davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

A JUVENILE "SHow. Last summer. saws
lady friend of ours, little boy only FIVE
years OF age invited me into summer 6ouea
to see his " show" [ paid penny at the
door, and gravely seated myself on bench n
wait for the performance to begin. There wa,
a piece OF twlne stretched across the summer.
house, and Master Harry took seat beside il
saying:
These are my tame grasshoppers in this
box, and I've teached 'em to walk on tight
rope; now you'll sce"
lie took great brown grasshopper from the
box, placed him on string, and to nv aston
lshment he crawled slowly along to the other
end, and made no attempt to jump off, At last
solved the mystery, and found that his legs
had been removed, so of course he could do
nothing else but crawl
Why, Harry | exclaimed, "how could
:" didn't hurt him bit, auntic." was hi.
confident reply; those great ings were lust in
the way, and he never could walk like folks "
:" But it did hurt him, Harry" exrlainn}
HIS long legs are part of his BODY, lust ma
much as your legs are a part of you. -
w asn speck OF juice in en- ANYWAY" "
persisted Harry, looking rather soberlv mr. hi.
tame grasshopper, and | thought if it burt
him he'd have said something abou, it,
n great many little insects have no mower
. cry when they are. in pain, but feel pain Just
he same as Others. -
",Oh !! said Harry, he's deaf and dumb.
IN he! We'll, | won't tame any more grass.
loppers; but these two are spoilt already, and
guess we II 60 on with the show. !"
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

sha1i ~ anu one or more of said parties tn sad
tberanS Iii h guilty ora misdemeanOr and on
dors o Oe liable TO penalty of not less than nr
ofn not ~. oI more than ten thousand dollars and ~ ~
ft T.; IN one judicial district of the ITned sha
viii ni IN either Of the said districts and oov H
said O tred determined punished in ~ ~
wholly committed therein 90 ID IL nau Oeen actually and
SEC 81. And be it further arootod M. -
snanda te provisions of the or acts of ~;
tt y the secretary OF the Treasury or ~ p-
for ba not less than five thousand dollars
SFH S5 9lSchage of the duties Of such
shall ali Anu De II further ed That any NJ So II
hoT r ~ away or otherwise dispose of anv
or winch nave been stamped, without first
stroylng such stamps shall On convicti "
oece De liable to penalty of one hnndrad 5 OF
to 81 % not exceeding sixty days. or bOth in tb d;
III ~ te court with the costs the trial and II sL
~ c;o G revenue officer TO desrnv o Law
SF "a Mnlcn cigar stamp shall be f0und ' 0"'p
now NJ urther enacted That the TONNAGE dptv
eion r Un al ships, vessels, steamers enSa1ad ~ f
veor Stc commerce. shall be levied but onco IN IoI
bor meh pad by such ship, vessel or steamar M
utIe OF such payment. 'A'4H One year from the
acts a. ANA be It further enacted That all acts or o 0
any tax upon advertisements or the cross Gts I'M
not he are heTeby repealed Provided That this acF sb I'll
~ 10 aiect act done right accrued or I
vaS huer former acts but such ripht S rh
All SUIT and prosecutions for acts already dnn ~
sbiot @ Ioner act or acts of Congress rplan 20 +bn
VIII IA IKE manner if this had not baen M
~ h; fuses aud provisions in existing laws resp anu M th m
Approved, March 2, 1867. " e'ieu applcaOIe thereto
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

