The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-06-19
Legal Measures By Peck. s9sn
Judas Outdone.; by The Man of

Legal Measures; By Peck. 9 tlsr
Judas 0utdone; By The Man of
Ross - III 5S
Chase for the Presidency; BY A.
johnson. = Z. b n.
If Lhad to be a bird I wouldn't be
q lark; they have to rise so carly, and
go to bed st dark. I wouldn't be an
eagle, the King Of BIRDS (~so-called); [
wouldn't be His M.iiesfy, fprzfear I
might be bald Z wouldn't be aspsr-
rowrit wouEdn't, be much fun to have
the noble sportsman cem9 round with
dog and gun. Nor yet would be a
chicken, chs. when the mortal coil was
shufied of, my quiet life might finish
in abroil, But if / had to be 3 bird,
I'd be one that was "hy'-Id be a
gay canary, and | WsH tell you why:
because you're treated handsome;
and, if you only sings gets Quite
/ fish and chick weed, and lots of bully
things; and tosome charming creature
yon can breathe your love in song,
and warbfe out your rOundelays to
her sweet and. strong she'll call you
all the prett5est ~names-yOuH 1--we IN
her boudoirsa Now, if you had to be
a bird, amt this living for?
A6 enterprisiug quack has con
triyed to extract from sansages a
powerful tonic which he says con-
tains the whole strength Of the origj-
nal bark. He calls it "Sulphate of.
| Cauinet" He anticipates a great popu-
larity for it. 41 -
Il say, Brown, what a close shaver
Jones Is: why. he'll squabble about a
/ penny" Well, what if he does?'
said Brown, the less IA %sQuabbles
about the better"
Questions for lawyers: What is the
female name. answering to a Man
damus? Does the expression, Bar
sells Z" refer to jokes made b~ycounsel?
Has a f-fa ANYTHING to do with the
~pantomime at DruFy Lane, calledEGSC
70 Fun? Is not 40 action very truth
full when twill not "lie?' Must a
patient ambiguity be a new %inveutIonY
A lady, not long since, visiting a
cemetery with her little daughter, OBJ
served on one of the stones a neatly
cut figure of a horse. Wondering
why such an emblem should be used,
they examined the inscription closely,
but could find no clue to its appro-
p~riateness, when her little girl re
marked: 4 presume she died OF the
nightmare" Notwithstanding the
solemn surroundings, the lady could
hut laugh at the cOmicality of the
idea, -
Mr.. Alexander, In a memoir prefix
ed to a recently published volume of
essays by the late Alexander Smith,
tells two or three Scotch anecdotes Of
Hugh Macdonald, a close friend Of
the poet. Macdonald, with the warm
est affection for Smith as a man, com
bined a resolUte contempt for him as
a poet, to which he never hesitated to
give the very broadcast Doric. express
sion. Il like ye weel, Sandy" he
would say, and that ye well ken
but as for yer poetry, as ye ca It'll sae
help me God, / ma but little OF. 1t
may be poetry I'm no sayin' it is ma;
the ereties say it's poetry, an nae doOt
they suld ken, but it's no my kind O.
poetry. Jist a blather o. Draw words,
to my mind, an bit whirly-whas they
ca eenldgeS. Damme, if L a max
either head or tail o't.'
If troubles meet you, just fare them
GOWN. Ii Iua6 uUu I 40 Cti4ea kuOGh
them into a similar prostrati7e attn
tude. They are bad company. Have
nothing to do with them or for them.
They make mischief for everybody,
and do good to no one. By good
rightsAthey,sbonld have, been Danish
ed from the world long ago. Impu-
dent Aapdacipas, inppportune, i'm
pertinent, bothering affairs, they have
properly no place anywhere, and
should be entertained on no occasion
aatever. Make a private note of
: matter, and be ready at the APP
preach of the diabolics. A1FaS
Young ladies say no when they
mean yes, and yes when the real feel
ing is nc. Gentlemen should accord
inglg make due calculation. A little
outlay of penetra iol-a few minor
tests we'll apphed-wflF generally
evolve the real state of things. A
little innocent disguise isn't very
wicked, especially if you, reader, who
are SO really. sharp, can penetrate the
Il asked for a plate of, not seven
strawbefries,P said a scustomerIa t one