Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-02-21
Things wise s. Otherwise.

hhh&S w hSS N NSSLueTwl8e.
Aheart full of grace 10 better than q
head full of notions.
Natural artists. Hewers of wood and
drawers of watet.
The most beautiful bonds OF wedlock
---five-twenties.
A Cleveland cat recently died which
was known to be twenty eight years
old.
It takes two men one hour to wind
up the Trinity Church New York)
clock
tomatoes are nearly ripe IN Florida,
and peach trees are In bloom:
Theodore Tilton's salary MS editor OF
the Independent, has been advanced
from $500 to $1,000.
Has she call to be wife to whom
husbatids sccisty II not the greatest or
earthly blessingss
Advice, like snow, the softer it falls,
the longer it dwells. upon and tho deep-
er 1t sinks into the mind.
Lawyers have to invent SO many cx-
cuses for crime In others, that they
soon learn to pardon IL In themselves.
!. tt Is thought that Adam must havo
entered the garden In the Spring.
However that may be, he came out IN
the fall.
It Is not the work that kills men, it
IL the worry. IL Is not the revolution
that destroys the machinery, but tho
friction.
Heaven sends us ten thousand truths.
but because our doors and windows are
shut to them, they sit and sing awhile
Upon the root, and then fly away.
a "Are you still M the land OF the Nv
mg?" inquired man ofan aged frleiid.
"No, but I am going there.n This
world Is the shadow; heaven Is the re-
ality.
IA man who'll maliciously set fire
to barn." said Mr.. Slow, i'and burn
up twenty cows, ought to be kicked To
death by u iackuss, sud WOULD like to
do it;''
Some one tells the story Of steam.
boat passenger seeing a revolving light
of lighthouse on the coast, and ex-
claiming Gosh the wind blows that
light out as fast as the man can strike
it.n
A girl presented herself for n situa-
tion at house where no Irish need
apply In answer to the question where
she came from said: "Sure, couldn't
ye persave by me accint that It's Frlnch
/ ain ?'
A western paper advertlses thus:
Run AwAY.--A hired man named
John; his nose turned up Ave feet
eight inches high, and had on pair of
corduroy pants much worn.
How that nose must have locked
dressed up in corduroy pants.
Fred. Douglass says the colored peo-
pie or this coul.try must demonstrate
their capabilities, and men connot then
withhold frorii them the respect whicli
they viii have shown TO be their due.
But III within the next fifteen wears
they have not fully demonstrated this.
they will be unworthy Of their free
don't
A fellow, on being ,asked TO write n
testimonial for q patent clothes wiring
er. produced the following: II bought
your clothes wfinger and am immense
iy pleased with IL. / bought lag OF
wood which proved to be green aud un-
mt TO burn. j run the whole load thro'
your clothes wrlnger, and have used
the wood for kindling ever since''
There Is an ugly kind of forgiveness
In this world-a Kind Of hedgehog for
giveness, shot out like quils. Men
take one who has offended, and set him
down before the blow pipe Of their in
dlgnation, and search him, and burn
his fault into him, and when they have
kneaded him sufficiently with their
hrey fists, then they forgive him.
I I'm reply to Mr.. Doolittle's attack on
General Grant, Senator Nye told the
story OF the attack on celebrated New
/ England Clergyman, who met his accu-
sers by asking them If they ever seen a
dog barking at the moon. "Oh, yes,u
they answered with o sneer "WeiI.
now, my friends, please tell ME IL you
ever heard ofa dog getting near enough
to the moon 10 bite ksn
/ At a theatre, recently. gentfririan
felt the pressure OF two little fairy feet
upon his patent feathers. At first the
sensation was delightful. IL made in.
expressibly delightful thrills pass
through his body: but these sensations
\ wore away, and the pressure began to
feel the least bit uncomfortable. MA.
dam !" he gently suggested, "You are
standing on my feet" ''Your feet
sir" Yes, madam Goodness | /
beg your pardon, sir. thought was
standing on a block OF wood--they are
quite large, SIR ~ Quite-51t yoa cog
Ix1..s Jn... Ill 3