The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-01-09
MARK TWain's Uncle nj 1t.
Thomas.

about such islands, If any, as the Govern
ment Is going to purchase? 1t is an uncle
OF mine that wants to know. He is an in
dustr1ous man, and well disposed, and
wants to make q living in an honest, hum
Die way, but more especially he wants to
be quiet. He wishes to settle down and
De quiet and unostentatious. He has been to
the new island-St. Thomas-but he says
he thinks things are unsettled there. He
went there, early. with an attache of the
State department., who was sent down
with money TO pay for the island. My un-
Gle had his money in the same box, and SO
when they went ashore, getting receipt,
the sailors broke open the box and took all
the money, not making any distinction
between Government money, which was
legitimate money to be stolen, and nv
uncle'e, which was his own private prop
erty, and should have been respected.
But ne came home and got some more and
went back. And then he took the fever
There are seven kinds of fever down there,
you know, and as his blood was out of
order by reason of loss of sleep and gen.
eral wear and tear of mind, he failed to
cure the first fever, and then somehow he
got the other six. He is not kind of
man that enjoys fevers, though he is we'll
meaning and always does what he thinks
Is right, and SO he was good deal annoyed
when it appeared that he was going to die
But he worried through and got well and
started farm. He fenced It in, and the
next day that great storm came and washed
the most of it over to Gibraltar, or around
there somewhere. He only said, in his
patient way, that it was gone, and he
wouldn't bother about trying to find out
where 1t went to, though it was his opinion
1T went to Gibraltar Then he invested in
a mountain and, started farm up there,
to be out of the way wheel the sea came
ashore again. 1t was a good mountain
and good farm-but it WASH any use-an
earthquake came the next night and shook
1t all down. Itwas all fragments, you know,
and SO mixed up with another mans
property that he could not tell which were
his fragments without going to law, and
he would not do that, because his main
object In going to st. Thomas was to be
quiet. All that he wanted was to settle
down and be quiet. He thought it all
over, and finally he concluded to try the
low ground again, especially as he wanted
to start a brick yard this time He bought
q f1at and put out ten thousand brick TO
dry, preparatory to baking them Blu,
luck appeared to be against him. A vol
cano showed itself through there that night,
and elevated his brickyard about two
thousand feet in the air. 1t irritated him
good deal. He has been up there and
he says the bricks are all baked right
enough, but he can't get them down. At
first he thought may be the Government
would get them down for him, because if
the Government bought the island it ought
to protect the property where man has
invested In good faith but all he wants is
quiet, and 30 he is not going to apply for
the subsidy he was thinking about. He
went back there last week in couple of
ships of war to prospect around the coast
for safe place for farm, where he could
be quiet; bat another earthquake came
and hoisted both of the ships out into one
of the interior counties, and he came near
losing his life. So he has given up pros
pecting in ship, and is discouraged |
Well, now he don't know what to do. He |
has tried Walrussia but the bears kept |
after him so much, and kept him so on the |
jump, as it were, that he had to leave the |
country. He could not be quiet there, |
with those bears prancing after him all the |
time. That is how he came to 60 to the |
new island we have bought-St. Thomas. |
But he is getting to think ST. Thomas is |
not quiet enough for man of his turn of |
mind, and that is why he wishes me to |
find out if the Government is likely to |
buy some mora islands shortly. He has |
heard that the Government is thinking !
about buying Porto Rico. If that is true |
he wishes to try Porto Rico, If it is quiet |
place. How is Porto Rico for his style of |
q man? Do you think the Government |
will buy itp