The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1868-05-14
TO LET--INQUlRE WITHIN.

appear, III Idt Uiack letttTS, WOuuu up Dy
a huge exclamation point, to the attention
of all house hunting sufferers.
"This house to Leland no mistake
about it either" unused Mr.. Briggs, stirring
his cup of cold coffee, and looking dis
tastefully at the one boiled egg that ly
before him. "The fact is, I'm sick of
keeping house coal always out-taxes al
ways due-carpets always wearing in their
places-grocers's bills enough to make a
mans hair stand on end; and house-keep-
er always striking for higher wages! 1
won't stand it any longer-Pll be boiled
alive if do !"
As Mr.. Nahum Briggs was little, fat,
fussy man, and tout ensemble not unlike
a comfortably sized lobster, the boiling"
part of the busir ess was not at all inappro.
pirate. And as If to carry out the simile,
he turned lively scarlet as the door
slowly swung open, and his housekeeper
stalked majestically in. In truth and in
fact, MIR. Briggs was little afraid of Mrs
Farley, but MIR. Briggs was resolved to
break the hateful spell, and stood boldly
to his guns.
"Mr. Briggs began the lady, solemn
ly. " can I believe my eyes?"
Well ma'am," said the old bachelor,
" l never heard that anything was amiss
with your eyesight."
els it possible that you have posted
bill on the front Of this house without con-
sulting me?"
"Quite so a'am," responded Nahum.
And Won intepded-"
To shut up shop-to close my estab-
lishment-to break UP housekeeping.
ma am" said Nahum. That's exactly my
intention"
"Very we'll, sir" said Mre. Farley,
grimly, if you will settle the trifing
question of salery between US, l will take
my departure"
"W hat, now?" calculated Mr. Briggs,
taken somewhat by surprise
immediately" responded the lady
frigidly.
"And who's to keep house for me until
the first Of May, and who's to show the
premises to all inquirers demanded
Nahum, little apprehensively.
THAT is your own business, sir" said
Mrs. Farley. 81, for one, cannot consent
to remain in house where | have been
so markedly excluded from the corfdence
OF its owner"
"Just SO, ma'am, exactly" said Mr.
Briggs counting out several bank notes
There's your money, and now oblige me
by clearing out as quick as you conven-
iently can"
Mrs. Farley withdrew and Nahum was
left TO his own medltations.
Singular to relate. they took the shape
or species of war dance, executed in the
mBliHHsa|e mBliHHsa| Of tthe floor. to the musical snap
bravo bravo! three cheers auu ,l-
ger at the end Of EN- . /" chuckled our he
r.. g If ever there was miserable slave +,
I've been one that hatche:- faced woman,
and now I'm free. Who would have sup
posed"
He stopped abruptly there was ring
at the door bell.
"And nobody to answer it," mused Mr..
Briggs, little depressed from his high
spirits. "Well, I'll 60 myself"
A specialized old lady stood on the door
steps in a shabby bombazine and furs that
looked as if they might have grown on the
back Of some dissipated cat.
"This ere house to let Z"
"Yes, ma'am.'
"Can [ look at it
Certainly ma am"
"Water pipes in order? cellar dry !?
paint new? furnace work good roof
sound? chandeliers go with the house !?
possession right off ? neighborhood good Z
Methodist church anywhere near? any OBJ
lection to children ? ventilators in the
room CHEEKY closets off the dining room 2"
Ma'am 2" calculated poor Nahum,
fairly stunned by the torrent of questions.
Servants is so dull sighed the cid lady.
Can see your master?
I'm my own master ma am" SAID Mr..
Briggs, irri:ably
Oh, 1 thought you was the porter"
said the old lady scorniully. "W hats
the rent ,"
"Twelve hundred dollars"
"Twelve hundred fddlesticks !" shrek
ed the old lady, holding up both her
hands Who on earth do you s'pose is
going to pay twelve hundred dollars for
such an old tumble down rat hole as this
Why, you must be crazy! Say nine hun
dred and I'll look at the rooms"
"I won't say anything of the sort. "
said Nahum, turning red and feeling ap-
opletic.
eff you don't like the rent Of my house,
MIA am, you're not Obliged to pay it. and
wish you very good morning, ma'am."
So saying Nahum Briggs closed the
door in the face of the old lady with the
NANCY furs, who Immediately commenced
rapping on tile panels with her umbrella
handle, and calling out abusive messages
through the key hole.
Scarcely had the old lady got safely
round the corner, and Mr.. Briggs recover
ed his ruflled faculties, when there came
another sharp decentralization 10 the bel
wires-a LAM guild young lady this time
with stiff looking gentleman who appear
ed to be engaged in holding on to his mus
Itach.
With this couple Mr.. Nahum trotted to
the very top Of the house and down again
4 l.. 81 L.