The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1868-06-26


How the Faithful Were Drilled
Posr OFFIs, CoNFEDRIr X ROADS,
(Wich is in the State NV ky.,) I
:, svrs,s IL June 16, 1865. J
The selectin nv delegates to tn
Moo York Convenshun hez bin bosh
erin us in several ways for sevra
weeks past. No one wantid TO go
and it wuz yoonanimusly decided D,
all that eff the Corners wuz representa-
at sill. | must be the man. Iobiected
for ther amt no profit in sich trips
Ordinarily, 1 Good cheek my expen
ses Hotel keepers are but human
and hev meyer yet tailed to stick em
Int with Democratic convenshen IL
fall blast it wood be a hopeless enter
prise. With ten thousand like me
sII a coin on their cheek, wat woot
tber be Cor me2 With ten Thousand
hungry, thirsty, empty pockited sole
wat Good / do? Therefore lfelt tina
{ Good not 60. l wrote to A. j. t.
know eff he wood allow per diem
transportashen and mileage to dele
gates, TO wich he ansered:
sSIR-For wich candidates do 700
delegates perpOse to vote 2"
This crOoel epistle settled me.
couldn't 60 there pledged to him, be
coz eff he shoOdent be nomilated wa
wood become Nv my Post Otis
Wood his successor continyoo me il
place, who he'd bin active in support
NV another?
Finally the day for our convenshul
came, and we assembled. Bascon
wuz nominated. but he declined
Deekin Pogram wuz offered the honor
and he declined, and so did Nctel
ter, Issaker Gavitt. Podhammer an(
Lie rest nv en-. We naasad all th.
first day in tryin to get one who woO(
stick, but all in vane. Mite came
we adjourned till nine the next morn
la, when we resoomed our unsuccess
full endeavors to persuade each otheI
to 90 TO Moo York. Another day
wuz thus fruitlessly spent, and still
another and snOther-the last leavir
US no nearer our haven than the first
And SO a week passed. We met ev.
cry mornin. coaxed, begged and
swore at each other till mite, only t6
meet and 60 through the same for
mula the next day. felt that, on
less suthin wuz done, the Corners
wood go unrcpresented.
On the eighth day, at about ten in
The mornin, Deekin Pogram's young
,st boy, a tair haired lad of fourteen
who resembles the Deekin
20 a degree quite complimentary to
his mother, came in with the Moo
York Day Book, wich the Deekin
takes but never reeds. The Deekin
lost it over to Bascom, who opened
t, and read mint, when his face
instantly. "Hell!" sed he,
20 himself, and then he aroze:
"Mr. Cheerman," sed he, "to end
his Improbable session, l wood say
hat hev reconsidered my determi.
lashen. / will 60 to Moo York %
The Conyenshen wuz thunder
struck. Wat did it mean! The
]eekin seized the paper, and glancin
,ver its columns, read painfully q
mint and sed that he wuz surprized
It MIR. Bascom's asshoorence. 81
hel be a delegate myself" sed he.
BY this time McPelter read il, and /
,ot it and read this paragraph:
"Let the Western Democrisy be-
ware. They must come, On the
Fourth, prepared to encounter bri-
,ery and corrupshen. Belmont and
he Wall street clique hev raised
q, 600, 900 to be yoosed in the pur-
hase Nv delegates to defeat Pendle-
on"
The Deekin pertested agin Bas-
om's goin. "Yoo can't be spared"
hrieked he. "Who will run the
iznis in yoor absence2 Is ther q
ian i'm the Corners yoo dare trust
lside yoor bar minit2 No, will
o."
Not So" shrieked McPelter, I"will
o ez delegate. 1 hev bore the heat
nd burden nv the day wuz with
orrest, and, now that ther is a
hance to make suthin-that is, now
lat ther is a posishen NV prof-wich
to say honor, / want it."
Isaker Gavitt, with face pale with
that he hadn't taken
when it wuz offered him, swore that
the Gavitt family wuz to be over
'oked, why the sooner Democrlsy
uz buried the better.
Somewhere in the course Nv my
,adin, / cum across an account NV
le trouble that wuz perdoost in a
Theological heaven by some cuss
ho tost in a golden apple, labelled
20 the fairest," or words to that
feck. The announcement that Bel
ont he'd q million and a half to in
,st in delegates wuz the golden ap-
e wich set as in uproar. Every
Iss In the convenshun wanted to be
delegate immejitly, and the result
lz, the entire bilin cum 10 blows. III
d the mortificashen Nv seein BascOm
Ith his fingers clutched in the neck
; Nv the NV the venerable Pogram,
saker Gavitt and McPelter wuz
engaged, while / wuz a doin
v level best to restrain POdhammer
)m msssacreein me. Had not Joe
gler and Pollock arrived oppor-
only the entire DemocrIsy nv the
'rners wood hev bin wiped out on
e spot.
1t wuz finally settled by THROWN |,
,e for it, witch rool ought, by the /,
". to be adopted by all Democratic ,
diesleverywhere. Randall and Nc =.
lloch hev praetist it with distin-
ished success in maxim their ap-
,tments. Say ther are twenty ap-
cants, or, to getnearer the trooth, a
zee hundred, for any given place. 4
ry good. The head NV the de- b
rtment assertains first eff they are s
Dimocras. Then three hundred |,
rks are detailed, each clerk rep- b
entin a applicant, and they throw n
e, the lowest retirin every throw,
Ill one is victorious, and the man
resented by him gifts the place C.
saves a vast amount Nv labor in r,
eggsaminashun NV ceritfikits NV in
akter and fitnis, DC; and besides, in
imparshel. All the appointments d
now made in that way at Wash N
ln. q,