The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-03-08
LIFE OF WILLIAM srIckEH.
STORY FOR MALE uscHns, By A. HEAD.

When was little boy, which was once, and
was "little pitcher with big ears" / went to
school, This will surprise those who read my
writings, but such Is the case, it is hard case.
| also went to Sunday school, and learned that
"the way Of the transgressor is hard" aud to 'be
sure your sins viii find you OUT" and that "hon-
esty is the best policy" and SIGH. The "com-
mittee menr told US urchins to study hard. be
good boys, and one day we should grow up and
take the places of the old folks, and be select
men," and perhaps aldermen, and mayors, and
commissioners and member of Kongressers. So
was good boy and grew up to be ga nice young
man, and the consequence is never got to be
any Of the aforementioned fellers. Somehow, my
education was neglected. But | had school
mate who he was "a brick" He could cyfer
sum, and be could beat us all plsyin marbles. He
never got clicked cause he always lied off his
tricks onto some Of the rest of us, and it didn't
cost his dad much to support him, cause he
always stole our dinners 10 feed his sickly sole
onto. His name was Bill-Bil Sucker. Bill used
to forge excuses" or "leaves Of Absence" and
when he got caught one day, and the school
master told him he was bad boy. and must
leave the skoel. Bill pulled out pack of cards
and told the skoolmaster he'd play him game Of
az up" to see whether he left or not The skool-
master ''saw him" and raised him'-with the
toe of his boot He then cautioned US children
and urchins to beware, aud to take warning that
He was elected alderman, then q commits.
soner, and finally sent to Kongress.
He died miserable death, and this was the
how of it.
He learned, early in life. to play poker with
marked-bsck cards. Mark what followed. He
shook loaded dice for the drinks and drank early
and often. He drank gin and whisky, those foul
enemies OF mankind, which they tend down 10
ruin, wickedness, death aud loss Of site. Yes,
he put the enemy in his mouth to steal away the
brains which he never had, and threw away his
time, his money, his talents, his all (he learned
the shoemsker's trade) on miserable ruinOus,
poisonous, flthy-tasting whisky and gin, when
when, my friends-that same young man might
have got the best Of brandy for only 2 bits
drink
And SIGH is human lifel
All flesh Is grass
We live to morrow
But dye to-day.
Bill was one day travelling on a Mississippi
steamboat with 2bular bilers. He was playin his
favorite game of "7-up,r when the bilers bust
and up he went AS he was sgoin up, he met his
opponent comm down, and be sung ont to him
" keep to the right; and mind, don't shuttle them
cards ill get down, for / shall call for q new
deslr'
But was "the feller's" last shuffe-he "shuf.
fed of his mortal coyle."
Repeat the previous foregoin' stanzy above,
beginnin', % AL flesh Is grass" etc.-if you
want 10 y
Bill was "theater feler;u he would 20.
when urchin, to the st. Charles. and going up
chamber would shell peanuts and throw them
down onto the bald beds OF the heirless old fell
leIs that went to see the natural attractions Of
the /" Black Crook" legitimate American play
by Will Shakespeare the younger. There is a great
moral TO this play for IL exhibits TO US the naked
truth, and reminds US OF our LIST parents in the
esrding Of Lding. Those Of my readers who saw
our lat nj ant nh Ia hos
nize the SIC fdnlile resemblance.
Ater the act, Bill would go to the " Pheenix,y
and rushln' up TO Andy" he would say: I" Gin
me a glass er brandy an warter quicken thun-
der, for q lady what's got tainted into the 80.
Chares;" and good-natured Andy, not wanting
woman TO suffer when it was in his power to
prevent, would let Bill have it; but that was the
last he ever seed Of Bill or the tumbler; for he
pocket to give to his " uncle - for another drink
somewhere else, after the next act. 1t was not
surprisn that smart lad like this should Git to
kongress. Trooly, I" virtue has its own reward -
One mite he went to the Academy and told 'em
he belonged to the press, and Exit" let him
press in. He told him in maiden accents to " 90
right in de ball" Bill went in, of course and he
carried in bucket Of flowers, and went and sot
up near the private box, where the "sportsn sit,
and when the Clineside dorters come out he
throwed the flowers, and sed, in the words of the
poet Of Ctrfolton, eli. hi 70 Bet the Cliueside
dorters spurned him, and said they could play out
their engagement without any OF his help. And
SO they could.
This THROWN flowers to actresses amt what 1.
"a cracked up to be- Ii seems q good deal
like payin Is sense to a bsrkeeper for the priv.
lege OF askin him to drink his own whisky with
you. never could see where the laugh come
IN but the bsrkeeper seems to, for he alters
drinks when he's asked, and puts away your
money for his drink shnstr as material Iikel I
never take nothing myself, but I've heard 'em
TAX about 1t in the grocery stores.' But this
hIVneaa haa in 10 d., ..rteh
ton, except in congressional way, and SO IN re-
SOON.
notice when go to the theaters the people
always take their hats off, A good many people
have bad hats taken of, and their overcoats too,
by folks which they didn't belong tor 1t
what the brokers call "a forced lOan.u But thew |
Always let me aloan, because they know a news. |
paper man reyer has anything worth stealing.
, 40 return TO Bill. He won't come to as. for be-
fore you read this through he will be too drunk. |
We lett him at the Academy, aud of course he |
bas been enjoying himself all the time. As he /
went IN "dead-head" by representing himself as a |
newspaper man from Algiers, he wrote the fol
lowing notice, which he showed at the box office.
but which il never appeared:
IHE AcADEMY.-This building Is owned mostly |
BY Doctors Bidwell 4 Spalding. 1t Ia 8 stories
ngn, ana The story am telling about it, makes 4.
81. Charles street runs buy It, and Dolly Daveu-
port is the overseer He manages il well for ga
nlDd deceased" which nobody could minister
nut0, for there wasn't any minister around |
lhere Is very little room for improvement hear,
Md that is one OF the smallest rooms there is
everybody Is admitted free after passing the
ioorkeeper, who isn't the worst man in the bust.
ness, tecause there is worse nor he is City
money Ii - (here the notis stopped for want OF
tom
Poor Dolly II he had not dyed 80 young, he
would not have been able TO read his own Obituary
1otis in the papers without "specs"-uhlch he
JIG! Piece TO bis kashes.
!. Time flew On at rapid pace, and Bill grew up.
Most people grow up, He learned TO smoke but
,e never was able 10 smoke cigars enough In
lay 10 become a general or q candidate for presi.
tent, and smoke ont an army before him on that
ne, II he took ali summer. No; as q smokist
e was not sucksess. But the time came for
bill TO ''pass in his chips" and he did 1t with.
Of murmnr. Murmur spet backwards was
he cause Of IL. Try it,
There "a 0 good many Rilis.i in the znrih