The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-02-15

WITH true wife a husbands q faults shOuld
be secret. A woman iorgets when she con.
descends to that refuge Of weakness, female
confident. A wife's bosom should Be the
tomb Of her husband failings, and his char
acter far more valuable, in her estimation,
than life. How about the husbandf
A GENTLEMAN, oce evening, was sexted
near lovely woman, when the company
around were proposing conundrums to each.
Turning 10 his companion, be said "Why
is lady unlike Mirror y" She gave IL up.
Because" said the rude fellow, "a mirror
reflects without speaking lady speaks
without rejecting" 'feyow answer me, Why
Is q man unlike mirrors ~ 81 can not tell
you" "Because the mirror 10 polished, and
the man is not"
The disciples found angels at the grave r
him they loved, ani we should nnd them
too, but that our eyes are too fal Of tears fot
seeing.
a GREAT aid to the temperance 'ause-le-
mon-ade.
SOMEBODY who writes more truthfuIlY than
POLITICALLY says: Gan angel without money
is not thought SO mach cf ~ uevii wltn a
bale Of grsenbacks >
LORD NJ, who had q very exalted opinion
OF himself, once remarked-'W Whenever hap
pen to say foolish thing always burst cut
laughing Then, my lord said Townsend,
'I envy your happiness, for you must be the
merriest man in Europe"
II say, Sambo, does you know what makes
the corn grow 80 fast when you put the ma
nure Oh iG'
"No, don't hardly
Snow, III just tel We. When Dc corn
begins 10 smell de manure, it don't like dc
fumery, and 90 it hurries out Of de ground,
and gifts up as high as possible, 50 as not to
breathe bad air. p"
An ans-tobacconist, in addressing a COM
pauY of sailors, warned them against chew
ing and smoking, and declared that every
kind OF pipe was bad, however moderately
ID was INDUCED in.
sAvast therer exclaimed an old salt. Il
know pipe that never hurt anybody
What is itS' blandly asked the lecturer.
"A nornpipep Y exclaimed the old tar, and
the lecturer was extiDguished in q food Of
laughter.
A ScoTcH physician being asked the mean
ing OF metaphysics, explained the word, a.
follows When the party who listens doesna
ken what the party who speaks means, and
the party who speaks doesaa ken what BE-
speaks himself, that's metaphysics
Few who lived In St. Louis some ten years
ago, but knew Harry E. There were
no duplicates Of him. Having some means,
be was considered somewhat eccentric-his
walk certainly was, for, except when be was
under the influence Of too much 'Mononga-
hela,' he seemed to be intent on laying out
the line for worm fence. When straight
ened cut, he reached oVar SIX feet, the top
end surmounted by a shock of fiery hair.
don't say he was ugly, but il homeliness is
sure sign for amiabilty, he was the best ma.
rured fellow ever saw
Harry at one time he'd the high position
Of militia captain in Ili,nois, aud experienced
considerable difficulty in bringing up bis
men To his standard Of military discipline.
Holding forth on the subject to a squad Of
U. s. A. officers, he said be had the fellows
out 0ne day and when he cried out Dress n
they began to hitch up their pants, fix their
crayats, &c 'Then,' said he, 4 backed them
all up against fence, md got them straigh.
and told them thai was what dress meant.
Well, when next time cried 'dress. dang
me if they didn't run like mad across the
road, and back up against the fence.'
what did Won do thenS' asked one
why replied Harry, 4 left them in dis
gust. Bdt,' added be, when they saw me
20 into a grocery, they all followed like
string Of Indians