Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1868-01-02

DANt " AAh
"Let them alone and be decent
You needcn't go round braggin.
and thinking I'm proud OF YOU
I'm mortified half to death abou
your outrageous behavior. Your
enough to aggravate q plaster 0
Paris angel, you are. Why dom
you try to be genteel, and go dOwI
and practice on the front door step
with a bar of soap and scrubbine
brush, instead of bowling around
the town about women's rights, ,anC
making a perfectly absurd old witcF
of yourself?"
"Why, Wiki"
II expect nothing else but you
win be sporting a high hat next
and trying to part your hair behind
what you've got left oft at least.
"Wilkins, I'll scratch"
"But | don't care how much big
ger tool you make of yourself, on.
ly you're just polluting the minds
of my offsprings and teaching them
to walk in the road to ruin. Its
too outrageous for ANYTHING
There's Breckenridge Augustus has
been and saved up and bought a
high hat, and he staggers around
un er it, looking more like some
old clothes pin with an iron pot
hung on to it, than like the child of
respectable parents. There's more
hat than there is boy, and the first
thing you know, he'll shut up in it
like a telescope and very likely
smother to death, and all along of
your ridiculous tomfoolery and
neglect of your own offspring.
"Wilkins, thati is ridiculous"
81 say it's shameful that you
should set an example to your chill
dren, and stuff such ideas into Ho-
lofernes Montgomery's head; and
he's doing his all fired best to grow
a moustache, until it's drawing all
the strength out of his scalp, and
his heads getting bald, and he has
rubbed his upper lip with forcing
salve until it's swelled up about the
size of five cent loaf of bread, so
thai his nose looks like hole in his
face, and the boys constitution is
undermined for life. It's perfectly
outrageous"
"You know that amt so, Mr."
4" And I've mad, up my mind
not to stand any longer, foryou've
spoiled Mary Jane, so that she tried
to shave herself with my razor, and
if it had slipped, it would have cut
her innocent throat,if you hadn't tta-
ken the edge off hacking your aboT-
nahle corns and bunions and SO on.
And she's got so stuck up that she
mas a boy to carry her books to
school for her, and the little scoun
lrel thinks he is in love with her,
md he spends his missionary money
'uying apples for her, and robs the
,oor, inoffensive heather in a dis
ant land, and prepares himself for
felon's grave, and all because you
leglect your children and join
lubs, and associate with strong
minded old hags, and read essays a
million miles long, and want to vote
nd behave yourselflike the regular
lab-sided, long-necked, scraggy
Id woman that you are. | say"
"Take that now, and if you come
ack here again I'll be the death Of
ou," said Mrs, Wilkins, as a dull
hud was heard, evidently proceeding
rom the contact of wilkins physi- !
al frame with the floor. In fact,
FRS. Wilkins had kicked him out
+ bed.
But they made it up again, for
heard Wilkins abusing his wife in
he morning, for starching his peck
t handkerchief so stiff that he I
cratched all the skin off his nose. @
Thnra 10 q. cnmnanv of A rohian l