Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1868-06-23
Disease Called LOce.

When is old cheese like dollar? When it
is all-mitey.
Some fisherman use cotton for bait, SO do
some women.
When is a blow from lady welcome? When
she strikes you agreeably.
When is a steamship like a very exacting
man? When she's screw.
Some one calls the time of squeezing girls
hands the palmy season of life.
Why is man that fails in kissing lady like
shipwrecked fisherman? Because he has
lost his smack.
A lady asked gentleman how old he was.
He replied, "What you do in everything. y
What was his age?-XL.
A lady who was startled out of sleep by some
one trying to enter the house, cried out, who
is there?' Your late husband, y was the re-
ply. So.
Why is man taking off his hat on sultry
day like a childless King near his death? Be
cause they both want little air (heir) for their
crowns.
II hope this hand is not counterfeit" said
lover as he was toying with his sweetheart s
fingers. 1.-The best way to find out is to ring
it, was the neat reply.
Whatever may be the end of man, there can
be no doubt, when we see those long trains
gracefully sweeping the floors and roads, that
the end OF woman is-'Dust.
A KNOWING BoY-''You want a Aogeing.
that's what you do said parent to his un-
ruly son. Il know it, dad; but I'll try and
get along without it, returned the boy.
A crusty old bachelor, not liking the way his
landlady's daughter had of appropriating his
hair oil, filed his bottle with liquid glue the
day before ball, to which the girl was invited
She stayed at home in consequence.
A Miss Joy was present at party recently,
and in the course of the evening some one used
the quotation "A thing of beauty is ioy for
ever, when she exclaimed, s'I'm glad I'm not
beauty, for ! should not like to be Joy for
ever. -
An editor and his wife were walking out in
the bright moonlight one evening. Like all
editors wives, she was of an exceedingly poetic
nature Notice that moon; how bright and
calm aud beautiful? ?" Could not think of
noticing it, returned the editor. for anything
less than p cents line. y
A little girl about four years old and little
hoy about six, had been cautioned not to take
away the nest egg; but one morning when they
went for the eggs the little girl took it and
started for the house Her disappointed
brother followed, crying Mother mother
Susey been and got the egg the old hen meas
urei by.
LOST HIS HoRsE-The following notice is
said to have been written by gentleman from
Germany:
Won night de oder day, ven l was been
awake in my sleep, hears something vat links
vas not JUS right in my barn, and | ust out
shumps to bed, and run nit de barn out, and
ven was deere COON [ sees dat my big gray
iron mare he vas been tied luse and runs unit
de stable off, and every who vii him back bring
ust so much pay him as vot bin customary. "
NEW STYLE OF SCULPTURE by
a grave-stone cutters yard the other day, we
happened to hear a conversation between
friend, who is an artist on monumental marble.
and an old gent of the ''original Teutonic per-
suasion. Says he, Mr., | wants doom stone
tor my wife vots det and | wants you make
him init little angels on" ''All right" re-
piled the accommodating artist, and the price
was arranged. We'll, now," said he, what
do you charge for one doom stone for me, as ]
dies soon too and may as well get him now ?''
The price was fixed, and the old man, turning
to go, .said Oats all right, I gives you dat,
but mind, Mr., [ wants my little angels NIT
ktnU, n