Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-08-26
All Sorts OF Items.

..''sAn uculStakaDIe case OF plack -DulllDS
"a crying negro baby.
".."An early spring-jumping out of bed
at five o'clock in the morning.
.Ex-Prcsident Pierce writes that New
Hampshire will go for Seymour.
......If the Radicals want peace, what are
they running their candidate on his military
merits for?
......Parton asks, "Will the coming man
drink winc?" If he's good Radical he II
prefer whisky.
.....During the war Seymour was always
filling the ranks Of our armies while Grant
was thinning them out.
......Who ever heard woman with pret.
ty ankles and whole stockings complain Of
wet sidewalks or muddy crossings2
......Snooks says that "Comin thro' the
rye" may suit some people, but for his part
he likes (old) rye coming thro' him.
COCOA word Of kindness to poverty and
sorrow is better than nothing but dollar
or two, according to your means, is better
yet.
......The stories Of "rebel outrages" pro.
mulgated by the carpet bag Gov. War
mouth, of Louisiana, are proved to be fab
relations.
......Passcnger trains on the Central Pa
cific railroad are now running TO a station
two hundred and thirty.fve miles east Of
Sacramento city.
......The fall style Of pants for gents
(those for ladies not yot determined upon)
is to be smaller yet. To 90 inside instead Of
outside of the skin.
......A public speaker says that the easi-
est way to compute the public debt is to
'set down figure one and add q whole coal
scuttle full Of cyphcrs!"
......f you are a lover, don't love two
girls at once. Love is good thing, but it
is like butter in warm weather-it won't do
to have too much on hand at one time.
......Now that Orville Grant declares for
his brother, Prentice says his hope that
there was ut least one sensible member Of
the Grant family is blasted.
......An Irishman, fresh from Hibcrnia,
caught bumblebee in his hand, supposing
it to be humning- bird. "Och," he ex-
claimed, how hot his fut ISL
...... docs the dentist kiss you when he
pulls your teeth, pa?" mo, my son,
why?' "Oh, nothing, only he kissed ina,
and she said it took the ache all away; and
l guess it did, for she laughed oil the way
home"
.....At St. Joseph, Missouri, Sherman
said, in effect, that the best thing that Grant
could do was to 90 to sleep. We agree with
him, and will promise to wake Grant up
with salvo Of artillery, in honor Of Sey'
mour's election.
......In the death and burial Of Thaddeus
Stevens there was great consistency to his
political life. He had negro clergymen to
pray ut his bedside in his last moments,
and negro soldiers escorted his remains to
Lancaster.
......At collection lately made at char
ity fair, young lady offered the plate to y
rich man who was noted for his stinginess.
II have nothiug," was his curt answer
"Then take something, sir" she replied;
"you know / am begging for the poor"
......An exchange gives the following re.
cipe for killing Acas. Place the ferocious
animal on smooth board and pen him in
with a hedge Of shoemaker's wax. Then,
as soon as he becomes quiet, commence
reading to him tho doiugs Of Congress, and
he will burst with indignation.
.''This," says the Charleston Mercury,
lis the bal,ny season Of the year when tho
colored man gets fat. Watermelons have
come in from every quarter, and are pur'
chased at any price under dollar or over q
cent. From dewy morn to the small hours
Of night, Sambo eats and sighs, sighs and
eats, sighs and cats and sighs again. He
keeps his watermelons under his bed, and
ono, the loveliest Of oil, he takes for pill
low and dreams on"