The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1868-04-16
RULES FOR COUNTING
by JOnQ gull.

Having had much experience in the
science of Counting, have determined
herewith 10 lay down some definite rules
for the guidance of my young friends
You see ] had good many unsuccessful
courts before I met my wire-thc females
whom | loved having gone emphaticalIy
back on me. But, bless you, did it harm
me? No, it didn't, | was benefited there.
BY, and when met my vile knew the
ropes, and gathered up my affections,
made one fell swoop on her heart. and
the door thereof banged wide open and
let mo in. | will give you the rules and
shed the sunny light Of illustration upon
them from my own life.
lat. Never 80 counting the girls pa
rents. You'd better edge up to charmcr
at once; for you can't marry her II you
don't try, unless she wants you, and you
may be able to, even if the old folks are
hard on you.
ed. By all means get the girls ma
dowu on you as much Os possible. If
the old lady is always blowing against
you, the little dear begins to take your
part, and cant help loving you.
l did this way, and my present moth
in law used 10 throw broomS aud
washboards al me- and teach the dog to
bile mo in the trOwsers as | climbed
over the fence
Sd. II you SEQ any other proving a
bout, always euchre them it you can, If
one Of them buy tickets for q concert,
go up aud make an engagement with her
and get your tiskels afterwards, but
when they visit the house always act as
il you were AT home, and they were only
visitors. and never leave first,
Alb. II the old man has his worldly
wealth, express dsI Ike to grcenbacks,
aud hankoriug after love in small
5lh. II you are long in the parlor,
you may sometimes try if your arms fit
well on her waist.
i tried this once, and called forth a
piercing scream, which induced her big
pap and two brothers to chuck me down
tho stairs. So you oe careful.
9th. When you inquire if she will
have you, don't fall on your knees. 1t
is ridiculous, bcsiles being rough on
lroBers. Just take her hand and speak
on like man.
behaved similarly to this to a fe'
male aud said to her:
,WlI vnn be mina9'
Not much, won'tP
LIS likely she WAS a litle timil, but !
did not care about pursuing the subject
any further.
9Th. When you arc engaged, dOn'Igo
CT like an old fool and begin buying
teaspoons and washboilers, and candles.
II is very unwise, and excites comment.
9Th fla girl refuses you, don't give
1t up, but try again Because two neg
aiives make one affirmative in grammar,
don't consider yourself accepted when a
girl jills you twice.
asked one female fortyono times,
and a! last she got to expect ii Whenever
came, and would sometimes holIer out
'NO, iTOu tHt 1up VI '"o e'u'Si OS'O'S
got fatrlY into the house.
9th. Kiss oil the children in the
house, even if they are dirty, and smear
molasses candy in your hair. Lot the
boy play horse with you and make
fool of you generally. This always
works, lis trump card it you play it
right.
10th. And, finally, il thore are two
sisters, and the old one is jealous, get
some ono to choke her of. while you go
in for the younger.
| did that once, and used 10 got
friend 10 ask the soniur out for the even
ing, but she found me out, and used to
arrange her hairpius in the sofa cushiods
before she went out, so that 1t was ex-
trsmely uncomfortable.
Thus it will be seen that when court
ship is alluded 10. am right there. If
any further Information 10 wanted, send
me letter enclosing City cents, and |
will chesrfuly give it.
--s 0