Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1868-03-26

NO. 13.
arrived here in the cars That won't do-a man
ought never to call himself reporter. Start a.
gain.
Your especial correspondent reached this beau
tiful and aourishing mountain city (now I'm do
ing Nv it) in the magnificent, handsomely embel-
lshed and rapidly rolling cars Of the Orange and
Alexandria Railway. Railway is better than
railroad English seldom used in thiscoun-
try.
Hot whiskey punch is mighty good mighty
send for more-fnish this internal letter and draw
on Pollard for $50. I'm out
All this pitcher is better than t'other. Wish
to gracious this table would keep still
Lynchburg is pleasantly situated at the confiu-
ence of Tom and Jerry, with thetol bridge leading
into Amherst, which is on the top of several hills.
The Virginia and Tennessee Railroad depotis hard
by, and is a noble structure, reminding the Euro
pean traveller of the Ralto at Venice or the Egyp-
tan pyramids. A creek called the Blackwater
flows at the foot Of the city, (got mind to call it
a village and make the people mad, and.from the
color Of the creek I judge it to be egg'nogg made
of bad eggs. The James river runs under the
bridge, and is very watery. The town, from these
splendid streams, rises higher than kite, until it
is lost in the cupola of Courthouse which is so
elevated that it can hardly be seen with the naked
eye, and has an eight day clock in its imposing ta-
cade, which enables the people to tell the time Of
day by the aid Of twenty foot telescope. The
effect is sublime, and the scenery, viewed from the
Piedmont House. is the grandesti in America. 1t
is like looking up from the bottom of well, and
it is the d-dest steepest town outside Of h, the
highlands of Scotland and Abyssinia.
The chief attractions of the place are Lawson's,
Baily s, Hendenrich sand Peter Wren's 's-grandson
of Christopher Wren, the great architect a null
titude of factories, wherethe glorious High
lander and the immortal Lone Jackare made. Al
so, the water-works dam, built in imitation of the
Horse shoe Fall at Niagara, by some internal fool
or other. Also, there are some churches, built in
the highest style of art, and two newspapers edi-
ted with marked ability, dignity, vigor of research
and trenchancy of chronological pathological and ct
astrological power by Glass, and Burton, and Aick
Mcdonald, besides job Office of due proportions,
power, style and pathos by Schafter, (deuced good
fellow and another newspaper in the early uterus
of coming events by Ned Christian, Old Waddill
and Colonel Robert Withers, which is destined to
be powerful organ Of popular sentiment, taste,
virtue, faith, hope and charity, if the type ever
comes to hand.
Now, if these Lynchburg editors amt pleased
with that, they may Just go to-bed, and dye their
toes with bed-bug poison, and die there, for I'm
bent on having their good will, they being the
fghtenest editors in this country.
Boy, tell Peter Wren to send me two more pitch
ers of punch, for it is very fine Make it stiff.
Now can go it
The geology of this portion Of the State is very
remarkable I observed in my rambles q haven't
been outside the town since came here) some ad-
mirabe diluyian remains, the principal Of which is
market house, found here by the first settlers
few centuries ago. The timbers in this edi6ce, its
elevation above tide water, and the incrustations
on the buthers blocks attest its hoary antquidity.
The best biblical students are agreed that it is
distinct and lneal relic of Noah's Ark, and it is
within easy reach of some of the best drinking hou
ses in town. The hill on which this very interest
ing and instructive ruin stands, is called, for some
doctrinal or historical reason, Jake Knoll.
Think III step out now, and see if can't get a
drink somewhere. No; ;Ill finish this. By Jovel
it is raining, showing, and sleeting, at the same
time. Here, more punch, quick View from my
window-slish, slesh, slash, slosh, slush. How it
pours Plish, Iplesh, plash, plosh, plush. Bad
walking-slippy, sloppy, slappy, sloppy, sluppy.
What a town for q man with pump soles and
wooden leg to live in. Mid, med, mad, mod, mud,
everywhere, and up to the hub, and somebody
stole my umbrella and Igot no stills, and it xain-
ifg pitchforks petchforks, patchforks, pochforks,
patchforks, potchforks, putchforks why not
punchforks? What world this would be if it on
ly rained hot whiskey punch threedays in theweek,
and egg-nogg on Sunday, wouldn't it In that
event I would live always, wouldn't /? Believe
I'll sing,
Come, rest in this boo-scenes that are-meet
me by Heydenrich's alone dog Tray ever-tra tar
lar terrum tn too-my Leonora fare thee weh-on
turkey and champagne this dirty Xmas weather.
reminds me of the girls.
The ladies of this city are by far the most beau
tiful, accomplished and refined in the whole world
the men are bold and fiery as apple brandy and
the entire landscape is forty degrees above proof
On every side the incoherent hills look up in very
becoming manner; the distant mountains are blue
as pop bottle, and in the West the towering
Peaks of Otter stand up ike-ike- stand up like
men determined to their durndest or die in the at
tempt.
The above is really eloquent, and I deserve
drink for it. Here goes.
People Of Lynchburg the most hospitable peo-
ple in the world-treat all the time, observe Xmas
in the most sacred and festive manner, with fire.
crackers rockets, nggers, and whiskey, In all its
forms People, named generally Latham, Payne,
Christian, Langhorne and Guggenheimer, with
scattering Thurman here and there. Gug keeps
all the stores, and the rest inhabit the multitude
nous hills and vales A few named Seabury and
Stabler; three kindspf Latham-one thin, dyspep-
tic and gloomy-hence called Grey; another, with
forehead that runs back to his coat-collar and a
gilt-edged three.ply soul, hence called Woody; a
third called Bob, because an apothecary and eats
Pharaoh's serpents for supper; remarkable dwarf,
named Baugh, from Baugh-naugh-caugh-baugh-
vile Court House. Other people, equally remark
able, blowers of tobacco horns and ringers of auc-
ton bells.
Places of iuterest-Poes lanyard and Hollins'
Mill. Curious topography of city-people in the
morning, when they come down, sway-backed and
bow-legged, from holding back, going down hill;
in the evening when they return home, hump