The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1868-05-22
out the help Of the abominable sex in ,nv

The Leeds place had been for long
time nntenante1 lit was very near the
captain Sin fact only few rods off-sen>
arated by low fence, and the captains
wonderful garden lay between his house
and that fence.
After dinner the captain felt in more
complete frame of mind, and concluded to
indulge In little nap. Perhaps the hens
would be kept shut up, be thought, and in
that case there would be no trouble, and
full of this delightful Imagination he fell
asleep. He was soon reused by the shrill
voice of Sam crying out
They're come they're come u
The captain had been dreaming of the
Revelation, and was brim full OF his dream,
so he bounded to his feet excaiming-
who? the British /"
"No," said Sam, more than that the
hens they re Ia the garden turning every
thing out by the roots and vicy versy T.
Hatless and coatless the captain rushed
out, struck his toe against fancy box,
which he declares was set there on purpose
to throw him down, and over he went head
long down the terrace, plump into his bed
of young cabbages. and the delicate plants
went down beneath his hundred and ninety
avoirdupois like grass before the mower.
''Drat the box and drat the hens and
drat the old maid p cried the captain,
struggling to his feet; and wiping the
blood from his nose with his shirt sleeve,
he made plunge for the garden. 1t was
a narrowing sight, and no mistake There
in the very midst Of his bed of choice
bulbs was flock of about dozen fine
plump hens-cngaged in the interesting
business of busting" themselves, and they
had succeeded in unearthing every bulb In
the bed! There could be no doubt of it at
ter taking one look at the forlorn plants
that strewed the ground. And to make it
still more provoking, a very knowing look
ing rooster was picking the captain
choicest tuberose, for which he had paid
FIVE dollars, entirely to pieces, stopping
every now and then to crow in triumph.
The captain broke a limb from choice
pear tree. never stopping to think of the
ruin to the tree, and with wild whoop
leaped in among the fowls, which scattered
in every direction. And at the same mo-
ment woman, with bean pole in her
hand, climbed the fence and joined the
captain in the chase.
Our hero was too much excited to notice
her at first, and the two dashed Oh after
the contrary bipeds who acted just as ad
mirably as hens generally do under such
Misunderstanding into trees-darting
round corners-and doubling on their track
every three rods.
at last every foul was out of sight ex-
cept the rooster-and he darted in at the
open door of Miss Briggs kitchen. The
captain ached to ring the bird 5 neck, and
thought he saw before him fine prospect
of being able to execute his desire. He
rushed into the kitchen, followed closely
by Miss Briggs, but before he could lay
hands on chanticleer he had made his es-
cape by an open window. The captain
turned and confronted Miss Briggs, and
blushed red as blood beet and thought
only Of making his escape. He opened the
first door which presented itself, and as it
happened to be the door to the cellar, our
uniucky friend brought up into potato
bin at the foot of the stairs before he had
time to reflect upon his possible future.
He was not a profane man, but there are
some circumstances in life under the press
ure of which an oath or two work in very
handy-and the captain found himself
swearing roundly before he remembered
that it was wicked, besides being very i'm
pOiItC Ill tllC RlCSCICC Va lduy. IOE mlSS
Briggs had hurried down the stairs, and
was trying to find out whether the captain
was MORALLY hurt.
"Oh Lord I" cried she, listening to his
raving, ''he's done for, and | shall have to
have coroner's inquest to set an hour, and
my new entry carpet will be ruined with so
many muddy feet tramping oyer it You
dreadful man you Do stop swearing and
let me see if you are killed |"
The captain would have got up and fled
from her if he could, but his wits were SO
completely knocked out of him that it was
impossible. So he had to lie still and sui
fer Miss Briggs to lift his head, and battle
his bumped forehead, and brush the dust
out of his eyes. After which, leaning on
her for support he managed to limp up
stairs and tumble on the sofa Then she
put a cloth wet in cologne on the lump, and
then she gave him some hot lemonade to
drink, and he decided that he never iet so
comfortable before in all his life. He also
decided that Miss Briggs was beauty, and
he wondered if she was engaged to any
body. aud if she was his wite-the cap
tain 's-if he, the captain, should ever dare
to kiss her? At which bold thought the
captain blushed and hid his face in the
pillow, and Miss Briggs flew to his relief
with the salts, feeling sure that he was
going to faint.
Il guess now that you are better" said
she, at last, that will step over and let
your wife know that you are hurt"
My wife? Good gracious, ma am -
cried the captain; Il haven't anyI'
Dear me'' said Miss Briggs, show
strange! Good looking men generally
marry young. / thought, of course, you
we're married--snd-aDd the father of
family."
"Oh, my soul and body !" exclaimed the
captain, ''how you do 60 on u
And then, not knowing exactly what to
do, he seized the lady's hand ard pressed
it to his lips. Miss Briggs bore it, as the
captain afterward told Sam Jones in conf
donce, like christian, and then she began
to apologize for her hens but the captain
assured her he adored hens, and as for their
scratching, he should be delighted, in fact,
he should feel honored if she would allow
them to make rendezvous Of his garden,
it was so full of worms and slugs.
The upshot of the matter was that the
captain played sick, and was nursed by
Miss Briggs nearly week, and at the end