Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1868-12-30
.Go in. lemonsl, |, shouts the crowd.

Go in, lemons shouts the crowd.
Let 20 my hat! what in the sin are you
'bout-t-t? Let go, goll darn ye yeou II tear
my hat all tu flinders!
Call the peer.lessp cries one Of the
thieves.
Here's fcller raisin' fghtl yells the
carriage driver.
Murderer A fcllcr's got my watch |!
Look out for pick-pockets! shout the
loafers and thieves.
Let me aout Let 60 my pockets, goll
darn yc! What are yeou at? Git aout O.
that Murlcr!' cries the poor victim.
A hustle takes place, the crowd scatters,
somebody cries that pick pockets arc about
and the 'per-lees are coming!
Halo here, what's all this about? ex-
claims the rcd-faced policeman, coming up
to poor Down East, who has finally man
aged to extricatc his. head from his hat, the
excrtion putting him all in foam of pres
piration, as well as tumbling up his hair
like quills upon the fretful porcupine.
What's all this row emp
tRaow? Coll darn ye! Yeou one Of the
feller's been pitchin into me? Jest say so
and Ill be darncd if | dunt jest wallop ycou
aout Of ycour ccow skins, or my names not
Jedediah Jumper, ndo'o'
'What?' cries the policeman. "Are you
the feller's been raising all this muss2
He's the feller, Mister Pcrleesman,' says
one Of the coachman, coming up to the
scene again.
'Ycou'rc the darned skunk as bit me /
cries Jumper, throwing his hat and coat in
the most heroic fashion, and and evincing
orh3r symptoms of going in
Hes drunk Take him off = cries a
oafcr
He's been raising fight here all the af
tcrnoon!' says another, coming up with
more confcres.
He's picked my pocket, the thief! cries
one of the rascals.
And stole my watch !! chimes in another
villain
You eternal, double.a nd-twistel skunks,
yeou,' gaspcd poor Jumper, now writhing
in the hands of the ferocious policeman,
you pizenlnean, ,cowardly, low-lifed sarpints,
yeou'vc stole my watch, yeou'vc hooked my
puss, and
Come along ! roar the virtuously indig.
mont officer. Come along, you rascal! Want
to let on you've been robbed, ch?'
Him robbed ? Ha ha ha
You're pooty feller to be robbed Ha!
ha hal! shout the thieves.
Come with me, you scoundrel III show
YOU how to come here and kick up row
among decent, honest people, just to get
chance to pick pockets! Eh?'
Me pick pockets? Grea.a-a-t kingdom !
Come along cries the policeman.
'Give me my coat Sa,ay, look a'here.
Fetch back my coat Stop that iellcr with
my hat Sa-a,y, look here -
Come along with me !
And hatlcss and coatless, sans purse and
watch, poor Jedcdiah Jumper was rushed
off to the police station, valiso in hand which
he had been fortunate enough to retain, by
hook or crook, in spite of all the excrtions
of the thieves to seize it. The policeman
made formidable charge against J. Jumper,
he had been drunk, fighting, molesting hon
est people in the discharge Of their respect
full avocations, and picking pockets.
Look a'here, Squire, exclaimed the
outraged Jumper
Hold your tongue you rascal !!
want tu know if that feler's a-goin' tu
rip into me that way and | stand here swal.
lcrin' his goll darn,d lies and you listen to
emp
I.I-l'll give you thirty days on the Island,
roars the magistrate, you don't hold your
jaw. Now, III fine you five dollars and
costs, and give you two hours to leave the
city
'Yeoy DUP says Yankee.
Il do; and if you don't pay the fine, III
send you up for thirty days, you rascal !!
calculate, squire, yeou call this mighty
spry town?'
What's that?'
'Peert fellcrs at crowdin' strangers!
Will you hold your jaw?'
Great on grbbin' lellcr's watch!
DO you hear met?
'Stcalin' fellers puss!' continues the
imperturbable.
Mr.. Clark, the rascals fne seven dol
lars!'
Hold on, ho-o.o-ld on, Squire let us see
how much the damagci is naow, great gravy
What, sewing dollars fine for gittin' robbed,
coat gone, hat hooked, watch stole, puss
grabbed, a-a-a-nd evcrlastin' sin and misery
IF ycou jon't heot creotion md the sreckled