Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-07-28
Our Job Printing Department.
HOW TIT ENDEn
BY D. W. rrNDALL.

l doht Dei1eve word or 1t.
 "Dontl eh? Why, it is as true as we arc on this boat"
 "Pshawl Cy. You will try to marry within year."
 'No, sir. Not in ten years, or ten times ten, will be so foolish"
 ''So you are determined, Cy, to live and die a bachelor"
 '"Just so, Ed. No wife for me, and no ifs and ands about it. Am deter. mined to live, flourish and die bache- lor--a bachelor, too, of the old school type. Me have wife and lot oi squalling children? Never"
 "Of course, Cy, you have reasons for thus asserting that you arc no candi- date for matrimonial honors. Let's have them."
 "Ed. my reasons are numerous and are we'll worthy of being carefully studied by every single man. As we are brothers-in-law, and sister Hattie is with us, l am certain that my studied thoughts would be lost upon you; they are intended for unmarried men,"
 "But want to hear them. am all attention; proceed with your remarks ,
 "In the first place, then, I never ex- pect to be able to support wife in ease and comfort as a wife should be. Secondly, never expect to meet with woman who is true and tender, and who can or will love and sympathize with me when the dark days Of life arc at hand; a woman who would be true let come what would. Thirdly, con- sider all the duties incident te house. keeping bore. Fourthly, the risk a man runs in marrying vixen. AL most every third man nowadays mar rics an extravagant, heartlcss, indolent and deceitful woman instead of the perfect angel she pretended to be. Modern young ladies, and many ladies who are not so young, seem only to care for public admiration; they gab- ble French, chatter Italian, and cannot use good English. They are always eager to visit the theatre, opera or ball. room, but are willing that their aged mothers should work and worry in the kitchen while they entertain some silly Fitz John St. Simon in the drawing room. Furnish them with money. finery and places of amusement, and they care nothing for home and its blessings. They care far more for a word of praise from some wooden headed Won Noodle on the street than for the fond caresses of loving and devoted husband. Their education is of shallow nature; their accomplish ments are of doubtful importance ; they arc vain, deceitful, cunning, extrava- gant, inconstant, heartlcss, care"
 "Hold, Cy! Enough of this! I am satisfied; l am almost persuaded to wish that I, too, was bachelor. How nice it is to be alone in the wide ocean of life! Alone, sailing over the rough waves without anyone for company or council! How glorious! How nice 1! But it is my turn to make a speech Listen ye, and all of your kind. My words are the words of wisdom and truth. In the cabin below is my wife, who, three years ago, was Miss Hattie Mathews. She is all the world to me !; she is all that woman can be; tender, kind and affectionate. She is not as you represent the opposite sex to be. All your bitter invectives fail 10 reach her. Still she is no angel. She is a true and loving wife. What more could she be? There arc thousands of others who are far more perfect in manners, morals and actions than the men who so grandly abuse them. That there are many fashionable and foolish women none can deny; but the num- Der of such mon are not less. And who assists in making many young women what they are3 It is the men, young, unmarried men. Just such men, too, as my worthy auditor, Cyrus Mathews, Esq. Last night, as you well remember, there was social dance in the saloon below, and you was the leading man of the occasion. Time and again you danced with that silly coquette, Miss Avery. Every young lady on the boat desired your admira- ton, or, at least, a respectful notice from you. You associated and danced only with those who were fashionably arrayed and who put on style. yet there was not less than ten or a dozen just such young ladies present as you pre- tend to admire, still you did not notice one of them. Now what was their thoughts? They thought if ever they won your notice that it would be ne- cessary to dress as stylish, and, if pos sible, act as ridiculous as did Miss Avery. To plain, sweet Alice Armour you did not speak during the whole evening, and you well know that she is a girl of real worth. Yet because she dresses and acts as sensible woman should, you and your class of men pass her in silence. Such conduct is shame full. Had Alice Armour been fashion ably dressed, and left her invalid sister Agnes to herself, as Miss Avery did her sick mother, then would her com pany have been solicited for the dance. But because she was devoted sister, a modest good and sensible girl her presence was ignored. It won't do for men to find fault with women being foolish and acting as they do so long as the "lords of creation" admire, or pre-