The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1868-12-15
Mrs. Brown on America.

The PdU NAL Gazette notices in the follow
ing style book on America by snobbish
Bnglishman, who travels under the aliases of
George Rose, Arthur Sketchley, aud Mrs. Brown,
and who honored us with visit some months
ago. Mr.. Rose did not succeed in attracting
crowded houses by his entertainments, so he
went back home again 10 write his opinion that
all is barren on this side Of the Atlantic:--
New York is duI place So says Mr.. Rose,
ana o WORDS could better describe the character
OF his experiences. To IA man who knows New
York il is one OF the gayest and most enjoyable
cities in the world; but il his view of the place
and people be CirCumsCribed by the prospect
from the hotel windows, it Is not TO be wondered
at that his impressions should be gloomy. b Jur.
Oon Whiskyis ''flthy.n Make itinto a cocktail"
next time, Mr.. Rose. CLANS are nasty look
ing hsh OF the mussel trlbe,n to which we may
say with Dogberry, why, this is flat periuryn
The 'little neck clam is a delicious blyalye
When Mr.. Rose is capable of abusing clans we
are not surprised to find him insnuating that
American men are often the reverse Of brave.
The pacific tailor" he says, speaking of the
army, "has sprung from his shop board,
and beating his shears INTO a broadswOcd,
has rushed into the field, and it is only
justice to add that many have displayed the
better part OF yalor." Such is what we may,
without oHense call q COcBney account OF
an army which so recently performed work the
world is not likely TO forget. The American
women are padded tmposturcs. Their figures
are bad. "a CloCkwork arrangement to give
the effect OF heaying bosom Is a charming
device, and so are various paddings and
sutlings TO supply natural defects" Their
morals, we are led to believe are not much
better than their figures opp, 64-65). Strange
asit may seem to Mr.. Rose, the Americans respect
their women, and think them quite as beautiful
and vlrtuous as the women OF any other nation.
But when Englishmen think differently they
say so with true English pluck and indepen-
dence, and Americans dearly love them for it.
Are we not "one people, speaking a common
tongue, and loving each other almost to distraC-
ton We have at any rate been told so pretty
often of late, but not by the American people.
Let us now take glance at the American
lady as she appears eating eggs at breakfast.
1t may be mentioned first that she uses rouge
and white paint "a custom quite unknown IN
EDgland), and has an inordinate love of beads
Indians, She also cleans her nails with
penknite while sitting at the table. Behold her
at the eggs:-
"She then proceeded to eat them: but apparently
did not ike the While, for she spat it into her plate
from which she subsequently eat ham and eggs, and
dslicaces, finishing up with cakes aud moasses all
OF OF which sae vas washed down with coffee and several
which render IL very agreeable"
Is il any wonder the Americans love us so
much, when we draw these charming pictures
Of American ladies, and leave people to infer
that one woman Is a type OF her sex? "Ihere
is no community of teeliug between an English
man and American sayssMr. Rose. Not much
in this case, certainly. The Germans in New
York, he further tells US, are usually Hebrews"
"a statement, we are sorry to say, of amazing
ignorance. He speaks of Canada throughout
his book as the 'old DOMINION" serenely un-
conscious Of the fact that the title belongs to
Virginia, and that Canada has only Just been
made into dominion" of totally different
kind. He thinks funerals in America indecent,
and would himself preserve a "happy medium
What oa earth is happy medium in a funeral?
All the refinement OF the country is limited TO
the Southern States, and since the secession "the
power in Congress has fallen into the
bands OF persons of an inferior class" Mr..
Rose goes on:-"We know lnat the Senate has
been the scene Of personal violence, when
dignihed member gave one OF his peers severe
caning.' Mr. Rose omits TO state that the cir
cumstance he quotes tends to disproge his
assertion about the altered tone of Congress-
that the incident occurred before the South
quilted Congress, and that the outrage was
committed by Southern member. The Presi-
I dent never speaks but when he is intoxicated
poor Andy ,J0hnsonW Never was man
faults as politiclen may have been. George
Washington was no general, and was prosy at
! the council board, but he proclaimed that all
men are born free and euual.'n He never pro-
! dently has some vague echo of the De-
! claration of Independence beating about
! his brain. Mr.. Thornton is much to be
! pitied Tor being doomed to live in such a society
! as that Of Washington. One political reflection
struck Mr.. Rose with great force, namely, that
! it was singular people so ready to aunul the
marriage tie should object TO the separation
| between North and South. So the book runs
on. We have quoted enough of it. Unless the
whole thing is intended as a Joke we can only
say that Mr. Rose has furnished us with sorry
entertainment. We have written for the most
part under the assumption that the author is
/ playing his professional part OF the funny man.
+ But he may mean it all seriously. One can
never tell what these comic people are really at.
! II he is in jest, may time mend his wit; and if
he Is in earnest, may 1t give him better under