Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1868-03-21
Rules for Counting.
BY John QUILL

Having had much experience in The
science Of Courting, | have determined
herewith 10 lay down some definite rules
for the guidance of my young friends" )"
You see had good many unsuccessful
courts before met my wife-lhe females
whom loved having gone emphsllcslly
hack on me. But, bless you, did il harm
me No, it didn't. | was benefited
thereby, and when | met my wife | knew
The ropes, and gathered up my affections,
made one fell swoop on her heart. and
The door thereof banged wide open and
let lie in. | will give you the rules and
shed The sunny light Of illustration upon
them from my own life
Isl. Never 90 coUrting the girls pa
rents. You'd better edge up to the char
mer at once; for you can't marry her if
you don'itry, unless she wants you, and
you may be able 10, even if the old foks
are hard on you.
I'd. By ell means get the girls ma
down on you as much as possible. If
the old lady is always blowing against
you, the little dear begins 10 take your
part. and can't bel lp loving you.
did this way, and my present mother
in.lsw used 10 throw brooms and wash
boards at me, and teach the dog 10 bite
me in the trowsers as ] climed over the
fence.
3rd. If you see any others proving a.
bout, always euchre them if you can. II
one of them buy tickts for concert,
60 up and make an engagement with her
and get your tickets afterwards, but when
they yis! the house always act as il you
were at home, and they were only visit
ors, and never leave first.
4h. If the old man has worldly wealth
express a dislike 10 greenbacks, and a
hankering after love in a small house.
5h. II you are long in the parIor, you
may sometimes try if your arms fl well
on her waist.
tried this once, and called forth a
piercing scream, which induced her big
pap and two brothers 10 chuck me down
the stairs. So you be careful.
9th. When you inquire if she will have
you, don'I fall on your knees. 1t is IL
dculous, besides being rough on irows-
ers. Just take her hand aud speak out
like man.
behaved similarly to this 10 female,
and said 10 her:
"Will you be mine p
She replied rather abruptly,
mot much, won't ~
It's likely she was little ijmiG, but
did not care about pursuing The subject
any further.
7lh. When you are engaged, don go
of like an old jackass and begin buying
teaspoons and washbolers, and candles.
1t is very unwise, and exsiles comment,
sh. If girl refuses you, don't give 1t,
up, but try again. Because two mega
llyes make one affirmative in grammar,
don't consider yourself accepted when a
girl jilIs you twice.
asked one female GOrly.one times. and
at last she got 10 expect it whenever |
came, and would sometimes holler out
mo" from The top of lhe stair, before
got fairly inlo the house.
9th. Kiss oil the children in house,
even if they are dirty, and smear molas-
ses candy in your hair. Let the boy
play horse with you and make fool OF
you generally. This always works. It's
trump card il you play it right.
10th. And, finally, if there are Nv"
sisters, and the old one is jealous, get some
one to choke her off, while you 60 in for
the younger.
did that once, and used to get friend
TO ask the senior out for the evening, but
she found me out, and used TO arrange
her hsirpins 10 The sofa cushions before
she went out, so that il was extremely
uncomfortable.
Thus it will be seen lhst when court
ship is alluded to, am right there. II
any further information is wanted, send
me letter enclosing fifty cents, and
p III rhePrfully Give A.