The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-06-20
WIT AND WISDOM.

A TIGHT ht-Delirium tremens.
WHEs Is q woman's hair like a swans
breastf When it's down.
BUrLER is very bald, but he did not make
anything BY getting Woolley.
How long does a widow mourn for hus-
bandS She mourns for second.
Two divorces have been granted in Blnf-
ton, Indiana, on grounds thus stated by a
local paper ''ShOrtly after marriage Mrs
Fuller got in the habit Of going of to dances,
and refused to let her doAtiDg husband accom-
pany her Sometimes she went to dances
when there WASN'T any. Mrs. Dishong be-
came addicted to going into the woods in
search Of berries and remaining all day and
part Of the night. She finally left aud re-
rused to live with William, on the ground
that bis children were too much bother.o
NEAR San Francisco is restaurant"
where the proprietors are compelled TO adopt
strict rules regarding payment for meals, as
the public in that vicinity are 10 the habit
Of getting all they can without paying, and
IL allowed TO eat before settling they want
it charged. Reeensly stranger called in
and ordered SOUP The waiter brought IL
up, set it down, then held out bis palm.
"What for 7" imputed the stranger. "Pay,
sir" "What before | eat it Wait till 1
get through with the soup | will talk about
pay" That won't answer want pay
now" exciaims tire waiter. "Weil, II You
can get il before | see iit to pay, let's see
yoO," be replied, holding on 60 the plate and
and commencing 70 eat. At this the waiter
whips out of his pocket large syringe, in
serts the point into the soup, and empties
the dash before the astonished man can fully
recover from his anna ement at the strange
proceeding. Exit waiter IN triumph.
'nD you present vour account to the de-
fendanf inquired .agyer OF n client.
III did, your honor"
"And what did he say ~
He told me :. 70 to she devil"
sand what did you do then nj asked the
lwyer.
'Why, then came to you.''
A FARMER wrote as follows to a distin-
guished scientific agriculturiss, 60 whom he
felt under obligations for introducing 4 new
variety Of swine:
"ReSPect Y Sir,-I went yesterday TO the
cattle show. found several Digs of your
speeies. There WAS great variety OF hogs,
and | was surprised at not finding you
there
CosPLNENTAKY.-An erratie poetical
genius, about town, was highly delighted
the other day by the editors telling him lie
resembled Poe, the author of the Raven"
ado You really think So" ask ed the moon
struck sonnetter; Pray, in what 1spect 70
"Why, you wear your shirt-eollar upside =
down, and get drunk on gin and water"
GLEASISes FROM Don .QUIxoTrE.
well becomes beauty, and excessive laughter,
proceeding from slight cause, is folly.
Keep your mouth shut, anu your eyes
open
The brave man carves out bis own for
tune.
The devil turks behind the cross
There cannot be too much OF a good
thing.
A saint may suffer sometimes for a sinner.
Many 90 out for wool and return shOrn.
Every man that IL aggrieVed is allowed to
defend himself Dy al Laws, human and di-
vine.
Tr1.l is the mother Of history, the rival
of time, the depository Of great actions. wit
ness Of the past, example aud adviser Of the
present, and oracle OF f1rlre ages. N
A JAI1FoRsTA editor says be lately met a
grammarian who had just made tour
through the mines, cogitating thus: "POs-
tive, mine; comparative, miner superla-
tive, Minus
A LATE and ridiculous error in typ graphy
was that Of line Ia q programmes where,
for "Fhe burial of Moses" was substituted
"The barrel OF Molasses."