The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1868-12-02

door bell. .,..
"Crqation thcrc's that abomina-
bio bell again. I wish fol is would
stay at homeE I'll<loclc, all tho
doors; and cut all. tho bcll-wiros,
after today" ".~'' {.
] |S1sAt tho 1doorho found Mr." and
Mrs. Fidgot and their children.
I I My dear Mr., Keith !how do you
do? cried Mrs. Fidgct. "Wo wcro
\ lin town, and thought we'd just
step into dinner. Whero is Mrs.
Keith ?" p, Il n.,., ..r..
"Sho's gono away" said Keith,
Iruefully, wonderingwhat he should
feed on; "walk in do. I am tho
houscltccpcr today -, T.. .M
eyes, SO I should judge. But of
course you makc,a splendid one.
[ remember you used to bo frc-
qucntly telling Mrs. Keith and
mysclfhow very easy housckcep.
ing must be. 1t, must bc mere
play to you. Don't put yourself
opJ I beg"
"'"Put myself out, indccd," cried
Keith, retreating to the kitchen.
"Ctood gracious! what shall L do I?
I'd give a hundred dollars if Mary
was only here! Who're shall l be-
gin ?" =. '.ji.E~
IIo drow out tho table and set
it without any cloth; then took off
tho plates and put on a cloth, the
very one he had wiped the dishes
on. The task completed, he put
on some moro potatoes and somo
steak burned tho steak to Gin
dor; took off his ;4potatocs when
he did his .mcat, and put all upon
the table. There was loaf OF
bakers bread; hcparaded that, and
called his guests to dinner.
a. quizzical smile spread over
Mrs. Fidyct's face at the sight Of
the. .repaSt Keith Mas in IL cold
pcrspiration.
"Nla, my plates all greasy, and
SOS my knife. i can't cnt on dirty
dishcs,' cried little Johnny l'idgct.
"!And my fork is wet all over
with water that's dropping off the
table cloth and my later amt
halfbilcd,' cried Iii lie Jane Fidgct.
a slight noise in tho kitchen
drew the attention OF Mr. Keith.
"Jupiter % cried he, elf Mrs.
O'Flahcrty's dos ain'L making Off
with my stcak!"
Hc jumped from tho table and
started in hot pursuit. Tho dog
made the best Of it; Mr.. Kcith's
unaccustomcd attire was q sad
drawback, and he made but little
hcadway.
"KiIl him." he yelled to tho
crowd that joined in tho pursuit.
"l'll give fifteen dollars for his
hide. -
Mrs. O'Flahcrty herself ap-
pcarcd on the scene with u skillet
of hot water.
"rcch if ycr darcp she cried.
"I'll break the bones Of every mo-
|;thcrs son Of yccs. Stand from
>fcrninst or yc'll rue the day."
Keith took q step forward,
stepped on his skirt, and pitched
head first into q vino cellar, where
half " dozon men were playing
cards. ..
:"rho devil IN apctticoats p cx.
claimed one gamcstcr, and the
place cmpticd quicker than a wink.
The police picked up Mr.. Keith,
considerably bruised, and carried
him home. Ills company had
taken their departure, and some
body, not having the fear Of tho
law upon them, had entered and
stolen a hundred dollars worth Of
property.
MIR. Keith scnt tho following
note to his wife by evening mail
DEAR MARY: Como homo {; /
give up beat. A woman has a
great deal to do. / confess my
solfincompctcnt to manage. Como
home, and you shall havo a now
silk dress, and daughter Of Erin
to divide your labors. Yours, dis
consolatcly, II. KEITH.
Thcro is o volunteer company in
Nov, York, numbering seventy
mon, mono Of whom have boards
less than g. foot in I,nrih .FNbo