The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1868-04-30
Wit and Wisdom.


The reason We admire pretty feet: Be.
cause all's well that ends well.
Ought not q young lady Of eighteen
springs to have q fine waterfall?
The greatest lack Of self-respect Is cx.
hibited in thinking continually Of self
Some one calls the time Of squeezing
girls hands the pal,ny season of life.
The prosperous man who yields him
self up to temptation bids farewell to
welfare.
Whatever the advance in the price OF
liquors, they are, unfortunately, always
going down.
Are our girls fitted for wives ?" que
ries sober exchange. Are they fitted
for husbands'" retorts . young itemizer.
Every man has paradise around
him until he sins, and the angel Of an
accusing conscience drives him from his
| Eden.
Many beautiful women when walking
in the streets seem very angry IL they
are gazed ut, aud sadly disappointed II
they are not.
A young man who was about jumping
from y train while in motion was de-
TERED by reporter, who asked for his
name, age, business, and residence for
ali obituary item.
In ancient days the precept was,
Know thyself." In modern tin,es II
has been supplarted by the far more
fashionable maxim, "Know thy neigh
Dor and everything about him."
II hope, my little daughter" said
one morning, that you will be able tc
control your little temper to-day
"fes, mamma, and hope you will be
able to control your big temper"
A fashionably dressed lady, desirou.
OF purchasing watch, was shown ,
very beautifsl one, the shopkeeper re-
n,arhiDg that it went thirty-six hours
What, in one day - sfp asked.
A teacher who, in a fit of vexation,
called her pupils set of young addcrs,
on being reproved for her language,
apologized by saying that she was speak
ing to those just commencing arithme.
tic.
a Chinese maxim says: 1--WE require
four things Of wonlan--that virtue dwell
IN her heart; that modesty play on her
brow that sweetness flow from her lips;
that industry occupy her hands,"
The Saturday Rcriew says that, con-
sidering how many idiotic men there
are in the world with whom good wo-
men have to live, it is u blessing to the
good women that they should not he
able to know al idiot when they see
one.
There is no oinsignificancc: says Henry
Giles, which has not a lower that is
nearer than itself to nothingness; Dog
berry has Verges, Silence has Simple,
and so the gradations Of meanness are
infinite, as well rs the gradations Of
majesty.
A stupid fellow tried to annoy q popu-
lar preacher by asking him whether the
fatted calf of the parable was male or
female. "Female, to be sure" was the
reply; "for see the male" looking the
questioner full In the face, "yet alive in
the flesh before me-"
The young man who advertised for a
boarding place, where his pious example
would be equivalent for board and Iodg-
ing, Is matched by the lady who wants
house where contact with believers
would be an attendant circumstance,
and concludes with, "Address Sinner
Saved, B Postoflice."
When the Duke lie Choiseui, who was
a remarkably lean man, came to Lon
don to negotiate peace, Charles Town
send, being asked whether the French
Government had sent the preliminaries
OF treaty answered, he did not know,
but they had sent 1.-THE outline of an
Ambassador"
l am going to draw this beau into a
knot, as the young lady said when
standing at the hymenial altar.
On the lookout-the ladies for new
spring bonnels.
A bad time to borrow-when it's
Lent.
Why is a lighted candle like an ex-
tinct fire? 1t burns no longer.
A peaceful cargo of human beings
the Pacific mails.
There are a great many laughable
things upon the old earth, but she
always keeps her gravity.
To PREVENT PRINTS FROM FADING.
The dress should be washed in lather
and not by applying the soap in the usu-
al way direct upon the muslin. Make
a lather by boiling soap and, water to-
gether, let 1t stand until it is sufficient
ly cool for use, and previous to putting
the dress into it, throw in handful of
salt; rinse the dress without wringinp.
in clear, cold water, into which little
salt has been thrown; remove it and
rinse it in fresh supply of clear water
and salt. Then wiring the dress in
cloth and hang it to dry Immediately,
spreading as open as possible SO as to
prevent one part laying over another
Should there be any white in tn e pat
tern miY n 1itfIn h1ua ~, Tho ,,,okou