The Portland daily press., 1868-06-27
selected story.
IN WOMAN'S CLOTHES.
HOW ONE MAN FOUND A WIFE,

ed very pretty boy; and in early day IS, when
we were all children, you used to saw that I
ought to have been girl. When | was about
twenty-one years DID, was stayipo one long
vacation with some friends of mine in the
10th regiment then quartered in Ireland
In the regiment, there was a certain Captain
Dundee, who was rather heavy, stupid tel
low, though pretty good officer, and who
prided himself upon being very sharp. He
used to boast that nobody could lake him in,
and that he would recognize person in any
conceivable disguise. | was very intimate
with Captain Dundee, and so lar from think
ing him very sharp, used to abuse him tor
his st1"idt,, and was always chatting him on
the subject.
One evening at mess, when Captain Dun
dee was not present. bets were made that l
could not pass an evening in his company
dressed as lady without his DISCO ering the
trick L betted that could do so. Many
ofhcers took my side, and at last it ended in
very heavy bets indeed being made, not nv
me, but, what was worse, by my friends, Tor
felt that their losing or gaining almost a for
tune depended ent rely on me. AS the day
drew near, these bets were doubled. quite
trembled for The result. | may mention that,
though did not know it, almost all these
bets were hctitlous, and only proclaimed for
the sake OF keeping me up to the mark. In
tact, those concerned thoughtlessy wanted 10
have jolly lark, and were afraid my back
ing out. As it was, felt that about fifteen
thousand pounds in bers depended on my get
ting through the evening safely IN my assun-
ed character as young lady.
Captain Dundee had married Young.
larky, care-rOr nothing, stick at-nothing Irish
girl. do not at all mean to say that she
was really bad; but from thoughtlessness
from not over-refned nature, and from very
exuberant, Uncontrolled spirits, she would
rush INTO scrape, little thinking or caring
about the consequences, or how she should
get out OF it successfully. The bet was that
the first evening Mr.. Fenw ok could Get an
invitation for hlmselfand an imaginary niece,
Miss Fenwick, to dine with the Dundees,
was to personate, cor attempt to personate
the neice; and the said bet, moreover, was to
the effect that L should successfully deceive
Captain Dundee till such time as the party
separated, however late the hour might be.
Without my knowledge, Mrs. Dundee was
let INTO the secret; hence all my trouble. She,
in her wild Irish way, quite entered into the
joke, and aY once determined to make con-
fusion worse contoundej.
Very soon note came, stating that Can
tain and Mrs. Dundee requested the pleasure
o. Mr.. and Miss FenwIck to dinner in a Quiet
way on the 10Th instant. only one or two
brother officers We're coming. The fatal day
arrived. Remember, | thought that tbou
Dundee was as ignorant as her husband OF
my intended appearance Imagine me with
proiusion oil false black curs a flower or
two stuck here and there; no end of lady's
jewelry-rings, earrings, brooch, &C.; thin
muslin dress, with high body my face skill
fully painted. In fact, was altogether very
Well made up by tiIst-rate hand sent for
from Dublin. Partly to keep up my cour.
age and get me up to the mark, and partly
because l knew that in my assumed cbarac-
ter must not drink much VINE, imbibed
considerable quantity before l started
Moreover, in secret pocket, L concealed
small flask OF brandy, with which hoped to
be able to keep up my spirits on the sly.
At table played my part well. l talked
and hirted, Chartered about dancing and SO
forth, and protested was mad about balls
Poor wretch that was, wish had held
my tongue; l was unwittinsly rushing to de-
structlon. l drank as much champagne as
dared in my new character, and thought ey-
erythiDg was going all light, and that nv
friends We're quite sure to win their money.
Scarcely had the cloth been removed, when
Mrs. Dundee said:
Il have pleasing surprise for you all, good
people. few days ago, received an invi-
tation from Sir George and Lady Clonmell to
ball at their house this evening" with per-
mission to bring any of my friends. Sir
George lives twelve miles of. Dundee has
secured the large omnibus from the inn. and
ordered four horses, and we are to start at
nine O'Clock. We can all go together; we
shall have jolly evening, and am delighted
to think that you will be able to enjoy YOUR
self Mis- Fenwick."
