Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1868-07-01
DENTAL AND ACCIDENTAL.
How Boggs Accidentally Got Drunk to
Have Tooth Pulled.
BY /" Girls"

BY "GRIs."
Boggs is a quiet citizen. Boggs don't
drink except " on occasion" The occa-
sion arrived the other day when he had
the tootbache. Now it requires a brave
man to walk serenely and deliberately up
to dentists door and pull bis bell with
out fatering, when you know you have
got to have a tooth out. Napoleon him
self couldn't do it. His courage once fail
ed him looking a pair of forcrps square in
the face. Boggs isn't Napoleon quite,
but he has the Napoleonic dread Of The den
lists chair But it was absolutely neces-
sary that Boggs should be made tooth
short. lie was afraid TO take chlcroform
afraid the dentist might take liberties
with him. Then, as 10 laughing gas, If
might tickle him TO death, for what he
knew. So he resolved to prepare himself
for the disagreeable operation OF getting
| little set up
He didn't propose to get drunk-oh no
but he would crush a brandy-punch or
two, Just to give him courage. lie re-
membered how valorous he once became
under the inspiration of a similar bever-
age, when he offered to whip several men
who were out of town at the time, and he
judged that like courageous spirit could
be worked up for this occasion.
But Brggs didn't stop with punch or
two. lie conti0ued histing them in, so
that by the time his courage had reached
a sufficient altitude, Boggs was drunk
The shades of night Lad fallen when he
made devious tracks toward Eight street,
for the purpose of finding a dentist.
Boggs was as bold as lion, except in
walk, which was unc rtain as the career
of genius. He felt that he could face all
the dentists in the universe. lie studied
all the numbers On the houses as well as
he could, for the figures had funny way
of changing hats with each other, shaking
hands, dancing jigs, etc, and at length he
found the right house, as he snpposed.-
Was there a soul dismayed 2" II there
was it wasn't Boegs.' lie mounted the
steps with cheerful alacrity and pulled the
bell with power equal to four brandy
punches to the square inch.
The door opened and a man appeared
"Dentist in ? > inquired Boggs eager
for the fray, and ready to make precip-
itate rash for the operators chair.
:" No sir was the rather gruf reply.
" No dentist living here, aad the door
closed sharply in Boggs' face.
"ZaIl [ hc right said Boggs, "'stak,
en- in house" Then he began a more
searching investigation of the Illuminated
figures dancing over the doors.
" Got 'em this time" said B"ggs i'm
agining that he had chased down the right
figures at length. lie rings the doorbell-
same man appeared again.
Door Hun'r side hic here"
No, sir !" said the man, sharply " told
you so before, and again the door bang
ed
"Sing'lar," muttcred Boggs, as he NOV.
ed away. Either | wen to s-same
house, or bic tha' man lives in all er
hOus in er block " Half an hours most
careful search Oh the part of Boggs aud
he is convinced that he has already found
the right house. In response to his rather
startling ring, the door opens -
"Doe'r Hun'r in? Wau'er get er to
[ hic Doth out"
" See here, you scouudrcl," said voice
that had grown singuIarIy familiar to Boggs
by this time, Z" | have told you three times
that Doctor Hunter don't live here. Now
if you ring my doorbell again, I'll call a
policeman and have him take you out to
the station house"
Couldn't you have pleC bic leseman
take Doth out to station house The ex-
asperatcd door opener offered to kick
Boggs off the steps, but Boggs is tender
hearted mamie wouldn't stay TO see him
do 1t. "Tha' tha' hic man must be
hired to ans'er doorbells for hole street. -
Won'er if lie aus'ers Door Hun'rs bell ?
BY Jove he hic hain't for me yet
Ha ha ! hic ha! I've pulled doorbells
'nough t'night to pull out every tooth lu
my hic head. Guess I'll 60 home"
Boggs woke up next morning with
headache and very mad to find that his
tooth, like our flag was " still there" He
had his spree out, but not his tooth. To
punish himself he walked straight off to
the dentists aud had his tooth pulled on
an empty stomach. He has resolved that
he will never again prepare tooth foI
pulling by filing it with whisky.