Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1868-11-17
PUBLIC LEDGER.
LAReEST OITg OTRnUIATI0N.
Tn. Private Habits Of tho white-coated
Philosopher.
ny rIsK rwAms

IT..
In the morning; for Il was one Of his
favorite maxims that only early rising
can keep the health unimpaired and the
brain vigorous. He then wakes up all
the household and assemblies them In the
library by candle-light, aud after quoting
the beautiful illness:
.Early TO bed and early 10 rise,
Makes man healthy. wealthy and wise.
he appoints each individuals task Tor
the day, sets him at il with encouraging
words aud goes back to bed again. L
mention here, in no fault.fnding spirit,
but with the Difference justly due a man
whs is older and wiser and worthier than
/, that he snores awfully. In moment
Of irritation once, was rash enough to
say never would sleep with him until
he broke himself Of this unfortunate
habit. have kept my word with bigoted
and upwaveripg determination.
At liz o'clock, Mr.. Greeley rises
again. He shaves himself. He consid-
ers that there is great virtue and econ
omy in shaving himself, He does it
with dull razor, sometimes humming
part Of tune (he knows part OF tune,
and takes an innocent delight in regard
ing it as the FIRST half Of "0ld Hun
bred" but parties familiar with that
hymn have felt obliged TO confess that
they did not recognize 1t, and there
fore the noise he makes is doubtless an
unconscious original composition of Mr..
Greeley's), and sometimes when the
razor is especially dull he accompanies
himself with formula like this Damn
the damned razor and the damned out
cast who made It'll. G.
He then goes out into lis model gar
den and applies bis vast store of agricul.
tural knowledge to the amelioration of
his cabbages; after which he writes an
able agricultural article for the instruc-
ton of American farmers, his soul
cheered the while with the reflection that
if cabbages were worth eleven dollars q
piece his model farm would pay.
he next goes to breakfast, which is a
frugal, abstemious meal with him, and
consists of nothing but just such things
as the market affords, nothing more. He
drinks nothing but water-nothing what
ever but water and coffee, and tea, and
Scotch ale, and lager beer, and lemonade
with fly in it-sometimes house fly
and sometimes horse fly, according TO
the amount of inspiration required to
warm him up to his daily duties. During
breakfast be reads the Tribune all
through and enjoys the satisfaction of
knowing that all the brilliant things in it,
written by Young, and Cooke, and Haz-
ard and myself are attributed to him. by
a confding and internal public.
After breakfast he writes a short ed
itorial, and puts large dash at the be-
ginning of it, thus @, which is the
same as if he puts Fl. G. after it, and
takes savage pleasure in rejecting that
none of US understrappers can use that
dash, exceptin profane conversation when
chsfng over the outrage. He writes
this editorial in his own handwriting. He
does it because he is so vain of his pen
manship. He always did take an inordi- |
nate pride in his peRmanship.
He hired out once, in his young days,
as writing but the enterprise
failed. The pupils could not translate
his remarks with any certainty. His FIRST
copy was virtue is its own reward" aud
they got it washing with soap is wholly |
absurd )" and so the trustees discharged |
him for attempting to convey bad morals |
through the medium of worse penman-
ship. But, as was saying, be writes his |
morning editorial Then he tries to read |
it over, but can't do it, and so sends it to |
the printers, aud they try to read it and |
cant do it; and so they set it up at ram
dom, as you may say, putting in what |
words they can make out, aud when they |
get aground on long word they put in |
reconstruction or universal suf- |
frage," and spar off and paddle ahead; |
and the next morning if the degraded |
public can tell what it is all about, they |
say 81. G. wrote it; aad if they can'tthey |
say it ,is one of those imbecile under. |
strappers, and that is the end Of it.
On Sundays Mr.. Greeley sits in prom
inent pew in Mr.. Chapn's church, and |
lets on that he is asleep, and the eongre-
CATION regard it as an eccentricity of |
genius.
When he is going to appear in public,
Mr.. Greeley spends two hours on his |
toilet. He is the most pains.taking and
elaborate man about getting up his dress
that lives in America. This is bis chief
est and his pleassntest foible. He puts
on his old white overcoat, and turns up
the collar. He puts on soiled shirt,
saved from from the wash, and leaves one
end Of the collar unbuttoned. He puts
on his most dilapidated hat, turns it
wrong side before, cants it on to the back
Of his head, and jams an extra dent in
the side OF it. He puts on his most afro
cious bosts, and spends fifteen minutes
tucking the leg of his pants into his boot
top in what shall seem the most careless
and unstudied way But his cravat-it
is into the arrangement of his crsvst that
he throws all bis soul, all the powers Of
his great mind. After fixing at it forty
psinutes before the glass, it is perfect-it
is askued everyway-it overAows his coat
collar on one side and sinks into oblivion
on the other-it climbs and delves around
about his neck-the knot is conspicu-
ously displayed under his left ear, and ii
stretches one of its long ends straight out
horizontally, and the other goes after his
eve in the good old Toodles fashiop-and
then. completely and maryelously ap-
pareled, Mr.. Greeley strides forth, rolling
like q sailor, miracle of astounding
costumery, the awe and wonder of the
nations
But / haven't time to. tell the rest OF
his private habits. Suffice it that be is
an upright and an honest mana useful
man to bis nation and bis generation-s
famous man who has justly earned his
celebrity-and withal the worst dressed
man in this or any other country, even
though he does take so much pains and
put on SO many frills about il.
Grants Rssignation.
Some Of the newspapers, in discussing