davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
MUFFLING THE THROAT.

What Is the best mode Of protecting the
throat from colds where a person L very
susceptible to them?
The common way of protecting the throat
Is to bundle and wrap it up closely, thus
oYer-beating and rendering it tender and
sensitive, and more liable to colds and IN
fammations than before. This practice Is
all wrong and results in much evil. Espe-
ciaIly is this the case with children, and
when, in addition to the mufling of the
throat, the exremities are insufBcientiy clad,
as Is often the case. the best. possible eondi-
tons are presented for the production of
sore threats, coughs, groups, and all kinds
of threat and lung affections. 1t Is utterly
impossible to entirely exclude cold air from
the neck, and if IT is kept overheated por-
ton of the time, when ii is exposed some
form of derantement Of the throat viii be
very apt to occur. The rule in regard to
clothing the neck should be to keep it as cool
as comfort viii allow By doing 30 you viii
suffer much less from throat ailments than if
you are always fearful Of having little cold
air come in contact with yourneck. Any one
who has been accustomed to have his throat
mufled should be careful to leave Il off
gradually, and not ali at once-Herald Of
Health.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
DOES 1T PAY TO SMOKE.

Pecuniarily considered, of course ii does
not pay to smoke. 1t costs the world an
nually Eve hundred million dollars for tebac-
co. And this connects the use of the weed
with higher considerations, for this comes
out ofthe worlds surplus fund, ont of which
comes the means Of extending civilization.
In the United States, moreover, four hun
dred thousand acres of land are exhausted by
tobacco, which should be devoted to grain
for the thousands who have needed it the
past winter.
One strong point made bY AIr. Parton Is
that tobacco is the enemy of women. Not
only because its flthiness keeps men away
from the sex and makes them seek the COM
pany Of each other to indulge the habit, but
because it destroys manhood. The point Is
simply this = Tobacco, by disturbing and
impairing vitality, tends to vitiate the rela-
tions between the sexes, tends to lessen
man interest in woman and his enjoyment
of her society and enables him to endure
and be contented With, and finally even to
prefer the companionship Of men. Put that
thought into your pipe and smoke it
Among the great men of our country who
did not smoke, were Washington Franklin
and jefferson. Washington Irving was not
a smoker, though nobody ever drew such de
lightful pictures of lusty Won Twillers en-
veloped in clouds of tobacco smoke. Goethe
never smoked, nor could he have smoked
and remained Goethe. The man SO perfect
in BODY. 50 lofty and splendid in intellect,
and so grand in character could not have
been a smoker.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
LAWYERS.

Two doctors in the law came to Luther
at Wittenberg, whom he received and sala-
ted in this manner: 20 ye canonistsl |
could well endure you, if We meddled only
with imperial, and not with Popish laws.
But ye maintain the Pope and his canons.
| would give one Of my hands on condition
all Papists and canonists we're compelled to
keep the Pope's laws and decrees; I would
wish them no worse a devil
The bishop Of Mayence cannot boast,
that with good conscience he has three
bishoprics; but ye maintain it to be lawful
and right Ye doctors who meddle with
Popish laws are nothing; therefore, doc
tor in the Popish laws Is nothing; he is
chimers, monster, fable, nothing. A
doctor il the imperial laws is half lame, be
has had a stroke on the one side: the Pope :
laws and DEGREES altogether stink Of ambi-
ton, Of pride, of selfproft, covetousness,
superstition, idolatfy, tyranny, aad such
ike blasphemies.
''Ye that are studying under lawyers, fol-
low not your precep eptors in abuses or wrong
cases, as if man could not be . lawyer un-
less be practised such evil God has not
given laws to make out of right wrong, and
out Of wrong right, as the unchristian-like
lawyers do who study law only for the sake
Of gain and profit.
Every lawyer is sorely Texed at me be-
cause I preach 50 harshly against the craft;
but | say, I, as preacher, must repro7e
what is wrong and evil. IfITeproved them
as Martin Luther, they need not regard me,
but forasmueh as l do it as a servant Of
Christ, and speak By Gods command, they
ought 10 hearken unto me; for if they repent
not, they shall eyerlastingly be damned; but
|, when have declared their sins, shall be
excused. fl were not constrained TO give
an account for their souls, would leave
them unreproyed '-Lather's Tale Talk
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
nAxIMs ZOE YOUNG LADIEs.


