davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

Both WENT.-The Oshkosh Times
gives US the following "Black Crook"
story:
"My DEAR said the wife, "the Black
Crook is here shall We witness it to-
night p
'Well," said the husband, "Pd bet
ter go alone tonight and see if it is a
proper place for ladies'"
"Yes-well," said the wife, ~ rath-
guess I'd better go alone and see if it is
proper place for gentlemen"
Both went.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
Ga- From and after this date all sherifrs

csj~ From aud after this daie all Sheriff's
Ccnstables' aad other legal sales. advertised,
In the CHRONICLE. must be paid for on the
day o( sale. punciually. We bold none but
the officers responsible :or their payment.
lzE- Transient advei 'scmcns mos. be paid
IN advance. Job-wo:k paid on delivery, in
pGriGbiy.
~ All regular advertisers will be requi
red to settle on the first of every month. Our
city advertisers will be required TO pay up
every three months.
Ng~ Advertisements will becontinued until
ordered out and collection enforced. All ad
vertisements should have marked upon them
the number CT insertions required.
VA. There VIII be no deviation from the
above established terms and rules OF business
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

WHIMSICAL INSTANCES OF Mono
MANIA.-The Rev. Simon Brown died
with the conviction that his rational
soul was annihilated by a special fat
Iof the Divine will.
A patient in the retreat at York,
thought that he had no soul, heart OF
lungs.
A soldier who was wounded on the
field Of Apsterlitz was struck with de-
lirious conviction that he was an ii
made model Of his former self. "You
ask how Pierre Lambert is" he would
say, ''he is dead-killed at Austerlitz :;
that which you see now, is a mere ma
chine made in his likoness.''
NIr. Mead tells us Of a student at
Oxford, who ordered the passing bell to
be rang for him, and went himself to
the belfry to instruct the ringers. He
returned to his bed only to die.
A Bourbon prince thought himself
dead, and refused to eat-until his
friends invited him to dine with Tur-
emo and other French heroes long since
departed.
There was a tradesman who thought
he was a seven shilling piece, and ad-
vertised himself thus: "If my wife
presents me for payment, don't change
me"
Bishop YTarburton tells US Of a man
who thought himself goose pie.
Dir. Ferriday, of Manchester, had a
patient who thought he had swallowed
the devil. In Paris there lived man
who thought lie had with others, been
guillotined, and when Napoleon was
Emperor, their heads were all restored,
bat in the scramble he had got the
wrong one.
A newspaper editor fancied that he
was paragraph, and as he lay in bed
debated whether he should rise alto
gether, or sentence by sentence.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

A YOUNG actor was once instructed
to deliver the following message to Lord
Randolph, in douglas" s"-"My lord,
the barquet waits" but having lost the
run of the sentence, he called out, amid
the roar of the audience, "Mr. Ran
dolph. your supper has been ready for
some time"
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

PoETIC--A love-lorn writer says
81 pressed her gentle form to me, and
whispered in her ear, if, when was
far away, she'd drop for me tear? |
paused for some cheering words, my
throbbing heart to cool, and with her
rosy lips she said, 'Oh, Ike, you're sich
A fool
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

WOULD Own IA sailor, passing
through a graveyard, saw on one of the
tombstones, II still live" 1t was too
much for Jack, who, shifting his quid,
ejueulated, "Well, I've heard say that
there are cases in which man may lie;
but if | was dead I'd own it,"
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

A CHAP went to pork house to buy
pork on credit. First he bargained for
a lot Of hogs ears; next, the clerk
seeming willing to trust, he bought a
hogs head +; then, growing bold, be
said, 4 believe I'll take that ham, No
you won't replied the clerk you are
head and ears in debt now
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
TEE ERRING.

Think kindly Of the erring!
Ye know not Of the power
With which the dark temptation came
In some unguarded hour.
Ye may not know how earnestly
They struggled or how well,
Until the hour of weakness came,
And sadly thus they fell.
Think kindly of the erring!
Oh do not thou forget,
However darkly stained BY sin,
He is thy brother yet,
Heir of the self-same heritage,
Child of the self-same God;
He hath but stumbled in the path
Thou hast in weakness trod.
Speak gently of the erring!
For it is not enough
That innocence and peace are gone,
Without thy censure roughs
1t sure must be weary lot
The sin-crushed heart to bear,
And they who have happier lot
Their chidings well may spare.
Speak kindly to the erring!
And thou mayst lead them back,
With holy words and tones of love
From misery's thorny track.
Forget not thou hast often sInned,
And sinful yet may be
Deal gently with the erring one,
AS God has dealt with thee
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

