Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1868-08-19
.bIIo(): .:.,Statttls,ssjlll,l1a:lnlIl. tttl,sjl,1 III
The .Tosh BiIlings Papers. j
coRREsPoNDENCE.

.sJNlia,-f kant answer awl yiire
3 questions without intruding upon the
privacy ov mi imaginashun, and / hay
alreddy .overdrawn mi account in that
fund. ;s28s e5l '4alass'a a., ''5 70 '1,. s1so
-ai But lam not only willing, but anx-
. .ions to say, in reply to your inquirys,
that poodle dogs are positively no ac
complishment. Lady who pets poodles,
and lug them through the steets1 in their
G arms, and feed them onnrare bits, are
seldom seen releaving the wants ov the
poor, or soothing the cry ov anguish, I
= Poodles are good for nothing on earth,
only to hive feas, or to tie onto a long
stick and wash the outside of windows
with. .l Dunaln al31l' =, = - i5l5t'a % i
If yn must have a pet, git yung rae
coon, or a tamecow, and study the devil.
try ov the brute creashun; theze critters
win not only keep yu bizzy. but will
either learn yu tobe pashunt, or impress
1yu with the extreme cussidness ovipets,
and hope the latter. 7fri ia11i hr1o1 %
'he Pets ov awl kinds are not only a dam
dage to the animals, but a kind ov dis,
egrases tews the dignity of human
being. sw noiisessns .1sa'29L .sja9m :.
Be sympathetick, but don't be soft,
Julia. Civ q stray cat a nights lodging,
but don't encourage the critter to cum
again. ,a19a"9si9 slo71sa 7i3ti niai7o1 b.
:" Clarence. y " A literary reputashun il
a good deal like tight-rope dancing; it
takes long time, and mutch pashunce
tew get it, and it iz deuced slippery biz
ness tew stand on after yu hav got it. =
A few make mummy by it, but most
make crusts. f Yi1s5 b1s ytls83 .saiip=
dYu may think that it IL big thing
tew be seen in the nuzepapers, but, az a
general thing, It'll safer tew stand in
front of looking-glass. Yu see yurself
thare az others see yu. u sl4
"a, "a If yu hav really got a good taller
candle of yure own, yu are commanded
by the Scriptures not to hide her. under
half-bushel; but let me advise yu tew
be certain that yure dip will burn before
yu light it, for, once in harness, thare is
noeskape for the ordinary literary hack.
Hiz vanity il too muskular for hiz
sense. ---
| If it is fame, Clarence, that yu are
looking after, i'kan assure yer that the
q glory ov the common skribbler will per.
forate posterity, just about az deep az
the advertisements of aquack dokter.
My advice tew yer iz .dredful short
and simple, and az eazy tew follow az a
halter. r TO-
If yu are fully satisfied that yure fust
literary effort iz perfect, tare it up and
don't be phool, but once, but if yu SIN
cerely doubt it's merit (Which il the hard
est kind nv doubt to inhale) let the pub
lick decide between yu and yure fears.
The publick have no vanity; they are
az praktical az a lot nv surgeons in a
dissekting ROOM q Al ~naoaa
Don't be skared at the critiks neither;
they are like the hornets, never sting
dead things. +
I3ZlIn conclusion.if yu do succeed in the
literary ring, yu will find that the goose,
which thoze who have lost, IL a good
dealslike the military coat NV a disband
lutenant in the late volunteer service,
worth more in the piece than it IL in the
coat. - 3; - -. 'l ~ A
:, ..:Jake."-Peakoks don't appear, upon
.cluss scrutiny, to1be ov emmy vital i'm
| portance to themselves nor ennybody
| else, Just now. We read in the old
| books that the wife of Jupiter quite
often appeared on the boulevard, at
mount Ida, with peakoks in bubble har-
ness to skeleton thiswuz undoubted-
-1y SO, but you must reckolekt that pea
koks. like everything else, have grown
weaker, if not wizer. % Il
Az means NV diet, peakoks are not
good, if they am, it iz a profound sekret,
known only tew few. They are alto
gether too good-looking to be worth
mulch, buty haz made them useless, il
| often works so. but buty il worth more
to peakok than to ennybody else, take
the buty awl out nv them, and what il
left wouldn't bring more than Is dollars
ID The femail peakok haz asad and lone
sum demeanor; they look and ackt az
though they had bin brought up and ed
ukated just to admire their hansum hus
| bands. ~ -.- t .- sa'-
| Thare iz one unfortunate fakt that
hav noticed amung the animal and bird
creashun, and that il, the men all out
style the wimmin. and keep them under
their thumbs. What muss this would
raize in the human family. ~
The great buty ov the peakok himself
IL in his postscript. This he kan lift up
purpendikler, and spred like a flower
bed. .A 90 saEa.e- e. ---. ,71'-e
But when yu kun right down to aktual
arithmetic, one peakok in township IL
enuff capital for the whole populashun,
and he aint ov emmy more account, pretty
soon, than the cirkus bills on the butt
end ov barn, the next day after the
performance liz over. ,.ira' "a. .t--C .
"Gabriel." l."-Excentricit duz not nee.
essarily imply genius, but it iz quite
common to- see men who are top heavy
with brains travel zigzag in the common
walks ov life. 49,, s.-.
Thare il sum people who put excen.
tricity, on for effekt. This IL full as ri.
dikulus az playing drunk.
An excentrik man iz frequently az
amuzipg in hiz way ov doing az a bob.
tailed kite in the air.
.E 1t don't add tew emmy mans heft to be
odd, or awkward and thoz who are
really afflikted with it would be glad to
swap it oph for sumthing easier.
1t often happens that excentricity IL
courted with twice the labor it would
take to do things az others do them.
Excentricitys being the toadstools that
crop out, occasionally upon the surface
ov talent, and being mutch eazier to
photograph than the valuable things
that he iz master ov, we find plenty ov
imitators ov oddness, who probably hav
just genius enuff to be precise in their
manners, but none to waste on excen-
tricity. - e'tl,t .1sT
Permit me, Gabriel, to wind up by
making the following remarks :72-,E.[