The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1868-03-24
How they Do 1t, and What 1t Is
when DOne--American States
mansIlip Illustrated.
TFor the Spirit.

when DOHGssAE AMERICAN StatGSs
manship Illustrated.
Down in the Poland of Mississippi an
unsophisticated man named McArdle
wrote an article fer anewspaper in which
he advised the respectable white people
of that bayonet governed dependency to
have nothing to do with a sort Of Con-
stitution which the Negroes there we're
getting up to punish the whites with.
This newspaper article met the eye and
ire of ore of the highly esteemed pimps
and spies which our fatherly Congress
has set over that people, and he immedi.
ately lassoed Mr.. McArdle, and dragged
him before little shoulder-strapped
chap who called himself Military Court
McArdle- was unable to prove that he
had visible admixture of Negro blood
in his veins, so the honorable Court was
reluctantly compelled to send him to a
dungeon.
Now this MoArdle, not being "educa-
ted up" to the prevailing ideas of Radi-
calism, had, as Thad. Stevens expressed
lit, "some splinters of the Constitution
sticking in his gizzard." He was not
aware that such provisions of the Con-
stitution as the following had become OBJ.
solete:
"Congress shall make no law respect
ing an establishment Of religion or pro-
lhibiting the free exercise thereof; or
a6ridging the freedom Of speech or of the
press"
"In all criminal prosecutions, the ac-
cused shall enjoy the right to speedy
and public trial, By an impartial jury Of
the State or district wherein the crime
shall have been committed"
Under the delusion that by some means
or other the Constitution ought to have
something to do with the Government Of
the country, McArdle managed to get his
case before the Supreme Court Of the
United States. As it involved the con
stitutionality of the reconstruction acts,
HI was argued by the ablest jurists in the
United States. The arguments being
completed the Court took time to dslibe-
rate, and prepare an opinion. By some
unaccountable means 1t came to the long
ears of the Radical engineers Of Congress
that the decision would overturn their re-
construction acts and spill out the con-
tents-Negro supremacy, military des-
potism, and the seventy electoral votes
which are cooking for Grant
Dismay and utter despair would have
appalled, common folks, but behold the
resources of genius (born in a place COM
mencing with hD
There was little bill laying around
the tables or Committees of the Rump,
providing for putting the collectors Of
internal revenue on the same footing in
certain respects with the collectors of
customs. 1t was Of little Importance,
but was entirely unobjectionable.
The noble.souled Schenck meekly
begged the House to allow this little
measure to be taken up out of its regular
order: Nobody objected. The innocent
little bill was carried to o corner of the
room, and an innocent looking amend
ment was attached to it, whereupon it
passed without attracting any notice
| whatever. Itwas sent to the Senate, and
there kept carefully concealed until eve-
ming, when as that body was about to ad-
journ, and all the Democrats, but two,
had left, it was drawn from its pigeon
hole and passed.
Now what was this innocent little
amendment Oh, nothing scarcely. 1t
was only an act declaring that the Su-
preme Court should have no jurisdiction
on appeal from Circuit Courts-iu other
words an act to prevent the Supreme
Court from declaring the reconstruction
laws UNCONSTITUTIONAL
Not dozen members in both branch
es knew the magnitude of the measure
until tie next day when the noble-souled
Schenck enlightened them.as to the pleas
ant joke he had perpetrated, at the same
time gyratiDg his stubby fingers on the
end of his stubby nose.
The "knob' to the joke is that it
would have been impossible for the
Rumpers to have introduced new bill
and worked it tthrough,in time to head
off the decision Of the Court.
The effect of the innocent little meas /.
ure is to continue the unconstitutional
law in force, and to send the deluded
McArdle back to his dungeon, where he
will have abundance of time to contem-
plate the beauties and glories of free con-
stitutional government, and the exalted
grandeur and angelic purity of American
craftsmanship. TOMMY HAWK.
s.elrs5r : = = =, = -