Nebraska advertiser., 1868-05-28


"Scholars, if need be, shall break
your backs, and shall break your heads,
but no rule of mine shall ever be broken
with impunity.'
Il endeavored to impress this forcible
remark upon my mind.
"As soon as a Scholar continued my
adviser, violates one of the rules of the
school, l should chasuse him most severe.
ly, as warning to others
Mr.. Straight's ideas of teaching
were not exactly my own, but it was
necessary for me to teach somewhere,
and this was the only situation thai off
cred itself; l therefore determined to
obey my instructions most implicitly, in
order to give satisfaction and to succeed.
There is one advantage, thought l, in
having a hard school-if | succeed. the
greater will be my triumph and my re-
putauon.
Mr.. Straight directed me to the
school house. l started, feeling rather
faint-hearted. and looking on both sides
of the way for a suitable stick. l en-
deavOred to arrange in my mind my
opening address, which was to consist of
a dramatic show Of the stick, an alluson
to the defunct Judge Taney, and the
startling announcement about the broken
backs and heads.
L at last found stick that l thought
would do, and went along, waving it in
most authoritative manner, and ex-
claiming: Scholars, if need be, l will
break your backs, and l will break your
heads, but no rule of mind shall ever be
broken with impunIty.'
"Hooray = shouted some one over the
wall That's the talk Smart gal that
Guess she'll make um toe the markp
i looked around, dreadfully frighten-
ed, and saw rusty old codger, with his
mouth wide open and bis hat in hand.
"Hooray! shouted he, swinging his
hat.
L stepped very quick for the next half
mile, casting furtive glances behind.
i at last lost sight of my enthusiastic
admirer, and come in sight of the school
house. Here mustered up all my
courage for nv debut. | marched into
the school house with the air of duchess,
and violently rung the. bell.
Scholars, SAID I, as soon as they
were assembled felt violently agitated
Scholars. you see that y
Here | held up the stick
Judge fancy says continued, feel
ing very shaky about the heart Judge
fancy says
Here followed long pause. l began
to shake all over from head TO foot.
Judge Taney says, 1, spasmodically
determined to say something; Judge
fancy says, that yor have no rights tha.
am bound to respect. Pll break your
backs and I'Il break your heads, but
Here l Irembled so all over that l
lost my idea, and was obliged to sit down.
So this was my opining speech.
The next thing was to adopt lies for
the school. l had an hundred and
twenty-four with me in my portfolio, all
good ones, which had been written down
while at the Normal School l conClud-
ed, however, that, before | adopted any
rules, would submint them to my sup
erior, Mr., Straight. So ! ordered the
scholars to fola their, arms, and pointed
Significantly at the stick. resolved to
be systematic, and, therefore, to assign
no lessons until the rules were adopted.
So looked as sour as / possible could un-
til noon, the scholars sitting before me
with folded arms, and looking quite as
cross as their teacher.
AT noon | went to Mr.. Straight and
told him, that, ID order to be systematic,
l had thought best to assign no lessons
before adopting rules for the government
of the school, aDd that, before adopting
rules. had deemed it prudent to submit
the matter 10 him. He gave me credit
for a prodigious amount of wisdom and
discretion. l submitted to him the one
hundred and twenty-four rules of which
I had made memoranda at the Normal
School; he approved of them all. and
added twenty more, making in all, one
hundred and forty-four needful rules
and regulations.
"Only enforce these, said Mr.. Straight
and, in one week, your school will re-
volve around you like satellites around
their luminary.'
In the afternoon l established my
grovernment, which was an absolute
monarchy. The rules and regulations
were very explicit. The scholars were
forbidden TO look behind them, or before
them, or on either side of them, or to
move their arms, or their legs, or their
lips. They were to come in military
order, and to go out In military order.
and to 90 into their classes at the sound
of bell, and to be dismissed, singing
'Chhdren 60,
To and fro,
:. In a merry pretty row,
Footsteps light,
Faces bright,
IT'S happy, happy sight'
which doggerel is fair specimen of the
poetry found in most Of our school music
books If l were to prepare a music
book for schools, would put in Watts's
hymns or Moore's Irish melOdies--al-
most anything bu! the senseless twaddle
now in vogue.
In about five minutes after L had an.
nounCed my regulations to the school,
Tim Founder turned round, thereby
violating rule No 144. l seized my
stick and made a dive for him. He at
tempted TO run out of the door, but | was
too smart for him be then logged me
and crawIed under the desks. run the
stick under after him, and thrashed 1t