The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-04-24
G..,ip Ia Ordinary.


Felix is very skcpticsl young man and In
clinel to take things literally. Tie once stole u
bottle Of our black ink to wash his cat with that
she might be rci) Last Sabbath he took excep-
tons to remark made by the minister that,
"thcrc is none perfect save Him who maize US.
This, 4. thinks, Is wrong theology; for he knows
-sssshsr. boy who Is the most perfect chap to
hunt hens nests with, that ever wss, md Be-
sides he knows any number OF perfect fools. .
Il was fun to read Of the democracy firing guns
in honor Of the fact that senator Dixon Of Con.
necticut was whipped odt Of his boots, and
woull retire in disgrace from Congress, rs the
result Of the nutmeg election. That's about the
plain English Of il. .. Some one suggests
the formation Of h society. to prevent cruelty to
-hen-peckci husbands, and,tse number Is not
extremely small. That is all very well, but II
Is labor thrown away. There arefnany indi'id-
u,ls who arc poor and who will alwaysbe as
poor rs a church mouse, since they haven't
mind enough to triumph over msttef. Snd that
what's the matter with 'em. When a man be-
conner hefrpcclei-sra may alwASsS know tha'
he deserves his fate, and sympathy with him Is
worse than. wasted. lie Is prclestinated from
the foundation Of the world 10 be "licked''; he
i. combativc,,sbut at every call TO arms he turns
nm underpeAA. death loves q shining
mark" but its a pity tn. pale rider didn't love
. duh one; however, in that case the poPu-
ls,ion would lie greatly decimsted. Didn't you
ever notice that II there Is man In town who
stands in the way Of enterprise and the towns
prosperity, he has in him every element Of lon
scyityr Balls have been well PATRON
irel in Bitldef6rd the past winter; in fact, the
lpiics like to 20 to 'em, and 80 do the youths OF
that little village. Since the testimony Of
the impeachment trial has been put in, the def
milton of the ..self-madc maif'' has been fixed.
lie Is found to be the man who made "goose"
Of himself. =
The Bitldeford city authorities have offered a
reward for the apprehension Of those who raise
false alarm Of FIRE. Those false alarms are
quite numerous, but they are better than real
ones. The policeman round the corner Is on the
alert to get the reward. lie recently arrested a
girl with "a ringing laugh" lie miss-took
her for a belle. Felix has been to see
those Duplex Mirrors at Chadbourne & Stearns'
up ON Main street, and then fell to rejecting
business men don't, need mirrors, for time is
too precious to be thrown away in looking nj
counterfeits, Editors are not allowed to use
them, for that would[be indulging in personally
ties. Sensitive people don't want to use them,
for that would be seeing themselves as others
see them. Lazy men at sight OF them ought to
thrown into commissions ON account Of the quick
silver behind them. Pretty lasses have no need
Of mirror to learn how beautiful they are, for
the tongues Of half their male scquaintances
win herald.it. Neither do the goodNand virtu-
Gus neel them, since the beautiful in their.liyes
win reflect its own loveliness without false aids;
Just as the little blue violet struggles up through
the snow, unaiied, to gladden. the eyes Of the
beholdcr, or the hardy wee Mayaower braves
the frost of q northern winter spring to be the
first to be gathered by loving hands. But the
pocket looking-glass and comb are necessity to
the dry goods clerk who parts his hair In the
middle. lest stray tilahent ON the wrong side
Of the path may cause him TO lose his balance OF
mind. The Advent Society in BiddefOrd
have put up neat ffttle' chapel, arc going to
make il bigger, and have made some converts,
II we may credit "local" published in these
columns. It'swell to..be prepared at all times;
indeSi, no one:kso~s It's eorSt Hence better than
does an eiit6r when publication day arrives.
But the millennium won't come just yet. This
world is.pretty good, Mt anxnte II Is the best
We haze ut hand; but TYRES ts6 much rum
drank, too much slandering, toCauch morality
lying around locse. too r4uch.bieotry, too much
sectarianisp and too much ,deviltry generally,
to DO terribly frightened about the worlds end
quite yet. 'wespppose, however, II will come
sometime. when all these naughty things are
endei. Till then, wait, and
"Let Cumming blanc away,
And Miller's saints blow mp the globes
hut when you see thas.Aassed day, =.
TAsa orJsr your ascensivu.robe."