Buchanan County bulletin and guardian., 1868-01-17
l DAMAGED CHARACTER NE.
pAnREO.

"There 10 man in our town" who claims
TO lave had his character smashed, and
wants US to repair damages. As we feel in
an exceedingly graciou, mood, We proceed
to haul the unknown and invisible charac,
ter out Of its beer dock on to tho stocks for
repairs. Indeed as 70 believe advertising
pays, We may as we'll ding our sign to the
breese--" Characters in all stages Of dilapi>
da,ion and decay, repaired with neatness
and dispatch. Patronage solicited. Terms,
free"
But to the shattered hulk before M. Il
will be emenbered that in last weeks issue
Of the Bslletin. correspondent from Quas,'
qaeton Il gentleman, by the way, with re-
markatly keen appreciation Of the ridicAlous
in human nature) gives an account Of Ger.
tain objects Of interest" Al an auction sale
near Quasqueton. Well, one Of these "ob.
jects Of interest,"" and who is now more an
"0biecs o: interest," than ever, and vii be
still more aa "object Of interest," after ws
finish our repairs, is the live owner Of The
shattered character before Us but lest the
whole matter may have passed from the
minds Of our readers into the oblivion OF for
ge,fulness, We reproduce the damaging on
slaught Of the correspondent from Quasque-
ton twho, "a before remarked, has remsrk.
able appreciation ofthe ridiculous and con.
,emptibls in human nature) in order that
everybody may know how serious are the
damages which We undertake to make
| whole.
"Tbere were other objects Of interest. On
| the south side Of barn stood two beings
(part humsn) one from your city and enc
IRON Quasqueton, engaged ia the low, deba.
sing employment Of psddling lager beer At
s cents glass there they stood stamping
their feet, their teeth chsttering, their bodies
shivering, objects of contempt aud ridicule
even from those who bought their slop.''
A frowning despondency upon the face Of
one was plainly visible soon, however, the
spell WAS broken, 10 cents was received for
two glasses Of beer and two squirts VI pep.
deep in bis brecches pockei) could you have
seen the selfsscri6ciny smils curling on his
lip, the b.utish expression of exulta,ion
beaming from his eye, aud the heavy heav>
ing Of bis asitated bosom, as he fearfully but
hopefully asked "won't you have anotheI
glsss?' il would have furnished convincing
proof Of the total depravity Of man."
Here, then, lies the battered hulk il evi
% lily nsedsrepAiring. and We I've say i. mod
es,ly are the generous soul to undertake the
we hal almost said hopeless task. But
tha, vas scurvy assault To intimate tha
this before Us Vas being" and onl,
part human" tool Did be mean 10 cal
him an asst But our correspondents val
evidently mistaken in calling him part hu>
man. Wen guarantee that he's all human
So that plank is 6xed up. Aud then again,
Engaged 10 the Low, debasing employment
Of peddling lager beer at s cents q glass.
Yes, the being" says be did peddle lager
beer 1t s cents a glass, and be wants the
people of Buchanan county 10 understand
that ii is . legal employment, aud he regards
it ss rsspsc.a bic Is writing sharp letters e
nswspapers--"or any other man." Unfortun'
a,ely il, - legal employment, aud SO is cell
ing live s.ulks on Main street, lndepcn
deuce, il anybody chooses to follow thai
odorous occupation, but it would nevershc
less be regarded a. u public nuisance and
public opinion would consider il . "low'
end "deLasing" employment. This is Z
pretty bard fracture, but our injured subject
has shs lag on bis side, aud may regard him
self repaired st that point. We will observe
hy way Of sentiment, that public opinion j.
hard thing 10 deal with that it is untor
tuuase for our present subject that seven
eigh,hs Of tie people Il Buchanan county
look upou liquor selling ofany kind As . low
dsbasing employment, whose whole tenden
ey ID to degrade human pa,ure and promote
drunkenness and vice. But to proceed
Not content with the damage already effect
81, the ra,Llcss correspondent, with murde
in his eye, brings up his Swamp Angel for I
eliminating shot, and accuses the being
Of receiving ten cents for two glasses Of lee
and . tro sqsirss cfpepper sauce This ii
a csusher! To assert that man would b
40 con,emp.iSly mean as to give but sing'
squirt Of pepper-saace with glass Of lager
. is so foul . slander that it canno, fail I,
bring down upon the guilty head OF the reck
: less correspondent the terrible frowns Of a'
indignant pubic. When the public frosns
/ our work is complete. and We present to al
) admirios world . character undsGlsd-WIs
TEas!
t Had Mr. wiatcrs quietly ssomsched wha
! was designed as ridiculous birlesqu,. tn
AFFAIR Of the lager aud pepper sauce ~oul
have been known to but few persons as ~
ier,ing TO him, for no names were mention
ed but as be has demanded Of Us 10 MAX
it right we have endeavored to do 90, an'
make him known to the Eve Thousand meu
women and children who read the Bulletin
; MARRIAGE l.nCEN9ES.
1h. f,tin~:rw Nurrinra l.icQnsQa Vcf