The Waynesburg Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 1867-18??, 1868-02-19
erl l can skate ! Anybody can

anybody else can do; accepted d.
mity'schallenge, and her practice on
ice. So 1 bounced up from that
blacking box, lifted left foot little,
bent right knee, and stuck my arms
akimbo, but | didn't cut a curve. /
did the next best thing, however, and
cut sspread eagle" Port foot slid
due southeast, and starboard one
northwest, till l realized those
spreadout pictorial impossibilities on
circus bills. wondered if my boots
and skates would ever become ship
mates again.
"lIallo, mister! mustn't try to skate
all over both sides of this ere pond at
oncew growled an old commercial
looking chap, as he checked up enough
to put in the remonstrance against my
ice monopoly.
81 say, Mister Saltwater, couldn't
yer lift yerself amidships a bit, so we
tun sail tween yer legs" piped a
young scamp, file leader to twenty
| juvenile skaters.
"Don't try to skate on both feet at
once, my dear sir." advised sensible,
Christian looking man, who came to
my assistance and set me on an even
keel once more. "When you lift one
foot, sir, you must throw all your
vigor and muscle into the other limb.
And then remember to sway your
body so that your weight will always
BE- on that foot which hits the ice.
'ris very easy, sir-just this wayl"
and away went my Christian mentor,
with a long, stri ling, graceful swing.
90, yes, that's very easy. All the
vigor in the other limb. Yes, I can
do it" So l made a prodigious scoot
and-dil it'll
stuck out left leg, like a mosquito
when he's blood-sucking. Put all my
vigor and muscle into the right limb,
and couldn't get it ont again. Went
oil on one foot like a shot crooked
right knee twice a minute, just as lit
tie Dimity did. Saw crinoline craft
crossing my course under convoy of a
big double banked craft, both skating
like a streak. Tried to shear to port
and go clear of 'em. Missed stays,
and went afoul of crinoline. The toe
o my port sklte ho)kel Mis-; S,ma-
DO ly's skirt, which give me a broad
sh .er to star5 ,arl, AMI | rammel big
convoy, butting him square ON his cut
water, and drove the live end of Prin-
cipe slap down his throat. There was
an everlasting tangle, and all hands
went sprawling on the ice, like nest
Of lneauga Island crabs.
Look here, sir! what do you
mean?' yelled the big convoy, scramb-
ling to his feet, and maneuvering for a
broadside.
"Bcg pardon, sir, ! couldn't help
i'll" | replied meekly, sitting on the
ice.
"Conldn't help it? Why, didn't
you stop"
Didn't know how"
"Oh, ho! green on skates, ch?"
"Yes, greener'n a cabblse"
That modified the biz chap, and
setting me on my pins again, he vol
untcered to educate me in checking
up
"Oh, yes, l can do that !" and | did
directly. OF shot again on one leg,
steering this time for the shore for
I'd skated enough.
Half way in, and there slid right
down in my course a crowd of forty
or so-girls and men, and women and
boys. | tried "down brakes" acco.-
ling to Instructions; and broke too
much. Up toes, and digging my heel,
into the ice, l saggc.l back like, and
doubled amid-ships, as if was gong
10 take a seat-ani | did! | went
down stern foremost, and with whang
that broke the ice like a pane of win
dow gass shiverel by a pebble hurled
through it.
had an ilea just then, that such a
bump as that would have started the
armor Of any iron-clad ahoat.
sold those internal skate; Just as I
sat, for four dollars, under strong
conviction that there's no fun in skat-
ing. Its all humbag. can't skate
i don't want to.