TIE man who has raised cabbage
head has done more than all the meta
physicians in the world Then,' replied
a wag, your mother ought to have
premium
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

A BOY at school, when called to re-
cite bis lessons in history, was asked
What is the German DietY and re-
piled, 'Sourkrout, schnapps and sau-
sages.'
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

81 SAY, John where did you get that
rogue's hat ?' "Please, yer HONOR
said John, 'it's an ould one O yours
that the Missis gave me yesterday"
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
JOE McCoRKLE.-Mark Twain write,

JOE MCCoRKLE.-Mark Twain writes
as follows to the Virginia Enterprise:
They report that this homely old
friend Of mine-this ancient denizen of
California and Nevada-the wrinkled.
aged, kuock-kneed, ring-boned and
spawned old war-horse of the Plains is
to be married shortly to handsome
young Ohio widow worth three hundred
thousand dollars. Well-what is the
world coming to, anyhow !? If-any man
had told me week ago that any wo-
man in her right mind and under 70
would be willing to marry that old fossil
II that cid tunnel-that old dilapidated
quartz MILL would never, never have
believed it. He is splendid man you
know, but then he must be as much as
22 or 50 years old He is one of my
nearest personal friends, but what of
that? | would remain a bachelor GEN.
tury before / would marry such rusty,
used up old arastra as he is. l have
always considered that | ought to fairly
expect to marry about seventeen thou
sand dollars, but ! think differently now.
If McCorklo ranges at three hundred
thousand in the market, [ will raise my
margin TO about million and half.
A gentleman who had carefully train
ed up his servant in the way he should
go, so that when his wife was present
he might not depart from it, sent him
with box ticket for a theatre to a
young lady, The servant returned
when the gentleman and his wife were
at dinner. He had, Of course, been
told in giving answers to certain kinds
OF questions, to substitute the masculine
for the femenine pronoun in speaking
Of the lady.
'Dii you see him @ said the gentle
man, giving him the cue.
yes, sir replied the servant. He
said led 90 with q great deal of pleas
ure; and that he'd wait for you, sir
what was be doing?' asked the wife,
care'essly.
'He was putting on his bonnet,' was
the reply.
There was fat in the fire. imme-
diately.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

Who bows profoundly to one, turns
his back on another.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
TEE WALL OF TIE A1AeDALEN.
BY FELICIA H. ROSS.

Here let me crouch, there are none On the
street;
Here. like blot, by the warehouse wall;
All silent walls, will ye scof, OF repeet
What 1 moan and whimper under nv
shawl?
The moon is SO cold, and so far away,
Through the SCOT of the chimneys it will
not shine
As it shone on the house that fronted the bav.
On the rocb y shore, and the waters line,
Where the white breasted sea-gulls rose to
the sky
When the prows of the boats drew nigh.
The sea- -breezes stole to my chamber at night,
The sea-song was soft as my mothers
Ny Mother-oh God am vile in thy sight,
And she worships, unchid, at the foot Of
the Throne.
If she knows that the babe she rocked on
her knees
Is sinner, SO foul, that she would not
dare
To lift her eyes as high as the trees,
If the gleam Of her spotless wings was
there.
should think that her fingers would drop
the Tyre
In the midst OF the angel choir.
Or, rayhap does the music of heaven go on,
Through the wall and the woe, of our sin
strike thro:
Do they care: Could the face Of saint look
wan,
As the face of my father when first he
knew
I met him full in the lainplight's glare,
flung hlln laugh for his cry Of pain;
saw that the sorrow had blanohed his hair
As white as the thorn-b buds, that dropt in
our lane
Was I mad that I laughed when his old
voice shook,
As he cursed me-out of the Book?
He cursed me oh pitiiul Christ Il am
old
But the weight Of that curse I viii bear to
the dead
VIII cease to remember it under the mould,
When the weeds and he thistles are over
my head?
Is it I who am curste Who'll believe if l
say,
That my crime is not mine but the temp
ter's who came
And lured me away from my home by the
bay,
And left me to live, or to die, in my
shame?
Do they care if their wheels, Or their horses
feet
Throw dust OF a hag in the street:
Let them pass in their gildings God sees
not as man;
He looks through the rind to the heart of
the fruit.
The world may not taint them with curse, or
with ban,
But he knows if tie worm wakes full at
their root.
was bitter and wicked a year ago;
Do you know that you saved me, 0 blith-
some girl,
AS you sang in your garden hymn so low !;
Saved from the rivers beckoning whirl,
BY a smile and pity that haunts me yet,
And q handful Of mignoneite
The scent of the flowers went down to my
heart
l Thrilled at the touch Of your small, white
hand;
For thought of the house, with its curtains
apart,
Where face through the roses looked
down at the strand.
All, well, though the roof and the windows
are gone,
Though the face of that girl has grown
haggard and old;
# they carry me, dead, from the door some
dawn,
/ There is no one to say, "She was over
bold i''-
Through His mercy, at rest, on the shore,
III lie,
While the winds and the waves go by!
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

