Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1868-06-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

Dress material for courting pop-ln.a
Passed to third reading-lovs letters
Dress material for the dog -dsys-muzz-
lin. 'a
A ''deed without name" unsignr
ed will.
Facts in Natural History-Pig- headed
men are always bores. .A ~
Quicksands-the sands Of life, " which
SO soon run out" 4" ST.
Radical Senator Yates is known Is tie
corncd beef Of the Rump. q,
What roof covers the most noisy ten
ant? The roof of the mouth. ~
| An early spring-jumping out Of bed
at FIVE o'clock in the morning.
Domestic Magazines-wives who are
always blowing up their husbands.
Some one calls the time Of squeexing
Il girls hands. the palmy days Of life. s'.
To escape trouble from noisy children..l
send them to your neighbors visiting.
Epitaph for the late Cannibal King a
Dahomey-"One who loved his tsllov
men," - .say54
Out West the "grass widower"-a
growing host-are styled ad interinsbach-
elors. "a sase -
Query: Is man who has made . ioo3
Of himself to be considered = self-naas
man ...seS ..ss s-ss.5s y.
Prentice says the Southern neerose
ought to be prosperous they, are taking
stock hrgely. -
II you want to see pretty toleesble
specimen Of vanity consult-your own
looking-glass.
The music Of the cotton-mills i sup
posed to be made by the bands that rd6
the machinery.
A bore-theman who persists il talking
about himself when you wish to talk about
yourself. 9 - s. -
''Ma. what is revenge r at Is When
your daddy scoids me, and I hit him with
the broomstick." f.g4 zasG.4. "a
An India-rubber omnibus Is about o
be patented. which. when cram full, will
hold couple more. :: 5.z4,sy a.
The song of the repentaut husband aE
ter knocking his wife down---'come rest
in this bosom my own stricken dear.n
Hans, who is ajudge of morals a wall
as money. says that being tender to anoth-
er mans wife is not illegal tender"
The best argument for short dresses 10.
they give plain girls chance, What
nature has denied the face she generally
gives to the understanding. ss'ssz :
Wendell Phillips thinks four-ffths 81
the brain of this country Is absorbed II
material interests Docs this accouutfoe
the dullness in sanctum and pulpit? :.
"Hiram," said down East farmer 10
his ..hired man. who was working ings
field, lit looks as if it might rain. ;'Sposs
you leave off work and go play dig cellar
..Mynheer. do you know for what ve
calls our boy Hans2" REALLY do not
'Vell. I'll tell you; der reason We calls
our boy Hsns-dst ish his name.n ie
boys, what is all this noise il schoolT'
"It's Bill Sykes imitating alocotnosive.s
"Come.here. William. if Jon haze turn
ed into a locomotive, it's tima you sers
switched off," -.
Father" said cobbler's lad. as be
was pegging away at an old shoe, s.they
say that trout bite like everything nos.h
well. WE'LL" replied the old gentleman,
''stick to your work, and they won't bita
you. )" ~
An instructor in school for young u.
dies in Berlin has been discharged because
he gave, as asubject for essays, s'Sent3.
ments and feelings At the sight Of an OH.
Ger Of cavalry"
Mr. Robinson thinks It . eouclusiya
evidence Of drunkenness when he sees, :
man sticking . postage stamp behind hiisr
left ear and attempting to get into Z lst.
ter-bex to 60 by the mail trains .
Josh. Billings defines 'sthurrer.b.va
biznuss man," a. sswun that knows snnlF
about steslin' so't there kant euny hodv
steel from him. and enua about Ian a
that he lin do his steelin' lenallv -