Vermont daily transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1868-1870, 1868-12-14
GIFTS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
AT
Merrifie DIS Bookstore!
a Christnaas Carol, to be sung by email
girls and good sized boys. 6et,peen
now and the Holidays.
BY A Miserable Wretch, ESQ.,.
Whom may the Pates reward with Immortality
and Greenbacks.

This old Subscriber blows his horn,
FOR Christmas day is nearly born,
And Sixty-Eight soon makes his bow
To take sail in Oharon's scow
Adoo, old Codger Fare thee well
Thy joys and sorrows all can tell
We watch thy exit down Times shore,
And wish thee safe the pillows OR;
But ere thou mak'st that journey long,
Pray list unto my Christmas Song,
Come, Muse OF Grim Cracks! thou must tell
What j. nj. MERRIFIELp has to SELL
Since his return from market town.
Take heed, o Muse and " do it brownl"
80, good Pegasus, thou canst sing
Those Books and Toys he was to bring
From Psalm-book. to Tommy Thumb,
Or Watches, warranted as dumb
variety is the spice Of life,"
Sing Dolls for girls, for boys Knife,
How shall sing the gifts that greet
The vision POUNDS, they can't be beat
How shall mention half the traps
He has to sell-from Rows to Kats 7
Those Parian Statuettes 30 fine
OF gods, and heroes once divine
Such Lava Ware, such goods in Bronze,
or Lincoln, Franklin, and the Nuns
o my! can't tell half to thee,
Be wise and hasten there to see.
Ho ye afflicted, He's for you
Hymn Books, Tracts, and "Mountain Dew;
Powder TASKS just brought from Maine,
Where nought but bread 10 made from
grain!
To smooth that brow of discomfort
He'd whisper, Pipe, Testament,
Or sell you Cards, or Sermons, bound
In CALF throughout; or many sound
"Ambrosia," and Harmonica,
To keep your hair from turning gray!
For books to clog an upper shelf,
He cannot suit you we'll himself
But points you, like an honest man,
To Jones Il Co.'s. or those who can.
His books are fresh, and good, and new,
For lawyer, parson, or for you
On every subject meath the sun,
From Metaphysics up to fun.
Rich, rare, and racy are his goods,
Though Bibles or Red Riding Hoods.
Those BOOSTERS roost the livelong day,
Those Tweesers twitch ones grief away,
Those Pencils paint ones sweetheart true,
With red eyes or cerulean blue.
Mem.-When was little girl
l oiled my hair, for twouldnt curl
But as that failed to catch beau,
d0nned o Mask and let him co.
This was deemed neither rude nor rough
In my day but quite up to snuff"
Long years ago, one festal day,
met small boy on his way
To school. He drew upon his Sled
His sister. The little fellow said
Mid sobs-- No Christmas Gifts had they
Found in their poor socks Far away
Cruel santa Claus had gone,
And left Sis and himself fOrlorn |"
Ere Christmas came next year, tits said,
They both, with broken hearts, were dead
Hear roguish Tom and happy May
Sing with delight this holiday
Yet modest Nell (God help such dears!)
Neglected, sheds on Christmas tears,
(PathOs aside, erratic Muse,
Such strains would give Q saint the blues
Sing, Diaries for young and old,
And call in quick or they'll be sold y
Run small, run great, run one, run all,
Twig dolls roll back their oars-and squall
Il n n
Thus might my old nag jog along
And sing to you an endless song
Might tell of School-books, Pens and Sand,
Tales Of the sea and tales of land,
Initial Paper, States, and Ink,
And everything that one can think
But time Is precious now to me,
And doggerel not much priced by thee.
Hold there's one thing long since shoul
said
HIS PLANcHErrEs GALL ARE RAISING NED
It. Adams, VT, December 9, 1868. d&w246-