Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-02-12
THE OLD BACHELOR AND THE
BABY.

Mr.. Ellery Corban was an eSceedingly
nervous man. He came honestly by it
for his mother was nervous before him
Mr., Corbon was a bachelor of 45, re,
markably we'll preserved and rather fine
looking. He had portly figure, forid
complexion, and a head Of dark brown
hair, which any man might have been
excused for feeling proud of. He bad
never kept house, perhaps because he
kn w that elderly bachelors and widowe's
were generally fated to marry their
housekeepers and Mr.. Corban regarded
marriage and the gallows as about on a
par. Women ard babies he considered
a very Unnecessary part of creation.
The mystery Of their having been allowed
an existence he could never solve. I'll 9
could not help regarding their creation
as grave mistake somewhere. lie
boarded at Mrs. Gregg's and had made
his home there for l5lyears. Mrs. Gregg
was as much like a man as she could be
and still be a woman. aa H.
One day last summer it became evident
to Mr. Corban that he must take a jour
ney West. The interest Of his business
demanded it 50 he put few things in
to a valise, said good morning to Mrs.
Gregg, and set out for the depot. He
was five minutes late, for the necktie had
given him great deal of trouble, and he
had been unable to find a lair OF stock
ings which were not destitute of toes.
But he had comforted himself with the
reflection that, as he had boots on, no-
body would Le the wiser In regard to the
unclad condition Of his toes, and at last
he got off. He heard the whistle and
started upon the run. If there is any
thing especial calculated to put one out
Of temper, it is having to catch the cars /;
md our hero may be excused If: when
dripping with perspiration and complete
ly out of breath he rushed into the first
ear which offered, he was irrltated with
the world, himself included, @aa
The car was well filled. In fact there
was only one vacant seat, ..and that was
beside woman. Corban turned to seek
the next car, bat was met by the conduc-
Tor at the door. "No room in there, sir.
All full. Anniversary meeting at Park
ersburg. There's seat, sir ~ indicating
the one beside the woman. Corban was
troubled with touch of the rheumatism
in his left knee, and could not stand COM
fortably-nothing else could have forced
him to 90 SO near one of the sex. lie
stepped up to her and made the stereo-
typed inquiry;
This seat engaged Z"
No, sir" replied very sweet voice !;
and Corban saw that the speaker had
blue Dyes and golden hair.
He took the seat, and the lady drew
the bundle she had been resting on the
cushion into her lap.
''Better let me put your bundle up on
the rack p suggested Mr.. Corban.
The lady opened her eyes in indignant
amazement, whipped off layer Of flannel
from the package, and displayed to the
Mortified eyes OF our bachelor friend, the
red, puffy face of moon eyed baby.
"Muzzer's little 'tweety sugar darling!'
she exclaimed, in the dialect which is
perfectly ineligible to all babydom.
"Muzzer wont let the naughty man put
tie little lammie, lumpy baby up on the
rack !''
The baby struck out menacingly with
its fat fists in the direction of Mr.. Cor.
ban, and gave utterance to yell OF
triumph. Mr.. Corban broke into a cold
prespiration He had never been so neat
a baby before in all his life 1t was al
most too much for him. He had strong
mind to stand the remainder of the way
or until somebody vacated a seat but
his knee gave an extra twinge, and de.
cided him to try and endure the terrible
state of things. He took a paper from
his pocket and essayed to read but the
baby launched out in one of those baby
refrains, which is like music in the ears
of all mothers, and the coong so confused
our bachhlor hero that he could take nc
sense OF his paper, so he pocketed it with
the savage determination to petition the
next Congress for women with babies te
bo kept in car by themselves.
At the first stopping place he was OIL
the lookout for seat, and to his JOY dis
covered the gentleman in the next sea
making hurried preparations to leave
but before he was fairly out Of his seat
an old lady in green shawl and a poke
bonnet had edged into it. and cut off al
Mr. Corban's hopes. Of course she turr
ed around and began at once to talk 0