davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
Thurrer-Breds.

The following account Of sThurrer- BREEDS
will be interesting. 1t is from the pen of a
new humorist:
1hmrer-Bred Hoss "A boss which has
had his breed improved by means of sulky,
containin Teller with long whip, till he
amt worth Is sents for any purpose except a
gambling masheen.
Thuarer- Bred Gentlemen A bob tail
cote, a 8 sent papur koller; white kotten
weskit, yaller trowses without any cloth into
the legs, shiny lether boots, pare of yeller
gloves, and inside of 'em all thing got up
in imitashun of man, but as the kounterfeit
detectors say, poorly executed and not kali
Related to deseve. Must swar, drink sham
pain and tolk horse. Mustash Indispensable,
branes onnessary
Tharrer-Bred Bizness Man :-Wun that
knows enuff about stealing, soft thare kant
ennybody steal from him, and enuff about
law, so't he kin do his own stealin' legally
A karful analasis of fust klass specimen
gave the follerin' results:
Honor-Jest enuff to keep him out of Jail.
/ Konshuns-None except in very young
specimens.
Lynn and Steelin-As much as will pay.
Honesty-Jest kloke pattern.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS to his sukcess.
Thurrer-Bred Raskal Same as abuv
with the excepshun Of the kloke.
Mwrer-Bred Lady:-The old fashund
idee, about woman SIGH as God made bein
a lady is exploaded-a modern thurrer bred
lady is made up as follers commencin at the
top:
1stly A swab of hair stole from the
korps Of a ded pawper in the old kuntry.
2thly A he'd with as much vacant room
into it in proporshun to the size as to six
story tenement house.
3dly. A dress waste, kiverin French
kossit, into which is komprest about equal
quantities of Natur and Art-Art occupying
the front seats
4thly. A hoop skirt, shown when tilted
''a'la moad," pare of sawdust kalfs; the
hull bein kivered with an outside dressin of
silk and kept in runnin order at an expense
Of about five hundred dollars month for re-
pairs.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

THE AUTUMN Fashions Paris CORES
pondent writes concerning the new fashions
for autumn millinery:
Il had peep behind a few scenes pre-
paratory to my departure from Paris, and 1
remarked that very narrow bonnets of the
fanchon form were still likely to prevail.
One saw of fine rice straw, trimmed with
black velvet. and with pale pink rose at
the side-another was fancy straw, with a
bouillonne of sapphire velvet across the top,
in which trembled straw lilly Of the valley,
sprinkled over with steel beads, blue gros
grain strings. All the new autumn bonnets
that have come under my notice are very
high in front, and, without exception, they
have strings to them. Feathers and aigrettes
are the favorite trimmings. There is new
autumn hat made Of gray felt, and called
sMarechal." It is bound with gray velvet,
and ornamented with tuft Of feathers-its
crown is low, and the brim but slightly
turned up, but it is very graceful in effect. "
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
What You May and May not Call Man.

There is more Or less of the animal about
man /; that nobody will deny. Plato's def
milton of man was, can animal without
feathers, walking on two legs" This was
too much for Diogenes, who caug ht an old
rooster, plucked it, took it into school and
scornfully asked if that was ''Plato's man p
We don't know how Plato got out of it, and
don't care, as this has but little to do with
the matter in hand Though an animal, a
man does not like to be called a beast; yet
there are many known as "bulls'' and
clears, that accept these appellations as
rightly bestowed and properly belonging to
to them, though individually, in another
sense, they would object to being called
bears. There are many who would like to
be known as ''lions," and even tiger would
be considered more complimentary than calf.
Many young fellow would like to be re-
garded as chuck" and you may call a man
'dear fellow" but don't think Of calling him
goose. To be called a 'sduck of man"
would please many an individual who would
take it to heart ifcalled goose, Independent
OF the misnomer. Call man puppy"
and he'll resent it, but call him ''sly dog"
and you'll rather please him. Don't call
man hog even if he is 'bore," nor an
elephant, if he happen to be ''heavy
weight, but you may call him "fox" or a
coon with impunity. A man doesn't like
to be called shark, but you may call him
"queer fish, without offense Never call
cross-eyed man "lynx eyed )" he'll think
you are sarcastic" Call man jackass,
and he'll talk back ;" but you may call him
an "old rat" and it is ten to one that he'll
ask you to ''take suthin" A man wouldn't
feel complimented at being called cormo-
rant, but would smile at being called might
owl" Don't offend by calling man Cos
ling, but you may call him ''gay rooster"
without ofense. Don't call man fool :;
call him clever fellow, which amounts to
the same thing. but soundspretticr A man
would be well pleased to know that you said
he was keen as razor, yet would object to
your calling him sharper To call
stone would be considered rejecting on his
intellectual powers, but you may call him
''brick" to his great satisfaction.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

