Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-10-31


working in basement on Commercial street
near Sansome, San Francisco. took a dose of
laudanum lately, with view to ending her
earthly troubles. She was relieved.-Ez.
Relieved of whats Her troubles or the
laudanum.
COULDN'T THINK OF IT.-"IIave l
not offered you every advautage?" said
doting father to his son. ooh, yes,"
replied the youth, ''but / could not
think Of taking advantage Of my own
father"
The San Luis Obispo Pioneer says:
can OK teamster named Robert Lewis
was badly bitten about the face and
hands on Sunday night last while cam
ped in the Santa Margarita mountains,
by skunk, which attacked him while
asleep.
SMART SCHOLAR -Teacher-"Com
here, you young scamp and get sound
spanking" Scholar-"You haint got
no right to spank me, and the copy you
set sez so." Teacher-'I should like
to hear you read that copy" Scholar
(reads)-''Let all the ends thou aimest
at be thy country's."
MoRRIssEY.-John Morrissey has
published card in the New York Sun,
in which he says: 81 intended to vote
the regular Democratic ticket But
betting is matter Of business. A man
risks his money on his Judgment, and
in my Judgment Grant will be elected,
and for this rea on | bet my money on
him."
POLITE BoYs.-We hear of a very
polite and impressive gentleman who
said to youth in the street, "Boy,
may I inquire where Robinson's dru.
store is ?" "Certainly sir" said the
boy, very respectfully. well sir, -
said the gentleman after waiting a while,
"where is it ?" 81 have not the least
idea, yer HONOR said the urchin
There was another boy who was acosted
by a middle-aged lady with, "Boy l want
to 90 to Davis street" "Well, ma am"
said the urchin, "why don't you go there,
then,"
A Good Joke on the Boston Doctors.
A Boston correspondent gives a
rather uncomplimeutary mention of OBJ
sterical scientists at the "Hub:"
Our medical savans have recently
been hoaxed IN most incredible manner
by an old maiden teacher of Kentucky,
who came here in i'll health, and was
pronounced by the surgeons of the hes
pitals and others to be afflicted with
an ovarian tumor. She was given up
as incurable, and last week gave birth.
at her home to a fine girl. What the
Doctors think of the disappearance Of
their tumors has not transpired, but in
spite of the utmost endeavors to keep it
a secret the joke has leaked out and
will not soon subSide.
For IRIsHMEN.-An indignant Irishman
of Cleveland, David Barry. publishes card
in the Leader, of which the annexed is the
closing paragraph:
But drunk or sober, Joking or in earnest,
Frank Blair will find out to his cost that the
st. Louis "Finnegan" speech will prove the
sorest thorn in his side when the final returns
come to be footed up. As an Irishman
declare that l would as soon vote for tha,
arch-fcnd, Jeff Davis. or Benjamin Disraeli
of England, as for man who could so heart
lessly trifle with the most cherished feelings
of our race; and, gentlemen. will go still
further and say that the Irishman who can
tamely swallow down such an insult to his
country and her heroic efforts to be free
without resenting it at the ballot box next
November, is destitute of public spirit. deai
to the claims and sufferings of motberland
and is anything but an honor to the proud
defiant, sensitive old race from whence hi
sprung.