davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

TROUBLE ENoUGH.-A little darkey
was recently found sitting ON the stoop
of fashionable house not far from Sar-
atoga, crying pitilully.
"What's de matter wild you ?" asked
II cOlored woman.
"Muttcr nuH double trouble all ober
de house. Fader am drunk mudder
hab gone home wild cloze--sis broke de
looking glass wild de broomstick-de ba-
by got her eyes full Of kyan-pepper, and
little Ned Antony put de mustard on
de har for goose grease, put salt in
my tea for white sugar, and it makes
me sea sick. De dog licked Ncd's face,
and got his mouth full mustard, and
lies under de bed howlin. DE kitten
got her head in de milk pot, and cut
her head Off to sabe de pitchur, and den
hab to break de pitchur to get de head
out, and de way III get licked when
mudder come, home for setten de bed
aiire will be sin.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

a sCIIooLMAsrER, after giving one Of
his pupils sound drubbing for speak
ing bad grammar, sent him to the other
end of the room TO inform another boy
that he wished to speak to him, and at
the same time promised to repeat the
dose If he spoke to him ungrammatical-
ly. The youngster being quite satisfied
with what he got, determined to be eX-
act, and thus addressed his fellow pupil;
a common substantive of the mascu-
line gender, singular number, nomina-
tive case and in AN angry mood, that
sits perched upon the eminence at the
other end of the room, wishes to artc-
ulate II few sentences to you in the pres
ent tense"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
VOL. 2.....NO. SO.
BLO0MSBUEG DIRECTORY.

STOVES AND TINWARE.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

USEFUL HINTs.-To eXpel red ants
from any place, sprinkle it with ground
coffee.
Rich cheese feels soft under the pres
sure of the finger. That which is very
strong is neither good nor healthy. To
keep one that is cut, tie it in cloth,
and put it in a cool, dry place. Ifmold
appears on it wipe it off with dry
cloth.
Flour and meal of all kinds should
be kept in a cool, dry place.
To select nutmegs, prick them with a
pin. If they are good, the oil will in
stantly spread Ground the puncture.
Keep coffee by itself, as its odor af-
fccts other articles. Keep tea in close
chest or canister.
Bread and cake should be kept in Il
tin box or stone Jar.
soft soap should be kept in a dry
place in the cellar, and should not be
used until three months old.
Bar soap should be cut into pieces of
Il convenient size, and laid where it will
become dry. 1t is well to keep it sew
eral weeks before using, as it spends
fast when it is new.
The New York Observer tells of a
clergyman whose horse died of bolts.
Some of the worms were put into spir-
its of turpentine and other fluids com
monty fatal to vermin, but they were
not at all effected. They were then pu
into the juice of common potatoes, and
died instantly. Another horse in tn,
neighborhood was suffering severely
from bolts, when Il quart of potato juice
was poured down his throat, which
soon relieved him Of his pain, and ,
continuance of the treatment effected {
permanent cure.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

ED rEILow-soLDfEEs.
III MI IN hhor"
Alas, Door wounded comrades,
Did you think your work was done
When Won crnwlcd home sick and ragged.
From the field your prowess won?
NO you SUN are helu 10 serNlc'
anu as clowns oi iactiohs ring,
Nlor TRAITORS lhah you cohquereu
Lying o"li'us oiu S"" sine'
Totter forward on your crutchcs,
Withyou empty coutsleeves come,
furry up your shot torn bodies
At the tan of Shoddy's drum.
inous'i your iinios, 10 prop .he unloh'
10" soNe roeis, 'i"' was i"uB"t'
,,i, Sou' 'nio", W aoi N1 'noSeoui,uieiS
WHO were s'c"''hs "''i'e you ioush''
To the blundcrur of Vienna.
To the th,efof New Orleans.
And to On-to-Richmond Greeley,
Shout ccstatic 10 Ppnns,
-" ",""i'iH h'''''i'e'' """ e'""l"'
'''''' So"' ,O''''' '''V'' "''' ''"iN'
"'N' So"' ,,. i"nh' 'i'c WIZ Is M"S'''
-''''' i''''' '''''''' '''''' '''o ''i'''
VIII ye have these men for masters?
shall they lead you through the land.
Like IL caravan of monkeys
Taught to caper at command?
'". "'"l '' ""oHo 'ic'o, '""''"'''
,,,',, '"i,, 'no'iN 'iio "h''''
".' ~" s'o'"S t''o "csl"'
''' e''N '''''"S w ''H'
Make reply YOU shattered hcroc,
Against Rebel cannon flung
By our soft shell Alcxnnders
And mock C,nsars cast in dung?
,,., 9pu' 'i''e- eie" iiis"i'eiS
M, - "
I,. - w., ~. " "' e,''i '"',''''
'' :" "''''''o ''' '"'i' '''"
While ON rogucs who shaved your rations
Parties choicest flvors fall
Speculation farms your muscle,
Late the Unionss living wall.
,,h .'',,,,,, ,,,,.', w ,.,,,', ,',.
| ~, t.I,'
Iiynr,oI ,,cI,.,s ~ me ,n,y,,,
Tell the world my labeled comrnd,s
What returns per week you briur
To the Rodi,nls who slave vou
For whose chief you'r. asked to sing.
~" ''lcS grunge you ihehere WaSes,
h"" 'heE i'''eh on your sweat
''',u n "''''' .,'"9' sou nav. 70 ""r"'t
Wv i''''''''' w" sc''
Tel the world Potomacs Veterans.
WHO so .lutiringly were given
Leave TO l,uor :,t the Nation,
In ulnse vanguard YOU had strtven.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

