The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-03-20
NUMBER 13.
SPARE LINES.

"Thc social lyrc."-A female gossip.
An early spring-jumping ou. Of bed ut
five o'clock in the morning.
An intelligent fa,her-lhe wish that 10
father to the thought.
Tailor's revenge-giving customer
fIs.'
The lap ofluxury-,hc ca. enjoying her
milk.
Motto for the Island Of ST. Thomas
"when raken to be we'll shaken"
To believe that every thing has been dis.
covered. Is to believe that the horizon We
see is the edge Of the world.
When Is silence likely to get wet! When
Il rcigns.
Andrew Johnson resembles a bashful
lover, since he "lcuies tho .soh imPesch.
ment."
Never throw stones At a neighbor. but
when you see his baby In tho cradle, you
can rock IL.
Atemus Ward says when he hears tho
song. "Come where my love lies dream
ing" hc doesn't 20. lie doesn't think il
would be right.
A persons character depends good deal
upon his bringing up. For instance, q
man who has been brought up BY ih police
seldom turns out respectable.
Professor Huxley has discovered many
points of resemblance between the skeleton
of an ostrich and the skeleton Of croco-
die. What won't science discover II wo
20 on?
A Frcnchman, speaking Of Dumas 70.
uSsrked: "He is not powerful creator. but
he can work over matter in superb man.
ner. Asa father he would fail, but hc
would make splendid uncle"
The singing politicians at Washington have
got new refrain TO an old song. th;
Andy Johnson's body is a-swinging In the air.
Andy Johnson's body Is s-swinging In the air.
Andy Johnsou's body Is a-swingipg In the cir.
And We 20 marching on.
A witness spoke Of particular Peron as
having been "panially clad" "was he
not quite nude3' asked tho examining
counsel, "No," replied the witness, ''he
wore pair Of spectacles."
A priest was called upon to pray over tho
barren field Of his parishioncn. He passed
from ono enclosurs to another and pro.
nounced his benedictior,, a most enniest
benediction until he came to a most I'm.
compromising case. He surveyed the stcr.
10 acres in despair. "Ah," said he, 'hreil.
rn, 10 use to pray here; this needs ma.
nure."
A lady principal Of school, in an ad
vcrtisement in Philadelphia paper, men.
toned her female assistant and the "repu.
taton for teaching which she bears, but
the printer-a careless fellow-left out tho
"wbich," so the advertisement went forth,
commenting the hdys "reputntion for
teaching she bears"
Flowers are the alphabet Of angels scattered
over hills and dsles, and speaking what the
tongue cannot express.
A lady said to her sister, "T wonder. my
dear. you have never made 3 match think
you want the birthstone" To which she replied
-"No, not the brimstone-only the spark"
Gent on horseback to boy on donkcy-Get
out Of the way, boy get out Of the way. my
horse don't like donkeys Boy-Don't he,
then why don't he kick yer orf'
When you are askci to hold the baby, trot Il
hard, pinch Il, and make faces at il when the
mother Is not looking and you will soon be re-
lieved Of your charge.
A man boasting In q company Of lsdie, that
remarked that Il was altogether owing 10 tho
mellowness Of the soil.
The red, white and blpe-the red cheeks,
white teeth and blue eyes Of lovely girl-are
s good . flag As young soldier In the battle
oflife could fight for.
A friend visiting .Old Orchard Beach, and
spending an hour or 90 on the Beach and at
Gorhams eating some OF his nice fried clans
Was asked how he spent the Sunday. "well,"
said he, among the Ssbbsth-brsaksri.
An Irishman having looking glass In his
hand, shut his eyes and placed II before his
face. Another asked him Why he done 90,
Upon me soul. said Pat. "itis to zee how look
when am asleep
A genuine Jonathan lately took ride with
his girl. and stopped at restaurant and had .
glass Of soda. Itvas prepared and swallowed
at one drsught. then turning to her. he said.
"sal. that was darned good; why don't you
buy you some'"
"Sonny. do you love me sny'" "0h, don't
I though - "whst forr because you al
ways bring me candy when you como 10 zee
Sissy Jane. Give me some more" "And what
docs Sissy Jane love me for" "Oh. cause
you take her to concerts. and give her 10 many
nice things She soys. 50 long IS you are fool
enough to bring her shsuls and bouusts, shs
won't sack you. no how. Now. ge' me some
more candy"
There Is cockney youth who every time hs
wishes to sec his sweet-hesrt, cries "Fire"di-
rectly under her window. In the alarm OF the
moment she plunge, her head out OF the win
dow, and irqu,res "where!" when he poeti-
cally slaps himself on the bosom and eIclsims
"Ers. my Hsngelins-ere, 10 my "art.'
A Connecticut pedlar callin: upon an old
lsdy 10 dispose Of come goods. inquired Other
n she could tell him of any rosi that no pedlar
hsd over Travelled! Yes, said she, know Of one.
aud only one. that no peilar has ever travelled,
(the pedlar's couniensnce brightened,) and
that's the road TO Heaven.
"As poor as jobs turkey" phrase that
troubles the antiqusrians. but they do not