The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1868-07-29
9ltosrsolt yr1ttllige1lftr, !,
EEz BACHELORS BABY.
a TRUE STORY.

for his mother was nervous before HIM.
Mr.. Gorban was bachelor Of forty-five,
remarkably well preserved, and rather line
looking. He had a portly figure and fiorid
complexion, and head Of dark brown
hair, which any man might have been ex-
cused for feeling proud of. Mr. Corban
wassvery well of. lie had never kept
house; perhaps he knew that elderly bach.
elors and widowers were generally fated
to marry their housekeepers and MIR. Cor
ban regarded marriage and the gallows as
about on par. Women and babies he
considered a very unnecessary part OF Gre
alton. The mystery Of their having been
allowed an existence he never could solve.
He could not helpregarding their creation
as a grave mistake somew here. lie boarded
at Mrs. Gregg's, and had made his home
there. for fifteen years. Mrs. Gregg was as
much like a man as she could be and still
be woman.
One day last summer it became evident
to Mr.. Corban that he must take journey
West. The interests Of his business de-
manded it :. so he put up few things into
valise, said good-morning to Mrs. Gregg,
and set out to the depot. He was five
minutes late, for his necktie had givenhim
a great deal of trouble, and had been una
BILE to find pair of stockings which were
not destitute of toes. But he had comfort
ed himself with the reflection that, as he
had boots on, no one would be the wiser in
regard to the condition of his toes, and at
last he cot off. lie heard the whistle, and
started or the run Il. there is anything
calculated to put ore out of temper. it is
having to run to eaten the cars; and our
hero may be excused If, when dripping
with perspiration and completely out OF
breath, he rushed into the first car which
offered; ;-he was irritated with all the world,
himself included.
The car was well filled. In fact, there
was only one vacant seat, and that was
beside woman. Corban tried to seek the
next car, but was met by the conductor at
the door.
sNo room in there, sir. All full. Ami
Yersary4 y4meeting at Parkersburg; there is
seat, sir p indicating the one beside the
woman.
ssCorban was troubled with a touch of the
rheumatism in his left knee, and could not
stand comfortably - nothing else could
haye-forced him to get SO near one OF the
sex. He stepped up TO her and made the
gtereotyped inquiry:
ssThis seat engaged?"
'sNo, SIR" replied very sweet voice /;
and .Corban saw that the speaker had ex-
pressiye blue eyes and golden hair.
He took the seat, and the lady drew the
bundle she had been partially resting on
tho orebio,, into her Ian
ssBettter let me put your bundle up on
the-rack:9 9'' suggested Mr.. Corban.
The lady opened her eyes in indignant
amazement, whipped off layer OF flannel
from the package, and displayed to the
Mortified eyes OF our bachelor friend the
red, puffy face of a moon-eyed baby. .
"Muzzer's little 'tweety sugar darling"
she exclaimed by the dialect which is per-
fectly ineligible to all babydom. "Muz-
zer won't let the naughty man put the
little lammie, lump baby up on the rack"
The baby struck out nnenacingly with its
fat fists in the direction of Mr.. Corban, and
gave utterance to yell of triumph. Mr..
Corban broke into a cold perspiration. He
had never been so near baby in all his
life-and baby and woman, too! 1t
W c1S dlIUCSI IOO lluCll iO1 I'LL.
He had strong mind to stand the re-
mainder Of the way, or until somebody
vacated seat, but his knee gave an extra
twinge and decided him to try and endure
the terrible state of things. He took a
paper from his pocket and essayed to read,
but the baby had lunched out in one Of
those baby refrains which is like music in
yhe ears Of all mothers, and the cooling so
confused our bachelor hero that he took no
sense of his paper; so he pocketed it with
the savage determination to petition the
next Congress for women with babies to
be kept in cars by themselves.
At the first stopping place he was on the
lookout for seat, and to his JOY discovered
the gentleman in the next seat making
preparations to leave; but before he was
fairly out of his seat, an old lady, IN green
shawl and poke bonnet, had edged into it,
and cut off Mr.. Corbans hopes. Of course
she turned round and began at once to talk
to the baby:
'Dcar little chicken! How old is it,
marm ?"
'Almost eight months" said the proud
ssWell, I declare! What large child
ofits age! Why, there was my Enoch,
when he wss year, he warn't a mite no
grain bigger than that child. But then,
Enooh, he had the whooping cough, and
the-ineasIes, aud the nettle-rash, and the
coilaretta iafantici(!e, atore he was eleven
months. And expecJ them diseases had
some effect Oh HE constitution"
81 should think SC" replied the baby's
mother.
aYou look. tired, DEAR" went on the old
lady; "the baby must be dreadful heavy.
Shy don't you let his pa take him ?" with
an expressively reproachful glance at the
savage countenance of Mr. Corban.