Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1868-08-26
Josh Does Up His Back Cores
pondence.

when the "Geettyburg Asylum Gift
Lottery will dra1g, but probably, like
other pickpockets, the next good
chance they get.
''Bummer " When i hear man
Dragging about hiz ancestors. it alwus
makes me feel bad-tor the ancestors.
BHly.'-Buty IL like molassis, very
good ointment, but sickish for steddy
diet
$ 'Benzne MEM who have a CRATE
deal tn do with hosses sene tew de-
moralize faster than the hosses do.
Hoses are like dice. and kards> sail
/ though they are virtuous enutf them
selves, how natural it Is tn gambol
with them
Hoses luv the society ov man, and
being susceptible of CRATE deceit,
they will learn man how to cheet &
| lie b4 he knows it.
| | kno lots ov folks who are rele nj
US, and who are honest enutf tew work
up into United States assessors. and
have sum good sized moral chuncks
left over, but when they cum to tork
hoss, they want as much lookin after
az case Of dipthery.
Brook. Club houses are usually
asylums for henpecked husbands and
vagrant bachelors.
| have always bin q friend to down
trodden woman, and hav bin in favour
ov their voting from mi infancy, but
if they kant vote, / say let them club.
One rule Of their club II a golden
one, mo man shall be present on
pain of deth." If they stick to this
rool, they are sounder on the gander
than supposed they waz.
Biscuit In reply to yure qucs
tions, l would hurriedly state that
the tode is a domestik animal, or kan
| be made so by coaxing him into a
barrel and shutting up the bung- hole.
They stand in the same relashun to
phrog that Dutchman does to
live Yankee. They aint so sudden
gated as the frog. they lead a very
retired and pensive life during the
| day, behind stun walls, but when twi-
light begins to dress for the night,
then todes and todesses begin to re
connoiter round.
They are said to be striltly virtu
Gus, but this incessaut bumming round
nights, and keepin hid all day, haze
caused me to suspicion the tode.
If todes kan live on what they eat,
| they would be Iust the things TO stok
a boarding school with, for one fly
and couple of bugs is all the meat
they want for iortnite.
Todes are very lengthy tew liv-
| should think about 400 years. |
have otter thought | would buy one
and keep him till he died, just tew git
| at their age.
"Beljnda. i have alwus sed. Civ
woman the choice of three men for
husband, and the chances IL, she will
manage to loose all three ov them.
Every body luvs to drive four-in-
hand better'an they do a single hoss.
If you have really got three beaux.
thank the Lord for his kindness, and
freeze fast to one of them. tn onst.
The more yu look fur perft Ishun
the mere blemishes yu will come
acrost; and the moro suckers yu git
into yoor net, the more yu viii hank /
er for. and the more danger there IL |
ov the net bursting and letting awl
the fish out
kant tell YOU which one ov the |
three fellows yu had better snare ;
but mi advice IL. to take the one you |
find Yourself, the most anxious tn /
please, and tu keep on so doing after !
you are one flesh, and if you aint
happy pear, yure husband is simply a
mean kuss.
Beans. "-Courting is about half /
nature and about half science. The /
natur in it is luv, modesty. and faith, T
and the science is simply energy.
Yu must begin slow, but by and by /
it Will be best to agitate things.
Wimmen, as a lump. had rather be /
took by storm than by siege.
Wimmen never surrender. nor are /
captured. They fight it out on this
line"
I am talking now ov sensible vim
min.
Thare il wimmin who are as easy
to court az lint.
"Luv at first sight" is like eating
honey. 1t does seem as tho yu never
could git enough of it.
THIS kind Of luve Is apt tew make
blunders
But thare amt no sich thing az
pure mathumaticks in courting. If it
is awl natur, it IL too innoscent for
earth and If it Is awl science it IS
too much ike job.
Perhaps the best way tew court, IL
tew begin without much ov emmy plan
WHARF va are going tew fetch up, and
see how vu and she likes it, and then
let the thing worry along kind Of car
less, like throwing stones into mill
pond.
Yu will find one thing strictly tru,
Mr.. Beans: the more advice WI IN
dertase to follow, the less amount of
good courtIng vu will do. II
THE New York World says the