Don't scream unless you arc frightened.
4 narTowness Of waist shows par-
roBuess Of mind.
Its fine silk that knows no turning.
Practice Ion the piano. makes perfect.
An old maid is an odd boOt-no use with
out fellow
The true test Of q mans temper Is TO
keep him waiting ten minutes for his
dinner
Never faint when you are alone Always
select some good opportunity young
man. The more persons there are about
you, the msre- successful win beyour fit. A
woman should not only faint well, but be
above suspicion.
The hand that can make a pie Is
continual feast 10 the husband that marries
it.
Dreams ara the novels that we read when
We are fast asleep.
Eyesare theelectric telegraph ofthe heart.
and viii send message any distance, in a
language only known to the two souls who
correspond
Sleight Of hand performance-the girl
that rejects an offer ofmarriage.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
WHAT WILL YOT SAY TaENs

While Hopu, young Sandwich Islander,
was in America, he spent an evening in a
company where an infdel lawyer tried to
puzzle him with difficult questions. At
length the native said:
II am a poor heathen boy. Ii Is not
strange that my hunders in English should
amuse you. But soon there viii be larger
meeting than this. We shall all be there.
They will ask rs all one question, namely:
DO you love the Lord Jesus Christi Now,
sir, think 7 can say yes. What win you
say, sir?
When he had stopped, all present were
silent At length the lawyer said that, as
the evening was far gone, theg had better
conclude it with prayer. and proposed that
the native should pray. He did 50: and as
he poured out his heart to Sod, the lawyer
could not conceal his feelings Tears start
ed from his eyes, and he sobbed aloud All
present Wept too; and when they separated,
the words, What viii you say sir2'' fol-
lowed the lawyer home, and did not leave
him till he was brought to our Saviour.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

Ohio or Iowa. This is propitious augury
for New York
Letters from the Pacific coast promise
the electora. vote Of Oregon and California
for Grant and Colfax. We have never
doubted that fraudulent voting defeated the
state ticket in June, a. there was an in
creased Tote principally ia the counties and
towns next to the territory Of Idaho. Cali
foFnia was lost last year By divisions in the
Republican party, which have been adius.
ted, and the Republicans promise to Grant
majority Of twenty-five thousand.
In Louisiana it is said that the majority
will be 10000 Ii is hardly the way to
carry The state to do tail boasting, and
we shall leave it to our political adversaries
But the outlook is infinitely more promis-
ing than it was at this time in 1864. Ii did
seem then as if Mr.. Lincoln could be defea-
ted if the democrats would nominate a man
for that purpose; but madness ruled their
counsels, and they received but the insig
nifcant vote Of three states. 4 similar in
fatuation has adhered 10 them in 1865, and
they are only sure of three states now. The
rest IS all Dragging. The Republicans can
carry New York, New jersey, Connecticut
Delaware and Oregon, if they will.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
ANTICIPATED REPUBLICAN GAINS.

Mr.. George Wilkes has published his
viewsof The Philosophy the Campaign,
! in which be expresses the opinion that the
victory Of General Grant will be so signal
that it may be hkened 20 a march rather
than contest, aud viii hardly wear the look
Of an election at all "We also believe. .,
be says, that Grant viii carry the state Of
New York, aud that John A. Griswold.
who Is now nominated on the Grant ticket
for its Governor, viii defeat ang candidate
who may be set up against him
As the democratic vote last year was
three hundred and seventy three thousand.
which is more than three thousand above
the highest Republican vote ever cast in
this state: and as the highest vote Of both
parties is cast when there is a Presidential
election, we are not SO confident Of a large
majority. But the democratic vote in this
city last year included several thousand resi-
dents Of other states brought hither to deter
mine whether O'Brien or ConDelly should
be sheriff; the German Republican Central
Committee took no part 10 the election. or
aided the democrats, on account Of disafFec
ton created By the Excise law; and there
were Republicans who voted the democratic
ticket, just to administer rebuke to their
political associates.
This fall the Pennsylvania voters viii be
wanted at home; and the disappointed Re-
publicans will vote for Grant and Griswold
Besides, there are many changes in the
state for Grant and against Seymour, but
we hear Of none the other way The Re.
publicans Of this city have not been more
united in feeling for ten years Mr.. Girls
void Is strong and unexceptionable eandi-
date, and is generally worth several thou
sand votes on his personal popularity These
considerations give US strong hope of his
election by handsome majority.
If Pennsylvania gives as full vote as
she did in ls66, and the states Of Ohio and
Indiana come in well at the October elec-
tons, there win be little motive for the
democrats Of this state to work. as the nj
most 10 be accomplished would be to place
its destiuies at the feet Of Tammany Hall.
The best judges predict a majority of 20,
900 in Indiana for Governor Baker. and a
much larger one In Pennsylvania for Gen.
Hartranft. Nobody entertains doubt Of
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
VOL. Al: NO. 81
SURROUNDINGS OF THE THEATRE