REMARKABLE CLAIM FOR FORTUNE
very extraordinary case is pending before
Judge Bruce, in Louisville, Ky. The facts
are as follows A DR.. Samuel E. Mckinley,
married, in New Orleans. wealthy heiress,
a Miss Morrison of Louisiana, by whom he
has two children, a boy and girl, the latter
being - years of age. His wife dying in the
girls infancy, he moved from New Orleans
to New Albany, Indiana, leaving his daugh-
ter at school at the Ursuline Convent at
New Orleans. He recently sent for her,
but the authorities in charge Of the Convent
would not deliver the child, saying that her
tuition had not been paid. The Doctor, her
father, denies this, and says that he has sent
money in full for that purpose The Doctor
consulted counsel, and sued out writ of
habeas corpus. The Superior Of the Con-
vent answered the writ, and averred that the
child was not the doctors daughter, and
that the doctor was drunken and unfit to
have care of the child. It is in testimony
that since the case has been before the Court,
the Superior of the Convent has said that
the child is the doctors daughter. The doc
tor has also letters from the Superior, call
ing the child in question his daughter. The
child will come in possession Of more than
and her eontro d e er Sffane oe
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

LONELINESS. 1t is not your neat dress
your expensive shawl, Or pretty fingers, that
attract the attention of men of sense. They
look beyond these. It is the true loneliness
of your nature that wins and continues to re-
tain the affections of the heart. Young la
dies sadly miss it who labor to improve their
outward looks while they bestow not a thought
on their minds. Fools may be won by gew-
gaws, and fashionable, snowy dresses; but
the wise and substantial are never caught by
such traps Let modesty be your dress =
Use pleasant language, and though you may
not be courted by fop and sot, the good and
truly great will love to linger in your steps.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

The Rev. Sidney Smith says: "Weaer
in favor of certain amount of shyness when
a kiss is proposed, but it should not be too
long, and when the fair one gives it, let it
be administered with warmth and energy
let there be soul in tiff she closes her
eyes and signs Immediately after it, the eff
feet is greater There is much virtue in a
kiss when we'll delivered We have the
memory of one we received in our youth
which lasted US forty years, and we believe
it will be one of the last things we shall
think of when we die"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

Why WE ARE TO HAVE NO ELECTION.
The New York World thus gravely as
serts the "true and sole'' reason why this
proud Old Commonwealth is to be prevented
from trampling upon that internal com :
pound of ignorance and rascality." miscalled
Constitution.
The sstrue and sole' reason moving the
Radicals to prohibit an election in Virginia
was because one Bayne, niger, with lip
as thick as an elephants flank, and which
he treads on as he walks, was sure to be
sent to Congress from the Norfolk District.
The Radicals were afraid to see him in the
House, because he would pale the claims Of
Butler and Schenek to bodily beauty.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
Words Of Wisdom,

