The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-06-14
MORNING srAz AND cArHo11c x1sszseER.
NEW ORLEANS, SUNDAY, JUNE u. 1863.
wTr AND w1sDon.

The fortune of war-Prize money.
beastly exhibition-A menagerie.
Something always on hand-Your thumb.
Dearer than life-Fashionable funerals.
Nobodys chiId-Joshua, the son of Nun.
Head work-Two negroes butting each
other.
A real sweetheart-A bullock's heart
stuffed with treacle.
Lawyers, it is said, as general thing,
are very feeble men.
Why are large rivers like trees Because
they have branches.
The only man not spoiled by being lion
lied was the Prophet Daniel.
If a redbreast comes into your garden,
does he come there a robinf
The Mississippi ought to be eloquent, be-
cause it has a dozen mouths.
When is blow from lady welcome
When she strikes you agreeably.
1t generally costs little to get wife, but
often a ruinOus amount to keep her.
Apropos of earthquakes-One touch of
nature makes the whole world kick.
1t doesn't follow that q man dislikes his
bed because he turns his back upon it.
What did the spider do when he came out
of the ark 7 He took fly, and went home.
Many a man keeps on drinking till he
hasn't a coat either to his back or his stom-
ach.
Courage, like cowardice, is undoubtedly
contagious, but some persons are not at all
liable to catch it.
A gentleman who has recently lost an
eye begs to intimate that he has now q Eva
cancy for n pupil"
The easiest and best way to expand the
chest is to have good heart in it /; it saves
the cost OF gymnastics.
The reason why whales frequent the Arc
tic seas is probably because they supply the
northern lights with oil.
The person who "stole Il march =" has
been put in the same cell with Procras-
tinatiOn, the thief of time.''
lady once remarked that carelessness
was little better than halfway house be-
tween accident and design
1t is legal maxim that " the law does
not concern itself about small matters -
but lawyers and law makers often do.
Jones considers himself n lucky fellow,
for his food is principally bacon. Doesn't
he, therefore, live on the fat of the land.
A Paris actress fell near the footlights,
but escaped injury from the circumstance
that she had nothing on which could take
fire.
People who think they have scall =" to
preach, should also take into consideration
whether anybody has "call" to listen to
them.
''This is the first time ever reoiced at
the fall of my best friend,'' said a joker, on
being told that the price of bread was re-
duced.
Why are railroad companies like laun-
dresses 7 Because they have irOned the
whole country, and sometimes do little
mangling.
Tom Hood says nothing spoils Il holiday
like Sunday coat or Il new pair of boots.
To have time set easy, your garments must
set the example.
The presentation to Il newly married Ia
dy, by her husband, of a washboard, mon.
gridiron, and a pair of fiatirons, is sufficient
cause for divorce in Illinois.
: 81 will lay you wager" said a sports
IMAM to another, that | will shoot more
crows to-day than youn ooh. yes, you
could always beat me croring."
Marriages OH horseback are of frequent
occurrence at the West. They may proper
~ be called bride ceremonies. How about
their being caught in a shower of rein
The latest agony in fashions freaks is the
being worn. They are too long for jacket
and too short to I've called coat. eco it.,
bobtail!"
lady asked minister if she might pay
attention to dress and fashion without being
proud. Madam replied the minister,
whenever you see the tail of a fox out of q
hole you may be sure the fox is there also
-" How shameful it is that you should fall
asleep" said a dull preacher to q drOwsy
audience, "whilst that poor idiot is awake
and attentive "I would have been asleep,
too" said the fool, if had not been an
IDIOT
An admirer said to young lady, while
playing the piano: "Td give the world for
your fingers. He was greatly taken aback
by her prompt reply that he mi chit have the
whole hand for his own. But then it's lean
year, you know.
The editor of Il Western paper remarks
that he is glad to receive marriage notices,
but requests that they be sent soon after
the ceremony, and before the divorce ia
annlied for. He has had seyeral .no4s