The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1868-01-02
Nice Young Man.

Everybody knows the nice young
man; everybody has seen him. lie Is
that mild and pleasing pcr-on WI o says
"Oh, yes" and "Ah, indeed" with SO
much vivacity; who is always the llrsl
to hand around the ices at party who
knows all about all the weddings and
engagements and balls; who escorts
mama to her carriage and suffers her TO
converse at him so amiably. he sci
dom talks much, but he is so nice
Generally he is in the dry goods line,
and frequently amember of tne Young
Mems Christian Association. lie has
cen known to attempt to teach in sun
ay school, but the mental eNertion Is
commonly too severe His personai
appearance is not remarkable. He is
usually fair, with light hair and gentle
blue eyes. 1t is desirable that that he
should have mustachc, straw colore'
possible, and in size like an cxaggcr-
ated eyebrow. His dress must be SO
perfect as to leave, like himself, no def
mite impression on the mind except
one of extreme nicencss, and his back
hair should always be parted in an eX-
act line with the sean. Of his COLLAR
Brains in mo Grafton are not, rs we
have already intimated, an absolute ob-
lection, but their possession should be
carefully hidden. Ideas are fatal to his
supremacy. One Of the incest young
men we ever knew lost forever his
proud re-eminence from the fatal
commission of a thought But feelings
he may, indeed must, constantly eXhib-
it; it is indispensable that the real nice
young man should be as sensitive as
new author or public functionary ac-
cused Of peculation. He may play a
little on the piano, or, better still, on
;he guitar and occasionally sings to
his own accompaniment in an unobtru,
sive tenor; sometimes he paints nicely,
and often writes poc Try Of sentlmen-
tai nature, not fatigulngly intellectual,
and he dances-oh he dances divine
ly.
The nice young man of Boston is a
very different creature from the nice Of
New York, and the nice young man Of
Philadelphia bears not the remotest
likeness to either, or indeed to any
thing else in human semblance. The
nice young man of Boston, foreNample,
is sometimes a prig; the nice young
man ofNew York is oftener y snob !;
the nice young man Of Philadelphia is
usually, totus teres atque rotandaS, CT
pher; the curiosa telicitas Of nu.lity.-
Again, the nice young man of Boston
who has no brains is permitted to I'LL
the cavity which should hold them with
weak solution of equal parts Of En-
crson and Cant; the nice young man
of New York who has brains is requir-
ed to shroul their existence in the pro-
foundcst mystery; the nice young man
of Philadelphia never has brains. The
first admires nothing that he uuder-
stands, the second understands moth
inc that he admircs, the third under
stan Is nothing, and admircs only him
self and Philadelphia. And so on
Besides, there are numberlcss varieties
produced again by mere fluctuations il
feminine taste and in the fashion O.
nicencss. The nice young man OF
year ago may be rs different from his
representative Of o.day as last seasons
beaver from the prevailing tile Mis-;
Gigglesby's nice young man in no re
spect resembles Miss Sniggcrsby's
mammals is not the one with whom
Arabclla exchanged hearts and hair and
photographs ; the nice young man oI
Betty, the houscmaid, is not the object
of her mistress devotion. The nice.
ness in all these cases is relative, an ar.
bitrary quality reflected rather than &C,
tual and subject to optical dclusion.-
But each is in his own circle to al! in
tents and purposes nice young man
The end and scope Of the young
mans existence is not so easy to de
fine. The poet tells us that thing oI
..bcauty'is joy forever and the nice
young man is always IL thing of beauty
tn. too, his fair worshippers proha.
bly, find him useful He is always 81
obliging, so willing to carry parcels
so ready to escort one to opera or bail
to make up set, or hold worstcd, oi
take dear Aunt Jane down to supper
so eager, to do him justice for any scr.
vice where eagerness does not need tc
be supplemented by intellect. And as
these are things which somebody mus'
do. the nice young man has his place
in the economy of creation. Pcrhap:
he is intended to show how small
quantity of brains is necessary for hn
man existence. We have sometimes
thought his mission was 20 preserv'
one from marrying that nice girl wh'
is his counterpart, whom everybody
falls in love with, and, being sooner oi
later cut out by the nice young man
l,lesses his stars forever after. On th'
whole, we think il most probable tha
Aha la3ta,, /. the ansiun Of heaven in hi