The satisfaction we receive from scanda
doubtless arises from the assurance it givesl
us that others are no better than ourselves.
Charity .-When charity walks into the
lowest places Of want, we see the beautiful
purity of her robes most distinctly
Opinion and Confirmation. -No matter
how firmly we believe an opinion, it is al
ways strengthened by another's assent
u hoe hono hna,1tifnllr eo;a +h.. ss41~ -
by the hands of mercy"
Truth.-The truth should be maintained
without protestations. It loses dignity if
too much asseverated.
One of the most important rules in the
science of manners is an almost absolute 81
lence in regard to yourself.
Men and Women.-The men who fatter
the women do not know them sufficiently;
and the men who only abuse them do not
know them at ALL
The essence of true nobility is neglect of
self Let the thought of self pass in, and
the beauty Of a great action is gone, like the
bloom of soiled flower
> Politeness and kind attentions.--The
forms and ceremonies of politeness may be
dispensed with, in measure, in the relaxa-
tions and intimacies of ones own freside,
but kind attentions never.
Try the effect of good will and hope upon
the man who was wrapt himself in the COW
ering of reckless and sullen despair, and
you will see verified the old apologize of the
sun, the wind and the traveller
Patience uuder Censure. Julius
III. ordered all the attacks upon him and
his government to be laid before him. eff
true" said he, "they will serve for counsel;
if false, for diversion"
It is an old saying and true one that
God helps those who help themselves. In
an immense majority of cases the circum
stances by which men suffer themselves to
be overcome might be controlled and sur
mounted by vigorous effort.
Too Big PR1cE.-A correspondent
sought to have the New York Citizen come
out for Grant and Colfax, and received the
following in reply:
''Pay for Freedmen's Bureau, ten mil
lions for great number of unnecessary
bayonets, sixty millions; for a uselessly large
navy, forty millions for a protective tariff.
two hundred millions; for crazy scheme of
reconstruction, four hundred millions and for
innumerable corrupt Office holders, thou
sand millions! We love Grant, admire his
nobleness Of character, his generosity, his
fairness toward inferior officers, his liberality
to beaten foe; we would walk hundred
miles to do him honor, but we cannot afford
him as President at that price y
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

After long drought there fell a torrent
of rain, during which one farmer observed
to another: s'This is Providential rain
I hope it will bring up everything out of the
ground" To this the other replied, with a
dubious shake of the head: II can't say as
as I agree with you there, neighbor. I've
buried three wives in the ground, and I
should MORALLY hate to see 'em all come up
again"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

WARS IN A NAME.-The owner of the
trotter Ben Butler was asked the other day
why he had bestowed the bottled hero's
name upon his horse ''Well," he replied,
II called him Ben Butler because thought
wherever he was entered he would be Ger
tain to carry off the plate" San Francisco
Examiner.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

The DEATH OF THE R1eHTEoUs.--As q
man takes walk in his garden, and spying
beautiful, full bloom flower, crops it and
puts it into his bosom, 50 does the Lord also
walk in His gardens, the churches, and
gather His "lilies," souls fully ripe for
glory, and with delight takes them to Him
self.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

Mrs. Betsey Rogers, of Newburyport,
aged ninety-fve, on Sunday walked five
miles and back with two baskets of berries
and attended to her usual domestic duties.
Five generations of descendants representa-
tives thereof walked with her. She picked
berries before the Declaration of Indepen-
dence, took them to market during the his
toric revolutionary war, and has done SO
ever since.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

THE BEST BUSINESS. The safest and
most reliable business young man can
enter, is agriculture A good farm, well
attended, is an inexhaustlble store, an end
less mine of wealth from which the riches
Of the earth can be profusely drawn, if the
owner will remember that this can be done
by the ''sweat of his brow by honest, dill
gent labor.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

TREATMENT OF CLAY LAND had a patch
of hard clay land in one Of my fields, con-
tanning about half an acre it was so hard
that we could not pillow it with two horses,
and when it was plowed it came up in large
Jumps from one foot long to three; the shar-
row would bound and bounce over it, and
you could not see where it had been ; we
could not plant it for the Jumps. 1t was
source of trouble and vexation to me, and L
determined to do something with it, so went
to work. put large blind drain through
the middle of the patch; this was my main
drain. Then l ran from the main drain
small ones each way, twenty feet apart, to
the outside of the clay patch. laid in two
inches tile drain. Then l drew on large
amount of corn cobs and coarse manure:
then summer followed then, in the fall, L
drew on a large amount Of we'll rotted ma
nure, and sowed wheat, and it was by far
the best wheat had in the field, and Inever
after saw any clay Jumps to speak Of in the
patch. It was the best land to pillow that l
had, and raised the largest crops; and L am
satisfied that if farmers would drain and
manure their clay lands heavily, it would
richly pay them for the trouble and expense,
and be saving in horse flesh and harrow
teeth.-Cor. Country Gentleman. H
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
Poetry.
From the New York Courier.
SONG OF THE SOUTH.

