Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1868-05-29
FASHIONABLE INVALIDIsM.

Fanny Fern almost always writes practi-
ca)ly and to the point. The following from
her pen is well worthy the perusuat Of all
whom il may concern:
/ hope TO live to see the time when it viii
be considered a disgrace 10 be SUCH when
people with fiat chests and STOPPING shout
ders viii creep round the backway, like
other violatOrs of known laws Those who
inherit sickly constitutions have my SINGER
est pity | only request one favor of them,
that they cease peFpetuauDg themselves till
they are physically on a sound basis. But
a woman who laces 50 tightly that she
breathes only by rare accident who vi
brates constantly between the coniectioner
shop and the dentists Office; who has ball
robes and jewels in plenty, bul who owns
neither an umbrella nor waterproof cloak
nor pair of thick boots; who lies in bed
till noon, never exercises, and complains of
total want Of appetite, save for pastry and
pickles;-she is simply disgusting nuisance.
Sentiment is all very nice; but, were |
man | would beware Of woman that
couldn't eat Why don't she take a nice
little bit of beefsteak with her breakfast,
and a nice 3raiLs-nOt rlde-after il? Why
don she stop munching sweet stuff between
meals2 Why don't she go to bed at a de-
cent time, and lead clean, healthy life?
The doctors and c0nfectioners have ridden
in their carriages long enough, let the
butchers and shoemakers take turn at it.
A man or a woman who cant eat Is never
sound on any question. 1t Is wasting breath
to converse with them. They take hold Of
everything by the wrong handle. OF course
it makes them very mad to whisper pityingly
dyspepsia, when they advance some distor-
ted opinion; but ! always do it, They are
not going to muddle my brain with their
theories, because their internal works are IN
state of physical disorganization. Let
them 20 into a luuatic asylum and be
properly treated till they can learn how they
are pnt together and how to manage them
selves sensibly.
How | rejoice in a man CT a woman with
a chest; who can look tho sun in the eye.
and step off as if they had not wooden legs.
1t Is a rare sight Ifa woman now has an
errand round the corner she must have
carriage to go there; aud the men more dead
than alive, so lethargic are they with con
slant smoking, creep into cars and omnibus
scs, and curl up in corner, dreadIng moth
ing so much as a little wholesome CXeruOn.
The more tired they are, the more dlligent
IL they smoke; like the women who, drink
perpetual tea TO keep them up.
Keep them upl Heavens! | am fifty-hve
and | feel half the time as if / were just
made. To be sure | was born in Maine,
where the timber and the human race last
but don eat pastry, nor candy, nor ice
cream. | don't drink tea-bahl / ,eaA,
not ride I own stout boots, and pretty
ones too l have waterproof cloak, and no
diamonds. I like nice bit Of beefsteak,
and ANYBODY else who wants it, may eat
pap. | 20 to bed at ten, and get up at six
dash out in the rain, because it feels good
on my face. / don't care for my clothes.
but [ ,CiU be well; and after am buried l
warn you, don't let any fresh air or sunlight
down on my coffin, if you don't want me to
get m.