The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1868-04-24
trmm the st, Louis Home JOurnai.l
LAW VS.. CATS.

There werel two Arkansas lawyers. They
were good old fellows--l mean good for
lawyers--an being members of the hard.
shell Baptist church, FOR wonder---or for
eject just ~ you like It, and were each
called Judge" Aud they hated cats as
much as country editors hate each other
Court was being held IN the town OF l..
and our two judges CLARK aud Thomas)
were IN attendance.
The town Of l.. consisted Of a court
house, built Of logs, q Jail built Of logs, q
hotel built of logs, aud u surrounding for
rest, which was also OF logs. ..a b.
The Jail, IA sad before, built Of logs
aud was without a foundation. 1t was n
one story building, and ii was said the
prisoners used to dig themselves out with
the ace of spades, But | always thought
this rumor had no moro foundation than
the Jail had.
The hotel was quito a large structure.
The partitions which divided the rooms of
the hotel were of logs, aud guiltless Of
chunkiog aud dauOing.
They used to make splendid corndodgers
at that hotel, the best ever ate. In fact,
there was but Que objection TO the corn.
dodgers, and only discovered that the
morning left. |. is this, the dogs were
allowed to sleep in tho meal chest.
But to my story. 1t had been hot
day. The Judge upon the bench had been
hot. lawyers had warmed with their sub.
iect until they had become perfectly fiery;
the sheriff, poor fellow. had "cried" both
at the opeiing and closing Of the court. and
Of course he was warm too; several fsTi
fucids had been issued--though many of
the fiery faces were attributable as much
to portable billiard saloon, which was
kept in gallon Jug back of tho court
house, as 10 the weather. The Jury had
disagreed, and YOU may be sure they were
warm Su. you see, was right in saying
it had been hot day. Supper was hastily
swallowed, and everybody being tired, be.
came unattired aud sought rest in sleep.
But, to my story. The beds were
"sh ako dowIs," six or eight in room.
Judge Clark lay with his head to the north
on one side, and Judge Thomas lay with
his head to the south on the other side OF
the room. so far as that room was con.
cerned, it might he said that their heads
represented the north and south polls, re.
spcctivcly.
All the other beds in the room were
occupied. In tho center of the room was a
comparatively large space of nutral ground
in which the occupants of The different
beds had equal rights. Here, in pictur-
esuue confusion, lay the boots, hats, coats
breeches Of the sleepers, There were no
windows, aud though the door was open
there being no moon, the night was very
dark in that room.
And now, to my story. 1t was peace
full scene. The Willy lawyers, who had
been contumacious as wild pigs through
the day, were now the very incarnations oil
meekness I; for when the hungry swarm o.
mosquitoes settled down and bit them oil
the one cheek, they slowly turned the
other to be bitten also.
Z" But hGshl bark !" A deep sound
strikes the ear like rising knell!
"Me.ow-ow
Judge Clark and Thomas were wide
awake, and sitting bolt upright in an in
slant. Again the startling cry
"Ye.ow ye'ow."
"There's id cat whispered Clark
"Scati you'll hissed Thomas.
Cat paid no attention to those demon
strations. but picked himself a softer spo
on the long upon which he was sitting, anC
gave vent 10 o yowl.
"Oh, Lord /" cried Clark, 4" can't stanC
this |! Where is she, Thomas 2"
"On your side Of tho room somewhere,
replied Thomas.
i'No, she's on your side" said Clark
"Ye.ow.ow. ow
There, told you she was on your side, j,
they both exclaimed, in breath.
And still the "yOwF' went on.
The idea-now entered the heads Of boil
the lawyers, that by the exercise of certain
strategy they might be enabled to execute
successful flank movement on the cal
and totally demoralize him. Practically
each determined TO file "a motion h
quash."
Each kept his plan TO himself, and IL III
dark. unable to acc each other, prepared 70
action. Strange as it may appear. it i
nevertheless true, that the same plan sn1
gested itself to both. In words, this pla
would be about as follows: "'rhe plai
is evidently looking and calling for al
other cat, with HON he has made an ap
pointment will initiate cat, and thj
cat will think 'tother cats around. Tbi
cat will come towards me, aud when h
shall have arrived within reach, I'll blaz
away anything can get hold Of, and knocl
the mew.sic c;:t OF him.
So each Of the porily judges, noiselessl,
| AZ fIthm CpHico w f'ilO hhi'aSO VI hiiiN
hoisted himself onto his hands and knees
and, hippopotamus fashion, advanced to
ward the neutral ground occupying th
central portion OF the room. Arrived there
Judge Clark selected boot jack, and Judg
Thomas heavy cnwhido bpot, from III
heap. and se;iied themselves down 10 tll
work. Clark frightened bis grip on tn
bootiack, aud throw ing up bis head CAV
vent 10 prolonged and unetrtl,ly "ye-ow
ow I" that wonld have reflected credit up
on ten OF ihe largest kind Of cats.
I Ahal thought Thomas, who was no
six feet away, she's Immediately close
around! Now Ill nvagle himl' and h
gave tho regular darknigh. call OF a feml
nine cat.
Each OF the judges advanced now q it'll
closer. and Clark produced a questioning
low? ow?" Thomas replied by reaf
suring Pur pur and they advanced
little more.
They were now within easy reach, an
each imagining the cat had but a momen
more to live, whaled away, the one wit
his boot, the other with his hoot!ack. Th
boot took Clark square in tbs mouth
demolishing his teeth, and the bootJac
came down on Thomas bald head just as h
was in the miGst OF a triumphant He-ow
When lights were brought tho cat ha
disappeared, but the catastrophe was !
opposite corners Of the room. with heel
ia the air, swearing blue streaks.