The St. Cloud journal. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1866-1876, 1868-05-21
TIE NICE YOUNG MAN.


the Round TuIle finds in the "Nice
Young Man" a pleasant subject for sat
ire. Young ladies arc proverbia9ly
careless in their use Of epithets, and on
no subject more 50 than in their de-
scriptions of their gentleman acquaint-
ances. The nice young man will fire.:
quently be made to run through the
gamut of adjectives, from ''pertectly
splendid'' to "pcrfectly awful" and &C.
casionally he is so unfortunate as to DO
thought "swcct pretty" But no cpl
tibet is so universal as "nice," and
scarcely any one is so inaccurate unless
indeed, it be used in its original s'gpi-
ication Of ignorant. Tho "nics young
man." however, must now be regarded
as an established institution, and VIC
cannot, perhaps, do better than to give
the Round Tables Characterization Of
him:
Everybody knows ths nice young
man; everybody has seen him. He is
that mild and pleasing person who says
''Oh, yes !" and "Ah, indeed - with so
much vivacity; who is always the first
to hand around the ices at the party !;
who knows all about all the weddings
and engagements and balls; who es-
corts the mamma to the carriage, and
suffers her to converse at him so anna
bly,. He seldom talks much, but he is
so nice. Generally he is in tho dry
goods line, and frequently member Of
the Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton. He has been known to attempt
to teach in Sunday School, but the
mental exertion is commonly too Sc
we're. His personal appearance is not
remarkable. He is usually fair, with
light hair and gentle blue eyes. 1t is
desirable that he should have a NOUS
tachc, straw-colored if possible, and in
size like an exaggerated eyebrow. His
dress must be SO perfect as to leave,
like himself, no definite impression on
the mind except one Of extreme nice
ness, and his back hair should always
be parted in an exact line with the
seam of his collar. Brains in modera-
ton are not, as we have already init
mated, ali absolute objection, but their
possession should be carefully hidden.
Ideas are fatal to his supremacy. One
Of tie incest young men we ever knew
lost forever his proud pre-cminence
from the fatal accidental commission Of
thought. But feelings he may, in
deed must, constantly exhibit; it is in
dispensable that the real nice young
man should be as sensitive as new au-
thor or pubic lunctiouary accused Of
speculation. He may play little Oh
the piano, OF better still, on the guitar,
and occasionally sing to bis own accom-
paniment in an unobtrusive tenor
sometimes he paints nicely, and often
writes poetry Of sentimental nature
not fatiguingly intellectual, and he dam
ces-oh ! he dances divineIy.
The end and scope Of the nice young
mans existence is not so easy to define.
The poet tells US that thing Of "beau-
ty is joy forever" and THE nice young
man is always thing of beauty then,
too, his fair worshipers probably find
him useful. He is al1ays Sd obEging,
os willing to carry parcels, so ready
to escort one to the opera or ball,
to make up,a set or hold worsted, ITO
take dear Aunt Jane down to supper,
so eager, to do him justice, for any SER
vice, where eagerness does not need to
be supplemented by intellect. And as
thes. are two things which somebody
must do, the nice young man has his
place in the economy of creation. Per-
haps he is intended to show how small
a quantity Of brains is necessary for hua.
man existence. We have sometimes
thought that his mission was to pre-
serve one from marrying that nice girl
who is his counterpart, whom every;
body falls in love with, and, being SOON
cr or later cut out by the nice young
man, blesses his star forever after. On
the whole, We think it most probable
that the latter is the design of heaven
in his creation.