Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1868-11-13
Josh Billings on BOOSTERS.

nafKaoie package Nv tethers has been for
ages food for philosophik as well as the
simple curious kind. They belong to
the feathered sekt denominated poultry,
and are the husbands of menney wives.
In Utah it is konsidered a disgrace to
peak disrespectful of a rooster. Brig
ham Young's coat of arms is a rooster,
in full blast Growing till he is almost bent
over double backward.
The flesh ov the rooster is very similar
tew the flesh Of the hen; it is hard tew
distinguish the difference, especially IN
yure soup. BOOSTERS are the pugilists
amung the domestic burds; they wear
the belt and heving no shoulder tew
strike from, they strike from the heel.
BOOSTERS, according to profane history,
if mi edukashun remembers me right,
were formerly man, who came sudden.
ly upon one ov the heather gods, at q
time when he want prepared tew see
company, and waz, for that offense, re-
built over into the fust rooster, and was
for ever aftorward destined tew crow, as
kind NV warning. This change from D
man akounts for their fighting abilities,
and for their poiteness tew the hens.
Thare is nothing in man that woman
admires more than his reddyness and
ability tew smash another fellow, and it
IL jist SO with hen. When a rooster
gifts licked the hens all march oph with
the other rooster, if he amt half SO big
or handsome.
| 1t il pluck that wins hen or a woman.
Thare IL a great variety NV pedigree
amung the rooster race, but for stiddy
bizness give me the old fashioned domini-
que.rooster, short-legged, and when they
walk, they alwus strut, and their buz
Gums stick out like an Alderinan's alb
| dominal cupboard. This breed il hawk
colored, and has crooked tail on them
arched like sickle, and az full ov feath-
ers az new buster.
But when you come right down to
grit, and THROWN all outside influences
overheard, there amt nothing on earth,
nor under it, that can out-style, out step,
out brag, or out-pluck regulos Rantum
rooster.
They alwua put me in mind ov very
small dandy practicing before looking
glass.
They don't weigh more than so oun-
ces, but they make az much fuss az a TIM.
l have seen them trying to pick quar-
rel with q two-hoss wagon, and don't
think they would hesitate to fight q
meeting house if it wuz the least sassy to
them.
1t is more than fun to hear one NV
these little chevaiers crow; it IL like a
four-year old baby trying tew sing line
out ov the Star Spangled Banner.
The hen partner in this concern il the
most exquisit little boquet ov neatness
and feathers that the eye ever roasted on.
They are az prim az premature yung
lady. 1t IL luxury to watch their dain-
tyness, tew see them lay each feather
with their bills in its place, and preside
over themselves with az much delieacy az
belle before her mirror.
But the consumma.ion il tew see the
wife mother, leading out six little chicks
a bugging six little chicks no bigger
than bumblebees.
1t seems tew be necessary that there
should be sumthing outrageous in evry-
thing tew show us where propriety ends,
and improperly begins. This IL melan-
cholv, the case in the rooster affair, for
we have the shanghi rooster, the greatest
Outrage. in mi opinyun, ever committed
in the annals of poultry.
Thee kritters are the camels amung
fowls, they NOPE around the barnyard,
tipping over the hay racks, and stepping
on the yung goslins, and evry now and
then they crow confusion.
If emmy body should Civ me a shang-
hi rooster should halter him, and keep
him in box stall, and feed him on cut
| feed, and if he would work kind in har-
ness, all right, if not, would buther him
the fust wet day that cum, and salt him
down tew give to the poor.
But there amt nobody going few Civ
me one Of this breed, knot if know it,
i don't think there il man on earth
mean enough to do it.
BOOSTERS do but very little household
work. they won't lay emmy eggs, nor Try
tew hatch emmy; nor see tew the young
ones; this satisfys me that there is sum
truth in the NEUROLOGICAL aekount of the
ROSTERS fust origin.
Yu can't get rooster to pay emmy at
tention to a yung one, they spend their
time in growing, strutting, and occasion
ally find worm which they make re-
markable fuss over, calling up their wifes
from distance, apparently tew treat
them, but just as the hens git thars, this
elegant and elaborate cuss bends over
and gobbles up the morsel.