The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-05-17
Love Busfneas.
KIND LOOKS AND LITTLE OR SorHNGs."
From the Argosy for April ]

HNSN~
From the ArgOsy for APRIL
"With women the great business of life islove,"
says Hazlitt, and they generally make mistake
IN it." lTlsh TO know why this latter clause IS
true.
In the first place believe there is at the bot
tom very subtle, but acknowledged antagonism
between man and woman, which has been
scotched somewhat by the progress OF civilization
and chivalry, but which is too deeply rooted not
TO crop up here aud there in all sorts OF unex.
pected forms. There is very little true trust and
tenderness existing between them; but there 10 an
almost universal disbelief in the strength and en-
durance Of each others emotions, whenever those
emotions trench upon the sphere Of the affection.
Read any mans writings, from Chsucer or
Shakespeare downward, and you ind running
through them a SCOT and sneer, scarcely con-
scious, and therefore the more natural, against
the idea of real constancy and love in woman.
Listen 10 any woman's talk, and sooner or later
she will let slip the melancholy sentiment of the
Psalmist, Gan men are liars" or at least the
milder rendering Of said passage, GAN men fail
men There is as much antagonism implied be-
tween "msle and female" as between Jew and
Greek; bond and free.n .........
There are two mistakes which women are apt
to make in the outset of their business which tend
to a very pitisble bankruptcy. In few cases she
may remain perfectly unconscious of the advances
of any lover until after the lapse Of months, or
even years, she is suddenly surprised and con-
founded by an utterly unexpected offer.
Charlotte Bronte, who, as one would suppose,
was all shame with the passion which
peryades her writings, was loved for years
without suspectDg 1t, until like lightning she
says, cit flashed upon me-" But this mistake is
at once less common and less perious than its OPP
posite. What can surpass the absurdity, the
chsgrin, the modification. the heartsickness
herself upon the hope that advances are being
made to her. when, Ia truth, the supposed suitor
had no serious intentions at AL!
What are advances, and when are men making
of "
says Sterne, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so
vague as TO be misunderstood, with now and then
a look of kindness, and little or nothing said
upon it."
That is q mans answer to my question; the
simplest and most Straightforward can find, after
q long and careful research. And what a depth
Of cunning and discretion there is in ii not too
pointed, that the mans honor may be bound by
them; and not too vague to leave the woman
fancy free. "a look of kindness now and then
and little or nothing said upon it," is delicious
inimitable. 1t gives him 30 much vantage, and
allows her so foil scope for the action Of the
imagination. "Small, quiet attentions" How
small may they be, and how quiet? In what way
are we TO make sure that these delicate attentions
are being paid to US
Would SteTne, or would men in general, admit
that squeezing the hand is one of these small
quiet attentions which have great meaning in
them? There Is historical and royal evidence
In affirmation Of it-Dartmouth's old scandal Of
Edward Montagu's losing bis post of chamberlain
to Charles the Seconds Catherine: " Her majesty
asked the king (haying never had an admirer
before or after) what people meant by squeezing
the hand. The king (no incompetent authority
told her love- Then said she, Mr.. Montagu
loves me nightly Upon which he was turned
outu
Yet what woman would dare risk her happiness
or her success in business, upon so trivial an ad
vance as this? Even that more significant atten-
ton of keeping the hand in q warm, pleasant,
lingering custody, which is quiet and pointed
l. IA :.
favorably, save by dropping of the eyelids
and more conscious flushing Of the cheeks; even
this, one knows,Iis no more to be relied upon than
is reed to be leant upon in tempest
What about correspondence! 1t is SO pleasant
to write to woman; such an escape valve for
the compressed sentiment, which ell the mans
dealings with the world cannot entirely consume,
that one ought not to clog this delicate inter-
change of thought and feeling with the RESPONSE
bility Of being an advance. 1t is more than an
element of Platonic friendship. The German
girl, Meta Klopstock, describes the progress OF
her Platonic correspondence with the poet, in one
of her charming letters written in English to Rich
ardson, " IL was strong hour" she writes; the
Z" hour of Klopstocks departure"
"He wrote soon after, and from that time our
correspondence began TO be dgent one. l
sincerely believed my love to be friendship. |
and showed his letters. They rallied me, and
said was in love. / rallied them again, and said
they must have very friendshipless heart 1t they
had do IDEA OF friendship 10 man IS wei as 10
woman. My friends found as much love In KlOp.
stocks letters as in ne. perceived it likewise,
but would not believe it. At the last Klopstock
said pla ly that he loved, and startled. as for
wrong thing. | answered that il was not love,
but friendship; we had not seen one another
enough for love, as if love must have more time
| than friendship"
Richardson himself declares, In his oracular
manner, "Platonic love is PlatOnic nonsense /;
tits the fly buzzing about the blaze till its wings
are scorched. Age, old age, and nothing else,
must establish the barriers of Platonic love-"
| Yet / wonder how many letters to.night's post
| will scatter up and down through the country
| which shall be just as vague and as pointed as
| Sterne would have them TO be-
| "No kisslDg!n said Goethe's first love, the lit
| tie miner Gretchen. No kissing that is so
| vulgar; but let us love, if we canp'
No doubt the girl, two years the senior, was
| laughing at the impsssioned boy; yet there was
| rare refinement in her distate. Wieland, the
| German novelist, must have been q sublime
lover. He was perfectly convinced that love is
| born with first sight, and expires in certain
| degree with the first kiss. Zimmerman asked q
| young lady to whom he was attached why it was
| that Wieland saluted her for the first time.
Wieland," replied the amable girl, did not
kiss my hand for the first four years Of our
acqusintsncew
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