The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-12-06
WET AND WISDOM.

DOMESTIC CANNIBALs.-Back biters.
A WOODEN WEDDINa.-The marriage of
blockhead.
The skeleton in every married mans
house-his wife's skirt.
The cheapest of lawyers-Keeping ones
own counsel.
WANTED.-A life-boat that will flow on a
60 sea of troubles"
How does q butcher express his affection
By sending tender line.
The man who was lost in slumber found
his way out on a nightmare.
It is supposed the fellow who left the
house was not able to take it with him.
every good, but rather too pointed" rs
the fish said when it swallowed the bait.
"Drop me line" as the drowning man
said to the fellow on deck.
What suit is the most costly, and the less
liked the longer it lastsf A lawsuit.
If a man is murdered by his workmen,
should the coroner render q verdict of muir
dered by his own hands2
A respectable gentleman don't like to
have a heavy charge leveled against him
especially if it is in gun.
A beau dressed out resembles the CHINA
mon tree-the bark is of more value than
the body.
Miss Anthony's Rerolution says, " woman
is fact.' Facts are stubborn things! No
insinivations!
Why are our fingers particularly reliable
in case of breakage? Because they are
always on hand with nails.
William, if you go out in the street I'll
whip you" g But, mother, if let you whip
me now, may go out afterwards 7"
Surely that man may be envied who can
eat pork chops for supper, and sleep without
| a grunt.
"Your horse has tremendous long Bit,
said he, " it's Il bit too long"
The man who challenged contradic-
ton got into an awful fight, and was Sc
verely beaten.
" Jim, how does the thermometer stand
to- day ~ "Ours stands on the mantel-
piece, right agin the plastering."
"Look well before you leap" Very good
advice in its way hut how can sickly-look--
ing people follow it
little boy.who gets one on his ear don't
think it at all 80.
A WHOLESALE WIsH.-At a recent dinner
of shoemakers, the following toast was
given: "May we have all the women in
the country to shoe-and all the men to boot.
"Idon't believe it's any use, this vaccin-
ation," said Yankee. 81 had child vac
clnate0 ana lie Tell out Oh u wlnQer week
arter and got killed.
said fiatterer; ga perfect little pearl"
+" And pray, sir, what am 7" "Oh, you
are the mother of pearl"
young fellow fond of talking remark
ed: am no prophet" "True," replied
a lady present, I" no profit to yourself or to
any one else"
A lazy fellow begged aims, saying that he
could not find bread for his family. Z" Nor
l." replied an industrious mechanic 81 am
obliged to work for it."
81 can't undertake., wife, to crafty all
your whims it would be as much as my
life is worth" ooh, sir, that's nothing"
she replied.
| A great poet says that "the mountains
stand fixed for ever" We know, however,
| that it is no uncommon thing for them to
slope.
Misprints will present themselves in other
columns besides those of newspapers. The
author of temperance novel, who wrote
drunkenness is folly" was Mortified to
read " Drunkenness is jolly"
An American farmer says: I" We raise
four hundred bushels of potatoes to the acre
here, which would be big thing if we
didn't also raise insects enough to eat 'em
all up"
Some one, wishing to be witty on a gen.
tleman WIFI u large mouth, asked MIN IL ne
had long lease of that mouth of his when
he was good humoredly answered "No,
have it only from year to year."
"Oh, my dear sir, said poor sufferer to
dentist, that is the second wrong tooth
you have pulled out" every sorry, sir"
said the laundering operator, I" but as there
were only three when begun, am sure to
be right next time"
Sounds, though proceeding from the same
distance, do not travel with equal rapidity.
A call for dinner will run over a ten acre
lot in q minute and a half, while sum-
mons to work will take from five to ten
minutes. 49,
| A thirsty Quaker having stopped at a tav-
ern to get pot of beer, and observing that
the measure was deficient, asked the land
lL>-l L.