davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
The Judge and the Quaker.

A judge on journey fell in company
with Quaker. "Sir," said the Judge,
Chow is It that you Quakers always have
fat horses and money in your pockets ?"
Quaker--"By.and.by / viii tell thee"
Shortly after, they arrived at tavern.
The Judge called for glass of bitters,
and urged the Quaker to drink, but he
refused, saying he had no need. He
then called for four quarts Of oats for his
horse, and the Quaker for six for his.
Quaker-''Now l will tell thee we
drink no spirits at the tavern. How
much didst thou pay for the bitters7"
Judge-"Sixpence,"
Q.-"How much for the oats p
J.-"Sixpence"
O. "My oats cost ninepence; and
what good did the btters do thee?"
J.-"They procured me an appetite" :"
Q,-"Abstnence gives me an appetite.
Thus thou seest we spend no more than
thou, and our horses are fat. But have
not done with thee yet. see silver buck
les on thy shoes, How much did they
cost 7"
J,-"Nine dollars"
Q.-"How long hast thou had them ?"
J.-"Eight years."
Q.-"Do they answer any better than
my srngs7"
J.-"No."
Q.-"With nine dollars we should have
bought live stock, and at the expiration of
five years we should have had fifteen head
OF cattle. Here, thou seest, we can have
money in our pocket. Instead of having
silver on our shoes, we wear leather
strings"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
A True Hero.

The city of Marseilles, in France, was
once afflicted with the plague. So terri
BILE was it that 1t caused parents to for
sake children, and children forgot their
obligations to their own parents. The
city became as a desert, and funerarls
were constantly passing through its streets.
Everybody was sad for nobody could
stop the ravages of the plague. The
physicians could do nothing, and as they
met one day to talk over the matter, and
see if something could moi be done to
preyent this gr eat destruction OF life, it
was decided that nothing cou Id be effect.
ed will opening corpse in order to
find out the mysterious character of the
disease. All agreed upon the plan, but
who shall be the victim, il being certain
that he who should make the examinas
tion would certainly die soon after 7
There was dead pause. Suddenly. one
OF the most celebrated physicians, a man
in the prime of life, rose from his seat and
said, "Ee it so | devote myself for the
safety fmy country. Befo re thisnume-
rous assembly | swear, in the name of hu.
manity and religion, that tomorrow
at the break Of day, | will dissect a
corpse, and write down as | proceed
what | observe. He Immediately lett
the room, and spent the night in religious
exercises. During the day a man had
died in his house of the plague, and at
day-break on the following morning, the
physician whose name was Guyon, enter
ed the room, and critically made the nee,
essary examinations, writGng down all his
surgical observations. He then left the
room, threw the papers into vase OF vim,
egar, that they might not convey the dis.
ease to another, and retired to a conve.
nient place where he died in twelve
hours. Was not this true hero
While we all admire the bravery which
appears on the battlefield, let us not for
get that there is an opportunity for The
heroic in other places as well.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

In tho somewhat sam0us case of Bod
gems will, which was tried in the Sup
reme'Court some ears ago, Mr.. Webster
appeared as council for the appellant.
Mrs, Grccnough, wife Of the Rev. VIM
Greenough, late of Weston-a tall, straight,
queenly looking woman, with keen,
black eye-a woman Of great self posess-
ion and decision OF character was called
to the stand as witness on the opposite
side. Mr. Webster, nj glance, had the
sagacity to foresee that her testim ony, if
it contained anything of Importance,
would have great weight with the court
and jury. He, therefore, resolved, ifpos.
isble, to break her up. And when she
answered TO the first question put TO her,
l believe Mr.. Webster roarcd out, "We
don't want to hear what you believe; we
want TO hear what you knowl Mrs.
Greenough replied "That- just what l
was about to say sir" and went Oh with
her testimony And not withstandiug his
repeated efforts to discomfort her, she pur-
sued the even tenor of her way till Web
ster, quite fearful of the result, arose, ap.
parenily in great agitation, and dra wing
out his large snuff box, thrust his finger
to the very bottom, and carrying the deep
pinch 10 both nostIils, drew it up with a
gusto and then extracting from his pock-
ct very large handkerchief he blew his
nose with report that rang through the
hall, and then asked =" Mrs. Greenough,
was Mrs. Bodgen neat woman :" Mrs.
g." ! cannot give you very full inforr
nation as to that, sir she had oha very
dirty trick" Mr.. W,-"What was that
ma'am'" Mrs. G,-"She took snuff"
The roar in the court house was such
that the defender of the Constitution subs
sided, and neither rose nor spoke again
till Mrs. Greenough had vacated her
chair for another witness, having ample
time to reflect on the ingloriou state of the
man who had stone thrown upon his
head by n woman.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
The CapIlal Dome.

