Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-01-04

An amusing incident occurred in one Of
the churches of Philadelphia, last Sunday
evening. An old lady, whose failing ewes
demanded an unusually large orayer book,
started Tor church little early. Stopping
on the way to call on a friend, she laid her
prayer book on the center table, When the
bells began TO chime, she snstched what
she supposed to be her prayer book, and
started for church. Her seat was in tho
chancel end of the gallery. The organ
ceased playing-the minister read
The Lord is in holy temple, let all the
earth keep silence before him"
In an effort to open her supposed PRAYER
book, she started the spring of the music
box, which she had taken instead 1t began
to play-in her consteTnstion she put it on
the floor. 1t would not stop she put it on
the seat; it sounded louder than ever
Finally she carried it out while it played
'Lannigan's Ball"
Some time ago the Rev. Mr.. Spurgeon
preached a sermon on the text And Mary
wept.' In the midst of the stream of earnest
c!oqucnce that drew tears from many of
those present, in describing the character of
the tears shed by Mary over the feet of Je-
sus, he broke suddenly off. and turning TO
his Congregation, exclaimed: THE tears
which Mary shed were not such tears as
many OF you pour out when you come to
this alter. They came from her heart--thev
were tears of bloOd-and not the poor stuff
that you present Ms an offering to an offend.
ed God Then leaning over the pulpit,
and looking earnestly in the sea of upturued
faces, he exclaimed, There are some OF yor
for whose ,eags would not give farthing
Il Quart
There vas dry old fellow out in JefTer.
son county, in this State, who called one
day on the member of Congress elect. The
family were at breakfast, and the old man
was not in decent trim to be invited to
sit by; but he was hungry, and determined
to get an invitation.
What's the news2' inquired the Con-
gresham.
Nothing much, but one of my neighbors
gave his child such queer name"
"Ah and what name was that Z"
"Why come and Eat"
The name wss so peculiar that it was
repeated
CONE AND EAT"
Yes, thank you," said the old man.
II don't care if do" and drew up to the
table
THE MosT INTERESTED PARTY.-A couple
had not quarreled during the whole long
term of their married life. At last the hus.
band was taken i'll and evidently about 10
die. His wife came to his bedside, where,
after she had seen his condition, the follow
ing coloquy ensucd:
IVY, daddy, your feet are cold, and your
hands are cold. aud your nose is cold -"
"Wa'al, let um be cold !"
IVY, daddy. you're going to die" |"
"Wa'al guess know wot I'm bout :"
Wy, daddy, watts to becum of me if you
die?
Dunno, and don't care Wat want 10
know is, what's 10 becum of mel"
SGuib says he sat down to Christmas
table where there were thirteen turkey goh.
blers. Only one of them was cooked
Mrs. jenkins complained in the evening
that the turkey she had eaten at Christmas
did not set well. Probably, ;" said jenkins,
"it was not hen turkey" He got glass
of water in his face.
A clergyman in Sheffield asked some
children, why do We say, in the Lord.
prayer, who art in heaven since god Ia
everywhere" He saw little drummer
who looked as If he could give An answer,
and turned to him for it. We'll little sol.
dier, what say your because i,s head,
quarters
When good wife had prepared an es.
cellent dinner for her husband, and he had
declared he liked it, she said: We'll, kiss
me, then" "Oh, never mind that, nv
dear" WAS his reply. The necessities Of
life we must have, but the luxuries We can
dispense with.
"Von night dc oder day ven was bin
awake in myShleep, hear someting vat l
links was not vest rite in my barn, and |
yust out shumps tn bed and runs nit de
parn out, and ven vas dere COON | sees vat
my pig gray iron mare he vas been tied
loose and runs nit de stable off, aud ever
who will him bach bring, yust so much
pay him as vat bin cushtomury"
"Why, George, what are you hoeing in
the garden for at this lime of night ~ We'll
! was awful dry, mother, and don't tho
Bible say "Ho, every one that thirsteth p
clergyman announcing lecture on