Smyrna times., 1868-12-02
WHOLE NO. 719
SUCCESSFUL TEMPERANCE LOGIC.

TEMPERANCE LOGIC.
A small temperance society had been started
in a community very much under the control
OF a rich dlStlller commonly called Bill My
ers. This man had several SONS who had be-
come drunkards on the facilities afforded by
their education at home. The whole family
was arrayed against the movement, and threat
cncd to break up any meeting called to pro-
mote the object. Learning this, the Rev. Il.
L. Hunt went to a cighboring district for vol
untcers for that particular occasion. lie then
gave out word for a meeting, and at the same
time found his friends and enemies about equal
in plumbers. ThSact prevented any outbreak,
but could not prevent noise.
Mr. Hunt mounted the platform, and by IL
few sharp anecdotes and witty sayings soon
sencrd all noise except the sturdy " Bill My
ers, the old Dutchman crying out, " Mishtrr
Hunt, money makes the mare 60 To every
shot, which seemed ready to demoli>h him tho
Old fellow presented the shield, " Mlshtrr
Hunt, money makes the mare go"
At last MIR. Hunt stopped, and addressed
the imperturhahle German Look here Bill
Myers, ynu say that money makes the mare go,
do you?'
. Yes dat is inst what Isay, Mishter Hunt
=" Weil, Bill Myers. you own and work a
listiery, don't you?' inquired Mr. Hunt.
Dat iSh none Of your business, Mishter
IlulIls lDul uCU L lSu IlOG dSllIIlCu VI IT,
has got a still, and work it, too.
" And you say, Money makes the mare go:'
do You mean that have come here to get the
money of these peoplG?"
Yes, Mishter Hunt, dat ish just what
mean.
:" Very well you work distillery to make
money and lecture on Temperance to make
money and as you say Money makes the
mare go, Bill Myers bring Outyour mare, and
I,ct,, tlo
gether."
BY this time the whole assembly was in q
litter of delight and even Myers followers
could not repreSs their merriment at the evi-
dent embarrassment of their oracle. In the
meantime we must premise that Mr.. Hunt,
knew a large number of the drunkards pres
ent, and among them the sons OF Myers him.
SELF
"Bll Myers, who is that holding h;mselfup
o. that treeY inquired Mr.. Hunt, pointing to
young man so drunk that he could not stand
alone.
The old man started as if stung by an adder,
but was obliged to reply, dat ish my son;
but what Of dat, Mishter Hunt?"
I" A good deal of that, Bill Myers; for
guess that son has been riding your mare, and
got thrown, to-"
Here there was perfect roar from all parts
OF the assembly, and as soon as order was re-
9COlNAi ~hls num- plONOCuCu3 do hS pOlhNSO "
another son:
"Bill Myers, who is that staggering about
as if his legs were as weak as potatoe-vines
after frost?'
"Well | suppose dat ish my son, too" re-
piled the old man with crestfallen look.
He has been riding your mare too and got
a tumble"
At this point the old man putup both hands
in most implOring manner, and exclaimed:
! - NOXU MIShfar HINT NUOn'f
more, will be still
! This announcement was received with a roar
of applause and laughter, and from that mo-
ment Mr.. Hunt had all the ground to himself
-~~~~
A SHREwD IRTsnMAN.-A An Irish priest was
standing at the corner of a square about the
| hour of dinner when one of his cOuntrymen,
observing the worthy father i'll perpcxity, thus
addressed him:
"Oh, Father O'Lcary, how is your river
ence ?'
Nightly put out Pat" was the reply.
Put out who d put out your reverence ?''
"Ah sou don't understand; that is just it;
| am invited to dine at one Of the houses in
this square, and | have forgotten the name,
and | never looked at the number, and now it
is nearly one O'clock
ooh, is that ALP was the reply lust now
be aisy, your reverence. I'll settle that for
you.
So saying, away flew the good-natured Irish
man round the square glancing at the kitchens,
and when he discovered a fire that denoted
hospitality, he thundered at the door and iu-
quired
:" Is Father O'Leary here?
AS might be expected, again and again he
was repulSed. At length an angry footman ex-
claimed:
" No; bother on Father O Leary, he is not
here but he was to dine here to day. and the
cook is in rage and says the dinner will be
spoiled. All is waiting for Father o Leary. +"
Pady, lcaping from the door as if the steps
were on fire, rushed up to the astonishcd priest.
saying:
=" All is right, your reverence you dine at 4S,
and a mighty good dinner you'll get"
"Oh, Pat y said the grateful pastor, =" the
blessings of hungry man be upon you"
Long life and happiness to your reverence
, l have got your malady, | only wish had your
cure"