The dome of the capitol at Washington
Is the most ambitious structure in Ameri,
ca. 1t is los feet higher than the Wash.
ington Monument at Baltimore, 6S feet
higher than that of Bunker Hill, and 23
feet highet than the Trinity Church spre
of New York. 1t is the only considerable
dome of iron in the world. II is a vast
hollow sphere Of iron, weighing 5000, 900
pounds. How much is that2 More than
1000 tons, or about the weight of SO,-
900 full grown people; or about equal TO
1000 laden coal cars, which holding four
tons apiece would reach two miles and a
half. Directly over your head is figure
in bronze. "America," weighing IA, 9s5
pounds. The pressure of the iron dome
upon its piers and pillars is 13, AT pounds
TO the square foot. St, Peters presses
nearly 10000 pounds more TO the square
foot, and st. Gcncvieve, at Paris, &C..
900 pounds more. 1t would require to
crush the supports Of our dome, a pres
sure OF 175, 2SO pounds to the square foot.
The cost was about 81, 100000. The
ncw wings cost oboll $500, 900. The
architect has a plan for rebuilding the
OIL central part OF the capitol. and en-
lareing the park, which will cost about
S3,200,000.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
Beauty and Brains.

Men do not care for brains in excess in
woman. They like sympathetic intel,
lect, which can follow them ,and prize their
thoughts as quickly as they are uttered,
but they do not care for any clear or spec.
lal knowlegde of facts and even the most
philosophic among them would rather not
be set right in classical quotation, as
Economical calculation, or the exact bears
ing of political question by lovely bcs
ing in tarlatane whom he was graciously
unbending to instruct. Neither do they
want anything very strong minded. To
most men indeed, the feminine strong
mindedness that can discuss immortal
problems without blnshing, and despise re-
ligious observances as useful only to weak
souls, is quality as unwomanly as well
developed bicepts or a huge fist would be,
1t is sympathy, not antagonism it is com,
panionship, not rivelary, still less suprema-
cy, that they like in women; and some
women with brains as well as learning-for
they are not the same thing understand
this, and keep their blue stockings well
covered by their petticoats. Ball rooms
and dining tables ara the two places where
certain women most shine. In the ball
room Hope is the queen, and has it all
her own way, without fear of rivals, save
such as are of her own class. A few men
who care for dancing for its own sake
will certainly dance with Hectate .ifshe
is.light on hand, keeps accurate time, and
manages her feet with scientific precision; /;
but to the ruck of youths, Hebe, who
jerks herself into step every second round,
but whose lovely face and:pelfect figure
make up for everything, is the partner
they beseige. Only TO those exceptional
few who regard dancing as serious art
would she be a bore, with her three
jumps and hop, while Hectate, waltz
ing like an angel, would be divine, in
spite OF her high cheekbones and light
eyes, a ReW de tete. But at dinner table.
where man likes to talk between the
dishes, a symphetic listner, if not abso-
!utely frightf'l, and with pleasant man.
ners, to when he can air his stalest stu.
ries and recount his personal expericn.
ces, is preferable to the prettiest girl, il IA
simpleton, and able only to show her
small white teeth in silly smile, and say
'yes," and ''iDdeed," in the wrong place
The ball room may be taken to repre-
sent youth, and the dinner table maturity
The one is the apotheosis of mere beauty,
in clouds Of white muslin and a heaven of
flirting the other is solid enjoyment with
brains to talk to and beauty to look at, in
just the proportion that makes life perfect.
For admiration, and personal love, and
youthful enjoyment, beauty, of course, j.
supreme but, as we cannot be Away
young or always apt for pleasure, it is as
well to provide for the days when the.
daughters of music shall be brough. low
and the years draw nigh which have ne
pleasure in them.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

