The Placer herald., 1868-07-25
PERCIVAL POPPS.
" The greatest fellow living-Yes, Stree


know him would be to argue oues self un-
known. Perhaps you are really SO benighted
as not to know him. Then III describe him,
and the next time you meet him you'll be
sure to meet him--he goes every where,) look
well at him. Satisfy yourself that you know
him, and then say to yourself, That's him"
He is .fXs feet ten inches in height, well
made, rather handsome, sports small black
(dyed) moustache, with the leetlest taste in
life " of an imperial, black curly hair, well
oiled; has br eht, black eyes, and neatly
arched eyebrows; is handsome and seems to
know il! wears the tightest kind Of pants,
the longest kind Of coats, the showiest pat
tern of vests, the talest sort of hats the
brightest of patent feathers, the gay est Of
kids, the largest of jewery, the Dorsey est
Of ties, and-shal | say it-stays; smokes
a DEAL but never chews; sweais 10y Juno,
Jove, Jupiter, Bacchus, Apollo, and all the
other gods and eoddesses in the heathen
mythology calls bat, cady segar,
weed; female, bit Of calico Il horse, a
two,forty, aud so on having, in fact, a
vocabulary of his own. Talks deal Of bis
own doings-his great explois at wine
drinking; his wonderful luck at the last
race his immense success among The fair
sex, and bis excessive popularity among the
"sports;' y always finishing up with, tell
YOU I'm the greatest fellow llviug--yes, sir.
rec ="
Now popps has lady love, a maiden Of
hlushing siXteeu," rejoicing in the name OF
lie Slaire-Josephin lie Stare. Pops car
Ties Der miniature next his heart-that Is,
next the place where his heart is supposed to
be; for in my opinion, it is a question
whether PercisaI popps has got such an ar
lce AT all. Popps sometimes gets into a
fix, doing the amiabe to bis cher anele
Once Pops took Miss Joey to the 'heare-
twas to see Romeo and Juliet" play
written, as Percva informed Miss lie St>ire,
by man named Shakespeare, that lived
so,new here in England, aud wrote plays and
such thiugs. The play was highly interest
ing, especially the balcony scene, so much so
that Percival became utel y unconscious OF
all that was going on around him, save the
lovers On the stage, and The Juliet 10y bis side.
The piece over, PopFs thought he'd try a
little Romeo-ing bimself so while the farce
Taken in and Done For" was enactng, be
talked sweet things to Miss Joey. The farce
through, they arose to 60.
Where's NY bat ~ says Percival He
looked under The seat, behind the seat, on
the seat, all around the seat, then all AROUND
dozen seats. "Where the DEVILS my bat
Gone gone !. gone !" The horrible fact
stared hm 10 the face. While he was in'
lentIy gazing on the scenes before him, an
interesting hlle scene was enactlng behind
him. seedy individual bad taken seat in
bis rear, and seizing favorable opportunity
bed seized bis hat, put it Oh his head, and
placing dis opera cap in his pocket, "vamoos
ed the ran,he' Popps didn't know what to
do he couIdu't escort his ducky" home 10
bis bare head Ii was too late to procure
auotb er cady, SO leaving the side Of Miss
Joey, he went outside to mediate, aud after
full bali min ute's cogi'a.ion, he determined,
in despair, to make an inglorious flight and
leave bis deary to get home the best way she
could. She placed herself under the pro
tection Of gentleman who sat near her, aud
all the way home she made ierclvaFs char
acler suffer some. Fortunately for Popps
the gentleman was a married one, or the
greatest fellow living" would stand a poor
chance with his outraged maiden. AS ii
was, she determined nevermore to speak to
the low, mean ignorant, conceited fool.
But all tbirgs must change, and if woman's
love is chaDgeabe, we have the consolation
of knowing that her hate is yet mole so.
Twas December, drear, cold, merry Decem-
ber the mouth Of terror to the poor, be-
cause Of its binding blasts; of joy to the
wealthy, because Of its gay pleasures. Well,
it was December! The young Sports "
fancy dress ball was to take place upon
Christmas eve night. Popps belonged to
the Young Sports of course he did-tor he
was the greatest fellow living. Yes, sir-ree.
Here would be good chance to enter cpce
more into Miss Joey's good graces. Popps
made up" in bis best style, put on few
extra fixins. and sailed forth to see The OBJ
ject of his anxiety. Up the Bowery he goes
At the corner of Grand street he met Bob
Reeves. "Helo Bob - Hello yourself,
Popps. Where are you bound for?' Lets
drop in here and take a smile, and III tell
you all about it,"
The two "sporls" dropped in, not through
| the street door, and smiled, and smiled again.
Perciyal then related bis unfortunate taua
pas--or as Terrence REILLY has it, fore'paws,
aud the tale sppertainipg thereto, they inn
bibing the while rather freely, until Popps
began to feel hilarious. :" tell you lm the
greatest fellow living, Yes Stree and I'm
Just agoipg to make this business all square.
Come, sing out. Two whisky punches ).
Yes sr.ree: I'm the greatest fellow living.
Why don't you drink! Hello, where's my
nnnch 2" "You've drank it!' Fill it
scaiu then-what's the use of sighing? J
tsll you I'm the greatest fellow living"
This last was addressed to the bar tender,
TO whom he now commenced relating bis
adventures. By the time they left the
saloon, Popps felt rather confused. he
couldn't exactly tell which way was up
town. and which down town; nor could ne
49, liz oath vha,her be was standing on bis