The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-09-11
Sp0re Ltnes.


Tight fit-delirium tremens.
High socie,y-The Arctic Circle.
Right in the main-mid. ocean.
A bump,uous fellows pl'renologist.
Lost cause"-a dead crow.
Color blind-admircrs Of the greenback
policy.
A work Of ara widow trying to get a
husband.
United States securities-vo.es for Gen.
Grant.
A grave ENTHUSIASTICALLY burying a
IMAM alive.
The appropriation claws-a pick.poek-
cts fingers.
We arc born crying, 1.-Two complaining,
and lie Disappointed.
The best horn-horn OF plenty; the
worst-horn Of whisky.
Some ladies' use pain, as fddlers do ros-
into aid them in drawing bow.
The gentleman who was set on fire by n
baseball match, was put out ut the first
base.
When men get TO be hard cases above
ground, they had better be in hard cuses
under L.
Mad men almost invariably take to liquor;
and if they have wife they almost always
lick her also.
o. w. Holmes says eusy-crying widows
take new husbands soonest there Is moth.
ing like wet weather for transplanting.
WASTE Of wealth may be retrieved
waste Of health rarely; waste Of time
never.
Qnilp, who has heretofore been Univer
salist, now believes there are two things
destined to I've externally lost-his umbrella,
and the man who stole il.
Judges charge jurors, but lawyers charge
men. Judges get salary, and lawyers
what they can and it is pretty full can
sometimes.
show is your husband this afternoon,
Mrs. Squiggs?' awhy the doctor says as
how if he lives Till mornin'. he shall have
some hopes Of him hut if he don't, ha is
aicared he must give him up"
People that are counting think they sec
the happiest couple in creation when they
look into the glass. Halfa dozen years af.
forwards sometimes they think they see
nothing but two great fools.
A cynical wag seeing on tho tomb Of a
wife, whom hs knaw to be shrew in lie
the inscription, 81 shall rise again." added
the words, "but don't tell my poor husband
oft"
In 1860, Blair, in campaign speech,
pronounced the Democratic party "ihe
mos, miserable and corrupt party that ever
existed" And now, after having got into
u, he was never 20 much at home.
Young men are never moro mistaken
than when they suppose lamp posts arc in
competent to stana alone. The frelucu,
assistance profisred, especially at midnight
hours, 10 q curious exhibition Of misapplied
aid.
"Sambo, wy arm dat Niger down dar in
the hole Of de boat like chicken in dc
egg ?"
IL gives um up"
"Beause 10 couldn't get out liz wasn't
for do hatch"
At debating society, the subject was
(Which 10 the swesiest production, girls OF
strawberries - continuing tho argu-
ment for two nights, the meeting finally
adjourned without coming to any eonclu.
sion-the old ones going for tho strawber.
ries, and the young ones for tho girls.
Nothing annoys man moro than to be
eagerly questioned when he comes home
tired. Give him neatly served dinner, OF
pair Of easy clippers and q cup Of tea,
and let him cot and drink in peace, and In
time he viii tell you, Of his own proper
motion, al you wish to know. But if you
begin the atiack too soon, tho chances are
that YOU will he rewarded by curly spoken
monosyllables. Put down that piece Of
wisdom In your notebook, girls; Il will
serve you we'll some day. -