Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-09-02
A wedding Night Shirt.

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It wasn't hardly the fair thing that the
boys did to Joe Thompson, the night he
was married, but tho temptation was ire.
sistible. They could not have helped it to
save their lives. I'll tell you how it was.
Joe was about the most fancy dressed buck
in town-over nice and particulars per-
feet Miss Nancy in manners, always putting
on airs, and more dainty and modest than
girl. Well, when his wedding day came,
he was dressed trunk empty, and his pants,
especially fitted him as candle moulds, and
his legs candles, run into them. Tight was
no name for them. Their set was immense,
and he was prouder than halfa dozen pea.
cocks.
Aren't they nice, boys2" he asked Of
the two boys who were to be groomsmen,
and saw that he threw himself away after
the most approved manner.
"Stunningl Georgeousl" replied Tom
Bennett. "Never saw equal to them. But
l say, Joe, aren't they the least bit too
tightP It strikes me that you will have
some difficulty in bending, won't you?"
"Pshaw, no, they are as easy as an old
glove. Seel'
To prove the matter, he bent down so as
to touch his patent feathers, when crack,
crack, followed like twin reports Of revol.
yer.
Thunder" exclaimed Joe, as he put his
hand behind and found rent in the cassi.
mere from stemito stern. 'Thuuder ! the
pants have burst and what shall I do?"
II should rather think they had," an.
swered Tom, getting purple in the face, as
he endeavored to!!control bis laughter; "but
there is no time to get another pair. Itonly
wants half an hour to the standing up time,
and VIC have got q mile to go-carriage wait
ing too"
"What shall I do, oh |! what shall I do?"
"1ll tell you what, if mine would fit you
you should have them and welcome, but
they are about mile too big; they would
set like shirt on bean pole. I SEQ no
way but to have them mended."
"Who can I get to do it, Tom?"
"Well, I am something of tailor, and
can fix them so they won't show. Hold on
minute, and I'll get needle and thread. I"
'Can you? May heaven bless you!"
"OA with your coat" commanded Tom,
as he came back.
"Now lay yourself over on the bed and
III fix you in short order"
The command was obeyed the pants
mended; the coat tails carefully pinned
over, so as to conceal the distress for rent,
and all went merry as the marriage bell un.
til Joe followed the bride to the nuptial
couch.
There was only dim light in the room,
but it enabled Joe, as he glanced bashfully
around, to see the sweetest face in the world
the rosy cheeks and bright lips, the lovely
and loving blue eyes, and the golden curls
just peeping from out the snowy sheets, and
he extinguished it altogether, and hastened
to disrobe himself. Of came coat, vest,
fancy necktie and collar, boots and socks in
hurry, but somehow the pants stuck
The more he tried tho more they wouldn't
come, and he tugged vainly for half an hour.
'Thunder I. muttercd Joe.
"What's the matter, dear?" came in the
softest of accents from the bed, where some.
body was wondering if he was ever coming,
and, forgetting his accustomed bashfulness,
he blurted out:
"Moll, that cursed Tom Bennett has sew.
ed my pants, drawers, shirt and uudershirt
all togetherr'
1T is too bad wait moment my dear"
A little stockingless foot peepcd out first,
then ruffled night dress, the lamp was light
ed, pair Of scissors found, and Joe releas-
ed and although he denies it, Tom Bcnnet
swears that his wedding shirt was Of the
shortest possible extent, reasoning poste-
ri0ri.