PROOF OF HoNEsTY.-Paying the
printer-it.is is conclusive.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

PRAIRIE chickens are so plenty in
Missouri that they are used for swine
food.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

Isn't your bill awfully steep?' in
qnired spendthriit of his tailor. you
ought to know best for 1t was run up
by you,' was the cool reply.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

TWENTY-FIVE railroads are in course
of construction within so miles of New
York.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

To lover there are bat two places
in all the world-one where his sweet
heart is and the other where she isn't.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
JOB FRINTIN q.

all kinds of JOB WORK executed with
neatuess and dispatch, ana on moderatetgrIn
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

ETIQUETTE requires in Chinese con-
versation that each should compliment
the other, and everybody belonging to
him, in the most laudatory style, and
depreciate himself with all pertaining to
him, to the lowest possible point. The
following is no ozaggeration, though
not the precise words:
What is your honorable name p
'My Insignificant appellation is All
Chang?
'Where is your magnificent palace p
Ny contemplate hut is at Luchan:'
How many are your illustrious chill.
dren p
'My vile, worthless brats are five.'
How is the health of your distin-
guished spouse ?
'0Iy mean, good-for-nothiug old wo-
man is WE'LL
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
Life in the Mines bsintlle end Appetite
A week or two since an old miner.

A week or two since an old miner,
who had made and lost half dozen for
tunes in California, landed in this city.
Tired Of the Golden State, he thought
he would try his hand in Silverland.
He landed in this city with but S25.
He thought be would take look
about town. He took look, and
shortly found large and healthy lock-
ing tiger. Fighting the tiger was his
weakness, and he never could see the
animal without tackling him. Said ne:
I'll double my pile, Or bust p He
busted. For SO hours he did not taste
food. lie could find no aoqnaintances,
and was too proud to beg of strangers.
f0h,' said he, 'if I could strike some
fellow from Ma county He was
awful hungry. At length, in saloon,
he found man he knew, and in the
fullness Of his heart cried out: why,
Jim, you internal CID fool, is that you 2
Jim responded: BLESS my eyes, Tom,
you saiyated old skunk. Is that you ?
Tableau jim, with bis breast to the
oar, recovering-'Tom, take drink p
Of course Tom acceeded. WHISKY
whisky, Of course-was called for
w hats that you are putting in your
whisky? cried Tom. 'Absinthe,' an
swered jim 'Absintho what's that p
why, absinthe, to give NE an appetite j;
try some in yours you will find that it
will give you great appetite None
in mine, barkeeper, if you please cried
the hungry man none in mine, if
that's what it's for why said jim,
better take little you have not been
to breakfast yet Moo. I have not
been to breakfast yet well, Pm just
going to breakfast; will you come and
take a nice breakfast with me p said
Jim. What did you call that stuff in
that bottle, barkeeper? 'Absinthe.
Absinthe; yes, absinthe; well, bar
keeper, just squirt darned lot O that
into my glass. Yes, Jim, I'll go with
YOU to break fast V5rqiniQ EHteTDrise.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

APRoPos of the Fejeean business, an
anecdote is exbumed of Commodore
i}iddle at Jeddo Bay, in 1916. One
day he attempted to visit Japanese
junk: but as he clambered over her
bulwarks, a sentry pushed him back
into his gig. The Commodore returned
in rage to his slip, and sent peremp-
tory demand for an apology and indem-
nifty for the insult. Within quarter
Of an hour an answer came back that
the sentry had acted without orders, and
that his head had been promptly cut
off, and was now at the service of the
Commodore
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

"'L,hat is Norah's story, sir; and a
sad enough enc it is" ''But, Dick ?'
| asked. "N bat became Of him ?'
"IIe came back after his time was
over; but he only stayed long enough
to hear the story, and then went away
none Of US knew where and wherever
it is, poor boy, it's sore heart be car
ries with him.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
THE WEEKLY CHRONICLE
CHRONICLE PUBLISHING ASSOCIATION.
TERM S.
y (rN-y,pT4pTx xT( AnV.NrEO

