Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1868-01-11
HUMOROUS.

A GLORIOUS GAME-NoTwrrHsTAN
The following colloquy did not occur in
Elmlra, but might have happened there just
as easy 1t is between an enthusiastic ad-
mirer and player of the game base ball. and
gentlemen who had SO much regard for
his personal comfort as to refrain from bat,
ball, and base exercise:
what is the matter with your finger 2"
"Struck with ball and drove ~. but it
is noble game" was the reply.
"Precisely-and your thumb Is useless, is
it not2"
Yes, struck with ball and broken"
That finger joint r.
"a ball struck it, No better game to i'm
prove mans physical condition, strength
en- ones sinews"
You walk lame that foot, isn't it z"
No. It's tbe-the-the-wei. bat flew
out OF players hand and hit my knee pan.
He had the innings"
Zone of your front teeth is gone 7"
knocked out by ball an accident"
Your right hand and nose have been
peeled-how's that r.
"Slipped down at second base--oply
mere scratch"
And you like this kind of fun 7"
"Glory in it sir. 1t is the healthiest game
in the world, SIR"
In the old town of W, in the Pine
tree State, lived one of those unfortunate
lords of creation who had, in not very long
life, put on mourning for three departed
wives. But time assuages heart rt-wounds as
well as those of the flesh. In due time
fourth was inaugurated mistress of his hear.
and house. He was very prudent man,
and suffered nothing to be wasted. When
np m st u 4 Il,
while cleaning up the attic, she came across
long piece of board. and was about launch.
ing it out of the window, when little Sadie
interposed, and said:
"Oh, don't, mamma that is the board
papa lays out'his wives on, and he wants to
save it /"
Nevertheless, out 1t went.
An honest Dutchman. in training up his
son III the way he should GO, frequently
exercised him in Bible lessons On one of
these occasions he asked him, "Who vas dat
would not shleep nit Botver's wife ~
"Shoseph." Oats coot poy Vel, vat
VAS the reason he would not shleep rsit her 2"
Don't kno -shpose he wasn't shleepy."
"Whst fine head your boy has ~ said
an admiring friend. Yes" said the fond
father, "he's chip of the old block, amt
you sonnyf" Il guess so, daddy cause
teacher said was young block head"
If"Beauty draws lis by single hair" Who
can Withstand modern waterfalls
The country pays more for alcoholic drinks
than for all its colleges and schools.
Why is dancing like milk Because it
strengthens the calves.
These are loving times, when every thing
is as dear as it can be.
What sculpture is to block of marble,
education is to the human soul.
1t is said hoops surround the lovliest of all
things-girls and whisky.
Patrick told his sweetheart he ''Cou!d not
slape for dreaming Of her."
When may funds be supposed to be- uu.
steadyi When money is tight.
When does man have to keep his wordI
When no one will take it.
Why are Odd Fellows like sausages2 Be-
cause they are linked together.
Men, like books, have at each end blank.
leat-childhood and old age.
Why are your eyes like stagehorses Be-
cause they are under the lashes.
Why cannot cook eat her own apron
Because it goes against her stomach.
What beau Is least liked by young ladies
on picnic party A rainbow
Tobacco should not be chewed, but es.
chewed.
If small boy is a lad, big boy must be
ladder.
Beer fills many bottle, aud the bottle
many bier.
When is silence likely to get woti When
it reigns.
What can you not name without breaking
it Z Silence.
Some fishermen use cotton for bait, 30 do
some women.