The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1868-12-25
The Josh Billings Papers.
NATURAL IHsToRY--sNATLs, TREE-TrDs,.
frlI a ANGLE-woRMs.

NATURAL InsToRY-sNAILs, TREE-TrDs,.
rl at ANGLE-woRMs.
Snails are kind of amphibious ovs-
ter born on LAND, Of reputable parents:
but able to live for q time under water
If circumstances seem to require it.
They live in an eartlicn l,oase, net
unlike in design of a frcman's cap
There is two kinds ov snails, the hard
shell and the soft shell. The soft she'll
resembles piece of calfs liver, cut
round, and gifted with crawl.
This calm and innocent critter IL ov
no moral or phisikal power, not as we
know Ov, and II it wasn't for the myste-
rious knowledge ov Providence. .'who
doeth all things WE'LL" it would make
! toreordained Yankee sweat tew guess
jfst what they was dedicated TO.
In some forrin parts they are ct for
food, but 1t would take great deal of
pepper sas to lokate them in mi stum-
muk and keep them thar.
The soft snail is slippery cuss. free
from bones, and slo gated, travelling
about six inches in cool dav. and
makes its home WHARF things are damn.
They are ov a sweet disposishun, and
don't git mad and tar up the morning
paper if things don't happen to be-
jist so.
They live on what would otherwise
be wasted, which speaks we'll for the
ekonomy of the snail.
The hard shell snail seldom leaves
home and when they do, they don't lock
up their house and put the key under
the door mat. but take their house with
them Oil their backs. There is no house
big cnuff for snails snais understand
this, and don't take ennybody to board
with them and xix up muses..
Awl animals are sound on this iden-
tikal goose; they don't never build
house that they kant fill.
Here ends the natural snail.
u X
Angleworms are of arth, arthy, and
crawl for living. They only live in
rich ground; ground that won't rai.e
anglewOrms won't raise ennything else,
and where angleworms rejoice, corn is
sure to be bully. If YOU want your
anglewOrms of emmy size, you manure
your sile. There amt nothing on arth
more miserable to ponder over and
weep about than a half-starved angles
worm. Angleyorms are a sure crop
Oh good sile. and handy tew hoe, for
they plant and harvest Themselves
They don't take up much room in tho
ground, are az kind to children as a
piece Of red tape.
1t is said by the naturalist that angle
worm lie. rubbed on the back of the
, neck, will kur man of the lies. l
, don't believe this, unless it kills the
man. Death il the only reliable heal
= for lynn that has been discovered yet.
5 When Icing gets into mans blood,
the only way tC git it out iz to drain
him dry.
| Angleworms are used as an article of
|, diet to catch fish they are handy to
l put onto hook, and handy to take
. oph. as any body knows who has straG-
} died saw log and fishcd for daice all
day long on Sunday in mill pond.
Old fishermen alwus carry their
t worms in their mouth.
!, Angleworms live in round hole,
which they fit like a gimlet, and are
s different from all other creepers that |
Y knOw'ov, for they alwuz back into their
/ holes.
e Here the natural angleworm ends.
. Treetuds are the only tuds of tho
: whole tud family who can KLINE tree.
:: How they do it is an untathomable
{ mysterv-almost equal to the milk in
| the kokcr nut.
e Philosophers aul agree that the milk
: is put into the koker nut, and then tho
e hole is neatly plugged up, but who the
fellow is who duz it, the philosophers
{ are honest enough for Il wonder, to adj
| NIT they kant tell.
: | am glad there is no man living who
!, is smart enough tew beat the philoso-
f pliers, for they are alwus sticking
{ their aliaktory into everything, and
t then make themselves sick for n week
4 giving reasons for things they don't un-
e derstand.
c am afraid it will go hard with the
S philosophers in the day of Judgment.
n The tretuds is both male and female
S but not both to once the female don't
G KLINE trees for obvious reasons.
G When a treetud is on tree, they cOn~
: form tew the customs ov the trees, look
= ing and acting just like the tree. This
c shows good breeding, if nothing more.
= Treetuds are good singers, hut they
= have rather more music than melody |,
: their voices hev been cultivated tew
d much; cultivation spiles melody for
e me; | simply respect art, but | worship
# and weep with natur.
@ About all that can be said of these
Il insekts IL, that they are harmless para
e sites whose whose chief ambition is
l. tew Kline tree, and be mistaken for
IS a part ov it.
o Here naturally ends the treetud.