AN officer who was inspecting his
company one morning spied one pri-
vate whose shirt was sadly bcgrimed.
"Patrick O'Flinn," called out the
captain.
"IIere, yer HonorW promptly re-
sponded Patrick, with hand to his cap,
"llow long do you wear II shirt ~
thundered the officer.
"Tweaty-eigh inches tong" was the
rcjoindcr,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

DINING NEXT DAY.-A Yankee left
his downeast village to visit Washing
ton. On his return he astonished his
neighbors by telling them how very
late people dined there, rs ut home
twelve or one O'Clock was the regular
hour.
"What time" he was asked, "do the
shopkeepers dine in Washington ?"
"Not till two, sometimes three"
"My, how late!' was the remark,
"And the well-to.do folk ?"
"Oh, thoy don't dine till four and
five"
my, how late, And the members
of Congress ?"
"Wall, guess they don't dine till
six"
"And the Senator's"
"Oh, not till eight and nine"
"My, how late! And the President,
what time does he dine?"
"Oh, he don't dine till next day"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

THE open boast of the Radicals that
they intend to use the money of the
Government to corrupt the voters, is
not an idle one it is nothing more or
less than what they have always done
when in power.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
Reptiles in the Stomach.

TIE Medical and Surgical Reporter,
speaking of the alleged eases of snakes
and other reptiles living in the stomach
OF human beings, says
Such stories are the consummation of
folly, and he. must be an ill-educated
doctor (if educated at all who could
send forth such a Jd1Tdgo of nonsense.
That Il very small reptile may crawl in
to child's mouth may be true; but
that any animal not bred III tie human
stomach, could live there any length of
time, is so utterly at variance with all
the laws Of physiology and digestion,
that none but ignoramuses ever credit
them. We have some pious frauds to
give on this subject but not now.
Physicians know that there are GER
tain entoza that exists ia the human
organism, and often cause distressing
symptoms and continued ill-health.
But that "snake," or toad, or other
reptile could maintain an existence in
the stomach for two hours, much less
two years, is fiction that our profess
sion should lose no opportunity tocom-
bat. Cases were reptiles are supposed
to exist in the stomach are most likely
of historical character, and the con-
tortions of the reptile, its "gnawing,"
and its violent efforts to escape from its
prison house are all imaginary.
We once had patient, very respec-
table lady, who fancied that she had
snake in her throat that was trying to
escape. She could feel it with her fin
ger! Would open her mouth and won
der that we could not see it and pluck
it out. She forwarned us that it was
of no use to try to convince her that
there was nothing there, for she knew
better. Had turned away several ply
sicians because they would not believe
her. There was nothing left but pre-
scribe something. We succeeded in
course of time, in relieving her partial
ly, at least, of the irritation of the
throat, but she insisted that our reme-
dies were bringing the reptile away
piecemeal
We have heard Of a case in which the
patient insisted that she had a toad in
her stomach. Her physician at last
admitted the statement, and prepared
to relieve her mind of the toad in this
way Giving her an emetic, he await
cd is operation; in his officiousness,
in supporting her head while she vom
tied, he managed to cover her eyes
while he adroitly threw live toad in
to the vessel. 1t was enough, the pa
tient, with 81 told you So" was cured
from that hour.
Such "pious fraud" was perhaps
cxcusable under the circumstances but
it is always better, and much more in Il
spirit OF our calling, if we can cure the
hallucination by removing the ill-health
that causes it.
q n
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

