The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-03-05
SHAKESPEARE'S RICHARD.
Sc By the Fat Contributor.
From the Cincinnati Times

hlCndfu ln1ru WAS JIG VI INC Kings OF
England. who had wonderful ready ia
Guilty of bereaving the family of any per-
son who he didn't like. He could pro
vide funeral with a corpse upon as short
notice as any man in the business. He
eouldn't be fooled in bargain-born with
his eye-teeth cut. His nurse let him fall
when he was All infant, and humpback
was the consequence.
Richard wasn't always king He be-
longed to the royal family, to be sure
but he was poor at one time, and obtained
a scanty livelihood by publishing an al
manac. 1t was called poor Richard Al
manac. Old Ben Franklin did his
printing. Richard suffered great discon-
tent In winter, and frequently alluded to
it, particularly if he had to go on the
stage anywhere. This winter Of his dis
content was only relieved by visits of a
little son he had in New York, who made
glorious Summer for him even IN the
middle of January.
Growing weary of the Almanac bust
ness, he determined to be king He
thought he could run a throne as well as
his brother Edward, who then had a mo-
nopoly in that line. But it was necessary
to remove several people before he could
consumate his plans, and he Immediately
went about it with an energy only exhib-
tied by a new administration in removing
postmasters of opposite political faith.
He began with his brother Clarence, who
stood between him and the succession.
He began with his brother Clarence, who
stood between him and the succession.
Him hecaused to be sent to the Tower
which overlooked the Horseshoe at Mag
ara He then hired couple Of Niagara
Falls hackmen, who are ready for about
any villalny, to 90 to the Tower and dis
patch him. This they did after holding
a lengthy discussion with him upon The
subject of future punishment of the
wicked, which they conducted with single
ability. They drowned him in a vat Of
lager beer, the bev craze of which he was
exceedingly fond Richard she'd tears
when he saw Clarence was on his bier
said he was always afraid it would carry
him off. The hackmen charged exorbi
family for the job, as they do to this day
at Niagara for anything that they may
do.
Richard had love affair about this
time that produced a great gossip among
the court circles-that is to say, among
the circles that court. In addition to be-
ing hump-backed and bowlegged, he
possessed other qualities that would natu-
rally render him fascinating to women.
One day. while taking walk. he encoun-
tered a small funeral procession on Its
way to the cemeterey. 1t was the final
obsequies of an old gentleman, whom
Richard himself had pr jared for the
mournful occasion by skillful application
of his dagger, having previously perform
ed the same friendly Office for the old
gentleman son, Lady Anne's husband.
The widow Anne was chief mourncr.
Richard commanded the procession to
halt, and even offered to whip hack
driver who showed disposition to move
on.
When Lady Anne saw him she got out
OF her hack and berated him soundly for
killing her husband and father-in law, and
obtruding two funerals upon her so near
together. But Richard wasa good talk
er himself. He showed how much better
they were dead than alive-what a world
Of care he had removed them from-un
I'll she came to look upon him as her best
friend. and the result was Richard OBJ
tanned permission to come and sit MP with
her the very next Sunday night. ., wo-
man woman But let us not tarry on
-
do with now. Lady Anne became Mrs.
Richard the Third. She led very un-
quiet life with him on account Of his hay
ing the nightmare so much. lie per
suadel her to die one day, because il cost
SO much to live that winter. lie said 1t
was positively necesaaI fior him TO reduce
| his household expenses. She being an
economical woman saw the force OF his
reasoning and Immediately expired, like
an obcdlent wife, as she was.
Richard was constantly being called
upon to mourn the loss Of relatives He
wore a weed on his hat about ali the time
| He was seen in funeral possession
oftener than anywhere else, and his eyes
were always red from weeping at the
grave. King Edward died very sudden
ly after an affectionate interview with his
brother Richard, leaving two boys and a
daughter. The sons were shortly after
beds, caused by being covered up too
warm one frosty night by directions of
their Uncle Dick, who was ever solicitious
mined to mount the throne there being
no reason why he saountn't There was
a great time on the day he was coronated
| H.
and at night there was a great coronation
ball at the skating rink-single tickets
81; tickets admitting gentleman and
two ladies, $50.
Once seated on the throne, he showed
himself the tyrant that he was. He was
treacherous to his friends, and went back
on those who had helped him to power.
One friend in particular he caused to be
| lNnI ,j,., oil nut he
had been playing faro bucking against
the tiger" Every reader will recall
Richard words upon the occasion: COZ
with his head SO much for buchjag-
aAem!
His tyranny becoming at length unen-
durable, the people rose against him
| (which Shakespeare calls ''the rose Of the
fair State) led by one Richard, Virgin
ian. Richard went energetically to work
to put down the rebellion. He made
war speeches, instituted draft, and was
the author Of the famous ''On to Rich
mond' articles that appeared in the New
I ork Tribune during the period. He
marched against Richmond, and the
result is well known The field OF Bos-
worth proved poor field for him, but il
is different now. Isn't Boz acorut 81, OO(
night, Dic1te}as takes it.
Some attribute the defeat of Richard
to the fact that he couldn't get another
horse. He had one, but needed pan
to trot against Richmond Richmond
died, another example of that vaultlng
ambition which doth O erleap itself, and
fall upon the tother side Of Jordan.
CHATS Me. "A cotemporary relates
good story of pert youngster, whose
existence on this mundane spere would
not extend over the period of five years
| His mother cXnpctinw to sec cnmnanu