Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1868-06-05
| Edl6y Of WamaR BY s1Eark
Twain"

At the dinner given by the Cores
p0ndents' Club at Washington, on Sat
urday night, "Mark Twain" was called
on to respond to the usual toast to ''Wo-
man, which he did in the following
6aNir. Pre eit /: Id6 not know why
I should have been Singled out to re-
oeive the greatest distinCtion Of the eve-
ning-for so the Office of replying to the
toast to woman has been regarded in
every ages EApplapse.l i 4 donot know
why 1 have received this distinction,
unless it be that am trifie less home
ly than the other members of the clubs
But be this IS iB may Mr.. President,
am proud of the position, and yOu
could not have chosen any one who
would have ,Jceepted ia ftQEe gladly, of
la bored with a heartier goodwill To- do
the sdb5ecg Justice, than /. Because,
sir, / love the sex. [Iaushier1 | love
all the women, siT, trFcsp spectiVe of age
or color. CLaughter.l
sfHuman intelligence cannot estimate
what we owe to woman, sir She seWs
our buttons Elaughterl, she mends our
clothes flaughterls shesrOpes US in at
the church fairs-she cOnfides in US
she tells us whatever she can find out
about the little private affairs of the
neighbors she gives US good advice
and plenty of 1t she gives us piece Of
her mind sOmebimes--and. sometimes
3
she bears our children-Ours as q gem
eral thing. In all the relations of life,
sir, it is but Just and q graceful tribute
to woman to say of her that she is q
brick. Gfreat laughter.
tsWheresOever you place woman1s sir
in whatever position or estate-she is
an ornament to that place she occupies,
and a treasure to the World. Here Mr..
Twain paused, looked inquiringly at
his hearers, and remarked that the ap-
plause should come in at this point. It
came in. Mr.. Twain resumed his eulc-
CYL Look at the noble names of his
tOryl Look at Cleopatra! look at Des-
demOna look at Florence Nightingale
look at Joau Of -AHeri look at LUcretia !
BorgiR Misrepresentation expressed /
well, > said Mr.. Twain, scratching his 1
head 0oubtfully, suppose we let Lue-
retia slide.] Look at Joyce Heth! look /
at Mother EYei ECries of fOh! 2 tOh ~ /
You need not look at her unless you I
want TO, but (said Mr.. Twain reflective- /
ly, after pause,) Eve was ornamental, /
sir particularly before the fashions /
I repeat, sir, look at the il /
lustriOus names of history. Look at
the Widow MaChree look at Lucy
Stone look at Elizabeth aCady Stanton I
look. at George Francis Train CGreat
laughtersl And, sir, / say il with
bowed head and deepest veneFation,
look at the mother Of Washington! She
-a-Ao00 q BlN A4Aah GBUlOs NOT AAE--EOuAQ
not lie. CApplRuse.J But he never had
any chance. lOh, Oh u It might have
been different with him il he had be-
longed to newspaper correspOndeut's
club Laughter, groans, misses. cries
Of ''pllt him out. = Marx looked around
Dlaei1ly upon his excited audience and /
II repeat, sir, that in whatsoever DOS
tiOn you place a woman she IS an oTn-
lInent to society and a treasure TO the ,
world, As sweetheart she has few /
'quals and no superiors Elaughterl; as ]
cousin 5ne IS convenient -as q wealthy
with an incurable dis
emperi she is precious-as a wet nurse I
ne has no equal ameng mon Laugh
''Vhat, sir, would the peoples of the d
arth be without woman? &
~.a@ They would be scarce, sirt
almighty scarce Then let us. cher 4
"a her-let us protect her-let Us give F
81 our support, Our sncourgE gEoemt, our
ourselves, if we get q =
nance. CLaughter.l
But testing asids, M. fFesfa fasas {
oman isseeE bic, gtRclunG slzlua % n
5arts beaut1ful-WoFthE-o all respect, E,
al esteem, Of all def5renoe. Not any ca
ere viii refuse to drink her health &s
ght cordially IN this bumper of wine, -
Z each and every one of us has per- 7.
,ln193llF 2 known and loved, and honor =
ne very best one OF them alI-his
Fh motheri" Applause.