davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

A fast young gentleman in Par
is recently made a bet that he
would secure his own arrest with
out committing any crime. He
won by going to fashionable cafe
in a shockingly rakish costume,
and pulling roll of large bills
from his boot when called upon to
nav for what he had eaten and
drank. Notwithstanding his pro-
tests. he was carried before a JUS
tice and had to procure testimony
to his respectahlity.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16
Tempis pf The 8lnsss.
THE IDEAL.

A tall majestic lady,
With locks of deepest dye,
A silken dress, whose gorgeousness
Delights no other eye;
A pretty little cottage.
With ivy covered DER,
And she my pride, my fancy's bride,
Expectant at the door.
Soft music In the cleaning
Ebbs gurgling from her throst:
While l lie still, and drink my all
Ofeach love-burdened note.
Days spent in sweet communion
Meath shade of leafy trees,
We WOO and sigh, and everything
Ispoetry and ease.
A tiny fairy being
Lies nesting on my breast,
As tired of play, she seems to say,
''This is my rightfil rest :"
And In those baby features,
So beautiful and mild,
Methinks l trace another face,
The mother of my child.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

The Atlanta correspondent of a
Georgia paper tells of a chap who
came down from one of the upper
counties and accosted man with
a hand organ covered with a green
cloth, The man began to turn and
the countryman put down a quar-
ter, which the other Immediately
took up. Down went another,
which shared the same fate, and
then another. The stranger, find
ing his pile getting low turned to
by-stander and asked: "Mis-
ter, what sort of game is this,
anyhow"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

his pistols, the bride for getting
her night cap, or the bridegroom
for escaping the station house, or
the duelists for escaping each other.
All resolved to "mark that with a
white stone," and henceforth to
mark their names on their black
travelling bags in white letters.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

A curious poisoning case is un-
der investigation in Lafayette, In
diana. A malicious woman fed
strychnine to a neighbor's hens,
and an egg produced by one of
them afterward, badly poisoned
a little daughter of the owner of
the poultry.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

A man by the name of Baker
is now feared by the whole OF
Northern T9xas. He goes about
armed and shoots any one he
wants to kill without the least
nrovocation. The commander OF
the United States troops near
where Baker was staying offered a
reward of $500 for his head, and
bv way of retaliation the outlaw
offered S4OO for the head OF the
limited States officer.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16
VOL, XV---NO. 3.
To Cure a Smoky Chimney

l O0A4 . q 0AONy OAAAASy
A correspondent who lives in
New Hampshire, states that in
those parts resides man named
Joe; a fellow noted for the tough
lies he can tell, and as a sample
relates the following:
Joe called at Holton's one day
and found him almost choked
with smoke, when he suggested :
"You don't know as much about
managing smoky chimneys as I
do, squire, or you'd cure EN-"
"Ah," said Holton, with inter-
est, did you ever see smoky
chimney cured?"
"Seen a smoky chimney cured"
said old Joe. 81 think ! havel
1 had the worst one in Seaboard
county once, and / cured it a lit
tie too much"
"How was that?" asked Holton.'
"Why, you see" said Joe, s.you'
see, / built a little house out yon-
der at Wolf Hollow, ten or twelve
years ago, Jim Bush, the fell
low that built the chimney, kept
blind drunk three quarters of the
time, and crazy drunk the rest.
/ told him that he would have
something wrong, but he stuck to-
it and finished the house. Well,
we moved in, and built a fire next
morning to boil the .tea-kettle.-
All the smoke came through tho
room and went out of the win
dows; not bit went up the f1ues.
We tried it for two or three days,
andit grew worse and worse. By
and-by it began to rain, and the
rain began to come down the
chimney. 1t put out the fire in q
| minute, and directly it came down
by the pailful. We had to get the
baby off the floor as soon as we
could, or it would have been
drowned. In fifteen minutes the
water stood knee-deep on the floor.
Then I went and took look. It
didn't rain half so hard outside,
and / pretty soon saw what was
the matter. The drunken cuss'
had put the chimney wrong end
up, and it drawed downwards; it
gathered all the rain within a
hundred yards, and poured it down
by bucketsful." =,
"Well, that was unfortunate"
remarked Holton. "But what In
the world did you do with the
house? Surely you never. cured
that chimney"
'But l did, though" answered
old Joe.
"How?" asked Holton.
"Turned the other end up said
the incorrigible, "and then you
ought to have seen it draw. That
was the way cured it too much"
"Drew too much?" asked Hol-
ton.
"Well, squire, you may judge
for yourself" said old Joe. ''Pret-
ty soon after we got the chimney
down and the other end up, | miss
ed one of the chairs out OF the
room, and directly I see another
of 'em shooting towards the fire
place. Next the table went, and
then / saw the backlog going up.
Then / grabbed the old woman un-
der one arm and the baby under
t'other, and started ; but just as /
reached the door / see the cat 60
ing across the floor backwards
holding on with her claws to the
carpet, and yelling awfully. But.
it warn't no use. / just seen her
going over the top of the chimney
and that was the last"
"Well, what did you do then 2
asked Holton. 'Of course you
couldn't live in such a house"
"Couldn't / though 2" said Joe =
"but / did. I.put poultice on
the jam of the fireplace, and that
drawed t'other way !; SO we had no
more trouble"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