We have seen With our own eyes once
quiet and orderly portion Of a great city
thoEOughfare 20 changed in character by the
opening Of theatre there as tomake it any
thing but pleasant, if not often actually
unsafe, for woman to pass the SPOT after
uightfail without protector. With what sin
gular constaney the GIN palace, the gambling
he'll and the house Of the lost woman make
their appearance in lis viciHityl How comes
il that these means and appliances Of dissipa-
ton and vice SO constantly spring up in the
place whittier theatre g0sFs resort? Why do
these breathing holes Of perGition open their
devouring mouths around the theatre as
naturally a. ashes gather about the crater Of
. voleano2 DR.. Bellows admits that ''the
immortality and recklessness Of society, its
folly and vice, have clustered around the
theatre. I" Now Why this, if not because
birds Of feather Aock together2" As
long as the theatre attracts such . oompan-
ionship, no sophistries Of special pleading
viii persuade thinking minds thatthe source
Of attraction is other than the sympathy
that naturally springs up between similari-
ties of taste and character.
Cfthe French Revolution the celebrated
Edmund Burke writes: while courts Of
justice were thrust out By Jacobin tribunals,
and silent churches were only funereal mon
uments of departed religion when Paris
was ike den Of outlaws leEd tavern
for revel and debaucheries there we're in
that city "no fewer than flCeity eight thea
tres crowded every night From debau-
cherry, blasphemy and butchery in the day
time to the theatre at night-from the the
atre at night back to butehery, blasphemy
aud debauehery in the daytime! What is
there in the theatre that can adapt itself to
tastes and passions so beastly? Are schools
Of virtue, are our churches so facile, plastic
and pliant?-Rer. ". p Bred, D. D.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
AN EASY PLACE.
A man appealed to Henry Ward Beectcr
as follows:

A man appealed to Henry Ward Beeeler
as follows:
LANCASTER, Feb. 9Th. 1867.
Rev, Henry Warch Beecher. Sir /
hardly know how to address so great man.
on said in sermon, some time ago. that
honesty ought to be rewarded. am hon
est with my fellow-nan, myself. and nv
God. Can get FeS concentrations THE best,
from lawyers, doctors preachers, etc. Get
me an easy lsie1 situation, that honesty may
be rewarded C. e."
We give an extract from Mr.. Beecher' $
reply:
Surely man as honest az you are has
been rewarded already. What honest with
your felIow-men, yourself and your God |
There are few men who can say as much.
Honest with your fellow-menl How long
has it been 50? Have you come to it grad
ually, as the winter apple ripens, or has it
always been 50? Excuse these questions,
am deeply interested You belong to an
exceedingly small class. You have few fel.
Indeed when pou say that you are honest
with yourself, / cannot keep you company.
You are ahead Of me; and that clause
honest with your God takes you entirely
out Of my sight. Why do you come to me2
ought to sit at your feet. You are my
master
No doubt you can get recommendations
from lawyers, doctors, preachers, etc. You
place these gentlemen. doubtless, in a climax.
Lawyers are proverhiany honest-doctors
never deceive-preachers always practice
what they preach Recommendations from
any Of these would smack of seIf-laudation
Every man praises his own virtues. Get
some one not 50 inevitably good to recon-
mend you. Are there no editors, no mem
bers of Congress, in your neighborhood?
But | am now come TO the most impor-
tsnt part Of your letter. Get me an easy
situation, that honesty may be rewarded
I am ready to do all in my power for you
Had you signifed the sort Of easy place you
would prefer | should have been less per-
picked Let me see.
You are a born President All parties
are looking out for you They want a man
honest to his feIlow-men, to himself, and to
his God. What a motto is that to run a
race with Thus far they seem not to have
found Just the man. If | were to diyulge
your name no doubt you would be rayished
away to Washington IN spite fyour screams
And the only reason why | do not disclose
your whereabouts is that fear the Presi-
dency would not prove that easy place
which you justly think is due to your hon
esty
Don't be an editor If you would be easy. :"
Do not Try the law. Avoid school-keeping
Keep out Of the pulpit. Let alone all the
ships, stores, shops and merchandise. Alb
hor politics Keep away from lawyers.
Don't practice medicine. Be not farmer
or mechanic; neither a soldier or sailor.
Don't think. Don't work None of them
are easy o my honest friend you are in
a very hard world | know Of but one real
easy place in it. That place is in the grave.
How is it in lancaster Can they not serve
you there? Even graves are very dear. Try
and get suited at home.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

