Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-08-19
Fen and Scissors,

1.-The Radical cry-Hclp US. postmas.
ters, or we sink.
.:.:.Thc English cheer Jefferson Davis
and abuse Horatio Seymour.
......Gep. Sigel Is for Seymour. So Orc
those who fought with him. VI
"....1f you arc prepared for wooden
overcoat just 10 on gulging unripe fruit.
...... Williamsport has increased its popu.
iation from six to nineteen thousand in the
last ten years.
...... When you hear man say, 'life is
but dream" tread on his corns and wake
him up. Life is real ''' ''N ""A'
......We are sorry to notice TINT our ex.
changes generally state that the peach crop
is a failure this season.
...... Joe Brown, the founder of Ander.
sonvillc, hos been confirmed as Chief ,Jns.
tice by the Senate Of Georgia.
.....An elephant, though only beast il
more respectable than carpet.bagger, for
he takes his trunk with him. "
THE Radicals say, "if We lose Grants S
election, oil is lost" There is one comfort,
their loss will be the peoples eternal gain.
......Radical negroes South try to flog the
Democracy out Of their fellow negroes. -
When that is unsuccessful they cut their
throats.
| ......The number Of threshing machines
in this country is said to be 225, ZOO. Grant
will think there are several million Of them
in November.
......An exchange says that a great por.
ton Of the Western plains are a. dry as
dust. That accounts for Grant not staying
there longer.
......Pigs squeal and it is called q con.
founded noise and nuisance. Men and
women do something not much different
and it is styled music.
......Before West Point cadet can get
leave Of absence he must take pledge that hat
he will keep sober three days Immediately
succeeding his departure and three days i'm.
mediately succeeding his return.
....A mongrel sheet says: THE ques.
ton, can Q Democrat be saved, is a puzz.
ler." Well, the question will mongrels be
damned" is no puzzler at all.
......Stokes, Of Tennessee, said in bis
speech ut Chicago that ''he owed his life to
the negro race and could not be ungrateful. I"
But has he not paid the debt in full? How
many little nigs owe their lives to him?
......A large black bear was recently killed
on the farm Of Mr.. Lebo, near Halifax, in
Dauphin county. He was eight feet long,
and if in good condition he would have
weighed four hundred pounds.
.....A letter with the following super
scription is held in the Waterbury post Of:
flee Miss Bessie T., Waterbury, CT.
don't know her full name, but she is the
prettiest little girl in the city,"
1.-The tax on whisky having been re-
duced to fifty cents per gallon, those who
| frequently imbibe are anxious to know
whether the price Of drinks is to come down
proportionately. Who knows?
1.-The Scranton Register apologies for
its lack Of reading matter on Monday, by
stating that one of its printers is sick, one is
out of town, and two are on drunk, That
must be "well.regulated" establishment.
......As remedy for mosquito bite, keep
phial of glycerine at hand and apply freely
to the bites. 1t will relieve the irritation
and swelling at once. One application is
generally sufficient.
......H Hon. Montgomery Blair, brother of
Gen. Frank =. Blair, says that in 1864 the
General was offered the nomination for Vice
President upon the Republican ticket. He
very wisely declined it. So it seems that
the Republican party didn't always think
| COCOA mulatto woman by the name of
Banerd, living in La Crosse, Wis, gave
birth, on the 5th inst, to three children,
two Of which are white and one as black as
a coal. Here is mystery that will require
all the learning Of all the Swans of recon.
struction.
1.-THE New York Republican Commit.
tee have adopted resolution thanking the
Democracy for the nomination of Seymour
and Blair. A man was hanged in North
Carolina the other day who thanked the
sheriff for adjusting the moose and cap so
nicely.
1.-The chance Of carrying Kansas for
the Democracy improves every day. There
has been large emigration Of people there
who can read and think for themselves re-.
Gently, and the prospect is fair for reduc-
tion aud conquest of the slim Radical MA.
jority Of 1880 last year.
......The Sixteenth annual exhibition of
the Pennsylvania State Agricultural Society
will take place at Harrisburg, on Tuesday,
"Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, Septem.
Der 10Th, 30th, and October lst and I'd
The Premium List is quite comprehensive
"..... "Not man but was Democrat went
into rebellion" says the Albany Journal.
True for once. About 100000 Democrats
went into" the rebellion so successfully as
to end it in four years, which they would
have done in two but for Radical botch work
at Washington. And they are going into"
the Radical rebels with equal vim now.
..... Bishop Heber's missionary song has
recently received new version. 1t now
runs as follows:
From Greenland's icy mountains,
From India's coral strand,
Where Afric's sunny fountains
Roll down their golden sands;
10 every Southern river,
Shall negro suffrage come,
But not up in New England,
For that's too close to hum"
SOLOMON STUMP CALLS DAN SwIGART
OUT OF HIS OFFICE TO TELL Him. SoME-