The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-09-27
MORNING STAR AND CATHOLIC MESSENGERS.
NEW ORLEANS, SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER 81, 1868.
WIT AND wIsDON.

What comes after cheesei Mice.
Good man to go on the police-Mr. Ketch-
The greatest bet ever made-The alpha
bet.
Never waste your time waste somebody
elses.
The first persons in the fall trade-Adam
and Eve.
The prettiest lining for bonnet IS
pretty face.
In what does the strength of cheese con-
sistF It's mite.
How sweet to recline in the lap of ages
say about eighteen.
If thou wax angry, speak little; and that
little not vehemently.
Few ladies are so modest as to refuse to
sit in the lap of luxury.
Living from hand to mouth is what wit
calls (" manual exercise"
Clever pickpockets are said to be the best
men to dis-purse a crowd.
Does a man with one arm have an off
hand way of doing thingsf
A fop often fancies he is cock of the walk
when he is only coxcomb.
Often a man drives a pair of grays, while
he himself is driven by duns.
We should not retain the remembrance
of faults we have once forgiven.
If I were in the sun, and you were out of
it, what would the sun BET Sin.
What point do people almost always
overlook? The point of the nose.
What medicine does man take for a
scolding wife, He takes an elixir.
The man who feathered his nest is sup
posed to have been a dealer in poultry.
"My bark is on the sea, }" as the cur said
when the captain threw him overheard.
Al, SC
York says he has no fancy for Auburnlock
Never cross a bridge before you come to
it; thereby you will save half the troubles
of life.
Young men anxious to get rid of their
wild oats would do we'll to get q sewing
machine.
Some men will not shave on Sunday, and
vet spend all the week in shaving their fell
low-men.
When Adam and Eve partook of the tree
of knowledge, did they study the higher
branches
Why are your eyes like friends in differ
ent climes7 Because they correspond, but
never meet.
Which can travel the fastest, heat or
cold? Why, heat, of course; anybody can
catch a cold.
Is it not strange that railway trains can
run over so many sleepers without waking
any of them 7
A benevolent old lady has taken the idea
into her head of knitting pair of hose for
q fire-engine.
When a man loses his building lot, is he
blind7 Don't know; but he has certainly
been deprived of his site.
Solomon advises the sluggard to go to
the ant but the shiftless of our day gener-
ally go to their =" uncle"
1t is as difficult for revenge to act with
out exciting suspicion, as for rattlesnake
to stir without making a noise.
Character doesn't depend on diet. The
ass eats thistles and nettles-the sharpest
of food, and is the dullest of animals:
How many wives does the prayer-book
allow7 Sixteen-four (for) richer, four (for)
poorer, four (for) better, four (for) worse
Mrs. Darlington wants to know fit were
not intended that women should drive thell
husbands, why they are put through the
bridal ceremony.
If YOU want to move an audience, pass
round your hat, soliciting contributions fol
: some charitable object. They'll scatter il
double quick time.
An old maid is more liberal than young
one. The latter may always be willing tt
lend you a hand; the former will give you
one and thank you, too.
The milkmen of Toledo recently had
picnic, when one of their number wore
pumps, which was regarded as reflection
on his associates, and they gave him
ducking.
An incorrigble idler being taken to tasl
+! for his laziness, replied: 81 tell you, gentle
men, you are mistaken. l have not a laz.
{, bone in my body; but the fact is, 1 IRA
! born tired"
/ "Is there is any danger of the boa con
i strictor biting 2" asked visitor of a zoolo
4 gical Snowman. Not the least" replied
Il the latter, he never bites, he swallow
!! his whites whole"
Il "Martha, what letter in the alphabet dc
I, you like the best 2" "Well, don't like t.
! say, James" Pooh, nonsense tell m,
! right out; Martha, which do you like bestP
I "Well," said Martha, dropping her eyes
u 81 like l. the best