The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1868-02-07
A EuiOgy Of woman by Mark
HNVmhsA. :,

At tho dinner given by tie Correspond.
cnts' Club at Washington, 90 Saturdayhight,
Mark Twain was called ON to respond to
the usual toast to " Woman,' which he did
in tho following characteristic style:
"Mr. President: do not know why |
should bavo been singled out to receive
tue greatest diatipctiQn of tho evening"
for so tho office of replying TO the toast to
woman has been regarded in eVcry,agc.
IApplauso do not know why l'hhvo
received tlls distinction, unless it be that
| am ~ triflo less homely than the othbr
lnenbofs Of the club. Bnt be this az it
may, Mr.. President, am proud Of tho posi-
tion, aud you could not have chosen any
ono who would have accepted 1t more
gladly, or laborcd with n hearicr good,
will to do tho subject Justice, than !. BE.
cause, sir, ! loyo tho sex Laughter. |
love an tho WOMEN, sir, irrespective o1 age
or color. llIaush htor. ,4 a e q
" Human intelligence cannot estimate
what we'6We to woman. sir. She sows on
our buttons laughter sho mends our
clothes aughler she ropes usdh at the
church lairs--she t0nfdos III nk she tells
us whatever she can find ont about the
little private nf,irs ofthc ncighbors she
gives us good adyice--and plenty OF il
gives us piece OF her MUD sometimes
aud sometimes all Of it; sho soothcs our
aching brows she bears our children
ours as a general thug. In all The Tcla
tions Of life, sir, it isYbut Just and grace
full tribute to woman TO say Of her that she
is brick. Great laughter.
"Whorosoevcr you place woman, sir--ill
whatever position or estate--she is an
ornament to that place she occupies, and
treasure to tho world. Here MIR. Twain
paused looked inquiringly at his hearers,
and remarked that the applause should
come in that point. II tcamo in. Mr. Twain
resumed his oulogy Look at tho noble
names OF historyl Look at Cleopatra
look at desdemoua look at Florence Night
ingalel book at joan of Arc !look at Lucro.
tia BorgN! Disapprobatiou expressed,
Well said Mr., Twain, scratching his
head doubtlully, suppose we let lucrctia
sile.1 Look at. Joyce He'll 4 look at
Mother Eve! Cries of 'Ohl' 'Oh!l
You need not look at her unless you want
to, but (said Mr.. Twain rcIleQtiyely, after
pausc,) Eve was ornamented, sir partition.
larly before tho fashions changed | re-
peat sir, look at the illustrious nam IS of
history. Look at tho Widow Machrecl
look at Lucy Stone look at Elizabeth Cady
Stanton look at George Francis Train
IGreat laughter. And, sir, | say it with
bowed head and deepest veneration, look
ut the mother OF Washing ton! she raised
boy that could not ie--could not lie. Ap.
phuse1 But ho never had any chance,
ION, 0nll 1t might have been different
with him ii he had belonged TO newspaper
correspondents club. Laughter, groans,
Kisses, cries of put him out" Mark
looked around placidly upon his excited
audience and resumed,
&c repeat, sir, that in whatsoever posi-
ton you place woman she is an ornament
to society and treasure TO tho world. As
u sweetheart she has few equals aud no
superiors laughter Ms cousin she is
convenient wealthy grandmothe:,
with an inourable distemper, she is pre-
cious--as wet Nurse she has no equal
among menl Laughterl
what, sir, would tho peoples of tho
earth bo without womanp y
They would be scarce, sir--almighty scarce!
Thon let us cherish her-let us protect her
lot us give her our support, our encourage.
ment, our sympathy if wo get
a chance. laughter
But, ies;ing aside, Mr.. President wo.
man is loyaOle, gracious, kind of heart,
boautilul~worthy of all respect, of all
esteem, of all dctorencc. Not any here
will refuse to drink her health right cor.
daily III this bumper of wine, for zach and
ovory ono of It's has personally known. and
lovod, and honurod tho bost one of them
all--hs own mother! Applause,