Good gracious! how my heart sank with |
in me. My bet held good till the time we all |
separated. My friends must lose their BET. |
could never get through ball, knew. / |
SAID my dress was high and would not do for |
a ball.
@My maid" said Mrs Dundee, "shall dress
yon in one OF my evening dresses"
mo, that she shant," | almost shrieked |
out; "IfI must go, will go just as l am. i
am SO delicate that tie doctors will not allow |
me to wear low dress" |
perhaps, dear, you would like her to dress |
your hair differently ; she is very clever; or |
to put another wreath on your head?'
- no; thank you," SAID / /; and most Bit |
tery did lnwardly abuse my luck but al |
most easped: 1T you have a spare room
where could wash my hands, and lust nut |
my hair straight for myself, should be very
much obliged"
was shown into a room. and sat down
the very picture, l am sure, of DESPAIR. n
now began to flash across me, too, that what
was, to say the least, not over-credItable
joke among few arky brother officers.
would he very dishonoraole it practised on
society at large; that it would be very wrong
Of me to go TO a ball at Sir GEORGES disguIs2
ed as young lady; that | might get into
some awkward scene; that / might be the
means OF unintentionally causing pain
and shame 10 some ladies. Oh dear!
l was doubling whether | should be taken
suddenly i'll, and have myself conveyed home.
or whether | should send for Mrs. Dundee
and make clean breast OF it; little think
ing that all the time the wretch knew nv
fix But then my friends would lose fifteen
thousand pounds. o horrible lust at that
moment my hand unluekily touched the pock-
ct in which was my flask; to pull it out
and drain it was only the work OF a moment
or two. My courase returned at once: nv
spirits rose only too rapidly; | would 90
through with it, would win. My scrupies
vanished into thin air-I forgot them. l
was not drunk but terribly excited.
Soon the lady's-maid entered with hot wa
ter, brushes, &c. / remember [ felt very
much inclined to chuck her under the chin
ana ask her to Set me some mole brandy on
the sly. The mere thought, however, stead
led me at once as it struck me how nearly
had made mess OF the whole matter. l
sat down before the glass, touched I'D nv
hair. somewhat composed my flushed face.
shook out out my skirts, rinsed my mouth with
eau de cologne, to remove the smell OF bran
dy, and put scent on new lace pocket hand
kerchlef had borrowed from Mrs. Dundee.
had often acted lady's part in private the
atricals, and was toleraby au fait in nv work
When descended to the drawng-room. Mrs
Dundee looked me over. Oh how I sbud
dered when she touched one of nv curIs
and wished to put it quite straight Know
ing as she did my assumed character. She
must have been nightly amused at the wav
IN which said: 20, please DON'T | hate ali
finishing touches OF every kind"
In due course of time the tour-holse Inns
came round and we drove to Sir Georoe
Clonmelfs. My spirits had again sunk To
zero; leared should moi be able to keen
up my character, and iEstinctivey felt that 1
was doing wrong. those horrible bets,
There were several OF the 10th in the rom
danced with two. One was in nv secret
The other was not Any one who had over,
heard us would have been amazed aft tbe CON
Versation between my partner who was In
the secret and myself
Fred, my boy, when will supper come
10 take me to some room where / can pet | I
some bitter beer or something to drink
"Cant do it, old fellow, at any price. Won
would be found out, and 1 should lose INV
money; you must get ON as best Won can
Without drink" ~" o'n
"But am dying with thirst; L can't hold
mt Till supper-time, and my pluck is oozino
nut at my finger ends, for [ ieel | am in
ness, and am sure L shall put nv foot into
t, and be discovered, if L do not GET some
timulant 10 keep me up,' !
Can't help It, my boy; you must do your
est. tell you what you had better do
muggle your flask out OF your pocket. and
i've IL to me: will fill it with sherry. and |