The heaviest loser by the late
great fire in Chicago appeared the
next morning among the smoking
rnins of his place of business to e,
place thereon his sign: 'Ph@nixt'
Removed to No. 3S Water street.
on account of the intense heat r,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

4 gas we'll on the Allegheny rlv-
er near Scrub Station, Pa, has
been burning steady fame OF Q.
yer five feet in height for the last
two years.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16
THE THREE TRAVELLING BAGS.

There were three of them, all
of shining black leather, one on
the top of the pile of trunks, one
on the ground, and one in the
owners hand-all going to Phila'
delphia, all waiting to be checked
The last bell had rang. The
baggagemaster hustled, fuming
from onepile of baggage to anoth-
er, dispensing chalk to trunks,
checks to the passengers and curses
to porters, in approved railway
style.
"Mine-Philadelphia!" cried a
military looking man, with enor.
nous whiskers and red face,
crowding forward, as the baggage
man laid his hand on the first trav.
cling bag.
"Won't you please give check
for this, now?" entreated a pale,
slender, carefully dressed young
man, for the ninth time, holding
out baggage No. Q; 81 have a
lady to look after"
"Say! you be agoin' to give me
a check for this ere ornot?" growl-
ed the proprietor of No. 8, a short
pock marked fellow in shabby
overcoat.
Gall right, gentlemen. Here
you are," says the functionary,
rapidly distributing the checks
Philadelphia, this? Yes, sir-2O92
I-l740-lO20. All right"
Gall aboard!' shouted the con-
ductor.
"Who-whew!' responded the To-
comotive, and the train moved
slowly out of the station house.
The baggageman meditatively
watched it as it sped away in the
distance, and then as if a thought
suddenly struck him, slapped bis
thigh and exclaimed:
"Blest, if l don't believe"
"What3" inquired the switch
man.
"That I have gone and gave
them three last fellers the wrong
checks. The cussed little black
things were all alike, and they
bothered me-"
telegraph" said the switch
man.
"Never you mind" replied the
baggageman.
"They were all going to Phila-
delphia. They will find it out
when they get there"
They did.
The scene shifts to the Cont
mental Hotel, Philadelphia. Front
parlor, up stairs. Occupants, the
young gentleman alluded to as
No. 2, and young lady. In accor-
dance with the last usages of the
times, the twain had been made one
in holy matrimony at 7:2O A, NJ,
duly kissed and congratulated till
S:l5, put aboard the express at
S:45, and deposited, bag and bag
gage, at the Continental, at elev-
en- o'clock and ffty-eight minutes.
They were seated on the sofa,
the black broadcloth ccatsleeve
encircling the slender waist of the
gray travelling dress, and the jetty
mustache in equally affectionate
proximity to the glossy curls.
care you tired, dearest?'
"No, love, not much. But you
are, aren't your"
"No, darling"
Kiss, a pause.
"Don't it seem funny? said the
lady.
"What, lover
"That we should be married
eyes, darliag."
"Won't they be glad to see us
at George's?'
"Of course they will.
"I am sure ! shall enjoy it sc
much. Shall we get there to-
night?"
ayes, love, if"
Rap, rap, rap, at the door.
+; A hasty separation took place
between man and wife, to opposite
ends of the sofa; and then:
"Come in"
can ye PLACE, sur, it is an M
P. is waiting to see yez."
"To see me-a policeman
eyes, sir.
"There must be some mistake
"No, sur, its yourself; and he'
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-04-16

II is said that the whole amount
of grain raised in New England
each year would not supply its ~
hsbi tants with focd for six wseks::
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30
Gmnstmtnis. ht.


