Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1868-04-18
PAT MALONEY'S CAT.

Pat Maloney, better known by the
name of Father Pat, on returning from
work one evening, was met at the gate
by Bidty, his better-half, in a high state
of excitement.
pat" says she, " there's a strange
cat in the cabin"
"Cast her out, thin !; don't be botherin
me about the haste"
FAX, an l've been %strivin to do that
for the matter of ten minits past, but she
is beyant my rache. behind the rid chlst
in the corner. Will yez be after helpin
me to dhrive her out, PatT
ITO be sure | will bad luck to the
consate she has for me house. Show her
to me, till l tache her the respect that's
due to q man in bis own house-to be
takin possession without as much as by
yer lave-the thafe Az the wurruld."
Now Pat had a special antipathy to cats,
and never let pass an opportunity to kill
n This he resolved to do in the pres.
emit case, and instantly formed a plan for
the purpose. aPerceiving but one way Of
egress for the animal, be cries out to
Biddy
Have yez liver male bag in the
house, me darlint p
"Divil q wan is there, Pat. Yez TUX
it to the mill wild yez, to bring home chips
this mornin.~
"Faix an l did. an there it is yet, thin.
An have yez nothing at all at all that
will tie up like a bag, Biddy
"Troth an I have, Pat ; sure there's
my Sunday petticoat-yez can draw the
STRINGS close at the top"
"Biddy, d%ariint, yer a jewil !; be afther
bringin it to me at wanst."
Biddy brought the garment, and sure
enough it made q good substitute for a
bag. Pat declared at a glance that it
was "illigant." Holding it close to the
edge Of the chest, he took a look behind,
and saw q pair Of eyes glazing at him.
IAN is it there ye are, ye divil? Be
out o that, bad luck to yiz, ye thaving
v~aggybone. Bedad, an yez won't lave
at all wild polite akin? Biddy, have yez
any hot wsther 7"
"Sure I've the full Az a tay-kettle, all
b:lin hot"
"Be after castin the matter of q quart,
thin, behind the chist, and wesl see how
tho basic minds the like o that
How'd close, thin ; here goes the
s:amin bot wather.'
So saying, dash went the water, and
%. came the animal into Pats trap.
"Arrah, be the howly poker, I have i'm
now, Biddy," says Pat. "Is it nine lives
We nave, ye haste? Well, now, be akin
my pardon for all the thavin we've been
doin in me house, or it's the nine lives
will not ave yez. Biddy, seize hoult av
the poker, an whilst l shoulder the haste,
jist whack the dayligbts out of the bay.
then divil intirely."
/, Pat threw the bundle over bis shout
der, and Biddy struck about three blows
to the tune of "Saint Patrick's Day iu
the Morning." when she suddenly stopped.
"Welt i'm again, Biddy"
C"Fwhat smills 80 'quare, Pat? Sure
it's takin me breath away, wild the pow
er of il. Och, murther. Pat, it's the divil
ys have in the sack"
"Bate him, thin-bate bis bloody horns
off,"
I'm faiotiu,' said Biddy. "cast him
aft ye, Pat"
"Ocb, wirra, wirra, murther, murther !
Biddy Maloney, fwbat have ye done
Yez have mistaken a nashty pole-cat for
. harrumless tame cat |"
"Pat, for the luv av hiven, av yer
co~nvanient to the dure, unclose it, for
I'm persist intirely. Oh, Biddy Msleney,
that ivir ye should lave ould ireland to
be smothered an murthered in this way !"
"Fsix the little villain bates the divil
himself /; hes ruined me house, kilt Bid.
dy, an put me out Az cousate Wild me
own self. Och, the murtbern haste r
By dint of washing and ironing, and
securing, and airing, and the burying of
Biddy's best petticoat for q space Of time,
things were At last set to rights. But not
. little recrimination took place between
them on the occasion, and neither ever
forgot the expulsion from the cabin of Bid
'dy's strange cat
70 read the English we'll, to write with
despatch a neat and legible hand, and to
be master of the first four rules of arith.