The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, 1868-12-11
Wrif aus Dutttur.

ling, refusal acts as an anti-dote.
- The last notes of the swan are
sweetest, and the bites fthe last mus
quitoes deepest.
- $50 far, so good" as the boy said
when he had finished the first pot of his
mothers jam.
- A poor, thoughtless old gentle
man sat down the other day on the spur
ofthe moment. His screams were fright
ful.
-"The Augean Stable"i is the head
ing of an article in the Chicago Trib-
une. 1t would do very well as the til
tic of that paper.
I'll can't undertake wife, to graft
fy all of yonr whims; it would be as
much as my life is worth" ssOh, sir,
that is nothing" she replied.
- A New Jersey editor, referring
to the burning of the State prison, re-
gretfully remarks that, 'sbe it ever so
homely there is no place like home."
= Why does the praising of pretty
women make other women tired and
sleepy
Because it's laudin' en-.
- An Irish magistrate censuring
some boys for lettering in the street said
"lf everybody were to stand in the
streets, how could anybody get by"
- 1t is said as the twig is bent the
trees inclined. Some of the young Ia
dies about town will grow queeriy if
the Grecian bend style prevails very
long.
- Senator Sumner says that cit is
sweet to die for ones country" 1t
seems a pity, that in his case, the sweet
ness of the thing should remain so long
unenjoyed by himself AID the coult-
try.
- The Atlanta New Era, a Radi-
cal organ, says that ave have peace
that peace which passeth all understan-
ding" We rather think that we have
that kind of peace and 10 other.
= A thief being caught by the pro-
prietor on the top of the garden wall,
was asked, somewhat peremtorIly,
where he was going? To which uues-
tion he replied with admirable discre-
ton, "Back again."
- A'lisping bashful youth went to
see his gal one night, and being rath-
er hard run for matter of conversation,
laid to her after a long pause. ''Thal-
~ uiu ou Cfcl JHcst du OWL w nat
outhed big eyes they got, hains they
- A correspondent writes if we de-
sire iG, he will send us something to fill
up with. That's Just what we want
Suppose you commence now with
good roasting piece OF beefand barrel
o. flour.
"A farmer wholly in Hardscrab-
Bile, Botetourt county, says that, owing
to the drought and poor land together,
his grass was so shoit he had TO lather
it before he could NOW it, and when it
was dry, to rake it with a fine tooth
comb.
a Wisconsin paper declares that
q woodpecker, which measured two feet
four inches between the tips of his
wings, and nineteen and half inches
from the point of the beak to the tip of
the tail, was recently shot in that State
We would like to hear just once, such
woodpecker tapping on the hollow
beech tree.' The efforts of the drum
mer boy of Waterloo, would be as faint
echoes compared with that tattoo.
- 1t is related of a certain minister
of Maine, who was noted for his long
sermons with many divisions, that one
day when he was advancing among the
teens, he reached at length, kind of
resting place in his DISCOURSE, when. |
pausing to take breath, he asked the
question Sand what shall l say
more ?"
A voice from the congregation re-
sponded, "Say Amen ?"
- A matter of fact old gentleman |
in New England, whose wife was a |
thorough 'Destructionist.' was awak-
cned out of his sleep by his possessed |
rib one night when the ground was COW
cred with snow. last winter with the
words, "Husband, did you hear that
noise It's Gabriel a comingI it is the
sound of the chariot wheels - "Oh,
pshaw you old fool ~ Replied the
good old man. "Doyou s'pose Gabril's
coming on wheels IN such good sleigh
ing as this l tell you its not him
turn over and go TO sleep !"
- The next morning the Judge of
the police Court sent for me. | went
down and he received me cordially
said he had heard of the wonderful
things had accomplished by knocking
down five persons, and assaulting six
others, and was proud of me. l was
young man, and all that
Then he offered tost ''guilty or not
guilty ?' / responded in brief but ell
oquent speech, setting forth the impor-
lance of the occasion that had brought
us together. After the usual ceremo-
MES / was requested to lend the city
ten dollars.
- The following collequy took place
between New York census marshal,
and native of Germany
. sWho lives here 2"
HYaw."
"What's your name?"
"Sharmany on der Rhine"
"What's your fathers name?"
"Nlx fer SHAY"
sWhen did you arrive in Albany ?r
tMit steampoats.
SCOT any children?"
"Yaw-two barrels nit krout."
SHOW long have you been in this
house ?"
sTwo and der basement"
"Who owns this building?"
81 pay nothing, Hans pay der same
vice month";"
"Where did you live last year?"
GA cross der red store as you come up |
With the market in your right hand, be-
lind der pump what belongs to der
blacksmith shop"
VLASS .JARS.-Just received and
u for sale, 100 self-sealing Glass Jars for $
-uit, which i warrant q first rate article. I
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