Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-09-30
All Sorts Of Items.

All Sorts Of Items.
The wicked mans" cigars are the la-
test novelty.
..."Sambo, did you ever see the Catskill
Mountains?" mo, Clsn; but I've seen
the cats kill mice!' ....
MA, what is revenge?" 1T is when
your dad scolds me, aud l hit him with the
broomstick."
...Ephrata, Lancaster county, Pa, has the
honor Of being the first place in America at
which Sunday school was established.
IA man who will take a newspaper for
three or four years and then refuse to pay
for it, will steal his grandmother's night.cap
and sell it for whisky.
IA young lady in Philadelphia is making
bed,quit which, when completed, will
measure eight feet square and contain 3,747
pieces.
"A man in London kept the body of his
dead daughter in the house seventeen days,
until he could get up rattle to pay the
funeral expenses. ..
...Hunnicutt told some Richmond negroes
that Democratic flags were reasonable, and
ought to be pulled down. Some tried it on
and let up in the hospital.
1.-The "wickedest man in Troy" wears o
Seymour badge upon his bosom.-Journal
The "oldest topper in Troy" wears Grant
badge on the end Of his nose.-Argus.
IA courtly negro recently sent reply to
an invitation, in which he regretted "that
circumstances repugnant to the acquiescc
would prevent his acceptance to the invite"
IA Yankee wishing for some sauce for
his dumplings forgot the name Of it and
said: "Here, waiter, fetch me some Of
that gravy that you swallow your dumplings
in!" ...
IA Mongrel exchange asks: "Are you
going to let the rebels govern?" No, sir;
and therefore we are going to put the party
led by Phillips, Sumner and Butler out Of
power.
IA man on Cape Cod having advertised
his wife as having left his bed and board,
she retorts that she went away for couple
Of weeks to earn her board, and that the
bed belonged to her mother.
IF our young lady readers would like to
take away sun burn, they should take
handful of bran, pour quart Of boiling
water on it, let it stand one hour, and then
strain it. When cold put it to pint Of bay
rum. Bottle and use when needed.
IA crippled soldier, who can barely get
his living, with the aid Of his pension, by
peddIing books, is made to pay SIS by q
Radical assessor; IS for license, and $40
for the privilege Of travelling with horse.
This is one Of the beauties Of Radical legis.
lation.
IA story is told Of young lady teacher
in one of our Sabbeth schools, who one day
asked youngster what matrimony was. He
mistook the question for purgatory, aud an
swered, "a place or state of punishment
where some souls suffer before they 60 to
heaven"
why is it that when people meet on
the street they invariably stop to talk right
in the middle of the sidewalk, and will not
move an inch for passers-by, who must
either walk around or be jostled by them.
Why can they not walk along If they de-
sire to converse, or if that does not suit can
they not step aside.
The ''wickedcst woman" at South End,
in Boston, has been discovered. She goes
to ride on Sunday, never goes to church,
attends from sixty to one hundred dancing
parties during the season, drinks up her
husband's s medicine Whisky, and smokes
up his fragrant Havanas.
...We would put Democrats on their
guard against believing the Radical stories
Of this and that prominent Democrat hav'
ing gone over to the enemy. They arc play
ing brag game in this respect, but it will
not work. Who will seek refuge in the en-.
emy's lines when he is on the point Of lay.
ing down his arms? ......
IA broad shouldered German girl re.
Gently met an exquisite on street crossing
in Cincinnati, where one or the other must
turn out into the mud. The exquisite
didn't care to dirty his boots, and in amin.
sulting manner ordered the girl aside. Her
reply was blow from the shoulder, which
sent the swell clean off his feot into the
mud, and she calmly stepped over his pros
trate form passing on dry shod. Bully for