~ - - '-'~'~''
lice Oil Mains treet, nearly Opposite Court HOUSE.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11
ADvERTISING-

irscr;jon z 90
Each snbgeouent insertion. n........ l 90
Business Card. of lines. monthly. 0G
A liberal allowance to Yearly Advertisers.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

"Nezt day there was CONSERVATION
aud horror on every face. Denis Coyle
was dead, murdered, they said ; at any
rats. he was found dead in his bed with
Strange fnger-marks upon his throat
and poor Norah crouching, a raving
lunatic, in corner Of the room.
Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1868-04-11

'For the sake av the little one, dar-
lint for the love av heaven and the
dying mother, sure ye'll never take
the weight av our lives upon ye.' I"
Such were the appeals sbrieked or
moaned in through the chinks of the
door, through the window against which
pressed pale, passionate faces, until,
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12
~ To those who have been i

E To those who have been in the
habit of asserting that the Democratic
party is dead we commend the follow
ing from letter written by a famous
Radical politician in Ohio, named Piatt.
He, at least, has faith in the long life and
earnest vigor of the great constitutional
party of the country;
The Democratic party does not
breathe through the nostrils Of any one
man, or set Of men, There is no other
political body that exists SO well, without
leaders, as this. The late war, for exam
pie, swept their so-called leaders nearly
away. 1t changed the current of its or
gans, even, and we all said the Democrat
ic party was dead. We awaken to the
fact, before the war was ended, that it
lived, and could, as of old, make itself
felt, unplcasantly, at the polls. At the
great day, when the Almighty calls the
people to judgement, the Democratic
party will come up shouting for white
mans government and avowing its sol
emn determination to vote the ticket, the
whole ticket, and nothing but the ticket /"
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

GEoRGIA.-The Democracy of Georgis
hold State Convention on the 22d oil
July, to nominate an electoral ticket
The Macon (Ga.) Telegraph, in noticing
it, adds: -
ave can carry the State by twenty
thousand majority for the New Yorl
nominees no matter who, if an active ant
earnest canvass is inaugurated in time
There has got to be thorough organiza
ton, though, to start with, and afterwart
a stirring, enthusiastic rally from one enc
Of the State to the other"
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

unanimous \ dispatch received tonight
by ex Gov, Curry places the majority at
1000. -.. 'E....-
... WAsmyGroS, June 4.
George { Gorham, who was las, year
defeated for Governor OF California, was
to-day elected Secretary Of the Senate. In
place Of Foncy, resigned, without a bal
lot, the only dissenting voice being Nc.
CreeryS.
The Senate bill TO amend the act for the
relief of the inhabitants of the cities and
towns on the public lands, and the Senate
amendment to the Arkansas bill, were
non-occurred in.
b Bills were passed to enable the Secre,
tary of War to carry on, the award Of the
department to the heirs of George Fisher,
for military spoliation by the United
States troops during the war with the
Creek Indians, provided the same does
not exceed $1,000
"RoFsRfCH F6R ATTORNEY GENERAL.
Mr.. Stanbcry, who leaves tomorrow
for home, called upon the President to-
day, and urged the nomination of Mr..
GrocSbcck as Attorney General The
President hcsitated in consequence of
Mr. Groesbcck having been one of his
counsel, being apprehenSivc that his po-
litical enemies would say he was tender
ing Nr. Grocsbeck situation in consid
Grafton of his professional services in the
impeachment trial Mr. Stanbcry, how
ever, still urged the nomination as cmi
ncntly proper TO he made and advised
that such considerations should not pre-
vent the President from availinp himself
Of Mr.. Groesbecks abilities as a LAWYER
and statesman Mr. Johnson finally con.
sented to consider the matter, and the
probabilities are that the nomination will
be made
General Thomas returned from Fort
Washington to-day, and will resume the
duties of Adjutant-general of the army.
Tomorrow an investigation will be
made at once into the matters connected
with Stanton's mutilation and DESTROYING
certain records fhis office. 1t is charged
he burned many reports of spies and other
secret agents.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12
Cheap Trip.