fyou would have loving wife be as gentle
IN your words after as before marriage treat
her quite. as tenderly when matron az when
miss; don't make her the maid of all work
and ask her why she looks less tidy and neat
than when you first knew her." don't buv
cheap, tough beef, and scod because it does
not come on the table porter house - don't
grumble about squalling babies if YOU cannot
keep up nursery" and remember that
baby may take after its papa" in disposition:
don't smoke and chew tobacco, and thus shat,
ter your nerves, and spoil your temper, and
plain that your wife declines to kiss YOU: 90
home joyous and cheerful to your wife and tell
her the good news you have heard, and not 81 F..
lently put on your hat and go out to the ''club'
or lodge and let her afterwards learn that
you spent the evening atthe opera or at fancy
ball with Mrs: Dash. Love your wife; be pa-
tlent; remember you are not perfect, but m try
to be; let whisky, tobacco and vulgar comma
ny alone; spend your evenings with your wife.
and live decent, Christian life, and your w;Ee
will be loving and true-if you did not r:arrv n
heartless beauty without sense or worth: If
you did, who is to blame if you suffer the con.
'''0 wi"
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
P o EFT r Y
Written for the "Times."
"AET THERE BE LTGHT!o

-" Let there be light" The Worlds Great Artho.
speaks,
ana Darkness flies, abashed to distant caves:
"h''e from the skies in god-like spIendor breaks.
lhe Oro OF Day, "'er land and oceans waves,
And reigning Chaos, his wild rule did cease
H"u Earth ana Air and Seas how'd to the God of
Peace! u
"Ae' there be light" Command of Natures Chief,
" men animated Silence into speech =
MIC" spoke from nought the Aow'ring Palm and
leaf "''U
ana gave tongue to every Sea-swept teacb.-
"a' cd''eo bright plants from each anointed sod.
anu rom II made proud Man,-tAe Image of his
God!
An AND Man came forth instinct with Light and Life.
His scePtre waved DER every living thing.
1edee was his watchword. His realm could kpow
no strife!
While Earth and Sea combined, him full increase
to bring.
But SIN hath reared his frightfuI image now:
ana D0rkness hrOios his pail on Natures radiant
brou!
we feel the weight and sorrow of the Curse
That struck His Own Divinity from Mani
we Know that nought but Virtue can disperse
ne Clouds our own great Destiny doth span.
we heed the words that herald US our loss,
LET HERE BE LIGHT" Our Light is still N. Cro.o
Smyrna, Del, Feb, 24th, 1868. -''-''"'
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
WHOLE NO. 681
ODE TO A BOB.TAILED CAT.

ODE TO A BOB.TAILED CAT.
Felis infelix Cat unfortunate,
With nary narrative
Canst thou no tale relate
OF how
(Miaow y
Thy tail-end came to terminate
So bluntly?
Didst wear it off by
Sedentary habits,
As do the rabbits ?
Didst 90 a
Fishing with it,
Wishing with it
To 9 bob" for catfish,
And got bobbed thyself?
Curses on that fish!
Didst lose it in kittcnhood,
Hungrily chewing it?
Or, gally pursuing it,
Did it make tangent,
Abrupt, refrangent
From thy swift circuit?
Or did some jealous Tom
Detect yer
In some sly Irritation,
And after nocturnal lecture,
Bite off thy termination?
And sarve yer right!
Did some mischievous boy,
Some barbarous boy,
Some murderous boy,
Eliminate thy fnis?
Let every cat scratch him
Suck his breath,
Be his death,
Where'er they can catch him!
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

WHAT KIND OF a MAN.-There must have
been some curious specimens of Scottish bu.
NOR brought out at the examinations or cate.
chzlngs by ministers of the flock before the
administration of the communion. Thus, with
reference to human nature before the fall, a
man was asked: ' .
What kind of man was Adam2
mm,Oh, jist like ither folk. +"
The minister insisted on having a more spe.
clai description of the first man, and pressed
for more explanation. FN'9oN
H. " Te eel, said the hecatuchumen, che was just
How so?' asked the minister.
many lost" y ''' >. ~AN ~
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
RACY LINES.

