Litchfield enquirer., 1868-04-16
THE JOSH BILLINGS PAPERS.
SUM NATRAI HISTORY.

lA ~ s4.aA gs1, SUM NATRAL HISTORY. A- The alligator is not natif of Nu Eng land: he iz too useless critter to be born there. ,alols45 s-a He belongs down South, and resides in the same swamp that the copperhead dug. s| He lives upon raw pig, and don't hesi tate to take them whole, if there don't hap pen to be smaller one handy. ,s He, is also fond of little negro once in a while by way of a fresh bite.
 They are amphibious. and several other 2 kinds of cuss tew plenty to menshun. .S What on earth they are good for, don't seem tn know, unless it is tew watch for pigs. H< 3 Their hides can be tanned into leather, but they are az hard to skin az a beach iz; and the leather when tanned iz just about az Timber az Q cooking stove., But one pair ov boots made out ov alligator will I last as long az a mans name dug! the only way to wear them out iz to heaye them away.
 Alligator meat is not luscious If you ask for it at first klass hotels, they alwns tell you that they are just out. " 1t tastes as should think the beef uv mule would, -,. who had been worked forty years in brick yard, and then struck by lightning to get rid uv him. e. When the alligator's mouth is wide open, the head is just about in the centre nv his . body; but they have one virtew l came very near forgetting-they make very still noise, although they have more jaw than any critter I know uv.
 These are some of tho heaviest fakts 1 have been able til gather about the alliga- tor. ..s
 The alligator seems to be second addi tion of the krokadie made out uy what was left
 l think krokadile usually lays eggs when they want some more krokadi!es, but don't kno-but if they do, aud evor s. find the nest, should not hesitate to hatci. out the eggs myself-with klub.
 This iz all know at present abont the alligator.
 .-. .A4s- THE REIN
 iz the smallest thing surrounded with feath- CTS except the humming bird.
 He iz about the size of horse chestnut. He iz of a dark brown color, and bids his nest in not holes, out nv little bits of stix. He is az gritty as mud pie, and will fight 8 hen turkey.
 Rens are little pirates; have seen them drive blue bird out uv his house, and set up bizness on his stock of trade.
 They lay an egg about the size of mar rowfat p. and hatch out at least half doz- en children at a setting.
 A young ren is the fonniest little pack age ever seen done up; they aint much bigger and look very much like small sized semicolon. ...
 Rens are long lived, but if they should live to be as old as Methuseleh, they wouldn't be as big as butter-nut.
 They live on the bug and worm family, and spend their winter south. They are not profitable to eat-I would az soon dress the humble bee, and one ren pot pie would soon use up the whole breed.
 THE GROW.
 Next to the monkey the crow has the wild, kan be tanned as easy as the goat kan but tame crow is aktually worse than sore thumb.
 If there is enny thing about the house that kant get into, it iz because the thing aint big enuf. I had rather watch dis trikt skool than one tame crow. Crow live on what they can steal, and they vii steal enny thing that aint tied down.
 They fond of meat vittles, and ar the first to hold an inquest oves departe horse or g still sheep. They are fine Dir, tew hunt, but hard one to kill; they ka1 see yu miles first, and will smell Q gu1 right thro the side ov mountain.
 They are not songstirs, altho they have good voice to cultivate, but what they dt sing they seem to understand thoroughly long practiss has made them perfekt.
 The crow is turf bird, and kan stand the heat like blacksmith. and cold like stun wall.
 They bild their nest among Q tree, ant lay twice, and both eggs would hatch out i they were laid in a snow bank-ther, aint no such thing az stopping 8 young crow.
 Crows are very lengthy, I beleave the, live always, I never knu one to die natural death don't beleave they knoy how.
 They are always thin in flesh, and ar like an old inj jun rubber shew, poor insid and out
 They are not considered fine eating, al tho have read somewhere of billed crow but still never heard of the same nal hankering for some billed crow times This essa on the crow is coppied iron natur and if it is true, ain t to blame fo it; natur made the crow didn't; if had would made her more honest and not quit so turf.
 leads me to remark, in the fust place, tha thus far they are suckcess.
 They are domestick, and occasionally ar, tuff
 This is owing to their not being billed often enutf in their younger daze, but tht hen aint to blame for this.
 Bild hen is universally respected.
 Thare is great deal of originality tew ir the hen-exactly how much kant tell, his torians fight so much about it. Sum say Knower had hens with him in the ark, and sum say he didn't. So it goes which an6 luther.
 I kant tell yu which was born fust, the hen or the egg; sometimes think the egg was-and sometimes think don't kne and kant tell which is right for the life ot me.
 Laying eggs is the hens best grip.
 A hen that kant lay eggs-is laid out.
 One egg is considered a fair days work fora hen. have herd of their doing bet ter, but don't want hen of mine tew dc tit is apt to hurt their constitution and by laws, and thus impare their future worth.
 The poet sez, butifully: s'Sumbody has stole our old blew hen