davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
Everyday Philosophy.

Hans Patrick O'Conner, formerly
known by the nom de plume of 'Beau
Hackett," contributed the following
to the st. Louis Home Journal:-
Never insure your life for the ben.
eft of your wife for greater sum
than ten thousand dollars. A widow
with more money than that is dan
gerous legacy to leave posterity.
The game of life is very much
like a game of cards. Time deals,
death cuts, and everybody is waiting
for the last trump.
think men drink in crowds be-
cause they are afraid to drink by
themselves. 1t requires consldera-
BILE courage to stand up alone and
pour glass of whiskey down your
throat.
There are some inconsistencies in
this world that l don't exactly under
stand. Everybody is anxious to
get to Heaven, but nobody is in a
hurry about it.
If man is without enemies l
would not give ten cents for his
friends. The man who can please
everybody hasn't got sense enough
to displease anybody.
When an acquaintance says, How
are your and pushes by you without
waiting for reply, 1 wouldn't, if /
were in your place, follow him more
than a mile to tell him you were
well.
A convenient way of testing the
affections of your intended is to
marry another woman. If she don't
love you, you learn it at once.
The song, Dear Mother, I've come
home to die,' always struck me as
happy illustration of American as
surance. Our young people go
abroad to spend the hard earnings
of the old folks, and, when they are
dead broke, return home to be buried
at the expense of their impoverished
parents.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

CoMPosITIoN.-The following COM
position was recently read in a neigh
boring school. We give it ver6dtim:
'Dogs is usfeller as cats. Mice is
afeerd of cats They bite 'em. Dogs
foller boys and catches hog by the
ear. Hogs rarely bite! Sheep bite
people. People eat hogs but not the
Jews, as they and other animals that
dosn't chew the cud isn't clean ones.
Dogs sometimes git hit with boot
Jacks for barking Of mites. Sleepy
people git mad and throw at en-
Dogs is the best animal for man; they
do more for man than crowned hogs
er koons or getes. Gotes SMELL
The end"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23


A SINGULAR Casa MAN STRUCK
DUMB ON THE CARs.-A gentleman
who resides in Wilkes county, and
was returning home from Augusta on
Thursday last, entirely lost the pow
er of speech soon after the train left
Augusta. We heard him attempting
to talk soon after he got on the train,
and IN few moments he could not
articulate a word. He was in the
possession of all other faculties, but
his lips were literally sealed. His
distress was very touching and he
wrote replies to questions addressed
him by the passengers, and tried to
bear UP under the terrible visitation.
He said that he had been on spree.
He hoped it was only a species OF
delirum, and would wear off with rest
and sleep. He said he had once
been partially deprived of his speech
before for short time in Virginia.
His case attracted much attention
among the passengers, several OF
whom knew him, and were satisfied
that he was not using deception
His case was most forcible illus
tration of the summary and terrible
manner in which nature sometimes
Furnishes violation of her laws
Athens Banner.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
Tricks of a Juggler,

