Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-05-09
From Petsrson's Magasiae.
 MIR. MOUNTERvILLE.
BY MAY CARLETON.

Mir. Mounterville, looking severely at Sam, who, gazing back at us, had spilled the mackerel over the snow, ''and I've about made up my mind to try it. I haven't had much time all along, up to the present, to reflect on such light matters; but I'm pretty comfortably off in the world now. Got nice house, and everything fixed up in pretty good style, and all l want to top off with is wife. I ain't SC young as I've been, and no more are you, Miss Thompson, and I think we couldn't do better. Now, what do you say? I want wife, and you want a husband, so suppose we clinch bar gain? I don't believe you can dc better."
 Good heaven! Did ever mortal maiden hear such a proposall The coarse, nasty wretchl But thought of the white mansion, and the horse and carriage, and servants, and swal- lowed my wrath.
 "Oh! Mir. Mounterville, this is so- so suddenl" stammered, and then l dropped like hollyhock on the stem, and was silent.
 Sudden, is 1t ?n said Mr. Mounter- vile, taking pinch of snuff; why l thought I'd been limiting at it this some time in. groceries gratis, thought.) But never mind tho sud denness, Miss Lucinda, it's out now, and let us have your answer-Yes, or no.
 This was an upright and downright way of putting things with a ven geance! With low-lived longing in my ten fnger-nails to scratch his odi- 'ous eyes out, stammered and dropped my head.
 q hardly know what to say, Mr. Mounterville one feels--feels so----" and there l came to dead lock.
 "Good gracious!" cried NJ. Mounter- vile, wildly, "can't you say something Yes, or no, that's easy enough, I'm sure."
 "Yes, then," 1 returned, goaded to desperation; If ma don't object"
 "Oh! she won't ob1cct; she knows which side of her breads buttered I'll go in and speak to her-nothing like striking whilst the irons hot. And here we are. Sam, I've kept my eye on you all along, and I'll trounce you within an inch of your life when I get back. Be off!"
 Of scuttled sam in mortal alarm, and enter Lucinda, followed by Mir. Mounterville.
 Ma was in the parlor, darning stock ings; and she got up and shook hands with my cofhpanion with motherly vim.
 ''So happy to see you, Mir. Mounter- ville, such while since you've been here! Take the rocking-chair, do. And how well yonf'e looking; dear me! growing younger every day isn't he, Lucinda!"
 "Thanky, num- responded MT. Mounterville, dropping into the Bos- ton rocker, and making it creak in every pore; ''so man ought when he's going to be married"
 "Going to be married!' with little scream. ".Tusi hees..r that, Lucinda Y
 '.She has heard it, mum; l asked her coming along-that's why I made Sam fetch the molasses-and she's said yes; and all that's wanting's your con- sent--and that won't be wanting long, I reckon"
 My ardent wooer snorted and took another pinch of snuff. Ma put hei handkerchief to her eyes and snifllcd and I-I sat staring at the fire, and pulling the fringe frantically out ol my shawl.
 "I'm suie,' ma sobbed at last, fits 8 trial, and you'll overlook mothers feelings, MT. Mounterville, though mol being mother yourself, yon can't bt expected to understand. l don't set how shall ever get on without her and you'll have treasure money can' buy, though say it that hadn't ough to, and-Lucinda, my love-" with { sudden gush, kiss me!'
 kissed ma, and then ma went ovel and kissed Mir. Mounterville with { second gush. Mir. Mounterville snort ed again, and took some more snuff.
 "That means yes, don't it? Ther we've clinchcd the bargsin, I suppose Miss Lucinda?'
 T suppose SO" rather sulkily.
 Thereupon Mir. Mounterville got uT and shook my hand as if it had been the village pump, and shook hands with ma; and ma, in gay and sprightly manner, tripped out of tho room and returned presently with . bottle of blackberry wine and some slices of sponge-cake. This innocuon' collation. being partaken of, and Mir Mounterville's spirits rising with it, ht proposed the first of April for hi wedding-day.
 "April Fool's-day, you know" with a chuckle, "so kind of appropriate, yor know. Let's be married April Fools day, Miss Lueinda?"
 If could have shied the plate O sponge-cake at his head, as he sat there what an inexpressible relief it would have been to my overcharged heart But only "grinned horribly ghastl, smile,' and said it should be whenevel he wished.
 So the wedding-day being fixed, ant