The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1868-04-15

was dreadful stage OF sin, and Bob h0i-
Tered and said that he guessed ! was on
It = and then she whipped Us and sent us
to bed without any supper, for they hadn't
nothin' but bread and butter and tea, and
Rob and / got up and he lifted me in at.
the pantry window, and we got mince pie
and whole hatful Of dough-nuts. and they
thought it was the cook that stole 'em, and
sent her away the next day, and Bob said
he was glad Of it, for she didn't make good
pies, and the doughnuts wasne fried
enough, and sometimes I'd swear, for /
said by golly the other day, and sister
heard me, and she told mother, and mother
said 7 was bad boy and would bring her
gray hairs to the grave, and she whipped
me, but don't think it did her gray hairs
any good, and it hurt me, and when / got
up stairs / said goff darn it; but Isaid it
so she didn't hear me, and when she asked
me if I did not think I was very wicked, I
said / was afraid was, and was sorry for
it, and wouldn't do SO any more, and then
she said / was q good little boy, and told
me about George Washington, who cut
down the apple tree, and was caught at it,
and said he did it with his little Ratchet.
just as though hadn't heard all about it
before, and didn't always think he was a
big stupid for cutting wood when they had
q hired man about the house, and dublin
his little Ratchet, and besides it would
have been q great deal jollier to let the APP
pie trees be so as he could have stole APP
pies off in the fall. I don't care if be was
the father ofhis country, he wasn't smart,
andlI bet you the boys in our school would
cheat him out ofhis eye-teeth swapping
jack-knives, and I could lick him and hard
" try, and ] don't think he was very
healthy either, for I never see q good boy
that wasn't always sick and had the mumps
and measles, and. the scarlet fever, and
wasn't coughing all the while, and hadn't
TO take castor oil, and could not eat cher
RES, and didn't have to have his head pat
ted till his hair was rubbed OFF by every
body that came to his mothers, and be ask.
ed how old he was, and who died to save
sinners, and what he'd been studying at
school, and how far he'd got, and lots d
other conundrnms, and have to say his cat
ecflisnl no, / shouldn't like to he good
little boy, | just as lief be an angel arc be
done with it, I don't think I ever shall be
a good little boy, and other people don't
think so too, for wasn't never called 8
good little boy but once, and that was when
my Uncle John asked me where / stood il
my class, and told him it was next to the
head, and he said that was right and he
gave mea quarter, and when he asked me
how many boys were in the class, and ]
said there were only two, myself and lit
/ tie girl, and then he wanted me to give
him back his quarter and / wouldn't ani
he ran after me and stumbled over chair
and he broke his cane, and hurt himself
and he's been lame ever since, and I'm
glad Of It, for he isn't my father, and hasn'
any right to lick me, for get enough O
that at home and the quarter wasn't . gooi
one either. / don't like Uncle John ant
guess he knows il, for he says I'm no
like any Of the family, and he expects II
go TO sea and be pirate instead Of y re
spectacle member of society, aad / shoul(
not wonder, for I'd rather be q pirate thar
| . soap boiler like him. I don't care if hi
lis rich, it's nasty business and I shan
have to be o pirate either, for one can max
lots Of money without that; and they ar
always talking to me about bein rich AM
respectable, and going to Congress and be
ling President, and all that sort Of thing
but don't want to be President; there
Lincoln, he was President, and Iguess be-
sorry for it now; and there's Andy John
son, guess he don't like it much either
and fellow doesn't have to be respectabl
to be q Congressman, for there's John Mo-
lrissy, and he has got nice curly hair an
nice clothes, and he don't do any work q
Their. Oh, I know how things are dont
but there's Bob calling, ard we're goiI
birds-nestin', for know where there's
yaller birds nest chuck full Of eggs. Nc
ther says it's cruel and the birds don
like it; that / wouldn't like to have m
eggs stole if I was q bird; and I don
think Ishould. But ! amt a bird, 20
know, and that makes difference, and
you waht to print this you can, for next
bein' a stage driver and q pirate, I'd lik
to be o editor, for you fellers don't have t
tell the truth, and you can go to circusse
without payin'.