The Evansville journal., 1868-04-24


ing In the streets seem very angry II
they are gazed at, and sadly disap-
pointed if they are not.
A little boy who was praised for
never taking his eyes off the preacher,
answered with all simplicity: " l
wanted to see how near he was to the
end"
A young mar who was about jump
ing from a train while IN motion was
deferred by a reporter, who asked for
his name, age, business, and residence,
for an obituary item.
In ancient days the preoept was,
Know thyself," In modern times
it has been supplanted BY the far
more fashionable maxim, :" Know thy
neighbOr and everything about him. "
I hope, my little daughter, f" [ said
I one morning, that you will be able
to control your little temper to-day
Yes, mamma; and / hope you will
be able to control your big temper"
A fashionably dressed lady, desir-
Gus of purchasing a watch, was shown
a very beautiful one, the shop-keeper
remarking that it went thirty-six
/ hours " What, In one day?" she
asked.
A teacher, who, in fit of vexation,
called her pupils set Of young
adders, on being reprOved for her
language, apologized by saying that
/ she was speaking to those just COM
meneing arithmetic.
g A Cincihnatian at the fremont
+ House, Chicago, expatiating on the
t'vine- clad hills etc., claimed that
the Ohio was the Rhine of the New
World. Yes, CALCULATED old x
the pork Rhine.
A credulous man said to wag who
/ had wooden leg, How came you to
have wooden leg?" Why" said
the wag. My father had one, and so
/ had my grandfather. It runs In the
blood"
Il "A Chinese. maxim says: We re-
quire four things of women, that vir-
tue dwell in her heart; that mOdesty
4 play on her brow; that sweetness flow
4 from her lips; that industry occupy
/ her hands" aaa
Ea The Saturday ReUiel0 says that,
considering how many idiotic men
there are in the world with whom
good women have to live, it is bless
sing to the good women that they
should not be able TO know an idiot
/ when they see one.
i There is no insignifcance, says
Henry, Giles, which has not lower
4 that Is nearer than itself to nothing
! ness; Dogberry has Verges, Silence
has Simple, and so the gradations of
meanness are infinite, as we'll as the
gradations Of majesty.
/ Patrick, said priest to an Irish
man, " how much hay did you steal2'
= Well, replied Pat, :" / may as well
confess to your riviTence for the
whole sack, for my wife and / are
going to take the rest Of it on the first
dark night. 5l.uG
A stupid fellow tried to annoy a
popular preacher by asking him
whether the fatted calf ofthe parable
was male or female. " Female. to be
sure, was the reply; for l see the
male" looking the quesii0ner full IN
the face, " yet alive in the flesh be-
fore me. sal
Do you smoke, senOrlta Z" said q
gentleman who discovered Madame
-, of the Italian opera, refresh.
ing herself In that way on her travels
from Boston to New York. The an
swer had a good deal Of Tuscan mai.
Uete. Yes responded the lady, ''
5 smokes, and [ drinks, and / does
everything yot is yickedl"
When Foote was at Salt Hill, he
dined at the Castle Inn, and wheL
Partridge, the host, produced his bill
which was rather exorbitant, the co
!. median asked him his name. Part.
ridge, sir, said he. :" Partridge !eaE
should have been Woodeock, by tn,
length Of your billi'' ru.
The young man who advertised fol
boarding place, where his pious ex.
D ample would be eqcivafent for board
and lodging Is. matched by the lad,
who wants a house where contact with
: believers would be an attendant,cir
u cumstance, and concludes with ".Ad
& dress Sinner Saved, b Post Office"
When the Duke de Choiseul. VII,
was a remarkably lean man, came t,
tsLOnden to negotiate a peace, Charlie
Townsend. being asked whether th
French Government had sent III
prellmlDarles of treaty. answered
+ that he did 1ot know, but they hat
a sent the outline Of an ambassador.
a Northern planter overheard tw,
S of his hands talking. jim. saic
Sam, whats the reason the maio
> don't call me mister; and what's th,
reason he calls my wife the old wo
: M m ! n nd .ant- -1nlss11s q ;. "a :.