The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1868-06-05
A Little Nonsense.
WHEN is a cat like a teapotl When
you're teasin' it.


WHEN is a cat like a teapotl When
you're teasin' it.
What is the difference between a
watch maker and a jailori One sell
watches and The other watches cells.
"Won't that boa-constrictor bite me I"
said little boy TO a Snowman. "Oh,
no, boy, he never bites; be swallows
his wittles whole"
A Frontier exchange makes the fol-
lowing synopsis of the last Indian treaty:
ave give them everything tnat they
want, and they agree to steal nothing
that they do not want"
"Father, why don't we ever see
any faces at the window !" asked son
of his parent, rs they were passing an
insane asylum. because their heads
are all turned" was the reply.
A lady was urged by her friends to
marry widower; and, as an argument,
they spoke of his two beautiful chill
dren. "Children," replied the lady,
care like toothpicks. A person wants
her own"
A clergyman who went to sea in q
Pacific mail steamer writes TO the indie
pendent: "!The first hour under way
1 felt as if l wanted to 90 ashore; the
second hour 1 felt as if l should die;
the third hour I didn't care whether /
died or not; the fourth hour / was afraid
1 shouldn't die"
Little Frank was taught that every
one was made of dust. One day he
was watching the dust in the street, as
the wind whirled it in eddies. "What
are you thinking of" asked his mother.
"Oh" said Frank, with a serious face,
81 thought that the dust looked as
though there was going to be another
little boy"
The passion'of the French for theatri-
cal amusements, and the patience with
which they will wait at the door of
theatres for the sake of obtaining good
place for witnessing the performance,
are well known. At a crowded French
theatre, woman fell from the gallery
into the pit and was picked up by one
of the spectators, who, hearing her
grosning, asked her if she was much
injured. "Much injuredp exclaimed
the woman, 81 should think am. l
have lost the best seat in the very mid
die of the front row."
In western village a charming well
preserved widow has been courted and
won by physician. She has children; {;
among them a crippled boy who has
been petted, and if not spoiled, is allow
ed very great ''freedom in debate"
The wedding day was approaching, and
it was time the children should know
that they were to have a new father.
Calling the crippled boy she said !:
"George | am going to do something
before long, that l would like to talk to
you about" "Well ma, what is it I"
II am intending to marry DR.. Jones, in
a few days and" "Bully for you ma !
Does Dr.. Jones know itp Ma caught
at her breath, but failed to articulate a
response.
A plucky old fellow whose son was a
student in one of our New England COL
leges, spent the day with him and stop
ped to tea. When his cup was filed,
he seized bowl of salt, which he sup.
posed to be sugar, and put the usual
quantity in his tea. Sly glances and
suppressed snickering led him to suspect
that something was wrong, but the old
gentleman, who didn't like to be laugh
ed at, worried it down, and putting on a
face that was intended to make every
body think that he liked his dose of
salts, he called for another cup, and up
on receiving it, said to the head snicker-
er, "Young man, will you be kind
enough to hand me that bowl of salt 2"
The salt was passed, and amid the most
breathless silence, he dipped couple
of spoonsful into his tea, stirred it up
and tasted it with look of apparent
satisfaction. "Why, Mr.. !" said
the young man opposite him, "do you
drink salt in your tear always"
answered the plucky old man, with
emphasis, and in his pleasantest manner.