Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-10-28
NUMBER MI 3 36.
T.-IN IT II-tT - y 7 ~
All Sorts OF Items,

improving. Gratifying news. NAV he live
long to firht the Radical traitors. ..'..,
% A vou,c woman .eno,o,od frs,r bsE
lover IL naturally ,nclon.cl,oly, because she
can't elope. ag.-'t'. "a u
snooks s,vs the reoson he does mt
marry is, that his house is not large enough
TO contain the consequences. 5iue
..Jacob Myers, of. Indiana countv. Pa.
gathered from one stalk $40 grains Of buck.
wheat. .rff2 mGlliH
/, ga hungry man is unnlanagcabIc. To
be docic, he must. like horse, have bit
in his mouth. a~'ariji,W -glioq N
N ga drunkard, upon hearing that the
earth was round, said that accounted for his
rolling about so much. -
The most direct method Of dctermin-
ing horse poHer-stand behind and tickle
his hind legs with a bripr. /, +, .o.s
The door between ua and heaven can.
not be opened if that between us and our
fellow men is shut. .-.---.-----------
4. 1.-The Democrats cnioy one advantage I,
from the present election rcturns-it costs
them nothing for powder. =, .,........
...Onc enthusiastic Radical in this place
threw his cbp SO high on the night of the
election, that it hasn't come down yet. '."-.'
Chinese ben, ;s srcccsse,,,v orowr s,
Kentuckv The ilonpest stoIps mo,snrey
over sixteen feet D.,. ..,...T..., -'.-
ao0.,.;,, a;...,;.e0a ,.;e, .,u. .,...,.
,nsh"nS i smoI . l llmnaa.a. n ,Sr, % W. t S.,,. M
".'s' .. - ~" s. '.:.,. . u...: ~ .aA
b;s foot in 4, '','l'7' W
- o. !, ra
-" N I..,. "aS II'I'' WV v'n.t
' " e"o"5 o",. WV" ~ 'm '',oH 'o'
'"P''' '''". >, 'o '''' "' '''N'u up
'"' ".v"s WV ''' 81. '
80" nat is tnc diierence between editors
and matrimonial experience! in the for
mer the deyil cries Tor copy, and in the
iatter the copy cries IKE the devil .,.
...A western farmer says he raises four
hundred bushels of potatoes to the acre,
which would be big thing if he didn't
raise boys enough to eat them all up. r-.
Tur,r - ,,.,dio,d in Ros,o, who;s
n the habit of placing an extra, fork beside
the plate Of such boarders as have not paid
promptly-bcinr an intimation to "fork
over" likewise eI-'. , '- s'.'.
..Endeayor ALWAYS TO remember that Won
are in the immediate presence of God, and
strive to act as you would if you saw the
Saviour standing by your side. Recollect
tina, he is really there.
Some months ago Boston house sent
out car-,, Of five hundred and nine boop-
skirts to Japan as venture. The Japs put
a cover over them and used them as UNI
brelas! ...s ,..a.r-... .,.,.,..
IA priest asked tipsy fellow, leaning
against fence, where he expected to go to
when he died. "lf don't get along any
better than now, L won't 60 Nowhere" he OF
replied. a.. y iJags .;jr ,,g4; l.l' jr
Woman is delusion, madam! !" cx-
cllimed crusty old bachelor to a witty
young lady. And man is always hugging
some dclusion or other" was the quick re-
tort ~ aiLN l'a ''HN. ' ''- ''. a'2'
IAN old maiden lady in New York has
eft al! her property for the purpose Of
building. a church, on condition that her
body and bones shall be made into mortar
IN which to lay the cornerstone.
IA lady alYertises for sale one baboon,
.hrce tabby cats and parrot. She states .
HAT, being now married, she has no further q
lse for them, for the reasonthat their ami
lble qualities are all combined in her hus- ,
band.
Vi disccnssoiatc ms fellow out west, tstt who lost
l,istwifc RECENTLY Exclaimed, weeping to a
2 gysmns,b;s;uriJ friend s"Wel, I've lost IA
loves, lost umbrellas. yess even cows md 7!
q lloorses, but never had anythingito cut me b
ike this .,,,.,..s,....,t ,t-,.. ~. ,,,.i os
An exchange announces that Mr.. Sey.
nour, in these troublesome times, sip in. "
,Qoa health, goes fishing when the skies are -s9
eats his three square meals day, ast
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