The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1868-01-15
"A maiden speecil-.ssk papa.

"A silent paFtner-Gen. GRAFT. 5ea i-ts
Il question Of tin.c-wllat ciock1
The 'sheriff's igiou-Writ-ua lism. iaa
The yard arm Thirty six. inches. .
A tight" place-A drinking saloon. =
NOnay Ct for cats concert4Thc tom tom
Thelap fluxary-A cat enjoying her milk
"A Irame for female b.ll club-Feninine.
How can a night watchman get his per
dieEa? e l-,a ssl-es
The best dramatic story on the stsge-Ris-
tori. ,.s..,,.
.sWhat is the best color for good action
Dun. IS ..sfsaeSss3 szF} !. 7aAa..s gst
,s.The voices of, Night Those blessed ba-
bles. ri sss q; jeos6aa ers4s. sr.. $3.50.
The dancing masters paradise-A hop
garden. II Is
A shocking thing to think of--A galvanic
battery.
NJ. Stewards title will hereafter be Secre-
tary Of Estate. i!t ns
= They don't use perfume at the mint for
making g cents a
The best material 70: making soldiers boots
r-Ihe 'Ides OF March. 80 -. 80.
Does COW become real estate when she is
tur.sd Into a meadow ~e
e. Carpenters should be looked after-maaY
of them are countersfttcrs.
The 'lasses candy wedding is when the first
baby gets big enough to lick.
The reason we admire pretty feet-Be-
cause all s we'll that ends we'll
To the benevolent.-Jud knows man SO
hard up that he sleeps OF tick.
Some one calls the time of squeezing girls
hands the palmy season Of life. sg,f
A young woman's conundrum Who is our
favorite Roman hero Aarius.
geIf Beauty draws US by a single hair," who
can withstand a modern waterfall!
> 1t may be paradoxical, but a generous hotel
landlord is au inn hospitable man. ~
70 When can a road be said to be emotional
When it has a positive inclination.
q Twenty four grains make one pennyweight
Que dram makes fifteen pennies 60 - q
.. A company formed for the production of tar.
q may with propricty be called a target company.
There were not righteous people enough in
! Sodow to save it, but there was pretty good
Lot. q. sg@srs.7
Brigham Young conducts his connubial az
j.. fairs on the principle OF "large business and
small profits" 80 '..- 80 E
A man who had scolding wife being ask
cd what he did for q living, replied that he
kept hot house. fss
,e A Miss Penny hes been turning herself
honestly by writinga book Oh s'womans work
and woulans pay"
ma Why is husband like a Mississippi steam
boat! Because he sever knows how soon he
may get blowing-up.
What is the difference between a gauge.
dress aad drawn tooth? One is tooth in
and the other is tooth OUT ssv.f gsf7.
The song Of the repentant husband after
knocking his wife down. -"Come, rest in my
bosom. my own stricken dear"
A husband, on being told the other even
ing that his wife had lost her temper, replied
that he was gl.d Of it, for it was u very bao
one. aanr- - r .r.l ..st,
Why are the Radicals putting and blowing
30 tremendously just now because they are
having long-wludcd Chase after the prssi
dency. .p 9re s.s
'Never listen to flatterers," said mother
to her daush liter. "Why, mother, how shall !
know that they hatter without | listen? was
the quick response Of the young Miss.
The frantic julia in the "Hunchbsck,"
excIaisns, &C iftord, why don't you SPEAK
to meY The Radicals are now exclarlng,
'G-r-r-rsnt, why don't you speak to us p
I. II is said Of fashionable lady who went
to a party not long since that she arrived
there about the first of the evening, but II
last Of her dress did not arrive until after u
O'Clock. eA.s' 'tehrN
: An Irish waiter at G hotel, ordered by a |
weary traveller to bring a larger boot jack
than the one in the house. advised the broad |
tpoted guest to 60 further and use the fork il
the road just beyond; sr
4 small dog having been cur-tailed Of his
fair proportions" presented himself at tho
Brokers BOARD for discount, being troublee
with lie shorts bat was refused because hs
Was un,lle IL produce col lateral.
SUESDEi--5;s,.. .or ,As : VALLEY Vln |
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