The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1868-06-10

any anu tnat VIII Ue JUST So Soou as
they "speaks him right"
Mine Cot! Mine Cot! vot language datI
Icannot English spraken
For shust so sure speak him right,
So sure bees mistaken. - =
For when says T wants my beer,
I mean that lager fxen; - .- -
Bier means dem tings dat folks ride on
Ven dey 60 dead as blixen. -.-:
Dey say dev raise building,
Den raze it down SO cline; .... :. e.
Rays means dem ting the sun trows,
Ven it gets up to shine. = -.
Meat means dem ting dats coot to eat;
Meat also means ting proper; ~
.;'Tis only mete to measure desc tings
Ven steamboats, mete the stopper. -
Sbust the same word means every ting;
It makes no business whether
You spell him dis or t'other way
Vot sounds almost like t'other ..,
Mine Cotl Mine Coil so sure knows,
I cannot English spraken;
For ven "nose" rspeak him right,
Py tam I gifts mistaken. .-.......
Our german friend will be GONZALES.
cent after while, but the woman who
took shower bath under her "umbril,
can hardly get over it. This is the way
she managed: - -. t.-."7.,.
Doctor-Nell, how did your wife man
age her shower bath. deacon?
Qeacon-She hadreal GOOD lnck-M Ma.
dam Moody told her how She managed
She had large oiled silk cap, with o
cape 10 it, like fisherman's, that came
all over her shoulders and head. 49,. .
Doctor-She's fool for her pains
That's not the way.
Deacon-So my wife thought.
Doctor-Your wife did nothing of the
sort, / hope p ~. va
Deacon-On. no; she used an umbrilly
This same doctor, was very much an.
noyed by an old lady who always stopped
him or the street to tell him over, hel
ailments. Once she met him when be
was in great hurry: ..s..- ...-s
"Ah! see you are quite feeble" said
the doctor. Shut your eyes and show
me your tongue - 1852
She obeyed, and the doctor, moying
off, left her standing there for some time
in this ridiculous position, to the infinite
amusement of all who witnessed the fun.
ny scene.
Ifyou think of marrying, boys, exam
inc, if possible, the toes of the girl you'd
marry. If The second toe be longer than
the great toe, be very 'keerful' how you
advance further, unless you are fond Of
variety. This is our advice, on the au.
thorlty of an old stager, who sends us
the following in proof and that George
told him cou6dentially that his wife's
second toe was fully half an inch longer
than it should have been: -'"- =
THREE WEEKs AFTER MARRIAGE. =
Ny dearest, you are going out?
Indeed, It's very cold; .
Let me, sweet love, around your neck
This handkerchief enfold. ......,..
You know how anxious for your health,
My own dear George, am I; &
One loving kiss before we part, g.. e..
Goodbye, sweet chuck, good>byel
THREE YEARS AFTER MARRIAGE.
You're going out!-why don't you go7
cannot help the rain; -.
You wouldn't grieve me nightly -
To ne'er come back againI ~ .s5- -
Umbrella? don't know where 'tisl - -.
What'll you want next, wonder?
Don't poster me about your cold: 80
Good gracious!-go TO thunderi go .>-
Mrs. Partington. is said to be all right
on the toe, whether the light fantastic or
the other one. Tiptoeing the other
morning, after getting up from the break
fast table, she said she would 3
Take tower, or 60 on discussion.
They say, ifI collectrightIy, that party
is to 60 to very plural spot, and tomis.
take of collection. I hope itWon't be
so cold as ours for the poor was, last
Sunday why, there wer'nt efficient to
buy wood for a restitute widder." And
the old lady put on, her calash. The
dear old marin. -
Some body says that the bottom dollar
can safely be bet on the great toe being
the longest With this young house.keep-
err @Et-.r - > j - '2.,<'>" -. - =
$50 you are going to keep housee"
asked an inquisitive maiden of a bride.
"Yes," said she. "Going to have q girl,
I suppose" q really don't know" was
the blushisg reply, "whether it viii be a
girl or boy" ~ -, e
A Western editor says that in smoky
Pittsburgh men kiss each others wives,
and are able to tell which is. their own
only by the taste. s :. 1865: .sszs.ess5
a woman astonished the 9orshippers
in q achurch at Utica, last Sunday, by
taking down her back hair, and scratch;
ing her head. =