How to Cure Cancer. The following
statement, from the Milwaukee Free
Democrat, was published in number Of
papers some years ago An old man, a
member of my congregation, had can.
Ger on his face, Just under his left eye,
Seeing this statement, by the advice of
two physicians, he made the experiment,
and has now been, for some four years,
perfectly well, Another person hearing
Of this, used it with the same result.
send ii to you for republication, for the
benefit of others:
Some eight months ago, Mr.. +. b. Mas
son, whe keeps music store on Wilson's
sin street, and is brother of the we'll
known Lowell Mason, ascertained that
he had cancer on his face, the size of
pea. 1t was cut out by DR.. Walcolt,
and the wound partly healed Subse-
qnently it grew again, and while he was
at Cincinnati on business, it attained the
size of hickory nut. He remained
there since Christmas under treatment,
and Is now perfectly cured. The process
is this: A piece Of sticking plaster was pu,
over the cancer, with circular piece cut
out of the center little larger than the
cancer and a small circular rim of heal.
thy skin next to it was exposed. Then
plaster made of chloride of zinc, blood
root, and wheat flour, was spread on
piece of muslin the size of the circular
opening, and applied to the cancer for
twenty -four hours. On removing It, the
cancer will be found to be burnt into. and
appear nf the color AMI hardness of an old
shoe sole, and the circular rim outside of
1t will appear white and parboled, as il
scalded by hot steam. The wouni Is now
dressed, and the outside rim soon scpar-
ates, and the cancer comes out in hard
lump, and the place heals up The plas-
ter kills the cancer,so that it sloughs out
like dead hash, and never grows again.
The remedy was discovered by DR.. Fell
Of London, and has been used by him for
six or eight years, with unfailing success
and not case has been known of the re-
appearance of the cancer when this rem
edy has been applied.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

Rev. E II. Thwing recently delivered
an eloquent temperance address in Quincy,
in the course Of which he used the follow
ing thrilling illustration. Said he 1t is
sometimes said, "Rum never hurts those
who let it alone" Go stand tonight
beneath this waning moon, on the souih~
westerly slopes of Mount Auburn, and
you will see little new made grave.
"Over il bend the branches of n walnut
tree, through which the struggling moon
beams reveal the resting place of our lat
est born and earliest taken. 1t is sweet
with flowers and tears, and consecrated by
prayer and psalm Autumn shower.
have stepped the 50 |, yet by the cutting
of the spades the stranger sees it is the
grave of child.
"When | go TO the little grave, cannot
he lp feeling new conservation TO this no
BILE reform. Do you ask why Stare net
when | speak out my heart: Rum helped
to dig my Joys's gdrel Indirectly, per
haps, bat really. Yes ! Intoxicating drink
stole away the senses of one who was in
charge of these two little brothers while
their parents were absent at the death>bed
of a mother.
"Deserting her charge, she wandered
about, incoherenily talking of unfulflled
duties, and left them without food or
drink, conpanionship or care, IIalfslarv,
ed and chilled, the little convalescent
soon relapsed, and passed away, ere long,
to the safer custody of Christ above.
81 have no curses to pour on any hu-
man being, however deeply he may have
Sim d but on tho traffic which cannot
only stultify man, but hesot woman
which puts property in peril, and renders
life insccare-upon that heap my hot
test hate by all the love bore to thai
child, by all | bore to others just as pre-
cious, by all that is high and holy, vow
against this trade eternal war."-Bostoa
Nation.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
A Fearful story of Crime and d..
pravity.