The far-famed Robert Heller. who
is now delighting crowds by his
weird performances, cannot be salts
fed with his legitimate triumphs be-
fore an audience, but occasionally
does neat thing for his own amuse-
ment, very much to the surprise of
those who happen to be present. On
Saturday last, while passing an itinr
Grant vender of cheap provisions,
Mr.. Heller suddenly paused and in
quired:
GLOW do you sell eggs, auntie9"
"Dem eggs" was the response;
''dey am picayune a piece-fresh,
too, de las one of 'em; billed 'em N.Y.
self and know dey's fus rate.''
"Well, I'll try them," said the ma
gician as he laid down bit of frac-
tional currency. Shave you pepper
and salt?"
'Yes sir, dere dey is," said the sa-
ble saleswoman, watching her Gus
toner with intense interest.
Leisurely drawing out a neat lit
tie pen-knife, Mr.. Heller proceeded
very quietly to cut the egg exactly in
half, when suddenly bright, new
twenty-five cent piece was discovered
lying imbedded in the yolk,- appa-
rently as bright as when it came from
the mint. Very coolly the great
magician transferred the coin to his
pocket, and taking up another egg
inquired:
Sand how much do you ask for
this egg?"
''De Lord bress my soul. Dat
egg! De fac am, boss, dis egg is
worth dime, shuah."
"All right" was the response;
''here is the dime; now give me the
egg"
Separating it with an exact precis-
ion that the colored lady watched
eagerly, a quarter eagle was most
carefully picked out of the center of
the egg, and placed in the vest pock-
ct OF the operator. as before. The
old woman was thunderstruck, as
well she might have been, and her
customer had to ask her price for
the third egg two or three times be-
fore he could obtain reply.
''Dar's no use talkin', mars'r"
said the bewildered old darkey; 81
can't let you hab dat ar egg, nohow,
for less dan quarter; l declare to
de Lord l can't"
"Very good" said Heller, whose
imperturbable features were as sol
emn as an undertaker's "there is
your quarter and here is the egg
All right"
AS he opened the last egg, brace
of five dollar gold pieces were dis
covered snugly deposited in the very
heart of the yolk, and jingling them
merrily together in his little palm,
the savant eoelly remarked:
"Vsry good eggs, indeed. l Irath-
er like them; and while am about
it will buy dozen. What is the
price?"
'Price! pricer' screamed the as
tonished daughter of Ham. 'You
couldn't buy dem eggs, mars'r, for
all de money you's got! Ne, dat you
couldn't Use gwine to take dem
eggs all home, / is, and dat money in
dem eggs all b'longs to met does
dat. Couldn't sell no more of dem
eggs nohew."
Amid the roar of the spectators
the benighted African started to her
domicil to "smash dem eggs" but
with what success we are unable to
relate.-Mo6,le Tribune.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
w The Mentana Post says: can

E The Montana Post says: can
exploring party, which has been TO
the headwaters Of the Yellowstone
River, has just returned, and reports
seeing one of the greatest wonders
of the world. For eight days they
travelled through volcanic country,
emitting blue flames, and streams Oh
molten birthstone. The country was
smooth and rolling, with leng, level
nlains intervening. On the summit
of these rolling mounds were craters,
from four to eight feet in diameter,
and everywhere on the level plains
were smaller craters, from four to
six inches, from which streamed a
blaze and a constant whistling sound.
The hollow ground resounded be-
meath their feet as they travelled,
and every moment seemed as if ready
to break through. Not living thing
was seen in the. vicinity. The ex-
plorers gave it the significant appel
latlon of Hell. ,"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
fFor the Gallipolis Journal
ABRAHAM LINCOLN,

1t is a common practice with wri.
ters of our day, to wander away back
into the annals of the olden time, in
search of examples fit to be imi
tated by US. They are prone to re,
fer US to some hero whose fame is
recorded in the mustY volumes of the
forgotten past They overlook the
fact that a more pleasing and more
lasting impression can be made ON
the minds of their readers, by pre-
senting to them the lives and exam
pie of those who have trod the more
modern paths of honor and glory.
Would you set beacon light for
a poor but honest youth, whose heart
is sinking within him at the gloomy
prospect before, and the coldness of
the world around himp Let his
guide star be ABRAHAM LINCOLN, the
young 6ack,ooodsmaa.
Would you put check upon the
bold presumption of the petty Office
holder, who, unmindful of the pow
ers above HIM, and forgetful of his
own insigniicance, feels only his own
greatness and Importance? Compare
him with President Lincoln, who,
though holding the highest office in
the gift of the people, deemed 1t no
condescension, on his part, to come
down from his high estate to minister
to the wants of the widow and the
fatherless, or speak q cheering word
to the tired and dust-covered soldier:
for these and he were but co workers
in the one great object of his life;
the salvation of his country.
Would you cause the blush of
shame to mantle the cheek of the
dishonest politician? Point him to
the pure and patriotic statesman, hon
est Lincoln, who gave his life, sac
rifce, that his country might live;
That the nation should, under God,
have new birth of freedom, and
that government of the people, by
the people, for the people, should
not perish from the earth"
Would to God that Vice President
Johnson could have more fully ap-
preciated the excellencies of this
noblest of Gods noblemen; that he
had carried out the wise, prudent
policy of his illustrious predecessor,
whose place he is now so meanly
filling. Methinks that even his crime
hardened heart would be wrung
with shame and remorse, and his
bloated brain reel in the terror of dis
may, could he but see the onward
and upward path of peace and safe
ty, in which Lincoln was leading his
confiding charge, and the frowning
precipice over which he is now striv-
ing to hurl his nntive country. But
there is no chance for his repentance
now. He has gone too far now to
draw back, and retIrn to the safe
path again. Already he is topping
over into the yawning gulf of perdi-
ton. But thank God he takes only
his shame and follies as his company.
go, Shame! where is thy blush ?''
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

