The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1868-01-11
Bunget of Finn.

r An exchange was considerably amused, the 9TH
o. evening, at the little girls playing among the
sage brush in the back yard. Two of them were
making believe keep house ;" a few yards dis.
tant from each other-neighbors 40 it were. One
Of them says to the third little girl: ''There,
: now, Nelly, you go to Sarah's house, and stop
little while and talk. and then come back and
then tell me what she says about me then I'll
talk about her; then you 20 and tell her all
cay, and then we'll get mad and won't speak to
each other, just like our mothers do, Won know.
0, thatll be such fun!
ass. At tavern one night,
Messrs. More Strange and WioM
Net to drink and good thoughts to exchange.
900 Says More, Of us three,
The whole town will agree
There is only one knave, and that's Snange"
Use Yes, says Strange rather sorel
SIN sure there's one More,
A most terrible knave and bite,
who cheated his mother,
His sister and brother"
"oh, yes replied More, "that is Wl4gM!"
"Come here, sissy" said a young gentleman to
little girl, to whose sister he was paying his
addresses; "you the sweetest thing on
earth"
3, "No, amt she replied "sister says you are
the sweetest"
The gentleman popped the question" the next
day.
After the Crimean War, young officer In the
House of Commons wore tremendous moustaches,
on which one of the members said
"My dear fellow, now that the war is over why
don't you put your moustaches the peace es-
Enlistment
"Had you not better put your tongue on the
civil listr' was the prompt retort.
An editor wrote a leading article on the fair
EEK, in the course Of which he said,-
"Girls of seventeen or eighteen fond of
beaus" When the paper was issued he was rath-
er shocked to discover that an unfortunate typo
graphical error had made him say, girls of sew
snteen or eighteen are fond of beans. -
Little Bobby say, ma, is ii true that we are
made out Of dustS Ma--yes, my boy; SO we are
told. Bobby-Well I'll be hanged if / believe il; ;
cause, tiff we was when We sweat wouldn't
it be muddy
A Cleveland dry goods dealer adds the follow
ing to his advertising circular: Ministers Of the
Gospel supplied with goods at cost price, if they
agree to mention it to their congregations
A French wit says that the gibbet is a species
of Hattery to the human race. Three or four per-
sons are hung from time to time for the sake Of
making the rest believe that they are virtuous.
A Michigan squaw was asked if her papoose,
which was quite white, was not haf-breed
whereupon she replied: No, not a drop of white
blood about it-haf Indian and half mission
ary."
The Sugar wedding" which occurs thirty days
after marriage, is said to be followed after .
very short interval, by the vinegar wedding"
Value the friendship of him who stands by you
in s,orm-swarms of insects will surround you
in Sunshine
Who ever heard a woman with pretty ankles
and whole stockings complain Of wet sidewalks
or muddy crossings
It is a great convenience for doctor TO have
two patients in the same street. so he can kill
two birds with stone.
Whom did Robinson Crusoe meet on the des-
ert island, A great saoeoU, and a little coce run
ningto the island.
When is a lover like tailor? When he
presses his suit.
Some fishermen use cotton for bait; so do some
women.
When is silence likely to get wet' When it
reigns.
Stuffing improves the fair we'll as the foul.