The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1868-10-15
The Old Bachelors Cure.


might easily have believed it. A
little faded woman with scanty tow.
colored hair, fishy-blue eyes and 8
countenance all quilted over with
wrinkles, she sat there, talking
in voice whose whine seemed mo
mentarily ready to melt into tears
Its 60, go, and FITS come, come !!
went on this most prosecuted o1
womankind "and he has tried me
till, good Lord forgive me, could
most ha' wished he was dead And
now he's a comm visitin' to youl
house, pity ye from the bottom Of
my heart, Keturah seeley!'
Miss Keturah Seeley, a spare
brisk, little old maid, was engaged
in trimming Of the edges of various
pies, travelling round them with 6
small wheel shaped concern which
printed off odd zigzag patterns
round the border Her brown hail
was wrenched, as it were, back into
a knot, upon her bump of Philopro-
genitiveness her scant gingham
dress was pinned tightly round hel
there was not a superfiuous thread
or atom visible about her.
"You need not pity me!'' said
Miss Keturah, scudding across the
floor to the red, yawning throat OF
the old-fashioned brick oven, pile
delicately balanced on either hand
Miss Keturah's moments were by
far two precious to be spent in any
such slow business as walking 81
guess I'll get along somehow"
"He's goin' to stay a month"
"Well, let him stay"
Ellis mother was second cousin
to you and Israel, he says"
II shouldn't wonder"
"He'll be dretful trial-wants
warm water half dozen times a
day-can't eat bread 'cept it's made
with rye four-don't like pie nor
cake-objects to tea and coffee.
did think, sometimes, Keturah
Seeley, he'd ha' driv' me mad!'
"He won't drive me mad, l
guess
Israel, the silent brother of Miss
Seeley, who was muteiy mending a
section of harness by the door, gave
a short expressive grunt here-his
method Of endorsing his sisters
opinions.
Tell him to come on" said Is
rael, suddenly visited by the rare
gift of speech. There's al'ays lots
O. room and enough to eat, and
Tury, she's dead match for the
Old Evil One HIMSELF
Now, in skeptical minds, there
might be some lingering doubt as
to whether this comparison was ex-
actly complimentary or not. Miss
Seeley and her visitor, however,
gave it the most favorable interpre
tation.
Well" said Mrs. Pickham, ris-
ing, "he'll be over to morrow morn
ing, bright and early
Thus remarking, Mrs. Pickham
took her leave, and Miss Keturah
Seeley was left at liberty to devote
the whole of her mind to the pie
baking question.
The long shadows of the next
morning had scarcely crept away
from beneath the silvery foliage of
the aspen trees in front of the old
Seeley farm house, when the Pick
ham equipage, ruinous buggy,with
nodding top like an old woman's
cap, ratified up to the door, bearing
the old bachelor, who for months
had been the scoarge of the neigh
borhood. Miss Seeley came to the
door as Mr.. Pickham, who by some
odd contradictory freak of Nature,
was as ruddy and plump as his bet
ter half was wan and faded, helped
Zenas Parkes down the steps.
He was a tall, spare, attenuated
object, with twinkling gray eyes,
high cheek-bones and a bald spot
over his forehead-a man who step
ped gingerly, and spoke in a small,
squeaking voice.
''How do you do, cousin p said
Mr.. Parkes.
"How de do ?' responded Miss
Seeley. "What' that tin thing like
a coffin p
''That's my bath, cousin
''And what's that black roll %
''fhat's my India rubber suit for
wet weather."
'"Ohp'
Miss Leeley turned short round
on her heel ard went into the house.
Zenas followed her.
Il haven had my breakfast yet
this morning.
eve have"
II always like soft boiled eggs
and rye bread, with a bowel of coca.
Coffee plays the very deuce with my
epigastric region -
with your which %
"My digestion-my stomach
ooh r'
"And I'd like a broiled chicken, if
yours are big enough"
'pd like twenty thousand dollars,
observed Miss Keturah, reflective
| ly. Zenas stared at her.
II don't understand you, cousin" :"
II only wanted to signify that
we can't always have what we want
| in this world"
Mr.. Parkes stared again. Hith-
erto his whims had been INDUCED
with abject compliance, what did
this skinny little woman mean by
presuming to oppose them?
Where's my room? Oh, dear,
dear! I'm not able to go up stairs
to sleepn'
s.It's ruther damp down cellar ="
ssBut I mean-I always sleep on
the ground foor.''