Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1868-11-10
The Josh Billings Papers


AAO SVsi billings Tdp6Ts
BOOSTERS.
Thare is not on the whole horizo
or nv live uatur more pleading an'
strengthening study than the Roos
ter, This remarkable package o
feathers has been for ages food 70
phllosophik as we'll as the simpl,
curious kind. They belong to th,
feathered sekt dcnominated poultry
and are the husbands of menny
wives. La Utah it is konsidered !
disgrace TO speak disrespeclful Of i
rooster. Brigham Young's coat 0.
arms is rooster, in full blast crow
ing tillshe is almost bent over double
back ward.
The flesh ov the rooster is very
similar tew the flesh of the hen il
is bard tew distinguish the difference,
especially in your soup. BOOSTERS
are the puglists amoog the domes>
tic burds they wear the belt and
having no shoulder tew strike from,
they strike from the heel.
BOOSTERS, according to profane his
tory, if mi edukashuu remembers
me right, were formerly a man, who
come saddeniy upon one ov the
heather gods, at time when he
wan, prepared tew see company.
and wuz, for that offense. rebuilt
over into the fust rooster, and WIS
forever alterward destined tew crow,
as kind ov warning. This change
from man akounts for their fight
ing abilities, and for their politeness
tew the hens. There is nothing ia a
man that awOman admires more than
his reddyness and ability tew smash
another fellow, and it IL iiss so with
ben. When a rooster gifts licked
the hens all march oph With the 9th
er rooster, if he aint baff 80 big or
handsome.
II il pluck that wins hen or a
woman.
There IL CRATE variety ov pedi,
gree amung the rooster race, but for
stiddy bizness give me the old fasa
dominique rooster, legged, and
when they walk, they alwus strut,
and their buzzums stick out like an
Alderman's abdominal cupboard. =
This breed is hawk -colOred. and has
q crooked tail on them, arched like d
sickle, and az full ov feathers as
new duster.
But when You come right down to
grit, and throw ali outside infu~
ences overheard, there amt noting
on earth, nor under it. that can OUT
style. out step, ont>brag, or out
pluck a regular Bantum rooster.
They alwus put me in mind ov
very small dandy practicing before a
looking glass.
They don't weigh more than 30
ounces, but they make az much fuss
az tun. | have seen them trying
tew pick quarrel with a two hose
Wagon, and don't think they would
hesitate tew fight a meeting house If
it was the last sassy to them.
1t is more than fen tew hear one
ov these little chevaliers crow it IL
like a four-year old baby trying tew
sing line out ov the Star Spangled
Banner.
Tie hen partner this concern IL
the most eXquisit little boquet ov
neatness and feathers that the eye
ever roasted on. They are az prim
az premature yung lady. 1t IL a
luxury to watch their daintyness,
tew see them lay each feather with
their bills, in its place, and preside
over themselves with az much deli
cacy az belle before her mirror.
But the consuinmation IL tew see
the wife mother, leading out six
little chicks bugging six little
chicks no bigger than bum blebees
1t seems tew be necessary that
there should be sumthing outrageous
in evrything, tew show us WHARF
pr1priety ends, and improperly be>
gins. This IL melancholy, the case
in the rooster affair, for we hav the
shanghi rooster, the gratest outrage.
in mi opinyun, ever committed in
the annals of poultry.
Theze kritters are the camels
amung fowls, shey NOPE around the
barnyard; tipping over the hay racks,
aud stepping on the yung goslings,
and evry now and then they crow
confusion.
If emmy body should Civ me a
shanghi rooster i should halter him.
and keep him in box stall, and
feed him on cut feed, and ifhe would
work kind in harness, all right, if
not, would butcher him the fust wet
day that cum, and salt him down
tew give tew the poor.
But there amt nobody a going
tew Civ mo one of this breed, knot
if know it, don't think thare IL a
man en- earth mean enuff to do it.
BOOSTERS do but very little houses
hold work, they won't lay emmy
eggs, nor try tew hatch emmy, nor
see tew the young ones this salts,
tys me that thare is sum Truth IN the
ARCHAEOLOGICAL aclount on the roost
ter's fust origin.
Yu can't get a rooster to pay en-
ny attenshun tew yung one, they
spend their time in Growing, struts
Ting, and occasionally find a worm,
which they make a remarkable fuss
o7er, calling up their wifes from a
distance, apparently tew treat them
but just as the hens git thare, this
elegant and elaborate cuss bends
over aud gobbles up the morsel,
Just Ike a man TOR all the U0rtd.
] SInERnAL-On q clear eraninn