Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1868-12-04

Bf CRAM
Paris is the Mecca ofthe ashionable world
and towards her silded walls are turned the
eyes Of all her votaries, and at her shrine
where Eugenia sits empowered with more
than Papal authority, bow thrice three times
daily, the whole world Of womankind.
This most strange worship, this most WON
derful devotion consists in Initiating the &C.
tions, however unseemly, the econtortions oe the
body, however detrimental to the health, the
dress and the manners, the virtues and the
vices Of Eugenia.
If this Qaeen have curvitnre ofthe spine,
in shor, become hunch- -back, all our
fair aud gentle daughters and sisters, our
staid and sober matrons and mothers
| directly pad aud lace with stay and eorsett
until the required humpwas produced. Eide
Grecian Bend.l In their modification OF
the fesh--in their total disregard Of bodily
ease and comfort of bodily pain and an.
guish, of public opinion and Of public morals.
they exceed the Hindoo devotee.
But to my story.
Eugenis, Empress of all the French, has
had for tie last three or four years wen or
sebaceous tumor upon the rear of her regal
cranium, which has been slowly but surely
increasing from week to week and from
month to month.
When FIRST discovered it was no larger
than a pea, in three months it was the size
of a walnut, in six that of an orange, and in
year was as large as coeoanut.
Nelaton, tie renowned surgeon, advised
from the first its excision. But Her Majesty
was as obstinate as she was pretty las the
pretty ones generally are,) and would submit
to nothing Of the kind. Then medical skill
was exhausted in the vain cndeavor to re-
duce it by other means. They tried SIM
apisms and cataplasm and skuAk's oil, se>
tons and blisters. They tried Homeopathy
and Anopsthy aud Hsdropathy and Ants
pathv.
They did all this and more, till the good
man, the Emperor's patience was entirely ex.
Lausted, bis rest broken, bis health destroy
cd his olfactorv organs SO oyertaxed with
different and Indifferent odors that he was
finally obliged TO occupy another apartment.
But the requirements Of the court, like
those OF the camp, are imperious and must
be fulfilled. Her Majesty must appear on
state occasions and on court days. She
must receive the minister from Congo and
His August Majesty, the King Of the Can
nibal Isles.
Then was Paris ransacked for ingenious
devices to cover up the growing deiormity.
Every form ofheaddress, night-cap and hair
ornament ever invented, was brought to the
Palace for Her Majesty's inspection. Not
one was suited for the case. Finally when
the last hope was apparently gone there
came an obscure hair-dresse TO the Tuillers
les and desired to see the Empress. He had
suspicious looking basket on his arm, the
contents of which be could not be prevailed
upon either by brihes or threats to expose.
A, last he was admitted by the express Gums
mand Of Her Majesty.
When in the presence of Royalty he un>
folded with much awkwardness and tribula~
ton from his deminutive basket. an object
with deminutiye hole in it made expressly
to fit the protuberance on Her Msjesty's oc-
'ciput. This he called chisnon, ana this
was the commencement Of fashion which
af,erwald grew to almost amania aad ragged
without an exception through every civilized
nation on the face Of the globe.
This, the hair>dresser explained, could be
enlarged and finally was enlarged to enor-
nous proportions to fl, the growing tumor.
And as it increased in size it changed its To-
cation, creeping gradually upward from the
nape of the neck to the crown Of the head,
and from thence its rae Of progress to the
forehead was only exceeded BY the rapidity of
its growth. The prospects then we're that i,
would at no Distant day rest upon her impe.
rial nose.
How well the fashion followed the tumor,
let each and every one ofmy readers judge for
himself
But this DER true tale has an o'er sad eni>
ing
Let every man and brother throughout the
length aud breadth ofthis good!y (not godly)
land rejoice. Let every maiden fair aud
ma,ron sta;d unlock the fountain of her tears
for this thing of beauty and pride OF life
(,his unseemly, ui,sightly, ,uncouth, uncomely,
spider,hke cocoanut>chapedc combination oi
rats and MICE of false hair gathered from
the fostering cadavers OF the lowest and
most degraded haun's Of Paris, s,of wines, sticks,
combs and hair.pns, Of pediculi, lice, para
sites and yermin) this crowning topknot OF
female beauty is about to disappear from the