The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-12-11

A fruitful line-a plum(b) line.
Men Of winning ways-hro bankers.
Motto for . sherif-Rsndsr unto ssissr the
things that are ssissr's.
The objection to IN artists war scenes u, they
are always drawn battle.
The mode Of Cleopatra death showed she had
aspirations.
He who would make name In life must have
an aim In life.
II IL said tho census embraces seventeen million
women. Who wouldnt be censusr
An Irish man being asksd to define hard drink,
said. at Is sitting on rock and slipping cold wa.
ter"
Love,.the toothache. o cough, and tight boots.
are things which cannot b long kept secret.
what Is the dlnercncs between bind man and
n sailor In the lock.upf Give 70 up-because one
cannot sec to 80, and the other cannot 20 10 sea.
There Is threefoid death In sianderer's tongue
II kills him who FLANDERS, him who Is slandered,
and him who receives the slander.
.sce here, misthcr." said an Irish lad Of seven
summers, who was driven mp . tree by dog, "if
you don't take that dog away III eat mp all your
apples"
.John,s said q vlctimised husband, show
wish 10 was ~ much tho fashion TO trade wives Is
4, Is to trade horses" "why 90 Pete 20 sid cheat
somebody shockin' bad afore night"
Laughter IL seldom heard In new countries
among women. Overtaxed strength drives mirth
away In most cases, and seriousness akin to sad.
ness prevails.
Truth enters into the heart Of man when IL IL
empty, snd clean, and stiii; but when ne mind Is
shaken with passion ~ with storm, you can
never hear the voice Of the charmer, charm no
never so wisely.
sayin was lately aske to contribute to foreign
missions. "No, not on any account" said he.
.why not % asked the collector "rhe object Ii
laudabie.s "No IL isn't" replied ssvin, mot half
90 many people 90 to the devil now - ought to-.
A chap nom the country, stopping at one Of the
hotels, sat down to dinner. Upon the bill Of fare
being handed to him by the walter, he remarked
that he "didnr care bout readin' now-he'd walt
till amer dinner"
A regimeutai conn maker was asked whom he
was making n conn for. and mentioned the In
tended. "why. he is not dead" said the auerist.
"Donr trouble yourself" replied the other; "Dr.
Coe told US to make his CONN. and guess he
knows what he gave him."
took to snecr at the diminutive size Of Mr.. A. IL.
stephens, and said, al could put little salad oil
ON You, and swallow you whole" To which Mr..
stephens az once replied, sand II you did you
would have more brains In your bowels than you
ever had In your head.
Tho contemplation Of human affAlrs win lead us
10 this conclusion, that among the different con-
dltions and ranks Of men, the balance OF happi.
ness Is preserved In great measure equal, and
that tho high and the low, the rich and the poor.
approach. In real enjoyment, much nearer to each
other than Is commonly imagined.
II You want to wed. and don't choose TO wed
woman-the best thing out In that iine-then mar
~ Library. II you get doubtful. Indifferent,
or had one Il Is easily got rid or Perhaps-who
knows-it Il not so with woman. or books you
are sure. They are cheap, comparatively, and
don't change dress every quarter or 80.
Amer the nrst earthquake shock at San Francis
co, q lady was seen returning, In scant attire, to
the house she had 80 suddenly vacated, vainly
endeavorins to pull the crimpipg pins out Of her
hair. Just before there had issued nom another
house woman with her hoopskirt over her night
dress, and ~ she 81 bed out she caushther not
In 10, and fell; isur other women following. feli
upon hcr-the last one exclaimins. as she went
down, 40 Lord, please don't swallow me Jet"
How absurd 10 10 to teach . girl that beauty Is
Of no value. dress Of no usei Beauty 10 Of value
her whole prospects and happiness In life may
depend upon anew gown-and n she have i've
grains Of common sense, abe win ind this out.
Tho great thing Ii 10 teach her their just value,
and that there must b something better under y
bonnet than pretty faee FOR real happiness. hut
never sacrifice tho truth.
Dr.. Doran says that the Presbyserians Of craw.
ford. IN Scotland, were. in the i7th century, TO
marxabls for irrslision and stinginess. al .
kirk collection, all that was found In the plato A.
Ter prayer, sermon. and . christening. were two
bad shiilinss and baby" This 10 founded on IN
entry In the Presbyterian record that . certain
collection In 1893 included "two bad shiiiinss and
q babler-uo doubt the copper coin known a.
bawbse.
A waSxish Journalist. who 10 often merry over
his personal plainness, tells this story Of him.
self, al went to chemist Ne other day for adoss
Of morphine for sick nsend. The assistant OBJ
jected TO giving 10 10 ne without prescription.
evidently fearing thai ! Intended suicide
"Pshaw," said I. do hook like . man who
would kill himsslfr' Casing steadily al me mo-
ment. he replied. az don't know; but 10 seems 10
me II looked like you ! should b strongly
tempted 10 kill myself"