The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-07-12
For the Sunday Crescent
HASH As a CONSTANCE,
BY PEERYN PENNIFEATHER.

The lady in reduced circumstances at whose
boarding house meal has reduced the fare, and
l am consequently in a fair way to become re-
| duced myself. This action on her part, she saws
has been taken "to correspond with the times. -
Not that che expects to write letters to a
newspaper, but she merely wishes, in keeping her
boarding house, to be in keeping with "the
times" which are so entirely "out of joint"
Speaking of joints and reductions, reminds me
that she has reduced hash TO a science.
Now, on hash l am strong. 81 have had
wrongs to stir fever in the blood of age.u |
know it is said on good authority that man shall
not live by bread Alone but l can never be con.
WINGED that any reference was intended to hash.
Listen to my grievances and then condemn me-
if you can.
On the first day, which was Sunday, they had
roast beer. Good! thought I, for | like beef
That evening at tea they had slices Of roast beef
cold and cut thin-very cold and very thin Next
morning at breakfast, ditto. Well [ didn't mind
this much, because, as Beau Brummell said cold
roast peel Is better than nothing so was cheer.
tul and hoped for the best. That day az dinner
they had dry hash. Now, this was Just to nv
hand, for If there is anything in the lCOrLd have
weakness for it is dry hash. consumed il to a
degree which was evidently unpleasant to Mrs
Daiiooce, but she said nothing. Never a word
the day of vengeance was drawing near. she
trds tceI dlcdre that satisfaction would be hers
and with fendsh delight she chuckled over her
prQsnective "Dound of flesh" fhashad
Next DAY the retributOn set in. Ii was in the
shape OF hash. At breakfast they had hash. At
dinner they had stew, hut it was only hash dis
guised-nOt in liquor, but in water and oh such
water! think 1t was almost the thinest water
ever saw. At breakfast they had hash again,
By this time no one would eat it, so it went from the
table untasted. This was the point at which Mrs.
ID. aimed. 1t was her " objective pointD as we
were accustomed to say in those inconsderate
days some years ago when we used 10 think
about liberty. Not that mean she had any OBJ
lection to the point. Not by any means, for she
has made 1t quite an object-of aversion to her
boarders. In this state affairs rest. "For men
may come and men may 90, but hash goes on
forever" as the author of the The BROOKE 40
gushingly remarks. | am worn to a skeleton
and all through hash. gn-h-ssh nv teeth, but
IN vain. am horribly conscious of the approach
OF starvation under the nsidous guise of spoon
victuss and when seek relief find the mock.
ery-hash. sing to Mrs. d. sometimes in hope
10 mitigate her severity-and her hash. | say,
Has,h .t thou no f-e-eling!" and she answers,
Hash" reason with her, but her arguments
are overwhelming. They consist of-hash. What
am TO 90! L shall dIe-I know | shall. On the
ooard winch marks my humble resting place in
the porcelain manufacturers' agricultural inclos-
ure l desire some one of my friends to carve
neatly, but plainly, these plaintive words, "Died
OF Hssh.n Mem. As it is grave.y kind OF thing
he should be good carver)