The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-03-06
HUoMRoUs.

A TIGHT place "A drinking sa-
loon. ry $3.50 aaa
"OH, that my father was seized
with a remittent feverl" sighed
young spendthrift at college.
THE reason we admire pretty feet.
Because all's well that ends we'll.
WHATEVER the advance in the
price of liquors, they are, unfortu-
nateiy, always going down.
WHAT lady's name is spelled back
ward and forward the same2 Eve.
WHAT class Of women are most apt
to give tone to society? The bellies.
WHAT time is that which, spelt
backward and forward is the same?
Noon.
WHEN is a man justified in calling
his wife honey? , When she is bee
loved.
WHY is a galvanic battery like a
murder? Because it Is a shocking
affair.
CHANGE for the worse-A fellow
who has been complained Of for ly-
ing around loose, concluded to go
about tight
A YOUNG man who is desperately
! in love, says that he has been electri-
fed with a gal-Yanic battery.
How may you keep eggs from spoil
ing? BY eating them while they're
fresh. .E
WHY are people who stutter not to
/ be relied on? Because they are al
ways breaking their word.
WHAT did the spider do when he
came out of the ark? He took q fly
and went home. Y4- .a
NIGGLEBY agrees with the popular
saw that charity begins at home, and
he keeps it there.
WHAT portion of a ehild's dress is
that which spelled forward and back
ward Is the same? Bib.
A GIRL with a ringing laugh, T"
caused an alarm of fire in Peoria.
They took her for belle.
A BALTIMORE clergyman is lectur-
ing on the advantages of the modern
dance" A sprightly fellow.
WHAT female recluse is that whose
name read backward and forward is
the same? Nun.
WHlr lady-like designation is that
which spelled forward and backward
is the same? Madam.
| ENT-sATIoNAL-A Boston church
took up a heavy collection last Sun
IL kbOucoDd nonnIas
A WESTERN editor says that the
gas In the city is so bad that the man
who puts it out has to carry a lantern
to Gnd the lamp posts.
WHAT is everybody doing at the
same time? Growing old.
WHAT IS the difference between an
old dime and a new penny? Nine
cents.
WHY is a blush like little girl?
Because it becomes woman.
If beauty draws US by a single
hair who can withstand modern
MATERIALLY
ADVICE to parties In doubt whether
to buy or hire a house: OF two houses
choose the leased.
"IsAY, Glen" cried two 9isputing
darkies, appealing for decision to q
sable umpire, which word is right
di-zaetly. or de-zactly?" The sable
I umpire reflected a moment, and then,
with a look of wisdom, said, can't
tell pre-zactly."
THERE is humorous disciple Of
St. Crispin in VermOntWho announces
himself as Shoemaker to his Honor
the Lord Mayor Of Veagennes.
Cough, you remember, tells of man
in London whose. sign reads
: Brooches maker to the Queen pm
THE Boston Post tells Of a way
farer of such excessive politeness tina
: he apologized to the slippery sidewalk
for falling upon it. Perhaps 1t wa
patriotism instead Of politeness that
inspired the apology; and the luck.
/ less wight may have merely designed
L to show his respect to the flag OF
!. whcih he fell
4 WHY is thief your only true phi
: losopher? Because he regards every
I. thing from an abstract point of view
is opposed to all notions Of protec
ton, and is open to conviction.