George lln-Icy, alas Wash. Stewart,
Of Walker county, Texas, has confessed
that he murdered on the 18th ultmD. at
Cahonn's Ferry, Charles Hall, Gerry
NAM his wife, IL stranger named Murry,
and II little girl, sister to Mr. Halls wife.
lie says;
first murdered Charles Hall, while
going from The COW pen to the ferry, half
way down the bank of the river, with II
large hickory stick His wife, attracted
ly the noise, ran to his assistance, and
met the same fate rs her husband. | than
dragged bylh bodies into the river and
started up the bank toward the house,
and WAS mt by stranger, who asked
me if Mr.. Hall WIS AT home, and if he
could get some water. ! drew for him
the waIer and while he was drink
ing, struck him on the head with the same
stick. then wcnt into the house, and
the little girl asked tie where her sister
and Mr.. Hall were. told her they were
at the ferry, and while she was going in
that direction, ut the corner of the stable,
] also struck her with the same stick, and
she fell dead. then threw the stick uns
der the house, returned to where | had
killed tie stranger, threw him into the
well, carried the little girl over, and threw
her IN also.
then robbed the house of everything
worth carrying away-money, tobacco,
ed-clothing, &c then saddled Halls
horse, tied on the tobacco, bedding, &C.,
and started with both Halls and the
strangers horse for my fathers, some
twelve miles distant,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
The Man that Wouldn't Vote.

know him; he happens TO be my
neighbor, he is-that is, | suppose he
would be. But | am little afraid oi
him he won't vote. He lives in self
governing country-that IS, country
where the people govern themselves, and
he is content to let other people govern
him. wish you could see some of them
lie says he don't like the candidates.
swell then vote on the other side"
''But 1 like them stell less" "Then take
the best you can get. If you are stuck
in the mud, you don't wait for dry ground.
You take the best way out, even if it be
muddy onc." ''But l don't like the
way thing. are managed" "Well then.
take hold and help manage them better "
He shrugs his shoulders, I'll tell you
the reason he does so-it is too much
trouble to attend to his duty"
| have met this man before. We were
once together on board vessel there
came gale she sprung a'leak ;-"All
hands TO the pumps!" He did not move
n finger -"Tm only passenger.
"Never mind come to the pumps!"
"But the captain did not handle the
chip well. He ought to have taken in
that topsail hours before !"
enc matter cuIne and pumpl"
''But some of the men are drunk, and
things are all in disorder This is no dis
cipline."
$50 much the more need. Pump"
"No I'm disguised with the whole
thing"
"1'hat docs not help the matter; do
your duty T.
Just then II sail hove in sight, and we
were saved-no thanks to him.
One day house was on fire near ours,
and we were all in danger, He stood
looking on.
GLOW badly things are managed
said he
"No matter, friend, lend hand here
give us a bucket of water" "No !"
"Flelp drag ont that furniture" "No!''
"Nhat will you do ?"
"Well, if they will manage thing,
rightly, will help them"
"Help them! Help us yourself. Why,
man, your barn is in danger !"
"Well, | can't do any good, | may
as well keep still. You see there's mt
discipline, all is in confusion and every.
thing is mismanaged, We ought to have
a better supply of water in this town,
and somebody TO control these men, -
They do as mnci, harm AS good, In
disgusted' -
SO was !. am happy to say his barr
was burned for want of wet blanke,
and few pals of water.
l heard n story once, and a circum
stantia, one, Of the chain of results hung
upon one vote. 1t was startling, O
course, no one knew which vote 1t was
But it was only one. Since that time
have been afraid TO neglect my duty il
that line. SO make ii point to be home
and vote 'rly. If things go wrong, il
shant be my fault, and that is s,m, cjn-
ISOLATION when trout le comes.
Seriously, solcmnly, it is tune when
every m,ns voice and work are needed
on the right side. The greatest dangers ar
those that work in the dark.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

