The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-22
dIrif. amS Dutttur .

dIrif. an6 Duatur.
- Light infantry--lean babies.
"A good Joke on a drunken man
"a cell.
The country for angry people
IRELAND.
The country for lovers--the isle
of Sob.
Absence makes the heart grow
fonder--of some other Teller.
"Did your wife have an income
last year ?" asked an internal revenue
officer. sYes she had twins--both
girls"
- Franklin seIzed tightening by
the tail, held it fast, and tanned it,
Morse put clothes OH it, and taught it
to read and go on errands.
= A Louisville vagrant who has
been fined regularly every week for
drunkenness, requested the magistrate
to fine him by the year at reduced
rates.
OF all the young women men,
toned in the Bible, Ruth seems to have
treated her sweetheart the the worst.--
She trod ON his corn and pulled his
ears.
A stricken swain in describing
the ardor of his passion, says he made
love like two bonded warehouses in
flames on dark windy night, and the
fre-alarm out OF repair.
= Fowl culture is receiving atten-
ton in Paris. "I've got a hennery"'
lately said great lady TO her cousin.
"Dear me thought his name was
Charles"
- 'sJim, get up, the day Is break
ing." "veryGwell let It break, it owes
me nothing" Interval oftwenty min
utes. ''Jim, Jim, here the sun is up
before you." very well, sir, he has
further to go than have"
- Two young ladies and an Irish
gentleman were conversing ON age,
when one of them put the home ques-
ton. (which Of us do you think is the
elder Mr.. G-?" "Sure replied the
gallant Hibernian, ''you both look
younger than each other"
When a good wife had prepared an
excellent DINER for her husband. and
he declared he liked it, she said. "Well
kiss me, then.' "Oh never mind tina.
nay DEAR" was his reply, "the necessa-
ries of life we must have, but the lux
uries we can dispense with"
"My son would you suppose the
Lords Prayer could be engraved in
space smaller tran the area Of a nickel
cent pn
"Weli yes, father, IL a cent is as big
in everybody's eye as 1t is in yours, /
think there would be no difficulty in
putting it ON four times"
- "Facts are stubborn things"
said lawyer to female witness un-
der examination. The lady replied
"Yes, sir, and so are women, and if You
get anything out of me just let me
knowit."
"You'll be committed for contempt"
Every we'll, I'll suffer justly, for /
feel the utmost contempt for every law
yer present.
Halo boy, did you sec anything
of rabbit across the road ?"
"a rabbit J"
"Yes. rabbit"
"Was 1t a kind of gray varmens."
Eyes, yes"
IA longish cretur with short tail 2"
.'Yes be quick or he'll gain his bur-
row."
~Had it long legs behind and big
ears ?"
Eyes, yes, and sorter jumps when he
runs"
"well, haint seen such a cretur
about here"
An Arkansas paper gives the
following as sample of negro grammar
down South.
Imperfect have done it. You uns
done 1t. He done it.
Plural-We uns done it. Thou donst
it. They uns donst it.
perfect-I gone done it. You gone
done 1t. They gone done it,
Plural-We uns gone done it. You
ms gone done it. They uns gone
done it.
Pluperfcct-I done gone done it.
You done gone done it. He done gone
done it.
Plu alive uns done gone done it.
You uns done gone done it. They done
gone done it.
Future-I gwyne done it. YOu
gwyne done it. He gwyne done it.
Plural-We uns gwine done it. You
ms gwyne done IL. They uns gwyne
done it.
Future Perfeet-I gwyne done it,
You uns gwyne gone done II.
Plural-We ms gwyne gone done it
You uns gwyne gore done it. They
nns gwyne gone done it,