THE PULPIT AND DIVORCE The Bio
eesan Convention of the Episcopal Church
in Connecticut have petitioned the LegisIa-
tuTe, now in session, TO make such reYis-
ion Of the existing law of divorce as shall
remove the reproach under which the fair
fame Of the State now suffers, and shall Sc
enre for the marriage tie all the sanctions
with which the civil law can invest it, and
which, in view of the paramount obligations
of the divine law, it seems to be the clear
duty of Christian State 10 proride
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

TARGETS AND MARKssIEN. 1t has been
found, While firing at the running-man tar
get at Wimbledon, which il scarlet on ono
side and grey on the other, that the scarlet
dazzles the eye, and ID hence the most diff
cult to hit, from leaving red streak behind
it. in its advance, which unsettles the aim
The grey side was struck "a times, and the
red only 42 times. II is a curious fact, 100,
il seems, that those with grey eyes hit fairer
than those with eyes of the other color.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
IT JOIN c. SAKE


When deeply in love with Miss Emily Cline
vowed if the maiden would only be mine,
would always endeavor to please her
She blashed her consent though the suffering
lass
Said never word. except You're an ass
An ass-an ass-iduoas teaser!"
But when we were married found to my ruth
The stammeTing lady had spoken the truth;
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
Shed say-if rentured to give her jog
In the way Of reproof-"YOu'r dog-yOu're a
dog
A dog-a dog-matic eurmudgeon!"
Aad once, when said, I'VE can hardly afford
This extravagant style with our moderate hoard, %
AID limited Ee ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
Aud fretfully cried. 'sYou're a ju-you're ju--
a very ju-diei-4s advissr!7
Again, when it happened that. wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
begged her TO 60 to a neigbbor,
She wanted to Know why made such a fuss,
And saueily said, "You're eus--euz-cus-
Yen were always Accustomed to Iabor.7
Out Of temper, at last, with the insolent dame,
and feeling that madam was greatly to blame
To seold me instead Of earessfng,
rniHieked her speeeh-hke ehurl as an
And angriiy said, You're dam-dam-dam-
a damage instead Of blessing
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

FOOTPRINTS OF THE GREAT.-Few foot
prints of the great remain in the sand before
the ever flowing tide. Long ago it washed
out Homer's. Curiosity follows him in vain.
Greece and Asia perplex US with : rival
Stratford- upon-Avon The rank of Ar
istophanes is only eopiectured from his gift
to two poor players in Athens. The age
made no sign when Shakespeare, its nohlest
son. passed away. His birth, marriage,
authorship, and his retirement compose
his biography. OF every country and
season the complaint is felt and uttered.
Precious would be the journal By Floren-
tine de Foe, or the indoor occupations of
Dante. Think of beholdiDg, as in a glass,
MacchiayeIli living along the lines of his
political web; Calico watching the moon
plough her way across the clouds; or Tasso,
with Polybius in his land, marshalling the
knights of Godfrey = HiLuaoft's Pleasures
Of Literature.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

SHALL rHE PAST BE FORGoTTEN9

SHALL THE PAST BE FORGOTTEN
A RESPONSE TO THE coPPERHEAB LEADERS WHO
SAT- "LET BT-coSEs BIZ BT-aosEs.
AIa-"TAe S,ssra Of BHaker Hi1t.a
N0s never while a tombstone stands
Above soldiers grave,
Can we forget your treason TO
The land he died to save.
These speaking monuments Of death
That tell the hero's fame,
VIII tell to millions yet unborn
The story Of your shame
And pillars broad that rise on high,
Like Bunker HHFs great shaft,
To every cline beneath the skies
Your trearhery shall waft.
Our glorious flag, unfurled aloft,
In ev'ry port and sea,
Will bear upon its waving stripes
Your damning iniamy.
And nations Ger the whole wide world,
Sball hear year craven cry,
When freemen rushed their rights to save,
Or, fa- .ng, nobly die.
No, ne; the past Is ali secure,
And each returning year
WIN make your treason viler still,
And liberty more dear.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

