Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1868-01-30
How Tom Reused Her.

never so content as when llvlns
according to the direction of hel
medical adviser. DR.. Valentine
now understands her whims ano
oddities SO we'll that he humors hel
in every caprice if she imagines
rheumatism is her complaint, he
agrees with her, prescribes some
harmless potion il she thinks hel
Iappetite decreasing, some bread
pills kept her in good spirits until
the fancied symptoms of some. 9th.
Ter disease induced her to send a.
Igain for him.
During the last four years Tom
has often wished that his wife
would fall down stairs and break
her foolish head, for the reason that
the physicians and apothecary' s
bills made a serious inroad upon
his income.
About three months ago she
complained Of a pain in her side,
and as usual, the doctor was sum-
moned. After prescribing two or
three bottles of different COM
Ipounds-all harmless but rather
Iexpensive-he said
"All YOU want to assist medi-
cine in efecting a cure, is little
rousing. Although your ailment
is serious, it is not dangerous. AS
sumo little energy and you will
recover. Remember, rouse your
self"
After the doctor had retired, the
patient fancied that at last some
serious disease was beginning to
manifest itself, and like little
fool she went to bed in despair.
Tom understood the case thor
oughly from long experience, and
said mentally:
"She wants rousing, does she?
we'll, I'll give her surprise that
will startle her.
Mrs. Hake, an attractive widow,
lis young, buxom, amiable, and
Tom thought her attractive quail
ties might be available in giving
l
the patient the necessary rousing.
A short consultation with Mrs.
Hake resulted in the arrangement
of a plan, the execution of which,
was to induce Mrs. G.. to forever
afterwards throw physic to the
dogs.
Late the next evening while the
patient was fretting and groaning,
and announcing her intention of
giving up the ghost, Tom called
Mrs. Hake aside and said to her,
in a pretended whisper, but loud
enough to be heard by the invalid:
"Poor Fannie |! she is about to
die at last, and SO you and | may
as well arrange for our marriage" I"
Tom threw glance over his
shoulder as he spoke, and observed
the dying patient to cease her
groaning, and began to rouse her
self. Arising to sitting pos
ture in the bed to note every word
of the conversation, she stared at
them with eyes big as small onions
boiled.
"Twil1 be a relief to her." CON
tinued Tom, ''for she has always
been an invalid. |, too, have suf-
fered as well as she, but with you,
the picture of health, as my wife,
my happiness will be complete"
The widow threw herself upon
Toms shoulder, her arms about
his neck, and began to chew his
vest, in mouthfuls; to smother her
laughter.
''How soon shall we get married
aftershe is dead?" asked Tom, pass,
ing his arm around the widows
substantial waist.
81 suppose you're willing to wait
a week or two p simpered Mrs
Hake, as she leaned her head on
his shoulder and took another
mouthful of vest.
The invalid uttered an excla
nation, and landed on the floor
:. "You think I'm going to die, dc
you ?" she exclaimed. "Illlive II
spite you both ] and as for you
she turned and grasped. Mrs. Hakt
by the hair-"out of my house
, you designing vixen! It'll act a
my own nurse hereafter"