Life is bat span of horses,
;, One is " Age" the other "Primo -
Up and down the hill our course is
10 in, ponies, make your time.
Boyhood plies the whip of pleasure:
Youthful folly gives stroke;
Manhood goadS them at his leisure
Let 'em rip, they're tough as oak"
" "iii.yah there, the stakes we'll pocket,
10 the winds let care be sent;
Time, 240; whip in socket
Give 'em string and let EN- went"
On the sunny road to fifty,
Prime " is drownd in Lethe's stream
Age is left us, old, unthriEty,
Life then proves e-horse team"
" Age," ," jOgs on, grows quite unsteady.
Reels and slackcns in his pace;
" Kicks the bucket" always ready,
Give it up Death wins the race
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
Profits.
Spec!alities.
MEDICAL TREATNENT

Calculations on extensive nd reliable data show
TecFeased rate OF In0uary nuder What hnOwn as
me Homeopathic sysie OF medicine. Therefore
Ee make deduction o. Ten pc. isIn Ia bile rat
Ipo" each faymen OF premium by those habIIuay
I~lns ihis mode Ot treatment. ln of medical
practice being changed thereafter foil will be
charged. In order thai injustice may be doae to
those preteTing other schools Of medicine ~ appOr-
iOnBeni Of profits, Ter reduced rales, will be SEGA.
-alelv made
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

The crew of man -of-war once saw comet,
ana were somewhat alarmed and surprised at
its appearance. The hands met and appointed
committee to wait on the commander to ask
his opinion of it. They approached him, and
we want to ask your opinion, your honor. 4"
well, my boys, what is it about p
We want to inquire about that thing up
there" ~
Now, before answer you, first let me
know what you think it is"
.'Well, your honor, we have talked it over,
and we think it is star sprung aleak."
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

!, A school boy lately handed in to his teach, =
the following characteristic composition
-. A6out Dogs.-Dogs is usefeller ms oots
Nice MIC is ,a1feard of mad cats. They bite 'em :"
Dogs follers boys and catches hop bv the oar
d hogs rarely bite. People eats hogs but not not
Soes 5ne Jews; as they and all other animals that
sn%tDsa aOesi cne% the c9d isn't clean ones. Dogs
n;tns eS q gus MT with bootjacks for barking of
Tlecs' moc sleepy people git mad and throw 'em.
logs is the best animal for man thoy do more
Ior man than crowned hogs or koons or even
gotes' Gotes smell. The end"
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
CASH SYSTEM!
To the Citizens of Smyrna and Vicinity.

The subscriber, having tried the credit system
and found it Improbable to both his customsrs and
himself. intends 10 sell Exclusively for Cash or
Country Produce. afier the 6rst day of February
next, 1868, nj which time he will try and show
that money brings better bargains than credit. g
fsFsias 'saaa HENRY C. sPRUANcE.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

AMUSING SCENE AT FIRE-A few nights
ago the Military Asylum at Augusta, Maine
a sort of Chelsea Hospital for our disabled SOL
dlers-took fire and was destroyed in a few
hours. 1t was an extensive wooden structure;
and when it took fire at 9:20 O'Clock from
gasoline mandatory on the premises, the
whole cOmbustible mass was soon in such a
blaze that nothing could stop the building The
place contained 219 inmates, about thirty of
whom were in the hospital ward These last
were quickly removed; and then the rest of
the Old soldiers, great many of whom were
crlpples, began to exert themselves and in
trying to do what they could in the confusion,
they came across barrel of whisky which, if left
behind, as they all agreed, would only blow up.
making matters worse and doing no good in
the end. SO to prevent mischief, they rolled
1t out, and it lost its head very unaccountably.
and, by strange coincidence, they soon lost
their own, In the same manner and then
scene followed which nobody but Hogarth
could describe in any adequate way. 1t was
poW,cor, a c0rro6Org and Donny brook fair all
Jumbled together. One-legged men and one
armed men fell out and fell in, and fought one
another as tiercely as if they had their natural
complement of limbs, and as if they really be- |
lleved that the war was not yet over. The |
Mayor OF the city was called on to interfere |!
but 1t was not till the barrel was empty that
the veterans would listen to reason. They |
were then carted off, in various conditions of |
mind and body, to Waverly Hall and properly
cared tor-all except one man, who pershed |
with cold. Poor fellows IN Y. Times.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

MARY Magdalen had seven devils cast out
of her. never heard of man having seven
nevis cast out of him, growled cynical bach
elor, IN the course OF a discussion on the wo.
man question. ...a.
No, they are not cast out yet, believe. y
was the quiet response of his fair antagonist.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
Policies Secured by pledge of
Public Stocks.

