Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1868-05-08

that would make trouble for us all. No,
don't bother about a post-office in your.
camp. have your best interests at heart,
and feel that it would only be an ornamental
folly. What you want is nice Jail, you
know nice, substantial Jail and free
school. These will be lasting benefit to
you. These will make you really contented
and happy. will move in the matter at
once Very truly, etc,
"tMARK TWAIN,
''For James w. Nye, U. S. Senator.
THAT is the way you answered that let
ter. Those people say they will hang me
if ever enter that district again; and I
am perfectly satisfied they aoiA, too"
"Well, sir, did not know l was doing
any harm 1 only wanted to convince
them"
"Ah. Well, you did convince them, /
make no manner of doubt. Now, here is
another specimen. gave you petition
from certain gentlemen of Nevada, pray
ing that would get bill through Con
gress incorporating the Methodist Episco-
pal Church of the State of Nevada I told
you to say, in reply, that the creation of
such a law came more properly within
the province of the State Legislature and
to endeavor to show them that, in the
present feebieness of the religious element
in that new commonwealth, the ex-
pediency Of incorporating the church was
questionable. What did you write?
WASHINGTON, Nov. "a, 1867
IS Rev. John Halifax and others:
q GENTLEMEN: You will have to go to
the State Legislature about that little spec
ulation of yours-Congress don't know
anything about religion. But don't you
hurry to go there, either; because this
thing you propose to do out in that new
country isn't expedient-in fact, it is simp-
ly ridiculous. Your religious people there
are too feeble, in intellect, in morality,
in piety-in everything, pretty much. You
had better drop this-you can't make it
work. You can't issue stock on an incor
poration like that-or if you could, it
would only keep you in. trouble all the
time. The other denominations would
abuseit, and "bear it, and sell it short"
and break it down. They would do with
it just as they would with one of your sill
fcI LllutS Out tucIc-Iuty WOulll lily W
make all the world believe it was "wild-
cat" You ought not to do anything that
is calculated to bring sacred thing into
disrepute. You ought to be ashamed of
worcestershire is what think about it.
You close your petition with the words
And we will ever pray" / think you
had better-you need to do it.
VERY truly, ETC.,
$3.50 80 MARK TWAIN,
IT "'For James w. Nye, U. S. Senator
That luminous epistle finishes me with
the religious element among my constitu-
ents. But that my political murder might
be made sure, some evil instinct prompted
me to hand you this memorial from the
grave company of elders composing the
Board of Aldermen of the city of San
Francisco, to try your hand upon-a me-
mortal praying that the city's right to the
water-lots upon the city front might be es-
tablished by law of Congress. / told you
this was dangerous matter to move in. /
told you to write nom ommittal letter
to the Aldermen-an ambiguous letter-a
letter that should avoid, as far as possible,
all real consideration and discussion of the
waterloo question. If there is any feeling
left in you-any shame-surely this letter
you wrote, in obedience to that order,
ought to evoke it, when its words fall upon
your ears:
WASHINGTON, Nov. ~, 1867.
'.s To the Hon. Board of Aldermen, ETC..
GENTLEMEN: George Washington, the
revered Father of his Country is dead
His long and brilliant career is closed, alas
forever. He was greatly respected in this
section of the country, and his untimely
decease cast gloom over the whole com
munity.. He died ON the 18th day of De-
cember, 1899. He passed peacefully away
from the scene of his honors and his great
achievements, the most lamented hero and
the best beloved that ever earth had
yielded unto death. At such a time as
this, you speak of water-lots what lot
was his.
"What is fame? Fame is an accident.
Sir Isaac Newton discovered an apple fall
ing to the ground-a trivial discovery,
truly, and one which a million men had
made before him-but his parents were in
fluential, and SO they tortured that little
into something wonderful,
and, 10! the simple world took up the
shout, and, in almost the twinkling of an
eye, the man was famous. Treasure these
thoughts.
'Poesy, sweet poesy, who shall esti-
mate what the world owes to thee!'
g Mary had little lamb, its fleece was white as
And everywhere that Mary went the lamb was
sure to CO.
- Jack and Gill went up the hill
To draw pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Gill came tumbling after.
For simplicity, elegance of diction, and
freedom from immoral tendencies, / regard
these two poems in the light of gems.
They are suited to all grades of intelli-
gence, to every sphere of ,life-to the field,
to the nursery, to the guild. Especially
should no Board of Aldermen be without
them. I
( "'Venerable fossils! write again. Moth
ing improves one so much as friendly cor
respondence. Write again-and if there
is anything in this memorial Of yours that
refers to anything in particular do not be
backward about explaining it. We shall
always be happy to hear you chirp.
every truly, ect.,
MARK TWAIN.
For James W. Nye, q. s. Senator
That is an atrocious a ruinous epistle !!
Distractionp
"Well, sir, 1 am really sorry if there is
anything wrong about it-but-but-it ap-
pears to me to dodge the waterloo ques-
ton"
nodro tho ,,o;oobiaft oh t-h,,t nepor