New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1868-12-08
NASH r.
Mr.. Nasty Suggests n Haven Of Rest for
the Distressed BOuls Who are In Dan
ger OF Losing their Places.

the Distressed sOuls Who are In Dan
ger OF Losing their Places
WASHINGTON November Is, 1868.
We he'd meetin in Washington last mite
to consider things. There are many things
to consider Jest now, and it wuz deemed
proper to consider EN-. 1t wuz lodge Nv
sorrow. Their wuz faint glimmerins Nv
hope onto the countenances Nv few NV
those present, but ncthin NV certinty-
nothiu Nv ashoorance. Secretary Randall
remarkt that so far ez he was concerned he
he'd made up his mind. He shood not
take offs under the incomin administrs-
shun. He mite yeeld in other matters (tor
he wuz nv yielding nscherl, but on this
he wuz infexible. McCulloch and Brown
ing were also determined, but Seward he'd
other idees. He chirped in that the old
est man coodent tell wat sixty days wood
bring forth.
wat shall we do" askt postmaster
from Ohio.
~ sejest for President Johnson sed
Randall, shat he apply for the Spanish
throne. He wood be acceptable to the
Spanish people, for he hez all his life been
putin the Bourbon down !"
Randall hez no longer any fear Nv the
President.
Gentlemen" remarkt l, 81 hev an idea,
witch if acted onto will pull US out Nv our
sea Nv troubles.n
Speak" exclaimed they all with one
| breath, speak"
"My idea is Cuba. Cuba, the gem nv
the Antilles-the brightest jewel in the
o~-vn nv Spain. Let Secretary Seward,
VINO nee talent for reel estate, buy it now
before the new Governmeltt has its internal
revenue establish and while it is hard up for
money. Let Cuba be the politikle Botany
Bay Nv this country. Let it be bought by
Seward and then let the President 90 to
work to wunst film offisis for its govern
ment while be still hez the power Nv ap-
pintment. He must not wait to hev 'em
hold eleckshuns, for we alluz succeed bet
ter in gettin offisis by appointment than by
eleekshuns Wat a Heaven | see open
before us. l hey been readin Cuba up,
and 1 find that that Island pays the
Home Government s25,00000O per an
mum. If the Spanish Government kin git
SIS 100000 out Nv em, we kin double it
with our experience. There's enuff for all
Nv us. Give Randall place correspondent
with that he now holds; make Ben Wood
Superintendent Nv the Havana lotteries;
make Frank P. suthin else, wat it don't
matter, ez he'll take anything; make good
places for Ross, Fullerton. Binkley, Mrs
Cobb, Vallandighem, Brite, Mrs. Perry,
John Quincy Adams, Jr., Frank Peerce,
Ginral Forrest, jim Steedman, Rosso, Doc
little, Cowan, Dixon, Secretary Welles and
all Nv that unnumbered throng Nv hungry
soles who hev lived on pap so long that
any other diet sours on their stumiks And
them
"But sposin Congress. when it meets re-
fooses to ratify the purchis by maxim an
appropriation p askt doubter.
"Refooze to make the appropriashun
Refooze Ha! Put before General Grant
the prospeck Nv never agin seein the Blair
family-put afore Congress and the Ameri-
kin people the hope nv never seeing agin
the faces nv any Nv the men hev men,
shun'd, with the thousand Nv others NV
similar tastes, habits and necessities, and
wat wood twenty or thirty millions, more
or less, be to emf Noihin! Congress
wood vote it instantaneously and the peo-
pie would all say "Amen" Lord, how
quick the bill wood go through, and how
quick Grant wood sign it.,
"But sposE Congress shOod refoose, wat
then? Jest ez well. The Blairs wood hev
their posishuns, and the Cuban officials, eff
they are versed in American politikle his
tory, know, ef they know anything, that
when the Blairs get into place, nothin but
death loosens EN-. We shood hist the ban
ner NV Independence--we shood paint onto
that banner the inscripshen; "Offises for
All, in q Country where Likker is not
Taxed y and 10 a weeks time an army NV
Dimokrats, big enuff to capcher Spain her
self wood be on them shoresl And who
could stand afore emf Whisper "Post
Oliis" in their ears, and they'd wade knee
deep In blood. Lord, how the Spanish
soljery wood go down afore 'em? How
Frank Blair wood 60 for Lersundi how
all the trained cohorts nv democracy witch
hev ben abstainin from offs so many years,
wood risk their all for taste NV the sweets
Nv posishen! III
eOh! The deIishusnes of the prospeck
Think Of an Hand with nigaers enuff onto it
to do our labor, and enutf white Cubans
who cant read to vote for us Why. it
wood recall Teeollections ov them happy
days before the war when the Democracy
wuz thus constitocted. 1 hunger and thirst
for SIGH.
Roll swiftly round, ye wheels Of time,
And bring the happy day.
"Then Ginral Grant can have peecei
Then be wood only hev the Ablishnists on
DIS hands Then the niggers Of the United
states mite hev suffrage, for 1t wood make
no difference TO Va. We wood hev ofisis
to live onto, and pure Triggers to look down
upon, and wat more Good we vvant9
The only difference wood be, we wood
hev to aecustom our etamicks 10 Santa
Cruz rum In place Nv WHISKY bat fhat w
Good do. The effect upon the bowels ID
the same--it differs only in taste, and 1 an
told that when both are new there ANT
much difference 10 that" ,
The segestion wuz favorably received
and hev no doubtit will Re acted upon.
Ef It is--but why this ~iE'' 1t must be
done 1T shell be.
PETROLEUM F.NASBY, P. M
(wieh is Pestmasser.)