The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1868-10-06
!! 4 D VI s..

Winged time Fly-timc
Drawing rooms-A Apartments of a dentist
An auctoncer's cpitaph--" Gone"
There are 500 newspapers in New York state,
The state Of Michigan has lGi Congrega-
tional churches.
There arc PIG agricultural societies in the
province of Ontario, Canada.
Good men to attend auctions Men whose
faces are forbid ling
The Canadian recruits in the papal army are
deserting.
Femae cricheters are the latest dcyclopement
OF woman's rights III England.
Our nearest of kin Mosquitoes. They are
our blood relations
AIS well that ends we'll. '-That's wbv
girls with small feet are counted pretty.
Brownlow is afIectionatcly alluded to by n
Memphis paper as our gubernatorial hell cat :"
A fellow IN Leipzig has got three years i'm
Pilsohmcht Tor encouraging l4l women to think
he intended o marry them
Isn't it remarkable that railway troirs can
run over so many cepers without waking any
Of them?
Dull men arc to be closely studied Their
qualities, ike pearls, lie out of sight and must
be diyed for.
1t was an old bachelor who said, eff YOU
meet young lady who is not very shy, you
had better be II little shy yourself'
There is fenian revival in PHILADELPHIA.
with meetings every night, and the usual omi-
nous hints that som thing terrible is going to
happen
A western editor, in resp ,nse to a subscriber
who grumblel that his paper was intoleraby
damp, says " That IS because there is so much
due on 1t
Great Britain has S,2S9 miles Of railroad .
Canada has II ,l40 miles. including that in
course of constructions; and the United states
will have, at the end of this year, 40 900 miles.
A minister was thrown from horse few
days since in Boston, and that is what the To-
cal paper calls spreading the gospel in a bo-
nighted region.
dominic, examining his scholars on the
Bible lesson, asked q young urchin the aues
tion, Who was JessieY' Without hesitation
the boy answered, The flower of Dumblane
SIR"
woman was giving evidence in certain
case, when she was asked by the lawyer, "Was
the yonng woman virtuous previous to this af-
fair p Virtuous?1 eyes; was she chaste Yn
" Chaste? she was chaste about quarter of n
mile"
young lady who teaches music in an aca-
deny in Western New York, sent On order to
a publisher recently, in which she had spelled
The words very poorly. She apologizod by add
ing postscript as follows =" You must eks-
kews the letter, as pla hi noat, but spell bi
ear"
The following is SOames Jenkynss cpitaph
on johnson
" Here lies Sam Johnson-reader have n care,
Iread lightly, least you wake n sleeping bear;
religious, moral, generous, and humane
de was, but selt-suffcient, proud and vain:
Fond OF and overbearing in dispute,
A Christian and q scholar-but a brute"
A complaint was made by gentleman that
he had been swindled by stock company
=" Why did you place any faith in the promise
OF receiving fifty per cent per annum for YOUR
money! asked the judge. 81 didn't believe
II, SAID the witness, "but expected there
would be time enough to find some ono VIII
did," This is the history of stock swindlinr in
very few lines. '''
young clergyman, in a highly elaborate
sermon which he preached, said several times
" The commentators do not agree with me
here Next morning poor woman came to
see him with something in her apron. She said
her husband had heard his sermon, and thought
II very fine one, and as he said the com mon
taferS did not not agree with him, he had sent
him some Of the best kidneys.