ACADEMY or MUsIC-1hiS Evening.-Lingard
az lis CUupluy.-" The Day AFTER he welding
ROADWAY THFArTR - This Evening at ID
ireland a. Was" Conueetcat CourhP" Mt and Mrs Barney
Williams
BryANT's NEW MINSTREL Hall, Tammany Build
de porulhs adjoining Academy Of Music This Evening" at D.
IA Somnaubpa Midnight Grecau Bender BryanFs MlnS'res
De sofia the Wonderful Ic-or
FIFTr-AvE. Arr GALLERY, corner OF -Four
MONDAY EreuugFree Exhibition OF Jerome
Tlompsons Home Home and The ui Oakeu Bucket
LYME Hall. No. 723 SiXth-ave-Ihis Evening,
Treuors Soirte Dsusaute. Grand German.
NATIONAL ACADEMY or DESIGN, cor. Twenty-thrd-
A. aud FoartsyeDy aud EreulgSeeond Winter Exhibition o.
Choice Paintings
Nrw-YORK CIRCUS Fourteenth-st-This Evening
81 g. Cinderella" Display Of Athletic SAIL Melville ROLAND
suckuey, etc
Nrw-YoEK THFATFR-This Evening at S.-"As
You Like IT," Mrs ScOltSddouN
NmLos GARDEN.-This Evening at AFTER
Daik; or Loulon by Night"
OLYMPIC THEATER.-This Evening at S-'Humpty
Drmpty." g. L. For Nile Saugah
Pixies OPERA HOUSE.-This Evening at S.-"Barbe
Beue' Lescheu uud fntscaen" Nile De Rosa Nile H~1'
To,iee.
PUTNAMS Art GALLERY.-This Day and Evening
Exhibition Of Bestsdts NesuvuS'
SAN FRANCIsCo MINSTRELs. No. 5S5 Broadway
Tbs EgeuingOpera Bouf' Barber Brown or the racine '
TABERNACLE BAPTIST CHURCH. Second-aNe' he"i
TeuthsL-Yiews Of the Holy Land etc Prof worcester
THEATRE FRANCAIs.-Ihis Evening az l., OS S 4
We've de Brabslt" Nile. Marie DesclaulAs ME- F0D'N | 49,
Gabsl Nv,
WN1AcK's TuFArER-This Evening at s." Ihe
Lancashire Lass" Nj. j. W. Wal.aek-
WAsUrNGToN HAIL. corner OF S0nth SeVenIh anu
Four,lsis Brooklyn E DIh' afternoon 81 i.5 cspsres
WooD's MrsrrM AND METROPOLITAN THEATER
Rroaiwav and Ttirtel-Ills Afternoon 81 ~ J,s
Ross Cooke This evening 81 ~ i1G' p s1 and Grand
Throughout the Dag-Ihe hl4.ef A'1 iOO' '' ~
NeuaFere Of Living Wild Animals
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Republicans remember tO-morrow's duty
Col. Frederick A. COnllling, an honest man,
faithful public servant, and a good soldier,
is the candidate for Mayor, supported 10y all
parties that oppose the gang of thieves who
now rule and rob the city. That conspiracy
against honest government, the Tammany Ring,
has put up against him.Mr. Oakley Hall, arenegade
Republican, who has fairly earned his present
distinction by the zeal with which lie has
denied his principles and done the dirty work
of his new masters Let us at least show by
our votes that we do not fail to note the
difference between the true man and the
unprincipled turn-cOat. Let us at least
mt on record our opposition to organized
thievery, judicial corruption, and the whole
monstrous brood of Tammany iniquites that
have made the Government of this City by
word throughout the Nation. II the honest
men of New-York are not numerous
enough to elect its Oficers-and re
cannot know that till ace hare fairly tried-let
MS at least muster at the polls and show our
strength. We may not carry enough to control
the Government but We can put in office
enough good men to keep vigilant watch of the
rogues, and thus prepare the way for the better
time we all expect. Let us have full vote
to-morrowi
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Gen. Rousseau is reported to have said,
during the ante-elccton troubles in New
Orleans, that the election would prove either
tragedy or farce. His official report,
the essential features of which are printed else
where, shows how it paitook of both characters.
He contributes little 70 the information already
public on the subject, save i'll showing the
origin of the plan by which the Republicans
abandoned their rights in order to secure their
lives. Gov. Warmoth and Gen. A. l.. Lee united,
he says, il proposing to him this policy. He does
not make prominent, however, the fact that he,
the military commander, with an armed force
to support him, had previously professed his
inability to preserve the peace and protect
citizens at the polls.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Mr.. Oakley Hall, as District ttorney, took
solemn oath to strive to secure the enforce
ment of the laws. lie boosted to his audience
on Saturday evening of how he had broken
his oath:
"And in the next place would rather have present
Office because he who holds 10 has the ability erect
barrier between the liberties Of the people the one
side and the despOtism Of Radcalim the other aud
just such barrier that, have tried to hold up Jap
pause. Though they have passed great many laws
Albany about Boards OF Health and Boards Of EK
else and other crimes what crime 10 Is 10 take drink
after u O'CLOCK at night lLaugbter] BIT somehow or
other the press Of business IN my office has been so eat hat
Ihdpe pet found time 10 prosecute for taking
drink after IL O'Clock al night prolonged cheering and
considerable merrimentl."
Now there is just one man in the City of
New York who has no right to take this pleas
ant view of the CASE and that is the man
whose sworn duty it is to prosecute, and who
now goes about making joke of his perjury.
But Mr.. Hall knows his men. He works for
Tammany, and he knows the qualifications
Tammany delights to honor.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Gen. Grants report, elsewhere printed, shows
directness and precision. 1t is not often that
an official story is told with so much brevity
and at the same time so much comprehensive
ness. Here is a document shorter than the
shortest paragraph of most of our official re-
ports, and yet embracing a comprehensive ma
tonal policy. We believe good will come from
the transfer of the Indian affairs to the War
Department Any change will be for the bet
ter. There cannot be more stealing than there
is now, and we have every confidence that the
military will act with more economy and JUS
tice. The present unfortunate Indian war
seems to be defensive, and we presume it will
have TO be fought out. But behind this war
there are centuries of crime, and OPPRESSION
and brutality. which should make every white
man ashamed of his race
The suggestion that there should be no re-
duction of the army in the Southern States
will be read with interest by the members of
the Ku-Klux Khan.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30
CIBf.

