Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-03-27
NUMBER So.
.rIfings Wise & Cthcrvvise.
Brishatn Young taxes bachelors 500

.rhings Wise 81 Othcrvvfse.
Brishatd Young taxes bachelors 500
each. aga 81 sas Il i3ssss ~ NJ 80
Barnum Ia 70 rebuild his paiacs "
humbtfgi a Ilg s.sss go
A rtisn who was bidding fora mare
try her speed, and rode of with the an
imah f8aile liss ~ Sc 1850
"You look, y said an irishnian to !
| pale, haggard sn1oker, "i,s IL you had
got out Of your grave to light your OF
gar, and coufdn' find your way back"
4 Paddy, where's the whiskey I gavs
| you t0 clean the windows with?
'a'Och, master, i Just drank it,; and I
thought Ii brcathed on the glass IL
would be all the same 81 svseyaer
An officer, on roview day, happen
ed 20 be thrown from his horse. As he
lay sprawling ON tire ground, he said to
| a friend who ran To his assistance, nI
thought I had Improved In my riding,
but 1 find have ftttion cf."
For cracked and sore hand caused by
exposure to cpid aifd wet weather. take
| two ounces OF sweet drs0live oil: warm
| it over a show fire add TO IL lump ~
bccswax tire OF n walnut; thoroughly
| dissolved. apply freely every night.
IL will keep the hands soft, n,,d is heal-
ing.
Mr.. Murdoch Is advertised 10 give \
series vf readings IA. Chicago Tor tho
benefit of Mrs. Dickens, a poor widow
IN that city, anil sisterin law of cllas.
| Dickens, whose writings abound In lse-
nevoient characters aud open hanlod
charities. Where In Dickens. With his
readings wen YORK. Hefaid.
Look o. hcrer, / want sou IL paw
up year beard bill, aud yen ifi,sst. Two
asked you for IL often enoiIgli; nrd
tell you now that YOU done leave my
house until you pay it," ''Goodi"
said his lodger; "jast put that down In
writin'; make regtflnr agreement.nf
II; ;I'llstay with YOU as long ns | livr."
A man who was great sticslor for
etiquette, having married II widow lsc-
fofe her period of nab,irn'fng had expir-
ed, soon utter srad6 his Appearance
with weed on his hat On being
spoken to on such singular conduct, Ire
remarked that he considered 10 no naoru
than the handsome thing towards his
lamented predecessor,
A young and pretty girl stepped Into
\ store where's yolfrg man, whip had
long been enamored but dared not
speak, stood behind the counter. la
order to remain as long as possible she
cheapened everything Mt last she said;
II believe you think J ata cheating
you,o "Oh, no" was the reply; "to
me you are always fair ~ "Well,n -
whispered the lady. blushing as she
laid mn emphasis on the word, ~ would
not stay 80 long bargaining, ifyon were
not so dear"
My DEAR said an affeetionnte wife,
what shall we have for dlnner today
One OF your snyiics,' replied the hus-
Bus / can't replied the wife, .Theu
went to his business. He returned to
his dinner. This ism excellent stcak.s
said he, ''what did you pay for ID q
l"Why. what YOU gave me this MORT
ing, to be sure replied his wife! "The
deuce you did, exclaimed he, "tlIen
you shall have money the next tilfie
you go to market" H GA faat
The pastor OF city church wus cate
chising tho pupils Of bis Sabbath
School, mud remarked: Remember.
dear children, that God is verwhere.'
The words had hardly escaped his lips,
when a roguish little fellow rose up
aud said TO tho pastor: Please, Sir.
did you say that God was everywhere,
Yes, my son everywhere Is he In
my pocket q Yes, lie is Ia your peck.
et.' Well, guess I've got you there
was the triumphat retort because 7
aint got any pockets. - 'sss 81
4 sa : y UF M " y