The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-07-25
From Several Sources.

AN old and weather-worn trapper was re-
Gently seen saunteriDg along the main street
of one of our Western villages. PauSing in
front of a meeting-house for a moment, he
went in and took his seat among the congrega-
tion. The preacher was discoursing on the text
Of 'the sheep and the wolves" and had evil
IDENTIFY been drawing a contrast between the
two subjects. Says he:-"We who assemble
here from week to week and do our duty and
perform our part are the sheep; now who are
the wolves 2" A pause, and our friend the
trapper rose to his feet:-"Wa'al, stranger,
rather than see the play stopped will be the
wolves - The preacher was vanquished.
-"How much to insert this death 9' asked
person at newspaper office.
''One dollar.'
"why paid but fifty cents the last time
inserted one.'
"That was common death, said the pub
Usher, "but this is sincerely regretted" !"
"I'll tell you what" said the applicant,
"your executors will not be put to that ex-
pense.''
In certain family pair of twins made
their appearance, and were shown to their
little sister four years. 1t happened that
whenever rather prolific cat of the house
had kittens the prettiest were saved and the
rest drowned. When the twins were shown
the child by their happy father, she looked at
them earnestly, and at length putting her
little finger tip on the cheek of one of them,
looked up and said, with all the seriousness
possible, "Papa, think we'll save this one."
Two French actresses recently engaged in
violent alteration, in the course of which
the question of age was broached. The
younger was just getting the better OF her
adversary when she suddenly paused, aud
pathetically exclaimed: sob, Ciel CieL
what have / done 7 Abused her-called her
such names l never knew who was my
mother, and she might be ~
A CANDID BANKRUPT.--At recent examina-
| tion OF bankrupt, it was observed that he
kept great number of banking accounts. 81
see," said the learned judge, "that you have
had six or seven bankers; what could you
want SO many for 2" "To overdraw them, to
be sure" was the frank and candid reply.
Lord DundrSary has given his opinion in
regard to that much vexed questiOn-marriage
with deceased wife's sister:-"I think, he
says, marriage with a detheathed wife's
| thithter is very proper and economical, be-
cause when a fellah marrieth his detheathed
wife's thithter he-he hath only one mother
in-law."
-'I'm afraid you don't like babies when
they cry" said matron to gentleman as
she tried to sOothe the darling in her arms.
"Oh yes" said he, 81 like them best when
they cry, because I've always observed that
then they are invariably carried out of the
room."
"A New Reading of Keats Dedicated to the
Young Ladies' of the Present Age).-A thing
of beauty is toy for ever.
In booksellers catalogue lately appeared
the following article: "Memoirs of Charles the
First-with a head capitaily erecuted."
"A Connecticut editor gives an account o.
a man who "blew out his brains a fter bidding
his wife good-by with shotgun"
Lord Broughsm's longevity is now attri
buted to his having been preserved in Capnes
A lock of hair from young woman's head
is often a key to young mans heart.
The wicked-est man IN New York mus
be tallow- chandler.
-The-odorus ought to have a fragrant
memory.
Shifting the responsibility the
baby,