by SPENCER W. CONE.
We have no music on the breeze,
No banner in the beams
Our standards are the forest trees,
Our trumpeters the streams;
Yet not till all
The forests fall,
Nor till the streams be hushed,
Shall we, who WELD
Nor sword nor shield,
BY tyranny be crushed
Like men we met the shock of steel
For what we deemed our right,
Nor sheathed the sword to grovelling kneel
To those we faced in fight,
To Honor's hand
We gave our brand,
And not to trene herous knayes:
But tho we WELD
Nor sword nor shield,
They shall not make us slaves
Like men, when vain the conflict grew,
We furled the Stars and Bars,
And fresh allegiance, firm and true,
SWore to the Stripes and Stars;
And curst the mouth
In all the South,
Which makes that oath a lie,
Or dare proclaim
The White mans shame
And negroes mastery.
Go, tyrants! trample white mems souls.
Whilst license yet is given,
But know-ye tread on burning Goals
That have been lit in Heaven;
And, if no blaze
Arrest your gaze,
Deem not the spirit flown,
Which, though your heel
Be shod with steel,
Will burn you to the bone.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

A well-drcssed and rather pompous youth
asked young lady who was reading in the
cars, els that seat engaged, MADAME"
The answer was direct: eyes, sir, and
am engaged too" and the lady resumed
her reading.
A suppressed litter from some ladies close
by caused the young gentleman to make his
exit.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
LARGE STOCK OF
\ Spring Goods.

AT LOW PRICES.
l have now received my stock for the Spring
trade and would ask buyers to call and look
thro' before making their purchases. My assort-
ment in every department is more complete than
usual and l am prepared to offer inducements to
CASH BUYERS.
l have full line of
Dress Goods, Dress Trimmings, Fringes and
Buttons, Ginghams, Black and Col
ored Silks, Curtain Damask,
Cassimeres and other goods for Boys.
Carpets, -
Crockery and Glassware,
Groceries,
Shoes, Hats, &C., &c.
will not enumerate prices butwill bepleased
to show my goods to any one, and will try by
fair representations to convince them that my as
sortment and prices will compare favorably with
any other store in the Valley.
NJ j. ACKERMAN.
aur Diff
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
TAMES PAGAN.
81 Boot and Shoe Manufacturer.

MAIN STREET STAUNTUN.
Keeps constantly on hand large stock of su-
perior Leather and Shoe Findings, purchased in
large quantities and at the lowest figures and is
therefore prepared to make up in the neatest
style and at low prices, for cash, LADIES BALAo-
RAILS and POLISH Doors, of best FRENCH KID and
Boor MoRocco, MEMS WATERPROOF Doors, SHOES,
CATERS, &c.
He guarantees to give satisfaction both as to
price and finish Mems fine calf boots at $40 90.
JAN 10, '68-tf.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

DELICIOUS APPLE DEssERT.-Take some
fine, firm apples, pare and core them. Make
a strip of white sugar-proportions. three
quarters of pound to pound ofapples, and
after boiling for about ten minutes, put in
the apples; cook them slowly till no scum
rises and they are perfectly clear. Just
before theyj are done, add some of the peel
of fresh lemon, which can be laid over
them when they are put in glass bowl.
Eat them with cream, they make delicious
dessert.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
Noah, hence, was born A. NJ. 105f

Noah, hence, was born A. NJ. IO56
In Genesis, 7th chapter, 9th verse, we
are informed that Noah was six hundred
years old when the flood of water was upon
the earth. Add 900 years, his age, to
1866, the date of his birth, and we have
1856, the date of the food. We learn from
the 9th verse, 9th chapter Of Genesis, that
''all the days of Methuselah were $3.50 years,
and he died" By reference to the forego-
ing table it will be seen Methuselah was
born Ammo Mundi 687 add his age, 969 to
6S7, the date of his birth and we have 1856,
the time when the food of waters was upon
the earth The conclusion is as certain as
figures that the Oldest man was drowned for
his wickedness And is a remarkable
proof of the truth of the Bible figures.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
T.. F. MINOR,
r. F. MINOR & co.

WILL CONTINUE THE
/rONN SION B rs I " e. s s
Atthe Old Stand of Minor 4 Wilkinson,
1910 Main Street,
And solicit Consignments of Country Produce
and Merchandise Of all descriptions. Faithful
attention and prompt returns will DE our motto
Liberal Cash Advances made on all Consgn-
mentsi II hand, when desired
TT. MINOR & CO.,
Commission MERCHANTS,
1910 Main Street, Richmond, Va.
P. S-To Farmers and Merchants who are
holding CORN, RYE and OATS, by sending
Railroad receipts can draw at sight for any
amount they consign April 26-lse7-t
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

ssCan you tell me what smile is p asked
a gentleman of little girl. eyes, sir it's
the aVAisper ofa laugh"
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