Ia addition TO all the advantages herein before set
forth The Atlantic MulusI presents feature looking
10 the perfect security of Its policy holders.
BY special enactment OF The Legislature Of New
YORK. al lis recent session, The Atlantic Mutual Life
Insurance company are permitted and are prepared
40 issue class ofPotcies eTed By the Superintendent Of
Ms insHranee Department, UNDER Ills OFFICIAL
SEAL as secured by pledge Of public tOck. Thus
ensbling them 20 ofIer virtually the same security
as now given for the redemption of Ma.
fioHaL Bank Currency, Thus it would appear that
the AIisnl,c Mutual Lille Insurance Company may
FighuIIy claim the confidence and patronage Of This
and every community. IL has been the endeavor OF
the officers TO profit by past experience and TO give to
policy holders every possible advantage and The best
possible security.
For Rates. Agencies, and other particulars Apply to
Chas. H.. MahOn, WI. ID.
...1s.aa sH SMYRNA, DEL.
General agent for Delaware and Eastern Maryland,
and Lancaster, Chester aid Delaware Counties IN
Pennsylvania ap-24 y.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

WOMEN VENERATIONS. If women have
one weakness more marked than men. il il TO-
wards veneration. They are born worshipners
makers OF silver shrines for some divinity or
other, which of course, they always think fell
straight down from heaven. The first step
towards their falling in love with an ordinary
mortal IS generally to dress him out with ali
manner OF real or fancied superiority; and,
having made him up, they worship him Now
a truly great man, a man really grand and no.
hle IN art and intellect has this advantage with
women, that he Is an idol ready made to hand;
and SO that very painstaking and ingenious sex
have less labor in getting him up, and can he
ready to worship him on shorter notice Tn
particular is this the case where a sacred nro-
tesslon and a moral supremacy are added to
the intellectual. just think of the career of
celebrated preachers and divines in all ages
Have they not stood like the images "Nebu-
enadneEzar the king set up" and all woman
KIND, coqucttes and flirts not excepted. been
ready to fall down and worship, even before
the sound OF cornet, flute, harp, sacbut, &c
Is 1t not the faithful Paula, with her beautiful
face, PROSTATE in reverence, before poor old.
lean, haggard, dying St. Jerome. in the most
splendid painting of the world an emblem and
a sign or woman external power of self-sacri- |
nee TO what she deems noblest in man? Doc,
not old Richard Baxter tell us, with DELIGHT |
iul single heartedness, how his wife fell in love |
with him first, in spite his long pale face; and
how she confessed, dear soul, after MANY wears ears
OF married life, that she had found him less
bitter and sour than she expected? The fact
IS, women are burdened with fealty, faith. rev.
erence, more than they know what to do with.
they stand like hedge of sweet meas, throw,
ing out tiuttering tendrils everywhere for some.
thing hlgh. and strong to climb up bv. and
when they find it, be it ever so rough IN the
bark, they catch upon it. And instances are
not wanting OF those who have turned away
rom rom the hattery of admirers to PROSTATE them.
selves at the feet of a genuine hero, who never
Tooeu y them' except by heroic deeds, and the
'hetorlc OF noble life.-Ihe MiRister's Wooin9.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
Non-forfeitures of Policies.

Common Ltfe and endowment policies are nonGor-
teiIaSe 10 the amount o premium paid. after three
annual premiums have been paid.
The Tea-PreD.ium life and endowment policies
are non-'Orlehable after Two annual premiums have
been pail 10 The amount Of many tenhs Of the val
us of policy, the nImber of annual premiums paid
POLICIES SINCONTESTIBLE.
Al policies issued by ihIs Company, are, by their
terms incoHteSiie al the expiration Of years
Sg1inst any the statement OfappcalOn. Thus
guarding against the possibility Of loss by litigation
alter DEATH as is frequently the case.
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

An editor having served on a jury Is so ful
OF law that he cheats himself :
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
Peculiar Advantages.
Rates
ALBANY, n. Y.
ROBERT II. PRUYN, President.
"A MES Hen ORiCK. Vice President.

