Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-03-21
Advar,,sers hv inc vear will be restricted
sAIMAGUNDI.

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 ss~ A clergyman said he addressed his congregation of ladies and gentle men as brethren. because the brethren embraced the ladies. neg- "None but the brave deserve the fair,s and none but the brave can live with sois,e of them, iiR ''-is
 aay- There is young lady in Brook Iyn so refined in her language that she never uses the word"blackgaard,T but substitutes "African sentinel" 98
 nsy Kissing factory girl may be called mill privilege" particularly if there be high waterfall on the premises. .-sg
 gs- A prominent journalist in New York who is perfectly bald, has offer ed reward of one thousand dollars for tale that will make his hair stand on end.
 nG~ "A man who'll malciously set fire to barn. said MT. Slow, ''and burn up twenty cows, ought to be kicked to death by jackass, and I'd like to do it.' n Nt
 pGT "Boy,' said an ill-tempered old fellow to noisy lad, "what arc ybti hollerin' for when I am going by?'- "Humph! r returned the boy, "what are you going by for whenl am holler- imp .fsr airls
 rssy- A down cast editor has got such a cold in his head, that the water freez- es on his face when he undertakes to wash it.
 Hg- A Respondent editor reinarks that if the country grows much worse, he shall publish the notices of births under the head cfdisasters.
 sS~ q am astonished, my dear voting lady, at your sentiments you make me start" a
 "Well, sir, I've been wanting you to start for the last hour" a
 RSs- Do not be troubled because you have no great virtues. God made million spears of grass where he made one tree. .aIs.,se .f4 s,f .1sa
 Das- A flying machine has been ih- vented by an, English lawyer. Itwould sound more professional to drop the f. ng~ A Yankee made a bet with q Dutchman that he could swallow him. The Dutchman lay down dpoh the ta- ble, and the Yankee, taking his big toe in his mouth, nipped it severely. s.s4
 "Oh! you are biting me, roares. the Dutchman. ua t.t,
 "Why, you idiot" said the Yankee, .sdid you think was going to swallow you whole?'
 B9- A Western paper contains the following apology: "The editor is ab- sent, the foreman has the toothache, the 'deviP is drunk and trying to drink lager beer out of boot-jack, the press is out of order and we ain't well our selves; so please excuse poor paper this week." .l a 4 sl
 Ds~ A Western editor has placed over his marriages cut representing large trap, sprung, with this motto :: '.The trap down-another ninnyham- mer caught"
 ssg- "Boys, what is your father go-' ing to do ?'
 "Well, guess he's going to turn bankrupt I hearn him tell mother yesterday to go round to the shops and get trusted all she could, and do it straight off, for he'd got all ready tc bust up and go into the bankruptcy business.' rf isf-r4
 BsE@ "Here, you young rascal, walk up here and give an account of your self. Where have you been2' 3e
 "After the girls, father" r...
 "Did you. ever know me to do SO when was a boye'
 'No, sir-but mother did,"
 De~ "My dear" said an affectionate wife, "what shall we have for dinner to-day? ?' "Onc of your smiles" re- piled the husband; "I can dine on that every day.n '.But I can't replied the wife. "Then take this y and he gave her kiss and went to his business He returned to his dinners "This is an excellent steak" said he; "what did you pay for it?" "Why, whatyou gave me this morning, to be sure" replied | his wife. "The deuce you did" ex- claimed he, ..then you shall have mon- ey next time you go to market t
 pE- The Brandon Republican "gcts after" the Jackson, Miss, State Jour- nal as followsi 8Ham a
 The editor of the Jackson Nigger Organ says the people of the South .still hope that slavery may be again restored in all its pristine vigor and glory.p You know you lie, Duggan. You know there is not man in the State that would have his slaves back if the whole nation would agree to re- store them. We expect to hire Yank- ees to black our boots and drive our carriages hereafter.
 Das- Somebody shot the dog belong ing to the editor ofthe Princeton (Ky.) Progress. The editor returns his thanks as follows: 'sIf the two-legged, bob-tailed dog that shot our four-leg- ged, long-tailed dog on Tuesday night last, will call at our office, he can get his hide-tanned-muchly. Any one who will wait until dark night to shoot a pup that he knows wouldn't bite any meat it thinksis alive, wouldn't hesitate to steal blind Georges last five