The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1868-04-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

CYNICAL chap insists that the fewer rea
tions or friends we have, tae happier we aren
In your poverty they never help you;i
your prosperity they always help them
selves.
"A ScoTcHNAS ven to a lawyer once for
advice, aud detailed tle circumstances Of the
case
eli you told the facts Just as they oc-
Cured NJ said the lawyer
cay" was the reply, 81 thOOt ye Wad put
the lies into i'll"
A CLLRGTHAS happening to get wet, was
Sanding over the fire to dry his clothes, and
when his colleague came in be asked him to
Preach 10 him a. be was very wet. ono, sir,
thank you" was the prompt reply, "preach
yourself; You viii be dry enough 10 the pull
pit"
"NHATs your occupation. sir IN asked
lawyer Of a witness.
"MilIer"
"What sort Of mill do You rum"
gin mill, vas the reply.
e lawyer was satisfied.
a BEAuTIFVL Tn0uGHr.-The sea is the
largest Of all cemeteries, and its sIumbers
sleep without monuments. All other grave
yards, in al other lands, show some dstinc-
tion between the great and small, the rich
and poor, but in the ocean cemetery the king
and The clown, the prince and peasant are ell
alike and uudistinguished. The same waves
roll over aii--the same requiem BY the min
strels OF the ocean is sung % their f0Dor.
Over the remains the same storm beats, and
the same sun shines ana there, unmarked,
the weak and powerful, the plulned and IN
hou0red, will sleep on uIsii awakened bT the
same trump.
A wErrER 10 Scotland tells the following
anecdOte Of the manner N which that emil
nen,ly good man, Jonn Brown, Of Hadding
ton. managed his affairs of love. Let lovers
take notice
"A story OF the courtship Of John Brown,
81 HaddInst0n, has IL length been put into
book but ~ ny 0ung days heard it IN
the LOwlands of Scotland, and IL IL believed
to De true. This John Brown was the su-
thor of a Marrow Of Divinity and other
theological loks, which are held IN high
esteem By the Scottish people lie bad
courted a lady UPWARDS Of six years, and
was 50 sinEularlv modest and bashfnl that
he bad never Yentgred to kiss her. One day
ID occurred To him that Il would not be bad
thing 10 % 50 F; 80, II IS recorded, be said
10 her, Janet, Ina wcmans we've bsen AZ
Quainted now for six years, an -an'-Pge
never had a kiss yet dye think 1 may take
one, ma bonnie lass Y
"The reply was wonderfully characteristic
Of the Scottish maiden 'Jist az ye Ike,
John; onlv be becomin' an proper VII ~
"'SurelY, Janet, said John, well aSk
blessin' first The blessing was asked, and
the kiss exchanged.
"sOh, woman 7 said the enraptured, but
still devote minister, 'Oh, woman but iFs
guide; we'n moo return thanks And they
did"
A YOUNG man visiting his lady love, met
rival uho was somewhat advanced 10 years
and wishing to rally him, inquired how old
be vas. az can't exactly say" replied the
oeher, "but this can tell you-that an ass
is older at twenty than man is At sixty
81 RESORT to wine to stimulate my Wits"
said young sPendthrift g an oid one
"Ah." replied the veteran, ''that is the way
IL which began bot now have 70 resort
to my wits 70 get my wine"
"I AL ast0Eisas1, ny 1es- young ii2.yy, C. e.
the sentiments you express and make me
start" "W Ell, sir, I've been waiting for
you to start for the last hour"
"DoEs your knitting -macbing seam Z"
asked an 0ld lady # the proprietor Of ths
Bridgewort knitting machine. "It seems
not, ma am" was the pertinent reply.
KIssINa a factory girl may BE- called a
"mill-privilege," particularly Il there be 4
high waterfall on the premises.
Few ladies are 80 modest as 10 refuse 10
sit 10 tie lap Of luxury.
A wTE's farewell to her husband every
morning-buy buy