The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-05-24
MORNING Star AID cATHoI1o, 11ssxMaH
NEW ORLEANS. SUNDAY. MAY -. 1884,
WIT AND WINDOW.

ls never ON the right side found.
A deed Of Observation-Disclosures.
The wine duty-Passing the bottle.
Tight pants-Asthmatica breathings.
The harness Of ffe-The traces of time
The notes which singers like best-Banl
A safe>robbery is not always safe ope
One lash to q good horse one word-to ,
wise man. ~ ~ j. j = 80,
What is that which is often found wher,
It Is not Fault. -
The flowers of speech spring from tn,
roots of the tongue.
The most dangerous bat that flies a,
night is- the brick-bat.
What do you always do before you 90 te
sleep? Shut your eyes.
Bigotry murders religion to brighten fools
into the belief of her ghost.
When does woman's tongue go quick
est When it is on q railroad
What is that which is Enlightened by
being cut at both endsf A ditch.
Why does a donkey like thistles better
than cornf Because he is an ass
When a shoemaker begins to manufacture
last.
When can a road he said to be decided in
it's views? When it has positive inclina-
tion. :. :.
Miss Tompkins says every unmarried
lady OF forty has passed the Cape of Good
Hope.
In former times wife regarded her hus-
band as companion now he is her
banker.
Nobody ever sees an action as very
wrong while under the excitement of COM
hitting it.
Woman-The first gatherer of fruit-by
picking the first apple she caused the first
pair to fall.
A German emperor took for his motto
Better please one good man than q crowd
of bad ones"
The latest novelty is machine, accord
ing to Fun, that will follow the thread of
an argument.
"A Down East editor has got such a cold
in his head that the water freezes on his
face when he washes it. r.
What is the difference between an oyster
and chicken 2. One is best right out of the
shell, and the other isn't.
Nothing SO adorns the face as cheerful
ness when the heart is in flower, its bloom
and beauty pass to the features.
al do not say" remarked Mrs. Brown,
8 that Jones is thief; but do say, if his
farm Joined mine, would not try to keep
sheep"
1t is exceedingly bad husbandry to har-
row up the feeling of your wife, to rake up
old quarrels, to hoe a grudge, and to SOW a
discord.
At a public house in Devonshire the land
lord has it painted up outside his door,
Good beer sold here; but don't take nv
word for it,
dwelling was not blown away in a late
storm, was because there was heavy
mortgage on it.
1t is not until the flower has fallen off
that the fruit begins to ripen. SO in life it
is when romance is past that practical use
fulness begins.
A pert little girl boosted to one of her
little friends that her father kept n carriage. |
"Ah, but my father drives an omnibus ~
was the triumphant reply.
The love of cross woman, it is said, is |
stronger than the love of any other female |
individual. Like vinegar, the affections of
a Mgh-strung woman never spoil.
On the occasion of an eclipse, colored
individual in Norfolk, Va, became greatly |
elated. "Bress de Lord !" said he, " mig
gers time hab come at fast-and now we
gwine to hab Il black sun! ~
"Margery, what did you do with the tai
low that MIR. Jones creased his boots with
to-day 2" "Please, larm, fried the grid
die cakes with it, - Lucky for you; 1
thought you had wastedit." -.,
credulous man said to wag, who had
Il wooden leg: How came you to have a
wooden leg p "Why," answered the wag,
8" my father had one, and SO had my grand
father. 1t runs in the bloo6I'
For brevity and aptness we have seldom
read more appropriate tombstone inscrip
ton than this:
To THE MEMORY OF MARY Mum.
Silence is Wisdom.
A gentleman at an eating house asked
the person next to him if he would please
to pass the mustard. "Sir," said the man,
do you mistake me for waiter 7" oh,
no. sir, WIS the renlN. 8. miStoOk YOU for |