H We do not surpass everybody
in our convenience and comfort, after
all. The Chinese have wheel bar
row in common use which is an il-
provement on our barrow. The
wheel is in the middle. 1t is not un-
common to see a sail set on this
wagon, and if the wind is fair, they
can make six miles an hour easy
This is hint that the Yankees ought
to profit by.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

H A young lady in the northern
part of Wisconsin writes to coun-
ty superintendent of schools that she
thinks it 'her duty to teach q school
somewhare;;" and that, if he can "as-
sist her, to rite and let her no."
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
re A panth eist minister met DR.

R A panth eist minister met DR..
Emmons one day, and abruptly ask.
ed, "Mr. Emmens, how old are you?''
s'Sixty, sir; and how old are your
GAS old as the creation" was the an
swer, in a triumphant tone. "Then
you are of the same age with Adam
and Ever" "Certainly;I was IN tne
garden when they were" u nave
always heard that there was q .alru
person in the garden with them, re-
plied the Doctor. with great cooiness;
s.hut never knew it was you.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
GALLIPOLIs, OHIO, APRIL 2s, 1868
MIXED UP.


Eye wandered through the village, Tom
Along with Anna Lee,
To listen 10 the mocking bird.
In the cottage by the sea,
Reid's bay mare can't be beat.
While coming through the rye:
LET me kiss him for his mother.
SAYS the spider to the fly.
The colored girl and poor old Ned
Now swell our national song:
I'd offer thee this hand of mine
But take your time Miss Long.
I'm lonely since nav mot Ned
Susanna don't you crt
We're all nodding throu World.
Then root, hog or die.
Uark, hear an angefsing.
Ahi daddy. he's struck lie
We're coming, Father Abraham.
Along with Annie Lisle,
The song my mother used to sing,
The wearing of the green
The girl left behind me
To-day is sweet sixteen,
The nice young man and Fairy Belle
Are swinging in the lane
The captain with his whiskers
Has marrying on the brain.
We will rally round the nag, boys,
For Johnny stole the ham
Yankee Doodle, Hail Columbial
And don't care-a cent
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
The Democratic Penalty for Ed
uCatiOn.

The State Journal, with the best Of
intentions, doubtless, enters inte a
serious argument with the stolid
Democrats of the Legislature to con-
vince them of the injustice and i'm
policy ofretaining in Mr.. Rex'S bill to
preserve the purity of elections the
section which disfranchis syoung men
who are attending schools, semina-
ries, academies, colleges and univer
sites, or other institutions of learn
ing, unless they or their parents have
an actual residence in the places
where the schools are located.
This is N ere waste of words
Years ago, Mr.. Vallandigham declar-
ed our schools and colleges, our tele-
graphs, railroads, and other aids of
civilization, to be anti conservative,
anti democratic agencies. They are
abolitionized, and their Illuminating
influences are prejudicial to that
blind obedience and exaeting disci-
pline, without which Democracy can
not flourish. Mr.. Rex's bill Is mere
ly an application of Mr.. Vallandig-
hams logic. 1t ought to be entitled
a bill to discourage education and
promote wholesome ignorance
The whole tendency of Democratic
legislation, so far as this session of
the General Assembly is concerned,
is toward the Middle Ages, and
would have delighted the heart of the
old Virginia Governor, who thanked
God there was not newspaper pub
lished in his district.
Since the question was raised
early in the session, of the propriety
of disfranchising the students, we
have not for a moment doubted the
success of the measure if brought
forward in due form, and this has
been done by Senator Rex. The
House hesitates, but it will overcome
its sense of the meanness and in
Justice of the act after trial or two.
When it comes fairly to be under
stood that ignorance promotes De-
mocracy and increases the chances
of the return of ignoramuses TO the
Legislature, all scruples will vanish
and the bill go through without mod
ification, Ohio will thus be distin-
guished as the only State in which
education, beyond the three Rs, is
legally made an offense punishable
by disfranchisemen Gin Com.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

An old bachelor in New York of
fered young lady a pony for kiss.
She gave him the kiss; he refused
her the pony; she sued him; he plead
ed "no considerations" the court de-
cided that . kiss was legal consid-
Grafton, and made him "pcny ever. "
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

