Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1868-08-29

Corners.
PosT OFFS, CoNFEDRIT X ROADS,
(Wich is in the State NV Kentucky,
July 81, 1868.
We he'd last mite a ratification meetin
at the Corners, witch started out glorious
ly but it didn't end so happily as it mite.
| he'd gone to a good deal of trouble a.
bout it and he'd made all arrangements
for feast NV reason & flow of sole ckalled
by few ratifcations and surpassed by
none.
The blessid Deacon McPelter and IS
saker Gavitt who expect respectively to
hold the posishens of Assessor, Collector
and Whisky Inspector for this District,
come down handsomely with the funds,
enuff to enable me to decorate the post
Office with flags and transparcncies, and
myself with pare nv ready made pants,
witch muddied considerable to make EN-
look old so that they shood not suspect
there funds he'd not bin applied in that
way. Human nacher is a unscrutable
mystery. They wood oljeck did they
know l he'd clothed myself with their
money instead NV wastin it on taller can
dies and sich, wich burn out and leave
nothin behind.
wuz economikle in my expenditures,
or ruther but little expense wuz nessesary.
Desirin to wake the enthoosiasm NV the
Dlmocrisy, l procoered 4 passcl of Con-
fedrit battle flags, wich the returned he
roes he'd brot home with EN-, and he'd the
talismanic words, "Seymore and Blare,"
painted across EN-. The effeck wuz gor-
gus Ez mite aPproacht | he'd the tran
sparencies saved over from celebration
wich he'd been held after the battle NV
Chickamauga lighted up. The cnthoo-
siasm ez the populace saw these, and lis
tened to Captain McPelter, ez he read
EN- to en-, wuz overpowrin. How They
cheered ez the words fasht out into the
mite, Southern Rites, Southern Men, and
Northern Hirelins - "Down with the
gorilla Linkin !'' "Jcff Davis and the
Confedracy forever ~ "No quarter to
Fedral invaders !'' And when Bore
CARDS black flag, onto wich 'Seymore
and Blare" wuz painted in red letters,
wuz unfnrled, ther arose sich cheers for
the nominees NV the Moo York Conven-
shun ez l never heerd- before, nor expect
to agin.
AT this time, jist ez everything wuz
gittin red-hot, the trouble commenced.
Pennibacker, wich runs our biggest and
best distillery, jumpt onto the platform,
at my suggestion, and perposed three
cheers for Seymore and Greenbax, and
three groans TOR the bloated bondhold-
ers. The crowd, with true Dimekratic
docility, wuz agoin to cheer, when Bas-
com, who hez some 5-20's, riz and swore
that he be id if that shood be. 'Gov-
ernor Seymore is in favor NV payin the
Nashnel Indebtedness, principle and in
terest, in gold. Reed his speech at the
Cooper Institute
sIs he +? is he ?" shouted Pennibacker,
springing onto the platform, sis he !?
Read the platform wich he accepts !"
'Don't Belmont and the eastern bank
ers support him ?'' yelled Bascom.
"Don't Yallandygum, Pendleton, Brick
Pomroy and dirty shirt Dean support
him ?'' yelled Pennibacker.
"Your doctrine" sed Bascom, excited
edly, ''is id swindle-a peecc NV
theeYin wich Arab wood be ashamed
NV. and Seymore sed so.
"Your proposition is outrage onto
opprest people, grindin Nv en- into the
earth under the iron heels NV bloated ar
istocrats and pampered sons nv luxury,
and the platform Seymore stands onto
sez So, shouted Pennibacker.
"Your a swindler," excitedly yelled
Bascom, whereupon they clincied and
rolled orf the platform titely hrggin,
and maxim extraordinary physikle efforts
at injoorin each other.
To direct the attenshun Nv the populis
from this untOward circumstance, j re-
kested Issaker to sing out three cheers
for Blare
| "Three cheers for Blare ~ sung ont Is