Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1868-11-26
NIISClELLANY.
The Story Of Blue Beard.
By the "Fat Contributor"

DY llO az NOhiA
.r. .r. E1
A long time ago, before the invention OF hair
dye, when a man had to wear his beard the
color that nature made it, whether he would
or not, there was a man who had made him
self enormously rich as whiskey inspector,
or something Of that sort don't know pre-
. cisely-whero he lived, but think he lived most
in the Imagination. .,oorT
lie run great castle, on the European Plan,
had horses and run them, and in fact run about
everything in his neighborhood, including run
ming for Office and with the girls, for at the
time Of which write he was a gay wdower.
He had great quantities of grecubacks, corner
lots, oil stock, bonds and things, but he was
hidcously ugly, and had withal an enormous
blue beard, frightful to contemplate, which
gave to him the cognomcn Of Blue Beard, by
which he was known to the country round
about, as well as to the country that had laid
of its roundabout, and consequently was in
its shirt sleeves. It
Blue Beard grew weary of living in solitary
magnfcence in his lordy castle, and finding
that he was getting buer and bluer every day,
he determined to marry Having been mar
ried half dozen taken half dozen
raw, as one might say-he was naturally quite
miserable when deprived of the gentle iufuen-
COS of the sex for any length Of time.
One Of his neigbbors was widow iady, who
had two very beautiful and highly accomplish
ed daughters They could play the piano,
harp, and seyen-ur, and work embroidery and
Planchettc elegantly
TO this widow lady Blue Beard applied for
the hand and general anatomy Of one Of her
daughters. leaving her to decide which one She
would give him. Although tic stamps he
IhaL pleaded loudly inhis favor, as they do yet,
although this was great many years ago, yet
! that dreadfal beard was against him. and nei-
thcr Of tie young women desired to have it
against her Blue wasn't fashionable for
boards; if it had been it might have been diff
lercpt. One Of them wept bitterly because it
would be several hundred years yet before hair
dye would be.liac5yered, SO that he could have
"' ~ aIa,' ..s,,,,s,.,nco renjorcd ,o,n sbv or
Iro r.s Iovirr wo5ji,g every once
in while at the castle butuo funerals =
,yaJ,lino cake had been ordered from the con-
roctiopcrs several times but no undertaken had
hoao ;ob tloro vet No matter how many
f,oos y man is Ina w.dower. if he cores
nondinolv natropizcs some respectable owner
IF q bearse bpt rcpeated wedlock without fl-
norols is certainly \ suspicious circumstance.
Rim, Dcord cnpninaly invited the family and
,io;- f-iords ~ ,bo co.tle where they nassed
WOOL 60 dcliob,f1Ilv that the Youngest dauqh-
,ar,n 70 tl.irl, Lima was nrctty Good color
g. n.l,;.l.ors after All particularly when their
- conl1 keen nm sueb an establishment
% tb,t where tbcv had tbree meals a day. be-
.;lo. 1nncb every morning from ten o'clock
until eleven She looked with contempt on a
rel-wLiskercd beau Of hers she used to think
perfectly splendid" and actually asked him
why he didn't rub Indigo into EN-" The
upshot of the business was, she consented 10
become Mis-. B. Beard, and the wedding was
celebrated with great eclat.
,ttbo oxnirat,on Of the honeymoon. Blue
po.r5 ,,-o,ondc5 70 his wife that businessof
;r,,,rtanoo ,,IIed l,,,, away 10 n distant city
He ,vorId he absert for several weeks and in
the meantime she could invite company and
enjoy herself as much.as possible lie gave
her a bunch Of keys, enabling her at any time
to open his safe, aId feast her eyes upon the
diamonds tbe loaned money on collateral"