The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1868-09-24
COULDNT KEEP AHOTEI.

COULDNT KEEP A HOTEL
"He's pretty.good fellow, but he
can't keep hotel,g7tis an old express
sion, but good one. Laying no
claims to being. q ".clever feller,," l
nevertheless thought l could "keep a
hotel" so 1 hired one for one day, and
tried my hand at it. ! am not keeping
any hotel any more, it isn't my forte
exactly. / think l can do better at
newsbhpero writing, or picking up
chips in a ship-yard, or securing
knivesands forks However humilia-
ting the confession may be, will tell
you of some of my experience during
the depand might'I undertook to run
a hotel.lIFG 1ttz5d -1C1.'F
Irose early in the morning, put ON
my Sundy-go-to-meeting clothes, a
span new billed shirt with frills, my
diamondpin which / bought of " the
original Jacobs" new scarf with all
the;coloys of the rainbow, and, boots
thai Tefected my face. In this garb 1
went behind the counter. Up stepped
a man to register -apd ] let, him put
his fiaffie down. l asked him if he
had any baggage, and he said 4 should
Il s,thirk, so, ,you milkssopH He pointed
hich, it took two porters
to carry up stairs. I ascertained af-
terward that he stayed two weeks
in the hotel on that trunk, and then
left. Tue trunk was -4soldNat auction,
and was found full of bricks and
.xAlisht woodT But obeyed the Bible
injunction; ;e9cHe was stranger and 1
took him in"
That amt all. He took me in.
The next that came to get a room
was a colored member of the Legis-
lahnea Al t6a'lfIh Fwe Kept a white
mans hotel and couldn't accommo-
date him. He got indignant, and
asked me 'ssif Invent back on the Con-
stitution, which guaranteed equal
!: rights to ALL, told him had never
read it. He opened his carpet-bag,
took out bound copy of the same ;
and told mees mees to &. refuse him rqomcif l
dared, and he went to United States
Commissioner right off.
Rather than shed the blood ofaa man
with whsn had fought bfed and
died for nay country, and have my IL
cense;Iv voked, a was obliged to give
the coIerea gentleman room, /" all OF
whick is respect etfully submitted.' The
result was a row, in which half of my
eafers refused longer to eat hash al
myYh6use no matter how fine had il
chdWed up.
Then came another who was dissat-
ished with hisroom. So I rung the
be Several times, when up came the
porter cook; watchman, baggage mas
ter, and two or three bell boys. ]
told them to remove John Smiths
baggage from IS to S3a s4ass 5li...as
They did tt 1t, .atj '4 lg, .gs :. S2 ai.. ss @
2. Mark the result as proceed.
! ,Byland-by came a man who regis
.teFed Samuel Jones and lady.laI put
s.ssssaSSah "siiln = in 104 and s.lady5l in so.
isEEening came, and 7 wrs congratula-
ting myself on being able to keep a
hotel. aAI of sudden there was a
jerk of the bell of the private parlor,
and sent-the "rcau boy" to find out
what was the matter Pretty soon he
came back looking very red in the
.facesand said as how there was two
'ladies-as wantedFt to see me in there .
1sFwent in the "P. p" and found
tWoy ywomen en- dishab6lle, as we Gre
oles say, and walking the floor and
crying like mad. As quick as I went
in they both went for me, and began
Your aIsInart man, amt you, to
go and put a strange man in my room.
What do you mean, sir Z"
1 began ato be- heightened, and l
stanmdred, a'ED-dfd / put man in
your room p. 4t 81 lr.-o ss,.,ea
eyes, you did, SIR
"What is the number Of your room,
madam ?"
EaTS7, you wretch. ,.,e r '7@.i So
1t was true. had been and gone
and done ii. z I had ordered John
Smith efrom 65 to 81, and he
had come and gone into this room
when it was occupied by young lady
; fa.iwAom he. had never been intro
duced; 9, heavens sxft tagt
Then up came the other one with
feff1 1pboocket-handkerchief wet through,
and Began On me- !, .,a9- ..--,s.a
--AYes, and here I am put in room
Atalone by myself, and exposed to all
thedangers'of large city, while my
husband is separated from me, and
pQtwL don't know where ,Boo-hoo-
hoo! O, you good-for-nothing heart
less ereaturesY e 90 e4i.7 =. 1a.., Z.
& Here gwas a. nice box for young
. MANY There stood one young woman
crying like thunder, because there
was man III her room and right be-
side her, another, crying because there
WASH What was fellow to do? !
rushed for the Office, and sung out
thToaghe. the speaking tube for the
%ehanb naabegrmaid to put in order No. ia,
fof the young miss who had the
Esfange man in her room. te5,
IL a ia I'll .
-, thought / was.all right now, sure;
bnt.pretty soon there was another jerk
:, AZ stheRRe 4. P.a.belI.' < T had sung out
through the wrong speaking tube. In
:; sf6ad Of calling the chambermaid OF
- nsf~sd ssoat hie ;yn.aftaa ei#tbsfnt6. s5an
81 % i5sfi5 4a3ssig 'li""i'fs ? fieaif+. ,h'
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