The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-07-23

book.
A returned Californian found the baby
he had left at home miss of five sum-
mers. One day he offended her and she
exclaimed: 81 wish you had never mar
ried into the family"
The young lady who has keen telling
how she felt when her lover first kissed
her, is requested to state how she felt the
first time she was spanked,
| claspcd her hand in mine
/ clasped her beauteous form;
| vowed to shield her from the wind
And from the worlds cold storm.
She fixed her beauteOus eyes on me
The tears did wildly flow;
But with her lips she said to me,
"Confound you, let me CO."
"How many steady, regular boarders
are there in this house :" asked census
takcr ST a servant girl. "There's fifteen
boarders in all, sir, but not more than four
of them is steady persons"
A loye-sick swain, in order to more full
ly understand the mind of his lady-love,
closed letter with the following lines
If you was dog,
And | was hog,
A rootin' away in the yard;
If the old man should say,
"Drive that hog away"
Would you worry or bite very hard!
A bashful young man in Delaware, who
was afraid to propose to his sweetheart,
induced her to fire at him with a pistol,
which he assured her was loaded only with
powder, and after she had done 50, fell
down and pretended to be dead. She
threw herself wildly upon the body, call
ing him her darling and her beloved,
whereupon he got up and married her.
Ara5o once confidently announced that
a big comet that was approaching the
earth would not destroy it. "How
do you know? :" he was asked. 81 do not
know" he replied, "but in either case l
am safe. If it does not knock the world
to pieces shall be considered prophet,
and fit does they can't blow me up in the
papers"
A young lady once blew her lover out
of doors and kissed the candle.
A young lady who had lost or mislaid
her beau was advised to hang up her fid-
die. She said the advice did great viz
lence to her heart-strings.
"What are you looking after, my daugh-
ter Z" said an old gentleman at a Christ
mas party. 'Looking after son-in-law
for you, father" was the witty reply.
In Curran's last illness, his physician
observing in the morning that he seemed
to cough with more difficulty, he answered,
"That is rather surprising, as | have been
practicing all night"
Diggs saw note lying on the ground,
but knewit was a counterfeit, and walked
on without picking it up. He told Smith
ers the story, when the latter said, "Do
you know, Diggs, you have committed a
very grave offence?" "Why, what have
I done?'' "You have passed counter
felt bill, knowing it to be such" said Smi-
theirs, without a smile, and fed.
In speech on behalf of blind asylum
an English orator once remarked, eff all
the world were blind, what melancholy
sight it would bep'
"Ma, if you will give me an apple,
Willie good" "No, my child, you must
non be good for pay-you ought to BE-
be good for nothing"
Adam is claimed as having belonged to
the fraternity Of provision dealers, as he
early engaged in disposing of spare ribs
An editor down South apologies fol
delay in the issue of his paper, as he had
an extra "male" to attend to during The
week.
The following conclusion to the life O
Robespierre appeared in London paper
"This extraordinary man left no children
behind him except his brother, who wal
killed at the same time.