The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1868-11-12
What's The Matter With That Nose.

L
| Snyder kept beer saloon some year
ago cover the Rhine" Snyder was pom
derous Tenton, of every irascible temper
sudden and quick in quarrel-Get MAJ
| in minute. Nevertheless his saloon wa
a great resort for the boys-partly be
cause of the excellence of his beer, ant
partly because they liked to chafe "old
Snyder" as they called him for althrougl
his bark was terrific, experience had
had taught them that he wouldn't bite
One day Snyder was missing, and il
was explained by his "frau," who "jerked
the beer" that day, that he had "gone
out fishing NIT ter boys" The nexs day
one of the boys who was particularly
found of roasting old Snyder, dropped iu
to get glass of beer, and discovered
Snyder's nose, which was big one at any
time, swollen and blistered by the sun,
until it looked like dead ripe tomato.
"Why, Snyder, what's the matter with
your nose z" said the seller
"I been out fishing nit der boys" re-
piled Snyder, laying his finger tenderly
against his proboscis, "de sun it pese hot
like ash der tifel, unit 1 purns my nose.
Nice nose, don't it ?" And Snyder viewed
it with look of comical sadness in the
little mirror back of his bar. 1t entered
at once into the head of the mischievous
fellow in front of the bar to play joke
upon Snyder, so he went out and called
half dozen of his comrades, with whom
he arranged that they should drop in at
the saloon one after another and ask Sny-
der what's the matter with that nose % %
see how long he would stand it. The
man who put the job went in first with q
companion, and seating themselves at a
table called for beer. Snyder brought it
to them, and the new conner exclaimed as
he saw him: "Snyder what's the matter
with your nose?"
81 yust dell you friend here 1 peen out
fishing NIT ter boys, unit de sun he burnt
'em-zwi lager-den cents all right"
Another boy rushes in. "Hallo, boys,
your'r ahead of me this time," spose I'm
in though. Here, Snyder, bring me a
glass of lager and pret-(appears to
catch sudden glimpse of Snyder's nose,
looks wonderiugly moment, and then
bursts out laughing)-ha ! ha ha Why,
Suyder,-ha.h ha whats the matter with
that nose 2"
Snyder, of course, can't see any fun in
having burnt nose, or having it laugh
ed at, and he says, in tone sternly en-
phatic:
1--WE been out fishin' NIT der poys unit
de sun yust SO hot like ash der tifel, unit
l purnt my nose; dat ish all right"
Another tormenter comes in, insists
on ''setting 'em up" for the whole house
Snyder" says he, "fill up the boys glas-
ses and take drink yourself-ho ! ho
no ha ha ha Snyder, what's the mat
ter with that nose p
Snyder's brow darkens with wrath BY
this time, and his voice grows deeper and
sterner-"I peen out fshin NIT ter poys
on der leetle Miami. The sun pese hot
like as hail, unit l burn my bugle. Now,
dat is more vot l don't got to say: Voi
gindof pesens That is all right: purn my
own nose, don't it 7"
"Burn your nose-burn all the hair of
your head for what | care ; you needn'i
get mad about it.
1t was evident that Snyder wouldn't
stand more than one more tweak at thai
nose, for he was tramping about behind
his bar and growing like an xasperatcd old
bear in his cage. Another of his tormen.
ters walked in. Some one sings out tC
him, "Have a glass of beer, Billy"
"Don't care about any beer," says Billy
"but Snyder, you may give me one of your
best cigars-Ha-a a ha ! ha ho ho ! he
he! ha ha-hal Why-why, Snyder
what's the matter with that nose ?"
Snyder was absolutely fearful to behold
by that time, his face was purple with
rage, e,all except his nose, which glowed
like ball of fire. Leaning his FOUNDER
Gus figure far over the bar, and raising
his arms aloit to emphasize his word with
it, he fairly roared:
M've peen out fshin NIT ter boys. The
sun it pese hot like as inflammation. ]
purnt my nose: Now you no like dose
nose, you yust take dase nose unit wr.wr-
wr-wring your tam American finger wit
em That's the kind of man vot am ]"
And Snyder was right.