~ Mrs. Harry Thomas, lady OF
ST. Louis, walked ninety-twe miles
in twenty three hours and half, end
ing at half past II on Tuesday. She
started to walk one hundred miles in
twenty four hours, but failed, as
above. She will make another trial.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

"Nothing can be done well
that is done in hurry" oracularly
declared a certain pompous peliti-
clan in New York one day lately. on
the steps of the City Hall. "How
about catching feasl" asked a wag,
at his elbow. The politician was
foored.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

N 81 hope, my little daughter"
l said one morning, "that you will be
able to control your little temper to-
day." eyes mamma; and / hope
You will be able to control your big
temper
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

E "Mynheer, do you know what
for we call our boy Hans?"
"Do not, really"
"Well, / tell you. Der reason we
call our boy Hans, dat ish his name"
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

w"All maidens are very good"
says one moralist; ''but where do the
bad wives come from?" The bad
wives are the maidens turned sour.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

ET The right man in the right
place--a husband at home in the
evening.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23
Family Grocery,
PROVISION STORE.
w M. Killing,

SUCCESSOR TO VIM. H. BILLINGS,)
Corner OF THIRD and GRAPE STREETS,
Opposite the "NArIoNAL HOTEL
HAVE now on hand, large and well Sc
Ill lected stock of
FAMILY GROCERIES,
Foreign and Domestic Fruits, Ground
Spices, (warranted pure,) New Orleans,
Crushed, Granulated, Coffee, and Pulverized
Sugars, Surups, n. o. Molasses, Mackerel and
Salt Fish, Rio and Old Government Java
Coffee.
Having purchased my stock for cash, ] am
enabled to sell for cash, both wholesale and
retail as low as any other house.
By strict attention to business. and small
profits, hope to merit & share of public pat
rcnage.
ALL KINDS OF COUNTRY PRODUCE
Wanted, for which the highest market price
be paid.
TM. Killing.
Nov Z, 1867--tf
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1868-04-23

E Powderi is 3 nice thing--in a
horn.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05

HAMPDEN, Penobscot Co.. Me.
Having been informed by Mr.. Temple. of this Mace.
for Tobacco, send fifty cents for box to test it.
aa HlNCKLY EMERY.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05
SURE CURE FOR
Q a II A RR HI

A SURE CURE FOR
Q A II A RR III .
DEMERITTs
North American Catarrh Kennedy
Boston, June 10, 1868.
Messrs d. j. Demeritt & Co-Gents: For the last
fifteen years was afflicted with Cronic Catarrh.
have used many Catarrh remedies but obtained no
Remedy. When commenced using it had nearly
lost my voice. less than two packages completely
stored it to me again, can be vouched for by the
many who knew me- the remedy having the desired
effect would say TO all who troubled with this
disease, try the North American Catarrh Remedy
and you will be satisfied with the result.
N. S. LILLE,
Employed tor 16 years by the American Express Co,
Charlestown Mass, 1867.
d. j. Demeritt, Dear Sir: i cannot refrain from
an exp ession of the greatest gratitude YOU; in
deed have no lang mage express the great bene-
tit have received from your North American reme-
dy. For ten yea was afflicted with chronic Ca
tarrh, gradually growing worse, until had almost
become a burden to myselfand those around me. 1
was induced by friend to try your remedy; have
used not quite one package, and TO my astonish-
ment am entirely cured. saw to those attic ed
with CatarIh, try IT. and you will be cured OF that
annoying disease.
Mis-. MARY BAKER, 147 Warren st.
These test monials are sample OF what we are
and permanent relief, as can be attested by thous
ands who have used it. Sold by all druggists. Price
SLIPS package.
u. j. DEMERITT & CO., Projectors.
Tested tree at their office, III Hanover St, Boston
send for Circular. Wholesale Agents in Boston
G. G. Goodwin & Co. E. L. Stanwood g. 90, Whole
sale Drug gists, At and 40 Middle st. Sole Agents for
Portland, Me. aug11eod3m
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05
Portland & Kennebec R. R.