Executors and Administrators Notice $500 Au-
ditor's Notice $3.50. Other advertisements nser-
ted according to special contract.
Business notices, without advertisement, twenty
cents per line,
Transient advertisements payable I'm advance
all others due after the first insertion.
sg- II is in an cases, more likely to be Satisfac
tory, both to subscribers and to the Publishers,
that remttances and all communication respect
Ing the business of the paper. be sent drcc, To the
office of publication, All letters, whether relating
to the editorial or business of the paper,
and all payments for subscriptions, advertising,
or jobbng are to be made to and addressed
BROCKWAY Il FREEZE,
"C0iuomLidn ogce,"
BLooMsBURG, PA.
Printed ut Robi>ons Buildings, near the Court
House, by
c. NJ. vANDERsLICE.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
THE COLUMBIAN,
a Democratic Newspaper
IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING AT
BLOOMsBURG, PENN'A.

ian School of politics. Those principles will never
be compromised, yet courtesy and kindness shat
not be forgotten in discussing them, whether with
individuals, or with contemporaries of the Press
The unity, happiness, and prosperity of the coun-
try is our aim and object; and as the means to
secure that, we shall labor honestly and earnestly
for the harmony, success and growth Of our organ
izntion.
TERMS OF SuBsCRlrTIoH:-'rwe dollars year
If paid in advance. IT not paid in advance two
dollars ana fifty cents will be invariably charged.
or less one or three insertions $50; each subse-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
0RANGEVILLE DIRECTORY.

nR, q. a. MEGARGEL physician and surgeon,
~ Main ST., nest door TO Goods Hotel. Yl-n7
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
CLOTHING, &C.

y. MOYER, druggist and apothecary, EX-
4. change block Main st. NI-ni5
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18
CLOCKS, WATCHES, &C.

~ u. IItrI, druggist and apothccary, Rupert
H, hioct Nam ST.. west of Market. Nl-nl3
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1868-09-18

,AcoB NIFTY, dealer in stoves q ,nwore, Main
i n above court house, Nl-ni3
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
REAL ESTATE MATTERS.

Features Of the Market Yesterday-New York
Improved and Brooklyn Unimproved Pro-
perty-Sales.
Brooklyn property appears to survive its parent o.
this city In the interest and regard Of asprants for
freeholds and spectators In lots, as while but little
Of the latter except in the way Of partition or 'by
order of the Supreme Court referee, or executor
or administrator, comes now into the market, the
former is stil standing attraction at the auction
mart. Yesterday 1t formed the principal business
of Messrs. A. J. Bleecker, Son Co., at the Ex-
change, who were the only firm having any sale
there Of any considerable note. The lots
offered by them are situated in the Eighth
ward, in the vicinity Of the COney Island
cars, ana brought an average price Of
$4OO each, which, taken in connection with previous
sales, may be accepted as fair valuation. Besides
the above Messrs. Bleecker sold some improved
property on Crosby street at q good price, and
house and lot East Thrty-frst street not so well.
Mr.. j. Mcclure sold house and lot on West Thirty
sixth street apprecatvey. The attendance at these
sales was pretty fair and bidding lively. The follow
ing are the PARTICULARS
JOSEPH M'GUIRE.
story brown house the . Of 86th st.
28t Of 9Th av, lot 2Ox969 Mr. Leverdge $50
By A. BLrRoKzR SON AND co. - ~
East Slst st. house and lot No SO l4xhaH block, VIM
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
THE WEEKLY HERALD.

The Cheapest and Best Newspaper in the
Country.
The WEEKLY HERALD Of the present week, now
ready, contains the very latest European News by
the Cable up to the hour OF publications. Telegraphic
Dispatches from the Sandwich Islands, giving details
Of the efrects OF the terrible Volcanic Eruptions,
Earthquake Shocks and Tidal Waves which destroyed
entire villages, with fearful loss OF life; the latest
from Abyssinia giving details OF the English Assault
upon the Batteries Of King Theodorus also dispatches
from Central and South America Mexico and other
points: the latest proceedings the great Impeach-
men Trial OF President Johnson: full account Of the
Execution OF Samuel Mills for the Murder OF George
Maxwell, an old man, sixty-hve years OF age; Chap
ter of Suicides and other interesting news; the Cur
rent News OF the Week; the Fashions Amusements;
Varieties; Facetg; scientific, Artistic, sporting, Po.
litical, Religious and Literary Intelligence; Editoha
articles on the prominent topics OF the day; Our Ag
ricutural Budget Reviews Of the Cattle, Horse, Dry
Goods aud Boot and shoe Markets: Financial and
Commercial Intelligence, and accounts OF all impor.
tant snd interesting evcuis of the week.
TknMs--Single subscription 81; Three copies, 80;
Five copies, ss; Ten copieS, SIS; Single copies, i've
cents e.Cb. limited nunbal Of advertisements IN
serted In pe WEEKLY HERALl
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

