The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1868-04-10
SPARE LINES.


Why Is schoolmis,re.s like the letter c
Because she forms iasses into classes.
What riches are those that certainly TAX
themselves wings and fly away' Os'
riches.
A youth declnrs that his sister is so ten
der that she can't he induced to strike
light.
A cruel wig turned a balsl-heaalcd ir'eh''
into IN enemy by advising him to- nave "''
head frc~coed.
A dog in T.lc.io has Just been released
from an accidental confinement OF 'our
weeks, during which 10 had nothing but
his bark to gnsw,
Keep doing. always dong. Wishing,
dreaming, intending, murmnring, taking
signing, and repinins. aru idle and pro6lless
employmen,s
A chap who was told by colporieur to
.Remember Lots wife," replied that he
hal trouble enough with his own, without
remembering other mems wives.
IL l. not until tho flower has fallen oil
that the fiui, begins to ripen. 80 IA lie II
is when the romance is past that the practi-
cal usefulness hegirs-
A writer. dwelling upon the importance
of small things, SAWS that ''he always took
note even OF a straw, especially if there
happens to be sherry cohbler at one end
OF IT,"
Aman is fool if he he engaged with any
III that In cannot rmedy, or if' he endures
one that he can. lie mus, bear the govt,
hut there is no occasion to let u hy tickle
his nose.
Chaplin SAYS, I should not like to preach
TO congregation who all believe ns be-
believe. I would AZ soon preach to a
basket Of eggs in their smooth eompaciness
and oval Formally.
When you see n young man and woman
walking down the street. leaning against
each other like pair Of badly matched
oxen, Il is pretty good sign tina, they are
bent on consolidation.
The best thing we can do is to make our
h,arts better. to see that they are filled so
full of all that is wise, AMI true and kind.
that there shall lie no room for hatred and
folly to sow the seeds Of regret and re.
morse.
An exchange says II Is rsported that our
President, Andrew Johnson has long trie,l
in vain to get his life insured. The various
underwriters assigning rs a reason that no
clerks in their employ were clever enough
to make out the Presidents policy"
A correspondent Of Detroit paper bcgs
that Il will not press the Democrats 81 hard
as to induce them to quit proPhcsying
Democratic victories. as in that case the
Republicans will have to buy their own
hats. coats and boots.
A dramatic author. who Is adapting
new burlesque Cor the stage. announces that
several new diliics will he presented in the |
piece. Goodness gracious we hope not
there ara nudiiiss enough presented already |
at the theatres, without any additions.
A bachelor editor, speaking Of conven.
ton Of old maids to I've held in Little Rock,
to .ga,n true knowledge Of the nature and
attributes Of men," advises them that mat
rimony is the shortest aud safest road to the
knowledge they nrc in search Of
The Bangor papers mention that spo'
cial religious interest is being manifested in
that city.
We'll, IL there is any place in tho State
where especial religious interest," would
be beneficial, il certainly is not far from
Bangor.
Young Ladders Who are accustomed tn read
newspapers are always observed to possess
winning ways. most amiablo dispositions,
always select good husbands, invariably
make good wives. anil ARE seldom or never
taken in by i,incrant impostor.
"I wish could prevail on neishbor Rim
kcr to keep the Sabbath, said good old MIR.
Jones. "I'll tell you how to do il" ex'
claimed young Smith. "get somebody to
lend ], to him. and III be bound IL he don't
keep it. lie never was known to return
anything he borrowed"
Some Californian started the following
~ noted trout fisher died in Alameda
county, not long ago. Ills last words were
characteristic: "lsay Brown, ] am going
to peg out, sure. I've flirted my last fish;
hut bury my tackle with me-who knows
but they bite in jordan :"
Live 10 be useful. Live to give light
Live TO accomplish the end for which you
were made, and quietly and steadily shine
on, trying to do your duty. For those who
arc enabled through grace to shine rs lights
here. shall shine rs suns and stars forever
and ever.
A fortune hunter. being in ballroom,
heard q gentleman giving nm account Of the
death Of rich old widow. "Died ycster-
day, In her eighty.nin,h year" said the
narrator. "what n pity" exclaimed the
fortune hunter; ''what fine match she
would have made two days ago"
There Is a certain lady Of rank and fash
Ion Il, All. WIN constantly believes herself
TO be dying. To her husband, who Is ab.
sent on political mission, she recently sent
the following telegram sReturn instantly.
I am very ill-dying." To which no NJ.
do - replied Pressing business. Wait
fortnight" Madame dc - has waited.
A few days since teacher in one of'our