The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1868-04-02
GFrOm the Toledo Blade. !
N aSby.

The New Hampshire Election
The Preparations for a Pro.
cessfOn which did mot Take
Place.
WASHINGTON, D. c., March 15 1868.
Probably the happiest party which
ever assembled in this vale of tears.
wuz in the White House on the night
NV the eleckshun in Moo Hampsheer.
1t wuz gay and festive sceen. Hilar-
ity rained. The President, with an un-
wonted smile onto his face, his nose
shinin with preternateral brilliancy,
his eyes sparklin with "a lite that Good
only come from a sole surcharged with
joy and a skin tolerablyfull NV whisky,
walked up and down the room, rubbin
his hands with glee that Good not be
repressed
"Is all prepared7" asked Randall, NV
a humble lookin cuss that does share
of his managin, Che wuz originally paid
by Mrs. Cobb, but since her ontimely
failyoor in biznis he is allowed the earn.
ings nv one day in each month NV q
whisky inspector in Moo York; sis
everything arrangedP
cit is, yoor Eggslency." (To these
fellers all the high officers are Eggslen-
cies.)
sis the powder procured for one
hundred guns ?"
"It is, yoor Eggslency."
SIS the rockets drawed from the
Navy Department to be fred from the
different parts NV the city to show spon-
taneous enthusiasm ?" -
"They is, yoor Eggslency.
"IIev the Department clerks bin no.
titled that it wood be well for EN- to
gladly fall into pereession whin His
Eggslency the President is to be SER
enaded, eff they desire to keep their
places7"
"'They hev."
"Hev the transparencies bin painted
with the proper inscriptions? Did yoo
see one inscribed: Sinolair's majority
5000! Moo Hampsheer's protest agin
impeachment. 'T'
"They hev, and did,"
"Then, sed Randall, "all is in readi-
ness. The brass bands | know arein
waitin, Sanberry writ the Presidents
speech this mornin, and he hez it toll
erably we'll by heart, and the iolly6ca-
ton must go off smooth and pleasant"
AT this moment the President ap-
preached.
cha" sed he, Sin one more short
hour Washington will be alive with joy,
and the country will breathe free. Moo
Hampsheer hez spoken. In hour we
shell hev the glad intelligence that she
hez bin troo to the constooshen ez l
expound it-that she hez rebooked
Sumner, and Stevens, and Wade, and
sich, and sed in thunder tones to the
impious wretches, who wood, in me,
pull down the pillers NV the govern
ment, "stay yoor tranticidle hands. +"
The thot overpowers me. Let's take
suthin."
A half hour was spent in innocent
hilarity. The President showed the
thoroughnis Nv his reconversion to
Dimocrisy by takin hisn strate, with
nothin in it, while Seward betrayed his
orijin and his eonsekent onreliability,
by drinkin some kind of lite wine with
no more body in it than wood be in
watered cider.
"Confushun to Wade" exclaimed
the President, holdin up his glass and
watehin the beads rise to the surface
with pleased eye.
"Noo Hampsheer." sed Seward, -
"may Connecticut carry forard the work
she hez so gloriously begun!"
"Our offises!" sed Randall, 'long
may we hold en-"
"Kentucky! sed /, "allus troo; tho
all other States may desert Dimocrisy,
Kentucky will be faithful mong the
faithlis found. Her distilleries attest