Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1868-04-30
THE REPUBLICAN.
mr.. HfIkfns gfres his objections
90 Girfs.
ny JOHN QUILL.


hired girls come into this house.
don't want any moro women about
It's bad enough to have You and th,
girl we've got fooling around, trying
to reconstruct this family into q petit
coatocracy, and getting up woman'i
rights conventions in the kitchen
without having another intelligence
office represented here by some red
headed siren, who will gorge herself
with my marketing, and then think
she is doing me personal kindness
to stay and keep the place"
"But you know, wilkins"
eyes, / know. ! know that dom
intend to have it. / know you arear
able-bodied woman, with muscle like
u hcathen gladiator, and such an alb
solute fitness for the wash-tub, that
am sorry | was ever fool enough tC
take you out of your normal sphere.
"Ain't you ashamed to talk that
"But you get none Of my revenue tC
pay wages with, mind that now. Why
don't you turn to yourself and do some
of the work, instead of loafng around
all day making signs to that aban
doned blackguard of a lawyer over
the way, who kisses his hand to you
when he knows I'm down town. III
smash the whole head Off"
"Mr. Wilkins, that's perfectly scan.
dalous--"
"No, / don't want any imported fe-
male around here, you know, making
a snug harbor of my house while she
is waiting for some atfectionate sport
or other to court her, and having her
spotting the milkman and trying to
kindle flame in his bosom, and keep
ing the front door open every morning
and freezing the family while she
sparks him. Not much, / say; no
emigrant shall locate around here and
take snlfters ont of my cooking wine
and ale, until she gets as tight as the
money market, and goes TO sprawling
around in the. parlor when we have
company. / like to see girl sociable,
but don't want to see the thing run
in the mud, you understand p
"Mr. Wilkins, you talk like a."
81 say it's against my principles to
encourage any class of women who 20
around the house absorbing promis.
cuously dry goods. l don't want any
more weak sisters brought here to
annex my handkerchiefs, and TO be
constantly making Christmas presents
Of my shirts TO their relations. No
exile Of Erin shall meander around in
my clothes, if l can help it, do you
understand and ] don't intend that
any Genius Of Liberty who wears
number nine brogans, and doesn't
change her socks than once per
annum, shall stand up on the outside
of my front windows and pretend to
wash them, while she sonses water
down on every new hat that she gets
a chance att
"Mr. Wilkins, no girl ever"
"No, and I'm not anyways anxious
to have any female around who alb
serbs all my remarks at the table, and
then takes a broom, under miserable
pretense Of sweeping, and gets out
and holds conversation in the back
alley with the girl next door, who
tells her folks, and they tell the peo.
pie talked aboat, and the first thing
you know Pm engaged in the manly
art of selfdcfense with some man or
other, and very likely come home with
black eye and a bloody nose"
"But Wilkins, you needn't"
'1m reasonable man, Mrs. Will
kins, but I'll be hanged if I'm going
to spend my cash supporting viva
cious female, who never does stroke
of work, but who goesforaging around
in the cellar altering whole pies at q
single bite into the shape of the new
moon and very likely blowing out the
gas and filling TIE house with it, and
running the risk of lifting the whole
concern up like balloon, and floating
it off into space. won't submit to
it; l don't care about going up yet.
I'm no second advent man, I'd like
you to observe"
"There's no danger of any SUCH"
"But ! tell you there is danger.
There's danger that some Of my inno-
cent and joyous children viii have
their young affection blighted for life,
actually blighted for life, Mrs Wilkins.
1t was only last Monday that our pres
ont hired girl told me that Bucephau-
lus Alexander had been sending her
valentines stating that if she loved
him as he loved her, no lxnifo could
cut their love in two, or words TO that
effect, and representing two hearts
hung on q strait fish hook with gravy
dropping from them; and she said
that while she was wrin ging out the
clothes that boy suddenly fell on his
knees as though he had the cramp,
and insisted that she should come, oh,
comewith him, the moon was boaming,
and behaving generally like such n
chronic, unqucstionablc iackass, that
she fetched him u wipe over the coun-
tenance with wet shirt, and one Of
the buttons like to put his eye out ;
and besides"
"Pshaw, Mr.. Wilkins, you talk like
a simple"
"And besides, there's Holofernes
Montgomery; only last night he stood
outiin the slushhndernoathhe her window
and tried TO sing something about com
ing where his love lies dreaming, so
that Smith next door, he fred away
over his fence with his bull pup under
the impression it was cats, and camo
near making an awful example out Of
that boy by gripping him for life.
Do you think I'm going to encourage
that sort of thing any longer Well,
e.