Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1868-12-19
Diagnosis of LoVesiokness Laconlc
Courtship.

A Mr. Saunders has been writing an
unusually sensible book on the subject
of marriage, courtship, etc. With
regard to "the pleasing malady of
lovesicknesss," he favors his readers
with some edifylng remarks. His dag
nosis of the attack entities him to the
diploma of doctor:
The concomittants of the disease are
easily discernable, and may be described
rs follows:
Absence of mind, scrupulous exact
ness as to personal appearance, strange
proclivity for lunar observations, IA SEN
tincntal cast Of countenance, loss of ap-
petite, highly nervous exactability, etc.
All the moral faculties and feelings seem
to succumb the absorbing passion. The
case, desperate as it may appear, Is not,
however, beyond the reach of cure !;
the poor sentimental sufferer finds sure
relief in the one specitic-matrimony.
That is the panacea for all the Protean
forms OF this universal complaint which
in its most virulent stags-like typhus
fever-tends to insanity, and plays such
fantastic tricks with our poor human na-
ture.
lie does not dispose of the metaphysics
of the case so easily. Admitting that
it is no less natural TO fall i'll love, that
the custom is not likely to incur the
fate of time-honored usayes which "the
advanced minds Of onr modern civiliza-
ton have demolished" he processes
himself unable TO solve all its mystc-
rics:
Failing in love is a ser:O-comic bust
ness. For instance, student leaves
college, covered with academic honors,
and not stir in his affections, excepting
for his kith and kin, but fair maiden
goes by him on his way and straight
way looses his heart-the victim of a
glance from a sunny face. A learned
physician, apparently lost to all
external things by his abstract studies,
walks out from his study, and his eye is
suddenly arrested by the vision of a
little satin shoe tripping most daintily
along; and this grave embodiment of
severe learning alse made ready cap
tive to Cupid's maneuvres, Again,
redoubtable Son of Mars-full panoplied
for fight and painting only for victori-
Gus fame-enters the gay saloon in a for
eign cline where he meets Spanish
brunette of sixteen summers, who cap
lures his brave heart, and makes it sur
render with Il simple twirl of the fam
Who shall give us 4 mathematical DEM
onstration of the mystery? Cupid is in
deed, casuist-
He is versed in occult science.
In magic and in clairvoyanCe."
The Hibernian was in earnest, if not
in haste, in his love for beauty, when
he told her he could get "no sleep %
nights for dhreamin of her."
Leaving the abstruities of the subject
he indnlges in the relating of some
lively anecdotes, perhaps not all of the
latest brand, which throw light Oh the
ceremony of courtship. Here is one OF
j nameless servant:
A geolosist, once travelling in stage
coach in England, happened to sit oppo-
site lady; glances were exchanged,
and mutual admiration seemed to be
the rcs2lt. Eye language were exchang-
ged for verbal conversation; after few
interchanges about fossils and petrifica-
tions they began to talk about living
subjects, from generalities to specialities
from the third person plural to the
first person singular. Said the gentle
man, 81 am still unmarried; ;" quoath
the lady, $50 am l )" said the former
81 have sometimes thought of marry
ing;" the latter responded, $50 have
l." Then pause ensued. Suppose"
said the gentleman, We were to marry
one anOther-I would love and cherish" !"
81, " SAID the fair one, "would honor and
obey" In two days they were married.
Few will admire such a precipitous