Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-11-11
ANECpOTEs OF AN ECCENTRIC.
BY /" GRIs.
[from the CINCINNATI Times. ]


Fred Emmons was an eccentric wit
we'll known at Buffalo, Cleveland, and
other lake ports, several years ago, as g
steamboat runner" He ii was who. on
being stopped by robber one dark night.
With demand ter his +" money or his
life, " cooily responded that he hadn't got
any money, but if he would step under a
a lamp post he would write him his note
/ fer I've or ten dollars. Poor Fred 1t
uas immateriai to him whether IT was five
or ten dollars, for he never paid anything.
Charley Coe, Of Cleveland, now pro
prietor OF the Cleveland Touring mills,
! (and the man, by the way, to whom Arte-
mus Ward dedicated his first book, styling
him in his characteristic, warm-hcarted
way, "a friend all the year round }, once
lost valuable dog. Thinking that he
might have got on board the Buffalo boat
and been carried off, as he was about the
dock great deal, Coe wrote to Fred EN-,
mons, then in Buffalo, to Institute search
tor the dog. Weeks passed without :,
word from Fred Being in Buffalo one
day, Mr.. Coe met Fred, who said he had
been searching for the dog ever since the
receipt of his letter, but without any sue
cess thus far
II have, however" said Fred, IA little
bill that | would like to settle, it conyen-
lent"
He thereupon produced bill, which
ran (and it Is runaing yet, we reckon
about as follows:
BUFFALO, ---------------
Charles Coe, Esq. TO Fred Emmons, DR..
To one weeks board ct American ...........$5, 90
To one weeks board at Mansion Heuse.... 500
To one weeks board at United States...... 500
To three meals at ''ISed Jacket ............ 30
To thres meals at ''TerrapIn' .-.......-.... SO
70 thTee meals st Bi0omerS...... ......,... 800
To subdry meals at yaalous restanrant9..lQ 600
Total. .....,........... ..............$al 90
"What does this mean 2" said Coe.
"You wanted me to look up ycur dog,
didn't you p
Certainly
''You expected to pay any expense /
went to 2"
of course, any reasonable expense
"Well, that's just what I've been do
ing I have been boarding around atthe
various hotels and restaurants, tasting
sausage, to see if l could find any traces
Of your dog, but haven't yet
ne was excused FROM any further
search IL that way.
Once, in Cleveland, Fred was solicit
ing passengers at the dock for the Butfa-
10 boat. AS the boat vas about to leave,
a carriage drove furiously to the dock
and out got pondorous puffy man, with
an immense expanse of white shirt-bosom,
followed by an equally fat wife, with a
nurse an! several children.
This way for the Buffalo boat y
shouted Fred.
The man with the broad shirt bosom
wanted to know what the passage for
himself and family would amountt to be-
fore going aboard.
Tell you in a minute" said E mons,
whipping out big red pencil used in
filing out posters
Then, before he knew what lie was
about, Fred had it all figured out on the
old fellows broad white shirt.front !!
tA|4S al " LjOLiCAt VI GpCGGLiCSo ldS53c
On the part Of the man, as he cast his eyes
from the big red figures on his Shirt
bosom to Fred, who looked the image Of
guileless innocence at that moment, and
then he pitcAed in and gave Fred such a
whaling that he was laid up in bed for
six weeks after. 10 most of people it
would seem to have been rather an ex-
pensive joke, but Fred always declared
that i, was worth it." He said the as
tonishmcnt cn the old mans face when
he saw the figuring was "better than to
be licked to death. We should say So
Fred was great boaster. He boasted
too much and too loud one day. He had
been absent from Cleveland for long
time, and coming back one day, he said
he had been to California and the gold
diggings, and brought back lots Of gold.
Some fellows who believed the story fol-
lowed him ont Of a saloon one night, in
to lonely street, and murdered him for
his money. They didn't find cent about
! him to reward them for the bloody deed
Poor Fred if he could say anything
about it he would have said it was "a good
! joke On them.