davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

SoMETHING PITHY. -Four gentlemen-a Bap-
tist,, Presbyterian, Methodist, and Roman
Catholic-met by agreement to dine on fish.
AS soon as grace was said the Catholic
rose, armed with knife and fork, and taking
head removed it to his plate, exclaiming as he
sat down., with great self-satisfaction, "Papaest
caput ecclesi@ Pope is the head of the
Church. immediately the Methodist minister
arose, and helping himself to about one-third,
embracing e. 1b the tall seated himself and said'
work. The Presbyterian now thought it was
about time. for him to move, and taking the re-
mainder of the fish to his plate, exclaimed.
: In media es veritas truth lies between the
two extremes. Our Baptist brother had moth.
ing before him but an empty plate, and the
the bowl of drawn (melted) butter, he dashed
1t over them all, excaiming: Ego baptiso
vos''-I paptise you all. '-S'
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
1o,n. LPUPLIO REsoLUrrON-NO. 2s.l


joint Resolution relative the
scrip to the States lately in Rebellion.
WHEREAS the third day of April eighteen
Dy the authority and direction of the President of the
states agricultural college scrip, covering nearly two
uueu ana seventy thousand issued and delivered
to the State North Carolina under the act of Congress of
July fifth secOnd eighteen hundred sxtywO, providing
coeges and whereas by the authority
Le general land Office preparing to issue scrip in like
manner TO the states of Virginia. Georgia and Mississippi
said action of the President takes for that said
states are restored to their constitutional relation
he nOn and to be recognized in all
70 the rights OF the other States this Union which questions
Congress alone r9httully determine Therefore,
be resolved by the Senate and House Representatives
United states oil America in Congress assembled That the
issue or delivery Of such scrip to of the States
against the United States except the State Of
Ienesee the acceptance of such
issued 10y the registers receivers land offices of
Sau states be- and the hereby prohibited
APPRONED, March 70, 1861. =
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
POeI1.V.
SO FAR--SO FAR AWAY.

So far away So far away!
Thy stars are not the stars see;
With me tis night with thee 'tis day,
And day and night are one to me,
So far-so far away!
faint beneath those wandering airs
Whose wings around the world 90 free
l snatch at straws the whirlwind bears
Touched they the land that blooms for thee
So far-sO far awayY
The forms that near me breathe and move,
Like visions rise, like visions flee;
can not live to other love,
My soul has crossed the deep to thee
So far-sO far away!
Earths dropping shadows close me round.
The heavens have lost their light Tor me.
The voice Of joy breathes not a sound,
And hope swOOns dead on yonder sea
So far-sO fer away?
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

WALKING FISH, of which so many interest
ing accounts have recently been given by natu-
ralists, are shortly expected to arrive in England
from India. The largest species grown to a
length Of three feet, but the smaller varities of
about one foot are more common. Observers
state that the walking fish breathe the air d
rect from the atmosphere, as we'll as air in solu-
ton in the water, their usual dwelling place.
Great pains have been taken to secure the
the eighteen specimens now in course of trans
mission to the London geological Gardens.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

The GETTYSBURG WATER Gettysburg
ever to be famed in history as the ground on
which was fought and won the turning battle
OF the war of the rebellion, is now acquiring a
reputation Of different kind, as giving out a
healing water for the restoration of the sick
and disabled. The opinions expressed by Drs.
Bell Stone, and other physicians, of the ac-
lively medicinal properties of this water, would
seem to be strengthened by additional testimo-
ny, OF decided character After making all
due allowances for the changes which time
brings about naturally in some diseases, and
the power of Imagination in the seeming cure
OF others, there remains clear and persuasive
record of the experience on themselves of per-
sons OF undoubted candOr and judgment, who
have been signally benefited by the methodi-
cal use of the Gettysburg water With it, as
with many of the mineral springs of Europe.
chemical analysis fails to indicate in advance
or to explain afterward its virtues and adapta-
tlon to some Of the most formidable and often
unmanageable diseases to which the human
frame is subject. Of these we may mention,
as yielding to this new remedy, chronic rheu-
matism, gout, and diseases of the kidneys, and
renal apparatus generally. Dyspepsia, with
its multifarious pains and disguises and murky
visions, is shown, on the testimony of intelli-
gent sufferers from the disease, to be amenable
to the curative power of the Gettysburg water,
and the same may be said of great and contin-
ued debility and prostration, amounting some-
times to paralysis itself, whether they be due to
indigestion and imperfect blood making, or to
organic affections ofthe brain and spinal mar
row,
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

