Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-07-31

'Nf-' A'A"NNt a chlt Nv u Ill lluGeG. anu
not PIT either, so much ez it wuz a swamp
or bog, with only here and there dry spot.
1t Wuz not ez cheerful a lookin place ez yoo
Good think Nv. 1t wuz full NV skulls and
dead mems bones. The highways leadin
into IT were slusby and nasty. and an odor
ez Nv seven hundred thousand million dead
cats constantly assended to vex the pure air
above 1t wuz inhabited, it wuz RolHn
about IN the corrupshun, saw the face Nv
every Demokrat had ever seen, and they
Wuz all about their yoosual ayocashens, too
ben. Wood wuz a selin lottery tickets. Fer
mandy he'd his hand into city treasury. A.
johnson wuz signin a pardon for a eoun-
terlelter tanother counterfeiter, who wanted
The skill OF the inkarserated one, wuz a
waltIn to carry it to him, a immense con-
course uv Johu Morrissey'a enostitooents
were organizln raid onto niger orfan asy-
lums, and another immense mass wuz a
burnlshin weapons ez if for another conAick
with suthin. Rite back NV this place wuz a
precipice risin up almost perpendicular
many feet, on the top NV which stretched
a most beautiful prospeck, asked one who
was crawlin out NV the place what it all
meant, and he replied thatit wuz the restin
place Nv the Dimocrisy.
Look - said be, 'aboutyoo Seest VOC
that elevated breezy plain? That the cho-
son home Nv Republikenism up there, and
| IN goin for it. +"
But stay!" sed 1, Il fain would know
more. Who's that ?" asked, ez a body
come shootin down the abyss, boundin plum
into a most friteful mass NV corrupshen be-
low.
That's Ross, Nv Kansas, sed he
Look out, here comes Henderson, too. and
Fowler Ha ha - laffed this oscapin one,
ez he saw Ross and Henderson scramble
out Nv the dirt, with it stiekin to EN- and
try to crawl up the side Nv the precipice.
Fowler seemed to like it, and settled down
as though he intended to stay. There we're
others who got so close to the verge Of the
precipioe that | reely trembled for EN-, but
they had strong hands holden of EN- back.
"Yoo notis that there is one way NV com
municashen between the two places, sed
he, ''wich is legitimit Yoo observe that
ladder?''
u hedn't, but l do now. My eyes is
dim, sed l, wat is them inscripshens on
the rounds p
They are inscribed as follows:
No. 1.-THE highest) Conservatism. "
No. 2-"Constitooshncl Doubts.
No. 3-"Southern Rites.
No 4-"Greenbax.
No 5-''Repoodiashen. -
No. "Ameriky for white men.
No. Afrikin slavery
Yoo will observe the last one is partly
under the slush which kivers the bottom Nv
the plain. It's a trihe lower than the orig
inal level. But look theirs suthin goin
on up there See
Trooly, there wuz suthin goin on.
Cheef Justice Chase appeared at the head
Nv the stairs on the very brink Nv the prec-
= 80 F" ~, ~ - r;--,;a.;1 ,tF2~t;,, p, ~, I;,; -
stay, wuz Theodore Tllton, Horace Greeley,
and moren a million of others. white and
black, who wuz a holdin up their hands in
horror at the way his face wuz turned. The
Chief Justice wuz a assurin Nv em it was all
rite, that he shoOd probably go down to the
first round, wich wuz Conservatism, as
he considered if safer ground. Theodore
grabbed him by the sholder, to restrane him,
but Salmon showed him off roodly, and put
his foot on the first round.
looked closer and saw it all at a glance.
August Belmont he'd climbed up so ez to be
in site Nv any one standing on that round,
and wuz wavin a flag at him onto wich wuz
inscribed "nominashen" S. p he'd his
venerable eyes fixed onto that, and didn't
see nothin else, kind Nv parshel blindness
wich hez rooined quite many public men.
Don't 90 to EN-, cried Theodore and NOR
ris. II won't " returned the cheerful old
innocent I'm bring EN- up to me. In
fooriated with the site NV that flag wich Bel
mont kept artfully movin afore him, he
quickly dropt onto the second step, and the
next, each step being longer than the one
precedin it. By this time the attenshen Nv
the Democrisy below wuz attractad toward
the spectacle, and they checred Justify, not so
much at the prospeck nv gettin the eminent
Judge, ez at the sorror and chagrin depict
ed onto the faces NV Greely, Tilton, ct al,
at the top.
Down he went, amid the plaudits Nv the
Democrisy, who, by this time, was all hur-
rahin for him, step by step, till he come TO
the last one. 'Come!'' said Boregard,
Forrest Fernandy Wood and Vallandygum,
''come One step more-one little tiny
step, and its over. Come, love, come!"
,'Nol" he, tremblin like man with the
ager II can't go that step. l can't, in
deed can't. Come up to me-yoo must!
"Well, sed Belmont, its better for us
to stand on that last step. Get hold, Mar
bic, aud the strongest Nv 700, and lift the
concern out Nv the mire, and up to the
Choef Justis. Take hold close Now ! all
together with a will ~
They tugged and tugged, but to no pur,
pose, Pendleton, Hendricks, and score uy
others, who didn't like this Chase biznis,
he'd slipped down to the bottom, and waz Z
pullin back. Once or twict they got EN- out
so ez yoo Good see the heads Nv the multi
TODD above the liquid they wuz under, and q
few late recroots climed up onto the step.
but the weight wus too heavy, and they sag
ged back.
"Onct more p shreekt the Cheef Justis.
One more trial. Oh git them on this step
Oh git them up, for can so no lower, in