Keepers of warehouses, $50; pvopriesors Or export
warehouses, S25.
exceed $4,000 $40, and 81 for each 600 IN excess
OF $4,000. V
Disttlleries Of OIL $50.
Dstilleries $500 for 200 barrels and 81 per barrel
Tor each additional barrel.
Rectthers rectying two hundred barrels or less OF
forty gallons proof spirits to the barre in each year,
$780, and ty cents for each barrel In excess OF two
hundred barrels.
Comp0unders Of liquors. SOS.
Retail liquor dealers, SIS.
wholesale liquor dealers, each $50, and on the an
nual sales $40 for each 81 900 in excess OF $1,000,
when sold otherwise than In original packages, and
$40 on every 81 900 In excess OF $26, 900.
$40.
Maltsters and malt dealers, when the annual sales
do not exceed $4,000, $50 and 81 for each $1,000 IN
excess OF $25, 600.
Brewers, 800.
Taxes on sales Of merchandise and mechanic pro-
ductiOn, 0ne-1fth OF one per cent over $1,000.
Special taxes are largely increased In many cases
and imposed on many branches Of business hereto
fore exempt.
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
Leaving for dividends. &c.

Leaving for dividends, ,&c.............. $500, 453
The payments Of the past year include $109, ,126 IN
nal settlement OF the Schuyler aud $50 01 for pur-
chase Of additional real estate In New Haven;
500 997 for additional equipment to cover depreca
tion $4,000 for retiring bonds; $274, 94 for mate
rtas purchased for the coming season. also $685. 200
was removed from 01ice last May,
The Directors close their report by acknowledging
that true policy requires that all just and reasonable
demands OF the public should be met In liberal
SPIRIT and that every facility should be extended TO
the travelling public consistent with due regard for
the interests OF the stockholders and being now re-
lieved OF the endorsements occasioned BY the
Schuyler fraud, they suggest that this road,
occupying the important and commanding position
which 1t does as the great trunk line between
New York city and the New England States, should
be provided with as little delay as possible with the
smoothest track, the best equipment and c0nve.
niences for ransactng its business Of any railroad
in the country. improvements tending TO this end
have already been commenced and with the ap-
prOval Of the stockholders will be carried forward
with all reasonable despatch. Ten new cars have
been ordered, 2600 tons Of Bessemer steel rail have
been purchased, and the most improved method OF
heating and ventilatng the Is being carried out
and many Of the passenger dep0ts will be enlarged
and improved or rebuilt.
The construction Of the proposed underground
railroads is hailed by the directors calculated to
facilitate the transit OF passengers to and from the
city OF New York by this route and on that account
will do much for the future prosperity Of the road
and the country through which 1t passes.
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
NEW YORK HERALD FRIDAY, MAY l5 lssa-rRlPLE SHEET

fined IN moderate demand lec alsc for powdered
SKEps--Calcutta ltnseed in demand, but 81
rather lower prices Sales bags arrive, 200 do
on private terms Clover, timothy and fax were quie ou'
19Hc.
TALLow.-The demand was fair and prices were frmer
The sales comprised 1lt,O00 ibs. at 12c l24c
WHIsKRY-Receipts none. The market remained dull
and nominal
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
rE'rr'....

CoFFHE-The market fpr Rio was moderately active but
heavy The sales were 62 bags, Molly on private terms
Other kinds remained dull.
rLoua AND IReceips, 2os bbls nour, ys72 do
oats and do peas The market ruled steady, under
fair demand from the regular trade and active In
qury for shipment Great Britain and continental Europe
with some demand for the West India Islands Extra State
the turn better without being quotably higher Cali
fornia -four quiet but steady The sales about
$4,000 bbs within the Of the quotations appended
For Southern -four the demand light prices
heavy sales 30 bbs Rye -four moderately active
rather higher sales 400 bbis Corn meal dull at
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
COMMERCIAL REPORT.

r. N.
CoTToN.-There . fair business contaminated In this
staple to-day the market Armer and prices
about Hc per To- higher. Exporters and speculaors
again the chief operation The sales were bales nclud
7S7 for export M for speculation 620 for spinning and
liz In transtu. Annexed the closing Quotations:
Utdinsis aud Mobile and Ne,o Orieans
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
THE NEW YORK AND NEW HAVEN RAILROAD.

