The Sweetwater forerunner. [volume] (Sweetwater, Tenn.) 1867-1869, 1868-05-21
Short Pal.agraphs.

Salu Whcn Snc laceu nerSeI TOO tlgnG 10
swallow.
Miss. Stubbs says every unmarried lady
of forty has passed the Cape of Good Hope.
"If all the world we're blind, what a
melancholy sight it would be-" said an
Irish clergyman.
For Salc-A piano by lady about to
cross the channel in AN oak case with cary
ed legs.
A writer dwelling upon the Importance
of small things, says 'that he always takes
notice even of straw, especially if there
happens to be sherry cobbler at the end
of it,
The young man who cast his eyes upon
young lady coming out of church, has
had them replaced by. going to the altar
with her, and now sees as we'll as ever.
Horse Oil,' instead of butter, is fire.
quently used in dressing vegetables in
Paris. The first taste of it makes man
feel like trotting away from the table.
q think you have a stye in your eye,'
said a green youth to girl he was going
to court. NO. said she looking straight
at him, Il have hog in it, but no stye
for him.
This world is all a feeting show said
IA priest to a culprit on the gallows. Yes
was the prompt rely, 'but if you have no
objections, I'd rather sec the show q little
longer
A man being awakened by the captain
of boat, with the announcement that he
must not occupy his berth with his boots
on, replied, 'Oh, it won't hurt 'em, they're
an old pair
A French wit says that the gibbet is a
species of fattery to The human race.
Three or four persons are hung from time
to time for the sake of making the rest
believe that they arc virtuous.
A chaplain was once preaching to a
class of collegians about the formation of
habits. "Gentleman," said he, "close your
cars against bad discourse" The stud
ents Immediately clapped their hands to
their ears.
Have the jury agreed?' asked the
Judge of court attachc, whom he met on
the stairs with a bucket in his hand.
'Yes,' replied Patrick, 'they have agreed
to send for a half gallon of whisky
The following is sharp: First party
"You'll come to the gallows some day."
"Yes, the morning you're hanged"
The hog may not be thoroughly posted
in arithmetic, but when you come to
square root, he is there-the hog is.
A Sabbath school superintendent asked
his scholars if any of them could quote a
passage of Scripture which forbade a
mars having two wives, whereupon near
ly the whole school cried out, "No man
can serve two masters"
An exchange says eff there are any
two things in which Yankee philanthro-
p;sts and philanthropistesses beat all crea-
tion, they are cheap religion and impud-
enee."
When good wife had prepared an ex-
cellcnt dinner for her husband, and he de-
clarod he liked it, she said, "Well kiss me
then" "Oh, never mind that, my dear"
was his reply, "the necessaries of life We
must have, but the luxuries we can dis
pense with.n
care you not alarmed at the approach
of the king of terrorist said a minister to
sick man. ''Oh, no; have been living
six and thirty years with the queen of ter
rors-the king cannot be much worse"
"Sir," said the Hon. Mr.. Poundesk, as
he caught the speakers eye, "Sir, l am
opposed to woman's rights, for woman is a
snare, and delusion and"-"Men are
always getting caught by snares, and al
ways hugging dclusions," interpolatcd a
rival member.
''My DEAR" inquired a young wife Of
her husband, on his return from business,
''have you seen the beautiful set of walnut
furniture which the Smiths have bought2'
ellen; no, my love, but have seen the
bill, and it quite satisfies me-"
"NIark Twain" has some novel geo.
graphical ideas. Writing to the Tribune
from town in Palestine, he says: "The
real name of this place is Cesarea Phillip
pi, but l call it Baldwinsville, because it
sounds better, and | can recollect it easer."
An illiterate man wishing to enter some
animals at an agricultural exhibition,
wrote as follows to the secretary: "Also
enter me for the best jackass, l ana sure Of
getting the prize"
Ex-President James Buchanan is lying
yorv III Mt Lancaster. His complaint is