The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-05-01
dIrif an& Duulur

"NIen who have risen" Fro
nauts.
A man. to speak his mind, must
have one to speak.
4 drunken hackman's motto
"Hick-hack-hock." "# So"
- Can tho bakers on strike be
called loafers? 4
- The storm king is hard to bear,
when he is a-bruin.'
- Men, like bullets, go fWrthest
when they are smoothest. . o.
A skilful pickpocket always
takes things easy. ...
- The gentleman whose lips pres
sed a laGy's 'snowy brow" did not
catch cold,
1t may be fair question wheth-
er Iuan can be said to be welded to
celibacy. ...,...
Why is thief in a garnet like a
honest man? He is above doing a
wrong action.
Many men and women have had
occasion to know that two do not ne
etssarily make pair.
men would often ring their tender nm
gers only to wiring their tender necks'
Why is loafer in printing Of
flee like shady tree ? Because we are
glad when he leaves.
- Suspension bridges are better
than suspension banks. There IS
good deal of sw.rc-work" about both.
- Why are Odd Fellows like saul
sages? Because they are linked togeth-
or. g..
What should be the fate of the
cook who would serve up cat in what
should be veal pie p Purr-dish on
(perdition.l ~
Hood, In describing the meeting
of n man and lion, said, ''the nan
ran off with all his might and the lion
with all his name"
Bachelor at breakfast-Dear me
Susan that's very small egg Susan
Yes sir 1t is-but it was only laid
this morning, sir :!
One preacher in Newburg said
to another; ~ came near selling my
boots to-day .'Ah now was tiiae
40, had them half soled."
"A Connecticut infant was so for
tunate as to be born with three noses.
Would do for Congressional Com
mittee. ,
"A child Of five years having seen
her father for the first time, he having
having been absent in California, was
much astonished that lie should claim
any authority over her, and on one oc-
CASTOR of rebellion, as he administered
NUNS hment, she cried out, 81 wish you
had never married into our family"
"A New Orleans jury declared a
man to have come to his death by an
,.unkuown cart" About on par with
this is the Philadelphia verdict rcspec-
tjno aman who had been crushed to
death by mill, when the jury re-
marked, mo blame can be attached
to the machinery" F..
A Boston apothecary's assistant
recently pu. up prescription, ana
found that his customer had passed
counterfeit twenty-five cent piece on
Kim and a five cent bit. lie told MS
employer. "Never mind, said the
nhilosophic Yankee, "if the hve cent
bit is good there's a clean, proht of3
Q ,nts."
A Kentucky editor advertises
as follows wv a anIor e ~ .", nnnkin
and milk. of respectable size, snub nose,
rronped ears, abbreviated continuation
who can come when called with beef
WIZ WV III or,d win fake his pound of flesh
from the man who sqlirts tobacco juice
on the stove and steals the exchanges. "
,Twas Sunday night. The moon
shoDe bright, ana a., wa" son ID down ,, M ns ain
ny, Wlieu S''y , TtL;S With lady
street "She " , a 20 oaIla5 har joye
Ihey Ialei ~. % E aG2 She heaved a
ne tolu oi NE Sor eve in an onnositc
sign ana Cuiueu ", nc, - tbat start that
direcV.ou' nt r. H,itL ice incrusted?
chlliS 'he M, $3.50 't ewect sarah lane. To
a n 90 nor oi ,n t a" hut hear her
mar pms sile h Ia. S S,a INV waIcrfall
shrek OF I', NJ SP0"N'
mas o'''.cu ., oooo n,,o had
A JUSTICE vi tao p ia 5;nnity nr
but recently assumed lhe aiglIcy W
that important office IN one OF the lnusn-
room towns on the u mon r. aoil.C iS a.,
road was called on among nus iirsS uuo
ties to pass upon the g1ilt OF iIlnoce Grse
OF lnah aIiesvou nrnst;tnted the ex.
following eoiioq"y ' '
amlhatioh co.ouud Won SIR. did Won
JuStlce-Conio S''' ''
Kill that man vos cir
Irisoher." y;l cs, om, rosort ot rio
JUSTICE do any o"o pi'S'' w '
IiIlc No cir
rlsoileiD w. ' ns n will no imnos-
Justice: aI T "s ~ n m,, your gniIt
siole Ior Tue Coui i ~ piS'0
you are a'scii"rSeu-
There is no end TO the sayings Oh
j ohm Randolph of Roanoke.
Randolph was IN Tavern iy,ns ~
stepped into the room with whip IN
his hand, just come from u'iNc, anu