The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1868-08-08

From Ayers FreDdship of WomAnl
In his chapter on the relations of husbands and
wives, Mr.. Alger has q passage 20 admirable, and
introduces also a quotation from Chateaubriand
which has always seemed TO Us 50 unriyaled for
truthfulness, that we quote 4 few passages
Let n husband be the true and pure guardian of
his family, labOring always to adorn himself with
the gOd-ike gems OF wisdom, virtue, and honor (;
let him bear himself IN relation 10 his wife with
gracious kindness toward her faults, with grateful
recognition Of her merits, with steady sympathy
for her trials, with hearty aid for her better aspi-
ratIOns, and she must be of n vile stock If she does
not revere him and minister unto him with all
the graccs and sweetness u her nature.
Let n wife in her whole intercourse with her
husband, Try the efficacy Of gcntleness, purity,
sincerity, scruPulOus truth, meek and patient for
bearanee, and InyGTiable tone and manner Of de-
ference, and If ne - not q brute he cannot help
respecting her and treating her kindly and IN
nearly all instances he will end by loving her and
living happily with her
Bot If he IL vulgar and vicious, despOtIc. reck-
less, so a. To have no devotion for the august
prizes and ineoFruptibIe pleasures of existence if
she IL an indispensable teTmagant, or a petty
wOrrier, 30 taken up with trihing annoyanee-
that, wherever she looks 4. the blue rotundI of
the universe sinks into q hOuse-wifery room "
If the presence Of each acts a. n morbid irritant
on the nerves Of the other, to the destruction of
comfort and the lowering Of self-Tespect, and the
duining away Of peace and strength. their COM
panionship must ~infallibly be 4 eOmpanionshiP in
wretchedness and lose
The banes Of domestic life are littieness, fllsIty,
vulgarity. harshne-s, -eOlding vOciicratiOn, an
incessant issuing Of supeTfiuOus prohibitions and
orders, which are regarded as impertincnt inter
ferences with the general liberty and repOse, and
are provocative Of ranking or exploding present.
ments. The blessed antidOtes that swceten and
enrich domestic life are refinement, high aims,
great interests, soft voices, quiet and gentle man
ners, maynanimOus t~cIuIcrS, iOrbelnnce from all
unnecessary commands OF d~IetatiOn, and generous
allowances Of mutual freedom. Love makes Ole
dience lighter than liberty. Man wears a noble
allegiance, not rs n collar, but as u garland. The
Graees are never 80 lovely rs when seen waiting
on the Virtues and, where they thus dwell to-
gethcr, they make a heavenly home.
No Affection, save friendship, has any sure eter-
nifty IN it. Friendship ought, therefore, always
to be cultivated in love itseif, as tie only certain
guard and preseryatiye, not less than as the only
sufheing substitute III Its absence. y couple
pinned by love without friendship, walk on gun
powder with torches in their hands. Shall |
venture to depict the spd decay which love natu-
rally sufIers, and the redenptive transformation
which il sometimes undergOes? L will do it by
TRANSMITTING a truthful and eloquent Passage from
ChateaubrIand
At first our letters are long, vivid, frequent.
The day il not capaciOus enough for them. We
write at sunset at mOOnrise we trace a few more
lines, charging its chaste and silent light to hide
our thousand desires. We watch for the first
peep of dawn to write what We believe we had
forgotten to say in the delicious hours of our
meeting. 4 Thousand VOWS cover the paper,
where all the roses of aurora arc reflected a
thousand kisses are planted OH the words, which
seem born from the first glance OF the sun. Not
an idea, an image, a rcyerie, an accident n dis
quietude, which has not its letter. Lo! one
morning, something almost impreceptible steals
on the beauty of this passion, like the first wrinkle
on the front of an adOred woman.
The breath and perfume of love expire in these
pages of youth as an evening breeze dies upon the
flowers. We feel il, but are unwilling to confess
it. Our letters become shorter and fewer, are
filed with news, with descriptions, with foreign
matters and, if anything happens to delay them,
we are less disturbed. On the subject of loving
and being loved, We have grown reasonable.
We submit to absence without complaint. Our
former vows prolong themselves; here are still
the same words, but they arc dead. Soul - want
ing in them. l love you, u merely an expression
To be OF the IOye-IetteF. Little by little the style
freezes where it inHamcd. The post-day, no
longer eagerly anticipated, is rather dreaded;
writing has become n fatigue.
We blush to think OF the madness we have
trusted to paper, and wish we could recall our
letters and burn them. What has happened?
L. il n new attachment which begins where the
old one ends? No; IL II love dying in advance o.
the object loved. We are forced To own that the
sentiments of man are subject 10 a hidden pro-
cess; the fever Of time, which produces lassitude,
also dissipates illusion, undermIncs our passions,
withcrs our loves, and changes our hearts, even
as il changes our locks and our years. There il
but one exception To this human infirmity. There
occurs IN n strong soul n love firm
enough To transform itseif into iniIa-siOned friend
ship, so rs to become u duty, and appropriate
The qualities OF virtue Then, ueutraiizing the
weakness of nature, it acquires the Immortality
Df n principle.