The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1868-07-16
Congressional Bat Rooms.

Congressional Bat Rooms
Geo. Alfred Townsen! ~ca l. the fol-
lowing lndicsous lcsatpsina T. The
Cleveland pauser:e .~'sks.$
Some days ago 1.securcd Ticket FIR
the baths and was shown down into The
vaults Of the Capitol. A negro of buff
color was seated ona stool opposite the
batii 54ndoa.s Within, the gas l,ara.'
ed softly and low in its vase, showing
the floor of inlaid marble, the booths in
closing the baths with the dim ligh,
through their ground glass doors, and
opposite each door, upon chair cooked,
back, sat'a Congressman waiting for his
turn. After while got chance and
the negro nopened gone of the doors,
TherAiGasa hath tub against the wall,
lhewn put of one solid block of marble;
the marble floor was warmed by heaters
below, SO that it felt to y, ur bare feet al
mostnkthe Warmth of another human
skin. Allthe comfortable appurtenan@
ces of the bath We're there; the warm
towels, rough and tue, the sponees the
soap, that HAD the smell OF the date
palm, the brush to stir up the energies of
ones scalp, the mirror to abash one
with the Image Of himself, made rudy
by the pencil Of the flame from the
lnouldings Of the bronze side light.
With u ftolerably long armlcss
chelnises and o copy of CatuHus, L felt
that IshOuld have made y very good
Roman of the era Diocle.ian. The Ro-
mans, as YOU know, got out of the bath
tub and fought battles to dry off; then
they got ,oat Of the battle field into the
bath tub quickly rs possible. That
originated the phrase of"out Of the fry
ing paninto the fire. @~F&gETTr
In short time l looked like an au-
tique marble and got into my quarry at
once.s Lying there, splashing aud hold
ing my nose, many Roman visions came
backsto me. To appreciate the real Ro-
snan civilization you must get in
marble bath tub and repeat IL speech of
Cicero; 1t is worth hundred pages of
Gibbon. Ileapcd out and went through
the motions of driving chariot; then |
hurled the quot Ia nickel two cent
piece).a asa5s -....
While musing OH the bliss of serving
ones country in summer, and debat ny
us to how a turks II pipe might soothe
this too classical atmosphere, was sud
denly surprised to observe upon the
ceiling a violent agitation of shadows.
The effect was that Of a regimental drill
OF mosquitoes, the shadows swept togeth-
or made fantastic images, leaped and
shook in u manner that awakened nv in.
quisitlveness. The booths inclosing the
bath ROOMS reach their partitions only
half way to the ceiling, and it was pat
en-. to me that somebody on the other
sidewas going through some cxtraor u
nary motions. My belief was that my
noighbor had a fit. Compassion, not to
say curiosity-far be the latter from
me!-incited me to make an observa.
ton. Therefore, planted my great toe
upon the rim Of the bath tub, caught the
top Of the Partition with my hands, and
cautiously peeped over
Conscript Fathers. there was rever-
end Senator eNecutinga jig upon the
bath room floor. lie was a destitute of
garments Is a child just brought into
the world. Lankness and abundant
stomach were equally prominent in
him. He planted the fiat of his fool
upon tn: slabs to the perfect time of an
inaadible tune, and looked as much
like the dancing taun as a eve looks
like lamb. The hands that had seen
raised to enunciate the truths of states
manship were huag aloft like darkey's
at Wnitsun.ide, ana to the measure of
"lio diddle down, idle rol de diddle.'
beheld one Of the most eminent men
OF my acquaintance begui!ing the leis-
ures 9th State. What Il picture for a
constituency. What Il picture for pos
terity! A rcSunae OF those shanks and
that abdomen overthrow my reverence
for classical costume. Never NAV on,
Senators assume the Roman elemse
with such "A figure as this; for it cast
the reflection Ola spider on crutches.
witliits
"llo diaiie down, fiddle rel de diddlcw