Des Arc weekly citizen., 1868-12-15
T6e Csekronch.
nr ,osn plII,xes.

| Inc cOckTOuCI iL Q uuS "s '"' 6S' l He iz one ov the luxuries ov civili- zation. l He iz easy to domestikate, yielding gracefully to ordinary kindness, and never deserting those who show him proper acts of courtesy.
 We are led to beleave, upon closs examination ov the outer crust ov these fashionable marriage between the bru- nette pissmire and the "artikilus bevo," or common American gIass-hopper.
 He don't leave the place he wuz born at upon the slightest provocation, like the vagrant flea, or the ferocious bed bug, and until death Cor some vile pow der, the invenshun ov maD knocks at his front door, he and hiz brother and sister may be seen with the naked eye, ever and anon calmly climbing the white sugar-bowl or running foot races between the butterplates.
 The cockroach iz born on the fust ov May and the fust ov November, semi annually, and iz reddy for use in fifteen days from date.
 They are born from an egg. four from each egg. and consequently they are all ov them twins. There is no such thing in the annals ov natur as single cock roach.
 The maternal bug don't sett upon the egg as the goose or hen doth. but leaves them lie around loose, like a pint ov spil. mustard seed, and don't seem tew care q darn whether they git ripe or not
 fail tew put in an appearance. They are as sure tew hatch out and run as Kanada thistles, or Q bad kold. l The cockroach iz 0v two colors, sor- rel and black. They are always on the move. and kan trot. l should say, on a good track, and good day, cluss tew three minutes.
 Their food seems tew consist. not so much in what they eat as what they travel. and often finding them dead in i'll my soup at my boarding house. roaches can't swim, but they can float.
 Naturalists hay also declaired that the cockroach has no double teeth. This iz an important fackt, and ought tew be introduced into all the primary school books of Amerika.
 But the most interesting feature ov this remarkable bugg is the loveiyness ov their natures. They kant bite nor sting, nor skratch, nor even flaw back. They are SO amiable that l hay even known them few stuck in the butter, and lay there all day, and not hollow for help, and aktually die at last with broken heart.
 To realize the meakncss ov these un- complaining little fellers, let the phil osophick mind just for one moment compare them to the pcsky flea. who light upon man in hiz strength and " oman in her weakness like red hot shot; or tew the warbliny inusketoe. wild from a Nujersey cat-tail marsh. with hiz dagger in his mouth akeins for blood; or-horrow ov horrow!- to the midnight bed-bug, who creeps out ov crack az still and az lean az 4 shadow, and hitches on tew the bosom of buty like starved leech.
 Evry man has 6 right tew pick hiz playmates, but az for me, had rather visit knee-keep among cockroaches than tew hear the dying embers ov a single muskeeter's song in the room | jineing, or tew know that there wuz just one bed-bugg lelt in the world, and he wuz waiting for mi kandle tew go out and me tew pitch into bed.
 In conclusion, tew show that aint fooling, I would be willing if had them, to swap ten fust-class feas any time for small sized cockroach and if the feller complained that had shaved him in the trade, would return the cockroach and swear we waz even.