The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1868-06-01
HUMOROUS.


Proud and plenteous progeny-the
million aires.
Suitable dress material for the sea
shore-surge.
A bad debt-the owing of grudge
Used Up-when it rains-an UNI
brella
What is often found whore it is not?
Fault.
A bad sign-to sign another mans
name to note.
Misery loves company-so does
manageable young lady.
What portions of the body are the
best travellers? The two wrists.
Attractive motto for the bootblack's
book" Bright be the place of thy
sole"
AMusical BurgIar-One who breaks
into tune.
A Happy Planter-A man burying
his mother-in law.
Fashion Paradox In high life
Prize fighting may not be penny
wisdom, but it Is certainly proud
folly
When woman bestows her hand
upon a man, can he be said to carry
away the palm?
The latest novelty in sewing ma
chimes is one that will folly the thread
of an argument.
Tom, who was come to grief at COL
lege, has been making clean breast
of his pecuniary difficulties:
Fond Mother" But, my dear, you
have made a very bad return for all
your fathers unremitting kindness''
Ton" That's just where it was.
If he had had the kindness to remit /!
little oftener I should have liked it
better"
A lady who had not been favored |
with the most harmonious voice, |
would, nevertheless, attempt to sing.
A gentleman, one of the company,
said to another: What does she call |
that?'' The Tempest, I think"
on which a sea-faring gentleman ex-
claimed: " Don't be alarmed-it is no |
tempest; it is merely squall, and
will soon be over"
"A lady, a few days ago, talking
about the ever varying female fash
ions, said: "Of course it is only |
women of means who can follow |
them. A friend of ours, who happen
ed to be present, observed, "Or,
rather, Miss, women of extremes"
They have been having an annexa-
ton excitement in the city of Zanes-
vile. Ohio, and the suburban village |
of Putnam. and the Courier says: |
Every single lady in Putnam goes for
annexatlon-to a man.
A Paris reporter, describing the
entrance of the Imperial party at a
Court bail, remarks: 1.-The neglect of
servants in our days really ought to
be punished. A door or window |
must have been left open, for cold |
wind gree ed the court group as they |
reached the first landing of the stair |
case. The Empress sneezedl
During the rebellion a regiment of |
Arkansas men was marching one day |
knee deep in mud, a part of them
dragging heavy cannon. An officer
riding by was hailed by one of them
with the remark: "Wa'al, Colonel, |
I'll go through with you this hitch, but |
If you ever have any more Unions to |
break up, you may just bet yer life |
amt tharP
A French journal tells story about |
a lady, or rather, she is made to tell |
it herself:
When I was first married l was
on my knees before my husband from
morning till night It was a perpetual |
alteration. an incessant delirium, an |
nexpressible bliss. [ showered |
earesses on him; Icould have eaten
him.
And now." asked friend
I" I'm sorry didn't."
There can be no objection to
broil in the house as long as it is con-
fined to the kitchen.
Anexchange suggests that druggists
are indictable for selling blisters,
under the law against infammatory |
placards. 80 a
There is a man in Boston so poor
that he cannot pay debt of graft
tude. 1t is proposed to get up a tes-
timopial~in his behalf.
Happiness is a perfume that one
cannot shed over another without a
few drops falling on ones self
Miss Peppers says it is always her
"consarned luck, you know" at any
place of amusement to be located d.
rectly behind two or three Of just the
tallest people in the whole audience.
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