The New Orleans crescent. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1866-1869, 1868-05-03
HAFHICAINE.
Written for the Sunday Crescent.

beer. II is written after tie style Of Picknick
vs.. BurdeIl-s long ways after.
A room up stairs In an alley 10 the Crescent
City, which city 1t is In the Land We Love-
The room contains the usual appurtenances OF
pettfoggeris Office, such as table in the middle
of the somewhat uneven floor, q whatnot con.
tanning the Revised Statutes OF the State OF Lou
isiana Greeley's Almanac, BlaeBstone's Common
taTies the Congressional Globe, and " How to
be a Lswyer!n In the corner stands an old
fashioned chest on legs, with its brass rings with
which to open the drawers, and evidently an heir
loom from the contemporaries OF De Soto.
Around the Office, In the most staid manner pos
sible, stand q row OF precisely one dozen chairs,
which have done the State some service, and they
show il.
As we entered, the GreatIMan was sitting at his
table, pouring over a lot of papers, and appa-
rently very much occupied. For a moment he
did not appear to notice the presence of the half
dozen gentlemen who had thus entered uuan.
nounced, but soon he raised the partially bald
head, and with patronizing air, said:
Morning, gentlemen"
The half dozen seated themselves, while the
Great Man gszed over bis eyeglasses at the pa
pers before him, seemingly thinking that not only
the dostinies Of the poor mortals before him were
hanging upon his shoulders, bat also those of the
people OF Louisiana. Soon, however, be wheeled
In his chair, raised his classic brow, aud looking
over the aforesaid eyeglasses, he asked in
measured tones:
"ATe you here for the purpose Of trying the
1--WE arev
"And you, and you and your"
"Yes; all Of us, with the exception Of those
that aint!p
The Great Man then resumed his wonderfully
impressive manner over the scattered documents.
But soon the threshold was darkened by the
presence of a form whose imposing grandeur
calculated to impress upon little children things
unutterable: on large children a feeling OF I'M
certainty as to whether he was the author of mis-
being or his Being was the author of him! Rest
ing upon head of hair on which a whole bottle
of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup was indlifer.
emily shaken was hatof Darey's make, some ten
years behind the age, and supporting head hair
and hat was stand-up collar that indicated but
too plainly that the majestic presence did not
get his shirts at Moody's. In his left hand he
carried parcel 10 an envelop that would have
astonished headquarters" by its Dimensions,
while in his right he carried a stick some what re-
semblmg pike, ornamented from ferule to handle
with the best of Germany silver. His Royal High
ness moved 10 muscle of his countenance, he did
not bend his head to the humans before him, but
CONTEMPORARY advancing to the table he
gaZed upon the Great Man a moment, where
upon a slight mumbling ensued, and His Royal
Hgbness slowly extended his len hand in token
of recognition.
AHA, you have the afidavityn said the Great
Man. rising.
II have brought. it in proprfa persona; is the
offender present?'
'There ~ and the Great Man pointed to the
one handed prisoner. who appeared calm, cool
and collected, and with quiet expression of con.
tempt as well as conscious innocence. The Great
Man then took the paper OF victory or Of death
in his hand and with out condescendinQ to gaze
upon Our Learned Friend" (also with eye
gasses,) be reached forth the document at arms
length, like to Jack Cade when he reaches out his
cartel or TO Don Jose when he exslaims: "Sign,
Don Cesarp ~
Our Learned Friend,n who acted as counsel
for the accused, quietly took the paper and seated
himself While he is examining IT, will portray
his personnel. He was youth to fortune and t.
fame unknown, who had loved not wisely, bat 2
well. His eye fatered not, his hair curled not
hut his lip did. He was dressed up in his Sunday
go-to-meetiDg clothes, his shirt was proper aud
everything about him was faultless save his era
vat, and That suited han. In fact, his clothes as
well as his brains, were OF the best make.
At last the Great Man announced that the court
was open for retail trade, and the trial of Pick.
nick vs.. Burdell commenced.
"Coriolanus, what say you to this ERE charge;
are You guilty or amt yer?"
Not. guilty."
But they went right on to try to make out that
he was guilty after he had told 'em he wasn't.
Our Learned Friend said but little in opening the
court or in opening his case or in opening his
mouth; but what he did say was substantially
and statistcally and satisfactorily to the point.
his Royal Highness arose. The hat was re-
moved by aid of the left hand, in part and by use
of the pike-shaped cane on the portion of the
said chdpedu. Then, with cane in hand, he pro-
ceeded, IN tone OF voice which would have as
tonished MetamOra, as follows: MAY it il please
the court - Here the court put its thumbs through
the arm holes Of his waistcoat and pleasedD
" May il please the court, this affidavit, made By
Mini Sahib, Johnny Sabittis, Tippo Rsjah ct ais
newly enfranchised tSenegamban) citizens of
the province of Loeeeseeanna, do hereby and here.
on surfeitfy and that they were not allo we'd
TO do as they pleased according to the civil rights
William (csed Bill for sh0rt) as handed down to
us by that great patriot and statesman, the Hon.
Habeas Corpus: that they were deprived Of the
~ 1ian Ia
an American citizen to vote in one ward on
registration paper, and to vote in every other
ward at the same election on an affidavit of the
loss OF the same. (See order of James Buchanan,
9th chapter, eighth precinct poll No. ~ Sir, |
will not attempt TO lay before this tribunal the
barefaced atrocty perpetrated by this prisoner at
the bar, which bar he has actced on the outside
Of ever since he had Is cents TO spend; and may
II please the court, i may here disgress to say
that have seen many young men beside the
prisoner, practicing at the bar. which should be
an ornament end bulwark to society-many a
promising ito pay young man admitted to the
bar, who would stand up and disgrace that bar
and themselves and the profession by drinking
vile, poisonous, deadly gin and whisky. when, nay
1t please the court, that same bright intellect
might have been an ornament to society, aud to
the bar especially, by calling for gentemanly
drink Of brandy! Here his Royal Highness drew
his handkerchief from rear pocket in his some.
what dilapidsted coat, and blowing his nose like
the blast of bugle, proceeded, after, to put it
upon the head of the cane aforesaid, and wipe
the perspiraton from that giant brow where
brains are wont to dwel)
hay II please your honor my construction OF
this case is so simple that it is difficult to com-
prehend IL ; the prisoner has abducted human ma
iure in its effort 70 stufy itself in the exercise Of
re franchise; (see Blackstone's Commentaries oa
HOyle's Games) Mark this: he has sent men, |
brave, beautiful, beaming black men. that came |
up to vote early and often as pesceable citizens,
Tor you, sir, and for me-he has sent them, sir,
helpless and unarmed. yOnder, where clouds |
tower darkest over the dome of the Bastile!"
Here his Royal Highness paused with both paws, |
and stretching out his right arm at full length |
and pointing his index finger, he slowly and sol. |
EMMY said, in the tones of Hamlet's Ghost: "Wl |
the court reach me the Revised StatoOtes Of the |
state OF Looeese sanna?" And the court dropped |
Us eyeglasses and reached il; yes, that court |
he Great Man before whom one portion of the |
citizens Of Louisiana had been summoned to ap- |
pear and the other portion hadn't, that man who |
was born to strike the loud earth breathless with
bis eloquence Tin selling charcoal or selling fresh |
1sh actually passed the Revised Statutes; and /
bis Royal Higbness who could have made for
June selling the King of PAIN - on tha tail of a