The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-02-28
SPARE LINES.

Why il buicher's cart like his boots'
Because he eaniss his calves there.
An instrument Of capital torure-s hat
rack. -
A man Of parts-a man part knavs and
part fool.
The ray thar always lights up a woman 8
dispair-rai.meut.
ia small boy 10 a lad, big boy must be
ladder.
The worm that never dies. but makes
Others die-the worm OF the still.
A man OF General misunderstanding
Andrew johnson.
Can q Catholic he said to "sleep the
sleep that knows no sOking3'
Men Of genius arc often eclipsed in soci.
ETY. by men who talk gay nothings.
Why are good husbands like dough-
Women need theu.
Good resolutions are like faintiug ladies'
they want to he carried out
What pan OF ship 10 like famer'
The tiller.
Why should a fellow squeeze lemon
unless he wants punch?
Those who pine in youth can never look
spruce in old age.
What is the first thing a young lady
looks for in church, Tho hims.
A company formed for the production
tar may with propriety DO called target
company.
is il not singular that army surgeons
should wait until after the battle to take up
arms?
Advice to parties in doubt whether to
buy or hire honse-Oftwo evil choose
the leased.
what, inquired scl,oolmss,er, els
the plural ofpsnny ?" ~rwopcnce !" shout
ed the sharpcst in the class.
What liquor is most like Tor should be
put in) sherry eobbler' Mononsa.hesisr,
Of course.
Keep out Of had company, for tho chance
is tina, when tho devil fires iRio the flock
he will hit somebody.
Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like
thicvesy Because they ought To bc taken
up.
am going To draw this beau into knot.
as the young Indy said when standing at
the hymcnial altar.
A INN in our State who attempted to
hug beautiful woman, Miss Lemon, has
sued her for striking him in the eye.
An exchange speaks Of the song Of Mi
Ram as the first hymn on record. Veal
ways supposed thar Adam was tho first
hin,-an Evening him.
saw! How du,h you like my moustachc
Miss Laura?'' lisped dandy to a merry
girl. 40. very much. Il looks like the
fur on the hack Of caterpillar.
.'Sam why am lawyers like dc fishes ?
I don't NEEDLE with do subec, Pomp.
Why don't you zee nigga, because dey am
% full oh debate.
All. Sambo said singing master to his
slave, Il am going long, long journey
"Neyer mind, Massa," said the negro, con-
solingly, il am all the way down hill.
A paper out west refuses to believe that
General Grant is candidate for the Presi-
dency, because nobody has begun abusing
his wife,
One Of our exchanges praises an egg
which il says. "wss laid on our table by the
Rev. Mr.. Smith," Mr.. Smith seems to be
q layman as well as a minister.
There Is no spo, Of moral dirt that pile
Of greenbacks will not cover, and there is
no pool so foul that some men will not
dive into il. if there is money at the bot
tom.
aGentlemen" said the clerk ola certain
hotel to his guests at eleven o'clock, II
don't know whether you have talked enough
OF not. but as for myself; am agoius to
smut up.
Heinrich Helm said women always wrote
with one eye on their Iagc and tho other
on some man, except the Countess OF Hahn
Hahn, who had but one eye. That. no
doubt. was on the man.
The woman who tails to reform q man
or,he habit Of drinking while engaged to
him, viii have mighty task to do 50 after
marriage. Think Of this. young wourn.
Better remain single than marry . man
that loves liquor.
Two oil maids. conversing with n young
lady, who was about To DO married, one
exclaimed pctulanily, we'll IL you do L, you
will have to bear all tho little responsible
ties" "Ccrtainly, expect towns the
signifcan, reply.
There is jolly shoemaker in Vermont
who a,lyertises himself rs "Shocnaker 10
Ills Honor, the Lori Mayor oiVergenncs.'
This reminds AN exchange Of the man IN
London whose sign r-uds; ''Brccches max
or to the Queen"