers, each measuring six
feet.
The recent marriage, at Buffalo, of Mr..
Deville and Miss Damn, has resulted, after
weeks honeymoon, in the Deville's depar-
ture with $3.50 belonging to his bride, who
is left disconsolate, and spends her time in
repeating her maiden name.
(Which, my dear lady, do you think the
merriest place in the world ~ That i'm
rounds the earth, I should think" g And
why sol" because am told that there
all bodies lose their gravity"
A rapid youth of twenty one was found
steadying himself last night against a lamp
post. On being asked by a policeman what
he was about, he replied "Sir-I (hic) I'm
don't you know you nig,ramus-i'm pract-
cling the Grecian bend; am" He was per-
mitted to finish the exercise at the station
house.
"Peter, what are you doing to that boy 2"
said q schoolmaster. "He wanted to know
if you take ten from seventeen how many
will remain, so took ten of his apples to
show him, and now he wants should give
them back" DWELL, why don't you do it,
then ~ "Coz, sir, he would then forget
how many is left"
A traveller was Boosting of the luxury of
arriving at night after hard days journey,
to partake of the enjoyment of well-cut
ham and the left leg of a goose. Pray,
sir, what is the peculiar luxury of left
legq "Sir, to conceive its luxury, you
must find that it is the only leg that is left,
and that you have no right to it,"
A traveller went into hotel in Western
town, and was going up stairs very travel
stained to change his toilet, when he en-
countered on the second floor an overdressed
and vulgar woman. " Are you the porter q"