The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1868-06-16
Eggs ON the Brain.

Mr.. Simon Walters was the possessor
OF fine little farm in the Western part
OF Massachusetts,, and better natured orI
more joYial fellow was not to be found in
the State. He was an intelligent and
perseyering man, and by his own exer-
tions had accumulated quite . fortune,
with which he was enjoying the world tol
the extent of his inclinatiens.
Simon had one peculiarity. He took
great delight in being the owner of rare
breeds of poultry. and at the time Of our
story his barn yard was well-stocked. In
the spring they began their season of lay
ing, and eggs we're then used in some
manner at every meal at the farm house,
leaving large number to be sold weekly
to the village store.keeper.
When the summer months came the
farmer hired young man, who lived
with his parents down the road short
distance, to help him, and the man he al
ways kept on hand during haying and
harvesting. This young mans name was
John, and his was a sportive disposition,
he frequently Hsquaring of" and asking
his employer to abox," to which the lat
ter would respond by standing up, and
endeayoring to knock off his opponents
hat.
Soon after the engagement of John the
number of eggs brought from the barn
daily was considerably less than it hith-
erto had been, and the farmer immedi-
ately suspected the young man of taking
q few home with him every night.
"John," said he, one evening, ado you
look veil after eggs? Those hens must
lay somewhere"
Yes, sir; but don't think I find as
many as Ishould according to the number
Of hens"
'sNor I, either. notice that that black
one don't lay in the manger any longer;
perhaps she has gone up in the haymow.
And saw one Of the speckled ones cack-
ling in the window of the west shed this
smorning-you just go up there some time
tomorrow, and see if you can't find the
nest, will your"
"Yes, sir, " and John started for home.
Quite early the next morning Mr.. Wal
tiers looked around the shed himself, and
found nest containing about a dozen
eggs, which he carried to the house. He
then took few rotten ones, and washed
them off nicely, SO as to make them look
as if newly laid, and placed them in the
nest from which he had taken the Others.
During the afternoon John went up in the
shed, and after spending about fifteen
minutes in looking for eggs. he came
down and reported that he had found
none. Farmer Walters thought he knew
better, but said no more than that sit was
very strange"
In the evening be watched young John
and saw him go .slyly up ir the shed, and
soon re-appear with the rotten eggs; which
he put in his hat. carefully placing the
latter upon his head. The farmer then
started Of, and by circuitous route came
to path which John generally followed
when going home. Soon he heard foot
steps, so he started to traverse the path
as if be we're on bis way to the barn.
Presently be met the young egg-stealer.
"Come, John, let us box little, said
Mr.. Walters, squaring off, and standing
in readiness to indulge in the young
mans fayorite sport.
"No, no, not now. I'm in hurry to
get home" replied John, trying to pass
the farmer.
But the latter couldn't see it thus, for
he had set his mind on having little
fun at Johns expense, and he was not to
be baked in that manner, SO he gave
him a slight tap on the ear. The young
man retreated few steps, but was fol-
lowed by Mr.. Walters, who this time de-
livered sumner directly on top of the
well filed hat, then in quick succession,
came another and still another, until the
late stately standing felt was laying fiat
upon the unfortunate fellows Uranium.
We doubt if it was ever before the. lot
of man to behold such countenance as
John possessed at that time. The saffron
coIored liquid filled his eyes and mouth,
and trickled, ike unto miniature water
falls, from nose and chin. His healthy
looking cheeks had an abundance Of col
or added to them, and his auburn locks
were besmeared and matted together with
the gummy substance, while the coarse
and dirty apparel was beautifully streaked
With amber.
Mr.. Walters laughed till his side
ached; then steneh, strong enough to
perform the Office of emetic, greeted his
nasal crgan and he was obliged to place
the thumb and forefnger Of his right
hand upon the latter important append
age and put large space of ground be-
tween himself and the unfortunate John.
The latter stood for a moment appall-
ed and dumfounded, but soon rallied and
soughth his home, where he was greeted
byIparents, brothers and sisters not with ex-
clamations of sympathy and wonder, but
with upturned noses. They Immediately
went to work, however, and secured the
traces of his discontinue from his per-
son, at the same consigning the farmer
to various places to which no man would
care to go, and cursing his strange freak
We may as we'll add that John never
stole any more eggs, for he had been
taught lesson that lasted him during
the remainder Of his life.
There are $4,000 Seotehmen in Lon
don.
.n4.i1