The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1868-01-17
MARX TWAIN's UNCLE AT ST.
THOMAS,

mAhA i"AIlN,S UNCLE AT ST.
In the following extract from a recent
letter by Mark Twain. he happily hits of
the folly of Mr.. Stewards investment in
real estate for the benefit (?) of the ma
ton:
Could You give me any information re
specting such islands. if any. as the gov
eminent is going TO purchase? Ii is az
uncle OF niue that wants TO know. He
Is an industrious man, and we'll disposed,
and wants TO make living in an honest,
| humble way, but more especially he wants
TO be quiet. He has been to the next is :
land-St. Thomas-but he says he think
they are unsettled there. Hs went the re
early with an aitache of The State De-
pal tmeat, who was sent down with the
money to pay for the island. My uncle
bad his money In the same box, aud so
when they went ashore, getting receipt,
Tie sailors uFoks opsu suo Lo a auu yuuA
all the amosey, not making any distinction
between government money, which was
| ieSiu mate money 10 be stolen, and nv
unele's which was his own private prop
y and should have been respected. But he
came home and got some more, and went
back, And then he took the fever. There
are seven kinds of fever down there, you
know, and as his blood was out of order
by reason of loss of sleep ana general
wear and tear OF mind, be falled 10 cure
the first fever, aud then someho1 he go :
The other six. He is not a kind of nan
that enj2y levers, though be is vel mean-
ing and always does what hA ibipks is
right, ADD SO he was good sHea, ANNOYED
when it appeared that de was goin: to
die. .a....
But he worried slGroush and CAT well.
aud started a4fiarna. He fenced II in. and
the next Gay the great storm came and
~asb<ed the most of it over To Gibraltar
81 around there someEhere. u iHa fonls,
said, In his psslent way, ihas u was gone
land he Wouidni bother abogt ,srging 10
! ind out wheIe IL went tesTsthouGh il was
go Spf1ion that X went 70 Gibraltar.
insn Ne Invested in mount lin an
Started a fArm up there, SO asIto be eut OF
the way When tns sea came ashore aaain
| l. was good m9untaia AL a good farm
| but 1t wasn't any uoe-an ea.>honsc.
came the next night aud sno6k IL al
down. Ii was all fragments, you know
aud SO mixed up vito another man Iha,
he could not tell which were his fragments
without going 20 Law, aud he would no
do that, because his main object in going
TO 81. Thomas was to be quiet. All thai
| he wanted was to settle down and b;
quiet. aessJ Ha
He thought it all over, and finally b,
concluded to try the low ground again
especially as he wanted 10 start brick
yard, this time. He bought a fat anc
put out ten Thousand bricks to dry, pre-
paratory to baking them. But luck ap-
peared TO be against him. A yoicanoe
showed itself through there the next day
and elevated his brick yard about two
Thousand feet in the air. Ii irritate hi m
a great deal. He has been up there, and
he says the bricks are baked all right
enough, but he can't get them down. Al
first he thought maybe the governne nj
would get The bricks down for him, be-
cause il government bought the island il
ought to protect the property where man
has invested in good faith but all he
wants is quiet. aud so he is not going to
apply for the subsidy be was thinking
about.
| He went back there last week In a
couple of ships of war to prospect around
the coast for a sale place for a farm where
he could be quiet; but another earth.
quake came and hoisted both of the ships
out into one of the interior counties, and
he came near losing his life. So he has
given up prospecting in the ship and is
discouraged. E
Well, now be don't know what to do
He has tried Walrusia but the bears
| kept after him so much and kept him sc
on the jump. as it were, that he had tc
leave the country. That is how he came
to 90 10 the new island we ha e bough
st. Thomas. Blu. be is getting tc
think St. Thomas is not quite enough fol
a man of his turn of MUD, and that Il
why he wishes me to find out if the gov
eminent is likely to buy some more Is
lands shortly. He has heard that Gov
eminent is thinking about buying Porte
Rico. If that is true, be wishes to Try
Porto REQ. if il is quiet place, How
is Porto RICO for HE style of a man? D.
you think The Government will buy Il
! MARK TWAIE.