The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1868-08-22
CITY
How - see NisRra.
fFrun the Ckieaeo fimeeA

now ~ ~
!. fTrom The Chicago fiussl
Tnsee kiagra, ron mnst hny eleven six
dresses for your wife. ands SIX shirts for your
self. You then get all the ready money you
have, borrow All your friends Lave. and make
arrangements for unlimited credi. at two OF
three good, solver, banks. Yon then take
six trunks, some more mony = nurse, ) col
ored servant, some more money and than, az
ter getting some more money, and extending
your credit e. zone or two more strong
banks, you set on. It is better il ossibie,
just before yon leavesto mortgage your home-
stead and getsome mere money!.
After getting there, your cbeapest plan
viii be TO purchase q hotel ard . carriage
and term. You can stay there q week aud
then give away The hotel aud scarriage, and
stlIl make money BY the operssion.
If not di posed to economy ycu can pur-
sue the Ordinary lavish American way Of tax
! ing rooms at 8 carasansary, and paying for
everything at the regular rates.
Tie frs step to see Niagara is to dress
your wife in one Of the moot expensive suits.
Yourself ditto. Your wife then goes into the
uarlors on exhibition. You, light a cigar, go
out Oh the yeranda, and put ycm heels high
upen a column. While your wife finds ont if
anybody has any more expensive clothes than
EAt t11 up e6f|
sona woman out OF countsn2nee.
As a general thing your last effort win be
a ~faisuTe
some times, az r people have examined
| each other fer a week or 20, in the pariors
and at the dinner table, they take a fancy to
20 out and lock at some water, which, at this
place ID ns over q hill. This is nc, always
done. Nevertheless, when there i III in
other oi airs. some of the more energetic Wis
itors GO out and visit the river. /
The wTeter falls overt the precipice at q point
some sixty feet from the rearsof tbs hotel.
To sit this remarkable phenomenon yonne-
gociate fpr a barouche, a PAIR ofhorses and q
driver. u
To get over this sixty feet, you get in the
carriage and are driven slowly down the riv.
er for three miles. That Is what happened to |
me: 1
When ! had been driven toward the falls \
FOR three miles, the driver said we were at
tie whirlpool. Paid him O dollar for fhe in,
formation. and then went down 10 see the
whirlpool.
YOU bay 70 m excellent view of The whirlpool
from the top ofthe bank. But there are stairs
which GO down to the water whe-s the view |
is not balfso good, owing to the ~losness of
the situation. 1ou can go Down in bait an
hour if ydn hurry. When yon get down to tba
you eau see nothing therefore pre-
pare to as end.
II is brdiling hot, and an ascent Olive hun
dred steps stares you in the face.
When one reaches the top he has just
enough life IN him TO be able to read q sign
has been hung E, whiie he WAS away
One dollar each TO be appropriated for the
Of orphans
My representation to the young man. that
~ a mr. mr. prrdn nod, a fyoot Jtwa.
othtr orphan that he labured FOR. He wa. ssl
orphan OF about fifty years. tels sorry for
lis motherless condition..
There is anotberdesolata orphan there who
s a~rmless, and who is berett Of his parents al
he tender age of sixtY-fve For being An Or
and not haglng any arms, he collects o
io,lar from each visitor.
Paying The driver another dollar for hay.
ne waited on me, / continued the Journey to
he falls. The next move in getting tothe falls
oixists in driving over inio Canada. For
he privilege OF guigg INTO Canada, one pays
man a dollar.
The Canadian journey to the Falls is ro-
1aHiic and full 81 i~ncltent. You begin BY
aging something TO a woman for passing her
onse.
The next view Of the falls is a blind nan
18th a camera, you pay him something.
utiG ID q fCkIcsS huA ~ - HIi5HJ.. Lou L
ny him something.
Another fine view the of falls occurs here.
GU pay a nan FIVE dollars for O photograph
f yourself seated ii -FOUR carriage.
As yon trive along sou 0 btain views ofthe ,
ilis by discussing al o hotel for leuonadss, |
another blind man, to An indian, to some
who exhibitsa stuffed Wild cat. 10 a
omen with fawus, to q man with rocks,
I'd some sixty or seventy others. The reeus 1
r minimum charge for each one Of these is
dollar. r
After having paid the respective charges
e carriage goes back to the hotel.an drives
on 80 j. island. There Is charge Of
ie dollar for going on Go it sand.
The drive is a five one. Being completely I.
at III with trees, it is shaday and cool. In "
e distance one catches gliInpses Of water.
Returning 10 the hotel, after q drive of five
'urs ! dismissed the carriage, and then
alksd cut OH the hack porch, and, for the
st time, got a view ofthe falls. :
The next q = | went uader the falls. For I
ing under the falls, you pay somebody two
'oiugundsr hefailse an be arrargs athome
people who are not rnlliionares,s md who
mot afford to visit Niagara. To arrange
at home, a person should array himself in
suit Of oil-cioth. This done let
hare q servant screw a hose on q fire.
.g ard ihen lay the stream full in his
e. iaetthis be continued FOR full ten min Z
as. after sLich,L should, TO keep up the J
3 imitation of Niagara, pay the servant
e dollars, and then % doctoring
nself for the catarrh, a tremendous cold.
d a severe rheumatism.
From what ! saw OF the falls, | shcrSi say
tthey are fine md rather wet.
who cannot afford 10 visit Niagara
i get up substituted at home, which win diff
in nc essential particular from Niagara
Elf. 4
The bes. substitute TINT occurs to IN. /.
y man to put all lis capital IL bank,
i ihen gel 2 run on il. As he. sees the last
liar q. Las fortune being ,,sid ont. be viii
! as one docs mlo is nj Niagra.
excellent substitute, and a clear III
c is for a man 70 put al his money IN bis
cket, and then allow hinselfto he groitei
he fees an arm COMPRISING his neck, m
I a rand going throt gh'i his pockets, he =
feel pretty much rs one does a. Niagara =,
ri