The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-02-21

@s MM ana 1ynmr
- Straws and ladies skirts show
which way the wind blows. TIT
3 - Advice sthe only kindro vice
that some people don't follow.
"a horse can't live on shavings.o
True but barber can. ~
- Commissioners of Charity and
Correction. City editors.
- The best lines to invest in-the
marriage lines. aatl =59s.4, / ''-f
Du ST love the STILL" said a quiet
husband to his chatty wife.
A counter evolution-strike a.
mong the dry goods clerks.Ial -qr
49, The real champions of the ring
mothers with daughters to marry.
- The only safety matches, are
said to be -;ch matches.
Natural artist-Hewers of wood.
and drawers of water.
- Why is an alsrm of fire in the
night like clothes brush Because
IL spoils the nap. y.l ls=
H7---l Don't take too much interest in
the affairs of your neighbors. Six per
cent will do. ~
Women are generally in quest of
something. Conquest seems to suit
them about as well as anything. ~
"What are you doing ~ said q
father to his son who was tinlle-ing on
an old watch. "Improving my time,
was the witty rejolnder. s'3 -n'
Z "Preventlon is better than cure"
as the pig said when he ran away with
his might to escape the killing atten-
tions OF the butcher. 5'ala ~ siH5
- Prentice suggest new test oath
for Congressman, that they shall swear
to support every thing outside tie con-
stituti0n. RI. l.fH ~
- Americans eat yearly forty-one
pounds Of sugar each, on an average.
They must eat more why one girl is
sweeter than that. 44 - s3a r'.-r.;
Quilp who has heretofore been
a universalist, now believes there are
two things destined to be ereraally
lost-his umbrella and the man who
stole it, rT
- When you pass door after nine
O'Clock at night and see young man
and q young woman; and hear a smack,
yon may bet your bottom, dollar the
man don't live there. ~ a9J a.
- At a colored party, Sambo asked
Diannah if he could help her to some
of the breast. 'Now, amt You shamed
Sambo to say breast before the ladies
III take piece OBJ de turkey BOSOM.
"A French surgeon has invented
means of illuminating the inside OF
mans stomach. 1t he could only in
froducc mis- apparatus into some peoples
heads, he would be benefactor to the
race. +t tffdTat ti.
] - Said lady of the court ;EssHow
is it General, that you seek for glory |
when you are already SO glorious ~
s'For the same reason my lady that |
you; though beautiful. use rouge" "a
"A green horn sat long time
very attentive, musing upon a cane |
bottom chair. At length he said 81 |
wonder what fellow took the trouble |
to find all them ar holes ard put them
straws around 'em.
nr--- Ridings on the railroad for the
first time, western gentleman, when
the conductor called for his fair, hand
ed him five dollar bill with the re-
mark "Let the thing get. ! don't
want any change. Never rode in the
keers before, and am willing to pay |
something extra for the fun J"
- MIR. Bolts feel nifty bad this
morning feelas if 1 was free no more
case de Conservative Mauzy am elect
ed over you. r<r.-.zsr,
q Botts-Do not eel.dispondent, you
are as free and as good this moment
as am. 5.H ''m ~
Negro-Yes, master Bolts, l knows
rs as good and free as you am, but l
want to be as free and as good as de
Conservatives. ...,-s.a5=
- Apropos to the walking mania
now so prevalent through out the coun-
try. Mr.. John Quill makes the follow
ing offer 81 will walk with any good
looking girl, who has n fortune in her
own right upon any given moonlight
night, both parties to go as slow as
please, and neither to hurry back to
the starting point. will then on the
word walk into her affections, and
walk off with her fortune.p v7r " IL
- The finest idea ola thunder {
storm extant was when Virgins came
home tight. Now Virgins is teach
err. and had been to a temperance meet !
ing and had drank too much lemonade
or something. He came into the room !
his wife and daughters, and !
ust then he fell over the cradle and
ell WHO'D OIL Iile HOOFs AlIcT u WHlie
ne rose and said, 'Wife are you hurt?"
mo "Grls are you hurt ~ 'No." !,
Terrible clap of thunder, wasn't it?"
- A landsman once said to sail
,r--s'Where dad your father die ?''- {
The sailor replied, son the sea. ~
'Well. are you not afraid to follow the
Tea as your business when 1t proved so =
fatal to your ancestors ?" sWelI, said !
.he sailor, and where did your father i
lie ? "In his bed" 'And Where did 8
,our grandfather die 20 sin his bed 5
Astonishing and are you not afraid e
% go to bed, wheu it proved so fatal to
your forefathers ?" The wisdom of
his world may see force in these ques- t.
ions.
- Everybody has a cold about this
lime, Smith and Jones among the
est. A street corner dialogue be- y
.ween them sounded something like I
his
Smith-How'd we do Jones !
Joues-Pedty dwell, Oddly | have a
,ad code. How are you Smdth
Smith, have soothing of q Good, too ]
,ut its getting dwell agaid.
Jones-What bediced did you take.
Smith, snufed up laudybub aud !
d bwater. Did you takesanythidgW . Y
,Toaes DO. lust grid and be ST t.