The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1868-08-13

ereu VIII De ms reward for this selfsacrifce;
out OF which he ought to be able to save
lew pounds Tor future exigencies. Or if
he is so pleased with his new profession as
to be DESTROYS of Sinking HOLIDAYS he NAV
follow his fall from the ladder With an
accidental discharge of a pistol into the
fieshy part of his arm. For the pain of
this operation he should be paid hand
somely, and probably will. So he NAV
continue, living a jolly life only varied
by few of those casualties to which all
flesh is heir ar a.o. .ss lra ~
A list of persons who have been thus
remunerated for personal damage has been
published by the society of which we
speak. 1t is highly instructive. Indeed,
we have never previously seen an effort to
define the relative amount of compassion
(which, in the company's hands, turns into
Compensation due to sufferers by various
kinds of accidents The first in the list is
clergyman who fell down the stairs of a
cellar. Probably we was on pleasure bent,
and, being frugal enough to dispense with
the services of butler, was ,bout to
bring up some wine for the people he
had invited to dinner However that
may be, he fell and, having had the
forethought to pay this benevolent COM
pany three pounds, they were kind enough
to return him sixty pounds. Presently,
however, we find that q gentleman also
fell down stairs and got $1,000. We sus-
pect that this gentleman died, and that the
compensation could only benefit him when,
from another sphere, he looked down Cor
up) and saw his children enjoying the
fruits of his provident thoughtfulness
We are then told that a gentleman in
Weldon burnt himself when calamity res
cuing a lady from a fire. We should have
thought that such a deed would have
merited a large compensation, but the
company, probably considering that virtue
ought to be its own reward, only gave him
twelve pounds. A farmer in Hurst, we
learn, got a wound in the eye from pea
stick; and it was, perhaps, to solace him
for the ignominy of the wound that our
kindly company presented him with e160.
The next sufferer is surgeon, who, it APP
pears, was in a stable, and was kicked by
a horse. AS he received 81 900 by way of
compensation, and as this is the amount
paid if you die, we presume the
kick was too much for the I'M
happy surgeon. On his death bed,
however, he must have been solaced
by the knowledge that he would get e997
from the company-the premium he had
paid being So. Among the "accidents in
professional pursuits two surgeons ap-
pear, one of them having poisoned his
hand while dissecting, the other having
wounded his hand with lancet. But,
suppose "a surgeon was accidently to kill
his patient-and we have heard of such
cases-would the latter, suppose he had
paid his premium, get 81, 600? 1t is quite
clear that man runs much greater
chance of being sent out of the world
through the accidental blunder of sur
geon than by kick from horse The
company, besides, ought to make deduc-
ton in such cases as show objectionable
negligence on the part of the sufferer;
the man who puts himself within reach of
horses hind legs, without knowing the
temper of the animal, provokes the acct
dent for which he gets paid. With the
two surgeons there appears an archi-
tect, who went and knocked his head
against beam Why should he get e63
for his stupidity? Even granting that his
head was worth e63, the gratuitous nature
of the accident should have warranted the
company in deducting half of the
compensation. So with two persons
who were knocked down by an engine
The man who gets in the way Of rail
way engine must expect to be hurt at
least, the chances are SO much in favor of
the engine knocking him down, instead
of the engine being knocked off the rails
that in equity we should exonerate the in
dACC NC even NC us,
posed to refuse the application of the
farmer, at Turning, who was hurt through
the one barrel of a gun exploding while
he was loading the other. The man who
loads gun with the muZZle pointing to
him so that, in the event of a charge going
of, therei is even chance of his being shot,
ought, instead of receiving $500 compensa-
ton, to be compelled to pay $500 to the
nearest lunatic asylum. Then, as we have
already mentioned, if you were actually
killed, 1000 is paid to you as soyotiam
The persons out OF work who adopt this
means of making living must take care
get final $1,000 They ought to choose
safe accidents. To stand in the way of
train certainly insures an accident; but
the accident may be too serious. Tum-
bling from a horse is also perilous. The
safest accident we observe in this column
is the fall down stairs. You may practise
this fall until you know how many steps
it will take to dislocate your shoulder with
out breaking your neck Of course, the
experimenter must vary his line of business;
for, II he were to keep continually dislo-
eating his shoulder, the company might be-
come suspicious.
may be disposed to withhold their pence
from the Railway Passengers Assurance
Company on the ground that accidents
are so very uncertain. They are not. The
company insures the accident. Here are
the very words, set forth in large type in
the advertising columns of the Times
/" One penny insures e200 in a thirdclass
carriage. Twopence insures $500 in a
second-class carriage. Threepence insures
81, 900 in a firstcass carriage" Now the
company never gives compensation unless
when the accident occurs, SO that to insure
the compensation is to insure the accident.
The reader has nothing to fear, if he be-
heves the assertions of a company the
honor of which has never been called in
question. He has only to pay his three
pence, and step into first class carriage;
and both the accident and the 81 900, on the
word ofthe company, must follow. He will
not lose his threepence for nothing. We
suggest first-class carriage, because in a
general smash up it is better to have ones
head pitched against a stuffed cushion
than to have it knocked on a deal board
But, after all, it matters little whether you
are killed in a stuffed or in a bare carriage;
and it is only for your death that the com
pany pay the 81 600. Death in railway
carriage is, in many cases, to be preferred to
other forms of final exit herein described.
One man, we observe, was drowned by
the upsetting Of duck-punt while he was
out shooting. That means that he was suf-
located in mud. We should consider that
Fl 600 was meagre compensation for
such a death. Nor was the case much
better with the commercial traveller in
who was shot with a re-
voHer by clerk" If England were