The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1868-07-14

An 1cwa editer haa taken hss oisca
bcy into paFtneFehip. giving a. hia rsas-
"a thRi sstsfhen kas tecn % wcrk foe aa
AL winter and wnntnd bis pay, and wu
shonghh aaer be bad been proprietor
8 short time, be would understand hat
paying holp wsn npt 80 easy
last wrvk Portland gunalnmAn
going cot of hiA hunas siamhied oter q
dog IN the enlry. ian and hroke his
nose then attempted 10 kick The dog.
but missed him, kicked over q hat
stand, put bis ankle ont oi Joint. and
was laid up for three monlhs
During the last year the trish in
this country sent home The sum Of s2.-
700eoe 81 their relations OF this sum
more than saillinn dollars was in pro-
paid passage orders During the last
twenty years more than seventy mill
ion dollars have been transmitted 10
relatives in Ireland, or enigrania
"A little Berkshire five-year OH,
who was hungry one night recently,
Just about bedtime but tidt wish 10
ask directly for something moro "a eat,
put II in this way; Mother, are little
children who staryc 10 death happy a.
ter they def A good big slioe OF
bread and butter was the answer
"a motion seller was offering Van.
see clocks, highly sarnished and col.
nred aud with looking -glaas IN front,
20 a eertsAn lady not remarkable Tor
personal beauty. why, itsbeAutitnl,"
said the vender. Beautiful. indoedl
a look at il almost frightens me, said
the lady Then, marm, said donA-
than, Il guess you'd better buy ono
that haint got no looking-glAas.'
"A young New England Clergyman,
riding in the cars between Springfield
and Pittsheld, sat opposite q spiritual
list, who was holding noisy discussion
with his neighbor in the Same seat on
the subject Of miracles The spirilnal-
ist contended that the universe was gov-
erned by fixed, unalterable law, and
miracles were therefore impossible.
After listening some time, the clergy
man replied, that law could not exc.
cute itself, and that Deity therefore
continually acted; and no expressed
the opinion that tho spiritualisl know
very little about what he was discuss
ing. The latter retorted by saying:
"Do you think you can make fool OF
me p ''Oh, no. replied the minister,
81 am afraid the Lord has been too
quick for me-" There were no fur
fho,. tgyao nsfnafoa.or.
During one Of the college vaca-
tions, Daniel Webster ard bis brother
returned 10 their fathers in Salisbury.
Thinking he had q right TO some return
for tho money no had expendenod on
their education, the father put scythes
into their hands and ordered them TO
NOW. Daniel made few sweeps, then
resting his scythe. wiped the sweat
from his brow. His father said, whats
the matter, Dan 2" my scythe don't
hang right sir,9 be answered. His
father fixed Il, and Dan went to work
again, but with no hotter sticceas.--- -
Something was tho matter with his
scythe, and then il was again tinkered;
but il was not long before il wanted iix-
ing again, and the father said In a pet,
We'll hang il TO suit yourself. Dan
iel, with great composuro. hung IL on
the next treei and putting on 4 grave
conntenance, said, 1T hangs very we'll
now, | am perfectly satisfied ?
1t is not always that The lawyer
gets tho best OF it in the examination
Of witness When the tables arc
turned upon him, it seems allowable to
lndnlge in an audible smile. Recent
ly, III one OF the interior counties OF
this State, the District Attorney,
clover gentleman and good lawyer,
was cross-eSamining a witness and en-
deavoring to throw discredit upon his
testimony. The Distric. Attorney ask
ed:
Were you ever arrested =
"Yes'
"What for ?"
Assault and battery, and paid my
fine"
This was not bad enough. Some
times good men will pay fine for the
privilege OF knocking down q black
guard, and therefore Mr.. Attorney
went on cropping in ths dark.
Were you ever In prison n
"No-yes Come 10 think / was"
Then, with the light Of expectation
breaking all over his expansive counte-
nance, Mr.. Attorney cbuckles "Ohi
you were in prison, were your Where
were Won in prison, Sir r.
"At Andersonvile, Was taken pris-
oner by the rebels |"
Amidst storm Of fapplause, the cheers
Of tho multitude, and tho musketry-
like rattle Of the hob-nailed boots. the
legal gentleman ceased 10 pester tho
ex~warrior.
the SEsRos alMnK
An old negro named Pete was very
much troubled about his sins. Perceiv-
ing him one day with very downcast
look, his master asked him the cause.
ooh, massa, I'm sich great sinnen"
"But, Pete, said his master, HYou
are foolish To take il 30 much at hoaxk
You never SEQ mo troubled about my
sins"
II know de reason, massa. said Pete:
when you go ont duck-sho0sing and
kill one duck aud wound another, don't
you run after do wounded duck r
Yes, Pete and the master wondered
what was coming next
"Well, massa, dat IN dc way wild yon
and me. da dabbil ban got Won el4rz hat