Except the fern " table. The rates nre all ,DiH
fr@tts and are calculated at low figure as past
: T. efehce ms demonstrated To be ample. based upon
Ia highest rie OF mortality any lowest rae of InIer
t>t Here arises
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04


JUST FROM THE BARBER s.-Jones has inst
come from the BARRIERS. He has had his face
shaved OF all hirsute growth except his net
goatee, his frosty locks dyed; he has been
Sshampooed, has had his boots BACKED, been
brushed. "00N
Never before had Jones felt himself to he
such an abject atom, so hopeleSsly low in the
scale OF civilization, so utterly depraved in the
estimation OF mankind, as he did during the
twenty minutes he spent under that barber's
hands, and went on his way an humber and
wiser man.
1t was the barber who impaired TO him tho
cheerful information that in few months his
rapidly thinning hair would all be gone; that
Il ne was getting too old; that his collar was not
fashionable; that he didn't smell well; that
ehe soap he had been using was useless in re-
moving dirt, and that he smoked bad cigars
tne latter being GprOpOS to the fact that his
the BARRIERS s. brother had Just arrived from
Havana with some genuine ones.
lie learned all this too, under circumstances
Ot great aggravatiOn, in broken sentences. |
WI " me the barber was conversing with all the |
other BARRIERS in German about the merits of
some black and tan pup, each one LOOKING ot
ne otherS, and treating their customers with
!, perfect indifference amounting to contempt
lie also recalls with anguish how, during the
progress OF this conversation and the accom-
'anyylng inattention, the iron entered his soul
n the form OF lather- brush in his mouth. and
low his head was handled roughly as tbongh
was a billiard ball being sand-papcred. Not
he faIntcst touch Of commisseration in that
'arbe!r, touch he was true to the instincts of
us tribe, who seem to imagine mankind to be
made for their legitimate prey, as thoroughly
fish are the pelican's.
Now Jones wishes to know whether this can,
OF be reformed. Is the consideration due to
hose exlIed French and expatriated Poles,
ho always turn out BARRIERS, so great that we
re to allow them to wreak upon our innocent
eads the pent-up vengeance of their noble
)uls?
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
OFFICIAL.

LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES.
F0Ssed at the First Session ofths THrty Ninth Con-
greSS
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04
Prompt Payment of Losses.

All losses are by The Of the policy made pay
ahe Immediately upon satisfactory proof OF loss. and
not as Is usually The at The expiration Of sirty
ninetH d1na
Smyrna times., 1868-03-04

AN Ac-,o, lPUBLIc-No. s41
AN ACTto amend existing laws relatin1 IN -
Tor other purposes W.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-12-05

IMPORTANT To MANUFACTURER
fact developed in the Police Court yes
terday morning, is of very direct inter
est to manufacturer who are purchas-
ing coal, either by contract or other
wise. In section I'd of the supplement
tary ordinance passed by the City
Council on the 18Th ult., relating to the
weighing of coal, &C., the last clause,
az published in the city papers, read as
follows:
"Tbis ordinance shall apply to all
coal delivered to the Water Works or
distributed by order of Council TO pub
lie offices, hose or engine houses, or the
poor of the city; provided, this section
shall not apply to manufacturers own
ing their own coal bank and supplying
their factories thereiEom, or, of neces-
sity, having to purchase coal by con-
tracts"
ItaPPears that the ordinance passed
the first branch of Council with the
clause we have quoted as 1t was
printed. Subsequently,, however, when
the ordinance came up in the
second branch this clause was amend
ed by striking out all after the word
''therefrom," thus cutting of maniac
turers from the privilege OF purcbas'
ing coal by contract otherwise than az
prescribed by the ordinance. The or
dinance was finally passed as amend
ed, but by an oversight, was published
without the elision of the part stricken
ont.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-12-05


