The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1868-07-24
linn Wolfe and The Tom cats.
EY MARX TWAIN.

knew by the sympathetic glow upon
his bald head knew by the thonSht'
fnI look upon his iace-l knew by the
emotional flush upon the strawberry on
IN. end of the old free livor's nose, that
Simon Wheeler's memory was busy
with the olden time. And So prepar-
ed to leave, because all these were
SYMPTOMS of reminiscence-sl&ns that
lie was going to be delivered OF another
of his tiresome personal experiences
but | was too slow; he got the start OF
me. As nearly as l can rccollect, the
iutiction was cOuched in the following
language:
1--WE was all boys, then, and Didn't
care for nothing only how to shirk
school and keep q revivin' state OF dew
ilment all the time. Thish var jim
Wolfe | was talking about, was the
prentice, and he was the best hearted
teller, he was, and the most fOrgivln'
and unscliish, | ever scen-wcll, there
couldn't be 4 more bullilier boy than
what he was, take him how you would;
and sorry enough / was when seen
him for the last time.
"Me and Henry was always Fostering
him and plastering boss bills on his
back and putting bumhle.bees i'll his
bed, and so on, and sometimes we'd
crowd in and bunk with him, nOtwith-
standing his growing, and then we'd
let OH to get mad and fight across him,
so as to keep him stirred up like. lie
was nineteenth, he was, and long and
lank and bashful, and we was fifteen
and sixteen, and toleTably lazy and
worthless.
80 that night, you know, that my
sister Mary gave the candy pulllh
thew started us off to bed early, so rs
the company could have full swing,
and we ruug on Jim to have some fun.
"Our window looked ont onto the
roof of the ell, and about 10 o'clock q
couple of old tom cats got torarin' and
chargiu' around on it and carryin' on
like sin. There was four inches OF
snow on the roof, and it was frOze so
that there was right smart crust OF ice
on it, and the moon was Shinln' bright,
and we could soc them cats like day
light. First, they'd stand Off and
e-yow-e-yow, just the same as II they
was cussin' one another. you know, and
bow up their backs and bash up their
tails, aud swell around and spit, and
then all of a sudden the gray cat he'd
snatch q handful of fur Off the yaller
cats ham, and spin him around like
the button on barn door. But the
yallar cat was game, and he'd come and
olinch, and the way they'd gouge, and
bite and howl, and the way the'd make
the fur fly was powerful.
We'll, Jim he got disgusted with the
row, and lowed he'd climb out there
and shake 'em off'n that roof. He hadn't
RELY no notion of doin' it, likely, but
we everlastiBgly logged him and bul-
dragged him, and lowed he'd al
ways Dragged how he wouldn't take
dare, and so on, till bimeby he histcd
up the winder, and, and 10 and behold
you, he went-went just as he was
nothin' on but shirt, aud it was short
You ought to q seen him q cree-apin
over that ice, and, aud diggin' his toe
nails aud his finger nails in for to keep
him from slippin'; and above ali, you
ought to a seen that shirt q ilappin' in
the wind, and them long, ridiculous
shanks of his'n glistcnin' in the moon
light.
Then comp'ny folks was down there
under the caves, the whole squad of 'em
under that emery shed of dead Wash'tOn
Bower vines-all Sctt'n round about two
dozen Sasars of hot candy, which they
sot in the snow To cool. And they was
laffiin' and talkin lively; but bless you,
they didn't know nothing about the
panorama that was gOiu' ON over their
heads. Well, Jim, he went n sneakin'
and sneakin' up, Onbcknowns to them
tom cats-they was a swiShu' their
tails and yow-yOwiu' a.d thrcatnin' TO
clinch, you know, and not payin' any
attention, hG went 4 sncakin and a
sneakin' right up To the comb
Of the roof, till he was in al
foot an half of 'em, aud then all of
sudden he made grab for the yaier
cat! But, by gosh, he missed fire aud
slipped his holt, an his heels flew up
an he Topped onto his back and Hil7E
that roof like dart went a smashin'
and a crashin' down through them old
center of all them comp'ny people-set
down like yarth quake III them two
dozen sassars of rea-hot candy, and let
off q howl that was bark from the
tomb!
Them SlrlS-Weli, they lett, You
know. They seen he warn't dressed for
company, and so they left. All done in
q second; it was 5nst one little war
whoop, aud q whish of their dresses,
and blame the wcHch of 'em was i'm !
sight anywhere!
Jim, he was in sight! He was
gormed with the bilin hot molassos can
dy clean down to his heels, and had
mere busted sassers hangin' to him than
if he was Japan princess-and he
came a prancin' up the stairs lust
whoopin' and q cussin' and every lump
he give he'd shed some china, and every
squirm he fetched he driPped some can.
dy.
"And blistered! Why; bless your
soul, that poor creature couldn't RELY
set down comfortably for as much as
four weeks"