Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-06-18
HUMOROUS.


is in love- however intelligent a man
may be, he will never know bu. half
of it.. 81 9r -.
! Mrs. Chapone was asked why she
always came SO early to church,
Because" said she, sit is part of
my religion never to disturb the re-
ligion Of others" Iio
A little girl, seven years old, was
recently called as witness in po-
lice court, and in answer to a ques-
ton as to what becomes of little
girls who tell falsehoods, innoccntly
replied that they were sent to bed
Bill Triplet, q son of sold Ken
tucky,' many years ago emigrated
to Arkansas, and lived in kind of
hand to mouth sort Of way, till final
he was reduced to the extremity of
borrowing I'll the ready cash lie cod
get hold Of One day he went to
Fred Trarnall-of whom he boosted
as an old friend, and who was a
whole souled fellow-.and asked the
loan of ten dollars Fred was a can
didate for the Legislature on the
Wing ticket Bat Bill was an invet-
crate Democrat. When he asked the
loan on this occasion, Fred said,
"Bill, how does it happen that when
you want money You always come
to me to borrow, but when I'm n
candidate you are always opposed to
me?" This ought to have been a
poser, but Bill was smart. Said he,
Erred, look at me right good. I'll
tell you: Politically, / am opposed
to you; but financially, 1 am your
friend
A young woman being asked by
politician which party she was most
in favor of, replied that she preferred
a wedding party.
a room with pictures in it, and
room without pictures in it, differ
nearly rs much rs n room with win
dows, and room without windows
in it.
A chap says he cured palpitation
of the heart by the application of an
other palpitating heart to the part
affected.
What is that which is neither flesh
nor bone, and yet has four fingers
and a thumb?-A glove.
An eccentric clergyman lately said
in one Of his sermons that "above
the commonest proof we have that
man is made of clay is the brick so
often found in his hat"
Bible promises are like the beams
Of the sun, which rs freely in at the
windows ofthe poor mans cottage |
as the rich mans palace.
Charley B., who delights in using
long words, the meaning of which is !
not perfectly clear to himself, lately |
sent word to fair one who had Tilted |
him; said he "tell her that 1 am con
eentrosing a journey to Pekin China"
A certain barrister, who was re-
markable for coming into court with
dirty hands, observed that he had
been turning over Coke.
/ should think it was Goals you'd
been turning over" observed wag
"Now then, SIR" roared an angry
attorney to a dull witness, evil you
tell me which is the oldest-you or
james," He is the oldest now,
but if live three years longer, We
shall both be of an age
A merchant ON comparing goods
with the invoice found them all right
except a hammer less the invoice
"Oh. don't be troubled said the
Irish porter, "sure the nagur took it
to open the hogshcad with"
Some time since a gentleman died
in the town of Y, who during
his life, refused to believe in another
world. Two or thee weeks after
his demise, his wife received, through
a medium, communication which
read as follows: "Dear wife, / now
believe. Please send me my thin
clothes"
A servant girl told her master, the
other morning, that she was about
to give his wife warning, and quit the
house. "Happy girl. would that /
could give her warning, too" re-
sponded the indescribable brute.
A gentleman who had built small
house in a sequestered part of his
grounds for private study, showed
it to a friend, rcmarking: "Here 1
sit reading from morning till night,
and nobody bit the wiser" i
s'Humble rs / am" said n bullying |
spouter to mass meeting of the
Democrats, al shall remember that