SUMNER DRINKs-The best summer
beverage is cold water, iee-coId If you will;
but By all means grasp the glass by the hand
take swallow at time remove the glass
from the lips fer few seconds, then take
another swallow; in this way it viii be found
that the thirst will Be thoroughly satiated
before half the water has been taken;
whereas, if it had been swallowed contin-
uonsIy, the whole contents would not have
satisfied the thirst.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
SUBSCRIPTION TERMS. &C,

NrwsrAprR LAws-We would call the special
stteDtfor OF Post Masters aua subscribers to the
TxoUIRKs 70 the following synopsis Of the News
paper laws:
4 Postmaster is required 10 give notice bg
letfsr treturning paper does not answer the law
when a subscriber does net take his paper ont Of
the Office, and state the reasons tor its not being
taken; and a negiect to do 90 makes the Possmss-
ter regseHsi5Es 70 the publishers for the payment
. ARy person who takes paper from the Post
afee, whether directed 70 his name or another. o.
whether he has subscribed or not is responsible
f0s the pay.
8. II a person orders his paper discontinued, he
must pay all aTrcaFagcs, or the publisher may
continue to send il until payment is made, and
collect the whole amount 1Aefher q Be taken frea
tEs 9f5ee or not. There can be no legal discontin-
ueuce until the payment is made.
Z. II the subscriber orders his paper to be
stopped at q certain time, and the publisher con
inaes to send, the subscriber i bound to psy for
Il Il he takes Il oat n tAe Posf 0Fsoe The Law
proceeds upon the ground that man must pay
for What he uses.
g. The courts have decided that refusing 70 take
usrspapers and periodicals from the Post ofice,
u removing and having them unealled for is
5r.aa facia evidence Of Intentional fraud.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

PARIsH DocroR-EeH, nurse, how 60 the
patieutsg Nurse-0h pretty well, SIR there's
eleven dead Parish Doctor Eleven Only
eleven? Wby, I left medicine for twelve
Nurse-Yes, sir, know; bat one was 80
refractory be wouldn't take hisn
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

All Adversisenenas for lees than menths 10
cents per line for each insertion. Special netices
one-half additional All resolutions OF Assesia-
tians communications Of limited or sHdsFidal
interest and notices ~ marriages and deaths ex-
eaeding ire Uses, TO ets per Line. All legal nofi-
ess Of every kind, and All 9rphanS couzt and
other Judicial sales arc required By Law 20 he pub
hnhed in both paparg. Editorial Notices l5 cents
per line All Advertising due after drst insertion
liberal discount ERade "a yearly advertisers
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

Who becomes every day more sagaeious
in Observing his own faults, and the perfec-
tions of another, without either enyying
him, or dezpairing Of himself. j. ready to
mount the ladder on which angels ascend
and descend.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

WERr It not for the scorching drought
ne should not appreciate the refreshing
showsr. with less eonfict4 we would hare
- v;ctor;;es. with less trial, less jos.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

DIR, HOLMES. Of Boston having been cali
ed upon and considerably bored BY agentle-
man who had devoted himself to leeturing
in England without much ability for doing
SO, inquired, What are you about at this
particular time?'' The answer was, Lee
turing, a. usual. hold forth this evening
at Roxbury. The Professor, clapping BIZ
hands together exclaimed, / am glad Of it.
/ never liked those Roxbury people
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-08-21

1T l. immortality that makes life deslra-
bic blessing; without this it would be but an
nnproftable and burdensome trife, preserv-
Cd with anxiety and quilted with terror,
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1868-12-07
ShltfCrbrNNhNna. pahltlifflr.

wl. can't. slr E3e. sStl prafts,
Gde,,' pt1HCltt.
vic z6trFrrt4Gr rretsn'rn t's--92i
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1868-12-07
3eid)ncnjd)ale.

sm I. Ottbr. atsnes llbr erSTneie PREF. Gads In
Raapp's Snhtlt w,epet bic beihnenibule tur 8uabea
unb wire esie.te ndorenp ees QDnereneters wpdent.
priseiest. aue Sranden hes 8eidblenunsrrttts wer.
Sen ipfsmatifb uue sriinsItt unesrGtet. &nmsl6un.
geH bitet man bolpiai ~ MAIDEN t23I-i