Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-01-16
TrooIy yours til deth, .9T9ni
.H51- ARTRMuS WARD.'"'
A wedding NIghs Shirt.

1t wasn't hardly the fair thing that
the boys did to Joe Thompson the night
he was married, but the temptation was
irresistible. They couldn't have helped
it to have saved their lives. I'll tell you
how it was. daiii +. It ...-ssgnsis 6a0il
Joe was about the most fancy dressed
buck in the town-over nice and partic-
ular-a perfect Miss Nancy in manners,
always putting on airs, and more dainty
and modest than girl. Well, when his
wedding night came, he was dressed
trunk empty, and his pants especially
fitted him as if they had been moulds
and his legs candles, and run into them.
Tight was no name for them. Their set
was immense, and he was prouder than
half dozen peacocks. aito b9
"Aren't they nice, boys p he asked
Of the two who were to be groomsmen
and see that he threw himself away af-
ter the most approved fashion,
Stunning gorgeous!" replied Tom
Bennett. !" Never saw anything equal
to them. But, I say. joe, aren't they
just the least bit tight 1t strikes me
that you will have some difficulty in
bending, won't you ?''1 Si'' = .a5;i.. ls i'..'s'
"Pshaw, no they are as easy as an
old glo 7e. See!" l5asaap
TO prove the matter he bent down so
as to touch his patent feathers, when
crack, crack, followed like, the twin re-
ports of revolver. 9s3 a0l1 III
"Thunder! I" exclaimed Joe, as he put
his hands behind, and found rent in the
cashmere from stem to stern. "Thun-
der! the pants have burst, and what shall
I dog" - -sisat-i 2 .''ani1ast ~ Z -l''7i
"I should rather think they had,"
answered Tom,. getting purple in the
face, as he endeavored to control o his
laughter. "But there is no time to get
another pair. It only wants half an
hour to the standing up time, and we
have got mile to go. Carriage wait
ing, too." h-sseS
shall do; what shalfI do ?"
"I'll tell you what, if mine would fit
you, you should have them in welcome,
but they are about a mile too big; would
set like shirt on bean pole. I see
no way but to have them mended."
"Well, i am something of tailor,
and can fix them so that they won't
show. Hold on minute, and I'll get
a needle and thread"
"Can you2 May heaven bless you!"
"Of with your coat" commanded
Tom, as he came back. ~ gea ~
"Now. lay yourself over on the bed,
and will fix you in short ORDER
The command was obeyed the pants
mended; the coat tails carefully pinned
over, so as to conceal the distress for
rent" and all went merry as a marriage
bell, until Joe followed his blushing
bride to the nuptial couch
There was only a dim lightin the room.
but it enabled Joe, as he glanced BASH
fully around, to see the sweetest face in
the world, the rosy cheeks and ripe lips.
the lovely and loving blue eyes. and the
golden curls just peeping from out the
snowy sheets, and he extinguished it al
together, and hastened to disrobe him
self. Off came coat, vest, fancy neck tie
and collar, boots and socks, in hurry,
but somehow the pants stuck. The
more he tried the more they wouldn't
come, and he hugged vainly for half an
hour. 1..ao is-s..5 ~, 80 2
i" Thunder! muttered Joe.
"What is the matter, dear?'' came in
the softest of accents from the bed
where somebody was wondering if he
was ever going to come to her arms.
1t was moment of desperation Joe
was entirely overcome by the situation
and, forgetting his accustomed bashful'
nrss, blnrted out
"Moll, that cursed Tom Bennett has
sewed my parts, drawers, shirt and un-
dershirt all together!''
"Iti is too bad. Wait a. moment, my
dear" -
A little stockingless foot peeped out
first, then a rufled night-dress, the lamp
was lighted, a pair of scissors found
Joe released, and, although he denies it
Tom Bennett swears that his wedding
shirt was of the shortest possible extent
reasoning a posteriori. '1