CIRCUIT CoURT.-Tbe Court met yes
tsrday morning pursuant to its adj
journment. Present, i. II. Caldwell,
Judge.
Jas. a. Macauley, and VIM. II.
Caldwell, appeared in court, and hav-
ing taken tho prescribed oaths, were
duly admitted 10 practice in said court.
John Martin Crow, alias John Mar
tin Grim, under an Indictment for
malicIously obstructing the rail road
truck (of The Hempfield road) was ar
raigned and pleaded not guilty. Case
continued Till the next term of court,
the accused being admitted to bail in
the sum of $500.
The case OF Aaron Aiken, for petit
larceny. was continued.
Sydney Shay, under an Indictment
for petit larceny, was put upon his trial
and adjudged guilty. Whereupon he
was sentenced to imprisonment for
thirty days in the county jail.
Joseph Gruber, previously convicted
OF felony, was brought into court and
sentenced to four years imprisonment
in the penitentiary. Provided that the
prisoner beallowed forty days in which
to file IA writ OF SupeTSedeaS.
The Court adjourned till Monday
morning at 10 o'clock.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-12-05

~ 81
A FEw reasons why the Wheeler d
Wilson's Sewing Machine should have
the preference over all others. LIST. Be-
cause 1t has always received the High
est Premiums at, all the important
fairs held In Europe and America, the
award being made by men of the high
est standing, and capable of giving an
intelligent decision. I'd. The fact that
1t uses no shuttle and makes the lock
stitch. Sd. The fact that of all the diff
ferent Sewing Machine stitches offer
cred to the public during the last ten
years, It has been clearly demonstrat-
ed that the lock stitch is the only stitch
suitable for family sewing or manu-
featuring. 4ih. For beauty and excel
lence ofstitch, alike on both sides of
the fabric sewed. 9th. For strength.
rfrmness, elasticity and durability of
Ream that will not rip or ravel. 9th.
For economy of thread. By the use Of
this machine its price is saved in a
short time. 18th, For .Sinlp Licity OF parts
and Rdaptation'tot the widest range OF
work, for instead of Boosting Of a va
riety OF useless stitches and movements,
1t claims 70 make but one kind Of stitch
and that with the finest movements poS-
SIble. Sth. The WHERLRR q Wm-
SON is the only Sewing Machine
in the world using the glass cloth
presser, braider, and corder with
the improved hemmer adapted to
making every width of hem. 9th. For
the fact that Il is the only machine upon
which you can seam, hem, fell, gather
and sew on without making change In
the machine. 10Th. For its oompactness
and elegance of model and finish, and
at the same time being sold as low, OF
ut the same price OF other machines,
18th. For its speed, ease of operation,
management, and quietness of move
ment. 18th. For the fact that its sales
as shown by sworn yearly statements,
equal the combined sales OF sSinHer,' u
Borrower q Baker" and "Howe," which
can only be attributed to its superiori-
| ty as machine for family use. 18th.
Every machine sold from our office, or
by our agents, is warranted for three
years. and thorough instructions given
| in its use FREQ OF charge. 18th. 1t has
been the popular Family Sowing Ma
chine for fifteen years, and hence it Is
no experiment 10 buy Il. Every one is
invited TO call and examine these Ma
chimes at our Salesroom, 90 Main street,
Wheeling, whether intending to pur-
chase or not. WIN. SUMNER IL Co.
4
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1868-12-05

Rkv. JOHN G. GoETrMAN, OF Alleghe.
ny City, Pa, will, ID. WI omolato at
the English Evan. Lutheran Church to.
morrow. ProachinE at 1OIz A. NJ. and !
T. NJ, and addressing the children in
the afternoon. Rev. Goettman is look.
ed upon as one OF the rising young men
Of the Lutheran Church, fine sermon
lzer and able preacher. During his
several visits to Wheeling he has made
many friends, who viii again be glad
to take his hand and hear his voice.