Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1868-08-13

4
WHAT'S the difference between pill
and hill? Ones hard to get up and
the others hard to getdown.
Why is the letter Y like q pretty
girls foot? It's at the end of beauty.
judy thinks the letter q Of more
value than cream to the dairy, lnaid,
fox it makes better-butter.
A child Of five years having seen
her pa the first time, he having been
absent, was much astonished that he
should claim any authority over her
and on one occasion of rebellion, as
he administered punishment, cried
out, Il wish you had never married
into our family"
a reporter In a Detroit paper, in
article on the city poor, sports OF
the great number of persons reduced
to poverty 'by the mysterious decree
of providence" His astonishment
may be imagined when he saw the
passage printed mysterious decrease
of provisions"
A New Albany paper gives the
following:
"Three soldiers were sitting on the
street last evening, talking of the N.
Y. nominations. "Well, says one,
Il am Democrat, but cannot 90
Seymour I shah vote for Grant. {"
land here, too" said the second.-
Then here are three good votes for
Grant," said the third. And so it
will be through the country. Sol
diers will not. vote for the man who
led the assault in the rear, encouraged
the foe in front, and refused them the
privilege of voting because they were
fighting for their country"
A leader of music in a church
where congregational singing was
practiced, selected a tune with the
wrong metre to be sungto the words
'With hyssop purge my soul, o
Lord" He tried it twice, when an
old lady cried out, mister, you lad
better try some other 'yarb. f"
Why are the letters "oz." like an
advertisement? They are for an
ounce ment.
The voices of the night-those lit
tie babies.
Olive oil is now made from west
ern hogs.
One ghost that seymour can not
see-the ghost of a chance.
When is Dan like n tailor? When
he presses his suit.
Some fishermen use cotton for
bait--so do some women.
A copperhead paper says "we can
no longer stand this" Then lie as
the rest of your party.
Advice to young ladies-if You
have taper fingers, don't burn them.
An exchange describing acelebra-
ton says: The procession was very
fine and nearly two miles in length
as was the prayer of DR. Perry the
chaplain.
A person passing through town
and observing upon door the name
of "Haswell," remarked that the
name would be as well without the
III.
A young lady prt needle in her
mouth and happening to sneeze it
was lodged in her throat. The phys
icians were unable to extract the nee
die, and after much suffering the I'M
fortunate girl died.
y grim old Judge, after hearing a
howery discourse from a prctentious
young barrister, advised him to pluck
cut the feathers from the wings of
his Imagination and stick them in
the tail of his judgment.
A doting mother being satisfied
that her child merited a logging, first
had him placed under the influence
of chloroform.
A cross old bactel says births
should be announced under the head
of new music.
A Democrat q nearly forty years
standing, i'm indianapolis, rem arked
that the New York nominations are
the most popular ever made in this
country because they please all the
Republicans and hoy The Democrats.
A lady in giving her views of the
preaching OF minister to whom she
had listened, said: Il thought it was
the business of the minister to feed
the sheep. This man don't feed us;
be only throws clubs and stones at
us, and sends us away bleating and
hungry"
An exchange says: General Grant
ard the Democracy have done a great
deal of business together within the
past few years. Grant has done the
tanning, and the Democrats have fur
nished the hides. They have handed
in two more-those of Seymour and
Blair. The Twill be done early in
November"
Many of the delegates and visitors
at the New York convention COM
planned bitterly because the price of
whisky was put up to fifteen cents a
drink during the convention. They
took revenge in nominating Blair
He will put down whiskey down in
spite of new York.
The ties Of travcl-railway ties.
Legal tender-a lawyers proposal