Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1868-08-12
Miscellany.

Thirteen of the United States and
Territories grow cotton.
The "Female Hose Company is a
new suggestion for the Woman's
League.
Timothie Trimm, Editor of the Paris
Petit Journal, has made 100000 by
writing editorials.
An Illinois paper says there is man
in Only so dirty that the assessors put
him down as real estate.
An editor in Illinois gives notice that
there will be no paper this week" as
his wife is using the scissors.
An Irish editor says he can see no
earthly reason why women should not
be allowed to become medical msn.
The minister who boasted of preach
ing without notes don't wish to be un-
derstood as referring to greenbacks.
A new York paper has a new motto
for a stage driver, which is classically
apt: Jam forte in omnibus"
What does telegraph operator do
when he receives the heads of impor-
tant news? Wait for de tails, of course.
The New York News Association SAYS
there are less than Us competent pho
nographic reporters in this country.
1t is said that the Editors Drawer in
Harpsr's Mag1ziHs is made up by a wo-
man. So are a great many editors draw
ers.
The editor of the Bristol (Va.) Meas
gave his printers a holiday on New
Years, because, as he said, he had
nothing else to give them.
The Cork printers propose to abolish
Sunday work in newspaper offices, by
'hsVing Monday mornings paper prin-
ted on Saturday night"
An editor at the South has purchas-
ed race horse at the expense of two
thousand dollars, for the purpose of
catching his runaway subscribers.
An editor speaking of his party, says,
''we're in a pickle now;" another adds,
"a regular JAM" and a third suggests
preserve u.s."
An editor, describing q church IN
Minnesota, says mo velvet cushions
in our pew; We don't 90 in for style"
The fattest person has the softest seat.
A million and forty thousand yards
Of calico were printed in North Adams
in March-a piece long enough to reach
from Massachusetts, Bay to Lake Michi-
gan.
A Western editor, in response to q
subscriber who grumbles that his NOR
ming paper was intolerably damp, says,
that it is because there is so much due
on it"
Aprinter, in setting up the sentence.
1--WE are but parts Of a stupendous
WHOLE" BY mistake Of letter made it
read, I'VE are but parts of = stupen-
dous whale"
Mr.. Burlingame says the Chinese
have more books, encyclopedias, pam
phlets, ETC., than any other people =
Their principal encyclopedia embraces
five thousand volumes.
A man in the country announces that
his golden wedding will come off just |
thirty years from now, and offers lib
eral discounton any presents his friends
then design to make him
A Minnesota editor says that man
came into his Office to advertise for a 1
lost dog, that such was the wonderful
power of advertising, the dog walked
into the Office while he was writing out
the advertisement.
Odd typographical errors are constant
ly occurring. A paper recently made
the surprising statement that two
thousand carloads of cats had come
East over Western railroads." The edi-
tor designed to say coats"
A printer, meddliug with the YER
dict of 3 cOroner's Jury, struck out
comma after the word "appoplexy,"
making thread thus: Deceased came
to bis death by excessive drinking. pro-
ducing apOplexy in the minds Of the
jury"
A paper in Indianapolis, Ind, pro-
poses that hereafter, instead of saying
"let US sing the Doxology," the minis
ter shall say, "let Us put on our over
coats, adjust our furs, slip on our gloves, p,
grab our hats, look 70 the Lord and be
dismissed"
A German tin and sheet-iron worker
once rendered bill to a captain for
Elm Sheidirums of bibe." The cap
tain puzzled long over the item, and so J
did his agent. Who would ever imagine
that the worthy Teuton considered that ! !
8 plain way of spelling zone sheet-iron .
stOve-Pipe." !
Louis Rickschen thus adYerlises his v
delinquent wife, in a Chicago paper:
my wife Barbara Ricksehen, nee Roes- .
lein, has either run away from Sme or Q
been stolen. shall smash the head of
The person who brings her back to me.
As do not pay my own debts, it is not 4
probable that shall pay hers" g
Among the obituary notices of an !!
Ohio paper, we find the following:- :
'Mr. William Jones, of Malta town
ship, aged eighty-three, passed peace L
'ully away, on Tuesday last, from sin gle i,
to matrimonial bliss, after n
. short but sudden attack BY Alice n
Blossom blooming widow of thirty il
i've" b
The Hampshire Gazetes of Northamp-
on Mass, now in the eighty-second I I
Iear of its publication, records the - -
leath of Eliphslet Packard, formerly .
# Cummington, who "has been a regu-
ar subscriber to that paper from its first
ssue," and observes that sit is doubtful e.
I to the day of his death a single copy l!
las escaped his notice." q q
An exchange says: I'VE were COM OIL
'elled TO refuse an offer of job print i
ng the other day by a man way back, a'
Who innocently called to get some post Of
ge stamps printed. He was quite dis pl
ppointed because we could not do the Pi
Tork; he wanted 'em real bad to put pl
N letter he wrote to gal, and it cost is is
90 much to buy 'em of the post-othce - -
ellers." -
A western editor relates story of sh
nan who bought lot of hogs in Illi-
Iois and drove them slowly to Chica- N
o. he was compelled to sell at loss A
{ S400. Returning home he was ask de
d by his neighbors what we're the prof ae
Is of the operation. well" said he, m
1 reckon didn't make much money teC
ut of the trip, but had The company
T the hogs 6olcn." n
The eloquent preacher of Scotland, m,