Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1868-09-19
A, In.cnlou, uumbug.

An Ingenious HumbuE.
Our bosom friend, E. Bolivar Spikens,
is a very impossible young man a
youth of a decidedly iuquisitive turn OF
mind. He likes to see as far into the
future asauybody can, and n little fur
Their, if possible, aud he never negleets
any promising opportunity o. doing so.
Last February Nh advertisement going
tho rounds of some OF the newspapers,
took his eye and aroused his curiosity.
II was headed, I" Know thy Destiny"
and was to the effect that " Madame f.
F. Thoruton, the great English A~strolo-
gist, ~Clairvoyant aud Experimentation,
who has astonished the scientific classes
Of the Old World, has now located her
self at Hudson, \. Y. Madame Thorn
Ton possesses such wonderful powers of
second sight, rs to enable her to impart
knowledge of the greatest Importance
TO the, single or married Of either sex.
While in n state OF trance, she delineates
.he very features of the person you are
to marry, and by the aid Of an instrument
OF intense power, known as the Psychic
motrops, guarantees to produce q life
like picture OF the future husband or
wife Of the applicant, together with
date of marriage, position in life, lead
ing traits Of character, etc. Sho will
send when desired n certified certificate,
or written guarantee, that the picture is
what'it purports TO be. By incloSing a
small lock Of hair, and stating place Of
birth, age, disposition and complexion,
and enclosing fifty cents and stamped
envelope addressed to yourself, you will
receive the picture and desired informn-
ton by return mail. All commuuica-
lions sacredly confidential. Address In
confidence, Madame E. +. Thornton, P.
%. Box 223, Hudson, y. "
Bolivar felt bound to Investigate and
see through this arrangement at once,
for indeed this future wife business WAS
an important and highly Interesting
point with him, SO he sent Il lock of his
hair and a grcenback, incloscd with a
description Of himself, to the aforesaid
address, aud in duo time, sure enough,
he received an answer. 1t was n printed
blank, filled out, and read thus:
Your letter, with description. is received.
Enclosed you will find picture Of your future
wife. Date Of marriage, Jan. Il, 1859; pos
ition in life. good; disposition. kind; oceu-
patton, merchant's daughter. Respectfully,
yours. MAD; E. F. THORNTON.
n. B.-Should you desire more informs.
ton than given above, l will, for an add.
tional fry cents, send you the name and
tune will favor you with; also the Character
istics, Appearance and Temperament; when
and where you meet, and in what manner
you become acquainted; also whether you
live happily together, the number OF off,
spring, etc., etc. II is, in fact. your destiny
placed before you on paper, for the small
sum Of fry cents.
Bolivar rubbed bis hands in great
glee whom he read the above important
statistical information. II was only
partially satisfactory, though, for where
was the promised "life-like picture"
and where did his intended live? OF
course he "desired more information
so he sent another ~greenback after it.
Here's what he got in that line BY re-
turn mail. in the shape Of another
printed blank filled out:
HUDSON, -, l~S6-.-Yours 10 received.
Below find desired information Name, So
phie Jeckles; P. o. address, Old Berlin, ILL.,;
characteristics, fond Of home; temperament,
ardent; appearance, fine; meet Aug 80, 1865;
at her home; become acquainted BY mail:
number Of children, 1; will pas, life together
happily. Respectfully yours-Mad Z. +.
Thornton, P. D. 223, Hudson, N. Y.
This, now, wa, jolly, but Bolivar
wanted the whole contract fulfilled to
the very letter ; SO no wrote again, and
this time very pointsdly and urgently.
He required that "life-like picture"
He wanted to see the lovely physiog Of
his "6ue-appearing" intended, forth
with, and no more nonsense about 1t.
He waited; but some months have
passed and he is still destitute Of the
coveted consolation. Another phase in
this interesting little affair has, how
over, meanwhile developed itself, for
only last mail he unexpectedly received
the following neat little note, written
in a delicate lady's hand and post
marked "::Berlin, Illinois,"
Mr.. Spitens II should have sent the carte
de risite, but it 10 such a pretty humbug that
l wish to keep it myself. SOPHIE.
Inclossd with this note was the fol-
lowing printed blank, filled out, de-
,sriptive from Madame e. F. Thornton
10 Sophie, doubtless sent on the receipt
Of Bolivar's first letter
Hudson, lS6 Yours 10 received. Below
find desired information Name, Bolivar Z.
Spikins; postofie address, Virginia City'
Nevada; characteristics, fond Of society ;
temperament, impulsiye ; appearance, hne;
meet. Aug lt 80, 1868, ut your home; be-
come acquainted BY mail number OF chill
dren, 4; will pass life together, happily.
Re,pectfully yonrsiMadame E. F.. Thornton.
P. d. 223, Hudson, New York.
Here, now, was the inality Of the
whole thing, and the grand satisfactory
solution Of tho matrimonial problem.
After weighing the matter carefully
over in his mind, Bolivar draws the ioi-
lowing deductions and conclusions re-
harding il: It is indeed q pretty
humbur." This aforesaid Thornton
(be it man or woman), BY means OF that
advertisement freely circulated through
out the country, receives lots OF letters
with locks Of hair, personal descrip-
t;ons. addresses aud grscnbacks CHE
main poiut) in them from inqaisitive in-
diyiduals Of both sexes generally on
the marry. Thornton phi!osophiealiy
pockets the ~greeuback to start in on,
then with the personal description nils
out ono Of the printed blanks aforesaid,
and, files it away for future reference {;
the letters and locks Of hair are care
fully put into the stove, or perhaps the
hair is sold TO stuff mattresses With.
These flied out blanks Thornton studies
over at leisure, pairs them of to suit,
and sends them to addresses u soodly
distance from each other, therefore the
sell il not readily detected At once. II
exchange Of photographs should re-
suit, that is not Thornton's lookout.
Thornton is after the g~reenoacks.
Thoru,on gets grecnbseks. Thornton
is an ingenious humbag, and all who
become victims to the aforesaid huinoug
are as big fools as Spikcns
SOMETHING Nkw.-Professor Beals is
now ready to give the ladies and gents
his new style Of carte de ~visitss. They