The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-01-31
SPARE LINES.

bosom friend.
Why is bald man like one in swoon
Because they both want little fresh air.
What prevents the running river from
running away Why, il is tide up.
~ like your i,npu,lence. (" "a pretty girl
said when her beau kissed her.
No mans character il so black bat what
], may be clranrd with gold, ifonly enough
Of the metal be- used.
WHY il elliott accountable Tor much dis
honesty? iiecause h- makes tho people
steel pens, AMI SAYS they Ito write.
WHY is n son who objects TO his mothers
second marriage like an exhausted pe,iesiri.
an; Because he cant go step farther.
The litemry style of askin. for OF ham
is, IN thank you Tor an extract from Ia
con-"
A lady of more wealth than culture mp
piled at hook sore recently for Dickens
novel, David Copperleai.
Why are sunbcams in breezy weather
ike persons borrowing money? Because
they are nays IN the wind.
AZ recent railroad celebration the fol-
lowing sentiment WIS given. "Our moth
ers--the only faithful tenders who never
misplaced a switch.
Some men take To cigars rs naturally rs
some women de- 10 gossip. the result in each
case amounts 10 about the same thing
Smoke
c..,.,. ,., , :.
GOOD substitute for bravery = only be u little
careful TO pick your customers when you
try il.
,.,.
"hat Tue u'hershce o'ween .nc u
oors o' "'' n az" s, ,''' -. os
what she gathers.
,n
th'SoSan,' S'!S o'a' ",e o'ne'cn'e
S'"Sen s"'e'n' ana 'nhI'nhee y. u,a, WI" wv,
,,o 'o,'ne' y""' ""''"'e' o"" WIZ" '"'
'''''' '"'' '''' "s"'
IN. ,,,' - ~. I T, =, ,u".", IT." ',.,
~ ,,,, -. I;,.s,,,,... e.,
$50, =, '.;,,.,,.., e, 81, 80, -.
=, ",.,,,.,;',,, .,,,, C,,,,l;,i, pr 49,
"' " >N
An improved nursing apparatus is AL.
vcrtiscd We don't believe the old way
way en'' We ,, ul", ., very n"eh. :. " ,,',
ha,;n;,, "s "' '' ''"''''' :" WV
ss'
An old lady in New Jersey, having read
Of the bursting Of rrin,lstone in u manu-
featuring establishments. became terribly
aln,ned les, srin'lstonc that was IN her
" '"'"" '''' "' " wv "' we
An excited orator Is rrcpor'cifo have eN'
claimed; ~ guess There amt man.
woman or ch''d ~ TIE house VINO has ar
r,ed nj the age oi my years b',t what mas
tel, tbs great ruin Numbering through MS
or lis mimi Tor centuries
A gentleman, riyin. n lecture IN some
boys, was explaining how no one could
I'VE wrhoo, an. tie then sah' lou nave
all heard OF a NM, drown'nS-how does
that hnppen! The ready answer was,
"Causc he cent SWIM.
yo,Jo.Iih,s e.o,omv does,', plc,se
,,,,,I''',, 49,, H.. N.,, Val Cen,,,I On.
.,r,.s.,;. i,d;y;Ju,l s,,..s,s ,s nm n,i,l;,;on.
al regulation, that amy engineer caught
grcasing his hair with oil taken from the
locomotive aNics will be lined SO, and his
watch e"ni'sca'ed'
Smith and brown running opposi,c ways
,ornJ /, rorner. struck each other. "Ob
,Icar ,-.,ys smith. show YOU made NV
head rings "Tha,'s a sign it's hollow"
SAYS Brown. "Didnt YOURS ring ~ says
Smith. "No, says Brown. "iha's u
sign u = cracker, rpiied ms iriehu.
n,,r;,,, ,L,, ,,,,,;,,, .,,so, +, ,om,o,,s In.
,;,;,I,,,J ,,,,LsJ ,,,, ., ,h. oft;cc nl n sea.
- Ia.,J AL ,,,,,, ..ns;l.r.hl. ton,;sh
s;an.J A.. hooh and in n Io,,,i voir,. .y-
claimed I'm I.i,u,,napt Goy,rnor of
sTL,, ,lo,sn', nu,k, any difference. saws The
landlord .you'll be treated i,,s, as well as
o"'0'"
a "loyeiy girl in Wisconsin recently re-
covered sill 100 damages in breach OF
promis. snit against her lover. Her law
YER congratulated her on the amount, when
She exclaimed, with trrocious glance at
the muicied defendant. and nervously
rlutched her fingers, I'D give every penny
OF Il 10 have on. good pull at his hair"
Bootblack hoy tn returned soldier
'black your boots, sir make them shine
Looking at his his boots Ia con,c'np'aI,Ve
way. replied. "weli J don care u YOU 40
fall IN promptly though. The urrh'n
gazed mon"nt at To" soldier: ana 'hen'
turning tn a coinra'le near by, shouted on,
say, Bll. lend ~ hand, won't you! I've
got an army contract"
, r,,,, L..,, ,,;.,,.,.l or, ,s c,,,
"'uo' Nrn' "'H"" s.
an the knee OF gentleman friend, and on
being told 10y her mother that shs was too
large u baby To holt, rctoried almost im'ne.
diaiely. accompanying the worls with
gesture, "Why girls of nineteen years sit
ON laps and you wouldn't call them babies.
would you;"
Charles Dickens, high authority, leans