Smyrna times., 1868-01-22

with being jug with one handle after lit
tie while, man who got himself on two horns
of a dilemma was represented as jug with
two handles, but it was reserved for the doc
tor to make the best use of the joke; fora bro
ther having risen who was rather famous for
non-committalism, and who, on this subject
was nowhere, DIR. Bethune said, "we have had
jugs with one handle and jugs with two han
dies, but here we have a jug with no handle
at all.
A Scotch Story.
One of his Scotch stores ran as follows: it
related to the times of Claverhouse, when the
poor Covenanters we're so fearfully prosecuted
by his dragons !: A Scotch lad was reading to
his parents the Scripture in the book of Reve
lations, and came to that passage, and 10
another wonder in Heaven, great red drag
on" which he pronounced Dragon; " Hoot
AVA laddie," cried the father, that's no
RIGHT, for Use aye sure that name of Claver-
house's men gang to Heaven; read it over
again" So the boy repeated the sentence,
spelling the word dragon as before, dragoOR.-
" Sure enoo, it's dragoon, moo try it again,
an if ye no read it RIGHT this time, Ill cen
gle ye thrashing, said the enraged father.
The youngster attempting the passage the
third time with great care, still rendered it in
the same manner The father was about seiz-
ing his cudgel to correct the reader Of heresy,
when the mother interposed, saying "Dinna'
fash yersel, auld mon, dun ye no speer (see)
it was wunner in Heaven, thet ane O Claver-
houses men happened to get in?"
The Church Nauy
A young friend who had Joined the Bap-
lists, approached him timidly, lest the doctor
might censure his choice. After some hesita-
ton, he broached the subject with the remark,
"Well, Doctor; yesterday joined the Army
of Zion" 6 Did you?' was the reply Z" in
VIII ch Church?' In the Pierrepont street
Baptist" came the faltering answer. ooh
understand, said the Doctor, but should
call that joining the Navy" The young man
was thus placed at his ease, and perfect fellow
ship established.
Age Of Rericles.
A funny story is told af the grievous mis-
take of one of DIR. Bethune's old parishioners
concerning the aim of the Age of Perlces. ;"
When the lecture was to be repeated in Bos-
ton, he met his former pastor, and said, 'Well,
doctor, | have bought ticket, and am COM
ing to hear you tonight. When | told my
wife about it, she asked, But who is this
perikeIs?' The good man pronounced the
last syllable as in 6 barnacles." 1.-The fact
was that never had heard of the man, but
said, if you are such fool as not to know
that it is high time tor you to begin to study
son that you are going to give whole lecture
about how long the old fellow lived %
A Clerical Mtsstep.
In the course of his ministration at Utica,
DIR. B. at one time caught breath Of dissat-
iSfaction on the part Of certain individuals in
his congregation at something he had said or
done. 1t was mere gossip, but his extreme
sensibility was at once alarmed; and, agitated,
ba hootonad hiS frianI RothbOna Ona ~
the consistory, and besought him to say where,
in he had sinned. The councillor knew that
it was all trihing gossip, not worth IA second
thought, and quieted his minister's fears by
telling him so. In due time, Bethune applied
applied again for advice, on like occasion,
and exacted promise from his adviser that
should any, even unconscious, steps from the
| paths Of strict decorum be discovered by MIR.
Rathbone, he would instantly and frankly tell
his friend of them. Within few weeks, the
dominic was again in great alarm at his friend s
office. He must have done something wrong
! He was ready to humble himself and ask for.
giveness first of his God, and next of his peo-
pie, if he could only know what it was.-
"Well," " said Rathbone, with amazing soem
nifty, [ am obliged to tell you that you have
at last been guilty ofa very bad action, dere
LECTION of duty, sacrilegious and discreditable
committed on the Sabbath day, and ON YOU
way to the sacred desk ~ Do my deal
friend, if you love me, said the other, g. tell
me what it is l know am thoughtless
wicked creature: but will ask and deserve my
peoples forgiveness, if may only know my
fault" "Well, l suppose must te you,
said Rathbone without moving muscle
"When you were going up the steps of the
church, last Sunday morning, 1 was within
twenty feet of you, and saw the act myself
you dare not deny it, you took two steps a
once a.t