The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1868-06-04
Established 1925.

soy, Vsllandigbam and others, all
breethiD the same sperit nv thank
fulnis for the result, and all ac-
kDowledgin Indebtedness TO the
noble Republicans wich he'd brot
It about. These como from my
old Kentucky home:
HalleIoogy! III bev my niggers
aginl Thank HovinI Ny son
Josier is even now. fndin out ther
whereabouts. The Lord be praisedl
Hev already snbjoogated three nv
en-, SeIabl Bells is ringip and
bonfreS is blazin. PooRAM.
The Corners co6gratulates 700
and the President. / commence
work tomorrow on tho enlarge
ment Of my distIllery, wich vuz
suspended when the impeachment
onpleasantness wuz begun. All
halo ! McPELrER.
Hale all hale Amid the gen.
eral rejoicin, cant you borrer G.
nuff to pay the bill you owe me ?
The Corners is bIazin. Two mig
Egers hev bin hnng on the public
square, and Pollock's store is in a
state Nv siege. The boys are
bound to clean him out this time
sure. BAeCoM.
Couriers jist in from toards Gar
rettstown. Within ten minutes
after the news reached EN-. the
Niger Settlement wuz in a blaze
and the two Burow teachers there
wuz missin. Glory cnuff for Ken
tuck. PUNT.
"Wby," sed / 70 Randall who
sat moody and alone, "don't 700
and the President share in the
general exhilerashun? lie doesn't
seem to be the least eggscited.'' .
"Wby shood WEI" fetorted he.
doth the shepherd go into spasms
over the sheep he hez safe in the
fold? The fact ia, our eggscitin
time wuz several weeks age, while
we wuz a buyin nv EN- and ar.
rangin for this. The Black Gro ok
is ruther startlin to the beholders
from the front, but to the mana.
gers who contracted for the legs at
so much pair, and arranged the
tablo, it ain t so startlin."
"Thinkest thou the new pro.
grame will result ez the President
hopes ?"
mo, the new party can't sue
{ coed no more than our last vencher
did. 1t amt made up nv the right
material. There's more iutellek
than sole in it-more bowels than
heart. There's Chase, Fessenden,
Trumbull and Grimes. Chase hez
f ambition, Grimes hate, and Trum-
bull and Fossenden dyspepsia,
making the Emergencies Of the
new organization half ambition
and hate and half dyspepsia. New
er trust a man whose stumick is
out of ordcr-take no stock in him
whose bowels is unsound. Intel
lex is nothin, heart is nothin, on
less there's stumick under en- on
wich TO build. Chase hez no con.
shence, Trumbull and Fessendcn
no gastric joose. Sich men alluz
conspire and alluz fall. Stlll, I'm
glad the things occurred"
"Efit amounts to nothin, why
glad ?"
, because it let's johnson and me
out. When Arnold went back on
his countrymen. his countrymen
forgot Joodis Iskariot; when Aaron
,; Burr ariz, they to wunst forgot Ar
mold, Pierce drove Burr out of the
public mind, Bookanan made EN-
. forget Pierce, Johnson made EN-
p forget Bookanan and now Chase
' and Trumbull will make em forget
Johnson and me. That's what ]
wuz drivin at. Under the storm
shell leave for my quiet Wisconsin
2 home, and live in peace. for beside
e these later cusses l shel loom uI
: into comparative respectability
J Coed mite. All is WELL"
At late hour | retired to my
virtuous couch and fallin into tn,
: deep sleep witch only visits the pill
e lers of them whose conshonces ain
: bothered much, NV whom I an
8 wich, as my Conscience sheds coz
IS vickshun NV wrath to como cz
: duck does spring rain, l dreemed
curis dreem.
Methawt the Presidenshel cours
l. wuz reely and trooly race course
n and the candidates he'd to run tha
s. course, tho winner Of tho race +
" be glorifed. At one end Nv tn
IT track wuz weighin' stand and a
d the other the winners post, wic'
il wuz the White House. The run
ners wuz to carry the candidate 70
Vice President and other weight
\ ez their hackers should put ont
= EN-.
,. The Republicans he'd Grant o.
Ie the ground promptly. and read.
for the race. He come up spler
did. He wuzn't 20 mighty in
mense, but he wuz clean.limbeC
l. decently developt all over, shove
a. first rate in the back and loini
o, His trainers pulled off his shoul
L ders few l;ttle dead weights vic
rs some nv his injudishus hackers he
At chuct on to him, sposin be coo
re carry everything. Colfax vaulte
n- onto his shoulders, and he wa
ready.
Our people he'd some difficult
in selectin a man TO run agin hin
in Pendleton wuz trotted out, br
at Belmont pronounced him unf
il. Mcclellan next, but VOORHEES, OF
d jectid. Finally Chase wuz selecti
f. to run the appointed race, and b
. wing hrot In tho weiohin stand. Il