The Opelousas courier., 1868-05-02
Dead Broke.
BY THE "FAT CONTRIBUTOR

| We found man seated on a curb stone
near the post Office, last night, muttering
to himself apparently, as there was no
| one else to mutter to. We felt cons
trained to ask him what he was doing
there?
''Hain't doin' nothin',r was the reply.
"Where do you belon q"
"Don't b'long nowhere, and nowhere
don't b'long to me-"
"Who are you?"
"I'm broke"
"Well, suppose you are broke, you've
got name, haven't you!"
IL tell ye I'm Broke-Dead Broke
that's my name, and that's my natur. My
father was broke before me, If he hadn't
been, | wouldn't be broke now-at least,
not so bad. My mother was Peasley,
but she wanted husband, and she got
Broke-that's my dad-and Broke got
me. I've been Broke ever since.'
For few moments the unhappy D.
Broke buried his face in his hands, and
seemed lost in the most doleful refec-
tions. Then raising his head, he ex-
claimed bitterly:
Il wish / had been born a colt!''
"Why do you wish you had been bora
colt?''
Because colt amt broke until he is
two or three years old. was Broke the
moment saw the light, and never got
over it. It is hard to be broke so young"
How did your parents come to call
you Dead Broke"
swell you see, as soon as was born
something seemed to tell me that had
got to be Broke all my life, unless could
get my name changed by act of Legisla-
ture, and that, you know would be an
impossibility.
"How an impossibility p
"Are you such a blockhead as to sup
pose that man can get anything through
the Legislature when he is bToke?'
"You are right. Go on"
,"When the conviction forced itself
upon my infant brain, confused as it was
by recent experiences, that / must be
Broke all my life, I felt that there was
nothing left to live for, and lost all con-
sciousness at once. Il have found only
part of it since.")
''He is dead!' cried my mother,
wringing her hands.
YES" groaned my father, ''dead
broke!"
81 revived, alas, but Dead Broke, be-
came my name, and have been dead
broke ever SINCE"
''My name has been fatal to me all
| through life.. The smallest boy in school
always broke me in playing marbles. |
broke more windows than any other boy
| in base ball. always broke down at
recitations and had my head broke every
day by the school master. When / left
| school I went to clerk for broker. One
day there was heavy deficit in the ac-
counts. I was afraid he might think that
| had something to do with it-so IL
broke. They caught me though, and put
me in Jail, but / broke out
| "Out of jail!''
'.No d-n it, broke out aritk the small
poz -
''What did you do next!"
"After the court had disposed of my
case was allowed to go into the broker
! age business again.
"How was that p
81 broke stones in the Penitentiary,
dog on it! After l got out / broke my
promise, broke the Sabbath, and broke
the pledge"
"Were you ever married %
ayes, (sighing deeply,) matrimony
broke me up worse than anything else.
My wife was regular ripper. She broke
up my furniture and the dishes, nearly
broke my back with flat-iron, and f.
nally broke my heart.''
by running away!''
''No, indeed, by sticking to me-"
| "You had hard time of it,
Gall owing to my name. But as dis
like it, it's mine; came by it honestly.
You wouldn't think anybody else would
want to be in my place, would ye! but
there are thousands of imposters all over
the country, trying to pass themselves
off for me-
.'In what way! ~
"When they tell their creditors they
are Dead Broke
There was another pause, during
which the unhappy possessor of an un.
fortunate name could be heard to sob. Al
length he broke out
1T. will be simple and fitting inscrip.
tion for my tombstone, though
/ ssWhat?r
aDEAD BROKE,n