Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-10-21
what's the Matter With That
Nose.

Nose.
Snyder kept beer saloon some years ago
"over the Rhine" Snyder was ponderous
Teuton of very irascible temper-suddcn
and quick in quarrel-get mad in a minute.
Nevertheless his saloon was q great resort
for the boys partly because of the excel
lencc of his beer, and partly because they
liked to chafe "old Snyder as they called
him; for although his bark was tarifc, ex-
perience had taught them that he wouldn't
bite.
One day Snyder was missing, and. it was
explained by his frau" who ''jorked the
beer" that day, that he had "gone out fish
ing nit ter poys." The next day one Of the
boys who was particularly fond Of roasting
old Snyder, dropped in to get glass Of
beer, and discovered snyder's nose, which
was big one at any time, swollen and bis
tered by the sun, until it looked like dead
ripe tomato.
"Why, Snyder, what the matter with
your nose p said the caller
Il peen out fishing nit der poys," replied
Snyder, laying his finger tenderIy against
his proboscis, ''de sun it pese hot like ash
der tiftl, unit purns my nose. Nice nose,
don't it?" And Snyder viewed it with look
Of comical sadness in the little mirror back
of his bar. 1t entered at once into the head
of the mischevious ft,os- in front of the
ia.r TO play jdke upon Snyder SO he went
out and called half adozen of his comrades
with whom he arranged that they should
drop in at the saloon one after another and
ask Snyder whats the matter with that
nose p to sec how long he would stand it.
The man who put up the job went in first
with companion, and seating themselves
ut table called for beer. Snyder brought
it to them, and the new conner exclaimed
as he saw him. Snyder what's the matter
with your nose?"
II yust dell your friend here peen out
fishing NIT ter boys, unit dc sun he purnt-
'em-zwi lager-dcn cents all right"
Another boy rushes in. Halo, boys
you're ahead Of me this time, 'spose I'm in
though. Here, Snyder, bring me glass of
lager and pret-(appears to catch sudden
glimps of Snydcrs nose, looks wonderiagly
q moment, and then bursts out laughing)-
ha! ha ha! Why, Snyder, cr,-ha.ha -
what's the matter with that nose?'
Snyder, of course, can't see any fun in
having burnt nose, or having it laughed
at, and he says, in a tone sternly emphatic:
'1'vc pecn out tishin' nit der poys unit de
sun yust so hot like ash der tilel, unit purnt
my nose; dat ish all right"
Another tormentcr comes! in, and insists
on setting EN- up for the whole house.
Snyder" says he, "ill up the boys glasses
and take drink yourself-ho no no ha!
ha ha Snyder, what's the matter with
that nose?"
Snyder's brow darkens with wrath by
this time, and his voice grows deeper and
sterncr--"I peen out fishin init der poys on
der lcetle Miami The sun pese hot like as
hail, unit l burn my bugle. Now, dat is
more vot don't got to say: Vot gind Of
pescns2 That is all right: l purn my own
nose, don't it?"
Burn your nosc-bwn all the hair off
your head for what l care; you needn't get
mad about it.
1t was evident that Snyder wouldn't stand
more than one more twe,k at that nose, for
he was tramping about lehind his bar and
growing like an exaspirued old bear in his
cage. Another Of his brmenters walked
in. Some one sings out to him, "Havc a
glass of beer, Billy"
Don't care about an! beer" says Billy,
"but Snyder, you may gve me one of your
best cigars-Ha.a.a hal ha ho ho he
he ha-ha-ha! Why-vhy, Snyder, what's
the matter with that nos ?"
Snyder was absolutely fearful to behold
by that time, his face wa purple with rage,
oil except his nose, which glowed like ball
of fire. Leaning his po,derous figure far
over the bar, and raising his arms aloft to
emphasize his words whit, mo fairly roar.
ed:
'I'yc peen out fishin nit tor boys. The
sun it pese hot like as inflammation.
purnt my nose. Now yot no like dose nose,
you yust take dose nose int wr.wr.wr.wring
your tam American fnge wit en- That's
the kind of man vot an!'
And Snvder was right