The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-01-01
sue Lovtngood'a Dream.

I was 'orful dry tother day, George,
an findin q lot ov green whisky, I jist
sucked in skinful ov it strait along.
The fust mouthful L swallowed I
hearn splosh in my heels. I wur dry
and empty both, by golly, SO. dry
that arter hit riz purity well up in
me, hit soaked through and stood all
over me in draps, making me look
like q big retikule kivered with
beads, but I swelled tighter arter
while, then I filed up purity soon.
AS soon as I Good reich hit by run
ming a spoon handle down my throte,
I shot off steam, and sot into rowing
roun. Hit warnt long before I found
myself tangled by the laigs in
the dorg fennel, and I fell in O heap
down hill, so I thort the most peace
full thing I could do war to 90 to
sleep, q thinkin ov a running win
mill.
Well, I dreamed me dream. I
thort I wur in hell, and had been
sent thar fur voting the radikil
ticket. I felt the jestice ov the sen.
tence SO much that I didn't feel so
Uneasy and mad about hit as I void
g bin eff they had sent me thar fu.
numbering bGne ole oman, or MAX
ing q back log nv sum gals fust
baby, arter soakin hit in turpentine,
or sich like common wickedness. I
thort 1 he'd bin thar long enuf to
sorter begin to. git used to the taste
ov tae whisky they stills down thar,
an 1 muss say I thinks hit q little
better than the truck what the
skulkers out ov the Confedrit army
billed for the Government, because
hit didn't create the appetite to Gus,
steal or desart half as soon on me, in
Tophet, as that. Twas safer whisky,
George, safer whisky. Well, T thort
hell was perfec roun hoie-as roun
as bum shell, right in the senter ov
the yearth. The walls wur glazed as
slick as an inyun peelin, and wur but
jest half full ov melted dinner pots;
dorg irons, an ole clock wates, with
SCUM of smoking birthstone foot
deep. The devil staid aboard oy a
bote, and had hisself rowed roun lest
as he pleased, by the jury what foun
the bill again JEFF. Davis. They look
ed like thade Like to have another
pop at that job. I think, by golly,
thade hunt long spell afore tina
found hit agin.
1 thort thar war long lether aidged
cleats nailed to the wall to cline BY.
Tha wur squar aidged up, 30 the
clin1in has all to be done on one side,
an when fellows got tired ov swim
min, they jest sot into Ginning the
cleats. l noticed that new comers
wur powerful fond ov climin. Thade
sorter slack off sometimes, ontil tha
sunk into the melted clock wates up
to the pint ov their tail bone, and by
the gost oy skeered monkey, they'd
come up overhanded to their work
agin jest n virgin and snortin.
They worked like squrils on q tired
mill. burned ef tina dident keep the
thin rollin strate along, and George.
jest as sure as you or fut high, that's
what keeps the yearth turnin roun; I
found hit out at last.
Well, one day the trap door Open
ed and the devil ordered old Forney
to steer under the hole. He steers
wild, and after swimming nearly all
over hell, he got thar, when down
poured into the bote the durnedest
sluice of mean looking cusses you
ever seed. Every body already thar
turned thar heads to look at 'em, on
clum faster. skeered at 'em by goll.
Tha wur radikils, the last burned
one. Sum had ropes roun their mex,
with running noos ahind the year,
sum had holes in their heads, sum
had big gill cut under their chin,
and every Que showed sines of hard
times an hurry. I seed Stevens,
sumner, Wade, Butler, (sur-named
the Beast,) and Wendell Phillips.
Hey" sez the devil, "what's rone
above-colery?" "Wns nor that, u
seq sumner, "the Constitution peo-
pie has riz, an ov korce, we are here
say, your Majesty. is Preston Brooks
hereT "Oh, no." seq the devil.
Wen' sez Sumner, sorter bright
min up and rubin his hans Hf'm
burned glad he amt" "stop 3
mint" sez the devil, .twait till T eori
you all out" He took up a needi1
as long as harpoon, and with a b;o
guile Of trace chains he Threaded Is
! en he picked out all the comm or m
ctJses among 'em, an strung 'em on
the chain, an hung the whole bpnol
over the aidoa ~ tho hofa ;o4o A.