The GOlconda, a frst-class ship owned bv
the America Colonization Society, sailed on
May l4th from Savannah, with 45i emegrants
for Liberia. Most of the men are farmers and
mechanics, and are well supplied with agricuI-
tural implements and tools Turning lathes
and the requisite machiery for grist and saw
mills, for which ample water-power abound in
Liberia, were taken by some of the well.to. do
OF them. Sewing machines were not forgotten
by. the women. Free transportation in the
ship was given them by the Society, and such
articles tending to promote the success of the
emlgrants and the ~Republc to which they 90.
A fair proportion of the company can read,
and some can read and write. The communi-
cants of churches are remarkably numerous.
There are five licensed ministers of the Baptist
and Methodist denominations. Emigration to
Liberia is on the increase among people of
color, and would be much larger if the Coloni-
sons who are desirous of removing to the -four
ishing little republic in Africa. LEDGER.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

A NATURAL MoVEMENT-One night Gen.
Adams, OF Tennessee, on returning to camp.
was halted by the sentinel on an outpost
After giving the countersign, and telling the
man about his duties as sentry. '
General-"lf you saw two men coming to-
ward your post what would you do?"
Sentlnel-.I would halt them, and then d.
rect one to advance and give the countersign.''
Genera IF three or fou- should approach,
Sentinel-'I would do the same thing"
General-''Suppose you saw dozen COM
ing, what then? ?'
Sentinel ~ would do the same thing"
General Suppose whole regiment should
come, what then ~
Sentinel-"I would form line as quick as
possible"
General-"What kind of line could you
Sentinel-'A bee line for camp"
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
WHOLE NO. 693
What 1 Would BE.

II had to be a bird
! wouldn't he a lark
They have to rise so early,
And 20 to bed at dark.
l wouldn't be an eagle.
The King NJ birds ESQ called
i wouldn't he his majesty
For fear might be bald.
wouldn't be a sparrow
1t wouldn't be much fun
To have the noble sportsman
Come round with dog and gun.
Nor yet would be chicken,
Cos when the mortal coil
Was shuBied of, my quiet life
Might finish in broiL
But il l had to be bird
d be one that was fly
d be gay canary,
And will tell you why:
Because you re treated handsome
- And, il You only sings,
Gets cuttlelish and chickweed
And lots Of bully things;
And to some charming creature
You can breathe your love in song,
And warblp out your rOundelAyS
Right to her sweet and strong:
She II call yOu all the prrtlrst uamrs--
You II live In her boudinr!
Now, If you had to be bird,
Amt this worth living for?
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
COMPLETE MANURE.

MANUFACTURED BY HENRY BOWER.
PHILADELPHIA,
MADE FROM
Super Phosphate Of Lime, ammonia and Potash
Warranted Free from AduIteration
Packed in Bags Of 200 lbs. each.
Price $50 per Ton 1000 lbs.
Liberal discount to dealers.
lthas raised good crops Wheat Corn Oats Potatoes
Grass. Cotton. Tobacco and Vegetables of all kinds
Farmers would do well to inquire Of their nearest
dealer IN fertilizers TO the results obtained from the
use OF Complete Manure. The growing crons ol
Wheat. at this time, freely attest its virtues
t Is highly recommended bv all who have used IL
up TO this time.
we have numerous testimonials to the effect that il
o. an invaluable Fertilizer and we recommend il
highly as a top dressing for Wheat and Grass
DIXON, SHARPLESS & CO.,
SOLE AGENTS,
80 South Water and 40 South Wharves,
PHILA DELPHIA.
For Sale by VIM. REYNOLDS,
79 South Street,
Janl.ly Baltimore. Maryland.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

second auditor and hereby authorized instructed
aull anu set the accounts of line
extent OF their for their as such due them from
me Inlted States in all where shall
seu Dy audavt OF such line officer otherwise, their
@ @ 20 make their monthly report returns by
having Oeen prisoners in the hands Of the
Tor property IN their possession. -
APPROVED, March 29 1867
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
OFFICIAL.
LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES,
FGsSed at the First Session of the FOrtiM Congress-
IPUBLIc REsoLUrIoN-No. 10.

A IPUBLIC RESOLUTION-NO. IO1
amending the ninth Section of AN Act IN
an S An Act to provide the better Security of
o passengers on board of Vessels propelled whole
OF IN part Of Steam and for other Purposes approved An
Gust tnlrtlet1, eighteen hundred and ffty-two ~
esSSe by the Senate and House Representatives
CteI states of America in Congress assembled That The
ulVlson oil the ninth section of entitled IAN Acf
an act entitled act to provide the better
" te nVeS OF passengers board of
or part by steam and for other PURPOSES approyed An
IN the year eighteen hundred fty-two is So
ed for at INSPECTORS may in the license therein provid
chest or apartment, composed lined with metal conna
M Irlctonmaches, securely packed in strong ti"
Guests or DOXes the of which
on " locks screws other fasenngs and which shaI
~ sale part Of the steamer Designated in tbe;r
Approved, March 22, 1867. ~ ''"4''e iOln any nre'
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
IPrBIIC REsoIurIov.-No.1 10

d
Joint Resolution amend Act entitled provide
Increased Revenue from imported Wool and other
poses.
Be resolved by the Senate and House
th United states Of America in Congress assembled That
act entitled act to provide increased import
ed Wool ana Tor other purposes approved March
teen hundred and be amended by striking
the paragraph commencing with the words Weddings belt
with silk" "
SEC And be further resolved That the joint resolution
March second eighteen hundred and sxtyseyen
section five OF entitled act
imports and for other purposes approved June threh egh
teen hundred and shall not be construed to apply
lasting mOhAr CLOTH silk twist other
made in patterns such shape FORM or cut
in such Mariner to be fit for buttons exclusively.
APPROVED, March 20, 1867.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
IPUBGIC REsoIrr,ox-No TEL

!
tSOltOn declaring the of
the Act Of the March eighteen hundred and
one relative to Property lost In the military Service
s"vyd by the Senate and House
limited states Of America in Congress assembled That section
o te act OF Congress entitled An provide for the
and Uo * % incurred by the Territories Washington
e @ ys hundred aud fyye and eighteen hundred
approved the of March
anu shall be-
oSt properly shall comply with all the cond-
lions O the act of the third of March,
ortJ nine tie subject Of property in the military SER
VICE ne e or ey shall be paid the the
IN her or their favor entered by the third auditor and
tilted by him required 10y the act out Of any
money in the treasury not otherwise appropriated.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
1o;n. po..,... tPUBLIc REsOLUTIoS-No. Ill
Resolution ~ he Rat of Outy


Mlre Spiral Furniture Springs. - ' anu Vh
Resolved by the Senate and House
United states of America in Congress assembed Thai ro
g er e passage OF this joint resolution there shall ba
coecteu and paid umbrellas, parasols and sun
ues, imported from foreign countries made of Sill a
; rate OF uuy than that imposed upon piece and dress
ots namely, Sx per centuma vaorem; and when made of
ya0ro, In t SILK the duty shall be fifty per cenum nd
ana That wire spiral furniture springs Unmarried fr
t @ manu- actured OF iron wire, shall be reoir
tue same rate OF duty iron wire name
d TeIs per per pound and fifteen centum ad yaOrem
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
, March %. 1867.
IPUBLlc REsoLUTIox-No.

(PCBLIC RBsOLUTION-No. 1871
Joint Resolution Reference the Payment Of the Salaries
OF Members of Congress.
Be resolved by the Senate and House Representatives
the United America assembled
Senator member Of the House delegate
in Congress after having taken and subscribed required
oath shall be entitled to receive his compensation the end
OF each month"; at the rate established by law and
amount sufficient to their compensation and mileage
the first day July hereby appropriated out
money in the treasury not otherwise Appropriated,
APPROVED, March 90 1867.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
IPUBLIc REsoLUTIoS-No. al

Resolution to- make valid the New Mexico passed
the Session OF the Legislature held from the third
pay o Deceniber eighteen hundred sxtysX to thirty
Ry Rrs qay q January anu eighteen hunded and sxtyeven
United States of America Congress assembed That III
laws passed by the Legislature assembly Territory of New
Mexco at its last session. which began third ay of De-
eember eighteen hundred and sXtysx. ending on the
aay oi January eighteen hundred and sixty-sevc
& enu Sg9sI 9y W. + NJ Army acting secretary and acting
force and effect though the had been approved M
signed BY the governor duly appointed subject to the future
revision and approval of Congress = - N
APPROVED, March Is.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
fPUBLIC RRsOLrTl

Joint Resolution furnish Provisions the
Destitute IN the South.
Be IL sOved by the Senate and House Representatives
the United Srte of America in Congress assembled That
Secretary Of the Navy the application of the contributors
any their behalf be- and he is hereby authorz
ed and directed to charters vessel to provisions
trbued by the people from Baltimore Maryland to Whining
ton, North Carolina, tor gratuous distribution the
destitute Of the South under the direction the contributors
and such regulations by the Secretary OF the Navy be
prescribed.
ApppnY Ed. March Is61.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

a Coon MEDICINE.-The next best thing
70 reliable physician in any community is a
good medicine; and to sincere and skilful
practitioner it is no invaluable help. To know
a remedy and to apply it is the Doctor great
businesS-aside from this his advice is from
experimental practice, and we are only expert
menting when following it. The reliable medi-
cine is, therefore, the great deSileratun,. To
direct when to administer it is all the physician
DIR. Helmbold, we have, therefore, ali that Is
needed. Every bottle of the extract has full
directions fer its use. 1t is no quack medicine,
but comes to the patient with the recommen-
datlon OF some Of the brightest intellects known
to the science of physics. A medicine bearing
the unqualified endorsement of such men as
DR.. Physic, Professor Devices, DR.. Ephraim
Mc;Dowel, and Prof Traveres, of the Royal
to the confidence ofmillions of families Hence
the wealth of its distinguished preparer and its
necessity to the family circle at times and sea-
sons. See advertisement elsewhere. CIncil
matt Guzette
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
THE following story is told of General Sher-

IHE following story is told of General Sher-
man:
At one of the Connecticut towns, where he
was as brought out on the platform to be seen by
served tall, awkward looking fellow approach
ing the cars, elbowing the crowd in the most
excited manner, and believing Sherman
Sherman! Don't you know me?" The General
intimated that he did not at the moment re-
cognise his questloner as familiar acquaint-
ance.
Don't you remember, down in Georgia.
stopping where there was crowd of fellows
looking on at a chicken fght?"
Der it.
"'Well, y said the fellow with a grin of inef-
fable satisfaction and modest triumph, that
was my rooster what whipped"
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

AN EDITOR says that a man in New York
got himsef into trouble by marrying two wives.
A Western editor replies by assuring his cotem-
porary that good many men had done that
same thing by marrying one. A Northern
quaintance found trouble enough by barely
promising to marry, without going any further.
Southern editor says that friend of his was
bothered enough when simply found in com
pany with another mans wife,
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

Phiisdslnbi" s New Castle Wilmington and
Leave 4iIadenbis 70 a. ana on Mondays at las,
New Castle. O' "a" ~Hu wilmington ll0 2. NJ. for
SMYRNA BRANCH TRAINs-Additiona, o
1Iavion M Ia or clayton 45 A. NJ and sic p NJ Ieave
ga; r SMYRNA $40 A. NJ and p NJ To MAKE coonan
train Viii as @ 70 and from Dover and stations south Also
&4i. A. VI. NPAO'S' anu return leaving clayton
Trains leaving Crisfeld at as A. NJ and wiro;n, 4,
Slns Soath at sos NJ, will in close connaction b
aod fro and Portsmouth, and Express Trains to
stop on The niore' ninre' Phadepha and New York They will
% Ineir time is stated. EXCEPT that Steamb0at Fan
which they have tickets "' any STATION 10
z. Q. SEWALI. Stunt Del r r
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

SOCIETY IN New YoRK-There can be no
blinking the fact that society in New York is
not as safe place for a man or woman to move
about in as it was several years ago. So many
tricks OF Paris and follies of fashion have been
introduced in what is called good society"
that 1t is no longer endurable to quiet, modest
people. Nay, more, the larger parties and r, :
ceptlons that are given are but little more than
repettlOnS OF the Black Crook and White Fawn.
In every part of our social life this imp of
Parlsle n wickedness, this demoralization of the
stage has crept. We can no longer take our
wives and sisters to- fashionable parties with
any sense OF securely or respect, Such is the
utter shamelessness displayed, such is the man.
tie OF freedom thrown over the verest loafers
and llbertneS, that light minded person is dis
gusted.
1t is certainly astonishing that any father
should be willing to have his daughter for an
hour at the mercy of what is known as fashion
able society. He might as we'll condemn her
to a life of unhappiness to begin with Such
trlcklng out with paint and powder such half
naked displays of the shameless and immodest.
such metallic ornamentatons, such articles
and deceit, such namby-pamby conversation
1t IS all one great hollow sham. 1t makes no.
body happier, and adds to nobody's respect.
Better tor US all to stay quietly in our homes,
cultivate those higher graces which are the
charm of true society. Pity it is that such
is the present condition of things in this city;
but that it is true-sadly, terribly true we
think will not be questioned. York
HOrId
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
PUBLIC REsoLUrroy-No. i5.l

GPUBLIC REsOLUTIOS-No. ISL
Resolution concerning the Uniform Persons in the DDo-
matte Scrvi OF the Cniied States.
Resolved by the Of of
United states OF America in Congress assembled That all
sons IN the pOmatc service of the United prohibit
d from wearing any uniform official costume previously
authorized bV Congress.
APPROVED March ~ 1861.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
IPUBLIC REsoIUTIoS-No. o51

Revolution in reference Collection and PAYMENT o
MONEYS due COored Soldiers Sailors and Marines or their
Resolved by the House of Representatives Of the
checks and treasury certificates be the settlement
o claims Tor bounty, other
coiOred soldiers sailors, marines, their
s now residing or who may have resided, any State in
Whc slavery existed III the eighteen hundred sixty
the claim tor which has been
or attorney shall be made payable the commissioner of the
Teemen Durea who shall the said
ms aWlu lees ami expenses and shall Did the balance
10 the order OF the claimants satisfactory indentifcaton
Du no money shall be- paid to
OF ms or her legal representatives deceased shall any
power OF attorney transfer or assignment of the
calmS part thereof be allowed by the
commissioners or by officer agent acting him
II shall be the duty of the said commissioner officers and
agents oil the freedmen bureau to facilitate possible
the discovery denhcatlOn and payment O the claimants
SEC 2 And be 1t further resolved That the
OF the reemen bureau shall be held responsible the safe
custody and faithful disbursement the Gns hereby
10 nm In settling with the attorney of
strict compliance with the scale of fees second
section OF Joint reselu
hundred and SxtysN, entitled Joint amenlatory
the pensions bOuntie and allowances their heirs apprOv
ed june hteen eighteen hundred siXysx will in every
case required and enforced and any attorney or agent
snail IN addition to nOtaral fees and of collecting
such claim demand repayment for money loaned advanced
TO claimant he shall be required oath to the date
expenses shall be withheld and when the claimant have
ec property ldcn and his
the balance due shall be paid in funds in checks
drafts.
SEC B. And be it further resolved That all money held or
under the provisions of this resolution shall held
ana dIsurSed under the rules and
other disburSing officers of the army.
APPROVED, March o. 1867.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
[PUBLIC RESoLUTIOS-NO. PAL
resolution in Relation to the educational Interests O

UIStrIct OF COumbia.
Resolved by the Senate and House Representatives Of
United States Of America in Congress assembled That the
of education be directed ascertain the number
OF children resident the District Columbia over the age of
SIX years and under the eighteen years. number
Sau children that are blind and the number that
uun the number and character Of public
per OF teachers, and the number pupils
Der and character of school libraries character
used average period each pupil is
tuOn with Incidental expenses of said schools report
same TO Congress at its next regular session. with
ms OPINION OF the relative efficiency of the system force
III SAID District and whether and additional legislation
said children. ~ VI
APPROVED, March
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27

,D . GPCBLIC REsoLUTIoN-NO 1911
So resolution providing
'ANN' NIN
BE it resolved by the Senate and House of
I the nltd States Of America Congress assembed Te9
er tne passage of this joint resolution object of
o any individual or ASSOCIATION OF individuals for
AS gift to the United States or 70
y state county municipal government shall be admitted
OF the Treasury may prescribe. 80 VIZ S'Niet"i'
SEC And be further resolved That the Secretary of tho
treasury be- and he hereby authorized to refund the
on any steam agricultural machinery imported into the
Ohte StaeS during the currant fiscal
purposes and to remit the on any steam
chey ol IKE description which be imported for such
purpose prior To the heth june eighteen hundred and
steam ploughs. ~ ~ "PPi' VnS u
And be further resolved That the Secretary of the
treasury Is hereby authorized and required discOnnue th
nent OF officer person employed under the acts
collection direct
lttTt States whenever
vice Is no longer needed and he hereby authorized 10 oIv
upon any Ocer officers of internal in said districts
portion o the duties imPosed by said shall per
iorh such duties without additional compensation. -
APPROV March %. lSG7.
Smyrna times., 1868-05-27
steam Dyeing and Securing.
MRS. E. w. SMITH,
No. % Noah FIFTH ST., bet. Market and Arch,
PHILADELPHIA.

. Piece goods of every description dyed to any
.olor. L. dies Wearing apparel Of every description
dyed in the most fashionable and permanent colors,
and finished in a superior style
Pi,no Covers. Carpets, Rugs. &c= secured
Pongec and - Dresses re-dyed all coiors' ano
warranted equal new.
able terms. may6-ly