Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1868-12-08
Nasty.
MIR. Nasty Suggests Haven OF Rest for the
Distressed souls who are In Danger of Losing
their Places.
From the Toledo Blade.

From the Toledo Blade
I WASHINGTON NOV. 49, 1868
We had a meetin in WASH ngton
last mite to consider things There
are many things to consider jest now
and it was deemed proper to consid
err en-. 1t wuz lodge Nv sorrow
Their wuz faint glimrins w hope on
TO the countenances Nv a few NV.
those present but nothing of certain
ty-nothin Nv ashoorance. Sekreta
ry Randall remarkt that so far ez be
wuz concerned he he'd made up his
mind. He shood not take offs under
the incoming administrator. He
mite yeeld in other matters for he
wuz Nv q yeeldin nacher, but on
this he wuz infiexible. McCulloch
and Brownin were also determined,
but Seward he'd other ides. He
chirped in that the oldest man Good
ent tell wat sixty days wood bring
forth.
Wat shall we do ? I" askt POST
master from Ohio.
{" sejest for President Johnson"
sed Randall, /" that he apply for the
Spanish throne. He wood be accep-
t,ble to the Spanish people, for he
hez all his life been putin the Bour-
bon down
Randall hcz no longer any fear Nv
the President.
Gentlemen" remarkt [, hey
an idea, witch if acted onto will pull
us out Nv our sea Nv troubles"
Speak exclaimed they all with
one breath, " speak
My idea is Cuba. Cuba, the
gem Nv the AntilIes-the britest jew
81 in the crown Nv Spain. Let Sex
rotary Seward, who hez a talent for
reel estate buy it now before the
new Coz erpment has its internal
revenoo ystem establish, and while
it is hare up for money. Let Cuba
be the politikle Botany Bay NV this
country. Let it be bought by Sew
ard and then let the President 90 to
work to wunst film offlsis for its
government, while he still hez the
power Nv appointment. He must not
wait to hev 'em hold eleckshins.
for we aIuz succeed better in gets
tin offisis by appointment than by
elechuns. Wat Heaven | see open
before us / hev been readin Cuba
up and find that that Island pays
the Homo Government $25, 000,0 900
per annum. If the Spanish Governs
ment kin git S25, 100000 out Nv EN-,
we kin double it with our experience.
There's enuff for all Nv us. Give
Randall a place correspondent with
that he now holds make Ben Wood
So0perint endent Nv the Havana Lott
teries make Franz P. suthin else,
wat it don't matter, ez he'll take
anything make good places for Ross,
Fullerton, Binkley, Mrs. Cobb, Val>
landigham, Brite, Mrs. Perry, John
Quincy Adams, Jr. Frank Peerce,
Ginral Forrest, Jim Steedman, Ross
80, Doolittle, Cowan, Dixon, Sekre~
tary Welles,, and all nv that unnum-
bered throng Nv hungry soles, who
hev lived on pap SO long that any
other diet sours on their stumicks.
And then"
. But sposin Congress, when it
meets refooses to ratify the purchis
by maxim an appropriation Re-
fcese Hal Put before Gineral
Grant the prospeck Nv never seem
the Blair family-put afore Congress
and the Amerkin people the hope
Of never seem agir the faces Nv any
Nv the men ! hev meu stunned, with
the thousands Nv others Nv similar
tastes, habits, and necessities and
wat wood twenty or thirty millions,
more or less, be to EN- Nothin |
Congress wood vote it instantane~
ousIy and the people would all say
4" Amen {" Lord, how quick the
bill wood go through, and how quick
Grant wood sign 1t.
But sposn Congress shood re-
foose, wat then :? Jest ez we'll.
The Blairs wood hev their posishuns,
and the Cuban officials, eff they are
versed in American politikle history
know, eff they know anything, that
when the Bairs get into place, Moth
ing but death loosens EN-. We shood
hist the banner NV Independence
we shood paint onto that banner the
| inscripshen "Offises for All, in q
Country where Likker is not Taxed "
and in a weeks time an army Nv
Dimokrats, big enuff to capcher
Spain herself wood be on them shores!
And who could stand afore EN- ?
Whisper I" Post Offs in their ears,
and they'd wade knee deep in blood.
Lord, how the Spanish soljery wood
go down afore en-? How Frank
Blair wood go for Lersundi how
all the trained cohorts Nv Dimocrisy
witch hev bin absteinin from offs so
many years, wood risk their all for
taste NV the sweets Nv posishen !
"Oh the deliciousnis Of the pros
peck Think NV an island with enuff
niggers onto it to do our labor, ana
enntf white Cubans who can't read
to vote for us Why, it wood recall
recolIections Nv them happy days
before the war when the Dimocrisy
wuz thus Constructed. | hunger
and thirst for SIGH"
"Ron swiftly round ye wheels Of time,
Aud bring the happy day"
/" Then Ginral Grant Good hev
peece Then he wood only hev the
Ablishnists on his hands Then the
niggers nv the United States mite
hev suffrage for it wood make nc
difference to us. We wood hev of,
fists to live onto, and pure niggers TO
look down upon. and wat more Good
we want i? The only difference
wood be, we wood hev to accustom
our stnmicks to Santa Cruz rum in
place Nv whisky, but that we Good
do. The effect upon the bowels j:
the same-it differs only in taste
and | am told that when both are
new there amt much difference il
that"
|