Our news by cable from Spain foreshadOws
a coalition of the habtually governing classes
i'm favor of the rcCstabishmcnt of Monarchy.
We deeply regret tins. Much as we are
doomed TO hear from time TO time of the fail
IRE of Repubicanism, we should be willing to
abide the award of any candid pubicist on
this propOsiton-That Democracy never yet
failed so utterly, so woefully, as Monarchy has
failed in Spain. 1t has had long and fair trial
there, with a naturally fine country and
a noble people to experiment upon; and
it has gone into voluntary bankruptcy without
the means of paying "A penny in the pound.
1t has impoverished and famished the masses
il has covered the land with waste places and
ruins; and it has rendered the natiou-once
among the foremost in Europe-impOtent and
cOntemptible In the worlds history, there has
been 10 failure more absolute than that Of
monarchy in Spain. And yet the tax consumers
and the priesthood cling to it as the best
possible form of government for them,
and will probably fasten its shackles
once more Oh the limbs of the people. If they
were agreed as to the monarch, they would
have an easy task; and their common peril will
doubtless compel them to unite on a candidate
for the vacant throne. We assume, then, that
the Republicans will be w0rsted in the Cortez
about to be chosen, and that Spain will once
more try the disastrous experiment of Mon
archy. And this, too, shall pass away"
But, meantime, what of Cuba2
1t is plain, from the Geographic advices
vouchsafed us by the Governor General, that
the instruction is still active and defiant: il
Is not clear that Lersund has power to over
come it. True, we are told Of large additional
force about to be sent ont from Spain; but we
do not hear of its sailing, and We know that
her Finances are 10 desperate condition.
while her people are on the brink of famine
The will to send the proposed expedition is
doubtless good and perhaps the means will be
found ~ time.
But, the hopes of the Republicans being
blasted, the repugnanee of the Cubans TO
Spanish domination is certain to be intensi
fed The share of Cuba in the government
of Spain asia republic would be little more
than nominal; but under q monarch who
holds court at Madrid it can hardly amount
to an illusion. This must be rs palpabe
in the Ever Faithful" isle as in New
York. Cuba, ceasing to be placer
for needy o. greedy Court fayorites and
TO pour bounteOus current into the
eveP-yawnine chasm Of the Spanish treas
ury, would no longer be grasped by the
mother eauntTy so tenaciousy as she has hth-
erto been. There may, there will be impcdi-
ments, and delays, apd disaDpoctments; but
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30
ORR CHARTER ELECTION.
tomorrow