The following, among other absurd
epitaphs, is found in Pewsy churchyard,
Dorsetshire, England;
"Here lies the body of Lady O'Loony,
great niece Of Burke, commonly called
the sublime. She was bland, passionate
and deeply religious; also she painted in
water colors, and sent several pictures to
the exhibition She was first cousin of
Lady Jones. And of such is the kingdom
of heaven.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

. H2 Tree eating was c'rroi IN vest pook-
GO 10 'pl"' HiiIorh,a Where twas planted
and wen C'rei I'r ana IN Iour years bore 20
,a...'f[..,., j.. v.....,.,. ~.
III. ,', ,',,;. ~ [o.'n, o,.,,,.,9y,' ~
,.l.;,. H., I,,Ils ,L;Ic ,cII;r., Iis 'yo,, 'sl :.
.I.,....t1 ,.,;i,,,, .i.,. ,,@ '''si 90
,,., ,.',,, i, ,rcrt l,o,.l f,s, ,,,tI, S,6 XXI :,
.,f ,.a, s,, tl.,,l,, cLa,o,i r..n, -
IN r.,., ta,,. ,.ll.n IN ULitn,
az recent '''ai''h ~ lr.sue. " Sie'Ser'
'. l''' ''Aa ."t '.'" l'",' ol e LUheu''ah
''''' v'.'.''''''' No'','''''' % i','oH7
M l.y '". ''0 INV o'"C' "'' a
ii''I iu"-e ""' 'ie }" i'''' Ct "' VIII
''''..7 .i' ''' neA ''v.i "no 'le ~, op-
,n.1,. ..D.t,u.DsB
....-.......,... .r..t. ....i.....
III ,,..s,i '5'iu' I
''.' -. r..' -" 3 si'"e
,I...';t IL a.. ..'I ~ 80 ''H''' J..
ru.. '.ii ~ .., .,.' w., VIZ ''i oUi
.''', ,,.'', '''' ''' "'"''
Ihc l"to Ir, JHu'"ru, HE Scottish leAic)-
= HpIcr, Was VAN oi h7 literary reputation
h.e many others Wh' LuoW not where their
great strength lo', thought im,o't gifted with
'n' ol lHJeHceiuu aolc-'o do everything,
The doeioor published poem entitled ''Etcr-
,cfs.tjonal remagI, .oon Alter pu6lieation at q
marty where Ihc doctor. wa, present. and n ,a-
dy wasasbol her opinion Of II. .lts bonnv
pom. said She. aul it's vecl named .Ctrr.
nifty, it win uc'cr be rcld in tine."
~, n..,o+i... ,..,..l.. ,..... 49,. ......, L..
.I'. .i ''.1 ,I i', 'I'''n' H"' Uh
o.'c '.1 ..'c' no -t.''! oEI'' l'lt ne hal lie
was s."' ~, ~ "'i '""N'' VINO haI haI a
Iu1,Cl wan '7 ".', VINO hai SCARED ms iace
wan ms H"',S p" ."'' ','' FJr man was plee l.
..5 u. anu ''''' "5"Su'''' Aoethethy thought
!a, Il; 'n IlP I,uN5ly uo' 10 nc iost Tor admon
lsnIuS '"G V"'''''' ana se.U' 'Malam' are
you iot aS'''i'' % 'ut'c.l 10 treat your nus
''"'' "i'' 'i- mus ''"' WI" Is .ne hGai OF all
,,nt s.',tcI, ',,. 1,y, L"a1.'i go "''' may
r.,
Hu''hs "Jf N'si' 10 e~ tleri"hd' Queen Vic
chuscd ~ tic railway station 700 francs for a
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

A box containing S25, 1000 of counter,
felt fractional currency was lately sold
from amcng the unclaimed freight of the
Southern express company at Memphis,
Tenn. 1t was shipped from New York IL
Memphis, and sold TO pay the express
charges,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

