The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1868-04-09

of being led to the altar by the patriarch of
the Greek Church. Charms and commit.
ments glance alike from each, as arrows
from the plates ofan iron clad, and they sen.
arate the best friends in the world, but moth.
more. Indeed, it could hardly be given to
mortal beauty, unaided by enchantment and
lore potions, to effect such conquest. The
professional bacheloris the embodiment of
wariness SO highly cultivated as to amount
'offolly. Probably in early life he has lett
in some trap portion of his tail, and since
then it has been the great aim OF his exist
ence to cultivate character for stoicism
which has been his "open sesame" to the
circles in which he moves. But II he makes
spring and miss IT, there would be nothing
left him but 70 sink out OF society. He is
becoming SO suspicious that it is utterly in
vain to spread snare for him; did he fancy
any symtoms of design to draw him into
an arrangement, he would be satisfied that
all appearances to the contrary, it must be a
bad bargain for him. de would see social
birdlime on every twIg, and repel the advan-
ces of an heiress ready to marry him without
a settlement. as the crowd declined to buy
the sovereigns of the gentlemen who was
selling them for shillings for wager.
Should he by any miracle be so far left to
never succeed in convincing the lady that
she was not the victim of practical joke in
| the worst possible taste. She would never
receive the declaration seriously protests
| and VOWS would only make her laugh or cry,
and despair and suicide would be attributed
to a coincidence rather than a broken
| heart. Gentlemen of this sort are quite con.
| scious of the tacit understanding that places
| them on so brotherly footing with the fair
sex.
| When they affect to act the loze-sick
Romeoto the simulated languishing Of q
| Juliet, they are quite aware that 1t is only q
bit of by-play which must not interrupt the
1 main action of the piece. When the gentle
| man who may turn out to be the hero ap
proaches the heroine, they have the tact tc
| get out of the way and leave him the field
in case he should care to throw the banker
chief If they lose the pleasure of love
making, at least they are spared the pang'
Of jealousy. Ifappetite is impaired, IL j:
the liver and not the heart late hours, anC
not blighted affections. Their lives flow
along easily enough and, as a rule, a minnC
AT peace with themselves and all the WORLD
leave them wonderfully good digestion.
The profession has its drawbacks even a
its best, but the great objection is that
man retrogrades instead of advancing in il
All along he has held his own in name
upon sufferance, and been admitted in cir
cles higher than his natural one on tn,
strength of gifts much the same as those o
a Partisan Quatorzieine. Thousands ofmel
who have shone as very much lesser light
were Just as we'll dressed, as pleasant, ant
: as good -humored as himself, and much NOR
clever. Unluckily, even such qualities as b
has deteriorate with time, and a course @
late hours, good dinners and heavy supper
is an admirable training for the blue devils
He has no mental resources lying belo'
what used to sparkle on the surface, an
fits of depression become longer and NOR
, frequent Should he be found out in thes
more than once, should his friends, by CON
, pairing notes, convert suspicious into certain
ties and pronounce him bore and fogy
then it rs all over with him. 1t is painful I
, see him Oh the ware, making frantic effort
to preserve his footing in the skirts of this
, atmosphere of society which has become {
, him as the breath of his nostrils Once Il
: his convulsive struggle be observed, and h
is deserted as plague-stricken it become
| only question of time as 10 when be fall
back into the abyss and lands lonely an
, forgotten on the cushions of club sofa.