DoRMAN Il. EATON and RICHARD O'GORMAS
are rival candidates for Corporation Counsel at
our Charter Election tomorrow. Believing
that the City's interests require that Mr..
O'Gorman should be defeated, we eXhort our
fellow -citizens to vote and to urge others to
vote Also for Mr.. Eaton.
Our readers can bear witness that we are not
governed in this case by party feeling. Three
years ago, we did our best for Mr.. OGorman,
though he was known to us as n Democrat OF
the COpperhead variety, while his competitor
was Murray Hoffman, an able and worthy Re
publican We supported Mr. OGormm be
cause he had been nominated by the only
organization distinctivcly devoted TO Municipal
Reform, and because we were assured 10y HIM
self. as well as 10y his intimate friends.
that he, if elected, would do his best
To reform the abuses and retTcnch the expenses
of our sadly misgoyencd and fearlully plum
dcred City. We oppose him now, because he
has falsifed the pledges he then made, and
proved rccreant to every honorable obligation.
The dog has joined the wolves whom he was
appointed to drive out and keep out of the
sheep-fold, and has for three years lived high
on mutton. We think lac has had his full share
of il, ard ought now TO be beaten OIL from ms
prey. But others must decide whether he
shall or shall not be- for us. 1t suilices to say
that lie has not deserved reelection and ought
not to have it. We supported him before under
a sad misapprchension. as did many Others
those who support him now have no such ex-
cusc. If he, being rcchosen, should thrust his
arms into the Treasury up to the shoulder In
stead of stopping at the elbow. those who vote
for his reelection will have no right TO COM
plain. His official career has shown exactly
what manner of man he is.
Mr.. Eaton is not 50 widely known to our citi-
zens; hut all they do know of him is good.
He has been an efficient advocate Of honesty,
frugalty, and efficiency in Municipal ailals;
his influence has always been felt on the side
of Order and Peace; and, whether in or out
Office, he has been and will ever be a yrtuous,
loyal, exemplary citizen. Voters who would
have such men in office! give him generous
support at the polls tomorrow
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Mr.. Richard O'Gorman has not yet found
time TO make good his promise TO reply to the
letter addressed to him by Mr.. Peter Cooper a
year ago, making severe charges against his
official honor. BY failing to do this, he permits
his case to go 10y default. and virtually pleads
guilty to the charges alleged against him. Read
that letter of Mr.. Cooper's and then recall the
incidents OF the recent terrible exposure in these
columns of Mr.. OGormans connection with Mr..
Fernando Woods attempted robbery of the
Treasury, and show by your votes your disap-
prevail of the man who is no longer worthy of
public confidence Mr.. 0'Gorman crept into
Office by the support of the reformers of the city.
He had scarcely taken the oath before he made
an alliance with the ring and broke every prom
Use he had made. If il Is honorable i'll men to
keep their pledges then Mr.. O'Gorman Is n dis
honored man-dishonored by reason of his love
of money and desire to get rich by unholy
combinations with men like Sweeny and Tweed.
Citizens can you trust the man who knelt at
The feet of Fernando Wood and made himself
party TO an Infamous fraud2 Can you elect
man who sufrenderS his Office to the uses of
n cabal of public thieves Show your appre-
citation of his conduct 10y your votes tomorrow.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Senator Morton and Secretary McCulloch
have been holding, it seems, conference on
financial matters, which they think of such
Importance as to be anxious to have what they
said to each other correctly understood by the
country. We fail to see in the views of either
enough to warrant much of this uneasincss.
Senator Morton wants to hoard gold, in order
to resume specie payments some years hence.
Secretary McCulloch wants to trust to the
gradual revival of industry and development
of national resources to reach the same end
We have faith in a shorter method. The way
TO resumption is-tO resume.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

Mr.. Disrael has declined the peerage. We
presnmc the Queen desired to honor her Prime
Minister for his devotion TO the interests of the
Church. When Lord Derby was about to retire
from the Cabinet, his fall was soothed by the
Star of the Garter Mr.. DiSraeli declines to be
a Lord and in this he shows his usual tact. a
coronet would he but barren honor TO man
who is old and chdless; who probably remem-
bers the fall of the first Pitt, and more recently
of Lord Brougham; who lost his splendid posi-
ton rs a leader of English opinion when lie
became Lord Chancellor Mr.. Disracli can gam
no fame by any honors that the Queen can con-
fer upOu him.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1868-11-30

If every man in NewYork will go to the
polls tomorrow. and express his opinion of the
present administration of affairs by his vote,
Oakley Hall and Richard 0'Gorman would be bad
ly beaten candidates but we fear the same old
story of apathy, and want of confidence. and
neglect of the ballot. Our elections too often
go by default. Now is the time to strike two
of the leading members of the Ring. Let
every man do his duty by going early to the
polls and striving to induce his neighbors to
90 with him.