New-York tribune., 1868-11-05
A DRlNd FOR TO-DAY.


The ready writer who transmOgrifed Ohen-
bach's latest smuttness into English, had the
ingenuity to introduce into the lbretto two or
three of our most celebrated vendors of patent
medicines by name thus: by its virtues with
out par S. Il. 1905 beat" &c, &C., &c.
Boldness like this Is encouraging to the critic,
and no doubt was found by the audience quite
"A pleasing as the bitters themselves. THIS KIND
of cotemporaneous freshness is precisely what
orr languishng comedy staggers in need
of. and we recommend the minstrel immedl-
ately TO try his hand at other popular medica-
ments. and to gather hints generally from
all the pacards which are affixed to
the fences and the dead walls. II our
Mr.. Crummleses did but dream never
so family of their own best policy, they would
offer enormous rewards for any play possessing
n shadow of local and living interest Suppose
that we had, for instance, an Aristophanes at
this moment, or even a Foote-what mex
pressibly droll farces might be manufactured
out of the material furnished by the rise and
fall. the swell and the collapse, the elevated
spirits and the depressed spirits, the fond an
ticipations and the dismal disappointments, the
ground and lofty tumbling of "the Democ-
"racy" during the late campaign! If Socrates
was put upon the stage, in spite of his
Acknowledged wisdom, why should not Mr..
Blair be made q character of, in spite OF his
acknowledged follyf In a very old play, Alex
ander the Great cuts fine figure over the flow
ing bowl, and there is some pretty tall drinking
in the last scene of Hamlet Then, too,
why should we not have " Bobadiln at the
theater, democratic Bobadil," Bobadil of
World wide reputation, putting to flight whole
armies upon arithmetical principles2 We en-
joy "Polonius" very much upon the stage--his
dotng his pothering, his pressing, and the
cunning which he takes for craftsmanship; but
have we not had "Polonius" in 1868, profess
ing and protesting, and making numerous
speeches with frequent shakes of the head,
many interposing mods. and all the other sure
indications of uncommon wsdomf IL you
want mere farce, pray what were the proceed
ings of the Democratic" National Convention
but farce from beginning to end We have
seen more than one campaign, but never
one before i'll which the antics of our
antagonists were so amazingly amusing. If
you want pastoral opera, is there not Mr.. Sey-
mour, an acknowledged swain, q gentleman
farmer capable of lecturing upon draining and
planting. and plowing, and grating, and
moving. and sub-soiling, and manuring, and
spading, and raking, and the rotation of crops7
What could be prettier than cottage scene
with the patriarch sitting at his door and
whistling to his cows-sitting there like veri-
table Damon in a straw-hat and q linen coat,
and receiving news of the elections with phil
osophical indifference And then what a
chance for novel properties! Mr.. Crummles di-
rected Nicholas Nickleby Ito manage to intro
"duce real pump and two washing -tubsn in
to the piece which he was writing, these
articles having lately been bought cheap
at SALE" The writer must be pretty
poor one if he cannot contrive to bring into
tho opera which we have in view, at least one
gigantic watermelon. We have the whole
scene i'll our minds eye already. ii. s. solus,
playing upon his oaten pipe. Enter WATER
MELON upon tho shoulders of six men. Great
fddling (tortissimo) by the orchestra. Chorus
See here this fruit " Grand aria. Horatio-
"'rs not for mew Chorus" Accept! Acceptm
Recitative, Horatio--" My friends, you do me
too much honor, when you bring to me this
noble watermelon. / cannot take it, for it is
too large for such rs l." Chorus" Accept!
"Acceptp IIoratio, Qf) 81 swear by the
bones of my grandfather that | will not !"
Chorus" You must accept" Horatio 81
swear by tho bones of my grandmother that
| will" (Aooepts)
Whom we can have scenes like these for the
modern DRAMA il seems To w absurd W 20