Elizabeth daily monitor. [volume] (Elizabeth, N.J.) 1868-1880, 1868-10-31
TO OUR LADY READERS.

~ OOh LhDI hILhDGltsC.
We beg ten thousand pardons, in
deed we do, for trespassing SO long
upon Your patience. But really we
could not keep it, for there has been II
political campaign, you know, and the
horrid men have been SO very ungallnnt
as to insist upon it that the ladies
never read anything in the newspaper.
We knew better all the time and told
our political editor so. We said to him
"my dear fellow, don't you believe for
moment that our lady friends do not
feel sighted because we so seldom at
tended to matters pertaining t6 their
interest. Don't delude yourself with
the idea that the soft velvet eyes of
violet, and blue and halle, that peruse
our columns do not feel tempted to
overflow with tears when they see
nothing about the last DEGREES of fash
ion, that regulate the length of the
train, the height of the chignon or the
perfect curative of the Greeiau Bend.
It's shame sir, we continued in an in
dignant strain, recognition for these
services in the way of boquets, slipper
&C., may be left at our Office "to thus
ignore the most charming portion of
the community who smile on us SO ten
derby when most we need their appro-
val, aud whose dainty fingers we would
sometimes give the world to touch ;
whose affection and sympathy lend
their twin graces TO make man nobler,
drawer and purer" "Oh pshaw, stuff
and nonsense" said our incorrigible as
sociate," do you think that when our
country trembles ON the verge of ruin
we are to discuss the caprice of woman ?
Do you think, SIR" and here his eye
lighted up with patriotic fervor, that
the result of this gigantic conflict at
the ballot-box which is to be realized
through campaign as grand in its de-
velopment as it was heroic in its pur
pose, is to become secondary to the
trifing cares that possess the female
mind Is it reasonable deduction
from admitted premises to argue
n-no, no, we stammered probably not,
in fact, it would be the height of pre-
stump. or rather, 1--WE were get
ting little confused, you see). sin
short, politics occupy a very impor-
tant place in their way, but they GER
tain.y don't enlighten one as to the
color of Mrs. Crookedsmiler' dress at
the ball of the Tigress Club, or prophesy
anything about that straw ride you ex-
pect to get up next winter, now do they ?
Just then dispatch came in that Sandy
Hook was going Republican by an over
whelming majority, not even leaving q
chance for Democratic gains. This
soothed his temper and he once more
looked calm and placid, as much as if
to say " well, have your own way about
it. pveadded volume to the thunders
of the Press now its your turn to
practice the harmonies. "
SO it all came out splendidly, and quiet
again reigns in the editorial counsels.
We dout expect you to say anything
about this, because if the political editor
aforesaid should know that you had
been told of his want of courtesy,
there would be trouble and no mistake.
And as long as we are telling you one
secret (of course you'll never breathe a
word of it to any living being we may
as we'll make it two by saying that he's
married man, and you'd better
not have nothing to do with him.
So ladies it's all nicely settled and the
MONITOR will dedicate, with it's most
graceful bow, portion of its columns
to your service. While it is our pur-
pose to make the paper lively and en-
tertaining we intend that it shall con
tain nothing which can offend the criti-
cal taste of our most fastidious readers,
or raise the faintest blush on their deli
cate cheeks.
p. S.--The P. E. before mentioned
has Just had the rudeness to look over
our shoulder and inquire what We are
writing about. And with yourselves
uppermost in our thoughts we replied
-" Grace.
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