The latest ship canal project is to unite
Rochfort on the eastern coast of F.ance
and on the Mediterranean. DIR Lesseps
builder of the Suez canal, has the enter
prise in charge and it is said to be iersl.
ble.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

A Missourian named Stephens, while
being baptised with several Others ia the
Platte river, Rochester, suddenly threw
up his arms, fell backwards in the water
aud died almost Instantly.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

The Boston Transcript, which encour-
aged the T. l.. LIS, last year, as much
as it dared now rather ungenerously says:
1.-The two poorest legislatures Massach-
usetts ever had were both elected nnder
the auspices of secret political organiza-
tions.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

fua American COOKING STJFE Is steadily
increasing in sales aud in public favor, notwith
standing the numerous attempts to initiate its
name, as tcsigR amt ta,iWs Improvements,
and to appropriate or detract from rs great
reputation The people soon learn that they
are deceived and swindled by these worthless
limitations, and go back TO the article of stan
dard and we'll known value, aud these mush-
room limitations have their brief existence, and
are heard Of no more, while the American
pursues the even tenor Of its way, and will
continue to do so as longas Stoves continue to
be necessary article Of household furniture.
SHEER, PACKARD & Co., Albany, NY. For
sale by NJ. II. WFL0H, Mdlle5ury. 30;3w
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

MAGN LA WATsR--Suporior to the best I'M
ported German Cologne, and sold at half the
price.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10
SIR join uFRscnELL's STATEMENT.

The land, as we have seen, is perpet.
ually wearing down, and the materials
are being carried out to sea--thinning
towards the land and thickening over all
the bed Of the sea. What must happen
If the continents be lightened, they will
rise; if the bed of the sea receives addit-
ional weight it will sink. 1t is impossible
but that this increase of pressure in some
places, and relief in others, must be un-
equal in their bearings SO that at some
place or other this solid floating crust must
be brought into state of strain, and if
there be n soft or weak place, a crack
will at least take place. When this hap
pens, down goes the land on the heavy
side and up on the light side, This is
exactly what happens in earthquakes.
We should naturally expect that such
cracks and outbreaks would occur along
those lines where the relief of pressure is
the greatest, and also its increase on the
sea side; that is to say, along or in the
neighborhood OF the sea coast, where the
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-11-10

UOnal.
rSrNo paper discontinued until auearages are
paid, except at the option Of the proprietor.
Job Printing Of every kind executed with
neatness and despatch, at the Register Oilice.
4 Orders by mail or otherwise will receive prompt
attention.
s.---------..-.s.---.u,--,
BUSINESS CARDS.
~ T.. ROSS, NJ. D., Surgeon ana
W. Physician. Office nest door TO Ira w.
Clarks Law Office. Room at =, ). Sopefs. 10
q. ANGWORTHY s. BOND, Dealers
IL in Dry Goods Groceries, Read, made Clo-
thng Boot, and Shoes, Gents Furnishing E99p"'
&C., Sc. sU MlDDLEBuRf' W.
N J. BLISS, Dealer in Fancy and
~. Staple Dry Goods, Cloaks, Showis Cor
sets t00p 'N"''' '''''' BRANDON, VT.
nZRO MEACuAM, Dealer in Rca-
" dy Made ClotoiuF Hats, Cap., Trunks,
Valiscs, Furnishing Goods, &c. Bl'ANpoN W.
A. w. JUDD, Manufacturer and
ELa dcalcr in all Kind. Of American and For
cign Marble. Granite Work, Sc. With Norih
Middlcbury Marble Co. 'i'
XXTM. MCBRIDE, Dealer in Grocer
w les. Tobacco and Cigars, Fish, Kerosene
ia IA %''' "' '''' MibplErw, VI
II r. CLAY. Dealer jr Millinery
iili MrnplEBuEN, WI
G c. CHAPMAN, & SON, Dealer
g., B,,. g.,1. TI.,te and (fUa m .r.