The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-29
Wif ats Dutttur.

aTif ants Dutltur.
- Henpecked-oats.
- An i'll bred mana sick baker.
Spruce Bier-a new hearse.
A paradise for rats-Nor-way.
"A drop too much-the hang
mans.
IT .ght pants-Asthmaticai breath
ings.
- Is maid in male attire self
made man?
The soig of the billiard ball-Oh
carom me back.
- What ship has two mates and
no captain ?-Courtship.
rhe most important bet ever
made-the alphabet.
- Is 1t an evidence ia want of un-
derstandlng to be out at the toes?
- Why is the tread-mill like true
convert F! Because its turning is the
result of the mans conviction.
- What portion of your property
does another use freely without consul
ting you Your name.
- A man who courts young wom-
an i'm the starlight probably expects to
get wife in twinkling.
- The latest invention is said to be
ink made from india rubber. This ink
is in demand by Congressman to write
their speeches with.
The streets in Detroit were re-
Gently flooded because of the obstruc
ton of The sewers by cast-otf hoop
skirts.
A clergyman said he addressed
his congregation of ladies and gentle
men as brothers, because the ''brether-
I'M embrace the ladies.
A COW in Indiana has given
birth to eight calves. Two of them
were of ordinary size, and are alive; the
others are not much larger than rats;
he COW died.
"A late and ridiculous error in ty-
biography was that of line in a pro-
gramme where for "The burial of Mo-
ses." was substituted, "The barrel of
molasses."
An exchange contends that not
withstanding the popular prejudice in
favor of the innocence OF the fair sex
while the present style Of head dress
continues in vogue, their gilt is very
manifest.
- A country doctor, being out for
= days shooting, took his errand boy
to carry the game bag. Entering a
field of turnips, the dog pointed, and
the boy overJoyed at the prospect of
his masters success, exclaimed :
ssLer master, there is covey if You
get near 'em won't you physic 'em 2"
s.Physic them you young rascal "
What do you mean 2" said the doctor.
why Kill 'em to be sure,' replied
the lad.
az believe that mine will be the fate
of Abel said a wife to her husband
one day "Why so ?" inquired the
husband. "Because Abel was killed by
a club and your club will be the death
Of me if you continue to go to it every
night"
Another Doctor friend of mine
metrone OF his old acquaintance short
time since i'll a crowd. and saluted him
.s ia often done by others-'Why are
Won alive vet y sOh yes, Doctor was
The reply Il never took that last medi-
cine you left me
= swell, Uncle do you see any
particular difference in neighbor Jim
Smith since he joined the church ~
'.Oh yes.' was the reply, ga great Diff
erence. Before when he went out in
his Garden to work on Sunday, he car
RED his tools OH his shoulder, now he
carries them under his overceat.
old Duifin has advertised Tor
travelling companion through Switzer-
land he Is reused from his BED at o.
clock A. NJ, by misunderstanding
al believe sir, you have advertised ioT
a travelling companion DUNN ~
have SIR" Larkins :"Ah, theh, titeu I
AS was passing on my way home from
the club, I'd ju cal !; anu TEL you III II
can't 60 with YOU"
An Indian came to a certain
agent in the Northern part OF Iowa, TO
nrocure some whiskey for Il young war
rior who ha6 been bitten by rattle
snake. At first the agent did not red
it the story but the earnestness OF the
Indian and the urgency OF the case
oyerca ne all his scrul les. lie asked
the Indian show much ne wanted
.Four quarts" answered the lhdlan.-
aFour quarts - repeated the agent III
much surprise, 'sas much as tilat =
ayes" replied the Indian, iro Shlhg as
sayaeely as if he was going TO wage
war of determination Oh the Whoie
snake.tribe. 1'Four quarts-shake We
rybig."
In Wisconsin, an Indian woman
died recently at the age of one hundred
An Mountaineering left son Who is
years old. ,...,
The above sireminds us of a little sto-
~ lately narrated in our hearing, OF
:, yo,entleman who i'll The course OF his
fra wells in the West, one day emerged
froro a neck of timber, and suddenly de-
acr;ed country tavern, upon the porch
sat one of the oldest white haired men
he had ever seen, and crying like a
child, In an answer to an inquiry us
to the cause of his trouble, ne sooDed
ont lthat his father had licked nm. =
IJpon entering the bar room the tray
eler discovered another ana muen old
or man behind the bar, whom ne adares-
sed "You seem to nave naa some
trouble here stranger, your son !, ,hlofiiis
me that YOU have whipped nm.
ayes" reioined the landlord eXcited-
". II could not avoid it the young fas-
cal was chasing MS gra.luld.I ,;m, Id
a ten acre lot and stoning nm. ma
to interfere stranger"
"A correspondent Of the Louis
Vile journal furnishes us the following
spitaph IT,
A-Quartermaster.
Major Leonidas Constantine WIggles-
who,
At the battle of Resaca,
May IA, 1864,
was killed
Rv the kick of mule in the thinnest of