The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1868-05-08
RoIIs-..A / Icolapaaitiau.n %

.
HoIIs--.sA Colapasitisn., -.
|es a bon Is generally very small at
first, and o fellow hardly notices il,
but in Q. few days il gets to be the
biggest of the two, and the chap that
has It is Of very little account in COM
paSison with his boil, which then
shes him" Boils appear mystsri-
ousiy upon various portions OF the
human body, coming when and where
'fhey darn please, /" and often in very
'inoonvenient places. Sometimes q
solitary boil is the sum total OF aflic-
tion, but frequently there is rub
ishin' lot of 'em" to help the first
zone. If q boil comes anywhere on a
person, that person always wishes it
had come somewhere else, although
it would puzzle him to say just
where.
s Some persons call them dam
boils,," but such persons are addicted
to profanity-the proper name is
boil. II q chap has boil he gene
rally gets good deal of sympathy
from others-''in horn" Whoever
asks him what ails him, laughs at
him for his pains to answer, while
many unfeeling persons make game
Of him, OF of his misfortune, or boil.
It is very wicked to make sport of
persons with boils; they cannot help
it, and often feel very badly about
it. Physicians don't give boil pa
tients much satisfaction as general
thing, although young physicians just
beginning to practice are fond of try
ing their lancets on them. Boils are
said to be ''healthy," and, Judging
from the way they take hold, and
hang on, and ache, and burn, and
grow, and raise Cain generally, there
is no doubt that they are healthy and
have good constitutions. They are
generally very lively and playful at
night, and it is very funny to see q
chap with good large one prospect
ing around his couch for place
where. his boil will fit in without
hurting" Boils tend to purify the
blood, strengthen the system, calm
the nerves, restrain the profanity,
tranquilize the spirits, improve the
temper. and beautify the appearance.
They are good things for married
men who spend their evenings away
from home, as they give them an op-
portunity TO rest their night-keys and
get acquainted with their families.
1t is said that boils save the patient
ga fit of Sickness" but if the sick
ness is not the best to have, it must
be an alfred mean thing. It is also
said that person is better after he
has had them, and there is no doubt
that one feels much better after hav-
ing got rid of them. Many distin-
guished persons have enjoyed these
harbingers of health. Job took the
first premium at the county fair for
having more achers under cultivation
than any other person. Shakespeare
had them, and meant boils when he
said, "One woe doth tread upon an
others heels, so fast they follow"
There are great many remedies
for boils, most of which are we'll
worth trying, because, if they don't
do any good, they don't hurt the
boils. If chap goes down the
street with boil, every man he
meets will tell him of n ''good thing"
for it; among which are: Shoemakers'
Wax, Mrs. Winslow's Syrup, Tri1,
Spaulding's Glue, Charlotte Ruche,
Gum Drops, Waterproof Blacking,
Nisht-Blooming Cereus, Chloroform,
Kissengen, &C., &c.
THE END.
The general result of our observa-
tions on boils for the past two weeks,
is, the best place to have boil is
upon somebody else's neck.