The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-06-17

"
THR BACHELORS BABY.
TRUE STORY.
Mr.. Ellery Corban was very nervous
man. BE came honestly by The falling, fol
his mother was nervous before him.
Mr.. Corban was bachelor Of forty five, re-
markably well preserved, and rather fne-look.
ing. He had a portly figure and ford COM
plexien, and ahead of dark brown hair
which. any man might have been excused fol
feeling proud Of. Mr.. Corban was very well
off. He had never kept house; perhaps
he knewathat elderly bachelors and widowers
we're generally fated to marry their house.
keepers, and Mr.. Corban regarded marriage
and the gallows as about on par. Women
and babies he considered very unnecessary
part Of creation. The mystery Of their hav-
ing been allowed an existence he never could
solve. He could not help regarding their
creation as grave mistake somewhere. He
boarded at Mrs Gregg's, and had made his
home there for fifteen years Mrs. Gregg was
as much like man as she could b. and still
be a woman.
One day last summer it became evident to
Mr.. Corban that he must takea journey West.
The interests Of his business demanded it;
SO he put up few things into saliae, Eaid
good-morning to Mrs Gregg, and set out to
the depot. He was five minutes late, for bis
necktie had given him great deal Of trouble,
and he had been unable to find pair Of stock
ings ahich were not destitute Of toes. But
he had comforted himself with the reflection
that, as he had boots on, no one would be the
wiser in regard to the condition of his toes,
and at last he got off He heard the whistle,
and started on the run. If there is anything
calculated to put one out Of temper it is hav-
inc to run to catch the; cars; and our hero
may be excused if, when dripping with per-
spiration and completely out Of breath, he
rushed into the first car which offered he
was irritated with all the world, ainself in
cluded.
The car was well filed. In fact, there was
only one vacant seat, and that was beside a
woman. Corban tried to seek the next car,
but was met by the conductor at the door.
s'No room in there, sir, All full. Ami
versary meeting at Parkersburg; there is a
seat, sir p Indicating the one beside thc wo-
man
Corban was troubled with touch of the
rheumatism in his left knee, and could not
stand comfortably -nothing else could have
forced him to bet SO nssr enc Of the sex
He stepped up to her and made the stereoty-
ed inquiry
9.sIhis seat engaged?"
No sir" replied very sweet voice; and
Corbah' saw that the speaker had expressive
blue eyes and golden hair -
He took the seat, and the lady grew the
buudle size had been partially resting On the
cushion into her lap. =. =.
"Hstter let me put your bundle up on the
rack p suggested Mr.. Corban. =. Y :
Tbs lady opened her eyes in indignant
| anaaxehent, winged of a layer Of fanne
from the package, and displayed to the horri
fed eyes Of our bachelor friend the red, puff
fy face of moon-eyed baby.
| "Muzzer's little 'tweety sugar darling y
! she exclaimed in the dialect which is perfect
| 1y Ineligible to all babylon. "Muzzer won'1
let the naughty man put the little lammic
lump baby up on the rack p
The baby struck out menacingly with it,
fat fists in the direction Of Mr. Corban, anc
| gave utterance to yell Of triamph. Mr.
Corban broke into cold Precipitation. HI
had never been SO hear d baby In all his life
and baby and a woman, too It was al
most too much for him. -. - -.
Ks had a strong mind to stand the remain
/ der Of the way, or until somebody vacated
| a seat, but his knee gave an extra twinge, ane
decided him to try and endure the terribl,
state Of things. He took paper from hi
pocket and essayed to read, but the baby hat
lpnched out in one of those baby refrain
| which is like music in the ears Of all mothers
1 and the cooling 50 confused our bachelor herr
that he took no sense Of his paper; SO h,
pocketed it with the savage determination t.
/ petition the next Congress for women will
babies to be kept in cars by themselves.
t. EAt the first stopping place he was on tn
lookout for seat, and to his joy discovered
the gentleman In the next seat making prepa
rations to leave but before he was fairly GU
4 of his seat, an old lady, in green shawl ant
poke bonnet, had edged into it, and cutoff al
MIR. Corban's hopes. OF course, SAG turne,
round and began at once to talk to the baby
'sDear little chicken How old is it, marm?'
"Almost eight months" said the prou'
mother. g.
"Well, declare What's large child 0
its age! Why, there vas my Enoch, whe1
he was.a year, he warn a mite no grain big
gertffan that child. But then, Enoch, -hesha
! the whooping- cough, and the measles, and tn
I nettle-raSh,, and the, coilaretta,s infanticide
4 afore he. was eleven months And expee
i them diseases had scme effect on bis constitu
tion." 49, - 4
! II should think So" replied the baby
/ mother. vi
4 ssYou look tired, dear, went on the old Ia
/ dy; s'the baby must be dreadful heavy. VIII
don't you let his pa take hina 7" with an e1
! pressively reproachfEl glance at the savae
countenance of Mr.. Corban.
eIm not his pap grumbled Mr. Corba1
pulling his hat little further dcwn over h
L =