Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1868-12-24
AMUSING
THE most popular Fall with the Ladies
Falling in love. ..--.

THE most popular Fall with the Ladies
Failing in love.
IsA mantua-maker amenable to law
for hooking lady's dresses? ?sa -i -al.
An inveterate old bachelor says ships
are called "she"-why? Because they
ALWAYS keep a man on the lookout.
THAT was triumphant appeal of an
[rishman, who, in arguing the superi-
ority of old architecture over the new,
said: "Where will you find any wooden
building that lasted as long as the an
cient?h
A WHIMSICAL. comparison being made
between clock and a woman, Charies
Fox observed that he thought the simile
bad " for" said he, a clock serves to
point out the hours, and woman 10
make US forget them" 1a r-llus =i1 I'D
IN celebrating Franklin's birthday at
Buffalo. the printers had "a good time 2;
and. among others, the following toast
was drank: "Printers' Wives-May they
always have plenty of SMALL CAPS for
the heads of their little original articles"
A SUBSCRIPTION paper for some reiig-
ions object was handed to a jealous
when he remarked,
-.Weu. / can give five dollars and not
feel it.n "Then,n said the solicitor,
give ten and feel it, The point was
seen at once, and the money was forth
coming. -.sl .Tif If "t '"V
JoHN WILKES was once asked by q
Roman Catholic gentleman in warm
dispute on religion: Where was your
church before Luther2" Ibid You
wash YOUR face this morning. inquired
the facetious alderman. did, SIR.
- Then, pray, where was your lace before
it was washed ?"
A WIDOW friend of Lamb, having
onened a preparatory school for children
at Camden Town, said to him: live
so far from town must have a sign, L
think YOU call it, TO show that l teach
children" "Well." he replied, "you
can have nothing better than The -huT-
der of the InnoceRts. !"
A CHAP went to a pork-house to buy
pork on credit. First he bargained for
lot of hogs ears nextsth the clerk SEEM
ing willing to trust, he bought a hogs
head then, growing bold, he said; "A
believe L will take that ham," Noyoe
won't" replied the clerk, "you are head
and ears in debt, now"
A SICK man, slightly convaleseing,
recently in conversation with a pious
friend. who congratulated him upon bis
recovery, and asked him who his physi-
clan was, replied: DR.. Jones brought
me through" y" No no, said his friend,
I" God brought you out of your Hines, not
the doctor.H "Well, may be he did, but
I am certain the doctor will charge me
for it," f-.. ga. f-r. --
A GOOD story is told ora captain who
went into grocery where Were lot OF
loungers, and no one offered him a seat.
Knowing everything about the grocery,
he went behind the counter, and seizing
n keg marked powder, threw 1t upon the
fire. exclaiming: Gentlemen. It's my
opinion that we've lived long enough"
The way they ran out Of the store was q
caution to ground and lofty tumoiing.N
OF course the keg was empty. lllf L
AI,Apy went out shopping, promising
her little sou she would get him cocoa :
mt. and procured one with the husk on
IL. in which state he had never seen the
article. On arriving ut home she gave
il to her boy, who looked at it curiously.
smiled, and laid it down. Presently he
said; "Mother, where is my cocoa-nut%'
a. / lust now gave il to you,n she replied.
Taking IL up again, he looked at IL curl
onslv for moment, and exclaimed :-a
"Thatthing cocoa-nut! Why, l thought :
It was tcoterJou!Na aas,li :. on- Ro8s