Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-08-19

OF clOtneS from tne IaXtOn CalIOr, 1nCenu-
inc to pay for then, with the heiress' s
money.
For a number Of days before the Ger
emony, Betsey and her mother were busy
making out long lists of friends whom
the would invite to the wedding, and to
whom they would send cards, the sight of
viii ch made Job tremble with fear; and
the more he thought of the approaching
marriage, the more he dreaded it, on &C
count of the display that was to be made !;
and he finally requested that it might be
private; but the ladies had set their hearts
upon public show and they could not think
of disappointing themselves, so they de-
clined the young mans request.
Titter's dread grew upon him, and time
never seemed to fly so fast with him be-
fore. His new clothes came from the
tailor's in Taxton, but he wished that they
were back again, and would not open
them-not even allow Betsey and her
mother to see them.-The evening before
the ceremony, as the three sat in the new
ly furnished parlor, Mrs. Pollard recount
ed the scores that were expected to be
present the next evening, and afterwards
requested the pair of lovers to rehearse
the form Of service, so that they might be
thorough in it, and be less liable to make
mistakes. In vain Job tried to overcome
his fears and be perfect; he completely
outdid himself in blunders and after he
retired to his room he lay all night hoping
that the morrow would never come.
The next afternoon, when he returned
from the store, the moment he stepped
into the hall he heard the rustic of silks
through the halfopened parlor door. He
met Betsey upon the stairs, and telling
her that he was going to his room to dress,
he requested that his tea might be brought
to him. In his room be sat and listened
to the company below. The sun went
down and it grew slowly dark. Presently
there was knock upon his door, and Bid
dy, who, as the play-bells say, had been
engaged for a limited number of nights,
handed him in his toast and tea. Then
he could hear the arrival of persons, and
the laugh and chat of those below, and he
thought they must be laughing and talk
ing about him. He became desperate,
and decided he would never stand that :;
he wouldn't be married; SO he proceeded
to pack his trunk as hastily as possible !;
then, uncording the bed, he made the
end of his trunk fast to it and lowered it
out of the window into the area of the
house then tying the cord to the leg of
the bed, he followed his trunk, unseen by
the company, who were in the front part of
the house, and unfastening it and shoul-
dering it, walked off, quite relieved that
he had got out of such an awkward posi-
tion os easily.
In vain they waited for the bridegroom;
the minister had arrived, and the guests
were all waiting; SO Mrs. Pollard went to
his room and knocked upon his door,
then called to him; but there was no ans
wer; so she walked in, there was no Job
there. She took in the whole scene at one
gaze, and sat down for moment undeci-
ded what to do; then she went down to
the parlors and informed her guests that
her intended son-in-law had injured him.
self severely y while dressing, and the cere-
mony would have to be postponed
Among the company was young doctor,
who insisted upon seeing the injured man,
and Mrs Pollard was obliged to confde
her suspicious to him; and he being quite
wag, told party of friends; and SO it got
out.
I dare not tell my readers where Job
AltlGIS WGuG US lUI Vtto' OlldLu duu utT
daughter would hunt him up and sue him
for breach of promise. But Betsey is still
blooming maiden of nineteen, and still
lives with her mother at Is Chinchilla
court; and if you have friend who is
anxious to get married, but is too bashful
to propose, why, it's Leap Year, and
there is chance.
How THEY Do Tin Chicago, when
they ask you to drink, they say, "Nom-
mate your family disturbance"
In St. Louis: Choose your pizen."
In Cincinnati : "Do you feel like driv
ing a nail in your coffin ?"
In Louisville "Let's put an enemy
in our mouths"
In New York: "Let's reduce our
selves below the level of the bru5es."
In Boston: "Let's violate (the Ii.
quor law)
In Frankfort: "Let's absorb"
In New Orleans "Shall We fortify 2"