The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-03-14
Miscellany.
HquPalSins Roots.
pY HENNY wARp nEEcHER.

BY HENRY wARD BEECHER.
Tie earliest impression of squeaking boots
which we have treasured IN our memory was
oil Col. Talmadee, of Litchtield. in Connect
cut. lie was a tail and venerable gentle
man OF the old school. His dress
was precise. His manners were very disni-
fed. Ii was a sight with WATCHING tot. on
Sunda,, TO see him issue fiom his house. and
walk. with militars precision, under the shad-
ing Gins, 10 the village cbulch-not a speck
on Ills coat, hot an unieeuiated hair on his
head or wi with Immaculate rufiies TO his
lirt, and sort Of General Washington look
on bis lace. lie had the air of man who
md not noticed anything within yald OF he
Srouad tor score oil years. Oar ewes lell
from his face timidly, bat found CO nfort m
looking at his boots which we're great, broad,
easy boots-none Of your modern ones, that
chn2 to the feet like close fitting Glove 10
tne nanu,-but broad, ample, well creased Nv
cross wrinkles, a I'd attording to the foot room,
enough Tor door yard all around it.
Dut thoiSh polished like mirror, their
brlihancy WIS rot their chief attraction.
Thet were musical boots. Every time She
vslerlb man laid his foot upon the ground
his bouts responded. IT it was on a week
day. tue, said. March march march l. as
PLAINLY as S lue liking leather could speak
But il it was sunday. and the colonel was on
bis wav 10 meeting" every ii ne us foot
came up or rested down, it SAID, A men!
q men! A. Least, so our little ears Used 10
interpret the sound.
Ii Was at that time matter of silent spec
ulatlon with us why boots sqdeaked At one
tlma, shadoWy idea OF lite and sufar.n, SUI.
gested Itself. Tnen, We imagined that tbeie
were i'unb. e-bees in them,-we don lnow
VIII, Iness the sound reseu,bed that made
ny p1es When some Cna stepped on Their ne I.
III Inc moving lot. But we were laughed al
IA n. o.0I La,
that The reason why boots s4ueaked was
that there was squeak leather pat into them:
ana SO, on one o. casion, we amused the shoe
maker, who was measuring our little foot. by
sing hun Ito put great deal CT squeak
Ilther In them
IL is but Childish taste tor noise. We LONG
since put away childish thirgs, and now
scarcely anything is more annoying than
squeakin5 boots. There is such an air Of
pretention in them, they sound their own
praises ID snch an unnecessary manner, that
we una our temper brlstling up at the very
sound. Who wants to hear mans boots
procamlnG ms advance along the hall-sav-
ing plainly, "here come" "here | comeiv
VI, the congregation is gathered, the organ
has ceased. The audience is LISTENING In Inc
invocation. just then some fat man. verS
much at peace with himself, peri and smiling.
enters the uoof. VI course his pew is at the
other end OF the aisle. He will not wait tin
the prayer IS over, not he. He only walks a
little slower SO as to give the squeak the full
elect, Sdu-e ak! sou e-ak as il the oreapist
had lent hun the sesquialtera stopof HE or
gan or the eornet ia nve ranks. About half
way down the aisle, it occurs TO the owneJ of
the boots that they are making noise. and
all the nervous people are scowlino at him
and the BOYS and girls are looking a, him
with worldly curiosity. So to mend the
matter, he begins TO walk on tiptoe. A tat
man walking tipoe in squeakns boots in
meeting! The noise is noDe the less The
squeak Is simply roled out little thinner.
prolonged d little more vex itiouslv,
Before 1t was frank and jolly-squ ea-k!
-squ- ca 'k--real staccato! But now it. Is a
dinlnuendo-s-q-u-e- e-a-k !-s-q-u-e-e ak
with vanishing qullk 10 it. In order TO
make The most of it, he walks slower. hold.
lug out as long as the minister does, a Sit
ting down in The pew with complacent Iook
JUST as the amen is being utteredi
lou have an age. our teeth have been
ach ng. You have slept none for two nights.
An desperation you send for a dentist to re-
move an old offender. Your nerves are
dancing. You dread the Operation. At the
foot OF the stairs you hear remote ,ueak !
which proclains that he is coming. On ey-
cry stair, squeak,-along tine hall. squeak.
squeak; In your room, where stands tn.
dcntist, smiling at one end and suueakino NJ
the othef. He opens his box, changes his
place; and, as il all the outcries of All Lie
former patients. shut up IN his boots vare
now utteing their warning 10 YOU not tn let
the dentist touch your teeth, you shudder,
re use 10 go on. t"l him that you have chang
gu sour in'nd !-Vour tooth no longer aches!
Even wore is nurse with squeaking shoe,
lt u enough TO drive sick maa cTazt. Eut
Wnat shall he said OF a man who travels with
81 'elkIn9 shoes? You are to rise at and
take The train; it Is already IL O'Clock. Iou
have lost sleep for several nights. You are
just sinking into the deliciou sness of the first
sep, whe the waiter shows some late nas-
sen9er into the room overhead. Creak-
e'elK-creak-- cIeak II lie goes across fbe
rom. You imagine him pulling oil lis
Things. There-cleak-creak- back to lock
bis door. Creak-c eak-beck to the bureau
lo.r thou hts run thus: wonder If he il
looking at himself in the gas al tHi, time?
linen ne goes again to hang up his coat, | |
guess. hope he will go 10 bed and be done |
Win THIS noise. No-there he is waking |
scIoSs Cne room again. What under the sun
does be want nov? Why doesn't he ul.ll his
boots OFT? Has he no slippers and no con-
science? Well. at last he Is sill. Shawl
thele he gees oil again. now 10 the bureau
then to the CO Citizen 10 the nantal-piece
then TO the bed. " i'll the fellow never Get
into 1t and Keep quiet? 1t must OF near,y
oclocKl Only Tour homs lett Squeas-
4ncP
again / Il ring the bell for the waiter.
Waiter! Take these slippers and my card up
10 the gentleman over head and ask MN DO
iltel' Y he VIII obiige Inc so much as to Isl
leoce bis boots and let me 90 to sleep!n
WE'LL turn over-am just doing when
TWO pairs or boots came through the hall and
entered the loom next to mine, with a hin
door etween. They are rival boots evident
y. one never squeaks, but the other squeaks
louier: They go on at an extraordinary
rate--in pairs, and sinsly, iu succession and
IN unison, squeak up and squeak up and
squeak down; now 1t is solo recitativa. then
duet then fugre!. / give it upl am
good natured at last! 1t is O'Clock and
Bo1ts rule the night!
NOW. Mr.. Bonner, ought not every polite
man 10 have conscience about boots p
nave men not disagreeabe faults enough, in
manner and disposition, that they sbonld af.
TX artificial annoyances to their person, and
60 through Ii { affecting all tender rves, by
tns shrieking OF their agonized and down
KtANNA