To KEEP BUGS OUT OF PAPERED WALLS.
An experienced paperer states, that tur-
pentine mingled in the paste at the time OF
papering, is a sure remedy against the de-
predations of all insects. The remedy is
very simple.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

VIM. III. BRIGGS, General
w Commission Merchant,
No. 1906 Broad St., nert door to Va. Central
Rail Road Depot,
RICHMOND, Va.
Will give his undivided personal attention to
the sale of all kinds of Country Produce and
to illing orders for Merchandise generally and
hopes by PUNCTUALITY and STPIrT attffIp oo
ton to business, to merit a continuance VI 'no
patronage so literally bestowed heretofore.
No charge for Storage or Insurance.
RESPECTFULLY REFERS TO
Messrs. Baker Bros. Mcclure \ Bumgardner'
A. NJ. Pierce Co. and Powell Il Blackley,
Staunton, Va. o..,a pp
McClung & Bros. Greenville
Messrs. OFT, Spencer & Co. and Gibbs u Lo-
Messrs. P. Schumacher & Co., H. G. Guthrie
and VIM Guthrie Fishersville.
T. H. Antrim, Waynesboro
mays '68-
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

REMEDY FOR MosoU1ro B1TEs.-Keep
phial of glycerine at hand, and apply freely
to the bites it will relieve the irritation and
swelling at once-one application is general
ly sufficient
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

MuFF1N-A pint of warm milk, two.
thirds of a cup of yeast, one egg, piece Of
butter the size Of ah egg, and flour sufficient
to make batter Mix at night and set to
rise; bake in muffin rings in the morning.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

ID SrAUNToN VA.
VIM. A. BURKE, Proprietor,
NOTICE-Persons having Threshing Machines,
Reapers, Mowers, Drills, &C., needing repairs,
workmanship, at Burke's Iron Works at short
notice. l keep constantly on hand repairs for all
the leading machines in the country at manufac-
turer's prices. have supply Of sections for
the following machines
Buckeye Reaper and Mower,
Mccormick % - "
Wood g &c
Union /" "
also all the repairs for
Pitts and Sweepstakes Threshing Machines,
and
Bickford and Huffman's Grain and Guano Drill.
TERMS CASH. WIN. A. BURKE.
My~ am still putting up the best LIVINGS
TON PLOWS made in the State
VIM. A. BURKE.
iune19-tf .. .
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18

REFORM IN FARMING.-We are in the hab-
it drumming over much land, and running
it is; we must hurry to get the work done
not to do it well. If the season is backward,
worse still. There will be late sowing, which
is an evil-an evil generally there will be
bad blowing and insufficient narrowing, and
blowing and narrowing when the soil is too
wet-a greater evil than all the rest We
are crowded, straitened, and become vexcd;
we are anything but happy, day or mig int.
And when harvest comes the same evil is
there-a crowd, work on leap, too much
eff eff it opps W Rfnhaoess J9 'aaa esHaIe
will be lost There will be bad harvesting,
Smelling of the grain, and the grain grown,
musty or shrunken-less plump by not be-
ing cut early.
These are evils and they are chronic.
They will remain, in all likelihood, for
long time-the same thing to be gone over.
And this is farming. A mans conscience
must reprove him continually and this is not
pleasant. 1t is an uphill, miserable busi-
mesa mere life Of drudgery, And be-
cause farming needs reformation needs its
land cut up, or less acres to the man-less
labor and better cultivation. Then there
will be enjoyment as we'll as profit. Science
will do this-a true, correct view of the
case but the will must be there to engage
in it, and there is where the difficulty is
Journal of agriculture. ~
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1868-09-18
business Cards.

TchOIs, Bell, Catlett & Co.
REAL ESTATE AGENTS,
S. E. Corner of Court House Square,
STANTON, VIRGINIA..
We are now selling, and have constant de,
mand for Farming, Grazing, Timber and Mineral
Lands of all descriptions, Mills, &C., and we in
vite parties having such property for sale, es,
pecially in the county of Augusta, and the Val
ley of Virginia, to put the same in our hands
believing that we possess superior advantages
from our central location, and thorough knowl-
edge of the country, and our extensive business
relations, for securing purchasers
We make no charge for advertising or show
ing property, but when we find purchaser for
paid out Of the first payment made by the pur-
chaser.
Nov %, 1861: