Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-04-18
sAx.MAGUNDI.


 s3- Probably the reason why the way of the transgressor is hard, is that it is so much travelled.
 pay- Aman named Tease has married Miss Cross at St. Louis He Teased her till she agreed she would mt be Cross any more
 pG-"You lost two legs in the army, you say what did you gain by it?"
 Single blessedness, sir for after that no woman would marry me-"
 pJ- "Wont that boa constrictor bite me ?'' said little boy to a snowman. "Oh! no, boy; he never bites - he swallows his wittles wholc.'
 I@Why is newspaper like wife 7 Because every man ought to have one of his own.
 s@rDr. Franklin used to say that rich widows are the only piece of second hand goods that sell at prime cost
 Queen Victoria and the King of Abysinia didn't marry, but they fight just as much as if they had done so.
 rA.An editor out west has been elected town constable, and now arrests the attcn. ton of his readers.
 rD- If man is without enemies l wouldn't give ten cents for his friends. The man who can please everybody hasn't got sense enough to displease anybody.
 1@-When an acquaintance says, "How are you ?" and rushes by without pausing for reply, I wouldn't, if I was in your place, follow him more than mile to tell him I was we'll.
 II~A convenient way of testing the affections of your intended Is to marry another woman. If she don't love you, you will find it out immediately.
 aO-Do unto other men as they would like to do unto you, and they won't have enough money in two weeks to have shirt washed.
 p@-The spirit of liberty never dies; op- pression and tyranny may entomb it for time, but it rises glorious and resplendent from the tomb. The cause may be lost, but the principle lives, and shall live for ever.
 a@- Every man capable of doing se- cret injustice is a coward He will shrink, shufae, and equivocate but if held by the firm grasp of truth and courage, cannot escape an ignoniinious exposure.
 s0~The heaviest letter that ever weigh cd down the limbs of a captive is as the web of a gossamer, compared with the pledge of a man of honor. The wall of stone and the bar of iron may be broken but the plighted word never.
 rA-Observe a method in the distribu- ton of your time. Every hour will then know its proper employment, and no time will be lost. likeness will be shut out at every avenue, and with her that numerous body of vices that make up her train.
 p9~ A stupid fellow tried to annoy popular preacher by asking him whether the fatted calf of the parable was male or female. "Female to be sure," was the reply ;.'for see the male, Took ing his questioner full in the face, "yet alive in the flesh before me-"
 nD- A farmer passing through vill- age, stabbed dog that attacked him, with pitchfork. Upon being carried before justice, he was asked why he did not strike the cur with the butt of his weapon. "So I should" replied he, 'if the dog had run at me wish his tail.'
 Bay A witness in divorce case kept saying that the wife had very retaliat. ing disposition that she retaliated for every little thing. "Did you ever see her husband kiss her?' asked the wife's counsel. "Yes sir, often" "Well, what did she do on such occasions? ?" She always retaliated, sir"
 par "Sir, do you cnow that l have been to two universities P "Well, sir" said the farmer, .'what of that? had a calf that sucked two cows. and the observation made was, the more it sucked the greater calf it grew"
 sNr Tommy, my son, fetch in stick of wood" "Ah, my dear mother" responded the youth, "the grammatical portion of your education has been sad ly neglected; you should have said: ''Thomas, my son, transport from the recumbent collection of combustible material upon the threshold of this ed- flee, one of the curtailed excrescences of defunct log" M
 MARKED Hfa-A small boy out west was assisting his father mark sheep with paint and brush. The father would catch sheep and say to the boy, "Mark that" After the job was done, the boy started