The Union flag. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1865-187?, 1868-05-22
Now Tom Reused Her.

| Inc Wlte OF IOm G0rQ0n l9 VIC
tim to imaginary ailments, and is new
or so content as when living according
to her medical adviser DR.. Valen-
tine now understands her whims and
oddoties so well that he humors her
in every caprice; if she imaginos
rheumatism in her complaint, no
agrees with her, and prescribes some
harmless potion if she thinks her
appetite decreasing, somo bread pills
keep her in good spirits until the fan
cied symptoms Of some other disease
induce her to pepd again for him.
During the last four years Tom has
often wished that his wife would roll
down stairs and break her foolish
head, for the reason that the physi-
clans and apothecary's bills make
serious inroad upon his fortune
About three months ago she COM
planned of a pain in her side, and, as
usual the doctor was summoned. AL
ter prescribing two or three bottles Of
different compound, all harmless but
rather expensive, he said
"All you want to assist medicine in
effccting cure is a little rogsing. AL
though your ailment is serious, it is
not dangerous. Assume little ener-
gy and you will reeovor.-Remember,
rouse yourself"
After tho doctor had retired, the
patient fancied that at last some So
rious disease was beginning to mani
fest itsolf, ard like o fool, she went 10
bed in despair.
Tom understood the case thorough
ly, from long experience, and said
mentally:
"Sbe wants rousing, docs she +?
Well, III give her o asurprise that will
startle her."
Mrs Hake, an attractive widow,
was engaged to act in the capacity of
nurse to Mrs. G. The widow is young,
buxom, amiable, and. Tom thought
her attractive qualities might be made
available in giving the patient tho
necessary rousing. tik
A short consultation with Mrs.
Hake resulted in the arrangement of
plan, the execution of which was TO
induce Mrs. G.. to forever afterwards
throw physic to the dogs.
Late in the next evening, while the
patient was fretting and groaning, and
announcing her intention of giving up
the ghost, Tom called Mrs. Hake
aside and said to her in a pretended
whisper, but loud enough to be heard
by the invalid: HP
Poor Fanny sho'is about to die at
last, and so you and may as
well arrange for our marriage"
Tom threw a glance over his shoul-
der as be spoke, and observed that tho
dying patiert ceased her groaninga
began to rouse herself. Arising qnick-
ly to q sitting posture in the bed to
note every word of tho conversation,
she stared at them with eyes as big
as small onions boiled.
"Twill be relief to her." coniin-
ued Yom, for she has always been
an invalid. j, too have suffered as
we'll as she; but with you, the pic
ture OF health, ae my vile, happiness
would be complete"
The widow threw herself upon
Toms shoulder, her arms about his
neck, and began to chew bis vest in
mouthfuls 10 smother her laughter.
How soon shall we get married
aftor she is dead p asked Tom, pass
ing his arm around the widows sub
stantial waist.
al suppose yon will be willing to
wait week or two ?" simpered Mrs.
Hake, as she leaned her head on his
shoulder and took another mouthful
of vest.
The invalid uttered an exclamation
and landed on the floor.
" You think | am going to die, do
you Z" she exclaimed. an live to
spite you both And for you" she
turned and grasped Mrs. Hako by tho
hair" out of my house, you design
ing vixen III act as my own nurse
hereafter"
From that day to this, Mrs. G. has
enjoyed good health, and Tom has en-
ioyed good spirits, because he bas
not had doctors bill to pay. He
knew how to cure her; for she only
needed rousing and Tom reused her.
.Ltt.L.I T..