The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-03-22

1 lie ne has 9. poor spirit who is not planted
ABOVE PetSy WTo0ge.a r-,..F, i 49, -
! he that ecodh - tAAcrooksa haa mead ~
very upright hitaaAlhl ,afsiaT.oI,'C1 Il u
To keep ychr vile Ia constant check
aake her dress in ginghann. aioiq En-
Quilp suggests hair pins - the only I sur.
Weyentive of hair falling or ..7' -
The xue way for an army to keep warm
IN WanSer - TO do warm work. "a -t!e,ss -
| To persevere in one's duty and to be al
lent, fs the best answer to calumny.
Can the retaasl Of woman to marry q
man be considered q matrimonial knott
Willis nsed to have his carda engraved
The wish. but not the time for q callv
The moment man is satisfied with him.
self, everybody else IL dissatisfied with him.
! The rule Of the schoolroom which usuallv
| bears the hardest upon the pupils-Ths
fermle.
-MNat, what are you leaning on that empty
cask for" Pm mourning over departed
spirits" -
# your want to measure your length, it is
better to take a yardstick than a treacherous
To ascertain whether bull is mad
Twist his tail, and punch his sides with
pitchfork. - ~,
Man with a carpet bag-"I want to 60 to
the hotel !" Little boy" Well, ], have no
objection"
An old bachelor says that the most diff
cult part of surgery is to take the Jaw out
OF a woman. 4.rI .is
Why is seat Mt the suppcr-tablc like
money bestowed on the poor /? Because it is
a chair at tea.
Why is II flnciful idea entertained by IL
negro like Il certain vocatioI Because it's
Il blacks myth
Somebody defines character as q the only
personal property -whieh-verybedy leeks-
after for you.'
man being asked how old his brother
was, replied: !" In two years we will he of
the same age.' r
When You hear man say q Life is but
dream" tread on his corns and wake him
MP. Life is real.
A Scotchman called upon IL dentist, who
asked him to open his mouth. "Na, ma,
yell bite me, replied he.
The absurdest statement made about the
fire at Barnum's Museum is that the fat wo=-
man had narrow escape.n =
To know Low a bad man win act when
in power, says Montaigne, reverse al1 the
doctrines he breaches when obscure.
What is the difference between persever-
ance and 0bstinacyf The one is q strong
viii, and the other is a strong wont.
Reputation, like hats and cloaks, will last
some people twice as long as others, though
the commodity be of the same thread.
A merchant, while writing to CORE
spondent, died. His clerk added /" After
writing my letter, died this morning.
The celebrated Robert Boyle was desig-
mated by warm eulogist as "the father of
chemistry and brother of the Earl of Cork"
A father, in refusing his only daughter to
a sutton, said No, Sir, if r had q hundred
only daughters, you should not have one of
them" - $50.
A converted German Jew was exhibited
once at Exeter Hall, and after addressing
the audience concluded with /" brethren,
let us bray"
An old woman, who sold corn cheaper
than she bought it, was asked how she could
carry on such trade. "By doing great
deal of it," she replied. Ia.
An Irish Protestant paper once exultant-
ly announced: "Lady - has publicly re-
nounced the errors of the Church of Rome
for those of the Church of England"
A Scotehman asked an Irishnnan "Why
are farthings coined in England 9" Pats
answer was: To give Scotchmen an OPP
portunity of subscribing to charitable insti
tutions.n
A man out West says that almost every
farmer wants to sell his farm, and go at
something else. That "something else"
will stand q fair chance of being overdone
some day.
Sir Nicholas Bacon condemned n man to
death by the name of Hog. The latter ap-
pealed for mercy on account of kindred.
"No," said the judge, Hog is not Bacon
until it is hung"
A Yankee captain once sang out in
squan to q raw hand on board his craft:
"Letgo that jib, therei Darn your skin, lot
go that jib!" "I amt touching i'll"
squalled out the simple :Downeaster.
Douglas Jerrold oseeaa went to % party at
which Mr. Pepper has assembled some
friends, and said to his host, on entering the
room "My dear Pepper, how glad you
must be to see all your friends mustered"
Smith nnd fhroo ,f l,:n c...:..>1