Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1868-04-17
Nasby.
THE NEW HAMPSHIRE ELECTIoN-THE
PREPARATIONS FOR A PROCESSION
WHICH DID NOT TAKE PLACE.

! PREPARATIONS FOR A PROCESSION
WHICH DID NOT TAKE PLACE.
WASHINGTON, ID. c., Mar. ] 8, 1868.
Probably the happiest time wich wuz
ever assembled in the vale of teers wuz
in the White House on fine mite of the
elecshun in New Hampshire. 1t wuz
gay and festive scene. Hilarity rained.
The President with unwonted smile on
to his face, his nose shinin with prefer
material brilliancy, his eyes sparklin with
a lite that Good only come from a sole
surcharged with JOY and skin tolerably
full of whisky, walked up and down the
room rubbin his hands with glee that
Good not be repressed.
Is all prepared?" asked Randall, nv
humble lookin cuss that does share
NV his managin, Che wuz originally paid
by Mrs Cobb, but sence her ontimely
failyoor, in biznis he is allowed the earn
ins nv one day in each month NV a whis-
kyinspector in Moo York, sis everything
arranged? 2"
1t is, yoor Eggslency," (To these fel-
lers all thehigh officers are 'Eggslencies.' y
Is the powder procured for one hundred
guns
1t is, yoor Eggslency."
is the rockets drawed from the Navy
Department to be fred from the different
parts Nv the cityto show spontaneous en-
! thoosiasm ?"
They is, yoor Eggslency"
Hev the Department clerks bin not-
fed that it wood be well for EN- to gladly
fall into percession with His Eggslency,
the President is to be serenaded, eff they
desire to keep their places?"
They hev."
Hev the transparencies bin painted
with the proper inscriptions? Did yoo Sc
one inscribed, 'sinclair's majority 5000!
Moo Hampsheer's protest against i'm
peachment!"
They hev, and | did,
Then, said Randall, "aIsis in read
iness. The brass bands know are in
waitin. Stanberry writ the Presidents
speech this mornin, and he hez it tolera-
bly, well by heart, and the jollifcation
must go orf smooth and pleasant"
At this moment the President APP
preached.
Ha, said he, "in one more short
hour Washington will be alive with joy,
and the country will breathe free. Moo
Hampshire hez spoken. In an hour we
shall hev the glad intelligence that she
hez bin troo to the constitushun ez | ex-
pound it-that she hez rebooked Sumner
and Stevens and Wade, and sich, and sed
in thunder tones to the impious wretches
who wood, in me, pull down the pillars
NV the government, stay yer fanticidle
hands. The thot overpowers me, Let's
take suthin."
a half hour wuz spent in innocent hi
larity. The President showed the thor
oughness NV his reconvershun to Dimoc-
racy by takin hizzen strate, with nothin
in it, while Seward betrayed his origin,
and his consekent unreliability, by drink
in some kind NV lite wine with no more
body y'into it than wood be in bottled cider.
"Confushun to Wade. exclaimed the
Preside ntholdin up his glass and watch
in the beads rise to the surface with a
pleased eye.
moo Hampsheere, sed Seward, may
Connecticut carry forrad the work she
hez so gloriously begun"
"Our ofises, said Randall long may
: we hold en-"
Kentucky sed l, "allus troo; tho
all other States may desert Dimocrasy,
: Kentucky will be faithful among the
faAhlis found. Her distileries attest her
steadfastness to her party obligashuns >
And in such toasts the thirty minutes
7 wore away.
, A private secretary entered.
A dispatch from Moo Hampsheer :
"Hap' sed Randall, seezin it, now
: : tremble Ablishinism quake Stevens, fol
your time is come Exalt your horn, Di
mocrasy, for the reackshun is here?
The gentle and trustful Sekretary
, opened it, read moment, turned pale
and fell faintin on the floor. Seward
glanced at it, and gaspin, "This is tn,
end Wife," (wich is intended for his las
i words fell likewise prosttrate. The pres
$ ident snatched it from Seward's hand
= and tainted across the rest NV them, anC
e Welles seein the President faint, did i
e becoz the President did, without readil
+ it. Welles takes physic every time tn,
It President does.
/ l snatched the dispatch and read j
IS myself, ez follers:
o TO THE PRESIDENT Its all up. Tn
h a dead duck. Hartman is elected b.