Annual Report Of the Directors-Interesting
Facts for acknowledgements for the
Improvements Of the Road-New Cars, New
Rails and New Depots.
The officers Of the New York and New Haven Rail-
road have prepared their report for presentation to
the Stockholders at the annual meeting to be held IN
New Haven on Thursday next, 21st tnst., when an
election Of Board Of Directors will take place
The AFFAIRS OF the company are represented TO be
In very nattering condition, and win doubtless De
considered satisfactory to the stockholders. TWO
dividends of i've per cent each have been paid du-
ring the past year-one in July, 1857 and one In
January last-and another Of the same amount will
be paid in July next The receipts for the past year
show an increase over the preceding year OF $780,
249, while the transportation expenses coupon in
terest loss sustained BY operating the Canal Rail-
road and taxes for the same time show decrease
Of t220 2se thus leaving the sum Of $s14 as the
net profits for the year applicable TO dividends and
permanent improvements to the road and equip
soc expended Tor new engines and cars also the
sum Of 80 228 expended In the erecuon OF new
dePots e. STANFORD and Eorwalk st leaves ave as t9e
Income nom transportation Of passengers g. ee2 e41
Income from transportation Of freight. 321.611
Income from transportation Of mails and
Income from other sources ............... N700
Total. $221s,5 500
Expenses for fuel, OIL haulage, insurance,
salaries, repairs OF road, bridges, build 49,
ings engines, cars, ,Gc.,.............$ 81, OFT 427
Balance e...................... ,Os1
Deducrng 1Or taxeS.... ........... .$l46,Zlz
Deducting for coupon interest. 80. 64,425
Deducting for loss on Canal Rail-
$22e.4O1
Leaves as net gain. se14,eso
Paid for new engines and cars. $69,997
"A1 Ava ~" "'po'' -, S114.22e
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

JACOB THOMPSON IN LUoK-The United States
supreme Court has decided a copartnership case
IN favor OF Jacob Thompson. The Washington
Gnr0nscse ~ saysIyacob Thompson, the rebel agent
the United States, is the only one Of the plaintiffs in
error In this cause who takes an appeal from the
Judgment below. No question was. made to his
right to sue In the courts Of the United States by the
objection to his appeal that he Is an unpardoned
court is Mr.. ThompsOns favor and reinstates him
In the possession Of very considerable interest In
lands In his Mississippi. Mr.. Justice Field
delivered the opinion OF the court"
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
NAVAL INTELLIGENCE.

The steam frgate Richmond is fitting out at the
Charlestown (Mass) Navy Yard with all despatch,
preparatory to taking her departure for the Gulf OF
st. Lawrence where she Is 70 cruise In the interests
OF the American fisheries.
The steam fripate Lancaster 1t is reported In naval
circles will be Overhauled this summer and Will JOIN
the Mediterranean neet under command OF Commo-
d0re Radf0rd, early In August.
Captain Davis OF the brig Gipsy, which arrived
here yesterday reports that the United States steam
er Mon0ngahea, now ashore at st. Croix, would
positively be a1oat ON the evening OF the I'd inst
The Monongahela, 1t will be remembered, was cast
ashore by Q tidal wave caused by an earthquake.
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

10 months slol ess, $40 sl5l ela s147 s15, ,esl
EXP. Of SPECIE. 1S,286,20A 26,69e,606 4S,650,027
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

The importations iorthe months ending April so
in this and the two previous years were as sub
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

Total exports s23 500 s7o $2o 24,s7s $40 s34 $50
Do excl ofspece. 23 81 096 17S63,596 14739,2l0
The exports exclusive Of specie, for the first ten
months Of each Of the last three fiscal years were
uaIued as understated.-
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

4 INWARD FCRN1TURE AND BAGGAGE Ex-
~. press, and " Bank street near Bieecker street
Moyng o. furniture, city county, with furniture
storage.
The New York herald., 1868-05-15
CIGARS AND TOBACCO.
EXPRESSES.

I0n nOn CIGARs-FRON s10 TO 800 A 1ooo,
lVO.UVV for cash ouly. o. CHE EKS, Agent New
YORK Cigar Manufacturing Company, 20 Murray street
The New York herald., 1868-05-15

A r. G. BrRNfiAMS FURNITURE. BAGGAGE Ex-
press l.i llj 10 West Eleventh street, between fh
anu S,th avenues Large cnferrt wagons for moving f
h,tre w Guy ur county Panotes Furniture packed Ano
sh'ppeo. f~n1uAe stored kvnsy advanced s.