Vermont daily transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1868-1870, 1868-11-03
Miscellaneous.
4 COOk Upon Triai.


After many .foscos we did get wo-
man to come 10y the week on trial, and
she is with us now. She said that it
was absur, to take that precaution, be-
cause he was sure that nature had in
tended her to suit us for our lives long.
But am glad we did take ii, neverthc-
less. She could cook everything, she
said. She would not, | believe, have
hestated to aver her proficiency to cook
human flesh, if my questions had taken
that direction. She also promised to do
all that was asked of her in other res
poets. Altogether, she was and is the
most cheerful, al well as the most tre-
mendous liar with whom | have ever
been acquainted. On the occasion ofthe
first little dinner she gave my wife and
me, L said: Spare for rothing, Mrs.
Bonnie Femme, but send up everything
OF your best" L took no luncheon that
day, but reserved my appetite for the
trial feast. This was lucky, for munger
was, upon that occasion, not merely the
best sauce. but tle only one. a sharp
kitchen maid could have turned out
better dinner Everything was spoiled
that wasn't boiled-as if one wanted
boiled things! But the curious part of
the affair was, that the wretched lmpos-
ter below stairs was of opinion that she
had acquitted herself to admiration. She
especially rrided her elf, it seems, upon
her Sweets" her single specimen of
which was comprised of sago-pudding,
with som jam split upon it. And yet
this woman had a character with her
that, If it did not quite corroborate her
own assertions, gave some ground for
them. People talk of the wickedness Of
servants, but what is that compared to
the wickedness of those mistresses who
will say anything in order to get smooth
ly rid of a worthless cook? Of course it
is tenn .jtation, but it is one that q lady
ought to resist; for the oil that smooths
the parting luoricates for this terrible
domestic he" passage INTO an unsuspect-
ing family, just as lrdid in our case. 1t
is true, 1 only engaged Mrs. Bonnie
Femme for "a week certain - but here
she is and here she sticks. She brought
three boxes with her Tone of them the
size of the Ark asserting that she was
sure to suit, and might, therefore, just
as well make herself comfortable at
once. She continues TO state that she
does well, and is so good as to add that
for her part she finds the place to her
liking. In vain l have told her that
she is not cook enough for us (and in
deed she is not cook at ally; she only
shakes her head and smiles, as though 1
was charmingly droll. She won't go,
and / don't know how to make her. l
have been looking into BURNS JUS
tice," but can't find that have rem
edy against her. The police, of course,
decline to interfere, except in her favor,
and dare not call in the military, on
account of the young ladies' maid"
and the other girls. 1t is sad to be wi TIL
out a cook, but 1t is worse to possess II
bad one, who refuses to leave your roo,
and assures you she is quite comfortable
where she is. have said she can cook
nothing, but there l eXaggerate. AL
though our weekly bills have never
beeen so high as since she has been
with us, it isimpossible to convict her Of
petty larceny. She cooks accounts IN
commonly well.-Ch0mber's journal.