Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1868-06-17
GETTING INTO a FIX.

Some fourteen years ago [ wanted to
marry. did not care for bit of pink
and white flesh, as most fools do. |
would rather have kissed my rife than
any bride under the sun but [ wanted
to marry Twas going out to New Zea-
land, and wished to take with me one
who would look after my home, who
would cook my meals, and talk to a fell
low when smoking his pipe at night, and
mend his bags when they were torn.
Noac [ am as bad hand as the Qate)
Bishop Of New Zealand himself in patch
ing my breeks, but formerly was not.
Well, saw clearly that no one could do
all this for me but a wife, so [ determin-
ed to marry I said nothing to any one
about the matter-frst, because / knew
that should get SO roasted on the sub
ject of the bare possibility of my being in
love that my life would be made miser-
able secondly, because my time was
short, and. [ was determined to make
quick work, and choose for myself, in
stead of letting others make null of the
business for me. On turning the matter
over in my mind, the only two ladies [
could think of who would suit my book
were Fanny Fitzpatrick, a jolly young
woman, whose father was kind OF Irish
squire, and Margaret Leslie, the fast
daughter of fast Devonshire parson.
The question was, which should pro-
pose to first. Margaret had the best seat
on horseback, and would make capital
settlers wife, as far as hard outdoor life,
catching, horse-breaking, &c. were
concerned but then, somehow, Fanny
seemed to have more "go' in her. She
stuck at nothiug outdoors, indoors, up
stairs, down stairs, with friends, with
strangers she was able to do anything
simply, [ believe, because she had pluck
to 90 at anything.
Time was getting on, however, and [
could not make up my mind which would
suit me best, Fanny or Margaret. At
last, was obliged to decide, but could
not easily, SO [ tossed up a shilling
heads, Margaret; tails, Fanny.
Tie bob came down tails, SO it was
case Of Fanny. What [ wrote to her ex-
actly, [ forgot; but it was to the point
namely: that had so much money; was
going to New Zealand wanted wife,
and would take her if she would
have me- [ added, that to save her the
bother of writing a refusal, L should con-
clude, if [ did not hear in a fortnight,
that she did rot mean to accept my offer.
Well, day after day passed on, and [
heard nothing. I suppose most persons
would think that | was on the tenter
hooks of expectation, and all that kind of
bosh-not bit Of it. [ did not care
much-if Fanny did not rise at my fly. [
would throw for Margaret; and if could
not hook and land either, why, after all, l
could, | suppose, get an old cook in
Auckland, who would, for time, do for me
| At last, the fourteen days had elapsed,
] waited one more day to make sure.
No answer. So it was clear that Fanny
would not have me. Well, then, pro-
ceeded to try and lasso the other filly. l
thought Of applying to the parson to write
the second letter for me to Margaret, be-
cause all that kind Of thing and CANNON
was in his line But then [ thought that
either Margaret would smell rat, or that
perhaps the parson, who was unmarried,
would pot her for himself. So l wrote
myself to Margaret pretty much the
same kind of epistIe as [ sent to Fanny !;
but left out the fortnight part of. the
business.
A few days afterwards, I received two
letters by post, one Of which | throught
looked like dun the other was from
Margaret, full of what people would call
gushing sentimentality. She accepted
me. | was at length her own darling !;
could ever have been SO silly as to
doubt it? Papa and mamma were de-
lighted and she was distracted with hap
piness, or some such thought, at being
able at length to sign herself my dear
Margaret. So that job was settled; l
was to marry Margaret. Correspondence
was never much in my line. In two
months was to sail, SO [ made up my
mind to 90 at once down to Devonshire,
and settle everything 0iu@ voce. [ rang
the bell for my servant, ordered my port
manteau to be got ready, and preparations
: made for my journey. I then carelessly
broJ-o hn ar,valoro rP NV second latter