Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1868-04-17


the faint Sadly they ariz, one after an
other, their depleckshun contrastin pow
erfully with the hilarity Nv moment
before.
Ringin bell, Randall sed to the clerk
who answered it, ez follers;
"Yoo may inform the bands that it
will not be necessary for EN- to longer
wait The men attendin the artillery may
retire to the bosoms Nv their families, and
those waitin to be formed into sponta-
neous procession may be dismissed. The
President has decided not to beserenaded
to-nite"
jest then band wuzheard approachin
=" Thunder sed Randall, dare ther
play without orders"
But we discovered that it wuz not the
ofishal band A percession wuz soon a
passin afore the White House headed by
Transparency, onto wich was dead
duck, with face wonderfully like his
Eggslency's and the band behind wuz a
playin ded marches and sich, with muf-
fled drums. Four times these hartlis Gus
ses passed up and down afore the White
House.
Is it not hidyus ," sed the President,
"Served 700 rite, sed |. "Yoo wood
take matters in yoor own hands-yoo
wood attempt the work NV Statesman
with the qualiicashuns Of police court
lawyer Wretched man sed |, trans
fin him with my piercenest gaze, Why
wood yoo attempt to eat fire whose mouth
is only capable NV Limburg cheese? With
Grant at the head NV the armies, why did
700 attempt revolushun? When yoo at
tempted to drive Stanton out, hedn't yoo
sense enuff to no that it made a direct
ishoo atween WOO and the Ablishnists from
which they Good not escape, and that yoor
death or theirn wuz inevitable? Yoo
made it necessary for them to slay yoo,
and in trooth, they've made lively COM
mensment. Moo Hampsheer is fatal
stab, IMPEACHMENT will foller in thirty
days and then long farewell to all our
glory. Good mite, your Eggslency, pleas
ant dreams. I'll to my chamber"
And left the old man weepin great
tears and bitter ones.
Isent the follerin dispatch home to the
Cross Roads, by telegraph. Twuz ruthen
expensive on the government, but Seward
told me that telegrafin wuz legiti.
mate expenditoor, and to yoose the wires
ez much ez | chose.
To Pogram, Deekin, McPelter and
Gavitt, Jr., Trustees
THESE GREETIN ;-Deerly beloved, !
saloot yoo. Not joyfully with litenes;
NV heart, but ON the contrary, quite the
reverse. We've bustid Veni, Vidi
Tjci! wich, the way we translate it
means eve cum, we saw, and got
squeezed" 1t is my painful dooty to in.
form 700 that Moo Hampshire, NV wich
we expected better things, hez gone lu
natic agin, and hez elected haier NV u:
uns and ourn, ez its Cheef-magistrate
In this crisis direct that next Friday
mornin between the hours of 8 and II
A. NJ, be observed as day of fastir
and humiliation / wood hev yoo hole
servises at the church, but | found that
he'd brot away in my valise the only Bi
BILE in the Corners and it is therefore i'm
possible Ez no labor is ever done Al
the Corners it amt necessary to drect
700 to abstain therefrom, but yoo viii
give over yoor yoosual occupashuns e.
follers;
1. No seven up or poker playir
doorin that period.
2. No hoss rasin, copper pitchin
fghtin, or other amoosments viii be ad
missible.
s. And that the flesh may be morti
fled commensurate with the calamit,
that hez befalien us. No likker will b.
allowed betweed those hours, ceptin t.
invalids and persons Nv extreme age.
There viii be weepin and wailin a
the Corners when this is received
PETROLEUM. V. NAsBY, P. M.
(Which is Postmaster
/