The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-10-10
VARIETY.

/ Note by poliecman-A Quaker Is seldom taker
into custody, and never eollared.
BE neat without gaudiness, genteel without af
fectatiOn for suit that fits the character - mOr'
In mode than that which sits well on the body
Shoot Folly as she fies-Pope'' was set uI
by stupid printer, - Shoot Polly as she flies
pop"
- None but the brave deserve the fair No
and none but the brGUe can live with some o
them.
\ elrpcntcr took holiday, and went TO Glou'
cester. When he returned home, his friends ask
ed him what lie -aw. why, =" he replied, :. saw
the sea, and now I see tile saw.'
Why il n Bruisar's fst like boil? Because
it comes to a head
The sObriquet Of Macon, Ga, il .'pug nose. -
Blind Tom has not made hit in Paris.-To be
blind, black and bore is certainly hard fate.
The Portland Press thinks \. VI. W. Ball. Oi
"RDck me to Sleep nOtOriety, should be called,
- Base Ball.
What will happen" asks London penny-a-
liner, - when water dress girls wear waterfalls ??
Punch indulges in these
80 TIE loudest thing gDing-bugle trimming -
- Comfort for the blanch haired ladies-whOm
We gods 1--we dye young"
The Mayors Court of Mobile is called by pa
per in that city - popular Summer resort"
Emerson finely say- - The poor are only
ing poor
NIrs. Yell lately cowhided Mr.. Lay for not per-
forming promise tO marry her.-As he wOul In Z
make her Lay she made him yell.
popular writer says the ladies rather take to
terrible people; prize fighters, pirates, highway
men, Grand Turks and Bluebeards generally have
a fascination for the fair sex.
A story Is told Of young man who was going
west to set up jewelry store. When asked
what capital he had, he replied, a. n crowbar."
Why Is the tollng of bell like the prayer Oft
hypOcrite? Because it Is a solemn sound by u
thOugbtless tongue.
=. Look well before YOU leap IL very good adj
vice in its way, but how can sickly looking people
follow it?
When person declares .. that bis brain is on
fire. it is etiquette to blow it out?
Sister,. Look here Charlie, supposng YOU
had twenty sugar piuIns, and you wanted u di-
vide them in four parts. You give five to baby
and five 20 Carrie, now what would you do with
the other ten? Sweet child. suck en-
Parson Green, an American preacher, in the
habit sometimes of drawing upon n box of ser
mons bcqucathcd him by his father, who was also
n minister, upon one occasion got hold of 4 ser
mon, by mistake, which the old gentleman had
once preached to the State Prison eOnvicts. 1t
opened we'll. and the congregation were becoming
deeply interested, when all at once the parsOn
surprised them with the information that 80 had it
one of them would have been hanged long time
ago"
What should a man do when his boots leak ?
Take to his pumps of course.
\ Sunday-school teacher, dcplprcd the lack Of
attendants, to the few present. What can dO To
get the boys and girls here? / know said one of
the urchins. What j. it, - Give en- all five
cents apiece
josh BiIIinSs, in his advice to young lady as
how she shall receive a proposal, SAYS I" You
ought tew take IL kind, looking down hill with an
cxpressun about hali-ticklcd and half scarf. AT
ter the pop IL over, il yurc luvycr wants To kiss
you, LdaP4 think would say YES or NO, but let
the thing kind ov take it's own kpurse. -
\ Quaker Indy recently explained to her new
Day. The girl Left in high dudecon. She didn't
go to be washing every day. Not she.
When Gen. Bragg entered Kentucky ut the
head Of what he had reason to believe n victorious
hos, he said To a brother officer: :. vsHi. ridi
rici." When be came out, it was rice uers (ah ,
\ st. Louis correspondent encloses the following
telegram, sent from New York few days since to
the " estcru press:
81 DIR. Cheeyer las been sold 10 Tiffany & Co,
whp will erect stores thereon
The kind Of building to be erected on the Doe
tor j. not stated but we may doubtless expect
something i'm ono Of the two prevailing STYLES Of
American architecture, denominated respectively
by aesthetic friend as the ," painted IrUnic' and
the - open Cathartie 80
\ Scorcu QrEsriox.-Thc Scotch preacher. Er-
skine, once proposed poser to j Tccrcant brother,
n blacksmith. Erskinc determined 20 silence him.
The conversation proceeded as follows.
Walter simpson,
- Here, sir says Walter. - Are you wanting
mop
- Attention, sir, Now, Walter, can you tell
me how long Adam stood in a state of innocence -
Aye, till he got a wife, instantly replied the
anvil hammerer. - But can you tell me how long
he stood after2''
- Sit down, Walter said the discomfitcd di-
vine.