New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1868-11-07
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERs.



Thare is not on the whole horizon Nv
live natur more pleazing and strengthen
ing study than the Rooster. This remark
able package Of feathers has been for ages
food for phllOsophik as well as the simple
curious kind. They belong TO the feathered
sekt denominated poultry, and are the hus
bands of menney wives. In Utah it is kon-
sidered disgrace to speak disrespectful OF
a rooster. Brigham Young's coat of arms
is rooster, in lull blast Growing till he is
almost bent over double backward.
The flesh of ihe rooster is very similar
tew the flesh of the hen; it is hard tew dis
tinguish the difference, especially in your
sup. BOOSTERS are the pugilists Gmung
the domestic burds; they wear the belt,
and having no shoulder tew strike from
they strike from the heel.
boosters, according to profane history,
if mi edukashun remembers me right, were
formerly a man, who come suddenly upon
one ov the heather gods, at time when
he want prepared tew see company, and
waz for that offense, rebuilt over into the
fust rooster, and was forever afterward
destined tew crow, as kind ov warning.
This change from man akounts for their
fighting abilities, and for their pollteness
tew the hens. Thare is nothing in man
that woman admires more than his reddy-
ness and ability tew smash another fellow,
and it IL jiss SO with hen. When rooster
gifts licked the hens all march oph with the
other rooster, if he amt half so big or hand
some.
1t il pluck that wins hen or a woman.
There liz CRATE variety ov pedigree amung
the rooster race, but for stiddy bizness
give me the old fash dominique rooster,
short-legged, and when they walk they
alwus strut, and their buzzums stick out
like an AldermGn's abdominal cupboard.
This breed is hawk coored, and has a
crooked tail on them, arched like a sickle,
and az full ov feathers as new duster.
But when you come right down to grit
and throw all outside influences overboord,
there amt noting on earth, nor under it,
that can out-style, out-step, out-brag, or
out-p!uck regular Bantum rooster.
They alwus put me in mind Ov very
small dandy practicing before a looking
glass.
They don't weigh more than thirty
ounces, but they make az mach fuss az a
tun. / have seen them trying tew pick a
quarrel with two-hoss Wagon, and don't
think they would hesitate tew fight meet
ing-house if it waz the least sassy to them.
1t is more than fun tew hear one OF these
little chevaliers crow; it il like four-year
old baby trying tew sing line out oV the
Star Spangled Banner.
The hen partner in this concern IL the
most exquisite little boquet of neatness
and feathers that the eye ever roasted on
They are are az prim az premature yung
lady. 1t il luxury to watch their dan-
tyness, tew see them lay each feather with
their bills, in its place, and preside over
themselves with az much delicacy as a
belle before her mirror.
But the consummation IL tew see the
wife a mother, leading out six little chicks
bugging six little chicks no bigger than
bumblebees.
1t seems tew be necessary that there
should be sumthing outrageous in evry-
thing, tew show us WHARF propriety ends,
choly, the case in the rooster affair, for we
hav the shanghi rooster, the gratest out
rage, in mi opinyin, ever committed in the
annals of poultry.
TheZe kritters are the camels amung
fowls, they NOPE around the barnyard, tip
ping over the hay racks, and stepping on
the yung goslins, and evry now and then
they crow confusion.
If emmy body should Civ me shanghi
rooster should halter him, and keep him
in box stall, and feed him on cut feed, and
il he would work kind in harness, all right.
If not would butcher him the iust wet
day that cum, and salt him down tew give
tew the poor.
But there amt nobody going tew Civ
me one Of this breed, knot if know it,
don't think thare IL a man on earth mean
enuff to do it.
BOOSTERS do but very little household
work, they won't lay emmy eggs, nor try
tew hatch emmy, nor see tew the young
ones; this satisiys me that thare is sum
truth in the NEUROLOGICAL ackount oV the
ROSTERS just origin.
Yu can't get rooster to pay emmy atten-
shun tew a yung one; they spend their time
in Growing, strutting and occasionally find
a worm, which they make a remarkable fuss
over, calling up their wives from distance,
apparently tew treat them, but just as the
hens git thare this elegant and elaborate
cuss bends over and gobbies up the morsel.
just like man for all the world.