Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1868-05-29
= II - ~
Wise and Othcrwfse~

A lawyer.is always strongest when
he is fee-blest.
Our brightest thoughts are often
the product of our darkest hours.
I Laugh al no man for his pug nose
--yoti cant tell what may turn up.
Suffer little sums to come unto us,
and forbid them not, for such Is our
income'
The more we help others to bear
their burdens, the lighter ouroWn
will be.st -
Don't swear boy-you'n never
catch any fish" "I'lLswear il don't
you'bet."
Raautv To women is like the flowers
in sprfng !: but virtue Is like the stars
in heaven. l8
Beecher's advice to young man is
summarized--get married and run In
debt for farm. So
He who would hear all truths,
must be prepared to listen OCCASION
ally to some error.
To be hung around a girls neck
till YOU are dead, dead, Is capital
punishment. So say the Jours.
A sscreat brute of husband adj
vertised In the morning papers for
strong, able-bodied man to hold his
wife's tongue.
Nothing keeps man form being
rich like thinking he has enough,
nothing from knowledge aud wisdom
like thinking he has both. -
Polite smoker at the side of a rail-
way car: "Allow me to assist you to
alight.n Pleasant old lady: THANK
you, r dom tsnaoke, H chesps.h
Little Daisy's mother was trying to
explain to her the meaning Of q
smile. %, yes, / know said the
child. 1t is the whisper of laugh,
"A, A close observer says Parton tor looks look,
Fanny Fern, looks like jolly apple
woman, with a huge stock of fall
pippings.
Have you found a verdict p said
Judge to the foreman of jury. No
your honor, we have huntedin7everyI
corr1erEof the room and there isn't
one there
Mary, il your master at home?
mo, sir; he's out don't believe
it Well, then, he'll come down and
tell you SO himself. Perhaps you
will believe him.
A newly married man in Will
sminytoA. last week, q presented his
wife with a washboard, mop, a
gridiron, and a pair of fat irons.
She has commenced an action for
divorce. a
A Western paper proposes that
hereafter, instead of saying Let us
sing the Doxology," the minister
shall cay: Let US put on overcoats,
adjust furs, 4 slip on gloves, seize our
hats and be dismissed A., n
A recruit, going through the exer-
else of sword-cuts asked how. he
should parry. Never mind that"
said the old h,issar who was fencing
master of the regiment; tyou only
eut-let the enemy parry"
JOSH BILLINGS says: "The best
cure l know Of for tight bsotsis lit
Prayer books. it is reported, are
now got up with looking-glasses on
the Inside of the covers. !
A western paper says: Our MEM
Der in Congress has made a great
speech--one of his very best. It was
written for him by a graduate OF, this
Office, and the matter and delivery do
credit to both parties
A bright little fellow of four or five
summers, got very indignant because
some one intimated that he would be
President some day. He met the
SANDER by saying: mo, / won't be
PresidentnI I'm going to be an honest
man.. rt,vas
An old picture, represents king
sitting I'm state, with label, s'I gov
sern alr'--a bishop with a legend III
pray .fotall Pa soldier with motto,
II fight for alp'-and a farmer draw Il
ing forth reluctantly q purse, with
the inscription, II pay for ALL"
There Is hore truth tfan poetry in
the idea.
"A young lady wbb had become
tired Of single biessedness, wrote to I
her true lover as follows: ,
Deer Gim--Cun rite off, eff you
air curnmin at awl. George Collins +,
is insisting shell hev him., and he .
hugs and kisses me SO k0ntinnerly ,,
that ] kent hold out any longer, but
will hay to KAYE in.'
An editor and his wife we're walk
ingrout-iH The bright moonlight,one
evening. Like all editors wives,
she was of an exceedingly poetic ma
ture. =
Notice that moon how bright,
calm and beautifulln
Couldn't think of noticing it,n
returned the editor, "for anything 6
less than fifty cents line" .
Little Susie, porting over book In
which angels were represented as
winged beings, suddenly exclaimed
with vehemence:qsf .xstgfff8
Mamma, don't want to be an .
angel, and I need not, need Ia''
Why. Susie@ questioned her
"Humph /! leave of. ali my pretty
clothes, and wear fedders. ike
hen Pr q
A day or two since, while gentle 2
mut cyas examiningl a new harness
hehad just purchased, II was discov- p
cred that one Of the. buckles was de- =
ficient of q tongue. The master of ..
the shop was apologizing for the 9,
oversight, when one of his boys sung 4
out, eff You have lost You tongue, .
HAtt tSAtN y W. AAAAtsO. tAAsS
nence was soon checked by the GUS
toner, with this remark: "But
want q tongue that win keep its
place.. F 2 ae
First class in philosophy stand up. 70
Brown, what is life?p
Life consists Of money, q horse,
plenty of wine and cigars, and
fashionable wife, - -
F~'sW hat is poverty ?"
.+The reward Of merit which gep1us
receives from discriminating pub 9:
Iic." e
What Is religion?"
Going regularly to church i'm good q q
weather, and doing unto others as
you please without allowing a return
Of the compliment"
rWhat Is fame?n
"a six-line puff In newspaper" n
COME DOWNING were much HI
amused, the other day, by an anec-
dote Of a certain secretary of Gov bu
ernor, several removes back from the
present Chief Magistrate of the EN-
pire State. Like most sub-officials, q
to whom some pressing" final pro-
cess is committed, he bad an itching
r.a1fsr yvhHos ot the Foor,a etsvt.. ~ Il !