Smyrna times., 1868-08-05

and irritable by being engaged to be married.
lie has happiness within his grasp, but 1t is
uncOmmoHly difficult to get at. He knows
that he has to fight and yet he is so very help
less
Let us suppose a case thus Celebs-a cheer
tul, paSsable, easy going fcllow-has taken the
great plunge. lie is in the water and he has
got to SWIM. 1t matters very little how it
happened; whether it is good thing or
bad thing whether he is wise or imprudent
whether he will be happy or miserable They
are = IN Tor 1T >; both of them, and CclebS,
with great warm mustard plaster on his
heart, dry parched feeling in his throat a
flush on his face and an excited dizziness in his
head, walks down the steps ofthe adorcd ones
bower, prepared to face the world and delib-
erately take its opinion on what has happened
within the last wild half hour
At the very outset he will encounter the
bitterest opposition. He will be attacked at
once from two most important positions The
mother and father, brother and sister, uncleS,
auntS and cousins will hate and dctcSt CelebS
and he knows it. 1t will be the same cry on
both sides: " lie or She might have done bet
ter. i" The mother will be the most obstinate
and unbPnding No woman in the world was
ever good enough for Il mothers son, and no
man was ever rich enough for mother
daughter. 1t is useless to try and persuade
them to the contrary. 1t would be easier to
square the circle. The happier the young
are when together, the more they laugh and
| look cOntented, the more bitter will be the Op-
position.
Marriages are, as a rule, not over successful;
and there is nothing SO irritating to a badly
matched couple as to see two young people
start in life with every prospect of happiness.
"Ah wait till they have been married
awhile, they will say with suecr; " why we
! Wnrn ~ h0I tIllt
! dearY'
And then comes the inevitable sigh from
the wife and Sncer from the husband.
Further, Celebs is expected to take advice
! from all quarters, as contrary as the winds Of
heaven, and look cheerful Friends and rrla-
tions have always so much to say about the
| future establishment. Suppose Crebs is not
! burdened oyermuch with the world riches,
and economy has to be considered a> much as
comfort, it is astonishing what conflicting but
| spontaneous opinions will be elected.
Mans greatest art consists in appearing to
! listen to everybody and follow the precepts Of
none. Such maxim as this will be found
most useful to those young folks who are in
training for matrmOny, and to follow it will
insure cOntentment instead of lrrtability.
! So much for CclcbS and his fight with the
world Something should surely be said about
! his position in regard to her who Is to form
part and parcel Of his life. The ante matri-
monial existence Of the young people resem-
blcs figure in Greek grammar which is known
as an oxymoron. They are learning to under
stand one another, but have not quite fallen
into the fixed and regular groove. On each
side there are OditicS Of thought and express
sion, whimsical notions handed down from pa
rents or picked up from friends. If neither Of
of the two happen to be a fool, they will have
long ago thought for themselves and formed
opinions of their own. The greatest dclicacy
is required in enforcing or mOdrrating those
opinions. A man who roughly batters down
all argument in a woman who cannot reason
as we'll as he, but has still scinilation Of rca-
son in what she says, is just as foolish and just
as hopelessly far of from gaining his point as a
woman who declares that so-and-so is right,
because she knows it is -
Again, when Celebs and his fancee meet at
dance and dinner parties and social gatherings,
whether they went under totally different cir
cumstances in the old davs- granted, ofcOurse,
that they are particularly fond Of one another
little differences apt to arise. Without
being naturally jealous they will tease and tire
one another out with petty little lovers quar-
rels. 1t is useless to repeat the old Latin
grammar qnotation; but that it is a perfectly
true one most people would be ready to ad
nit. Lovers quarrel for the mere sake of ma
king up again. a q, though IL Is an cXagge
ration in fact, it is very graceful for both OF
them to imagine and wish that neither haG
ever been loved before. Such quarrels as these
are, as has been hinted, very harmless; but
occasionally they induce seepless nights, and
not unfrequently vast expenditure of note
paper Now, sleepless nights and letter-writ
ing are not conducive to the comfort of Ceebs
who has been proved before to be unsettled ant
busy.
II is we'll for some reasons that the engaged
period is not so very happy. A celebrated
lady has said that the more uncomfortable ant
unsettled a man is before marriage, the more
will he appreciate his wife and home aftc
marriage. 1t is very proper and right tina
= this should be so; but do not let us talk fool
sh sentimentality about engagements and en-
gagged people. When man finds himself il
the embarrassing position of being engaged
let him look the difficulty steadily in the face
ask his beloved to fix an early day to be mar
s ried, and stick to it.