The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-01-13
HUMOROUS.

Better go about than to fall into
the ditch.
Youth and white paper take any
impression.
Who looks not before finds himself
behind.
a man of gladness seldom falls into
madness.
Children and chickens must be
always picking.
Husbands are in heaven whose
wives chide not.
Tobacco should not be chewed, but
esehewed.
IF a small boy is a lad, a big boy
must be ladder.
Beer fills many a bottle, and the
bottle many bier.
When is house like a bird?
When it has wing.
When is silence likely to get wet?
When it reigns.
What can you not name without
breaking it? Silence.
When is a window like a star?
When it is a sky-Gght.
Some fishermen use cotton for bait
so do some women.
Why is old age like a dogs tail?
Because it is in-frm.
When is a lover like a tailor?
When he presses his suit
Men, in looking at the faults of
women, should shut their eyes.
Why is dancing like milk? Be-
cause it strengthens the calves.
Why is learned man like scarlet?
Because he is deep read.
These are loving times, when every
thing is as dear as it can be.
What is the largest room in the
world? The room for improvement.
Dinner for nothing" is much
preferred to nothing for dinner"
What sculpture is to a block of
marble, education is to the human
soul.
1t is said hoops surround the. love-
lest of all things-girls and : whisky.
Patrick told his Sweetheart he
8 could not slape for dreaming of
her"
When may funds be supposed to be
unsteady? When money is tight.
EPHRAIM, this baby's legs are
monstrous fat, amt they? What
temperament do you think the child
has?"
Rather heavy, Simon-decidedly
of the limb-fa y
Well, guess so, too"
WHAT'S the difference between edi-
torial and matrimonial experience?
In the former the devil cries for
copy" In the latter the "copy"
cries like the devil.
PRIZE fights have one redeeming
quality, viz: some very bad charac-
tiers get very soundly whipped.
Mrs. PARTINGToN, reading an ac-
count of a railroad accident, was
much surprised to learn that the en-
CINE had been driven off the track
by one of the switches.
4 should not have thought" said
she, Il that the great iron engine
would mind such little thing as a
switch
Yes, but you must remember,
mamma" said Ike. gravely the To-
connective has tender behind"
Am I not little pale?" inquired
a lady. who was short and corpulent,
of crusty old bachelor. : You look
more like big tub, was the blunt
reply.
AN unfortunate female, while going
down Main Street, slipped up and sat
down on the pavement. One of our
Main Street clerks called out. Miss,
you've dropped something" The lady
gathered herself up, and in a spiteful
voice replied: " Well, | p cked it up
again
4 BOY who was relating how his
father had just come in from hunting,
and Dragged Of having killed nine
hundred and ninety-nine pigeons in
one shot:
Why didn't he call it thousand"
asked by-stander.
Great Heavens!" said the boy,
do you think my father would tell a
lie for one pigeon?'
A MEMBER of the Colorado Legs
lature has received several letters
asking for positions in that body
The following is a copy of one of the
letters:
KIar Krick, Kollardo, November.
thirty ait-en hundred and sixty
seven.
MISTER ZENAs-I want yer tn help
my boy Jim bigs tn the ofphis Nv phyre-