The morning star and Catholic messenger. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1868-1881, 1868-12-20


House of correction-the proofreader's room.
Why was Noah never hungryf Because he
had Ham with him.
Isn't it queer that shoemaker, who is ever
lasting, is continually ''pegging' outf"
The shortest way to a mans heart is down
his throat.
Mans love is like the moon-if it does not
grow larger 1T is certain to grow smaller.
What debt is that for which YOU cannot be
suedf The debt of nature.
If FIVE and a half yards make Pole, how
many will make o Turkf
What goes most against farmers grain
His moving machine.
Watering-places that remain open all winterf
The mouths of milk-cans.
A man may "do good by stealth" but for his
blushing "tO find it fame" that's all nonsense
Man shrinks from cold meat. Does this arise
from mans innate presumption of always
ruling the roastf
Man takes a woman with q dowry in the
same way that he accepts the hamper that
brings him handsome present Of game.
Men have two ways of extinguishing the
flame of lOve-they either let it burn out
quietly, or else they snuff it out by one blow.
Wherein consists the humanity of horse
He parts with the very bit from his mouth, but
is never deaf to the call of woe.
Kit Burns rat pit is not the one known az
the bottomless, notwithstanding the fact that
the prayer-meeting has fallen through.
Some one who has been swindled in the Ne
vada mines, insists that the coat Of arms of
that State ought to be sham rock and Tyre.
Wives are often foolish enough to sit up for
their husbands but you hear of few husbands
who have the patience to sit up for their wives.
Whoever saw the "pail of society," running
over with the milk of human kindness ~ If
so, where was the "cream of the joke I"
A Western farmer recently hung up a hoop
skirt in his corn field, to brighten away the
off hut Ea1I
full of boys. So 49, !.
In dilemma, during the time man has
been standing like fool, fumbling for an ex-
cuse, a woman will have invented ten thou
sand
young lady went to one of our photograph
artists day or two since, and wanted him to
take her with an expression as if composing a
poem
The following question is before the Sand
Lake Debating Society: (Which. do women
love best-to be Rugged in q waltz or squeezed
in sleigh :"
country paper says there is man in that
neighborhood SO mean that he sits on the door
steps of the church on Sunday to save the wear
of his pew cushions.
rural exhibitor says he has enlarged the
establishment, and now keeps a head of oxen
head of hen, and several head of cabbage
while he is trying to keep ahead of the times.
physician stopped at the shop of a country
I" Sir" said the apothecary, ct know of no such
farmer living about these parts"
When an acquaintance says GLOW are you 2"
and PUSHES by you without waiting for reply,
/ would not, if were in your place follow him
more than mile to tell him was well.
Why do women spend much time and
money on dressp asked a gentleman of a belle.
9 To worry other women" was the diabolical
but truthful reply.
A good newspaper is like sensible and
sound hearted friend, whose appearance on
ones threshold gladdens the mind with the
promise of pleasant and profitable hour.
Blonde hair is now all the rage in New York.
The Express says what cannot be dyed can be
covered with a golden wig" which is thought
cheap at seventy-fve dollars.
Aiphonse Kerr wittily said, touching the
abolition of capital punishment for murder:
BY all means; only let messieurs the murder
ers set the example, and cease osexecute u.s."
the Northwest, exposes for sale roam horse,
''or 30 much thereof as may be necessary to
satisfy the judgment"
military gentleman, at the dinner table of
fancy military company, gave the following
peace, invisible in war"
white boy met little colored lad the other |
day, and asked him what he had such o short |
nose for. 'spects 80 'twop't poke itself into |
oder folks business" was the reply.
Some one, who had keen appreciation of |
domestic matters, gave the following toast at
dinner table: 4" Woman, the only sewing ma
chine that ever basted a goose"
"Thats what call repetition exclaimed
wag the other day. ,,"What's that, Tom ." said
his friend "Why, look yonder, at that sign |
across the way, y. E. Weller, jeweller."
Dad, have You been to the museum :" said
ten-year old "No, my con-" "Well, go and |
mention my name to the door-keeper, and he'll |
lake You round, and show you everything"
"Now do take this medicine, wife, and I'll |
be hanged if 1T doesn't cure you" "Oh, will
AXE it by all means, for it is sure to do good
,ne way OF the other"
A photographer in Massachusetts, was recent1y
visited by young woman, who, with sweet
simplicity, asked, "How long does it take to
get a photograph after you leave your mea-
Iure I"
In reply to young writer, who wishes to
know (which magazine will give me the high
st position quickest 2" Il contemporary advises,
"a powder magazine, if you contribute a fiery