CMzl Passenger Trains leave Portland at
@5S[@SSP. M. daily for all stations on this line,
and for Lewiston, Pennington and Stations on The
AndrOscoggin Road; also lot Bangor and inteIme-
diate stations on Maine Central road. This train
connects with trains from Boston leaving 80 A. NJ.
Leave Portland daily at SIS NJ for Bath Angus
Ia anu intermediate stations, connecting with train
leaving Boston 800 M,
Passenger trans are due at Portland daily at 30
M, and 205 M; Freight trains at $50 and $50
PM.
Fare as low by this route to Lewiston wateryille.
kendalls Mills and Bangor as by the Maine Central
road, and tickets purchased in Boston tor Maine
Central Stations are good for passage on this line
Passengers from Bangor, Newport, &c., will pur-
chase tickets to Kendalls Mills only and after TAX
ing the cars this road the Conductor will fur
nsh tickets and make the tare the same through TO
Portland or Boston as via the Name Central load.
Stages for Rockand connect at Bath; and tor Bel
fast at Augusta, leaving daily arrival train from
Boston, leaving at 30 A. M; and TOR SoDon Ansor
Norridgewock, Athens and Moose Head Lake at
Skowhegan, and for China, East and North Vassal :
bore at Vassaboro'; for Unity ct Kendalls Mills.
and for Canaan at Pishon's Ferry.
w HATCH, SuPertntendent.
Augusta, May 80, 1868. juneI-dtf
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05

hat remedies handed out for general should have
their efficacy established by well tested experience in
the hands of regularly educated ply sican, whose
preparatory studies tit him for all the duties he mus
fulhl yet the country is flooded with poor nosrum
snd cure-as, purportng to be the best in the world
which are not only useless, but always injurious.
Tue unfortunate should be PARTICULAR in selecting
his physician, as 1t is lamentabe yet mcontrovert-
Bile fact, that many syphilirc patients are made mis-
cradle with ruined constitutions by matreatment
from inexperienced physicians in general practice
Fisa point generally conceded by the best syp0grs
oilers, that the study and management of these come
would be competent and successful in their treat
ment and cure. The inexperienced general pract;-
TONER, having neither opportunity nor time to maF-
himself acquainted with their pathology, common
pursues one system OF treatment in most cases max
Ing an ndiscrmnate of that antiqusted and dan
ger0us weapon, the Mercury.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05
City of Portland.

WHEREAS, W. H. Weeks and Others have
wv petitioned the City Council to lay out new
Street or PublicWay in said city,-begnning at the
Eastern Promenade and running parallel with Yes
per Street; and whereas said petition referred by
the City Council, June 8th, 1858, to the undersigned
for them to consider and act upon, therefore
Notice hereby given to all parties interested thai
the Joint Standing Committee of the City Council
on laying out new streets, will meet to hear the par
ties and view the proposed way the seventh
day of September 1868, at five O'Clock in the after
noon at the Eastern Promenade, near Vesper Street
and will then and there proceed to determine and
adiudge whether the public convenience requires said
street way to be laid out.
Given under our hands on this twenty eighth day
of August A. D., 1868.
III. JACOB MCCLELLAN, lcr,.. ~
ALBERT WARWICK ooihhii'eee oh
EZRA CARTER, r;,. 49,.
j f. LEAVITT, 1"yi"s ou'
JAMES MOVES. No. c.uoo.,
zlEf GEO. H. CHADWICK, ! 1seH o'iee'0'
August %. dtd
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1868-09-05
M1ddIo.Agcd Men,

There are many men of the age Of thirty who are
troubled with too frequent excavations from the bad
dsr, often accompanied by q slight smarting or burr
Ing sensation, and weakening the system In mar =
ner the patient cannot account for. On examining
the urinary deposits rOpy sediment will often Re
FUND, and sometimes small particles of al
buEen will appear, or the color will be of thin milk
ish hue, again CHANGING to dark and turbid appear
ance. There are many men who die of this difficulty
ignorant of the cause, which Is the
SECOND STAGE OF SEMINAL WEAKNESS.
can warrant q perfect cure in such cases, and 9
full and healthy restoration of the urinary organs
Persons who cannot personally consult the Dr.
can do so by writing, In plain manner, descrip-
ton of their diseases, and the appropriate remedies
will be forwarded Immediately.
All correspondence strictly confidential, and viii
be returned, If desired.
Address: DIR. j. B. HUGHES,
No. ID Preble Street,
Next door to the Preble House, Portland, Ne.
Send q Ctoynp 6or Ciro,,lor