The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1868-03-05
WomRn-Mark Tvvain's Opinion
OF Her

w vOkk1Hu-NU&3EA 1vVaknS
Of Her.
At the annual banquet of the Washing
ton correspondent club, held on the night
of the 18th inst, the Star reports the
twelfth toast as follows:
"Women: The pride of the professions,
and the jewels Of ours"-was responded
to by Mr.. Clemens, better known as "Mark
Twain"
Mr.. Twain remarked as follows:
Mr.. President-I do not know why
should be singled out to receive the great
est distinction of the evening-for so the
Office Of responding to the toast of woman
has been regarded in every age. Ap-
plause.1 l do not know why I have re-
ceived this distinction, unless it be that /
am a trife less homely than the other
members of the club. But, be this as it
may, Mr.. President; / am proud Of the po-
sition, and you could not have chosen any
who would have acceped it more gladly, or
labored with heartier good will to do the
subject justice than I. Because, sir, l
love the sex. Laughter.] love all wo-
men, sir, irrespective Of age or color
Laughter.
Human Intelligence can not estimate
what we owe woman, sir. She sews on
our buttons, laughter she mends our
clothes, [laughter,] she ropes US in
at church fairs--she confdes in US,
she tells whatever she can find out about
the little private affairs Of the neighbor-
she gives us good advice-and plenty of
it-she gives Us piece OF her mind, some
times-and sometimes all Of it-she
soothes our aching brows. In all the re-
latiOns of life, sir, it is but just and a
graceful tribute to woman to say that she
is brick Great laughter.
Wheresoeyer you place woman, sir,-in
whatsoever position or estate-she is an
ornament to that place she occupies, and a
treasure to the world. Here Mr.. Twain
paused, looked inquiringly at his hearers
and remarked that the applause should
come IN at this point. 1t came in. Mr.
Twain resumed his eulogy.1 Look at the
noble names of history! Look at Cleopa-
ira Look at Desdemona! Look at Flor
ence Nightengale! Look at Joan of Arc (!
Look at Lucretia Borgia [Disapproba-
tion expressed "Well," said Mr. Twain,
scratching his head doubtfully, Suppose
We let Lucretia slide. Look at Joics
Heath. Look at Mother Eve! CCriss
of "Oh!" "Oh!" You need not
,ok at her unless you want to, but,
(said Mr.. Train refectively, after a
pause Eve was ornamental, sir-par-
ticularly after the fashion changed 1
repeat, sir, look at the illnstrious names of
history Look at Widow Machrce
Look at Lucy Stone! Look at Elizabeth
Cady Stantonl Look at George Francis
Train [Great laughter And sir, 1
say it with bowed head and deepest ven-
GRAFTON, look at the Mother of Washing
ton I. See raised boy that could not lie
could not lie. [Applause.] But he
never had chance. [Oh! OH 1t
might have been different if he had be-
longed to a newspaper correspondents
club. Laughter, groans, Kisses, and
cries of "put him OUT" Mark looked
around placidly upon his excited audience
and resumed.
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position
you place woman, she is an ornament to
socity and treasure to the world. As a
sweetheart she has few equals and ne su-
periors-[ laughter ]-as a cousin she is
convenient; as wealthy grandmother
with an incurable distemper she is too
precious Jas wet nurse she has no equal
among men Laughter.
What, sir, would the people of the
earth be without woman? They would
be scarce, sir, almighty scarce! Then let
us cherish her-let us give her our sup
port, our encouragement, our sympathy
ourselves, if we get a chance. Laugh
ter 4o5 5.5
But, jesting aside, Mr.. President, wo-
man is loveable, gracious, kind of heart,
beautiful-worthy of all respect, of all es
tecm, of all Difference. Not any here
will refuse to drink her health right COR
daily in this bumper of wine, for each
and every one of US has personally known
and loved and honored the very best of
them all-his own mother! [Applause.] ]