From the following it will be seen, that ar
rangcments have been made whereby all who
desire can for the next five weeks, 60 to New
York and back for a very reasonable price A;
s5425 from Little, Rock and return just half
price,
Round TRrP TIcKETs.-Thc Memphis and
Louisville road, having connections with all
the leading northern routes TO the eastern cit
les, are issuing round trip tickets to all dele
gates or visitors who may wish to attend the
National Democratic Convention at New
York. July 4th. The fare to New Cork from
this point Is $54.25;: and this being paid, re-
turn tickets are furnished free, good until the
10th Of July. o. 3d.
There is no plcasanter or rspecdier route east
than by thisroad. II. Clay RoBards, at the
general deketOfiice, Anthony House, can sup
py tickets or persons, in the eastern part of
the State can obtain them from our clever
friend Capt. Asa Hill,, at the NJ. 4 l.. r. r.
Depot or 2371a Main street, Memphis.-Ltttle
Rock .G0sette. .lc'iu,3 .,a..
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

E- A scandalous Copperhead story
represents Grant as locked in his room
several hours each day preparing his let
ter Of acceptance, with copy Of Web,
ster's Unabridged Dictionary, "Frosts
Original Letter Writer and Barry's
"New Method and asking Washburne
through the keyhole whether Chicago
was Chica'cgo or Chiconghgo, as Web
ster had not put that word in his diction.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12
rg The verdict of the Jury in the ca

NJ THe EtTU1cI OF tHt july III C1t CHsC
of John Howe d Son, of St. Louis, vs.. S.
W. Murphy et al. of this city, was set
aside by the presiding judge as it was not
in accordance with the evidence The
Judge gave the plaintiffs the option ofen-
tering a remittitur Of $4,000 or taking
their case again before jury; they ac-
ceded to the remittitur We believe the
case now goes into court of equity,
where every transaction will be examined
and justice-a rather hard affair to get in
Il court Of law, especially in an action of
trover-will be done to all.-NeW Era.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12
TT IL You want an extra fine GREEN
TEA, callat Mr.. HARvEY's and get supplied.

tF North, South. East and West. all have
sought for sure cure for Chills and Fever.
We claim to have found this desideratum, and
In our own sunny Southern cline to have
found the panacea for diseases of the Bilious
Intermittent type. Try the Texas Tonic
Syrup and be convinced. Mansfield & IIig-
bee, Sole Proprietors.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

tB' The american, arrived Sunday looking
as nice as new pin. Capt Bill NowLASD
Is In command. She returned here Sunday
afternoon and went to Ozark and for freight
Of the Carolina and got back here early Mon
day morning. She goes to webbers Falls to
try and tighten aud raise the Fort Smiih, sunk
NJ that point. ~
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

~ Gen. W. J.. CABELL, Special Agent for
the Carolina Life Insurance Company, passed
through this city on Saturday lastfrom Wash
ingto and Benton Counties. The General re-
ceiyed. We learn. large number Of arplica-
tions and was highly delighted with the peo-
ple and country.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

- We are indebted, to our young friend
DICK PEARSON, of the City News Room, Fort
Smith for package ofpapers and magazines.
He has opened for himself in the News Room
business at the Store Of A. WAssoS, where he
will be pleased to see his friends.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

CT We invite the attention Of the citizens
of Van Burcn and Western Arkansas general
ly to the card, in our paper Of DR.. A. o. Rus
SELL, Oculist and Surgeon. The Doctor has
recommendations Of the highest character, for
successful treatment Of complaints described
in his card. He has located for the summer at
Evansville where he may be consulted. 1t
costs nothing for an examination. ,
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

tB Maj JAS. II. Sparks, General Agent of
the Globe Life Insurance Company Of New
York, is visiting or towr on business con-
nected with the Office. SAN MARTN, is their
Agent for this county .,nd Dr. II. PERNor
Medical Examiner. .rlr.p ~
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

tB-. The steamer Fort Smith, Captain john
WILLIAMS. sunk at Webbers Falls on Satur-
day last. She has large freight-mostly
government She is reported bow out of wa
ter and her stern two feet under. The Ameri-
can has gone to her relief. Offices at Fort
Smith have $4,000 insurance on her freight
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

ss- See the adycrtiscmentof JOHN INGRAM,
Fayetteville. He is General Agent for sever
al No. | Insurance Companies. Everybody
knows JcuN, ., .r.....H ... .....
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

sB- The Peerless, Capt. WM. REAsoSER. ar.
rived at our landing early Tuesday morning
from New Orleans. She is a popular boat in
this trade and makee regular trips,
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

~ Gov. Holden, Of North Carolina, offer,
his private secrctaryship to Robert, eldest son
Of stephen A, Douglas.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

left that port for this place on Friday last and
VIII probably be here SUNDAY or Monday.
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

tF Corn still continues to be shipped from
this point. Messrs. DAWSON 4 MCGEE, have
probably shipped 1000 bushel. quite recent
The Van Buren press., 1868-06-12

H-" Young drunk" representing the Gar
rison at Fort Smith, circulated freely in our
city OH Thursday last.