The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-06-21
MORNING STAR AnD CATHOLIC xEssxxaxa
WIT AND WmDoM.
LEANS, SUNDAY, JUNE 81, 1885,.

SWEEP planeC-Ino honeymoon.
Words that burn-Rejected .communica-
tions. , ~
A movement in real estate-An earth
quake.
Cover a fool with gold and he will pass
current.
The paper containing many fine points
Avarice starves it's keeper to surfeit those
who wish him dead. ei1. H. t.l4
When is man thinner than shingle
When he is q shaving. ~
An interesting girl Lone whose money
interest is ten thousand.
A confectioner advertises broken hearts
for thirteen cents q pound.
Taken up for breaking and entering q
dwelling house-Haii- stones. l.=
An enraged man tears his hair; but an
enraged woman tears her husbands.
True greatness never seeks to eulogize
itself. 1t knows too well it's own Gttleness.
When are skipping lambs like library
volumes When they are b0undin' sheep.
A swans breast cannot be seen when he
swims, because it is SO much down under
water.
A girl with /" ringing laugh caused an
alarm Of fire out West. They took her for
belle. -
Bulwer says that it is justifable to steal
thought or phrase if you can improve
upon it.
If picture is well hung, does it follow
as O matter Of course that it is we'll ex-
ecutedf ~
Though men boast of holding the reins,
the women generally tell them which way
they must drive.
Now that you are on my side, I hope
that you will stick to me-" as the patient
said to the plaster.
We think that q man carries the borrow
ing principle little too far when he asks us
to lend him our ears.
Good men have few fears He has but
one who fears to do wrong. He has thou
sand who Overcomes that one.
Copundrum by a freedman-Why is
candle with "long nose" like contented
man? Because it wants muffin.
Why is wit like a Chinese lady's foot
Because brevity is the sole of it.
In committee of ladies, we have no
doubt but whatever is voted on is always
carried by handsome majority.
A Western paper says that an india
rubber omnibus is to be invented, which,
when cram full, will hold couple more.
In what stage of a mans existence does
he become musically inclinedf When he
makes overtures to his sweetheart, of course.
"When," asked an Irishman of a farmer,
"are ye in dangerous company" and
answered, when yer among the hay thin"
A Western paper publishes an account of
a hole on a hill side. The bank, it says,
fell in and left the hole sticking out some
ten feet.
1t is the opinion of the doctor that the
lawyer gets his living by plumber; while
the lawyer thinks the doctor gets his by
"pillage."
An editor out West gives notice that
"there will be no paper this week" as his
wife is using his scissors to half-sole his
cassimeres.
Electricity" said the scientific D.,
travels faster than light Yes" said
the reflective B., I" it is easier to shock than
to instruct"
Merit is never so conspicuous as when it
springs from obscurity, just as the moon
never looks 80 lustrOus as when it energies
from a cloud.
"Mr. Brown, owe you grudge, remem-
Der that" 81 shall not be frightened,
then, for never knew you to pay anything
that you owed"
understand all there is in love; however
Intelligent a man may be, he will never
know but half of it.
"Why is it, husband that whenever we
send for a pound of tea or coffee to the
grocer's, it falls an ounce short Z" ooh, it
is just a neigh he has"
If you want to make long story short,
ask the teller to begin at the end; in other
words, to give the tail of the tale first. 1t
is good method to punish bOres.
1t was wittily, but somewhat ungallantly,
said that q woman is somewhat the reverse
of her mirror-the one reflects without
talking, the other talks without rejecting.
Colorable.-" How do l look, doctor 2"
asked painted young lady of the family
physician. "I can't tell, madam, until you
uncover your face,' was the crushing reply.
A young lady who was reading a novel
the style. "The~ style-the stylef" was
the answer-"oh, sir, I've not come to that
vet