Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-05-23

SS ;,ss Joy says she is glad she is not "a thine ,f bea,,t,..,a t she would not like to be 'oau'N' TOT ever.' oy io'
 D6y- A little girl just past her fit. year while chattering about the beaux that visited two of the sex in the same house, of more mature age, being ask ed, "What do you mean by beaux, Am nie ?" feplied, q mean men that have not got much sense."
 Hsg~ John PhGnix once said that when, from the deck of an outgoing steamer, he shouted to friend, 'Good by, Colonel" two-thirds of the crowd on the wharf raised their hats, and said, Good by, old fel. Tekkar yer self"
 ssS> The position of the Republican party with reference to the impeach- ment of Mr. Johnson is well ilustra- ted by .'little story"
 What do you think ofimpeachment2 said gentleman to Radical, night or two ago.
 Well, I'll tell you; it's like boz who was digging after woodchuck like blazes. A man who was passing | inquired:
 What are you doing, boy?' Digging for a woodchuck.'
 You don't expect to get him, do you%
 Yes, siree, by Cd! I must have him we're out of meatr
 And this is precisely what's the mat ter with the Radical gentlemen who arc digging after Mr. Woodchuek 1 Johnson.
 GA GAL BABY AT THAr.'--To desire change of sex is not commonly con sidered manly aspiration to weep about it seems ludierous. Yet the thing has been done, and on the tented field In the very fiercest of the bat tie at Malvern Hill. General Lee en- countered tall Johnny Reb in full re- treat, and blubbering fearfully. He stopped him and shamed him but the fellow openly avowed cowardice, and said he knew he was coward when they 'scripted him.
 Well, said the patient, but vexed, General, that may be, but you need not below about it like great baby
 Baby r echoed the conscript, I wish I was baby, and gal baby at thatl' As warrior, the General regarded the party defective. and paused not for further colloquy.
 gg- A young gentleman by the name of Conkey, having united in the holy bonds of wedlock, sent the marriage notice, with a couplet of his own conn position, to local paper, for publica- ton, as follows,
 Married, on August 1st, A. Conkey, Esq. Attorney at Law, to Miss Euphe- mia Wigging.
 Love is the union of two hearts that beat in
 sottest melody;
 Time, with it's ravages, imparts no better fu-
 sion to it's ecstacy. Mir. Donkey looked with much anx- iety for the issue of the paper, that he might see his name in print. The typo into whose charge the notice was placed happened to be on spree at the time, and made some wonderful blum ders in setting it up, thus:
 Married, on August 1st, A. Donkey, Esq, Externally at Law, to Miss Euphu- mia Pigging.
 love is onion with two heads that belt ir sottest melony; Time, with it's ravages, imparts no better food to an extra dray.
 Rsy- The minister who boastcd of preaching without notes, didn't mean to be understood to refer to green backs.
 Des~ "Hello, Bill, lend me five dol lars? "You're mistaken in the man, sir, I'm not five dollar Bill.' Re- "Well, uncle, do you see any particular difference in neighbor Pearce since he joined the churchP'
 "Oh, yes,' was the reply; "a great difference. Before, when he went out into his garden on Sunday, he carried his gardening tools on his shoulder; now he carries them under his over- coat"
 ssy The Bangor Whig mentions that there is an absent minded gentleman in that city, who met his own son in the street the other day, shook hands with him inquired after his health and when his father was expected at home.
 p1-A Chicago editor remarks that he is glad to receive marriage notices, but request that they be sent soon af- ter the cererony and before the divorce is applied for. He has had several mo- spoiled In this way.
 sey~Fowl culture is receiving atten- ton in Paris. 'I've got henery," late ly said great lady to her cousin. "Dear me, said the cousin, q thought his name was Charlesp
 BJA correspondent of the Carlin- viile Democrat furnishes the following: The other day one of the Internal Revenue officers was around. II. was giving the amaunt of goods sold, etc., when the officer asked him, among oth- questions, whose duty 1t is, the follow ing '? "Did your wife have an income last year? P "Yes, replied H., ''she had