The New Orleans crescent., 1868-03-01

rHE wREs

The rem IL the smallest thing surrounded with
feathers, except The humming bird
He liz about the size ov horse chestnut.
He liz ov dark brown color, and bids hiz nest
in not holes, out ov little bits ov stix.
He IL az gritty az mud pie, and will fight hen
farkey.
Rens are little pirates have seen them drive a
blubrd out ov biz house, and sett up bizzness on
hiz stock in trade.
They lay an egg about the size ov a marrow fat
p, and hatch out at least half dozen children at .
setting.
A young rem iz the funniest little package
ever see done mp; they amt much bigger and
look very mutch like a small l-sized semic0lon.
Rens are long-lived. but if they should live tew
be az old az Methuseler, they wouldn't be az bigg
az butter mutt.
They y on the bug and worm family. andIspend
They are net profitable to eat would as soon
dress bumbel bee. and one rem pot-pie would use
up the whole breed.
THE CROW.
Next to the monkey, the crow has the most
deviltry TO spare. They are born very wild, but
kan be tanned az easy az the goat kan, but q tame
crow is aktually wuss than a sore thumb.
If thare IL emmy thing about the house that they
kant git into, II IL because the thing amt big
enuf. had rather watch dstrkt skool than
one tame crow. Crows live on what they kan
steal, and they viii steal emmy thing that amt tied
down.
Tney are fond of meat yittles, and are the first
morse. a
still sheep. They are fine bird tew hunt, but
bard one to kill; they kan see you miles first,
and will smell gun right through the side ov q
mountain.
They are not songstrs. altho they hav q good
voice 10 cultivate, but what they do sing. they
seem to understand thoroughly; long praktiss has
made them perfekt.
The crow liz tuif bird, and kan stand the heat
like blacksmith, and the cold like a stun wall.
They bid their nest among q tree, and lay
twice, and both eggs would ha 'ch out, il they
waz laid in snow baDk-thare amt no such thing
az stopping young crow.
Crows are very lengthy, belesve they live al
ways. never knu one to die a natral deth, and
don't belieave they kno how.
They are alwus thin in flesh, and are like an In
Jun rubber shew, poor inside and out.
They are not considered fine eating, atho hav
read somewhere ov billed crow, but still | never
heard ov the same man hankering for sum billed
crow times.
This essa on the crow is copied from natur,
and If i IL true, amt tew blame for il. nstur
made the crow, didn't, If had would hav made
her more honest and not quite tuf.
HENS,
leads me tew remark, in the fust place. that thus
far, they are a suckcess.
They are domestick, and occasionally are tuff.
This IL owing tew their not being billed often
enufi in their younger daze; bat the hen amt
tew blame for this.
Billed hen liz universally respekted.
Thare IL CRATE deal ov originality tew in the
hen-exacty how much | kant tell, historians
fight so much about il. Sum say Knower had
hens with him in the ark and sum say he didn't.
So il goes, which and further.
/ kant tell you which waz born fust, the hen or
the egg; sumtimes think the egg waz-and sum-
times think don't kno, and kant tell now,
which IL night, for the life ov me.
Laying eggs is the hens best grip.
A hen that kant lay eggs-iz laid out.
One egg IL considered fair days work for
ben. hav herd ov their doing better, but don't
vhant aeben ov mine tew do tit IL apt tew
hurt their constitution and bylaws, and thus i'm
pare their futer worth.
The poet sez, butifully:
"sumbcddy haz stole orr old blew hen,
lwish tfey'd let her bee,
She uzed 70 lay eggs . day,
And sundays she layds"
This sounds trew enuff for poetry, but will bet
rs thousand dollars that it never took place.
This bet stands open till the 18th day ov next
November, at hafI-past twelve O'Clock.
THE BUMBEL BEE
iz one ov naturs sekrets.
They probably hav destiny tew ill, and are
probable necessary, If fellow only knew how.
They liv apart from the rest ov mankind, In
little circles numbering about IS or so souls.
They Hrv- b~s- oA50ut uayrng Iime, aHu dh
fereDt from emmy bug | know ov they are the
biggest when they are fust born. They resembel
sum men in this respekt.
Their principle Dizziness IL making poor honey,
but they don't make emmy to cell.
Boys sumtimes rob them out ov q whole sum-
mer's work but thar IL one thing about bum
bel bee that boys alwus watch dredful Gloss,
and that IL their helm.
bad rather not have awl the bumbel bee
honey 'thare IL between here and the city ov
Jerusalem, than tew hav a bumbel bee hit me
with biz helm when be Gums round suddin.
They are different from other war vessels the
helm alwus minds the bumbel bee. e.