The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1868-04-15

a repetition of the delicious offence:
Since, for kissing thee Minguillo,
My mother scolds me all the day,
Let me have it quickly, darling.
Give me back my kiss, pray.
| If we have done aught amiss,
Let's undo it while we may;
Quickly, give me back my kiss,
That she may have naught to say.
Do-she makes so great bother.
Cbides SO sharply. looks so grave
Do, my love, 10 please my mother,
Give me back the kiss gave.
Out upon you, false Minguillo!
One yOu give. but tw you take;
| Give me back the one, my darling,
Give it for my mothers sake.
1t may be we'll that physicians qualify
the advice given to their patients ITO
take something" by telling them what
to take; or some of them may do as did
A good. looking fellow who was ar
ralSned before Police Court, charged
with having stolen watch. 1t was his
Fl, st error, and he was ready to plead
guilty. The Judge addressed him in
very gentle tones, and asked him what
had induced him to commit the theft.
The young man replied that, having been
unwell for some time, the Doctor advised
him TO TAKE SOMETHING, which he had
accordingly done. The Judge was rather
pleased With the humor Of the thing, and
asked what had led him to select watch.
"N hy," said the prisoner, "I thought ii
only had the TINE, that nature would
work a cure ~
"Give US a plate of beans!" said a
country man in an eating-Iouse, taking a
seat in stall No. 2.
Beans, No. q" called the waiter.
mot by a darned sight!' cried the
countryman. Don't want any Of your
No. 2 bcans-want the first best--A No. l.
I've got money enough, can tell you !"
and he swung in the air pocket book
of about the largest and greasiest descrip-
ton that the keeper of the eating-house
had ever seen.
In the Lard We Love" we find the
following reminiscence of the confedeIa.
cy:
While Furguson's Mississippians (and
ra,e set they were) were passing
through Uniunville, South Carolina, en-
route for the Tar River country, they
passed, in winding through the streets Of
the village, the dwelling Of that hospita
bic gentleman, that pure patriot, that
learned lawyer and spotless jurist, Judge
-. The distinguished Judge is sand,
withal, to be the finest looking man in
the State. But nor hospitality, nor
learning, nor patriotism, nor purity of
ermine, nor stately demeanor could save
him from the jeers of the ''boys in grey"
The Judge stood in the porch Of his ele-
CANT mansion surrounded by crowd Of
lady friends. A cadavcrous swamper
from the jungles ofthe Yazoo swamps,
cried out,
"Ain't you ashamed, old man, with
your white bar, to be sparkin' young
gals in public?"
A bilious specimen Of chills and fever
shouted that gal with the red head is
mine"
Another yelled, "that blue. e.eyed one
is the gal for me-" A fourth, "curly.
l-.eaa =. 4-,,-,,-, me- fifth, STOPPED
ard staring at the dignitied Judge, said.
"Bill, amt that old feller got round,
pooty face like dorg ?"
The Judge retired, so did the ladies I!
A Lcavcnworth (Ks.) paper has a cor
respondent who thinks the colored cit;-
zeus Of that State are far too ignorant to
be intrusted with ballots. lie writes as
follows
KIKAPoo, nov the "a, 1867.
Derc Zur-Will you peze inform me
whether niger suphrage Was carried at
The late lection. II sech ignrant peepul
is to voat, want to leave this God for
saking State, and 20 back to Southcr Hi
noiS. yeurs trool, --
They have a Home Journal up in the
woods Of Northern Michigan, and it pub
lis.ses the following society news -
"Mr. Mis- quah-wab. bow-you is engaged
to MiS-quah- wah-quet-o daughter of
Ne.be- nah ah-rah quot-way-be, a mighty
hunter; Mr.. Nah observation-disclosures to
the dark-eyed Miss Mah-kah da-kah
MIR. All wah-bo you to The belle of
the forest, Miss Ah-quawa-bo o-you and
Mr. Kish-ke-ne je.kah-kah.sh shin 10 the
chick-we-naugh Miss Ac-qua-ke-che-
won-o-qua."
"Are those bells ringing for fire p
inquired Simon of Tiberias. mo in
deed answered Tibe; "they have got
plenty Of fire and the bell is now ring
ing for water"
A prominent journalist in New York
who is perfectly bald, has offered a re.
ward Of S 1000 for tale that will make
his hair stand on end.
"An exchange calls bakers regular
loafcrs.' What an ill-bred fellow!
Why is an onion like a piano? Be-
cause it smellodious.
How sweet to rccline in the lapse of
agcs-say about eighteen.
Press. Pulpit and Pe,ticoats-three
ruling powers.
->~<-
Index to New Advertisements.
Nc foIIn To -Hap,